Note: Starts in senior year.  Canonical death in the NCIS fandom, Kate's.  Not graphic, but funeral is shown.

Xander sighed and looked at the people standing around the library.  There was no way he was going to share secrets with them.  They weren't the sort to care; it wouldn't make him feel any better.  They didn't want him around, they didn't need his help.  So he quietly went back to his house and settled in for a longish night.  He had things he had to do.  A lot of things he had to do.  Namely, avoid his parents again.  Though, they were already passed out when he got there so it was fine.  He went up to check his room, finding it had been gone through, and sighed.  "Damn it!"  He checked his stash.  They had sold two of his guns.  Not his laptop.  Not his backup.  He'd be okay but he definitely needed to move tonight.  He checked his other hiding spots.  They were better and all around the house.  One had been touched but it only had his diskette and CD fund - only a hundred and fifty bucks so he'd be fine.

He went back up to his room and packed the last few bags of stuff he *really* wanted.  He'd come get the other stuff later.  Then he snuck out of the house with his backpack and two bags, heading for the motel.  It was cheesy.  He'd run into Faith there.  He didn't care and Faith wouldn't nark because he'd kill her and she knew it.  They'd had a little ...talk a few months back after their last run-in.  He checked in for the month and then went back to get the rest of his crap, sneaking it out too.  He was even nice enough to leave a note saying he couldn't stand people who stole from him.  On his way back to the motel he stopped off at the all-night restaurant, going to find one of the cops he knew.

Growing up in the same town all your life meant you knew about everyone in town.  He found one he liked and put his stuff down in an empty seat, smiling at the waitress.  "Just pausing."  He sat down next to the officer and grinned at him.  "My parents broke into the weapons stash that I found lying in a graveyard a few months back.  They sold two revolvers, a silver dagger, about seven boxes of bullets that won't fit the revolver, nine mil, and about a hundred and fifty bucks.  By the way, the," he coughed, "set in the basement is smelling off.  I'm not sure they're not going to blow themselves up this month."

The officer looked at him.  "Where did you find guns?"

"On patrol," he said quietly.  The officer looked confused.  He leaned closer.  "Don't pretend.  You've caught us out going at it before," he said quietly.  The officer nodded, sipping his coffee.  "Think I'm not part of that since Willow is?"  He gave him a look.  "You'd be very surprised what I learned off Willow over the years, Officer Paul."  He got up and grabbed his other stuff.  "They're passed out so if they were cooking drugs or anything, the house is going to go up.  Need the basement keys?"

"Please.  I'll send them to you at school tomorrow."

"I'm skipping tomorrow.  I'm tired of the heathen brats I know."

"Where are you staying?"

Xander looked at him and grinned.  "Where do you think?"

"Rosenburg's?"

"With her being one of the heathen brats?"

"One of those problems," he said wisely.

"Yeah, she thinks I'm helpless and useless again," he said dryly, giving him a look.  The officer snorted and smiled at him.  "Exactly.  So I'm at the motel.  I'm going to get dinner and go home."  He smiled at the waitress, taking his usual meal.  He paid her, plus tip, and left with a smile and his things.  He found Faith in his room and slapped her hard.  "Get out of my shit."

"Sorry!"  She backed away from him.  "Why are you here, boytoy?"

He smirked. "Parents stole and sold guns from me."

"Pity.  Need help unpacking?"

"No, but I want my CD holder back, Faith.  You can't hide keys in that top, much less that."

"The mayor...."

"Can lick my balls and he knows it," he said firmly, holding out a hand.  "Betray me like they did, baby," he said with an evil smirk.  "Watch me destroy someone you love."  She handed it over and stomped off so he slammed the door and locked it, putting everything away.  Not too many hiding spots in here but he did know a *bit* of magic, mostly concealment spells.  Then he sat down on the bed with his laptop, plugging it into his cellphone.  Some day he'd have to explain things to the others, but not tonight.  He opened his dinner and ate one handed while he checked his email and typed.  He hated the mayor.  He *really* hated the mayor.  Oh well, pity for him.

***

That summer, Xander checked into another motel.  No one knew he was coming this way.  He had a story all cooked up already for the girls if he went home.  He looked at the guy across from him, smiling a bit.  "Hi."

"Hi.  What brings you here?"

"I learned a lot watching someone and I want to know more.  This is the place to do that."

"Who did you watch?"

"Rosenburg."

The man blinked.  "The little snotty girl from Sunnydale?"

Xander smirked and nodded.  "Yeah.  I'm Jeeves."

"Ah!" he said happily, shaking his hand.  "I'm Reagan.  Happy to meet you in person finally."

"Thanks, man.  It's great to get out of hell."  That got another laugh.  "So, I know what I can do. You know what I can do because you caught me and have been trying to teach me.  What else can you try to teach me?"

"Subtlety?"

"Could help," Xander admitted.  "Then again, in my town everyone ignores everything."

"Pity."  He leaned on the table.  "Did you bring that new CD?"  Xander slid it over.  "Let's spin it and see how it went."  He opened his laptop and started the CD, looking it over.  "Huh," he said finally.  "Not bad.  Your coding still sucks."

"I'm self-taught.  Watching her led to textbooks.  Though, she thinks I have problems checking my email most days."

"How can she not see?"

"Easy, she doesn't want to.  To her, I'm useless and need protecting."

"You could probably use a protector."

"Yeah, well, sometimes these things happen and I'm pretty good at self defense these days."

"I heard your graduation got blown up."

"Putting it mildly.  We lost twelve and I helped with the defense."

"Ow.  Well, at least you can defend yourself sometimes."

"Now and then," he agreed happily.  He looked around.  "That's a siren."

"Huh?"  He listened then stood up.  "Meet me at your place."

"Going."  They ducked out and others followed, showing they had good sense.  Xander watched the cops bust the hacker's club, shaking his head as he walked off.  One of the officers got in his way.  "Hi," he said with a shy boy grin.  "I'm visiting the town.  Is that motel the only one?"

The officer nodded slowly.  "Yeah, don't like it?"

"It doesn't have 'net access and my friends are going to be pissed if I don't send virtual postcards.  Cheaper, ya know?"

"Were you in the club, sir?"

"No."

"Are you sure you weren't in the club?"

"I'm only eighteen.  I can't go into clubs yet, Officer."

The officer stared at him.  "Got any ID?"  Xander pulled out his wallet and handed it over. "Sunnydale, California.  How far away is that?"

"Seven hours.  I'm on a post-high school road trip and someone suggested there were some neat places to go sit and meditate outside town."

The officer handed back the ID.  "Not my thing, I can't direct you that way, kid."

"That's fine."  He grinned again.  "Can I go?  I'm starving and the motel's restaurant is closing soon."

"Go ahead.  I know where you are if I need to find you."  He watched the boy walk off, taking down his license plate number and name, plus his ID number since he had memorized it.  He went to his boss to check on him.  "Found this guy watching, sir."

"I saw you talking to him."  He looked at the information he had jotted down.  "Sunnydale?"  The officer nodded.  "Didn't they have a problem with their graduation or something?"

"Gas explosion during it," another officer yelled.  "Sir, none of these guys have laptops or computers."

"Doesn't mean they aren't hackers, son."  He handed the information back.  "Call the kid's department to see if he's one of them.  That is odd timing."  The officer nodded, going to do that.  The Captain watched them question the ones found in the bar.

***

Xander looked up from his lunch, smiling at the officer who sat across from him.  "Want some fries, Officer?"

"No, son.  I want some straight answers.  What is with your town?"

"A hellmouth."

"A what?"

"Under the school.  Draws bad things there.  It was under the library before the school went boom."  He shrugged.  "We're like Roswell.  There's a lot of strange stuff that no one admits to and they all ignore."  He ate a bite of his burger.  "Why?"

"Your guys are really strange out in California, aren't you?"

Xander shrugged.  "You asked."

"I did.  Okay."  He put something down onto the table, sliding it over.  "Who's she?"

Xander looked then at him.  "One of the heathen brats who thinks I'm useless."

"Okay," he said slowly.  "One of the ones you've got to write emails to?"

"I probably should.  Not that she'll do more than read and delete."  He leaned on the table.  "Why?"

"Because they said you didn't do a lot out there."

"No shit, really?" he asked dryly, smirking at him.  "Blinders," he said slowly and clearly.  "I work with Willow after hours.  Of course I don't do anything.  I'm actually weapons support."

"Any particular one?"

"Crossbows recently.  It comes in handy."

"If you say so.  Got any on you?"

Xander pulled out his firearms card, sliding it over.  "One pistol for self defense while on the road.  It's a nine mil, it's a seven shot.  I can get it from the car if you need to see it."

"I probably should."  Xander got up and went to do that, bringing it back in.  He put it in front of him then sat back down to eat, smiling at the waitress.  "I made him, Marge."

"That's fine.  You're armed, kid?"

He grinned.  "I'm a on a post-high school road trip.  That's for safety reasons."  He took it back and broke it down for him, placing everything in front of him.  "See?  Full clip, clean, not been fired recently."

He checked it over then put it back together, sliding it back.  "Good."  He handed back the card too.  "How long are you staying in town?"

"A few more days.  Then I'm moving east."

"Good to know.  Going to Las Vegas?"

Xander grinned.  "I'm not sure I want to tempt fate."

"Probably a wise decision," Marge agreed, going back behind the counter.  Xander walked over the money for the check.  Then he came back, putting the gun into his waistband.  He winked at the officer and took the rest of his food up to his room, going to nibble while he wrote out emails and virtual cards.  He even checked his online accounts.  Not the hidden one but the normal ones that Willow might've found.  He found one had a withdrawal from it and traced it down.  "Anya," he hissed.  He wrote the bank, making sure they knew he was the only one authorized to remove money from the account.  He included the particulars he had found with it.  He logged out of his normal ID and checked outside, seeing the cop looking at his car.  He leaned out.  "Go ahead," he called.  "You can search it.  I don't care."  He tossed down the keys, coming out to lean on the railing while the guy searched his car. The officer brought back his keys a few minutes later and a CD.  He looked at it then at him.  "Of course I have CD's, the same as I have a laptop, dude.  I'm a teenager.  I just graduated high school.  Isn't it mandatory?"

"I guess.  Can I see the laptop?"  Xander went to log back in for him, letting him examine the programs.  "What's this one?" he asked, pausing the mouse.

Xander looked.  "An AV program to play Divx movies."

"Oh."  He kept going then handed it back.  "Thank you, sir."

"Welcome.  I'm not a mean guy, really."

"I'm sure you're not."  He smiled.  "Have a good time meditating."

"I just sent emails to my heathen brats."

The officer nodded.  "I've raised one of those."  He left, going to tell his Captain what he had found.  There was nothing that implicated him as being a hacker or having been in that club.

Xander closed his door and went to log out then log back in after he checked his computer over to make sure the officer hadn't planted a bug or any hacking gear.  Then he logged in and entered a chat room he liked, typing in that he was leaving town in two days.  His new friend said he'd mail him something to his PO Box and that was fine.  He logged off and went to check his other accounts.  It was healthy enough and he needed a distraction so he ordered some porn.  After all, he was eighteen.  A few clicks and he was out of that persona on his laptop and it was all good again.

***

Xander went to his next stop, pausing first at the mailboxes etc. place.  It would forward anything from Sunnydale to him, no matter where he was at the time.  He found a few DVD's in there of things he should learn.  Also a supicious CD from Willow and another one from another friend he had met online.  He liked him, he was kinda a neat guy.  Though, he was a Fed and everyone knew he was a Fed so they didn't do a lot of stuff around him but he was great at hacking and winning games so they accepted him for that much alone.  Then again, he had went to college to be a professional hacker so they guessed it was okay enough with them.  He gathered them and his two new books of the month and headed back to his car, going to find a motel for the night.  He smiled at the flurry of activity in front of him.  It was definitely a sight to behold.  "Maybe I'll get some of that 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' mojo," he joked, parking at a small motel.  He got out to check in, smiling at the hostess.  "Hi, I need a room for about two weeks please.  Do you guys have efficiencies?"

"We do, sir.  Only two weeks?"

"Post-grad road trip," he said with a grin.

She smiled back.  "I wish I had gotten to go on one.  Let's see what I can do for you.  I have one that'll rent for three hundred."  He winced.  "It's usually forty a night," she offered.  He did the mental math and handed over his debit card, which declined.  He groaned and handed over another one.  "Problems at home?"

"Ex-girlfriend and I complained to the bank when she stole stuff."

"Oooh," she said with a wince, handing him his card.  "There you go. You're on the back side so you do get a bit of a view," she offered.  "You're on the second floor."

"That's fine, I can do stairs.  Do we have 'net access?"

"We have an internet cafe up the street," she offered.

"That could work.  Thank you."  He grinned and went to drive his car around back, taking stuff up to his room.  Then he called his bank from his cellphone.  "This is Xander Harris.  What the crap happened to my bank account?  And if you hang up on me, Carla, I'm having vamps come eat your dogs."  He smirked.  "Yes, me.  I know that.  I wrote an email saying that she did not have access two days ago.  Now, what the crap happened?  Please."  He waited while he was transferred over.  "Hi, it's Xander Harris.  Yes, me.  What did you let her do since she's *never* been put onto my accounts?  No, she was not.  Who did?  Willow's not on my accounts either.  Yes, I'm very sure I'm the only one on my accounts.  She doesn't even have power of attorney over me if something happens, okay?  Yeah, prove it or I'm suing.  I did not let allow them to do anything," he said slowly and clearly.  "Yeah, you're going to fix it.  How much did they take?"  He groaned and held his head.  "I'm not in town, I'm on my roadtrip.  That's what that fund was for.  I kinda doubt I was with them considering I was in Arizona last night," he said dryly.

"Exactly!" he agreed facetiously.  "Yeah, and I'm still going to sue.  You know what?  You allowed them to commit theft.  I don't care if you don't like it, lady.  Then put me on with someone who can before I have you all arrested for helping them commit the theft."  He was put on hold then a man came on.  He read off his account number.  "I'm Alexander Lavelle Harris.  Yes, him," he said dryly.  "On my road trip and I've learned that *someone* gave two girls access to my accounts when I didn't.  No, I did not write a letter to allow Willow Rosenburg to take out money, nor did I give her an ATM card.  No, I did not.  When?"  He smirked.  "You do know she's a hacker, correct?"   He nodded.  "Yup, and you've just allowed the hacker and my prom date to steal my money.  Since I'm on my roadtrip, I'm rather pissed and if I have to come back to town for this, I'm going to make everyone very sorry in a court of law.  I can easily find a lawyer to sue you, her, and my prom date.  Now, when is my money coming back to me?"  He nodded.

"That would be a reasonable solution as long as I got it back.  Really?  Fax it to me at my hotel then," he said.  "Or email it to me if it was electronic."  He smirked.  "I didn't think you would.  Now, it'll be back or else.  Today.  Or you can close that one out, start a new account, and rush my cards to me.  I have my PO Box forwarded through one of those mailbox places.  That would work.  When can I expect it?"  He checked the date on his watch.  "Unacceptable.  I don't care.  It's still unacceptable.  You can because this is an emergency and I will sue you, personally if I must.  She's not the only hacker I know either."  That got a splutter but an agreement.  "That would be fine.  Please check my other accounts since she's not allowed in those either.  Oh, I'll be dealing with her," he promised.  "Thank you."  He hung up and called her.

"Willow, has it occurred to you that the theft from my account which you helped Anya do is now pissing me off and I can have you arrested for a felony?  And yes, I am that petty at the moment since you're hindering my trip.  Well, gee, no, I can't.  Since I don't feel like ending up homeless or whoring myself tonight..."  He waited while she giggled.  "Considering I got offered a grand the other night, Willow, I wouldn't laugh," he said dryly, smirking meanly at her spluttering.  "Put.  It.  Back.  Willow.  Tonight.  Or.  Else."  He hung up and laid down, then found his laptop and checked the others.  He wrote a nice email about how he had found a few other withdrawals and someone was going to pay soon.  He got into his other persona and hacked her computer, stealing it all and putting it into an account she didn't have access to.  Then he logged off before she caught him.  He wanted to watch her panic.  She deserved it.  He checked his email, finding one from her with a promise of cookies but he returned it as junk mail.

He got up and went to get a vacationer's guide, going to take some money from an ATM and go see some sights.  Willow could stew and she'd be very sorry very soon.  He even went to visit one of the brothels that Las Vegas was so famous for.  Not too bad.  The gambling was okay too.  He didn't lose more than twenty bucks and he had time to visit the rest of the city later on. He came back and checked his email, finding one from the bank with the details of his new account and the fact that they had reported her and fixed the situation for him, to please not sue them.  He wrote back that since it was fixed and would not happen again it was fine.  He did list with them where he was and where he was planning on going so they wouldn't care if he made withdrawals.  Then he settled in to sleep, very happy for the night.

***

Xander got to DC a few weeks later, still all smiles and happiness.  It was great up until the point in time when someone shot at him.  He didn't even have to shoot back, there were transit officers there who did it for him.  He looked at the one nearest to him.  "Damn, I thought the bad parts were on the other side," he quipped.  The officer gave him a look so he grinned.  "Tourist."

"Actually, the other side is better for you folk," he said dryly.  "It's cleaner too."

"Got a good, cheap motel recommendation with an efficiency in it?"  He nodded, writing down an address.  "Thanks, man.  Let me grab my car and head."  He went to look, finding a few bullet holes in it.  "Huh.  Guys, do you need to pull the bullets?"  One guy with an uzi ran up on him, pointing the gun at him.  Xander looked then snorted and looked into his eyes.  "Try it."  The guy sneered so he did a very nice duck/heel sweep/stomp in the middle of his chest maneuver, staring down at him.  "Wanna try that again since I'm from near LA?" he asked patiently.  The kid whimpered when he applied pressure.  "Go ahead.  You can beg.  I like begging."  The officers coughed.  "Want him too?"

"Please, sir.  Military?"

"No, rough town.  I'm from near LA."  He shrugged and got his three bags and two briefcases from the car, then his CD holder from the front and gave the officer his keys.  "I'm going where he suggested. The Norman Rockwell Motel.  When your bullet pulley people are done with it drop it and the keys off please."  He walked off, catching a cab.  "The officer said to go to the Norman Rockwell Motel?"  He handed over the slip.  "There please?"

"Sure, kid."  He drove off, glancing back at him.  "Got shot at?"  Xander nodded.  "You okay?"

"I'm from three hours outside LA.  Gunshots aren't what scare me most of the time."

"Good to know.  You a ganger?"

"No, post-grad road trip to see more of the world."

"Good.  That's a good thing."  He pulled into the motel, waiting while Xander went inside to check in, then helped him bring his bags inside.  "Two briefcases?"

"One's my laptop, the other's books and things," he said with a grin.  That got a smirk.  "I am eighteen."  The guy laughed and walked off.  He settled in to check his email for the day, writing a note to the local contact in the underground that he was in town but not causing trouble.  Just a head's up that he was local if they wanted to have coffee.  Then he settled in to look at the maps the motel had on hand for visitors.  There was a lot to see around here and there was a theme park not fifty miles away.  As a matter of habit he checked his accounts, smiling at the nice, big bankroll he had.  He had won his last day in Las Vegas and it was pretty neat.  He checked his hidden account too and it was still there.  He logged off his laptop, hid it magically, then headed out to check on his mail.

He had told the last mailbox place he was heading here so they could forward everything for him.  He found a check in there, frowning at it.  The enclosed letter made him grin.  Someone had used something of his commercially.  He took it to have it cashed, finding a nice bank who talked to his bank of choice back home and did it for him.  Then he went to get dinner since the motel hadn't had an efficiency open for him.  He had enough to splurge on fast food.  He found an email waiting on him from his local buddy and smiled, writing back that he could be called.  He gave him his cellphone number and told him to call when he had time.  Then he sat down to eat and check out the cable.  It was a good first night.

***

Xander sat down across from the guy he thought was his contact.  "Elf Lord Vargas?" he asked quietly.  The guy looked at him and nodded. "Funny, your college picture had you being a bit shorter, pudgier, and geekier."

"I work with him.  He's off talking someone through some evidence and told me to wait for you.  So, you game with him?"

"And other stuff," he agreed with a grin.  "Xander Harris."

"Tony DiNozzo."  He shook his hand.  "Roadtrip?"

"Post high school graduation.  Couldn't think of a better time before I had to wizen up and become an adult."

"It is a good time for that.  Going to college?"

"Didn't get in anywhere," he said quietly.

"And you do *what* in your free time?" he asked dryly.

"It's more complicated than that.  I've got other stuff I've got to do at home.  This is my first vacation since tenth grade when the extra stuff started."

"Liking it?"

"I won ten grand in Las Vegas.  I got to see some of Arizona, Nevada, Texas, then I drove here," he said with a grin.  "It's been okay, even though one of my friends did try to steal money from my bank account."

"Wow.  You get it back?"

"Yeah, I threatened to sue the bank since they let her do it."  He grinned at the guy coming in.  "Hi.  You look a lot like your MIT picture."

"He certainly does," Tony agreed dryly.

"Thanks for waiting on him for me, Tony."

"Not a problem.  He's a nice kid."  He smiled at Xander.  "Stick around and maybe you'll see me again, Xander."

"Sure.  Got to be better than the guy who shot at me when I stopped to get a bagel and a good motel rec."  Tony walked out laughing.

"You were kidding, right?" Tim McGee asked as he sat down.

"Nope.  Then one ran up on me.  Not wise."  He smiled at the waitress, putting down cash.  "Can I have a coke, no ice, and a ham sandwich with fries?"  She nodded, turning to Tim.  "I've got lunch."

"You sure?"

"I won some in Las Vegas."

"Okay.  I'll have what he's having, no mayo, and chips please," Tim ordered.  She smiled and walked off, taking the money with her and coming back with the change.  "So, what are you doing in DC?"

"Road trip.  Post grad road trip."  He sipped his coke when it came, giving her a grin.   "I haven't been in the centaur game recently thanks to this trip.  How's it been going?"

"Good.  Most of your tribe was wiped out."

"I heard that.  I got an email from someone.  Thankfully I RP two characters."  He took his sandwich.  "Thank you."  Tim smiled and nodded his thanks.  "So, how's work?"

"Work's work.  The same as usual really.  You're not going to college?"

"Didn't get accepted."

"Did you apply?"

"Nope.  Couldn't do that without breaking my cover and they need me there too much."

"Xander...."

"I know but they still need me too much."

"Uh-huh.  I know what you do out there."

Xander looked at him.  "Then you know why they need me, even though they don't think they do."  He took a bite.  "I'll manage and hide later on."

"You could stay somewhere else."

"Again, they need me."

"It sounds like they need a swift kick," Tim said bitterly.

"Been talking to Willow?"

"Yeah, she said you turned her in for doing something."

"Stole sixteen hundred from my bank account with my prom date."  He ate another bite and grinned.  "Then I took it from her and handed it back to the bank.  They were very happy when I did that."

"Good.  Did they give it back to you?"

"Yeah, I threatened to sue them for letting her do that.  They got it fixed that night and had things forwarded to me so I could use my bank account again.  It's good though.  So is this sandwich.  What type of bread is this?"

"Sourdough.  You don't have that in Sunnydale?"  Someone nearby dropped a plate and he looked at them. "Yes, he's from there.  It's still daylight," he said calmly and quietly.

"Who are you?" the man asked.

"Buffy's friend Xander."  He looked at him then ate another bite.  "The one they like to ignore."

The man nodded.  "Are you moving?"

"Nope."

"You should."

"They'll pout," he said flatly.

"There's bad things moving that way."

"It always seems to happen that way," Xander agreed blandly, smirking at him.  The man just nodded and left it there.  So he looked at his lunch date again. "So."

"So," he agreed with a smirk.  "Still want to go back?"

"Have to, not want to.  Right now I want to beat Willow's head in since she thinks I'm useless."

"I've been there before but then they realized I could do some amazing things with a keyboard."

"They don't know I can.  Willow thinks she got me hooked on this game and that's the only reason I learned how to use a computer.  That I'm still having problems searching things."  Tim snickered.  Xander nodded, then ate another bite and switched to his fries.  "Yeah," he said when his mouth was clear.  "Apparently I'm stupid to them and useless, plus helpless.  So I officially give up.  I'll be there to help but oh well on the other stuff."

"Good," he said, smiling at him.  "Remember, you do have friends outside that life."

"Thankfully.  Or else I'd be really insane or on someone's hunt list before I killed again."

"Probably true.  Hey, I do have something you could help with.  Are you learning that new language?"  Xander nodded slowly.  "I'm behind."

"I've only had it for a few weeks.  What's going on?"

"Someone sent me a teaching file in it."

"Ah, I got one of those from Reagan before he got busted," Xander agreed.  "It's in my things if you wanted to copy it."

"I can't break the encryption on it."

"It might be the new virus going around."

"Point.  The scanner didn't pick it up.  I've got one that should."

Xander sipped his soda.  "I can look at it if you want.  I've got my laptop in my bag."  Tim handed over the CD from his pocket and Xander took his backpack off the back of his chair, loading it into the laptop once he had it on.  "Yeah, this is Percival's new virus.  He's calling it Chastity."  He ejected it and handed it over.  The laptop got put up and he slid over another CD.  "I'm at the Rockwell motel.  Make a copy and send the original back."

"Thanks, Xander."  He slid it into his pocket.  "What happened to Reagan?"

"They had a bust on the club out there.  They figured out he was there later on and got him about a week after I left.  Willow and the Sunnydale PD told them I was gun support for the problems in town so I got passed over after one really suspicious officer kept trying to find something to get me on.  I even let him search my car."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Anything else I should know?"

"I'm trying to stay on the side of good."

"Keep staying on the side of good.  Don't do what Willow did."

"I'm trying," he promised, smirking a bit.  "But it's very hard some days."  Tim nodded and sighed, digging into his lunch.  "I don't want your boss to yell at you."

"I told him I was meeting an online buddy and he made a joke about needing elf ears."

"I have a set of those," Xander said with a wicked smirk.  "Plus a Klingon forehead."  Tim snickered at that, patting him on the arm.  "I know, how typical.  As I keep having to point out, I'm eighteen, I'm allowed."

"You definitely are," he agreed happily.  His phone beeped.  "Crap."  He answered it.  "McGee."  He listened.  "Yeah, I'm still at lunch, boss.  Where should I meet you?"  He smiled.  "I'm actually near there.  I'll be there in fifteen."  He hung up and finished his lunch.  "I'll call if I get more time off before you go.  It was good seeing you in person, Xander."

"Welcome, Tim.  Be safe."

"I try."  He finished his chips on the way out the door.

Xander finished his lunch more leisurely and left a nice tip, then took his backpack out to the nearest park to sit and think while he worked on something.  He decided to warn Willow he had heard there was a new player coming to town to be nice then went back to surfing smut in public.  It was a gentle thrill and he'd had enough big ones to like the little ones.

***

Xander made it to his last planned out city a week after he left DC.  There was a lot to do between there and Miami.  Of course, nearly as soon as he checked in he was in trouble.  He had been warned something bad was going to happen.  That's why he found himself in an interrogation room looking very confused.  "Hold on," he complained, holding up a hand.  "That's not my name."  The guy in there with him kept calling him by another one and it was really starting to piss him off.

"We know the Alexander Harris is a alias," the dark-haired man across from him said patiently.

"Um, no.  My parents named me this unfortunately."

"Right," he said, flipping open the folder.  "Manuel Vargas...."

Xander burst out cackling.  "Dude, I know you guys work *really* hard and you probably keep the local Starbucks alive, but do I look like someone named Vargas or Manuel to you?"  The guy glared at him.  "I'm a white boy from Souther California."  He leaned forward.  "Look really closely.  Do I look like I'm Hispanic in the least?"

The guy looked at him.  "No but some who're mixed don't."

"Okay, but the problem with that is that I'm not.  I've never been a Manuel anything or a Vargas.  Unfortunately I'm a Harris.  I have to live with the shame of being a Harris every day for the rest of my life, unless I suddenly decide to get married and take my wife's name."

The guy looked at him.  "Where are you from?"

"Sunnydale.  My ID's in my wallet, can I pull it out?"

"Please."

"Want my firearm permit while I'm in there?" he asked, pulling that out as well to slide over.  "There's a nine in one of my bags for protection.  I'm on a post-grad roadtrip, dude."   He looked at them, holding them up to the light.  "Go ahead and check.  Sunnydale PD knows me pretty well.  My friends and I help them a lot in the town."

"Narks?"

"No....  Let's just say Sunnydale's odd and our PD sucks most of the time.  That's how I know you guys must be *really* tired and living on Starbucks fumes."  He gave him a look.  "Really, go check.  Ask for Officer David specifically.  If he's still alive he knows me better than most."

"I can do that.  You're staying in here."

"That's cool.  Want my fingerprints or DNA to make sure it's me?"

"You'd give them?" he asked.  "Willingly?"

"I have nothing to hide.  I'm not the guy you want.  Though I'm going to be figuring out how this happened.  I think I have an idea," he said at the amused look.  "My best friend kinda does a bit of messing around in some computer systems."  Which meant the right of retribution was his now.  He'd have to come up with something *special* for Willow.

"A hacker?" he asked blandly.

"Oh yeah and I'm so going to kill the bitch if it was her."

"That's fine.  Let me check this first.  If I need to I'll come get prints and things."

"Sure.  Can I have some water or a soda?  I've been on the road all day."

"I can do that I think."  He went to call out there and get the kid a drink.  There was something off about this situation.  "Hey, can I speak to an Officer David.  This is Tim Speedle, Miami-Dade Crime Lab.  We have the name Alexander Harris as an alias for one of our criminals down here."   The fact that the cop on the other end laughed and said 'Xander?' like it was the world's biggest joke confirmed the funny feeling. "Please."  He got transferred over.  "Hey....  Yeah, you heard right.  A Manuel Vargas.  He's into guns, drugs, and murder."  He waited.  Then he made a note.  "I can do that.  They're in the system for what reason?"   He smirked.  "No, what he said was that he and his friends helped you guys now and then.  I need to know if I'm doing an employee search or not."  He nodded, making a note of that as well.  "Thank you."  He hung up and brought the kid a soda.  "Need your fingerprints."  He put down a computer and Xander looked then laid his right hand on it.  "Thank you.  What's wrong with your town?"

"A hellmouth."

"A what?"

"Long story.  Very long story.  Did you guys find my laptop when you went through my car?  I think I need it for a few.  If she did that it might've led back to when she hacked into my bank account."

"Did you turn her in?"

"Yeah, the bank did."

"I'll see what we've found.  What type of gun did you have?"

"Smith and Wesson nine.  Seven shooter.  Full clip.  Hasn't been fired or cleaned this whole trip.  Should be in the blue bag."

"I'll tell them that."  He went to do that, going to run the prints as well.  "Hey, did we find his gun?"  The female member of the lab nodded.  "Did you run a registration?"

"Yeah, it came up with the same fake name."

"Problem is, it's not a fake name," Speed said, pulling up the fingerprint report for her.  She frowned at it.  "Somehow he got the kid's identity and the kid knows a hacker.  Did we find his laptop?  He wanted to check his bank accounts.  Apparently she got into them earlier this summer."

"Yeah, we did."  She carried the things in there, watching him do a quick search and then pull out his laptop and plug it in, then into his phone. "You can plug in through us if you need to," she offered.

"No thanks.  Don't trust you guys."

"I'm with the department."

Xander looked at her.  "So?"  He shrugged.  "The women in my life fuck me over, why would I trust you not to do the same when I've got a lot of experience saying that you will?"  He got back to work, finding his account.  "I'll be damned," he said dryly, plugging in his mobile printer.  It hummed and a page came rolling out on the fax paper roll he had installed to save space.  Then he got into another account, finding what he needed.  He printed that as well and shut everything down, handing it to her.  "That's who sold my identity.  Can I have it back now or should I file for a new one?"

"Let me check."  She walked that off.  "Speed?"  He looked out so she handed him the papers.  "He found that.  I don't know from where.  Apparently he doesn't have good experiences with girls.  What did you find?"

"I'm looking up his town. There's something seriously wrong with this picture."  He let her see.  "He mentioned this word," he said, highlighting one.

"Eric deals with more strange stuff than I do."

"Eric?" he called.  He leaned in a minute later.  "Come look at this."  He walked over then muttered and walked off.  "What's going on with that town?"

"Just what it says."  He walked into the interrogation room, looking at the young man.  "Which one are you?"

"According to them I'm some scummy guy who bought my identity from my best friend," he said dryly.

"And that is?"

"Alexander Harris."

"Crap."

"Basically.  So, can I get my own life back or is this going to be a problem with everything I do?"

"No, this is going to be a problem for a little while.  Hopefully we can straighten it out.  If not, maybe they can give you a new social security number or something.  You okay?"

"I'm surprisingly good but I still need my gun back and my silver dagger."

"I'll let 'em know to give 'em back when we release you."  He went to do that.  "Guys, don't forget to give him his weapons back before he goes."  He walked off shaking his head.

"He's very confident."

"There's a reason for that."  Speed pulled up Vargas' file.  "Doesn't look a thing like him."

"No, it doesn't.  I don't know what we're doing about this."  She called Horatio.  "We found the original owner of Manuel Vargas' new identity.  We caught him by accident.  In interrogation.  He's been helpful to Speed.  We've got fingerprints, called out to his hometown of Sunnydale...."  She looked at her phone.  "He hung up on me."

"Huh.  That's not his usual thing," Speed admitted, looking over as Horatio walked in.  "We have him, he is somehow showing up in the system as this guy," he said, going to the other screen.  "We have no idea how to stop that."

"You can and I'll help," he said, getting into the system to make a note in Xander's file and then in Vargas' that he stole that identity.  "Any idea how?"

"His friend's a hacker," Speed said, frowning a bit.  "I asked Eric to look at the information on his town.  He walked off swearing."

"I will be in a moment," Horatio admitted.  "Yes, that's the truth.  There are places where odd things happen."  He looked at them, pausing in his typing.  "Everything you read on that town is probably true.  What is he doing down here?"

"Post-graduation road trip," Speed said.  "How can it be true?"

"It just is."  He finished his note making and closed both files.  "Let him go."

"I'll get his weapons to hand back to him and make sure his car's out front," Calleigh promised, going to do that.

"I'll go let him know.  Does he need a new social security number?"

"The note I made will go to all agencies about that theft.  Find out how it was taken."  He walked off, going to take a tylenol for his new headache.

Speed walked back into the interrogation room.  "Good news, you were right."  Xander gave him a 'duh' look.  He closed the door and sat down.  "Which hacker are you?"

Xander looked at him for a moment.  He could appreciate this one.  A lot really.   He was smarter than Willow and didn't look past him.  "No comment."

"I'm not going to tell, kid.  I just need to know who to blame this on."

"Her name is Rosenburg."

"Okay."  He made note of that.  "Good friend of yours?"

"Since the first day of school," he said quietly, staring him down.  He leaned forward again.  "I'm not the bad guy here."

"You're not," he agreed.  He turned off the tape recorder and looked at him again.  "Just between us.  I know a few people who know that life.  I can have them pass back that you're in trouble."

"She doesn't know I'm me.  She thinks I only play games.  I learned by watching her."

"So you don't have a sig?"

He shrugged.  "I don't think it's pertinent.  I'm one of the good guys, I don't hack for shits and giggles.  I hack for good reasons."

"That's fine.  Did they take more out of your accounts?"

"No, I had them locked.  I need a passcode to get into them."

"Good thinking, Xander."  He looked at him.  "You are one.  I can tell.  You got into her accounts too easily, even for a best friend."

"I know her password.  It's not like she changes it that often.  Sorta like how she uses her own name."

"Uh-huh.  How good are you?"

Xander grinned.  "No comment.  I'm a foot soldier not a general in this battle, detective."

"Fine.  Even just between us?  That way I can let them let some others who do know you know you're okay and maybe they can help fix it?"

"I know one who's a Fed.  I'll tell him tonight."

"Sure, that'll work.  Is he FBI?"

"NCIS."

"Who?"

"Marine and Navy cops."

"Interesting."  He shrugged.  "C'mon. I know you want to brag."

Xander snorted and shook his head.  "Not hardly.  It's not a sensation I've ever gotten used to or that I feel comfortable with."  He stood up when he saw the look of pity for his low self esteem.  "Am I free to go and will you please make sure I can get into a motel for the next few nights?  I'm still looking forward to seeing the sights and maybe going out to have some fun."

"I can do that.  I can even escort you back to the other place."  Xander shrugged, grabbing his bags.  "Why are you going to go back there if they don't appreciate you?"

"Want and need.  They don't want me but they need me."

"Still sucks for you."

"Yeah, well, duty and all that," he said dryly.  "Not like they pay attention to me.  Haven't for years."  He looked around, grabbing his soda.  "Thanks for the drink too."

"Not an issue."  He walked him out, grabbing the weapons from Calleigh.  "I'm going to head with him, explain it to the motel people."  She nodded.  "I'm sure she took good care of it for you, Xander."

He shrugged and put it into his bag.  Then the clip.  "I'm sure she did.  She's a professional."  He walked outside, smiling at the man scowling out there.  "How can you be so upset when there's hotties in bikinis bouncing for men to ogle?"

"They don't like it when guys my age do that, kid."

"That's why a smart man invented sunglasses."  He took his keys back and put everything into his car, checking the trunk as well.  "Thanks for not tearing things up."

"Welcome."  He watched the kid get in and got into his own hummer, heading back with him while he thought.  There was something definitely wrong with this picture.  He knew the kid was a hacker.  He knew that someone was going to get the proverbial foot up the ass treatment.  He hoped he got to see some of it and maybe it would help them catch the real guy.  He walked the kid into the motel's office, smiling at the woman behind the counter.  "Wrong guy.  Someone stole his identity."

"That's fine.  It's good it was a mistake."

"Very good," Xander agreed.  "So, efficiencies?  I'm here for probably a week."

"I do have one," she agreed, taking his debit card for it.  It went through once he pushed in his pin number, then she gave him the key.  "Top floor, all the way on the end, young man."

"Thank you."  He took his card back, smiling at Speed.  "You can help me heft and tote if you want."

"Sure."  He went to do that, watching how he settled in.  "No one here can hear us, Xander," he said quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "Why do you want to know?"

"Well, for one so I can keep track of you through those same friends.  Make sure you're really not one of the annoying ones."

"I go by Jeeves."

"I thought he was an older guy."

"Giles, the group's mentor, hates computers but I made it look like him.  Guys my age get a bad rap."

"Interesting.  Wouldn't he mind?"

"He thinks computers are the spawn of demons sent to distract us from reality and the good fight."  He smirked just a tiny bit.  "I'm still not one of the annoying ones.  Though I will be cursing Willow tonight."

"Sure, you do that.  Check in with me before you go or have someone call if you have more problems."  He handed over one of his cards.  "Got it?"

"Got it."  Speed smiled and left so Xander got to work looking someone up online.  He found where he was hiding and pulled up the spell he had in mind, dialing his cellphone.  "Ethan Rayne please?"  He smiled.  "Ethan, Xander Harris, from Sunnydale.  Yes, one of Giles' kids.  Of course I found you.  I looked online, Ethan.  No, I'm calling because I need someone to curse Rosenburg to eternal truthfulness.  Like if Buffy asks if her butt looks bit in something she has to answer truthfully.  Cannot tell a lie, cannot do things to hurt others.  That sort.  I did find it in one of the ancient books.  What's in it for you?  Well, next time you want at Giles, I'm going to step out of the way.  Yes, that is worth it. Hmm.  Let's see.  I'm not back in town right now so I definitely can't get in the way.  Won't be for almost a month probably."  He rolled his eyes, getting comfortable on the bed.  "Ethan, dear, why would I care what you want to do to him?  He treats me like I'm invisible.  Really?  Who do you think planned the defense at grad?  Yup, was me.  I led it too.  I'm her backup and she's a scatterbrained twit who's starting college this year.

"That leaves Rosenburg and me in your way.  Since she sold my identity to a drug and gun dealer, meaning I just got arrested in Miami and nearly thrown in jail for felonies in a death penalty state.....  Yup.  That's what I want.  That one."  He sighed.  "Because she doesn't think I can do it on my own and it would create pretty hell.  Her not being able to lie?  Think about all the problems that could cause, which you could reap energy from.  It could be a constant source of amusement.  Yes, I can, I don't want to out myself as being able to, Ethan.  Fine, where do I go in Miami for real supplies?"  The phone was hung up.  "Bastard."  He looked at the Wiccan webpage, finding the usual sources. "Probably not what I need," he muttered as he searched.  "It'll be a place to start anyway."  He went to do that, finding it after a few wrong turns.  Mapquest was not a great map to him.  At least not for short distances.  He walked into the store and smiled at the goth looking girl behind the counter.  "I need stuff for a spell."

"You don't look like a warlock," she teased.

"Do I look like an oathbreaker?" he said, staring her down.  She went paler.  "I'm a sorcerer.  A warlock is not what you think it is."  He moved closer.  "And yes, before you ask, I'm from a power point."

"Wow.  Which state's?"

He looked at her. "Sunnydale."  She looked clueless.  "If you don't know this isn't where I need to be."

"We do have a lot of working equipment, even if I'm not familiar with your coven, sir."  He sighed so she followed him into the shelves.  "What do you need?"  He handed over the list from the online spellbook.  "Where did you find this?  It's like that movie."

"It is and it's from one of the more ancient tomes."  He looked at her.  "Sometimes looking in the dusty books is for the best. You can find some really neat stuff in there."  He found something and walked it over to something he needed, putting it next to the small bottle. "This isn't what you think it is or the charm would be vibrating."  He handed off the charm and looked at something else.  "This is much too dry."

"It's supposed to be dried," she huffed, handing back the list.

"Yes, but it's not supposed to be so dry it falls apart like dead leaves."  He let her see.  "You can't chop it when it's that dry."

"Okay, that is a bit too dry," she admitted.

He made her look at him.  "Where's a good store where I can find the stuff I need for this spell?" he asked quietly.  "One for the people who can truly get it to work?"

"Down in Calla Ocho," she said, swallowing.  "We're not welcome down there."

"They won't mind me."

"They're dark."

"And I'm a white lighter.  They still won't bother me."  He smiled and patted her on the head.  "Look at the Foreman's guide.  It's one of the ancient ones that deals with folk magic."  He walked off, going down there.  He finally found it with a few careful turns of his car.  He walked in and inhaled, then coughed.  "Oh, this smells like home."  Everyone in there stared at him.  "I'm Xander, from Sunnydale."  He grinned sweetly.  "I'm going to curse Rosenburg for stealing things from me.  Got any powdered unicorn horn in a solution of oil?"  He walked down the few stairs, heading for the equipment aisle.  He did need a small brassier to heat it on.  Plus a few candles.

The salesgirl came over carefully.  "We don't usually see your sort, usually we see Brujas."

Xander grinned at her.  "I don't usually have to use it.  I let Willow screw things up but this time she screwed with me."

"Your kind believe in payback?  I thought you let the Goddess do it for you."

He kissed her on the cheek.  "I'm not.  I'm making it so she can't hurt others.  That way the Goddess has time to work."  He let her see his ingredient list.  "I found it online in one of the spellbook sites.  I know it works.  I've used it on someone in the past."

"We have everything on this but the gall.  You could have it mailed."

"I don't really want to send to New York for that.  It'll break in the mail and eat things or people."  He grimaced, finding what he needed.  "I can substitute this, right?"  She nodded cautiously.  "Thanks."  He took his list back and gathered everything, heading to the counter.  "Okay, I need these."

"You're missing a few things," the salesgirl offered, holding up a candle.  "You'll need red."

"I don't.  Blood magic on the hellmouth works differently thanks to the taint.  I'm born and bred there.  Just on vacation here."  She shuddered but came over to ring him up.  He smiled and stroked the cheek he had kissed. "It's all right.  I'm on vacation and she sold my identity to a drug dealer."  She shuddered, a full body, horrified shudder.  "She's never going to be able to lie again, even if Buffy asks if her ass looks big in something."  He took the slip.  "Thank you."  He grabbed the bag and walked out, whistling happily.

***

Willow answered her phone.  "Willow," she said sullenly.  "Xander."  She perked up some.  "How are you doing?"  She blinked.  "I know I did that.  Why are you still complaining?"  She snorted and rolled her eyes.  "He's not that bad....  Drug dealer?" she said, looking a bit sick.  "Six murders?  In a death penalty state?  No, I don't think you'll make a good prisoner.  I'm sorry, okay?  Want cookies?"  She sniffled.  "You don't have to be mean, Xander!"  Buffy walked in.  "It's Xander.  He's being mean."  She sighed and put him on speaker, rubbing her ear.

"Gee, Willow, I don't know why I'd be *mean*.  It's not like you sold my identity to someone who's wanted for six murders, one of them a police officer so that's an automatic death penalty offense.  Do you think that I'm going to make a good prisoner on death row?  Because you know, I'm not really like that or a rapper."

Buffy sat down.  "It can't be that bad."

"The police picked me up to arrest me, Buffy!  The only thing that's keeping me out of jail right now is that I don't look like a Manuel!" he shouted.  "She's damn lucky I'm not in her face right now!  There is *nothing* she can do to make this up to me."

She pouted.  "Are you going to tell whatever hacker you know?"  Buffy frowned at her.  "Every time he's mad at me someone attacks my computers or online gaming personas."

"No, Willow, I don't have to have you attacked.  After all, Elf Lord Vargas is a Fed.  They kindly put into my ID profile that this happened and who did it.  I think I'm the least of your worries."  He hung up.

Willow flopped down onto her bed.  "I'm sorry."

"Willow, you spent most of the summer saying that.  Are you maybe catching Xander's issues and getting a bit possessed?"  Willow shook her head, pouting.  "Fine.  Figure out what's going on.  He'll forgive you eventually.  He's like that.  After all, this is Xander we're talking about."

"If one of the Feds come I can go to jail," she said with a pout.

"You have plenty of ways to buy your way out of it, Willow.  I'm sure you've found all sorts of stuff you can bargain with, like how you got in touch with that Manuel guy."

"Yeah, maybe," she agreed.  "I'm more worried that he's going to have whatever hacker he knows attack me and Oz."

"Then warn Oz."

"I should."  She found the phone by feel and dialed her boyfriend.  "We're going to have another hacker attack from Xander's friend.  Because I kinda needed book money for that new book for us so I kinda sold his identity."  He hung up on her.  "Oz?"  She looked at the phone then pouted.  "He hung up on me."

"You're going to be lucky if he doesn't spank," Buffy reminded her.

"Yeah, I guess."

Buffy put on a shirt.  "Does this make me look flat chested?"  Willow opened her mouth, whimpering but nodding after a moment.  She stared at her.  "Hmm.  Did you mess up magic that makes you tell the truth?"

Willow whimpered, putting a hand over her head.  "I need to see Giles."

"Put on clothes, I'll walk you over so you can tell him you almost made Xander become a rapper to survive."  Willow got up and lethargically got her shoes and jacket, following her out the door.

***

Xander made it back into town, going to find a place to live.  He nodded at his mother, who cooed and petted his cheek.  "Oh, no.  I'm not moving back in.  You steal shit from me."  He walked around her, going into the motel.  "I'm not moving back in with her."  He put down his debit card, giving the skeptical woman a grin.  "I visited Las Vegas too."

"Congrats.  Lose big?"

"No.  Not this time."  She snorted but rang him up for a month.  "Thanks."  He walked out to his car, finding his mother trying to get into it.  "Get away from my stuff.  I'm an adult now, you can't steal from me without me putting you in jail, again."  She glared at him and he glared back.  "Go away, Mother.  Now.  Before I file a restraining order."  He saw an officer and pointed.  "Please?"

"Mrs. Harris," the officer said, coming over to move her out of the way.  "He's right."

"He's my son!  What's his is mine!"

"I earned everything in my trunk on my own, Mom.  You didn't buy anything but a few ugly shirts."  He gave her a look.  "Now shoo before I have to get *really* mean."  She stomped off.  He looked at the officer.  "Thanks for helping with the Willow-given problem."

"Not an issue.  Though the Fed who got eaten's boss probably isn't that happy."

"Yay me.  Next time they can arrest her and drag her out of the town."  The officer nodded and smirked.  "What?"

"Computers, Xander?"

Xander shrugged.  "She got me hooked on this online game, Officer Paul."

"War game?"

"Centaurs."

He walked off laughing.  "Settle in and behave, Xander.  The ladies are at the college.  Mr. Giles has the Magic Box."

"Thanks."  He hefted things up to his room, coming back to make sure he had everything. Then he locked his car and went back up to check his email and get a few hours on his favorite game.  He heard a knock and got up, looking at the officer there.  "Did that screw up thing that Willow created cause a problem?"

"No.  That's been fixed for the most part."  He walked inside.  "She told the Fed that you had a hacker attack her?"

"I play online with a few in some role playing games."

"That's reasonable.  You do know she's very hurt?"

"She sold my identity to a drug runner and murder.  One who killed a cop."  The officer winced.  "Yeah.  And I was in Miami at the time," he said quietly.  "They didn't even ask to see my ID.  They assumed I was Manuel Vargas.  I had to prove I wasn't.  They're damn lucky I didn't kill her yet."

"Are you going to forgive her?  You know how life can be short around here."

"Not like she wanted to be friends anymore.  She made that *very* clear before graduation."

"Then why come back, Xander?"

Xander snorted.  "I don't know anymore.  Beyond duty?"

"That's reasonable," he decided.  "Are you gaming now?  Your screen's blinking."

Xander looked and typed something in, smiling at the person he was playing with.  "Yeah.  That's the Fed who games in this one."  He grinned at him.  "Thanks for caring, Officer Paul.  Can you keep my mother away from my shit?"

"I can try.  I'd move out of here soon and find somewhere with good locks."

"I'm planning on it.  Anything else I should know?"

"Yeah, your prom date is back in town."

"I don't need sex that bad.  Las Vegas had some pretty working girls."  The officer walked off laughing.  "It did.  Thanks for warning me."  The officer nodded, letting him close the door and lock it behind him.  He went back to the computer, telling the guys online about that.  It was a good round and he even got some filly mating in.

***

A few weeks later Tim McGee opened his email, frowning at something.  "ELV, is this your area or someone else's?  Please see the enclosed video because otherwise I'm going to have to stomp them and that will make people mad," he muttered as he read.  He opened the video and frowned.

"New game?" Tony asked from his desk.

"No.  Remember the kid I had you wait on while I helped Abby?"

"Yeah, Xander.  Nice kid, but kinda low in self esteem.  Why?"  He came over to look.  "What is that?"

"I'm not sure."  He reran it.  "Xander found them in his town.  He mentioned them the other day online.  Apparently they're pissing him off."  He turned green in the last minute, having to turn away.

"BOSS!" Tony yelled.  He came jogging down the stairs.  "Come see this.  An online friend of McGee's found this in his town."   They got out the way.  "That looks like Army."

Gibbs ran it, frowning at it.  "Tell me this is one of his.... never mind.  That's not a game.  Games don't bleed that way when you cut an artery."

"No, things like that happen in his town," McGee said, finding his phone book. He called Xander.  "It's me.  We're looking at it."  He held his head.  "Can you wait?  No, I don't think it's good for you to wait that long, not with them taking a friend.  Boss?"

"That's partially Army, partially Marines."  He took the phone.  "What are they doing, kid?"  He listened, then nodded.  "Can you wait two days for help?"  His face tightened and he inhaled.  "No, I couldn't leave a friend with them either.  What else do you have?  Send it to him and I can get it to the right ears, kid.  What's your name?"  He smiled at the hang up.  "Who is he?"

"One of that town's protectors," McGee said quietly.  "I know someone who hacks in the Pentagon."

"Send it to them.  Let me have a copy of that."  Tim moved and copied it for him, letting him walk back up the stairs.  "Director, have a situation out of our area," he said quietly.  That got a nod so he led him over to a computer station. "Run this."  The tech ran it for them, letting him see.  "He said it's name is the Initiative.  He's sending more information over right now.  He's one of McGee's friends, sir.  What do you want us to do about it?  He said they've got a friend."

He looked at him.  "Give me an hour, Jethro.  Let me check into this."

"He's sending more information over now."

"Good.  We might need it."  He went to his office to make some calls and take something for his stomach.  Starting with his boss.  "Give me the Secretary of the Navy," he ordered as he walked past his secretary.  She nodded, dialing it for him while he found her stash of antacids.  Then he went into his office, shutting the doors.

***

Xander looked at the men who had captured him later that night.  "You must feel very manly behind that gun," he said dryly, smirking at them.  "Trust me, your little world domination problem is already known about."

"We stopped the data transfer, Mr. Harris," the general in front of him said.

"Really?  Because you know the guy I sent it to is an official government hacker."

"We don't employ people like that," he said smugly.

"You might not, but the FBI does."  The man laughed.  "You'll see."   The soldiers zapped him and he managed to not scream this time.  "All good things will come back on you," he panted, calming himself down.  "Like all the bad you're doing is coming.  Soon.  I'd party it up now."

"We can have you removed to a secret prison. Your friends will never find you."

"Again, you'd be surprised and what makes you think you'll keep me?"  He smiled. "I'm not the average stupid guy."

"That's not what your friends say," one snickered.

Xander looked at him.  "Yeah, well, if I listened to them it'd be different.  Since I don't and they don't know me very well.....  You draw the pretty picture."  He looked at the general again.  "You really should start shredding things now.  It'll make the later hunt more fun."

He leaned down.  "No one is coming for you or for the hostile," he sneered in his face.

Xander bit him, making him scream.  "Again, you'd be surprised.  By the way, tic tac?  You really should think about it."  The general stormed off, letting his guys have him.  At the end Xander was in pain but handling it well he thought.  He smiled when he heard the invasion alarm.  "Huh.  Visitors.  I wonder who that could be."

"They still won't save you," one soldier told him, pointing his gun at him.  "You have no worth to us."

Xander looked at him, then muttered a quiet spell to unlock his cuffs.  "Really?"  He grabbed a chain and hit him since he wasn't paying attention.  "We'll see."  He hit another one with the same chain the stole the guns and shot them both in the calf.  "I feel better now," he said with an evil smirk.  "Remember, I'm not Buffy.  I don't have to be nice.  I was never taught nice except by Willow."  He checked the hall, then snuck out, going to where they had his laptop.  He found it and his other things, shooting the people in their in the arms or legs, then he gathered things up.  "Thanks for this, guys.  Oooh, pretty."  He got a few other things and ejected all the tapes going on, packing them too.

Xander casually stuffed the extra guns in his backpack too, walking out with one in his hand.  He smiled at the guys demanding them to desist.  "Yes, they should."  Gibbs stared at him.  He waved the gun.  "There's some injured."  He turned and punched the one coming up behind him.  "Where is Oz?"  The man spluttered so he pointed the gun at his groin.  "I can and will, dude.  Not like I want you to breed more like you."  The man backed up so he fired between his feet.  "NOW!"   He stuttered something.  "Thank you.  Be right back."  He went to free Oz, shooting a few more scientists on the way.  He got the one holding Oz in the neck but oh well.  "They've got base medics I'm sure," he soothed, letting Oz go.  "C'mon.  We've got an escort out."  Oz nodded, leaning on him all the way out.  He paused at McGee, then handed over the tapes.  "Yours.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  Go somewhere we can depose you."

"Can't I blow them up?"

"That would be cruel to those they're holding hostage."

"I can release them if you want."

"No, that might be worse.  Go.  Now, guys."  Xander nodded, saluting him Klingon fashion, making him smile.  He watched them disappear into the elevator shaft.  He carried the tapes inside, handing them to Kate.  "Here, he found them taping things."

Gibbs looked at him.  "He done?"

"Yeah.  There might be more injured people as well."

"Oh well."  He clicked on his microphone.  "Lieutenant, I want that team in here now.  We do have injured thanks to an escaping set of people who were being tortured.  Hold this base.  We're in Op on the overlook."  He clicked off.

"Rodger, Gibbs.  ETA two minutes."  The power went off and the general started to swear.

"Um, boss, electronic locks?"

"They lock down automatically when the power shuts off, McGee."

"Okay, if you say so."  He heard a bellow.  "I'm not sure we're right, boss."

"Hold, Lieutenant.  We have hostages running around eating people," he called.

"Yes, sir, holding position.  Ummmmmm, is that a dog?"

"Probably not, Lieutenant."

"Damn.  Okay.  Injured beast, boys, drive it off!" he yelled, then the radio clicked off again.

Gibbs looked outside as a small blonde girl and the boy from earlier stomped up the hall with a set of flashlights.  "What are they doing?" he demanded.

"That's what they do around here for fun, Gibbs," Tony said quietly.  "I did a check on him.  They've been together now for about three years."  Xander looked up and gave the hand code for 'stay'.  "Huh.  He knows assault code."

"Yeah, there's a reason for that," McGee admitted.  He winced as the blonde girl took on something and it died.  "Wow.  That's got to be Buffy."  They all stared at him.  "It's her job, Gibbs.  He's her backup."  Another being got freed and helped them.  Then the boy did something wise and opened an exit with some explosives.  Most of the demons ran out.  Buffy turned and started to yell at him but he yelled back that he was not going to risk the good guys trying to solve things by getting them killed.  Then he stomped off again.  McGee came out.  "Xander."  He came up there, holding his ribs.  "You okay?"

"Bruised."  He saluted Gibbs.  "Sir.  He's said a lot of things about you, mostly good."

"Good to know.  Who are you?"

"Jeeves."

"His friend," he said with a smirk.

"Exactly."  Buffy stormed in.  "What?" he asked, looking at her.  "This is one of the guys I play online with, Buffy.  This is their job."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Everything but the super heavy section is clear.  You've got some too injured to move and that section."  He looked at the map.  "This one probably.  It's listed as orange."

Gibbs looked then called the Lieutenant back.  "Move, Lieutenant.  Expect to have some cells housing very injured beings and one security section it looks like from up here."

"Yes, sir, Agent Gibbs.  Coming in now.  Restoring power as well."  Power came back on and they rushed in.  He looked up.  "Sir, the hole in the wall?"

Xander leaned out.  "I let most of the bad things out so you wouldn't get eaten.  By the way I had to shoot some people to get out.  Down the hall and to the right there's one with a nick on their neck.  The rest are arms and leg injuries because I was feeling merciful."

"Gotcha, sir.  You are?"

"Harris.  One of the natives who got caught."

"Need a medic?"

"Bruised ribs, fat lip, a few other bruises.  I'm fine.  Check Spike, the blond guy panting.  He can't bite."  He walked back into the Ops center.  "Okay, now what?" he asked Gibbs.

"You didn't have to do this, Xander," Buffy complained.

He glared at her.  "They had a friend.  It's not like I was going to wait, Buffy.  I don't abandon my friends to be tortured."

"Really?" she said, glaring at him.  "Why do you stay around?  We don't want you."

"Fine, then you fix your own shit from now on," he sneered back.  "Have fun with that.  I know Giles can't fix a crossbow to save his own life.  Or the swords.  Or make new bolts.  You might be able to get new, but have fun with that."  She huffed off and he waved at her back.  "Have fun, dear."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "I'm out and have things stored somewhere safe but I'd rather head home to my ice packs."  He wrote down his address. "I'm there if you need more from me.  Just let me take some tylenol and a beer first please."  That got a nod.  "Thank you for saving me and Oz."  He walked off, heading home.  With a quick stop at Tara's dormroom.  Where he got to take his computer back from Willow.

"Thank you for screwing more things up.  Tara, I love you, you're welcome at my house whenever you want.  The two heathen bitches aren't.  Bring the kitty over."  He kissed her on the cheek and took back the other things he had found, including the extra gun she had put behind her out of the way.  "Thank you.  Not like you can use it."  He walked out, hiking to his house, holding his ribs.  A vampire ran up on him and he flicked the automatic switch, shooting at their neck until they dusted.  "Huh.  I knew it'd work."  The cop in the park gave him a horrified look.  "They had a friend," he said simply.  He went home, going to find a beer and some drugs.  They were taken before he checked the guns.  "Pretty," he said, putting them aside.  After he was successfully dulled he went to pack, coming back with everything else.  By the time he had everything packed and by the door, someone was knocking on his door.  "Open, Gibbs."  The door opened and he found Tony there.  "Hey.  He send you?"

"Yeah.  I need to confiscate the weapons, kid."  Xander pointed at the gear bag.  "Anything I shouldn't know about?"

"Probably.  Then again I've got the artillery settled in another spot."  Tony gave him a horrified look.  "Sometimes it's handy."

"I see."  He got the guns out, looking at them.  "Taser?"

"Yeah.  They'd taser you and then drag you in once they had you out.  It hurts like a bitch too."

"I'm sorry.  Want a ride to the ER?"

"Around here?" he snorted.  "Not a chance I want to die tonight.  I'm planning on hiding in plain sight."

Tony called.  "McGee, he's going to hide out of town."  He smiled.  "Kid, he said you're going to DC for a while to answer questions with the Pentagon.  They've got Buffy too."

"I'm sorry someone has to deal with her.  Tell her mother and Giles."

"Where can we find them?"  Xander handed over his cellphone so he read those off.  "Call them to let them know.  The first is listed as her mother, the second as someone named Giles."

"The group's mentor."

"The head of the group, Probie.  Yeah, I'm with him.  That'll work.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "You can come back with us."

"Sure.  If you're sure?"

"Gibbs said so.  He doesn't say things like that without being sure."

"I can do that."  He looked around then sighed.  "I should probably turn the artillery over to Giles but he'd never know how to use it."  He took his phone back, calling a number.  "Cordy, Xander.  I'm leaving Sunnydale for good.  Because we just stopped the military butting into our hunting by torturing things.  Like Spike, Cordy.  They're who got him.  Yup.  Nope, being escorted out of town so we can answer questions and I'm not coming back.  Didn't hear how Willow sold my identity and I nearly ended up on death row because of her?" he asked sarcastically.  "Yeah, it's all there.  Well, I do want some of it.  It's got some personal stuff still.  Give me a day then it's yours.  Yeah, I'll mail the key to you or give it to Giles.  Angel and he can fight over it.  By the way, Buffy's being dragged to DC with me for a few days.  Thanks, Cordy.  Talk to you soon."  He nodded and Tony followed, letting him lock his door.  He paused at his landlord's door.  "The black ops guys running around are gone," he said quietly.  "I'm going to have to go answer questions as to how.  I'm moving in about three days.  I'll leave the furniture."

"I'll see if you get back your deposit tonight, Harris."

"Thanks.  I'm going to tell the people with my gear to ship it."  That got a nod so they walked off.  "Sorry," he told Tony.

"Not an issue."  He watched Xander stake something and shuddered.  "You look very casual doing that."

"Three and a half years doing that nearly nightly," he said quietly.  "I'm more than ready to move on."  He got them into the storage area.  "Harv!  It's me.  I'm cleaning out and Cordelia can have it in a few days!" he called.  "I'm leaving stuff for her."

"Sure, Xander," a happy, high voice said from the office.  "I took one of the swords, man.  It's giggle worthy."

Xander ducked in to check.  "You can have that one.  Remember, necks cure most ills, man.  Happy highs."   He shook his hand and went to get into his storage area.  Tony gaped in horror when he opened it.  Xander looked at him.  "What?"

"How?" he squeaked.

Xander grinned.  "Wanna try that in a lower register?" he teased.

Tony moved him and took a picture with his phone, sending it to his boss.  "We'll have to confiscate some of this."

"Yeah but not all of it.  Not like you guys have a good use for battle axes."  He moved to his stored stuff, finding the boxes he wanted.  "Harv, can you call your brother!" he yelled.

"On his way with his truck, Xander."

"Thanks."  A truck pulled up and he waved, smiling.  "I'm leaving.  Going to DC."

"That's fine, kid.  I'll give it a few days before I ship stuff for you."  He helped him heft stuff out to his truck, looking at the stunned, staring other guy.  "Who's he?"

"One of the agents who came to stop the commando problem we had."

"Interesting.  Why you're going to DC?"

"They just saved my ass," Xander agreed.

"Good of them.  Buffy?"

"Heading for a few days."  He went back inside, going to separate out his favorite sword, battle axe, crossbow, and a few of the other guns.  Unloaded for now.  Tony took one to look at, then let him pack it.  "I know better than to pack loaded ones, Agent DiNozzo."

"Tony, Xander."

"Tony."  He grinned and saw Tony blink at him.  "You can help.  It's mostly ugly clothes."  He nodded, going to get that stuff.  He looked at the artillery but the box he went toward Tony pulled him away from.  "It'd be a nice present."

"I don't care if it is."  Xander opened the door and he gaped.  "We'll want to know how you got that. That's experimental."

"Of course it is.  It's got a nice range too but a bit heavy for field use at the moment."  He closed it and turned to find Gibbs there.  "Hi.  The swords have to stay for my ex."

"The modern military doesn't really play with swords."

"Pity.  You look very manly when you use one."  The guy helping him move laughed and so did Tony.  "You do."  He shrugged and got into his gun cabinet.  "Think I could sneak the rest or should I leave it for Cordy?  Yes, they're all legal before you ask."  He pulled down another one and unloaded it, packing it too.  Then one went into his back waistband.  "There."  He closed it and locked it again then turned to find Gibbs behind him.  "I'm their gear guy, Gibbs.  Giles won't use the artillery.  He and Angel can fight over the more arcane and magic books."

"You sure you want to leave them?" Gibbs asked.

"No but it might be necessary."

"Take them.  They can write," Tony suggested.

"Why would they?  They don't know I have them.  They don't like to pay attention to me, I'm useless to them."

"Useless guys can't amass fifty pieces of underworld artillery," Tony pointed out.

"True."  He grinned.  "You guys can have that stuff."

"Oh, we will be," Gibbs agreed, going to check them over.  "Is this what it says it is?"

"Was.  Had to use that one," Xander told him.  He opened the case.  "See?  That's a demon egg.  Won't hatch for months and then it's the basis for dragon rumors and legends."   He handed that to Tony.  "Here, hold my pet please."  He looked then pointed. "I think we used that one too.  The explosives are in the rocket launcher case.  We had a bit of a moisture problem so I had to repack it."  He got a moan from Gibbs and watched him go look.  He looked at Harv's brother.  "Thanks, man."  He nodded, heading off.  "I'll call in about three days."

"Sure, Xander.  Have fun in DC."

"I liked it when I visited," he said with a cheeky grin.  He saw a vampire lurking and pulled a crossbow out of the back of the truck, shooting him.  "I hate them.  There's no vampires in DC, right, Tony?"

Tony shook himself free.  "Only the politicians."  Gibbs gave him a look.  "What!  They are!"

"They're safe as long as they don't attack me," Xander said dryly.  They got things repacked into tighter bundles and the guy with the truck.  Xander walked Tony off, taking him back to his place.  The landlord was looking in his bags.  "Needed something?"  He held out a hand.  "Give it back."  The money and laptops were handed back. "Anything else?  And I will warn you I'm not going to do anything but that banishing potion in the fridge.  It'll hurt like hell before you're sent back to your own realm."  The demon shuddered and went to get the other things he had taken, handing it back even if it didn't belong to Xander.  "Thank you.  Do I get my deposit back?"  He wrote out a check.  "Thanks, man.  We're probably leaving in the morning.  I let his boss into my artillery collection since I won't need it anymore."

"Sure, Mr. Harris."  He went to hide in his apartment.

Tony carefully handed over the egg.  "When will it hatch?"

"When I undo the spell holding it like this."  He grinned and carefully packed it as well.  "There we go, Baby Fred."  He put the gun and crossbow in there too.  "There, that should work.  Too many bags?"

"No," he said, sitting down.  He called Gibbs.  "We're back at Harris' apartment, boss.  No, he's ready to go.  Need me?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  Are we taking military transport back?  Because he packed his guns he's bringing with him and a crossbow, plus his pet egg."  He looked at Xander.  "He said it had better not be anything that'll eat the city."

"Shouldn't for at least a few centuries."

"It's clear until after we're long dead, Gibbs."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  Yeah, call when you're ready to go.  Six bags.  Everything else is being mailed.  Thanks, boss.  Yeah, I'll guard this witness.  Let me know."  He hung up.  "It'll be a few hours.  We came over on a commercial flight.  Can't take prisoners back that way."

"There's a local Army Reserve base if you guys needed it."

"We might but we know.  We look at those first."  That got a nod.  "Got anything to drink?"

"Two beers and a two-liter."  He got him a glass and himself a beer.  "My second, don't fuss."

"As long as you don't get impaired."

"I've got alcoholic parents."

"Never mind.  You've got a tolerance."

"Unfortunately true."  He sipped it slowly.  "You okay?"

"A bit freaked out.  Those were demons?"

"Yeah, lots and lots of demons.  Most of them were harmless too.  Ooh, we might need a classification manual."  He stood up and Tony followed him out and up the road to the Magic Box.  He handed Giles his keys.  "I'm leaving.  I need a classification manual, Giles."

"Why give me your keys?"

"I'm not driving."

"Oh, I see.  Do you need it back?"

"If you don't want it, give it to Cordy.  She's coming up in a few days to handle the extra swords I've got.  You and Angel can argue over them," he said at the look he got.  "You got called?"

"I did."

"I'm going there too.   Do we have Oz safely away?"

"Safe enough.  He's on my couch."  He went to get him the books they most often worked from, handing them over.  "That should do you.  Washington isn't that big of a trouble spot but now and then things do come down from New York."  He smiled at Tony.  "Is he under arrest?"

"No, I'm guarding his back in case they come back."

"Oz said he was captured trying to save him," he said, staring Xander down.  "You could have waited."

"Buffy didn't want to go.  Why would I let a friend go to them when we know that they torture others.  By the way, they saved Spike too and I let most of the demons out to spare the rescuing personnel."

"I've heard.  Buffy called."

"I wasn't going to let them get eaten, Giles."

"I don't blame you for that, Xander.  Is there anything else we should know?"

"You'll need to find someone else to fix crossbows."  He took the three books.  "Thanks.  Need money for them?"

"No, we'll be fine without you, Xander.  Have a good life and do be safe.  Write now and then."  He smiled and waved as Xander and Tony walked off.  He shook his head.  "That boy does worry too much."

Xander looked at Tony halfway back.  "See?"

"I do.  No wonder you didn't go to college."

"I had more important things to do.  Speaking of, I've got to call my boss.  This way."  He walked up onto his boss's porch, tapping gently.  His boss frowned at him.  "I'm leaving. I've had enough of the brats.  I'll be gone by sign-in tomorrow."

"I'll mail your last check to your local PO Box.  You'll have it forwarded by then?"

"Yeah, I can do that.  I usually go through one of those mailbox places."  That got a smirk and a nod.  "I hope the house gets finished, man.  Thank you for hiring me."

"You're a good worker, Harris.  You can use me as a reference."  Xander smiled and nodded, walking Tony off.  He watched them go, then smiled.  "He makes a good boyfriend and it's good he's making his boy go to somewhere safer."  He closed the door, going back to his easy chair.  He called his site manager.  "Remind me tomorrow, Harris just popped around to say he's leaving town tonight."  He hung up and went back to his crappy reality show.

***

Xander came out of his second day of testimony, undoing the top two buttons on his shirt.  He pulled out his phone, turning it back on.  "Huh, voicemail."  He listened then he called.  "Hey, Speed, I'm not in Sunnydale.  I'm in DC, dude.  What happened?"  He smiled.  "No, I left right after the military had to come stop some of their own and I was there.   No, I'm kinda under testimony watch at the moment.  Sure, come on up.  I'm here. You can help me find a place to squat.  Let me know when you get here.  I'll have a couch or a corner of the bed for you."  He laughed, walking off.  "Sure.  See you then."  He hung up and looked around.  "Which way is out?" he asked someone.  They pointed.  "Thank you."  He walked off, trying to leave the Pentagon.  He was happier.  The board had agreed that the Initiative was a bad project with bad objectives and even worse methodology.  He was happy with that.  He heard Buffy stomping and got out of the way, getting a drink of water so she wouldn't see him.  It was good enough for now.  He saw Gibbs following but he did glance at him.  He shrugged.  "Like I know," he mouthed.  Gibbs shook his head but kept following.  Xander straightened up, finding his minder there.  "Hi.  Speed's on his way up."

"Who's he?"

"The guy from Miami who found out Willow sold my identity.  Nice guy, a CSI guy."

"Interesting.  C'mon.  Let's go back to your motel."

"Sure.  Then I'm going to find a new place to live.  Motels are expensive and I need something to do most days."

"Are you staying around here?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"Move outside the city.  It's expensive to live here and there's commuter rail for most of the surrounding areas."

"Okay.  I can look into that."  He grinned.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  You're not too bad.  Unlike your friend."  He frowned.

"She was a California Princess before then got handed her duty."

"No wonder."  He nodded once.  "This way, Xander."  He led him outside, driving him back to his motel for the night.  "So, this Speed guy another friend like McGee?"

"No, but I blew his mind and something else came up that edged on it.  He's taking a sanity break."

"I've had those.  Especially recently."

Xander patted him on the arm.  "I jumped in.  It could be a lot worse."

"If you say so."

"You could have staked things."

"No thanks.  That's worse."  He let him off.  "Call me if you run into trouble again."

"I will.  Have a good date."

"Thanks."  He grinned and pulled off once the kid was inside. He did need to go out and have fun tonight.  He really needed it.  But first he needed to go back to the office and finish his reports since Xander's testimony was now done.  He took the long way and pulled through somewhere for coffee, his boss would appreciate that.  By the time he got up there it was them and McGee.  He handed over the coffees.  "Xander's thinking about staying around here.  I told him to look outside the city due to prices."

"That would help," McGee agreed.  "Thanks for the coffee, Tony."

"Welcome.  Did Buffy go home?"

"I stuck her on a plane," Gibbs assured him.  "She'll be in LA tonight and her friends there can pick her up."

"Good."  He sat down to do his report.  "He's got a friend from Miami coming up.  Apparently he opened his eyes and now he needs a sanity vacation."

"I can see why," McGee complained.  "Was it always like this?"

Tony nodded.  "Yup.  We got to ignore it.  We probably will again.  Not a whole lot of them here.  Thankfully."

"Good," Gibbs agreed.  "Your report, DiNozzo?"

"Been doing it every day, boss.  Halfway done."  He got to work on it, typing quickly.  He'd proof it later for personal thoughts.  By the time he got done he was hungry again.  He handed it over.  "I'm going out."

"Have a good date," McGee said, smiling at him. "Xander's got his characters up so he's gaming tonight."

"Good for him."  He went out, going to think his heavy thoughts to the thump of a bass beat.  It would separate out the small, unimportant thoughts and by the end of the night he'd be laid and happier.  Though the one thing he had to think about was why Xander was starting to affect him.  He didn't usually go for guys.

***

Xander found his house.  It needed work.  It was tiny.  It had land and he could easily expand it with what he now knew about construction work.  He smiled at the agent, nodding.  "How much is the shack?"

"Are you *sure*, Mr. Harris?"

"Yeah, I've been working construction.  I can add to it when I need to think."

She sighed and let him sign the paperwork.  "All we have to do is decide how much you're offering.  I could probably get it reduced for you."

"Please do if you can.  Give the lowest I can."

She smiled.  "I can do that."  She went to call the owners, talking to them.  She talked them into taking a quarter of what they had wanted.  It wasn't her listing and there was no way this house was worth what it was listed for.  She came back with a smile.  "I got it for you for a steal."  He beamed and signed the last of the paperwork, calling his bank to do the money transfer.   Then they walked off together while he went to his motel to celebrate.  It was time for a good celebration.  A bit of fun and then ... well, there were girls for hire out here too.

***

Tony found where Xander had bought a few weeks later, going to check on him.  He was the unit's pet project and their guardee.  He found him on the roof and a new addition was framed and partially walled.  "Wow.  How much of this was original?"

"The stuff that's not framed," he said, laying down on the roof so he could look down at him.  "Another attack or did one of them make it out of jail?"

"No, they're all in a very nice mental home.  Need help?"

"Can you actually hammer in a nail?  Straight and all that?"

"I can try."

"I've got a nail gun.  Ladder's in the back."  He sat up and went back to his framing work.  There was going to be a storm tonight, he wanted a roof over the addition before it started.  Tony came up, jacket off, sleeves rolled up.  "Nail gun's pretty easy to use."

"These I have used before.  Abby, our lab tech, does Habitat for Humanity stuff and brought me a few times."  He looked at what Xander was doing then at him.  "I thought this stuff went up later in the construction."

"There's a bad storm coming tonight.  I want a roof."

"Might be a good idea," Tony agreed.   "This part of West Virginia has some really good storms thanks to the mountains.   It's still only an hour from DC.  It's a good area too.  How much was it?"

"I got it for just over a quarter of the asking price.  It needs some work."

"I can see that.  Will the original structure hold?"

"Oh, yeah.  I've already built the interior walls and fixed the floors.  This side will match the other side's new interior.   So I'll have a huge house for the cost of about land taxes."

"That's an excellent bargain and it does give you something to do."

"And hey, I can use it as a reference when I go for a job next spring."

"How are you living right now?" Tony asked.

Xander looked at him.  "Bad guys."

"You took the bad guys' money?"

"Yup, it crippled operations.  It was kinda fun too, watching them complain, squirm, and try to figure out who did it."  He grinned sweetly.  "It helped, a lot.  So I've got a bit of money saved.  It's a good thing and I don't do it often.  Though, I was going to ask Tim if he wanted me to do it again."

"That's illegal."

"Are you sure?"  He grinned.  "You guys do it."

"Yes, but we give it to the government."

"So do I, they just get it in taxes over a longer period of time."  He got back to work.  "Come on, I need a roof before it rains."

"Sure."  He got to work.  "Any other fixing you're doing soon?"

"I'm adding two bathrooms.  Four bedrooms.  A play room with computer outlets.  A really great kitchen even though I can't cook, and then I'm going to work on trying to attract someone who isn't a ho, like my prom date, or my last girlfriend, Cordelia, or the ones before them who tried to kill me."

Tony dropped the nail gun, staring at him.  "Excuse me?" he asked.

"Yeah, three tried to kill me.  Cordy tried to kill my spirit.  Anya tried to kill me with sex."

"Maybe.... um, not wanting to mention this but maybe you should think about boys?" he offered tentatively.

"Have thought about boys.  Boys can be nice but I have no idea what to do with boys except stare in awe at some very nice chests.  I haven't gotten beyond that and it'd have to be pretty rare.  They've got to be able to keep up with me and all that good stuff."

Tony grinned.  "I'll see if we can find you someone, Xander."  He picked up the nailgun and got back to work.  "Rain should start in a few hours."

"Don't remind me.  But hey, I can finish putting in the tub tonight.  I took the same amount as I paid for it to do the renovations.  It's a lot cheaper when you don't have to hire a crew."

"They say it is, but I'm not that good at this stuff."  Tony finished his section and moved up to the next bracing strip, getting to work on that section. "Can I have a tour?"

"Sure.  It'll be beautiful by spring."

"Thinking about flipping it?"

Xander grinned but shook his head.  "Nope.  I like it here.  It's wild enough for my wild instincts.  It's protected enough for the days I get paranoid.  There's things to do nearby.  I  do need a new car...."  He grinned.  "That can come later and cheaper."

"You've got room out here for animals too."

"I already live with one of those."

"Huh?" Tony asked, looking at him.

Xander looked at him.  "My first year with Buffy I got possessed by an animal spirit.  She likes the woods," he said quietly, then he got back to work.  "Before you ask, no I can't and probably won't ever get rid of her."

"What was it?"

"Hyena."

"So a pack creature," he said, thinking about that.  "Doesn't it make dating difficult?"

"Not really.  Most of the time she's satisfied as long as she's not surrounded by concrete.  As long as I'm happy and not having to hunt, she's taking a nap most of the time."

"That's good though, right?"

"Yeah, as long as she wakes back up if I need her."

Tony looked at him.  "It's not just her, Xander.  You have a lot of skills beyond what she taught you."

"I know," he agreed quietly.

Tony shifted over, tapping him on the head.  "Your friends need to be paddled for hours on end."

"It wasn't just them, Tony."

"I know.  Trust me, I know."  Xander frowned at him.  "Not like mine liked me.  They disowned me.  I started out in a very nice house in Long Island."  Xander frowned more.  "I was the sort of kid that Buffy would've been pushed to date," he said gently.  "I was a prince of the North East.  My dad's in banking."

"He disowned you because you weren't like him?"

"Yup," he agreed, grinning again.  "I was twelve."

"Can my dad beat up yours and then I gas him until he dies?"

"I wouldn't mind if your dad beat up mine and his bodyguard, but gassing him would be wrong."

"Why?"

Tony tipped his head, looking at him.  "I almost think you're serious," he said, smiling at the end.

"I am.  Why would it be wrong?  They're not helping anyone.  They're sucking up resources that better people could use.  They're making others miserable.  My mother makes drugs now and then in the basement.  They stole from me.  They tried to give me away a few times.  Why would it be so wrong?"

Tony stared at him for a minute. "Because if you do it to them where does it stop?"

"Vampires."

"You did vampires, Xander.  Them, demons, and defending yourself."  He shifted closer.  "You can't have them hurt."

"I don't want to have them hurt, I want to hurt them.  Standing there in front of them.  I don't want to hurt anyone else.  I don't want anyone else to be hurt."

"What about the other kids with parents as bad or worse than yours?"

"That should be their fun."

Tony reached over to pat him on the back, seeing the scared look.  "I'm not going to hurt you.  We'll talk about that tonight, okay?"

"Sure, but can I get a ride to get groceries?  I've got about crap for food.  I was going to partake of more pizza.  They're starting to know me very well.  The delivery guy likes what I'm doing."

Tony grinned.  "Sure, we can do that.  Does the kitchen work?"

"As long as the storm doesn't blow the fuses again."

"Did you replace them?"

"I'm waiting on a part to come in.  It'll be in early next week."

"Sure.  Now, let's get back to work so you don't ruin the other work."   They barely got the roof done before the rain started and Xander stayed long enough to nail down some plastic over the sides while Tony went to check the kitchen.  "This is nice," he said when Xander came in ruffling his hair to get the water out of it.  "This is really nice.  It's going to be great when it's done, Xander."

"Thank you.  I'm thinking pine."

Tony looked around then at him, shaking his head.  "Too old fashioned.  Especially with the marble and granite counter top you've got in."

"Really?"

"Really.  Sorta like that shirt you're wearing clashes with everything in here."  Xander shrugged and pulled it off, walking past him.  "Got catalogs?  Maybe pictures would help me see it better."

"In the drawer."

Tony went to the only drawer presently in place, opening it to find the catalogs.  "Have you already ordered them?"

"No.  They're coming in around Christmas."  He came back in sweats and still shirtless, but it was in his hands.  He leaned over Tony's arm, pointing.  "I was going for that look.  Eclectic."

"It certainly is."  He flipped a few pages.  "What about that one?"

"Too modern.  Too much metal."

"Okay."  Someone knocked hard on the door.  "Go get that."  Xander jogged out, squealing loud enough to make him look out to see who it was.  "Hi."

"Hi," the guy being smothered said, waving a hand.  "Let go, kid."

"Sorry.  You're late!"

"I nearly died twice on the interstate.  I took a few days off to watch the ocean."  He took the towel from around Xander's banister to do his own hair.  "I see you're updating."

"Yeah, it kinda needed it.  It was a steal though.  Very, very cheap.  The house and land plus the updating is less than most houses these days."  He led him into the kitchen.  "Tony DiNozzo, who works at NCIS with the gaming buddy I have, this is Tim Speedle, from Miami's crime lab.  We've been chatting on and off since he nearly arrested me for being me."

"Hey," Speed said, shaking his hand.  "Sorry about the water damage, but I ride a motorcycle."

"Is it under cover?" Tony asked.  "You're going to need a pail by the morning."

"Yeah, it's under a tarp beside the car."  He grinned at Xander then looked around. "This is looking nice.  Oak?"

"I was thinking pine."  He took the catalog to show him.  "That one."

Speed looked at him then shook his head.  "No, Xander."

"It's my kitchen."

Tony gave him a hug.  "But someday you may want to move somewhere else and that kitchen may keep it from selling, Xander."  He flipped.  "I liked that one but he didn't.  He said it had too much metal."

Speed flipped then landed on one.  "Here, very classical.  Greek influenced.  It'll go with the tub he said he still had to hook up."

"I'm doing that tonight.  All I have to do is hook in the faucet and shower head, then test the lines.  Let me do that so you can get warmed up, Tim."

"Speed, Xander."

"Okay, Speed then."  He went to do that, letting them talk about what his kitchen should be like.  He got finished and closed the panel in the surround holding up the tub, running into a set of legs.  He looked back, grinning at Tony.  "Am I fascinating?"

"In many ways," he agreed with a bright grin, showing him something.  "How about this one?"

Xander looked then at him.  "They look like they're cheap."

"They might be but the color of the wood would be harmonious."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "I don't cook that well."

"Xander, remember, even if you live here all your life, you'll eventually die some year and the house'll go to someone else.  Think about giving it a classical taste that others can cook in for you."

"I don't need a maid."

"I know that.  Still, think about some limited entertaining and things."

Xander looked at him.  "I don't know that many people."

"We'll be introducing you to others the longer you stay."

"Should I be scared?" Speed asked from the doorway.  "I relit the pilot on that ancient hot water heater."

"That's fine.  It's being replaced next week too," Xander assured him.   He took the book and flipped to another page, letting him see it.  "That?  Only in my colors?"

"That design is what you have.  I like your countertop but it means you can use a lighter wood and some limited metal accents."

"I don't want to go that modern."

"So let's visit the home place," Tony offered.  Xander frowned.  "Where are you getting things from?"

"I'm going online to order.  I find some great deals that way, even with shipping.  Let me finish this and I'll show you where I'm going for the cabinets."  He stood up and finished putting on the shower head, then tested it.  "Go turn on the water, please?"

"Where's the valve?" Tony asked.

"Beside the hot water heater."  Tony nodded, going to do that.   The water came on and the toilet started to leak.  He groaned.  "Caulk?"

"Huh?" Speed asked.

"Caulk, that stuff you use to stop leaks.  Not the thing it sounded like, Speed," he offered with a grin, reaching around him to grab it and moving to squat so he could seal that leak.  "We definitely need to fix that tonight.  This is the only working toilet in the house."

"Then we'll hit the home place," Tony said as he rejoined them.  "I think I can handle a few more hours of work."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure.  Speed?"

"I can help hold.  I'm not great at construction stuff."

"Cool."  Xander beamed.  "The only problem is that the construction account is online."

"Go to Home Depot-dot-com and buy a gift certificate, Xander."

"I guess I can do that.  Give me another two."  He finished up then led them down to where his computer was stashed.  "Let me log in."  He logged in, checking his bank account first.  Then he frowned.  "How did it grow by two grand?"  He checked on the deposit then snickered.  "Tim found that package and passed it on."  He logged onto the server that he needed, finding where he needed.  His online bank gave him a virtual credit card number for the transaction and it was good.  It printed.  "There.  Now what?"

"Shoes and a shirt, Xander.  As much as I enjoy the view, you can't go to Home Depot in just sweats," Speed said with a small smirk.  "Time to rejoin the rest of the world."  He gave him a swat as he walked past.

"Hey!  You're not one of the girls who tried to kill me, you can't spank me!"  He went up to put on a shirt and his sneakers.  He came back down to find the two guys staring at each other.  "Did I miss something?  You guys are looking at each other like Buffy does shoes... ooh!  Never mind.  Let me duck into the new addition and all that to check on it."  He went that way.

"I wasn't staring at him for that reason!" Speed called.

Tony grinned.  "You're cute and all but not at the moment."

"You do realize that we *really* need to get him away from women?" Speed asked, moving closer.

"I have," Tony agreed.  "I did a limited background check through a few people out there at the base and their PD."

"When the whole identity theft problem happened, I called out to their PD.  I told them what we had and they laughed that it could be Xander."

"I'm not surprised."  Tony shrugged.  "Xander?  Coming?"

"Aren't I the wrong person to ask that to?" he called back.

Tony hung his head with a moan.  "Xander!"

Speed looked over as the sheepish boy came back.  "Not interested in him that way.  We were talking about your exes."

"Why?"

"Because we've only run into a few females who wanted to kill."

"Some of mine were necessary to their survival," he offered.

"Still not of the good," Speed said.  "Tony, was that your car?"

"It sure was.  Let me make sure your bike's not in the way and bring it closer."  He went to do that.  Speed was cute with Xander.  They'd be cute together. He'd even help him see what normal relationships were like.  He came back to find Xander talking about his last girlfriend and Speed whimpering.  "That bad?"

"Yeah.  That bad," Speed said, walking Xander out to the car.  "Come on, while the rain's slowed down."

"Sure."  Xander made sure he had his wallet and the paper he'd need.

***

Tony limped into work Monday morning, glaring at McGee.  "I'm going to hurt you."

"Bad date?" he teased.

"Did he write you?"

"Xander only gave me the one picture of you in the mud.  Did you really slip that far?"

"I really nearly fell off the side of the house, Probie.  Got anything in your desk, I'm out."  McGee searched and tossed over a bottle of pain killers.  "Thanks."  He nodded at their boss when he came in.  "Xander's fixing his house up."

"Good.  Why are you standing like you sat on the pointy end of the rake?"

"I fell off the side of the house, and that was after I slid down the back yard in the mud and before we had to put the second shower into place."  He tossed back the pain killers and sat down with a sigh of pleasure.  "Can I sit for an hour, boss?"

"As long as you're doing something productive and we don't get a call."

"Thanks."  He turned on his computer, getting to work.  "Oh, he's got all three bathrooms done.  The new side is nearly finished being boarded so he can put on the siding this week, and then he's going to work on the inside and destroy the old outer wall on the original building."

"What did it look like before?" McGee asked.

"You remember seeing _Little House on the Prairie_ and those houses that looked like the moving company had only gotten half of it up?"  Tim nodded.  "Like that.  He's mirrored the new inside dimensions on the new side and then added a bigger second floor for more guest space."

"Interesting.  I'll have to pop out sometime soon to see how it's going."  Gibbs' phone rang and they both looked at him.

"All right.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Is Harris looting people?"

"Once upon a time he looted one of the bad people out there as he put it," Tony admitted.  "Why, boss?"

"The accounts for the Initiative were emptied."

"There's another hacker out in Sunnydale, boss," McGee offered.  Gibbs looked at him.  "Harris learned from watching Rosenburg."

"She's rated as a local annoyance hacker, boss," Tony told him.  "Doesn't seem to get much outside her town.  Mostly into the town's databases and things like that.  Hasn't even changed her grades."

"She's an 'A' student.  She won't have to, Tony," McGee said.  "Maybe Buffy's grades but not her own."

"Xander told me Buffy had been a California Princess before she got handed the job."

McGee hummed then nodded.  "Yup, she was."

"That does explain so much," Gibbs agreed.  "Do we have paperwork coming, gentlemen?"

"Nearly done, boss."  Tony finished his last sentence then checked it over before printing it and getting up, but he groaned and fell back down.  "Give me a few please."

"Go see Ducky."

"I'm fine, boss.  Just pulled a few muscles this weekend."

McGee typed something in and smiled.  "Give it ten minutes, Tony.  He said he's got something for that."

"Ducky does?" Gibbs asked.

"No, Xander does."

"How would he get it here?  He lives nearly an hour outside the city," Gibbs pointed out patiently.  A small fabric bundle appeared on McGee's desk.  "Uh-huh."

"Xander knows very little but he can do that with liniment and hide his weapons when necessary."  He got up and walked over the bundle, reading the note.  "He said the green stuff is for your back now, no heating pad or you'll burn, and then the blue stuff after a hot shower.  Drink the red stuff before you go to bed so you won't ache tonight and it should be fine in the morning."  He switched it out with the report, going to hand that in for him.  "There, my good deed of the week."

Tony looked at him.  "Thanks, Probie.  Boss, let me go apply some of this."  He took it into the bathroom, hobbling slowly that way.  It did heat up nearly immediately.  It was very strong smelling.  He straightened up after a few minutes and groaned less.  "Wow.  I might even want to know what's in this stuff."  He walked out, nearly looking like himself.  "This works really well."

"Good," Gibbs agreed.  "While you were getting stinky we got a call out."

"Sure, I can handle that."  He put the bundle into his desk drawer and locked it so he could grab his bag and follow them to the elevator.  "Do I really stink?"

"Yup," McGee agreed.

"I don't want to know what's in it with the way it smells," Gibbs agreed.

"Sorry, but tough.  I can move again."

"Which is the purpose of liniment," McGee agreed. "How long before he thinks he'll have it done?"

"This spring.  Then he's going to use it as a second reference to go back to work.  It's going to be a good size.  He's putting in four guest bedrooms, three baths; the master suite is great.  It's the same size as the kitchen plus a bathroom that I want to live in.  Speed joked he'd be staying the next time he came up if it stayed that good."  McGee smiled at that, walking toward the truck.  "Shotgun."

"As long as you roll down the window, DiNozzo," Gibbs said patiently, heading that way.

"Hey, boss, when is Kate due back?" McGee asked.

"Another week."

"Can we introduce her to Xander since he likes tough women?" Tony asked.  Tim gave him the strangest look.  "I'm sure you've heard about the others he dated."

"Yes, and how they all wanted to kill him.  I'd miss Kate if we had to put her in jail."

Gibbs looked at both of them.  "Please tell me you're kidding?"  He got in to drive, slamming the door.  The boys got in the other side and Tony did obediently roll down the window.

"Nope," the boys said together. McGee even shook his head.

"Wish I was, boss," Tony said, grinning at him.  "Even worse than mine."

Gibbs moaned but started the truck and backed out of the parking spot.  "Kate's not allowed to date him," he ordered, putting the car in forward and heading off.  "Ever."

"Sure, boss," they agreed.

"But she can still mother him, right?" Tony asked.  "It'll be good practice for her."

"If she wants to, as long as she doesn't date him."

"I'll write her tonight.  Xander needs to know that not all girls are like Willow and Buffy.  Or Cordelia and Anya."

"Did I meet those two?" Gibbs asked, hitting the main street and speeding up to his usual rate of travel, which made Tony grab onto the bar over his door.

"Cordelia was the one who came up to get the rest of his weapons, boss," Tony told him.  "Anya was his last girlfriend, the nympho former demon.  Cordelia was the one he dated before her, the mean cheerleader."

"Is the boy gay?"

"We're trying very hard," Tony assured him.  "It'd be better for him."

McGee looked at him.  "You two would make a very cute couple," he said with a grin.

"He and Speed make a cuter one."

"I didn't meet him so I can't judge that but you and Xander are very cute together.  I saw  you guys at the bookstore getting cookbooks."

"The kid can't cook that well yet.  It'll give him something to do after he finishes putting in the kitchen we made him want to put in.  He wanted pine and it really would've looked off.  So Tim and I made him go with our choice."

Gibbs glanced over at him.  "Don't ask, don't tell," he said simply.

"Boss, if he were mine you'd never hear about it," he said plainly.

"Good to know."  He turned a corner, shaking his head.  He could see a lot of use for that kid.  He had learned to appreciate how the kid jumped in within a few days of meeting him.  He still couldn't see his womanizing agent getting with the kid and not hurting him, which would piss off McGee and then they'd have an inter-team war going on.  Which he would not allow.  Maybe Kate was the better alternative.

***

Speed looked around the house Tuesday morning then at Xander, who was napping on the couch.  "Why didn't you make it to bed?" he asked when the boy finally got up.  Watching him have nightmares had been a bit fascinating.

Xander yawned.  "Did, got up to wander."  He sat up, looking at his buddy.  "How did you sleep?"

"Better than you did.  What's with the nightmares?"

"Post combat stuff.  Not a big."

"Bull."

Xander shrugged then stood up.  "Come on, I hear food calling."

"That's because I made breakfast so you can't undercook the bacon this time," he teased.  Xander grinned back, following him to the food.  "We should be able to finish the siding today.  Hopefully before it starts raining this afternoon."

Xander grinned.  "Aren't you supposed to be on vacation?"

"I am.  It's not like I do this at work.  Besides, tomorrow's supposed to be a gorgeous day so we can go to the beach and play then.  Good for you?"

"Very good for me.  I haven't been yet."  Speed grinned back.  "I know, I've been making myself a home though."  He dished himself up some food, letting Speed have the bigger portion, even though it ended up back on his plate.  "I'm not that growing of a boy."

"You work hard, you need the food."

"I'm getting pudgy."

"Those are muscles, Xander, not fat."  He patted him on the head, then wiped off his hand.  "Someone's sweaty.  Want to talk about it?"  Xander shook his head before taking his first bite.  "Okay."  He dug in too.  "Cordelia called before you woke up.  I told her to call back in three hours."

"That'll be a good time for a break," he agreed.  "Was she babbling, excited, or 'oh shit the world's going to end tomorrow, thought I'd let you know' when she called?"

"She sounded a bit morose.  Like she wanted to talk.  I joked and told her I was your construction crew."

"I'll put in my earbud while I work then."  He finished up and kissed Speed on the cheek.  "You're the best construction crew I've ever worked with."  He went to find his phone and take a shower.   By the time he came back down, the dishwasher was running, Cordelia was babbling in his ear about Wesley, and he was ready to finish putting the siding on the house.  "I know, Cordy.  No, I'm working.  Yup, with Speed.  He's from Miami.  Why?"  He rolled his eyes.  "I know.  Yes, he is cute before you ask. Why?"  He snickered.  "It's been suggested after some of my new friends found out about my past dating history.  They thought it'd be safer if I never dated you again, Cordy."  He smirked.  "Yup, that's why.  Anything else going on?  DC.  I stayed after the Pentagon hearings.  Because I got to leave hunting and I'm working on my own house?" he admitted.  "Speed's a friend up on a vacation.  I didn't *make* him work for his vacation.  He volunteered.  He fusses very well, nearly as well as Joyce does."  He grinned at Speed.  "She wants to have the shovel talk with you."

Speed took the phone, unplugging the hands free set to talk to her.  "Cordelia, what makes you think that I wouldn't be having it with you if that assumption was correct?"  He listened to her splutter.  "Because I heard what you two went through, dear, and how you were afterward.  Actually, Rosenburg told me.  She hunted me down since she found my card in Xander's things.   No, that would be *after* I nearly had to arrest him for her selling his identity."  He looked at Xander.  "Is Willow still being punished?"

"Unless she managed to remove the 'absolute truth and only the truth' curse I had put on her, yup."

"He said he cursed her like a Jim Carey movie."  He listened to her cackle.  "Anything else?  We're doing siding and then we're going to work on the master bedroom so it's got finished walls."

"I thought it did," Xander said, looking confused.  "They need painted...."  Tim nodded.  "Okay."

Speed listened to her babble.  "Cordelia, Tony and I got to railroad him about his kitchen choices last night," he said blandly.  She paused then said something very quietly and hung up.  "I think she'll call back later."  He tossed back the phone with a wink.  "It'll be fine."

"I hope so.  She's working with Angel."  He got back to work, phone in his pocket.  At least until it rang. "What?" he asked patiently.  "No, that was not me.  I did not drain their funds.  Did they maybe drain their own funds?  There could have been officers missing."  He snickered.  "If I did, I would be doing some grand things with my home, lady.  It wasn't me.  Ask Rosenburg.  She's out there and did the data dump for your guys."  He hung up and looked at his buddy.  "Someone stole the Initiative's remaining money."

"Pity.   Hopefully it went to one of the victims."

"Yeah, I hope so."  He got back to work, plugging back in his hands free headset when it rang again.  "Harris."  He listened.  "No, Cordelia.   We're going to the beach tomorrow.  I'll remember that.  Why?"  He blinked a few times.  "What?"  She repeated it.  "Uh-huh.  Hey, Speed, she said that Willow's about to go puff into cloud of logic.  She wanted you to know that."

"Does that mean she's going into hiding after screwing something else up?"

"Possibly.  Cordy said that Angel had to fight Dracula, who was a nancy tosser to use a Spikism, when he showed up in LA trying to be so big and bad.  Hey, Cordy, did you get to eat bugs too?"  She spluttered.  "Oh, well.  Any other news?"  He smirked.  "Really?  I'll let someone know that.  Thanks, dear.  Of course I'm here, just putting up siding."  He hung up and called McGee's phone.  Then Tony's when it didn't ring.  "It's me.  Can you tell ELV over there that Willow did hack the Initiative?  They made her, they had Tara hostage until she did, so Willow did it for them then stole it from them and is going into hiding with it and Tara to protect themselves?  Thanks."  He hung up and got back to work.  "That'll hopefully solve that problem."

"I thought they were all in jail."

"Some could've been on leave and they didn't get all the people who ordered it.  A few of the scientists and those sort."

"Wow.  Tara okay?  I remember you said she's very sweet."

"She is.  She's perfectly fine, just hiding from everyone at the moment.  Buffy's apparently mad and ready to stomp on someone because this means she's got to do all the work herself and write her own papers."

"I finished my forensics stuff in a year, two years of college in one.  I'm sure she can do it in the normal time."

"No time to study while hunting."

"So that's what happened to your grades in high school."

"No, that was the school system.  I sucked in school."  Xander hammered in his next nail then grabbed the next piece.  "Ready?"

"One more hit," Tim offered, banging in his last nail.  They put up the next piece of siding and started to hang it.  "So, have you really thought about dating?"

"I have, and dating guys since you guys keep trying to make me gay."

"Make you gay?  Or make you want to be gay?" he taunted.

Xander looked at him.  "Don't know yet, Speed, you wear baggy clothes," he quipped back with an evil smirk.

"Been there before?"

"Thoughts.  A few pornos with two guy threesomes."

Tim looked at him then snickered.  "It's different, Xander."

"Some day I'll find that out I'm sure.  Otherwise I might end up dating my prom date again."

"Nymphos are bad for you."

"I know that, now."

"Yes, going out with one is a good way to learn that lesson," he agreed happily.  "By the way, she came to Miami.  She's dating one of my coworkers.  She said she traced where you went and followed you to jump you some more when Eric asked.  Eric...well, he's not walking right the last time I saw him.  She apparently threw his back."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Xander quipped.  Speed snickered and nodded.  "Now, what shall we do today after we get this done?"

"Paint your bedroom."

"We could run wiring."

"We can do that tonight.  Let's paint the bedroom and then make sure your bathroom is finished.  Then we can move on to start finishing other rooms in the old portion of the house."

"Okay, we can do that.  Then come back to this side."

"That'll work.  That way you're comfortable while you finish up this side."  Xander nodded and they got back to work.  It wasn't too much more to get done.

***

Tony knocked then opened the front door to Xander's house, leaning in a few days later.  "Guys?" he called.

"New side," Speed called.

"You're still here?"  He walked that way, leaving the door open.  "Hey.  Xander, can we hide out in your woods with a witness?"

"There's a small trailer out there but I'm not sure it's habitable."

"That'll work.  Keys?"  Xander shrugged. "Okay, where is it?"

"Let me finish this."  He finishing running the last of the wire then dusted off his hands.  "Be right back, Speed, take a break."  He walked out the back door with him.  "Front door's open?"

"Gibbs is out front."  He called.  "He said there's some sort of trailer out there, boss, we're going to check it out now."  He hung up and jogged to catch up.  "So, he's still here?"

"Yeah, he doesn't go back until this weekend."

Tony grinned at him.  "Good.  It's good you've got people out here with you."  He gave him a nudge.  "We don't want you to become a scary hermit."

Xander grinned.  "Can't happen.  I'm a social person.  I need people around now and then."  He looked back then broke a twig noticeably.  "In case he gets lost."   He led him through the woods, finding the old trailer.  "Like I said, I haven't done more than look at it."

Tony looked in one grimy window.  "Doesn't look too bad."  He tried the door then broke the lock.  "Federal agents," he called as he did it.  "So what happened to the last owners of the house anyway?"

"They built the old house as a temporary thing.  They were planning on making this a farm.  The husband didn't agree so he left after a few months and she divorced him for wimping out on her dream but couldn't keep going herself.  Her daughter sold it after she got sick."  He moved Tony and broke the door open.  "There you go."

"Thanks."  He looked around before carefully stepping inside.  "This is still in good condition.  No obvious animal signs."

"I've got bug spray at the house.  We had a few days of roaches before I bombed the entire house.  He called Speed.  "Hand Gibbs the bug stuff from under the sink please?"  He grinned.  "That's fine.  Tell him it looks like it's in good condition and it's clear no one's lived here for a while with the dust that's built up."  He hung up.  "He'll bring it out."

"That's cool."  He came out.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Xander."

Xander beamed.  "You know I like your team.  Of course I'll pay you guys back for saving my ass."  He gave him a hug.  "There.  I feel better now."  He grinned.  "I'm going to go back to putting in outlets."  He jogged off, leaving him there.

Tony knew he had a sappy grin on his face but he still went back inside to look around.  By the look on Gibbs' face when he came out he still had the sappy grin on his face.  "We should be okay. There's a weak spot in the floor back by the bedroom but otherwise it seems okay.  It's even got a camp stove if we can find fuel.  Could probably be cleaned though."

"This looks like someone moved it out here to hunt with," Gibbs said, letting their witness inside.  He watched her grimace.  "Best I can do."  He came to look around.  "Interesting. Is it still on his land?"

"Yeah, he owns to the stream.  We checked behind his back."

Gibbs looked at him.  "I'm sure he'll be fine, DiNozzo.  Spray for things."  He handed over the bug sprays and mouse traps.  He went to look for signs of ownership, just in case someone complained, but what he found was newspaper clippings.  He glanced over them then frowned and went deeper into the small desk's drawers.  "What?"

"Would that have anything to do with the skull that came up when it rained really hard last week?" Tony asked.

"Possibly.  Clippings about a murder."  He let DiNozzo see them.  "Check on that when you head up there to poach food."

"Sure, I can do that.  Or maybe Speed could come out with some," he said with a small nod outside.  Gibbs looked and smiled.  "I'm sure he's sat on stakeouts before."

"A few times," Speed agreed, handing over the picnic basket.  "Thankfully I don't have to do too much of that as a CSI."  Gibbs handed over one of the clippings so he shrugged.  "We called the local cops out when the skull drifted out to meet us one day.  I didn't follow up."

"I'll talk to them in a bit."  Tony peeked in the basket then he grinned.  "Tried to make Xander eat real food?"

"Yup.  Didn't fully work so that's leftovers of dinner and yesterday's lunch.  Plus some stuff for sandwiches and Xander's camping lantern.  If you need anything else I can run out on the bike."  He handed back the paper and grinned at Gibbs.  "What did you think?"

"I think the new side is a bit smaller."

"He's destroying the old outer walls since he's built new ones inside," Tony told him.  "He built it to mirror the new interior."

"Then it's looking good, guys.  Good job."  They both smiled at that.  "How long are you up for, Speed?"

"Another week then I've got to go back to Miami.  Which means I've got to leave Thursday."

"He'll pout," Tony told him.

Speed nodded.  "He might.  H needs me back though."  He smiled at their witness.  "Hey.  Tim Speedle, CSI out of Miami-Dade."  He looked at Gibbs again.  "Did you get the call about the Initiative money?"

"We did.  We also talked to Willow, who gave the money she stole back to the government, all but a small bit."

"Yeah, we heard.  Oh, Tony, he wanted to know about some stuff that he got sent from LA.  He was going to sell it.  I don't think he should."

"More artillery?" he joked.

"Yup."  He walked off happier with the flustered look on Gibbs' face.  He walked into the house.  "Xander, Tony'll be down later to help you deal with the stuff you got sent from LA."

"Sure."  He leaned out of the downstairs bathroom.  "We've got a small leak in here."

"Again?"  Xander nodded, going back to fixing it.  Speed went back to playing with the wires for him.  It was a good vacation, even if he wasn't on a beach staring at butts bouncing.  Xander jogged past to get his phone, making him smile.  "Or maybe just one butt," he muttered to himself, getting back to work.

***

Xander smiled at Speed as he came down the stairs that night.   "I thought I'd attempt dinner tonight."

Speed sniffed then smiled at him.  "I thought you couldn't cook."

"I can't cook much.  I prefer the microwave.  Cooking for myself means I make way too much."  He went back to stirring the soup.  "It's canned."

"That's fine."   He looked at the table, it was set.  It was a nice looking dinner.  He shifted closer to Xander, wrapping an arm around his waist slowly.  Xander grinned at him so he moved behind him, resting his chin on his shoulder, both hands around his waist.  "This is very nice," he said quietly.

"I thought it was."  He grinned shyly.

Speed nuzzled the back of his neck.  "Whatever you want, Xander.  It's not a problem that you've only seen it done on film."  Xander turned, taking a kiss.  "Hmm, andes mints?" he teased.

"Yeah, I was nibbling before you came down."

Speed grinned and kissed him again.  "You're supposed to nibble while you eat.  That's how you know you're doing it right."  He kissed him again then heard footsteps.  "Someone's here."

"I'm not ashamed."

"Good."  He grinned at McGee when he knocked then leaned in.  "What's up?"

"Is there any more camping fuel for the lantern and can we bum some water?"

"Sure," Xander agreed.  Speed let him go so he could walk out to the storage area.  He found the spare batteries and camp stove fuel, handing it back.  Then he found his backpack.  "That'll probably help too.  You'll have to rinse out the canteens."  He handed that over and came back out.  "How's that?"

"That'll definitely help.  Thanks, Xander."  He went into the kitchen to rinse out the canteens, smiling at Speed.  "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"It's all right."

Tim smiled and filled up the canteens, then added a few bottles of water and juice, plus the stuff Speed had pulled out for him.  "Thanks.  We'll be here tomorrow but we should have it fixed by tomorrow night."  He headed back, everything stuffed into the backpack.  He saw Xander close the door and Speed kiss him.  They were *very* cute together.  He found the trailer a few minutes later, after having started out not going far enough before turning into the woods.  "Here, stuff Xander found in his camping stuff for me.  There's some water and juice plus some canteens of water, boss.  Speed gave us a bit more food too."

Gibbs took the backpack, unpacking it in the small kitchen.  "He was clearly a boy scout."

"Nope," Tony called.  "He camped to get away from his parents."

"That'll work too."  He kept going down to see what else was in there.  He came up with the usual multi-purpose knife, the rope, the space blanket that compacted into a small silver envelope.  A few maps of Sunnydale that probably came in handy.  He found the bag at the bottom, pulling it out to open it, then he walked up to the house.  He tapped and Speed opened the door.  "Xander?" he called.  He came out frowning.  He held up the bag.  "What is this?"

Xander looked then at him.  "Camping supplies."

"It's plastic explosive."

"Yeah, and a timer cord and a battery.   In case of a cave-in after an earthquake, Gibbs.  I'm really happy that my mother didn't find it to try to make drugs with again.  She does that now and then when she's really drunk and wants to get high.  Usually she nearly blows the house up."  He handed back the bag.  "It's really practical."

"Uh-huh.  Where's the stuff you got sent this time?"

Xander led him out to small storage house, letting him see inside on the shelves.  "That stuff.  There's a few other things in the study too."

He looked then sighed.  "They're technically so old they're not illegal to own."

"I don't think I need a bazooka anymore," Xander admitted.  "I haven't met the local area's hunter so I can't pass them on and I was wondering if you knew someone legal who would like them."  Gibbs looked at him.  "Not like I want to sell them to bad guys.  I'll get in trouble."

"Good point.  Let me think.  Let's look at the other stuff."  Xander led him into the study and the closet in there, letting him see the nice racks of guns that were set up in front of the swords and how the crossbows were hanging off the bottom of the shelf.  On top of the sword racks were a few more cases plus Xander pulled some from under the couches and from behind the desk.  Then he uncovered another thing he thought had been a wall in progress but it turned out to be a stack of RPG missiles.  Gibbs nearly whimpered.  "How did your friends in LA get this stuff?"

"A demon was trafficking and they stopped him.  This was stuff they couldn't use and Sunnydale couldn't use."

"Cover those.  I'll talk to someone tonight."  He walked off, heading back to the trailer to calm down.  "DiNozzo, your friend is very matter of fact about the artillery laying around the house."

Tony looked at him.  "His past taught him artillery is good, Gibbs.  What did you expect?  Him to freak?"

"He has RPG missiles."

"Yeah, but no launcher.  We confiscated it back in Sunnydale, boss."

"Good," he said, smiling at that.

***

Tony walked in the next morning, finding Xander making coffee.  "Can I make a pot after you're done?  Gibbs is a grump without coffee?"

Xander grinned.  "Sure."

"So, I heard Probie saying it was a *good* dinner?"

"It was a great dinner," Xander said with a bright, beaming smile.  And a small blush to accent it.  "Speed's still in bed."

"Make him breakfast."

"That's what I'm doing."  He poured his coffee into the pot he was using, leaving the rest for Tony.  The rest of breakfast came out of the fridge and he winked before walking the tray up there.  "Morning," he said at the sleepy man staring at him.  "Breakfast?"

"Breakfast is nice."  He pushed himself up and took the tray, letting it have Xander's side of the bed since Xander was crawling into his side.  "Cuddly?"

"Always."  Speed smiled and took a kiss.  "I made you coffee and muffins."

"I can see that."  He took another kiss.  "We should still have a short talk."

"Drink the coffee, Speed, it should be self-evident I'm leaving if we're together up to you."

"Okay.  That solves that talk."  He poured them both coffee, sipping his.  "Mmm.  The good stuff."   He drank his next sip slower, savoring it.  Xander finished his first and kissed his chest, playing with a spot he had found last night.  "Food then play, Xander."

"If I must."  He buttered one of the mini-muffins and fed it to him, getting a smile.  "That's a warming pot."

"Good thing."  The food got put beside the bed and Speed let Xander pounce him.  There was nothing better than breakfast after good sex.  And with Xander it was good sex.  He was very creative and willing to try nearly anything with him.  It was a lot of fun teaching him what to do.  By the time they were both sated and tired, the coffee was still mostly warm, the muffins were back up to room temperature, and Xander let him feed him a few bites too before he fell asleep in the middle of Speed's chest.  He stroked over his hair, smiling down at him.   He could learn to love the guy really easily.  He couldn't understand why women couldn't see how great of a guy he was. Or maybe it was his former dating pool.  It had been heavy in demons.  Maybe it was their fault.  He heard a noise on the stairs.  "Busy," he called.

Tony leaned in.  "I'm not surprised.  There's a Feeb here to see where he got the weapons from.  It reached the wrong ears."

"The shipping?"

"No, there's no record of them being shipped and this guy's not going to believe in the transportation stuff without it being shown to him."  Xander lifted his head up, blinking slowly at him.  "Someone's here about the demon the LA crew found trafficking."

"The report's on my computer in the den."  He got up and stole a kiss and another muffin before grabbing his robe.  He didn't want the agent to get too excited to see him.  He walked into the study, noticing he was looking at the boxes of missiles.  He grunted at him, getting into his computer to find the report Angel had sent with the boxes.  He printed it out, giving it to him, then grunted again.

"What's this?"

"That's Xander speak for 'that's what they sent with the stuff'," Tony translated.

"How did it get here, Mr. Harris?  There are rules about interstate transport of weapons.  Especially the illegal ones."  Xander blinked at him then looked at something and floated it over to the agent, who stared in horror.  "How...."  He grabbed it to check over.  No wires.  No strings.  Nothing that had held it up.  "Do that again!" he demanded.

"I'm not a birthday party magician."   He floated it again for him.  That way he could check it over all he wanted until Xander let it drop.  "I'm tired and going back to bed now.  You can wait an hour or go talk to Gibbs.  He got the last stuff I found lying around Sunnydale."  The man went pale and he nodded. "I was one of the defenders.  They didn't need this and the LA crew didn't need this stuff."

"You know Angel?"

"I worked with Angel and Cordelia back in Sunnydale.  Actually, I used to date Cordy.  I promise I won't sell it to anyone but other gun collectors.  Tony would get mad and pout at me."  He walked off.  "You can take him out there, Tony.  That way he can calm down while I finish sleeping it off."

"Sure, Xander."  He took him that way, letting Gibbs have him as well as the gun he was still clutching to his chest.  "Xander floated it for him."

"Interesting.  Beats seeing demons tortured," Gibbs said dryly, taking the new pot of coffee.  "Thanks, DiNozzo."

"Welcome, boss."  He looked at the agent, sitting him down.  "Okay, now what?"

"They floated them across the country?" the agent asked.

"No, they teleported them across the country," Tony said dryly.  "The same way he did some liniment for my back when I got hurt helping him with the house construction."  The agent whimpered.  "Boss?  Call Fornell for him?"  That got a louder whimper.  "Also, Xander's napping it off."

"What off?" he asked.

"I think his morning infusion of Speedle, boss," he said, giving him a look.

Gibbs smirked.  "Good for them.  You going to throw a girly fit because he's taking your buddy?"

"No.  Why would I?"

"You looked jealous last night," McGee said helpfully.

"I did not!  Besides, I like women.  I think I've proved that fairly often, guys."

McGee looked at him.  "Tony, don't even.  If Xander were a girl you would *never* help them build their home.  Arrange the house maybe but not *build* the house, getting sweaty while they build the house.  Putting yourself in danger on the roof helping build the home."

"I do for friends that I don't do for girls, McGee," he said patiently, glaring at him.

"So if I need help with the boat, I can call?" Gibbs asked, giving him a look.

"Sure.  I don't know much about boat building but I'll come hold and tap in nails like I did up there."

"Good to know," Gibbs said.  He called Fornell.  "It's Gibbs.  I'm here with your very stunned agent.  Mr. Harris got a delivery from LA's defense team.  I know you were there during the hearings, Fornell.  He got some from a demon trafficking weapons.  He's willing to give over anything illegal but it's all old stuff.  He was thinking a collector.  We're here with a witness and your agent going witless."  He listened then nodded.  "We're here, Harris is napping off his night's dinner with a friend.  He's being cooperative, he claims he wants to be a good guy."

"He's been a good guy, Gibbs.  Otherwise he would've ignored everything in Sunnydale."

"Point."  He listened to Fornell then looked at the agent.  He reached over and smacked him on the head.  "Fornell said to straighten up."

"Yes, sir."  He took the phone.  "Sir, they floated a gun at me," he said quietly.

"He's still clutching it, Fornell," Tony called.

The agent glared at him.  "I am not."  Tony nodded at the gun so he looked then put it carefully aside.  "I was in shock."

"Of course you were," Gibbs agreed.  "Tell him we're out in the woods.  I'll have McGee waiting by the driveway."  McGee got up and walked out.  The agent hung up and headed out after Gibbs got his phone back.  He looked at Tony.  "You sure we won't have a girly fit?"

"Yeah, I'm sure, boss.  I can't be jealous of Speedle."

"Is that because you want him too?" their witness asked.  Tony glared at her so she went back to the bedroom area.

"It's a legitimate question."

"I might like the kid but he's taken.  I don't poach."

"Fine.  I like that.  If you do, I don't want details."

"Not an issue, boss.  I don't share good details of any other liaison either."  He walked outside to look around the trailer.

Gibbs shook his head.  Sometimes he wondered about that kid.  Hopefully Kate would be back soon so he could have backup dealing with this crazy situation.

***

Xander walked into Tony's unit about seven days after they had left his house, putting something in front of Tim.   "This got given to my attention," he said quietly.  "Reagan sent it to me."

Tim looked at it then at him.  "That would be dangerous."

"Which is why Reagan's hiding for his life."  He grimaced and looked around.  "That account wasn't revealed but the cops have him out there.  He asked that I hide it so they can't start up again.  So I'm having the ethical quandary moment.  I can get it from him.  It's not that hard.  The cops out there told him they don't want it.  Apparently there's some politics out there as well."

Tim looked it over again then looked at him.  "It's tempting."

"Reagan said that the guy got his sister hooked, Tim.  I don't know why the cops out there don't want it."

"I can call."

"You can't call.  He's in protective custody somewhere.  They're not letting him near anything electronic.  I don't know what to do.  I'm willing to hide it for him.  The same as Willow got the Initiative again.  They had restarted somehow with the hidden people.  Didn't work very well since she's been watching out for them to come back.  She sent it to me via email."  He unfolded that paper and handed it over to Gibbs since he was walking in.  "From Rosenburg."  He looked at Tim again.  "Is that really bad?"

"Probably but helpful.  I'm wondering why the cops out there don't want to confiscate it."  Xander flipped over the paper.  "You did a background on who it was?"

"Yeah.  I thought it might be why.  I didn't see why or any direct connections."

Tony came over, taking the paper to read both sides of.  Then he looked at Xander.  "Can you hide it and not touch it?"

"I can but I'm worried since the cops out there don't want it.  That smacks of trying to catch more hackers."

"It might be.  Let me get someone to call out there first.  I have a few contacts in the PD.  They might know something about this group."

"Okay.  I told him I'd go for it by tonight or pass it on by then.  I have the account code but I'm not sure if it's a good thing or not."

"Let's see," Tony agreed, going to his desk.  "What're you doing for lunch, Xander?  Our other coworker is finally back from injury leave.  She broke her ankle skiing."

"Why do people ski?" he asked, looking confused.

"This winter we can figure that out," McGee said happily.

"Okay."  He shrugged. "That's why I came up.  That and Willow's thing."

"It's a good thing to ask," Tony assured him.  "Boss, how restarted were they?"

"They've rented a compound.  They've rented equipment.  It looks like they're searching for hunters."  Gibbs handed it to Xander, who handed it to Tony.  "Take that from her if you can, Xander."

"Already done that, Gibbs.  I've hidden it from everyone.  Do you guys want this too?"

"We'll talk about that," Gibbs told him.  "Kate, this is Xander," he said when she walked in and sat down.  "He's a friend Tony met in Sunnydale."

She nodded and waved.  "Hi, Xander."

"Hi."  He grinned at her.  "I'm kinda harmless most of the time but the same case is trying to come back and a hacker I know was helping by stealing their money so they couldn't restart."

"Interesting.  Where is it?"

"Hidden from her."  He looked at Tony again, shrugging a bit.  "What do you want me to do?"

"Hold onto the Initiative's money for now, keep it hidden. The other one, give me another two hours."

"Okay.  I can do that.  I'm heading home and the cellphone bill was paid so I've got it working again.  Call me if you know anything."  He waved and bounced off.

"Someone needed less chocolate today," Gibbs said dryly.

"What does he do?" Kate asked.  "Is he law enforcement?"

"No, he's starting over by finishing his new house," Tony told her. "He'll start working construction again next spring."  He called a friend in the local Vice unit.  "Hey, it's DiNozzo.  A guy I know knows a hacker out in Arizona.  The hacker's sister got hooked by a gang out there so he stole their money.  Now, the cops out there have the hacker but they don't want to confiscate the funds too and it's bothering me.  Yeah, I've got all that.  I can fax you the email and what he found out.  Please.  Thanks.  Doing it right now."  He hung up and walked over to the fax machine to send it.  That was really non-standard.

***

Tony walked into Xander's house.  "Take it and hide them both," he ordered simply.

Xander clicked on six buttons, his mouse twice, typed something in, paused, typed something else in, then smiled at him.  "Done."

"Good.  The cops were a bit dirty."  Xander frowned at that.  "He's fine.  DEA was getting involved.  I talked to the agent over there and said it was in hacker custody but they were willing to hand it over.  He said it wasn't the main account.  They're all overseas."

"No, they're in Greece and they're pretty pitiful.  The main one in the Caymans was emptied last month."  Tony blinked so he handed over what he had printed off.  "I did some more checking.  "It looks like they're going downhill.  A supply problem hopefully.  I hate drug dealers."

"I hate drug dealers too."  He kissed him on the head.  "Let me fax that."

"Give me the number?"  Tony wrote it down so he sent it over.  "There we go.  What about the other one?"

"Hide it and don't use it unless someone asks."  He kissed him on the top of the head.  "Good job."  Xander beamed.  "What can I do to help tonight?"

"Cook?" he asked sheepishly.

"I can do that.  Let's see what you've got."

"One very burned roast."

"That's happened to me too."  He walked him into the kitchen, pausing to look at the new side of the house.  "This is going along really well."

"I'll be doing wallboard this week," he said proudly. "I put in the new hot water heater today and the new fuse box.  That's why the roast burned."

Tony smiled and nodded.  "It happens.  We all make one mistake cooking.  I nearly sent someone to the ER."  Xander grinned at that, letting him look through the cabinets.  "You went grocery shopping."

"I plan on going about once a month."

Tony smiled.  "That works for most things."  He found what he wanted and got to work.  "Got anything you want to do quickly?  In under twenty minutes?"

"Shower."  He went to do that, letting Tony cook.

Tony smiled, glancing into the water heater room before getting back to chopping.   His phone rang.  "DiNozzo," he answered.  "This is he.  I had him send that to you, yes."  He smiled and got back to work, phone cradled between his shoulder and ear.  "Yup.  He knows the hacker that got them originally.  Yeah, that same guy.  I don't know what you wanted him to do.  He said it was from a supply problem probably.  He's in the shower.  No, I'm at his place talking to him.  Dinner at the moment," he admitted.  "We're friends. He's from out in California; we met on a case.  Yeah, that one.  How did you know?"  He snickered.  "That's fine.  He's friends with Rosenburg but she doesn't know he knows how to hack.  Up to you guys.  You sure?"  He nodded.  "That's a good idea.  I don't know.  Let me know.  He's got the original one hidden.  No, he's fixing up his house.  Let me know and I'll have him help you all you want.  He said he would.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and got back to work.  Xander peeked in with a boyish grin.  "The agents out there called.  They said thank you and they're looking at the other accounts and what's going on."

"Okay.  I'm going to send Speed an email.  He had a problem the other day."  He went to do that, finding that he needed a bit of hacking help.  They got into a chat conversation while Tony cooked and he found what he needed, sending him the information he needed, plus how he got there.  He heard the fire detector go off.  "Do I need to worry?" he called.

"No.  Stuff on the burner, Xander.  Tell him I said hi."

"Okay."  He did that and got back one.  "He said hi back."  He found something else on the guy and handed it over.  Speed sent back a smiley face and signed off.  Xander went to help in the kitchen, including making the table nice for them.  "Thank you for cooking."

"Welcome.  What was he doing?"

"Someone who had moved and left stuff lying around."

"Another hacker issue?"

"They don't have one in the department."

"Maybe you can teach Speed."

"Maybe.  I only know a little bit though.  There's dozens of styles and I only know one," he said at Tony's look.  "McGee hacks differently than I do and so does your Abby friend."

"You and Abby would probably get along pretty well," he offered. "I should introduce you two."

"She might hiss at me for my former job.  McGee said she's goth."

"She's not usually like that.  How about we do a team lunch some week soon?"  Xander looked confused.  "You'd be invited."

"Oh.  Okay.  I wouldn't mind if they didn't."

"It'd make Kate quit picking on me," he said with a wicked grin.

Xander nodded and hugged him, taking the plates over to the table.  "What is this?"

"Fruit chutney and pork loin."  He got them drinks and came over to sit across from him.  "It's not that hard to do but it's pretty filling."  He ruffled his hair.  "Didn't do that?"

"Ran out of shampoo and soap and didn't realize it," he said sheepishly.  He ate a bite and  moaned, nearly melting on the spot.  "Oh, damn, that's good."

Tony smiled.  "Good."  He ate a bite and mentally patted himself on the back for doing such a good job.  "When's Speed coming back?"

"Not for a few months.  He's out of vacation time."  He ate another bite.  "He said his boss liked how relaxed he came back.  He got teased about it."  He ate another bite.  "We're still very close."

"You two broke up?"

"Speed decided he wanted to keep it casual since I'm nowhere near Miami for bootie calls."  Tony nodded at that, stuffing his mouth.  "Plus he's not here to cuddle when I have nightmares."

"Still?"

"I've had them for years," he admitted. "It's probably not ever going to end."  He heard a thump and went to check it out, looking at the couch.  "Why did I need a couch?" he asked, looking it over.  He found the book stuffed inside and sat down to look it over.  "Huh."  He looked at the letter in the front, then he got off the couch and went to find his former supply kit.  "Have you seen the holy water?"

"Study closet on the shelf, Xander."  He went to follow him, watching what he did.  The couch was sprayed liberally, making it scream.  "Did that couch just...."

"Yeah.  It's not a couch."  He called Angel.  "Did you send me the demon pretending to be a couch?  Yeah, it's in my new area.  Because I don't need a couch demon, Angel.  No, I'm in a pretty null area.  Yeah, and the book that was inside it.  Ewww!  I don't want to think about that!  No!  It was underneath the base of the couch. The butt of the demon would be on the back or the lower seam or something."  He shuddered.  "The book says that it can be changed back.  I'm not that powerful, Deadboy.  I can float a remote, a gun, something like that.  I can't change it back.  Sure, I'm here."  He hung up and watched Willow appear.  "Here, have the couch pretending demon."

"Sure.  Thanks."  She looked at the book, then took the note.  "It's all in here.  What's the book?"  Xander let her see.  "Huh."  She shrugged.  "Okay."  She took them back with her.

"Good, done," he said happily, smiling at Tony.  "Any left?"

"Some."  He followed him back to the kitchen, not sure he shouldn't be worried.  "How did she appear that way?"

"It's demonic teleporting. You've got to be pretty strong to do that.  I can't."

"Okay.  That makes sense."  He dug in again, watching Xander eat.   "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  It wasn't a prostate check finding that book."

Tony smiled.  "That's a bright side to that."

"It is and looking on the bright side means I don't have to go scrub with clorox."

"Always a good thing.  I can take you to get some soap and stuff."

"Thanks, Tony."

"Welcome.  So, how many more weeks do you think?"

"I don't know.  Maybe until December to finish all the inside?"

"Good.  It'll start getting cold in a few weeks you know."

"I know.  The insulation's going up right before the wallboard.  It's spray stuff."

"Even better.  Anything else we need tonight?"

"No, I'm okay."  He heard another thump and sighed.  "I don't want to know."

Tony went to look, staring for a minute.  "I hope you're not cursed," he mumbled, lifting up something.  "Hey, Xander, are any of your friends known cleptos?"

"No.  Why?"  He came to look, staring at the jewelry.  "Huh.  That's Wesley's family crest," he said, pointing at something.  He called LA again.  "Deadboy, is Wes there?  I just got something of his."  The phone was handed over.  "Wes, Xander.  Why did I just get jewelry with your family crest on it?  Same spot as the demon couch was.  Almost exactly.  Yeah, I'm sure."  He nodded.  "Have Willow bring you.  She was just here.  Sure.  Actually I'm having dinner with a buddy.  We're here."  He hung up.  "He's going to check with his family.  It'll be a while.  They like to complain about him."

"Sure."  He nodded, going back with Xander.  "Speaking of parents...."

"Oh, my mother is a clepto but she steals and then pawns stuff to get money for her liquor habit.  The occasional drug making in the basement too.  I haven't logged onto the PD server recently."

"Let's do that after dinner.  The store I'm thinking is open twenty-four."

"Good.  We can do that.  What do you think about animals?"

"Like farm animals?"

"I was thinking a dog to start."

"Dogs are nice," he agreed.  "There's a great pound in DC I can show you."  Xander beamed.  "They've always got some bigger dogs and you can handle one out here.  Plus it'll be a guard dog in case someone comes in."

"I could.  Not that anyone will be sneaking out here."  That got a smile and a nod.  "I need to get the cable hooked up too.  Plus a tv."

"That'll come soon."

"I hope so.  There's nothing to do but hack and work on the house."

"That means it gets done faster," he teased.

"Yeah, it would."  He looked back down the hall when he heard noise. "Willow?"

"It's me, Xander," a male voice said in a light British accent.  He came up the hall.  "I didn't know you knew my family crest."

"I looked you up when you showed up, Wes.  Want something to eat?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you," he said with a smile.  "I don't know how it got here.  I don't recognize any of it.  I'll take it back with me.  Is this your place?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  "It's stunning work so far, Xander."

"Thanks.  I've been fixing what was here and adding on so I've got plenty of room when I'm having a roaming day."

"It's going to be marvelous," he assured him, patting him on the back.  "Your friend is...."

"Tony DiNozzo.  My team at NCIS came out to solve the Initiative problem and Xander knows one of the others who hacks.  They play online games together."

"That's wonderful he's found friends."  He shook his hand.  "Wesley Wyhndam-Pryce.  I work with Angel."  He smiled at Xander.  "Are you fully retired?"

"This is nearly a null area.  I'm in practical retirement.  If something happens I'll deal but it probably won't."

"It's wise of you to get out.  You've been looking tired recently.  Do write more often.  I should get back with that stuff."  He patted him on the back again.  "Nice to meet you, Tony.  Do have a good date."  He walked off smiling, taking the things back with him.

"That's nice of him," Tony said with a grin.

"He said it was a date."

"He did.  It kinda looks like one," Tony admitted at Xander's look.  "But I don't expect anything, Xander.  Even if McGee does think we'd be cute."

"We might be," Xander agreed.  "Not that I'm objecting...."

Tony grinned.  "I'm not hinting, Xander.  If it happens, it does.  If it doesn't, it doesn't."   Xander nodded, smiling back.  "Good.  Eat.  Then we'll log in and then go shopping."

"Okay."  He dug in again, getting up to get some more iced tea.  "I need to go car shopping in the next few weeks."

"Probably should, yeah," Tony agreed.  His phone went off.  "DiNozzo.  Hey, boss.  Yeah, I'm with him.  Why?  He doesn't have a tv out here, boss.  Why?"  He let Xander hear the report going on.

Xander listened, frowning at it.  "I can handle that.  It'll take me a bit.  Get it out of public.  Gunshots would herd it but it's hurt by silver and cutting off it's top half.  Sure, be there as soon as Tony can get me there, Gibbs."  He handed the phone back, gulping the tea on the way to the office.  He grabbed his battle axe and walked back to get his shoes and a jacket.  "Come on, Tony."

"Coming."  He finished eating and followed him out to the car.  He got to drive while Xander made sure his axe was okay.  "Is that silver?"

"Yeah, it's silver plated."   He let it rest against his shoulder.  "We'll be fine as long as they can get it away from the press."

"Let's hope the local guys can herd the press off."  He sped up once he hit the main road, turning on the lights as well.  "I think this is a good enough emergency."

"It probably is."  They got there thirty minutes later and he got out when Tony had to pause to flash his badge, nodding at the guy.  "Get the press away from it."

"Can it be killed?"

"Silver to the mid-section, cutting him off."  They nodded and he called, letting the other cops back people away from the area.  Xander snuck up that way, sticking to the shadows.  "Having deja vu," he muttered.  He found the demon snacking on a car.  "Eww.  Doesn't the oil taste bad?"  He looked around then dove and rolled across the open area, getting behind it.  The demon turned and glared, taking a swipe at him. The hand came off.  The demon screamed.  Xander ducked another swipe and grab attempt, taking a backswing at that hand.  He missed but the blade nearly got stuck in the demon's knee.  He saw the hand starting to regenerate and ducked him again, then took a swing at the waist.  It split.  "Not good enough."  He had to roll to get away from him and got him from the side this time.  Its scream echoed around the area but it fell in two.  Xander panted, wiping off his forehead.  "Good."  He walked back between the buildings, circling around to get back to where Tony was.  He got into the car, putting the axe into the back on a plastic bag that was laid on the seat.  Tony spotted him and climbed in too.  "That's not an important bag, right?"

"No, that's why I put it back there when you got out.  Good work."

"As long as there's not another."  Tony glanced at him.  "It could've been one mating.  Eating metal is like that.  They need the oil and plastic to form good eggs."  He got out and went to a cop, slipping him something.  "There's a possibility it was in heat," he said quietly.  The officer gaped at him.  "If so, call me there.  Get and keep it away from people.  It'll want oil and plastic to make harder eggs.  Call me and I'll come."  The officer nodded, heading off.  Xander went back to the car and got in to hide.  "Okay.  We're good.  He's got my number in case something happens.  Can we go hide now?  There's a camera crew looking this way."

"Yeah, we can."  Tony turned off the light and backed out, heading back to the house.  On the way they stopped to get more soap and stuff.  Xander could really use a shower now.  He was a bit sweaty.  They also picked up some chocolate for Xander.  He wanted some and Tony wanted to see him happy tonight.  Which was why they ended up in front of the fireplace napping on the same couch with Xander curled against his side, with an arm around his stomach.

***

Speed frowned at the tv coverage, shaking his head slowly.  "Why did you jump in, Xander?" he muttered, watching it unfold.  The camera crews were forced back but you could still see when the demon died and the human figure slipped off of the scene and away.  "Xander," he moaned.  His boss walked into the break room, giving him then the tv a look.  "Xander," he said, pointing at the replay going on.  "He had to jump in.  That's Tony DiNozzo," he said, pointing at a guy off to the right of the screen.  "He's a friend up there who helped with Xander's last problem in Sunnydale.  He's been helping with the house now and then too."

"Interesting."  He came over to look.  "Is that thing human?"

"No.  It's not," Speed said.  He took a deep breath.  "I'm calling him tomorrow.  Right now he's calming down and it looks like Tony has it well in hand."  He walked off shaking his head.

His boss smiled at the flustered man.  Young love was so cute to watch.

***

Tony walked into work the next morning.  "I won't be late again, boss.  I fell asleep on Xander's couch helping him calm down.  Forgot to set my watch alarm."

"He okay after last night?" he asked, not looking up from his reading.

"Yeah, he's being artistic with the spray insulation and then doing wallboard in the first room."  He sat behind his desk.  "Morning, Kate, morning, Probie.  How was your night?"

"Fine," McGee said, smiling at him. "Did he get the Arizona situation solved?  I noticed Reagan was back online in the centaur game last night."

"Yeah, I talked with the DEA guys out there and Xander gave them what they needed.  They were on their way down the chain.  Had money issues but it worked well enough."

"Good," Gibbs agreed.  "The thing last night was the only one.  LEO checked for more car-eating things."

"He gave one of them his number in case it happens again," Tony said happily.  "How was your night, Kate?"

"Less exciting than yours."

"I only watched."

She gave him a look.  "Just friends?" she taunted.

"Yes, Kate, just friends.  I can have guy friends."

"Yet you reacted very strongly when that transvestite kissed you," she taunted.

He leaned back, looking at her.  "That was because they were like that."  She gaped.  "What's wrong?  I do have a few male friends."

"Work is not getting done," Gibbs noted.  "Kate, you weren't there in Sunnydale.  Mr. Harris is a very nice man and has combat history beyond last night.  He's the one who called us about the situation out there."

"Still, don't you think it's funny that a friend of McGee's is such a close friend of Tony's?"

Gibbs looked at her. "No.  He may play computer role playing games but that doesn't mean he's not fought and saved a lot of lives in his town.  His team out there was part cops, part hunters, and part protection patrol from what we were told.  He's a very nice young man, very helpful, and you should sit down and talk to him before you start making rash judgements."

"Or sit with his exes," Tony said dryly.

Gibbs looked at him.  "I don't think she needs that sort of trauma, DiNozzo.  Don't you have a report for me somewhere?"

"I left it on your desk last night, boss.  Did you hand it back?"  He searched his desk.  "It's not here."

Gibbs looked and found it, going over it with his red pen.  Then he threw it back at him.  "There, correct it."

"Yes, boss."  He got to work making the corrections.  It got Kate off his back.  For now.  Though he did write Xander an email saying that they should get him and Kate together so she could talk to him.

***

to next part:

Xander finished the last renovation on the house and smiled at his good deed.  It was late November but he was done!  It was all done.  He was so proud!  He took all the pictures he could, then went to do a happy dance outside.  That's when he noticed something was wrong.  "It's snow," he said, looking concerned. "Is it supposed to snow?"  He frowned, looking around the yard.  "I should cut wood or something."  He went to check his firewood supplies.  Almost nothing but he did have some spare lumber in the storage shed.  He brought that to the wood box, finding his power saw.  That was enough to cut those but he needed to do something about firewood in case the heater went out.  He wasn't sure if the heater was any good or not.  He found an old axe in the shed, looking at the blade.  "You need sharpened but I can do that."  He found his sharpening kit, sitting on the back porch to do the blade, then he went to find a few good trees.  Smaller would be better this time.  Less work.

He got two down after most of the morning's work.  He took a lunch break then went to drag them back to the house.  He chopped them on the back porch, putting the new pieces into the wood box.  Then he went to check supplies.  "I've got to do some stuff."  Xander headed to the study.  He had gotten smart and moved his accounts somewhere more tangible so he had access to it.  He realized he needed a few things.  A car or truck.  Supplies.  Someone to check the heater over.  Or at least a book on how to do it himself. He called the local cab company, grabbing his cards on the way out.  He made it outside and shivered.  "Shit, it's cold!"  He did the 'I'm freezing' dance until the cab showed up, diving into the back.  "Warmth," he said happily.  "I need to hit the bank please."

"Sure.  I can do that, Xander.  Not enjoying snow?  I know you said you're from southern California."

"The last time we had snow I went invisible."

"Okay."  He backed out of the driveway.  "Going grocery shopping?"

"After I find a car."

"Xander, truck," he said simply.  "Your road will get plowed last.  Your driveway has a small slope.  You'll need good traction and you'll want a truck."

"Okay, I can do a truck.  How long does it take firewood to dry?  Green wood smokes, I know that.  I tried that camping."

"A few weeks."  He saw the grimace.  "It'll be fine.  You have a heater, right?"

"I do but I'm not sure it'll work well enough.  I ran all the ducts and things."

"That's good.  You know, my brother-in-law works next to a heater place.  They can come check it for you."

"That might be nice," he agreed.  "Let me cut down a few more trees first."  That got a smile and a nod.  He paid the fare and got out, heading inside the bank.  "Hi."  The receptionist smiled.  "I need to talk to someone about the winter expenses."

"Mrs. Jackson is free.  Let me get her for you, Mr. Harris."  He grinned and nodded.  She went to check.  "Mrs. Jackson, Mr. Harris is here.  That guy who was fixing up the Palmer place," she said at the confused look.  "He needs to talk about winter expenses?"

"Sure, show him in."  She waved and Xander walked in.  "Are we thinking about applying for a loan, Mr. Harris?"

"I'm not sure if I need to or not," he admitted.  "I have money saved but I'm not sure how much exactly.  I need to get a truck.  I'm not sure what source my heater uses.  I need someone to look at it.  I need to cut more wood.  I need to lay in supplies too."

She held up a hand.  "Hold on.  You don't live that far in the boonies, sir."  He gave her a hopeful look.  "If I remember right, the old Palmer farm is far out but it'll be okay.  Calm down."  He took a deep breath.  "Okay.  Who did you go through for the realtor?"  He got into his wallet, finding her card.  "Let's call her, see if she knows your heater source."

"Okay."

She made the call for him.  "Hi, this is Mrs. Jackson at First National Bank. I have Mr. Harris in here....  She wanted to know how the renovations went."

"I finished this morning," he said proudly.  "I'll send her pictures when I get home."

"He said he's done as of this morning and he'll send you pictures when he gets home.  Actually, he was wondering if you knew what source the heater ran on.  He's in his first winter."  She listened and made notes.  "I can have him do that.  Thank you, ma'am.  You have a good day and many good sales."  She hung up.  "Your heater runs on propane.  I know for a fact you can order it from this place," she said, writing down another number.  "They also have someone who can come check your heater."

"The cab guy said his brother-in-law lived next to somewhere."

"It's probably the same place."  She slid it over.  "As for trucks, because you'll probably want one with how backwoods your road is, you can get one at the car lot up the street.  Let's see how much you have."  She got into his accounts by name and smiled.  "It looks like you've got a very healthy balance, Mr. Harris.  Propane won't be that expensive.  We're not supposed to have a horribly bad winter.  You said you've got wood burning stoves?"

"Two fireplaces in the original and one other one I put in.   I had someone come out to make sure they were okay."

"Good.  That's a good thing.  We can do all that."  She wrote down the balances for him, weathering the frown.  "That's in a CD.  It'll come out of holding in about a week or so if you wanted me to move it into your regular account."

"No, go ahead and put it in short term please.  That way it's closer if I need it."

"I can do that."  She made a note.  "Okay, now you have three accounts.  Do you want to consolidate?"

"Do you think I'll be okay with that much?"

"Your propane tank should probably run about three hundred to fill up, depending on the size of the tank.  If it's a big enough tank you won't need to fill it up twice this winter.  They can tell you that."  Xander nodded quickly.  "Good.  Now, as for supplies, just stock a normal pantry, Xander.  We don't get the really bad snows, the ones that trap you in the house for weeks on end. You might get trapped for a week until someone plows out your way but probably not longer than that and with a better truck probably not more than a few days."

He relaxed fully and smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Tell the guy at the car lot that I sent you to get a truck and tell him you live at the old Palmer farm."

"I thought it was the Henderson farm."

"She didn't last that long.  The Palmers lived there for about four generations.  Traditions like that are good but their house got condemned and taken down before it got sold."

"Wow.  Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Go get a truck, call the propane people today."  He nodded, shaking her hand and walking off with his papers.  She smiled at his back.  He was such a nice boy.  No matter what the local cops said about him being some sort of gun collector.

Xander walked onto the car lot, looking around.  Someone leaned out of the trailer.  "Mrs. Jackson at the bank said to come to you for a truck."

He smiled.  "I'm out of trucks, sir."

"I'm Xander Harris.  I live at the old Palmer farm."

"I've heard you've done some good work out there, son.  Let me look around to see what I've got.  Get in here out of the cold."  Xander walked into the trailer.  "How is the house looking?"

"I got finished this morning," he said proudly. "Then it started to snow.  I kinda panicked.  I'm from near LA.  I've seen snow once and it was a bad thing."

"I can understand that, son."  He called someone.  "Lou, it's Jacob.  I've got the owner of the old Palmer place here needing a good truck."  He listened then smiled at him.  "My brother Lou has one at his place in the next county over.  What sort?  Remember that old half-house way out in the middle of nowhere near the stream?  Where we go hunting?  He bought that place and fixed up the house.  I've heard it's real pretty."  Xander took out his phone, searching through it until he got to a during-construction picture.  "That's very nice.  Take out the original outer walls?"

"Yeah, after I got done last week.  I finished laying on the last piece of trim this morning.  It really takes two weeks to cure firewood?"

"It can," he agreed.  "How's that old trailer?"

"My friends at NCIS had to borrow it for a few hours for a witness they were protecting but we found an old skeleton out by there during a heavy rain.  Gibbs found some clippings about an old murder.  Do you know who it belonged to?"

"Yeah, but he's long gone now.  I'll let the Sheriff know so he can call him."  He listened to his brother.  "That'll work.  He's here now.  Sure, come on over.  Thanks, Lou."  He hung up.  "It'll take him about twenty.  He said it's got some engine noise but it's easily fixed.  It's got good tires...." he trailed off when he saw the confused look.  "Not a car guy too?"

"Does it run?"  Jacob nodded and smiled.  "Will it get me out of there if I get stuck and hurt myself trying to cook?"

"It should."

"Is it ugly?"

"He said a bit of rust but not too bad.  Again, easily fixed by someone competent.  Lou doesn't sell junky cars or trucks."

"Okay.  I trust you.  Most of the locals have been really nice and honest and all that."

"Good boy."  He smiled.  "You going to use the house as a reference this spring?"

"I am.  I know there's a few good construction crews around here.  I have the new house and the reference from my last boss."

"I hope you get one.  Any other things you have to do today?"

"Call the propane place to make sure I can use the tank before it gets filled."

"That's a good time to do it," he agreed.  He looked out.  "Looks like he drove pretty fast.  Doesn't look or sound too bad."  He walked Xander outside.  "Kid, buy a real jacket."  Xander looked confused.  "It'll only get colder, kid.  Do you even own sweaters?"

"Not yet.  I'm going to get a dog soon."

"Get something big that'll play," he said with a smile.  "Lou, this is Xander Harris, he's the guy who fixed up the old Palmer place."

"I drove out there a few weeks back, it was looking really nice."  Xander beamed at the compliment.  "Going to take down the outer walls?"

"Last week.  I put on the last piece of trim this morning.  Then I saw the snow and kinda panicked a bit."

"That's okay.  I did it my first winter on my own too."  He patted the truck.  "She's older but she's okay," he offered.  He let Xander into the cab, handing him the keys.  "She'll do you good for a long time if you treat her right.  She could use a tune up.  Her tires got changed a few months before she got sold.  The owner traded up to a Range Rover."

Xander ran a hand over the wood dash.  "She's good.  She runs okay?  Without the tune up?  I'm not much of a car guy."

"She does.  You'll probably want to change her fluids in the next few months.  You can do it at the same time.  She'll definitely let you run around for the next few weeks."  Xander grinned at that.  "Now, she's going pretty cheap because she's old.  Only two grand."

Xander ran a hand over the seat.  "Could use recovered too."  He got out and looked it over.  "The bed isn't covered with a liner?"

"No, not yet.  You can get that pretty cheap in the city," Jacob offered.  "I also noticed you've got a taillight out, Lou."

"Really?"  He went to look.  "Yeah, I guess I do.  Is Earl running his garage?"

"Yeah, still.  He's still not backed up either.  I can call him over if you want, Xander.  Then you can arrange for when it'll go in for that tune up."

"Okay.  Will it cost a lot?  I'm used to mechanics that charge nearly an arm and a leg."

"Nah, not Earl."  He called him.  An older man hobbled over.  "Hey, Earl, cold got your joints?"

"Again," he agreed.  "That's Tommy's old truck.  He taught his kids to drive on that."  He started the engine, then nodded before turning it off and walking around the truck.  "Rust'll need sanded and filled.  Tune up, fluids changed."  He kicked a tire.  "That one's a bit flat but it can be fixed easily."

"What about a bed liner?" Xander asked.

"You could do that," he agreed, looking at him.  "You're the young thing that knows that guy with the mustang."

"Tony, yeah.  He's with NCIS."

"Hmm.  Federal boys."  He nodded, looking it over again.  "What're you into?"

"Construction.  I'm applying around this spring."

"That'll work.  How's the house?"

"Done this morning," he said proudly.  "Now I've got to call the propane guys."

"That's Bertha's two sons.  They're good guys.  Other side of that mini-mart place, kid."  He nodded.  "Worth about nineteen hundred."

"I can do that," Lou agreed.

"Works for me.  How much for the repairs?" Xander asked.

"About three hundred probably.  Body work might run a bit higher.  If you go with a liner it definitely will."

"Okay."  He walked them into the office to sign the paperwork and let them call the bank since they couldn't run debit cards.  Xander went to get the check for them, bringing it back.  He got the title and filled it out.  Jacob said he could file it for him.  Then he went grocery shopping.  The super stores were nice for that.  The truck bed also let him get a chest freezer.   On the way back he stopped at the propane place and they said they could come out in the morning so he'd be okay.  Hopefully.  After a few hours of puttering he called Tony.  "Where's the pound?"  He smiled.  "Please.  I need a dog.  I'm bored.  I'm done," he said proudly.  "I've got the propane people coming tomorrow to make sure the heater's okay and to fill up the tank for me.  I did some stocking up.  I cut some trees up for firewood.  I know I've got a well...."  He frowned.  "Sure, I can do that.  Thank you."  He hung up and went to fuss a few more things, then he got into his truck and drove off.  The officer who stopped him on the way took the notice that he had just bought it that morning and gave him a warning so it was fine.  It took him a few lost turns but he did find the pound nearly at closing and walked in.  "Hi, I need a dog."

"For an apartment or house?" the keeper asked.

"House.  I have a huge house out in the middle of nowhere."

"Like sheepdogs?  I've got one that's out of time today at five."

"I don't care.  It's a dog.  I need a dog to play with."  She smiled, leading him into the back areas.  The dogs gave him such pitiful looks.  The cats were worse.  He whimpered.  She patted him on the arm and let the sheepdog out.  "Awww, you're a big fluffball!"  He got down to pet it.  "Boy or girl and how old?"

"Just about two years old.  He'll probably live to be about twelve."  Xander nodded, letting the dog lick his face.  "He likes you."

"I like him."  He grinned at her.  "Okay."  He stood up.  "Wanna come with me, Murphy?"  The dog barked and followed him.  Xander looked around.  "Will he be lonely when I start working construction this summer?"

"Maybe."  She let him look around, smiling at the little dog he found.  "She just came to us today, sir.  If you're interested we have a poodle that's running out of time tomorrow."  Xander shuddered.  "She's sweet."

"My mom had one she taunted me with."

"Sorry.  Let's see who else we have nearly gone."  She looked around.  "No, just the poodle that's going this week.  Now, we do have the cats if you like cats."

"I live in the woods, there'll probably be mice."  She smiled and showed him the ones they had running out of time.  "I hope the poodle finds someone."

"I do too.  She's very sweet."

"But I'd never let her nap on the bed with me."

"Good point.  She needs a family to love."

"I'm kinda gay," he said quietly.  "I think.  I don't know, I'm confused on that at the moment.  I love my guy but I used to like girls."  She patted him on the back.  "I'm sorry to dump that on you."

"It's all right."  She frowned at the other keeper when she walked a dog back.  "I thought he went home."

"He didn't like them."

"Does he and the sheepdog get along okay?" Xander asked.

"He's good with all dogs."  She let them sniff each other and the dog in her hands licked him.  "They're good."

"I'll take him home so Murphy won't get bored with just me to play with him," Xander said.  "I've got a new huge house.  I fixed it up and got done this morning.  Now it's time for a dog.  And maybe a cat."  He looked at the cats.  The keeper pointed out one long haired scruffy cat.  "You look like Speed does."  He pulled her out to look at her.  "Like dogs?"  He let the dogs sniff her.  The little dog that had been carried back barked and the cat hissed but didn't try to claw him.  "Will they get along?"

"They will," the keeper with him agreed.  "She's a big queen.  Especially of heads.  Her momma died."  She petted the cat.  "Or we've got a short hair if you'd rather only have one thing to brush."  She pointed at one.  "She's nearly gone too."

"She smells sick," Xander said, looking at her.  The keepers frowned but looked at her, and one found out that she did have a sore that was infected.  "Will that give her more time?"

"It will," she promised, smiling at him.  "Let's get the forms filled out.  "Come on, dogs."  They walked out with her.  The sheepdog only huffed when the little one jumped on his back to ride out.  "Lazy," she teased.

"Now and then a good, comfy pillow is nice," Xander said with a grin.  "How much?  Do you know a good vet out in the nearest West Virginia county?"

"I do.  We have a list of vets," she said, smiling at him.  She filled out the forms.  "Now, we'll send someone out in a few days to look over your house to make sure they're settled in well.  All right?"

"Okay."  He took the box carrier they had the cat in, then the leashes for the dogs.  "Come on, guys.  Out to the truck."  He got them into the truck, heading back to the house.  He stopped at the mini mart to get them food but that was fine.  He'd go real shopping again tomorrow.  He let the dogs into the house.  "Let me get the leashes off."  He took off the leashes and let them run.  "There you go.  Go sniff!"  He let the cat down, opening the carrier.  "There you go, Queen Scruffy."  She ran off, going to hide under the couch for now.  "That's fine.  We can handle that."  He went to check on the dogs, letting them outside for a few minutes.  They did their marking then came back in to investigate some more.  He settled in to read on the couch, starting a fire to keep warm.  The little dog hopped up into his lap.  The sheepdog laid on his feet.  The cat finally came out from under the couch and laid in front of the fireplace, glaring at them for daring to do things without her.  It was a home.  Finally!

***

Tony came over the next night, noticing that everything looked done from the bottom of the driveway.  He saw the truck and frowned.  "He bought a redneck truck?"  He parked beside it and got out, looking the truck over.  "Xander?"  He walked into the house, pausing when the dog came out barking fiercely.  "Whoa!  I'm a friend.  You'll like me soon enough.  I spoil dogs."  He let the dog sniff him.  "Xander?"

"Boys, that's Tony, leave Tony alone," he called from the kitchen.

Tony let both dogs sniff him then walked back that way.  "Sorry I didn't make it out last night.  We got called out at four-thirty to a robbery."  He gave him a hug.  "They're nice looking dogs."  He spotted the cat on top of the fridge.  "And a cat?"

"That's Queen Scruffy.  She reminds me of Speed."

"She does me too."  He grinned at Xander.  "Since I didn't make last night, are we good for tonight?"

"As long as it's cheap.  I've got to replace the heater.  It's going to be expensive."

"Use the stuff the DEA said you stole fairly."

"Even with that it's still expensive.  Do you know how much cable is to run out here?"

"A lot probably.   Want me to go over that income stuff with you?"

"I'm good at that.  I had the bank check the day I got the truck."

"I noticed the redneck truck."

Xander gave him a look.  "It'll get me out of here if I get snowed in and it carries groceries.  It runs okay."

Tony kissed him on the temple.  "I'm good with cars.  I can help you check that."

"Earl did.  He's got a garage."

"That's fine.  What did he say?"

"Some body rust.  A fluid change. A tune up."

"I'm yours all weekend so I can help you with that," he offered.

"I don't know anything about cars, Tony."

"Then it's something I can teach you," he teased.  Xander grinned back.  "Anything else need fixed?"

"I think the washer's ready to go.  It was smoking earlier."

"Yeah, that's an indication.  How much do you have left?  Without the money you stole?"

"A few dozen thousand."

Tony gave him a hug.  "You'll need a few grand to live on this winter.  How much is the new heater?"

"The propane guys said about six hundred at the cheapest.  I've got a contractor coming tomorrow to see since I've got ductwork in.  They can put in air conditioning at the same time."

"That's always a plus.  It can get warm and sultry during the summer.  He's coming on a Saturday?"

"Yeah.  They even give free estimates."

"Cool."  He grinned.  "Now, what else did you do?"

"Firewood."

"Did you stack it or just pile it?"

"Piled."

"It'll dry better if you stack it."  He walked him out there to show him.  "This is how Gibbs does his."

"Where does he get wood?"

"I think he buys wood," he admitted.  Xander looked confused.  "Some people sell the firewood they cut.  It's about fifty bucks for a truck bed full.  You can find them in the classifieds or you can keep cutting your own.  These don't look too bad."

"Can we bring some in to do a fire?"

"Sure."  He gave Xander some of the dry stuff, finishing the rest of the stacking.  The dogs came to help and he smiled.  "Hi, you two.  What's their names?" he called.

"The big one is Murphy, the little one is Roger."

"Hi, Murphy and Roger."  He petted them both, watching them run to anoint some bushes, then head back inside.  "I know, it's chilly."  He finished up and headed inside too, finding Xander warming himself in front of the fireplace.  "Why aren't you wearing a sweater?"

"I don't have any."

"Put the DEA money into a regular account, Xander."  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Because they might use it to track me."

"No, they said they weren't.  They told me they weren't.  Go ahead."  Xander nodded, sitting down at his laptop to do that.  "Have you been living in here?"

"The heater doesn't make the bedroom very warm."

"Where's your thermostat?"  Xander shrugged.  "Okay.  Let me find that.  It might help."  He went to find it, finding it in the kitchen and another upstairs.  He set them both at seventy and smiled when the heater came on.  "That's better."  He came back down, finding Xander curled up on the couch.  He sat with him, letting him get warm.  "There you go.  It'll be warm soon."  Xander grinned at him.  "You still need some winter clothes."

"I know.  I got myself a new gift card from it."

"Congrats.  Where do we have to go to get it?"

"Western Union."

"We can find one of those too.  Get your wallet and stuff."

"Can we get more dog and cat food?"

"Of course."  He petted the sheepdog when he came over, letting him get under the blanket for now.  "You nap, guys.  We'll be back soon.  Let me make Xander buy some clothes."  He called Gibbs.  "I'm taking Xander shopping since he's never been in winter.  Well, boss, he did want to ask you about firewood stuff.  Plus some other stuff.  Heading to a Western Union and then clothes shopping.  He's wearing a t-shirt and jeans.  He doesn't have a sweater and his jacket is for spring.  Sure.  Meet you there.  If she wants to come she can," he agreed.  He hung up.  "Gibbs and Kate will meet us at the mall she likes in an hour, Xander.  That'll give us time to pick up the money and head there."  He nodded, letting Tony lock the door.  "Got the keys?"

"Yup."  He held them up.  "Want to take the truck?"

"Not today.  Let's tune it up tomorrow first.  It's supposed to be warmer."   He let him into the mustang.  "Did you get with anyone about those other weapons?"

"Yeah.  I've got someone coming tomorrow to look at them.  That way I can afford a really good heater if I put in the wrong ducts or something."

"Good."  He got in to drive, taking them to the nearest super place so he could pick up the money transfer.  Then they went to the mall.  Gibbs was being impatient.  "Sorry, he had to pick up dog and cat food, boss."

"That's fine.  Dog and cat?" he asked Xander.  Who produced pictures.  "They're cute."

"Murphy's the sheepdog.  Roger's the little one.  Queen Scruffy is the cat.  She kinda reminds me of Speed.  Hi, Kate," he said when he felt her sneaking up on him.  Tony snickered so he looked.  "It's very hard to do that to me.  So, Tony said I needed sweaters and a new jacket."

"You do, kid," Gibbs agreed, walking him inside.  "How many fireplaces do you have?"

"Three now.  I had two but I put another one in.  I even had the fireplace guys come check it for me.  It works really well.  I've been living in the living room because of it."

"I know where you can get some decent wood.  We'll get you a few truckloads of it this weekend.  How's the construction going?"

"Done," he said happily.  "Now I can start planning the back porch."  Tony snickered. "I'll need one if we're going to have cookouts and things during the summer."

"True.  We will," Tony agreed.  He grinned at Kate.  "The place had one of those older half-houses and he expanded it to a full house with a great view and a wonderful layout. I got to help with the kitchen stuff."

"Plus the roof and a few other walls," Xander reminded him.

"True, I did help him put on the roof and the outer walls.  Speed did more than I did."

"He was there longer," Gibbs reminded him.  "How is he doing, kid?"

"He's okay.  He said work's been a pain recently but he's fine.  He's talking about taking another long weekend up here soon if he can find a cheap flight.  I offered to ask Willow but he calls that way 'missing gut air'.  He's not very fond of that way.   I haven't told him about the pets yet but I'm sure he'll like them.  Even Queen Scruffy.  She likes to watch me cook too, which he helped me with."

"We'll write him tonight, Xander," Tony promised.  "Boss, sweater sale," he said, pointing at a store they passed.

"Expensive sweaters for no reason," he said patiently.  "Frou-frou ones too, DiNozzo. Like your blue one."

"I like that one."

"It looks like a girlfriend bought it for you," Kate teased.

"One did," he agreed.  "But it's very comfortable.  Sears sells clothes?"

"They do," Gibbs said patiently.  "They also sell washers since he said his is broke.  Plus they'd deliver the washer and haul off the old one."

"Wow," Xander said.  "Okay."

"Gibbs, let me," Kate said, leading Xander away from the tools.  Tony got to approve while Gibbs and Xander talked about the new construction.  "What about a garage?" she asked at one point, handing him a stack.  "Go try them on."  He nodded, going to do that.  She watched him go then looked at Tony.  "He's used to girlfriends doing his shopping?"

"His former girls who were just friends drug him when *they* went shopping," Tony corrected.  "His girlfriends never would've spent the money on him.  He giggled when Speed asked him who had bought one of his t-shirts."  Xander came out and he shook his head.  "Next size up, Kate.  That's too tight."

She looked then nodded.  "It is.  But you're very nicely built, Xander."  She took the stack back and went to get him the next size up, letting him and Gibbs talk about garage plans.  That was something practical that he could do over the winter.  She bought back more this time, handing them over to him.  "There."  He sighed but went to try them on.  "He'll need a jacket too," she reminded them.  Gibbs pointed at a rack but she snorted and shook her head.  "Not even close, Gibbs."  She went to look at the other styles, nodding when Xander came out in her first choice.  "I like that one.  If it itches, it'll be better when you wash it."

Tony waded in, separating out some of the sweaters for him with a small wink.  Xander relaxed again.  "We'll hit the other places too."  Xander finished trying things on and let Kate railroad him into a new pair of socks too but then he checked out with a longing look toward the electronics section.  "After we get you wintereized.  I've got a better place to find a tv."

"Sure."  Xander let himself be pulled into American Eagle but he balked at the prices.  "Way too expensive."

"There's a sale rack," Kate assured him, walking him over to it.  She found something she liked but it was still too expensive.  So she let Tony drag him into the store having the sweater sale.  "See, frou-frou cable knit sweaters, Tony."

"Not all of them, Kate," he pointed out, leading him to one section.  "See, nice, plain, comfy, and flannel shirts for over your t-shirts.  All on good sale."  Xander picked through what was there, with Kate's help, and found a few more things.

Gibbs handed over a jacket, earning a smile for the simple look it had.  "You should see him fuss over his own clothes," he told Xander.

"I have, it's kinda cute."  Gibbs smirked but he shrugged.  "It is."  He went to try them all on, getting more approving looks and these were softer so he found a few more he liked, even if they were kind of expensive, even with the sale.   Tony was right he could splurge a little bit tonight.  "Washer?"

"Oops."

After they checked out there they went back to Sears to find him something, which wasn't that hard.  The delivery guys had to get precise instructions because his road didn't have a name marked on it.  But he was getting used to that.  They hit a few more stores, picking up a lot of socks, a new set of sneakers and boots for winter because his work boots weren't warm, and then some cocoa because Xander had forgotten it.  Then Tony let Xander stuff the trunk with things and they went to dinner as a group.  Kate decided she liked Xander, he was a goofball, but she didn't want to date him.  She'd heard from McGee about some of his girlfriends.  It was good he was going gay, it was safer for the world if he went with guys, and she would support his right to be gay before his next girlfriend killed everyone around him.  She and Gibbs waved as they left to go tv and DVD shopping.

"Think he'll hibernate?" Kate asked.

"I did my first winter on my own," he admitted.  "There's still stuff he can do around the house.  I'm wondering how Tony's getting the mustang out of there some days."

"Me too.  He said he lives down a barely paved road."

"He does," Gibbs agreed.  "We kept a witness out in his woods for a while.  That reminds me.  I wanted to check on that body that they found out there."  He walked off.  "Night, Kate."

"Night, Gibbs."  She went back to her own car, heading home to a warm soak with bubbles and a few happy dreams about picking on Tony because he couldn't walk right.

***

Xander dropped his knife when the all news channel started on about a cop being shot in Miami, turning to stare at the mini-tv Tony had him put into the kitchen.  "No," he said, staring in horror.  He grabbed the counter, holding on while they said who it was and why he had been shot.  "Shit!"  He called Speed's cellphone.  "Speed, it's Xander.  Please be okay.  Pretty please be okay?  I know I did the spell to make you okay."  He hung up and waited, then called again.  "Hi, how is he?  I heard it on the news.  Xander.  Oh, you're Alexx.  Is he okay?  Please let him be okay?"  He sighed and went limp.  Then he moved the pan off the heat since it was burning.  "I can be down there tonight," he promised.  "When will they let him go home?  Because I've got a great big house he can come stay in while he recuperates.  He helped me build some of it, of course he's welcome.  Yeah, I'm that Xander.  Please."  She asked a nurse if there was a new update, getting a short one.  He listened and relaxed.  "Thank you, Alexx.  I can be down there by early tomorrow.  Yeah, I can fly down.  Thank you."  He hung up and went to make travel arrangements, calling Tony on the way.  "Speed got shot.  He's in surgery.  I'm going down there.  Can you pop around to feed the pets?  Thanks," he said, leaving the message on his voicemail.  He was probably on a scene too.  He went back to finish dinner once the flight was arranged.  He had two hours to eat before he had to leave.

***

Xander walked into Speed's room, finding him awake, kind of.  "Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi," he said back, waving him over.  Xander pounced him to hug him.  "I'm okay."  He kissed him on the temple.  "What did you do?" he asked quietly when he didn't let go.

"I did a protection spell."

"It's probably what slowed the bleeding," he offered. "I'm not mad, Xander."  Xander looked at him.  "I'm not."  He smiled at him.  Xander sniffled.  "None of that.  I'll be fine."

"You got shot."

"It's an occupational hazard.  My gun jammed for some reason."

"Did yo clean it?"

"Yeah."

"Huh."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "You can come up to recuperate, you know that, right?"

"I do.  I'm planning on spending some of it with you.  I figure walks in the snow would be good for physical therapy."  Xander smiled at that.   "Off the bed, I hear the nurse."  Xander shifted to the foot of the bed, making him smile.  "Thanks.  I'll get out soon."

"They won't keep you for weeks?"

"Nah.  They were saying days but I've got months of PT coming up."

"Not like I'm doing anything this winter."

"Good point."  He smiled at the nurse when she came in.  "My friend Xander."

"You warned me about him.  He can go home in a few days, young man."

"Okay.  Will he be able to fly?"

"He will be."  She checked Speed over, making notes in his chart.  "I see you can have jell- o for breakfast.  We have strawberry, orange, and green."

"Orange.  It's the least nasty."  She nodded, walking off.  "Please let me have real food when we get home?"

"Of course you can," Xander promised.  He smiled at the woman coming in.  "Hi."

"Hi again.  You made good time."

"It's not that long of a flight.  I'm only in DC now."  He patted Speed's foot again.  "Did you want to come right up?"

"I should probably give them a few days to fuss, Xander.  Alexx will complain if I don't."

"It's up to you but if you ride the bike up I'll have to rig up a tarp for it.  We've got snow."

"I'm sure you do.  Did you remember to finally get a car?"

"I got an older, shortbed pickup.  Tony calls it a redneck truck."  Speed smiled at that.  "You can even help me plan the garage."

"I can do that," he agreed, shifting some.  Xander helped him.  "Thanks."

"Been injured before.  It sucks monkey balls."  Speed burst out laughing at that, holding his shoulder.

Calleigh looked at him.  "You're very unique."

"Yes I am," he agreed happily.  "Aren't you glad?"

"Yup."  She kissed Speed on the forehead.  "I don't know why it malfunctioned.  It's clean.  It won't fire."

"Pin?" Xander suggested.  "I have one that's a bit worn on one side so the top's at an angle and it won't fire right."

"That could be."  She stroked over his head.  "You're a good friend for him, Xander."  She smiled at Speed again.  "Need anything?"

"Real food?"

"Soon enough," she promised.  "Alexx is bringing you some lunch."  He smiled.  "Good boy."  She patted him again.  "We'll mob you at lunch but I'm on today so I've got to go back.  You behave.  Let Xander fuss for a while for us."  She smiled at him.  "I'll expect him to be safe while he's up there."

"Of course he'll be safe."

"Good."  She walked off, heading back to work.  She ran into Eric, Alexx, and Horatio arguing over who got lunch.  "Xander's in and sitting on the foot of his bed to make him giggle," she announced.

"I haven't met this boy yet, so I'm going," Alexx assured them, heading off.

Eric smirked at her.  "Did he ignore you again?"

"No, he's calmed down since the last time we saw him.  He thought it might be a partially filed pin.  He said one of his has that problem."  Horatio nodded at that.  "Tim said he's spending some of his recovery in DC with him."

"That's fine," Horatio agreed.  "Tim was happy to have helped him build his home.  I'm sure Xander wants to let him into it."

"You do know...." Eric started.  Horatio nodded, making him beam.  "Good.  He said he's a nice, overprotective, fussy boy."

"He is that," Calleigh agreed.   "I did say you two would be in at lunch as well to meet him.  Speed said he'd have to spend the first few days down here due to Alexx fussing over him but then he'd go up."

"That we can do," Horatio agreed.

***

Xander walked back into his house, pouncing Tony for a hug.  "He'll be okay."

"Good."  He looked at him.  "Kate got shot, Xander."  Xander pulled back.  "Did you do anything to protect me?"

"Yeah, but it wouldn't get her shot.  It would've helped you if you had gotten shot.  Given you enough time for help to get there and things."

"Okay.  That's all you did?"  Xander nodded slowly, staring at him.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure.  Why?  Did someone else say I did?"

"No, just wondering."

Xander gave him another hug.  "I'm sorry you lost her, Tony.  I know she was special to you."  He patted him so he let go.  "I'm sorry you're mad at me too."   He looked over, finding Gibbs coming up the stairs.  "It's open."  He walked in after kicking the snow off.  "I just heard, Gibbs.  I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, kid.  He was aiming for Kate, DiNozzo.  Ari left all sorts of clues he was aiming for Kate."  Tony slumped.  "Whatever you think he did to you didn't cause it."

"I only did a protection spell.  On Speed it slowed the blood flow so EMS had time to get to him."

"That's a useful one," Gibbs agreed, patting him on the shoulder, getting a hug.  "Thanks, kid."  He looked at Tony.  "It's not his fault, DiNozzo.  The one person at fault we're going to hunt down and find."

"Yes, I am," he agreed.  "Xander, can I borrow you?"

"McGee and Abby are working on it," Gibbs reminded him.

"There's dozens of ways of hacking, Gibbs.  Different languages, different programs, all that stuff.  If I can help I will," Xander promised.  He led them into the study, tossing his jacket on a chair and taking off his boots.  "Toss those out in the hall for me please?"  Gibbs did that while he booted up his laptop and logged in under his hacker identity.  "What's his name?"  Tony wrote it out.  "Okay.  Hmm.  Intelligence?"

"Former Mossad.  Turned traitor to them," Tony said quietly, starting to pace.

Xander got to work tracing him.  "He's out of the country," he said a few minutes later.  He sent out an alert saying he wanted information on this guy, that he had fucked with a very close friend.  He got back some and printed it off for them, then got to work finding him.  "Hmm.  We have a trust."  He let Gibbs see.  "That's the same him, right?"

"It is," he agreed, reading it over.  "I'll be damned."  He let Xander get back to work while he watched, smiling at where he was getting into.  "Interpol?"

"It's a well-known back door but they've got a sub department in there that could help."  He got into someone's email, sending it to the owner.  Then he sat back and waited.  He got a reply through the same way and smiled, answering it back.  They got the dossier they needed, including international contacts.  Xander printed it and handed it over.  "For you.  Now, let me go one other place.  He sent a thank you email and said if they found anything else to please contact Gibbs and gave his email address.  He logged out of that system, totally, and out of his computer then back in under the same alias.  That way if someone was tracking him it was broken.  He reset his ISP number, which took about five minutes, then hit another area.  This was nice.  Very nice.  He got into the game and made his character wander over to another one.  He typed in a simple 'hi, I'm Jeeves'.  The character snorted and he did something to the character, getting some attention.

A few other hackers pounced him and he got free, making his RP character smile and tell them what he was doing there.  Usually he only joined this game when he needed something huge from the other hackers.  They pointed him at the right person so he walked his character over there, waking her character up.  He got into a conversation with her, ending up in a private chat area to see what he really wanted.  He told her, she agreed it was for a good cause since he was a terrorist, and she promised to send the hackers at NCIS information.  He gave McGee's RP address, that way it was safer and she agreed to send it to him there.  He thanked her, cracked a joke, making her walk off shaking her head, but he exited the game and looked at Gibbs.  "McGee's getting something from her.  It might take her a few hours.  She's an international hacker, over in Israel.  She's got a lot on him or so she said.  I don't know how much is duplicate."

"That's fine, I can accept duplicate information."

"Good.  Tell McGee to log into his elf lord persona."

"I can do that too," Tony offered.  He called him.  "McGee, Xander got someone to send Elf Lord Vargas information on Ari."  He smiled.  "A hacker from Israel.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He'll stay logged in but idle over there.  Boss, the director wants you."

"I'm going.  Thanks, kid."

"Welcome.  Do you need Tony or can I make him dinner?  He looks like he hasn't eaten or slept in a few days."

"Go ahead and make him dinner.  DiNozzo, oh-seven-hundred, sharp," he ordered.  Tony nodded. "Good."  He took the information out to his car, heading back to the office to see if McGee had anything for him yet.  They had some more information, mostly what was in the official databases.  It went well with the Interpol file.

"I'm not really hungry, Xander."

Xander came over and pulled him up, forcing him into the kitchen.  "Yes you are.  Where are the dogs?"

"Outside on the run."  He opened the back door, letting them inside.  "There you go, boys.  Daddy's home."  They bounced and loved on Xander until he wore them out, then went to nap in front of the fireplace.  "They were out for about thirty minutes.  I didn't want our fight to get in the way."

Xander hugged him again.  "If I had known I would've guarded her too, Tony."

"Can you guard the others and Abby?"

"I need hair."  Tony nodded, relaxing against him.  "I'm sorry you lost her," he said gently.  Tony sniffled.  "Let it go, baby.  I'm here.  Let it go."  Tony let it go, clinging to him for a while.  Xander got him onto the couch when he was done, letting Murphy nap on his legs for him.  Then he went to make him dinner.  Something soothing.  Something nice.  Something he wouldn't burn.

***

Speed got out of the truck, looking at the house.  "This is better than the pictures, Xander.  It's really good work."

"Thanks."  He smiled and let him inside, letting the dogs bounce them both.  "Easy on Speed, boys.  He's got boo-boos."  Murphy barked.  "I know, you licked my last one for me.  Thank you, you're very helpful," he said, scratching his head.

Speed smiled at the dogs.  "They're good looking dogs."  He petted them both, letting Xander lead him to the couch.  "Hey, Tony."

"Hey," he said weakly.  "Sorry, it's been a bad week."

"What happened?"

"Kate."

"I heard, man. I'm sorry."  He gave him a one-armed hug.  Tony gave him a squeeze.  "It'll get better in time."

"I hope so."  He let Roger into his lap, petting the little mutt.  "He's very comforting.  He even tried it on Gibbs."  Speed smiled and Xander finished fixing up the couch for him, letting him lay down.  "You're in for it now."

"I was at home too.  Alexx is a world class fusser."

"Good.  It'll mean less fussing over me," he said.  Xander stuck his tongue out but went to get them both cups of cocoa.  "How long you in for?"

"A few weeks."  He looked at him.  "Like I told him, Tony, we're not exclusive.  Miami is too far away for bootie calls."

"Yeah but if you're here that's poaching."

"Not really.  I'm easy about that stuff."  He accepted his cup of cocoa.  "Thanks, Xander.  Cuddle up with me?"  Xander cuddled up around him, holding him for now.  He sipped his cocoa, letting the warmth fill him, letting the chocolate soothe him, and letting him drift back off to sleep.  He was doing a lot of that since he got out of the hospital.  Stupid drugs.

Tony smiled at Xander.  "He'll be fine.  That's the drugs making him nap.  They do to me too." He finished his cocoa.  "The new director's in today."

"I'm sorry.  Want me to have her eaten?"

Tony looked at him. "Don't tempt me, Xander.  Please."  He took a picture of the cuteness.  "Abby wanted to meet him."

"That's fine.  If and when he's ready to go out."  He gave Speed a squeeze.  "It'll be okay."

"Of course it will be," Tony agreed, smiling at him.  It was funny, he hadn't realized Xander would need comforting.  He always seemed like a rock to build a foundation from.  "He'll be fine, Xander," he assured him.  "He'll get back to work and all that."  He saw the extra squeeze.  "If he wants to you can't make him not go."

"I know.  I'm...."

"Worried," Tony agreed.  "I am too.  It's not often that this stuff happens."

"I know but I want to steal all his stuff so he has to stay up here.  Where he's safer."

Speed blinked at him.  "If you do, the blue and green t-shirt is Eric's.  You'll also have to have the garage done for my Ducatti."  Xander smiled at that.  "It's a normal worry and we'll work through it together, Xander.  Can I maybe breathe?"  Xander let go slightly.  "Thanks."  He yawned at Tony.  "It's normal."

"I know.  The same as yours are.  I spent a long time worrying if I could or should go back to work after the plague hit me."  Speed frowned at him.  "Got sent to the office.  I'm the lucky guy who opened the envelope.  My own fault."

"Better you than someone who wouldn't have survived it," Xander offered.

"True.  McGee might not have survived it."  He smiled a bit.  "It'll be okay."

"If you say so."

"I do.  He lived, it'll be fine, Xander."

"Okay."

Speed looked at him.  "I'm sure it'll be fine, Xander.  Really.  I've got a good, long while before I'm in the field.  The physical therapist I talked to up here said the same thing.  I've got months before I'm going to be ready."  Xander nodded, relaxing again.  "Good boy.  Now, lunch?"

"We can do lunch."  He climbed off Speed, going to find food.   "Tony, did you go grocery shopping?"

"Yeah.  You were out of milk."  He looked at Speed.  He nodded and Speed went in there to help.  Xander had to see he wasn't helpless or he'd be tied to the bed soon.  Not that it wasn't a fun mental image.  Tony smacked himself.  "Not now, DiNozzo."  He called the office.  "It's me, boss.  Speed's here, Xander's back, need me yet?"  He grimaced.  "You sure?"  He nodded. "Okay."  He hung up.  "Xander, you're supposed to be making me take a three-day weekend on orders of the new director.  They're all getting one."

Xander came out to look at him.  "Funeral's when?"

"Tomorrow."

"Then we'll go."  Tony nodded, giving him a hug.  "Come on.  You need to eat too."  He hauled him up and into the kitchen, finding Speed staring at the cat.  "That's Queen Scruffy.  She reminds me of you."

Speed grinned at the cat.  "He's got good taste, huh?"  The cat yawned and went back to sleep in *her* spot on top of the fridge.  "I've got the junior version of her at home.  Calleigh's watching her for me right now."

"We had a squirrel looking for warmth and she pounced it like it was the mot fun toy ever," Tony told him.  That got a laugh and Speed petted his cat.  Then he washed his hands and got back to work on the sandwiches. Tony came over to help, letting Xander watch them this time.  It was good how they fussed over each other.

***

Tony woke up panting, sweat dripping down his back.  "Nightmares too?" Speed asked from the doorway.  Tony nodded, looking at him.  "He told me.  If you want he can cuddle you too."

"I don't want to get between you guys, Speed."

Speed leaned on the door.  "While that's a hot image, all I'm offering is cuddles, Tony.  I've got my nightmares, Xander's already had a few of his.  This way we're all cuddled so we can fight each others'.  Deal?"  Tony nodded, getting up and following him back to the master suite.  He climbed in on Xander's other side, getting a snuffle then Xander clung to Speed while Tony got Xander's back.  "He's good at that," he said quietly.

"Very. Thanks."

"Welcome.  Nap, Tony.  It'll be a long day tomorrow."  Tony nodded, closing his eyes and drifting off again.  Speed smiled, then snuggled into the warm arms around him, going back to sleep as well.  Neither of them woke when Xander did, but he only hummed and went back to sleep since Tony was cuddling and Speed was in his arms.

***

Xander woke up, and felt something familiar.  Then he realized that he was holding someone.  He blinked at the person in his arms, Tony, then looked over his shoulder.  Speed.  "Huh," he said quietly.  He considered it then decided it felt good.   He felt rested, more than usual, and it felt good.  He wiggled his butt back to make Speed swat him.  Xander smiled back at him.  "Morning."

"Morning," he agreed sleepily, cuddling up to his back.  "He looks good being held by you."

"So do you."  Speed grinned.  "We're apparently cute together."

"We are," Tony mumbled.  "Sleep now.  Molest you later."

Xander kissed him on the head.  "We'll see."  Tony bit him.  "Ow."  He rubbed the spot, getting a kiss to his shoulder from his lover.  "Thanks, baby."

"Welcome."  He kissed him for real this time, having to lean over to do it.  "I'm going to leave that up to you, Xander."  Xander gave him a confused look.  "I'm sure you two have cuddled."  Xander slowly shook his head.  "I gave you permission."

"He likes girls."

"Move your leg.  Is he hard?"  Xander did that then nodded quickly.  "Then he's not turned off by you holding him."  He took another kiss.  "We'll work that out later.  For right now, the cuddles are too good to give up.  When do we have to get up?"

"Nine."

Speed looked at the clock.  "Half an hour.  Good."  He yawned and closed his eyes.  "Nap again, Xander.  Think later.  You're thinking too loud."

"That's because I'm stuck in the smutty mental places."  Speed smiled. "They're definitely not scary mental places but I can't seem to get ....."  Tony kissed him, making him moan and shut up.  "Sorry."  Tony snuggled in again, going back into full sleep.  Xander let himself drift on those images.  When the alarm went off Tony groaned but Xander kissed him on the forehead.  "Shower, Tony," he said quietly.  "You have to get up."  Tony blinked at him then smiled, making him smile back.  "You do."

"I know.  Comfy."  He slapped the snooze button then put his head back down, finding Speed's hand.  "Hi to you too.  Thank you for fighting the nightmares."

"I'm good at fighting evil things," Xander reminded him gently, stroking through his hair. "You should shower."

"I should."  He yawned and took a gentle kiss.  "I'll start breakfast."

"Just coffee, Tony.  I'm not sure we'll be able to handle food today."  Tony's face fell and he hugged him.  "We're here for you," he reminded him.  "We're going with you."  Tony nodded, slipping out of bed.  Xander turned over, waking Speed back up.  "Morning."

"Morning again.  Go help Tony, Xander.  He needs the comfort."  Xander started to look confused again.  "Please?"  Xander nodded, going into the bathroom to help Tony in the shower. Speed got up to start coffee, hearing Tony questioning him.  "I sent him," he called before leaving the bedroom.  Murphy got up, sniffling his legs.  "Hey, guys."  He let them out the back door.  "Come right back."  He filled the food bowls and both dogs ran back inside nearly immediately.  He shut the door and fed the cat, moving Roger's nose out of her bowl.  "Morning, Queen Scruffy."  He gave her a scratch too, then he found the coffee.  He grabbed the water filter pitcher from the fridge.  The water was a bit slow coming this morning but that was fine.  He knew about wells.  He finally got the coffee started and looked around then at Tony when he came in.  "Well's getting low on water."

"He can fix that."  He gave him a hug.  "Thank you for lending me Xander."

"You needed him, Tony.  He's good at comforting others."  Tony nodded, letting him go.  "Think you want food?"

"No," he admitted.  "He was right about that."  He looked around, scratching Murphy's head when it nudged his hand.  "Hi, guys."

"Take him with you, Tony, I'll make a comforting lunch," Speed offered.  Tony smiled and nodded.  "Waffles?"

"I like waffles."  He looked Xander over when he came in.  "Where were you hiding a good suit?"

"I asked Cordelia to pick one out for me."  He smoothed down the lapels.  "I don't like it but I can handle it."  He gave Tony another squeeze.  "We need a lint roller."  Speed found it and handed it over. "Thanks."

"Welcome.  I'll do lunch for when you guys come back."  They nodded, doing the lint rolling for each other, then took coffee with them.  Though, Xander got an extra travel mug.  Speed smiled at that gesture.  He was sure Gibbs would need it too.  He checked the supplies in the kitchen, wondering why Xander had bought one of nearly everything in the grocery store.  He found everything he needed for waffles, setting out things.  He got some of his own coffee, going to put on clothes so he could let the dogs out again.  They liked to romp in the snow for a little while.  Putting them on the run lines was easy enough and a shower afterward was perfect.

***

Xander walked up to Gibbs, giving him a one-armed, manly hug, then the coffee cup.  He stepped back and followed Tony into the church.

Gibbs had to smile, taking a sip of the coffee.  "Speed must've done the coffee."  He calmed himself, nodding at Kate's parents.  "I'm sorry."

"Did you get him?" her mother asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good."  She patted him.  "Who was the young man?"

"That was Xander.  He's a friend that Tony introduced to her."

"She mentioned him."  She gave him a gentle smile.  "Bring in the coffee, Jethro.  She said you were better with it."  She walked her husband inside.  "Boys," she said quietly.  Tony hopped up to hug her.  "It's all right, Tony.  We know you couldn't have protected her."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Sit, dear."  He sat down.  "Xander, it's nice to meet you.  She told us she had met you recently."

"I'm sorry you lost her so soon, ma'am," Xander said, taking her hand to squeeze.  "If I can do anything to help, let us know."

"I will, boys."  She walked to her seat, sitting with her husband's help.  He sat beside her, taking her hand to hold.  "This is why I didn't want her to join the Secret Service," she whispered, not looking at the casket.

Tony looked at Xander, taking his hand to squeeze.  "It'll be okay," Xander reminded him gently.  "Remember, the dead can hear your thoughts.  She's probably off yelling at you somewhere."

Tony nodded.  "Probably."  He shifted to make room for Abby.  "Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi.  Hi, Xander."

"Hi, Abby."  He reached over to squeeze her hand. She gave him a weak smile.  "Want to come play with Queen Scruffy afterwards?  She's good at being cried on."

"I might."  She patted his hand. "Where's McGee?"

"He couldn't get out of the car," Xander told her.  She sighed but he shook his head.  "He'll come in soon."  McGee came in with Gibbs behind him.  They sat in front of the trio, McGee nodding at them.  "It'll get better in time," Xander reminded him.

"Did yours?"

Xander nodded.  "It took a long time but yeah, it did."  McGee nodded, settling in.  "Don't make me kick your seat if you get stuck in bad thoughts," he hissed.  McGee shook his head quickly.  Gibbs looked at him.  "Had to for others."

"It'll be fine, Xander.  We were going to lunch together after this."

"Tim's making waffles.  He might be able to make more."

"I'll call him on the way to the graveside service," Gibbs promised.   He stood up when the body was brought in, Tony and Xander right behind him, McGee right behind them.  When the casket was placed in the holder, they sat down again.  He felt Xander kick the seat and looked back at him but he had only shifted.  McGee quit staring at the casket and looked down instead.  A few minutes later he heard Xander shift again but this time it was to hand Abby something to cry on.  The rest of the funeral went smoothly, McGee only got one more kick to knock him into moving when the rest of them stood up and he didn't.  At the end, they followed Kate's body out, Xander behind their group and the family.  Gibbs looked at his people.  "Xander, you drive one car.  Abby, McGee, ride with me."  They nodded, getting into the correct cars.  Xander ground Tony's gears once, even he had to wince at the sound, but he got it right on the next shift.  He followed the hearse, Tony's mustang right behind him.  On the way he did call Xander's house.  "Xander invited us back for breakfast since we were going to go out together."  Speed's 'of course you're all coming back' made him smile.  "Thanks.  We're going to the graveside now."  He hung up.  "We're going to Xander's for the team lunch."

"Sure," Abby agreed quietly.  "Are we cooking?"

"No, Speed is."

"He's up?"

"He got shot a few days back," Gibbs told her.  "He's damn lucky he survived.  Harris is fussing over him too."

"He's good at it," McGee said quietly.

"He is."  He pulled in the cemetery, watching the hearse park.  He parked behind the family, looking at them.  "Don't heave, McGee.  No matter how much you want to.  Am I clear?"

"Yes, boss."

"Good.  Walk Abby inside, you two can lean on each other."  That got a nod and they got out.  He got out and closed the door, nodding at Tony and Xander.  The boy was doing a good job of hovering without making it look like they were together.  He followed them, nodding at the parents again.  The team gathered together, McGee staring at the casket again.  Xander gave him a small pat on the back to wake him out of his thoughts, getting a look from McGee.  Xander mouthed something and he nodded, grimacing but looking at the casket.  Abby wrapped her arm around McGee's and he looked at her instead, getting a gentle squeeze. The priest stepped up to start the last of the service, letting the honor guard place the casket and remove the flag draped over it for the folding and presentation.

***

Speed looked out as the door opened.  "I'm cooking now, guys. You made good time."  He poured out another portion of batter, closing the iron.  "There's four started.  Go wash up."

"This way, guys," Tony ordered, letting them into the downstairs bathroom.  He went upstairs to change, finding Xander doing the same thing.  "Thank you."

"It's what I do, Tony."  He gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "You'll come back tonight.  That way you can sleep too."  Tony nodded, taking off his suit coat.  Xander handed him the hanger it had been on, pulling on some jeans and a t-shirt, plus some other socks. He padded downstairs, going to help.  "Can I do anything?"

"Nope, I've got it.  Get me plates."  Xander did that, plus the milk and glasses.  "Thanks.  Food!" he called.  They came to get plates and make their waffles however.  Abby got into the fridge, finding some jam but that was fine.  Speed nodded at those he didn't know.  "Hi."

"Hi," Abby said.  "You're Speed right?"

"I'd hope so.  No one else had better be sneaking in and cooking."  Xander grinned at him.  "Sorry, some levity."

"No, it's a good thing," Abby assured him.  She gave him a hug.  Then she spotted the dogs.  "Why are they outside?"

"Because they're being butts," Speed told her.  "Roger was trying to hump the fridge.  This way they can't jump and beg.  They can come in when we're done eating.  Besides, the cat's still here."  He nodded at the lump of fur on the fridge.  "She doesn't like to come down.  Murphy likes to give her a bath."

"Awww," she cooed, coming over to pet the cat.  "Hi, Queen Scruffy."  The cat looked at her.  "I'm Abby, I'm a nice person.  Want some lovies?"  The cat let her pet her, going back to her nap.  "She's adorable."

"Especially when she pounces your toes under the sheets," Xander agreed.  McGee cracked a smile but it fell away.  "You're allowed, McGee.  Really.  She wouldn't want you to be stuck at that moment.  Or to join her."

"I know, it just seems wrong."

"Of course it does.  You feel incomplete, like someone removed a limb."  He looked up then nodded.  "Everyone's life is like a puzzle.  A corner of yours got removed.  No one will ever fit that hole the same way but that doesn't mean you can't make new friends, that you can't move on, and that she'd want you to mope yourself into following her.  She didn't seem like that to me."

"She wasn't," Abby agreed.  She gave him a hug.  "It'll be okay."

"I know, but it's going to take time."

"It will," Abby agreed.  "But we've got each other to help us through this."

"We do," Gibbs agreed.  "Kid, ever think about going to college?"

"With my grades?" he snorted.  "Not likely."

"Xander, you could go to school," McGee said firmly. "You're nowhere near stupid.  Half of that was Sunnydale and the other half was the fact you had no time for studying.  No stupid boy could hack the way you have."

"School still sucks," Xander told him.  "I hate lecture classes."

"We'll nag him about it later," Speed promised.  "He'd make a good therapist."

"Yeah but I don't want to listen to other people's problems every day.  I'd rather work construction. I make a good salary doing it and I get to do what I like and see it finished."

"We won't push if you don't want to go," Tony assured him.  "We want you to be happy."

"I am."  He grinned.  "See, happy."

"Good.  The well's still running a bit low," Speed told him.

"I know.  I've talked to someone about it and it can be fixed.  She'll be out this week to help."

"Good."  He patted him on the back.  "Looking forward to it."  He made more waffles, handing them over.  "There, eat.  Then go wander to tell Xander how good he did on it."

"Okay."  Abby fixed her next waffle then took Xander off, walking him around so he could tell her where he had done the additions.  Gibbs followed behind, tapping on a few walls here and there to check for soundness.

McGee finished up.  "Can I get the dogs?"

"Sure," Tony agreed.  "They might bark but they won't bite."  He nodded, going out to get them and let them inside.  Murphy immediately tried to lick the syrup off his face and Roger tried to hop up onto his head, but that was fine.  The dogs would make him feel better.  Tony looked at Speed.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I learned how to help people in pain from Horatio."  That got a smile.  "Also, you should probably do some wash.  You didn't bring anything over this time."

"Point."  He grinned and went to find his pile of laundry.  He walked past Gibbs.  "Laundry day."

"That works," Gibbs agreed.  He walked out onto the back porch.  "McGee, there's snow on the ground.  Get them in here so you don't freeze."  The dogs ran inside and McGee followed, looking a bit happier.  He walked in shaking his head, muttering about kids.

***

Tony woke up that night feeling someone stroking through his hair.  He blinked at Speed, who was sitting up.  "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"Just needed to talk."  Tony sat up too, looking at Xander.  "If we move he'll have nightmares."  That got a nod.  "I'm going to be here for most of a month, Tony.  Is that going to make you uncomfortable?"

"No.  Why would it?"

"Because it's clear you care for him the same way I do," Speed said quietly.  Tony sighed but nodded.  "I was fine with it before and I still am, Tony, but I'm wondering if we're moving into one of the most natural trios ever or not."

"I don't know," he admitted, looking at him.  He glanced at Xander before shifting closer.  "I have no idea, Speed.  I know what I want but that's all I know right now."

"The real question is, do you think you could stand me the same as you do him?"  Xander shifted and they both stayed quiet until he snored and flipped over to hug Speed's thigh, earning a smile and a pat through his hair.  Xander drifted off again.  He looked at Tony, who took the simple answer and kissed him.  "Not bad."  He took another one.

"Want me to sleep in another bed?" Xander muttered.

"No, sleep, dear," Tony ordered, patting him on the back.  "I want you to nap.  We're talking about sharing you."

Xander looked up at them.  "That's one of those images that won't let me get to sleep again."

"We're just talking tonight, Xander," Speed promised.  "We'll work on the practical stuff tomorrow.  Go back to sleep."

"Can't now."  He nuzzled Speed's stomach, making him hiss and tense up.  "Relax before your shoulder starts to ache."

Tony chuckled. "He's very direct."

"Yeah, he's good at it too," Speed assured him.  "I had to teach him but he's great at it."  Xander blushed but went down further to play with his cock.  "Oh, that's nice," he moaned, shifting to give him more room.

Tony watched, then shifted behind Xander, licking up his back and nibbling on his neck.  One hand moved slowly down to tease him, but it only made Speed groan.  "This means you'd both be mine.  I'm possessive once I've locked onto a target."

Speed smirked.  "You and me both, Tony."  Xander groaned.  "He bottoms too."

Tony moaned.  "I'd like to see that soon."

"You two haven't?"

"Getting closer but I didn't want to pounce when you didn't know."  He took a kiss from Speed, earning a smile.  "You're sure?"

"I'm very sure."   He pushed Xander's head back down.  "So, do you bottom?"

"Maybe," Tony offered with an impish grin. Xander wiggled so he paid more attention to him, winking at Speed.  Speed wiggled when Xander laughed, coming with a groan.  "Oooh, my turn!"  Tony flipped Xander over to play with him for real, making him wiggle, giggle, and bring the dogs.  "Out, guys.  No need to protect the daddy."   The cat walked up him so he looked back.  "Mine, cat.  Down off the bed."  Speed picked her up, putting her onto the headboard.  "That'll work."  He got back to playing, letting Speed help.  It took longer to get Xander off but it was fine.  Speed attacked Tony, making him moan and go limp, taking it and enjoying it. "Ohhhh, he's good at that," Tony agreed happily when Xander latched on to suck him.  "Very good at that."

"Yeah, I taught him good," Speed agreed, winking at Xander.  "Do that thing," he mouthed.  Xander winked back and did that one thing Speed had taught him, making Tony yelp and come, nearly hurting his back.  "See?" he asked with a shiteating grin.

"Oh, I do," Tony said, sounding sleepy.  "More in the morning, guys.  Okay?"

"Works for me," Xander agreed, draping himself across Tony.  "I'm extra cuddly," he said at the pat to his shoulder.

"That's fine," Tony agreed.

"Anya hated it."

"Anya has good taste in men but bad taste in what she liked," he said dryly.  "Cuddle up, Speed?"

"I can do that."  He cuddled against their sides, his bad arm over Xander's back.  "Nice, thank you, guys."

"Welcome," Xander agreed.  "Can I pounce in the morning?"

"Sure," Tony agreed.

"You'll be worn out," Speed warned.

"That's fine.  I'm off.  I could use the cuddles.  I'll limp Monday morning."

"Works for us," Speed agreed.  Xander made a humming noise, nearly asleep.  They smiled at him, then Speed fell asleep on Xander's shoulder.  Tony wrapped them in his arms, falling asleep as the pillow.  It was nice.  Very nice.

***

Tony limped in Monday morning, looking at his boss.  "Please tell me we don't have a case yet," he begged hoarsely.

"Played with the dogs too much?" McGee asked.  Tony gave him a look.  "Really?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah.  Where's Gibbs?"

"MTAC."

"Good."  He sat down with a hiss.  "I need another back massage."

"He pounce?"

"We made the mistake of letting him eat chocolate and wear out the dogs first," Tony said simply.  He heard someone coming down the stairs.  "Morning, boss."

"DiNozzo.  Are you fit for duty?"

"Just a bit sore, boss.   Xander wore us out playing with the dogs."   He got a look.  "He did."

"Uh-huh.  Take something for your back, DiNozzo."

"Did on the way in, boss.  Just waiting for it to kick in on top of the massive breakfast Speed made us."

"What's Xander doing today?" McGee asked.

"Working on garage plans."  Tony grinned.  "That way I don't have to park the car in the snow."

"Are you moving out there?" Gibbs asked bluntly.   "The kid could use some help to stay sane."

"It's tempting but it's outside call-in distance," he said quietly, staring back.  "Especially if he gets snowed in."

"Point.  Keep a place in town just in case," he ordered.

"I can do that.  You sure?"

"I'm sure.  If I need you suddenly there's a good chance you'll be just as close."  Tony nodded at that. "When's Speed going back?"

"Early next month.  He's meeting with his PT today.  Xander drove him in."  That got a smile.  "I should write Miami to make sure they know he's okay and doing what he's supposed to.  Not getting into any trouble."   He turned on his computer and got in to do that.  It wasn't that hard to find their email addresses through the department's home page.  He selected his boss's email since Speed said things that made him think they were friends as well as coworkers.  He sent off a quick, happy sounding email and opened up his present casefile.  "Anything new yet?"

"No, not yet, DiNozzo.  We're on back desk duty for the day.  Get caught up."  Tony nodded, getting to work on that.  "Anything else I should know?"

"Speed said there's got to be a garage if he moves up here for his precious Ducatti."

"He rides a Ducatti?" McGee asked.

"Yeah.  Bright yellow too," Tony said with a grin.  "He said he's always getting tickets."

Gibbs moaned.  "Wonderful.  I can see you two drag racing down that back road for some reason, DiNozzo."

"I haven't drag raced since I was sixteen, Gibbs."

"Uh-huh."  He printed something, signed it, and put it into his out box.  "What do I have coming from you two?"

"Two reports, boss.  One that I'm correcting now," McGee offered.

"Nearly three.  All in outline," Tony admitted.  "One I'm correcting."  That got a nod.  He got down to work.  "What did the new director want?"

"Things to change."  Tony shuddered.  "It'll be fine."

"I hope you're right."  He got back to work, typing quickly.  He'd hate to have to retire and join Xander on a construction crew. Or maybe he and Speed would set up as PIs.

***

Speed answered his phone.  "Speedle."  He grinned.  "Hi, H.  Tony did?  That's good."  He laughed.  "No, I'm here playing with Xander's cat.  No, I'm okay.  PT today was horrible but it's going.  A month.  No, we're good.  Xander's got the house finished.  It's great.  I've been taking a lot of walks, making Xander do things like buy clothes that don't look like construction worker clothes."  Xander stuck his tongue out at him from across the room.  "Well, right now I've got Xander making smores in the fireplace with the dogs trying to beg for them.  I'm on the couch.  Yes, I'm comfortable.  I'm fine.  I'm being good.  Want a picture of my shoulder?"  He laughed.  "That's fine, H.  In a month.  Watch my bike for me, okay?  Thanks, H.  Tony's a friend.  He's at NCIS.  Sure.  I can do that.  Yeah, I can borrow Xander's computer.  That's fine.  See you in a month."  He hung up.  "Alexx wanted me to write."

"You know where the computer is.  I gave you your own log-in."  Speed smiled, going to do that while Xander made another few smores for them.  One did fall so the dogs got to fight over that gooey mess but that was fine he guessed.  He brought the plate into the study, giving him a kiss before handing him his.  Then he grinned and went to make cocoa.  There had been a great snowfall last night and he wanted to go play in it.

Speed smiled, shaking his head when he heard Xander open the door and the dogs follow him out to play.  He was such a goofball sometimes.   He even took a picture to send to Alexx, it'd make her giggle and try to fuss over him from Miami.

***

Speed looked around the sleepy scene Friday night, frowning.  "Guys, we're not this old or this settled," he said.  "We should be out having some fun."

"We can do that, I know some good clubs," Tony offered.

"Where we won't get into trouble for being together?" Xander asked.

"We shouldn't," Tony agreed.  He patted him on the leg.  "Go change into clubbing clothes."  Xander gave him a confused look. "Surely you've clubbed?"

"A bit when I was in Las Vegas and Miami.  I didn't get hit on."

"We can solve that," Speed promised, getting up and hauling Xander up.  "Show me what you wore last time."  Xander nodded, leading him into the closet.  He found his favorite outfit for that and Speed shook his head.  "No, too loose.  Remember, you want to go out there looking hot.  Even with us, you want us to drool over you while you move."

"I don't dance that well."

"It happens and we can teach you that too," Tony promised.  He pulled out a set of jeans and a t-shirt, handing them over.  "That and the leather jacket."  He looked at Speed, pulling out his only tight jeans.  "We need to shop for you."

"It happens.  I don't club too much in Miami either."

Tony shook his head.  "I spent nearly every weekend for the last ten years in the clubs."  He found something he wanted to wear, going to change in the bathroom.  Xander changed into his while he was changing, letting Speed pick his own shirt.  He came out and looked.  "Nice choice, Speed.  Xander?  Wrong shirt."  Speed changed it for him and handed it over.  "Better.  Boots.  Not sneakers."  Xander sat down to put those on.  "Better."  He led them out to his car, taking them to a gay club he knew was discreet and out of the way.  No cameras.  An entry off a parking garage.  No way for them to be seen.  He led them in by their hands.  "I've got cover."  The bouncer scanned them.  Tony showed his ID, getting a nod.  "I've got shrapnel, he's got new stitches, and I'm not sure about Xander."

"I've got a bit of metal here and there from attacks, especially graduation," Xander admitted.  "There was a metal frame on the building."  The bouncer hand wanded him but the metal detector only beeped faintly at most spots.  Tony paid cover and they were let inside.  Xander watched the crowd.  "I can't move like that."

"You can and you will," Speed promised, dragging him out there.  He planted Xander in front of him, moving with him, making Xander move with him.  He wasn't quite getting it but Tony moved up behind Xander, matching rhythms with Speed's to show him.  Their hands on Xander's hips helped, some, but he was still very anti-rhythmic.  "It's like sex," Speed told him.  "You do well with that."

Xander shrugged. "I'm trying!"

They squeezed him closer, tighter between them.  Xander matched the stride a bit better but he was doing girl moves.  Tony nipped him on the neck.  "Not like your friends did, Xander.  We don't need you being girly for us."  Xander gave him a helpless look.  So he went to get him a drink.  It'd help.  He brought it back and Xander shared it with Speed.   It helped, a bit, but the next song helped more.   "Ah-ha, it's a style thing," Tony said happily, making Speed smile.

"This has nothing on some of the back-room Latino clubs in Miami," he called back over the music.  Xander grinned and nibbled on his neck, making him hiss.  "No turning into a vampire, Xander."  Xander shifted and his rhythm got better.  He mouthed 'what did you get him' to Tony, who smiled.

"Rum."

"Rum good."  Speed let Xander latch onto Tony, getting his back.  It was much better.  They were nearly having sex on the floor and getting a lot of appreciative looks.  He glared at one when he came over, making him move off.  Tony got to glare at another one.  Xander finally growled at someone, glaring at him.  He backed down and backed away slowly.  "Wow," Speed said, kissing him on the back of the neck.  Xander pressed back against him, making him happy.  Tony looked down at Xander.  "What?" Speed asked.

"Hey, Xander, are you in there too?"

Xander looked up at him and grinned.  "Of course I am. Did you feed me rum?"  Tony nodded.  "Rum bad.  Vodka bad too.  All the dark liquors are bad but most light ones are okay."  He kissed him.  "I'm fine.  I won't hunt.  I'm still in control."

"We'll remember that next time," Speed promised, letting Xander wrap himself around him.  "We should sit for a while."

"That works for me," Tony agreed, leading them off to sit out of the way.  Xander was extra cuddly and gropey but that's fine.  Speed went to get a new drink for them.  A safe, simple dark ale.  Xander sipped and looked impressed, taking another drink.  "Looks like we found a good drink."

"That's good," Speed agreed, taking it to sip.  "Mmm, good ale."  He kissed Tony then Xander.  "Thanks, Tony."

"Welcome."   Tony smiled at Xander, stroking over his cheek.  "Let's go back out there?"  Xander nodded, climbing over him and dragging Tony with him.  Speed laughed, waving at them.  He finished the ale, watching the looser, comfier Xander out there.  He was definitely attracting attention now.  A lot of attention.  Speed got up and went out there, taking Xander back, winking at Tony, who let him have him for now.  By the time they were ready to go, Tony had decided to take them back to his place.  It was closer and he needed to pick up clothes anyway.  He walked his boys out to the car, taking them to his place.   It was warm and cozy.  Even if he did have a letter on the door.  He looked at it then rolled his eyes.  "I'll talk to him in the morning."  He let the boys into the apartment, going to pounce Xander.  He owed him for making his back hurt that first weekend together.

***

Tony stumbled in Monday morning, looking at Gibbs before putting his head down and falling back to sleep.

McGee cackled.  "Looks like someone had fun this weekend."

"He called me Sunday, his landlord made him move.  His sister was coming in and he gave her Tony's apartment."  Gibbs threw a balled up piece of paper at Tony's head.  "DiNozzo!"

"Boss, I'm going to commit homicide," he said plainly.  "It'll be a nice, clean crime scene.  Give me ten, please."

"Director's coming," McGee said, getting back to work.

Tony sat up, looking at his boss.  "I got everything moved out to Xander's."  He blinked hard.  "Speed used it as PT for the week.  The local PD out there was amused but oh well.  They offered me a detective's spot since it's closer.  Do you need me to fix the forms today, boss?"

"No, wait until you get one in town."

"I figure those days I can afford a motel room.  I keep the travel bag in the trunk anyway."

"That would work," Gibbs agreed.  "As long as I can get you when I need you."

"Sure thing, boss.  We're fighting Xander's sedentary tendencies.  He's been home all week.  We had to make him go out Friday night," he explained at the look.  "Oh, as a matter of future reference.  Xander may not drink rum or any other dark liquor and he may not drink vodka but dark beers are fine.  Dark liquors and vodka do funny things to him."

"Did you have to buy a leash?" McGee asked quietly.

"About a quarter of the way there," Tony admitted.  The director finally made it to their row and he handed over something he wrote out.  "I'm changing my address officially next week sometime when I'm sure I can stand living that far out."  She gave him a look.  He stared back.  "The old director wanted to know such things, ma'am."

"That's not any further out than mine is," Gibbs pointed out.  "It'll be fine.  Does your current cell work out there?"

"Yeah, as long as Xander's cat doesn't chew on the antenna again."

"I was wondering why you had to get a new one," McGee quipped.

"She decided it was a mouse when it vibrated.  She batted it into a mouse trap while playing and then carried it and the trap into the bathroom, tossing it into Speed's shower as a present to show what a mighty huntress she is."  McGee cackled about that.  "Exactly."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Same number, boss, but more storage."

"I remember."  He looked at the director.  "The old director did want to know those things, Jen."  She walked off.  As soon as she was out of sight upstairs Tony's head hit the desk again and he started to snore within seconds.  Gibbs shook his head.  "I've got to talk to those boys."

"If he was *moving* it might be a legitimate tiredness," McGee offered.

"It might be but they probably didn't need to do it all night."

"It depends on when he needed to be out, boss.  Um, coming back," he noted.

The director put the form down on Tony's desk then gave Jethro a look.  "His landlord's sister is coming in so he gave her DiNozzo's apartment without his agreeing to give it up.  He spent all weekend moving his things.  I'll get him up in an hour."

"He could have called off today."

"He hasn't had any leave time built up since he got the plague, ma'am," McGee said.  "He had to borrow at that point."

She stared at him.  "Why?  That should have been sick leave."

"Because in the last year DiNozzo's been shot twice and clubbed in the head another four times trying to save the rest of us injury," Gibbs told her.  "They made him borrow and he still came back a week too early."

"Nearly died that day getting us away from the bomb," McGee said.

"True, he did," Gibbs agreed.  "Not something I want to think about, McGee."

"Sorry, boss."

"That's fine," the director said.  "He didn't have any warning?"

Tony lifted his head.  "I came home Friday night to a note on the door.  Since I spent Wednesday and Thursday nights here working...."  He put his head back down.  "I'll stay late tonight, I usually do."

"That's fine, Agent DiNozzo.  Did you get totally moved?"  He nodded.  "Are your roommates arranging things?"

He lifted his head.  "Xander owns the house I'm moving into.  He's a very good friend.  Speed is a CSI out of Miami who recently got shot.  He's another friend of Xander's and he's up for some recovery time.  Speed and I both helped Xander build the house since he expanded it by about five hundred percent."  He gave her a look.  "I'm filling out the official paperwork next week, once I'm sure I can stand being there full time and it'll work for work problems."

"That's fine.  You might also consider a lint roller."

"I have three, I couldn't find them."  He looked at the spot she pointed at.  "Not even the sheepdog."  He put his head back down.  "Before you ask, I'm caught up with all my paperwork, ma'am, and we don't have a new case yet.  It's this or I'm surfing spanking websites again."  She walked off.  He looked over at Gibbs.  "You mind?"

"No.  You're caught up.  You got everything?"

"Yup.  Even managed not to kill myself lifting my big screen down the stairs.  Didn't let Xander put it next to the fireplace either.  Speaking of, he needs that number for the firewood guys again.  He lost it."  He put his head back down, going back to sleep.

Gibbs shook his head, writing Xander an email.  Including how you were supposed to cut firewood from the dead trees around the house.  He had a lot of those.  He got back an outline for the garage plans and had to point out they looked a bit funny, that two large bays would go just as well and give Speed plenty of room for his bike to pull in.  Plus if he wanted to he could add a storage area above it.  Xander redid the plans and sent them back, then asked where you would buy a normal axe.  The one he had was crappy - his words.  Gibbs sent back an 'I like it but it could be wider openings' and to find a good hardware store.  Maybe even a chainsaw and an axe.  He got back a simple smiley face. "Xander's working on the garage plans," he said.

McGee smiled.  "If he ever decides to move, he's going to have no problem selling that house."

"He'd find another wreck and do it again," Gibbs told him.

Tony lifted his head.  "Even if Speed decides he wants to stay in Miami permanently Xander's said he's not moving.  He said so."  He put his head back down then sat up a minute later. "I guess I'm rested."  He got to work on the change of address form, sticking it in his desk for the week waiting period.  Then he turned on his computer to play online.  He found the garage plans, frowning at them.  "That won't look right."

"The second one, DiNozzo," Gibbs said.

He found that one and nodded.  "I like that one better."  He checked the rest of the mail.  "HR sent out a memo about dress code."

"Ignore it.  I make the dress code for my team," Gibbs told him.

"Ignored," Tony agreed.  He deleted it and got back to everything else.  "And a second one."  He read it over.  "Hats?"

"You have to wear it on scenes," Gibbs said.  "They look bad in the office."

"Of course.  Not like I usually wear them around the office, boss."  He deleted it and came to a last one.  "Huh.  Spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends may not drop by the office to bring you lunch, take you to lunch, or otherwise come up to the office."  He looked at Gibbs.

"As long as they're not distracting you.  I wouldn't care if you brought Speed up to try to recruit him, DiNozzo."

"Good to know.  It's okay if they stop by to see if I can go to lunch?"

"It's helping with Speed's physical therapy.  You give him hope he'll get back to normal."  He waved a hand. "You know where I stand.  Those rules haven't changed."

"Yes they have," the director said as she came back.  "I do not think...."

"His roommate is the reason we got the Initiative case, Director," Gibbs said blandly.  "One of them is a CSI I can see us recruiting if he can get back to full abilities.  With one in physical therapy I don't care if they come to take him to lunch as long as I'm giving him a lunch at that time and he's not doing anything else.  I would expect them to call first."

"Which is reasonable and Xander does," Tony agreed.

"As long as that continues *my* rules haven't changed," Gibbs told them.  They both nodded and got back to work.  "Speaking of clothes, DiNozzo...."

"Wasn't unpacked yet and I can't fit into Xander's, boss.  I'll be in something else tomorrow."

"That's fine."  His phone rang.  "Gibbs."  He listened then smirked.  "That would be a bad thing, yes.  Any other suggestions?"   He nodded.  "That could work.  Thank you, Xander."  He hung up.  "DiNozzo, he did laundry for you.  Speed grounded him to the house for the day and the dogs aren't playing with him.  Also, you might check your email.  He found something out about a case of yours."  Tony got into his email, then giggled.  "Exactly.  He offered to ruin them for you but I thought that might be a bad thing."

"Probably, yeah.  It does give me a lead however.  Remind me to pick up sweets on the way home, boss.  Since it's cold want me to take Probie with me?"

"Go."  They headed out together, Tony briefing McGee on the way down to the garage.  Gibbs looked at the director.  "I don't care, Jen.  I make the rules on my team.  DiNozzo is making sure a very bright CSI gets back to his team if at all possible.  If it helps and I'm not having him do anything he can go to lunch.  The same as I determine my team's dress code."  She walked off.  He called Ducky.  "When DiNozzo gets back, talk to him about the muscle strain he's been having in his back," he said quietly.  "Last weekend and then this weekend he had to move suddenly.  They're out on a cold case Xander found a lead on.  Thanks, Ducky."  He hung up and got back to his own cold cases.

***

Tony walked into the house that night.  "I'm under orders to rest my back tonight."

"We can tie you down," Speed offered.  "That way you can't get hurt."

Tony gave him a kiss.  "That's not a bad idea but I'm exhausted."

"Go take a hot bath.  I'll bring dinner up."  Tony grinned and headed up there.  "Let him sleep too.  It took me nearly forever to get him down for a nap."  He went back into the kitchen, shaking his head.  He felt really naughty being with Xander and Tony.  He heard a knock right before the dogs went nuts.  "What?"  He walked out that way, finding a woman at the door.  "I'm not in the mood to buy crap, lady.  Sorry."

"I'm not here to sell things, I'm the director at NCIS.  Gibbs seems to think that you might be open to being recruited."

"I'm still thinking about that."  He stared at her.  "I'm letting Gibbs talk to me when I've got more energy.  He can pimp his own program very well, ma'am.  He and Horatio can square off and argue over me too.  Xander threatened to sell popcorn."  She didn't look amused.  Especially not when Roger came over to sniff her.  "That's Gibbs' boss, Roger."  The dog growled.  "It's nice meeting you but it's still up in the air until I finish my physical therapy.  Then I'll let Gibbs try to get me.  Until then I'm going to be lucky if I can use that hand."  She nodded.  "But do have a nice day."  Tony peeked down the stairs.  "Your director, Tony."

"I'm naked, what does she need?"

"Wanted to come pimp NCIS to me."

"Gibbs said that was my job."  He walked off.  "I'm working on my back again."

"That's fine.  Steaks for dinner."  He looked at her again.  "Can I help you with anything else, ma'am?"

"No.  I think I know everything I need."

Speed smirked.  "I doubt it."

"Are you saying that you're not in a relationship with my agent?"

"No, I'm in a relationship with Xander.  Tony lives with us.  He and Xander have been friends since they met.  Now, anything else before I help Tony file a discrimination suit against you because he knows a bisexual male?"  She stomped off.  He slammed the door.  Then he called Gibbs.  "Guess who came out to pimp your program."  He nodded.  "Yup and she accused us of corrupting Tony.  I told her Xander and I were together. That Tony just lived here.  Because I know the military's viewpoint, Gibbs."  He snickered.  "That's fine.  Thanks.  Thought you should know."  He hung up, going back to the kitchen. When he was done he carried them upstairs, letting them have dinner in the bathroom.  Even if the dogs did beg often.

***

Gibbs walked up the stairs the next morning, going into the director's office.  "Lay off DiNozzo.  I know very well he's living with a committed couple.  We've been over to their house.  Xander's asked my advice since he did the greatest majority of the work on the house himself.  If you don't like DiNozzo knowing a committed gay couple, that's your problem.  Everyone in this office knows DiNozzo's a hole hunter, Jen.  Always with women. Nearly every single woman.  Don't believe me, ask.  Just leave my people alone."  He walked off again.  "DiNozzo, you'd better not be sleeping."

"I'm not, boss, I'm scraping tape off my desk," he said, looking up.  "Someone put evidence tape all over my desk."  He let him see.

"Get the tape remover."  He held up the razor blade he was using.  "The spray stuff."

"Doesn't work on this.  It was glued on.  Abby's mixing me something but it'll be a few.  I'm removing the extra tape."

"Any idea why?"

"Not a clue.  I noticed some on Probie's desk," he said with a nod.  Gibbs looked then growled.  "Any on yours, boss?"

"No.  Which means it's ...."  Fornell appeared.  "Did you tape his desk up?"

"Our people did."  He looked at Tony.  "Agent DiNozzo, what do you know about a hacker named Elf Lord Vargas?"

"Quite a lot.  Including that he's not doing anything that would've gotten your attention," he said, getting back to work.

"We know he's out in Alexandria."

Tony looked at him but shook his head.  "No he's not."

"Yes, he is."

"Then he's a poser using his ID.  Vargas works for NCIS."

"I'm aware of that.  I need a way to prove which was him."

"As another hacker has said recently there's dozens of styles of hacking, Fornell.  Including signatures," Gibbs pointed out.

"You know another one?  Ours hack in the same manner from what they admitted to."

"Yeah, we know one named Jeeves."

"I've heard good things about him.  He's legal."  Gibbs nodded.  "Do I know his usual identity?"

"You met him once," Tony admitted, giving him a look.  "Did they *have* to do this to my desk?"

"No, they had fun doing it to your desk."  Abby and McGee came up with a set of spray bottles.  "We should talk."

"Someone's using ELV's ID to do stuff from Alexandria," Tony told them.

"Really?" McGee asked.  "That's funny, I don't live out there."

"We know," Fornell told him.

"Xander said he had to smack someone in that game where he got information," Tony offered.  "It could be the same kid."

"It could be," McGee agreed.  "Which game?  There's a few of them."

"Something about a gelding trying for a stallion."

"The centaur game.  Someone's going to die if they bother some of them.  I could call Rosenburg."

"I'd rather you not," Gibbs said firmly.  "Figure out how they got your ID."

"If they managed to get into the game they're at least little kid hackers, boss," McGee said.  "If I'm right, they're doing it to discredit someone."

Tony called Xander.  "Can you please send McGee everything you have on the gelding you had to smack on the head?  Someone's using ELV's ID."  He smiled at McGee.  "Thanks, Xander."  He hung up, leaning back.  "Not only has the kid been found, he tried to use Huntress's ID?"   McGee shuddered.  "He sounded *very* happy about it."

"If she gets him we won't even get pieces," McGee assured him.  He sat down at his computer, then got up and moved Tony from his, sitting down to get into his.  "Mine's missing the hard drive, boss."  He got into the game interface, frowning.  "It's blocked."

"The director had it blocked last night to aid us," Fornell admitted.

McGee looked at him.  "Then how does she expect us to find him?"

"It was her decision, we didn't ask."

McGee called Xander.  "I need your laptop please.  Thank you."  He hung up and called another number.  "Huntress, Elf Lord Vargas.  I know that.  Jeeves said someone's been using your ID too?  That's what I'm working on right now.  I want the guy and I am a Fed.  Please.  I'm at NCIS.  You can send it to Jeeves, he's coming in to help me.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "She'll play along."  He looked at Fornell.  "Yes, I do know most of the ones in DC and she's LEO out by Xander actually."  The director showed up.  "If you don't unblock it I can't find out who's been using the ID I use to hack for NCIS, director."  She looked stunned so he looked back. "How do you think Abby and I get information?  It comes ...."  Gibbs covered his mouth.  "I'm emotional, I'll calm down," he assured him.  "I didn't mean to snap at you, Director.  It won't happen again."   Xander came off the elevator.  "That was fast."

"I was with Helena of Troy.  She's *pissed* in all caps."  He handed over his laptop.  "We were going after the guy.  He's not in Alexandria, that's where his server is sitting.  She's waiting for you to log onto my system."  McGee nodded, doing that.  Xander hooked up his cellphone and hit a number.  "Hook me into Tony's system please."  The director spluttered.  "Shut up.  I'm not under your command.  I'm here to help McGee clear his name since *someone* let the hacker into her system to change all your security codes.  By the way, your budget got coopted last night as well.  You might wanna ask Abby to find it for you since I can't.  They're using her style of hacking."  McGee moved so Xander could have Tony's computer after logging him in.  He got onto one site then into a site that came up all black and dark blue.  "None of you see this.  I can be skinned alive if I show you this.  This is demonic before anyone asks."

He typed in his password, finding it had been eaten.  He giggled and typed in an admin passcode, getting in and going off.  "Ah, the benefits of knowing Rosenburg's style too."  He got where he wanted, nudging her to go away, that they were dealing with a hacker who cheesed everyone locally in DC off, including Elf Lord Vargas.  Her character shuddered but left it to him.  He got to do what he did best.  He wreaked havoc.  By the time he was done there were sixteen demonic hackers looking for her too.  Then he backed out and signed in as someone else, going to another section of the server.  "That's a shame," he said happily.  "Pity."  He got into the hacker's areas, finding her.  "Got her.  She's in LA routing through Miami."  McGee looked over so he sent it to him.  "It's in my email."

McGee got into it, nodding.  "Got her.

Xander looked up.  "How much vengeance can I get?"

Fornell and Gibbs looked at each other.  "What can you do, kid?"

"Well, I have a bomb that Willow designed.  It'll take anyone out of every single system in the world."  They gaped.  "So she won't exist.  Ever.  That'll drive her nuts.  Or it can put her into *every* system in the world.  Since she's in LA I can have her eaten," he offered, thinking about it.  "That'll take two favors being called in.  Or there's another thing I could do.  You want her begging, right?"

"If she's in LA make her go to the local office there, kid," Fornell ordered. "With the information on what she's done with the other ID's so we can weed them out."

Xander shrugged and printed off a file.  "You mean that?"  He handed it over.  Then he got to work.  He let out an evil chuckle, making McGee shudder in horror.  "Well, I can safely say I can afford the new garage."  He finished doing what he was doing and moved onto another screen.  "I'm sending the email order now, McGee."

"Sure.  I can back that up.  Found her old hacking group too.  She used to be part of .... oooh, Fornell."  He came over to look over his shoulder.  "Wasn't that an NSA project?"

"Yup."

"Pity," Xander repeated.  He finished it and sent it, checking his watch.  "Hey, Gibbs, can I grab a soda from the machine?"

"Go ahead.  It's up the hall, Xander."

"Thanks, man.  By the way, I'm going to wipe Tony's hard drive after this.  Some of the things I was using were a bit... odd.  Like Initiative was nice compared to them odd."  He walked off, grabbing a soda from the machine, kissing Abby on the cheek when he ran into her.  "I'm wiping Tony's machine in about ten minutes."

"Why?"

"Someone was using ELV's ID and a few others to make trouble.  We're sending a message."  He walked back and found Fornell going through his laptop.  He took it from him, handing it back to McGee.  "I don't hack for shits and giggles, Fornell.  I do help law enforcement and I'm helping bring down some really evil lawyers who're trying to end the world.  Not like I'm going to run into your duties."  He sat down and popped the soda, seeing her trying to fix her own computer. He chuckled again and sent a reminder.  She sent back a shriek so he sent in very simple language where she was going to go.  If they told his contacts she had went there and confessed, he'd see about renewing her computer.  Until then....  He let it trail off when her computer shut down.  A new window opened and he typed in a 'hi' then got the other three screens he had opened.  A few clicks of the mouse, a few numbers typed in, and her life was ruined.  He finished his soda, smiling at the name of the person typing at him.  "Hmm.  Someone in Miami caught her routing through the PD servers."  He typed in what was going on, where he was, not saying that he was or wasn't an agent, but that they were fixing a hacker who had hacked an official Federal hacker at NCIS, then he gave him the same information and where she was going to go.  He looked at Fornell.  "I'd call and warn them."  He wrote down the address.  "I told her to go there."

"That's an agent's home address.  How did you get that?"

Xander grinned.  "I saved his ass a few summers ago.  He was kinda drunk so I drove him home after making sure he didn't die of being drunk."

"Oh."  He nodded weakly.  "Are you going to restore her things?"

"If the NSA wants her back, they can undo the bomb I used.  She can't, it's an admin level bomb."  He looked at McGee, who was chuckling.  "Huntress having a good day?"

"Now," he agreed.  "I sent her what you did and she's giggling like she's on 'shrooms according to her."

"Good.  I like making people happy."   Xander grinned at him.  "Nearly done?"

"Yeah.  How bad is Tony's machine going to be?"  He saw the smoke starting.  "No.  Xander!"

"Had to.  Sorry.  It can be redone.  I promise it isn't eating the drive.  Just the dust in there."  He took back his laptop when McGee handed it over, kissing him on the temple.  "If you need me, call me again."  He smiled at Gibbs, shaking his hand.  "You too."  He nodded at Fornell.  "Can I have the money for the sale of my collection now?  I noticed you guys blocked it and I've got to build a garage."

Fornell nodded slowly.  "Sure.  I saw your collection, I can do that," he agreed.  "He was stupid to note it was for the sale of weapons for a collection."  Xander beamed and hugged him then bounced out.  "How...?" he asked.

"Before you figure that out, there's a hacker named Rosenburg, she raised him," Tony told him.  "He grew up out in Sunnydale, which is why he helped stop the Initiative.  They didn't think he could do much of anything either.  She still probably doesn't think he can do anything."  He looked around.  "Abby?"  She came off the elevator with a box.  "Stuff to redo my harddrive?"

"Yup, sure is.  It'll take me a few hours so use Kate's computer please."

"I can do that.  Boss?"

"Works for me, DiNozzo."  He looked at McGee, then Fornell.  "Can he have his harddrive back too?"

"Sure," Fornell agreed, nodding.  "Can I forget I came here?"

"Sure, but in payment Xander is helping stop a multi-national law firm called Wolfram and Hart," Tony said.  "They're complicit in multiple conspiracies and homicides, plus jury rigging and trying to rule the world using the methods that Xander used to fight.  If you can find something he would like it before they start the next bad thing off and he has to get sucked in again.  It'll make Speed happy too."

"That I can do," he agreed, calling LA.  "It's Fornell.  You have a wanted hacker on her way to your address.  She was using the ID of some hackers in the Federal database and some others who do legal things.  She'll say something about an Elf Lord Vargas sending her."

"Or Jeeves," Tony offered.

"Or possibly someone named Jeeves."  He smirked.  "Yes, I just met him.  He's a very bouncy young man.  Why?"  He nodded.  "He said he does that.   He also said he's working against a law firm named Wolfram and Hart, which has an office in your neck of the woods.  That was his fee for helping catch her.  Apparently they do things like arrange for murders and to rig trials.  Yes, them.  I'm at NCIS.  She was using one of their agents, who hacks for the department, to get into other things.  It nearly made us arrest the agent.  Yeah, thanks."  He hung up and got away from the increasing smoke.  "Should it be doing that?"

Abby looked then nodded. "Yeah, no one's blown out the dust.  He overheated the hard drive so it's burning the dust."  She smiled at McGee.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine.  Xander and Huntress were working on it before I got told.  You might need to check my harddrive, or I can, when they give it back."

Fornell called.  "It's Fornell.  Situation solved.  It was someone using his ID to gain access to things.  No, she's sorry now.  He called in another hacker who works for the department now and then.  The one who hacked the Initiative when they got a friend.  Yeah, him.  Thank you.  We'll wait here for you to bring it back."  He hung up.  "Whoever the girl is my lab rat said she's pretty."

"That's my sister," he said quietly.  That got a nod.  "I will kill."

"Not an issue.  He's gay too."

"There seems to be a rash of that going around," Abby said with a grin for Gibbs.  The director gasped and wobbled.  She gave her a concerned look.  "Director, do you need a paramedic?"

"No," she said weakly.  "Jethro, how well do you know Mr. Harris?"

"Well enough."  He looked at her.  "He's still in a very firmly committed relationship, Jen."

"Good," she said, sounding a bit stronger.  "Is there anything else I need to be aware of?"

"We need that hacking access back for cases," Abby told her.  "McGee and I both pull hacking duties for the department at least once a month, ma'am."

"Fine," she agreed.  "I'm going to forget this morning ever happened."  She went up to her office but she found herself locked out.  She tried MTAC but she was out of the system.  "She removed me!" she yelled.

"I'll get you back in later on, after I fix these two computers," Abby called.  "You might want to call the SecNav, Gibbs, to see what she changed the security codes to."  He nodded, moving to do that.  "McGee."  She punched him on the arm.  "What was he doing?"

"He was in this one screen that was all black and navy blue.  I couldn't see a thing.  He said one thing was demonic."  She just nodded at that.  "You know, he was worried you'd hiss at him."

"I'd never hiss at him.  He protected people, McGee."  She punched him on the arm again.  "Xander is a fluffy puppy.  I only want to cuddle him and his dogs and his cat."   She smiled at Fornell.  "Have you seen pictures of his house?  He did a *fabulous* job.  It's a beautiful house and now he's adding a garage and a back porch so we can have cookouts during the summer.  Though he's going to be working construction then."  She got back to work.  "Wow, he really wiped it.  Totally demagnetized it."  She sighed and shook her head.  "Tony, I'll need to replace it after all.  I can probably undo it but it might not work the best ever afterward.  We buy the cheap harddrives.  He must think we bought the good ones."

"Xander would buy the good stuff," Tony agreed.  "His computer is.  By the way, Fornell, consider him a ghost.  He'll do it if we ask but otherwise he's not doing anything against anyone but the bad guys."

"I heard about the thing in Arizona.  Did they tell him to hide the funds?"

"The lead agent said he didn't care if Xander kept them since he handed over so much information on that group and then the others around them.  Thanks to that arrest, Reagan and he found another cartel connection and they got to shut it down."  He grinned.  "Which should make Horatio proud down in Miami since it was one of their citizens."

"At least he's helpful," Fornell admitted.   "If he ever turns not, I'm going to remember him again."

"That works for him too."

"Tell him I said to play with the dogs, it'll calm him down," Gibbs ordered.

"I'm not on with him boss.  I'm on with Speed.  He's already out playing with the dogs.  They're building snowmen for crossbow practice.  The dogs are loving it."

Fornell shook his head.  "I don't need to know those things."  He walked off, deciding to let his agent handle it.  He needed the experience.  Fornell needed a drink.  Even if it was nine in the morning he needed a drink.

Gibbs looked at his guys.  "Let's try for business as normal from now on.  Can we?"

"I'm not hacking, boss," Tony said smugly.

"No, you're living with one."

"Yes, but I've been making him not work on the Wolfram and Hart problem."  Gibbs shook his head.  "I have."

"I don't need to know that."

"Won't happen again, boss," he said with a bright, happy grin.  "Hey, Probie, since you're without anything to do, wanna make a coffee run?"

"Sure, Tony.  Boss?"

"I could use a cup," he agreed.  He handed over money, Tony handed over money.  Abby handed over money too.  "Have a good walk, McGee."

"Yes, boss.  Thanks."  He walked off, going to get them their caffeine of choice.  He needed a good walk.

***

Tony walked into the house and grabbed Xander, kissing him deeply.  "I love you."  Xander gave him a shocked, almost horrified, look.  "You sent Fornell to drink at nine in the morning. You proved yourself *so* good today.  I'm *impressed*, Xander.  I'm so impressed.  You were so good."  He gave him another kiss, shoving him against the wall to kiss.  "I'm so impressed and you rock me."

Xander looked at him.  "Is that the only reason you love me?"

Tony grinned.  "No, I figured out that I could love you a while ago.  You're sweet, sexy, bouncy, smart, hiding that you're smart but very smart, and you're wonderful."  He kissed him again.  "You and Speed make me happy and want to do stupid things, like announce it to the director."  Xander gave him a gentle, shy grin.  "Just accept that I do and we'll work on the whys later, Xander."  He kissed him again.

"No mugging Xander without me," Speed called.  "At least watching."

"I can molest and mug him in there," Tony promised, walking him that way.

"Dinner!" Xander said, jogging for the kitchen.  "Ha!  Didn't burn it this time!" he said proudly, taking the meat out to rest on top of the stove.  He looked at the pets then put a cover over it.  "Just so you three don't get any ideas."  He went back to the study, pouncing Tony from the doorway.  "Okay, I'm done.  Roast is on top of the stove."  He took his first kiss, wiggling over Tony's trapped body.  "Mine."

"Yours," Tony moaned, tipping his head back.  Xander let out a wicked chuckle, making Tony very hard.  "Oh, God, I love you when you're wicked.  I nearly jumped you in the office when you were destroying that hacker."  Xander nipped his ear, making him shiver.  "I liked that."  Xander did it again but now his pelvis was thrusting against Tony's.  "Xander," he moaned.  He finally came and went limp, Xander moving to clean him up.  He even lifted his hips so Xander could move his pants out of the way.  "Speed, you're going to die later."

"I'll die happy.  Just like you did, Tony."

"I definitely did."  Xander kissed him again.  "Hmm.  Dinner can wait.  Need to make you pass out too."  He moved to tease and play with Xander's cock, finally getting the pants out of his way.  "Commando, naughty boy.  I thought you were earlier."

"I was," Xander said with a wicked grin.  "I couldn't feel it this morning so I decided some fresh air might revive my poor, tired, stretched out hole."  Speed moaned at that.  "It was so numb from you two last night I'm just now getting a tingling feeling back."  Tony whimpered.  "I think I need to stop the tingling.  Don't you?"

"I do," he agreed, taking Xander's pants all the way off, tossing them onto a couch.  He found Speed had the lube open and waiting on him.  "That's what I need."  He took it and spread some on his fingers, preparing him quickly.  He slid in as soon as he could, making them both groan.  He pulled Xander's legs up and rode him hard, grinning down at him.  "I wanted to do this in the office when you went wicked this morning," he panted.  "Speed, he even *cackled* and made Fornell drink."

"I'm proud."  He undid his pants, plugging Tony's mouth with his cock.  "Do more, Tony. You look good like that."  Tony did and it was good.  Xander didn't get off but that was fine.  Speed took his place, sliding into the damp hole.  "I knew I held off until tonight for a reason."  He heard a clatter from the kitchen.  "Tony, go shoo the cat out of the cookies."  Tony leaned out and growled, making her leap off the counter.  Speed worked Xander's body slower, making him ache and beg, making him babble at him until he finally got off.  "That's my boy," he praised, letting himself go after a few short, hard thrusts.  He leaned down to kiss him.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  Xander flipped them over, cuddling him.  "Should've made it onto the couch."

Speed chuckled.  "Maybe," he agreed, giving him a squeeze.  "Tony, want to cuddle?"

"I'm going to get a washcloth to clean us up."  He went to do that.  He came back, wiping gently.  Then he laid behind Speed's back, cuddling him.  "He needs it.  He didn't get to see you being evil," he said at Xander's look over Speed's shoulder.

"I don't do it often."

"Which is why it made me so hot," Tony agreed.

Xander blew a kiss.  "I'll keep it rare so I don't really die from the great sex."  Speed snickered and nodded.  He kissed them both.  "Did they get into dinner?"

"Yup," Tony agreed. "We'll try to salvage some of it.  Or I'll order pizza."

"Pizza's nice," Speed agreed.  The computer beeped.  "Crap, I was on with Eric."

Xander got up and wandered over, seeing the frantic calls.  He typed in 'tony came home with issues over Xander being evil and mean today.  On the floor cuddling.  Brb 30 mins' then he left it there.  He walked back there, getting back into his spot.  "I told him to give you thirty minutes because Tony had issues about me being mean and evil."

"Yes, and that issue is now sated, happy, and hungry."  Tony pulled out his phone, then patted Xander down.  "Phone?"  Xander mumbled and it came flying in.  "Thanks."  He dialed the local pizza place.  "Supreme good, Speed?"

"No olives."

"Works for me," Xander agreed.

"Hey, it's Xander's house.  Yeah, us.  Supreme,  no olives, two please.  No, the dogs ate the roast we had resting.  Sure, I can do that.  Thanks, ma'am."  He hung up.  "They'll bring it out to the bottom of the driveway in forty."  Xander groaned.  "I'll walk."

"You've had two, I had one, and I'm younger," Xander offered.  Tony found his wallet and tossed it over.  "How much?"

"Thirty."

Xander pulled that out, giving them each a kiss before pulling on his pants and going to find out how bad the kitchen had been messed up.  He jogged out at the honk, only sliding a little bit.  He paid the driver, got the tip from his own wallet, and took the pizzas with a cheery wave for the nice teenager.  He walked back in.  "Food!" he called.  The dogs barked.  "You two've already eaten," he said, frowning at them.  "No more getting into the people food."  He put the pizzas on the end table in there, then went to get sodas.  He came back, helping his poor, tired lovers off the floor, letting them settle in on the couch with him between them.  The computer beeped so Speed groaned and went to start chatting again.

"Tell him I'm making you eat food," Tony offered.

"I did.  He's laughing."  He came back for his pizza and kisses, going back to the computer. "H said hi, guys."

"Hi," they said, waving at the computer.  Speed typed in shaking his head.

Tony stole a kiss from Xander, smiling at him.  "We made the director drink, Fornell drink, and you should have the money from that sale of the old weapons tomorrow."  Xander smiled.  "Now, what did you steal off her?"

"Everything she had on her system.  I made copies and mailed you one on the way back."  Tony smiled at that.  "I had to buy a few DVDs."

"That's fine.  Anything we can use?"

"Lots and lots. Including how she tampered with some evidence in LA and Miami.  She was in school down there until the NSA got her."  He stole another kiss.  "I sent a DVD set down to Horatio too."

"I'll let Eric know that.  Did you send it to the lab?"  Xander nodded.  Speed typed that in.  "He said thanks.  He wants pictures of you two."

"As long as I've got at least a little bit of clothes on," Xander said with a wink at him.

Speed looked at him.  "He might get jealous.  I'll save those for my house."  Tony looked at him.  "I'm going to try, Tony, but I'm not sure if I can stay down there or not."

"We could use you, Speed.  Gibbs would drill you in guns, but we could use you."

"I want to see Gibbs and Horatio have a stare-down over him," Xander said.

"That's almost an evil thought," Speed admitted.

"Give me time before he has another evil one," Tony ordered.  "I need time to recover."  He ate a bite of sausage.  Xander kissed him and stole a mushroom.  "Hey!"  He took one of Xander's.  "Eat more of your own."

"I could nibble you."

"I still need time to recover.  Speed's the one with the amazing recovery speed."  Xander leered at Speed.

"Oh, no.  I'm still soft, Xander.  You eat more pizza and we'll play with you later in the tub."  Xander let out a small whoop and got another piece of pizza to eat.  He'd need the energy.  Speed typed in something to Eric, making him snicker.  "I told him about your desire to see Gibbs and Horatio stare each other down.  He said to steal me for real and you'd get it."

"I can magic all your stuff up here," Xander offered.  "You might have to get the bike though."

"We'll work that out if I stay up here instead of commuting to be with you."  Xander grinned. "Eat more, Xander.  Oh, Eric was complaining that Anya made his stamina grow too."

"I was like this before Anya," Xander said smugly.  "That's how I kept up with her demands.  How is he doing with the demand for four or more orgasms a night?"

Speed typed that in and Eric moaned.  Speed laughed.  "He sent back a moan.  Oh, and now it's 'toys good'.  Should I tell him anything about her?"  Xander got up with a small moan, coming over to type something in about his ex that had went to Miami.  Speed watched Xander's butt flex while he typed since he was bent over his lap.  Eric sent back another moan.  Xander cackled and kissed Speed, sneaking a bite of his pepperoni.  "Mine.  Go eat your own."  He swatted him.  "Go eat, Xander."  Xander walked back to the couch, curling up against Tony's side while he nibbled his own piece of pizza.  "We can't play in the tub unless you eat."  Xander inhaled that piece and got another one.  "Good boy."  He smiled at the screen, going back to talking to Eric about the friend stuff.  He even gave him a way to dump her without her being able to claim she was hurt by him so she could get her powers back.  Xander started to shift so Speed wrapped it up and came over to pull Xander up.  "Go run us some bubbles."  Xander whooped and headed upstairs, going to start the big tub.

Tony shook his head.  "We created a sex fiend."

"I did," Speed agreed happily.  "A very good one."  He hauled Tony up, taking the pizzas with him.  They could nibble after they had their next romp too.

***

Speed walked into his lab the day after he got back, looking around.  "Nothing seems to have changed," he said.  Calleigh squealed and gave him a hug.  "Ow!  I've got bruises there, Calleigh.  Xander squeezed too hard."   She smiled at him, swatting him gently.  "I'm seeing if I'm back."

"We'll have to steal you if you go back up there," she complained.

"Yeah, but they're up there."

"They?"  She gave him a look.  "They?"

"You scarily look like Alexx at the moment. Where's everyone else?"

"The break room hiding."  She walked him that way.  "Look who I pounced."

Horatio smiled at Speed.  "Welcome back."

"Horatio, he said he's seeing if he's staying."

"Calleigh, he has found a worthy lover."

"He said they, Horatio."

"They?  Really?" Eric asked, smirking at him.

"Like I didn't tell you."

"You didn't tell me," Alexx pouted.  Speed gave her a hug.  "They?"

"Remember Xander?"

"Hearing you talk about Xander.  I wasn't here the day he was almost arrested for being himself.  He even hid when I came to visit you in the hospital."   Speed sighed and pulled out pictures to show her.  "Well, he's adorable!  Who's the other guy?"

"Tony DiNozzo.  NCIS agent.  We both helped Xander with the house."  She smiled at him.  "It's a beautiful job, Alexx."  He handed over pictures of that and the dogs and cat.  "The cat's Queen Scruffy.  Xander said he took her home because she reminded him of me."

"She certainly does," Horatio agreed, smiling at him.  "They could come down here."

"Tony likes his job.  Xander's got the huge house.  Tony said if he had to quit we'd start a consulting firm since he does the same job."

Horatio patted him on the back.  "Then your Xander would get his wish of Gibbs and I facing off over you living up there."

"We could live down here part of the year," Speed teased.  "Then it'd seem very naughty to Xander."

Alexx gave him a hug.  "I want to meet these boys."

"Next big holiday he said we could all go up there."

"Good!"  She patted him on the cheek.  "We've got food and cake coming, sweetie.  Sit down, let us baby you."

"I'm fine, Alexx.  I did all my PT, I took a lot of walks around the woods with the dogs."

"You had to pounce Xander to keep him from being bored," Eric teased.

"You knew!" Calleigh complained.

"Yeah, I was chatting with him when Xander got pounced.  He had to take a break to help."  He looked at Speed.  "It worked by the way."

"Good job."  He let Eric have the pictures of the house.  "It used to be this half-house, like when they move houses and have to cut them in half.  He built around it and took out the original walls.  Now they're doing a garage with a storage area."  Horatio made him sit down.  "I'm really fine.  I've got the paperwork clearing me and everything."

"Let's take that slowly, sweetie.  We don't want to tire you out," Alexx offered.

Speed looked at her.  "What do you think Xander did?"  She laughed and swatted him.  "Really!  Even the sheepdog kept trying to wear me out.  Though, I have found someone who dresses worse than I did when I was a level one CSI.  I'm in love with Xander, I don't know why but I love him in spite of his wardrobe.  New or old.  Tony tried but well, it's Xander."

Eric patted him on the back.  "You'll straighten him out like we did your clothes," he promised.  Speed showed him a picture, making him nod.  "Yup, I remember you having many shirts like that when I first met you, Speedle.  Damn."

Horatio laughed, shaking his head.  "Dressing like that is a fault of the young, Eric.  We fixed Speed's clothes, we can fix Xander's when Speed brings him down."

"Then what'll Tony do?" Speed asked.

Horatio looked at him.  "We might be able to work that out."

"Uh-huh.  We all want popcorn when you and Gibbs talk about this stuff, H.  Really, we do.  There's even enough room at the house for visitors.  He put in four guest rooms."

"So you spent that whole long vacation you took up there helping him build his house?" Calleigh asked.  Speed nodded.  "Wow.  That's an old fashioned way to make a home."

"It is but it was fun too.  He nearly made me fall off a ladder a number of times laughing at some of the stories he told.  Tony did fall off the ladder once he was laughing so hard.  He did everything but the new heater system.  That ended up being replaced after he was finished.  It works very well.  I ran around in boxers for the last week because Xander had the sniffles and had the heat up."

"That's going to be expensive," Calleigh complained.

"Propane heat, Cal.  Plus three fireplaces.  He planted himself in front of one under an old quilt he found somewhere.  He learned how to do firewood and all that good stuff.  He's got a pickup truck now.  Bought it during his first snow storm.  He panicked a bit.  There's enough supplies in the house to last through a good hard month of snow."  One of the techs walked in the food order.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome, Speed.  Good to have you back."  He patted him on the back.  "So, how long before you get back into the field?"

"A few weeks probably.  I'm cleared for lab work."

"As soon as I get it from our doctor down here or Alexx," Horatio ordered.

"Fine," he complained. Calleigh handed him a plate of food.  "Thanks, Cal."

"You're welcome."  She smiled at him.  "I'm happy to have you back."

"I noticed when you pounced me."  She swatted him.  "You pounced and squealed."  He ate a bite.  "Oooh, good food."  He ate another bite.  "Eat, guys."

"Did you get in trouble up there?" Alexx asked.

Speed looked at her. "No comment."

They all gaped. "Excuse me?" Horatio asked.

"Helping Tony, he-who-gets-head-injuries, H.  Other than that, no comment."  He stuffed his mouth again.

"It sounds like I should be calling Jethro," Horatio said, staring Speed down.

"He'll deny that one."

"*That* one?" Eric asked.

"Xander had to handle a zombie that someone woke up in a museum.  I got drug along on that too."  He shrugged.  "That's his thing.  I find him hot when he's using his sword."  He stuffed his mouth again.

"Maybe we should make Xander and this Tony guy move down here," Alexx said, making Calleigh nod.

"They might get into the same trouble down here," Eric complained.  "Then we'd have to see it happening."

Speed grinned.  "Xander offered to hack my parents for me."

"That's nice of him but mean," Alexx reminded him.

"So?  It was a nice offer."

"It was, baby.  Eat anyway.  You obviously got too worn out up there."  Speed snickered, shaking his head but he did go back to eating.  "Did you get to drag them to the museums?"

"I did.  Xander lives just under an hour outside of DC's downtown.  I got to drag him everywhere with me.  We hit all the big museums, found some smaller ones.  Xander found a taste in art that I can stand.  Tony thinks it's a bit surreal but he'll accept it.  Xander threatened to tell his father off for being an asshole too.  He's a very sweet boy, Alexx."

"I'm sure I'll find that out when I get to meet the boy," she promised.  "Do not make me nag, Speedy."

"I'm eating!  You missed it," he said before taking a bite.  "Every time Xander makes a roast something happens.  The first time I got shot so it burned.  The second time the dogs got into it while we were cuddling.  The last time Tony passed out on the couch and Xander forgot it was cooking to fuss over him.  Tony moaned for hours over being fussed over.  It was only a little graze.  Then the dogs got the burned roast, making them happy pooches."  He ate another bite at Horatio's look.  "Any cake?  I had to keep Xander from his sugar habit before he bounced us into traction."

"Again?" Eric teased.

"Nearly.  That night we were chatting it was close."

Horatio added more food to Speed's plate, considering the implications of forcing him to stay in Miami.

***

Jethro looked up from his working on his boat as someone came down the stairs.  "How did you get here, Xander?"

"Tony.  He's waiting outside.  Can you go threaten Horatio so we can have Speed back?"

"Isn't that up to Speedle?" he asked patiently.

"Yeah but they're trying to make him stay.  They think he got into trouble up here."

"I won't even mention the hostage situation, the zombie you two ran into while out running around, or the case where he was helping us and nearly got shot again," Gibbs said dryly.  "Or the one I don't want to think about with the bimbos who wanted to turn you all straight again."

"Not our fault," he pouted.  He sat on the stairs, giving him the dreaded big eyed puppy look and a pout.  "I want my other one back too."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon enough, Xander.  If it's really love you'll work it out."

"We wanted you and Horatio to work it out so we didn't have to be split up.  We wanted popcorn while you guys worked it out but we wanted you two to help us."

"If he comes up I will, Xander."  Xander nodded, still looking miserable.  "You guys will work it out.  If it's love and meant to be you'll work it out."

"But it sucks."

"Yeah," he agreed, looking at him.  "I know you're not used to having anything go your way, that's why you want to cling to him since you found him, but he'll come back, Xander.  You know he will."

"Horatio could get him killed this time."

"I heard it was faulty gun maintenance."

"His firing pin.  Calleigh did an in-depth check and it was."

"That can happen.  He'll come back.  You know he will."

"But I want it to be soon."

"You sound like a toddler."  Xander pouted worse.  "Now you look like one," he said patiently.

"Can't you and Horatio talk?"

"I have once.   I told him Speedle was fine and behaving up here."

"If he comes up can you help him find a job?"

"I can do that."

"Thank you."

"You came all the way out here to pout at me about him being gone and ask me to help find him a job?"  Xander nodded. "You could have called."

"I can't pout over the phone."

"Good point.  You shouldn't pout anyway."  He gave his head a shove.  "Go back to Tony.  Make sure he can make it to work tomorrow."

"Um, too late?" he asked sheepishly.  "Oops."

"That's it, I'm taking custody of DiNozzo."  He walked him up the stairs and outside.  "DiNozzo!"  Tony climbed out of the car with a wince.  "What did you do to yourself?"

"I was cheering him up, boss."

Gibbs pointed inside.  "On the couch, DiNozzo.  All night.  He can drive himself home."

Xander looked at him.  "How do I get home from here?  Tony was driving."

"Go left, hit the main road, hit the highway, you can find it from there," he said patiently walking Xander over to the truck and making DiNozzo go inside. "Night, Xander."

"Night, Gibbs.  Sorry, Tony."

"It's all right, Xander.  I'm fine.  I'll see you tomorrow night."  He waved.  "He'll pout all night at the dogs."

"I still need you able to work."

"As long as I get some sleep I should be fine, boss.  I was the last time."

"The last time you had a nap over lunch."

"Well, yeah, but that was lunch."

"Go inside, DiNozzo."  Tony pouted all the way inside, making him shake his head.  He hated it when his agents fell in love.  They all went funny in the head for a while.  He'd be smacking Tony for the next few months to get him straightened back out.  He went back down to his basement to work on the boat some more, thinking about the idea to call Horatio.

***

Horatio watched Speed wander around the lab like a ghost, frowning at him.  This was not a happy boy.  Alexx was going to scream at him soon.  He watched Eric and the new guy come over to try to get Speed to joke with them, wincing when the new guy did.  It looked like Speed hadn't slept again.  He walked down there, nodding the other boys out.  "Speed, troubles sleeping again?"

"Yeah.  Maybe I need more than the cat."

"I didn't know you had a cat."

"Yeah, I have a junior version of Queen Scruffy at home.  Shorter haired, just as much attitude.  Only mine'll come down off the fridge because there's no sheepdog there to lick her bald."  He leaned on the counter. "It's not like it was."

"I've noticed. You just ripped Eric a new one, Speed."

"Sorry, Horatio."  He looked at him.  "I don't know what's wrong.  I'm like some teenage girl and I hate it about myself."

"I know, but sometimes love can be like that."  He moved closer.  "Did you call them?"

Speed grinned.  "Gibbs made Tony sleep on his couch because Xander made him sore again.  Gibbs even made him drive home alone."

"You're not happy," Horatio said quietly.

"It's not that I'm not happy but I'm not content.  It's...nothing's changed but something so tangible has that I can't identify.  It's not the work, it's not you guys, it's not the injury or only being in the lab.  That all feels the same.  I can't tell what's different."

"You're different, Speed.  What satisfied you before doesn't the same way now."  He shifted a bit closer, smiling a little bit.  "Before it was like you were living on fast food and it was good, it was okay, you could survive.  But then someone showed you a crown roast with all the trimmings.   You can go back to fast food...."

"But it's never the same as the roast."

"It's not."

"I can't ask him to move, H."

"I know, Speed.  If we were closer I'd break the call-in rule for you but Washington's a bit too far away for that."

"Yeah, by days driving."  He shook his head.  "I'm screwed up."

"It's not you, it's the love."

"I don't want to give it up, Horatio.  Any of it."

"Then you've got to live like this, Speed."  Speed shook his head, looking down at the evidence he had been working on.  Horatio patted him on the back.  "I think it's time we all talked a bit.  You and me, Jethro and the boys up there."  Speed frowned at him.  "We don't want to let you go, Speed, so we're going to have to work out something before you quit."

"Can we do that tonight?"

"We can, Speed.  We'll do that tonight.  I'll call Jethro now so he has time to get Xander in on it."

"Without Xander.  He'll get mushy and emotional."  He looked at him again.  "Xander never had so now he clings.  That's why Tony's been so sore recently," he said quietly.  "Even he agreed it's time to make Xander quit pouting for now."

"Love has driven any number of men insane, even the toughest of the tough.  Even guys who've seen combat, Speed.  Especially those who've never had it."  Speed slumped.  "So we need to include him in that and it could help to hear your voice."

"We had phone sex last night, H."

"Beyond that, Speed.  The most fundamental of things is touch."

"He's so cuddly," he said quietly.  "He'll curl into you and use you as a pillow."

Horatio smiled.  "He'll calm down when he realizes it won't leave him."  He patted him again.  "Let me call Jethro.  We'll talk to everyone tonight after shift.  Cases willing."  He walked off, heading up to his office.  He found Calleigh in there.  "I know."

"He's not happy."

"It's not that he's not happy, Calleigh, it's that he had something that moved him to the point of changing him.  Now he's gone cold turkey and it's not helping him very much."

"I'm trying, Horatio."

"There's nothing we can do, Calleigh.  I'm going to call up there to help him and the other two."

"I can't wrap my mind around him having two boys.  I mean, I saw Xander for a few minutes and he was kind of cold to me."

"He told you he reacted poorly to women, Calleigh.  He was in a stressful situation.  Speed just told me he's someone who'll sink into cuddles and use you as a pillow."  She smiled at that.  "I've got it."  She nodded, going back to her lab.  He sat down to call DC.  "Jethro Gibbs please."  He waited.  "McGee?  I asked for Jethro.  Is he going to be in the meeting very long?"   He leaned back, smiling.  "I understand those."  The hissed comment made him shudder.  "I'm so sorry for him, McGee.  No, not a crossover case.  I've got a ghostly Speedle down here who can't sleep.  How's Tony doing?"  The concise 'he's sucking the fun out of the ret of us' made him smile. "Then it seems to be unanimous.  Tell Jethro that I'll call back tonight around five with Speedle here if he can corral Tony long enough.  All right?  Also tell him good luck dealing with that situation.  Thank you, McGee."  He hung up and relaxed, closing his eyes for a minute.  There had to be some solution to the problem.

***

Jethro looked up at the man who walked into his basement.  "You made good time."

"Speed showed me the site Xander uses for travel.  It's much cheaper."  He sat down on the stairs.  "A boat?"

"It's good when I'm feeling frustrated."

"I sit on the beach and stare at the ocean," Horatio admitted.  "I brought Speed up with me.  It'd be cruel otherwise."

"As long as DiNozzo can work tomorrow. We're in the middle of a case."  He looked over then went back to work.  "You came up with a solution?"

"I may have," Horatio told him.   He leaned on his knees.  "Your team does the same job my team does, Jethro."  That got a nod but Gibbs continued to sand.  "The problem is that they're not up to date on what the rest of the forensic world does."  That got him to stop and a heated look.  "I have nearly a decade worth of technology and tricks that can help your team do what mine does."

Gibbs stared at him for a minute.  "So we could do some crosstraining," he said finally.  Horatio nodded.  "That would probably qualify both of us for travel grants through Homeland."

"It would.  I checked with a contact.  I also got told to say my prayers for dealing with you," he said with a slight grin.  "Then I reminded him who I was and he decided it was just as bad down in Miami."  He leaned a little bit forward.  "Your team has no lab experience.  They could use it.  My team has a lot of field experience and a lot of lab experience.  I've got three people who should have a lab team of their own now but no room for it.  By making my team train yours in what we do, or even switching off for a little while if necessary, you'd get our heightened experience.  My team would get new ideas and more access to military fields, which we don't deal with very often.  Now and then we get a veteran but nothing else.  I was thinking we could arrange it so we switched out a member of your team for mine.  Two would probably drive you insane.  You could send one down, I'd send one up.  Probably Eric or Calleigh to start."

"Xander would be destroyed."

"Xander's off work until this spring, correct?"

"He is, but he loves his house."

"Then we could arrange it so Speed comes up first.  He seems to have a history of helping your team."

"Oh, he does, but then I'd have to send you the newbie."

"Send us McGee first, Gibbs.  He's more trained and helping train him will help you train her later.  He told me," he said at the opening mouth.  "Eric would kill her if she has that many harsh edges."  That got a nod.  "Calleigh might as well.  So we'll send Speed up, you'll send us McGee.  Say, six months?"

"I can maybe see that.  Which field is Calleigh in?"

"Ballistics."  That got a smile. "She'll dance and sing if she gets to visit all the artillery up here.  That also means my team can take advantage of some of the advanced training you guys can go to if you want."

"True.  How is she at training?"

"Good.  She helped Speed and I train Eric.  She's training the new guy we've got."  Gibbs snorted.  "Minor OCD."

"Wonderful," he said flatly.

"He jumps into things, it makes him thorough, but so far it hasn't affected anything in the labs.  He's good at what he does.  He spent years in patrol and did his masters at night."

"You expect a lot from your people."

"I do, and with some partial training I can move your guys closer to mine.  Calleigh can show you what we've got down there.  While up here she can help your team, whatever Speed didn't.  I'd go in the order of seniority.  Speed, Calleigh, Eric.  Then you could send yours in the same order.  That way the new people would have the best teaching from a lot of senior sources."

"So, I'd get Speed, you'd get McGee.  Then I'd get Calleigh, you'd get DiNozzo, and I'd get a moping Xander."

"It'd be mostly over the winter," Horatio pointed out.  "He could snow bird."

"He could.  I doubt he'd mind that.  Snow freaked him out that first day.  He told Tony he went to the bank and had a panic attack about stocking up."  Horatio smiled at that.  "That's how he ended up with the ancient pickup truck.  So you'd get McGee while Speed trained us in what he's doing and seeing, plus getting training in.  Then I'd get the cocky female up here."

"Who will not put up with crap from any other woman."

"Which will thrill my director to no end but oh well.  Ziva could use it.  Then we've got to switch DiNozzo down there for six months while I get her.  Then we could do Ziva and Eric?"

"It'll be a gift by that time," Horatio said with a smile.  "We'll work out the trio situation after that somehow I'm sure."

"That could work.  I'll have to propose it to the director.  She thinks Tony just lives with them," he said quietly.

"I've heard.  I also heard how she reacted when she thought you were seeing Xander."  Gibbs snickered and nodded.  Horatio stood up.  "I'm at an indecently expensive hotel downtown.  My bosses like the idea.  For some reason we have a bad reputation for not working with federal agencies very well.  I don't know why," he said with a small smirk.

"They all give up when they hear my name now.  It saves me aggravation," Gibbs offered.  "You think it'll work?"

"For at least a year."

"I could handle that.  Then we'd work it out.  I'll see you tomorrow.  Do you have it in formal speak?"

"I do.  I heard she was a bit political."

"Just a bit, like the boat will almost fit in a bottle," Gibbs agreed.

"I'll keep that in mind.  I've got an appointment at nine."  He smiled as he walked off, letting himself out.

Gibbs considered it then went back to work on his boat.  That would solve all his problems, even if Tony did end up sore a few more times at first.  They could deal with that when it happened.

***

Horatio smiled at the director, shaking her hand.  "Thank you for seeing me, Madam Director."

"It's an interesting proposition.  How did you come up with it?"

"Since my CSI was up here healing, he got to know your best team and helped them a few times.  He noted that your people are scene techs but a bit behind in some areas, but they're ahead of us in others.  Since we are one of the top labs in the country and there are already close friendship ties between us, it was suggested it would be easier this way."

"In other words, Speedle wants to be closer to his boyfriend?" she suggested.

"That is one factor that would have me sending him first, but he also noticed your techs had missed a lot of evidence the scene he worked with them."  She sat up at that.  "My techs are scene techs first and then investigators.  We do a great deal of the investigative work but there was a lot of information that he got that Gibbs wasn't aware could be gotten.  Not that it's a shortcoming of Jethro's.  He's focused on the investigative end more than the scene end."

"Don't yours do more lab work?"

"We do process all our own samples if at all possible.  We also have techs in there for when it's not.  Speedle happens to be one of the top trace techs in the country at this point, especially in soil identification via geographic markers and geology.  Whereas your teams look for things like fingerprints, we find them in much smaller areas, we also pull more of them from scenes to be processed and more varied samples, including fluid samples that he found with a light system that Gibbs' team didn't have access to before that case.  With that new information your teams' solve rates would go up and you could also think about putting some on cold case duties for a while if you wanted to.  It would give my team time to go to some of the lectures and symposiums given by the various federal agencies to keep them the top in their field, but also give them the opportunity to train, which they all do very well, and to do a bit more in the leadership area.  You see, there's not going to be a lab opening for a while, God willing to not have a lab head die, and I've got three ready for some sort of leadership role."

"By sending them up to Jethro he can make sure they lead, yet still learn from them."

"Also, it would help since both our teams have people who're new to the field.  My newest field tech has a masters and patrol experience.  We have talked to Gibbs about Officer David's training and think we could help him teach her what she needs to know for crime scene processing versus investigative work, which is where a normal CSI excels."

"Do your detectives do anything?"

"We do it cooperatively.  We question, we interrogate, we chase down, we arrest the same as the detectives do.  Most of my people are detectives actually."  He smiled a gentle smile. "I prefer my people with patrol experience.  We're thinking within two years we'd have this team to the point where they could easily teach others, and I'm sure if the techs were asked nicely enough they would feel free to teach some forensic lectures for the other teams as well.  I know Calleigh, Speed, and Eric all give some at the local university in Miami.  My newest tech took all three of them over the course of his masters training."

"What's his degree in?"

"A bachelor's in chemistry and a masters in genetics.  He's in trace, the same as Speedle is."  She nodded at that.  "He needs a firm guiding hand at the moment but he needs a bit of a different personality now and then too.  That's why we wanted to switch Speedle for McGee this first switch.  McGee could easily show me where we needed to up our computer techs.  Right now, Mr. Wolfe is handling a case that involves some hacking, even though he doesn't and only one of my techs can in a mild way.  He could help me vet where I needed an opinion and come back with the same knowledge Speedle is giving up here, plus an understanding of how the others work as well.  I have a fairly varied team.  My third in command, Calleigh, is from New Orleans and a top ballistics tech.  She'd be the next one up and we'd switch her for DiNozzo.  We feel by that time the team could use some refinement of what they've been taught.  She's better at the small details whereas Speedle's better at the coddling new techs into doing what they're supposed to in a similar manner as Jethro does."

"He's agreed to this plan?"

"He has.  We agreed to the various switches last night.  If there's going to be a third one I'd give you Eric Delko and we'd get Ziva to finish her education in the finest points of forensics and investigative work, plus letting her work in an ethnically diverse area.  Miami is third to New York for diversity.  Especially in the rich/poor divide."

"How would we fund this plan?"

"Homeland security has tentatively agreed that this would be a trial program worthy of a grant.  That it'd be a way to look at future training methods for inter-departmental work up here.  I know a few other labs who might help with it if asked.  I think Mac in New York's felony lab would if asked.  He's a former Marine sharpshooter as well."  She smiled at that.  "I'm not sure if Gibbs knows him or not, but he also works with a very diverse crowd."

"Ziva's worked in Central Europe before."

"Yes, but to be truthful, did she get along with them?" he asked.  "Jethro has pointed out that she's very...unnatural in her dealings with people of other races.  She's stiff, she doesn't know how to address them.  She often puts others ill at ease during witness statements.  This would help her as much as it would the others.  Since he said you wanted her trained by the best, the combination of the two teams is the best she can get."

"Las Vegas is supposed to be a better lab."

"A more diverse lab.  They and New York's lab do more cases because they have more crime.  Las Vegas is a non-sorted lab, they do both felonies and non-felonies.  New York has a sorted lab but an astronomical crime rate.  We have a lower crime rate and a lot more time to deal with new technology and train others.  We've had a lot of fun training interns in the past, Director.  We enjoy it.  Speedle has enjoyed training Eric and now Ryan.  Calleigh came to us already trained," he said at her opening mouth.  "She came out of New Orleans' system."  She nodded at that.  "Speedle has trained half of the night and swing shift people when they were new.  Calleigh's helped train most of them as well.  They both trained Eric together with me.  If you look at our statistics, we have a very high percentage of solve rates within two weeks time.  That equals your teams, who usually only have one or two cases open at a time.  We generally have five or six apiece but we clear fast and accurately."

"So this would give your team a leg-up in the technology seminars and it would give my teams a boost.  What's the downside?"

He smiled.  "Having to watch Jethro deal with a tech like Calleigh?  Who is very self- assured, doesn't take crap from anyone, and will make sure that everyone around her knows that she's better than any man in the field.  She has in the past.  She's one who had to prove herself a number of times.  She's always done so."

"I can handle that."

"That alone would help your new agent."

"It would," she agreed.  "Ziva could use that sort of example.  Of course, I could counter by sending Tony down there with Ziva."

"Then you'd give her culture shock.  Total immersion is fun but not always productive when you're learning a difficult subject.  She's still getting used to America.  Doing it this way Speedle could coddle her where needed and let Jethro smack her around the other times.  Then Calleigh would do the refining work and help your lab techs up their own lab skills.  I know Abby's the tops in many fields but I've heard you're looking for a new one?  Calleigh is my hiring committee.  She brings them to me and I talk with them.  Her judgement has not failed me yet."

"Interesting.  I have been thinking Abby needed an assistant."

"My techs could take some of that work off her while still helping investigate.  That's what we do."

"Good point.  You've also worked high profile, politician, and international cases I assume?"

"All of the above and Miami has a reputation for doing what's necessary, even if sometimes the agents who are sent down don't like it very much."

She smiled. "I heard.  They rank you up there with Gibbs and Fornell for not liking to work with you."  She nodded.  "I'll consider this.  Did you let Speedle off his leash?"

"I don't need a leash for Speed, Director.  I never have.  He's always been more about the work than about his personal life.  I didn't even know he had a cat until he got injured."  She snorted.  "He keeps his personal life out of the lab most of the time.  Him being happy makes others happy, so I did let him come up.  It made him feel better."

"Fine."  She pushed a button on her phone. "Jethro, can you come up here please?"  She hung up.  "When can we get the funding started?"

"Since Speedle has housing already set up and the techs do make an equitable amount of money we could trade until it's set up."

"We do?"

Horatio nodded. "I think Speed makes about fifteen hundred more than McGee does actually."

"You pay well."

"That's because I only hire the best."  Jethro walked in.  "How much does McGee make?"

"Not that much.  He's barely out of Probie range.  What do your boys make?"  Horatio showed it to him in the paperwork.  "Wow, you guys pay better."

"That's because I only hire the best."  He looked at her.  "If I had to, I could arrange for Speedle's pay to continue up here, the same as you could pay McGee for being down there until it's set up."

"We could.  Would he be willing to sublet his apartment?"

"I'm sure he could arrange that," Horatio agreed.  "I'd let the techs work that out themselves.  It's always better that way."

"If that's what you want.  Jethro?"

"I like the idea.  He's right, that case Speedle worked with us he found evidence we didn't know was possible.  We don't have all the toys they do down there."

"Good point.  Would we have to up our... toys?"

"You're a Federal agency, I'm sure you could talk the FBI's lab into letting you borrow some of their spare gear or doing some sort of switch," Horatio offered.  "Even we borrow gear sometimes."

"We could do that.  Would this help us in the war against terrorism?"

"We do handle some of those cases but I have more drugs, cartel lords, gang members, and those sort of home-grown terrorists down in Miami, Director.  You'd be surprised at the damage a tweaker can do when they set their mind to it."

"They have been known to bomb things," Gibbs agreed.  "You're also dealing with a street war situation in some areas, right?"

"We are.  We also spend a lot of time dealing with the inter-nationality clashes every year.  Mostly in gang related incidences but not always.  We do get some hate crimes as well."

"Nothing like blowing up the Pentagon by plane," the director said.

"It's the same skills, only yours are applied internationally and ours down there are home- grown and mostly native."

"It's a good point, Jen, and it'll keep my team sharp and help the other teams sharpen up as well.  They know what the other investigative agencies use when they have cases and how they pull evidence.  They can tell the other teams who want to ask them.  Plus this would take some of the stress off Abby now and then."

"Fine.  I'll agree to this on a one year basis."

"That would be acceptable.  That would get us through the first two switches," Horatio agreed.

"That's fine.  You two work it out.  When is Speedle starting?"

"That depends on when we can get McGee down there."

"Abby can do the hacking things and I can call on Harris if I have to," Gibbs pointed out.  Horatio nodded.  "You don't have hackers?"

"I don't usually need hackers.  I could use one who had the skills now and then.  I have one who's good enough to crack source code in video games and programs.  I think McGee can help me with that while he learns."

"He probably can."  He nodded.  "Come on, we'll go talk to McGee."

"Of course.  Thank you for your time, Director Sheppard."  He nodded politely and left with him.  "Team meeting?"

"In Abby's lab," he agreed.  "DiNozzo, meeting, lab," he called as they walked down the stairs.  They headed that way before he got to the bottom, letting them follow up.  He looked at Horatio in the elevator.  "What about the housing?"

"Speed will probably let him live in his place.  Speed can keep paying his rent.  McGee can keep paying his own rent.  Then we'd work something out for DiNozzo and Calleigh."

"DiNozzo's living with Xander."

"Calleigh lives in an apartment but so does Speed.  I don't know.  She's been talking about moving a few times."  He shrugged.  "She'll squeal if you can get her in to look at the new artillery and guns."

"I'm sure she will."  They walked out and into the lab.  Horatio looked around.  "I know but she does everything."

"That's why she's amazing," Horatio agreed.

Abby frowned at him.  "Who are you?"

He smiled.  "Horatio Caine, Miami-Dade, Miss Sciuto."  He shook her hand.  "We are going to be doing a tech switch between my team and Jethro's team."

"Does that mean I get to keep Speed?  Because I will pout if I don't get to keep Speed, and me plus Xander pouting is a horrible thing on this world."

"For six months," Jethro agreed.  McGee looked confused.  "You're going to Miami first."

"Wow.  So I'll go down there and learn more of the scene stuff, he'll come up here and teach?"

"And help Abby when she needs it," Horatio agreed.  Abby beamed at that.  "Then you'd come back, he'd hopefully come back and we'd get Tony while you got Calleigh."

"Oooh, I heard of her," Abby cooed.  "Bullet girl."

"Yes, she is," Horatio agreed.  "She'll want to go to all the ballistics lectures she can up here and she'd be willing to help refine the knowledge Tim leaves you with.  Usually I let Calleigh and Speed train every new tech.  They've trained half of night and swing shifts as well as Eric and the new kid on my own team."  He nodded at Ziva.  "They would be helping ground your skills in forensics plus the investigative edge."

"Why can't I learn from Gibbs?  Tony did," she complained.

"DiNozzo already had a good feel for crime scenes when I hired him, Ziva," Gibbs told her.  "McGee had none and he's still learning.  You're just starting out."

"They teach this stuff as a major in college," McGee told her.  Her face fell.  Horatio nodded.  "Your guys have to have a degree in forensics, right?"

"I prefer chemistry or physics for an undergrad and then a masters in a forensics related field.  Mr. Wolfe, my new hire, has his masters in genetics."

"Wow.  I did a triple bachelors to get here," Abby said in awe.

"We also investigate.  We're very hands-on with our detectives.  So this would not only train Ziva in the finer points of forensics but also the rest of the team where they had rough edges or no idea that new tricks or technology had come up."

"Name one thing," Ziva said.

Horatio looked at her.  "We have a test machine right now that not only scans in an imprint of body heat, but it's a full outline if it's somewhere like a seat so we can compare it to an actual body image.  We've used it to solve cases before."

"I've heard of that but it's an expensive toy," Abby told them.

"So, if I'm sitting in a chair, it'll take a picture of the residual heat I leave behind?" McGee asked.  Horatio nodded.  "And then you can compare that to an actual body or the picture, right?"

"We can.  It's to be used within two hours of the person moving.  Preferably sooner but sometimes the bad guys don't call immediately."  That got a smile from Jethro.  "They don't.  We also get a lot of water cases.  That's a specialty of Eric's.  Speedle is one of the top trace people in the country."  Ziva gaped at that.  Jethro nodded.  "He is.  He's trained nearly everyone on my shift, Officer David.  This would mean you'd get Jethro's ways but start out right on how to collect evidence.   Last month we got to fume a body for fingerprints.  We don't often get them that fresh but we broke the case with that."

"You can fume a body for fingerprints?" Jethro asked.

"Within an hour of them dying, yes.  Or if something on the body has preserved them."

"How?"

"The same way you would on a wallet.  You set up a containment field and you use the same superglue fume."

"I had no idea you could do that."

"You can but it's in special use situations.  The body has to be fresh.  Under an hour if possible.  After that the skin oils break down.  We can pull fingerprints off most anything these days.  DNA as well.  Calleigh's gotten some out of some half-eaten fruit."

"I've read about doing that," Abby offered.  "Will they be allowed to teach me too?"

"Yes they would.  My top three people are all leadership capable but we won't have any open spots for a very long time, God willing.  They've all taught forensic seminars.  They've all helped train new techs.  Speed and Calleigh enjoy it, no matter how much Speed may grump about it."  That got a mass of smiles.  "So, McGee, I'll let you get with Speed to talk about the apartment stuff.  You'll be getting your salary from here and he'll get his from us. His apartment will be open so you might be able to live there.  Tony, you and Calleigh will work that out however."  Tony smiled and nodded.  "Where is Speed?"

"Being a scruffybear."

Horatio smiled.  "It'll be nice to see him happy again.  I'll expect him to keep being happy."  He stared him down, getting a nod.

"He's gay?" Ziva asked.

"Ten percent of the population is," Jethro said patiently.  "There's others in the building but we don't talk about it around here."

"That's because it's official military policy," Tony told her. "Don't ask don't tell."  He looked at Jethro.  "Are we on this weekend?  Speed'll have to fly back down, pack stuff, then ride his bike up here."

"I wonder if that means I'm getting Amonent again," Horatio said.   Tony looked confused. "Speed's cat.  He said she's a junior version of Xander's Queen Scruffy.  I got her over a few nights recently when Speed had to have his apartment sprayed."

"Oh, her.  He didn't tell me her name.  Maybe, I can call and see if he can answer the phone yet."

"I'm going out to spend the night with you before we fly back in the morning," Horatio told him.  "That way Speed has time to ride his bike up."

McGee smiled.  "Boss, want me to go this weekend since we've got call or next weekend?"

"Go this weekend.  It should be an easy one.  Tell Speedle no more jeans, Horatio."

"That's between you and him, Jethro.  I may not let him wear his Nirvana t-shirts anymore but Miami rules say you can wear jeans, McGee."  That got a nod.  "You can wear a suit if you want but I don't demand it."

"Thanks, Horatio.  I'll do my best and help where I can."

"I'll expect you to pull your own weight, Tim."

"I will."

"Good man."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Anything else we have to arrange today?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  You sure you want to go out there tonight?"

"I think, as Tim's friend, I should get to know his boyfriend."

"He's an interesting guy," McGee told him.  "Very interesting.  Just don't feed him chocolate or Tony won't be able to walk tomorrow after he plays with him."  Ziva gave Tony a horrified look.

"I live with the guy, Ziva.  Sometimes I've got to spare the dogs being worn out when he's that bouncy."  He smiled at Horatio.  "We'd love to have you.  You know that."  That got a nod.  "Out of your hotel?"

"I checked out this morning."

"Boss?"

"Go ahead.  We're down for the day.  Keep your phones on.  Make sure Speedle gets a local number for his and he knows all the rules, including the dress code.  McGee, I'll let you arrange things when you come back tomorrow.  Today, go work out all the little details and the travel stuff."

"Yes, boss.  Thank you for letting me go."  He followed Horatio and Tony out.  "You think she'll be okay with Speed?"

"He taught Eric, he taught a number of them," Horatio said quietly.  "It'll be fine.  Even if he does have to wear her down about a few points first, boys."

"This means I can make Xander go shopping again," Tony realized.

McGee looked at him. "No more cutesy shirts, Tony.  Abby nearly stole one."

"That was his choice."

"I'm sure it was."

"Boys," Horatio warned.

"Won't happen again," they both agreed.   Horatio looked at them.  "Saying sorry is a sign of weakness," they recited in unison.

"I see.  That depends on what you're apologizing for."  Horatio slipped on his sunglasses and followed them out, handing in his visitors pass on the way past reception.

Later that afternoon, on the West Virginia/Maryland/DC Metro area border a squeal floated down from the backwoods of a small town.  The locals only smiled and agreed it was the sound of a happy boy who was about to build a two car/one bike garage.

The End.