Contents

Idea Behind the Story

The Story

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Idea Behind the Story

Date:Fri, 21 Mar 2008 01:46:49 -0000

Subject:[imaginings] Plotbunny

I'm not sure if anyone saw it. It's in my folder in the big plotbunny list I have there. I'm reposting it this way to see if anyone comments.

BtVS/CSI/NCIS/SPN/?: Don Gibbs Plotbunny

*whimpers and pounds head on computer desk* Damnit! I knew I shouldn't have been watching "Boondock Saints" again while I'm so vulnerable to plotbunnies at the moment.

Alright enough complaining, here goes:

I was trying to go to sleep and I got bit by this idea of Gibbs as a sort of Mafia Don, with Tony, Mac, Stella, and Horatio as his lieutenants. Abby as his daughter, and Danny as his son. If you want to go a step further have the Winchesters and Xander & Faith as enforcers. The rest of their crews are either officers or various members of their families (for instance I can see Alexx as Speed's actual mom & maybe Xander. Ray Jr. maybe as Horatio's son?). Although other fandoms can be easily added.

Trying to make the bunny go away made it warp and turned them into a _demon_ mafia that wasn't really interested in much outside their territory (I was thinking a subdimension kinda like the idea I put out of Xander making a kingdom in the "grey land" or even weirder and cross it with Stargate and have it having been a planet that Gibbs owned), though that they ruled with an iron fist that other demon clans envied. Partially because their people adored them, and therefore were very unlikely to assist an outsider trying to takeover.

I was thinking whatever kind of demon they are, are rather scary when pissed, as well as being highly territorial and pack orientated (which when you think about it actually fit's all those characters personalities). Other demons tend to have a hands off and a "for gods sake, just stay out of their territory" approach to handling them except when they absolutely have to. Somehow I have this mental image of some demon saying they're "Just not _sane_."

So you have minor demons jealous and envious that want to take over or destroy them, but conversely you have higher demons that are just thankful that they're happy and they're content with what they have.

Anyway someone got smart and found a way to take out the entire power structure in a single move and essentially had them all reborn as humans so they would have an easier time taking them out. However do to something having gone wrong because of someone owing one of them a debt the spell got warped and they got scattered and hidden from their hunters so they have to find them the hard way. Thus giving them a chance to regroup and retaliate.

Also as an added note I had this thought that made me giggle of Tony having been female and Gibbs' wife. Can't you just see him as Abby and Danny's mom?

*groan* I just had this thought of what starts them getting their memories back (or even reverting to their previous forms and powers) was Xander going to Miami either on an enforced vacation or to get something and running into Alexx on a crime scene with Speed there and it coming back to her when she sees both her 'babies' at once. She would have a screaming/crying fit to end all screaming/crying fits and have both Speed and Xander in death hugs while babbling at them in the demon language that had spoken.

There's also the thought of the Yellow Eyed Demon having an "Oh Shit!" reaction when it finds out who the Winchesters were/had been. Or even the Buffy crew's reaction.

*snorts* Of course now I'm having this thought of Xander back then having adopted a slayer that got called really young from a time that some Watchers had a stupid attack and tried to invade with her, and him and his spouse (whoever that is) having raised her, and _she_ rather than Buffy was the longest active Slayer. I was thinking she died a grandmother. That there would have really sent the Watchers, PTB, and demons outside their world into a tizzy trying to figure out what happened to the Slayers 'cause none are being called. Hell maybe even have it where Faith had been one of her descendants, like a daughter or granddaughter.

*headdesk* Hell. Additional thought. Maybe rather than demon's they're Sidhe? *pause*  Why am I stuck on them anyway? *shrugs* I'm just adding to this as I'm thinking of it.

The Story

Note: Danyella gave me the idea.  Blame her.  It taunted me for months before I wrote it.

Part 1

The demon in the high chair looked at the young one coming in.  "What did you do this time?  You look too happy to have stayed out of trouble, as I ordered."

"Someone was trying to incite an uprising on the edge of Core," he said, beaming at his lord.  "They all turned them in.  No one was going to help them.  They said they'd never do that to you.  And then they decided you were scarier than even I am."  He skipped off.  "They're being brought in and my mate is waiting on me."

"Uh-huh," he said.  "What were they trying to incite with?"

"A new overlord would be more gentle.  On and on and on," he said as he walked through the back doorway.

His spouse leaned closer.  "He's young and impetuous."

"He is but he gets the job done.  Like I did way back when I was that young."  He smirked at his mate. "It could be worse.  He could be insane.  His father seems to be insane now and then."

"Mac would be pissed that you said that."

"Mac can pout all he wants," he shot back with an evil smirk.

"Why?" Horatio asked as he walked in, bowing before his lord.  "The new demon wanting to take over is in custody and wailing for mercy."

Jethro looked at him.  "Why is he wailing for mercy?"

Horatio smirked.  "Xander was talking about spawning again."  Jethro groaned.  "Exactly.  He's very disturbed that there could be eggs from that grouping."  He looked around then giggled so hard his head fin bobbled.  "Faith was with him.  She was complaining about the same thing.  She went to complain to their father about him.  Again."

"She and her mate need to settle down too," Mac said as he walked in.  "Xander and Dean having spawn is fairly scary as a general thought.  The kids will be insane.  Or very good guards."

Jethro looked at him.  "Let's hope for good guards so we don't have to handle anything and drive the parents insane with grief?"

"I'm trying.  You know very well I tried to set them up with the opposite mate but Xander was stubborn.  He and Dean took off to play with the weapons.  His father got insulted and decided that was how it was meant to be."  Faith stormed in.  "Is your brother going at it already?"

"My mate is an idiot."

"He's very smart and wise," Jethro's mate said patiently.  "Just because he teaches caution and learning when you want to act doesn't make him an idiot, niece."

She pouted at him.  "He wants spawn now too."

"He can have spawn but he'd have to stay home to take care of it," Jethro reminded her.  "Both of you are blessed by our Goddess Mirath."

She shuddered.  "I'd rather not be."

"Has your brother decided which one of them is going to have eggs?" Jethro asked.

"No.  They said whichever gets knocked up while playing does."

"Xander!" Jethro bellowed.  He came jogging back, Dean behind him.  "Only *one* of you may get with egg.  I can't afford to have both of you off for that long."

Dean bowed.  "Yes, Overlord."

Xander looked at his mate then at his boss.  "Which would you rather have?  We can't decide."

"You can," Dean said.

"I'll take forever to get back in shape.  You'd carry easier."

"Can you two please quit giving *my* mate bad ideas?" Faith demanded.

"No," they said in unison then smirked evilly.

"Sammy would look good with egg," Dean assured her.  "Since he wants to stay home, go do him."

"I tried, he didn't get caught."  She pouted at her father.  "Please?"

"Go knock up your mate if he wants you to, Faith.  Children are a blessing on the clan."  He looked at the boys then pulled a knife, tossing it up.  "Call it."

"Blade," they both said after watching it come down.  Sure enough it landed that way.

"You two are too alike," Horatio said impatiently.  He looked at both of them.  "We can ask a priest."  They both shuddered.  "How long have you been trying?"

"Two months," Dean said.

Jethro groaned.  "Make sure it hasn't happened yet, boys."  They both looked clueless.  "You can be with egg for over six months and not know!"  He looked around.  "Don!"  He came jogging out.  "Check them for eggs?"

He laid a hand on each one then nodded.  "Dean is."  Xander beamed and bounced around his mate chanting.  Don looked at the happy spouse then the pouting spouse.  "He can have twins the next time.  His body is preparing for twins."

Xander quit bouncing.  "Is that because Faith and I are twins?"  Don beamed and nodded.

"We are *not* having twins," Dean said firmly.  "One egg is enough."  Xander pouted, using his big, squishy puppy eyes.  He even let his head fin droop.  "No, Xander.  No twins."

Don checked Xander again then Dean again.  He sighed, shaking his head.  "I cannot tell if the mating you've done since yesterday may have taken or not.  We'll need to wait a few days to see."  He bowed to Jethro.  "Let me check on Sam."  He went to do that.  The twins' mates were going to drive him insane wanting mates.  Blessing a set of twins from Xander and Dean, then helping raise them to be moral, strong, and less insane than their fathers was going to finish him off.  Faith's wouldn't be much better with Sam.  He tapped on their apartment's door, getting let in. "Jethro wanted me to check."

"Of course."  He let him inside and took off his shirt, letting Don have access to his egg pouch.  "We haven't been trying very hard.  Faith's wary of an egg."

"You're about to be an uncle anyway," he assured him.  He checked then smiled.  "They'll be born around the same time."   He looked at the happy young man.  "Do watch out for Xander.  Since those two are twins, there's a good chance they'll have twins."

Sam beamed.  "I'll remember that."  He gave him a hug.  "Thank you.  Let me tell Jethro and Faith.  Then Father."  He pulled his shirt back on as he walked toward the meeting chamber, running into his nibbling mate on the way.  He pushed her against the wall to kiss her deeply, making her forget her food.  He pulled back to beam at her.  "The priest agreed."

Faith moaned.  "Already?"

He nodded, kissing her again.

Tony walked past them, shaking his head.  "Children, you have an apartment the same as we do."

"We have news to announce and celebrate," Sam said, pulling back to pant.  He grinned at the first mate then pulled Faith with him.  "Lord Jethro, Father?"  They looked over from their planning the new border's defenses.  "It is good news."

Mac smiled.  "Already?"

"Yes."  Sam beamed at Faith then at them.  "Dean too?  Don said he was."

"He is," Jethro agreed.  "You two may not be with egg at the same time."

"Of course not.  That would leave you without enough higher level guards."  He bowed.  "Thank you for indulging our desires, Lord Jethro."  He kissed Faith again, then smiled at his father-in-law.  "Did you want to plan the blessing ceremony when it's time or should we?"

"I will," Mac promised.

"Yes, Father."  He leered at Faith, making her give him an odd look back.  "I think we should celebrate.  We'll be here if you need us."  Someone in another hallway yelped then moaned.  "Sounds like Xander's happy too."  He walked off, picking up Faith to carry her off to their apartment.

"They're going to drive me nuts," Jethro complained quietly.

Tony stopped to give him a hug around the breeder Jethro had married first.  "Quit complaining.  They're adorable together.  The same as you and Alelea are when she's with spawn."  He looked at her.  "What type is it this time?"  She blushed when everyone stared at her.  "When do we need to plan the celebration?"

"Next month."  She put a hand on her pouch.  "I was going to tell you tonight, Jethro."  He took a kiss and smirked at her.  "I'm going to rest.  Let Tony help."  She walked off to go hide before the news got around. Then she wrote a letter to a very...good friend.  She had news to share.

***

Jethro heard the commotion outside and groaned.  A few quiet weeks since Xander had brought in the last problem hadn't been enough of a rest.  "What now?"  He grabbed a weapon as he summoned his ruling guards.  "There's a problem."

"The problem is that your first mate's family is coming to take over," Horatio said as he joined him.  "They have something bigger than we've seen recently to help them."

"I've got a cure for that," Xander and Faith said as they walked out together with a case between them.  They fell in line behind Horatio and Jethro, going out to the walls of the castle.  They opened it and Faith kicked it open.  A quick contest to see who'd fire it and they were quickly facing off with the evil things trying to storm their nice, peaceful little country.

"Eat this," Faith shouted.  Xander fired it off with her holding it steady and the higher demon shattered into a lot of messy pieces.  She smirked.

Xander grinned.  "That was so cool.  We have to do that again."  He pulled out his usual weapons and she pulled hers, then they jumped down to go attack them.

Horatio and Jethro shared a look.  "They need more to do," Horatio said.

"They're spawning.  That will take some of that energy soon enough."  Tony ran out panting.  "What's wrong?"

"Alelea is gone."

"Gone?  Like dead?" Jethro demanded.

"Like she's packed and left," Tony told him.  He pointed.  "She's there I'd guess."

They looked then Jethro growled.  "How dare she."

Tony stopped him from pulling a weapon.  "That is my job, Jethro.  There's a new egg on your bed that needs your attention.  I put a guard with it."  He grabbed his own weapons, heading down with Mac, who had just gotten there, and Horatio.  Jethro watched but it went their way fairly quickly.  The twins were demons when fighting.  "I want her alive," he called.  The crowd booed.  "My mate."  That got some horrified looks.

Horatio slayed the beast pulling her carriage.  Mac pulled her out and handed her to Tony.  Then they went to help the twins while Tony dragged her back to Jethro's side.  The rest of her family's forces were easily beaten within an hour.  The matriarch and patriarch were found by Faith, who knocked them out and had them brought back to Jethro's throne room for judgement.

Xander got one last thing then followed, glaring at the people.  "This is not a show, people.  Next time, stay inside or get yourselves to safety, do not stand and watch."  They ducked away.  His word was law in this matter.  He was of the ruling clan.  He stopped at the steps.  "There will be blessings soon.  Prepare for happier news than this.  Give us any reports of damages or injuries."  He walked inside.

"Did you have to tell them that?" Tony demanded.

"Yes.  Dean'll be spawning in weeks," he said dryly.  "I'm going to celebrate my new egg to the fullest extent Father and Jethro let me.  Plus people need to celebrate happy news."

"They do," Jethro agreed, stroking the egg he had been brought.  "It's healthy?" he asked Stella.  She was their only priestess in the castle.  She had been training his son Don for years.

"She is."

"She?" he asked, smiling at the egg.  "I haven't had any girls."

"Now you do."  She patted him on the back.  "It will be well, Jethro.  She has no idea what she has unleashed."  She and Don stepped back.  They were not allowed to interfere in politics.

Jethro looked up from petting his daughter, looking at his wife and her parents.  "What bright idea was that?"

"It should be ours," her father said.

Tony snorted.  "Just because she's given him children?  The country will go to them.  Not to you."

"Tony," Jethro warned.

"It's the truth and she knows it.  The same as I do if I bear you an heir.  That would make us the parent of the heir, not the future leader."

"She can do better and she does most of the deciding anyway," her mother said firmly.

Faith snickered.  "Sorry.  No.  Jethro is very much in control.  Your daughter's only function is to be on his arm, look pretty, and bear him heirs."

"Enough," Jethro ordered.  He looked at them, then looked away from his wife, back to his daughter's shell.  "I cannot allow such incidences to go unpunished."

"The people want her punished," Horatio said as he walked in.  "They're gathering to hear.  I tried to have them dispersed but they would not go."  Xander and Faith sighed, heading that way.  Mac stopped them.  "Let them," Horatio ordered.  "They need news.  The same as they need good things to celebrate."  He looked at his overlord and brother. "It must be done.  Even if you did once love her."

Jethro nodded.  "So be it," he agreed.  He stared at his wife, then at her parents.  "I cannot save you.  You tried to overthrow me and have our child killed, plus all the others."

"He's not worthy because of you!" she spat.

"I think he's very worthy.  The Goddess obviously thought so," Jethro countered calmly.  "It's not my choice but so be it."  He looked at the twins.  "Take them.  I cannot save them."  He looked at the two priests.  "Don, I would not ask this of you."  His son nodded his thanks.  "You don't have to be there.  You can watch your sister if you want."  Don took the pillow with the egg, walking off to protect her.  He could like having a little sister.  Jethro followed the prisoners out to the walls of the castle.  They'd either jump or be killed.  It was up to them.  A boo went up when they saw the parents but a few very loud gasps went up when his wife was dragged out too.  He stepped up.  "She wanted to rule in place of our children.  I cannot allow that, no matter how much I like her."  He walked off again.  Horatio and Mac would see to it.

Horatio looked at them, sword in hand.  "Your choice.  Jump or be beheaded."

The father jumped with a sneer.  The mother started to but couldn't so Stella took over her duties.  The wife stepped up to the parapet.  "I curse you, Jethro, and all your clan.  You will not know peace in this life or the next one you'll be sent to.  If I can't rule it, no one will."  She jumped, sealing the curse with her blood.

"That's going to suck," Faith said.

Xander nodded.  He looked at Stella.  "Can she do that?"

Stella nodded.  "Maybe.  I'll look at the portents later."  She looked at the crowds.  "As the Goddess dictates, they are punished.  Let only those who we missed bear the rest of the punishment of the Goddess for not being honorable enough to die for what they believe in.  Even when it is wrong."  She turned, letting them escort her back to the throne room.  Tony and Don were both cooing at the egg.  "She tried to lay a curse."

Don stared at her.  "Did it work?"

"I don't know yet.  It was a this world and next sort.  To not know peace."

Jethro grunted.  "I don't believe in those things."

"I've seen some bad ones," Stella warned.

Xander looked at her.  "But if she does, we can find wherever she's reborn to try to torment us and kick her fin?"

Stella nodded.  "We can do that."

"Good."  He looked at the egg.  "We do see the crack?"  They all looked at the end then Stella and Don carefully finished bringing her out.  "Aww, so adorable and slimy.  A tiny little fin!  Sam!  Dean!  Come see!" he bellowed.  They came out to see the new baby.  "What's her name, Jethro?"

He looked then at Tony.  "Abigail?"

"I like it.  It's a strong name."

Jethro walked out with her to the front steps, holding her up.  "My wife laid one last egg before departing.  She just cracked."  The crowd cheered and surged to see her.   "Her name is Abigail."  They chanted it and cheered louder, going to throw a party.  He walked her back inside to let the priests bless her.  "With Jeris gone and Don a priest, she'll rule," he realized.  His brothers both smiled.  "That's a lot for such a little body."

"She'll do fine," Horatio assured him.  "We'll nag her if she goes as wild as the nephew or niece."  They both snorted and gave him dirty looks.  "You are."

"We'll have one of those soon," Sam said in awe.

Don nodded.  "Within months."  Faith went pale and wobbled.  "Your uncles will make sure they don't go as wild as your twin," he promised with a grin for her.  She had been his favorite for a very long time.

"Hey!" Xander complained.  "Dean's wilder than I am."

"That child will get extra nagging," Horatio said patiently.  Stella laughed.  "Just to make sure it's more reasonable than its fathers."

Dean snorted, giving him a dirty look.  "He'll be just like us."

"Just think, if it had been me, it'd be twins," Xander said with a manic grin.

Jethro looked at Dean.  "It's a mate's job to ensure sanity.  Especially of my guards."

"Going," Dean agreed, dragging his mate off by his head fin.  Xander 'oww'ed all the way back to their apartment but oh well.  They didn't need Jethro or the new egg going insane.  Xander could cause it when he got too bouncy.  Especially in the older generation.

***

Jethro woke up to a hand shaking him.  "It had better be an emergency," he mumbled.

"There's a strange current," Don said quietly.  Tony grunted and flipped over to look at him too.  "I don't know what but Xander felt it and woke me, Jethro."

"What sort?"

"I cannot tell.  Stella won't waken.  I can't get the others up either.  Only us and Xander."

"Faith?" Tony asked.

"I'm headed there next."

"I'm coming," Jethro promised.  He stood up and took the baby with him.  If something was going on, he was the best to protect her.  Tony got up and dressed to follow him.  They walked outside, looking at the town around them.  Their lands extended closer to the horizon but right now they had to worry about here.

"Was Xander meant to be a priest?" Don asked quietly.

"His spirt was too raw.  Otherwise he would have."  He shifted Abigail to his other side, looking around.  "I can't tell.  I know I wasn't meant to be a priest."

Xander jogged out, pausing to look then point.  "It's coming from that direction.  It's power but it's not a threat.  Well, a threat but not a takeover threat.  Something like that," he moaned.  "I can't explain it," he said when the adults looked at him.  He kissed Abby on the head.  "You need to be protected inside, away from this."  Stella came rushing out and looked in the same direction.  "What is it, Stella?"

"Power.  I don't know from what."

"Her curse?" Jethro asked quietly.

She looked at him.  "It could have started this off but I'm not sure.  I won't be able to tell until it's closer."

Sam came running out, looking in the same direction.  "That can't be good."  He looked at Jethro.  "Something's trying to take us over."

"The curse?" Stella asked.

"No.  Something bigger and more powerful.  Something that wants us out of the way."

"Being with egg is making you sensitive?" Tony asked.

"I always was.  That's why Father tried to match me with Xander.  Because he is."

Xander shrugged. "Funny things come to me."  Dean walked out.  "No, inside.  We're about to be attacked again."

"Shut up," Dean ordered.  "I can help.  I'm not that far along yet."

Xander looked at him.  "I won't have you hurt."

Dean growled.  "It's my decision.  Shut up."

"Boys," Jethro ordered.  "Stop it.  We may need Dean.  Even if I don't want to put him or the egg into danger, Xander.  His or Sam's eggs."  Xander slumped but nodded.  "Can we get the rest up?"

"They won't wake," Sam said.  "I tried with Faith.  She won't even snore at me."

"Wore her out?" Dean teased.

"No, not tonight."

Stella frowned, looking that way.  "It's magical, Jethro.  I cannot fight that.  I'm not strong enough."

"Let me go hug Faith," Sam said quietly, going to do that.  A magical battle was a bad thing.  He wanted a last hug.

Xander hugged Dean and kissed him.  "If we be parted, I'll find you."

"If we're parted, we'll find each other."

Xander smiled.  "Sure, you can hunt this time."  He took another kiss as the magic washed across them.

Xander woke up screaming.  He panted, looking around the room.  "What the fuck?" he demanded.  The room didn't answer back thankfully.  He checked his head.  Hair?  That was different.  No fin.  He got up to look in the mirror.  He wasn't light brown.  Why not?  He calmed himself down, willing himself to think.  Something was going very wrong at the moment.  He wasn't sure what.  He had no idea what was going on.  All he knew was that he hadn't woken up from a *dream*.  That was a memory.  He grabbed clothes and headed out, going to the local motel.  He knew someone who he needed to talk to.  Even if she was a bad girl.  He knocked until Faith opened the door with a glare.  "Do you feel odd not to have a head fin?"

She blinked.  "What?"

He pushed her in then followed, kicking the door shut.  "Jethro, Tony, Sam Dean, Abigail?  Any of that ringing a bell, Faith?"

"A few weird ass dreams.  Head fins too.  Bark looking skin?"   He nodded, staring at her.  "No way we shared one."

"Faith, not a dream.  A memory.  Something weird is going on and it's weirder than Sunnydale weird."  He stared at her.  "We were twins, Faith.  Does that mean what we did last night was incest?"

Faith gagged.  "Eww.  Only you could think that, Xander."

He tipped her face up when she tried to look away, staring into her eyes.  "We have to find Dean and Sam, then Jethro."

She swallowed.  "I can't stand kids."

"Me either.  I still want my mate back."  She smirked at that.  "Okay, and well, he's hot, yours is hot.  We'll figure that part out.  Because I don't think I'm gay but hey."  He smirked back.  "So, can we work on this?  Do we ask Willow?"

"Nope.  Can't stand Red."

Xander sighed, sitting next to her.  "I'm not sure I want to either."  They shared a look.  "Giles?"

"He doesn't like me that much."

"He still thinks I'm useless, Faith.  That's why he drove me away from the sitch in the library last night and I ended up with the zombies and the bomb.  He said I should be fray adjacent."

She snorted.  "You're better and more than they think, Xan."

"I know that.  You realized it.  Why can't they?"

"I don't know but I'm not doing emo crap tonight.  I'm too tired."

"We need to find a way to find them."

"Red hacks."

"She might, but you don't trust her and I'm not sure I want to hear her go on about this stuff."  He considered it.  "Oz hacks too."  She looked at him.  "I know he won't say anything."

"He never does.  He's more quiet than some teddy bears."

"He also knows the value of a secret."

She considered it.  "We'll talk to him tomorrow?"

"Sure."  He stood up, looking at her.  "Are you okay?"

"The only problem with me is that I'm tired, Xander."

He grinned.  "No back pain, soreness?"

"I heal quickly," she said dryly.

"So is that incest if we were twins in another life or whatever?"

"Get out," she said with a fond smirk.

He rolled his eyes but left.  He went to walk around a safer area for the last hour of night.  All the good vamps were heading for their beds/crypts/wherever so they could withstand another day.  A few tried to jump him but he got them.  He ran into Angel and grimaced.  "If you have a vision of a past life and you slept with someone who was your sister in it, is that incest?"

Angel gave him a disgusted look.  "Probably not.  Have you actually slept with someone?"

"Yeah."

He rolled his eyes.  "I'm sure."

"She felt really good too.  Kinda sweaty but nice.  Tight, wiggling.  She had some great muscles."  The vampire stomped off.  Xander waved at his back with a smirk.  "Thanks for the opinion."  He kept walking, going to the school since Oz was locked in there until he changed back.  He had to sneak past Willow but that was fine.  Oz changed back and Xander unlocked the cage, nodding for him to follow.  Oz finished dressing on his way to the bathroom with Xander.  "Can I ask a huge favor?"

"Want to be bitten?"

"No.  Last night I woke up from what had to be a past life memory but it's not that far past.  We know a curse hit the place where I was with some others.  I need to find them.  I need help finding them."

"What do we know about them?"

"I know my mate's name was Dean.  His brother was Sam.  They were warriors like I was and Sam's wife was."  Oz nodded slowly, leaning against a sink.  "We had an overlord named Jethro.  He had a first husband named Tony and a new daughter named Abigail.  His brothers were Mac and Horatio.  He had a son named Don but he was a priest studying under a priestess named Stella."

"How old?  Can you give me descriptions?"

"Would a head fin and bark colored and looking skin help?"

"No," Oz said.  "Probably not now.  Curse?"  Xander nodded.  "Can you give me relative ages?"

"I was about my present age.  Maybe a bit older.  Jethro was nearer to forty or fifty maybe?  Don was grown up, in his thirties but Jethro had him early.  Horatio and Mac were about the same age as Jethro.  Mac was slightly older but not fit to rule for whatever reason.  We hatched from eggs."

"I can start a search but there's some common names in there."

Xander considered it.  "Dean and Sam would be doing something like what we do.  Dean and I were a lot alike.  Weapons nuts, tough fighters who kept going even when our friends tried to do stuff to make us not want to."

"Huh?"

"Don't ask."  He sighed.  "They'd be involved in this or weapons somehow.  Him at least.  His brother Sam was slightly younger in ours.  Probably still is."

"Who was his wife?"

"I know her and we've talked already."

"Not Willow?"

"Nope.  I don't want her to know because I don't want to hear the laughter.  It was bad enough after halloween."

"Agreed."  He patted him on the arm.  "Why do you stink?"

"Had to stop something last night."  He grinned.  "Thanks, Oz."

"Welcome."  He left, going to wake up Willow.  Xander went home to eat then come back like nothing had happened.  Faith caught him later so he grinned and nodded.  She relaxed and nodded back.  "We'll figure it out."

"We can do that."  She walked inside.

"Why are you talking to her?" Cordelia demanded.

Xander looked at her.  "Because I wanted to."  He walked off.  Cordelia groaned, not chasing after him to get the answers she wanted this time.  Something weird was going on.  There were rumors all over the school.  She went to find him after a suitable length of time so no one thought she was chasing after him, pinning him against his locker.  "Bomb?" she asked quietly, staring into his eyes.

"I stopped it," he said in a near whisper, staring back.  She moaned.  "Jack set it."  He grinned.  "Good me."  He ducked and got free, heading to home room. The girls tried to ignore him so he settled in to not listen to the teacher take roll.  He had some heavy planning to do.  At least until one of the lieutenants took over or they found Jethro.

***

Ten days later, Oz stopped Xander and Faith before patrol.  "Dean and Sam Winchester.  Demon hunters.  Their father is John."  He handed over the note.  "Horatio Caine, Miami Florida, CSI."  He handed over that note.  "The others were too common."

"But they'd have a clue?" Faith asked.

Oz nodded.  "Probably a better one since Xander got more of a feel for the one he was connected to."

"How did you know about me?"

"It had to be a female.  He said wife of Sam.  He said husband of others.  Willow and Buffy are ignoring him."  He shrugged and walked off. "Happy patrol."

"You too, thank you," Xander called, opening them to read.  "They're traveling.  They don't have a set circuit."

"This is insane," Faith complained.

Xander looked at her.  "So is living here, Faith.  Do you want to do some insane things or do you want to stay here and be vamped some night?"

"I'm a slayer, Xander."

"And I'm pretty damn good for having to teach myself," he countered, moving closer.  "They're in the same business.  They could probably use a slayer and we could probably use the help here too."

She slumped, nodding.  "Where?"

"Right now, Alabama.  He found the phone number for John."  He handed it over.  "Do you want to travel that way and casually run into them or call?"

"I'm not sure...."

"Faith, I'm going even if you're not."  He looked around then at her.  "Why do I want to stay with this shit going on here?" he hissed.  "It's better and we might find a life we like.  With people who understand because they do the same thing.  Hell, John might be able to be a pretty decent watcher."

She stared at him.  "There were scary things, Xan."

"No one said you had to spawn.  I'm sure we won't be."

"True."  She looked around then at him.  "How?"

"I've been doing some planning and picking up stuff."

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"We'll be kosher?"

"No pickles but yeah.  For at least a month."  He swallowed.  "Help me tonight and I can ensure longer."

She nodded.  "While we patrol?"

"After.  So let's kick booty then head?"

She nodded.  "Let's kick ass then head."  They walked off, going to do their nightly patrol rotation.  After Xander stopped to pick up a few things at Willie's they were on the road.  He had left a note.  She had left a note for Wesley.  And they were history.  Even if she couldn't stand his music.

***

John Winchester looked around.  Something was not right.  They were in one place for too long again and something bad was about to happen.  He wasn't sure who the leggy brunette was but she was obviously a problem heading for his son.  He intercepted her.  "Ma'am?"

"I'm sixteen, do not ma'am me."

John looked at her.  "What are you?"

"A slayer."  He went pale and backed up.  "I need to talk to the boys.  They here?"

"You know my boys?"

"Yup.  Long story.  They'll know like I did."  She looked around, spotting Dean.  She walked over to him and stared.  "Damn, you're cuter now than you were then."

"Do I know you, miss?"

She smirked.  "Faith."

He frowned.  "I know that name from somewhere."  A young guy walked in and he nearly choked.  He knew him.  He didn't know how but he knew him.  "Who are you?"

"The slayer Faith," she said quietly, glancing around.  "We gotta talk to you and Sam."

"Sam's doing homework."

"Not my forte," Xander said as he sat on Dean's other side.  "Dean."

"Xander?"

"Yup."  They stared at each other.  "You remembering?"

"Yeah and I'm weirded out.  Very weirded out."

"Think how I felt.  I woke up screaming after that curse hit."

Dean groaned.  "We need to be somewhere more private."

"Pick a spot since Papa Winchester looks really upset."

"Park, one hour, by the fountain?"

"Sure," Xander agreed.  He wrote down a number.  "In case you get lost or handcuffed."  He stood up and walked over to John, staring at him for a moment.  "Past life stuff, John."

"Do we know you?"

"They did."  He walked off, going out to the car.  Faith could stare.   They'd work out the Faith-Sam/Dean-Xander thing later.  Maybe.  He hoped.  He was so tired of being alone.  She came out and got in, letting him drive them off.  "Think his father will complain?"

"Yup, he was."

"Damn it."

"I know, it's complicating things.  They'll hear."

Xander nodded.  "I hope.  If John doesn't try to run off with them."

"They'll heal, boytoy.  I said so."  They shared a smirk and hid, following them back to their hotel subtly.  All those action movies had paid off.

***

John looked at his son once they were in the motel room.  "What is going on?"

"Damned if I know but I got flashes of a past life.  With a head fin, no hair...."

"Faith?" Sam said, lifting his head.  "Why do I know that name?"

"I met her and Xander earlier."

Sam frowned.  "I know that name too."

"We're going to see them in the park.  See what's going on."

Sam nodded, closing his books so he could grab his sneakers and jacket.

"No, we're not," John said.

"Yeah, I am," Dean told him.  "It's something major and it's not a bad thing."

"They talked about a curse."

"Like we don't know about those," he snorted.  He walked Sam off, taking the car keys from his father's jacket on the way out.  John tried to stop them but yay. Dean saw the car and pulled Sam over, sliding into the back.  "This is not a classy ride."

"It was cheap and it runs," Xander countered.  "Plus, hey, legal and not stolen."

"Always a benefit," Faith agreed.  "Park?"

"Yeah."  He drove them off, glancing back in the mirror.

"There's deer here, pay more attention," Dean ordered.  Xander went back to just driving.  He looked at Faith.  She felt so familiar, yet so wrong.  Sam was staring at her too.  "What do we know?"

"Remember Jethro?" Xander asked.

Sam grabbed his head with a groan then looked at him.  "I dreamed about Jethro and Tony.  Alelea."

"Yeah," Xander agreed.  "And us."

"And us," Sam agreed.  "That's where I know...  Ooh, sorry, Faith."

"No spawning," she ordered.  "Eggs or not."

"No, no kids," he promised with a grin.

"Huh?" Dean asked.  Xander pulled over then undid his seatbelt so he could kneel on the seat and face Dean.  He stared then pulled Dean closer to kiss.  Dean pulled back, blinking at him.  "Dude, so not gay."  Xander bopped him on the side of the head.  "Shit."

"Sore?" Xander asked with a grin.  "Remembering swords, castles, head fins?"

Dean looked at him.  "Head fins."

"Bark looking skin?" Faith asked.  "Being my brother-in-law?"

Dean frowned.  "Huh?"

"Since he was out of it, it may be harder," Sam said quietly, looking at Xander.  "Do I know you in this life too?"

"Only if you've been paying attention to Sunnydale."  He looked at Dean again, staring into the familiar eyes.  He coughed then said something in the language that had filled his head after the dream.  Sam and Faith both blushed.  Dean just stared, mouth slightly open.  "Dean."

"Xander," he said quietly.  "Still not gay."

Xander grinned.  "I don't think I am either but we've got to figure some stuff out.  Tonight.  Plus find the others."

Sam nodded.  "Mac's ...  Mac's probably a cop."

"We have a hacker who found Horatio," Xander told them.   He saw the Impala go blasting past and groaned.  "He's not happy."

"He's going to stay not happy," Dean assured him.  "Let's hit the park?"  Xander turned back around and drove them off, taking them to the park.

"Is it safe?" Faith asked as they parked.  "No vampy vamps?  No demons?"

"No.  We had a werewolf trying to eat cows recently but he was off in the woods," Dean told her.

"We have a friend who is.  He locks himself up," Xander said, turning off the engine.  He looked back at Dean.  "You can't hurt Oz.  He helped."

"As long as he's not hurting others, I don't care.  I'm only in it to take out evil bastards until we can get the one that killed our mother."

"That's no stranger than ours with a vamp with a soul helping us slayers," Faith decided.  She got out and let Sam out.  She had learned Xander had funny locks on the back that didn't let people out from the inside.  Xander got Dean out and locked the car, walking off as a group.

After a few minutes, Dean looked at Faith.  "Vampire with a soul?"

"Angel," Xander told him.  "He has it again.  Which is nice I guess."  He grimaced.  "Kinda."

She pinched him on the arm.  "You did what you had to do, X.  No questions asked.  She should've put it aside to slay him when he lost it."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, but she didn't and someone died.  Nearly Giles too."  He sighed.  "I'm tired of hunting for the moment.  Can we figure this stuff out?  Please?"

"Sure," Sam agreed.

"What're we doing about the not gay stuff?" Dean asked.

Xander shrugged.  "No one said we were soulmates, Dean, just mated."

"Good."  He leered at Faith.  "You're more my type.  Slightly naughty and kinky."

She laughed.  "I doubt you could handle all of me, Dean.  Down boy."  He grinned.  Sam rolled his eyes.  "Kinda uptight, Sam."

"It happens."  He saw his father and poked Dean, nodding that way.  "At least he doesn't have a shotgun."

"That's how we got married in the last life," Dean quipped.

John walked in front of them.  "What is going on?"

Dean looked at his father.  Xander opened his mouth but Dean stopped him.  "We share a last life together.  In it, I was married to Xander.  Sammy and Faith were hitched."  John glared at her.

"Not my doing.  There was a curse that made us have another go round.  Xander woke up remembering suddenly after making the zombie not blow up the school."

"We were on Efrietz," Xander said calmly.  "That's a demon realm.  There was a strong clan that was holding the majority of the main continent safe and steady.  Then Jethro's, the leader, wife betrayed us and cursed us."  John shuddered.  "To not know peace in that life or this one."

Faith nodded.  "We promise not to knock them up like we did in that life, John.  Though, Sam was way too happy to be with egg."

Sam grinned at her.  "I always wanted a family."  She shook her head and made gagging noises.  "Not yet.  Maybe when I'm older."

She looked at him.  "Sam, I'm a vampire slayer.  I'm already over my expiration date because it's been nearly a year since I was called."  He shuddered. "We left Sunnydale to B and Red."

"Thank god," Dean muttered.  "That place is supposed to be bad."

Xander nodded.  "Nightly patrols bad."  Dean shuddered.  So did John.  "I was on the team there.  Faith recently joined. Though, the girls aren't giving her a fair shake because she's not perky, blonde, and doesn't come from a middle class household like Willow and Buffy do."

She looked at him.  "You have two parents."

"When they're both aware," he shot back dryly.  She groaned.  "That's why I used to camp at Willow's."

"Damn, X."

"Yeah, exactly."  He looked at John again.  "I woke up with them.  I don't know why.  I don't know if it was something to do with the zombies who tried to bomb the school.  I don't know if it was something to do with the hellmouth opening and them working on it.  I don't know if it had to do with my first time or if it had to do with them sending me away for being normal.  All I know is that we need to find each other and figure out how to end this stupid curse before it gets us all killed.  Jethro was firm, but fair.  A decent guy who gave a damn about us, who were his niece and nephew, and his people."

"Uncle Horatio wasn't too bad but he was a bit distant," Faith said quietly, looking around.  "Guys, incoming."

Xander looked then pointed.  "Werewolf."  He pulled out something and slid it into his mini crossbow.  The werewolf lunged so he shot at it.  It fell down with a whimper.  "Sedative dart."

"We kill their kind," John said.

Xander knocked him down and glared at him.  "Not all werewolves are bad.  My friend is one and he's good.  He locks himself up.  Sometimes he gets out.  A dart fixes that."  He walked over to check him.  Her as it turned out.  "Female.  Faith, can we do the tying thing?"  She jogged back to the car to get rope, coming back to tie her to a tree.  When she changed back she'd be smaller and able to get free from the ropes.  He looked at Dean.  "We see worse than this weekly."  They walked off with Sam again.

Dean hauled his father up.  "We don't know that that one is bad."

"She's running free."

"She may have gotten free if she locks herself up.  They are stronger than most humans.  We'll watch and see if the cattle mutilations ended.  If so, we got the rogue.  If not, we know her lands now."  He walked off to catch up to them.  "So, how do we find them?"

"Horatio's in Miami," Faith told him.  "The others we're not sure about."

"I don't think it was coincidence that you got picked," Xander said after some thought.  "Or that you ended up in Sunnydale."  He looked at her.  "How strange is it that they're brothers in both lives when we were split and used to be twins?"

"You think someone intervened and there's a grouping?" Faith asked.  Xander nodded.  "So they might be clumped."

"They could be.  I have the feeling, and I don't know why, that Abigail is near Jethro.  Tony maybe too."

She nodded.  "Then we'll see, huh?"  She nudged Sam on the shoulder.  "At least we're hot as hell and know what we're doing."

He grinned.  "You've got to.  Xander hunts?"

"He does what he can on the nightly patrols to stake vamps."

Dean gaped at Xander, who shrugged.  "I jumped in after they took a friend.  Buffy doesn't really want to be a slayer most of the time."  Faith looked back at him.  "She came in saying she had retired.  She's called off for dates and things.  Now that Joyce knows it's easier but not that much."

"Still wears on a soul," Faith agreed.  Sam nodded at that.

Dean looked at Xander.  "Were you looking to retire?"

"I loathe vampires," he admitted quietly.  "We have yearly apocalypses."  Dean shuddered. "I help where I can after we got the bastard that killed my best friend.  Doesn't mean the girls want me to."

"So maybe a bit more supportive of an environment?" he suggested, moving closer.

Xander nodded.  "Could help, yeah.  I got to handle the zombies making the bomb to blow up the school while they were fighting the hellmouth because they decided I'm too normal after over two years."

"They wanted you safe, Xander," Faith pointed out.

"Then they should hand out body armor and something stronger than a stake, Faith."  She nodded at that.  "Not like Miss Float a Branch helps all that much."

"You, no magic," Faith ordered.

"Maybe this is why it goes screwy around me."

"Could be," Dean agreed.  "Who knows.  How screwy?"  Xander grinned.  "That bad?"

"I set a book on fire by reading from it in Latin."  Dean snickered.  "Willow claims she can't work around me.  I screw up her magic field."

"I think maybe she's got a problem beyond that.  I think Little Miss Float a Branch's problem is that she's attracted to you like other bad girls and wannabe bad girls."

Xander shrugged.  "Could be.  Does that make me the cool thing to do?"

"Nah, never hung with the cool kids," she teased.  She looked at Sam.  "When he remembered, he came over to wake me up.  Asked if us doing the nasty earlier in the night was incest since we were twins there."  Sam paused then broke out in cackles.  "I should've done that."

"I would've pouted, Faith."  He looked at Dean again.  "We'll work out the whole not gay thing sometime?"

"Sure," he agreed.  "You did?  She's a beautiful woman."  Faith blushed, walking off with Sam.

"Post slaying stress got to her.  I was there after hitting a demon with the old car to save her life.  My first time."  He grinned.  "Then I went to handle the zombies."

"Wow."

"Very."  He nodded.  "Coming?"  He nodded, walking off with him.  Faith had found the lone vamp in town and was fighting with it.  "Gut shot it," he called quietly.  She did then staked it.  Dean and Sam both gaped.  "Welcome to our world," Xander quipped.  "Hot and cold running vamps."  He looked back at John since he was chaperoning quite effectively by following them.  "That's what she's made to do."  He looked at Dean.  "I have suckier form."

"Form can be taught," he assured him.  "Sanity can't.  What about long distance weapons?"

"Slayers don't use guns," he said in a falsetto.  "Eww!  I'll never use one of those!  It's not right, Wesley!  I don't want to touch those things."  He looked at him.  "Buffy."

Dean moaned.  "We handle a lot of spirits but we use shotguns."

"Shotguns are nice," Xander agreed. "I could blow a vamp's head clear off with one."  Dean nodded at that. "Huh."  His phone rang.  He pulled it out to look at.  "Hey, Faith.  It's the library."

"Crap," she muttered, coming back with Sam following.

Xander answered it.  "Yeah?"  He sighed.  "I'm off with Faith finding out why we have past life memories," he said.  He put her on speaker.  "She's here too, Willow."

"I'm not concerned about her.  I'm concerned that you left!" she said hotly.

"Why?  Not like you wanted him," Faith quipped.  "I'm hurt, Red.  I thought we were buds."

"Not like that, Faith.  I mean... I like you and all but Xander's my best friend and he suddenly runs away.  What did you want me to think?  We weren't sure if you were vamped or not."

"Didn't get the letter I put in your mailbox?" Xander asked dryly.

"Well,  yeah."

"Then why think I was vamped since I wrote down what was going on, kinda?"

"Because you don't get things like that."

"Apparently he does," Dean said.  "Xander?"

"Willow," he said in explanation.   "Willow, this is Dean and his brother Sam."

"Hi," Sam said.

"And their father's around here somewhere.  We're fine.  Unfortunately I got jumped by the memories and we had to handle it or go nuts.  There was a curse that sent us out of our last life.  We have to find the others and figure out what the crap is that...."  He trailed off, looking at something.

Faith and Sam looked.  "If I had a book," Sam admitted.

Dean looked.  "Hey, Dad, got any idea?"

He shook his head.  "Not a clue."

"Hey, Willow, can you ask Angel if the hairy thing with one eye is a bad thing?"

"He's not here," she said impatiently.  "Make it go away."

"We're in a town's park, Willow.  We don't want it to go hurt others," Faith said impatiently.  "Well, can you speak and are you harmful?"

It bowed slowly to her, laying something down.  "Yours, Guardian Faith.  The realm needs the true heirs to come save us."

Xander hung up and moved closer.  The demon gaped then swallowed hard.  "If you're peaceful I won't be attacking.  You knew us before the curse?"

He nodded.  "You were Jethro's clan guardians.  His problem solvers.  The ones who patrolled and hunted for him when the borders were breached and the normal soldiers weren't enough.  Do you remember?"

"Starting to," Xander agreed.  "I started to remember a month ago.  Can you tell us which town?"

"Elatz, on Efrietz."

"Fins, brownish red skin, normal eye colors," Faith said, looking at Xander.

"With a name we can ask something higher how to get there," he pointed out.

"True."  She looked at the demon again then picked up her sword.  She moaned as the memories finished unlocking.  She let Xander hold it but nothing like that happened.  "Where's his scythes?"

"I have no idea.  We need the priests and the clan back before they destroy us."

"We'll do what we can," Dean promised.  "We're just now remembering tonight.  We need to find the others."

"Jethro is a soldier.  As is Mac.  Horatio is a soldier of a different sort."

"I know where Horatio is," Xander told him.  "Where's Mac, Jethro, Abigail, Tony, and the others?"

"Mac lords over his own cadre in a huge city by the sea that is cold yet special.  The heir is with him."

"New York?" Sam asked.  The demon nodded.  "Jethro?"

"A bland city that has nothing but power from those who claim they know the average sort's problems."

"DC," Faith said.  She got a smile and a nod.  "We'll find them.  Have someone come to us when we do.  Then we'll see what we can do."

"Yes, Guardian Faith.  This new calling makes you stronger than your twin.  It might keep him sane this time."

"I was sane last time," Xander complained.

"But pained and overactive.  You bounced."

"He still does, that's why I take the chocolate from him," Faith said dryly.  "Before it was the Groots berries."  The demon nodded, disappearing.  She took her sword back.  She looked at them.  "We have targets."

Xander called Oz.  "My man.  It's us.  Jethro's in DC.  He's a soldier.  Mac's in New York with some of us and he's a former soldier but right now he has a cadre.  It could be a cop.  Mac was way uptight.  Thanks, Oz."  He hung up.  "He'll look."  They shared a look.  "Which order?"

"Horatio's closet," Dean said.  "Then Jethro on the way up?  If the rest are up there, Mac can protect them."

"If one found us, the bad guys can," Sam countered.  "If they know the heir's with Mac, they could go for him."

"Bad point of breaking up is that I couldn't waken the memories, guys," Faith said.

Dean nodded.  "It did take Xander."

"I remembered but not why I remembered if that makes sense."

"That won't be enough for a cop or a soldier," Dean said.  That got a nod from Sam.   Xander's phone rang and he stepped off to write down information.  He said something quietly then hung up.  "Anything good?"

"Jethro's a Fed."  They all shuddered.  "He has Tony and Abigail."  They smiled.  "Mac has Stella, Don, and Jeris I think.  Or possibly another of the lesser family members."

"We need Stella," Faith said.  "She can probably waken memories very well.  Horatio, New York, then Jethro?"

Dean considered it then nodded.  "We can do that."

"Then let's head," Xander said to Faith, who kissed both boys.  "Hey!"

"Shut up, boytoy," she said with an evil smirk.  "We fought last time."  Sam blushed.  "Besides, they're cuter now."

"Still can't have them both.  It's rude."  He looked at Dean.  "Following?" he asked quietly.  "Or being a diversion?"

"We have plans to shift to another hunt.  We'll meet you in New York," John said.  They nodded.  Xander wrote down his number for Dean, who tucked it into his pocket.  "Have a good trip, kids."

"You too."  Xander gave them both hugs then stared at John.  "Protect them.  We might need them to stay sane."  He left with Faith, going back to the car.  They could drive for a few more hours then find their way to Miami.

John looked at his boys.  "This is insane."

Sam looked at him.  "Yeah, but it makes a lot of sense if that curse radiated."  Dean nodded, turning around to walk back to their car.  He slugged his brother on the arm.  "I should be mad you kissed Faith."

"She kissed me, dude.  Test driving the merch," he said smugly.

Sam glared.  "What're we going to do about you being gay, Dean?"

"I am not," he growled.

"Uh-huh.  Xander was right, we can't both have Faith."  He jogged ahead to get the front seat since he was taller.

John sighed, shaking his head.  "This is going to complicate the hunt for that demon."

"Faith and Xander might be able to help," he pointed out.  "A slayer could help, Dad."

"Could," he agreed.  "Not if you're on another realm though."

"Maybe we can use it to get more intel on that demon," Dean said.

"That might help even more, son."  He got in to drive.  Dean got into the back seat.  John had a lot to think about.  Including the pseudo-spouses being insane.  Stakes?

***

Xander found Horatio, stopping just out of sight to watch what was going on.  Red hair.  He hadn't expected that.  The rest of them had dark hair.  Horatio always had been the different one of the brothers so a bit of a strange thing wasn't going to throw him off.  He saw a familiar feeling woman.  "Who was she?" he muttered.  Then he hit himself on the head.  "Taylis."  He turned and found someone standing there.  He smirked.  "Rial."

He frowned.  "What?"

Xander stared at him.  "Good morning."

"At least that's in English.  Why are you watching us, sir?"  He pulled out his badge.

"Because I need to talk to Horatio about something."

The guy stared at him then at the redhead, who was watching them.  He shrugged and motioned Horatio over.

The woman looked then her eyes went wide behind her sunglasses.  "Xander!"  She ran over to hug him.  "Oh, baby.  We missed you."  She pulled back to look at him.  Then she looked at Speed, pulling him closer.  "Rial and Xander."

Xander grinned.  "Faith's at the motel sleeping off the trip."  He looked at Horatio.  "Uncle."

He frowned.  "Do I know you?"

Xander got free and moved closer, staring at him.  He took off his sunglasses and Horatio did the same.  He continued to stare.  "You should with as many times as you tried to beat manners into me for my father."

"I..."  He heard Alexx start babbling in a language he didn't know but apparently Speed did.  Then it clicked.  "Xander."  He looked at the boy.  "You're younger."

"And more brash.  Faith is back at the motel.  I woke up a little over a month ago remembering."  He grinned back at the mother and son.  Then at his uncle.  "It's nice that so many of us are grouped together."

"You and Faith?"

"No.  They split us.  Dean and Sam are brothers again.  Dad's in New York."

"I know Mac."  He frowned.  "Why not?"

"No clue but apparently the curse that did it is resonating.  We got asked for some help."

Horatio slid back into his sunglasses.  "I have no idea what to do."

Xander nodded.  "Us either.  We've been going around to wake memories.  It was easier to find you, Dean, and Sam.  And boy, is their dad freaked."

"As I am slightly."  His hands drifted to his hips and he scowled.  "We'll just have to try.  Where is Jethro?"

"DC.  He's a Fed of some sort.  Tony and Abigail are near him."

He smiled.  "Excellent."

"We think Jeris is alive in New York."

Horatio looked at him over the top of his sunglasses.  "How?"

Xander shrugged.  "How and why did Faith, Dean, Sam, and I end up being demon hunters, Uncle Horatio?" he asked quietly.  "How did you end up with the mother hen of the castle with her son, my best friend, here, when they died a few years back there?"

"Good point."  He slowly reached over to brush some of the hair off the boy's face.  "We will figure it out.  I can get Mac to talk to me."

"I'm not sure if talking over the phone will wake the memories.  It took Taylis to wake up Rial's."

"He was always stubborn," Horatio said dryly.

"Not cute," Speed said.  "Eric's here with Frank."  He looked at the boy.  "Where are you two?"

"The Garden of Delights.  Faith nearly broke the guy's hand when he asked her how much she charged."

"That's a downside of that sort of place," Alexx said grimly.

"It's cheap," Xander pointed out.  He looked at him.  "We have to wake up Dad's memories then Jethro's.  The one that brought Faith her sword said the curse is coming and they need help."

"Which means we're being hunted," Horatio said.

"Possibly since one's over there," Xander said with a point.  "And silly me, I left the silver bullets at home."

"Eric," Horatio said.  He came over.  "Do you see that man with the bandage on his head?" he asked quietly.  Eric glanced around, looking like he was checking his camera for light exposure, nodding slightly.  "We think he is a threat to us.  Do it subtly."

"Yes, H."  He went to look at the crowd.  "Does anyone have any cellphones or video equipment they used to tape things?  If so, we need to download the film.  We can do it in the hummers so we don't have to confiscate it."  The demon attacked and the boy growled, but dove in to help him by blocking his blow from the sword.

"Not very bright," Xander jeered with a smirk.  The demon gave him a horrified look, trying to back up.  Eric was there.  "Pity."  The man lunged at him and Xander fought back, ducking the sword's blows.  "You know, if I had one, it'd be easier to do this.  Yay me."  He ducked another blow then got him from behind, giving him a shove with his foot.  The demon went stumbling forward and Xander followed, beating the crap out of him.  He panted, but got him down and took his sword.  "Who are you and who sent you?" he sneered.

"There's a bounty for each clan member's head.  Three thousand Gouldits."

Xander stared at him.  "Not a bad price but fairly stupid of you to try for it.  Did you think some of us weren't warriors?"

"Please!"

"Xander," Horatio said.  "Let me have him."

The demon looked then broke out crying.  "Please, no!"

"Have him," Xander said, keeping the sword.  "Look, video cameras," he told Eric with a point.  He went to confiscate them while Alexx looked him over.  "I'm fine.  Quit fussing."

"Shut up!"

He smiled.  "But Mom!"

She laughed.  "Fine. You will be bringing Faith over tonight so I can fuss over her."

"If you want to try, go ahead, but I doubt it'll work all that well.  She won't let me do it."

"She *will* let me."  She let him go.  "Not even a scratch."

"You learn things fighting the things with huge claws."  He looked at Horatio.  "When and where?"

"We'll come see you.  Go out for dinner," he decided.  That got a nod and the boy walked off.  "Xander, you were near the crime scene, we need to check your clothes and shoes."

Xander groaned, taking them off and dropping them there then hiking to his car in his shiny briefs.  It was Miami, they'd think it was a bathing suit.

Alexx shook her head.  "That boy is still insane."

"Yup," Horatio said, cracking her up.

"H, can I have an explanation?" Eric asked.

"No.  Not yet, Eric."

"Okay.  Let me know when I can."

Horatio looked at him.  "Of course I will."  He clapped him on the back.  "There you go."  He walked the demon off to talk to him, ignoring his crying and pleading for mercy.  "I can't kill you here.  Too many have video cameras."  He looked at the demon.  "I want to know everything, demon.  Now."  The demon nodded, blabbering while crying.  "Can you try it without the tears and sniffs?"  He went back over it while Horatio made mental notes.  Then he let his people arrest the man.  He had attacked someone at his crime scene.  That was not allowed in Miami.

***

Faith looked up as Xander walked in.  "Why are you nearly naked?"

"There's a bounty on us.  One of them tried to attack me and Horatio at the crime scene he was working.  By the way, he's a redhead and Taylis is here with her son Rial."

"Okay."

"We're going to dinner and she said she's going to fuss."

"Hell no."

"I warned her.  You can duck it too."  He got into his bag to get new clothes.  "Anything from anyone else?"

"B called to whine."

"Demon slime mess up her hair or she's overrun?"

"Pouting because this means she can't have a night off for some date time."

"Sorry but more important.  Especially since there's a three thousand Gouldit bounty on us.  Each."  She gave him an odd look.  He nodded.  "He attacked with a sword in front of people watching the cops work the crime scene."

"You're not armed."

"I can duck.  I did learn that skill too," he quipped, sitting down to put on socks.  "They said they'd be here later to take us to dinner."

"That's cool.  I could eat."

"Horatio's a redhead."

"Really?  Why?  We're all brunettes."

"No idea.  Then again, Horatio was the maverick of the family."

"Good point."  She flopped back down again.  "Let me sleep, X."

"Go ahead.  I can watch."  She nodded, curling around her sword.  He smiled at her back once she was out.  He used his new digital camera he had gotten off a vamp in Louisiana to take a picture of her.  Then he took the same vamp's laptop to mail it to Sam's email account.  It was a cute picture.  A sword teddy bear.  How very Faith.  He scanned his own email, finding one from Dean.  He was still freaked over the gay stuff.  Xander was too but hey, sometime they had to deal with it.  He wrote him back then went back to looking for his scythes.  They had to be somewhere.  Faith's sword had been.  His had been in his room.  Maybe they were still there.  He'd find out when they went back.

***

Horatio looked at the two children.  They were so young.  "Kids."

Faith snorted.  "Been a while since I was one of those."

"We all said that at your age," Speed assured her.  "Even being a slayer and having a destiny."  She spit at that.  "Fine.  Now what?"

"We have to wake Mac's memories," Xander said.  "If we're right and Jeris is up there too, we'll figure it out."  That got a nod.  "I know Don is from what Oz found.  Stella too."

"Don and Stella work with Mac," Horatio agreed.  "Jeris I'm not sure about."

"He was dead when the curse happened," Faith said.  "He probably didn't keep his name since the other two didn't and they died a few years before the sitch happened."

Xander nodded.

"There's a number of people in his lab if he's gathered him," Horatio said.  But he knew.  "Messer.  It has to be."

Speed nodded.  "Could be."  He looked at them.  "So hi, remember me, then leave?"

"We'll be back.  Where else am I going to be able to look a bikinis all day?" Xander quipped.  "Especially since Dean and I aren't gay in this life."  Horatio moaned.  "And they both like Faith."

"Not my fault I'm hot," she teased.

"Good point.  Your hotness is something I appreciate too," he quipped.  "I still say it's incest even though we're not related here."

"Not this again," she complained while Speed laughed.

"Kids," Horatio said.

"That's how he woke my memories, Horatio."

Horatio looked at Xander.  "I agree.  Especially with Dean and Sam being brothers again.  Why split up you two?"

"People were scared of us," Faith said.  "We were more visible than our mates."

"Good point."  He shifted in his seat.  "When are you leaving for New York?"

"Two days," Xander said.  "There's a museum I want to look at," he said when Faith gave him an odd look.  "They have a scythe here."

"It's probably still in your room," Faith complained.

Xander shrugged.  "I still want them back."

Horatio coughed.  "The scythe isn't yours, Xander.  It's blued steel and leather."

"Damn.  Any idea where mine is?"

"No.  It could be in a private collector's hands."

Xander pouted.  "My scythe."

Speed patted him on the back.  "You'll figure it out."

Xander nodded.  Faith smirked.  "Maybe with luck it's with a vamp and we can take it back."

"Hopefully," Xander agreed.  He sat up.  "Who knows everything that goes on?"

"You think the Watchers have it?"

"Yeah.  Or I think they'd know."  He called Giles.  "It's us.  I am looking for a pair of scythes that are about twelve inches long with handle.  Handle's tapered to a point in the back.  Silver mixed blades.  Last time I knew they had blue leather grips.  Because they used to be mine, Giles.  Does that sound like something the Council might have or might know where it is?  Yes, from there.  Giles, look up the name Jethro.  He was an overlord of a realm.  One that kept a lot of peace but they probably hated us for being firm yet fair."  Giles stuttered something.  "What were his guardian's names?"  He looked it up then breathed.  "Exactly.  Actually, I'm looking at Horatio, Giles, and there's a bounty.  The ones that kicked us with that curse are now hunting us.  I'm not safe to be around Buffy for a bit.  Faith and I are fine.  She got back her sword and I'd like my scythes if you hear of where they are.  Thanks, man."  He hung up when Giles said Willow wanted to speak to him.  "Willow was going to help."

She patted him on the arm.  "The weirdness is going to continue as long as she keeps pushing it."

Xander looked at her.  "No it won't.  I won't let it."  She nodded at that.  "Even if Dean and I aren't gay this life."

"Maybe Sam is and we'll switch?" she teased.

"Maybe a quad," he taunted back with an evil smirk.

"That would be incest on their parts," Horatio pointed out.

"Damn," Xander muttered.  Faith giggled.  "We'll figure that out.  Stop the bounty first then move on."

Horatio nodded.  "I called Mac earlier.  He said they've been having a lot of problems with cases."  He paused.  "I think you should talk to Stella or Don first, kids.  If they need a key, one of them is probably it. Or it'll be Jethro himself."

"They were both Marines," Xander said dryly.

Horatio stared.  "You're kidding."

"No.  Both with sniper qualifications."

Horatio moaned, shaking his head.  "Wonderful."

"I'm still wondering why you're the only redhead," Xander said with a grin.

Horatio smirked back.  "Just lucky."

Faith shook her head.  "He's making a lot of little connections."  Speed smiled at that.  "I got the rest of mine when I got my sword."

"Which means it's no fair if I don't get my scythes," he pointed out, giving her a look.  "Beyond the fact that Stella gave them to me."  She nodded at that.  He looked at Horatio.  "Can you protect yourself and Rial?"

"I can.  We're pretty decent with it.  We can do a weapons check."

"Sam said they'd be here to handle something in another week," Faith offered.  "Have John help, Xan?"

"Could help."  He shifted to cure the numbness he was getting.  "I have no idea what we'll do after that.  How would we even get there?"

Faith shrugged.  "There's others who can get us there I'm sure."

Xander looked at her.  "Good point."  He grinned.  "Thanks for being the smarter half today."

"Welcome."

Horatio smiled.  "You two can have my guest room.  It'd save you money."

"We found a techie vamp," Xander told him.  "It wasn't that great of a fight."

"I do not like that income generation method," Horatio noted calmly.

"They've got to go," Faith told him.  "It's my calling and his training.  They create problems and they're dangerous to leave littering around."

"Most of them don't know what tact is either," Xander agreed.  "You've had three recently in one of the barrios."  Speed moaned.  "We hunted them down last night.  That's why Faith was napping while I came to find you."

"Welcome," Faith said.

Horatio looked at them.  "Did anyone see you?"

"In the vamp bar?" she asked dryly.  "Not if they value their remaining dusty lives."

"Good."  He looked at the twins.  They were so young.  "We'll handle it.  Wake up Mac and then we'll gather in DC."  That got a nod.  "Jethro should want to make plans."

Xander nodded, standing up.  "I can fly up," he told Faith.

"We're safer together."

"Horatio can't use a sword.  Neither can Rial."

"Good point."  She looked up at him.  "I don't like this splitting."

"We'll be in DC soon enough.  Within a month."  He kissed her on the head.  "Protect the uncle and near family."  He left, going to the motel to pack his bag and head.  Her stuff was there in the car.  He left it with her.  She could use it.  Not like he could carry the weapons on the plane anyway.

Horatio looked at her.  "He'll be fine.  Mac is very protective once Xander wakes his memories.  He won't even let the boy go out alone if I read Mac right."

She smiled.  "That's going to suck for me when I want to have some fun."

"Better to have fun down here," Speed teased.

"Good point."  She grinned back.  "Can we?"

"Sure.  Eric clubs. We can go find one."  She nodded and they took her back to the motel.  She got changed and they went out for the night.  It was good to relax.

***

Xander found Stella's precinct.  He also found Don and Jeris.  "Huh.  He was right."  He looked around then walked over.  There were a few officers.  "Beautiful priestess of the goddess, can I have a moment?"

She stared at him.  "I'm flattered but you're too young, Xander.   Hold on, do I know you?"

"Do you?" he asked with a smirk.

She gasped, pulling him closer.  "Xander!"

"Yeah.  Welcome to us."  He grinned at Don.  "Cousin."

"Huh?"

She swatted him on the head and he blinked then shook his head.  "Remembering Xander now?"

"Yeah, I am."  He stared at him.  "What the hell?"

"Kinda."  He looked at Danny.  "Jeris."

"No, I'm Danny.  Is this some sort of strange contact contamination?  Maybe a drug?"

"No."

Stella pulled Danny off to the side of the building, staring at him then she kissed him on the forehead.  He stiffened.  Then he pouted.  "No fair."  He looked at Xander.  "You were younger when I died."

"I was.  Faith's in Miami protecting Uncle Horatio, Rial, and Taylis."  He looked at Don.  "Mac's here.  Jethro's in DC.  There's a bounty on us.  Three thousand Gouldits."

"Crap," he muttered.

"The curse is coming.  The one that sent us here."  He waved a hand around, running into a body.  He stared.  Then at Stella.  "He's pissed."

"He's had a grumpy day."  She popped him on the head.  "Quit scowling at Xander, Mac."

Mac looked at him.  "Do we know you?"

"You used to."

Mac frowned.  "When?"  Xander turned to look at him, arms crossed over his chest, his weight canted.  "You're ruining your posture."  He shook his head.  "Why did that come out?"

"You were a great dad, Mac," Xander said quietly.  "You nagged me for months about my posture until Uncle Jethro made you stop."

"Jethro?"  He rubbed his forehead.  "I have a headache."  Xander pulled out a picture, letting him see it.  "Faith?  How do I know this?" he demanded.

"Repressed memories," Xander said with a dry smirk.  "It'll come."  He stepped closer, letting his arms down, staring into his eyes.  "You are the most fussy father ever," he said quietly.  Mac stiffened then shook his head.  "Remembering fins?"

Stella backed Xander off then got to work on him.  She had her memories.  "Why make you the key?" she asked him.

"No idea.  Maybe because I was in such a dangerous area.  I'm damn lucky I survived this long.  Faith too.  Horatio's a redhead for some reason.  I almost think they did it so they could mark him.  He was better at hiding in plain sight than the rest of us were.  Oh, and Dean says he's not gay this time, but Faith likes them both."

Mac moaned, resting against the building.  "Enough, Xander.  Let me have a headache in peace?"

"Sure."

"Let's get you to your office," Stella ordered.

"Yes, priestess."

"Good."  She walked him off, the three boys following her.  She ran into Hawkes.  "Headache."

"I think he has something in his desk."  He followed to check him over.  "He should be fine.  It doesn't look like a migraine."

"Some repressed memories," Xander said with a grin.  "We can handle it."  Hawkes looked at him.  Xander grinned brighter.  "I'm the key to the memories."

"Why?"

"I don't know why they did that to me.  That's what I'm trying to figure out.  That and to warn them that there's a bounty on us."  Hawkes moaned.  "Sorry.  Can we have a few before you go into super fuss mode?"

"I don't fuss like that, kid.  I'm a doctor."

Xander nodded. "That's a great thing but you guys scare me."  He walked out snickering.

"That's because you wouldn't let anyone bandage your injuries when you got them," Mac complained from the couch.

"They'd fuss.  Taylis did plenty of that."

"Yes, Alexx does," Stella said.  Xander grinned.  "I can't believe Speed was one of us."

"Yup.  Confused the hell outta him.  Alexx was the key to the group down there once I got there."  He looked at Mac, then got something off the wall, handing it to him.  "Faith needed hers.  I'm still trying to find mine."

Mac looked at his Corps sword then at him.  "I remember, Xander.  It just gave me a headache."

"I woke up wondering if sleeping with Faith in this life was incest."

Mac frowned.  "Yes."

"Fine."  He sat near his feet.  "Now what?"

"Who's left?" Stella asked.

"Jethro, Tony, and Abigail are in DC.  Jethro's a Fed," Xander told her.  "We're going to gather there.  If we can get John to release his boys.  He's a bit freaked out about Dean and Sam."

"If they were my kids I'd be freaked too," Don admitted, sitting down.  "Sit, Danny."  He sat down too.  "Who's after us?"

"I guess whoever cursed us to start over this way so they could take over.  I know it's three thousand Gouldits.  They admitted as much to us in Miami when one tried to attack us."  That got a nod.  "Faith's with them.  She's a called slayer."

Mac frowned.  "What?"

"Dean, Sam, me, and Faith are demon hunters," Xander said dryly.  "Faith's a called vampire slayer.  Destined and all that.  I jumped in after a friend died.  I was living somewhere called a hellmouth.  It's a buffet for demons and vamps."

Mac moaned.  "That's not helping the headache any."

"Sorry."  He looked at Stella.  "We're going to gather after we wake up Jethro.  The one who gave Faith her sword back begged for help for our realm.  They need us."

She nodded.  "I can see why."  She stroked over his cheek.  "Relax, Xander.  No one will attack us here.  New York's a big city but we're safe within the PD."

"Unless one of them is one of you."  He pointed.  "He was from a rival clan."

She looked.  "That doesn't really surprise me.  Don, your boss."

He looked then waved at Gerrard.  "Doesn't surprise me either with as hostile as he is to you guys."  His boss stomped in.  "Sir."

He looked at him.  "Suspect?"

"Old friend," Stella said with a smile.  "Mac has a headache.  Keep the growling down."

He glared at the boy.  "I know you from somewhere."

"Really?  Are you demonic?" he asked dryly.  The man growled and pulled cuffs.  "Find a warrant, dude.  I know damn well you can't."

"I can arrest you while we look.  Get you lost in Rikers."

"Maybe," Xander agreed.  "But I'm not the average guy."  He stood up.  "Looking for a bounty?"

"No.  Just to take out little pissants."  He undid one of the cuffs.  "C'mon, boy.  Try it."

"Sit," Stella snapped.  Xander sat.  "Gerrard, leave the kid alone."

"He probably drugged Taylor."

"Never touch the stuff.  Life is strange enough without it," Xander quipped.  Don glared at him.  "It is."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at Gerrard.  "Hey, boss, I'm being called to LA for a bit to help an old friend.  I'll have papers on your desk tomorrow."  Gerrard stomped off.  "Not wise, Xander."

"He started it!"

"I don't care," Don said dryly.  "Don't."

"Yes, Don."

"Thank you."  He looked at Stella then at Mac.  "DC?"

"DC," she agreed.

"I don't have that much leave time," Danny pointed out.

Xander nodded.  "That happens.  It might not take that long."  He looked at her.  "I can fly down tonight.  See if I can wake up anyone."  He called Dean's phone.  "It's me.  I'm in New York; we need to hit DC.  Why are you in Arkansas?"  He rolled his eyes.  "Steal the car and your brother?"  He smirked.  "There probably are higher blocks on him but Abby knows what we do.  She's goth."  He laughed.  "Thanks, Dean.  Tonight or tomorrow.  Sure, see you then."  He called Miami.  "We're ready to head to DC soon.  Tonight, tomorrow, sometime around then, Faith.  Sure.  I called Dean.  They're in Arkansas."  He laughed.  "Yup.  I suggested he take the car.  Sure, see you there."  He hung up and looked at her.  "She'll be there in about two days she thinks.  Horatio's arranging it."

"He does good with that," Mac said quietly. "We can't just take off."

Xander looked at him.  "You'd rather stay here and die?"

"No."

"Then figure it out and get down there as soon as you can.  With any luck it'll only take a few days."  He stood up.  "After all, if I as a teenager can help save this world, we may be able to go save that one."  He left, going to make plans on how to get to DC.   He still had some room on that vamp's wallet.  Not a lot though.  A bus it was.  He grabbed his bag from the motel and headed down there on the next Greyhound.  Don could fight very well.  Mac had been a master of it. Those skills had to come through now.  Stella could guard them very well he was sure.

Don looked at Mac.  "We'll do it, Mac.  Then we'll figure out if this is going to impact the job."  Mac nodded.  "What do I do about the boss?"

"He clearly wants to kill some of us," Danny said dryly.

"I'll put in the paperwork," Stella said, moving to the desk to do that.  An emergency helping a friend in a bad situation happened to people like cops.  They were the first to jump in usually.  Don filled out his own for her.  They went around Gerrard.  By the time he heard they were gone, they'd be in DC.  If Mac ever got over his headache.

Danny leaned down.  "At least your son's partially sane," he said with a grin.

Mac looked at him.  "Then why does he hunt demons?"

"Don't know.  Ask him."

"I will once we're all back together again."  He made himself sit up and take something for the headache the memories had given him.  Being a father was harder than he had expected.  He moved to look up what a vampire slayer was.  That didn't sound like a healthy career path to him.

***

Abby looked at the guy trying hard not to watch her.  "Do I know you?" she asked finally, walking over to look at him.

"You were pretty young the last time I saw you."

"I'm older than you."

"Here."  He grinned.  "It'll come back, Abby.  I need to see Tony or Jethro.  Tony preferably."

"Tony's at the office."

"I can't find him at the office."  He looked at her.  "Xander Harris."  She gaped then hugged him.  He gave her a squeeze.  "It's our sort of thing.  Others are converging to help them with something but there's some locked memory stuff going on."

"How do you know?"

"Because apparently I'm a key to it."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Let me get Tony."

"If he's working I don't want to endanger him but there's been a few problems, like a hunt for us with the memories."

"Ooooh.  Gibbs won't like that."  She dialed Tony's phone.  "Where are you?"  She smiled. "I am looking at one Xander Harris, who said he needs to see you about some repressed memories.  You or Gibbs, you preferably."  Xander nodded.  "We're at lunch.  I can do that.  Is it about a case, Xander?"

"No, not yet."

"He said not yet.  Which is a very odd answer.  Sure, I can do that."  She hung up.  "After work, seven, on the Mall."

"With the Smithsonians or the regular mall?"

"With the museums."

"Okay, I can be there.  I'll be by the Air and Space."

"Good."  She gathered her stuff.  "See you then."  She jogged off.

Xander sat down and went back to his lunch.  He looked over when he felt Faith get closer.  "Hey.  Burger?"  She stole it from him.  "Hungry?" he teased.

"Yup."  She looked at him.  "That's not a bad place."

"We might even get some sightseeing," he teased.

"Maybe.  Dean and Sam will be here tonight.  Dean hates flying."

"Don't much blame him," Xander admitted.  "How active is the town?"

"Six or seven clubs.  About what you'd expect in a real city."  She finished his burger.  "You're sure about Tony?"

"Would you guard us more heavily or him?"

"Him."

"Abby has no idea about it."

"She was little."  That got a nod.  "Okay.  Horatio's back at the hotel."  They cleaned up their mess then went to make plans.  Mac, Stella, Don, and Danny were there too.  Horatio had coordinated all that.  They walked in.

"Seven, at the mall outside the Air and Space," Xander said.

Horatio nodded.  "Open, good plans.  That'll work."  He found that map to look it over.  "Here's a nice bench."  Xander nodded, sitting down to go over it with him.  "We'll need to scout some."

"We can do that," Mac agreed.  "Don, Danny, Stella, you three take perimeter.  Move in when they show up."  That got a nod.  "Watch for an attack.  We're vulnerable then."  He looked at Horatio.  "Did you get a headache?"

"No but they're not my children," he quipped dryly.

"We're angels," Xander shot back with an evil smirk.

"Yeah, could be Buffy," Faith quipped.

"That's a horrible thought.  Mac having a fashionable daughter who wears short skirts and heels on patrol."

Faith spit at her twin.  "Leather pants are much more practical."

"Yeah."

"Kids," Mac said.  They went back to planning.  "Did Abby know anything?"

"Me," Xander said with a grin.  "I got hug.  She hugs nice."

"That's good."  He patted him on the head.  "If she found what I did, I'm going to scream, son."

Xander pouted.  "I had to."

"Bull."

"I did."

"No you didn't."

"They took my best friend.  Yes I did.  Besides, why let one tiny, blonde, former cheerleader do it all by herself?"

"That's a point," Don agreed.

"Still dangerous," Stella said.

"That's probably half the point," Faith said.  "I'm a slayer.  That comes with a really short life span once you're called.  He's a demon magnet born on a convergence point."

"Take out the keys so we'd never get the memories back," Horatio said, looking at Mac.  "Then we could be hunted down easier."  Mac nodded. "Xander wondered why I'm a redhead."

"Because you hid in plain sight better than us.  It makes you more noticeable," Xander said.

"Could be," Horatio admitted.  "You do use tactics out there?"

"Now and then when it comes in handy.  It doesn't always.  Patrol is patrol.  Stake and move on."

"I do not like that career," Mac said.

"John's been hunting demons with his kids since Sam was a baby," Xander said dryly.

"At least you two will understand your mates," Stella taunted with an evil smirk.

"Dean says he's still not gay and neither am I," Xander shot back.  "Plus Faith likes them both."

She sighed.  "You'll work it out, Xander."

"They could claim this broke the link.  That would negate the mating," Xander pouted.  "Then I'd have to find another weapons nut who loved me and was a girl.  Those are harder to find."

"We work with one," Horatio told him.

Xander looked at him. "She's a bit too squealy for me, Horatio.  I stared in awe and lust at her but she's too preppy for me.  She'd never get dirty with me."

"She's not that preppy, Xander.  She's a very complex woman."

"Who squeals," Faith told him.

"As bad as Willow?"

"Yup."

"Huh."  He shook his head.  "Less preppy, more gun nut."  That got a mass of smiles but he could ignore them.  "Did we give Rial and Taylis a way to protect themselves?"

"After cleaning Speed's gun on him," Horatio said dryly.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "He doesn't like carrying a weapon."

"I will spank."

"So did I."  Xander grinned then went back to the plans.  He and Mac shared a look.  The kids needed some normal people time after this was over with.  Mac shrugged subtly.  They'd handle it together if Jethro didn't.

***

Tony DiNozzo walked into a the appointed area, looking around.  He saw a boy and a girl, walking that way since they were staring at him.  "Faith?" he asked.  She smirked and nodded.  He looked at the other one.  "Xander."  The memories hit and he groaned, holding his head.

"The memories hurt," Xander agreed.  "Mac got a horrible headache."

"He's your father, he should with how wild you two ran."  He looked at them, blinking away the tears.  "Why now?"

"The curse is back.  I remembered," Xander said.  "Someone's put a bounty on us."

Tony sat down between them.  "Who else knows?"

"We got you three last."

Tony sighed, nodding.  "That's probably wisest.  Where are the others?"  Xander pointed at the ones coming out of the light gloom of dusk.  They all gathered, Mac watching around them.  Tony smiled.  "Mac Taylor."

"DiNozzo.  Good to work with you again."

Tony looked at Horatio.  "Why are all of us brunettes except you?"

"Xander thinks it's because I hid better.  It makes me more noticeable."

"Oh."  He looked at the twins.  "Now what?"

"We got asked for help," Faith said.  She held up her sword.  "One of them brought it to me.  Once we got to Miami someone tried to attack Horatio and his crew."

Tony nodded.  "We've got to wake the other's memories."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah."  He stood up, pulling Tony up.  "We have no idea if they buried them further on Uncle."

"It'd make sense if they did.  Who did it anyway?"

"Still finding out," Xander said.  "Faith and I hunt demons.  We're using some contacts."  Dean and Sam walked over.  "Them too."

"Still not gay, Xander," Dean said.

"You'll work it out," Tony assured him.  "Feel lucky you're not a breeder here."  They both shuddered.  So did Faith and Xander.  "Why now?"

"We're old enough," Faith said.  "We're in danger constantly.  We don't know what woke X's memories up.  Could be any number of things."

"I got that lecture from Abby."

"She didn't remember."

"She was newly hatched," Tony sighed.  "She wouldn't."  He thought for a minute.  "Okay."  He tapped in a code on his phone.  Jethro came walking out.  "Boss."

"DiNozzo.  Strange gathering."  The young man walked over to stare at him.  "Who're you?"

"Xander.  That's Faith."

He stared.  "I don't know you two."

Stella moved closer then touched his head.  Jethro groaned, holding it.  "Mac had the same sort of reaction."  They got him onto the bench, letting him calm himself down.  He looked up at her.  "Hi, boss."

"Stella."  He looked around, spotting one familiar face.  "Jeris?"

"Danny, please."

"Why now?  Why not earlier?"

"Someone or something woke up X's memories," Faith told him.  "We went looking. There's a bounty on us all.  Three grand of gouldits each."  Gibbs growled at that.

"They gave Faith back her sword when they asked for help," Xander said more quietly.  "Apparently the ones who did this aren't that kind."

Jethro looked at him.  "Where's your scythes?"

"No clue.  I'm still looking.  I'm also looking for what happened, who did it, and how do we get back there."

"Perhaps I can help with that?" an older, genteel, British voice said.

"Why am I not surprised you know about this, Ducky?" Tony asked.

"Do you think it was an accident I found and befriended Jethro?" he countered with a smirk.

Xander gaped then went to his knees.  "High Priest."

"Lad.  Get up."  He pulled him up.  "I'm not the only one here.  Many of us escaped."  He patted his priests on the back.  "You two have done excellent helping each other.  She would be proud."  He looked at the children.  "There is a gateway.  You can gather information there.  There's also a celebration of ten years of tyranny that's about to happen.  Jeris or Abigail need to go back there."

Jethro looked at him.  "Why now?"

"Apparently the right conditions were met to wake Xander's memories up.  He always was nearly one of us.  Too wild but one of us."

"Are my scythes there?" Xander asked.

"No, lad.  The Council has them."

"Figures," Faith snorted.  "I got the rest of my memories when I got my sword."

"I believe he'll get his once he steps back across the barrier.  It would be slightly safer as well since they've integrated some of their hunters into federal service."  He looked at her.  "And the Watchers Council."

"Yay them," she said.  "Not like I have one."

"So I've heard.  Quite impressive, Faith."  She smiled at that.  "As I expect to continue."  He stroked her cheek.  "You have such a muddy future but you can clarify it if you wish."  She nodded.  "This will keep you from the darkness that can come from the hunting."

"Depression or other darkness?" Xander asked.

"The one that drives you," Ducky said, staring at him.  "Leave the life, Xander."

"They need me."

"After this, go study for a year then come back."

Xander nodded. "Yes, High Priest."

"Good lad."  He smiled.  "At the end of this year you'll be needed back there to help in Sunnydale.  I'm afraid they'll have a major problem that will need a more militaristic approach to defend the town from an ascension."  Xander groaned, calling that back to them so they could start looking it up now.  "Come, Jethro.  Mother won't mind in the least if you use it."  They gathered in their cars, heading back to Ducky's house with him.  He got them into the house and down to the basement.

"A closet?" Tony asked with a slight grin.  "How typical."

"Well, it is traditional but it's also a good way to hide the nasty portal mirrors."

Xander nodded.  "Better than in a stone demon."  Faith gave him an odd look.  "Alcaltha."

"Oh."

Ducky looked at him, laying a hand on the boy's head again, then sighed.  "Xander."

"Someone has to."

"I know, lad.  When the time comes, jump in.  They may not trust but do so anyway.  Use the time to get a bit more steady with your mate."

"I'm not gay.  Why does everyone want me to be gay?" Dean complained.  "Make the bitchy little brother gay, dude."

Ducky stared at him.  Then he shook his head.  "There are more important matters than whether or not you can enjoy your mate, Dean."

"Yes, sir," he said, slumping some.  "Still not fair if I'm going to die without getting some next."

"I'm not the neighborhood bicycle," Faith said dryly, giving him a dirty look.

He grinned.  "I'm more fun than Sammy."

"I'm having flashbacks," Mac moaned.

"I'm not smart enough for Sam," Xander told him.  He opened the doors, looking at the mirror.  "Where does it lead to?"

"The old temple.  It's been shut for a long time but there's a tavern nearby.  You should be able to find information there."  Xander nodded, walking through first.  Horatio followed quickly.  "Always so brash."

Mac looked at him.  "It shows in his current hunting.  Thank you."  He followed.  It felt like walking through a waterfall but he came out the other side as a human.  He looked at himself to make sure.  "No fin."

"We'll stand out," Xander said.  He found a few robes and handed one over, then put on his own.  "Gylicka won't mind.  Much."  They also put on theirs as they came through.  Jethro last with Abby.  He handed her one.  "Gylicka's servants can be human or human looking."  That got a nod.  "We can say we're heading past this land to go to Voras."  He turned and threw a knife at the demon coming in.  It fell with a thump.  "Still have it."  He pulled up his hood.  "Talk quietly, walk slowly.  Hide the weapons underneath the robe.  They're allowed to carry them for defense."   That got a nod and they headed out together.  Faith found the tavern and went in to get them rooms.  They had to share but it was safer that way.  Faith took Abby, Jethro, Tony, and Sam.  Xander got the others so they could plan.  Though he went down to listen to gossip and ask some careful questions.  One of them stared at him.  He stared back.  "I'm very pretty but pure.  As He demands.  Sorry to ruin your thoughts."

"Do I know of you?"

"No."  He smiled.  "Not yet.  Some day maybe I'll be High Priest if He calls."  That got a laugh.  Xander bought him a round of beer, watching him get drunk so he could talk to him.  A village elder's son was a precious thing to have on your side.  When the son had wandered home he went back upstairs, going to report to them.  Jethro made plans with Mac.  Horatio added input.  Then they went to sleep for the night.  In the morning they walked off, heading out as a traveling group.  That didn't look too odd.

***

The guards in the capitol city stopped them.  "No priests in the city," one said.

Abby looked at them.  "We were told to pay our respects at each and every temple."

"Ours was destroyed years ago.  Are you new?" he demanded.

"I'm from farther away," she protested.  "I never get news in my village."  She tried not to fidget in her robes.  They didn't fit very well over her outfit or collar.

Xander looked at him.  "We wish to witness the celebration so we can tell the temple how it went," he said calmly.

Tony nodded.  "We wish no harm.  We're a peaceful sect as you know.  Gylicka says only fighting in self defense."

The guards looked at each other then called their captain.  He came out.  "No priests."

"We wish to give a report on how the celebration went," Xander told him.  "You know Gylicka's people are not the rough sort.  The temple never hears of happy news."

The captain shook his head.  "No.  Not allowed by order of the King."  They walked inside and closed the gate.

Xander looked at them.  "There was an inn about a mile back."  They nodded, heading back there to regroup and plan.  Faith pointed at a wall.  Xander looked then they smirked at each other.  "If it's still there."

"Why would they have closed the children's tunnel?"

"For security reasons," a new voice said.  They looked at him.  "Jethro."

He looked at him.  "Horest."  He shook his hand.  "Tell us?"

"Of course."  He settled in to tell them what was going on and how they could still sneak in.  It wasn't nice but it'd work.  Xander and Faith got sent to go in that way then open another way during the early part of the celebration.  He gave them a long history of what was going on.  How the new overlord was overconfident but paranoid and very stupid to harm the people the way he did.  They remembered and would fight with him most likely.

***

Xander and Faith walked in with the slaves carrying things.  Xander winced when he was hit.  "I'm moving as fast as I can," he sneered back.  The guy with the whip pulled back to hit him again.

"Move," Faith ordered.  One came nearer to her.  She ducked the hand to her hair.  "Leave it alone.  Not yours."

"You're here, you're ours.  That is the deal for sending you to deliver things."

She stared at him.  "No it wasn't.  We're traveling back, as ordered."  They tried to grab them but they escaped.  Without making too much of a fuss, as ordered.  They relaxed once they were in the old stables and under them in the hiding area.   "You good?" she hissed.

Xander nodded.  "Fine."  She looked at his back but he brushed her off.  Someone was up there looking for them. He counted, listening hard to what was going on.  A sniffing.  "A pig?" he mouthed.  She nodded it wasn't a demon.  It squealed and fought.  Xander concentrated, lowering his heartrate so he wasn't sweating too much.  She had to be reacting to the mermaid or hyena taint.  The pig got calmed down and they moved on.  Xander waited, shaking his head with a point at the floor above them.  She nodded, settling in again.  Finally the one waiting moved.  They smirked at each other.  They knew the back way out but it'd be better if they weren't being looked for near the old well.

They managed to make it out and headed to the old temple.  There was a back door in there.  They bowed at the altar then rushed past to find the doorway the former priest had told them about.  It was locked and sealed over.  Faith broke the lock while he pried off the boards.  They heard a noise and faded into the shadows.  A guard was searching in here for them.  Xander got him knocked out and took everything on him, including his uniform.  It was a weak ploy but it might help.  They got the door open, letting Jethro in.  They went to make a grander than usual entrance.  The new 'king' walked out and symbolically opened the portal that created his reign.

Jethro was in the lead as they came up the stairs to the balcony for announcements.  "Good morning."  He smirked.

"Who are you?" he demanded.

Jethro stepped out, Tony right beside him.  "Don't recognize me?  That's strange since you sent me to live on the human's world."  The 'king' backed up, trying to get away.  "Oh, no."  He stabbed him and he fell.  The crowd went nuts.  The guards showed up.  Faith, Xander, Dean, Sam, and Mac guarded while Horatio stepped forward to announce this.

"All hail the Overlord Jethro!" he shouted.  The crowd went nuts in happiness.  "Even if they did send us to be human!"  The crowd slammed against the guards.  They weren't going to win this one.

Tony fought the one that got past Sam, taking him out.  "Not today, cranky."  Abby squeaked.  He looked at her.  "What? I was his spouse before."

"Wife," Jethro taunted.

"Boss, didn't know you liked it like that," he shot back with an evil smirk of his own.

"Quit being gay around me please?  I'm having enough of an identity crisis," Xander complained.

Sam laughed.  "You'll figure it out, Xander."  He got another one and they fell.  Dean got his last two.  Faith got hers.  Xander was slightly injured.  "Xander!"

"I'm fine.  Fuss over Faith!"  He got the last one coming up the stairs then kicked him back down it.  The crowd sent up another cheer.  He walked that way, giving his sword to Jethro.  "All yours, Overlord."

The crowd quieted, staring at him.  "Their reign is stopped.  I have no idea, yet, about what is going to happen in the future."  That got a few sniffles from the crowd.  "He made us human and gave us human lives.  Some of us have responsibilities to protect them as well."

"They have more.  We only have you," a female voice called.

Tony smiled.  "We're figuring it out later.  For now, have a feast in honor of the battle."  They cheered and went to do that.  He looked at Abby and Danny.  "You two have got to figure some stuff out.  Technically it's you two who're heirs."

"Xander!" Dean snapped, catching him where he had snuck off and was trying to hide in the shadows.  "Sure you're not hurt.  Idiot."  Xander didn't hear, he was unconscious.

"He does this at home too," Faith said dryly.  They got him to a couch and Mac worked to stop the bleeding.  She got Horatio out of the way since he was useless in this sort of situation.  She went to look out over the crowd.  "We need a healer.  Xander took a sword to the side," she told a guard.  One of theirs who had been hiding.  He nodded, going to find one for them.

She ran up the back stairs, coming over to help, shoving Stella and Jethro out of her way.  "I don't know much about human's build but I should be able to staunch the flow and stitch him anyway."  She got to work on that.  "He's still reckless."

"And younger," Mac said grimly.  He looked at Faith, who shrugged.  "He does this at home?"

"The night he remembered, he was working to stop zombies that had been using him because he had a car.  He escaped from them when they went into the hardware store.  He ran into the demon that was trying to kill me.  Then we had sex and he went to stop their bomb in the basement of the school since the girls had told him he was too normal and couldn't help when the hellmouth opened.  From the rumors I heard, it got down near under a minute before it was stopped."  Mac shuddered.  "He wasn't going to run.  The zombie did after disarming it.  Then the girls got pissed because he was there."

"He was reborn on a hellmouth?" the healer demanded.

"Yeah, on Sunnydale's.  That's Buffy's Xander.  Now mine."  She smirked.  "They didn't appreciate him."

"No wonder he attracts trouble."

"I'd like to hear more about that," Mac and Jethro said.

"No you don't," Dean said dryly.  "Really, guys, you don't.  My bitch there is pretty bad at things."

"He never got trained, Dean.  Not like Tweedy would.  He jumped into the research.  Had to teach himself Latin and whatever.  He learned to stake watching Buffy and doing it.  B thinks he's too normal."

"Bet me," Dean said.  He stroked his hair.  Xander moaned and shifted.  "Pain in my ass," he complained quietly.

"Still not gay."

"Neither am I," he said.  "Still worried me sick, dude."

Xander blinked up at him.  "It's a little cut."

"It's a finger joint deep!" the healer snapped.  "Not a little anything, Guardian Xander.  That's why you lost consciousness.  That always indicates a bad injury."

Xander looked at her.  "Get off."

"No."  Jethro smacked him on the head and he quit struggling to get free.  "Thank you, Overlord.  It's clear you learned suitable correction methods."

"Head smacks are going to become the new universal standard," Tony teased.  Gibbs gave him one of his own.  "Hey!  I'm being good.  Though I do have to join the not gay club they have going, boss.  As much as I like and respect you."

Jethro smirked.  "Uh-huh."

"You'd look really hot underneath him," Abby teased.  "Then I can call you Mom and all sorts of things."  The healer stared at her, mouth slightly open.  She wiggled her fingers with a grin.  "I'm all grown up and Danny's here too."  She pointed.

She looked at him.  "Lord Jeris," she said in awe.

"Mac adopted me," he said with an evil smirk.

"How do you do that head smack?" Mac asked Jethro.  He showed him on Abby.  Mac did it to Danny.  "Behave."

"Fine."

Stella giggled on Don's shoulder.  "They're so cute."  She pointed.  "Xander escaped that way while Abby distracted you."  She groaned, going to find the young idiot.

Jethro shook his head.  "Did you have to spawn twins, Mac?" he asked dryly.

"Not my choice.  I didn't bear the egg."

"Hey!" Faith complained.  "I'm pretty decent as long as I have what I need."  She cleaned off her sword.  "See, shiny."

Sam kissed her gently.  "Calm down and do something to relax, Faith."

She gave him a shove.  "I'm not one of those mushy girl sorts," she said dryly.

"Sammy is *the* most stubborn, mushy girl type in existence," Dean said dryly.  "He can make up for your lack of it.  Or you can have me, who is all hunter."

She smirked at him.  "Xander would be mad if I stole his wife."

Dean pouted.  "Not gay, Faith."

"Uh-huh.  The more you protest..."

"Dad would freak," Sam told her.

"Probably.  Mine too if I knew him."  She looked at Mac.  "I'm not going to call you Daddy."

"I don't expect you to.  I can help if you want me to guide you."  She nodded at that.  "Is there a way to pass on being a slayer?"

"Die and call a third girl but I'll still be one.  B sure is."

He grimaced.  "That doesn't sound good."  The healer dragged Xander back by his ear.  "I'm sure he's glad he doesn't have a fin anymore," he joked.

"I would have grabbed it since he's acting like a child."  She shoved him back down and went back to stitching him.  "Hold still."  Jethro came over to hold him down with Horatio's help.

"Xander, we need you working if we're attacked again," Mac snapped.  "Stop it."

"I've fought with worse."

"I don't care.  You won't be doing it here," Jethro told him.  "We have people who can stitch you.  Like this one.  Your name?"

"Carson," she said.  She finished up and stood up, dusting off her hands.  "It shouldn't infect.  Watch for that anyway.  Try to keep him out of the fight or sweating into it."  They all nodded.  "Pull the stitches in two weeks or so, when it's sealed.  I don't know how fast humans heal."

"We can do that," Horatio assured her.  "Thank you, Healer Carson.  I'm sorry he annoyed you."

"I've seen worse and better."  She left, going back to the celebration.  The humans had smelled very interesting and were clearly a different species.  Maybe she would go to their world to see if she could learn more about them.  It'd be an adventure and a good learning trip.  Plus it looked like their time ran differently since that one had been younger. Maybe she could find one culture of theirs that had a nice accent.  She had always wanted an accent.

Jethro looked at him.  "If you need medical treatment, you will get treated, Xander.  I don't care if you wouldn't have at home.  Here you will because we might need your skills and knowledge."

"Giles tells us how to kill things."

"You still have more experience with a sword than most of us," Tony said.  "Someone has to guard Abby and Danny."

"Yes, Uncle."

"Thank you," Jethro said.  He looked at his brothers.  "Let's find some food then rest for a while in shifts.  We'll take intel reports and make plans tomorrow?"  They nodded.  They were all tired after the battle.  He watched the younger quartet walk off.  Then he looked at Tony.  "Stay with Abby, DiNozzo."

"I think she's going to hit on Mac," he said dryly.  He walked off to follow her.  She pouted.  "Gibbs' orders, Abby."

"I'll be fine.  I know how to fence."  He gave her an odd look.  "What sort of self-respecting goth hasn't picked up a blade?" she quipped with a grin.

"We'll make sure in the morning," Faith called back.

"Sure."  She looked at Tony again.  "Go jump the bossman."

"Not his type.  I'm not a redhead, cranky woman."  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "All three of his exes."

Horatio shook his head.  "Poor man.  Three marriages."  He went to his former rooms.  They were decorated in a way that he could only call Home Interior gaudy.  He started by taking down the multiple, packed together pictures of flowers and fairies to stack in the overcrowded closet.  Someone knocked so he let Sam in.  "Sam."

He looked around.  "It wasn't just our room then.  Good to know."  Horatio smiled.  "Faith and Xander want to go scouting.  Dean too.  I said I'd come ask permission."

"Not until tomorrow."

"It'd be easier for them to sneak in tonight."

"True.  They still need rest."

"It's what we do, Horatio," he said quietly.  He sighed at that, nodding a bit.  "They're probably already gone."

"I'll let the others know.  Thank you, Sam.  Go to bed.  You can take first watch shift in a few hours.  When we're ready to sleep."  He nodded, going to rest so he could take his turn.  He went to find Mac and Jethro, who were watching the kids merge into the crowd. "They're looking for payback."

"Of course they are.  It's easier for any loyal elements to raise up tonight, when things are in chaos," Mac said quietly.

"They sent Sam to ask for permission while they snuck out.  I told Sam to take first watch."

Jethro nodded.  "We can do that."  He looked at him.  "Miami?"

"Miami.  Mac's in New York.  Faith and Xander are in California.  Dean and Sam travel with their father to hunt."

"This is going to be a mess," Jethro complained.

"We'll figure it out tomorrow," Mac said.  Jethro nodded, heading to his room.  He looked at him.  "How's Miami?"

"Fairly decent.  A lot of homicides recently thanks to drug wars."

Mac grimaced.  "Our mobs have slowed down but we're not finding as many junkie deaths recently.  I don't know why.  A lot more 's/he did me wrong' deaths."  Horatio nodded, understanding that.  "How's the team?"

"I'm going to beat Speed."

"Some of us aren't comfortable with guns."

"He was Rial here.  Alexx was Taylis."

"That makes some sense with the mother hen she is," Mac said with a smile.

"She got to baby Speed after I cleaned his gun on him then paddled him."

"We'll figure it out," Mac promised.  He clapped him on the back.  "Want dawn or earlier watch?"

"Dawn.  Sam wakes you, you wake me."  That got a nod and he went to tell Sam that.  Horatio stayed up for another hour to watch the celebration from the window then he went to sleep in the gaudy, velvet covered bed.  He would have to change this around if he was staying.  It was squishy and furry.  He felt like he was sleeping on a teletubby.

***

Mac caught Xander coming in, pushing him against a wall to check his side.  "At least you didn't tear any."  He looked at the boy.  "It could've waited."

"No it couldn't have," Dean told him.  "We found a small move to attack the palace and ended it."  Xander nodded with a point.  "Let him go, Mac.  He's in pain."  Mac let him go and Xander let out the breath he was holding.  "Go to bed, Xander."  He went.  "Who's got watch?"

"I do.  Horatio's got dawn.  Sleep so you can take the throne room tomorrow."  Dean nodded.  "It still could've been handled."

"Now it is.  Faith's behind us somewhere."  He waved over his shoulder.  "Night."

Mac shook his head, checking Faith over when she came in.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  It was fine."  She smirked.  "Two demons think I'm hotter than B."  She went to her apartment, finding Sam on the couch.  She stared at him.  "Way too honorable."  She checked, the bed was gross.  "No wonder."  She went to curl up on top of Sam's chest.  He grunted when she slid onto him.  "The bed's disgusting."  He moved to give her the back, protected position while he held onto her.  "No cuddling, Sam."  He nuzzled her cheek then went back to sleep.  She huffed but couldn't get free without hurting him.  He finally wiggled so she got free and sat on the back of the couch.  He patted around then went back to his back.  She slid down to rest on top.  That was better.  He held on but not as tightly and she wasn't smooshed between a bad smelling couch and him, who smelled pretty good.  She'd have to do some deep thinking soon.

***

Dean walked into their room, finding Xander staring at the bed.  "Is it useable?"

"Yeah, it's comfy.  Just the only one."  He looked around then grabbed a pillow and blanket.  "I'll be on the chaise."

"You need the bed, Xander.  You're injured."

Xander looked at him.  "I've camped with worse, Dean.  A lounging chair is better than that."  He settled himself down, getting comfortable.  He had to pull over a table to rest his feet on.  "Still can't find my scythes."

"We'll find 'em, dude.  Relax."  He stripped down to his boxers and climbed onto the bed.  The bed was a bit squishy but he could handle that.  He'd slept on worse in some motels.  He heard Xander shift.  "It's a king.  I can share."

"I cuddle.  No we can't," Xander shot back.

Dean rolled his eyes.  "I'm not that afraid of boys, Xander.  Get over here."  Xander shook his head, flipping onto his uninjured side to nap that way instead.  It'd ease the pain in his bad side.  Dean waited until Xander was fully out then went to look at him.  He picked him up and put him onto the bed.  The pillow and blanket from the chaise got put on as a barrier between them then he laid down to sleep.  Xander was stubborn.  Too stubborn.  Even worse than his father was.  And wouldn't John laugh at this situation?  He fell asleep finally.  Xander was still shifting around on his side of the bed but he could handle that.  Sammy wiggled all night too.  When he woke up with a warmth plastered against his back, he was shocked but he could handle this without freaking out.  He patted the hand over his waist.  "Have to use the can."  Xander let him go.  Dean went to clean up in the bathroom, coming out to find Xander hiding under the huge, fluffy quilt.  He lowered it to look at him.  "You'll suffocate."  Xander was still asleep so he left him there.  He went in search of coffee.  Stella was making some.  He kissed her before taking her cup.  "Thanks, Stella."

She looked at him.  "I'm too old for you, Dean."

"More experience to make it better," he quipped with a grin.  He added what he remembered was sugar then went to check on Xander again.  He was back to trying to suffocate himself.  Dean pulled the curtains to block out the light then uncovered him fully.  He walked off shaking his head.

Faith came out an hour later.  "Why is Xander suffocating himself in that ugly quilt?"

"No idea.  I tried twice."

"I put it in the bathroom."

"I tried to uncover him.  Apparently he wanted it back."

"He's chilly," Sam said as he joined them.  "He went searching for it so I got him a regular blanket.  He's better now."

"Sunnydale is in the hot part of the state," she said.  She took her coffee from Stella.  "Thanks, Stella."

"Not the cook, you three."  Sam came over to help.  Stella finally got her own coffee.  Jethro walked in and stole Sam's coffee before walking off.  She laughed.  "I guess it's hereditary."

"Apparently," Sam said dryly, pouring himself a new cup.  "Did anyone else get the bed from hell?"

"Ours was a bit squishy, like that motel in Nebraska," Dean told him.

"Ours was like a wet sponge," Faith complained.  "Sammy's a good one though."  Sam blushed.  "Even if he does cuddle."

"Xander too.  I had to move him back when he tried to sleep on a chair.  I put a barrier up and he still moved to cuddle."  He heard movement, looking out there.  "Faith said Sammy cuddled too since their bed was crap," he told his former mate.

Xander walked in, looking at Faith.  "So do I.  I warned him."

"It was fine, Xander," Dean promised.

"Horatio's room looked like the Home Interior catalog puked," Sam said.  "Flowered pictures in gold frames. Fairies picking flowers in silver frames.  Fairies having tea in fabric frames.  Mirrors with swirly gold frames.  Gold tassels."

"We weren't happy about that sneaking off," Jethro called.

"We found a group gathering to overthrow you again," Dean called back.  "They're gone now."  He got more coffee and headed that way.  "Sammy, bring me breakfast later?"

"Sure, Dean."

Dean went to take up his protective spot by the throne.  "Sixteen of them gathering to attack today."

"Any alive to question?"

"All but six.  Faith and I got those."

He nodded.  "It has to happen sometimes.  From now on, try to wound."

"Yes, Jethro."

He looked at him.  "You good?"

"Fine.  My bed wasn't too bad.  Xander cuddling wasn't too bad even if he was trying to suffocate himself.  Still trying to figure out how to work the shower."  He yawned.  "We'll deal later."

Horatio walked in.  "There's half the city outside the doors, Jethro."

"Let them in slowly.  Have the guards there to make sure they don't cause problems."

"On it," Faith and Xander said, heading that way.  They opened the doors.

"You will be orderly," Xander noted.  "Or else Faith and I get to set punishments."  They nodded, coming in quietly and lining up to listen and be heard.

"Still got the scary gene, Xander," she quipped.

He smirked back.  "Of course I do.  Look at what I do at home."  Someone smaller poked him.  He looked down, then squatted down.  "What's wrong?"

"My parents are in the jail."

He nodded.  "We'll let you talk to Jethro, let him find out what's going on."  She smiled. "C'mon.  I'll make sure you don't get trampled."  He walked her into the throne room.  "Horatio?"  He looked over.  "Her parents are in jail.  She wanted to ask Jethro to look into it."

"I'll make sure she gets a turn," Horatio promised, taking her hand.  "You can wait with me, young lady."

"Thank you, Lord Horatio."  A pushy, scowling person walked in.  She averted her face.

Horatio looked at her.  "Problems, ma'am?"

"I demand an immediate interview with Jethro."

"He'll be talking to everyone who needs him to but he'll be doing it in order of appearance," he said firmly.  She gaped.  "Even other leaders until he gets things straightened out."  Not that he remembered her being one.  She huffed.  "I'm sorry but within days the meetings will be more settled."  He walked her off.  "You'll go after this one and before him," he said with a point.  The child nodded.  Jethro gave him a look.  "Her parents are in jail.  I'm setting her place in the first come-first served hierarchy."

"That's fine.  It'll give someone time to pull up records if we have any."  A guard went to do that.  He sipped his coffee, finishing it.  Tony brought him more.  "Thank you, DiNozzo."

"Welcome, boss.  We all know you're a bear without your coffee."   He put the pot aside then sat down.  "I can hear some too.  More minor things?"

"Get the records from the jail and look them over.  I'm sure we'll be hearing a few that were falsely imprisoned."

"Sure, I can do that."  The guard handed them over.   He settled in to read them over.  "A lot of treason at the start."

"That's usual when dictators take over," Gibbs assured him.  He pointed at the first one.  "What do you need to talk about?"

"Many of us want to hear what we are going to do for an heir and if you're staying."

"We're working that out.  As for heirs I've got two again.  Abby and Danny."  He pointed at them.  "They brought Jeris with us.  Mac's been watching over him."  That got a smile and a nod.  "For a formal announcement of who's staying, who's going, and all that, I'll be making it in a few weeks.  Once we get things running smoothly again."

"Thank you, Overlord Jethro.  Your wisdom is very deep."  He and a few others fell back to be witnesses and hear the others complain.  It was always fun to listen to others complain to Jethro and him smart back.

The next one stepped up.  "Overlord, my wife is in prison."

"Name?" Tony asked.

"Adallief."

He found the name, nodding.  "Looks like she was in there for ... breaking and entering?"

"We were part of the resistance and broke into the guards' barracks to look for evidence of what they had done with you."

Tony looked at him.  Then at Jethro.  "New trials for all of them?" he asked quietly.

Jethro nodded.  "New trials seem appropriate.  I'll be appointing a judge to go over that.  Tony will be looking over all the evidence.  We do that on Earth too."

"In the humans' realm," Faith said at a few confused looks.  "They, Mac, and Horatio are police officers."  That got some pleased noises.  A second line formed in front of Tony so he could make note of the new trials needed and what they had actually done.

Jethro looked at the woman who pushed her way forward.  "You cut in line."

"I demand an immediate audience in private."

"Do I know you?" he asked.

"Yes.  You should."

He stared at her.  "It's not coming back to me.  They did lock some of the memories up but I thought I had most of them.  Faith, show her to a private area she can wait in."  Faith nodded, grabbing her to do that.  She'd be waiting most of the day for being so rude.  Someone came in with a yell.  Sam and Dean moved to stop that one.  "You are?" Jethro asked.

"You are not our Overlord!" he sobbed.  "He was one of us!"

"The last one cast a curse that sent us to the humans' realm to relive life until they could hunt us," Xander said, stepping out of the shadows to look at him.  "I know you."  He stared then whimpered.  "They made me the key to the memories."  He grinned.

"You are exactly like you were," he said in awe.  Faith cackled as she came back.  He looked then swallowed.  "Slayer."  A few gasped and babbled at that, but quietly so as to not attract attention.

"What can I say?  They wanted us broken up as a team," she said dryly.  "Put us in dangerous areas on different sides of the country."  The demon burst out crying.  "I think you need a time out."  She punched him to knock him out.  "Boys, set him somewhere until we can figure something out.  I doubt he's the only one."  The guards nodded, doing that for them.  "Anyone else doubt?"

"Priestess Stella's hair is very fetching," one told her.

"Hit on her, not on me," Faith said dryly.  "I don't decide who she snuggles with."  The demon blushed and ducked his head.

Xander looked at her.  "Why are we the only one with a good bed?"

"The other ones needed softer things I guess," she said.  "Maybe yours had a bad back, Xan."  She smirked.  "He comfy?"

"No comment."  They gasped.  "No, in this form I don't touch other men.  We're still working on that."  He looked at the child then at Horatio, who nodded he had her.  He walked over, looking at something on the back of her neck.  "You have a neck worm."  She gasped, turning to look at him.  He looked at her.  "I haven't seen one of those in nearly forever.  Do we need to call a healer?"

"No, I'm fine.  One's treating it."  He nodded, standing up and going back to his spot by the doors.  She turned back around.  When it was her turn, she stepped up and gave a name.  Tony got to looking.  Jethro was involved with the one who was complaining that the last overlord had torn up his fields for sport.  She changed, knocking Horatio out and down.  She lunged for Jethro but Tony blew a hole in her stomach.  She screamed.  Dean pounced and she was done for.

"Huh," Tony said, sliding his gun back into the holster.  "Hey, Horatio, you need help?" he called.  Sam and Xander were working to revive him.  "Guys?"

"We'll be fine," Sam said with a grin.  They got him into the kitchen and Stella came out to help tell any threats with them.  Don as well.  A few slipped out and Faith trailed them.  Xander was watching one group.  They didn't look happy with what had just happened.  Sam spotted them to.  "Xander?"

"Emissaries," he said.

Jethro looked up.  "Take them to a private room as well."  That got a nod and Xander walked them to a private chamber to wait.  "Sorry about that one.  It will not happen again.  Nice shot, DiNozzo."

"Thanks, boss," he said with a grin.  He got the next one in line up to give the affected's name and what had happened.

***

Jethro walked into the last audience chamber.  "Sorry, the loud one was claiming she had created a marriage bond between herself and Jeris."  He flopped down.  "Sit.  Please.  I'm not that formal, as I'm sure you know."  The two in the lead changed forms.  "Cute.  Hiding at the FBI?"

"Of course," the lead one said.  "They need us sometimes."

"What better way to learn," the other said with a smile.  "Jethro Gibbs."

"Don and Charlie Epps."  He shook their hands.  "What can we do for you?"

"If I had known you were this Jethro we would've helped."

"I had no memories of it until Xander and everyone woke them up."

"Interesting."  He nodded.  "Our people want to forge an alliance.  They hated the last one and we were here to give an ultimatum to stop raiding our borders or else."  The elf moved his hair back over his ear.  "We know you won't be."

"I won't be but I have no idea how I'm doing this right now.  As for an alliance, I'm not against it."

"Good," Don agreed with a smile.  "Do you need help?"

"Can you change the beds so they're useable by people?"

"Probably not that strong," he admitted, looking at Charlie.  "My brother is our court sorcerer.  He might be able to."

Charlie shrugged. "I'd have to see what they were made of."

"We can do that."  He stood up.  "All of your court or just your province?"

"Our province to start.  Our court is wary and watching what's going on.  I told them you were back and they're taking it oddly.  The King said he knew you were strange and Horatio was even stranger."

"He should meet Xander."

"He knows what he does and hates him for it," he said dryly.

"I'm not too fond of demon hunting either."

"I'm more talking about artillery in the mall to solve something.  Bomb in the school he stopped.  That stuff."

"Xander!" he bellowed.  His nephew leaned in.  "Artillery in a mall?"

"Angelus put together the Judge.  No weapon made by man during his time would work so I raided the local National Guard base to get Buffy a rocket."  He grimaced.  "It worked but it was a hell of a mess."  He looked at the emissaries.  "Elves in the FBI?" he quipped. "That's new."

"We don't like your town."

"Hey, get with me and we'll bomb it together," he said with a grin.  "Then you guys can guard the hellmouth once it's down."

"I've suggested that.  I'm only in LA."

Xander smirked.  "You're not even tanned.  That's mean of you."  He disappeared again.

Jethro moaned, shaking his head.  "I have no idea what I'm going to do with him and Faith."

"Faith is a what?" Charlie asked.

"Slayer."

"But Buffy's still alive."

"X did CPR," Faith called as she walked past the doorway.  "She's too perfect to stand.  Makes me itch from the perfectness."

Don groaned.  "I'll let our people know."  He looked at Jethro.  "You'll figure it out and if you need us, we can stay for a few days."

"If you want but I can't guarantee you guys a place to sleep either.  Only Xander seems to have a bed that's human shaped."

Charlie smiled.  "We may be able to help there."  They went to look at the bedrooms.  "No wonder, sponge."  He tested it.  "Spelled against changing unfortunately."

"I'm going to steal Xander's bed.  Find a place, guys."  They nodded, going to do that.  He went down to Xander's apartment, knocking before walking in.  "I'm commandeering your bed."

Dean gave his side up.  "Xander's somewhere.  He cuddles.  Watch out."  He left, going to find a less comfortable spot to lay on.

Jethro laid down, wiggling some.  "Still too soft but not as bad."  He got ready for bed then came back to lay down again.  A few hours later he was woken by a slow creeping.  "Xander, I'm not Dean.  I commandeered it."

The voice huffed.  "How can I kill Xander if he's not here?"  Jethro punched at the voice, making her shriek and guards rush in.

Xander leaned in.  "Hey," he said, pulling her out by her hair then taking her up to the parapet.  He tied up to the flagpole then went back inside.  "Vamp," he told the worried looking people.  "She'll greet the sun."

"I know who sent me!" she sailed.  "I can tell you if you don't dust me!"

"I don't care," Xander called.  "All vamps are bad.  You don't even suck in the right ways."  Mac joined the guards.  "Vamp tried to get me but Jethro stole my bed."  He went to find a slightly less soft spot to sleep.  The stairs in the throne room looked comfy and wide enough.

Mac went up there to talk to her with the guards and Horatio since he was now up too.  "Who sent you after the twins?"

"Just Xander!  He messes up things!  The Mayor doesn't want him to mess up his ascension!  Trick sent me!  Really!"  She was struggling to get free.

Faith came hopping up the last few stairs, looking at her.  "Hey."  The vamp wailed.  "Who sent you?"

"The mayor had Trick send me.  Xander messes up plans so he had me stop him before he could mess up his ascension plans."

"I gotta tell Red that."  She walked off.  "Have a good sunrise."

"You two are a bit brutal," Horatio said quietly, stopping her to look at her.

"It's my calling and his duty, Horatio.  Vamps ruin things and eat people.  No one wants that.  She's a minion, cannon fodder.  They can make ten of those a night."  Horatio shuddered.  "There's more vamps than people in Sunnydale.  We get about five, six a night and they keep growing in number.  What did you want us to do?  Have tea?  Most girls like me are taken from their parents so the Watchers can raise them as brutal little soldiers to salute as they slay."

"I understand.  Are some perhaps different?"

"Angel has a soul thanks to a gypsy curse."

He blinked.  "The rest?"

"Evil bitches who need to go poof."

He let her go.  "Is there a less torturous way of doing that?  None of us are comfortable with torture."

"Stake, behead, or she goes poof in the sunlight.  She'll light, burn up within a minute, be ashes.  Stake her and she fades right then.  Beheading too."

"I see."  He looked around.  "Could we perhaps stake her instead before she draws attention?"

"Sure."  She walked back up there, pulling her stake out of her back pocket.  She staked her and she went poof.  The dust tinkled down and Faith yawned.  "I'm going to go back to bed.  Night, guys."  She walked off, putting her stake back in her pocket.  She had found a comfortable enough spot in the kitchen.

Horatio and Mac looked at each other.  "We need to find out more about this," Mac said.

"Indeed," Horatio agreed.  They went to see if the library had anything on vampires, slayers, or Sunnydale.  That was not hunting, that was assassination.  They all hoped the twins weren't being warped by that lifestyle.  Horatio looked in the throne room, nudging Mac to look before they made it to the library. Mac smiled at the image of Xander curled up on a wide stair in front of the throne.  Mac went to get him a pillow and blanket, dropping the pillow close to his head.  Xander snuffled, pulling it closer.  He put the blanket over him and walked out as silently as he could.  Faith waved from her spot in the kitchen on the table.  Sam had a few of the chairs lined up to stretch across.  Dean was in the library on one of the chaise loungers.  Mac and Horatio moved to the research section to find vampires.  They found Charlie Epps in there.  "Vampires?" Horatio asked quietly.  Charlie looked then pointed.  "Thank you."  They took the book and went back to Mac's room to read.

They had to save their niece and nephew.  Before they crossed the line to people.

***

Jethro walked in to start his next day of people complaining and telling him what had happened.  He stopped and sipped his coffee when he saw Tony petting a familiar dark head.  "He okay?" he asked quietly.

"Fine.  Won't wake up."  He went back to petting Xander until he got a grunt of displeasure.  Some of the people were already filing in, watching it too.  "He's sleeping, let him."  Faith wobbled out, looking at him.  She kicked the next step down from Xander, making him gasp and sit up.  "Shh, Xander.  You're safe," Tony said quietly, going back to petting him.  "Faith woke you up.  Want to go back to sleep?"

"No, I'm fine," he mumbled, going to his knees, rubbing his eyes.  "Thanks for waking me up.  Tony?"  Tony quit petting him.  He looked at him.  "I'm not the family pet."

"No, but you looked so cute."  He grinned.  "I couldn't resist.  Messy hair and all."  He smoothed it down.  "Go shower, Xander."  He nodded, getting up and stumbling that way with Faith following.  He smiled at Jethro.  "You make some pretty relatives, boss."

"I do.  Abby's very beautiful."  He stepped over the blanket, sitting down in his chair.  "Okay.  What today?"

"You wanted a map of the destroyed area around the city.  Especially farming land," one said, presenting Tony with the map since he was sitting on the stairs.

"Is it going to be a problem for harvest?"

"No, Lord Jethro.  We'll be good enough for that as long as the winter isn't early."

"Can planting some now make up for it?  Even with some immature plants?" Tony asked.

"No, First Spouse."

"What about a greenhouse?" Sam asked as he came out of the kitchen.  He refilled their coffee cups then sat down beside Tony.  "That's a heck of a lot of land."

Tony nodded.  "It is."

"Greenhouses are good ideas," Jethro said.  "That way you can grow the most popular and most needed things all year round.  It might even bring down the price."  He took another drink and put his cup down on the arm of his throne.  "How hard is it to build?"

"A glass building with boxes to grow and a way to water it," Sam said.  "At the easiest levels.  At the higher levels they have water-grown plants and things."

"We do have that huge moat that doesn't do much more than look pretty," Tony offered.

"If they could make it grow there, I'm not against it," Jethro agreed.  "How much can you grow inside one?"

"About the same as you'd grow in a plot of land by foot," Sam said, looking up at him.  "I'm not sure if they wouldn't end up shorter.  They might be."

"That only matters if it's grain," Tony said.  "Things like lettuce and vegetables it shouldn't matter."  The farmers looked at each other.  "How hard is it to set up?"

"Not very.  If I could get online I could look that up.  Do we have a dataport or know if it's possible?"

"The local library is wired," one said.

Sam beamed.  "I'll go look it up this afternoon."  They all smiled at that.  "And write my father.  He's going to be worried."  Dean walked out with a plate of toast, letting him take some.  "Thanks, Dean.  I'm going to log online later.  Any other topics I need to look up?"

"No, I think we're good.  Say hi to Dad for me."  He handed them to Jethro, who took a few pieces.  "Where's the other guards?"

"Faith walked Xander off when she woke him up," Jethro said. "Mac and Horatio apparently aren't up yet."

"Their snoring in the library woke me," Dean admitted.  He sat down beside Sam, looking at the notes he was making.  "Greenhouses?"

"Destroyed farmland."  He looked at his big brother.  "There's a lot of destroyed farmland."  He showed him the map.  "Destroyed farms and homes."

"He was clearly bad for the people."  Dean nibbled on a piece of toast while looking.  "Why this area so much?  There's a deeper bit there."

"He was trying to mine for Aurbrelis stones," one said.

Jethro frowned.  "The pink ones?"  They nodded.  "Why?"

"For use in magic," Faith said as she came back.  "Red uses them now and then."  She stole a piece of toast, looking at the map.  "That really does suck.  Are we going to do greenhouses, extra farm land outside the city?  Is it too late to plant more?"

"I can let the people farm on some of the land we hold," Jethro agreed.  "Is it too late to plant more?"

"Relatively, Lord Jethro," one said.  "About a month later than usual."

"Can we plant some anyway?" Tony asked.  "It'll be shorter but if you plant things that grow and mature first, it might give a higher harvest right before the snows."

"We can check.  It's not that hard to try."  That got some nods.  "When do you think we can have those greenhouse plans?"

Sam smiled.  "Come back in a week and I should have them."  That got a nod and they left.  He handed the map back to Jethro.  "The guy was a bastard."

"He was," Tony agreed.  He took another piece of toast to nibble.  "Xander showering?"

"Probably asleep in it," she said.  She stole Dean's current piece.  "Thanks, Dean."

He smirked.  "Keep it up, Faith."  A few people gasped.  "Yes, we're having that discussion again," he said dryly.  "Since neither of us are gay.  She's not the one we're all going to have and I'm still related to Sammy in this life."  One of the women moaned.  "Just like last time we're all arguing about who's doing who."

"Especially since we're not breeders anymore," Sam said with a grin.

"Red could probably fix that," Faith quipped.  That got a louder gasp.  "You guys have heard of Rosenburg too I'm sure.  She's Xander's best friend.  She might do it anyway.  As long as I don't have to give birth, we'll hold hands all they want.  Pat tummies.  Help them through labor pains."

Sam looked at her.  "I was ready to go through it last time.  This time I'm going to think first."

Mac walked in.  "That's fine, Sam.  You can think all you want.  I'm not looking forward to being a grandfather."

"Me either," Jethro said.  He looked at Abby and Danny before they came in.  "You two don't want kids yet, right?"

"Some day," Abby said.

"Maybe sometime," Danny added.

"Good."  He looked at the remaining people.  "What sort of problems do we have?"  He took another drink of his coffee.

"Lord Jethro, would you allow us to hold the yearly blessing of the unions?"

"I don't like that ceremony," he reminded her.  "But I know it's a ritual.  Only let those who want to participate.  Do not do it inside the city.  Do not foul a field with the blood spilled."

She bowed, smiling at him.  "Thank you."

"No forcing them," Jethro reminded her.  She nodded, rushing out.  "Next?"

"Why don't you like that one?" Tony asked.

"It's a bloodletting ritual," Jethro told him.  "They bind the unions by making deep cuts on their arms and praying until the two kids panic and join their blood.  I'd rather that be voluntary."

Faith shuddered.  "Eww."  Xander wobbled in and sat down next to Sam, leaning over to rest against his shoulder before falling asleep again.  She tested his forehead.  "Fever."

Sam shifted to hold Xander while Dean looked at the cut.  "Not infected," Dean reported.  "When was the last time he ate?"

"Don't know," Faith admitted.  "He had coffee earlier."

Tony groaned, standing up and hauling Xander up.  He got some complaining noises but walked him into the kitchen to feed him.  Stress made him do the same thing now and then.

Faith shook her head.  "I don't understand him sometimes."  She heard Xander complain.  "Eat.  Something," she shouted.  "Do not make me kick your ass, Xander!"

The complaining stopped.  Jethro reached down to pat her on the head.  She smirked back.  Mac walked in there to help.  Xander was his son, he should do that.

Tony smiled.  "He's fine.  It's stress, Mac."

Mac sat down across from Xander.  "I remember sitting near here while shoveling food into your mouth.  You were always a picky eater."

"I'm not."

"You were."  He got him something, holding it up.  "Food?"  Xander groaned, taking it to nibble.  "Thank you."

"I'm fine."

"Does anyone believe it when you say that?"

"Does anyone listen when you say that?" Tony asked at the shrug Mac got.

"Sometimes."

"We listen," Mac told him.

Xander looked at him.  "You hardly know me.  I'm not the same Xander."

"No, you're not," Tony agreed.  "The same as I'm not the same Tony.  We've got to get it into better focus so we can work together."  He patted him on the back.  "We're a clan, Xander.  We need to get used to this wacky, strange clan we have."

Xander nodded.  "I am.  I just wasn't hungry."

"It's a battle and stress reaction," Mac told him.  "A lot of soldiers in the field get it, but you can't let it happen.  It's wearing you down and keeping you from being at your peak.  Like not taking care of injuries."

Xander looked at him.  "I've seen worse than this."

"Yes, but we're surrounded by people we don't know.  Anyone could be a threat to all of our safety.  We're in a strike team situation like we're undercover."

Xander shrugged a bit.  "I've only been undercover on the swim team to find out what was making them into fish monsters."

"Same thing," Tony said, smiling at him.  "I'm excellent at them."  Xander relaxed, going back to eating.  "Even at home you should still have injuries taken care of."

"I do."

"How many times have you been to the ER in the last year?" Tony asked.

"We don't go.  They're really sucky."

"Oh, damn," Mac sighed.  "Who does the stitching?"

"I do.  Willow does if I want to get her to do them.  I don't usually need them.  Sometimes get pieces of stake taken out when one breaks.  Some dirt or scrapes."

"Want to move to the east coast?" Tony asked.  "We have good hospitals.  People who'll care about you needing stitches.  All sorts of people like that."

"We'll see."  He finished up.  "There, better?"

"No," Mac said.  "Let me see your side."  Xander sighed, sitting on the table instead of the chair so he could check his stitches.  "No waterproof bandages?"

"No.  Not that I could find.  They're fine.  Not infected."

"Then why are you running a fever?"

"It's time for the usual spring cold.  It's nothing."

"Don't make me call the healer," Faith said as she walked in to start some new coffee.

"Add more if that's for Gibbs.  He likes his with an extra scoop."  He looked at Xander.  "Should I?"

"No.  It's just a cold."

"Xander, we need you to be healthy.  None of us but Faith know about demons if one attacks."  He heard a yelp.  "We good or do we need help, boss?" he yelled.

"We're fine.  I got attacked by a cold nose."

Tony went to look, smiling at the dog.  "You look good with a dog, boss."  Abby came in and squealed, making the dog look around frantically.  She cooed, settling in at his feet to pet the dog.  Tony took a picture then went back to checking on Xander.

Faith walked out with the pot to refill hers, Dean's, and Jethro's cups.  She looked at the dog.  "Do not even think about licking me, dog."  Abby pouted.  "I don't like dogs."  She put the pot down and walked off.  "I'm going to see if there's any cold medicine since Xander has a cold."

"I'm fine!" Xander called.

"Shut up," Abby called.  "No more yelling.  It's impolite."

"We expect that from him," one of the locals told her.  "Xander and Faith were always loud, bouncy, and mean when necessary."

Abby shook her head.  "Bouncy is fine.  I'm bouncy."

"You are," Jethro agreed.  He smiled at her.  "Why don't you and the dog move off to the side, Abs?"

"Fine."  She moved over some and the dog attacked Dean to lick, making him move to defend himself from the dripping tongue.   "Aww, did he taste good?" she cooed, letting the dog play with her all it wanted to.

Dean went to wash his face off then came back.  Faith was walking Healer Carson back into the throne room and back to the kitchen.  Then off to find Xander since he had escaped Mac and Tony by handcuffing them.  "Abby, have the pet there track Xander for the healer?"

"Can you do that?"  The dog barked, his tail wagging.  She let it sniff the blanket.  "Find him."  The dog took off running.  Faith chased it.  They found where Xander was hiding.  "Good dog," Faith praised, giving it a pet.  "Him," she told the healer.

Healer Carson walked over with a sigh.  "Some day I'll have patients I have to handcuff to a bed.  I know I will.  You're good training for even more stubborn patients."

"I'm still fine."

"I hate that word."

"Healers hear that a lot I'm sure," Faith said.  "They do from me."

Carson sighed, shaking her head.  "We'll figure it out when you're mated again I'm sure."

"Still not gay," Xander mumbled.  She swatted him. "I'm not.  We're not ready to have that argument yet."

Carson sighed.  "You'll figure it out I'm sure."  She checked the stitches then the rest of him.  "It does look like a virus."

"I told them it was a cold.  I get one each and every march."

"Sounds more like an allergy," Carson said.

"The medicine doesn't help."

"Ah."  She patted him on the head.  "Go rest."

"I can't.  They might be attacked.  That's my job."

"Take some medicine, Xander.  Get more sleep."  She looked at Faith, pulling her down to look her over too.  "Might as well since I'm here."  She huffed but oh well.  Yes, humans were fascinating creatures.  She'd have to go learn from them and a few new languages too.  She went to check the others.  Mac gave her an odd look.  "I'm checking all of you to make sure his cold isn't spreading."  They groaned but let her.  Jethro wouldn't but Tony told her he'd call if Jethro got sick.  She went back to her office to make notes.  Humans were fascinating.  So many accents and stubborn people.

Horatio let the people back in once she had left.  Jethro went back to hearing people tell him how bad things had been.  Horatio went to check on the twins, finding them looking in some closets.  "What are we doing?"

"Looking for our old stuff," Faith said.  "Xander wants his scythes.  We're not sure if the Watchers Council has one or both of them."  Horatio nodded, digging in to help.

"Hey, my bed," Xander said, hugging the mattress.

"I hated that mattress," Dean called up the hall.  "Give it to Faith and Sammy."

"Sure," she said.  "We'll put it on top of the other one."  Xander helped her pull them out.  Horatio got them moved back to the rooms in use.  Even for the FBI elves.  They found their stuff in the basement.  Xander found one of his scythes.  He settled in to hug it.  Faith took a picture with Tony's camera then they put their clothes back in their rooms.  Faith came out wearing an outfit she had loved last life.  It fit, she hadn't gained any weight or height in her new life.  She strolled in and Sam's mouth fell open.  "It fits.  We put your stuff in your room, Jethro.  Xander's still hugging his scythe."

"Thank you, Faith.  Clothes?"

"Clothes, weapons, our old beds, your egg pillow."  Abby beamed at that.  "Your bed's on top of the old one.  If you want to change it around it's all on you, bossman."

"Thank you, Faith.  That was very helpful."

Sam swallowed his spit.  "That looks fantastic, Faith."

"Thank you, Sam."  She smiled at Dean when he came in.  Dean stopped, stared, and drooled too.  "Found our stuff.  Xander's got one of his scythes."

"Good," he agreed.  "He's happier with it I'm sure."  He sat down next to his brother. "Lookin' good."

"Thank you."  She looked at the people, getting a few long looks back.  "Yes, I found my clothes.  I needed to change.  We left the stuff in DC."

"Ducky took it to his place," Jethro assured her.

"Even the weapons?"

"Probably."  He looked at them.  "What's the problem you three wanted to talk about?"

The female looked at him.  "We wish to have some stability in the land, Overlord."

"As would I.  We're still working on that once we get things working again."

"We think you need to marry another breeder since the one you had married is no longer one."

Faith looked at her.  "We're not compatible in this form."  She slumped.  "We'll make sure it happens sometime but right now we're working on other things. Jethro is a federal agent at home.  Tony's on his team and Abby is his forensic tech.  Mac and Horatio both run labs in major cities."

The woman sighed.  "It's not good to have such ill-timed future problems for the heirs."

"If we could change back, I'd do it," Faith told her.  "Right now, let us handle things then make that decision."

Jethro nodded.  "She's right.  I have two heirs.  I've been divorced three times in this current life.  Right now I'm not looking for another spouse to give me kids.  I have two.  That's enough.  We'll deal with succession and all that later on.  Once the farm lands are all set.  Once the houses are all safe.  Once the people are safe."

"I yield to your wisdom, Overlord, but it does worry some of us."

"I understand that," he said.  "That's a later thought, like how we're going to handle our lives and here."

She nodded, bowing to him.  "Thank you for the time to explain that to me.  Are we thinking within a month for that announcement?"

"Hopefully.  Do we know how time runs back at home?" Tony asked.  "Longer, shorter?"

"No idea," she admitted.  "You might ask a priest or a traveler."

"We'll do that," Abby said.  "Thank you for worrying about that.  It means you're committed to a brighter future, like we are."

"I do try, Abigail."  They left together.  It wasn't an answer they wanted but it was an answer.  They'd have to present some extra ideas.  Including that witch Guardian Faith had mentioned.  Perhaps she had some ideas.  It was easy enough to get a message to her email account.

Part 2

Faith and Sam looked at each other later that night, then at the bed.  "I can go sleep in a guest room," Faith said, backing away.  "Most of those beds are too short for you."

Sam pulled her closer.  "Even if we're together, I'm not going to molest you unless you ask."  He grinned.  "I'm not a lech, Faith, but if you want, that's up to you.  If you want, I've learned a lot.  I can make you happy in ways that most girls only beg for."  He kissed her gently.  "But I'm not going to push.  I'm not that sort of man."

She patted him on the cheek.  "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"I know you like Dean.  Dean's exciting and loud and a hunter where I don't like hunting all that much.  I have plans that mean I'm going to college.  Dean doesn't know and I'd appreciate you not telling him.  If you need me to, I'll be your backup and do the research for you."  He kissed her again then backed up.  "But I'm not pushing.  It's your decision totally."  He smiled.  "Want me to find pajama pants like in the early days?"

"Nah, it's good."  She smiled when he turned around to strip down to his boxers.  She stripped down to her underwear, making him blush.  "Had many women, Sam?"

"Six or seven.  Dean pushed some at me and I've dated a few times, when we stayed in the same place for long enough.  I hate the traveling constantly lifestyle of hunting."

"Slayers can travel or stick in one really bad town."

He shrugged.  "Then we'd figure that out."

"I still gotta hunt, Sam."

"I know.  I won't stop you from hunting."

"I'd need a watcher at my back."

He pulled her down next to him, giving her a hug.  "I know, it's strange."

"It is.  Where are you going?"

"Stanford."

She pulled back to look at him.  "Stanford?"

"Yeah.  Full ride," he said with a grin.

"Wow.  Way smarter than Red."

"Don't know, never met her."

"I'm sure you will.  She's Xan's best friend."

"We should meet your friends and his.  That way we can make sure we can stand them and they won't try to break us apart if we stay together."

She nodded.  "Probably.  You sure?  I can sleep on the couch."

"Shut up, Faith.  If you want to jump me, jump me.  If not, just sleep.  It's all up to you."  He smirked.  "Pick a choice for the night and make whatever one you want tomorrow."  He yawned.  Above them an alarm went off.  "Crap."

"You can say that again," she said.  She grabbed clothes and her sword on the way out of the room.  Sam was right behind her.  They ran into Dean and Xander rushing for the throne room first.  When it wasn't there they ran for the roof entrance.  They came out and found Mac up there timing them.  "Tell me this wasn't a drill!" she demanded.

"No."  He pointed.  "Any idea what that is?"

They looked and Xander grimaced.  "Locusts maybe?"

"Cicadas?" Sam suggested.

"Demon," Faith said, knowing it.  "They're around a central area."

Dean stared.  "Get me a bow?"  Mac went to get one with the guards.  The guy came nearer to the gate.  Dean got handed a compound long bow.  He knocked an arrow back and took aim on the central shaft.  He shot.  It screamed and the bugs dissipated.  Dean fired another one when the bugs cleared up enough to see the body.  It screamed and fell off the horse it was riding.  "Now get it and bring it here."  The guards rode out to get the demon and bring it in.  They went to the throne room to meet it.

Jethro stomped in.  "Who is that?"

"He brought a bunch of bugs to destroy the farms," one guard said.  "We decided he was a threat.  Dean shot him, Overlord."

"Nice shot," Jethro praised.  The demon was put in front of him.  "What do you think you were doing?  Bringing something harmful here?  Did you think I got weaker when I lost the head fin?"

"No.  I came to make an alignment."

"Uh-huh."  He stared at him, arms crossed over his chest.  "I cannot let a threat to these people go.  Even if it was meant that way."

"Doubt it was meant that way," Tony said as he, Abby, and Don walked in.

Stella stomped in, stopping to look at him.  "There's days I want to be telepathic."

"There's a spell for that," Xander said from his spot.  "I don't know it.  Willow does."

"That's heathen magic," the demon sneered.  "I'm not surprised you'd fall back on it."  Xander hit him, knocking him down, making him cry.  "Mercy, Jethro."

Jethro looked at the others.  Then at him.  "Check his story, Faith."  She went to figure out what he was and where it had come from.  "Xander, calm down."

"I am."

Jethro looked at him.  "It wasn't meant as more than a slight to your current job."

"It's necessary."  He snapped his fingers, going to find one.  "Can we kidnap and keep a knowledgeable vampire chained up?"

"No," Jethro called.

"I won't stake him afterward."

"No.  I don't want that here."  Jethro looked at Tony.  "Find some way to check on his town?"

"I have been.  It's nearly October at home."  Jethro nodded at that.  "It's running faster than here.  Ducky did say he could have us inserted back in time so we didn't miss too much."

"Good."  Faith came back with a book.  "What is he?"

"Wanna be."  She handed it over.  "He wants power."  She looked at the demon.  "Pitiful."

Jethro read it then handed it to Tony.  "Why come here?"

"If you join me, we can take over every plane!" he shouted.  "Be all powerful."

"Why do I need more than this one?" Jethro countered.  "I don't like the paperwork I have at home or here.  Why would I need more?"

"Beyond that, there's a lot of Powers in the way," Xander said as he walked back in.  "There's tons of more powerful demons who're more than happy to leave us alone and let us have here so we don't go destroy them.  Because Faith can.  I'd help.  The others can cheer us on."

"You pathetic human," he sneered.

Xander squatted down to get on his level.  "Really?  You're so sure of that?"

"Yes."

"Hmm.  Seen me in Sunnydale?"

"I have.  You're not worth the trouble to kill."

"Yet, I'm the one who created the second slayer," he said smugly.  The demon gasped, trying to back away.  Xander didn't move.  "I'm the one who backs up all the slayers.  Buffy, Kenda, and Faith.  It's my battle plans during apocalypses.  It was me that helps them.  You don't think I'd be a problem to defeat?  Knowing who I was before and am again?"

"You don't have your scythes," he said.  Xander pulled one and put it on the floor in front of him.  "Only one?"

"I only need one to handle you.  The other I'm told the Watchers have."  The demon turned pale.  "Hmm.  Yes, I think it's *the* slayer's scythe," he said smugly.  "I'll find out when I get it back."  He stood up.  "You think I'm so insignificant, come get me."  The demon lunged and Xander kicked his scythe up, taking him out.  "Pity," he sneered at the corpse, wiping off his blade before putting it back into his beltline.  He bowed to Jethro.  "I'll have him disposed of."  He walked off, going to find a guard.  "Guys, he told me I was worthless."  A few laughed.  "He's having a bad head day.  It's across the room."

"We'll dispose of him," one said.  Yup, things were just like they used to be.  They took the demon and his head out to walls to have it buried.  "At least it wasn't Faith," that one said quietly.  "We'd have bits and pieces."

"Yeah," another agreed.  "Literally.  She's clearly the scary slayer."

"I heard that," Faith yelled.  "Buffy's scarier.  She dyes her hair!"

"Sorry," he called back, shaking his head.  "Never mind."  The other guards laughed. "Some year she'll be spawning.  Then we'll really have to watch out."  They laughed harder, heading back to the castle.  A few winked at their wives/girlfriends/friendly hookers.  They were guards.  It was for their off hours.

Faith looked at Jethro.  "We good again?"

"We're fine, Faith.  Thank you and your twin for your help as well as the boys."  She nodded and headed off.  Xander waved as he strolled off too.  Jethro shook his head. "The kids are going to drive us insane," he muttered.

Xander walked into his room, closing the door.  "Done."  Dean looked over.  "Thanks for covering the gates."

"Welcome."  He pointed at the second mattress.  "It's a bit crowded with that."

"Yeah, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable when I cuddle."  He stripped down to his boxers then climbed onto his bed.  "Night, Dean."

"Night."  He watched Xander settle in, blowing out the lamp.  They'd have to figure out this not gay/mated thing soon enough.  Even if he did have to beat Sammy to get Faith for himself.  He laid back, thinking about how to work this out.  He wasn't mushy.  He knew he wasn't ever going to be mushy.  Xander needed some bits of mush.  He needed someone a bit supportive now and then.  Xander also got ordered to take some time off hunting, which Sam would like.  Plus maybe Sam was more gay.  Their dad would bitch but oh well.  It'd work better than him and Xander.  He heard a nightmare and sighed, rolling closer to the other mattress.  He poked Xander.  His hand got batted at but Xander stayed asleep.  Dean watched.  The nightmare was getting worse so he poked him again.  Xander took a swing.  Dean ducked then fell off the bed to hold Xander down.  He struggled but it wasn't going to help this time.  Dean was slightly taller and heavier.  Plus he could use the blankets to keep Xander tied down.  Xander whimpered so he leaned down close to his ear.  "It's a nightmare, I have you," Dean said.  "Calm down."

Xander gasped and tried to sit up.  "Let go!" he growled.

"I have you, Xander. You were having a nightmare."  He slowly let him go.  "You back?"

"I'm fine."  He rubbed his face.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome."  He climbed back onto his own bed and tucked himself back in.  He waited and Xander fell back into a deeper sleep.  He sighed, letting himself drift off.  He was woken by another nightmare but this time when Xander ended up on the foot of his bed, staring and sniffing at him.  He woke up because his foot was being sniffed and hesitantly licked.  "What are you doing?"  Xander tipped his head to the side and sniffed again.  He frowned.  "Xander?"  Xander yipped quietly then sniffed again.  Dean sat up, letting the boy sniff him better.  "Xander?"  Xander shifted closer, sniffing his throat then face.  "Are you a dog?  Or possessed by a dog?"  Xander stared at him again.  "Your eyes are glowing green- yellow.  Demons make them black.  What the fuck, bitch?"  He looked around.  "Guards?"  One leaned in.  "Can you maybe get Sam and Faith?"  Xander growled at them.

"Sure," he agreed, hurrying to do that.

Xander snorted at the door then went back to staring at Dean again.  His head tipped in one direction then the other.  "Am I that cute?  I mean, I know I'm cute but usually you think I'm not *that* cute."  Xander shifted closer, sitting on his knees.  He stared into his eyes.  "Good boy," he said, reaching up slowly to pet him.  Xander sniffed then licked his palm, earning a smile.  "Sure, I taste good.  Don't lick further up but okay."  Faith opened the door, leaning her head in.  Xander glared, sniffing at her.  "He's sniffing, licking, eyes glowing?"

"Hyena."

"Huh?" Dean asked.

Sam pushed open the door and walked in, sitting on the foot of the bed.  Xander stared at him then sniffed at him.  He yipped a happy sound.  "Hi, Xander."  He pulled him closer, holding his head still.  "What let her out?"  He stared in the boys eyes.  "Can I have the boy?"  She lunged and lapped him then pounced Dean to sniff his throat.  She growled when Faith came closer.  "I think she's worried about poaching."

"But I'm... " Dean started.  Xander lifted his head to stare at him.  "Okay.  Maybe I am."

"Maybe you are," Faith agreed.  She came in and sat beside Sam.  Xander growled so she reached up to smack him on the head.  "I'm not poaching.  Quit."  Xander snuggled in, covering his mate with a quiet cackle of noise.  "Maybe she sees me as a threat?"

"I'd say so," Sam agreed.  "It could be where you're a slayer and she's a primal spirit.  No idea."  Mac walked in.  "His hyena possession decided to come out to try to claim Dean."

"That's fine."  He leaned down, looking at Xander.  "He's yours if you want him, Xander.  Relax.  Quit growling at Faith."  Mac got sniffed and Xander covered Dean more, protecting him from Mac.  "That's fine."  He patted the boy on the head.  "It's all right.  He's safe and yours if you can work it out."  He backed up.

"He's cute and all," Faith told him.  "But clearly you want him more.  I'd hate being possessed.  He'd probably hate me if I was possessed."  She got closer to Sam and Xander relaxed.  "We'll work that stuff out when you're sane again."

Sam nodded, pulling Faith into his lap.  "We can do that."  Xander finished relaxing, licking Dean's neck over a sensitive spot.  Dean moaned, tipping his head back some.  "Dean, going a bit closer to gay?"

"Shut up, Sammy.  Before I kick your ass and then tell Dad you're trying to make him a grandfather."

"No way I'm *ever* going to be stretched that far," Faith said dryly.  "I don't even play with toys that large.  Much less use body parts that large or want to be stretched that way by some sleezy guy."  Even Dean blushed at that.  Xander gave her an interested look.  "I don't wanna know how kinky you are, X."  She wiggled off Sam's lap and stood up.  "C'mon, Sam.  He'll calm down, Dean.  Usually it's a dominance thing that brings her out.  Giles has a spell that locks her down again."

"How did he get possessed?" Dean asked.

"Thing at the zoo with a zookeeper."  She shrugged.  "Way before my time.  Back in the tenth grade stuff."  She pulled Sam with her.  "He won't bite.  He tried to top Buffy by trapping her but I'm not sure if that was dominance or rape."  She and Sam walked out.  He closed the door behind them.  "Xan is a wild man."

"I can tell."  They walked off.  "Two mattresses?"

"Their whole 'not gay' thing expanded.  X was probably on the floor.  He's honorable that way."

"Dean's very honorable.  We've been taught that from day one.  Our father's a Marine."

"I saw that.  Impressive.  Still kinda yawn worthy.  Now and then being a bad girl is all that I need."

Sam pulled her close, pinning her against a wall, staring down at her with an evil little smirk.  "Being bad is relative, Faith.  You can be as naughty as you want.  You can't become evil.  I can't become evil.  Can we live like that?"

"I live on want, take, have, Sammy."

He leaned down.  "Only Dean gets away with that, Faith."  She shivered.  "Would you still steal if you could have it?"

"There's that thrill there."

"That's for hunting," he said, kissing her.  She moaned, pulling him closer.  "We'll figure it out."

"If you say so."

"If you want to go be nuzzled, go ahead," he said, letting her go.  "I'm going to bed."  She swatted him and huffed off.  He followed, smirking at her ass.  He went back to bed and pulled her closer.  She kissed him.  He took it from there.

***

Mac walked into the throne room the next morning.  "Sam, don't squeal."

"Wasn't just me," he said with a cheerful grin.  Faith swatted him.  "It wasn't."

"You were louder," she said bluntly.

He shrugged.  "I had fun."  She smirked.  "Did you?"

"I still need a shower," she complained.  "You got my hair sweaty."

He leaned closer.  "I can scrub backs," he whispered in her ear, getting another swat.  "With no intention of doing anything that would require heirs."

"Better not.  I need a pill pack."

"I wasn't in you," he said smugly.  Mac choked on his coffee.   "Sorry, Father."

She elbowed him.  "Behave."

"I had a decent night.  Xander didn't bite me.  Dean's still in bed."

Abby and Tony walked in.  She stared at them.  "Sam, you were *way* loud.  Do we need a shotgun?"

"No, we have a few of those already," he said with a bright, happy grin.  "We don't need more."

"Not that sort," Tony said dryly.  "The sort her daddy should be holding."

"I leave that up to her.  She can even go test drive Dean if she wants and Xander lets her."  Tony looked confused.

"His hyena possession came out last night to protect Dean from everyone."

Jethro stomped in.  "Why is Dean yelling?"

"He's probably trapped under Xander," Sam said with a grin.  "Xander's hyena is out."

"Can we fix that?" Jethro sighed.

"No," Faith said.  "Giles tried."

"Crap."  He went with Mac to save Dean.  Dean was pinned to the bed and Xander was sniffing his stomach.  "Need him to be knocked out?"  Xander growled and lunged but Dean caught him and flipped him over, holding him down.

Mac came in and used a pressure point to knock Xander out.  "There.  Go shower.  Hopefully he'll be fine when he wakes up.  If not, maybe Stella can fix it."  He went to find Stella and Don.  They were in the castle's temple.  "Guys, Xander's hyena taint came out to pin Dean."

Don rushed off.  He knew how to cure that.  He knelt beside the bed, saying the short spell.  Xander glowed all over then it faded.  He beamed at Jethro.  "Fixed.  I hope."  He stood up and poked Xander until he woke up.  "You went hyena."

"Shit," he muttered, pulling the covers over his head.

Dean lifted up a corner to look underneath.  "Dude, seriously oral but I won't say a word about you sniffing, licking, or pinning me down to protect me from Sammy or Faith."  He let it go at the groan.  He went to shower, coming out to get his own coffee and breakfast.  "Sammy, was there a reason why even *I* heard you over the purring?"

"Not that I'm going to share.  As Dad says, real men don't have to share.  A gentleman never gives details."

Dean looked at him.  "Uh-huh."  He rolled his eyes, walking out to eat in the throne room.  "No people today?"

"Not yet."

"That means we need to work on the heir/who's staying issue," Tony said, taking his usual seat.  He threw one leg over the arm of the chair and grinned.

"Way to go, Ares," Faith teased as she walked in.  "I do not like skirts.  Why do I have so many skirts?"

"Easy access," Tony said dryly.  She gave him a horrified look.  "Or don't you remember being caught *everywhere* with Sam, Faith?"

She walked off blushing to change.  Sam leered but she ducked her head and hurried faster.  She came out in leather pants.  She loved leather pants, and hey, hard to get into.  Sam's groan was good to hear.  She looked at herself then at him.  "What?"

"That was Sammy's version of 'you look tasty' and 'I'm cutting wisdom teeth so I want to nibble'," Dean said.  "Please excuse the drool because he used to when he cut teeth."  Sam slapped him.  "Hey! Eating here."

"Your foot," Sam shot back.  "You look very good, Faith.  The groan was for the way the leather clings to your legs."

"You like legs?" she taunted with an evil smirk.

"I appreciate every part of the woman.  From her brain down to her toes."  She blushed.

"Kids," Horatio complained.  "Go tease somewhere else?  And where is Xander?"

"Hiding," Dean said.  "He hyena'd out last night."  He yawned.  "He sniffed me all night."

Horatio shook his head.  "You four need to settle that debate."

"We need to settle the one about the heirs and how we're ruling while at work," Jethro told him.

"Lord Jethro," a guard yelled.  "Visitors!"

"Bad ones?" Tony yelled back.

"Visitors for Guardians Faith and Xander," the guard said, showing them in.  "And for their mates."

Jethro swatted Tony.  "Sit up correctly."

"Sorry."  He shifted.  "Sorry, I was comfortable."  He grinned.  "Let's see.  If rumors are right....  Miss Summers, Miss Rosenburg.  Mr. Winchester."

Dean looked up from scraping his plate.  "Hey, Dad."  He nudged Sam.

"Hey, Dad," he said with a grin.  "Welcome here."  He nudged Faith, who was covering her face.  "It's all right.  Can you find Xander?  He's hiding."

"Of course," the guard said.  "He's in the armory testing the other blades."  He went to find the young one.  "Visitors, Lord Xander."  Xander looked over at him.  "Two females and your mate's father."

"Aw, fuck," he muttered.  He walked back that way, keeping the weapon with him.  "Uncle Jethro, can I use this for any assaults today?"

"I don't care.  Whatever you feel comfortable using, Xander."  He pointed.

"I saw."  He looked at them.  "Girls."  They gaped.  He looked at himself then at them.  "Stuff I left here when the curse hit."

"What is going on?" Buffy demanded.  "All you left was a confused sounding letter, Xander!  You even freaked out Giles!"

He blinked.  "Sorry.  Okay, from the top.  Way back when, this realm world was ruled by a fairly merciful clan of demons.  Not bad demons.  They didn't want more power.  They had enough to deal with here.  The higher demons all liked them being here because, hey, scary clan of demons who could probably take over a lot of places but why bother?  We had plenty here.  Then a takeover happened and someone let loose a curse. The curse was to send us to the human realm so we'd be easier to hunt.  They split up the set of brilliant guardian twins, the niece and nephew of the overlord Jethro."  He pointed.  "They kept our mates together as brothers.  That's still being worked on.  The rest they spread around."

"So you came to Sunnydale because of the curse?" Willow said.

"It made me be reborn as a human.  Faith too."

"Uh-huh," Buffy said.  "What did you guys look like?"  Xander pointed at the guard watching them.  "Cute fin," she said.  "Giles said you guys were peaceful."

"Unless you attack," Mac said dryly.  "Hi, Mac Taylor.  Formerly Xander and Faith's father."

"Uh-huh," Willow said slowly.  She looked at Faith.  "So the darker side of you is that?"

"No.  The darker side is how I grew up again.  Before I was pretty happy but we were great guardians of the kingdom."

"You were both very good guardians," Jethro agreed.  "Even if whoever Mac had you with was a bit insane."  Faith and Xander just smirked at him for that.  "You four can go talk somewhere more private if you want."

"Can I have my sons as well?" John asked.

"Sure," Tony agreed.  "We can handle it but stay relatively close by in case there's an assault.  We had to take the kingdom back from the evil things that cursed us all."

"And made me the memory key," Xander quipped.

"Which scared the crap out of us," Dean said dryly.  Xander stuck his tongue out at him.  "Still working on that, Xander."

Xander shrugged.  "We'll figure it out.  I did pass back what we heard about the mayor, right?"  Buffy nodded.  "Okay.  We're going to the gardens that they made ugly."

"We're heading to the library," Sam said, getting up.  "Dad, want something to eat?  Dean just got freed from being pinned down."

"I'm good."  He followed his sons to the massive library, looking around.  "This is nice."

"Very nice," Dean agreed.  "Sammy's spent some time in here.  Did you get the emails?"

"I did."  He looked at his sons.  "I want a better explanation than Sammy's ramble."

"I didn't ramble."

"It was a six page paragraph."

Dean looked at Sam.  "Maybe you should be with Xander since he babbles when he's nervous."

"I like Faith," he said simply.

"She could use a hunter to back her up."

Sam looked at him.  "Uh-huh."  Dean groaned.

"I don't care, just quit being so noisy," Horatio called as he walked the library door.

"Dude," Dean said, beaming at his little brother.  "Score!"

"I left it up to her, Dean.  I'm not pushy.  Like you.  She'll make her decision however she feels is best."  He looked at his father, who was gaping.  "Before we were cursed and sent to become human people, Faith was my wife, Dad.  Xander was Dean's."

"I heard something about that when they showed up," he said blandly, sitting down at the end of the table.  "Let's go over all of it.  That explanation was a bit strange."

Dean sat down at the other end.  Sam sat down beside him.  Sam told the story because he could go into the details of the curse and the kingdom that Dean hadn't been paying attention to while making sure they were safe.

***

Xander looked at the girls.  Faith had peeled off to get something to drink.  "So."

"So," Buffy agreed.  "Are you going to change?"

"Don't know," Xander admitted.  "So far I haven't.  It's only been a few weeks up here though.  I heard it's more back at home."  They both nodded.  "How is graduation looking?"

"Crappy," Willow said.

He looked at her.  "I can help with that."  They relaxed again.  "I'm the same Xander I was, only now I have a past life."

"Is this why all the demons are attracted to you?" Buffy asked.

"It may be a function of the curse or it may be who I was before," Xander admitted.  "I was pretty wanted before.  If I remember right, six different clans wanted to marry me and Faith."

"Wow," Willow said.  "There's more than one clan?"

"Yeah, there's a whole bunch.  Two others control other realms.  The rest are spread out here and there."  He grinned.  "Somehow I ended up with Dean."

"I thought you weren't gay," Willow said.

Xander shrugged.  "We're working that out.  As one of them I was actually a breeder."  Willow gaped, whimpering quietly.  He grinned.  "So was Dean.  He was with egg when the curse hit.  So was Sam."  Faith groaned.  "We've agreed, it'll be a long time before that happens again."

"Good.  I'm not ready to be an aunt yet," Willow complained.  She took her drink from Faith.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  She looked at Xander.  "You good?"

"Embarrassed as hell."

"You growled at me."

"Not again," Buffy complained.

"She came out to sniff Dean and make sure he was a suitable mate," Faith told her.  "He sniffed Sam then went back to Dean.  Growled at me.  Growled at Mac.  Don cured it this morning."

"I had a nightmare before then.  Dean ended up pinning me down."  He took his drink and handed Buffy hers so Faith could hand off the tray.  They went back to walking in the garden.  "They really destroyed this.  If Alelea hadn't been such a bitch, she'd be here complaining too I'm sure."

"Hmm," Faith said while she took a drink.  "Gardening is not my thing."

Xander grinned.  "Mine either."  They sidestepped a plant and pulled the girls with them.  "Dangerous and it has spiny tentacles."  He took another drink of his lemonade.  He looked then at her.

"Bottom of the can."

"Okay."  He took another drink.  "Who's patrolling?"

"It's a holiday weekend.  They're slow right now," Buffy said.  "Are you coming back?"

"I don't know.  We're working out how the ruling thing is going to go.  I can be back for grad to help for certain."  They nodded at that.  "Otherwise, I don't know.  Did Giles find my other scythe?"

"The Watchers consider it dangerous and have it locked up," Buffy said.  "He said to tell you."

"Shoot.  They're part of a matched set.  They were a present from one of the high priestesses here.  Faith got a sword and I got a set of scythes."

"That's a present I could like."  Buffy sipped her lemonade too.  She looked around.  "The people who cursed the clan really hated flowers."

"We weren't big on flowers before," Faith said.  "But we had nicer plants."

Xander pointed.  "We spent a lot of time learning over by that wall.  The teachers brought us out here so we could fidget, bounce, and play while studying.  Then our training instructors came to work with us on the other side, by the pond.  So we could accidentally on purpose fall in when we were too sweaty."  He showed them that way.  They had nicer plants near the pond.  He frowned, leaning down to look.  "Hey, Faith, is that what I think it is?"

She looked.  "Fish eggs."  They looked and she went jogging off to get some help.

"Dangerous fish?" Buffy asked.

"People and kitty eating when they grow up."  Guards came rushing out.  He moved them out of the way.  "Fish eggs.  They look like the carnivorous ones."

"They are, Lord Xander.  We need to search out here."  He walked the girls off.  He looked at his backup.  "Get nets.  Get a tank."  They went to do that.  They could dredge the pond and the lake that was out back if they had to.

Xander looked back.  "There's koi in there too," he called.  One popped up.  He bowed to it.  "Master Koi," he said in the local language.  It bubbled something at him.  He bowed again.  "We're worried about the eggs.  Let us get them out before they kill you and us."  The fish disappeared.  Buffy and Willow were gaping.  He grinned.  "They moved in when we were about six.  They're very wise fish."  He walked them into a different part of the garden, finding a gazebo.  "What the hell?" he muttered.  He stopped them and searched it before letting them into it. "We only got it back last week.  We're all a bit paranoid."

"It's a good thing to be now and then," Buffy agreed.  "Especially when people want to kill or own you."

"Here they know I'm not a direct descendent so they're not trying as much anymore.  Jethro has two heirs for them to try to woo."  He stretched out on a bench with a yawn.  "Sorry.  Long night growling apparently."

"I can see how you need a nap," Buffy said.  "Is he good to you?"

"We're working out the whole 'we're not gay' thing," Xander told her.  "Sam and Faith are seeing if they're still compatible but Dean's offered to take her so I'd have Sam."  They blushed.  "It took a long time to settle on their clan and family.  They were the last one to show up about marriage alliances.  The first time I ended up with Dean because we snuck off for some weapon petting time."  Both girls squeaked and blushed.  "That too.  Dean's a weapons nut."

"Xander?" a male voice called.

"Gazebo out past the pond and to the right."  He looked at them.  "I have no idea."  Speed walked in a few minutes later.  "Speed," he said with a grin.  "What's up?"

"We came to check on H but he's growling at some overly perfumed and jeweled woman."  He sat down beside him.  "Ladies."

"Hi.  Are you from here too?" Willow asked.

"Originally.  My mother and I were the caretaker for the clan."  She smiled at that.  "Now I work with Horatio in Miami's crime lab."  They gaped.  He smirked.  "The brains keep coming in my family."  Xander gave him a nudge.  "H sent me to check on you."

"We're okay."

"You had to call guards."

"We found fish eggs."

"I hate those things.  They're four inches long, silver, and have a huge set of teeth," he told the girls.  "We get an infestation now and then.  They're slippery and hard to kill.  You have to stab them."  He looked at Xander.  "How's it been?"

"It's been okay.  A few trial attacks.  A few annoyed people.  Some people who want to marry Abby or Danny.  A way to piss Jethro off is to get too near to Abby.  We're doing okay though.  Took us half a week to find our old stuff and decent mattresses.  There's elves in the FBI."

Speed shook his head quickly.  "For some reason that doesn't surprise me.  Are they the good agents or the idiot ones?"

"Good ones according to Jethro but they hate Sunnydale.  I offered to let one help me bomb it but he didn't like that.  They're back telling their court that Jethro's back and in charge.  They were going to declare war on the other guys."

"Good.  That saves some wear and tear on everyone."

"We had one demon who carried his own plague of locusts.  Dean got him with an arrow from the top of the castle.  He was outside the gates.  He insulted me so he went bye-bye."

Buffy swallowed her current drink.  "You slayed him?"

"Hell yes.  It's my job to protect the clan, Buffy.  Here or back at home really."

"H does pretty good on the over-protective father side," Speed assured him, putting an arm around Xander's shoulders.

"Will Dean like that?" Willow teased.

Speed shrugged.  "Dean kept saying he wasn't gay and Xander clearly needs a cuddle."

Xander looked at him.  "Are you hitting on me?"

"No."  He smirked.  "But Horatio said you needed a cuddle after last night.  Me or Alexx, Xander."

"I'd rather have you than the great mothering one."  He saw Dean and Sam come out.  "We're in the gazebo," he called, waving a hand.  He looked at the girls.  "Any good gossip going on?"

"Not really.  The same as usual.  Cordy smirks at the ill-dressed ones.  Slayer patrol happens.  Homework sucks.  How are you going to be at graduation?  You're missing half the year."

"I can get my GED.  I'll attend as a guest."  Dean turned and stomped off.  Xander sighed.

"That is something you chase after him to explain," Buffy said bluntly. "Because he looked jealous."

Xander jogged after Dean, walking him off in another direction.  "Speed was a childhood friend and Horatio told him I needed a cuddle after growling last night.  It wasn't what you think."

Dean stared at him.  "There is no such thing as an unjealous Winchester, Xander.  If you're mine, you're mine.  All mine.  No cuddling someone else."

Xander looked at their hands then at him.  "The last I knew, we were still working it out, Dean.  You've been protesting  all along about being my former mate."

Dean calmed himself down.  "But you weren't doing anything?"

"He got told by Horatio!  I'm not dating Speed!"

"Uh-huh."  He started to walk off but Xander stopped him.  "Let.  Go."

"No!"  He stared at him.  "This jealous streak doesn't go with the 'I'm not gay' tirade you've been on, Dean."

"We," he corrected.

"Fine, we."

"Yet last night you spent licking and nuzzling me."

"That was the hyena, Dean.  If you're jealous over me being held by a friend from my childhood, then that's more than that."

"I have all these memories and I don't know why things aren't as simple now."

"You want to be pregnant?  Because you were when we basically died here."

"No!"

"Then why are you jealous?" he demanded, looking confused.  "Would you get jealous if Sam gave me a hug?"

"Yes!  If I'm yours and you're mine, then that's all there is to it."

"But you don't want that.  Which is what's confusing the hell out of me," he shouted.  "You don't want me but you're jealous.  You don't want the guy I grew up with to cuddle me because I had a long night and freaked myself out but you won't do it.  What do you want?"  Dean stomped off.  Xander growled and stomped off in another direction.  "Fine, all yours," he called.

Dean turned to glare at him.  "Not cute."

"Fuck off."

Dean stomped after him, pushing him against a tree.  "Last night was clearly claiming."

"I wasn't in control and you were still freaked about not being gay.  Hell, any other man, even most straight ones, would've been at least a little bit hard.  From what my scent memory tells me, you didn't get that way."  He got free.  "Make up your mind, Dean.  I need human contact.  I'm one of those who needs touched, cuddled, patted, talked to.  It'd be a great change.  It'd probably calm me down.  It used to.  I just don't understand this."  He walked off, going back inside to hide in the armory.

Speed found Dean sulking and kicking a tree.  "It was never like that between us, Dean.  We were childhood friends.  I spent a lot of time soothing Xander and calming down his hyper spikes."  Dean glared at him.  "I'm not poaching now either.  Horatio said he needed a hug because he went hyena and confused the hell out of you.  What did you want me to do, leave a friend miserable?"  He stepped closer.  "For a straight guy, you're really jealous of one guy touching another one you say you don't want."  He walked off to talk to the girls again.  "Dean's jealous and Xander stomped off somewhere.  He's probably in the closet in the armory.  Let me show you two around the city?"  They nodded, letting him be the tour guide.  They'd never been to another realm before.

***

Faith walked into the armory, finding where Xander had gone up into the storage loft they usually used as a walkway to clean the upper windows.  She plopped down next to him.  "Sam's a jealous bastard too."

"Dean accused me of playing around yet I'm not even his."

"You two will figure it out before you drive the rest of us nuts," Faith assured him.  "Because you will be."  Xander glared at her.  "Truth.  Really."  She patted him on the arm.  "Should I tell him you're hiding in here?"

"Nope."

"Okay."  She got up.  "Want dinner?"

"I'll scavenge later."

"Sure, I'll have someone put the leftovers on a plate for you."  She climbed back down and went to the formal dining room.  "Xander said he'll take leftovers."

"No way in hell," Dean snarled, stomping off.

"Stop him," Sam said quietly. "I have no idea why he's in a jealous snit but stop him."  John went to stop his older son.  Sam looked at her.  "I may be jealous if someone's poaching or you're teasing.  I'm not that jealous."

"Good to know," she said dryly, taking her seat.  "Xan's in the alley."

Jethro nodded.  "It was a favorite hiding spot of his."  He handed down food.  "Abby, you did a great job cleaning up this room."

"I had to take out all the tentacle plants," she said.  "They kept trying to feel me up, Gibbs."

"I heard you yell at one before stomping it.  The guards told me what happened when I started to come help."  She grinned at that.  "Ladies, eat, please."  He heard John getting loud and leaned back to see up the hallway.  "Take it outside!"  They did that.  "Sorry.  Sometimes Marines get loud.  We learn it in Basic."  He dished up his own food and passed more things down.  "Who cooked?"

"Alexx," Speed said.  That got a hum of appreciation from most everyone.  "I helped."  They smiled and dug in.  Chatting comfortably to get to know the other slayer and Willow since they were friends of Xander's and slightly friends of Faith's.  They didn't seem to like Faith as much but Sam was happy and keeping her attention focused on something other than worrying about Xander and Dean's fight turning into a brawl.  They all winced when they heard a breaking window.  "That was the private audience room," Speed said.  He and Horatio went to check it out.

"You did grow up here," Horatio said, picking up the dead bird.  He carried it back, holding it up from the doorway.  Jethro nodded so he put it outside to be buried by the garden crew.  Plenty of the town needed temporary work to get back on their feet and their castle had nearly been ruined.  Horatio washed his hands before coming back.  "No note attached, Jethro.  Looks like it flew in and crashed."

"That's fine.  As long as it's not another attack," Jethro said.  Horatio shook his head.

"Not unless someone has birds and a catapult," Speed joked.

"That was our last year here," Sam told him.  Speed moaned, shaking his head. "They were shooting vultures at us."

Jethro shook his head. "They were annoying and wanted Xander even though he was married."  Willow choked.  "He and Dean were married before, Rosenburg.  The same as Faith and Sam were."

She drank some water until she could speak again.  "How long were they married?"

"Two years before the curse," Sam said quietly then ate a bite, glancing at Faith, who grinned.  "We were expecting an egg when it happened."

"Xander said something about breeders," Buffy said.

"All four of the children were," Mac agreed.  "Dean was expecting as well and we were waiting to hear if Xander was with egg since they couldn't decide and did it both ways to see which one caught."  Willow squeaked.  "I wasn't sure I was ready to be a grandfather but this time we'll work it out somehow.   Including how to handle the ruling duties."

"Timeshare?" Tony suggested.

Jethro shrugged.  "We're working on it this weekend after this fight is done."  John walked back in.  "Dean calmer?"

"No but he's out back sulking.  We have no idea where Xander is so they can be locked in a closet together."

"There's a loft alley on top of the armory," Faith said quietly.  "Xander said not to tell him."

"They need to work this out.  I don't know why Dean's so jealous."

"Past memories interfering," Dean said as he walked in.  "I don't know other than that.  I'm not even this jealous over my girlfriends."

"You finally kept one?" Sam quipped.  Faith kicked him.  "Sorry."

"I did," Dean told him.  "Then we had to move on."  His father nodded at that. "Because your girlfriend wanted to move in."

"She was not."

"She thought she was," John said, stuffing his mouth.  "I don't mind Faith and Xander, boys.  They're sensible kids.  They know what we do.  We don't have to hide things from them.  They're responsible with the weapons.  They could both use a bit of backup while hunting."  Faith nodded at that.  "With Sammy supposedly graduating this year..."

"The school's been sending me assignments and I've been sending them back," Sam told him.  "They think you had to move us suddenly due to a problem with a special friend Dean had."  Dean snorted.  "With his knowledge.  So they let me do it by email."  He ate another bite.  "I'm on track for graduation this spring."

"Congrats," Faith said.  Sam smiled.  "Are you walking?"

"I don't know.  That depends on getting back there and what's going on."

"I can see that.  Let me know?"

He smiled.  "If I do, can you wear that red skirt?"

"I'd need shoes but sure."  He grinned.  "So, B.  Your grad?"

"Big nasty."

"So we've been hearing.  Any ideas yet?"

"The mayor," Willow said.  "We're not sure what's going on.  Giles is still looking up what an ascension is and what it means.  There's not a lot of books that he can get."

"I'll check in the library here.  We might have something," Sam offered.  "I'm pretty good with research."

"Faith needs a watcher," Buffy told him.  "That's basically what they do.  Some helping her slay."

"Sam could do that," John agreed. "He'd be good at it.  He can help you train too."  She smiled and nodded.

Dean put down his fork and took a drink.  "Where is he?"

"Hiding," Faith said.   "Go look in the old spots."

"I was."

She looked at him.  "He's got a view.  I'll give you that much."  He groaned but left to find his mate.  "I'm not sure Xander won't scream at him."

"They'll work it out later if they can't right now," Sam said gently.  "Even if they are doing a dual mattress room at the moment."

"It was kinda cute," she teased.

He smirked back.  "More area to play on for them but a huge drop off."

"Good point."

"The one in our apartment is way too high.  We'd have to get a trundle."  She gave him a confused look.  "One of the ones that pulls out from under the bed."

"Oh, that's what they're called.  I saw them in some old time movie once."  Sam grinned.  "Not like I have a lot of experience with furniture stuff."

"Us either.  I think I spent most of my life on a motel or a rental bed."  John gave him a look.  "You should see the bed in our apartment, Dad.  It's waist high, has a massive frame and we almost need stairs to climb up into it."

"I was thinking about adding a canopy," Faith teased.

"Would it keep Sam from squealing?" Mac asked her.  Sam blushed and ducked his head.  Buffy giggled.

"Hey, if it's good," Faith said dryly.

Mac looked at her.  "Buy him a gag, Faith."  She cackled, punching him on the arm.  Sam was now bright red but oh well.  Mac added more to her plate.  She dug in and went back to teasing Sam into blushing even brighter red.  Buffy was blushing too but she could handle that.

***

Dean found the armory again and looked around.  He was being as silent as he could be.  He didn't want to have Xander hide more on him.  He looked up at the small hidden area, then found the ladder and slowly climbed.  He found Xander in a corner.  "Hey."  No answer.  He crawled over to him and settled beside him, blocking him from getting away this time. "You okay?"

"Nope."

Dean slumped, looking at him.  "I don't know."

Xander looked at him.  "Huh?"

"I don't know why I got so jealous."

Xander snorted, going back to watching outside.  "When I was ten, I sat up here and watched an invasion try to happen.  Watched the fires they burned the bodies on too," he said quietly.  "Including our last general."

Dean shifted, leaning to look out the window.  "That's not the prettiest view I've seen but was it a good memory?"

"Fairly decent.  Dad was sick so we were worried about him.  Faith was on the top parapet."

"That's a beautiful view."

"It's crumbling; we shouldn't be up there.  It can fall on us and kill us."

Dean made Xander look at him.  "I have no idea why I was that much of a shit earlier."

"He was a friend."

"I get that."

"Would you be as jealous if it was a girl?"

"Probably."  He shifted closer.  "I have all these old memories that say I should be your only mate.  Like last night you woke me up by licking my foot."  Xander grimaced.  "It gets sweaty there so you got a good taste of my scent."  He shifted slightly closer.  "If you caught me snuggling with someone, you'd probably be jealous too."

"Only if we were actually together."

"Your hyena possession thinks we are.  My memories think we are.  I think maybe it overreacted because it was thinking we had been separated for a long time."  Xander frowned at him.  "Separation anxiety and then you were cuddling another guy.  One that's smarter, makes a hell of a real paycheck, knew you for a long time.  Lots of guys would get jealous at that."

"There's more who wouldn't be and wouldn't stomp off."

"All Winchesters have tempers and are jealous."

"Sam doesn't get upset when Faith flirts with you.  Hell, I don't get upset when Faith flirts at you."

Dean looked at him.  "I'm trying, Xander.  I jumped to a conclusion."

Xander nodded.  "The problem is the conclusion you jumped to.  I'm not the sort to cheat."

"Maybe it was having the girls here and I felt a bit threatened," Dean said quietly.  Xander scowled.  "What?"  He pointed.  Dean looked then groaned.  "We need to tell someone."

"They're friends but a pain in the ass."  He got to his knees, opening the window to look down.  "Guard?"  One leaned out of the main door.  "I can see circus tents."  He groaned, going to alert others.  Xander let the window close an sat back down.  "You're going to hate them.  They'll hit on me for hours.  They tried for three years to get me to be theirs but didn't want Faith too so I refused and walked off in a huff.  Mac was not happy."

"You two demanded to go together?"

"We weren't the telepathic twin sorts but I didn't like them.  They didn't want Faith and always ignored her as being lesser.  Faith was the better warrior.  Something set my hackles up and they stayed raised."

Mac walked in and looked up.  "Xander, stay away from them.  If they're here to try again, walk away."

"Yes, Mac."

"Dean, do not go off on them.  Snarl all you want but no yelling.  They'll try to use it as an excuse to start a clan war.  They did when Xander snubbed them."  He left to talk to Sam about what had happened.

"See?" Xander said dryly.

"They can't have you."

"Until we're mated....."

Dean pulled Xander's head closer to kiss him.  "We'll figure that out.  We can appear married for the moment to cure problems."  Xander blinked at him.  "We can.  I've had to act to get info before on a hunt."  He patted him on the arm.  "We'll figure it out."

Horatio walked in and climbed up the ladder to look up the alley at the boys.  "Are we doing better?"  Dean shrugged.  "Xander?"

"I'm okay."

"Want to come down to get food?  Before they get here and cause a stink because the rooms aren't up to usual standards or the garden's full of ugly plants."

"I should," Xander agreed, shifting to get around Dean by climbing over his lap.

"Come back up here?" Dean asked.

Xander grinned.  "I can do that.  It keeps me out of their way."

"It keeps both of you out of their way," Horatio agreed.  He climbed back down, letting Xander come down.  "There's still food on the table.  Get him some too since he only picked at his dinner."  Xander walked off.  Horatio climbed back up, sitting on the edge.  "Dean, are you all right?"

"I don't know why I went spastic."

"As I'm sure it was pointed out, for a straight man you were very jealous of your supposedly straight boyfriend cuddling."  Dean nodded at that.  "Perhaps we should be reconsidering our alignment?"

"I am."

"Good."

"Will me acting like a hovering boyfriend help?"

"I don't know yet.  With those ones, they could be here to ask for his death for hunting demons.  They're not that pleasant to deal with.  Pushy, annoying, loud."  He got out of the way for Xander to climb up with the tray.  He took it, getting a smile.  Xander climbed up and sat closer to the entryway, out of sight from the windows.  Horatio handed over the food.  "Eat, boys.  Then hit your bunk for the night.  If you run into a problem, yell and we'll come help."  He patted Xander on the arm. "We'll handle it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."  He went back down the ladder, going to the throne room.  "The boys are eating.  They'll hide."

"Good," Mac agreed.  "Jethro said they're being rude showing up this late at night.  They get the squishy beds."

"Works for me.  I'm glad to have my own mattress back.  How is New York taking your absence?"

"I emailed the boss to tell him we're still on that case that pulled us all away.  We do think someone there knew.  Don's boss didn't looked pleased when he saw Xander."

"Hmm."  Horatio looked over as the doors thumped open.  "We just barely got those fixed," he said dryly.  He looked at Mac again.  "Sam?"

"Bed.  Reading.  Along with the one working out," Mac said quietly.  Horatio nodded at that.  "Stella."  She walked in from the kitchen, bringing him some water.  "Guests."

Stella waved.  "Good evening."  She walked off again.

"We just finished dinner.  She's putting up some of the leftovers for snacks later."  Mac sat on Tony's chair.  "What can we do for you tonight?"

"We have come to talk to you about your son."

"What about Xander?"

"He has broken every single treaty we've ever made."

"If you're talking about his hunting, he had no idea until about a month before he woke our memories."

"I'm *talking* about the way he did not conform to the treaty that would give one of his heirs to our clan for marriage."

"He's now a human male.  His mate is a human male.  Neither of which can have children.  The only child that may have been born was still in Dean when we were cursed and basically died to be reborn in the human realm."

"That violates the treaty."

"If they were barren, would that?" Horatio asked.

"Yes.  Where is the overlord and clan leader?  I want him punished."

"He's off taking care of something," Mac said.

Stella came out of the kitchen sipping some coffee.  "I want to see the copy of the treaty."

"Who are you to demand anything?" she sneered.

"High Priestess Stella."  The demon backed up, looking horrified.  "They had us all reborn as humans.  I'm also CSI Stella Bonasera in New York."  She took another sip.  Don walked in with Danny.  "Hey, guys."

"Hey," Danny said, sitting on the throne.  "Okay, Jethro said he's busy.  What's up?"

"They want to punish Xander for not having kids," Mac said.

"Huh.  No."  He looked at the demons.  "They lost the baby when we were reborn.  I'm not gonna push them to have another one since it hurts them ta think about it.  Even with a future marriage treaty, which I don't think you have after talking to Xander just now."

"He's here?"

"Of course he's here.  They made him the memory key," Mac said.  "He won't be seeing you.  We don't want to have problem."

"I like that idea," Danny agreed.  "We don't need more with all the redecorating we've got going on."  Don coughed so he grinned at him.  "Is your room fixed?"

"I've got it down to the basics.  My stuff was found in the closet.  Horatio has to remove a ton of stuff still so I've been helping him."  Horatio nodded.  "I have no idea where they found that."

"There's a good pathway of information and things from our realm," Horatio reminded him.  "Where is John?"

"With Sam," Danny said.  That got a nod.  "The girls decided to take a room in town so they wouldn't have to share a bed.  One's mom sent them with some money."

"That's fine," Mac agreed.  "Probably better at the moment."

The demon huffed.  "I will not be put off on this matter."

"Then present the treaty," Danny said.  "Even though it's not really a treaty that's enforceable.  If there is a treaty."

She glared.  "How dare you doubt me."

"The last time we heard about your clan, they were here trying to snatch Xander but didn't respect him or like him all that much," Don said dryly.  "It got to the point where the boy had to nearly run away to get away from you disrespecting him and his twin sister."

"She's not worthy."

"Yet, she's the better warrior," Danny said.  "Always was from what I heard."  Don nodded at that.  "And now she's a slayer."  The demon gasped, backing up a few steps.  "Why pass over the better fighter when they'd be honor bound to protect your clan to get Xander?  Who was a pretty decent fighter but Faith was better at the time.  Xander had just picked up his scythes.  Faith stayed with the swords they trained on."

"They also had a lot of unmarried sons," Stella told him.  "They had to dig up a cousin to marry Xander since they had no breeders."

"Interesting," Don agreed.  "If I remember right, there was also a problem with the cousin's health."

"He's gifted," she sneered.

"Very," Stella agreed.  "But too wild to serve in the temple."

"They say he can be a seer under the right circumstances."

"Doubt it," Danny said.

"No, he might be able to," Faith said as she walked in.  "It's hidden but he had a few funny dreams now and then."  She walked over to lean on the throne Mac was on.  "What's the what, people?"

"They think they have a treaty to take Xander's egg but he's not a breeder anymore."

"Ah," she said, nodding slowly.  Then she shook her head.  "Xander wouldn't have signed that."

"Me either," Jethro said as he walked in.  Danny moved.  He sat down, looking at her.  "What?  Do I look that different?"

"No, not really.  You did sign it."

"Then produce the treaty," Stella said.  Faith looked at her.  "With documentation we can make a decision.  Without it, they're farting complaints."

Don snickered.  "I've got to remember that saying."

She smirked at him.  "I'm very wise."

"You are," Jethro agreed.  "But we never agreed to hand over any clan's children.  Not since we were desperate during the Frosat war generations ago."

She pulled out the treaty, handing it to Mac.  "There."

Stella took it to look over.  "This is ancient."  She found the right clause.  "The last son born of the clan should give his child to them.  Under penalty of death."

"Xander wasn't born of the clan," Mac said quietly.  She glared at him.  "I didn't bear Xander and Faith.  I'm not a breeder.  Their mother wasn't in the clan and we weren't married.  That means Horatio's the last born of the clan.  He's barren too."

"I may marry some day but since I'm human now, they probably would be as well."

Jethro nodded.  "Three former marriages and I don't have any more kids.  You tried really hard to get Xander so you could brainwash him, use him, then kill him probably."  He scratched his wrist.  "Which I do not like."

Horatio looked at his wrist.  "You're flaking, Jethro."

"I've been doing it all day.  The healer said it's the difference in the minerals in the local diet.  I need vitamins."

"Or we need to send Buffy for cheeseburgers," Faith said with a grin.

"Chicken wings," Don said.  "Universal guy food."

She looked at him.  "The tits mean I'm not a guy, Don."  He cackled.  "So, are you guys forbidden to marry?"

"Kinda.  My Ma'll hate that but I've got to explain this to them."  He looked at the sweating demon.  "So."

"Buffy is here?  The slayer?"

Faith nodded.  "She came to see Xander and me.  Willow too."  She smirked.  "Or can't you feel I'm a slayer too?"

"She's better."

Faith shrugged.  "She's had it longer."  She would not show that hurt.

Xander walked in and slapped the demon to knock her down.  "Faith's a very good slayer and she's more concerned about important things.  Much more important than her clothes.  Do not insult my twin again or I will make your whole clan sorry," he snarled.

"Down boy," Jethro ordered calmly.

"Oh, but why?" he asked.  "She'd be fun.  I can hunt her.  We can have a grand hunt all around town.  Out into the woods.  The people will like it, celebrate, have a picnic."  He gave him a winning smile.  "I can even ride."

"No," Jethro said.  "Not allowed."

"Damn."  He glared at the demon.  Then he leaned down with an evil smirk.  "Even if I was having kids, they'd be just like Dean."  She burst out crying and scrambled to her feet, stomping off.  "Bye now," he called, waving his hand.  "Like I'd let any kids go to anyone I didn't like."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Solved, Dean," he called as he walked.

Faith shook her head.  "Sometimes that boy has no sense," Stella said.

"I told him to avoid them," Horatio said.

"Xander is the definition of stubborn," Faith said.  "B told me when his friend got taken by vampires he got into her face and made her take him.  Each time they try to send him away, he got into their face."  They all nodded at that.  "We good?"

"For now," Mac said.  "She might try to come back."

"I'm not planning on having children," Horatio noted.  "Even if I were, I'd never let them get that far away.  I'd probably be worse than Sam is."  Faith gave him an odd look.  "Dean's over-protective of Sam but this would be the first person Sam had to protect."

She walked off shaking her head.  "No kids.  Ever."  Sam caught her, pulling her into an alcove to kiss her.  "Needed it that bad?"

He grinned.  "Dad's still in our room."

"Your dad's growly but okay enough."

"Now and then."  He took another kiss.  "Xander all right?"

"He's probably pacing and snapping," she said.

"Dean's calming him down then."  He walked her off.  "Do you think we can make Dad go away soon?"

"Probably."  They walked into their apartment.

"Dad, it's bedtime."  His father scowled at him.  "I'll sleep on the couch if she wants.  All she has to do is ask, Dad.  You did teach me honor."  His father walked off shaking his head.  Sam kicked the door shut with a grin for her.  "All up to you."

"I'm used to guys who want to make decisions for me."

He leaned closer to her.  "I can do that but you'd keep Mac and Horatio up again."  She cackled.  He pulled her closer to kiss her, making her one happy slayer.  And he never got out of his underwear.  He wouldn't do that to her since they didn't have any condoms or other forms of birth control handy.  His tongue was enough.

"Geez, Sammy, way too loud!" Dean yelled from outside.

"Shut up and go to bed!" he yelled back.  "Jerk."

Faith pulled him back down to get back to it.

Dean went back to his room once he had a snack.  Xander was sacked out on his bed.  Dean sat on his, nibbling while reading.  He had found a pretty decent novel in the library.  Xander moaned and flipped onto his bed.  "Not again," he muttered.  He put his book and snack aside, flipping onto his stomach to look down at Xander.  "Xander?"  Xander batted at his voice.  "Xander?"  He got pushed at then Xander flipped onto his injured side, then yelped. "Hey."  He slid down to push Xander onto his back.  He groaned at the new bleeding.  "What did you do, sleep with a sword?"  He found the scythe and put it up onto the pillow.  Xander pulled it down to cuddle.  "Sure."  He looked at the injury, shaking his head.  "That's going to hurt when you wake up."  He smacked Xander on the face gently.  "Hey."  Xander blinked at him.  "You rolled over onto it.  You need more stitches."

"I'll do them in the morning," he complained, flipping onto his other side.

"Get up and I'll do them for you, Xander."  Xander looked at him.  "I can.  I have done ours for a while now.  Sammy's more gentle but I'm good enough."  Xander sighed, pulling off his shirt to let him get at the injury.  "On the higher bed."  He went to get what he needed from the first aid kit Xander had carried with them when they snuck across the mirror.  He came back to clean the injury and then get to work on it.  "Why were you sleeping with your scythe?"

"Extra protection in case they came back."

Dean looked up at him.  "You sleep too deeply to wake up."

"If there's anyone I don't expect to be in the room, I'd wake up."

Dean grinned.  "So you expect me to be in here?"

"Now.  The trek here I almost didn't sleep.  I think I slept in the carts we hitched rides on but not at night.  I zoned out while we walked."

"I wondered why you didn't react to the snake we almost got bitten by."  He went back to stitching.  It wasn't so bad, just a bit deep.  "There," he said, tying off the last one and cutting the strings.  He put the stuff on the bedside table.  "Want a bandage?"

"I'm good."  He yawned.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome, Xander.  Why don't you sleep up here?"

"I'm fine down there.  It's safer too."

"We can guard each other," Dean told him.  "You can even sleep with the scythe."  Xander curled up on the far side of the bed.  Dean finished his snack in a few bites before laying down to go to sleep.  Xander was curled up with a hand on his scythe.  Dean was on his back but he had his favorite handgun under his pillow and his hands were under his head. He fell asleep that way, relaxing most of the way.  If there was a threat he'd have to get up.  Xander slept too deeply.  Someone opened a door and Dean snapped awake but didn't move.  He felt Xander stiffen too.  So apparently he was paranoid.  Whoever it was stepped inside and closed the door.  Dean shifted, looking like he was flipping onto his side facing the door.  The body paused.  The gun was in his hand and he had gotten it down to his waist as he moved.  The body stepped closer.  "Freeze," he ordered, cocking the gun.  The body froze.  Xander flipped on the light.  It was one of the guards.  "Why are you in here?"

"Someone said they heard Lord Xander making pained noises."

"That was over an hour ago," Xander said.  He got up, looking at him.  He sniffed.  "Vampire.  Interesting."  The vampire whimpered.  "Why are you in my room?"

"To check on you, sir.  I've served the clan for years.  I'm not here to hurt you or the slayer, sir."

Xander nodded.  "That was still over an hour ago."

"I know but they didn't want to sneak in since you gutted the last one who tried to check on you before the curse."

Xander stepped back.  "I'm fine.  Dean stitched where I rolled over on my scythe.  Next time, knock."  He nodded, fleeing.  Xander went back to his bed.  Dean looked down at him.  "Yes, I'm a bit paranoid.  There's vamps all over Sunnydale and they all want to take us out."

"That's fine.  You can still sleep up here."

"I smell a really bad stink.  It'd be safer if I was under the bed."  He shifted and rolled under the bed next to the mattress.  "Can I have my scythe?"  Dean passed it down then laid back down, turning off the lights with the clapper function.  The door opened a few minutes later and Xander had to sigh at the gaudy ankle bells the intruder was wearing.  The perfume stench was floating down to make him gag.

Dean pointed the gun at the demon.  "Get out of my room."

"Where is the heathen bastard?" she sneered.

"Walking."  She moved closer.  "Come get her or I'm shooting her," he called.  No answer so he shrugged and shot her on the arm, making her scream and wail.  She even rolled around on the floor.  Fortunately they had a solid footboard that covered Xander's location.  Horatio came running in.  "She wanted some heathen bastard.  I'm sure I make her list."

Horatio hauled her up.  "No guards this way?"

"We just scared one to death," Xander called.

"Sure," Horatio decided, hauling her out.  He tossed her into Jethro's room.  "She was looking for some heathen bastard in the boys' room.  Dean thinks he now qualifies and Xander was ...somewhere.  Apparently they scared a guard down there recently."

"Noise?" Jethro asked.

"I doubt it since I saw a stitching pack getting ready to be tossed out."

"I'll ask him in the morning."  Jethro looked at the perfumed, sobbing, ugly dressed mess on his floor.  "Do we have a brig?"

"I don't know," Horatio admitted.  "I know we used to."  A guard stomped in.  "Who got scared of the boys?"

"We sent in a vampire guard to check on them.  He ran up to the parapet.  Nearly off it before he calmed down.  Lord Xander scared the crap out of him."

Jethro smiled.  "She should've done that too."

"We have a jail cell.  Let me put her into it until you've had coffee, Overlord."  He hauled her up and out.  "We'll do a thorough search of the castle."

"Thank you," Horatio said, looking at Jethro.  "Why Xander?"

"I don't know.  Why try to kill Xander and Faith?  They gave us normal lives, made us normal people.  Why make Faith a slayer, who would be in danger of dying young, and put them both into bad areas that have a lot of demons?"

"I do not know," Horatio said.  "Yet.  Is there someone we can ask?"

"Ask Buffy tomorrow."  He laid back down.  "Night."

"Night."  He left, going back to his own suite to settle in again.  Mac leaned out of his.  "Someone wanted Xander."

"Why?"

"I do not know.  Yet."

"I'll help you look."  He pulled back in and went back to wondering about the problem at hand.  Why Faith and Xander?  At dawn he got up and went down to the rooming house the girls were in, nodding politely at the keeper when he was let in.  "Are the girls up?"

"One is.  One is snoring heavily, Lord Mac."

"Thank you.  Third or second floor?"

"Third.  We have a vampire here to work on the quarry problem.  We wanted them far apart so no one had to be paranoid."

"Quarry problem?"

"We had one wall collapse last week.  No injuries.  Just a minor setback to the repairs on the walls for a few weeks.  We didn't want to bother the overlord with something so trivial."

"He appreciates that.  Let us know if it's going to interfere with things."   That got a nod.  He went up to find the girls, smelling the light, crisp perfume being applied in one room.  He knocked and the demon smiled at him.  "Sorry, wrong room.  Looking for Summers and Rosenburg."  She pointed across the hall.  "Thank you, ma'am."  He knocked and Buffy answered, staring at him.  "I have a few questions."

"Sure."  She let him in and settled on the top of the bed.  "You can have the footboard.  All girls learn how to chat on a bed."

"Thank you."  He sat down, looking at her.  "The clan that showed up last night...."

"The gaudy, circus tent people?"

"Yes, them.  For some reason they wanted Xander."

"Why?"

"That's what we're wondering.  They pulled out an ancient treaty to try to get him."  He shifted.  "Is there a power that's over top of higher level demons?"

"The Powers That Be."

"The Powers That Be?"

"They're over Champions and Slayers.  I'm guessing there would be a higher level demon over the realms.  I don't know who it'd be.  I can call Giles to ask.  He might be able to find it."

"Please and ask if he might know why so many demons want Xander?"

"Of course.  We don't want Xander hurt.  That's why we came to threaten Dean and Sam."

He smiled.  "That's good.  I'm sure they'll appreciate that.  Even if Dean did stitch him up earlier this morning."  She gave him a hurt look.  "He rolled over on his scythe from what the guard said."

She rolled her eyes.  "Yeah, that's Xander to a T.  He likes to play with the weapons but he doesn't have a lot of training."

"Why?"

"Well, we didn't have time to but he did what he could sparring with me.  He learned by practice from jumping in.  My first watcher trained me some but Giles has tried to do more.  I'm good with a stake and okay with a sword but I trained more in hand-to-claw."

"That's not a problem," Mac told her.  "You can't be excellent in every form of martial arts."  She smiled at that.  "Can you call him and let us know?"

"Of course.  Is Dean going to throw a hissy if we cuddle Xander?  He clearly looked a bit lost."

"They worked out the jealousy issue yesterday."  He stood up.  "The past memories did that.  Dean was very overprotective last time.  He used to nag Xander every time he came in injured while holding him down to take care of the injuries."

She laughed.  "Yeah, he hides them from us too.  Ever since Willow got a bit strange when she started to date Oz."

"Do we know why?"

"No.  She discovered magic around then too.  That's kinda when we started to be bad to Xander.  Started to think he was too normal and stuff."

"I can understand that part of that was worry about him, Buffy, but you hurt him quite a lot."

"I'm sorry, Mac.  I didn't mean to but it was part worry and part slayer specialness kick.  Willow has powers.  I have powers....  What did Xander have?"

"Training.  That's all someone like Dean has and his family's been hunting for years.  It's all any of us have at the end of the day.  Powers can leave but training is forever, even with amnesia."

"Good point.  I saw that movie."   He smiled and left.  She sat down to make sure her cellphone had a signal.  Huge roaming fees probably but this was important.  "Giles, it's me."  She smiled.  "He's okay.  The one they want to be his mate got a bit jealous for no reason yesterday.  Someone was hugging him.  He used to hold Xander down to take care of his injuries before so he couldn't hide them.  Even nagged the Xander."  He laughed at that.

"Yeah, he probably ran into the 'I'm fine' wall too.  Anyway, small problem.  Two different demons have come to get Xander.  Yeah, pulled out an ancient treaty to get him.  One snuck into his room from the rumors the guards said when I went out for tea earlier.  That's what they wanted to know.  Is there a higher power over the ones who rule realms?"  She beamed.

"Thank you.  Sure, let me know.  They have email here too so you can have Oz email it to Willow if you want.  Because huge roaming fees, Giles.  I doubt this is on my network."  He said he doubted it too.  "But we're going to hang out up there again.  They're flipping the building so it's back to the nicer look it had been.  The garden is filled with spiny, tentacly plants that can eat us and they had people-eating fish eggs in the pond.  Sure, thanks, Giles.  Soon."  She hung up and went to stop Willow from snoring.  She was *really* loud.  That's why she didn't want to share a room with her.

***

Mac walked into the throne room, walking around the sobbing, pleading, overly perfumed thing with gaudy clothes that looked like she had cut down a clown's costume.  "They let them have perfume in jail?"

"She's in heat," Jethro said dryly.  "The clothes I'm not sure about."

"Hmm.  Not attractive to me," Xander said from his spot in the corner.  "No matter what sort of stink she puts out."

"Humans can make themselves perform," she sneered at him.

He shook his head.  "No I can't.  Sorry.  If my mind isn't into it, the lower head isn't either."

Mac looked at him.  "The girls will be up later."

"Sure."

"How bad are the stitches?"

"It was a scratch and he overreacted."

"Didn't he used to do that?" Faith teased from her seat.

He shrugged.  "I didn't get them all back because I didn't get the memory upgrade you got when you got your sword."

"Whatever, Xander.  They'll come.  Maybe it takes snuggling Dean."

He gave her a dirty look.  "Just because it was good for you," he shot back.

"It was but not like that."

"Uh-huh.  You just cuddled," he said dryly.

"No sleeve, no love," she quipped back.

"Maybe Willow brought some.  She's dating Oz.  She doesn't want baby werewolves."

"That's a bad thought," Dean said.  "Furry babies three days a month?"  He shuddered.

"So if X was a furry baby, you'd never think about eggs?" she teased him.

"I'd never be cold but I'd have to shave," Xander told him.  "I can't stand the hair growing back after having to shave for the swim team."

"You're still shaving?" Faith asked, looking amused.

He gave her a very bland look.  "No, that's the purpose of Nair."  She gaped.  He gave her a smug look.

"Kids, TMI," Tony complained.

"Don't you wax your chest, DiNozzo?" Gibbs taunted.

"I have a very beautiful woman who does it for me," he shot back with a look.

"Still won't date you?"

"Didn't ask, boss.  She's got four kids and a girlfriend."

Gibbs shook his head.  "Scared of the kids?"

"No.  They're nicer than her girlfriend."  Mac and Horatio both shook their heads.  "Sue me, I like beauty."

"Was Jethro prettier when he was younger?" Faith asked.  Jethro glared at her.

"It was his eyes."  Jethro smacked him.  "Even if I do sometimes feel like I'm in an S&M relationship with him thanks to all the smacking he does of me."  He glared at Jethro.  "Not at work now, boss.  Keep it up and I'm bringing McGee to wire my big screen tv up here.  Then I'll bring my porn for the kids."

"Whoo hoo," Faith said sarcastically.  "Anything I can't get going to the gay strip clubs?"

"Or busty lesbian cheerleaders?" Xander suggested.

"He has both," Gibbs said.

"How do you know that?" Mac asked.

"The last time I had a concussion he brought me home and snooped," Tony said dryly.

"You have both in your desk."

"The Wild Stallions DVD is Abby's birthday present, boss."

"Abby needs to see sweaty guys gyrating?"

"She wanted to see sweaty, built guys gyrating in tiny g-strings."

Gibbs shook his head.  "I never needed that stuff."

"You had three wives," Tony said dryly.  "Some of us have to talk people into bed, then into not trying to move in."

"Don't have that problem now," Abby said as she came out of the kitchen.  "You got me the Wild Stallions DVD?"

"Yeah, the last two.  They're in my desk so maybe McGee has them."

"He'd never steal them.  They're not his thing."  She gave him a hug.  Jethro smirked.  "If they wanted to bring up their porn, I wouldn't care."

"I would.  They have apartments for that stuff."  He looked at Faith, who gave him a clueless look.  "Don't even.  I know very well you remember being caught in *my* apartment, Faith."

"You wanted me to spawn."

He snorted.  "Nice try."  He looked at Xander.  "You two good?"

"Fine."

"Where is Dean?"

"Looking in the armory.  Picking on Sam.  Probably with their dad.  He just snuck out."

"That's fine."  Buffy and Willow were shown in.  "Did you get any information?"

"I got a whole lot," Buffy said, handing over her notes.  Jethro read it, frowning.  Tony handed him his glasses.  "My mom has those."

He looked at her.  "Eyesight isn't an age problem."  He put them on but her handwriting still sucked.  Or demons spelled things really funny.  "Mall demons?"

"Malle demons.  They're the ones who want Xander broken, begging, and willing to do anything to be a good doggy."

"Charming," Xander said.  "Not going to happen.  I'd die before begging or being a pet."  The demon on the floor moved so he kicked her back down then in the head. "Yours either.  I don't beg."

"That's going to suck for Dean," Faith teased.

Xander looked at her.  "What makes you think I'd bottom?"

"Um...  Good point.  Not one I want to think about though."  She shook her head, walking off to get a drink.

"Xander, we need information from her," Tony said.  "You and Buffy do your thing with Faith please?  In the garden so we don't have to hear it?"

"Sure," he said with an evil smirk.  He pulled her up and walked her out with Buffy following.  Faith followed with her bottle of water.

"Why not me?" Willow asked.

"Because Xander, Faith, and Buffy can be mean if the situation calls for it," Jethro said.  "You're much too nice for that, Willow."

"You want them to torture her?"

"No but she doesn't know that," Tony told her.

"Oh.  Okay."

Tony smiled.  "We're Feds."

"I'm going to avoid you guys all I can."

"Then quit hacking," Abby told her with a smirk.  "By the way, McGee said hi."

"Oops."

Abby gave her a hug.  "It's all right.  We do have to set up a computer here so want to help?"

"Sure.  I'm surprised they have this much technology here."  They walked off together.  She blushed at the cute guys watching them.  "Hi," she squeaked.

"That's Dean and Sam, Willow.  Dean was Xander's mate and Sam was Faith's snuggly thing."

"Xander said something about that."  She waved then fled with Abby.

Dean shook his head.  "I'm glad Xander's not that shy," Sam said.  "You'd never get close to him."

"We're working it out.  He's a very private guy.  I'll crack him down to the point where I don't get 'I'm fine' from him."

"No from the memories they've had it was always like that," Sam told him.  "You used to hold him down and check him for injuries whenever he said he was fine."

Dean walked off shaking his head.  He and Xander would start over and maybe this time it'd be better.  He went to where he could hear yelling, watching Buffy threaten the demon.  He snorted, walking out and moving her out of his way.  He pulled his gun, checking the clip before slamming it back in.  He cocked it, calmly removed the safety then pointed it at her chest.  "In your species your heart is lower and to the right.  So I'd about hit the edge of it.  I was just in the armory with the silver and pewter bullets."  She tried to move.  He shifted his aim.  "I can do this at least seven times until you die.  And if I switch my aim, I can do it all day.  We have a huge case of them.  And I still won't kill you."

"Dean," Buffy complained.

He looked at her.  Then back down.  "The ladies might complain but yay.  We are the guardians of this clan and you did try to take what's mine."

"Is this like the jealous streak?" Faith asked.

Dean shrugged.  "Haven't decided yet."  The demon whimpered.  He stared down at her.  "Did you have something you wanted to tell me?"

"Or me?" Xander asked, moving closer.  "Dean, if you aim about six inches up, you'll hit her stomach.  She live with a perforated stomach for *days* of horrible pain before she dies."

"Good to know."  He shifted his stance and where the gun was aimed.  "I need to know why you want my mate.  Just ask the girls, I'm very possessive of what's mine."

"You should hear how he babies his brother Sam," Faith added.  "He nearly tied him in a closet instead of letting him go on a date."

Dean looked at her.  "She was slimy.  He has better taste.  As shown by you."  She beamed at that.  He looked at the demon.  She was invisible.  Xander stomped and she came back with a gasp, holding the arm he had broken.  "Cute.  Really," he said dryly.  She sobbed and started to talk.  Buffy took notes.

Xander squatted down to look at her.  "That isn't everything, is it?" he asked.  She nodded frantically.  He pulled out the scythe and put it beside his foot.  "Are you sure?"  She wailed and shouted a few other facts.  He picked up his scythe then stood up, looking at Dean.  "What did the overlord want to do with her?"

"No clue," Dean admitted.  "Buffy, go hand that in and ask?"  She went to do that.  He looked at her.  "Let's see what Jethro wants."

Tony walked out and looked at her.  "Jethro said let her be a messenger.  They ever come back for less than asking for help protecting their children from a mass disease and you can finish it.  Am I clear?"  She nodded.  "Then leave."  She got up and ran out, holding her arm.  "Boys, calm down."

"I am."  He uncocked the gun and put the safety back on, then put it back into the back holster he was wearing.  "Nice bullets.  Silver and pewter."

"Good to know."   He let them back inside.  He walked them into the throne room.  Buffy was giving a report.  "They did good.  Scared the crap out of her."

"Good," Jethro agreed.

"Dean found silver and pewter bullets."

"Interesting.  We need to test them out."  He looked at Buffy, who looked squeamish.  "Those of us who aren't officers of some sort are hunters, Buffy.  Guns are part of their lives."

"I don't use guns.  They don't work and they're bad," she said.

"You used artillery," Xander said.

"Limited case," she shot back.

"We use shotguns," Sam told her.  "All the time."  She groaned.  "We each have our own methods, Buffy.  If you like stakes and crossbows, that's good for you.  We won't make you change."  She relaxed and smiled again.

Dean nodded.  "I'd rather have a long range weapon.  Means I hit less walls."

"Xander always hits gravestones," Buffy told him.  "Usually with his head."

"That happens when the things you hunt are stronger," Dean told her.  "Sammy hits a lot of walls too."  She nodded, understanding that.  "So now what, Jethro?"

"We still have to set up how to rule this place while we're in our normal lives.  I've got to make Abby and Danny decide which one's the official heir since there's no division between males and females."

"Danny can have it," Abby called.

"Gee thanks, but I've gotta work too," Danny said from his seat.

"I called not me first," Abby told him.

Danny glared.  "I do just as much work as you do."

"I'm the only lab tech our office has."

He grimaced.  "Poor girl.  I pull quads."

"Me too.  Do you like caf-pows?"

"Eeeh, I get too shaky."

"Kids," Mac ordered.

"Yes?" Xander and Faith asked.

"Not you two.  Those two."

"I said not me first so it should be his because of that.  And because he's older."

Danny moaned.  "I died here."

"So?  Buffy died but Xander brought her back."

"Leave me out of it.  I wouldn't like the responsibility," Buffy complained.  "Not to mention all the paperwork you guys do at work."

"I don't do much but I do a lot of lab tests," Danny told her.  "Reports at the end of the cases."

She shuddered.  "Eww, science.  Yuck."  She walked off shuddering.

Jethro smiled at that.  "Danny?"

"If I must," he sighed.

"We'll work it out so we can live mostly normal lives."  Jethro looked at Tony.  "We'll work out a rotating schedule?"

"With our cases coming at a moment's notice, boss?"

"If I have to, I can let you go for a few hours or head back to handle bigger things.  We can all rotate out to deal with things."  They all nodded.  "Danny, since I don't know, are you dating anyone?  That way I'm not blind-sided by something?"

"Not at the moment but there's one who's interested."

"Don't," Mac warned.

"I don't think I want to.  She annoys the crap outta me, Mac."

"Thank you."  He looked at Tony.  "One of the other techs."

"That's tough when you work with them.  If it goes that bad, someone has to transfer."

"We only wish," Danny said dryly.  Don nodded from his chair.  He looked at him.  "Montana hit on you too?"

"Not yet.  I don't want her to either.  She's annoying."

Stella snorted.  "She's got issues, Don, but it doesn't always impact her job."

"Yeah it does.  She's smug, she thinks she knows it all.  She's always picking on Danny.  Nags others.  I can't stand nagging women."

"Me either, that's why I got divorced," Gibbs said.  Someone walked in and bowed.  "Problems?"

"The quarry's problem has been solved and the reinforcements will go on as planned, Overlord."

"There was a problem?"

"A wall slid in," Mac told him.

"Okay.  No one was hurt?"  She shook her head.  "Good.  Let me know if there's going to be longer reaching problems or it's something I need to hear, like it'll hurt the security of the town."

"The wall reinforcements are one of the ones that shouldn't be delayed."

"Is it going to be as ugly as the garden?" Don asked.

"A few new layers, replacing some broken stones on the walls.  A few gargoyles."

"No," Gibbs said.

"They're already created, Overlord," she said hesitantly.

"We'll find somewhere for them," Xander assured her.  "Maybe the old temple?"

"We don't need gargoyles," Stella complained.

"Not that one.  The other one on the outside of the walls," Xander told her.  She beamed.  "It's scary, could use refurbished before it falls in on some kids exploring in it.  I used to.  Faith fell through a floor."

"You fell down six stories," Faith told him.

"I don't remember that," Mac said.

"That's because he limped back and went right into a bath then hid in his room from dinner saying he had a headache from the sunburn," she told him.

"That's what that meant," Jethro said, giving Xander a smug look.

Xander nodded.  "Yup."

"Good thing Dean pounced you to hold you down when he checked for injuries," Horatio said.

"If I have to keep doing that, I get to yell, right?" Dean asked.

"If we need protecting, I'm going to jump in," Xander told him, sticking his tongue out at him.  A new memory hit him and he groaned, holding his head.  "Never mind."  Dean tipped his face up.  "Just an old memory."

Dean patted him on the head.  "You'll get them back."

"I want to find out what the key is for mine like Faith's sword was for hers."

"Maybe it's because you were the key to all the rest," Tony said.

"Could be.  Still sucks.  The watchers have my other scythe so I can't see if it's that."

"It makes less sense that her sword was hers," Mac told him.  "Why the sword?"

"It was the present Stella gave me on my majority.  The same as his scythes were," Faith said.

"So maybe Stella has the key to Xander's remaining memories," Horatio said.  Speed walked in.  "Do we have any idea on Xander's missing memories?"

"Too many head injuries?  Or maybe we should ask a demon who can get in there to get his other scythe?"

"The watchers said it was too dangerous so it's in a special vault," Willow said.  "Which I guess makes no sense.  Unless they thought Xander getting it back was too dangerous."

"No," Xander said.  "I'm a good boy unless you attack.  They should give it back.  I should storm the building and beat it out of Travers."

"I'd like that," Buffy said from the hallway.  She leaned in.  "Really a whole lot."

Xander grinned.  "He has my scythe."

"They said it's a dangerous artifact."

"Is it possessed?"  She shook her head.  "Then it's my possession."  She grinned.  "Think we can find a demon to lift it for me?"

"Maybe.  I can ask Angel."  She walked off to make a note of that for herself.  She found Sam and grabbed his arm to walk him off so she could get to know him better.  He was going to be dating her sister slayer.  No matter how much she didn't get along with Faith, she should get to threaten him.

Dean glanced out then at Faith.  "Buffy stole Sammy."

She got up to find Buffy before she could dent Sam on her.

Xander grinned.  "That was nice of you."

"She'll scare Sammy.  It'll take me weeks to get him straightened out again."  He sat beside Xander.  "Stella?"  She looked up from reading.  "Is there a way to see if you're the key to Xander's memories?"

"Not that I know of.  Ducky might but he's not here."

Tony pulled out his cellphone.  "Roaming," he said with a wince.

"I doubt our nationwide service is carried in another realm, DiNozzo."

Tony dialed anyway.  "Ducky, Tony.  It's going good.  I'll tell him.  Boss, Ducky said the director's worried sick about this assignment."

"We'll be back soon."

"He said we'll be back soon.  Listen, small issue.  Xander, the young, dark haired smartass.  Yes, him.  He can't get all his memories back for some reason.  Faith got hers with her sword.  They were twins but Xander's still blocked.  We think for some reason Stella might be the key but she's not sure how.  Sure, but I'm roaming."  He tossed the phone to Stella, who walked off to talk to him about priestly stuff.  She came back to hold Xander's head and chant.  Nothing.

"Hold on, let me try Dean's," she said, doing that.  Dean yelped then moaned, holding his own head.  "Dean's is back.  Dean, kiss Xander?"

Dean pulled Xander over to kiss him.  Nothing.  Not even a moan from him.  He took Xander to the armory for some privacy and mugged him in there against a wall.  Xander moaned that time but still no sign of new memories.  "Do I have to pull you down and have you here?" he asked.

Stella walked in.  "We think Faith got hers back because of the special sword she had blessed to be hers and Sam being there.  I got Sam unblocked and Faith's more comfortable.  Anything, Xander?"

"Not yet."  He calmed himself then looked around.  "Willow?"  She came jogging in.  "Take any and all spells off me.  Please?"

"Sure, Xander."  She got to work removing all the protections she had cast on Xander.  "There, that should help."  Someone came running in and sat Xander down.  "I didn't mess up," she protested.

"He's very sensitive to magic.  We had to crack his egg with it because they couldn't get the twins out."

"Twins come from the same egg?" Willow asked.

"Only special ones.  Which is why the priests all tested those two.  They were late so we had to crack the shell with magic.  That's why he's so sensitive," Stella told her.

"Is that why every single spell in existence goes wrong around him?"

"No, that's more him being reborn on the hellmouth," the healer said.  "Plus the fact he might've been with egg when the curse hit."

"I was," Dean said.  "Doesn't hamper me."

"They wanted him out of the way worse," Stella pointed out.  "Plus you've never been to a hellmouth."

"Good point I guess.  Are we removing it?  We're trying to free the rest of his memories."

The guard nodded, going back to what he had been doing.  He smiled at the answer he got.  "There is a cure."  He did something and Xander passed out.  "Take him, bed him, and once you've rejoined it will be there," he told Dean.  Dean blushed.  "That and his scythes will reawaken them."

"He only has one.  The Watchers have the other one."

"We're fixing that.  Take him to his room.  Let him rest.  We'll make sure you get dinner."  He stood up.

"I have no idea how to do that," Dean hissed.

Stella pulled him closer.  "Like you would with a really tight woman, Dean," she said in his ear.  "Lube it, stretch it with your fingers, go slowly and give him some time to adjust once you move in.  Like with any virgin he'll be really tight and really sore later on.  The slower you go at first the less he'll hurt later."  He nodded at that.  "Then baby the boy.  I'm sure you remember doing that."

"Yeah, I do.  He wasn't... when we got together."

"Then you were both breeders.  You had natural slickness."   She patted him on the back.  "Go steal some snacks and drinks."  He jogged off to do that.  She and the guard got Xander to their room.  Willow followed and tidied up by magic for them.  Then she smiled and lit the candles when Dean came in.

"We're guys, Willow.  Candles are for girls and those who like playing with the hot wax."  She gave him a horrified look.  "Probably not this time."

"It makes it nicer and if it's darker he won't freak as much."  She walked off.  "He'll be okay.  The guards have someone getting his other scythe."  Buffy smiled. "But they won't be out until tomorrow."

"Sure, we can go back to the rooming house, maybe do some sightseeing," Buffy said.  "It's a lot more light today than it was yesterday.  Thank you for humoring us checking on our friends, Jethro."

"Welcome, girls.  Have a good night."   He smiled as they left.  "They don't seem too bad."

"They aren't always," Faith said.  "Just now and then they turn spoiled."  Sam walked in. "Dean's going to be tied up or something all night."

"Tied up?"

"Xan can be a bit kinky now and then.  He tried to get me onto my back."  He smiled at that.  "Stella and one of the guards was helping him with his memory block."  One guard walked in and knelt in front of Jethro with a pillow held up.  She got up to look, running a finger over the spiked end. "He's missed you, baby."  She frowned, touching it again.  "I'll be damned, it's tied to slayers."

The guard looked up at her.  "It's what calls the next one."

"That probably explains why he was so adamant to help the slayers," Jethro said.  "He's in his room with his mate."  The guard nodded, taking it that way.  "Thank you.  You and the one that helped him deserve a reward."

"Sire, may I marry my sweetheart?"

"Why would I mind that?"

"You don't seem too thrilled with the institution of marriage anymore."  Tony snickered. "And it's something the last one forbid without giving permission."

"Marriage isn't for everyone but if you want it, go for it."

He beamed and carried it back there.  The one with the magic tested it.  He got a nod.   "The overlord said we deserve a reward."

"I'll throw you a party when she finally agrees.  I'll figure out mine."  He took the pillow, carrying it inside.  He knelt beside the bed.

"Tell the guard thank you.  Xander will probably try to hug him tomorrow."

"I will."  He left.  "He'll hug you tomorrow."

"That's fine.  I'm told he hugs very nicely."  They smiled at the squeal.  Yes, he was a happy boy.  They left them alone, putting a guard in the hallway so on one and nothing would interrupt them except for a food delivery later on.

***

Xander came out the next morning much calmer.  Sore, but calmer.  He went to breakfast, nodding at everyone.  His scythes were on his belt.  "Morning."

"You better?" Faith asked.

"I'm good.  Thank you for letting me out of dinner last night."

"It was more important to make them all come back," Mac said, handing Xander the bowl of scrambled eggs.  The boy smiled, dishing himself up some.  "Dean still asleep?"

"He woke up earlier.   He didn't want to cuddle when he woke up so I got up once he was back asleep."  He took the toast and jelly then the coffee.  He dug in.  One of the guards came in so he gave him a hug.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  The one who got your scythe for you is the one on the gateway.  There's a few people coming up, overlord."

"Let me have some more coffee unless it's an emergency."

"Yes, sir."  He went to tell them that.  "He's drinking his morning coffee," he told the one in the lead.

"I have heard how important that is to him.  We needed to see Sam actually."

Sam leaned out of the kitchen.  "Give me thirty minutes to grab stuff from the library and finish my own coffee."  They nodded.  He gulped his food then went to the library with them to show them the plans he had found for them.  Plus all the agricultural information he could about greenhouses and hydroponic growing.  The farmers were more than happy to read with each other.  They had already picked out spaces for the greenhouses.  He showed them the building's plans he had found and they liked it.

Abby bounced in and looked.  "The local sunlight has a slightly purplish hue.  Instead of using green glass I might use clear."  They smiled and nodded.  "Just plain glass, not the glass blocks like you use in bathrooms."

"Of course," one agreed.  She beamed and bounced out.  "She makes a good heir."

"She does," Sam agreed. "She's also very happy.  Danny's helpful too if something needs to be decided."

"We know he was Jeris before but we're not sure if he's able to do the work.  He died before we could be sure."

"Abby was barely hatched," he countered.  That got a nod.  "They're both very good and in the same job back on earth.  They're both forensic scientists but Danny also does field work to find out who committed each crime."

"Interesting," one said.  "We'll deal with whatever the overlord decides."

"We're working on the plan right now."  They smiled and went over the crop yield per foot again.  Grains might not work so well but all the other things would.  They might get less yield in the winter but it'd still be fresh food.  They took the information after layering on thanks.  They had to talk to the other farmers.  It'd be a bit expensive to start but they may be able to set up a working trial one cheaply enough. Sam went back to the throne room.  "They subtly asked about Abby and Danny.  I told them we're working on the plan.  They took what I found to look at.  They're talking about setting up a trial greenhouse at first."

"That makes sense.  Make sure the local sunlight can get through glass," Jethro agreed.  Abby beamed.  "Why are they concerned?"

"Danny died before he was known about as a leader.  I pointed out Abby was barely out of the shell."

Jethro nodded.  "That works."  He sighed, shifting again.  "We've got to get this settled so we can get back to work.  Our director's throwing a fit."

"I called mine and he wasn't happy but he asked me outright if I was the same Horatio," he said from his seat.  "He said he heard we're doing a good job.  He's talking to your boss, Mac, but he said your boss knows as well."

"Charming," Don said dryly.  "We weren't sure Gerrard wasn't one of the ones after the bounty on our head."

"I always thought Sid might come from somewhere else," Danny said.  "He tells stories, he's a bit creepy."

"Sounds like a different version of Ducky," Tony said.  "I think it's all ME's."

"Peyton's all right.  Hawkes was good as an ME," Mac told him.

"Hawkes has an abnormal brain," Danny countered.  "No one's that smart without being a bit strange."  That got a nod.  "Peyton...  I know you like her, Mac, but she's kinda...whiny to some of us.  I heard a few of the lab gremlins say the same thing."

"Was Adam going off on females again?" Stella asked.

"Not you.  Her and Montana.  Not Jane in DNA, not any of the others.  Just those two."

She nodded.  "I can agree, Peyton can be a bit pouty and girlish to be an ME.  Mon...Lindsay is a problem waiting to happen now and then.  If she doesn't handle her problems soon."

"She has a reason," Mac said patiently.

"That's great," Danny agreed.  "You yelled at me when I had problems."  He and Mac stared at each other.  "If you had found out she was related to Tanglewood, would you have cut her the same sorta slack?"

"Yours came up on a case."

"You asked."

"I know.  I handled that in a way that wasn't the best ever, Danny.  I'm sorry about that."

"It's a fair question, Mac.  If you found Lindsay had that sort of background, would you deal with her?" Stella asked.

"Or would you kick her out like half the city wanted you to do to Danny?" Don finished.  "I ended up hitting a few," he said when Mac stared at him.  "More than a few.  Danny's a good CSI.  Then you seemed to abandon him."

"Hell," he muttered.

"Basically," Stella agreed. "If she had those sort of problems, would you do the same thing?"

"Probably not," Mac admitted.  "She's new and insecure."

"She had how long at her first lab?" Don asked.  Mac gaped.  "You had Danny basically on his own long before she got to the same time in.  Even with mentoring, as you called it, he was handling high profile stuff by then.  She's not.  You hardly let her work alone."

"I didn't realize I didn't have her work alone that often."  Stella shook her head.  "Did I do that to you, Stella?"

"No.  Danny, Aiden, and I all had to prove ourselves on a case after six months.  Hawkes already has.  People are wondering if she's capable and going to be given the same sort of sink or swim test."

"I'll handle that when I get back.  How is Hawkes handling things?"

"Not too bad.  A bit overloaded but they borrowed from non-felony.  Hawkes did complain it's been so long.  He said he wasn't going to let Lindsay out in the field if we didn't come back soon."

"Within a month," Jethro said. "We need to find a way to set up a passageway to here in our houses or somewhere close to us."  They all nodded.  "Then set up a rotating schedule or find a way for someone to call us."

"They have cellphones and email," Tony said. "I need to upgrade my service so I'm not roaming here."  Stella nodded at that.  "Do we want to do it weekly?"

"That'd work," Gibbs said.

Xander coughed.  "I have to go back for a fight at graduation."

"Are you going to go to college?" Tony asked.  Xander shook his head.  "You sure?"

"Very.  I can't stand school.  I might do vocational school.  I might just start work, but I can do my GED already.   I passed a test of it last year if I wanted to accept it.  Willow had me take it to show me I wasn't stupid."

"Don't they have to report that to the state?" Jethro asked.

"Not in Sunnydale.  Sunnydale's a bit...bad about things like that.  If you look at our high school, we can't pass Alabama's ninth grade tests in your senior year."

"Charming," Stella said dryly.

"It's there to give us something to do," he countered. "Not to educate us.  We get a few people who go to college outside of town but hardly any.  Including Buffy we think.  Probably Willow too."

Jethro shook his head.  "Someone needs to fix that."

"The mayor's had control of the town for over a hundred years," Xander told him.  "It was his idea."

"Maybe after he's defeated, things will change," Don said.

Xander looked at him.  "Even if you kill a vampire in front of them, or you save them from one, people will not remember.  Even if you talk to them about it a week later, they won't remember."

Don shook his head.  "We need to do something about that."

"If we were in Sunnydale, I'd have fixed it already," Jethro said.  "If we can pull Sunnydale here, I'll fix it."

"We keep stopping the people who want to pull earth into hell," Xander said dryly.  "If you can find a way to do that, we won't stop it.  Cordy might like to come up here."  Dean walked in and stared at him.  "You told me to quit cuddling."

"Didn't mean you had to abandon me."

"You told me to quit cuddling and I naturally cuddle."

"Uh-huh.  Cordy?"

"My ex, Cordelia?  She'd love to be up here.  No slime, the demons are polite and smart.  Whole new people to make follow her fashion advice."

"She wouldn't recognize the shirt you're wearing," Faith told him.

He looked at his current shirt.  "I think I poached clothes.  Sorry."

"I know you poached clothes, dude.  I don't mind."  He settled in beside Xander.  Xander handed down his soda.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  I didn't mean to flee, just give you some space."

"I thought someone might've taken you again."  Xander leaned down to kiss him on the head.  "Aww, mush," he complained.

"Sue me, I hung out with Willow and Buffy for the last few years.  I know more about girl stuff than I ever wanted to."  Faith cackled.

Dean looked at him.  "I don't need mush.  Less mush, more pouncing and weapons."

"Want to pet my scythes?" he teased with a wicked smirk.

"Later I'll help you sharpen them.  Dad wanted to see them."

"Okay."  Someone came in.  "It's the FBI elves."  Dean groaned, shaking his head.  "They're elves in the FBI and one wants to bomb Sunnydale.  Maybe we can do that for gradation."

Don Epps stared at him.  "Graduation?"

"The mayor's going to turn into a higher demon around then.  Willow thinks it'll be at graduation.  Lots and lots of food sources for the newly huge demon snake."

"Are they here?"

"Somewhere in town."

Don Epps nodded.  "I'll get with Miss Summers later."  He looked at Jethro.  "Our king is extending the invitation to come see his new horses and grandchild for you and your ...Tony.  He said spouse but ...."

Jethro nodded.  "We're planning on going home soon.  Finding a way to set up a direct portal or however to get here from each of the cities.  Then rotate out who takes problems or if they call me directly."

"He's going to be highly insulted if you don't take it up," Don warned.

"It'd be a short one.  Maybe a weekend," Jethro said.  He smiled at that.  "Yes, I remember the last time I said that.  Right now our director is throwing tantrums."

"You have *no* idea.  She's called her contacts in my agency and the CIA to find your team."

"Next weekend.  Only for a weekend."

"I'll have Charlie come get you."  He bowed.  "Thanks, Gibbs."

"Welcome," Tony said.  "Formal clothes or just good clothes?"

"Formal for some things, good for others.  No ball this time."

"Thank God," Jethro said.  Don Epps laughed.  "Just me and Tony?"

"He'd be insulted if you brought guards.  You might get away with Abby or Danny, possibly Stella.  You can see how well the others do while you're out of touch.  Cellphones don't work in our realm."

"Sure," Tony agreed.  "Is there a cellphone plan that reaches up here and down there?"

"I can get you info on it."  He smiled at the kids.  "He's still scared of you two.  Especially Xander."

"Why?  Is he sending vampires to Sunnydale?" Xander asked with a grin.

"I hope not."

"Then he shouldn't be scared of me.  Unless he wants to kidnap and own me too?"  Dean growled.  He looked down.  "Isn't that my line?" he teased with a grin.

"I'm not licking anything."

"Yet?" Xander asked.

"We'll see."  Xander grinned and looked at their visitor.  "We still have to work out the hunting stuff.  Dad said we won't all fit in the car."

Xander reached down to smooth some of the hair.  "I need to be there for graduation and the planning."

"Then we'll work it out later," Dean promised.  He looked at Faith, who shrugged. "Sammy?"

"Library."

"Need help dragging him out?"

"Nah, I've got it."  She'd keep quiet about Sam's future plans.  They might not work anymore.  Don Epps looked at her.  "I can."

"I know you can.  There is the option that our realm has a branch of Oxford and Stanford."

"Way high class colleges," Xander said.

"Yeah, we gotta hunt," Dean told him.

Epps nodded at that.  "The offer's open to Xander as well, Dean.  As long as he can get his GED or graduate."

"GED," Xander said.  "I passed it last year thanks to Willow.  It wasn't filed."

Don moaned.  "That could help."  He looked at Jethro again.  "Thursday or Friday?"

"Friday.  Thursday we have merchants coming in to talk about the marketplace reopening."

"I'll let him know so he can greet you," Don said.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Tell him thank you for me."

"I will."  He left, going to tell his master that then head back to work.  He had a few open cases on his desk he needed to finish.  He bowed to his princess and king.  "He said he'd be here Friday for a weekend only.  He has to get back to work sometime soon.  He and Tony both; I told him he could bring Abby or Danny, maybe get away with Stella, but I did tell him that you were uneasy with the twins."

"Thank you.  Not Thursday?"

"He has merchants coming to talk about the marketplace that's presently closed."

"Understandable.  He has a lot of work to do."

"He's looking to set up a direct link back from each major city.  They're talking about a rotating schedule of who takes problem calls.  DiNozzo needs info on the plan that'll extend their cells up there without roaming costs.  Xander has both his scythes back and he was teasing Dean.  They're talking about graduation having an issue with their mayor."  His king groaned, shaking his head.  "Faith was there but she didn't say anything about college plans either."

"Good to know.  She'll tell Sam I'm sure."

"Dean seems to think he'll keep hunting."

His king nodded.  "They'll handle that fight.  Anything else?"

"Their director is causing problems.  Anything we can do to help with that?"

"I've passed it back to the ones in the CIA."

"Thank you.  Anything else or can I get back to the smuggling ring on my desk?"

"Go for it.  I'll call if we need you this weekend."

"My team has call.  Take Charlie, the college has a formal dance."  He disappeared, coming out of the special closet at work.  He straightened himself out, hiding his ears again on his way to the desk.

"That was a long bathroom break," Megan complained.  "Need some medicine, Don?  I have some in my drawer."

"I got caught up with a call from someone asking for help in another agency."  He sat down.  "Charlie might be gone this weekend."

David looked over, then flicked his ear.  Don nodded. "Things all right?" David asked.  In case he had to tell someone like Granger, who knew but didn't *know*.

"Fine.  Just a call for assistance.  Anything on the NCIS director going spastic?"

"She called our boss looking for Charlie," Megan said dryly.  Don moaned, sending Charlie an email.  Then he sent one to his Lord and Master's email account.  He could handle her better since he was stationed on that coast.  Then he got back to work on the smuggling case.  "Did we find anything new?"

"Colby isn't back yet," David said.  "He's still changing the flat tire."

"That's fine."  He got back to work.  He could worry about insane directors later on.

***

Jethro stepped out of the portal with Tony behind him.  "Thanks, Charlie."

"Welcome," he said.  He pulled Tony further out so he could close it.  "No heir?"

"Abby nearly got mobbed by people who want to marry her.  She's hiding.  Danny and Don are watching a basketball game with some of the kids in town."

"That's cool," he said, waving a hand.  "This way if you don't mind."  He handed the bags off before walking them off.  He nodded at the herald.

"Overlord Jethro and his first spouse, Tony."

"Senior agent," Tony corrected.  "We can't be together at NCIS."

"Especially not with your director," Fornell agreed.  "What a bitch."

Gibbs nodded.  "She can be."  He walked in, shaking his hand.  "How's DC?"

"Calm.  No cowering coffee shop boys or girls.  Not too many bad cases.  McGee is sweating.  Kate's back from injury leave.  The new girl is a pain in the ass, Jethro."

"Uncle Jethro!" Fornell's daughter yelled, coming out to pounce him.  "Hi!"

"Hi, sweetheart."  He grinned.  "Are you having a good day?"

"Of course I am."  She walked him off by the wrist.  "Come see my new horse."

"Sure, Emily," Fornell said, smiling at her.  "She's a joy to my life."

"Abby started to call me mom."  Fornell smirked at him.  "How bad is she?"

"She's going to invade somewhere soon."

"We'll be going back in two weeks."

"I'll spread that around.  That you're on the arrest and report portion of the case."  Tony grinned.  "Want to see the horses?"

"Sure."  He followed him, smiling at the horse Emily was petting.  "She's a huge horse, Emily."

She spit at him.  "Manners," Fornell ordered.

"Yes, daddy.  Sorry, Aunt Tony."  Tony groaned, shaking his head.

Gibbs smirked.  "How's Kate handling being in command?"

"The new director won't let her.  She put them on cold cases."

"That'll end when we get back."

"You might want to have a good excuse waiting."

"I'll let DiNozzo make one up."  He petted the horse's nose.  "She's pretty, Emily."  She beamed at him, taking him to look at the horses they had at the castle.

Tony looked at the king of the FBI fairies.  "What has she decided we're doing?"

"It's all speculation outside of it being case related."

"That'll work. I can make up something even Kate'll believe."  He followed.  He liked horses.  Fornell smirked at his back but walked of too.  "Fornell, what's for dinner?" he called as he walked.

"Food.  Feel lucky it's not honey dust and worms."

Tony looked back at him.  "The boss didn't like honey dust when I sent him some."  Fornell gaped.  Tony headed into the barn too.  The horses loved him.

***

Dean and Xander looked at each other.  "I'm going back to Sunnydale.  Where are you guys heading?"

"Probably the midwest.  We tend to stay that way.  We'll be in Sunnydale as soon as we can.  I've got your cell number and I'll be calling."

Xander smiled.  "Sure.  We go on patrol most every night."

Dean nodded.  "I can understand that.  What about living quarters?"

"If I have to, I'll go rob vamps for motel money."  He took a kiss.  "Be safe.  No getting banged up."

"You either.  Or getting vamped."  He took a hard, fast kiss then backed up.  "Be safe."

"You too."  They headed through the different mirrors.  Xander stepped out into Sunnydale at night.  Faith followed after a short screaming match.  "You good?"

"His father just found out he's going to college."

"It'll work itself out," he reminded her.  "If worst comes to worse, the elves have a branch of Oxford and Stanford."

"He's full ride, Xan.  Wants to hit law school."

"Good for him.  Plenty of us probably need one."  She grinned.  "C'mon, let's see where I'm parking my ass tonight."

"Sure.  Library?"

"That'll work."  They walked off, their weapons hidden on them.  They ran into Angel first.  "Hey," Xander said, startling him.  "Morning."

"For him," Faith agreed.

Angel gaped.  "Where were you?"

"In the realm our clan runs.  Buffy didn't tell you?"

"No."  He sniffed.  "Demons?"

"Yeah.  They had us reborn so they could hunt us down."  He put his arm around Faith's shoulders.  "We used to be twins."

Angel shuddered.  "I don't want that sort of thought."

"B and Red?" Faith asked.  "Or Tweedy?"

"Library.  They're heading for patrol soon."  They nodded, walking that way.  He watched, following as stealthily as he could.  He saw a few demons see them and run.  One bowed then ran.  He was confused but Buffy would tell him when he asked.

"Angel, you're scaring them," Xander called back without looking back.  "How're we supposed to stake vamps with you scaring them?"

"It's not me, Harris."

"Apparently we're Taylors," Faith said with a smirk for Xander.

"Works for me."  They saw the school and paused then walked in through the hidden door in the library.  "We're back!"

Giles jumped, looking at them.  "Xander!  Faith!"  He ran up to hug them both.  "Are you both all right?"

"We're good," Faith assured him.  "B, Red, Cheerleader."

"What are you wearing?" Cordelia demanded in a near whine.

Xander looked at himself then at her.  "What?  It fits, it's coordinated, it's comfortable for hunting."

"The wristbands are gay," she said dryly.

He kissed her on the head.  "You should meet Dean.  He's a demon hunter and a wonderful man."

She gaped.  "Uh-uh."  She shook her head.  "Okay, so, we're gay now?"

"Apparently we were in our last life.  We got sent here so they could hunt us down."

"Oh," she said weakly.  "I need some processing time."

"Sure, have it, see us tomorrow," Xander teased.  "I've got to decide about school or not."

"The principal is *way* against you coming back."

"He can blow me," Xander told her.  He looked at Giles.  "What are we doing?"

"We're doing what we can, Xander.  It's nearly Easter."

"Cordy, who's speaking at grad?"

"The mayor."

"Do we have the plans yet?"

"One week."

He looked at her.  "Where?"

"Courtyard."

Xander sketched it out then handed it to her.  "Arrange it that way if you can."  She nodded, tucking it into her purse.  He kissed her on the head.  "Wanna go talk?"

"Need to talk about Dean?"

"Well, he is a furnace at night when he lets me cuddle."  She squeaked.  He grinned.  "Ask them, he's cute."

"He's very cute, and so is Sam," Buffy agreed.  "Faith's lucky.  Sam's a great guy with a huge brain.  Huger than Oz's.  He's a gigantically tall, sweet guy who makes her squeal really loudly."

"Without dropping his drawers," Faith said.  Cordelia gaped.  "Dean's his big brother."

"We should talk.  I need to meet this guy," Cordelia decided.  "At least you dumped me for a good reason."  She gathered her things so they could talk in the school's lounge.  Xander got them both sodas and settled in on one of the uncomfortable couches with her.

***

Dean stepped out and looked at his father.  "If you're going to fight, I'm staying out of it."  He walked off, going to pet the car.  "We missed you, baby.  You look good."

John stared at his son.  "We hunt.  You hunt up there."

"I want a bit of normal and I can back Faith up while she hunts.  A Watcher researches for her.  I can do both."

"This is not the Winchester way."

"It's the Sam Winchester way."  He stared at him.  "I'm sorry if you're disappointed, but it's my life, Dad."

"You walk off and you don't come back."

Sam stared at him.  "Then I'm sorry you're losing me.  That's your choice."  He grabbed his bags and walked off.  Faith would put him up.  He could go back to the town he was finishing high school in then go to Stanford.  With a stop in Sunnydale.

"Sammy," Dean said.

"Write if you want, Dean.  Call if you want.  That's up to you and Dad.  I'm doing what's best for me.  I'll make sure Faith never has to steal anything ever again when she needs it."  He hiked off to the bus station.

Dean glared at his father.  "Are you really kicking him out of the family for planning how to support his future wife?  Would Mom like that?  He's trying to do the honorable thing."

John groaned.  "We need to get that demon."

"You know what?  If the demon doesn't know that we're *that* Dean and Sam, he will be soon and he'd better be damned scared.  Faith and Xander both said they'd help.  If a slayer can't get a demon, it can't be gotten."

John nodded.  "I can see that, but he's throwing us away."

Dean glared at him.  "Who told him to leave?  Sam's just like you, Dad.  You're both too stubborn for your own damn good.  Now, go get my brother before he's kidnaped and Faith has to come save him.  They don't need the distraction right now."

John took the keys out and headed to find Sam.  His son wasn't on the road on the way there so he waited at the bus station for him.  It gave him a long time to think about his stubbornness and what was best for his younger son's destiny and life.  He was all but married to Faith, had a family of his own to take care of now.  That had to be handled because no man left his family.  Especially not a Winchester.  When he got there he moved into the light.  "Son, can we talk?"

"It won't change my mind.  I've got a full ride scholarship.  I'll be setting up a place for me and Faith.  I won't make her steal anything ever again so she has what she needs."

"I respect that, son.  She'll still need you to hunt with her.  That's not the normal life you think you want, Sam.  That's still some hunting."

"It'll be more research and helping her up there.  We can pick a town and set down roots, Dad.   Have a real place where we don't have to pack and move every few weeks."

John nodded.  "I understand that, son."

"I don't even get why you two hunt, Dad."

"Because they killed your mother."

"I don't remember Mom."  He moved closer.  "I've never been the hunter Dean has been.  I never will be.  I'm not Dean Junior, Dad."

John nodded.  "I agree.  You're not Dean.  You're not the motivated hunter Dean and I are."

"You've pushed me to be that way for years."

"I'm sorry, Sammy."

Sam nodded.  "Thank you.  I'm still going to Stanford."

"Is Faith going to join you?"

"After grad.  I only have some final exams then I might be heading that way.  It's only a few hours away."  John dug out a set of keys.  "What's this to?"

"Xander's car.  Ducky gave them to me so I could put it into storage."

"That could help."

"You'll call?"

"If you want me to."

"Dean and I would like that."

"Dean's going to end up with Xander and sometime they'll want to retire too."

"Xander will go up to guard the court.  He'll teach future generations."  He moved closer, clapping Sam's shoulder.  "Be safe, son."

"Thanks, Dad."  He gave him a hug.  "Where's the car?"

"Storage place on the east side of town.  I'll give you a ride."  Sam nodded, taking his bags to the Impala.  John dropped him off.  His license was in the glove box.  So were a few fake ID's.  He took them with a wave, getting a nod.  John pointed so he got out and took his stuff to Xander's car.  It could only help him get to Sunnydale in time for graduation.

John watched his younger son go.  He was going to be depressed about this soon.  He went to pick up Dean, letting him pet the car for a few minutes.  Maybe it was time he gave the Impala to Dean and moved on a little bit.  It was Dean's home.  "He has Xander's car."

"That could help."

"He'll be heading out for graduation."

"So am I if we can.  They'll need us."

"If we can," John agreed, heading for the motel.  Dean needed to shower off someone's aftershave.  "Who stunk you up?"

"Stella."

"She smells good then."  Dean snorted.  "She does, just a bit strong."  Dean rolled down the window.  John did too.  It was better if the car didn't smell like Stella.

***

Horatio walked into his office and put his sunglasses down on his desk.  He felt someone behind him.  "Rick.  How was Miami?"

"Where were you?" he demanded.

Horatio looked at him.  "On a case."

"I'm sure.  Some strange, young guy shows up on a scene and you take off?"

"He is related to a friend and needed help with a very bad situation that included a minor slavery ring and a lack of justice for many people."

"That isn't good enough."

Speed walked in.  "Last time I knew you weren't the police commissioner, Stetler.  He knew where we were.  If you didn't, you didn't need to know."  Stetler glared at him.  "You're not in charge of us taking leave time.  Get out of the lab."

"I will find out," he warned.  He stomped off.

"Can we sic Xander on him?" Speed joked.

Horatio smirked.  "Don't tempt me."  Speed laughed.  "How were things after you got back?"

"Eric was going nuts.  Calleigh is trying to figure out what was going on but oh well.  The commissioner asked me what was going on up there.  I gave him a good sit rep.  He thinks the twins sound neat."

"They are.  Very protective too."  He smiled.  "Let us go reassure some of the people in the lab.  I'll call him soon."

"He said he'd see you the day you got back."  Horatio nodded.  They walked down there together.   "Should I announce you?"

"I don't need a herald, Speed.  Pity the realm if I do."  Speed nodded, giggling.

Eric looked out.  "H!"  He ran out to check him over.  "What happened?"

"We had to handle a very bad situation, Eric.  I had to go.  I'm sorry I worried you and Calleigh."

"It wasn't just us.  Calleigh!" he yelled, paging her at the same time.  She came out of her lab with a yawn.  "Look who's back."

"Horatio."  She gave him a smile and a hug.  "Is it solved?"

"I'll need to check in now and then but probably not a long trip like that one was."  He gave her a squeeze before letting her go.  "How was the lab?"

"Good," Calleigh said.  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Does Alexx know you're back?"

"Yup," Speed said.

"Good."  The commissioner walked in.  "He's back."

"I can see that.  May I, Officers?"  They let him walk Horatio off.  "It's settled?"

"We've got portals set up and a rotating schedule of how to handle bigger problems," he said quietly.  "It is mostly running like it used to.  The gardens still need work.  Xander had to come back for an apocalypse."

"Xander?"

"Harris, out of Sunnydale."  He shuddered.  "One of the twins.  Faith is the other and a slayer."

"Wonderful."  He looked at him.  "The director at NCIS is trying to start trouble."

"Tony was in a bad mood and asked Faith about things that might eat her."  His boss laughed.  "I do have a problem with Rick Stetler coming in and demanding to know where I was."

"The cover story holds, Horatio.  You needed to be there.  Let me know personally if you have to leave again."

"I was surprised that our cellphones and email work up there, sir."

"That is amusing."

"There's a good service that would include the realm so I'm not roaming."

"Good."  He patted him on the arm.  "Let me know if you need more time."

"I will."

"Good."

"Might I convince you to hire another level one?"

"You just got one.  Speedle picked him.  He's a bit uptight but he's been worn down some so far."  He smirked.  "I'll talk with Stetler."  He left, going to talk to the Internal Affairs officer.

Horatio looked at them.  "If I had food I'd offer dinner so I could meet my new CSI."

"You have food, H.  Alexx and I stocked your pantry."

"We can pick up food on the way," Eric said.  "Did you bring back pictures?"

"Not really.  I didn't have a lot of free time.  We did have to do some cleaning duties and a few hours in the garden pulling dangerous plants.  One tried to eat me."  Calleigh gaped.  He smirked.  "Fine, we'll have dinner.  Get my new tech there."  They nodded.  "I'll see you in a few hours.  Let me scare Yelina and Frank."  He went to get his sunglasses then to find them.  He found Frank and Yelina at their desks.  He leaned on the barrier to Frank's cubicle.  "Frank."

Frank's head popped up.  "Horatio?"   He nodded.  "When did you get back?"

"Thirty minutes ago.  We're having dinner tonight at my place so I can meet my new tech."  He let Yelina hug him.  "I may have to go now and then but not for good."  He smirked at Frank.  "You missed the plant that not even bullets would kill when it tried to eat us."

"Wonderful.  Glad I did."  He smiled.  "When?"

"Within an hour?"

"I can be there.  It'll save me from some paperwork on my last case for the night."

Yelina smiled.  "Are you all right?"

"We're fine."  He smiled at her.  "Come for dinner, Yelina.  Bring my nephew."  He smoothed her hair down.  She let him go, going back to her desk.  "I'll see you then."  He left, going to check his voicemail.  Mac had the first week of call but some people liked to talk to him more than Mac.  They thought him too stiff.  Now he had to get through dinner with the lab and detectives they favored while not answering too many questions.

***

Jethro walked into the NCIS office, Abby and Tony behind him.  "Director in?" he asked as he ran his pass through the metal detector.

"In her office as far as I know, Special Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs nodded.  "Thanks."  He headed up in the elevator.  Abby and Tony got on with him.  "Ready for this?"

"No," Abby said. "But I'll manage."

"Me too, boss.  And hey, we can go work for Fornell.  It'll please him to no end."

"Maybe not," Abby said. "But it'd be fun."  They got off on the director's floor and walked in.  "Hi, Cynthia."

"Abby, Tony, and Agent Gibbs."  The director flung her door open.  "I don't even have to announce you.  Go ahead."

Jethro walked in and headed for the coffee maker.  "Jen."

"Jethro.  Where were you?"

"On a classified case," he said.  He turned to look at her.  "They did thank you for letting us go."

"Who?"

"I can't tell you that, Jen."

"You can and will or I can fire you."

"Then do it."  He sipped the coffee he had poached.  "They needed us.  They asked for us."

"Who was the man you met that night you left?"

"Xander.  He's the son of a friend.  Another Marine.  He was the messenger."

"He's a neat guy," Abby said.  "Very cute and nice.  Unless you threaten him then he turns into a bastard worse than Gibbs."

"He can be," Tony said.  The director glared at him.  "I have the feeling his twin is just as bad when she needs to be."

"How did you meet this person?" she demanded.

"His father's a friend.  He found a case that needed to be handled quietly and with competence.  It was bad enough that we ended up bringing down a pseudo ruler that was imprisoning people for no reason."

She looked at them.  "Were Marines or Sailors involved?"

"Some."  That reminded him he had to finish setting up the future military goals along the lines of the Marines he had trained with.

"Doing?"

"Running a resistance," Jethro said.  She growled.  "It was necessary.  There were over eighty people in the prisons that weren't supposed to be there.  It was a dictator who did it.  They needed help to not only get their people free but to set the original rulers back to protect the people.  Others asked us to help them and the higher ups in other agencies did know.  They agreed it was necessary once they heard."  He took a drink.  Abby gave him a begging look.  "We'll get you a caf-pow in a minute."

"You're not to leave this office again.  Or else you will not have a job to come back to."

"That's going to be hard for cases," Tony said.

"Who said you still have one?" she sneered.  "I've heard you were insinuating yourself into a space no one wanted you to sit in."

"No, I'm Gibbs' senior agent, Director.  As I have been for years.  I was right where Gibbs wanted me."  Gibbs looked at him.  "Wasn't I?"

"Except for that parade they threw."

"I was hiding.  They thought I was the wife."  He smirked at her.

"But you're a good mom," Abby teased.

"Kids," Gibbs said patiently.

"Yes, boss," they said in unison.

The director glared.  "That is not a cute comedy routine.  Stop it."  She glared at Jethro.  "I want reports."

"It's classified.  I was told you couldn't have any."

"I will."

"Take that up with the SecNav," Tony said.  "He agreed with the directors who said we couldn't, ma'am."  He pulled out a letter, handing it over.  "He said if you got insistent to hand that to you."  Dean had done an excellent job forging it and Gibbs had an old letter from him on the right stationery.  A bit of a copying job and it was good.

She ripped it open, reading it.  It was on the right stationery.  It was signed with the right style of loopy handwriting.  She glared at them.  "Report to your desks."  They left.  "Do not leave the office today."

"We can send McGee for coffee," Tony agreed.  He glanced at Gibbs as they walked down the stairs.  He saw all the people staring their way.  "Yes, we're back from that case," he called.  McGee's head popped up and he grinned.  "Kate.  Probie."  He looked at the person at his desk, moving to eject her from his seat.  "Thank you."  He sat down.  "Do we have a  current case?"

"Cold case detail," Kate said.  "You're not tanned."

"I only got out into the garden a few times after the plants tried to eat us."  She stared.  He grinned.  "They did.  There were some eggs from some cannibal fish too."

"I got offered six peppercorn plants to marry someone's son," Abby told her.  Kate shook her head quickly.  "He was sweet but a bit young."

"Barely hatched," Tony said dryly.  Gibbs looked at him.  "He was."

"Hatched instead of born?" McGee asked.  Tony nodded.  "Gremlin?" he asked with a grin.

"No, I met a few of those.  This one was nice but clueless."

"Good to know," Kate said, staring at him.  "Where were you?"

"Classified," Tony said.  She huffed.  "Sorry.  By the way, we can't get out today."

"I'll make sure someone can get you coffee and her caffeine too," Kate said.  She sent something to Tony's computer.  "Find that for me?"

He looked then looked at the case file, then up at her.  "We already found that."  She groaned, coming over to look.  "I remember that case.  This wasn't cold.  Boss?"  He came over to look.

"We put three people away in that theft ring," he agreed.

Kate looked at him.  "Then why is it listed as cold?"

"I have no idea.  Did you pull the original file?"  She waved it. "Is it not in there?"

"No.  No trial outcome report at all."  She let him see it.  He grimaced and looked at the other cases.  She sat down to search for trials on them.  One had a deadlocked jury but most of the rest had been solved.  "Who would misclassify things?"

Tony looked at her.  "Who assigned you to cold cases and gave you the cases, Kate?  It can only be them or someone they're taking orders from."

"I'll wring her neck," she muttered.  Ziva looked alarmed.  "She had you going over old, solved cases maybe?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"Well, she clearly did.  McGee?  Please deliver these back with my compliments."  She handed him the stack.  "Make me do a lot of unnecessary work," she complained quietly while he went up the stairs.  "We did solve one.  There was a suicide note from the killer with a confession.  It was never logged in and closed out."

"Those cases are generally cold for a reason.  Did you ask whoever filled in for Abby?"

"Hell no.  I wouldn't go down there to talk to the slimy little pissant for any reason, Gibbs.  If I get leered at one more time I'm going to smack his head off."

"Painkillers good, Kate?" Tony asked.

"Very."

He grinned.  "You've also clearly got PMS?"

She growled.  "I do not."

"Then quit barking louder than Gibbs.  Let him go smack the toad in the lab since Abby just knocked him out and tossed him into the morgue for Palmer to practice on.  A guard IM'd, boss."

Gibbs went down to check on Abby.  "You okay?"

"He comes back and he won't be," she said firmly.

"What did he do?"

"He pinched my butt, Gibbs!  That is not allowed!  I'm not into his type or species!  Obviously the man has never had anything but retarded blow up dolls because the regular ones are too smart for him!"

"Calm down."

"No!"  The director stomped in.  "That little brat you put in my lab just pinched me on the ass."  She stopped and stared.  "If the man can't take 'no, I prefer men who have brains' when he tried to hit on me the first three times, he clearly isn't smart enough to work in a lab and run it.   If I see him again I'm going to file a harassment claim against the agency and him."  The director took a step back.  "Let Palmer practice on him.  At least he'll have some use for humanity."  She handed over a stack of files.  "These were all done wrong by the way."  She turned and went back to work correcting the problems he had created.

"If you hadn't disappeared...."

Abby turned to glare at her.  "You'd rather let raping bastards go free?"  She shook her head.  "They needed me there.  I was not the only forensic person who responded to the request.  Any *competent* lab tech could've filled in.  He still ran a semen sample from a rape kit as a strange substance with gunshot residue and ran it through the mass spectrometer.  Palmer kills him or I do.  And if I can't, I know someone who can."

"I'll discuss his attitude with him."

"He comes back in here and they can tell his grieving blow up doll why he was emasculated," she shot back.  The dweeb tried to come back but Abby grabbed a scalpel off her work table.  He screamed like a girl and ran while Gibbs held Abby back.

"No woman in NCIS deserves to be this harassed, Director.  Clearly you didn't hire him for his brains."  He walked Abby into the office.  "Calm down.  Just calm down."

"No!"

"Try, Abs, please?"  She huffed and went back to work.  He followed.  "Director, I think you have bigger problems to handle than watching our award winning forensic scientist work."  She stomped off.  Palmer leaned in.  "Who revived him?"

"Doctor Mallard wanted to know what he did."

Abby turned so fast her pigtails bounced against her forehead.  "He pinched me on the butt."

Palmer grimaced.  "How very sixth grade."

"This was after I told him I wasn't interested *three* times, Palmer."

"Ooh.  Yeah, Darwin award nominee."

"I'm not even sure if the retarded blow up dolls would have him.  Maybe he had to get the ones that're deflating from too much abuse, in a blow up doll coma, to play with."

He grinned. "I like that, I'll have to use that some day.  Are you all right?  Need Doctor Mallard?  Did he hurt you?"

"Hell no.  That's why I knocked him out."

"Okay.  Call if you need us, Abby."  He left.  "Doctor Mallard, she told him no three times and then he pinched her on the behind."

"How very stupid that young man was," Ducky sighed, shaking his head.  "Clearly he has emotional issues and mental problems."

"She drove him off with a scalpel.  I wasn't about to step in there when she grabbed it.  Agent Gibbs stopped her from stabbing him and the director for hiring him."

"Charming of her.  We do need to get her a proper knife again."  He went back to reading his journal.  "See if you can help her, Jimmy.  The reports I have look to be misrun in many interesting ways."

"Yes, Doctor Mallard."  He went back.  "Can I help you with anything, Abby?  I know I'm not great like you are, but I can prep slides and things."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "You're sweet.  It's going to take days though.  He ran a rape kit sample as GSR through the mass spec."  He shuddered.  "Exactly.  It's going to take *days* to correct that."

"Let me help where I can.  That way you don't have to sleep in here tonight.  Three months and the lab went to hell without you, Abby.  We missed you."

"Awww, I missed you too.  You and Ducky's mom would've loved the garden.  It had all sorts of spiny, strange plants and some that wanted to eat us."  He grinned.  "Okay, I need you to prep those three as small samples in little bottles.  That's slice off a small piece and stick it in with some saline solution.  Can you do that?  He clearly couldn't."

"I can try."  She smiled and pointed.  "Do any need to be shaken or anything?"

"Two do.  I can do that before they go in."  He nodded, getting to work on what she ordered him to do.  "Thank you, Gibbs."

"Let me go shoot him.  Want McGee to help?  We found a lot of solved cases in the cold case filing cabinet."

"I don't know if I have much he can help with.  Give these team leaders the bad news?" she asked, printing out a list.  Then she moved to get her own samples started.

"I can do that."  Gibbs went back up to the floor, going to each one of them to gather them together.  "Abby's back."  They all smiled.  "The guy misran a lot of samples."  That got a few frowns.  "He also pinched Abby on the butt.  She's not happy but Palmer's helping her at the moment.  She's going over all the results from while we were gone.  If you had some, she said it's going to be a few days."

They all nodded.  "Better to be late than wrong," one said.

"Someone get her a caf-pow since the director grounded us to the building?"  One nodded he'd do it.  "Watch out for the little brat too.  If he shows back up, she's promised to make someone at his funeral talk about his missing chunks and she does have scalpels.  She knocked him out and gave him to Palmer to practice on after he pinched her."

"That might be a good use for the stupid brat," another one admitted.  "He ran phlegm as an organic substance when we knew what it was.  It was green and chunky, the guy had pneumonia.  What else could it have been?"  They all grimaced.  "Sorry."

"Abby said he ran a rape kit sample as GSR," he said quietly.

"That's my case," the first one said.  Gibbs handed over the list.  "Ah, all three of my open ones.  I'll make sure she gets a caf-pow and you guys get coffee.  Are you taking field calls today?"

"She said we can't leave the office," Jethro said dryly.  They all laughed.  "Thanks."  That got a nod.  "DiNozzo is back too."  He walked over there.  "Abby is fine and calmer."

"Can I go cut him, boss?" Kate asked.

"Her first, then Palmer if she wants to donate him to science."  He sat down.  "How many cold cases are left?"  She held up the four folders.  "Not a lot, we do good work."  He took one.  Tony waved his at the look he got.  "Which one is that?"

"Cassidy's last case, boss," he said quietly.

"Anything I should know?"

"No, she covered all the obvious bases.  Looks like a revenge murder to me right off the top of my head."  He got to work checking some facts.  She was good but he was better at investigations.

Gibbs smiled, getting back to work on his own cold case.  Starting with if it already had an outcome.

The director stomped their way.  "Why did you hand back those cases?"

"They were already solved," Kate told her.  "Clearly misfiled, Director."  She got back to work.  "I don't know who misfiled but they weren't our cases."

Tony stood up and walked off.  "Be back, boss, checking on a fact down in personnel."

"You can't use the computer?" he called after him.

"It claims it ate his file."  He pushed the button on the elevator, heading down to personnel. He walked in with the casefile, putting it on the desk in front of someone.  "The system says it ate him."

"The system went down last night, Agent DiNozzo.  Is Gibbs back?"

"All three of us are back and Abby already smacked the little bastard in her lab for pinching her."  She winced.  "Gave him to Palmer to practice on."  That got a hiss and a wince.  "Exactly.  Do we have a paper file on him?"

She looked then into the filing cabinets, handing it over.  "Why is he in the cold cases?"

"No idea," he admitted.  "Thank you.  We're grounded to the building today if anyone needs Gibbs."

She leaned closer.  "I know who you both are," she said quietly.  He grinned.  "Can't he do what he does there to her?"

"Don't tempt us to call Xander," he muttered back, cracking her up.  He grinned, heading back upstairs.  He put the file in front of his boss then the personnel file.  Gibbs looked then at him.  "Yeah, he was an agent who's still employed.  How is he still employed if he's dead?"  He smirked.  "The agent who took over her case when she died is an idiot."

"I don't know," he said, looking it over.  This file made *no* sense.  He went to find the agent to smack him around.  "Probie," he said when he found him.  The guy's head popped up.  "Why is there a currently open case file of yours listed as a cold case with an agent who it appears may still be alive being listed as dead?"

"He is dead."  Gibbs put down the personnel file.  "Um....  And?"

Gibbs took a calming breath.  Xander had taught him that before he yelled.  It meant he could yell for longer.  "It is protocol to report the death of an agent to not only the director but also to her secretary or to Personnel personally to make sure mistakes like this do not happen," he snarled.  "His family doesn't need to fight with them when they demand back whatever paychecks they sent out by accident or to go to jail for it."

"Gibbs, please ease off my idiot," the team leader said impatiently.  He handed him the file.  "Last time I knew this was an open case."

"It showed up in the cold case stack Kate got handed.  Along with a lot of solved ones."  He handed over the personnel file.  "That could help since DiNozzo already solved it for you."  He walked off again.

The team leader went over protocol with his people again.  They clearly needed it.  Before they all got chewed a new one by Gibbs.  It was nice to have things back to normal again.

Gibbs sat back down.  "They're taking back their open case."

"That's nice.  They should have a lot of fun arresting his girlfriend," Tony agreed.  "By the way, boss.  Someone in personnel wanted to know if Xander was still single."

"Nope.  We like him better that way with what I heard about his exes.  Now all they need to do is figure out how to make Dean stay in one spot to work with him."

"Sam's going to Stanford this fall.  Full ride."  Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "That's what the fight was over.  John wanted him to stay and hunt, get that one that killed their mom.  Sam got a full ride to Stanford.  Which is pretty impressive considering he went to nine high schools."

"It's very impressive even without that," Kate said while reading.  "With that it's nearly phenomenal."

Gibbs nodded.  "That's very good for him.  Is Faith following?"

"We think so.  He'll do research duties for her and back her up as needed."

"Excellent news.  I'll write him later."  He went back to the case file that had landed on his desk.  He went to hand it back with a printout of the resulting trial.  He put that down on top of it.  "That form tells you what happened at the trial.  That means it's solved and closed unless new evidence has come up and that one doesn't say it did, Director."  He walked off again.  "Did we solve our last one?"

"Yes, boss," McGee said.  "Two days after you left."

"Who?"

"The housekeeper."

"Almost a cliche," Tony quipped.

"She was only a weekly maid," McGee said.  "She didn't expect him to come in and slip on the floor wax."

Gibbs shook his head.  "At least it was solved."

"They decided not to prosecute her since it was an accident but she's going back to school so she can change professions," Kate told him.  Ziva looked at her.  "The last case before they left and you got here."

"I see.  How long did that one take you to solve?"

"An extra two days to get all the lab reports back," she said, glaring at Gibbs.

"Don't even start," he ordered without looking up.  "It was important."

"Can you say more than that?"

"No," Tony said.  "We can't.  And if you keep trying we get to torment you by meeting some of the people we worked with."  He looked up with a grin.  "That way you can be driven nuts."

"No thanks."  She went back to her case.  She could see a problem in what had been looked at so far.  "Why didn't they look at the husband?" she muttered.  Gibbs looked at her.  "Didn't even interview the husband when she died at home."  She handed it over, getting to work on finding the husband to interview.  Especially when the wife was killed at home, the security system had been turned off by the code being punched in, and he had been in town.  Gibbs handed it back with a head shake.  "Let me find him.  I'll get you guys coffee on the way back."  She finally found him in the post office system and it was good.  She left to talk to him.

Tony looked at McGee, the new girl settling in at the spare desk, then at the boss.  "How long before things get back to normal?"

"Don't know, DiNozzo, but no rate my butt sights today.  She's probably watching your computer."

"I'm catching up on my professional correspondence since there's no other cases."

"You can have mine.  I can see why it went cold for a year," McGee complained.

Tony came over to look, then pointed.  "We can't call that ship?"

"They claimed they couldn't find him."

"How can they not find him?"

"No clue," McGee admitted.  "That's a quote from the skipper."  Gibbs shook his head.  "He's supposed to contact me once they find him or his body."  Gibbs looked over.  "He's lost on a carrier, boss."

"Interesting.  How long has it been?"

"Four days but they're in the strait beside Saudi at the moment on joint exercises.  He said it might delay it by a day but he would be finding him and at least emailing me an update by tonight."

"If not, call again."

"I will be."  He got back to work.

"This guy somehow managed to not get shore leave, boss.  Came back on a two week liberty and shipped out again the next weekend by request.  The note in the file said he and his spouse had a devastating fight.  Ship commander gave him a sympathy pat and let him transfer with a recommendation."  Gibbs shook his head.  "Two days after he shipped out again, she was found dead for five days Ducky thought."

"That's probably a sign we needed to talk to him."

"The file says they tried but he was evasive and they couldn't get him back from an active combat zone," McGee said.  Gibbs just nodded at that.  "I found a transfer request for him to go to another ship that just got stationed over there from his present one.  Ship-to-ship transfer after the exercise."

"Did we call the second ship?"

"I did, they said he hadn't reported for duty yet, boss," McGee said.

"Nag later if you don't hear anything by fourteen hundred."  McGee nodded, getting back to work.  "DiNozzo, professional correspondence?"

"JAG left a few emails that got forwarded to Kate.  There's a hearing coming up on the murder case we got two weeks before we left.  A few other things."  That got another nod.  "Want me to make a chart?"

"Please."  Tony sat down to do that for them.  He looked it over.  "Why are they bunching up that way?"

"They had a backlog.  Three new judges got promoted last month," McGee said while he typed.  "We spent most of last week testifying somewhere."

"Probie, check bank accounts on him," Tony said.  "If he deserted, he's got to have money somewhere."

He nodded, getting into another window to do that. "He has a money market account in Japan that some of his check diverts to each payday," he said a few minutes later.  Gibbs smirked.  "So transfer to this ship, then transfer over that way when his hitch is up in another year?"

"Could be," Gibbs agreed.  "Lots of sailors have traveled that way to leave the country."

"Huh.  I never thought about that."

"They can do your exit interview anywhere," Tony agreed.  "You get assigned to a base where you want to end up.  It lets you find a place easier and move easier.  No cross-country hauls.  Japan's a pretty country.  Does he have other ties?"

"His record indicates he was taking lessons in Japanese," McGee said a minute later.  "He was using some of our on-board education to get credits in it."  Gibbs nodded.  "Looks like they have a destination."

"Are there any withdrawals in that account?" Gibbs asked.

"No, only fees.  It's not a very good account.  He pays monthly maintenance fees."

"Have the base there look out for him to run," Tony offered.  "If he deserted he'll be heading for his backup spot."  That got a nod and he found the office out there's email, sending them an FYI with a case summary plus what they knew of why he might be heading that way.  Thorough and they could call if they found him.  They all looked up at the scream from the director's office.  Gibbs hopped up to run up there. Tony was right behind him with his gun.  Tony looked at the animal menacing her.  "Nice kitty," he said calmly, moving closer.  "Nice, good hellkitty."  He let it sniff at him.  "Nice kitty.  Don't eat her; she'll taste funny."

It sniffed him then Gibbs, then Tony again.  It headbutted Tony's hand, getting an ear scratch.  "Good cat," Jethro said, calling someone's cellphone.  "Any idea about the three foot black and reddish-orange cat that wanted to eat the director?"  He smirked.  "Please.  Tony's petting it."  He hung up.  "He'll call someone to come get their pet."

"It just appeared!" she shouted.

"Calm down, Director.  If you're not calm, the cat will react to it," Tony ordered calmly.  "Like any wild animal or housecat.  Such a good hellkitty.  Yes you are.  You tracked her very well."  It lapped him up the cheek then went to sniff Gibbs.  He scratched it.  The cat went to sniff Cynthia until it found the coffepot.  That it tipped over so it could lick it up.

"Um, should I give it creamer?" she called.

"No," Gibbs said.  Two suits ran in and grabbed the cat.  It growled and struggled but one stared at it until it gave in.  He looked at them.  "Did it get loose?"

"Something like that, sir.  Our boss expresses his apologies."

Jethro nodded.  "At least it didn't eat anyone."  They smirked evilly at him and he knew someone had set the cat on the director to scare her so she quit messing in things she shouldn't be dealing with.  "Thank you, boys."  They left with the cat, stopping to get it some coffee on the way out as a reward.

"It's nice it's coffee addicted," Tony said.  Gibbs smacked him on the head.  "Hey!"

"Go."  Tony went back to his desk.  "Are you all right?"

"What was that?"

"Apparently a pet."  He walked out, giving the secretary a look.  She shrugged, giving him a helpless look back.  "Ducky has some spill powder that should suck that out of the carpet.  Then you can vacuum it up."

"Thank you, Agent Gibbs."

"Welcome, Cynthia."  He went back to his desk.  He had an email waiting from Fornell about that.  He apologized but one of the other elf clans' person at the CIA had sicced the hellcat on her.  He sent back a note to be more circumspect but it had liked Tony for some reason.  Tony had nearly gotten to give it belly scratches.  Fornell sent back a very confused sounding email.  "Fornell wanted to know why the cat liked you, DiNozzo."

"My charming nature?" he suggested with a grin.  "Or Xander said we're very alike but I'm more calm."

"That could be."  He wrote back those suggestions.  Fornell sent back it had to be some girl's scent on him.  The cats liked girls.  "He agrees with Abby and whoever called you the wife last time."  Tony gave him a dirty look.  "He said they like girls more."

"All cats do but cats can get used to guys."

"Cats?" Kate asked.

"One just tried to attack the director for her coffee," Tony said.

"No wonder she screamed.  Gibbs probably would if you took his coffee too."  She shook her head.

McGee looked at them.  "The black and orange really large cat they carried out?"  Tony smirked and nodded.  "And it liked you?"

"Yeah.  Let me pet it all I wanted before it went to knock Cynthia's coffeepot over to lap up."

"That's interesting.  I've seen those online before."  Tony gave him an amused look.  Gibbs stared.  "Actually, I'm pretty sure someone caught something of the fight to free the palace you guys were at."  Gibbs growled quietly.  Kate fled like a smart woman.  Ziva got dragged by Kate because she was being kind.  "Not that I'm going to tell or anything," he said quietly.

"You see some of the damndest things online these days," Tony said.  "Cellphones work there, McGee."

"Good."  He nodded.  "Next time you go up to do battle with the evil garden, I'll call."  Gibbs went back to glaring so he sent him an IM with the videos he had found.  None specifically showed Tony or Gibbs but on one you could hear Tony's voice and you caught a side-view of Gibbs on the other two.  "Do we need IT help up there?"

"We're working on that," Tony admitted.  "The local library has email but I'm not sure how."

"Okay.  Let me know?"

"You and Abby can work on it together but if you screw things up I get to feed you to plants," Gibbs told him.

"Sure, boss.  Who's the pretty girl?"

"Faith."  He walked over then froze a picture, turning the monitor around.  "That's Sam, her former mate.  Longer than average story.  Did you recognize the younger guy?"

"I recognized a few of the CSI from conventions but yes."  He stared.  "I also saw Buffy Summers in that one garden one."

"Ah, yeah.  She came up to check on Xander and Faith."

"Good to know."

"Any other nosy questions, McGee?  And how do you know?"

"Um...  Kinda had a few problems around my childhood home and I keep up with some very strange research to make sure nothing new is coming this way?  I had no idea hellcats liked coffee."

"That one belonged to another agent," Gibbs said.  "Anything else you wanted to tell us, McGee?"

"At least you're scary up there too, boss," he said with a grin.  Gibbs glared.  "I mean..."

"Save it, McGee.  Plenty of people think he's scary and everyone believes I'm his wife there.  So Abby calls me mom to pick on me."

McGee swallowed.  "That makes so much sense."  He smiled.  "If you need help, let me know.  Here or there."

"We will," Gibbs said, erasing that IM.  Tony went back to his desk.  "What do you know about Dean and Sam Winchester?"

"Not a lot.  Roaming.  Looking for one specific thing that's pretty high up.  They're kinda young but been doing it since Sam was about six months old.  There's not a whole lot known about them because their father keeps them out of the circuit as much as possible."  Tony nodded.  "Why?  Are both involved?"

"Dean used to be Xander's mate."

"That's got to be a gun'riffic conversation."  Tony grinned and nodded.  "At least they're both very protective."

"Very," Gibbs said.  "Back to work.  Kate, quit lurking and get back to work."

"I'm making sure we don't get eaten, Gibbs," she complained.  She came back with coffee for them.  "Here."  She settled in at her desk.  "Are we done with the code?"  They all nodded.  "Thank you.  Anything I should hear about just in case it comes to bite me like that cat?"

"Boss, can we introduce her to Xander?" Tony asked.

"Shut up, DiNozzo, before I tell more people you're my wife."

"But, boss, half the city already thinks I'm the wife," he shot back.  And wasn't that freaky, so many demons and other supernatural creatures in DC.  Gibbs smirked at him.  "They do."

"That's because you dress so sharply and corrected Xander's clothes too," he said bluntly.  "Plus you never stay with a woman for more than a few months."

"Not my fault they don't like the hours I pull here for you."

"Then they're secondary girlfriends to your job?" Kate taunted.

"Pretty much," he agreed, grimacing some. "Or so they think.  And yes, I did fix Xander's clothes.  He wore some ugly, loud stuff.  His email said the wrist cuffs he was using to cover up the scratches got him called gay by his ex-girlfriend Cordelia."

"She sounds like some of my exes."

"She cares, according to him, but she hides it behind the snark," Tony said.  "If she really doesn't like you she makes your life a living hell.  She's a popular cheerleader in their school."

Gibbs nodded.  "That does sound like wife number three," he sighed, shaking his head quickly.  He almost rubbed the spot she had hit him but wouldn't do that in front of them.  "Back to work."

"On what?" they asked.  He looked at them.

"My suspect husband is conveniently out of town on business for the next three weeks," Kate said.  "Airlines have him flying to Taiwan three days ago."

"My last cold case went cold because there's nothing they can find.  I even emailed Abby and she remembered the case.  She said even with new technology she couldn't find anything new.  All you had was a rose petal and a cigarette butt to add to the missing Marine."

"I hate those cases," Tony said.  "Missing and presumed dead?"

"Yeah.  They found about ten large drops of blood.  Testing on it said it had chloroform in it.  They knew he was kidnaped but there was no evidence, no ransom note, no calls, nothing.  No hidden lover he might've staged it to sneak off with so they could start over.  Absolutely nothing."

Gibbs nodded.  "Sometimes those cases happen.  Hopefully there's more evidence when they find him or his body.  Where did he go missing?  Any hints of  others?"

"I've done a search through the records to see if the club was mentioned in another case.  It was in one drunk and disorderly sailor hitting on the wrong person.  That resulted in a bar brawl. The club was closed down soon after.  The local PD there doesn't have anything but bar brawls and people being thrown out either."

"Then no leads," Gibbs said with a small sigh.  "We all hate them but they happen, McGee.  Those you keep coming back to.  The handling agent?"

"Retired."

"Make it yours.  Check on it now and then."  He nodded, putting it on his open case shelf before moving to make a notation in the file that he had the hard copy.  "Any other open cases?"

"Nope," Kate said.  "Though I think we need to go over how to handle a crime scene with Ziva, boss.  She's only had the one."

"Have Ducky set up one," he ordered.  She called to do that.  "Gather your gear.  We'll walk her through it."  They gathered their gear.  Ziva gathered hers.  "That includes your hat and/or coat, Officer David."  She grabbed that as well.

"Regs say you have to wear at least your hat identifying you as NCIS personnel at any active scene," McGee told her.  He followed Tony and Kate to the elevator with Gibbs.  "Think Palmer's the body?" he asked on the way down.

"He's helping Abby," Tony said.  "He probably hypothetically killed a probie that annoyed him."  They came out into a staging/bigger item exam area.  "We ready, Ducky?"

"Nearly so, boys."  He looked over.  "Ah, Officer David.  Training?"  She nodded.  "Do listen to Jethro.  He's been doing this for nineteen years."  He went back to fussing things into place.  "Here you go.  A case Abby's presently got backlogged."

"That'll work," Gibbs agreed.  "Do we have a body?"  He nodded.  "Okay.  Officer David, what do you do first?"

"Make sure the scene is secure?"

"The locals usually call us in and do that for us," Tony said.  "If we get there first, yes.  We tape off the area, make sure no one's hiding in a way that would endanger us or give us witnesses."  She nodded.  He led the way.  He paused her at the 'doorway'.  "You do not step in. There's a path and a way you do this so you do not compromise any evidence you find."

"Instead of just walking over?"

"Everyone takes the same path around an area," Kate said.  "It's dictated by the scene but there's a few standard ways.  McGee, take point."

"McGee, measure.  DiNozzo, sketch.  Kate, pictures.  Ziva, help by finding evidence once that's done.  The other things you need more training for than this."  She nodded.  He looked, stepping in after McGee.  It was a pretty standard 'body in a house' scene.

"Large blood pool," Kate said.

"Yes, it was.  He was on blood thinners as it happened," Ducky told her.  "Bled out faster and more than usual."

Tony looked.  "That's too much for one guy anyway, Ducky.  It looks like it's dried at different times too."  Ducky looked.  "Whose case?"

"Diventral."

"Pity," Tony said, snipping samples once he had noted it on his sketch.  "This is how you properly sample a carpet," he told Ziva.  "You can cut out a patch if it has interesting stains.  Like ... boss, burn skid."  Gibbs came over to squat down and look.  "See how there's a burned-in skid mark under the dried blood?" Tony asked.  She nodded.  "That's the sort of thing we cut out to see if it has something like gunshot residue in."  He showed her how to do that properly with the ruler.  "With practice you can eyeball an inch around."  He bagged it and noted it on the bag.  "That's how you bag, then you seal it."  He tape sealed it and initialed it.

"Always.  That way if there's a question about the sample they knew who did it.  You flag things for the sketch and pictures.  I know Kate got it when I called because she's like that.  Usually you announce, flag it," he said, holding up a little number placard.  "Then you get pictures of it before you bag it."  He pointed at one.  "There's another one there."  She went to do that.  Kate showed her how to take proper pictures.  He looked around, getting down on his hands and knees with his cheek pressed against the carpet.  "We've had some snippage, boss.  It's not an even height."  He pointed.  "Shaved section there and forty degrees off to the right.  Looks round."  Gibbs looked then nodded, taking pictures of it once he had it flagged and with a ruler for measurement.  Tony noted it on the sketch.

"What are you doing?" the director yelled from the 'doorway'.  "This is someone else's scene."

"Ziva's never been on a scene, ma'am.  What better way to show her?" McGee asked.  "Instead of stumbling over one and having Tony instruct you as it's done.  This way she can practice how to take the proper short distance photos in the not very bright lights and she learns the proper methods before it comes up in a case on trial."  She glared at him.  "I had two that did, ma'am.  Once we nearly lost a murderer to my inexperience.  Gibbs had to go behind me and say he had corrected where I hadn't gathered anything."

"We need UV lights," Kate said.  "I have suspicious stains."

Tony looked over.  "Semen or blood?"

"Looks white and it soaked in.  It's a splatter pattern."  She took a measuring shot then gathered a few pieces.  "We can take a picture while the UV is exposing it," she told Ziva quietly, getting a nod.

The agent in charge came down.  "Gibbs, are you that bored?"

"Ziva David, this is Agent Diventral, who is now over the Norfolk office," Tony introduced.

"Hey, David," McGee said with a wave.  "She needed trained before she screwed up like I did."

"That's fine."

"Did anyone note the shaved areas?" Tony asked.  "Or Kate's semen samples?"

"I've got a rookie team myself, guys."

Gibbs nodded.  "We need to train them better."  He found another burn mark and did what he was supposed to.  "Was this person a smoker?  There's a lot of long burns."

"No.  No smokers, had a sign on the door about no smoking."  He leaned on a fake wall.  "Is it on the sketch?"  Tony added it then handed it over.  He stared.  "This is better than mine, DiNozzo.  Good work."  He handed it back.  "Carbon copy what you find?  I just checked with Abby and she's really backed up."

"The guy was misrunning samples," McGee said.

"Ah.  That explains why he tried to tell me this scene had a zebra hair."

"It might but he was an idiot," Gibbs told him, giving him a look.  "Like Hershal Boots last year."

The other supervisor snickered.  "Abby stab this one?"

"Nearly.  Knocked him out for Palmer to practice on."

"Good.  Let me know, guys.  Thanks.  I'll go over it with my rookies too."

"Call one of the local labs, see if they offer CSI prep classes somewhere," Tony suggested. "I know most CSI learn how to do it in classes.  There's got to be a field class we can make mandatory or steal the materials for."

"Not a bad idea," Gibbs agreed.

"I'll look into that later.  I have a great contact in one of the Federal labs."  He left, going back to his office.  He could appreciate training time that made his case go easier.

"Agent DiNozzo, why are you nuzzling the carpet?" the director asked.

"I'm checking for more shaved spots and indications of where furniture may have been moved recently, ma'am.  Standard procedure.  I can tell you someone who smelled like lavender and vanilla was laying on it."  Gibbs looked over.  "Good patch by the blood pool."

"Victim was male," Ducky told him.  "That's why I used our victim there."  He came in to do his usual checks while Ziva watched and took notes of anything he said.  He did diagnose a blood pressure problem with the probational officer but he would be thankful of that later.  He and Gibbs shared a smirk when the director left.  "It does need to be done."

"As you go, you learn which things you can leave out at some scenes.  Like the hands and knees on hardwood, linoleum, or dirt," McGee told her.  "Tony did try to make me do that once."

"I saw scratches and marks in the dirt," Tony defended with a grin for his spot of carpet. "Boss, got long, blonde  hair."  He held it up before bagging it.  "No tag at the end.  Looks like it's broken."

"Our sailor had short, red hair," Ducky said.

"At that length I wouldn't expect it on a guy," Tony told him.  He noted it on the envelope then put it into the box for evidence.  It took them two hours but Abby was not happy when he brought in the plastic box.  "From Diventral's case.  We were training Ziva with it."

"Why are you making more work for me?" she complained.

"Because you're brilliant and he knows why you're backed up.  Plus because we're grounded to the office."  He patted her on the shoulder.  "She'll learn like McGee did."  She nodded, looking in there.  "Something strange about that blood pool.  Kate's uploading the photos but I think there was more than one victim.  There was a huge blood pool."

"I heard."  She frowned.  "It'll be tomorrow."

"He knows.  We told him why."  She smiled and got back to work.  "Need anything?"

"I'm good.  Thank you, Mom."

"Welcome."  He went back up there.  "She complained a bit but I told her about the blood pool, Kate."

"I uploaded all the photos to the file," she assured him.  "I'm sure his probies are going to love seeing all that evidence."

"Hopefully," Gibbs said.  "Let's hope it's not one of those cases where there's too much evidence for the case."

"Those are hard but every agent has to learn to weed out things that happened earlier than your target time or aren't relevant," McGee said.  "It was one of the hardest things I struggled with.  I'm a big picture guy."

"Like how?" Ziva asked.

"Those blonde hairs I found could be evidence of a girlfriend, a special friend that he calls over for some cuddling, or it could be another victim," Tony told her.  "Abby can't date the hair.  We'll have to take it in context of the victim's life to see where it fits."  She nodded slowly.

"If it's from a girlfriend and she's alive, we can ignore it unless we need it to identify her," Kate added.

"I get that part but I'm confused why we gathered it."

"How do you know if it's relevant or not?" Gibbs asked her.

"Oh."

"Even the trash on the street when we find a body on one gets gathered because it could be from the killer or victim, or not.  You have to gather everything.  Like the trimmed carpet.  It could have been done by the victim.  It could've been done by someone trying to clean up the scene of their blood spatter if there were wounds on them."

"Or it could be burned down from a cleaner," Tony said.  "I think half of those were cleaner burn downs, Gibbs."

"Cheap carpet?"

"Pretty much," Tony agreed.  "I still took samples for her."  He looked at Ziva.  "If you don't gather everything, you're assuming.  No matter what a defense attorney tells you, we're not here to assume."  She nodded at that.  "People can be put to death for things like murder and if we get the wrong person then they can do it again."

"Or those serial cases we all hate to see," Kate agreed.  "Because you know one's coming and you're powerless to stop it even if you do assume.  You still have to handle it as it comes."  McGee nodded.  "Even on those days when you get three new cases in one day."

"You'll find an area you're good in and we'll lean on you for that," Gibbs told her.

"I'm good with knife work."

"That doesn't come up except in some undercovers," Tony told her.  "Always carry one though because that's rule number nine on Gibbs' list of twenty-three.  Probie started to embroider his so he'd remember them."

"I was joking," he complained.

"Yeah, I saw the rule number twelve pillow," Kate said with a smirk for him.  She looked at the notes online.  "Diventral's crew is going to have a lot of footwork.  He was a popular guy who had just recently managed to piss off half a platoon with his mouth."

Tony looked at her.  "Gay bashing or something?"

"No, no hate speech noted.  He had a severe behavior change.  Ducky's going to find something in his head."

"Snapped?" McGee suggested.

"No.  Doesn't look like an anger outburst.  His CO noted some behavior changes last months in his file.  Looks like he was having a bipolar incident really.  Ducky's going to find a tox screen necessary or a brain tumor of some sort.  I'd bet on it."

"You can ask him," Tony offered.

Gibbs looked at them.  "Not our case."

Kate looked at him.  "We can steer his probies."

"Ask permission before you poach."

"Yes, Gibbs."  She called to make sure someone had noted that problem going on.  He wasn't pleased but when she mentioned the notes, he got into them and groaned in her ear.  She smiled and said something then hung up.  "Ducky's doing his autopsy today."  She went to tell him.  "Ducky, on the case we just trained on, there's evidence of him either being bipolar or having a tumor of some sort.  Radical behavior changes from a sweet guy to a snarling bastard like Gibbs was the weekend in Arizona without coffee."

He shuddered at that memory.  "I shall check. That sort of verbal problem can cause hostilities."

"A half a platoon worth last week.  His CO noted it changed last month in some notes."

"That's very interesting.  I'll run that in the tox panel as well.  Thank you, Kate.  I'm sure they'd like the help."

"He said he has a whole team of probies."

"I pity the poor man's sanity."  He smiled.  "Go back to lounging about, dear.  Since you're not to go on cases today."  She went back to her desk.  "Yes, very interesting indeed, lad.  What happened to your head?"  He made notes on the forms and got to work excising his skull.  "Oh, dear, she was right.  That's a nasty looking tumor.  I need to get your medical records, don't I?"  He sent Palmer to make that call.  He was harmless so they'd like him more.  He got faster results when he stammered at the nurses.

Part 3

A few weeks later Xander called Dean's phone.  "Hey, it's me.  We're going tomorrow.  If I don't come out of it, watch over Faith me.  Okay?  We've got it covered.  It'll be a battle but we've got it handled.  If I do make it, I'll call once I wake up.  Probably from an adrenaline crash.  Watch the news, it'll be pretty.  See you soon and be safe."  He hung up.  Sam gave him an odd look.  "I'm allowed to be mushy.  Willow raised me," he defended.

"I'm shocked he's not here."

"Something clearly needed to be handled elsewhere," Xander told him.  "I've got to call Gibbs."  He walked off doing that.  "Hey, Overlord.  We're going tomorrow.  Be safe and all that shit.  Watch over Faith for me if I can't.  Sam's here with us.  Nah, he's off handling something.  I just called his phone and got his voicemail.  I'll be fine.  It'll be on the news.  Warn the elves this way for us.  Just do it tomorrow.  They'll only cause problems if they're here.  Yeah, I'm sure.  Very sure.  See you soon and hug Tony there.  He sounded pitiful in his email yesterday."  He hung up and looked up at the night sky.  Then he went back inside to finish making the bombs.  "Buffy, when this goes, we need to evacuate the area.  There's going to be fire crews and probably Feds within hours."  She nodded.  "Sam's got my spare car keys.  I've got mine in my front pocket.  If you have to frisk me, so be it."

"Got it, Xander.  I'll try not to crash it if we have to escape."

"Thanks."  He looked at Sam.  "You're running the evac with Faith.  Do not argue with me.  There's a chance that the hellmouth will open when this goes.  We're not sure if he'll be opening it or not."

"Got it."  He was going to kick Dean's ass for not being here for Xander.  "Did anyone else hear these plans?"

"Mac, Horatio, and Gibbs all asked so I told them.  They agreed it was about the only workable plan in that small of an area with what was going on.  They do not like it and they do not know about those."  He pointed.  The principal came in so he looked at him.  "What?"

"What are you doing?" he sneered.

Xander punched him and knocked him out.  "I'm making sure more evil doesn't reign in Sunnydale."  He put him into the book cage.

"He'll need to be at graduation," Buffy said.

"I can block this out for him," Willow promised, doing that.  Then she let Angel walk him off when he got there.  Xander even got to hit him again for all the problems he had caused them.  They got to work on the finishing touches.  It had to go right tomorrow.

***

Dean hung up his phone, looking at the handcuffs then at his father.  "Xander and Sammy are going into a real battle tomorrow.  You done yet?"  The demon in his father sneered.  Someone stomped in and knocked John down then kicked him on the chest.  "Hey."

"Hey," he said, unlocking Dean's cuffs.  "Go." Dean rushed out.  Tony squatted down to look at John, shaking his head.  "Are we not having a good month?" he asked when they woke up.

"Who're you?" he demanded.

"The Overlord Jethro's first spouse, Tony," he said bluntly.  The demon shrieked and fled.  "Good to know."  He helped John up.  "Do whatever you have to do, John.  The boys are going into a real battle tomorrow.  Thankfully we're near enough to make it by the ten o'clock deadline."

"Let me get some holy water," he said, going to find some.  He came back.  "Dean took the car."

"You can have mine.  We can stop at a church on the way."  They left, heading down to Sunnydale.  "Why come to Palo Alto?"

"It wanted Sammy."

"He's in Sunnydale with Faith and Xander."

"Thank God."

"No, God has nothing to do with this, John."  He turned on the radio, speeding up once he hit the highway.  "Xander said there's forty-three churches in Sunnydale."

"They probably need it."  He tipped the seat back some.  It was comfortable at least.  A good rental.  Only they smelled like air freshener all the time and Tony said he drove a mustang.  This was a sedan.  "Federal issue?"

"Rental.  If I had borrowed a car from the local office they'd want to get involved.  We're nosy that way."

"What about the elves in the FBI office in LA Dean said you had?"

"We didn't tell them more than to watch out on graduation, something might be happening.  Xander said he wanted them far away.  They'd complicate matters."

"Wonderful.  Do we have any ideas?"

"Gibbs approved of the battle plan.  He's got reinforcements.  They're screwed if they can't get him soon after he changes."  John hummed and closed his eyes.  "Just don't grab the wheel if the demon comes back."

"She was scared to death of you, Tony.  I have no idea why."

"We have a scary rep," he said with a grin.  "One fled from Mac the other day, calling him the father of the spawns of hell."  John laughed.  "I thought that was cute too.  Gibbs growled.  Wanted to hunt it down."

"They do hunt, they're banes to that world."  He changed stations on the radio.  "Better noise."

"It's not too bad."  He changed lanes so he could speed up a bit further.  He wasn't over the speed limit by much and his badge would cure any tickets most likely.

***

Xander looked at the people gathered around.  Horatio stomped in.  "Horatio?  What are you doing here?"

"You don't get to go into a battle on your own, Xander."  He saw the bombs and went to look at them.  "You missed a wire."

"I'm putting them in right before we go out."  He looked at him.  "So they can't get bounced by a random earthquake or anything."

"Good idea."  He inserted the missing wires for him, then they went to take their places.  Jethro nodded from his seat.  "We're set."

"Who has the trigger?" Jethro asked quietly.

"Giles," Xander said before sitting down next to him.  They looked at him.  "I graduated with my GED."

"I'm proud, kid."  Jethro patted him on the back.  He spotted what he had on under his shirt.  That got him smirked at.  "Faith?"

"Has hers covered too."  That got a nod.  He subtly passed Jethro something.  "Who else is here?"

"Dean, John, and Tony should about be here by now," Horatio said.  "He had to go unpossess John.  He was holding Dean hostage."

"No wonder he wasn't answering his phone."  They nodded.  The principal walked up to start his speech, totally putting down the students at the same time.  "Toad," he muttered.

Horatio looked at him.  "Don't insult toads."

"Or trolls," Gibbs said, crossing his arms over his chest.  The mayor stepped up to give his speech, glancing up then out at the crowd with a smile before he started.  As soon as he switched languages, Xander hopped up and moved forward.  "Move, federal agents!" he yelled.  He and Horatio got out of the way of the fleeing crowd.  Sam and Faith were getting people out of the way as the mayor changed.  Faith guarded the exit out, taking out the demons, while Sam guarded the back and pushed them out.  Horatio helped with the defense until they could clear things.

Dean, John, and Tony all pulled up and hopped out to jump in.  The defense was going well as a diversion.  The mayor ate the principal.  A few people cheered and even Gibbs had to smile at that.  The snake dove their way and he fired on it while his section fled.  It moved to attack someone weaker.  Horatio dove on one kid to save him but another one got batted by the huge nose.  He got up and fired on the snake.  It didn't hurt him much but it was enough to drive him off.

"Close the ranks," Xander called.  "Guard the right flank.  Dan, that's you!"  Those kids moved in like he had taught them.  He looked around.  "Sam, go!"  He sliced another demon coming in to help the chaos.  "Ethan must be fucking high on the power from this," he said to Buffy.  She nodded.  "Giles?"  He nodded.  "We good?"

"Nearly."  He waved at Buffy.  She ran, getting the mayor's attention.

"Move it, people!" Xander bellowed.  "Back off!  Now!"  Everyone fled, taking the others with them.  Xander got knocked down but he got helped up by John.  Dean got his scythe that he dropped.  He grinned at him when the school went up.  "Pretty."

"Very pretty," Dean agreed with a slight pant.  "Damn."

Xander nodded, looking around.  "Get a casualty count!  I want medical here, now!" he shouted.  Ambulances started arriving within minutes.  "Fade," he told Faith.  "Something's wrong.  I can feel the hellmouth."  They looked, Buffy looked where she was walking out.  "Something's wrong."  Part of the school got sucked in, exposing a light.  "Shit!"

"On it," Willow shouted, rushing in with Buffy guarding her.  She chanted as she ran, hoping like hell it worked this time.  She tripped but Buffy helped her up.  She had to duck something falling from the outside of the school.  It kept sucking.  "I can't, Buffy."

Xander came running in, adding to the chant.  She took his hand, working with him.  The light wavered.  Xander looked at the hole.  "That's not a good sign.  Something's holding it open."  He picked up a piece of rubble, tossing it in there.  It knocked into the beam that had fallen, unpropping it.  "I see a tentacle, Willow."  She did it again, using him for a power source.  It finally shut.  She fell to her knees.  Xander looked around.  "We have to go.  Now.  The building's going to finish collapsing."  He helped Buffy pick up Willow and carry her out.  John took Willow from them.  They ran for the cars.  It was what saved them as the school started to fall into the hole.  "Oh, shit," Xander said in awe.  He grabbed a cop, pointing.  "Sinkhole!"

He called frantically.  They grabbed all the bodies that they could and evacuated once the sinking got worse.

Dean pulled Xander into the Impala.  "We have to go now."  They headed off, making it out of town as the rest of that block fell in.  They got to sit and watch half the town be sucked into the former hellmouth.  And future hellmouth once someone uncovered it probably.

Horatio looked at Xander.  "Was that part of the plan?"

"No.  It wasn't."  He looked at Willow.  She was on Tony's back seat.  "Did we all make it out?  Faith and Sam?"  They waved from their spot on Xander's hood.  "Buffy?"  She waved.  "Thank god.  Call your mom."  She did that.  "Giles?"

"Panting and praying behind the car," she told him.  She called her mom.  "Hi, Mom.  I'm okay, no matter what the tv says."  She listened. "I have no idea, Mom.  We thought he might wake the hellmouth to complete the ritual.  The books weren't sure about that.  Well, either he did or something did.  We got it closed when it was blocked open.  That's what's doing the sucking, yeah."  She watched as another few inches fell in.  "I have no idea.  Willow's crashed.  Giles is praying hard.  Giles, can you pray for someone like Ethan to come close it?" she called.  "He's evil and all but if it keeps going he'll be sucked into a hell dimension.  I doubt he'd enjoy that."

Tony snapped his fingers and called the castle.  "It's Tony.  The hellmouth here opened and is sucking in people.  What do you mean they appeared in the courtyard?  Anything of the buildings?"  He smiled.  "That's fine.  Treat them and we'll get them back here somehow.  Rosenburg tried."

"She was sucking energy from me and using my help," Xander said more quietly, looking at him.  "At least they're okay."

Tony repeated that, nodding.  "They're getting help, Xander.  The ones they lost are being given every respect."  Xander swallowed, nodding a bit.  Gibbs walked him off to let him puke in some bushes in private.  Dean followed after grabbing some water for him.  Tony watched.  "Xander's sick but we're good.  We all made it out.  Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "They'll handle it from that side."

"Thank you, God," Buffy murmured, going to hug Giles.  He smiled, hugging her back.  "I didn't see Cordy or Oz."

"Oz was with my group," Faith said.  "He faded pretty fast.  He should be safe.  Find Red's phone to find his number."  She nodded, patting Willow down to find it.  She called Willow's mother first then Oz.  Faith looked at Sam.  "Damn we rock."

He kissed her.  "You do."  She beamed.  "You did a great job, Faith.  Saved a lot of lives."  He smoothed her hair down, kissing her again.  "Need any cuts looked at?"

"I'll heal."

"Not allowed," he said with a grin.  "Xander either."  She snorted.  He pushed her against the car to check for injuries.

"Guys, not in public," Buffy complained.

"I'm checking for injuries, Buffy.  Not having sex here," Sam retorted.

Gibbs looked over.  "Sam, you have a backseat."

"I'm only checking for injuries."

"Then I'd let go over her breast, son," John said dryly.  Sam blushed, letting her go.  She checked him over.  He had a few light cuts and a lot of bruises.  She had about the same.  They could bandage and baby each other later.  The sucking stopped once it hit the downtown area.  City Hall stopped it.  "Protections on the building."

"He wanted power, he wasn't stupid," Tony agreed.  Xander came out with Dean and Gibbs. "You okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Happened to all of us, Xander.  You did good.  They said there was only fifteen dead out of all that fell through.  The PD and EMS people evac'd the rest already to the hospital."  He nodded.  "Out of that many people, only losing that many was fantastic."  He gave him a pat on the back.

Buffy let go of Giles to look at the damage.  "That's going to be a mess for months."

"Patrol slows down during the summer anyway," Xander reminded her.  "By fall it'll be back to normal."  He looked around.  "What sort of excuse do we think they'll use this time?  It's too big for wild animals or gangs of kids on PCP."  Gibbs snorted at that.  Horatio shook his head with a slight moan.  "Their excuses for vamps.  Now and then someone falls on their barbeque fork."

"Gas explosion," Faith said.  "I heard one of the EMS guys saying it was a huge gas explosion."

They all shook their heads at that.  News crews were already coming down on the town.  "Let's get your stuff, kids.  We can relax somewhere we won't be found."  They nodded.  "Where?"

"Motel," Xander said.  That got a nod and Dean took him to get his.  Sam took Faith.  It was good to relax afterward.  Both their mates were calmer than they were.  Dean and Sam would be sick later and they could baby them.

***

Don Epps knocked on the hotel room's door, getting let in by Mac.  "What the hell, kids?"

Xander looked at him.  "Get any film?"

"Six different versions.  Why did it sink in?"

"The hellmouth opened," Willow told him.  "Some of the debris blocked it open."  Don moaned.  "It'll be fine, sir.  Who are you?"

"Agent Don Epps, FBI."  She whimpered.  He looked at Xander.  "When I suggested someone take out the town to save lives, I didn't mean like that."

"I didn't plan that," Xander said with a frown.  "I planned the defensive action.  I planned the bomb.  I made the bombs, but I didn't plan for the hellmouth to get stuck open.  We knew it might but Willow can usually close it.  Thankfully since I was helping her when it got stuck, they all went to our realm."

"We have them back.  It was a good plan, Xander.  Half of them died from the hellmouth, not the mayor or the explosion."  The boy turned a bit green.  "Go puke if you need to."  He ran to do that.  Dean followed after him.  He smiled at that.  So did everyone else.  "Anything I should report to either set of higher ups?"

"My mom's in LA," Buffy said.  "I'm going to report to my own higher authority."

"We can make sure you find her, Miss Summers.  Gibbs?"

"We weren't going to let the kids go into a real battle situation without backup.  All they had were untrained kids whose only experience was D&D or video games," Tony told him. "Mac got there late due to a delayed flight."

"I would've been there," Epps complained.

"You would've had to try to stop the bombs," Buffy said quietly.

"Not really.  Only if asked later."

"That's why he said he wasn't telling you," Gibbs told him.  "Speaking of, our director throwing another fit?"

"She was until the video feed started on the news.  Apparently McGee said you guys were there for the graduation ceremony.  I do know she's gotten the real feed from at least one source we don't have."  That got a grimace from the NCIS personnel.  "It'll be fine, guys.  Come work for us at the FBI," he teased.

"I'd hate to have to learn to take credit for arrests like the ones in DC," Tony quipped back.  Xander came out and sat down again.  "Want some soup?"

"Nope."  He let Dean sit next to him so he could rest against him.  Not technically cuddling but he felt miserable.  "How many?" he asked quietly.

"Seven from the battle.  Another two from the explosion.  Knocked into harder objects."

"Were they too strong?"

"Maybe but better overkill than underkill in that case," Don told him.  "Another ten from the hellmouth opening."  Xander nodded, looking down.  "Eight total died from the evacuation before Faith could pull the demons off them or from trampling injuries."  She nodded at that, letting Sam stroke her back for her.  "Twenty-seven deaths out of over four hundred people, even those around the area of the school.  That's who the hellmouth got.  They didn't evacuate fast enough. An earthquake will do the same thing."  They all nodded at that.  "That was still phenomenal odds, Xander.  You did good planning that one."

"Thank you."

"Welcome.  Are you staying down here?"

"I might go rehab the garden for a few weeks then go visit one of the others' cities to see other places.  I had planned on a road trip eventually."  That got a nod from them. "Sam, take my car to Stanford with you.  I had the title changed over last week."  Sam opened his mouth.  "You'll need it.  It's cheaper to live away from the college than right on top of it."  He looked at Don.  "Official trouble?"

"My director isn't one of us and he did throw a fit until he saw the feed.  Then he calmed down and said it was good someone was handling those matters.  The guys in the special dark suits already showed up and tried to confiscate everything.  Charlie copied the feed for us.  If they haven't showed up they probably won't.  You might be in the clear.  We're waiting for official word.  Charlie sent it to Fornell since he can get it to Homeland and our director at once.  So far I haven't heard anything from that side."

Gibbs found his phone and called.  "Fornell, Gibbs.  Do you need Xander to stay local?  He needs some quiet thinking time."  He smiled at the boy.  "Yeah, he did plan that.  All but the hellmouth opening.  They thought it might and made contingency plans but it got blocked open by falling debris.  That's why they did go there.  Thank you for that.  He was worried."  He listened, nodding slowly.  "I can do that.  LA with Don Epps.  Sure."  He hung up.  "They want a comprehensive report on what happened, when we knew, and how."  They all looked at Willow, who sat up and got it off her laptop for him.  "They wanted you three in DC to answer questions as well."

"Then I'll print that later," Willow said.  "I've got a migraine."  She went to lie down again.

"We can do that," Xander agreed.  "Do we need to worry about anything else, Agent Epps?"

"Not as far as I know.  You did good, kid.  Relax.  Rationalize it however.  You saved at least the lives of everyone in that town and you couldn't have prevented the hellmouth or evacuation deaths.  Even if you had trained Marines."

Xander nodded.  "Doesn't make me feel much better but thank you."

"That means you've got a deep soul, kid.   That's always a good thing."  He left them alone, going to report to his boss.

Xander looked at them.  "I'll go work on the garden after that, Gibbs."

"That's fine, kid.  However long you need.  You know that."  He patted him on the back.  "We think you did good too.  You couldn't have prevented the losses and mourning them speaks well of you."  The boy nodded.  "Go rest.  You've got to be exhausted.  Take Dean to cuddle for the nightmares."  That got a nod and he went to bed.  Faith and Sam went to their room.  The rest of them went to find their choice of relaxation after bad cases and battles.

***

Stella hung up with Mac, going to watch the tv in the break room.  She found Danny and Hawkes staring.  "Mac said they're all fine."  Hawkes looked at her.  "He was there for a friend's grad, Sheldon."  She patted Danny on the back.  "He's in a bar but he's fine."

"Why?" he asked quietly.

"The situation we heard about."  He looked at her.  She nodded.  "That's what solved it."

"Fuck," he muttered.  Don stomped in and looked at the tv.  "Mac said he's fine and so's everyone else."

"They'd better be," he said, pissed as hell.  "Why didn't Mac ask for backup?"

"Tony, Jethro, and Horatio went.  As well as John and Dean," Stella said.  "Mac said half the deaths were from the sinking."  Don relaxed a bit.  "But it was bad.  He was in a bar."

Don looked at the tv again.  That looked really bad.  "The kids?"

"Abby's in DC," Danny said.  "Faith and Xander should be fine if everyone's fine.  Probably a bit sick and shaky.  I'd be sick and shaky."

"They said that's a gas explosion that caused sinking when the pipes blew underground," Sheldon said.

Stella looked at him.  "Would pipes blowing underground cause sinking, Sheldon?"

"Probably not," he admitted.

"That wasn't a gas explosion.  It was necessary to save lives."  He nodded at that.  Lindsay leaned in.  "Mac's okay.  He was where that gas explosion went off."

"That's good."  She came in to watch, shuddering.  "It looks like how I imagine hell."

Adam and Sid walked in together to get a drink and dinner respectively.  Sid stopped to stare at the screen.  "Mac?"

"Fine," Stella said.  "At the bar.  He called."  Sid relaxed.

Adam looked then at Sid.  "That looks like an all-hands situation."

"Gas main explosion plus underground pipes going too," Sheldon said, looking at them.  Adam snorted at that.  He shrugged.  "That's what the new mayor said.  Apparently the old mayor was speaking at the graduation when it exploded.  Thankfully only twenty-seven deaths."

"Thank God," Lindsay said.  Danny nodded.  "Should I tell you what I found, Stella?  Or should I wait?"

"Give me ten.  I'll meet you in your lab."

"I'm upstairs in layout."  She fled.

Don shook his head.  "That's another reason why I don't like her."

Danny smirked.  "Usually you like everyone as long as they don't take a leak on your car or your shoes."

"Yeah, well, I'm being more discriminating today."  Sheldon gave him a look.  "What?"

"She's not that bad."

"Yes she is."  He looked at Adam.  "You too?"

"Um...."

Don smiled.  "Priest Don, son of Jethro," he mouthed.  Adam shuddered.  "We're sure everyone's okay, Stella?"

"Mac said so."

"Good.  We'll call tomorrow.  Let them get some rest."  He left to go swear in the alley.  Mac should've taken him.  Xander had to rely on too many untrained kids.

Adam looked at Stella, who winked.  "That explains a lot," he said, flicking his ear.  She smirked.  "Okay then."  He subtly pointed at Danny.  She nodded.  He nodded back and let it go.

Sid shook his head.  "The young these days."  He sat down beside Sheldon.  "How was your day?"

"Not too bad," he admitted.  "Thankfully."  That got a smile.  Stella and Danny left.  "What is going on, Sid?"

"I can't tell you, Sheldon.  You can only make educated guesses and talk to Mac."

"Yes, sir."  He finished up and went back to work.  A few of the other techs were watching the online news feed.  "Mac was there but he's fine.  He called Stella."  They smiled and got back to work.  He went to his own lab to get back to his current case.  He had a lot of questions and a lot of thoughts that didn't make logical sense.

***

McGee hung up and relaxed.  "Kate, everyone's fine."  She quit pacing.  "That was Tony.  They're all fine.  They managed to evacuate and help some of those evacuating.  They'll be back in two days for the Homeland debriefing with a few of the kids who were closer to the front of the explosion."

"Sure.  That's good news," she said.  The director walked over.  "Tony called McGee.  Everyone's safe."

"That's good.  Why wouldn't they be?"  McGee put the current news feed up onto the main screen for their pod.  She gasped.  "Jethro was there?  I thought he was nearby.  Near the earthquake portion."

"He went to see a few friends graduating," Kate told her.  "They're saying a gas main explosion."  Abby came bouncing in.  "They're good."

"Gibbs called."  She gave her a hug then McGee a hug.  She looked at Ziva.  "Want one?"

"I'm good, thank you, Abby."  She went back to watching.  "There's no way that was a gas explosion."

"Homeland agreed with the analysis after watching some tapes from the crowd who was attending," McGee said, switching the feed to that conference where he was assuring everyone most everyone was safe.  There were very few deaths from it.  "They're bringing back a few of the kids to ask more detailed questions of but it's all but sealed," he told her.

She smiled, leaning on his shoulder.  "That's good.  You should meet Xander."  She went back to watching.  "Anything on the freaky, hinky, and paranoid sites yet? There usually is."

He typed into one he liked.  "A lot but it's not a giant worm demon."  They all snorted at that.  Even though he knew it had to be.  There was no way that was a gas explosion.  The director walked off to try to call Gibbs.  He texted Tony to warn him.  Also that someone had screwed with her memories.  He would warn Gibbs.  He also sent the web address of the page to his coworker's phone so they could manage it.  That site was seriously strange.   It had fairies and elves working in various federal agencies; their clan fighting being the cause of lack of cooperation between agencies.  Someone took too many drugs, even if they did get a few facts right.  He found another site with feed from the battle, staring at it.  She glanced down then stared.  He sent the address to himself then closed the browser and erased the history.  She smiled at him for that.

Kate shook her head.  "Okay, let's get back on the case now that we know everyone's all right."  They nodded, getting back to work.  "Abby, do you have anything for us?"

"No.  I did have to put Ducky down on his couch because he nearly keeled over at the news of the explosion.  He said his report will be done soon."  She walked off to let him know what they had found.

Kate shook her head.  "She'll be surfing conspiracy sites while things run later."  They turned their attention back to the case at hand.  Robbery.

***

Eric watched the news, grabbing onto the back of the couch in front of him.  Horatio wasn't answering his phone.  The other techs and most of the lab was in there with him.

Yelina walked in.  "I heard from Horatio.  His phone broke during the fleeing.  He is fine and he'll be back in two days."  They all sighed in relief.  "He said to get back to work and quit worrying.  He helped with some of the evacuation."  They nodded, getting back to what they should be doing.

Ryan Wolfe fingered the hidden tip of his ear, watching the replay.  He went to call his clan leader from the break room.  He told him what had happened and that everyone was safe.  He relaxed and was able to get back to work too.  Someone should kiss that guardian set.  They were wonderful.  Too bad they were taken by the rumors.

Eric looked at him.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  Thinking.  I have a few friends who live a few hours away.  I'm sure they're fine.  I'll call tomorrow morning in case the sinkhole set off some mild aftershocks in the quake faults," he lied.

"I'm sure they're fine.  Anything on this new homicide?"

"Chainsaw."  He handed over that picture with a mental sigh of pleasure for changing the subject.

***

Xander came out of the Department of Homeland Security, stretching up and then out.  Willow ducked under his arm.  "Sorry, had the life sucked out of me."

"A few demons can do that from across the room," Buffy agreed.  She walked around him.  "Now what?"

"Now I'm going to go rehab the garden so it won't eat us."  She smiled, nodding a bit.  "Then I'll visit Miami to scope bikinis, then New York for a bit of culture.  Maybe hit a museum here before I go."  They nodded, going to catch a cab back to their hotel.  He found the subway and asked information how to get to the shipyards.  It got him relatively close and the bus got him closer to the base.  He bought a pass and went to find his clan.  He made it to the gate and the guards gave him an odd look for being on foot.  "I'm visiting and Jethro Gibbs told me to check in with him.  The bus doesn't go inside."

"That would be a security breach if it did," one guard said.  He checked the manifest.  "I'm not sure if they're in on a case or out, sir."

"I can wait if there's someplace nice close by."

"There's a coffeeshop on base," he said with a point.  "I need to see your ID please, sir?"  Xander held up a finger and dug it out for him, letting him look it over, take note, then pat him down.  "Sorry, we have to be security conscious."

"Of course you do."  He took his driver's license back.  "Thank you.  It's good you guys are so thorough.  I'd hate to have to  hunt someone for hurting Uncle Jethro."  The guard smiled at that.  He grinned back and went inside.  He found the NCIS building and asked the information/reception desk in there.  "Jethro Gibbs asked me to check in with him.  Is he in please?  Him or Tony?"

"Let me check, sir," he said, calling up there.  "Ma'am, I have a visitor here for Gibbs or DiNozzo.  Name, sir?"

"Xander.  Abby knows me as well but I'd never do more than say hi.  She's a very busy woman."

He smiled.  "Bouncy too."

"Well, yeah, but so am I.  That's something I consider normal and you guys who don't bounce to be strange."

The female on the other end of the line laughed.  He hung up.  "Agent Todd said they're out interviewing.  It'll be about an hour.  Would you like to come back, sir?"

"Which way to the coffeshop?"  It was pointed at.  "Thank you."  He headed that way, getting himself something to drink.  He went outside to admire the sun.  It wasn't as strong here as it was at home.  A guard stomped his way.  "Special Agent Gibbs told me to check in but he's off interviewing so I'm waiting, guys.  Am I breaking a law by standing on the grass?  Because if I am I'll go sit inside and not pay any attention to anything."

"Most people don't wander around, sir."

"Then why put the statues up?"

"To spend leftover money in the budget so they don't lose it."

"Oh, that makes a lot of sense.  Thank you."  He grinned.  "Let me go back inside the coffee shop until they get back."

"Thank you, sir."

"I didn't mean to panic anyone.  Sorry."  He went back inside.  He saw a redheaded woman and turned away, shaking his head.  Jethro had to have better taste than that.  He got a magazine and a refill of his soda, sitting down to read it until it was time.  The woman came over to stare at him.  He looked up at her.  "Am I in your seat, ma'am?"

"At least you're a polite little liar.  Gibbs doesn't have any siblings."

"Who said it wasn't an uncle in quotes, ma'am?"  She gaped.  "Really.  Plenty of people have uncles and aunts who are their parents' friends.  I have about three.  If you doubt my story, ask Abby.  She knows me."  He went back to reading.  She snatched the book.  He sighed and took it back.  "Unless you're going to reimburse me for that, ma'am, I'm being a good boy for the moment."  He shifted so his back was to the wall and sipped his soda.  He stared at her.  "Do you think I'm that fascinating?  Because the staring is just creepy for a woman your age to a man my age."  She stomped off.  He wiggled his fingers after her.  "Have a better day," he called after her.  "And may the Force grant you peace."  He went back to reading, ignoring the giggling from another corner.  Some people really did have ego problems.  She came back with two MP's.  He looked at them.  "She was making me creeped out by staring at my young butt."

"She's the director of NCIS, sir."

"And I'm being a good boy waiting on Jethro Gibbs.  She came over to harass me.  I'm not sure *why*.  Apparently she's having a sucky day."

"She wanted you arrested, sir."

"You know what, call Jethro," he said, pulling out his phone.  "You can get the number by pushing the 3 button if you don't have it.  Or go in through the menu like always."

"It's off."

Xander sighed.  "I was at Homeland being debriefed about the gas explosion."  He turned it on.  They flinched.  "Guys, I'm good but not that good."  He found the number, putting it down so he could read it.  "There you go.  Tony DiNozzo's is the next one and two later is Abby Sciuto's."

"She's in the lab, we can verify with her," one said, calling down there.  "Miss Scuito, we have a young man here who says he's Jethro Gibbs' nephew?  The director is very disturbed by him."

"And all I was doing was reading and drinking a soda," Xander added.  "Clearly someone has an issue."  He glared at her.  She went to hit him and he blocked it with the magazine. She tried it again.  "Try it again, lady.  Find out how comfy the floor is."  She tried to punch him.  He kicked her into a table and knocked her out when it flipped up to hit her.  "Told you so."  He looked at the MP's.  "She made me."

"She did, sir."  He listened to Abby.  "She said to please calm down, Mr. Harris?"

He took the phone.  "She tried to hit me, Abby.  I gave her a warning.  I've been nothing but polite and nice.  She stomped over while I was drinking a soda and reading a magazine.  This was all her play."  He smiled. "Please."  He hung up.  "She'll call Gibbs herself.  That way he can clear it up."

"That would be fine, sir.  Would you agree to voluntarily come down to the office?"

"As long as you arrest her for trying to assault me," Xander said.  "Or else I get to sue her and the agency for it."  They groaned.  "I'm a kid from near LA, guys.  Honestly, I'm not going to let someone try to hit me."  He stood up and turned off his phone.  "Other than that, yes I'll go with you voluntarily.  Not where she chooses however."

"That's fine, sir.  We have a security office."

"We can pull the tapes from in here?"  She groaned. He looked down.  "I'm sure my lawyer would be very pleased to see her try to hit me."  She sat up holding her head.  He looked at the MP's again.  "Can we?"

"We can so Agent Gibbs can see and make a judgement call about who to yell at."

"That's reasonable to me as well."  He gathered his drink and magazine.  "Shall we?  She and her ho shoes can follow us."

"Sir," one moaned.

Xander grinned.  "Only women who want something wear heels that high.  They're too uncomfortable for anything else from what I'm told."  He followed them out, walking over her.  He went back to reading when they sat him in a seat.  The head MP saw the film and came out to talk to him.  He looked up.  "I warned her."

"You did.  How did you do that?  It was a nice move, kid."

He grinned.  "I'm from three hours outside LA.  One of my friends is a very good fighter.  I've worked with her and a few others.  Including on some sword work."

He smiled.  "That's fine.  You'll stay here?"

"Until Gibbs gets here.  I was more than polite and calmly waiting on him to get done."

"I know, sir.  I checked.  I'll tell Gibbs that."  He went to talk to him, getting DiNozzo.  "Sir, after watching the tape, the boy was not doing anything wrong.  The director jumped on him.  He did warn her not to try to hit him after the second time and only pushed her with a foot into another table to knock her out.  He was polite to the gate guards, the MP's who wanted to know why he was looking at the statues, all of us.  He's been a very good boy and he made himself very clear.  Even if he did threaten to sue her for assaulting him."  He smiled.  "I'm sure Gibbs will growl but I would suggest he look at the tapes first, Agent DiNozzo.  The boy is being good.  He's sitting in the security office reading a magazine.  The same one he was reading in the caf.  Please.  She's not here."  He laughed.  "I'm sure he will growl, sir.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "DiNozzo said about twenty more, kid."

"That's fine.  They're busy on a case.  I'm not going to interrupt.  Jethro wanted me to check in after I finished getting debriefed."  The head MP gave him an odd look.  "It was my graduation that had the gas explosion.  They wanted to make sure no one set it off."

"That's reasonable of them."  He went back to his office.  The kid went back to reading.  He was nice and calm, that was a good thing.  Abby came in and she wasn't calm.  She was nagging. "Ma'am," he chided from his desk.  "It wasn't his fault.  He was being a good boy.  Better than some boys in boot camp.  All he did was read and sip a soda."

She sighed.  "That director is being an absolute woofing creature."

Xander shrugged.  "Why insult half of all the dogs in the world?  Or even werewolves?"  She gaped then burst out laughing.  He grinned and went back to reading.  "I'm being a good boy.  I was then."  Gibbs stomped in.  "I didn't start it.  I was sitting and reading."

"Tapes?" Gibbs demanded.  They were pointed at.  He sat down to watch them, then nodded.  "You were being a good boy."  He looked at him.  "You called me Uncle Jethro?"

"Plenty of kids have non-related aunts and uncles.  I pointed that out to her when she accused me of lying.  Which would normally get my fist in her nose."  He gave him a look. "I'm following orders.  I came to see you when they got done with me.  I was polite to everyone, even apologized when I panicked a few guys by waiting while looking at the statues you have.  One explained it as they were using up a budget surplus so they wouldn't lose it when I asked."

"Sometimes," he admitted.  "Where is she?" he demanded.

"Her office according to the building's security guards, Gibbs.  He was very reasonable.  Most of my boys would've tried to hit her back."

"I would've," Abby said, giving Xander a hug.  "You're my favorite cousin."  He grinned. "Can I have him back?"

"You may.  Should we expect a subpoena for the tapes, sir?  You did threaten to sue her."

"I'm thinking about it."  Gibbs glared.  "I may let him sway me."  That got a smile and a nod.  "Thank you for your assistance earlier."  He shook his hand, then the two MP's hands.  "Thank you as well."  He handed Abby the magazine.  "It has a new fashion series that's almost laughable."

She flipped through it while they walked.  She did burst out laughing.

"Since when did you read that Hollywood gossip trash?" Tony asked.

"I was.  The new spring line is so bad it's hilarious.  I can't wait to see Buffy trying it out."

Tony looked and snickered.  "It is."  He clapped Xander on the back.  "Can we not behave?"

"I was!"

"He was," Gibbs admitted.  "You still can't sue her, Xander."

"Fine," he muttered.  "I'd have a killer road trip fund if I did."

"Literally.  She was CIA trained."

"Never mind.  This is my evil woman drawing skills.  No wonder she tried to attack me."

Tony cackled.  "You're so bad, Xander."

"I try really hard not to be," he offered with a grin.

"Try harder," Gibbs ordered.  He let them into NCIS headquarters.

"Agent Gibbs, the director said he is not allowed in."

"We're going to talk about him suing her for assaulting him," Tony said.  The guard gaped.  "He was waiting and being good.  She came to hurt him on purpose.  She's lucky she's not in jail for attempted assault."

"Yes, sir."  He got him a visitor's pass once he marked down his information.  "Sunnydale?"

"The gas explosion was my graduation.  I was in town to be debriefed about if anyone set the explosion off."

"Did someone?"

"Homeland's paranoid," Xander said.  "The local investigators said that the mayor's mike sparked and set off a leak."  That got a nod.  "I'm sorry she dragged you into this."  He leaned closer.  "For some reason evil women all want to conquer me and kill me before they love me."  The guard gave him a horrified look before bursting out laughing.  He grinned.  The metal alarm went off a few times but he finally figured it was his necklace and took it off.  "Sorry, heirloom."

"We understand, sir."  It was handed back.  Xander put it back on and reattached the scythes out of view.  "Have a good meeting, sir."

"Thank you."  They got onto the elevator.  He looked at Gibbs.  "I tried."

"I know you did, Xander."  He patted him on the back.  "We'll figure it out."

"Are you sure I can't sue her?"  Gibbs got him on the head.  "Ow!  That's your special Tony love swat, not for me."

"Bet me," Gibbs said dryly.  They got off on his floor.  "This is my nephew, in quotes, Xander."  Xander grinned and waved.  "If he needs to reach me, or his twin sister Faith, they are to reach me no matter what."  That got a nod from Kate.  "Faith is a willowy, tough brunette who looks a bit younger but is very well built to fight."  Tony handed over a picture.  "I forgot you had one of her."

"Who's the boy?" Kate asked.

Gibbs looked.  "Dean.  Xander's possible mate."

Kate smiled at him.  "He's cute."

"Especially when he's in trouble for not calling for a week," he agreed smugly.  She laughed and handed the picture back.  "I'm sorry they bothered you guys.  I was trying very hard to be good."

"It happens," McGee said.  He smirked at Xander.  "I saw your picture on Reggies' site the other day.  How did he get a kindergarten picture?"

"I have no idea.  Do I know Reggie?"  McGee pulled it up to show him.  "Aww, I was adorable."  He grinned.  "I'll have someone go pounce him to tickle him for that."  Because tickling would kill that demon in a very horrible, mean way.

Gibbs looked, smiling at the cute little kid with the missing tooth and the messy hair that was nearly sticking straight up.  "It is a cute picture, Xander."  He sat down.  "Sit."  Xander sat beside him.  "We'll hit dinner soon."

"Sure."  He looked at the picture.  "Why would someone stab him with a halberd?"  McGee choked.  "It is by the depth and shape.  I didn't think the Marines used those anymore.  And why is he wearing an Army combat ribbon?"  Gibbs gaped so he shifted, pointing at one.  "That's the Army version, not the Marine version.  Right?"

Gibbs took the magnifying glass Tony handed him to look.  "I'll be damned, it is."  He looked at the boy.  "Good spotting, Xander.  Don't pay attention to the case."

"Okay.  If you want my opinion you'll ask."

"It's more for the victim's privacy and the privacy of his family," Kate said.

"That's fine.  I get that.  If I got impaled I wouldn't want to have others say it either."

"I said he was not to be here," the director shouted from the MTAC walkway.

Xander looked up.  "He's trying to talk me out of suing you, ma'am.  After all, assault is a bad thing."  She gaped then stomped off.  "Worm lover," he muttered.  Tony gave him a dirty look.  "Not like she'd take anything higher."

"She's not that bad," Gibbs said impatiently.

"Then she should leave me alone," Xander pointed out dryly.

"She should.  She's being irrational for some reason.  Who would have a halberd in DC?"

"Were they used in any of the wars people recreate?" Xander asked.  "Or are they maybe D&D reenactors?  I used to play a priest who carried one."

McGee was searching on his computer.  "There is a shop specializing in medieval weapons, boss.  They might have a name for us," he offered, sending it over.

"Take a closeup of the wound and measurements there.  See if he can identify a specific type and give us a name," Gibbs ordered, handing it to Tony.  "Take McGee.  He talks geek like they do."  He nodded, taking him off.  "Good spotting," he said quietly.  Xander preened.  "How did it go?"

"Not too bad."  Two FBI agents walked in.  "Hi, guys.  You were there this morning.  This is my uncle Jethro."

"Mr. Harris."  He looked at Gibbs.  "She's freaking out."

"Means she's evil because only evil chicks like me," Xander quipped with a grin.  "After all, Kate's not flaking out to get me into a compromising position where I'd have to give into her sick, sad, and demented desires."  Both agents gaped then one burst out laughing.  Gibbs got him on the head.  "Ow!"

"Quit, Xander."  He looked at them.  "What did she want?"

"Him to be arrested and sent to Gitmo as a threat to the US."

"He's not, only to her sanity because she started it," Gibbs said.  "She attacked him."

"So said the head of security when we talked to him," the giggling agent said.  "We saw the tape."

"He doesn't want me to sue her."

"It could cause you problems, sir."

"He'll be leaving DC later tonight," Gibbs said.  That got a nod and they went to tell her that.  Gibbs would be talking to her later.  She screamed in fear and Cynthia came running out of the office.

Xander sighed, looking at him.  "Am I that good of a good guy?"

"Usually."  He went up to check.  He found the agents pinned down by some vicious little flying things.  "What are you?"

Xander leaned in.  "Pixies."  He threw something at them, making them shriek and meld together to make one super, giant pixy.  "That's new.  Giles said you guys couldn't do the 'Zoid thing.  That's no fair."  He threw something else and they broke apart with a shriek.  Xander patted himself down.  "No more holy water," he said in a sing-song manner.  "Out!"  The agents left and Xander kicked the door shut, pulling his necklace off to remove his scythes.  He waved one.  "C'mon.  I'm here and you obviously made a mistake by doing it at my uncle's work."  The director started to say something so he kicked her in the jaw, knocking her out again.

The pixies lunged.  He cut into the ones getting near him.  Some cut him.  One got his forehead.  One got his chin to cheek.  He ducked and got it as it flew past the next time.  The last six tried to join again.  He threw a scythe and lunged with the other one.  Four died in one swipe.  He grabbed his second one again to scissor cut one of the last ones.  The other screamed and hid inside a cabinet.  Xander squatted down to get it out.  He got a foot.  It clawed at him.  "Ow!"  He swatted it into a wall.  It flew out with its claws out, aiming for his face.  He blocked it with one scythe then smacked the other one into it.  It fell down out cold so he sawed its head off.  He stood up, looking around.  The lights, no shadows.  The shadows had nothing moving.  He opened the door, holding up a hand.  One little blur tried to get past but Tony shot it.  "Nice shot."

"Thank you.  Need to see Ducky?"

"I'm not a vamp," he snorted.  "All I need is a wash cloth."  Another blur tried to shoot out so he threw a scythe.  It stuck in the wall with the pixy clamoring to get free.  It was yelling 'police brutality' and 'set the pixies free'.  "Don't make me cut off your head," he sneered, leaning down next to it.  "I'm on Buffy's team," he hissed.  It shrieked in outrage and pain.  "If you do not answer me, I will go after your whole village.  I will bring Buffy and my twin, Faith."  He tipped the little head up.  "Do you understand me?"  It nodded quickly.  "Why are you here? There were too many of you for anything but an attack or a debt."

"We were paid," it whimpered. "Please!"

Xander grinned.  "Who paid you to take her out?"

"Overlord Jethro."

"Him?" he asked with a point.  "My uncle?"  The pixy gave him a horrified look, turning its head almost all the way around to see the scythe holding it to the wall.  Xander held up the other one.  "Know any other Xander that hunts demons?"

The pixy let out a loud wail and started to rip at its chest.  Xander smacked it on the head, making it moan and shake its head to clear it.  "That's not nice!"

"Me or Faith, baby.  Who sent you?  And why?  If you were swarming, you'd have eaten her already.  I would've come in to bones."

"Lord Favreta wanted her.  She's been stepping on toes.  She's been causing problems in other agencies too.  He said the game's no fun with her playing.  We were to bring her to them, injured or not, and then we'd get her when he was done."

"Favreta is what sort of demon and from where?" Jethro demanded coolly.  "Tell me and I'll make him let you go."

"Why?" Xander asked.

"As a messenger that we'll be making them pay if they try it again."  He looked at the little thing.  "Tell.  Me.  Now," he snarled.  It babbled at him about the demon.  Xander took some paper to take notes.  "Where do I find him?"

"At the CIA," Xander said.  "He already said that.  He said he's at Langley."  He looked in the office, then removed the scythe, putting them both back on the necklace then putting the necklace back on.  "Tell him I'm coming, little one.  I'll have a lot of fun coming all over this one.  Even though she tried to be mean to me."  He smirked evilly.  "Pity."  The pixy whimpered, looking at Jethro.

"We won't let him go to Langley.  We'll call him out instead.  Have him come over for dinner."  The pixy disappeared in a pop of noise.  He heard another one.  "There was another one?"

"I didn't see one," Xander said.  "Could've been inside the toilet I guess."  He shrugged.  "Check her for bites."  He grinned at Tony.  "I need to practice more.  I couldn't have split a wing that way."  Guards rushed in, pointing guns at him.  "I don't have one," he said dryly.  "Tony shot it."  He walked off shaking his head.  "I'm going for more coffee.  Bring you back some, Jethro or Tony?"

"Please," Tony called.  "Gibbs?"

"Tell them to give you mine and DiNozzo's special.  They know what to give you," Gibbs called.  "Guys, let's go check on the director."  They walked in, looking at the little bodies. "They attacked her.  Yes, DiNozzo shot one."  Xander came back ten minutes with a small tray of coffee cups and two larger ones for him and DiNozzo.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome, Jethro."  He looked at the bodies then hummed.  "Not bad."  He sipped his new soda that had been sitting in his pocket.  The guards stared at him.  "Yes, I do this sort of thing at home.  If it hadn't been a hit from something else, she'd have been eaten before I got up here."  He took another sip.  "By the way, I knocked her out so I didn't have to hear a screaming woman to distract me."

"Who are you?" the guard demanded.

"Xander."

"Is that like Cher?" one asked.  "Only one name?"

"In that world.  Yes."  That got a shudder.  "Exactly."  He took another drink, looking at the director.  "She's starting to wake up.  Let me go back to your desk, Jethro."

"How do we deal with these?" Tony asked.

"Broom, fireplace.  Ask Ducky if you can borrow a cremating oven?"  He shrugged and walked off.  The agents were huddled at Gibbs' desk.  "Done."  They ran back up there.  He looked at McGee.  "How many halberds?"

"Seventeen in the city that they know of.  What was that?"

"Pixies," he mouthed.

"Eww."

"Sent."

"So, not food?"

"No.  Not food."

"Xander, next time be more gentle when you save someone distracting you," Tony called from the walkway.  "That's a verbatim order."

"Sorry."

"I'll tell him."  He went back in there.  He came back.  "Tell the probie there.  I think he knows."  He went back in there.  Gibbs gave him an odd look.  "He sent me a site with real- time files of the gas explosion, boss."  Jethro groaned.

Xander looked at McGee.  "Hi, Xander Harris."

"I know."

"On Buffy's crew.  Twin brother to Faith somewhere else."

McGee swallowed.  "So the overlord stories?"  Xander smirked.  "Oh.  So that's how...."  Xander fingered his necklace.  "Good to know.  Thank you for telling me."

"Welcome.  Jethro said so."  That got a quick nod.  "Want to help them sweep?"

"No.  Want shown to the head so you can clean up the cuts?"

"Please."

"I'll show you."  He walked him to the bathroom then went upstairs.  "I showed him the head, boss."

"Thank you.  DiNozzo, go check on him.  He's a big one about hiding.  Call Dean on him if you have to."

"Yes, boss."  He jogged down the stairs, going to find Xander.  He pushed him against the sink, looking at the cuts.  "Only those?"

"Two on my chest, one on my wrist, and a bite on the same wrist."  He took off his shirt, letting Tony wet down paper towels to help him clean them up.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He looked at him.  "Stitches?"  He found one on his upper back and got that one too since the boy couldn't reach it.

"We're good."

"Uh-huh.  I should ask Ducky."  He checked one.  "Those claws are sharp and long."

"Pixies are nasty things.  I hate those.  I can't stand them.  But at least they weren't swarming to eat her."

"Not much better."  Tony checked another one.  "That one's even deeper."  He pulled out his phone but Xander took it.  "Not gonna work, Xander.  It's Ducky or I'm calling Dean."  Xander made a whimpering noise.  "Don't make me get Jethro down here to order you himself.  Or Abby.  As the heir she can order any and all members of the clan.  Even the ones I can't."  He grabbed the phone, calling her.  "Need you and Ducky in the men's head to clean up some pixy injuries on Xander."  He hung up, staring him down.

"They're not that bad."

"You only complain and try to hide when it is.  One more and I'm calling Dean.  I'd have to call Sam to find him...."  Xander slumped, shaking his head.  "Good."  Abby knocked then walked in.  "Someone sent pixies after the director."

"She's had a crappy day."  Ducky walked in.  "Xander took on pixies."

"I loathe those things.  They do great damage to bodies and you can never explain them to normal people.  Hello, Mr. Harris.  Ran into them in Sunnydale before?"

"You knew about Sunnydale?" Abby asked.

"Of course, dear.  I'm the priest above Stella."  She beamed. "Let's see."  Xander tried to move.  Tony started to dial.  Xander moved back.  Tony didn't quit dialing so Xander snatched the phone and turned it off.  Then he threw it against a wall with a scowl for Tony.

"Yeah, that'll work," Tony said dryly.

"I'm cooperating.  You don't have to call Dean."

"Good," Abby said happily, kissing him on the cheek.  She bounced out and called Sam anyway.  "Hi, Faith.  It's Abby.  No, looking for Dean's new number since he had to replace it after Sunnydale."  She wrote it down.  "Oh, just a bit.  Some pixies came to take out the director."  She laughed.  "Yes, he did.  That's why I'm calling.  He's cooperating but he wasn't going to.  Exactly.  Ducky is.  Thank you."  She hung up and called it.  "Hi, Dean.  It's Abby."  She beamed.  "Yes he was.  Pixies.  A few cuts.  He wasn't cooperating so Tony threatened to call you.  I thought I would so you wouldn't worry about him.  No, saving the life of an evil wench who wouldn't leave him alone earlier.  Yes, the director."

She laughed.  "He's got a few cuts.  Ducky's stitching them if they need it.  Tony had to play tough and threaten to call you."  She 'aww'd.  "That's so cool.  Yeah, he's just now done.  Thanks, Dean.  No, just complaining."  She blew a kiss.  "Behave and be safe, Dean.  It's a dangerous world out there.  I got it from Sam."  He chuckled.  "See you soon."  She hung up and texted Tony's phone with that number and the info that Dean was nearly local.  Tony sent back a smiley face.  Dean would end up holding Xander down again tonight it looked like.

***

Xander looked up from dinner at the knock on the door, hand going to the knife in his pocket.

"Relax, no one would even think about it here," Gibbs said, heading for the door.  "John."

"Jethro.  Dean's tied up in the car.  For some reason he started to swear?"

"I cooperated," Xander complained, glaring at Tony.  "You didn't have to tell him."

"He didn't," Dean said as he walked past his father.  He handed over the handcuffs he had picked.  "Thanks, Dad, needed the practice anyway."  He walked in to look at his bitch.  "Abby called, not Tony."  Xander slumped, shaking his head.  He tipped his face up again.  "Something you want to tell me?"

"I wasn't sure I was good enough but apparently I was."

"Only ten cuts," Tony told him.  "One bite."

"Good!  Better than my last one."  He looked at the butterflies on his face.  He kissed him.  "At least you're okay."  Xander nodded.  "Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay.  Really.  She decided to leave me alone.  Forever and ever."

"Good!  You don't need more evil women after you."  He leaned down.  "Want some tylenol?"  Xander shook his head slowly.  "You sure?"

"He had some with the salad," Gibbs told him.  "I made him before I spanked him."

Dean grinned.  "I'll have to remember that."

"When did I mind being spanked by you?" Xander shot back, making Dean blush.  "Hmm."  He pulled him down to kiss again.  "Thank you for coming to see me before I go pull the garden out."

"We, Xander.  We."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "More evil chicks might come for you up there if I don't."

"You can go hunt."

"I will be.  There's still bastards and we need to paint our apartment."  Xander blushed.  "So we'll do that."

"We need money to do that.  The clan isn't rich."

"We don't need to be.  Paint's cheap."

Xander nodded, giving him a hug.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He kissed him again.  "Be good until we can go?"

"I'm trying really hard."

"Me too."

John shook his head.  "Sorry you have to witness Dean's lone mushy moment this year, Jethro."

"I was mushy when I was their age too," he said dryly.  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "I was."

"Uh-huh.  That how you got Tony?"

"Something like that."  He sat down and ate a bite.  "Food's on the stove.  Plates above it," he ordered.  He looked at Dean.  "No making out in my house."

"The castle too?" Xander teased.

"As long as I don't have to see it there, I'm good with it."  They both smirked at him.  "Dean, sit and eat."

"Dad shoved two double cheeseburgers down my throat on the way here."  He pulled Xander up, taking him to the bathroom to check him over.  "I hate pixies."

"I had my scythes.  Tony shot one."

"I'm proud of both of you.  We'll work on your aim so you can do it too."  Xander smirked.  "Do you have anything left in Sunnydale?"

"Some weapons, a few things in storage."

"We should look those over."  He handed him the t-shirt back.  "Let's go eat."  Xander nodded, going out there.  Dean looked up, shaking his head.  Pixies with a scythe?  He wasn't sure which was worse, him or Xander.  Jethro and John both gave him looks when he came out.  "They're fine.  Mostly shallow.   Should we bring food with us?"

"No, the harvest went well this year," Jethro told him.  That got a nod.  "You can both go up for a while if you want."

"We've got a job.  I'll go up after that."  Everyone nodded.  John handed him a plate.  "You made me eat already."

"A man needs food for proper wooing," John said.  "I ate a lot while chasing your mother."  Xander blushed.  "I did," he told the boy.  "Any man wooing needs his energy."

"I don't need wooed.  I'm not a girl.  If he wants to make a nice dinner I wouldn't mind but I don't need girl presents."

"Dean can barely cook but that's not a bad thing," John agreed, smiling at his son.  Those two were *so* alike about some things.  Dean grinned, eating another bite to hide it quickly.  "What're you doing while you're up there?"

"Stella wanted me to work on my temper's fuse to make it longer and the garden really needs a good sword to help it."

"It used to be a good walking garden.  Herbs, plants, some bushes.  Not flowers really but Alelea did add some here and there on me.  Right now, the garden would eat a person walking around it."  Jethro ate another bite.  "There's headlights out there."

"Going before she pounces me again," Xander quipped.  He took a kiss from Dean, gave Jethro a pat, and went to find the portal in the basement.  He stepped through and let it close behind him, glancing around.  Nothing appeared out of the ordinary.  He walked on, going past the throne room toward his apartment.

"Who was that?" a female voice shouted.

Xander backed up and walked in, crossing his arms over his chest.  "I could've sworn that was Jethro's seat.  Who in the fuck are you, lady?"  She gasped, backing away.  "Let me repeat that.  Who in hell are you and why are you in Jethro's chair?"

"Guards!"  Guards came running.

He looked at the familiar one.  "Am I in the wrong place or time?"

"No, Lord Xander."

The woman whimpered.  "Then why is she in Jethro's chair?"

"She is resting while we find the phone to call him."

"I'm here for the next few weeks to work on the garden.  It's my turn."  He looked at her.  "That was bad start to make."  He walked up there, staring at her until she moved.  He sat down.  "We take turns since most everyone has important new lives.  The curse did have us reborn."  She nodded quickly.  "Now, what did you need?"

"We wish to set up an alignment with this clan.  I'm sorry to have usurped his seat but I was feeling ill."

"Uh-huh.  What sort of alignment?"

"We would like a marriage alignment."

He considered it.  "With?"

"One of the more minor cousins.  We know we are not worthy of the heirs."

"All the main ones look like this."  She shuddered.  "As for the minor, more distant clan members, there's not many left.  We would have to talk to them, see what they wanted.  I doubt Jethro would force them unless there was going to be a war without having it.  He gave me the right to choose and Faith as well when it was our time."  She nodded quickly.  "I would have to talk to that clan member or he would.  Call them here."  The guard nodded, bowing to do that.  "As for right now, we're still working on undoing all the crap they did to the castle.  We have very few guest rooms that are open and the garden is fairly scary.  I'm here to weed it down with a sword actually.  I can get him onto this matter once I've talked with the clan member."

"Yes, Guardian Xander.  Thank you."

"Next time, don't try it on for size until right before the coronation."  He gave her a look.  She ducked her head.  "All right, find them rooms?"  The guards nodded.  "I'm going to mine to start a list of what needs to be fixed around here that I can do.  Starting with our room and the garden."  He looked around.  "Then some paint in here."  They smiled.  "I just got fed so don't worry about me for the night."  The guards nodded.

"Lord Xander, if I may ask, why are you injured?"

"I decided I was a good guy when Jethro's work director got attacked by pixies."  They all groaned.  "I'm fine.  They're big scratches.  Before anyone can complain to Dean, he's already seen them and said I was fine too."

"Usually he calls you better than fine," one teased.

Xander blushed.  "We're still working out that stuff, guys.  It's a good reason to repaint the bedroom though."  That got a few laughs.  "Okay, any other problems before I go to bed?"  They shook their heads.  "Good.  Let them know it's my turn on the problem patrol.  Horatio is on it when I'm not."  They nodded at that.  "Good.  Going to bed.  Let me know when the clan member comes in."  He got up and walked off humming.

The demon shuddered.  "He is very strong," she said quietly.

"Very," the guard agreed.  "Let us show you to the guest suite.  You're in luck, they found a good mattress for it."  She followed.  When the other clan member got there in the morning they showed her to where Xander was staring at some hideous plants.

"Lord Xander?" she said with a bow.

He looked over, sipping his coffee.  "Morning.  You're which cousin?"

"Is the overlord coming soon?"

"He's at work right now.  We're splitting responsibilities."   She looked confused.  "When the curse hit, it had us being reborn on earth as humans."

"I was wondering if you got cursed again."

"No, this is me now."

"Ah.  Where is Lord Jethro?"

"DC.  He's a federal agent.  Horatio and Mac are both officers who work in forensic police labs."

"Wow."

"Jethro does something similar.  Tony works on his team.  Abby's with them."

"That's interesting.  So you're taking turns?"

"Yes.  Stella wanted me to do some expansion on my temper's fuse.  Since my high school and part of the town just got blown up."  She went pale.  "Yes, I'm Buffy's Xander."

"Oh, dear."

"Faith's a slayer."

She wobbled and he helped her sit down.  "They truly wanted your part of the clan out of the way."

"Yeah, too bad they made me the memory key," he said with a happy grin.  She smiled weakly.  "Now, there was someone here who wanted to set up an alignment marriage with someone in your part of the clan.  As Jethro and Mac did for me, I'm going to do for you.  I want you to meet with them.  I want you to see if you can stand them.  At the same time, we'll be investigating them to see if there's anything too bad.  Then you and they can make your case to Jethro while I give whatever I find on them.  Agreed?"

"Agreed.  My mother would have me consider it based more on worth to the family."

"That's up to you.  I'd rather have someone I could stand to be around for the rest of my very long life."

"We only live to be thirty."

He smirked.  "Humans live to be ninety sometimes.  Sometimes older."

"Wow."

"Jethro's older than thirty."

"Maybe that changed when they cursed you."

"Maybe but I'll let Stella and Don look into that.  That's more their area of study."  She nodded quickly before standing up to dust herself off.  "Go meet with them.  Make a good decision in whatever way you want.  If you like the family but not the one offered, see if there's others if you want.  Then you'll make your case to Jethro in a week or so."

"Thank you, Xander."  She gave him a hug then went to the throne room.  She was handed a bottle of water.  "They imported it?"

"They did," the guard said.  "The town's filter needs changed.  They'll be out in a while.  They're bathing to get ready for the day."

"Let me freshen up as well."

"I've called Stella.  She said you can use one of the guest rooms in her suite.  We're still fixing what they did to the castle and most of the beds are uninhabitable."

"That would be wonderful.  I'll write her a nice thank you note."  He showed her that way once she had her bag.  It was a nice room but a bit over-decorated.  "Is this the priestess' taste?"

"No.  This was the taste of the usurpers.  Lord Horatio's room was filled with gaudy pictures in shiny frames."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  And beds made from Tolay sponges."

She scowled.  "That would disgust me as well.  Let me clean up."  She went to do that.  The guard waited until she was done to lead her to the room the others were setting up in.  "I'm glad to meet you, ma'am."

"You are very pretty and polite."  She shook her hand properly.  "Let us talk."

"Of course.  Xander told me to evaluate your offer then we can talk to the overlord in a week."

"That would work for me.  I've already informed my people to give the guardian whatever information he needed."

"That's wonderful.  Did you know about this curse?"

"Barely.  It's sad that they're now frail humans."

"Humans live to be over ninety he said."

"They're still in very fragile shells.  Lord Xander looked horrible last night."

"Pixies," the guard with them said.  "He had to take on Jethro's work boss to save her from a swarm with his scythes."

Both women shook their heads.  That was something only Xander or Faith would do.

***

Xander looked over as Jethro and Horatio walked out of their portals.  "Morning."  He got out of Jethro's seat and gave him a cup of coffee.  He waved the pot for Horatio, getting a head shake.  "Then we have a serious matter only the clan's leader can decide."

"What sort?" Horatio asked.

"A clan came to ask one of the young cousins for an alignment marriage."

"That's not a bad thing," Jethro said.

"I told her to get to know the ones she'd be deciding about for a week while I researched their clan.  Both in the library and among the merchants and others who travel."  He handed over his stack of notes.  "That's what I've heard about them.  I haven't heard anything too bad but they seem a bit materialistic.  They're traders though so I'd call that normal probably.  I did scare the crap out of her when I walked in and she was sitting in Jethro's chair."  They smiled at that.  "The clan member came the next day, talked to three different males of the clan and the woman who came to suggest it.  They're waiting on you to hear from them."

"That's a good plan," Jethro agreed.  He read it over handing it to Horatio.  "That's usually your job to sort things out."

"It is but he's done a lot of my work for me.  Thank you, Xander."

"You guys do important things.  We will have to finish fixing up the castle if the wedding is being held here."

Jethro looked at him.  "I noticed the new paint job.  Pretty decent.  Missed a few spots but it looks like you ran out of paint?"

"Yeah.  Two days ago."

"Do your room?" Horatio asked.

"No, I started in here.  I only got four gallons."

"We can fix that," Jethro promised.

"Paint's really expensive in town."

"I'll have Mac bring some over," Horatio said.  Xander grinned.  "Or possibly Dean."

"Can you guys please quit pushing?  If he wants to, he'll come."

"Is there a problem with him not coming?" Jethro asked.  He knew they were being pushy but Dean was showing up in a few hours.

"He doesn't always like to talk to me and things.  I don't think he's fully comfortable with all this.  The same as I'm not fully comfortable sometimes.  I feel like I should have pigtails too."

"It's not that," Dean said from the doorway.  "It's the distance where I'm roaming to hunt and you're not."   He walked over, making Xander look at him.  "No pushing needed.  I want to be here with you."  He swatted him on the arm.   "We're working it out, right?"

"We are, but I don't want them to push you toward anything you're not comfortable with."

"Xander, no one can do that.  I'm more stubborn than even Jethro is."  Xander blushed.  "Really.  If I don't want to do something, you'll know."

"You never answer your phone."

"Are you using the new number?" Jethro asked.

"New number?" Xander asked.

Dean moaned.  "I could've sworn I gave you the new number, Xander."  He patted him again. "I thought I emailed it to you."

"I haven't checked my email in months.  I hardly ever do.  Willow usually checks it for me when she's bored.  She hasn't said anything and I know she's been in there a few times."

"Huh.  We'll work that out," Dean promised.  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Are we done with the reporting?  I wanted to see what he's done with our room."

"Nothing.  Paint's really expensive up here and there's almost no color selection.  I did what I could in here."

"We can go at it," Dean agreed.  "I've done some day work on construction crews."  Xander gave him an interested look.  "I can teach you what I know, Xander."  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Good.  Horatio, can we get more paint from home?"

"I texted Mac to bring some.  Do you boys need anything for yours?"

"We'll decide that then I'll go pick it up.  It's not fair to let anyone pay for our room but ourselves."

"Good," Jethro agreed.  "I've got to figure out where they put the money we used to have."

"I was told it was locked in a dungeon but I couldn't find it.  All I found was two prisoners who were really mean."

"Tell me they didn't use it all as a bounty?" Jethro moaned.  Xander shrugged.  "Did they have any?"

"No clue," Xander admitted.  "I have gotten part of the main walking path cleaned up though."

"Good job.  That was one I wasn't looking forward to by any means."  Xander beamed.  "Go look at your room with Dean so Mac can bring stuff for you guys too."  They went to do that.  "They're both insecure," he said quietly.

"It's new for them, Jethro.  Especially for Xander."  He looked at the other man.  "His parents drank a lot."

"Hell."

"Very.  He went missing and no one filed a missing person's report while he was traveling."

"Can we smack 'em around?"

"The boy might not let you but we'll see."

Jethro nodded.  "Okay.  Look into that?  The money thing.  I'll ask Xander if we can smack the human parents around later."

"Sure."  He went to talk to the guards that had managed to stay on during the others' reign.

Jethro settled in to talk to his clan member first.  "Where's the cousin?"  The guard had her brought in.  "How was your week?"

"I don't particularly like the one they wanted.  He's a bit shallow.  He does good in business but he doesn't do much beyond that.  He'd leave me all alone with any and all eggs he might come home long enough to create.  His brother is good, but he has ideas that are a bit fanciful.  I'm not sure they'd work but he'd be home a lot more.  There was one I did like more.  He has modest business successes.  He doesn't mind if I join him in the business.  We went to similar schools and we both agree I'm not going to be a trophy wife, even if we do have phenomenal successes."  She paused.  He waved her to go on.  "That one I only met a few days ago but I would like permission to bring him to my parents or bring my parents here to meet him."

"All right.  What's the guy like?"

She smiled.  "He's a bit cool towards most people but he will talk to you.  He won't put me down and I will be insisting that the marriage contract has penalties if he doesn't treat me well enough."

"Good.  Are you prepared to spend your whole life with him?

"I think I could be.  My mother would wish for the first one but he's not interested in anything but his money."

"You do the best you can with what you can find and what attracts you," Jethro told her.  "We would insist on clauses that say he may not harm you."

"Thank you, clan leader."

"My last ex-wife hit me on the head with a baseball bat.  I don't want anyone to go through that."

"Do humans really live to be ninety?"

"Average is about seventy but some do.  Some don't make it to that age with full mental capacities but some do."

"Interesting.  Xander told me that."

"Boys like Xander are going to be lucky to make it to my age because they jump into dangerous situations.  Dean and Faith as well."

"What did happen to his face?"

"My work director was attacked by a swarm of pixies sicced on her for her problems of getting involved with the wrong case.  He jumped in with his scythes."

She blinked a few times, looking confused.  "Is he sane?"

Jethro laughed.  "He is, but he sees it as a matter of necessity."

"Ah, I see.  I guess it would be."

"Now and then.  Especially at his graduation."  Xander leaned in.  "Got a list?"

"We're not agreeing on paint colors."

"Anything in between?"

"No.  I like something lighter and he wanted darker."

"Pick a painting to center the colors around," Horatio yelled from where he was working in the library.  A book came flying out and hit the floor near them.

"Sam and Willow would fuss," Xander called.  "Thank you, Horatio."  They settled into their usual guarding corner to find a picture they liked the colors in.  "Maybe we should ask Buffy."

"We'll end up with candles and froofy shit," Dean complained.

"She can do it without it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah.  Plus she can move the bed."

"That could help."  He stopped at one picture.  "I kinda like that one."

Xander looked then at him.  "Why?  I don't dislike it but why?"

"I was born in Kansas.  I'm more attuned to the flatlands than the mountains or desert."

"Sunnydale's between a river and the desert," Xander said, finding one he liked.  They compared them then pointed at the same background color.  They took it over to Jethro.

"Bit dark, boys.  See if the computer Sam and Mac put in has a graphic composer program.  Abby plays around with one and they usually have a color wheel or something."  They went to look at that.  They came back with a printout of a color.  "That's not bad."

"It should look good in the light or the dark," Dean told him.  "It fits well with our bed and other stuff too, Jethro."

"Even better.  Now, want to send that to Mac?"

"Can we send it to Buffy?" Xander asked with a grin.  "She can decorate and paint."

"I don't care.  That'll give you more time to work on your temper in the garden."  Dean gave him an odd look.  "Stella told him to extend his fuse."

"He doesn't have a short one."

"It has to do with the girls," Xander told him.  "Now and then they have special girl syndrome.  She said it'll be important later on that I don't smite someone for it."

"If they try, you come get me and I'll spank."

"Okay."  He called Willow.  "It's me.  I need Buffy's help.  No, not slaying.  Decorating mine and Dean's room."  He pulled his phone away from his ear at the squeal.  "I need that hearing, Willow.  Here, take down this color coordinate.  We found it on the composer program's background color wheel."  He read off the six numbers that made up the composite of the color.  "Yeah, like a light honey tinted towards cream.  Please?  I'll pay her back when I get home?"  He beamed.  "That'll work.  Thanks, Willow.  Here.  Sure, call and we'll find a way."  He hung up.  "She can and will.  She needs texted the measurements."  Dean went to do that.  He gave Jethro a hug.  "They're happy that we're decorating."

"I'm happy if you are, Xander."  He grinned.  "Think we can get the garden done by the wedding?"

"If I work night and day, we can have half of it.  I've had an herbalist come up to see what's important, what's magical, and what's just annoying.  Plus what has poison since one stuck me and I nearly stroked out until the guards got that healer.  She's really amused by us."

"I'm sure she is.  Healer Carson seemed very nice.  Did she check the cuts?"

"And called me stupid."

"You weren't.  It was a necessary move to save someone," Jethro said.  "It's one of those brave yet silly moves that guys have to pull now and then.  Usually it gets us pretty papers to hang on the wall or medals."

"Eww."

Jethro smiled.  "She's going to ignore you exist."

"Can I still sue her so I can afford stuff?"

"We'll see."  Xander nodded, going to help Dean.  Jethro shook his head.  His phone rang so he answered.  "Yeah, Gibbs."  He listened.  "We are working on some painting and a clan member's proposed alignment marriage, Fornell.  Why?"  He winced.  "Xander!"  He came jogging back.  "They were going through Sunnydale and found a few weapons stored under *your* name?"

"Some extras of Giles' and some things I found."

"And one you lifted from the national guard base," he said dryly.

"Buffy needed it to stop the Judge.  It was in a mall but we made sure everyone was out of the way and cleaned up the mess so we could send it off to somewhere safer."

Gibbs listened to Fornell's list he had gotten from Epps.  "I'll send him back for a few hours.  That way he can help Buffy pick out things for his apartment.  Of course he will hand over anything not immediately needed."  Xander made a begging face.  "No."

"What if we need it again to stop something big?"

"Tell Epps; he'll get you whatever you need."

"You sure?"

"Fornell said so."

"Can I turn it in for a reward so I can afford to update our apartment?"

"He wants a reward.  He's updating his apartment, Fornell.  They nearly ruined the castle.  Xander's spent a week getting one path of the garden mostly fixed."  He nodded.  "He'll see.  Head back."

"Yes, Gibbs."  He told Dean and grabbed his keys, going to take Don Epps around the storage areas he knew.  "If I can get a reward I'll turn in more stuff," he offered with an impish grin.

"Not going to prison enough?" Epps asked.

"No.  Sorry.  I've got a roadtrip planned this summer.  I've got to fix the damage they did to our apartment there, then live on it until I can get a job."

"The clan had money."

"Horatio thinks they might've spent it all to get two prisoners."

"Aw, shit."

"I'm only seventeen for another few weeks," he offered.  "I'll be good and hand over the mayor's stash that wasn't found."

"Let me look at it first," he ordered with a small sigh.  Xander took him that way.  What he saw amused him.  A lot.  "What was he planning?  World War five?"

"Demons do try to end the world every spring," Xander said dryly.  Buffy strolled in.  "Hi."

"What's up?"

"He wanted my weapons."

"Why?"

"Too many bad things," Don said bluntly.  She shrugged.  "You don't need all this, guys."

"We don't need the guns."

"Bite your tongue," Xander ordered.  "Dean uses guns all the time."

"I don't."

He looked at her.  "I do."  She slumped.  "I do now and then.  They come in handy and scare the crap out of the guys who try to mug me now and then."

"Weed it down to one cabinet's worth of stuff," Don ordered impatiently.

"Need a latte?" Buffy asked.

"In a few."  He looked at Xander.  "I'll see if I can get you a reward for this stuff."

"That way he can pay for the paint and stuff," Buffy quipped.

"And do my road trip.  Horatio said I can go look at bikinis."

"Wow."  She shrugged. "But not a lesbian.  Even if Miami is hotty central."

"Dean's going to enjoy me watching them too."

She smiled.  He handed over the sheet.  "I saw that.  It's a bit dark and so is your room, Xan."

"Only in the morning.  We get a lot of afternoon light."

"Okay.  We can try it."

"It goes with our furniture."

"Which is a good thing."  She took it and her mom to the paint store.  Joyce had met Dean during the layover in LA.  She had liked Dean's manners a lot.  So she'd help with the redecorating stuff.  "Mom, Dean is very anti-mushy stuff and candles.  He called to remind me of that."

"That's fine.  A few in case of emergency can't hurt and some of them smell very good for a long time."  She let her sniff.  "Chocolate.  Xander will like that and Dean liked sweets too."

She beamed.  "Good idea.  They want Xander to weed down his apocalypse closet."

"Oh, dear."

"But they weren't on eighth yet."

She looked at her daughter.  "Will I scream?"

"I did."

She called Xander.  "Put the nice agent on, Xander.  Or tell him about the one on eighth.  Sure, see if you can do that since you rescued it from the bad ones who wanted to use them.  How about a few chocolate scented candles - for emergencies of course?"  She smiled.  "That'll be fine, Xander."  She hung up.  "He'll walk him over there because the nice agent heard and threatened to spank him."

Buffy looked up from shopping a few minutes later.  "Did you hear a yell?"

"No, dear, but you do have more sensitive hearing than I do."  They got what they needed.  Xander paid them back and they carried it over.  Joyce sighed in displeasure at his room but it'd be handled quickly enough by her daughter.  She went to find Dean and talk with him while Xander hid from the scary agent.  "There you are.  Xander ran outside.  Buffy is covering things in your room to start painting for you.  The scary agent is huffing at Xander's collection."

"He wouldn't show me."

"The agent made him show him."  Don Epps stomped in.  "That agent I do believe."

"Probably.  What did he have?"

"Way too much crap.  Where is he?"

"Outside hiding in the scary, poisonous plants.  Can I see?"

"If you do, I want anything beyond a minimal assault rifle."

"He had an assault rifle?" Horatio asked as he walked in to join them. "Mrs. Summers."

"Mr. Caine."  She smiled and shook his hand.  "Buffy's up to paint for the boys.  Xander's hiding from this nice agent because someone found his weapons stash for emergencies."

"I want to see," Dean complained.  "Xander knows I like weapons."

"You get him to let you see.  You sort everything out that's higher than a light assault rifle.  Am I clear?"

"Are we going to use it to bust anyone?"

Don considered it.  "If he could."

"He wants a roadtrip fund," Dean told him.

"I know.  I can do that if he finds something big enough for us."

Dean held up a finger, going to find his bitch.  He pulled him out of the bush.  "Is that one poisonous?"

"Magical.  I blocked the tentacle trying to eat me.  What's wrong?"

"Don said you could show me.  All of it.  Because I do like weapons," he said with a grin.  Xander beamed back.  "Anything lower than an assault rifle you can keep and if you can give him something big enough you can have a reward."

"You mean like the guy selling artillery or the demon selling artillery in LA?"

"Probably.  He's in with Joyce."

"They'd be cute together and Joyce wouldn't freak out."

"We'd have to see."  He walked him inside, stopping to look at the tentacle that was attached to his boy's behind but cut off from the plant.  He ripped it off and tossed it into the throne room as they passed by it.  "It wanted to eat what's mine."  Xander blushed, giving him an odd look.  "It tried.  It's not allowed.  I will find some gas so we can salt and burn it."

"Then you can't plant anything else for a while."

"Pity."  He walked him into the room they were using.  "He thinks there's demons and humans selling artillery in LA."  Don moaned, nodding.  "That good enough?"

"Yes.  Did you buy from him?"

"Yeah."

"Even better."  He walked the boys off.  Horatio followed to see what the boys had.  He let out a deep, pained moan at the sight of the first warehouse.  "One cabinet worth, boys.  Make it able to travel with Dean if you have to."  They nodded, getting to work sorting out the best stuff.  They had a few playful arguments, one rolling around match, but they got it sorted.  Then Don took them and their new bag of gear to the next warehouse to work on it.  The rest he moved to his official SUV to take in.   The bigger stuff he had to call in help to move but that was fine.  He agreed that the boys had 'found them while scavenging'.

***

Xander snuck into the castle later that night, finding Jethro still up.  "Don said to thank you for lending me him."  He handed over the letter.

Gibbs read it then smacked him on the head.  "You didn't need weapons that big, Xander.  One or two pieces I could understand.  I know some battle cruisers that don't have that many rockets."  He looked at the boy.  "Are they gone?"

"Mostly?" he said hesitantly.  "But I moved the rest to more secure storage.  John knows."

"Fine.  That's a good use for it as long as it doesn't get sold or traded."

"Yes, sir.  Three?  I only kept four.  Dean can have one."

"Of?"  Dean handed over their current inventory, getting a nod.  "Well thought out, a bit diverse in range and strength.  Can you use a sniper rifle?"

"I can practice."

"Do that."  He handed it back.  "That's fine with me, boys."  They smiled.  "Buffy got done painting a few hours ago.  She went outside and nearly got attacked by a plant you missed, Xander."

"The herbalist said it was for magical stuff.  He's going to come up and take cuttings or whole plants early next week, once he's cleared out a space for them.  Was it the rare purple dick tentacle thingy?"

"Only one of the tentacles.  I called him up to ask him about it when it tried to latch onto her ear."  Dean snickered at that.  "He kindly removed it and moved up his timetable.  He wanted you to help him and his assistant tomorrow."

"Sure, I can do that.  Dean, can you help Buffy?"

"I can."

"She's done.  Even remade your bed.  Horatio was pleased with it.  Mac thought it looked nice.  Not too girly, Dean, even if there are a few candles in there for emergencies."  Dean grimaced but nodded.  "Go to bed.  It's been a long day."  They went to check out their room.  Giving a girl free access to decorate could be a bad thing.

Dean walked in first, sniffing.  "Chocolate?"

"Joyce found some chocolate candles."

"They smell good."  He looked around.  A nice mirror to expand the afternoon light.  The walls were nicely done.  The bed was made with a bedspread that coordinated but was a bit more masculine in a deeper brown color with a subtle pattern. There weren't a ton of pillows but three on each side of the bed in a honey shade with the bottom one in the same brown as the bedspread.  Their clothes were hung up for a change, and separated by person.  The dressers were used.  Their bathroom had towels hanging that were in a greenish shade that didn't clash with the honey on the outer walls but went pretty well with the water colors in there.  She had even cleaned the mirror for them.  Xander went to find her to hug her.  Dean gave her one too when she came back to show him things.  He could even put up with the candles when she showed him the warmer plate to put them on instead of lighting them.  That was a pretty masculine gay guy's bedroom but it was nice.

"Mom got Jethro the paint he needed for the throne room and the hallways.  Because it kinda needs it in spots.  Mac and Horatio got their own for their suites too.  So I guess it's a painting weekend."

"Looks like it," Xander agreed.  "Thank you.  I knew you'd do a good job and not fill it with frilly stuff."

"You're welcome."  She touched one of the gold decorative touches she had put around.  It went well with everything else.  "You two have a happy night.  I flipped the mattresses around so the better one was on top."  She bounced off.  They had appreciated her talent.  Maybe she should go into room design.  She did have her mother's artistic touch.

***

Jethro walked into work Monday morning rubbing at his wrist.

"Get hurt, Gibbs?" Kate asked.

"Missed a spot of paint."  She gave him a look.  "What?"

"Boat paint?"

"No.  Sealant paint for concrete and stone."  He sat down at his desk.

"Your house doesn't have concrete or stone."

"I wasn't painting my house."

"Oh."  She went back to checking her email.  "Did you get done?"

"Most of it.  The boys will finish it."  She gave him a look.  "Yes, I meant Xander."

"He's in DC again?"

"No."

"Okay."  She went back to her email, considering it.  "Do you have a vacation home somewhere?"

"Yes."

"Is it pretty?"

"Getting there.  The people who stole it for ten years ruined the gardens and things.  It used to have a nice walking garden out back.  The boys are dealing with it with an herbalist this week.  Then Dean's threatened to salt and burn some of the rest.  There's a lot of sticker plants."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "My aunt had a lot of roses in hers."

"We had a few with tentacles that wanted to eat someone."  He saw Abby and held up something from his pocket.  "A rare purple veined tentacle plant with teeth."

"Ooooh, I could use that in the lab."

"I thought you might like to decorate with it.  It tried to eat Buffy's ear when she came up to decorate for Xander."  Fornell got off the elevator and stomped over.  "Morning, Fornell.  Case?"

"No."  He handed him an envelope.  "For the littler bastard nephew of yours."

Gibbs looked inside and whistled.  "He'll appreciate that.  Later this summer he's going on a road trip to look at bikinis in Miami."

"I'm sure his mate will appreciate that."

"They're going together.  They both still insist they're straight."

"It happens I guess.  Give that to him.  Have him tell Epps if he finds another one or needs anything.  I don't want to hear about him collecting again."

"I already gave him that order."

"Good."  He stared.  "He let who decorate?"

"Buffy Summers.  She did a good job.  She helped fix up the office up there and a few other rooms.  Her mother runs an art gallery so she clearly has some taste.  She even made the boys like scented candles because they found some chocolate and cherry ones to put on warmer plates so their room smells good."

Fornell smirked.  "Maybe they aren't that straight."

"They went around going 'I'm straight' for the first few months, Fornell."

"Hmm.  They'll figure it out I suppose.  Emily wanted to know if you wanted a picture of her in her riding lessons."

Gibbs smiled.  "She's an adorable kid."

"Good."  He handed over one.  "There.  Give that to the littler bastard."  He walked off happier.  His boss would be pleased Gibbs was handling that in-clan.

Gibbs paged Xander, who showed up a few minutes later.  He held up the envelope.  "Fornell said do not let anyone hear about you collecting again," he said quietly, looking up to stare him down.

"Yes, sir."

"Good."  He released the envelope.  Xander moaned in pleasure.  "Do that at Dean, not at me.  Kate might get too happy."

Xander grinned and waved.  "Hi, Kate.  Sold my collection."  He bounced off, using Ducky's portal back.  They had a nice bank up there that he could start a new account in.  That way he could have a really good road trip scoping bikinis in Miami and trying some art stuff in New York.  Dean gave him an awed look too when he dragged him down to the bank so he had a guard.  When they got done they went back to pulling out the bad things in the garden.  Before it ate someone other than the herbalist's apprentice.  When the old man was done, Dean pulled out the rock salt and the kerosene.  The herbalist had something to help them replant quicker so it'd be nicer bushes.  Which the guards had already found for them in the woods.  All approved by the herbalist so nothing was magical, going to eat them, or be poisonous if there were ever eggs again.

The fire was pretty neat.  They wet down the gazebo to save it.  They wet down the plants they wanted to save.  Including some pretty rare specimens.  Willow and the herbalist watched to make sure it wouldn't burn any of them.  When it was done, they tilled the new ashes into the ground, added the new fertilizer mix, then the new plants.  Then, it was dinner time so they went to take a shower while the herbalist got to crow about his new wares.  It'd earn him a lot of money.  He'd get to brag for years that the overlord favored him.  It'd get a lot of new business into town, which meant taxes paid to the clan, which would support them and all the town's works for years to come.   Not too bad for some ugly little plants that liked to eat people.

***

Xander bowed at the priestess walking into the castle.  "Can I help you, priestess?"

"Is the overlord not in?"

"Not today.  He's at work.  Can I help you?  I'm his Guardian Xander."

She smirked at him.  "I've heard of you."

He grinned back.  "I hear that a lot."

"I'm sure you do.  I have information on the curse that was sent to you."

"That's important.  What sort of information?  I can have the clan gathered tonight for dinner if you need us to be.  Including our researchers."

"Please.  There were clauses built into it."

"There always are," Xander said dryly.  She smirked.  "My best friend is a witch."

"I've heard."  She patted him on the cheek.  "I've heard you burned the garden down?"

"No, just the harmful things they planted."  He pointed.  "Go that way through the double doors to get to the garden."  She nodded, going that way.  He went to call the various people.  "Jethro, a priestess just showed up with information on the curse.  She said there's clauses built in.  Can you do dinner?  That'd be easiest for most everyone.  Mac's supposed to take over tomorrow so he doesn't have night shift tonight."  He nodded.  "That'd be easiest.  It may only take a few minutes.  I don't know."  He nodded.  "I'm calling the others, I called you first."  He smirked.  "Because you work hours that would break a guy like me, Gibbs.  Thank you."  He called the others in for dinner, including Sam and Faith.  He and Dean settled in to make dinner once he told him.  Since he was local it was easier to just yell until he came to see what was wrong.  Even if the guards did sigh and shake their heads.

Five hours later dinner was served and Xander sat down last, looking at the priestess.  "Okay, we're all here.  What about the curse that hit us?"

"It was one of our order that cast it," she said.  "It was written down after they beheaded her for doing something so evil."  They all nodded at that.  She handed over the small scroll to Stella.  "It is in the priestly language since it contains secrets that we do not want in normal user's hands."

"I can agree with that."  She unrolled it to read over, Don reading over her shoulder.  "It has an out clause?"

"If she had done it with enough power, yes.  As is, you'll be split in form."

"What about those of us who were with egg?" Sam asked.

She nodded.  "They've been dormant and hiding inside you all this time, Samuel.  It's one of the reasons that demon wants your family so very bad.  To prevent those spawn from destroying them all.  He can feel the spawn but he doesn't know it's you.  Should he, he would probably panic."

"As in the young will some day end that demon?" Xander asked. "Or all demons?"

"If they're raised by you four, the possibility exists for them to become hunters, like you are."  They nodded at that.  "If they're born and not raised by you or someone who holds the same values true, then the demon may well be able to take them to minimize the threat.  An heir is an heir.  In three years he'll need an heir."

"Then it'd be best if they didn't tempt him," Mac said.

"Not like we're ready for them anyway," Dean said quickly.  "We'd have to move."

"We decided on that one thing that looks like a closet," Xander said, looking confused.

"Then we'd have to give up a closet," Dean complained.

"Not there.  The door that you thought went nowhere has another door on that side and we agreed to use that space if and when we had eggs."

"Oh, that space.  Sure.  Will we have to have someone decorate it too?"

"It'll be a while," Xander said.  He looked at the senior clan members.  "Is that a workable plan?" he asked the priestess.

"It is but it has to be ended within five years of it being done."

"We've already aged past that in our own lives and it's been a decade here," Xander told her.

She frowned.  "We can check to make sure."

He nodded.  "Please do.  I don't mind not having a head fin.  I'm kinda settled in this new life, but it'd be easier on the people and us if we had them eventually."

She nodded.  "I can understand that."  She looked at Jethro.  "You obviously chose him to help you because he makes good decisions."

"He's a very good planner.  There's a lot of them in the family and I encourage them all to speak up."

"If we did change full time we'd have problems at home," Horatio said.  "I doubt Eric in my lab or your boss would appreciate the head fins."  He ran a hand over his hair.  "Plus I like having hair."

She nodded.  "That is also a consideration."  She stood up.  "Let me prepare for the searching I'll need to do tomorrow."

"On which one?" Sam asked.

"It would be better if it was someone who was not attuned to magic."

"Leaves me out," Xander quipped.  She gave him an odd look.  "I was reborn in Sunnydale, lived there my whole life."  She shuddered.  "That leaves Dean and Sam out as well.  Faith probably too.  Don maybe?  Or Horatio?"

"That would work," she agreed.

"I'll be here for the next few days," Mac told her.  She nodded, leaving them to talk.  He waited until she was gone.  "Does she seem a bit odd to anyone else?" he asked quietly.

"The timing seems a bit odd," Horatio said.  "Why not come sooner to when we took over?  Why now when that one demon needs an heir in three years?"

"Why does it need an heir is the question I'm wondering," Xander admitted.  "The timing could be travel time, she might've waited until it was safe, it could've just been shown to her.  Why didn't anyone else from that order come to us?"

"All good points," Jethro agreed.  "I want you younger four to find out why it needs an heir to see if it's something we'll need to help you hide from or help you hunt it down to stop it."  They all nodded.  "I do agree that it'd be helpful if we could get back to what we were but I'm not fully holding my breath about it.  It would make life at home a lot more difficult."

"I'll get to work researching this," Stella said with a pat to the information.  "A few of the words I wasn't familiar with."  That got a mass of nods.  "Sam, can you help with that or are classes kicking your butt already?"

He grinned.  "They wanted us to have an easy freshman semester."

"I had organic chemistry my first one," Stella nearly pouted.

Danny nodded.  "I had A&P biology."

"The benefit of working toward law school instead of a hard science," Sam teased.

"Law school is hard," Tony warned.  "That's a lot of long hours getting a lot of information you might never need."

"I know."

"As long as you realize.  You can whine to us when you're overloaded."

"Faith said she'd tie me down and make me pout."

"I'm sure you'd like that," Dean teased.

Sam gave him a smug look.  "We'll have to see, huh?"

"Kids," Mac complained.  They just grinned at him.   "How long do you think it'll take to finish decoding that, Stella?"

"A few days at the most.  We can call a dinner then to talk it over."  They all nodded.  "Mac, are you sure you can handle things?"

"If not, I can call and ask someone for advice.  Xander's going to be in Miami."

"I do know some of the merchants are going to come to talk about the downtown area and the market they want to reopen.  They said I know nothing about that except walking around shopping people then sneered at my shirt.  I told him that you were older and he decided that was a good idea."

"Gee, I'm sure he'll appreciate that," Don taunted.

"I don't care," Xander said with a grin.  "They were wearing ugly hats."  Mac shook his head, getting back into his dinner.  Xander grinned at Horatio.  "Where should we stay this time, Horatio?"

"I would choose one of the usual spring break hotels.  It's their off season so you should be able to get a room fairly cheaply and they are used to cash instead of people who pay with a credit card.  Most of the larger chains demand one these days."

"Sure, we can do that."  He grinned at Dean then at his uncle.  "I've got sunscreen, sunglasses, and my trunks."

"I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun, boys."  They both smirked at him.  "Do not get arrested."

"We won't," Dean promised.  "I know how to act in a new environment.  I'll make sure Xander isn't snatched, drugged, or has to defend himself from evil, selfish women."

"Please do.  Then call me."  They nodded.  "If you need bail money I will be yelling."

"Not an issue most likely," Xander promised.  "We shouldn't even have to hunt."

"Warn me if you do."

"Of course," Dean agreed.  "Don't worry about things.  You'll feel old long before it's time.  We can handle ourselves."

"I hope so."  He ate a bite of his dinner.  "When are you two showing up?"

"I've got to head back to get the Impala.  Xander can head with you and I'll meet him there in two days."

"That's reasonable."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "Can you handle it?"

"I have been to LA a number of times.  I'm not the most unwordly one even if I haven't traveled extensively."

"Good.  Just making sure, Xander."  Xander shrugged and went back to eating.  Horatio would keep quiet until Xander did something stupid, got jumped, mugged, or drugged in a club.  Then they'd talk again.  The rest of them ate, helped clean up, then everyone but Mac headed for part of earth.

Mac went to his suite to work on his own redecorating plans.  He had painted but now he needed to fix some small issues, like curtains.  He didn't have any and he didn't like that.  Plus his sheets were scratchy and he still had that velvet spread.  He decided to put that in Xander's room for him.  Xander liked fuzzy things.

***

Xander looked up from his beer at the beachside bar, smiling at the woman who was coming over toward him.  She slid down next to him.  He nodded at the bartender, who came over to get her drink.

"Give me an apple martini?" she purred.  "And whatever he's having."

"I'm still mostly full," he said, waving his glass with a smile.  "But thank you anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Hmm.  I've been out working on my tan.  Too much heat and alcohol is bad for my body."  He flexed an arm.  His muscles had really increased while he had been fighting with the garden's plants.  She ran a finger over it.  He smirked.  "Are you bad for me?"

"Very.  Would it matter?"

"Well, only to a few people.  See, I'm kinda in an arranged marriage."  She gaped.  "To another guy.  Not gay but...."  She giggled.  "I'd have to ask permission to flirt."

"Do that.  You look interesting."  He called and Dean gave him the go ahead since Xander had sent him a hooker yesterday to do whatever he wanted with until he got to Miami.  That way he could have a woman for the last time without getting in trouble.  He showed her the text message he got back.  "He's pulled off the side of the road with the hooker I sent him.  He's not gay either."

"Then why put you two together?"

"It was good for the clans."

"Ah."  She ran a fingernail up his arm, getting a small shiver.  "So now that you have permission."

Xander gave her a warm, slightly evil smirk.  "I'm free for the next three days."

"Really?"

"He's running behind thanks to all the little stop-offs he's making."  She laughed.  He got up.  "Table?"

"Tables are nice," she agreed, taking her drink with him to a table.  He clearly wasn't trained in how to flirt.  Not one of the model boys who only cared who they were seen with.  He was very strong and he smelled very nice.  Plus she could admire that butt a lot.  "So, how do you please your women when you had them?"

"I have a slight oral fixation.  I'm cutting a wisdom tooth and I like to...nibble."  She moaned.  He smiled.  "Which means it's only fair of me to clean up any and all drooling fluids that I cause."  She shifted, her thighs spreading a bit.  "Then I believe the woman should do whatever she needs to so her personal pleasure is however she wanted.  She'll tell me what she wants me to do."  She moaned again.  "Unless I'm *really* worked up then I like the wall to help me brace her."  He sipped his beer, putting it aside.  "You?"

"I could appreciate those ways."

He grinned.  "I'm sure you could."  He shifted so he leaned closer.  "Did you want to appreciate it here?" he teased with a smile.  She shook her head.  "All right."  He kissed her, making her take it deeper.  He pulled back.  "Tell me when and where."

"Now, my place?"

"That's fine.  If you want."  She gave him a look.  "Some women don't like to pick up men to take home.  It makes them feel insecure."

"I can understand that.  I doubt you're a threat."

"Not unless you're *really* evil."  She cackled, shaking her head.  "Then you're safe."  She smirked, taking his hand to lead him to her car.  He hadn't driven, he had walked, so that was fine with him.  He did stop to pick up his towel and book, then throw out his bottle of juice.  He followed her back to her car, letting her take him wherever she wanted to go.  It was her pleasure.

***

Six hours later, Horatio walked onto the crime scene, looking at the boy hanging in the chains.  "Xander."

"Dean said I could."

"I know he did.  I heard what you sent him."  He got him down.  "What happened?"

"I don't know.  She was having fun.  Got a phone call.  Then she stabbed herself while I was hanging here."  He waved his wrists.  "No clue what the phone call was.  Her expression shifted to displeasure.  It was clearly bad news."

"We were playing safely?" Horatio asked quietly.

"Of course," he said with a scowl back.  "I always play safely.  Even with Dean."

"Good boy."  He walked him out, letting the paramedics check his chain injuries.  "Mr. Wolfe."

"Horatio."  He came over to take the young man's statement.  "Hi, Ryan Wolfe."

"Xander Harris."

"The same Xander?"

"Yup."

"Okay.  What happened?"

"She picked me up at the little beach-side bar with the thatched roof about a mile from my motel.  I asked, she said she was bad but not bad for me."  Ryan gave him an odd look.  "I have the gift of drawing evil women," he said with a small shrug.  Horatio nodded at that.  Ryan made a note of that.  "I checked to make sure I have permission from my mate.  I sent him a hooker so he could get all the pussy he wanted for the next few days for the last time.  He gave me permission back when I checked at the bar.  My phone's by the doorway along with my towel, book, and shoes."  The paramedic finished wrapping his wrists.  "Thank you."  They smiled and he got off the back of the ambulance.  He signed the forms they needed him to sign saying he hadn't needed to go to the ER.

"Have an easy day today."  He walked Ryan back inside to grab his towel, book, shoes, keys, and phone.  Ryan had to take pictures first.  "We were playing when we got back here.  I had her on the beige couch with the two red pillows.  I used one to prop her back up when it started to cramp while I was going down on her."  Ryan blushed.  "Horatio already asked but I do play safely.  It should be in the trash can to the right of the table while sitting on the couch."  Ryan looked, then bagged it.  "After she recovered, fed me some juice, had a few berries herself, we moved it to the bedroom.  I did the cheesy wall thing." Ryan gave him an odd look.  "Pushing her against the wall, letting it hold her up while you pound into her.  Hard and fast."

"Okay.  How did you get in the straps?"

"After the recovery after that time, where we were in the bed, she wanted to tease me.  She put me in them and was stripping off for my pleasure.  She had put on something flimsy.  That thing," he said with a point.  "Then she got a phone call.  Her face kinda looked disgusted, not depressed.  She grabbed her self defense knife from under her pillow and stabbed herself with it.  Which is when I yelled and screamed until the neighborhood guards got here to check why.  Who called you guys, and thank you for getting me down."

"Welcome," Ryan said.  "Okay, condoms in here?"  He pointed at the basket beside the bed.  "Good remembering."

"I have a pretty good memory for everything but school."  Ryan laughed.  "How do I find the bus back to my hotel?"

"I'll give you a ride, Xander," Horatio promised.  "He's at the Excelsior, Mr. Wolfe."  He wrote that down.  Xander put down his room number and cellphone number.  Ryan nodded so he walked him out to his hummer.  "Bar pickup, Xander?" he asked quietly.

"I was bored.  She was cute.  I miss having a girl.  Dean doesn't like me to lap him like I would on a girl.  I've still got to figure out how to do that."

A woman walking a rottweiler stopped them.  "How much do you charge?" she asked with a grin.  "I might be interested."  Horatio groaned, shaking his head.  "If your father doesn't mind."

"He's my uncle and I'm not that sort of boy.  She picked me up at a beachside bar.  I was working on my front tan since I'd been outside with my back to the sun recently."  He grinned, taking off his shirt.  "See, I'm about even finally."

"You are."  She ran a finger up his chest.  "Free is good."

"No," Horatio told her.

She glared at him.  "I know your supervisor."

"I am the supervisor, ma'am."

Xander smirked at him then kissed her.  She moaned.  "Find me on the beach so my uncle doesn't worry about you being too bad for me too.  Or I'll be having dinner later."  He winked and she smirked back, letting him walk off to the hummer.  He slid in, looking at Horatio.  "I didn't know Miami had so many bad girls."

"Yes they do.  They are all bad for you as well."  He started the engine and drove him off.  "Want to have dinner with me later?"

"If you want and she doesn't kidnap me.  I have no idea why she had handcuffs in her back pocket."

"Xander," he sighed.

"She did.  Did she think the dog was going to be that naughty?"

"Possibly."  He shook his head.  "I've heard from Mac.  He was complaining about all the simpering, wanting people who think he's wonderful."

"They didn't like it when I showed up.  Called me too young to have influence and not smart enough to realize what they wanted was good for everyone.  I told them to come back when it was Tony's turn.  He was used to people like them."  Horatio gave him a sideways look.  "He grew up on Long Island in a banking family."

"Ah."  Yes, that would mean Tony would understand people like that better and have more patience than the rest of them with them.  "What did Faith say?"

"She told me if they bothered her she'd set them on fire."

"Mac was about to do that to some of the truly hideous hats."  He pulled into the motel's parking lot.  "Try to behave.  Do not make me rescue you again?  Next time they might stab you instead of themselves."

"My feet were free, I could've gotten her knocked out by kicking her and shouting for help."  Horatio nodded at that. "I saw the neighborhood guards.  I also wasn't sure that was her house with the name on the mailbox."  Horatio gave him an odd look.  "Just thought of it."

"I'll let Mr. Wolfe know.  Go inside, Xander.  Take a nap."

"Yes, Horatio."  He grabbed his stuff, taking it inside with a wave from the door for him. He laid down on the bed to nap.  It was tiring watching someone stab themselves.

Horatio went back to the scene to check on that tip.  "Mr. Wolfe, what does her ID say her last name is?"

He dug it out.  "Critheon."  He came out to look at the name on the mailbox.  Then at Horatio.  "House-sitter?"

"Possibly.  Make sure of that please."  He nodded, going to ask the neighborhood guards that.  Horatio shook his head.  Xander was going to drive him nuts.  Dean needed to be closer sooner.  He called him, walking off to talk to him.  It was nice Xander had let him have some last minute girl sex.  They could find one locally to put between them here so Dean could keep Xander out of trouble.  How did Xander find women like that?

***

Xander answered his door, smiling at Dean.  "Hi."  He pulled him inside. "You're letting all the A/C escape."  He checked then shut the door.  "She bored?"

"I dropped her off where she wanted to be."  He kissed him.  "Were you in trouble?"

"It wasn't my fault she stabbed herself."

"And the catfight?"

"No clue.  Apparently cute, hot young guys are in short demand with the way they were acting."

"And the fact Horatio had to ask the women nicely to hand you back since none were worthy so he ended up arresting them when they attacked him?"

"I wasn't even *there*.  I was at a club.  I was on the floor.  They were doing this off to the side.  No idea.  Apparently it's the week to weed down Miami's women with mental issues."

Dean nodded.  "Apparently."  He took another kiss, pushing him down onto the bed.  "How was it?"

"Not bad."  He grinned.  "Her?"

"Very not bad.  She's walking funny but she liked it."  He laid down on the bed, letting Xander curl up next to him.  "How's the local beach?"

"Great.  It's beautiful and the sand is nice.  They manicure it every morning."  Dean nodded at that.  "Or there's a private, topless beach a few miles up the road."  Dean grinned.  "We can go.  Change."  Dean got up to change.  Xander found what he needed.  "Sunscreen?"

"Please."  He put some on then put back on his clothes.  Xander put on his own easy access clothes.  He looked at him.  "Those pants look good on you."

"Are you a bad girl too?" he teased.

"Not a girl, Xander."  He spanked him, getting a yelp and a heated look.  "They make you look hot."  He led him out to the car.  "My baby.  Do not slam a door."

"Yes, Dean."  He got in and didn't slam the door.  He had to reclose it because he was too gentle.  Dean nodded in pleasure at the treatment his baby was getting.  Xander was stroking the dashboard and the seat.  Then the roof.  Dean took a kiss.  "She's a beautiful lady, Dean."

"Yes she is but she's a scrapper."  He started the engine and backed out, heading to the place Xander directed him to.  The guard accepted their fees and pointed at the cabanas.  They stripped and finished oiling down then went out to lay in the sun.  A few of the girls gave them interested looks.  Dean flirted back.  Xander just grinned.  She asked if they were together.  They both told her it was an arranged marriage. So she moved closer to keep flirting with them.  They were cute and well built young men.

***

Dean walked Xander into the station two days later, after having to save him yet again.  Horatio came down to meet them.  "I don't know why Xander's still drawing evil women but is there a way to stop it?  I'm not used to being the less hot one in the duo."

Horatio smiled.  "I have no idea what's going on, Dean.  It could be where he's barely legal."

"Hey!" Xander complained.  "It isn't that bad."

Dean snorted and looked at Horatio.  "It was nice the heiress on the private beach thought we were fun.  Then she passed us to the others in her group."  Horatio groaned, shaking his head.  "Two of them tried to keep Xander.  Then at the club last night.  In the gay club."

"Straight women go there because there's better music and less men to make them miserable," Xander told him.

"I don't care.  They still wanted to keep you."

"They promised me silk panties too," he shot back.  He looked at Horatio.  "Tell him normal people have these issues too."

"Not that I've seen," he admitted.  He considered his nephew.  "We have no idea why you draw bad girls like that, Xander."  Xander rolled his eyes.

"Most weren't bad girls, they just wanted to be," Dean told him.  "Only one really evil one.  A vamp in the club and I got her.  Different species than Xander was used to.  Needed silver and I had my bootknife with me."

"Thank you for that, Dean.  I do not know how to stop this."  He looked them over.  Xander did look very fetching in his present shorts and baggy t-shirt.  "Most women wouldn't look twice at him in that."

"That's what I thought," Dean said.  He was nearly pouting.  He was the chick magnet Winchester.  He should be getting all the women to hit on him.  "If you can't think of a reason, got a handy pagan shop we can find a referral at?"

"Yes."  He wrote down a name.  "Go to her.  If she can't, she'll find someone who can."

"Thank you," Dean said.

"Thank you, Horatio."  Xander gave him a hug and he left.

Horatio went back to the lab.  "The boys are trying to figure out why Xander's suddenly drawing bad girls and want-to-be bad girls all over the city," he said at Eric's odd look when he met him at the elevator.

"He's barely legal, cute, and a bit muscled.  How many?"

"Another club incident.  A few others.  Dean was pouting."  He went to check on his results.  "Miss Valera, do you have anything for me?"

"Within an hour," she said with a smile.

"You smell nice, Horatio.  New aftershave?" Natalia asked.

"No," he said.  "It may be transfer from Xander however."  Valera gave him an odd look then pressed a testing pad to his sweaty spot on his shirt, taking it to run.  He followed.  "What is that?" he asked when she got the report out of the printer.

"Someone is in heat, Horatio.  I remember the club thing last night.  I was there and giggled madly at it."

"Thank you.  We had been wondering why Xander drew bad girls this week."  He went to call Dean to tell him.  What he heard back did not make him happy.  The hellmouth was leaching out of Xander's body and causing the problem to attract more things to him to eat him or bring him back to it.  How would they stop that?  Well, another five days then the boys were going to New York to browse up there.  He could survive that long.  He hoped.

Though he did pass that information on to Stella and Don.  Just in case.

***

Don looked at the boys knocking on his door.  "Hey, guys."

"Checking in as ordered," Xander said with a grin.

"Good!"  He let them inside. "Dean, where did you park?"

"Parking garage up the street.  I'd hate to have to hit someone for staring at my baby funny."

"Does that mean if we do spawn, she's going to be named Impala?"

Dean hit him on the arm.  "Shut up."  Xander just grinned.  "So, what's up?  You called for us to check in?"

"To make sure you made it."

"Horatio call?" Dean asked.  Don smirked and nodded.  "We have no idea but the PA one gave us by force isn't too bad now."  Don blushed, shaking his head.  "She said we needed one."

"Uh-huh.  TMI, Dean."  He walked them into his living room.  "What happened?"

"The witch we talked to thinks it's where the hellmouth is leaching out of me," Xander said.  "It's how it gets its people back once they lose too much of the taint they get from it."

"Okay.  Can we fix this?"

"Yeah, I have an appointment somewhere up here tomorrow afternoon to deal with that.  I was going to be good and nap tonight."

"That's a great idea," Don agreed.  "Then what?"

"Coney Island.  Great Escape is a few hours away," Dean said.  "He wanted to visit amusement parks."

"That's a great vacation," Don praised, getting smiles.  "There's a few beaches but they can be crowded now and then."

"I looked online," Xander said.

"Good job."  He gave them both pats.  "This is my cell number and Stella's cell number," he said, writing them down.  "If we get into more trouble like that, call us.  That way we can save you."

"Tell Mac I'm sorry the ugly hat people pounced him."

"He shot back to talk to Tony too."  He grinned.  "They were not amused that we're all fighters and their idea of fun is idiotic to some of us.  Where are you guys staying?"  Dean handed over the online registration.  "How did you do that?"

"Prepaid card one of the women gave to me," Xander said with a grimace.  "She was nice but mean."

"Very mean.  She tried to have her boa constrictor eat me," Dean complained.

Don looked at them.  "Joking, right, guys?" he asked with a grin.  They both shook their heads.  "Call before you go clubbing."

"Yes sir," they said.

"Good.  Dean, did you call your father?"

"When I got back and about once a week.  He said it's good my training is going to protecting my mate because he clearly needs it.  Any idea where the vamp clubs are so we can avoid them?"  Don pulled out the notes he had made on that subject for them.  Dean made notes.   He didn't want them in demon clubs either. "Thanks, Don."

"Welcome, guys.  Behave and call for lunch after you hit one of the amusement parks."  They grinned, heading out to their hotel.  New York had a lot of places for them to learn what they needed to learn about being together.  Their present bodies weren't like their last ones and neither one wanted to be bad lovers to their spouse.  Don relaxed, calling Stella.  "The boys are in.  They did ask and Dean made notes to make sure they didn't walk into one by accident.  Cony Island.  Great Escape."  He grinned.  "Tomorrow.  Thanks, Stella."  He hung up and laid down.  That was going to drive him nuts.  It really was.

***

Mac got back and got a hug from Xander.  "I'm sorry the ugly hats attacked you."

"The last one that bothered me I threatened to put her hat out of its misery since it was complaining."  He smiled.  "It happens to all of us I guess, Xander."  He got free.  "What's wrong?"

"I'm hiding from Danny."

"Why?"

"Because they went clubbing with me last night and boytoy there, as his sister calls him, proved his worth to one," Danny said as he joined them.  "That problem in Miami is carrying on up here too."

"Not my fault," Xander complained.  "She tried twice.  It's on the downward side at least."

"Thank God for that!" he said sarcastically.  "Did you ever find Dean?'

"Yeah.  The ones that had him were sorry when I took him back.  People from home."

"Vamps?" Danny asked.

"No.  Other home."  Mac groaned.  "They decided to hold him hostage to go over their ideas with them.  They ran and screamed like kids on candy crack too when I showed up.  Dean said their ideas came from the same source."   He smiled at Mac.  "We weeded it out as much as we could."

"What happened?"  Xander walked him off, outlining how this was the hellmouth taint leaving him and what was going on.  Mac let out a soft moan.  "You must have driven Horatio nuts."

"He only had to save me twice and once I wasn't even involved.  I was on the dance floor.  They were fighting over me before introducing themselves."

Mac gave him a look.  "How many times here?"

"I called Danny when I lost Dean but otherwise we've been good."

"I like that," Mac said.  "Where is Dean?"

"Sleeping in."

"That's fine.  Why are you in today?"

"Welcome you back, get a sit rep, that stuff."

"Everything's fine.  I did warn Tony about the ugly hat epidemic we were having.  He laughed but one rushed in while I was there.  He's thinking about banning hats from the castle."  He patted the boy again.  "Go play, Xander.  Let the lab mob me."

"Sure."  He bounced off to find something fun to do.

Mac went u to his office with Danny.  Stella nearly pounced when they got off the elevator.  "Missed me?" he teased.

"Yes!  I hate your paperwork.  I'm going to hate taking your desk some day, Mac."  He smiled at that, walking off with them beside him.  "How was it?"

"Lots and lots of ugly hats and people who wanted materialistic things to happen.  I took notes and passed them onto Jethro.  Who told me to ban hats.  Tony was thinking the same thing."

"Nah, we can use them as an identifier of that sort," Danny said.  "Ugly hats equal problems."

Mac laughed.  "That could work for me.  I'll tell the guards that code."  He looked at Stella.  "How was it otherwise?"

"Not bad.  Not a whole lot of cases.  Hawkes is still questioning some things."

"You're the one who told him to think about that cover story not being a good one," Danny said.

Mac scowled at her.  "Stella."

"It was a weak cover story and he'd have realized that anyway, Mac.  Don't scowl at me.  I'll feed Xander chocolate and tell him to come over for dinner."  She opened the office door for him.  "All yours."  She gathered her water and energy bar then left again, going back to her cases.

Mac shook his head.  "He was thinking about it," Danny admitted.

"That's fine."

"She told him to ask you."

"As she should have."  He looked at him.  "More problems than she admitted?"

"Two."  He walked him inside to talk to him about his current case.  There were a few problems on it.  Mac sighed but started the paperwork to fix it with those officers who had caused his techs problems.  He did admit that he had called Flack for backup, letting Don chew them a new one since they wouldn't listen to a 'science geek with a bubble gum badge' but that was almost expected.  Don could give another statement of what had happened.  It was more evidence to get them fixed or fired.

***

Xander looked at Dean across the deli's table.  "A question was raised.  Am I going back to Sunnydale?"

"Do you want to?  We can travel and hunt instead if you wanted."

Xander considered it.  "I don't know if she can handle it with just Willow and whoever this commando boy she mentioned is."  Dean choked.  "You okay?"

"Commando?"

"Yeah.  Not sure about that yet.  I haven't been able to find much information on them.  I did send an email to Don Epps but I haven't heard back yet."

"Call him, Xander."

"I tried.  For some reason the line was super staticky.  Even he thought they were tapping it."

"Shit.  Tell Jethro?"

"I told Abby.  Jethro's in the middle of nowhere on a case."

"Okay."  He considered it.  "Our network hasn't heard anything probably but I'll check with Dad tonight.  Maybe have him go check on them for you since we're on this coast."  He ate a bite of his sandwich, looking at his mate.  "We could combine them.  Hunt on that side of the country so we could pull into Sunnydale often to check on them."

"I might agree to that," Xander said.  "I'm not sure I can handle the constant traveling though.  I don't mind it now and then but I'd like to sleep in the same bed for more than a week."

"I get that," Dean agreed.  "We could make it a base of operations so we could go back to it after each hunt."  Xander grinned.  "That means we'd have to find some very forgiving jobs."

"With the death rate, there's always openings out there."

"Good.  Would they mind if we took off like that?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  I also don't know if Buffy and Willow would like that since they're majorly caught up in the college thing and Buffy blew me off to go to class.  Which isn't like her."

"We have got to find the problem going on then," Dean decided.  Xander nodded.  "None of the demon underground has said anything?"

"Some rumors of ones being captured.  No one's said that they know anyone who's seen them in person."

"Which means they're capturing them," Dean finished.

"I think so.  I asked her and she said Riley was nice and they weren't doing bad things.  I don't know."

Dean nodded slowly.  "Let's head back that way?  Check into it on the way?"

"I could like that.  Angel might have more contacts.  He's set up in LA to handle things there."

"Then we can handle it from there.  I'm sure there's some nasty ghosts and things there."

"Oh, yeah."  He grinned.  "You sure?  Your dad's in Maryland."

"He's going to talk to Jethro to find some Marine-style sanity."

"Ah."  He finished up.  Dean finished his.  They left a nice tip on the table then left.  The owners of the demon deli relaxed again and it was good for their waitress too.  Plus now more people knew that they were looking for information on that situation.  It was a win-win situation since it had been excellent food.

***

Xander walked into Angel's office, staring at the woman behind the desk doing her nails.  "Don't jump," he said loudly.  She jumped but didn't mess up.  He grinned.  "Shoot.  You mumble interesting things at your nails when they get messed up."

"They didn't get messed up until you introduced me to Buffy," she said dryly.  Dean walked in.  "Welcome to Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless."

"Cordelia, must you do that in the office?  That stuff stinks," Angel complained as he came up the stairs.  "Harris.  Winchester."

"Angel," Dean said.

"Deadboy," Xander teased with a grin.  Angel glared.  Xander smirked brighter.  "Commandos?"

"Huh?"

"Buffy's dating a commando who the demon world says is capturing them but no one's ever seen them in person?"

"Huh.  Hadn't heard that."

"I heard it in New York when I asked.  They're really freaking out.  We're heading back that way and wanted some intel."

"We might be able to find you some," he admitted, walking him back to his office.  He closed the door.  "Did you have to make her cranky?"

"She's not.  She expects it of me.  The same as I expect some snark.  It's how we relate to each other, Angel."  He sat down.  Dean sat beside him.  "I talked to Oz last week but he's leaving town for some reason.  Not real sure why."

"Okay."  He settled in to call a few contacts up that way.  Most of which were mysteriously missing.  He leaned back when he kept hearing that, calling a closer one.  Also missing.  He called Willie's bar.  It was open.  He talked to Willie, who told him all he knew, which wasn't much.  He hung up and looked at the boys.  "They're a military project there to study demons."

"And?" Dean asked.  "Why?"

"I do not know.  I'm not sure they do.  Willie said the town's nearly emptied except for the vampires.  They're not that discriminating about who they take.  Which could mean trouble for you two."

"We're human now," Dean said.

"If they hear, it might not matter," Angel pointed out.  "Xander draws the bad sort of trouble."  Xander nodded.  "And Buffy's got her head up his camo's."

"Which means we're back to 'special girl' times?"

"Willie thinks so.  Willow was drifting too since Oz left.  He caught her drunk off her butt on patrol a few nights back."

Xander sighed.  "Okay.  I'm going back.  Dean, I want you to hide for a bit.  Just outside of town.  Let me make sure it's safe?"

"If it's not, I'll call in Jethro and the clan," he agreed.  "We should talk to Epps first."

"Who?" Angel asked.

"One of the FBI agents who came up about Grad.  He proved he had a clue," Xander said.  Angel gaped.  He grinned.  "People get impacted now and then."

"Good point.  Sure.  Tell him to come here if he needs me."

"I can do that," Xander promised, leaning over to shake his hand.  Angel hesitated then grabbed it to shake.  "I can treat you like I do Cordy now that you're not agnsting everyone up."  He stood up.  "I swear you used to be a cause for depression."

"I have better reasons now."

"Hopefully he likes the same things you do," Xander teased, making the vampire look embarrassed.  "Thanks, Angel.  Let us head later or tomorrow."  He led the way out, kissing Cordelia on the head.  "Listen for problems that way.  Call me if you hear any or Dean if you can't get me."

"Of course.  Why are you wearing a platinum watch?"

"Some lady gave it to me after deciding I was good," he quipped.  "After too long off the hellmouth, it'll start to attract things to you so it can get you back."  She gave him a horrified look.  He and Dean both nodded.

"I had someone drain her past that," Angel called.

"We tried that with me, it didn't work," Xander called back.  "But it made Miami a lot more fun."  She rolled her eyes, shaking her head before getting back to her thumbnail.  He and Dean left, going to the FBI building.  Don wasn't in.  The college said Charlie hadn't been in his office for two days.  Xander told that to Dean and they decided to pay a call on their father.  The house was open, had police tape, and looked like it had been part of an assault.  Xander called Abby's phone.  "I need Don Epps' boss's number.  Now.  Because apparently he's missing.  His brother is missing, and their family home is looking a lot like someone led a SWAT team but it's got police tape around it.  No, whoever Jethro went to visit and who sends him to us."  He wrote down that number.  "Thank you."

He hung up and called.  "Fornell, hi, Xander Harris.  Yes, there's a reason I got Abby to give me your number.  Are you aware Don Epps' family is missing?  Dean and I are staring at the house and there's police tape around it.  Looks like an assault team went through it.  Charlie's work said he hadn't been there in two days.  The FBI secretary said he hadn't been in today at all.  I don't know but Dean and I were coming to warn him that it looks like there's a commando group in Sunnydale that's snatching demons.  Yeah, that's what I said, Fornell.  We can wait in LA.  Pick a hotel for us."  He wrote down the name.  "We can do that.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll be out tonight."  He turned the car around and headed to the hotel to check in.

Dean set up alarms on the door and windows, even though they didn't open.  He closed the curtains and set a heat source on it too in case of a sniper with a heat seeking scope.  Xander got them food by sneaking out and back in.  Then they settled in to watch the local news.  "I had no idea LA had a demon channel.  Their Sesame Street is less annoying than the human one."

"Yeah, it is," Xander agreed with a grin.  "That's how I learned a lot of stuff."

Dean pinched him.   "We can teach you all sorts of stuff, Xander."  Someone knocked so he went to check out the hole.  He put on the chain and opened it slightly.  "Yes?"

"Mr. Winchester?  Agent Colby Granger.  FBI."

Dean let him in and put the alarm back on.  "What's up?"

"Your car was spotted at the house of an agent that's currently missing."

"We were going to update him to a situation going on up near where I'm from," Xander said.  "We met at my high school's graduation.  Did you know the higher ups didn't know he was missing?"

"He's not."

"Is that why his house looks like it was trashed and has police tape?" Dean asked.  "Or why his brother's not been at work for two days?"

"Who are you two?"

Xander held out a hand.  "Xander Harris."

He stared.  Then he shook it.  "You were leading the defensive action at your graduation."

"Yeah, and now it looks like someone decided to set a commando group loose on my town.  Do you believe in coincidences?"

"No."  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "So this was checking in, seeing if he had intel, that stuff?"

"Yes," Dean said.

"How are you involved?"

"I'm formerly on the hometown protection detail," Xander said.  "With Miss Summers."

"We knew about her and why she's special."  He considered it.  "You're a hunter?"  They both nodded.  "Why were you out of town?"

"Vacation after graduation," Xander said.  "We're figuring out how to work the hunting stuff now."

"Okay, that makes more sense.  I can tell you Don's not missing.  Neither is Charlie."

Xander looked at him.  "Your stance shifted.  I called Fornell."

Granger looked confused.  "Who?"

"A higher up Don has to answer to," Dean said.  "We're part of Jethro's clan."

"Okay, apparently I'm missing clues."

"Probably not that sucked in," Xander told him.  "If you were part of the world, you'd know.  Don does."

"Okay, that makes more sense.  I just know that Don has something extra special about him."  He shifted some.  "This Fornell?"

"Higher level FBI," Dean said.  "Out of DC."

"Ah.  That makes a lot of sense.  Thank you for that.  Let us handle it?"

"If it's related, you guys shouldn't," Xander warned.  "It's not going to be pretty.  If you thought they freaked out after graduation this is worse from what we're getting."

"How much worse?"

"No one who's seen these commandos in person has been able to report what's going on," Dean said.  Colby moaned.  "They're operating inside the US.  Which I'm told is an issue."

"The underground thinks that they're mostly Army.  Some scientists but they couldn't confirm or make certain," Xander told him.  "It's up near the college.  I know Buffy's dating one."

"Charming.  Okay.  Let me find this Fornell guy and we'll arrange things."  He looked around the hotel room then at them.  "If they come...."

"We're hunters," Dean said.  "My dad was a Marine.  We've been hunting since we were four."

"Good to know."  He nodded, standing up again.  "Stay out of sight."

"We are," Xander promised.  That got a nod and he left.  Dean set back up the alarms.  "Do you think he's in hiding?"

"No," Dean said.  "Not in the least."

"Me either."  They went back to watching the demon news.  They had another story about strange disappearances in town and here in LA.  He sent that info to Cordy, who would give it to Angel.

***

Fornell stomped into the trashed hotel room.  "The boys?"

"Safe," Colby said.  "They managed to get out with their stuff, somehow, and made it to their car.  They're at a safehouse."

Fornell looked at him.  "Do I know you?"

"Colby Granger, on Don Epps' team, Deputy Director.  We're here to help you with the local things."

"Why?"

"Because I know," David said as he walked in.  "Colby knows some.  Megan's got the boys."

"Just her?"

"Two others we trust," David assured him.  He bowed a bit.  Fornell smirked.  "We have no idea.  Don sent back a coded message saying he was hiding from something with Charlie.  Their house was trashed but we thought Don had his father too.  We haven't heard from them since that message but we thought that was part of the hiding."

"Apparently not.  The boys have a good sense of what's going wrong.  Usually from having it land on them."  He looked around again.  "Let's go talk to them, compare notes."  They nodded, taking him that way.  This was not good.  In any way.

***

Xander walked into Willie's Bar the next night, looking around before taking his sunglasses off.  "Geez, did you run people off with the stink?"  The bartender's head popped up and stared at him.  "Yes, I'm back.  I need a real sit rep before I check in."

"I don't know anything."

Xander sighed, moving closer.  "Willie, don't make me cranky.  My mate's hunting somewhere at the moment.  I've got to come back to deal with the girls.  I've heard there's problems.  Now, what is going on in my town?"

"Claiming it?" he sneered.

"I was reborn here and Jethro said he'd consider it if we had to take over this realm too."

The demonic bartender gaped then slowly shook his head.  "The higher ups won't like that."

Xander leaned his hands on the bar, leaning forward some.  "Do you see many arguing with Jethro?"

"No," he admitted.  "With your Faith either.  Where is she anyway?"

"With her mate."

He whimpered.  "Her mate?  She's mated?"

"Yeah, they had all of us reborn.  Including Jeris."  Willie let out a wail.  Xander looked at the person who just came in.  "Buffy.  Bring your thug of the day with you?"

"He's a nice guy."

"Who may be involved with stealing a federal agent," he said bluntly.  "Plus a college professor with a high security clearance.  All because they're doing good work for everyone and they're peaceful."  She snorted, crossing her arms over her chest.  He moved over to stare down at her.  "Buffy, what happens if something that can't eat anything and won't be causing trouble is captured by them?"

"They figure out what they can do then let them go."

"They've never let *anybody* go, Buffy."

"How do you know?"

"I had Angel check his contacts in the underground before I showed up."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "They said there has not been *anybody* that escaped, was released, or who isn't now missing.  Including some witches."

"Willow's fine.  They like her."

"Is Giles since he can?" he countered.  She squeaked.  "Because he has the power to take their hold over you away as your watcher," he finished quietly.  "Think with the bigger head before we have another tragedy coming like Alcaltha," he said, staying quietly.  She scowled again, crossing her arms over her chest.  "Do you really want to go through that pain again?"

"I won't be."

"You will be."

"They know you were reborn."

"And I'm still not demonic since that curse, Buffy.  Fully human.  Is that what it takes for you to realize that they're doing bad things?"

"Please take the brawl outside," Willie begged.

"Shut up," Xander said, glaring at him.  The bartender ran.  "Buffy, I love you.  Even when you do have a commonly guy problem of thinking with the wrong head."  She slapped at him.  He ducked with a small sigh.  "Buffy, think.  If they were going to release harmless things, don't you think they'd have done that by now?  It's been a good few months since they showed up."

"They showed up in August."

"Buffy, it takes *years* to build a base like they have."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "It takes six months or so to build a single house with an openly seen crew of at least ten people.  They had a hidden crew, which means they had to work slower and schedule shipments more carefully to be hidden.  Their base is supposed to be about the width of the college and a few floors deep."

"How do you know?"

"I know a federal agent who knew."  She gaped.  "They're sponsored by the same people who did Area 51, Buffy.  They're not nice guys.  They've already gotten a lot of harmless demons.  Ones who are doing the same thing Angel is in LA.  Hell, they took one of the people on the LA demon council!  The one who keeps the peace for the most part among the clans!"

She slumped.  "I still say they're good people."

"Then look at the ones they have, Buffy.  Are they harmless?  Are they in good shape?"  She grimaced, nodding.  "Really?"  He pulled something out of his pocket.  "One of the agents Angel talked to managed to get a picture from their surveillance cameras inside."  He held it up.  "Does that look like a dangerous demon to you?"

She snatched it then went pale.  "That's Riley."

"I know."  She looked at him.  "Rumors hit the east coast while we were scoping bikinis in Miami.  I talked to people then talked to Angel to confirm the rumors I'd heard.  See if he had better information."

She looked at it again then at him.  "That one's not a bad guy?"

"It's the equivalent of a mouse.  A demonic, three foot mouse, but still a mouse. You can ask Giles to look it up if you want."

She nodded.  "We should do that.  Willow's waiting on us probably."

"Sure.  And if your boyfriend tries to taser me, I get to kick his ass."  She gaped.  He stared back.  "You said you told him.  What?  Not feeling special enough even after grad?"  She swatted at him.  "Honestly, Buffy.  You reverted to before mine and Faith's road trip again."  He stared at her.  "Think about it."

"You left."

"I went to burn the garden before it ate anyone then Dean and I spent some quiet time in Miami and then New York."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Bring me anything?"

"Dean might have.  He packed the car."

"Really?"

"Have to ask him and he's not here right now.  He had an emergency hunt for a friend."  Which wasn't true.  Dean was right outside of town, listening to them.  "Let's go talk to Giles and Willow."

She nodded.  "You should join us at college."

"Why?  I hate school.  No school."

"I don't like it either but it makes you more money later on."

"Only if you find something you're good at and can find a job.  Which isn't guaranteed.  Remember, there's plenty of people with degrees working at Mickey D's."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.   C'mon."  She nodded, walking out with him.  They were stopped by a jeep.  "Hmm.  Buffy, friends of yours?"

"Um, guys, he was sent here to be human.  They took all the demon stuff out."

"That's not good enough," one said.  "He's dangerous.  Step away, Buffy."

"No.  He's my friend and he's helped me save this town and the world a lot."

"He's still dangerous and he's using you."

"Really?  And are you?" she countered.  They tasered them both.

Up on the hill, Dean put down his earphones.  "They tasered them both."

"Track them," Fornell ordered.  They nodded, turning on the tracking gear.

"Sir, it's shorted out."

"No," Dean said, reaching back to adjust something.  "You had it set too high."  They grimaced but went with it.  Their own retrieval team followed the jeeps subtly back to their air vent entrance in the woods.  That was a good sign.  The leader waited until they were down there to use his own passkey.  It would get him into the deepest bowels of the CIA building in Langley.  It did not work here.

Fornell stepped forward and magiced the lock.  "There," he hissed.  They moved in and down, coming off the elevator to a greeting party.  Which they shot at.  Sedatives because they wanted them to stand trial.  "Get our people."  They ran to do that while he shut down things.  He walked up to the command center, letting his guys take out people on the way.  He found the doctor in charge.  "This is an official desist order from the President himself."  He laid it in her bound hand.  "You are to stop all activities and to release all your prisoners.  May he have mercy on you for doing this inside the borders of this country since that is highly illegal and considered treason."

She sneered.  "Who do you think set us up?"

"Apparently he changed his mind," Fornell shot back.  They brought in Charlie Epps.  "Charlie, have you seen your brother and father?"

"No," he moaned, being sat down in a chair.

"Find them."  He glared at the doctor in charge.  "You stole someone with a very high NSA clearance.  You also stole federal agents."

"Pity they're evil things," she sneered.

"Can I hit her?" Charlie asked.

Buffy was walked in.  "Hey," she said, looking at Fornell.  "Who're you?"

"Deputy Director Fornell of the FBI."

"One of the Feds Xander said Angel talked to?"

"And then some."

"What sort of demon are you?"

"I'm not but I know what's going on.  Not everywhere ignores such things, Miss Summers."  She nodded at that.  "Charlie, tap in and find them."

"My hand and wrist are broken."

"I'll type," Buffy offered, moving him to do what he said.  She found them.  "Um, one's in E-14.  That's where they just took Xander."

"Sir, there was a massive explosion down there a minute ago," one said quietly.  "We think it was someone getting free."

"Xander does like the pretty booms," she agreed.  "That's why he did the ones for graduation."

Fornell shook his head.  "It was necessary but bad."

"Not our fault the stupid mayor opened the hellmouth."

"Hellmouths are myths," one of the scientists shouted.

"Can I feed him to it?" Buffy asked Fornell.

"Don't tempt me."  She grinned.  Xander walked Don Epps and his father in, putting them down.  "Kid, you okay?"

"Exploding propane tank on a torch.  Oops," he said with a manic grin.  "Is Dean here yet?  He's going to fuss and I need hiding time after we release all the prisoners."

"Let me clear the human ones out first," Fornell ordered.

"Okay.  There's a whole section of human looking people down where I was."

"We'll let the prisoners out by section," Fornell decided.  That got a nod.  "Get them out of here, do not dawdle on the way back to the National Guard base.  Army CID is on their way."  That got a nod.  "Make sure they get competent medical treatment."

"You're going to have to go around the local hospital," Buffy said quietly as she was helped up.  "They're horrible."

"We know," he assured her with a smirk.  "We've got someone at the base waiting on you guys."  She nodded, letting herself be taken out.  Buffy came back. "You need looked over."

"You need a slayer if they get nasty."

"Faith's waiting on the base as well, Miss Summers."  She beamed.  "Dean called her when we got confirmation that this was bad.  We made sure she was local before we let Xander go into that bar."

"You respect Xander?"

"I've seen him in battle.  A few different times."  She nodded at that, heading off with the military guys.  She could come back later since only her heart hurt.  Riley had betrayed her.   She found Faith and Sam in the woods.  "It's nasty.  They're all in electric cages."

"That's fine, B," Faith said, looking her over.  "You okay?"

"Okay enough.  My boyfriend is a bastard.  Why do I date guys like that?"

"You think the danger's good and they understand where you're at," Sam told her.

"Set me up if you find nice guys?"

"Of course," he promised, giving her a hug.

She smiled and went to the jeep so she could be checked over and check on Xander, who was hovering over an agent, his brother, and his father.  "Are they part of the clan too?" she asked, grabbing some bandages to help him.

"No.  Friends of it."  She nodded at that, getting to work on their father's forehead.  "Gently."

"I'm trying."  Giles was let in.  "Giles, come help me."  He rushed over to pull her away so he could check her over.  "I'm okay.  They hadn't started on me yet.  I'm just kinda sad that it was Riley."

"You do have a history of it," Xander quipped.  She glared.  He stared back.  She slumped, nodding.  "Next time, go for a smart guy.  Like Charlie."

"Dating," he moaned.

Giles got some bandages to help as well.  "Are there not any doctors?"

"Six but they had some really serious injuries down there," Xander said, looking at him.  Giles tipped his face up.  "A propane tank exploded.  I took the torch it was attached to to it."  Giles shuddered.  "It worked.  We got free.  That's the important thing."

"It is," he agreed, giving him a hug.  "Are you staying?"

"Depends on what Dean was thinking about doing.  He talked me into making it more of a home base and doing both parts of the hunting around here."  That got a nod.  "So we're working it out."  He got back to work, finally getting done with Alan.  "There, how's that?"

"Good, kid.  Thank you."

"I'm Xander."

"Jethro's Xander?"

"Yeah, the curse stuck us here."

"Ah."  He got help sitting up from Giles.  "Boys, are we going to live?"

"No," Charlie said.  "Not with the pain in my arm."  Buffy looked then went to get one of the lesser medics to come help by setting it.  They decided to get them into an ambulance and take them to a real hospital.

Xander went to help bandage some of the others, finding only the Initiative people left.  So he went to help bandage the demons.  Fornell gave him an odd look.  "Nothing deserves that sort of treatment unless they're evil bastards like Hitler."  He walked in and knelt down in front of one he knew was dangerous but not too evil.  "Want help with bandaging?"  It nodded, letting him do it.  A few turned him down but most needed it and weren't going to attack.  A few were nearly insane in the pain.  He had Buffy come help him with them.   He ran into Spike, staring at him.  Then he shrugged and moved to help bandage him too.  Spike swatted at him.  Xander popped him on the side of the head, making him groan and grab his head.  "Huh?"

Spike looked up, his eyes watering.  "There's a bloody chip in there," he growled.  "A behavior chip."

"Fuck.  Fornell!" he shouted.  He came in.  "C'mere.  I haven't seen this one before."  He came over.  "This is Deputy Director Fornell, Spike.  Tell him."  He checked his scalp.  "It healed with a scar so you can tell where they went in."

"No proper feeding."  He looked at him then lunged and grabbed his head again.

"He's behavior chipped."

"That's very cruel."

"It means he can't feed either," Xander agreed.  "He was one of the worst Master Vamps we've dealt with.  He's killed two other slayers.  He's nearly gotten Buffy a few times. If it can do this to him...."

Fornell nodded.  "We'll find if others have one."  He called the hospital the Epps were at.  Don had one because he had tried to get free.  The neurosurgeons were working on him.  He hung up and came back.  "They're at UCLA's hospital."  Xander nodded.  "They're removing one there.  We'll know more then.  I'll have Angel told."

"Thanks."

"Poofter won't tell me," Spike told him.

Xander looked at him.  "Yes he will.  Otherwise he's got to support and keep you around to make sure you eat."  Spike smirked.  "I'll make sure he knows that."  He went back to his bandaging jobs.  He looked outside.  "It's dark.  I would suggest all vampires leave.  Now.  All the way out of town.  Heal somewhere else."

Buffy nodded.  "They treated you guys bad but the war's still on, vampy vamps."  She grinned.  "With both of us slayers here in town tonight?"  The vampires fled.  "Good.  Less work tonight."  She came over to check on Spike.  "We'll see if you can get yours out, Spike."  She ruffled his hair, getting swatted at.  She swatted back.  "I need humor around here.  Xander's not staying.  Dean's growly and outside."  She looked around but Xander had snuck off.  She went to finish up the last few patch jobs.  "Oooooh, sweetie, you need a healer bad don't you?"

"There's a few in LA," Spike told her, gripping his head.

"That's good."  She called.  "Cordy, hi, it's Buffy.  No, we just had a major problem.  Yeah, that one.  We have some up here that need healers and we have Spike, who now can't feed at all.  Well, Angel *is* his sire."  Dean stomped in.  "Dean, come help me for a minute please?  Then you can chase Xander down."  He came over to help.  She put the phone between her shoulder and ear.  "We could use Angel up here.  Or we can bring them down, whichever's better for him.  I've got a tiny little hairball with legs but no visible face.  It's ....  Yeah, one of those.  Got a picture phone?"   She beamed and took a picture, sending it over.  "There, show him that."  Cordelia yelled on that side, getting Angel to come look at the picture.  Cordelia gagged and ran to get sick.  She got to talk to Angel.

"Hi."  She smiled.  "We did.  We have Spike who needs you and a few others who need a healer.  They burned last year.  I don't know, some vamps did it.  Please.  The nice military guys are helping us right now but some are really bad.  Xander and I are patching up people.  What?"  She moved a bandage off an area.  "That's her mouth, Dean."  He nodded, avoiding it for her.  "Thanks, Angel.  What do you want us to do with Spike?  Because he's got a chip in his head that means he can't hurt anyone.  Yup, that's what we said."  She swatted a tentacle coming for her butt.

"Only snark, not pinch, bite, or anything.  Someone at UCLA is taking another person's out.  Thanks, Angel.  Yup.  Hiding already.  He had some boo-boos."  She smiled.  "Have a better night."  She hung up and got back to work.  "Angel said that there'll be a healer up this way within an hour," she told it.  It nodded its top portion.  "So we'll make sure you get to see him or her first."  She patted it gently on the hand.  Then she and Dean moved on.  The last injury was clearly infected.  "Should we bandage that?"

"I'd want to clean it first but I don't know how peroxide or alcohol would react on that."

Fornell walked over.  "You can't use either.  Get some plain water.  They're a swamp species," he said quietly.  Dean nodded, going to get a bottle of sterile water from the doctors.  One of them came back with him.  "They have a healer of their sort coming soon."

"That's good," the doctor said.  "Will alcohol hurt this one?"

"Yes.  They need water.  They're a swamp species."  Dean started by rinsing the wounds.  The water got sucked up.  "We need to submerge it probably."  That got a nod the doctor got a few more bottles of sterile water for now.  It was the best they could do in the field.  The healer was let in and Fornell bowed.  "Ma'am."

"Fornell.  What happened?"

"The Initiative base is down."

She shuddered.  "We had heard rumors."

"Um, this one's bleeding?" Buffy said, moving to hold it closed.

"Oh, dear."  She came over to check.  "Someone did very good bandaging work."

"Xander does a lot of mine too," Buffy said.

The healer looked at her.  "Why are you helping?"

"Because this is wrong.  Torture is always wrong."  She got a smile for it.  "Even on the worst of the bad guys it's wrong.  And they had harmless things.  That's very, very wrong!"

"Good point, child.  Thank you for your help.  I can handle it from here."

"Sure."  She got helped up by Dean.  "Let's go find Xander."  She looked at her hands.  "After I wash up."  He nodded, following her out to clean himself off too.  One of the medics had caught Xander and knocked him out.  He was on a bed being stitched.  "Did he run into a wall or something?"

"No, he argued," the medic said.  "The doctor said he wasn't to."

"Thank you," Dean said.  "Usually I have to hold him down to check injuries."  The medic laughed.  Dean came over to help.

"You stitch very well."

"We're roaming hunters.  We all stitch very well in this family."  He spotted Sam.  "Sammy!"  He came over.  "I have no idea what did this to him."

"He used the torch attached to the propane tank to blow the tank, getting him and that older guy he was treating earlier free," Buffy told him.  She hugged Sam.  "Hi, Sam."  She saw Faith.  "Hi, Faith."

"No hugging, B."

"Sorry."  She grinned.  "How bad?"

"There's a lot that never made it out.  A few they found alive so they're bringing them up."

"There's a demonic healer in their tent."

"That's good."  She went to tell someone that, getting a nod.  She came back to find Xander starting to wake up.  "Damn you create pretty hell, Xan."

He grinned weakly.  "Thank you."

"You keep destroying stuff and pretty soon there won't be a Sunnydale," Buffy joked.

"They'll rebuild.  They always do."  He shifted, getting a one-handed pet from Dean.  "I was helping."

"Then you ran before I could check on you."  He smirked.  "I won't spank this time."  Tony strolled in.  "Why are you on this coast?"

"A few of the people are attached to Marine bases instead of Army bases.  Our director got the bare bones and Gibbs volunteered me so I could check on you kids."  He looked Xander over  "Bold, yet stupid plan, Xander."

"It was going to happen anyway."

"Good point."  He patted him on the hand.  "You can go finish planting the garden if you want."

"We're going to meet up with Dad in a few weeks," Dean said.  Sam looked at him.  "At Mom's grave."

"I'll be there.  I can fly in specially for it." Faith looked at him.  "That's why I'm working on top of all the other stuff."

"I'm not gonna mind for something like that, Sam.  It's important."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "B, wanna hunt down the vamps?"

"I told the ones they had to head out of town.  The rest are still probably cowering."

"Or Willie's throwing a party," Xander said.

"We can go threaten Willie.  I haven't gotten to threaten him in nearly a month."  Faith grinned.  "We can even take Sam to the Bronze."

"That'll work."  She looked at him.  "Club hunt?"

He grinned.  "If you want."  She nodded.  "Need to work off some stress and anger?" he asked in her ear.  She nodded, staring at him.  "Okay."  She smirked.  "C'mon.  Dean, I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Sure, Sammy.  Take care of your girl."  He grinned at their back.  Then down at Xander.  "She's got him wrapped around her finger."  Xander nodded.

"Like you two aren't?" Tony suggested.

"Well, maybe a bit because I'm so adorable," Dean said with a smug look.

"Is that why you only yelled when some girl picked your boy up on the beach and broke into a house to have sex with him, but then committed suicide and left him hanging in chains?"

Dean stared down at his mate.  "I only heard the committed suicide while she was being kinky part."  Xander shrugged.  "Uh-huh."  He looked at Tony again.  "That just proves she was even more whacko than we thought."

"Uh-huh.  Keep that opinion," Tony said dryly.   He looked down at Xander.  "Doc, can he be released?  We need statements from him."

"Sure," he agreed.  He finished bandaging the cuts he and Dean had stitched.  "There you go, young man.  Most should not scar but if they do you can use a scar bleaching cream or tan them out."  Xander nodded, letting Dean help him up.  "Why are you limping?"

"You knocked me down and I turned my ankle," he said dryly.

The medic smirked at him as Tony walked them off.  "Much too tough for good sense," he muttered.

Tony looked back.  "You have no idea," he mouthed, cracking the medic up.  He got them into the command tent.  "This is Mr. Harris and his boyfriend Mr. Winchester."

"Mr. Harris.  Were you here?"

"I was.  I was coming back into town and checked up on some rumors before I ran into anything too bad."

"Why?"

He blinked then looked at Tony.  "There's a small protection patrol to protect against the bad demons eating people," Tony told her.

"All right, I can understand that.  You're on it?"

"Yes.  Her weapons person."

"Okay.  That explains a few things."  Dean patted Xander down, finding his necklace but not his pocket knife.

"We found his bag of possessions," the CID person promised.  "I want to know what happened and when you knew what was going on."

"I knew something was going on while I was in Miami a few weeks back to scope some bikinis.  I've been checking in on my friends and things.  When we made it back to LA, I stopped in to see a contact and I stopped in to see the agent they had.  He knows about this stuff and handled the battle at graduation."

"Battle at graduation?"

"That gas main explosion was a huge demon attacking," Dean said.  "Then the hellmouth opened and sucked."

"Okay," she said more slowly.  "What's a hellmouth?"  Xander sat down to go over the full town's story with her.  She took good notes.  It'd help her later.  He also hooked her into Giles so she could ask him all sort of more technical questions.  They got down to why call Fornell, and he said he knew him through a few other agents and he had known Don Epps personally.  That went over well and they let him go.  Fornell handed him back his bag of stuff they confiscated.  He also got a smirk from the King for that story.  Xander shrugged.  "Tony, can we go nap?"

"Yes, go nap."

"Stay away from the motel if you can.  You'll get eaten."

"We can stay on base," Tony promised.  "Or in their frat house  they used for cover."  That got a nod and Dean led Xander off to where the Impala was hiding.  He looked at Fornell.  "Got any suggestions?"

"Make him handle things at home for a while until his destructive phase is over with?" Tony laughed.  "Even Buffy mentioned it."

"She's not a bad girl, just a bit self-absorbed now and then."

"She was dating Finn.  She tried to protect him."

"Not after it was proved to her."

"Good point."  They shared a look and sighed.  "They're where?"

"The Bronze.  It's a club downtown."

"That works for me."  He walked off, going to handle the clean up and arresting.  There were a few who hadn't been in there.  The last hunting team had been found and brought in.  Their prisoner was handed over to the healers and then they were handed to CID.  By the morning time, this whole mess would be cleaned up and everyone could ignore it some more.

Part 4

Xander looked up as someone walked into the throne room, getting out of Jethro's chair for him.  "Dean's nagging his father.  I let them have the special moment because Dean said he wanted to be alone."

"That's fine, Xander.  I don't mind.  What's with the hat code?"

"The ugly hats are coming?"  Jethro nodded, sitting down.  "You'll be tired of it within a minute."

"Wonderful.  Better than paperwork."  The 'ugly hats' were let in and bowed to them, huffing in irritation at Xander being there.  "Yes, he's my guardian and it's his time to hear problems while I'm working.  What's your complaint?"

They stared then started off on how the local market was not opening like they wanted and how no one wanted to let them do what they wanted.

"Why would you tear down housing to put up a shop?" Xander asked.  "We're in a housing crunch right now and need to build more, not tear down some to have less."  Gibbs looked at him.  "Record pregnancy rate since we've been back, Jethro.  I talked to Healer Carson and she said there was already a housing crunch.  This'll make it worse."

"So we need housing?"

"Yes.  I talked to the town's council and they've been planning how to do that.  They think they want to extend the left and right walls out by a few more yards and put up some more buildings that way.  They're making final plans right now."

"I've noticed some look to be fairly weak," Jethro said.  Xander nodded.  "We'll work on that later.  Have them bring that to me personally."  Xander nodded, sending a guard to tell them that.  "If we had an excess of housing or a lot of empty buildings, I wouldn't care if you wanted to renovate that way.  I won't let you evict people when there's nowhere for them to live."

"They can live outside the walls," one sneered.

"Why should they have to live in such a dangerous place?" Xander shot back.  "Then again, why is the market where it is?"  Jethro looked at him.  "It's an odd place and not on a direct path from the gates.  I've always wondered that."

"It was that way when I took over.   No one wanted to live around the animals."

"There's that whole storage area by the walls.  We could lay a huge market there, including animals, and it'd be easier to get things in."

"That's not a bad idea.  Then turn the old market area into better buildings once they were made habitable?"  Xander nodded.  "That's not a bad idea.  I'll bring it to them."  They stomped off.  "Now I know why that code exists," he sighed.

"Yeah.   They don't like me.  They consider me beneath talking to them."  Jethro snorted.  The town's council filed in.  "Hey."

"Lord Jethro, we were going to come to you when we had some concrete plans."

"We have an idea," Xander offered.  They smiled.  "What about moving the market down to those old storage areas by the wall?  It'd be easier for shippers to get to it.  It'd be easier for the farmers to bring things in.  We could use the old market area to build bigger, well- built houses."

They looked at each other.  "Some may complain about the stink."

"That part of the wall needs rebuilt anyway," Jethro said.  "Build it with that in mind, including ventilation grills."

They gaped.  Then looked at each other  "That may work, Overlord.  Thank you!"  They rushed off to talk to their planning committee for the wall project.  They could build in much of the structure, which would be safer than wooden buildings.  Plus it'd be easier if they did have another fire like they'd had last century.

Jethro smirked. "That was a good idea, kid."  Xander beamed.  "Stitches come out when?"

"Yesterday."

Jethro laughed.  "You?"

"Yuppers."  Dean walked in.  "Hey.  How did it go?"

"Not bad.  Thanks."

"You needed time to talk to your mom, Dean.  I'm not mean."  He patted his cheek.  "They're going to be putting more buildings up in town for houses."

"They need it.  Some families are squished together in tiny places," Dean told Jethro.  "Healer Carson's entire clan apparently lives with her in her three-bedroom house."

"Ow.  In-laws too?"  Dean nodded.  "We'll definitely work on that."

"She said she wanted to do the same thing that happened to us so she could learn more about humans and some accents," Xander said.

"I'll see if we can arrange that for her," Jethro greed.  "No one deserves their in-laws living with them."  The boys laughed.  "You two go be boys."  They nodded, leaving him there to handle things instead of paperwork DiNozzo was doing for him.  His phone rang.  "Yeah, Gibbs."  He listened.  "I'll be right back, DiNozzo.  Get the truck."  He hung up and headed back through the portal to Ducky's office, coming out and walking around him.  "Morning, Ducky.  There's a new body in Georgetown."

Ducky finished his tea and cookie to follow him.  "Mr. Palmer, there's a new body."  He came over to help him gather what they'd need.

***

Xander and Dean wandered around the town, making a list of buildings that probably needed fixed.  They ran into the healer, who looked at Xander's face.  "I'm fine.  I pulled the stitches yesterday."

"You missed a few."

"I can get 'em, Doc.  Don't worry about it," Dean said with a grin.  "Jethro said if you wanted to escape your in-laws he'd arrange it for you."

She beamed.  "Thank you.  They want us to spawn and there's no room in the house.  Or privacy."  They both grinned.  "What are we doing?"

"We are looking at the condition of the buildings," Xander said.  "Some look like they're ready to fall in."

"Some are," she agreed.  "The last rulers put up cheap wood buildings."  She led them off to let them look at a few stunning examples on one block.  They groaned and Xander went to get one of the councilors to talk to him.  She smiled at Dean.  "What happened?"

"He was captured to help bring down that Initiative problem."

"Excuse me?"

Dean nodded.  "He used a torch they were going to use on him and an older man, one of Fornell's people, to get free by torching the tank attached to it.  That's what gave him all those little cuts."

"Oh, dear."

"He's fine.  That was the plan going in.  He even helped by bandaging some of the demons since no one else was."

"He's a strong boy," she agreed.  The councilor came back and moaned at the buildings swaying in the breeze.  "Do we have anywhere to house them?"

"No."

"Can we do a temporary switch?" Xander asked.  "Move them to an older building, rehab one that's empty, the move them there?"

"If we put off moving the market, we can start here," another said.  "Use those warehouses for a bit.  Some aren't totally safe but the rest should do."  That got a nod.  "Get our builder."  A guard went to get him up since he had went home for a nap.  "This is not good.  We didn't know they were this flimsy."

"I had a patient lean against a wall and fall through it last year," Carson told him.

"Then it definitely needs fixed first.  Then we'll move the market."  That got an odd look.  "Lord Xander suggested we move it down where the wall needs to be worked on.  Easier access for carters.  We can build in some of the structures and ventilation system."  She smiled at the boy for that, getting a sheepish look back.  "Then we could turn the old market area into housing."

"That's not a bad idea once it's cleaned up."  She looked around.  "If only so I can get my entire clan out of my house."  The councilor laughed.  "You laugh but my mate's family is in now too and my sisters.  The only one who isn't with me is my brothers' family."

"That's too many in one residence," the first councilor complained.

"Nowhere else for them to go."

"Damn."  The builder came back.  He stared where they pointed.  "Get the warehouses ready to move them.  As soon as humanly possible.  Let the city's guards help.  Do it gently."  He nodded, going to handle that to make sure they were able to be used.

"On earth we have a program called Habitat for Humanity," Xander said.  They all looked at him.  "It's a program to put poor families into a home instead of an apartment.  The way it works is a small interest loan and volunteers.  If you get approved for a house through them, you have to put in so many volunteer hours with the group.  On your home and others' homes.  It's almost all volunteer and donation."

"We could get a good volunteer drive going," Dean said.  "A beautify our city thing."

The councilors smiled at the boys.  "Most don't know how to do those sort of things."

"Neither do those volunteers, but how hard is it to teach them to pound in a nail or use a nail gun?  We'd need someone professional to lay pipes, electric, those things, but for the basic framing and that stuff as long as you had enough supervision from people who did know it should be fine."

"Good point.  Would the overlord like that?"

"Probably.  It'd also give people a lot of pride in their town.  They could point and say 'we made that' or 'we helped create our own house'.  Plus Jethro's presently working on a boat in his basement."

They smiled and nodded.  "We shall talk about that idea.  Not everyone would want to help."

"If it's a full community project, the shame of the higher ups not helping would get them shunned.  The lower ones that have to work outrageous hours would probably help more," Dean said.   That got a smirk.  "It'd also save the city a lot of money and make it a capitol to brag about."

"It would," they agreed.  They took notes on what the builder said when he came back.

"Move them today," Xander said.  "Because I just heard a creak.  That's got to be dangerous."

"Yes, Guardian."  The guards went to start knocking on doors.

"Do not be mean to them," Xander called after them.  "Help them."  That got a nod as well and a few grins.  He looked at the councilors.  "I know a few of the guys on the outer gate got put there for bullying people."

"Too true. They can haul things."  He smirked and they went back to talk about that idea.  The capitol would be a beautiful place soon enough.  Worthy of their overlord and heirs.  They'd probably even help.  Jethro's clan had been that way before.  It would make the other cities in the kingdom do the same to keep up.  Beauty was always appreciated by the people wanting to move here.  Which would bring more business and money, which would grow their kingdom quite well.

***

Xander walked out of the elevator at Jethro's work, handing him the scroll.  "The formal plans."

Jethro paused in his scowling to read it then looked at him.  "Habitat?"

"Basically.  We found a few blocks that were swaying in the gentle breeze.  They're in the warehouses by the wall until their blocks can be fixed first."

"Not a bad idea.  The volunteer drive would help a lot of people get involved, make them more proud of their city.  Help a lot of people and save the city some money."

Xander leaned down.  "Dean thinks he found the vault."  Jethro smirked.  "He's not sure though."   He stood up.  "That one was an immediate need.  Then they'll go on with the market plans.  He built some really cheap housing.  Healer Carson said someone fell through a wall last year by leaning on it too heavily."  Jethro shuddered.  "The town needs it."

"It does.  This would make it go faster," he agreed.  "Good ideas, Xander."

"Thank you.  Carson would love to take you up on that offer if you can get Ducky to arrange it.  Everyone but her brother who lives in town is in her house right now.   She's got like seventy of them in her house plus her and her husband."  Jethro shuddered.  "A three bedroom place, Jethro."

"Granted.  As long as there's someone to do it in the town."

"There's six others as I found out."  Jethro smirked.  "I asked, she told me."  He nodded, handing it back.  "We need official approval."  He found that area and signed it, handing it back.  "Thank you.  Buffy and I are fighting about me going home now and then."

Jethro sighed.  "I do want you to do less dangerous things, Xander.  I know that it's important that you and Dean do what you do.  I know what drives you both.  I'd like you to be in a less dangerous area."

"Dean roams."

"I heard that.  I also don't like how they funded the hunting."  Xander nodded.  "Finish your vacation up there.  We'll talk about it in a few weeks.  Don't fight about it."

"I liked Dean's plan to set Sunnydale as a homebase and for us to do both sorts as needed."

"That's not a bad compromise plan," Jethro agreed.  "What's stopping it?"

"Buffy."

Jethro groaned.  "Too normal to help?"

"That and I'm apparently in a destructive phase."

"You can get that out tearing down the bad buildings."  Xander nodded.  "Drop it for a while, but don't let her think she won.  Tell her I ordered you to finish healing before you make that decision."

"Yes, Jethro.  Thank you for understanding."  He left, going back down to Ducky's office.  Carson was there talking with him.  Ducky was more than happy to help her do that.  He sent Xander back to the castle then reconfigured his portal to work for her.  She stepped through and was whisked back to her human life, starting about thirty years earlier so she was about the same age but now male.  Xander sat down next to Dean.  "He wants us to hold off fighting with Buffy for a few weeks."

"I can agree with that.  How do we do it without making her think she won?"

"He's ordered me to finish healing."  He smirked.  Dean smirked back.  Dean called Buffy to tell her that and that they were pushing back plans to come back thanks to the project here in town.  They were both going to volunteer a lot of hours to it.  Starting with Xander blowing up those old buildings.  Under Horatio's careful watch since Xander only studied the bigger explosions, not the smaller ones.

***

Xander bounced into the Magic Box, handing over pictures. "The first of the new buildings was put up.  We did a really good job.  The families are very happy with it."

She smiled at the pictures they had taken.  "Way to go, Xander."

"We're rehabbing the whole town.  That section really needed it.  It was going to fall over.  The town's going to be putting up a new market by the walls and then replace the old one with new houses too."  That got a nod and she handed them to Willow.  "Then the rest of the town gets fixed."

She laughed.  "Sounds like you guys have a lot of work."

"We're Habitating it.  It's almost all volunteer work.  When we start putting up the new buildings in the old market area there'll be a volunteer quota to meet to get first residency."  She smiled and nodded.  "The guys who cursed us put up a lot of really flimsy buildings."

"The rooming house was one," she agreed.

"No that one's just old."  She nodded that she understood that.  "So, I'm back.  Dean's off looking at apartments.  And you, my dear, have a problem coming.  What's wrong with your mother?"  She gaped.  Xander nodded.  "I saw her.  She looked really pale and shaky."

"She's been having migraines."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"You don't start migraines for no reason, Buffy.  That's something to drag your mom to the doctor about.  Even if you have to carry her."  She rushed home to do that.  He looked at Willow.  "Yes, we're back.  We'll be traveling part of the time and hunting here the rest."

"Does his dad like that plan?"

"Yeah, he does."  He grinned at Giles.  "We'll be back on patrol tomorrow night."

"That would be fine, Xander.  She's got a date."

"She's found someone decent this time?"  They both shook their heads.  He sighed, shaking his.  "Dean's calling around to see if there's any cute hunters outside of him."  He skipped off.  "Going to pick up my stuff in storage.  We'll host a welcoming party tomorrow after patrol."

"Sure," Willow called after him.  "Wow.  Way too much energy."

Giles laughed.  "Indeed but it is a breath of fresh air."  The phone rang. "Magic Box... Joyce, Xander told her to.  That is a serious problem."

"Xander said you're going or he's going to carry you," Willow called loudly.

"The boy does worry about you, Joyce.  What harm would it do to have it checked over?"  He smiled.  "Exactly.  They are back.  Thank you, Joyce.  Of course I can drive you over so your daughter doesn't crash you both and kill you.  Let me get over there."  He hung up and went for his car.  Willow could run the store.  He took her outside of town since they were so pathetic at the local hospital.  Telling the quick care place inside the ER of the hospital that they were from Sunnydale got them seen nearly immediately.  They didn't like their hospital either it seemed.  Joyce got sent for immediate tests.  Buffy went with her to hold her hand.  Giles got himself some tea from the cafeteria to wait with.  It was going to be a while.

***

Xander whistled at their apartment.   "This is huge, Dean.  How can we afford this?"

Dean smirked.  "The owner's on the local construction company.  He hired me earlier."

"Oooh.  Me?"

"You can apply tomorrow.  He's expecting you.  He does know.  He is a harmless demon."  Xander grinned.  "And he knew about Jethro.  It's only four hundred a month plus utilities."

"Cool."  He took a kiss.  "Where are we setting up?"

"The bedroom's there," he said with a point.  "Do we have any furniture?"

"Nope.  The thrift shop is up the street."

"We can do that," Dean agreed, going to do that.  The Impala could carry some smaller things.  The bigger things he could pay the extra twenty bucks a pickup truck load to get delivered.  They had everything they needed but a mattress.  He called Xander, who went to find them one.  That got sent too.  They settled in after a quick run for food, deciding to collapse on the couch for a few hours watching the old tv running on an antenna.  "I'd steal cable but I don't feel like climbing outside tonight."

"We can get some with our first paycheck," Xander promised. "I do have some tapes."

"Sure, put something not Star Trek on."  Xander grimaced at him.  "What?  I don't like Star Trek.  I'll be a supporting spouse who only rolls their eyes."

"Uh-huh."  He put on something else and they settled to watch the taped shows.  Someone knocked.  Xander got up to get it, nodding at the man on the other side.  "Yes?"

"Mr. Harris?"  He nodded.  He handed over the form.

"What's this?"

"You need to be there for that hearing, young man.  That's a summons."

Xander groaned.  "Thank you."  He nodded and left.  Xander sat down beside his mate to read it over.  "I'm not being sued."

"No you're not."  They looked at each other and sighed, then went to look up that name online.  They did have a phone line that was still active.   Then they called Horatio since it was in his area of the world.  They got Speed since Horatio was knocked out at the moment.

***

Xander walked into the courtroom wearing the best clothes he had, sitting down in the place the bailiff pointed him at.  He had a lawyer, someone cheap that Horatio had found him.  They came in a few minutes later to sit next to him.  "Any idea?"

"No."  He patted his hand.  "We'll be fine, Xander."  He nodded.  The judge came in and he pulled the boy up.  Then they sat after he did.

"I see we're all here."

"My client doesn't even know why we're here," Xander's lawyer said.

"He is a material witness in this divorce hearing."

"Why?" Xander asked.  "And how would I know?"  The judge pointed at the couple.  He shrugged.  "I don't know either of them."

"I slept with you," she huffed.

Xander looked at her.  "No you didn't."  He stared at her.  "No, not coming to me."

"Last year."

"I wasn't in town last year.  The only time I've been to Miami was this last summer on vacation."  The judge looked at him.  "Really."  He shrugged.  "I came down to stare at bikinis.  I was in town for all of three days before then but I didn't sleep with anyone.  I was down to talk to a family member in the local police department.  I hid all that time."

"We had an affair for the last six years," the woman said.

"Then you're in trouble with the law since I'm only nineteen," Xander told her.  The judge stared.  He handed over his license from his wallet.  The judge looked then handed it back with a nod.  "I don't know what her problem is but this is weird."

"This is," the judge agreed.  "Can you prove it, ma'am?"

She handed over copies of letters.  "He wrote those to me.  He's obviously lying about his age."

The judge looked at them.  Some of the pet names were disgusting.  He looked at the boy.  "Pookie?"

"Eww?  My boyfriend would hate that."

The judge cleared his throat.  "You're gay as well?"

"It was kinda an arranged thing.  When I was in Miami the last time I did get to have my last few women ever."

"I see.  That seems reasonable of your future spouse."

"He got the same."

The judge nodded at that.  "Did you write these, Mr. Harris?"  He handed them to bailiff to be handed on.

Xander looked then shook his head.  "That's not my handwriting."  He handed it back.  He looked at the lawyer.  "You had stuff I signed."

"I do."  He dug it out to hand over.  "So you can compare the signatures."

The judge did that.  "They're not even close in writing style."  He handed both sets back. "Sir, what is your take on this situation?"

"I just want her gone, Your Honor.  I have no idea what's going on but this isn't my wife.

"Test her with holy water yet?" Xander joked.  His lawyer scowled.

"She won't go into a church and I'm very religious.  That's what started off this new round of fighting.  I don't know what is going on but I don't want her, Your Honor."

The judge looked at the boy.  "Why try holy water?"

Xander grinned.  "Because it seems to be the first, most harmless test if you have a sudden personality change and you can do it on the way to see the doctor if it's a medical condition."

"Do you know people it's worked on?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"No comment."  He stared him down and the judge shivered.  "Really."

"Fine, keep that secret, young man."  He looked back at the couple.  "I see no reason to keep Mr. Harris here and off work or away from his future spouse."

"He's mine!" she shouted, getting up to lunge at Xander.  Xander got the lawyer out of the way and caught her in a way that brought her to the ground.  "I'll have you!  You will be mine!"  Xander found his holy water vial and poured it on her, making her shriek and her eyes change colors.  "No!"  Xander mumbled the exorcism chant while keeping her pinned, no matter how much she struggled.  She finally went limp after the cloud left her.  He looked down at her.  Then he slowly moved, letting her run to her husband to cry on.  "I'm sorry," she sobbed.  "It made me."

Xander nodded politely at the judge.  "I don't know either."

She looked at him.  "You're keeping the ones it wants from doing its bidding."

"Yay me," he said dryly.

"It wants you and your spawn."

"My spawn isn't born yet."  He smiled gently.  "Go find your family reverend or priest."  She nodded, letting her husband take her to do that.  He bowed to the judge.  "Thank you for not having me stopped.  I'm going to fade into the sunlight and hide now."  He left while the judge complained.  He headed back home through Horatio's portal then theirs, finding Dean waiting on him.  "The demon infecting her wanted me because I was taking you from doing its bidding."

"Which one?"

"No clue.  I didn't question her since we were in court."

Dean shuddered.  "Eww."

"Material witness to a divorce."

"Wonderful."

"Why are you home?"

"Broken water main.  It's flooded."

"Ah."  Xander settled in beside him, giving him a hug.  "I left the judge complaining."

"That's always a better idea."  He gave Xander the comfort he wanted.  He wasn't one for cuddling but his boy clearly needed it.  He called his father to warn him.  It looked like something was gunning for the Winchester clan again.  Pity for that demon.  He called Sam to warn him too.  Sam was more vulnerable.  Faith was good but not that great and Sammy always drew trouble.

***

Faith hung up.  "You get into more trouble than Xander does," she yelled.  "Just barely."

"What happened at the trial?" he called back from the bedroom.  He was putting up laundry.  When nothing came he walked out to look at her.  "That bad?"

"A demon wanted Xander because he was stopping Dean from doing what the demon wanted."

"Huh.  It appeared in the courtroom?"

"No, he was a material witness to a divorce hearing.  The wife was possessed.  Xan had to do an exorcism.  She told him afterward."

Sam groaned.  "What now?"

"Who knows but you're in trouble if it spreads."

"Yes, Faith."  He grinned.  "You know I don't mean for it to happen."

"Yeah, neither does Xander but it does and he keeps destroying stuff."

He kissed her.  "Want to go up to help build some of the new houses this weekend?  That way we can check on them?"

"I know nothing about building anything."

"It's not that hard.  You can hold stuff and help a lot.  The whole clan is helping out."

"Fine.  I'll go be super strong and hold stuff."  He grinned again, giving her a squeeze before going back to the laundry.  She shook her head, going to the kitchen to get a snack.  Her boy was a huge goofball.

***

Horatio hung up the phone with a sigh of displeasure.  "Problems?" Calleigh asked.

"A demon wanted Xander because he's stopping Dean from doing what the demon's plans call for."

"Why?"

"The wife of the divorcing couple was possessed.  They called him as a material witness to get him down here.  She told him that after he exorcized her in open court."

"She okay?" she asked.

"Fine now.  His lawyer was not amused."

"That's not what you want to have happen in a court of law," she said dryly.  "Even when Xander's involved."

Horatio smiled, nodding.  "Apparently.  They're calling around to warn others I'm sure."  He looked around their present crime scene then sighed in displeasure.  "Where is our detective?"

"Maybe they got possessed too," she teased.

"Don't even joke about that," he said blandly, scowling at her behind his sunglasses.  She grinned back.  He called the dispatch officer again.  "This is Lieutenant Caine.  My crime scene still has no detective.  Have they reported they've been shot or in an accident?"  He smirked. "I would suggest they suddenly get shot, yes.  Thank you.  Switch this one to Salas and call her for us please."  He hung up.  "Ours decided to go to lunch and is out of contact for the last two hours."

"Charming.  We got called three hours ago," she said bluntly.

"That's why I suggested he find a way to get shot."  Yelina got there within twenty minutes and got to work with them.  It let Alexx take the body with her and Calleigh finish her evidence gathering so they could go back to the lab.  Horatio went to find the head guy in Homicide.  Apparently someone needed a talk.  Should he use Rick's hanging around this time?  He considered it then decided he was that mean.  He went to talk to him first then the captain with him.  "Rick," he said, making him scowl since he had flinched.  "I have a problem with a detective that got called to a scene three hours before we switched over.  He never showed up and went to lunch, out of contact, two hours into it."

"Why?"

"I do not care."

"Good point.  Homicide?"  Horatio nodded.  "Eppins?"  Horatio smirked and nodded.  "His captain told yet?"

"I came to you first.  I figured you could talk to him after finding the call times."

"Agreed.  Meet you there in ten minutes."  He walked off to get those from Dispatch then head to that office.  Someone was getting their ass chewed.  Horatio in that sort of mood made people cry and quit the force before they could get fired.  He heard the pithy comment Horatio had made, scowling at it.  "Being shot wouldn't help him any."  He went to the captain's office.  "He was called at 12:04.  Again at 12:30.  At 1:08 he called in that he was going to lunch, was going to be out of contact for an hour.  The dispatcher told him that he was already supposed to be called to a scene and he hung up on her.  He still hasn't put himself back into contact."  He put that information down.  "I doubt having him shoot himself would help him any," he told Horatio.

"It would've been the only reasonable excuse I could've seen for him not showing up.  Thankfully, Yelina knows her job very well."

The captain looked at him.  "I hate it when you're in this mood.  Your nephew screw up again?"

"No.  An odd incident to a family I watch over more than anything.  This one was pissing me off long before then."

Rick nodded.  "I'm surprised he waited three hours.  The last time he waited one and called it in to have him found and arrested."

Horatio smirked.  "It was a beautiful day and Alexx got there a bit late due to traffic.  We gave him the extra hour so we had time to work without a simpering idiot trying to hit on Calleigh.  Or having him trip over us while looking over the scene, like last time.  He truly is not qualified to help old ladies and school children across a street.  I don't know how he passed his detective's exam."

The captain sighed.  "I'll look into this."

"Yes, we will be," Rick agreed.  "This is his second one."

"Fine, you look into it and tell me," he offered, handing back the forms.  Stetler was always in a truly foul mood whenever he had to work *with* Caine.  He didn't want to be in the crossfire this time.  He might end up badgeless too.  "Have fun and let me know, Stetler."

"Thank you."  He walked off to get into the guy's files.

Horatio smirked.  "It's better to give him something to do and a target."

"They really screw up that much?"

"He performed an exorcism in open court," Horatio said dryly.  The captain gaped.  Horatio nodded with a slight hum.  "Yes, that's my other nephew."  He walked off to get into the case in the lab.  Calleigh looked at him.  "I let Rick handle it."

She checked his forehead with her wrist.  "Are you sick?"

"A bit tired.  This weekend I need to go up there to help with some rebuilding tasks.  Xander suggested they do a Habitat for Humanity style project to revamp a lot of the housing downtown and also build new ones since we have a tight housing crunch there.  Most of the clan will be up there to help out."

"I can help."

"You have call."

"Oops.  Eric can take it so I can help.  Since he's had two sick days off he'll probably want the time."

"Make sure first, Calleigh."  She smiled and did that then got back to work beside him.  Speed leaned in.  "Are you coming up this weekend?"

"Yup.  Alexx can't.  One of the kids popped up the flu and she said she doesn't want it to spread."

"That's reasonable."

"How many buildings are going up?"

"We've got plans to put up eight buildings and revamp a few of the sturdier ones already in old market area.   The new one by the walls is widely praised and a lot of people like it better.  It has better ventilation so it doesn't stink up the city."

"That's good.  I'm amazed it only took them two months to revamp that and the other buildings."

"It was necessary.  Someone had fallen through a wall by leaning on it."  Speed moaned, shaking his head.  "Things are going well.  As things keep moving on, life will get back to normal.  Others are working on their own houses as well.  The city will once again be a pretty capitol for the clan."

"Good.  Ten Saturday?"

"That's fine, Speed."  He went to his own lab to work.

"Should I bring coffee or anything?" Calleigh asked.

"Bring a can of coffee.  We'll perk it there."  She nodded.   "I will warn you not to drink the local water.  It needs the filters changed in the filtration unit."

"I can remember that."  She smiled at him.  "How big is the main city?"

"Not huge.  We have about six thousand living there and room for about four at the moment.  That's why we're doing the big push to build."

"That's a good thing."

"The healer our family has worked with had her mate, all his family, all her family but her brother and his family, in her home.  A small three bedroom bungalow with seventy people."

She shuddered.  "That's worse than some newly immigrated families that live together for three or four generations."

"It is.  That's why she opted to be sent back as a human to learn more medical skills from our sciences.  She has a thing for accents so she's now Scottish and male."  She giggled.  "Ducky heard from him.  He's very happy."  They got back to work.

Yelina walked in.  "Other nephew?"

"The family I watch over, Yelina."

"Oh, them.  Which one did it this time?"

"Xander," Calleigh said.  "It was necessary to protect himself."

Yelina sighed, shaking her head.  She walked off again to get back to her own work.  She did not understand that other family at all.  They were all insane to her.  They were dragging Horatio down.  She'd have to speak to him in private about it before they made him leave the city or something.

***

Xander looked up from his building, smiling at Jethro.  "Hey, Jethro."  He shook his hand.  "This one's being rehabbed.  We're taking out the interior walls to put up insulation, strengthen it, then putting up new interior walls."

"Is it going to housing?"

"Medical clinic."

"That's a good use."  He came in to look around.  "We're sure the outer walls are strong enough?"

"Not really but we'll be dropping a new frame behind it," Dean said as he joined them, handing over coffee.  "Calleigh brought it up.   Horatio's manning that and the medical station since he can't use a hammer."

"Thanks, boys."  They got to work on that one.  They could reframe one of the walls by lunch he hoped.  Both boys were doing construction so that helped.  They got two walls done before lunch and came out to the city-wide barbeque.  Jethro looked around.  "Not a lot of helpers today."

"They're all at work," the guy in charge said.

Jethro cleared his throat.  "I'm declaring today, tomorrow, and the next day to be beautification days!" he announced.  The crowd cheered.  "Unless your job is necessary, I want you to work on your own home or help us here.  Before more people have to live with their in-laws."  They went to spread the news.  Lunch went on a bit longer with more people filing in but they got a lot more work done with so many helpers.  Some went to work on their own houses with their families but that was fine.  He didn't want to force anyone to work.  He saw the kids and frowned.  "They shouldn't be around construction. "

Xander jogged over, smiling at them.  "Hi, kids."  They beamed at him.  "Boss, we're taking them to the plaza."

"Don't plant there yet," the overseer said.  "We have some heavy equipment coming in.  Go seed grass in the new playground up the street."  Xander nodded, walking them with that way with a few helpers and some bags of seeds.  The helpers came back to get some scrap wood for fences for a flower garden or three for the girls who wanted one.  The boys got to throw seeds all over the place.  They even had a seed fight but one of the mothers made them shake off in different areas.  By the time work closed for the night, the new park and playground area was wonderful looking.  The overseer came over to look, nodding.  "Good job, kids."  They cheered.  "There's another barbeque and picnic tonight."  They ran to find their parents and brag.

Xander grinned.  "They had a lot of fun throwing seeds and planting flowers."

"That's what kids do," a mother agreed.  "Throw things and dig in the dirt."  She walked off to get her own child back and have some dinner with them.  They'd be doing it again tomorrow too.  With any luck some of the new homes would be complete by the end of the weekend so the families that were still in temporary housing could be moved.

***

Tony walked in on Tuesday limping and holding his back.  "Kate, can you get my muscle rub out of my desk for me please?  I can't bend."  She came over to hand it to him.  "Thanks."  He went to the bathroom to put some on, coming back very slowly.

"What did you do?" she demanded.

"Went to help a building push this weekend with the boss and Abby."  He sat down with a moan then his face tightened up.  "That was a mistake.  Help me up?"  She came over to help him up but it wasn't going to work.

"Let me get Ducky," she said, calling down there.  "Palmer, Tony needs Ducky.  He just threw his back by sitting down in his desk chair."  She hung up and watched Gibbs come strolling in like usual.  "Gibbs, Tony can't move."

Gibbs looked at him.  "I didn't think you were that sore, DiNozzo."

"I wasn't until I woke up this morning, boss.  Then I made the mistake of sitting down.  I don't think I can move."  Ducky came up to check him over, having him slowly lean forward then try to stand.  His knees buckled from the pain, but he could catch himself on the desk.  Ducky sat him back down.  "Ducky, can I go lay down on an autopsy table until it pops or whatever?"

"Of course, Anthony."  He rolled the chair with him.   He could ignore the smiles.  "Threw his back," he told the director when they found her in the elevator.

"Doing what?"

"I helped Gibbs and Abby with a building push this weekend," he said.  "I was fine until I sat down.  Then my back locked up."

"As long as you can get back to work relatively soon.  How many buildings?"

"We were working on about eight new ones and three rehabbed ones in the same general area of the city we were in."  He yawned.  "We got one full building complete in the three days plus all three rehabbed one.  One of which is going to be a new medical clinic.  We did good.  Very sturdy stone construction."

"It's a good thing to do," she decided.  "The others?"

"Jethro looked a bit stiff but otherwise fine," Ducky said, getting off on their floor.  He rolled Tony's chair into the morgue.  "Mr. Palmer, help me lift him."  Palmer came over to take Tony's feet.  They got him onto the table.  Tony's back popped audibly.  His groan was just as loud.  "How's that?"

"I don't think I can move my feet."

"Squeeze your butt cheeks.  That's what helps mine," Palmer said with a grin.  Tony gave him a dirty look but tried it at Ducky's nod.  It popped again and Tony sighed in pleasure.  He sat up slowly.  "See?"  He walked off.

Tony stood up, wobbling some.  "I think I'll OD on some tylenol for the day.  Pray for no bodies and especially not one we have to crawl for."  Ducky nodded, letting him have his chair back.  Tony rolled it back up to his desk and sat down carefully.  He took six tylenol and put the empty bottle in the trash.  "It popped, boss."

"That's good.  You fit for duty?"

"As long as I don't have to climb, run, or crawl.  Maybe."

"You're staying there then.  Abby called off.  That shoulder strain came back."  Tony nodded.  "She's icing it so she'll be back tomorrow too."

"Should we check on her around lunch?"

"She said no."  McGee came in.  "You're late."

"There was a massive wreck on the road right in front of me, boss.  I was helping pull people out of their cars since they only sent one ambulance to an eight car pile up."  Tony winced.  "Exactly."  He wrote down the address.  "One of the other agents was with me.  His car was at the back and he didn't brake fast enough."

"Who?"

"Heparva."

"Miller!" he bellowed.  That team leader came over.  "Your person was in a car crash in front of McGee.  They were working on it."

"I heard.  He called in just now.  That was a nasty wreck."

"I'm glad they didn't slam into the fuel truck," McGee told him.  "It barely slid past the wreck.  It was going too fast to slow down."  They both shook their heads.  "He was fine when I saw him."

"That's fine, McGee.  These things happen."  He walked off shaking his head.  Gibbs made his people beg when things happened.  Miller finally got there.  "Gibbs told me with McGee.  Fuel truck?"

"In the other lane but going much too fast to slow down.  It sped up to get out of the way."

"That's good.  McGee came in begging because he was late."

"If I had Gibbs, I'd have to beg too," he said quietly.  Miller nodded with a small smirk.  They heard a moan and looked over.

"I'll get Ducky again, boss," Kate said.

"Please do.  He can take DiNozzo to the ER for his back."

"I just need to pop it again, boss.  Maybe some time in a spa."

"Shut up, DiNozzo."

Miller and Heparva shook their heads.  Gibbs was going to be cranky all day.  He always was when he was deprived of DiNozzo.  They saw the paramedics show up and gave them encouraging smiles.  Gibbs would be biting them soon.

***

Sam walked in working his left shoulder.  "I still ache."

"It was hard work," she pointed out, handing him a plate.  "Why do I hang here all day?"

"Because you haven't found anything else you want to do?" he said, looking confused.

She stared.  "You wouldn't care?"

He shrugged with a wince. "If you want to work or go work out or whatever, Faith, do it."  He took a kiss.  "I'm not going to tie you to the house unless you want me to."

She punched him on his other arm.  "I'm not that kinky, no matter what Dean thinks."

He smirked at her.  "You sure?"

"Very."  She went to get her own dinner.  "How was class?"

"Decent enough.  History is boring again but it's fine.  It's a huge class.  I have over four hundred people in it."  She shuddered.  "Most people have to take a history class.  That's the base level world history."  He dug in.  "It's good, thanks."

"Welcome, Sammy."  He shook his head.  She grinned.  She loved to pick on Sam until he pounced.

"Let me eat first.  I missed lunch because we couldn't get around the protest outside the caf."

"For?"

"PETA."

"Why are they bugging the caf?  Not like they serve real meat."

Sam laughed.  "Someone pointed that out.  They huffed and did it anyway."  She shook her head, digging in.  She'd need her strength.  Afterward she worked on his shoulder and he obligingly pounced her until she screamed and went limp underneath him.  It was good for them.

***

Xander smacked into the ground extra hard thanks to the demon in front of him, getting up to tackle it back toward Buffy.  She batted it aside and went back to the vampire she was doing.  "Buff, wanna change?" he called, ducking a blow.  It was small but fierce.

"In a second, Xander."  She dusted the vampire five minutes later and turned around, sighing in displeasure since it was trying to choke Xander.  She threw it and it came rushing back.  It was tougher than she expected.  She was barely denting it.  Xander was coughing and hacking to get his air back.  "No wonder you can't.  You're normal guy."

Xander picked up the broken crossbow, fiddling for a second then shooting it.  It stumbled backward grabbing at the arrow.  A gun boomed and they both ducked.  The demon's head exploded.  "That's why most hunters use guns, kid," John said dryly.

Xander looked at him.  "Not my fault she won't."

"Hey!" Buffy complained, punching him on the shoulder.  He moaned and held it.  "Ooh, sorry, Xander."

He glared at her.  "I was already sore enough from that demon, thanks anyway."  He looked at John.  "Dean's off with a bum ankle tonight."

"So he said when I stopped in."  He looked at the demon.  "What kind is that?"

"No clue," Buffy said.  "Just really hard.  Which is why Xander couldn't beat it."

Xander looked at her then around at the littered bodies.  He pointed.  "How many of those were yours?"  She looked then groaned.  He looked at John.  "Can I get a ride home?  I need to get a drink to soothe my throat."

"Sure, want one, Buffy?"

"I'm good, John.  I'll hit the Bronze to weed down the vamps."  She smiled at Xander.  "Have a safer trek home."

"You be safe at the Bronze."  He waited until she had walked off to point and huff.  John nodded.  He got walked off.  "Why do I let her do that to me?"

"I don't know, kid.  Sounds like low self-esteem to me."  He got him into the truck, checking him over.  "I'll make sure you have an ice pack."

"You can have the guest room."  Xander buckled up and John walked around to get in and drive.  "I feel like shit."

"Should we get it and ask Giles if it had poison?"

"Might be a good idea."

John went to pick it up and put it in the back of the truck.  He took it to the Magic Box.  "Rupert."  He looked up.  "Come look at this thing.  It was pretty tough and we're not sure if it has poison or not.  Xander said he feels miserable after fighting it."

Giles grabbed his classification manual, coming out to look at it.  "It does."  He went inside to get it, coming out to give it to Xander.  Xander choked and barely managed to swallow it.  "Get your throat?"  Xander nodded.  "Go home, get an ice pack.  Where's Buffy?"  Xander made fist pumping motions.  "The Bronze?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Why?"  Xander gave him a look.  "I'll talk to her about it, Xander.  Rest for the night."  He closed the truck door.  "Thank you, John."

"I blew its head off, Rupert. Buffy sneered at the use of guns again.  Sometimes you need something more than the a crossbow."

"You do," he agreed.  "Wesley did try."

"We need to try again."  He took Xander home to Dean, walking him inside.  "He needs an ice pack."

"Have mine," Dean said, handing over his from his sprained ankle.  "What happened?"

"Little bastard demon.  Tougher than it should have been, had some poison," John told him.  "Rupert gave him the antidote."

"Good!  What was it?"

"In the back of the truck."  Dean limped out to look at it then came back to make up a few other ice packs for them.  John settled in to baby them.  They both looked banged up.  "Is there a problem coming?"

Dean shrugged slightly.  "Spring build up but no apocalypse."

"Good."

"We defeated it with the Initiative," Xander hissed.  He coughed then put the ice pack back over his throat.  Dean checked with a wince.  "Three minutes.  Five for her to defeat the vamp she was playing with.  Then she said of course I couldn't fight it, I was normal."

"Really?" Dean asked.  "You don't look normal."  He checked.  "One of the scythes is missing."  Xander pulled it off his back beltline.  "Couldn't reach it?"

"Didn't even cut it," Xander whispered.  He laid down with his head on Dean's thigh.  "I feel rotten."

"I know," he said, petting his head gently.  "Half of this is her snark again."  He looked at his dad.  "How was it otherwise?"

"There were a ton of bodies and three piles of dust."

Dean glared at the window then at his mate.  "Want to go hunting my way for a while?"  Xander nodded.  "Think we can get time off?"

"We can pay the rent while we're gone and we're between jobs for the next month."

"Good.  We'll do that."  He petted him until his mate fell asleep.  John got him some juice too.  "Thanks, Dad."

"Welcome, son."  He sat on the chair, looking at them.  "You two okay otherwise?"  Dean nodded.  "That's good.  I checked on Sammy and Faith.  She's not sure what she wants to do all day.  She tried working and nearly wrapped the guy's head up his butt for trying to order her to do things repeatedly."  Dean smirked.  "I suggested the local Vo-Tech.  She's looking into it."

"That'll be good for her.  Give her a life outside of Sammy and slaying."   He looked down then a his father.  "Any good hunts that need one of us?"

"I could use both of you on the hunt for the one demon," he said patiently.  "Otherwise, a few upstate."  That got a grin.  "Did you hear anything from Angel or another source?"

"I went down to talk to him about it.  He thinks he knows what it is.  He's not really sure.  We'll have to see."  John nodded.  "He's also asking around.  What I don't get is the demon in Miami who said Xander's keeping *me* from what the demon wants us to be doing."

"That has me stumped too."

"He wants a specific Winchester, not you," Xander mumbled.  "But he thinks you're one of the few ways that would toughen that one up and let him survive to the point where he needs them."  He yawned and snuggled in better.  "Look back, those who helped are gone."  He blinked at John.  "Sam and I talked.  I did some checking.  The doctor who delivered him is dead.  So's his first and second grade teachers.  All of them in that one case."  John gaped.  "So's his playmate back in Nebraska when you had to stay there for so long."

"He's after Sammy," Dean realized.

"I figured it had to be something like that with the way your mother died overtop of him," John admitted, shifting some.  "Otherwise he would've put her over our bed or your bed."  Dean nodded at that, looking confused.  "I think he did something to Sammy.  Tainted him somehow."

"Could be why he draws so much trouble since we know Xander does the same thanks to his hellmouth taint."

"Then explain why it happened up there," Xander said dryly.  "We met because I was hunting something and had gotten captured by another war band."

"Good point."  He shrugged.  "So maybe it's something about you two specifically?"  Xander nodded.  "Huh."  He looked at John. "Dad, any idea?"

"Sammy and I were top rated breeders before," Xander said, flipping over to look up at Dean.  "That's why everyone in your old clan was against me and Sam getting together.  That and I've got a little tiny bit of power in me and Sam's got some gifts hidden too.  We were both repeatedly looked over for temple service but passed over because it wasn't right for us."

"I didn't think about that," Dean admitted.  "Your throat feeling better?"

"No."  He grinned.  "But I'm healing."   He leaned up to take a kiss.  "This thing wants Sam for a reason.  I don't know why.  The curse was very specific about how it sent us back to be sacrificed or hunted.  Us younger four were to be sacrificed.  Not hunted."

Dean gaped.  "You're sure?"

"Yeah, I read it over Stella's shoulder.  It's one of the languages some of Giles' books are in.  We were meant to be sacrifices.  That's why Faith's a slayer and I'm here.  Things would still be drawn to me here.  I had a high chance of being vamped before twenty and my new parents were crappy so that raised it."

"Us hunting hasn't kept you boys away from danger.  Plenty of them could have killed you," John added quietly.  Dean swallowed but nodded.  "But why Sammy instead of Dean?"

"Why me instead of Faith?" Xander shot back.  Then he coughed and put the ice pack back on his swollen throat.  "Faith used to get into nearly as much trouble as I did.  She had to look for it more often than I did but she found it."

"We heard Jethro almost started a war over you being taken," Dean said, remembering back.  "There were stories about you.  They compared Sammy to you a lot."

"How many other eggs were hatched around our time and who had the same sort of problems?  Or who got repeatedly looked at by almost every priest we ran across?"

"Good point.  Every single priest used to doubletake when they saw Sam and test him."  He thought back.  "No others in my clan."

"None in our more distant ones," Xander said.  "It's something we need to ask.  If it carried over, the demon that got your mom is probably homing in on that same signal."

"If it's just you two?" John asked.

"Then it probably thinks I'm with Sam.  Because if it doesn't want Dean, then why bother with me?  Or make elaborate plans because I'm keeping him from doing what the demon wants."

"So this whole 'normal guy' phase of Sammy's is a break?" Dean asked.

"Could be or it could be that he's not needed yet.  That one priestess said three years."

"Which would be about when he'd graduate," Dean realized.  Xander nodded.  "We've got to find that thing."

"We need to find out why Sam first," Xander ordered.  "Otherwise we can't plan."

"True."  He looked at his father.  "Can you ask Rupert?"

"I can.  I'll ask Missouri too.  She might have an idea of some sort or another."

"Thanks, Dad.  Did you tell her?"  He waved a hand over Xander's hip.

"She said it's nice you didn't come back with the head fin.  It'd probably get you hunted by guys like Bobby.  I did tell Bobby.  He said it figured with as much trouble as you boys got into."

"Missouri, the priestess Missouri?" Xander asked.

John gaped then called her.  "Missouri, John Winchester.  Did you know about the head fins because you used to have one?" he asked bluntly.  "Xander asked if you were the same one."  She said something then hung up.  "She said that's like asking a woman her age - it's rude."

Xander snorted. "Yeah, right.  If so, she might know.  Or Ducky might.  He was the highest priest in the order when the curse hit."

"I'll call him tomorrow.  Go to bed, boys.  You both look too pitiful to work tomorrow."  They snorted but went to bed.  They'd make plans to run off for a hunt later.  John called her back.  "So, were you?" he asked dryly.  "They're in the other room.  Trying to figure out what makes Xander and Sammy so special and if that's the reason that demon wants Sammy.  And why the demon wanted Xander to leave Dean so Dean could go back to hunting like he wanted."  He listened to her say something.  "Sunnydale.  We can do that.  They've got a month off and both boys need a break thanks to the girls out here.  Sure, you, me, them.  Bobby too," he said with a grin.  "Why?"  He nodded at her 'he'd see something'.  "Okay, if you want.  Give us a few days."  He hung up.  "Missouri wanted to confab."

"That's fine," Dean called back.  "We can pack up tomorrow for a bit."  He settled in next to Xander, letting him snuggle in if he wanted.  He was getting used to being cuddled.  He didn't like to cuddle but he could let Xander cuddle him without having to cuddle back.  Xander was soon asleep against his armpit, snoring grandly.  That throat was really going to bother him for days.  Maybe Missouri would be able to tell him how to teach Xander to blow him too.

***

Dean stopped the car and got out, looking over as Xander got out too.  John's truck was already parked and he was over with the 'adults'.  They shut the doors and walked over.  "I still say Weird Al does not belong in my car."

"Sometimes you need less than head banging music, Dean.  It helps me think and relax.  Not like I could nap with that really loud Metallica you were playing."

"I like Metallica."

"So do I but we thumped a gangbanger off the street a few hours back."  The adults all looked at them.  He grinned.  "Hi, Xander Harris."

Bobby looked at him.  "What happened to you?"

"Some little puss sucking demon who decided to choke me while Buffy was playing with a vamp."

"Huh?"

"He hunts with a slayer," Dean said.  He sat on the top of the picnic table after checking for food.  He was hungry.  Xander handed over a wrapped thing.  "Granola?"

"Fudge dipped, chocolate chip granola.  It's good.   Try it.  I eat a ton of them at work."

"Eww, dude, that's almost healthy."

"Not with as much salt and sugar as that thing has," Bobby said.  "Eat it and shut up, Dean."  Dean grumbled but ate it.  "It's like a chewy candy bar with substance."

"Exactly.  Even Buffy can't complain when I eat those instead of hershey bars."  He looked at Missouri.  Then he grinned and bowed.  "How many times did you test me?"

"Many.  Smartass."

"Still."  He smirked.  "His."

She gaped.  "What?"

"In their last life, before they were sent to us as part of a rebirth curse, Dean was Xander's mate," John said.

"And a breeder too," Xander said with a grin.  "He was even with egg."

Bobby choked, shaking his head.  "That's too strange."

"No, strange was watching Sammy hum at his future egg," Dean said between bites.  "I guess they're not so bad.  Bit too chewy."

"There's harder ones," Xander assured him.  "They're usually the healthier ones."  He looked at Missouri again.  "What did you repeatedly see in me and Sam?  We think that's what that one demon wants him for in about three years according to a priestess of Grista."

She blinked.  "That's blunt."

"I've been reraised by girls.  One Jewish one who became a lesbian wicca recently."  Bobby shuddered.  "I will protect her girlfriend."

"Even if she wasn't one of Fornell's kind?" Dean asked.

"You haven't met Tara?"

"I have.  She's sweet and shy."

"Which is why we'll need to help her some day when something goes after her to get Willow."  The others looked confused.  "If she can close the hellmouth and stick a soul back in Angel from a hospital bed, something's going to want her.  The same as demons aren't supposed to know who Buffy really is.  It can cause problems when they rush her home."

"I didn't think about that."

"Hold on, Willow stuck Angel's soul?" John asked.

"Yeah, after he and Buffy boffed, he lost it and went evil, sick bastard again.  Tried to end the world.  Willow stuck it right before Buffy had to send him to hell because he opened Alcaltha.  I didn't tell Buffy, which she got majorly pissed at.  I gave her the go ahead and told her Willow wasn't going to try because I knew she couldn't beat him while trying to hold him off.  Too big of a threat and he'd already killed one and nearly her watcher.  I was being expedient back in those days."

"She stuck a soul in a vampire?" Missouri asked.

"The gypsies did it first.  She just restuck it when it came loose."

She groaned.  "That girl's going to have problems."

"Well, yeah," Xander agreed.  "Which is why I'll protect her girlfriend Tara.  Who is a very light side witch."

"She's a pure follower of the Goddess," Dean agreed.  "Could use someone to kick her parents' ass though."

Xander smirked.  "Let them show up.  If Buffy hates mine, what's she going to do to them?"

"Sounds like we'll need popcorn," Dean quipped.  Xander beamed at that.  "You can get your own in."

"Why?  My dad tried something the other day to get money and I punched him then."  He looked at Missouri again.  "Any idea what it was?"

"In each priest are gifts.  If they can be awakened then be used to serve Her will, they're brought to the temple."

"Then why pass over Sammy and Xander so many times?" Dean asked.

"Because the priests are forbidden to enter politics, hold a public office, or fight except in matters of self defense," Xander said.  Missouri nodded.  "Which means ours were strong but not the right sort?"

"Sam's could be more useful in a battle and weren't awake the last time I saw him."

"Could that be what the demon did?" Bobby asked.  "Woke 'em up?"

"Could be.  Or at least brought them closer to be being able to be woken up."  She ran a hand over Xander's head.  "I do not know why we tested you so many times."  Xander took off a necklace and then put on something in his pocket.  "That unclouds you."

"I was reborn on the Cali hellmouth," he said.   "That's muting that signature."

She smiled, doing it again.  She closed her eyes, then nodded.  "You're a medium."

"Yes I am.  I'm also using it to plan our battles."

She nodded, stroking over his head again.  "Ah.  That strength of yours shines as a gift."  She looked at him.  "A natural leader, young one.  One who would make the priests stay solid for generations."

"That's not why every priest in existence tested me at least three times," Xander told her, staring into her eyes.

"No, that's the gift that you have as a breeder and in a few other things that are now locked because this body cannot handle it."

"Is that why magic goes screwy around him according to Willow?" Dean asked.

"Yes," she said.  She smirked at the boy.  "Now what?"

"Now, we figure out what I have to do to keep my twin sister and Sam safe.  Faith may be a guardian and a pretty good fighter but Sam needs his own life."  She nodded, backing up.  "Giles said he found this," he said, handing it to John from his back pocket.  "Willow sent it."

He read it, frowning at the information.  "Other children with other fires."  He handed it to Bobby.  "Same MO as ours was."

Dean looked at it then at Xander.  "When did he find that?"

"John asked him and Willow to look into it.  Angel's found a little bit.  They're prepping for a major move right now.  They're planning positions.  It's looking like one of *the* battles is coming in about three years.  We simply have a hell goddess that might pop up next year."

"Oh, is that all?" Dean asked dryly.  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Xander, joking right?" he asked.   Xander beamed and shook his head.  "Dude, please?"

"Nope.  Sorry."  He beamed.  He took a kiss.  "Glorificus is slated to come back next year."  He looked at Bobby.

"Don't you dare kiss me too," he said dryly.

"I don't think I ever went toward elves."  Bobby gaped, then slowly glared.  He grinned.  "We know Fornell.  Jethro's now a Fed.  Works with him now and then."

"I see."

"Tony's his senior agent and Abby's a lab geek with them at NCIS."

"Gibbs is that Jethro?" he demanded.

"Yeah."  He beamed at him.  "Makes so much sense, doesn't it?"

"Where's the others?"

"New York and Miami."

"Caine," he sneered.

"Yup.  Uncle H of the red hair."  He smirked.  "And our former housekeeper/mother hen and her son."

"Who I still don't want you cuddling," Dean mumbled.

Xander looked at him.  "Fine, jealous!"

"I told you, every single Winchester in existence is jealous, Xander.  Dad punched a few guys who hit on mom in the store."

John nodded.  "Felt really good too."

Xander looked up, shaking his head.  Then at him.  "What's going to happen the next time I have bad girl magnet powers?"

"They'll be demons or we'll let someone arrest 'em.  Hopefully before they kill themselves this time."  All three adults gave him an odd look.  "One hit on Xander on the beach.  Took him to what he thought was her house.  Turns out she had broken into it, taken him there to have sex with him.  Put him in some wrist restraints hitched to the ceiling to strip for him and make him beg.  She got a call and killed herself without releasing him.  Horatio was not amused."

"Neither was I," Xander said.  "She was cute and good though."

"You two still together?" Bobby asked.

"We were going after our last pussy of our lives," Dean said.  "He hired me a hooker.  I let him pick up bad girls."

Missouri scowled.  "Do not say such things in front of me, Dean Winchester."

"Yes, Missouri."  He pulled Xander back against him.  "If we weed the hellmouth taint out of Xander, would those gifts shine stronger?"

"Probably."

"That's probably why he didn't get you then."  He leaned his chin on Xander's shoulder.  "We've got to tell Sammy so he's warned."

"I'm more worried if he's found a way to resurrect our former eggs," Xander said quietly.  "Because that would give him the minion he wanted and she did warn us about that."

"I've been checking with Ducky.  He said if one of you died there's a very good chance you'd end up back in your old body," John said.  Both boys looked at him.  "He's not certain but he said it's highly likely."

"That's a good thing since we're all in such dangerous fields," Bobby said.  Xander nodded.  "Then you'd have a shorter life span."

"I've already surpassed all estimates, Bobby.  Demon hunting doesn't come with a high life expectancy.  Especially not when you're doing it nightly.  That cuts down on what Dean would expect."

"Huh?" Dean asked.

"If you handle one or two demons a month it's less likely you'll die from that than if you handle one every night.  Especially when you add in burnout rates and things."

"I guess that makes some sense," Dean said.  "That's like math though.  Not either of us's native language."

"I know.  Freaked me out when I thought of it," Xander said, grinning back at him.  Dean forehead butted the back of his mate's head.  "Thanks."  He looked at them.  They looked confused.  "If Dean and you guys handled as many vamps and other demons as we hunt every year you'd guys would die after about the same amount probably."

"Usually you guys stake a good four or five a night," John said.  "Or Buffy says she does."

"I usually got one or two a night," Xander agreed.  "Then you get to count in the bad nights like Halloween.  Because even if vampires take it off, the chaos sorcerers and others like them don't.  And the spring build up and usually an apocalypse.  That means more time in hunting and more kills per night on those nights.  And for some reason we've had the last three winter solstices be really active.  Willow pouted that this last one she couldn't go to the campus group's circle."

Dean gave him a squeeze.  "We get it, Xander."  He looked at Bobby.  "They're all insane out there.   The slayer doesn't like guns.  Won't let him use them on patrol at all.  Doesn't like anything more powerful than a crossbow.  They usually stake vampires."

"That's one type, there's others."

"Faith and I ran into some on our trip to wake up memories.  I got a computer," Xander said with a grin.  "If I had shot him, it would've went poof with him, Dean."

"Fine.  Whatever.  Still insane and she doesn't like it when I bring one either."

"She does have a point that it can be used on you fatally if you lose it," Xander said, looking back at him.  "It's easier to fix a hole from a stake than a bullet."  Dean nodded at that.  "Especially in our crappy local hospital.  It's not like they're good," he said at Missouri's snort.  "It took me a month to heal after they botched my appendix surgery.  I was in there for a week."  She gaped.  He nodded.  "It's for parts.  Anything bigger than stitches and you'd better hope the ambulance drivers feel like an easy night so they take you outside town.  That's why Joyce went to LA when they found the brain tumor."

"Huh," Dean said.  "No wonder you guys stitch each other up."

"Yup, and I did one of Joyce's when it snapped too.  Buffy panicked and called."

"That's not a bad thing to do," John agreed.  He looked at the others.  "So how do we handle this, and how do we track this thing down before the three year time limit?"

"And what's at the end of the three year time limit?" Xander asked.  "In case it's another ascension battle or something."

"Better not be," Dean complained.  "I think the last one was bad enough."

"Yeah," Xander agreed, looking down then back at him.  "I'm glad you made it for that, Dean."

Dean grinned.  "Where else would I have been but beside my bitch?"

"Thanks."

"Welcome."  He gave him another squeeze.  "Any ideas on what's going to happen?"

"Not yet," Bobby said.  "I haven't heard anything."

"We stopped in to check on the Epps family," Xander admitted.  "He groaned but said thanks for the pre-warning.  Angel said he hasn't heard and it's not anywhere in the lower classes he would normally associate with.  This is the higher demons, like you guys hunt.  The ones who possess not the ones who look funny."

"It'd have to be something massive if he's picked other heirs," Missouri said.

"Heirs?" Xander asked.  "Why say heirs instead of proteges or helpers?"

She stared then blinked.  "I don't know."

He looked at her.  "If you had to pick an area to guard about then, where would it be, priestess?"

"Around Bobby's."  She made herself not think.  "Something like an artifact but not moveable."

"That gives us an area to look around," Bobby said.  "I can put word out."  John nodded.  "Not a bad question, kid."

"Is Glory involved?" Xander asked.

She shook her head.  "If she succeeds, it won't matter what happens in three years.  She wants to go home.  Even the demons are taking bets on who wins that one and thinking about jumping in on the light's side."

"We know.  We also know where the key is."  She blinked.  He smirked.  "Anyway."  He looked back at Dean.  "You know, if we were in our normal lives, one of us would've ended up having the key as our kid."

"That is the sort of trouble you two bring," Dean agreed.  He pinched him.  "No kids, Xander."

"Sure."  He grinned at Missouri.  "As a former priestess, why did everyone want to stop me and Sammy from getting together?"

"Your kids would've been horrible.  Either a harbinger of doom and another realm war or the most prefect priest ever.  We couldn't take that chance.  How did you two meet anyway?"

"I was hunting down a war band from a clan that had tried to take over a smaller village in the realm and shake it down for treasure.  I had nearly gotten there when another clan's war party about to do the same thing showed up and got me.  They were going to hand me to the other one to negotiate.  They were forming an alliance when Dean's guard troop found the meeting and broke it up.  I said thank you, told them what had happened; they helped me get stuff back to that village.

"By then, Faith had heard I was captured so she and her band were coming to rescue me with Horatio.  Horatio thanked him and said to come back to the palace.  That sort of action got rewarded with an alliance of some sort.  Faith fell in lust with Dean.  I was liking Sammy but Stella had a hissy on me about it.  So I backed off and Sam blushed at her a lot.  We got back there; Mac and Jethro agreed with their father that an alliance marriage would be good for both parts.

"Since Faith and Dean were getting gushy it was thought about but we had the right to choose.  Dean and I shared a love of weapons.  We were in the armory getting away from the wailing aunts and mothers who were going into froo-froo decoration overdrive.  Faith and Sam were doing katas.  Someone pointed out that the heat she felt wasn't as good as the calmness he could inspire in her.

"They came in just after Dean kissed me for letting him play with a major toy we had in there.  So they locked us in our rooms as was standard.  Two weeks later we came out and Sam was gushy and gooey over Faith.  She decided he was okay in bed and she could teach him the rest.  He proved it by pouncing her to prove he was better than she thought in front of others.  Dean and I shrugged and agreed.  We grew closer over the two years of marriage we had.  We were both pretty hot tempered and blooded.  Instead of yelling we turned it into sex."

"Sam was the king of pouncing her," Dean agreed.  "Even in the overlord's suite one night."

"He wanted her to spawn," Xander said dryly.  "Seems fitting he gave up his bed for a night."  Dean pinched him. "Hey!  No boyfriend abuse."

"Shut up, Xander.  I'm not abusing you.  I'm correcting your funny thought processes."

John shook his head with a light moan.  "Not this again.  Boys!"

"Yeah?" they asked with a grin.

"Stop it."

Bobby laughed.  "It's good to see Dean giddy in love, John."

"I am not," Dean defended.  "I don't do giddy or mushy."

"Especially not in bed," Xander said, patting him on the knee.  Dean bit him this time, making him yelp.  "Hey!  You weren't possessed by a primal spirit!  Only I get to bite."

"She only licked," he said dryly.  He smirked evilly.  "I've got to take you somewhere to teach you how to please me better, Xander."

"Only if you take the same lessons, Dean.  I'm not the only bottom in this 'ship."

Dean blushed, coughing some.  "Maybe."

"No maybe about it.  I'm not going on my back until there's some reciprocation."

"You can be on top.  I'm told riding it is more fun."

"Uh-huh.  Whoever told you this is whacked in the head.  We're equal or as soon as we've got head fins again you're getting knocked up."

"Hey!" Dean complained.  "No fair!"

"Boys!" Missouri shouted, blushing bright red.  "Please?"

"What?" they complained in unison.

Xander looked at Dean again.  "You want blown that badly, buy a pump."

Dean glared at him.  "I don't need toys.  That's why I have you."

"Really?  Think I'm a toy?" he said, giving him an evil look.

"No," Dean said.  He realized he was treading on thin ice.  "I meant to replace all the stuff you could and should be doing."

Xander popped him on the side of the head.  Then he stomped off.  "You're not getting any again for a very long time, Dean."

"That's not fair!" he called.  "Why punish both of us?"

"Because my hand likes me more than you do and it respects me."

Dean slumped, shaking his head.  "I'm not taking very well to gay life."

"He's not a sex toy, son.  He's your husband.  Your other half.  You should be willing to give and receive pleasure from him like your mother did with me."  Dean blushed, then shuddered all over, stomping off in a different direction.  "Don't you dare take off either."  Dean headed away from the car.  He went to disable the car for a little bit.  Bobby laughed.  "Dean will learn to apologize," he said as he brought back the distributor cap.  "Eventually.  I did.  He can too."

"Even if his boy is more stubborn than Mary?" Bobby taunted.

"You have *no* idea.  The boy's more stubborn than I am."  Bobby cackled, slapping him on the back.

"He draws worse trouble too," Missouri said with a point.  "Like bear cubs."  John and Bobby took off running that way.  "Dean, your boy's about to be eaten," she called.

"I hope the girl's sick with something," he called back.

"By a bear, boy."  Dean took off running too.  She shook her head, sitting down at the picnic table to recuperate from being in contact with Xander's mind.  He did have some strong suction in there.

"A bear cub is not a pet," John yelled.  "Put it down!   Before the parent eats you!"

Missouri moaned, holding her poor, aching head.  That boy was going to drive all the Winchesters nuts.  She could see why Sam had chosen Faith.  She was more sane the last life.  At least a little bit.  Xander stomped back escorted by Bobby.  "He all right?"

"The little sucker scratched him a few times but it was caught in some plastic and barbed wire.  He was removing it to toss out.  Then it decided it loved him for it.  Was gonna adopt him.  Take him home to Mama bear for dinner."  He put the boy down at the table.  "We all know Dean's your toy, not the other way around."

"I don't need toys," he said with a pout.  "Except my leggos.  I need to get more leggos."

"I'm sure you do," Bobby agreed.  For some reason he wanted to smack the kid's parents around.  "Make Dean buy you leggos."

"He said he wouldn't."  He pouted at John.  "Tell him me buying comic books and leggos is perfectly normal."

"Can't do that.  I didn't let the boys have them."  He sat Dean down beside his mate.  "Apologize, Dean."

"I'm sorry I said you were my toy.  You're not a toy.  I'm there for more than the sex, Xander."

Xander stared at him.  "How forced was that?"

"I know you're not.  I do wish you'd learn how to do it a bit better."

"Who said I didn't?  I'm still not just your bitch."

"I know.  We'll work on that."

"Thank you."  He leaned on him.  Dean gave him an odd look.  "Yes, I'm cuddly.  You do have to put up with it."

"You weren't before."

"Maybe that's because Mac was a better parent than Willow was," John said bluntly.

"It could be that I just want cuddled," Xander said.  Dean let him snuggle into his side, patting im on the back.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, Xander."  He resisted the urge to kiss him on the top of the head.  His father rolled his eyes.  "I'm sure Missouri's tired of us making out in front of her, Dad."

"It's good to see young love," she said with a grin of her own.  "It helps heal the world."

Dean kissed Xander on the top of the head, getting a look up.  "I was trying hard not to be mushy."

"I don't mind some mushiness."

"I do.  It makes me feel like Sammy, all girly and shit."

"He's one of the most masculine guys we know and he cuddles, Dean," John said.  "I doubt you'd make it too much longer without learning how to be mushy in private and around the family."

"He's fine the way he is as long as he doesn't try to block me from snuggling in," Xander said.  "He wouldn't be Dean if he suddenly got mushy."

"Doesn't go with the muscles at all," Dean teased.  He felt so...guilty all of a sudden and he didn't know  why.  He pulled Xander closer and it felt better.  "What did you learn to do?" he asked in his ear.  Xander just looked up at him with a half-smile.  "Xander?"

"Maybe you'll see some day."

"I'd better."

"We'll see."  He went back to snuggling in.  He was starting to drift off for a nap, he was tired after all day in the car, when he felt a nudge to his hand.  He woke up more.

"Just me, kid," Bobby said.  "Sleep."  He walked around them to get himself a drink from the ice chest John had brought with him.  He turned back around and found a suspicious lump in Xander's lap under his shirt.  "Did you somehow make him pregnant that fast, Dean?"  Dean snorted and finished waking up, looking down where Bobby pointed.

"What the hell?"  He poked it and it growled.  Xander growled back.  It shifted and settled in again.  Dean moved the collar of Xander's t-shirt.  Xander blinked up at him.  "Don't move.  A growly something is cuddling you too."

"You are very growly at times."  He shifted but the fur on his stomach stopped him.  He looked down his shirt.  "Am I better than the mommy bear?  I have less fur."  It huffed and snuffled him then cuddled in better.

"Let me call a ranger," John said.  He found his phone in the truck and called.  "Hi, I'm in Wilderness Walking Park and there's a small bear cub cuddling up to someone.  Not attacking, cuddling, sir.  Earlier the comfortable stomach had removed some plastic and barbed wire wrapped around its foot.  I didn't get there in time.  Xander, was it cuddly before then?"

"Came over to where I was sitting to snuggle into my lap," Xander called.  "Should I pet it?  It's head butting me."

"Gently," Bobby said.  "They can break that behavior too since it's already too friendly."  Xander nodded, pulling his arm inside his shirt to pet the head gently.  The cub huffed but liked it because he licked his fingers and went back to sleep.

John hung up and joined them.  "He'll be here within fifteen minutes."  That got a nod from everyone.  "It's adorable."

"If we could get his shirt off and take pictures even Buffy would coo," Dean said.  Xander spit at him.  "She would.  Faith too probably."  He went to get his camera and came back to take a picture of the cub and 'mommy'.  It was so adorable and the sort of trouble Xander could get into on his own.  The ranger pulled up and hopped out.  "Easy.  It's trying to nap."  He got out of the way, which got him growled at.  "Okay, I'll sit here and block the sun for you."

The ranger came around his other side, looking down.  "It climbed into your lap?"

"Originally.  That's when I saw the barbed wire and plastic around his back paw.  I didn't touch the monitoring bracelet."  That got a nod.  "I checked the injuries, they were pretty recent.  It came in and snuggled.  My friends showed up and put it off to the side of the clearing since I don't know what to do with anything bigger than a dog.  We came back here.  It apparently snuck up while I was napping on Dean's shoulder."

"I don't remember seeing it sneak," John said.  "I've hunted animals for years."  The cub growled when Xander's hand quit petting.  "That's a whole other problem."

"Someone stupid may've had it as a pet," the ranger said.  He picked it up, letting it sniff him while he petted it.  "How about my fingers?  I do it pretty well, huh?  You're a bit smaller than average but you'll do."

Xander pulled it down to nuzzle.  "Go with the nice ranger.  He'll find you a good home."  He dug out a sandwich to hand over.  The cub growled, attacking it like it was starved.  John handed over another two.  "There you go.  Happy meals to go."  He smiled and scratched an ear.  "Have a good trip, little bear."

The ranger smiled.  "We'll find him a good home to recalibrate him to the woods, sir."  He walked him back to the truck.   The cub didn't like the back.  "I know it smells like a dead deer.  I had to pick up one earlier."  He slid it into the front seat, putting the food down next to it.  Then he climbed in to drive him back to the local humane society.  Their vets could treat any injuries.  This report was going to amuse his boss a lot.  They needed to find the parent before she became enraged and if there had been a human keeper they needed to arrest them.  He walked the little one inside.

"Get me some food, Millie.  Little one's starved.  Had three ham sandwiches on the way here."  She got him some wet dog food and the cub decided it was food too after a few sniffs.  "Crawled into some guy's lap.  He noticed one of the back feet had barbed wire and plastic.  He removed it.  Some friends put the cub on the edge of the clearing so it wouldn't follow them back to their picnic spot.  It tracked him down to cuddle under his shirt for head rubs."  He heard a growl so he petted the ears gently.  The cub liked that, tipping his head.  "Got an itchy spot?"  He scratched it.

The vet shook her head.  "He's real friendly."

"He was nuzzling the guy under his shirt.  They took pictures and gave him sandwiches for the trip."

"That's fine.  It won't hurt him.  Plenty of bears have survived on garbage."  She got her stethoscope to start the exam.  "Not too bad.  We'll have to check for parasites while you call the local rehab center."  That got a nod.  She got on with the exam and let the cub finish eating.  Clearly starved.  They put more food in with him and it was good.  The ranger went to make his call while she noted what had happened.  Someone had hand-raised that bear.  Someone was in deep trouble with the law.

***

Tony looked at the new message that pinged his computer.  "Hey, boss, email from Dean with an attachment."  He looked at it, then smiled, putting it up on the main screen.  Gibbs looked and had to smile.  It was so cute!  "He said the cub picked Xander to own it.  Followed him back to cuddle under his shirt.  The rangers had to come pick it up.  Little thing wanted to nap and be petted."

"That's too cute," he agreed.  Tony removed the picture when he saw the director.

"Why would a bear pick a human?" Ziva asked.  "That's not normal."

"It's likely it was abandoned or lost.  It figured Xander was a good surrogate and a good source of food," Gibbs told her.

Tony went back to the email.  "It says that the cub originally found Xander in a clearing after they'd had another fight about the 'not gay' thing."  Gibbs groaned, shaking his head.  "The cub crawled in his lap there.  Xander found barbed wire and plastic around its leg so he removed it.  The hunters they were meeting with took it to put off to the side so they could take Xander safely away before a mama bear got there.  It followed them back and snuck into Xander's lap while he took a nap against Dean's shoulder.  Snuck under his shirt without waking Xander."

Gibbs shook his head.  "Only Xander."

"Poor cub.  Are they going to have to put it down?" Kate asked.  "It sounds too friendly to live in the wild."

"They have rehabilitation centers for wildlife," McGee told her.  "They can get it used to living alone without people.  If not, it might end up in a zoo or something like that.  Depends on the funds and the bear I guess."

The director walked over.  "What was that picture of?"  Tony put it back up.  Even she had to smile at that.  "It's cute."

"It decided Xander was his mommy and food giver," Tony said with a grin.  "It looks pretty young."

"This time of year it'd be about three to four months old," Gibbs agreed.  "Send that to the others?"

"Sure, boss."  He forwarded that on.  "Horatio's email is bouncing."  He texted his phone, getting that ID so he could send it to his CSI's blackberry.   He made sure it went to Sam's email account too.  He got back an 'aww' from Sam.  "Sam sent back a coo."

Gibbs shook his head.  "The kids are insane," he muttered.  "Get back to work, DiNozzo."

"I sent it to you, boss."  Gibbs got into his email to proofread his report.  He printed it, adding it to the folder.  "Thanks, boss."  He grinned.

"Don't let it go to your head, DiNozzo."

"I won't."  He got back to his surfing for more interesting things.  The director looked at him.  "My backlog's done, ma'am.  Until our next case I'm doing personal research."

"More naked women sites?" she asked.

"No.  Not this week."  He went back to it.  Dean had sent what they thought was happening to him to look up.  He had shared with Fornell, who had his researchers looking too.  There had to be something on what was going on in three years.  They needed to stop it now, before things got out of hand.  The director came to look over his shoulder.  "It's in Latin, Director."

"I can see that.  Why?"

"It's a research site.  I'm looking up something for someone."

"Anything on that?" Gibbs asked.

"Not yet, boss."  He went back further, finding something.   "Or maybe not."  He sent it to his boss, who looked then nodded.  "That's in the right area.  It's about the right time."

"Send it to Dean and Xander."  He did that.  Dean sent back that his number translating sucked, that was the ascension.

"No, that was the ascension."  Gibbs shuddered.  "At least they had some warning, boss."  He went back to it.  He did find one and sent it to Dean.

***

Dean looked down at his phone when it popped up a new message, hitting that sight on the computer in front of him.  "Bingo."

"Not an old lady," Xander mumbled.

"Are you coming down sick?  You've been napping for the last week."

"It's the last of the poison being fought," John said as he came over to look.  He read it then nodded slowly.  "That's it."  He called Bobby.  "I'm sending you something.  Okay, we're still at the motel.  Come see us then."  He hung up.  "He'll be right over.  That doesn't look good."

"No," Dean agreed.  "It doesn't."  He got up to let Bobby in.  "Mile square devil's gate?"

"There is?"

"Yeah.  Built by Samuel Colt."  He came over to read it.  "Looks like it's got a time code."

Bobby paged down, nodding.  "That's it then."  He looked at Dean.  "Good work."

"Tell Tony, he found it."

"I can do that," John said.  They took it to read over, not liking this in the least.  "If he needs a minion to open it...  It has to be someone tainted.  What's the key they need?"

"Not Glory's key," Xander said with a yawn.

"No, not Glory's key," Dean said.  "Another gateway's key.  It's a physical lock and key."

"Go look at the opening.  See if you can destroy it."  He sat up, yawning again.  "I don't feel so good."

"That's the last of the poison weeding itself out, Xander.  Call Giles to get what was in the antidote."  He nodded, going to the bathroom to get that from him.  Willow sent it with a box of brownies and a soda.  He smiled.  "You're so spoiled."

"Slightly."  He took the antidote and drank the soda, nibbling on a brownie but he was nice enough to share with his sweets deprived boyfriend.   He wasn't sure which one of them had the worst sweet tooth but Dean was going to snatch the brownies from him if he didn't offer him a bite.  He held one up, getting a look back.  He nibbled on the other side then licked his thumb before holding it up again.  Dean leaned down to take a bite, getting a grin back.  "She's guilt baking again.  I have no idea why."

"She probably realized she was being a pain in the ass."  He got another bite then smirked and took a kiss.  "Feeling better?"

"Less pukey, more sleepy."

"Take a nap if you need it," Bobby said.  "Just so I don't have to see the mush," he muttered.  John laughed.  "Dean, you still having problems with the gay thing?"

"Only that I don't get blown, stroked, or ridden.  I can do without being called baby, honey, or oh you stud, but it'd be nice if maybe I could get the first three."

"Baby, you do me and I'll try you," Xander shot back, earning an evil look from John.  "What?"

"You two are horrible."

"Well, yeah," Dean agreed with a smirk.  "Thank you."  His phone rang.  "Yeah, it's me."  He listened.  "Willow, why are you babbling at me about guns?"  He looked at Xander.  "Buffy went on a rampage in our apartment?"

"I locked that armory door and I had Tara reinforce it magically then added a spell I bought from a chaos guy in LA."  He licked his fingers clean.  "She manage to get in?"

Dean listened.  "No.  So she trashed the bedroom."

"I'm so spanking," Xander said dryly.  He took the phone.  "Can I come back for a minute?"  He grinned.  "Please?  I was wondering why I got the good guilt brownies.  No, you get her out of my place and keep her out of my place.  I don't care if she is going on a Buffy fit.  She can do it at Willie's.  Because most of those are Dean's and I will let Dean and John paddle her like her mother should have.  Am I clear?"  He grinned.  "Good."  He hung up then looked around and put one of the portals up over the bathroom door.  He walked through and out the other side, picking up Buffy and carrying her out.  He dropped her the last three steps and stared down at her.  "Out, now," he growled.  "Our stuff is not your stuff."

Dean came out, crossing his arms over his chest, staring down at her.  "You do know that we can beat you to death for trying to touch our guns?"  She hopped up but he pushed her back down.

"That is not the slayer way!"

"Well, it's the Winchester way and we survive a whole lot longer than Slayers."  He stared down at her.  "Beyond that, it's damn handy when you're being attacked."  He hauled her up and back through the portal, taking it down for a minute so Xander didn't have to see them correcting her like Joyce should have.  Ten minutes later they led her back wailing and crying.  Dean smiled at Xander, taking a kiss.  "Let me take her back to Joyce.  Go check on that.  Thank you for telling us she was having an issue, Willow.  And for the brownies, they're very good."

"I made them for Xander."

"I stole a few bites," he said with a grin.  She blushed and hurried off.  Dean walked Buffy to the gallery her mother owned, handing her over.  "She tried to break into our apartment's special room so she could go to the pawn shop."

"Why is she crying?"

"Dad got her like she needed this time."

Joyce gaped.  "He did what?"

"Beat her ass.  She broke into our apartment, tried to break into the gun cabinet so she could sell them, and then tried to defend it."  Joyce glared at her daughter.  "Frankly, with her 'you're a normal guy' thing she had the night before we left for a meeting?"  Joyce glared harder at her daughter, who shrank back.  "We like Buffy.  We respect Buffy.  She's not allowed in our place again without supervision."

Xander strolled in.  "Where's my hunting knife?"  Buffy slowly backed up.  "Buffy?  Where is my blessed silver hunting knife?  The one I take on patrols."

"You don't need it!"

"Bull.  Because I *so* think you can take on a hell goddess on your own."  Buffy stepped back another step.  "Where is it?"

"The shop on twelfth," she said timidly.

"Buffy Ann Summers!" her mother shouted.  "How could you!"

"He shouldn't be doing that!  It's going to lead to conflict some day."

"Like you had when you were dating Angel?" Xander suggested, crossing his arms over his chest.  He didn't realize it but he was mimicking Dean's pose nearly exactly.  "Tell me, Buffy.  What happens if Willow's turned?"

She went pale.  "I can't," she whispered.

"Um huh.  Or Giles I'm expecting?"  She shook her head.  "Then thank god some of us can.  Now, get your head out of your ass, Buffy.  I'm the same guy I was at graduation and I was more than competent enough then, guns and all."  She fled into her mother's office.

"I'll make sure she gets your knife back for you, Xander, and anything else she stole," Joyce said.

He kissed her on the cheek.  "Thank you.  How are you feeling?"

"I'm all right."  She stroked their cheeks.  "Go back to your meeting."

"We're talking with the other hunters about why demons like Xander and Sammy so much."  She smiled at that.  "Be safe, Joyce.  Dad left you some ass to beat too."  He walked out with Xander, going back to the motel in Kansas.  Xander took down the portal and put it away.  "Her mother has her and she'll be getting back all our stuff very shortly."

"Good," John agreed.  "She gonna beat her?"

"Probably," Xander agreed.  He laid down again, turning on the tv but down when he got glared at.  He fell asleep there, letting them figure things out while he felt miserable.

"What was it that got him?" Bobby asked.  Dean found a picture on his phone of it, handing it over.  "That's an ugly sucker."

"That's after it pinned Xander to the ground to choke him, nearly killed Buffy too.  Dad got it."

"Thank God for that."  He handed the phone back.  "Now what do we do?  If this is what's going on, then we've got to stop it."

"Blow up the gateway?" Dean suggested.  "So it can't open?"

"Could open it up instead," John said.

"If it has a key," Dean started.  Xander let out a belch then moaned and headed for the bathroom.  "You okay?"

"Peachy keen."  He slammed the bathroom door.

"Nasty poison," Bobby said.

"Yes it is," John agreed.  "That's his third dose of anti-toxin."

"If they were breeders, maybe he's pregnant," Bobby teased.

Dean looked at him.  "Don't even joke about that."  He went to check on Xander but the door was locked.  "Want some water?"

"No.  I'm good."

"Okay."  They went back to planning.  They had to look at that gateway first then plan.

***

Horatio looked up as someone walked into his office.  "What can I do for you, Rick?"

"You can tell me why that young guy was listed as having had some weapons destroyed that were in his property."

"He found some in his town.  A mutual friend made him turn it over."  He went back to work.  While he was gone his boss had apparently thought up ten extra forms for him to do every week.  "We knew he wasn't going to use it but you never know what may happen."

"He *found* it?  Just laying around?"

Horatio looked up.  "His town is fairly dangerous."

"I noticed that when I looked it up."

"He's on the hometown protection patrol."

"They didn't mind that he found them?"

"They're mostly other teenagers.  They're not well organized.  The boy found them and confiscated them from the person who used to have them."

"Their police didn't handle it?"

"I'm not sure they have a police department.  No, they do.  Buffy was saying the detective who tried to get her for capital murder for killing the robot attacking her mother and her was just promoted."

"Excuse me?"

"Apparently it was rather lifelike," he said dryly.  "It had hit her and was going for her mother so she pushed it down the stairs.  The department out there thought it was a person until it came back from the dead and she had to take it further apart."

"How?"

"I do not know."

"Uh-huh."

"I do know that they do not come out at night.  I do know that they don't pay a lot of attention.  I also know it has the highest per capita incidences of deaths while barbequing, animal attacks, and apparently the whole town is swimming in PCP.  I saw a breakdown of their statistics."  He got into his computer, finding them.  He turned the screen around.  "That's the same town."

Rick walked over to look over it then at him.  "The hometown patrol are vigilantes?"

"Not really.  More irritated at the high death rate."

"That wasn't a gas explosion, was it?"

"No.  It was an attack.  The same team defended the graduating class from it.  The explosion was necessary to kill something going for them.  The sinking in later was due to a local problem that they didn't expect to get involved."

"That's why you went out?"

"Xander is like my nephew."

"Oh."  He nodded slowly at that.  "So you went to help?"

"Yes I did.  So did the others."

Rick looked then at him.  "What really happened?"  Horatio found that piece of footage and let him see it.  He watched, shuddering.  "Oh, god.  What is that?"

"A pure demon from what I'm told.  A very large one."

"I can tell that."  He looked at Horatio again.  "You didn't look so bad."

"Thank you."  He smirked.  "They do need someone to revamp the department.  The state's looking for someone."

"I'm not that mean.  I'd start by gutting it and firing them all."

"I'm told they were all dirty to that large worm, who used to be the mayor.  He was also the source of the drugs, guns, and a demonic underground that caused problems.  Now, not all demons are problems.  Plenty of them are peaceful but funny looking so they got classified that way.  Where we disappeared to had some very nice ones.  They simply are bark colored and have a head fin."

"Head fin," he said, then he nodded.   "Why did you go up the last time?"

"To help build some new houses.  There had been an overthrow for about a decade and the people who took over had gutted the town, leaving some very shaky houses.  Someone fell through a wall last year by leaning on it."  Rick shuddered.  "So we were handling a rebuilding push like Habitat does here.  Xander and Dean suggested it when they heard there was a problem.  It's going very well and the town's getting very pretty.  We'll be going back up next weekend as well.  Want pictures?"

"No, that's all right."  He stared at him.  "Are vampires real?"

"Yes.  They're the main threat that Xander and his friends handle out in Sunnydale.  There's apparently multiple species.  That accounts for the differences in the various mythologies."

Rick walked off shuddering.  He didn't want to know anymore.  No wonder the kid *found* weapons.  He was going to drink that knowledge away tonight.  Immediately if he could leave work early.

Horatio smirked, canceling that video and getting back to work.  The look on his face was very pleasing.  Maybe Rick would get the hint and leave him alone for a change.

Yelina came in an hour later.   "Horatio?"  He looked up and sighed, restarting the footage.  She watched, then swallowed.  "I know of them.  I've seen them before."

"Xander and his friends protect the town from the bad ones.  There's plenty that aren't," he said patiently.  "The ones where we disappear to are just funny colored with head fins."

She looked at him.  "How do you know?"

He smiled.  "We did spend considerable time up there, Yelina."

"Oh."  She sat down in his visitor's chair.  "They're not evil?"

"No.  They were classified the same because of where they're from and because they're funny colored."

"I can see how the Church did that."   She licked her lips.  "You aren't bringing my son with you?"

"Not at the moment.  If he finds out and wants to talk about it, he's more than old enough to come talk to me himself."

"I like that," she decided, standing up.  "Now that you're back...."

He held up a hand.  "I'm still going back, Yelina.  They need me now and then.  Right now they're rebuilding the town after a decade of an unjust overthrower taking over. We went up the first time to stop that problem."

"This boy got you involved."

"No, he woke up some repressed memories.  I was already involved.  Recently we've went up to build some new houses and buildings."

She gaped then shook her head.  "You don't have to."

"I do have to.  I'm considered a part of the ruling clan."

"Oh."  She pouted then nodded.  "I would rather Ray Junior was not exposed."

"That is up to him."

"I'm his mother."

"If he comes to talk to me about this matter I will be giving him the truth, Yelina."  He stared her down.  "I won't have my nephew turning into some sort of bigot."  She nodded, walking off.  He sighed, canceling the video again.  This was not going to make him happy.

Eric leaned in.  "First Stetler then he went to get Yelina to nag you?"

"Indeed.  What's wrong?"

"I'm clear."  He brought in his report.  "I'm back down to cold cases so I'll take the next field call.  I've already told dispatch."

"Thank you."  He looked over the report, signed off on it, then put it in his outbox.  "What else is going on?"

"Speed's too busy to make sure you're all right."

"I'm fine at the moment.  Rick found some uncomfortable information.  He came for verification.  When I did, he went to share that with Yelina, who came to check as well.  Then she decided she was upset with it."

"No one ever said the truth is pretty, H," Eric said.

Horatio nodded at that.  "Good point."  He smirked.  "Are you and Mr. Wolfe fighting again?"

"I somehow set off an OCD fit and he ran me off before he got me with a broom."

"I'll see if he wants to talk later, Eric.  Stay out of his way."  Eric nodded, leaving to handle that.  Horatio went to talk to his newest CSI.  He was having problems integrating.  Again.  "Mr. Wolfe."

"Not yet."

He walked in and looked.  "How many more repetitions?"

"Two."  He went back over the table again then one last time.  He stepped back and looked at the boss.  "He sneezed near a sample."

"That does happen to the best of us, Mr. Wolfe."  He patted him on the back.  "Let's talk."  Ryan groaned, hanging his head but nodding.  "You're not in trouble but I do think some desensitization therapy may be helpful so you can ease off on that issue."

"I wasn't like this before I got here."

"Then let's talk over why you feel this way.  We can even go outside since the cleaner is enough to make me gag."  Ryan checked the samples then followed him out to talk to him.  It was needed.  The young man was stumbling and he needed a good hand to help him up.

***

Don looked at Danny.  He had him handcuffed to a chair.  "Are you possessed?" he demanded.

"No!"

"Bull!"  Someone knocked so he let Stella in.  "Thank god."  He shut the door behind her.  "He was going to go on a date with Montana."

"Excuse me?"

"Him, who can't stand her, was going to go on a date with her."

"That's not an emergency."

"Can you see it?  Even last week?"

She considered it.  "No, I can't.  That's an abrupt change of attitude."

"He says he's not possessed."

"That's why you wanted the holy water Xander gave me."  She dug it out of her purse, handing it over.  They splashed it on Danny.  He yelped in pain.  "That's a bad sign."  She called Dean.  "Hi, Dean.  It's Stella.  Slight problem.  Danny's possessed we think.  Abrupt change of attitude toward someone.  Someone he can't stand and suddenly they're going out on a date.  I did splash him with the holy water Xander got me.   He yelped."

"That's because it was cold," Danny protested.

"What do we do?"  She smiled, taking down the number he got from his father.  "Thanks, Dean."  She hung up and called it.  "Hi, I'm Detective Stella Bonasera and I got your number from John Winchester.  Because we think someone's possessed.  He yelped at holy water."  She gave him Don's address.  "We have him in handcuffs.  Thank you."  She hung up and settled in.  "This is interesting.  Why use Danny to get to Lindsay?"

"Don't know.  Think it's a vendetta thing or think they want her?" Don asked.

"No clue."  She looked at Danny.  "Well?  Got an opinion?"

"Is it possible I just wanted to talk with her?  Maybe ease the working relationship some?"

"Danny, how many times have you and Mac or you and I had dinner?" Stella asked.

"None but I have it with Don all the time."

"You and Don are best friends.  We'd expect that.  You suddenly going to a nice place with Lindsay is weird."

He rolled his eyes.  "Still not possessed."

"We'll see, huh?"

"It could be the last life that's making me yelp."

"Doesn't make me," Don said.  He grinned.  "Or else I'd have yelped all the way through Mass."

Danny grumbled but let it go for now.  They'd see he wasn't possessed when the hunter got there.

***

Mac looked up the next morning, going to stop Danny from logging in.  "You look like hell."

"I feel like hell," he muttered.  "Had a long night cuffed to Don's chair."

"Why?"

"He was possessed," Stella said, patting him on the back.  "He's better now."

"Go nap somewhere, Danny.  I'll give you a few hours to recover."  Danny nodded, going to do that.  He looked at her.  "He was?"

"Yeah, he was.  Don found him about to go out on a date."

Mac sighed, shaking his head.  "With?"  She glanced around then gave him a look.  "Lindsay?" he asked quietly.  She nodded.  "Why?  They don't work well together."

"The demon wouldn't say."  She walked off.  "It's fine now.  One of John's contacts came to help us."

"That's good to know."  He went back to his office.  He didn't want to think about that sort of demon.  It always made his head hurt.

***

Faith looked at the information Dean had sent them, frowning at it.  She looked around.  "Of course, he's in history class," she said dryly.  She left him a voicemail.  "Sam, me.  Dean and X left us some intel on why you."  She hung up.  He'd come home soon.  She went to make herself lunch, coming out to find Sam walking in.  "Hey, Studly.  How was the test?"

"Boring, the same as the class."  He pointed at the computer, getting a nod.  He settled in to read it, frowning some.  "That kinda sucks."

"Yeah, but it's good to know."

"Anything on the three year issue?"

"Only got into it when I found that.  Tell me who else wrote."  She went back into the kitchen.

He got into the main inbox.  "The viagra people three times.  Didn't know you needed that sort of help, Faith."

"Not even close, Sammich.  Send it to Dean.  He's apparently having problems pleasing Xan."  Sam leaned over to look at her.  "He's trying to make Xander learn how to be his butt boy but not turning it around."

"Dean's going to have to get over it."  He kept reading.  "Hmm.  The Cialis people too.  And the Enzyte people.  Why do they like you, Faith?  I don't need them yet."

"You'd better never need it."

He grinned.  "It's a good sign that Dad doesn't."

"That's a very good sign.  Anything other than smut from where I was surfing porn."

"Um, yeah.  One from Buffy, one from Willow, both with 'I'm sorry' in the header.  And one from Xander."  He got into that one.  "No, that's a joke."  He put it back.  She came out.  "He said there's a devil's gate a few hours from Bobby's house.  Has to be a joke.  We'd have all heard of it."

"Not necessarily."

He shook his head, going back further.  "Bear picture?"  He got into it and grinned.  "Awww."

"I sent back a joint aww from us."

He read the email with a grin.  "The things Xander can get into."

"And you."

"And me," he agreed.  He kept going, thinking hard about something.  "Hey, Faith?"  She came out of the kitchen with her sandwich.  "What do I do if I find the girl this life was supposed to hit on?"

"Some snappy cheerleader sort?"

"Sorority sister but no."  He handed over his phone.  "The last picture.  Hitting on me horribly and while it was nice, I know I have greatness here."

She looked then at him.  "What's her name?"

"Jess.  She's in about half of my classes right now."  He looked at her.  "I think something meant to set us up."

"You like blondes?" she teased.

"Yeah, but that's a purely biological response.  I like you more because you suit me and understand me.  Even when I have nightmares about hunting you understand.  She never could.  Before you ask, no I couldn't date Buffy.  She's way too...fashionable and nice for me.  Nice is good but she's too much a stick-in-the mud to have fun when I need to and wouldn't make the ordinary things fun like you do."

"Nice sucking attempt, Sam."  She kissed him on the head.  "Why else do you think something's setting you up?"

"Three of the guys I know introduced me to her today."

"That's a good sign of higher power interference.  For what reason?"  Her phone rang.  "No one I know is that psychic."  She answered it.  "Hello?  No, this is Faith, his girlfriend."  She smirked at Sam.  "He was telling me he had met you but he hasn't made it home for lunch yet, Jess.  Nah, I don't mind.  Buddies do things like that.  Since most of his haven't met me, of course they'd try.  Hey, be friends with Sam.  He needs more good friends."  She grinned.  "Not an issue, I'm not jealous.  Only if I caught you two together and then I'd kill you both in a horrible manner that would make most cops puke."  Sam beamed at that and went back to eating.  "Sure, we can have dinner later if you want.  Nope, Sam's cooking or ordering.  My fingers were worn down with making him a sandwich.  Nine's good.  See you then, Jess."  She hung up.  She checked to make sure it was hung up.  "Yeah, someone's setting you two up."

"Pity I have a woman."  He pulled her closer to kiss her.  "You'd really do it in a way that would make cops puke?"

"And make Dean beg later on to not have heard."

"Good."  She gave him an odd look.  "If I stray like that I want to be killed messily as a warning to others."

She beamed.  "You're goofy.  Finish eating."  She gave his head a nudge.  He pulled her down to nibble on her.  "I'm not lunch.  You'll miss your afternoon class."

"It's PE.  Fuck it."  He pulled her into his lap, moving the computer and plate out of his way so he could have his next infusion of Faith.  She needed the reassurance and he liked giving it to her.  Even if the neighbors did pound on the floor about the noise.  He looked up.  "Tough!  She's enjoying it!"  He went back to it, making her laugh.  Then squeal and shout some more.  He finally got to please himself and Faith was limp when he left with the rest of his lunch for PE.  If he jogged he might get there in time.  It wasn't like it was far, only a mile.  He could do that, eat, and call Dean to get his opinion on the matter.  He was a talented boy after all.

Faith pulled herself off the table and went to nap on the couch.  The only thought she could wrangle together was 'damn'.

***

Dean hung up.  "Someone's trying to set Sammy up with a nice, good girl sort named Jess on campus."

"Bet Faith's pissed."

"Nah, she knows.  Sammy told her.  Jess even called the house, talked to Faith.  Faith pointed out Sam could have friends but she'd kill her if she poached and then him.  I told him to avoid the girl for a bit.  See if it calms it down."

"Why set him up?" Bobby asked.

"To give the demon something to make him ache and get back with whatever plan he has in three years?" Xander suggested from the couch.  He still felt like hell.

Dean looked over.  "You're taking an EPT, dude."

"I'm not a breeder in this life.  Otherwise I'd be with someone like Cordelia."

"Pretty but mean?" Dean teased.  "I fit that.  I am handsome and I do pull a mean prank."

"I hate being pranked.  I was the buttmonkey of them in junior and high school.  I will retaliate and you will be very sorry," Xander mumbled then yawned.

"EPT or see if it's something Willow did," John ordered.

Xander got up and found the portal, putting it up so he could go back to the castle.  He ran into the guards.  "Problems?  No one's called in weeks."

"One of the town's elders is having his wedding today."

"That's fine.  Dean thinks I'm sick or magicked."

"Go to your room, I'll send someone."  Xander nodded, sneaking around the celebration to go collapse on his bed.  He went to find the guard that knew magic, sending him to Xander.  Anything Rosenburg had done, he could undo or would know who could.  The guard came jogging back and down to town so something had happened.  He saw Dean strolling through.  "Your room, sir."

"Thanks.  What's up?"

"Wedding for one of the village's elders."

"That's cool.  They have mine and Xander's blessing on it."  That got a smile and Dean snuck around the back way so he could get Xander some juice.  It seemed to make him feel better.  He got there about the same time as the local teacher of the gifted.  He bowed to him.  "Thanks."  He handed Xander the juice, getting a sniff and him drinking it.  "The headache come back?"

"Yeah."   Dean made him sit up and drink so he wouldn't spill anything.  "Sorry to interrupt the happies."

"Not a problem.  I wasn't invited to the wedding party, Guardian.  What attacked you last?"  Dean found the picture in his phone, handing it over.  "Ah.  Not that bad."

"He's had the anti-venom four times," Dean said.  "He keeps getting worse.  Dad said it was this or an EPT."

"EPT?" the teacher asked.

"Pregnancy test," the guard said, then coughed.  "I didn't think human males could."

"Us either," Dean said.  "But this is a lot like morning sickness from what I understand."

The teacher smiled.  "Let me see.  My student said he found magical traces."  He took off the necklace blocking the hellmouth's taint from flowing off, noticing the improvement.  He tested the young man and snapped the spells he found on him.  Including one that made him groan and hold his head.  "He should not have that problem with the blockage anymore."

"Blockage?  The memory block?" Dean asked.  "I thought we cured that."

"He had one blocked from his present life," the teacher said.  He looked around.  "We need to dump the excess energy off him again."

"Last time the hellmouth taint started to wear out he attracted every bad girl in Miami."

"This time I can get it down further so it's not making him ill."  Dean nodded, going to open up the bathroom for him.  They got him in there under a comfortable shower.  Then he stopped up the drain and used the falling water to 'wash' the power out of him.  "We cannot let this into the drain system. Hellmouth energy is a pollutant."  The guard and Dean got buckets to bail some out to give him more room.  By the time they were done Xander was nearly empty of hellmouth taint that they could feel.  "Some will always remain to mark him as a favored of the hellmouth but not nearly as much and it will help him block out other spirits and stop that witch from bothering him."  The door slammed open.  He looked back.  "This one is naked.  Leave us."

"You always wanted to upstage me," she sneered, stomping in.

Xander gave her a dirty look.  "Move or I'm puking on you."  She gasped and ran away.  He let the rest of the energy out.  He ran into a wall.  "Is it all gone?"

"No, that's your personal reserves where you've sucked it up, young man."

"Long live Sunnydale," he said dryly.  They took out a few more buckets of tainted water and Xander felt better soon enough.  They got him out and dried off, putting the towels with the tainted water.  Dean put him to bed for now, then looked at the teacher.  "I'm better.  Still pukey though."

"That is the poison.  For some reason the anti-toxin is not working.  What bit him?"   Dean showed him the picture.  "What did its face look like?"

"Dad shot it, I was at home with a sprained ankle."

"Purple and pissed off," Xander said.  "Purple mask, gray/green eyes, steam coming out of its nose."

"You probably took out its child or mate."

"Was it not dangerous?"

"No, they're very dangerous.  You do not want them in any town, much less yours since they feed on the hellmouth's bad energy."  He wrote down something for his student to get him, letting him sneak around to the temple to do that.  "Troublesome things, bindings."

"As long as they're happy and content I'm happy for them," Xander told him.  "If that's what floats your boat, it's good for society."

"Very well said."  Someone knocked then walked in.  He whispered in Dean's ear.  "Problems?"

"The new princess told others we're here.  Let me handle that."  Xander gave him a pathetic look.  "You're staying in bed.  Here or at the motel, pick one."  He left, going to the celebration.  He walked up to the couple, nodding politely at her sneer.  "Xander's a bit ill, that's why we snuck up here.  He was fighting with something that got him."  The elder whimpered.  "He's fine.  We're taking care of it.  We didn't want to interrupt, that's why we snuck around."  The elder smiled.  "My mate and I both wish you happiness if this is the one you chose and you find her worthy of you."

"Thank you, Guardian.  I do find her very worthy."

"Then, as my mate just said, it's good for society to see happy couples."  That got a happy, beaming smile.  "We just weeded out some of the hellmouth taint to get the antidote to work.  I've got to get back before he escapes.  Again."  A few of the partiers laughed.  "Many blessings on your womb."  He left, going back there.  Wishing her a lot of kids was mean but nice to everyone else.  A guard gave him an odd look.  "What?"

"She'll be one of those loud, complaining, yelling mothers," he said quietly.

Dean leaned closer to whisper.  "That's her husband's thing."  He smirked back.  "He'll fix the kids so they're his heirs."  The guard snickered, turning to hide it.  "Let me get back to my complaining mate."

"He's not hiding?"

"He's probably trying to."  He walked off that way, heading back to their suite.  Xander was indeed under the covers.  The teacher was giving it fond looks while he mixed.  "Oral?"

"Suppository.  That way it's not diluted by stomach contents or acid."

Dean grimaced. "Eww."

"Very.  He'll need to lay still for at least an hour."

"Can we get it to go?"  Xander whimpered. "You can lay on the motel's couch, Xander."

"Yes, Dean."  He uncovered his head.  "I'm sorry I got jumped by it and wasn't strong enough to beat it.  I won't do it again."

"It happens.  Even I get knocked down and choked now and then."  He patted him on the head, taking the small plastic case with the single lump inside.  "Any precautions?  Should I wear gloves?"

"Probably.  Let it soak in naturally.  It's not too big for him to take."  He gathered things up.  "We will dispose of the hellmouth water for you."  Dean nodded, helping Xander up and into sweats so they could go back to the motel.  He shook his head.  "Such a troubled young one this life.  And a witch that needs to be taught manners."

"It's his best friend, sire.  Rosenburg."

He glared at the doorway.  "That should stop.  You cannot work on the light when that is your issue."  He summoned someone to quietly come up and take care of the hellmouth tainted water.  He could sell it for a lot of money, which they'd split.  His contact came up.  "Taken off the Guardian Xander."

"Interesting.   I've met him."

"Ethan, he is the overlord's nephew.  Plus we must talk on that witch he has around him.  Not since I helped teach you have I seen such chaos around a body."

"Ripper is teaching her."

"Poorly.  I'll talk with the boy myself then."  They got to work draining the water into sealed containers.  "He ran into an Amriti."  Ethan shuddered.  "They tried to take an anti- toxin orally four times but it did not work."

"Poor sot.  That suppository burns."

"Yes but it is necessary."  He heard a cheer and smiled.  "He must have broken his bride in."  Ethan smirked but shook his head.

***

Dean came out of the portal and took it down, tossing it onto the couch before taking Xander into the bathroom.  He came out to get a set of gloves from the medical kit then went back in.

"Problems?" John asked.

"New medicine."

"Why do we need the gloves?"

"Don't ask, Dad.  Really."  He kicked the door shut, putting Xander against the sink so he could stroke his back and keep him from tensing up too much.  He even teased him a bit to not make him pay attention.  Finally he shoved the hard little ball in.

"Burns," Xander said, shifting.

"It can do that.  You're okay.  That's the nasty crap being eaten."  He helped him back into his clothes then tossed out the gloves.  He walked out to put Xander on the couch, putting the portal back into the bag they kept it in.  Xander curled up and let Dean cover him with a blanket from the bed.  "There.  Better?"  Xander's blanket head nodded.  "Good.  Let me know if you need anything."

"Brownie?"  Dean got one and handed it over.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He looked at his father.  His father smirked.  "Remember, some day you'll be old and half your medicines will need to be shoved that way too."

"Most hunters don't live that long."

"But I'm a wonderful son and hunter who'll help you."  John shuddered.

"I'm never jumping one of these again," Xander said from his hiding spot.  "John can shoot the next one too."

"Sure I will, kid."  He patted the covered foot.  "Need anything else?"

"Just to hide."

"You okay?"

"It burns."

"It's the poison being eaten," Dean said.  "The guy said that they feed off hellmouth energy so we need to find more of them to waste."

"We're headed back that way tomorrow."

"Good.  Because he removed about seven or eight spells from Willow."

John gave him an odd look.  "Really?"

"Really."

"She was probably trying to protect me," Xander said.

"I don't care.  She can ask," Dean said firmly.

"She should but she sees it as a friend's duty."  He uncovered his head.  "We need to find out what they were."

Dean nodded.  "Let me call."  He moved to do that.   "It's Dean.  Ask the guard that was just helping us what the teacher guy removed from Xander in the way of spells please?  We want to take it to Rosenburg to talk to her."  He nodded.  "That's fine.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He'll ask the teacher since he's up there with a former student named Ethan."

"Ethan Rayne?"

"Yeah.  Why?"

"He's the reason I changed at halloween," he said dryly.  "And the band candy incident that mentally deaged Giles and Joyce until they ended up doing it on the hood of a police car."

Dean shuddered.  "Eww."  He called the Magic Box.  "Anya, is Giles there?  It's Dean.  I'll buy something later.  We're on our way back, want something from Kansas?"  He wrote that down. "I'll see what I can do."  She put Giles on.  "It's us.  The anti-toxin didn't work so we took him to the castle to see if they had a better one.  They do.  It's a suppository.  No, he's not happy."  Xander spit and covered his head back up.  "But a few interesting things came up.  They weeded a lot of hellmouth energy out of Xander.  Under running water and it took about three tubs full.  He and his student Ethan are handling it.  He said that."  He smirked at his father, who smirked back.  They knew Giles had trained for it sometime in the past.  "He's being helpful so I'll leave him alone for now.  Unless he can use it to hurt Xander.  Another issue is those demons feed on hellmouth energy.  If there's more, they've gotta go.  Fast."

"Soon," John agreed.

"Which means she'll need guns to do that.  We'll be back within a week to help her.  Yeah, we'll be fine as long as they don't bite or stab us."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  There's also another issue."  Giles moaned.  "The same guy that was helping us and called Ethan about the tainted water removed a lot of spells.  They're going to come talk to you about it.  Yes, them.  Please.  He's fine.  Hiding.  He'll be fine.  Thanks, Giles.  About a week.  I don't know if there's more.  He thinks that one jumped in because Xander or Buffy took out one of its clan.  Yeah, that's what he said.  He should be.  Let us know?  Thanks, Giles."  He hung up.  "He'll be talking to her once he knows for certain what was removed.  Yes, he trained with him too."

Xander uncovered his head.  "Back in the old days.  Ethan and he were part of a coven that was doing black magic in London.  Then Eyghon happened and someone died so Giles quit and went back to do what his dad wanted.  He was rebelling that way."

John rubbed his face.  "Eyghon?  The Dreamer?"  Xander nodded then covered his head again.  "Why?"

"His dad said he was going to become a watcher and wouldn't let him do anything else.  He wanted to be a grocer or something, or so he told Buffy."

John got the point very well.  His younger son could have went that way.  Sammy would be scary going to black magic.  He moaned, rubbing his head.

"Sammy has more sense," Dean said quietly.  John smiled at him for that.  "Giles being a street thug blows my mind.  I can't see him in a leather jacket."

"Listening to punk music, t-shirt, overshirt around his waist.  Smoking, a pack rolled up in his shirt sleeve.  James Dean punk."

Dean shook his head.  "Still can't see it with the tweed."

"Should've met Wesley," Xander said.  "Even more uptight but when he showed up to bother Angel he was a rogue demon hunter on a harley wearing leather pants and jacket."

"Uh-huh."  Dean shuddered.  John laughed.  "Really, can you see any watcher like that?"

"Nope.  Though, I met Wesley when I checked in with Angel before getting to Sunnydale.  He was a lot less stiff.  Summer cruising suits, glasses, haircut from Fantastic Sam's."

"He got better once he got fired," Xander said.

"Good.  He was kinda stiff," John said.

"Before he was so full of it it wasn't funny but he did try to get Buffy to look at guns and other weapons," Xander said.  "How's he doing with Cordy?  She used to have a lot of lust for him."

"They were bickering like siblings."

"Good.  It's good for her."  He yawned then shifted because the burning was back.  "Eew."

"It'll get better," Dean said.  He sat beside Xander's feet, letting him rest against him.  Each time he shifted he patted him.  It helped and it wasn't that mushy of him.  John smiled at him for it.  He glared at his father for grinning.  "We need to find those demons."

"We do," he agreed.  "I used lead.  It appears it worked."

"We can do that," Dean decided.  "Between the shotguns and the handguns, we'll be good."

"As long as Buffy didn't get them," Xander said quietly.

Dean looked at him.  "She didn't get in.  We both checked."  Xander nodded.  "She won't be doing it again.  I made sure of it by boobytrapping the door."

Xander laughed.  "Good."  He shifted.  Dean stroked his ankle and he settled down.  "I don't like this."

"He said it'd be about three hours," Dean reminded him.  "It's only been a half hour."

"I'm shooting anything that looks like that one."

"You do that," Dean agreed.  His phone rang.  "Yeah?" he asked.  He listened.  "I don't know, Gibbs.  We're not anywhere near there.  Kansas.  Any idea who'd be in Louisiana, Dad?"

"No clue.  What happened?"

"On a base.  Poltergeist started a fire.  Gibbs, look for a guy that reminds you of us."  He said a name.  "I know damn well he is.  Ask him.  Then put him on."  He waited.  "Hey, Dave, Dean and John Winchester.  Gibbs and his senior agent do know about demons.  They know us, they know about the sitch in Sunnydale.  All that.  Let him make any cover story that's necessary.  You get it?"  He grimaced.  "Where's it buried?  Oh, damn.  What do you do when you can't burn the thing that's keeping it?" he asked his father.

"What's keeping it?"

"His Medal of Honor."

"Would an exorcism on it help any?" Xander asked.

"I don't know.  Dad?"  He listened to the phone.  "Xander suggested an exorcism on the medal itself if you're sure it's that.  I don't know.  Find some way to break the link?"

Xander uncovered his head.  "Is it holding him here because he earned it and didn't get it or because he earned it and wants it to pass on?"

"Pass on," Dean said after listening.

"Pass it on in a ceremony, with full honors."

"Hear that, Dave?  Xander Harris.  He's on the team out in Sunnydale and kinda mine.  Long story.  Way long story.  Yeah, that could help.  Then loosen him if he's still holding on.  He may stay to watch over his kids.  Sure, talk to him if you can find someone.  A medium?"  He smiled.  "I'd offer you Xander but we're in Kansas and he's sick."  He nodded.  "Good luck with that.  Yeah, Gibbs and Tony, his senior agent.  Ziva?"

"The one the director stuck on his team.  Mossad agent," Xander said.  "Look in the city. There's a few good practioners according to Giles.  Have him give him a rec."

"That's not a bad idea.  One of the guys Xander works with is formerly Watchers Council."  He winced at the swearing.  "Yeah, them.  He works with Buffy actually.  He knows some people down there.  Let me give you the Magic Box's number.  He can give you a rec.  They might know who can talk to it."  He repeated it and the guy repeated it back.  "Ask for Rupert Giles.  Tell him you're a hunter like we are.  He likes me, dude, I'm cute."  He grinned.  "Good luck.  Don't know about her.  Have no idea about her.  Xander said she's formerly Mossad."

"No, she's currently Mossad.  She's liaising."

"Oh, she's liaising," he said dryly.  "She's still Mossad and Gibbs got her forced onto his team without permission."  He nodded.  "That'll work.  Call if you need more help.  Gibbs has all our numbers, Dave.  Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "They'll be fine."

"It's sad," Xander said quietly.

"Yeah it is," Dean agreed.  "It's sadder that he set a school caf on fire for some bully picking on his kid."

"That's worse but it's still sad that he's trying to hang on to protect his son."

"It is," John agreed.  "I'd do all I could to watch over my boys.  Sammy needs it and Dean needs smacked on the side of the head now and then."

Xander grinned.  "I'll do that for you."

"Thanks, kid.  Try to sleep."

"I can't.  It burns."

"Try anyway.  Let me go outside to see if they need more help."  He took Dean's phone, giving his son a pointed look before leaving.

"I think he wanted you to take my mind off it," Xander teased.

"Yeah, he did."  He pulled him up to kiss him, making him moan.  They kept it at that level.  Not like they could have sex while he had the medicine inside him.

Part 5

Gibbs hung up and looked at the guy.  "Think it'll work?"

"They'd know.  Winchesters deal with a lot more spirits than anything else.  Dean's gay?"

"Long story," Gibbs told him.   He tucked his phone back into his pocket.  "Let's just say it's a past connection that brought them together.  They both complained about it."

Dave shook his shoulder-length hair.  "I don't want to know, do I?"

"No.  But Sam's girlfriend for the same reason is very good.  A bit naughty but good to him.  They're at Stanford.  Full ride."

"We heard Sammy had brains," he said with a grin.

"He does.  Faith's a beautiful young girl."

"Good!"  He looked at the kids involved.  "I hope this works."

Gibbs nodded.  "It will.  Call that Giles guy."

"Watchers Council?  They hate our kind and won't work with us."

"Giles trained Xander, what he got, and they've been in Sunnydale for four years."

"That's a long time for their sort."

"She's got backup in Xander and a few others."

"That gas explosion?"

Gibbs leaned closer.  "An ascension.  It was necessary."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah.  A lot."   He looked at Ziva.  "Call, get someone."

"Mossad?"

"The director overruled me," he said.  The hunter nodded and walked off to call, talking to the boy on the way.  He walked over to Ziva.  "We're going to be dealing with things that will be making you feel uncomfortable."

"Why?"

"Because this is going to turn into a religious matter as well.  Including some native religion from the area."  He wished Tony or even McGee was here.  McGee could handle this.  Kate would've snorted and sneered in private but dealt with it quietly in public.  Ziva...  He wasn't sure she could handle it.  He looked back at Dave laughing.  "Good news?"

"Very good news.  We have one."  That got a nod and a smile.  He talked to the boy and his mother, who was still trying to deny it and blame her son but all the evidence said her son wasn't anywhere near the start of the fire across the room from him.  She couldn't fault the surveillance tape.  Their helper showed up an hour later and Gibbs got the base commander to come help them as well.  He banished Ziva at her first hiss.  Dave watched over it all, hand near his rock salt and knife.  The medal was handed to the son with a speech that the captain knew the boy would live up to his father's willpower and strength, and possibly join them some day if he wanted.  The boy said thank you and put it on.  The spirit manifested to look at his son.  His wife sobbed.  He smiled at her, patted his son on the head, told Dave to stand down, that the fire was an accident.  He had no idea how to control it.  The priestess told him how and how to remove himself from the medal and just hang around instead.  He did that and it was over with.  The spirit faded, for now.  The wife and son were hugging.  Dave and the priestess stepped out of the way, back by Gibbs.  "Thanks," Dave said.

"It's hard when you leave them at home.  Even if it's only to go across the state," he said quietly.  "When you die and move away totally it's got to eat you."  He shook his hand.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Gibbs.  Let me know if you have more problems and can't find one of the Winchesters."  The priestess gave him an odd look.  "Apparently Dean Winchester hooked up with a guy named Xander, who knows Rupert, who called you."

"I know of Xander.  He's strong, but odd."  Gibbs looked at her.  She smirked.  "Yes, I do know.  Even then he was odd."

"True.  Strong and stubborn too."

"As Dean is.  They'll be horrible spawn some year when you all revert and their spawn come back."  She smirked and walked off.

"Huh?" Dave said.

"There's been a curse in the past that changed some people so they had to be reborn as human," he said quietly.

"Ah, shit," he muttered.  Gibbs nodded.  "No wonder they're hunters."

"They were the Overlord Jethro's guardians before."

"Tough but fair from what I heard.  Not so bad.  Why hunting then?"

"So they could be hunted and sacrificed.  That way they couldn't go back."

"That makes a lot of sense," he sighed, shaking his head.  "I won't tell no one.  There's hunters who'll freak out at that knowledge."  He shook his hand.  "Thanks, Gibbs."

"Thank you."  They exchanged cards and Gibbs left, going to pick up Ziva from outside.  "Let's head."

"I was watching.  There was a ... a flimsy thing that appeared!"

He looked at her.  "Now he's passed on and won't set any more bullies on fire."

She gaped.  "Just like that?"

"That's what we were doing, Officer David."  He walked off.  "Make it to the car by the time I do or walk back to DC."

She ran for the car.  She needed to ask someone about that.  She really didn't understand.  The director probably wouldn't either.  Maybe her Rabbi?

***

Xander walked into the Magic Box.  "I feel better but the town is now making me nauseous.  I'm guessing I've got to repressurize with hellmouth energy again."

"Probably, yes," Giles agreed.  "What did he dose you with?"

"No clue but it burned like hell," Xander complained.  He handed Anya a bag.  "Dean went right home and I didn't even look.  He said that's as close as he could come."  He looked at Buffy and Willow.  "Did he tell you what we found out about that demon?"

"There's got to be another way to kill them," Buffy complained.

"Not from what I've found," Giles told her.  "It takes the application of lead to their brain.  Unless you think can use a lead stake to go up their nasal cavities?"

She shuddered.  "Eww.  No."

"Then that's the best option," Xander said.  "Because they're dangerous.  Even if they're not deadly they're calling more energy up to feed themselves."

"They're by the school's remains," she sighed.  "Can I call off that hunt?"

"Sure.  John'll be here by tonight too.  We can go be manly men with guns."

"Thank you.  I'll do cemetery and Bronze patrol."

"You can do beach patrol because 'tis the season for the massive beach party tonight with the junior high and high school kids," he corrected.  She moaned, holding her head now.  "So you need to head that way tonight.  The signs are up all over town."

"She didn't go out last night," Willow said.  "She had a test today."

"Okay."  He'd handle that lie at another time.  Anya squealed at her present, pulling it out.  Xander looked at the flesh colored dick that was about their size then shook his head.  "I don't want to know.  G-man, Gibbs said thank you for your help.  The spirit's free and won't burn any more cafeterias."

"He's most welcome but do quit calling me that horrid nickname, Xander."

"Fine.  Whatever.  I'm in a good mood.  Even if Willow did drop X-Lax into the last dose of brownies.  I needed it anyway to get the medicine out."  Buffy turned red and squeaked.  He looked at her.  "Three hours of burning from the medicine, thank you."

She turned brighter red.  "Didn't need to know," she squeaked.  She got up and ran out.

Dean walked in.  "Thanking Willow for the X-Lax brownies we fed to Dad and Bobby?"

"Yuppers."  He took a kiss.  "Anya likes her present."

"Hey, she asked.  It's as close as she's comin'."  He looked at Giles.  "Where are they?"

"Near the school.  Buffy scouted them the other night.  She'll be off handling the beach party's threats tonight."

"Remind her the swim team is off the coast again by Navy Sonar readings.  I had Tony check when I saw the sign.  McGee said they had some large, unidentified fish swimming near the bottom about ten miles off."

"I'll do so.  We think there's only one small family grouping there."

Xander nodded.  "That's even better."  He looked around.  "Any word on the Gucci bitch?"

"Not at the moment."

"Xander realized if we were still our old selves, they probably would've sent her to us."

"That would've been much safer," Giles agreed.  "Do you think we can?"

"Don't know.  Have to ask Jethro," he said.

"I'll do that tonight once I get some materials together.  Thank you, boys."

"Hey, someone's got to plan," Xander teased.  Giles smiled back and went to his office.  He looked at the pouting witch then at Tara.  Tara shrugged but walked off shaking her head.  Xander looked at Willow again.  "Did they tell you what he removed from me?"

"I was trying to protect you and I know you're not gay.  You said you're not gay."

Dean kissed Xander, making him moan and get hard.  "Really?  You so sure?"  She whimpered before stomping off.

"Can I watch?  I'd love to see it," Anya said.  "It'd be very educational and I don't have any gay porn in my collection."

"Maybe later, Anya," Xander said, looking at Dean.  "Keep it up, be tired for hunting because I'll be making you beg."

"Really?" he taunted with an evil smirk.  "How are you going to do that?"

"Take it home!" Giles yelled before Xander could do more than move closer.  "This is a family shop.  Impressionable teenagers do come in now and then without warning.  Including Dawn."  They headed for home.  He moaned, putting his head down on the desk.

"Poo, I wanted to see that," Anya complained, stroking the dick that was about Dean's size and then the one that was about Xander's size.  If they wanted to play with girls again she definitely wanted to help.

***

John watched his son walk.  "Sore?" he teased.

Dean glared at him.  "Xander's evil."

"I told you you'd beg," he quipped.   He smirked back at his mate.  "It was very handsome on you."

"Of course it was, I'm a handsome guy.  Still not right, Xander."

Xander laughed.  "Turnabout's fair play, Dean.  And good play."

"Boys!" John complained.  "Too much visualization going on.  Use code or something."

"How about we change the subject?" Sam said as he joined them.  "Buffy called and said she needed Faith's help?"

"Really?" Dean asked.  "For what?  A beach party's safety?"

"Warn her my former swim team might be showing up.  They're about ten miles off the coast."

Sam called her.  "Xander said something about his swim team being about ten miles off the coast and a beach party?"  He looked at him.  "Beach party?"

"Where is she?"

"Eighth."

"Tell her to look at the nearest light pole.  It happens every year."

"He said there's probably a flier on the light poles."  He waited while she found one.  "Yeah, that's what he said Buffy was supposed to be handling tonight."  He shook his head.  "She's at the Bronze.  She saw her walk past."

"She clubbing or hunting?" Dean asked.

"She said she didn't know."

"What's she wearing?" Xander asked.

"Bright pink heels, skirt, and a lighter pink top.  Pantyhose."

"She's clubbing," Dean and Xander said.

"Tell her to hit the beach out by Dead Man's point.  That's near where they hold it and there's a major vamp storage area near there."  Sam repeated that while Xander found his phone.  "Giles, where's Buffy?"  He smirked.  "Faith said hi.  Said she's at the Bronze in pantyhose."  He groaned something.  "Yeah, I'm wondering why, Giles.  I have no clue but we're busy and thankfully she called Faith to handle the beach party's safety.  Yeah, I warned her.  Sam's with us.  Thanks, Giles."  He hung up.  "He's going to find her and talk to her as her watcher."  He slid his phone back into the pocket.  "Those things, Dad?"

John looked.  "That's the sucker.  Sammy, don't let it bite or scratch you," he ordered.

"Or you too can have medicine up the butt that burns for three hours," Xander said dryly.

Sam gave him an odd look.  "You did?"

"Yeah.  Buffy was busy."

"Uh-huh."  They moved closer, taking out the guardian of the small enclave.  "What do these things do?"

"Suck up hellmouth energy.  It's drawing it open," Dean said, shooting one.  Xander hesitated so John took out a smaller version of the same demon.  "I know, Xander, but they're dangerous to us and our clan."  Xander nodded, firing on the next one.  Afterward, he'd go puke in the bushes of the ruins of the houses that hadn't fallen into the sinkhole.  They searched the former building, not finding anything there.  So they left and headed to find Faith.  Xander pointed once they got set up by the beach.  "That's a what?" Dean demanded.  He had never seen one of those before and by his dad's look at it neither had he.

"The coach of the swim team wanted his people faster so he was dosing his team in the sauna."

"Steroids?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Mermaid parts and blood."

"Shit," Sam muttered.

"Yeah, a lot of it.  I went undercover.  They kept me from turning black and oily.  Barely."  John even shuddered at that.  "They can and have eaten students."  They nodded, moving closer to protect.  Faith was dusting the vamps.  Sam moved to help her.  Dean too when he spotted more coming.  Xander stepped in front of the group watching.  "No," he said calmly.  "Not tonight, kids."  They stared at him.  One sniffed and creeled.  "Hey, Ben."  He grimaced, glancing back at the clueless kids then at them.  "I can't let you, guys.  It's my duty to stop you.  If you leave we don't have to shoot you or anything."  They growled at him.  "Go.  You have to go.  I don't want to shoot you guys."  One tried to pounce.  John used his silenced pistol to hit it.  The others grabbed that one to pull back and take care of it.  "Go.  Now.  Back into the water.  Leave Sunnydale alone.  Please?" he begged quietly.  They stared at him then left.  He slumped.

"You had to give them the choice, Xander," John said, patting him on the back.  "The kids have to be protected."  Xander nodded, going to take it out on some vamps since even more were joining in.  John called the cops about the bonfire.  No one showed up.  He called in kids drinking and doing drugs, plus having sex.  They showed up for them having sex.  They rounded up each and every kid.  Even those trying to hide got rounded up and taken home.  John found the team gabbing against some rocks.  Some very dusty rocks.  "We good?"

"We're fine, Dad," Dean promised.  "They went poof.  Or ran.  Some ran."

"Some needed to run," Xander told him.  He looked around.  "There's more that way."

"Didn't know you had the slayer cramps, Xan," Faith teased.

"I can hear their discman.  They're playing 2 Live Crew."

She snickered.  "Older vamps then."  They went to stop them.  Faith scared the crap out of them, making them run at the guys, who staked very well.  "Nearly in unison, guys.  Good job." she said, clapping.  One grabbed her so she tossed him, pulling out her own stake.

"Hold on," Xander said.  "That's Spike.  Pain in the ass and dangerous but chipped and possibly a messenger from Angel.  What's up?"

"Where's Smuffy?" he sneered.

"Hanging out at the Bronze.  What did Angel need, Spike?"  Xander helped him up, staring at him.  "Problems coming or otherwise?"

"Some little suckers who suckle the hellmouth like a teat are coming."

"Purple mask, gray skin?  Poisonous?" Xander asked.   Spike nodded, lighting up.  "We already got them all we think.  One bit me or whatever the other day."

"He was happy, mate," Spike said with an evil smirk.  "That was their seed."

"Knew I went home to take a shower for a reason," Xander quipped back, cracking the others up.  "We took out a small clan.  About twenty."

"Sounds about right.  Needed lead to the brain."

John pulled up his gun.  "It works on many things."

Spike gave him an impressed look.  "No wonder the chit's lasted so long.  She lets others do her work for her."

"We're finding out why she got lazy tonight," Xander assured him.  "Anything else Angel or Cordy sent up?"

"Yeah.  Evacuate the little one.  You'll need more fighters to take her down but she needs to be safe."

"We're thinking about that," Xander agreed.  "Thanks, Spike.  Head."  He nodded.

"Poof said to stay and help."

"Then go talk to Giles.  He should be with Buffy at the Bronze."  He nodded, hiking off.  Xander relaxed against the rocks.  "Well, now we know."

"Now we do," Dean agreed.  "Think the castle will be safe enough?"

"I'd hope so," Xander said.  He looked at Faith.  "How's Palo Alto?"

"Lots and lots of clubs but almost no vamps now.  Only two last week."

Xander grinned.  "That's good."  He gave her a nudge as he leaned closer.  "Take Yoga, Faith.  It makes you all bendy for many things."  She cackled, swatting him.  He grinned back.  "I like to see you happy.   Maybe you can learn to teach it?"  She gaped.  "How many Californians live in the gym?"

"Good point.  I can see me doing that.  It'd mean no stupid orders too."

"Yup.  It would."  She beamed and punched him on the arm.  "Thanks, Xan."

"Welcome."  He stood up.  "Okay, want to do cemetery patrol or are we tired?"

"None coming up by the papers," Sam said.

"Even better.  Our house for popcorn and a movie?"  Everyone nodded, going with them.  "Faith, pinch Dean for me please?  Anya wanted him to find models of us for her personal enjoyment."

She pinched him.  "You make casts or just guess in the store?"

"I know how large I am."  Sam gave him an odd look.  "Every guy does it at least once, Sammy."

"No, never have measured myself.  Dad?"

"I wasn't that sort of boy when that stuff mattered to me."

"Don't look at me.  It doesn't matter to me," Xander said with a grin.

"Uh-huh.  You can measure on sight thanks to the job, Xander."

"Well, yeah.  Anything under a foot," he said with a wicked grin.

"He outside that?" Faith asked.  "No wonder he's walking funny if he is."

"No," Xander said.  "That was me being good to him and making him beg."

"Way to go, boytoy!" she praised.  She patted Dean on the back.  "About time, Dean.  It's good for you."  Sam kissed her to make her stop.  John sighed and rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly.  "Thanks, Sam."

"Welcome, Faith."  He put an arm around her shoulders, looking down at her.  "Just think, some day Xander's going to be up for heir if Danny and Abby don't spawn.  That means he'll have to with Dean," he said in her ear, cracking her up.

"Yeah, I can see that!" she cheered.  She broke out in new giggles, hugging Joyce when she ran into her.  "Hey, Mrs. S."

"Faith.  How are you, dear?"  She gave her a pat on the back then got free.  "Are you all right?  I heard you moved to Palo Alto with Sam."

"We're good," she promised with a grin.  "Being our naughty selves."

"That's good."  She stroked down her hair.  "Where are you all headed?"

"Home," Xander said.  "We've already patrolled and fought.  Sam said there's no new vamps coming up."

"That's excellent news.  That must be why Buffy has a date."

"I guess," John said.  She gave him an odd look.  He smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

"She called off for her date?"

"Yuppers," Dean said, then groaned and shook his head.  "Sorry, he infected me with that one."  Sam cackled at that.  Faith too.  "We're going to relax."

"Go ahead, kids.  Come see me tomorrow if you're not heading back tonight, Faith.  Tell me how it's been."  She patted Sam on the cheek.  "Such a nice boy."  She walked off, going to check on Rupert at the Magic Box.  "My daughter is where?"

"She had been at the Bronze but she's now missing.  Spike has shown up with a message from Angel."

"Which one was Spike?"  He came out of the back.  "Oh, from the parent-teacher night.  Are you souled now too?"

"Hell no, ducks.  Bloody well chipped to hell and back but not infected or someat like that."

"Do not swear around my younger daughter, Spike."

"There is talk about sending her to safety, Joyce," Giles said quietly.

She considered it.  "Very safe or just safe?"

"We think she'll be very safe.  I'm talking with Jethro Gibbs about it."

"Ah.  That'd hopefully be very safe.  Come talk to me when you two have talked."  He nodded.  She gathered up her daughter.  "Come along, Dawn.  Time for bed."

"But, mom!"

"No.  Bed.  At least you weren't at the beach picnic."

"They'll shun me for that," she pouted as she gathered up stuff.

"They were just arrested for underage drinking and sex, young lady."  She shuddered and followed her outside.  "Good night, Rupert."

"Good night, Joyce."  He looked at Spike. "I'm sure we can handle it."

"Doyle said not.  He's a seer."

"That's interesting."  He went to write Wesley a letter to see if he could get the full details of that vision.  It might be important.

Spike went back to the loaned basement, shaking his head.  "They're all nutters.  Every last one."  He settled down to nap down there.  It was a boring night without any chaos going on.  Not even any bad demons to rip apart and eat.

***

Gibbs looked over the information on the flight back.  Ziva was muttering to herself.  They had been sent, alone, on another case but this time it had been testifying in front of JAG that had made it necessary.  Ziva had the wrong responses for the field unless they were under fire.  She needed some serious training.  He had noted that in his evaluation as well.  Including a copy sent past the director to the Sec Nav recommending Ziva have to take a few forensic courses before being assigned to a field team.  He appreciated the young woman.  He might come to like her as a team member but he wasn't going to cover for her if she had stabbed the person who surprised her and ended up being not only an officer of the local department but also the victim's wife.  This new situation looked bad.  Very bad.  A hell goddess?  Was there going to be another battle like with the ascension at graduation?

Ziva leaned over.  "New case notes?"

"Request from someone."  He folded it up and put it into his bag.  "Someone wanted me to babysit for awhile while they had to deal with a problem that was stalking her.  I'm not sure if we can or not."  If not, maybe Horatio's team?  He was hyper-protective of everyone.  If not, Mac maybe.  As long as the thing didn't feel her there and follow her.  It might do her some good, get her used to other cultures and make her quit being such a teenage girl.  He looked at her.  "You need to work on your reflexes, Ziva.  You nearly stabbed the victim's wife."

"She snuck up behind us."

"As far as she knew, we were intruders in her home."

"Oh."  She slumped.  "I'm trying."

"You are, but you're trying to learn a lot of stuff that you probably can't learn all at once.  You can't lose your edge in case you get recalled but you can lose the tension that makes you want to snap at everyone."  She could also lose that manipulative streak.  That he would not allow.  Ever.  Especially not if it hurt Tony or Kate again.  Or even McGee.  He crossed his feet.  "With that, you have another problem."  She looked at him.  He grimaced.  "That little dinner thing of yours?  Not cute.  I will not have you dividing this team.  I don't care what the director wants.  I'll throw you off the building myself.  Am I clear?"

"Yes, Gibbs.  I meant to invite him to a private dinner."

"Rule twelve, Ziva: no dating your teammates.  It makes you the wrong sort of close and screws with your perceptions of the situation."  She shuddered but nodded.  "I don't care what Jen told you to do.  Stop it.  Now.  Or go home."

"She didn't," she started.  He stared her down.  She flinched.  She knew why criminals hated that look.  "It won't happen again."

"It had better not."  He relaxed some.  "I do think you should have been sent to get some of what you need in school.  The rest got it given to them in classes.  You should have too."

"She said she took off the beginner training lessons when I asked."

"The Sec Nav put them back.  It's important.  Like going to the academy is for cops.  It puts everyone on the same page and learning the same methods.  You need to either learn it faster and better or find a way to school yourself in it.  I do know some very good CSI in other cities.  I can ask them if there's a refresher course coming up."

"I would appreciate that."

"Good."  He leaned his head back.  "Rest.  It'll be a few hours."

"Yes, Gibbs," she said quietly.  "Were you this hard on McGee?"

"McGee had the basic lessons and DiNozzo smoothed out his rough edges.  He's still working on a few but he learned on the first case.  You're doing all right on evidence collection since we went over that but you're not following the right sort of leads to give you the information you need to solve things like fraud, murders, and theft.  We deal with those as well."  She nodded.  "Cases go up every year, Ziva.  We're working a hell of a lot more hours now than we were three years ago when McGee joined us."  Mostly because the director had fired a team from the local office.

"It's going to get worse?"

"Yes."

"Oh."  She frowned, thinking about that.  "What about the terrorism angle?"

"That's not my concern unless it comes up in a case, Officer David," he said dryly.  "My job is to find and make people pay when they are in the Navy and Marines and commit a crime or if they commit a crime to a member of the Navy or Marines.  If a terrorism case comes with that, so be it.  If not, so be it.  The cases come as they come."

"The director was looking for people to help her with a terrorism case," she said.

"Look around my team.  They're busy enough with our real job.  That's the CIA's job.  Or the FBI's job.  Unless we run across it during a case, it's not our job.  If someone gives me a tip that it's going on, I'll stop it.  If we think we hear of one, we'll investigate it.  Going out to search for them, hunt them down, and eliminate targets is not an NCIS job.  That's a CIA job."

She nodded at that butt chewing.  "I'll tell her you said that."

"Do that.  Tell her to leave my team alone."

"She thinks Tony's ready for more responsibility."

"He was offered his own team five different times.  He decided not to take it.  That should say enough to her."

"Oh.  I didn't know that."

He smirked at her.  "Tony may seem like a goofball but all that is a persona he puts up, Ziva.  Not even Kate gets that deeply into him."  He stared her down again, making her shiver.  "Even the background I did on him didn't give me enough insight to break that persona for years."

"I'll try harder to make myself more useful."

"Just learn how to do the job, Ziva.  And quit trying to shoot and stab everyone who might not need it.  My team pulls our guns a lot but you make us look like cowboys."  He closed his eyes.  "Sleep."

"Yes, Gibbs."  She got comfortable and tried to sleep, going over that in her head.  She didn't like the position she was in.  She knew Jenny was breaking major rules having her working as an agent.  She had no idea why other than what she had noticed about her attraction to Gibbs.  She had to work harder to gain their trust it seemed.  Kate seemed nice but did she have hers?  No, probably not.  Women did things like talk about their boyfriends with their friends. McGee chatted with her but didn't share any personal details either.  Half of the things Tony had told her were false when she checked.  He was very good at making a cover story and blending in.  She had no idea where she stood with them but she realized she had made a few crucial missteps.  The director would not be pleased.  They'd have to talk when they got back.

***

Gibbs walked into his row, finding Sam in his chair.  "Why are you here, Sam?"  He pulled him up and sat down.

"Because one of the guys at Stanford said something that bothered me.  The local office said it was probably nothing."  Gibbs looked at him.  He handed over the tape.  "It's at the right spot."

He pulled out his headphones to listen to it then looked at Sam.  "Who told you it was probably nothing?"  He handed over their card with a grin.  "That one's in trouble then.  I'll get this to someone with sense in the local office.  Thanks, Sam."

"Welcome, Gibbs."  He leaned down.  "Got any ideas what to do about Buffy?  She's dating one of the idiots who think they hunt and is a macho bastard with an ego bigger than Dean's.  She's been calling off patrol and things.  Blatantly cut the other night by calling Faith in.  Not that it wasn't bad, but she could've handled it then went out.  We did."

Gibbs grimaced.  "Boot camp?"

"She's too big of a princess, boss," Tony said dryly from his desk.  "A few weeks ago she broke into Xander and Dean's place to sell their weapons on them because she didn't approve of them having them."

"Now and then she gets this 'only special people can help me' thing going on.  She did it to Xander back in high school for a bit.  Then graduation happened and it eased off.  Now it's back again.  Dad's tried.  Dean's tried.  Her mom and Rupert have both tried, together and singly.  We're pretty sure this guy's going to end up an abuser.  Faith pegged it, he's a slimebag.  It's ripping Xander up so it's ripping Dean up."

"The only thing I could think of is boot camp or talk to the other watchers."

"They hate her.  She's lived so long.  It won't pass on if she does.  It's going through Faith," he said at the look he got.  "The Council is brutal and evil.  They tried to take Dean out a few weeks back to get Xander to take him out."

"He good?"

"Yeah.  Dean got them down and Dad handled it while Dean went to guard Xander since he was at work."

"Shit," he muttered.  Sam nodded.  "Your dad was a Marine, right?"

"He was."

"Have him boot camp her.  Take her into the woods for training.  Get Giles to agree or go with you.  Have her get in touch with the essence that makes her special or whatever.  Then have him let go on her."

"Dad wanted to.  Her mom doesn't think it's necessary."

"If he hits her, what's she going to do?"

"After that Ted thing?"

Gibbs shuddered.  "Which means she'll be in jail."

"Oh, yeah."  He looked at him.  "You think he can?"

"I know he can.  I think it'll be important to scare the guy off first.  Then get her back in touch with what makes her special."

"I can suggest that.  Dad wanted to know about Dawn.  Glory showed up earlier looking for her key."

"It'd probably be better if she was down here.  I'm not sure how they'd take that."

"Xander's going to end up adopting her if Joyce gets any sicker.  He's already offered."

Jethro nodded at that.  "Why?"

"Joyce's brain tumor; the chemo is sapping her too much.  Her doctors said taking her off it is going to mean a higher chance of it coming back after they remove it.  Not taking her off can kill her.  They're waiting until it shrinks to remove it.  They're talking next month."

"Better and better, huh?"

"Well, it is the mouth of hell," he said dryly.

"Good point.  Why would Xander adopt her?"

"She trusts Xander.  Has a huge crush on him from what Dean said.  He knows and *knows* her."

Gibbs nodded.  "Have him talk to me in person before he signs on.  I want to do some damage control.  Make sure that's not a place she can reach since there'd be no one up there most of the time to take care of her and nothing like school for her."

"There is one.  It's actually a very good school.  I remember looking into it," he said with a grin.

"Fine.  Have him talk to me about that.  I want an up-to-the-minute update when he does.  We need to talk to a few people about whether or not she could get up there."

"Yes, Gibbs.  Any other orders?"

"Bring up your PE grade, Sam.  If you want into law school you have to basically be 4.0 all the time."

"I'm trying.  He hates me."

"Tough."

"Yes, Gibbs."  He grinned.  "Dad told me not to sweat it.  To sweat the important classes."

"It's competitive.  Every class is important," Tony told him.  Sam nodded at that wisdom.  "It could come down to one open spot.  You versus some other guy."

"I know.  Thanks, guys.  I'll tell them.   Oh, Ducky said Healer Carson's fine.  He just wrote."  He skipped down to talk to Ducky then head back there.

Tony looked at Ziva.  "Sam's like an in-law in a lot of ways.  He's on a full ride scholarship to an Ivy League college heading for law school."

"That's impressive.  He can't keep a gym grade up?  Too geekly?"

"The word is geeky, and no, he's taking fencing but the teacher hates his form," McGee said.  He looked at her.  "He's doing fine otherwise.  He's taking freshman mandatories."

"History and lit classes to nap through," Tony said with fond remembrance.

"You got A's in both, DiNozzo."

"I was dating a TA, boss.  She helped me study for that and anatomy."

Gibbs looked at him. "You dropped anatomy."

"Yeah, we broke up.  My next one was too ticklish to let me find the parts on her.  I learn best in a hands-on manner."

"Mind out of the gutter, DiNozzo," he sighed.  He tossed him the tape.  "Send that to the office closet to Palo Alto, going around SA Thompson."

"Yes, boss."  He looked that office up, finding it.  "What about if we go to the one that's a bit farther away, boss?  There's a good one there.  Stan's there."

Gibbs smirked.  Stan was his helper before Tony.  "That'll work."  Tony took the tape down to the lab to get her to send it on once it was in digital format, including that an agent had said it was nothing after hearing it.  But Gibbs said it was.  Gibbs looked at McGee.  "Outcome?"

"Guilty on all counts.  The other one is a mistrial and will be going on again in about a month.  The judge said it was a mistrial when the defendant, Airman Reeces, corrected someone on what sort of weapon it was."

"That sounds like a confession."

"The judge is one of the new ones," Kate said, giving him a look.  "How was yours?  We put the robbery ring we busted for stealing hubcaps on your desk."

He looked at it, signed it, then sent it on.  "We found who had done it."

"Good.  Congrats.  We have six more in next two weeks."  She rolled her chair over to hand it to Gibbs.  "Before you ask, I only turned it.  The director wanted us to wear heels.  I'm now suing the agency."  She rolled back.  "The ones you'll be called on are in purple for the case's name.  In blue are Tony's.  Red is mine.  McGee's in green.  Ziva's is in black.  The ones we're all being called in for are in crossed out."

He looked.  "Are they in backlog again?"

"Flu ran around there last month, boss," McGee said.  "They almost called in other judges from out of state."  Gibbs shook his head, putting it somewhere he could see it.  "Boss, a question was raised."  Gibbs looked at him.  He sent him the memo, staring at him until he looked then laughed.  "What do you want us to do about that?"

"Ignore it.  Abby too."

"She is, boss.  She had a panic attack at the polyester and had to be taken out by ambulance.  They cut it off her and she's not buying any others.  Her doctor gave her an excuse.  What do you want *us* to do about it?"

"Ignore it, McGee.  We can't be effective dressed up like FBI clones."  He looked at Kate.  "This is why you turned your ankle?"

"Yeah.  She wanted me to wear them in the field on a body call.  Miller has it."

"Good.  You okay?"

"Ducky said it was only twisted.  I've got an ice pack and a paper box down there."

"Go home, Kate."

"She said I couldn't.  That was added to my legal complaint."  She got back to work.  "Fornell was looking for you yesterday but he called back this morning to say never mind."

"Thank you for letting me know.  Any other messages?"

"On Tony's desk.  You know he's your secretary," she said dryly.  Gibbs gave her a dirty look but grabbed them to look over.  He frowned at one.  "That's what Fornell said.  Then he called back to say never mind later on."  He found that one, balling them both up to toss out.  Then he put them through the shredder when he spotted the director.  Most of the rest got shredded too.  Two he kept and put into his shirt pocket.  She pulled her box out and put the ice pack onto it again.  She winced.  "I hate the ice packs when they drip."

"Me too," McGee said.  He rubbed his shoulder.  Gibbs gave him a pointed look.  "I tried to catch her, boss.  Small strain, it's nearly time for more tylenol."

"Ducky said what?"

"Small strain, tylenol every six."

"Good.  Take some now."  He did that and got back to work.  "Officer David, did you do your report before we left?"

"I'm proofreading it now, Gibbs."  She sent it over a few minutes later.

He looked then at her.  "English, Ziva?"  She grimaced and translated it.  He went over it to correct it then sent it to Kate.  "Proofread for her."

"Sure.  I had plenty of english classes."  She got to work on that.

"Surely you have more work to do than that?" the director asked.

"Not while grounded to my desk," Kate said.  She glared at her.  Then she went back to work.  "Miller, the director thinks we need more work.  Need help on that case you took over?" she called.

"You do more work than the rest of us," someone called back.  "Play some solitaire, Todd."

"We have it," Miller said, coming around the divider.  "It's nearly in the bag.  We're waiting on Abby to confirm what we suspect so we can talk to them."  Gibbs nodded.  "I have no idea why Kate was wearing heels in the field, Gibbs, but it was a bad tumble.  She fell down a hill."

"It is unprofessional," the director said.

"Then you hike in the woods with in heels, ma'am.  My team is going to be dressed reasonably so they don't get injured."  He looked at Gibbs.  "Trial bulletin just got updated ten minutes ago."  Gibbs got into it and moaned.  "Pity you guys do more work, Gibbs."  He went back to his desk to call Abby.  She had something for them but not everything.  He wasn't going to pounce until she had everything.

Gibbs printed it out for each team member, letting DiNozzo hand them out since he was walking back.  "New trials."

He looked.  "That conflicts for me with a homicide."  He settled in to call.  "This is DiNozzo at NCIS.  You scheduled the auto theft case for Tuesday.  I'm due in to testify all week long on a homicide and three other cases.  Yes, I'm sure.  I'm looking at the bulletin.  Kate, they took off Peters."

"That's nice of them.  He must've pleaded for mercy in prison."  She marked it out on her schedule.  "Tell whoever that they conflicted me with Thomas and Jurger."

"Agent Todd said she's conflicted with Thomas and Jurger.  Against each other?"

"Against Simmons, which was a rape if I remember right.  It'll take longer."

"Against a rape case," Tony told her.  He smiled, leaning back.  "We do seem to do a lot of work, yes.  Please do.  Let us know as soon as you know so we can make arrangements for call outs and clothes.  Because if we don't, we can be on call for cases and have to be here to work it instead of there to testify.  I've pulled many overnights," he told her seriously.  "All the time.  At least four a month for Gibbs.  He said so."  He smirked at the boss.  "She said that's not legal by work regs, boss."

"The case needed it."

"He said the case needed it, take it up with the people who kidnap, rape, and murder."  He made notes.  "That won't work either.  I've got Happiness?  Kate, Happiness?"

"Drug ring on Quantinco."

"Oh, the drug ring at Quantico.  That was the name of their new designer drug."  She moaned and looked at the bulletin then searched their names.  She let out a vicious set of swears, making him laugh.  "Think how we feel.  Please do and let us know.  The only one you might get is Officer David and I'm not sure if she's testified in the past.  Ziva, have you been a witness before?"

"Only on internal matters."

"Only on internal matters.  Yeah, she'll need prepped.  That was one of her first cases."  The desk phone rang.  "Get back with me.  Our batphone just rang.  Thank you."  He hung up and grabbed his gear.  "Later, Kate.  We'll call when we have an ID."

Gibbs hung up.  He tossed McGee the keys.  "Get the truck.  We have a kidnaping."  He nodded, going to do that.  He grabbed his own gear.  "Kate, rest that.  We'll send you what we have as we have it."  He walked off, Tony and Ziva right behind him.  "DiNozzo, try not to scare the kid this time, okay?"

"I'll try, boss, but I don't get along well with kids.  Aren't you glad I don't have any?"  He grinned at him.  "How old?"

"Newborn taken from his room.  There's three other kids in the house.  One who was in the same room sleeping."

"So we start with a top-to-bottom of the house," Tony said.  Gibbs nodded, looking unhappy.   "If we can find her, boss, we will."

"I know."  He got in to drive.  McGee got the middle seat.  Tony got shotgun.  Ziva got to sit in the back.  He pulled them out and turned on the lights, heading out to handle the new case.

Kate took the ice off and put it back into the bag she had it in.  The director scowled.  "Fifteen on and forty-five off, director.  Those are doctor's orders.  Have fun with my lawyer."  She stomped off.  Kate got to work pulling up the databases she'd need.  Including a BOLO form in case they got lucky.  Gibbs called ten minutes later to have her start.  Her search turned up odd.  She called back.  "Gibbs, there's no birth certificate filed in that name.  I checked the parents, they only have three listed."  She read off the names.  He made an inquisitive noise.  "I don't see anything in his file either to say he updated it to show another dependent.  He's in the field.  Want me to call his CO?"  She smiled.  "Got it."  She called.  "This is NCIS Agent Todd.  Yes, on Gibbs' team.  We need Corporal Slisshinger to head home.  His wife reported their newborn child was kidnaped.  Gibbs is there waiting on him.  Please."  She hung up.  The corporal would get it straightened out or tell him what was going on so they could search.  She got back to work on the family's background.  McGee's phone could get updates.

***

Xander waved as Buffy was driven off by John.  "It's hard but she needed it, Joyce," he said, giving her a squeeze around the shoulders.

"I know."  She looked at him.  "When will Jethro know?"

"We're talking about it this weekend."

"If... If something happens I've already signed them, Xander."  She stroked his cheek.  "Just in case."

"Thank you for trusting me, Joyce."  He gave her a real hug.  She let go and cried.  She hadn't been able to with the girls watching her.  Dawn was at the mall with friends and Buffy was being straightened out.  "C'mon.  Let's go have cocoa."  She smiled at that, taking him inside.  He set her down and made it for her, coming back to let her vent.  She needed to let it out before it ate her.

***

John stopped the car at the cabin, ignoring Buffy's grimace of distaste.  "We're not here to make it House Beautiful, Summers.  We're here to keep you from killing the creep."  He walked her inside, sitting her down.  He tossed something down to her, making her catch it.  "That is Xander's."

"Why?"  She touched it, it felt like...  It felt like Faith?  "It's a slayer's weapon?"

"It holds part of the essence of the First Slayer."  She gaped, moving to her knees.  "The Council took it from him at one point in time and put some in there.  Xander got those from Stella when he became an adult."  She touched it, staring at the blade.  "He tries very hard not to use them."

"It's got a spot of rust."

"Has since he got it back.  He didn't want to sharpen it off and ruin the curve.  He can't find the right shape of sharpening stone at the moment."  He handed it to her.  It was Xander's birthday present from him next month.

"What do I do with this?"

"You're going to learn.  Slayers have to be able to deal with their own weapons."

"We have watchers for that."

"Then what dd Faith do when hers was killed and she had to flee across the country to get to Sunnydale?"

She slumped.  "I'm sucking again, aren't I?"

"Yes.  A lot."  He looked down at her.  "We're here to boot camp your ass, young lady.  When I'm done with you, you will appreciate all the slayers and all their helpers, watchers and not, and you will not be spoiled.  Because your mother doesn't need to worry about you dying and her dying."  She sniffled at that.  "Everyone is mortal, Buffy.  Most of the girls didn't even know theirs.  Like Kendra."

She nodded.  "I'm spoiled."  She looked up at him.  "I was before I was called."

"Now you've got a destiny.   Fight against it to last longer.  That's why we're here.  That and so Dean doesn't smack your head off your shoulders for putting Xander down again."

She looked up at him.  "You'll help me?"

He nodded.  "I will.  It won't be pretty and nice.  I only know one way and it's the Marine way, Buffy."

"If that's what it takes."

"Good.  We'll start tomorrow.  Today, you're going to commune with the essence in that blade.  You're going to be worthy of her sacrifice."

"Yes, I should be."  She settled in to meditate with it in her hands.  John could show her how to sharpen it for Xander later.  Maybe it was why all the slayers liked him enough to let him help them?  No, that was a wrong thought.  He helped because he wanted to help and they were lucky to have his and everyone else's help.  Or else she'd be dead.  No one would've been with her mom through this tumor problem she was having.  She slumped.  "What about Mom?  Who's watching my mom?"

"Xander is.  He's going to camp on her couch whenever he can.  They've got papers to take Dawn if necessary.  He's going to talk to Jethro this weekend."

She nodded.  "That's good.  Dawn needs to be safe."  She went back to fondling the blade, letting it comfort her.  She went into the meditation mindset Giles had taught her.  She could talk to the First Slayer.  Find out more about what a slayer was and should be from that.

John brought in their supplies while she worked it out.  She had to work it out or she'd die.

***

Xander and Dawn sat down with Jethro and a few of the advisors they had from the realm.  "Guys, this is Dawn Summers."

"Relation to your friend Buffy?" one asked.

Xander nodded.  "Her little sister.  Her mother's very ill.  She's got a brain tumor."  That got a nod.  "Joyce asked me to adopt Dawn.  There's no telling when Buffy might be overwhelmed on patrol or die from an attack.  She wanted her safer.  Especially with Glory there."

The local magic teacher had been included and looked at Dawn.  "There's a good reason for her to come to Sunnydale."

"There is," Xander agreed.  He looked at Dawn.  He looked at Jethro.

"They will not tell her or I will kill them myself, Xander."

"Dawn knows and has contact with the key."

"More than that," the teacher said.

"I am the key," Dawn agreed quietly, glancing around.  "The last time we talked about her, she showed up.  I don't want to do that to here."

"We understand, Dawn," Jethro said.  "That's one of my big worries too.  Can she get up here?" he asked the teacher.

"Xander asked me to look up the matter and to ask around.  As far as we know she is bound by the powers of her host.  He is human and not gifted in any magical means or way.  The significant date that she needs Dawn for is fairly wide."

"So she can't get up here or bother us?" Jethro asked.

"No.  Not as far as I can tell."

Dawn slumped.  "That's one huge worry out of the way."  Xander stroked her back.  "How was Mommy?"

"She's okay.  They switched her medicine today.  Dean drove her and is staying with her until we get back."

She nodded.  "That's nice of him."

"Hey, Dean's mine.  He cares for what I care for."  She nodded, smiling some.  "Sam's going to gush her to death the next time he comes down when he takes his turn fussing over her."

She smiled.  "I like Sam.  Sam's a nice guy.  Faith needs a good guy like Sam to keep her on the good side."  Xander nodded.

"The problem is one that I'm willing to take suggestions on.  I know some won't like Xander adopting a human child.  Even though he has said that the family is like his own many times in public when he found demons threatening Buffy's home."

"That sets a good precedent," his advisor said.  Charlie Epps walked in.  "Who're you?"

"Fornell's sorcerer.  What's up, Epps?"

"Small problem in LA."  Dawn stiffened, looking at him.  "Hi, Charlie Epps."

"My mom?"

"Who?"

"Buffy's mom.  This is Dawn, her little sister."

"I didn't know she had one.  No, not your mother, Dawn."  She relaxed and slumped against Xander's side.  "Angel and his crew have been bothered by some little Jawa looking things?"

"Glory's hench toadies," Xander told him.

"Glory?"  He wrote out the name and handed it over.  "Oh, dear."

"Oh, yeah," Dawn said dryly.  "After me."

Charlie looked at her then at Jethro.  "Let me tell Fornell if you need help.  He's having a high blood pressure day.  Emily nearly got taken by a prior case that wanted him to look into things."

"He need help?"

"No, he had him hunted down and eliminated as a threat once he made sure Em was safe."  He smiled.  "He's super protective of her.  More so than Don is of me or Dean is of Xander."

"Or Xander is of Dean because he kicked demon hiney when one demon tried to hit on Dean because she was drunk," Dawn quipped.

Jethro looked at Xander.  "Why?"

"She was pawing my mate!  She's lucky she still has paws."

"Fine."  He looked at Charlie.  "Let Angel know.  Feed Xander anything you find out."  That got a nod and a bow, then he left.

"Thank you," she called after him.  She looked at Jethro.  "Mom said it's a common courtesy and people like you more when you're polite."

"I have Tony for polite, Dawn."

"Oh.  Are you gay too?"

"In our past life I had one of each.  Tony's a good administrator."

"That's kinda cool."  She rested against Xander's side again.  "Is there a school up here?"

"There's a good school according to Sam."   He looked at his people.  "Do we think there's going to be more than a reaction to him adopting a human child?"

"Some but if the news of what she is gets out, some may panic," one of his advisors said.  "I think it would be safer if she went to a more isolated realm."

"That would make me an ambassador," Xander said.  They all shuddered at that.  "Her mother trusts me to adopt her.  To make sure nothing of the legacy of having a sister who is a slayer comes back to bite her on the ass on the way to becoming a woman her mother will appreciate.  It's me or Giles, guys.  If Joyce dies, I'm not sure he'll hold it together.  He's got a crush on her."  Dawn looked up at him.  "Why else would they get it on on top of a police car?"

"If that happens and Buffy dies, then he'll be devastated anyway.  My sister can fight a lot of things but not a goddess."

"She's not alone, Dawn.  Not like some of  the girls," Jethro reminded her.  He looked at the group.  "I know it's a problem or it will be for some.  This is the best for her and it might calm Xander down a bit.  Plus we do have the ability to save her life if we can hide her up here."

"Hide her out at the clan house.  No one knows where the camp is," Xander said.  "Except family.  Send two guards with her so I'm with her sister at the battle?"

"That might work," he agreed.  He looked around.  "Any dissent?  Any alternate ideas?"

"What about sending her to Fornell.  He has a real palace with servants who can help her since she is clearly not a child from a poorer family.  She's never known real hardship."

"You mean beyond worrying about my sister coming home every night?  The divorce they gave me memories of?  I'm a lot tougher than I look.  I'm only fourteen but all Summers women are tough from birth."

"Then she's about average for girls her age," the teacher agreed.  "And boys as well.  Xander turned into a royal snot for about six months while his father was gone."

"He's the one who put me in charge of my own unit," Xander said dryly.

"Thankfully you learned how to rule graciously after the first two fights with them," Gibbs said.  "Dawn, what do you want?"

"I want the bitch to go away and my mom to be okay.  I apparently can't have either."

"Language," Xander and Jethro both snapped.  She shrank back some.

Xander sighed, giving her a hug.  "We all want your mom to be okay.  I'd love for the ugly thing to take her Gucci and go.  I can do the second but I can't make sure of the first.  That's why we need to handle plans now.  If we wait and don't plan, it'll be too painful and the state will get into it."

"I know.  Still sucks."

"Yes it does," Jethro agreed.  "To all parties involved.  I'm sure your mom doesn't want to leave you."  She shook her head.  "Then we'll handle it."  He looked around.  "His realm has more portals than this one does."  He heard someone stomping and looked out the door.  "Xander, tell me that isn't?" he said.

Xander looked.  Then nodded.  "Move."  Dawn went to hide where he pointed.  Xander stood up to get in her face.  "How did you get up here?"  She tried to shove him but he shoved back.  "You're in my realm now, bitch.  What do you want?"

"My key, what else would I want?"

"How did you get up here?" Jethro demanded, standing up.

"Don't worry about it.  The one in my way isn't anymore."  Xander growled and attacked.  She batted him down.  He got up and pulled his scythe, attacking again.   "I'm a goddess, don't you get it?" she sneered.  She screamed as her dress was cut into.  "Do you know how hard it was for my minions to steal this!" she shouted, attacking him for real.

Faith came rushing in with guards.  "No wonder!"  She dove into the fight.

"Oh, please!  A slayer?" she sneered.

"Yeah, the tougher one."  She kicked her back into a wall.  She and Xander attacked as a unit, making her shriek before pulling up magic.

Dawn rushed out to the teacher, grabbing his hand.  "Let me help."

"Stay still and concentrate, young lady."  He summoned his own students then got to work pulling up power to blast her off this plane.  She went through a wall.  Then Faith got her through another one.  She wobbled.  "Get her in her other form!" he shouted.  Xander attacked and she wobbled forms again.  Faith kicked her hard, breaking most of the ribs on one side.  This time she wobbled for longer.  Faith got her while in man form, making her scream and bleed.  She slowly died.  Xander fell to his knees over her, panting hard.  He got free of Dawn and went to check on them.  "Children."

"We'll survive," Faith said, helping Xander to his feet.  He wobbled, blinking at her.  "Hey, X.  You good?"

"Dean?  Dean!"  He tried to run but nearly slammed into a wall.

"Let me," Jethro ordered.  He went to find Dean.  He found the remains of their apartment.  Dean was under a couch.  "Dean?"  Dean moaned.  He uncovered him, checking him over.  He called back through the portal.  "Get a healer, now!  Dean needs one too."  Guards came to help him carry him back on the board they carried through.  The healers converged on the three of them.  Dawn quietly went to a corner to sob.  Jethro heard her and went to soothe her.  He squatted down in front of her.  "They're fine, Dawn."  She looked at him, blinking the tears away.  He wiped some off.  "They're fine.  They're both very strong.  Faith's mostly winded and bruised."  Dawn nodded, gulping air.  "C'mon.  You can watch as long as you're not in the way."  She shook her head quickly.  "You sure?"

"I don't like the sight of blood.  It makes me sick."

"Okay."  He patted her on the head.  "Go down this hall to the right then down three floors to open up Xander's suite, all right?  He'll be in bed for a while."  She nodded, wiping her tears on the way to do that.

John came stomping in.  "What happened?"

"Glory found a portal up here," Jethro told him.  "I found Dean pinned under their couch, pretty banged up.  Xander and Faith went after her with some of the guards."  Dawn came back.  "Dawn, stay with John for now?"  She nodded, snuggling into his side, not looking at the bodies on the table.  "She helped.  She let the teacher draw off her."

"That's good thinking, Dawn."

"Still making me sick," she muttered.

"I know, princess."

"Am not!" she complained.

He smirked.  "You have how many clothes?"

"Less than Buffy."

"I just got done fixing her."

"Mommy?  If Dean was at home, where's Mom?"

"Dean called us to come back.  They did some bloodwork.  She's a bit anemic so they're keeping her overnight.  The doctor said it happens to cancer patients all the time.  The chemo strips it out of them."  She wobbled, staring at him.  "She'll be fine.  Since she's in, they're doing another CT tonight to check the progress.  The new medicine went okay.  She didn't get half as sick this time from what Dean told Buffy."  She relaxed.  "She just needs some red meat and dark vegetables."

"Can we bring her dinner?  Or I mean if everyone's all right?"

"If not, we can make her a huge one for when she gets home.  Stuff to tempt her to eat.  The chemo making her sick is keeping her from eating, which is why she's anemic."

She nodded.  "I know how to do that.  She always eats whatever I fix her."

"Then let's fix her a huge salad with stuff to make her nibble."  She nodded at that.  "Good girl."  He gave her a squeeze.  "How's my son?" he called.

"Fine," one of the healers called. "Bruised and banged up.  His mate is worse."

"Can I help?" Dawn asked. "I have no idea how."

The teacher looked at her.  "No.  Healing takes years to learn."

"Willow read her first one out of the book."

"Miss Rosenburg also does many dangerous spells that are tainting her toward the dark side." She pouted.  "If you aren't careful healing spells can turn into damaging spells.  We will handle it."

John walked her off.  "Let's check on Xander's room."

"I turned down the blankets already."

"Good thinking.  Let's stock it with some water and juice for them.  That way they don't have to whine when they're thirsty.  I doubt they're going to be moving for a while."

"Sure."  She went to the kitchen to get that stuff and bring it down there.  As long as she could help, she wouldn't have to think.  She called Sam.  "It's Dawn.  They said Faith's okay.  Glory's gone.  They took her on when she showed up here to take me.  But the healers said she's fine.  So are Dean and Xander.  I think all the guards are too.  I'll ask."  She hung up and went back to look in on them.  "I called Sam to tell him she's probably okay.  Are the guards okay too?"

"They'll be fine," Jethro said.  "If not, we'll let Sam know too."

"Okay.  Should I make up more beds?  Like Faith's bed?"

"That way by two halls then down to the left. The blue door," John said with a point.  "Turn it down and give her some juice and stuff so Sammy can fuss."  She nodded, going to do that.  She made a wrong turn into a very masculine room but she found it a minute later.  It smelled like Sam.  She put the juices in and turned down the bed, rushing over to let the healers in.  "This one?"

"This one," he agreed.  They put her into the bed, covering her up.  "Can you sit with her until her mate gets here or would you rather be with your future guardian?"

"Whichever one needs me."

"John is fussing over Dean at the moment."

"Then I'll split my time.  No one can fuss as well as a Summers woman.  Mommy even fussed over the vampires who helped my sister by making them cocoa to talk to them."

"Your mother fed vampires cocoa?" he demanded.

"Yeah.  She made Spike cocoa so he could talk about Druscilla because he missed her when he showed up last time.  I think she gave Angel the shovel talk over cocoa too."

He shook his head.  "It's the slaying, isn't it?"

"Very."  She tucked Faith in, fussing over her until Sam ran in.  "There you go."  She patted him.  "The healer's still giving me funny looks."  He smiled and gave her a hug so she went to check on the boys.  She shoved John out of her way, climbing onto the bed to fuss over pillows and blankets.  She put a straw into a juice, making Xander and Dean sip from it.  "I'm so happy you two are okay."  She gave them squishing hugs then sat up to give them more juice.  "I'm going to make Mommy proud by how I fuss over you two."

"I hate fussing," Dean mumbled.

"Tough noogies."  She fed him more juice.  Then she got off the bed and hiked back to the kitchen to get them some soup or something to eat.  "Hi, Stella."  She moved around her, warming stuff up then leaving again.

Stella frowned.  "How did she know who I am?"

Jethro leaned in.  "No idea.  I'm assuming Dawn startled you?"

"Young, brunette, fashionable?"

"Dawn."

"Buffy's sister?"  Jethro nodded.  "Okay then."  She handed him some coffee.  "We got told there was a mass meeting."

"We've got to figure out how to seal the hell goddess the kids and guards killed so she can't get out and try it again."

Stella blinked.  "Back up farther than that for the peanut gallery?"

"Glory showed up for Dawn."

She gaped, then nodded slowly, sucking back the spit that nearly came out.  "Yeah.  Okay."  She took her tea to the throne room to join him.  "Any of the guards not all right?" she called into the room they were working in.

"No, priestess.  They'll all live," the head guard reported.

"Good."  She went to find the girl.  "Dawn, some of the guards don't have anyone to fuss over them."  She beamed and went to help them too.

"Thank you," Dean mouthed.

She smiled.  "Girls like Dawn fuss."  She left.  The guard captain was trying to stop her but Dawn was giving him a long lecture on how wounded soldiers should be fussed over and treated well, especially since they had jumped in to save her life.  She finally stomped a foot then glared and stomped off to fuss anyway.  The guard captain looked at Jethro, who waved it off.

"If all GI's got fussing like that, we'd never leave the hospital," Mac said as he walked in.  "Dawn, right?"

"I am," she said.  She looked at one, hugging him.  "Thank you.  You protected me better than Buffy does sometimes."  She got back to fussing over his bandages and making sure he had some water to drink.  They got moved back to their barracks.  She looked at Jethro.  "Please?"

"You can fuss over anyone who's still in bed tomorrow, Dawn.  We'll let you cook for them tonight.  They'll appreciate that."

"Ohmygod, I think you're cool at the moment.  You understand."  She gave him a hug then went to look in the kitchen.  "There's no food!" she shouted.  "Well, no matter.  Xander won't need what's in his cabinets.  Mommy stocked it and I doubt Glory went into them to look for me."  She stomped back that way, one of the guards following her.  She grabbed the wheeled cart Xander used for hauling laundry to the laundromat.  She could stack that thing full and it'd be fine.  She emptied his cabinets and fridge, then went to make a call-in order for a few things they didn't have.  It got delivered within minutes for a tip from Xander's wallet since it was on Giles' credit card.  Then she dragged the wheeled cart back through the portal to head back to the kitchen.  If others gave her an odd look, oh well!  She was a teenager and her word was going to be law in this matter.  They would be fussed over!  She looked around then at the guard following her.  "Do you think they'd like peanut butter and bologna tonight?"

He shook his head.  "We don't usually eat those together, miss."

"Oh.  It's really good; you should try it."  She got to work cooking real food like her mother would, plus special meals for Dean, Faith, and Xander.  They'd get pasta with pepperoni, cheese, and hot peppers.  Plus a side of grilled cheese.  She handed him a tray.  "We're bringing these to Dean and Xander's room."  He nodded, carrying with her.  She walked in and moved John out of the way with a hip shove, climbing up to put the trays across their laps.  "There you go," she said, taking the other one to put on Dean's lap.  She kissed them both on the forehead.  "Eat if you can, guys.  You need it to get better and I want you better.  Better means I can nag you guys."  She gave them a pouty look.  "Please?"

"It looks good, Dawn," Xander said.  She beamed and climbed off the far side of the bed then walked off with the guard following behind her.  Xander waited until she was out of hearing.  "We're going to need to sedate her later," he said quietly.

"I heard that!  I can fuss worse, Mister."

"No, this is good," Dean said.  "I feel really spoiled and special and thanked, Dawn."  She came back to give him a hug then made him eat a pepper before leaving.  "It's not bad.  Good sauce."  He dug in.  Xander handed over his peppers too.  "You sure?"

"I don't think I'm up to crapping fire tonight."  He dug into the rest.  Dawn would be checking and might even smell their breath if they didn't eat it.  It was good.  They were hungry after earlier.

Dawn walked into Faith's room, handing Sam the tray she had carried.  "Here you go, for Faith when she wakes up.  She needs food to feel better.  Mommy does."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it, Dawn."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Thank you for fussing for me."

She beamed.  "You're welcome.  Need anything else?"

"Not yet.  Maybe later.  We'll conspire later to give her a good dessert and stuff."

She gave him a hug.  "I stole Xander's ice cream and all the sundae stuff plus the bananas.  We can make them sundaes."

"She'll love that."  She beamed and bounced out.  He put the food down on the bedside table, going back to his own fussing.  She had gotten really hurt!  That wasn't good of her.  He'd have to fuss more so she'd get hurt less.  It's a plan that seemed to work for Dean and Xander.

The guard stopped her from going into the kitchen.  "Horatio and Mac wanted to meet you, Dawn."  She went that way.  "Her sister wasn't a steamroller.  I wonder if it comes from their mother," he mused quietly.   He followed.  The girl would get into trouble if they didn't watch her.  Xander and Faith had.

She curtseyed properly.  "Thank you for letting me fuss, Jethro.  It's important they feel thanked for helping me with that."

"Not a problem, Dawn.  The boys need it since they're both injured and I know Sam won't think about eating anything until she has."

"That's why I made her a triple sized plate.  Because slayers eat a lot but she'll make him eat the rest.  Or I can make more.  Do you believe they don't eat peanut butter and bologna around here?  It's really good."

"I've never had that combination myself," Horatio said.  "I'll have to split one with my nephew."  She smiled.  "Miss Summers, correct?"

"Yup, sure am.  Dawn."  She held out a hand.  "You are?"

"Horatio.  In my current life, Horatio Caine, Miami-Dade PD."

"Ohmygod, you have one of the coolest cities in the world.  Not a lot of brain trust sites but a lot of pretty people.  Right behind New York and LA from what the news mags say."

"We do," he agreed with a pause for decoding the babble.  Yes, she could have naturally been Dean and Xander's child.

"Calm down," Danny said.  "I can't decipher babbling.  I usta hafta cover Xander's mouth when he was little."

She snorted.  "Did that work?  It didn't for Mommy."

"Now and then we had to make him repeat it a few times," Mac assured her.  "I'm Mac, this is Danny, Don, and Stella."

"How did you know me?" Stella asked.

"Xander described you perfectly, down to the curly hair that made him think straight guy thoughts."  Stella blushed at that.  "You had to be Stella.  He said you're the only woman in the group."

"There's a former mother hen in Miami who was sent back due to the same curse," Horatio told her.  "Alexx hasn't been told they're injured.  Xander tried to hide from her last time."

She snorted, waving a hand around.  "He will not and cannot hide from me.   I'll make Buffy or Willow track him down."  She smiled, straightening up some.  "Want me to make dinner for you guys too?  And should I make dinner for the guards now?"

"Their guard commander said most are on soup tonight.  Make them a good lunch tomorrow," Mac said.

"I can do that.  Because they had Xander syndrome and it saved me from the nasty, skanky hell goddess who used to show up not wearing panties to try to find me in Giles' shop.  She didn't even look good in the outfits she chose!  I mean, hello!  What sort of *goddess* can't shop!  Even my sister can shop.  Mom taught her very well."

Stella nodded.  "That's true.  It's a pitiful goddess who can't shop.  I can.  You obviously can."  The girl beamed at that compliment.  "Should we tell anyone?"

"I told Buffy's cellphone," John said as he walked in with the trays.  "They said thank you, Dawn.  It helped them take a good nap."

"They need it.  They got all banged up for me.  Put them in there and I'll wash dishes in a minute."  He did that.  "Was Buffy's phone off or just her pouting?"

"I had her doing katas in the woods.  She went home to fuss over Giles for a bit."

"That's fine.  Giles needs it too because he'll be worried."

"I tried the Magic Box.  Anya squeaked and hung up on me."  He came back out.   "Let me check on Faith."

"I made her a triple plate so she could make Sam eat some too," she told him.

"That's good of you, Dawn.  Some day you'll make an excellent fussy mother."  She beamed.  "Just like yours."

"I'm not sure if I can have cocoa with the vamps like my mom does when they need it.  But I guess if they're souled or in pain or chipped like Spike is it'd be okay."

John shook his head.  "Don't make me start on Spike, Dawn."  She huffed.  "He's still dangerous and evil."

"So?  He's less evil than Buffy with PMS and no chocolate.  Or Willow, who accidentally turned someone into chocolate and started to nibble on an ear but Tara made her put it back and then change the poor guy back.  He had to be walked off by my sister because he was crying."

"I'd cry too if a cannibal witch was attacking me," Tony said.  John walked off shaking his head.  The magical teacher came back.  "How do we trap her?"

"We bury her body and keep it sealed.  She had to be summoned to be let go."

"We can do that," Jethro agreed.  "The bottom of the prism mine good enough?"

"Quite.  Make sure she's not uncovered next millennia.  She can be called back then."  That got a nod and the guards went to do it when Jethro waved.  He looked at Dawn.  "You have a small gift on your own."  She nodded.  "You will be training with an appropriate teacher."

"Willow?"

"I said appropriate, child.  Not one who makes major mistakes.  Like will spells."

"Okay.  You?"

"Me or someone I've taught who I trust.  Lord Xander would agree if he was awake."  He looked at the group.  "We must find a way to keep the hellmouth from infecting the boy again.  He's nearly as bad off as he was the last time I drained him."

"I doubt you could get him to give up the town," Jethro said.

Dawn nodded.  "Not while my sister's alive and the town needs him."

"What about more vacation time off it?" Mac suggested.  "Letting him go out to hunt with Dean more often."

"He's got to work to pay for the apartment," Dawn said.

"Good point," Horatio said, considering it.  "I'd rather he was safer and it seems to be safer to hunt with Dean than to hunt in Sunnydale."

"Perhaps we could switch slayers?"

"Sam's living up in Palo Alto to go to Stanford.  That's a good few hours away," Dawn said.  "Plus Faith had a bad upbringing, like Xander did.  She needs her stability to make sure she's okay and on track."  They all stared at her.  "Faith had the same dark streak Xander has and they both show it now and then by going wild on a hunt in anger or frustration."  That got a nod from Jethro.  "Sam balanced that out for her and lets her gather her own team without having to deal with Willow.  Xander would do it with her, not a problem, he'd jump at it probably, but she needs her own team. Sam's being her watcher and backup."

"So if we could gather her own team like another witch and whoever it'd probably help?" Stella asked.

"Could.  I don't know how Faith would feel about that."

"That's a good point to know," Jethro said.  He looked at Mac, who looked sad.  "It wasn't your fault the curse hit, Mac."

"I always knew there was something missing.  Claire tried to get me to find it."

"How would you have without memories?" Don asked.

"I know."

"You shouldn't feel that guilt," Horatio said.  "It wasn't your fault the curse hit and you did not know or place them in those families, Mac.  Even if you had been old enough, which you barely were, you couldn't have taken them from their families."  Mac looked at him.  "Would you have let Claire raise them while you were overseas on assignment?"

"No.  I would've done my best to be stateside if we had kids," he admitted.  Dawn gave him a hug.  "Thanks, Dawn."

"You're welcome.  Am I going to meet Claire?  She sounds nice."

He gave her a sad smile.  "She was in the Towers."  She gave him another hug, making him pat her.  "It's been a long time, Dawn."

"Still sucks and hurts, Mac.  You never get over grief like that."  She pulled back to look at him.   "Would she want you to mope?"

"No," he said with a bigger smile.  "She'd take a pillow to my head for moping."

"Good.  Then she was a sensible woman as well.  She obviously loved you if she stayed even while you were always overseas.  Sunnydale teaches that you have to live while you have it because any day you could be vamped or staked on your own stake."

"That's a good point.  Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She heard walking and looked.  "Faith, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I love the fussing, Little D, but ease off.  You're not your mother."

She huffed.  "Mommy would not be pleased with me if I didn't fuss and baby you for saving my life from that badly dressed psycho chick on mental crack."  Faith cackled.  "She was sucking sanity out of people.  Buffy found that out.  She'd dig her fingers into their heads and suck it out."

"Maybe they did it to B?" she teased.

Dawn snickered.  "No, she had bad boy syndrome again.  John was working with her."

"That's good.  Can I have that chair?"  Dawn got it for her then went to get them drinks.

"Make coffee, Dawn.  Jethro lives on the stuff," Tony called.  "How are you feeling, Faith?"

"Pretty darn good considering I got my ass handed to me."

"You took on a hell goddess," Jethro said.  "I don't expect you to be superhuman, Faith."

She spit at him.  "I'll be fine."

"Where's Sam?" Dawn asked as she came out with juice for her.  She went back to the kitchen.

"Cleaning up the bed."  She shifted, sipping her juice.  "Dawn, make normal coffee," she called.  Tony went to help the poor girl.  She let John taste her juice.  He shrugged, not knowing what it was either.

"It's the orange/papaya juice mom's been able to drink recently.  I stole it from Xander's fridge.  Since his apartment is totally trashed I figured I'd feed you guys up here."

"Sure.  That's cool," Faith agreed.  Sam walked in.  She let him have the juice to drink.

"Orange/papaya.  That carton you were giving strange looks to at the store."  He looked around.  "Dean and Xander?"

"Bed," John said.  "I'm going to pack up their place before the vampires get it."  That got a nod and he went to do that.

"Sam, you're wonderful, but get off," Faith said after another few minutes of fussing.  Sam pouted, gave her the dreaded puppy dog eyes and pouty face.  "No pouty face," she ordered.  He added more pitiful.  "That's not fair."

He grinned.  "I know.  You need fussed over.  Otherwise you're really hurt."

"Slayers heal," she reminded him, finishing her juice.  Dawn came out with it.  "Water please, Dawn?  That's a bit sweet for me."

"Sure," she said, kissing her on the head.  "Sam, anyone?"  Stella held out her glass.  Sam took some of his own.  She walked back in there, coming out with the coffee tray.  "Here we go.  Xander's special blend of coffee for tired construction workers.  I also brought his flavored creamers."  She let Jethro take the first one and pour regular coffee.  The others got what they wanted.  Tony took it to put on a table.  She pulled a chair to sit down.  "Now what?  Since the main emergency is gone thanks to them.  Would they like beans?  Like salad beans?"

"Have one of the guards watch you, he'll tell you if something's not going to work for them," Tony said.  He took a sip of his coffee, nodding.  "Good stuff."

Jethro sipped then looked in his cup.  "Why does it taste like chocolate mint?"

"Xander bought it, boss.  King sweet tooth," Tony reminded him.  He took another sip.  He reached back to grab the creamer.  "Here."  Gibbs added some with a head shake.  Tony put the creamer back and the rest drank theirs too.  "Do we see a problem if Xander has to adopt Dawn?"

"No," Jethro said.  "They said there wouldn't be a problem since it's over with.  Adopting the sister of a friend who needed you was very honorable and kept them from spawning anytime soon."  Dawn laughed.  "They weren't sure that egg would be sane."

"I'm not sure Xander is all the time since he's out of bed too."  Xander limped in.  "I raided your kitchen to save the stuff."

"That's fine, munchkin."  He patted her on the head, getting a soda then sitting down once she had moved.  He stretched his leg out.  "What're we doing with the body?"

"I'm all for posting her head as a trophy," Dawn offered.

Jethro looked at her.  "We haven't done that since the last realm war.  It's not considered polite, Dawn."

"Okay.  Just a personal opinion."  She looked at the teacher.  "Bury it?"

"Bury it where no one can get to it.  They're taking it to the bottom of the prism mines and back as far as they can.  With a warning planted with her.  It should keep her from being summoned back next time."

"That sounds like a plan," Xander agreed.  He took another drink, looking back as Dean wobbled in.  "You could've slept."

"I wasn't being mugged and smooshed.  It woke me up."  He looked at Faith, then at Xander.  Xander pulled him down onto his lap.  "I'm too heavy."

"Shut up.  If you're making me hurt I'll move you."  He shifted him to the unbruised side. "Now what?"

"John's packing up your stuff," Jethro said.

"You were overly tainted by the hellmouth again," the teacher told him.  "You must quit doing that."

Xander made a buzzer noise.  "I can't leave until it falls in or Buffy dies."

"It can make you more ill."

"I noticed that after I got back the last time.  Still not good of me since she needs my help."

"There is that," he admitted.  "You could hunt more often with your mate or stay up here more often."

"I can and will but I still have to be able to afford the rent on our future new place since I'm guessing ours was trashed?"  Jethro and Dean nodded.  "I'm sorry she found our portal."

"It happens," Horatio said.  "She was very determined to get Dawn."

"She didn't know she was the key," Xander said quietly.  "She found out one of Buffy's crew had it hidden.  I'm guessing she made the jump in logic to 'one of them is off realm so he must be hiding it from me'."

"That's even better," Jethro decided, finishing his coffee.  "Any normal coffee, Dawn?"

"Nope and I didn't find any in the cabinets either."

"We can retrieve some later if we need to," Horatio said.  He finished his own coffee.  It wasn't bad.  Xander grinned.  "Nice choice."

"It's good after a long day of pounding things.  We're rebuilding the old school."  Dawn gaped.  "On the same land.  Mostly with the same layout."  She moaned, covering her face.

"So they're going to fill in the rest of the hole then build overtop of it?" Faith asked.

"They can't sell it," Xander said.   "No money to buy new land."

"Hell," Sam muttered.

"Very," Xander agreed.  Someone stomped in.  "Um, you would be?"

"Internal Affairs in my department," Horatio said.  "Rick, did you need something?"

"Why do they have head fins?"

"Because they're like that," Jethro said.  "Federal Agent, hotshot.  Why the hell are you here?"

"Yelina thought he was missing.  Again.  She panicked when you weren't home."

"No, we're holding a meeting," Horatio said.  "About the clan I watch over's newest member since Xander is adopting Dawn if her mother gets too ill."  He pointed at her.  "You can tell Yelina that.  She'll ask me herself later."  Rick scowled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Xander looked at Horatio.  "Does he often give you the boyfriend scowl?"

"Yes," he said dryly.  "Without reason."

"Guards!" Faith called.  Two rushed in.  "He crossed through Horatio's portal.  He's upsetting Horatio and Sam's going to go off on him soon for interrupting his fussing.  Toss him back please?"  They picked the struggling guy up and carried him off.  "I'm too sore to be polite or diplomatic."

Xander patted her.  "They wanted me to take Dawn to a more protected realm, which would make me one."

Faith looked at him.  "You'd scare everyone into never fucking with us again, X.  Really you would."  He beamed at that compliment.

"Yes but they'd be too scared to help us if we needed allies," Mac said dryly.

"I'm polite enough when I want and need to be.  I'd make up for it," Dawn assured him.

"I'm sure you would," Mac said with a smile.   "You seem very nice and polite."  Buffy came out of the portal.  "John done?"

"Nearly."  She looked at Faith, then at Dean and Xander.  "Battling with Dawn up here?"

"The bitch came through Dean and Xan's portal," Faith said.  "Tossed Dean around.  X got into her face."

"Xander!" she shouted, glaring at him.  "You are not a slayer!  You can't do things like that!"

"Faith came up with guards to help me," Xander assured her.  "We got her."

She gaped.  "You did?" she asked Faith.  Faith drank her water, nodding some.  "Thank you."  She gave her a hug then Dean and Xander a hug no matter which of the three protested.  "Dawnie, are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  They have a magical teacher up here and I helped him by letting him suck some of the extra energy out of me so I don't bounce so much while I fuss over them and the guards who saved me."

Buffy smiled.  "Mom would be proud."

"I know.  How is she?"

"I called.  The CT showed improvement.  The new medicine made her feel better.  She's okay and they're making her take vitamins and trying something new to fight off the anemia.  They said they found a small issue that's not the tumor but it could be fixed when they went in to remove it next week."  She nodded, biting her lip.  "Hey, it's Mom, Dawnie.  She's just as tough as I am and as tough as you are."  That got a happier nod.  "We can fuss over her for *weeks* after the surgery.  Until she whines like Xander will be."

"She made us a very good thank you dinner," Xander told her.

"She learned it from Mom since I can't cook.  Probably won't ever be able to cook."  She shrugged.  "Anything I or Giles needs to know?"

"She's being buried with a warning somewhere no one should be able to find her," Tony told her.

"Okay."  She bounced off, going to tell him that.  She walked into the Magic Box a few minutes later.  "She tried to get Dawnie up on the head fin realm."  He stared at her.  "Xander, Faith, and Dean managed it with some guards.  Dawnie's fussing over them greatly.  They're all really heavily bruised but they're burying her somewhere no one should be able to find her and with a warning."

"That is excellent news," he said with a gentle smile.  "How did she get up there?"

"She heard somehow that Xander was off realm I guess.  She trashed their place.  That's probably how Dean got hurt.  Xander and Faith got her according to Dawn.  She's making them dinner and stuff."

"Then she's found a good group of people to help her if she should need it."  She beamed too.  "How is your mother?"

"They said she'll be okay.  The CT showed improvement."

"Even better."

She stared at him.  "You're not happy?"

"I am...I was contemplating a vacation back home during the slowdown this time."

"That's cool.  You're coming back, right?  Because John did the butt-kicking thing *really* well.  He told me why a slayer needs a watcher and I didn't realize I was ignoring your part of my duty."  She gave him a hug.  "I'm glad you're my watcher, Giles."  He patted her gently, relaxing into the hug.  She smiled up at him.  "I'll even let you ignore Xander's pleas when Dawn needs help school shopping instead of begging you to help her."

"I think I can be back long before then, Buffy."  She beamed and bounced off again.  "Where are you going now?"

"John chewed me a new one for not practicing.  I'm going to practice."

He smiled.  "Thank you, John Winchester," he whispered.

***

John stared at Faith later that night.  "How are you staying in practice?"

"Sam had me sign up for a class at the school.  It's a martial arts class to add to my already formidable skills he said."  She looked at him.  "Plus he had me find a job at a gym so I can stay in shape and help others get there because my body's the role model of a goddess according to him."

John smiled.  "I swear Dean taught him too well."

She punched him on the arm.  "Maybe but it's sweet.  It's also helpful.  Anytime I don't have clients I can join any class that's going on.  Recently I've had a few extra spaces around kickboxing and zumba class."  He frowned.  "It's part dance part exercise.  Helps tons in the club, which is our main hunting area in Palo Alto."

"Good.  It sounds like he's made good plans."

"You get B off her 'eww I'm sweaty' kick?"

"Yes.  We spent a delightful two weeks in the woods working on her training."  Faith cackled.  "She did good."

"Good.  You did bring him back his scythe, right?"

"I'm going to give it to him at the after-dinner meeting."

"He'll appreciate that."  She punched him on the arm.  "I'm going to go hide from Sam's fussing some more."

"If you can."  He watched her go hide.  It wasn't going to work.  Namely because Mac or Horatio would tell Sam where she was hiding. They were mean that way.  He could appreciate that sort of meanness.  He walked off, going to track her.  He found Xander trying to hide from Dawn but that wasn't going to work either.  He pointed him out to Horatio, who nodded he'd tell Dean.  He found Faith as he walked past her.  He pointed out her position to Mac, who nodded he'd alert Sam when he came looking.  John went to get the special scythe from his room, pulling out the silk wrapped bundle.  He opened it to look at then rewrapped it before he could touch it.  Xander would pout if he found any fingerprints but his own and Buffy's.  He carried it out to dinner, putting it behind his back.

Xander looked around before running in, grabbing a plate, then his scythe with a coo, and fleeing to the garden.

"She said thank you," John called after him, having to smile.  You had to smile.  The boy loved his weapon so much more than even Dean loved his.  Dean walked in and looked around, grabbing his own plate before going to hide in his own hidden area inside the castle.  "Who're they hiding from?"

"Dawn," Horatio said.  He handed John the bowl of potatoes.  "That his other scythe?"

"It was.  I was going to give it to him after dinner."

Sam walked Faith in and sat her down, sitting next to her.  "See, she's not fussing right now."

"Xander and Dean already grabbed food and ran," Mac said, handing her the meat.

"See, that's what we need to do," Faith told Sam.  Dawn came in pouting.  "We love you, D, but you fuss *so* bad.  Too bad for guys like us who aren't used to fussing.  I doubt Daddy fussed like you can.  Fussing like that is for girls like Buffy."

She stomped a foot.  "Doing good things means you get fussed over."

"Do you fuss over B when she saves the world?" Faith asked.

"I wasn't created the last time she saved the world.  But yes, I will be."

"Good!"  She smiled.  "Go fuss over the guards.  I've been trying to duck Sammy boy's fussing.  They don't have anyone to fuss over them."

"Fine," she sighed, going to fix them something good for dinner.

"They're on thin stuff tonight," Jethro reminded her.  She found soup mix and a huge pot, getting to work.  "Boil the water first.  It's got some natural bacteria that can make upset stomachs sick."  She did that then added the soup mix, stirring it until it was perfect.  She added more stuff to go with it then got one of the guards to help her carry it down there.  "She's a good girl."

"She's going to grow into one fussy mother some year," John told him.  "Just like her mother.  She's learned well at her mom's knee."

They all smiled at that.

Faith looked out toward the garden.  "Xan must be close.  I hear cooing and a complaint about Buffy's fingerprints."

They all laughed.  Xander was an original.

"How did you know there was a problem?" Stella asked Faith.

She shrugged.  "Twin bond?  That's how I knew he was in trouble when Dean's group helped him out."  She ate a bite of dinner then gulped her water.  "Peppers," she gasped, grabbing Sam's glass too.

Horatio poured her some.  "Rinse and spit, Faith."  She went to the sink to do that.  He checked his dinner.  "Who put jalepenos into the hamburger helper?"

"Dawn cooked," Stella said.

"Ah."  He handed her over the bread when she came back.  "Here."

"Thank you."  She got them both more to drink and prepared herself, mixing in bites of bread between.  It was still hot.  Sam kissed her temple.  "Thank you too."  He stole it and got her a hamburger, making her a happy slayer.  "You're great."  She dug in, eating hard.

Tony smiled.  "Don't like peppers?"

"Not my ethnic cuisine."   She ate another bite.  Dawn came back.  "Hey, D."

"Don't like peppers?"

"Not something I'm used to, D.  Sammy made me a hamburger."

"Way to go, Sammy," she said with a beaming smile.  "Good spoiling!"  She gave him a hug around the neck, then went to lean outside.  "Get your ass in here or no dessert!" she bellowed.  "I will lock up every single cookie, candy, and the ice cream!"

"No you won't," Jethro said.

"I will if he doesn't show up in the next two minutes."  Xander came back, giving her a pout.  She smiled, patting him on the cheek.  "Sit and eat."  He went to get seconds and eat them.  "Dean, you too!"

"We have our own stash!" Dean called from somewhere.

"I ate them last time I was up," Xander called.  "Or I'd still be hiding."

"I can teach you how to pick locks," Sam told him.  Xander smiled and nodded.  Dean trudged in, sitting down to get more dinner too.

"Good boys," Dawn said with a pat on their heads.  "Especially since there's pie."  She went to pull them out of the fridge, then the ice cream from the freezer.  They gulped their dinner and dug out huge slices and large scoops of ice cream, then went back to hiding.  "See, they would've missed that if they weren't being good."  She kissed Jethro's forehead.  "It's no- bake pie.  It's actually bought pie but no one really minds if I spruced it up, right?"  She bounced off, going to fuss over Xander's room.  He needed his sheets changed and his bed remade from the bleeding and ice packs leaking.

Jethro checked.  "No pickles or anything abnormal."

Don dove in first.  He needed pie.  The others got theirs afterward but Stella took ice cream instead.

Jethro looked around.  "Do we need another meeting?  Our director beeped a few hours ago."

"No," Stella said.  "It's handled."

"Good."  He finished up and went back to his house.  Tony followed, heading out to his car to go back to his apartment, still nibbling on the crust.  He put the portal on standby and went to work on his boat.  He found the director down there.  "You that bored?"

She looked up.  "Where were you?  I didn't hear a car until DiNozzo left."

He stared at her.  "It's my downtime, Director.  I don't have to answer anything  unless I'm breaking the law.  Which I'm not and you know that."  He took the sanding paper from her hand.  "You've shaved an inch too much off.  I'll have to replace that board."  He measured and went to cut a new one.

"What were you doing, Jethro?"

"Talking to some people."

"And the gray spot in your closet?"

He looked at her.  "You have a search warrant?"

"What you do directly impacts the agency, Jethro."

He snorted.  "I've been a senior agent longer than you've been with the agency, Jen."

"Exactly."

"Nothing I do on my off-hours is going to look bad on the agency."  He gave her a look.  "Unlike certain vendettas."  She glared back.  "What I do, I do with honor.  The same as I did as a Marine.  Now, anything else, Director?  Since you've searched my house without a warrant and are going to be up on charges tomorrow for breaking and entering?"

"I have a good reason.  One of my agents keeps disappearing with his senior agent."

"The normal opinion is that we're off having sex," he said dryly.  She gasped, staring at him.  "That's what half the floor thinks we do in our downtime anyway.  You haven't heard that rumor yet?"

"Are you?"

"No.  That is the most common assumption though.  Clearly you missed some lessons when I taught you how to reason out cases."  He cut into the board, blocking her out.  She stomped off after trying to get his attention again.   He laughed, shaking his head.  He did call Tony to warn him.  "DiNozzo, the director apparently searched my house for the reason we keep heading off.  I told her she missed the obvious conclusion.  Ah, found her?  That's good.  Did you have Officer David arrested?"  He smirked.  "Good."  He hung up and got back to work.  She had ruined that board.  His poor boat.  Having a woman touch her bones.

***

Tony strolled up to the cell, looking at the woman inside.  "Having a good time?"

"No," she sneered.

"Then next time, don't break into my apartment."  He walked off again, going to work.  "Boss," he said as he walked in.  "Officer David is going to be delayed getting here today."

"Why?"

"She hasn't been arraigned yet."  McGee's head popped up and gave him a horrified look.  "She broke into my apartment, Probie.  Yes, I had her arrested for it."  He sat down.  "She's due to be arraigned at nine or so.  I stopped in to check."

"That's fine.  She can come explain herself to me then."  He looked at Kate, who came trotting in.  "You're late."

"The director had me on the phone, Gibbs, trying to get me to reason with you two about being gay."

"I'm not gay."

"She thinks it's a bad sign of something horrible coming.  An apocalypse or something."

"I'm told those happen in the spring," Tony quipped.  "Was she arrested too?"

"No.  She claimed she was checking for where her senior agent had disappeared to," Gibbs said.  "The SecNav was not pleased however."  She stomped by their row.  Tony waved with a grin.  "In a good mood?" Gibbs asked dryly.

"Yup.  She didn't ruin anything, unlike my last ex that tried to toss my apartment."

"What happened?" McGee demanded.  Gibbs looked at him.  He ducked his head, spluttering some.  "I mean, is this a team problem?"

"No," Tony said.  "*Someone* wanted to know where we go when we disappear for a few hours."

"I figured you guys were doing stuff to blow off steam," McGee said.  "Not in a gay way," he said quickly at Gibbs' look at him.  "But maybe boxing or something?"

Tony smirked.  "No.  Sometimes we have to check on a family that we know.  They have some responsibilities that they need help with."

"So you go to help them out, give advice, that stuff?" Kate asked.

"Basically."

"Tony, who'd take advice from you?" she asked dryly.

"Quite a few people.  Including their kids."  She gaped.  "Who are a bit wild.   Remember Xander?"  She nodded slowly.  "He's part of that family."

"Oh."  She nodded quickly.  "They need sanity?"

"No, just some advice now and then," he told her.

"Gibbs?"

"What?  That's what's going on.  No matter who thinks otherwise."  He gave her a dirty look.  "Don't we have an open case?"

They got to work.  They knew that tone of voice.

The director stomped back an hour later with Ziva.  "I do not like how you had her arrested," she sneered at Tony.

Tony looked up.  "Then next time, don't have her break and enter into my apartment, Director.   She was actively in the scene of the crime.  Not like I'm living with her."

"You should."

"She's not my type," he said.  "Mine are beautiful and talented."  She stepped closer.  "And if you sent her, you're going to be an accessory.  There's no reason for her to be searching my apartment.  We all know that I don't have the time to do anything and if I did, Gibbs would get me himself."

"With great pleasure," Gibbs said.  "I'd have him in a cell within minutes and begging even sooner."  He looked at her.  "That was offensive, Director.  Especially without a good reason."

"Half of my top team goes missing and I'm not supposed to wonder?" she shot back.

"You could try asking," Gibbs said.  "It would've gotten you a better response than a restraining order."  He handed it to her then sat back down.  "I suggest you not try it again."

"Is that psychotic young man coming back?"

"Right now he's a bit bruised from having to save a young woman he knows from being attacked by an older woman who wanted to kill her," Tony said.  "If so, he's hiding from the young one fussing over him."

"He had better not," she snarled.  "I do not want him here."

Jethro looked at her.  "You do realize that he may have a purpose for being here?  Including the fact that he handles problems in his hometown that get people killed?  Including finding a whole warehouse full of weapons recently?"  She gaped.  "You have no idea what he does, Director.  Xander is perfectly nice as long as you aren't getting into his face.  Which you did.  You're very lucky he didn't attack you when you first tried to hit him.  He is very brutal in his own defense.  As some people in the Army found out."

"That may be why CID called, boss," McGee said, pointing at the phone.  "They called me to tell you they left you a voicemail about upcoming trials."

Gibbs dialed in, listening intently and taking notes.  "Thank you, McGee."

"Many trials, boss?" Tony asked.

"Yes.  You're going to be called on a few of the trials.  They need the team out there ready and prepped for it as well."  He looked at him.  "Starting late next month.  They'll email an exact date."

"Sure.  Let me know.  Am I prepping them for the trial?"

"That would be considered a conflict.   They wanted me to."  They shared a look.  "We'll see what we can come up with.  Buffy will have to learn to focus."

"Xander too, boss."

"We'll work on that."  He sent an email to Fornell to warn Epps that it was coming.  Then he got back to work on his current case.  He got an email from Dawn a few minutes later, reading it over.  "DiNozzo, call Xander.  Dawn said he's hiding somewhere she can't find or he's off doing things the healer would be pissed at."

Tony leaned back, dialing his cellphone.  "Dawn's worried you're doing something that's bad for you?"  He listened.  "He's practicing with Sam, boss."

"No.  Not with his injuries.  He has to have clearance, the same as Faith does."

"Gibbs said that you had to have clearance, Xander.  Tough."  The boy hung up on him.  He called back but it went right to voicemail so it was off.  "He shut his phone off."

"I'll spank him in a few minutes," he said, calling John's phone.  "Are they in good enough shape to be practicing, Winchester?"  He smirked.  "No, not from what I saw last night they're not.  Medical clearance.  Yes, I'm serious.  All four of them."  He hung up.

"Think it'll work?" Tony joked.

"No but it'll give us a good reason to let Mac spank them."

"Or we could hand them to Dawn to fuss over," Tony said.

Gibbs looked at him.  "She's a nice girl but that's an evil idea, DiNozzo.  Have more coffee."

"Sure, boss, want me to get you one while I'm out?"

"Please.  I have the feeling I'll need it."  Tony grabbed his stuff, heading out for coffee.  He looked at his other team members.  "Don't say a word."

"What case?" Kate asked.  "Do the rest of us need to refresh ourselves?"

"Remember a huge CID case that DiNozzo had to go out to handle a few Marine and Navy based scientists after it was brought down?"

"Out in Sunnydale," McGee said.  Gibbs nodded.  "So we don't have to worry about it."

"You shouldn't have to."

"Even better," Kate decided.  She got back to work.  She'd ignore the huffy director and Ziva David.  They got themselves into trouble.  Not her.  Thankfully they hadn't tried it on her place or she'd have shot someone.

Fornell stomped in an hour later, looking at Gibbs.  "Restraining order?"

"She decided to search my house because I was off having dinner."  He looked up from his typing.  "She also lost Officer David to a jail cell last night when DiNozzo found her in his apartment."  Tony walked off the elevator, handing over the coffees.  "Took you long enough."

"I ran into someone who wanted an opinion on a personal problem. Namely their marriage."

"Thank you, Tony," McGee said.

"Welcome, Probie.  You too, Kate."

"Thanks, Tony."  She sipped and grimaced.  "Maple?"

"They were out of your regular type.  I said a half shot."

"More like a double shot but okay."  She took another sip then added a packet of something from her desk drawer. "Better.  Is someone in trouble for her stunt, Fornell?"

"You could say that."  He looked at Gibbs.  "You're relived of duty for the day, Gibbs.  Your whole team with Abby and Ducky."

"Impossible.  There's no other lab techs," Gibbs said.

"This is from higher than both of us," he said quietly, handing over the order.  "They want you out of the crossfire so you can't cloud anything."

"I have to finish up a few case files."

"Then take them to the coffeeshop and work on them there," he ordered.  "All of you, for the day."  They shrugged and grabbed stuff after turning off their computers.  "Abby will meet you wherever."  He looked at Gibbs.  "You might want to stop Xander.  He's doing more than practicing."

"Tapping the lines?"

"Not us."  Gibbs snarled.  "Maybe the pixies should've had her?"

"Maybe," he agreed dryly.  He gathered stuff and left behind his people.  "Have fun."

"Loads."  He waited until they were gone before calling in his team.  They rushed in, turned everything on with the master code the computer tech division had given them, looking for information under the scope of their warrant.

The director stomped down.  "What do you think you're doing, Agent Fornell?"

He stared at her.  "Enforcing a warrant, Director."

She smirked.  "Someone suspects Jethro of doing something?"

"No."

"DiNozzo?"

"No.  Or McGee or Todd or anyone else legitimately on that team."  He walked away from her.  "Reports?"

"Six translated documents, sir," one said.  "All in another language.  Two appear to be case reports.  The others are encrypted and translating them turns them into gibberish."  He ejected a CD and handed it to him.  "For Thompkins, sir.  He's our best at that stuff."

McGee came off the elevator, walking over to his desk to grab something.  He looked at the CD.  "Encrypted?  She uses the Ballist cypher.  It's on her home machine."  They all smirked.  "By the way, my encrypted stuff is personal information.  Including on my sister."  He left again once he had his mp3 player. "Abby's is her gaming files or her artwork," he called before getting on the elevator.

"That's good to know," Fornell said dryly.  He called in an agent to get that CD sent off.  The director tried to have them stopped but he arrested the interfering agent to get them out of the way.  She stomped back their way.  "Director, I would report to your office.  Within hours there's going to be a personal phone call for you from one of the higher ups on the reason for the warrant."  He went back to waiting.  "Anything else?"

"Gibbs has no porn on his computer, Deputy Director.  I thought every agent has some," one of the lesser techs reported.

"He's not like that.  After three divorces, he doesn't need it any more."

"Glad that wasn't me," he decided, going back to searching.

"Why does DiNozzo have gay stripper tapes in his desk?"

"Scuito's birthday present," someone in another row called.  "Can you maybe ruin people a bit more quietly?  Some of us still have work to do.  There's all sorts of other evil creatures beyond a corporate bitch in fuck me heels trying to rule the world her way and get revenge on someone."

"Ignore us."

"You're too loud."

"That is an order.  We do have a warrant."

"About time.  Do it more quietly anyway."

Fornell laughed.  "Want the day off?"

"Sure, if you come find this missing lieutenant colonel."

He went to look then pointed.  "Check the arrest logs in that area.  It's a good place to get drunk and forget to show back up."  The ransom note was held up.  Fornell shrugged.  "He was still arrested down there with two agents."

"Let me look," he decided, getting into that.  "Thank you, Fornell.  What's going on?"

"A lot of bad things."

The guy looked up at him.  "Duh.  We knew that."  Fornell sneered.  He smirked back.  "Did you ask anyone to hack her personal server?  She's probably got it encrypted and Willow thinks she's got a hidden drive on her computer upstairs."

Fornell smirked.  The haircut really did make him look different.  "Does Gibbs know you're here, Harris?"

"No.  I'm hiding from Dawn being fussy.   Beyond that, he wasn't arrested.  That was his idiot brother, who snatched him."  He handed over the report with a grin and got up, strolling off.  "They might want to ask his brother where he stashed him for his bond and running away fund.  Before he runs out of air or something?  Since he's a big fan of a movie that has that sort of plotline and people are predictable."

"I can do that."  He looked at the other agents.  "That didn't worry you?  That he's not an agent?"

"We thought the director did something like she did to Gibbs when she stuck Ziva on his team without warning," the lead agent said, taking it back.  "He had a clue and he did good work.  But he might be right."  He called down there to get the brother sent to them for questioning.  They could even question him for them.  The kid has some decent ideas.  He could see how he got to that point and the two other agents he had been arrested with were looking pretty good as accomplices.

Fornell went back to supervising.  He got a report on the contents of that report and sent it to the issuer of the warrant.  They'd be calling the director later and then he'd have new orders.  He so wanted to arrest her.  She'd deserve it.  Then maybe he could borrow the CIA's pixie hit squad.  They said she smelled good the last time.

***

Tony opened up the door at the knock, looking at the boy standing there.  "Hiding from Dawn?"

"And other fussy people but I do have a medical clearance."  He grinned as he handed it over.  "There you go.  So the overlord can quit fussing.  Toodles."  He skipped off to his rental car, heading back to get some stuff they needed at the castle.  Including normal food that not even Dawn could warp.  Plus a few more gallons of paint.  Mac's room seriously needed work.  Even Stella had said so.  She had picked out the colors too.  He obediently fetched and carried for their priestess, then went back through Ducky's portal.  His mother cooed and pinched his cheek then went to play with her dogs.  He grinned at her back, nodding a bit for Ducky's benefit.

"She often loses track of time," he said quietly.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Proves she wasn't evil, Ducky."  That got a laugh from the older doctor.   It took two trips but they got everything through and then he went to help Dean paint.  What was left they'd donate to the new housing projects going on in town.  They might even get some work time in on them today if they painted Mac's room fast enough.  Don and Stella came to help.  After an hour they got to carry a lot of stuff down to the work sites and dive in down there.  They needed the help.  Dawn was even helping some of the guards, who were asking her questions about Sunnydale and if Buffy was seeing anyone.  The guys shared a smirk and let it go.  Let Dawn be the center of attention.  It'd do her ego good.

Back on earth, Jethro shook his head and sighed.  That boy was driving him insane.  He knew it was a short trip after Abby and DiNozzo got done with him but Xander was going to end the last little bit of his sanity.  Maybe he should turn back and make Tony bear eggs.  It might make him saner.  The kids would be more insane than the twins, but he guessed he could handle that.  They had done good enough on them until the curse switched them out of their carefully managed environment.  Or maybe the egg might be fully sane and give Abby someone to coo over.  She'd like that.  Ducky and Stella would like that.  Yeah, he'd have to find a way to do that once he had a head fin again.  However that would happen.

The End.

Table of Contents

Idea Behind the Story. 2

The Story. 3

Part 1. 3

Part 2. 50

Part 3. 106

Part 4. 159

Part 5. 200