Contents

The Many Mystical Mes 1.

The Many Mystical Mes 2.

The Many Mystical Mes 3.

The Many Mystical Mes 4.

The Many Mystical Mes 5.

The Many Mystical Mes 6.

The Many Mystical Mes 7.

The Many Mystical Mes 8.

The Many Mystical Mes 9.

The Many Mystical Mes 10.

The Many Mystical Mes 11.

The Many Mystical Mes 12.

The Many Mystical Mes 13.

The Many Mystical Mes 14.

The Many Mystical Mes 15.

The Many Mystical Mes 16.

The Many Mystical Mes 1.

Note: As this story was becoming very long, very complex, and might never end, I decided to break this single story up into chapters/parts.  Like I did with Family Staffs.  So you can consider this one series or one really long story, whichever works for you.  Some violence and NC-17 parts but they are marked.  Set while Tara and Willow are split over her magic addiction.  While she's trying to get clean.

"Come on, it'll be fun," Willow begged.  "It'll help us learn more about ourselves.  It'll bring us closer and heal some of the problems we've had since high school."

"Willow, I know enough about myself to know that I don't need to do a spell to look at other versions of myself to find myself," Xander complained.  "No."  He walked off, mentally shaking his head.  He was not fond of this idea.  Actually, his danger senses were screaming like he had just walked into a nest of starving vampires thought he was the best food ever thanks to Spike hyping him as nummy.  He went to talk to Buffy.  "Have you heard Willow's newest idea?"

"No, what is it?" she asked, going back to her fashion magazine.

"She wants us to look at other realms of ourselves to get to know ourselves better."

Buffy slowly frowned and looked up at him.  "Wouldn't that take *magic*?"

"Yeah," he agreed.  "And could probably lead to the realms merging or something."

"Uh-huh.  She's supposed to be on only necessary magic, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Uh-huh.  Willow?" she called.  She came out of the back room of the Magic Box.  "What spell and how necessary is it?"

"I think it'll help us get to know ourselves better and become tighter again, like we were back in tenth and eleventh grade."

Buffy stared at her.  "Magic?" she asked.

"Well, yeah, but only like a scrying spell.  Nothing too hard.  It won't merge the realms, no matter what Xander thinks."

He snorted.  "Yeah."  He walked off shaking his head again.  "Leave me out of it."

"But... we could get closer again," she whined.

He turned to stare at her.  "No.  I don't need to look at other versions of myself, Willow.  I know myself and what I can do very well."  He walked outside, going to get something to eat then find a vampire to stake.  Before she tried it anyway and he got caught up in whatever madness this plan brought with it.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Buffy told her.  "What if our other realm selves are mean, like the vamp you and Xander?"

"There's thousands of other realms and realities.  I'm sure we're in more than that one."

"I still don't think it's a good idea, Willow.  Remember, the witches said to use only necessary magic for a while."

She slumped.  "I'm trying to get closer again, Buffy."

"I know."  She gave her a wrist pat.  "It's a good thing to want, but I don't think this is the right way.  Maybe a movie night or a game night sometime soon instead?  That way we can relax and do things that are friendly instead of slay-y."

"Maybe," she muttered, walking off pouting.  She went to look over the spell again, finding it wasn't really that hard.  She could do it on herself to show them it'd be fine.  Buffy walked back to take the book and walked off again.  "Hey!"

"Necessary magic only, Wills.  They said so."

"Whatever."  She went to get some ice cream and sulk instead.   They had trusted her before she had went bad.  Now she had to prove herself again.  This spell would be a good way and it'd be helpful to them.  They'd be closer, she'd have her friends back and trusting her, plus her skills so they got off the accidental magic bandwagon again, and they'd all be happier.  Because happiness didn't last too long in Sunnydale.  She went to find her girlfriend, Tara.  "They don't want to do the scrying with me."

"I think it's a bad idea too," she reminded her.  "It's not necessary."

"It'll bring us closer."

"It could warp time and space.  That's not necessary and it would break 'first do no harm'," she said more firmly.  "You have to stop using magic for these things, Willow.  Talk to them instead.  Spend quality time instead of leaning on magic."

Willow nodded, eating another bite of her ice cream.  "I guess."  She went back to her own room to think about it.  Maybe there was something to not doing it magically.  She wasn't used to it though.  She hated not using her magic, it made her skin itchy when it backed up.  She considered it, going to look over the copy she had made of the spell on her computer.  That way she wouldn't make any mistakes.  She'd look over her other selves and then they'd see it was a better idea.  Even Tara.

***

Xander looked up as something tingled around him.  "This is not looking good," he muttered, looking around.  "Buffy!" he shouted.  She came out of where she had been peeing behind a mausoleum.  "Can you feel something wrong going on?"

She paused in her buttoning her pants, letting herself feel the air.  Then she groaned.  "Tell me it's an apocalypse?"

"If that's Willow, it might be," he pointed out.  They took off running for the college to stop her before whatever happened bit them.  They got about two blocks.  Then they fell to their knees as pictures invaded their minds, knowledge and skills coming across.  Xander retched and threw up a few times until the pain went away.  He was helped up by someone male, looking at the vampire.  "Willow," he told him weakly.

"Won't save you," he said, going to vamp face.  Xander staked him.

Buffy got helped up by Xander.  "What did you see?"

"I should've listened more in science class."  He looked at her.  "Anything new in your other selves?"

"Not really.  In some I was kinda selfish.  In a few I was kinda mean.  In some I was nicer.  In a few it was just weird."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I had that one.  I was a concubine."

She shuddered.  "Nuff said, Xander."  She patted him on the arm.  "Did you have those muscles before?"

He looked down his shirt then at her.  "Yeah.  Construction worker, Buffy."

"Oh."  They hurried more slowly toward the campus, running into Tara trying to get into the bathroom Willow had locked herself into.  "Let me," Buffy ordered, letting Xander pull Tara out of the way so she could kick the door in.  Their floor's Resident Advisor came running at the crash.  "She's been making 'gonna go bad and do bad things' noises," she told him.  "We're doing an intervention thingy."  He nodded and left them alone.  Buffy walked in and hauled Willow up, looking at her.  "Why did I see the weird world where there were billions of teenage slayers on a military base?"

"I only scried for myself," she protested.

"Uh-huh.  Is that why I saw the world where I was a kid in DC thanks to you goofing up a spell?" Xander asked.

She blushed.  "You did?"

"No, *you* did," he said more firmly.  She squeaked and tried to move but Buffy was holding her.  "I think we need a real intervention.  Tara, can you clean up and lock her stuff up?"  She nodded, moving to do that silently, giving her girlfriend dirty looks.  "Buffy, get Giles here please."  She moved to do that while he watched Willow.  "That was *so* wrong.  I didn't want to do that, Willow."  He didn't want the murmuring going on in the back of his head right now.  He wasn't sure it was a good thing and he really didn't want to give in to what a few of the little voices were saying.  It was probably not a good idea to do what they wanted him to do.

"But... it helped, right?  You saw all the other good stuff you've done?"

"No.  I saw that childhood world.  I saw one where I was an assassin.  I saw one where I was a police officer.  Or two where I was a police officer.  I saw one where I was a concubine that was heavily wanted by all demons while I held them off with a sword," he said sarcastically.  "None of those do I want to see again!"

"But...."

He held up a hand.  "You're getting me to the point where I'm going to flashback to my family and do something they would," he said a bit too calmly.  She shrank back giving him a horrified look.  "Good idea."  Tara gave him a scared look.  "Not to you, Tara.  I'd never hurt you."

"Go calm down, Xander," Buffy ordered.  "You can spank her later."

"I don't want to *spank* her," he muttered as he walked past her, slamming the door on the way out.

Willow flinched.  "I've never seen him that mad."

"I think you deserve it," Buffy assured her.  Giles finally answered his phone.  "Come to our dorm room now.  I think it's that important, yes.  Or did you not see other versions of yourself thanks to Willow?"  She hung up, sitting on her bed.  "Tara, there's a padlock and key set in my dresser, in the top drawer.  Use it on her trunk of stuff."

She nodded, moving to do that once it was cleaned up.  "Do we have a copy of the spell for Giles?"  She pointed at the monitor for the computer.  "Good."  Someone knocked then slid a pamphlet under their door.  "Thank you."  She looked.  "Huh, the campus religious groups want you to find God too, Willow."

"I was trying to help!" she said.  She slumped miserably on her bed.  She had only wanted to help.

"We didn't want to see that," Buffy reminded her.  "Xander and I both refused to help you do that."  Someone knocked so she got up to answer it.  "Giles, good.  Look at the monitor and tell me why I saw a me where I was surrounded by demons being punished for being a bitch to Xander when you sold him to a higher demon on the Demonic Council and I blew up his Range Rover."

He spluttered a few times.  "You saw what?"  She pointed.  He looked then he went pale.  "Oh, dear."

"Yeah.  Xander and I both shot her down when she suggested it.  Xander's taking a walk because he nearly went psycho on her.  I'm about to go psycho on her.  Tara's even pissed.  Would you like to help us be pissed?"

"I do believe I can do that."  He glared at her, making her shrink down into the corner, holding her knees against her chest.  "Let me call the witches I know.  This is a serious breach.  She could have merged the realms or anything."  He moved to do that from the room phone with his calling card.  "Belinda, I have a bit of an emergency.  Willow just made herself and two others see themselves across the realms," he said quietly, staring at her.

"Yes, that one I talked to you about.  No, I do believe my slayer is about to beat her to death if Xander doesn't.  Or her girlfriend."  He rubbed his eyebrow.  "Please?"  He nodded.  "That would be acceptable.  Thank you, Belinda."  He hung up.  "She'll call a closer contact to come up and see if anything too terrible happened."  Buffy looked over at him.  "It could have pulled another version of any of you three here.  That can cause untold problems."

"Like the vamp Willow in high school?" Buffy asked.

"Worse.  That was a spot realm, an alternate universe that was created for one purpose around one event.  It was directly off ours.  If she pulled one from farther away, something that was a take off of an event that happened here and slightly different there, then we could have them merging or causing other problems."

"So if we had something happen and they had it happen slightly differently but then they had a spot realm thingy off theirs and we pulled them here, what might happen?" Buffy asked.

"Ripping of the fabric of the universe," Tara said quietly, glaring at her soon-to-be-former girlfriend.

"An apocalypse?" Buffy guessed.  "I knew it felt like an apocalypse for some reason."

"And then some," Giles agreed.  "Were the ones you saw later than this world's timeline?  Or did you get a sense of how old you were?"

"I think most were older.  The one where I blew up his car and you sold him to be a demonic concubine I was clearly older and had dyed my hair strawberry blonde.  At least a year older I think."

"Any others that stand out?"

"One where I saved Xander from her because she gaybashed him for liking boys.  I think we were around this age.  He went to Miami with Mom's help."

Giles nodded.  "So not any that you remember being younger?"

"Xander said he saw one where he was a baby again thanks to her screwing up a spell."

"That would be horrifying," he decided, shuddering.  "With us?"

"In DC for some reason."

"Even worse."  He sat down next to her, staring at Willow.  "I have no idea what to do with you.  Especially if they told you not to include them, Willow."

"I'm all for knocking her out," Xander said as he came back in with a drink.  "Before I do it with my fist."  He stared at them.  Giles gave him a horrified look.  "Yes, I remember all the ones I saw, Giles.  Does this surprise you since I'm the only one that kept anything from Halloween or the hyena thing?"

"No," he said quietly.  "It doesn't.  Are you all right?"

"Some of my other selves drank, some of my other selves drank pretty hard, some drank casually.  Some didn't drink.  I think tonight I'll remember the ones that drank themselves to sleep before I remember the one where I was an assassin."

"You were?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I was."

"Oh, dear."

"And there was one where I was a fluffy, gray winged demon thanks to her needing a higher one to help with something."

"Sividia," Giles supplied automatically then stiffened.  "She did?"  Xander nodded.  "Xander...  Lad, can you try to do something for me?"  He took off his shirt and the wings came out.  "Oh, dear lord no."

Xander looked behind him and they disappeared.  "So I'm guessing I kept some skills from this, like I did on Halloween?" he asked dryly.

"I do believe that's safe to say," he agreed calmly.  "I don't know what we're going to do."

"He doesn't feel like a demon to me," Buffy offered.  "No evil causing cramps or anything."  Giles relaxed at that.  "So maybe your good guy realms outweigh your bad guy ones."

"There I wasn't really a bad guy.  I did take over Sunnydale as the overlord."  He grinned sweetly.  "You got to go to LA to live while I handled things.  And I dated a cute guy, had a dog, got along with his family.  Drove hell mad."

"You do a pretty good job with me so I don't see why you wouldn't," Buffy said, trying to sound upbeat.  "That could be helpful, right?" she asked her watcher.

"Only if they show up here."

Xander smirked.  "We'd better hope not."  He glared at Willow, making her squeak and try to shrink more.  "You're in so deep with me."  Someone pounded and he looked behind him, then opened the door magically.  "Come on, witchly one.  Figure out how in the hell she did it this time."

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Xander.  One of her best friends.  Just got sucked into her thing."

She looked at Rupert.  "Belinda called with a totally hysterical sounding complaint, Rupert."  He pointed at the computer monitor, letting her look.  She went pale.  "That's not possible.  It takes some immense powers."

"You mean like our witch that closes our hellmouth?" Buffy asked.  "That sort of power?"

Rebecca looked at Tara, who shook her head, pointing at Willow.  She looked at that girl, then glared.  "Yes, I do believe she could do that."

Xander picked the witch up, looking at her.  "If she's going to be killed, I want to do it," he said calmly.

"Xander, do put Rebecca down please," Giles said firmly.  "I know you're still reacting to what you saw but she's not a threat."  Xander put her down with a pout.  "Perhaps your plan to get blasted on alcohol tonight is a good one?"

"I might not stop," he said with a semi-hysterical laugh.  "I don't know if I can."  Buffy got up and knocked him out then sat down again with a sigh.

"Thank you, very helpful," Giles said, giving her a pat.

"If I wouldn't go caveslayer again I'd get drunk too," she admitted.

Rebecca looked at them, then nodded because it was clear the usual insanity had started in them already.  "How bad was it?"

"He had one where she turned him into a baby.  Another where she turned him into a fluffy winged higher demon.  One where Giles sold him as a demonic concubine and I blew up his car on him when he was ignoring my evilness from the alcohol.  He can still bring out the wings for some reason but he doesn't feel like a demon to me."

The witch looked at her newest chore.  "This is bigger than I can handle.  We need to look over all of you to make sure no taint carried across."

"Of course you do," Giles agreed.  "That's why I called Belinda.  I know her coven can do such things."

"Mine can too but the Devon Coven is a lot more powerful."  She pulled out her cellphone.  "I'll let her pay me back for this phone call."  She dialed, smiling when it was answered on the second ring.  "Belinda, it's worse than you thought, dear.  Not only is one of them keeping skills and memories from it, they're all keeping memories from it.  Yes, they said she can.  She can close the hellmouth.  There's another witch here with us who might be of some help but we need to do a full sensing."

"Tara's her girlfriend," Buffy supplied.  "Presently on the outs because of Willow's magic addiction.  She gave her a 'get clean or lose me' speech.  She stutters though so I won't make her be embarrassed or upset."  Tara gave her a shy smile.

"Yes, that's what she said, Belinda.  Please do.  In a dorm room.  The young man is presently knocked out.  They said he's kept skills.  The others have memories and not particularly nice ones."

"I was good to him in most of them," Buffy admitted.  "After a few rocky times.  Just... a few I was a bitch."

Rebecca nodded.  "That's about usual from the way I understand it."  She listened to the orders.  "Are you sure?"  She nodded.  "We can bring them there, yes.  Of course.  All of them including Rupert."  She hung up.  "We're to bring all of you back to our meeting area.  That way you're safely away from normals at the moment and we can make sure nothing too bad stuck or crawled over here."  She looked at Xander but Buffy got up and picked him up, carrying him out for her.  "That's handy."  She hauled Willow up, walking her behind Tara.

"Thank you, dear.  I'm sure you were trying your best but sometimes you need a boot camp style of rehab instead of a more gentle one."  Tara nodded at that, looking down.  "It's not your fault.  I'm sure you told her no as well."  Tara looked at her, nodding some.  "Then you're not at fault, dear."  She patted her on the cheek.  "You can be as shy as you want."  She got the girl into her car, letting them arrange themselves.  "You know where, Rupert?"

"I do."

"I'll meet you there then."  She drove off, taking the girl to get an asschewing of her life.  She clearly needed it.  And a good paddling.

***

Giles looked up as someone walked into the room the four of them were waiting in.  "Is there a decision made?"

"We need to talk to the young man."

Xander looked up from studying his hands.  "I've kept memories of possessions before," he said quietly.  "I'm figuring this isn't much different, just being possessed by other versions of myself."

"Yes, but some of the skills you kept can be a bit dangerous.  Like those wings of yours."

Xander shrugged.  "So I won't bring them back out and make people panic."  He stood up, moving closer to her.  "You're not going to be able to remove them.  Giles tried really hard with the other two."

"Still, that marks you as a higher demon, young man."

"And in one I had a hormone condition that sent any demon or human off in fits of orgasm wanting me," he shot back.  "All the way to the point where my hormones were clouding my head so I couldn't think straight and they kept stealing me."

She gaped.  "That's just wrong on so many levels," Buffy complained.  "Hold on, that's where Giles sold you, right?"  He nodded.  "Huh.  Sword stuff too, right?"  He nodded, giving her a look.  "You were cute with the hair."

"Not helping," he told her.  He looked at the witch again.  "Do you think there's actually a way to get them out of my head this time?  Or to block them off?"

"I think we wanted to talk to you alone for that discussion," she said firmly.

He stared at her.  "If you try to hurt me, I'll have to fight back and that means all the magic I had in that and the other lives comes out," he said dryly, making her go pale.  "I doubt you'd win."  He waved a hand.  "But by all means, let's rumble if you insist."

"We weren't going to hurt you."

"Uh-huh."  He waved a hand again.  "Shall we?"  She led him out there, telling the head of the coven what he had said.  He followed in more slowly, blocking the magic coming his way.  "You should know that in no less than three of them, and not counting the demonic one, I had some serious magic."  He looked at her.  "In one I was a cursebreaker," he said with a grin.

"Oh, dear."  She came over to test him.  "Do you have shields?"

He shrugged.  "We tried awfully hard after that Halloween.  No idea if it happened or if there's some other reason I haven't sucked up a new one recently."

She tested him then nodded.  "You're dangerous like that, Xander Harris."

"I'm dangerous without that," he reminded her.  "Not like I don't help Buffy."

She looked at the others then at him.  "You could do serious harm to others accidentally."

"I could accidentally stake someone living on patrol too.  Faith did, I'm not any better than she was."

"You're still dangerous."

"I've always been dangerous.  You should see all the fights I got into as a child being picked on," he said, staring her down.

"We can't let you out knowing that you could harm someone with those half-understood skills," another said.

"There's no half anything, ladies.  If I had a memory there, I have it now."  They all gaped.  "My choice is to use it or not.  At this moment, I'm choosing not to.  Mostly because I seriously want to drink myself to sleep at the moment."

"We can block them off," the senior witch said.  He shook his head.  "We can.  I know we can."

"You can try."  They moved to try it but nothing happened.  Willow was pulled in to help and still nothing happened.  Though his wings did come back out. "Are we going to go for third time's the charm?" he asked when they paused.  "Because I want vodka."

One of the Devon witches walked in and dropped her bag, looking at him.  "You could be the instrument that brings the realms into disastrous contact."

"I'm a medium, I'm not sucking them closer because I remember.  And by the way, this trying to make me act out?  Not making me happy," he snarled, staring at them.  "You're not going to get me to attack you, ladies.  I'm not that sort of dangerous."  He snapped his fingers.  "Obliviate."  He stomped off.  "Giles, I'm going to get drunk.  Pack my shit and I'll call in a few days from Mexico when I get sober again."  He left the house, heading for his car.

"I told you trying to make him react was the wrong thing to do," Willow said.  "Now he will end up having an accident and turn out just like me."  The Devon witch knocked her out.

Giles stomped in.  "What did you do to him?"

"We were trying to gauge his reactions, see if he was evil," one defended.  "He smarted off."

"He does do that often," he said dryly.  "Xander is not dangerous unless he's forced to be.  Otherwise we'd be talking about Willow in the past tense."  They all went pale.

"He's dangerous now," the Devon witch said firmly.  The spell he laid suddenly took hold, making them all shriek in pain as their heads got sucked from.

Giles sighed.  "As you made him be," he told one.  He went to call a contact.  "Wesley, it's Rupert.  I know you know some other demon hunters who aren't with the Council.  No, something dreadful has happened and Xander's stomped off.  I fear the Devon Coven has it in for him thanks to Willow's current misdeeds.  She viewed across the realms, Wesley."  He nodded.

"Indeed.  Just like Halloween.  They were trying to make him act in a dangerous manner so they could pen him up I'm afraid.  No, he stomped out after laying a forgetfulness spell.  It just took hold.  I want him found and warned.  If he needs it, he'll tell them to deal with him.  Or me I suppose.  No, he was talking about going to Mexico to get drunk.  Yes, this did.  Magic, wings, and all, Wesley.  Thank you.  I'll have a complete transcript for you in a few hours."  He hung up and went to get their notes.  It was simply unkind for the Powers or Fates or whoever to make these sort of crisis happen to the boy.

***

Xander finished up his online business with his bank and then his boss, sighing as he leaned back against the motel's headboard.  That magic stuff was really handy.  The one of him who had studied all the magic stuff had been a pretty snarky, mean, smartass sort of him he guessed, though he wasn't sure why he wanted a manipulative blonde consort to play butt boy for him.   The others had some pretty neat magic skills too.  Well, some of them.  Some of them didn't do it at all.  He guessed that's the way the universe crumbled sometimes.

He sent an email to someone else, getting an almost immediate one back demanding to know who he was and how he got hold of this email address.  So he told him.  In livid detail about the spell and how he was now hiding but they were hunting for him and he needed a better plan and some hunters to help him at the moment to make sure he didn't break out in screaming evil tendencies.  The witches had been right.  He did have darkness inside him that could easily make him the next apocalypse.  "Better to warn than to have to apologize as they're burning me," he muttered, adding that at the end.  Then he sent it and a coded idea of where he was.  He remembered that Sam guy and knew he'd get the reference.  So hey, he had a few days to get drunk and make the memories settle down or go away.

Something.

Hopefully.

And maybe find something for the wings itching too since he didn't have concubines to preen him anymore.

***

Sam Winchester scowled as he read the new email.  "Dean, Bobby, come here please?"  They came over to look over his shoulder.  "Any clue what he's babbling about?"

"Yeah, got a head's up from a contact in LA.  Guy wanted to hunt really bad.  Used to be a Watcher," Bobby admitted.  He took it to reread.  "He said that their witch went rogue, did this viewing across the multiple realms thing."  He looked at the boys.  "And one of them was a medium who has known issues with possessions sticking to him."

"So he's probably got the memories of all the other hims he saw?" Dean guessed.

"And skills.  He kept skills from one of his, Dean.  If not both.  The other was a primal spirit and they couldn't tell."

"Charming!" Dean said sarcastically.  "And now?"

"Now, if this is right, there's witches looking for him to provoke him into doing something so they can get him in trouble or sic someone like us on him," Bobby said, handing it back.  "Where is he, Sammy?"

"Mexico.  Just south of the border.  I went there on spring break.  How would he know me?"

"Hunters lives often touch," Dean said.  "So we do what?"

"Go check him out.  If he's evil, give him a choice or make him take that step," Bobby offered.  "If not, bring him here."  They nodded, heading for the car to head south.  He sent a message back to the boy to expect them in a few days.  It'd take about a week for them to get that far south.  In the meantime, if he was smart, the boy was drinking himself into a near coma.  He went to make some preparations.  There was no telling what the guy had seen of himself in the other realms.  If he hunted, he had some darkness in him.  The realms were split about equally for good sides and dark sides of everyone.  That was the true balance of the universe.  "Just what we need," he muttered as he worked on a new trapping figure.  "A hunter turning psychotic and going after the rest of us."

***

Sam found the motel and parked, nudging Dean awake.  He had taken over when they crossed the border since he'd been here before.  "Upstairs."  He got out, Dean getting out on the passenger's side.  They looked up there, finding a young guy with dark hair now leaning out of a window.  "Did you write?" he called.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I did."

"Want to talk?" Dean guessed.

"Get me another beer?  You'll probably want one too.  I was babbling while drunk on the laptop so you get a good accounting of what I know."  He pulled back in.

Dean went to get some beer.  This was probably a good time to have a few.  Sam went upstairs, letting Dean follow a few minutes later.  "So why us?"

"Because in three of the ones I saw and remember vividly, I was either dating one of you or mentoring you two."  He pointed at the laptop.  "It's on there.  All that I remember vividly.  A few times I've had a dream but it wasn't something I remember seeing.  It might've been from the world where I was turned into a baby."

Dean grimaced.  "That had to suck.  How?"

"Willow.  Same as this one," he said dryly, taking a beer to drink.  "No, I'm not sober and I don't plan on it today," he told Sam at his frown.  "You wouldn't either if it made your wings quit itching."

"Wings?"

"In one Willow decided we needed to change one of the team into a higher demon to fight something coming in.  So she convinced Giles to turn me against my stated wishes."  They both winced.  "They way they did it meant I ended up a Sividia.  A general of hell's armies.  As a hunter still underneath.  When I went to one to talk to them about how to change me back, which they couldn't, they ceded Sunnydale to me as long as I stayed out of all the power plays and all that."  He took another longer drink.  "So I had to call a hunter back from hell, Dean, to help me clean up the predators in town after I took it over.  You and your dad brought Sam after I called him back so I could remove most of the taint from him and the leaders of hell decided we were mates."  He took another drink while Sam shuddered. "I still have the wings but Buffy said that I don't read as tainted to her slayer senses."

"That's at least a little bit helpful," Dean offered.

"Yeah but the wings are driving me nuts," Xander complained.  "Plus the memories of the life where I'm a top cursebreaker and a huge ass booknerd.  As in my library is bigger than the LA County library system."  Sam whimpered at that.  "And I read most of them, mostly on magical theory.  I laid a time delayed obliviate on the witches who were trying to provoke me into doing something evil so they could kill me."  Another drink.  "You only brought six?"

"We can get more," Sam promised.  Xander handed him some money so he went to shudder all the way to the store.  And back again.  "I was tainted?"

Xander stared at him.  "The blood taint grows, Sam.  After Dean lost his deal, you were trying to fix it by going to their side and playing it against them."  Sam moaned, slumping into his chair.  "I removed most of it but it made you able to touch me and not get too warped.  We had a dog, some little caretaker demons, Dean had stolen my first dog Arf, who was a demon dog, and was out hunting with your dad while you helped me keep Sunnydale safe for the peaceful demons."

"Aw, shit," Dean muttered.  "Well, we're at the soul deal stage."

Xander grinned and handed over something.  "That's how you break the curse that locks the deal into place, Dean.  The cursebreaker one and the demon lord one both agreed on that."  Dean smirked at him.  "I pay for services, guys.  Just tell me if I'm too evil and I'll go drown or whatever if I can't."  He laid down.  "Right now I'm not sure what the hell I am.  You guys aren't feeling horny about me right?"  They gave him odd looks.  Very odd looks.  "In one I had a hormone condition that drew everything from demons down to puppy dogs."

"Nope, can't say as I want you that way," Dean assured him, making the boy relax and finally pass out.  "That's just weird, even for a hunter's life," he said, sitting down to go over the drunken explanation and babbling.  "He did babble.  It's got run-on sentences and things."

"I don't think he needs the thing proofread for grammar, Dean," Sam said, snatching it to look over.  "He's not joking.  A sividia.  I've only heard of them in one source."  He went back to reading, glancing at the boy now and then.  "Start with holy water?"  Dean nodded, lacing the beers for them and Xander's next one.  Then he sprinkled him with it.  No effect.  Dean nudged Xander to wake him up.  "Xander, we need to start testing things," Sam said a bit loudly.

"Ow," Xander mumbled.  Dean handed him the beer and he gulped it, feeling better.  "Holy water?"

Dean nodded.  "Could you tell?"

"That it was different but it didn't burn."

"Good."  He sprinkled him with some more, getting no result.  "That's a better sign."

"I'm not worried about taint, Dean.  I'm worried that the bad I saw of me being me means I'll take out someone or be the next apocalypse."

"We know.  It's still a place to start, Xander."  He put his cross against him.  No effect except when he moved it to his back.  Then he hissed and flinched away.  "What was that?"

"A wing," he moaned, letting them out once his shirt was off.  Dean looked them over.  They did twitch at holy water and flinched away from his cross before it could touch them.  "So I have evil wings instead of an evil hand?" he joked weakly.

"Apparently," Sam agreed.  He went back to reading.  Finally he was done.  He and Dean had a silent conversation.  "Get cleaned up.  The next test is walking into a church."  Xander nodded, going to shower and change before they headed out together.  The manager of the fleabag motel gave them dirty looks.  "We're going to church to apologize for our friend getting so drunk."

"You should beg for other reasons."

"Not like we showed up to sleep with him," Dean told him.  "We're the rehab committee."  The manager crossed himself and walked off shaking his head.  They walked Xander to the church up the street, watching as he slowed down.  "Wings?" he asked quietly.

"Middle of my back," Xander agreed.  He stepped inside and winced then walked out shaking his head.  "That's got a shield around a relic."  He looked at it then made himself go back inside, looking at the small relic.  Then at the curious looking priest.  "I'm from Sunnydale, Father."

"Oh, dear."

"Are you a Watcher?" Sam asked.  "The only one I've met said that."

"Giles says it a lot too," Xander agreed.  "You are, right?"  He nodded, moving closer.  "I hunt with Buffy.  Willow goofed big time."

"We heard, Xander.  What did you see?"

"A hormone condition that made me wanted by everything.  Me as an officer.  Me being turned into a sividia by Willow and Giles.  All sorts of crazy things."

He sighed.  "You kept the memories?"

"And the wings, the magic, that stuff," he said dryly.  "You know this is demonic, right?"  Dean and Sam both gaped.  "It's Mohra bone."  He looked at the shield then at him.  "It's nearly blinding, Father."

"I'll have to have that checked out."  He moved closer, sprinkling him with holy water.  "You don't have to react?"

"Only my wings react apparently."

"Interesting.  May I see them?"

"Not in the open.  We don't want someone to think he's a mutant and hunt him for a circus," Dean ordered.  That got a nod so the Father took them to his office, letting Xander manifest his wings.  "Your feathers are bent, Xander."

"I'm guessing that's why they itch," he complained, looking back at them, then at him.  "There I had concubines and Sam to fix it."  He pouted at Sam.  "I'm not even hoping, don't scowl at me like you're constipated."  The priest laughed but came to look at them.  "What do I do with evil wings, Father?"

"I don't know.  Can they be removed?"  Xander flinched and they wrapped around him.  "Probably not then."  He tested them.  "They do read as tainted but not wholly evil."

"Is that because in that life his friend turned him, he wasn't a natural one?" Sam asked.

"That could be.  It could also be that he was doing good even after being turned into an evil thing."

"They negotiated with me so I'd keep Sunnydale safe for peaceful demons, Father," Xander said quietly.  He made his wings go away again.

"No, you need to unmanifest them, not just hide them."  Xander looked confused so he pulled down the book, letting him see it.  Xander concentrated and they went away, making him smile.  "Good job.  Try it now, boys."  They tried holy water on his back and it didn't bother him at all.  "That seems to help somewhat.  Now, about the other things?"  Sam made notes on the basics as he had read it.  Xander added in a few more facts.  "Should I tell Travers?"

"Tell him the witches have Willow but I laid a delayed obliviate," he offered with a small grin.  "In one I'm a booknerd cursebreaker."

"Oh shit, son," he said, cracking Dean up. "Don't you get into enough trouble as is?"

"Apparently not because I had Draco as my wife."

"Even worse if I remember those books well.  Are we testing him for taint?" he asked Dean, getting a nod.  "And then?"

"The witches were trying to provoke him," Sam said quietly.

"I don't want to be the next huge bad guy," Xander promised them all.  "But I need someone outside of myself to see that because right now I'm so screwed up with the other memories I'm not sure which one I am sometimes."

"I guess that'd be normal," Dean admitted.  He shifted his stance.  "Have others had this problem?" he asked the priest.

"I only know of it being done once and that person went mad shortly after doing the spell."

"Slightly there already," Xander admitted.  "I think.  Or maybe it was one of them.  Maybe the concubine with the hormone issue who was immortal," he muttered.

Sam patted him on the back.  "We'll figure that out too, Xander."

Xander looked at him.  "I like you a lot, Sam, but I'm having all sorts of funny memory flashes about you.  Maybe...."  Sam backed off.  "Thank you.  I mean, I like you and I could *really* like you if you're like the yous there, but I don't want to do that to anyone, especially not until we figure out if I'm sane or if I'm going to go evil like my wings."

"No babbling," Dean ordered.  "It's cool, Xander.  We're freaked out by that too."  He looked at the priest.  "We have another hunter setting up an area to let him figure things out in if he's going to go evil.  Do we think he is?"

"No.  I think he's been a knight for years, boys.  He's known as a white knight."  Xander nodded, slumping some.  "Take him there, help him figure it out.  I'll send that report on and tell them that you're in the custody of a hunter for your protection and to make sure that appropriate steps are taken if you do turn sides, Xander."  Xander nodded.  "I'll tell Rupert as well."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Go tonight.  This town is a bit odd and there's plenty of demons around here."  Xander nodded, taking them back to the motel to pack.  Dean decided Xander was riding with him while Sam drove Xander's car.  His car had protections in case he snapped out in evil ways and Xander's probably had weapons they didn't want him able to get to at the moment.   The priest waved as they left then went to call this one in.

"It's Father Phislin.  I need to speak to Travers immediately.  I just met with Harris."  He was switched over immediately, he wasn't even put on hold.  "Two hunters showed up at Harris' asking to talk to him, Quentin.  No, I think the memories are starting to settle in actually.  He's not fully sure he's sane.  The lives he saw were a bit diverse.  Everything from an assassin to a police officer, with stops at a concubine with an overactive hormone problem that drew demons and one where Miss Rosenburg turned him into a sividia.  He still has the wings by the way.

"He also said he saw one where he was a cursebreaker like in the Harry Potter books.  Called himself a booknerd in that one.  No, apparently he wrote the two young hunters to come check him out to make sure he wasn't going to go evil because in some of those lives he was rather attached to them."  He smiled, leaning back some.  "They're taking him to a sanctuary so they can finish testing him and all that.  There's a few things to note.

"I think he'll end up mostly sane.  I do know that his wings are sividia wings and they do react to holy water but not the rest of him and when they're unmanifested even the area doesn't react.  He also has a lot of strong magic now.  It's fairly flowing around him, Quentin.  Very strong magic.  Yes, of that sort as well.  I saw some demonic and some more natural magic, plus some of that strange magic we found in that one tomb a few years back."

He listened to him.  "No, I don't think he'll end up being a danger.  That's his biggest fear and why he called those two hunters to come check him over.  They're taking him to an older one probably to finish that.  They had done holy water already before bringing him here.  Oh, and he identified the relic we have as being Mohra demon bone, not human.  He visibly reacted to the shield around it as well.  Yes, I'm quite sure.  It nearly made him flee the church, Quentin.  I have some basic notes but he said that he wrote out more of the memories for them.  One of them he was apparently dating in one of the lives but I'm not sure about the rest."

He smiled.  "I'll fax it directly.  Still the same number?  Of course I am.  He just left a few minutes ago.  He was fairly nice but he spent the last week drunk off his bum from this.  Exactly and that's why he called upon their sort, Quentin.  I have no doubt if he's a danger, they'll stop him.  I'll fax it over now.  Get an account from Rupert if he still has his memories."  He hung up and faxed over the notes he had.  The researchers would love this one.

***

Xander got out of the car, looking at the old farmhouse beside the salvage yard.  "Hey, Bobby," he said, nodding politely.

"You know me?" he asked.

"In a few of them I did.  In one I ended up mated to Sam.  In another I was mentoring the boys so we met that way.  In another I was dating Dean so we met then."  Bobby gaped.  He handed over the laptop.  "What I vividly remember out of all of it."

Dean got out, leaning on his roof.  "The only thing that reacts to anything holy is his wings, Bobby.  He's got those hidden and not manifested so he shouldn't set off anything except maybe the devils trap.  I'm not sure if wings are enough or if his prior possessions would be."

"It might be.  We can try it," he decided.  "You sure you want me to know this?"

"They've seen it and you're more than good enough if I start to lose it and become a danger," he said quietly.  "Because I'd hate that.  Just hand me the knife at that time and walk away."

"I can do that."  He nodded.  "Barn, kid.  I've got a nice little area set up for you.  Cot and all."  Xander nodded, walking that way.  Sam parked and got out, both boys following him.  Bobby settled in to look over that information, finding it full-on drunk babble but it made a lot of sense.  The memories were clearly running together.  Dean came out.  "He more coherent now that he's sober?"

"They seem to be settling in."  He sat next to him.  "I know he's soaked up a lot of information from them.  In one he was a ballistics tech."  Bobby smiled at that.  "In another he was an assassin.  His father had been one and he inherited the family calling but he mostly did the evil bitches anyway."  That got another nod.  "Otherwise, I have no idea, Bobby.  I'm not sure how he's still sane."

"Neither is he by how he looks."  He looked at him.  "Anything else I should know?"

"He's got alchie parents and he's trying to keep himself from going there.  Sam drove his car since he was in a hangover when we left.  The Watchers have some notes already.  We ran into a priest there who was one.  He took some."  That got another nod.  "Xander's miserable thinking that someone might have to stop him.  Not those witches because they tried to provoke him into being dangerous so they could handle him.  But he knows if he starts that way, he's going to be warned once and then gotten by one of us."

"Don't forget he told you how to break the soul contract," Sam said as he joined them.  "Xander's resting inside the protections, Bobby.  The devils trap is holding him so far, and he growled at it.  I think it was the primal possession that never got fully cleared."

"That could do it."  He finished his reading, frowning some.  "That's a diverse spread.  From what the books say you should be about like you are here, but some of the incidents led you to the dark and some to the light."

"Maybe it's because he's so young," Dean offered.  "Or because things go to hell out there.  Most of them he left in one way or another from what I read.  That'd start a new path, right?"

"It would."  He considered it.  "How messed up is he?"

"Fairly.   They're trying to settle in but he said his head is so crowded he knows how Dru must feel.  Whoever that is," Sam said quietly, glancing at the barn then at him.  "I know why us though.  In one he's a sividia and I'm his mate."

"That makes some sense but I can't see that as good for either of you."  He frowned, going to that section to reread it.  "Huh.  Never mind, it might be."

"Probably from what he mumbled while asleep," Dean agreed.  "So now what?  We've done everything I know how to do."

"Now, we see if he heals his mind, boys."  He stood up, walking the laptop out there.  "Even as a bad guy you usually helped others so we're going to start working on the healing to make sure you don't lash out at others in some serial killing witch way."  Xander nodded, looking up at him.  "For now, separate the accounts.  Write a total life history for each individual life, Xander.  That could help it sort itself out so it lays down easier in your mind."

"What about the magic stuff?"

Bobby shrugged.  "If it stays after you're fully sane then we'll see.  If you finish going mad, we'll find someone to bind you or have them put you on drugs that inhibit magic."  He handed back the laptop.  "Make each life it's own history report, kid."

"If I give you money would you get me soda?"

"I've got coffee."

"Eww.  It's too hot for coffee."

"It's barely sixty in here."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "I'll see if Dean'll run out."  Xander tossed over his wallet.  "Need anything else?"

"I only saw little bits and pieces of one where I was a girl.  I haven't checked yet but I don't think I have PMS or a vagina."  Bobby walked off shuddering.  "Willow turned me into a slayer too," he called after him.  He settled in to separate out the lives.  That wasn't such a bad idea.  It could help them fade out a bit in his head so he could think all by himself without wondering which Xander he was.  Because if he could do that then he'd be sane and less likely to be a danger to himself and others, which would mean he'd have to make further plans because he couldn't live in Bobby's barn forever.  Sam walked in some soda.  "Thanks, Sam."

"Welcome, Xander.  We'll come check on you later.  Did he dig you a latrine or something?"

"There's an old outhouse attached to the back.  I'll be fine."  He gave him a weak smile.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem."  He went inside, going to watch Bobby cook dinner.  "I got him a bag of chips with his two-liters."

"That might help him, but I'm not going to make the boy starve," Bobby told him.  Sam grinned.  "How did he look?"

"He looked okay enough.  Tired.  Really tired.  Would they still try to take him out if he's healed?"

"Probably, just to be safe," Bobby agreed.  "The Council is all about the bottom line and things not being shot into the wrong hands.  They're sneaky bastards who don't care who they hurt to get their goals at times.  Right now, we're protecting him as much as we're protecting others from him."

"What if he does heal?" Dean asked.

"No clue," Bobby admitted.  "I looked in the books.  The only one known to have actually done the spell went mad.  Killed himself when he tried to end the Council."  They nodded at that.  "I can tell you the other hunters are going to be very wary of this one, especially if they see his wings."

"They're cute," Sam offered with a grin.  "Light gray.  Fluffy.  Soft to the touch."  Dean gave him an odd look from across the kitchen.  "I'm just saying, Dean."

"Uh-huh.  If he ends up sane and with you like he did in those other lives, then we'll figure things out."  Bobby snickered.  "If he has the wings would he have the hormone condition from that other world?"

"Probably.  We'd have to see."  That got a nod.  "That one I've never heard of.  Though, hormones aren't my thing."

"In biology class the professor said that any body chemical can become hyper or hypo active.  That usually you ended up seeing a specialist for it.  In that case, since it's lust hormones and he said he had been taken repeatedly because of it, I'm not sure what we'd do to protect him."

"We'd make sure he always had weapons on him for whenever they stole him," Bobby told him.  "And if we have to put him in a home or something, we'll make sure they're warded so demons can't get into the building.  I know they can't steal him from out there."  He went back to chopping things for dinner.  "You two could help."  Sam came over to wash his hands and help while Dean set the table and got drinks for them.  When it was done he brought Xander out a bowl, watching him stare at the laptop.  "Hard to start?"

"I'm trying to figure out which one to start with."

"The most vivid.  Then lay it aside once it's sorted out.  Like folding socks, Xander."  He left him alone so they could eat.

Xander picked up the bowl, using his fingers to eat the stew.  He typed one handed while he ate.  It wasn't a good analogy but it'd work this time as advice he guessed.  And hey, he was uncovering more memories each time he got into that life's history.  The other hims were pretty interesting, more than he was.

***

Bobby looked up a few days later when a cop car pulled into the salvage yard, mentally swearing.  "Problems, Officer?"

"Mr. Singer, there's a report that you're holding a man against the will of his caretakers."

Bobby snorted.  "Figures they'd try that.  Xander?  Are you decent?" he called.

Xander came out of the barn.  "Usually.  Officer, which one sent you after me?"

"How did you get out?" Bobby asked quietly.

Xander grinned.  "Magic."  He smirked.  "Covered a mark to get soda last night."  He looked at the officer again.  "Which one sent you?  The nosy witches in Devon or the Watchers Council?"

"Them.  One of my cousins is one and he called me specifically."  He moved closer.  "What's going on?"

Xander lit up his hand with magic, making the cop flinch back.  "Thanks to a friend screwing up I can now do this."  He banished the small light.  "The Council decided I'm dangerous.  The ones in Devon tried to provoke me into being dangerous.  Bobby's making sure I'm not and reporting to others that I'm not.  I chose him as a knowledgeable, neutral third party to make sure I'm not going to go evil and kill people because I can now be my own nightlight and charge my own laptop."

"How did this happen?"

"See, I have two female friends," he sighed, leaning against the wrecked car beside him.  "One decided she was going to try to do something to bring the group closer together again.  As usual for any magic she does that's not emergency related, it screwed up.  I'm the end result but those witches and the Council are dealing with her over it.  They've decided I'm now wrong so therefore dangerous.  Like mutant hunting really," he finished blandly.

"So they want you back to do what?"

"Kill me or dissect me," Xander told him.  "Bobby's making sure I'm not harmful to them and they can't get me.  That's why I'm hiding in his barn.  I sent a request for him to watch over me while I healed from her crappy aim and so someone would know what happened, and that I'm not a danger to others."

"How long are you planning on staying around?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know yet.  Not forever.  I'm still healing from becoming glowy."

"Are you going to hurt anyone?" the officer asked.

"Her if I see her anytime before I'm suddenly so very unpissed at her.  That might be in a few reincarnations though.  So far I haven't wanted to deal with anyone else except sneaking out for some soda last night.  I immediately came back but I didn't have any feelings of bothering the nice, overworked cashier."

"That's good to know.  If something happens by him being...glowy, you can handle it, Mr. Singer?"  Bobby nodded.  "Good.  Then I'll tell them it's a false report.  Are they beating her ass, Mr. Harris?"

"I certainly hope so."  The officer smiled, heading back to his car and getting in to drive away.  Xander waved and then looked at Bobby.  "I didn't think you'd want him in there to see the remains of the three demons that came for me last night," he said quietly.

"Before or after you went for soda?" he asked, scowling at him.  "That was dangerous."

"Before, Bobby.  I killed them then went to cool off by hiking out for soda.  The protections mean they can't pop in but they walked in late last night.  I still want to know why all the other mes I saw were either bi or fully gay."  He went back in there.  "Oh, I only covered a few of the marks with a blanket to get out."  He ducked back in, going back to his bed, taking the blanket with him on the way to lock himself back inside the protections.  He kicked the imp out, making Bobby moan.  Xander drew something out, handing it over.  "It's chaos based but it'll keep every sort of magic at bay, even mine probably."  He went back to his typing.

Bobby looked at him.  "Didn't I feed you breakfast?"

"Um... yeah....  Why?" he asked, looking around.  "Oh, didn't eat it.  Sorry."  He scarfed it then went back to sorting out his other lives.

Bobby shook his head.   "You think they'll invade?"

"I think Buffy and Willow both saw the same lives I did," he admitted, looking over.  "I don't think they want to take a chance of me blowing up the state if they try it.  Quentin Travers is stupid and arrogant but not that dumb.   The officer will report back that I went glowy.  That'll tell them that I still know magic.  They knew the other lives I admitted to them.  I've found a few more with some lesser memories too."  He went back to it.  "Want me to set them on fire for you?"

"I don't want you using any magic, Xander.  It draws them closer," Bobby told him.

Xander snorted, looking at him.  "If I haven't gotten rid of it yet, it won't be going away, Bobby.  I should learn how to shield myself and other things like that so I don't accidentally turn into Willow.  One of her is enough for any world.  I'd be going bad if I started to have accidental things happen like she did."

"True."  He patted the boy on the arm.  "Let me drag them off to bury them.  I'll see if we can get you books on shielding.   No using any magic unless it's to protect yourself."

"I won't," he promised.  "Not like I couldn't have stolen the soda instead."

"Tell me if more come back.  What did they want anyway?"

"To see if I wanted a job."  He sneered at the bodies.  "Looks like I remembered the sword work from the life with the hormones too."  He went back to his typing.

"It'll definitely be safer for you," Bobby agreed.  He dragged the bodies out back to burn them.  Dean came out of the house, frowning at him.  "Walked in to offer Xander a job."

"Wonderful!"  He came out to help, getting the others for him.  Then some lighter fluid and Sam's lighter.  He stood beside Bobby.  "He's losing weight."

"He forgot to eat breakfast.  Snuck out for soda last night though."

"We'll watch more closely tonight," Dean agreed.  He went to tell Sam that.  Plus so Sam could get his notes to look over.  That way they had more information.  Bobby was putting this into the hunter's knowledge base in case it became relevant without revealing who it was done to.  That way other hunters didn't come for the poor guy.

Sam walked in and walked over the protection marks, sitting on the foot of Xander's cot.  "Are you near a stopping place so I can see?"

Xander shook his head, still typing.  "Few more lives, Sam.  Give me until moon dark."

"I can do that.  I wanted a preview.  Bobby's making notes in case it happens to someone else."  Xander looked up at that, looking confused.  "The last one who tried went insane," he reminded him.

"Maybe it's because it was done to me so I wasn't the sole focus.  Or maybe it's because I'm me.  Some freaky Xander thing.  Or a Sunnydale freaky thing."  He shrugged.  "I don't know."

"Are you feeling more settled?"

"Some.  The memories are lining up better.  I feel less like Dru and more like I'm just possessed by a few others.  That assassin me had a bad swearing habit."  He went back to writing.  "We were from Chicago originally and moved to Sunnydale."

"Was he doing it for cash?"

"Legal targets like the bad cops and them.  No women or children.  Still mostly in Sunnydale to help Buffy.  There's one where I was building stuff for Batman too."

"That sounds pretty cool."  He patted him.  "You could use a shower too.  Before bed, eat and shower, Xander."

"Yes, Sam."

"Good boy."  He got up and smiled.  "Can I read it tonight while you're asleep?"

"I don't mind."  He grinned.  "Thanks."

"Not a problem."  He went to talk to the others.  "I reminded him to shower and eat before he went to bed tonight.  He'll let me read them then.  The assassin one was taking out dirty cops and people like them in between helping Buffy in Sunnydale.  He had one where he was building robots for Batman."

Bobby gave him a strange look.  "Seriously?"  Sam nodded.  "Huh."  He went inside to go back to his reading.  He had no idea how to bind the kid's magic if necessary.  He was clearly very strong.

Sam and Dean shared a look.  "He covered some of the marks to sneak out last night for soda."

"We can set up a watch on the porch," he agreed.  "Though if he can apparate like in the Potter books, we'll never catch him."

"Good point."   Dean shrugged.  "We'll figure it out."  They went to check around the salvage yard for things to do.  It was boring watching Xander until he got done with what he was doing.

"Maybe we should try a short outing soon," Sam offered as they walked.  "Test him to make sure he can handle being around people."

Dean nodded.  "He could probably use some more clothes.  Underwear and things."  That got a nod back.  "Sure, we can do that."  Sam grinned.  "What's with his eating thing?"

"I think he's been distracted."

"I guess that makes sense in some weird way.  Then again, I'd be weird if I had went through that too I guess."  He shuddered.

Sam smiled and nodded.  "Definitely.  I still can't see us together."

"Who knows.  I'm sure he's not exactly like his normal self at the moment."  Sam nodded at that.  "Maybe in those you were happy and not hunting."

"No I think we'd still be hunting, just differently.  Especially in the one where he's a demon holding a sanctuary."

"That would be really strange.  Though I'm guessing you liked the wings for a reason."

"Not that one.  It's strange to see them but they were soft when I straightened a few out."

"That's probably why he's twitchy, like birds do when they're wet."  Sam nodded at that.  "You see anything to do?"  They heard a yelp and went to check on Xander, finding Bobby there too.  "Another demon or other problems?"

"Only cold water out of the spigot out here," Bobby said.

Xander moaned, putting a self-heating charm on the water spout.  "That's better.  Hi, guys.  Sorry to worry you."  He pulled the curtain and got back to his shower.  He had realized how badly he needed one after Sam said that.  He kinda stunk and his hair had more grease than Pizza Hut's total empire did.

Bobby shook his head, going to get the books on shielding like he had said he'd do.  Sam carried them out, putting them on the cot for him along with an extra towel, then he left to help with lunch.  Bobby just moaned and took his drink outside.  Let the boys have something to do.

***

Xander finished the last life's history, saving it down before flopping backward so he could think.  He did feel better.  The voices were settled fairly well in his head.  He had the memories and a lot of snarky little Xander's back there telling him what he should do now.  He sent a silent 'shut the hell up and let me think' command, making them all stop.  One offered a suggestion.  Since he was clearly sane and didn't seem to want to hurt people, he needed to figure out what he needed to keep himself safe and a plan on how to support himself.  The first wasn't too hard.  He had some money saved.  There were some things he might need sooner instead of later but he'd handle it.

The magical hims' voices told him to quit thinking so loud without protection shields around him in case those witches or the Council was listening.  He put up protections around his area, thinking harder now.  He knew they could still try to get inside but he should be able to feel that.  He sat up and got online, something he had figured out he could do yesterday, he thought it was yesterday, days kept running into each other recently, and went to looking at some ideas.  He had some careers that he could use the memories of.  As long as he quit being Xander.

Which he wasn't really anymore.  He was Mega Xander Droid or something like that.  All the littler Xanders had merged to create one mega Xander.  One mega Xander with mega powers, still, and fluffy gray wings that were still driving him nuts.  He wished he could magically preen them but none of the magical hims knew of a spell for that.  Maybe an imp?  No, that would break Bobby's trust and he didn't want to do that.  Plus it would draw more attention to himself.  He had to lay low to keep out of the Council's sights.

He looked toward the house, frowning at the feeling he got off them.  Dean still had that stupid soul contract so he broke the curse holding it there for him, making him moan in his sleep but start having really happy dreams.  He cleared his soul of all obligations that he hadn't put there.  Any Dean had put there he clearly wanted to keep so he left those alone.  He checked Sam, frowning before reducing the taint on him as well.  Sam sighed in happiness in his sleep, flipping onto his stomach to have a good dream about Jess.

Xander pouted.  He was still a good guy, just a very strange good guy.  So what sort of grown up mega Xander did he want to become?  He could be anything as long as he changed his identity.  He felt the magic shift, slowing down gradually.  One of the magical hims sighed in pleasure at the effect, giving him an idea once the magic had stopped the world for a few heartbeats.  Yeah, he could do that once Bobby cleared him.  When the magic restarted he cleared the plan from his mind in case someone was trying to snoop.  He wouldn't put it past them.

***

Xander walked up onto the porch next to Bobby a few days later.  "I need to talk to some higher magic users," he said quietly, sitting next to his feet.

"Shouldn't you be in the protections?"

"They won't come for me again, Bobby.  By the way, they're welcome."  He looked at him.  "The soul contract was broken.  The link to it in him is gone.  Even if they try to come for him, it's not there for the hellhounds to latch onto."  Bobby gaped, then smirked.  "Sam's taint is less too.  I remember how I did it in the world where I had wings so I lessened it.  He should have a few good years before it starts to grow again."  He cleared his throat.  "I need to know where some things are to set up a sanctuary."

"You think you're ready?"

"I think going to talk to them would be helpful to all of us.  Ethan can help me figure out what I need to hoard and where to find some things I'll need to set up a new identity."

"That's not a bad idea.  Anything further you've figured out?"

Xander nodded.  "I'm not going to tell you a lot though so they can't pump you for information or listen in."

"That's smart.  I'm sure they are."

"Still.  They've been trying for days.  Which is why I should probably go soon."  He frowned then cleared it up.  "I'm going to go back to the job I remember very clearly."

"Demonic concubine?" he teased.

"Nope.  Though it's not a *bad* calling.  It'd give me a lot of time to hunt the higher things."  Bobby laughed, bringing Dean and Sam.  "I broke the link, Dean."  Dean stared, mouth hanging open.  "Even if they come, there's nothing for them to grab onto."  He stood up.  "I really need to see Ethan for a few minutes.  I'll be back later?" he asked Bobby.

"That'd be fine, Xander.  We'll help where we can since you're still sane."

Xander grinned.  "Mostly.  Now and then they still pipe up to give me ideas."  That got a smirk.  "Yes, we're all smartasses too."  He looked around then disappeared, landing in the entryway of a house in England.  "Hey, Ethan, can I have a few minutes of help?" he called, heading to where he could feel him in the kitchen.  Ethan flinched, turning to stare at him.  "I'm not an attack, Ethan."

"Ripper send you?" he sneered.

"No, he turned us in to the Watchers, who're trying to kill me for Willow making another magical fucking mistake that got me multiple personalities from other mes across the universes."

"Excuse me?" he demanded.

"Willow did that scrying thing to see the other versions of herself and drug Buffy and me with her."  He sat down, looking at him.  "I'm just barely to the point where all the other versions of me aren't trying to overrule me.  I need some help finding a few things to see if they're still here, getting rid of the loot so I can set up a sanctuary, and then shift lives.  And I'm on a time constraint because the fucking Watchers are coming again sometime soon."

"Here?"

"No, where I was being watched.  I don't want to get them invaded or dead for helping me."  He leaned on the table.  "You remember your halloween thing?"  Ethan smirked and nodded.  "I'm the only one that kept any memories and skills from it.  Most people don't even remember it happened."  Ethan dropped the fork he had been stirring the contents of the pot in front of him with.  Xander floated it up for him.  "Needless to say, some of the others of me had magic.  I've been over the shielding books and the one of me who had major magic was in the Harry Potter universe so he had that sort and Willow's and your sorts of magic plus some demonic magic he had learned.  I need to know what I need to keep myself safe."

"Don't practice.  They can probably track you."

"I'm not going to once I set up a sanctuary.  Unless my life is in danger.  I have a plan.  I need to know if some of the places he looted are still around so I can go loot them and then hopefully you can help me find someone to liquidate what I find so I can set myself up in my new life."

Ethan walked over to his doorway, strengthening the shields around his house.  "Why come to me?"

"Because I understand you a bit better now," he admitted.  "The one of me with the scary magic powers had a you around him that ended up ascending into a demon during the last battle with Voldemort.  You, your Wesley snuggly and with Luna Lovegood as both yours because she had hunted you both down.  There I was a cursebreaker with a book fetish."  Ethan whimpered.  "I had a huge ass library, Ethan.  I know how I want to do it.  His memories said I can do how I want to do it, but I'll leave a huge magical spike and it'll mean I'll have to have someone to get rid of the stuff I'm looting almost immediately.  I promised the guys watching me I'd be back by tonight so they don't have to worry."

"Drop your shields," he ordered quietly.  Xander did that and he blinked.  "Bloody hell, man!  Who in the hell were you!"

Xander put them back up with a small shrug.  "In one Willow turned me into a Sividia.  Speaking of, is there a wing maintenance spell so they quit feeling funny and itching from the bent feathers?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  I can ask around."

"Please."  He pouted.  "I'm going to quit being myself anyway.  I know it's the only way to keep myself safe, Ethan. I could use a hacker because the hacker I was in one of them I don't have the full skills of.  I tried and nearly got caught last night."

"I see."  He sat down, staring at him.  "What do you want to do?"  Xander leaned over to whisper in his ear, making him shudder.  "That's breaking a lot of prime rules."

"If they feel it, they'll think I'm going back to undo what she did," he said quietly, staring into his eyes.  "Or to send myself to somewhere harmless.  I know how to change my outer signature so it's harder to find me."

Ethan considered it.  "What did you need of me?"

"Someone to change the loot over.  Someone to look over my ideas for sanctuary and to help me find the books I need for it.  I'll give you a quarter of it."

"I have money, boy."

Xander shrugged.  "I don't have much else to offer, Ethan.  Blood if you want hellmouth baby blood."

"You are?"

"Born and raised.  Which is weird because one of the me's was an assassin who had moved there a few years back from Chicago."

"That was probably your father's changed event."

"No, I was my other uncle's but he died a few decades before I was born.  So it was probably his.  He sent me to live with my current parents, my uncle and aunt there, to hide me."

"You're really all messed up."

"In one I had a hormone condition that drew every single demon and human to want to own me and I was an immortal.  I had really long hair and a unique sword fighting style that led to people getting off when they watched me dance or fight."

"I've never heard of such things," he said, considering it.  Xander concentrated and let his hormones spike.  He had tried that last night and had nearly gotten the salvage yard invaded for it.  Ethan sniffed his held-out wrist and moaned, going limp against the table.  "That's good.  Janus would be pleased."

"He's already got his amusement for the century from me, Ethan.  All it took was Willow's idea of a bonding exercise."  He brought his hormones back down, letting Ethan free of them.  He got up to open a window then came back to look at him.  "Can you help me?"

"I can.  I think it'd be amusing certainly.  Ripper would be most frustrated."

"I don't disagree with him getting Willow help but the witches he went to tried to provoke me to act so they could have a flimsy reason to do me in.  I'm trying to stay a good guy."

"I can see why.  It does glow out of your soul."  Xander put back up his shields.  "Thank you.  The demonic?"

"Sividia.  Willow changed me into one.  That's where the wing problem comes from."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I suppose we can do such things."  He turned off the burner under his dinner, taking Xander's hand when he stood up.  "No preparation?"

"I've got stuff shrunk in my pockets, Ethan."  He cast the spell and off they went, into the past.

***

Bobby looked up as Xander knocked on the door late that night, getting up to answer it.  "Cutting it close to midnight."

"It took me longer than I thought to weed out the loot I found so I can afford my own sanctuary."  He leaned on the doorframe, shaking his head when Bobby offered him inside.  "No.  I need to head.  The Council is coming.  They should be here tomorrow night."  Bobby moaned.  He held up something, letting him see it.  "Ethan found someone to help me."

Bobby took the ID to look at then at him.  "You sure?"

Xander nodded.  "It'll keep me safe.  You'll hear from me every week, Bobby.  The first week I have the sanctuary set up and warded, you'll get half the passcode and Sam'll get the other half so no one can use your email to break in."  That got a nod.  "Though I won't be living there.  I've got a real life to go find and figure out if I can stand doing."  He grinned sheepishly.  "Sam's going to laugh but I'm not heading to his domain.  Quite."

"East or west?"

"East."

"Good."

"Somewhere I can get lost if I have to."

"Even better."  He patted him on the head.  "Go.  Your car's got gas and things."

Xander shrugged.  "I'll get the weapons and leave the title in there for you.  Do whatever you need with it, Bobby."  He gave him a hug.  "Thank you for your help.  Watch for constant emails.  You're about the only ones I trust right now."  He left, going to gather his things and put them into the rental car he had gotten.  Then he headed off into the night.  A few hundred miles away he turned in his rental car once he had things at the hotel he was staying at overnight.  His new car was waiting there on him.

His sanctuary had been found and Ethan had helped him put up all the protections on it.  He had helped him craft the passkeys and code for the security system too.  And hey, it might be haunted but she agreed to be peaceful around his stuff.  He'd be there for the next week and then head to college.  He just hoped he could live up to the standards set by his other selves who had went.

***

Bobby looked at the men that pulled into his lot.  "Xander's gone, boys."  They stopped to stare at him.  "He's fully sane, doesn't want to hurt others, and he's safe.  He created a sanctuary for himself and is staying there, well away from others who might bother his other voices."

"Yet he's sane?" one demanded sarcastically.

"He said it's about what he has from the other spirits he's sucked in now."  They groaned.  "Sorry but he's fine."

"He's bloody well dangerous!  He was playing with a chaos mage yesterday."

"Yup, he told me about that.  Ethan had some contacts who could help him set up the sanctuary."  He smirked.  "Now, I'd shoo before I shoot your stupid asses."

"You wouldn't," one said.

Bobby pulled up his shotgun and shot at him.  "I can change from rock salt if you want, boys.  Not an issue.  You wouldn't be the first asshole I shot for a good reason."  They fled back to their van and off.  One had seen into the barn to see that Xander was indeed gone.  Bobby put down his shotgun and went to spread the news that the boy was fine and sane again.  He'd be fine in whatever he was going to do.  He wrote an email to Sam warning him about the Watchers Council and the emails he had coming his way.  Then he went back to his breakfast.  He'd have to clean the barn later if the boy hadn't.  Though he probably had.  He seemed like the sort to do that.  When he had finished up and cleaned up, he headed out there, finding the laptop still in there.  It'd let him have some more clues.  He settled in his porch swing to read over the histories he had available.  Yeah, the kid was strong, he could handle it.

The Many Mystical Mes 2.

Xander faced off with the admittance panel, nodding at them politely.  "You had questions?" he asked.

"Why this program?"

"Because I think I can do a lot of good using my experiences to help others who need it."

"What sort of experience do you have?" one asked him.  "Your background is a bit cloudy."

"That's because there's someone hunting for me that I'd rather not encourage to find me, sir.  I've been hunted by others and I know what it's like."  He froze the board, nodding at him since he stayed.  "You know oft he Council?"

"I do.  You're Harris then."  He nodded.  "This is your idea of hiding?"

"No, this is my idea of a new life," he said honestly.  "After college I'll head somewhere else to work until they find me there then I'll move on."

"Why are they hunting you?" another asked.  Apparently others knew the Council as well.

"Because my friend screwed up something major and it hurt me, making them think I'm going to change sides.  The Council isn't a bunch of happy people.  They're very mercenary in their ideals at times."  He unfroze the rest of them.  "I think the experiences I have helping others already will help me a lot here and it's just one way I can help others."

"Yet you don't want to go into the field?" one asked him.  She glanced at her watch then at him.  "That was a long blink, sorry."

"Not a problem, ma'am.  No, I don't.  I think I can be of more use petting the weapons that we have to take away from those who shouldn't have them.  I wouldn't mind being a backup field person but I don't want to be the main field person.  If I can be of help to any of the field guys, all they'd have to do is ask."

"I see.  You tested out of some of the beginning classes?"  Xander nodded.  "Usually we see military people who do that."

"I had some military people who did some quiet training of me so I could protect myself."

"From?"

"A group of assholes out of Great Britain," he admitted.  "They'd like to see me dead and their supporters aren't much different."

"Oh, I see."  She considered it.  "Could that endanger your lab?"

"Ma'am, with all due respect, I changed my identity to get away from them.  As soon as I'm taken into a lab, I'll be letting my boss know about the threat so he's warned if they suddenly show up for me and I have to hide and/or run from them for a bit.  I've already started to work on safety contingency plans in case they show up.  For now, I need to do my college courses so I can get a good job.  I refuse to work fast food forever and it'd be easier to find me.  The training I already have fits in well with the training you'll give me and the new training will help me not only protect myself but others."

"You know you'll have to go to the academy for most positions?" one asked.

Xander nodded.  "That's not a problem for me.  I'm in pretty good shape."  He grinned. "Being stalked does that for you."

"I'm sure it does.  You're very open about it."

"Sir, if I thought any of you were reporting back to them, I'd never have said a word.  I do know most officers and people in various governments around the world hate these people.  I can gladly join their ranks."

"What's more important to you if it comes down to a case where someone new will die or them getting you?" the one who knew asked.

Xander considered it.  "I'm hoping I'm good enough to hide myself but finish that case before I leave.  If not, I'd definitely have someone told what I know and can prove and then watch them while avoiding the hunt team.  I'm good enough for that.  I've avoided them for years."

"Is this why your background seems a bit flimsy?" the female member asked.

"It is.  I can tell you I did graduate the standard US high school on the west coast.  Including our graduation test that we have to pass to walk.  I can tell you that I was working construction after that and some fast food jobs before then."  They nodded. "I can tell you I'm originally from California, but I also know that they have hacker who're looking for certain facts to come into the open somewhere.  That's why I volunteered to take the placement tests and to CLEP out of some classes."

"Which was wise of you," the female agreed.  "How much do you already know about weapons?"

"Quite a lot.  The ones who trained me made sure I had a good handle on most things weapony.  Handguns especially but I also know a lot about esoteric and ancient weapons.  Swords, axes, crossbows.  That won't be put anywhere because it could lead them back to me, but I have worked with someone who had a good sized collection that I helped maintain.  I'm actually a crack shot with a crossbow or a handgun."

"Very interesting," she decided.  "What happens if they show up while you're here?"

"I picked a larger school so I could get lost if I had to, but if it's absolutely imperative that I leave, I'll transfer to another program.  At that time, my old teachers would know the new name I'd be going by so they could talk to my new ones and give them warnings like I'm bouncy on chocolate."  That got a smile from two of the five members.  "All I'm asking for is to try, ma'am.  I want to help others.  I really do.  I simply need to be a bit cautious about who I really am while doing that.  I'd be a fireman but that takes a special brand of heroic insanity to run into a burning building with an explosive-capable tank on your back.  I don't think I have that sort of special insanity.  Lesser versions but not that one."

"That's a good way of putting it," one of them agreed.  He looked at the others.  "It's clear you have potential.  How likely is it that they'll find you within a few years?"

"I'll finish here, go somewhere else far away to work, and probably be there at least three to five years before they find me hopefully.  I've muddied my backtrail very well so far."

They nodded.  "Then we'll accept you and hope that you have the time you need to complete your studies plus you can find a very understanding boss."

Xander grinned.  "I have a short list based on what I've heard around."  They all smiled back.  "Thank you, ma'am and sirs."  He nodded and left, going to get happy in the halls.  The other candidates glared at him.  He just smiled, going to have a beer.  Drinking still calmed down a lot of the memories so he had a quieter head for a night.  If he was lucky he might even get to pick up a hooker.  Even if half the voices were complaining that they were female.

***

Bobby met the boys at the sanctuary house Xander had set up, with his knowledge and permission.  He wasn't going to go behind the boy's back.  "Boys."

"Sorry it took us so long.  Kinda had a gas shortage on the way here.  No stations," Dean offered as he got out, coming over to look at the door.  "Any funky ritual?"

"I've got my half of the security code and our necklace," Sam said, walking over.  Bobby held up his.  "Which of the codes goes first?"

"Don't know yet."  They put their pendants on the door, watching as it opened.  Beside it was the standard keypad.  It had two buttons with their names on it.  Sam put in his then pushed his button.  It didn't take it so he pushed his button then put in the code.  Bobby did the same for his.  It let them wander around the house, shutting the door behind them.

The ghost came down to stare at them.  "Who're you?" she asked.

"I'm Sam, this is my brother Dean, and this is Bobby," Sam introduced.

"He said you might show up.  Don't banish me.  I'm part of the protections.  I agreed so I wouldn't have to deal with my family in the afterlife."  She floated off again.

"Sounds reasonable to me," Bobby agreed.  "Figure John's probably bitching and moaning somewhere."  Dean nodded and Sam just snickered.  They looked in the rooms.  The first was a nice, normal looking living room.  Next came the huge library that was clearly magical since the house wasn't as tall as it was inside.  "Maybe he went to that world with the booknerd him and got some of his spares?" Bobby guessed.

Dean went to look at the nearest shelf.  "Not really.  This one's nearly mythical," he said, waving it.  "Magic book."  Bobby groaned, coming closer to look them over.  Xander had a very good collection going.  Magic books, theory, other subjects as diverse as philosophy and literature to hard sciences.  "Textbooks?" he said with a point.

"He's in school," Bobby said quietly.  "Somewhere east of my place."

"Chicago," Sam told him.  That got a nod and they moved on.  The kitchen was nicely appropriated for the seventies. "Can he cook?"

"He wasn't sure.  A few of those lives he was poisonous and one he was nearly a gourmet," Bobby admitted.  That got a nod and they kept looking.  They found rooms upstairs with their names on them.  Nice looking bedrooms for them to stay in.  Dean found the armory and the garage next to each other, letting out a moan so loud Sam looked around for the nude Playboy Bunny he had seen.  Bobby swatted him for it.  "Car or guns?" he called.

"Both, and I'm *so* willing to go on my back to pet them."

"He's not here so I doubt he'd mind," Bobby said, following his voice to where he was.  He moaned too.  The boy had an armory in case of armageddon and it's little sister showing up, plus the ATF raiding.  He checked, there were survival supplies too.  He opened a case, letting Dean see it was empty.

"This one's full," Sam said in awe.  "I've only seen these in movies."

"Does that mean the empty ones he's got with him?" Dean asked.

"Possibly," Bobby admitted.  "Or he had to use them."   They looked over the gun, sword, and artillery collection, getting very happy with it.  There was a closet with a sign that said it was hunter's supplies.  Inside was rock salt, shells with rock salt, silver bullets, all sorts of holy water containers.  Things they'd need to hunt something down.  "He did good," Bobby decided.  They went to check out the attic, finding the ghost again.  She huffed and floated off again.  "Just looking, ma'am. You can have it."  He headed back downstairs, going back to the library.  "Well, I know where I'll be if I ever need a book."  He found the paranormal section, looking it over. "Some of these are mythical and lost to time.  How did he..."  He groaned.  "Yup, he probably did to set all this up in a day or so."

"Probably," Dean agreed.  He opened up a hidden bookcase door he spotted, finding the safe.  "Sammy, come use your code here?"  Sam did since it had a button with his name on it.  Bobby got his half put in and the safe's door opened, making them blink at the money and gems.  "Damn!" Dean said in awe.  "We inherit this if he dies?"

"Probably," Bobby agreed.  He stopped Dean from picking up any.  "You don't know if he's cursed any of them."

Sam called Xander's current cellphone.  "Dean wants to pet the pretty stuff in the hidden vault in the library.  You mind?"  He grinned.  "Looking over the library.  Did you mind?"  He beamed.  "He said to go ahead, Dean.  Don't touch any of the boxed red stones.  Oh, Bobby he said you can have the one in the blue box.  Thanks, Xavier.  Yeah, we're cool.  Thanks, man.  Send emails more often."  He grinned.  "Good for you.  Are you remembering to eat?"  He groaned and said he'd go do that, hanging up.  "He's not but he's going to eat soon."

"Probably a good idea."  He found the blue box and looked inside, frowning at the blood colored stone with red highlights.  "What type of stone are you?"

Dean looked at the box since there was a label on the bottom.  "Philosopher's...  really?"  He took it to close and look at the instructions printed.

Bobby snatched it.  "Give me that.  It's mine."  He read it, eyes going wide.  "How in the hell did he do that?"

"No idea," Sam admitted.  He tossed Dean some of the shiny stuff and money.  "Here, cop a feel."  Dean sat down to do that.  "Think it'd work?"

"I think so since inside the box is a small vial with EoL on it."  They shared a look and Bobby went to the small lab he had set up to test it.  Sam closed the vault and let Dean play with the shiny stuff all he wanted.  Not like they had ever seen bundles of money or uncut gems before.

"God damn this works!" Bobby shouted a bit later.

Dean looked up from his counting money.  "Really?" he called.  He got up to look, finding a cut Bobby had put on his arm healing quickly.  "Hey, that's handy to have."

"I'll make you boys a few vials in case."  He looked at them.  "We really can't tell about any of this."

"Never would anyway," Dean admitted.  He went back to the library.  Sam had his nose in a book.  "We staying the night?"

"Probably should since there's a good storm coming," he agreed absently.  "You done with the money?"

"Nope.  I'm still trying to figure out how many strippers I could tip with this."

Sam lowered the book to look at him.  "Is that all you ever think about?"

"No, not always.  Hunting evil bitches and food come right after it," he offered with a happy grin.

Sam shook his head, going back to reading.  Bobby came in and helped Dean clean up his neat little mess.  "Is there food or should we run out before the thunderstorm hits, Bobby?"

"There's supplies."  Dean went to cook dinner for them, letting the ghost watch over his shoulder and correct his technique, but they were pushy that way.  He looked at Sam.  "Anything good in that one?"

"One I didn't get to finish in class."  He grinned at him.  "Dean was counting stripper's g-strings."

"I'm sure he was.  For that money he could buy himself a wife instead.  It'd be easier."

"Can you suggest that?" Sam asked with an evil grin.  "Just so we can see the look on his face?"

"I can do that."  He waited until Dean walked in with grilled cheese and soup.  "Dean, you going to use some of that to buy a mail order wife finally?  Since no American woman would put up with you?"

"Hell no!" he snorted, giving him an odd look.  "I can rent instead of buying.  It's cheaper and I don't have to put up with more than my sister Sammy nagging me."

"I'm sure there's a book in here that can make you see I'm not a girl," Sam offered casually.  Dean stomped off.

Bobby looked and pointed.  "There.  I know that one's got a gender switching spell.  He confiscated them from Rosenburg.  They were in his car so I got to look through them."  Sam gave him an evil, wicked smirk.  "He'll fuss and call your daddy back from wherever he is now, Samuel.  I wouldn't try it."

"Pity."  He went back to reading, reaching over to get his bowl and sandwiches.  "Thanks for making dinner, Deanella."

"Bitch, I'll beat your ass," Dean said as he came back in.

"I'm sure you will, jerk, but that's all right.  Some day I'll have nieces and nephews even if I do have to use that gender spell Rosenburg created."

"You do that and I'll make sure you *never* sit again," Dean said coolly.  Sam just grinned.  "I mean it, Sammy."

"Uh-huh.  Then I'd give me some sometime.  That way I have someone to spoil.  Huh?"  He went back to reading and eating.  He was talented that way.

"Calm down, Dean.  If he did that, John would come back to life to beat his ass for you."

"He'd have to stand in line."  He sat down with his own dinner, eating quickly.  "Think he's listening in?"

"Maybe," Sam agreed.  "But he knows I need someone to fuss over sometimes.  Get sick again, Dean.  Please?"

"Hell no."

Bobby laughed.  "Behave, boys.  Really."  He dug into his own dinner once he had a book to read through.  Xander even had a very liberal lending policy so he was happy being a research nerd today.

***

"Mr. Elmore, nice to have you awake and with us again," the teacher said loudly when Xander shook himself from his thoughts.

"I was awake, Professor.  I was thinking."  He looked at him.  "I didn't think we were going over anything else."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Wondering if you added the right hydrocarbons to lead in a liquid state, then cooled it to a solid state after burning off the impurities if you'd have true gold or not.  I found a great book suggesting that you could do it and it looked reasonable enough but I don't have the advanced chemistry to try it yet."  He gave him a look.  "I was also thinking about the guy who offered me artillery petting time yesterday and trying to figure out if he had the authority to do that."

"Is he military?" the teacher asked.

"No."

"Then no, he doesn't, and you should turn him in because it's illegal to own."  He stared at him.  "Why do you think this was appropriate thoughts for class time, Mr. Elmore?"

"Because class ended twenty minutes ago?" he guessed.  The professor looked at his watch and groaned, releasing them.  He shrugged.  "I waited."

"Fine.  You really should turn them in."  He kept the boy from moving from his seat.  "If the government finds out about him he would be in a lot of trouble, Xavier."

Xander nodded.  "I know that but he's not American."

"He's a foreign national?" he demanded.  "That's even worse!"

"He's British.  Not like they're going to attack us."

"British?"

"Yeah."

"Not Irish and possibly IRA or anything like that?" the teacher pressed.

"No, he and his research group are up by Stonehenge.  Though he did invite me to their Leed's warehouse and training facility to look over what they have.  They wanted me as a future ballistics tech."

"You should turn them in."

Xander shrugged.  "I'm a student.  Who'd believe me?"  He gathered his books.  "If you want to, go ahead.  His name's Travers.  His father runs the group of paranormal research nerds who have armageddon planned for."

"I see."  He took down that information.  "Any idea where by Stonehenge?  I know there's a military base there."

"Nope.  I know they picked it for the mystical site it is."  He shrugged.  "They research vampires and fairies and things."

"Uh-huh.  Then they really don't need those sort of weapons or a tech of your future skills, Xavier.  Go to your next class and I'll have a quiet word with someone about them.  Thank you."  Xander grinned and nodded, leaving to go to chemistry once he had a soda.  He had some time to walk that far.  The professor went to his office to get his jacket and then across the campus to catch a cab so he could see a former student who was now a federal agent.  "Do you have a few minutes?" he asked when he came to the desk to get him.  "One of my present students got offered some artillery petting time by a British national."

"That's creepy."

"Who studies vampires and fairies according to him."

"Even creepier.  Sure, Professor, I can take that information and look into it."  He led him back to his office so they could talk.  He definitely didn't want people like that in *his* city or country.

***

Xander watched that night as the BBC news they showed on the local PBS station showed the Watchers Council being raided for weapons.  He toasted the tv with his mug of cocoa, then grinned and went back to his internet surfing.  That chemistry idea for alchemy worked pretty well.  The gold bar next to him got another pet.  He'd have to test it to make sure it was pure gold and then figure out what to do with it.  He decided to go back to the college to do that after watching them walk Travers out in handcuffs, nearly dragging him to the paddywagon full of watchers who were in trouble with the government.  He was so happy he could almost dance and kiss a girl.  The voices complained and reminded him guys were better for him, less evil and trying to kill him.  He told them to shut up, he liked breasts.  One took over and sent him to a local gay bar, helping him hit on someone so they could show him now nice it was.  Xander didn't get back to the lab until ten the next morning and he was grinning a silly grin.  Even if he did still like breasts.

***

Bobby choked, watching the news going on.  "That's nearly evil of him."

"It protects him better," Ellen said from the end of the bar.  "Are they Watchers?"

"Yup.  That's their main building."  He grinned.  "The Brits have tougher gun laws.  They're in deep when they find their apocalypse supplies."

"Hopefully they have it hidden by magic."

"Probably not.  They're too arrogant to do that."  They smirked at each other and called a few friends to share the good news.  They'd be leaving the hunters alone for a good, long time now.  Xander's plan had been a good one.

***

Xander faced down his chemistry professor, blinking his eyes at him.  "Why is there a problem with the test I was running?"

"I was wanting to know why you were testing a chunk of gold, Mr. Elmore.  It's illegal to own chunk gold in the US."

"I found it."  He held up the chunk that he had been found with.  "I wanted to make sure that's what it was before I took it to a pawn shop."

"Where did you *find* it?" he asked dryly.

"Okay, well, I made it," he admitted.  The teacher sneered.  "It's not hard."  He walked over to the table.  "Give me a piece of lead please?"  He started what he needed and showed him what he had done.  The lead turned in the melted stage once it was purified and the solution added, then he poured it into a mold to cool off.  "See?  I was testing to see how pure it was."

"How did you figure that out?" the teacher asked calmly.  Xander pointed at the book.  "I see."  He took it to look at, then at him.  "This uses a different purifying solution."

"It was written before 1900, I figured they didn't have all the chemicals back then and this one was nicer.  That's what I was testing, to see how well it purified it."

"I do not want you to do this again," he ordered quietly.  "It's illegal to own chunk gold."

"Yes, Professor.  I'm sorry.  Can I still take these two chunks to the pawn shop if I can turn them from chunks?  Maybe into a pressed chain or something?"  He considered it.  "It'd help pay for my tuition."

"Fine.  Do not do it again and write down the recipe."  Xander wrote it down for him, letting him have it and the book.  He'd be trying it later of course.  Something like this would get him internationally known and famous!

Xander melted the gold down to reform into something better for shipping to Dean, Sam, and Bobby as presents.   Not like he needed the money.  Small gold balls would be nicer of him he decided.  They had that mold there for working with lead during the hand-packed bullets lectures. It was easy enough to use with the crucible burner.

***

Sam looked at the package that landed between them on the car's seat, picking it up to look at the card.  "Xander."

"We don't know anyone else who'd send us presents magically.  It's not my birthday so what did he send?"

"A copy of a book and some small... gold balls," he said, holding one up to look at.  Dean pulled over suddenly, turning to look at them.  "The book is on alchemy.  It's got a handwritten formula in the front."

"Oh, man!" Dean said, picking it up to look at.  "Think they're real?"

"Yeah, I do."  He pulled out the folded paper underneath it with the test results.  "Twenty-two carat."

"That's ...wow.  That's a present.  Think they'd fit in our shotgun shells if we had to?"

"Probably or we could use them as jewelry.  Say an ex melted necklaces or something on us."  Dean beamed and nodded, putting them in the glove box.  "The note on the bottom of the test result said that Bobby got his own set too."

"I'm sure he's happily petting them."

"Probably," Sam agreed.  Dean turned up the music and drove off happier.  He had been sulky earlier about the spirit getting him into a wall to knock him out.  Now, Dean was a happy boy.  Xander had a great effect on him.

***

Six weeks later, the watchers managed to finally get back together.  Those on bail had to sneak around to this meeting but the rest weren't sneering at the moment.  Travers sat down last and called the meeting to order.  "We have got to find a way to take that boy out before he causes more harm."

"I asked the ones he still keeps in contact with," Wesley said from his spot.  He had been drugged, put on a plane, shipped back, and brought in wearing cuffs.  "They said if you had left the boy alone, he wouldn't have acted against us."  He shifted some, getting comfortable.  "He's paranoid about his safety.  Of course he's reacting to take the threat out of his life, Travers."

"Who asked you?" he demanded.

"I'd assume you did since you had me kidnaped."

Travers looked at his second-in-command.  "You did?"

"He has information on the boy."

"I also have reports from the hunters who watched over him and helped him get back onto firm mental footing.  I have a nice, glowing letter from Ethan Rayne how the boy came to him for help and offered something nice for it.  Xander has put up a place of sanctuary for himself.  He's no threat to normal people or to us unless we don't leave him alone," Wesley said more firmly.  "You had that stupid team go after the hunters that helped him heal after his best friend turned on him.  Of course he reacted to protect them.  They're the only ones he trusts anymore."

"I don't care.  He's still a danger.  There's no telling what sort of taint he got given," Travers sneered.

Wesley opened the file that had been magiced to him earlier.  "According to the life histories he did of the ones he saw when Miss Rosenburg did the spell against his will, the only tainted body was a Sividia she turned him into.  The only effects he carries from that are the wings, which do react to holy water and holy objects but don't set off Miss Summer's slayer instincts as something tainted or any telling spells the hunters could come up with magically."  He looked up.

"In a few he had magic, in one he had an extreme hormone condition that made him attractive to every demon and human alive.  The hunters he sheltered with did say that his magic was now active.  They had taught him how to shield himself.  Ethan Rayne's analysis of what sorts of magic he can do did include demonic magic but not Sividia type of magic."  He tossed that report down.  "He sent it at Xander's urging because the boy knew you'd panic and cause a problem for him.  Right now all he wants to do is hide and finish healing himself.  He's cut all ties to Sunnydale and his old life."

Travers looked the record over.  "We can trust this Rayne chap?"

"He's the high priest to Janus, a former friend and now nemesis of Rupert's," Wesley offered.  "That Halloween thing was his doing."  Travers shuddered because he had seen that report.  "The boy gave him a good incentive to help him set up a sanctuary.  Probably some knowledge from the other realms or something.  They set up a totally hidden, nearly inaccessible residence for the boy with teaching materials so he can learn how not to bollix things up like Rosenburg did.  He let those hunters that helped him in there to look around. It's well set up for self-defense and has a large library of research texts."  He cleared his throat.  "I work with his ex-girlfriend.  One who's known him since grade school, Travers.  Even she said the boy's only reacting to the threat we're putting toward him.  If we leave him alone, he's more than willing to lay low and finish healing himself.  She said he's told her it's like his other possessions at the moment."

"He kept them?" another watcher asked.

"From both that we know about," Wesley agreed.  "Halloween gave him the memories of a soldier.  The other was a primal spirit, a hyena, that a careless sorcerer was trying to attempt during a school trip."

"What other lives did he see?" Travers demanded.

He shoved the records down.  It wasn't the full record by any means.  He knew it had been altered.  He knew the hunters who had sheltered Xander and knew they wouldn't let the full account get into their hands.  "One of your own tested him in Mexico right afterward when he went to drink himself into a stupor while asking those hunters to make sure he wasn't a threat.  And yes, that bone is demonic, not human.  I had Angel's contacts check it for him.  It's Mohra demon."  He leaned back.

Travers read over the records, then passed them on.  "This hormone condition?"

Wesley shrugged.  "I doubt he can manifest it here.  That would screw up his body chemistry greatly.  That's why that life was so cloudy-minded and drew so many demons to him.  Xander's fallen back to self-defense instead of city and world defense with the slayers.  Not that I blame him.  I would've flamed Rosenburg into charcoal for doing that against my will."

"Who said he didn't ask?" one asked him.

"Even Rosenburg herself admitted that he and Miss Summers refused to do the spell with her," another told him.  "She did it anyway, not realizing it would draw them in because she was thinking about them.  Which points to shoddy magical education."

"She stole books and Rupert never could keep her out of them," Wesley told them.  "When he called for help, you lot shoved him off about it.  Considering she had just stuck a soul back in a vampire, I think that's probably being shown as the wrong decision."  He looked at Travers again.  "That wasn't the first spell she messed up.  We all know that."  They all nodded.  "Thankfully we don't have to deal with the one where she turned him into an infant."

"That would be cute," one said with an evil smirk.

"Yes, but then someone would have to watch over him," Wesley pointed out.  "He is a demon magnet and chaos magic is drawn to him.  Which would expose untold thousands of people to it the first time a demon went into the school to play with him because he was bored."  They all shuddered at that.  "I can contact those hunters and have them ask Xander for a truce as long as you're willing to honor it.  They're keeping a firm eye on him from a distance to make sure he's still not a danger to others.  I've been told he talks to the older hunter who took charge of him every week and the others routinely."

"He still acted against the council," Travers said.

"Because you acted against him," Wesley agreed calmly.  "How bloody arrogant of you to punish the boy for being a victim.  Do you often burn rape victims as well?"  He stood up and released the cuffs, handing them over.  "I'd leave the boy alone.  After all, that was mild and a warning I'm sure.  If he can really pull up the talents of those other lives, do you want to force him to start thinking about what they can do and see if he can use it offensively?  He was the one who took off a vampire's head with a rubber wire."  He took the folder back and walked off.  On the way he called Bobby's house.  "I tried. They're stubborn and won't listen."

Travers looked around.  "Now that the woose is out of the way, anyone have any constructive ideas?  The boy could be dangerous."

"Actually, I think if we left him alone and simply watched him it might make him relax," one said.  "That way we could pick him up when he's less paranoid and less apt to react badly to us."  Travers glared at him.  "Doing so now would make him react magically most likely.  Using skills he doesn't understand or know how to harness.  It's entirely possible he could cause an apocalypse that way.  If we give him some time to calm down, perhaps he won't struggle too much.  He'll realize how futile it is and how he'll never be fully healed.  He might even come to us to have us help him since those sort of hunters don't really act all that often with witches helping."

"Frankly, a few of those lives scared some of us," another agreed.  "If he's pushed and he pulls up those sividia skills, then we're all doomed, Travers.  I've watched that group when they were first together.  The girls would push Harris and he'd out-stubborn them and push back until they gave in.  Many times.   I wouldn't put it past him to heal actually.  He's known to be a bit odd.  No one else keeps full memories and skills from a primal possession by a hyena spirit.  No one else almost got turned into a merman and then detoxed either.  That boy did and I'm sure we can figure things out.  After all, even the time he got diseased by some spirits wasn't normal."

Travers leaned back considering that, tapping his chin with his joined fingertips.  "We need something there to react swiftly if he does start to use magic or anything else that could constitute a threat."

"We can't find him," one pointed out.  "He's changed his identity.  Rayne's letter said that he changed his outward magical signature as well.  No tracking spells work on him.  We have no idea if he's still even in the US."

"Rosenburg could find him," Travers pointed out.  "They were close.  I'm sure she has blood or something of his.  Get it and bring her to me.  I've got an idea of how to handle him."  They nodded, going to do that.  The witches in Devon weren't pleased but they let her go to see him.  "Miss Rosenburg.  We are faced with a quandary," he told her.  She shrugged.  "Your reckless actions have led to your best friend becoming a threat to the world.  He's gone into hiding to start whatever nefarious plan he's plotting."

She snorted.  "Xander's not like that.  The only plans he'd have are self-defense against you guys."

"So Wesley said but we do doubt that.  We have plans to put a single watcher on him.  That way they could act if they find he's going dark."

She shook her head.  "Have fun with that."

"We need whatever of his that you have.  He's managed to shield himself.  Which is proof to many of us that he's already gone dark and is now threatening everyone."

She shook her head, standing up again.  "No he's not."

"We don't know that."

"I know Xander."

"This has changed him.  He's not working anywhere.  We're not sure if he's changed his name or not."

"You tried to hunt him down like a rabid dog and he's not more than a fluffy puppy with some obedience training."  He tossed over the letter from Ethan Rayne.  She read it then scowled.  "He went to Ethan?"

"Which is a clear sign that he's going dark," he agreed.

"I'm still not helping you.  You want him that bad, find him yourself."

"No, you'll find him for us and do the spell to set a magical watcher on him or you'll be in one of the cells we have before daybreak for endangering the world, young lady.  Then you'll be before a tribunal by dinner so you can have your last meal tomorrow night," he said coolly.

"Go for it."

"Your magic is bound."

She shook her head.  "No it's not.  I removed that long ago."  He glared.  She smirked back.  "Remember, Xander's the nice one."  She walked out calling Buffy.   "Travers is an idiot and he wants me to hunt down Xander for him.  He threatened to have me killed, Buffy.  No, I'm not."  She hung up and looked up then sent a spell winging into the night on a prayer to the goddess.  She might've screwed up mightily this time but she would protect Xander any way she could.

She felt something latch onto the spell and the 'watcher' that Travers wanted done was attached to it.  She growled and changed the spell while they were working it.  "No way you're doing that, buddy.  Ain't no way.  There will be justice this time even if it does kill me.  Tara's already disappointed enough in me."  She let the spell finish once she had modified it then smirked.  "Let's see them deal with that."  She found her escort.  "Let's go.  They just threatened to kill me if I wouldn't help them hunt Xander down even though he's not dangerous and he's shown he's not dangerous."

"He talked with that Rayne person," she said primly.

Willow snorted.  "Yeah, to help him set up a sanctuary where he could finish healing.  Protected from the assholes like them who want to hurt him just because I screwed up."  She disappeared, making the other witch gasp.  She reappeared in their room.  "Pack, Tara.  I've had enough of the uptight bitch patrol here."  Tara scowled.  "I don't care.  They still want to hunt Xander down even though he's not doing harm.  If I have to go protect him by myself I will."  She nodded, moving to pack their things.  Willow heard the other witches coming and packed them magically, grabbing their cat, their bags, and her girlfriend to leave with her right then.  They landed in the Magic Box.  "No way am I going to risk you to their stupid thinking," she said quietly.  "They'd kill us both."  She took a quick kiss, handing over the cat.  "Xander's in the midwest."

"You going will lead them there," Buffy reminded her.

"I forgot about that."  She looked at her.  "I did manage to get their spell warped so it couldn't hurt him if it wasn't just."  Buffy smiled and Tara beamed at her for that.  "There's no way Xander's going to go evil.  Even in the ones where he went dark he never went evil."  She looked around.  "Giles?"

"Getting tea.  They've already called.  That's why he's getting tea."  Giles walked in.  "See, with tea in hand."

"Eww, tea," Willow said with a shudder.  "I've seen enough of tea."

"You shouldn't be back here yet."

"Travers threatened to kill me for not helping him destroy Xander and the witches were going to back him up on that.  Sorry, not happening."

Giles looked at her.  "Then I would voluntarily bind yourself, Willow.  Defensive magic only."  She nodded, going to do that with Tara's help.  "Any idea if she brought Wesley back as well?"

"No.  I can get him if you want before I do this," Willow offered.

"Let me call him first."  He called.  "Wesley, Willow and Tara have returned.  Do you need saved as well?"  He smiled.  "That's better then.  Yes, we'll see you soon."  He hung up.  "He's having dinner with his sister.  So far he's all right."

"Good."

***

Xander looked out his window at the feeling of magic going off outside.  He frowned, grabbing something and heading down there.  He saw the older man, who looked very pissed.  "Candy bar?" he asked, holding one out.  "Traveling like that can make your blood sugar drop."  The guy pulled a gun on him but hesitated.  "Which one of the brilliant bitches of the universe sent you at me?"

"Who are you?"

"Now, Xavier Elmore."  He moved closer.  "Formerly Xander Harris, out of Sunnydale," he said quietly, staring at him.  He moved against the gun.  "You were sent to kill me because my best friend is a witch who screwed up majorly and I kept the memories and skills when her spell exposed me to other versions of me across the realms."

"The only one who's done that went insane."

"I don't know if she is or not.  I know the witches tried to provoke me into doing bad things to take me out.  I know the Watchers Council is doing the same thing by hunting me down.  I know one of them sent you.  So if you're going to shoot me, shoot me."

"For some reason I can't."

"Come upstairs.  We can figure out what they did wrong.  What's your name anyway?"  Though he knew, a few voices were merrily cackling in the back of his head about this turn of events.

"John Winchester."

"Your sons and Bobby helped me heal and made sure I wasn't going to go dark and evil."  John flinched at that.  "So they pulled you back and sicced you on me.  Not nice of them.  I should turn them into the government again."  He nodded.  "C'mon.  There's coffee upstairs and we can see if they did anything wrong.  Plus you can call them.  I have them on speed dial in case I start to slip."  John grimaced but followed him.  He waved at his neighbor.

"Someone sent my uncle to watch over me.  They think I'll get into trouble," he said with a grin.  The older woman closed the door and left them alone.  Xander let them into his place, watching as John stepped over his warding line.  "Coffee's in the kitchen. Phone too.  Magic stuff is behind the kitchen so we can check.  Hit the potty first if you want."  He moved to call Bobby himself at the scowl.  "Bobby, I have a small issue.  No, someone pulled the boys' father back to kill me."  He handed over the phone.

"Bobby?"  He listened to the ranting.  "The Watchers I think.  It was a male power that yanked me.  Yeah, there I was."  He looked at the boy.  "What is going on?"  He listened to the short report, nodding some.  "Okay.  Can he test me for taint and things?"  Xander nodded.  Bobby agreed with him.  "Is he safe?  For some reason I can't shoot him even though it seems like the voice in my head is screaming at me to."

"I love compulsion spells," Xander said dryly.  "So do they."  He went to get him a cup of coffee and then set up to do a telling spell on him.  He came out to find him off the phone and drinking the coffee on the couch.  "C'mon, we'll make sure they didn't botch it."  John followed him, letting him see the large mirror on the wall.  "So you can tell taint and other things yourself.  I'll cast it and step out of the way unless I have to remove something.  I've been studying since she woke whatever gifts I had up."  That got a nod so he lit the candles and did the spell for him, letting John look at himself.  "Hmm.  Pulled from heaven.  Wrongness right there," he said with a point.

"That's a bad thing," John said.  Xander came closer to do something and it faded.  "How did you do that?"

"One of the other selves I saw the same witch had turned into a sividia.  One of hell's generals," he said with a slight grin.  "I only kept the wings and the magic knowledge, John.  As long as they're gone, I don't react to anything holy."

"Bobby said that."

"I wrote Sam and Dean an email to come get me so I could be watched over.  That way no one had to worry about me being an apocalypse in the making," Xander said quietly.  "I was familiar with them from some of the other lives I saw.  They took me to Bobby's barn and let me stay there while I calmed down from the insanity spike that was making me drink.  Bobby helped me sort out the voices so they're like shoulder angels who nag about me being het now and then."  John gave him an odd look.  "For some reason, most of them were gay.  The rest were bi."

"How were you familiar with them?"

"In the one where she changed me into a sividia, I was mated to Sam because of his taint.  It protected both of us and we held Sunnydale as a refuge for peaceful demons.  I had pulled you and Dean back from hell to help me clean out the hunters," he said, staring at him.  "In another I was mentoring them with their new found hormone conditions and slight case of immortality.  In another I was with Dean," he finished quietly.  "I knew they'd be fair.  They'd warn me if I was starting near the line and if I exploded, Dean could handle it if Bobby couldn't or I was too out of it to realize it and do it myself."

"That's a reasonable precaution but hell on my son's soul."

"Better that than me sneezing and accidentally destroying a state, right?  Because I'm fairly powerful now."

"Then it's very reasonable.  Define powerful."  Xander did the same telling spell on himself and dropped his shields, making John flinch away.  "Hell."

Xander reshielded and canceled the spells.  "Only in that one but I was turned against my will and still doing good."  He gave him a look.  "I'm trying to study.  There's a spare room in case one of them wanted to drop by and check on me.  They're the only ones outside of you who know where I am."

"That's understandable, kid."

"Xavier now."

"Xavier then."  He followed him back to get more coffee, thinking about it.  "Then why pull me back?"

"Because the Watchers decided I'm bad and you hunted bad things," he said bluntly.  "You couldn't be associated with them if you were caught.  The other hunters wouldn't say a thing to you about it.  It'd keep their hands clean."

"I guess."  He sat down, watching the boy go back to his textbooks.  "What're you studying?"

"Chemistry.  We have a new teacher after I helped the last one leave the field.  He was brewing drugs and I didn't want that endangering anyone."  He looked over.  "I'm studying to be a ballistics tech.  I was in a few of those other places.  I love guns.  I'll still get to help people.  I can be safe in a lab but still playing with guns."  That got a nod.  "Plus it'll help me if they catch me later."

"They might give up."

"No they won't.  They'll never give up.  They want to study how I did it more than take me out in case I might be a bad guy in disguise.  Actually, you being here means that I've got another morality monitor.  With that 'justice' spell on you, it'll mean you'll still end up going for a shotgun if I suddenly slip into starting down Willow's path but it'd mean I'd have someone I could bounce ideas off of."  He looked at him again.  "You could be like a favorite uncle who'd kick my ass for dating the next time."  He grinned.  "Or you could call your boys.  I'm sure they want to hear from you."

"How are you affording this?"

Xander grinned.  "I've got mad skills suddenly, John.  One of my other selves was a cursebreaker."

"Aren't you worried someone will hear you?"

"I shielded the apartment.  The lady next door is nice but if she hears anything I'd be shocked.  If so," he shrugged. "We'll handle it."  That got a nod.  He could see the itch starting to go after him.  "Calm down.  Not that way."  He went back to his studying.  "I've got a sanctuary set up.  It's got my research library and all that stuff.  Sam and Bobby have the joint passkeys needed to get in and the security code."

"Not a bad idea."

"It's where I stored stuff."

"Ah."  He nodded, getting up to grab the phone.  "You sure you don't mind?"

"I made gold yesterday.  Go ahead," he said with a wave of his hand.

"How?" he demanded.  He'd ignore that his voice seemed to squeak there for a second.

Xander grinned.  "I used chemistry.  Just like I taught that teacher how to."  They shared a look and Xander grinned brighter.  "Plus I went tomb raiding."  He went back to his textbook.  "Dean's phone is speed dial two, Bobby's one, and Sam's five since the pizza places are three and four.  I'm not sure if I can cook or not.  In a few I was poisonous and in one I was nearly a chef."  He frowned then let it clear up.  "I'm sticking with simple things at the moment so I don't have to poison myself."

"We can test that later."  He dialed Dean's phone.  "Son."  He winced at the squeal of the brakes.  "I know it's a shock.  Please don't wreck the Impala, Dean."  He came out to sit down again.  "I'm with Xander, you're right.  The Watchers did so they'd have a convenient hunter here."  He looked at the boy.  "Chemistry."  He smiled.  "Yes he is.  You turned them in for weapons?"

"Yuppers.  Had fun watching the Brits arrest them too.  They were not happy with the Leeds training facility and apocalypse vault."  Xander gave him a smug look.  Then he went back to studying.  "Hey, Dean, get the present?" he called.

John nodded.  "He said thank you.  They're very pretty."  Xander just grinned and took a sip of his coffee.  "How are you two?  Where is Sammy?"  He listened to him.  "That's good to know.  Yeah, that's what they did."  He listened to his son put down the phone and get out of the car to swear, the get back in a minute later.  "You feel better now?" he asked dryly.  He laughed.  "I'm sure he will too.  Yes, I'm sitting here looking at him, son.  Because someone created a clause on the compulsion that it had to be just."  He laughed.  "I know.  All boys are like that now and then," he assured him.  "Even you, Dean."  He relaxed.  "That's good to know.  Sure, pop up when you're nearby.  Go ahead and tell him.  No, Xander made sure to end the wrongness I came back with.  Thank you, Dean."  He hung up and leaned his head back.  "My wife has got to still be screaming about this."

Xander looked at him.  "I can set up a seance tomorrow but after I have my chem test please?"

"Of course.  You study."  Xander laid down to read that way instead.  John went to scrounge food.  He was hungry, which wasn't surprising since he hadn't eaten in years.  Not that he needed to eat before but of course his body was telling him it was time for food.

"Bottom drawer."

"Thanks, kid."  He got the extra deli sandwich out and sat down to nibble, finding a local newspaper so he could catch himself up with the world as it stood today.  He'd have mental fits about all this stuff once the boy was in bed so he couldn't see him have the mini-breakdown.  He wasn't sure what to do about this situation yet but it was clear something was rotten in the ones that pulled him back.

***

Bobby hung up and started to swear.  Ellen gave him a patient look.  "The stupid watchers called John back to take the boy out."  She shuddered.

Willow appeared, tapping him on the shoulder.  "I put a justice clause.  The compulsion won't work as long as it's not just."  Bobby turned to look at her.  "I've learned my lesson.  They tried to threaten to kill me if I didn't take him out for them.  I knew they were going to do something so I slipped it in when they called him back."  Bobby shuddered.  "I also felt Xander fix the wrongness he came back with so he's whole and that compulsion isn't being acted on yet.  I knew Xander wasn't dark."  She smiled a little bit.  "Thank you for helping him when I goofed."

"You've goofed too many times," he told her. "By now hunters should be trying to burn you, Rosenburg."

"That's her?" Ellen demanded.

Willow nodded.  "I got my ass kicked in Devon by the witches there," she told him.  "They threatened to kill me and my girlfriend because somehow I pulled them in when I was only meaning to do it to myself.  No one could tell me how I did it either.  I don't know how I did it and I'm bound from ever trying that hard of magic again.  The only hard spell I can do is to close the hellmouth if it opens again."  She moved back a little bit because he was still glaring.  "Thank you for doing what I couldn't, Mr. Singer.  Xander's important to a lot of us and I know I so royally screwed up there's no excuse."  She disappeared again.

"Think she'll like ash or oak for her pole to be burned on?" Ellen said dryly.

"I think she's beating herself up and she didn't know how she did it.  No one's taught that girl a damn thing."  He finished his beer.  "Been doing some checking through the boy and others that way.  She stole books.  The watcher wasn't able to keep up with her training thanks to it being the hellmouth.  It warped her.  Then she got turned onto an addiction to black magic."  She gave him another beer.  "They tried, Ellen.  They have no idea how to handle it.  The watcher there hasn't used magic in years."  She shuddered.  "He turned to chaos magic to rebel in his youth.  She's just lost.  Has no sense either.  She's the poster child for why covens look for powerful kids around them."

"How did they miss her?"

"The hellmouth probably shielded her or she came into it late in her teens.  You know some of the covens don't check anyone but young girls.  We've seen a few good male witches over the years that got missed and did the same thing."

"Never that badly."

"She had people who tried to correct her when she went bad."  He took a drink, shaking his head.  "This isn't going to make anyone happy but I think she should be tied to it as a guardian.  She can close the stupid hole by herself.  She clearly needs something to take care of so she can fuss over it.  That'd limit her magic and her effectiveness in other places and against other things.  It'd help us a hell of a lot when that slayer there dies."  She nodded at that.  "I can suggest it to them."  A blonde girl appeared, tapping him hesitantly.  He looked at her.  "You'd be Tara.  I saw your picture in his wallet."

"Pl..ppllease don't hurt her," she stuttered.  "She t..tries so hard sometimes."

"You get that girl of yours to tie herself as a guardian of that hellmouth there, Tara.  It'll save her and it'll keep her from causing more problems.  Next time she gets a wild hair up her ass it'll smack her down."  Tara nodded at that, looking down.  "You probably couldn't have stopped her," he said more gently.

"I tr..tried," she admitted quietly.

He tipped her face up.  "You cannot stop someone set on a course without a gun or a sedative dart, girl.  She went around you and the others to do it even when you told her not to and that there'd be problems.  That's her stubbornness and not yours.  No matter what the witches arm of the watchers said.  You're her girlfriend, not her keeper.  She needs a leash but you can't get one for another person.  There's free will for a reason and all a witch needs is to be able to think."

She shivered.  "Thank you."

He smiled.  "If they told you it was your fault, they need kicked," Ellen told her. "You calm down, young lady.  It's not your fault when your girlfriend screws up.  You can only take responsibility for yourself."

She nodded.  "Can she?" she asked quietly.

"The book she'll need is Provensa," Bobby said.  "If you can't find it, let me know and I'll find one somewhere."  She gave him an impulsive hug then left.  Bobby took another drink, shaking his head.  "They've nearly ruined her soul blaming her for not being a leash holder."

"Another black mark against them," Ellen agreed.  She sighed and took a drink. "Provensa?"

"Yeah.  That has the rite and the information she'll need.  It'll do her good."  Dean stomped in and took his beer to drink.  "Thirsty?" he asked dryly.

"Dad's alive."

"I heard that."

"Willow warped the compulsion on him to make sure he could only kill Xander if there's a reason."

"Heard that from her," he said.  Dean gave him a look.  "The boy had him call me to verify what was going on.  Rosenburg was here to tell me about the justice clause."

"Thank you for telling me."

"That's something he'd have to.  It's not my place, Dean."  He clapped him on the arm.  "They tried to blame her girlfriend for not stopping her."

"How much is airfare to England?"

"More than you probably have since you'd need a passport," he said dryly, taking his beer back.  "Where's Sammy?"

"Car.  I knocked him out when he started to angst."  He sat down.  "Now what?"

"He's with the boy.  He's going to be there for a while probably.  Xander could still use someone to point out when he's going toward the line.  Now and then he gets an idea.  Like turning in the idiots for having weapons."

"That was sweet to watch," Dean agreed happily.  Ellen gave him a beer.  "Thanks, Ellen."  He took a long drink.  "Now what?"

"Now?  Now we can go that way to check on them or not.  Or we can draw him to another area to talk to him so we don't draw attention to the boy."  Xander appeared with John then left, still reading his book.  "That's handy."

"He'll come back for me tomorrow."  He sat down, looking at Ellen.  Bobby splashed him with holy water from his flask.  "Thanks.  I know we had to make sure."  He wiped his face off.  "Was one of those other lives as a concubine?  He had a demon who delivered him dinner and tried to take a kiss before he shoved him away."

"He had a hormone condition there that drew everything," Dean agreed.  "Us too."

"Wonderful."  He took his son's beer to gulp.

"So that's where he gets it from," Bobby said dryly.

"Huh?" John asked.

"Nothing."  John shrugged and finished the beer.  "You good?"

"That boy scares me."

"Them too.  That's why they called you back to end him," Bobby reminded him.

"He said he did alchemy.  Used chemistry to do it and got a teacher to go away with it."  Dean pulled out one of the small gold balls, letting him see it.  "That's pretty."

"He said he found the teacher making drugs on the side so he found a way for him to go be happy somewhere else in a way that would keep attention on him.  No more drug making after that."

"Probably true."  He handed it back.  "It pure?"

"Twenty-two carat."  He put it back into his pocket.  Ellen's mouth snapped shut.  "He got it from one of the other selves he saw, Ellen."  He looked at his father.  "Are you good?"

"I'm fine, I think.  The boy seems a bit lost.  Are we sure he's fully sane?"

"He said they're loud like his former possessions but they're not as pushy unless he's trying to date," Dean said with a small grin.  "Apparently they're all gay and want him to be too.  He told me one of them took over and walked him into a gaybar to get him laid one night."

"I didn't hear that.  They can take him over?" Bobby asked.

"He's not sure if he's not in a bit of contact with those other selves, still," Dean admitted.  "But yeah, he said the one with the hormone problems took him over, walked him to a gaybar, and got him laid so much he was smiling the next morning.  So he's officially bi but not looking forward to trying to make a boyfriend or girlfriend settle down with him."  Dean got another beer handed to him by Ellen.  "Sammy's in the car, Dad.  He was angsting like a teenage girl so I thoughtfully gave him a nap," he said before taking a drink.

"It'd be mean to go wake him up," John said.  "He'll see me tomorrow."  He looked at his son, then at Bobby.  "Is anything like my truck still around?"

"Yeah, I've got the truck and whatever you left in it," Bobby admitted.  John smiled at him for that.  "The boy could use someone who would watch over him.  He was a hunter and his rep said that things came for him like they used to come for Sammy."

"Apparently they still do since one of the demons came to make him eat," John said.

"Yeah, he gets stuck in his thoughts while working on stuff and forgets a lot," Dean admitted.  "He's lost another ten pounds since he left Bobby's I'm sure."

Bobby nodded.  "Looked like it when he appeared."

"He said he's not sure if the poisonous curse he had in a few of those other hims came through or the one where he was nearly a chef did so he's keeping it at ordering often," John told them.  He considered it.  The boy did have need of someone to watch over him.  With that stupid compulsion he'd have to do it anyway.  "Can we remove the compulsion?"

"I figure if he didn't, he had a reason," Bobby admitted.  "He's very worried he's going to snap some day, John.  That's why he sent for Sammy and Dean to come get him from Mexico and his drinking.  He told me if he started to slip to make sure of it."

John nodded.  "I might be able to work that out then.  At least be nearby most of the time."  He looked over as the door opened, nodding at his son.

Sam stopped then gaped.  "How?" he squeaked.

"Real manly there, Sammy," Dean said dryly.

"The watchers, son.  Dean, quit.  It's a shock.  Or else you wouldn't have gotten out of the car to swear."  He got up, walking over to his son to hug him.  "I missed you."

"Dad."  He looked at him.  "You're fully back?  No wrongness or anything?"

"He removed it.  The watchers brought me back to take out Xander."  Sam moaned, shaking his head.

"Rosenburg laid a justice clause on the compulsion," Bobby told him.  "She popped here to tell us."

"So he's okay?"

"He's fine and studying for a chemistry test tomorrow," John told him.  Sam smiled at that, heading over to the bar to take Dean's beer.

"Hey!  Get your own!"

"Shut up, you stole mine," Bobby reminded him.  John laughed, patting his sons on the head.  Sam finished that beer and got another one.  "Sit down before you fall over, Sammy."

"Fine."  He looked at his father.  "Now what?"

"Bobby thinks that the boy could use me closer."

Xander appeared, looking at him.  "I told you it'd be a good idea.  That way I had someone who could remind me to do the little things like kill the demons that kidnap me so I can't study."  He handed over the demon's heart.  "That thing was disgusting and wanted me to be a girl."  He looked at Ellen, waving slightly.  "Can I go back to my studying now?  I'm trying to do good!"

"Go," Dean ordered.  "Make us proud."

Xander grinned.  "I don't think we're dating in this life, Dean."  He disappeared.

Sam cackled at his father's look.  "Eat something!" he yelled, looking up.

"Yes, Sam!" floated back down.  With a few gray feathers.  "Damn wings."  Then the voice faded.

"Anyone need some sividia feathers for some spell components?" he called to the other hunters.

"Who was that?" one demanded.  They had watched the whole drama go on so they could figure out which Winchester to shoot since all three were now back together.

Dean turned to look at them.  "You guys heard Rosenburg screwed the pooch by doing the cross-realms or whatever viewing spell to see other versions of yourself?"  Most everyone nodded.  "She accidentally, somehow...."

"She didn't know how," Bobby told him.

"Really?"

"Yeah.  I suggested she lock herself to the hellmouth as the guardian.  It'd be safer for her and give her a chance to atone and get right with the powers."  He finished his current beer.  "Anyway," he said, turning around.  "She pulled her best friends into it too."  They shuddered.  "Somehow, we're not sure how, none of them went fully insane.  The slayer's using those views to see where she went wrong in those lives with her friends.

"Rosenburg is sorry as hell; that was the redhead who appeared earlier.  Her girlfriend was the blonde and she came to apologize.  We leave the blonde alone because the watchers and the witches they put her with to straighten her out tried to make Tara her leash holder and you can't do that to another being."  That got a few more nods.  "She's ripped up about that," Bobby finished.

"Tara's a sweet, good, innocent witch," Dean agreed.  "Very pure witch."  He looked at Sam then at them.  "Their other friend, Xander, got pulled in too.  Xander saw a lot of them.  Xander's also a medium."  That got a mass groan.  "So he kept a lot more memories of those other hims.  He also somehow sucked up some of their skills.  The watchers, being the great, bitchy idiots they are, decided he's dangerous.  The witches handling Rosenburg tried to make him do something dangerous so they could take him out.  He left instead. Came to us and Bobby to make sure of him being safe and all that.  He's not insane.  He's not going bad.  The watchers still have a hit on him and that's why they called Dad back.  To get the boy if he's going evil."  That got a lot more nods.

"He's not though," John said, turning around.  "Rosenburg changed the compulsion with a justice clause.  Unless he's going evil, I can't and won't.  Earlier I nearly smacked him for talking about fixing the neighbor's memories if she overheard him but otherwise he's so far seeming to be sane and on the side of good.  He's changed lives and has plans for a future so he'll be able to help people but not be in the life anymore so he can hide from the watchers."

"Why come to you guys instead of someone like Pastor Jim was?" one asked.

"In some of those other lives he was familiar with our family," Sam said, turning around.  "In one he and I were together, in another one he was mentoring me and Dean with a hormone condition we had just popped up that was drawing demons and people.  In another he was dating Dean.  He decided he could trust our opinions and have Bobby oversee him until he got to the point of sanity or have him put him away somewhere safe in a way that would control the magic and let whoever had to know that he was safely there."

"Or hand him a knife if he snapped and went after the watchers or the witches," Dean added.  "So if you guys hear about the watchers going after him, let us know please.  We're still watching over his shoulder to make sure he doesn't snap.  He's still mostly sane, just feeling like he was possessed."

One leaned back in his chair.  "Technically it probably was a possession.  As a medium he could suck up skills that way.  What's with the feathers?  Sividia are high level demons."

"In the one where he was mated to Sammy, Rosenburg turned him into one against his will to take on a higher demon that was going to bother the hellmouth," Bobby said, making that one moan.  "So they decided to keep him neutral by letting him hold a safe refuge for the harmless demons in Sunnydale.  He was still doing good, but he was technically one of them.  Though by his memories he was driving them insane.  They made all of hell drink when they talked about having kids together."  John shuddered at that.  "Exactly," he said with a smug look.

"The wings came with him and they're the only thing that react to holy objects," Sam admitted.  "We tested them heavily and nothing else reacts to anything holy, anything tainted, nothing like that.  He keeps his wings gone most of the time but now and then they'll come out around me."  That got a mass nod.  "At which point in time he itches and wiggles because he needs preened."  They laughed.  "He does.  They bother him."

"Which was part of the reason he was getting drunk in Mexico," Dean added.  "So we're covering his ass and keeping track of him but if they get close, Xander's got to move lives again."

"What field, generally, is he going into?" one asked.  "If we need to pick his brain and all that."

"Law enforcement," John said.  They all shuddered.  "He'll be a good one and he'll be the guy to protect the innocents until the council finds him and he has to run again.  He's offered to let me stay with him so I can watch over him more closely because he's still obviously worried that he'll slip."

"I'd be worried too.  For him it'd be an accident," Bobby agreed quietly.  "He's got to finish learning how not to draw demons and use his magic."  That got a nod from John.  "He'll be fine, guys.  He's more worried than we are about him."

"So if we run into him, just ignore him?"

"Or make sure you don't out him," Sam agreed.   "They're seriously pissed that Xander escaped them so far.  That's why they brought Dad back from the dead."

John nodded.  "They probably want to dissect the boy.  I don't know if they're turning evil or what, but I think the boy needs protected."  He looked at his sons.  "You two wouldn't mind?"

"Hey, give us a new little brother," Dean said with a shrug.  Sam grinned and nodded.  "Not like we don't keep in touch with him and pop around to check on him, Dad.  Plus you might be able to help him finish settling the voices down in his head so he quits getting lost and forgetting to eat and sleep."

"Maybe."  He looked at them.  "That's where I'll probably be then."  They nodded.  "Right now, we're in the eastern part of the US while he goes to college.  So if you need me, call Dean to get my new number.  I've got to get a cellphone."

"We can do that," Ellen agreed.  "Still freaky.  Boy looked a bit pale too."

Dean nodded.  "He's not sleeping again either.  He seems to have a lot more energy than he should some days."

"That could be the magic trying to take over," Bobby warned.

"I'll make him dump it after his test tomorrow," John promised quietly.  "Plus drill him on his shielding.  He let me see how he glowed on a telling spell without his shields."  They all nodded at that.  "How long did you have him?"

"Three weeks in the barn.  He had a week in Mexico before the boys got there.  He went to a chaos sorcerer to help him set up his fallback sanctuary spot."

"Which has a *pretty* armory, Dad," Dean told him with a grin. "Plus a library I had to pull Sammy and Bobby out of."

"That's helpful though," John agreed.  He turned back around, getting another beer.  "How have things been since I died?  Active, horrible?"

"About usual," she admitted.  "Depending on where he ends up, it might be a bit worse.  We heard someone's going to be in trouble," she said, staring at Dean.

"He fixed that for him," Bobby assured her.  "Right after he got there."  She stared.  He shrugged.  "One of his other lives was in the Harry Potter books as a cursebreaker."

She giggled.  "From what I've heard about the books and his past, I'm not really surprised."

John swatted his son, making him yelp.  "It's good it's over with, son."

"He said she might try but there's nothing there to latch onto me with," Dean said quietly, looking at him.  "We'll be showing up near him that night."

"Good idea."  He looked at his youngest son.  "You good?"

"Still a bit freaked out by that but no."  He took a drink of beer.  "I'm probably not going to be either.  I still want to kick his ass over that, Dad.  Yours too by the way."

"Ditto," Dean agreed, glaring at his father.

"I told you why, son."

"Yay.  Still getting it anyway."  Xander appeared with a groan, sitting down next to Sam, putting his head on Sam's shoulder.  Dean looked down.  "Big problems like watchers?"

"Willow just showed up.  I froze her and left before my instincts came out," he muttered into the cloth.  "I'm sorry."

"I wanted to burn her on your behalf," Ellen said.  "Want a beer, kid?"

Xander looked at her.  "I have a chemistry test tomorrow and a pee test sometime next week, ma'am.  Thank you anyway."  She handed him a soda, getting a shy grin.  "Thank you."  He looked at them.  "What should I be doing with her?"

"What you're doing right now," John told him firmly.  "Boys, show up soon.  C'mon, Xander."  He gulped his soda, taking John back to the apartment.  "Now, free her."  Xander let her go, tapping her on the forehead when she frowned.  "You're drawing attention to him, Rosenburg."

"I'm sorry.  I came to apologize."

"They're probably tracking you."  He looked at Xander.  "And your magic bursts too."

"I changed my outward magical signature."

"Not that much," Willow told him.  She pouted.  "I'm really sorry, Xander.  I have *no* idea how I did that."

"It hurts that you did it even knowing it was a bad idea and that we told you no," he told her.  She nodded.  "Maybe someday I won't be pissed but it's not today."

"I get that.  Buffy said that she's using all those new memories to see where she screwed up as friends."

"That's a good thing but I'm going to be hiding from the council for the rest of my life, Willow."  She nodded, slumping some.  "I hope you two get it worked out.  I want the best for all of you, but I can't.  If I go anywhere near you guys, they'll find me, dissect me while I'm alive, and then kill me.  I don't want that."

"I get that."  She gave him a hug.  "Thank you for not killing me."

"That would be bad of me," he reminded her.  She nodded, disappearing again.  "Find a new apartment tomorrow while I'm taking my chemistry test?"

"I can do that.  Go to sleep.  Cramming isn't good for you."

"I'm reading ahead for stuff I missed in the memories."

"Then you definitely need sleep, kid.  And to wear out whatever's making you bouncy.  Do it now."  Xander nodded, going to shower and work off his hormones.  John sat down to pull over the laptop so he could look at the classifieds and rental agencies locally.  They probably only had a day before the kid would be found.  Fortunately Chicago was a major city so they could get lost in it and they'd never know as long as they weren't near him when they were looking.

The Many Mystical Mes 3.

Two days later Xander walked into his advisor's office, closing the door after looking down the hall.  "I can't call her directly but I have to miss my classes until the idiots on campus are gone."

"Why?  The ones after you?"

"A friend apologizing for getting me in their sights found me a few days ago.  It was accidental but they're searching and they're in Professor Prima's office."

She nodded.  "Give me a chance to look at something, Xavier.  Is Chicago going to be safe for you?"

"I don't know.  I thought it might be."  She nodded. He heard boots and frowned, looking around before freezing her and flashing off to where John was waiting.  "They were in my advisor's office.  I froze her to flash off."

"Good job.  Call her."

Xander did that, getting her.  "It's me, I'm sorry I did that."  He nodded, making mental notes.  "I can do that.  Can you call me later with a suggestion?"  He smiled.  "I knew one was nearby.  Thank you and I've enjoyed learning from you.  I'm doing that now."  He hung up.  "We need to hide a bit better so I'm pulling out my backup hiding plans.  We need to get some things then hit a hotel."

"Hit a hotel, tell them your luggage was lost and you've got to shop," John ordered.  "Can we afford that?"  Xander gave him an odd look.  "I don't know what you have, kid.  We can talk about that later."

Xander pulled out his backup ID kit, holding up the prepaid credit card.  "It's got a ten grand limit, John."  John moaned.  "I used my mad cursebreaker skills."  He got them outside and into a taxi, taking it to an upscale hotel in town that had security.

John walked in.  "My nephew and I were coming in on a few hour layover and our things got jacked at the airport," he said quietly.  "They want us close by for a few days.  Do you have a double room available?"

"I think we do, sir.  Let me check."  She got into her system, nodding.  "We have a small double room or we have a small suite."  She looked at the nervous young man behind him, smiling some.  "The suite is about the same price.  Let me see if we can give it to you for the same rate."

"Don't worry about the cost," Xander told her, handing over his card with a smile.  "I planned on doing some shopping."  She ran it and moaned at the balance.  "A week please."  She nodded, signing them in.  "Thank you.  We'll be shopping later, after a nap.  It's been a bit of a long day."

"I can understand that.  Should I put a note in that the police might be coming to you for a statement about the theft?"

Xander shook his head.  "No thank you.  Just warn security in case they come back since I had most of the loose cash on me.  I'm not sure if they'd come back for more or not."

"We can do that, sir.  We have very good security.  I hope you get things back."  She handed them room keys.  "The elevators are over there and there's a room service menu on the table up there if you need us, gentlemen.  Our restaurant delivers or there's a few nice places within a safe walking distance."

"Thank you," John said, smiling at her.  "I'm hoping we can move on shortly and put this behind us."  She nodded so he walked the boy off, taking him up to their suite.  "You need a nap, kid.  You look more pale than usual."  He gave him a nudge toward the room.  "Go nap in there."

"Yes, John.  You must've been a pretty good dad."  He went to lay down for a nap.  John just smiled and checked over what they had available.  Including in-room free internet service.  Xander's backpack had his laptop so he sent an email to Sam about what happened then settled in to wait on the boy.  Having a ten grand prepaid credit card on him meant that he was probably wealthy enough at the moment to pull an emergency move.  When his phone rang, John let the voicemail get it.  It came up as one of his teachers so he let them talk to the voicemail for now.

***

Sam opened his email on his phone with a scowl.  "Willow's popping around to check on him brought the watchers.  They're hiding."  Dean shook his head with a moan.  "Can't we go beat her?"

"Maybe.  We're headed in the right direction.  About an hour from there."  Sam gave him a mean smirk.  "We can definitely have a good yell at the very least.  I'm surprised she can  already sit.  If we had done something like that, we wouldn't be sitting for well over a year."

"If then," Sam agreed.  "They'd still be picking bits and pieces of silver and rock salt out of our asses."  Dean hummed that he agreed, changing songs.  "Dad's email said that Xander has a backup ID and they're at a major hotel after being mugged."

"That's a good plan.  We heard Xander can plan."  He switched lanes to take an exit so they could get gas.  "Pit stop."  That got a nod and they got out to pump gas and get sodas, plus have a bathroom break.  Sam hated to pee off the side of the road.  Dean didn't much like it either, but sometimes you had to.

***

Two weeks later Xander faced off with his new advisor and knew he's have a problem.  "Miss Hargrove."

She stared up at him.  "I'm not telling my father you're here.  I think they're wrong."

"They are."

"You're doing *this* for your new life?"

He nodded.  "That way I can still help others.  I seemed to like it."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "A few were?"

"Three, four, something like that."

"Interesting."

"With a t-shirt habit that made people shake their heads in confusion," he quipped with a grin.  "I have a monitor."

"I've heard they called someone back."  She looked at him.  "No wonder you tested out of some of the classes."  He nodded.  "Fine.  We did accept you and our director does know of your little problem with being hunted.  He thinks it's a serial killer."

"Only some of them."

"You won't hear much disagreement from me on that," she told him.  "We will have a few problems.  You have to wear out that magical tingling even I can feel....  Javier."

Xander nodded.  "I know.  I'm trying."

"Try harder."

"John's having me dump it again later."

"Good.  Anything I should know?"

"In the ones where I ... did this, I had a small clubbing problem and it seemed to have followed me.  They like me enough to tip me even when I complain."

"That's absolutely a charming talent."

"Not my fault."

"No, it's probably something you can't help.  Except for not going out."

"I try very hard not to and all the others wanted me to be gay too."

"That might be better."  She pulled out his transcripts.  "So far you're not looking too bad.  Decent and good grades.  Heavy classload.  You'll be done in a few years."  Xander nodded.  "Then what?"

"Internship?"

"Definitely.  Where?"

"I'd like New York.  A major lab would be easier to hide myself in."

"True.  And that's a huge department that's highly overprotective and closed-mouthed about it's people."

"Plus, if their head of their labs is anything like the ones I saw, it'll be easier," he said quietly.  "Proving it and then letting him shield me."  She nodded.  "If not, east coast but not Fed?"

"There's a few good departments that way.  I can see you doing that.  I heard rumors you were a gun nut."

"Yes, but if I remark on my personal collection I'll get beaten by John.  His son told him and he nearly spanked me for it," he offered with a grin.

"I wouldn't admit to that then.  Legal?"

"What can be put in for licensing has been."

"Don't tell anyone else that."

"I'm not."

"How would you like ATF?"

"They're kinda scary and would hate me for that fact.  And hate that I'm being hunted even more."

"Good point.  Okay.  You managed to pass all your tests via email last semester so you're good with us.  It was nice that they tried to take two of your professors hostage to get you.  Did you get them back?"

"No, I told the local department and let them handle it.  Including that I was the one they were hunting for and that's why I was in hiding and that they wanted to dissect and then kill me.  They weren't pleased."

"Did you turn them in for weapons?"

"Hell yes.  If they'd leave me alone I'd kiss them for it but without tongue.  Because I think most of them like to eat shit too much to not have nasty tongues."  She giggled but nodded.  "Thank you for helping me."

"I hate to see talent going to waste and my father has no idea what he's doing.  We knew you weren't normal when you jumped in and some of the ones you hunted were more scared of you on chocolate than they were of our girl."  He smirked at that.  "Don't do that here."

"Only during finals."

"Good.  As for next semester, you've already taken two classes we recommend but you missed one on our list for last semester."  She let him see the schedule of classes they had for their program.  "These are only offered in the spring, Javier.  Next fall you're going to have to make up that one class."

"It's not offered any other time?"

"No."

"Damn.  Is it just a self-defense class?  Because I can take that in town if I have to."

"I can ask about that.  Are you going to conform to our standards?"

"Can I test out of A&P biology?"

"Nope."

"Can I have a tutor?"

"Definitely.  Anything else you'll need a tutor in?"

"Possibly if I have to take econ or history again."

"I can see that."  She pointed.  "You tested out of one of your humanities spots so you're good there.  The other you can take psychology or sociology for it.  Either would be more helpful for you."  He nodded at that.  "Ballistics?"

"Yes, ma'am.  Maybe with some trace and field classes added in?"

"We can do that.  You'll be here an extra semester though."

"Summer.  School."

"You're sure you want to do that?"  He nodded.  "Are you working?"

"I have emergency funds."

"Good.  I won't ask how."

He leaned closer.  "In one I had a hormone condition that drew every demon and human alive to want me," he said quietly.  "I'm trying to keep that one gone."  She moaned, shifting in her chair.  He sat back up.  "It's why now and then I get confused minded and drift off on my thoughts."

"I'll warn them about that.  The whole department knows you switched because someone took some of your old professors hostage trying to get you, Javier."  He nodded at that.  "Good boy."  He barked.  She laughed.  "You'll have fun at least.  Let me fill out your scheduling slip.  Where are you staying?"

"Off campus with Uncle John.  That way I don't do frat parties and things."

"Good idea."  He took the slip she filled out.  "Go to the registrar.  You're already admitted into the program.  I wish you luck, Javier.  I think you have what it takes if you can pay enough attention."

"I can; just now and then I get lost in my thoughts and forget to eat."  He shook her hand.  "See you in a few weeks, ma'am."  She nodded and he left, going to the administration building to register for classes.  Then to the bookstore for his new books.  He carried home the bags, groaning when he dropped them on the table.  "John, I need to take a self-defense class since I missed it last semester.  I've got advanced self-defense my senior year and by then I need to be able to do hand-to-hand stuff."

"I can teach you some of that."

"They'd need the paperwork but you're more than welcome to take it with me so you're not bored."

"I'm doing some research for the group."

"That's cool.  I have the library that Bobby and Sam can get into."  He sat down to pull out his books, earning an odd look.  "Five hundred dollars for eighteen credit hours."

"Ouch."

"Very but necessary.   Oh, interesting note, my advisor is the daughter of one of them.  She knows but she told me she's not sticking up for them.  The whole department knows I had to change over because they took some of my professors hostage to get me, and she said everyone knows they're still hunting me but says they understand about serial killers. And this time I don't have to take Econ and have a gang member tutor me," he finished more happily.

"Probably a good idea, kid."  He looked at the titles.  "Anatomy and Physiology?"

"Biology class.  Also for nursing and pre-med students."  John shuddered.  "A chemistry, a physics this summer, an english, two forensic classes.  My art elective for the forensic classes is a sketching class to help me learn how to do room and scene sketches better.  It also covers photography."

"Good I guess.  It's a lot of work to work with guns."

"Yeah but I need to have the full degree," he admitted.  "Plus it gives me a good career where I'm doing what I like to do and I can still help people."

"I understand why, kid, but it's still a lot of work.  Like Sammy going pre-law."

"Sam had a good GPA too.  Mine's only in the three-point-eight range."  That got a nod.  "So is there a dojo or other class type thing around here?"

"Two of them."  He handed over the paper.  "You told her about me?"

"I told her I was living off campus with my Uncle John to make sure I didn't do stupid things, like frat parties, when she asked.  I told her I had a good exemplar going and she told me not to tell others that."  He laughed, nodding.  "I did tell her what had been able to be filed for licensing has been.  She suggested the ATF for a future job."

"No thanks.  Where are we thinking?"

"Major lab so I'll be easier hid, NYPD if possible because I remember working well with their lab people.  They even put up with odd t-shirts."

"I noticed a few had appeared in your closet."  He gave him his best dad looked.  It worked better on him than it did on Dean when he brought home trashy women or Sam the first time he caught him drinking.  It was nice that the boy listened to him as a father figure more than his boys ever seemed to.

"I like my smart-ass t-shirts," he offered with a grin.  "Any idea if they're any good for teaching?"

"Nope.  We can go check them out.  Or the Y usually has some classes like that and they're in the next town.  You'll need to be in good shape for when they make you do the academy portion of your training.  Running, climbing, that stuff."

"I saw that in the Police Academy movies."

"Probably not the same," John said tolerantly, going back to his research.  "Did you eat?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good.  Go put those up and get things ready for your first day."  Xander nodded, going to his bedroom to do that.  John shook his head.  Going from Chicago to Louisiana was just a strange transition.  The boy didn't seem to mind but he could tell that hormone thingy was coming back.  "Wear those out, kid.  Now.  Before you draw problems."

"Yes, sir.  Going to.  Want to find the bar tonight?"

"Hell no.  I don't feel like going on a rescue tonight.  Do it yourself and then go find a gay bar."

"Fine."  John shook his head but the kid did close his door and he could hear him getting a bit loud with the quiet movie he was playing in there.  He paused to listen.  There was gunfire so it wasn't a porno.  He decided he didn't want to know.  He really didn't.  Though he did write Sam an email saying textbooks were more expensive and thicker than he remembered.

***

Two years later Xander faced off with the senior self-defense instructor.  "I did take outside classes, one a semester," he said at his complained grunting.  "Plus my uncle is a retired Marine, sir."  The teacher lunged at him.  Xander tossed him down and got him into cuffing position.  He backed off, letting him up.  The teacher stared up at him.  "Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?  Or did you want me to wipe the floor with you, sir?"

"Can you?"

"Maybe.  I try very hard to keep any violent impulses to myself most of the time.  Especially since I know I can't while arresting a suspect."

"True."  He got up.  "Okay, fight me for real, Elton."  Xander lunged and fought him, using what he had learned and remembered.  He had to duck one blow at his head but the teacher was back against a wall before he realized it and giving him an awed look.  "I know why you had to learn it."

Xander nodded.  "Which is why I did, but I keep it to myself," he agreed.

"Good.  Work with the women."

"Yes, sir."  He went to work with the female members of his class, helping them with their protections and how to get people down when they were being assholes and trying to kill you instead.  The teacher went to take a tylenol and write the boy's advisor an email saying he had the skills to pass his class so he was using him as a demonstration model and helper instead.

***

Xander raised his hand when the local police academy's instructor was giving them a talk.  "Sir, what if we want to work in another area of the country?  Should we go through the academy here and transfer or go through it there?"

"There," he said.  "They always appreciate people going through their own academy.  I was briefed about your desire to go north, Elton.  Go there instead of here."  Xander nodded.  "I can get you those forms."

"Please.  If it's not any problem, sir.  Should I worry about the pre-testing here or there?"

"Here.  I can pass that on for you as part of your app."  Xander nodded.  He went back to his speech for the new cadets.  They had to pass the academy to work in the local departments, or even in the state.  That one boy had promising records so maybe he'd do good up there.  It was a hard department to live in but he had skills.  When it came time to work on the pre-testing he found the boy had a few weak spots.  He couldn't climb a rope worth a damn but he could hop the wall or a fence.  He was a bit slow on the running portion but he was also limping from the fall he took while trying to climb the rope.  At the end of the pre-testing he pulled him aside.  "Do you want to go into the field?"

"Now and then, not as a career.  I want to play with the pretty guns and make sure they're where they belong."

"Then you're not bad but you need to work on your running times and your climbing skills, Elton.  They'll insist.  Also that you be able to swim."

"I can.  I did the swim team for a bit in high school."

"Who is after you?"

"Homicidal Brits who think I'm evil and going to destroy their world.  Which I will if they find me again."

"Okay."

"I turned them into the Feds for their weapons collection once."  He grinned sweetly.  "I have a 'fuck with me and die' thing going with them whenever they try me."

"I can understand that.  The department you want is hard."

"I know."

"They can shield you though."

"I'm hoping so, sir."

"Good.  Work on your running and climbing.  Maybe some endurance work too."

"I'm good on endurance.  I've been up for three days."  The officer groaned, shaking his head.  "Finals are in a week.  I've got to set things up for next semester.  I take these moods."

"It's probably the paranoia, which in your case is good.  I'll pass your scores up to them and let them have the app you filled out earlier after finishing your run."  Xander nodded, shaking his hand.  "Take a nap and eat, kid.  You skipped lunch to fill that out."

"Yes, sir."  He drove back to the apartment, coming in and flopping down.  "I still can't climb a rope worth a damn and my running times were slow," he said with a pout.

"Is that going to keep you out of the academy?"

"No.  I was beyond mandatory beginner times.  Just slow.  And I fell while climbing the rope."

"We can work on that.  It's mostly arm strength.  That and some jogging."  He looked at the boy.  "Any other good news?"

"He can pass back my scores today to the academy in New York with the app I filled out.  He said I should go through theirs after I graduate next semester."

John smiled.  "That's a good plan.  It's about time to move on anyway."  Xander nodded.  "Any other bad news or things you need to work on?  Beyond sleeping and eating since you haven't?  Again."

"He got onto me for that too but it's finals next week."

"Yay."

"Yes, John."

"Eat, shower, then nap, Xander."  He nodded, going to fix himself something.  "Bottom of the fridge on the plate.  I figured you'd be later."

"That's for those going locally."  He pulled out his plate to warm up.  "Thanks, John.  You're a good daddy to me."  He took his food to his room, going to nap now and shower later.  He was a bit tired now that they had mentioned it.

John shook his head but he was smiling.  The kid grew on you.  After three years he was almost a Winchester.  He certainly appreciated his training more than Sammy had when he was younger.

***

John looked up from his shirt mending, finding Xander chewing on his bottom lip while staring at his closet in his room.  "Need to do laundry?  I'm done with the machines."

"No.  I think I have other problems."  He came out and sat on the other end of the couch, staring at him.  "I can buy you a new t-shirt, John."

"It's good to make them last so you don't waste resources," he reminded him.

"My teacher said I need to have a few wardrobe lessons."

"For?" he asked patiently.

"Testifying, interviews, dates maybe.  Doctor Sullivan wants me to date her niece.  She thinks I'll figure out what's wrong with her and cure her or make her go fully evil so she can be handled appropriately."

John shook his head quickly at that thought.  "No, she'd go fully evil.  We don't want the psych major to go serial killer.  It'd make it harder for the FBI to catch her."  He went back to his mending.  "So you need a suit?"

"Or two or three.  She also said I need better clothes for working in the lab.  She said dockers at the least in that lab, dress pants and a button at the best."  John grimaced at that.  "I know, kinda fussy to me too.  Especially with all the chemicals and gunshot residue I'll be dealing with daily.  But she did say I needed more than good jeans and a decent shirt most of the time.  That the lab I want is really fussy about that."

John considered it.  "There's a small suit shop in the next town."

"Which you looked at the last time we were at Foot Locker and said it was crappy," Xander reminded him.

"I did, didn't I."  He considered it.  "Where did the women of the department suggest?"

"Heading out for a weekend to Dallas."

John stopped his sewing to look at him.  "Why Dallas?  There's a closer city.  Or New Orleans."

"New Orleans is barely getting department stores open again after the hurricane.   She said I might be able to find one but they'd look like funeral wear, which would make me look like a Fed."

"That's a disgusting thought," he decided, putting his shirt aside.  "Other than that, why Dallas and not some other major city?"

"She said Dallas is the South-West version of New York and Atlanta.  Plus it's in easy driving distance.  Kinda.  Two tanks of gas probably in my car."

He considered it.  "How much shopping do you really need to do?"

"At least two suits and all the stuff to go with it for testifying and interviews.  At least dockers for decent pants. She said if I go this weekend she'll let me take something to the cousin she has in their lab so I can ask them nosy questions in case I want to come back south again.  She wants me to head to Texas and become one of the Rangers, only in the lab."

"They do good work," he agreed.  "We'll talk about that if it has to happen."  He considered it.  Dallas wasn't *that* far.  About a day's drive at the most.  "Houston's closer."

"Dallas has three *major* higher end stores and the concubine me's voice said that attorneys would respect me more if I was in designer instead of cheap knock-off suits.  That it says 'respect me' more than a ten dollar one from the thrift store."  He shifted closer.  "The other ballistics mes are saying about the same thing.  Two of them are cooing over Armani."

"There's no reason to spend that much on anything, much less a single suit," he said patiently.  "Some of their suits are more expensive than both our vehicles."

"Well, yeah, but if we go next weekend, they're doing season end clearance, which means it'd be closer to normal people prices," he offered.  "And I'd look really good.  So maybe I'll find a girl that's not that evil."  He rubbed his forehead.  "Or they want me to date the guy who wants to do chem work in Vegas."

"No.  He's a bit freaky, kid."  He patted him on the head.  Now and then he liked the other voices he carried for having him date boys but they still had bad taste in who to hit on.  "We can go to Dallas."  Xander hugged him, bouncing some.  "You will not bankrupt yourself buying clothes."

"No more than a trunk full," he promised with a grin.  "I'll even try to get some for colder weather since we're going north and they have snow there."  He got up.  "I'm going to look up a shopping directory."

"No Armani."  The kid pouted at him.  "Look at the less exclusive, cranky designers.  If you show up in an Armani suit on your first day, everyone's going to wonder how you afforded it."

"Good point."  He bounced off to look up a shopping directory online.  "What do you think about hitting someplace like a higher end department store that carries a few designers first?"

"I think it'd be smarter so you could price shop," he said patiently, shaking his head.  He wrote his younger son about the suit issue.  Did Xander really need that many?  Sam's answer that he had been told to start stockpiling so he had at least two week's worth of suits on hand - the higher end the better - when he graduated was going to make his head hurt.  Who could stand a suit every day?

***

John looked up from his reading in the parking lot of the Dallas PD lab as a SWAT van pulled in.  He winced. "Damn it, kid, why do you have this luck?" he muttered.  "I'm going to find a wish demon and remove it from you one way or another."  He got out, walking over there.  "Guys, my nephew is in there.  He's a ballistics tech student out of Louisiana.  His teacher was having him drop a birthday present off to her cousin.  Should I try his phone for you?"

"No, sir.  Where are you parked?"  He pointed.  "Can you pull back some?  Just in case?"

"Sure, no problem.  The young, smartass with the slightly sloppy post-basic-training military style haircut is my nephew Javier."

"Good to know, sir."  He watched him go move the car and wait in it.  "Do we have the cameras yet?"

"Not yet, sir.  Nearly," someone called from inside the van.  "Huh, I don't know that officer."

The head guy went in to look over his shoulder.  "I have the feeling that's the nephew of the guy who just offered to call him.  If so he's a ballistics tech student."  They watched another guy with a gun rush in and the kid grab him and drop him, then kick him in the back of the head to keep him down.  Then he called for a set of handcuffs.  "Just the four they reported?"

"Yes, sir," one of them said.

"Then let's go look at this boy, make sure he's not one of them."  They walked inside, checking carefully as they went.

Xander popped out, putting the gun down in front of them.  "They're mean to their guns.  Two are kinda dirty and nasty.  And two swear more than I do."  He pulled out his ID carefully, holding it up.  "I did what my teacher ordered."

"All but the kick to the head," the head guy said patiently.  "Is that regulation wherever you did your internship?"

"No, sir, that's practical so they don't get up while I don't have handcuffs.  It's that or make them assume a full yoga position that they can't get out of easily or quickly.  I figure that way was more humane.  I'm sorry if I stepped on toes, sir."

"You didn't, son, but are you mental?"

Xander grinned.  "My teachers ask me that now and then when I coo at the new guns."  He bounced on his feet.  "That's my teacher's cousin."

"She did send him with my birthday present, a delightful new afghan," she offered.  "Yes, she says he is slightly insane and wanted me to try to recruit."

"Maybe if I have to leave up north."

"Why would you?" one SWAT guy asked.

"Because some homicidal British people have decided I'm the root of all evil in their lives.  They kinda took a few of my teachers back in Chicago hostage to get me.  I let the local department handle it because I was only in my first and a half semester up there," he babbled.

"Your uncle is waiting for you in the car.  Go tell him you're all right and come right back here to give us a statement," the team leader ordered.  Xander jogged out to do that and was back in under a minute at parade rest beside him.  "Sit him down, make him write it out," he told the impatiently waiting tech.  She nodded, walking him off to yell at him in private.  He shook his head.  "He's a bit stranger than I'm used to."

"I want to work in New York," he called back.

"You'll fit in well with all the nuts up there," he decided.  "Go help him with the statement," he told one of his guys, making him groan but go do that.  "Haul those guys down to booking."  The rest did that while he made sure things were cleaned up properly. There were days he hated rookies.  Especially when he found his team member laughing with the kid.  He coughed and the guy handed over his statement, making him frown.  "We need more detail than that."  Xander handed over the one he had written out for him.  "Decent handwriting, thank you.  Why else are you in town?"

"Shopping.  My teachers said I need suits for testifying and things.  Plus one wants me to date her niece so she finishes going psycho so they can deal with her."  He grinned sweetly.  "I only date bad girls apparently."

The team leader looked at him.  "You're just a bit too strange for Dallas, kid."

"I'm only here to shop," he said with a mild pout.  "It's not my fault I'm having one of these days again."

"Go do that and head home tomorrow."  The kid got up and hugged the tech then left, being a lot less bouncy.  He shook his head as he walked the reports off to have them filed.  He saw they had the film of what happened, pausing to look at it.  "Did he just say 'why me'?" he asked.  The AV tech nodded.  "So he's a trouble magnet?"

"Apparently.  Did his uncle in the car seem worried?"

"No.  I should've realized."  He handed over the reports to his supervisor and went to take his team out for a beer.  They needed it after that encounter.  Four people wanting evidence and a bouncy gun nut to rival any scary gun nut in Montana.  Wonderful!

***

John looked up as Xander slid into the car.  "Done?" he asked dryly.

"Yup.  I gave them a detailed report and a less detailed version and it's still not my fault."

"Yes it is."

"No it's not.  They chose the time to correspond with lunch time.  So did we."  He gave him a grin.  "I have directions to the store."

"Good.  Anything we need to stop and get on the way?

"Milk shake?"

"We'll see.  You don't need to be more bouncy and hyper.  If they have to fit it to you, they'll need you to stand still."  Xander nodded, relaxing in his seat.  He gave quiet directions once they were back on the street and it was nicer.  Good classic rock on the radio.  Xander was calmer again.  Hopefully this would be the only incident this trip.  "Make sure things like this don't get back to New York, kid.  They might not want you if they hear you're a trouble magnet."

"Yes, John."

"Thank you."  Xander barked.  He swatted him.  "Behave or no treats the rest of the weekend."

"Yes, sir."  He pointed at the 'world famous milkshakes' sign, making a small whimpering noise.  John sighed and got him one then they went to the bigger department store.   Xander took a look at the map and took him to the second floor, the men's department. "Want to get necessary things first since it's by the escalators?" he suggested.

"On the way out that way I know what to match my socks to."

"You match them to your shoes," he told him.  "Not the suit."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Okay."  He came off the escalator and handed John the last few sips of his milkshake.  "They're really good.  You have the rest, Uncle John."  John gave him that special 'quit being a smartass' look he had perfected on Dean.  And just like Dean, Xander ignored it to bounce off and talk to a woman.  He finished the milkshake and tossed it out, grabbing a basket to start filling in socks and underwear for both of them.   He looked over at the saleswoman helping him and mentally groaned.  "Three, no more than three," he reminded him.  "Meet me in shoes?"

"You mean I don't get matching help?" he asked, looking awed.

"I think she has some taste at the very least."  He looked at her.  "Now and then he likes Hawaiian shirts too."

"I'll keep that in mind.  You're his boyfriend?"

"Uncle.  I keep him out of trouble."

"Aw, that's sweet of you," she said with a smile.  She led him to see what she had in her section.  None of it would look upper class, like he wanted, but he could look hip.  He tried on one and she nearly pouted.  He didn't do hip very well.  So she took him to another sub-store area to introduce them.  "Natalie, this is Javier.  He's a ballistics tech student out of one of the schools in Louisiana.  He needs date and court suits."

"We do carry a fine line of suits," she agreed happily.

"I tried him in ours, but they didn't look right.  He looked like a boy trying to dress up as a rap star."

"Pity.  But we'll see what we can find.  Thank you, Tricia."

"Welcome."  She gave Xander's arm a teasing touch and grinned.  "If I can help more, maybe with shirts?  Come back and see me."  She strolled off.

Xander made sure he had his wallet then looked at her.  "My uncle thinks I need about three for things like testifying.  I plan on being in New York so I'll need something for their humid summers and their winters."

"We can probably accommodate you, Javier."  She led him to her favorite line but he had bulky muscles underneath that loose t-shirt.  "You are nicely built."

"I have to keep in shape.  When I graduate I have to hit a police academy.  I'm going to be their Tackleberry or Mahoney.  Maybe like a kid between them," he offered with a good boy grin.

She smiled back.  "I can see why."  She led him to another line.  "Any particular colors?"

"I used to be a pack mule for girls so as long as I look good and I'm comfy sitting in it."

"I can see that."  She ran a hand over his arm muscles again.  He flexed, making her give it a squeeze.   "Hmm."  She let him try on one of their softer, silk suits.  It made him look too tough.  "You look...."

"Like a mafia enforcer," he agreed, making her giggle.  "Sorry."

"Sometimes it does matter."  She let him change back, making sure her suit was all right.  "I don't think we have anything that would work."

"I so wanted to hit the clearance rack at Armani's store for the end-of-the-season stuff.  John said no."

"They'd fit you like we do probably.  But there is an idea.  What's your budget, Javier?"

"I have twenty grand on me."

She blinked a few times.  "We can definitely find you something even if we have to build it from scratch them.  Let me take you to another sub-store.  They'd have more that you might like.  They're more upper class but like doctors and lawyers instead."  He nodded at that, taking her arm to walk with her.  "You have very good manners."

"Only around people.  At home I still belch," he offered.

She giggled, giving his arm a swat.  "Paul!" she called, spotting him.  He looked and waved with a smile.  She walked him over.  "This is Javier.  He's a ballistics student at one of the schools in Louisiana.  He needs suits for testifying and things.  Mine made him look mafia.  Tricia's made him look like a rap star wanna-be.  I'm hoping your collection is better for him."

"Oh, you precious thing," he lisped.  "Come along."  He took his arm.  "Thank you, dear.  Love the new shoes."  He grinned at him.  "You are built nicely."

"After I graduate I have to hit the academy before I can start working in a lab.  I was also told I needed comfy, well fitting, but not really *dress* pants to work in.  At least dockers and some button-up shirts for daily wear.  They've got to be washable because I'm *sure* I'll have gunshot residue on them now and then."

"Are you *family*, love?" he asked with a grin.

"Kinda bi.  I like breasts so if I ever find one that's decided to stay mid-transition I'll have it made."  Paul giggled at that, leaning on his arm.  "I've got a good budget with me.  My uncle thinks I need about three."

"I'd say more like five, just in case your testimony runs long.  Are you going be working locally?"

"New York with all luck.  I'll hear back soon."

He gave him a hug around the arm.  "I'm sure you'll make it and that is one of motherlands of Queens."

"Mm-hm.  Then again I can't do queen or drag queen very well, but I can do drama queen when the mood strikes me."  Paul gave him an awed look.  "My best friends growing up were all girls but one and he died years ago."

"Oooh.  Yeah, you can do drama queen."

"One's now Wicca with a girlfriend.  The other's a former cheerleader.  And I draw evil women."

Paul shuddered.  "Maybe you should fully switch?"

"I like breasts and oral sex too much to every fully switch but maybe."  Paul shivered and nodded, taking him to the suit he would choose for him.  "That's a nice fabric.  Easily cleaned if I get stuff on it in the field?"

"It should be.  Dry cleaners can get nearly anything out."  He led him to the dressing rooms, letting him try them on.  He walked in after a few minutes, finding him doing up his shirt.  The few scars he carried didn't bother him.  It only added to the dangerous boy mystery surrounding him.  He looked him over.  "You do have a fantastic body.  That one's a bit tight.  Take it off."  Xander dropped the pants and handed them over then the shirt, making him drool.  If the boy tipped like he was visually tipping him, he'd have a great night.  He went to get him a few more, coming back with them.  The boy looked fantastic in their suits.  The more casual clothes they could do some of too.  Only a few tweaks of tailoring needed to be done and they could be rushed today since he had money and he was only in town for this.  The rest, well it went well and his uncle showed up with shoes.  "You know his shoe size?"

"I watched him try on seven pairs of sneakers to see if he liked them the last time he shopped," he said patiently.  "Are we nearly done?"

"Nearly," Paul said with a smile.  "Now, you come back up here in three hours and those small adjustments will be done with.  I promise."  The boy grinned and nodded.  "Did you need anything else?  Did you need those rung up, sir?"

"Please."  He handed over the basket.  It was a lot more than he expected but the kid brought more than he claimed too.  So the hundred dollars over was taken care of.  He took the bags for him and Xander took the rest with a grin, walking out with him.  "Did you have to flirt?" he hissed.

"Well, yeah.  He was nice that way.  And I tipped nicely too."  He grinned.  "Can we get lunch and come back for those?"

"I guess.  How much did you really bring?"

"A whole lot."  He blinked his big brown eyes at him.  "Enough in the safe under your seat to make sure we could get home too."

"Good idea I guess.  Any other stops we have to make?"

"He wanted me to try Ralph Lauren's stuff."  John rolled his eyes.  "He said it's very comfy, higher class, but with good, casual fabrics, and I could finish getting button-up shirts for work there."

"Fine.  If we must."  They exited the department store, heading for the car.  Xander showed him the safe once the bags were safely in the trunk, making him groan.  They got in to drive, letting Xander drive since he had the directions.  John pointed at one problem he had remembered from the last time a job had brought him to Dallas, making Xander go around it.  They still ended up there.  He watched the boy walk into the store, shaking his head.  Why was Xander such a girl at times?  Sammy hadn't been.

"Hi.  I'm a future lab tech with a crime lab in ballistics.  I graduate soon.  I need work stuff.  The guy at the sub-store in Bergstrom's said to come here."

"Okay.  Do you know your dress code?"

"Not exactly but I was told dockers or better probably.  Probably button-up or polo shirts.  I'll be in New York if it helps.  I'm hoping for Manhattan instead of one of the other labs."

She smiled.  "I think we can arrange that."  She smiled at the attentive person following him.  "Your boyfriend?"

"Uncle John.  He's making sure I don't go *too* wild.  No frat parties, no dating, that sort of stuff.  I draw bad girls apparently."

She shivered.  "I think that might help you at work."

He grinned. "I might try to flirt with someone in interrogation to see if they break to impress me," he teased back.  She let out a warm, low chuckle and helped him fit his shirts so they were comfortable and soft, easily washed at home.  His pants as well.  That way she got in a lot of groping.  And when someone came in with a gun he casually knocked them out for her.  "I think these are a bit tight in the seat."

"Perhaps but it did give me a fantastic view of your muscles, Javier."  She stepped over the moaning man on the floor, going to get him the next size up.  That fit him better and the nice officers were quickly there for him.

The first officer stared at him.  "Weren't you just at the lab?"

"Dropping off a present for one of my teachers," he agreed.  "Then I went suit shopping."  The nice sales lady handed him a few of those too, making him go try them on.  "He was really rude, waving that gun around," he said as he walked off.  "Thankfully he had the safety on or else I might've dented him for threatening the nice woman for real."

The officer shook his head, looking at John.  "Is he always like that?"

"Some days."

"He'll drive his department nuts."

"He' a lab tech.  He wants NYPD."

"They're used to strange," he decided, hauling the guy up.  "Are you going to apologize to the nice saleslady?  She doesn't make enough to put up with these sort of things."

Xander came out in the first suit.  "No she doesn't.  She clearly deserves more since she could tell my size by looking, even with a baggy t-shirt and jeans.  That's a skill I never will have."  She smiled and shooed him off to try on the others.   He went willingly because that's the sort of guy he was and it was keeping him out of trouble.

"Not that one," John ordered.  "You look like a male escort."

Xander looked at himself in the mirror.  "So I can't have it for dates, Uncle John?"

"No."

The saleslady smiled.  "Some day he'll want to give you great-nephews."

John shook his head.  "No he can't.  They'll be evil little smartasses just like him."  Xander smirked at him and walked off to change, leaving that one in his buy pile.  John finally got him out of there and back to the department store, finding about the same thing.  "Don't make them come get this guy," he complained quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "You'd yell if I used it offensively."

"Not this time I won't.  Go for it.  Consider it a pop quiz."

Xander concentrated, letting that little hormone problem out to play for a bit.  He walked up behind the guy with the gun, sniffing him.  "Nice aftershave.  I love a man that smells like gun powder."  He walked off, making the man moan and follow him.  He winked, leading him into a changing room.  The guy was growling.  Once in there he was easily knocked out and tied up using his belt.  He came out and found the same fitter, giving him a wink.  "He was a bad boy.  He needs spanked."  He let his hormones come back down.  "How do my suits look, Paul?"

"I'm sure they look very good.  You just...."  Xander let him see then kicked the door shut and led him upstairs, waving at the security guard watching.  Paul said something to him, making him go check on the poor guy. "Are you undercover?"

"No.  There's a mild death threat to me from some cranks in another country.  I have to be a bit dangerous thanks to that."  Paul moaned and nearly went to his knees there.  "Not in the middle of the store.  My uncle would be really pissed if he thought I was flirting again.   He nearly had to pepper spray the last one I really flirted with."  He walked him off, taking his arm to escort him properly.  "So they look good?"

"You will look *fine*," he promised him.  He went to personally get them and help him try them on.  He saw his uncle shaking his head as he walked off again.  "Pity but he'll learn to love this side of you too," he said with a wink.

"You're not taken, right?  I can't flirt with taken."

"No, not taken in the least.  He left last week with some little boy who was only nineteen and prettier."

Xander kissed him on the cheek.  "Pretty is skin deep.  Skills, brains, and love should go deeper than that."  He winked and tried on his last suit, getting drooled at.  "I do look fine.  Even John would have to agree."  He got out of it and let Paul pounce him a bit.  It was all in fun and stress-relief.  Then he added another tip to his jar for the phenomenal advice, writing that on the slip with it.  Paul smiled back so Xander left with his bag of suits.  Paul counted and saw the remark, making him smile.  It wasn't for the *service*, it was for helping him.  That was so sweet!

John saw Xander walking his way.  "You done?"

"Yup.  Let's hit somewhere that doesn't have guys with guns in the jewelry section."  John groaned and walked him off, letting him call that in.  One of the women with the guns stopped him.  He handed off the suit bag as ordered and kept his hands in plain sight until she turned around to snap an order.  Then he hauled he closer and put her into a choke hold as a shield, moving her gun to bring down the others.  "I only came in to shop.  How rude can you be?" he demanded.  "You should not be able to be stopped by normal people if you're doing this job.  Lupin certainly can't.   Nor should you haul cute young men in to make them an accomplis."  He walked off, taking his suit bag back as they walked past the incoming officers.  "All down from what I heard," he called.

The SWAT commander from earlier stepped into his path.  "What did you do?"

"I was walking past.  She wanted me.  I stopped her and grazed them so they're down and whining.  Then I told them normal guys shouldn't be able to stop them because someone like Lupin can't be stopped by normal guys like me."  He grinned.  "I was only here to pick up suits."

"We're going to get dinner and go home, Officer," John assured him, pulling on Xander's arm.  "He's incredibly sorry these things happened today."  He nearly grabbed the boy by the ear but he'd whine at him.  "No more, Xander."

"Downside of using it offensively," he complained quietly.

"Uh-huh."  He shoved him a bit.  "Car.  Now.  We'll get dinner on the drive back."

"Yes, Uncle John."  He grinned and went to put the new bags in the car.  "Can we make one stop at the pawn shop?  There's one I heard is great."

"Hell no.  One of your fanclub might be there."

"It's a demon place," he teased with a grin.  "With guns."

John considered it.  "We'll drive past it."  Xander got in to drive, making John get in with a sigh.  He was tired all of a sudden.  He didn't know why.  The pawn shop was a demon store.  It had two demon toughs outside it smoking in the sunlight.  No cigarettes, just smoking from the sunlight.  "Are we sure they're harmful?"  Xander pointed at the ones inside.  He stared then moaned.  "Fine."  They got out of the car.  The two demon toughs screamed like girls and ran inside.  "I think they've heard of us."

"I have got to get rid of the rest of that Sunnydale taint," he said dryly.  John nodded.  They walked in.  "Hi.  I came to look at the pretty weapons.  Just guns today?"

The demon behind the counter whimpered.  "Harris?" he moaned.

"Say my name again, watch watchers show up," he warned.  The demon shuddered.  "So, got anything I should see?"  The demon pointed and let him into the back room.  "Oh, baby," he moaned, petting something.

John looked.  "Not unless it's an apocalypse.  You have plenty."  The demons all started to pray.  He looked at them.  "He only takes out the harmful things."

"Yeah but they tried to dust me right before grad," Xander called, walking out with something.  He test fired it at one of the toughs, making him melt.  "Hey, they got it to work.  I need this one, John.  It's a prototype and handy for hunters."

"Take, please, and no hard feelings?" the demon behind the counter offered.  "Anything you want, Knight."

"I'm retired to helping people by being a cop, guys."  They swore and backed off farther.  "If you have any humans working here and they're illegal in some way, I'd have them beg the local boys.  And I'd say you guys should probably head off too."  He pointed the gun at one of them, making him go to his knees praying.  "They tried to send a poisoned assassin after me, John.  One who could kill me with a touch.  Fortunately she liked oral sex too."

John swatted him like he should have earlier.   "I didn't need to hear that."

"Sorry."  He grinned.  The demons ran when he turned it on them.  "Hey, that's no fair.  I haven't even talked to you about who made this one."  He shrugged and handed it to John and restocked their bullets, carrying them out to the car.  He saw an officer watching and grinned and waved.  "They tried to kill me a few years ago.  So he's running in case I find him again and turning himself in, Officer.  You're welcome.  He said we could have them if I gave him a head start."  The officer nodded slowly, giving him a look like he was insane while reaching for his radio.   John came out with one of the begging ones, putting him next to the cruiser before getting in to drive.  "Dinner?" Xander asked.  "For some reason I'm really hungry."

John glared at him.  "Not even Dean could pull off that remark, kid.  Not cute."

"Yes I am.  Paul and the salesladies said I was."

"I don't care if they did want sex as a tip.  Not cute."  He hit the interstate and headed back toward home.  He could stop them for dinner across the state line.  He turned up the radio at the news announcement of Vice busting that gun dealer, wincing at the reports.

"I don't think they liked the artillery closet," Xander told him.

"Take a nap."

"But..."

"Take.  A.  Nap."

"Yes, Dad."  He tipped his seat back so he could take a nap.  John rolled down the windows a little bit to give him some air.  Xander liked the air on when he slept.  It'd make him more likely to sleep most of the way back to Louisiana.  Though, Dean would probably giggle himself into peeing on the car seat when he heard about this one.  Not even Sammy could get into that much trouble.

"It was all on sale," Xander said quietly.

John reached over to nerve pinch him, making sure he took a long nap.  Before his mind finished warping and he was like the kid.

The Many Mystical Mes 4.

Xander looked back at his roomie, finding others with him waiting for the graduation ceremony to start.  Sam, Dean, and Bobby were all there.  He smiled and waved then turned back around as the school's president moved up to speak.  Inside he was bouncing with joy.  He hadn't expected the guys to show up too.  The person next to him glared but the one behind him patted him so he quit wiggling and calmed himself down.  The speeches went on and on and on until it was finally time to go up to get their diplomas.  Their program had theirs later that afternoon for individual attention.  John had promised they could go to that one too.  He walked up to get his diploma, shaking the person's hand with a grin.  She smiled back and he moved on.  He grinned at John, waving it a little bit, getting a nod of 'good job' from him.  He spotted a few people who shouldn't be in the crowd but that was fine.  He'd put up with Buffy.  He sat down again and got comfortable.  He also pulled out his phone to text John to spot her too.  Just in case it was a harbinger of trouble.  He put his phone back and paid more attention as the rest of them were called.

***

Xander nearly pounced Sam.  "I did it!"

"I know you did.  Good job, Xander."  Xander beamed and bounced into Dean to hug him too.  Then Bobby then John.  Sam grinned.  "Buffy's here?"

Dean nodded.  "I talked to her for a second.  She said she only wanted to see and she was supposedly in Miami."  That got a nod from them.  "Dinner, guys?"

"There's a program celebration and stuff at one," John told them.  "Xander's getting individual congratulations then."  They nodded they could go.  He smiled at the boy.  "With a good GPA and I got the letter from the NYPD academy," he said quietly, holding it up.  Xander beamed and took it to look at, letting him see it when he squealed.  "Good job."  He patted him on the back so he'd let him go and hug someone else.

Xander turned, finding Buffy watching them. "I got into the academy."

"Good."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "We miss you but we know it's better for you and safer.  Plus you'll be doing great things for humanity."  She stroked his cheek.  "Mom and Dawn said good job too."  He smiled.  "Now, I have to get to Miami so I can fly home on my scheduled flight."

"Want to go to lunch with us?" he offered.

"Nah. I saw one of us in the crowd.  I'll lead him off."  Xander nodded, letting her fade into the crowd.

John nodded.  "Let's hit lunch.  We have a real dinner out planned, guys."  They nodded at that, following him out.  "We'll have something quick somewhere safer then head out tonight?" he asked Xander quietly.

"Yes, John.  Do we have somewhere set up?"

"I will by then."  Xander nodded at that.  He let him get in to drive, looking at his boys.  "Burger King now and then real food later?"

"Works for us," Dean agreed.  Sam nodded.  Bobby too.  "Where is it?"

"Three blocks that way," he said with a point.  They nodded and got into their cars to drive that way while he and Xander talked about the danger.  He hadn't spotted any known watchers but Buffy would have a more up-to-date list of them.

***

Xander walked into his individual program ceremony, pulling his advisor aside.  "Which one showed up?" he asked quietly.

"Harrison's daughter was graduating with her English Lit masters."   He grimaced.  "He didn't see you.  I had him outside when you were on stage, Javier."  The boy relaxed. "Besides, you're probably moving soon."

"Tonight.  I got accepted into the academy."  He showed her the letter, earning a smile and a hug.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  We'll do it soon.  Not too many speeches."  She smiled at the ones piling in to guard him.  "Family?"

"John's family.  They've been watching over me to make sure I only go evil when I have too much chocolate."

She laughed, giving him a swat so he could go find his seat.  "He's been a good boy for us and most of the teachers love him," she assured them.  "His new lab will have a good set of recommendations for him from us and his internship."  They smiled and nodded, going to find their seats.  She went to her own, nodding at a few others who she had mentored.  She loved her students and she'd miss them all but it was time for them to move on and fledge into the real world.

***

Buffy ran into the watcher at the airport.  "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"Giles wanted me to stop in and say hi to someone he knew on my layover."  She smiled.  "Then I'm going to Miami for a graduation down there.  Why?  What're you doing here?"

"My daughter was getting her Masters."

"Congrats.  I hear those are really hard.  With what I had to do when I was taking my undergrad, way back when, I'm sure it drove her nuts so tell her I said congrats."

"Is Harris here?"

"No."

"Is he in Miami?"

"Don't know.  I'd imagine he'd be moving next year since we heard he started college then had to change majors because you guys still suck and blow."  A security guard gave her a dirty look.  "Some of his friends are hunting a friend of mine for supposedly being evil.  He's only evil on too much sugar, but they're mostly idiots."  She walked off.  "Toodles.  I'll tell Tara's cousin you said hi when I see her for her graduation next weekend."

He pulled out his ID.  He had a good fake one for the US.  "She's friends with someone on a watch list."

"Are you here to pick her up, Agent Harrison, or just to watch her?"

"No, I was in for my daughter's graduation," he admitted, glaring at her back.  "Let me call my boss."  He moved out of the traffic to do that.  "Travers, Harrison.  I ran into Summers here in Louisiana.  Said Rupert told her to say hi to someone he knew on her way to Miami for the graduation next weekend of a friend's cousin.  Claims she didn't know.  What do you want me to do?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  I'll have her stopped."  The guard was listening and called it in. "Security at the airport is helping."  He hung up and followed him to where they were stopping her in the line.

She looked at the guards.  "I'm not the dangerous one.  He is."

"He's a federal agent, ma'am," the guard told her.

"No he's not.  He's a British citizen."  They stared.  "Really.  Their group keeps trying to kill me and my friends.  They also got busted by the Brit government for having major weapons stores.  It's one of the reasons they're trying to hunt down a friend of mine to kill him."

"We're taking you to our office until we can sort this out," one guard decided.

"Sure.  My plane doesn't go for another two hours," she said with a small grin.  "If it takes longer can I rearrange my flight?"

"If at all possible, ma'am."  He led her off by her arm, going to call in the local PD to talk to them.  The hunt team got there about the same time.  They tried to bust in to take the young woman by force.  The local PD was not happy with them.

Neither was the redhead who showed up.  "I thought you didn't have these sort of problems, Buff," Willow said grimly, freezing the watchers.  "There, you can have the psycho Brits who want to hurt us."  She checked Buffy over.  "You have a good rest in Miami.  And call Dawn.  She wants pictures of hotty boys."  She disappeared again.

"Another one that they want to kill," Buffy told the guards, who were shaking their heads.  She smiled at the officers.  "They're from a group called the Watchers Council out of England.  Up by Stonehenge.  Their people got them a few years back for being scary vampire hunters with artillery in Leeds."

"Interesting.  Why were they trying to take you hostage, ma'am?"

"Because they decided me and my two best friends are evil after the redhead earlier goofed majorly and nearly drove our male friend insane.  Him they want to dissect then kill.  Us they just want to kill.  He's in hiding."

One stiffened, looking at her.  "I think I heard about that."

She smiled.  "Really?"

"They were in Chicago a few years back?"

"Yeah, they took some of his teachers hostage then."

"I heard from one of them.  I'll let them know they're back in the US so they can take precautions."

"Oh, I'm sure they know.   They knew earlier."  She checked the clock.  "Can I go get lunch before my flight, guys, or do you need a statement?  You guys are so much more together than the dirty ones where I live.  They tried to say I murdered a robot once."

The senior officer coughed.  "That's pathetic."  He took her off to get her statement.  She got put onto her plane to Miami and they walked the idiots off to deal with them while that one officer called is contact at the school to warn them.  He heard the boy was already gone and it was good.

***

"Elton, you need a haircut," the academy instructor said on the first day.

"Yes, sir, I've been too busy to do that.  I only graduated last week and had to move, sir."

"We have a barber shop.  Hit it tonight."

"Yes, sir."

He looked him over.  "I know your program had to do self-defense.  How much do you have?"

"Three years of martial arts off campus; my senior self-defense class I helped with the females in the class.  I still suck at climbing ropes but my running time is better."

"Interesting.  Most of you do PT.  You stay."  He nodded, staying there.  When they moved off he moved closer.  "I heard you have an on-going issue, boy?"

"I have people who want to hunt me down and kill me, sir.  That's why I switched schools in the middle of my training.  It's why my records are under two different names."

"Witness protection?"

"Nope.  Home schooled myself in it."  He stared at him.  "I also did neat things like turn in their weapons stores in Leeds to their government.  One tried to take my friend the day I graduated.  They tried to take my teachers in my first school."

"You sure you want to do this?"

"Being in a lab I can still help others.  Plus I can do good work for the world, sir," he said more quietly.  "I picked the NYPD because their labs are top notch, like I am, and because I'd be safer here in such a large, diverse department.  Even if they found out I was in the city there's nearly a shot in hell of them actually finding me here.  The lab boss I want to work for is supposed to be very protective and I'll be warning him of this as well.  If my teachers haven't."

"Good.  You're realistic.  If they show up here?"

"I'll warn and hide until further action is called for then I'll tell those in command what they need to know to keep others safe."

"Who are these others?"

"Watchers Council," he said very quietly.  "They hunt vampires and demons."

"Fruitcakes?"

"No comment."

He stared at him.  "You believe in that stuff?"  Xander moved his shirt out of the way to show a very large scar that could have only come from a sharp claw.  "How did you get that?"

"Claw," he said, tucking his shirt back in.  "To be honest, sir, my friend goofed majorly and somehow they decided I'm evil because of that.  I know there's a local community but they have no problem from me.  I'm hiding in semi-plain but protected sight."

"Your uncle?"

"Another hunter who watches over me."

"Why?"

"Because if I wanted to go evil, I have the brains to do it to them and I don't like that about myself," he said quietly, staring him down.  "Which is why I have him to bounce ideas off of and things.  He's good about reminding me to eat and sleep when I forget too," he finished with a grin.  "He's a good dad to me."

"Fine.  Go warm up with them.  Does the commandant know?"

"I'd assume so; I put it on my application.  With letters from my teachers and the officers down there who had to arrest some at the airport the same day I graduated."  He walked off, going to warm up.  "Come on, guys.  We can do better than this.  Or else they'll wake us up at three in the morning to run."  They groaned and did it better.  One gave him a sideways inquisitive look.  "I have a death threat against me," he told him.  "He wanted to know why."

"That's bad."

"Sometimes, yeah."  He nodded.  "But the NYPD is a huge department.  They have a shot in hell of finding me up here."

"Good.  Probably better for you," he agreed.  "Help me stretch my back?"  He moved to do that.  "So, you're...."

"Javier Elton."

"Charles Picknel."  He shook his hand and they went back to stretching.  The instructor came over to run them through their new daily PT routine, letting them do that then go for their now-daily runs.

***

"Elton," a female instruction called, making him jump and turn to face her after checking around.  "Good instincts.  You have an interview in a few hours.  I suggest you clean up."

"Uniform, ma'am, or real clothes?"

"Real clothes."  She handed him the slip.  "Go there."

"Yes, ma'am."  He jogged off to shower and change in the dorms, going to his appointment.  He caught a cab, which was nice enough.  Didn't smell too badly.  The lab was in a huge high rise, which was odd to him but that was fine too.  He found the receptionist, showing her the slip.  "I was told I have an interview in a few minutes?" he asked quietly.

"Let me call to check."  She called up there then signed him in. "He'll be right down."

"Thank you."  He sat down to wait, making sure his hands weren't too wet with sweaty palms.  When the man he remembered came off the elevator he wiped them off again then walked over.  "Detective Taylor, Javier Elton, sir."  He shook his hand.  "You wanted to speak to me early?"

"I did.  Come up to my office."  The boy walked beside him to the elevator, letting him glance at him.  "Tired after today's exercise?"

"No, sir.  Mostly because I forgot to sleep last night."

"You *forgot*?" he asked.

Xander nodded.  "Now and then I forget to do that and eat, sir.  I get stuck in my thoughts."

"Why?"

"Longer than average story."

"Does this have to do with the section on your application that's basically a warning about British people?"

"Yes, sir."  They came off and he followed him to make sure he didn't seem to know where he was going.  They walked into his office and he closed the door, going to parade rest in front of the desk.

"Sit."  Xander sat down, looking at him.   "You didn't check out the room?"

"It's glassed in.  I saw that no one was hiding in here when we walked up to it."

"You're combat trained?"

"I can't talk about my past before they wanted to kill me, Detective."

"You're not officially in Witness Protection."

"No, I'm not.  I'm simply hiding for my life."  He shifted.  "Even if I told you, I'd have to show you so you believed, Detective Taylor.  I'm from a place like that one street, Penguin Street."  Mac shuddered.  "I was helping out there when something happened and they decided I had the ability to go evil.   Which I will if they ever catch me and try to kill me but so far I haven't.  I've been very good at staying on the light side and any urges I have to destroy them are kept down with the help of the guy who's helping me hide myself."

"Who is?"

"Another hunter of the less than peaceful down things down there."

Mac stared at him.  "Let's just say I know a bit about those things."

"The Watchers Council wants to dissect me after one of my friends made a magical mistake that nearly drove me insane for a few weeks."  He shifted again, glancing at the door then at him.  "She made it so I had to view some other versions of me across the realms," he said very quietly.  "Which is actually why I picked this field.  I enjoyed it in a few of them."

"I see."  He considered it.  "Why would they consider that evil?"

"I keep memories and skills from possessions."

"That's different."

"Not fully.  Others have.  The only other person that's been documented doing this spell went insane.  We're not sure why the ones she dragged into it when she did it, or her, aren't insane this time.  Hence the wanting to dissect me."

"Anything else I should know about?"

Xander manifested a very small ball of light.  Mac glared so he made it go away.  "It's not that hard but I don't do it at work or bring out the wings I gained thanks to one.  To everyone but the guy who watches over me I'm a normal guy with normal skills and a sincere love of guns.  Which I am.  I love guns."  He grinned.  "I was a weapons person even before this.  This way I get to do what I love and help people while still hiding in fairly protected sight."

"Would they come here?"

"I don't think so.  I know they haven't tried my teachers since the ones that took my ones in Chicago hostage."  He moaned.  "I know there's a hunt and capture order on me.  I know there's a few in the city.  I also know that this city is big enough to lose me in it and if I note that they're getting close you'll allow me to hide myself better as long as it doesn't endanger anyone else."

"Did that other one of you work with me?"

"There were a few of me who were CSI.  One worked with you after an internship in Las Vegas and then Chicago for a few years.  One of me worked with Horatio Caine after a Federal internship.  One of me worked with the Miami lab then up here until they got mor budget down there."

"Interesting."

"I would've tried for Las Vegas because I found a guy out there who I seriously loved in that life out there, but I don't think Grissom would understand a bit of this.  I'd have to do a lot more proving what I was hiding from, which would expose me a lot more."

"It would," he agreed.  "What happens if they show up here?"

"I tell you.  I hide, see if they're actually close or just interfering in something else.  If they don't have wind of me, I'll stay protected and work from home on reports if I have to go that far.  Or whatever you think I can do safely at that time.  If they're here for me and I have to do something, I'll disappear.  Change my name, have my credentials changed over, and possibly go to Miami," he finished with a small smile.  "In that life I worked well with Speed and Eric."

"Interesting."

"I have a smart-ass t-shirt habit that made Speed cackle."

"Very interesting."  Xander pulled out a picture to hand over, making him smirk.  "That is a bit smart-ass, yes.  Outside dress code for this lab, Javier."  He handed it back.  "Are you sure you want to work here?"

"I may be young.  I may be in danger.  But I do love weapons and I'd die if I had to stay away from helping people."  He put his wallet back.  "I know I have to prove myself.  I have no expectations of favoritism or anyone babying me because of this, sir.  Hell, in that life I had a missing eye and I had to force things so I could do my work without people staring at me.  I'll do the same this time if I have to."

"Are they going to be a danger to other officers?  You mentioned they kidnaped your former teachers."

"And one tried to pretend to be a Fed in an airport where I graduated.  They got him arrested when the whole bag and tag team came for my former friend that he caught after my graduation.  They're more likely to kidnap than to shoot others.  Steal me from a scene or something if they catch me.  Another reason I want to be a *lab* tech.  I'm only field rated to go out on calls because it's a good backup minor and its helpful in any department."

"That's a good plan.  It's protective but lets you handle things that you want to handle. What would you have done if you didn't go this way?"

He shrugged.  "I don't know."  He frowned.  "I didn't give it much thought really.  Maybe nursing school?  I've got some field medic training from necessity in my former life."

"That's a good skill to have sometimes.  Bandaging?"

"Stitching down to the muscle layers actually.  I had to a few times."  Mac gaped.  He nodded.  "It's a bit dangerous sometimes."

"What other skills aren't listed on your forms?"

"Vampire hunting, we had to use some artillery here and there.  Well, once and a bomb once.  We helped bring down a military unit trying to turn demons into military grunts.  I can read Latin and a few other dead languages.  The glowy ball stuff.  The wings."  He shrugged.  "I was mostly planning, backup, and grunt support to them."

"You sound like you did more."

"They were having special girl syndrome.  I'm aware I do have some low self esteem thanks to that.  John's tried to cure some of it."

"Good."

"Oh, and I can do alchemy but I only used it to get a teacher who was making drugs to leave the school by giving him how I did it."

Mac raised an eyebrow.  "You can?"  Xander nodded.  "Pure gold?"

"Twenty-two carat.  I haven't done it in a while."

"Funding your education?"

"Yup, sure did," he agreed dryly, smirking some.  "I know I constitute a small risk, Detective Taylor.  I know that I'm a bit strange thanks to my past.  Be thankful I'm not like that one since he was seriously more warped by the girls in my former life and called things like football gay sex in teams."  Mac burst out laughing.  "Basically.  By the time I start I can get you the address of the standard watchers in the city so you can make sure I don't have anything to do with them on a case.  I know they have a bookstore, a weapons store, and another place in town.  There's one pre-slayer in training locally.  I plan on staying *far* away from them.  So far Queens is doing it for me."

"Good.  How is the academy going?"

"I think I freaked out a teacher asking if we ran into a bomb on a crime scene and bomb squad was busy could we call it in while we were working on it."

"Can you?"

"For smaller things.  I know I'm not all knowing.  Yet."

"Good."  He leaned forward.  "I like that you're honest but I do not want to have you endanger the people in this lab, Xander."

"You knew?"

"One of them knows me.  He got drunk and complained about you in my hearing in the past."

Xander nodded.  "I figured many of them did since they called someone back from the dead to kill me."

"Is he trying too?"

"No, the compulsion will only work if I go evil," he said calmly.  "Which I don't plan on doing, but he does say I'm evil when I get too much chocolate."

"Good to know."  He stared at him.  "If it happens...."

"You're my second call, right after him."

"Good."  He shook his hand.  "If you can pass the academy I'll see you here in a few months.  I'll arrange an official interview with the local head of ballistics at that point."

"I don't think I'm going to have a problem passing unless they won't pass me because I can't climb a rope.  Ladders, walls, fences, but not a rope."  He stood up.  "Thank you, sir."

"Not a problem.  With that warning on your file I had to make sure."

"Of course you did."  He grinned.  "If I do stay here, should I try to move my small collection of guns locally?"

"How gun nutjob are you?"

"I licensed everything that I could, but with my past.... I'm overly-cautious."

"Are we talking apocalypse vault?"

"In my sanctuary.  Not here.  Here I have a few guns."

"I don't want to know, do I?"

"No, not in graphic detail, no, sir."

"Leave it there.  Legal weapons only, Elton."

"Yes, sir."  He saluted with a smile then left, going back to the academy with a stop for a milkshake and calling John.  "The detective over the labs wanted to see what sort of threat I'd bring down on his people so he pulled me out for the day.  Yes, I'm having a milkshake now since I missed lunch again.  No, I'll sleep tonight, John.  I promise.  Thank you for nagging."  He took a sip.  "I'm good with him.  I'll have an official interview in a few weeks."  He took another drink, paying the cabbie then getting out.  "I'm back here so I've got to go.  We get a free weekend next weekend so I'll come home then.  Thanks, John."  He hung up and turned off his phone before heading inside.  He presented himself at his instructor's door.  "Sir."

"Enter.  I heard Taylor had you pulled out."  He looked up, watching him drink his milkshake.  "Forget lunch?"

"Yup, and to sleep last night," he admitted.  He sat down.  "He wanted to know what sort of threat they might pose against his people.  I was honest about it and he agreed it wasn't too horrible to risk as long as I gave him advanced warning.  John's looking up any people they might have locally for him.  I'll have a normal interview when I get out of here."

"That's the way it usually goes after your rookie ride-along time."  He looked him over.  "So far you're doing all right.  Your PT skills are a bit weak, especially after you haven't slept.  Your defensive driving is a bit weak as well since you don't want to be that aggressive."

"Then again, I'd be a lab tech," he pointed out.

"True, not the usual rookie cop.  You're well within passing most everything.  Your PT scores are a bit low."

"I can kick ass on the tests next week, sir."

"Do so."  That got a nod.  "Defensive driving as well."

"Yes, sir."

"Good."  Xander threw out the empty cup.  "Right now you should be taking a test."

"I'll report to the teacher after I'm done to arrange for a makeup time.  Then it's dinner instead of late PT?"

"It is.  Do you have plans for next weekend?"

"I'm going to go home and pet my actual bed and all my books."   He smirked at that.  "I am."  He stood up.  "Thank you, sir."

"I figured it'd come sometime, kid.  Go away."  He nodded, heading to talk to the teacher since their classtime was nearly over with.  He shook his head, making a note about that talk in his file.  Taylor would want him to be stronger in case it was necessary for his survival.  Though he did want to see the kid on the range.  Maybe he'd be able to figure out their little problem with that one cubicle.

***

Two weeks later Xander walked up to his class's advisor.  "Sir, can I have ten minutes of your time?"

"Are they back?"

"No, but one of the cadets is off without leave and I have an idea why."  The instructor looked at him.  He moved closer to whisper in his ear, getting a nod.  "I don't want to say anything about him, sir, but I am a CSI trained officer.   I've smelled more than my fair share of blood and his locker reeks of it.  I was helping his roomie last night with his upcoming test and even he was complaining but he called it nasty socks smell.  When I walked him back to his room I could tell it wasn't socks."

"I can do a dorm inspection tonight."

"Sir, I know he has someone on the staff who would tell him.  That's why they haven't busted him for missing PT runs.  Or so I'd assume," he said at the unhappy look.  "We've been running as a group and he's not there.  It's fairly obvious.  Like the day I had to walk the one pregnant woman up to the infirmary for her cramping.  You got it reported to you that we were missing and had to check up on us.  You haven't been told about him until today I'm guessing."

"Good point.  Let me look into that, Elton.  Good instincts to bring it to me."

"Thank you, sir."  He left, going back to his assigned spot for lunch.

The instructor considered it then went to talk to the dorm supervisor.  "Have you had any complaints about Picknel's room?"

"Bad laundry smells.  Nothing too unusual.  I was going to call an inspection later on."

"Another cadet thinks it's blood, not laundry."

"That Elton boy is strange."

"He's a CSI."

"No wonder."  He grabbed his keys and they went to do an informal search.  It wasn't admissible but he had agreed that the academy could search his things with proper cause.  He opened the boy's footlocker and gasped, stepping back turning green.  "That's not regulation."

"Or in good taste."  He squatted down to look at it, sighing in displeasure.  "Definitely not in good taste.  Call someone, put the cadets in their rooms.  Picknel is somewhere, put his roommate with Elton's and get him here since he seemed to have figured it out."  He nodded, hurrying to do that and tell the commandant.

Xander walked in with the case he kept in his room, handing over some gloves.  "I thought he was torturing women, not men."  Two more officers came in.  "Guys, I'm a CSI trainee.  Want gloves?"  They took some and some menthol for their noses.  "It smelled worse last night."  The instructor opened up his other things, finding more in his roommate's locker.  "That's really not good."

"No, it's not," he agreed.  "Stay here, help them seal the scene.  I'm sure your brethren will want to ask you nosy questions.  I'll talk to his roommate."

"Yes, sir."  He closed his case and kicked it behind him.  A detective walked in, as noted by wearing a suit instead of a uniform.  "Sir, Cadet Elton.  CSI trainee.  I told the instructor that it was blood, not laundry stink, so he had me wait on you and my future coworkers."

"That's nice of him," he agreed.  "Why do you think it was blood?"

"Because it smelled like old blood, sir.  I was helping his roomie with a test prep last night and I went to him today before lunch.  Picknel is off campus somewhere."

"You a cadet team leader?"

"No, sir.  We don't have one picked at this point.  I'm the team cheerleader though," he offered with a small grin.

"Only a CSI can look at that and grin," he said, shaking his head.  "Field CSI?"

"Ballistics but I did take enough classes to qualify as a minor in trace and field work, Detective."

"Good.  Which lab?"

"I talked with Detective Taylor recently.  I'm hoping his."

"Even better."  Two CSI stomped in.  "This one Mac likes as your future ballistics person.  He said he told the instructor about the old blood stink being that instead of dirty laundry."

"You're the guy who trained in Louisiana," the female said.

"Yes, Detective Burns."

"You know me?"

"I've seen you working, heard the juvenile pouting in the dorms over your hind end, and heard you're very competent.  I'm looking forward to working with you and CSI Messer there as your gun geek."

She smirked.  "Smartass, I like that."

"In many ways and on many t-shirts, Detective.  The instructor found some in his roommie's closet as well."  He got out of their way.  "I grabbed my kit for gloves so I would not touch a thing when he ordered me to help."

"Who did?"

"The instructor, ma'am."

"Good," Messer said, nodding a bit.  "You took which classes?"

"Twelve hours of field classes, fifteen of trace, and the full ballistics plus some gun petting time with their local department when someone went on maternity leave, CSI Messer."

"Not bad."  He looked then grimaced.  Xander handed over his menthol cream.  "Not a bad idea either.  So we heard you've got a special note in your file?"

"Some people have decided I'm evil.  Of course they hunt vampires and stuff and had serious artillery that I turned over after they decided I was evil."  He grinned sweetly.  "I'm hiding from them but I'll be damned if they get near me.  Detective Taylor already asked me questions to make sure they wouldn't try to put any of you in danger trying to get me."

"They hunt vampires?" Danny asked.  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"I don't know.  They're Brits and they're pushy about it."  Aiden gave him the oddest look so he grinned.  "I'm hiding fairly well from them, Detective."

She moved closer.  "I heard about them."

"Did you hear one was pretending to be a federal agent to get a friend in an airport and had a bag team break into their security area with officers present?"

"Nope.  Didn't hear that.  You?"

"Nah.  A former friend.  They want her too.  They think she's too old."

"Ah."  She lead him to the hall, looking at him.  "Harris?" she muttered.  He nodded.  "Here?  Do you know how many are in the city?"

"I gave him a list."

"That's good."

"He knows too.  He knows one."

"Ah.  So you're...."

"A gun geek, yes.  I love my guns."  He grinned sweetly again.  "That's why I turned them in for their apocalypse vault when they put out a contract on me."

"Even better.  Keep your nose clean."

"I am.  I'm doing good."

"Good."  She let him back inside.  Both guys gave them funny looks.  "I know why he's being hunted.  Mac does too."  Xander nodded.  "And yes, he is a gun geek in a very big way."

"And swords and crossbows...."  Xander muttered, trailing off to make her laugh.

She snorted and bopped him on the arm.  "Whatever."  She got down to look at the parts in the trunk.  "What's in your kit, kid?"  He moved it over with a foot, letting her see.  "Gather the parts for the ME.  Bag and notate.  Consider it a pop quiz."

"Yes, ma'am."  He got down to do that, doing it by the textbook but a bit quickly. "Should I gather the stuff that's just blood soaked?"

"Yup.  We'll be confiscating everything in the trunk so give me an inventory too."  He nodded, moving to do that while she and Danny got the closet.  "Any other hiding areas or areas he likes to visit?"

"That grove out back.  I've seen him thinking out there a few times or maybe praying.  The one with the memorial obelisk."  That got a nod and a note taken.  "I know he's AWOL now.  He wasn't in formation for PT or our run.  Which is when I went to the instructor."  Another teacher came in.  "Ma'am, our cadet advisor ordered me to help them.  I'm sorry I'm missing the test.  May I take it tonight?"

"Over dinner."

"I can do that."  She nodded, looking over his shoulder and turning a bit green.  He smiled.  "Trainee CSI," he reminded her.

She patted him on the head.  "Get another haircut soon, Elton."  She left them alone.

Danny smirked at him.  "I got that too."

"I think mine grows too fast.  This is my second once since classes started."  The detective shook his head.  "Hey, I could have waist-length hair," he offered.

"Not in the labs you can't.  Not unless you pull it back," Aiden assured him.

He grinned.  "Of course.  With hairnet if necessary."  He got back to work.  "His issued firearm isn't here.  Only a twenty-two.  We were issued forty-fives."  He held it up once it was bagged.  "It has blood on the sight I think but I don't have my tools to break it down here."

"We'll do that at the lab," she said, taking it to look at.  "Nice bagging job.  Even got some of the air out."

"I didn't want the blood to spoil."  He went back to looking.  "Eww.  Girl parts.  I thought he was torturing women since he smelled like perfume a few times."  He held it up once he had it bagged, making them all grimace.   He put that aside and found the false bottom, gagging at it.  "Oh, that stinks even over the menthol."  He backed away, waving a hand near his face.

Danny looked and grimaced.  "That is gross."  He helped the kid bag it.

"Welcome to the wonderful world of stinky field work, cadet," Aiden said dryly.  "You get the shit jobs until the next one comes in."

"Of course I do, but I will torment anyone who tries rookie hazing until they piss themselves in the hall."  He grinned.  She laughed.  Danny cackled, nodding a bit.  The ME's people got there.  "I've been putting the bags into the collapsible plastic bucket, guys, but we've got one more."  He finished bagging that one once Danny had everything he needed from it.  He let them pick them up.  Then he gout out of the way.  "Inventory's on the log sheet, Detectives.  Anything else I can help with before I go puke?"

"Go puke," Danny ordered.  Xander took his case with him to do that.  "He good?" he asked Aiden quietly.

"Very.  He's a very good gun geek."  She grinned.  "But he will torment someone until they do piss themselves.  I have no doubt he can."

"He'll be in danger?"

"Not a lot.  It's no worse than one with a former spouse that had an ass-kicking coming to them."

"Even better," Flack agreed from his note making.  "Let's go talk to our darling roomie and see if the psycho is back."  They finished up and left, sealing the room with tape.  He found the kid in there with the instructors.  "Not in your room?"

"No, sir.  He asked me to be here to hold his hand."  He shrugged.  "I won't interrupt."

"Thank you."  He sat down across from him.  "You thought it was what?"

"Stinky socks, Detective."

"Were you aware it was in your laundry?" Messer asked.

"I'll kill him," he snarled, looking at Xander.  "It was?"

He glanced at Aiden, who nodded.  "There was some evidence found in your laundry bag."

The guy hopped up.  "My uniforms?" he demanded coldly.

"Sweats, a t-shirt, socks, underwear.  Workout clothes," Danny told him.  He sat down at that.  "Have you seen him doing anything abnormal?"

"Sir, I thought I'd be arresting guys like Elton here," he said bluntly.  "He's strange and likes guns."

"Gun geeks like that go into ballistics labs," he said patiently.  "They love our guns for us too."

Xander looked at his.  "Yours looks okay."  He grinned.  "Hers looks uncomfortable, like it's pinching her."  She shifted it with a nod.  He looked at his fellow cadet.  "You've been here long enough to have a bad shit radar.  Any pinging?"

"Now and then he sneaks out but I thought he had a girl or something," he said, frowning at his feet.  "Maybe a boy but I don't care about that stuff."  He looked at him.  "It's clear John is yours."

"Uncle actually."

"Oh.  Sorry."

"No, I am bi.  I draw evil women."  He shrugged.  "Not something that comes up often."

"Whatever."  He looked at the detectives.  "Are you sure he's supposed to be *here* instead of a hospital?"

"Yeah, all CSI area bit strange," Flack assured him.  "You get used to it because working with them is good for your solve rate."

"I'll remember that when I become a detective some year."  He looked at them.  "I didn't think he was doing anything too *strange*.  I mean, I like girls, I figured he did too.  The stinky laundry I figured was a hygiene issue and he'd get yelled at for it by someone soon."  He shrugged a bit.  "What sort of clues would I have had?"

"How many times has he snuck out?" Danny asked.

"Ten, twelve."

"You didn't tell anyone?" Aiden asked.

"We stick up for our fellow officers, ma'am.  No matter what."

She smiled.  "Your daddy or momma a cop too?"

"My mother is.  She'd be appalled that anyone told on him for sneaking out."

"If it hadn't been for that blood stink I wouldn't have," Xander told him.  "The two just don't go together in a good way."

"Good point.  Though he could've been injured."

"We would've noticed that," Xander told him.

"I guess."  He shrugged.  "Are you watching him to hit on him?"

"He's not my brand of psycho, sorry.  Not unless he's actually a girl."

"Oh."  He looked at them, shifting away some.  "I don't know, guys.  I only thought he had a girl or something."

"That's fine," Flack assured him.

"Any strange reading habits or stuff he talked about?" Danny asked.

"His mother owns rabbits.  Does that count?  He told me about her bunny farm a few times."

Flack made note of that too.  "He ever talk about girls or guy?"

"Nope.  I caught him sniffing a Playboy once.  Mom said porn was bad for you, made you wrong."  He looked at Xander.  "Is that what happened to you?"

"No, I was surrounded by girls who didn't let me have any male influence," he said dryly.  "Focus."

"Yes, Elton."  He grimaced.  "I don't know.  I seriously don't know, guys.  I wish I had.  I would've said something sooner.  Next time someone starts talking to be about rabbits, I'll know to check on them for being psycho."

"Sure," Danny agreed.  "They'll probably assign you a new room and all that stuff later on.  Go check with your cadet supervisor."  He nodded, walking off.  He smirked at Xander.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Guys like that won't understand me anyway.  They're way too literal and linear thinkers."  He stood up.  "Though I would wonder if his mother lets him have a girlfriend."  He shrugged.  "I can hear Rosa in the halls.  She's pregnant so probably a bathroom break.  If you guys need me, yell."  He left them to talk.

Aiden looked at Flack.  "Rabbits?"

"Some people do raise rabbits."

"And some have them for a bunny test," Danny said, looking down the hall.  "Should you be out?" he asked the cadet.

"The baby says I have to pee or else I'm wetting the bed," she shot back, going to the bathroom.  "She overrules the instructors."

He shook his head.  "Things are more insane than when I went."

"My year too," Flack agreed, standing up.  "Think they were all his?"

"With two different sexes?" Aiden asked.  "Only a few reasons why he'd switch."  She saw someone go running past.  "That's a bad sign."  They followed, finding Elton holding their suspect down and a woman sobbing off to the side in the grass.  "Cuff him, Elton.  He's in custody."

"I am."  He flipped him over and cuffed him no matter how much he struggled.  Then he got up, coming to look at her.  "Do you need paramedics?" he asked, trying to stay soothing.  "Did he hurt you?"  She shook her head.  "It's all right, Professor."  He helped her up.  "Guys, let me put her in her office?"  They nodded so he walked her that way.  "Shh, have some tea and take a nap.  They'll get a statement soon."  He put her in there, turning to find the commandant.  "He had her at knife-point, sir."  He walked around him, heading back outside.  "His sidearm wasn't on him."  Aiden gave him an amused look.  "I full-body tackled him.  I would've felt it sometime during that.  He has a knife in his sock but no gun."

"Which means he's got a hidden area somewhere," she said.  "Any idea where?"

"I'd ask the professor since he didn't hurt her," he said, looking at her.  "The commandant was up there and a few of the other professors were going to check on her."  She went to do that.  Xander squatted down, tipping his head up to stare into his eyes.  "You'll tell them or they'll ask me," he said quietly, making the guy shudder.  "I am the alpha your momma warned you about.  Answer to them or me and then them."  He let him go and stood up, staring down at him.  "Where's your gun and the other places you've got stuff hidden?"

"You're a CSI, figure it out," he sneered.

Xander smirked.  "I thought I'd give you a chance before I dug.  That way you could hide things.  Like the desire to change sexes.  What's wrong?  Can't be a good enough evil girl in drag?"  He struggled then wailed and kicked at him.  Xander just stared at him.  "That's one."  The guy gaped and tried to scoot back.  "Where are they?  Beyond whatever nest we'll find by the obelisk?  Off campus and on."

"You can't know that!"

"I can know that.  You've got the leaves from the memorial tree all over you.  The same as she had them on the back of her jacket."  He moaned, shaking his head.  "You also smell like pine tar.  The only pine trees we have in our artificial forest are that way.  Or was that from an off-campus area?"

"I'm not saying anything without a lawyer."

Xander leaned down.  "That's your right, but it won't save you.  They have enough to put you in tonight and then amend charges."  He shuddered and tried to back away again.  "But since you asked for a lawyer, all we can do is stare at you until they get here."  He stared, counting to twenty mentally then the guy broke.

"All right! I have one out there by the stupid memorial and I have two off-campus where I bring my people to fix them so they're right!" he sneered.  " You're next."

"Uh-huh.  There's already a line.  You have to get behind my last psycho girlfriend first."  He slumped.  "Even then, I'd make you beg and take it, Picknel.  I'm no one's butt bitch."  The guy shuddered. "Or is that what you wanted?"

"Enough," Flack ordered.  "Is that what they wouldn't do for you?"

"No!"  He started to sob.  "I want my mother!"

"You'll be seeing her soon I'm sure when she brings your lawyer," Messer said, hauling him up.  "Thank you, Cadet Elton."  He walked him off, taking him to the car.  "Back to interrogation at the lab."  They nodded, driving him off.

"I think that kid'll drive Mac nuts," Flack said quietly.

"Yeah but he's good.  His ratings are excellent.  He knows something about artillery too and some construction stuff."  That got an amused look.  "The death threat stuff is probably going to be all right and if not, he'll suddenly leave and go into hiding for a bit."  He shrugged.  Aiden came out with the teacher.  "We done?"

"We're done for now.  We'll probably be back later to clean up his messy areas."  She handed her over.  "Unless you want me to do that now?"

"Sure, go for it," Flack offered with a grin.

"Fine."

"See if the cadets can track so we don't look like we're playing favorites," Danny offered.

"He's the only CSI Trainee this class," she complained.  She went back inside.  "We know he has a hidden area by the obelisk.  Can I have the cadets to search for it, Commandant?"

"That's fine.  Elton is getting some coffee and talking to his uncle, whose first words were 'did you draw another one'.  Is that the threat after him?"

"No, some cranks in another country think he's evil."  She grimaced.  "They're stupid though.  One pretended to be a Fed in an airport and called in a bag team with cops already on scene."  He cackled.  "Exactly.  He can handle it.  Get the brats for me?"

"Fine."

"If the pregnant one needs to she can sit out."

"I'll see if she's up to the hike."  He went to gather them.  "Rosa, are you fit for duty?"

"No, sir.  The nurse told me to sit down today and tomorrow."

"Fine.  Elton, lead the cadets searching the area around the obelisk."

"Sir, not my best skill," he lied.  "Peterson is a better cadet leader than I am.  I'm a good cheerleader, not a good platoon leader."

"Good to know," he said, nodding his approval of that honesty.  "Peterson, do that.  Help CSI Burns find that spot.  I want it off my campus now."

"Yes, sir.  Just that area?"

"Do a general search later with the scent dogs," Rosa ordered quietly.  "We have ones that'll smell blood and track it."  That got a nod and the commandant went to call one over while the others went to find the hidden spot.  She smirked at Xander, who smirked back and grabbed his kit to go with them.  That had been a sneaky move to keep himself out of noted status.

***

John looked over as Xander walked in and flopped down.  "Did you have to draw so many psychos, kid?"

"Not my fault he was killing people because he wanted to be trannie and his momma wouldn't let him."  John shuddered.  "Exactly."  He got up to get a drink and came back.  "Dinner?"

"Stove."  Xander beamed, gave him a hug, and went to scarf dinner.  "Did you forget?"

"All day."

"Yesterday too?" he asked dryly, watching him inhale the food.  It had been at least two days by the way he wasn't stopping to chew.

"Had a horny fit," he admitted, coming back with the food.  "We can order more later."

"I'm sure we can."

Xander came back to sit next to him at the table.  "How's everyone?"

"Decent enough.  Dean's worried about how many of them are in town."

"So are ten million other people plus visitors."  He ate another bite.  "We should be fine.  One of the CSI realized who I was and so did Taylor."  He shoveled in another bite.  "Ten more weeks, then six weeks of rookie ride-along time."  John grimaced.  "I know but it's mandatory."  He ate his last bite and went to get more.  "We start range classes next week.  The teacher told me I get to figure out what's going on with one cubicle since he heard I can shoot."

"What's going on with it?"

"There's an automatic thing that shoots at your bullets as you fire for some reason."  He shrugged.  "I don't know."  He sat down with more food again.  "Anything else going on in the rest of the world?"

"A few local hunts I've handled."  Xander grinned at that.  "One in New Jersey next week so I'll be heading on that for a few days while you're gone."

"You don't have to tie yourself to me, John."

"The compulsion means I can't get that far from you," he reminded him patiently.  He gave him a dirty look.  "Why can't we remove it?"

"Because they wove it into you as part of bringing you back."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "No hope of removing it?"

Xander shrugged.  "I've started to look but all the books are there."  He looked at the doorway he had set up back to his sanctuary area, getting up to go through it.  John moaned when he saw that.  Xander grinned before shutting the door.  He came back with a few books, handing him some.  Then he sat down to read and research.

"How big is your library?  All Dean and Sammy said was it was huge."

"We can go check if you want."

"Sure.  We should probably check the rest of the house anyway."  He followed him over there, looking at the library they came out across from.  He whimpered.  "Not even Sammy's this big of a book nerd, Xander."

"I know but I might need them and Ethan helped me find them."  He grinned.  "I can go find more."

"Please don't."  He walked off to check out the armory.  He paused, staring at the gear. "I'd run," he called.

"Some of it I had moved from Sunnydale," Xander called from the kitchen, walking in and handing him a cup of good coffee.  "Dean moved stuff on me again.  The little shit."  He looked in the newly christened and marked vault in there.  That's where most of the artillery was.  He checked, they had only left the empty cases out.  "We need to break those apart."  He walked off after petting his battle axe.  He heard a knock and checked then went back to the apartment, closing the door before answering it.  "Detective Taylor, come in please."  He glanced at the door.  "Let me tell my Uncle to give us time to talk."  He opened the door.  "Uncle John, Detective Taylor's here."

"I can stay here for a bit," he agreed.  He heard the door shut and lock, shaking his head.  The kid was going to drive him nuts.  He knew gun geeks - Dean was one.  He knew gun nutjobs - Caleb was one.  Xander was gun insane.

Xander sat down with a grin.  "Want some coffee or water, Detective?"

"No thanks."  He sat down, glancing at the books.  "Magical theory?"

"I'm researching a compulsion spell that got laid on someone."

"Interesting."  He looked at him.  "That guy you turned in.  You knew he was doing what when?"

"I started to put it together when I smelled the old blood.  Unfortunately I couldn't find a teacher when I casually looked and if I had went on a panicked run to them it would've outed me.  Plus I figured he had a teacher on his side since he never got in trouble for missing PT."  He sipped his coffee.  "You sure?"

"I'm fine, Javier."  He looked at him.  "Why didn't you tell anyone sooner that day?  Like at breakfast?"

"Because if I had them shut us down when he was there, he could've snuck out using the tunnels.  No one would've thought to seal those.  As soon as I noticed him gone I went to the instructor."

"If he had another victim?"

"He's been going out in a pretty set pattern.  Two casual, short ones then a few longer, intense ones that he comes back smelling like perfume from.  He was going out for a casual one so I was guessing he was picking a new target or moving along one he had been working on."

"He was.  You show good thoughts for serial killer work."  Xander grinned, taking another sip.  "Something else you saw?"

"Learned it hunting actually.  I draw a lot of psychos so I did some reading up on why people were like that."

"That's reasonable."  He smiled.  "We did get him and his last few chosen victims were talked to and made sure they were all right."  Xander beamed.  "Aiden and Danny said you were helpful and courteous, but a bit scary when you stared him down."  Xander nodded at that.  "No comment?"

"Way back in tenth grade I had a primal spirit that had a long...intense talk with me," he said, nodding at the doorway.

"Of?"

"Hyena. The matriarch."

"That's very interesting.  That's why you come off as a bit predatory and why you're also a bit dangerous.  That and your past skills?"  Xander nodded.  "That's very good to know."  He got up to figure out who was listening, letting Don Flack in.  "Problems?"

"I needed a statement from your future gun geek."  He looked at him.  "What did you do used to do?"

"A lot of things, including construction work."

"The mob's after you?"

"No, some insane assholes out of England are after me for being good and being myself after a friend goofed and drew me into it.  Her and our other friend they want to kill.  Me they want to dissect and then kill."

"Huh."  He stared at him.  Then at Mac, then back at him.  "Is this going to be a problem if say... a defense attorney asks you?"

"I can keep it at that level and not tell anything about my past.  Because then I'd be in danger and have to move cities and probably identities as well."

"Good point."  He sat down, looking around.  "What's the extra door?"

"I was wondering that myself," Mac admitted, looking at it.

"It goes back to my sanctuary, guys.  Including my self-defense area."

"So, your collection's there?" Mac asked.

"And some empty boxes, yeah."

"Boxes like artillery cases?" Mac asked.  "Because your old rep...."  He let it trail off with a look.

Xander unlocked the door.  "John?"  He came over.  Mac followed him.  He shut it and looked at the detective.  "I'm not fully normal."

"You're a mutant?" he joked with a grin.

"Well, her goof did give me wings."  Don gaped so he let them come out for a minute before he banished them again.  He sat down.  "Want some coffee, Detective Flack?"

"Can I unsee that?"

"I'm told I do a mean obliviate spell," he offered with a grin.  A demon showed up, bowing to him.  "Oh, no!  Not again.  You know very well you have to ask John!  Shoo!  This is a future coworker if I'm lucky and you're screwing it up for me."

"The hunter does not listen to reason," the demon said mildly.  "We know you would do so much better with someone to watch over you who could protect you better."

"Go.  Ask.  John," Xander said firmly.

"He does not speak with us."

"JOHN!" Xander yelled.

Flack got up to open that door.  "Hey, Mac, John?  There's a...thing here that wants to talk to you guys about the kid."  He got out of the way, noticing the shotgun with the thing on the end.  "Do you have to do that in front of us?"

"It's a demon."  He shot it, making it yelp and port off.  "Take it with you," he called quietly.  "He's not accepting presents from your kind."

The demon reappeared behind his guards.  "You are a pitiful human.  If we want that one, we will have him."

"No, you won't," Xander told him.  "Take it back.  Now."

The demon patted him.  "You're confused."  He and his guard disappeared, leaving the box there.

Xander looked at John, who glared.  "I didn't encourage that!  I told him to go away before he freaked out Don too!"

"Too late," Don offered.  "What the hell?"

"I used to hunt those sort of things.  Others who hunt those sort of things think I'm going evil because my friend goofed.  Those others also compelled John to watch over me and take me out if I started to go as evil as they think I am.  Since I'm not, he only reminds me to eat and sleep when I forget."

Mac looked at Don.  "I'd heard about this problem, Don.  That's why I pulled him out to ask him.  Aiden told me she knows too."

"So...."  He looked at John.  "You had ta shoot him why?"

"He's a demon.  He's endangering us and others.  Plus his future career because that's probably not a pet or food, Detective."  He put the shotgun against the couch and came over to look at it, letting Xander look over his arm.  "Pretty."

Xander shrugged.  "I have more in the safe in the library."  He grinned at them.  "We really should...."  John pinched him, making him yelp.  "But if they don't want to know...."

"Then they'll ask, Xander.  Doing it without their permission is wrong."

"Yes, John."  He looked at them.  "He's a very good dad to me.  My original one wouldn't have cared if I destroyed the world as long as he got to see the GLOW wrestling women in the skimpy outfits.  John takes very good care of me."

"Good," Don agreed.  He looked at Mac.  "There's no way a defense attorney won't note this."

"Being a ballistics tech he won't be called to the stand very often," Mac told him.

"It's this or medical school," Xander offered.  "Or I have to become a demonic concubine because that's all I had that were *good* jobs.  I don't think I can hack like that one or build robots like the other."  John pinched him again.  "Ow," he complained, rubbing the spot.  "What?"

"In one he was the son of an assassin who took out bad people," John told them.  Xander nodded.  "He has a few memories of him being a regular assassin and thief too.  Most of the lives were good."  He looked at him.  "You saw one where you were a doctor?"

"No, but I hear there's a major snarky doctor nearby in a few states that I could be the protégée of."

John shook his head.  "No."

"Fine."  He looked at them.  "Sorry, Detective.  I know most people don't want to think about these sort of things."

"It happens," he said calmly.  "Mac, his gun geek nature is going to cause problems or not?"

"Probably not but his exemplar is varied and too much to have in the city."

"That's why I linked the doorway to there?" Xander offered sheepishly.

"Good idea," Don agreed.  He looked at Mac.  "Are we talking sniper rifles?"

"Some small bits of artillery."

"Uh-huh.  And you're not throwing a fit?"  Xander found his laptop and got onto a server to pull up a video, letting him see it.  Don Flack just blinked.  "Necessary?" he asked finally.  Xander nodded and got into another one, letting him see that one.  He shuddered.  "Never mind."  He backed up.  "No more like that?"

"I'm hiding from that life," Xander pointed out.  "I can use the same skills to hunt bad guys.  I wanted the lab so I could be more protected and I love guns more than I do hunting things.  It's also safer."

Mac nodded.  "We had this talk already, Don.  Relax."  Don nodded and sat down to replay that video.  He watched it.  "Graduation?"  Xander nodded.  "Battle plans?"  Xander slowly raised a hand.  "Good job it looks like."  Xander relaxed.  "Do not bring the artillery into my city unless there's a very good reason and I had better know first," he ordered.

"What's your real name?" Flack asked.

"Xander Harris.  Then Xavier Elmore, then Javier Elton."

"That's fine.  I'll keep an ear out for those sort to come after you."  John handed over his copy of the list.  "Them?"

"Any of them might," he agreed.

"Good ta know."  He pushed the laptop away.  "What're we gonna do about this sicko's lawyer calling you?"

"It's well known that I have a threat that's making me hide my true identity," Xander told him.  "Everyone who's trained me knows and my academy app lists a death threat that's keeping me from being myself and putting myself in protection.  If he asks, I can dance around the issue based on my own safety.  I'm not sure if any judge would complain about that when I point out I had to change it to a secondary identity after these idiots took some of my teachers hostage to get me in Chicago."  Don shuddered.  "Would they?" he asked Mac.

"No.  You did all your training after that so it'd be in the clear as well.  That's noted in your personnel file and the DA would be warned about that as well, Javier."

"Thank you."  He looked at Don.  "I'm not going to let it get in the way of stopping some bad guy.  I won't.  If I have to be more honest, I can still do that without outing my past hunting skills."  That got a nod.  "I can BS with the best of them if I have to and I was raised by girls so I know how to answer questions without saying a thing.  I actually understand what a woman says when she says 'nothing'."  Don cracked a smile and nodded.  "Please don't hold this against me?"

"I can't do that since you didn't do it to yourself.  Was she beaten?"

"Turning her in got them onto him," John told him.  "But yes, she was punished.  She's tied herself to the area out there in a permanent manner as it's guardian."  He handed over the only picture in the house.  "His former friends have found him a few times.  The redhead goofed and led them to us in Chicago.  The blonde was the one they tried to capture the day he graduated in the airport."

Mac memorized the faces, letting Don have it.  "We'll keep you in the lab.  Getting you into the field means that you have more opportunity to be seen and to be called to testify."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "For now, how's the academy going?"

"Pretty good.  My instructor wanted me to bring up my PT and defensive driving score so I kicked ass on that test yesterday."  They smiled.  "We start on range work next week and he warned me that he's sticking me in the area that keeps knocking shots off-line."

"We have no idea what's doing it," Don admitted.  "It started back before my time."

"If I find it I can break it," Xander promised.

"The wing stuff?" Don asked.  "Does it come with other skills?"

"Wings?" Mac asked.  Xander manifested them.  John moaned, shaking his head, so he put them back.  "Pretty."

"My feathers itch and make me twitchy so I keep them gone all the time," Xander assured him.  "Now and then they come out when Sam yells at me but otherwise they stay gone.  Especially in the lab."

"Good."

"What else can you do?" Don asked.

"She goofed by making me see other versions of myself across the realms, Detective.  The demon from earlier is because somehow I managed to inherit the skills of the me that had a hormone condition that drew demons and humans to kidnap me as a concubine.  The wings come from another one.  In one I was a cursebreaker."  Don beamed and nodded. "Which is how I afforded things.  He was a book nerd; that's why I have the library."

"Good ta know."  He stood up.  "Okay.  We'll try to get him to take a deal."

"Go for it," Mac agreed.  "If you can please do.  If not, let me know."  Don nodded, going to do that.  "I saw the closet, kid.  It stays there."

"My exemplar otherwise?" he asked hopefully.

"Unless you need it, it stays there too."

"Yes, sir."

"Good boy."  Xander barked, making him shake his head but grin in spite of it.  "Fine.  I'll be calling you for your official interview during your rookie ride-along times."

"Uniform or real clothes?"

"Whatever's useful at the time," he ordered.  Xander nodded.  "Do not let that scene happen in my lab."

"I'm not."

"Good."  He left, going to get a beer and think.  The kid might drive him nuts but he had the skills and the mix of abilities to make a hell of a CSI.  If they kept him away from the watchers.

Xander looked at John, shrugging a bit.  "The vault?"

"We'll cash them out.  Get somewhere bigger and nearer to the center of the city so it'll make money if we have to move."

"Sure.  If you want to move stuff."  John swatted him.  "I'll be back at the academy."  He got up to get more coffee, helping him go clean guns in the armory.  He missed his guns.  John gave him a fond look but ordered pizza for them and brought it over when it got there.  "Can I have a pet?"

"No."

"Damn."

"Maybe some other time, kid.  It's hard to go running for safety with a dog or a cat."

"Sure.  I get that."  He pouted a bit but it was okay.

John shook his head.  Sometimes Xander just drove him nuts.

The Many Mystical Mes 5.

Xander looked at his mentor for his rookie six weeks of hell riding along, nodding politely.  "Sir."

"Kid, you need a haircut."

"I got one last week," he told him.

"It's still too long."

"I'm a lab tech."

"Why?" he demanded.

Xander grinned.  "I'm a ballistics lab tech."

He shuddered.  "Then you're the strange one in the class, right?"

"Maybe.  I think the serial killer was stranger."

"Maybe," he decided.  "Come on."  Xander followed him.  "You know you have to do six weeks on the street, right?  Following along, doing the paperwork, all that?"

"If I must do your paperwork, I will, because I probably type faster than you do," he said dryly, "but yes I know I've got six weeks of following you around like you're on hallowed ground."

The guy gave him a dirty look.  "What did you do before this?"

"No comment."

"Something bad?" he asked, stopping in the middle of the hall to look at him.

"No, just something that's now got a death threat on me.  The bosses all know."

"Why me?" he demanded, looking up.

"Because the Captain said my fun and naughty nature would lighten up your gloomy and bastard times," Xander said bluntly, giving him a look.  The guy laughed at that, shaking his head.  "So let's go catch some muggers or whatever.  I'll warn you I'm not the fastest jogger in the class."

"The girls beat you?" he taunted.

"I've had girls beat me at many things, but not that this time."  He got another odd look.  "One of my former friends was a major brain of the school."

"Oh."  He pointed at the car.  "You're driving."

"Sure.  Keys?"  He groaned and went in to get them.  Xander looked over the car, frowning at something.  "Hey, boss?  Why does the windshield smell like vodka?" he called after him.  He came back to sniff then checked something, walking inside with a growl.  He and the desk sergeant came out together.  They popped the hood to check the fluid reserve, finding it did have alcohol in it.  It was removed and they walked off. The officer he was riding with got keys to another one so they took that cruiser instead.  Xander drove them carefully onto the street and merged with traffic.  "Which way?"

"How familiar are you with the city?"

"I know which direction the boroughs are," he offered.  "I figure we have a map somewhere."

"We do.  And map systems," he said, inputting a command.  "That's the edge of our route."  Xander nodded, following the directions.  They moved into their patrol route, letting him give quiet orders.  Xander pulled over at one point.  "It's not time for a break, Elton."

"Some guy just walked into that deli with a fourteen-inch blade, boss.  I thought that was our thing," he said dryly, getting out and grabbing his nightstick.  The other one got out with a groan, following in there.  Xander made like he was getting a soda, getting a smile from the cashier.  He walked up behind the guy with the knife, making him give him a nervous look.  "It's my first day," he offered dryly.  "I need caffeine before I bite someone."

"First day rookie?" he taunted.  Xander nodded.  The kid pulled his knife.  Xander grabbed his wrist and put him onto the ground, making him yelp when his wrist was squeezed so he'd drop it.  "Hey!  That's not fair!"

"Street legal is under seven inches, just like your girlfriend said your dick was," he said dryly, cuffing him.  "Pulling it means brandishing a weapon.  Having it in your pocket was concealed carrying and intent to rob.  Unless he was here to show it off, miss?" he asked the cashier.

"Probably not.  I don't know him, Officer."

He grinned and handed over a dollar for his soda, getting a smile as he walked out with it.  His partner gave him a funny look.  "I need the caffeine.  It keeps me from bouncing."

"We do coffee, Elton.  Real cops do."

"I'm a lab geek.  There's times I do raspberry spritzers, non-alcoholic version of course."

"Never mind."  He put the guy into the backseat, making sure the kid had the knife.  Which he did and he was gulping his soda.  He finished it and tossed the can out properly before getting in.  "Not too long of a break," he said dryly.

"Breakfast.  I was worried I'd get some hard-assed racist who wanted to beat me for liking guns.  Like our range instructor was until I made him cry and stomp off that day," he mused, pulling back into traffic.  "Station?"

"Yes.  We don't drive around with them all day," he said impatiently.  "I remember the range instructor."

"He called me a fairy so I came in the next day with wings.  Then I started to shoot back at his insults."  He gave him a sweet grin at a traffic light.  Then he drove on.  "Anyway, I broke the machine that was firing on that one cubicle's bullets.  It had a motion sensor and acted like one of those automated pitching machines."

"Interesting.  Who put it there?"

"By the tag, the class of '88."

"Huh."  They pulled into the station, letting him get out.  "Take him to the booking desk, fill it out."

"On all three?"

"Yup.  We let the DA sort it out."  Xander nodded, taking the guy inside.  His partner looked up.  "Six weeks?  Must I really?" he asked God.  "He's strange!"  He went inside to make sure he was filling out the paperwork correctly.  They had changed the forms and he wasn't sure the academy was teaching the new one.

***

John looked over as Xander trudged in from his first day on the streets.  "That bad?"

"Two attempted robberies and my partner is too uptight.  I nearly offered to hire him a hooker if he'd relax."  He flopped down, putting his hat on the table and running his hands through his hair.  "Then we ran into the hookers and the guy trying to stab them."  John moaned.  "He was chasing one so we pulled up beside him and cut him off.  He was screaming about brutality and I didn't even touch him with the car.  My boss said he was an idiot.  The higher ups were nice when they watched the dashboard camera's tape.  They said it was an easy way to stop him but not fully by the book, yet effective so I wasn't in trouble.  It would've taken longer to park the car.  They wanted to know why we didn't arrest the hookers.  I told him I'd rather have them out there than the guy trying to stab them.  This time they were a gang of women in clubbing clothes on the street who were being assaulted.  Next time they'd be hookers.  My partner agreed with me.  Even if he did decide I'm strange."

"So, really bad and he's taking a mental vacation for the next six weeks like your range instructor and the PT instructor that came to fill in for the one that got arrested?"

"No.  Not that bad.  I hope.  I found alcohol in the car this morning before we left," he said with a smirk.  John shook his head, handing Xander a plate.  "Thank you, John.  You know, I could do an imp...."  John smacked him on the top of the head.  "Ow!  Be nicer!  He said I needed a haircut already."

"It's a bit sloppy but not too bad.  Not waist-length like that one you said you saw."  He went to get his own dinner, coming out to watch the kid eat.  "Did you get lunch?"

"He made me.  He said I'd pass out while driving him around our route if I didn't."

"Good."  He dug in, putting his feet up on the coffee table.  "Take the uniform off before you get stuff on it."  Xander went to do that, coming back in shorts and a tank top.  "Better.  Anything planned for tonight?"

"I hope not.  I'm exhausted.  It's been a while since I did a full ten hour day."

"It has been."  He got him seconds and sat down again, watching Xander nibble and slowly fall asleep right there.  He took the plate to eat the rest of the food and covered him, going back to his reading.  Xander woke a few hours later, flinching and looking around.  "It's a nightmare," he said quietly.  "Go to bed."

"Sure."  He yawned, going that way to sleep, making sure his alarm was on.  He fell down and went to sleep almost immediately.

John shook his head.  Some days Xander was a lot like his kid.  Maybe that's why he drove him insane.

***

Xander got the call for his interview and groaned.  "Detective, I can't.  I'm presently in the squad car in pursuit," he defended at his order.  "As soon as we catch this sucker who has a kid hanging out his back window bleeding I'll gladly show up, Detective."

His boss took the phone from him.  "Detective, his ride-along comes before his interview for the lab.  I'm his ride-along mentor and I said so."  He hung up.  "Once we catch this guy, you can go and I'll be nice enough to do the paperwork myself."

"Thanks."  Xander pointed.  "Cut him off.  He's going to turn.  He's actually using his signals, I'm impressed."

"Me too.  Obviously not native to this city."  He cut him off, and their backup came from the other direction to box him in.  They hopped out and Xander headed for the kid while he got the driver with the other guys.  "Elton, we have paramedics."

"I've taken those classes, boss."  He looked her over, sitting her on the trunk.  "Are you all right?"  She nodded.  "Were you the only one he had in the car?"  She shook her head.  "Okay, where are the others?  How many did he have?"  She held up both hands of ten fingers.  "Ten others?"  She nodded.  "All at once?"  She shook her head.  "Is there anyone with you right now?"  She nodded.  "Sarge, get me the keys so I can check the car.  She said there's another kid."  He got tossed them and handed the kid to Flack when he stomped over.  He opened the trunk and caught the foot coming for him.  "Hey, NYPD, don't kick me."  He grinned, helping him out.  "Shh, you're safe now."  He looked him over, sitting him on his squad's hood with the other girl.  "Any others in the car with you two?"  She nodded.  "Right now, not earlier."  She nodded again.  "Where?"  She pointed.  "Trunk?  Back seat?"  She nodded at that.  "Okay."  He went to look, finding the release latch was stuck.  "Crap.  It's stuck and I can hear banging.  Hold on, kid.  We're working to get you out.  I'm a police officer."  His partner came over and they got the back seat rocking and then out of its clamps.  He pulled open the latch and helped the kid out, handing it off.  "Should I strip the car to make sure there's no others?" he asked them.

Flack shrugged, looking at the girls.  "Any more of you guys in there right now?"  She shook her head.  "You sure?"

"Not hear anyone," she whispered.

"Okay.  Elton, check just in case.  Don't make a mess.  We'll have to tow it."

"Just the standard stuff," he promised, moving the spare tire.  "That's a flap there."  He opened it and groaned.  "Blue lips," he said quietly.  Flack turned to glare at him.  He pointed.  Flack looked then kicked the back of that car.  "Hey, boss, we'll need CSI."

"Call dispatch," he ordered.  He looked then nodded.  "I hate these cases."

"At least we know who did it."  He called dispatch from his radio, telling them about the three kids and the one dead one, plus that the car needed a thorough search by pulling it apart.  He hung up and came back to look at them.  "Paramedics are going to be at least another ten minutes.  Anyone got a first aid kit?  I can do bandaids."  One of the other guys got his out for him, letting Xander put on gloves so he could clean up the cuts on her face from the glass being broken next to her when she tried to get out.  "You were very brave," he told them, smiling a bit.

"Very, very brave.  You did the right thing."  They nodded.  "Once you get to the hospital, we'll call your parents or whoever to come pick you guys up.  All right?"  They nodded.  "Can you tell the nice detective in the purple suit what your names are?"  Don smiled and moved closer to help him.  The paramedics showed up.  "She was trying to get free and kicked the glass, has a lot of little cuts," he offered.  They nodded, taking over.  Another ambulance pulled up so he pointed at the car, getting a grimace but a nod as well.  "We have no idea if there's more," he told them.  "We need to finish searching the car when CSI gets here."

"They're en route," Don called over.  "Give us ten, guys."

"Of course, Detective."  They came back to help with the kids, getting them into the first ambulance.

Xander looked over as Detective Taylor showed up with Danny.  "Sir," he said in greeting, getting out of his way.  "My mentor and I pried up the back seat to free the youngest one in the ambulance.  Detective Flack said I could search the trunk for more survivors.  I stopped when I found the body," he offered quietly.  "She was trying to escape and kicked at the window until it broke, somehow.  She's cut all to hell from it.  The littlest one was in the flap under the back seat.  The other was loose in the trunk and tried to kick me when I opened it.  She said there were as many as ten kids in there today.  My mentor has him in one of the cars and they're guarding him away from the kids while he begs.  Though it was nice one of them taunted him over using his turn signals properly."

"Good work," he said.  "We'll do that interview when I get back."

"Yes, sir.  I'm sure I'll have paperwork and so will you.  Would you like me to help here or go with the arresting officers?"

"Help here," Danny ordered.  Xander nodded, getting some gloves to help.  The ambulance left with the living kids.  The dead one got removed once they had things arranged to do so.  The tow truck got there and Xander dismantled the trunk, all due to John's teachings, onto the truck to find any others.  He found two more bodies and one in the undercarriage in a compartment down there.  Mac looked pissed but then again so was he.  The tow truck took the car's skeleton back to the garage while Xander finished up his on-site report.

Mac walked over.  "Good work."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get him stopped sooner."

"You can't beat yourself up about that," he said, looking at him.  "Or else you end up eaten by the job, Elton."

"Yes, sir."  He put his gloves into the bag Danny was holding out for him.  "Thank you."  He looked at him.  "Let me do my paperwork and I'll be there in about two hours?"

"Your mentor did the arrest report and the guy's already begging the DA for mercy when he heard we found a body," Flack told him.  Xander nodded at that.  "Go log out for the day."  The kid caught a ride back with the officers guarding them.  "He's good and he's got the feelings for the work."

"If he stays in the lab he won't have to be eaten by it," Danny offered.

"Which is what he wants and it's safer anyway," Mac agreed.  "Danny, can you work with him?"

"Hell yes," he snorted.  "He's accurate, good, and quips to relieve tension.  He's my rookie if we have ta."

"Good."  He went back to the lab, letting them do the last little details and head back to the garage to finish dissecting the car.  Xander was in his office in an hour.  "Your boss complain?"

"That I was cutting my shift short, that I stepped in as a CSI instead of as a rookie officer, that I took control when I shouldn't have, that I rendered first aid when I shouldn't have," he said blandly.  "So I kindly told him I did have enough training to hold first aid as a first responder until an ambulance got there.  They were kids and I was using it to get information from them about any others that might be in the car, and pointed out that's how we found the other two live ones.  He and my mentor agreed I shouldn't have been working as a CSI there, and I agreed but I also said I had offered since I was already involved in stripping the car to find more kids.  He doesn't like me and didn't before this," he finished.  "My first day I smelled alcohol on the squad car."

"I've seen that happen.  Two more weeks," he reminded him.

Xander grinned.  "I needed that ray of hope.  I don't think I could do regular officer stuff, Detective."  He pointed and got a nod so he sat down.  "Just two weeks?"

"Just two more weeks.  If I could I'd get you free sooner since we've got a small backlog in ballistics."

"Let me eat and I'll help tonight," he offered.  "You can call it quality control checking my work."  Mac laughed but nodded.  "Thank you.  Can I change?  This shirt isn't great for range of motion."

"Go ahead.  Do you have anything here?"

"In the car but it's a smartass t-shirt I planned on wearing my last day there.  My supervising officer saw it and laughed his butt off when I bought it."  He grinned sweetly.

"Change.  Locker rooms are downstairs on the right."  Xander got up and went to get his stuff from the car, coming back with the pile of clothes, his glasses, and a lab coat.  Mac went down to wait on him, walking him to the lab.  "Adam, this is Javier Elton, our new ballistics tech in two weeks when he's out of his ride-along phase.  He's agreed to clear the backlog."

"More power to you not making shift tomorrow, man, but thank you."

Xander grinned.  "Not an issue, Adam."  He patted him on the arm before finding gloves to put on.  "Where's my lab, Detective?"  He pointed and Xander went that way, putting on the gloves as he walked.

"What's with his hair?" Adam asked.

"I don't know.  He had a haircut a week ago by what he said.  I think for some reason it's growing very quickly on him."  He went to check to make sure he knew where everything was.  The guy was searching the cabinets.  "Backlog is the black cabinet.  Done and in the system is the white. The backlog extends into the drop bin."  Xander nodded, sorting out samples by date and getting to work on the oldest once he had that done.  Mac watched a few but he was good.  His report was coming out nicely compact and he was looking okay so he left him alone for an hour.  He glanced in on his way through, smiling when he was petting one and telling it it'd be okay, it could be reincarnated.  Another two hours and he went in to find a stack of reports waiting.  "Good job."

"I'm only a twelfth done but thank you.  I put the name of the detective on the top of each sheet but I don't know who's who totally yet."

"I can hand them out, Javier."  He went to do that, making a few techs happy, and Danny growl.  "I'm letting him clear the backlog."

"It's good we don't have to wait two more weeks for that," he agreed dryly.  "But it excluded the suspect who admitted it."

"Ask him how he got the gun?"

"It's his roommate's if the registration is right."  He went to talk to Xander.  "We sure?"  Xander pointed at the computer next to him since he was using the scope.  He ran the case number and came up with the bullet that was input.  "Crap.  This isn't mine, kid."

Xander looked over at him.  Then he pointed at the envelopes.  "I do one at a time, Detective Messer.  I take the case number directly from the envelope.  Feel free to open it and look if you want."  He did that, looking at the bullet.  "Since I didn't have a gun all I could do was run it."

He looked at the envelope.  "This says it's from her leg."

"I'm guessing the ME pulled it then but that's what I got so that's what I ran.  If there's another associated with that case, I'll run them together.  I didn't find any with that case or it'd be noted in the report.  I sorted by date and grouped the cases together so I could include everything in one report."

"I don't doubt you but this means there's a missing sample."

Xander pointed at the cabinet.  "Maybe it was misfiled.  Detective Taylor said it was the black cabinet for new samples and the overflow bin, the white for ones that were done."

"Usually."  He went to look, not finding it in there.  He checked around the floor then went to check the other labs, bringing it back.  "It ended up in fingerprints somehow."

"Let me get this case done and I'll do that one.  Do you want a separate report or to amend the first?"

"Amend it and compare the two."

"Of course," he said, giving him an odd look.  "Sarcasm isn't the only full service I offer."  Danny walked off cackling at that.  He got back to work, finishing that case and going back to the one that had been missing.  He called John from the room's phone.  "It's me.  Detective Taylor said I could clear up the backlog.  No, I had a shitty day, John.  We had kids."  He nodded.  "Thanks.  No, don't worry about me but make sure I make it to work tomorrow?"  He grinned.  "Thanks."  He hung up and got back to work, comparing the two samples and then running it through the system when it didn't match.  Once he had the report done he walked it off to find Danny, handing it over.  "Your second was a forty-five, the first was a thirty-eight.  The forty-five isn't in the system.  The thirty-eight's bullet was older.  I looked up the autopsy and it said it came from a partially healed, probably two or three week old, wound.  The forty-five was a bit squished and it looked like it may have had a silencer but I can't be sure without having the gun to compare it to.  There are overlaying marks of a ricochet inside her body and two marks that do look like silencer striations, but again, need the gun to prove it.  Get it and I'll check."  He walked off.

"No silver bullet?" Danny called.

"In the trunk of the car," he called back.  "They won't let me carry them on duty," he quipped back, waving over his shoulder when Danny giggled at that.

Adam shook his head.  "I think I'm going to like that guy."

Danny smirked.  "He said sarcasm's not the only full service he offers."

"Good.  It's good when we get good techs.  Where did he train?"

"Louisiana."

"Interesting.  I heard about that serial at the academy."  Danny pointed.  "The one who told Aiden the guys' dorm was whacking off to her?"

"Yup."  He walked off to talk to the detective about the bullet anomaly.  He wanted that second gun and the first one's reason.

Adam shook his head, going to check on the new guy.  "You doing okay so far?  I know my first week I worked like a dog until I got into a comfortable rhythm."

"I worked before school," he said, looking over with a grin.  "And I temped down there for someone on maternity leave.  But thanks for checking, Adam.   Now and then I do get lost in thought and forget to eat and sleep."

"I can watch for that."  He came in to look.  "Man, Chad would be pissed if he could see this.  He broke his leg."

"I broke my arm once.  I hope he'll be okay soon."  He grinned.  "I'll be fine.  When you go on break or lunch, come get me so I can have a soda break?"

"Sure," he agreed, smiling at that.  He went back to his own lab.  The new guy seemed a bit cool.  Possibly nice and decent.  He saw a pissed detective and winced.  "That poor guy."  The detective shouted and the tech slammed the door in his face after telling him to have manners.  "Yeah, that's one strong guy," he decided, watching the detective huff off to tell Mac.  Mac came to talk to him, looking at the samples himself.  He verified the matches and told the detective that.  Which made him huff off to talk to someone else.  Mac said something more quietly but the guy just grinned and quipped back, making Mac walk off shaking his head.  The glass walls in the lab did give you a lot of views to good gossip. This new guy would definitely hold his own.

***

Xander slid into the car the next morning.  "Sorry, I spent all night clearing up my lab's backlog."

"Problems?"

"The other shift's tech broke his leg."

"Ow.  Did you sleep?"

"I've went longer than this," he said dryly.  "And without eating too."

"Were you tortured?"

"Not since my former friends made me shop with them as the approval committee for shoes, bras, and bikinis," he said with a clueless look.   His mentor groaned.  "Truth.  Now and then I forget to sleep and eat.  I'm good.  I had coffee.  It's all fine until lunch and then I will need to eat.  Usual patrol route today, boss?"

"Yup, same as always.  That's the beauty of being in uniform.  You get to know your neighborhoods and when something's out of whack."

Xander pointed.  "Like the generator repair guy walking around the building toward the a/c unit?" he asked.  They got out to stop him to check what he was doing and arrest him when they found explosives on him.  Xander walked him inside by his collar once he was in cuffs, putting the explosives down in front of the booking sergeant.  "Trying to do the a/c unit here.  We're going on patrol now."  He walked off, heading back to the car.

"We don't allow superheros here," he called after him.

"I'm not one, I know I'm not bulletproof.  Today.  My vest is at home," Xander called back.  His mentor laughed.  "I know I can't fly.  I tried once."  He got into the car to drive, letting his mentor get in the other side so they could head off.

"Wrong street," he complained.

"Utility truck ahead of us, boss, working on the lines.  I can cut back in a block."  He did that when he could, going on with their patrol route.

***

John walked into the lab and up to the receptionist.  "Is Elton here?"

"Elton?"

"The new ballistics tech.  I'm his uncle and he hasn't made it home in three days.  Which means he hasn't slept in three days and probably hasn't eaten either."

"Let me call the detective in charge and see, sir."  She did that.  "Detective Taylor, CSI Elton's uncle is here wondering if he hasn't slept or eaten in three days since he hasn't made it home?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Thank you."  She hung up.  "He'll walk him down right now.  He said he didn't realize it had been that long, sir.  If you want to wait, there's some nice benches over there."  She pointed.

"Thank you, ma'am."  He went to sit down.

***

Mac walked into the lab.  Xander was bent over a microscope.  "Hang it up for the night, Elton."

"Can't.  Need to get this done," he said absently.  "I'll go on break in a few, Mac."

"You haven't been home in three days.  Someone's here to pick you up."

He frowned, looking at him.  "John's here?"

"Yes.  He said you haven't been home in three days."

"I have tomorrow off."

"Good!  Go sleep!"  He looked then took the samples to seal up on him, printing the reports out for him that were ready.  "Go home.  Now."

"But...  I need to get those done!"

"You can do them the night you get back.  One day isn't going to matter."  He finished cleaning up the small sample mess and then put it up for him, walking him out.  He locked the lab's door before walking him down to the elevator and onto it.  All the way down to the lobby, handing him to John.  "I'll make sure he has tomorrow off.  He says he does."  He walked off shaking his head.

John looked at him.  "It's been three days."

"Oops?  It needed to be done."

"Yay.  You can do it when you wake up and eat again."  He walked him out to the truck and put him inside, taking him back to the apartment to make him eat and sleep.  Xander yawned on the way, falling asleep against the door.  It meant he had to carry Xander up to his bed but he had done the same for Dean and Sammy when they had been unconscious.  He could do it this time but he would be getting Xander some sort of reminder service.

***

Mac walked into the lab to figure out if Xander had messed up anything, finding it all neat, tidy, and respectably done.  He made sure he had all the reports printed and they were saved down before he shut down the system and relocked it, going to hand out more reports.

"I didn't know delivery boy was one of your job titles," Stella teased.  "He not in tonight?"

"He's dead on his feet.  Hasn't been home in three days.  Hasn't eaten in three days.  His uncle came to check on him and take him home.  I told him to come back the day after tomorrow since he has it off.  There's only about ten samples backlogged now."

"That's good.  He seemed nice when he grunted and pointed for me the other night."

"He's a huge goofball," Aiden said as she walked in.  Mac handed her the reports he had left.  "Aww, gee, thanks.  Did our new gun nut fix all the backlog?"

"All but ten samples.  I closed up one on him and sent him home when his uncle showed up to see why he hasn't eaten or slept in three days."

"Because he needs a cape," Aiden told him.  She looked in her report.  "Hmm, twinkies did it.  He can reproof that one."  Mac took it back, laughing at that sentence.  "Good.  At least we won't backlog for long with him around.  Even if we do have to remind him to take breaks and eat."

Adam walked in.  "I thought I saw Javier here."

"He hasn't eaten or slept in three days, Adam.  His uncle came to repossess him."

"I guess that's fine.  Is he coming in tomorrow too?"

"It's his day off."  Adam nodded at that.  "Keep an eye on the lab for him.  He's got about ten left of the backlog."

"He's amazing.  I don't work that fast."  He went to check it then go back to his own.

Mac went to call the boy's supervisor.  "It's Taylor.  I'm making sure Javier Elton has tomorrow off.  Because I've been abusing him after his shift to clear our backlog in his future lab," he admitted.  "He hasn't slept or eaten in three days."  He rolled his eyes at the complaining.  "I get him in another week anyway and he said tomorrow is his day off.  If not, give him tomorrow off please.  That's fine.  Thank you.  No, he's at home with his uncle."  He hung up.  "Pushy," he muttered.  "I'll warn him the guy will fuss.  He probably does it to all speciality officers."  He got into his own reports, finding one that had a sandwich being used as a silencer, after checking to make sure that wasn't a typo.  Because you never knew with some New Yorkers.

***

Xander looked at his boss the next day he was on, yawning a bit.  "Sorry, just got up, sir."

"What makes you think you have the right to pull doubles already?"

"They were critically backed up and it's my job in another week.  They needed me to sub.  I've pulled longer hours studying for finals but my uncle got worried and nagged.  Thankfully we're out of backlog so I should only have to check in, maybe do an hour or so, then head home to be nagged to sleep and eat."

"I don't like you."

Xander shrugged.  "Working isn't a popularity contest, sir.  I'm good at my job and I do it correctly.  Yesterday was my assigned day off by the schedule I got given.  I did what I needed to do."

"Your shift was changed around," he sneered.

"Then someone probably should've told me that.  Since no one did, it's not my fault I didn't know.  I'm many things but not telepathic."  His boss sneered greater.  "Sir, I'm supposed to be with my supervising officer by now.  Can I go do our patrol route so he doesn't nag too?  I can tell him you had our shifts changed and let him tell me where I'm supposed to hear that from."

"You're a smartass and I do not like that.  I can have you fired."

"You go right ahead.  I'll go be a credit to Chicago's or Miami's labs.  After all, I graduated nearly top in the country by my competency test."  He flinched at that. "Since I had the ATF labs and a few others coming for me to see if I wanted to work for them, I don't think I'll have that much of a problem and even if I do, I can go make guns for Winchester or something, sir.  It'd make me just as happy and less stressed.  Now, can I go do my job and let you huff at Detective Taylor?  I have no desire to play politics or get into an inter-office pissing match.  I don't care that you don't like that I'm a CSI.  I understand why I have to do the ride-along but I've got a week left."

"I can suspend you."

"And then I'll spend the next week in the lab," he said dryly.  "I can go without pay for a bit longer."  He grinned sweetly.  His boss shuddered.  "Anything else?"

"Go away."

"Thank you, sir."  He saluted and walked out shaking his head at his supervising officer.  "Sorry, boss.  He didn't like that Taylor made me take my day off to nap since I'd been doing our backlog in the lab."

"You okay?"

"He huffed and puffed and still didn't blow well enough to get me off," he said quietly, cracking him up.  "Threatened to suspend me because he said our shift off was changed?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  You're off on my days off.  That way no one else has to deal with you as a rookie."  He took the keys and headed out to his car, letting the kid check it over for him.  "Problems?"

"Alcohol on the windshield again."

He sighed, going to get the desk sergeant to take the wiper fluid container and the alcohol in it with him.

Xander looked at it and sniffed.  "He didn't empty it very well.  He's gotta be sick as hell for that."  The desk sergeant laughed all the way inside.  Xander got in to drive.  "Usual route or did we get new and exciting thugs to look at today?"

"Usual route.  Anything else happen?"

"I told him if he suspended me I'd go spend the week in the lab and I could do without pay for a bit.  I told him I wasn't going to play politics or get in between him and Taylor in some inter-departmental pissing match."  He grinned sweetly.  "I have one more week.  I pointed that out."

"Yes you do.  Then you can be a strange gun geek all you want."

"Yes I can be," he agreed happily.  They pulled into traffic, heading for their route.  The usual attempted hold up at the convenience store, the same guy as his first day, and a few other routine things before lunch and then he got ambushed.  He looked at the Internal Affair's guy waiting on him when he came out of the break room with his soda.  "Let me guess, he complained that he changed my shift without telling me and then he wants to suspend me for doing my actual job?" he guessed.

"You're a smartass and it won't help you any, rookie.  You can go a week without pay?"  Xander nodded.  "How?"

"I've got some saved."

"You're just out of college."

"I went on my own dime."  The guy growled.  He shrugged.  "I was working construction before that threat came at me.  I have the remains of my retirement fund."

"I think you used those lab classes to make illegal things."

"No.  I managed to arrange to have a teacher leave the school when I found him making drugs in the chem lab.  I don't like drugs.  Sorry, wrong person."

"I bet.  You're being tested."

"Go for it.  Hand me the cup and I'll do it here."  The internal affair's officer gaped at him. "I have nothing to hide.  You want hair or urine for that test?"

"Urine for now."  Xander held out a hand.  "Bathroom.  That's a disgrace to the uniform."

"No, people who play politics to get a higher badge are a disgrace to the uniform."  The officers around them stared.  "It's not my fault he didn't like me doing my actual job.  I told him I don't play politics and he made up the shift change story because my supervising officer said he didn't know either.  You want to pop me for a test, let's go."  He waved a hand.  "Thankfully I just ate lunch."

"Nothing to declare?"

"I haven't anything with poppy seeds in weeks.  I don't take drugs or OTC medicines.  Unless you're going to count my caffeine habit?  Nope."  He headed for the bathroom.  "I'll be back in a few, Bill."

"I've got paperwork I can do, kid."  He shook his head.  "Calm down."

Xander shot him a grin.  "I am calm."  He walked into the bathroom and up to a urinal, taking the cup to pee into then handing it back properly.  "Anything else you wanted to know?" he asked, finishing his peeing then cleaning up and washing his hands before doing up his belt.  He turned to look at him.  "Because I'll answer if you actually *ask* me."

"Death threat?"

"One of my former friends goofed and got me bad notice from a group in Britain who think I'm going to be evil and destroy them and then the world.  So they've got a hunt order out on me.  Taylor already knows.  He asked me during my cadet training.  We gave him a list of all the ones who're known to be in the city and where they hang and work at.  Just in case it comes up on a case so I can't be accused of tampering to get them off my ass.  You need to know more about that, go ask Taylor."

"Why were you pulling doubles?"

"The other shift's ballistic tech broke his leg.  We had a backlog from almost a week.  I offered to sub in for it since I'm starting next week over there.  So I basically did doubles and my uncle complained that I wasn't sleeping.  Taylor reminded my boss I had yesterday off so I could rest and eat.  That's what got him in the pissy mood.  And I still don't play politics.  If that guy wants to piss at Taylor, I'll stand there with popcorn while Taylor turns him into a gooey spot."  He walked around him.  "I'm going back on shift now."

"Fine."  He took it to their lab to test it.  Absolutely clean.  He frowned.  Then he went to talk to Taylor.

***

Mac found Xander when he came in to check in that night.  "Already?"

"The piss test thing?  Yeah, the supervisor over there decided to claim he had switched my shift off."  He gave him a look.  "I told him I don't play politics and offered to do the test there in front of the main desk.  I also told him to bite me, basically, and that I'm not playing politics.  That it's a disgrace to the badge."  That got a nod and a smile.  "When asked about the death threat stuff, I told him you already knew and to come ask you any pertinent questions."

"He did and I told him what he needed to know.  It's not wise to make them your enemy."

"He's not.  I could care less what he thinks.  Really."  Mac nodded, letting him sign in.  "Is there a lot for me to do tonight?"

"Two new samples today and the ten you had left.  Chad should be back tomorrow."

"Not like I mind, Mac.  I've went longer without sleep before."  He grinned.

"We'll make sure you make it home tonight."  He walked up with him, going to let him change.  "Anything else said?"

"The supervisor said I didn't have the right to pull doubles.  I told him I could go a week without pay if he tried to suspend me when he threatened to.  That's something they wanted to know too.  I told him how I kindly drove off a teacher who was making drugs."  He grinned sweetly.  "He didn't ask how."

"I looked him up.  It was an interesting method."

"It works well."

"It does."  He walked him up to his lab, finding someone in there.  "Adam, he can do it."

"I needed to run a sample ASAP for SWAT," he admitted.  Xander shrugged, moving around him to check things.  "Are you awake again?"

"Mostly.  Our route was really quiet today and I didn't drive this afternoon."  He stifled a yawn.  "I don't have that much to do.  Mac, you said two samples?"  Mac nodded.  He held it up.  "The only one I see dated today is this one."  He looked, finding it had migrated to another lab.  "Is that intentional?"

"Sometimes they can run them on other systems while they're working in chem," Adam offered.

Xander shrugged.  "Why make me bored and have to think bad thoughts that would make some people cackle and others blush?"

Adam burst out laughing.  "That's good to know."

"I promised Aiden that anyone doing rookie hazing on me would end up begging for mercy in the halls after they pissed themselves but otherwise I'm a nice, if a bit warped, guy."  He looked at the samples' images.  "Close match.  Eighty-five percent.  Though different brands and the one on the right is a Ruger.  The other is Smith and Wesson."

"Wow."

Xander grinned.  "I'm very good with guns."

"Thanks, man."  He wrote his own report and resealed the samples, taking them to the guy who was pacing in his lab.  "Our new ballistics tech is in tonight to clear our backlog.  That's what he said and I agree, it's not a perfect match.  Sorry."

He looked at the files.  "How would he know?"

"He knew on sight.  He's a gun geek though."

Mac leaned in.  "Elton has a personal exemplar."

"Oh, he's one of those.  Anything dangerous we should confiscate?"

"I already checked.  It's not in the city."

"Even better.  He sure?"  Mac nodded.  "Can I talk to him?"

"Up the hall to the right," Adam said.  "I don't mind.  It's his field."

"I wanted to know if he could match them in the system," he offered, going to do that.  "CSI Elton, can you run them through the system for me?"

"I can try but I've got to work on the backlog.  Need it for an emergency?"

"One of my guys shot someone and we're trying to figure out which one.  It should be listed under his name."

Xander nodded.  "I can do that."  He took the samples back to put on his backup system to run them there, then got to work on his present samples.  "You can sit at my desk to watch the computer work.  I'm sure you've done plenty of standing all day."  That got a smile and Xander checked it to make sure it was running.  He got back to work on his other ones.  It beeped.  "That's a no joy beep."  He came over.  "It's not from a registered weapon in the five surrounding states."  He looked at him, seeing the horrified look.  "So let's move farther out."  He unchecked that button and reran it through a few more databases.  This time it came up.  "Hmm.  Detroit."  He printed that file and handed it over, then checked the other sample while he wrote a short report on that.  That one came up sooner and he printed and did a report on that too, handing them and the resealed samples over.  "There you go.  If you need more help, let me know.  I can test fire and test weapons too."

"I will.  Thanks, kid."

"Not a problem."  He let him out of the lab and went back to work, making himself happy.

Mac came in an hour later, getting handed a few reports.  "Good job."

"Thank you.  They come back to bother you some more?"

"Not yet."  He looked at his t-shirt of the moment, smirking at the smartass thing.  "Javier."

He grinned.  "Not like I'm officially on shift, Mac.  Or should I stick with Detective Taylor?"

"Mac's fine."  He walked off shaking his head.

"I saw his t-shirt," Adam agreed dryly.

"He claims he's not officially on shift yet."  Adam smirked at that.  "He does have a lot of smart-ass t-shirts."

"We'll tell you if they get too bad, Mac.  You know that."  He looked around.  "Did it not occur to the guy to have us test-fire the weapons for a sample instead of testing the two bullets he found in the guy's leg against each other?  I just realized what he did."

"Apparently not."  He shrugged. "If he has to he'll bring those to us too."  He went to hand out other reports.  Stella grimaced.  "He starts officially in a week.  He can deliver his own then.  We're nearly out of backlog."

"Goodie."  She smirked.  "I'll like that.  At least he works quickly and doesn't slack too much."

"Soda breaks are about it so far.  That and t-shirts that make you moan."

"That bad?"

"Today's was. _I'll meet you in the lake of fire with my asbestos duckie_ isn't what I wanted to see tonight."

She considered it.  "Well...."  She shook her head quickly.  "I'm not sure if that's a good idea or not."

Xander walked in with a new report. "I have worse."  He grinned.  "Who didn't put a detective or CSI's name on a sample?" he asked, holding it up for Mac to look at.

"That's...  that one was found off to the side of a scene and had no reason for it.  We weren't sure of the cause."

"It had blood, which I swabbed and sent to DNA," he admitted, handing over a report.  "The gun has a history.  Perfect match to a bodega robbery last week."  He handed over the sample too.  "The back end of the bullet is shaped funny so I'm guessing it either got pried out with pliers or something blunt-nosed like that. The bullet's a bit soft but still has good striations.  Get me the gun and I can verify and check how they removed it if I have to."  He walked off again.

"He's good," she decided.  She looked over the report.  "Huh.  I need to talk to robbery."  She went to do that.

Mac smiled.  Javier Elton was a breath of fresh air around the lab.  He saw his tech's ride-along supervisor stomping up the halls and went to stop him.  "What happened?"

"I pointed out that rookies don't get to pull doubles usually and definitely don't get to back up Vice when they're going on a raid.  It's against policy.  He said tough."

Xander leaned out of his lab.  "I'm in the middle of a sample.  Can I have ten?"  He shook his head.  "Damn.  Let me reseal it."  He moved in to do that and came out with his jacket and field case.  "Vice?  Guns or drugs?"

"Guns probably."

"I'm your boy then."  He grinned.  "I'd have to get them anyway.  Might as well go tag and gather in the field.  Mac?"

"That's fine.  I'll have one with you."  He went to get his own kit and followed since everyone else was already out on something.

***

Xander got out of the car with his case, putting it into the back of the Vice van, nodding at the curious looking cops.  "CSI Elton, ballistics and rookie.  My ride-along boss's boss hates my ass for being a tech."  That got a nod.  "I'd have to get the guns anyway so we're cool there."  He put on his vest over his t-shirt and his badge on properly, checking his gun and spare clips.  He got some seriously funny looks for that.  "Yes, I've been in shoot-outs before.  I temped during my training and did my field work internship, guys.  I'm cool.  I'll take the middle or last, wherever you want me."

"Right before my rear guard," the senior officer ordered.  Xander nodded at that, moving closer to him. "How many raids have you done?"

"Two."

"Including this one?"

"No.  One was a drug house.  One was a weapons dealer.  I went in on both as a field CSI."

"Fine."  He looked at his rear guy, who nodded he'd watch for him.  Then he went on to go over the plan for them.  Mac walked up with his vest on.  "We get two?"

"He's still young."  He pointed.  "I'll be here."

"Good for you, Taylor.  Go with your rookie CSI.  He said he's been on two before.  Right before my rear guy."

"That's acceptable."  He moved over, looking at Xander, who shrugged a bit.  They moved in and he watched how Xander handled it.  It was clear the sneaking was fine but the running squatted down to avoid detection had only been trained into him.  The boy entered silently and moved to cover things.  He pointed at the gun stash, getting a nod.  They moved to protect that and the others moved on at the rear guy's nod.  Two of the bad guys ran up on them. "Freeze, NYPD!" he ordered.  One kept coming.  Xander kicked him in the stomach and he went down moaning.  The other guy froze and dropped his gun.  He got them both cuffed while Xander guarded him.  Someone else came running and he saw the hesitation.

"Freeze, NYPD!" Xander ordered after his momentary hesitation.  It was a kid.  "Sit, now.  Hands on your head."  The kid tried to move so Xander blocked him and put him down onto the floor.  "Hands on top of your head," he said slowly and clearly, putting them there.  "Do not move."  The kid nodded.  He looked at Mac, who nodded he had done the right thing.  He guarded the kid and the others finished clearing the house.  The Vice guys came back.  "The kid came running like he was trying to escape, guys.  I didn't put him under arrest because I wasn't sure if he was or not."

"That's reasonable," the head guy agreed.  "We got his mother upstairs."  He pulled the kid up and took him out to the car.  Then he came back to get the other two.  "Why's he groaning?"

"I kicked him when he kept coming so I wouldn't have to see IAB," Xander said.  "Once in the lower stomach when he kept rushing."

"Is that procedure?" he asked Mac.

"It's technically an option since he would have had to put his gun up if he had used his hands."  That got a nod.  "I'd rather not have him have a shooting review already."

"Good point."  He pulled the guys up and out.  "Nice enough work, kid."

"Thank you.  Are we clear?  Can we start processing the guns?"

"Go for it.  We'll wait here in case there's something like drugs."  Xander nodded, jogging out to get his case and coming back in.

Mac leaned closer once they were alone.  "Do not kick them again.  Use a foot sweep, knock them down.  Do not get a brutality complaint."

"I got one from the guy that ran into the car."

"I saw.  It made Danny laugh."  He gave him a look, getting a nod.  "Thank you."

"Yes, sir."

"Better."  He got to work with him. When they found the drugs they called the vice guys back in to handle those once they were sealed properly for evidence.  Xander was pulling fingerprints and it was good.  A very long night but good.  He called his uncle personally to say that he'd be napping on the couch at the lab that night.

***

Xander walked into his lab the next night, finding someone on crutches in there complaining.  "Vice sting last night," he said.  The guy looked at him.  "Hi, Javier Elton."

"Hey.  Chad."  He shook his hand.  "You tagged them with Mac?"

"My ride-along boss's boss doesn't like me and called us out to back them up as patrol officers last night.  Mac let me go as a field tech."

"Ah.  He doesn't like techs?"

"Apparently not and yelled at me for being up all night again until my ride-along supervisor shouted at him to quit being an ass and stomped off saying we were taking the day off."  He grinned.  Chad laughed.  "I got a few done last night."

"I saw that.  Not bad.  Or on the backlog."

"Thank you."  He settled in to look over the other samples they had gotten that day.  "If you want, you can have another night off."

"As long as I can sit I'm fine.  Why don't you go home?"

"I'm good.  I get to come back full time on Saturday."

"Four more days," he said with a grin.

"Thankfully."  Mac stomped in.  "Did he yell at you?  Bill yelled at him for a good ten minutes before stomping off."

"He tried.  He's in trouble for sending a rookie into that.  I told the Chief of Detectives I sent you in as a field CSI since it was your minor.  He agreed that was fine and you still can't pull doubles now that it's not a critical issue."

"Fine, I can go nap at home."

"Good.  I'll see you Saturday and sooner if I have to."  Xander nodded, patting Chad on the back before moving around him.  "Try to fit into the dress code, Javier.  Plain, no logo, no saying t-shirts."  His shirt of the day wasn't too bad: Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.  "Not always.  Sometimes it just makes sense, Javier."

"Yes, Mac, but I'm not that sort of sensical making guy."  Mac walked off shaking his head.  He grinned at Chad.  "I'll see you Saturday I guess."  He grabbed his close-work glasses and headed out to go home.  He walked in and John gave the clock then him a pointed stare.  "No more backlog except all the guns we did last night.  I can't work in the lab until Saturday unless it's critical."  He shrugged and closed the door, going to snoop for food.

"When did you eat?  And your t-shirt is wrong.  It's not suspicious.  It's a good idea."

"Not always," he quipped.  "Sometimes it means you're bored."  He came out with a banana, sitting down across from him to eat it.  "Anything good going on?  I managed to send Bobby and Sam their weekly emails during my lunch.  It came with a lot of complaining about the guy over my ride-along supe."  He ate another bite.

"Not yet.  A bit of research for Bobby but otherwise the usual is going on."  He looked at him.  "Did we start to have bad thoughts earlier?"

"Only of the freaking out people with t-shirts variety."

"Uh-huh."

"Have that urge to spank me again?"

"Yes."

"Then it was probably the last time the boss there tried to yell at me.  Because I *really* wanted a sword to see if beheading worked on his sort of demon."

"You can't do that."

"I know.  Which is why I didn't."

"Fine."  He looked at him.  "Some nosy cop showed up earlier about how you afforded school."

"I told them it was from my former retirement fund."  He shrugged.  "What did you tell them?"

"Ex-lover's money that you got in palimony."

"Ah.  That too."  He smirked and John shook his head but he was smiling.  "Should I try to cook dinner?"

"Go ahead."  Xander went to do that for them.  It was nice.  Almost homey.  They still needed to move closer to the lab but that was all right.  The lab was too close to a few of the watchers in the city.  "Mac say anything about you moving yet?"

"Nope.  He wasn't fully fond of the t-shirts though."

"I didn't think he would be."  Someone knocked so he sighed and looked at it.  "Who is it?" he yelled.

"Flack and some nosy asshole."

Xander came to open the door.  "Hey, Detective.  Asshole."  He let them inside and went back to cooking.  "What's up?"

"The Vice case last night led back to one of mine by a fingerprint too you took," Flack admitted.

"Was he arrested?" John asked.

"Nope.  I'm still looking for him.  I need to know what the fingerprint was found on."  Xander came over to look at the picture.  He glanced at the guy, getting an eye roll.  That made him relax.  "Any idea?"

"Near the storage closet.  They said they had more than that when I showed them the inventory.  I pointed out we had torn the house apart, they said someone robbed them.  Hold on."  He went to check his notes.  "Here we go.  They said they're missing at least this much.  Mac agreed if they cooperated and told us what they were missing we'd tell the DA they cooperated and hadn't tried to hurt us so they might go easier on them.  Not real bright guys but it helped."  He handed over the list.

Flack looked then pointed.  "I had a homicide yesterday with one of those."

"So maybe it's one he stole.  Mac's in the lab.  Chad's back tonight so he's doing all those guns."  That got a nod.  "He can put a note in the system that it was believed stolen from these guys.  That way if and when we find it we'll know."

"That'll work.  Can I copy that list?"

"Sure."  John handed him some paper and a pen.  "Thank you.  Pasta and stuff or pasta and seafood?"

"Pasta and stuff.  I don't like fish."

"Sure."  He went to toss that back into the freezer and pull out beef and sausage.  "What did you want, IAB guy?  Standing and staring isn't really conductive to doing your job."

"How are you affording this place?  I've heard two different stories."

Xander looked at him.  "My past is shrouded in mystery for a reason.  Go ask Taylor.  He knows."

"I checked your background and found that teacher that left.  He was being looked at oddly for making lab gold."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, and?"

"Can you?"

"That's how I made him disappear when I found out he was making drugs."  He smirked.  "It's twenty-two carat and comes out the same on most lab tests.  Now and then you can find some difference based on mineral inclusion."  He went back to browning the meat.  "Now he can't make drugs because he's too heavily watched by the community."

"That's a good point.  Is that how you afforded this stuff?"

"No.  I can do it but I don't.  I was told it was creepy by my uncle."

"You don't have an uncle."

Xander looked at him.  "Says who?"

"Says your background, Harris."

"Actually, I do have an uncle but he's pathetic.  John's here to watch over and help protect me.  How did you find out?"

"And tell me the ones who want to flay him alive don't know," Flack ordered impatiently.

"I'm not that uncautious.  One of his teachers let it slip."

Xander nodded.  "One has known.  She had relatives in the group."

"That stuff you used to do?"

"Made me the gun geek I am today," he said dryly.  A demon appeared with a pizza box.  "Oh, no.  I'm cooking and I'm not taking worshipers."

"I'll tell them you're here."

John turned and threw holy water on it, banishing the demon.  "We've got to redo the protections, kid."

"We are.  And move."

"And move," he agreed.  He looked at them.  "Taylor knows."

"Uh-huh.  So how is he affording those things?"  John got up to get something putting it in front of him.  The officer blanched very pale white.  "How?  Stolen?"

"It was stored in a tomb in my former town," Xander said. Technically he had lived in the town he had raided so many tombs around.  So not a lie.  "They didn't need it.  That's no worse than archeology."

"No, it's not.  It's ethical as well.  Not tasteful."

"Not that sort of tomb.  Tombs for things like the thing with the pizza box," Xander said.  He opened it and then tossed it out.  "Has grub worms."

"Disgusting," John complained.  "Some of them come to recruit him to their side with presents now and then as well.  Flack saw that the last time he was here."  Flack nodded at that.  He put the small ruby back.  "He did it to create an emergency fund to make sure he could stay away from those people safely."

"I can see why with their reputations.  Is he safe here in the city?"

"Yup.  We know the usual ones and I can hide.  Taylor knows so I can hide if it shows up suddenly.  If they make me move, I'll move labs."  He looked back at him.  "We do have plans.  Anything else?"

"Are you going to tell anyone about this?"

"I should make sure you don't remember this."  John glared at him.  "But I'd get beaten for that."  He looked at him.  "It'd be safer."

"Still wrong."

"My safety over a small wrong?" he suggested.

"Still wrong."

"Fine."  He went back to cooking.  "See, he does good on the dad duty.  He reminds me to eat too when I forget."

"Whatever," the officer said, shaking his head quickly.  "Make it more subtle."

"I'm living on my paycheck and palimony paid for the new apartment."

"Good."  He left, slamming the door behind him.

"You really shouldn't piss them off," Flack offered.

"I didn't, he pissed himself off," Xander said with a grin.  "Any idea where I should move?"

"Manhattan's expensive."

"We know," John assured him.  "We have this place for way too much."

Xander shrugged.  "I'm not sure if we want to rent or buy the next place."

"Rent.  In case you have to leave suddenly," John reminded him.  "Or else we'd have taken that nicer place uptown."  Xander nodded that he remembered that, finishing dinner and bringing it over to them.  "Decent, kid, thanks."

"Welcome, John."  He looked at Don.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  Are you okay?"

"I'm pretty good actually.  Chad's got the guns from last night.  I've only got four more days on my ride-along."  Don grinned.  "I know but I can't handle that.  I'm bored all day until we have to pounce someone.  Which we do at an alarming rate according to the boss.  He thinks I'm drawing them to us because I've been bored now and then."  He ate a bite, nodding.  "I did good."  He went back to eating, getting up to answer the door when it was knocked on.  "Hi, Mac.  There's more if you want dinner."

"That's fine, Javier."  He closed the door behind him, watching the boy go back to eating.  "The idiot just came to talk to me."

"Me too.  He said one of my teachers let it slip.  So we're on guard in case he lets it slip."

"He won't.  He's not one of those.  Others perhaps but not him."  He sat down at the table.  "Don."

"One of the guns that got stolen led back to a homicide."  He ate another bite.  "He's a pretty decent cook."

"That's a good thing."  He looked at the boy again.  "There's no way Chad can work a full night in ballistics.  He can't do test fires and he can't sit comfortably on the stools."

"Getting me out early?"

"I'm trying but your supervisor is being belligerent."

"I never did anything until he pushed me, Mac."

"I heard.  I talked to your supervising officer.   He said it's fine with him.  I'm having transfer papers expedited so we can get you back tomorrow.  If so, you're working noon to nine."  Xander nodded.  "And no smart t-shirts."

"Yes, Mac.  Even if they do relieve tension and stress."

"Uh-huh," Don said, looking at his present one.  It wasn't so bad.  "How bad are they?"  Xander got up to get one, bringing it back.  Don read the simple, short message and shook his head quickly.  _Small, green leafy bodies, long tongues drooling over sharp incisors, they weren't human, they were brussel sprouts, killer brussel sprouts._ "That's not what I expected from our prize ballistics tech."

"He has worse," John said, swatting Xander.  "Really, he does.  I made him burn two of them for giving me a headache."

Mac smirked.  "I have the feeling even bad cases will be better soon."  Xander nodded.  Mac's phone went off.  "Detective Mac Taylor," he answered, then listened.  "Is he all right?  Who is complaining?  I'll bring Javier in with me.  I'm with him and Flack right now, Stella.  Thank you for letting me know.  One hour."  Xander finished gulping dinner and put his plate in the sink, grabbing his glasses and changing his t-shirt on the way out.  "That's not an appropriate shirt," Mac said as he followed after him.

"It's fine for tonight, Mac, and it sounds like they could use some levity.  Meet you there."  He closed the door.

John shook his head.  "Have fun."

"ATF is in," he complained, putting his phone back.  Don finished up and headed back with him.  "Have a good night, John."  They hurried down to their cars, heading back to the lab.

***

Xander signed in and grabbed his ID from the box, waving it at the nice receptionist.  "I'm the ballistics tech."  She glared and pointed at two officers, who shrugged at her.  "My ride-along overlord is trying to be mean to Mac," he told one.  "I get my official ID in a few days."

"We know," the older one assured him.  "We've seen you busting your ass for us already, Elton."  Xander grinned.  "There's Feds stinking up the lab somewhere."

"We had guns busted last night."  He pushed the button, getting on with the ME Sheldon Hawkes.  "Hey.  Anything for me?"

"Um, you're which one?"

"Ballistics."

"Not tonight.  I thought that was Chad."

"Broken leg with ATF in residence tonight."  He got off on his floor, waving at Adam.  "I actually managed dinner," he said happily, getting a grin back until Adam saw his shirt, then he burst out giggling.  Xander just smirked and walked into his lab.  "If you had told me, Chad, I would've stayed so you wouldn't be in pain," he said, swatting him on the arm.

"Who're you?" the agent in there demanded.

He smiled sweetly.  "Ballistics tech Elton.  I officially start Saturday."  That got a nod. "Out of the program in Louisiana."

"Oh, heard about you."  That got a grin.  "Taylor lets you wear that?"

"Mac saw it when I walked out the door.  I decided some people needed some levity tonight," he said dryly.  "Now, what do we need?  Chad, sit."  He sat down in the desk chair with a groan of pain.  Xander moved to look at it.  "That's swelling, Chad.  You need to have it looked at."  He looked around.  "Stella, his leg's swelling under his cast," he yelled.  She came in with Sheldon to look at it.  "It's probably a weight swelling from where he was sitting up."

"Probably," Hawkes agreed.  "You should still be on leave, Chad."

"He doesn't start until Saturday."

"And I can stay over, Chad.  Get over it.  I've done doubles for the last week.  Go to the ER.  Have the nice people get you there somehow."  Stella nodded, helping him up and down to the locker room so he could get his keys and things.  "Thank you, ME Hawkes."

"Not a problem."  He left with a grin for the silly t-shirt.  "It's nice the new guy has a sense of humor."

"Very," Mac agreed as he walked past him. "Chad?"

"His leg's swelling from the weight of the cast and him sitting up.  Stella's getting him to the ER."

"Thank you."  Mac walked into ballistics, handing Xander his ID card.  "Yours."

"I love you."  He hugged his badge, putting it on and handing back the visitor's one.  "Okay, now that Chad's taken care of, what's the issue with the bust?  I was working on some of the guns last night and I left it for myself tonight when I got done with my ride-along.  Chad's gotten a few done I see."  He looked at them.  "Is there a procedural issue or some other issue that got you out of your fancy, gilded cages?"

"You have an attitude," one sneered.

"I'm sweet until you fuck with me.  I'm playing nicely right now."  His phone beeped with a  text message, making him check it.  He sent back an 'I'll calm down' to John and put it back.  "My uncle worries.  He looked at them.  "Problems?  Questions?  Wanting to go over what we're doing for our next disposal run?"

"Some of these were stolen from a lab in the midwest."

"We heard Chicago had a leak and they were sold, not stolen."  They gaped.  "I started my training in Chicago and had to leave due to a death threat, guys.  The local department heard there was a leak in Region 1's lab who sold guns that were going for disposal."  They moaned. "Are they from that or from some other incident?  I haven't finished logging them in yet.  When I do, if they're needed for evidence I'll gladly hand them over."

"We can log them in for you."

"It came from a local vice sting, that could endanger the case," Mac said.  "If the DA sends it for federal charges, you can take it over then.  Until then Javier's going to log in the materials and you guys can have a copy.  We know that they had some stolen and one of those leads back to a homicide."

They looked at each other then shrugged.  "He can log it into the system if he wants but we don't know his capabilities."

"Then look me up.  I took my competency tests this last year.  Plus my internship notes and temping time down there is in my local folder.  All you guys have to do is ask and I'll gladly play whatever form of ball you want.  Getting pushy makes me stubborn."

"We can see that," they decided together.  One looked him up through their system, gaping at him.  "How did you get the bomb and artillery ratings?"

"Past life before the threats."  He stared at them.  "Why?"  They shuddered.  "I'm under a serious death threat.  That's why I'm a *lab* tech."

"Fine," the senior one admitted.  "You handle the logging in.  Make a note that ATF is overseeing the case because it relates back to the missing guns out of Chicago.  It's part of an active investigation."  Xander nodded, writing that down for himself.  "We'll be checking over your shoulder in a few hours."

Xander slipped into his lab coat.  "Go for it."  They left to talk to Mac and then the Vice guys.

"Be nicer," Mac said as he walked past the door.

"I always try."  He got to work, finishing the one Chad had started.  He checked the ones Chad had done, nodding at the solid reports.  He printed those and started his own for each gun.  He put his into one report instead of many but that was fine.  Probably.  If not he'd cut and past later.  He took the first few to test fire and work on.  Each sample was stapled to the log-in tag for now.  It kept them straight and helped later on.  A few he found jammed and wrote that down.  He'd see if they wanted him to fix it or not or leave it that way.  He was inputting a bullet when they showed back up.  "I'm nearly done with the first batch.  Only two haven't come out of Chicago's goof that were able to be fired.  Six were fully jammed."

"How are you making sure you're not mixing up guns?" one asked.  Xander pointed at the tag.  "You're stapling the samples to the log-in tag?"

"For now.  That way I'm sure I have it with the right gun."  That one beeped and he input the note they wanted on the bottom of that file, then printed it and added it to his report, then sealed that bullet and moved on once he made sure the envelope was fully filled out.  "Do you guys want me to take heroic measures on the jammed ones?  That would include replacing parts except for the barrel or putting the barrel into the same sort of gun to test it that way."

"Why are they jammed?"

"Two are dirty.  One's got a broken firing pin.  Another looks bent. The other two I didn't strip down to see why yet but it sounded more like it was a victim of either being dirty or rust since it was grinding when I tried to fire."  He glanced over.  "I always leave that up to the tech because protocol and necessity vary."  He went back to his current one.  "Chad's reports from earlier on the table to your right.  Mine's being done in one big batch report since it's all the same case.  I'm also printing info sheets to go with it for easy reference since one looked a bit odd when I looked at it."  He pointed at those.  "I'll put those in the back as an appendix to the report if you want.  Keep them in order."  They sat down to look over the jammed guns and those.  Xander finished with his next sample when it didn't come up, frowning but making a note in the system with that gun and bullet.  Including a pin impression from the ejected shell cartridge.  He did what he needed to do to close out that gun and moved on.  "Can one of you take a dollar and get me a soda?"

"Sure, kid."  He took one from his wallet on the desk and went to do that.  Stella gave him a look.  "Elton asked for it."

"As long as it stays on the desk."

"I'm sure it will," Adam said as he walked in.  "Usually he gulps it in the hall then goes back to work."  He grinned.  "I like his t-shirt."

"I didn't see it."

He laughed.  "Small, green leafy bodies, long tongues drooling over sharp incisors, they weren't human, they were brussel sprouts, killer brussel sprouts."  She moaned, shaking her head.  "It's nice to have some humor now and then, Stella."

"If Mac allows it."

"He doesn't officially start until Saturday."  He got his own soda.  "Make him take a break, guys.  He forgets now and then.  It's why his uncle fusses."

The agent went back there.  The kid took the soda into the hall to gulp then came back to toss it out and change gloves, getting back to work.  "The other guy said you need a break."

"I'll take one when I get these done.  Before I go onto today's interesting looking bullets."  He waved a hand.  "This one's from Miami's lab."  They came over to look.  He input the note that it was found at a drug bust up here and that ATF is looking into it, getting a nod for that.  Then he printed it off and went on.  He finally got done around one that morning and leaned back to stretch, groaning some.  "Ow."  He got up to get something to drink.  "Let me get a drink and take a break.  I'll proofread it and grammatick it then hand it over."  The agent grunted, he was half-asleep.  Xander went to the break room to get a soda and a candy bar, nibbling on his way back.  He saw a few odd looks and waved, then pointed.  "Ballistics."  That got a nod from one.  He finished up, went to the bathroom, then came back to proofread his report.  The printer woke them up.  "Give me ten to print it, guys."  They grumbled but nodded, shifting to stay awake.  He got finished and put it into the appropriate report cover, handing it over with the printed out sheets.  "There you go."  He stuck Chad's in the front and handed it back.  "All yours."

"Thanks, Elton.  That was pretty fast work."

Xander grinned.  "I'm like that.  If you guys need more, come to me and I'll see what I can do.  Especially about those heroic measure guns.  I did look them up by serial number and noted that in the report plus what was wrong with it without breaking it down."

"We'll see if we need those too.  Lock those up and save them for us."

"Granted."  They left and Xander locked them up specially for them in evidence, making a note they were for a Vice/ATF investigation.  Then he went back to his lab to make sure he could catch up with today's work.  He was still working on that when Mac came back in the morning.  "Am I late?" he asked when Mac coughed at the doorway, checking his watch.  "Shit."

"You're here now.  The Commissioner agreed."  He came in to look around.  "Those guns?"

"Evidence with a note on the box I locked them in that it was a joint Vice/ATF investigation."

"That's fine.  The report?"  Xander moved and printed it out for him, making him gape.  He reprinted Chad's too.  Mac groaned.  "You put yours in one?"

"Separated out by gun.  Since it's the same case I thought that would be protocol. If not, I'll copy and paste into individual ones.  I printed off the info sheets on those guns that I found already in the system for their copy.  In that I noted that it was found and the case number there.  All you should have to do is look it up to find it if the DA needs it, Mac."

"That's fine.  Are you nearly done for the day?"

"I've got a few more hours actually."  He yawned.  "Then I'll nap in the breakroom and start my usual schedule.  Let me finish the last three guns that came in yesterday."

"Do them later, nap now."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  Mac looked over the lab, finding the pile of reports.  He checked, the kid had left a sample running but the bullet itself was resealed.  It looked like it was a serial number search.  The gun box was resealed properly and the report was started.  He made sure it was saved down for him and left, locking the lab behind himself.  He found Danny staring at him.  "ATF came for those Vice bust guns," he told him.  "He was here since dinner last night."  Danny shuddered. "There's a few more reports done if you were looking for one but I locked the door."

"Nope.  He gave me way too may last time.  I'm still working on them."

"He's nearly done with all of yesterday's guns," he offered.  "He's a quick worker."

"That's good but I doubt he needs ta be burnt out already."  He went to check on his own cases.  He'd get with the kid later for his reports.  He'd ignore the t-shirt for now since Mac didn't say anything.

Mac went to his office to call those two agents.  "I've got a copy of Elton's report.  Did you need more support from our lab?"  He listened to what he said.  "That's reasonable.  They're in evidence, locked with a joint Vice/ATF investigation tag.  Yes, including those."  He looked at the jammed guns listed and nodded.  "It is protocol to leave it up to the assigned agent or tech.  If you want I can work on those while he sleeps.  No, I just sent him to nap in the break room.  Please do.  This gun from Miami, any idea?  I can call Caine so you don't have to be bitten."

He nodded, smirking some.  "Let me do that.  He won't nip at me.  Let me know please."  He hung up and leaned back, calling down there.  "Horatio, Mac Taylor.  It's good to hear from you too but we have a small quandary.  You heard about the problems Chicago had with their Region 1 gun drop?"  He nodded.  "Actually, my tech started school out there and he said he heard it was sold, but basically.  No, we found a bunch of them at a vice bust two days ago.  The ATF agents were here last night since they heard some were from that.  One was from your neck of the woods.  No, I'm calling so you don't bite them, Horatio."

He gave him the case number, letting him look it up.  "My new tech?  Elton, out of there and Louisiana.  Fairly good.  I've had to pull him from his ride-along early because Chad broke his leg.  He was pulling doubles for a few days."  He smiled.  "I just sent him to nap in the break room since he was here all night doing that batch of guns.   Any idea how it got free?"  He nodded, making a note.  "I'll pass that on.  We know they had a few stolen.  We verified their inventory when we found fingerprints from a different source near the guns.  Gave the DA a note that they cooperated if they gave us a list of what was stolen.  It's already led back to a homicide locally."

He nodded, making another note.  "That's fine.  They're arguing over that at the moment."  He paused when he saw someone in the halls, frowning.  "Actually, if that's what I think it is, I'm going to be sending him down to liaise with you, Horatio.  Because he's got a pretty good death threat against him at the moment and I think they just showed up.  Sure, I'll let you know what we find out.  You do the same if you hear.  Thanks," he said then hung up.  He went to see that person.  "Who are you and why are you in my lab?"

"I'm Doctor Mortimer Masiston.  I'm here to consult on a few pieces of antique shards we have?"

"Which tech called, do you know?"

"Um, Bonasera I believe her name was."

"Stella should be in within twenty minutes.  Let me get you to a work area so no one says anything."  He got a nod and led him to a work area on the other side of the lab from the break room. "I'll page her to see where they are and when she'll be here.  Will you need more than the magnifying system?"

"I shouldn't.  Thank you, Detective."

"Not a problem."  He texted her on his way to the break room, finding Xander curled up facing the back of the couch.  He put a blanket over him, watching as the boy hid.  Stella came up the hall.  "Stella?"  She leaned in.  "I think that expert is one of the ones who want him," he said quietly, getting a nod.  "He was here all night so I'm letting him crash before his shift.  I put him on the other side of the lab, near the bathroom."

"I'll try to keep him from there, Mac."  She went to find the samples and bring them to him.  "Here you go.  We found these six shards, and they look like they come from the same thing, and they come up as being at least from the sixteen hundreds but a few flecks off one came up older.  That's why I wanted your opinion."

"I can gladly give that."  He settled in to open and look at each shard she handed him.  "Hmm, pottery.  Was there any indication of residue from use?"

"The oldest had a bit of wine from the stuff soaked in."  She sat across from him.  "I have no idea why they were with my victim.  She didn't have a lot of antiques and the few she had were furniture and within the last hundred-and-fifty years.  They looked well used.  I  couldn't find any evidence of broken pots there."

"That is interesting.  So you think the killer might have brought it?"

"Or broken them and removed them," she agreed.

"We can definitely see."  He looked at the first one under the microscope.  "It's only a small fleck but I can tell you about the paint and the quality of the pottery mix used."  He made notes, going back to the image.

Mac got Xander awake after a few tries, getting glared at.  "There's a Professor Masiston here," he said quietly.

"Fuck.  For me?"

"For Stella's case.  He's on the other side of the lab.  There's a napping closet on the other lab floor.  Let's get you up there.  Also, I talked with the lab in Miami.  They're looking into that one gun."  Xander nodded, following him up there to nap in that closet.  Danny gave him a stare from where he was working.  "One of them is here for Stella's shards."

"Ah.  Hit the john first, kid."  He went to do that then went back to curl up in the closet on the sleeping bag in there.  Danny closed the door.  "I'll watch out for him.  When should he be up?"

"His shift starts at noon but he was here all night."  That got a nod.  "Have him change too."  He went back to glance in at them on his way past the door.  It'd be safe, he hoped.  It wasn't often they had to call in a professional consult here in the lab so as long as they didn't see the kid he'd be okay for a while longer.  Don walked into his office an hour later.  "What's wrong?"

"ATF wants to take over my homicide too."

"Your boss and vice talk to them?"

"Yup."  He handed over the official notice.  "They're coming for the guns."

"He's asleep in the upstairs closet."

"We can let them heft and tote then."  He followed Mac to evidence, finding the box open and the seal broken but the guns all in there.  "Huh."

Mac frowned, getting the evidence person.  "Who touched this?"

"The ATF agents, Detective.  They had paperwork to claim the evidence and case.  Was I wrong to do so?  They checked and had to get something to carry the case."

"They shouldn't have broken the seal."  He resealed it and made a note on the original tape about what had happened.  He scowled at them when they came back.  "Do not break evidence seals here without reason and you do not leave evidence open, gentlemen.  It can be considered compromised."

"Sorry, Detective.  We needed to make sure this was the only case."  They pulled it down onto the handtruck and grunted as it was slow to get moving.  Flack pushed it with them and got a nod of thanks.   "We'll keep that in mind for our next one, sir."

"Let us know if you need more help.  Did you get the other evidence like the drug evidence?"

"The rest of our team is getting that."  That got a nod.  "We'll call on Elton later if we need more information.  Any word from Miami?"

"Caine's looking into it.  He knows they haven't had a theft.  He said he'd let me know by tonight."

"Please let us know then.  It's nice of you to spare us the redheaded temper he has."  They took their guns off to their truck, getting and heading back to their own lab.  Their lab techs did a spot check of five guns and found them correct so it was good for them.  They'd trust that guy to work on their cases since he had a good idea of what he was doing.

Mac and Don shared a look, both shaking their heads.  Mac went to check on the expert again, finding him in the bathroom.  Xander was still snoring when he paused by that door.  Danny waved him off so it was still good.

***

Xander walked in that night at ten.  "My lab is cleaned, clear of new samples, and all that."  He hugged Dean since he was in his way.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Get off, grabby."  Xander laughed, hugging Sam too.  "Long day?"

"One of them showed up to help Stella with some pottery shards so I got to nap in the closet for a few hours."  John handed him food.  "Thank you too."  He gave him a hug.  "I'm officially off my ride-along!  I'm so happy!"  He went to eat in his bedroom, coming out with his bag for his new locker.  It went beside the door.  "That's for my new locker.  I didn't have one at the other one so I'm good."  He flopped down.  "What's going on?"

"You did what last night?" John asked.

"Shot back at the Feds who were nagging Chad in my lab.  Pointed out I was nice until you fucked with me.   That compulsion is set way too strictly, John."

"It is," Dean agreed.  "Any problems?"

"No.  They were playing 'you're not one of us' with me."  He shrugged.  "They decided I'm good when they got the report and all the guns from that bust.  Mac said they said nice things and put me on the competent techs to go to list they have unofficially around the office."

"Congratulations," Sam praised with a smile.  "Any other spots of meanness?"

"I made Adam laugh with my t-shirt.  I was wearing my killer brussel sprouts t-shirt when I went in.  Did you get more than the urge to swat me, John?"

"Tara called us.  They tried to reaffirm the compulsion last night," Dean told him.  John grimaced.  "So Dad's a bit pissed at them.  Is there any hope of getting it off, dude?"

Xander shrugged.  "We've went over the books I have.  I haven't had much time to research.  John?"

"Not with the way they wove it into how I got brought back."

Xander considered it.  "There might be a way to block it from making you react so strongly to it.  I mean, you nearly grabbed your pistol when I was flirting with a girl, John."  He rolled his eyes.  "Okay, she was a succuba but that might be fun now and then.  I played with one in the past and it was okay."

"No," he ordered.

"Fine."

"Wow, he nearly threw a fit when I accidentally hit on one," Dean said, staring at his father.  "I thought you were treating him like a little brother, Dad."

"I am, Dean.   She got the happy evil feeling in the store.  I was going to shoot her, not him."  Xander just grinned and finished dinner.  "When did you get to sleep?"

"Eight when Mac showed up for his shift.  Until eleven-thirty then I got up, took a shower, changed, and went to work for my real shift.  I can nap tonight and I'm not due in until noon."

"Good," John decided.  "Eat more."

"I had food before I started to work."  John glared so he went to get more food.  "I was thinking about this earlier.  There might be a way to taint the compulsion but it might not work the way I think it will.  It was in the brown, Burnson book, John."  He went to get it.  Xander came back with dinner.  "Any other happy news, guys?"

"Sammy screwed up his ankle on our last hunt," Dean admitted.  Xander moved to look at it.  "It's only sprained, Javier."

"Actually I think it's partially dislocated.  Did you have an x-ray?"  Sam nodded.  "What did they say?"

"Not broken, wrap it well, ice it for fifteen each hour until the swelling went down.  I tripped getting out of the car."

"Ah."  He got him an ice pack and the bandage, doing it for him.  Then he went back to eating.

"What's this book it's referencing?" John asked.

"Um, something demons use?  I think.  I haven't found a copy but I did ask the girl in the shop we went to in Louisiana to find it for me.  It was on that huge list."

"I'll call her tomorrow, see if she has it yet.  We haven't checked in a few weeks.  I'll check the one up here too."  That got a nod.  "Any idea if they saw you?"

"Nope.  But I do need to learn how to do disguise stuff.  It might come in very handy."

"If we can figure it out," Dean agreed.  "You didn't write Bobby in a few days?"

"We've had a backlog."

"Oh.  Bad run of gun crimes?"

"A vice bust that ATF took over.  A few shootings, a few traffic stops with guns found on them.  A few drug dealers."  He shrugged.  "It's New York, we get a lot of gun crimes."  Someone knocked.  "Who is it?"

"Flack."  Sam got up to let him in when John only grunted in displeasure.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  I tripped getting out of the car, Detective.  Is there a problem?  Are we being too loud?"

"Nope, I came to see if our new ballistics tech wanted to go out for the night.  A bunch of the techs are going out for a beer or six and invited me.  I figured I'd bring him so he could introduce himself around."

"He needs to sleep.  He can go out on payday," John said.

Don looked at him.  "He's a big boy, John."

"I know, he still only got a few hours of sleep in a closet today."

"You did?"

"Yeah, Mac sent me to the couch when he got in for his shift.  I finished those ATF guns and then the backlog we had from yesterday."

"Congrats."  He grinned.  "You sure?"

Xander licked his fork.  "Are you asking for yourself or just to have some fun?  Because I'm all for fun but if you want me to tease you I will," he offered with a grin.  "I'm not against it but I don't want to ruin any working relationship so I usually keep it at teasing levels, Don."

Don blushed and coughed a bit but nodded.  "Good to know.  I'll remember that."  He grinned.  "You can tease all you want but don't get in the way of me hitting on girls."

"I won't.  I'll even let you know if any of them are the bad girl sort that seem to be drawn to me.  John said he nearly shot the last one."  Flack burst out laughing at that.  "But I'll definitely go out payday if they want."

"Sure, we can do that."  He patted him on the head.  "Sleep tonight.  Don't horrify Mac in the morning wit your new t-shirt.  Wear it under a button-up so he can't say much. The lab's a bit chilly anyway."

"I can definitely do that," he agreed with a wicked smirk.  John coughed.  "I'm being fun-loving, not evil, John."

"If you say so, kid."  He looked over.  "You might want to warn them he does pick gently on others to tease them. That way they don't have a shocked reaction like I did."

"He did.  I teased him and he glared and growled," Xander agreed, cracking Don up again.

"I'll make sure they know that, kid.  See you tomorrow."  He left, going to the bar to talk to them.  "He said he'd come out payday with you guys but tonight he's gotta sleep and John's making sure of it."  He sat down, pouring himself a cup from the pitcher of beer.  Stella stared at him.  "What?  He's a nice kid."

"John is?" she prompted.

"The guy watching over him like an uncle."

"Why?"

"Long story I can't tell you and neither can Mac, Stella."

"So, it has to do with this death threat we heard about?"  He nodded.  "Good to know.  I know the expert I had in today freaked him out.  I didn't think geeks like that were a threat to anyone."

"He turned in their apocalypse vault in Leeds, England, a few years back when they tried to bother him," Flack said more quietly.  She shuddered.   "But anyway, he did say to warn you guys that he'll tease but not follow-through since he doesn't want to ruin a work relationship and I reminded him to wear his next smart-ass t-shirt under a button-up so Mac couldn't huff too hard."  He took a sip.  "But he's a nice kid.  John's sons were in to check on them too."

"Why is he under a death threat?" Adam asked.  Everyone but Flack shrugged.  "Should we know?"

"Mac knows," Don told him.  That got a nod.  "Now and then it causes the kid's mind to go funny and make him think strange thoughts but he's a good kid."

"I saw his killer brussel sprouts shirt," Stella said dryly.

"I've seen a few others that're more insane," Don assured her with a grin.

"Yeah, he should probably be able to cover that up if he wears it in the lab.  How did you meet him, Don?"

"Remember that serial at the academy?"  Stella nodded.  "The instructors said ta help us since he was a CSI and he turned the kid in for the old blood stink in his room.  He had looked you guys up.  He told Aiden he had heard some of the other guys going off in the dorms about her ass."  She smirked at that, shaking her head. "Politely and said a few nice things as well.  She agreed, he's a smartass but he's good.  They gave him the crap jobs like bagging the parts.  He got grossed out but handled it quickly and efficiently.  When the instructors said to have him there to help question the roomie, the roomie suggested he was wrong in the head and should be arrested some day for being a gun geek, but otherwise he helped.  When the guy showed up while we were questioning the rookie, he pounced the guy and make him beg ta confess and want his mommy."

"I worked with him on that car kidnaping thing," Danny told her.  "He's fast and smart, but a smartass to relieve tension.  He was breaking down the car before we got there to search it for more kids and broke it down onto the truck to make sure there weren't any more.  Even though he was on his ride-along and his supervisor there didn't like CSI.  His ride-along supervising officer loved the kid though.  Stood up for him when he tried shit."

"Good to know.  How good is he in the field?"

"He's got it as a minor," Adam asked.  "I asked.  He took trace and field classes as a minor.  He loves guns though so he wants to stay there."  She nodded at that.  "He cooed over the ones that the ATF took from us today."

"He's got a small collection going.  Mac said to keep anything he shouldn't know about outside the city and the boy agreed to that," Don assured him, getting a smirk back from Adam.  "Anyway, he said he'd come out payday."

"That's fine," Stella agreed.  "He's on for what?"

"Noon ta nine," Danny told her.  "Chad's still out with his leg.  He tried when they complained the kid was doing doubles and then going to his ride-along but he couldn't stand so Mac brought Javier back.  That's not his name, right?"  Don shook his head.  "Didn't think so.  His records come in two different names from what I heard."

"They tried to take his teachers hostage in Chicago when he was in his first semester," Don said quietly.  "That's when he turned in their weapons."  That got a nod. "He went to Louisiana."

"Which isn't a bad program," Stella admitted.  "So we'll see.  I know Mac's watching him pretty closely because of the threat.  It was nice he got a nap last night."

"He came in after his ride-along shift, worked all those guns until Mac got in this morning, then Mac made him nap," Adam told her.  She spluttered on her current drink.  "Oh, and get this, because of whatever happened now and then he forgets to eat and sleep.  John likes to nag about that.  After his third night in a row of not making it home before his day shift ride-along he came to gather him from the lab.  Politely but Mac agreed and handed him over by locking him out of the lab for a bit."

"Wow.  How does he forget to eat and sleep?  Doesn't his body tell him he needs it?"

"Apparently not anymore," Don told her.  "I saw Mac remind him to take a break and he had the 'oh, yeah, it's been hours, I should eat' reaction."  She shuddered. "So however his friend screwed up to get those people's attention, it wasn't good for him."

"Or maybe it was too good and overloaded his mind," Danny offered quietly.  "That could be the getting lost in thought thing.  But, as long as he's good on the street and in the lab, I'm not going to care if he's a lunatic at home."

"Nah, he's a nice guy.  Mac and I had dinner with him before he got to bring him back for the ATF since Chad couldn't work.  My last homicide led back to their stolen guns," he said at Stella's odd look.

"Interesting.  How do we know what they stole?"

"Mac promised to give the DA a good word if they admitted what had been stolen when the kid found fingerprints next to the storage area," Adam told her.  "He doesn't lift them great but they're good.  More like Aiden lifts prints."  She nodded at that.  "But yeah, he wants to stay in the lab and knows it's safer.  He was only on that because the sergeant or whatever over his ride-along unit called them in for a double and sent them with vice.  So he went as a CSI."

Danny nodded.  "That's what I heard too."  Aiden came in and sat down.  "Talking about our rookie gun nut."

"He's a nice kid who has sense and a sense of humor.  It's a nice change from some of the robots we've had in the labs."  Stella nodded at that.  "I would warn him to cover his t-shirts though.  Mac doesn't have that sort of humor most days."

"No he doesn't," Danny agreed.

"He says he does it to release some tension," Adam told them.  "Since I've been on the late shift I've been having breaks with him."  He grinned.  "He's a funny, nice guy who has a horrible dating record according to him."

"He teased me about that and said he'd keep the bad girl patrol off me if we were out together," Don told him.

Adam smiled.  "John wanted to shoot him the last time he tried to date, Don."

"That's how I found out he'll tease but not follow through with anyone he works with," Don said smugly.  They all laughed at that.

"How evil can they be?" Aiden asked.

"Very," Don assured her.  "Or so I heard."

"You know why," Stella said.  Don nodded.  "Share a little bit so we're safer?"

"Mac has a list of people to watch out for him for.  Plus their businesses."

"Good to know."

"One was stupid enough to pretend to be a Fed in an airport to get one of his friends after his graduation.  Brought in a bag'n'tag team to get her with officers on scene."  She moaned at that.  "He's got it.  He's well trained and he was a gun nut long before this happened."

"Fine.  He can handle it on the street?"

Don nodded.  "By his past, yeah.  His former town was bad.  Not gang bad but bad."  She nodded at that.  "So he's cool.  I'd expect him to step in if he can't stop himself."

"I'll remember that."  She patted his hand. "Let's hope he works out with us.  Mac seems happy to have him."

"Mac's very happy ta have him," Danny agreed.  "Fortunately.  It's nice we got someone competent we don't have ta run off again."  They all nodded at that, Adam harder than most.  He had helped run off the last ballistics tech before Chad for being a screw up.  They had went through ten in the last three years for not fitting in.  So this kid, he'd make it better.

The Many Mystical Mes 6.

Mac looked at Xander as he walked in the next morning.   _I'm not God, I'm your GM.   Consider me your Angel of Murphy._ "What did I say about t-shirts?"   He buttoned up the shirt overtop of it.  "Thank you.  If you're going to be the Angel of Murphy, don't mess up any cases."

"I'll try really hard not to, boss," he quipped with a grin.  "I thought the other geeks might like it."

"They probably will but the Mayor's due in later for a meeting."

"I have something else I can wear," he offered with a sweet smile.

"How bad is it?"  He pulled it out to show him. _Life--an invariably fatal condition spread by sexual contact_ "Do I want to know where you get those?"

"No."  He grinned.  "Want me to change?"

"Keep your overshirt buttoned while he's in the lab."

"It does relieve stress and tension."

"Maybe but I'd like the lab to be a bit more serious."

"I can be serious about my work and still be fun and tension relieving the rest of the time, Mac.  Really.  Like I was last week.  Let me go stuff my locker then I'll hit my lab.  Much work for me?"

"Not yet."  He watched him go, shaking his head.  He looked at the other lab techs.  "That's Javier Elton, our new ballistics tech," he told a few curious people.  "He has an unfortunate smartass t-shirt habit."  They went to introduce themselves.  Mac went to take a tylenol.  The mayor was not going to like that and would nag him some more.  When he came, Javier had everything buttoned closed so he was fine this time.  "Our new ballistics tech, sir.  Elton, this is our mayor."

"Sir."  He waved.  "I can't shake your hands without changing gloves.  That'd be wasting money.  Is there anything I can help you with today?  Case information or something you needed?"

"Just touring the lab to make sure it's running all right and properly, Elton.  Are you new?"  He nodded.  "Welcome to the department."

"Thank you, sir.  I look forward to driving Mac nuts so he has less bad days for years to come.  That way he doesn't have to snap at others when he has a case that makes him ache."

He smiled.  "That's a service we could use sometimes.  Try if you can and he lets you."  He walked off grinning.  "I like him, Taylor.  He has a sense of humor."

"Yes, sir, he does."  And he'd be spanking it out of the kid if he had to.

The mayor smirked.  "Sometimes you do look like someone crapped in your cereal, Taylor.  Stress relief saves sick days and blood pressure spikes."

"I'll keep that in mind and let him try to cheer me up when I'm having a bad day after a budget meeting."

"Good."  He clapped him on the back.  "CSI Bonasera.  Pleasure to see you again."

"Mayor, welcome back to the lab.  Problems?"

"Touring since I haven't heard a budget complaint recently.  That new ballistics tech seemed nice.  Said he was there to make Taylor scowl less after bad cases by being comic relief."

"So I've heard but I haven't met him yet.  I'm just getting in from a case."  She smiled.  "Have a good tour, sir."

"I hope it's an easily solved case, Bonasera."  He walked on.

She went to look at the kid.  "Mac has many forms of comic relief, including spanking people who make him get odd looks."  Xander undid his coat and shirt, making her snicker at the t-shirt.  "That might help, yeah.  Be nicer."

"All I said was that I could help cheer him up after a bad case made him ache.  Otherwise we get pushed down to the point where we want to quit."

"Good point."  She smiled.  "Do it back up.  He's coming this way."  He buttoned his coat and got to work.  "He seems nice, Mac.  Good choice."

"You have other jobs than to cheer me up, Elton."

"I know that.  That's why you have two reports on the table and Stella has one too."  He grinned.  "I'm efficient and fun.  Like Commander Data."  She burst out cackling at that, grabbing her report and walking off laughing.

Mac shook his head.  "Try to be a bit more circumspect when the higher ups are here?"

"That's why I had it covered, Mac."

"Good.  Thank you."  He walked off with his reports shaking his head.  He'd have to get used to him.  He was sure he was here for a good, long time.  Then he'd get to warn his next boss.  Which might be Horatio so he'd lose that pinching underwear look he got sometimes.  He heard a shot and went running, finding two officers on the ground fighting and his new ballistics tech with a gun in hand.  "That had better not have been you shooting something," he warned.

"It wasn't.  The one in the biker boots was going for his gun and it went off into the wall," he said with a point.  "I took it when I got here and I'm trying to get the other's gun in a second."  He watched then reached down to snatch the other one and then got his backup from his ankle.  He handed them to Stella since she had a bag.  Then he and Mac hauled them apart.  "Welcome to my foot going up your ass, the hottest gameshow this side of hell.  You're here to play for our grand prize," he quipped as he shoved his against the wall.  "Which round do you want to play, little boy?  Questions from Me?  Questions from a supervisor?  Or maybe Ruining Your Lives with Internal Affairs?  Your choice!"  They moaned.  "I'd answer now.  The offer only lasts another ten seconds since you were trying to pull your gun in this hallway in *my* damn lab."

"Please?  Not IAB?"

He handed him to Mac once he was cuffed.  He looked at the other one.  "We can call him for you if you want.  Mac's a lot nicer than I am."  The guy nearly hid behind Mac. "Good!  Then I'll go put your guns in for destruction since you won't be needing them any more."  They whimpered but Mac walked them off.  "Bye now!" he called, waving after them.  "Have fun being beaten in prison."  He took the bag of guns, walking off shaking his head.  "Want me to pull the bullet?"

"I will," Stella said, looking very confused.  "He seemed so nice earlier," she told Danny when she caught him watching.

"He is until you get in his face," he assured her.  "Want pliers?"

"Please."  She got down to find the bullet, taking the pliers to pull it out of the baseboard.  "At least it wasn't into a glass panel."

"He'd have made them clean it up with their bare fingers and tongues," Danny assured him, taking the bullet to ballistics.  "Here ya go.  One idiot's bullet."

"Thank you."  He put it aside and went back to doing the formal search through the records.  "Huh.  Hey, Danny, I just found a match."

"It's an officer's gun, you should."

"Not in that database at the moment."  He moved the monitor so he could see it.

"Print it, let me get it to Mac."  He did that and Danny got to deliver the happy news.  He knocked then walked in.  "Hey, Mac, something you should see.  The bullet didn't cause any harm."  He handed it over and smirked at that officer, who shuddered.

"That's very interesting.  Match the bullet as well?"

"He'll probably be doing it next."

"Good.  Let me know, just in case.  I'd like to get them on their way to the courthouse before IAB gets here."

"I think we'd all enjoy that."  He left to go back to ballistics.  "Any other matches?  Bullet or either gun?"

"I've got the bullet running on the second system.  His backup isn't registered.  The other officer's gun is running now.  I need his name for the backup's file."  Danny wrote it down for him from what he had seen on his badge.  "Thank you."  He finished that file and printed it for him.  Then he looked at the other system.  "Clean, no matches.  The bullet?"

Danny looked.  "One.  Same case."  He printed it and let Xander type notes onto that file.  He took it to Mac and it was nicer.  "One's clean.  His backup's not in the system anywhere so it is now.  I attributed it to him.  Was that right?"  Mac nodded.  "Good."  He handed it over.  "Bullet matched that case too."

"Good to know."  He looked at it then at the officer that may be clean.  "Ten words or less, what were you thinking?"

"He was walking around with his hand on his gun and I thought he was going to hurt someone, sir.  That's why I tackled him."

"No you didn't," the other complained.

"We can verify it with the hallway's tapes," Mac told them.  Stella walked in with that note.  "Thank you, CSI Bonasera," he said, looking at it.  He pushed it over.  "You're both going to jail.  If you give me the truth, I won't have them put you in gen pop."  They shuddered and shrank down some more.

"Sit up, you disgraces to the uniform," Stella snapped.  They sat up like they were in the academy.  "Give it now, boys.  It's him or Internal Affairs.  They'll walk you into gen pop crying."  One did sniffle.  She walked off shaking her head.  Mac came out a few minutes later with a tape of their confessions.  Officers walked those two down to booking for him.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  I'm surprised he didn't join them."

"He knows better.  It would've gotten him hurt.  At the very least by me yelling at him."  They shared a look.  "Any other bad ideas for the day, Mac?"

"I can change shirts," Xander called from his lab.

"No, don't," Stella ordered.  She walked off shaking her head but she was smirking.

Mac looked in there.  "You did that correctly."

"I was going to get them apart once I had their guns, Mac."

"Which is the right thing to do."  Xander nodded.  "And to yell for help?"

"Why?  I had it."  He shrugged.

"There's this concept of backup," he said, walking in there.

"Which if I'm taking down a gang of kids I'll ask for."  He grinned. "They were just two idiots."

"I know.  Still, next time shout a warning in case they manage to get off another accidental shot."

"Yes, Mac."

"Thank you."  He walked off but he was happier.  He came back.  "Apparently you were their Angel of Murphy today."  He went up to his office to let others know that they had just put two officers in jail.  His boss wasn't pleased so he sent the hallway surveillance video to him.  That made him less happy but he agreed they didn't have to wait for IAB and Harris was a smartass who needed spanked.  He sent back a note saying he had told the mayor he was stress relief for bad cases and left it there.

***

Xander walked in that night, seeing John pacing.  "Was I bad when I was smarting off to the guys I stopped having a brawl in uniform in the middle of a hallway in the lab?"

"No."  He looked at him.  "Dean's not answering his phone."

"Okay, so let's scry.  In case he's with a girl somewhere."  John relaxed and Xander got a good dish for them to use.   He ran water into it and moved it to the table so he could find them, finding him knocked out in a cave.  He found Sam knocked out in the same cave.  Xander looked at John then took his hand and focused on the scene, taking him there.  John found the demon and shot him while Xander got them untied and awake, doing some field treatment of their injuries.  "Aren't you two dumb?" he taunted with a smirk.

"No," Dean said weakly.

"Yeah," Xander assured him.  "It was.  Or else you wouldn't have a concussion and be tied up in a cave.  Apparently he thought you were a tasty hunter."

"I'm cute but not that way," he complained.

"Uh-huh.  He thought you and Sam both were."  Dean snorted, holding his head.  Xander moved to help get Sam free and awake.  "Morning, sunshine."

"Bite me," he muttered.  Xander leaned over to nip him on the shoulder, making him yelp. "That's mean!"

"You offered and I'm having a playful day since two guys in uniform decided to brawl in the middle of a lab hallway over their illegal holding up convenience store ring."

"I'm sure Mac was just as pleased," John said as he came back.  "They okay?  Sammy, why is your shoulder wet?"

"Sammy told Xander to bite him so he did," Dean told him.  "Ow," he moaned, trying to get up.  John helped, making him moan more.  "I have no idea where that thing came from.  The last I knew we were on the road."

"You can come have the spare room while the car gets fixed, Dean," Xander soothed.  "John?"

"It's outside.  I'll get a wrecker."  He looked at his boys.  "You two good?"  They shook their heads.  "Go with Xander.  He'll make sure you'll be fine and fuss enough so you never do it again."

"Not always, you went after those cannibal gold fish by yourself after I fussed over you," Xander said dryly.  He took both boys back to the apartment, making sure John had his phone while the boys puked in the sink next to each other.  Xander poured the water out and shook his head, going to make up the pullout and the spare room's bed for them.  "At least you weren't far away."  They groaned again.  He took them to the bathroom.  "Do I need to hold you while you shower?

"You might get too happy and rob the world's women of me," Dean complained.  "Go baby Sammy, he might like it."

"Sure.  Shower, I'll put some of my sweats in there for you, Dean."  He went to do that, bringing Sam to John's bathroom and doing the same for him.  Sam swatted weakly when Xander tried to help him into the running water so he left him alone.  In ten minutes he went to check on them, stripping down to help Dean finish his shower and out, then helping him dress and putting him onto the spare bed since it was closer.  He trudged over to help Sam out, finding him nearly passed out again.  He got him cleaned up and out, putting him into the sweat shorts he had found, then onto the pullout sofa.  He called John.  "They're both showered and out.  Need more help?"

He smiled.  "That's good to know.  Do we have GPS?"  He nodded.  "Thanks.  Of course mine is magical, John.  Do you know how much my phone would cost me a month if it wasn't?"  He hung up and called AAA for him.  "Hi, Auto Club?  I just got a message from my uncle.  He's stranded with his car out at some GPS coordinates and can't get a signal to call for himself.  I can do that."  He repeated them for them, letting them check it.  "Black Impala.  His name's John.  My Triple-A number?"  He dug it out and repeated it for him.

"Thank you.  He had a small wreck.  No he should be fine.  I brought in my cousin who had been driving.  He's obviously got a head injury since he said he saw Bigfoot.  Yeah, like that.  Thank you.  No, no signal at all on his cell.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and went to check on the boys, starting some soup.  It was cooler and rainy where John was.  The boys would hopefully be able to keep it down soon too.  It was going to be a long night of waking them up.

***

"Mr. Elton," the internal affairs asshole who liked to bother him said when he spotted him.  "What makes you think that what you did yesterday was technically correct?  You smarted off and offered a supervisor over us?"

Xander looked at him.  "I figured I could scare the crap out of them and if I couldn't Mac certainly could.  It meant that you didn't have to come out of your office to do the boring paperwork.  Besides, the academy said if we suspected a bad cop to tell a supervisor first and then you guys.  That means Mac would've gotten them when I had pounced and dragged them off by their balls then you would've gotten them anyway."  He smirked.  "Did you have a problem with me being a scary bitch that makes people beg in many interesting ways?"

The officer gaped at him.  "Excuse me?"

"I have.  It's kinda fun to watch them beg.  Some beg for pleasure.  Some beg for destruction.  It's all in what they want.  One guy begged me to spank him during my ride-along; he thought I'd be good at it.  Made my partner at the time *very* happy."  His partner had cackled so long and hard they had to cut their lunch short because he couldn't quit.  "I do scary bitch nearly as well as I do pleasure slave Javier.  Wanna see?"  The officer turned and fled, stomping off.  He waved.  "Just let me know.  You're not my type but I can look at it like an acting job if you insist.  Have a *good* day now, ya hear?" he called after him.  The man slammed the stairs door open since the elevator wouldn't come instantly.  He turned and found Flack and Mac both there.  "What?"

"I heard about that spanking guy," Flack told him.  "Cute."

"Yes I am."  He grinned and looked at Mac, who was staring at his t-shirt.  "It's entirely nice."

"Uh-huh.  Button up shirt, Javier.  _ My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!_ is not appropriate for work."

"Sorry, Mac.   Just being the interesting sort I am," he quipped, pulling out his button-up of the day and putting it on.  "Doing this means I don't have to get GSR out of my favorite t-shirts anyway."  He walked off grinning.

"I think he's right, he does scary bitch very well," Flack decided, cracking Mac up.

"Don't encourage him, Don."  He walked up to his office to call Internal Affairs to make sure they didn't need statements from yesterday.  Since he had fled before getting any.

Adam walked into ballistics.  "Dude, you *are* a scary person."  Xander grinned and nodded.  "No one makes Internal Affairs run like that."

Xander shrugged.  "What did you want me to do?  Cower and suck my big toe?  I've seen scarier girls than him."

"That's a bad thing.  Did you date them too?"

"I had a crush on one, slept with the other two."  Adam shuddered.  "You'd have to meet them but I can't do that to anyone."

"Thank you for not endangering my life that way," he quipped.  Xander let him see the t-shirt, making him crack and laugh.  "That's cute."  He walked out giggling.   "Hi, Stella.  Did you see his t-shirt today?"

"That good?"

"That and the fact he made IA run for the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator when one tried to nag him.  Totally started a 'what were you doing' rant and Xander just shot him down and made him flee."

"That might not be good."

"Nah, it was fine," Flack assured her as he walked in.  "Kid told him about the one who wanted him to spank him during his ride-along.  He can have Aiden's rep as scary bitch CSI."

She shook her head and walked off.  "Elton, be nicer to our mental states," she called into ballistics.

"I'm fun so you can remember what happiness is when it gets too gloomy to do our job," he called back.

She smiled at that.  "Good to know."

He leaned out.  "I simply told him I did scary bitch very well in many ways.  That's why I offered to threaten them into a confession."  He went back to work once she was laughing.

"Okay, maybe you're insane but in a good way most of the time I think."

"Ask me again when I get lost in thought if I'm insane."

"Sure, I can do that."  She went to check on Mac.  "Are you all right?"

"I think he's right.  He's scarier than I am."  She giggled again, walking off shaking her head.  "He does make it a happier lab."

***

John finally got in and looked at his sons, who looked miserable.  "Concussions?"

"Xander's been waking us by phone," Sam said, yawning a bit.  "Cartoons suck right now."

"That's usual this time of day.  The car's at a nearby garage, Dean."  Dean nodded.  "I emptied the trunk into your bags before the wrecker got there."  He put them down in front of them.  "If we have to, we'll tell them it's for hunting trips."

"It's just a never-ending hunting trip," Sam agreed.  He yawned again.  "I'm tired but my head hurts too much to sleep."

"Tylenol's out," Dean agreed.  John went to get his bottle from his medicine chest but it was gone too.  John came out to go to the store.  "Thanks, Dad."  He laid down, curling up on his half of the couch.  "You'll be fine, Sammy."

"Only if the little hammers inside my head quit."  He pouted, snuggling under the blanket.  "Why is it cold?"

"Because Queens is in New England," Dean said dryly.  "They get snow up here like they do in Idaho, Oregon, and Michigan."  Sam shot him a low powered glare.  Dean just smirked.  "Ask a stupid question, Sammy."

"Shut up, that's not what I meant and you know it."

"You're cold because you're part lizard.  Mom hatched you from an egg in an aquarium."

Sam kicked at him.  "She did not and I'm not part lizard."

"Then you explain why you're always cold."  John came back.  "Tell him he's cold-blooded."

"I'm not part lizard!" Sam said more firmly.

John tossed them their bottles of tylenol.  "Go to bed, boys.  Before I make your concussions worse."  They groaned but got up.  Dean went to his room.  Sam pulled out his couch.  John grabbed the phone when it went off.  "What?"  He smiled.  "Hi, Bobby.  No, they're mostly fine.  Concussions.  Sammy's being cold-blooded again."  Sam spit at him.  "I can still paddle you, Sammy."  Sam slunk down under the blankets.  "No, it's got some good front end damage.  There's a local shop.  I scared Jose to death, Bobby."  He grinned.

"Yeah, that guy.  I put them in the boys' bags so they could quit borrowing clothes.  No, he's at work.  You did?"  He settled down to listen to his idea.  "Is it doable?"  He nodded.  "Yeah, you'd have to talk to him.  I don't think he's going to have a bad day.  They don't have any backlog at the moment.  No, yesterday he had two boys in uniform fighting in the lab that he got to help break up.  Smarted off, yeah."  He grinned.  "That's fine, Bobby.  Yeah, I'm here.  Thanks for looking.  I will once they're better.  Do you need my help?  I can leave him to them for a bit.  Sure, if you're sure.  Let me know.  Thanks, Bobby.  You too."  He hung up.  "He might have a way to break the compulsion."

"That's good.  Will it take another demonic deal?"

"Not that he's aware of."  He turned on the heater for him.  "There.  Your mother used to have the same problem now and then."   Mary's had been related to her hormones but he wouldn't tell Sammy that since Dean picked on him about being more girlish.  He moved into the kitchen to make himself lunch.  "Think you can eat?"  He heard the aborted gag and nodded.  "Figures.  We'll try that later then."  Sam shuddered and covered his head up.

"It's no fair he gets the tv," Dean complained from his room.  "Even if I do sound like I'm whining and I hate it about myself, I'm bored."

"You can come out here to curl up on the sofa bed too, Dean."  He came out to do that, flipping the channel until he found something he wanted to watch.  "Fine."

"Good luck on however Bobby figured out how to warp it, Dad.  He need you?  We can watch over Xander."

"No, he's good.  There's a problem coming up nearby that he can hand to another hunter in that area."  That got a nod.  John finished his sandwich and sat down to go through the local paper.  Really he had enjoyed hunting ghosts and things in New York.  There was a thriving culture of hauntings and people who didn't like them, plus those who loved them to annoy him.  Not to mention the demon underground he hunted in when they were being annoying and Xander heard something.  If the boy went, they'd hear and turn him in to get him off their asses.  That was not safe for them.  John looked at the real estate listings again, frowning at a few things.  "Huh.  Nicer place closer to the station up for grabs.  Fairly cheap it says."

"Look at the places that were confiscated for drugs and things," Sam suggested.  "They usually go for cheap, or the ones that got foreclosed on."

"Not a bad idea, Sammy.  Thanks for the suggestion."  He got into a list of those too, finding some very cheap ones.  Land taxes were outrageous but buying one for the cost of two years back taxes was nicer than paying a million for a one bedroom apartment in Manhattan.  No normal people could afford to live in the city.

***

Xander hung up and smiled at Hawkes since he was bringing him bullets.  "John thinks he found a nice place on tax debt auction that's relatively close by."

"That's good.  We pulled two out of a body today."

Xander looked.  "You pulled one and kibble, Hawkes."

"Well, yes," he agreed.  "Can you match the other?"

He looked at it.  "I should be able to.  Did you make these marks on the end?"  He let him see, getting a head shake.  "No teeth on your extracting pliers?"

"No.  I use padded ones to make sure I don't leave any marks."

"Cool.  That might help us then."  He grinned.  "Any other ones?"

"Not yet.  If so I'll send them up with Marty."  He left, going back down to his morgue.  He was a nice guy.  "Marty, Elton's in if you want to get his opinion on that stabbing."

"Why would I?"

"Adam said he knew something about swords."

"Really?  Huh."  He took pictures up there to him.  "Hey, got a few?"

"Yup, give me two more to type.  Bullet or otherwise?"

"Stab wounds with a long, sharp, and pointy thing."

Xander looked at him, then finished typing in his preliminary remarks, turning to look at them once they were saved.  "Hmm. Spanish dueling blade."  He handed them back, looking at the other one.  "Yeah, it's a bit thicker than a foil but still one of the thin, dancing style fighting styles.  Fairly formalized.  Like you saw on one of the Highlander movies."  He looked at him.  "The one where they flashed back to Connor and Duncan fighting."

"I remember that.  Got any idea where to get one in the city?"

"I'd start with the fencing clubs locally.  See if they'd know or if they had any members who would know.  Usually there's at least one old guy there who knows very well who to see about those things."

"That's not a bad idea.  I'll suggest it.  You're sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Like hundred percent?  They hate us and sneer when we make assumptions."

Xander held up a hand, calling home.  "Hey, John?  Do I have a Spanish fencing foil that the lab can use for comparison?  Yeah, one of those.  No?  Any idea where we could get one to compare?"  He did a fast search and came up with a name, letting him write it down.  "Thanks, John.  Yup."  He hung up.  "Go to him.  He knows swords like I know guns, or so John says and he'd know."

Marty took the address and name.  "Thanks, Javier.  You're pretty cool."

"Of course I am.  I'm a geek.  I have to make up for that in some area or another.  Just ask my exes if you could find them."  Marty walked off laughing so Xander got back to work on his badly mangled bullet.  "Why does it have pry marks?" he muttered.  He called down to the lab.  "Hawkes, something about this bullet isn't right.  Yeah, those marks.  Can I have wound pictures to look at?  Thanks."  He hung up on his saying something.  He stared at it under magnification again.  Stella brought in hers.  "I need exact distance shots."

"I have those from him.  Why?"  He let her see.  "Those are plier marks."

"Yeah and the other one's kibble."  He turned to look at the holes then back at the bullet.  "That's the wrong size hole for this caliber.  That's a twenty-two, this hole is about the same size as a forty-eight."  She sat down to look at it with him.  He pointed.  "That spot looks stretched.  Is it possible they implanted the bullets and he died another way?"

"I can ask.  The other one?"

He poured it out for her, letting her see it.  "That's oxidation.  Too much for just being out of the body.  I'd say it was a few weeks older or more.  I can scrape it to find out roughly, within months."

"Please."  She got up and gathered that.  "Can you take a picture of that?"  He snapped it on the video capture, handing her the printout of it.  "Thanks, Elton.  That might be a very important clue."  She went to talk to Mac.  "Got a few?"

"Of course.  What's wrong?"  She held up the hole picture.  He nodded slowly.  She held up the bullet pictures.  "That's not the right size hole."

"That's what he said.  The other has a lot of oxidation.  Elton thinks it's older, but look at this.  Pry marks, Mac."  He looked at the picture and grimaced.  "He thinks it was implanted into the hole.  He said this area looks stretched," she said with a point.

"Let's go look at the body again.  Maybe Hawkes has his COD."  They went to do that together.  That was strange.  "Hawkes."

"Stella," Marty said.  "I can't get Danny; it's his day off so his phone's off."  She nodded at that.  "Elton identified the type of foil used on that one body.  He gave me a name to make sure of it with.  He said the guy knows swords like he knows guns.  He's pretty sure it's a Spanish foil.  He said like you saw in Highlander Four when they flashed back to Connor and Duncan training in Spain."

"Interesting reference.  How did he get the name?"

"John knew them."

"That's good to know.  I'll take the pictures to talk to him after we figure out this bullet.  Thanks, Marty."  She patted his cheek with a smile.  Mac was talking to Hawkes when she made it over there.  "Any chance they were dropped in?"

"I did pull it round end up but some do flip inside the body as it travels," he admitted.   "I can't find another COD."

"No strangulation?  No embolism?" Mac asked.  "Nothing normal?"

"Well."  He considered it, looking at the tox screen.  "We did find a high level of insulin.  We did find a few other drugs but not enough to OD."  He let them see.  "Let me check something I didn't."  He went to look at the heart again, frowning.  "I'll be damned.  His valve is stuck."  They came to look.  "I didn't notice that."

"That was probably the point of making a hole and putting in a bullet," Stella said.  "Elton thinks the kibble one is older."

"That wound was nearly fully healed.  Probably a month or two old."  She nodded.  "This one..."  He looked at the wound tract.  "I can see that it might've been that way.  I had some doubts with how shallow it was."

"So they stabbed, pried off a bullet from somewhere, put it into the hole," Stella said.  Sheldon nodded.  "After he died of natural causes?"

"If they panicked and thought they had caused it, this would've thrown off whatever they had done," Sheldon offered.  "With that valve defect, that much viagra in his system could've killed him.  So could the insulin."  They nodded.  "Let me look a bit further for that, guys.  Thank him for me."  They nodded.  "Any idea what the bullet hit?"

"Pry marks," she said, letting him see the picture.  "Was that wound starting to heal?"

"I can excise it and see.  You think it was domestic assault related?"

"Maybe.  See if you can find something like wallboard in it?"

"I can do it."  She nodded and they left him with his mystery.  "Whoever did that nearly got you classified as a homicide," he told the body.  "Pity them when Mac talks to them."  He cut into the wound tract to look for debris and healing signs.

***

Xander walked in that night.  "Was your friend okay with Stella and Danny coming over?"

"He said he thought she was a beautiful woman.  Told her she could come pick his brain anytime as long as he got to stare at her."  Xander grinned.  "Apparently she pointed out she liked being admired for her brains more and he said of course she did, she wasn't some bimbo or a pinup girl.  Made her giggle.  He did have a reference she could use and you're right, it was a Spanish blade."  Xander beamed.  "Any other good cases?"

"One who pried a bullet out of a table to put into a hole in a dead body so it wouldn't look like his girlfriend had beaten him to death.  Which she didn't; he had a heart attack during an argument so she panicked."

"That's just strange," Dean told him from the couch.

"Aww, don't you two look like cute big puppy dogs."

"Bite...  Never mind," Sam said, hiding under the blankets.  John laughed, shaking his head.  "He did last time."

"His lizard blood taste good?" Dean asked him.

"I didn't draw blood but I can if he wants me to."  John swatted him.  "Yes, Dad."

"Thank you.  Go eat."  Xander went to get dinner, coming out to sit in his chair.  "Light day at work?"

"Only scaring the crap out of the IAB guy," he quipped.  He grinned sweetly, getting a laugh from John and Dean.

Sam looked at him.  "Won't that hurt your career?"

"He wanted to know why I offered to scare them or let Mac scare them instead of calling them.  I rightly pointed out we should tell a supervisor first and then them if nothing was done.  I told my supervisor first and offered him to threaten them instead so he didn't have to come do paperwork."  He ate a bite and moaned.  "Hot peppers."

"Thought you might be missing cajun food," John said dryly, sipping his coffee.  Xander got up to get a drink, bopping him on the shoulder.  "Anything else happen?"

"They liked my t-shirt today.  Even if Mac is making me cover them up.  It means I don't have to get GSR out of them."

"That's good I guess.  Even if some of them do give me a headache," John told him.

"I'll save those for seriously stressful days to encourage my fellow lab geeks and CSI to take a nap if they need it.  I have one in my locker to hand over in case of an emergency nap being needed."

"Do I even want to know?" John asked.

"It's one you groaned at."  John stared at him.   "My chicken and dill pickle shirt."

John shook his head to clear it.  "I guess it could be worse."

"Probably."  He grinned at the watching boys.  "I missed the smartass t-shirts I had over there."

"Uh-huh.  It's bad to give Dad a migraine.  Though, I'm thankful I have never achieved that one.  Only you and Sammy."

"You gave me plenty of headaches, Dean.  Especially when you used to try to pick up women for me as a little kid."

Xander snickered.  "I bet that was cute.  Date my daddy please so you can cook for us?"

"Or date my daddy please so he doesn't have to go to work.  Once he asked a nice lady with twin girls if she could date me so I could have daughters."

"Hey, I wanted to snuggle her.  She looked comfortable," Dean complained.

"Her husband minded just a bit, son."

"He growl at you?" Xander taunted with an evil smirk.

"Growled at Dean until I figured out he had walked off again and went to gather him and spank him for it."  Xander giggled, clutching the table.  "If you give me that sort of headache, I'll spank you too, Xander."

"Sure, I won't ask anyone I work with if they'll date you, John."  John swatted him.  "I do work with some pretty people."

"Uh-huh.  They wouldn't like the family's job."

"Good point."  He ate another bite, looking at the boys.  "Did you two get up okay earlier?"

"Yeah, you calling and blasting bad music at us woke up Sammy, who yelled until I woke up," Dean assured him.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome."

"Huh?" John asked.

"I called every few hours and put the phone next to the speaker so whoever answered it got blasted with the music."

"How did you come up with this idea?"

"I only remember a few things from the life where Willow turned me into a girl and a slayer but I did that after a battle when they were in the back of the blazer.  I turned up the country music until they complained."

John just nodded at that.  "I'm sure they would.  Eat."  Xander finished up and went to do the dishes.  Mentally he was shuddering at that thought.  A world where Xander was a girl?  And a slayer?  Eww!  And didn't that just sound like Dean's voice in his head?

Xander gave him a hug around the head.  "Remember, she can't do it to me here."

"Thank God."  Xander went back to the dishes for him.  "You two ready to eat yet?"  They both gagged this time.  "Then sleep, boys.  It'll help."  Dean trudged back to bed.  Sam slunk down more to nap again.  He shook his head, looking back at Xander.  "How often are you still getting lost in thought?"

"Most of the time it's okay.  Now and then I get a piped up comment from one of them."  He shrugged.  "Payday's tomorrow so I'm hitting the bar with the guys."

"I remember.  Be safe and call if you need a ride home."

"I can cab."

"No you can't."

"I'm a big boy."

"No you can't."  He held up the paper.  "That's the third body found in a cab this month."  That sort of psycho would be drawn to him, making them handle it, which would get his boss mad at both of them.

Xander looked then nodded.  "Interesting."  He went back to his dishes.  "Has anyone checked the intel from LA recently?  I know this is the year they're going to have major issues and we won't have a world full of slayers here."

"What?" John demanded.

Xander turned to look at him.  "In most of them, Buffy died with Glory.  Here we managed to fight off Glory without her dying."  That got a slow nod.  "Basically, someone ate her host and she died.  But since she didn't die the First Evil didn't show up and Willow didn't activate all the slayers to fight her.  Which turned Sunnydale into a hole in the ground after they blew up the Council."  That got another slow nod.  "But Angel's going to have a demonic invasion this year.  Like open portal and invade."

"When?"

"Three months."

"I can get people moving that way."

"Tell Angel that I'm okay but don't give him any more intel?"

"Of course not.  You could've told me sooner."

"I didn't think it could be stopped sooner.  But by all means, take some of the heavier stuff with you.  You'll have to bring down their building to close the portal."

"What happens if it goes down first?" he asked.

Xander shrugged.  "They can probably move the portal.  It's a small subset of their law firm for hell."

"Three months gives us time to plan.  I'll head out there next week after I talk to some others."  He grabbed the phone, calling Bobby.  "It's me.  Xander just told me to start checking LA because they're having a demonic invasion this year?"  Bobby yelped.  "Dropped your coffee in your lap?" he guessed.

Xander took the phone.  "As far as I know it's a subset of W&H, Bobby.  Yeah, them.  Open portal and let it spill.  Their building but they might be able to move the portal if we do.  I don't know.  That's good.  Yeah, of course you can.  Thanks, man."  He handed the phone back.  "April.  Sometime in April."  He sat down and looked at his phone.  "It's jammed," he decided, calling out there.  John glared so he held up a hand.  "Hi, Gunn.  No, Gunn, you do know me.  Because I used to date Cordelia and I have a head's up from a higher source."  He handed the phone over.  "Angel."  His moan came back very well.  "Your law firm has a sub-group called the Black Rose or something?  Invasion?  April or so?"

He nodded. "I'm sure you've been told what went down with Willow?"  He nodded at his 'yes, I heard'.  "All of them, Angel.  Every last one.  Only in most of them Willow had activated the Slayer line due to the First Evil.  This time you don't have that.  I know some hunters.  I'm sending them with some of the toys I had saved.  Yeah, those sort of things," he agreed when he mentioned the mall.  "Within a few weeks.  That gives three months.  I don't know.  No, I'm nowhere near there and if I show up you know we'll have the council on my ass immediately.  Thanks, man.  Yeah, look for John.  Be safe.  It wasn't a pretty thing by any means.  Tell my girls that too."  He hung up, looking at him.  "He'll be expecting you."

"That's good.  What if they're tapping the lines?" he asked.

"Why would they tap Angel?  They hated Angel.  They know I don't like Angel all that much either."

"Good point but he could have problems on his end too."

"He might.  If Wolfram and Hart think that someone's going to stop them they're not above using their germ warfare lab or their federal contacts."  That got a pained groan from Sam.  "But I remember how I got in once."  John smirked at that.  He settled in to draw out plans to what he remembered.  Two lives he had been in that building for a good, long time.   He marked everything and handed it over.  "Use what you have to."

"What if they are tapping?" Sam asked.  "If they heard you have toys...."

"They can't prove it, Sam.  Where are they going to find them?"

"Good point."

"And if I have to show up for it, I'll damn well take a few days."  That got another nod.  "But I still need to figure out how to disguise myself better if I do."

"I thought that's why you were growing your hair," John said dryly.

"I think that's the one with the hormone's life coming across.  His was waist-length."  John shuddered again.  "So yeah, we'll see."  He called his boss.  "It's me.  Head's up, and only a head's up.  I'm helping arrange things through John so LA doesn't hit the bottom of the ocean this spring.  Yes, as in.  Like an invasion by another place, Mac.  Yes, I'm serious, I haven't been drinking.  No, but some of my toys are going out there with John.  I hope I don't need to show up because I can damn well teach him how to blow a portal if I have to."  He grinned.  "April.  Yeah, so serious head's up at this point.  In case Wolfram and Hart is tapping their lines or something.  I know they have a branch locally.  I also know that they're the lawyers for hell, literally, Mac.  So we should be wary of signing anything for them.  Angel said they like soul clauses."  He nodded.

"Basically.  Because I just got the head's up from the little voice that I sucked up oh so long ago," he said dryly.  "Yeah, those lives.  Every single one.  April.  Angel will know and John's heading that way soon.  So I'll keep you in the loop, especially if we have to help it. I'm sure the National Guard will help, Mac, but not in the first few hours and most of the guys there don't know how to dismember or behead.  Yeah, those skills.  We'll see but Angel's making sure of it happening here since I know it did so many other places.  Former cohort back in high school, now a Champion for the Powers That Be.  No, they're over the hunters and those guys.  Yup, so just in case you need to know.  Once he knows I'll pass that back to you so you can warn some others if you know anyone out there who might need to take a vacation in April.  Thanks, Mac."  He hung up.  "He's going to drink dinner now."

"You did spring that on him," John said.  "Let Bobby look up the occasion and we'll talk with Angel."  Xander handed him his phone.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome.  Use some of the safe so you can set up a place to stay."  They shared a look.  "If they show up here, I'll deal with them like I would the council."

"Good idea.  How evil?"

"They've tried multiple world takeover bids."  He held his forehead as a flash happened. "Including yearly sacrificial power raising.  If you can find that and let me know I'll pass it onto the boss."  John nodded at that, moving to look it up.  "Fall power raising for some reason."

"I can find it."

"Chicago had some I think.  The flash was from the furry life and they stopped one there."  That got an evil look.  "You didn't like the furry life?  I have flashes of one of the other lives going as him to a comic con."

"Shut up, kid."

"Yes, John."  Sam snickered from his bed.  "You nap.  Or else I'll work on your shoulders for you."

"That's not a threat unless you're bad at it," Sam pointed out.  Xander came over to work the tension out of his shoulders so he could sleep, earning a light moan of pleasure for it.  "Very not bad at it," he mumbled as he fell asleep.

John smiled.  "Thank you."

"He needed it."  He went to peek in at Dean, getting waved off.  "Need one?"

"You don't have breasts, Xander.  You can't give me what I need."

Xander leaned against the door.  "It's not my fault all the other lives are gay, Dean."  Dean choked, shaking his head.  He came in to hug him.  "Calm down.  I'd never offer unless you wanted me to."  He kissed him on the head.  "Want a shoulder rub?  That's all I did for Sam."

"No thanks."  He put down his book and Xander tucked him in then went to get his own book to read.  Dean shook his head.  "Fussy bitch," he said with a fond grin.  He even went to sleep because you had to when you were tucked in by him.  Or else it was a sleep spell but he didn't mind at the moment.

John just smiled and shook his head.  Xander was a good fussing sort.  If he wasn't slightly insane and on the run, he'd let one of his boys date him.  He fussed worse than his wife had.  Everybody deserved a fussy mate that drove them nuts.

***

Xander walked in the next day and found ATF agents in there.  "Guys, problem with the case?"

"Someone was tapping your former friend's phone," Mac told him.  "My office."

"Going."  He walked in and saw another one.  "Ah, Wolfram and Hart."  He pulled out his cuffs and cuffed him to the chair, then searched him until he found what he wanted, handing it to Mac.  "Magical listening device."  He stared at him.  "Do you have any idea who I am?"  He shook his head.  "Good."  He smirked.  "Very good."  He looked up.  "Can I have a minute to scare the crap out of him and not influence anyone else since you don't have windows that open?"  They left, watching from the hall.  Xander let his hormones go up, making him sweat.  "You are going to leave me and mine alone."

"How are you doing that?  You're Quarth!" he accused.

"No, I have the same hormone condition and I will let it rip to enslave your whole board," he sneered.  "I could use some good slaves to do things like clean my house."  He lowered them and stared.  "Are we clear?"  He nodded quickly.  So Xander walked over to turn on the fan and let them back inside.  "I'd leave the door open for a bit and let Hell's Lawyer here go to booking to confess."  He stared at him.  "Am I clear?"  He nodded quickly.  Mac had him gotten by Danny.  "Watch out for him.  Some of them have sacrificed people in the past."  Danny shuddered.  He looked at the agents.  "This cannot and will not get out," he said quietly.  They nodded.  "I am also known as Alexander Lavelle Harris, from Sunnydale.  The one the Watchers Council wants to kill for helping Buffy Summers and for a friend's goof.  I was there when the Initiative was taken down.  It was my plans at graduation."

One sat down, gaping in horror.  "I remember the Initiative fiasco's clean up, sir.  Why are you here?"

"The people over girls like Buffy want my ass dead.  Dissected while living and then dead actually is how they order reads.  The redhead with us?  She goofed badly and gave me memories from other selves across the many other planes and realms.  So yeah, now and then I get lost in thought when they nag.  Mostly because I'm trying to date."

"The artillery you have?  We heard you had some out there and I'm assuming you didn't sell it for safe passage or money."

"Safely stored in case of an apocalypse like is coming in LA.  In every single one I have memories of, LA gets invaded thanks to Wolfram and Hart's board."  Stella stomped in.  "Beautiful one, these people have stumbled into my last life."

"What did you used to do?"  He looked at Mac.  "Mac?"

He coughed.  "Let's just say at one point in time there was a rogue military group that needed to be taken down due to their ideas of torture being scientific.  Xander and the group he used to help did that.  It's only *one* of the things that could cause him problems."

She stared at him in horror.  "I handled issues, Stella.  Bad ones that most people don't want to deal with.  The same group that wants me dead now wanted me dead back in tenth grade but the bounty was too low for anyone to take it.  Then my friend goofed and I'm now target number one for them."  He looked at the ATF agent tapping into his PDA.  "If you get me hunted here I'm going to come join *your* lab so you have to protect me."   Both agents shuddered.  "What'm I listed as now?  My old sealed file made me giggle."

"Do not touch, under serious death threat.  Give help if necessary.  Allowed to have weapons, is experienced in multiple forms and some explosives," he read.  Xander nodded at that.

"You are?" Stella demanded.

"Yeah.  I used to work construction."  She glared.  "And one thing we had to handle included blowing up a high school.  It was a huge ass battle that you guys got as a gas leak."

"I remember that," she said, sitting down.  "But you're goofy and sweet and nice and have those t-shirts," she complained.  "That sounds more like some spy's file than a nice guy's."

"My friends said the same thing when they went off on their special girl, no guys allowed to help things rants now and then.  Then they hated it when they got shown up," he said dryly, glaring at her.  "I am by no means ineffective, Stella.  I simply can't hunt like I used to or else I'll get caught by the people after me."

"Hunt?  Like John does?  I did a background check on him."

"Basically only I was on the pressure point of evil out there and they brought John back to life to kill me.  There's a compulsion on him to kill me if I ever go evil thanks to Willow's goof."  He looked at the agents.  "He'll be setting up in LA to help within a few weeks."

"If we could stop them...." one started.

"I'm not sure we can.  Ask Angel.  I gave John building plans from what I remember from over there."  That got a nod.

"Huh?" Stella asked.

"No comment," he told her, giving her a dirty look.  "That's directly related to why I'm being hunted by the watchers council, Stella."

"Oh, damn, I did not want to hear that," Adam called, closing the door.

"Get in here," Mac yelled.  He came in and shut the door.  "You know about them?"

"Yeah.  I've haunted the geek sites now and then.  They do some strange stuff."

"Yes I did," Xander agreed.  "I was working with Buffy when Willow goofed."

He stared.  "Yeah, I don't want to meet your exes then, they're scarier than even Stella with PMS and no midol."  He shuddered.  "That so figures!  What happened?"

"Willow goofed.  It upped my hunt order.  The last I heard the bounty was about seventy-five grand or something."

"Wow."

"You missed a zero," Mac told him gently.  Xander looked at him.  "Three-quarters of a million, Javier."

Xander nodded.  "Figures."  He looked at the agents.  "Do we still have problems?"

"Where are you storing your artillery?" one asked.

"My sanctuary.  Which no one but the Winchesters and one other hunter can get into."  That got a nod.  "He watched me when I was healing and he knows most everything."  A file was shown to him.  "Not mine, but that's cute.  No, mine's in the Midwest.  Mac said I can't bring the toys here."

"No, he may not," Mac agreed.

"That's fine then, sir," the agents agreed.  "Is it safe?"

"The only other way in is local and it's keyed to Winchesters."

"Good."  They stood up.  "We have no qualms but let us look into LA?"

"Go for it.  Wolfram and Hart do bad things universally speaking.  John's seeing if he can find the sacrifices they've done through the years, especially locally."  Danny stomped in.  "How many bad things did he say?"

"He admitted to twenty-three tampering charges and three homicides of jurors plus a judge.  How did you know?"

"Wolfram and Hart are evil.  It's a well known fact in my former life, Danny.  If a situation hadn't come to my attention we wouldn't be having this discussion.  I'd work behind the scenes to bring them down."

"Like you are the Council?" Stella asked.

"Only when they come for me.  I know they serve a purpose but they suck ass.  That's why their weapons facility in Leeds got turned in."  He grinned at the agents, who snickered at that.  "My teacher kindly heard me talk about that."

"We heard."  They shared a look.  "Most agents hate the Council, Elton.  So do most cops that have to run into them.  We'll keep that in mind."  That got a nod.  "Try to be safe.  We think there's a hunt team that just landed in the US."

"Faith's about to get out of jail."  They groaned, going to warn the LA office.  He looked at Mac.  "As long as I'm safe, you're still my boss but I'm not giving up my smartass t-shirts.  I refuse to be that paranoid.  And hey, they'd expect me to dress ugly but I do have some matching taste and skills now."

"What did you do to him?" Danny asked.

"Let's just say now and then I can manifest a hormone condition that makes people beg.  That's why the door was open and Adam overheard something he shouldn't have."  That got a confused look.  "Dean gave me that look this morning before coffee.  I can raise my pheromone output, Danny.  I told him if his shit endangered me I'd make him clean my house and beg for me to treat him nicely."

"How?"

Xander looked at Mac.  "Go ahead."  Xander let them out again and Danny moaned when he moved closer to him.  Mac turned up his a/c in his office so it'd clear it out.  Xander concentrated and they went back down.  "That's only one side effect of the goof that got him hunted, Danny."

"That's a strong side effect," he said, giving Xander a funny look.

"That can get my ass kidnaped as a concubine.  So I keep it down most of the time."

"Good!  I like that idea."

"Go clear your head and ask him if he helped with any of the power raising sacrifices.  They work for hell."  Danny went to do that.  "Adam?"

"We're still good, Javier."  He grinned.  "But it does explain *a lot*."  Xander nodded.  "Especially why you're a gun geek."

"Oh, well, yeah.  And artillery and swords and crossbows and axes," he said dryly.  "Speaking of, anyone you know in LA?"  They all nodded.  "If I'm right, and the memories have been, then this spring LA is going to have critical level problems."

"An apocalypse?" Adam whimpered.  "There?  It's a city, not Sunnydale."

"Wolfram and Hart is doing one."

"Bad?"

"Only if you consider an invasion bad," he quipped with a grin.  "Probably April if the agents can't stop it."

"Sure, I know some techs.  I'll warn them to be on their toes because of your friend Angel saying there's an upcoming threat.  A few of them out there know about him."  He looked at his t-shirt.  "No smartass remark?"

"I couldn't get into my closet.  Sam wouldn't let me.  He said I gave him a headache this morning so I had to be a normal person again."  Adam walked out laughing.  He looked at Stella.  "Hi."

"Hi," she said, standing up.  "You don't use that in the field?"

"No, I only use it on evil things.  Otherwise I'd be kidnaped and used horribly, probably castrated, and spend the rest of my life on a leash in some harem motif room."

"Good.  What can you *really* do?"

"You know what I can do, Stella.  If I'm noted looking at other things they'll track it back to me.  You can come ask me construction questions if you need to.  Some antique and archaic weapons, but I was grunt and planning support."  She nodded, giving him a pat on the arm before leaving.  "I'm sorry I turned your lab into a drama sink, Mac."

"No you're not," he said with a smile.  "Otherwise you'd be working with Horatio in Miami."

"True.  Is Speed okay?"  Mac gave him an odd look.  "Sometime soon his gun's going to jam and he'll be killed."

Mac dialed down there.  "Horatio, Mac Taylor.  You know that situation I warned you might be impacting you if I had to send him down when his life was threatened up here?  No, he just heard that Speedle has a problem with his gun.  He thinks that someone will be using that against him soon.  Like killing him, Horatio, not suspending him.  Yeah, you might want to ride his ass on that if he's got a known problem.  Thanks.  No, so far a few agents have found out but they hate the people who hate him so it's all good.  Sure, let me know if you need more help.  No, he came to me last night about a problem some of his contacts said might be going in LA in April.  So we've been talking with ATF agents.  Thanks.  Oh, watch out for a law firm called Wolfram and Hart?"  Xander nodded.  "They're supposed to be part of the bad thing that's happening in LA in April.  Apparently they want to rule the world somehow.  No, they're serious."

"Did he hear about LA's last problem?  That was them too," Xander said quietly, sitting down.

"He said last year's problem in LA was them too, Horatio.  If you have a branch, watch out for them.  He's heard human sacrifice rumors and is having someone look into them for him.  Please do."  He smiled.  "You have a better day, Horatio."  He hung up.  "He's going to check his gun right now, Xander.  He said it jammed last month from not being clean."

"That's why he died in the jewelry store," Xander agreed.  "It wasn't clean and suspects surprised them.  I don't want anyone to have to hold their friend as they bleed out on their lap."  He stood up.  "So I'm still working, right?"

"Yes.  And you have a few.  A drug dealer got busted with about ten guns."

"Cool.  How's Chad?"

"He'll be back next week, after some mild PT for his leg."  Xander grinned.  "Then he'll take overnight for you."  That got a nod and Xander went to work.  Mac leaned back.  The more he knew the kid the more he liked him.  And John wasn't such a bad guy either.  Even if he was a hardass, overprotective sort over the boy.  He clearly needed it.  He went to see Adam.  "Can I see what you know?" he asked quietly.  Adam wrote down a web address, username, and password for him.  "Thank you."

"Don't use PD resources.  They're monitoring it recently."

"Of course not."  It went into his pocket and he went to do it from his phone.   The dossier was very good.  And yes, he would be keeping Xander from dating women.  He could use more gay officers to make the lab look progressive and liberal.  Especially if any of his exes showed up here to get with him again.

***

John showed up a few weeks later in LA, walking into the Hyperion.  "You must be Gunn.  John Winchester."

"I heard you were coming out.  Why?"

"Information came to a friend of your and mine through a higher source."

"On?" he prompted.

"The invasion we think you guys have coming in a few months."

Gunn shuddered.  "Invasion?"

"As he put it, open portal and invade."

"Angel?" Gunn called.  He came down the stairs.  "This is John Winchester."

"I know."  He shook his hand.  "Is he actually sane?"

"Now and then they nag him about things, mostly wanting to date girls since all of them were apparently gay, but mostly."  That got a nod.  "He's found something he loves to do thanks to them.  It lets him use his skills every day he works.  He gets to hoard smartass t-shirts."  Angel smirked at that, nodding some.

"Who?" Gunn asked.

"Xander," John said quietly.  Gunn moaned, leaning against the chair's back behind him.  "I got brought back to take him out but Willow warped the compulsion so it has to be justly done."  He looked at Angel.  "Speaking of, while I'm here, can you set me up to talk to someone roughly the power of a high level sorcerer?  A friend thinks he may have found a way to wrap the compulsion or take it off fully."

"I know a few."  He waved a hand.  "Let's talk."  He led him to the office.  "What does he know for sure?"

He handed over the sealed letter.  "That's what he got from multiple other hims.  Unfortunately most of them had a lot of extra slayers thanks to Willow having to activate them to fight the First Evil, which we managed to avoid by having Glory die sooner."

Angel opened the letter to read, going over what he knew there.  He frowned, going to the other accounts.  "Damn it.  Gunn?  Get Wesley?"  He looked up at him.  "It's not sounding good."

"He gave me some of his gear to take the place of the slayers.  He said once it opens, take out the portal and then the building."  That got a nod.  "Then deal with the mopping up.  He did suggest seeing if any of the local hunter tribes or the other demons might want to help take them out.  That it'd endanger them too."

"It could," he agreed.  Wesley and Gunn walked in.  He handed over the letter.  "What the annoying one saw in his other selves."

Wesley sat down to read it, grimacing.  "Oh, dear Christ," he muttered.  He looked up at John.  "How is he?"

"Mostly fine.  He's still forgetting to eat and sleep now and then.  He'd like to date but I nearly shot the succubus that was trying to get into his pants.  I left my boys there for a bit to make sure he's all right until they come out to help."  That got a nod.  "I've had a lot of work cleaning out some of the annoying things in New York."

"We've heard," Angel told him.  "Nice work with the Einsten ghost."

"She was a pain in the ass," he agreed.  "Felt good to salt and burn her."  That got a smile.  "Works every time."  He looked at Gunn.  "He suggested I should talk to you about finding somewhere relatively decent enough with security to park myself and any hunters that're coming in to help since I've got cases that need to be stored safely."

"Cases?"

Wesley looked up.  "Xander did gather some odd pieces of machinery in Sunnydale," he assured him with a small smirk.  "Mostly of the helpful sort if you're taking down something the size of Godzilla."

"Ah, cases.  I can look into that for you.  Got a budget or need somewhere abandoned?"

"I've got a budget from him."

"How did he get cash?" Angel asked.  "He wasn't making that much on his construction site.  Not with Anya sucking at his wallet."

"One of his lives was a cursebreaker who was a magical theory research nerd."  Angel whimpered.  "The night he left he went to Ethan Rayne to help him set up his sanctuary and to help him ...liquidate what he found in some places that self had looked into on the job.  Plus he figured out some minor alchemy."

Angel leaned back so he wouldn't thump his head on the desk.  "Only Harris," he muttered.  Wesley nodded.

"Alchemy?" Gunn asked blandly.  "Like changing lead into gold alchemy?  Like on the anime Fred watches?"  John pulled out one of the small gold balls, holding it up. "Damn.  They come in that shape?"

"Twenty-two carat.  It's also how he managed to make a teacher leave his first college when he found him making drugs in the chemistry lab."

"We heard about that.  The treasury agents that saved him from being killed are keeping him under lock and key," Wesley said.  He looked at Angel.  "I'll call my contacts later, see if we can verify it."  Angel nodded.  "Thank you, John," he said, shaking his hand as he stood up.  "I look forward to working with you on this."  He left, going to start the calling process.

"Give me a few hours to look around," Gunn said.  "Need help unloading?"

"He shrunk them."  He pulled the case out of his pocket.  It was a black zip case with little elastic straps holding down a lot of shrunken boxes.  "I have three others too.  As long as they come back up, we'll be okay."

Gunn just nodded.  "That's freaky."  He left to call some people he knew.

"Magic always went wrong around Harris," Angel warned him.

"Not now.  Now he can do scary things with it that make me twitch and reach for a gun," he said blandly, putting the case back in his pocket.  He heard someone stomp in and groaned.  "Feds are here."

"Wonderful."  He walked out to meet them.  "Yes, Gentlemen, can I help you with a case?"

"No, we want to talk to you about a different matter, sir.  Come with us please."

"I can't go outside yet, sorry."

"You will or you'll go in cuffs."

"I'm allergic to the sun, I doubt you want to deal with it," Angel said.  "I'd be more than happy to talk to you here if you wanted."

"You're coming," he said, grabbing him to drag him off with his partner.  "The rest of you we'll get in a minute."  They dragged Angel close to a window and watched as part of his hand lit on fire.  "What the hell!"

Xander appeared and put him out then looked at them.  "You fucking morons."  They backed up.  "Well, I guess this is an interesting lunch.  John, grab something."  He manifested his wings and glared, sending his hormones up higher.  "Kneel!" he ordered.  They knelt.  Angel knelt.  John grabbed his pistol.  "What the hell do you think you're doing?  These aren't the bad guys.  These are the people who stop the bad guys who want to use you as pawns.  So get over your asses!" he finished in a snarl.  He stepped back and let his hormones come back down.  "Why are you harassing the vampire?"

"Who're you?" one demanded weakly, staring at him.

"He saved my life once, I'm repaying the lift debt.  Who sent you to harass him?"

"We'll want a name," another man said as he walked in.

Xander looked at him.  "Are you with their conspiracy of idiocy to get your city trashed?"

"No.  We're following them because we believe they're on the take to a local law firm with federal contracts and a suspicious history.  Who are you?"

Xander looked at them.  "Wolfram and Hart were behind this?" he asked, looking amused.  One whimpered and nodded so he leaned down, letting his wings flop forward.  "Why?"

"He'll stop them.  We'll never get our end of the bargain," he pleaded.

Xander stood up with a snort.  "Too late now.  Hell, I might even work with the watchers to stop them now."  He unmanifested his wings again, staring at the new agent.  "They're puss suckers who were behind the problem last year too."  He hauled Angel up, looking at him.  "Don't go all stalker over me."

"How did you do that?"

"One of them could."  He grinned sweetly.  "I only do it to the bad guys."  John smacked him on the head.  "Ow!"  He looked back at him.  "What?  They're bad guys!"  He looked at the agents again.  "I'd beg and plead, gentlemen.  Do not make me come back to LA again.  I'd hate to have to take out those that have threatened my life."  He looked at the new agent again.  "A few years ago Angel and I were in the same business.  Now I'm retired due to a death threat by some of the people on the same side.  Supposedly anyway.  We're working on *this* year's issue since it'll be an invasion."  The bad Feds whimpered at that.  "Don't worry about me, I just popped in to help them."  He looked at John.  "Need another case?"

"No.  As long as this one works and so do the other ones."

"Sam tested it and it worked for him."  He disappeared.  "Thanks for the lunch break."

John shook his head.  Angel gave him an understanding look.  "He drove me nuts too."

"One of these days I'm going to spank him.  I really am."

Angel nodded.  "He might like that.  You never know with Harris."  John laughed, punching him on the arm.  "Can you please clean them up out of our lobby, Agent?"

"Epps.  What is going on?"  Angel went to game face.  "I knew that," he said, glaring at them.

"We're in to help with their plan to get LA invaded this spring," John said.  "I'm a hunter, young man."

"My aunt did that way back when for a while before she got too badly injured."

"Many do," John agreed.  "As far as I know the hormones will wear off them in a bit but you might want to give them a shower and put them in solitary so they don't accidentally get some attention of the wrong sort in their cells."

"I'll keep that in mind.  Who was that?"

"Someone on the hit list of the Watchers Council," Angel told him.  "We'll be spanking him for coming this way to interfere."

"He heard you got the hit team that was coming after Faith."

"He did," Faith agreed from the stairs.  "Why did he have wings?"

"Long story," Angel told her.  "Remember that information Wesley gave you?"  She nodded, coming down the stairs to look at them.  One of the Feds tried to move so she squeezed his shoulder until he whimpered and passed out.  "A bit low for the neck pinch, Faith."

"I'm not into Vulcans.  How would I know?" she asked dryly.  "That's why he had wings?"  John nodded.  "You are?"

"The one the Council pulled to take him out if he went evil.  I've been watching over the boy for years now.  Since it happened almost."

She gave him an odd look.  "Spank him more.  Really."  She looked at the new agent.  "Want help carrying them to the car?"

"I want to know more about this situation.  Him and the upcoming problem."

"Can't tell you about him.  If it slips out at the wrong time, they'll find him and try to wet works him like they tried on me," Faith told him.

"The Watchers have a three-quarters of a million dollar contract to get him so they can dissect him and then kill him," John agreed.  "He's in protective hiding working in law enforcement."

Agent Epps just nodded.  "I can understand that but someone will want to know how they were captured."

"Hormones," John said.  "Very high hormones brought them to their knees."  He just nodded at that.  "I can't tell you much more than that without endangering him.  I'm sorry."

"Are you going to be doing things that would worry us?"

"Only if we're right and there is an invasion coming.  Then we might need some help handling but we'd be doing what we had to do."

"I want a more detailed rundown on that situation.  I'll leave wing boy alone for now."  He hauled the agents up with Faith's help, letting them go out to the car.  "Thank you."

"Not a sitch," she said with a grin.  She walked back inside, staring at John.  "What the fuck happened to X?" she demanded.  "That was not like him."

"He's a bit different since he saw other versions of himself across the universes," he said quietly.  She gave him a scared look, backing up some.  "The wings came from one.  The hormones came from another.  The scary nature apparently came from this one."  Angel snorted but nodded some.  "He's mostly safe and mostly happy, Faith.  Even if I won't let him date a succubus who wants him badly."  She sighed, walking off shaking her head and moaning.  "I've done that a few times."

"Me too," Angel agreed.  "Gunn?"

"Two possible places," he said, coming out of where he had been hiding.  "Think they'll take W&H down now?"

"Maybe but I'm not sure if it'd stop it or not," Angel said.  John took the slips with a nod of thanks and left.  Angel waited until he heard him drive off to shudder.  "Harris is going to end up slipping," he moaned.

"No he won't.  That's why he's got Winchester on his tail.  You saw him warn him and John pause at drawing his gun to take him out."

"He read as evil."

"Only the wings," Faith called from the kitchen.  "The rest wasn't."

"Really?"  He frowned.  "That might explain why they're sividia wings then."  He walked off shaking his head.  "I pity the people in his present life.  A sane Harris was hard to deal with.  An insane one has to be worse."  Gunn burst out laughing once he had closed the door, he heard him, but that was fine.  He'd learn some day.  If things were going to get that bad he might have to put up with Xander in his city.  Gunn's crew would do nicely to watch over him.

***

Xander reappeared in the bathroom, as planned.  A few feet off target but only one person was in there.  "Hey, Don."  He turned on a sink and splashed his face with water then wiped it off.  His phone beeped with a text message, making him smile at the 'that won't save you from me beating you later' from John.  He put it back into his pocket and looked at his friend.  "Problems?" he asked at the odd look he was getting.  He seemed to get a lot of those these days.

"Ran out for lunch?" he quipped.

"Kinda.  Had to stop an evil minion Fed from taking out John and a few others."  He shrugged and walked out to get his soda to drink on the way to his lab.

Flack wiped his hands off and followed, stopping him in the break room.  "Isn't that *dangerous* for you?"

"They don't know who I am.  They just know I was pissed off."  He grinned sweetly.  "Like the one a few weeks back here.  They apparently wanted the invasion to take place in LA."  He shrugged.  "Who am I to judge idiot Feds who have made dark deals?"

"Maybe, but I'm guessing going to help wasn't exactly hiding very well."

"Well, yes and no.   They didn't know me.  John was there.  A few older friends saw me, but otherwise nothing new was going on.  They don't know who I am, just that I made them sorry and confess, and then the good guy Fed took them away since he had been stalking them for being bad guys."  He shrugged and opened his soda, walking down the hall drinking it on the way to his lab.  Mac got in his way so he paused, swallowing his current gulp.  "I was on lunch," he defended quietly.

"Where did you go on lunch?"

"To help Angel with the Feds that Wolfram and Hart had on the payroll out there.  They were going to arrest him and John but Angel kinda went all smoky in the sun on them.  Then we found a Fed who had an aunt who hunted and he was tracking them for being on the take and making dark deals with the law firm for hell."  He took another drink.  "I went to scare the piss outta them like I did the one in your office."

"Would that bring you into the open?"

"No.  They don't know who I am."  He shrugged.  "I'm too insignificant for W&H to take me out at the moment.  I'm not the thorn in their side.  Even if it would get them a tiny bit of working funds, they don't work with the Council.  Opposite bad ends of the same spectrum.  One's evil and pretending to be good and one's evil and quit pretending years ago."  He finished his soda and squashed the can a little bit.  "If I were my former blonde friend maybe.  That might get some notice or help some of their plans.   Unless I overtly screw with some of their plans I'm on the laugh at his troubles list for them."  He shrugged.  "And those two still don't know who I am.  Angel knows not to say anything and so does John."

"Fine.  Next time, at least text message me a warning?"

"I can do that.  I'm sorry I worried you, Mac."  He looked over his shoulder.  "Shit."  He dove, taking Mac with him into the nearest lab as the shots went off.  "They're here.  I don't know why they're here."

"One of the dirty cops turned you in for the contract price probably," Mac admitted.  He sent out the SOS that shut the lab before they ducked out of sight into another hallway.  He waved at the techs, making them run in a different direction.  Xander headed for ballistics but they were by that door.  "Come on."

"I only have the one gun," he hissed back.  He considered it and popped into his exemplar, taking out the two in there with magic, and then grabbed a few more and bullets, heading back to where Mac was hiding.  "Here, we might need these.  One was in my evidence closet.  The other was in my exemplar.  They're presently asleep."  He slapped a clip in and used the slide to chamber a round.  "I'm not happy I'm using my exemplar this way.  I'll have to clean the babies later."  Mac gave him an odd look.  "I will."  More cops came into the halls and surrounded them.  "C'mon," he muttered.  One tried to fight back.  They got him in the shoulder, making him scream as he went down.   "Two more."  He saw one coming toward them and popped up, hitting him on the leg.  "Piss drinker," he called in demon.  "Stupid ass.  Now I have to move again."  He seemed to pop off, making him swear and try to move.  Once they had him out of sight Xander reappeared, looking at Mac.  "That might help."

"Misdirection might help," he agreed, handing back the gun.  "That's in your exemplar?"

"MY exemplar," he said dryly, taking it and putting it into his waistband.  He walked that way, nodding at the SWAT guy.  "Hi, Elton, ballistics.  They stupidly were trying to get into my evidence locker and my exemplar.  Did they say why?"

"You have that death threat?"

"Yes, and unless they're Brits, it might not be them.  If so, I was justified in knocking those two out to get more guns."

"How?"

"I'm amazing," he said dryly.  "And not the average nice guy."  That got a nod. "I had many mentors with military training, let's put it that way."

"That's probably saving you.  Any idea why they want you?"

"They're idiots and when a friend messed up they decided I hold some secret to the universe.  Are they Brits?"

"Only one.  The others are hired."

"Mercenaries, nice.  Are they the ones that were in my evidence?"

"Probably.  Did you get the one in the leg?"

"Yup, sure did."

"That one is Brit.  We'll see, Elton.  Where's your supervisor?"

"He's checking the other techs and for other damage."  He ran a hand through his hair.  "I'm so going to destroy them for this."  The officer laughed.  "Last time they tried me I turned in their apocalypse vault in England."  The officer quit laughing.  "They hunt vampires and do that sort of research."

The officer shook his head.  "We'll take that into account.  Did you do anything else?"

"I pretended to disappear on that one so he thinks I left the area.  Let them search the rest of the world while I'm here playing with guns."  Stella rushed in.  "They hired mercenaries to come get into my evidence locker and exemplar."

"Are you missing any?" she demanded.  He went to look, checking the ones he had on him.  "Well?"

"Three."  He pulled up his list to get their specifics and serial numbers, handing them over to the officer.  "Let me check the official exemplar instead of mine."  He looked then shook his head.  "All here."  He looked at him.  "I do have the better guns so I guess that's reasonable."  He sat down, looking at the evidence locker.  "There's at least two missing from the bullets envelope tray and I can see at least one gun missing."  He picked up the box to show them.  "And it looks like another one is missing too."  He went to check against his recent case inventory, finding it for him and which bullets it was.  "Here you go.  Need it in report form?"

"No, this is good for us.  Give us time to talk to them."

"Feel free to threaten them with being eaten.  There's plenty of things that can and the Brit one, if he's one of them, will enjoy the hell out of that idea."  He grinned.  "Let me go up to the roof to throw an unholy fit please?"

"Go to the basement, it's safer," Stella ordered.  He nodded, going that way.  "Take someone with you."  He snagged Adam on the way.  She looked at him.  Then at Mac since he was stomping their way.  "How did they know he was here?"

"ATF agents or a dirty cop realized it was him and turned him in.  As far as I know nothing else could have.  Are we missing anything?"  The officer handed over the list.  "I can pull up those case files for you if you need them."

"Please.  He seemed nice.  A bit stressed."

"He spotted them and moved me since they were behind me."

"I sent him to the basement to throw the unholy fit he wanted to.  I made him bring Adam."  Mac nodded, taking the officer to his office to pull up those case files for him.  She went to check on the others.  They'd tell her when they were shaky because they wouldn't tell Mac.

Xander came back twenty minutes later still pissed and tense but calmer.  A little bit calmer.  "John told him to quit throwing a fit," Adam told Mac when they ran into him.  "That it was tweaking his issues."  He walked around him.  "He told John to bite him and why.  Apparently he's not happy."

"I'm not happy," Mac assured him.  "Let me know if anything in your lab needs fixed or got damaged."  Adam nodded, heading to check it out.  He looked at him.  "You're still safe here," he said calmly.

Xander nodded.  "I know.  Who told them?"

"I don't know yet."

Xander went to watch the interrogation, tapping on the window.  Someone came out and gave him an odd look.  He wrote down a list and handed it over.  "Their local apocalypse vault.  It's under their mostly legitimate paranormal and research oriented bookstore and that's the Watchers Council meeting area."

"They are?"

"They're the ones who have the hit out on me," Xander said simply.  The officer groaned.  "I take it you've run into the Council?"  That got a nod.  "I was in Sunnydale."  That got a single nod and he went back in there to taunt them about that.  Xander watched then looked at Mac when he came in.  "He won't break."

"He will.  Stella's going in."

Xander grinned.  "Can I?"

"No.  It's too dangerous.  They'll know you're still here."  He frowned at a dark blonde girl coming their way.  "Who is she?"

"Big ass trouble."  He grabbed her arm to pull her into the observation room.  "Cordy?  Are you descended again?  Like the chunkier highlights too."

"Only for this."  She patted him on the cheek.  "I like the t-shirts.  They're good stress relief."  She beamed.  "And yes, please get some soon, Xan."  She winked at Adam.  "They had me *so* much nicer than I am to anyone but him."  She walked in there and slammed the door, staring at the Watcher.  "Hi.  The Powers said so."  He swallowed.  "I'm Cordelia Chase.  Mouthpiece for the ones on High."  He started to shake.  A few others did too.  "They're kinda pissed."  She leaned on the table.  "I have full authority to destroy every single Watcher in existence."  She patted him on the head.

"Unless you're a good doggy."  He ran for the trash can and threw up in it.  "Aww, it's nice of you to debase yourself that way in front of me!  How good of you.  Need a doggy biscuit to settle your stomach?"  He fell down beside it, clutching it.  She walked over to snatch it and put it down.  "That's disgusting.  Real men don't play with stomach content."  She hauled him up by his ear, staring at him.  "You are *so* toasty.  You get to be my playmate.  And I did teach Xander to snark and how to play."  She took them for a minute and brought him back sobbing.  She smiled as she handed him over.  "He wants to confess before I get to keep my new doggy."

The guy nodded quickly.  "And tell you all about the one who sold him to them.  Since now he's gotta leave this town of prettiness for somewhere brighter and warmer.  But that's okay.  That means I get to go hang and tan in a bikini with him."  They all moaned.  "Now, you tell the nice officers alllll about everything or else I'll tell him everything.  Down to how you sleep with a teddy bear you molest at night."  One officer coughed.  "Oops, was I supposed to keep that secret?"   The Watcher glared at her.  "Time's ticking and I'm having fun.  You?"  He started to babble at them.  The mercenaries tried to move but she glared and they sat back down at the sight of the guns coming out of their holsters.  "I never did get what he got out of playing with guns, but hey, it's all good.  Maybe it'll encourage him to be gay or something."  She shrugged and disappeared.

"Who was that?" one asked his boss.

"Don't know, don't care, didn't see her leave anyway," he said firmly.  The others nodded at that.  "But if that boy dated her, more power to him going gay."  The watcher moaned so he made him keep going.  "I'll bring her back, boy.  Are you done confessing or not?"  He went back to telling him why they were there.  That gave them a few good targets to hunt down.  If you were NYPD you did not turn on your own unless they were dirty.  Turning in a kid for money?  That made you a good one to be hunted down.

***

Xander came in and flopped down on the couch, looking at the curious looking boys.  "John's in LA.  He's fine and settling in.  Angel was saved from W&H's people.  We were saved from the Watcher and his mercenaries invading the lab."

"Shit, dude, you all right?" Dean asked.

"No.  But they think I'm heading somewhere warm and toasty so Cordy can come visit me in her bikini."  He blinked at them.  "She got to play."  He yawned.  "I don't know what to do now."

"Now you rest, and you make contingency plans in case you do have to go somewhere warm and sunny," Sam pointed out gently.  "Take a nap.  You can eat dinner later when you get up."  Xander nodded, curling up on the couch.  Sam smiled.  "Guess that means I get his room."  Dean nodded, covering the boy then they went to check over the house and hit their rooms for now.  They'd check on him later.

***

Xander looked up at the strangled sounding "Elton" that Stella let out from up the hall.  He leaned out, blinking at the thing up there with her.  "Elton?" she called.  "Come here please?  He wants to talk to you."  At least the new problem had waited nearly a month and a half before showing up.

"Why?  Do I need one of my guns?"  The demon looked at him.  "Or Dean or Sam?"  He kept one half of him hidden so he could text the boys.  They knew how to get into the lab if something happened.  He had told John and Bobby too.   He walked out once the message was sent, coming over to look at him.  "Did you need help on a case?  Or for someone to investigate something for you?" he asked it.

It sniffed him.  "Boy smell good."

"Thank you.  I think.  Do I smell good like trash barge good or like human good?  Do I stink, Stella?"

"No, I like your aftershave," she admitted.  "What is it?"

"It's a bodyguard type."  He looked at the demon again.  "What did you need?" he asked it.

"Master say boy smell good to him too.  Need happies so he can come to him."

"I'm not going to date anyone named Master.  I'm sorry, but not my thing."

"Master say so," the guard demon told him.

Xander shook his head.  "No.  Sorry.  I don't date higher demons.  A succuba now and then but not higher demons.  Tell him thanks but no thanks."  The demon frowned, not understanding so he repeated it in a common demon language, adding more detail.  The demon nodded at that.  "Now, can you kinda go?  You're freaking people out."

"Master say stay with boy."

"I can't work if you're here."

"Master say you not have to work, except on him."

Stella blushed and coughed.  "Is he proposing?"

"No, he wants my ass as his own.  Literally.  He wants me as a concubine," he said with a grin.  He looked at the demon.  "No.  Sorry but no.  Go away before I have to get mean."

"Master say stay."

"You have to ask Mac to own me.  He owns me," Xander said suddenly.  He pointed.  "Ask him, bother him until he says yes."

"That's mean," Stella said.

"It gets him out of the hall," he told her quietly.  "That way they can talk in private."

"I guess that might help.  Mac?"  He came over, hand on his gun.  "This nice bodyguard type of demon says his master wants Xander as his concubine for smelling good."

"Master say boy be his, he smell good," the demon agreed.

"I told him he had to get you to agree so we're not doing this in the hallway," Xander hissed at him, getting a nod at that.

"Come to my office, we'll talk about you owning the boy since he's mine."  The demon nodded, following him.  He glared at Xander.  "How?"

"Incoming relatives."

"Okay.  I'll expect that."  He walked the demon that way, taking the shortest route possible.  He closed them in there and closed all but one of the blinds on his glass walls.  That one he left slightly open so he could see whoever it was sneaking up on him.

Xander called Dean's phone.  "Big, huge ass bodyguard type demon, Dean.  No, his master decided I smell good.  So I'm his apparently.  Mac's office with him."  He went back to ballistics.  "I'd suggest injecting silver but that would make him go sploosh and Mac would be mad.  I don't know.  I can't exactly shoot him in the middle of the hallway, Dean," he hissed.  He saw Danny and shook his head.  "Someone thinks I smell good and is talking to Mac about owning me."

"Can you not stay out of trouble?" Danny asked, looking amused.  "You're worse than I am."

"It's a demon," he said dryly.

"That's even worse."

Xander listened to Dean.  "Yes, them.  Please?  Thanks, guys."  He hung up and texted Mac an ETA and what was going to happen.  Then that Danny was amused.  He looked at him.  "You can go help Mac bargain to keep me if you want, Danny."

"He might try ta take me too," he said dryly, walking off to check on Stella.  "You good?"

"Kinda freaked out.  It sniffed me, said 'girl', and then 'need boy who smells good'.  I figured Elton might know how to deal with him."

"Apparently so.  He's been talking to someone named Dean."

Adam stomped in.  "Why is there slime in the hallway?"

"A demon decided it owned Elton.  I'm not sure if that's blood, urine or other biological functions.  Throw some spill powder on it and let maintenance clean it up," Stella told him.

"Why did it want him?"

"It said I smelled good," Xander said from behind him.  "Don't use the spill powder.  It'll eat a hole through the floor.  I dropped baking soda on it.  It's being soaked up and can safely be swept up in a while."  He got another soda, looking at Adam.  "It says I smell good and his master wants me to ride him plentifully."

"That's a disgusting mental image," Adam said, shaking his head quickly.  "Don't do that to me!"

"Sorry."  He took a drink.  "But anyway."  He looked at Stella.  "It's just shock, you'll be fine."

"You dated a succuba?"

"Yeah.  Once.  And a former vengeance demon.  Heard a lot about her former job."  He walked off finishing his soda on his way to the lab.  He saw Sam sneaking up the hall and pointed, getting a nod.  Sam must've been at the library.  He went to lurk that way, finding Sam had ambushed it and stuck it with a silver knife, making it howl and try to bat at him but then stop and bow to him before disappearing.  "Huh, it's not just me getting the freaky treatment."  He handed Sam the rest of his soda.  "Baking soda, Mac.  It'll eat the floor with the usual spill powder."

"Thank you, boys.  You are?" he asked.

"Sam.  John's younger son."  He shook his hand.  "If he comes back, threaten to shoot him with silver.  If his boss shows up...  Did we find out what his boss is?"

"They usually work for a class of snake demons who're fairly high up the scale," he admitted.  "Would my wings solve this?"

"Maybe, don't know.  If you have to, try it.  I'll calm Dad down."

Xander nodded.  "I can do that.  Thanks, Sam."  He gave him a hug.  "Have a better research time."

"How did you get up here?" Mac asked.

"Basement access through the morgue."  He grinned.  "Sometimes hunters have to sneak in there to handle stuff so one of us created a back passage.  We used it to get to the stairs then up here."

"We?" Mac asked.

"Dean was pausing to handle the one trying to eat an ME."  Xander took off running.  "Anyway, if they come back, threaten it with silver.  If not, try holy water.  I'll keep my phone on in case you need a further consult."  He wrote down his number.  "Call if they come back and you don't want to handle the mess.  If you shoot it, it goes sploosh as he said earlier."  He grinned and left, going to pick up Dean.  He watched as Xander helped him fight the demon.  "Shoot it."

"We can't in the building," Xander complained.  "Fuck this."  He stunned it and it went down.  Dean stabbed it and Xander took the sword to behead it.  "Fucker," he muttered, handing the sword back.  He gave him a hug too.  "Thank you for the timely rescue.  Sam scared the other one."  He walked off muttering, getting a candy bar on the way back to his lab.  He shut and locked the door, opening the drop hatch for guns to be delivered to him.  Then he sat down to eat and sulk to his chocolate.

"We'll make sure it's a good dinner later," Dean decided.  He looked at the cowering ME.  "Want us to salt and burn it for you, honey?  Or can you?"

"We have an incinerator," another ME said as he walked in.  "Oh, good, you had it.  I didn't know we had more hunters in the city."

"Our dad watches over Elton," Dean told him.

"That's a charming thing for him to do for Xander, yes."  He smiled.  They looked so shocked.  It was cute on them.  "Don't worry, we can handle it from here.  Thank you, boys."  They nodded.  "Did you get the one upstairs?"  Sam grinned and nodded.  "Good job."  They smiled and walked out.  Sid pulled Peyton up.  "Run to the bathroom, dear.  Let me handle this."  She nodded, going to do that.  "I forgot what fun being the Manhattan ME was like," he said with a smile.   "Hidden people and demons and zombies."  One of the grunts came over to help him gather the body and get it to the incinerator.  It stunk but they had some nice smelling wood they tossed in with the worst smelling stuff.  Like the zombie last year.  He went back to work, smiling at Sheldon as he came back from lunch.  "A bit of excitement but everything's fine now."

"Zombie?"

"No, a full demon.  It wanted Peyton for some reason.  Fortunately some hunters were nearby and handled it."

"Good.  Because zombies stink when you burn them."

"I put in some of the apple wood with this one."  Sheldon grinned and went to log in again so he could get back to work.  Sid went to check on Peyton but she was only shaky.  "Go home, dear.  I'm back now.  You can take some time."  She nodded, signing out so she could go home for the day.  Sid went to find his next case and get to work on them.  Such a nice set of boys like that would do their prized ballistics tech some good.  Maybe they'd even calm him down by dating him.

***

"Dude, you are so screwed this time," Dean said when Xander walked in.

"I think that's its plan," he said dryly, cracking Dean up.  "Any other cheery news, like there's an apocalypse happening here?"

"Nope," Sam offered.  He handed over a message.  "It sent you stuff."  He pointed at the bag.  "We're scared to look after we peeked and saw a marble sex toy."

Xander squatted down to open the bag, shaking his head.  He looked up.  "Not my thing, thank you anyway."  It disappeared.  "There, better.  Do we have dinner?  I got ordered to wear out the two candy bars I moped to earlier."  Dean pointed so he went to get himself a few things from the chinese food containers.  "I love you guys."  He gave them a hug and wandered to his room.  "Night."

"Night," they said, waving at his back.  They shook their heads and Dean nudged Sam.

"Quit that."

"Shut up, jerk."

"Make me, bitch."

"You guys can use your dad's room but if he smells that you had sex in there he's gonna blame me," Xander called from his room.

Sam gaped at the doorway then burst out cackling.  "Not into that, sorry, Xander.  He's too used to breasts."  A book flew out.  "Where did you get that?" he demanded.

"It appeared on my workbench.  That's why I had *two* moping candy bars."

Dean picked up the book on gender reassignment spells and lit it on fire, putting it into the bigger ashtray to watch it burn.  "That takes that bad idea away before I end up with breasts."

"You'd play with them all day," Sam taunted with an evil smirk.

"Maybe but then we'd never get anything done.  Dad would be really pissed.  That would be one of the best ways for the demon to get itself destroyed."

"Yeah, that vendetta hunt would probably take more time than the last one did," Sam agreed.  "Better you than me though."

"You're the one who goes all girly and shit," Dean reminded him dryly, giving him a dirty look.  "That's why you're the family's bitch."

"You say some of the sweetest things," Xander said, coming out to get more.  "Kiss your brother with that mouth, Dean?"  Dean spluttered.  "Does he enjoy it, Sam?"  Sam spluttered.  He grinned.  "Good.  Now I feel like one of the family."  His phone beeped with a text message.  "Dad said to quit picking on each other."  He tossed it at Dean.  "Let me know if I get a call out and put it on the charger for me?"  He grinned sweetly and went back to his room.

"We knew you were wrong in the head, but that's worse than usual," Dean called after him.  He sent one back to his father that it was Xander's demented mind doing it, not them.  He got back a 'quit picking on Sammy too, Dean,' and put it on the charging cord so they could search for the bug his father had planted.  He had to have one somewhere since he had heard them.  Not even parent special hearing was strong enough to hear them from the other coast.

***

Xander blinked at the shove he got the next morning.  "Call in?  It's my day off," he complained, pulling the blanket over his head.

"The demon came back.  This time with stuff."

Xander pulled the cover down to look at him.  He took the phone and called Mac's.  "Get that IAB guy in there since that would be considered a bribe.  Because if anyone's more stubborn than you and can talk down to people doing bad things, he can, Mac."  He hung up.  "I don't want to know why there's two."  He pulled the covers over his head again.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Welcome."  He went to the kitchen to laugh, leaning on the counter.  "He said to call internal affairs to tell the demons off this time."

Sam shook his head while he took a drink of coffee.  "That's an original thought but they could probably use the evil time."

"Probably."  They shared a smirk and burst out laughing.  Dean texted that to his father, who sent back a growl.  "Oops, time difference."

Sam looked.  "No, he heard."  He smirked.  "He probably bugged Mac's office too."  He took another drink and got some more coffee, handing Dean his refilled cup.  "Wonder what happened to the last one?"

"Dad said it was fancy trash and tossed it out a window when it scalded him once," Xander called, stumbling out to get something to nibble on his way back to bed.  "Day off.  Be up later.  Giggle fits then."  He slammed his room door.

"Cute boxers," Dean called after him.

"Thanks, big brother."

Dean smirked.  "We'll have to initiate him as a real Winchester."

"Don't make him go play naked in the woods on the full moon, Dean.  Remember how you couldn't sit for a week after you did that to me?"

"Well, yeah.  I still say Dad overreacted.  It's not like there was a werewolf out there or something.  Only a little plant demon and one coyote."

"That you made try to bite me on the ass, Dean."

"Yeah, so you couldn't accidentally knock up some girl in high school, Sammy.  Really!  How many times did we have to have the birth control talk with you?"

"I learned it the first time," he complained, starting to scowl.  "You're the one who had the girlfriend with the oops."

"Glad that turned out to be the flu."  He sipped his coffee, watching Xander's door.  "Think we could get him to do it anyway?"

"They might like him and come play."

"Yeah, they could."  They shook their heads.  That was too mean to the semi-adopted little brother.  Their dad would really kill them for that.  Dean's phone beeped with a 'don't make me beat you for going evil, boys' text.  "Man, now he's telepathic too.  We've got to cure that one."

Sam smirked.  "You're the one with the thoughts that shouldn't be aired in public."

"At least I still have a sex drive, Sammy."

"I have plenty, Dean.  I'm simply more picky than anything with a nice ass and big breasts."

"Hey, mine have to be clean too," Dean complained.

"Yeah, after Dad shaved you when you got crabs that once."

"That was from the nasty motel sheets," Dean defended.

"Uh-huh."

"It was.  I hadn't had anyone in a week and Dad got 'em too.  We don't know how you didn't."

"I wore more clothes to bed than you two did."

"Good point.  Back then you were jammie boy."

"Some day I'll turn your kids into one."

"Can't happen, Sammy boy.  I'm snipped."

"Since when?" he snorted.  "I remember seeing plenty of your biological contribution in the showers of the motel rooms when we were younger."

"Every since I thanked God that it was the flu.  I didn't want to go through that again.  I can have it reversed if I want to but I'll be damned if I'm going to have to start praying for a bad case of the flu ever again."

Xander opened his door to look at them.  "Then I'd clean up the bathroom better, Dean.  Because you're still putting out too much stuff to be fully snipped."  Dean moaned, shaking his head.  "We can check if you want."

"No thanks.  Unless you want me that way?"

Xander smirked.  "I could call up those memories if I wanted to."  Dean blushed.  So did Sam.  "Can I nap or do you two want to go back to your baiting and foreplay in there?  Because if you use the kitchen, you're cleaning it.  I was taught to find biological deposits on any surface just from looking, guys."  Dean spluttered.  Xander closed the door.  "Have fun if you do.  I can put on music so you don't keep me up."

"Not happening.  Go back to sleep, you're getting warped again," Sam called.  He shook his head.  "I think he enjoys doing that to us."

"He probably does.  I would if it wasn't being done to me," Dean complained.  Sam snickered.  "Phone book?"  Sam handed it over from next to the phone. "Thanks."  He found the number for the local fertility clinic and called them.  "Hi, I had myself snipped when I was eighteen and I think it grew back.  How would I get that checked?"  He listened.  "I can do that, yeah.  Many times a day."  He nodded.  "Do I bring in a sample when I find one?"  She gave him a name recommendation, letting him find it in the next page's listings.  "Got him.  Thank you, ma'am."  He hung up and went to the bathroom first to take her suggestion.  It was an easy way to see if he was putting out more little Dean swimmers.

Sam snickered, leaning on the counter.  That was too funny.

"Damn it," Dean called five minutes later.  He came out to get the phone book so he could call that doctor.  He was not going to go through another pregnancy scare ever again.  Sam howled in laughter but he could ignore him.  He really could.

***

Mac Taylor looked over as the Internal Affairs captain walked in. "Hillbourne, why did they send you?"

"Because the one your boy talks down to is gone," he sneered.  "What's this?"

"These two beings want my ballistics tech.  They're trying to bribe me and him to make me give him up."  He saw the horrified look.  "Elton rightly pointed out bribes are your area and I'm having no luck.  It's this or I have to redecorate my office after I shoot them and that's no guarantee that they'll stop."

"He doesn't want to go to them?"

"No.  He told them I owned him and then called in a hunter he knew to handle the taller one.  The other one is new and doesn't seem to speak English at all."

Hillbourne looked at them.  "It is illegal to own people."  The demon who knew English laughed at that.  "Especially an NYPD officer."  That got another laugh.  "We humans don't appreciate being owned."

"Boy smells good," he told him.  "Master would be pleased to have him."

"Your master is full of it.  The boy belongs here, not to him," Hillbourne told him.

"He offers much to buy him."  He pushed over the bag.  "We go higher if we must.  Master say he smell good."

"Why does he smell good?" Mac asked.  "Hormones or some other reason?"

"Smells like chaos."

"That's from where he was born then," Mac decided.  The demon considered then nodded.  "You know who he was?"  The demon shook his head.  "Then why want him?"

"He's ancient by their standards.  That makes him special and skilled.  My master say smell good."

"Oh."  He sat down, looking at the other officer.  "It's interesting to note."  He texted that to Xander's phone.  Xander sent back an 'I'll be dating a succuba tonight to get rid of some of that'.  "He said he'll fix that later."

"That might help."  He looked at them.  "Officers cannot accept bribes or payment for others.  We also don't give up our people as concubines or slaves."

"Master will have him."

"No he won't."

"Does the other demon speak our language?" Mac asked.  The demon asked him then shook his head.  "Have him get someone here who does.  That way we can talk to him about this too."  He said that.  "Tell him we don't want to negotiate but we can give him good reasons to leave the boy alone."

"Hims master said he have too.  We fight over him if we must."  He pulled another bag out of thin air and put it in front of them.  "Master offers as well."

Hillbourne looked inside and gasped.  "How did you get this?"

"Master has many of that."

"There's got to be a million dollars in here," he moaned.

Mac nodded.  "The first one was jewels and things."  Hillbourne sat down.  "Now you know why I called for backup.  What do we do about this?"

"Can't the kid talk to them?"

"He's more likely to kill them and then I'd have to redecorate.  I doubt I can get it approved by the higher ups."

"No, probably not."  He looked around then at him. "I see you took something down?"

"Just in case," he agreed.  He hated this guy but he was trying to help.  "Is his translator coming soon?"

The speaking one said that to the non speaking one.  "Him say he is honorable by coming himself to get the boy instead of sending someone who can speak better."

"I can't negotiate with a person who doesn't speak my language.  It's honorable of him but annoying," Hillbourne said.  The demon translated that, getting a nod.  Another, smaller, demon showed up.  "You speak good english?"

"I speak very good English," he said in Chinese.

"No, we need someone who speaks our language," Mac ordered.  The smaller demon disappeared and a young man with glasses appeared. "I'm assuming you speak English?"

"Of course I do," he sneered.  "Who are you?"

"These two are trying to negotiate to buy my ballistics tech.  We can't seem to get the word no across to them," Mac ordered.  "They brought you to translate."  He looked him over.  "Are you a Watcher?"  He smirked and nodded.  "Good. The smaller one doesn't speak English, the other speaks some.  Tell them humans are not for sale."

He turned to look at the demons, speaking in the formal language they all learned.  They stared at him like he was insane so he said it again.

Xander appeared in a flash of sparkles in his pajama bottoms.  "Your pronunciation sucks since you just told them to eat the fish and party with the worms."  Thankfully he had a small disguise on.  Not that this guy was going to be allowed to remember seeing him.  Even John had agreed that a bit of memory tampering of watchers was okay.  He looked at the demons, dropping into the common tongue he knew.  "I am not for sale.  I do not sleep with demons above the succuba class."

The one who spoke english looked at him.  "Smells like chaos."

"I know that.  I'll be having her suck that taint off later."

"Very old means very skilled."

Xander gave him a confused look.  "I survived so long so I'm more wanted now than when I was younger and prettier?"  The demon nodded.  "Why?"

"Survived so long means more powerful.  Much status to master."

Xander nodded once.  "I can see that but I'm still not for sale."  The demon added another bag.  The non-speaking one added two more to his offer.  "No, we will not start a bidding war.  I'm not allowed to take bribes!" he said hotly in English.  "I don't want money or jewels.  I want to be left alone!"

"Master say you his.  We fight this other demon later for control of you."

Xander looked at Mac, who shrugged.  "I've been trying," he admitted.  "He's been trying."

"Tell him he has to pay each member of the lab and any protectors you have at least ten million each," Hillbourne said.  "That might discourage it."

"The one on the right can make gold."

"Oh.  Didn't know that.  Though I heard you can."

Xander grinned sweetly.  "It got the drug making teacher out of the school."  He looked at them again.  "I'm still not for sale.  If you keep annoying me I'll have to retaliate and destroy all of you."  The demons laughed.  "I can do that."

"Xander, would those things on your back help?" Mac suggested.  "Would they respect that?"

Xander shrugged, texting that suggestion to Sam and John, who both sent back a 'try it'.  "They said to try."  He let them manifest, making the watcher nearly pass out in shock.  "Shut up before I turn you into the toad you are."  He looked at the awed demon.  The non-speaking one touched one wing and backed up, bowing.

"Sividia," the other said, bowing as well.  "We are sorry to insult you.  We did not know."

Another appeared and knocked the watcher dead with a fist to the back of the head.  "This is very interesting."

Xander looked at him.  "I remember you from that place.  You were Cordain's third-in-command."

"I am here as well."

"So you know about the spell?"

"We felt her doing it and thought it would be a good idea to temper her ambition and power.  We had no idea she would pull you in," he offered when Xander growled.  He looked at the demons.  "Begone, none of you are high enough to rate the offspring of a Sividia."  They disappeared.

"Make them take the bribes," Hillbourne ordered.

He called that but nothing happened.  He shrugged.  "Can't do that.  I'm all powerful but they're seeing it as a tribute probably."  He looked at the boy.  "That was a bold risk."

"I had to try to discourage them somehow since nothing else was.  I'm sorry if I offended or horrified anyone on the council.   I know I don't fully feel like a full sividia."

He touched the edge of a wing, making Xander moan.  "No, you feel more like a half or a quarter of us.  An offspring.  Which is probably useful for you."  Xander nodded.  "You need preened."

"I need to pounce someone too but I can't do that.  I might find a nice succuba later on to take some of that taint out of me and ask her to."  He felt a finger touch his wing.  "Don't!  Those are highly sexual organs and I'll have to pounce someone," he said, sounding almost hysterical.  Mac's fingers moved away very quickly.  "Thanks, boss."  He looked at the demon.  "How do I stop this?"

"I don't know.  We're all amused that you ended up partially sane."

"I'm mostly sane, it's just now and then they nag me and things."

"Good point.  You're doing better than expected at any rate."

"Huh?"  Hillbourne asked.

Xander looked at him.  "I have these and the death threat against me because my best friend ever goofed on a spell and somehow drew me in to merge slightly with my other selves in other realms."  Hillbourne shuddered.  "They're in the back of my head nagging me, mostly about dating things.  And yes, they like the succuba idea," he told Mac.

"If it'll help, go for it as long as you don't end up with an STD or in the hospital."

"I'm not that desperate."  He looked at Hillbourne again.  "I can see the question, ask."

"What happens if you get lost talking to them and someone notices?" he demanded, standing up.  "We can't have a member of the lab found to be insane."

"Now and then I get lost in thought arguing with them but most of them were warriors at some point in time.  They know when to stay down and out.  Especially since three were CSI."  That got a nod.  "I can hide it; unless a defense attorney directly questions me, all I have to say is now and then I have deep thoughts that make me get stuck for a few hours, hence me forgetting to eat and sleep."  He turned back to the demon.  "I need to ask a question."  He moved closer to whisper about John's compulsion and how he thought it might be warped or broken.  "Can I do that?"

"You would need your other life's powers."

"Can I send him there temporarily to have that me fix it?  He'd hate it."

"No.  We cannot allow the realms to be breached like that."

"Am I still connected to them?"

"No.  You basically downloaded it and your mind is still processing or unzipping the download now and then, young one."  He smiled.  "Though we did have one who saw what you did when it happened, as a vision, and he said you do that one credit."  Xander grinned at the compliment.  "I'll see if one of the highers will help.  It's not like we like the Council."

"Even if we could loosen it some so John doesn't reach for a gun whenever I hit on someone?"

The demon laughed.  "That would be helpful for you.  Not many of us want to bother that one again.  He has a temper."

"So do I," Xander assured him.  "Messing with the family will get mine in your face.  I'm more creative now."

"I realize that and so do the others.  That is unnecessary."

"Just stating a point."

"Good."  He smiled and patted him on the head.  "Unmanifest them."

"I'm guessing the beep was John asking why they were out?"

"Indeed."

"Do you guys like the invasion thing coming?"

"No.  That is not our doing."

"Can you maybe help them a little bit?" Xander suggested.  "Please?"

"We can see where we can meddle.  It is not fruitful for our plans for LA to fall."  He looked over the boy.  "You will make it somehow."  Xander grinned and relaxed.  "We will make sure they think you have left the field and the US.  That way they quit bothering our plans."

"Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I will tell Cordain that it is what it is and about you.  Perhaps he'll share a concubine or something."  He disappeared.  "I talked with the cursed one," he told his boss, making him drop his pen.  He sent over the whole incident in a thought, getting a thoughtful look back.  "Can we ask if anyone would lessen that compulsion without asking for his soul?  I doubt we want him back with the problems he caused last time."

"True.  I'll see.  It might help the boy become more settled."  He smiled.  "That's good work.  What of them?"

"He reads as an offspring.  They will not bother him again.  I even got to remove a watcher from the world."

"I saw.  It was good work."  He smirked.  "I will alert the local succuba up there to hit on the boy and preen his feathers for him."  The lower demon nodded and left to go back to his own duties.  He sent that information where it needed to go. The boy could plan and that would work if he was a full sividia here but they would not mimic that problem he had the last time.  They didn't need the headaches that boy had given hell.

***

Xander looked at Mac.  "That should solve that once and for all.  I'm sorry they bothered you, Mac."

"No, I'd rather stop that than have to replace you because you got snatched one day."  Xander grinned and gave him a hug before looking around.  "Do something with those bags."

"I don't want 'em.  That would be a bribe and a bad thing."

Hillbourne let out a dry, painful sounding chuckle.  "I want to forget today."

"Tequila," Xander said slowly and clearly.  "It helped me handle the memories that got shoved into my head for nearly a whole week.  I don't remember a thing of it."

"I might try that cure when I leave.  Technically it can't be counted as a bribe."

"I still don't want or need it.  Give it to the lab or the PD.  Or whatever."

"Donate half to the PD's charities and take the rest," Hillbourne ordered.  The boy pouted, making him feel miserable.  "They might come back if you don't take some of it.  So take half and donate half.  I can get that cleared."  Xander sighed, sitting down to sort.  "We can't do jewels, kid."

"Have an auction or take them to Jewelry Row.  They're nice enough.  I have plenty at home."  Hillbourne gave him a horrified look.  He grinned.  "Another was a cursebreaker.  I went to do some tomb raiding so I had a hiding my ass safely fund."

"How loaded are you?" he demanded quietly.

"I have about eighty mil in the local bank plus my sanctuary house has a small vault in it with some ready cash and the other stones I have."

Hillbourne swallowed.  "Take it and go."

"No way in hell."

"Pay for a really good set of hookers to wear you out so they don't come back."

"Succuba are cheap and like it more."  He shrugged.  "Even if John would want to shoot me for it."

"John?" Hillbourne asked.

"The dead British guy's people are the one with the death order on me.  They brought John back to life with a compulsion to kill me for supposedly being evil for being like this."  Hillbourne's mouth flopped open.  "So far he can't because I'm not evil."  He shrugged. "This I would count as evil."

"It's not," Mac said calmly.  "Take it and go, kid.  Give it to John."

Xander pouted.  "He'll spank me."  He went to find John and bring him back from LA.  "Here, you tell him.  And yes, the demon said I could play with succuba because it'd take the hellmouth taint," he told him.

"I will beat your ass," he told him.

"If I don't, more will sense the hellmouth taint.  They said I'm older than the average one who escaped so I'm more wanted.  That's why they wanted me."

John grimaced.  "One.  And only one," he ordered.

"Okay.  The sividia who came to help said they could preen my feathers too."

"I don't need to know," he said dryly.

"Yes, John."  He gave him a hug.  "He knew how to weaken it," he said in his ear.  "He'll see if anyone can do that for you without asking for anything."  He pulled back to look at him.  "Also, LA?  Screwing with their plans majorly."

"So we might get help?"

"Yup."

"Good."  He patted him on the back.  Then he looked at Hillbourne.  He looked like a Fed.  "FBI?"

"Captain Hillbourne, Internal Affairs."

"Nice to meet you.  Is he in trouble?"

"Just take it and go," he ordered.  "Donate half sometime this year, Elton."

"Yes, sir."  He looked at John.  "Want the bags?"

"No."  He stared at him.  "Why would I?"

"They left them as a tribute," Mac said.

John looked at the bags then at him.  "Bidding war?"  Xander groaned but nodded.  "Give them to Dean.  Let him play with them since he likes it."  Xander mumbled something, getting a swat for it.  "Be more respectful in front of your superiors.  You don't want to seem surly and insubordinate."

"Yes, John."  He took them with him back to the apartment.

"Sorry," John told them.

"We both want to forget today," Mac said.

"At least it wasn't an invasion."  He grimaced but disappeared, heading back to his apartment via Willow's spell.  He looked at her.  "Did you not bind yourself, girl?"

"No.  It might make the hellmouth open again," she told him. "It could destroy me and the town."  She had gotten him back because she wanted to ask him how her friend was and he was being a big grump to her.  It wasn't fair.

He knocked her out.  Then he got a drink on his way to find the book he needed.  Once he had it, he and Willow took a little road trip to bind her to the hellmouth for good.  It'd control her.  It'd help her.  It'd knock her on her ass if she screwed up again.

Mac looked at Hillbourne.  "You go drink, I'll get the body cleaned up.  You do the paperwork and send it to me for me to pass up?"

"Deal," he agreed.  He walked out to go get drunk.  Tequila sounded like a good idea after that.  He sneered at Danny.  "Not even you give me ulcers like that."

"The one who wanted him come back?" he taunted.

"Both of them.  Help the boy count the cash he'll be donating."  He headed down in the elevator, going to the nearest cop bar - they'd protect him if they came back while he was drunk.  And maybe to church later on if he could manage to wobble that way while drunk.

Danny went to check on Mac.  "Want me to call the ME?"

"I already did.  Thank you," Mac said quietly, drinking down another painkiller.

"Two?"

Mac moaned but nodded.  "Two who decided he was tainted and above average age so there had to be something special about them.  They were convinced to give up."  He looked at him.  "He'll be wearing that out later."

"Probably a good idea.  What happened to him?"  He pointed at the dead body.

"A higher thing showed up to help when he had to go off on the two who wanted him.  He killed him with a fist to the back of the head for being a watcher."

"Good."  He walked off, going to tell the ME that since Sheldon was on his way up with his kit.  Then he went to get a drink from the machine.  He'd get drunk later.

***

Xander landed in the apartment.  "John agreed I can go play with a single succuba tonight."  He turned.  "Isn't this my apartment?" he asked the guy in there.

The man stood up and came over to him.  "You are not what we expected."

Xander gave him a confused look.  "Who the hell are you and where are Sam and Dean?"

"They're at home.  You're in between at the moment, Harris."  Xander changed his stance, arms going over his chest, feet shifting further apart for balance in case he needed to fight this threat.  "I only need to talk to you."

"I'm not going evil, no matter who thinks I am."

"That's good to know considering I'm on the same side you are."

"You're a Power?"

"No, I'm a higher authority," he said dryly, staring at him.

Xander shrugged.  "Okay, and what do angels want with me?"

"Samuel's curse."

"Taint," he corrected.  "I removed most of it in one of those worlds."

"Okay, his blood taint."  He looked him over.  "He must not use it."

"Talk to Sam.  I'm not his keeper.  John's mine."

"You're in similar situations."

"I realized that long ago.  And?  If Sam's using it I'm sure he's using it with good intent and for the good fight."

"Perhaps but using evil gifts to do good is still using evil gifts."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, but sometimes you gotta use their methods to beat them or you lose.  Because evil is more creative than good.  It's an inherent weakness if you're too good.  You're constrained from doing certain things that would make sure you win.  That's why a lot of knights died through the centuries."

"Very true.  Still, we need someone to talk to him."

"Then talk to the boy.  Or talk to Dean.  I don't know them that well.  All I have are memories Sam doesn't share," he said more quietly at the look he got given.  "I'm not even sure if I could replay the good parts anymore.  We're not like we were there.  My soul aches each time I run into one of the ones I had in them."

"I understand."

"I doubt it.  Unless you were here?  Had soul-deep mates in a few lives?"

"No, that I did not," he admitted, stepping back.  He could respect this one.  "You put yourself in the way of most of them.  You'll end up running into them."

"Did you ever see the _I Dream of Jeannie_ movie where at the end they made her give up her human life and wiped their memories of her but she went to introduce herself to them again?"

The angel considered it then nodded.  "I haven't seen it but I understand the concept.  Same thing?"

"Maybe one of them will like me like this.  Who knows.  At least they're the sort who might try to understand my fucked up world."

"You shouldn't swear."

"I have good reason to swear."

"Fine.  Tell him about that problem?"

"I can mention it but I'm not his true family."

"I know that now."  He bowed slightly, getting one back.  "Something in there is cursed."

"I know.  I had one of those lives too."  He grinned.  "Can I go?  It's my only day off in the last week and a half."

"Fine."  He sent him home with the bags, keeping the cursed thing so he could destroy it.  He doubted the boy wanted a cursed sexual aid that would keep him in slavery to it's owner.

Xander landed and looked at the boys.  "I had an interesting chat just now.  Dean, your dad said you could play with the money until I gave the PD charities half.  Sam, the angel that waylaid me said to remind you that the side of good looks down on those who slip over to use the evil things' ways to get the evil things.  That it can still taint you further."  Sam went pale.  "I pointed out you weren't mine in this life and he agreed as long as I mentioned it.   Sorta like me pulling out the wings to scare the crap out of the demons that wanted me earlier."  He flopped down. "But I saw one of the native sividia.  He was fairly decent and helpful.  He got the demons to leave me alone, and agreed that I should hit a succuba tonight to take some of the Sunnydale taint off since that's why they came earlier."

"Hold on," Dean said.  "You're babbling again.  Sunnydale taint drew them to want you?"

"I'm older than the average hellmouth baby.  It means I must be powerful or specially skilled according to them."  Dean nodded once at that.  "So they wanted me as a concubine because of that.  Without knowing why I was so old."

"So a good with a bad," Dean agreed.  "The bags are?"

"Tribute since they couldn't use it as a bribe.  The cursed thing is gone though.  The angel apparently kept it."

"Angel?  We're sure?" Sam asked quietly.

"Yeah, I saw the wings.  He stopped me on my port home."  He shrugged.  "He said he understood why we use these gifts to stop evil things but others are worried."

"That's good to know," Sam said.  He shifted some.  "Tribute?"

"The native Sividia came to help me when I had to pull rank.  Kinda.  Whatever, it made them leave me alone.  I'm told with my wings out I read like a quarter offspring.  John even agreed I could hit a succuba tonight so I can get my wings preened."

"I know where a few are," Dean told him.  Xander beamed at that.  "What are you doing with those?"

"Hillbourne in IAB said to donate half.  He's the one Mac called in to help him discourage the demons from bribing everyone.  It still took me going wings out to do that.  So we'll see."  He shrugged. "Two wanted me to be their concubines."  He stood up.  "I'm going to shower and change so I can go play.  I'll see you guys later."

"Call us when you're done so we can do the holy water tests," Dean ordered.  Xander nodded and bopped off to his room.  Dean looked at Sam.  "Now we know not to let you use them unless it's an absolute emergency," he said quietly.

Sam looked at him.  "Why give the warning now?"

"He could waylay me on the way home," Xander offered from his room.  "This way he could be subtle."

"Why tell you instead of telling me?"  Xander leaned out to give him a pointed look.  "He saw them too?"

"One of the higher demons got it as a vision when she did it.  The sividia said they let her do it so it'd drive her insane and she wouldn't be so dangerous anymore.  They had no idea she'd draw us in."  He shrugged.  "Who knows.  I know the sividia hated watchers.  The one that the demons pulled in to translate for them got killed immediately when he showed up."  He ducked back into his room.  "The blue pants?"

"Wear jeans, Xander."  Sam shifted again.  "I didn't want to have them anyway," he said finally.

"Good.  Only for emergencies."

Xander came out.  "I pointed out that plenty of people used their so-called evil gifts to help the good side because only using good guy tactics could get you killed and then the war's lost."  He sat down, looking at Sam.  "It's the same battle I have now and then with myself, Sam.  They probably consider the magic the same way."  Sam nodded at that.  "So, see, we'll be fine.  Just try really hard not to use it unless you have to save Dean from some evil girl hitting on him or something."

"I can do that," he agreed.

"He's right.  If good guys didn't walk in the dark, nothing would ever be killed.  But there's probably a threshold for 'you're scaring us and possibly moving that way'," he said, thinking out loud.

"Taint grows, Dean," Xander and Sam said together.  Dean moaned.

"But in the one with the wings we wore some of Sam's taint out, often.  You came back to do that each time we gave hell a headache."  He went to find the book, bringing it over to him.  "Here, how we did it."  He grinned.  "Not that you feel tainted, but we all know it happens."  Sam grinned at that.  "Now, I'm off to get laid for the first time in nearly a year because John's a pushy dad.  I'll see you guys later."  He grabbed his wallet, taking out his PD ID card.  Then he put it into the back just in case he had to prove he was one.  He made sure he had money.  "Laters.  I'm headed to the bar they've been hunting in."

"They've been gathering in some Irish Pub down on Madison before going hunting," Dean offered.  Xander beamed and headed there instead.  He looked at the book.  "Can we do it without him having to use his wings?"

Sam nodded.  "Pretty simple spell."

"Good.  Then we'll work on that tomorrow while he's at work."  Sam relaxed.  "Let's see what sort of presents he got given earlier."  They pulled the bags over with a groan of complaint for the weight of them.  Dean opened his and gasped, grabbing his chest.  "I think that's illegal to look at if you're not a Fed."

Sam looked at the bars.  "Good thing there's wheels on that sucker."  He opened his, finding gems.  "Pretty."  Dean looked and cooed.  They put those aside and pulled over other bags that looked more lumpy and less heavy.  "Good money."  Dean petted his stacks too.  "We have to divide it into half."  Dean nodded, starting one for you-one for me piles of the money.  Sam did the same and it was good.   His and Dean's center piles finally merged so that was fine.  They got the rest of the bags sorted and it was even better.  The ones for the PD got put by the door.  The rest got dragged to the sanctuary vault.  Dean cooed at the gems but that was him being Dean.  They were very pretty.  The gold bars they left.  The PD could figure out how to change those and keep them.  Xander wouldn't want more gold.

***

Xander walked into the pub and over to the succuba sitting in the back, pouting at them.  "Can you ladies help me with a small sitch?"

One smirked.  "Why should we, Harris?"

"Shh."

"Sorry, forgot."  He sat down.  "What do you need one of us for and is your protector around?"

"LA.  I had two higher things want me earlier because I'm a born and bred hellmouth baby that's nearly made it to thirty."  They all moaned.  "Started a bidding war with my boss and internal affairs.  John gave me permission if one of you guys would like to deal with that for me?  And maybe preen the feathers?" he asked hopefully but quietly.

One laid a finger on the back of his hand.  "You do have enough energy to feed all of us tonight."

"But that would be an orgy and bad," he mouthed, making her laugh.  "But I can see one or two.  I can totally see switching out if you want to."  The head succuba nodded at that.  "Please?"

"Your ex said good things about you."

"It's been nearly a year.  John's picky and won't let me pick a girl up in the club."  That got a few shivers.  "Please?"  They nodded, taking him back to their place.  The whole group pounced him to suck his energy from the hellmouth taint.  He let out his wings and one played with them for him, making him get off with a moan.  "Oh, that's good.  Now who wants oral sex?"  They pounced and he did what he wanted to do.  He was a happy, sated, tired boy when they got done with him.  Then a few of the ones who were still a tiny bit hungry went to the club to hunt but the rest called Dean to pick him up.

Dean walked in with Sam behind him.  "Dude, you smell like a whorehouse in Vegas," Dean complained.

"He has almost no more hellmouth taint," the head succuba said.  "As requested, boys."  She stared at Sam.  "No, we can't remove it that way.  That's a blood, not an energy taint.  Though you do look like fun."

Xander blinked at her.  "If you need more, I wasn't good enough."

"Dear, even I'm sore.  You did just fine."  Xander grinned at that.  "Go home with them.  Shower off the lust.  Put your wings away."  He did that and they took him off, the girls all waving from where they were collapsed.  "Thankfully he didn't want another round," she moaned as she stood up.  "I'm going for a bath.  Poor Anya dealt with that every night?  She must've been sore."

"Anya used to complain she only got four a night," one told her.

"Then that's her fault.  Good to know.  We should offer her a job with us."  She found her bubble bath and settled into it with a moan of pleasure.  It helped the soreness a lot.  He was damn good but too much for their hunting pack to handle.

***

Dean looked at Xander once they had cleared him of any demon spit and things with holy water.  "Dude, you made succuba *sore*.  How?" he demanded.

"Anya always wanted more."  He grinned.  "I feel so much better."

"Good," Sam agreed.  "Go to bed, Xander.  You have to work tomorrow."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  Sam shook his head.  "If you ever get that bad...."

"My heart would give out and you can bury me with the smile, dude."

"Sure, I can do that."  He flopped down and turned on the tv.  Dean flopped down beside him.  "Should we check on him later to make sure he doesn't die in his sleep?"

"Nah, he'll be fine.  Even if I want to know how made them sore."  He sent that information to his father's phone, and that he was fine and less tainted by Sunnydale.  His father didn't answer.  "Dad must be having a happy night."  He put his phone up until his father would eventually answer back.

***

John looked at the message and then at Gunn.  "Got any beers?"

"That bad?" he asked with a grin.

"Because of earlier I let Xander go play with one of the succuba who have been trying to hit on him.  Dean just wrote that he's nearly out of Sunnydale taint, he smelled like a Vegas whorehouse when they picked him up, and he made the pack of succuba sore and sated."

"Anya used to complain that she needed more sex from what I heard," Gunn said, going to get John a beer.  "He home safely?"

"The boys picked him up and made sure he wasn't tainted from it."  He opened it and took a drink, shaking his head.  "A whole hunting pack?"

"Xander can do some amazing things according to Anya.  She probably built up his stamina."

"I hope so or he's never allowed to jog again."  Gunn cackled at that.  Angel came out to give them odd looks.  He showed him the text message.

"Anya should be a succuba.  She did it to him.  Though I'm not sure why they're sore."

"She walked funny often enough according to the others," Gunn reminded him.

"I didn't need to know that."

"The demon want him?" John asked dryly.  Angel walked off moaning.  "I'll take that as a yes."  He took another drink and put the beer down.  Xander said that Angel taunting was a fun hobby and it looked like he had been right about that too.

"I heard he had went bad for a while in Sunnydale.   Maybe they played or something," Gunn offered.  They went back to their battle plans.  "Okay, how's this for a backup line?"

John nodded.  "That'll work but we'll need some here for safety reason," he offered with another point.  "I know we don't have enough people but if we can get a few of the agents who know that way it might help.  Faith, Buffy, and the main crew plus me and the other hunters in the center running path would be better.  Fan us out a bit."  Gunn made those dots.  "That'll work."  Angel came back to look and added a dot.  "Who?"

"The boy if he shows up."

"He shouldn't.  There'll be watchers here."

"We all know he will," Angel said.  "He jumps into everything, even when it will kill him."

"Then we'll have to see," John agreed.  That got a nod and the vampire walked off again. John took another drink and put the can down.  "Think the higher demons who don't like this plan will get us a lot of help or just nudge help our way?"

"Probably just nudge help our way.  They don't like to get involved."

"That's fine if they can.  Maybe it'll lead to more hunters being here."

"Could be.  Or more potential slayers."

"They're kids.  I don't want them in the way of harm," John told him.

"So they can take that safety spot watching to make sure none go that way."  That got a nod and he wrote that in as a suggestion of placement.  "Cool."  He rolled it up.  "Go to bed, John.  The boy clearly gives you a headache."

"Most of the time he's a good boy.  Now and then though."

"Yeah, we heard.  Go home." John nodded.  He was nowhere near drunk or lit from the few sips of beer so he took it with him.  Gunn got comfortable, putting his feet up. Angel came back.  "How would you make a succuba sore?  It seems like they'd be used to it from their jobs."

"I don't want to know," he complained.  He walked off again.  "Do we have battle plans?"

"We do.  All we need are the final numbers of how many we'll have.  We can assign areas then."  That got a nod and Angel went to see who else was going to be helping them.  Gunn went to get his own beer.  He deserved one and it'd take the ideas going through his head out before they stuck.  Wesley looked at him.  "What?"

"What happened?"

"The kid made a pack of succuba sore."

Wesley shivered.  "That's nearly unheard of."  He smirked.  "But with Anya in his past, it's possible he's still needy."  He walked off.  "Let me know what weapons I'm working on tomorrow and if I need to find anything mystical."

"I can do that."  He went up to his room to get drunk in peace and quiet.  Faith gave him an odd look from the hall.  "We have placement plans for the battle."

"Sure.  That's fine.  And then what?"

"Take out whatever comes?"

She smirked.  "I like how you think, Gunn."

"I'm still stuck on the text John got from his boys.  He made a pack of succuba sore."

"Damn, I thought it was only me."  She walked off shaking her head when Gunn gaped at her back.  He had been a fun playmate.  She wondered if he was still one.  Maybe she'd hit that after the invasion if she was still alive.  It'd be good stress relief to come off the slaying high and it'd mean she couldn't do anything stupid or bad.  If he showed up, she might see if he wanted to play afterward.  He was a nice guy.  Who apparently someone had trained some skills into.  Before it was natural talent, now apparently it was training.  Which could be very good for her sex drive.  She shook herself clear and went to hunt.  She needed a good hunt to get the blood flowing.

The Many Mystical Mes 7.

NC-17 this part

Xander got a few good weeks once the boys left to head to LA, slowly but heading that way.  Nothing unusual happened.  Mac had calmed down.  John texted reminder emails once a day reminding him to eat and sleep.  It was okay.  Adam was even in a goofy mood over some of his t-shirts.  Xander finally dropped that money off on Hillbourne.  With one money order set already made out.  The rest he could decide where it went.  The gay officer's union needed a kick-ass party this year.  The rest could go to widows and orphans, or the vest fun, wherever he wanted.

He walked the trolley from his trunk up there with the bags, putting the few money orders on his desk.  "The rest you decide," he told him, dropping the bags there.  "The one with the gold is *really* heavy but it has wheels."  He walked off happier.  He grinned at a few curious looking ones, including the one who knew about him.  "Someone wanted to buy me from Mac for their own personal use.  Hillbourne had to come discourage him and they left the money."  He shrugged.  "This way it goes to good charities."

He strolled out, going down to his car and then to his job.  "I gave that half to Hillbourne just now," he told Mac when he met him at the front desk.  "I only stipulated where a little bit should go.  He can decide on the rest since he wanted me to donate it."  He beamed at the sign-in girl, holding up his ID.  Mac gave him a funny look.  "She said my scrawl was unreadable so she signs me in."

"Uh-huh."  He shook his head but he was smiling.  "Button up shirt," he reminded him as he left to go to the courthouse.

Xander went up to his locker to pull one on over his happy shirt.  _People are worried about the voices in my head, but it doesn't bother me.  It's nice to have friends_ made Adam giggle madly and Aiden too.  So he had made others happy with him yet again.  And hey, another t-shirt he didn't have to worry about getting gunshot residue out of.  Halfway through his shift he got the bad call to come to the courthouse to testify, groaning.  "Damn it."  He walked out, finding Stella.  "I just got the 'you have an hour to appear in court' order.  My lab's clear, I locked the door.  I've gotta head home because I don't have a suit in my locker but I'll fix that tomorrow."  He blew a kiss.  "I'll try to be back before the end of my shift but you never know."  He walked into the locker room and checked then disappeared once he had his keys.  He came back twenty minutes later, putting a suitbag in his locker and shutting it, then heading out fussing with his hair.  Stella gaped.  He stopped in front of her.  "Not good enough?"

"That's a designer suit, Xander."

He looked down then at her.  "I know that."  She blinked a few times.  "I do have money, Stella."

She smiled.  "Good luck and remember not to bullshit too badly when they ask you how you afforded that."

He nodded.  "I won't."  He grinned.  "I look okay, right?  I don't need to change into the black suit?"

"No.  Go.  Shoo, before you're late.  Traffic is horrible going that way."

"Sure."  He made sure he had his wallet, ID, and gun, then walked out.  He nodded at the officer down there.  "By any chance you aren't heading to the courthouse, are you?"

"Lawyer?" he sneered.  "We're not cabs."

"CSI Elton, ballistics.  I've got court.  I just got called in off the list."  He pulled his ID out.

The sneer disappeared.  "That's a nice suit.  Discount place?"

"Graduation present to myself since I knew I'd get called to testify sometime, but not too bad.  End of the year sales at Ralph Lauren are nice."  The officer grinned and drove him that way, making him a happier boy since he got there early.  "Thank you, have a good shift, Officer."

"Have fun with the defense attorney."  He watched him head inside, shaking his head.  "CSIs must make a lot more than we do."

Xander presented himself at the guards.  "CSI Elton, ballistics."

"So you have gunpowder on you, sir?"

"Yup, and my service piece."  They locked that for him and did the hand-wand, letting him in once the lockbox had his dagger too.  He walked back to the courtroom they had called him to, nodding at the prosecutor pacing the halls.  "You called on me to appear?" he asked dryly.

"You're...."

"Elton, Ballistics."

"I did."  He handed him the file.  "This one.  You did the ballistics?"

He looked then nodded.  "I did.  My first week here."  He looked up.  "What's being challenged?"

"You."

"Ah.  The death threat thing?"  The prosecutor gave him a confused look.  He pulled him aside.  "It's a well-known fact among the PD that there is a death threat out on me.  A three-quarters of a million dollar contract because my best friend screwed up and a group in Britain wants to have me dead."  That got a slow nod.  "Which is why they'll probably ask why my training is under two different names.  They took some of my teachers in Chicago hostage and I had to switch identities but they told the new school so I wouldn't have problems."

"Okay, that's good to know.  Right now they're challenging that you can tell these things."

"Of course I can.  That's what I'm trained to do."  That got a nod.  "Can I keep this for now so I have my notes?  I didn't think to bring them."

"Go ahead."  He walked back inside.  "Your Honor, this is CSI Javier Elton, who the defense called as a sudden witness against my objections.  He has our file so he can refer back to the notes made."

"That's something a lot of CSI do."  He looked him over, seeing the casually tense way he was standing.  "Swear him in so we can get on with this."  Xander moved forward, taking his oath and sitting down.

The defense attorney walked over, looking at him.  "Nice suit."

"Thank you, it was a graduation present to myself since I knew I'd be testifying sometime.  The teachers said I needed a good one."  He grinned.  "You needed to know what about the ballistics on the case?"

He sneered.  "You're trying to be pushy."

"Sorry but I do have more hours to work today."  He crossed his legs and got comfortable.  This guy wasn't any worse than a vampire or a demon.  Hell, he wasn't even as good at trying to be threatening as Spike.  There was no way he was scared of this guy.  One of the voices shouted to pay attention.  "Sorry, what was that?  I was mentally going over the case again."

"I asked how you afforded that suit."

"End of the year clearance."

"Here?"

"Dallas and Louisiana.  Where I finished my training."

"Finished?"

"I had to leave my first school because someone took some of my teachers hostage to get to me."  He gaped.  "It's well known among the PD."  He shifted some and put on his close-work and reading glasses.

"You wear glasses?"

"For close detail work and it can help with reading.  I figured you had pictures somewhere for me to look at."

"I do.  How did you afford it?"

"I have money."

"You're a first year CSI."

"I have at least fifty mil in the bank," he said dryly.  "I work because I want to work.  I like working with guns.  I can even go into fits of joy at gun shows," he said blandly, staring at him over the rim of his glasses.  "Yes, I could afford it when it's not on sale.  I don't tend to touch any of it.  I live off my paychecks for the most part, except for a dinner out now and then."

"I see.  So you're part of the local rich elite?"

"No."

"You're not in society?"

"Why would I want to be?  It looks awfully boring.  I have almost nothing in common with them.  I'm more happy with a pizza and a hockey match on tv."  The defense attorney slumped at that as he walked back to his table.  He came back with a picture.  He looked at it.  "A Smith and Wesson forty-five," he said, handing it back.  "What of it?"

"You can tell that by the picture?"

"There's some that have the same rifling but the size of the bullet gives it away.  Only they make that rifling in that caliber."

He gaped.  "You can do that?"

"I can identify some of them in the dark by feel, sir.  I learned my craft very well.  Including taking identification trips to the local pawn shops and working at a gun range one summer to make sure I knew which one came from which.  Some of the people that have trained me to protect myself from that death threat have been retired military as well.  Of course I can identify most of them.  When there's a common rifling pattern it can be more tricky but usually the size of the bullet and the way it shaped in flight will give me most of what I need to know.  In this case all I had to do was compare it to the test fires I did on the guns that were brought to me.  That's putting them on a dual eye microscope and looking at them next to each other."

"What about these common riflings?"

"Each gun wears itself down differently.  Like shoe patterns do.  The way it's fired, taken care of, kept, and how old it is creates an individual wear pattern. That's what we match them against and in the various databases that have guns listed in them from crimes."

He blinked. "There's no way it can be identical?"

"Out of over three thousand bullets I've done, I've seen one be almost identical once.  In that case there was a faint line on one that only came up under higher light than the microscope I was using had.  It was at most a ninety-five percent match."

"One of the guns in this group was that close."

He looked in the folder.  "That was a case of reload density."

"What?" the judge asked.

"If we fire the gun with one type of bullet and then a different brand of bullet, there can be inconsistencies.  Yes, a forty-five is still a forty-five but it's a forty-five with a few grains of weight difference, a few more grains of gunpowder by company specs, or possibly even a few extra microns of length.  Each company has their own molds and specs for their bullets," he told the judge.  "Like there's all these four-door sedans that get the same gas mileage," he said at the still confused look.

That got a nod.  "Most of them look the same, and the ones in the same class you really can't tell apart except by the hood or trunk decals."  That got a bigger nod.  "But each company builds theirs slightly different using their own specs and their own plans.  Bullets are made the same way.  So are guns.  Each company has to fit it within the general definition of 'forty-five' or whatever caliber.  That's a more narrow definition but there's still some difference from company to company.  That's why I always include that in the report if it was reloaded in the lab for the test fire and if there was a difference in that case."

"That makes sense to me," he agreed.  "Proceed, Counselor."

"So in that case it was a different brand of bullet than he had been originally firing?"

Xander looked at the notes.  "Yes."  He pointed at his report.  "The original bullets looked to be from this company, but I can't exactly match that.  The ones we use for lab reloads are this company.  This was the density of that original bullet, the density, length, and specs for this bullet that we reloaded with.  With that much wiggle room in the density it allows the bullet to flatten out a bit more in the test fire chamber, which is a formula that's input on my computer.  Plugging in this difference in density gave me the ratio that was acceptable for it to spread more."  He looked at him.  "Which was more than the one it spread by.  Therefore the difference in the bullet was the density of the lab reload and that's why it's still a match, within ninety-seven percent when you don't take that density difference into account or a hundred percent when you do."  He leaned back, looking at him.

He shook his head quickly.  "Can the court reporter repeat that back for me to make sure I understood it?"  The judge nodded for the court reporter to do so.  He looked at him.  "So the only difference in that one bullet is the reload?"

"Yes.  The original was found..."  He looked it up.  "Inside the officer they shot."  He held up that part of the report.  "We know it was fired from that particular gun because we matched it to the test fire."

"Could that smaller than the average difference by that formula mean it was a different gun?"

"No, it means it was fired from a lesser distance.  Bullets spread out more over a distance.  Like when you throw water from a bucket," he said at the confused look coming back.  "It comes out in a column and spreads out," he said, showing him with his hands.  That got a faster nod.  "Bullets do the same thing thanks to gravity and air friction. The longer the distance the bigger the squishing."

"That makes sense," the defense attorney said.  "Usually I get technical speak."

Xander grinned.  "I don't mind speaking normal human as long as you don't piss me off.  If you annoy me too much, all you get it technical speak."  He grinned sweetly.  "So far you're doing okay."

"Thank you, I think."  He scowled.  "So there's no way it came from a different gun?"

"No."

"Thank you."  He went back to his chair and had some water.

The prosecutor stood up.  "You tested all the guns in that lot?"

He checked.  "My supervisor checked one when I was at lunch and he wanted to look over my shoulder since this was my first week in the lab.  He wrote his own report for that gun."  He held it up for him.  "The rest were done by me."  He put it back down, looking at him.  "Technically there is a night-shift Ballistics tech but he's been out on sick leave due to a broken leg.  If I had to stop in the middle of a testing case, he could take over the guns I had not done and do those to compare.  If there was any cross-matching to be done we'd probably do it together.  In the one Detective Taylor did, it was a straight look at and match then I ran it through the system when I got back from lunch to see if it matched any other cases."

"That's good to know."  He smiled.  "I have no further questions."

"Me either," the defense attorney said.

"Then CSI Elton is free to go back to work."  Xander nodded at him and handed the prosecutor the file before leaving.

***

Xander came back to the lab, letting Aiden whistle at his suit.  "Nice look," she teased with a grin.

"It's almost comfortable too," he taunted back with a grin.  "I had to explain things to a defense attorney."  She giggled.  "And he liked the suit too."  She burst out cackling.  "Let me change and go back to work."  He headed for the locker room, running into Danny, Mac, and Don.  "Hey, guys.  Mac, the defense attorney has a headache but I put it in good analogy format for him when he wanted to know."

"The prosecutor called and said you were a bit wordy but decent up there for your first time."  Xander grinned at that compliment.  "He also said the attorney noted the suit."

"And I noted I do have money and I can afford a nice suit now and then."  Don nodded that it was.  He grinned.  "Clearance at the end of the season."

"That's still not cheap."

"Ralph Lauren.  Not the most expensive place.  It was only three hundred."

"I need to look there," he decided.  "Thanks, kid."

"Not a problem.  Am I still clear?"  Mac nodded.  "Want me to clean or help Adam?"

"Help Adam if you want," he agreed.  Xander nodded, going to change and then hit the trace lab.

Danny grinned.  "He'll get more calm as he gets called again."

"The prosecutor said he did have to be jogged from his thoughts," Mac admitted quietly.  They nodded, Danny going to talk to him about that.

"I know I got lost," he said as Danny walked in.  "I was thinking how very unthreatening he was."  He looked back.  "I excused it as I was mentally going over the case."

"Next time don't do that until afterward."

"I won't."

"Good.  Mac's getting the transcripts so he can go over it with you in case you need some polishing for the next time.  The prosecutor agreed that was fine.  He thought you were more experienced on the stand."

"No I'm more used to being interrogated by women.  They're worse."  Adam nodded at that.  "And more evil."

"Only the ones you date," Adam reminded him.  "I've found some very nice not-evil ones."

"Introduce me?" he asked.

"They won't play on the first date.  You just need laid, Javier."

"I know."  He got back to work.  "Can I have the saline solution?"

Adam frowned.  "Why?"  He looked.  "That's not from this case."

"It was in the envelope and marked," he said with a shrug, letting him see it.  "I was going to do a wet mount since I know what it is."

It got handed over.  "It's nice that this is your minor."

"I don't get many hours in it but I try to at least keep up with the journal stuff."

"Speaking of, there's a convention in six weeks," Danny said dryly.

"Not enough leave time yet," Xander moaned, looking at him.  "Pity but sorry.  Have fun and tell me what you remember about the parties?"

"Ah, you went to the intern one," Adam said dryly.

"Yes and John nearly kicked my ass for going to the bar with my fellow students.  Yelled about how bosses would see that as a bad thing."  He prepared the slide and looked under it.  "Freaky glow bulb on here, Adam?"

"No.  Why?"  He let him see it.  "It's purple."

"I noticed.  All I did was take a small smear from an edge of the sample and then put two drops of saline on top of it."

Danny came over to look then at the case.  "That guy was doing some chemo for colon cancer."

"So it's the radioactive chemicals?" Xander suggested, taking that swab to put into the right bottle for the testing machine.  It came back a few minutes later.  "No it's not.  It's an algae."  He let them see.

"That makes no damn sense," Danny complained.  He went to look on the case notes to see where that sample had come from.  He came back five minutes later with the file.  "It came from the kitchen counter."

"Eww," Xander said.

"Some people don't clean," Adam reminded him.  "I nearly went OCD when we did the germ spotting lectures and had to test our houses."

Xander shuddered.  "John made me clean with lysol.  Twice."  Adam grinned at that.  "He's still a bit OCD about keeping the house clean but he spent most of the boys' youths in motel rooms."

"Eww," Adam agreed.  "So, the algae is normal?"

"Maybe.  I'll go check on that again."  They nodded at that.  "Any other funky samples?"

"Not yet," Adam said.  "We'll page you if there is."  He nodded, heading to tell Aiden that since it was their case together.  "Still gross."

"Very."  They got back to work, grinning happily when they cleared the case out and cleaned the tables.  Xander checked his watch.  "It's dinner time."

"So it is."  They walked out together once their jackets were where they needed to go and their gloves were off.  "Hotdog?"

"Eww, no.  Deli on the corner?"

"I can do that.  Mac, heading to dinner," he called when he spotted him.

"Have your phones in case.  Danny's out on a new case, boys."  They nodded, heading down in the elevator.   They signed out and headed for their dinner sins of choice then ate on the way back.  They saw Flack chasing someone and Xander handed Adam his drink and sandwich then pounced the guy, knocking him down.

"Thanks," Flack said, hauling the guy up.  "See, you're so stupid you even piss off CSI!"  He walked him back to the building to have a talk with him.

Xander took back his food once he was dusted off, grinning.  "That was fun.  We should do that again."

"You need laid again," Adam said dryly, smirking back.

"Well, yeah, but the succuba from last time said I was too needy and made her too sore."  He shrugged.  "Pity.  They're fun to play with and a lot easier since they don't expect presents and shit."

Adam patted him on the back.  "You're a bit warped."

"I know but I'm fun," he finished with a grin.

"Yes you are."  Their phones went off so they finished eating on the way back to the lab, signing in and heading upstairs again.  They came off the elevator and Xander took the gun boxes from Danny's hands.  "How many do I have?" Adam asked.

"About sixty billion or so."

"Goody.  Overtime?"

"Possibly.  There's a missing kid.  The mom managed to save one but not the twin sister."

Xander nodded.  "Gotcha.  The others in my lab?"

"Yeah."  Xander went to glove and rejacket up then get to work.  He got a page a half-hour later.  "Already?"

"Yes and no.  You've got an issue.  Does she have any identifying features?"

"A mole on her shoulder."

"Which marks her as a potential slayer."  He handed over an address.  "Check there first."  Danny nodded, jogging out to do that while he finished up.  Mac walked in.  "She had the potential slayer mark," he said quietly.  "The first gun came up registered to Traver's brother-in-law."

"So they snatch them?"

"Most of the time they try reason.  But they're bottom-line folks, Mac.  Anything to get the cause done."  He looked at him.  "Including thinking the girls are expendable.  That's why I gave Danny their main hideout's address so he could check there first."

"Don went with him.  Let me know if they try to say something about you doing this."

"Make 'em beg for a deal, Mac.  She's not the first.  We'll be lucky if they're not taking her out of the country to train.  It's one watcher, one slayer until death do they part.  And they don't do mommy very well."

"I'll keep that in mind."  He went to check in with Flack since Danny wasn't answering his phone.  "Do you have her?"  He nodded.  "Good to know.  We'll alert all the airports?"  He smiled at the 'already done'.  "Elton thinks they'd be taking her out of the country."  He nodded, listening.  "She was definitely there?"  He nodded.  "That happens to the best of us, Flack.  You can't blame yourself for them losing you in traffic."  He listened.  "Okay."  He hung up, going to talk to their only local source.  "Would they fly her or drive her?"

"Whatever works at the moment.  A few of their guys are SIS or British military trained.  Very few and mostly the head guys."  They shared a look.  "They do have extraction teams but I've beaten a bag and tag team.  Faith did.  Buffy did."  That got a nod.  "So they could be on the ball or they might be the weak, idiot patrol.  Depends on which one they're using."

"They lost them in traffic."

"The council has funds to get a private flight."

"Don already warned all the airports, even the private airfields."

"Did we put out an Amber alert?"

"We did."

He looked at the guns, handing Mac one.  "Run the registered owner.  It might help."  He did that and Xander did the other one through a serial number search.  The Brits had a stricter set of gun laws.  "Here we go.  One guy isn't an extraction member."  He moved to his desk, pulling out his laptop.  Sam had found a council password somehow and handed it to him.  He looked up the names.  "One paratroooper trained leader, two man team otherwise.  One watcher, from...."  He pulled up his present assignment.  "They have the girl listed."  Mac came over to look.  "They're heading for the Bahamas."

Mac called that in to dispatch to alert all airports that the girl was headed for the Caribbean.  "Good thinking."

Xander grinned.  "Thank you.  I hate how they treat the girls."  He logged out and put the computer back once it was off.  He looked at him, handing over the password.  "In case you wanted to browse or something."

"Is this part of screwing with them?"

"I figure she's not the first stolen.  Their parents are probably worried."  Mac nodded, going to his office to look into that.  Xander got back to work making sure it was a solid case.   Why had they dropped their guns?  He texted that info to Flack because it made no sense to him unless they had more with them.

***

Mac came in two hours later.  "She's safe."  Xander relaxed.  "They're mostly begging for mercy.  Don had to shoot one when he threatened the girl's life."

"I'll see if he needs a hug in a minute."  He handed over his report.  "Solid, including registration information.  If they had more, I'll do them too."

"They're begging for deportation," Mac admitted.  Xander shrugged.  He clapped him on the back.  "Good thinking."  He left, going to put that with the other information.

Xander went to find Don where he was watching the interrogation.  He gave him a hug.  "I'm sorry you had to do that."

"It's cool.  Get off?"  Xander got off him.  He grinned.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome."  He wrote down a name and number.  "That is Buffy's watcher," he said quietly.  "She was not council trained and he was fired for giving a damn.  She'll still need trained, just in case she's called, but he might be able to find someone who can do it reasonably and locally.  He'd know who to talk to."

"I'll give it to the mom.  They've already showed up to nag her."

"Pity but their people shouldn't snatch kids."  That got a nod.  "I hate how they treat the girls, Don, even if I know it's important that they get training."

"Good point."  He patted him on the back, going in to talk to the mother.  "Hey."  He sat down next to her.  "We can shoo them off if you want."

"They'll just come back.  What sort of future is that for her?"

Don handed over the paper.  "That is the name and address of one of them that got fired for giving too much of a damn about his girl.  She's the active one but she was not trained by them.  They didn't find her before she was called.  You might ask him about that and about home training so she lasts as long as she can if she's called.  Or maybe he'll know a local contact who isn't one of the bastard patrol who can do that."  She nodded, clutching her daughter tighter.  "I agree, it sucks.  The one that gave me that name agrees that it sucks but he's known a few of the girls.  One's nearly twenty-five and she got called at sixteen because she had help and training according to him."  She perked up at that.  "The best you can do is probably have her trained as much as she can.  That way if she's called, she can handle it.  Don't let them run you over either."

"I won't.  He'd know someone?"

"If anyone would he would.  If he doesn't know immediately he'll call a few friends.  See, from the backstory I've heard, he treated her like his daughter.  That got him fired."  She grimaced.  "She's still going and he's still advising her and training her.  My contact said that she stood up to the council many times.  Her mom too."

"That could be helpful.  Do you think she could talk to me?"

"I think you can ask her through that same number probably."  She nodded at that.  "Let's get you home and set a uniform on your house, just in case they get terminally stupid and come back."  He helped her up and out to a squad car, nodding at the officer.  "You or someone else watches her in case more come back."

"Yes, Detective.  Were they captured?"

"The ones doing it.  There might be others who have the same idea."  That got a nod and he got in to drive them home.  He turned and found the kid watching.  "She'll be fine."

"There's an eighty percent chance of her being called," he admitted.  "Because some of the ones they train don't last that long.  I'm going to get drunk and not think about that.  Want to join me?"

"Nah.  Danny's taking me to the bar later.  You can come."

"I'll have nightmares and possibly flashbacks.  I shouldn't be around people tonight, but thanks."

"Thanks for getting her help."

"I hate to see them have anyone."  He walked over to his car, then decided to cab home.  He was too scattered to not crash.  Plus it'd be safer.  He made it home with the short stop at the liquor store, and it was better.  Until he heard the message on his machine.

"Javier, it's Mac," his voice came out.  "Since you left your car in the lot we checked it over for you.  Good instincts to leave it.  They knew that the ballistics tech found out who they were by their guns.  They have no idea that you're you but someone let slip that was your car.  The bomb is gone but your undercarriage is nearly destroyed.  I sent it to the police garage to be looked over for evidence.  Call me when you get this."

Xander sighed and called.  "You know, I cabbed so I could stop at the liquor store and not have an accident with how scattered my mind was."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  If they can't fix it, I'll get a new car."  He laughed.  "Thanks, Mac.  Yeah, getting drunk.  That way I don't have to think.  Be safe."  He hung up and went to make himself a drink, doing his weekly emailing to Bobby, John, and Dean and Sam before he started to drink.  If he did it afterward he'd be thinking while typing and he didn't think they wanted to hear that from him.  Someone knocked a bit later, making him get up to answer it.  "Ahn?"

"Yes, it's me.  You inconsiderate ox, you didn't tell me where you went."

"That's because they'd find out and kill me." He pulled her inside, looking her over.  "Back at work?"

"Yes."  She stroked his cheek.  "I'm not going to tell them.  I like you alive too much."  She smiled and took a kiss.  "One of the girls said you had played with them and wore them out.  I miss your tongue so I'm here to play with it."

"And the rest of me too I assume?" he taunted with a smirk.

"Well, yes, if you're sober enough."

He snorted.  "I've only had two, Ahn."

"You used to hate drinking."

"I still do, but it's better than the almost visions I was getting about the potential they kidnaped from the city today that I had to help find."  She slumped, nodding.  "So, just my tongue?"

She moved closer to kiss him.  "No, not just your tongue, idiot."  He grinned and pulled her into his bedroom to have some fun with her.  She could get all the squeaky, squealy noises she wanted and he could have some sleep, because she could knock him out with sex so he wouldn't have nightmares.  She had in the past.  Besides, she had been missing his tongue and the orgasms it gave her.

***

Xander came in the next day wearing sunglasses and a dark shirt.

"Turned?" Danny joked when he ran into him.  The kid shook his head.  "Hangover?"

"Nope.  My ex showed up to get some of me."  He took off his sunglasses and winced.  "Headache from her squealing this morning before she left."  He put them back on.  "I'm going to ballistics.  It's darker in there."  He walked that way, letting Danny snicker behind him.

"You know better to drink on work nights," Stella said loudly next to him.

"I don't get hangovers, Stella," he said, glaring at her.  "I had an ex show up for sex last night and this morning.  Her squealing in joy gave me a headache.  You mind?"  She backed off at that.  "Thank you."  He walked into ballistics, turned o the music very quietly, and shut the door with the delivery chute open.

Mac came in a few minutes later.  "You don't get hangovers?"

"I had two drunk parents, Mac.  Nope."

He looked over him. "Are you in good enough shape to work?"

"My head's throbbing but otherwise I'm fine."  He looked at him.  "Not like tylenol works on me.  I tried."  He went back to his current work.  "I'm fine as long as I don't have to hear more squealing or loud noises."

Mac patted him on the back.  "Try to rest for lunch or you break."  He left, finding Flack carrying coffee.  "It's not a hangover.  He told Stella his ex showed up last night and squealed."

"Is she going to get him in trouble?"

Xander walked out and took the coffee, giving him a one-armed hug in thanks.  "Only if she wants me to hunt down her boss and end him since she's back to her calling."  He went back to his lab and shut the door again.

"I'm wondering which ex this was."

"According to the dossier Adam found online, only one of his was more than slightly evil when she was working and squealed.  His last one.  Over women scorned," he finished quietly.  Don had read that file too.

"That's...  wow.  Why did she show up?"

"She decided she missed me," Xander called.

"Okay then.  So it's the squealing sort of headache?"  Mac nodded.  "Tylenol?  I have some in my locker."

"He said it doesn't work too well.  He'll be fine, let him recuperate in peace, Don.  Though I think the coffee was appreciated."

"He hugs nicer than some girls I've met."  He shook his head.  "Okay, now that I need another coffee," Mac laughed at that. "What's up on my other case?"

"Which one?"  Don held up the folder.  "Danny's in lab one."  Don walked that way.  He went to check on Xander.  "You're scowling at the gun?"

"It's not a gun."  He held it up.  Mac shook his head, walking off.  He found the CSI noted and went to find them.  "Stella, I may love you, but are you blind?" he asked her when he found her.  She gave him a dirty look.  "Seriously?  Do you need my glasses, dear?"

"Why would I?"

"Because you gave me a plastic gun."

"They make them."

"This one squirts water, Stella."  She moaned.  "Unless it holy water'd someone to death?"

"No.  It was dark.  I'm sorry."  He handed it over.  "Fingerprints?"

"Not my field," he reminded her.  "Danny's field.  I'm only at base standards for that one."

"I'll do it," Danny called from across the hall, looking very amused.

Xander walled over there and put one in front of him.  "I know you were trying to cheer me up by giving me the derringer shaped lighter, but still not as cute as Ahn was."  He walked off at Don's snicker.  "Thank you for the coffee, Don."

"Welcome, kid."  He smirked at Danny then at Stella.  "Both of you?  Experienced CSIs gave him fake guns?"

"I was hoping he'd find what was in the thing," Danny admitted.  He saw the note.  "Bubble gum, okay then."  He took it to DNA.  "If I've got gum and this is a lighter, think you can get DNA?"

She looked at him.  "Possibly.  Depending on how old it is."  She took it and smirked.  "Gave it to Elton first?" she asked in her gentle British accent.

"Yup.  Stella gave him a squirt gun so I'm not the only one."  He heard giggling and walked out, finding Stella leaning on Don's arm.  "Another one?"

"He walked up to Mac and offered to shoot him with the paintball pistol," Don said with a grin.  "Mac said they hurt nearly as much so he probably shouldn't unless he wanted a few unpaid days off.  Xander handed him a card for a paintball range to go play because he needed it by the scowl and the uptight, stick up the butt, thing he had going according to him."  Danny burst out laughing too.

"Enough or work unpaid overtime," Mac called.

"Since you worked it with Aiden, can he get her, Mac?" Danny called.

"No.  That's unprofessional."

"But fun when you used blessed ones on certain people to make them shriek," Xander called before shutting his lab door.

"Should we be worried that the violent instincts come out after sex?" Don asked Stella.

"Not with his exes," Danny muttered, walking off shaking his head to go back to DNA.  "You think you can?"

"I think it's incredibly old but I can try," she offered.  He grinned and left it to her.  Sometimes she worried about her coworkers and their sanity levels.  She really did.

***

Xander looked around the apartment.  He was bored.  He was uptight thanks to his day earlier - the last week really.  He had no idea how to get rid of it.  All he knew was that he *seriously* needed to do something to get his stress levels down before John got the urge to smack him from the west coast.  Which he didn't want.  He respected John too much to make him handle him if he went even the slightest bit evil.  A memory surfaced and he groaned.  "Mac won't like that," he muttered at the voices bothering him.  "It'll get me in trouble at work."  They continued so he had to deal with it.  Or not.

He mentally swore at them but a few others told him it might be a good idea.  He could pop around to somewhere outside the city that Mac wouldn't hear about.  He'd be okay as long as Mac didn't hear or he confessed first.  Because Mac had bee a very understanding boss about all this.  He might understand this urge too.  Maybe he even had it now and then.  Xander decided to deal with it that way just so they'd leave him alone, ignoring all the smug noises they were making.

Some even sent smug looks at him, how he had no idea but he could clearly see them in his mind.  He found an outfit he wanted and headed to a club he had traveled past on the way to the sanctuary the last time he had been there by driving.  It was a cheezy little club.  Not a happy place but it did have male dancers. He appeared outside, heading inside without looking around.  The manager saw him.  "I need to blow off some stress from work," he said bluntly.  "I'm not great but I'd love to be able to tease someone into begging."

"Can you even dance?"

"I'm not horrible."  He got led to a back room to show off.  He wasn't bad.  He wasn't great but the manager looked slightly impressed.  "All I need is to blow off some work stress."

"What do you do?"

"I'm a criminalist.  I deal with shitbags all day and their guns."

The guy gave him an odd look.  "You're a cop?"  Xander pulled out his wallet with his ID, showing it to him.  "I'll be damned."  He handed it back.   "Go for it.  We'll put you on as a temp guy.  How did you get here from New York?"

"Long story," he sighed, shaking his head.  "Very long story."  That got a nod.  "I don't even need the cash."   He went where the bouncer showed him, waving at a few of the guys.  "I need to blow off work stress."

"Open pole night is tomorrow."

"Doug said he could temp tonight," the bouncer said.  The kid moved against a wall to stretch, getting a nod for that.  "Music choice?  I can let the DJ know."  Xander wrote down three songs he remembered liking, getting a nod.  "A bit hard for the local club, kid."  Xander amended it to three country songs he liked, getting a grin and a nod.  "I'll let him know.  You're up next."  He went to the DJ, finding him where he should be.  "Kid who needs to blow off work stress."  He handed over the slip.  "He's next."  That got a nod.

The bouncer settled down to watch how the new kid handled himself on the stage.  He came out a bit shy but that was fine.  He saw one set of boys in the corner do a spit take but that was fine too.  They apparently knew him.  The kid was playing up there but he got into the groove as the first song hit its first chorus.  Then the moving got better.  He was clearly letting it go.  He was cute enough.  Well built.  Tight and well muscled.  Had a dick by the way his pants clung to his hips.  And he could move at least a little bit.

The two who had done the spit take were staring in awe.  The kid, well...  yeah he could handle himself.   By the end of the second song he was down to his pants, which were open.  It was clear someone had trained him at least a little bit in how to strip.  No one was that natural their first time on the pole or the stage.  The kid kicked off his pants and moved closer to the end of the stage, tempting the guys to try to touch. A few tossed tips, staring at how his hips swayed and rocked for them with the music.

Then the last song came off and the boy grinned, walking off with a wink at the guys, taking the tips.  They all got put into the jar in the back for the other dancers and the kid got dressed, heading out the back door.  The Bouncer smiled.  That was a classy kid.  Blow off his stress and leave it at the tease.  He noticed one of the guys that had done the spit take had snuck out too but the other one didn't seem too concerned, just stunned stupid.  He nudged one of the dancers on the floor selling drinks to go hit on him, shocking him out of it.  The guy was charming but clearly not into guys.  He had come in for the beer but the dancer did get a drink sale.

Xander turned when he felt a hand on his arm, turning to find Sam there.  "This is freaky luck.  What are you doing here, Sam?"

"What are you doing here?" he asked back.

"Work stress," he said simply.  Sam growled, moving closer.  "I needed to blow it off so I was."  He shrugged.  "There's no other good ways to do it at home.  Either I'd pick up one of the freaky, dangerous chicks or we'd have this problem where they'd find me and hunt me down while I was asleep post orgasm.  This was safer."

"So you came to a gay bar in the middle of nowhere to blow off stress?"

"I remembered it from the last drive to the sanctuary."

Sam moaned, pulling Xander into the shadows.  "No.  There's ways around that stress, Xander."

"Not that I have available to me, Sam.  You know your dad won't let me date in case I pull in something dangerous and have to act.  He doesn't even like me to do bar pickups."

"He's being even more controlling than he was with us," Sam said in awe.  Xander nodded.

"I guess he has reason but still."  Xander leaned on the hood of the Impala, letting him look him over.  "Where did you learn that?"

"Roadtrip.  I ended up on the pole to fix the car that blew up."

"Oh."  He moved closer.  "What do you really need, Xander?"

He stared at Sam.  "You like girls," he said bluntly.

"Not always."  He pulled him closer to kiss him, making him hiss and shift closer.  "You teased but it didn't get it out of you, did it?" he asked, moving down to his throat.

"No.  It helped."  He moved closer.  "We've had lab anomalies and a serial rapist reappear."

Sam nodded, nipping him gently on the same spot that Xander had bit him before.  "I can understand that."  He flipped him around, shoving him down onto the hood.  "We need to make this really fast."

A bouncer came over.  "Boyfriend?"

"Our dad's watching over him.  If I knew he was that stressed I would've offered before."  Sam grinned.  "Give us ten?"  He stroked up Xander's back, getting a small moan.

"Take it to the motel, boys."  He walked off shaking his head.  "He didn't realize his boyfriend was here," he told the bouncer inside.  "They said they were on a roadtrip earlier."

"No wonder he was holding so much stress."  He saw the dark car pull out of the lot and smirked.  "Looks like he stranded his brother."  He went to talk to him.  "Your car and brother just left together," he said quietly, looking down at him.

"I figured he was taking him home or something."  He took another drink.

"The guy who was on stage said it was job stress.  Apparently he didn't realize his boyfriend was here with you."  He walked off to talk to the boss.  "We'll get him a ride to the motel."

"Boyfriend?"

"Apparently.  He was about to have him on the hood of the car."

"Interesting."  He shrugged.  The kid had been odd but he knew about work stress.  The dancers stressed him out all the time.

***

Sam walked Xander through the door, kicking it shut as he pulled Xander's shirt off him.  He kissed him then pushed him onto the bed.  "You need softness or cuddling?"

"Cuddling is nice afterward."

"That'll work.  I'm about to bop Dean on the head."  He laid down once he was naked, finishing his pulling off of Xander's clothes.   He dove in, making him a happy boy.  Xander was moaning into his mouth on his nipple and trying to get him to move.  Sam shifted to lay on top of him, letting him do whatever he wanted to do.  He was seriously horny and he had no idea why.  He hadn't been this way earlier.  He looked up, panting some.  "Hormones?"

"Down."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."  He kissed him and moved so they could rub against each other.  "How do you feel about moaning and screaming, Xander?"  Xander shivered.  "You miss being called by your own name?" he teased, kissing him again.  He flipped Xander over and found the lube and a condom, using it on him.  "Relax for me and I'll make it good enough to make you happier again, Xander."  Xander went limp for him and it was good.  Sam didn't have to do too much work.  Xander opened readily under his fingers.  He slid in and moaned at the tightness.  This was going to be a good ride.  He started slowly then built up until Xander was holding on for dear life.  He was babbling and begging.  "Come on, Xander," he said, panting into the back of his head.  "Come on.  You can go over, Xander."  He screamed in pleasure at one hard thrust and went over, letting Sam follow.  Sam calmed himself down, holding Xander against his chest.  "Shh, I've got you."

Xander gulped air, trying to look back at him.  "That was good."

"It was but I wasn't this horny before."  Xander wiggled free of him and flipped over to cuddle him, making Sam happier since he was back.  Xander gave him a kiss before curling up on his shoulder.  "You okay?  I didn't hurt you?"

"It was great, Sam.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He took another kiss and grinned.  "Dean's going to throw a fit."

"I'm not the Winchester family sex toy or pet."

"I know that."  He gave him a cuddle, making him a happy boy again.  "We're due in LA in a week.  We had to stop to do something first.  He smoothed over his hair.  "Then we'll see what happens after the invasion."

"I shouldn't be there."

"I know.  If you do, we'll protect you."  Xander nodded, snuggling in better.  They were lightly dozing when Dean came in.

"Damn, it smells like evil rutting stink," he said dryly, closing the door.  "By the way, guys.  Killed the incubus at the club."  They both groaned.  He smirked at them.  "It good, Sammy?"

"Yes I am," Xander told him weakly.

"Good.  You can play with him all you want, Xander.  If he agrees, it won't matter to me.  We'll hide it from Dad."  Xander gave him an evil smirk over Sam's shoulder.  "As long as he's not too tired to hunt now and then."

"He won't be."  He looked at Sam, who shrugged, so he kissed him, making him moan.

"I don't need to see that," Dean said impatiently.

"Then go sleep in the car," Sam said as he moved lower to tease Xander some.  "Do you want more, Xander?"  Xander nodded, arching up into him.  "That's a good boy."

"Still not a pet," he panted.

"Pity.  I can pet and cuddle the family pet," he teased with a grin.  Xander flipped him over and got what he wanted by climbing on top, making Sam hiss and moan as he slid down his cock.  "Damn," he said, pushing up.  Xander set his own rhythm.  Sam could keep up with it.  Dean fled to the bathroom for a few minutes.  "I think we embarrassed him."

Xander shrugged.  "I'm sure he's seen it before."  He took a kiss and went back to it, making Sam very happy.  Happy enough to help him stroke himself off to another orgasm and then a much needed nap for both of them.  He flopped down, letting Sam hold him.  "Damn you're good," he said in his ear.

Sam smirked.  "Of course I am."

"That's because I taught him.  He was pathetic before," Dean called.  "You two done now?"

"Yeah, for now," Sam agreed.  Dean came out shaking his head but ready for bed.  He climbed into his bed and faced away from them, making Sam smirk.  "See, it's cool."  He took a kiss and Xander finished drifting off with him.  Sam was quickly asleep too but it was a restful, nightmare sleep for both of them.

The Many Mystical Mes 8.

Xander strolled in the next morning.  "Need the sunglasses again?" Stella teased with a wicked grin.

"Nope.  This one didn't squeal."  He gave her a smug look.

"Is that because this one wasn't a girl, Javier?"

"No comment.  I don't kiss and tell.  That was my ex."  He got into the elevator and headed up to the lab to sign in and then get to work.

Danny watched him walk.  "Need a pillow?"

"Not the first time."  Danny gaped in awe.  He shrugged.  "It happens."  He went to grab his jacket and glasses, going to the lab.  He found the empty bags in there with a note on top about next time bring it all in cash.  He put it into the bags and put them out of his way, then got to work.  He was going to have a good day.  Maybe he'd keep playing with Sam.  As long as John and Dean didn't mind.  Because they might make him stop.

***

John watched his boys walk into his apartment a few days later, watching how Sam moved.  "She good, son?" he asked dryly.

"Yes he was."  He sat down, grinning at his big brother since he was moaning.  "What?"

"I didn't need that detail, Sammy."  He looked at their father.  "He was with Xander, Dad."

"Do we think that's wise since they were attached in a last life?"

"He agreed we can keep it at the stress relief level," Sam assured him.  "If we have to, I can keep playing with him."

"I still say that incubus had some effect," Dean told him.

"Xander said they'd had a serial rapist show up again in the lab.  Everyone's stressed," Sam countered quietly.  "Even when it's not going through his lab."  He shifted to put his feet up.  "He also said Aiden nearly snapped and got to the point where she wanted to tamper but Mac found out and had to let her go; even though she didn't, she might have and it looked bad.  So he and Adam have been backup field guys again.  He had a pretty tense field case that day."

"That does suck, I like Aiden," Dean said.  "Her case?"  Sam nodded.  "Can we do anything to help?"

"I think he was going to.  Not real sure."

"The boy takes care of those he considers family," John said.  "She okay?"

"I don't know.  He told me the next morning.  I've emailed her but haven't gotten one back yet."  He shrugged a bit.  "No clue what's going on other than what he's said.  What's going on out here?"

"The FBI agent that got the dirty ones that first day are trying to stop them but they're not having much luck.  It looks like we'll have the invasion after all."

"He said he'd be here if he could but he knows he shouldn't," Dean offered.

John nodded.  "We'll need all hands for this."  He sat down, looking at his boys.  "How is he doing otherwise?"

"A bit lonely and tense.  He's not sure he won't snap on a subject," Sam offered.  "That's why he put up with you over his shoulder for so long, Dad.  He's unsure if he won't go off some day."

"He's right to worry but he has a good handle on it," John pointed out.  "I told him that."

"And his first field case had a parent that drowned their kid for being whiny," Sam shot back.  John moaned, shaking his head.  "Apparently he walked out after they confessed and went to hide in his firing pen for a bit."

"Those are going to be hard for him," John agreed calmly.  "I called and talked to him last night but he sounded a bit hyper."

"Yeah, putting it mildly," Dean agreed.  "I called about his dinner break and he was bouncing around ballistics.  Then he suddenly got calm and said something about that curse's gone but not to worry.  He hung up and I called back, he said he had taken care of the wish demon and D'Hoffryn wasn't pleased with her at the moment."  John nodded once at that.  "But it was solved and his wings and magic are still at standard levels."

"I found something to help him mask that," Sam said, pulling the necklace out of his pocket.  "The witch we ran into in Arizona made it for him.  It's to help hide any magical output unless he consciously broadcasts it."  He held it up off the end of his fingers.

"He'd like that. It's like extra insurance," Dean agreed.  "Pretty too."

"It is."  He put it on the table.  "So we need to give that to him the next time one of us see him."  That got a nod from John.  "We all know that Xander's worrying about it when he shouldn't spend this much energy worrying about it, Dad.  It still won't stop him.  He's got to worry about it a little bit."

"I understand that."  He patted him on the head.  "Bobby's asleep in the back room.  There's a double room for you two."  They nodded.  "Did he send you with more stuff?"

"He *so* loaded our trunk before we could go," Dean told him dryly.  "Shells from his hunting closet, all that, Dad."  He handed over something.  "He said it's in a different class than ours but to use it if we had to since it came from another area that's hidden."

John looked inside at the little fetishes.  "Weapons?"

"Protective statues," Dean said dryly.  "Sic them on the demons."

"I'll see if we can use them," he agreed, zipping them back up.  "It could help keep them away from civilians."  They nodded.  "Go rest, we'll have dinner in a few hours, boys."  They went to get their gear from the car then hit their bedroom.  John called Xander once they were closed in.  "Do you need to talk, young man?"  He smiled at the sullen answer.  "What's wrong?"  He listened to him complain about his last case in the field.  "Why is Mac blaming you for one of them spotting you?  And what did you do to him?"  He nodded.  "That makes sense.  Did anyone else see?"  He smiled.

"That's good I guess.  No, that's not a problem.  I didn't even feel a twinge.  I just talked to Sammy, Xander.  No, that's fine.  If you two want to consensually do stress relief stuff, then that's up to him and you.  I'm more worried that he said you're still worried and uptight after that.  Because we all know that you fuss at things.  How is Aiden anyway?  Dean told me?"  He listened then nodded.  "That'd be a good thing to do."  He smiled.

"She might yell but she knows it's because you care.  That's fine, Xander.  Calm down.  Yes, you can shoot back at Mac if you feel he's being unfair.  It's not your fault he had you working a case up the street from them.  He's just stressed as well.  No, I wouldn't offer, Xander.  He might fire you."

He smiled.  "Good thinking.  No, we're fine.  They're here.  Bobby's here.  They're all resting.  I have them.  Thanks, kid.  You be safe."  He hung up since Mac had walked in complaining.  "That poor Marine," he muttered.  "Xander's going to warp him more."

***

Xander hung up his cellphone.  "John checking in.  Now, what did you need?"

"Why is he checking on you?"

"The boys just got there and he heard Sam and I had some momentary stress relief the other day.  He wanted to make sure I was handling the stress okay.  This morning he didn't even feel the twitch to act."

"Good.  What are we going to do about this?"

"He'll shoot me if I take them all out, Mac," he said dryly.  Mac scowled.  "Mac, how soon did you know that was ten feet from their front door?"  He leaned his hip against the table.  "I handled it when it happened without letting others see me do it.  It's as good as I can do if you send me to their front door."

"You have to be able to work anywhere we need you to."

"And I am, that's why I handled it, Mac."  Mac scowled at that.  "You know what?  Go take a nap and quit scowling like some grandmother at me, Mac.  If he had yelled that it was me, we'd all be getting pretty stitches downstairs in the morgue right now.  I handled it when it happened."  He stood up and moved closer.  "It is not my fault the call today took us there.  Nor that you forgot that they were there too and one of them was killed.  For that matter, I know who killed him so you can go get that suspect and then calm yourself down.  Because I'm not your whipping post."  He stared at him.  "You wouldn't send Stella there if she this on her.  I could be pissed as hell that you sent me there but I'm not because I handled it in an efficient and casual way that didn't get my ass busted for having to magic him."

"Xander, calm down."

"Fuck off," he retorted, staring at him, seeing the shocked look.  "Remember, Mac, I did see combat but I wasn't regular military.  I was trained by the expedience rules the day and saves lives method.  My boot camp was killing people I had known since kindergarten in some cases.  And one older than that," he said more quietly.  "I will do whatever I have to so I'm not put in danger and neither are the others in this lab.  If you wanna bitch about the magic, go for it.  It saved all of us being shot to death by their local retrieval squad.  If you don't like that, go tell them where I am and I'll gladly defend myself and this lab.  Just like you do."  Mac backed up at that.  "So no, do not get pissy with me because you didn't realize or forgot or whatever.  I worked the scene in a professional and capable manner and I handled it when the threat to our safety showed up.  Can you honestly say there was a better way to do that?"

"No," he said calmly.  "Now can you please calm down?"

"Only if you take the stick outta your ass," he said bluntly.  "You yelled at Stella earlier for not being Superwoman.  You yelled at me for not letting us be shot or invaded.  You yelled at Flack for not being you.  I'm as pissed as you are that Aiden got to that point and you had to act as a supervisor.   I would've helped her any way I could have if she had come to me.   Short of tampering.  I would have gotten as far on the ethical leash John gives me with his permission if I had to and it was the only way.  It doesn't mean that it doesn't suck since she only thought about it and didn't do it.  You can be as mad at yourself and others as you want to be, Mac, but don't take it out on me.  I'm too used to bitchy girls who gave me shit for being male and not special like them.  I can gladly unleash all the stuff I didn't say on you instead because I doubt I'll make you huff off and cry."

"No I won't.  Are you done?"

"For now."

"Fine.  You did handle that scene in a reasonable manner but you could have exposed yourself more."

"I kinda doubt that.  The patrol guy didn't even see me do it."

Mac slumped, leaning against a table.  "Good point.  You did handle it in an efficient manner.  Thank you for not letting us be shot.  Is there some other way you can hide yourself if we have to pull a case near one?  We could have one out for coffee who sees you."

"I've tried disguise spells but I don't do good with them because I can't mentally visualize the new look.  I've done what I could short of dying my hair.  I don't dress like my old self.  Unless you want me to go in for cosmetic surgery?"

"No, nothing that rash needs to be done.  You're right, I had forgotten that was in their back yard.  I should've taken Danny."

"So you can rip into him again?" he asked calmly.  Mac glared at him.  He glared back.  "I'm not going to treat you like a girl and be nice and shit, Mac.  You treated him like shit over something you knew could happen since you asked him about stuff in that area and you knew his past."  Mac slumped further.  "And now others treat him like shit on the streets.  His last case, no officers were there until the detective got there."  Mac stiffened, looking at him.  "I called him about some test results and he made a weak ass joke about it."  He stared at him.  "No, right now, I'm not going to be pissed.  That was an accident and we both did what we could to minimize the problems.  Right now, you owe Stella an apology for being an ass to her and Danny too.   Do I need to find a succuba to make you feel better?  I will."

"I don't need that form of stress relief."

"Okay, as long as you relieve it sometime before you die from it.  You having a heart attack would be on the list of Very Bad Things for this lab."  He handed over a report.  "Your shooter.  He's done it before with that gun and somehow managed not to lose it."  Mac looked and groaned.  "I don't know, I don't care.  Take it up with Hillbourne for all I give a damn.  I'd say it was over gambling debts since his personnel file has a note that his supervisor talked to him about that problem recently."

"I'll look into that.  Thank you."

"Not an issue but I'm not the bitch for stress relief.  Same as I'm not the Winchester family pet."

"You are?"

"Sam and I had some stress relief one night."

"Can you think of anything that might get Pratt?"

"Beyond a good compulsion to confess?"  His phone beeped with an 'I felt that'.  He put it on the table, getting a smile.  "Which is ethically borderline and I'd have to get John's permission but I'm pretty sure he'd let the leash stretch that far if he had to.  He's beaten guys like that in the past before handing them over."

"I'll think about that.  I'd rather it be ironclad and irrefutable."  He looked at him.  "I needed to hear it but the next time you swear at me...."

"Oh, spank me," he said dryly.  "Out.  Go talk to that guy and make up with Stella before she kills you."  Mac glared.  He stared back.  "She will.  She looks like she can use a nail file to take you out, Mac.  With the way she was pissed this morning?"  Mac groaned, walking out.  He sat down, going back to his next case.  He didn't care if Mac was pissed that he had given it to him.  Apparently everyone else was too scared of the guy to tell him he was being an ass.

Well, Xander wasn't scared of much anymore.  He checked his online bank balance, frowning at it.  He looked up. "She can't have it or I'll take her out," he said with a sweet smile.  He reloaded the page and it was mysteriously back.  "Thank you, D'Hoffryn."  He got back to work, thinking about what Aiden needed most right now.  He locked down his lab and went to find Danny.  He pulled him out of the hall traffic, getting an amused look.  "I want to help Aiden.  I know she's got to be worrying about things like rent and stuff."

"She'd never let you do it."

"Even if it's like a birthday present?  Is hers even close?"

"April."

"So close enough I could call it that.  If I had a bunch of stuff I need researched I'd ask her.  I don't know if I do or not."

"She'll be fine and we're all helping where we can."

"I can afford to drop enough for her upcoming rent for the next four or five months."

"Good point."  He considered it.  "If you did it anonymously she might not hear who did it.  I don't know how you'd do it."

"Look up her landlord in the building records?"

"Could."

"Go over there and ask the neighbors about any open apartments?  See if they can tell me who it is?" Xander suggested.  "It's more sneaky."

"You could ask me," Don said from behind them.

"You know?"

"Yeah, I k now who her landlord is.  Why?"

"So I can give her a kick ass birthday present.  That way she doesn't have to worry about being evicted."

"That would make Aiden scream at you for months, kid."  Don grinned.  "Feel better now that you let go on him?"

"Yeah, I did.  And for the others so Stella doesn't have to take him out with a nail file.  Do you think she'd mind that as a birthday present?"

Don shrugged.  "That's more iffy.  She might not.  I know she's doing something with some classes after hours."

"I asked her, she said she was doing fine and to quit worrying," Xander told him.

"Uh-huh.  You're both like that.  You okay with earlier?" Danny asked.

"I'm fine.  He doesn't remember seeing me.  I figured out who did it and Mac has that to handle the questioning."  He looked at them.  "Would she really mind or just fuss for form's sake because she's a girl and they fuss?"

"Probably just fuss," Don admitted.

"Can I give it to you?"

"I can do that."  Xander pulled out his wallet.  "Whoa, you carry that sort of cash around?"

"It's payday."  He shrugged.  "I went to the bank.  I was planning on doing some dinner and shopping later."  He handed it over.  "There.  That's about four months of mine, so that should be about five of her since she said I pay more than she does."

Don counted.  "That'll work."  He put it into his wallet.  "You need a receipt?"

"Then she'd fine out.  I trust you."  Don grinned.  "Now, any goodies for me today with gun stuff?"

"Not yet," Danny admitted.  "Don?"

"Mine works."

Xander looked at him.  "Was that a quiet plea to have me look at it?  I can."

"Nah, it's fine.  The new oil I used isn't as slick."

Xander frowned.  "You're sure it's not rust or slide sticking?"  Don nodded.  "Okay.  Want to come steal some of the gun oil?  I'll let you borrow a little bit."

"I switched to the lab's brand."

Xander snickered.  "I don't use that on my exemplar, Don.  I use good stuff on mine.  Come get some."  Don nodded at that.  "Danny?"

"I'm good."

Xander stared at him then moved closer.  "A few months back I got a flash of a CSI I knew dying in Miami because he wasn't taking care of his gun.  Are you?" he asked very quietly in his ear.

Danny stiffened.  "I'm good on that."

"Okay.  If you're not, you can get help.  Not like I mind.  I clean all mine once a week."  Danny nodded at that, grinning some.  "Just an offer, not saying you are."

"I know.  You're a pushy brat but you're good on that."  He looked at Don.  "Our case has jack."

"Wonderful.  Even with the stuff you collected?"

"Mostly common stuff. The only not common thing was an herb, which was why I was looking for you anyway, kid."  He handed over that report.

He looked at it.  "Voodun."  He handed it back.  Then he considered it.  "Shop on eighteenth I think.  I don't know.  I can ask someone at the school if they know of someone up here who could give us a reference."

"Is that the reason for the death?"

"It may've been after the death.  Some sort of 'I'm sorry, go to the afterlife' sort of smudging.  I don't know.  I didn't study that one all that much.  Native mystical rites are fascinating subjects and one I need to study more of.  Maybe then I'll find a better way to disguise myself.  I can ask if you want."

"Nah, we can use this.  The person doing it would've been part of that religion?" Danny asked.  Xander nodded.  "The person done on?"

"Probably but maybe not.  If they felt sorry and did it that way it might not've been someone in the faith."

"Okay, but it's a place ta start," Danny said.  "I think Stella knows someone who does one of the native faiths.  They might know who ta ask more about this stuff."  He hit him with the folder.  "Get her something sweet and gooey for her birthday to cover up that present.  That way she won't suspect you."  Xander beamed and nodded, heading back to ballistics.  "He's sweet."

"He's single," Don offered with a grin.

"Two bouncy guys together wouldn't be fun."  He walked off with Don to find Stella.  "You still pissed or can we ask you for a recommendation?"

"How dare he say something to Mac."

"Whoa, hold up," Don ordered.  "I heard half of it.  Mac's scene with him this morning?  Was ten feet from their bookstore hideout."  She groaned.  "He only mentioned that Mac snarled at you and you could take him out with a nail file, which would be bad for the lab.  He also suggested he could find him a succuba if he needed that sort of stress relief."  Stella's mouth opened then she cackled, leaning on the table.  "Exactly.  He had every right even if he did let go on Mac and swear at him.  Now, our case has Voodun herbs?  That's the religion side of Voodoo, right?"  Danny and Stella both nodded.  "He identified it that far but said he hasn't really studied native mystic rites."

"That's cool I guess."  She took the report.  "Yeah, that's to grant the spirit an open pathway to death.  They burn or bury the spirit with some."  She handed it back.  "I can see if my contact can give you someone to talk to."

"Please.  He said he'd call the school and ask them if you didn't have one."

"I can see."  She leaned on the table.  "He swore at Mac?"  Don nodded.  "Wow.  He's still alive."

"He also reminded Mac that he saw just as much combat only with less training.  His was 'whatever works and saves lives'," Don said more quietly.

"Which was why he was stunned."  Don nodded.  "It was nice to get an apology from Mac for his crappy mood.  I'll talk with Mac later."  They nodded. "Anything new from Aiden?" she asked.

"The kid's being sneaky on her behalf.  Part of her birthday present is some of her rent being paid," Don told her.

She grinned at that.  "She'll yell and scream at him."

"He's being sneaky and letting me hand it over."  He smirked.  Stella laughed and patted him on the arm before walking off to call her friend from the locker room for some privacy.  "Okay, now what?"

"Hope we get a name.  Make sure Mac don't fire the kid for talking back.  Little things like that."

"He won't.  Mac understands balls like that.  He has them too."  They shared a look.  "Yeah, he yelled on your behalf too."

"Figured he did."  He shrugged.  "With what he asked, I'm not surprised.  Go get that gun oil."

Don headed that way, finding Mac in there.  "Sorry, he said I could bum some gun oil since mine isn't that slick."

"The one we use in the lab isn't," Mac agreed.  He pointed.  "I think it's in there, Don."  He looked at Xander.  "I will not put up with that again," he said calmly.

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Next time I'll try to find more tact.  I'm sorry I swore at you and lost my temper slightly."

"Thank you."  He stared at him while Don snuck out.  "Even if it was right to say those things, this lab is not the forum for them."

"And you did what yesterday, Mac?" he asked quietly.  "In the lab in front of everyone.  At least mine was private."

"I'm the supervisor," he said firmly.

"And you nearly got a quitting tech last night.  I talked him down."  Mac sighed, shaking his head.  "Yeah, sometimes you need ta yell, Mac.  I did when I ran my construction team."  Mac gave him an odd look.  He nodded.  "I did do supervisory work for over a year.  With guys who wouldn't show up and suddenly called off and had to deal with the suddenly appearing dead people who used to be my foreman and things.  Yes, you had the right to yell.

"Yes you had the right to yell at me today because I swore at you.  But I'm not the twenty-four-year-old rookie that you'd normally get with a first year CSI.  Nor am I going to take being threatened."  He stared at him.  "If you wanna put me on suspension for speaking my mind, you do that.  That's your right as a supervisor.  The same as it's my right as a tech to talk to the one that you nearly made start drinking after three years in AA," he said more quietly.  "Because you yelled at him in front of others.  If you need to work out that stress, we can go to the gym and I'll spar with you."

"No, I don't.  I didn't know that about him."

"I didn't know that about him until I walked into the locker room and found him having flashbacks to DT's."

"Damn it," he muttered.

Xander shrugged.  "You don't handle people things, Mac.  You see us all like soldiers.  Even soldiers have limits."

"I know.  You still can't swear at me again."

"Fine.  I won't.  Next time, give me a day off to go check on Aiden or go shopping."

"I should this time."

"Maybe.  But I'm a better resource if I'm used properly.  Like Danny's got Voodun herbs on his case."

"He does?"

"Yeah."

"I hate dealing with that."

"He said Stella might have a contact."

"Fine.  No more venting."

"Hey, then challenge me to a spar, Mac."  He gave him a look.  "It could help both of us because I'll admit I'm wired and tense.  I know something's going to happen."

"Here?"

"I'm thinking it's LA.   Speaking of, I've been having internal debates.  I need to be there.  I shouldn't be there because they can catch me.  I'm sure there'll be a few there with a potential or something."

"Do we have a firm date?"

"No.  Not yet."

"If you need to go, you let me know somehow and then you head.  It might mean you jump in late but you'd probably have to anyway, right?"

"I'm known as a white knight, Mac.  Yeah, I'm kinda fond of the jumping in approach."  He nodded a bit with a wry grin.  "That's why I hunted from the first part of tenth grade on."

Mac shuddered.  "How old were you?"

"Pre-sixteenth birthday by a few months."

Mac shook his head.  "That's got to be soul destroying."

"Only when it's your friends and people you've known for years," he said, being perfectly serious.  Mac shuddered.  "Small town, Mac.  Not like it was a huge city.  Sunnydale only had a few thousand people plus the college."  He shifted his stance.  "I make very few attachments, especially now.  I'm going to protect them.  Even from rabid pitbulls of Marines."

"I realize that now, Xander," he said quietly.  "If you feel you have to go that day, you tell me and go.  You tell me when you're done so I know how injured you are."  He nodded at that.  "You come back as soon as humanly possible after you're done, even if you do have to hit an ER here and make up a story."

"Yes, sir."

"Good.  No more swearing at me, even if you think I deserve it.  You have more than enough skill to get your point across without that."

"Sure, next time you get that uptight I'll send a succuba to hit on you," he said dryly.

"Should you, I'll beat you to death myself," Mac said, shaking his head at that and walking out.  Sometimes the kid gave him headaches.  He went to check on Danny.  "Will you need a local contact that he might know?"

"Nah.  Stella's knows someone to talk to.  We'll bring the vic's picture to see if he's a member too."  Mac nodded at that.  "Don't be too hard on the boy, Mac.  He's lost everything and of course he's gonna go all pitbull over his current friends and support network."

"I'm not.  I warned him not to swear at me again."

"I'm surprised you didn't punch him for it," Danny said dryly.

Mac frowned.  "He was right about the content without using the language.  That's the only reason."

Danny grinned.  "You see the kid as a protegee."

"In some ways.  I do know that we can't have him in the field as often.  It's too dangerous."

"You talk to the budget people, not me," he reminded him.  "We can train a new rookie CSI."

"I put in the forms already.  Will you have a problem with a rookie CSI?"

"Nah.  Why would I?"

"You and the kid don't always work well together."

"He tells bad jokes when he's tense.  I didn't like some of them.  Not dirty but really horrible ones."

"Joking to tense to snaps to weapons pretty," Don agreed from his seat.  "We noticed that way back when."

Mac nodded.  "Today he got all the way to snaps."  He looked at Danny.  "I'll expect you to help me train them if they're a rookie."

"Of course."

"Good.  Thank you.  Let me know if you need more help."

"Mac, no offense, but go spar with the boy.  I may not be able ta beat you at hand-ta-hand but I'm betting the kid can do damn near close enough," Danny said bluntly.  "You need it too and you won't swear at the reason you're so tense."  He walked off with Don before Mac could retaliate.

Xander walked in and handed him something.  "Ballistics for Stella's case and she's hiding."  He walked off again.

"How good is your hand-to-hand?"

"Fairly decent.  I tested out of my beginner class with some after-hours classes that John and I both took.  Senior level I worked with the others because the teacher passed me.  I'm not a technically correct form person but I can do it if I have to.  I'm still a better weapons fighter."

"I could use some sparring time."

Xander grinned.  "Sure, Mac.  Name a time and make sure I'm off."  He walked off happier.  Mac came and got him later that night, taking him down to the PD gym.  It was nearly empty at that time of night.  They had the boxing ring all to themselves and only one person was in there using the heavy bag.  He looked at the ring then at him.  "Gloves or no gloves?  I know some people only go with gloves.  My teacher was one."

"No gloves.  I want to see what you can do."  Xander climbed in and stretched, letting Mac do what he needed to do.  Mac came at the boy and he ducked then kicked him in the side, following it up with a brutal blow to Mac's shoulder to knock him down.  Mac got back up and came at him again while he bounced around.  Mac tagged him this time but he still ducked and avoided then hit him back.  "Go like you would if you were jumped on the street."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't.  I'm tougher than most of the muggers."  Xander nodded and came at him this time, attacking first to show what he could really do.  Fighting vampires meant he was used to a stronger, faster target.  Mac was about halfway there.  Mac slowed down his attacks and Xander dropped back into the newer training, more blocking and avoiding.  He had only managed to tag Mac a few times because he was good at blocking hits too.  He sped them back up and Xander knocked him down with a foot sweep and reached for his dagger or stake holder, not finding it.  He stepped back and panted, calming himself against the ropes.  "Good training."  He got up with a groan.  "Can you box?"

"No.  I kinda learned self-defense against bigger, stronger, and drunk bullies."

Mac paused then looked at him.  "Want to talk about it?"

"No, usually I want to ignore them back."  That got a nod.  "You can teach me boxing if you want.  I'm willing to learn new styles."

"You do pretty good with Corps style self-defense.  John?"

"And some older memories that I got one Halloween," he offered with a grin.

"Good to know.   Are you taking more classes?"

"I can't with my work schedule.  Most of them are afternoon, Saturday afternoon, or early evening.  Which I work."

"We can arrange yours and Chad's schedules."

"I know, but that's a lot of bother for a single class.  John makes me practice against him in the alley at least once a week when he's here."

"Good.  I like that."  He moved closer. "You calmer?"

"I went back to the old instincts and nearly staked you," he said bluntly.

"I saw that.  Thank you for not wearing one tonight."  He clapped him on the arm.  "You did good."  Xander grinned at that.  "You need to keep your guard up better.  That's how I tagged you on the chest."

"It's fine.  I've had worse.  I had one that kept trying to reach into my chest."  He shrugged and got out of the ring.  "Need a ride home, Mac?"

"Did you get your car fixed?"

"The insurance company totaled it with why it got damaged.  I got a nice used car instead."

"I can take the train.  You live in the other direction."

"What else am I going to do tonight?"  He gave him an odd look.  "C'mon.  Change.  I'll drive."  Mac nodded, going to do that.  Xander did the same thing and headed home with him.

"How are you handling John being gone?" Mac asked once they were in the car.

"I'm still worried I'll slip."  He turned the corner and headed off into the evening traffic.  "I talk to him every few days."

"You seem to have a good handle on it."

"I'm ignoring the little voice that says it'd be so easy to do some things with the power I have.  Thankfully all the other versions of me that I have in there now keep telling it to shut up so I have some help."

"That's good.  Do you think they'll ever go away?"

"Not fully.  The one who talked to me about the curse I had to have removed recently said it was like a program slowly unzipping a file.  The more I use it the more memories I remember from them."  He shrugged and changed lanes to get around a cab double parked.  "I'm doing okay I think.  I don't get lost in thought too often but that urge hits and I keep stamping on it but I can't make it fully go away."

"Did you have it before?"

"It was quieter then.  I know that my youth and the hunting stuff makes me a good candidate for a profiler to some day be sitting across from me while I'm in a mask and chained to a table."

"I don't take you as a cannibal, Xander."

"Neither do I but you never know.  I know I can be dangerous.  I know if I don't stomp on that voice more often I will end up being dangerous at the wrong time.  I don't know, Mac.  I'm handling it but I know I need a minder.  I forgot to eat dinner last night."  He frowned then let it clear up.  "I was cleaning my personal exemplar and I forgot."

"I've seen you do that."  He looked at the car, pointing at the small bug.  "Does that work?"

"No.  I made sure it had no wires and wasn't putting out anything.  The thing above it is a jammer, which is why the radio doesn't work."  Mac smiled at that.  "I know.  Someone could take this and make a good case for me having MPD until I told them what happened and then they'd say magic is a delusion until I turned them into a rabbit or something."  His phone beeped.  "I like John being that wired but it's bad for him."  He looked at him.  "But I will warn you the day I have to go.  Thank you for understanding."

"Not a problem."  He patted him on the arm.  "There I am."

Xander pulled over and let him out.  "Take a warm bath with epsom salts to heal those bruises, Mac."  He drove off once he was inside, going back home with a stop at the take-out place he liked.  Once he was back in the house he called John.  "It was a hypothetical.  No, I'm fine.  I was sparring with Mac to relieve his stress.  He needs some ice packs and he only tagged me twice.  He wanted to know if I was still taking classes.  What do you think about plastic surgery?  It'd help me hide better."  He listened then groaned.  "Fine."  He grinned.  "I just got take out, John.  I promise I'll eat tonight.  No, I was cleaning my gun last night and I forgot.  Thanks.  Be safe.  LA is the crown of weirdness."

He hung up and went to find his bug detector.  It was time to do another sweep.  Someone had been in here earlier.  They had moved his books on the table.  He called Mac while he did it.  "Someone was here earlier.  They moved my books.  That's what I'm doing right now, Mac.  Yeah, I can do that.  Sure.  You sure?"  He nodded.  "Okay."  He hung up and magically packed the whole apartment, calling John back. "It's me.  Someone moved the books on the table.  I'm going to our backup spot."  He hung up and took the packed box down to the car, coming back to take down that doorway and bring it with him.  It went into the backseat and he drove back to Manhattan.

Of course, he forgot to get the food so he had to pick up more.  But that was fine, he could do that.

He walked into the new building with the doorway and the box, taking it up to the place he had bought.  He came back for the food and locked his car after finding all the bugs and destroying them so they could be bagged up.  His car went to the nearest garage and was parked.  He had another one in storage here.  That'd help some.  He went upstairs, finding his phone ringing.  He answered it.  "Elton."  He smiled.  "I'm fine, Mac.  I parked the car in a garage in Manhattan.  I have a backup spot, Mac.  No, I did some redecorating though."  He looked around the very nice apartment.  The building was scummy but inside the apartment was nearly every luxury he could want.

He covered the mouthpiece and did the unpacking spell, watching as everything flew to where it should be.  He had to put up the milk but that was fine.  His clothes were in the closet.  The doorway was put up on the blank wall he had left that way.  "Okay, I'm in," he said once he quit covering the mouthpiece.  He grinned.  "Unpacking spell, boss.  It's very handy."  He sat down to eat, hearing him pleased with that.  "I forgot the old stuff at the other place.  No, I'm proud of my redecorating skills.  No, I checked for bugs before I did it.  I have a 2009 bug defender and jammer.  Sure, you can do that.  Want me to pick you up?"  He grinned and repeated his address.  "I'm here.  I know the building isn't great.  It doesn't have to be.  That's what redecorating is for.  See you soon."  He hung up and turned on the tv so he could watch it while he ate.

***

Mac walked in with Don and Danny, who had stopped to check his old place.  They had the old takeout he had put there and the rest of the food.  "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome," Danny said.

Don stared around then whistled.  "Like the tent spells?"

"Yuppers."  He grinned.  "So Sam doesn't have to sleep on the couch anymore."

"The furniture there?" Danny asked.

"Can stay.  I own both places."  They nodded at that.  Don went to look around, moaning at the bathroom.  "It's comfy to nap in too," he called after him.  He grinned at Mac.  "Like I said, redecorating.  It was even cheap."  He ate a bite of dinner.  "You can look around."

"Could they have gotten through that doorway?"

"I don't think so.  I'd have to let someone I think."  Mac went to check that house then this new one.  Danny came back from snooping, sitting next to him.  "It's nice enough."

"It's better than most penthouses," he said blandly, giving him a nudge.  Xander grinned.  "Flack dropped that off on the way home."

"Thanks."  Don came out of the back bedroom.  "What?"

"Suits."

"I need them to testify?"  He shrugged. "Shopping was stress relief to the girls in my life and the life with the hormones."

"Fine."  He sat down.  "You comfy?"

"Very."  He grinned at Mac as he came out of the bedroom.  "What's wrong, boss?"

"I found your t-shirt closet.  Please don't traumatize us."

"I always try."  He grinned.  "I heard a rumor that Doctor Hawkes applied for the open spot."  He ate another bite.  "Anyone want some?"

"We're good," Danny promised.  "He did?"  Xander nodded.  "Who did you hear this from?"

"Marty down in the morgue."

"Cool.  I guess.  I don't know why he'd wanna switch," Danny offered.

"I've gotten a few from out of state too," Mac admitted, sitting down.  "Can you help with the new rookie if they are one?"

"Of course."

"Thank you.  This is really nice.  Your decorating style is much nicer than your t-shirts."

"Sam and Dean helped by suggesting."

"Ah.  Do we perhaps miss them more than John?"

Xander shrugged.  "It's all stress relief between us, Mac.  I'm not the Winchester family pet."  The local phone rang and he groaned as he reached over to answer it.  "It's me."  He listened to John complaining about that saying.  "Are you scrying?  I thought I set up defenses against that."  He grinned.  "I'm fine.  I'm sure, John."  He tossed the phone at Mac.  "John."  He went back to his eating.   Mac got up to run the bug detector around this place.  He pointed at the one he found. "The landlord I think.  One of the neighbors warned me he put one in their place to get blackmail.  I pointed out I was a cop and if he tried to blackmail me I'd have him prison within a day."  Mac smirked at that.  Don did too.  "What's he gonna say?  That I have other memories?"  He shrugged.  "They can ask and I can tell them something."

"Fine."  Mac kept the bug, putting it into his pocket.  "Are you sure you'll be all right?"

"I'm fine.  Go soak the sore spots."

"I'm fine, Xander."  He patted him on the head.  "Let me head home.  The car?"

"Up the street at the garage.  I destroyed six bugs in it."  He pointed at the bag.  "They're in there."  He went to get them too.  Maybe he could find something out.  He looked at Danny and Don.  "Are we having a sleep over?  I have some cute jammies if you two want to borrow some."

Danny laughed.  "No thanks.  Not my type, kid."  He got up and Don followed, staring at the kid until he grinned and nodded he'd be careful.  "See you at work tomorrow."

"Fine.  If I must."  He smirked.  "Unless I need another new suit for court?"

"I doubt it with the sixty I saw in your closet."  They left together, heading for their various places to deal with whatever they could tonight.  They'd start looking at who had done what tomorrow.

The Many Mystical Mes 9.

Note: An apocalypse happens here.  NC-17 to be safe for violence.

Xander walked into Mac's office, noticing the three people in there.  "Problems, Mac?"

"The bugs you found in your car and your old place were PD issue."

Xander nodded, looking at the Chief of Detectives.  "Okay.  Why couldn't you just ask me like a real man?"  Mac scowled at that.  "Truth.  If he had asked I would've told him.  The same as I did you."  He looked at him and Hillbourne again.  Then the other internal affair's person.  "Yours?" he asked Hillbourne.

"The one he hired to do the bugging, kid."

"Uh-huh."

"How did you get that money?"

"Some judicious finding when I was younger and in more danger."  The man gaped.  He looked at Mac.  "Permission to show them?"

"It might freak them out," Mac said quietly.

"Go for it," Hillbourne said.  Xander snapped his fingers and all the blinds went down.  The Chief of Detectives and the other officer backed away from him.  He smirked.  "That's what he's been hiding."

"It wasn't my gift until my friend goofed when I was twenty-one.  That's also why people want to hunt my ass down and kill me.  Yes, I found some magically hidden deposits of stuff that should not be out of safe hands and I turned them over.  I also found some minor jewels and liquidated them so I'd have a safety account so I could set myself up in this stunning life I like so they can't find me.  Hopefully."  He stared at them.  "Those things belonged to no one alive and hadn't for over a hundred years.  No heirs, nothing like that.  I made sure of it first.  Most of them were dangerous and the person I had helping me knew who could safely hide those things so they weren't in the open and able to be used."

"You can do like in those books?" the IAB officer asked, trying to stay calm.

"I have some cursebreaker skills," he agreed.  "That's how I funded my safety account.  The person who helped me also helped set up my new identity."  That got a nod from Mac and Hillbourne.  "See, Mac asked so I told him.  Hillbourne's flunky, the other guy that knows about me, he found out by accident and went digging.  He respects me for what I used to do.  I don't like the fact I was bugged and treated as a suspect for no reason when I'm a member of this department.  If the NYPD is going to stand up for it's officers, then it should stand up for all of us and you can ask or could've asked Hillbourne to investigate."

"He did and I told him there was no reason to.  You had gotten it mostly legitimately and it wasn't related back to any crime."

"No.  It's not."

"That could be counted as breaking and entering."

Xander sighed.  "It could also be counted as saving lives."  He pulled the one from his apartment and set it off, letting the little demon out.

"Javier!" Mac complained.

"Relax, it's an imp."  He pointed.  "This is the most harmless thing I found.  In the wrong hands, and especially unknowing and untrained hands, it can destroy the person.  Since I know I can banish the imp," he did that, "and make the vase safe."   He did that as well and handed it to Mac   "Perfectly clean and normal again."

The Chief of Detectives licked his lips.  "Do you do this on the job?"

"No.  I do my actual job on the job.  I don't use magic unless I have to get somewhere desperately, and the one day I had to change for a sudden court appearance. There's nothing magical that can help me match guns or help me find evidence.  The only thing I've been tempted to do, which I have not because it's not ethical, is to make someone confess when we know they did it and they aren't.  Again, that's not ethical.  I try very hard to stay on the side of the light."

"You talked of other selves?" the IAB officer asked.

"My friend basically did what amounts to a scrying across the universes to see other versions of herself and pulled my butt into it by accident.  The only known person who pulled this off went insane.  I did for about a week because suddenly I have the memories of all these other versions of me.  I took prompt action to get myself to someone who could help me and watch over me to make sure I didn't fully lose it and I didn't fully go dark side and kill people because of it.  That's why I have John actually.  He's my personal watcher."

"This forgetting to eat stuff? Hillbourne asked.

"Now and then I do get lost in the arguments they have in my head.  That and all this caused me to be stuffed with some extra energy.  I was bouncy before but this is worse.  I get caught up in doing something and completely don't realize I haven't eaten or slept in days.  John does a really good dad impersonation."

"Prove it," the Chief of Detectives demanded.  "This isn't real."  Xander manifested his wings, making him gape and back into Mac's wall with the flag and pictures.  "How?"

"One of the other mes, the same witch turned him into a higher level demon to handle something and well, I kept a safe refuge for harmless things but still had the wings.  My mate in that life liked them."  He unmanifested them when John beeped.  He wrote back a text message about what was going on and looked at him again.  "John.  He's under a compulsion to kill me if I slip sides."  He put the phone back into his pocket.  "Anything else you wanted to know?"

"You told Taylor this?"  Mac nodded. "Before you hired him?"

"I talked to him when he was in the academy.  I knew something about the subject before it happened thanks to a few cases.  I'm not going to hold him basically being possessed by other versions of himself and them being noisy now and then against him, sir.  He's an excellent ballistics tech.  He's a credit to this lab and I make sure that he does none of that at work unless it's necessary to save lives.  Like the day of the lab assault he knocked two out that way and got a few extra guns."

"These ones who have you under death threat?"

"Don't think I'm here anymore.  They think I left the country for somewhere warm."

"They put the bomb on your car."

"They put the bomb on the car of the ballistics tech that caught them and gave the critical evidence on who they were," Xander corrected.  "They have no idea I'm me, sir.  As I proved yesterday, when I run into one I'll take the steps necessary to protect myself and my teammates."

"What did you do yesterday?" the IAB officer asked.

"One of them saw me on the scene that Mac had me helping him on and I made him forget me."

"Basically an obliviate?"

"Yup.  Basically."

"Will they come here again?"

"Only if someone tells them I'm here and not somewhere warm and sunny.  Or if one spots me and I don't realize it.  John's agreed that a temporary 'you never saw me' now and then is ethical because it saves my life and keeps me from having to go to a higher level of defense that might get someone else, someone innocent, hurt."

"The day of the lab invasion we found a dirty cop had tuned him in for the money," Hillbourne told them.  "Three-quarters of a million is a lot of money for us."

"Why were you in the field?"

"We're down a tech and were pretty much down a tech before then, sir," Xander said.  "Mac's done the best he could but with CSI Burns no longer being with us, someone has to go answer body calls.  Yesterday was just my luck to find one next to the threat's meeting area.  Since they would have shot all of us, I did what was necessary to save us and the patrol officer with us.  Who did not see a thing," he told Hillbourne.

"Good.  That's the way I'd expect you to handle it.  Did the officer not see anything or did you take it from him?"

"Didn't see me wave my hand at all."

"Even better.  Keep it that way."

"I'm trying.  Unless we have a local apocalypse or someone sees something when I go to help handle the one in LA that's coming up soon, they shouldn't know anything if I haven't told them.  A few have found out, like a few ATF agents and you guys.  Is that one guy scared of me?"

"You give him a headache."

Xander nodded.  "Sometimes I give myself one."  Mac snickered at that.  "I do.  Especially when the other mes start to complain that I'm not dating a nice boy since most of them were gay."

Hillbourne laughed.  "I can see why."  He stood up.  "How much are you worth?"

"I don't know.  My ex got into my account recently so I have to check."  He logged on Mac's computer to look then let him see, making him swear.  "I did have more but she took some again."  He sent a mean thought to the vengeance demon over boyfriends screwed, making him go punish her. D'Hoffryn had said to handle it that way.  He reloaded it when he got the 'it's fixed, Harris' message from one of them.  He reloaded it and let him see with a grin. "Now she only has ten percent."

The Chief gaped.  "No wonder you can afford designer suits."

"I honestly got that one off-season on clearance.  Three hundred bucks," Xander told him.  "I knew I'd need a good one for court.  We went to Dallas for a weekend of shopping right before graduation so I could get good clothes that would look good to defense and prosecuting attorneys."

"You said fifty million on the stand," Hillbourne reminded him.

"I said at least fifty."

"Good.  That's not lying and it's not evading and looking suspicious," Hillbourne agreed.  Mac nodded that he agreed.  "How many more do you have?"

"About sixty.  I took one's advice and went shopping to relieve stress.  Plus redecorated my backup hiding spot that I had to go to last night because someone had been in my apartment."  He looked at the other IAB officer, who shook his head.  "That kinda sucks.  I wonder who was in there."  He saw a small, miniature demon appear and whispered to it, making it go torment Anya since it wanted him to be his.  "Anyway."  Mac gave him an odd look.  "Another who wanted me.  It thinks I'm beautiful when I'm mean."  He grinned sweetly.

"I'll spank you if you bring another one here to make me send them away," Hillbourne told him firmly.

"Hey, Mac called you.  I suggested he call the guy that already knew," Xander defended.  "Technically they were trying to bribe Mac and me so he could own me.  This one too.  I sent him after Anya to get that ten percent back.  It'll make him happy to go be mean and stop her."  The computer beeped and he reloaded it, finding it all back and then some.  "Hey, she got me interest."  He shut it down and looked at them.  "Any other questions or can I get back to matching guns to bullets and bad guys now?"

"Can a defense attorney use these other memories against us?" the Chief of Detectives asked.

"Why would they find out about them?" he asked plainly.  "If so, at the most they could say I have multiple personalities.  Which I can refute and point out that neither psych exam I had to pass to get into the program in Chicago or the academy here said I did.  Both of those were taken after I got them.  The one in Chicago they were more loud more often."

"That's good.  What about if you're called to testify?"

"Normally I'm a ballistics tech.  It's going to be doubtful that I'm going to be called, Chief.  If they do, I can avoid it or talk around it like I did that time.  That time they were comparing how scary the defense attorney wasn't and I told him I had been going over the case mentally.  Not a big problem."

"Fine.   I want you off the streets though."

"Sir, with all due respect, three of them were CSIs before.  All of us fought in many battles before we went to our ultimate later lives, like I did."  He swallowed air in shock.  He called up something, letting him see it.  "That's also me."  He stared, reading the short dossier on him.  He looked at the boy in horror.  He stared back.  "I can handle a situation better than anyone in this office but Mac and maybe some of the SWAT guys.  They won't be distracting me during it.  They'd cheer later, offer a few quiet suggestions when I got to a point I could hear them and use them, but nothing else.  I'm not a danger on the street or driving, Chief.  Though I do want to be a lab tech most of the time because it is safer and it means I don't have to run into the idiot Brits anytime soon.   Hopefully.  My second week here, we had one in on a consult about some pottery shards.  Mac had me taking a nap because I had been up all night clearing a Vice case that got turned over to ATF.  That's how he hid me then.  With the exception of the lab assault, which got handled pretty well I think, and they got told I had left the country afterward, they don't see me."

"Fine.  Taylor?"

"Sir, with us being without Aiden Burns, I have to use who I can.  He and Adam are rated for field work.  I don't want to but both have been in the field at least twice this week because I need to replace her.  I'm taking applications right now so it shouldn't be too long.  I do send him with someone skilled.  Just in case they do try to spot him and take him out."

"Is that why you're bruised?"  Hillbourne asked.

"He and I sparred last night for some stress relief," Xander said quietly.  He looked at the Chief.  "Mac knows I want to stay in the lab because I know it's safer for me.  We talked about this back when I was in the academy, Chief.  Really, he knew.  Most of the senior techs know who's after me.  Some found out on their own, some didn't.  One knew of my past life."  He shut that down and looked at him.  "Sorry, the spyware light went off. Someone was reading his monitor."

"You saw that how?"

"The little flashing icon on the side of the toolbar."  He pointed at it.  "That one."

"Oh.  I didn't know we had that."

Xander nodded.  "I think we all do.  Mine does too."

"Good to know.  Are you sure you're safe here?"

"Unless someone else turns me in for that bounty, yes.  Even if I am in the nicer, bigger apartment I had to redecorate."

"Tent spell?" the IAB officer asked.

"Yup.  Pretty nice bathroom too," he offered with a grin.  He looked at him.  "In a scummy building where my landlord had planted a bug.  We heard he'd try to blackmail someone.  I told Mac and he agreed I could have him arrested when he tried.  Are there any other concerns, sir, or can I go back to my normal levels of being paranoid?"

Mac's phone beeped with a message, making him look.  "Xander, turn on the tv."  Xander did that and whimpered.  "Go.  Now.  That's too big even for the National Guard and the Marines." Xander looked at him.  "Go.  If they spot you, we'll deal.  Come back as soon as you're done."  He nodded, disappearing from right there.  They saw him appear suddenly in view as he ran over to help John and Dean.  Sam was knocked out so he was floated out of the way to safety while they got back to work.  Mac watched, wincing when Xander pulled out artillery and shot it at something huge that was knocking down buildings.  "Adam!" he bellowed.  He came jogging in.  "Make sure Sheldon has a full kit here, just in case."

"Tell me that's not LA?" he begged.  "Please, Mac?"

"It is and he's there."  That got a nod and Adam went to tell the others.  They watched as more demons came out.  John hopped up onto a tank coming their way and shouted at the guy hanging out of the top, pointing at a building.  Xander hopped up and handed him something, opening his own case.  They both fired at the right building and it shimmied.  The tank fired and an airstrike was called in, decimating the building.  The demons stopped flowing.  The rest of the warriors went to mop them up.  He winced at the way the boy was limping and his arm was hanging limply at his side and bleeding thanks to a claw swipe.  He was still going though.  Mac coughed, pointing at one.  "That's John Winchester, the one with the compulsion who watches over Xander.  The tall ones are his sons, Dean and Sam," he said quietly, looking at his boss.  That got him looked at.  "They protect the boy and make sure he doesn't step over the line.  If Xander even thinks about it, John feels it and tells him to stop it then."

He nodded. "That compulsion?"

"John hunted those things for over twenty years, sir.  He can do it if he has to.  If not, the boy will if and when he realizes it."

"Good to know."  He went back to watching.  "Your boy's down."

"He's panting, he'll get up in a minute."  They watched as Xander got up and John yelled at him.  He yelled back and picked up a gun to open fire on them, reloading and moving on, picking his targets instead of spraying around.  A blonde girl came into the open and the demons tried to pounce her. The boy limped forward to help her with that, taking a sword off someone on the way.  Injured yet he attacked.  The blonde girl was freed.   They moved on together, Dean, John, and Sam backing them up.  Within an hour, the mop-up was done.  Three hours of fighting total was finally done.  They were all messy, bleeding, injured.  There were a lot of bodies.  Xander looked at the blonde and waved a little wave before disappearing with John.  They appeared in the office.  "Sheldon!" he yelled.  He came over to assess and check them over.  "John, hold still.  That stab wound is down into your chest wall.  Xander?"

Xander moaned from his spot on the floor.  "God I ache.  Make it quit?"

Mac knocked him out with a nerve pinch.  Adam and Sheldon ran in.  "They were in LA."

"Sid and I were watching that."  He moved to assess, getting paramedics for them.  "They're bad."

"Take them, make them better, Sheldon.  Stay with them until I can get there."  He  nodded.  The paramedics rushed in.  "Somehow they got here from there," he said with a point at the tv.  One gasped.  "That's LA.  Take them, they were in the battle."  That got a nod and Sheldon went since he was holding part of John's stomach closed.  Mac called Dean's phone.  "It's Mac.  They made it back here.  Sheldon's taking John to the hospital now because one of the stab wounds was in his chest wall and stomach.  He'll be fine, Dean.  I'll let you know when I have something.  Are you two okay?"  He smiled.  "Good.  I'll let him know.  No, he begged to make the pain stopped so I nerve pinched him.  You two be safe."  He hung up.  "Sir, for obvious reasons."

"I understand now.   You've got quite a tech there, Taylor."

"One I'm not losing, sir."

"As long as he can keep it subtle and safe."

"Agreed."  They left him so he could go to the ER.  He rushed out, heading to find Stella first.  "He's back from LA.  Sheldon took he and John both to the ER.  I'll be with them.  You're in charge."  He hurried off.  Those hadn't been superficial injuries.  When he got there, he could hear Xander complaining. "That's my CSI complaining," he told the nurse, pulling out his ID.

"Calm him down before we sedate him."  She let him back and he went that way.

"Calm down," he ordered as he walked in.  Xander looked at him.  "They'll tell you about John when they have something."

"You know him, sir?"  He pulled up his badge.  "He's an officer?"

"I'm a CSI," he said dryly. "Now please stitch my arm so I can go wait on John to get out of surgery!" he snarled.

"The one brought in with him is like a father to him and takes care of him," Mac told her.   "I'm the local contact for his sons."  She nodded at that.  "Is he all right?"

"He was taken up to surgery to close the wounds on his chest," she admitted.

"See, I need to be up there," Xander told her.

"You're in no shape, sir."

"Bullshit.  I've had worse than this and been jumped and fought back before.  It's only a few scratches and I can do all but my arm myself if I have to."  She huffed off.

"Don't make their jobs more difficult.  They see too much every day as is," Mac said firmly.

"I'm trying to make it less so I can go check on John!"

"Calm down," he ordered.  Xander slumped.  "The wounds were bad and a few were deep but nothing life-threatening.  The one on your stomach is worse than all of his but the one on his chest."

"I'm fine."  He tried to move but Mac stopped him.  "Mac," he warned.

"You will let yourself be treated or I will not let you come back until you're fully healed, all the scabs gone and all the wounds sealed," he ordered, staring him down.  "Let them stitch you and then we can go find out about John."  Xander growled.  "Don't make me smack you on the head, Xander," he said quietly.

"Whatever.  I'm fine."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be growling."  He moved closer.  "I understand the urge.  He still won't be out before you're stitched up.  So quit being a difficult patient."  Xander nodded at that, lips pressed together.  "Now, let's see where the nurse is."  She came back once he looked out there.  "How many stitches will he need?"

"I'll be at work tomorrow if John doesn't need me," Xander told him.

"You're taking a day off to let the battle urges settle," Mac retorted, staring him down.  "That way you're not jumpy.  I doubt you won't have painkillers so you can't drink or anything."

"I don't take painkillers."

"You will if you need them."  He gave him a look.  "Or I will tell Dean and Sam."

"None of us take painkillers, Mac.  I didn't when my arm was broken, I won't be for some big scratches."

"I wouldn't call a three-inch deep wound a scratch, sir," the nurse said.

Xander shrugged.  "I've had worse and had a friend stitch it."  He pointed at the scar.  She shuddered.  "I don't need painkillers.  Just some stitches please," he said calmly.  "Maybe an antibiotic if you feel it's necessary.  Then I need directed up to the surgical waiting area so I can check on my protector."

"I've put a call in to say that you're as close to family as it gets and his medical contact.  They'll let you know how it went when he's done."  She got the interning doctor to work on the stitching.  She swatted Xander's hand when he picked up a kit to open.  "You can't do your own in the hospital, sir."

"Sorry, ours was crappy and liked to kill people.  I've done many of my own."

"Did CPS come visit you often?"

"A few times.  My town had a high denial rate."  He grinned.  "Small town, rural america you know."

"Uh-huh."  The doctor got to work on the worst ones and then the more minor ones.  A few she got flinches.  "I can use some local."

"I'm fine."

"It's obvious it hurts, sir."

"So?"  He stared at her.  "I'm fine."

"You're stubborn," she countered.  "And wrong.  Local won't kill you unless you're allergic."

"I didn't have any at all when they took out my appendix at seven," he told her.  "Or when they had to go back in and clean it up because they screwed up.  A bit of a pinch is nothing.  I'm fine," he said calmly.

"Let her do the local," Mac said quietly.

Xander shook his head.  "I'm fine.  It's not even a concussion this time."  She sighed but finished up and let him sign out.  "Which way?"

"Elevators in the lobby," she said with a point.  She handed Mac the prescriptions she had gotten with the paperwork.  "Make him take the antibiotic.  Force the painkillers on him if you need to.  Or conceal it in food like you do with a puppy."  He smiled and followed.  She shook her head, going to tell her fellow nurses about that one.

Xander came off the elevator in the surgical waiting area, walking up to the desk.  "I'm family for John Winchester.  Is he out yet?"

She checked the board.  "Not yet, sir, but it looks like they'll be done soon.  Let's get you into a waiting area so the doctor can find you."  Mac came off the elevator and joined him.  "Family of Mr. Winchester as well?"

"This is my CSI."  He patted him on the uninjured side, watching the wince.  "He was just in the ER too," he said at her look.  That got a nod and they were put into a small waiting area.  He handed Xander the bottle of water.  "He'll be fine.  This is not the hospital from your town."

"I know but I still hate waiting."

"It'll probably be within the hour.  Sit."  Xander glared.  "Try, please?"  He sat then hopped back up after drinking.  Mac took the empty bottle and handed him another full one.  He got an odd look for it.  "You need the fluids.  You were bleeding."  Xander gulped it and tossed both bottles.  Mac timed it.  He had to pee in about ten minutes so he went to do that then came back to pace some more.  As soon as the doctor showed up Mac called Dean's phone.  "I have his other sons on the line," he offered.  He let Xander hold it while he and the doctor talked across the room.  Dean asked a few questions over the speaker function but that was to be expected.

It came down to John had about two hundred internal and external stitches and would be in overnight, if not for two days, and then he could go home to rest.  Xander finally relaxed.  The doctor asked him how it had happened.  Dean said something about a car accident and he let it go at that.  He left after telling them where recovery was.  Mac walked Xander up there once he had his phone back.  "See, I told you so.  I can give you a few days off so you can take care of him too," he said quietly as they walked.

"I'll be in until he comes home, then I'll take a day," Xander said calmly.

"That's fine.  If John needs you more we'll let you take some time."  He smiled at the nurse.  "We're family of John Winchester."

"He's in recovery bed 2.  He'll be awake in a while and you can see him then, sir.  Does he have a spouse?"

"She died over twenty years ago," Xander said quietly.

"All right.  Recovery visiting is family only."  He nodded at that.  She went to check and came back.  "He's coming around all right, boys."  She let them see him and then shooed them back to the waiting area.  When he was awake she let them back.  The younger one hugged him.  The man on the bed snarled something and the one standing told him to calm down.  She sighed, going to shoo them out.  "Some people have strange reactions to anesthesia."

"You're sure he's not possessed?" Xander asked with a slight grin.  He had blessed his IV so he was sure he was getting holy water to make sure he wasn't.

"Some people do growl and snap when they wake up.  We'll be moving him up to observation in a few minutes.  Once they get a bed open.  Why don't you get lunch and come back up there?"

"No, I'll wait," Xander told her.  He sat down, staring in there.

"Go eat," John called.

"Bite me.  I'm not leaving you in here alone, John."

He groaned.  Mac walked in there.  "He nearly did his own stitches, John.  You're both too stubborn for your own good.  I'm trying to keep him calm.  We've already talked to Dean and Sam.  So you stay calm and I'll help him smuggle real food up later."  John smiled slightly at that.  "Okay?"

"I can do that.  He all right?"

"He only needed a hundred-seventeen stitches.  He's refused a local while they were doing them and he nearly bit the nurse.  No.  He's too stubborn."

"Most hunters are that way.  The boys?"

"Sam's got a small concussion.  Dean's got mostly a lot of bruises.  They're both banged up but Dean said it was less than needing the ER.  They said to tell you Bobby had been knocked out too but he was less injured even if the military did evacuate him to an ER already.  Mostly a concussion he said.  They said they'd pack your place out there and Sam would drive your truck back."

"That's fine. I trust my boys, even that one out there pouting.  Javier."  He came in and stood beside the bed at parade rest.  "Be less stubborn, boy.  You can have painkillers."

"I don't need them.  I never did and I don't use them.  Even when they screwed up my appendix."

"You're pouting."

"I'm fine.  They took you to surgery."

John stared at him.  "Sammy's the mushy one but want a hug?"  Xander hugged him, giving him a gentle squeeze.  "I'm fine.  Dean said Bobby's fine.  Sammy's fine.  He's fine.  Relax and let it go, kid."  He patted him on the back.  The nurse came in scowling.  "Can I have my papers so I can go?"

"No.  You can't walk out of recovery."  She walked off to make a note in his chart.  The doctor ordered a judicious use of painkillers so he was knocked out when they moved him.  The boy ghosted behind them, his boss following.  It was good the young one had someone to straighten him out when he got pouty and stubborn like his father.

The nurse up there looked at them.  "If you're going to sneak him food, make it soft stuff so he can't puke it back up and make it high in protein and iron since he lost so much blood," she ordered.  "Dinner's in four hours."

Xander grinned.  "I like you, you're blunt, have sense, and don't nag."

"I will if you need it.  Go get your medicine filled and come back with dinner for you two."  Mac dragged the boy off to do that, letting her go fuss over his blankets and sheets.  "He's going to fuss you to death," she told him.

"Dean'll protect me," he slurred up at her.

She laughed.  "Not unless he's on his way here, Mr. Winchester.  Want some noise?  I'll turn on the tv for you."  He nodded slowly, letting her flip it on and him pick the hunting and fishing station.  "Figures."  She walked out to make a note in his chart.

***

Dean showed up a few days later looking exhausted.  Xander had been ordered to work by John and driven home by Mac who told him Xander had to stay home because he was too sore to work.  He knocked then walked in, looking around.  "This went better than I expected."  He headed for where he could hear complaining.  "Dad, I can hear you in the hall.  You okay?"

"He fusses worse than your mother."

"You got stabbed in the chest, Dad.  Be thankful I drive faster than Sammy does," he said bluntly.  "Suck it up."  His father grimaced.  "Tough.  I'm gonna do it too."  He looked at Xander, pulling him closer to look over.  "You're not immortal," he said.

"Yes I am.  Didn't you know that about the life with the hormones?" he quipped back with a grimace.

"You're not here.  Others could have backed up Buffy."

"It's my job."

"Was."

"If we're in the same battle it's my job."

"Fine.  Whatever."  He pushed him into a chair.  "Dad, how are you?"

"I'm fine.  I itch, a lot." Xander handed him the approved cream.  "Thanks, kiddo.  Need some for yours?"

"Mine'll be gone in a day," he said dryly.

"Not if you're not healed," both stubborn Winchester men ordered.  Dean blew a raspberry at his father.  "Need help, Dad?"

"Could, yes."  He let his son help him and Xander help too so he wouldn't be pouted at.  He hated being pouted at.  "Where is Sammy?"

"He dropped Bobby off at home.  They had towed his car on the back of the truck.   He's probably in Ohio right now."  That got a nod.  "He said he got stopped once and told the nice state trooper that we were fleeing LA and he was driving your truck to you."  That got another nod.  "Any care orders, Xander?"

"Just to rest and not scratch them.  His antibiotic is on the side table there.  So are is painkillers if he wants one.  Water's in the fridge in bottles."

"Good.  Hit your bed for a bit and rest.  I'll cover for you."  Xander pouted at him.  "You're just as bad.  Don't make me tuck you in and then tell Sammy you need fussed over."

"Why would he?" Xander asked, looking very confused.

"Because you're almost family now.  Hit your bunk."  Xander sighed but went to curl up in bed.  He looked at his father.  "Mac called to tell me what happened in the ER and with you."  He sat beside him in the chair Xander had been using.  "You sure you're okay?"

"The vicodin was nice but I don't need it, son."

"Fine.  I can understand that.  You're still gonna rest or I'm going to tell Sammy."  John moaned, sliding down so he could rest.  Sammy and Xander would tag-team fuss him to death if he didn't stop them.  "Good idea.  Want lunch?"

"I think we're out of groceries."

"You can get them ordered around here," he said dryly, going to check things and order them online with Xander's debit card.  Which declined.  He checked in the bedroom, looking at the bank.  The accounts were locked so he found a prepaid card and did it that way.  An hour later there was groceries so he could make lunch.  Not much, soup and sandwiches, but still good for them.  He carried some in to Xander, finding him pouting around his pillow.  "You want to eat?"

"No."

"Tough.  Get up and eat, Xander."  Xander sat up and let him hand him a plate and a glass of soda.  "Then you can come back and nag Dad some more with me."  Xander cheered up at that.  "I won't stop you fussing unless you need to rest too.  You were nearly as injured.  So don't argue with me, dude."  He went to deliver his father's food, making him dig in.  "He forget to feed you?" Dean teased.

"He made oatmeal for breakfast."

"The nurses said to keep you on soft food," Xander called.

"I'm fine now, kid.  You can come eat in here."  Xander came in and took his chair, eating from there.  He smiled.  "Call Sammy to make him quit worrying."

"I will in a minute.  Xander, what's with your debit card?  I ordered groceries on the prepaid one."

"Anya tried to get into it again.  I'm switching it over because of the theft she did."  He ate another bite of sandwich.  "You make good spoiling type food, Dean."

"Dude, that's not spoiling you.  That's normal people food."  He went to look in the kitchen and came back a minute later, handing him a cup of cocoa, getting a grin.  "That's closer to spoiling."

"Thank you."  He sipped and finished his lunch, leaning back.  "Mac got pissed that I said I didn't need painkillers."

"He didn't get local either," John said.

"I didn't need it. It only pinched a bit.  I could ignore it."

"Dad, you do the same damn thing," Dean reminded him.

"They kept him on vicodin while he was in there so he wouldn't fuss," Xander told him, getting an evil smirk back.  "So now we have vicodin for the emergency packs."

"That's good.  There's been times we could use it in the past."  He sat on the foot of his father's bed.  "Angel said to tell you the FBI handled the military and clued them in that something major was going to happen by the rumors they were hearing.  That's why they got there so fast with tanks and artillery.  Don said to never let him see one of us with artillery again.  I told him it wasn't ours, we were just borrowing it from another hunter.  He went to have a headache with his brother for lunch.  Angel said the cleanup went well.  Hardly any civilian damage outside of those buildings that got hit and a few in cars that didn't move when the demons came closer."

"People always stop to stare at accidents," Xander reminded him.

"Basically or they thought it was a Hollywood stunt and thought they might be captured as extras in the scene according to Wesley."  Xander snickered at that.  "The demon parts got cleaned up well enough and burned."  He looked at Xander.  "Buffy said to give you a hug and to smack you around for putting yourself in danger that way because you're still not a slayer - gun, badge, artillery, or wings doesn't make you one."

"Yay."

"I told her that'd be your response and she said she knew but apparently no one had reminded you you're mortal recently so she had to bust that bubble before you did something heroically stupid and got shot saving someone out here where she couldn't nag."  He smirked a little bit.  "Met Dawn.  She vowed to hunt you down and fuss over you until you gave up and just destroyed the council so you could come home.  Her mother made her stop it and she calmed down but wanted a postcard somehow, even magically if you could."

"Willow?  I don't remember seeing her."

"She was keeping Sunnydale from opening," John said.  "She finally tied herself to it."

Xander looked at him.  "She did?"

"She write you?"

"Pouting about you being mean and she'd find a way to unstick herself but she does say that it's tougher than you are on my bad thoughts when she has one."

"Yup, which is the point," John agreed.

Xander nodded.  "I can see why that would be useful.  If I go that way, we'll find me one in the Midwest and let you stick me to it."

"Not cute," John warned.

"Yes I am.  Dawn said so all the time."

"Dawn's a teenager.  She doesn't know anything yet," John said firmly.  Xander just grinned.  "Any other good news, son?"

"Sam said Bobby hugged his couch when he got home.  Bobby said your taste in music sucked and Sammy's i-Pod being hooked up sucked even worse."  John laughed, holding his chest since it hurt.  "They're all okay.  Everyone made it through, Xander."  He nodded at that.  "Dad got a lot of new contacts that slightly freaked us out.  Did you ever meet Lorne?"

"Cordelia talked about him a few times.  Suggested I should go sing for him.  If I had, I would've run that weekend."  John patted him on the head.  "Anyway, I can go back to work tomorrow if you want, John."

"Taylor said you're staying home for the rest of this week, kid."

"I can't.  People will go free."

"He said Danny's subbing and Chad's still doing nights.  There's no backlog and if things get that bad he'll let you come back sooner but you're staying here.  Or else he's going to send Stella to baby both of us and make us shoot her to get her to stop, which he'll kick our ass for."

"Good point."  He slumped down again, finishing his cocoa.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Not a problem.  Those living statue guards came in real handy.  Angel's delighted with them guarding the demon underground.  They keep stopping fights."  Xander grinned.  "Did you get back the rest of the artillery?"

"They're in the bag of stuff from the hospital," Xander said with a point.  He got them out and went to lock them back in the sanctuary's armory.  "I can sneak back, right?"

"I don't want to be fussed to death by Stella, Xander."

Xander pouted.  "But I miss my guns."

"Clean yours, mine, and Dean's," he ordered.  Xander went to do that.  He shook his head, calling Taylor.  "Xander wants to come back early.  Can he?"  He smirked at the complaint.  "Dean's here.  Sammy's nearly here, he should be here by tomorrow."  He laughed.  "Fine.  Cleaning guns.  Thanks, Taylor."  He looked around.  "Xander?"

"He snuck out, Dad," Dean called.  He came back, looking at him.  "We ever figure out who was in the house?"

"Nope.  Internal affairs said it wasn't them.  They admitted to the ones in the car but not the one in the house that was also PD issue."  He shrugged and winced.

"Dad, want something like an advil or aleeve?"

"Please."  He went to find the bottle, tossing it at him before he went back to playing in the armory.  John took two aleeve and slid down to go back to sleep.  He should nap before he had to spank Sammy for fussing too much.  Just like his mother would have.

***

Xander snuck into ballistics, looking at the guy in there.  "Hey, Adam."  He grabbed his coat and glasses, coming over to get back to work.

"Mac's gonna yell, Javier."

"No he's not.  Dean's back so he can take care of John and his stitches."

"What about yours?"

Xander gave him an odd look.  "They're not infecting and I'll be pulling them soon.  They're fine."

"Uh-huh."  He moved to the doorway, looking around.  "He's not here if you want to sneak out."  Xander gave him a shove, then closed the door behind him.  "I want to hide anyway," he agreed, going back to his own lab.  "The gun reports will be back soon, Stella."

She gave him a look.  "He snuck back again?"  Adam nodded.  "One of the boys back?"

"Dean is.  Sammy should be in soon."

"Then we'll let Mac spank him later when he catches him."  She went back to work, shaking her head.  They watched as the new girl went to the lab and frowned, trying the door.  "This could be bad."  She stomped their way.  "Use the delivery chute on the door.  That means either the tech isn't in or he's being moody and wants to be left alone to work in peace."

"I can hear he's in there.  There's music."

"Monroe, he has a hundred-seventeen new stitches he just got the other day.  He'll bite you if you try to interrupt him today.  Give him time to calm down from his grumpiness and then introduce yourself," Adam advised.  "Javier's a really nice guy, goofy and fun loving, but right now he'll bite.  He shoved me out and we're friends."

"Have you seen his new place?" Stella asked.

"Once.  Mac had me drag him home the last time he snuck in.  It's nicely decorated and bigger than it seems it should be.  With a killer bathroom and armory closet."

"Of course he does," she agreed, shaking her head.  She looked over as the door opened.  "Hmm, out of soda?" she guessed.  He came over with a report.  "Thank you, Javier.  Feeling better?"

"They're only stitches, Stella.  Nothing major."  He looked at the new girl.  "I do mysterious and mystical things in my lab.  If the door's shut, use the chute."

"I can work ballistics."

He smirked.  "So can I, it's my speciality.  I can also use a crossbow, a sword, artillery, shotguns...."  He changed it to a sweet grin, making her shiver.  "It usually means I'm concentrating and if you break my concentration I'll lose my train of thought.  Use the delivery chute and then come back in a few hours for reports if I haven't paged you or come to find you in person.  I do very quick work.  Chad's the same way when you work with him."  He looked at Stella.  "Three matches in the system.  It's a gun that makes you want to mug people.  In one case shoot their dog because they weren't cooperating."

"Another destroyed one from Chicago?"

"No, this one was ours out of Staten Island's lab.  So you get to tell Mac that they're screwing up.  We only have a few days to note that in the system or the Feds get mean."

"I'll talk to him about it," she promised.  "Go home.  You're on medical leave."

He snorted.  "For stitches?  Please!  I've fought with worse than this."  He went back to his lab and shut himself back in.

"He's a bit stubborn," Adam said.  "I noticed no t-shirt today."

"It probably hurts to pull one on," she pointed out.  She paged Mac's phone, letting him have an excuse to leave his meeting early.  Lindsay went to talk to the other techs about that one.  Mac stomped in.  She handed it over.  "Staten Island supposedly destroyed my gun, Mac."

He read the report.  "I see Javier's back."  He glared at the lab then went back to reading.  "Let me call over there, see what happened.  Don't report it to the system admin's until I hear something."

She nodded.  "He said we have a few days."

"That's long enough for us to find out and stomp someone if it's on purpose," he agreed, going to make that call.  He stopped in ballistics, watching the boy move.  "Go.  Home."

"Bite me."  He looked over.  "It's only stitches.  Dean's back so he can take care of John.  I don't even have painkillers in my system, Mac.  Let me work.  Shoo!   I need to work to feel good about myself."

"You need to go home.  If you don't, I'm going to add days onto your medical leave."

"You can't do that.  The higher ups won't like it."

"Yay.  Go home before I have Stella drag you."  He walked off, going to call the other lab and chew them a new one.  He saw Danny and Don heading for ballistics, Danny walking Xander off toward the elevator.  He smirked at that.  "Good job, boys."  He dialed, finding the head of the lab out.  Voicemail would have to do for now.  "It's Taylor in Manhattan Felony.  I need an immediate call back from you.  Our tech just found a gun you supposedly destroyed last year on a new crime scene."  He hung up and went to check ballistics, sealing it back up with the chute open but leaving a note for Chad in case he wondered.  Don came back up the halls.  "Danny driving him home?"

"Yup, sure is.  With a stop for something over the counter to knock him out before he nibbles on someone."

Adam leaned out.  "He politely told Lindsay to leave him alone if his lab door was closed.  To use the chute because he was concentrating and didn't want to lose it."

"That could be a good thing," Don agreed.

"She said she could work ballistics and he pointed out he could also work artillery, swords, crossbows...."  He let it trail off with a grin like his buddy had.  "She huffed off to talk to someone else.  We warned her he was sore and cranky first.  She'll learn to like him when he comes back happier and less cranky.  By the way, Dean sent Stella a text message warning her Xander had said he could pull his stitches in a few days, Mac."

"If he tries I'm adding another week to his medical leave," he said blandly, making Don laugh.  "Anything else for me, Adam?  Ballistics or not?"

"Not really.  Some on Stella's case but I was confused by the markings on that gun.  Apparently he knew what it meant when I didn't."

"It meant it was supposedly destroyed," Mac told him, getting a wince.  "I've got a call in over there."

"Sure, have fun chewing someone a new one, Mac."

"I usually don't but this time I might take out the bad mood on them."  He got a call from reception, going down to find Danny asleep on a couch.  He nudged him.  "Where is he?"

"Don't know," he complained, stretching.  "All I know is we came off the elevator and I felt really tired suddenly."

Mac groaned, going up to the ballistics lab.  Sure enough, it was locked and he could hear the keys clicking that meant the boy was in there.  Fortunately he had the master key for all the labs.  He found the door jammed.  "You know that's against fire regulations, open it," he ordered with a knock.  It didn't open. "Now, Elton."  The obstruction was removed so he could walk in.  "You are still on injury leave."

"Someone darted him in the reception area.  I didn't think it'd be safe in case they were aiming for me."  He held up the small dart.  "I'm running the fingerprint on it."  He handed it over.  "Smells like an herbal thing instead of a medicine one."

He walked it over to Adam.  "Have Sheldon check Danny.  Elton found that dart on him."  He went back to talk to him.  He found him looking at a few of the stitches.  He looked too.  "Another week for that to be sealed enough to not need them."  He looked at the boy.  "We still respect you, even though you're injured.  We've all been injured before.  We don't think any less of you because you got hurt saving LA's collective rear end."  The boy slumped.  "I know your girls probably nagged you to death when you got injured.  You probably got a lot of the 'normal guy' speeches when you got injured."

"Buffy sent Dean back with one."

"That's her narrow viewpoint.  We know you're human.  You've got incredible tolerance due to your training and past hunting.  You've got a good handle on how to handle every sort of injury you could think of probably.  We still believe you're extra special just because you're insane for sneaking in like that."  Xander gave him a sheepish grin.  "Would John be back at work this way?"  Xander nodded slowly.  "Is this a hunter thing?"

"He had to take care of the boys."

"Uh-huh.  You can afford a few days off.  You're even getting paid.  This isn't that.  This is you've had to prove yourself so many times that you're not used to letting yourself have time to heal.  Which you desperately need.  If you don't rest, the wounds won't heal as fast and then you'll have to keep the stitches for longer."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine.  Even Marines would admit they hurt, Javier."  He closed the door.  "I know you didn't have time to be hurt before and no one encouraged you to be achy and miserable back then.  Now, we want and need you to be that honest with us.  You're not as good or as fast when you're in this much pain."

"I can't feel it, Mac."

He frowned.  "You can't feel the stitches?"  Xander shrugged.  "At all?"

"A little bit.  It's like a little bit of pulling but nothing too bad."

"Did you take anything?"

"No.  I don't do that.  Ever.  Not even when they took out my appendix."

"So you told me in the ER.  Your parents should've sued that hospital."  He patted him on the head.  "Do you feel that?"  Xander nodded.  "Do yo feel this?" he asked, pinching him on the undamaged part of his arm.  That got a nod too.  "Do you feel this?"  He touched a stitched part."

"Feels the same as the last."

"That's not good."

"That's probably something like the forgetting to eat stuff," Don said as he came in.  "Danny's fine.  The blood Doc pulled showed up beautifully with the herbal knock out drug.  The tape from security showed who it was and they're in deep since it was an officer who walked off swearing when he didn't get him."  Xander nodded at that.  "So you left him down there?"

"If they didn't want him, he wasn't in any danger.  Plus, ya know, security and comfy places to sleep.  I came up to run the dart."

"If you had told us, we might've caught him."

"You're going to have to see why he wants me."

"Good point."  He went to check on that.  Sheldon had the name through the ID system and facial recognition.  He had it narrowed down to two.  "Are they twins?"

"Older and younger brother."

"Bring both in, ask 'em both," he decided, taking down their information and heading to get them.

Sheldon walked into ballistics a minute later.  "Let me see, Javier?"

"I'm fine.  They don't hurt, they're not infected.  I'm fine.  Really, Sheldon."

"They don't hurt?"  Xander shook his head.

"He said he can't feel the difference between unbruised places and the stitches."

"I'm hoping that's from the same thing that makes him forget to eat."

"It probably is," Xander agreed.  "But that means I'm fine to work since Dean has John and he can fuss over his daddy very well."

"If you have to be reminded to eat now and then, that's not healthy.  Neither is this."

"It's not like this when I'm not injured."

"Uh-huh."  He pulled him to his desk chair to look him over.  "I'll be damned, you really can't."  Xander shook his head.  "That means you have to take extra care not to damage it again."

"I can't do that in here."

"Gunpowder would."

"Lab coat.  And hey, button up shirt without being ordered to.  Very protected.  Monroe, this would be considered an administrative talk and we don't need help," he told her when he saw her listening.  She huffed off.  "Can I dislike her on general principles?"

"No," Mac said.  "Try to get along."  He came over.  "Should he work, Sheldon?"

"I'm worried he'll run into something and cut himself by accident.  Like that sharp table edge in the break room."

"Good point."

"I can watch out for that," he pointed out.  "I just ate so I don't need a break."

"I'd rather you spent the rest of the week at home.  Maybe by then some of them can be pulled and it'll ease that problem."

"But you'll get backed up again."

"I can work in here," Sheldon offered.  "So can Adam.  We won't let Lindsay in your lab."  Xander nodded at that.  "Or in your personal exemplar.  She was looking at them funny earlier but Adam ran her off so he could get to work."  Xander grinned at that. "Go home, give it a few more days to see if we can pull any of those."

"I can."

"How many times have you done your own?" Sheldon asked.

"All but when I got my appendix out and they screwed up so had to go back in and two Willow did for me out of her mom's textbooks."

Sheldon gave him an odd look.  "I want to kill your parents.  You mind?"

"No but I figure they made themselves miserable.  They're living their version of hell until they get to visit a more surreal version."

Sheldon grinned.  "I like that thought.  Call me in three days; I'll come check them to see if they can be pulled.  Okay?"  Xander nodded.  "If you can feel things normally then, we'll let you come back."  Xander pouted but nodded, taking off his coat.  "Good boy.  Need driven home or did you cab?"

"I cabbed but Danny has my house keys."

"I'll get them for you."  He went to get them from Danny's pocket, waking him slightly. "Getting him home."  Danny nodded, drifting off again.  He went to hand them to Mac.

Mac smiled.  "Thank you."  He walked Xander off, letting Sheldon close the door and open the chute again.  "Lindsay, I heard you were in ballistics earlier?"

"There's a lot of guns in there without tags," she complained.

"That's because they're mine," Xander told her.  "Not the lab's."  She gave him a funny look.  "You'll find a lot of the best ballistics techs do have at least a small collection.  Our private exemplar of guns we like a lot.  That's maybe a fifth of my collection."  She backed away from him.  "Don't touch my guns.  Did you move any?"

"One to the regular exemplar."

"I'll fix it.  I know which ones are yours," Mac said.  "Lindsay, he's going to be picky for a while with the pain he's in.  Even if he is stubborn.  For right now, let Sheldon and Adam run ballistics while you work in trace and fingerprints.  That way there's no conflicts."

"He's strange, Mac."

Xander snorted.  "I'm also rated for field work and I've done enough to get a second death threat against me for finding who had kidnaped someone, Lindsay.  I consider that a high badge of honor."  He stared her down, making her back off.  "Thank you.  I'll let you learn how to work with me when Mac finally lets me back.  Until then, Sheldon wants me out for a few more days."

"You nearly died," Adam reminded him.

"No I didn't."

"You were unconscious."

"I begged, the only time I've begged," Xander assured him.

Adam looked at him, taking off his shirt to look at the stitches, making Lindsay gag.  "He was in a small issue that came with knives."  She fled to get sick.  He looked at his buddy.  "There's days you make normal guys like me, Danny, Sheldon, Mac, and Don feel less than manly, Xander," he said quietly.  "Quit that.  I don't need my male ego blown."

Xander gave him a hug.  "I consider that a nice compliment.  Thank you, Adam."  Adam laughed, patting him on the back.  "Hey, that actually hurt.  That means I can go back to work, right?"

"No," Mac ordered.  He walked him off.  "Button it back up before someone complains.  Or Stella giggles."  Xander did that with a grumble of noise but they went down to take him home.  It was nice, he was only ten minutes away now.  He handed him to Dean when he opened the door.  "He was making some of the techs feel less than macho by already being back.  He can't feel the stitches.  Sheldon will check on him in three days.  If he's better he can come back.  Need handcuffs?"

"We have his."

"Good.  I'll see you with Sheldon, Xander."  He walked off shaking his head.

Dean walked him inside and put him in his dad's room.  "He can't feel the stitches?"

"Nope," Xander said.  "Feels like everything else.  Sheldon thinks it's the same thing with me forgetting to eat."

"Possibly," John agreed.  "Knock him out, Dean?"  Dean did that and they put him in his bed while John went to watch tv.  He was bored.  That way the boy couldn't sneak out.  Sam burst in a half hour later.  "Go nap with Xander, Sammy.  He's tired and trying not to be fussed over."

"Why are you out of bed already?  You nearly died!" he shouted.

"Son, I'm fine.  Shut up."

"I told Mac that, he didn't believe me," Xander said as he came out of John's room.  "That was mean."

"Shut up, kid.  Sammy, go fuss over Xander.  I've got Dean to fuss over me for now."  Sam gave him the pissed, pouty face that made him realize that his son was kind of like a girl with PMS sometimes.  "Son, take care of Xander since he won't take care of himself.  You and Dean can switch off later so you can fuss over me then."  Sam stomped off, dragging Xander back to his room to put him into bed.  He sighed n pleasure.  "That's better."

"He'll get you later," Dean warned.

"I'm fine."

"He says the same thing.  You don't believe him when he says it.  We feel the same way, Dad."

"Tough.  I'm your father and I say I'm fine."  Dean shot a dart at him, knocking him out.  "No fair," he slurred before passing out.

"Yay."  He carried him back to his bed and went to get Sammy so he could fuss over him.  "I darted him.  Want one for that one?"  Sam gave him an evil smirk so he darted Xander too, knocking him out.

"S'mean," Xander mumbled as Sam tucked him in.

"He's spent way too much time with Dad."  Sam laughed, going to fuss over their father.  Even if he did tie him to the bed so he couldn't get hurt again.  Sam came back to do the same to Xander then went to check the kitchen.  "I ordered groceries.  His account is locked thanks to Anya stealing some."

"Go get stuff for dinner.  Pasta, meat, that stuff."  Dean nodded, taking some cash to do that.  There was a store up the street.  He opened the window.  "Get milk too, Dean."  Dean waved a hand so he pulled back in and shut the window again, turning on the exhaust fans to air out the house.  He doubted they needed dirty New York air in their sores.

***

Don looked at his phone that night, laughing.  The others at the table in the bar looked over.  "Text from Javier.  Sammy tied me to the bed and it's not even for sex.  Help me please."  He let Mac see it.

"I'll check on him later," Mac decided, handing it back.

"Anyone taking bets on how long it takes Javier to chew her a new one?" Danny asked.

"Today," Adam told him, making him grin.  "He told her to stay out of his guns."  He took a sip of beer.  "He thought it was a compliment that I said he was robbing the rest of us of our macho egos."

"He grew up tough," Danny said.  "But he's more Rambo than I am every day."

"He's more stubborn than I am too," Stella told them.  "I thought I was the queen of stubborn until he came back the next day."

"John had told him to quit fussing.  He even called begging to let the kid come back to work so he wouldn't fuss over him."  Mac's phone rang with a plea for help too.  "Let me go check on him and John."  He got up and headed out, shaking his head the whole way to his car.   When he got there he found Lindsay Monroe trying to get past Sam to see him and get to know him better.  "Lindsay, what are you doing here?  Javier needs to rest."

"I thought we got off on the wrong foot so I'd see if he needed anything.  This one, I don't know who he is, won't let me talk to him."

"He's resting," Sam said firmly.  "He doesn't need company."

"Are you his boyfriend?" she asked.

"No.  My dad is his mentor."  She grimaced at that.  "Mac, please go tell Dad to quit fussing before I knock him out again?"

"I can do that, Sam."  He walked inside.

"This is much nicer than where I'm staying," Lindsay said since she had followed him.

"He redecorated while Dad was out of town."  She looked at him.  "He was just in LA."

"I saw that stunt gone wrong."

"Wasn't a stunt, sorry."  Mac came out of John's room.  "Is he going to stop fussing?"

"I told him if he complained too much you might call Stella in for ideas."  Sam let out a wicked sounding cackle.

"Please knock my baby brother out," Dean called.  "Before Dad ends up taking him out for going evil."

"He's not," Mac assured him.  Dean came to the door without a shirt on.  "No bigger injuries?"

"Head injury boy there has one but I'm mostly bruised.  A few minor scratches."  He nodded at the pitiful noises.  "I think Sammy tied him down to make him quit trying to get up."

"Sam, he can't feel the injuries," Mac complained, going to untie Xander.  The boy ran for the bathroom with a quick hug for him first.  He came out to the living room in his boxers.

"You're naked," Lindsay pointed out.

He stared at her.  "I'm at home.  If I want to run around in my underwear in my own home, I can do that."  She glared at him.  "Really."  Someone else knocked.  He went to open the door, grinning at Don and Danny.  "Thank the Goddess."

"Cute boxers," Don teased with a grin.  "Nearly as cute as some of the t-shirts."

"I'd put some logos on some but John would get mad when people want to look."  Danny laughed at that, nodding a bit. "Are you guys here to spring me?"

"No, sorry.  Just to check on you."  Don looked at the open stitches.  "Shouldn't those be covered?"

"They need to air out," Dean told him, getting a nod back.  "We'll cover them later for his shower and then so he can nap."  Xander gave him a head shake.  "You've got to sleep sometime, Javier."  He stared him down.  He was more stubborn than them.  He had to prove it but he could do that.  He had out stubborned Sammy, he could do it to Xander.

"So, Monroe, why are you over?" Danny asked.

"I thought I'd get to know our tech a bit better since we got off on the wrong foot.  Apparently he's still cranky."  She didn't see Mac and Dean giving Xander a look that said 'don't hit her'.   "What are you guys doing here?"

"Checking on him."

"Oh.  You're friends?"  Danny nodded.  "I guess that makes sense.  Taking breaks together and things."

"No, I take those with Adam.  I've known those two since the academy when I turned in a serial killer we had in my class."  She shuddered at that.  "I'm good with serial cases and their methodology.  I'm actually very good at hunting and obscure research."

"I can tell with how you said you can use a sword."  Xander pointed at the ones on the wall next to her, making her back away.  "They're big."

"They're sharp and I can use every single one," he said with a proud grin.  "And my battle axe."  He pointed at his baby.  She just gave him an odd look.  He looked at Mac.

"I think I've seen you working out with one and you did look good with it, Javier.  We should let you guys rest.   Come on, Lindsay.  I'll see you tomorrow, Danny."

"Doubt it, I'm off."  He nodded at Xander.  "Feel better?"

"I'm fine.  Mac's fussy.  I was doing fine when I came back earlier."

"Uh-huh," Don said.  "Keep it up, get spanked and I'll bring my Ma here to help Sam fuss."  Xander slumped into a chair at that.  "Good."  He nudged Danny.  "C'mon, he's okay.  We'll check on him tomorrow."

"I hope you feel better soon, Javier," Lindsay said.  "I do look forward to working with you."

"You too," Xander said with a grin.  "Have a good night."  She left with Mac.  He shuddered, getting a sympathy pat from Dean for having to deal with her.  They heard her out in the hallway.

"We have guys like that in Montana too, but usually the ATF guys are busting in their doors to arrest them.  Are you sure he's a sane, sensible tech, Mac?"  Xander shook his head, making Danny laugh.  They followed the other two out.

"You know, the local ATF office loves Javier," Danny told her smugly.  "His rookie ride-along time, his commander sent him on a Vice bust.  He went as a field CSI.  Came back with over thirty guns.  Spent all night working on them, went back to his next day's shift, came back to the lab to keep working on them.  When the local office took over, they watched him work and he presented them with a report in nearly record time.  Including guns that had been stolen from that group because he talked to the perps and got that list too."

She gaped.  "He did?"

Don nodded.  "Yup, lead back to a homicide on my desk."  He smirked.  "He's a great tech.  You just caught him on a shitty week."

"I can understand that.  We all have bad weeks now and then.  I'll see you guys tomorrow."  She went home to think over the new tech's surly nature.  Maybe he wasn't so nice but she could get along with him at work at the very least.  Everyone liked her.

"Bet you ten bucks he'll have locked her in a closet to get away from her within a month," Danny offered to Mac.

"Sucker bet," Don told him, shaking his head.

Mac shook his head.  "He'd better not."  They smirked at him.  "Have a good night, guys.  Try to rest, Danny.  It's going to be a long week."

"That's why I got tomorrow off," Danny said smartly, earning a smile from Mac.  Don took him home then headed for his own.  Mac went to his place and it was calm for a night.

***

Xander walked in the next day with someone in cuffs, dragging him past reception.  "Mac in or is Stella?"

"Mac's in, Javier.  Do you need help?  I know you're injured."

"No, he gives me shit, I'll shoot him."  She laughed at that.  He gave her a look.  "Not kidding."  He took him up to the office, dragging him off the elevator and down to Mac's office, shoving him down to his knees in front of the desk.  "This nice tech from Staten Island tried to break into my house to get my guns, Mac.  Would you have any idea why?"

"We think he's the gun leak out there.  Did he touch any?"

"Dean beat his ass before I could."  He looked down then at Mac.  "Have you kept her out of my exemplar here?"

"I have but you can check it after you give me a statement and before you go home."

"Thank you."  He took the form to fill out, handing it back with a grin.  "The receptionist thought I was too nice to shoot him."  He walked out, going to his lab.  "Checking on my babies.  One of the Staten Island techs broke into my house to steal my guns."  He looked in the cabinet then around.  "Uh-huh.  Mac!" he bellowed, bringing him running.  He pointed at the empty case.  "I think there's an obvious problem there.  Adam, did you take them down to clean them?"

"No."  He looked then winced.  "Maybe Chad moved them into the regular storage area?"  Xander went to look, coming back with six of the fifteen.  Mac went to help him look for the others.  Adam thoughtfully took them to run fingerprints.  What came up made him smirk and hand the sheet to Mac.  "He'll kill her."

"I told her not to touch his guns," he complained.  "Lindsay, my office," he ordered, making her flinch.  "Now."  He walked behind her.  Uniforms were there to arrest the CSI.  "Charge sheet's on my desk."

"Sir, will we need to pick this one up too or is she going to be arrested for other offenses?" one asked him.

"She violated lab protocol.  She won't be arrested this time." They nodded.  "Thank you, boys."  He waited until the crying tech had been dragged off.  "Why were you in ballistics rearranging things?"

"The exemplar's supposed to be in the cabinet.  That's what the night guy said."

"The guns you moved don't belong to the lab, Lindsay, they're his personal guns."  She went pale.  "Fortunately he has a list of what he has here so he has serial numbers on them and all their pertinent facts.  That way we can verify them."  He stared at her.  "If Chad had wanted them moved, he'd talk to Javier and ask him.  Since they both agreed his private collection can sit in that cabinet, that's where they belong until we get examples of them in our lab exemplar.  You don't go shifting things in another tech's lab."

"He was moving slowly and said he ached.  He asked me to put the guns from a test fire up so I thought I was being nice."

"Chad had his leg broken earlier this year.  He was out for a good long time because of it.  Stay out of ballistics."

Xander stomped in.  "One's missing that we can't find.  You picked up a lab-owned Desert Eagle fifty.  Mine's newer by two years."

"Do you remember where you put it, Lindsay?"

"I put all of them in there."

Xander called Chad from the desk phone.  "It's me.  Monroe decided my guns belonged in the exemplar cabinet for you.  I'm missing my Desert Eagle fifty.  Did you see it?"  He nodded, making a note on the scratch pad Mac handed him.  "Thanks, Chad.  Few more days but the Staten Island night shift ballistics tech tried to break into my house to steal my guns.  Yeah, I can look at that one since I'm here.  Sure thing.  Thanks, Chad."  He handed it to Mac.  "He said he had one out last night that may have been misboxed because she boxed it on him while he was taking something for his thigh.  I need you to check it, as protocol demands, while I look at the match he wanted me to look over."

"I can do that.  Let's go."  He glared at Lindsay, making her shrink back.  "Stay out of ballistics, Lindsay."

"Because I do spank hard and I do not hesitate," Xander assured her, stomping out again.  Adam had the bullets for him.  He settled in at his spare scope to look them over while Mac looked at the boxed guns.  "He said the other's listed as 'gun found in lab', Mac.  He said he checked and it wasn't mine."

"I found that one.  You're right, she boxed yours up.  Why didn't he check?"

"He was nearly stoned on the pain," Xander said, looking back at him.  "He fell the other night and I'm not so sure he didn't rebreak or at least partially rebreak that same spot."

"I'll have him go in for x-rays before shift."  He sat down to make a note on that box while he called Chad.  "You were right.  If you had told me I would've checked earlier."  He smiled.  "Javier said that, Chad.  I understand that sort of pain.  That's why I want you to get new x-rays before you come in.  Tomorrow?  No chance at the ER tonight?"  He nodded.  "I can see how that's going to be bad."  Xander thumped his head on the scope.  "Bad?"

"Not a match at all."  He took the phone.  "You're right, Chad.  Not a match.  Not even close to a match.  Like sixty percent.  Was it originally mine?"  He listened, looking up the case file with a groan.  "Shit.  Okay, I'll let him know.  Thanks, Chad.  Any others?"  He made notes on other cases he had seen.  "I have no idea.  I'll either look myself, have Mac look, or have Adam look since he's subbing while I'm out with stitches.  Mac said so even though I said I'm fine."  He grinned.  "Thanks, Chad.  Next time, let me know at the first one and I'll gladly do that for you.  I am this ballistics lab's protocol bitch."  Chad laughed.  "Have a good rest."  He hung up, waving Mac over.  "Look at the tech's name.  He caught an irregularity when he was inputting on the same gun and had the sample sent over."

"I didn't think Flack was a ballistics tech out of Staten Island."  Xander called up the other cases by that same tech's name and ID number, finding a few others.  He pulled up a few more based on case numbers and Mac groaned at the mismatches they were showing.  "I will handle this."

"Please, before I have to beat his ass."

"Granted."  He patted him gently on the back, getting a hiss.  "That's a good sign.  Let me have your gun cleaned and I'll have it put back, Javier.  That way she can't touch it."

He looked at Mac.  "She touches my babies again I get to spank, right?"

"We'll see," he said with a tolerant smile.  "Go home.  Rant at Dean and check your collection there, make sure nothing's missing."

"Yes, Mac."

"Good.  Adam, I want all these printed out and a note made in their files that they're being pulled for quality control inspections."  That got a nod.  "I'll have that tech brought here."

"Can I break bad on him?"

"No, I can make him cry and whine on my own.  Go home."  He nodded, trudging to do that.  "Lindsay is no longer allowed in here to help."

"I didn't want or need her help and Chad was probably distracted with this and the pain, Mac."

"I know.  That's what he said.  Can you pull a little bit of overtime if we get more?"

"Sure, not a problem.  Chad not coming in tonight?"  He shook his head.  "Okay.  You know, they say Dean Winchester is about as gun nut as Javier is."

"If he had the training I'd offer him Staten Island right about now.  I'm sure he'd whip them into shape the same way Javier is."  Adam grinned and nodded.  "Let me know if you find any others."

"I can do that."  He watched Mac walk off.  "I need popcorn for that interrogation."  He called Don Flack to give him a head's up.  "Someone was using your badge and name to log in ballistics samples done wrongly in Staten Island.  Mac is.  Chad found it, had Javier verify one, and he about threw a fit since he dragged in another of their techs for breaking into his house to steal his guns.  Sure thing.  I'm here doing that for him.  You might be needed for a statement, yeah.  Check with Mac.  He's doing that."  He grinned and hung up.  Don was going to offer to get that tech for him apparently.  They were going to be brining chairs into observation so they could sit and munch while the guy begged and pleaded for his life.

***

Xander walked in and slammed the door.  "The other tech out there was mismatching guns and putting it in other names in the system.  Including Don Flack's.  Lindsay, from last night, kindly put my personal exemplar into the lab-owned exemplar cabinet and one into an evidence box, the wrong box.  If Chad hadn't realized, even stoned on the pain he's in, it would've been destroyed."  He snarled.  "Mac won't let me spank her.  Yet."

Dean gave him a pill.  "Mild, not very strong, will calm you down some so we can clean the stitches and then you can help me clean the guns, Xander."  Xander swallowed it dry and went to the sanctuary to kick a wall.

"He's going to kill her," Sam said.

"Probably," Dean agreed.

"I might let him for that.  I'm wondering if it was intentional tampering," John said.  He called Mac.  "I know you're busy but was her thing intentional tampering to discredit him or just damn fool stupidity?"  Mac said something and he smiled.  "Kicking a wall.  Yeah, he told us.  Please do, Mac."  He hung up.  "He thinks she was being stupid while trying to help Chad."  He looked at his oldest son.  "He said Adam suggested you could take the same training, son."

"If I ever get too tired of hunting I might.  Maybe he and I can take over a lab somewhere and be gun gods."  Sam snorted at that.  Dean picked up the ballistics magazine, pointing at the ratings they did of techs, their efficiency, their skills, and their competency test ratings.  Xander was in the top twenty.  "For a first year I'm guessing that's nearly unheard of."

"Possibly.  That should be hung up or saved or something."  Xander came back pouting.  "Did you see this?"

He glanced then nodded.  "Yeah.  I know I'm a gun geek."  He grinned.  "It's nice when others think so."

"You should save this or put it in a frame," Sam told him.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "It's probably unheard of for a first year CSI to make this list at all."

"Maybe.  I don't mind if you want to, Sam."  He went to the kitchen to make himself something to drink.  "Since I'm in here, anyone need something?"

"Not at the moment," John said.  "Let Dean clean those for you, kid."  Xander made a whining noise.  "It's that or an infection that'll keep you off work for longer."

"They finally hurt earlier."

"Good, it's about time you're as grumpy as Dad is," Sammy said with a grin.  He got up to finish the soda and ice cream float, handing it over and shooing Xander out while he put things up and did the dishes.  Dean took Xander into his bedroom to check the stitches for him.  He came out to get the peroxide and cotton balls then went back to clean them.  "He good?"

"He could use a few replaced.  One's gotten wet it looks like.  Another's looking gooey through the whole cut."  He tested it.  "Did that one maybe have poison, Xan?"

"Not that I know of."  He looked back.  "I don't remember what got me there.  It was when I was freeing Buffy."

"Maybe we can have someone at the lab test it," Dean said.  Xander grimaced but shook his head.  "If it's got poisons we'll have to counter it somehow.  You don't want Dad to mope if you die, right?  Because I'll beat your ass if you make Dad mope."

"Fine.  You might ask Sheldon.  He's a former ME and surgeon."

"I can do that."  He took a good swipe of it and put it into a bag he found in Xander's scene kit in the closet.  He used a swab he found on another nasty looking one as well, just in case it was a poison and not an infection starting.  Then he sat on Xander's back and cleaned all the cuts back there.  He let him flip over and let Sam hold him down so they could lean that one.  Another of them got the swab treatment too.  The pill he had given him finally knocked Xander out so they tucked him in and went to call Sheldon.  "Hey, Sheldon, Dean Winchester.  I was cleaning Javier's stitches and I noticed a few looked odd.  I was hoping nothing had poisoned claws or anything.  I did, I took a swab of two of them and used a cotton pad on the other.  In some of his bags from his kit.  He's knocked out, I drugged him," he said with a grin.  "Nah, on the way home would be fine, man.  I'm sure.  Thanks, Sheldon."  He hung up and looked at his father.  "Your turn."

"Mine are healing very well, Dean."

"Either you give in or I dart you again," Sam offered.  His father glared.  He found the dart gun and made sure it was loaded.  His father stomped into his room.  "Thank you for having common sense, Dad."  Dean smirked, going to clean them for him while Sam worked on dinner.  Xander's float went into the freezer for now but he'd want it later when Sheldon poked and checked him over.

***

"I thought you went home," Adam said as Sheldon came off the elevator.

"Dean asked me to look at a few of Javier's cuts.  Two are infecting and he thinks one had some poison in it.  I'm running to see what it is."

"Sure.  Need help?"

"I can do it.  Thanks, Adam."  Adam grinned and left while Sheldon went to run the samples, frowning at what came up.  "That's interesting."  He brought the results to Mac since he was doing paperwork.  "Would that sort of poison make a man that stubborn?"

"I think it's natural to him," he said as he looked up.  "Poison?"  He laid the forms out.  "Hell.  Can we treat it?"

"Probably.  I'll see if they know who would know how to do that."  That got a nod.  "I thought two were only infected but apparently the machine overruled me."

"They can do that," he agreed.  "Tell me if they have to take him back to the ER."

"I will."  He left with the sheets, taking them back to the guys' apartment.  Sam let him in and gave him a bottle of water. "Thanks, Sam."  He smiled at him then at Dean.  "Know someone who can take a breakdown of the poison and tell you how to treat it?"

"There's three good demon anti-toxins that I know of.  I can check with Wesley," he offered.

"The two I thought were infected came out just as filled with it."  He put down the forms.

Dean looked.  "I sucked in science."

Sam came over to look.  "That's still an infection, right?"

"Underneath the poison, yes."

"He's taking his antibiotics," Sam told him.  "I make sure of it even if I do have to hide it and drug him."

"We might need something stronger.  Let's see what we can do about this poison.  Would it make him that stubborn?"

"No, that's being a hunter," Dean assured him.  "We can't go to the ER, it draws attention.  The one in Sunnydale killed a lot of people for parts and blood.  Nearly him from what he said about his appendix surgery when he was seven."

"Wonderful.  Are they still operating?"  Dean nodded.  "I can have a word with someone who can turn them in.  Find out what he needs to be given so I know if I need to set up an IV or something, guys."

"We can do that," Sam assured him with a grin.  "Everything up to deeper level stitches really."

Sheldon stared.  "You're kidding."

"No.  Going to the ER draws attention we don't want," Dean told him.  He shifted some. "Dad's a pretty good field medic.  He taught us how to stitch, remove bullets, arrows, and pieces of metal when it came up."

"A few teeth that one time," Sam added.

"That too.  Plus a bear trap when he accidentally stepped on one," Dean agreed.  Sheldon gaped in horror.  He grinned.  "The pay's crap, the benefits are even worse, but you get to see evil bitches go away."

Sheldon shuddered.  "Okay then.  Let me know if you guys need medical help while you're here in New York, okay?  I won't say anything."  He left it to them.

"Call Wes and read those or fax those," Dean ordered, shifting again.

"Hemorrhoids?" Sam teased.

"No, bitch, I think that's your thing from the ass sex.  Mine's numb."

"Too much pinching?" Sam asked.

"Not enough women."  He got up to check on Xander, checking his forehead carefully.  Xander bit when you woke him up.  This time his wrist got a lick so he was happier.  "Just checking," he said quietly, leaving him alone.  Sam was babbling with Wesley.  "Do we need to find a mojo shop locally?"

"Top drawer of the entertainment center," John called from his bed.  They opened it and smirked at the first aid kit.  "Second layer of vials, the blue thing.  It's the one I used on you when you got bitten, Dean."

Dean took the phone to tell him about that one, getting clearance to use on Xander's injuries.  He found a clean needle and went to do that for him, then came back to tell him how it went.  They'd make sure he was fine after this was all done.  Then they could go back to hunting evil things.

The Many Mystical Mes 10.

Xander came back a week later, looking at his boss.  "Sheldon finally agreed with me."

"I think you wore him down," Mac said dryly.  "You know where your lab is."  He grinned and jogged that way.  Mac shook his head.  "Too much energy for a Monday."  He followed at the yelling, going to see what was wrong.  The kid pulled a gun and shot something, holding up the rat.  "That's not helpful in here."

"It was nibbling on an evidence envelope.  We need to do an autopsy."

"We can do that."  He took it Sheldon.  "It ate a bullet we think."

"Wonderful."  He grimaced.  "At least it's a clean kill."

"Do you think he could do anything else?"

"Hopefully not.  Is he coming in here once he's clear again?"

"Probably.  I'll tell maintenance to put out quick kill traps so we can check.  Plus tell evidence to check for rats."  He went to do that.

Sheldon found a scalpel and opened the rat carefully, taking out the bullet and putting it aside.  He probed gently, not finding anything else in there.  Or in the lower intestines.  "Good."  He put the scalpel in the sharps container and carried the corpse down to the incinerator to toss it in.  The bullet got brought back.  "I think this is yours."

"That one had a bullet, a tiny shard of one."  He looked.  "Oh, no."

"Yup."  He watched as the guy rinsed the bullet off and ran it through the system, coming up with a case name and number.  "There was a writeup a few months back from Las Vegas that went over a case that had a frozen meat bullet."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "They packed and froze hamburger into a bullet mold.  Used it to kill someone."

"Interesting."

"It was.  It went over how the ME distinguished it and all that."  Xander grinned at that.  "Let me check with Mac.  He was calling around."   Xander nodded so he left.  "He found where the bullet came from."

"Evidence," Xander called up the hall.  Mac's moan could be heard around the whole floor.  He walked in there.  "Want me to take a mini-crossbow and a few guns to hunt them down, Mac?"

"Please.  Clean kills, don't damage anything else if you can help it.  I'll have Stella help them check for rat marks."  He nodded, going to get what he needed.

"What are you doing?" Lindsay asked when she and Danny ran into him in the hallway.

"Rats," Danny said with a shudder.  He knew that was the only reason Mac would let Xander run around the lab with a loaded gun and a miniature crossbow that had small bolts attached to the grip for quick loading.

"I just got a bullet from one that had been in evidence lockup."

"Oh, damn," Danny moaned.

"He said I can hunt them down to kill them and Stella can check."

"Good for her; better her 'n me," he agreed.  "Have fun stalking."

"Thanks, I hope I will."  He presented himself to evidence with a manic grin.  "I got a bullet from a case out of a rat."

"We heard.  We have traps."

"Mine's faster.  Also, I need this case pulled," he said, writing down the information.  "Mac said Stella's on her way to help you guys."

"Why that one?"

"That's where the bullet came from."  They groaned but went to get that box and let him reseal the envelope inside another one that was plastic coated.  Small protection but slightly better.  He wrote a note on the top of the box with the date and handed it back.  Then he went to stalk in the shadows of all the shelves.  Hundreds of shelves with cardboard boxes full of stuff for the rats to nest on and nibble into.  He nodded at a maintenance guy, getting a funny look back but he held up his ID, just getting nodded at.  He left.  Xander paused and waited, dropping back into the hunting mindset.  He could hear the little filthy squeakers.  He stalked slowly closer, making sure his silencer was on.  He checked and came out, taking careful aim and firing on the rats.  They all died but one, which ran off.  He got it as it ran into a trap to hide.  It died no matter what.  He gathered them and moved on, stalking around the shadows.  Rats wouldn't like light.  He was a good hunter so he could do this.

He did pounce Stella, making her squeal and swat him but he grinned, handing her the box of rats.  She grimaced and swatted him again.  "Not a present a girl likes."

"Anya would have."

"Your ex isn't a normal girl."

"True, but she loved my wallet and my skills."

She swatted him again.  "I don't need details."

He grinned.  "Okay."  He stalked off.

"What are you doing?"

"Mac said I could hunt them.  I'm getting rusty on hunting skills."

She sighed, shaking her head as she carried the box of rats off.  She dropped the cages that had rats in them onto the box, letting them nibble on the dead ones for now.  She presented them to Mac.  "He's insane.  He's got a gun and a mini-crossbow down there hunting rats.  He even pounced me, Mac."

"He's having fun, Stella.  It's not often we'll get to let him hunt and track around here."

"Eww."

"Sorry.  Let Sheldon probe them for evidence.  How many boxes were compromised?"

"He marked about ten.  I've noted another fifteen.  Mostly nests."  She walked off to get back to work.  This was not how she wanted to spend her day off.  "Messer, if you're not busy come help me."  He groaned but came to help her.  "Sheldon, Mac has a box of rats for you to check and play ME with."

"Wonderful."  He had clearly spent too much time around Danny, he had sarcasm again.

"Javier's down there hunting them the old fashioned way."

"Of course he is."  He went to get the box of rats, frowning at the living ones.  "How should I kill you guys?"  He walked off with them, making Adam look disgusted.  "In evidence lockup."

"Not in my lab you're not.  Go use a layout room, Sheldon."

"Fine."  He went to do that.  They had magnifying lamps in some of them.  Long before he was done Stella was back with another live cageful.  "Gee, thanks."

"That's from the traps."

"Can't they kill them for me?"

"Sorry.  Not my call.  That was maintenance."  She walked off to go take a really long, hot shower.  Her skin felt dusty and like there was something crawling on it.

Xander showed up a few hours later with his new box of dead rats.  "Here you go, Sheldon.  All nicely dead and all that.  I added more traps down there so we should check for the next few days."

"Sure, I can do that.  I didn't want this before dinner."

"I'd help but I mangled my frog in biology."

"I'll have Sid or Marty help me."

"Hey, you are a rookie," Xander said with a grin.  "I got parts in an academy footlocker and a laundry bag."

"Never mind.  This isn't that bad.  I remember that case."  Xander grinned.  "That was your class?"

"Yeah.  Up the hall from me.  I turned in the old blood stench that his roomie thought was dirty socks."

"That's disgusting."

"Very.  Momma wouldn't let him be a trannie so he was changing people to the sex they should be."  He skipped off.

"Way to be Tackleberry," Don teased him.

Xander beamed.  "I love that compliment.  Thank you!"  He gave him a hug.  He went to find Mac.  "I killed eighty-two rats and one lizard thingy that I'm not sure what it was originally but it leapt out at me.  That's why it's got two holes.  Sheldon has it.  I added more traps from maintenance, including ones that kill them since they put out humane traps.  Don just gave me a great compliment by comparing me to Tackleberry and I'm done for the day, right?"

"Go take a shower," he agreed, smiling just a little bit.  Xander skipped out with his weapons to clean them.  He shook his head, going to check on Sheldon, finding Sid in there.  "How many total?"

"Hundreds of billions," Sheldon said dryly, giving him a dirty look.  "Sid's taking over for me.  Even though I can't eat right now I'm going to take a water break, Mac."

"That's fine, Sheldon.  They'll still be dead rats tomorrow."

"No, Stella kept bringing me live ones."

"We can kill them humanely," Sid assured him, taking the box to do that.  He found something in Xander's lab and went to put it into a fuming container.  It was airtight.  He set off the gas before tossing it inside, timing it until they all died.  "There, that's nicer."  He vented it through the exhaust system then grabbed the rats.  The gas canister could finish discharging.  "Mac, I used fingerprints to gas them with something from Javier's lab."

"Do I want to know what he has in that cabinet under his sink?"

"Probably not."

Mac went to check and smiled at the gas being used.  It was running out so he disposed of it properly and finished venting the chamber before going to look.

"That scarily looks like a serial killer's stockpile," Lindsay joked from the doorway.

"Sometimes it's necessary.  Today it was to kill the rats that invaded evidence."  She shuddered.  "Since you're here, go help Sid check the remains for evidence."

"Yes, Mac," she said, trudging off.  It was clear this was another rookie job.  She had more talent than this if they'd let her show it.  "Sid, Mac said you need help?"

"Yes, I'm afraid Squeaky here and all his kin decided to nest and eat in the evidence boxes."  She groaned.  "We have to check each one for stomach and intestinal contents."  He handed her a scalpel.  "They're all dead now."

"This is gross."

"True, but it is necessary.  It won't help if someone's case comes up and the evidence has been eaten and never found."

"Good point I guess."   She sat down on a stool, bending down to do that.  "What is that smell?"

"The gas I used to kill the live ones."

"Javier left live ones?"

"Maintenance put out humane traps.  We'll have to check them tomorrow and for the next few days."

"Can't the guys down there do that?"

"Yes but we'll still have to search for any evidence."  He got back to work, humming.  "You have quite expensive tastes, little one.  That is a diamond necklace."  He pulled it out and rinsed it off before putting it aside to be checked against the inventory so it could be put back.  "We do have some interesting artifacts of someone's life down there," he decided.  He checked that one for more evidence bits and then put it aside.  The Shift Commander walked in.  "Hello.  Come to see what the rats nibbled on?"

"I heard stories of one of this lab's people down there with a gun?"

"Elton from ballistics did," Sid agreed.  "Clean kills.  You might ask Mac.  He's still here somewhere."

"I can do that."  He looked at the pile of rats and moaned.  "How many?"

"Over two hundred all told.  Elton brought in eighty-two he said."

"Wonderful."

"Maintenance unfortunately put out humane traps so we've had to kill those up here, sir."

"I'll make sure they put out killing traps," he said, walking off to find Mac.  "Is your ballistics tech insane or just warped?"

"Slightly warped," he said without looking up. "I told him he could as long as there was no evidence or other damage."  He looked up.  "Beyond Stella's nerves because he pounced her to hand over some, he had a very happy day.  He hasn't had to hunt or track anything in months.  Did he do more damage?"

"He scared the crap out of the guys down there, Taylor."

"Then next time they should keep up their monthly rat checks," he said dryly.  "Elton hunts.  He was clear today so I let him have a treat.  He had a mini-crossbow too."

"A DA saw and called me."

"Did the DA hear why?"

"He said the kid presented him with a pregnant dead rat when he asked what he was doing."

Mac smiled.  "He wears smartass t-shirts under his button ups too."  The Shift Commander shook his head.  "He can track in the woods.  He didn't mean to freak anyone out.  He was having some fun hunting the little things."

"The other hundred and some?"

"Probably from the traps.  I know they put down traps."

"Your ME said they put down humane traps."

"I saw he had to kill some.  Stella and the guys down there were checking the traps and the boxes for the others.  Of course they gathered more since he was hunting on his own."

"Wasn't he recently on injury leave?"

"He was in LA and had to have a hundred-seventeen stitches.  They're mostly out at the moment.  It made him happy."

"Fine.  I don't want to know."

"Probably not.  I didn't.  It was a rare treat until we have a manhunt in the woods."

"I don't need to know."  He walked off to make that report.  The higher ups could be amused by that ballistics tech.  At least he hadn't caused any more damage.  Bonasera and the usual workers down there had caused some.

Mac finished his paperwork, sending Sam an email about that question.  That way they'd be warned if Xander hadn't babbled at them already.

***

Sam looked at his phone as it beeped.  "Xander's happy mood is because he got to hunt rats all day in evidence lockup."  Dean shuddered.  "He got eighty-two and got to freak people out."  He looked over.  "Mac said he had a gun and a mini-crossbow."

"It was the most fun I've had all year," Xander called from his room.   He came out changed and cleaned up.  "I got to stalk and hunt all day long."  He flopped down.  "Stella handed over a lot of live ones."

"Why were you doing this?" John asked.

"They were nibbling on evidence."  John whimpered.  "We can't use it to convict if it's in rat pellets."

"Good point, I guess," Dean agreed.  "Still gross."

"Very," Xander agreed.  "But Sheldon and now Sid and Lindsay are getting to dissect."

"I don't want to hear about that," John said quickly.  "It was bad enough when I had to hear about you doing your frog in biology."

Xander grinned and patted him on the arm.  "It'll be okay, John.  Be thankful I decided against medical school.  There you get cadavers."

"Shut up, Xander."

"Yes, John."  He settled in to watch tv with them.  He grinned at Dean.  "I got to pounce Stella and scare the crap out of her.  It's even dark and kinda creepy down there."

"Sammy could use the skill check," Dean offered.  "The next time you need it, bring him."

"Sure, I can do that."

"No you can't.  I doubt they'd let a non-officer do that," Sam said quickly.  Xander texted a message to Mac, getting Sam an email offer to come help the next time.  "Xander!"

Xander grinned.  "Anya said you torture friends and family for fun and giggles."

"Not us," Dean said.  "We get you back."

"Enough," John ordered.  "No more playing tonight."  Xander pouted.  "You quit."  He nodded, picking up his new journal to flip through since Dean was watching a car show.  He looked at Sam, getting a clueless look back from his son.  He glanced at Xander then back at him.  Sam gave him a dirty look.  He glared and glanced at the boy then back at him.  Sam got the point that it was a 'make him sane somehow' order so he got up and pulled Xander with him into the bedroom.

"Let me check the last few stitches, Xander."

"Sure, Sam.  Then we can prank your dad for his pointed hint that I should be loud with you."  Dean cackled as they closed the door.  Sam kissed him, making him moan.  "All you had to do was ask.  Don even gave me a great compliment, he called me Tackleberry."

Sam pushed him onto the bed, kissing him again.  "That's good, Xander."  He moved down to play with his throat, making him a happy boy.  A very happy boy a few minutes later when Sam moved lower to tease him.

John looked at the bedroom door at the loud noises coming out.  "Is he usually that loud?"

"Didn't let him bring girls home, Dad?" Dean teased with a grin.

"Hell no.  He likes dangerous things.  I didn't want to hunt and clean them from the apartment each time he wanted to date."  Dean laughed.  Xander got louder and suddenly it went quiet.  "Did he kill him?"

"I think he plugged the hole, Dad."  John blushed, going to his own room to hide from the noise.  Dean got comfortable, watching his show on Mustang racing and how they made concept cars.

***

Xander nearly skipped in the next morning.  Mac caught sight of his shirt and moaned. _9 out of 10 voices in my head agree that I'm sane_.  "Overshirt?" he asked impatiently.

"Locker," he replied instantly then grinned.  "Awww, can I hunt down the person who decided to crap in your speciality, all good grains cereal this morning for you, Mac?"

Mac stared at him.  "Do I have to worry about someone else coming to try to buy you today?"

"No, Sam can't really afford me yet, but I'm going to teach him alchemy one of these days."

"I don't want to know."  He walked off shaking his head.

"That means the shirt's effective," he reminded him.  "The stick up your ass is smaller," Xander muttered to himself.  He signed in and headed for the locker room, making Danny cackle when he read his shirt.  "I cheered Mac up too," he said with a grin.

"You made him go take something for his headache?  Good for you," Danny praised, clapping him on the arm, getting a hiss.  "Stitches?"

"No.  Sam was mean and bit me when I wiggled."

Danny gave him a look.  "TMI."

"Sorry.  John said the same thing at breakfast."

Danny walked out chuckling, heading to the lab.  "Hey, Mac, do I have a scene yet?" he called when he spotted him.

"Don't tempt them.  They're sleeping in today," Stella yelled from her work area.  She watched their young ballistics tech walk, making him turn around when he saw her looking.  She burst out laughing at his shirt, making Adam and Sheldon look too.

"I don't want to know," Sheldon decided.

"That so fits him," Adam giggled, leaning on the table. "I wonder which one disagrees."

"Overshirt," Mac called.

"I am.  I'm missing a button somewhere," he called back.  He found his stitching kit in the lab and worked on getting his spare button from the inside onto that empty spot, looking up at Mac.  "See, I'm fixing it."

"Uh-huh.  I see you have work today."

"I also see someone was in my lab and moved shit around.  I was about to yell about that."

"We had a temp tech from non-felony in last night."

"And they absolutely felt the need to rearrange things on me?"

"I don't know.  Let me check."  He went to his office, finding the note.  He brought it back.  "He filed a complaint that you have untagged guns, that you have a personal scene kit in here, that you have non-ballistics related chemicals in here?"  Xander pointed at the stuff under the table.  "Okay.  Also that you have food in your desk?"

"Now and then for when I forget to eat or I need a sudden bit of sugar."  He showed him.  "Well, it was here.  He can pay me back for that when he goes back to his own lab."

"Chad's back on leave for his leg, Javier."

"And?  I filled in last time and I can damn well do it again.  Send the stupid fuck back to his own lab.  I do not like people touching my twinkies, Mac."

Mac coughed.  "That sounded worse than it was."

"Or that either."  He got down to look.  "He was in my scene kit.  He opened things."  He held up a formerly sealed container.  "That means it has to be replaced."

"I'll talk to his supervisor."

Xander looked over.  "I can handle it, Mac.  If I need help, I'll ask."

"Fine.  We're coming up on the summer gun crime season."

"So?  I'm doing all my samples within a day right now.  Even if I get backed up, I'll work a few more hours."

"Fine but the first time you start to act overloaded or I get complained at like I did that one week, we'll get you a temporary helper for a day."

"Please make it someone who doesn't tamper and check my exemplar on the way out."  Mac checked and nodded it was fine then left to talk to that supervisor so she could talk to her person about being an idiot.  Xander sighed, settling in to work on his newest case.  It's not like he had tons of samples to sort through.  Even with the ten bullets the rats had eaten that he had to rematch, it wasn't that bad.  By the end of his shift he had most of it done.  He was walking around handing out reports when he saw someone go into his lab and walked in there to shove him back out.  "My lab, who are you?"

"You must be the tech that's screwing up," he said smartly, sneering at him.

"For your information, those untagged guns are *mine*, not the lab's."   The tech gave him a horrified look.  "I am rated as a field tech and yes I do occasionally need a snack.  I can sit at my desk and proofread reports while I nibble on something.  As for those other chemicals?  They're because I can use them.  My minor is in trace."  The man backed further away from him.  "I don't care what your whiny ass opinion is about *my* lab, but go back to yours before I beat you to death for getting into sealed containers in *my* scene kit."

"But... but..you're a rookie tech."

Stella walked up behind and pointed.  "Read that."  He walked in to read it then went pale.  "Elton, language and yelling issues.  Stop it.  I'm the only bitch allowed in this lab."

"Unless it's about protocol issues or my personal stuff in my own lab, go for it," he assured her with a grin.

"Good.  I'm glad we understand each other."

"He tried to have me suspended, Stella."

"I heard."  She walked the stunned tech out.  "Not only that but he has knowledge of ancient and artillery based weapons too.  He's updating on those skills."  She looked at him.  "Didn't Mac tell you you didn't have to come back tonight?  That Elton could handle it?"

"The Chief of Detectives said I was."

"He never cleared it with Mac or told me," Xander told him simply.  He handed Stella the stack of reports.  "Most of those are Monroe's or Danny's.   Wherever they're working right now."

"Upstairs."  She smiled when Mac and the Chief of Detectives came up.  "We had a small problem with Tech... Anders, right?"  He smiled and nodded.  "Thinking he rules ballistics and Elton."

"Anders does have seniority."

"Elton is rated higher by the Feds," Stella told him, making him scowl.  She got the framed article down and showed it to him.

"John's son Sam framed that for me when he found it," Xander said, grinning at Mac.  "I kinda snapped, I admit it and I'll be spanked or work a day without pay, Mac."

"With the way he broke into sealed containers in your scene kit, I'm sure you had a reason to.  Also, you'll be putting back the food he had in that one drawer.  He is allowed to since he does forget to eat now and then for days on end."  The tech's mouth fell open.  "Something in his early training which you don't need to know about.  I'm very sure Javier doesn't break any protocol in any manual.  He's quoted chapter and verse to another tech."  Stella handed him the reports.  "Danny and Lindsay's?"

"And one for Flack since he had that dropped gun on his porch.  It was clean and registered but the owner had just been arrested for domestic violence against her husband so I'm guessing he was taking it out of his harm's way."

"I'll let him know that.  Are you clear?"

"Within one sample, and that's one I need to talk to the tech about.  It's gluey for some reason and I need to get permission to scrape it."

"Which tech?"

"Hermosa."

"I saw her up the hall."

"I was going to deliver reports when I saw him walk into my lab like he owns it."

"No, it's your lab.  Chad may be on leave but I agree.  You're clearing all the guns the same day.  Unless we have a sudden backlog that slows things down you're good to cover, Javier."  He looked at the Chief of Detectives.  "He's one of our most speedy, accurate techs because he can type pretty fast and does shorter reports instead of longer, wordy ones."

"Which I heard the prosecutors like," Danny said as he walked up to them.  "Hey, Anders.  Any of those mine?"  Mac handed over the stack, getting one back.  "Thanks, guys.  Javier, anything good before I look?"

"Six matches out of nine.  The other three had two listed but not to any living person and one had a match for a bullet but the case was still open after two years and the gun wasn't in the system."

"Wonderful.  Thanks, man."

"Welcome.  Those are Lindsay's too."

"She's mostly on the same cases."

"She sent me two with just her initials."

He looked again, finding them.  "Huh, she did."  He looked at him.  "Good remembering.   You clear?  I think someone used something like a pointy stick and Sid disagrees with me."

"Let me make sure my lab's clean for the night and let Mac see that sample before I talk to Hermosa.  Then I'll meet you down there."

"Cool."  He walked off happier.  He went up to the next floor, handing her the pile.  "Your two are on top right now.  The rest are our nine samples."  He'd hand Flack his later.

She looked at hers.  "That's good to know.  I pulled the gun and bullets out of my new place's closet.  It was under the floor."

"Good catch."  He grinned as Stella walked in.  "He slap him yet?"

"No, Anders is pouting back to his supervisor to talk with Mac and him about breaking into his scene kit."

"He's really field rated?" Lindsay asked.

"With a minor in trace," Danny told her.  "He worked a scene back at the academy.  He did some on his ride-along.  He did some when we were hiring you and Doc.  He's multi talented."

"He agreed, he's only a noisy person about his lab and his things in his lab, plus the protocol in his lab," Stella told him.

Danny grinned.  "So he doesn't need your crown?"

"He'd better not but Mac's going to say something about his mouth probably.  He swore at Anders."

"I'd swear at Anders.  He's an asslicking little bastard who tried to have him suspended for having his scene kit ready in case we need him."

"He broke into his scene kit to open sealed containers," Stella told him, getting a moan and head shake from Danny.  "Yeah, he's in trouble and Javier didn't yell that much this time.  Did you see his t-shirt today?  The Chief of Detectives did and nearly had a seizure from swallowing his tongue."

"Yeah, during lunch," he agreed with a grin.  "It fits him really well."

"Uh-huh.  I'm agreeing with Mac about the need for a button up."

"He does, it keeps GSR off his shirts," Danny said with a one-sided shrug.

"Good point."  She walked off shaking her head.  "He headed for the morgue."

"Thanks."  He headed down there to talk to him.  "Hermosa in?"

"Yeah.  She took the bullet back to scrape it first then she'll send it back."  That got a nod from him.  "It had gluey stuff on it.  I didn't want to destroy evidence and that's protocol."

"It is.  Hey, Sid, pulling out mine," he called.  Sid pointed at an occupied table.  "Thanks."  He let him see the marks.  He noticed the gloves and smiled.  "See, stab wound with a sharp, pointy thing.  We found wood.  It's not a staking injury I don't think unless they missed."

Xander looked then got a rod to measure depth and angle.  "It's too thin for a stake unless they're the size of a heel."  He considered it then grinned.  "Did you see the fashion show last week?"

"I don't do those things."

"Well, one had these shoes on," he said, moving to the nearest computer to log onto the internet and find them, letting him see.  They were basically very small blunt points at the end of the wooden stiletto heel.  "That's not the same shape, right?"

"Not quite.  The end's still pointier than that."  He grimaced and went back to look.  Danny looked at the shoes.  "Those look like they hurt."

"Yeah, they probably would."  He stared at the hole, then around.  "Can we cast it?"

Sid brought it over.  "One step ahead of you."

Xander looked at it, turning it into proper side down.  "Were they up on something?  That's a downward angle.  Unless they were doing it to themselves but that would be a more steep angle, right?" he asked Sid.

"Usually, yes.  I thought they might've been somewhere higher and accidentally ran into it as well but I couldn't be sure.  Maybe being prodded before they were killed? Something like that?"

Xander looked at it.  "Was it a fast, hard injury or a slow injury?"

"Fast, hard, and not very deep.  The skin that was torn wasn't torn much beyond the radius of the wound.  With the point being sharpish but not really sharp, it would've had to tear through the skin."

Xander looked then closed his eyes, imaging that wound and how it got there.  He opened his eyes.  "Did we find any animal fur on his clothes?"

"He was found naked."

"Would the way his legs are splayed like that mean he did something like riding horses?  That could be a lance point.  It almost seems to get bigger.  Like maybe he fell onto one that was being held?"

Danny stared at him for a second.  Then at Sid.  "You said his hips showed splaying?"

"I did.  That is one reason.  The width would indicate a larger, draft type horse if that's the reason.  Which knights would ride due to their armor."

"Also, strap bruises," Xander said with a point.  "That's where you do bra straps and chestplate straps.  There, and here," he said, pointing at another set of marks.  He looked up.  "So maybe it was a lance.  He fell off a horse or a stage onto one that was being held or somehow being held up."

"Falling forward would account for that angle," Danny admitted, taking the cast to look at it.  "I can see why you think it's getting bigger.  Do we have an ID, Sid?"

"Not from me."

"So let's take it to the Renfair in the Park people," Danny decided, grinning at Xander.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome.  You might also try the local SCA chapter.  They're sometimes the same but not always."  He looked at his hands.  "He must wear gloves.  There's no sword calluses.  That's a soda cap callus."  He let them see his.  "These are from my axe," he said with a point.  They nodded.  "This rub here in the frog between his thumb and forefinger I have no idea of why."

"You can hold your reins that way when you ride," Lindsay said as she walked over.  She looked, comparing it to her hands.  "He must've been wearing gloves but the calluses except for this one here are the same as mine and I do ride."

"That's a soda bottle cap callus," Xander told her. "From holding and opening two-liters and twenty-ounces."  She nodded at that.  He handed back the cast of the wound.  "So maybe like a parade rider for them?  Somehow he fell onto he lance or something?  Or a flag pole could end up like that.  Maybe a portcullis gateway rod?  I don't know."

"I can check that, see if they'd know," Danny said.  "Good thinking."

"Thank you."  He grinned.  "Let me go get chewed on by Mac for swearing at the idiot who threw out my emergency twinkies."  He left, going back up to his office.  "Are you going to yell or suspend me?"

"No.  You had every right to get him out and yell at him.  I do want you to work on your language.  I know many Marines who swear less."

"Sorry, the guy who possessed me that Halloween was Army and a former Ranger."

Mac cracked a smile.  "I know sailors who swear less than you and Dean do.  Work on that."

"Yes, Mac.  I may've helped Danny.  Hermosa said she'd scape it and send it back to me tomorrow."

"That's fine.  We'll find someone competent who doesn't beg to play politics with the higher ups if you need a day off."

Xander shrugged, leaning against the doorway.  "As long as no one touches my guns...."

"I know.  They're your babies."  Xander nodded.  "Did you ever think about getting a pet?"

"John said it'd be hard if we had to suddenly move and forgot the cat.  Plus they don't travel easily.  I'd love a dog."

"Talk to him about it since you're fairly settled."  Xander beamed.  "I saw that article.  Good job."

"Thank you.  Sam had it framed for me."

"It's one of those things you celebrate.  Even when you're not used to praise.  It's like making the Tech's Honor Roll."

"I know.  I didn't want to seem like I was bragging."

"We'd forgive you for that one.  Speaking of, yearly certification?"

"I did it two weeks ago.  I should be hearing it soon.  I did it at the ATF office."

"Huh.  I'll call and check.  Do you think you did okay?"

"They gave me pretty basic guns and I found all they wanted to know within the time limit.  I was taking a drink break in the corner when they came in.  One gave me a dirty look but found all my work done so he stomped off.  Unless they're being petty."

"I'd hope not.  Who gave it?"

"Pierson."

"I'll call but those are states.  You need to redo your federal as well?"

Xander nodded.  "I take that in DC in two weeks?"  Mac nodded.  "Okay.  John knows already.  It's taped to the fridge.  Can I have interns if I stay a few more years?  I remembered I liked to teach them.  Even if I did get called scary and a bit warping."

"We'll see."  Xander grinned and left.  Mac made that note as well.  Then he called over there because he should have heard back by now.  "Bill, Mac Taylor.  My ballistics tech did his state qualification through you guys and Pierson?"  He hummed.  "Why are the scores invalidated?  He said he was in the corner.  Already finished as well."  He leaned back slightly.  "I can tell him that.  Is he in trouble?"  He texted him to come back up.  He came jogging up.  "Here, you talk to him?"  He handed over the phone.  "That's a supervisor over the labs."

"Sir, this is Elton."  He listened.  "No, that was also me, sir.  I had to change my identity due to a death threat.  They knew that.  Remember when the University of Chicago got a few teachers taken hostage a few years back?  They wanted me.  Yes, that death threat," he agreed with a grimace.  "That would also be me but I can't be that me while they're being them.  Yes, I did make note of that situation on my federal qualifications and the interviewer asked me why so I told him the truth about the Council wanting me dead."  Mac gave him a funny look.

"He already heard."  He went back to listening.  "He did know, sir.  I'm still listed in the files too."  He waited while he looked him up.  "Yes, the Federal interviewer for my certification did pass that up in a sealed note.  My teachers told them.  I told them because I didn't want to hide any of it.  Only the reason for it being out there since they didn't need to know."  He listened to him, sitting down to lean on the front of Mac's desk.  "That's not real fair since they said it wasn't a problem, sir."  He handed it back.  "He said I'm not qualified now since the Federal people knew."

"Bill."  He listened.  "No that's not the situation."  He listened to something.  "That's not him.  That's his guardian's sons."  He glared at Xander.  "I'll talk with him about that in a few minutes.  No, he's being guarded by John, not Dean and Sam.  Yes I'm sure.  And he'll be telling them about fixing that later I'm sure."

Xander took the phone back.  "Sir, if you know who I really am and who they really are, then you know why they're doing it and you know it doesn't pay anything.  No, I have money.  Without that I still have money.  Mad cursebreaker skills," he said blandly.  "Yes, of that sort."  He grinned.  "That is how I had it, yes.   Sir, to be blunt, if the Federal certification board said so, then can you really override it?"  He smirked and laughed a bit. "You can try.  I still have that sealed note and I still have an FBI agent who knows what went on.  He debriefed us after we took down that project, sir."

He gave Mac a smug look, writing a note, getting a grimace back.   Someone didn't like him for being there when the Initiative went down.  "That's fine, sir, but I didn't do that.  That was her, not me.  If so, I'll go around you so you don't feel the need to intervene.  After all, they wouldn't have tortured people and children if you had done your jobs sooner."  He hung up and called a contact he knew.  "Hi, it's me.  Yes, Harris.  Small problem.  The ATF supervisor here that I did my state qualifications through knew about the Initiative mess."  Danny walked past and closed the office door for them.

"Yes, he's trying my patience.  Mac seems to think he's generally a good guy but he tried to have me blocked due to the identity thing.  I'm doing that in two weeks.  I can do that. When is it being sat?"  He made another note, pushing it to Mac, who nodded.  "Mac said I can go to that one instead.  Will they know?"  He grinned.  "State and Fed at the same time?  I can definitely do that.  Dude, I can do some of them in the dark by feel.  You know that.  Also, he knew about hunters.  He didn't like John's kids.  Thanks, Billiam.  Happier night.  See you then."  He hung up and put the phone back where it should be.   "They're sitting new CSI qualifications then.  He'll do mine personally for state and fed."  He stood up.  "I've been giving Dean money so he doesn't have to."

"Make sure it's gone from the system.  It looks bad on you."

"If I had a list, I'd pay it off for them, Mac."  They shared a look.  "I'll talk to John later."

"Let me talk to John.  You relax and study."

"Study what?"  He gave him a look.  "I'm sitting my A level bombs that same day by the way.  He said so and he's bomb unit at the ATF in DC.  He said he'll call the local guys to chew on them for dinner."  He walked off.  The drive home as uncomplicated tonight so he walked in and looked at John.  "Mac said to take him for a beer."

"Why?"

"Because the local ATF office has someone who has heard about hunters and has a hard-on to catch you guys doing bad things.  He told Mac about the income generation method you guys used before."

"Aw, crap," Dean muttered.

Xander looked at him.  "I'll gladly fund you guys so you don't get arrested for it, Dean.  Not like I'm really immortal and I'll need it to make myself comfortable in a few dozen centuries."

"I'll talk with Taylor about what we can do about that issue," John said, standing up to find his boots.  "That way it doesn't get you looked at oddly by the Feds."

Xander snorted.  "Like I care, John.  They're Feds.  Half of them are less competent than the guy who subbed in my lab last night and screwed my scene kit up."

John winced.  "So you have to refill it again?"

"Yuppers."

"Damn.  That's an expensive shopping trip."

"I've got cash," he reminded him.

"Account's still locked."

"In this identity.  My last one's isn't."  John gaped so he handed his old ID card to Dean.  "Yours."

"I can't."

"You can.  It might mean the Watchers might show up but you're obviously not me.  Tell them I gave you my old one since I'm not using it."  He looked at John with a grin.  "I had two accounts left in Chicago that I didn't move.  There should be more than enough for the next five or so years of hunting, ten if they're really frugal."

"I can't," Dean told him, pushing it back.

Xander popped him on the forehead with the heel of his hand.  "You can because you'd hate prison sex."

"Son, it's not a bad idea.  Hold onto it until I talk to Taylor about this."  He looked at Xander.  "Have they said anything before this?"

"One of the interviewers gave me a long look when they saw you with me, asking if I was a son.  I told him no, you were protecting me from the people who were trying to kill me.  He left it there.  They have a sealed note about the identity problem and I did have them put on there that I'd be handing it to someone in need, but in a non-criminal way, once I considered it safer.  I thought it'd be someone like an abused spouse."

"Let me plot with Taylor, see what we can do, kids.  Dean, make sure he's fine."  Dean nodded.  He left, calling him on the way down to his truck.  He realized what was still in it and went to get Xander's keys instead and take his car.  He didn't want to show up to talk to Taylor with heavy weapons in the back of his truck.

Dean looked at him.  "They can still say I stole it."

"I can verify that you didn't.  That you got messed up with the death threat against me."  He sat down.  "We'll figure it out, Dean."

"I guess we will.  Why didn't you move it?"

"I figured whoever I gave it to would be someone like an abused spouse."

"Which is the sorta guy you are."

Xander grinned.  "Now you need it more."

"I'm sorry we got you in trouble."

"You haven't.  The testing panel has my original ID on that sealed note too."  Dean stared.  "I have a sealed Federal file thanks to the takedown of the Initiative, Dean," he said quietly.  "They already knew that I know that life.  That's why my teachers noted the death threat to them and they asked bluntly about my other ID."

"I guess that makes sense.  Do you have one set up in case you have to run?"

"Yeah but it's all off-shore."  He texted that to John as an option.  Then he looked at him.  "Like I told Mac, if I have to pay it off to keep you guys out of jail, I will."

"It's not right for us to depend on you for that."

"It's not right we don't get thanks and the occasional paid job for it," he said bluntly.  "If you guys set up like those Ghost Chaser people you might get paid jobs."

"Dad throws unholy fits about them."

"Oh, I've heard," he said dryly.  "Set up as the modern day Ghostbusters?"  Dean laughed at that. "Start up a quiet consulting firm."

"Sammy might like that idea.  Research and consulting for ghost issues?"  Xander shrugged.  "I'll talk to Dad about that."  He sent that suggestion as well.   "Are you still feeling unsettled?"

"Yeah.  I still feel like something's going to happen."

"Here?"

"I didn't think so.  I had it before the invasion."  Dean nodded.  "Hand me my laptop?  I want to ghost around some of the more paranoid underground sites I've found over the years."

"Will they find you?"

"Nope.  They don't like computers."  He grinned as he logged onto a chat room he hadn't been on in two years.  Someone demanded he prove who he was so he told them.  And that he was undercover as a normal in real life now.  They agreed to keep him hush-hush and he asked the question he needed to know.  Which apocalypse hadn't happened yet.  What he got back chilled him.  "Oh, shit," he muttered.  He found his phone and hit a code into it, listening.  "Don, I'm at home and I'm seeing something really bad that's supposed to happen locally.  I'd call Mac but he and John are talking and I need some ethical guidance.  Because there's another one coming to Sunnydale at around the same time.  I'm on an underground chat side for the Paranoid Underground, Don.  They're saying something's coming here and they'd know.  I'm getting information."

He hung up as he put that in, telling them he played with guns for a PD lab.  They hissed at that.  He said if he could prevent it, he'd do that.  They only had to send him intel.  He gave them his current ID and they praised him for yelling at Anders.  Someone in the lab knew.  He questioned her and she admitted she was a lab tech in Queens.  He grinned and asked if she knew.  She said they wouldn't tell her.  Xander started a chat with one of the people who would absolutely know.  He didn't want to talk so Xander pointed out he knew enough to be considered an accomplis and if Xander had to save the world this time, he'd come after him that way.  Telling him meant he could work on it without busting any of them.  He got a bunch of information all at once, all that he had gathered on everything in his city.  He thanked him and asked which part was the most important so he could sort.  He gave him a sorting key then hung up and had him kicked off the site.  Xander logged back in and said thank you and to watch for his next adventure then left again.

Dean took the papers being printed out.  "What is this?"

"Intel reports from a contact that hacks internationally."  He took it to sort out by the key, getting up when someone pounded on his door.  "You could've just knocked.  Come see.  One of the guys hacks underground and internationally."

"Are we talking terrorists?  Because I have a date in twenty minutes uptown."

Xander let him see something.  "Possibly but we have a local apocalypse and one going on in Sunnydale soon, Don."

"Okay.  For now, see if you can find anything else.  Get Mac to look at it."  Xander nodded.  "He's a good strategist and he has people he can talk to quietly about things.  Warn them in Sunnydale.  Because if we need you here, you're going to have to choose."

"The Watchers might be prompting it," he said quietly.

"Then warn them and help us.  They can get help from the people who were in LA, right?"  Dean nodded at that.  "Good."  He looked over the reports, groaning at some.  "See Mac first thing, before your shift."

"Yes, Don.  Thank you.  Happy date."

"I hope so."  He left, calling Mac on his way to his car.  "Expect an incoming person early with information from a friend of a friend."  He hung up and hurried to drive to where his date would be waiting impatiently.  "Sorry, one of our techs got some information he had to share," he offered as he got out and handed the valet his keys.  "Had to stop there on the way in."  He took her arm, walking her inside the nice restaurant.

The Many Mystical Mes 11.

Xander walked in the next morning looking like he hadn't slept, showered, or changed.  "One of the people I talked to said it was looked into and said to be a hoax.  The others, who are all hackers and things, say it's not no matter what some idiot Fed in a suit thinks."  He handed it over.  "I sorted it out by area, I hope.  That's all the local things going on.  The last two are what's going on in Sunnydale."

"Can you warn them?"

"Giles doesn't believe in computers, Willow's grounded from hers."

"Anyone else have an account?  Or can you get it there like by owl mail?"

He sat up.  "Dawn."  He called the home phone, wincing at the time difference.  "Dawn, glow for me, accept incoming intel for Buffy.  It's an emergency.  Yes, like I sent you that letter, young lady.  I love you too.  It's really important, like an apocalypse is coming important."  She agreed so he hung up and concentrated, sending those to her.  He felt her squeal when an edge caught on fire but she put it out with some salt and it was good.  "Only caught an edge on fire," he said proudly.

"Good job."  He stared at him.  "What if they're at the same time?"

"I don't know.  That's why I was talking to Don before his date."

"He had to reschedule it due to a stakeout before," Mac told him.  He went back to reading.  "If they're right, this is very bad.  Which Fed disagreed?"

"My notes are on the back."  He looked, grimacing.  "Probably of Dawn's of course."  He sent that text message to her phone, getting her mother's promise to fax those pages to wherever he wanted.   He gave her the fax number in the office and she sent back a thank you, be safe.  He sent back a virtual hug and looked at him. "Office fax in a while.  Her mom can borrow one."  Mac smiled at that.  "I don't know what to do, Mac.  The Watchers might be creating one out there to draw me out and take out Buffy and Faith.  The one here may be really horrible.  I don't know what to do.  If I have to choose...."

"I understand, Xander.  It's a hard decision."  He nodded, slumping down some.  "Go home, let me look into this.  Take a shower and eat."

"I can do that here.  I'm too wired to head home.  Did you and John have a productive talk?"

"I've been talking to my contacts all night about that situation in St. Louis."  Xander grimaced.  "I don't know how to prove it."

"Would the skinwalker have his DNA?  Blood DNA?"

"Maybe not."  He grinned.  "That's not a bad suggestion.  Go shower and change."  He nodded, going to do that while Mac called in a contact.  "One of my techs has a few friends who hack underground," he said quietly.  "He got given some information that they all know is correct and one Fed has said isn't.  That is one of the situations, yes."  He listened.  "Are we sure?  Absolutely certain?"  He grimaced.  "I can do that.  That's not a problem. The current address they have is in Astoria."  He nodded.  "That was listed as their last one and they're moving soon.  Please.  I don't want this to happen here.  I can do that but I have more notes coming from where he called around to his contacts last night.

"I'm guessing, he didn't say exactly, just underground hackers who do it internationally.  Exactly.  My ballistics tech.  No he can't hack.  I imagine he found them because he is paranoid about his death threat situation.  Also, he's heard that there's going to be another apocalypse sort of thing in Sunnydale, out by LA.  He is.  You'd be right in that assumption of him knowing their missing person.  Please.  I'd love to meet for coffee.  How soon?"  He smiled.  "Good enough.  I should have the other notes by then."  He hung up and went back to looking them over.  There were six or seven things on those sheets he needed to have stopped.  He hoped his contact could separate out what they already knew about and had stopped.  If they had stopped any of it.

***

Xander ran into Don Flack that night, smiling at him.  "Thank you for offering wise advice."

"Did it help?"

"Not a whole lot.  The Watchers are prompting it but not making it go totally.  They know, I did tell them.  If my friends are right, they're going to be evacuating that part of the state."  Don shuddered.  "If they're right about here, we're all screwed too.  So I'll help with this and then help where I can out there.  Maybe see if John, Dean, and Sam can go fill in for me."

"That's not a bad idea," Don agreed.  "What's going on here?"

"Oh, six, seven really bad things.  I'm off to sneak around and check something for Mac."

"You need backup."

"No, I'm not doing legal evidence gathering.  I'm checking on locations."  He grinned.  "Like I did while hunting, Don.  Like the day with the rats."  He closed his locker and slid into his dark jacket.  "I'll see you tomorrow if Mac doesn't have a panicked call in later."  He left, putting his phone on silent for now.  If he turned it off, Mac wouldn't be able to track him.  The drive out to Astoria wasn't too easy tonight but it was rush hour.  He found the house in the notes, texting in the information he was seeing.  He snuck closer, checking for guards behind him.  He knocked out one guy watching him, using his cuffs on him and hiding him for now.  He moved closer to scout better.  Oh, they were in such trouble.  He snuck back, putting the guy into his trunk while he called it in.

"Mac, I need SWAT and bomb squad in this location ASAP, QUIETLY.  Yeah, like they have keys.  Like the movie with Arnold and his wife as a spy, Mac.  Keys."  Mac choked and gasped.  "Please?  I can guess but I'm not that good."  He hung up and squatted down when more people came in from a car that was just pulling up the street.  He had been out of sight and being quiet.  The guy in the trunk was making more noise.  "I'll taze you," he hissed.  The guy shut up.  He saw the SWAT truck and pointed, getting a nod.  He mimicked what he saw and that got a second nod.  They formed up and moved in, him following them.

"NYPD, don't move!" the lead guy shouted as they broke in.  The bad guys reached for guns.  One reached for the key on the bomb.  Xander tackled him with a flying tackle.  He kicked at another one and he went down while SWAT got the rest down and out.

"Bomb's off," the bomb guy yelled.  "Get me a Fed!"

Xander let them take the guy he had tackled and probably broken a little bit.  "I've only seen one of these in the movies."

"Which one are you, sir?" he asked firmly.

"CSI Elton, ballistics under Taylor."  He held out a hand with a smile.  "I'm taking my A level bombs qualifications when I do my ballistics upgrade."  He shook his hand.  "We're sure it's off, right?"

"It's powered down."  Xander went limp.  "Any others in the house?"

"I only scouted from outside.  I had a friend give me intel to give to Mac last night.  The intel did say they're getting ready to move to Manchester for their final step.  They'd drive in from there for the unveiling as they were calling it.  Like taking off an improper woman's modesty veil."

"That's a bad analogy."

"They used it first."

"Good to know.  Taylor has it?"

"Yeah, and I have one in my trunk.  I caught him sneaking up behind me.  I told him if he didn't shut up I was going to taze him.  He shouldn't be able to get any weapons in there.  They're all hidden under the back seat."

"We can get him for you, Elton," he agreed.  "You hit the academy?"

"Yup, I was on that Vice sting that went ATF during my last week of ride-along."

"Good work."  He walked out to get the guy out of the trunk.  He tried to kick him so he pepper sprayed him.  He hauled him out to the truck, handing him over.  "He was in Elton's trunk because he caught him sneaking up behind him and decided he was one of them."

"If he's not I'm really sorry but I wasn't going to take that chance with what I saw inside," Xander told him.

"We agree with that.  I saw you on a Vice bust, right?"

"My last week of rookie ride-along."

"How did you know?"

"A friend who hacks found the intel.  I gave it to Taylor this morning.  There's another house set up in Manchester.  They were going to move there this week and then drive in to unveil it like tearing off an improper woman's modesty veil."

"Interesting analogy."

"The other guy didn't like it but they said it first," he offered with a small grin.

"It might give us more clues.  Any idea where in Manchester?"

"Ask Taylor, he was going over it.  He sent me to scout and when I saw the bomb I called because I've only seen those in movies."

"Good job."  He secured the prisoners and walked inside.  "Just the one huge bomb?"  The guys nodded.  "Let's clean it up.  Taylor's team is coming in as CSI."

"Got my field kit and first aid kit in the car," Xander quipped, cracking a few up.  "Sorry, ballistics.  I'll pet the pretty guns until they go away."  They smiled and finished up, calling Mac in to go over the house.  "I told them about Manchester, Mac."

"That's fine.  That's reasonable reporting.  They can talk to their guys up there to see if they have any idea if we can't find it here."  They nodded.  He looked at his team.  "This house held a small terrorist cell.  We are not saying a word to the press until someone higher up does.  We are going to check this house thoroughly and quietly, people.  I want everything they've ever done."  They nodded, getting to work.  "Elton, tag the weapons.  Danny, Stella, take upstairs.  Lindsay, basement.  I'll do the rest of this floor."  He nodded, moving to do that.  They had a team of cops there to guard the evidence they were pulling out of the house.

"Mac!" Lindsay yelled.  She looked over as Mac and then Xander came down the stairs. "That's a bomb.  I know it's a bomb.  The bomb squad guys are gone and that's a bomb."

"Shit," Xander said, moving around her.  "Lights, Lindsay, I need lights and tools.  Now."  Mac handed over his pocket knife while she focused her flashlight on the bomb's controls.  He looked then grimaced, taking it down to the casing.  That was easier.  He found the wires to the explosive, removing them then the one to the battery.  The timer stopped and the wires went off with a pop but nothing happened.  He sighed.  "SWAT swore there weren't any others."

"I'll have them check under the house," he promised.  He went to chew someone a new one, bringing their bomb guy back at a run.  Xander showed him what he had done, getting a clap on the back and a nod of praise.  They checked under the house this time, taking the other one from under the porch with them.  They also stayed while Mac and his team searched the house.

***

Xander walked into the lab the next morning, nodding at the two ATF agents he knew.  "Heard already?"

"About what?"

"Ask Mac then.  What's up, guys?"

"We had an agent involved shooting."

Xander nodded, taking the gun from him.  "I can run it first.  We've got a hell of a load coming in soon."

"Can we help?"

"I might need a second shift of someone qualified who won't tamper."  He looked at them. "The higher ups sent Anders down to help me since Chad's back on leave for his leg."

They laughed.  "Yeah, not happening.  Let me clear it with Taylor while you match.  It's in the box."   Xander nodded, settling in to work on that.  By the time he came back he had a near match but not a perfect one from the new test-fire.  The old test-fire matched but it came from a different gun.  Which he found listed in the agent's database for them.  He presented them with a printout and report, getting an evil grin.  "You little bastard, you guys found terrorists."  His partner choked.

"I have a friend online who hacks internationally.  I was looking at what's going on out west in my old town because there's one coming there that might need a full evac for.  I badgered him into telling me these when I heard he had one.  Seven as it turned out."

"Shit, kid, we'll help you with that ourselves."

"I'm supposed to be recerting tomorrow."

"We heard Billiams was coming up for it."  He gave him a look.

"You guys' boss tried to say I'm not eligible."

"Fat chance."  Mac came in.  "FBI handling it?"

"No.  Not yet.  Javier, I need you to get some rest before tomorrow.  Do what you can."

"That guy?"

"A neighborhood thug but was buying drugs from them.  They're iffy on him.  Who used the pepper spray?"

"The SWAT guy who got him out of my trunk.  He tried to kick him."

"Fine.  It's legal to do that, borderline but legal.  Do what you can.  I've got someone coming in to help you."

"Will I approve?"

"Yes."

"The Manchester one?"

"Working on it.  The others too.  Quit worrying."  He walked off.  "Get a soda at least."

"Yes, boss."  He went to do that and came jogging back to get to work with them.  They were agents, not lab techs, but the one who showed up nearly made him beg.  "Miss Duquesne."

"Mr. Elton."  She smiled.  "I was up testifying on a crossover case we had a few years back and I heard Mac say that he needed help in here because you're short a good tech due to a broken leg?"

"Chad rebroke his when he fell.  They tried to give me an asslicking political sort who screwed with my scene kit so I swore at him in the halls.  I recert tomorrow."

"I can help."  He handed her his spare jacket and the box of gloves.  "Oooh, pretty.  Where did we find it?"

"Some terrorists had it and the huge ass bomb in their house," he said conversationally.  She whimpered.  "Like you saw with the movie with Arnold and Jamie Curtis."  She grabbed a table.  "They have another place we're hunting and five other really bad things going on in the city.  Welcome back to New York," he finished with an insane grin.

"If I can help I will."  She took his spare scope and computer to work on.  He logged her on with his ID and it was all good.

One of the agents coughed a few hours later.  "Elton, go eat."

"Huh?" he asked, looking up from his scope work.  "What?"

"Eat.  Mac said you haven't eaten in days, kid.  Take a nap too."  Xander nodded, trudging out to do that.  "Sorry, Duquesne, he forgets now and then.  He's probably been up all night."

"I've seen others and done it myself," she assured him.  She yawned.  "Can you watch it while I get lunch too?"

"Of course."  She smiled and took off her lab coat and gloves heading to the break room.  She ran into Danny, giving him a careful hug.  "I'm up to help since I was testifying on that last crossover case."

"Thank god.  Javier's passed out in the lounge."

"The ATF agents just sent him off to eat and nap."

"We'll make sure he eats when he gets up then."   He pointed.  "Down the right hallway."

"Thank you."

"How many left?"

"Billions it seems like but under thirty I think.  I think we can get him home on time tonight since he has to qualify tomorrow."

"That's cool.  If you need me, yell.  Adam and I can both work with him.  Monroe, not so much."

She nodded.  "I'll keep that in mind."  She went to get dinner from the machine, settling in to eat while he slept.  She smiled at the kitty noises he was making.  It was cute!  Mac came in.  "The agents told him to eat and sleep."

"He needs it.  He hasn't slept in two days," Mac admitted.  "And only had the soda I made him get earlier in about a day and a half."

"He didn't finish that."

"Of course not.  He got caught up in it."  He leaned down to pet Xander's head, saying something quietly in his ear, getting a yawn and a stretch but the boy went back to sleep again.  "Good boy," he whispered.  He stood up.  "If something happens because of his death threat up here, we're sending him to you.  Horatio already agreed."

She grinned.  "I'd love to have him in my lab.  He's concise, fast, and has attitude when it's necessary."  Mac smiled, getting a bottle of water and heading out again.  She finished up and nudged him.  "One hour more."  He nodded, drifting off again.  "Eat when you get up," she ordered.  She went back to the lab, with a quick potty break, and got back to work.  He stumbled in forty minutes later.  "Did you eat?"

"Yes, ma'am.  I was nuking stuff while I napped."  He finished his old soda, put the new one in its place and settled in to get back to work.

***

Xander trudged in the next day, handing Mac the note.  "I fell asleep after I got done and for lunch."  He went back to his lab, finding it clear.  He trudged back to the office.  "Are we done with this one?"

"The Manchester house only had two, Calleigh cleared it already."  Xander whooped and danced around.  "That leaves six problems."

"I'm your man, Mac."

"One you can't do.  It's them."

Xander snorted.  "Wonderful.  They can hide it by magic."

"So we heard.  We have someone else in the city who can help, who you may not see in case she busts you."

"Willow?"  He nodded.  "Okay, I get that.  Tell her I'm okay."

"I already did when she asked.  I've also coopted Dean and John to help in case we run into anything deadly in there.  The SWAT team knows that it's freakish stuff like that.  They hate it but they'll ignore it."  He nodded.  "Good.  Clear up today's gun crime and wait for more.  The others we'll be going on tomorrow so try to rest when you get a chance tonight."

"Yes, boss."  He went to check, finding a few bullets left to do.  He ran them while he waited on the bust to go off.  He had the dispatch radio on quietly so he could hear what was going on and what was called.  He winced at the bomb call.  He considered it then got the text that they needed him.  The bomb guy was out of the city.  He locked the lab door and disappeared, landing beside John.  "Need me where?" he asked, patting his tool belt he had grabbed.

"Up the hall to the right, down the stairs."  Xander jogged that way.  "He's exhausted," John muttered to himself.

Xander found the bomb.  "Oh, baby.  You poor thing.  Were the meanies going to destroy you?"  He got down to disarm it, handing it over and doing the backup in the back.  "There we go.  That's not big enough for a failsafe."

"We can't get into the vault," one of the guys said with a point.

Xander looked, moving closer.  He nodded at Willow, winking at her.  "Take the lock side."  She moved to mirror him, casting what he did on her side.  He did the top then they sidestepped the door and frame falling down. "One doorway."

"You're neat for being so freakish, kid," one guy said with a grin.

"Only when I have to be."  He looked inside, going to get the bomb in there.  "Ah, here we go.  And records, Mac.  Including slayer records."

"Any on the local missing girls?"  Xander held up a file.  He came in to gather and look them over.  "Anything on other apocalypse vault areas?"

"That file," Willow said with a point. "That's how they label those. WGH.  World Going to Hell."

He looked then gave it to the SWAT guys.  "Find them, empty them.  I don't want artillery in my city unless it's an emergency."

"And if it is, I'd better be helping play with it," Xander quipped.

"Yours either," Mac reminded him.

"It's not."  He looked at Willow.  "Yours?"

"No clue.  We're looking."

"They're prompting it."

"We know.  We don't know what to do.  I saw what happened, the same as you did.  I don't think we can do that again.  Not with only two."

Xander nodded.  "Then get the scythe."  She blinked and stared, then beamed.  "If you must you gotta, just remember the rules of balance, Willow.  And make sure it needs thirty."

"I can do that.  Thank you."  She gave him a hug.  "I miss you."

"I miss you too but I'm still mad at you because they all want me to stay gay.  They nag horribly now and then."

She laughed.  "Me too.  We're sending you Dawn and Tara."

"Why?"

"If we have to evacuate, we're sending you Dawn and Tara."

"That's fine.  They can stay at my sanctuary if they have to.  Ask John to see if he can help?"  She ran off to check on him and ask him that.  He looked at Mac.  "Is it a reasonable solution?"

"Yes."  Xander slumped and nodded.   "Did you get any sleep?"

"I was working and listening to the radio.  Need me for more?"

"Shit, dragon!" someone yelled.

"I think so."

Xander popped home to get his axe and a spare sword, tossing it at John.  "Hold that for me please!" he yelled, diving in to tackle the stupid beast.  Which it wasn't.  It was also long, low to the ground, and breathed fire.  "Which realm did they steal you from?" he complained, dodging some fire.  He got in a lucky shot that bounced off and dove to the side, coming up to get it from behind.  He finally managed to get onto its back and chopped down into the neck.  "Wrong angle.  John?"  He tossed his axe, riding the writhing, bucking thing.  He had to dive to get the sword.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault.  It's a moving target.  Watch my baby for me."  He dove under a new gout of flame, wincing when it caught his ankle he managed to get underneath the thing and stabbed up, getting it in the throat.  It choked so he moved and came up swinging, taking out it's neck until it was dead.  He panted, backing away.  "I'm out of shape for that.  Damn."

"Language," Mac reminded him.

"Deserved it, boss.  I'm out of shape for this."   He took his axe back, looking at John, handing him the sword.  "In case.  I'm going back to the lab."  He disappeared, finding Calleigh in there.  "Uh, hi."

"Hi.  I already know, Xander.  Horatio told me," she said quietly, getting a grin.  "Since we're your backup spot in case something happens."

"We're taking out their armory and apocalypse vaults right now.  I just took on their pet dragon."

She grinned.  "I can tell from the burn marks.  Go clean up.  I've got this."

"We've got a dumptruck full of stuff coming.  They had local apocalypse vaults."

"Even better.  Go clean up.  Cover any burns."  He nodded, jogging off to do that.  "More energy than I *ever* had," she told herself.  She checked his last report, printing it and resealing the bullet.  He had a good reason for going out that way.  She saw a curious looking female.  "You must be Monroe, the new girl.  Calleigh Duquesne out of Miami-Dade.  With the recent raids Javier's been overloaded and Chad'd still out.  Mac called in a favor to get me to help."

"That's nice.  It's nice to see more perky females in the lab."  She grinned.  "Is grumpy boy not here?"

"He's cleaning up.  He has some powder burns that need to be bathed."

"I can understand that.  How is the current raid going?"  Calleigh found the radio and turned it up for her.  "That sounds bad."

"Very.   He said we're getting about a dump truck full."  Lindsay moaned, shaking her head.  "Do you have anything that needs done before they get back?"

"I was checking since he had the door closed again.  Now and then he gets really grumpy and shuts us out, making us use the delivery chute."

"I do now and then too when I'm concentrating."  She smiled at Stella when she joined them.  "I missed you earlier."

"The prosecutor is missing you now."

"Oops."

"I told him Mac called to have you help and slipped why.  He told the judge who shuddered and said they can call you back for you cross-examination when we're done."

"It's going to be days.  This current one, we're getting a dump truck full according to Javier."

"Ow.  We have a nice couch in the lounge and a sleeping bag in a closet upstairs if you need more quiet."

"I'll remember that."  She smiled as the boy coming back.  She saw his t-shirt and smirked.  "That's so true."

"Mac said to put a button up over it."

Xander looked at her.  "We've got over six thousand guns coming in from that one site, Stella.  Not to mention their other ten apocalypse vaults.  I need the reminder I have a good personality and I'm fun loving."

"As long as he doesn't complain," Stella decided.  "Six thousand?"  He nodded.  "Where are we going to put them?"

"I don't know, figure that out for us since he's there and they just had to take out a lizard guarding some stuff?"

"I guess I can do that."   She went to check on evidence lock up, deciding on the crate method for the safes.  "Guys, I need the safes cleared of everything but drug and money evidence.  We have over six thousand guns coming in to be ID'd and probably some artillery."

"Taylor said that the guns are being put into the old evidence chamber in the basement, Detective, and it's going to have ATF guarding it until they can sort it and do a dispo run."

"Even better.  It might not be big enough though."

"Then they'll figure it out, Bonasera."

She smirked.  "Clean the vaults anyway, some of it's artillery."  He moaned, going to do that.  She texted that to Mac, getting back a 'good idea' from him.  She went back to check on them, finding them cleaning the lab to get ready for the first shipment.  "I'll send in sodas and water in a bit, guys."  They nodded.  "Javier, the old evidence chamber in the basement.  Tag once you've cleared it, put it into a crate."  He nodded at that.  "Good."  She went to get a crate to put outside the lab for them.  It wouldn't fit inside. They could watch it out there.  The first load got carried up by Dean and Mac.  "You were helping?" she asked Dean.

"It was the Watchers.  They had freaky shit."

"Good point."  She went to help get more, letting Dean get Xander another soda and a candy bar then Calleigh some water and her own candy bar for energy.  Mac made him quit trying to flirt while they worked and then Dean disappeared.  He and Stella got more up there.  "That's the first load, guys."

"Goodie," Calleigh agreed.  They got to work on the first few, going to do test fires and come back to work on them.  She noticed the boy was doing multiple test fires at once and stapling the sample to the tag on the gun.  "That's not fully protocol."

"It saves me running back and forth.  Helps me keep them together."  She smiled at that.  "It's not forbidden and my teachers said it was okay to do if I had this many guns at once."

She nodded.  "I've done this before with gun dealers."  They got down to work, carting out to the crate and coming back to get a drink and move on to the next one.  They ran out of boxes by the time the crate was filled.  They took a break while the crate was switched out and brought up to them.  Then they came back and started on that one.  It was going to be a long week.  She was going to love this overtime paycheck.

***

Horatio walked into the lab, taking off his sunglasses.  "Is Mac Taylor or my ballistics tech in please?" he asked the receptionist.

"He'll be back shortly, sir.  Which tech is yours?"

"Calleigh Duquesne.  I'm Lieutenant Caine, Miami-Dade PD."

"He left a message for you."  She handed it over and signed him in.  "She's asleep in the break room.  They're on their last bust of this set, sir."

"This set?"

"Somehow our ballistics tech got some information on seven really bad problems early last week.  They've busted five of the seven. The FBI took care of the sixth and they're doing the seventh now."

"I see.  How bad are we looking?"

"So far the radio hasn't said anything about needing ATF or more gun room."  He smiled at that.  "The second set of busts had over twelve thousand guns and over two hundred pieces of illegal artillery plus over sixty hours of therapy needed for strange things by the officers on that raid."

"I think I know about them.  Can I see her?"

"Here's a visitor's pass, Lieutenant.  Sign the log please?"  He did that and she pointed.  "Elevator to the second floor of the lab and then down the hall across from it to the right."  He nodded, taking those directions.  "Miami has some cute officers," she muttered as she made a note for the boss.  He came stomping in.  "Lieutenant Caine is here."

"That's good.  The last one has artillery.  ATF and FBI wants it."

"Elton will be pissed he can't pet it."

He smiled as he signed in.  "Probably but he's exhausted.  John's texting me every hour to complain."

"They're both asleep in the break room.  He's on the floor in front of her so no one can bother her."

"Good of him."  He went up there, finding Horatio staring at them.  "That's Elton," he said quietly.

"No new guns?"

"All artillery.  ATF and FBI want it.  Let them do the paperwork since them or Homeland should have caught them long ago."  Xander sniffled so he squatted down, petting him gently.  "Are you clear?"  He nodded.  "Then you can go home.  There's no new ones from this bust, kid," he said quietly.

"Not a kid."

"I know you're not.  Go home."  He shook his head.  "Yes.  If you're clear go home.  Come back in two days."

"Bad guys will win," he snuffled.

"No they won't.  I'll make sure of it.  Dean's coming to take you home."  Xander pouted.  "I promise it'll be okay."  He stood up to look at Horatio.  "We abused them horribly.  I'm sorry."

"Twelve thousand guns?"

"From *one* of the seven problems."  Horatio shuddered.  Calleigh let out a loud snore and Xander purred at her, shifting closer to the couch to pat her arm.  She shifted and calmed herself, going deeper again.  He saw the Police Commissioner stomping his way.  "Brass alert."

"He nice," Xander mumbled.  "Teach me sports."

Mac grinned.  "I've heard he is.  Sleep."  He looked at the commissioner.  "Sir, this is Lieutenant Caine from Miami-Dade.  We borrowed his lab tech to help since we were short."

"You could have borrowed another lab's."

"No, sir.  I couldn't.  These are being watched over by agents."  He got a shudder for that.  "ATF was very clear about who they will not work with, including non-felony here.  She's one of the top in the country, higher than Elton is and he's in the top twenty.  She was up on a crossover case to testify and I shamelessly abused her with Horatio's knowledge."

"Are we done?"

"ATF and FBI took the last one since it looked to be more linked to homegrown terrorism.  A bunch of racists wanting to make the world purer."

"Death Eaters," Xander mumbled.

"Yes, just like them," he agreed with a smirk.  "Sorry, sir, he's asleep."

"Nazi's happen if you don't raise your kids right," he admitted.  "How many guns?"

"I have the reports in my office if we can go that way?"  He nodded, stepping back so they could walk out.  "Danny, watch them?"

"I have been.  Only Doc snuck in for a drink then left when Elton nearly bit him for getting near her."

"Thank you."  He walked them into the office, handing over the three boxes of reports.  "The guns and artillery reports sir.  The other evidence is on the handtruck there," he said with a point at the one in the corner.  "Their files, and all that."

He looked at the stack then at him, putting that one down.  "We processed them all?"

"Yes, sir.  That's why they're some of the top ones in the country."

"I see.  I did get a note from the ATF about him?  Something about identity problems?"

"The death threat made him change his identity during his schooling.  One there doesn't like it so they're trying to block him.  The people over the board did his recert during their new CSI certification testing.  I'm waiting to hear."  An envelope was pulled out of his uniform jacket pocket and handed over.  He opened it and smiled, letting Horatio see.  "Plus his A level for bombs."  He grinned at the Commissioner.  "Thank you for bringing me that, sir."

"Do we have any more?"

"No.  He might ask to take a few days off because he heard of a problem in his original town but he knows it's dangerous so he might send help in other ways."  He nodded Dean inside.  "Let me copy that, sir."  He photocopied it and handed it to Dean.  "His."

Dean looked at it.  "I take it this is good?"

"That's better than some of the people certifying others," Mac said honestly.  Dean grinned.  "Did you guys get that straightened out?"

"Yes.  It's fixed."

"Good.  He's in the break room sleeping in front of Calleigh so no one can bother her."

"She'd shoot someone if they woke her up," Horatio admitted, getting a smile back.  "I need to thank him for the head's up he gave me as well, Mac."

"If you can wake him up and not get bitten," Dean said with a grin.  "That's why I'm wearing my heavy jacket."  He waved at Mac.  "Let me take Sleeping Beauty home."  That got a nod so he left, tucking the paper into his pocket.  He walked into the break room.  "Yo, kiddo, get up?"  Xander flinched and gave him a bleary look.  "C'mon, quittin' time.  Time for bed.  Want help up?"

"They'll bother her."

"Her boss is here to protect her.  C'mon."  He helped him up, weathering the bad breath when he yawned.  "That's bad.  Come on.  Car's downstairs."  Xander pointed at her.  "Her boss is with Mac.  He'll protect her now."   Xander nodded, leaning his head on his shoulder, letting Dean walk him off.  He noticed the grins coming off the elevators.  "He hasn't made it home in a week and a half," he told one, getting a horrified look.  "Become a lab tech, it's a higher pay grade," he said dryly.

"No thanks."  She watched him carry him off.  "Which tech is he?" she asked him.

"Elton, ballistics."

"Don said some nice things about him.  Let's hope he gets a good, long sleep."

"Mac said he's got two days off.  I hope it's enough."  He walked him outside with the security guard's help.  "Thanks, man."  He leaned Xander against the car while he opened the door, then got him into it.  He shut him in and walked around to get in and drive.  "Thank you," he told the guard before sliding in.  He started the car and drove off, taking him home.  John and Sam were waiting to pull him out, making Dean grin.  "Got his scores too."  He locked his precious baby and followed them up, watching John dump the boy into bed and pull his shoes off.  "Hey, Xander, want to hit the john?""

"He be mad," he moaned, shifting some.

"C'mon," Sam ordered.  "Bathroom time."

"Potty break, kid," John ordered.  Xander shook his head and whimpered so they got up and in there to use it instead of wetting the bed.  Then he got put back into bed naked and they left him alone to finish sleeping.

Dean presented the scores to his father, making John give the bedroom door a proud look.  "Mac said that's better than some of the people doing the certifications.  He was also guarding the pretty blonde tech in his sleep.  She had the couch and he had in front of it to protect her.  Bit Doc earlier when he snuck in from what I got told."

"That's good of him," John agreed.  He put it on the fridge and got a beer, handing one to his boys.   "Are they done?"

"Mac didn't say he'd have a stack waiting on him when he got up."

"Even better," he decided.  "Hopefully the city is clear of those things until it's time to start again."

"What're we going to do about Sunnydale?  Mac was telling one of the stuffed uniforms above him that he might be asking to take a few days to go out there."

John shook his head.  "No he can't.  They're sure it's the Watchers prompting it.  They've already started evacuating the town.  I talked to Buffy again last night and she said they had it, they could use the help but the local National Guard base that handled the situation in LA is handling that so they remember very well what happened."  That got a nod.  "She did say they'd be moving closer, she's not sure where though, and if they have to evacuate Dawn and Tara to even more safety, they're staying at his sanctuary."

"That'll work," Dean agreed.  "Can't get much safer.  What about the Watchers?"

"The ones in the city just got a really bad shock for hoarding weapons and artillery."  He took a drink with a smug look.  "Not even he can hoard twelve thousand guns and artillery pieces."

Sam moaned, shaking his head.  "Half of them don't like guns according to Wesley.  They were stocking them just in case they became helpful.  Only a quarter probably even had bullets."

"Wonderful."  He finished his beer.  "We get the ID stuff worked out for when we're traveling?"  Dean nodded.  "Good.  Will he have a new one waiting?"

"Yeah, we worked on his already," Dean promised.  "So we're cool.  Rosenburg said she fixed one of the problems and Mac talked to St.  Louis, handing over a DNA sample.  They're fuming but said it didn't match the sample they had of his.  They also found the fake skin and said 'no wonder' and left it there.  So I'm not wanted anymore."

"Good."  He finished Sam's beer since he wasn't drinking it, getting a dirty look for it.  "Someone order dinner?  I'm too wiped to cook.  If Sammy cooks we'll have vegetables."

"You told us plenty of times we needed them to stay healthy," Sam quipped with an evil grin.  "You still need them because your cholesterol was through the roof."

"How did you test that?"

"Finger prick while you were in the hospital.  It was one of the bloodwork tests they ran," he said.  He got up.  "We've got broccoli for stir fry and we've got corn on the cob.  No steaks, but chicken breasts so that's good for you."

Dean looked at his father.  "Wings?"

"Sports bar," he agreed, getting up and heading out with his son.

"I'll still get you later," Sam called.  "Not like you didn't have a vita-shake for breakfast."

"I'll beat you later, son."  He headed out after his older son.  "At least you don't nag like your mother."

"Is he channeling her now and then?"

"I don't know.  It's possible.  She wasn't real pleased that the Watchers called me back.  I've never heard your mother swear that way actually."  Dean burst out cackling.  "Seriously.  When Xander found me, I was still hearing her swear until she saw him then went 'awww, he needs a daddy' and quit.  I knew then I should've been scared."

"You like him like a son anyway," Dean reminded him, unlocking his car so he could drive them to the nearest good sports bar.

"Well, yes," he admitted.  "But now and then he frustrates me like Sam does.  I called him Sammy Junior a few times in Louisiana."

"They're the same age.  They could be twins," Dean offered.

John looked at him.  "Shut up, son."  Dean laughed.  "I don't need that bad thought, especially not with their stress relief thing."

Dean nodded.  "That makes sense."  His phone rang.  "Yeah, what's up?" he asked, sounding happy.  "No, he's in bed with Sammy watching over him, Mac.  What's wrong?  Well, we were headed for a sports bar, we're nowhere near lit so we can stop at the lab."  He hung up and drove him that way, parking and getting out with John.  The guard blocked their path.  "Taylor called."  That got a nod so they went up there.  "What's up?" he asked as he walked into the office.

"First, we love having him here."

"They're going to make you fire him?"

"They just put a five million dollar contract on him, Dean."

"The Watchers or others?" John asked.

"The terrorists."  John moaned.  "They don't know what he looks like.  He was on the back of the only one who saw him.  They knew his name though."

"So he's got to change ID's," John said bluntly.

"Which is where I come in," Horatio said from his seat.  "Since I do know and about his other problem, and I do need a world class ballistics tech, we can gladly shelter him under his new identity."

"We've got one set up at the basics level," Dean told him.  "Going through Miami from Louisiana because he said he wanted to head that way next.  We've spent the last few days working on it."

"Good."  Horatio smirked.  "He'll be at the same pay grade he is up here.  He'll actually be paid a little bit better because we pay more."  Calleigh stumbled in.  "Good morning, ma'am."

"What time is it?"

"You're done, Calleigh."  She beamed.

"You guys processed so many guns some of the local ATF agents want to set up a shrine to you," Mac told her, getting that same smile given to him.  "There's only one problem."

"Oh, no.   We messed up a file?"

"No, he's now got a five million dollar contract out on his current identity in addition to the old one."

She stared.  Then looked at Horatio.  "Really?"

"Yes, that means you get a competent bit of help and we get a new backup field tech since he is rated that way."

"How soon?"

"Homeland heard about the contract price," Mac told her.

"Then it's probably well on it's way to being filled."

"We can pack his lab," Dean promised.  Mac nodded at that.  "Then drive down to Miami.  He can sell his two spots to others."

"Don would love your current place," Mac said with a smile.  "Or Stella or Danny."

"I'll let them know," John agreed.  "We can't get the boy up right now.  We had to walk him to the bathroom because we said potty break and he whined like he didn't want to wet the bed but he might."

"He hasn't really slept, even when she did, John."  That got a nod.  "Or eat."

"Sammy was threatening us with vegetables and chicken breasts, that's why we were heading to a sports bar," Dean said dryly.  Mac laughed.  "We can do that.  Give him until the end of the month to get set up down there, Lieutenant?"

"That would be more than reasonable, Mr. Winchester."

"Thanks.  Mac?"

"Go ahead.  Do his locker too.  I'll tell the others."  They nodded, going to do that.  "Calleigh, Horatio, there's some things you don't know yet.  Including that the boy will draw trouble and jump into it."

"I thought he looked familiar from the incident in LA," Horatio admitted.

"He brought himself and John back with that popping around thing he can do.  The whole time he was in the ER getting a hundred-seventeen stitches he said he was fine.  Worried about John but didn't want painkillers, didn't want a shot of local."  Horatio groaned.  Calleigh whimpered.  "When John didn't want him fussing, he showed back up the next day.  Said he felt fine.  Kept saying he was fine.  We drove him home.  A few days later when he snuck back for the fifth time he said he was still fine and not feeling them, without painkillers.  We got that one fixed and had to have the whole family sit on him to keep him home.  My trace tech Adam said he sapped him of his macho ego by being that tough."  He grinned.  "Also, watch out for the t-shirts."

"I can warn the others if and when he gets hurt," Horatio promised.  He stood up.  "Let me get her back to the hotel, Mac.  Dinner?"

"Sure, call when you're ready.  I'm done for the night since they did all the paperwork for me."  She grinned at that.  "Stella will probably send you a primer on the boy.  She likes the boy, even though now and then he will swear at Monroe."

Dean leaned into the office.  "Where's his guns?"

"Damn it," Mac muttered.  "If she did it again I get to spank her."  He went to find them, finding them moved but still together.  "Who moved them?" he called.

"Hawkes said he saw something crawling in the cabinet.  He's getting something to lay out in there," Adam called back.  He came out.  "The brass fired him for hearing about these things?" he demanded.

"No, he's switching again," Mac told him.

"Why?  Are the Watchers still around enough to threaten him?"

"Two of the terrorist cells we busted put a higher price out," Mac told him, getting a grunt of displeasure.  "So Calleigh's getting a brilliant young ballistics tech."

"How much?" he asked with a wince.

"Five million.  Homeland heard and told us."

"Crap.  I guess it happens to white knights though."  Mac nodded.  "I'll miss him."  He trudged back into his lab.

"He traumatized him every morning with his t-shirts," Mac offered with a smile.  "You grow to like the boy, but now and then you want to beat him.  He called me on having some stressful snapping at the techs, offered to find me a succubus."

Horatio laughed.  "That is a good warning.  I'll keep that in mind."

"They won't play with him anymore; they were too sore after the last time they played," Dean said from inside the lab.

Horatio nearly whimpered.  "How?"

"I don't know but it was a whole hunting pack and he smelled like a Vegas whorehouse when he was done.  He was bouncy and happy the next morning."  Horatio shook his head quickly.  "By the way, he dates bad chicks.  Evil chicks usually but tainted and bad chicks otherwise."

Horatio smirked.  "I wouldn't expect anything less of him."

"I gave you the dossier I found on him, right?" Mac asked quietly.

"You did."

"His ex showed up to play with him one night and kept trying to get into his bank account."

Horatio shuddered.  "Is he going to have a problem with the bank?"

"No," John said.  "We went through this before.  Mac, we'll need an official notice of the death threat."

"I already have it, John.  I figured you would."  He nodded at them.  "Let's make my team pout."   He walked them down to the break room.  "Meeting!" he yelled as he walked.  They piled into the break room, staring at him then at Horatio, getting a few nods back at the ones he knew.  "Because of the busts, ATF, FBI, and Homeland are very pleased with this lab."

"This isn't starting out good," Stella said.  Especially not with another lab at the meeting.

"Thanks to the first bust, they know who Elton is."  She slumped, shaking her head.  "Not what he looks like but what his name is."  They all stared at him.  "So we're going to have to let him go to somewhere safer in his newest identity."

"How much is the bounty this time?" Don Flack asked.

"Five million.  Plus the three-quarters of one may be upped since they're the site we busted second.  The one that netted us all the weapons."

"Does he have a new one set up?  I thought the family was going to use it for safety reasons."

"They are, but he was already working on a contingency one."  They all pouted.  "He'll be just fine and as we saw, he and Calleigh get along very well."

"I'll take good care of the little hyper, bouncy boy. Alexx will mother him to death," she promised.

"He has no idea what a mother hen is," Stella told her.  "I tried when he was injured.  He was pouty but all 'I'm fine' the whole time."

"Good to know.  Well, Speed can mother him then," she offered with a grin.  Stella laughed at that.  "We'll gladly take hints on any peculiar issues he has."

"He's very possessive of his guns," Lindsay said with a grimace.  "He said he'd spank me the next time I touched them.  He won't let me work in ballistics unless he's in there."

Mac looked at her.  "There was a personality clash when she put his exemplar cabinet into the main one."

"I'd fuss too."  She shrugged.  "We'll work it out.  I am the queen of our lab, right behind Speed."  Horatio coughed.  "No, you're the boss, Horatio.  Queen Speed and I rule the roost."

"I'll tell him you said that."  He looked at them.  "We'll take very good care of him, people.  You can still write him as long as you use his new identity.  I'm sure that would be safe enough as long as you kept it subtle.  Like not mailing it from the lab."  They nodded.  "Dean and John?"  Mac nodded.  "Dean and John are packing up his things right now."

"I moved his exemplar so I could put down bug bait," Sheldon admitted.

"We found that out.  Dean's just as gun nut as he is," Mac told him, getting a grin back.   "We'll miss him but keep it subtle when you tell those who should know and like the boy.  I'll call the head prosecutor.  The Commissioner heard it from a contact at Homeland.  He's already told me and spread it around to the HR department."  They all nodded at that.  "He'll be down there by the end of the month.  So that means that he may be offering up his place," he told Don.

"I'd sleep with the boy for that current one.  Or his old one really."

"He might take you up on that," Lindsay teased.

Don looked at her.  "He only flirts, Monroe.  He'd never carry through with anyone he works with; it might get awkward."

"I'll warn Valera he flirts, that way she knows she has a flirting back target now."  Calleigh smiled.  "It'll make her happy.  Should I tell the boys anything about club preferences?  Or anything like that?"

"John said he dates evil women so he can't go out," Danny told her seriously.

She frowned.  "At all?"

"He's went on one date; John had ta shoot her at the end because she had a knife to eviscerate him on her altar.  The officers responding called Mac out of bed at four in the morning to come get our boy.  John got told good job and to not let him date again."

"Oh, that sort of evil girls.  Okay then.  We'll keep that in mind and have Eric introduce him to nice girls he knows.  Some are a bit strange but he should like that."  They all smiled.  "I'll treat him like a little brother, guys.  We promise to take care of him."

"Good," Mac agreed.  "Why don't you go back to the hotel.  Horatio and I are going to have dinner."

"Oooh, food."

Horatio smiled.  "We'll get you food so you can nap overtop of it.  Thank you all.  We will take good care of him."

"You'd better or someone will repossess him," Danny said with a look at Adam.

"Not gay even if he would make it fun."

"Uh-huh.  You'll pout for weeks."

"Maybe."  He shrugged.  "Are e done, Mac?"  He nodded.  "Is he awake at home?"  Mac shook his head.  "I'll call later then."  He went back to his lab to sulk.

The others broke up and Don went to talk to John about taking over one of his places.  John said he'd arrange it for him and made Don a very happy homicide detective.  One that nearly danced up the halls.

The Many Mystical Mes 12.

Xander walked up the reception desk his first day in Miami, holding up his new ID card.  "I'm the new ballistics tech."

"Hi, CSI... Winchester?"  He grinned and nodded.  "Sign in please?"  She watched as he did.  "Which lab did you come from?"

"One with a death threat. That's why Horatio stole me," he said with an innocent grin, making her stare in horror.  "He did.  They nearly packed me in the car and moved me while I was asleep."  He grinned.  "Ballistics is the south corner?"  She nodded.  "Thank you."  He walked that way, dropping his locker bag in the corner once he was in there.  He looked around, finding a few good spots for his needs.  He pulled out a lab coat and his glasses, getting to work on the few samples they had in there.  He turned on some quiet music too.  That way it wasn't silent in there.  They had shielded the room pretty well.

Calleigh walked in an hour later.  He was dusting.  "No work?"  She looked around.  "Huh, no work."

"I did it already," he said with a grin.  She grinned back.  "So, where can my personal collection go?"

"We have most of the ones you had there as samples in the locked exemplar."

He pulled out his binder, handing it over.  "The legal, registered exemplar I have."  He sat down to watch her go through it.

She moaned at a few of them.  "Wow."  She looked at him.  "Nice collection."  He grinned. "Keep them at home and if we need them we'll let you pick them up for the day.  All right?"  He nodded.  She put that binder on her shelf in case it came up.  "What haven't you seen?"

"My locker, anyone else, the other labs?"

"We can do that.  Horatio sent you a map?"

"He did."  He stood up and grabbed his bag, taking it with him to the locker room.  He saw a few odd looks.  "Hi, Alexander Winchester.  Ballistics."  She gave him an odd look.  "They're not using it.  John liked it.  Sam groaned."   Really, since they were being made to travel around under a different identity to protect them, the Winchester name was their 'undercover identity' as Sam called it, making John and Dean both snort.  He had volunteered to take it over so no one would wonder and that way someone would be able to find John at least when they needed to - all the other hunters knew Xander was being watched over by John.

"I guess that's fine."

"It means I can answer to my own name again."

"What about that first contract?"

"The Brits raided them again.  They're not happy with them.  Not that I blame them but they're really not happy with the Council."

"I can see why."  She pointed.  "Locker."

He looked inside then stuffed his stuff in there.  "I'll bring in a suit tomorrow once I have them unpacked."

"That's fine.  Do we need to stop and get anything else?"

"I usually keep my scene kit in the lab in case I get a sudden call out."

"That's reasonable.  You can put it under the bullet storage cabinet in the lab."  He grinned.  "Lock it."  He put on his lock and handed her the spare key.  "I'll hand this to Horatio on our tour."  She walked him off, showing him around.  "This is Valera.  You can tease and pick on her, but she flirts like you do, without follow through."

"My beauteous DNA tech," he said, kissing her on the cheek.  "Glad to meet you.  She's said nice things about you and your brains being larger than even mine."  She giggled and swatted at him.  "I'm Xander out of Ballistics."

"That's good."  She smiled and he walked off.  "Aww, he's a cute puppy for her.  They'd be good together."

Calleigh came back.  "He only likes evil women."  She left again once Valera was cackling.

"I like it when people make that sound around me," he admitted with a grin for her.

"I can tell by the t-shirt," she said, giving it a look. _Legally, it's questionable.  Morally, it's disgusting.  Personally, I like it._ "Not what I expected today."

"It was the first good one I unpacked.  Otherwise I would've worn a strange one instead."

"I think that one's plenty strange."  She took him into trace.  "I know you took a minor in trace in school.  This is our trace lab and that is Tim Speedle, our trace person."

"Hi, Xander Winchester, Ballistics."

He stared at him.  "I've heard of your family."

"I'm the one John's guarding."  Speed licked his lips and looked like he was thinking.  "Didn't hear that part?  Cool, ask me later."  He grinned.  "They're down if you needed to find them.  Dean's basking in the glow of bikinis somewhere."

"No, that's all right.  Why are you here?"

"Well, because my last lab abused her and me so much during some busts, which included terrorists, that they decided they wanted to pay me back for my brilliance in turning them in to get them stopped."

It took him a minute to decipher that.  "Contract is for how much?" he asked.

"Five mil, and another one for three-quarters from another source."

Speed blinked.  "So you're in your new identity?"  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Uh-huh.  So you're Mac's tech."

"Yes I was," he agreed quietly.

"Was that your original name?"

"No.  That was the last identity thanks to the smaller contract."

"Ah."

"By the Watchers Council."

"That makes sense then.  Where are you from?"

"Town's destroyed now," he said casually.  And didn't that suck.  Willow had kept him asleep so he couldn't help.  That's why he had nearly been packed into the car.

"I heard some people say California wanted that town out of their state," Speed said.

"I'm sure they did.  We dragged down stats on nearly every spectrum."

Speed nodded.  "Good to know.  Are you settled in?"

"All but an emergency suit in my locker and finishing the unpacking at home."

"Good.  H is talking to the big bosses."  Calleigh grimaced then let it clear up.  "They wanted to know what happened when you got... abused."

"A lot of guns and artillery."  Speed shuddered.  "He had a friend who turned information over to him.  He went on the first few busts as part of the team.  That's how they knew to put the contract on him."

"Wonderful.  Are you a straight lab tech, Xander?"

"With a minor in trace that I don't use all too often and I'm rated to do field work.  Which I'd like to do as a backup on the bad cases and those things."

"I can see you doing that."  He nodded.  "I saw Alexx heading for your lab."

Calleigh leaned out the door.  "Alexx?"  She looked up the hall and smiled.  "I'm in here with my new lab gremlin."

"I like dark spaces but not tiny ones," Xander quipped, making Speed laugh.  "I don't."

"I'm sure we'll get used to you.  Nice shirt, I like that one."

Calleigh gave him a dirty look.  "I'd them to be less strange."  Xander pulled out a picture and handed it to her, making her shudder and hand it back.  "Don't wear that one around the lab, Xander.  Please?"

He grinned.  "John burned it on me once."  He let Speed see it, making him chuckle.  Xander grinned at him once it was put up, turning to look at the woman in the doorway.  He saw her reading his shirt and shifted for her, making her groan.  "Yes, I am the stress relief fairy.  I should put that on a shirt too."  He held out a hand.  "Xander Winchester."

"Alexx Woods, this lab's ME.  You're where?  New field boy?"

"Calleigh's brilliant young lab tech and backup field boy."

She smiled and patted him on the cheek.  "You'll do fine.  Relax."

"I am.  If I'm uptight, I have weapons."  She walked off giggling.

"Seriously?" Speed asked.

Calleigh looked back at him.  "He has a personal exemplar."

"That's...very gun geek of you."  Xander just beamed at that compliment.  "You trained where?"

"Louisiana."

"Hmm.  So you're literally in the top thirty in the field."  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Good going, kid.  Shoo, let me get back to work.  Delko and the new boy are in the field fussing at each other."

"Fussing like the river in Egypt is singing to him sweetly at night, or fussing because I heard the new boy's a bit uptight?" Xander asked him.

Speed paused then cackled loudly, leaning on the table.  "Personally, it might be denial.  I don't know.  I'll have to ask Eric that later.  Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome."  He beamed.  "We're going to finish the tour with me getting a soda to drink on the way back to the lab and I'll be over there if you need me for any reason.  Speaking of," he said, moving closer, staring at him.  "You heard what?"

"Everything," he admitted.  "From Adam.  He wanted me to know the most pertinent parts so someone knew not to let you gorge on chocolate."

"Ah."  He leaned closer.  "I'll offer this to techs I know aren't comfy with their weapons, which I heard you're not.  If you need me to I can check it over periodically for you," he said in his ear, getting a nod.  He stepped back.  "Not saying it's necessary, but...."

"It's cool.  If I need that offer, I'll take you up on it."  Xander nodded and grinned, walking off.  "Adam said you were pushy," he muttered once he was gone.  "But now I know who had that sudden vision about me and the jewelry store."  He got back to work, thinking about their newest tech.  Adam said he pulled Horatio sized trouble and evil women.  Yeah, that was going to be fun to watch.

Xander came out of the break room with his soda, smiling at the guys coming in arguing.  "Ah, the sounds of college that I almost miss."  They stopped to stare at him.  He grinned.  "Hi, Xander Winchester, ballistics.  I'm Calleigh's new wonderful, young, enthusiastic, bouncy tech."  He waved since their hands were full.

"I'm Eric, this is Wolfe."

"Speed said stuff about both of you."  He gulped some of his soda, looking at them.  "Anything for me?  I'm clear I think."

"No, it was a stabbing."

"That's cool.  If you need me, come find me, guys."  He walked off.

"Was he flirting?" Eric asked quietly.

"No, I wasn't, Eric.  From the sit rep I got given by my former coworkers that's already very busy in your life," Xander called as he walked.  He heard Calleigh giggle at that.  He turned to grin.  "I may flirt, darling, but I'd never follow through unless I was sure it wouldn't turn weird on the job."  He walked in and tossed out his empty can, going back to work once he had on his coat and gloves.

Eric shook his head quickly.  "He's a mini Speed with a bad sense of humor," he decided, carrying his stuff on.  "Come on, Wolfe.  Let's get this logged in before you lose your mind wondering about him."

"I think he seemed nice and a bit playful," he told him, following along behind him.  "It's nice to have someone who can lighten the load when it gets too bad around here."  He dropped his bag on the trace table, taking the log sheet to log it in.  Speed gave him a dirty look.  "Stabbing in the park."

"And you brought back what?  Beyond animal fur on your shirt?"

He looked then stepped out of the lab to dust off.  He came back.  "Sorry, Eric had me getting a sample off the stray we found licking the blood pool."

"Ah."  He nodded, handing him a lint roller.  Ryan grinned, going to do that in the hall.  Xander came out to get his back for him then handed it back and walked off whistling.  "He's very active.  Too much caffeine?"

"Not enough," Xander called.  "Sorry."

"Take more then," Calleigh agreed.  She came over to help.  "Anything good?"

"Stabbing, dog licking at the blood pool," Eric told her.

"No wonder you had animal fur, Ryan."  She patted him on the back.  "Good lint roll job."  She dove in to help.  They looked at her.  "I'm clear and waiting on a case.  He's got ballistics covered so I'm bored."  They handed her a sample, getting a smile back.  "Thank you, boys."

Xander came jogging back. "FBI in the lab."  They groaned, making sure they were correctly attired and things.  He went to tell the others then went back to ballistics in time to intercept them coming in.  "Ah!  Open toed shoes are not allowed," he ordered with a point.  "Out!"  She backed out.  "Change your shoes, pull your hair back, and come back with gloves on."  She stomped off to talk to her superior.  Who stomped in.  "I follow protocol in this lab, whoever you are.  Lab coat and gloves, now."

"I'm on the oversight committee."

"Good, then you know you're doing wrong.  Put it on anyway or get out of my lab before you compromise something."  He stood in his way.  "I don't play footsie well, sir.  I step on toes when I have to," he said at the sneer.  "And I wear heavy ass boots."  He stepped back.  "Lab coat.  Gloves.  You know protocol if you're from the board.  You guys wrote the book and you should be able to spit it back better than any new student."

"Are you?" he sneered.

"Graduated two years ago."  He crossed his arms over his chest.  "It is against protocol for me to touch any piece of evidence in this lab when there are non-licensed and/or people breaking protocol in this lab.  Otherwise it can be thrown out.  Do it or move it.  You're keeping me from working."  He snarled but put on a lab coat and gloves.  "Thank you.  What did you need in ballistics?"

"You're who?"

"Alexander Winchester."

"The one with the terrorist death threat," he sneered.

"Yeah, because I actually listened to a hacker I knew online.  Unlike the first Fed she went to about verifying the information.  Pity since we found a huge ass bomb waiting for radioactive elements in that one."  He went pale.  "Anything else?"

"We're doing a lab audit."

"This is my first day, go ahead."  He got out of his way, going to work on his sample.  He knew his protocol and how to do things perfectly by the book.  He only had the one sample.  It wasn't like it was that hard.  He did catch himself mistyping his name but he had done that the last time he had switched too.  He made sure it was corrected everywhere and then started the search running.  He saw the man glaring at him.  "I did have to change identities thanks to that.  Now and then I still start to use my last name," he said quietly.  The man shuddered.  "Are you finding anything I need to fix before I go home tonight?"

"No," he snarled.  "Duquesne keeps a good lab."

Xander pointed at something behind him, both of the framed ratings articles now up there.  The man growled as he stomped out.  "Have a good day and remember to change gloves," he called with a short wave.  He went back to work.  Horatio stepped in a few minutes later.  "If Stella didn't tell you I am the protocol bitch about my lab, boss."

"She did and I do admire that.  Of course, pissing them off isn't wise."

Xander looked back at him.  "If he's part of the board, he should be able to spit it out chapter and verse.  If I hadn't called him on it, he'd be able to write me up.  Otherwise, I don't play politics.  Not like I want to run a lab."

"That is a good point."  He smiled, letting him finish his report and put it aside once the bullet was fully resealed and in the system.  "For?"

"Alexx brought it up."

"I'll take it and see then.  Anything that you see needs done?"

"Some mopping.  We're a bit dingy.  Trash could use taken out."  He looked around.  "Probably the monthly bullet sorting so she doesn't have to deal with it.  The exemplar's a bit dusty so I might spend some time cleaning it until we get another one."  That got a nod and a smile from his boss before he walked off.  Xander went to get what he needed, coming back to start with the dusting.  Then the mopping could be done.

Calleigh walked in.  "We have maintenance guys, Xander."

"They can't or don't do a great job.  It's dingy."

"Are you OCD?"

He looked at her.  "No.  I'm a protocol bitch in my lab, but no.  It needed to be done and I'm clear.  This way we get the sanitizing mop done too."

"If you want," she decided, looking at his last report.  She smiled at the ease of reading and the notations in it.  "Good report."  She walked off to go back over it.  "He's doing the cleaning work since he's clear, Speed."

"That's reasonable.  I do when I'm clear in here.  The cleaning trustees suck."

"He said ballistics is dingy.  He said he's not OCD, just a protocol pain-in-the-butt for our lab."

Speed nodded.  "Adam said that too."  She smirked.  "Did you have fun with all those guns?"

"I did, what I remember of it.  We kinda worked like dogs in a mine I think."  She shook her head quickly.  "I remember taking an artillery petting break when we got tired after that second bust.  Twelve thousand guns.  Two hundred pieces of artillery.  From *one* group and their apocalypse vaults."  He shuddered.  "After the first few dozen it starts to run together, but he was good.  He kept us going and happy enough.  He ordered dinner one night after he realized he had forgotten to eat for a few days.  When we finally passed out in the break room he slept in front of the couch so no one could bother me."

"Adam said he nearly bit someone who walked nearby," he told her.  "That he didn't want to go home because someone might bother you."

She smiled.  "He treats me like I'm special and a Goddess, but that I have sense and skills.  I'm sure his last girlfriends were happy about that, even if they were evil."  Speed and Eric both gave her a funny look.  "He said he only dates evil girls.  So did his family.  I warned Valera in case she has any evil girlfriends."

"So he'll like Eric's psycho exes?" Ryan joked.

"One, Wolfe, one.  Not many," Eric defended with a small glare.

"One?" Speed snorted.  "Sorry, have to agree with the mini-me there.  There's been, like, six, Eric."

"There has not!"  He got back to work, shaking his head.  "If he needs some nice girls to meet him, ask Alexx."

"She might," Calleigh agreed.

Xander walked in with something, holding it up for her inspection.  "Where did you find that?" she asked, taking it to look at.

"Under the long-term bullet storage.  I didn't think you were tiny enough for Barbie clothes, but you never know."  He walked off again, going back to his mopping.  Horatio stopped him to look at him.  "It needed to be done and I'm clear."

"That's fine, Xander.  They are huffy about you."

"If I hadn't, they would've written me up.  There is nothing on this plane that scares me if it walks like a human that I know of.  Even if I'm shaking in my shoes, I'm trained to react by attacking it, Horatio.  Next time they should be following clothing guidelines when they step into a lab.  She didn't need open-toed shoes to show off her pedicure.  He can figure out how to put on a lab coat and gloves."  That got a nod. "I'm sorry if I made things harder, but yay.  That's the protocol."  He walked off, getting back to his make work.

The head of the protocol board glared at Horatio.  "He has military service?"

"No comment."

Xander leaned out, looking at him.  "Where are you from?" he asked with a sweet smile.  The man glared so he walked over and wrote down a file number, staring at him.  He looked that one up and whimpered.  Xander just grinned.  "I am the protocol bitch about ballistics.  I'd yell at Calleigh if I found her breaking it the way you did.  I don't care who it is.  Maybe when I've been doing this for twenty or thirty years like Horatio has, I might relax some.  Until then, I follow protocol.  I also don't play politics.  I could care less about advancement.  I'm a lab tech.  That's all I am and all I want to be."

Horatio coughed.  "You did take the academy courses."

"The recruiter said I had to.  Doesn't mean I want to do more than take my detective's exam some year."  He shrugged.  "Not like I need the money from the rank raise either, Horatio."  That got a nod.  He looked at him again.  "If you want to ask me questions, I'm nice and polite until you try to fuck with me.  I even use easily understood terms on the stand if the defense attorney doesn't annoy me.  If I hadn't remarked, you could have written me up and I'll be damned.  You guys should be able to quote the book like I can."

"True, we can."  He stared at him, losing some of his sneer.  "You're very young."

"Not really."  He grinned.  "I'm just young seeming so I don't die of stress related complications."  He walked off again.  "Horatio, I found a broken microscope light.  Do I need to fill out a form or do we have bulbs?"

"I can get you one."  He looked at him.  "I consider those good traits," he said mildly, getting a growl and him walking off again.  Horatio smirked at his back.  That had upset him horribly but oh well.  Maybe they would tell him why they were pulling a pop exam now.  If not, perhaps he'd sic Xander on them later on.  He walked off to see if he could find out what was going on.

***

Valera walked into ballistics and looked around.  "Good.  You're not busy."  She smiled and he waved her over.  "Did anyone think to give you any warnings, Xander?"

He looked at her.  "About?"

"We have a slight rodent problem in the lab."

"Like the rats I hunted down in the evidence lock up in New York or like a gopher in Caddyshack or was it the mole?"

"Mole," she said with a grin. "We're trying to figure out who."  He pointed at her lab.  "Not me."

"I know it's not you."  He looked at her over the top of his glasses.  "You don't wear Feragamo shoes, Maxine."  She gaped.  "Do you?"

"Not unless I win the lottery," she complained.  He grinned.  "Do you?"

"No, I tried to indulge once.  John about smacked my head off my shoulders for doing rich boy things."

"John?"

"My uncle.  He watches out for me.  Makes sure none of the evil chicks I date try to kill anyone but me.  That sort of stuff."

She blinked a few times.  "You date what?"

He pulled up something on his computer, letting her see that part, making her whimper.  It was about a human woman he had dated.  Who just happened to want to send him to her God as a sacrifice of power but she had been good in bed so it all evened out in his life.  "Not the first."

"Oh, dear."

He laughed.  "The look on your face, Maxine."

She swatted him.  "For real?"

"Yeah.  Don Flack Junior, the detective who John dragged her bloody and screaming body to, was very amused.  John only winged her."  She shuddered.  "He said he was going to get the one who wanted to be a succuba but she fled."

"Uh-huh."  She considered it.  "Are you dangerous?"

"Only to some uptight people's sanity and people who annoy me."  She giggled.  "But otherwise I'm just fun, goofy, and mostly nice.  Unless I'm being threatened.  Then I kinda try to channel Ares, God of War, to make them beg."

"I'm going to like having you here but I'll warn my girlfriends that you're a dangerous boy who loves weapons."

"That too," he agreed with a grin, making her blush.  "I'm picky but so far I don't really date evil guys."

She walked out giggling, going to find Horatio.  "I've got to make sure none of my girlfriends want to date him.  Can I have a few?"  He nodded, walking her into his office and closing the door.  "How did my lab partner afford Feragamo shoes on our salary?"

He considered it.  "I do not know."

"Neither did Xander.  That's why he put her up for the mole when I warned him about it."

"Interesting.  I'll see why else he might think that."

"If those aren't knock offs, can I have a raise?"

He smiled.  "She did not buy them on a PD salary, Miss Valera."  She pouted.  "Thank you for telling me that."  She nodded and left, going back to her lunch break.  He went to check on Xander, finding him reading a journal with his feet up.  "Ankles swollen?"

"Floor's wet under me."  He looked up.  "How is she affording thirty-six-hundred dollar shoes?"

"That is an interesting question."  He shut the door.  "Other information sources?" he suggested.  Xander nodded.  "How many?"

"In any that I was down here during that.  In two I got mother-henned by Max," he said more quietly.  "She still seems nice."

Horatio nodded.  "She is.  She might, I don't know."  He moved closer, checking the floors.  "Sanitizing solution?"

"Yup.  Finally got rid of the dingy stuff."  He shifted some.  "I know I can shop.  I have that one life that spent a lot of time shopping.  That's part of the reason why I have sixty suits in my closet."

"I heard about the Dallas shopping incident from one of them during a convention," he said dryly.

"No one said I didn't like that salesman a lot," he teased with a grin.  "He was cute, nice, and had good taste."

"You should take Mr. Wolfe before Speed starts to nag about his track jackets."

"If he wants, I'll gladly take him, Horatio.  Not a problem."  He grinned.  "Any other orders?"

"I will look into that.  What do you remember of that time?"

"One of the ones I talked to said it's like an archive program on the computer.  The more I access them, the more I unzip the file.  And the louder they become."  That got a single nod.  He wrote down what he remembered.  "That's the most bright that I remember and what he said."  He handed it over.

Horatio read it then looked at him.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  I've got the unpacking spell to do tonight and then I'm good."

"Excellent.  Try to wear something less.... giggle producing tomorrow?"  Xander showed him that same picture, earning slight moan.  "That is evil."

"Which is why John burned it on me," he agreed with a grin. "Oh, I showed Max about one woman I dated up there."  That got an eye roll.   "Just in case it becomes pertinent."   He grinned.  "Anything else I can do for you today, Horatio?"

"For some reason I seem to need a rest," he said, walking off.

"Did it last time too," he called after him.  "That's its purpose."  Horatio gave him a dirty look before heading down the hall.  Xander put the photo in his book and checked the floor, then went down to the morgue.  "Hey, Alexx, do you have anything for me?"

"No, sugar.  Not a single bullet today."

"Damn.  I've already cleaned the lab."  He came in to look.  "Is that an injection mark?"  She frowned at him.  He pointed.  "There."

She looked then nodded.  "It is.  Run those samples up to Speed and tox please."  He nodded, taking the tray, getting a nod for it.  She shook her head.  "Poor baby is bored on his first day.  We'll go nuts."

"Just don't let him date," Maxine said from observation.  Alexx grinned up at her.  "He had one that nearly sacrificed him, Alexx."

"Baby boy needs better taste."

"I'll try but most of my girlfriends like being wicked.  Are we nearly done with mine?"

"Two more minutes."  She got back to work, walking the sample up to her then going back to work.  Valera hated being in autopsy while she had a body out.

***

Xander walked in the next day, nudging Ryan out of his way.  "Horatio said I should take you shopping with me so I can replace some of my stained overshirts."

He looked at him.  "I've heard the remarks about my track jackets, Xander."

"That too but I have to go soon anyway and I'm a pretty good finder of sales."

Ryan grinned but shook his head.  "No thanks."

"You sure?  I've gotta go anyway."

"Nah.  I'll go next payday."

"Sure.  If you need a shopping buddy let me know.  I did often enough with the girls in my former life."  That got a smirk.  "I did.  They abused me horribly as their approval committee and pack mule."

"Uh-huh."  He saw Speed huffing off wiping at his suit.  "That's not the best start to a day of testimony."

Xander whistled.  "Speed, need help?"

"Got something to take tea out of a suit jacket?"

"No but I've got my emergency suit in the car."  Speed gave him an odd look.  He handed Ryan the keys.  "The blue suit bag please?"  He nodded, going to get it.   Xander came over to look.  "I've got one that's a bit big on me so it should fit your chest better than mine."  He grinned.  "I might even be able to match the pants."  Ryan came back with the two bags.  "John put in another one?"

"Maybe.  They were both in your trunk."  He handed back the keys.  "Hope it goes better, Speed."

"Thanks, Wolfe."  He led Xander off to the changing area, letting him look at the suits and hand one over.  "This is nice."

"Sale in Dallas a few years back," he offered with a grin.  "Just before I graduated."

"That's cool."  He went to try it on, coming out with it unbuttoned.  "A bit tight."

Xander handed over a different one.  "That one's untailored.  That should fit you better."  Speed went to change, bringing out the original.  This one did fit him very well and he looked good in it.  "There, borrow away.   The pants are a bit short, sorry."

He looked down.  "Not really.  They hit at my ankle instead of the top of my foot.  That's fine."  He patted him on the back.  "Why do you have the emergency suit bag?"

"Because I don't always know when I'll be called in and I don't always remember."  He hung them in his locker and shut the door, looking at him.  "Shoo, go.  Clean it and give it back."  Speed grinned, heading out.

"That is a nice suit," Calleigh said before walking into the changing area.  "Where did you get it?"

"It's Xander's, I spilled tea on mine."  He jogged down to take the hummer to the courthouse, making Horatio give him an appreciative look as well.  "Xander's since I spilled my tea."

"You look very nice, Speed."  He handed him the case notes so they could go over them before they were called to testify.  The suit did highlight his body very well.  The women passing by were giving him a lot of stares.  He nudged him at one.

Speed looked up and grinned.  "Hey, Pam.  You in here to testify?"

"No, I'm temping."

"That's cool.  I'm testifying sometime today."  She nodded, leaving him alone so she could wipe the drool off.

"That is why I suggested he take Mr. Wolfe to the store as well," Horatio told him.

"Wolfe could use a bit of style help," he agreed.  He got up as the bailiff came out, heading in to be sworn in.

***

Calleigh looked at Xander later that day.  "Where did you get the suit?"

"Dallas.  We went before I graduated so I got to hit the end of the year sales."  He glanced over at her and grinned.  "I have a lot of pretty suits and I totally had problems that day with every bad guy in the city showing up in my path."  He went back to work.  At least until he flinched at the sound of breaking glass.  "That's bad.  Seal that for me?"  He jogged out to check, finding Maxine holding a bleeding spot.  "Max."  He sat her down, checking her over.  "It's shock, Max.  You're all right.  I promise you are.  You're not seriously bleeding or anything."  He took the first aid kit an officer handed him, opening it to pull out gauze and tape so he could fix her up.  She blinked at him.  "I'm good at first aid," he said with a wink and a grin.  "Keep still so you don't need stitches and won't scar."  She nodded, letting him work.

Alexx stomped their way.  "What are you doing?"

"Well, right now I'm using the tweezers to pull out this tiny piece of glass in her cheek," he said as he did that.  "Then I'm going to take that butterfly bandage and apply it properly so the wound seals.  Then I'm going to dab some neosporin over it and then apply a covering bandage."  He did as he had said and Max smiled.  "There you go.  C'mon, let's get you something to drink so you can quit being stared at.  Guys, this is not a show!" he said hotly.  They backed off and someone called the shift supervisor.  He helped her up and to the break room, making her some tea and handing it over.  "There you go.  Are you okay otherwise?"

"I'm fine, Xander.  Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Some day you can fuss over one of my injuries."  She grinned so he patted her on the shoulder and left, going to face down Alexx.  She was glaring and tapping a foot.  "What?  It wasn't a bad injury.  She would've gotten the same thing at the ER."

"You're not a doctor."

"No, but I'm damn good enough to do stitches, Alexx."  Her mouth opened.  He shrugged.  "My town was kinda rough and I had drunk parents.  Our local hospital nearly killed me bollixing up my appendectomy.  Twice.  Without painkillers."  She shuddered at that.  "I can apply bandages, butterflies, and if I thought it was in the least bit more than a few glass shards in her cheek and hand, then I would've told the paramedics that once I had bandaged the lesser things."

She stepped closer.  "You don't get that knowledge without training."

"True, but I had a necessity and I watched my best friend learn it out of her mom's textbooks."  She looked pissed but he knew it wasn't at him.  "She did a pretty good job on my stitches when she did them.  I have a steadier hand though."  Ryan came jogging in.  "Max is fine.  Natalia is fussing and whining with Eric helping her and the paramedics.  Max is in the break room with some tea."  He nodded, going to check on her.  He stared down Alexx again.  "I can do a lot more than most people think, Alexx.  For some reason women seem to only see me as this nice, goofy, sweet guy that they think they can run over.  Calleigh knows I have skills.  So do some others.  You can join that group if you want," he offered with a grin.

She smacked at him, making him duck.  "That was not nice."

He smirked.  "Yes it was.  Because you think no one can apply bandaids.  I've done plenty of them.   You can check the ones I did just now if you want."  He went to clean up and go back to ballistics.  Calleigh gave him a heated look.  "Don't you start in on the Xander's helpless and normal rant too," he said quietly.

"I'm not.  We're still supposed to let the paramedics handle it."

"Why make her suffer?  They weren't here yet."  He got back to work.  "They're fine.  Eric's babying Natalia.  Max has tea in the break room."  Horatio walked in, giving him a look.  "Tell her I'm competent to do bandaids?"

"He did butterflies on Maxine's cheek when something glass cut her and Boa Vista, Horatio," Calleigh reported.  She didn't wince when Alexx came in as well.

"Technically, part of his last life was a bit hard to handle and he did learn how to do that sort of thing, but he should not be doing it in the lab unless it is an emergency."

"Fine, next time I'll be a fainting girl at the sight of blood," he said, giving him a dirty look.  "They're fine."

"I'm sure they are," he agreed, coming closer.  Calleigh escaped because this was looking like a personal talk.  "This is another level of protocol, Xander.  Lab rules state that paramedics should put on bandaids and butterflies so they can file the proper forms with the chief."

Xander grimaced.  "They still can."

"And are, but we don't want him down here getting mad at us because he wanted the proper officials to look her over.  That way we couldn't mistake something serious for something more minor."

Xander stared at him.  "I'm damn good at what needs to go to the ER and what I should not and cannot handle," he said quietly.

"I know you are.  Mac also told me how you nearly did your own stitches in the ER that time," he reminded him.  Xander grimaced.  "It'll be fine.  I promise it will be.  Next time render first aid until the paramedics get here and then let them do the proper thing for the paperwork."  Xander nodded at that.  "Now, do we have any idea what happened?"

"The glass looked like worktop table glass," Xander said.

"It looked like her work table exploded for some reason," Alexx agreed.  "You can stitch?"

Xander nodded.  "I can stitch pretty well unless I'm sewing on patches."

"Why?"

"Because my town was kinda rough and the ER sucked monkey balls."  She blushed but walked out shaking her head.  He glared at Horatio, who simply stared back.  "Bandaids too?"

"Yes, even those.  That way they can assess and do the paperwork so we can get reimbursed for it."  He looked around the lab.  "Why do you have so many envelopes out?"

He pointed.  "That's Calleigh's.  She wanted it for her recert stuff."  That got a hum and a nod, Horatio shifting slightly closer yet off to the side to listen to him better.  "She said to leave it as is so I am."

"That's fine.  How is going in here?"

"I kinda miss what I had.  Maybe it would've been better if I had gone into a different life," he said quietly.

"There's always going to be some differences," he agreed gently, giving him a small smile.  "John let me see what you wrote about the memories."  Xander blushed, looking down.  He patted him on the head.  "Should something happen in that manner, you'll handle it professionally.  I'm not sure what his feelings would be."

"One of the reasons I chose this way was because I thought they might understand since they did before."

"I understand that.  I also understand part of what you've seen and done before.  I've had to stop myself from jumping in many times."  Calleigh stormed back in.  "He's not in trouble for doing Miss Valera's bandaids and getting her to the breakroom for tea to treat her shock, Calleigh.  The paramedics weren't here so he did what came naturally to him."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Take Mr. Wolfe shopping?"

"I offered."

"I'll suggest it.  I did like the suit Speed borrowed."  He smiled at Calleigh.  "Any idea what caused the table to snap that way?"

"Eric put down something too hard and it caused a small fracture.  The centrifuge was going."

"It shimmied just right and finished snapping it," Xander said.  She nodded.  "Is Natalia okay?"

"She should be.  She was clinging to Eric while chewing him a new one over that mistake.  Alexx told the shift supervisor you stepped in to handle things when he glared at her."

"All I did was stop Maxine's bleeding and then apply appropriate coverings," he told her.  "Then I got her tea because she was in shock."

"She said you can stitch?"

"Except patches on clothes, I can."  He grinned.  "I'm a talented guy, Calleigh."

She stared at him for a moment.  "Why don't you like Natalia?"

"I know how I afford designer duds.  I know how you do because I've seen you shopping the clearance and outlet stores."  She blushed at that.  "I didn't know Chanel had an outlet store," he told her quietly.  She frowned and looked up the hall then gaped at him.  "Feragamo shoes the other day on our salaries?"

"How do you afford it?" she asked.

"I have money."

"Why?" she asked patiently.

He grinned.  "It goes back to why I'm hiding, dear.  Until you know the whole story, I can't tell you more than I basically went and did some tomb diving for some bad stuff that shouldn't be in normal hands."

She looked at Horatio.  "Can you please translate that for me?"

"I know how he did it.  Speaking of, is your ex in your account again?"

"No, that's the stuff I left in that one life."

He rolled his eyes.  "When is the other being moved down here, Xander?"

"Three weeks.  Bank-to-bank transfer.  They had to verify the last few checks I had on the old account."  That got a nod of understanding.  "Besides, what do I need to buy?  We have groceries and stuff with my paycheck.  We have the house."

"That is true.  When are you going to have the open house?"

Xander shrugged.  "No idea.  Ask John."

"I can do that."  He gave him another pat and a smile.  "Next time act more flustered.  People are going to suspect something."

"Anyone who's seen me would think I had to learn all these skills to keep myself safe, Horatio, and they're partially right."

"Is that why you can do stitches?" Calleigh asked.  Xander pulled up his current t-shirt to show her the scar, making her hiss.  "What did that?"

"Appendix surgery.  Then they had to go in to fix what they did wrong."  He put his shirt back down.  "Our hospital out there sucked.  My friend learned out of her mom's textbook and I learned from her."

"So you'll step in the next time one of us gets shot?"

"If it's something critical that the ambulance hasn't gotten to yet, yup.  Expect me to jump in and do what I can to save a life," he said, looking totally serious.  She nodded at that.  "Today I just plucked out some half-embedded glass and put on bandaids or butterflies."

"The paramedics said he did a good job of that too," Maxine said from the doorway.  "Don't yell at him, Horatio.  He was trying to help."

"I'm not, Maxine.  Just reminding him of protocol.  If there was no help coming I would expect him to do the same again."  She smiled and nodded.  He looked at Calleigh.  "Don't worry about where his money came from, Calleigh.  It's fine and it keeps him slightly safer."

"But insane now and then," he quipped with a grin.  "Especially after someone came to Mac to buy me.  He had to call Internal Affairs to talk to them about it since it was wrong."

"I heard about that as well.  I would hope none of them came after you down here," Horatio said blandly, giving him a dirty look.

"I fixed the reason they came after me that night.  I even gave Hillbourne the half of it for donations that he demanded.  I only made out a little bit of it so he could figure out where the rest went.  With the way the higher ups let him kiss their butts, I figured he had heard complaints."  Horatio coughed to smother a laugh.  Maxine didn't bother.  She leaned on the doorway to laugh herself sick.  He grinned at Calleigh.  "I can shop okay if you want help too."

"Take Ryan and Speed," she ordered.

"They might mind if I took them in the way you're thinking since you're blushing," he said dryly, making her blush brighter.  He grinned.  "I'd only go for a coworker if I was sure it wouldn't screw up anything in the work relationships, Calleigh."

"You might unstiffen them sometimes," Max teased.  Xander grinned back.  "Ryan could use it but he wouldn't let me help him at all.  I offered."

"It's not a guy thing to shop," he reminded her.

"True."  She came in to kiss him on the cheek.  "Thank you, Xander."  She walked off happier.  Natalia was still fussing.  "Does she need some tea for her nerves?  The box is down since Xander made me some."

"She probably could," Eric agreed, walking her that way.  He'd have to tell Speed about this later.  Something strange was going on with their new tech.  He glanced in and found him staring off into space then smiled and said something to Horatio.  Calleigh was getting some water in the break room with him.  "Is he all right?"

"He's fine.  Apparently he's had to do first aid a lot of times before."  She shrugged, handing him the pot of warm water off the kettle heater.  "Here."  He smiled and added it to a cup with a tea bag, handing it to Natalia.  "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine but it's going to take hours to get it cleaned up so we can verify samples."

Maxine leaned in.  "Maintenance is already in there.  Come help sweep."  Natalia gave her such a strange look.  "There's samples out.  We have to be in there to verify that no one else tampers with them, Natalia.  We might as well help sweep up the glass."

"I can help," Eric said, following her back to do that.  "So, what do you think about the new guy?" he asked while they worked.

"I think there's things about his past life that we'll probably never find out, Eric.  It sounds like it was a pretty hard life.  He told Horatio he knew how to stitch up people because the town's hospital sucked monkey balls, his wording, and his friend learned from her mom's textbooks.  He learned it from his friend.  He even said he's got a pretty good hand at them.  I'm thinking if he needed to know it that well, his town was thug central now and then."

"Possibly."  He helped sweep the other end of the room.  "I'm sorry, Max."

"It's fine, Eric.  That's why it's called an accident."  He grinned.  "Watch out for her samples."

"I am."  He looked toward the break room then at her.  "You have more scratches."

"Apparently I'm a tougher woman," she said sarcastically but quietly, cracking him up.  "Some girls faint.  Some girls whine.  Some just shrug and keep going.  He had the butterflies on before I realized the glass was gone and Alexx was nagging him."

"That's good."  Speed stomped in.  "That's a nice suit.  I guess he went shopping."

"No, he spilled tea on his this morning.  Xander leant it to him."  Eric gave her an amused look.  "Seriously.  He had an emergency suit bag in his trunk from what Ryan said.  Ryan also said that apparently John had put in a second one for some reason.  So he let Speed pick.  He does look nice in it."  Speed came to the door.  "You look hot."

"Thank you.  He needs to take Wolfe."

"He suggested, Ryan turned him down," she told him.

"Uh-huh.  I'll talk to Wolfe later."  He looked around.  "What happened?"  Eric raised his hand.  "Are you having toddler oops days again?"

"He put down a pickaxe too hard," she told him.  "It cracked and the centerfuge made it snap.  We're fine.  Natalia's drinking some tea to calm down in the break room.  Xander did my booboos before even Alexx could get there."

"Really?"  He leaned on the doorway, looking her over.  "They look well bandaged."

"She said the same thing.  Apparently Xander can do stitches and things."

"Huh."  He looked around.  "Let me change and I'll come help, guys."

"We ran the maintenance guy off already.  He'll come back to haul things once I've got the samples and machines out of the way.  Can you take my major stuff to a layout room?"

"That I can do."  He went to change and came back to help, finding Wolfe coming in with his case.  "Natalia and Maxine are fine."

"I heard that their table snapped.  Are we sure?"

"Bandaids."

"Good.  Let me drop this and the new evidence I got to contrast against and I'll help the clean up."

"Then later on, let Xander take you shopping."

Ryan grimaced.  "I'm fine."

"Ryan, I know I wore sloppy t-shirts but I had to change to uphold the image of the lab.  Track jackets are your version of sloppy t-shirts.  All of us had to grow a personal style that was more competent looking.  Take Xander shopping.  I'm not saying you have to have a suit, but get something better."

"Fine."

"Thank you."

"Payday?"

"Would be fine," Speed agreed patiently.  "Besides, he could probably use more fun.  Take him to Dave and Barry's, that adult Chucky Cheese place."

"That is a fun place," he agreed with a grin.  He headed to drop his evidence off and log it in, then went to help them clean up and move the DNA lab.  He found Xander later that night.  "Speed ordered me to take you shopping and then out to play."

Xander blushed a bit.  "Gee, Ryan, I usually only flirt but if Speed's sure that you go that way."

Ryan bopped him on the arm with a grin.  "He said it'd be a good payback for helping me find better shirts and stuff."

"We can do that.  When did you want to go?"

"Payday?  That weekend?"

"Okay."  He grinned.  "No date needed to pay me back.  I could use a few new shirts."

Ryan looked at his present t-shirt.  _766: Upstairs neighbor of the Beast - who usually complains about the party's noise._   "How do you find those?"

"Here and there," he said with a hand flick in the air and a smug grin.  "I have worse."

"I'm sure you do.  Doesn't Horatio complain?"

"He probably would if I was in the field and it was too smartass but otherwise, who's going to see?  Especially with my lab coat."

"Good point."  He grinned.  "I'll figure out when we can go payday?"

"Let me know."  He patted him on the head.  "Get a haircut too, Ryan."

"You too," he joked.

"I know.  It's growing really fast now and I don't know why.  I think it wants to be down to my waist and attract people to pet me."  He walked off shaking his head.

Ryan giggled at that image.  He couldn't see Xander being that way at all.  He saw Horatio watching and nodded.  "We'll go fix my track jackets that Speed ordered me to fix on payday."

"As long as you look competent, professional enough yet can work in the field, and you won't sweat to death in it, it's good," he told him.

"I think we can manage that."

"Good.  Though I do agree, you could use a trim and so could he."  Ryan walked off grinning.  Horatio smiled at his back, going to check on the rest of the lab.  He found Xander leaning on his car hood so he checked his watch.  It was already quitting time.  "Are we clear?"

"Yup.  Nightshift has nothing.  Non-felony has nothing leftover.  The gun crimes decided to take a few easy days."

"That's fine.  Have a good night, Xander."

"I'm gonna try."  He looked at the person he was talking to, getting a grin back.  "He's a good boss.  Take the classes and see if you can handle all the sciency stuff.  I did and look at me."

"I might do that," the patrol officer agreed, going to look up what classes he would need.  Horatio stopped him and wrote down a name and number.  "Thank you, sir."

"He's the advisor for all PD people taking lab classes.  He'll have the sheet of things you'll need."  That got a nod and a grin, the officer bouncing off.  "Which lab does he want?"

"He wants to work with Maxine."

"That is an interesting field.  Go home."  Xander got off his hood and walked around to get in and drive.  Horatio watched him go because he was a bouncy, dynamic young man that was going to drive him nuts with those t-shirts of his.  How his other selves hadn't he wasn't sure, but some were probably very bad.  He should take Mac's advice and go sort them out for the boy.  Though that might make him buy more, which could be very brain rattling.  Speed came out to stand next to him.  "An officer was just asking Xander about training to be a CSI."

"In a few years we might have to replace one."

"Well before then if I find out someone's information was correct," he said.

"The mole?"

"I do have a good bit of information.  I'm checking the validity of the tips."

Speed stared at him.  "What source does Xander have?"

"Many strange ones."  He smiled.  "Don't worry about it, Speed."

"I know it's not me."

"No it is not."

"Good."  He went for his bike.  "Anything else good happen?"

"Mr. Wolfe and our young tech will go fix his track jackets on payday."

"Even better.  I'll get that suit cleaned and hand it back tomorrow."

"You might see if he can find you another one since you only have the one, Speed."

"I'm not exactly the suit sort, Horatio," he said blandly, giving him a dirty look, getting a smirk back.  "If I need another one for being married or buried, I'll ask him."

"Do not joke about that."

Speed stared at him.  He walked back.  "He's the one who tipped off about my gun."  Horatio nodded silently.  "How did he know?"

"I can't divulge that."

"Uh-huh.  Is this the same source?"

"Relatively."  He smiled.  "Should I start instituting pop checks?"

"It's clean and the kid said he'd do it for me if I forgot."  Horatio nodded at that.  "I'm sorry I'm not as comfortable with it as I am everything else."

"Some of us are comfortable with our weapons and some are not.  You're comfortable with the evidence and that end of the field.  It's a common thing, just one we have to watch out for."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "Go home so we can do it all again tomorrow, Speed."

"Fine.  Some day I'll find out who his source is."

"I'm sure you will.   But it might not be what you want to hear or think about."

"Maybe.  We'll see."  He walked back to his bike and got on, driving off into the night.

Horatio smiled.  "That would warp your mind for a few good weeks, Speed," he said quietly.  "Then we'll see what you think."  Calleigh came out.  "Xander said you were clear."

"We are.  He's a quick little guy."  She smiled.  "I have a date tonight."

"Good luck."

"I can shoot him if he gets too grabby."  She walked out to her jeep and got in, then got out at the beep.  "Horatio, I beeped."  He jogged over to check, finding the thing that had fallen under her seat.  She sighed in relief, taking the little voice messaging thing to put next to her.  She set it off to see what she had forgotten, getting a male voice on it telling her that she wasn't too careful.  They shared a look and he took it.  She took an officer to check her house.  That was not nice of someone.

Horatio listened to the voice then called Xander.  "Did you remember Calleigh being stalked?" he asked quietly.  He got a 'no, but if I find them I'll present them to her' offer.  "That would be good.  Do be on the watch for it."  He hung up and went to let AV log it in and analyze it.  Calleigh was going to rip someone apart.  That voice sounded so familiar to him.

The Many Mystical Mes 13.

Two days later Xander walked in someone by his arm, waving at the receptionist.  "Horatio or Calleigh in yet?"

"Both are, Winchester.  Did you need a uniform to help you?"  He shook his head.  "Did you arrest him?" she pressed.

"I found him outside my house trying to take pictures of us inside."  He grinned.  "I am qualified to do this too."  She glared.  "I had to do the academy to hit the NYPD lab, Gloria."  She groaned, shaking her head.  "Really.  Second in my class.  We're good."  He hauled him to Horatio's office, handing him over.  "Taking pictures inside my house from the bushes."

Horatio looked at him.  "Who is he?"  Xander tossed over the guy's wallet.  "Interesting.  Calleigh?" he yelled.  She came jogging in.  "He was trying to take pictures of your tech's house from the bushes."

"He's not right and he's going to make her dirty," the man sneered.  He glared at Xander.  "You're not a cop."  He pulled out his badge, getting a hiss.  "You're still dirty."

"No I'm not.  I had the money before I became a cop."  He put it back, giving him a smug look.  "You're still doing things that can get you charged under the anti-stalking laws.  I'd suggest you be nicer before I have to break the law and kick your ass for upsetting one of us."  The man moved away from him.  "So, anyway, John wanted to beat him but since I saw him first that would put him officially in custody.  John's not a happy camper today because of that.  Well, and Sam and Dean are heading off for a few weeks of work so he's grumpy for that reason too.  I told him he could if he wanted, but he bopped me on the head and threatened to poison me for breakfast."  He shrugged.  "All yours, boss lady."  He walked off.

"He is?" Calleigh asked.

"Mac told him he had to," Horatio told her.  "Since he's field rated as his minor."

"Oh.  And if he had to spend any big amount of time in the field he'd have to be an officer."  Horatio nodded.  "I guess that comes in handy."  She looked at him.  "He's a nice, goofy kid.  Really."

"He has too many weapons, he drives too fancy of a car, and he pulled two suit bags out of his car to casually talk about them and hand one to Speedle."

"He has money."

"He's not from a rich family," he sneered.  "He's too common.  We would've heard and seen him if he had won a lottery.  That means he got it illegally."

Horatio coughed.  "I do know how he got the money and it was not illegal.  It was actually helpful when he found something that was dangerous and handed it over.  It was the reward for that."  The guy sneered.  "That, some careful management and being mostly frugal...  And one person that had wanted to own him up in New York tried to bribe him.  Internal Affairs let him keep half of it since there were four bags of money and gems."  The guy sneered.  He looked at Calleigh.  "Have him fill out a charge sheet?"

She called.  "Charge sheet?"  She smiled, going down to get it from him.  He was rereading and then signed it, handing it over.  "Thank you, Xander."  She walked back up there.  "He was already doing it, Horatio."

"Good."  He took it and the man down to the Internal Affair's office, handing them both to Rick Stetler.  "He was trying to stalk my new ballistics tech."

"Your new ballistics tech is strange and has a record from New York," he sneered.

"That is easily explained I'm sure."

"That buying thing?"

"Two who wanted to own him. He said he got frustrated when the first showed up, told them they had to talk to his supervisor since he owned him.  Mac had to call in Internal Affairs because they were offering to bribe him.  Plus you guys could out-stubborn them both.  They finally left the money there and stomped off.  The officer from IAB up there said he had to donate half and could keep the rest.  Four large wheeled bags of money and jewelry."

Rick shuddered.  "Why would they want him?"

"For personal and private reasons, Rick.  They wanted him as a concubine."  Rick shuddered harder.  So did the officer.  "Was there another point of doubt on his record?"

"It lists a prior death threat?"

"As he told us, his former friend, a female friend he'd had since the first day of school, managed to mess up something that got them the attention of a group of paranormal researchers out of England.  They have a three-quarters of a million dollar contract out on him to have him captured for dissection then death."

"In that order?" Rick demanded.  Horatio nodded.  "So that's why he was doing home-grown witness protection?"  Horatio nodded again.  "He's a bit flashy and open."

"He's young, Rick.  He's only twenty-seven."  That got a moan.  "Though he can handle it.  His original town was a bit rough.  As we found out with that accident, the boy can even stitch injuries if he has to and no one more appropriate is available."  He smirked.  "The ATF has that same note about his prior life and two sealed files from it, Rick."  He walked off happier.  He loved to piss the little worm off.

Stetler looked at the guy.  "What did you find out?"

"He has a lot of guns, loose cash in the house that's more than we make, and he's a bit strange.  He was talking to himself last night."

He considered it.  "I want a full account."

"Am I off the hook?"

"That depends on what I get from you."

***

Xander walked in four hours later.  "It's amazing.  When I checked the booking system the guy's not in it yet."  Horatio growled.  "And if Stetler thinks that warrant he got an hour ago is going to help him, he's sadly mistaken.  John will put him on his ass if he gets in his face.  Every weapon we have openly in the house is licensed.  So are most of the ones in my sanctuary and I made sure no one can get through it without me or a Winchester helping them."

"Will it look strange?"

"He'll think it's a really shallow closet."

"Good."  He looked at him.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm going to kick his ass.  John said he was handling a demon that rushed up on him when I called to warn him that they were coming.  He's making sure things are put away where they should be.  Including the mail and stuff."

Horatio nodded.  "He does have your record from up there."

"It's pitiful things, like I offered two dirty cops fighting in a lab hallway, one who shot off his weapon accidentally, a supervisor instead of Internal Affairs."

"I didn't know about that one.  He did mention the buying thing."  They shared a dry look.  "Go.  Are you clear?"

"Not hardly.  I'll make it up later."  That got a nod and Xander went home, looking casual.  He walked in and tossed someone out of his house.  "You don't touch the swords.  They're sharp.  Like any kid, you'll cut yourself."  He looked at Stetler.  "What did you want to know?  You could *ask*.  I do answer polite questions."

"Why is there a case from a rocket launcher under your couch?"

"I used it as a footlocker when I found it during my training.  It's empty."

"I saw that," he sneered.

"It makes a good footlocker and the other tech trainees thought it was cute.  Very me."  He grinned.  "There's nothing illegal with owning an empty case.  It's owning what should be inside the case that gets you in trouble."

Rick pointed at the doorway.  "What's through there?"

"A closet."

"I saw a hallway, Winchester."

Xander stared at him.  "Huh.  I didn't know you had hallucinations.  Are you on appropriate medication for that?"  Rick snarled.  He shrugged and sat down.  "You can ask, like anyone else.  I do answer questions."

"We found six thousand dollars laying loose around the house."

"I'm worth over eighty mil, Stetler."  The man gaped.  "I have money.  I don't do or sell drugs.  Or weapons.  My weapons are my babies."

"We found one that's not licensed," he said, smirking.

"Really?  I thought I had them all licensed."  He got up to get the binder with that.  "Which one was it?"

"A browning."

"Dumbass, that's my NYPD service piece," he said dryly, looking at him.  "I need to ship that back to Mac.  I was asleep when the death threat came over so they didn't have me sign forms at the office."  He called.  "Mac, did I forget to hand back my sidearm?"  He smiled.  "Thanks, please tell the nice Internal Affair's person that?"  He handed over the phone.

"This is Rick Stetler.  That gun is his NYPD issued firearm?"  He listened to what had happened, nodding and making notes.  "Didn't he sign the forms for release from the job?"  He made another note.  "Thank you.... Detective Taylor."  He hung up.  "You lucked out."

"No, I do tend to stay within the law most of the time," he said dryly.  "I'm like that.  Unless I have to save someone by heroic and evil means, I'm good."  Horatio strolled in with the Chief.  "Horatio, he found out I still have my NYPD issued piece.  I need to add that to my registration later.  I didn't realize I still had it.  I thought John had handed it over."

"Mac called and said that.  He said he's filled out the forms and the bosses up there think it's a good thing even though you have your own collection."

Xander nodded.  "Then I'll just add it to my current registration file."  He looked at Stetler.  "By the way, if you confiscated the cash laying around the house without proper cause, I will sue you and the department.  Especially since it's not unreasonable for a man of my wealth to have six grand laying around the house.  Especially with the rest of it having to be shipped down from New York next week."

"That is correct," the Chief agreed.

"He has an empty artillery case under the couch," Stetler told him.

"It's been empty; I used it as a footlocker during my training.  The other CSI tech trainees thought it was very me and none of the others tried to bother it."

The Chief looked at him.  "You have a personal exemplar?"  Xander handed over the binder, getting a look at the guns.  "You certainly do like weapons."

"That's why I'm a gun geek, sir, and a ballistics tech."

"One rated very high on the national certification tests," Horatio agreed.

"I saw that and I did hear about you from the bosses up there, Winchester."  Xander grinned.  "Including the name change."

"It's the easiest step since they only knew my name, sir."

"Good.  Are you an officer?"

"I'm rated and certified as a field tech.  NYPD rules said if I was going to keep that I had to do the academy and my ride along as a formality.  I did five weeks of my ride along when the lab got backlogged and my overseeing supervisor decided he hated CSIs.  That's why I got pulled back with my ride along supervisor to do a Vice bust that netted about sixty weapons total and one guy that had stolen some of them.  The tech I split a lab with was out with a broken leg at the time."

"That's reasonable," he agreed.  "You are an officer?"  Xander nodded.  "Do you wish to stay one?"

"I'd rather be a lab tech, sir.  Some day I might take my detective's exam but otherwise I don't play politics, I could care less about the hierarchy outside my lab supervisors, and I'm not looking toward running a lab some day.  I want backup field status.   When we're short of people or an all-hands situation."

"Good."  He handed the binder back.  "Rick, was there more reason to assume he was doing bad things?"

"The officer who spotted him said he was transacting things with two young men last night."

"They're John's sons.  John watches over me as a dad-type person for when I need a leash or help.  I was giving his sons gas money and money for new shirts.  I spoil them rotten according to John."

"Why do you get watched over?"

Xander looked at him.  "For the same reason two people came up to buy me in New York," he said blandly.  "The original death threat."  He looked at Horatio, then shrugged.  "He's met John.  John likes to nag about it when I don't sleep and eat too.  He and Mac talked a number of times about my forgetting to eat while I was working."

"He did," Horatio agreed with a slight smile.  "Mac said he was always very polite when he had to call to nag."

Xander nodded.  "He whaps me on the head or something when I'm not.  Got onto me when I went to the bar with some of the interns at the convention for hiring.  Took me suit shopping in Dallas and nagged that I hit on the salespeople."

The Chief coughed.  "That's fine, son."  He looked at Rick.  "Do you have any concrete proof?"

"I know he's doing something wrong.  He has a door that leads to a hallway I can't access."

"It's a closet," Xander told him.  "Sir, I think the stress is getting to him."  He opened the door so he could see.  He had forgotten Rick could see through illusions.  The Chief gave him a look so he knew he couldn't.  He shut it.  "It's an odd place for a closet but it's helpful."  He leaned on the door.  "Now, is there anything else or can Paranoia Man leave and learn how to ask me if he has questions?  I try very hard to be polite when the higher ups ask me things.  If they annoy me, they get sarcasm, but if they're generally polite and not sneering I do tend to answer ones.  I did when the Chief up there got scared because of the two people who tried to buy me and I had to face down him and his chosen IAB person about their bugs."

"That's fine.  I'm sure Rick Stetler will learn how to ask you questions when he has one."

"And my money and guns will be back when?"

"Within an hour, son.  Do you need to take today off?"

"John will fuss them into place again until I get off shift.  I have work to do.  Or else real criminals go free."

The Chief gave him a dirty look.  "No need to be snide."

"I find it odd he's down on me since I handed over information an online friend found and it stopped seven *major* issues in New York.  Which is why I was getting help from Calleigh with that one series of busts.  It's not like I didn't help stop terrorists or something, sir."

"I know.  Calm down.  Pet your guns for a bit before coming back, son.  Stetler, get them back here."

"Where is this John?"

"I think he took a walk so he wouldn't punch you," Xander told him dryly.  "Like his text said."  He texted him and he showed back up.  "Thank you, John."

"Welcome, kid.  Go back to work.  I'll fuss things into place."

"Sure."  He looked at Rick.  "One hour."  He sneered back.  Xander smirked.  "Hey, harassment is wrong."  He stepped back at that.  "I can take my national level ratings and go work for the ATF.  They like me."  He stomped out at that.  He looked at the Chief.  "I'm going to be blunt, sir.  I'm good until you fuck with me for no reason.  If he comes back, I'm going to have to react and I'm going to end up making his life miserable.  It's just the man I am."  That got a nod.  "So I'm very sorry in advance since he seems to be stalking Lieutenant Caine and didn't put the officer I found taking pictures of my house from my bushes into jail."  He walked off groaning.  He looked at Horatio.  "I don't know how you put up with him in your panties, Horatio.  I really don't."

"I tend to make him go do something else quickly."  He gave him a look.  "Finish up here."

"Go.  I've got it."  Xander nodded, heading off with Horatio to go back to work.  John calmed himself down.  The guns and money came back, so he got to mark things off.  Including the one Browning that wasn't on the list.  He called him.  "We have a Browning nine that's not listed?"  He smiled and made note.  "I'll text that to you."  He hung up and texted the serial number so he could amend his registration.  Let's see the guys try this again.

***

Xander walked into Horatio's office that night, handing over his badge and the letter he got found in his mailbox.  "No way in hell am I going to patrol.  If this means I give up my lab, so be it, I'll go work for the ATF."  He walked off.  "Let me know."

Horatio looked at the letter then called the person who had signed it.  "This is Lieutenant Caine.  Is he in?"  He smiled.  "Thank you.  Yes, I'll be right there."  He took both things down there, handing him back the letter.  "He had to take it as a formality since he's field rated, sir.  He's threatened to quit.  I am not losing my lab tech."

"He never completed his ride along."

"He was short by four days due to his real job calling thanks to the other tech being out with an injury.  He's only been out on three field cases.  He's not an officer and he has offered to give up his badge if that will solve this issue."

The Chief considered it.  "He was rated very well though his supervisor did note that they had to talk about proper pouncing procedure once.  He claimed it was better to pounce than to get a shooting review."

"Which I don't disagree with."

"Neither do I.  We still need him to complete it and we have eight weeks mandatory."

"Not for officers who transferred in, sir."

"They all come in with at least that much time in.  We do that so we can make sure they have the same training we do, Caine."

Horatio closed the office door and came back to look at him.  "I'm very sure I can trust Xander in the field, sir.  He was in that situation in LA."  That got a shudder.  "That was the sort of thing he handled in his original life.  In truth, he's so quick to react because he grew up in a very tough town.  That's why he can do his own stitches and didn't ask for even local with his last ones."  That got another shudder.  "I can trust Xander to be at my back no matter what.  Now, would you prefer he keep his badge and lab spot or just his lab spot?  If we pay him as a lab tech, he gets an automatic raise and can still work backup on field cases as long as it's not a significant amount of time spent in the field."

"Why do you like the kid?"

"He's a lot like I was when I was younger, only he has less temper."

He considered it.  "How much of a raise?"

"Ballistics techs start at fifty a year, sir."

He gave him a horrified look.  "For an undergrad?"

"With a speciality.  Plus he has experience."

"Military?"

He took his keyboard to find a file on the LA invasion, letting him see the video.  "Not exactly."

The man watched, hunching himself some like he was instinctively protecting his stomach.  "Where did they get the artillery?"

"His contacts."

"So he does know them?"

"A fair bit.  He's expanding his knowledge base there and archaic weapons."

"I see."  He looked at him.  "Is he safe on the streets?"

"His ride-along supervisor seemed to think so.  He would have finished those four days but the captain over that unit decided he didn't like the boy pulling doubles to clear up that backlog and got into Taylor's face about it.  That's how Xander ended up on a Vice bust one night in triple overtime."

"Oh."

"They netted sixty guns, a small drug ring, and the person who stole some of their weapons, sir.  I'm very sure that Xander will react in an appropriate, but deadly manner when necessary.  He's trained to hunt."

"Hunt?"  He pulled up the file on the Winchester family.  That got a small moan.  "I had a case that had someone like that once."

"Exactly.  They're watching over him."

"How did he come to their attention?"

"The thing that his friend screwed up."

"Which was?"

"Not my duty to tell you, sir.  It doesn't impact him in the lab but that is why now and then people like him an extra bit that makes them do stupid things like try to buy him."

"I see."  He considered it.  "I'd rather he be a lab tech if your budget can handle it."

"I was expecting he was until I got his records, sir."

"Fine.  I'll come by tomorrow to do that.  Did he update his registration?"

"He did that earlier from the lab with Calleigh looking over his shoulder."

"Good.  How is he in the lab?"

"Fast, accurate, helpful.  The techs all love him.  He flirts but doesn't expect or want to carry through with it.   Everyone but Rick Stetler likes him.  He even leant Speed a suit when he spilled tea on his.  He bends over backwards to be accepted and liked, sir."

"Is that why he reminds you of a younger you?"

"Partially.  His parents were about as bad as my father."

"Fine.  I'll be down tomorrow to do that paperwork transferring him from an officer to a lab tech."  Horatio nodded, handing over the badge.  "Have him have any uniforms there."

"He has his three NYPD ones that he got out of the academy in a bag in his closet."

"He can keep those.  I'll state that we're only suspending his badge due to his desire to stay out of the field.  That way if he has to transfer he's not in trouble.  Rick might even leave him alone."

"I'll make sure he hears the reason, sir."  He smiled.  "Thank you."  He walked out calling Xander.  "The Chief is coming in tomorrow to suspend your badge and transfer you to only being a lab tech.  That way if you have to switch you still have it, but you won't be required to do another three weeks on the street."  He smiled.  "That's fine.  I'll see you tomorrow.  Do not wear something that would make him have a headache."  He hung up and went to find Rick Stetler.  "Thank you for reminding him about those ride-along hours, Rick.  It means I get Xander as a full time tech instead of having him as an officer."

Rick sneered.  "Is he giving it up?"

"The Chief agreed he could suspend it since it was only gotten as a formality for his field work.  That way he's not forced to do those nice officer mandated hours."  He walked off more smug.  Rick was muttering behind him about his last plan failing.   Maybe he'd learn to quit making plots against the lab.  Horatio went back to his office to finish looking into that background check the Feds should have given him but hadn't.  He called Frank.  "I could use your skills for a few minutes, Frank.  My office."  He hung up and went back to looking.  Frank knocked then walked in, shutting the door again.  "This is what someone heard."  He slid over the recopied notes.  "This is what I've found so far.  The Chief is coming tomorrow to switch my lab tech back to a lab tech.  I'd like to present him with this information."

Frank looked it over.  "Let me in the system."  Horatio moved, letting him do what he did best, ferret out people's secrets.  "I'll be damned," he said an hour later.

Horatio smiled.  "That sounds promising."

"You mean like there's a W-2 of her getting a second paycheck?  A federal one?"

"Very interesting."  He came over to look.  "Is that a second, small one, from the prosecutor's office?"

"It is."  They shared an evil look.  "Looks like you've got a mole."

"It'll be nice to expose her to the light to see how blind she is."  That got a nod.  "Thank you, Frank."

"Not a problem.  What was Stetler on about earlier?"

"Mr. Winchester, my new ballistics tech, is a gun geek who has personal funds.  Calleigh's stalker decided he did not like that."

"Which meant Rick listened to the officer instead and tried his usual BS," Frank finished.  Horatio nodded.  "Is he okay?"

"He's fine but we did have to clarify his badge status."

"He is?  With those t-shirts?"

Horatio smiled.  "The one who hired him for the NYPD labs told him if he was going to be rated for field duty he had to go to the academy if he was going to spend any significant time in the field.   Truthfully, Mac would've rather had him as a straight tech and so would we.  The Chief is accepting the surrender of his badge for suspension based on the fact he doesn't really need it, but he'll keep it in his file in case he has to leave here due to either death threat."

"He has two?"

"On e was why he changed lives in the first place and took his training, Frank.  The other got him out of New York.  The first one was from the same people that netted them all those thousands of guns and artillery pieces that they borrowed Calleigh to help log in."  Frank shuddered.  "They study the paranormal and hunt vampires, Frank."

Frank snickered.  "Wonderful!  He's got psychos on his tail."

"Who want to dissect and then kill him.  They've found him a few times over the years.  That's why he's on his fourth made up identity."  That got a nod.  "And why his uncle's children needed another one since they do a lot of traveling for work."

"Interesting.  So he's good?"

"He's very good.  Rick is snarling in his office.  The Chief agreed he didn't have to make up those few days he missed of his ride-along due to a tech injury in his lab up there that he was filling in for.  It's been a good day if we can pin this on her."

"Is she still here?"

"No, she's gone home for the day."

"Then we'll pin it on her tomorrow with the Chief there to question her."

"I do have plans of that."  They shared another smirk.  "Thank you, Frank.  Have a good night with the wife?"

"I'll try but she's fussy."

"Ask Xander what to give her as a just because present.  All his former friends were girls."

"I might do that."  He went down to look in ballistics.  "Hey, Winchester, I need to get my wife a just because gift.  She's been in a bad mood all week.  Flowers you think?"

"One or two of her favorite flower and get her something sappy that makes her grin."  He looked back.  "A few pieces of her favorite candy or whatever.  Tell her you know she's had a crappy week so she deserves the pick-me-up, you just wanted to see her smile again.  Otherwise she'll ask you what you did wrong."

"Thanks, kid.  That's a great idea."  He left to do that.  A small box of her favorite toffee.  Two roses and he was home, smiling at his wife as he walked in.  He handed them to her.  "You've had a crappy week and I'd like to see you smile again," he said, kissing her on the cheek.  He got a sappy grin and a real kiss back, then she went to nibble on her candy while she fussed over him.  Yeah, that worked well.  He'd have to remember this.

***

Xander looked up from his bullet and report when the Chief came in.  "Give me a few more, gentlemen.  I don't want to lose my train of thought."  They nodded, sitting down at the work table.  He finished up and printed it, handing it to Horatio.  "Speed's case.  He's got another five in here."  He looked at the Chief.  "Do you have it?  Horatio never gave it back."

His badge was slid over.  "I do, but you won't be authorized to carry it, young man."

"That's fine.  My ride-along supervisor told me I was too paranoid and too apt to think everything was bad."

"With your past, I'm not surprised," Horatio agreed.  "This is paperwork to make sure that you're only a tech.  At least until you leave Miami."  Xander nodded.  "In truth, Mac said he would've rather had you as a tech too.  As an officer you could get called out for horrible situations."

"I would've been there anyway, Horatio.  You know what a white knight is like."  The Chief gasped, staring at him.  He grinned.  "Hi."

"You're that Harris guy," he hissed.  "My wife's a former potential slayer."  Xander nodded.  "This is where you're hiding?"

"Yeah, after the lab in New York.  I'm a gun geek.  It was this or struggling through medical school."  He shrugged then grinned.  "See, I'm good at what I do."

"No wonder you graduated second."

"Low test score that I had to keep making up due to things like the serial killer."

"Figures."  He handed it over.  "I only want you to handle things if it's an absolute emergency, like we have something coming up out of the ocean."

"Fair enough.  Though I would try to hide it."

"Please.  Your guardian?"

"John Winchester?"  He smirked.  "Your wife's former masters brought him back with a compulsion spell to take me out if I'm evil.   He's been a good dad to me and can feel even the first bad thought."

"Good.  I like that.  The wings we heard you had?"

"Unmanifested.  They get in the way and knock things over.  Plus I need someone to straighten out the feathers again.  It's been a while but they're...sensitive."

"I can understand that.  Sign, date."  Xander did that, handing them back.  "Thank you, Mr. Winchester."  He gave him a pointed look.

"Figured they weren't using it," he said dryly.  "Someone has to be a Winchester.  It's like John adopted me some days anyway."

"Good thinking."  He shook his hand.  "Go back to work."  Xander grinned and took off his overshirt to do that.  The t-shirt made him cackle.  "The t-shirt rules are up to Lieutenant Caine, young man."

Horatio looked at it, groaning at _"The game of catch has never been so fun!" - inventor of the hand grenade._   He sighed.  "Xander."

"It is a fun game with grenades, Horatio."

"Lab coat, Xander."

Xander grinned.  "Mac made me put on an overshirt now and then my coat but it helped relieve stress and tension around the lab.  Plus made him walk off to handle his headache instead of ignoring it."

"Don't wear them on a scene.  As long as you're in the lab I can't mind."  He shook his head, looking at his boss.  "Now you see why Mac would love him back if they can get all of that terrorist group."

"Yes I do."  He walked out with the papers, seeing the pouting people.  "He didn't resign, people.  He had to go to the academy in New York as a formality so he was giving up his badge until he leaves Miami; he's a simple lab tech again."  That made them happier and go back to work.  He watched Horatio find someone and say something in her ear, walking her back to him.  "Problems?"

"I believe we should talk in the office for a minute, sir.  Something you had told me about has happened and I believe our cold case DNA tech has some answers for it."

"I see."  He walked up with them, smiling at her.  "Dear, do you know something about the mole situation?"

"No," she said quickly.

"Yet, we're paying you, the prosecutor's office is paying you, and the federal government, the oversight board specifically, is paying you," Horatio said, putting the copies of the W-2 forms in front of her.  He smiled.  "You don't hide it very well when you come in wearing thirty-six-hundred dollar shoes, Miss Boa Vista."

"I never told them anything bad," she said firmly.  "They have another person that they're getting information from."

"Yes, Miss West, one of our ADA's."  Horatio put that folder down.  The Chief gave him a look.  "We wrapped up the investigation portion last night with Frank's help."

"Hmm."  He looked at her.  "What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?"

"It was part of the grant, sir."

"I see."  He considered it.  "Horatio?"

"She has caused some problems trying to get information.  Including getting Wolfe and Delko's personality clashes to be more prominent at times by hitting on them both and playing them off each other."

"I did not."

"You canceled a date with Eric to go out with Ryan," he said blandly.  He handed over something else.  "That is where the other is coming from, sir.  He had an unfortunate opening of his mouth around the wrong people.  I'll be talking with him later."

"Do so."  He looked at her.  "I believe we should talk about what's been said, young lady.  Head directly to my office and do not call to alert them or Miss West."  She nodded, trudging off to do that.  He looked at him.  "What do they know?"

"That I do not know but it is not good."

"No, it's not good for your team.  Any other cheery news I should hear?"  Horatio sighed.  "I was being factious," he said.  Horatio handed over a very slim folder.  "Your brother?"  He looked inside and went pale.  "No."

"I'm afraid so.  The same one who told me about her let that slip."

"I heard what happened to him, Horatio."  He handed it back.  "How are you handling that?"

"Look at the last page, sir."  He did and groaned.  "I'm not sure yet."

"Fine.  We'll figure it out."  He handed it back.  "I want kept informed on that one."  That got a nod and he left to talk with Boa Vista and then Miss West.  He didn't like her anyway.  This little minx was not going to be allowed to rip his lab apart either.

***

Ryan walked into ballistics.  "I heard you were doing official paperwork.  How long do we have you for?"

"It was to surrender my badge, Ryan."  He grinned.  "I had to take my academy stuff in New York as a formality because I'm field rated.  If I had kept it down here I'd have been stuck in patrol for at least three weeks."  That got a nod.  "I'm a bit paranoid on the streets thanks to my past and it's not good for me.  They agreed and it's fine.  Now I'm a full time lab tech instead of Officer Winchester."

"That's cool."  He grinned at Speed as he strolled in.  "Did you hear?"

"I heard from H earlier when he was calming Alexx down.  You were in interrogation."  He looked at Ryan, then nodded.  "Better," he decided about his clothes.

"Thank you.  I did try this morning."  He grinned at Xander.  "Saturday?"

"Sure.  You know, this means I get a raise automatically," Xander said with a smirk.  "Lab techs make more than officers."  Ryan grumbled but didn't look too displeased.  "So we'll go shirt shopping when you call to make sure I'm up."  Ryan nodded, heading off.  He looked around and handed Speed his last few reports.  "Yours."

"Thank you, but not why I'm in here."  He closed the door then looked at him.  "Somehow you know things."

"When I'm told."

"Not like that.  You know a lot of things.  You're the one who turned my gun cleaning issue in to Horatio even though we hadn't met yet.  You knew about Maxine's soft spot for tea when she never drinks any unless she's stressed.  You knew about Ryan's OCD without anyone telling you.  You knew about Boa Vista and told Horatio."

"She was wearing really expensive designer stuff and you can't do that on our salary."

"Uh-huh.  But you didn't deny the other things.  So whatever your friend did made you clairvoyant, which cops would hate.  Or you somehow saw ahead another way that isn't fully correct with world because I overheard you the other day saying things weren't like it was *there*."

"I should refer yo to Horatio for this talk, Speed."

"I don't want to be run-around, Harris."  Xander grimaced.  "Yeah, looked you up when you mentioned the second death threat.  It's not real well known but my father hunted for a bit."  He leaned against the table.  "How are the Winchester clan and how did John get brought back?"

"The same people decided they couldn't do it and made him their instrument of 'take him out if he's evil' but Willow warped it," he said quietly.  He nodded him back to the exemplar since there were cameras in other places.  He chanted the small spell to take out electronics back there for ten minutes and looked at him.  "Yes I'm still Xander Harris, White Knight of Sunnydale."

"You're not a seer."

"Well, technically a few of me are across the realms.  Which is what Willow did in a misguided attempt at a bonding exercise to bring us closer together," he said quietly.  "And me being me, I kept more than memories."

"Which is why they want to dissect you."  Xander nodded.  "Why are you a CSI?  You know we'd find out when you slipped."

"I like guns.  Three or four of the other mes liked being a CSI."

"That makes more sense.  Why here?  Why New York?"

"I liked working there," he said, giving him a kicked puppy look.  "I liked working with you guys.  I liked it when I worked up there in another one.  Actually, I had more down here than I did up there."  He looked at him.  "It's kinda painful because I have all these memories.  In the ones I worked down here, Max was like a mom now and then.  She fussed at me when I got sick.  We went clubbing together as buddies.  You liked my t-shirts."

"I still like your t-shirts."  He relaxed.  "So you already knew?"

"I didn't know if it was a current or a past issue.  Mac knew.  He had a neighbor or something that was one who complained to him right after it happened while drunk.  He blatantly asked me and he told Horatio.  The problem is the more I use them the more I have from them and the louder they get.  Which is why now and then I get lost in thought and why I forget to eat and sleep sometimes.  Which John does a great job helping me with."

"What about your boyfriends or girlfriends in those realms?"  Xander blushed.  "Really?" he asked dryly.

"In one you did die in that jewelry store," he said very quietly, staring at him.  "They gave you to me as a white lighter after I passed a course in demonic CSI skills."

Speed shuddered at that.  "I can't even imagine how nasty that class would be."

Xander nodded.  "Was now and then but I did a lot of cult stuff.  My teachers there heard what I was still doing at that time and sent me there.  I retired from that life the day I graduated UCLA's program in those.  Before then I was working with Angel.  After the fall of Sunnydale.  That's why I gave a head's up about the invasion."

"Which you were at, which was dangerous."

"They figured I'd jump in and I helped."

"A lot," Horatio agreed when he came in.  "Maxine Valera was going to walk in when she heard you."

"Shit."

"No, I told her.  She's fine and she grinned that you guys were such good friends.  She said if you want, she'll mother hen you."

"I don't want to make her because of that.  If it happens it does.  Like if I take up with any of the people I was with in any of them I do."

"Not just me?" Speed asked.

"No.  You, there was one with Don Flack.  One with a guy out of the Vegas lab.  One with a Fed out of NCIS."  Speed grinned at that.  "You guys kinda tried to understand me.  You and I had this casual kinda thing after so long together as partners.  Which was how they found out when I got a major case of the flu.  I know things aren't the same and I know I can't make it the same.  I remembered enjoying it.  I knew I could hide easily enough here or there.  I should've decided to go to medical school."

"No, it's not a bad decision," Speed told him, "but I'm not yours."

"I know that, Speed.  You like him," he said with a head nod at Horatio, getting a blush.  "I'm not hoping.  I felt comfortable.  This is like a sweater that used to be your favorite but your roommie stole it for a year and stretched it differently so it's still your comfy sweater, but it's not quite the same."

"Good."   He looked at him.  "We'll handle it, kid."

"You shouldn't even know.  If they're doing a general scrying or have little things set to pick up whenever I talk about it, they'll track me here and then I will go to medical school."

"No, don't.  You're safe here.  Mac may have been able to keep you safe but he had to do a lot of city cleaning to do that.  Here you'll be safer because they haven't moved into Miami at this point in time."  Xander nodded, looking down.  He tipped his face up.  "Are you going to be all right?"

"I hope so.  Maybe."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Quit stressing.  You've been stressed out since you got here."

"That's because I feel like I'm forgetting something."  That voice popped up to go over what he knew, making him groan and write down a note.  "Sometime, in my first year down here with you in the one I had Speed in, they're in the Keys moving this way."

"Which would be in a year or so," Horatio reminded him, looking at the note.  "We'll check into that and keep an eye out for them."  He stroked over his hair, making him duck away.  "You can be like one of the kids in the lab, Xander.  I know how hard it is to live like you're undercover all the time.  It helps that you went back to your old name but not fully."

"No.  But I don't really miss them as much anymore."

"That's to be expected.  You've made new friends who like you more," Speed told him.

"Well, yeah, but that's how I got caught in Chicago."

"I heard about that.  Alchemy?" Speed asked.  Xander grinned and nodded.  "Amusing and unique."

"Yes I am.  No one else around here has wings."

"You do?"  Xander took off his shirt to let them out with a sigh of pleasure.  "Wow, you do."  He touched one gently, backing up at the moan.  "Directly connected?"

"Kinda feels *really* good and I need preened but John won't let me hit on succuba anymore."  He put them back and put on his shirt but Speed stopped him to stare at the scars.  He looked down then at him.  "Some are from LA."

"Not all of them."

"Years on the hellmouth, Speed."  He put on his shirt.  "I'm sorry if I've been freaky.  Adam up there knew.  He used to surf those sites and found me once.  Don Flack and an IAB guy found out by accident because they were eavesdropping.  Danny knew some because he overheard it while IAB, Mac, and I were discussing something.  Which is how Adam realized he knew me."

"Chill.  You're cool with us, Xander."  Speed patted him on the arm.  "Anyone you didn't get along with?"

"Yelina got creeped out by me now and then but otherwise no.  She learned to just ignore me when I was being strange.  John Hagen and I got along okay.  Frank and I got along fine once he realized the bounciness was staying and I was good because of it. Ryan and I were buddies."  Maxine walked in with Calleigh.  "Horatio!"

"I thought she went home."  He scowled at Calleigh.  "You should not be hearing this."

"I wasn't paying it any attention until I heard John's name.  I got called back because the monitoring system was shut off."

"Oops.  I did that in case there were bugs."

"How?"

He snapped his fingers and created a small light, making her back away slowly.  He let it go.  "What Willow did to me, Calleigh.  The friend who got me the original death threat?  That stuff."

"How did you know John?"  Horatio had told her some about his past life, but not that he could do that strange stuff that drove people like her nuts trying to explain it.

"That's a long story that's best told over beers.  I spent the first week after it happened drunk."

"You traveled to another realm?" she guessed.

"Something like that."

"Oh.  Which is why you came here?"

"I remembered liking working here, boss."

"I guess that makes sense.  Horatio told me enough that I wouldn't worry up in New York."  She looked at Speed.  "How did you know?"

"I heard about his original life through some mutual friends of contacts."

"Huh.  Were you going to tell me?"

"Things aren't exactly the same, Calleigh.  For one I didn't go to UCLA.  I don't want to make them the same but some of the differences are more painful than others.  Things like there, Max used to mother hen me because Alexx considered me too odd and kinda strange.  And at one point I snapped back when she said something to me about not belonging in a lab."

"She can do that on her bad days," she agreed.

"I don't want to force things into the way they were there.  If they grow into it, they do.  The same as in one I was dating that one," he said with a point at Speed.  The girls both gaped.  He shrugged.  "I'm not foreseeing that happening but it's not going to hurt because we were mostly friends with benefits, and a bit more.  I nearly tried to get Las Vegas because of this but I'd have to explain way too much to Grissom and show it to him too."

"That would've been a long talk about the wings," Speed said, shaking his head quickly to shake off that thought.  "Any other carryover?"

"The glowy ball stuff, the memories, the wings.  The Watchers wanting me dead."  He shrugged.  "I went to Dean and Sam because I knew I could trust them if something happened and I was going to slip and go insane."  Maxine slowly raised her hand.  "What my friend did caused the only other person to do it to go insane.  Unfortunately I'm me.  Unless this is just a really vivid drug dream and Sam did commit me.  He was kinda mean when he needed to be in the one where I was mated to him."

"No, it's not.  You can't wear that sort of shirt in a drug dream."  She looked at him.  "I like you anyway and you could use a mom now and then.  You didn't eat lunch."

"I forget now and then," he agreed.  "John nags too."  She grinned.  "Can one of you please tell the other mes that I can date girls?  They nag a lot about that."

Speed shook his head.  "Not from what I heard, sorry."   Xander pouted at that, looking down.  Calleigh gave him a pointed look to share.  "One of his exes used to punish men who cheated and things by torture."  Xander nodded at that.  "One tried to kill him."

"The one who punished those guys was about the only one who didn't try to kill me," Xander admitted.  "But I'm working on that.  The succuba didn't.  I just made the hunting pack sore."

"How?" Calleigh asked.  "I've been sore but you're talking like there was more than one."

"There were only seven."  He shrugged.  "Anya wanted a lot all the time.  Too bad the stamina doesn't show up when I jog."  He shook that thought off.  "But I do take fix-ups."

"No offense, but you might turn my girlfriends eviler," Maxine said with a small grin.

"Maybe.  One of my teachers wanted me to date her niece so I could see what was wrong with her or to finish pushing her over the edge so she'd finally get help when she went fully evil."

"Maybe the others were right then," Speed said dryly.

"Maybe but the one that was a concubine keeps giving me some very bad mental images about how he loved his hormone condition."  They all gave him a clueless look.  "He had a pheromone condition that left them very high.  Basically, he was kidnaped, bought, sold, all that against his will many times.  He's the one with the hair and apparently is prompting my hair to grow out too."  He fingered some of it.  "I need another trim already."

Maxine giggled.  "I know someone like that.  They walk out of the house and even the guys who don't like her looks, and she's no international beauty queen, hit on her."

"That's gotta suck," Speed said.  "Is that what happened in New York?"

"No, they knew where I was from.  Said I was older than the average so I must be special.  That's why I went to make the succuba sore."

Calleigh shivered.  "You poor man."  She gave him a short hug.  "If you get too lost in thought I'll nudge you gently."  She smiled.  "Now, go home.  Eat dinner.  Let John nag."

"I will.  It's gun cleaning night."  He grinned.  "Night all.  Sorry to have freaked you out."

Maxine snorted.  "Speed coming in happy and grinning one morning freaked us out, Xander.  You're sweet until something happens."  He beamed and grabbed his stuff to go home.  "We're keeping him, right, Horatio?"

"Yes we are, Miss Valera."

"Good."  She smiled.  "I'm going to warn my girlfriends not to hit on him unless they really want to go wicked and evil."  She walked off.   She could see why the other self in that realm or whatever had liked the boy.

Calleigh smiled.  "How did you realize it, Speed?"

"Mutual contacts told me about what had happened, kind of, and about the first death threat.  I figured it out when he slipped the other day.  I'm heading home, guys."

"Don't be upset with him?" Calleigh asked.

"I'm not.  I like the little goofball.  He's like Horatio only sweeter."  He walked off happier.  If something happened, they now had two that would jump in and take over a situation by doing something totally stupid yet effective that would save Miami.

Horatio smiled at her.  "I do see a lot of my younger self in him."

She walked out laughing.  "We'd better not see him take on a sniper," she teased.

Horatio followed, making sure things were on, no one else had overheard, and everything was locked down for night shift.  Then he got to go home and have an excellent dinner while waiting to see if Speed would come over.  Though, those two would be cute together.  Pity Horatio didn't share.

***

Xander walked in and looked around.  "John?"  He came out of his room.  "Speed figured it out."

"So who knows?"

"Max, Calleigh, Horatio, him.  Max and Calleigh eavesdropped."

"That's fine.  If you think it's wise."

"Max might spank.  She did offer to help you mother hen me."  John gave him a dirty look so he grinned.  "Can I make dinner?"

"Go ahead.  I'm doing laundry."

"Did the boys already leave?"

"They went to Orlando to look over a situation there with some little possessed dog."  Xander grinned at that.  "Anything else good go on today?"

"Everyone got happy that I was staying when they heard I had done official paperwork."

"That's a good sign."

"Ryan and I are going shopping on Saturday."

"Fine.  No more suits."

"Yes, John."  He grinned.  "Speaking of, Speed said his dad used to hunt."

"Huh."  He thought back.  "How old is he?"

"Bit older than I am.  Speedle."

"Out of New York?"  Xander shrugged.  "I might've met his father once in the early days."  He settled in to send that email to Bobby.

"The Chief's wife was a slayer.  He figured it out when I said I was a knight."

John looked at him.  "Called?"

"No, a potential.  They die, John."

"Good point."  He sent that on too.  Just in case it became relevant.

"He told me to handle it if something huge that way happened but to keep it subtle.  What did you want for dinner?"

"Something edible that's not a salad.  I realize it's the city's official food but I don't need roughage."

Xander snorted.  "Me either."  He pulled out pork chops and got to work with tutoring from the hormoned him.  It went into the oven and he came out to change then back to the living room.  "Are we doing anything soon?"

"Not that I know of.  What did you want to do?"

"Movies?  It's a low risk activity.  There's the new movie with all the guns and car chases, plus the babe."  He held his forehead when they all complained about that thought.  He told them to shut up, he liked breasts.  "Sorry, they're arguing over me liking breasts.  A few are waxing poetic about the dick they've loved and lost.  The booknerd me was a slut."  John smothered a laugh at that.  "Please?"

"Sure.  We can do that."  Xander beamed and went to check on dinner, plus make some good veggies to go with it.  John watched.  "Missed lunch?"  Xander nodded.  "Anyone catch it?"

"Max."

"Good."  He got back to his emailing.  Bobby would appreciate that woman too.  And Calleigh since she liked guns and was sweet and polite.  Bobby liked them that way.  Bobby sent back an 'I don't need fixed up' email but he said they sounded nice.  Now if only the boy could date someone like that.  "Bobby said Anya's been working near him.  He got her in the butt with rock salt the other day."

"Poor girl.  She okay?"  John gave him another dirty look.  "She is my ex."

"I'm starting to agree with them, Xander.  Go gay.  Have Sammy."  He sent that to Bobby, getting a laugh back and a reminder that he had Dean in one too.  "Or Dean.  Bobby suggested you have Dean."

Xander walked off shaking his head. "I'll tell them you said that."

"I'll tell them," he promised, sending an email to Sam saying he agreed with him keeping Xander if he wanted him that way.  Sammy was girl enough for Xander and to be gay now and then, but he was a tough guy that understood the kid too.  He couldn't mind that too much.

***

Sam looked at his emails.  "Dad wants one of us to take Xander permanently.  He's decided I'm nice so I can be gay or you can quit liking tits and be gay."  He handed over his phone, getting a snort back but Dean was smirking evilly at it as he sent back a response.  He took his phone back once Dean was done.  "Where are we headed after this?"

"Check on Bobby and Ellen."

"Cool with me."  They headed for the highway.  The nice lady had made them dinner for depossessing her poor shelter dog.  It was a cute dog.  "Think Xander's asked for a pet yet?"

"I think he did and Dad gave him the same reason we were given - it's hard to travel with a pet and you'd end up forgetting or losing him during a move."  They shared a look then sped up as they pulled onto the on ramp.  "So maybe he'll decide to take a succuba as a pet or something," Dean decided.  "That would freak Dad out and be a good April Fool's joke."

Sam snickered, leaning against the car door.  "If he does, I want a picture of his face."  He sent that to Xander's personal email and relaxed again.  That would be a cool prank.

Dean gave his little brother a smirk.  "Gonna miss your butt boy?"

"He's a buddy, Dean.  It's stress relief.  I go for quality over breasts and a tight ass."

"Uh-huh.  Keep telling yourself that, little brother.  If you need it that much, you can pick up some little bottom boy somewhere."

"I don't need it like you do, Dean.  I'm fairly self reliant on that problem."  Dean laughed, shaking his head.  "One of these days you're going to end up picking up something fatal."

"That's why I play safely, Sammy.  Just like I'm hoping you do."

"Of course I do."  He smirked at his big brother.  "I still remember the many interesting things that happened when you were nineteen and you did catch something."  Dean glared at him.  "What?" he asked innocently.  "I do."

"Never mention that again, Sammy."

"Sure, Dean, if you call me Sam instead of Sammy since I'm not six."

"Shut up, Sammy."

"So I get to tell the next girl you hit on?"

"You do and Dad will mourn you horribly."

"Uh-huh.  Then you'd have to take Xander hunting."

"He might be fun to travel with."  Sam rolled his eyes but he was only picking on Dean.  Dean would kill him if he ever told some girl he had caught VD off someone.  Plus he'd pout for weeks.  He'd hate to see that.

The Many Mystical Mes 14.

Notes: some touchy subject matter in this part.  Someone is impregnated with a demon child she doesn't want so they handle it for her medically - non-graphically stated.  Sorry if this bothers you, it's about on pages 23- 25 if you wanted to skip that part.  It's mentioned later but there are no graphic details given at any point in time.

Xander walked in the next morning with his iPod playing, handing it to Speed.

"Ear wax, that's a present," he said dryly.

"Listen to the music, dumbass," he said with a grin.  "I think it'll make your case since you're heading out to the 'Glades from what I heard on the way over."

"Ewww."  He listened then burst out giggling, shaking his head as he handed it back.  "Probably, yeah.  Thanks, Xander, I needed that pick-me-up."  He saw the t-shirt of the day and walked out laughing.   _NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY.  Like we need your support_ was a shirt that he should probably steal.

Calleigh watched him go, then looked at her lab gremlin.  "When we said you could make others happy, I didn't mean you could make Speed cackle in glee so badly that others are now scared for their future sanity."  He replayed the song, letting her listen to it, making her giggle.  "That's cute."

"They're heading out to the 'Glades on a case."

"That makes it better."  She saw the t-shirt.  "He'll steal that off you."

"I have a few other sarcasm ones.  Besides, I might get him his own copy.  Then we can match and be twins."  He grinned.

She checked his forehead for a fever.  "You feel normal."

"I am normal."  He got free and headed up to get to work.  Eric saw his shirt and walked off moaning.  "Speed liked it," he called after him.

"Speed's one of their local chapter presidents," he called back with an air wave.

Ryan looked and walked off giggling.  Xander put the iPod on him, letting him listen to the music that made Speed giggle too.  He burst out laughing and bopped Xander on the arm.  "And them going on a case out in the Everglades," he walked off snickering.

"If it's contagious, you should go home," Eric called from his lab.

"Happiness is another full service I offer."  He went into his lab to get to work since he saw Calleigh getting off the elevator.  He wanted to stay on her good side.

Calleigh walked into where Eric was hiding.  "Not only is it the t-shirt but he had a song called Rippy the Gator playing and let Speed listen to it on his way out to the 'Glades, Eric."

"He's your tech," he reminded her smugly.

"Yes, he is."  She looked that way.  "It was nice that the officers all flinched away when they saw Speed cackling evilly."

"Wolfe too."

"I'm not sure if Ryan can be that evil or not.  We'll have to see."  Ryan burst out laughing, not walking in.  "Well, can you?"

"Nope.  I'm a good boy, Calleigh."

"Uh-huh," Eric said.  "No new case?"

"Waiting on ballistics reports."

"He had a few done yesterday.  When did you hand them in?"

"Two days ago.  I think they went to night shift because I was here late."

"Possibly."  She took him to look.  She knew where they put reports they couldn't deliver.  "What's the case name?"

"Perkins."

Xander pointed without looking up from his reading.  "They decided to hide them on you. Three bullets?"

"And a gun later."

Xander turned to look at his system of reports.  "I think I did the gun."  He handed them over.  "You'd have to see if they're in the system since it wasn't a match to anything."

"Can you compare those bullets to the test fire?" she asked.

"Sure."  He popped the gun box open once he found it, bringing it back.  The test fire's envelope was inside.   She found him the bullets and he frowned.  Then he looked it up in the system by case number.  "Well that explains that."  He pointed for Calleigh's benefit.  "Yes, Ryan, this one at least matches."

"Thank you.  Can you...."  He handed over the report.

"Gladly and kick their ass."  He got a grin back and Ryan walked off.  "Boss?"

"Oh, no, that's my fun, Xander.  That's where they sent the incompetent one that you replaced."

"Yes, I have much more style, sense, and skills than some idiot who probably counts on his toes.  Should we institute quality control?"

"Horatio does that."

"Okay then."   He took the others to match and put into the system, handing over the report once he was done.  "Did you see the new memos?"

"I hadn't.  Anything important?"

"Union dues are going up.  The Chief announced his annual vacation and who was subbing for him.  Stetler sent one saying he's drug testing all of us."  He handed that one over.  "Can I have an intern some year soon, boss?  I remember I liked teaching them."

"We'll see," she said with a smile.  She walked out with the report and the memos.  "Eric, memo from IAB.  We're up for random drug testing in the next week or so."

"Wonderful," he muttered, taking it to look at.  Ryan ducked in and she handed over the report.  "He miss one?"

"Night shift didn't do them."

"Oh, crap," he said, looking at her.  "He going to kick their butt?"

"He wanted to.  I told him that was Horatio's fun."  She smiled.  He laughed.

"Thank you, Calleigh.  I love your tech."

"Well, he is single," she offered.

"Not that way."  He went to find the guy and arrest him for questioning.

Eric laughed.  "He could use a few good ones to calm him down."

"He dates scary, evil women, Eric."

"Pity."

"Yeah, but his last girlfriend liked to punish cheating men."

"Ow."

"Yup."  She walked off calling Horatio.  "I just had to get my lab gremlin to do a report that night shift didn't, Horatio.  On Ryan's case," she said when he asked.  "Three bullets.  The bullets were put out of the way of being found.  Weren't in the system."  He growled.  "I told Xander that was your fun.  Oh, did you see the memos about drug testing?"  He hung up and she went to get the others.  He handed her one.  "What's this?"

"Apparently they decided we share an inbox, boss.  Or else I should wear a bra."

She read the write-up form and growled.  "How dare he!  I was so!"

"Not all structural things are for support; some are flimsy and meant to be ripped off," he said dryly, grinning at her.  "I will back you up if you want.  I flipped it over once I glanced at it to make sure it wasn't mine."

"Thank you, Xander, but he might need the ER after I'm done yelling at him."

"Hey, then I'll definitely back you up," he offered with a grin.  His phone chirped with a text message, making her smirk at him.  "I know, John felt it."  He answered back and waved a hand.  "Shall we?"

"No, I don't need backup for this one."  She stomped off, going to his office.  "For your information, Stetler, I was wearing one.  You were apparently staring *way* too hard and I consider that harassment."

"It was a report from another officer.  Not like I want you," he said, handing over that sheet.

She looked then snorted.  "Some bras are flesh colored so they don't show through the thinner shirts."  She handed it back and the write up.  "I can bring it in tomorrow if you want to check."

"I'll make note that you're challenging it."  He did that and handed it back with an evil smirk.

"You'll take it off my record or I'll start writing up your department for stalking and harassment," she said.

"There's no evidence of that."

Xander walked in something and handed over the pictures.  "Next time, don't stand outside my house, you cheezy bastard.   Really, how stupid do you think I am?"  He walked out again.  "Those are copies I found in my inbox, boss.  The packet and the letter are on their way to the Chief with one of us."

She smirked at his horrified look.  "Want him because you're a touch evil?" she sneered, walking off.  Horatio was coming in so she handed him the write-up form.

He looked at it then sighed.  "I'll remove it from your file, Calleigh.  Why was Eric muttering outside?"  She held up a photo and he grimaced.  "Xander is where?"

"Lab probably.  He was going through the inter-departmental mail.  He said that's a copy and one of us was taking that form to the Chief."

"Good."  He went to get them from Rick.  "Thank you."  He walked off looking at them.  "Xander, how did you get that gun?" he asked as he walked into ballistics.

"A stripper gave it to me, boss.  It's in for destruction.  I turned it in the next day.  Apparently her boyfriend left it and his other guns.  She threw him out and she thinks I'm cute since she found out I'm one of us.  She gave them to John with orders to have me deal with them since he was a bastard and cheating on her."

"Good.  The others?"  Xander handed over that report.  "A copy went as well?"

"Yes it did.  And the copy of the report I pulled up when I had to stop him from beating the crap out of her for it.  Patrol was very nice to come get him once I had him down and begging for mercy while John got her an ice pack."

"Good."  He smiled.  "Anything else I need to look at?"

"Her stalker left her something," he said with a point.  He looked at her.  "It might be him who sent that report since it's flimsy and not structural too."

She opened it once she had gloves on.  "Did you glove?"

"Of course," he snorted.  "I know you don't order stuff to come here."

"Thank you, Xander.  Keep track of anything he might be sending so I can get him on stalking."

He handed over the clipboard.  "Candy's in the fridge if no one ate it.  I did put an evidence sticker on it."  Horatio went to look.  She smirked meanly.  "Look at it this way, you can track who sent that one officially."

"I so am."  She went to make that call.  She saw the Chief walking in.  "Sir, I need to talk to you as well."

"Fine, Duquesne.  Let me talk to your tech first."  He walked in and looked at him.  "Thank you for sending that to me."

"Not like I took them."  He looked at him.  "Calleigh's stalker struck as well, sir."

"I'll handle that in a moment.  Was that yours?"

"No.  That was hers.  I was checking for a clip and I hadn't had one of those in my hands so I was looking it over."

"Good.  I'll talk with the man myself."

"Remind him if he fucks with me, I stop being nice and I go all the way to screaming evil that would make John shoot me, sir."  His phone beeped with a message to calm down. "See?"

"I do."  He smiled and left, taking the drug test notice with a sigh from Ryan Wolfe.  "Why?"

"No clue, don't care, and we're not stupid enough to be caught since he announced it."  He walked off.  "Calleigh's in the break room looking at the other thing her stalker sent, sir."

"Thank you, Officer Wolfe."  He went in there, being handed the bagged bra and envelope it came in, plus the write up and the box of candy.  He stared at the write up then at her.  "No basis?"  She shook her head.  "You're certain?"

"Flesh colored because the shirt was gauzy.  I consider them staring that way harassment."

"That's fine.  This new one?"  She handed over a note.  "The store said he sent it?"

"Yes."

"I'll handle that."

"That's the same one Xander pulled out his bushes that Rick didn't arrest even when Xander did the charge sheet, sir.  The one who accused him."

"I see."  He nodded.  "Then he's in for a world of hurt, young lady.  Are you all right?"

"Creeped out.  The note inside the envelope said I had broken a strap the other day so I needed to replace one anyway.  It's even in the right size.  Eric's going to my place to see if he can find his fingerprints."

"Even better.  Calm down, let me handle this."

"Thank you, sir."

"You're welcome.  Keep me informed if more come."

"Frankly, I'm filing a restraining order later, sir.  I don't want him near me or my things."

"Good plan.  Give me a copy as well."  She nodded at that.  "Calm down, have some tea, keep Winchester calm too because otherwise he might go beat him for you."  He walked off to handle this problem himself since Internal Affairs was only making it worse.  Plus to handle Internal Affairs.

Horatio rubbed her upper back.  "I'll drive you down for that."  She nodded, letting him do that.  They had pictures of the evidence.  It would be enough for a judge.

***

Xander looked up a few hours later when Calleigh came back.  "Personal call," he said, handing over a slip.  "All I told her was that you were at the court house and would be back in a few hours."  He handed her another slip for a piece of mail.  "Eric found it but he's in the field at the moment.  He wanted to make sure you got that since it's a second notice.  Also, reports," he said, handing them over.  "Rippy the Gator's cousin Bertha gator bit the guy this morning, Horatio.  Alexx is now out for the day because one of her kids started to puke orange at school.  She gave Speed that report but he's been called in for a sentencing hearing."  He handed that one to him with the note on top.  "Also, your last case's ballistic report is on the bottom.  I had another case of I had a gun and no bullets so I checked, there were bullets but no report, so I did the work.  Sorry if it's stepping on toes, but since the registered owner is a child....."

"I needed to know this," he agreed.  "Any other good news?"

"My drug test got pulled earlier.  So unless they catch me with a beer from dinner the other night, I'm clean.  I don't even take painkillers for shoulder strain and things."  That got a nod.  "If it comes up differently we'll know why."

"I'll check on that," he said.  "The other issue with the stalker?"

"The Chief fired him earlier in front of the press because the guy threw a fit outside his office for being put on suspension and being told about the restraining order.  A reporter was standing outside hoping to overhear something and caught him, so he gave her an interview.  The chief saw and came out to fire him on camera for his disgracing the uniform.  We got a certified letter from him, addressed to me for some reason, that says he has a lawyer."  He handed it over.  "Don't know why."

"I'll handle that as well.  I see other notes?"

"Two are Ryan's.  One's Speed's.  One's yours from your nephew.  I was going to end on a happier note of he's cutting school today because some girl tried to pounce him in the hall and he was creeped out.  The teacher who made her stop it agreed he could run and hide if he wanted, but he thinks she meant inside the school.  He's going to call once an hour to let you know where he is.  That's where he was at last check in twenty-two minutes ago."  He handed it over.  "Speed redirected your phone down here when he left."

"Thank you.  That is a happier note to end on."  He walked out to call his nephew then he could handle the rest.   He also paged Yelina to give her the note.   She took it, groaned, and walked off to cuss at her son.  He laughed, going to handle the other things with a happier mood.

Xander looked at Calleigh.  "If you need me to be a pretend boyfriend, go for it."

"No, I don't."  She bit her lip.  "I have John for that."

"If I remember right, the rumors state he's coming back this way in about six weeks now that he's better."

"Really?"  She moved to call him.  "John, it's Calleigh.  I just heard a rumor you were coming back to homicide."  She smiled.  Xander left.  "No, I wanted to talk to a guy who wasn't hyper-protective of me since an officer just got fired for stalking me."  He growled.  "You quit."  He didn't but it was nice.  "No, my ballistics tech offered to do him in for me before Horatio could.  I'm in the lab for now.  Sure, I could use lunch."  She hung up and got to work on the other reports on the table.  She smirked at Xander's back.  He had found a few more problems and quietly fixed them so no one would say anything.  That was sweet of him and gave Horatio more things to look at.  She took the names of the amended reports for him, handing them over when he came in a few minutes later.  "John Hagen is switching back soon."

"Good."  He looked at her.  "We are going to be a bit more protective of you, Calleigh."

"I'll shoot him if he tries anything, Horatio."

"Good.  So will Xander probably."  She nodded at that.  "As I will."  He patted her on the cheek with a soft smile.  "Relax.  Are any of the other reports mine?"

"Nope, not that I saw."  She smiled when John walked in.  "Hi, stranger."

"Calleigh."  He looked at the piles of reports.  "Too busy for lunch after all?"

"Nope, Xander did all those for me earlier.  He's so speedy I almost don't feel needed."  She took his arm and walked off.  "You should've seen us when I got borrowed in New York, John.  There were so many guns I can't even remember how many I did."

"I heard they found a small terrorist cell."

"Xander had someone who heard and gave him some intel," she said quietly.  "That's why he's down here under death threat."

"I'll keep an ear out for that."  He walked her out to get something to eat and to the picnic tables.  "How many guns were there?"

"Twelve thousand."  He moaned at that.  "Plus artillery from their apocalypse vaults."

"Ow.  Did you take a month to do it?"

"No, we got it done in about a week and a half.  We only slept in the break room but we did manage it."  He grinned at that.  "He went so hyper puppy he let me have the couch and slept in front of it so he could bite whoever came near me.  He's sweet but very strange."

"I saw the guy with the t-shirt.  I figured it had to be him since I knew everyone else."

"That would be Xander, yes.  He's very unique."

Xander came over to sit down next to her. "Did you want me to be twins?  I can try to do that, boss."

"Please don't.  I'd hate to have to beat you.  John, this is Xander."

"Hey."  Xander shook his hand.  "I'll protect her."

"Good because he's over there," he said with a point of his soda bottle.  "Horatio sent me out when he heard he was here."

"I've got her, you get him if something happens," John ordered.

"Always happy to pounce for the pretty one's orders," he quipped.  John's mouth fell open so he giggled.  "You look like a fish, Hagen."  He stood up and walked over that way.  He stopped at five hundred feet from where she was.  "Sir, did you need something here at the lab?  I can direct any civilian to wherever they need to be," he offered.  The officer growled.  Xander stared him down.  The guy pulled his gun.  Xander pounced and knocked him down, getting a small graze.  "Ah, you're a psycho like my last few girlfriends.  Don't worry, I'm sure your new prison husband will fuck that out of you."  He flipped him over, taking the cuffs from someone.  "Here, all yours."

"Winchester, are you all right?" Frank demanded.  He and others had come running at the sound of the gunshot.

Xander nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?  No sucking chest wound, Frank."  He grinned.  "But thank you for asking."  He walked off humming happily.  "Hey, Horatio," he yelled as he walked under his office.  "The idiot of the hour just tried to shoot me so he's in cuffs outside."  He went to the changing area to look at his arm, finding his first aid kit in his crowded locker so he could bandage the small scrape.  "There we go."  He put back on his lab coat and went back to work.  He loved his job.  The only better thing was if he got to play with naked women and guns all day.  The voices complained at that thought so he imagined it better for them.  That way they'd let him work in peace.

John quit covering Calleigh.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  It didn't come over here."  She got up.  "Boys, there's a restraining order on him."  She pulled out a copy to let them see.  The officer doing the arrest nodded at that and handed it back, going to book him on that charge as well.  They could say he was inside 500 feet by a few inches.  She sat down again, watching him be dragged off.  John handed her the bottle of iced tea, earning a smile.  "Thank you, John."

"I can be as over-protective as your new lab tech is," he said with a grin.  She swatted him but she was smiling.   Horatio came stomping out.  "Ooh, his thong's twisted."

"Xander must've told him."  He hauled the man up and said something very quietly, making the officers stare in horror but walk him off.  "Horatio, is Xander all right?"

"Why wouldn't he be?  I heard he shot into the ground."

"Xander pounced when he pulled his weapon," John said.  "Kid taunted him a bit too.  Called him a civilian.  Called him a psycho afterward, said his new husband would help him with that."  Horatio smirked, going inside to check on Xander.  Then he came back out a minute later.  "He okay?"

"I'm going to let Maxine check on him."

"Are you catching Speed's evil mood?" she asked.

"Apparently."  He sat down.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine.  John covered me."

"Thank you, John."

"Not a problem.  The kid pointed him out to me."  That got a nod and Maxine stomped their way next.  "What happened?  He said he didn't have a sucking chest wound."

"He doesn't.  He has a graze on his arm that he's already bandaged, Horatio.  He insists he's fine."

"He did the same thing during and after getting a hundred-seventeen stitches in New York.  Tried to come back to work the next day."

"I'm so telling John," she decided, texting that to him.  She sat down.  "Are you all right, Calleigh?"

"I'm fine.  John covered me."  Maxine bopped John on the arm with a smile.  "How bad of a graze?"

"Little one.   No stitches or he probably would've done those too."

Horatio coughed to hide his smile.  "Quite possibly.  Mac said he started to do some of his in the ER when the nurse kept arguing with him."

She rolled her eyes.  "Of course he did.  It's a very Xander thing to do," she told him, earning a smile.

"It is," Calleigh agreed.  "He's tougher than you, John."  She saw a black pickup pull in and park, then an older guy got out.  "Is that John?"

Maxine nodded, waving him over.  "John, this is Detective Hagen if you haven't met him or Horatio Caine."  She pointed at them.

John shook their hands.  "My boy's where?"

"In the middle of a test fire.  He bandaged it."

"Of course he did.  That's what we do," John agreed.  "ER's ask questions, Maxine."  He patted her on the head.  "Let me check on him.  He was thinking evilly earlier."

"He wanted to beat my stalker for me, John.  Don't be mad at him."

He looked at her.  "If he comes back, you let me or Xander know, Calleigh.  He won't be doing it again once a real man teaches him how to properly treat a woman.  I beat it into Dean; I can beat it into that one."  He walked off.

"Xander's dad?" John Hagen asked quietly.

"It's a bit complicated but John's like an uncle to him," Horatio told him.  "He watches over the boy."  That got a nod.

Maxine looked at her watch.  "He didn't eat either, did he?"  She texted that to John too, so he could nag about that.  She looked at Horatio.  "Now I know why Alexx adopted Speed."  She got up and headed back inside.

"It's scary but she's nearly as good as Alexx at mothering the boy so far," Calleigh said.

Horatio nodded.  "It is scary."  He stood up.  "Come back inside when you're ready, Calleigh."  He headed in to watch John fuss at the boy in the entryway.  "Take him to the changing area, Xander," he ordered as he walked past them.  "Someone might say something if you take off your shirt out here."  Xander huffed that way but John nodded politely in thanks as he followed the boy.  Horatio smiled at their receptionist.  "That is his uncle.  Expect him if Xander has been working too many hours and things."

"I can do that, Lieutenant."  She made herself a note, smiling when he had left her alone.  "The boy needs fussed over apparently."  She looked around before spreading that bit of gossip to her friends in patrol.  Calleigh's stalker was insane and that boy was a bit heroic.  And cute.

***

Dean walked into Bobby's a few days later.  "Hey."

"Hey.  The boy's fine."

"I heard Dad had to nag him about pouncing the guy with the gun."  Sam walked in and sat down.  "We're checking on you for dad."

"I'm fine.  Same old same old really.  Is he having fun?"

"He's nagging Xander a lot," Sam said with a grin. "He says it's fun.  Xander tweaked him by saying he was going to date a succuba.  Dad got permission from Horatio to show up at the lab with a shotgun.  Calleigh nearly had a heart attack."

"Who?"

Sam pulled out pictures to hand over.  "The short blonde one is his boss in ballistics.  She's a ballistics and field tech."

He smiled at the picture.  "She's cute."

"She's got a butch detective who wants her badly," Dean told him.  "Xander thinks of her like a big sister.  Got her to stomp off the other morning when he was busy and needed to concentrate by messing up her hair."

Bobby shook his head, putting the pictures down.  "Which one is Maxine?"

"The dark haired one in the print skirt."  Dean relaxed.  "She agreed she can mom him.  She does a pretty decent job.  Fussed over him when he got a small graze protecting Calleigh.  Called Dad too.  Nags him about eating and all that stuff."

Bobby smiled, shaking his head slightly.  "That's good.  Is it stranger than New York?"

"Nah, they're having more fun.  Xander said there's a hit on the lab and everything so they don't look at him too strangely.  He's been giving fashion advice to Wolfe.  He gets to have a sarcasm buddy in Speedle.  Gets to make Dad huff in irritation by admiring the bikinis up the street.  Two of his neighbors are bikini mud wrestlers so they have to tan all the time.  Dad forbid him to go help them the last time they wanted him to come put on their tanning oil."

"Sounds like John," he agreed dryly.

"Xander's t-shirts are usually accepted," Sam told him.  "Now and then he gets told to put on a coat or something.  It's a lot less tense unless something happens.  But his boss is like the prototype Xander, only calmer.  He doesn't bounce."

Bobby smirked.  "Did he like that comparison?"

"Calleigh made it first.  Horatio admitted he saw a lot of the younger him in Xander but he had less temper than Horatio did," Dean said with a smirk.  "And get this, they had a neighbor who had a boyfriend with weapons.  They broke up because he was cheating on her.  So she kindly walked all the weapons up to their house so Xander could get rid of them for her."

"Sounds like a vindictive woman," Bobby agreed.

"But Internal Affairs was stalking him," Sam added.  "They keep trying to get him in trouble.  They used Calleigh's stalker to search the house.  So we left a day early."

"He decided that Xander giving us money to buy new t-shirts was doing bad things," Dean said sarcastically.  "Xander about made him cry and he'll keep it up if the guy won't leave him alone.  His badge is suspended on purpose so he's a simple lab tech.  Or else they'd have put him in patrol for about a month."

"Sounds logical but painful for him."

"Nope, he said he didn't mind.  He still has it, it's just in the files instead of on him every day."

"I guess that's fine.  John didn't fuss?"

"It kept him from going back on the streets and possibly being seen," Dean told him.  "He hasn't gotten to work a field case yet because they're not short a tech.  He's had hot and cold running guns."

"I'm sure he likes that.  Any other reason you two dropped in?"

"Yeah, I think Sammy picked up a small possession again," Dean said.  Sam reached over to swat him.  "Try to get out of the devil's trap, Sammy," he said with a smirk.  Bobby got up with a sigh, going to get some holy water.  Sam tried to follow but the capturing figures stopped him.  "Knew it.  Must've been that waitress who hit on you.   Like Xander, being gay is good for you, Sammy.  Stick with your little butt bitch down there."

"He is not!  We're just friends, Dean."  Bobby came back and splashed him.  "Ha! didn't hurt.  I knew I'm not possessed."

Bobby stared at him.  "Then move out of it."  Sam tried again but he was stopped.  He splashed him again.  Xander appeared, looking confused.  "Should you be here?"

"It's my day off.  I'll go nag Ryan into better clothes soon."  He laid a hand on Sam's head and chanted, getting the spirit out of him.  "Holier than usual spirit, Bobby."  He waved at it.  "Hi."  She stared at him.  "Not my fault, I just got you out of Sam."  He shrugged and left.

Dean looked at the flimsy spirit.  "Sorry, we can't see you like he can.  Would you like to become solid maybe?"  It faded out.  "Okay.  Guess not.  Sammy?"  He walked out of the figure.  "Better!"  He grinned at Bobby, getting splashed as well.  "She didn't hit on me, Bobby."

"We'll see.  You two feel anything else strange going on?"

"Why was Xander wearing spandex shorts?" Sam asked Dean.

"He was probably going for a run thanks to Dad."

"Oh."  He nodded, sitting down again.  "Sorry, Bobby, but hey, not a demon."

Bobby looked at him.  "Drink some, Sam."  He handed over the holy water.  Sam groaned but did as ordered.  Nothing happened.  Dean took a sip too because he knew Bobby would make him.  "I guess you're fine but we don't have anything for dinner.  I was going to hit the burger place in town."

"I miss fleecing people at pool," Dean sighed.

"Our treat," Sam offered.

"Sure.  Let's do that."  They headed out with him, letting Bobby shake his head once he got to his own car.  The boys were going to go nuts.  Once at the burger place, Dean pulled out his stories of bikinis that were beyond a fantasy for him.  Some were trying to conceal breasts nearly as big as his head.

***

Xander walked Ryan into the suit shop, putting down his prepaid card.  "There's eighty thousand on that.  He needs at least one new suit.  We're criminalists so it has to be comfortable, look good on him, plus make him look respectable and a bit serious on the stand."  He gave Ryan a shove.  "Please."

The salesman looked Ryan over.  "We don't often get officers."  Ryan pulled out his ID, earning a faint smile.  "I did believe you.  Now, what fabric were you thinking about?"  He took the card with them.

"Comfortable," Xander told him.  "He likes brighter colors and pastels now and then too."

"Xander!" Ryan complained.

"Shut up, Ryan.  You need one for testifying that's not itchy and wool like your other one.  You'll die in this heat.  That's why I got all mine in Dallas a few years ago."  He looked at one suit, pulling it off the rack to look at it against himself.  "Think I'd look good in this cut?"

"I think your muscles would make it bulge a bit, sir, but perhaps.  You can try it on."  Xander went to do that once he found his size.  He looked Ryan over.  "You are well built.  We do have some of the nicest things this time of year."  He pulled a few off.  "I think these colors would look good on you."

"No one would ever listen to me in the green or the pink one," Ryan said, "but I like the other one."  He went to try it on.  Xander was examining the jacket on himself.  "Too tight?"

"I don't think the cut would suit me."  He went to hang it back up and hand it over.  The salesman handed him something.  "I have one in this color in silk.  I don't have a lighter blue though.  Say a medium blue?"  One was found and handed over.  Xander tried it on and he did look good.  "Cool."  He put it aside once he had two shirts for it.  Ryan was a bit harder.  Horatio said he needed a good suit for his upcoming testimony.  "Ryan, go for smart, not hip."

The salesman brought him another one when he heard that.  Ryan looked much hipper but still like a professor in it.  "That should stand you well when you have to testify.  Is this going to be a common problem?"

"Only when we catch someone bad," Ryan told him with a small shrug.  "I'm told about three days a month total."

"Then you need more than one."  Xander went to hunt, getting a few things taken out of his chosen pile.  The card went through flawlessly and the boys walked out talking about formal watches for on the stand.  "Such nice gay men in the department these days," he decided.  No one else wore pastels that he knew.

Xander looked in Armani.  "I wonder if H's suits are made here or by elves somewhere else."  Ryan walked him off laughing.  "Seriously!  Not even I'm that bad now and then."

"Yes you are."  They found the Ralph Lauren store and Xander walked him inside.  "I have plenty of suits, Xander."

"So?  You still need better shirts, Ryan."  He smiled at the saleswoman.  "A few years back I visited the store in Dallas and she was *so* helpful.  This is my coworker, Officer Wolfe, and he needs some stuff for work.  Shirts that are casual and comfy but not too casual.  That sort of thing."

"We do have a good line of what we consider after hour or casual Friday clothes," she said, leading them that way.  Ryan found a few shirts he liked and a new pair of pants too.  She let Xander buy them and they walked out together, making her smile.  "They're adorable."

Xander came back and got a few more for himself.  "Replacing stained stuff."  He bought them and walked off to find Ryan putting stuff in his car.  "Come on."

"I have plenty of clothes," he complained, locking his car again.  Xander's were in the backseat.

"You promised me fun, Wolfe."

"I did, didn't I."  He grinned, taking him to the fun place up the street.  Once they were played out and had eaten, Xander made him go buy a few more shirts and a better pair of shoes then let him take him home.  Ryan grinned at him.  "You know, they probably thought you were a very nice boyfriend."

"I am a very nice boyfriend to the ones who're mine.  The girls I used to have as friends trained me well to give presents."  Ryan laughed.  Xander grinned.  "Next time, go there again.  In about a month they'll have season ending sales."

"I can do that."  Xander got out and grabbed his bags, heading inside.  Ryan backed out and headed home to hang up the new clothes.  He had enough for about two weeks of work.  Now no one could pick on his shirts or track jackets.

Xander kicked the door shut, looking around.  "John?" he called as he headed for his room.

"Shopping yourself poor?" he asked from the couch.

Xander dropped things.  "No.  I didn't spend that much.  I have stuff."  He looked at him.  "Are you okay?  You look funny."

"How do they put up with you when you act so gay?" he sneered.

Xander stepped back to stare at him.  "No one at work sees it as a problem.  Since I got ordered to take Ryan shopping he didn't either.  Are you possessed?"

"You're pathetic."

"No, I'm not.  Never was.  Not since I was very young."  He hushed the voices when John made a move toward him, knocking him down and then out.  "Yup, I think you're possessed."  He found the masking tape and got to work on a devil's trap around him.  John slowly woke up and sneered again.  "Okay, let's see if that works."  He made sure the figure was secure but John got out of it.  "Huh."  John rushed and he got him down, holding him down.  "What is wrong with you?" he demanded.  John snarled and moved so Xander kicked him in the side.  "Don't make me hurt you.  John won't like it."

"We'll get you."

"I doubt it."

"You're going to die."

"If you say so."  He couldn't quit reach his cuffs.  He had to let him go to grab them.  John hopped up and Xander spun-kicked to get him in the side of the head, knocking him down and out again.  "I don't think we're going to play this game, whoever you are."  He handcuffed John and called Horatio.  "It's me.  Can you please tell Dispatch not to come to my house?  John's possessed or something and he's annoying the hell out of me.  Called me pathetic and things.  No, I'm good, Horatio.  Thank you."  He hung up and looked at the body, dragging him into the bathroom.  "If you make me do it, I will."  He blessed the water in the tub then dunked his head to wake him up.  "Hmm, not holy water reactive."  He texted that to Sam since he knew more about these things than he did.

"What's wrong?  Running to Sammy again?  Can't do it on your own?"

"I can but I don't feel like researching right now.  Sammy should know right off.  If not, Bobby probably will."  He got back an answer.  "Huh.  Okay, we'll do this the hard way."  He went to get the exorcism book and came back, flipping to the one he liked.  Sam liked another version.  John liked the simpler one.  Xander liked the older, heavier than hell, would get Satan out of a baby version.  Just in case it was too big to get out any other way.  The chanting was started when someone knocked on the door.  "Damn, saved by a neighbor."  He went to open it, smiling at the girls from up the street.  "What's up?"

"Are you all right, Xander?  We thought we saw someone fighting you."

"John and I are sparring."

"He's got me locked up in here," John shouted.  "Call the cops."

"I am a cop."

"Not anymore you're not."

Xander looked in the bathroom by stepping back. "Yes I am."  He grinned at them again, casting a small fascination so they'd forget.  "It's fine.  He's a bit drunk and wanted to get feisty.  That's why he's in the bathroom and I'm tormenting him by reading Latin to him."  He held up the book.

"Is that a book on exorcisms?" one asked.

"Yup.  What better way to make him not want to get this drunk again?"

She giggled.  "We'll let you handle it then, Xander.  If you need us, yell and we'll call someone."

"Nah, I already called my boss.  If I need help he'll come running in his hummer."

"Good."  They left, going back home after kissing him on the cheek.

He shut the door and walked over to where John was sitting on the bath mat.   "It's not nice to worry good girls like that."  He shut the door most of the way and went back to the exorcism, starting over so he didn't miss anything.  John struggled and fought but the spirit came out of him.  He waved at it.  "Not as cute as the one in Sam earlier," he told it.  "Quit picking on Winchesters."  It faded out.  He looked at John, watching him pant and gasp for air.  "John?"

"Kid.  Help."  Xander shifted him so he was more comfortable.  John tried to kick him in the side.  Xander hit him with the book, making him howl since it was a blessed relic.  "Did you have to do that?"

"It's the book, my axe, or a blessed knife," he quipped, staring at him.  He grabbed the knife and came back, stabbing him gently with it on the thigh.  John howled but the other two spirits floated out and Xander captured them.  "Ah, better."  He looked at John.  "Are you back?"

John glared at him.  "Did you have to do that?"

"You wanted my axe instead?"

"No.  Can I get free and some bandages?"

Xander pulled the dagger out and did his leg, then looked at him.  "Recite the Lord's Prayer."  John tried but his mouth got stuck.  "The holy water is beside you, John."  He dunked his head, screaming into it.  "I can see we're going to have a fun night."  He went to look at whoever had just stepped in through the door.  "Hi, guys.  What's wrong?"  He held up his ID.  "He's drunk."

"Your neighbor said you stabbed him, sir?"

"No, I was removing something from his thigh.  I've bandaged it.  He had a funky mole he wanted removed.  Drunks do some strange things.  Did they also tell you I was reading in Latin to annoy him?"

"No."

"Then the girls up the street didn't call you.  No, he pounced me when I came home and he was mightily drunk then.  Right now he's dunking his head in my cuffs and I'm still reading Latin to him to make him regret being this drunk.  I called Horatio to let him know already."

"You're which tech?" one asked.

"Winchester, Ballistics under Calleigh."

"I've heard good things about you.  Can we talk to him?"  Xander pointed.

"He's holding me hostage."  John looked at them.  "He stabbed me.  Look at my thigh."

Xander looked at him.  "Earlier he was complaining he was possessed."  He pointed at the dagger he had wiped clean.  "I used that to cut off the funky mole but I might've cut a bit deeply.  He doesn't need stitches or I would've done them already."

"Is he a mental patient?" the one in charge asked.

"No, he's just drunk.  And yes, I made him brush his teeth and gargle when he pounced me.  I can't stand drunks."  They gave him a long look.  "I had two drunk parents, guys."   That got a nod.  "You can call and ask Horatio.  I warned him John was drunk already.  In case I have to be late tomorrow taking care of him."

"We can call him."  Xander offered his phone, letting him step onto the porch to call.  "Lieutenant, your ballistics tech said he called you about his housemate being drunk and disorderly?"  He listened then nodded.  "His housemate is claiming he stabbed him when the boy said he took off a mole but cut a little bit deeply.  Said he was tormenting him by reading in Latin to him."  He saw the figure on the floor.  "He has a mystical symbol on his floor in masking tape?"  He listened to Xander's interest in archaic things.  "That's reasonable I guess.  Doesn't mess up the floor.  Do you want us to bring one in?  I can do that.  Thank you, Lieutenant."  He hung up and walked the phone back in.  "Your boss said he's confused."

"My boss is confused?"

"He said he's never heard of you after he agreed he knew you."  Xander handed him his ID.  "This is the PD ID card.  Are you an officer?"

"I had to take the academy when I was in my last posting because I'm rated as a field tech.  Since I don't plan on using it down here I let the Chief put it on suspension in the files so I can't be called out of the lab unless it's an emergency.  That way I don't get hit with mandatory overtime stuff."

"That's not a bad idea," he admitted.  He handed the ID back.  "What are you going to do with him?"

"I'm going to start an exorcism ritual," he said.  "Because if he calls me worthless or pathetic again I'm going to beat him.  He can wake up bruised and hung over."

"Sure, you do that," he decided.  "We'll keep an ear out."

"I called Horatio so you guys wouldn't have to show up because of him being a noisy drunk.  Thank my neighbors though."

"I can do that, sir."  They left.  Xander locked the door behind them and said something in Latin, making the guys outside smirk at each other at the new swearing the other guy was doing.  "Caine sounded distracted."

"With his job I would too."  They got in and headed back to make a report.  Drunks happened even in Miami and mean drunks happened all too often too.

Xander finished casting the muting spell so no one could hear or see what was going on then looked up.  He got something out of the sanctuary and came back, sitting down in the middle of the devil's trap so he could work.  He wanted that spirit out of John and out of Horatio.  He got pictures of everyone and laid them around him.  Then a picture of the city from the sky.   The spell wasn't hard.  Banishing spirits was really pretty easy.  He looked up at the last word, finding that angel staring at him.  "Wanted me to leave him that way?"

"No.  We were wondering what you were doing."

"Casting all these evil bastards out of my new city and my coworkers."

"It might lead to other officers being stuck."

"It could but I'm working on that next.  Got a class name for them so I can look them up? Sam said he had one earlier."

"No, I don't.  I have no idea what they are."  He stared at him.  "You're near the line with that bit of magic."

"You'd rather have them involved?"

"No."

"Then I do what I have to do to fight for the light, Angel.  John can beat my ass tomorrow when he's normal."

"That compulsion is oddly done at the moment thanks to the last three spirits."

"Who're watchers," he told him.  "They're out of their body but they can't report back.  See, if I was evil, I'd destroy their souls."

"You could do that accidentally."

"No I can't."  He grinned.  "I know that spell, which is why I'm not going near it.  One of the others had to use it once."  That got a single nod.  "Now, any good advice or are you just here to nag?"

"Mostly to nag."  He stared at him.  "You are still considered a danger by many."

"Yes, but most of them are evil or do bad things for the right reasons.  Are you?"

He smirked.  "That's a good answer."  He faded out.

Xander looked up.  "Be less cryptic.  I'm not Angel."  He went back to his spell, casting them out of his city.  Then the watchers.  Though they wouldn't remember anything.  He released the trapped ones and did the same thing.  Then he laid there on the floor panting at the energy loss.  He looked in there.  "Don't shoot me for saving you?"

"I'd keep me in the cuffs for a while."

"I can do that.  Need a bandage change when I can finally get up?"

"Could."  He shifted, testing himself with the holy water.  "What were they?"

"Living spirits of mean bastards.  One of the ones in you was my uncle."  He made himself get up with a groan, going for some juice.  He was dripping with sweat.  He turned and found the angel standing there.  "I needed more cryptic advice?"

"I'm not here for my boss.  I'm here for your friend's boss.  You are being given a guarding job."

"Why?"

"Someone non-mystical impregnated a young woman against her will."

Xander sipped his juice.  "Like Initiative?  Or like mad scientist?"

"Mad scientist.  We think he's down here and the child is an unholy nasty according to your ex.   She can't tell you directly.  Some of the demons might've been related to that problem."

"And I need to do what to help Dawn?  Find it?  Fight the child?"

"Yes."  He disappeared.

"Okay.  Thank you for the less than cryptic advice this time."  John laughed.  Xander took some juice in to him with a straw, putting down the toilet cover so it was at head height or about.  "Dawn's got to be freaking out."  He went to look things up, finding what he needed.  "Dawn?" he called.  She appeared, sniffling and sobbing.  He hugged her.  "Shh, we'll find him."

"I don't want this unholy thing in me, Xander."

"I know."  He laid a hand on her stomach, nodding.  "It's not alive."  She looked up at him.  "Alive things put out energy, Dawn.   It's not."  He looked at John, who nodded.  "You sure?"

"Uncuff me a little bit?"  Xander came in to do that.  John had to fight not to grab him.  "No more magic."

"Shut up, John."  He undid the shielding and closed the bathroom door on his way out.  He grabbed stuff and took her to the car, taking her to the closest ER.  Once there he parked and walked her inside.  "This is like my little sister.  She was unfortunately knocked up by someone who she never saw.  I think the little creature in there is having an issue because there's no heartbeat I can find," he told the nurse quietly.

"We can check that for her.  We can't remove it."

"If it's dead?" he asked.

"If it is then we can.  Let us check her in."  Dawn let her check her in and give her an ID bracelet then Xander took her to the waiting room.  She went to tell the head nurse.  "We have a former rape victim who is pregnant and doesn't really want the child but she thinks it's dead.  They couldn't find a heartbeat."

"I'll get the OB on call down.  Poor thing."  She made that call.  When they got a room she got Dawn back there.  "How far along are you?"

She shrugged.  "I don't know. A few months I think?"  The nurse stared at her.  "He used a needle thingy instead of doing it himself and the natural way.  I'm not sure if it was advanced or not."

"We can do an ultrasound," she decided.  "Let me check your vitals."  She did that, writing them down.  "We have an OB on call.  He'll be in soon."  Xander nodded at that, holding her hand. "Boyfriend?"

"Might-as-well-be big brother," Dawn said.  "He's keeping me from doing stupid things.  Like fall down stairs and stuff."

"I can see how that goes."  She left to tell the OB that, getting a nod of understanding.  They had the machines down there so he pulled one in.

"I'm Doctor Grant.  I'm an OB resident.  I'm going to be searching for the fetus."

Dawn took off her shirt and laid down, letting Xander push down her waistband.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Do you know what he used?"

"No.  I kinda woke up pregnant."

"I've seen it happen to others."  He turned on the machine and plopped some gel onto her stomach.  The wand was pulled over and he found the buttons he wanted while he looked.  "I can see it," he told her.  He stared, enlarging the image.  "Is that...  It looks like a horn."

"So a clear birth defect?" Xander asked.  The doctor nodded.  "Is it alive?  We couldn't hear a heart beat."

He flipped a switch and they found it.  "It appears so."

"How far?" Xander asked.

"About five months it looks like."

Xander looked at her, getting a begging look.  "If I could call someone who did things tonight, who should it be?"

The doctor looked at him.  "I can't refer that sort of service."

"How about an OB she can call overnight then?  She'll need someone to keep track of that birth defect."

He considered it then wrote down a name.  "He's one of the doctors that practiced out of the country so he can't get his full license here without going through a lot of hoops.  He does a lot of work with immigrants and he has helped a few rape victims in the past."  He handed it to her.  She nodded, smiling slightly.  "I hope you're better soon, Miss."  He wrote notes on the birth defect and things, then left them alone.

Xander looked at her.  "Up to you."

"Please?" she whispered.

Xander nodded, going to get the paperwork from the nurse.  They got her checked out and he called on the way home.  "Hi.  My little sister was impregnated by needle by someone she didn't consent to.  We just found out the child has a severe birth defect.  It has a horn," he said quietly, pulling over.  "That is, yes.  That's fine, I can afford that.  I have that much on me."  He nodded again at her, getting a squeeze back.  "We can meet you there within an hour.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "You're sure?  No going back?"

"I'm sure," she said.  "If it was wanted, I might not care, but no.  I didn't want this.  He did it to me magically, Xander."

He made sure his phone was off then nodded.  "I've seen other freaky things in the past."  He drove her to the clinic the doctor had noted, walking her in the back door as ordered.  He nodded at the cop in there.  "Stitches?"

"My partner got shot up the street, nothing too bad."  Xander pulled out his ID.  "Been there?"

"I've done many stitches in my time.  My town was a bit rough."  That got a nod.  "We can wait."  The doctor peeked out, getting a nod from Dawn.  He sat her down and stood guard over her, smiling when the officer came limping out.  "You'll need to wrap that top bandage tighter or it'll slip, guys."  Another piece of tape was applied and he smiled once the doctor came out cleaned up.  "You can do another ultrasound if you want."

"I would like to see this birth defect."  He led them back to the room with the machine in it, letting them arrange her for him.  He looked, frowning at it.  "It looks like the pictures of demons in my brother's books."

"Then I definitely don't want to carry the mad scientist's demon child," she told him.

He looked at her.  "Are you absolutely certain, young lady?"

"Yes, sir.  I didn't want to be stuck with a needle and I have no idea who did it to me."

He stared at her then nodded.  "I can see that happening."  He got what he needed, coming back to knock her out.  "That will be a mercy later."

"That's fine.  I've carried her to bed in the past."  His phone rang.  "What's up?  No I can't, Horatio.  Because I'm at a clinic with Dawn, who is having issues with someone who stuck her with a needle that had a baby in it."  Horatio hissed.  "Why are you at my house?"  He nodded.  "That's fine I guess.  Is John back to normal?"  He smiled at the curious looking doctor.  "My housemate and uncle was a bit of a mean drunk earlier so I handcuffed him in the bathroom.   My boss is there to unlock him at the moment."  He listened to Horatio, nodding at what he was saying.  "I can do that when I get home, Horatio.  Because she needs me here.  I'm not going to abandon the little sister for anything.  Especially not during this.  About an hour."  He hung up when she mewled in pain, coming over to quiet her down and hold her.  The doctor go finished and he looked up.  "Usual post surgical worries and can she have a warm bath?"

"She can.  You've had surgery?"

"A few times.  Thank you."  He pulled out his wallet and handed over a stack of bills.  "Two thousand you said?"  The doctor nodded, counting it.  Xander picked up Dawn and carried her out to the car.  Then he drove them home.  Horatio wasn't looking happy when he got there.  He got out and walked around to pull Dawn out, carrying her inside and to his bedroom to put her down.  Then he came out and hit Horatio with a spell to freeze him.  "Did we not depossess you well enough?" he asked dryly.  Horatio groaned, trying to move.  He stood in front of him.  "Are you still in there, demon?  If so, I'd leave before I get mean and vicious.  John's not going to get me for this one."  John tapped him on the shoulder so he ducked, turned, and knocked him out.  "Yay you."  He looked at Horatio again, staring at him.  "Fine, we'll do this the hard way even though I'll have a migraine tomorrow."  He cast the spirit out of him and John, making them both scream in pain.  Then he collapsed on the floor.  The spell holding Horatio ended because he was passed out.

Horatio looked at himself then down.  "What am I doing here and are you both all right?"  He squatted down to check them.  Still alive.  John looked bruised.  Xander was simply out.

"You were possessed," Dawn called from the bedroom.  Horatio looked at her.  "Whoever knocked me up with a demon child decided I needed guards so he had you guys possessed to protect the child."

Horatio stared.  "Are you all right?"

"No but I'll be better soon.  Xander knocked himself out doing magic.  He was kinda wasted from earlier I think.  He was shaky from too much magic when I showed up.  John came up behind him so he did what he had to do."  She felt the spells snap and smiled. "Good."  She got up carefully, coming out to look at him.  "We'll be fine.  They're all gone again unless that doctor was influenced enough to put the baby in someone else."  Horatio gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder.  "It's cool.  Get Xander some juice.  Get John an ice pack."  He nodded and she went back to bed.  At least until someone new popped in. "Huh, he wasn't sure you guys were real in this life."

"Who are you and what happened?" he asked calmly.  He was impeccably dressed, had silvery blond hair that was presently curling around his ears, and stood ramrod straight.  "Why did you call me?"

"I didn't think I did.  Hi, Dawn Summers."

The boy stared at her.  "Interesting.  I don't know who you are but you're a witch?"

"Of the nature path class."  She sat up with a wince.  "Are you a bad guy Draco or are you less than evil today?"

"I'm not evil."

"That's fine.  My sister's a slayer."  Draco stepped back at that.  "As for who called?  No clue.  We just got rid of the demon that someone implanted in me while I was unconscious.  Xander just knocked himself out banishing the spirits magically that the demon called to protect itself.  Are you in the right world?"

He swallowed, pulling his wand to test things.  "No, I don't believe I am."  He frowned at her.  "How did I get here?  I was apparating home."

"Unless it was my funky magical oops thanks to the anesthesia I got given before my surgery an hour ago, no clue.  Or maybe Xander did it when he collapsed by accident."  She moaned when she shifted.  "Would you please help me up?"  He did that and got out of her way as she trudged to the bathroom.  "Sit down and we'll figure it out.  That way we can help you get home."

"I'm a powerful wizard, girl.  I can do that on my own."

Dawn gave him a look.  "I'm the Key, mister.  Shut up and sit down."  He sat down, staring at her.  She closed the bathroom door so she could use it in peace.

Draco looked out there.  "This is definitely interesting."  He came out to look at him.  "If he's got magical backlash, he'll need juice, something with some sugar, and something with some potassium and iron."

"We have a juice that has all that," Horatio told him, calling someone to pick some up.  Xander moaned and shifted, then whimpered.  "Shh, Xander.  It's solved.  I'll protect you and Dawn."

"If she's what she says she is, she can."

"I don't know.  That was before I met Xander and he had to change lives."  That got a nod.  Ryan showed up with the juice.  "Thank you, Mr. Wolfe."

"What happened?  Should we get an ambulance?"

"No.  He had to stretch himself doing something and knocked himself senseless.  He'll be fine but probably won't be in until late tomorrow."

"I'll make sure Calleigh knows."  He saw the young woman, nodding slightly.

"I'm like his little sister from his original life.  Quit giving me looks like he picked me up on a playground."  Ryan grinned at that and left them alone.  "It's good you guys are protective of him but don't treat him like he's too normal like my sister did."  She got him some juice.  "He'll suck in his sleep if you can find a straw."  Horatio went to get the one from the glass in the bathroom.  "That'll work."  She pushed Draco down, staring at him.  "How far off your realm are you?"

"You can't tell?"

"They put it in me.  They didn't give me an instruction manual, Draco."  He sighed in displeasure.  "So we'll do this the hard way.  Since I'm bleeding already."  She concentrated, laying a hand on his head.  They both disappeared.  "Oops.  Sorry, didn't meant to tag along."  She looked around.  "This is cool."  She grinned at him.  "Is this home?"

He tested it with his wand and nodded.  "It is.  What's wrong with you?  You're glowing."

"I just had to have the demon that was implanted in me against my will removed, Draco.  I'm a few minutes post surgery and now heavy magic."

He stared.  "Knives, get us some tea," he yelled.  His house elf went running for some.  "Come talk to my mother.  She studied you, you know."

"I didn't but maybe she has some answers.  Thank you.  Um, I should probably clean up first."

Narcissa came out of the drawing room, staring at her.  "The Key."

"Mrs. Malfoy.  Somehow Draco got relocated to my normal realm.  I accidentally came back with him.  Is there a place I can clean up a bit?  I'm a few hours post surgery."

"This way, child."   She walked her up to her private bathroom, sensing what the problem was.  "The child?"

"Someone put a demon in me without my granting it's desire.  It was just fixed."

She grimaced.  "There's necessary things under the sink, young lady."

"Thank you."  She shut the door carefully and went to clean up.  When she came down she was feeling a bit more in control.  "I'm sorry I did the magical hitchhiking thing."

"No, it's fine, child.  I've always wanted to meet whoever took the key into themselves."

"The monks did it to hide it from Glory.  Fortunately she died."  She sat down.  "Thank you for your gracious help.  It's been a bad few days."

"I can understand that."  She smiled.  "Here, have some tea.  It'll calm you down.  I added a potion to help with the pain you're in."  Dawn gave her a gentle smile and sipped.  "Draco, where were you?"

"Miami," Dawn said at his shrug.  "My kinda big brother had just passed out banishing some spirits.  We weren't sure one of us accidentally brought him.  We are sorry.  I know Xander would be."

"Think nothing of it.  Travel is often broadening."

Dawn grinned.  "Only if you don't do it like Xander.  One of my sister's friends did the viewing across the realms thing," she said at Draco's odd look in her direction.  His mouth fell open.  Narcissa's too.  "He's a medium.  He's not insane but he said they're very loud.  He had one where he was a cursebreaker too."

"That's interesting."  He sipped his tea, getting comfortable.  Dawn did the same.  "That's unheard of as well.  The only ones who try that go insane for their hubris."

"He didn't do it, she did it and brought them in."

"Hmm.  That might have saved him.  That and his medium skills would have sucked in the spirits so he absorbed them instead of viewing."  He considered it.  "That is an interesting tidbit."

"Which is why they're presently nagging him to be gay probably," she agreed.  He smirked so she smirked back.  "Not that we disagree.  His last serious girlfriend was Anyanka when she lost her powers."

Anya faded in, looking at her.   "What are you doing here?"

"I accidentally caught a ride when I helped Draco back home.  Xander handled the demon."

"Of course he did.  That's what he does."  She looked her over.  "Oh, he *handled* it.  Interesting."

"The doctor handled it that way.  He was helping," Dawn said.  "And it got a lot of spirits out of where he is.  The child or something was trying to protect it by possessing everyone around him."

"Huh.  I'll have to tell D'Hoffryn that.  I'll tell your sister you're all right."  She disappeared.  "Buffy, Dawn's having tea with a hotty British guy who's not a watcher," she called before disappearing again.  D'Hoffryn would definitely want to know this information.

Dawn shook her head.  "Sorry.  That's Anya.  She dated Xander for a while.  They nearly got married."

Narcissa blinked a few times.  "He must be a very strong young man."  Dawn nodded with a grin, finishing her tea.  She poured her more.  "Can I ask you questions?"

"Sure but I'm not sure what help I can be.  To us you guys were a book.  Plus the monks made me to surround the key then aged me up to fourteen."

"That is very interesting.  Can I cast a diagnostic charm?  I promise not to hurt you, dear."

"Go for it."  She moved the tea cup to the table and let her cast it on her.

"That is unusual.  I can see the key and I can see other things.  Bonds that tie you to places."

"They made me the sister of a slayer to protect me from Glory."

"There's that as well."  She did it again and smiled.  "Come, you should rest.  It says you're very tired.  Finish your tea."  Dawn did that and headed up after her.  She made sure the girl had the necessities she'd need to handle her current health issues then went to look at her son.  "Did you see what I did, my son?"

"I saw her order and me do it without thinking.  She reminds me of a nicer version of you, Mother."

"She is very strong willed."  She smiled.  "If she could stay I would arrange things so she'd take my place as matriarch some day."

"Mother, I don't want to be married," he complained mildly.

"There must be heirs some day, my son."  He grimaced.  "You could try.  She's very sweet."

"She doesn't use a wand."

"She could if we taught her.  She's incredibly powerful.  There's even hints of necromancy in her aura."  Draco looked interested at that tidbit.  "Try her, my son.  She might enjoy it.  Plus it would keep her very safe."

"If I must, Mother."  He finished his tea and went to get a brandy.  His mother's word was law.  He had to follow it.  Somehow.  He supposed he could chat the girl up somewhat when she was feeling better.  Right now she had to be feeling emotional and needy so he didn't want to get to chummy with her until she was back to normal again.  She might cry on him or some such nasty thing that he'd have to memory wipe from himself.

***

John woke up first and automatically reached for his knife.  "I have them, John," Horatio said.  John looked at him.  "He had to use some larger skills to save us from the spirits that wanted the demon child his almost little sister was carrying.  We were both possessed."

"That's probably why I feel like I went two rounds with the boy."

"From police reports you did and you got a stab wound."  He pointed at his thigh.  Xander moaned.  "Sleep, Xander.  You need sleep to heal," he said more gently, rubbing his arm until he went back to sleep.  John looked at him.  "He passed out after freeing us.  Right before a mythical person showed up and took Dawn with him."

"Who?"

"Draco Malfoy if I'm not mistaken.  Or a very young Lucius."

"Probably Draco.  Was it the queen that he married in one realm?"

"No.  This one was giving Dawn awed looks."

"That's fine.  She can get herself home."  He sat up, looking at him.  "What else happened?"

"He passed out at my feet as I woke up.  I basically woke up and found you both unconscious."

"That's not that uncommon, Horatio."

"I had Mr. Wolfe get some juice at Draco's say so."  He handed him a glass.  "I think that compulsion might be acting?"

"It's trying to.  Something's blocking it."  A blonde girl appeared.  "Buffy."

"Is Dawn here?"

"No.  She was here."

Horatio coughed.  "He was letting her sleep on his bed before he apparently unpossessed us and then passed out."

"Shoot.  Anya said she was with some foreign hotty but didn't say where."

"I know she went with the Draco Malfoy that showed up here for some reason," Horatio offered.

She stared at him.  "He's a book."

"One of his lives he was a cursebreaker," John told her.

"Aw, crap."  She stomped a foot and poked Xander, getting a glare from Horatio.  Xander blinked at her.  "What happened?"

"Baby had horns.  Dawn said she wasn't going to have horns on her baby when she didn't want it in the first place.  All the demons I sent off were because it was being protected.  She's probably still sleepy."  He yawned and let himself drift off again.

"Sleepy?" she asked.

John nudged Xander.  "Were you at a doctor with her, Xander?"  He nodded, humming as he rested his head on John's thigh.  Buffy groaned.  "Unless the doctor wanted it...."

"It's not an apocalypse.  I don't like how, but I guess as long as it was her decision it's all right.  I don't want Dawn to have to raise a demon either."  She shuddered.   "I'd have to fight myself not to kill it.   How do you do it, John?"

"Most of the time he doesn't give me reason, Buffy."

"Oh.  He used to be evil to our minds and give us bad thoughts all the time."

"Those I warn him for and he stops."

"I needed that skill."  She looked up.  "Okay, I'm done."  She disappeared.

John shook his head, finishing his juice.  "That was Buffy, Dawn's sister."

"The one who goofed?"

"The other one."

"Hmm."  He looked at the boy stretched across the couch.  "Are you feeling better?"

"In more control.  Thank you, Horatio."

"Not a problem."  He stood up.  "If he comes in I'll expect him late tomorrow.  Or not at all."

"I can do that."  He shook his hand.  "Have a better night."

"I'll try."  He left, going home to think.  He wasn't used to being possessed and people suddenly appearing that way.  Especially not mythical characters.

John looked down, poking Xander on the head.  "I'm not a pillow."

"Hush or be a bunny."

John growled.  Xander whimpered.  "Bed."

"Yes, John."  He got up and wobbled so John had to help him to his bed.  "Night.  Sorry."

"Don't be.  You saved our butts."  He tucked him in, getting a sleepy grin.  "Rest.  You'll need it."  He went to get more juice, leaving a glass beside the boy's bed, then went to shower.  The holy water in the bathroom burned the cut on his thigh but he could stand that.  He even pulled up the devil's trap.  He turned and found someone there.  "Who're you?"

"The one who watches over him and your son, John.  He's not in trouble and I did block it from him for now."

"Block what?  The overuse headache?"

"And your compulsion."  He smirked, giving him a pointed look.  "He did what we could not."

"Can we remove the compulsion?"

"No.  It can be weakened but not by our side since they didn't call on us."  He looked him over.  "Even then the boy needs you."

"He's like my son.  I'm not going to abandon him.  I don't want to know when he has bad thoughts though."

"That more than anything is protecting him.  It has stopped him making some plans that would make some of us very unhappy.  Instead he only writes them down to amuse us."  He disappeared.

"I agree with the kid, cryptic shit like that doesn't do much for me," he called.  He finished pulling up the devil's trap and called Bobby.  "Are the boys all right?"  He listened.  "Yeah, seizure is a good excuse for that.  Tell them to call when they get up.  Thanks, Bobby."  He hung up and went to bed.  He was exhausted.  He hated being possessed.  He felt funny for days afterward.

The Many Mystical Mes 15.

Horatio looked up as Calleigh stomped up to his office the next morning.  "He was handling things last night and wore himself into passing out," he said quietly.

"Which is probably why he looks like hell and said he's not moving off his lab stool," she told him.  He groaned, shaking his head.  "No, my fit was with Stetler, who decided that his drug test had been *too* clean because it didn't even show tylenol.  At which point Xander gave him a confused look and said it doesn't work on him and why take it for minor things, they go away.  Then he pointed out he didn't have any when he had so many stitches after the thing in LA, as he called it, and Stetler huffed and demanded a hair sample."

"Technically he can question any drug tests."

"Chem is running it and he suspended my lab tech until it's done with."

"Is he taking a nap?"

"I had Max tuck him in.  He grinned a silly grin and said if he ever spawned she could straighten them out."  Horatio smiled at that.  "My problem is that my lab is seriously overloaded today for some reason.  Stetler saw this and smirked that 'perfect timing evil villain smirk' at me for it."

"Why is it backed up?"

"I don't know but even Xander was complaining, Horatio."  He came down to look with her.  "Was he off last night when someone got a major bust?"

"No, I was here when he came in to pick something up."  He looked at all the boxes.  "How many haven't been done?  It looks like a quality control pull with these dates."

"I think maybe none of them were done and this is a quality control pull.  He decided these samples could wait over others and never quite got to them."

"I see."  He considered the pile.  "How about today's?"

"Six bullets so far.  From one case.  Eric and Speed are out on one at the moment."  She looked at him.  "Xander's already started on some, Horatio, but we're going to be pulling some overtime."

"Let me call the nightshift supervisor to see why these were laid out."  She nodded, settling in to get to work on the sample Xander had been working on when he had been sent for a nap.  He came back from the call with a grimace.  "Marla heard that some irregularities have been going on.  We gave her copies of those reports when they were done.  She said that he should probably work on the samples he had conveniently pushed aside as unimportant.  Apparently he went home sick shortly afterward."

"Leaving my shift to do the work," she complained.

"Marla agreed it wasn't nice of him."

"Can I make Stetler go eat him instead of Xander?"

"You can try."  He went to find him in chemistry.  "Is it clean?" he asked the tech.

"Squeaky, Horatio.  No trace of anything."

"Good, because I need Rick for another reason."  He walked him off by force, even though he was growling.  "It appears the nightshift ballistics tech has decided to ignore samples and when ordered to stop it, went home with a sudden illness."

"That boy can't be that clean."

"Rick, he didn't even let them give him local for his last set of stitches," he said blandly.  "John is much the same way.  He got a small graze the other day from Calleigh's stalker and barely grunted at it.  He handled it before we knew it had happened and tried to hide it so we couldn't fuss."  Rick glared at that.  "Xander has been taught that he has to take care of it himself because the hospital where he was raised was pathetic and killed a lot of people."

"The state would shut it down."

"The state didn't take over the town and it had a fifty percent homicide rate for a few years running," Horatio countered.  "The high school had a forty percent mortality rate the year he started it.  Only twelve the year he graduated, excluding the gas explosion at his graduation ceremony.  There's a reason my ballistics tech knows how to do his own stitches.  Now, can we focus on the real problem or should I just fire him?"

"I'll look into him.  The one she sent packing for being an idiot?"

"And doing the same thing as I've recently learned."  He pointed at the stack of boxes.  "All cases he felt could wait.  It means justice will have to wait on our present cases and backlogs like this cause overtime that the Chief will scream about."

"I'll look into him.  What did happen to your wonder tech?"

"He's ill.  He came in anyway because he's that sort of man."  He walked off to help Calleigh if he could.  "Can I do anything?"

"Pull up the case files to make sure the ballistics report is redundant?"

"I can do that."  He settled in to pull those up while she matched.  Xander wobbled in an hour later and got back to work, only flipping on the radio a bit.

Speed walked in.  "Please tell me someone pulled QC?" he begged.

"Idiot on night shift was missing samples," Xander told him.

Speed stared at him.  "If you're that sick, go home."

"It's exhaustion, not sickness.  I had to do something last night that wore me out."

"Succuba?" he teased with a grin.

"I wish.  Horatio, where did Dawn go?  She wasn't there this morning."

"She was helping the young man that suddenly appeared get home and went with him."  Xander looked over at him, giving him a pointed look.  "By then you were unconscious," he said, still typing and not looking at Xander.  "A pale blond boy, very British, very floppy wristed too."

"Draco?"

"Yes."  He grinned at the boy.  "She was helping him get home and went with him for some reason.  Her sister was not amused."

"Neither am I.  Is she all right?"

"He seemed politely rational.  She asked him if he was an evil one.  By then she was able to stand and walk."  Xander nodded, relaxing again.  "I'm sure she'll be fine, Xander."

"She'd better be or I'll have to invade and kick their asses."  He got back to work.

"Do we know this British guy?" Speed asked.

"In another life," he replied blandly, giving him a look, getting a shudder back.  "Dawn's like that now and then.  I hope she's having fun."  He sent a text message to her phone.   She had said she had magiced it to reach her anywhere.  No matter what.  So if he needed help she or someone could come help.  He got one back that started with a smiley face and went on for another three texts.  "Huh."  He let Horatio see them, making him laugh.  "She's finally found a guy who can equal up to the crush she used to have on me."  He let Speed read it.  "She's like my little sister."

Speed read through them, shaking his head quickly.  "You're insane."  He handed it back.

"No I'm not.  The voices are just loud now and then."  They piped up and he imagined oral sex.  They quit.  "Better," he said with a sigh.  He grinned.  "If you had bullet's it'll be Monday."

"I can understand that.  Late Monday?"  Xander looked then nodded.  "If I don't hear by Wednesday I'll be back."  He walked off to tell Eric and Ryan that since they were in the same lab.  "They're so backed up in ballistics."

"Why?" Ryan asked.  "He had a clean lab when he left."

"The nightshift guy got told to pull out all the samples he had deprioritized."  Eric moaned, leaning on the table.  "So it'll be early next week on ours."

"That's fine.  Alexx is backed up too so it'll be tomorrow before we get the autopsy results," Eric said.  He looked over.  "Is that the same weenie that she kicked out of her lab?"

"Yup.  There's so many boxes in there it looks like a box handout day."  He sat down once he had on gloves and his lab coat.

"You are exhausted and you will eat lunch, young man," Maxine yelled from the hallway.  "I don't care if you don't like it, come eat.  I made enough to share."

Eric grinned, waving at her.  "She's a good mother hen.  A bit forceful but it works with him sometimes."

"He does look rough.  Flu?"

"He said he had to do something last night.  Apparently an old friend who was like a little sister showed up last night and ended up leaving with some British kid who reminded them of Draco Malfoy from the books."  Ryan giggled.  "Saw that?"

"Saw them.  Looked just like how I imagined him."  He got back to work.  "She was a bit sore and achy herself."

"Fuck," Xander snarled up the hall.

Speed leaned out.  "No language like that in the lab, young man."

Xander looked up.  "Wherever Dawn is, is a bit warped.  He thinks she's perfect for his wife and his mother agrees."

"So?"

"Her sister's going to invade and kill them all.  She didn't even want Dawn dating."

"Again, so?  She can't run her sister's life."

"She can't run her own all the time but she'll want my help getting there."

"No.  Say it often.  Apparently you need to learn how to tell that word to women."  He went back to work.  "Poor girl.  She was how old, Wolfe?"

"College aged."

"Way too young to get married unless she's knocked up," Eric said.

"How traditional of you," Speed said dryly.  "Do you make them not wear white too since that started out as a symbol of being wealthy enough to have a dress that you only wore once?"

"It is?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Huh."  He shrugged.  "I don't care what they wear.  My mother would beat them into agreeing."

"Times have changed," Ryan told him.  "Not everyone likes marriage and plenty of single women have kids from a dish these days."

"It takes at least three people to raise any kid, and at least one good spanking a year," Eric said patiently.  "Why overwork them?"

Speed snickered.  "Only your nieces and nephews, Delko.  Wolfe, you have any kids?"

"Not that I know of."

"Good.  Then we don't have to have the 'don't be a slut' talk we had with Eric when he started to date things that looked bad on the department."

"Not funny, Speed," Eric warned.

Speed looked at him.  "You're the one who dated the serial killer.

"I didn't know that and when I did I turned her in."

"And I thought Xander's were bad."

"They are," the two friends said in unison.  Eric smirked but stuck out his tongue at Speed.

"You're not my type, Eric.  Go hit on Xander.  He could use someone nice.  Your mother could fuss over him for years."

"Momma wants heirs.  I can't date a guy unless he can give her grandbabies.  Poppi said so."

Ryan shook his head.  "You two are insane."

"He did it to me.  I was perfectly sane before I started to work here," Speed told him.  "You're next."

"I'll let Xander warp me like you two warped each other."  They smirked.  "Apparently all the salespeople we saw on Saturday thought we were very cute when Xander was dragging me from store to store."

"I noticed the shirt.  Good job," Speed told him, getting a grin back. "Comfortable?"

"Fairly so once it was washed.  He made me get a few suits for court too."

"Even better.  Your last one was itchy and you kept wiggling on the stand," Eric told him.  "Are these more comfortable?"

"Mostly.  One's a bit tight but I can get that tailored to fit better."  He shrugged and got back to work on his microscope.  "That makes no sense."  Speed shifted over to look.  "It's a saline/quartz/white volcanic sand compound."

"You're right, that makes no sense," Speed agreed.  "Run it through the GCMS."  Ryan handed over the report.  "Then that really makes no sense."  Eric came over to look.  "Where did we find it?"

"Shoe tread."

"Hmm."

"Could be some sort of expensive sand mix for landscaping," Eric offered, looking at them.  "Slightly shiny from the quartz to draw attention and highlight it at night."

"It might be."  He looked again.  "Call one of those places, see if it is," he decided.  Ryan went to find a phone book.  They shared a look and Speed sealed the sample up for him.

***

Xander trudged in that night and laid down on the couch next to John's thigh.  "Don't expect me home at a reasonable hour anytime this month."

"What happened?  Another big bust?" he asked, going back to reading.

"The night shift guy that I replaced was picking and choosing which bullets to do first.  We came in to nearly a hundred boxes of guns plus a lot of bullets he didn't match.  And one I came up one that matched to an officer's gun."  John reached down to pet him.  Xander lifted his head slightly into the warm hand.  "Plus today's bullets and guns.  We're going to be backed up for weeks."

"Overtime?"

"Probably.  I'd have to kick his ass out of the lab if he showed up."

"You'll handle it."

Xander looked up.  "Are you still possessed?  You're awfully chilly today."

"No," he said, looking down.  "Though I do think it's time you learn to lean a bit more on yourself again."  Xander winced as he stood up.  "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Residual soreness from last night."  He got something and came back, handing it over.  "I'm surprised you haven't busted me for that yet."  He yawned as he laid back down.  John read it then glared down at him.  He could feel it even with his eyes closed.  "It gets it out of my head."

"Shouldn't be happening anyway."

"Hey, I got a good idea on how to take over a cell and make them beg for mercy."  John swatted him.  "Thank you.  You know, even if I don't need you all the time, you're still like my dad, John.  So whatever freaked you out, get over it."  He yawned again, letting himself drift off now that he was home.

"Did you drive?"  His answer was a snore.  He looked outside and there was the car.  "You know better than to drive while you're this tired."  He flipped through the book.  Yeah, he should've felt this and swatted the boy hard for any of these thoughts.  Though some were amusing and might make nice fantasy novels.  Calling a dragon to Miami and siccing it on the shallow, petty girls who thought they were too special was very amusing.  He looked down when he felt a bit of wetness.  "It's been a bad day if you're drooling."  He started to move but Xander clutched his leg so he relaxed.  The boy relaxed again too.  "I'm not leaving, idiot," he said quietly.  "I'm getting something to wipe your mouth since you look like a teething toddler."  Xander snuffled and shifted to lay on his thigh.  "I'm not a pillow, kid."

"Kitty."

"No, I'm not one of those either.  Though it's nice; I haven't been called that since Sammy was almost a year old."  He petted him again, making the boy have happier dreams and quit drooling.  Sometimes the boy was a pain but he was a cute kid when he was asleep.  He'd have to send him with lunch and dinner tomorrow in case he was late.  Maxine would make sure he ate something.  Now if only he'd eat dinner...  Nope, no chance the kid was getting up anytime soon.  Someone knocked.  "Who is it?" he called.

"Ryan."

John looked.  "Open."  He walked in and paused, grinning at Xander.  "That bad?"

"The idiot on night shift left over a hundred guns plus a whole tray of bullet envelopes to do.  He decided they weren't as important."

"Crap."

"Send him in with food.  I'm sure Maxine will make him eat."  He grinned.  "I was going to see if he wanted to do anything.  I'm guessing that's out."

"Probably.  Ask him when he's out of backlog?"

"Of course."  He grinned, locking the knob on the door as he left.

John looked down.  "Friends are good for you.  He has sense most of the time so he's a good choice to keep you out of trouble."  The boy snuffled him again so he petted him, making him purr in his sleep.  "Are you a kitty?" he teased.  Xander purred and meowed.  "Goof ball."  Xander just drooled some more on his thigh.  Fortunately he washed.  Pity he couldn't take a picture of it.

***

Xander looked up as someone walked into his lab.  "Ah, the reason I'm working overtime.  Get out of my lab."

"Who are you to say anything!" he demanded.

"The person you overloaded since you couldn't do your job."  He walked over and shoved him out.  The guy tried to come back so Xander threw him this time.  He saw a few people looking.  "Unfortunately, we on day shift are having to work overtime because he screwed up."

"Who're you?" a woman asked.

"Winchester, dayshift ballistics.  I came in the other day already feeling like crap to find over three hundred things that needed to be done and then Quality Control found he mismatched three things, Marla."  She shuddered.  "So he can go somewhere else while I actually do the work in my lab."  He turned and walked back in there, kicking the door shut.  He called Horatio.  "I just kicked the guy out of my lab when he showed up whistling.  Gee, Horatio, I don't know why I'm still at work."  He hung up and went back to it.  Marla tapped the walked in.  "I don't eat people who know what they're doing and don't make me do their work too," he said dryly, glancing back at her.

"Three hundred?"

"Ninety-six guns and a whole tray of bullet envelopes was what he left out for us."  He looked at her.  "Or didn't you catch his sick out?  Or the fact he hasn't processed anything in the last two days either?"  She shuddered.  "I'm working on my shift's bullets from that first day right now thanks to him.  I've still got the rest of ours, all of his since then, and there's rumors that Vice is going to bust an arms dealer tomorrow.  That and three mismatches?  Hell no I'm not having him in here while I'm working."

"I can't fire him.  We'll be short, Winchester."

He looked at her.  "Looks like we're already doing his job anyway."

"I'll talk with Horatio.  No more physical violence with my shift."

"The rest of your people know their shit and don't make me more work unnecessarily.  He has neither of those skills.  Everyone else outside of those categories is pretty safe."

"Thank you.  Did you call Horatio?"

"Yes and he wondered why I was working overtime."  He grinned.  "Shoo.  Go talk about me behind my back.  Don't call Calleigh, she's got a date."  She walked off shaking her head.  "Dates are important and with the week we're having she deserves some fun time."  He got back to work, turning on the radio for the news broadcast.  Horatio walked in an hour later with Marla.  He held up a report.  "Speed's wrong about the shooter.  The one he thought did only beat apparently.  The gun was registered to the other guy and fingerprints agreed with who shot it."

"I'll let him know."  He took it to look over.  "You included the price of grass."  Xander groaned, moving to correct that and reprint it.  "I know you're tired."

"I'm just now getting to our shift's bullets from that first day, Horatio.  And there's rumors of a gun dealer being busted tomorrow."  He looked at him.  "There's no way I want him in here with mismatches and this problem.  I'll work overtime.  I'm used to it."

"Calleigh had her phone off or I would have called her."

"She has a date."  He grinned.  "She needed it.  She's been moping again."

"That's reasonable I suppose.  You still shouldn't have attacked him."

"I didn't.  I told him to get out of my lab, then I shoved, then I threw him out when he tried again because he's a huffier girl than I am."  He handed over the reprinted one.  "Make sure none of the others have one please?"  He got back to work.  "I'm too busy to put up with people who do these things on purpose.  If it was a mistake and he had misplaced one maybe.  I can even see a mismatch now and then if it's close.  None of his were.  That and Stetler had me come in early this morning to rematch the officer's gun and I realized I had seen him the night I took Dawn to the clinic."  He looked back again.  "So I've had a wonderful day and I'm not in the mood for morons.  He can go do something useful, like cut the grass outside."  He got back to work.

"When did you get in?" Marla asked.

"Six-thirty."

"Did you eat?" Horatio asked.

"Max made sure I ate lunch and again before she left, and she left a bit late.  Crap, I hate this."  He put it up on the screen.  "That's not a bullet but it was clearly fired somehow.  Any idea since it's got friction marks from the firing but no striations?"

Horatio came over to look at the microscope, shaking his head as he straightened up. "I have no clue either, Xander.  Leave that one for Calleigh?"  He resealed it and put a post-it on top of it.  "You still shouldn't have shoved him."

"I might like to train an intern, boss, but he's not one.  He should know better by now.  Unknowing because you're still learning is one thing.   Blatantly trying to discredit this lab?  No.  Not in my ballistics lab.  You can suspend me when we're out of backlog if you want but I'm not letting him touch our samples and he'd only give us more work anyway.  This way maybe we can be a bit closer to being caught up by the time I go home tomorrow."  He looked at Marla.  "I'm sorry that I caused your team some gossiping, but I am the protocol bitch about my lab, Marla.  I shoved a member of the inspection board out because he wasn't wearing a coat or gloves.  I put up with students and those who are still learning.  Not with those who're blatantly stupid and trying to discredit us."

"I can agree to that.  Still rude."

"I fell asleep on my uncle's thigh the night all this started because I was so exhausted.  I'm still tired.  I may be rude, but I'm polite if you deserve it.  I am to you, right?"

"You are.  A bit forceful."

"I don't kiss ass," he told her bluntly, making her laugh.  "I don't play politics, I don't kiss up to the higher ups.  I do my job, I do it well, and I expect at least the minimum level of competence in those around me.  If I have to go back to check his work every morning, that's not him."

"I agree.  We'll still be short."  He held up a bullet envelope for her to look at.  "I did collect that three days ago.  I was going to see if it was done tonight or not."

"I do most of mine the same day, Marla; at the latest the next day."  She whimpered.  "Calleigh too and she's a field tech too.  I'm sorry they stuck you with him.   Maybe you should poach?  I came up with a few who had a lot of promise in the class I was in and one who was looking really good in the class behind me.  I can offer their names so you can go look them up."

"If we didn't have a hiring freeze, I might take you up on that."  He wrote them down for her.  "Thanks, kid.  When I can.  So what're we going to do, Horatio?"

"You watch over your boy after he gets back for overloading my tech?" he suggested.

"I can help by doing some of it in here but I'm not great."

Xander waved a hand.  "I'll do it.  Don't worry about that, Marla.  By Sunday I want to be out of backlog."  Horatio gave him a head shake.  "Yes I will be.  Even if I do have to work overnight tonight and tomorrow night."  He looked at her.  "With that gun dealer, we'll need it done quickly.  Let me work tonight while he goes and does something more useful, like jumping in front of a bus, and I'll leave reports on the desk for people to come get.  Or in a box outside the door instead if they want.  I know your secondary lead field guy is scared to death of me for some reason."

"I'll take that offer for tonight but the Chief will paste us all if you work forty-eight straight through, kid."

"He's working on seventy-two right now I think," Horatio said.

"No, I went home that first night.  Last night I got home at midnight but I went home.  I'll go home again tomorrow after my shift."  He turned around and got back to work.  "How bad is that arms dealer?"

"We're thinking it's mildly bad."

"Over a hundred guns?  Artillery?"

"Probably about sixty and he only handles rifles and handguns."

"That's wonderful.  If and when it comes, let Calleigh do those and I'll handle this?  That way we work concurrently and we don't get farther behind?"

"I can see that happening," he decided.  "As soon as you are tired tonight, you go to the break room or the couch in the morgue and take a nap."

"Yes, Horatio."

"And eat something by midnight."

"Yes, Horatio."

"Good."  He looked at Marla.  "What do you want to do with him?"

"I want an official report on those mismatches."  Xander looked around and found one, handing it over.  "Thank you.  The other reports?"  He pointed at the box under the printer.  "You weren't kidding."

He grinned at her.  "Calleigh and I did twelve thousand guns and about two hundred pieces of artillery in about a week and a half," he said quietly.  "We work fast when we have a backlog.  Now, shoo.  Can I have a soda on the desk?"

"For tonight.  Do not let it mess up anything," Horatio ordered.  Xander beamed and went to get one, coming back sipping it.  It and it's spare cohort both went onto a clear spot on the desk.  He and Marla left to go over that report with the idiot.  The box of reports got put in the hall outside the door.

"I was looking for this," someone said when he found his case's report.  He looked in the lab.  "Are you filling in for George?"

"No, I'm Winchester, the guy he overloaded on dayshift," he said with an absent wave.  "I'll drop reports out there as I get more done.  Right now I'm doing ours from three days ago thanks to his backlog."

"Sure, I get that.  Thanks, Winchester."  He went to deliver reports for him.  "He'll drop more as he gets them done," he told the second-in-command on this shift.  "He's got a stack in there."

"George was missing some stuff because he didn't think it was an important sample.  Winchester nearly threw a fit when he saw it from what gossip I heard."  Xander walked in shaking his head.  "No?"

"Moaned and groaned but I felt like crap that day so I didn't have the energy for a fit.  Who had this case?" he asked, holding up the bullet.  He pointed.  "You can't match those. It's a coated bullet.  The coating would have the rifling.  That's so the bullet goes farther and cleaner.   Do we have the coating?"

"I can check.  Should I give it to you?"

"Please.  Or leave it with a note.  Calleigh will be handling our new incoming while I clear this up."  He handed over the bullet.  "If there was another I'll give that over when I find it."  He left, going back to his lab.

"Huh, he's not the drama queen we heard," the second-in-command said.  His underling smirked at him.  "I did hear he was."

"He probably is now and then.  Let me check for that coating.  Teflon?"

"That's the most usual."  He went to check on the boy, nearly whimpering at the stack of things that needed to be done.  "Let us know if you need more stuff, Winchester."

"Remind me about midnight that Horatio said I had to eat?"

"I can do that."  He left him alone, closing the door most of the way.  He told the rest what was going on and where their reports would be when he got to them.  The kid worked like a slave for them.  He should get some thanks and left alone for a bit.  He did warn the one woman who would try to hit on him not to do it until he was clear.  That was him being nice.  He didn't think the guy would be too receptive to her flirting tonight.

***

Calleigh looked as Vice walked in a rolling cart.  "Oh please make it stop?" she begged.  "Night shift made us backlogged."

Xander looked over with a yawn.  "Horatio and I agreed.  You're handling anything new.  I'm handling the backlog."  He grinned.  "How many, guys?"

"About a hundred all together.  Fifteen shotguns.  Eighty-three handguns."  She sat down with a whimper.  "We heard you're backlogged, Duquesne.  When you can since he was caught with them."

"By Monday," Xander told him.  "Even if I have to work all night Sunday to help her."  That got a nod and they left it with her once she had signed the evidence statement.  He looked at her.  "I'm down to his from the next day."

"I'm glad.  How many more do you have to do?"  He pointed at his work stack.  "Ow.  Go take a nap?"

"I'll go home at the end of this shift."  He got back to work.  "The reports, if anyone comes looking, are all in that box.  They can sort them out."

"That's not bad this time."  She went to look over the guns.  "Oooh, new model."  He came over to look, earning a grin.  "It's pretty."

"It's a custom.  That one's painted."  They looked them over, then Xander got back to work.  Ryan walked in.  "All the reports I've done since two are in the box.  Sort and make sure I didn't include things like song lyrics this time.  If so I'll reprint."

"I can do that."  He pulled the box out to a layout room to go through all the reports.  He found two with lyrics and one with rambling sentences, putting them aside.  He found his cases and put those in another pile.  Eric's got sorted out for him.  Speed's for him.  Calleigh's for her and Horatio's for him.  Then the rest got put back into the box and put in the hallway.  The maintenance guy gave him a dirty look.  "Backed up reports.  Don't touch the box."  That got a nod.  He gave Xander the three.  "These two have lyrics, this one has no punctuation."

"I had to fix my period key," he admitted.  "Thanks, Ryan."

"Welcome."  He left to hand out the other reports.  Speed smirked at him for it.  "Xander's still working.  One of us should make sure he makes it home tonight."

"We can figure that out later.  Eric's in the morgue."  That stack got put on the table out of the way.  "I'll let him know.  Anything good?"

"A whole box for night shift."

"I'm sure they'll be thrilled."  He texted that to his counterpart and got down to seeing what had happened with his bullet samples, and one knife sample as it turned out.  He grinned at the goofiness because that boy was not being taken from them unless he majorly screwed up a lot of stuff.

Ryan walked down the hall to give Horatio his, running into Eric.  "Your stack of reports from Xander is next to Speed."

"How many?"

"He's down to two days behind.  Calleigh's doing all the new stuff."

"That'll work.  Thanks."  He went to look, taking them from Speed's hand.  "Anything good?"

"We have a shooter in common."  He let him see that report to compare them.  It was noted in both that it matched to the other's case and a few others.  "Let's start with that one?"

"Sure."  They went to start searching for that girl.  A bit of a difference but they did have female gang members in Miami.

***

John looked up at the knock, going to answer the door.  "I take it he finally passed out?"

"Nearly in the car home."  Speed walked him in.  "Here you go, one tired ballistics tech who hasn't been home in days according to H."

"Has he eaten?"

"Max nagged but he managed to forget as soon as she left at least once."

"How many more days of this?"

"He's down to under a hundred samples backlogged.  Calleigh has more than he does with the recent arms dealer arrest."

"Good."  He put the boy on the couch then looked at him.  "I did meet your dad when I first started to hunt."

"I told him you were down here and he nearly choked himself to death."

John smiled.  "He was a bit of a cold, standoffish guy.  Said his girl was being fussy."

"Yeah, Mom does that now and then.  Can you handle him?"

"Of course.  I did after that large bust series in New York."

"Cool."  He handed over a note from Horatio and Maxine.  "They nagged well in your absence.  If you need us to help, yell."

"I will.  Thanks, Speedle."

"Not a problem."  He left, going home in a cab.  He had rode in with Calleigh that morning because she said she'd be too tired to drive home.  They had already dropped her off.  Xander might wake up in the next day, and if so, he'd come finish slaving for them.  He hoped.

***

Marla looked at the large box of reports that had some sliding onto the floor.  She looked in ballistics once she got the door unlocked.  "Well, I'll be damned."  She relocked it and carried the box of reports off to be sorted out for her crew.  "Winchester is nearly clear."  They smiled.  "Looks like you can almost see the table top again."  Her people were very happy with him and her once they had cleaned out the box.  The other stuff was day shift's so she put it in Horatio's office for the night.  He could hand his own people theirs.

***

The Chief walked in the next morning.  "Horatio, I got a strange, enlightening call from Payroll a few minutes ago.  Why did your prize ballistics tech not log out or log in for two days?"

"Because he didn't go home, sir."

"Why not?  Was it an emergency?"

Horatio licked his lips.  "Actually, it was a problem with the night shift ballistics tech.  Due to him we've had a severe backlog."

"Why?"  Horatio handed over the report.  He read it and sighed, looking at him.  "Were we aware of this problem?"

"You'd have to ask Calleigh, sir.  She had him transferred out of her lab originally.  That's when we got Xander."

"Interesting."  He walked down there with Horatio following.  He paused in the doorway to smile at the tech napping on top of the gun box.  "Is that good for him?"

She spun, giving him a scared look.  "Don't sneak up on me today please, Chief.  I'm tired and apt to say something mean or rude."

"That's fine.  I understand we've had a problem?"

"The tech I had transferred for skipping evidence skipped more on night shift and when Marla caught him he left it all out for us before pulling a sick out.  We came in to nearly three hundred guns and bullets that needed processing, sir, plus ours."  He moaned, looking defeated.  "Xander's been killing himself with overtime to get us caught up.  I can't wake him up.  It's mean.  Even if he is calling the gun a unicorn and petting it in his sleep."

Horatio walked around the Chief, looking at Xander.  "It's not hurting the gun, right?"

"He's not drooling so far.  If he was I'd be mean because he'd get mad at himself."

"Good."  He moved closer, hearing the quiet muttering about 'good 'corn'.  He smiled.  "Is it a unicorn or a bicorn, Xander?" he asked quietly.

"Unicorn.  Bicorns are mean," he mumbled, shifting some and smacking his lips.  "Mean and horn you up the backside.  Unicorn good pet.  Pretty baby unicorn with horsies.  Need horsies."

"Maybe you should go nap in the break room so you can go riding sometime soon.  I'm sure John would take you."  Xander shook his head, hugging the gun box tighter to him.  "It'd be more comfortable on the couch."  He touched him and Xander whimpered, swatting at him to leave him alone and go away.  "I can't do that.  You're napping in the lab, Xander."

"Bad people!" he complained.  "Go 'way before I have to stake.  Not yours, Spike, don't touch.  Not nummy for you."

"I hate to do it, but no."  Calleigh whistled loudly, making Xander flinch and wake up looking around for the problem.  "Sorry but you were asleep and starting to have a bad dream, Xander.  Go take a kitty nap in the break room.  You can come back in a half-hour."

He yawned.  "I'm fine.  I'm sorry if I said anything to embarrass myself."  He looked back at Horatio.  "Sorry, Horatio."

"Not a problem, Xander.  I was trying to wake you a bit more gently.  You were certain that gun was a unicorn."

Xander blushed and ducked his head.  "Really sorry I said that out loud."  He checked it and made sure it was still sealed.  "Is this my current one?"

"I think perhaps he should have a full day off, Horatio," the Chief said.

Xander blinked at him.  "If I do I'll never get caught up, sir.  I'm only a day behind right now.  I'll go home at the end of my shift."

"Speed drove both of them home yesterday," Horatio told him.  "That arms dealer's stock is being handled by Calleigh along with all the day shift evidence.  He's doing the backlog that the person on night shift left us.  Though the first night he stayed over he did shove him out of the lab and nearly threw him up the hall."

Xander yawned again.  "Let me get caffeine."  He walked around them then came back for his wallet.  "Sorry about the overtime, Chief, but I'll be damned if I let this happen and discredit this lab."  He walked off again.  Maxine saw and pounced him to look him over.  "I just took a nap," he defended.

"Horatio, I'm making him eat."

"Please do and put him on the couch for an hour as well.  He can afford an hour of nap time."  He looked at his boss.  "I've checked on the cameras for his nap times, sir.  He spent two hours on the morgue's couch this morning.  Alexx woke him up when she came in."

"I think that's all you can ask of the human body.  How much longer do you see needing this overtime, Caine?"

"He thinks we'll be caught up by Sunday," Calleigh told him.  "I'm going to be more conservative and say Wednesday unless we get another major bunch of evidence."

Maxine walked in.  "Can I download him napping to show John?"

"No.  That's mean," Horatio told her.

"But he's so adorable!" she cooed.

"No, Miss Valera.  If you want to see him nap that badly, offer him your couch."

"Fine.  He's asleep again.  He got a thing of soup out of the machine and put it in the microwave then sat down at the table.  His head hit it and he's drooling and snoring."

"At least he didn't drool on the gun box," Calleigh told her with a grin.  "He was petting it and calling it a nice unicorn."

"Awww."

"Miss Valera, you're which tech?" the Chief asked patiently.

"DNA, sir, and his mother hen."  She smiled sweetly.  "The boy forgets to eat and hasn't slept in days.  He was exhausted the day this all started too.  He's going to get sick.  Then I'll really have to fuss but the boy'll try to run."

"I'd like him to have a day off soon."

"He won't go until he's clear, sir.  That's the way he is," Calleigh told him.  "Then he and I are both taking a day off.  Different ones so we don't get backed up again, but we're both taking one."

"I can agree to that.  Horatio, correct his time card to exclude napping times."  That got a nod.  "Try to make him go home at night.  He's already on overtime for the week and it's only Thursday."

"I'll try," he promised.  "Thank you, sir."

"Not a problem."  He left, glancing in the break room.  Speed was staring at the boy.  "Let him nap.  He needs it."

"I heard why."  He gave him a look.  "He's very sure he can get it done soon, sir, then no more overtime."

"Good.  Horatio, I want the official report into that tech's misconduct."  Xander whined.  "Not you, Winchester.  The bad one."  Xander purred and patted the table.  Speed handed him a book to pet, letting him cuddle his head on it.  "That is too cute to be manly," he decided, heading off.

Speed smirked, puling the soup out to put next to him.  "Eat when you get up, Xander."  Xander mumbled something unintelligible that might've been 'not hungry' or 'need horsies'  but he wasn't sure.  He walked off to see if they had more reports for him.  "Are we up to mine yet?" he asked Calleigh.  She pointed at the printer tray and the box of reports.  He dug in to find anything of his.  "I'll bring this around to the others."  The ones in the tray got stapled together and dropped in as well.  One of Speed's was in there so he carried it off in his teeth.  Eric took the box from him to look for his.  "He's a day behind."

"He's breaking himself to do it too," he pointed out.

"He's napping on the table in the break room."  He heard a glass shatter.  "We good?" he called.

"I was trying to get my door unstuck and my wall broke," Cooper called from AV.  "I'm really sorry.  I wasn't pulling that hard."

Speed went to get him a broom and dustpan plus the forms since Horatio was helping Calleigh.  "Here."

"Thanks.  That was really thin glass, Speed.  I only yanked twice and it fully broke."

"We told them the glass was a bad idea," he pointed out.  "Wolfe, come help him get this glass up," he called, spotting him.

"Sure."  He came that way to help.  "Door stuck again?"

"Yes.  Damn thing," he muttered.  Ryan grinned.  "Xander's asleep in the break room."

"I saw that.  One of the patrol guys is guarding the doorway since he just bit someone when they tried to get a soda."  Cooper laughed.  "Got the sticky pads for the glass dust?"

"Not yet."  He went to get some, bringing them back.  "I told Horatio, he only moaned.  I'm guessing the budget was blown by overtime this month."

"Xander hasn't went home in two days, DC."

"Damn he is Superman."

"I joked about that.  He said he was Batman but capes are for guys who're trying to cover up a flabby butt or compensating for something."  DC giggled, swatting at him.  "He'd have to be the anatomically correct Batman."

"I'm guessing he's got good muscles too since he can move artillery cases by himself."

"He does.  The salespeople who measured him all got very happy when he dragged me to buy new clothes.  Sometimes literally because I thought I had enough.  He was right though."  They finished cleaning it up and Ryan went to get an body tarp to hang up instead.  That way it would keep the wind from the open doorway up the hall out.  Then he went back to Trace.  "Xander bit someone."

"I'd bite if they woke me up too," he agreed.  "They need stitches?"

"Nope.  Just yelped and backed away.  Alexx got called to look at it."  Speed smirked.  "Are you driving him home tonight or am I?"

"I will."  That got a nod and they got back to work.  Horatio paused in the hallway to look at AV, shaking his head as he walked off to check on Xander.  "That poor kid.  I left your reports on your desk."

"Thanks.  I'll look at them once we're done with this evidence."  They saw Horatio walking the boy outside, Xander stumbling but partially awake at least.  "How many more does he have?"

"Sixty I think."

"That's got to make him happy."

"Which was why he was calling the gun box a unicorn."

Ryan laughed.  "That's cute."

"Valera wanted film."

"I'm sure she'll manage to get it from someone."  He got back to work, shaking his head.

***

John opened the door at the sound of the hummer.  "He fall asleep finally?"

"He's taken a few naps but he bit someone who tried to wake him up in the break room."   He put the boy on the couch with help from John.  "Let him sleep.  He got two hours on the morgue couch last night."

"Sure, he can nap."  He stared at him.  "Anything I should know?"

"He was cute while napping in the lab.  Miss Valera might have film by now.  He said something about wanting horses."

"I'll let him go riding and be really sore."  That got a smile.  "How's Calleigh?"

"She's fine so far.  She's nearly done with the arms dealer's things.  That leaves the last few morning's worth of evidence.  He thinks they'll be caught up by Sunday."

"There's always hope, Horatio.  He eat?"

"He put soup in the microwave and chose to sit down.  He fell asleep doing that."

"I'll make him eat real food for dinner then.  Thank you for bringing my boy home."

"Not a problem.  Watch out for him.  We're not sure he wasn't sleepwalking on his way down to the morgue last night."

"I've seen that during finals."  Horatio smiled and left.  John looked down at the boy, taking the throw to cover him.  "There, you nap, kiddo.  You really deserve it this time."  Xander snuffled so he let him sniff his wrist.  It got a little lick then Xander went back to snoring and drooling.  John went to make dinner.  The boy would eat tonight.  He had lost ten pounds it looked like.

***

Speed got there first the next morning since Horatio got called to a scene with Eric and Wolfe was stuck in traffic.  It was a benefit of having a motorcycle.  He stared in the ballistics lab, calling Calleigh by feel.  "How close are you?"  He listened to her cheerful voice.  "Calleigh, I just called out to God.  How close are you?"  She muttered something then answered.  "Good.  Call your little evil helper too."  He hung up and looked at the mess, calling Horatio.  "You're needed back at the lab ASAP, H.  No, I'm staring at ballistics.  The door was open.  It's a wreck."  He hung up and stood there staring.  Ryan stomped in so he waved him over, watching him swear and mutter too.  "Get DC to do the tapes.  I want to know who did this, when, and if they left with anything," he ordered quietly.  Ryan jogged off to get into AV to do that since Cooper wasn't in yet.  Horatio stomped in with the Chief.  He got out of their way.  Horatio muttered a swear word too.  "Wolfe's looking at the hallway tapes."

"Mr. Wolfe, do we have it queued up yet?" he called as he stomped that way.

"Nearly.  I'm scanning starting from when I left.  I'm at ten and counting."  He kept going until he found it.  "There we are."  He let it run at normal speed once he had it back at the beginning.  "Only some guy in to empty the trash before then and he only reached inside the door and took the can to dump then put it back."  He looked at him.  "Xander's going to kill him."

"I'm going to kill him," Speed told him.  Calleigh let out a shriek.  "We're watching the tape."  She stomped that way and shoved them out of her way to rerun it.  "Did he leave with anything?"

"A folder it looks like."  She straightened up.  "He's mine.  I will hand him over once I've beaten him to confessing and begging."  Xander walked in and stared.  "The idiot."

He just nodded.  "He should be a good dog and clean it up while in a leash and collar."  His phone beeped with a text message.  He wrote John back, getting an order.  "He thinks I'll slip and kill him.  Can you go leash our new doggy, Calleigh, or would you like help?"

"I won't need help."

"I'll be going with you anyway," Horatio assured her.  "We'll go now.  I want his address.  Call it in."  He walked off with her.  He ran into John Hagen staring into ballistics.  "The tech she sent off for skipping evidence."

"The one who went to night shift?" he asked calmly.  She nodded, looking pissed.  "C'mon, we'll go arrest him so you can bruise him all you want, Calleigh."

"You can help Horatio pull me off him.  He took a folder out too, John."

"I'll do an inventory," Xander told her calmly.  "Go.  I'll have John pick up a collar if you want."

"It's fitting but I doubt they'd let us."  She walked off, the two men following to keep her under control.

Xander looked in his lab.  "Speed, I think I need some forms."

"I'll get 'em for you," Ryan promised, going to do that.  He brought them back and a new box of pens, getting a tired smile.  "Want help?"

"I'm good and you're up for next case."  He walked in and turned up the radio once he found it.  It was on, just playing under a former work bench.  He started there, noting everything he had to pick up and clean off and what was broken.  Then he pulled down their exemplar catalog to go over the guns they had.  He wouldn't put it past the moron to have taken one too.  By then, Calleigh was up the hall ranting at someone.  He checked their desks, not finding anything missing in his or hers that he knew of.  He walked out with the list, handing it to her.  "Both computers are broken, one microscope too.  The other's got a blown bulb and I'm not sure if it'll work or not.  The first one sparked when I tried it so it's gone."  She slumped, sitting down holding her face.  "He poured something on the firing pen floor.  It's sticky.  The exemplar is all there.  Your desk looks all right but I don't know everything in it.  Mine's still together too.  Our chairs and the main work table are all broken."  She looked up at him.  He nodded.  "Broken from underneath by the way the stress fractures go."

"There's other news," she said quietly.  "He found the people that want to kill you."

"I'm more worried about the watchers.  Terrorists wouldn't attack here unless they had a good plan.  Watchers are sometimes idiots and sometimes not.  They hired mercenaries to attack the lab in New York because they thought a case had gotten sight of the slayer in training up there doing something wrong while hunting.  Watchers also have money so they can hire if they want to.  Or do like they did with John."  He texted that to him as a warning.  He looked at her.  "I'm not moving this week.  I'm too tired to give a damn.  I'll stand there and shoot every last one if they show up."  He got himself a drink and went to put the rest of the trash in the bucket so it could be taken out.  He looked around the better cleaned lab, going to get a mop and bucket. It had to be done.  He did swab up some of the stuff on the firing pen floor to be analyzed.  Ryan ran it for him, making him grimace.  "Maple syrup?"  He rolled his eyes but added something to cut the sugar so it'd be easier to clean.  Not like vinegar would hurt the floor.

***

Horatio walked in that night.  "What stinks?"

"I had to mop three times with vinegar to get the maple syrup off the firing pen floor," he said, looking at him.  "Can we redecorate now?"

"I can definitely replace things."

"Not glass?" he asked hopefully.

"That would probably be more expensive."

"I'll pay for it, Horatio.  Calleigh and I will pick it out.  It'll be useable, useful, and tasteful."

"I get final approval."

"Yes, sir."  He went to find his boss.  She still had a headache and was having tea while filling out the damage reports.  "You, me, a place to find a new worktable tonight?"

She looked up. "The department only goes through certain suppliers, Xander."

He shrugged.  "I don't care if they do.  I'm going to buy something that works and won't break."  He grinned.  "You can pick out the colors and styles.  As long as I can clean it easily."

"I doubt we can do that."

"Horatio said he gets final approval."

She blinked a few times.  "Then I might take you up on that offer.  When did you want to go?"

"After I hit home to get into the money stash.  That way we can pay for extra speedy delivery."

She smiled.  "Some things will still have to be ordered, like the computers."

"Bullshit."  He smirked.  "They do make good commercial grade computers, Calleigh.  We'll say we're hyping our personal research lab."  He took a form to fill out, handing it over for her to sign.  "C'mon.  I'll drive."

"Fine.  If Horatio said it's fine."

"It's fine," Horatio said as he walked past the door.  "Give me those forms tomorrow, children."

"Yes, Dad," Xander called.  He grinned at her.  "C'mon, they'll close soon."  She got up and followed him out to his car.   He kept the music on quietly on the way home, stunning John when he walked in.  "Need into the vault.  We get to replace things or wait a month for the PD to do it."

"You have that small lab there.  Want it?"

"It's better quality but I might need it.  We can get the same thing.  I can count it as a charitable donation on my taxes."  He walked over to the sanctuary house and into the library.  "Hey, Bobby."  He paused to give him a hug.  "A jealous bitch destroyed my lab because we caught him being a moron."  He got into the vault and pulled out some money, stuffing it in his pocket.

"What is this place?" Calleigh called as she walked in.

"It's where I set up my sanctuary."

Bobby hurried out to stop her from heading into the armory.  "You must be his boss.  Bobby Singer, Miss Duquesne.  The boys said nice things about you."

She smiled.  "I am.  Nice to meet you.  Xander's said some sweet things about you."  She shook his hand.  Xander came out of the library so she looked in there and moaned.  "Book nerd," she teased.

"And if I'm really nice I might let you tell Speed so he can want to borrow."  He winked at Bobby for the help.  "Thanks.  Need help?  John's at home."

"Not at the moment.  You good?"

"Still a bit tired but I'll sleep tonight."  That got a nod and a clap on the back.  "C'mon, I can hear expensive stuff calling to be bought."  He walked her out.  "John, Bobby's in the library."

"I'll talk to him in a few.  Have a good trip, kids.  Xander, no more clothes."

"I need more underwear but I can get that the next time I drag Ryan with me."  He gave him an insane grin as he closed the door.

John relaxed.  "Thank you for keeping her out of the armory, Bobby.  Want some coffee?"

"Sure, could use it and a muffin or something."  He came over to get it then went back to his studying.  John followed to help him.  He loved the library.  It was quiet and Xander wasn't babbling or bouncing around in it.

***

She looked at him once they were back on the road.  "Was he keeping me out of your exemplar?"

"Probably."

"I looked you up on some of the odder sites."  Xander grinned at her.   "Would Horatio complain?"

"Yes, and so would others."

"Uh-huh.  Is it all registered?"

"Everything that can be registered is registered."  She gave him a stare.  He grinned.  "All my guns are, Calleigh."

"Do we think the car is bugged?"

"No clue.  I left the bug detector at home."

She sighed, looking at him.  "Are they nice?"

"And useful.  If you don't fuss too much about my personal collection I'll let you come pet and help me clean them now and then.  Dean does when he's here."

"I might take you up on that.  Nothing too huge that might take out a building or bigger?"

"Not that I know of.  Unless someone gave me something."  He shrugged.  "You can see as long as you don't scream or want them."

"I can do that.  I know you're not going to take out civilians or make me covet them too much."  He grinned.  "Where to first?"

"Science lab place.  It closes first."  He pointed.  "There for the tables if they don't have any, then pick a computer maker."

"We can do that."  They parked and got out, walking into the lab store.  It was very quiet in there.   She ran a hand over a table.  "That's nice but it's got a texture."

"Not long enough either," Xander told her.  The salesman gave him a look.  "Hi, I'm Xander Winchester, a ballistics tech with the local lab.  I'm funding our lab's remodel since it's now trashed thanks to someone."  He looked at the money and groaned, uncasting the spell on it by muttering.  She looked then at him.  He shrugged.  It was normal now.  He let her hold it.  It changed.  He changed it back subtly while she distracted the guy and he ended the magic around them.  It stopped and the money changed back.  He called John, who undid the security system for him.  It changed back to money.  "Sorry, we have a field generator that does that," he said in her ear.  She looked at him.  "Security system."  He looked at the man.  "My lab is like this," he said, taking some paper to draw it out.  "We're missing this table and this equipment area.  Including our comparison microscopes."

The man led them to what they needed, not finding much in the way of longer tables.  Xander paid for what they needed and wanted then headed to the nearby kitchen/bath remodeling place.  Calleigh smiled.  "We're with the lab."

"Is there a problem with all the glass?  We don't really do glass unless you want to replace some with glass blocks."

"Actually, there is a wall that needs replaced in AV, but our ballistics lab got trashed."  She winced.  "Including our main work table."  He pointed at the diagram.  "We need this replaced and we really need some more storage for things that need to be done or a good table to pile samples on."  He looked at her.  "We use acid now and then to get serial numbers back and we'll have a lot of GSR so we'll have to wipe it down constantly and do sanitizing washes."

She looked at it.  "It's not what we usually do but we do have a number of things like countertop materials that might help.  They're used to mild acids, like vinegars, and can be easily cleaned."  She led them to the area of the store.  "This is our wall of samples.  How did you want to do the top?  Like a table?  Room for feet?  Some shelves here and there?"

"We could use a few shelves but we don't want to have to crawl to get into them," Calleigh said.  She pointed at something.  "That desk area is nice but we usually have work stools, like bar stools."

She looked at the picture then smiled and showed her something.  "Like this?"

They both nodded.  "Only less fancy and not in wood?" she agreed.

"Of course.  Do you want a laminate or do you want a solid surface or possibly something like a corian countertop system?"

She shrugged.  "Show me options.  The longer it takes to fix this the longer crooks go free."

She smiled and pointed at some.  "What's your budget?"  Xander handed her three thousand dollars, making her gasp.  "Well.  For that we can definitely make you a few tables."   She pointed at some of the nicer materials.  Calleigh liked one.  Xander liked a different color.  "We can order either of those but it might take a few weeks since that's custom made to size and shape."

"What do you have on hand that you can hopefully set up this week?" Xander asked her.

She went to look then came back, pointing at something.  "We have this in pink, white, and blue."

"The lab is kinda mostly green," Xander admitted.

She pointed at one.  "It's horribly more expensive since it's new and a recycled material.  It's a solid surface, recycled plastic mixed with granite and marble leftovers then poured into a mold.  We can mix it on site for you once we have the forms and the underpinnings up."

Xander added more to it.  "Please.  Calleigh, wood or metal for the underside?"

"Metal would clean easier.  Wood's prettier though."

He pointed at something.  "That's a patterned metal that's usually used for accents.  It has a slight texture but we don't usually wipe down the table legs.  They can get it less textured than that."

"We have this one in stock thanks to over ordering for a proposed bathroom," she said with a point at another one.  "Since we can tint the top any color....."

Calleigh looked then nodded.  The dark green would look nice.  "Make it a coordinating shade?"

"Of course we can.  When can we go look?"

"Do you want to go tonight or come in tomorrow?" Xander asked.

"I can come in first thing tomorrow."  She started the order.  "I'll be bringing in my construction head."  They nodded.  "I'll see you then."

He wrote down his number.  "Call me."  She nodded at that.  They left, going to the computer store.  "It will look pretty and be very functional."

"I hope so."  She smiled.  "We don't need all this."

"Consider it a charitable donation for my taxes," he told her.  "That way we don't have to work with substandard stuff that's a few years out of date until they order us new stuff."

"They might," she agreed.  They walked into the computer store.  "Hi, MDPD crime lab."

"You don't usually shop with us, ma'am."

"Unfortunately we're in a problem.  Our lab got trashed," Xander told him.  "Computers too."  That got a nod.  "I'm donating."

"It's good that the lab has some supporters among the normal people."

"No, I'm her gun geek," he said with a grin.  "We'll need three stations that can log onto the intra and internet for searching.  We'll need it to handle high end graphics for searching samples.  We'll need a good set of hard drives.  They'll need to be somewhat shielded since we're the ballistics lab and there's gunpowder floating around now and then.  Sound is nice but we're not allowed to put music on company computers."

"Let's see what we have.  Any particular brand?"

"Works and works well.  If we're down for long, people go free," Xander said simply.  "With a maintenance contract just in case."

He nodded at that.  "There's a few of the off brands that local companies use.  They're very reliable.  Will it need to synch with anything like a laptop or a PDA?"

"Now and then I do for court," Calleigh agreed.  She touched a monitor.  "Our new ones are that size."

"And a bit small for me," Xander told her.  That got a nod.  "We're used to flat panel monitors."

"That's fine."  He led them to the system they should have.  They'd have to upgrade a few things but they could do that in the store and hand them over the next day.  Xander paid for them and they took them to be upgraded.  "Such nice people."  He told his techs who it was for and how it had to do certain things.  They agreed they could do that and the guy had paid to have their information switched from their old machines.

***

Horatio came in late the next morning thanks to court, finding someone measuring.  "What did we decide on?"

Xander pointed at the samples.  "We're debating table top color and extending the table around the wall in that dead space."

"I wouldn't care but your desk will be awfully cramped," Calleigh told him.

"It's already cramped.  I can use that section for storage."  She smiled at that.  "We can put all those forms that we never use in a small set of shelves there."  The guy drew out what he thought and Xander made a small correction, getting a nod.  Horatio chose the color for the table top.  "How soon?" Xander asked.

"As soon as we get a better payment."  She held up a bill.

Xander rolled his eyes.  "John," he muttered.  He pulled out a card, making her happier.  "Calleigh?"

"I checked earlier to make sure things were all right.   He must've turned back on that field security system of yours."

"It's sprayed to look funny when it's on," Xander admitted.  "That was the test batch.  I completely forgot."  He texted that to John.  It went off and the money looked normal.  "See?"  She smiled thinly but the card ran.  "Did the other stuff come out of the other bundle?"

"I think I did.  That was underneath."

"That figures.  We'll sort that out later.  I think washing will take that off."  She nodded at that.  "We're mad chemists too," he said with a grin.  She smiled at that, handing over the invoice.  He signed it and she left to make their new table.  "Sorry, guys."

"It's fine, Xander.  As long as the others don't have that problem," Horatio told them.

"That's why I checked when I noticed it looked funny," she told him.  "I was going to say it was foreign."

"Technically that is a Yen," Xander told her.  He looked at Horatio.  "The computers will be here later today.  The microscopes are in my car."  He went to get people to haul them up there.  "Want to pull in card tables until it comes?"

"If we must."  They set things up so they could get it done once things got there.  The computer people showed up after lunch with everything.  Xander ended up paying extra on his card but that was fine.  John had brought real money to them and taken the funny looking stuff back.  They got set up enough to go back to work until their new table got there.  Someone even came to replace the AV wall with something better.  Horatio gave Xander a questioning look, getting a shrug back.  He got back to work.  He'd still make his Sunday deadline even if he did have to stay overnight again.

***

Xander looked up as Marla walked in that night, shutting things down.  He handed over a key.  "We had maintenance change the locks."  He waved a hand.  "The new table will be here in two days.  They'll need it closed off for a day thanks to the tabletop needing to cure."

"What happened?  I was off yesterday."  He handed her copies of the reports.  "I'll kill the little brat."

"He's already begging but I suggested a leash."  She smiled at that.  "It's all coming.  These are all brand new."  She nodded at that.  "The monitor on the left is set a bit brighter because she wanted it that way."

"I can handle that.  Thank you, Xander."

"You're welcome."  He grinned.  "I'm done."  She walked him out and shut the door, locking it with her key.  "I left the new stack of reports in the break area so everyone could grab on their coffee breaks.  They were fixing the AV window."

"I can see that.  Those blocks go a lot better."

"And they're set so the glare is rainbowed above their heads and monitors."

"Even nicer.  Thank you."

"That wasn't me.  I have no idea who did that."  She nodded at that.  "So if you hear, Horatio would like to thank them too.  So would Cooper."  He grinned. "I'm headed home now.  Have a good shift.  Protect our new stuff since it's still shiny and has new stuff smell."  He walked off to log out.

She smiled, going to check on AV.  "Winchester said the glare goes above your head now in a rainbow."

"I saw that.  It's nice.  They did a nice job.  Fixed the sticking door problem too."

"Winchester said that wasn't him.  The ballistics lab was.  When did it get trashed?"

"Two in the morning two days ago when you went home early by the tapes."

"Wish I had known.  I would've told Horatio so he didn't have to come in and find the surprise."

"I think Duquesne hunted him down and dragged him back by his balls, Marla.  It's good now though."

"Good."  She left to check on the stack of reports on the table.  She found her few and told the others to go find theirs.

***

Xander came in the first day with their new table, running a hand over it.  "Do we need a sealant coat?" he muttered.  "It was smoother there."  He called them.  "This is the lab.  Do we need a sealant coat?  No, it's a bit rough and I thought it was a smooth finish."  He listened.  "I can do that.  Used to work construction.  Thank you.  It looks great."  He grinned as he hung up, calling John to pick up stuff for him to seal it.  Calleigh came in and ran a hand over it.  "It needs a sealant coat.  They didn't tell us that so John's picking it up for me.  If I get it soon it'll be dry by lunch time."  He looked at her.  "Then we'll set things back up."  She nodded, going to work in the field while he got the things he needed.  "Did that coating come off?" he asked when he took the bucket from John and the bag with brushes.

"On most of it.  A few are still odd looking.  Thankfully the bank stuff's down."

"That's good since I ended up putting it on my Visa."  He grinned.  "Thanks, John."

"Need help?"

"I might.  Let me ask."  He looked around.  "Horatio?"  He leaned out of trace.  "I need to do a sealant coat.  Can John help?"  He nodded so he signed him in and took him to show him the new lab.  "See?"

"It's very nice looking."  They settled in to topcoat the top and edges of the new table.  It was dried fairly fast with a heat gun from Trace and then a second coat got applied.  John ran a hand over it once it was dry.   "A few small brush ridges but otherwise very smooth."

"If I have to I can sand those down."  He grinned.  "We're not using them again."

"I can agree to that."  He patted him on the back.  "Coming home on time tonight?"

"We managed to work for the last few days," he offered. "I should be fully caught up by late tonight.  Or early tomorrow."

"The boys are nearly back."

"I'll try to be home on time then," he said with a grin.  Calleigh leaned in.  "Except for a few overlapping ridges, it's smooth and ready for use."  She came in to run her hand across it.  Then she gave them both short hugs.  "Thanks, John."

"Welcome, kid."  He smiled at them before leaving.  Horatio stopped him.  "I made sure that it could stand up to someone spilling acid or gunpowder on it by telling them what I remember he had to study to learn to use."

"Thank you for the help, John.  It's very appreciated.  I wanted to ask you about the chance that the tech had told someone he was here," he said quietly.

"He told me that.  So far we haven't seen anything showing that they're in town.  My boys just got back in the state.  I called my contacts in town.  If I hear, you'll hear from one of us almost immediately."  That got a nod.  "So far things are all right."

"Damn it," Xander called.

"Problems?" John asked.

"Found out who replaced the window."  He came out and dropped a bag in front of them.  "I have an admirer."  He walked off again.

John squatted down to open the bag, frowning at the cash inside.  "Did you want the IAB guys down here to discourage this one?"

"I'm not sure Rick wouldn't sell him."  The demon appeared, staring at him.  "Xander is mine and John's.  You may not have him."

"Tough, you die.  He won't."

Xander leaned out of ballistics.  "Don't make me come out there."  The demon fled.  He grinned.  "Someone decide what we're doing with that, guys."  He got back to work.  "Or make Speed negotiate with them.  Ow!"

Calleigh strolled out.  "I reminded him that he likes Speed too much to traumatize him that way," she said with a smile.  John laughed.  She looked in the bag.  "Oh, my."

John zipped it back up.  "Are we certain it came from that source?"

"It appeared with the little mushroom headed thing," she told him.  "I'm sure it wasn't evidence, John."  She pointed.  "Rick, come here for a moment please?"  He sneered but came over.  "You heard about the ones who wanted my young ballistics tech as their own up there?"

"Unfortunately."

"One just showed up again," John said, handing him the bag.  Rick opened it and shuddered, handing it back.   "The guy up there demanded he donate half of it.  Are you going to?"

"You can't accept that."

"He dropped it and left.  I'd give it back if he showed up."

"He did just tell us we could die and he'd still get him," Horatio said.

Xander strolled out with the little creature.  "I don't want you in my lab.  People can say bad things about my work."  He walked off again.  "The other's waiting in your office, Horatio."  He waved.  "Tell me what I'm doing with that one, guys.  John, can we have steaks for dinner?  I'm really hungry."

"Eat something," he called after him.

Calleigh patted him on the arm.  "He won't really drive you nuts and you appreciate him more than the little insanities he causes."

"I know."  He looked at the demon then at the squeaking officer.  "We should probably take this to the office."

"We should," Horatio agreed, walking that way with the demon.  He opened the door and smelled a very subtle perfume.  Of course, he couldn't see out the windows and the room looked like it was draped for a tent effect.  "Undo it," he ordered.

"Master say be comfortable while talk."

Horatio looked at him.  "This isn't comfortable."  The demon huffed and changed it to look more like an English sitting room.  Complete with horsehair sofas and a tea set on the bookshelves that had a lot well-read looking books.  "This is still not my office."

"Is comfortable.  All that matters."  He looked at him.  "You have Master's boy."

"No, I have Xander because he's ours.  He doesn't belong to anyone but himself.  Especially not to someone named Master."

"How did it do that?" Rick demanded.  The demon changed his clothes to fit in better, making him gasp and nearly cry at the new clothes that made him look like a footman.  "Undo it."

"You is his servant."

"No, he's a coworker," Horatio said.  The man's clothes was changed again.  He sat down, staring at the demons.  "Xander is not going to date anyone or anything that he does not choose, gentlemen."

"He can choose between us," the little mushroom headed one said.  "We will be quite kind to him.  As my underling said."

Horatio stared at him for a moment.  "He said he could kill us."

"No, he pointed out that the boy would not die with us.  His grasp of your harsh, guttural language is slim."  He created tea, handing it around.  "Perhaps we should talk to the boy himself?"

John shook his head.  "No.  I'm the boy's guardian.  The boy is not dating a demon without me having to take him out due to a compulsion on me."  They stared at him.  "There is no way around that.  I nearly got him for playing with a succuba once.  I would end up hating myself when I killed him over this."

"We offer much," the larger demon told him.

"I'm sure you do," Horatio agreed.  "Xander is still his own man."

"Xander?" the larger one asked.

"He had to change his identity because of the price on his head."

"Can eliminate that," the larger one said with a hand wave.  "Boy be safe with master."

"You won't be," John said.  "I'm John Winchester."  They flinched back at that.  "Xander is like one of my boys.  You won't get him and you won't get Sammy.  Actually, now and then they have each other."

The demons stared.  "It would be beneficial to have them both," the smaller one said.  "Still, it is not seemly for ones such as the boy to be running around without a keeper.  Anyone could eat him.  That taint does remain to mark him."

"If he wasn't so tired I'd let him go play with another succuba tonight to get rid of it.  Unfortunately he's got to work."  He texted his sons to show up.  Then he looked at them.  "No one owns the boy but him.  No matter what the bribe is, no matter what the price is.  I'd have to rescue him and your lives would be forfeit as well as everyone else's in my path."

"Xander has a wonderful arsenal to lend him," Calleigh agreed.  She smiled at him.  "He said I could come over to help him clean it sometime soon.  That way you don't have to block me out."

"I'm not sure you'd want that.  Mac nearly choked."

"Unlike Mac, I know what the boy can really do."  She looked at them.  "Boys, you're not getting him.  I need him too much and so do the citizens of Miami."  She heard the alarm and winced.  "Oh, please no.  Not now."  They ran out to see what was going on.  Two officers were struggling with an armed suspect.  The boy pounced him and knocked him down then out by hitting his head on the floor.  "Xander!"

"Better to pounce than have a shooting review, boss."

"Get up here once you've cleaned up."

"Are you injured?  There's blood!" Maxine said, looking him over.  "I'll be damned."  She swatted him, making him yelp.  "Changing area.  Now."  She gave him a nudge.  "Someone tell Alexx he's bleeding?"  One called her and she shoved him that way again, making him trudge.  "I can be as fussy as you need me to be, Xander, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let you be injured and not fuss."

"I'll quit getting injured," he offered.

"Ma'am, ME Woods is out on a call."

John coughed.  "My boys are coming.  Dean and Sam.  Both tallish, dark hair, green eyes.  Let them check him over.  We can all do stitches if we have to."

"Hmphn," Maxine said.  "He could have the ER."

"Why have to take off work?" Xander quipped.  Sam came off the elevator.  "Sam!"

Sam looked at him.  "Go sit down so I can look at that injury, Xander.  Right now."  Maxine smiled when Xander groaned but continued his trudge.  Dean came up on the next elevator.  "Get me his first aid kit just in case?"  He followed, shaking his head.  "Pain in my ass," he muttered as he walked.

Dean laughed.  "Sammy's kinda girl like now and then," he told the amused looking officer.  He ducked into ballistics, coming out with the deluxe first aid kit.  Sam was looking at the two open spots.  "Need stitches?"

"I think butterflies should work."  He applied one.  "No, his skin's making it slippery."  He swatted Xander, cleaning it off with alcohol then applying them.  "Why did Dad call?"

"Two demons are here wanting to own him," Maxine said.

"The same two?" Dean asked.

"One, the other's a little mushroom headed demon."  He hissed.  "Sam, that hurts."

"Shut up, Xander."

"Fine."  He let him finish.  "See, I'm okay, Max."

"Uh-huh.  Next time, shoot the asshole non-fatally."  She kissed him on the forehead.  "Get a candy bar on the way up since you're hungry."  She walked off.  Ryan stopped her.  "He's fine.  A few big scratches Sam put butterflies on.  They'll handle the ones who want to own the boy and then it'll be fine."  She smiled.  "Even Sam fussed this time."

"You're going to be a scary, loud mother, Maxine," Ryan told her, getting a cackle back.  "Let me see if I can help."  He found Xander picking out his candy bar.  "Need help?"

"Only if you can make the demons go away."

"I never figured out that trick," he admitted.  Xander spun to look at him.  "Xander."

"Ry?"

"Um-huh.  Ares said they're not supposed to be here."

"Is Dawn still with whatever Draco that was?"

"Yeah, she's fine.  They're kinda happy.  They snark at each other then shop or have sex."  He walked him up there and looked at them, arms crossed over his chest.  "Ares is not happy," he said in the demon tongue his Xander had taught him.  "He said to leave this version of Strife's high priest alone.  You're causing problems along the world matrixes."  They faded out.  He grinned at Horatio.  "No, I'm not your Ryan."

"He comes from the one with the hair," Xander said.

Ryan smiled, patting him gently.  "Behave."

"Am I causing these fluxes?"

"No.  Ares was this time.  The demons are causing them actually.  The higher ups are pissed beyond belief.  Though I might see if Xander can do a temporary wing spell.  They look like they're soft."  Xander blushed, making him smile.  "I'll take that as a yes.  Behave."

"I can put mine away."

"They want you for Sunnydale taint, Xander."  He looked up and disappeared again.  He looked at his Horatio.  "He's a cute, younger Xander.  He's working in ballistics."

"For some reason that doesn't surprise me."

That Ryan walked off happier now that he had done his good deed for the day and made his God happy.

***

The native Horatio looked at Xander.  "At least we know why and all these visits aren't your fault."

"Still kinda sucks.  Though I like the new office decor, Horatio."  He looked at John, then Dean and Sam.  "I'm okay."

One of the demons appeared, sniffing him.  "Hellmouth baby."

"I could've sworn I wore that out."  He turned to look at him, seeing the horrified look.  "Yes, I'm still me.  If I had a sword or my axe I'd prove it."  The demon fled.  "And don't tell them either or else I'll have to destroy both sides!" he yelled, looking up.  He looked at the horrified looking Stetler.  "In my youth I hunted the bad among their kind.  It's why I'm so good now."  He ate another bite of his candy bar.  "So, boss.  Nearly out of backlog."

"Thankfully.  Is the new table top doing all right?"

"Yup.  There's only a few brush ridges and they're just enough to keep things from sliding.  It works really well and I already dropped some acid on it to test.  It won't eat it like it did the glass."  He grinned, giving the boys a hug.  "Can we have lunch?"

"Go ahead."  Xander walked out with them and John.  He smiled at Rick.  "And you thought the boy was what?"

"Insane and now I know he is."  He stood up, looking at his clothes.  "Can't I have mine back?" he complained.  "I can't work in this."  It didn't change.  "Whatever."  He stomped off.

Horatio looked at the bag that suddenly appeared in the middle of the floor.  "I'm not sure if I want to open that or not."  He got up to do that anyway.  Inside was ... nasty.  Very disgusting.  "Speed?" he called.  He came jogging up the stairs.  "Here, take this to the morgue?"

He looked.  "Human hearts."  He put on some gloves, looking at the inside of the bag.  "Seven or eight it looks like."

"That's still disgusting.  Get it out of my office?"

Speed looked around.  "When did you redecorate?"

"When the demon who wanted to own Xander did it."

"Oh, that reason.  Well, at least they fixed the AV window."  He carried the bag off, finding Alexx coming back from her last call.  "Someone gave this to Horatio."

"What is it or do I not want to know?"

"Seven or eight human hearts."

"Where's the rest of them?"

"I have no idea.  We just had something up there to redecorate H's office into an English drawing room and offer Xander money to be owned."

"Huh.  That's a very nasty courting present if it's the same one."  She opened it to look.  "Is that a note?"

"I wasn't going to touch it."  He let her and shuddered.  "Well, that'll please the boy."  He bagged it and walked it up, holding it up so Horatio could see it.  He got a hum and a quick head shake.  He walked it out to where the Winchesters were eating, putting it in front of their ballistics tech.  Xander read and went pale.  "One less thing to worry about, Xander."

"Yeah, I guess.  The bigger price on my head is apparently over with."

"It was in the bottom of the bag with human hearts," Speed said, carrying it off again.  He logged it in.  They'd get the bodies eventually.  Under details he put 'psychotic stalker who wanted Ballistics Tech Winchester as his concubine' and left it there.  No way was he putting demons into the system.

The Many Mystical Mes 16.

Xander walked in the next morning and got a single flower with a note attached.  "Any idea?" he asked the sign in officer.

"No, Winchester.  I thought it might be a girl."

Xander looked at her.  "Most of the girls I've dated would've left body parts."  She shuddered.  He opened the note and groaned, taking it to Speed since he noticed Horatio wasn't in yet.

"I didn't know we were dating," Speed said dryly when Xander tried to give him the flower.

"Read the card, Speed."  He gave him an impatient look.  "My suitor struck again."

He read the card and burst out giggling.  "Oh, where is H?" he muttered, pulling out his phone to text the contents of the card to him.  He grinned.  "Give it to Max for all the fussing she'd do."

"I'm worried she'd be insulted."

"Probably not."

Xander took the flower, leaving him the card, and walked over to DNA.  "I think my suitor mistakenly left this for me.  The card said the fair one should have it."  He kissed her on the cheek and walked off.

"Awww," she said, sniffing the flower.  She found a juice bottle in the trash and filled it with water for her new flower, patting it gently.  She saw Speed with a card.  "Is that the card?"

"Yup.  His suitor gave the lab a donation.  Horatio's going to throw fits later."  He smirked at her.

"Think how I feel," Xander called.  "But hey, no body parts with this one."

"Good point."  He stopped Frank coming in.  "Horatio?"

"I saw him on the drive in.  He stopped to get some coffee I think."  He looked at the card Speed held up.  "Someone wants which one?"

"Xander."

"Aw, crap.  Another price on his head?"

"No.  The last one delivered us eight human hearts.  We think that was the retribution team."  Frank walked off shuddering.  Speed walked down to stop Horatio from getting out of his hummer, holding up the card when he rolled down the window.

Horatio sipped his coffee.  "Did this one come with parts as well?"

"A flower he gave to Valera.  She's going girly over it."

"Is he all right?"

"So far.  Looked a bit freaked out."

Horatio took the card.  "Any idea where this donation might be?"

"No clue."

"I'll call downtown then."  He rolled up the window and made the call from there in case he had to drive off again.  "Sir, Horatio Caine.  Yes, I am calling about that donation.  My ballistics tech got given a card attached to a flower announcing it.  Yes, much nicer than the body parts but we do think it solved some of the people who wanted to kill him."  He listened.  "That's an interesting gift.  What would you like me to do with it, sir?"  He smiled.

"I think we can do that, yes.  I'm sure the lab would like that."  He sipped his coffee.  "We could replace some of the very thin, dangerous glass Miss Boa Vista had them put in with something more sturdy that won't cut someone."  He smiled.  "That would be reasonable.  Let me know, sir.  Just don't agree to sell them my ballistics tech."  He hung up and got out, seeing the expectant look.  "Gold bars," he said quietly, making Speed moan.  "A lot of gold bars appeared in his office as a bribe to consider giving Xander to him.  He has said he's not going to hand him over."

"Does this mean we can get rid of the ugly teeth-like glass things before they cut us all?" Speed asked.

"Possibly."  They walked inside together, him going to brief Xander quickly so he could get back to work.  He found his office still redecorated and sighed, shaking his head.  "He'll yell because my paperwork isn't here," he complained.  A twinkling caught his eye as the room seemed to expand and give him a very old looking, clearly used, executive style desk with all his folders on it and some nice shelving units behind it, plus his computer.  "Thank you," he said.  "You still can't own the boy.  He's not for sale, but I do appreciate the paperwork back."

He sat down and saw it was mostly filled out, in a language he did not know.  "English?" he asked hopefully.  It was changed and he got to work on what needed to be corrected to make it look better.  "Thank you for your help.  You still can't have Xander."  He did wonder if his other self in the life where Xander had all the hair and the hormones had these sort of issues.  A note floated down about what that Horatio had happen to him thanks to knowing Xander.  He shivered and put it into his desk drawer.  Those were some bad thoughts.

***

Xander came home that night, looking at John.  "Gold brick demon struck again.  Gave the Chief twenty of them as a bribe to consider his suit.  One of them filled out Horatio's paperwork for him too."  He hugged Dean and Sam.  "You seemed to disappear for a few days."

"We got waylaid when the radiator blew on a hunt lower in the county," Dean admitted.  "You still creeped out?"

"Kinda, yeah."  John grunted from where he was reading.  "He's not possessed again, right?"

"No.  We checked when he only waved at us."  He let Sam have Xander.  "Dinner?"

"I could eat."

"Max said you forgot lunch," John said, looking at him.

"No, I missed it in case I got given another gift.  People are starting to talk."

"I can understand that.  Dinner's in the fridge, boys."

Xander gave him a hug too.  "Did you find a new hunt?"

"Yup."  He smirked.  "Something's bothering the shopping area you dragged Wolfe to."

"He looks nice."

"I'm sure he does.  Are you two still heading out on payday?"

"Probably."  He grinned.  "It's not like it's a date."  He grinned at Sam.  "We're finally done with the backlog."

"Congrats.  I heard about that.  How good is the overtime?"

"Nearly thirty hours total on this paycheck."  Dean moaned at that, shaking his head.  "It was necessary and that guy's suspended and probably fired.  They've got to get him before the board next week for the misconduct."

"Good," John agreed.  "Go eat, kids."  They settled in to nibble on the food John had made earlier.  He smiled at his boys.  They were playing nicely for a change.  He hoped.  Dean might be planning to prank the other two.

Anya appeared with the head of the demon who wanted Xander.  "You're mine and staying mine.  He can't have you!"

"You can't have him," Dean pointed out.  "You'd lead people to him."

"Not to mention stealing from his bank account again," Sam added.  She sulked.  Xander pulled her down to kiss her.  "But thank you for killing the one who wanted him, Anyanka."

"Why can't I have him back?" she whimpered.  "I miss him."

"Because you'd lead the watchers to him," John said.  "Not to mention that compulsion would make me kill him and you if you two did get together in a permanent way."

"Thank you for protecting me," Xander said gently, smiling at her.  "If I could, I would, Ahn, but I can't.  Or else they'll kill me and the people around me.  I can't do that to these guys or my friends."

"Shoot."  She pouted, handing him the head.  "Can I still protect you?"

"Sure," he agreed with a grin.  "Because I'm kinda creeped out by this bidding war for my butthole."  Sam swatted him.  "They did!"

"Don't care, it's not polite," John told him.  "You can protect him but you can't have him back, Anyanka.  You need to find a nice boy you can have all to yourself."

She disappeared, going to pout at D'Hoffryn, who offered to let her take out the others that wanted the boy.  It would only make him safer and he wouldn't come after them.  Or send the Winchester clan after them.  It was good for business and his wish demons would get more work from this.

***

Xander walked in the next morning wearing very dark sunglasses, heading up to the office since it was open.  "I have a headache and you're about to too."

"Why am I going to have a headache?" he asked, looking up.  "Were you turned?"  He was wearing a black suit and shirt, black socks and shoes, had his hair done.  Maybe it was a funeral?

"No.  I have to appear before a disciplinary committee about this gifting crap because the bank told the Chief.  Which means I need you there as a witness."

"I can do that.  When?"

"Ten.  I got told last night."

"Fine, we can do that."  He looked him over.  "You could have worn something lighter."

"I'm having a bad day, Horatio.  Anya took out all three of them for me."  Horatio moaned at that.  "Who then left me things because by demonic law they had claimed me as their spouse."  Horatio whimpered, shaking his head.  "The black suits my migraine."  He walked off.  "Let me tell the boss."  He leaned into ballistics.  "You won't guess what happened."

"I already heard."  She smiled.  "You'll do fine, Xander.  Don't babble and don't use anything that might be twisted back on you.  Like in a regular testimony time."  He nodded.  "That's a nice suit."  She came over to touch it.  "Cotton?"

"Egyptian cotton," he said with a grin. "Fairly expensive but I got it for a steal because the salesman liked me."  He winked.  "It's at ten so I'll try to be back by lunch."

"I'm sure it'll be fine."  Horatio came down to gather him.  "Will you need me to testify?"

"Probably not," Horatio admitted.  "If so, we'll call for you and Speed."  He walked Xander out, taking him down to the hummer.

"Who died?" Hagen asked.

"It suits my migraine because the ones who wanted me died and left me stuff, and they told the Chief so I'm in trouble," Xander quipped with a short run of his fingers through his hair.  "I'm going to have a breakdown later."

Hagen gave him an awkward shoulder pat.  "You'll be fine.  It's not your fault you got stalked, kid."

Xander looked at him over the top of his sunglasses.  "Have you seen how one of them redecorated Horatio's office on him?"  Hagen shuddered so Xander walked on.  John could peek in later to see if it was that badly done.  "C'mon, Horatio.  Let's go see if we can beat Stetler down this time too."

"You know, he would be a good witness," he said as he started the engine.

"Yeah but then he'd try more shit against me and I'd have to retaliate."  They shared a look and he grinned.  His phone beeped.  "John said hi."

"I'm sure he did."  He backed out of the parking space and headed downtown to the administrative building.  They walked in together.

"Mr. Winchester," the Chief said, staring at him.  "Why did they call me?"

"I have no clue, sir.  No one tells me anything other than they wanted me."  He sat down where Horatio pointed, letting him sit next to him facing the panel.  "All I knew was that those ones wanted me and were pushy. They were pushy back in New York.  They were pushy down here.  One redecorated Horatio's office on him.  One got the broken wall in AV fixed.  No clue other than they liked me for where and when I was born apparently."

"Broken wall?" one of them asked.

"One of the painfully thin glass walls," Xander told her.  "AV Tech Cooper was trying to unstick his door and pulled a bit hard, causing it to shatter.  One of them had it replaced with a better substitute at the same time I bought the new things for our lab, after that one tech decided to destroy it in a girlish hissy fit.  He was caught skipping samples."

"I've heard about that one."  They looked at each other.  "Lieutenant, they redecorated your office?"  He pulled out his camera to show them pictures.

"That's tasteful I suppose," one said, handing the camera on.  "But it doesn't look too office-like or useful."

"My desk is but the couches are a bit slick in the humidity.  They're horsehair, sir.  I'm having them looked at to see if they're reproductions or antiques.  I know at least one of the books he left was a first edition."

"Have we found a way to discourage others from coming?"

"I can't really change where I was born but I'm told my ex-girlfriend is the one who took care of those three and is huffy about anyone trying to take me because she wants me back but it'd be hard with the price on my head."

"Your ex-girlfriend?" one asked, looking confused.

"Yes, Anyanka is my ex-girlfriend.  We were actually engaged when the problem started so I had to break up with her before I ran off."

They stared at each other then at him.  "Do you often date such people, Mr. Winchester?"

"Actually, only she and one other haven't tried to kill me.  One did try to snark me to death and cut my self esteem to shreds, but she didn't physically try to kill me.  Which is why a good portion of the people I know want me to be gay instead of bi."  Horatio coughed.  "Sorry if that was TMI."

"Is she going to stop any further ones?" the Chief asked.  "I did like that donation in gold bars."

"I got some in New York too.  We had to tell them Mac Taylor owned me and he ended up calling in Internal Affairs since they were trying to bribe him to give me up.  Didn't fully work then.  I'm hoping they don't start again later on."

"There's no way you can stop them?" one demanded.

"How do I change my birthday and where I was born and raised?" he asked.  "They think I'm specially gifted thanks to those two facts, ma'am.  Somehow they managed to find out even though I'm on my fourth identity thanks to the death threats against me.  They consider me mystically special or something."

The Chief nodded.  "There's really nothing you can do about that or that they followed you down here after spotting you in New York.  Though I have heard there was movement on one of the contracts?"

"After the idiot tech who destroyed my lab...."  Horatio coughed.  "Sorry, I can put that more politely if I offended someone."  They all shrugged.  "Anyway, he found the people that had the bigger contract on me and wrote them a nice email as Rick Stetler found out."  The board all whimpered.  "Then one of the ones who wanted me kindly gave Horatio a bag of eight human hearts with a note in it saying that this cell was not going to be much of a problem anymore," he finished dryly.  "We've found all the bodies but one so far."

"Could others take it?  Another cell perhaps?"

"They were a splinter of the original group," Xander told them. "I'm still cautious because there's still the first one that caused me to go into hiding, but I'm relatively certain they're not going to come."

"This first one?"

"A group of paranormal researchers from another country want to dissect me thanks to a mistake a friend made.  I did my training after that to start a new life."

The Chief looked at him.  "I'd still like to know why."

"And if you catch me alone without cameras I might tell you but not here, sir.  It's too open and I didn't search for bugs."

"That's a reasonable precaution with what's after you," he said.  "Later on?"

"If my lab isn't backed up because Calleigh's alone, sir."

He smirked at the boy.  "That was a polite smartass remark, son."

"John does try often."

He laughed.  "That's a good try then."  He stared at him.  "How many others might want you?"  Xander shrugged.  "What do you plan on doing with the things that they left you?"

"I don't know.  I know the NYPD IAB captain made me donate half when it happened up there."

"I heard how you dropped it off in his office."

"I figure he had heard the higher ups complaining since he hung out with them, sir."

"Some people do enjoy the politics," he agreed.  "Fine.  Does anyone have anything else we need to know about this strange, difficult situation?"

"You would donate to our widow and orphan's fund?"

Xander pulled out his checkbook, then the other one once he had checked the balance, writing one out there and getting up to hand it to her.  "Of course I do, ma'am."

She looked then stared at him.  "You had money?"

"I was lucky enough to find a running away fund," he said blandly, staring her down.  "In a non illegal manner.  They checked that too when they heard I have money."

"Thank you, Winchester."  The board left to get the bank people.  The Chief came over to help him with Horatio since the boy looked so clueless.

Xander had a sore wrist by the time he was done.  Then he sent it all to John to handle and cackle over.  They went back to work and Xander immediately stripped down to pants and a t-shirt.  Horatio gave it an odd look when he came out of the changing area. "Yes, today is one of those days," Horatio decided.

Xander grinned.  "I know.  John doesn't want me to wear my shirt saying I need minions at work.  He said someone might think I'm recruiting."  Horatio walked off smiling at that.  He walked into ballistics.  "I'm back and magnificent."

Eric was in there and looked at his t-shirt. _Some days, it's not even worth chewing through the restraints._ "Bad meeting?" he guessed.

"Not really.  A lot of papers I didn't want to think about since they left me stuff."  He sat down, looking at Calleigh.  "Do we have work yet?"

"I'm looking at this strange one you found that has no striations."  She looked at his t-shirt then snorted.  "With the morning you had I'm not surprised."

"I sent John all the paperwork from the bank just now."

"He's going to swat you," she pointed out.  Xander nodded.  "Are we sure it's a bullet or something, Xander?"

"The envelope said it came from inside someone's leg.  I'd assume so.  It has marks from being compacted in the air from friction."  He put it up on the big monitor.  "I'm not sure what fired it unless they did like that one case of Mac's and made a homemade barrel with something to hit the firing pin hole."

"What did they use up there?" she asked.

"Steering wheel club."  She gave him the strangest look so he grinned back.  "The adjustable part was smacked into the shell and it fired out the end of it."

"Wow.  They were creative at least."

"Over the teenage girl the victim and old lech was dating.  The guy wanted her.  Now, the shell casing didn't come out, Mac found it in there, but yeah, he used The Club as a gun."

"Huh."  She looked at it.  "It might've been.  It's clearly been shot out of something with the friction marks.  They're not symmetrical so it didn't spin well.  That means it had to be done from close range."  She looked at it.  "Was it the cause of death?"

"A piece broke off and caused a blockage plus the infection was making him go anyway," Eric said.

"Very interesting."

Xander stared.  "Let's play the diameter game.  It couldn't have been too tight to it."  That got a nod and she took a measurement.  "Give it a little bit of room but I'd say the friction marks meant that it had a bump inside.  Some sort of deformity in the tube."  He opened a drawing program to put that up.  "We'd need something to hit the powder, however he packed it.  So fuse tube or hammer."

Suddenly Eric realized what it was from the drawing.  "Fuse tube.  He reused a fireworks container.  I did it when I was younger to make more sparkles and nearly burned my sister's head off.   So he'll have burns."  He went to call around to the hospitals.

"He probably didn't mean to shoot the guy either.  He probably added it as a packing material," Calleigh decided.  She made notes and slipped them inside the envelope and then made notes in the system for the case.  "I'll have to share this one if he's right."

Xander grinned.  "How is your chatting with Bobby out of Las Vegas going?"

"Very good.  He's had a good run of luck with interns."  She looked at him.  "Are you sure?"

"I have some patience.  I can drill things into them.  Plus it'll help when we're backlogged again."  He started a list of how he had done it the last time, letting her see it.  She nodded at that, giving his back a pat.  "We can try.  I won't abuse them even if I did forget some stuff."

"I think we can do that then."  She went to find Horatio.  "Xander and I think he can handle an intern."

"That would be a good thing."  He smiled at her.  "I'll see if there's any coming open this late."

"The Intern convention is next month."

"We haven't gotten any letters of interest."

"We can go anyway.  Put up the notice now.  If anyone asks, we can excuse it as the remodel and the problem with the night shift guy."

"Good point.  Write it out for me."  She did that and handed it over.  "Thank you, ma'am."

"You're welcome."  She smiled.  "We think we figured out that lump of not-a-bullet that got fired.  Eric says he knows how they did it so he's hunting them down."

"Good."  She smiled and left.  He sent that notice to the usual places and they'd hopefully get at least a good intern this year.  He doubted Xander would put up with a slacking one.

"Aww, you took off the suit," Maxine's voice said from downstairs.

"Horatio asked me if I was turned."

"Good point."  She smiled.  "Lunch?"

"I just got back."

"Poo."  She laughed when he apparently kissed her on the cheek.  He heard the quiet kiss.  "Fine.  You remember to eat something this afternoon.  You're losing weight."

"No, my pants were tight this morning.  I think I'm getting middle aged butt spread."

"You're not that old."

"It's the wear and tear from the mileage.  I need to hit the gym again."  She walked off laughing.  "Calleigh, does my butt look big in these jeans?"

"I don't ask others that, Xander, and I don't answer it when I'm asked.  There's no polite answer."

Horatio got up to close his office door.  It was good to have the boy back in a playful mood again.

***

John took the package from the courier, tipping him so he could close the door.  He stared at the formal note on top.  "Fuck," he growled.  Dean and Sam both hopped up and reached for weapons.  "Not an attack, boys."  He tossed it at Sam.  "Make that make sense."

Sam sat down to open the envelope, looking at what was in there.  "Um, Dad, does this say that his suitors left him things?"

"Apparently."

Sam read the legal notices and sighed, shaking his head as he got into the other forms.  "Xander's got to be wearing a bad t-shirt."

"How bad?" Dean asked.

"We can buy Canada I think."  He looked at his older brother, getting a horrified look.  He pointed at a line.  "That's what *one* left him."

"Damn," Dean said in awe.

"Basically."  He went back to it.  "This is..."  He texted Xander, getting an 'I'm fine but kinda depressed and I need to hit the gym again' response.  "The gym?"

"Xander said his pants were tight this morning.  He said he was starting to have a sagging ass," Dean told him.

"Huh."  He went back to reading.  "So, Dad, now that Xander has a lot of money...."

"He did before," he reminded him.

"No, Dad, we're talking mega money now."

"He still did before," John told him.

Sam looked up.  "Dad, before he had Lottery winner level of money.  Now he has can buy a city money."  His father moaned so he found the lists of what was left to him, coming over to show him.  John went to get a beer.

"All he needs is someone to spoil," Dean said casually.  "He'd be a happy boy then."

"Cute hint.  Not," Sam shot back.  "It's stress relief, Dean.  Or else I wouldn't have nearly had him on the hood of the car."

"You'd better not," Dean and John said in unison.

"That night we saw him blowing off stress," Sam said with a grin.  "The bouncer stopped me or you'd have come out to find him gasping into the paint job."

Dean shivered.  "Not on my car.  The only one who gets action in my car is me, Sammy."

"Since when do you get any action in the car?" Sam shot back.  "You haven't been laid in months."

Dean rolled his eyes.  "I was trying to wait for something better than mediocre.  Usually you say I'm a slut.  Now you're complaining because I'm not?"

"Wondering if you needed to visit the doctor again," Sam teased.

"Nope.  Got resnipped and everything's great again."

"Do I even want to know?" John asked.  He took a longer drink of his beer.

"Way back when I had the 'bunny died' scare in high school I got myself snipped.  It grew back so I had it redone," Dean told him.  "With Xander's help.  Therefore, no baby Winchesters."

John shuddered.  "That's a good thing, son, but I'm going to beat you someday soon."

"You'd rather he knocked up a waitress he only slept with for a few hours?" Sam asked.

"No."  He went to his room to lay down.  "Go do something somewhere else."

They headed off together, going to see if anyone was on the beach today.  It was a bit chilly with the wind blowing so they weren't sure there'd be any of the really skimpy ones out today.  They did find a beach volleyball match and settled in to watch the girls bounce..er play.

***

Xander walked in that night and found John still drinking.  "That's why I sent it to you, so I wouldn't do that at work."  He gave him a hug.  "Am I ordering dinner?"

"Accounts are all locked while they merge them."

"I wrote a check today."

"The bank got it already and honored it."  He looked at him.  "We've got to stop this."

"I think that was Anya's point, John."  He got smirked at.  "So anyway, I do have my newly cashed paycheck, with overtime."

"You're supposed to go play with Ryan tonight."

"He was out of the lab when I left.  I forgot."  He called him.  "It's me.  Are we going to have fun tonight or are you going to be all night at the lab?"  He laughed.  "I can do that.  Home.  Thanks, Ry."  He hung up and sat down, looking at him.  "How long are they locked for?"

"They might be open already.  It's nice the demon courts run at an accelerated pace."

"Very."

"Did you know you now own a realm castle?"

"Really?  Huh.  Can Dawn get there?"

"Probably."

"Then we can visit her to make sure Draco knows I'll kill him if he hurts her and I can be more creative and worse than any Dark Lord."  John bopped him on th head.  "Sorry but truth.  She's like my little sister.  I should get to threaten her man."

"Give it to Buffy so she can check on her."

"I might do that."  He took the papers to look over.  "Yeah, I can do that."  Anya appeared, staring at him.  "I'm being good.  Mostly."

She snorted.  "Of course you are."

"How would I give some of this to Buffy?"

She wrote it out and handed it to him.   He put what he wanted to transfer, making Anya huff but rewrite it.   He added one thing then his signature, earning a smile.  "Why are you giving her that?"

"So she can go nag Dawnie and her new boyfriend.  Her text earlier said they finally wore her down and Draco's great in bed."

She giggled.  "I'll tell her you said that."  She kissed him on the forehead.  "I still miss you."

"I miss you too.  No one cuddles me all night like you did, Ahn.   I still can't take the chance with the Council."

"I know."  She grinned.  "It is nice that thanks to this business has really picked up.   Demons are spotting kids like you and calling Hallie all the time to get them help before they turn into you."  John cackled at that.  "I've even helped some who're trouble and demon magnets make wishes to end it so they don't end up like you."  She ruffled his hair.  "Get a haircut.  You look goofy with longer hair."

"One of them had hair down to his waist."

"No.  Sorry but no."   She took the letter to the judge over the wills, letting him sign it.  "That way she can visit her sister since she found a honey in another dimension."

"I didn't think he'd want it anyway."  He waved a hand so she left.

"Buffy!" Anya called as she appeared.  "I've got something for you and Giles."  She skipped up to the office, handing it to him.  Buffy strolled in eating an apple.  "Dawn's been worn down by her honey.  They're getting married and she said he's good in bed so she doesn't have to train him a whole lot.  Which I suppose is good for her."

Buffy paused in taking a bite, nearly dropping the apple.  "Excuse me?  My sister is *what* and I haven't heard?"

"Xander said she texted earlier."

Buffy checked the phone in her pocket.  "Huh, I didn't get one.  I've got to beat me some Dawnie butt.  Where is she?"

"Xander gave you that so you can both get there to visit."  She beamed proudly.  "The demon suitors I killed left it to him but he didn't need a realm castle."  She smiled at Giles.  "Also, we've had a *huge* upswing in business.  There's all sorts of demons pointing kids out to Hallie so they don't become a Xander in the future."  He spluttered.  "And a few I've helped because they're demon magnets too."  She smiled at Buffy.  "You'll need to do some shopping.  That means you get the title so now you're Baroness Buffy of the Demon Realm Vokarait.  I'll let Dawn know so she can get there at the same time you are."  She disappeared to do that.  "Hi!"  Dawn squeaked and jumped.  "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt snuggles but Xander gave Buffy his realm castle so she could get you up to visit.  She said you forgot to tell her that he was good in bed and other less important things like getting married.  So now she's the Baroness Buffy of the Demon Realm Vokarait."

"I'll make sure she can get up there to visit her sister," Draco told her.  Thankfully they were at least covered by a sheet or he might be very embarrassed right now.

"Good.  Because hearing you were good in bed even stopped her from eating."  She smiled.  "The demons are making sure no other Xanders are ever created.  I'm taking care of trouble magnets so they don't turn into him, mostly because I don't think I can date more than one and take out all their demon suitors for bothering my snuggly pookie with the good tongue, and Hallie's had to get a new helper."

"Tell her I said congrats.  It's always good for the world when kids aren't hurt that way."

"True."  She leaned down to kiss him on the head.  "You should show him that tongue thing Xander learned.  That way he can do it to you and you can be as happy as I was with a tongue of doom."

"He's already really good in that area, Anya.  Tell Buffy I'll be there in a few days?"  She nodded and disappeared.  She looked at Draco.  "What do you wear to a demon realm?"

"Formal clothes I'd expect.  We'll find you some nice dress robes, Dawn."  He kissed her.  "I hope you don't want to go back to what we were doing.  I seem to have been horrified too much."  She laughed and got under the covers to encourage him to come back up, making him moan.  "Merlin, woman, you're better than any I've had at that."  He pulled her up to please her again.  She was his perfect mate: powerful, a bit sarcastic, playful, fashionable, and liked to do both their hairs and clothes with him.

***

Xander looked at his phone as it beeped unexpectedly.  "I haven't been thinking evil thoughts," he muttered, pulling it out to look while Ryan giggled at that.  'Out hunting, be back soon' was on his screen.  He typed in an okay and he had his keys.  "John's going out."  He put it up again, sipping his soda.  "I still say you should hit on the pretty blonde girl that's giving your butt eye action, Ryan.  She's clearly not my type."

"She'd dump me as soon as she found out I was OCD."

"You don't know that.  She might be OCD.  She's clearly wiping her palm off each time she touches her glass."  Ryan glanced back and smiled, getting one back.  "Go.  Shoo.  I'll be here drawing the evil ones like her redheaded friend."

Ryan walked over there.  "Hi, Ryan Wolfe."

"Amanda Doris."  She didn't shake his hand.  "Sorry, the glass is sweaty and stuff."

"That's fine."  He grinned.  "What do you do?  I'm an officer with the crime lab."

She smiled.  "That's very cool.  I'm a bank teller."

"Wow.  So you get to see interesting people who aren't doing bad things most of the time?"

"Now and then we do get some really strange people," she agreed, wiping her hand on her skirt again.

"Would you maybe like to dance a bit?"

"Okay."  She left her drink there and walked out with him.  "What do you do with the crime lab?"

"I'm a field tech.  I go out to gather evidence at scenes."

"That's got to be exciting."

"Now and then but it's usually a bad day when it is," he said with a self-conscious grin.  "Usually it's just a lot of nasty stuff."  She wiped her hands off again.  "I understand.  I'm a bit OCD too," he said quietly, making her beam.  They moved onto the floor, getting together and talking.  She was sweet.  Xander had been right, definitely not his type.

Xander smiled at the redhead who strolled over.  "Hi."

"I see your friend took off with my friend to wiggle on the dance floor.  Want to join them?"

"I don't have much rhythm but I'll sure try," he offered with a grin.  She smiled and took him out there, making him have some fun.  She moaned and moved closer so he smirked and nodded.  "Let me shift back a bit.  You're about to get bumped."  He pulled her back into a more clear spot, incidentally in view of the cameras again, and they went back to it.  He wasn't *bad* but he hadn't danced in a while.  She didn't seem to mind much.  She was incredibly happy and was trying to gnaw on his throat.  "We're not in a goth club," he teased.  She moaned and moved closer.  He let her until she really bit him then he got free and stared at her.  "I like you.  We should go talk."  She walked him off.  He texted something to someone.  "Telling my housemate I'll be home really late or tomorrow after work," he said at her pointed look.  She pulled him out of there.  He turned on the recording feature his phone had.  He knew he'd need evidence.  She took him home, got down with him, and grabbed a knife.  "You know, it's not polite to try to stab a guy you haven't even slept with."

"All gay men should be sacrificed so women don't have to deal with them."

He laughed.  "I'm bi and my last girlfriend still begs to have me back, baby."  He flipped her over, taking the knife from her to toss off to the side of the bed.  She shrieked but he stroked her in just the right spot, making her moan and wiggle.  "Still think I'm gay?"

"No!" she whined.  "No more!"

"If you want."  He pulled back and got dressed.  "C'mon, I'll take you to someone you'll want to meet."

"Really?"

"Yeah.  I know a few guys who'd like to meet you."  She got dressed again.  He grabbed the knife, putting it into a plastic bag she had kept it in.  On the way he called.  "Frank, Xander.  I've got someone you and John *have* to meet.  Yeah, like really have to.  Because she has a thing for bi guys she wants to make beg."  Frank said something and he laughed.  "Exactly, Frank.  Where should we meet you two so she can show you what she's got?"  He nodded at the address.  "Give us twenty.  I'm driving her now."  He hung up and got in, smiling at her.  "Frank's a really sweet guy.  Gave up his wife to go out with John.  I think they'd suit you better."

She moaned, stretching her legs out.  "Most guys are turned off by me."

"I'm strange.  I only like the deadly things," he said with a wink.  She beamed at him, playing with his thigh on the way there.  He got out and nodded at John, handing her the bag.  "There you go, sweetie.  This is John and that's Frank.  They're very nice boys who like to hang out together all too often."  She pulled out the knife and went at Frank since he looked less dangerous.  John got her down and cuffed, giving him an odd look.  "I had to refute she didn't want to stab me, John.  You know I only like the deadly ones."  He handed Frank his phone.  "I had it on record."

Frank checked, turning it off.  "Thanks, kid.  Find any shrines or anything?"

"Nope.  Kinda walked in and headed right to the bedroom though.  I was a good boy too.  When I had to prove I was het and she said stop, I did."

"Good."  John hauled her up.  "Thanks, kid.  My stats were looking a bit low."

Xander just grinned.  "Have fun, dear.  I'll tell Ryan to tell your friend you're okay."  He waved.

"Who are you?" she asked, struggling.  "I still say you're gay."

"Bi but I'm the crime lab's ballistics tech.  I play with guns all day.  Maybe that's why?"  She pouted all the way to their car.  "Remember, confessing means you get to have more fun in the jail.  Otherwise they'll put you away from everyone."  He looked at Frank.  "See, I do give you good presents, Frank."

"Go get laid or whatever, kid.  You're warped again."

"Well, yeah, but my last ex just got all those suitors who wanted me.  So I inherited."  Frank gave him a horrified look.  "What?  She never tried to hurt me.  It was a nice change."   He grinned sweetly.

"I don't care who you pounce, but go buy someone if you have to," Frank ordered with a point.  "If you get caught, we'll cover for you."

"Yes, sir."  He got back into his car and headed off to find a hooker.  Since he had been ordered and all.  The voices were complaining that he was scouting a female one so he decided on twins since they were so loud.  They all groaned but it was nice.  They got tired.  He got tired.  He got to work the next morning, finding Ryan pacing.  "You might tell your new friend her friend is all right but I didn't want to let her stab me so I introduced her to Frank and John."

"Frank and John?" he asked, looking confused.

"Detectives Tripp and Hagen?"

"Oh, them."  He shook off his confused look.  "What?"

"She wanted to kill gay men so they wouldn't get confused with straight ones in the clubs.  I proved I was bi but mostly het but I told her I knew a few bi boys who would like her and her ways.  So I introduced her.  She went after Frank with a knife."

Ryan shook his head quickly.  "You're insane, Xander."

"Not now.  Frank told me to go buy a playmate.  I had fun with the girls."  He walked off.

"Harris, your uncle said he's going to shoot you," Frank said when he saw him.  He tossed over his phone.

"He knew I had evil thoughts and two girls."  He shrugged at the horrified look.  "They were fun."  He texted back to him what had happened, getting a growl back.  "It's cool again."  He pulled out his lab coat, new clothes, and glasses, going to change into Ballistics Xander instead of Club Boy Xander.  He looked really geeky with the glasses.  He closed and locked his locker then headed for ballistics.  "Morning, my beauties," he called into the exemplar.

"Did whoever you picked up last night play nicely?" Calleigh asked from her seat going over the daily flood of administrative memos.

"The first one ended up playing nicely with Frank and John.  Then Frank told me to go rent some unwarping time.  They were very helpful."  She blushed, staring at him in horror.  "She hit on me."

"Evil?" she asked cautiously.

"Only to gay men who confused her het guy radar."

"Huh," she said weakly, calling John.  "Is Xander going to be okay?  And are you since he said you played with the one who picked him up?"  She listened to the complete story, then moaned and swatted at him.  "Good work, John.  Have fun and call if you need CSI support for her house or wherever."  She hung up and swatted at him again, just getting a grin.  "You rented more than one?"

"Two.  I only go there for special occasions.  Or a pack of succuba," he admitted, thinking about it.  "But they spread that I made them too sore to work so most of them won't play with me anymore."

"I don't need to know that!" she complained.

He grinned.  "You asked."

"Good point.  I'll quit asking about your dates from now on.  Well, was Ryan a nice one?"

"We were out as buddies, Calleigh.  I don't think he'd play with me that way.  He did dance with a nice girl who might've had OCD at the club.  It was her friend that picked me up."

Ryan walked in shaking his head.  "I know you said she was evil, Xander, but really!"

"How was your OCD girl?"

"She was very sweet and a bank teller.  We have a date next weekend."  Xander grinned.   "Why are they drawn to you?"

"I've never figured out why dangerous women are drawn to me.  Calleigh, any idea?"

"I'm not that dangerous.  I only think you're sweet and goofy, Xander."

"Only to boys who underestimate you," he countered with a grin.  "And to John's mind."

She blushed, swatting him again.  "Behave."

"Fine, make me behave when I'm in a good mood."  He grinned at Ryan.  "I don't know, ask Max.  Max?" he called.  She leaned in a moment later.  "Ryan wanted to know why bad girls are attracted to me."

"It's that air of you'll make them beg so they're testing themselves against the new predator."  She grinned.  "I heard on the scanner that Tripp and Hagen had to call for a house search.  Picked up someone in the club?"  Someone behind her moaned.

"Yeah.  She decided I put off a gay vibe and it confused her het'dar.  She was taking out all the guys who confused her het'dar.  I proved I was mostly het, and she said stop so I did, but I told her I'd introduce her to two guys who liked to hang out a bit too much.  She decided it was good and tried to attack Tripp with her special dagger."

She shook her head.  "I can't fix you up with anyone, Xander.  They'll finish going from wicked to evil."  She came in to look him over.  "Long night with her?"

"Frank ordered me to go find some attention to unwarp me."  He grinned sweetly.  "They were nice."

"You stud you," she teased, pinching his cheek.  "I'll see if I can find you evil ones who don't want to kill you or anyone else."  She left, going back to her lab.

"I only know good girls, sorry," Calleigh said.  "Did you tell Horatio?"

"Only if that choking in the hallway was him or Frank told him."

Ryan looked up the hall.  "No, that was Eric.  He's off ranting at Speed up the hall."  Calleigh went to tell Horatio.  "Did you have fun?"

"Afterward.  They were fun."

Ryan patted him on the arm.  "That's good then.  I'll see if I know any slightly evil girls who won't want to kill you too, Xander."  He left, going back up to trace.  "Who got the call out to her house?"

"No one yet," Speed said.  "Repeat after me.  Friends don't let friends date Xander."

"It was the girl I was dancing with's friend, Speed.  And he said she was evil."

"Uh-huh."  He shook his head.  "Tell Max that new rule?"

"She's looking for wicked ones that don't want to kill him."

"I'm not sure she'll find one," Speed admitted, looking up at the office.  "Poor H's headache."

"Calleigh went to tell him.  And hey, the ones Frank told him to go rent aren't evil."

"That we know of," Eric corrected.  "We should watch out for that."

"Enough, boys," Horatio said as he walked in.  "Xander is not the only officer we've had do this.  We have one in the translator corps who does the same thing.  That's how Frank knew what was going on.  I do agree we might watch out for the two he rented for a few hours going evil today."  Eric smirked at Speed.  "Though, Xander has said he's bi many times so perhaps you could fix him up that way?"

"I know a few," Speed agreed.  "I'll see if they'd like our gun geek."

"Thank you.  No more spreading this story around.  I know he won't tell anyone else."  He went to ballistics.  "Xander, it's still illegal for you to ...rent someone for a few hours.  You can't say things like that at work."

"Sorry, boss."

"Thank you."  He patted him on the back.  "Nice work calling Frank and John for backup."  He left, going to take something for his headache.  Rick Stetler stomped in with an evil smirk and a charge sheet.  He called up a file, tipping the monitor so he could see it.  "The one he went out with last night, Rick.  Of course he did that."

Rick read, going pale.  "How?" he demanded in a squeaky voice.

"He said she picked him up in the club he and Ryan Wolfe were spending some downtime in.  One of the responding officers made it an order, Rick.  Before he caught another one for us."

Rick tore up the sheet.  "It's probably safer for him and everyone," he muttered, walking out sulking now.

Horatio smiled, looking at the charges.  He called Frank himself.  "I heard you got given a nice present last night."  Frank moaned.  "He's here.  He's fine.  He's bouncy today and even Rick agreed there wasn't a problem with the order you gave him, Frank.  He decided it was safer.  Did you need CSI support?"  He smirked. "I'm sure night shift was thrilled with that.  If you're sure.  Thank you, Frank."  He hung up, smiling at his phone.  Another win for the good guys thanks to their very odd tech's unique skills.  Some days Xander drove him nuts but he did appreciate the boy to no end.  Miami was not boring even on the best of days any longer.  He heard a gunshot and got up as a voice floated up.

"Gotcha, bastard.  Next time don't try to pounce me and then kill me."

Horatio out to look down at him.  "Problems, Xander?"

"He wanted to kill me, boss.  So I got him in a non-fatal spot, just like Max ordered."  He nodded, heading back to ballistics.  "Ask him which contract he wanted the money from."

Horatio came down to glare at the young officer.  "Who are you and why were you trying to get my ballistics tech?"

"They want him!  They'll pay me millions!" he moaned, trying to get away.  Officers came running.  "Please!  I'll split it!"

"Get him out of my sight, boys.  He wants to get the bounty for my ballistics tech."

"Pity the time he'll have in prison, sir.  Tell him nice shot," one said, hauling him up to cuff him.  "Let's go, you stupid moron."  They walked him off to book him.

Horatio looked in the ballistics lab.  "Was that a test fire?"

"No, that's my baby's discharge, Horatio.  He's very sorry he was so stupid."

"I'm sure he will be soon.  Statement?"  He went to handle this one before Rick could jump on them.  Some days, Xander just drove you nuts, even when you were pleased with him.

The End!

Table of Contents

The Many Mystical Mes 1. 2

The Many Mystical Mes 2. 24

The Many Mystical Mes 3. 45

The Many Mystical Mes 4. 61

The Many Mystical Mes 5. 81

The Many Mystical Mes 6. 110

The Many Mystical Mes 7. 152

The Many Mystical Mes 8. 167

The Many Mystical Mes 9. 179

The Many Mystical Mes 10. 203

The Many Mystical Mes 11. 217

The Many Mystical Mes 12. 233

The Many Mystical Mes 13. 249

The Many Mystical Mes 14. 265

The Many Mystical Mes 15. 287

The Many Mystical Mes 16. 312