THE INCIDENCES OF THE BLIPPY DOHICKEY

ARC 2 & 3

Voracity

Xander gets a blippy dohickey that changes his life and a lot of other people's too.  You never know where or how a Xander will show up in the universes, but he's there somewhere.

What started as a very long story ended up being a multi-arc series of shorter stories which kept going even after the first was done with.  It may be an immortal universe, one never knows with the Doctor around.

Crossover with Stargate/Atlantis, Dr. Who/Torchwood.

Table of Contents

Arc 2

1: The Tale Of The Wires

2: When Good Fairies Go Bad

3: Mentally Cracked Vacations

4: Strategic Maneuvers

5: Allies And Friends

6: New Geek Day

7: A Very Xanderish Thing To Do

8: Days In The Life Of Leisure

9: A Week Of Reveals

10: New Commands Settling In

11: Siblings

Arc 3

1: Location Errors

2: Differing Realities And Orbits

3: Alive And Kicking

Arc 2

1: The Tale Of The Wires

"Well, what about the Sentinel then?" Xander asked.  "It could happen."

"Not with all five senses," Rodney complained, giving him a dirty look.  "It'd be too much neural input unless they were nearly ascended."

"There's people with one or two heightened senses," Xander pointed out.

"Yes and a lot of them go insane," Rodney shot back, going back to trying to find the glitch in Nila's wiring.  This current one.  They had been working at this problem for hours and were talking about sci-fi things that might be reality.

"You don't know that for certain," Radek noted.  "Many of them are hired by companies where smell is more important.  Like cologne makers."

"Yes, well, those freaks of nature still don't end up being totally *normal*, now do they?" he asked dryly.

"Ha!  That's supposition, not fact," Xander crowed.  "You'd have to look it up to say for sure."  He ducked a zap over his head, which was why they were down there.

Rodney glared at him.  "I know there's been at least one."

"One case does not make a whole research paper," he crowed, beaming at him.  He ducked another zap.  "Okay, any idea?  Because I'm about to say that everyone can go without hot water for the next two days as well as all the other stuff until we can rewire this whole section."

"It's miles of wire, Xander, don't be ridiculous," Radek complained.  "Would take weeks."

"We've been down here for three hours and still can't find the problem," Xander complained.

Rodney smirked at Radek.  "You should tell him about the week and a half you spent looking for a single short in a tube on Atlantis our first year."

"You could have switched me out," he complained.

Xander looked at them.  "I knew it was that first year up there that caused your insanity, both of yours."  Another zap and this time Radek had to duck.  Xander felt the charge building too fast and put up a shield around them.

Radek cleared his throat.  "Xander, you are not that sort of immortal," he complained, pulling him into the shield.  "When you make one, you have to be *inside* to protect yourself as well.  Or else we will think you are suicidal and put you on drugs that make you goofy."

Rodney took the shortcut to the 'are you suicidal' talk and just smacked him with his tablet PC.  "Stop doing that before I have to give Radek grief leave."  He grumbled but the zapping was getting heavier.  He found the right plans again and looked it over, then hummed.  "This isn't right."

Xander looked and turned it upside down.  "Whoever put that in there did it upside down.  We've found that a few times."

Rodney sighed and they finally found the area.  "This is not a good split.  It could cut off the power supply to the inertia dampeners and the floatation engines as well as the hot water."

"Nila, please fire any thrusters needed to keep afloat," Xander ordered.  "It's going to take us a bit to fix this."  Another zap.  "And see if you can figure that problem out please?"

"My creator let that problem go on, Xander," she reported, appearing in the shield with them.  "I do not know what causes it but I did warn you it was going to happen."

"You did.  Thank you for that," Radek said with a smile.  "We have found the bad wire."

"Wonderful!"  She disappeared, making an announcement that the hot water was going to be going off for a few hours while a repair was made.  Everyone else groaned but oh well.  They'd hate sinking more she was sure.  She did fire her thrusters when her backside started to sink.  That helped.  Xander ordered her to fire the others and actually hover a bit.  That worked better and didn't hurt the dock any, though she had disconnected from them just in case.  It would be a shame to sink all those labs.

Radek and Rodney got the power diverted while Xander rewired that spot.  Which immediately blew.  "I think we need to hit Radio Shack for better wire."

Radek huffed.   "That should only be getting that much power," he complained.

Rodney checked.  "It's in overload, which is probably what's causing the zapping."  They walked up the corridor to find that problem's start.  They had to fix it first apparently.  They found where the static discharge was originating and shut it down.  All of Nila went dark.  "Hmm."  He and Radek got into it, rerouting the power through another node.  That helped and she came back up.  He and Xander got that node dismantled and Radek got the stuff they'd need to repair it sent over from Atlantis.  "I see another of my minions miscoded," Rodney said dryly.

"That was done by one of the Ancients," Radek reminded him.  "Not one of us."

Rodney looked at him.  "Even worse.  They were supposed to be smarter than this."

"Apparently they had brainless minions too?" Xander quipped.  He felt the air charging.  "Guys, we've got another one coming and it feels huge."  They backed off and Xander created a shield over all of them.  The discharge fried most of the wires.  "Well, I was right.  We'll have to rewire this whole section," he sighed.  Radek pinched him, hard.  "Ow!"

"Shut up, Xander."

Rodney looked around at the damage then shook his head.  "Radek, get Miko to get us wire.  Now.  Before she goes dark and we sink without a shield."  He nodded, jogging off to get her to do that.  He stared at the young man.  "If you had gotten hit by one of those discharges, he would've been devastated when you died," he said quietly.  "Quit being so noble.  There's nothing wrong with protecting your own ass when necessary."

"I didn't think about it."

"Clearly.  Next time, put yourself inside the shield until you know if you need to leave it and kick butt."

"Yes, Rodney."

"Thank you.  I don't want to lose Radek to something like grief."  He stared the boy down.  "And we'd probably miss you too."  A zap happened near him.  "Nila, are you still all right?"  Another zap.  "I'm guessing that's a no."

Xander sighed and took wire with him to start at the beginning and rewire the whole corridor.  "We need industrial wire, not pretty wire."

"He's getting us some."

"Power line wire?"

"I hope so."  Radek came down with two Marines that knew electronics, and all his current minions.  Miko followed with the soldering gear.  "That'll help.  Start up there and work our way down.  Radek and I will take the more delicate node."  They got to work and Xander kept shielding them from zaps.  Radek swatted him when he nearly got hit and didn't shield himself.  Xander gave him a confused look.  "This time it's unconscious, Radek.  We'll break that habit," Rodney assured him.  The boy blushed and got back to work but made shields around everyone's backs.  Within an hour the corridor was done down to the node and they were out of wire.  Miko radioed out to check on the rest.  That was coming.  She got to work on the node with them from the back side.  It was a tiny space and only she fit.

Evan came down with a flashlight.  "Guys, we're nearly fully dark," he complained.  "How much longer?"

"Depends, go get us more wire," Radek said.  "And a new node."

"The node just got beamed over with a few more of the minions, but I was sent to warn you that Kavanagh is somehow still employed," he said dryly.

"Good, he can wire further on," Xander said.  "I'll take that too."  Evan called and they brought it down.  "Solder?" he asked.  Someone held up those rolls.  "Good.  Guys, we need to finish rewiring from the node down.  They used highly too light wire.  It's been zapping on and off so be careful."  They nodded and got to work.  He smiled at Evan.  "Can we have a snack?"

"If you can keep us from sinking again, I'll make dinner," he offered.  Xander beamed.  "And I did get that new game."  Xander hugged him and bounced down to get to work.

Rodney looked over.  "Make it breakfast.  It's going to be hours."

"Nila's retreated to the docking station and she said she's got about an hour of thruster use left.  They're all starting to splutter."

"Crap!" he muttered.  "Work faster but better," he called. "We'll be flooded within an hour."  They got back to work.  "Radek, go check the thrusters."  He nodded, taking some supplies with him to do that.  "Usually, Nila isn't this sort of problem," he quipped. "Ow!"  Xander looked up.  "It just bit me."

"I'll bite it back."  He got back to work stringing wire.

"How do you know how to do that?" one of the minions asked.

Xander grinned.  "I worked construction before I went to the main base.  This is a lot more open and easier than wiring inside a wall you can't tear out."  That got a nod of understanding and they finished that section, moving down.  "Top section's in," he reported.  Kavanagh and a few others connected the parts.  Xander got back to it.  "Shit, zap coming," he announced and shielded them all.  It nearly hit Miko.  She gave him a weak smile and they got back to work.  "Okay," he decided.  He ran it through another space.  "These openings are too sharp to normally hold wire," he noted.

"They didn't originally," Rodney agreed.  "They had brackets that fell apart.  So we're making due.  We'll coat them with insulation later."

"Okay."  Xander kept going, laying the wire in another section so it could be completed.  "Make sure they're soldered together really good, guys.  This is not only our hot water but our floating abilities.  If we sink, I'm bringing you all back here."  They snorted.

Rodney looked over.  "Yes he will, at my authority," he promised.  They got back to work.  He came over to check the connection jobs.  "That's weak," he noted.  "It won't hold up to full power going through it."  He changed places with Xander and one of the Marines then let Kavanagh route wire while Xander soldered.  He knew how important it was.  That worked better.

"I could have," Kavanagh complained.

Xander grabbed him by his collar and pulled him over to look at something.  "That's fully connected, Kavanagh.  If you leave it the way you were, we'd be sinking at the first power surge.  It took us three hours to find the first break and then the zap took out the rest.  So no, you're not.  You might have been able to, but you're not.  Work up to your potential."  He let him go and got back to work.  Rodney was smirking at him but oh well.  So was Miko.  They'd probably let him spank the idiot later.  He got the next few connected and it was better.  "Rodney, will this hold?" he asked.

He looked.  "Yes.  Household merging techniques will work."  He nodded and got back to work.  "Kavanagh, we have half an hour to get the rest of this corridor going," he reminded him since he was pouting.  Unless you brought scuba gear?"  He shook his head and got to work faster.

"Rodney, he's actually tying the lines together so they're not being cut by the frames.  Let that go for now," Xander said quietly.  "That's not a bad idea and I'd have to go back to do it anyway."  Rodney grimaced but nodded.  "Kavanagh, go back to tie off.  For now just get it into place so we can solder."  He nodded, doing that.  He went back to connecting.  Radek came back grumbling.  "Radek, help."  He came over to get more of the connection points.  "Will we have enough?"

"For everything but the last section," one of the Marines estimated.  Miko called out and Xander had to shield her when her comm usage got her zapped.  "Shit," he said in awe.

"Yeah," Xander agreed.  "Miko?"

"I'm okay.  Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome."  He finished up on his last section and moved to the new one, looking it over.  "Rodney, how's the node?"

"Halfway."

"Reroute that last part," he ordered Kavanagh.  "We'll never get it done in time and we need the thrusters and floating abilities back."  He nodded, moving to bridge around the undone section.  Radek looked then sighed and nodded, going back to working on the node.  Xander took over Radek's soldering position and it was better.  "Reroute this last section too," he ordered quietly. "Bridge or whatever."  They did that and Rodney got it done just as water started to flow in.  The node was restarted and the bridge around it removed.  The city lurched a bit then settled in at a slight angle.  "We need more wire to finish these last two parts," he called.

"Coming," Evan called.  He brought down more wire and they got it fixed.  As more got put together, the city slowly leveled out.  Rodney and Radek came down to recheck the connections, adding another layer of sealing to it.  Then they got insulation around them.   He stepped back to watch them work. "Nila?" he called.  She appeared, looking weaker than usual.  "Are you power drained?"

"The thrusters still aren't working right."

"If we're able to float, turn them off," Rodney ordered.  She sighed in pleasure as she did that.  "Are we steady?"  The city went back to fully level.  She nodded.  "Good.  Thank you.  We'll work on that problem next."

"Since they decided they probably weren't going to use her for long they put in the weaker wires," Xander told her.  "We're going to be wiring for weeks."  She patted him and left them alone.  He looked at Evan.  "Really."

"I know.  We've got more coming for the other sixteen conduits like this one."

"If all that's routed through here, what do the others do?" Kavanagh asked.

"Backup, and a few do power supply for the spires," Rodney told him.  "We'll start with the more important then do the backup ones."  They all nodded and finished up that corridor.  They checked the surrounding ones.  Not as bad as this one.  Rodney took readings at various points and went back with the crew, taking the used rolls and the empties with them.  The rest had been carted up by the Marines Evan had called.  Rodney flopped down, gratefully sipping at his military grade cup of caffeinated sludge.  Jack was staring at him.  He sent down his reports.  "If the others are that weak, we're going to be rewiring for months.  Atlantis has whole corridors like that but we could move around them."  He took another drink.  Xander flopped down next to him, Radek on his other side.

"Nila?" Radek asked.  She appeared, looking more solid again.  "Can you assess your own wiring?  How many are as strong as what we just put in?"

She did that self-check and printed out a report.  "Is that what you needed?"

Xander smiled when he nodded.  "Thank you," Radek agreed.  "It will help us know where to start with the rewiring."

She beamed at him.  "The hot water.  People are complaining."

Xander looked at the report and groaned, going to turn that section back on.  Radek pushed him into his chair and went to do it for him.  "Okay," he decided.  She beamed him a soda.  "Thanks, Nila."

"You're welcome.  You protected them very well, Xander."  She disappeared again, going to help Radek since he was staring oddly at something.  She pointed and he fixed that section's connector so it worked again.  She beamed and patted him too.  "Thank you.  Now the water will heat and they can be decadent in the showers."  She disappeared.

Radek walked back in during the discussion.  "Hot water is now on," he reported.  He heard the cheer over the comm.  "Meeting tomorrow of physics and anyone else who can wire."  He hung up and sat down, slumping some.  "How many?"

"Six parts that are desperately needed but they all appear to be backup tubes.  That one doesn't have a backup but we'll be making sure we can reroute power down one shortly."  Radek nodded.  Jack stared at them.  "We need a lot more wire and soldiering things."

"I can agree with that.  Want me to get some construction guys?"

"Would their work be up to snuff?" he asked.

"Most of us, yes," Xander said dryly.  "Especially if you point out how important they are."  He shifted.  "We can even let one of the countries that wants to send people now give us some help with that."

"That's not a bad idea," Jack decided.  He made that note on his own PDA.  "Okay, anything else break?"

"One of the bridges won't retract but it won't fully latch either," Xander said.  "Third floor, east bridge."  Jack made that note.  "It looks like the bridge section itself is the problem, not the latch or the rest of it."

"Okay.  Is it frozen?"

"No it's more bent," Xander said.  "I don't know what elephant we had on it, but apparently we had one that bent it."

Jack nodded at that.  "I'll see what happened and get someone to make a new section so we can put the latch on and change it out."  He looked up.  "Any concern about the rest of the infrastructure construction going on?"  They all shook their heads.

"They are menial construction workers," Kavanagh said.  "They should be overseen better."

Xander looked down at him.  "How hard is it to read a plan and put things in place?" he asked.  "That's what they're doing, Kavanagh, and as a former construction worker, I'd like to deck you for that.  Most of us aren't lazy shits."  Kavanagh sank down in his chair.  "As a matter of fact, we've only had two things go wrong.  One, a deck was slightly too narrow and getting the lab settled bent a support so they had to add a second one.  The other, was a cross support in an area that we didn't realize needed more load bearing capabilities because we weren't aware of the lab going there being so heavy once they put things into it."  He leaned back again.  "Cam and I check every week," he told Jack.  "It's going well."

"Good.  I like that.  Any of them having any problems with the geeks?"

"The geeks with the same opinion got to apologize," Xander said dryly.  "Because I reached my point of 'do it or swim to Hawaii'.  I won't have them disrespected for not having a Ph.D.  The same as I won't take it from them."

"Good to know," Jack agreed.  "Thank you for handling that, Xander."

"Not a problem.  That's part of the job really."  He yawned.  "I would like to know who gave my original room to someone else.  It means I had to shut down that doorway and move it to a new room."

"No clue," Jack admitted.

Rodney shrugged.  "I have no idea.  Who moved into it?"

"Sarvantha?"

He rolled his eyes.  "I think she had it switched since she'd desperately like to tumble Radek into her sheets."

"I'm possessive," Xander mumbled.  Radek smiled at that.  "I'll help you if you want."

"Please.  She annoyed me yesterday while we were rewiring chemistry."

"We could eventually do with bigger quarters, sir," Evan pointed out.

"That's during the last stage of construction, Major."  He looked around.  "We'll talk about that when you're not exhausted."  They all nodded.  "Dismissed.  Xander, stay for a second to tell me about that problem."  He waited until the others filed out.  "Are you getting much flak for not having a Ph.D.?" he asked quietly.

"Every now and then, then I point out that some of us do learn everything we need to know outside of a classroom.  If I needed pretty papers to justify my existence then college would have to be more hands-on and then I wouldn't be bored shitless by people like them.  I was real blunt the last time when I pointed out the ability to show up to listen to a lecture did not make you a better researcher, doing the work did.  She complained to Cam, who told her to suck it up."

"I heard about that from him, I haven't heard about those from you."

Xander shrugged.  "I got it on the main base when I was there too.  Then I suddenly got useful and could do everything for everyone while no one else did anything."

"That's fine.  I'll be here for a few days."

"Good luck finding a room but if you can't, use mine.  I'm going to sleep in my own bed tonight."  He stood up and stretched.  "If it gets that bad, you'll be hearing from them when I drop them in front of you."

"Good.  I want you to stick up for yourself.  You know more than most of them."

"That's clear since I know how to not wear too much perfume and bathe.  Half of them don't."  He walked off.  He found one of his idiots trying to talk to Radek.  "Doctor Sarvantha, do you know how to wire things?" he asked.  She glared at him.  He stared back.  "If you don't want to sink, and you do know, we'll be adding you to some of the rewiring project.  We have miles of wire to redo and some of it's in critical areas."  He walked around her.  "Radek, want me to work on that strained shoulder where you had to duck and hit the wall?"

"Please, Xander.  It's still a bit sore."  He looked at her.  "I do not believe that I will be getting leave anytime shortly," he told her.

"You could, you haven't had any in a while."

He stared at her.  "And when I feel the need to go on leave, I will.  I have to check in with the home and all that.  Plus visiting some friends on campuses.  For right now, there is too much to get done for me to take leave."  He walked off.  He went to tell Cam that then went to take Xander up on his offer of a backrub.  He was still achy.  Xander was lounging on his bed and he stripped gratefully, climbing in next to him.  Xander flipped over, grabbing some lotion so they wouldn't drip on the bed.  He sniffed and smiled, relaxing some.  "Those nuts?"

"Yup, pressed some myself," he soothed, working on his back for him.  Evan walked in.  "Did you lock yours and Radek's?" he asked.

"Yup."  He settled in to watch them.  "You guys are exhausted."

"We have miles more to go," Xander admitted.  Radek wiggled.  "What?  Did I hit a sore spot?"

"No, it's your turn," Radek said, letting Evan help him.  The boy never let them spoil him but it was better this way.  He was groaning and happy and relaxed.  He finally fell asleep under their hands and he looked at Evan.  "He kept forgetting to shield himself," he said quietly.

"I heard."  He took a kiss.  "It'll be fine, Radek.  It was unconscious and now that he realizes it, he's fixing it."  He nodded, laying down beside him.  Evan snuggled in too and it was good.  The oil smelled nice and their hands were now softer than they should be on men like them.  It was nice and a good night.

***

Kavanagh stopped McKay the next day.  "I know there's something going on," he said bluntly.

"In relation to?" he asked, patiently for him.

"The connections between this city and Atlantis.  The pets get there without being beamed.  Harris, Zelenka, and Lorne all disappeared from their rooms last night.  I wanted to check with Lorne about where I'd be on the duty roster and the AI said he was off the city."

"He was.  I can find that for you if you want."

"Is there something experimental going on?" he demanded quietly, glancing around.  "Because you have people who want to topple Zelenka and a few who just want him to be theirs.  Even *I* noticed the trio thing," he finished quietly.  "They aren't real subtle."

"Xander has an opening to his house," he said quietly.  "That's where they are after hours.  As for who the dragons get to Atlantis to check on the eggs, the same way."  The younger moron slumped and nodded.  "So no, you can't interfere and they can't either."

"Fine, just warning you that others want to know."

"I'm sure they do.  Tell them it's magic and watch them mutter as they stomp off.  I do."  He stared at him.  "Why do you care?"

"Sarvantha tried to get my help and I can't stand her," he admitted, glancing around again.  He looked at his former boss.  "I can't stand you but scientists like her make me sick.  Especially since she keeps going off on Harris about learning the old fashioned way."

"I'll be talking to her anyway about her unhealthy interest in things that don't concern her."  Kavanagh stepped back, nodding some.  "Thank you for letting me know."

"I may hate you but at least you're making it possible for us to up the rest of everyone's understanding."  He walked off.  He ran into the trio in the mess getting breakfast.  He thought about telling Zelenka about her but he'd let McKay warn him.  He got his own coffee.  "Harris, the rewiring, who's in charge of the schedule?"

"Radek I think.  Why?"  He sipped his coffee, staring at him.  "If you want put on the schedule, we'll gladly accept it as long as you're doing the job correctly and working up to your full potential."

"I will be."  He went to talk to him.  "Zelenka, I want to help with the rewiring."

He looked up.  "I have you scheduled for the second batch and the backup tubes.  We'll also need to make sure that they can be used to divert power from any of the main ones in case of an emergency.  That means some cross-wiring."  He ate a bite of egg.  "Will that suit you?"

"It'd be fine, thank you.  Let me know when."  Radek nodded so he got his own breakfast and went to sit and think.  Harris treated him like he acted.  If he was a pushy ass, he got it back.  If he was decent, then he got treated decently.  He had learned a lot on the Apollo.  Especially from the Asgard.  He should be better and he needed to work on that a bit.  He realized that orders weren't as important and neither was lab protocol.  Getting the job done so people were safe was more important than either one of those.  He had been young before but three years on a ship full of people who made him change or they wouldn't even talk to him had made him take a long look at himself.

Cam walked in.  "Good morning, my people," he called.  Various grunts, moans, waves, and 'hi's' came back.  He got food and coffee, sitting down across from Radek.  "Status?"

"We'll have to rewire most of the other tubes as well," he said.  "The general is working on that for us."

"Excellent.  We have a schedule?"

"Yes and he might be adding some wiring specialists to help us."

"Even better."  He dug in, nodding at Evan.  "Problems overnight?"

"One.  We have a sleep walker that nearly fell off a bridge.  The people who found her got her to the rec room and left her there.  They left a guard who talked to her when she woke up.  She was embarrassed.  He suggested she talk to Lam or Keller about it, sir."

"The infirmary is going on the west side of the rec room, in that open space," Cam said.  "We'll be appointing a CMO sometime soon."

"I've fixed a few construction related injuries," Xander said.  "Nothing too huge.  A few stitches, a broken toe, a jammed finger.  The minor electro shock from chemistry I sent on immediately since it came from a machine."

"Keller complained about that but she agreed since we only have you here as an EMT, she wanted to see anything too serious," Evan agreed.

"I'll see if we can get us at least a nurse and stuff sooner," Cam said, making notes.  "Any other concerns outside of the wires?"

"Thrusters need work," Radek said.  He pulled out his computer to look at his list.  "Here."  Cam looked and nodded, making his own notes.  "Those are in priority order before the wires last night."

"Even better."  He drew an arrow to move that to the top of the list on his paper.  He looked up.  "Any other big concerns?  Xander, I heard you doing a credible McKay impersonation?" he asked when he didn't say anything.

"Ragging on the construction guys for not being doctors."

"How many have you shot down about yourself?"

"Three, four, something like that," he mumbled.  "They're handled.  By the way, the construction guys get this weekend off.  They're switching out crews for their week off and they're having a beach party on the atoll."

"Okay," he said, making note of that.  "I like that for them.  They deserve a lot of happiness for the monumental tasks they have to accomplish under picky eyes."  He looked up.  "Yours?"

"I pointed out some of us didn't need a pretty piece of paper to show that we could get up on time, wear our jammies to listen to a lecture, and write papers," he said dryly.  "They were offended and I don't care in most of the cases."

Cam considered it.  "That's a good viewpoint but I need to know how many problems we'll have.  Like if we have an emergency and you're the one in command."

"I'll slap them in their rooms in quarantine," he said quietly.  "Blatantly."

"Good."  He made that note to talk about with his people.  "Any of the military guys?"

"They're all SG," Evan pointed out.  "They all know Xander and know he's not going to pull punches when he has to.  Though, I have heard Walters spreading stories about emergencies Xander helped handle."  Cam smirked at that.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "So the others know what you're capable of."

"That's probably why they hate me.  They think I usurped or something."

"Screw 'em.  We like you handling things because we don't often lose people," Cam said simply.  Xander relaxed at that.  "Good.  Radek, meeting?"

"Yes, after food."  He finished up and announced the meeting, going to head it and talk about the wiring problem, which had caused problems for the last few days, and was going to keep causing problems until they got them all fixed.

Cam finished up and went to join him to talk about some things that needed to be talked about.  He had given Evan a silent order to keep Xander out of it so he wouldn't have to hear them chew them a new one for thinking he's lesser because he wasn't a doctor of anything.

Evan took Xander to Nila to look over some changes from the original plans, having him explain them to him.  The head of the construction company jumped in to help with that.  It worked well and he understood how it'd be helpful to protecting Nila and also help increase crew efficiency.

***

Radek looked up as Kavanagh came into the lab he was working on.  He mentally groaned but let it go.  "What has happened now?" he asked calmly, going back to the control panel he had been redoing.

"A few things."  He looked around.  "They're making stew fresh," he called.  The rest of them left.  One hung back but he glared.  She huffed off.  Kavanagh sighed.  "Can we talk?"

"Rodney told me what you had told him," he said, coming out from under the panel.  "Why is it a concern?"

"Because I found her trying to get into your room a few minutes ago, she was found hacking the system to get Harris removed to the construction crew's quarters, and she's tried to get him fired by pointing out he was here to someone in the press.  She's also recruiting help."

Radek stared at him.  "To get me?"

"Yeah, to get you.  She knows you two are close, maybe not how close, but close."  He glanced around then looked at him again.  "I am not meant for this sort of stress, Zelenka.  The general is peeved from what I saw just a minute ago and asked me where Harris was."

Radek got up.  "Thank you, Calvin."  He left, going to find Xander.  He found him and Jack shouting at each other.  "Hush!" he ordered, getting glared at.  "Xander, have you checked the housing assignments?"

"He got himself transferred to the construction crew by screwing around," Jack said.

"That would be hard to do since I don't touch the computers," Xander said dryly.

"No, as I heard it, a certain Doctor Sarvantha is jealous," he said bluntly.  Jack moaned. "Was it under his log-in?"

"I have a log-in?" Xander asked.

"No, you don't," Jack admitted.  "Not that I've given you for Nila's systems.  It was under your name though."  He got into that file and nodded.  "It was done from the system in your old room."

"She had me moved to the tiny quarter room on deck three," Xander said dryly.

"She did?" Jack asked.  Xander nodded.  "Did you move everything okay?" he asked more quietly.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Make sure she can't get there," he ordered.  Xander blanched and went to do that.  He looked at Radek.  "How many others?"

"Six complained this morning.  Cam talked to them."

"I'll talk to Mitchell then.  You'll be needing a new chief chemist."  He walked off.  "Give me a list later, Zelenka."

"I liked Hopster from the city."

"I'll try."

***

Xander walked into his house and found her there.  "Pretty isn't it?  I built it."  She turned, gaping in horror at him.  "What?"

"This isn't on earth."

"No, it's in a sub-realm."  He shrugged.  "Yay me."

"You can't do this!" she shouted.  "No one can do this!"

He stared at her.  "You'd be surprised, lady.  I can do pretty much anything I want to do most of the time this way."  He smirked.  "Including fuck whoever I want if they agree."  She ran at him and tried to scratch him but he punched her.  "Sorry, but the women I work with are tougher than that.  Pity you're not.  How shall we get you out of here?"

She fumbled with her purse and pulled out a revolver.  "It won't matter!  I'll make this my place!"  She shot him when he tried to move.  Then she screamed in horror as Armand and Mira came charging in to get her.  "No!"

Evan strolled in, then touched his comm.  "Keller to Xander's," he called.  "Someone shot him!"  He came over.  "Off!" he ordered the dragons.  "We want her more!"  Armand growled.  "Baby the daddy, Armand.  Mira, go get Rodney and some MP's please?"  She ran off.  "Armand."  He moved to daddy, who was panting and holding his bad thigh.  He stared at her, sneering some.  "You stupid bitch," he said quietly.

"He'll be mine!" she shouted.  "Or no one can have him!"

"Really?"  He smirked.  "Because I had him this morning before breakfast."  She got up and tried to hit him but Armand and Mira had bitten her pretty badly.  He smacked her back down.  Keller came trotting in.  "In his thigh, doc.  He hasn't lost his temper yet."

"I don't always," Xander said, teeth clenched.  "Evan, get her out of my house before I destroy her."

"Yup, going to."  Mira came back with McKay, Sheppard being carried, and two MP's hurrying to save their CO.  "This stupid bitch just shot Xander for daring to have someone she wanted."

"Let me go, Mira," John ordered.  She put him down.  "Thank you!"  He grabbed some cuffs and put them on her.  "Good.  She can go back to the main base.  MP's escort her for beaming with me."  He petted both dragons.  "He's fine and you guys helped a lot," he soothed.  They both calmed down.  "Armand, out of the doctor's way, like when his hip was hurt."  Armand was making whining noises.  Xander was still panting.  She knocked him out and Armand wailed.  "Hey!"

She looked up.  "I used the plant spray," she told him.  Armand sniffed then shrank and sat on the middle of daddy's chest, guarding him.  "Rodney, get me a gurney," she ordered.  He moved to do that from Atlantis and she got him moved.  The nurses didn't even wonder about the villa.

Rodney patted his shoulder.  Mira shrank and leapt at him, letting him pet her.  "Good job getting us, Mira.  Evan?"

"I'm just pissed," he admitted.  "Good job, Mira.  You and Armand did very good protecting the daddy."  He petted her.  "Let me go with Sheppard."  She let out a tiny roar.  She and her daddy went back to their city to check on the uncle.  Evan went to the main base.  Nila sent him directly there as soon as he stepped back into his room.  He heard the screaming and looked around, touching his comm.  "Nila, I need Radek please," he ordered quietly.  The guys in the gate room gave him odd looks.  She beamed him over and he waved.  "Let's go protect your chastity from that wench."

"How is Xander?  Nila said he was hurt."

"She shot him in the bad thigh."  Radek growled.  "Keller had to knock him out."  They walked into the office and he slammed the door.  "Sir, if you don't press charges, I will be since she decided to trespass and tried to sully the home."

"Where were you?" Landry asked.

"Xander has a home built with the coven."

"Ah.  And he has links to there," he said bluntly.

"Yes, sir, since the docking station's rooms are tiny beyond belief and we all needed a touch of home.  All of us in his made family have open invitations to that, his garden, his huge ass tub with the great views, all of it."

"That's good to know.  Where is he now?"

"Keller has him since this stupid bitch shot him."

"Language," he ordered.

"Sir, with all respect, calling it like I see it."

Radek stared at her.  "I would never have someone like you.  I may sometimes like women but none as selfish and damaged as you were before you shot Xander, and especially not now."  She tried to hit him but her arms were almost useless.  "I hope you have fun learning to please other women in jail," he said in Czech.

Evan coughed and smiled.  "She's going to need some surgeries before then, Radek."

"Probably," he agreed.  He came back over to stand next to Evan, making her swear and struggle.  He looked at Evan.   "What did you say to her?"

"I told her simply why she couldn't have you, that I was possessive of my made family," he said dryly.  Radek smirked at him.  They both glared at her and she shrank back.  "You know, we can let Xander finish losing his temper," he offered.  "I'm sure he has a sword he can show off the uses of."  She screamed and wailed for whole different reasons.

"Enough," Landry ordered.  "MP's, take her to the infirmary and stay with her.  She is going to be charged."  They walked her off, even if she did struggle.  He looked at the others.  "How bad is this problem, Doctor Zelenka?"

"I was warned she tried to get at least one other person involved in her demented plan to capture my hind end, General.  One of them warned me that she had also tried to get Xander changed to the construction crew and other vile issues."  Jack walked in.  "General."

"Where is she?"

"Infirmary with MP's," Landry said.  "The dragons did a number getting her back for shooting Harris."

"Good!" he said firmly.  Landry swallowed.  "Be damned if I want that to go on.  Half of the other scientists going off on the kid for not having a Ph.D. are because of her too."

"Kavanagh said she had tried to recruit him as well," Radek said.

"I'll get a statement from him to use in her trial," he promised.  "The kid okay?"

"Shot in the bad thigh," Evan complained.  "Armand did not want Keller to help him.  He's with him now."

"I'll make sure she's protected," Sheppard said, touching his comm.  "Major Kiester, how is my infirmary?"  He listened to the report.  "That's fine.  As long as they can handle it.  Yeah, McKay can help.  So can Ronon.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Armand is wailing about it.  Xander's back awake and petting him but he's still wailing.  I'm not sure why."

"Check the bullet for poison since she seemed to go on movie logic?" Radek offered.

"She did, none.  Mira's getting him calmed down."

"Armand probably thinks he wasn't there to protect him," Evan sighed.  "So do I."  He looked at the generals.  "Permission, sirs?"

"Granted," Jack said.

"Denied for about ten minutes," Landry said.  Jack stared at him.  He looked back.  "Major, you've made some pretty damning comments in front of me today."

"Sir, I'm allowed to make a family of people who I care for," he said bluntly.

"You said it was *your* house."

Evan nodded.  "Xander has made it very clear to the five of us and Faith that we're allowed there whenever we want, sir.  It may be his house but we are his made family and allowed there whenever we want."

"She laid a claim that you stated you had slept with someone of your own gender this morning."

"Want me to lie, sir, or tell you I was baiting her since she was down and I wanted to inflict pain and incite her to do something stupid I could shoot her for?" he asked.

"Then you can go, Major.  Remember, you're back on earth now."

"Screw 'em, sir.  My friendships and other relationships aren't anyone's business, especially not my CO's."  Landry gave him a dirty look.  "For that matter, they wanted Xander to be a poster boy so apparently DADT is going down soon."  He walked off.  Radek followed.  John beamed back with them.  He jogged up to the infirmary.  "Hey," he said at the wailing noise when he walked in.  "You did so good getting the people who hurt daddy," he soothed, giving him a cuddle.  Armand relaxed.  "Shh, we're here.  Daddy's not badly hurt.  I promise."  Armand snuffled him and then Radek, calming himself down.

"He didn't trust me to protect him?" Keller asked.

"No, Doc, I think he was worried because none of the family was here."

"Faith got the same sort of wailing," she pointed out.

"Yeah, but she's his aunt, we're not."

"Good point."  She smiled.  "For that matter, this whole base is still on the opinion of 'who cares'."  She finished her stitching and Xander relaxed his grip on the bed rails.  "There you go, Xander."  Armand leapt over and sniffed then cuddled.  Xander petted him and smiled.  "It's not bad but you'll limp for a few weeks.  Go back to the cane."

"Yes, Doc."

"Good boy."  She petted them both and went to clean up so they could be mushy without her.

"They nearly destroyed her arms and one leg," John said quietly.

"Good!  Because I was going to fuck up her life for it!" Xander assured him.  Armand meeped and Xander went back to cuddling him to calm down.  They all settled around him with the curtain drawn.  Rodney came in with Mira again and the curtain was tied off.  Faith snuck in and got her own hug.  Armand licked her and cuddled her too.  "It's cool," Xander told her.  "Someone wanted Radek."

"The cheap ass bitch should go hire a hooker instead.  It'd make her feel better."  She petted Armand then handed him back.  "Can I go rough her up?"

"She's in the infirmary on the main base," John said.  "Probably not."

"Pity."  She patted him.  "Get better, X."  She walked off.  "Kissen, I need stuff.  You need anything?"

"You not to slip back to the dark side?" he offered quietly, staring at her.

She snorted.  "You learned that look off Doc."

"Yeah I did," he admitted, smiling at her.  "Please?"

"She shot him!"

"The dragons tore her arms and one leg up," he retorted.

"Not near enough!"

"Let O'Neill handle it.  He's sneakier than you."  He winked.  She gave him an evil smirk.  "Good."  They walked off to tell Jon.  Who was not going to be happy.  He had just gotten to bed too.

***

Doctor Lam looked up as Jon O'Neill walked in with a cut on his lip.  "Sparring?" she asked.

"Yup, Doc, lucky shot."  He licked it and she got him the wand device to fix it.  He looked around casually.  "Not busy today?"

"No, not really.  No missions today.  They're shifting personnel around for leave and things from the cities."  She fixed his lip and stared at him.  "She's already off-base at a military jail facility, Jon," she said quietly.  "I didn't even operate, I sent her on.  I couldn't trust my own professional demeanor."

"Pity."

"I know.  The dragons were very evil.  She's going to have a lot of healing on those limbs."  She finished up then grinned.  "There you go.  How is he?"

"He's fine.  Armand is still wrecked that he couldn't protect him.  Evan's got him calmed down a few times."

"Good.  Mira?"

"She's still pissed.  Her fur's standing up and all that."

"Maybe we can let them go hunt something else."

"Kavanagh actually acted with dignity and humanity."

"Wow.  That's...  are we having an apocalypse?"

"Maybe sometime soon," he said dryly.  "If so, you'll see us afterward.  Me, Faith, Harris..."

"Good."  She patted him on the head.  "Get the boy some chocolates.  You know how he likes snack cakes."

"I am."  He went up to the base shop and got some then came back down, running into both generals.  "Getting something sweet for Harris."

Jack smirked.  "She got moved almost immediately."

"So Lam told me."  He shrugged.  "Pity."  Landry shuddered.  "Anyway, how's Nila doing?"

"Better.  Someone needs to talk to her because she's panicking a bit."

"I can do that on the way home."  He went to the gate room to be beamed back.  "Nila?" he called when he appeared, walking toward Evan's room.  She appeared, giving him a look, wringing her hands.  "He's fine.  It's on his bad thigh.  It's already been cleaned, stitched up, and all that.  He'll need his cane for a few weeks while it heals."  She sighed and beamed at him.  "I'm going to go give him a treat.  Maybe it'll calm Armand down too."  She nodded.  "You can pop over, can't you?"

"Yes, but Atlantis said I can't hover in the infirmary.  It was bothering the nurses."

"Nah, you can check on him later.  I'll swat anyone who fusses."  She nodded and disappeared.  He got into Evan's room easily enough and through his doorway, then out the one to the old office.  He found Faith in there staring.  "You okay?"

"I'll be fine," she said, straightening up.  He stared at her until she slumped and gave up. "We're back here where it's supposedly safer and he gets shot."

"Because she wanted Radek.  She had been turned down for Atlantis three times."

"Glad we didn't have something up there when it was more critical."

"Or have her trying her shit when he was down," he agreed.  "He'll be fine.  He's probably already complaining about being in a bed."  She smiled and nodded.   He waved the box.  Faith stole one.  "Don't forget to update the Sunnydale team that you're back, kinda."

"I can do that.  Thanks, Jon."

"Welcome."  He walked down there, handing Xander the open box.  "Faith stole one."

"That's fine," he agreed, smiling weakly.  "She won't let me rest in my own bed."

"Of course not.  You'd get up and fuss at things," he assured him.  Radek nodded.  "You couldn't lay there and let yourself be babied like you should.  It's a spouse's job after all."  He smirked at Evan.  "Landry really doesn't care about that stuff, Lorne, but he's got rules he has to follow too."

"Which is why I said my family," he said quietly, glancing around.

"They are."  He shrugged and patted Xander's foot.  "If you let yourself be babied, they'll let you go home.  They always did to Jack."  He left, finding Jack stomping his way.  "What now?" he demanded.

"Someone on the IOA got told we were back and told the Watchers."

"She's calling Sunnydale later."

"They want her to stand trial in front of the Council."

"No way in hell.  Xander will blow them up first."

"Good point.  Where is she?"

"She was in Xander's former office.  You know, that room really is nice even without the stretching.  I might take it over."  He went back up there.  "Faith."  She looked up from staring at the phone she had been given by someone.  "Council heard."

"Shit."  She stared at him.  "And?"

"They want you to stand trial for something in front of the Council."

"No way.  They'll kill me," she said quietly.

"Jack's handling it."  She smirked and nodded, calling Sunnydale.  He got Atlantis to beam up a few couches and they were happier.  Still a nice view of the sunset when it came time.

"B, me," she said in greeting.  She winced at the squealing.  "Yeah, back stateside.  You saw the new city thing with the labs?  Working on an associated part of that, yeah.  No, I'm okay.  Some bitch shot X today to get what's his.  Yeah, but she was psycho and the dragons won.  He's fine, small caliber in his thigh.  Easily cleaned up.  They're making him be babied in the infirmary here.  No, we're good.  He's there, I'm here, yeah.  What's going on beyond the Council tempting fate?"  She listened.  "That's bad," she said.  "Huh.  Yeah, that's real bad."

She nodded.  "I can see if X can pull something out in case it does happen.  Sure, B.  I can get letters and emails faster," she said happily.  "Exactly.  Nope, saw little D the other night at X's.  Sure.  I can do that too.  Thanks, B.  Laters."  She hung up and handed it back.  "Kissen's."  She went to Xander's house and knocked on Dawn's door, getting a sleepy, grumpy young woman.  "Your sister wants a call.  It's going to be an invasion of demons in LA soonish."

"Fuck, it never stops," she groaned.

"Yeah, and we're gonna need weapons."

"Done deal," she agreed.  "I'll tell them after I call her.  What smells like gunpowder?"

"Radek had a stalker.  She shot X in the thigh, then she lost to the dragons."

"Ooooh.  Someone's gonna pay."

"The dragons ruined her arms and one leg from what I heard."

"GOOD!"  She grimaced.  "I'll call and get times and dates.  Thanks, Faith."

"Welcome."  She left, going back to her spot.  She found Jack in there with Jon.  "B said LA's gonna be invaded by demons soon."

"The biography of Xander from the future said that he'd have a weapon that would take out anyone with their portal signature," Jon quipped.

Dawn leaned out.  "What book?"

"Brown leather, biography of him from the future."

"Cool.  Thanks."  She walked into the library to find it, which was easy enough really.  He was trying to hide it.  She walked it back through and kicked her doorway shut, going over to Jack and Ianto's place.  Owen groaned but followed.  She found the entry.  "Hey, it's even this month," she said dryly.  She handed it over, pointing at it.  "Xander got shot in the thigh by some chick who wanted Radek."

"They've already landed," Jack complained.  "It didn't change though."

Owen took it to look at.  "Can we make a weapon like that?"

"Yes," Dawn and Jack said.  "It's in the closet."

"That's scary," Ianto said dryly.  "Go give it to John Sheppard?  Maybe he can handle it for them?"

"Sure," she agreed, going to get it and float it down to where John was.  Jack was complaining manfully so she cleared her throat.  "John, this is the weapon they talked about," she said, handing it over.  "It'll have to be set to the portal's resonance energy once it's open.  The future biography has Xander doing it from the city as it's landing but well...."  She shrugged.   "Dad said you could handle it."

"Cool, thanks, Dawn."  She beamed.  "It works?"

"I think so."

"Multi use?" Jack asked.

"Ask the guy who made it if he remembers.  It's got the sticker on it that meant he made it while drunk, like his chair."  She walked off, waving at a few people she knew.  She took Faith with her to visit with Buffy for a bit.  And Jon.  Buffy needed to hit on Jon.  He was a good fighter, intelligent, and was dangerous when threatened.  Just her type only nice.

"I want plans for that sucker," Jack decided.

John opened it and found them, looking at them before handing them over.  "Let McKay copy them for you, sir."

"Gladly."  He walked off.  "McKay, a drunken Xander weapon of destruction just got delivered.  I want copies of the plans."  He made a copy off his computer and sent him one digitally.  "Thank you.  It's in the office.  It's for the demon invasion of LA."

"Shit, I'll need to be there," Xander sighed.

"You'll still be limping," Radek assured him.

"So?"

"No.  Not unless you can keep up and not get hurt, like you usually would when you were healthy."

"She'll need...." Xander stared.

Radek kissed him.  "We are in the employ of the US military," he pointed out when he pulled back and Xander had a goofy grin on his face.  "If they cannot help, then they're going to be sorry when they're overrun by demons too."  He looked at the general.  "Correct?"

"Yup.  We'll help."  He left, going to tell Landry that.  Xander wasn't going to be in any shape.  He took him to meet with Buffy.  "Ladies," he said in greeting.  "This is General Landry.   He's over the base where we all head from."

Buffy shook his hand.  "Thank you for taking in Dawnie when we needed you to, General."  She looked at Jack.  "Can I have all the marines?"

"At least some and a future weapon."

"Dawn said Xander made it while drunk."

"Yeah, he made a floating wheelchair at the same time," he told her.

She groaned.  "Figures.  Hold on, did he need it?"

"After that last battle in England, yeah.  His leg was nearly off," Dawn said with a grimace.   "He's fine outside of the new bullet hole in that side's thigh."

Buffy grimaced.  "We need him back here.  It was safer."

"It was someone who wanted his man," Dawn said with a hand wave.  "I was told the dragons ripped her a new one."

"Good!  I like that about the cuddly thing."  She frowned, chewing on her lip a bit.  "Well, we have an idea what's going on and maybe plans," she offered.

"Sweet," Jon said with a smirk.  "Let's look over them for you, Buffy."

"Please.  Xander used to do my battle plans.  I miss Xander."

"Xander was just saying he might be there," Jack offered.  "If he can walk.  They don't want to let him if he's not back up to normal standards."

"Yeah, that would be bad because he could die."

Dawn snorted.  "He'd probably pull another weapon out and blow them all up."  Buffy beamed and nodded that would be a Xander thing to do.  They went over the plans and Jack called in support for the range of times when it should happen.  There was a local base and San Diego could be more alert about that time as well.  That would be good.

***

John woke up a week later, moaning because Atlantis was in flight.  He stuck his comm in his ear as he headed for the chair room.  "What are we doing, people?"

"I am enacting a program that said I was to help during any apocalypse by the demonic," Atlantis informed him.  "We will be there shortly."

"Who wrote that one?" he asked.

"Asha.  He input it through Nila before that battle Xander had to help with."

"Oh, okay."  He walked out to where Rodney was.  "Shit," he said in awe when he saw the spill of demons.  "Fix the damn gun, Rodney.  Faster!"  He pointed it at the portal as instructed.  Then it clicked and he let John have it.  He shot it into the crowd of demons.  Any demons from the portal within three blocks of it were vaporized.  "Okay, that'll help.  I want landing teams," he ordered.  "Now!"  Kissen handed him his tac vest on the way past him.  He beamed down with the others and helped.  He saw Xander and moved closer to him.  "You're limping."

"Shut up," he muttered.  He set something and threw it.  It went off.  "Set to demons," he said dryly.  "We've already warned any demonic helpers."  They walked off.  Xander was limping but oh well.  He could handle a damn battle if he had to.  They ran into Buffy and Faith being surrounded and helped there.  They both hugged him and then John before moving on as a unit.  The San Diego military group showed up.  The rest of the SG troops showed up.  It was pitiful against the demons still coming.

"Rodney, take down the portal," John called over his comm.  "Now."  He looked up.  "Two minutes, people.  Big explosion if he can manage it."

"If we go here, it's a good cause," Faith panted back.

"There is no dying without permission," Xander reminded her, swinging on another being.  "Remember the scoobie rules, Faith."

"Yes, Xander."  She ducked a wild swing of his but it got the demon trying to kill her.  He summoned his axe back to him and went back to it while she backed up Buffy.

Ronon caught up to them.  "What the hell are they!" he demanded.

"Demons," Buffy said, not looking at him.  "Trying to invade here so they can eat us all.  Jump in, really."  He shot a few with his laser gun.  She moaned.  "I want," she begged.  "Xander?"

"Talk to Rodney, that's his project," he ordered.

"Fine.  Mean."

"Yes he is.  And snarky."  He smirked.  "Buffy, this is Ronon.  We adopted him."

She looked and had to wipe off drool.  "Are you single?  Like younger, cute women?"

"Your sister said almost the same thing to me," he admitted with a smirk.

"I'm prettier and not quite as young.  Plus not taken.  She's now taken."

"We'll see."

Faith smirked at him.  "B is the better slayer between us, Ronon."

"She'd still have to win me and woo me," he quipped back.

"Like chocolate?" she asked, staking the next demon then pulling out her sword and jumping into a knot of demons.  She saw people and grimaced.  "Tweeds," she warned Faith.

"Fuck 'em, we're a bit busy here."  She killed the demon they were hiding behind and glared.  "We're busy, it's an apocalypse.  Join in or get killed by the demons who want to eat us."  She moved on.

Xander moved her onto his other side.  "Fuck off," he told them.  "Before I get pissed and get creative *again*."  They backed off at that.  Buffy snickered.  "I take it you heard?"

"Yeah.  Messy."

"Good!"  They went back to it once they ran into a few more.  The explosion was nice and ruffled their hair from the blast.  "Wow, Rodney went for really pretty this time."  They moved to mop things up.  He was limping a lot and in pain but it had to be done.

Jack looked around.  "Sheppard, take your people," he ordered over the comm.  "And the city."

"Atlantis, beam up all SG personnel from our base, including Harris and his made family," he ordered.  They all reappeared.  He counted noses.  "Science squad?" he asked.

"Guarded, sir," Chuck said.  "Getting them now.  Please clear the area?"  They all moved.  He beamed up the rest.  The Apollo got the rest of the SG personnel back to base.  He looked.  "I think we got extra in our area beams."

Buffy waved.  "I'm Dawn's sister.  Co-slayer with Faith."

"It's cool.  I've got a good shower you can clean up with," Faith said, walking her off.  "Nice help, guys, thanks," she called.

"Eeh, more messy than aliens but less space battle," Jack sighed.  He watched.  Evan and Radek had cornered Xander against a wall and were complaining quietly.  "Guys, infirmary check for all personnel who were there."  They walked off.  He walked over to Evan and tapped him on the shoulder.  "That includes him."

"He's just messy, sir.  Plus limping heavily."

"I couldn't," he sighed.

"Next one, you can sit out," he said firmly.  "Even if we're right behind you, Xander."  He walked him off to go home so they could bathe all the goo off.  Radek was mumbling behind them.

Sheppard watched everyone go, looking at Rodney in the command center.  "Good timing."

"They were massing on the other side to come through in another huge wave," he said.  He linked into the feed from the news people.  "The regular military has the rest.  The helpful demons, because there were a few, have escaped."  He looked up.  "Go get checked and calm down."

John nodded.  "I need a shower."  He walked off.

Jack looked around.  "Chuck, put her back where she needs to be and make sure she's cloaked again."

"Cloak was reestablished after Colonel Sheppard fired, sir, and we're heading back right now under authority of one of our younger pilots who was injured recently."

"Thank you."  He went to get his own check over.  That had been bad.  Bullets hadn't done much against them.  He hated demons, he now had firmly decided he hated demons.  His comm beeped from Landry.  "Yeah, Hank?"  He listened.  "I'm going to calm down for the next hour, then later on I'm going to have a steak, a beer or three, and a hockey game.  If he wants to talk to me, he can do it after that.  I'll be at my fishing cabin."  He hung up as he walked into the infirmary.  "How's the base's infirmary doing?" he asked.

"Just about as crowded.  Mostly claw injuries, a few bites," Doctor Keller reported as she cleaned a bite.  "Are these poisonous in any way?"

"No clue," Jack offered.  He pulled out his cellphone and called his guys who were in Sunnydale.  "It's O'Neill.  Yes, the older one.  The bites?  Poisonous?  Anything we should worry about for the doc's?"  He listened, making notes.  "Thanks.  You guys good?"  He nodded.  "Decent.  Yup.  If they ask, tell them we're classified up the ass and I warned them anyway.  Thank you.  Good job."  He hung up.  "One of the blue things had poisoned claws."  He let her see what had been sent as a text message and she went to administer the antidote she had to those who had reported being clawed by it.  He got his own clearance and went to his cabin.  He had good water pressure.  He had no land line phone.  His cellphone went on 'no ring' and it was better.  He had a steak in the freezer, a grill to cook it on, and beer.  A new twelve-pack got beamed in with Daniel and it was good.  "You good?"

"I feel like we took on an army of demons," he admitted.  Teal'c appeared in the next beam.  He was apparently still calming down because he had that mon-feeling face on again.  "You?"

"Yeah, me too.  I'm too old for that shit."  He took the extra steaks from Teal'c and put them on the grill too.  It was good.  "Everyone else?"

"Cam's with the kids calming down but he might be here later if they can't include him the way they usually do Shep and McKay."

"That's fine.  Vala?"

"Screamed and ranted but they wouldn't let her go," Teal'c said.  "They knew by then that bullets would not work so she had no ability in that battle."  He yawned.  "That was hours of battle.  I have not been in such for years."

"It was," Daniel agreed.  Cam appeared and handed over the bag of potatoes and box of cookies.  "Thanks," he said with a grin.

"Sam sent the cookies.  She's ranting in her lab because demons aren't real and that was so wrong on all levels of physics again."

"It happens," Jack assured him.  "Vala?"

"Helping some guys calm down.  She's even helping cook dinner there.  You don't mind, right?"

"Nah.  We all need to calm down," Jack assured him with a smirk.  "Get a beer.  Take a cookie."  They got what they needed and sat down to watch a hockey match.  Yeah, they could calm down and ignore any news reports from LA.

***

John walked through his doorway to Xander's house, going back to the noisy area.  "Guys, can I calm down with you?"

"Sure," Xander said, pointing at the corner of the tub.  John stripped down.  "Move, Mira."  John picked her up and sat down, putting her on his lap.  Xander handed over a bottle of soap.  "Works wonders on goo."

"Thanks."  He let Mira help him but she swam around the center to check on her family.  When her daddy came in she cheeped but let him handle the daddy friend with the bad hair that wouldn't lay down for her.  Armand cheeped from the doorway, making her scurry over Radek to get out and help him in the garden.  They could unplant some things for the daddies.  They'd appreciate that.

"Don't pick too many things," Xander called.  "We're too tired to cook."  They both meeped back and he went back to scrubbing goo off him.  Radek and Evan finally attacked him with their brushes.  He sighed.  "Thanks, guys."

"Not a problem.  You'd do it for us," Evan said quietly.

"We are not mad," Radek promised.  "You needed to help.  We all needed to help.  Should have used bigger gun instead of a sword, but you needed to help."  He took a kiss, getting a grin back.  They went back to scrubbing him.  His clothes had been stuck on from all the goo and blood.  John's had looked the same way.  Evan had cut his off and left them in a pile.  Radek had been helping Rodney so his were on the chair in there.  Rodney finished stripping and got in to help John scrub, handing over something that might work better.  It foamed a bit but it ate the goo.  Evan took some for the three of them and it was easier.  Then the goo soap worked better.  Then a nice, calming soak once they had drained and rinsed the tub, running a nice, warm one with bubbles.  It was good to relax to.

Jon walked in and stopped to stare.  "Huh."

"We can scrunch and make room," Xander offered.

"Nah, came to check on you for the ladies.  Since you're limping and all that."

"I ache like fuck," Xander admitted quietly, looking at him.  "It's been a while since I went into a field battle."

Jon nodded.  "I get that.  Let me check on the pets and we'll watch the sunset from your old office since I took it over."  He went to do that.  "Guys, they've got bubbles."  The pets went back to digging up stuff after greeting noises.  He came out to look, carrying things into the kitchen for them.  "That should be good.  That and maybe a chicken or something."  They nosed the freezer.  He looked.  "Xander, you need meat."

"I have some coming from one of the witches," Xander called.  "She's taking some of the flowers with her.  I offered a spore plant but she gave me a dirty look."

"Uh-huh."  He left, going to sit with the ladies.  Armand followed to nuzzle them and then went back after leaving a rhubarb stalk with them.

Buffy looked at it.  "What's this?"

"The dragons love rhubarb sauce," Faith told her.  "It's really tart."  Buffy tried a bite and shrugged, eating it.  She liked tart and it was okay.  Faith grinned, taking her own bite.  "Jon?"

"No thanks."  He heard a goat and winced, closing the doorway so they wouldn't have to hear it be sacrificed to be eaten later.  The girls smiled and he smirked back.  It was good.

***

Dawn came out of the portal she had created, pushing her messy hair back.  She looked at Owen, who was so tired he was barely moving.  Then Jack.  "Dad?"

"I'm fine," he promised quietly.  "I'm going to take a shower, eat, and not move for a week."

"Okay.  Step-dad?"

Ianto smiled.  "We'll be fine, Dawn.  Go home."

She nodded.  "Cab.  We need a cab."  She got Owen out and called one on the hike up to the street.  Jack and Ianto shared with them, going to their shared building.  She got Owen into a shower and put on a soup to simmer, then went to join him.  He stiffened but let her hug him for now.  "That was bad," she whispered.  "Buffy does that every spring in lesser version."

He patted her.  "We've all had apocalypses."

She looked up.  "I know but that was bad even on that scale."

He nodded.  "It was."

She let him go, grabbing stuff.  "Turn around.  Goo never comes off unless you scrub."  He did and groaned when she attacked his back with the brush and special soap.  She had helped with weapons and witchly support, not the actual fighting.  Bullets hadn't killed them so she couldn't.  "I've got to learn how to fight better," she said as she scrubbed.

He turned to look at her.  "No, you don't."

"Yeah, I should."

"You can learn other things, and how to protect yourself better.  You're not your sister."

"A witch of my potential should help."

"Then learn that," he ordered, staring at her.

"We'll fight about this later," she told him.  "Turn back around."  He glared.  She made him and went back to scrubbing.  "I put on some soup."

"Please?" he asked quietly.

She gave him a hug from behind.  "I'll only jump in physically when I have to, Owen, but I still need to learn how to defend myself since I'll be working on SG projects from the hub."

He looked back at her.  "Staying?" he asked quietly.

"Until Dad kicks me out."  He smirked at that.  "Then maybe I'll go learn evil herbology from Xander.  Who knows."  He laughed and relaxed, letting her soothe him.  When he was finally clean he helped her wash down and get out.

"I'm damn glad you magicked the hot water tank," he teased.

"Yup."  She beamed.  "Cold water sucks when you're sore."  They put on bathrobes and went to eat.  Then she wanted to discover why post-apocalypse sex was wonderful.  She was sure she could talk Owen into it.  She went to get the bottle of special soap, taking it Ianto.  "Here, it removes goo without a wire brush."  She left them alone to calm down and do whatever they did after apocalypses.  They had been in enough of them to have the ritual down pat by now.

***

Xander woke up warm and clearly being held.  He blinked.  Radek and Evan were tangled together.  He looked back.  John and Rodney were behind him and it was John holding him.  He sighed and wiggled a bit.  John grunted.  "Flip over, hold him," he whispered.  John grunted at that and let him go.  He didn't flip over though so Xander hugged him for a bit.  Evan and Radek snuggled up against his back when he moved.  It was clear he had been having nightmares with the space they had given him, he tended to kick.  He heard a movement rom the living room area and got out of bed, limping out there.  He was naked, but so what.  It was his house.  He grabbed a gun before leaving his bedroom, carefully scanning around him.  He walked out, finding General Landry and Jack in there.  "What the hell are you two doing in my kitchen in the middle of the night?" he demanded.

"It's about six Atlantis time," Jack said.  "So a bit earlier on Nila."  He handed him some toast.  "Breakfast?"

"Too early."

"Yay."  He smirked at him.  "Nice move though."

"Thanks."  He went back to his bedroom.  "Generals are here," he announced.  John moaned.  Xander leaned down to give him a hug.  John woke up to blink.  "Landry and Jack are both here."

"Fuck."

"Landry?  Really?" he teased.

"No, eww."  He got out of bed with a stretch.  "I have nothing to wear of course."

"I have a huge ass closet and you're only a bit taller."  John nodded, going to find something.  Xander pointed at a few things that were long on him.  He got Rodney something to wear and then Evan and Radek, who were both about two inches shorter than him.  He kissed his boys awake, letting John get Rodney.  "Generals are making breakfast."

"Fuck," Evan muttered, yawning through it.

"John said the same thing," he teased.  "I pulled out stuff to wear."  They nodded and got up, sharing the shower so they could get dressed.  Rodney got it after them and finally came out to join them at breakfast.  Xander was wearing light cotton pants that might've been pajama pants and no shirt.  Rodney gave him a dirty look.  "I'll shower after I eat and get dressed."  He grunted, taking the coffee Jack handed over.

"Thank you."  Rodney sipped and moaned.  "Nice coffee."  He sat down at the bar set.  It was big enough for the five of them.  "Food?"

"Yes," Jack sighed, handing over plates.  He looked at them.  "Watching tv like a team movie night?"

"It's happened before," John admitted.  "Usually Ronon and Teyla took the bench at the end of the bed, sir.  You've seen it happen."

"Yeah, and done the same thing.  We don't care.  Do we, Hank?"

"I wouldn't care if you guys were calming down as long as it's kept out of sight of the normal soldiers and out of obvious statement on the bases, guys."

"Sir, I'm still not going to take a DADT report," John assured him.  "I don't care who whines.  They can go to you or the general."  He buttered his toast and ate some.  "Hmm, nice job, Xander.  Thank you."

"Welcome."  He nibbled on a piece of bacon.  "Are they in trouble?" he asked.

"Nope," Jack said with a smirk.  "The president would like to tour Atlantis and Nila though."

"I'll be here," Xander told him.  "With the doors shut."

"You could do some of the wires," Rodney offered.

"If he's not there yet, we need to make it clear to the scientists that they don't have to be scared of me if they're not fucking up," Xander retorted.  "Because they usually are the next day."  He ate another bite and Radek gave him some of his eggs in return for his extra piece of bacon.  "Hey!" he said weakly.  Jack reloaded their plates, earning a grin from them all.  "So, he's thinking what?  Screaming, yelling, I need to find the other pictures from Hell Week sort of issue or otherwise?"

"There's more?" Landry moaned.

"Yeah, and the three senators he went to college with were pretty sometimes."  He ate a bite.

Evan poked Xander on the side.  "No planning revenge in advance," he ordered quietly. "Make it later."

"Yes, dear."

"Thank you," John said.  "I don't want to destroy congress unless they try to medal me."

"Yes, dear," Xander repeated.  Landry choked and walked off, heading back to Atlantis.

Rodney frowned, watching him go then looked at Xander.  "Remember, he's the big brother, I'm the mean uncle."

"I do."  He smirked.  "Can I be the bratty nephew today?"

"Of course," Radek agreed.  "As long as you do not look too bad on the project."

"Good, then I'll go screw with the thrusters again."  He finished up and got more coffee, pouring everyone some too.  He sat down again.  "So, General, can I hide?"

"I would if I could, kid.  Just relax.  The news caught some pretty shots of everyone.  They're freaking out.  The president announced that we do have our own group to handle invasions, like UNIT would, and we're calming down today.  Not who we are....."

"Which will work nicely with the newly released papers going out next month," Rodney said.

"Probably, yeah," he agreed.  "Xander, they called yours good for a non-doctor, and especially for someone who had learned it at home instead of in a college.  But they didn't like the idea that there is one."

"They're really going to hate it in a few months, huh?" Xander said dryly.  "Are they liking Daniel more?"

"Nope."  He sipped his own coffee.  "Why do you have a goat?"

"We were going to eat the sucker but we were too tired to blood it and gut it," Xander said.

"Oh. Okay."  He nodded.  "Appear soon.  It's going to be seven soon on Atlantis and about five on Nila, guys.  I haven't gotten that time zone down yet."  He left, going to Atlantis for now.

Xander finished up and went to get a shower, coming out in his bathing suit and tool belt.  He grinned at them.  "Since I'll be in the water most of the day."  They smirked at him and headed back to their assigned areas.  "Group meeting," he called over the comm as soon as he walked onto Nila.  They all came to the meeting area.  "Guys, remember, I'm a geek first," he told them, making most of them relax.  "Fair warning, we do have higher ups coming sometime soon.  The president kinda announced us but not fully.  Those of you wanting to publish before we get outed, do so soon," he ordered, looking around.  "Those who want to hide from the higher ups, go help Radek wire."  They all smirked at that.  "I'm going to be working on the underwater thrusters all day, hence the clothes, and if you need me I'll have my comm on but if any higher being asks, I'm invisible, got it?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Any questions?"

"How's your thigh?" Kavanagh asked.  "You were clearly limping yesterday and Nila fretted all day that you're still too injured from that wound."

"I'm still exhausted but I'll be fine.  I'll have floaties on in case I get too tired.  Someone send me a soda now and then please."  They all grinned at that. "Any other concerns?"

"You really could use all those swords and axes that used to be in your office," one of the biologists said in awe.

Xander nodded.  "I started at sixteen hunting things like that.  Went through four yearly apocalypses, including a battle for graduation, and then came to the SG, guys.  Yeah, that wasn't my first.  Which is why I know to hide like hell from the higher ups.  They get pissed when demons come out.  Any other questions?"  No one said anything.  "Radek, any announcements?"

"We'll be working on two different corridors today.  Both are supposed to be in good shape and only need minimal work.  It's a fitting place to train anyone who doesn't know how to wire and solder things.  You'll be doing it in many labs to get them ready for outsiders coming in."  He pushed his glasses back up his nose and took a drink of coffee.  "Also, we need people who can publish papers because we'll be starting to take outside scientists in about six months."  They groaned.  "That means we want them able to be more than awed over what we have accomplished.  Right now, they know very little.  I have my hands full teaching Xander and Faith, which I adore doing, but we all have to put out information so they're lead down the garden path."  The scientists nodded.  "Any of you military boys and girls who know something are also welcome to publish."

"I have been leaking some information to a few paranoid people's sites," Xander said.  "They've had right information before, but weren't believed.  This way they have more right information.  They actually caught a picture of Jack O'Neill and Thor fishing."  The military guys laughed.  "Really.  The SG has been trying to suppress them for years."  He finished his newest cup of coffee.  "Anything, Evan?"

"For today, make sure things are tidy.  I'll warn the construction guys.  You guys calm down, do your jobs today.  Make sure the geeks are fine when they're working on something."

"Warn us when you see them so we can hide better," Xander quipped.

"Xander, did you have that pig photo?" Walters asked.

"Yup, I found it," he said with a smug look.  "They wanted me to be the new poster boy for the military."  The military guys whimpered en masse.  "Exactly, guys.  Though some of you would look wonderful with swords and leather pants."  He grinned.  Evan and Radek both poked him.  "Just picking, guys.  Not hitting on anyone so no one can panic."

"We know better than that, sir," one said dryly.  "You're already taken.  Not that we'd ever talk about it."  He shifted.  "Major, team assignments?"

"Five and three are on lab and geek duty.  Two is on tunnel and rewiring duty.  One is on guard and six is off," he said.

"Six got last Tuesday off," one of the members of team 4 said.

He checked. "Yup, sorry.  Six is on guard, four is standing down.  One is on tunnel too, moving to guard if you have to."  They all nodded at hat.  "Bring fire suppression gear if you can," he told the team leaders going with the geeks.  "And stuff to ground you.  There's been a lot of sparking."  They all nodded at that.  "Good, go for it."  They left, going to breakfast and then to duty.  Xander went to hop into the water and get to work on the thrusters.  Evan shook his head when a few of the guys watched him walk.  "Not as bad as the time he was wearing it while cleaning the dragons?" he taunted with an evil smirk.

"No, sir, it's less tight," one said.  "He's clearly lost some weight."  He looked at him.  "Someone should fuss more, sir."  He walked off smiling.

"Yeah, someone should," he agreed.  "I need stuff to do that though or I'll have to slaughter the new goat."  He left to plan that out with Radek for a bit in the tunnels.

***

The president walked off the jumper and onto the docking station, looking around.  "She's very fancy but she does fit Nila very well, General.  You were right about that."

"She does," Jack agreed, looking around.  "Stand down," he told the guards.  "We're not invading."

"Yes, sir," they agreed, going to parade rest.

"At ease," the president ordered.  He walked around with the general.  Nothing was too spacious.  "I've seen bigger bunk rooms on a cruiser," he joked at the sight of one of the staff bedrooms.

"They're temporary quarters, sir, until we can build proper ones.  Though they won't match the ones on Atlantis," Jack said.

"Those were nice, yes.  Including the washer units.  Thoughtful of the Ancients."  He saw the rec room and looked in the lanar.  "What is that?"

"That is the Ancient version of a meditation and relaxation room.  They called it a lanar."  Jack walked him in to look things over.  "They did a nice, destressing tea ceremony, they sat around and lounged, got comfortable without stress, that stuff."

"So it's this city's destressing point.  Nice.  Pretty plants."  He sniffed one.  "This one doesn't smell."

"No, they dried that and made their tea out of it," Jack said.  "Someone insisted all the lanar have some on it.  We're waiting to get fish for the three empty pools," he said with a point.  "I can't remember which one of the others are biting though."

"Are they native?"

"No, sir.  Pegasus galaxy pretty fish to stare at.  Half are biting and half aren't."  He looked around.  "Airman."  He came in and saluted.  "At ease.  Get the fish some food.  I know the biting ones usually eat a hotdog or two each tank.  I'm sure we were too tired to feed them last night."

"Yes, sir."  He went to do that and came back with the can of fish food too.  He looked at the diagram on the wall and went to feed them.  The biting fish were vicious when they got the sliced up hotdog.  The other ones acted like carp, coming up to inhale the fish flakes.  "Should I water things before the botanists get here, General?"

"No, it's fine.  Walters likes to come water them."  He nodded and saluted, getting waved off so he could escape.  Jack smiled.  "They're pretty to look at and slightly defensive.  No one's ever going to get anything in their tanks.  Also, that plant in there with them, if you drain some of the sap out, it's caffeinated and it's like a juice.  Harris found that for us."

The president looked at him.  "Interesting."

"It filters the water and air."

"Even better."  He walked off with him.  "Where is your genius linguist anyway?"

"Working on a critical problem we had the other day.  We found out that since this city was meant to be temporary and a means of testing things, they hadn't given Nila strong enough wires.  Some of them went out and she almost sank for a bit.  So they're all working on that today if they can wire in the least little bit.  I think Xander's also been working on the thrusters in case we start to go down as an emergency backup."  He led him down to where Radek was since the president seemed to want to go.  "Doctor Zelenka."

Radek stiffened and muttered something, looking over.  "Yes, General?"

"How's the rewiring going?"

Nila appeared.  "They're doing a lot of work to my insides," she told him with a grin.  "They're very good about it and they need music but they can't decide what they want to listen to."

"They could listen to individual players," the president offered.

"No we can't," Kavanagh said.  "There's static and electrical discharges, sir.  One person drinking a can of diet soda nearly died from one earlier."

"Oh, I see."  He looked around.  "Was Harris down here?"

"Not for a few hours," Radek said.  "I think he went to Atlantis to check against what we have here on those thrusters.  He thought they looked fine but a few wouldn't work."

"I see.  Is he avoiding me, Doctor Zelenka?"

Radek stared at him.  "Must you ask me questions you don't want answered?" he asked in Czech.  Jack coughed.  "I believe he made himself plain this morning at the meeting that he was going to be busy all day working on various necessary tasks."

"I see.  On purpose?"

"Possibly," he admitted.  The energy charged.  "Get him out of here, is a discharge."  Jack hustled the president out.  Someone yelped.  "Are we fine?" he called.

"Yes, Radek, just a wire discharge," someone called.

Radek sighed, shaking his head.  "Ground around it," he called back.  He looked back at the president, muttering under his breath about stupid politicians.  "As you can see, is dangerous."

"Was that Harris?"

"No, sir, that was Doctor Karva," Kavanagh told him.  "She's usually in biology and biometrics but she volunteered to learn how to wire and solder today."

"Wonderful of her," he decided, walking off.  "Doctor Zelenka, I would like to talk to your head of linguists," he ordered.

"If the general can find him, sir.  I am a bit busy here making sure we stay floating and everyone is happy that everything works."  He got back to his own work.  "Kavanagh, move that section down two more.  Is a junction node and can be used to switch things in times of danger."

"Sure, Radek."  He got to work on that.  They shared a look and Kavanagh shuddered.  Radek beamed.  It was nice that one had respect finally for bigger brains than him.  All it had taken was having his ass beaten a few times, who knew.

The president walked off with Jack, back into the sunlight.  "Find him, general.  I would like to talk to him."

"Nila, Xander's on Atlantis, right?" he called.

"Yes, he just went back there a few minutes ago, muttering that everything looked right but apparently wasn't.  He's made the trip three times today," she said, appearing in front of them.  "He's been underneath me the rest of the day.  Even during soda and lunch breaks.  I would've said something but he had a protein shake while working.  We need to make sure he has a good dinner, child Jack."

"I'm sure we will."  He smiled.  "Sorry, sir.  He's back on Atlantis."

"Do the beaming thing.  I wanted to speak to him, Jack."

He sighed and called.  "Harris to Nila's docks."  The retort he got back made him mentally cackle.  "No, please appear clothed, Harris."  He hung up and sighed.  "He's in the shower.  There was a leak and he got some on him.  He's cleaning up right now, sir."

Xander appeared in a towel, staring at them.  "Nila, that thruster is still sealed, right?"

"Yes, Xander."

"I'll fix it in a minute, let me find something else to put on first."

"I can wait.  The women on the base might giggle and try to pinch you.  That would upset others."

Xander grinned at her image.  "Me too."  She giggled and left.  He looked at the president, staring at him really.  "What?"

"You're injured?"  He could see the wound, the towel was tiny.

"Yes, some psycho bitch chemist wanted Doctor Zelenka and decided I was in her way," he said dryly.  "She shot me in the thigh so Armand and Mira nearly ripped her arms off for her."

The president blinked a few times.  "You're very blunt today."

"I'm always blunt.  I'm also chilled and I will tell Doctor Keller you're the cause of my sniffles, sir."  The president moaned.  "May I get dressed?  Not that I care personally about being out here in only a towel.  Nor will most on the station.  A few might get the wrong idea however."

"Do you have to go back down?" Jack asked.

"Yes.  Her thrusters have some frozen pistons.  Rodney thinks he knows why.  I need to put a new gasket in that one but you can't remove the thrusters so we've been working with a shield around the leak and me fixing it inside that."  Jack nodded at that.  "Then she'll banish the ancient sludge somewhere else so it can be studied and replicated.  Until then, we're using Quaker State.  I have six more to finish working on."

"That's a full day's work," one of the guards said.

Xander nodded.  "We all work a full day out here.  Especially with the wiring crisis.  Hell, me, Rodney, and Radek nearly died a few days back doing some of it due to constant discharges."

"Sir, your towel's slipping," one of the Secret Service guards noted.

Xander looked down, tightening it up again.  "Son, I don't care.  I'm not ashamed of my body, scars and all.  If he doesn't like looking at it, then he would've let me go put on a swim suit so I can go back to work."  He looked at the president again.

"You are the most abrasive person I know, Harris," the president said.

Xander shrugged.  "Happy to be notable," he said dryly.  "Personally, the only opinions I care about wouldn't do more than scowl that I'd be naked anyway."

"We want to award and medal those who were in that invasion."

"No thanks."  He walked off.  "Jack, we need more oil, about seven more bottles to be safe."

"I can send some over from the motor pool, Xander."  He mentally was cackling at that performance.  He looked at the president, ignoring his scowl.  "Sir, you know he hates being noted."

"Most people....."

"Aren't him," he said bluntly.  "And frankly, no one that has to deal with demons that way wants attention.  Attention gets them dead."

"I get enough of that from the Council," Xander called back before getting on the elevator.  "Hi, Briony."

"Xander," she said, looking him over.  "Swimsuit rip?"

"Lubricant leak from a thruster."  She giggled and patted him on the shoulder.  "He wanted me to appear ASAP, didn't care what I was wearing.  Pity."

She snickered, getting off on the botany floor.  "She misses you."

"I'll be in for a bit tonight but we've got the wires to be done.  That's important because we'll all sink and die if we don't get it fixed."

"I'll tell her that.  Go get dressed before women get a bad idea."

He looked at her.  "You're not evil, why would you?"  The doors closed on her cackling.  He went up to his room and through the doorway.  "Hi, Jack," he said since he was in the kitchen.  "Hi, Jon," he called into the library.  "President's on Nila.  Fair warning about medal talk."  Jon's muttering wasn't printable and Jack was cackling.  Xander came out in spandex shorts and no shirt.  He stretched.  "I've got to finish fixing the thrusters."  Jack held up a bite, letting him eat it.  "Thanks for lunch, Jack.  Problems?"

"Just getting away from wanting to spank Gwen and Tosh."

"Send them baby clothes shopping."

"They cut work to do that," he said dryly.

"Babies rot the mind.  We all know that.  Tell Rhys so he spanks her or knocks her up again."  He walked out, heading down the elevator again.  Jon came out the car after him.  "Sir, there you go, one person who was there and could use the career notice."  He walked past the group and dove into the water, then turned and swam under to get back to what he had been doing.  His floating tool kit was still tethered where he wanted it.  She had beamed a bottle of oil on top of it.  That would work.  "Okay, Nila, going to enter the shields," he noted.

"Shields may fail soon, Xander," she reported in a more computer voice than usual.

"Then beam the contents to the safe storage area on Atlantis."  She did that.  "Good job."  He clicked his comm.  "Radek, Nila's sounding worn down again.  Are you screwing with that?"  He got a complaint but he pulled off to see what was going on.  "There we go.  And let's add the oil," he said, talking to her.  He got it sealed in and then sealed the housing. "Nila, please fire this thruster at point-one percent for three seconds," he ordered.  She did that.  "Does it feel normal?"  No answer.  "Radek, she can't even answer now."  He said he was working on it and she appeared next to him in the water a few minutes later.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine but this wiring is making me do odd things I do not like," she said.

He grinned.  "It'll be over with soon."

"I know.  That one is now reading at seventy percent of optimal, as the others are."

"Rodney's looking at the sludge to see if he can recreate it."

"Wonderful."  She looked around.   "We don't have any more to do."  He winked and went to check the others.  One was still frozen and he had no idea why.  "Could it be a wire malfunction as well?"

"No, that checked out," he said.  He looked at her.  "Shield around it so I can open it."  She did and he opened the housing, looking at it.  "I swear that's a piston but they didn't use pistons."

"It was experimental," she pointed out.  "All different forms of powering them were used."

"Good point."  He checked.  Then he pulled over his tool kit to get something and bang on the thing that looked like a piston until it went down.  "Now, try to move that," he ordered.  "Slowly, at point-one percent please."

"It is frozen lower now, it will not stop firing."  Xander removed the power connector and she smiled at him.  "That is very wise."

He grinned.  "I think I know what it is."  He got into the interior housing, finding the piston arm was frozen.  And rusted, and it looked like fused together.  "Can you beam these three parts here," he said, removing them.  "To Rodney and let him find us a new one?"  She did that for him.  He called.  "Rodney, that is fused together, I need a new one for that one thruster.  Yeah, shocked me that it's got a piston too.  Please?"  He found one in the auto pool and sent it back.

"Thanks."  It landed next to him and he installed it.  "I need a hex key I don't have," he said dryly.  "Of course."  He tightened it as well as he could and then checked the motion.  It wasn't going to come off.  "Good enough.  Watch this one to make sure it doesn't come off," he said, looking at her.  She was frozen.  He touched his comm.  "Radek, blue screen of death?"  He smirked and finished up, then touched the illusion.  That made it crumble and disappear.  He grabbed his tools and went back to the dock he could climb up from.

"Watch for the fifth underwater east thruster," he ordered as he walked into the command center.  "I did what I could to tighten it but it needed a hex key I didn't have."  He settled himself in the chair and restarted Nila's AI from the boot system.  She appeared, looking startled.  Then she froze again.  "Okay."  He went over what was going on and fixed it on them.  Including something that was seriously wrong.

"Kavanagh, if I have to come down there and beat you for rerouting Nila's main power supply through a broken section, I will," he called.  Kavanagh spluttered and fixed it, explaining what he was doing.  "That's prepping it, not actually doing it, right?"  He groaned and did what he needed to do. "Thank you.  Rebooting the AI."  He did that and she reappeared, flashing through her forms a few times.  "Nila?"

"Xander.  Thank you.  Have I lost much time?"  She checked everything.  "I see it's only been a few minutes."

"Kavanagh was prepping things for an emergency power reroute and it sent you to the windows version of the blue screen of death."

"I do not understand that reference."  He pulled it up for her and she beamed and nodded.  "Exactly!  I should chastise him."  She went down there to gently chew him a new one.  They had all agreed not to teach her to swear the way Atlantis could when she was frustrated.  By the time she was done, Kavanagh was looking like he had been kicked so she patted him on the head.  "Now, do better, young man."  She disappeared.

Miko looked over.  "She can be like someone's grandmother.  She tells us to eat too."

Kavanagh blushed, nodding, and ducking his head.  "I can make sure it'll be fine."  He got back to work.  He didn't want to be given that look or lecture again.  He would do better from now on.  Radek was smiling at him.  "She chew on you too?"

"For not making Xander eat."  Kavanagh smiled slightly at that.  "She is very motherly.  She looks after us very well.  And when she's frustrated, she'll throw us into the water."  Miko snickered.  "Even her a few times."

"I forgot to eat."  She got back to work.  "Atlantis will swear back at Rodney when he's swearing at her for breaking down."

Kavanagh looked at her.  "The AI swears?"

"Like a French sailor since she only does it in French," another of the people said.  "We're not sure who taught her but she's very amusing to listen to when she's swearing at us minions because we broke something and it's making McKay grumpy.  Then he gets us."

Radek nodded.  "She is very prolific.  I think she looked up new ones."

Kavanagh stared at him.  "How did McKay warp an artificial intelligence program?"

"They are very human reactive and learning," Radek said simply.  "They learn from all interactions.  Faith taught her how to say 'kiss off' in fourteen languages."  Kavanagh groaned at that, shaking his head.  "It was helpful when things happen or people press the wrong button that she doesn't want to work."  He finished his section and moved down.  "We need to look at the machines and make sure that none are ascension machines or more asexual reproduction machines.  Neither Xander or Daniel will manage to miss getting hit this time if there are."  They all laughed at that.  Kavanagh gave him the dirtiest look.  "Rodney got hit by an ascension machine.  Two Marines got hit by the asexual reproduction machine.  They have beautiful daughters with another Marine."

"They had...." he started.  Everyone nodded.  "Why?"

"The day after they got hit, we got spored," Miko said dryly.

"Oh.  Eww."  He shuddered.  Then he got back to work.  Things had went insane after he had left Atlantis.  He would've went insane up there too if he had stayed.  The general came back.  "Sir."

"Jack," Radek said.  "Is he gone?"

"Fuming that Xander disrespected him enough to not put on clothes when he said to appear immediately as he was.  Xander pointed out the problem with that statement since I had told him he was in the shower."  He stared at him.  "How bad is it?"

"Bad," they all said.  They let him see the wires they were replacing. They were machine wires, not heavy duty wires.   Jack could only nod and make more wire available to them.  At dinner time he made sure the kid ate, as Nila ordered, and talked to a few of the guys.

2: When Good Fairies Go Bad

Xander called the news station that was running a 'who were they' special on the people who had fought in the invasion.  "This is Harris.  Yes, that one.  No, I don't want to be noted.  I hate publicity, it makes my life a thousand times harder, so could you please quit?  No, I'm not.  I'm very bi, in a committed homosexual relationship, love my plants and my swords, and you're making my life miserable, so please stop now.  Before I sue.  Thank you."  He hung up and threw his phone.  He had strengthened the casing so that was safe.

Evan picked up the phone and walked away.  "They're only reacting to public interest.  It'll be forgotten about in a few days," he soothed.  "Calm down."

"I don't want to calm down."  He walked off.  "I'm going to help Rodney with the new lab they found."

"Sure," Evan agreed.  "Check on the eggs."

"I did before breakfast.  They're doing fine."  He grinned and got beamed over there.  He looked up at John.  "What new lab?"

"C'mon, we can go.  You chew someone a new one?"

"Yeah, the news station trying to identify all of us."  He walked beside him down the familiar halls.  "By the way, they got you and your service record, the classified version."

"Yay," John said sarcastically.  "I'm sure someone will be unhappy."

"I'm unhappy, does that count?  I have other pictures that I can put out there."

"No, don't.  He agreed not to medal those of us who didn't want it this time."  He patted him on the back.  "Rodney found the hidden lab and he's not sure what much of anything does."

"That's better than the constant wiring we've been doing for the last few days.  I could use some nice mind clearing work instead of wire, solder, insulate."

"Sure."  He walked him into the lab.  "McKay."  He looked up.  "One willing helper."

"Wonderful.  How's the wiring going?"

"We finally have it all done."  He came over to look and not touch.  "I recognize that as something that got ran over my side's injury when I appeared."

"It's some sort of medical scanner," he agreed.  "Probably their version of a sonic screwdriver."  He ran it over the boy.  "Hmm, reads your DNA taint, reads your thigh healing, reads your body wash or oil."

"Lotion.  I was out tanning for a bit until someone complained that I wasn't making myself work on my first day off in forever."

"So you came here?" Rodney snorted.

"Yes.  Radek came to shoo her off and make her go work on her day off instead.  He was all grumbly so I'm getting out of the way."

"Wonderful," he agreed.  "As you can see, this lab appears to be medical."

Xander shook his head.  "No, it's not, Rodney."  He pointed.  "I recognize some of the structure of that one.  They used it to tell when I had come from and it did react to magic.  That's how they coded the little anti-magic ball that tried to screw up my office."  Rodney groaned, walking over to it.  He followed, coming over to look at the machines but not touch.  He looked around.  "Something seems eerily familiar," he decided, looking around.  "Atlantis?"  She popped into being, smiling at him.  "Hi.  Can I have Asha's and Janus' full notes regarding this machine and the blue thingy over there?" he asked with a point.

She looked at it then shrugged.  "I have no idea what that is."

"Anything about this lab?" Xander asked.

"No, not that I've seen.  You translated it."

Xander nodded, considering it. "I swear I know something like this."  He walked around, thinking back.  Every time he did he got a headache.  He sat on the bench of the machine, looking up as he leaned back.  Then he sat up.  "We have to go now."

"Why?" John asked calmly.

"Because if we don't, we're going to have problems.  I made myself forget this side-trip.  They breached realities into something that makes Disney look like crack.  Go, now."  They walked out but it was too late.  Three ATA carriers in a lab and something will come on.  There was a way to make sure of it and the Ancients did have a sense of humor.  Especially the two on Atlantis trying to ascend.  "Shit," Xander said as the light hit them.  "I'll kill those two bastards in seclusion."

***

Atlantis was freaking out.  For an AI, that was both weird and worrying.  She was pacing as well.  In midair.  "What happened?" Radek asked as he walked in.  She had frantically called him back to the city citing an emergency.  She queued up the tape for them to watch.  Mitchell was there, Keller too.  Faith too.  Now if only Rodney, John, and Xander were there.  The generals were both there, she had stolen them from home.  They watched as their three brightest disappeared.  "Oh, shit," Jack muttered.  "Atlantis, where did they go?"

"I'm not sure.  I have no idea what that lab does.  It seemed that Xander recognized it though."

Radek got her to beam him back to his room so he could get into the library.  He found the journal from when he had been with Asha, looking it over.  He grimaced, getting her to bring him back to the meeting area once he was back on Atlantis through that doorway.  He walked in and looked up.  "There is a reason Janus was known as a chaos god."

Evan stole it to read.  "So this was Janus's version of 'let's get drunk and see what comes out of the lab'?" he decided when he got finished.

"Apparently," Radek sighed, sitting down again.  "Presently they are trapped in another realm."

"How?" Landry asked.  Evan gave him the journal.  He read it and then looked at them.  "How in the hell does Harris get into these situations?"

"I'm wondering why he didn't recognize it right off," Evan admitted.

"I'd push that out of my mind as well," Radek said dryly.  That sounded horrible.  Truly horrible.  They might have to go save them.

***

Xander looked around the room he was in.  It had no doors that he could find.  A few small windows that he wouldn't be able to fit through.  He had on clothes that were flimsy and white.  All in all, this was the suckiest flashback ever.  He calmed himself, reaching for his magic.  A bit blocked.  Only his internal stores.  He mentally reached into what the Doctor had taught him after that year that wasn't.  Rodney was a former ascended.  Fortunately.  He felt the energy flows and grabbed onto some.  He sent a message to them.  Cryptic but it might help.  "I am not Scheherazade," he mumbled.  "I do not tell nightly tales for 1001 nights or die.  Fix it before I have to do that again."  He went limp, letting it go.  He stared at the ceiling and the mural on it.  "I know you're a chaos god, but *really*!  Must you again?"  The mural's head nodded.  "Well, fuck you."

"You can die," it told him.

Xander stared at him.  "Because that worked *so* well for you the last time," he snorted.  "I don't care how much you and your other half or whatever he is talked about me.  I'm not playing this game again."

"You entered the machine."

"No, we didn't.  We were in the doorway.  We were getting away from the machine because I figured out what it was.  You unfairly stole us."

"Another Ancient set it to you."

"I'll kill those two assholes," he said bluntly.  "There's no way in hell.  I'm not playing this game.  You want amusement, descend.  Learn to play video games or go to porn parlors.  I'm not giving it."

"Then you can die.  Even your kind can die."

Xander stared at him.  "Don't make me break things.  I remember how I nearly did it last time and I can start there again."  The demon/ascended/chaos god glared.  Xander stared back.  "You know what?  Even if you wanted to play, there's only three of us.  Pity."

"I can kill them."

"I doubt it.  McKay will reascend and kick you to death."

"Hmm, an interesting challenge.  The power here is not your sort."

Xander smirked.  "All power's my sort of power, dumbass.  Not like I only use *one* sort."  The head disappeared.  Xander calmed himself, reaching out to tap into the sources he usually ignored.  It was dangerous to tap into the temporal stream for power.  Or even into voids, vortexes, alternate realities, or any of it.

***

Jack Harkness opened the door for Ianto on their way to lunch and a bright light took them.  Jack blinked when the light cleared, looking around the tower room.  This was not their usual chinese place.  "Ianto?" he called.  No answer.  He scowled, starting to mentally growl.  Someone was going to pay for hurting Ianto.  Even if he was perfectly fine back at home he'd worry.  This was not going to make anyone happy.  He looked around the tower room again.  Nothing unusual.  He checked himself over, realizing something.  He was...  "I don't usually wear gothic dresses with low bust lines," he said, staring down at his chest to make sure it wasn't for a necessary reason.  "Well, no tits at least," he decided, removing the falsies that had been inserted.  "That's a benefit."  He patted himself on the head.  "Stupid hat.  Am I in a fairy tale?"  He checked, no wings.  Just the stupid hat and dress.  He hoped Ianto didn't see him like that.  He didn't want laughed at today or him to take pictures.  Or Owen to take pictures to post up everywhere in Cardiff.

"Rapunzel, let down your hair," a male voice called.

"Are you fucking stupid?" he yelled back, coming to the window.  This was not making him happy.  Not even traveling through time had made him do things like this.

"Yes and it's your damn daughter's fault," Owen shouted back.  Jack smirked at that.  "Get down here!"

"How?  No ladder, genius."

"Cut off the hair, tie it off, and climb down it," Owen said smartly.  "Like she did in the damn story!"

"Thank you for telling me that."  He found a knife and did that, though it took nearly forever.  He'd have to keep the knife to sharpen for later use when he stabbed whoever had done this to them.  He finally made it to the ground and took off the dress.  He was in pants, leather ones, and nothing else.  "Fuck it," he decided.  They walked off.  "Any idea?"

"No.  This is Dawn shit, not Torchwood crap.  Though I'm hoping she's not Sleeping Beauty."  They went into the enchanted forest to deal with whoever had done this.  They seriously wanted to have a *talk* with them.

***

Dawn looked up, feeling the shift in the magic.  "Clean my leather halter top," one sister shouted.

"Restring my crossbow!" the other complained.  "I have to go on patrol tonight."

Dawn stared at them.  "Shut up, both of you."  They stared at her.  "I'm not your fucking maid, I'm your sister."  They gaped.  "Faith, Buffy, snap out of it!" she ordered, adding magic to the order.  They did and stared at her.  "Morning," she said sarcastically.  "Where were you before this shit happened?  And if that's Mom being the wicked stepmother I'm going to destroy this plane!" she called.

"You will not," a male voice said.  "You aren't that skilled."

Dawn stared at the mural that was forming on the ceiling.  "Bet me!  Even if I have to dump raw power into it to unravel it, I fucking will."

"That would kill the others here."

"I doubt that too."

"Beyond that, mortally embarrassed by the outfit anyway," Buffy said, waving a hand at her slutty, low cut halter top and matching leather pants plus three inch heeled boots.  "Kinda not my style."

Faith looked at hers then at her 'sister'.  "Yeah, gotta change the shoes and find a jacket."  They went to do that.  "D?"

"Shoes, jacket.  Maybe if Owen sees me in this getup I'll get pounced tonight instead of studying for physics."  She glared at the mural.  "I know who the fuck you are and as soon as I get home I'm taking out your pervy little priest Ethan," she said quietly.  "Even if I have to go on a vendetta war to get all the chaos people out of the way, I will.  I'll probably get help.  My big brother Xander would."

"He is not involved in these because his mind is fertile with what I need to hear for amusement."  It faded.  Dawn poured power into the spot and he came back.  "What are you doing, mortal?"

Dawn snorted.  "I'm not a mortal, asshole.  I haven't been since I was made."  He stared at her, then a light went over her.  "So yeah, not happy with you."  The Ancient gaped in horror.  "Put us back.  Now."

"You may go."

"My mother will go.  The rest of us will go.  Now.  Or I'll make sure they go."

"You would kill them with your lack of training."

Dawn snickered.  "Really?  Because all I have to do is link to Xander, and I'm kinda like his little sister."  The beam went down around her and she disappeared.  "Hmm."  She looked around the house, going to talk to the witches being petted by Morticia.  "Janus stole us."

They stopped arguing with the plants to stare at her.  "Xander is participating in chaos magic," one told her.

"No, Janus stole all our asses.  I was just there."  They read her energy and gasped.  "I got sent back because I was going to kill the fucker."  She put her hands on her hips.  Low cut leather catsuit?  Sure, she could handle that and the heels.  "So, no.  He's not.  He's trying to get everyone else free.  If chaos is the only source, he'll probably reach for temporal energy first."  She shrugged.  "He's not going evil.  Leave the house alone."

"Fine," the head witch said.  "We wish to see him when he gets back."

Dawn stared at her.  "Didn't you guys graduate him?"  They groaned.  "Shoo so I can get back at Janus and help save their asses."  They stomped off.  She erected Xander's shields around the house and found the book to transport her back with what she needed.  She found a few orbs and a few other things she'd need in his work area.  She packed a bag and took it to Atlantis since that's where the wailing about Xander being missing was heard.  She walked into the lab a few minutes later.  "Fucking Janus," she told Jack.  "Sick, sad, psycho asshole who's playing Brothers Grimm."  She sat on the machine and turned it on, sending herself back there.  This was not going to be going on much longer if she had a say in it.  And her mother had better be home!

Jack stared in horror.  "Oooh, someone's pissed."

"Ya think?" Jon asked.  "Janus?"

"Yup," Landry said.  "That's what she said."

Daniel and Jon went into the machine too.  It was the least they could do since they couldn't find Cam now either.  Or Vala.

Though they had found Evan for some reason.  Not Radek but Evan.

***

Xander was glaring at the being who dared to come into the room.  "You are not amusing me.  We will fix that or you will die."

Xander stared at him.  "You tried that last time.  It didn't work."

"This time we will use the method that you fought so hard last time."  He held up the sword.  "Or you will give in."

"You tried that last time.  Do you remember what happened?"  He stood up.  "Because it won't be happening.  I doubt you can behead me."  The supposed ancient laughed.  Xander summoned the sword.  The ancient stared.  "I'm not as weak as I was then."  He leaned on the sword.  "Anything else on this sick, pathetic exercise in pissing me off?"

"You're not the same as we are," he sneered.

"I don't need to be.  I'm a Traveler, not an Ancient."  Janus laughed.  Xander concentrated, pulling the other magics to him.  Janus escaped, but that was his intention.  Now he knew where the damn door was.  Plus he was armed.  That helped, a lot.  Now he could be pissed.

***

Evan looked around the small hut.  Then at the other six people.  "Huh," he said.  They all stared around and echoed him.  "Anyone have *any* idea?"  He wouldn't mention the clothes.  He really wouldn't.  He'd ignore his own little dwarf outfit too.  Especially the dorky hat.

"Yes," Owen said.  "It's Dawn and Xander shit."  He struggled out of the outfit of choice this time.  He was going to kill someone for putting him in that.  But at least it hadn't been a dress.

"Obviously," Evan agreed.  "Any other ideas?"

"Fairy tales.  I woke up being Rapunzel," Jack admitted.  Evan tried not to smirk.  "If we're in here, who's Snow White?"  They looked outside.  No glass coffin.

"Fan out," Evan ordered.  "Find if it's here.  It should be relatively close by."  They left the hut to find the coffin.  They found one.  It was empty.  "Thank you," Evan muttered.  "Okay, any ideas what we're doing?"

"Waiting or we can fight back," Jack said.  "I'm not exactly passive about these things."

Dawn appeared in a flash of light.  She dimmed, then flashed, then dimmed.  She squinted up and suddenly glowed very brightly.  Whoever left her there.  "Good."  She walked over.  "Break the fucker.  Let's move on and find Xander.  I have the feeling whoever did this, they want him."

"Why?" Jack asked.

"Because it's Janus."  She smirked.  "He *really* likes Xander and Xander doesn't feel calm.  Xander's edging on his temper's core.  Again.  And he wasn't the last few times he lost it."  She shot into the coffin, bursting the glass top.  The whole thing dimmed out and so did the area around them.  "Okay, we've had Cinderella, Rapunzel, and Snow White," she said dryly.  She looked around.  "We're in...." Faith showed up only she had a froufy dress on and was grimacing at it.  "Faith?"

"Yes, Rose Red?"

"Ah!"  She nodded.  "Okay.  Let's go save the bear prince then."  Faith gave her an odd look.  "We've got to save Xander from Janus.  We're bouncing through fairy tales.  Right now, we're in Rose Red.  Sisters who treat a bear very kindly and he ends up being a prince."

"Huh," Faith said.  "I hate this dress."  She fought her way out of it, then sighed in pleasure.  "Hey, I can do boxer briefs and a tank top," she assured her.

Dawn smirked.  "I'd offer but I'm not wearing panties or a bra."

"That's okay.  Dawn juices aren't something I need to share," she said with an evil smirk.

"Good point."  She and Faith walked out, heading to find the bear prince.  The thing was fighting with the little gnome or whatever it was.  Faith took the crossbow from the bag and shot the gnome.  The bear smiled at them and told them thank you, sounding a lot like Evan.

Faith leaned on the bear's shoulder.  "Does this mean I should call you Papa Bear?" she quipped.

"Please don't," he moaned.  Dawn gathered things that was in his cave.  They went into her bag and Evan faded.  Faith and Dawn shared a look as they faded, Dawn grabbing onto her.

***

John Sheppard walked up to the castle.  "No thorns.  Please God, let this not be Sleeping Beauty," he muttered.  He saw the proclamation and paused, thinking back.  "Twelve princesses?  Where...  The dancing shoes," he said with a snap.  "Okay."  This one was only deadly if he didn't remember what was going on.  He went in to put himself forward.   What he saw later that night with the 'princesses' showed that Janus was having a bad day.  Rodney in a middle ages gown....  Not pretty.  The complaining was worse.  Him complaining that this dress was worse than the last one and all those mattresses with the pea underneath was going to give him nightmares - because if this low cut, sultry looking silk and lace gown was worse...  He did not want to hear about Rodney in any sort of gown.

"Enough," he complained back.  "Let's get through this."  He looked around.  Radek was swearing in Chinese about his dress.  Dawn and Faith looked hot in their dresses.  He knew how it went so he followed them down to their 'ball' with the supposed people.  Then the next morning he faced down the king, who looked a lot like the medallions and artwork on some ceilings they had woken up in.  He made his report and they ended up in a courtyard.  Radek turned and gasped, running.  There were guards though.

John stared, grimacing.  "No, not happening."

"He can't kill me," Xander called.  "Don't."

"Shut up," Dawn called.  She handed Owen the bag she had carried, pulling out things.  "Stop them.  I'm ending this shit."  They ran off to help Radek beat the guards and the executioner.  Dawn started to pull power and they all faded but him.  "Yeah," she said snidely.  "No thanks."  She found the crux of the powers and yanked, ending the machine.  She and Xander ended up back in the room, with the bag still in Owen's hands.  "Xander?"  He was in Radek's arms, shaking some.  Evan was stroking his back.  "Guys?"

"He'll be fine," Radek said.  Xander mumbled something then stood up and grabbed Jack's sidearm since he was the closet armed.  He stormed out.  "I think I know where he's going."

"Atlantis, he's to let us help him," John called, hurrying after him.  "Xander!  Let us help!"

Jack Harkness looked at O'Neill.  "So, doorway back to Xander's house?  Before I end up in another low cut frock that will give Ianto nightmares?"

"I know where it is," Dawn said, leading them off.  "I won't mention anything if you guys don't."

"Not a problem," Jack assured her.  "I've seen many strange things traveling with Doc and otherwise, that's ...that just sucked."  Owen snickered at that.  "Hey, not like you ended up in the dress."

"I ended up in too many of them," Dawn complained.

Owen and Jack both looked at her.  "Change," they said in unison.

"Once I do the damn report," she sighed.  "We have to do the Torchwood paperwork after all," she said mock cheerfully.  They groaned.  She swatted Owen on the ass.  "I won't mention the pretty frock you woke up in as a princess if you don't."

"I'm not mentioning any such thing and I'm thinking this wasn't rift related so we don't have to report it," Owen said, looking at Jack.

"That works for me," Jack agreed.  "So Dawn can change immediately."

"It's kinda comfy," she admitted, walking through the doorway.  She went to let the witches in.  "He's killing the ones that sent us there.  And possibly Janus himself."  She locked them out again and went to her own apartment.  Ianto and Gwen were in there cooking.  "Oh, it's team dinner night, we forgot."

"What were you doing?" Gwen asked cautiously.

"Dealing with Janus."

"Not Torchwood related so no paperwork," Owen said, pushing Dawn into her bedroom.  "Change."

She smirked.  "What?  I don't look hot?"

Ianto stared at her.  "I wouldn't mind if you let Jack borrow those pants," he said dryly.  "But I don't want to see *you* in them, Dawn.  Please?"

She smirked.  "Dad?"

"I'm having very un-fatherly thoughts.  You should take a picture for Buffy and your mother before you change."  He stared at her.  She giggled and went in there to change.  "Thank you!" he shouted.

Dawn waved an arm through the half-open door.  "What am I putting on since I need to do laundry?"

Owen walked in and kicked the door shut.  "You have more clothes than some malls."

"Nothing casual.  We've been off for the last few days."

He looked her over.  "You can wear that later," he quipped, pulling out something to make her get redressed.  Before he had bad ideas in front of her father and Ianto.  They'd pick on him for weeks if he even thought too much about the dirty thoughts he was having right now.

She leaned closer to his ear.  "Are you on top tonight or not?" she hissed in his ear, then licked it.

He shivered.  "We'll wrestle for it later."

"Hmm, wrestling.  I'll put on the plastic sheets once the Welsh version of Buffy is gone."  He moaned and nodded.  "Should I keep the shoes?" she asked with a wink and a smirk.

He looked down.  "I didn't even notice them.  Hand them to what's-her-name, the one with the Master.  He might appreciate them on her."

"Cool."  She walked out with him, wearing fuzzy slippers and plaid pajama bottoms, plus one of his t-shirts.  Jack grinned at that, much happier with that look.  "I'm not doing pigtails, Dad."

"I know.  That's fine."  He patted her on the shoulder.  Then he stared at her.  "Can't you...."

"No, I can't.  They're all in the wash.  You guys keep calling me in every time I try to do laundry."

He made a whining noise but Ianto smirked at him for his whining about his daughter going braless.

***

Ronon stopped Xander, pushing him against the wall.  "Stop," he ordered calmly.

"They fucking set it on purpose; they knew what it did."

"Then let us help!" Ronon complained.  "I haven't gotten to kill anything in days."

Xander stared at him.  "They didn't torture you."

"Yes, but that's what friends do," John said when he caught up to them.  "General?" he asked, spotting him catching up.  "Can we kick them into the water for the sharks?"

"Please do.  I don't want them on the base."

"We can send them to the Ori," John said dryly.

"Go for it," he agreed.  "Let him go, Ronon.  He's very pissed."

Radek walked around them and looked at Xander, taking the gun.  "It is not your job to kill them.  They nearly took what was mine.  It is my job."  Xander looked so confused.  He smiled and walked off, checking the gun.

"Doctor Z?  You can't actually shoot," Ronon said, following him.

John gave the boy a hug around the shoulders.  "Are you okay?"

"He was trying to psych me out," he said quietly.

"He freaked us out," John assured him.  He walked him off to follow.  The general had followed Zelenka.  Someone was going to get those Ancients.  They weren't going to make it to the Ori.

***

Evan pulled Xander closer that night, staring at him.  He hugged him and Xander clung.  Radek got his back and it was better.  Xander snuggled in.  "We would've done anything to stop them," Radek assured him.

"I know.  It wouldn't have worked anyway," Xander said.

Evan pulled back to look at him.  "I know you blocked out the last time."

"Who got into my journal?"

"Radek got it, I read it, Landry only read that section," Evan said, stroking his back.   "We were working to see if we could stop it."  Xander nodded, shrugging a bit.  "He'd never say anything."

Radek looked out as doors shut.  "Atlantis?" he called.

"That was her," Nila called.  "There was a small attack there by someone like Dawn."

"Need me?" Xander called.

"No, she said to stay there, Xander."  She went back to her own city, finding Rodney looking unhappy.  "People like Dawn attacked my child's city."

Rodney grimaced.  "Send me back there with a zat?" he asked.

"No, she has it.  They are frozen but does not want them near Xander."

"If you're sure."  She smiled and nodded, beaming him a cup of fresh coffee.  "Thank you."  He tapped his earpiece.  "Sheppard, is anything needed?"

"No, the witches are mad at the Ancients too," he said back.  "They're so pissed it's not funny.  Dawn got called and she's chewed them a new one in her jammies.  She's back home, they're pouting, but they're going to leave Xander alone."

"Sir," Evan said.  "Are they coming here?"

"No, Lorne.  You're clear."

"Thank you."  He hung up.

Rodney smirked.  "I'm on Nila."

"Coming."  He hung up and got beamed there.  "Jon's got a mouth on him.  He chewed the witches a new one in a way I've never heard even Marines do."  He sat down with his own coffee.

"I'd expect both of them to do it and Radek to do it too.   I was surprised the general got him stopped."

"Me too.  Ronon wanted him to go on."

"I would've cheered," Rodney admitted.  "Where are they?"

"They got sent to a small world that has a few handfuls of people farming.  They can make their own way, go ascend there, whatever they want.  As long as they never come here again."

"That machine?"

"Jon took a staff weapon to it.  It blew prettily."

"Thank god and hopefully there's no way anyone can pull up pictures."

"There had better not be."

"At least you weren't in the gown," Rodney said dryly.

"Yeah, not your best look to date," John said with a small smirk.  Rodney kicked him.  He rubbed the sore part but John was still snickering.  So Rodney kicked him harder, rattling the table.  Rodney saved his own coffee but John was still grinning.  "What?"

"I should send just you there," he shot back.

"Nah, I doubt I'd have that sort of fun in the fairy tales."  He finished his coffee and stood up.  "Coming back tonight?  The rest of that lab still needs looked over."

"I'll do it tomorrow.  I need to be here tonight since Radek and Xander are both gone."

"Fine.  We'll lock that lab down for the rest of the night."  He got beamed back and told the generals that.  They were all for destroying the rest of the machines, just in case more of them got stolen and ended up in fairy tales - Grimm or Disney.  Though, O'Neill did joke about seeing a few of them as Disney Princesses.  John glared but being a higher rank meant he couldn't hit him for it.  Though, Atlantis did swat him by beaming something behind him and letting it go.  Ample payback.

***

Xander walked into Nila's city the next morning and immediately wanted to go back to bed.  "Ladies," he told the witches.  "You're out of your usual time zone."

"You partook of chaos magic, Xander."

"No, I got kidnaped by Janus thanks to a few Ancients being fucking idiots."  He stared at them.  "Do I feel like I was doing chaos magic?"

One of them stepped forward to put a hand on his cheek, shaking her head.  "No, you did not do the magic yourself."

"Duh!" Evan said as he walked around them.  "Next time, stop shit like that from being able to be done."

"That is not our calling," the one in the lead said.

The one guarding the others from bothering them sneered at him.  "He should be tough enough to withstand and beat any problem that is sent to him in that manner."

Xander growled and put a hand on her head, sharing that vision with her.  And the first one.  She shrieked and passed out.  "Really?  Let's see you do it, bitch."  He walked around them.  "Leave me and mine alone.  I'm *not* in a good mood and I'm more than willing to take it out on anyone else."

The witches gathered their fallen one and huffed off.

Xander went back to his house.  "I'm off today."  He slammed the door.

Radek nodded.  "Of course you are.  You will sulk all day."  Evan nodded.  "All right, people, let's get back to work.  We still have many problems to solve before normals get sent here to do stupid things."

One of the soldiers raised his hand.  "What happened?"

"Ancient lab, Ancients on Atlantis being bitches," Evan said.  "Machine that took us to their version of a mind fuck."  They all shuddered.  "Exactly.  Xander's not happy.  He's taking today off.  He might go destroy some of the coven he trained with, not real sure yet.  O'Neill and them destroyed the machines after banishing those Ancients to another planet.  Let's get back to work."

They all nodded.  If Harris was that upset, someone would go help him pout later.  Or hand him interesting new plant samples, something to make him happier.  Before he made the cities pout too.

***

John walked through the link in his bedroom, staring around.  "Doing some construction?" he guessed.  The living room area was a shitload larger.  It nearly echoed.  "Xander?" he called.

"Fifth floor!" got called down.

"We have five floors?" he asked.  "Huh."  He went up there.  "Hey, an observation deck," he said, looking appreciative.  He sat down beside the sweaty young man.  "You did a lot of work."

"I pissed off some of the witches and had to make them leave me alone again.  They decided I had to be retested.  They even tried to be mean.  So I ended up sending a few into situations they wanted to beg and scream about.  They decided I hadn't done it to us after all," he said bitterly.  "They tried to hurt Gomez too but I healed him.  Them... they've got some work to repair."

"The other ones like you?" John asked quietly.

"Agreed with me.  A few said they had done it to them too but the witches learned to leave them alone too."  He sipped his soda and sniffled.  "But we're fine.  They apologized."

John reached over to pat him on the arm.  "You did not do that.  You were as much a victim as we were.  Even if you didn't end up in a dress like some of them did."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Rodney's still complaining that his warped mind made him into a girl."

"He had breasts?"

"No, thankfully not.  Just a really pretty ballgown."  Xander cracked a smile. "I can't imagine the fit he'd throw if he had breasts."

"He'd probably be spluttering the whole time.  Dawn looked nice."

"Dawn gave every single man who saw her dirty thoughts," John admitted with a small grin.  He put on the sunglasses that got beamed next to him.  "Thanks, Atlantis."  Since they were his, it had to be his city doing it.  Others came in.  "What's on the new third and fourth floor?"

"Bigger guest rooms."  He took another drink of his soda.  Rodney came up, pointing and staring.  "I got pissed.  Had to work it off."

"Ah!"  He nodded, coming over to sit down.  "Are they fine?"

"They'll replant a bunch of shit, but they won't touch Gomez or Morticia again."  Radek waked over and sat on Xander's legs, staring at him.  He grinned.  "Bad day?" he asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"Very bad day.  I had to yell at people myself."  He laid down next to him, letting Xander cuddle him.  Xander felt better whenever he was making someone else feel better.

Evan came out and snuggled in too.  "Nila, or Atlantis, warn us if someone comes through please."

"Only Jon, who came with you, so far," Nila said.

"She's sounding mechanical again," Radek sighed.

"We need to fix that node," Xander agreed.  They sighed and got up, going to help her.  The others smiled at them and relaxed.  When they came back, Nila's projector was with them.  She was happier, smiling again, and for some reason had changed clothes.

Rodney pointed.  "Chanel?"

"Kavanagh," Radek said dryly.

"He was very nice to program me sixty new clothing options, and a few hairstyles as well," Nila said with a smile.  "That way I could vary my look depending on who was around."  She changed to something more casual and settled in to enjoy the stars coming out with her family.  Atlantis showed up and she had changed into jeans and a t-shirt too.  "You do look nice in those, child."

"Thank you, Nila," Atlantis said with a beaming, happy smile.  "The generals were...how do you say it, freaked out?"  They all nodded, smiling at the two AI's.  "But most of them did get very amused."

Jon came up the stairs, looking at the two projections, nodding.  "Nice choices."  He settled into a free seat with a sigh.  "This is nice.  The coven?"

Xander flicked a pebble at the air.  It glowed for a second.  "I'm still not happy.  When I'm happy I'll bring it down and associate."

Evan patted him gently on the arm.  "It'll work itself out.  They can't blame you for being taken by a demented machine."

***

"What are you?" Calvin Kavanagh asked the dog-shaped thing that just appeared.  He finally had a night off so he was doing some more clothing programming for Nila at her request.  And now, strange, bad things were going on.  It was redish-brown.  It had features like a doberman but an impossibly wide mouth.  It seemed to drool an awful lot but it looked very happy.  It also looked extemely mean.

"That would be Dawn's pet," Xander said from behind him, making him jump.  He patted him on the back.  "He's friendly most of the time, unless you're an evil demon."  He looked at the scientist.  "You can pet him.  Or her, we weren't exactly sure.  Her species doesn't show gender until it's an adult."

"It's a what?" he demanded.

"A hellhound.  Spike won him in a kitten poker game.  It was either him or they'd have to pay Spike in artillery, which he'd have to pay to me in rent for sharing my apartment and eating all my snack food with his blood.  So instead he took him and helped Dawn raise him.  It was right after her mom got sick."

"Did it come to see you?" he asked.

"No.  Maybe not.  Not usually unless Dawn or Spike are nearby.  I get called when strange things appear, usually being begged to bring a sword or something."  He grinned.

The mutt growled and moved between them, guarding her new friend.

Kavanagh stared at it.  "He's not mean to me unless I'm an ass."

The dog stared at him then huffed at Xander, who she let pet her now.  "You should go see Dawn, silly.  She's even found a pack alpha for herself.  She's with her daddy in Wales.  In Cardiff."  The dog nosed the other one.

"What is it doing?"

"Aww, I think she's adopting you as her puppy!"  He clapped him on the shoulder, happy.  "She obviously sees good qualities in you, Calvin.  Grab on, she wants to take you to introduce you to the one who raised her."

"Huh?"  Xander put his hand on her back and they left.  They landed and he was still confused.  "Why did you bring me?"  She nosed him and yapped, wagging her barbed tail.  "You actually like me?"

"She's picky about who she likes," Dawn said.  "Or did you turn out to be a boy, Harry?"  She turned and flipped her tail up.  "Aww, you are a girl!  Xander won that bet."  She reached over to pet her.  "She likes you," she said slowly and clearly.  "That's a very special thing.  Upset my dog and I'll stab you."

"You must be Dawn then.  Xander said you were a lot like his little sister."  He pushed his glasses back up his nose.

She beamed.  "Yes I am."  She went back to cooing and baby-talking at her dog, getting a happy mutt lapping her and barking back.

"So, um, are the rumors true that they eat souls?" Calvin asked.

"We taught her to go after the bad demons and vampires who might hurt me.  That way she was a good guard dog and my precious little one," she cooed.  The dog barked louder and wagged her tail.

Owen came out of the medical area, limping.  He had turned his ankle that morning tripping over his boots.  "What is that thing?" he demanded.  "And who the bloody hell are you?"

He fussed with his glasses' position for a second.  "Doctor Calvin Kavanagh.  I work with Xander."

"That figures."  He stared at the beast.  "What is that thing and did it come through the rift?"

"No, Harry's a very special friend.  Spike won him for me after Mommy got sick.  We raised him together."  She smiled at him.  "Harry, this is Owen.  He's my pack alpha so you have to be nice to him."

"It is *NOT* coming home with us," he complained.

She glared.  "She does tend to only drop by to play now and then anymore.  She's busy stalking and helping the slayers by eating bad demons."

He gaped.  "You're completely nutters.  I thought it was just me going insane but it's actually you and you're projecting, aren't you?"

"Hey!  You don't talk to young women that way!  Especially not if her brother hears and comes to beat you with one of his many pieces of artillery, one of his collection of swords, or one of the battle axes he has hanging all around his house!"

She smiled at the physicist.  "It's all right.  He's just confused.  Because if he was really that mean to me, you'd be seeing him in a body cast.  So calm down, Calvin.  Here, pet her since she adopted you as a puppy."

"What is all the shouting about?" Gwen complained as she walked in.  She stared at the dog.  "JACK!  SOMETHING'S COME FOR DAWN!"  She had *known* it would!

Jack walked in, looking casually unhurried.  "Why do you have that thing?" he asked.

"Spike won him for me in a kitten poker game."  She beamed.  "Daddy, this is Harry.  Harry, this is my sire."  Harry barked and came over to sniff him, giving him puppy looks until Jack petted her.  "See, she's very friendly, Owen and Gwen."

"I'm sure she is," Jack agreed.

"She said Spike trained him to help guard her," Owen said dryly.

"I'm sure he did," Jack agreed.  "Which is another good reason why Spike has to be staked.  Today."  Dawn pouted at him.  "What is Harry?"

"And why name her Harry?" Calvin asked.

"She has very pretty green eyes.  She's kinda mystical since she's from a hell dimension, and her homelife was hellish, and she's a hellhound, Dad."

"Ah," Calvin said.  "You're a Harry Potter fan."

"Yes I was.  I was fifteen, guys."  She whistled and Harry came loping back, jumping into her lap.  "Aww, I missed you too while you were out eating the bad, mean demons who might want to take me from my nest.  Did you get to meet the dragons?"  Harry gave her a look like she was insane so she pulled over a picture.  "Xander's pet, Armand, is a dragon."  The dog stared at it then at her, looking confused.  "We'll introduce you sometime soon."

Ianto leaned around the corner of the doorway.  "Is it safe?"  He spotted the dog when Gwen moved.  "What does it eat?"

"Bad demons and vampires," Jack said.  "Spike got it for her when Joyce got sick."

"Ah.  Well... I  have some sausage left over from lunch if he'd like that."

"She.  Someday she'll make me a puppy grandma."

"That's not exactly how I wanted to become a great-grandfather," Jack decided, walking off shaking his head.  "Owen, you all right?"

"He was mean to her," Calvin complained.

"He's a lot of hot air, kid.  Don't worry about Owen.  I'll kick his ass myself if he tries something."

Dawn snorted.  "Like I'd need the help."

"She is not coming home with us," Owen told her.

She stared at him.  "She's not coming home to live, Owen.  She'd get really bored and probably try to eat politicians or something."  Calvin burst out laughing at that, shaking his head.

"I don't want her where I eat, shit, or sleep," he said firmly.

Dawn smiled.  "Beyond my lap, she probably won't be."  She gave him a pointed look.  "Calm down before I turn you into a bunny rabbit for Buffy to pet."  She went back to cooing at her dog.

Jack came out of the office.  "Xander just called.  Her puppy there is off shift for the evening but if he gets caught by someone official we have to explain how to got to Cardiff."  He went back to take some more headache powder.  Ianto fed the poor beast and promptly needed a bath from all the licking he received.  Owen and Gwen looked disgusted but when Tosh came in, she got to coo over the puppy too, bringing the uptight one into it.  It would do him good anyway.  Then again, so would a weevil trying to attack him in Jack's opinion.  At least he was better now.  Had a firmer grasp on what was important to argue about.

Owen stomped in.  "Stick up for me here, Jack.  That thing has to be dangerous."

"You're sounding like Gwen," he pointed out dryly.  "Though I'm not sure that's the pet I'd want her to have either.  Maybe you two should go buy some fish or something?  I know that's a commitment, but I think you could handle fish."

Owen scowled.  "I'm not that shallow."

"I know you're not.  She's made you relax and have fun again."  He stared at him.  "I doubt her little wizardly hellhound down there will be staying for good, Owen."

"Thank you."  He went down to try to talk to her about getting some nice fish.  She squealed and hugged him around the dog.  Who lapped him too.  "Eurgh."  He pulled back and went to wipe his face off.  Ianto had taken a full shower and changed clothes.  Of course, when he reappeared the puppy came back over to play with him some more.  Ianto was never going to get free of possibly toxic mystical dog drool.

***

Radek looked around the meeting.  "Where is Calvin?"

"Harry took her newly adopted puppy to see the mommy dog," Xander said with a grin.

Radek stared at his boyfriend for a moment.  "Have you been eating the forest mushrooms that gave you strange dreams last time or perhaps we were in the pixie sticks again?"

"Dawn's dog, Harry, adopted him, and took him to see Dawn," he said with a smirk.

Radek sighed.  "What sort of dog can take a full grown man to Wales?"

"Harry's a hellhound."

Radek nodded, taking a drink of his coffee.  "I will brief him later, after it decides if he's a meal or not."  He got back to the briefing, mentally cackling and shaking his poor head.  Demons *and* Dawn?  He'd be insane when he got back.  He did show up by the end of the meeting, hellhound panting like a happy puppy and all.  Xander whistled and got the beast into his lap to pet while Calvin sat down to stare at him.  "Need time for a shower?" he asked.

"No, Harry was very nice to me.  She cuddled and loved on her human mother, she licked her friend nearly into needing to go shopping for something clean to wear from the drool.  She's very nice.  Much nicer than I thought a hellhound would be."

Xander grinned.  "Not all demons are bad, Calvin.  Some have existed nearly forever just because they exist.  They don't want to take over the world, kill people, anything like that.   Sometimes even the more deadly species pop up with one or two that are exceptional.  The same as humans do."  He petted her, talking in baby talk.  She barked and wagged her tail, snuggling into his lap.  Armand came in.  "Hey, Armand, this is Dawn's pet Harry.  She had her before she got Clover."

Armand climbed up onto the table, staring at the hellhound.  The hellhound stared back, looking at him oddly.  Armand was giving her a funny look too.  They sniffed each other carefully then Armand steamed a bit.  Harry yipped.  Armand batted her on the head.  Harry licked her and it was settled.  She was just visiting the nice lap that petted her.  Armand owned the lap.

"It is good that they worked out who owned you," Radek decided.  He gave Calvin his orders and he went to handle it. "Both pets must go now.  We need the petting one to work."  The hellhound yipped and Armand yawned, walking out waving his tail.  The dog followed.  They went to sun on a deck.   The dog sensed Calvin and yipped so Armand led them to a place near him.  They were both happy with that.  Armand looked up and made grumbling noises.

Nila appeared.  "What, Armand?  And aren't you cute?" she told the dog.  "What's your name?"  Armand moved the collar with a paw, letting her scan the tag.  "Ah, Harry.  Welcome to my city."  Armand grumbled.  "Mira is on Atlantis today, Armand."  Armand looked at Harry, who moaned at the lab Calvin was working in.  "I'm sure you can come back to check on him later, Harry.  I know John's helping in the labs today."  Armand roared and got up quickly.  She beamed them over.  That solved a small problem and Calvin would work without worrying.

John Sheppard looked down when the twinkling happened.  "Hi, Armand.  Who's your friend?"  Faith came charging in.  "Faith, is this a problem?"

"That's a hellhound," she said, glaring at it.  Harry yipped and wagged his tail, sitting down to stare at her.  "What the hell?  You're not supposed to be *nice*!"

"It's wearing a collar and tags," John said, squatting down to look at it.  The dog licked him.  "Thanks."  He read the tag.  "It belongs to Dawn."  The dog stood and turned to flip her tail up.  "Oh, it's a girl."  He patted her on the head as he stood up.  He looked at the slayer.  "You might call Dawn."

She did that, getting what she knew.  She came back and stared at it.  "It's harmless.  She's adopted Kavanagh as a puppy too."  Harry yipped in pleasure, wagging her tail again.

"Well, he's a bit evil," John said.  "I don't know.  Armand, ask Mira if she wants to sun with you."  He roared and Atlantis appeared, smiling and being down to pet him.

"Um, that skirt's a bit short," Faith warned.  "You're wearing panties short."  She squeaked and changed.  "Not a problem for me, just a warning, Atlantis.  Mira!" she bellowed.  She came running.  The hellhound gave her an astonished look and bowed to her.  Mira purred and rubbed against the hellhound's cheek.  "I think they want to sun, Mira."  She purred and walked off with her friend.  They found a sunny spot and got comfy.  Armand was on one side, the new friend was on the other and it was a happy day.

John and Faith shared a look.  "I'm not telling Rodney," she said, walking off.

John sighed, going to tell Rodney where Mira was.  In case he'd complain.  Which he would.  Of course.  He found Rodney getting coffee and pointed at the three sunning on the end of a pier.

"What is that?" Rodney demanded, taking a sip of coffee.

John waited until he had swallowed.  "A hellhound that Dawn adopted."  Rodney choked anyway.  "Faith said it's not dangerous."

Rodney glared at him.  "It has to be!"

"It adopted Kavanagh."

"That proves my theory of him."  He stomped out there.  Faith was watching and handed him her phone.  He called Dawn and got the information he wanted.  At least she wouldn't eat his precious one.  Still not a good friend for her.  He went to talk to the pets.  Harry pouted.  He sighed and walked off shaking his head.  Dawn had warped a hellhound into being an acceptable, nice pet.  Only Dawn.  Which was why he now had a hellhound shaped headache.  The doctor gave him some pills as soon as he walked in and he walked off again to go to the lab.  He'd be making sure she was thoroughly cleaned later on.  Not one drop of evil drool would mar her scales or fur.  Especially not her wings.  Then he would make sure she had a little cross on her collar so the hellhound couldn't come back.

John decided Rodney had taken it very well and left it alone.  Before he had to calm down the scientists after Rodney threw a fit.  These new ones weren't as tough as the ones that had went to Nila's city.

***

Nila and Atlantis appeared in the office on the main base, both pouting.  They had sent ahead a projector a few weeks back.

"Those are very chic outfits, ladies," General Landry praised with a smile.  "Are we having a problem?"

"We need our people back together.  My best people are on Nila and hers need Rodney and others very often."

"I would miss my geeks," Nila told him.  "It would be best if we were back together."

"Having Atlantis there could endanger her," Landry said.  "Someone would find her and we want to keep her hidden."

"Some people do know because of the invasion.  They think we're part of UNIT's overhead fleet," Atlantis told him.

"I saw that and got chewed out.  Really, you two can beam to each other."

"Yes but it takes too long," Nila said.  "We're having to beam back for medical as well.  Plus our rooms are still very tiny.  People are jealous that Xander gets to sleep comfortably."

He sighed.  "We still can't have you two that close together."

"I can move closer," Atlantis offered.  "Not very close and linked again but within easier distance."  She checked then looked at him again.  "I can move next to her."  She put up a virtual diagram.  "This would work for us.  If we had to, we could hop across that small breach."

Nila looked and shifted it.  "The new construction crew presently has a scaffold there."  She beamed.  "If we really wanted to, at some future time we could extend the new docking center between the two.  That way we could make a whole new medical bay there that would be bigger and easier to use for the non ATA carriers."

He considered it.  "I'll take it up with Jack and the others.  There is the matter of the budget, ladies, and trying to keep Atlantis hidden for a bit longer."

"It will fail eventually," Atlantis said.

"Yes but we're hoping for it to last for a few more years."

She pouted worse.  "I would like to be near my child and they need us desperately.  Especially Rodney.  Yet I need him too.  Unless I clone him...."  The general shuddered, making his chair move.  "Beaming him that often is going to keep him from sleeping so he'll be more grumpy.  Which means the hellhound that has adopted Dr. Kavanagh will decide to adopt him too."

The general shuddered again.  "A hellhound?  Harris can't stop it?"

"It is Dawn's puppy," Nila said with a smile.  "Harry has adopted Calvin because he needed someone to be a mother to him again.  He has learned a lot since he was kicked off Atlantis the last time."

"Yes, he has.  It is nearly shocking how better he is," Atlantis agreed, smiling at him.  "I could move closer."

He sighed.  "I'll talk about it with Jack."  They pouted.  "Go do that to him."  They shook their heads.  "I'll send him a projector later."  They beamed and patted him on the head before leaving.  He groaned, sending him a message and the projector.   He would let the AI's pout at Jack all they wanted.  That way they didn't do it to him again.  He went to get something to eat so he could forget the pout.  Then he'd talk to Harris about that hellhound.  It probably wasn't good for the city.  Especially not to get too attached.

***

Epilogue:

***

John Sheppard looked out at the newest part of the Ancient/Future City.   There was a new bridge between them.  It was the new medical bay.  Larger and more packed with doctors that could handle things.  The Marshall Islands had ceded that small atoll to the program for their use.  The main base had been moved here from Colorado.  The gate malfunction that had sent the whole mountain, including NORAD, out of phase with reality for sixteen hours had caused a huge problem.  The main base's section of the city was behind them.  It connected the back of Atlantis to Nila.

Atlantis could still come free if she needed to battle in space.  All the bridges retracted back into the docks.  It was a good city.  It was also a good jog from Atlantis to Nila. If he jogged from his room to Nila it was nearly a two mile track to the main base's area.  Some of the people on base had bought small boats to fish from too.  It was good.  A good life, a good community.  The scientists could huddle together and smack the new ones into better behavior.

It was amazing that Kavanagh had taken a leadership role to straighten some of them out.  Of course, if they bothered him he sicced Harry on them.  Rodney was still laughing about him being adopted as long as he kept Harry away from Mira.  Armand would cuddle up with them both.  They had all adopted a sunning spot on top of the medical building.  Harry had somehow gotten knocked up and was busy sunning herself spread out like a woman in a bikini.  Xander was being a proud uncle to the puppies that were coming someday soon.  Kavanagh was growling about it.  Rodney thought it was adorable.

The last time someone had thrown a fit, which had been Rodney, Xander had promised to start planting that screwing plant around all three areas if they didn't stop.  He'd had a migraine but they all stopped arguing for a few hours.  They had drugged Xander's headache and let him nap it off while they went back to arguing over the botany lab.  When he had gotten up, he had kicked them all out of the lab and thrown out the bad plants they had bred.  Some had taken root on the atoll.  They were fairly scary too.  They all avoided the Pegasus plants.  The guys that hadn't been with them had laughed about dangerous plants....not anymore!  Not after one had to be pulled out of the plant after being eaten.

He checked the schedule.  The off duty guys were having a party in the area between the three cities.  Rodney had let an immature AI from Nila go to the new base area.  She had been very happy to have her own city.  She wore jeans, a tight t-shirt, had her hair up in a ponytail, and chewed bubble gum.  Faith had been a bad influence on her.  They liked her though.  She had sense.  She would yell at people doing stupid things in the lab to alert others to it.  She had made Xander make Daniel an office like his was so she could hang out in there and read the books.  The general was exasperated but oh well.  She won because she'd shut things down and they couldn't remove her without reprogramming everything.

John got changed out of his pajama pants and stretched for his jog, heading off.  Rodney was up and fussing in the creation lab.  Radek was yelling back.  Xander was such a bad influence on him sometimes.  The botany lab was quiet, because they knew the botany AI had orders to call Xander to yell at them if they screwed up again.  The rest of them were stumbling toward coffee for their morning meeting.

John shook his head, heading for the bridge that connected them to the base.  He jogged past some of the Marines getting ready for their own runs, nodding at them.  He kept going until he got back to his room and took a shower.  Then he went to find breakfast and his own morning meeting.  Some of the new soldiers were having problems with the scientists.  Some of the scientists were very pouty so he understood it but it was him fixing it or letting Xander have them.  They really wanted to let him do it instead of letting Xander fix it.

Most of them did look very oddly at Xander.  They hated mandatory bootcamp.  It was either him or Xander and they hated Xander more.  So it was good.  His geeks were settled.  The new geeks were all on Nila.  He walked into the meeting hall.  "Good morning, my people," he said.

"Morning, sir," they replied.

John looked and saluted.  "General."

"At ease, John.  Just listening in so I can avoid the griping at the Mountain and on Nila."

"I heard the new ones were being pouty."  He looked at his people.  "As a reminder, we have monthly requalifying this weekend.  All soldiers have it, even if you don't like it.  All scientists have to do their parts on Sunday.  If you don't, you go to Nila and are under Radek and Xander."  They all slumped down.  "Your choice."  He smiled.  "As a matter of protocol, is Harry ready to pop yet?"

"She started to push out puppies last night," Doctor Keller told him, smiling.  "They're slimy even after their first baths.  Kavanagh is cooing and some of us were creeped out but it's fine."

"Okay.  I'm expecting she has two dragon doulas?"

"Yes."  She smiled.  "Mira is cooing at them.  Armand is looking at them strangely but he's just roaring at the people coming near them."

"That's fine."  He looked around.  "Do not let the party tonight get out of hand.   Or else you will be on Nila doing scientist herding."  They all nodded at that.  "Any other events I have not heard about?"

Jack shifted and held up a hand.  "The president is coming to visit and tour tomorrow.  I'd suggest we not have hangovers, people."

"Thanks for the warning.  Is Harris going to be underneath the cities again?"

"Probably on the atoll dealing with the plants that eat everyone but him," Jack said dryly.  "Second note.  Zelenka and Lorne are both going on vacation."

John nodded.  "Is Harris?"

"No clue," he admitted.

"I'll mention to them that they should discuss that then."  He looked around.  "Any other notes?"  No one said anything.  "Then have a good, safe day people.  If you're in an area that he'll want to tour, make sure you clean it up a bit please."  They left.  He looked at the general.  "Does he even know?" he asked quietly.

"No.  I think they haven't mentioned it."  He walked out to talk to Evan.  "Lorne."  He stopped and saluted.  "Quit, kid.  Vacation?"

"Um... yes, sir."

"With...."

"Oh!"  He nodded.  "I'll talk to him today."

"Good idea."  He walked off to tour things.  Some things clearly needed to be handled before the president got there.

***

Radek looked up from packing, seeing the pouty, horrified look.  "I am being nagged by my mother," he said.

"About me?"

"She wanted to meet you."  He looked over as Evan came out of the bathroom.  "You as well?"

"Yeah."  He looked at Xander.  "Why aren't you packing?"

"Um...  I ...."

Evan stared at him.  "It's not fun going on vacation without you, Xander.  Beyond that, his mother wants to meet us both and I want to go to dinner with you somewhere beyond a caf."

Xander relaxed.  "Really?"

"Now."  He pointed at the closet.  "Pack something naughty as well.  I've got the motorcycle out of storage."

"How are all three of us going to fit on a motorcycle?" Radek asked.

"You can sit in my lap," Evan said with a smirk.   "Xander's got the spot behind me first."  He looked at Xander, who was staring.  "Have you never taken a vacation?"

"Beyond the aborted road trip?"

"Yeah."

Radek stared at him.  "When was the last time you took time off?"

"I was trying to get home with the blippy and I stayed in Athens for a bit because I was tired."  He moved closer.  "I have no idea what I'd do meeting your families."

"We're meeting his family, not mine," Evan told him.  Xander pouted.  "I might call."  He pulled him closer.  "Pack."  Xander nodded, grabbing a bag from the closet to pack things into.  Radek huffed and unpacked, refolding most things and choosing other clothes.  Evan grinned, packing his own bag.

"It will be cold at night," he reminded them.  They packed a few sweaters.  Radek smiled and helped them pack things that his mother would appreciate seeing them in.  Then they got beamed to the mainland.  Evan got them into a cab, to the airport, and then onto their flight.  They'd be back in a week; Evan could take them on long rides around the city, make them eat themselves sick, and take some downtime when no one was watching him.  He'd bet Xander would like being on the back of his bike.

***

Dawn sighed as the last case wrapped up, leaning back in her chair, muttering in another language.  Owen laughed but she shrugged it off.  He helped her up, staring at her.  "I'm starved," she told him.

"I can tell that.  You've lost weight again."  He walked her out.  "Team night?"

"Must we?" she whispered.

"No."  He smirked.  "The buggerer and Ianto are going to the pub."

"Feed me then club with me?" she offered, moving closer.

"Feed you so much you finally sleep?" he teased with an evil smirk.  "Of course I will."  She beamed at him and let him walk her out to the car.  They ran into Ianto and Jack outside.  "Have fun at the pub," Own quipped.

"Not a chance.  It's time for food," Ianto said.

"That's my idea too," Dawn quipped.

Owen smirked.  "C'mon, we can fix dinner at your place."  They got in together and headed to Dawn and Jack's building.  A lot of food could be made between the two kitchens.  Of course, neither house had anything edible.  They'd been in the hub for the last three days straight.  So they ordered out, collapsed on a couch, and fell asleep to the movie of the night.  It was peaceful for once.  Owen was one of the last ones awake so he hauled Dawn up and to their bed.  They could be sleeping comfortably for hours.  The older couple could have the couch and hurt their backs.

Around 3am, Owen woke up to a moan and glared at the door, then at his girlfriend. "It's clear you're Jack's daughter," he taunted, stopping her from her sleepy stress relief.  He could do that much better.  And since Ianto was groaning in multiple keys...they wouldn't mind too much if he debauched her some more.

Note:  Set long before the epilogue in story 2 of arc 2.  So the main base is still in Colorado.

3: Mentally Cracked Vacations

Evan Lorne looked around the city below them.  The hotel Radek had picked was very nice.  It had great views.  They were being sneaky because Radek wanted to have Xander introduce him to his former life.  Not that he hadn't snuck and viewed the life review Rodney had done.  He had.  They both had actually while Xander was down with his hip injury.  They both felt it would be good if Xander worked some of that out so he could quit being so insecure now and then.

Not that he didn't have reasons.  Even on his trip he had his reasons.  So they were in LA.  It was a pretty city. Xander had only grimaced and tried to hide the light panic when they decided to visit LA on their way back to the main base.  He had hid it pretty well but they had noticed the slight case of watching around them harder.  They'd have to see what became of it.

Xander yawned as he came out of the bedroom, hugging Evan from behind.  "Morning."

"Morning."  He turned to get a kiss, smiling at him.  Xander was staring over his shoulder so he looked too.  "I doubt that's Mira," he said at the flying creature they could see over the water.

"No, probably not."  He shrugged it off and took another kiss.  "It won't bother us."

"If you're certain."

"I am."  He smiled as he took another kiss.  "So, are we heading further east today?"

"I thought we'd take a few days, explore a bit," he offered.

Xander stared at him.  "What did you two want to see?"

He smirked.  "We thought you might like to see some familiar places."

"Sunnydale's a few hours away."

"We know."  He took another kiss.  "Totally up to you what you show us."

"I've never really explored LA.  A few day trips, a school trip once."

"We can check on Joyce.  You talk to her a lot to make sure how she's doing," Radek said as he joined them from the bathroom.  His hair was still wet and he was shirtless, only a towel around his hips.

"That would mean a trip to Sunnydale and it couldn't be that long because it's dangerous to stay there after dark."

"We can rent a car so no one touches the bike," Evan said with a wink.  Xander smiled at him for that.  They had decided to rent a sidecar for whichever one wasn't curled up behind Evan's back.  They got to hold the backpacks too.  "Did we check on Armand?"

"He's fine.  He's sucking up to Dawn at the moment.  Harry stole him to her when she brought Kavanagh over to study the rift."

"Ah."  They cuddled around Xander, who decided to let them go with him to Sunnydale.  They packed enough stuff for an overnight just in case and headed out. Radek informed the desk they might be back very late or stay over somewhere that night.  Xander took them to a small shop in the city since he hadn't packed weapons.  Evan had even made him leave his necklace with the miniature weapons on base with Faith.

The crew on Nila had been very good.  They had called up with a problem that first day and then Xander had answered the problem.  They decided they were going to solve the problems themselves by being adults and not fighting for a change.  It was nice.  Though most of them were probably worried about Xander taking out any frustration at lost relaxation time on them.

Evan looked around the store, then at Xander.  It was a cute antique store.  He had no idea why they were there.  And the green and orange person with four eyes behind the counter only made him blink.  "Secret passage back there?" he guessed.

Radek looked at a vase.  "This is a good copy," he told the owner.  "It is marked wrong. My mother has an original."

The demon running the store smiled at him.  "I know but most people in LA only want the appearance of antiques.  It makes them feel more wealthy than they are."  Xander came out from walking behind Evan and he swallowed.  "Knight."

"Hey, Huey."  He grinned.  "These are my boys, Evan and Radek."

"I saw the one with you at the invasion," he said with a nod for him.

"Radek's a major brain.  An astrophysicist."

The demon shifted with a quiet moan.  "A new team?"

"No, he's our boy," Evan said with a smug look.  "Former friend from town?"

"No, he probably came to pick up something for Buffy."

"We are headed that way," Xander admitted.  "And Evan made me leave all the weapons behind."

The demon gaped in awe at Evan.  "You got him to leave without weapons?  What did you do to his mind?"

"I made him squeal in pleasure until he gave in," he said smugly.

"Then I got him," Radek agreed.

The demon moaned more loudly this time.  "You are both clearly good for the boy.  Not even Anya could get him to quit playing with weapons."  He let them into the back room.  "Axes are on the right, Harris, the others are all swords."

Xander stared at him.  "I can use guns."

"Summers hates guns, still.  Even the military guys up there have been convinced of that."

"That's fine.  We can still have a personal carry."  He went to pick some out, and found two new axes he adored.  One was ancient from a time period he didn't have one from.  The other was more modern and cute.  Cheap but cute.  "Wall quality," he decided, putting that one aside.  He could order from fan catalogs if he wanted to.  The ancient one had a blade flaw so he pouted.  That meant he couldn't use it in a fight.  He decided he needed a new decorator axe anyway so he got a more practical one he could make pretty later on.  He was drawn to one in a corner, looking under the tarp.  "Toth's hammer," he said, reading the tag.  "No thanks."  He got away from there and found an axe in a locked spot.  "Does this one move on it's own?" he called.

"It's possessed."

"It won't get me."  He touched it and nodded at the frantic voice.  "Want me to try an exorcism?  She'd like out."

"If you want," Huey said, coming back to look.  "She's not worth much.  It's a lady's axe."

Xander nodded, doing the exorcism.  The spirit floated off and he adjusted the price tag.  Xander got given another one and it was heavy.  Caked in dings and rust.  "Why?" Xander asked, looking it over.  It was well-balanced.  It felt good in his hand.

"She needs attention and care.  I figured you could rehab her.  Supposedly she's got some pretty carvings underneath all that."

Xander picked at a piece of crud on the blade, finding some black tracings underneath it.  "Huh. Maybe."  He went to pick out guns, handing Evan something heavier than his base weapon.  "They're more silent and less recoil."  He got his own and went to check out.  Radek came out with his own, getting a kiss.  "Stakes?"

"And a bag," he said, handing one over.  "Since you're spending so large today," Huey finished with a smile.

Xander snorted.  "I spent three-quarters of a mil in a brothel and on porn in a week," Xander said.

The demon gaped.  "Anya was bad for you, man."

"In some ways, yes."  He grinned at Evan.  "He complains about my stamina sometimes too."

Evan nodded.  "She did bad things to his endurance."  They all got checked out went to the rental car.  A modest looking sedan.  They stopped for lunch on the way up at a little drive-in that had wonderful burgers according to Xander.  He had to agree and Radek was moaning during his own.  So it was good for them.  They got to Sunnydale just after 2.  Xander directed them to the gallery.  He got out and they followed.  Joyce was in her office staring at things.  He cleared his throat.

Joyce looked up.  "Xander!" she squealed, getting up to hug him.  "Oh, you're back!"

"Still on assignment but visiting," he offered.  He gave her a squeeze.  "Much more healthy."  She pulled back to look him over  "These are Evan and Radek, my boys."

She looked at them, shaking their hands.  "I will have my daughter kill you if you treat him wrong.  Right after I have Willow turn you into something slimy so Buffy doesn't have to worry about hurting humans."  They both smiled at her for that.  She looked Xander over again.  "You haven't lost weight."

"No, they feed us pretty well on the city."  He sat down beside her on the couch in her office.  The other two went to look at things.  "You know that city with the special labs?"

"I have seen that on the news."

"I'm the geek-to-military liaison and chief linguist there."

"Wonderful!"

"Evan is our military head and Radek's chief scientist."

"Even better."  She gave him another squeeze.  "Are you here long enough for dinner?"

"Yup, and we brought supplies in case we got caught here after dark," he assured her with a grin.

She beamed back.  "Excellent.  Let me call around."

"I was going to bring them to the Magic Box and scare the crap out of people."

She giggled.  "I'll meet you there in a few minutes.  We'll go out to dinner?"

"I can afford dinner," he assured her.

"As can I," Radek promised.  "I never get a chance to use my paycheck these days."  She smiled at him.  "The new boyfriend or husband should always pay on the first meeting of the parents."   She giggled and nodded she'd accept that.

"We can do this Sunnydale style and go to the buffet," Xander told her.

She shrugged.  "That would be fine but their quality has went down."

Xander smirked.  "The old owners lost it?"

"Yes," she complained.  She patted him on the hand.  "Eleanor's is still open."

"That'll work.  It's casual."  She smiled and he got up.  "Let us go to the Magic Box to scare people.  They wanted to meet Anya."  He gave her a wicked smirk.  "Then we'll sightsee so tell us when it's time."

"I can do that."  She kissed him on the cheek and they left her to finish up for the day.  "They are very cute young men," she decided.  "Radek seems a bit older than I thought though."

Xander navigated on the way to the Magic Box, which was up the street.  He walked in and everyone paused.  "What?" he demanded.  "Am I mythical?"

"Yes," Buffy said with an evil look.  She saw the two behind him.  "Your military team?"

"My boyfriends.  This is Evan and Radek."

She gaped.  "Faith didn't say you had *two*!  It's not fair you have two, Xander.  You're taking too many."

Evan smirked.  "It takes both of us to make him happy."

She shook her head.  "Probably done to him by Anya."  Radek gave her an odd look.  "You'll be meeting her soon I'm sure.  She's out for coffee so I'm shop watching to make sure nothing suddenly wakes up and walks out."

Xander looked at something.  Then he reinforced the spells on it.  "It was only halfway there."  She moaned.  "So, saw your mom."  He came down to lounge beside her.  They got the other couch.  "We're having dinner tonight at Eleanor's."

"That's wonderful.  A bit messy but wonderful food," she assured the guys with a smile.  "Willow's back."

"How?" he asked.

"PTB."

"Eww."

"They have her on a leash."

"Good!"

She smirked.  "She's not that evil now."

"Uh-huh.  Did she find ethics?"

"Yup, they apparently bonded her with a witch who was a prude.  The prude's spirit didn't even like her being with Tara so Tara banished her for a few days.  They came to an agreement."  She smiled as Giles walked in and walked past them.

Xander stared.  Giles came out of the office looking confused about five minutes later.  "I didn't imagine you," he said.  He pulled him up to hug him.  "How are you?"  He looked him over.  "They certainly feed you well enough."

Xander smirked.  "Yes, but the boyfriends help make sure I don't get fat."

Giles looked at them.  "I see."  He looked them over.  "If you should hurt him, I will make sure the depths of hell welcome you with open arms after a *very* long discussion, gentlemen."

Buffy snickered.  "They're not evil sorts, Giles.  Evan and Radek are very good guys according to Faith.  She likes them like big brothers and even during that spored thing they didn't even look at her."

"That's even better," he decided, giving Xander another hug.  "In for a long visit?"

"Maybe overnight.  We're having dinner tonight."

"That's good.  Where?  The buffet has been falling down on quality recently."

"Eleanor's," Evan said.

"That's a wonderful place," he agreed.  He let the boy sit down between his boys again.  He smiled.  "Anya was only a few minutes behind me," he warned.  He smiled at Buffy.  "Has he seen your mother?"

"First," Evan said.

"Excellent.  She might've beaten you all if he hadn't."  Willow and Tara walked in next talking to each other.  "Ladies, we do have guests tonight."

"Hunters in to talk about what happened in LA again?" Willow asked.  Giles pointed.  "Xander!" she squeaked, staring at him.  He smirked and wiggled his fingers.  "You're back?  Like for good?"

"Like for maybe overnight."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "We'd like to have you closer."

"We're on that floating lab city," Evan told her.  "Not that far away."

"Good.  Though I'm not sure what Xander would be doing in labs."

"Xander is an excellent botanist," Radek told her.  "He is also our chief linguist and our geek-to-military liaison.  He stops a lot of prank wars before they get started."

Tara smiled.  "It's good to see you again, Xander."

He got up to hug her.  "You too, Tara."  She beamed at him.  He looked at Willow.  "Let me guess, she's swearing about the coven?"

"I think she used to be part of your coven and yes, she's swearing about not getting too close to you."  She shrugged.  "I don't know why."  The spirit inside her told her.  "Oh!"  She smirked.  "She thinks the witches would make you try to breed with her if she was still around."

"I'm infertile," he said bluntly.  "And the only two carrying any babies from me would be Evan and Radek."  He gave her an evil look.  "We found a machine for that."

Giles shuddered at the thought.  "How horrifying.  Did you trip it?  Should we be looking for future nieces or nephews?" he asked his boys.

"Two guys on Faith's team tripped it," Evan said smugly.  "Not us.  We made sure and Xander nearly danced at not being hit this time."

"Thank god," Buffy sighed.  "I'm not ready to be an aunt yet."

Xander came back to sit between his boys again.  "You'll make a fine babysitting and shopping aunt, Buffy."

"Hopefully some year in the future," she said bluntly.

"I'm still infertile," he said dryly.  "Too much hellmouth radiation."

"Oh, I never considered that," Giles admitted.

"Plus the mermaid taint did not help any," Radek said, running a hand down Xander's arm.  "We are going to dinner tonight, yes?"

"Yes," Xander agreed with a grin.  "I was going to show them around town, guys, then we were going to meet at Eleanor's."  They all nodded at that so they left to go sightsee.

Willow finally got to relax.  "Mismira is seriously scared to death of him.  He's powerful apparently."

"He did have a lot of time to study," Tara said quietly.

"She nearly flinched at Dawnie," Buffy reminded her.

"This is three times the freakout she had at Dawnie."

"Ooooh.  So hey, maybe the two guy thing is working out for him.  Anya?"

"I think she's lurking," Tara said.  She looked.  "Yeah, she pounced them."  She opened the door slightly.

"Of course you came back to give me orgasms, Xander.  You're in town and we used to date, plus I haven't had any in a while," Anya's voice said, loudly.

"No, he's ours," Evan said.  "He only gifts those to us now, Anya."

"That's no fair and I can give him things you two can't.  Ass sex can't be as fun as I am."

"Bet me," Xander told her.  "I enjoy it a hell of a lot."  She squeaked.  He sounded smug.  "Radek knows *just* where my spot is and enjoys tormenting me many times a night with it.  Then Evan gets to play."

"Shoot."  She stomped in and kicked the door shut.  "Giles, make Xander give me orgasms again!" she complained.  "He's mine!"

"You two broke up," Buffy reminded her.

"So!"

"They're his now, Anya.  He's moved on," Giles said firmly.

"I would even get between them so they could still have him."

"He's only in until after dinner," Buffy told her.  "Then he's going back to the military thingy he does."

"Poo."  She pouted all the way into the back room to sulk while petting the pretty things the store had.

All the women shook their heads.  Giles just sighed and cleaned his glasses on the way back to the office.  It was all you could do when Anya was in one of those moods.

***

Radek waited until they were farther away to look over at his boys.  "She was quite demanding."

"Often," Xander agreed.  "But she was nice to me.  Didn't try to kill me.  Just wanted sex and presents.  Liked to talk about her past life."

"We should set her and Daniel up.  He'd probably love to get a life history on her," Evan said.

Radek looked at him.  "Are you ill?"

Xander snickered.  "He might academically but he'd probably have to go have beers with Jack to clear his mind afterward."

"Perhaps," Radek said, checking both their foreheads.  They weren't running a fever so he'd see how the rest of the visit went.  Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.  They got shown around the town, including the college.  It was a small, charming town.  The people were friendly for the most part.  All smiling and happy.  By dinner Radek was sure this town had the world's highest rate of prescription anti-depressants given out.

Dinner went well.  Everyone got to know the guys.  Jack's guys showed up near the end to gather Buffy for patrol.   They decided to join her on it for old time's sake.  She glared at the guns but Xander scowled back so she dropped it.  Fortunately Xander had them load with special bullets so they weren't helpless when they were attacked.

***

Evan laid back in their motel room bed later that night.  It was two.  He was exhausted.  They had only gotten in an hour ago, after three hours of patrol.  It was so much worse than any they'd had in Pegasus.  Wraiths had nothing on real vampires.  Who all seemed to want to keep Xander for themselves.  Xander was comfortably using him as a pillow.  Radek was on Xander's backside.  Evan was on guard.  The attacking demons had wanted to kill Buffy and the boys Jack had sent to her in Xander's place.  They had wanted to keep Xander.  He had no idea why.

Xander blinked up at him.  "They want me to be their queen," he said quietly but sarcastically.  "They think I'll be the one who'll get Buffy."  Evan shuddered, shifting to cuddle him.  "It's fine, I promise."

"If you're so sure."

"I am.  I put wards on the doorway.  Unless they take the whole motel, we're good tonight."

"That's good to know."  He let the boy snuggle in better and was comforted.  Even when the demon tried to set fire to the motel to get some free snacks.  Which Xander killed while the fire department swore and worked.  They all seemed to ignore the demon like he wasn't there, and Xander beating him to death was ignored just as much.  When Buffy showed up, they ignored her too.  Even when Evan shot the thing in the head, killing it, they still ignored all that.

Yeah, they were not coming to Sunnydale ever again.

Over his dead body.  Maybe not even then, even if they did have to hunt down his zombie.

****

Xander's phone beeped with a text message.  He grimaced, flipping it open to call him.  "Why did you just call a 911?" he asked patiently.  He listened to the information and winced.  "Who?"  He nodded.  "I'll be right there.  General, we'll be needing O'Neill in a few hours," he said bluntly.  He blipped back to Nila, looking at the being that had been caught and electrocuted.  "Are we sure it's dead?" he asked, looking it over.

"It quit demanding we die," Calvin Kavanagh offered dryly.  Xander glared at him.  "Rumors state that you know what this is beyond knowing that tv show that probably pisses him off?"

"Quite," he said dryly.  He called someone else.  "Ianto, good.  I need a quarantine set up and I need Jack to get every other companion still on this planet in one area now."  Jack took the phone to demand why.  "You remember me complaining about the scientist that wanted to turn Nila into a Tardis?" he asked dryly.  "Well, he struck again and I'm looking at a dalek."  Jack spluttered.  "I need a quarantined area, Jack.  Dead.  I think.  Yeah, well, since he's off playing somewhere with what's-her-name the succuba wannabe, it's kinda the companions' job, right?"  He smirked.  "Sure, you can tell them I pulled rank all you want, Jack.  Let me know when it's time."  He hung up, looking around then at his minion again.  "Anything else?  Sontorans, floating balls, Ood?"

"Floating balls?" he asked.  "Talks in a childish voice?"  Xander nodded quickly.  "We have them trapped in a room but we weren't sure what they are since they're sentient."

"Evil.  There was a paradox involved with them.  Don't worry about it.  Any other odd disturbances?"

"A blonde ponytail," he offered, holding it up.

Xander took it to look over and sense.  "Someone's trying to call Rose back," he said dryly.  "Okay.  Let's get this to them and then we'll take them all to Jack."  He nodded, helping him carry the heavy metal trash can looking thing.  "Stupid bastards," Xander muttered, getting a laugh back.  He saw the curious looks.  "I want this fucking idiot in chains when I call for him," he told Calvin.  "Begging is fine.  We had to stop him a few times on Atlantis.  Even the Doctor stopped him a few times."  He got them into the room with the two floating balls.  "I wanted to blow you guys up *so* bad," he told them.  They made pouty noises.  He nodded Calvin to leave and set the movement area of the spell then sent them to Torchwood.

Jack stared at what appeared around Xander, waving him to blip out of the containment field.  Xander did and he sighed.  "I hated those things," he said, staring at the flying balls.  "You weren't with us then."

"No, I was in my human life and I kept asking why I couldn't blow the shits up," he said bluntly.  They shared a look.  "Since he's off.... watching nova patterns the last I heard....."  Jack snickered.  "I'm figuring they might be panty nova patterns, not real sure."  He handed over the braid.  "This came too."

Jack looked at it then at him.  "Rose?" he asked.  Xander nodded.  "Doc'll be pissed as hell."

"He's not the only one."

"You can blow up those flying brains this time," he offered.

"No I can't.  The laser's in the armory.  Evan locked it in there before we left.  You'd have a faster chance of getting to it."  He dialed his phone.  "Nila, it's Xander.  Are there any other beings that the idiot brought across?  Or anything else that might look like a subspace or other sort of temporal fluctuation?"

"There appears to be two other beings who do not belong here, Xander, but I am not sure what they are," Atlantis answered.

"On you or on Nila?" Jack asked.

"Oooh, Captain!" Atlantis squealed.  "It is very good to hear from you again."

He grinned at the phone.  "I miss seeing you two ladies as well.  What sort of beings?"

"They look a lot like bears but they have scales?"

"I know what those are," Xander sighed.  "Atlantis, teleport them to my current location as given by my phone?"

"Of course I can."

"Thank you.  And send General O'Neill in about twenty minutes please?"

"I can warn him of that, Xander.  You have a better day and if the Doctor shows up, give him our affection."

"Of course we will," Jack assured her.

"Thank you."  She hung up.  A minute later, two scaley bears appeared.  Ianto activated the quarantine over them.

Xander looked at him.  "Who couldn't you get?"

"Martha's on her way.  Mickey's with her.  I don't know if you met him."

"Once I think.  We don't have Donna anymore," he sighed.  "Any others?"

"Sarah Jane."

"I never met her."  He looked at Ianto, who pulled up a picture.  "Cool beans.  Be right back."  He handed over his phone and disappeared.  "Sarah Jane," he said, landing behind her.  She flinched and turned around, reaching for something on her desk.  "Chill, lady.  I'm Xander.  I traveled with him sometimes too.  We have a problem for the Companions to deal with since he's off somewhere else."

"What sort of problem?" she demanded.  "When did you travel with him?"

"I met him a few times when he had Rose, when he had Donna.  Jack and I were with him a few times.  Faith, when he had my team leader for a bit.  Long story."  He grinned.  "C'mon, we're having a conference of companions."

"What happened?" her son demanded.  "I saw you during that invasion."

"Yes you did," he said dryly.  "Actually, I'm on that city with the labs as well.  Can you handle stuff for an hour or so?  We gotta steal your mom."  The kid looked old enough to babysit himself for a bit.

"Fine," he sighed.  "I'll nuke dinner."

"I made stuff frozen," Sarah Jane ordered.  "Do not fry a single thing."

"Yes, mum."  He hurried off.

She gave him a dirty look.  "What is this important?"

"We have a scientist that decided we should have some bad guys who can pull him back here."  He took her hand and blipped them both back, letting Jack have her once they landed to get her stomach settled.  Dawn handed her a rice krispy treat.  "Thank you."  He kissed her on the head.  "Go do stuff."

"Fine.  Annoying big brother.  What are they?"

"They are Dalek and what the Master had," Jack said grimly.  "I hate those things."

She gave him a hug.  "It'll be okay.  You and Xander can blow them up together this time."  She left, taking Gwen and the others with her.  Gwen by pulling on her.  They shut the door.

"Send Martha when she gets here," Jack yelled once the door was shut.  "Better?" he asked her more gently.

She nodded.  "That is not a good ride, young man."

Xander grinned while letting her steal part of the rice krispy treat - they were good for upset stomachs.  "Sorry.  It's attuned to my screwed up energy.  Jack's band was a smoother travel but mine's more accurate."  She gaped in horror, then at Jack, who nodded.

"It got stolen from me and a demon gave it to him.  He set it off by accident."

"For seven thousand years worth of very ...interesting travel experiences," Xander finished dryly.  She shuddered.  "Should've seen the Doc drunk during a May Day celebration we caught in the Celtic times."  She gaped in horror again.  He just smirked.

"I don't want to know," Jack assured him firmly.  "Get the idiot."

Xander left, gathering the idiot.  "Thank you.  Anything else found?"

"Two things," Kavanagh said, pointing at the boxes.  "We had the pro-tem military head search his quarters.  He made those and there was a small thing on one of Nila's engines.  It's in the second crate."

Jack O'Neill flashed in.  "What the hell happened, kid?" he demanded coolly.

"This idiot, who wanted to make Nila a Tardis, brought bad guys," he said dryly.  "Nila, beam us and the crates please?  Including the idiot."  She flashed them there.  "There.  Jack, they found those in his quarters.  One was on one of Nila's engines."  Jack and Sarah Jane got into the boxes with O'Neill's help.  Xander handcuffed the moaning guy to a chair and went to check on the bears.  One grunted at him.  He grunted back and the bear tried to lunge but got shocked.  Xander stared back.  "I told you not to try it."  The other growled and tried to lunge.  Xander summoned his tranq rifle and shot them both.  They took a very quick nap.  He walked back to the boxes.  "So," he said dryly.  "Martha?" he asked when she walked in.  He put the rifle against the table in there.

"Xander."  She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  "Did you get to meet Mickey?"

"Few times," he said, shaking his hand.  "Yes, I'm back to normal again."

"He always wondered if you would."

Jack looked at him.  "He made sure of it."  They laid out the two machines.  "Any idea, Xander?"

Xander pointed at the smallest one.  "That's a shrunken version of a paradox engine."

"Shit," Martha said then covered her mouth.  "Sorry.  Didn't mean to let that slip out.  General."

"Doctor Jones."  He shook her hand.  "Xander, he's technically military property."

"No he's not.  He's part of the people that signed onto the program through UNIT."

"Oh."  He looked at him.  "You sure?"

"Yeah.  I looked him up after the Doctor had to take that first paradox engine, and then we had to take it a few more times.  Then the other time he had to get stepped on by the Doc."  He handed Martha the ponytail.

"Oh, dear, that's Rose's," she said, looking at them.  "Isn't she stuck in another dimension?"   They all nodded.  "How?"

Xander pointed at the engine.  "That would've opened things I think.  Hence the little things with the dalek."  She looked and blanched, taking a step back.  "Yeah, so I think it's our job as companions to deal with this shit since he ain't here."

"Yes it is," Jack Harkness agreed.  "And the general needs to be involved because he's technically his minion of stupid."

"Exactly," Xander agreed, sitting down.  "So....  Do I need to get Rodney?  Or Radek?  That might take longer.  He was taking a nap while I had the meeting with Landry over my translators for the upcoming civilian scientists coming in."

Martha went to look.  "I don't know what the other two do."  She glared at the scientist tied to the chair.  "What do they do?" she asked calmly.

"I know who you are," he said smugly.

Xander patted him on the head.  "So do I."  He smirked when the guy stared at him.  "So does Kissen actually.  Unfortunately he's busy."  The scientist shrank back.  "I can get Faith to join in if we need another opinion," he offered to Jack.

"No, that's fine.  Though Dawn might like to see her again."  Xander texted her and she got sent.  "Hey, Faith."

"Jack, General J."  She nodded at them.  "Who....  I've seen pictures."

"Martha Jones, and this is Mickey," she said with a smile, shaking her hand.  "I heard you traveled with the Doctor as well."

"For a bit, yeah."  She smiled and shook Mickey's hand.  "And...."

"Sarah Jane Smith," she said, smiling and shaking her hand.  "The Doctor certainly picks for beautiful and smart."

Faith blushed, shaking her head.  "I'm pretty but tough.  The female version of Jackie there."

Jack looked at her.  "I can teach you how to use my band if you need to know," he offered.

"No," Jack O'Neill ordered.  "No time traveling devices without authorization.  I still have nightmares thinking about McKay getting his back."

"He really did need a better power supply," Xander said dryly.  One of the bears snuffled, drawing attention.  Xander smirked at her.  "Since he's somewhere watching nova patterns with the anti-Buffy...."  Faith cackled at that.  "Doesn't she remind you of her?"

"Yes!"  She leaned on Mickey's shoulder.  "Exactly."

"Should've met Rose," Jack said dryly.  "She and Buffy...  Well, Rose was less spoiled now and then but otherwise, a lot alike in the ways that count."

"And blonde."

"And blonde," Jack agreed dryly.  He swatted at Xander.  "What are the bear things?"

"I ran into one but the Doctor just walked us away," Sarah Jane admitted.

"They put out human drawing pheromones so they can hunt us as toys and food," Xander told them.  They all groaned.  "Not really nice as a species.  Though, not covered on that show that you prompted, Jack."

"I did not," he lied.  He looked a bit nervous.

Sarah Jane waved a hand.  "Could be worse, Jack.  At least he laughs at some of those."  She glared at the scientist, who shrank down.  "So how did he know?"

"I think it just generally pulled people or things that the Doctor had dealt with," Xander admitted.  "I ran into a few of those.  Had to escape the hunting preserve and get my bracelets back."  Jack shuddered.  "That was after I got mine and yours was safely stored."

"Wonderful!"  He stared at him.  "How are you doing anyway?"

"We're good," he admitted with a smile.  "On vacation right now.  I'm not officially due back until tomorrow.  We were going to have dinner out tonight."

"Let's kill the evil things and then beat the other guy to death then," Mickey said sarcastically.

"That's a plan I like," Faith admitted.  "X?"

"Definitely on the evil things.  The scientist....  I'm mean enough but not creative enough.  Besides, their bodies would be Torchwood or UNIT issues."

"True," Martha admitted, looking at them.  "Jack, do you have room?"

"Yeah, this new center has a lot more room," he told her.

"How did you get this new center?" Martha asked.  Jack pointed at Xander.  Who only grinned at her.  "You knew?"

"I knew why Three got torn down," he admitted.  "After it got nuked."  They all shuddered.  "We stepped into that one.  That's why Ianto did a very good book inventory for me."  They all groaned at that.  Jack O'Neill shook his head.  "So, see, even better than everyone thought," he told his boss smugly.

"Good, kid.  Thank you."  He looked at the bears.  "They're getting up."

"They'd only eat the girls.  We'd be toys," Xander told him.  Jack shuddered.  "So, laser?" he guessed, looking at Jack.

"Won't work on the Utopians."

"Utopians?" Sarah Jane asked.  Martha told her about the Year That Wasn't.

"I spent most of that year working in the resistance and asking why I couldn't blow the fuckers up," Xander told her.  "Buffy was not amused."

Jack smirked.  "Trade ya."

Xander stared at him.  "Sure.  But then he would've recognized me at the last one."

"True.  Probably would've been worse."  He shuddered but Xander patted him on the back, earning a smile.  "Thanks, kid."

"I'm older than you," he said in a sing-song voice with a grin.

"Don't remind me.  The Doctor is still upset with that information."

"Not my fault your band went screwy."

"It works for me."

"Boys, don't make me spank," Faith warned.  One of the bears hopped up and started to beat on the wall.  She walked over.  "Sit down and shut the fuck up," she ordered.  The bear growled and lunged.  The containment field went down.  She got that one down and stabbed within a few moves.  The other tried to attack but Jack shot it.  "Thanks."

"Welcome," he said, putting his gun up.  He looked her over.  "They get you?"

"Drool.  Eww but it happens.  A lot of beings like to drool on me."

Xander nodded.  "I know some scientists that need buckets when you wear those new leather pants."

"Hmm.  Not sure they could stay up in the stamina department, boytoy."

He shrugged.  "Take one for a test drive if you want, Faith.  Then he could pout and discourage the others."

"Maybe later.  When I'm not...entwined."  Xander smirked at her.  "Keep it up."

"Armand still wants to pack him."

Jack shook his head.  "You guys do insane things.  Back to the topic at hand please?"  The others snickered.  "So we kill them then we figure out what to do with the putz," he said.  They all nodded and Xander got to kill the Utopians.  Jack got the dalek taken apart to make sure it was dead.  Then they stared at the scientist and threw out ideas.

Dawn strolled in and looked at him.  "Is this the guy that sent that massive energy wave I had to cancel out earlier?"

"Yes," Jack said.  "Why didn't I hear about that, Dawn?"

"I wrote a report.  Ianto and Owen were there.  Gwen was giving me looks like I ate baptized babies and hers was next.  Tosh was just in awe of me being glowy," she said dryly.  "And Eleven's here."

"Doctor," Jack called.  He strolled in smiling at them.  "What do you want to do with him?"

He looked at the machines, then at the scientist.  "Didn't the last incarnation of me stop you?"

"But you're needed," he said.  "We need you to counteract some of the bad things down here."

"I'm here for that," Xander reminded him dryly.  "He's got a lot higher calling than our issues."

The Doctor looked at Xander.  "Traveling is not the same, Xander."

"Technically, I can make my own Tardis, even though I'm not a native born time lord."  The doctor whimpered, shaking his head at that.  "And by the way, they still hate me.  I saw one the other night.  And an Ood."

"What prophecy was it this time?" he demanded dryly, hands going to his hips.

Xander smirked.  "I can't tell you."  The Doctor glared so he told Jack, who sighed and slumped, shaking his head.  "Can I."

"No, he can't," he admitted, looking at him.  "Let's just say.... the seventies advanced."

"Didn't that already happen?" he asked.

"I took it as a redo," Xander admitted with a goofy grin.  "And then the Sovat thrown in."

"Bloody hell that's going to suck," Mickey said, shaking his head.  "Disco and drunk aliens who think we're all gigolos."

"They seem to like him a lot more than even you," the Doctor assured him.

"That's because I look *fine* in leather," Xander shot back dryly.  "What do the other two machines do?  I know the smallest is a paradox engine."

"Yes it is.  How.... Radek?"

"No.  Xander did learn something after seeing one before," he said dryly.

"I forgot you had seen one."

"Rodney's."

"I still have that boxed up thankfully."  He considered the scientist.  "I can see sending him back to hunter/gatherer days," he said.

"With his skills, he'd take over and we'd have that empire problem you used to worry about with me," Xander said bluntly.  "He's one of Rodney's minions.   He also knows enough D&D to know some elementary tactics."

"Yours on those two planets is bad enough," the Doctor said sarcastically.

"You're the one who dropped my drugged ass there," Xander said bluntly, staring at him.  "I thought we agreed to never bring that up again because you didn't want to."

The Doctor stared at him.  "That was not my intention."

"Still sucked ass," he said.

"Yes, it did," he sighed.  "That was not my intention, Xander."  Xander stared at him.  "It wasn't."

"Whatever," he said, waving a hand.  "Let's just deal with this issue."

"There's an Empire of Xander out there?" Faith asked.

"Two," the Doctor said.

"Not like I was going to let them fucking kill me," he shot back with a glare.  "And there's three, thank you.  Those mechanoids still adore me."

The Doctor shuddered.  "I remember them."

Xander smirked.  "Really?"

"Enough," Jack said.  "You two have the most dysfunctional father/son relationship ever."

"Not quite," the Doctor said.  Xander summoned a book and opened it, holding it out to him with an evil look.  He read it and went pale.  "You can't....."

"I can so," he shot back.  He stared at him.  "Aren't you so glad you got me back to the point of my old, goofy, fun-loving self?"  He smirked.

"Quite."  He took the book to look over.  "When is this?"  He went backward to find a time code in the myth and blanched, looking at him.  "How on earth?"

"Not like I was on earth," he shot back.

"Oh, dear."

Xander nodded.  "Kinda."  He stared him down.  "So, what are we doing with this putz?"

"I say we sink him somewhere he can't do any harm," Sarah Jane said.

"He's already SG," Martha told her.  "And in trouble because of what he did there.  What did you do?" she asked Xander.

Xander blew a kiss at her.  "I kinda freed a slave planet.  Twice.  The French had *nothing* on them."  She looked like she was going to cry.  "In about seven hundred years."

"Starting off that little peace treaty you witnessed's war," the Doctor said.

"I'm not the one who dropped me there while I was drugged, ill, and having flashbacks to the last bad thing," Xander said sweetly.  "And why was it that you could never help me find home?"

The Doctor stared.  "I don't know," he admitted.  "She seems to like having you around.  Your bedroom reappeared recently.  That's how I knew I'd see you soon."

"The Tardis made him a bedroom?" Mickey demanded.

Jack Harkness smirked at him.  "It loves him.  It wanted to keep him.  She even tried to take off on Doc once when he dropped him somewhere."

"She was right to do it," the Doctor huffed.  "Still not good of her."  Xander quirked an eyebrow up.  "It was the right thing to do but she could have warned me or something."

"I didn't know she talked back."

"She doesn't.  She does emote though."  He looked at the scientist again then at Dawn.  "What else did you stop?"

"That time loop from opening."

"I'll kill the bastard again," Xander assured her.  Sarah Jane gaped in horror at him.  "Yeah, that was me backing him up, Sarah Jane."  He looked at Dawn.  "You're still on an energy high.  I can see some glowiness."

"There's been a few rough days," she admitted quietly.  "Very bad cases."

"So go play with my plants at the estate?"

"I am."  She smirked.  "I made Owen help."

"He does have good hands for planting."  He looked at the Doctor again.  "We thought about spacing him.  Without a ship."

"That thought has crossed my mind too."  He glared and the scientist tried to get away from him.  "I don't often lose my temper."  Martha held up the ponytail and he scanned it with the screwdriver.  "Dawn, is there an open hole?"

"No, I shut that shit immediately because it was radiating.  Sorry about her hair, Doctor."

"No, that's a good thing, better than her head," he sighed.  He glared again at the scientist.  "You're going to turn into Xander."

"I never built a paradox engine.  I just solved a prophecy puzzle that created one," he said dryly.

"That was you?" Mickey asked.

"Yeah.  Someone left me at the Temple where it was written.  I could read that language so I read it out loud and it was really simple."  Mickey groaned, shaking his head.  Xander pointed at Martha.  "She said 'they'll help you get back, Xander'," he mimicked.  Martha moaned.  "I'm actually well known for screwing up prophecies."  He looked at the scientist again.  "I say we send him to Poosh."

"No," the Doctor said firmly.  "Or to Arveda.  They might like him as a servant but no.  That's evil."  Xander gave him a pointed look.  "They had a way to get you home," he defended.

"And all they wanted for it was for me to bear their king an heir," he said dryly.  Jack shuddered and walked off.  Dawn followed to give him a hug.  Xander stared at him.  "And no, they couldn't get me back there either.  Some nice time lord named Four had blocked off that access time for them."  The Doctor gave him a horrified look.  Xander stared back.  "The closest they could get was 1991.  So I'd get to help myself redo highschool and all those battles."

"Which would create a paradox," he said firmly.

"Notice I didn't do that," Xander shot back.  "I learned the rule of paradoxes on my own, before I met you, Doc."

"I heard."  He stared at the idiot again.  "General, what did you want to do to him?"

"Beat him to death?" he offered.  "Then get Xander to a shrink?"

"It probably won't help him any," the Doctor admitted.  "As for that one....  I might let you.  I'm not certain."  He looked at the machines again.  "Those need to be locked up."

"We can beam them into the sun."

"No you can't.  One will be important later on," Xander told him.  The Doctor glared.  "It will!"

"That is future knowledge; you know better."

"I also know that the seeds of that are already started.  I ran into Yuri Gresnik again."  The Doctor glared harder, hands going back to his hips.  "Not my fault.  He ran into me in Colorado Springs.  I found out he's a *wonderful* chemist."

"We hired a bad guy?" O'Neill guessed.

"No, he's going to breed you a super army," the Doctor told him.  "That will try to take over the world unless you can destroy them.  They'll be impervious to nuclear contact and you can't really use ZPM energy on the planet."

"However, one of those is the start of another void portal," Xander continued.  "Like our humming one."

"Which would....." Jack pressed.

"Suck in their building," the Doctor sighed, looking at him.  "Without really endangering other places."

"That's good though, right?" he asked.

"Yes, it could be," Xander assured him.  "Or else I'd have to build another one like I used on the Trust's board, General."

"Good to know.  Can you?"

"Not if it's going to leave my hands."

"What happened to that star destroyer?" the Doctor asked.

"I used it on a mega Wraith hive," Xander said.  "In a space battle."

"Radiation?" Jack asked as he came back without Dawn.

"No.  And outside this solar system.  In the space between."

"That's wonderful," the Doctor said with a smile.  "Good idea, Xander."

"I do have a few," he agreed with an evil little smirk.  "I think we should give him to the Aconites."

"He's a man," the Doctor pointed out.

"I know that."

"He's got higher science knowledge they could use against others."

"In ten years they're going to be without that peace treaty," Xander countered.  "I'm not real fond of the cannibals.  It seems fair.  He'd be able to do good for everyone while being treated like the plebe he is."

"Ego showing, X," Faith warned.

Xander smirked at her.  "We'd send you to hand him over.  They treat men worse than slaves."  A golden beam appeared and Armand walked out.  "Thank you, Nila."

"You're welcome," his phone chirped.  "He wanted petted."  She hung up.

Xander scooped up his dragon, cuddling him.  "Hi.  Did you have fun?"  Armand yawned and curled up on his shoulder, staring at people.  "That's Mickey.  That's Martha, and this is Sarah Jane.  They traveled like we did too."  Armand sniffed each one then settled in again.

"The sacred egg," Martha teased, petting him.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "He's beautiful, Xander."

"He's highly protective too."

"I'm sure he is."  She petted him some more.

"The Doctor let you bring back rare creatures?" Sarah Jane demanded, glaring at him.

"He had Armand's egg before I ever ran into him," the Doctor defended.  "And yes, I let him bring back plants.  Most of them want to kill people for him.  We could feed him to Morticia, Xander."

"She'd never eat him whole.  She's not fully grown yet."  Jack moaned, shaking his head.   "She almost ate one of the witches the other day," he told him with a grin.

"Dawn told me."  He looked at the Doctor.   "What would have happened if you had negated his influence in some places by getting him home the first time?"

"There'd be about eighty planets dead," Xander told him.  "Including the Atlantis mission because Atlantis was starting to fail until I started siphoning power into her systems."  O'Neill gaped.  "Rodney never figured it out either, Jack.  There was a bad power drain in one of the underwater towers.  By the time the alarm would have started, they'd have been halfway to sunk again."  He looked at them again.  "Plus we wouldn't have Nila or her labs."

"I'd probably be in my last life by now," the Doctor admitted quietly.  "There's a lot no one else got to see, Jack.  Not even you and Martha or any of the others I traveled with during that time.  God bless Donna for pulling my head out of my bum a few times about that stuff that used to drive me insane."

Xander smiled sweetly.  "How many of those were my fault?"

"You always seemed to be in the middle of them."

"Usually because someone decided they wanted to own me," he shot back.  "Or should I mention Tigel?"

"Please don't.  I admit freely that was an error in judgement."  He stared at him.  "What prophecy?"

"Oh, the Elders are going to fall," he said casually.  He smirked. "Paradoxes are hell when they snap."

"Oh, dear."

"Oh, yeah.  And yeah, snap it will.  They laid more than one trigger."

"But if another trigger gets tripped, won't that do nothing now?" Jack asked.

"They locked themselves between the cords in the time stream.  Technically, the way they did it, and I did verify this with Rodney subtly, they'll pull another version of themselves.  An AU version."

"Crap," Jack O'Neill complained.  "The rest of the Time Lords?"  The Doctor nodded, looking sad.  "Can we stop that one?"

"Maybe," Xander admitted.  "It's up to me to stop it apparently."  He shrugged.  "I don't know yet.  They weren't real clear when it would happen.  Send him to the Shadow idiots?"

"They would destroy his ego," the Doctor agreed, staring at the scientist then at him.  "I need to know in case you need stopped."

"It's past, Doc," Jack told him firmly.  "Long past.  We never could figure out why Xander was in one spot that seemed impossible."  The Doctor gaped at him then at Xander, who simply shrugged and petted his dragon.  "He kept them from springing that trap then."

"Because in hindsight that would've destroyed most everyone everywhere by unraveling time," Xander agreed.  He stared at the Doctor.  "While some have time sense, others of us have the touch when it comes to holes in the stream apparently.  We can feel them, feel the triggers in them, all that."

"Which would mean solving a few of those," the Doctor said quietly.  Xander nodded.  "Why you?"

"I picked it up," he said dryly.  The Doctor glared.  "Why do you think it was me, Doc?"  He walked off, heading back to Colorado.  They had it for now.  He and Armand went back to the meeting.  The general was not looking amused.  "Sorry but the idiot who tried to turn Nila into a Tardis pulled bad guys.  Like a dalek."  General Landry moaned, shaking his head.  "We had to have a conference to figure out how to stop him.  O'Neill's there."  He sat down.  "So, I'm getting someone who speaks Russian?"

"You are since you're getting a few Russian scientists."

"Would that be Yuri?"

"It would.  You know him?"

"Yeah, I stopped him doing a Hitler a few centuries from now."  The general opened his antacids and took a few at once without chewing.  Xander smirked.  "He's a very gifted chemist."

"I know."

"He can do well beyond what we can do at any given time, General.  I have no idea why he's here."

"He told me he felt he got called to do good for the universe."

Xander nodded.  "Yay him.  I wonder which version of good it is."  He looked over as the phone box appeared.  The Doctor opened the door.  "Did you send Yuri?"

"Why would I have?"

"Probably to keep me from doing anything."

"You're paranoid," he warned.

Xander stared at him.  "Really?  Ya think?" he shot back.  Armand nipped him.  "I've always been this way.  Since I was about six."

"I think we should talk, Xander."

"You brought it up."

"You still need...."

Xander stood to stare  him down.  "I need to what?  Get over it?"  He stared him down.  "Did you?"  The Doctor sighed, shaking his head.  "Then you want what, Doc?  To chastise me?"

"I was going to let you talk to me about it so we could settle some things," he said quietly.

"You can't even manage to apologize for them."  The Doctor looked stunned.  "Apologies go a long way.  But only if they're true and a few times I know damn well you used me.  And for some strange reason I'm used to that.  Oh, yeah, I've been there before as the bait."  He stared him down.  "I'm intentionally forgetting about them most of the time so I can focus on the good points.  All the things I learned, all that.  That way I don't have to go back to scary, fragile Xander.  Ever again."

"I understand," he said, moving closer.  "Can we please go talk about this in private?  I doubt you want him to know."

Xander shrugged.  "He sent me to be a sex slave to get Cam free."

"Dear lord," he muttered.  He pulled the boy into a hug.  "Come on.  She misses you.  She moved your garden closer again."  He hauled him into the Tardis to do some therapy.  They really did need to get some things straightened out.  Jack and Martha had been right when they had all-but ordered him to.  Dawn as well when she had pushed him into the Tardis and shut the door in his face with an order to not come back until he had gotten it right.  The Doctor followed Xander to his garden, wincing when the door that hadn't been there before slammed in his face.  "Talk to me?"  It opened for him so he mentally thanked the Tardis.

"Are you going to apologize?"

"I am," he assured him.  Xander stared at him.  "I should not have dropped you that way, Xander.  I was frustrated and ... well, being human at the time I suppose."

Xander continued to stare.  "Then you didn't give me to them on purpose?' he asked quietly.

"No, I had no idea it'd be that bad.  I was hoping since we couldn't get you home you could find someone decent there and make one.  I had no idea they were that evil."  He moved closer, carefully stepping around the plants.  He knew half of them would rip into him if they felt it necessary to protect Xander.  He had bled and sweated into them too many times.  "That was not my intention.  Or, well, his intention."  Xander continued to stare.  Armand snuffled at him.  "He knows that as well."

Xander sat down, letting the plants move around him.  "It was a blessed curse, the same as getting his band was, Doc.  The same as being in the project is.  They still spread rumors that I'm descended."

"I know you're not."  He sat down across from him.  Carefully out of range of the poisoned thistles that were all but trying to crawl into the boy's lap.  "I thought you could find some happiness.  They never seemed that bad to me.  I couldn't let you off somewhere really happy because then they would use you that way."

"A few times you could've just asked.  I would've made another try for home," he said quietly.

"If I had been thinking I might have."  He shifted closer.  The thistles let him for now but there were a few others that were shifting toward him.  "It was never my intention to harm you in any way, Xander.  Outside of that time I spanked you for taking up with an important historical figure and making her mope over you instead of her future husband."

"You dropped me where she bought me," he snorted.

"You are worth so much more than that and I realized that.  It was like you were the source of all frustrations, everything that was going oddly at the time.  You still frustrate me now and then but I learned to love you for it.  Even back then, I did learn."  Xander shrugged, petting his plants and his dragon.  The Doctor sighed.  "It did change."

"Not really.  You seemed pretty frustrated with me just now."

"You seemed to be usurping."

"You were busy!  Of course I asked the other companions what do with him!"

"Which I agree, it was completely wise of you," he assured him with a smile.  "Usually you and Jack just deal with it and I hear later.  That can frustrate me even more."

"What did you hear about this time?" he asked dryly.

"I came to see why Jack was noted as being in a rebellion in the eighteen hundreds," he sighed.

"Because he got stranded there?"

"Before then."

"Because the Tardis took him there and dropped him while you were sick."

"Oh."  He blinked a few times.  "She did?"  Xander nodded.  "When I had that flu?"

"Yup and it was food poisoning.  You got mad at him fussing so she dropped him off."  He went back to petting things.  His garden needed tended.  No one had weeded it and somehow he had slugs.  He flicked one into the hallway.

"Eww," the Doctor complained, going to get it and flush it.  "How did we get toxic slugs?"

"It's your Tardis."

"Good point."  He came in to help him.  Xander felt more at ease with things than he did people some days.  They worked silently until they heard the door slam.  "We landed?" the Doctor complained, getting up to go look.  "Martha, Jack."

"Are you hurting him more?" she demanded cooly, glaring at him.

"I apologized."

"He did," Xander called.  Armand ran out to climb up Jack and get petted.  "Armand, he's not a tree."

"I probably smell like Ianto," Jack called.  He petted the dragon anyway, smiling at him.  "It's good your father has you to make him happy, Armand.  You and his boys."

"He has boys now?" Martha demanded.

Jack smiled.  "Evan and Radek."

"Oh, I see.  Xander, why didn't I get told you were dating?"

"Because you'd fuss over them."

She went to lean into the garden.  "Someone forgot to weed."

"And gave us slugs.  Not even tasty ones."

"Eww."  She came in to give him a hug.  "Are you all right?" she asked softly.

"I'm okay," he sighed.  He looked at her.  "It's all past hurts."

"Nothing hurts like the past."  She kissed him on the temple.  "You need to pop in for tea more often."

"Your boy might mind."

"He might growl a bit," she said with a wink and a grin.  "But it'll only get me pounced.  He thinks you're like Jack."

"No, I'm not like Jack."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "You can make him jealous with me if you want."

She beamed.  "I said you flirted, not that you were stupendous in the sack or anything."

"You should tell him about Eren 12," the Doctor said as he and Jack walked in together.

"No, I doubt he needs to hear about Xander being picked up while having travel sickness and them deciding he's a champion stud at a brothel."  She petted him.  "Do you want to talk?"

"I'm good, Martha.  Thank you.  You might tell Sarah Jane to quit freaking out about me."

"I think she was more stunned at Faith being so blunt," she said with a grin.  "She thinks you're like Jack too."

"I only met Mickey the once," Xander reminded her.

"I know."  She petted him again, smiling at the snuffling Armand was doing.  "I can pet him.  His boys won't mind me.  We're friends, Armand."  She petted him too, straightening up again.  "Xander, can you really build your own Tardis?"

"Yup.  I won't but I can figure out how to."  He smirked.  "Not on Nila either."  That secret he was keeping for a bit longer.

"Good.  That might freak out your generals."  She smirked.  "They do get quite huffy, like mine do when I do when I do things they don't expect.  Now, do you have anything for us, dear?"

"Landry said no."

"We'll have to straighten that out anyway," she decided.  "It might've been better if you had come to us."

"I would've been bored shitless in the lab, Martha."

"True, but you could've headed security and gone on a few projects of ours."  She tweaked Armand's ear.  "You are very good to your human.  We adore you for that, Armand."  She winked at Jack and left.  Sarah Jane was still worrying at Ianto.  "He's fine, Sarah Jane.  Xander's...  Traveled more than the Doctor has.  He's older.  He's closer to seven thousand and he's not a time lord.  He's a human who got changed and turned immortal.  In many ways he's a lot like Jack."

"He learned how to talk about things better than Xander did," Dawn said, handing her the cup of tea Ianto had made for her.  "There you go."

"Thank you, Miss Summers.  How is your education going?"

"Poorly," Owen quipped.

"It's not my fault I know more than my current teachers," she complained.  "And *who* was it that bribed me into taking Eastern Philosophy?"

"You could use some zen," Ianto reminded her.

"I could use better sex," she complained.  "Cases are hell and I have homework on top of it.  I'm too damn tired to go have fun.  It's not the Sunnydale way."

"Well, then close the stupid rift," Owen told her.

Dawn looked at him.  "You know, I probably can."  He groaned, shuddering some.  "So how about you make dinner tonight, Owen?"

"If I must," he complained.

"I want a bubble bath and then some fun.  Step-da, is that okay?"

"Go," he encouraged.  "As long as you don't call me that again."  She smirked and walked off dragging Owen by the wrist.  Ianto shook his head at Martha's gape of horror.  "Oh, yes.  She did win her crush.  They're quite....gagging really," he admitted once he was sure they were gone.  He smirked.  "She's too much like her father."

"Really?" Martha asked dryly.  "Is Xander her father?"

"Jack is.  The ones who created her mystically created self used him."

"Oh!"  She blinked a few times.  "No wonder she was wearing such flirtatious clothes!"

"No, she was trying to tempt Owen into making her forget she has a math test tomorrow."

"I used a boyfriend for that a few times myself," she admitted.  She looked at Sarah Jane.  "You've heard about Sunnydale?"

"A few times, especially after that invasion in LA."

"Dawn comes from there.  The other slayer is her sister."  Faith came out of the back.  "Oh, dear, she was going to have dinner?"

"No," Faith snorted.  "I told her to pounce her man in a closet since it was clear he needs the little blue pill to keep up."

"No he doesn't," Gwen complained.

Faith looked at her.  "It's kinda clear he's been falling down on the boyfriend duties.  Work and all that probably got in the way.  It sure as hell did when I was slaying instead of military duties."  She looked at Martha again.  "Got any young, frisky pups I can break?"

"Six or seven dozen actually but we won't be rotating anyone out to the city for a bit."

"Ehh, I'm on the other one."

"Ah!"  She smirked.  "They do become like an extended family.  Then Mickey makes them mother hen me to death."

"You gotta love the big goobers for it though," Faith agreed.  "Y, you got any manpussy hiding around here?"

"My name starts with an 'I'," he said with a smile.  "And no, I don't know any who would do without expecting to keep you."  The tardis took off.  He sighed.  "Left me with paperwork again," he complained.

Martha swatted him gently.  "They needed the talk."

"Clearly.  I should warn Evan."  He texted him then smiled at the answer he got back.  "The general let him be kidnaped and then told them.  That was polite of him."  He put the phone up.  "Sarah Jane, would you like some tea?"

"Please.  Any idea how I can get home?"

Martha waved a hand.  "I'll arrange it, Sarah Jane."  The two women smiled.  "Should we worry about this idiot starting a new apocalypse?"

"No," Ianto said.  "Dawn will kill him for breaking into what little free time we give her."

"Afraid she'll get stuffed up?" Martha teased.

"Not while dating Owen," he shot back with an evil smirk.  "He does know all the basics of contraception."

"Wonderful of him."  Sarah Jane giggled.  "She's young.  I remember being that young and judging men on the size of their bulges."

Ianto coughed.  "At least now you have one who understands some things."  Mickey came out of the bathroom.  "Better?"

"Much, thank you.  So, Sarah Jane, getting home soon?"

"Perhaps.  I'm hoping my son didn't decide to burn down the house by baking chips."  She finished her tea.  "I should do some temp work now and then for you lot," she told Ianto.  Who smiled back.  "I'll talk to Jack this week if he's back by then."

"Usually so," he assured her.  "Or else he has to cook his own dinners."  The girls giggled and took Mickey with them.  Sarah Jane got home quickly and they went back to work.  Ianto looked at the ladies.  "Well...."  He waved a hand.  "It's quiet.  Go.  Do girl things."  They snorted but left.  He tidied up and set the alarms to notify him of anything unusual.  Then he went to take his own bubble bath and read for a bit.  It had been hectic recently.  Perhaps he'd talk to Owen about giving Dawn something to stop her cycles since it appeared to be correlated.

***

Xander reappeared in the Tardis in a flash of light.  "Thank you for dropping me with the Ori," he said dryly.  "They much appreciated it and would like you to visit soon."  He disappeared again, landing in the Mountain, where Evan was complaining.  "We have a few less threats now from the psycho God posse."  He smirked at Evan.  "The Doctor wanted me to have destressing time so he dropped me in a temple.  Which ended up being Ori.  We had a long talk about how sometimes you get really tired and then one last battle shows up and you kick ass then walk into the sunset.  They're very happy with their new religion and patron saint."  He smirked at Landry.  "Let me go scare the crap out of Yuri.  Then I'll take my last night off?"

"You're due on Nila in two days," the general told them.  Evan smirked at him.  "You still have to pick new soldiers."

"I already have but you didn't like two of my choices, sir."

"Martha said we're getting UNIT people in a few months," Xander reminded them.  He sashayed out, finding Radek and the new guy together.  "Oh, Great One of the Advanced Races," he said sarcastically as he walked into the lab.

Yuri stared at him.  "You work *here*!" he demanded.

"No, I work on Nila.  You do not work on Nila, nor shall you because I know what the fuck you used to do before someone drop kicked you into this time zone," he said bluntly.  "And if I have to watch you, so be it."

"I understand.  I will not do what I had done.  I told you I felt called to do something good for humanity so they would survive this century."

"Fine.  Deal with the wraith then.  You're a biochemist.  Unengineer them."

"I have started.  They are fascinating but disgusting.  How is the Doctor?  And Jack?"

"The Doctor decided I needed some Zen time so he dropped me in an Ori temple."  Radek gasped, pulling him closer to check over.  "Not a lot of fighting, Radek, and then I told them about some amazing saints."  He smirked evilly.  Then at Yuri, who shuddered.   "Hey, Harry?"  She appeared with her human puppy.  "This is Yuri."  She sniffed him then growled.  "I know.  He does not get near Dawn."  She barked and wagged her tail, letting Xander pet her.  "Good girl.  Let Dawn get some free time snuggling in.  She's in heat."  The hellhound howled and took off with Calvin again, going back to her sunny spot. Xander stared at him.  "Understood?"

"Greatly, Xander."  He bowed.  "You are in that mood again."

"Yes I am."  He looked around.  "Did he bring Armand back?"

"He's on Atlantis sucking up to Faith," Radek said, staring at him.  "You are in bad mood," he said quietly.  "The same sort that gets you called King by ancient beings."

Xander nodded.  "I'm more in a 'fuck this bitch and let's screw it' mood," he admitted, taking a hug.  "But I missed you."

"I missed you too."  He smiled.  "We will have dinner off-base?"

"Yes.  Please?"  Evan walked in with John behind him.  "You got free of your city?"

"The General wanted to know what this one had done."

"He's decided he's got a calling to make sure humanity goes on so he can get back to his right time zone and create a new advanced race."

"Ah!"  He nodded, smirking at the chemist that was shrinking away from them.  "Is he going to cause us problems?"

"No, because I'll have him eaten," Xander said bluntly.  "He's going to unengineer the wraith for us."

"A lot of people would like that."  He looked at him.  "We will be watching."  He looked at Xander.  "Want to talk about it?" he asked quietly.

"Nope."

"Okay."  He patted him on the back of the head.  "You can come talk.  Remember that."

"I'm fine."

John smirked.  "Many people said that about you in those evil leather pants of yours."

"We have time off tonight," Evan said.

"We will go to dinner," Radek agreed.  They left together.

***

Rodney looked up as the trio appeared on Nila.  "You three look like you made the most of your vacation and could now use one," he quipped, smirking evilly at them.

"Is not my fault," Radek defended, waving a hand.  "They are evil tempters of virgins and fake gay boys."  Evan snickered at that.  "And Xander is worse."

"Not my fault a few of them decided I was for rent.  Thank you for defending my honor, dear."  He blew a kiss.  "So, are my new minions here?" he asked with an evil smirk.

Rodney stared at him, cup halfway to his mouth.  "You have that evil look on.  What did you do?  Does it have anything to do with a complaining email I got from Dawn about a new religion that has a patron saint that could live 13 lives before passing on?"

"Probably.  He wanted me to have some contemplation time."  He strolled off.  "Heading to unpack, Mean Uncle Rodney."

"That's fine.  Your minions will be waiting in the morning.  Yours as well, Radek."

"Thank you.  Evan?"

"Give me ten to check in with my temp."   He watched them walk off then looked at Rodney.  "Dawn complained?"

"Apparently her father whined at her about it."

"Pity."  He went to check in.  "Childers."  He snapped to attention, earning a smile.  "Bad week?  You look tired."

"New geeks nearly fell off the city, Major."

Evan snickered.  "Yeah, you get those sometimes.  Reports?"  They got handed over.  "Big problems?"

"Kavanagh's 'mother' has been freaking people out all too often."

"Apparently he needed a mother.  It's keeping him acting more human and good.  Before he was a complaining ass kisser who lived by the rule book that was written by people who had never been in a lab or in combat.  Now he's much better."  He walked off reading.  A few disciplinary reports.  Mostly got to shift late due to a hangover.  He ran into the lurking engineer.  "You are better now that she's adopted you," he said as he walked past him.

"Thank you.  I think."  Harry nuzzled his hand so he petted her.  "I guess that's good," he told her.  He smiled and petted her.  "C'mon, let's get some ice cream."  She trotted ahead, making him laugh.  "Anxious?"  She barked so he followed more quickly.  She did love the soft serve ice cream they had.  And Mango sorbet for some strange reason.  He wasn't sure what mangoes were like in hell but apparently sorbet was better in her book.

***

Dawn walked into Jack's office the next morning, seeing the pout.  "Well, you did leave him with paperwork."

"I know.  Not the problem."  He looked at her.  "You look tired."

"I am tired.  My night off got canceled by a weevil attack on that muffin shop up the street."  Jack smirked at that, shaking his head.  "And now Owen's pouting.  I haven't been able to figure out why."  She got into his desk drawer and found something, putting it into her jacket pocket.  "I told my teacher that I desperately needed a day off to have some fun due to work.  He granted it with a laugh.  So I'm going to the estate.  Owen is going with me, even if I do have to drug him, and we'll be back later to rift watch or whatever."  She strolled out, going to the medical bay.  He was giving her a dirty look.  "Xander told me I haven't weeded recently.  I was thinking a picnic?"

"I had some spotty ideas for later."

She smirked.  "We can incorporate those I'm sure.  Unless it was going to be a guy's night out?"

"No.  I believe the other two men are going to shag themselves stupid."

"That's not a bad idea," she agreed.

He sighed.  "It's...."

"We're going on a picnic," she said bluntly.  "Remember, I can get us back here if I need to."  He nodded, grabbing his jacket to go out with her.  They passed Gwen on the way in.  "Have fun with the paperwork."  She got Owen into he car, which was new.  He looked at her oddly.  "Not like I can bike around town to scenes."  She started the car and drove them out of the city to a smallish estate house with a huge garden and greenhouse.  Dawn got them into the greenhouse, pulling dinner out of the trunk.  Owen went willingly to see what was in there.  She did a bit of spell casting to soundproof the area they were in and then called two imps to go weed the garden for her.  They were surprisingly good at it since Xander had laid a spell teaching anyone how to weed properly for him.  She laid out lunch and fed him the first bite.  He moaned, leaning closer.  She kissed him.  "I have fantastic ideas," she said with a soft smile.  "And I'm going to close the fucking rift later if you want to help."

"Temporarily?"

"Probably.  I'd like permanently but I can't."

"Ianto thinks it's linked to your cycle."

"If that was true, the week we had dead three weeks ago would've been hell."

"True."  He took another kiss and let her do all the mushy stuff she wanted.  He didn't mind being treated like the king of the harem at all.   He spread out on the blanket, relaxed by the scents around him.  "What are those blue ones?"

She got up to look.  "They're like lilacs, which are supposed to be good for aromatherapy."  She sat down again, getting comfy while nibbling between feeding him.  She was slowly working him up to a good, long, hard pounce.  Maybe she'd even make him squeal again by mounting him like the stud he was.  Though, she had thought he was needy.  Apparently she had the sex drive of a teenage guy.  She had no idea who had possessed her to taint her, but it appeared so.

***

Owen limped up to Jack that night, growling at his amused look.  "Your girl is barmy," he said quietly.

"You're welcome," Dawn quipped from her desk.

"Do you need driven to a clinic?" Jack asked quietly, staring at him.

"No!  But she's worse than I was at twelve!" he hissed.  "Worse than you are now!"

"Dawn, remember I need him to work now and then please?" Jack called.

"He can.  Not like he's not grinning."

"Oh, he is," Jack assured her, smirking at Owen.  "Good lunch?"

"Not a bad bit of food.  Or pouncing.  And for some reason she's pouncing me more."

Jack leaned closer.  "She thinks you'll get bored if she doesn't," he said quietly.  "If you'd take her better in hand, I'm sure she'd be a willing and active sex slave for you, Owen."

Owen smirked.  "We have tomorrow off, right?"

"She has a math test."

"Maybe after that then."  He limped off.  "Dawn, were you going to do that thing?"

"Yup, nearly ready," she called.  She pulled up the rift monitor and concentrated.  The spell wasn't that hard.  It snapped shut.  "There, that should give us all a few days of rest," she announced.  "If not, I'll go bleed into the damn thing so I can nap later."

Owen stared at her then changed his mind about what she really needed.  He knew some of the best ways to get Dawn to sleep involved reading to her.  Which suited him since he was sore.  She had been mean and made him beg for nearly an hour before she finally got off him.  He slapped himself hard because he was sounding like a wife again.  Well, he'd have to remind her she was the woman in their relationship and she was going to be doing most of the squealing in pleasure for him soon enough.

***

Xander looked up from scrubbing up a pot for some bigger plants when a genial British sounding voice came his way.  He went back to scrubbing.  It needed to be done and his botanists were being mean today.

"Radek, may I borrow my apprentice?" the Doctor asked with a nice smile.

"Only if you do not dent him this time," he said, staring him down.

"Well, I may paddle him a bit but I won't leave him unable to cuddle.  How about that?"

"No denting at all."

"Fine.  We merely have to talk about how some planet suddenly has a cult."  He walked over and hauled Xander up, walking him off.  "Xander," he said dryly.

"You put me in a temple full of Ori," he said dryly.  "So I kindly beat the psychotic ascended's asses and their priests.  They needed someone to take the place of them."  He smirked.

"It is incredibly mean to have them start a religion to me."

"Turnabout and all that," he smirked.

"I didn't tell them to worship you.  You're the one who got a bit tipsy and helped in their fertility ritual.  Though I still have no idea how every woman you touched got pregnant by her man later that night."

"Magic.  Accidental admittedly but still."

The Doctor shook his head.  "I had no idea they were Ori.  Sorry about that."  Xander just gave him a mean smirk.  "You told them all about me, didn't you?"

"More than Martha did that year that wasn't," he agreed smugly.  "They have holy pictures.  They have a nice holy object in the tardis."

"What if another one lands there?" he pouted.

Xander snickered.  "They're locked on Gallifrey, Doc.  Why would they?"  He smirked.  "Though, they mostly seemed to like Ten since his temper fit in with how they had gotten Origin fed to them.  So you have to handle some apocalypses and they'll put you next to him."

"You told them that much?" he demanded, looking amused.

"Yup.  Sure did."

The Doctor huffed.  "You are a funny minded man, Xander Harris."

"Awww, thank you!"

"I'm not sure that was a compliment.  You know, I know some lovely hospitals where you could have a good, long, soothing rest."

"He needs laid more than he does sleep," one of the female scientists said as she walked past them.  "He gets less goofy the more Radek plows him."

"Who says it's Radek doing it?" Xander said dryly.

She gave him a dirty look.  "Because I've seen you both at breakfast and noticed which one couldn't sit right," she shot back with a smirk of her own before walking off.

"Sometimes," Xander admitted at the Doctor's amused look.  "But only sometimes."

"I really should paddle you.  Nine would've been appalled and Ten would've had a heart attack in at least one heart.  If not both."

"Donna would've cackled until she got sick.  Rose would pout but Donna would've loved it and I sent it to Martha too.  Including the newest hymnal."

The Doctor shook his head.  "You are mentally touched, Xander.  We need to cure you."

Radek walked past them.  "Is my job now."  He gave him a pointed look.  "Really is."  Around them, alarms went off.  "What now?" he demanded, starting to swear as he headed for the control room.  It was pretty evident what was going on.  The city was fading out into a silvery flow, like water was cascading around them.  "Is not the shields," he called.  "Everyone get inside!"

"No, it's the time stream," Xander called.  "Is that fucking idiot back?"

"No," someone else called.  "But his minion of stupidity is!"

Xander looked at the Doctor.  "How do you pilot a city through the time stream?"

"I can barely get the tardis to listen to me," he admitted, following him to the control center.  They had the idiot in a corner, sobbing in misery.  He was begging that he didn't want to do that, he was just following his lab partner's orders while he was on vacation.  The Doctor looked around.  "All right then," he decided.  "The Tardis is on the lab base.  Is that with us?"

"No, Doctor," Nila said.  She appeared to squeal and 'hug' him in her own virtual way.  "I'm very happy you're here.  Xander does not know how to pilot a Tardis."

"He certainly makes mine not listen to me," he told her.  "Let's see what he did.  Radek, can I borrow you?"

"Of course.  I do not want to be a time lord.  Am seeing one, is enough."

"He's technically just a traveler," the Doctor warned.

Radek looked at him.  "May not be natural one but he is one anyway.  Even that book said that they gave him an honorary title."

"Oh, really?" he said, looking at Xander.  Who was studiously looking at the time stream.  "When are we, apprentice?"

Xander looked back at him.  "Heading for the twelve hundreds."

"Charming!  Well, at least the natives won't mind us all that much."  They found where the engine had been hidden and how it was working.  "I need a mallet," he muttered.  "Just like I do on mine."  Radek got him one.  The Doctor broke the engine and they reappeared in their right time.  Nila was pouting.  "Oh, no.   You are not configured to go through the time stream.  It might sheer off your balconies," he told her.  She hugged him again and disappeared.  He took the engine with him and tossed it into his tardis before coming back for Radek, Xander, and Evan so they could figure out how to make sure this never happened again.  He also stole Rodney and Faith.  Plus Joel.  He was a good boy and understood his frustration with Xander all too often.

***

Xander blipped into Landry's office.  "We have figured out how to bypass any further attempts to make Nila a temporal traveling city.  It's input into her programming.  Rodney cleared it, said that the small trip we started to take did not hurt her or the dock."

"Oh, dear Lord," Landry muttered, dropping his pen and giving the boy a tired look.  "Someone managed it?"

"While he was there complaining that I had turned an Ori temple into one dedicated to him."  He smirked at him.  "Evan thought it was brilliant!"  He left.  Then he came back.  "By the way, do we have any spare boxes?"

"You may not build a Tardis while in the employ of the SGC," Landry said firmly.  "Or we will confiscate it.  We do not like time travel around here.  It causes problems."

"Well, I may have defeated a few more Ori," he offered.  Then he disappeared again.

The Doctor caught him.  "Do not replace the Book of Origin with my exploits," he complained.  "Or else they'll decide to do a tv show too."

"That was Jack," Xander pointed out dryly.  "Not me."

The Doctor glared.  "I had less temper as Ten."

"I know.  But now you look more geeky so the universe will like giant brains more."  He beamed at him.  "Which means that when I'm done with this life, and I'm done grieving, then I can find someone who'll respect me for my mind instead of my ass."

"You're completely cracked," the Doctor assured him.  "Totally ruined."

"I am not."

"You are so," he shot back.  "And you're rotting mine too."  Xander gave him a quick kiss and a cuddle.  "That will not make up for making a religion to me."

"Paybacks," Xander said with a happy, bouncy grin.

"Apparently my next companion needs to keep my mind in better shape.  Though you're right, Donna would have cackled herself into needing a bath and a change of clothes."  He gave him a hug.  "Behave.  Please?"

"Sure."

"Did you build a tardis already?" he asked.  Xander just smiled sweetly.  "Oh, come on."

"She helped."

"I'm sure she did.  Is it a traditional one and all that?  Bigger on the inside?"

"Yup.  Linked back with an emergency exit to the villa too."

The Doctor sighed, shaking his head.  "That's one way to get years with your mates," he said quietly.  Xander gave a one-sided shrug.  "You're going to ask them?"

"If they want."

"If you take Radek or Rodney, you will have to make sure they live by the same timeline rules for science and technology."

"I know."

"Good!"  He smirked at him.  "Will Dawn get it some day?"

"Why?  Jack's got his band."  He gave him a smug look.  "And I've already taught her how to make her own."

"Wonderful!  Well, at least I won't be alone in traveling."

"Vacations," Xander agreed.

"Hmm.  Don't meddle too much."

"I'm usually fixing things.  By the way, one you stepped into ended up leaving peaceful and going to a civil war.  I got that stopped."

"Thank you for that."  He took another hug.  "Do not mess up or I will beat you severely."

"I know."

"Good!  And no bringing back that mud or anything for a spa.  Even if it would mean Dawn could shoe shop all she wanted."  He walked off mostly happy.  Xander was still mentally cracked but he wasn't fragile and that was really good payback.  Donna would've laughed so hard she would've crapped if she had seen it.  He'd have to get a note back to Ten to let him know so he can check it out sometime in his personal future.  Since he remembered doing that now.

Xander looked around before letting out a small, evil cackle.

Evan walked up behind him.  "If he won't paddle you, I will the minute you go evil," he said in his ear.

Xander smiled.  "Want dinner out tonight?"

"I saw what's in your closet," he said bluntly.

"I've had it for over seven centuries."

Evan sighed, shaking his head.  "Your mind is a bad, wicked place, Xander.  We'll talk about dinner later though."  He walked off shaking his head.

Radek came over to where he was working.  "I saw the thing that appeared in the closet," he said quietly.

"He's been hiding it," Evan told him.

"Clearly.  Should we tell on him?"

"The Doctor knows.  Said he would paddle him if he got into trouble.  Xander wanted dinner out tonight."

Radek stared at him.  "Rodney would fuss for weeks on end."

"Probably, yeah."  They shared a smirk and played rock/paper/scissors to see who would get to calm Xander down tonight.  Before he got the very bad idea to travel with them.  Not that it wouldn't be a more relaxing vacation than theirs had been but they'd never make it to work on time.

Note:  plays off the end of Journey's End (the one where the Dalek's kidnap the earth to use their reality bomb/where we get the human doctor being made for Rose).

4: Strategic Maneuvers

Jack looked around.  "What we need is a power source to counter it," he said.  The other companions stared at him.  They were trying to find a way to stop the reality bomb.  They were all gathered, had just been stolen.

"Xander," Sarah Jane breathed.

"He's got to be off-planet doing something," Jack agreed.  "Otherwise we would've already seen him killing them."

The Doctor looked at him.  "Nila may still be there.  She and Atlantis are both space capable and protected.  So he's probably throwing a fit."

"Ya think?" Jack asked dryly.  "Anyone got a cellphone?"

"We wouldn't have service," Rose complained.  "And what will Xander do?  He's never been much of a fighter.  He's been too hurt."

Sarah Jane looked at her.  "You must've met him early in his trip because now, he's tougher than Jack is."

Jack nodded.  "Yeah, and he's got an anger issue.  The boy puts the bad in badass."  He took Donna's cellphone to call.  "Xander?  Could use some help."

The head Dalek said something and the insane one Davros laughed.

Jack smirked.  "Thank you."  He hung up.  "He's a bit pissed.  The whole base went into panic mode.  They tried to lock him in a room to keep him from doing stupid things.  Radek is not happy with him."

The Doctor smirked.  "I can imagine why."

Xander appeared in a flash of light, handing Mickey his bracelet.  "Daleks," he said dryly, staring at one.

"You cannot stop us.  We will destroy all of time and space!"

Xander snorted.  "Yeah, right.  Because, you know, been to the future more than once."

"You are not a Time Lord," Davros sneered.

"No, I'm Tias Diamalan."  The Dalek gasped.  He stared.  "You're boring the shit out of me.  Do you mind?  I have most of it the way I want it right now."

"Xander!" the Doctor complained.

Xander looked at him.  "Stop the damn thing then."  He shot the Dalek with his laser pistol.  "Idiot."  Around them Daleks started to go insane.  Xander went to destroy some more things, and loot.  He did so love to loot.  Radek would be very happy and quit scowling at him like he had caused the current problem.  He came back with a few things.

"No."  The Doctor smirked.  "You know better."

"Radek was giving me a look like I did it.  This is to make him happier."  He got into the Tardis with his new loot, putting it in his bedroom then coming back.  "You need three tethers, not two."

"We don't have another point."

"You have Sunnydale.  Have Ianto link the rift into ours with Dawn."  He gave him a look.  He touched his earphone.  "Atlantis, this is Harris."

"You'd better have a very good explanation for what's going on," John called.

"I'm just helping fix the shit, John.  Don't blame me for the Dalek's having a master plan."  He sighed.  "I need Rodney's little storage building linked into us.  We need a tether and you're holding home plate."

"How?" Rodney demanded.

"Through the house, Rodney.  Get Dawn through it."

"Sending to her, and Nila," John said, sounding tired.  "What the hell happened?"

"Floating, flying, homicidal trash cans," Xander said dryly.  "Who hate humanity.  They've tried before.  This time, they're .... well, messy."

"Your messy or my messy?"

"Explosion.  They're machines."

"Even better.  All right, Dawn, can you link the power system that way?"

"Yes, I can," she said over the speaker.  "Doing so now."  Rodney made squeaky noises so she got his help.  "Ianto?"

"I have the power flowing this way, Dawn."

"Good."

"Nila, please pinpoint exactly where earth should be at the time we get there," Xander ordered.  "Atlantis, you're a lighthouse."

"Gotcha," John said.  "Powering shields up to glowy and high."

"We have the rope established," Ianto said.

"Got it, thank you," the Doctor said. "And away we go."  The Tardis had to struggle a bit but it worked.

"Atlantis, move when we get closer," Xander said.  "We'll be reappearing in spot.  Both you and Nila need to be hovering."

"Am," John said.  "Already thought of that."  A few more minutes.  "Holy shit," he said.

Xander snickered.  "Yeah, kinda guess those that think they're holy do."  John snickered.  Jack snickered too, shaking his head.  They popped back into place and he sighed.  "Nila, are we in the right spot?  Need a nudge?"

"No, you are within microns of the right orbit," she said.  "It will be self correcting by Radek's computations within the day.  Mostly it's orbital tilt that's a bit less than it should be."

"That's fine.  Release us, let's do what we gotta do to clean up."  He hung up, looking at the Doctor.  "So."

Mickey held up the bracelet.  "What is this thing?"

"His version of my bracelet," Jack said.  "Is it tired?  You flashed a lot."

"Yeah, that's the N-space powered one.  It does that.  It's a bit warm if I keep wearing it."  He shrugged and took it back.  The Doctors snatched it to look over.  "Fine.  Baby, can we please land?" he called.  She did.  "Thank you, dear."  He went to get his loot and grinned at them.  "Pleasure as always."

"I have to clear even your boys from having that," the Doctor said.

Xander looked at him then smirked.  "He's been swearing at you all day.  You really want it in person?"

"No," he admitted.

"Then let me go soothe the cranky scientists."  His headset went off.  "I'm coming.  Damn.  He's trying to get me to not bring home things."  He waved.  "Don't break the bracelet when you take them home please.  It's a bitch to make a new one."  He disappeared.

"I'm going to spank him," one Doctor said to the other.

"I remember you liked it a lot the last time."

"You have no idea," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "There's been a few since then as well."  He looked at Jack.

"Not my doing!"

"Calm him down?"

"He has boyfriends."

"Good point.  I'll talk with Evan later then."  He took the bracelet to scan.  "This will definitely help get the ones that need it home."

Sarah Jane looked around.  "We're home."

"We are," the original Doctor agreed with a smile.  He followed her outside.  He could use some fresh air.

***

Xander reappeared, handing those things to Radek with a grin.  "Fixed.  I helped."

"I want a report," Landry yelled.

Xander looked back at him.  "Daleks.  The floating trash cans.  They had some sort of super bomb to destroy all of reality."

"Why take the earth?"

"They said something about a planetary power source."  He shrugged.  "Ask the Doctor.  Or Jack, he was there."

"I will.  Why call you?"

"Weapons."  Landry walked off holding his head.  He shrugged.  Then he looked at his boyfriends.  "I told him I was looting so you'd have a happier night not complaining that something happened, even though you thought I knew what was going on."  He disappeared, heading back to Nila's command center.  "Nila, status report?"

"We are presently floating inches above our usual spot.  My docking area is secure.  All labs are secured and in lockdown.  All our people are on me," she said, appearing with a smile.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem.  Are we clear to land and redock?"  She looked toward Colorado then nodded.  "Go ahead and let's check the labs for any damage.  Usual emergency procedures apply," he told the people staring at him. "Head scientist for each lab, military backing them up with open comm so we can evacuate you.  One lab at a time, people.  Start with the independent ones off to the side.  The tower might've added more stability and best to get the possible worst out of the way."  The military guys nodded.  "I just saw Radek and Evan.  They're on the main base."  He sat down.  "Cam was too."  They all nodded.  "Good.  General Landry," he called over the comm.  "This is Nila.  Permission to do a lab check for safety reason.  We are docked and ready."

"Go for it," he called.  "Let me know what needs damaged.  Senior staff will be back in a few minutes, Specialist Harris."

"Thank you, General.  Let's start with engineering," he told the present top military guy.  He nodded, gathering a team and the head scientist to check.  "Team 3, gather yours for chem.  You guys have spent the most time there.  Team 1, do the evac if something happens."  They nodded, gathering what they'd need for that.  "Nila, fully docked?"

"Yes, Xander," she chirped.  "All four pipes are reestablished and the power core reads fine when I checked."

"Good.  Let me and them know if you sense anything."

"I'll go with them."  She beamed and flashed to where they were going into the lab.  "Just in case so I can check my labs over," she said cheerfully.

"That's fine.  You won't get in the way," one of the soldiers told her.   She beamed at him and they went in.

Radek reappeared with the new stuff, putting it carefully on a chair then went to find his mate.  Evan was already in the command center.  "Where are we?"

"Safety check," Evan said.  "One by one."

"Agreed."  He glared at Xander.  Who only gave him a dirty look back.  "What will they do next time?"

"Nothing.  They're in exploded bits and pieces."

"Oh.  Good!"  Xander grinned at that.  "I did not need presents."

"Yes you did.  You've been scowling at me the whole time like I had the lab accident that caused this."

"Guys, we can hear you," John complained from Atlantis.  "Fight on your own time."

"Yes, big brother," Xander quipped.

"And don't you forget it either.  Atlantis is reporting fully reseated and invisible, back in our assigned spot, General."

"Good," Landry said.  "Tell me if anything got damaged, Atlantis."

"No, sir, we checked that when the earth disappeared."

"Even better.  Harris, no fighting on Nila."

"I'm not."

"Thank you."  A few people laughed over the open link.  "How is the lab check going?"

"So far, engineering has some overturned tables, but nothing damaged," the head scientist reported.  "We're moving to Chem."

"Chem has their own team ready," Xander said.  "Go to botany next.  With the AI it'll be the easiest and you can work your way down."

"That's reasonable," she decided, switching off for the head of botany.  They went up there and she came in to upload the film for Radek to view.

"Many things are banged up but only one machine is reading wrong," he said with a point.

"I checked, the power cord was yanked out by the tremors of the move.  It's restarting right now.  I had Nila put a shield around it in case it overheated."

"Good thinking."  He went to help check on the others with Evan.  Cam got beamed back.  "We're doing a lab check."

"I heard.  Let's go help."  They went to do that.  They'd talk to Xander later.

***

Landry looked up as Dawn appeared in a flash of light with Jack Harkness.  "Captain, Miss Summers."

"Good morning, General," she said with a happy smile.

"What happened?  I got referred to you."

Jack handed over a copy of his report for Torchwood.  "Daleks."

"I got told that."  He read it over, grimacing.  "That explains a lot."  He looked up.  "The outcome?"

"We needed Xander as a diversion.  They're all in tiny pieces."

"Ianto and I included how we got back since I know Rodney and others will want to know," Dawn said with a smile.

"Even better.  Thank you, Miss Summers."  She smirked.  "Is your sister all right?"

"Freaked out about deadly flying art deco trash cans that couldn't get into Sunnydale.  Something was protecting it."

"Any idea what?" Jack asked her.

"She's asking around.  We think it was something the Master did or the old mayor did during his time in office."

"I want to know when you do," Jack told her.  "We'll of course share it," Jack said with a smile.

"That would be appreciated.  Does the president know?  Or your Prime Minister?"

"I haven't gotten a call yet," Jack admitted.  "I have copies of the report for my own people's higher ups.  You can pass that on if you want."

"Thank you."  He smirked.  "Have fun with the meetings."

"I send Dawn.  She's perky, cute, they know she's an intern.  They don't try to hit on her.  She appears to be non-threatening."  Dawn snorted.  He smirked at his little girl then at the General.  "They like her a lot more than me."

"Even better.  Wish I could do the same but they hate Harris."

"Just think, there's an election coming up," Dawn said with a cheery, nearly high looking grin.  Landry shuddered.  "Martha has one for UNIT being done.  They also did the Osterhagen thingy.  I'm guessing that's like a planetary, 'we won't be enslaved' destructo thingy.  So....  If they need to know, you can make her do paperwork too."

The general gave her a look.  "That's almost mean, Miss Summers."

"Martha said I looked trashy last week," she quipped, pushing her hair back.  "Did you bring the other copy?"

"It's on the desk," Jack told her.

"Cool.  Let me do that.  Then I'll go check on Mom and Buffy."  She disappeared.

"The perkiness has to come from her mother," Jack said, cracking the general up.  "Anyway, you can tell Radek to quit scowling at Xander.  He only shot one and then looted as the distraction we needed."

"I'll do that.  Thank you."

"Let us know if you need to have more help that way."  He sent himself home.  The Doctor still couldn't undo his bracelet.

***

Dawn appeared in a high security area, holding up his ID card in her hand.  "Torchwood," she said happily.  "I have a report for them."

"They're in a meeting," one guard said.

"I can explain what happened."  They let her in.  She smiled at the secretary, who huffed.  "I have our report.  Captain Harkness is getting one from UNIT as well."

"Please go explain that, Miss Summers."

"That's what I'm here for," she quipped, heading in there.  "It's a good day when you save the universe and live to tell about it," she told all the scowling people.  "If you're unhappy that you're still alive, don't blame us."  The Prime Minister started to cough.  "Aww.  Sorry."  She put the papers down next to him and walked to the end of the table again. "Torchwood's report."

"What the effin' hell happened!" one of the people in the room shouted.  He was wearing a military uniform.

"Daleks.  Those floating, nasty things were Dalek's.  They needed the planet to help power some reality bomb according to Captain Harkness.  They got it stopped with the Doctor's help and then got us back into place."

"Was that one who was at both problems here in London there?" the Prime Minister asked.

"No, Xander was on Nila.  Jack told me that he called Xander to be a distraction while they destroyed the bomb that was going to end all space, time, and everything everywhere."

"That's good to know," he decided, reading over the report.  He scowled at her.  "Isn't the Tardis the size of a phone box?"

"Yes but like a tug boat, sir."

"Ah."  He handed it off.  "Are there any others coming?"

"Doctor Jones from UNIT may have one sometime today."

"I heard about those cities," he said bluntly.

"With what they are, they stayed in place.  They're not exactly tied to us fully, sir.  They helped, I was on the hidden one to help link in their power system for that tether rope.  Along with linking into the rift in Sunnydale."

"Even better," he decided.  "Why does he send you?"

She smiled.  "Because you grump less at me and you'd rather have perky people telling you bad news than him.  Or so he said."

"Quite possibly," he agreed dryly.  "Anything that needs to be known about?"

"As far as we know, everything should be fine.  The hub is fine and we're all good.  I'm going to check on Xander's estate later on because of his plant samples."  The Prime Minister gaped at her.  She smiled.  "He's been gardening since he went on that unusual trip.  We have some wonderful samples I'm helping tend."

"We'd like a report on those," one of them said.

She looked at him.  "Xander is SG personnel," she said bluntly.  "If you don't know what that is, your clearance isn't that high so you can't and if you do know what it is, you know who to ask."  She looked at the Prime Minister again.  "If you must, you can ask Jack about anything.  Xander gave him an inventory list."

"That's wonderful of him.  How many are dangerous?"

"A few have tentacles," she offered with a smile.  "Some eat bunny rabbits.  They're very protective of whoever's there when it's me, my coworkers for the most part, or him."

"Wonderful.  I heard about spores....."

"We have samples of two different plants.  They are in quarantine," she said bluntly.  "Those are not releaseable without orders from the proper people and my boss, Prime Minister, because they can be dangerous in the wrong hands."

"I agree fully.  I was going to ask that you burn them."

She smirked.  "They do have great medical hopes.  And would thoroughly fund that project."

He snickered.  "Yes, I can see why."

She beamed at him.  "Is there anything else I can tell you about today, gentlemen?"

One coughed.  "Young lady, you look familiar."

She looked at him.  "I'm Torchwood's intern.  Captain Harkness sends me with all missives because I'm perky and don't take shit from anyone."  The others laughed.  "Where do you think you know me from?"

"I believe I know your sister."

She glared at him.  "Is that an admission that you're a soulless man twat from the Council who wants to treat young women who had no choice when they were called to be warriors against their will like shit?"  He gaped.  "Yes, I do know of the Council, and their *stunning* plan to have my sister, myself, and Faith all knocked up to see if we bred true.  No thank you, my boyfriend wouldn't like that."  She stared at him.  "We know too much about the Council to ever respect them.  As a matter of fact, Xander would like to come visit and show his displeasure at the last plan you guys had to hurt Faith."

The Prime Minister coughed.  "You know of them?"

"My sister's Buffy, sir."

"Oh!"  He stared at her in horrified awe.  "So you do know."

"Oh, yes."  She smirked.  "And want to destroy them too since one of them tried to poison me last year.  Thank the Goddess Xander's wonderful at herbology."  She glared at the idiot.  "I'd say leave the Sunnydale team alone but you should've learned that by now."  She smiled at the others.  "Anything else I can help you guys with?"  They shook their heads.  "Then we're going to be cleaning up the rubble from the tremors during moving.  Have a better day, gentlemen."  She disappeared from right there.

The men, once they had picked themselves up off the floor, looked at the guy from the Council.  "I'd say that their present people are not pleased with you."

"I have heard nothing about that poisoning.  Though that may be when Captain Harkness and Mr. Harris paid us a visit."  He stiffened.  "That Xander, is it Harris?" he asked the Prime Minister.

"Yes, at both those battles we've had.  He's also the one that got so very upset with the American president for the aftermath of that last battle that he found those disgusting pictures."  They all shuddered.  "He's now Canadian."  The Watcher moaned.  "I'd suggest you leave them all alone.  Including her sister and the other one.  They are protected by the same people Mr. Harris is.  And Mr. Harris.  Who I'm told has tight ties to Torchwood as well."

Xander appeared with a sigh, looking at him.  "Sir, Dawn said you wanted a talk?"

"Mr. Harris.  We were talking about you.  This young man wanted to make sure you were one and the same."

Xander glared at the Watcher.  "Don't go near Dawn.  I'll kill the entire Council for that."  The man gasped.  "I'm not the nice one.  I haven't been the nice one.  I won't be the nice one.  Hell, I earned a medal for losing my temper and taking a battle axe to a few units of Ori a while back.  I chopped them all into tiny, bloody pieces right after holding that disease shield."  He sneered a little bit.  "Those of us in my program don't respect the Council because they know what you did to Faith, and they don't respect you because they've helped in Sunnydale a few times as well.  So let's just forget we had to have this talk and leave all of the Sunnydale team alone.  It's better for everyone."  He smiled at the others.  "We don't care about the rest of you unless you're Council morons as well."  He looked at the Prime Minister. "Contrary to popular yelling I wasn't part of this one."  He disappeared again.

"I'm told he has some wonderful futuristic weapons from his travels," the Prime Minister told him.  "I believe it was sane, competent advice."

"The Council really does loathe that boy.  We have a memo that he is to be killed on sight thanks to Travers."

"I heard a lot of that from their president when Mr. Harris was ready to deal with those threats he was sent.  That program likes him quite a lot for the translator and problem solver he is.  I'm told he's on that new city of the Ancients.  The liaison between the military guards and the scientists."  The Council guy shuddered in horror.  "Exactly."  He smirked.  "The Queen adores him for helping save us both of those times."

The man from the Council grimaced.  "He dates evil things I'm told."

"I'm told he has a scientist and a military major," the Prime Minister said smugly.  "Plus the Doctor dotes on him.  Calls him a padawan."  They all cracked up and relaxed at that.

The situation was over and they could brief the press and others soon so they could all quit worrying.

***

Xander appeared via beam next to Landry, who was not pleased to be called to this meeting.  "I wasn't even part of this one," he said when the President opened his mouth.  "I got called in as a momentary distraction.  I spent most of it locked in a room on Nila because everyone was worried that something bad would happen again."  He handed over the reports he had gathered earlier.  "UNIT's and Torchwood's report.  They were both in attendance."  He stepped back.

The president read them over then looked at Landry.  "You wouldn't allow him out?"

"The other senior staff on Nila wanted to make sure he stayed there in case of problems, sir."

"I see."  He looked at him.  "You could have been."

"Nila and Atlantis were both still here.  I have no idea what was going on beyond having heard a bit about it in later years."

The president huffed.  "Fine."  He reread them then looked at Landry.  "How can we stop this from happening again?"

"They blew up the Daleks, sir.  They're no more as far as we know."

"Good!"  He leaned back.  "As you know, later this year is an election."  They both nodded.  "Don't seem so cheerful, Harris."

Xander smirked.  "I hope the next person in office will appreciate the program, and all that we do, Sir.  I'm told the two candidates are both using assholes, but they won't be scared of what we can do."

"That's putting it mildly.  They'll like you too."

"I'm Canadian now," he said with a look.

The President snorted.  "I never got that paperwork."

"I got a letter of acknowledgment from the Secretary of State, sir," Landry said.

"I see.  What would you say to a new General in O'Neill's spot?"

"I'd say they'd better have done the job at least once," Xander said.  "Or else they'll make stupid decisions that'll hurt the program and therefore the security of the planet.  Not like you can understand the Ori unless you're a fundamentalist and that dumb yourself."

"Xander," Landry ordered calmly.

"It's true.  Hell, they're as bad as that church in Kansas that goes around making asses of themselves."

"I think the Ori are worse.  They kill those who don't want to join them."

Xander snorted.  "I'm sure that church would if they could get away with it."  He crossed his arms over his chest and shifted his weight some.  "If O'Neill is retiring, is Landry moving up and therefore someone's getting a promotion or do I have to introduce another general to Sunnydale stuff first?  Since we have ties and we found demons on a recent mission."

"You did?" the president demanded.  Xander nodded.  "Bad ones?"

"Whole native council, not bad though.  They had enemies that were and we helped fix them.  We're now on friendly terms.  They do know about Sunnydale and sympathized that I grew up there.  When the team ran into demons, they called really fast."

"I'm sure they did."  He stared at Landry.  "The next ones won't like O'Neill."

"There's days I don't like Jack, sir.  But I respect the man for what he's done."

"Nice answer," he said dryly.  "You'll need to brief them."

"We have the recruiting video for the scientists worked out," Xander said.  "Rodney and Radek did that for us.  It lists the labs, some views of the city here and in Pegasus.  Some of the staff's pictures of other places.  It goes into a short overview of the Wraith and Ori."

"Good," he decided. "You planned on needing that to hire scientists?"

"Some day, Atlantis will need some or the main base will.  We can edit and cut it down for each program.  The program as a whole needs to recruit some more people as well, that's a good show and tell for them as an opening."

"Did you work with someone who knows marketing?" the president asked.

"No, sir," Landry said.  "We haven't really needed to look at advertising the program.  I can if you wish and will let us."

"I know someone online that may be able to advise us," Xander said.  "She works for some engineers.  They do public works stuff."

"That's not a bad idea," Landry decided, nodding.  "Run the presentation past her, see if she has any doubts.  None of it's the fully classified things, right?"

"We can use that version."

"That'll work," he decided.  "Let us know her suggestions for the presentation and we'll gladly run it for the new president then show him around the cities and the base, sir."

"Good."  He grimaced.  "When is our next problem coming, Harris?"

"I'm not an oracle.  I think the next one's in a few years and it's back in England."

"Excellent."  He smirked.  "I like that answer better than it being here."

"Unless the Ori make it here first."

The president sighed.  "You had to ruin my happy thought?"

Xander stared at him.  "Want me to answer that?"

"No.  Go away."  Xander left.  "Landry, are you sure you want to keep him?  UNIT needs to do some rebuilding.  Torchwood probably does."

"Yes, sir, I'm certain.  We love having Harris with us.  He solves a lot of problems, keeps the scientists motivated and working at times.  We'd like to keep him."

"Fine.  Try to keep him away from the next guy?  I've already told them who he was."

"If you want, sir.  Xander hates attention."

"Good!"  He waved a hand.  "Dismissed."  Landry got beamed back.  He groaned, faxing those reports to the office they needed to go to so they could be shard.

***

Xander reappeared on Nila.  "Radek, the General wants to see the full presentation.  The President wants us to have someone who knows marketing look it over.  I got approval for that."  He nodded, making that note on his computer.  "He wanted to talk about who might be replacing O'Neill and him after the election as well."

Radek muttered something as he typed.  "I'm sure it will be fine."

"If not, want to travel for a bit?" he asked with a grin.

Radek smiled back.  "Is not a bad idea."  He heard a splash.  It was nice Nila broadcast whenever she did that.  "Nila, please make sure that one does not drown," he called.  "Military, please go retrieve that person."

"Sir, she got into the plants on the atoll," the deck guard called back.  "She jumped in to get away from the plants."

"They're not that mean," Xander said patiently.  "Only five or six are poisonous."

"I don't think it mattered to her, Harris.  She was trying to get away from a tentacle plant."  Xander moaned and went to the atoll to fuss over his plants some more.

Radek went to talk to that scientist.  It was one he didn't like but it was still mean of the plant.  Kavanagh was cackling in his corner, his 'mother' giving him fond looks.  "Enough," he said quietly.  "Which plant was attacking you?" he asked as she got helped back up.

"One of the tentacle plants wanted to play anime with me!" she complained loudly.  "Why do we even have them!"

"Because they spent much time trying to eat the teams in the Pegasus galaxy," Radek told her.  "They are under study.  They would be safely contained in a lab if not for a selfish woman who threw them out there for being angry that she was not top botanist and could not see that Xander is smart even without a degree."

She snorted.  "He's a smartass."

"He is very smart," one of the guards told her.  "He taught us a few different languages when we asked.  The other linguists wouldn't."

She huffed off to dry herself off.  "I know he's useful but those plants are still a menace."

"I will see if Xander will move most of them to Cardiff," Radek called after her, activating his headset.  "Xander, can any be relocated?"

"No," he said.  "Not easily."  He hung up cooing at something.

Radek sighed, shaking his head.  "Remind Major Lorne to add mice for them to eat."  The guard shuddered but made that note to his boss.  Radek went back to checking on his people.  They were all going insane.  He walked as close as he could to the atoll, finding Xander near-by.  "Do not speak to us as you do them?" he asked.

Xander smiled.  "Of course I won't coo at you, Radek.  You're not cute and spiny."  Radek walked off groaning and shaking his head.

***

Cam looked out at his morning meeting.  "Last order of business.  There's a list of people whose contracts are about to expire.  They need to talk to the Generals soon.  Radek, that does include yours.  Major Lorne, yours as well.  Xander, yours too."

"I know," he agreed.

"We'll miss you, Xander," one of the chemists said.

He looked at them.  "I can sign on for another eighteen months."  They pouted.  He sighed, looking at Radek.  "I'll find a grill later?"

"That'll work," Cam agreed.  "Invite me as long as we're not on the atoll.  Xander, can you clear off a free area?"

"I'm working on it.  I did not plant those out there."

"I know.  McKay yelled at her about that too."

Xander nodded, making notes.  "I've cleared a good beach party sized area.  I'm clearing it back to the trellis I put up yesterday.  That leaves a walkway and a good, clear party area.  I'll be putting up a small fence to designate the area later on with some help."  He looked at Lorne.  "All your guys woosed out."

"They know your plants only love you," he said dryly, earning a few laughs.  "I'll help you plant a fence line as long as you make it a clear area."

"It has grass."

"Good!  How many mice am I getting them?"

"Twenty is good for the next two months.  They've caught a few birds and insects."

"Even better."

"And I fed them the last of the meatloaf from the other night.  They all loved it.  Even with the cayenne in it."  He belched.  "Sorry."

"I had those same stomach flashbacks," Cam said dryly.  "I'll come help with the fence to make sure the area's big enough."

"Some I can't transplant," Xander told him.  "They're deeply rooted and it'll kill 'em, or us since a few are the life vines."  They all groaned.  "Also, garden weeding is a good punishment, Evan."

"I've already got it on the list for the vegetable garden, Xander.  Not the other plants but the garden."  The military guys all whimpered.  A few of the tentacle plants were really close to it.

Xander smirked.  "I can't move those, guys.  A few are interwoven down into the foundation of the island."  They all sighed but nodded. "If we wanted to, we could build up the free end of it to make it a bit bigger."

"No," Cam said.  "Not right now.  We have enough construction going on.  Beyond that, it's not a Captain Morgan's commercial."  The guys all laughed at that and a few of the women too.  "Let's get back to it."  They left, going to work.  Cam got some gloves and went to help install the fence.  He looked around the clear area.  "It's not a bad size but I could hope it'd be larger."

"I can clear out this far," Xander said, walking that way.  He finally stopped.  "The next plants are some I can't remove without killing them.  I'm working on cuttings but I can't promise."

Cam nodded.  "Well, it's not a huge area but it's a lot."

"I can pare back to within feet of the garden in one direction.  Make a pit there for cooking maybe?"  He showed him his plans by drawing with a stick in the dirt.  "That gives us about a baseball field sized area.  This atoll isn't that large."

"That'll work," Cam decided.  They got to work on the fence.  Xander got two of the Marines out to dig the cooking pit and put up the stakes to hold anything they were cooking.   When they were done, the head of the construction crew came out.  "Think this'll do?" Cam asked him.

He nodded.  "It will be a good place.  Most of the touching plants are moved?"

"Most of them are replanted somewhere else," Xander said with a small grin.  "They're guarding the vegetable garden and things."

"That's fine.  My men don't want to touch that anyway, Harris."  He looked around.  "Good fencing job as well, boys."  He went to tell his crew chiefs so they could pass it on for the every Saturday relaxation event they had.  Sometimes the soldiers joined, sometimes not.  It was good enough for them for now.

Cam looked around their party area then at Xander.  "They can use the lanar and the rec room," he said.

Xander smirked.  "They often do."  They went to hose off for lunch and then got back to the other jobs around the city and docks.   There was always something that needed fixed.

***

Xander woke up with a moan, holding his head.  "Ow."

"Xander?" Nila asked quietly.  "Are you all right?"

"Did I get shot again?"

"No."  She moved closer.  "No, don't move.  You're okay but you've got to be sore."

He blinked at her.  "What happened?"

"A machine exploded.  Botany felt it and told me before I could get here."

"Shit.  Everyone else?"

"They're fine.  You were rushing them out and were at the doorway when it went off."  She frowned.  "It knocked out our communications."

"Go to the house and yell across?  Or tell Atlantis?"

"I didn't think about that!"  She disappeared, appearing in John's office.  "Xander's awake."

"Why wouldn't he be?" he asked, looking up form his paperwork.

"He was clearing people before an explosion.  It knocked out our communication gear."

"I'm coming with the doctor.  Is he the only injury?"  She nodded.  He called her on the way to the pass-through at Xander's place.  They walked out and she led them to him.  "Where is everyone?"

"Back on my city.  Just in case.  I can't get back there.  One of them did something and locked me on the dock."

"I'll have Rodney fix it," he promised, calling him.  Nothing, no radio.  He looked at her and she left.  He and the doctor got the door to chemistry open, finding Xander trying hard to sit up.  "What happened?"

"No clue.  I don't remember how I got down here."  The backup doc for Atlantis helped him to stand and got him outside.  He groaned at the sunlight.  "Where's everyone?"

"Someone locked them on Nila."

Xander looked at him.  "You can't lock a doorway that's open.  Her forcefields are down because they're working on the sanitation systems."

"I'm having Rodney check."  The doctors got them beamed back to the city's infirmary while John went to check on the people.  He found them milling around but looking bored.  "Major Lorne," he snapped.  Evan jumped, giving him a dirty look.  "McKay is coming to look at your radio since it's down."

"Yes, sir.  The contamination alarm was set off and then we lost radios.  I called the main base."

"No one told us."  He grimaced.  "Harris is fine."  Evan stiffened, glaring at him.  "A bit banged up.  No memory of the explosion in chemistry."

"The contam alarm wasn't for chemistry.  It was for biology."

"No, biology looked fine when we walked past it."

"I see."  He looked around.  "Nila?"  She didn't appear.  "Why?" he asked the colonel.

"She's locked to the dock somehow."

"Radek!"  He came jogging over.  "It was the wrong lab that set off the alarm.  Nila's unable to get back here?  Our radios are still down?"

"I cannot get through the radio problem.  What happened?"

"Something exploded in chem," John told him.

"I was told Xander was on the atoll and in the garden."

"No, he's in the infirmary.  He's a bit banged up.  Possibly a small head injury.  Nila can't get back either."

"I will look into it."

"Rodney's coming.  That's his job."

"I agree," he said firmly, nodding some.  Cam pushed his way over.  "We have problems."

"I'm betting it's bad?" he asked John.  Who told him everything.  "Huh."  He nodded.  "When McKay finds all the little conspirators, I want them first.  Then the generals can have them."

"Agreed," John said.  Rodney huffed in, looking pissed off.  "He good?"

"He's fine.  Small head injury.  Atlantis is linked to my tablet PC, she'll call if there's news."  He handed Radek something.  "Let's figure this one out.  I haven't had to yell in days."

Radek nodded.  "Us first."  He followed him to the command panel.  "Calvin, find what is wrong with the shields."

"Sure, Radek."  He looked worried.  Harry wasn't happy laying on his feet.  "What happened?"

Radek said something in Chinese.  "Do not worry.  I doubt you were part of it."

Kavanagh nodded.  "No, probably not.  I'd never... not knowingly."  He went to work on the shields.  Someone was clearly in trouble.

***

Radek and Evan walked into the infirmary.  "We have ferreted out a few more in the conspiracy to make you leave.  They wanted the city shut down and figured you'd be a good start on that."  He leaned down to kiss Xander on the forehead, something Evan couldn't do.  Xander was still sulking.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah.  I put up the friend/foe warning on the house from here and it went off a minute ago.  John went to see who it was."

"That's fine.  Whoever did it this morning is in much trouble for endangering lives, especially yours," Evan said.  He patted him on the knee, getting a look.  "Who was it?"

"I'm pretty sure it was female but otherwise I have no idea how they got there."

"Hmm.  Could be that Dawn's doorway was not blocking them?" Radek suggested.

"I specified only her coworkers in case they had to evacuate."

"Then it's probably one of them," Evan agreed.  "The rest keep everyone but family and friends out."  He patted him again and sat on the edge of the bed to look at his boy.  "Are you all right?"

"Small concussion.  Bit banged up.  Did it do a lot of damage?"

"One machine exploded.  We found it was tampered with.  The one who did it is begging for mercy.  We beat her for you."  Radek smiled.  "She was not happy.  Wanted to be on Atlantis instead.  Thought we were a lesser city.  So I let Nila yell as well.  She was used by the rest, who wanted program shut down for good of their religious views."  Xander grinned at that.  "Will you be going back tonight?"

"If they'd let me out of the bed."

"We will make sure so you can have dinner," Evan said with a grin.

"That's right, we're supposed to be having dinner with the generals about the contract stuff."

"That was yesterday," Radek said, looking at the nearest nurse.  "How much is he missing?"

"Just today, Radek.  He'll be fine and the doctor wanted to keep him overnight, also to protect him just in case."  She went off to see to the new cut hand that was coming in.

"Then we will hover," Radek decided.

"If you want," Xander said, giving him a slight grin.

"Yes, we want," Evan assured him.  He got them some chairs and pulled them over while Radek got the curtains around the bed.

***

John walked into the house, seeing Ianto in the kitchen.  "Who else was here with you?"

"As far as I know, no on was.  Why?" he asked, looking up from his sandwich making.  "Dawn hasn't eaten in days and we have no food in any of our apartments thanks to cases."

"Xander wouldn't mind."  He leaned on the counter.  "Someone attacked him earlier.  He did a friend/foe thing with magic and saw someone he was fairly certain was female in the upper level of the library."

"I did not see anyone else here.  I know Dawn didn't come in."

"No, it was clearly someone who didn't like him."

"I can help you search."

"Please."  John and Ianto went into the library and Ianto gasped, looking around.  John smiled.  "Never been in here?"

"No.  Dawn's kept it to herself."  He followed up the stairs to the second level.  They each took a side to meet in the back of the balcony.  Ianto ran into something, pausing to look at it.  "All the books reshelve themselves, right?"

"Yes."  He came jogging over.  "That's not one of Xander's.  It's too new."  He checked, no wires.  Inside... it was a mess.  "Can you maybe get through our portal and get someone?"

"Of course."  He went to summon him some help and took the sandwich to Dawn, getting Tosh to come help as well.  If it was electronic, she could deal with it.  Jack came too.  "I have no idea who it was."

"I didn't see anyone."  He went to help too.  "John?"

"Jack.  Book bomb."

He looked then shook his head.  "No idea."  The bomb tech for Atlantis appeared and Cadman got it undone fairly easily.  "Can we find fingerprints?" he asked her.

"I can try."  She put it into a containment box and walked it back to the base.  "Give me an hour, Colonel."

"Thank you."  He looked around then at Ianto.  "You didn't see anyone?"

"No.  I'd hate to think of my coworkers that way.  Jack, did you see anyone?"

"No.  Not that did that.  I saw Gwen peeking in but she's not capable of that."

John nodded.  "Ask her if she saw anyone please.  We had Xander hurt earlier on purpose."  Ianto glared.  "Not my doing.  They sabotaged a lab and the radio system.  He's got a concussion."

"I can let Dawn come fuss," Jack offered.

"People think her showing up is favoritism since they can't get their families to Atlantis."

"Dawn's not exactly normal at times."

"No, and we've pointed out she's Daniel's geek protégée."

"He wasn't happy with her grades recently," Jack said with a smug look.

"Which we all blame on Owen.  Daniel suggested he just buy her a ring and get it over with, but it made Owen have fits, which caused Dawn angst, and I nearly shot Owen again," Ianto finished dryly.  "It's nice, I've got a daughter who is nearly as good of a dresser as I am."

"Now if only she wore longer skirts," Jack said dryly.

"She looks adorable and that's all that really matters to her.  We did get her out of her habit of flashing navel to everyone."

Jack smiled.  "Thank you for that.  Even if she did make you go shopping with her."

"It's fine.  It took two days to no longer see women's clothes when I tried to rest, but it's fine now."  John snickered.  "She did vow to steal Faith."

"Faith can hide," John said dryly.  "So can the others."  They nodded and John checked the rest of the house.  Nothing.  So he left, closing all the doors behind him.  That way they would know if someone opened one.  The alarm system would tell Xander and who it was if it knew them.

***

"Well, gosh, this is a quandary," a male voice said, frowning.  "How on earth did anyone do this?"

Xander blinked awake, staring at the man.  "I know damn well you got killed.  There's no way you turned back from the giant snake."  The man smirked at him.  "So why take his form just to piss me off?"

"I'm sure it won't."

"Oh, yeah, it will."  He sat up, glaring at him.  He glanced around.  Still in the infirmary.  "Faith to the Infirmary, please Atlantis," he murmured.  The former Mayor of Sunnydale smirked at that.

"Which one, Xander?" she asked, appearing.

"Both.  Have her team escort her and someone get the other one."  She nodded, going to order that.  He looked at him.  "Reality rip?"

"Something of the sort.  It was so gosh darn interesting too."

Xander snorted.  "No it's not."

"This place is unusual.  I had no idea we had things like this in the military."

"We don't."  He heard a gun be cocked and looked.  "John, this is Mayor Richard Wilkins."

"Graduation?" he asked.

"Yup.  There's two Faith's."

"That might explain that book bomb."  Faith got walked in by Kissen.  "Is she ours or the other one?"

"Ours.  She's been with me for hours."  Faith nodded, looking pissed.  Xander pointed and she stared, then backed away slowly.  "So there's two?" Kissen asked.

"Apparently," Xander said.  He got out of the bed and checked himself.  "Who put socks on me?"

"You were cold," John told him.

"Oh."  He grinned.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He smirked back.  The other Faith was led in kicking and screaming.  The soldiers saw the first one and winced.  "Realm rip, guys.  She's a juvie Faith."

Faith looked at her younger self.  "Thank god I learned better."  Xander beamed at her.  "The Doctor was good at getting his point across when I needed it."  She walked over to herself, staring at her.  "We were in jail for years because we followed him," she told her quietly.  "We lost all the respect we didn't realize we had.  We got saved to come here to this project and help but otherwise we might've died there.   He's evil.  He's not a good man even if he does like us.  That's why he likes us."

"Every hunter and slayer has darkness in them," Xander pointed out.  "Or else we'd be on the floor crying in a little huddled ball every night after patrol."  The other Faith sneered at him.  He stared back.  "I'm not like I was then either, Faith.   We were all bad back then and had no idea that the fighting inside the group was hurting you because we thought Giles was handling some of it.  When we realized it, we tried.  We tried harder after you woke up and had problems."  He moved closer.  "The me there wants to help you.  He wants to help you regain some solid footing.  If you'd let him, Faith and I are much better friends now that we've talked and things.  She gets what my parents were like and I get yours."

"How?" she sneered.  "Yours are around."

"Not always conscious," he quipped, giving her a look.  "There's a reason I don't drink much, Faith.  They're it."  She looked startled.  "Willow's left her alone all the time and hyped how smart she was.  It created the geek queen she was.  She was recently killed for trying to kill others via magic.  She got addicted to it.  The Powers had to bring her back."  The mayor yawned so Xander lashed out, knocking him down and out.  He looked at her again.  "Will he still like you when he's the giant demon worm?  When he's got to eat all of humanity to survive?"

She swallowed.  "He cares."

"He's a user, Faith.  The same as those pimps your mom had were."  She winced at that, looking down.  "The same as any dealer can be.  He's dealing to you.  It's affection instead of a drug but it's just as strong."  He tipped her face up.  "Buffy's spoiled.  She's had her mom forever.  She's a former princess before being called.  Joyce did a good job letting Buffy know that there were people like us out there but she didn't know or see it personally as more than a few homeless people now and then.  Dawn, when she gets there, will be the same way.  Angel's still a vampire.  He's nearly two centuries old.  Spike's a hundred-twenty-something."

She shuddered.  He smiled.  "Not my thing either.  I have my boys.  I'm content."  She stared in his eyes.  He smiled.  "You have to be stronger because of who you are.  Faith Lehane is more than the slayer parts."  The girl nodded at that.  "At the time before graduation, we were too young ourselves to see."  He patted her on the cheek and stepped back.  "You'll make it, no matter what choices you make today or tomorrow, Faith.  Time isn't a thread or a destiny.  It's what use you make of it."

"Look at me," Faith ordered, making her look at her.  "I chose to come here.  They're good people.  They've taught me things, helped me heal, gotten my head on straight.  Going to prison started that but being here finished it.  I got a whole lot of people to care for because I made my own family.  Boytoy's a fine brother at times.  Even lets me steal popcorn during movies."

Faith swallowed.  "But...  He's ...."

"Evil," Faith said.  "Like the one that took our Linda.  Only he's made deals to get more evil and soon he'll turn into a huge ass evil demon worm.  It'll be our first apocalypse and I spent it in a coma after tangling with Buffy.  I had no idea she was so hard from our few training times."

"There's people around you that you can always trust, Faith," Xander told her.  "Even if it's not me, you can always trust Oz to give you an honest answer.  Spike, which is strange to say, will too.  He might taunt you with it, but he'll be honest.  Dru... she's cracked but she'll try to claim you as like her.  Angel will try to evade.  Buffy's ... well, not seeing at the moment due to her personal life going to hell with the running away thing.  Still.  They're still mending that fence and she's overly hot due to the upcoming apocalypse.  Willow.... back then she wasn't *bad* but she was tied up in her new magic thing because it fleshed out her personal identity.  It made her be someone.  You saw them push me away because I wasn't fitting in with their views of what a special person was."  She nodded.  "If you came up to me one night and just said 'hey, I need to talk' I might quip something stupid but I'd know if you were serious.  I'm a lot deeper than I appeared," he finished dryly.  "Or go ask Oz.  Or even Mrs. Summers.  She's not an airhead and she never knew, Faith.  At all."

"Her first letter to me said she thought I was staying with Wes," Faith agreed.  She shrugged.  "No one thought to tell her anything.  She was just learning about stuff too."

Faith nodded, looking down again.  "Are we in trouble?"

"Well, you crossed realities," Xander said. "We'll have to fix that.  Get you home.  There can't be two of you in one reality for very long, even if there is such an age and experience gap."

"What happened to you?" Faith asked, staring at him.  "You're not the same X as at home."

"I grew up, did some traveling.  Had a lot of pain and a lot of good.  I learned not to dwell and became a scary sort in my own right."

"He can kick my ass," Faith admitted.  "Repeatedly and look hot doing it."  The younger her gaped.  She nodded.  "He's very good at it.  He teaches too.  I've been leaning some from him."  She smiled.  "It'll work out but be your own woman and make your own choices.  If you wanna stay with him, take the consequences of your actions.  Only we can screw ourselves up anymore."

Xander patted her on the back.  "You've healed."

"You're too touchy feely," she snorted.  He hugged her.  "Hey!  Get off!"  She got free and glared.  "Pain in the ass."  He grinned and laughed.  "Bastard," she said but she was grinning.  "See?  He's like a pesky brother."

"I even threaten her dates for her," Xander said with a grin.  "She threatened my boys."

"Huh," the younger Faith said with a stare.  "So maybe I'll go think tonight."

"Do that," Faith agreed.  "Maybe you won't be prison bound later.  It's not good."  She nodded, and the guards let her go.  Faith walked over.  "We'll get you home as soon as we can.  Even if I have to call in a favor or two."

"No need," Xander said.  "I can reopen the rip and send them back through."  The guards got the mayor.  Xander got them to the house and the rip was easily found.  He sent them back through then upped the security system.  He escaped back to Nila since no one was watching.

John shook his head.  "That's just bad of him," he decided, but he smiled at Faith.  "You were cute."

"Adorable but still soft," she quipped with a smirk back.  "It's time for me to prove I'm better now."

"Have fun with Ronon and sparring."  He left, closing the door behind himself.  He came back to check but the wall's rip was closed.  He hoped.  He had seen the memories of graduation and he did not want that on Atlantis.

***

Radek found Xander at dinner time, hauling him up and away from the spiny tentacle plants that were protecting him from the nurses.  "We will eat and go to bed."  He stared at him.  "At home."

Xander grinned.  "That's a brilliant idea."

"I am brilliant.  Of course it was."  He walked Xander off.  "You have three to break bad on tomorrow."

"Again?"

"Yes.  Pranking the sensitive military sorts.  Made one cry."

Xander huffed.  "Snakes?"

"Tentacles from a plant."

"They did what to a plant?" he demanded.

"I do not know."  Xander got free and walked in there, going to grab the three he knew were in trouble.  "What the fucking HELL did you do to my plant to prank the military guys?" he shouted.  They all flinched and so did one other.  "Well?" he demanded.

"It was a trimming of a bad tentacle," one of them defended.  "We didn't know it'd make them cry!"

"They probably got eaten by the one in Pegasus, which are all *larger* and hungrier."  She shrank back.  "I know damn well we saved at least ten soldiers, plus a jumper from the bigger, unchecked cousin of the ones on the atoll.  Not to mention a few *teams* from one of the ones like my Morticia.  Quit picking on them for being human!"  They all nodded, shrinking back away from him.  "No more pranks, people.  If you make someone cry, you get to hold them and sob with them when I do a transference so you understand and feel the same way.  That includes if we get someone who's pregnant."

They all nodded at that, looking down.  He glared at the three scientists.  "I don't care if you didn't mean to be that mean but that cutting was probably poisonous as well.  They do keep their poison even when dried."  They all shuddered.  "That single tentacle has enough poison in it to cook down to a pint bottle.  In the natural, uncooked state it can kill about half a platoon of wraith.  Cooked down, it can kill most of us.  It loses effectiveness when cooked."  That got a wince.  "You could have killed someone.  Did you even think to read the fact sheet on it?"  They shook their heads.  "Then you'll be doing that tonight and apologizing in private.  I don't care if you guys have fun and pull harmless pranks.  This wasn't.  This would be like me poking at someone's phobia.  Which you would call me a bully for."

"Yes, Xander," they all agreed.

"Go.  Take the food and go do that."  They ran off with their trays.  "Anyone else?"  No one said anything.  "We certain?"  Everyone nodded.  "The person who got the tentacle, did it touch you with the sap?  If so, did you hit the infirmary?  You don't have to out yourself.  I'm not that sort of mean.  Just be aware of these things.  I do not feel like going to a funeral."  The whole team nodded.  "Good.  Eat."  They got back to eating and talking.  Xander sat down with his boys.  "I was too mean, wasn't I," he said, noticing the wary looks.

"Perhaps but was needed," Radek assured him.  "With how many of us nearly got killed by those things it is not something we want to relive the thought of."

"Like the day I woke up to a very lifelike cardboard cutout of a wraith in my room," Evan agreed.  Xander stared at him impatiently.  "In Pegasus, Xander."

"Who?"

"John.  He's mean when he wants to be and he was twitting me over something."  He ate a bit.  "So I kindly let him do his own paperwork for a few weeks.  After all, there were always other things that needed to be done."

"Didn't you shoot that?" Radek asked him.

"Yeah, which was how the whole base knew why John was smirking evilly at me.  He said once he would've pranked Xander but if he had woken in the wrong state he might've blown us all up by accident."

"I'm not that bad.  Not like I sleep with artillery.  Just a little knife," Xander complained.

Evan stared at him.  "I noticed that."  Xander grinned.  "Thank you for bandaging it the night I took a nap on the bed and got stabbed."

"You're welcome."  He beamed.  "We have to visit the other plant repository later on this week for Dawn."

"I still like how all the tentacles protect you but they'll attack most everyone else," Evan complained, giving him a dirty look.

"They were getting friendly at first but none tried to eat me.  Morticia petted you a lot."

"I remember."  He stuffed his mouth again.  "How are they doing?"

"Wonderful."  He smiled.  "They've bred a whole bunch of little Addam's kids."  Radek smiled at that, shaking his head slightly.  "You don't like my plants?"

"I like the plants.  They remind me of you when you are playful."  Xander beamed at that compliment.

"Does he grow a tentacle too?" one of the women up the table asked with a grin.

"He doesn't need to," Evan assured her.  "He can tickle without an extra hand."

"You know, there's lots of species of demons that have tentacles and most of them are really nice," Xander told her with a smile.  "A few aliens too.  I had one explain how those things worked during my travels."  She gaped.  He smirked.  "They liked the plants too."  She whimpered and walked off to bang her head on a wall outside in the hallway.

Nila appeared.  "Dear, you're going to hurt yourself.  Go take a nap or do something to clear your mind instead."  She nodded, walking off rubbing her poor head.

"I saw that one in the memory review," Radek told him.  "He did seem quite sweet and very understanding at why you freaked out."  He smiled.  "It was good of him to teach you a new thing."  Xander smirked back.

Cam walked in.  "Harris, no more traumatizing people tonight," he ordered with a small smirk of his own.  "We need them able to sleep tonight so they can slave away in their labs tomorrow because we get new people then."  He sat down.  "Also, General Landry and the new guy over something else is showing up.  He's being read into the program in case O'Neill or Landry get too hurt."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  "Is he mean?"

"Maybe.  I don't know."  He dug in.  "What made her nearly cry that way?"

"We were talking about the alien who sat Xander down and explained what living being with tentacles do with them.  We were talking about how his tentacle plants were very protective of him and a lot like him when he's goofy and playing around."

Cam dropped his fork, staring at them.  "Don't be evil to me, guys!" he complained, taking his tray to his room so he could try to clear his mind.  He wanted all thoughts of Tentacle Master Xander out of his head.  He banged it on a wall to try since nothing else was.

Nila showed up to gently nag him as well.  She got one of the nurses to sedate him when it was starting to look like he was getting hysterical.  It was the kindest thing she could do.   Clearly the poor boy had overworked himself again.  That was a mean way for the trio to get a night off.

5: Allies And Friends

Xander grabbed his ringing phone.  "Yeah?" he answered.

//Xander, I think I need some help,// Jack said quietly.  //Dawn's got a final so I can't call her and I'm not real certain she can do anything about it anyway.//

"Why?"  He quit hammering in the post he was working on.  The others working on the self-supporting garden gave him a dirty look.  "What happened, Jack?"

"You work for us, not for Torchwood," Radek reminded him patiently.

//We seem to have a temporal disturbance,// Jack said.  //I'm pretty sure anyway.//

Xander sighed.  "Radek, he's got a temporal thing going.  I'll be taking lunch in Cardiff apparently."  He hung up and teleported to where Jack was.  He stared at the same brash, loud redhead his buddy was staring at.  "Huh."

"Xander?" she asked, looking confused.

"Yeah, Donna.  It's me."  He called and switched languages.  "Radek, I have the one who was with me at the thing in London the last time.  The one who went into the light," he said in Chinese.  "So yeah, it's a major issue.  I'll be back as soon as I can.  Even if I have to bend a bit."  He hung up.

"You're teaching Radek Chinese?" Jack asked with a smirk.

"I offered others but he wanted to learn Chinese.  It might come in handy with some of the scientists."  He smirked back.  "He's learning very well."

"I'm sure he is."  They looked at Donna again.  "How did you get here?"

"You act like I'm not supposed to be here," she said.  "Is it creating a paradox?"

"No," Xander said simply.

"But...  That would mean I'm not here."  They continued to stare.  "I died?" she demanded, glaring at them.  It was the only explanation for Jack's sad look and Xander being hesitant but a bit freaked out.

"Did you hear any stories about the Master?" Xander sighed.  She nodded slowly.  "He came back."  She growled.  "You, me, Doc.  London a little over a year ago.  He regenerated and you wouldn't let him go," he finished more quietly, moving closer.  He cast a sensing spell.  "Who sent you here?"

"One of the Ood."  She frowned.  "How long ago?"

"About fifteen months," Xander said, looking at her.

"Well, fuck him," she said.  "Who brought him back!"

"His wife so I'm sure she was missing that particular act," he shot back, earning a groan.  "What year were you on earth last?  Or, never mind.  What was the last thing you got into with Ten?"

"Hold on, he regenerated?"

"Yeah, he's a dork," Jack said bluntly but he was smiling.  "More than Ten ever was.  A bit more insane too."

She stifled a snicker.  "I won't tell him you said that.  One of the Ood said that I was needed here to create balance.  That the Doctor would be coming eventually.  What year is it?"

"2007," Xander told her.  She slumped.  He gave her a hug.  "Where did you appear?"

"Here."

"Haven't moved away, didn't go looking, nothing?" he checked.  She shook her head slowly.  He cast around.  "They sealed that hole very tightly."  A person got beamed down.  "General Landry, this is one of the Companions for Ten, Donna Noble.  Donna, my boss."

She smiled and shook his hand.  "I've seen quite a lot of Xander over the years.  Hopefully he doesn't drive you lot barmy."  She looked at Xander.  "So I'm really dead?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

"You wouldn't let Ten go when he regenerated," he said quietly.  "I begged and you refused, woman."

She huffed.  "Well!"

"We saved the world but he got injured."

"Does this happen to others?" she asked.

"How would I know?  People don't always stay dead on my project," Xander said dryly.  He looked around, then at Jack.  "I can't reopen it.  It's fully closed.  She's pre-Dalek moving thingy by a long shot."

"If we wouldn't get the lines crossed, I'd call him somehow," Jack admitted.  "Sorry, General, but Xander might have the only way of getting her back if necessary."

"I understand why, Harkness.  Sometimes you need to call a specialist."

"He's as close to a time lord as we have down here," Jack told him with a smile.  "Plus he's pretty handy to have around."

"I was working on our base's garden," Xander told him.  "I'll be up half the night planting anyway."  He looked at the woman.  "I have no idea what to do about this.  I should return you to your own time, before we create problems and change the time stream."

"That would be bad, yeah," she agreed, pushing her hair back.

He did a quick braiding charm, earning a pinch but a smirk.  "Not like I have a scrunchie and Dawn's not here."  He put an arm on her shoulders, pulling out his phone.  He looked then called.  "Hey, Eleven, it's Xander.  Do you want to yell at the Ood for sending Donna from about six years ago to present day Cardiff?"  He listened.  "Yeah, standing here.  She said an Ood did it to provide balance."  He saw the confused look on his boss's face.  "They're like Harry Potter divination teachers only they're aliens and have more cryptic in them."  He listened to the complaining.  "Well, she's not creating a paradox," he said dryly.  "But she was traveling with Ten."   He smirked at Jack.  "He'll come pick her up."

"Brilliant of him," Donna said with a grin.  "Maybe he can spank the Ood."

"Eww, I don't want to think about Ood sex games," Xander complained.  Jack burst out laughing.  "Well, I don't!"  He hung up.  "He's having disgusting thoughts now too."  He shook his head as a police box appeared.  "The Ood did it," he said when Ten walked out looking unamused.

"I heard."

"From Eleven?" Jack guessed.

"Yes."  He stared at her.  "What was the last thing we did so I can get you to the right spot?  Or Xander can really."

"I'd like him in this time zone if possible," General Landry said.

"It's a hard and fast law, you can only be in one place so many times," Jack told him.

They all stared at Donna.  She shrugged.  "A vacation with a moon tour?  The spa.  You had something going on."

"Were you at the spa?" the Doctor asked.  She smiled and nodded.  "Before we had dinner?"

"Yeah."

"Good.  Xander, can you?"

"Of course."

Ten stared at him.  "Something's not right," he said, moving closer, staring at the boy.  "What did you do?"

"Eleven and I had one of those 'you're a fucking ass' fights," Xander told him.  "He tried to say me calling the other companions down here to deal with that one special scientist that tried to turn Nila into a Tardis was usurping."

The Doctor shook his head quickly.  "So I said things, you shot back....."

"We gave him some time to talk, we let him off at a temple for some meditation time, which you suggested," Jack told him with a smug look.  "Even though I said it was a bad idea.  It was an Or templei."  The Doctor moaned, shaking his head.  "Eleven is not amused how they love you now."

Xander smirked at her.  "They thought it was absolutely brilliant."  He looked at the general.  "I'll be back on base in a few minutes if I hit the right target and I might even bring treats back."

"Come right back here, Xander," the Doctor ordered.

"Yes, mother."  He and Donna disappeared.  The people at the spa gaped in awe at him.  He just smirked.  "She got taken by someone.  I'm returning her."  He gave her a nudge and wiped the memory.  She glared but he grinned.  "No forward viewing," he said cheerfully.  "You know he hates it."  He let her go and disappeared.  He stopped at one spot well before humans to pick up a few treats, then landed back in Cardiff.  He handed Jack something.  "Give it to Ianto."

"Why are you spoiling my boyfriend?" Jack complained.

"So you can bitch and he can be creative in calming you down," Xander shot back with his most evil smirk.  "You're welcome."

"It is fun," he sighed, walking off shaking his head.

"Oh, no, I want to hear about this fight," Ten said, catching Jack to pull him and Xander with him into the Tardis.  The general could glare all he wanted.  Xander was sucking on something.  "What did you get?"  Xander held one up.  "What is that?"

He took the current hard ball out of his mouth.  "Seaweed and stuff."   He popped it back in.  "We're fine," he said around it.

"I'm sure you think you are but he did ask me to intervene when he sent me the message."  He stared at Jack, then at Xander.  "Well?"

"He said ...stuff.  Brought up some bad things," Jack said quietly.  "Some times you thought he could make a good new home."

"That is royally a bad idea of mine," he agreed with a sigh at the end, staring at his troublesome young one.  Xander was still sucking on the ball.  "What else was it about?"

"A lot of things I keep trying to ignore," Xander said around the treat.

The Doctor took it from him and handed it to Jack, who sucked on it instead.  "Hmm, not bad," Jack decided.  "Why does it have that fat taste?"

"It's their version of whale fat."  He looked at the Doctor again.  "We figured things out.  Then he decided I needed some meditation time.  Even tried to take my bracelet.  Thank God I haven't had to use magic seriously in the last little while."

The Doctor sighed.  "I should yell at him.  I really should."  He walked Xander back toward the more personal areas of the Tardis.  She had already moved all of Xander's areas closer.   "Jack, make some tea please?  I think it's time we talked a bit."

"Sure, Doc."  He went to make him something to calm the boy down with.  Otherwise Xander would feel like they were ganging up on him again.  That's what had happened the last time.  Jack looked out as the door opened, frowning.  "I thought we took off."

"You did, she came to get us," Evan said dryly, walking back that way.  "'Scuse us."  He took Xander and helped him up with a smile.

"He is ours to unkink now," Radek told him simply.  "The new version of you is crap."  He walked him off.

"I wanted to talk to him about what that version had done," the Doctor said patiently.  "You know Xander and I get on best."

"Apparently," Jack said.  "But we're off again."  He handed Evan a tray.  "Here, help me carry.  Then we can all sit and talk."  He looked at Xander.  "He's said stupid shit to me too," he reminded him quietly.  "Even great Time Lords don't always think."  Xander nodded he knew that, taking the tea tray from him.  "Thank you.  Where did you get these balls?"

"Sevin makes them."

"Me?" the Doctor asked.

"No, the ex who had the axe."

"Oh, her."  He coughed and shifted some.  "That's those little balls?"

"New flavor."

"You had some stored?"

"No, I visited in her old age."  He smirked.  "She still wants to own me.  Offered me her mine and treasures if she could have me for a day.  I only went to the shop."  He sat down, Evan and Radek sitting around him.

"Which one was she?" Radek asked.

"Um...."  He counted back.  "About my fifth on the trip."

"Really?" Jack asked.  "Hold on, she's...  How far back did you go?" he demanded dryly.

"A few good leaps and bounds?" Xander suggested dryly.  He smirked and waved a hand, summoning something.  He held it up.  Jack moaned, shifting some.  He handed it to Radek.  "She said that even if I wouldn't take it back, it is still mine."

"This was her version of your collar?" Evan asked.

"She was a cranky, opinionated, vicious woman who enjoyed the hell out of closets while others were around.  If Rodney had a twin, it's her only she's a genius in the kitchen."  Xander grinned.  "I liked the old woman but I couldn't stay.  She wouldn't let me get involved when civil unrest things started to happen for a very good reason.  When we disagreed on that, I left."

The Doctor stared at him.  "I should see some of the things you've done," he said quietly.  The boy gave a one-sided shrug.  "I would like to know."

"You'd probably disagree with some things since I did more than butt in."

"Perhaps," he agreed.  "But someone would want to know."

"I have that history book," Xander offered.  "It's about eighty percent right."  The Doctor stared.  "What?"

"I've seen a copy of that.  It was in the Great Library."  He took a sip of his tea and put the cup down.  "It was....nerve wracking to read.  It wasn't until I was through with a few wars that I realized it was you."  Xander smirked at him.  "You did do a lot of good for a great many people, Xander.  I'm sure even my hide-bound next incarnation can see that."

"He kinda dresses like a Watcher.  He was in tweed," Xander told him.

"Hmm.  I have no idea why.  I have fashion sense.  Nine had fashion sense.  Then again, the earlier ones, not so much fashion sense."  He smiled at the boy.  "I would like to know.  It appears we have to settle a few different things.   You're too thin."

"You nag like that's unusual," Evan pointed out.  "He's been thin since that first apocalypse he stepped into, when you brought him back.  He never regained some of that weight."

The Doctor looked at him then ran his screwdriver over Xander.  "I can see why.  What are you powering?"

"The lock on that time loop at the moment."  He took another sip.

"His wife can't do so again," Radek pointed out.

"Yes she can," Jack told him.  "The Time Lords would let her."  The Doctor gave him a dirty look.  "I had two of them in Cardiff the other day whining at Dawn about her skills and having closed the rift for a few days of peace and quiet.  She said she could still feel the temporal key that got them brought back and was going to undo it on them.  I made Owen take her out to lunch."

"With who and what Dawn is, it's not unexpected that she could," the Doctor said, considering it.  "Though it may drain her."

"Not if she's on a hellmouth or rift," Xander corrected.

"She could?" Jack asked.  Xander nodded.  "She can draw from it?"

"Unconsciously."  He shifted, leaning on Radek's shoulder a bit.  "She's unconsciously recharging now and then when she's overly tired.  Those days, the rift nearly closes and hums."

"I've heard that," Jack said, staring at him.  "How does she stop that?"

"Not wear herself out that far?" Xander suggested.  "It's unconscious but probably helpful for her.  The Key would do that anyway.  If she was traveling, any hole she ran into would be drawn to her to be fixed.  It's the same thing I get from the hellmouth radiation."  He shifted again and leaned on Evan's shoulder instead.  "That side's numb," he told Evan, earning a smile.  "Why are you wearing a bandage?"

"I slipped and fell."

"I'm putting deeper tread on your boots," Xander told him.  Evan smirked at him.  "You've fallen a few times."

"It's nothing.  Slick stairs."  Xander and Radek both stared at him.  "It was."

"Uh-huh," Radek said.  "We will be looking into that safety problem at home."

Evan smirked.  "Thanks.  Just a handrail would be nice."  Xander gave him a hug.  "Thank you too."  He handed Xander his tea and a few cookies.  "You missed lunch."

"I was going to nibble on the treats I got once I got back to the garden."

"The botanists said you were a slave-driver," Radek told him.  "They all went to have a long lunch and swim."  He handed Xander an extra cookie.  "Because you missed dinner last night as well."

"I was tired.  I had a few nibbles of stuff on the way to the bath."

Jack and the Doctor gave each other a look then the Doctor got up and grabbed Xander.  "Let's check on your garden."  He told the Tardis to keep them in there.  He walked into the garden area, watching Xander moan and sit down to work on the plants.  "My last companion wouldn't help me weed it at all.  I think she was a bit jealous."  He squatted down next to him.  "Why aren't you happy?" he asked bluntly, getting a growl back.  He reached over slowly, petting him.  Xander sighed but leaned into his hand.  "What did I say that was that bad?"  Xander shrugged.  "I know you can talk.  I made sure you relearned english," he teased with a soft smile.  Xander shook his head and went back to weeding things.  "This isn't healthy."

"I'm fine."

"Is it being on Nila?  Are they wearing on you again?"

"No."

"Is it that you're missing traveling?"

"I have my own," he pointed out.

"Don't tell me that.  I'll have to sigh and go check it out.  Make sure it won't cause problems when Rodney steals it from you."  Xander snorted.  "Remind them about the rules before you take them.  Including John."  Xander gave him a confused look.  "Not like I know you wouldn't."  He sat down, staring at him.  "Tell me."

"It's nothing."

"Bull."  He pulled the boy closer.  He grabbed something off a plant and fed it to the boy by force.

"Damn it, I end up broadcasting," he complained, trying to spit it out.

"Exactly."  He stared at him.  "That way I know what's wrong and so do your boys."

"They wanted to go to Sunnydale."

"Really?  Was it a bad attack?"

"Normal patrol."  He shrugged.  "It's nothing."

The Doctor was starting to feel the tickle of the broadcast.  He stared at him.  Xander was almost family to him.  It was the most complicated relationship he'd ever had.  Jack... well he was like a companion, sometimes more, and a lot of frustrating but mostly fun.  Xander...  Wasn't like that to him.  With what he had seen, he wanted to protect the boy but he would never be allowed to do it.  Evan and Radek wouldn't be allowed to either.  Xander was too independent.  He reached over to pet him.  The boy flinched and squeezed his eyes shut.  "It has been years since you did that," he said quietly.  He shifted closer, petting the boy.  Xander relaxed into his touch.  "Tell me," he ordered.

Xander shrugged.  "It's nothing.  Just tired."

"That's because you don't take good care of yourself.  You fuss over everyone else.  It's like you're a house elf sometimes."  Xander scowled at him.  "It is.  Do you deny you're not taking care of yourself?"

"There's a lot to get done."

"But you're not the only one doing it," he pointed out.

"Some days."

"When was the last time you took a bit off?"

"We went on vacation together."

The Doctor felt a tickle of thought about that topic.  "So, which family did you meet?"

"Radek's."

"Hmm.  Which one was it?"  Xander looked at him.  He stared back.  "I know you better than most, padawan."

Xander grimaced.  "It's nothing."

"Did you talk to Radek?"

"He said his mother was just fussing."

"Hmm."  He gave him a hug.  "If Radek is yours, then he's yours.  Is he your pack?"  Xander nodded immediately.  "Is he closer to you than Dawn is?"

"I'm fairly certain."

"Are you scared of being that close?" he asked gently.  Xander scowled at him.  "Way back when, Donna thought that you might have a problem connecting when you finally found someone worthy of you."

"No!"

"Do you talk to them?"

"Yeah, all the time."  The Doctor stared at him.  "If they ask."

"Hmm.  Do you bring up anything?"

"If they want to know."

The Doctor looked at him.  "You are frustrating," he said gently, smiling at him.  "I should do that thing at that temple to you three."  Xander gave him a horrified look.  "It may help."

"It'd bond us together forever."

The Doctor smiled.  "Which is brilliant in some ways."  He gave him another pet.  The boy moaned, tipping his head a bit.  A box plopped in front of him.  He stared at it.  "I think she's more psychic than usual.  Wasn't that in your closet?"

"I thought I had brought it with me the last time and given it to Rodney."

"Apparently she took it back."  He opened the box, looking inside.  Xander was trying to get it from him but oh well.  He smirked as he held up the two pendants.  "You need another one."

Radek walked in.  He stared at his boy, then took the necklaces from the Doctor.  He handed them to Xander, who put the box back together.  "If he does not want to let us in that deeply, that is his choice," he said bluntly.  He stared at his boy.  "What did my mother say?"

"A lot."  He didn't look up, just concentrated on the box.

The Doctor leaned over to grab another berry.  Xander took it from him but the Doctor took it back with a smile.  "Here.  You should try those."

"They do what?"

"They let you broadcast empathically for a few hours."

"Hmm."  He ate it and hauled Xander up.  "Is there somewhere we can lock ourselves to talk?"

"His bedroom."

"Thank you."  He walked Xander off.  Jack got Evan in there for him.  Radek looked at the door.  "Ma'am, may we please be locked in here for a bit?  We need to talk."  The door locked.  "Thank you."  He looked at Xander.  Then at Evan.  He held up the berry he had found on the bed.  "Eat it."  Evan nodded and did.  They laid down around the boy, feeling the trickle from Xander's mind.  "What did my mother say?"

"A few things."

"Hmm.  The grandchild issue?" Evan asked.  "Or that there's three of us?"

"Or just that you're men?" Radek asked quietly.

Xander nodded.  "She did mention that a few times.  Right before she went to church."

Radek huffed.  "Mother needs beaten.  You two are my choice."  He kissed Xander.  The trickle got deeper when Xander wasn't concentrating.  He and Evan shared a look and decided to distract their boy.  Evan got Xander shirtless and on his stomach, finding some oil to do a massage with.  Radek was working on Xander's legs because they had been cramping recently.  Xander sighed in pleasure but they both felt the unhappy thoughts.

Evan stared.  "Want me to stop?"

"No."

"But you're not liking it."

"I think this comes back to my mother again," Radek told him.  Xander flinched.  "We are not going to leave you.  No matter what she wants."

"You'll still leave me anyway," Xander said.

"Only if you make us," Evan corrected.

Xander looked at him.  "And if there's another battle?"

"Then you'd better call," Radek told him.  "So we can help."

"You'll still leave anyway," Xander told him.

Radek sighed, sitting next to his head.  "Xander, no one will live as long as you will," he said.  "That does not mean that we do not wish to."  He stared at him.  "There are not many with this problem."

Evan swallowed.  "You're right."  He gave him a cuddle.  "I don't want to lose you and with some of your battles I'm more worried that we'll lose you."

"As you told Jack, life is pain.  We will spend however much time we can with you, being happy and together."  Xander looked at him.  "If we die before you do, then you will grieve and eventually come out of hiding to find someone you like just as much."  Xander glared at him.  "I do not expect anything less.  If you mope for the rest of your very long life, then there is nothing that would stop us from coming back to beat you to death."

Evan snickered.  "Even if we do ascend," he agreed.  He kissed him on the back of the neck.   "We'd want you to be happy."

"I've been trying to fix that part," Xander said quietly.

Radek scowled.  "If you do, you could be harmed.  I will not allow it.  There will not be any actions that could harm you in any way."

"I agree," Evan said.  "It's sucky but you're immortal or nearly so.  We will spend as much time with you as we can.  But you've got to quit taking stupid chances."  He gave him a squeeze.  "No more battles without telling us.  That way we can help or at least worry."

"I don't want you guys to worry."

"We have had this talk," Radek reminded them.  "We would rather worry than wonder."

"I hate... I hate making you guys disappointed or worry," he admitted quietly.

"That too is life," Radek said, looking at Evan.

Evan smiled and nuzzled the back of Xander's head.  "We worry because we care.  There's been plenty of days I've been worried about you.  Even before we started seeing each other.  You seem to be this fantastic being.  You do amazing things.  You make McKay swear at things beyond his minions."  Radek snickered.  "Underneath, you're a man.  One who has a past that makes me cringe because they might try to come get you back."  Xander frowned at him.  "If those vampires show up, I'm going to have McKay build me something to destroy them.  Every last one on the planet."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "I am."

Radek nodded.  "I have been thinking about how."  Xander scowled at him.  "They do not deserve you and will not have you unless I am gone and cannot help you."  He took a kiss.  "Also, we are going to make you let us protect you sometimes."

"I'm...."

Evan moved over, kissing him.  "Shut up, Xander.  If you can protect us, we can protect you right back."  He took another kiss.  "You can't be our protector if we can't do the same."

"I'm better at protecting you two."

"So?" Radek asked.  Xander stared at him in confusion.  "We feel the same desire you do to protect us."  Xander slowly shook his head.  "Yes we do."

"That is part of being in love," Evan agreed.  Xander stared at him.  "Really.  I feel the same need to be overprotective and make sure you're safe that you do for us.  The next time you have to take off to handle something, I'm going to be beamed there to help if I can."

"And I'll bring more weapons," Radek agreed.

Xander gave them confused looks.  "It's what lovers do," Evan pointed out.  "If your others had been any good for you, they would feel the same way."

"This is different from the 'he's my property' thing that they all had," Radek added.  "We don't own you, we just want to hold you and make you feel good."

"Though, if you insist, I'll buy you a necklace so you can have a half-step," Evan sighed.

"No!"

"Good."  He took another kiss.  "Then we'll talk about exchanging jewelry some other time."

"But...."

"Shut up, Xander.  Some day I will want you to wear something I have bought you.  Something expensive, exquisite, and tasteful."

"Hmm.  I'd like to see him in something we picked out," Evan agreed.  "When he's ready."

"But...." Xander started, blinking hard.  "You guys are thinking rings?"

"Some day," Evan agreed.

"When we are all ready," Radek agreed.  "You would not agree?"

"No, of course I would," he breathed, staring at them.  He flipped onto his back, staring at Evan.  Then at Radek, who nodded.  "But your mother and uncle...."

Radek snorted, holding up a hand.  "My family will accept my choice or not.  You two are my choice.  I do not care that my uncle would like to buy me a young wife to give him children to spoil.  Or that my mother would adore little spoiled brats.  I'm sure Evan's family may feel the same at times but you are our choice.  Our families will learn to love you as we do or we will ignore their petty complaints."

Evan coughed.  "Radek, your mother threatened me," he said quietly.  Radek stared at him, mouth slightly open.  "If I didn't leave this ungodly union so you could be free.  That I could keep Xander, but I had better give you up."

"Your Uncle had catalogs from bridal magazines and one from a marriage broker," Xander sighed.  Radek let out a swear and shifted away.  "I didn't want to upset you."

"I understand that and I appreciate it," he assured them.  He took kisses and smiled.  "They will not win."

"His mother kinda hinted that she knew people who'd love to bring you home by force," Xander said quietly.  He looked down, playing with the sheets.  Evan gave him a cuddle.  "I'm okay."

Radek cleared his throat, tipping Xander's face up.  "My mother is not that mean, nor will she win.  I will warn others.  They will be rabid so I can be cuddly instead."  Xander snorted.  "I am."

"You're very cuddly," Xander agreed with a shy smile.  "When you want to be."

"I do like to be cuddly.  Especially when you are cuddly as well.  Evan I can talk into it easier.  You work too hard.  Even though others do not see why."  He cuddled them both.  Xander made a good cuddle helper.  They liked it when Xander was the filling in the cuddle sandwich.  Evan looked at Xander's head.  "What?" Radek asked.

"He hasn't been taking care of himself again, Radek.  The Doctor said he missed meals."

"He is too skinny but has been a problem since that first battle with the shield."

"He used to miss meals all the time on Atlantis," Evan pointed out.

"Hmm.  I do remember him working all day with only a soda."  He looked at Xander.  "I think that is a bigger problem.  Like his need to protect us, I believe that was something that should be corrected."

"I eat enough."

"You missed dinner," Radek reminded him.

"I had some veggies on my way to the shower."

"That is not a meal," Evan said.  "We're going to make you eat with us."

"I do eat when you guys do."

"We don't eat regularly either," Radek agreed.  "I need to stop that.  Will stop my stomach from complaining."

"It's been cramping?" Xander asked.

"No, it growls at me.  Is disgusted with me sometimes."  He took another kiss and cuddled in again.

"Bloody Hell!" the Doctor shouted from another room.  "XANDER!"

Evan walked out there, staring at him.  "What?"  The Doctor pointed at the screen.  He looked.  "Xander, I think John broke into your closet," he called.

"You actually built one?" the Doctor demanded, looking at the two walking out holding hands.

"Awww," Jack said with a grin.  He handed them plates.  "Eat.  Please.  Even I can feel that you're hungry."  He looked at the Doctor.  "It came out of hiding and was in his closet. Or so Dawn said."

"How good is it?" the Doctor demanded, giving them a stare.

"Probably needs charged," Xander admitted.  He looked at the plate.  "Huh?"

"It's food.  You eat it so you can stay alive and with us," Evan quipped.  "Before I spank."  Xander groaned but ate.

"Thank you," Radek told Jack.  He ate his own lunch and Evan ate his.

"So you built your own Tardis," the Doctor checked, holding up his two index fingers.  "And she's probably just like this one?"

"No AI or sentient being in it," Xander said.

"Uh-huh," Jack said.  He sighed, looking at his friend.  "Dawn's been redirected when I caught her studying the spells to do the same thing.  I had a talk with Owen about her studies being bad for his sex life."

"Bloody hell, you guys are going to drive me insane," the Doctor complained.

"It's not like I wanted them to borrow it," Xander complained.  He moved to the control panel and found what he needed with a small light shining on it.  "Baby, can you merge with mine?"  She let out a twang somewhere.  "Please?"

"They can't merge in flight," the Doctor said, coming over to stop him before he broke something.  "Did I teach you how to drive one?"

"No.  Nine did when I ran into him during that trip back from the Ori temple."

The Doctor hugged him.  "You drive me insane in all my incarnations, Xander.  Never change."  He input a few commands and made the other tardis land with his.   He opened the door and walked over to the other one, pounding before walking in.  Xander's wasn't a police box.  It looked more like a wardrobe.  "What are you two doing?" he asked calmly.  He was even smirking.

"He insisted," John complained, pointing at Rodney.

"He said he can fly anything," Rodney said at the same time, pointing at John.

"I'm going to paddle you both until you beg the Universe for mercy."

Xander strolled in.  "Did I let you two have the keys?" he asked dryly.  "Or is this like when Radek won that ship and you guys got too curious and pushy?"

"Then," John sighed.

The Doctor swatted them both as hard as he could, enjoying their yelps.  "I owe you more.  Many more.  Not even Jack can do things this badly."

"Hey!" Jack complained from the doorway.  He looked around.  "Sparkles.  Very girlish, Xander."  The tardis shut the door in his face.

Xander shrugged.  "Okay."

Radek sighed, looking up.  "Are you as sentient as the Doctor's tardis?" he asked.  She flashed her lights.  "Xander."

"I did not," he said.

"Uh-huh," the Doctor said, staring at him.  "How did she gain sentience then?"  He got shoved by the floor.  "Ah!  You took something from Nila."

Radek mumbled and a bubble got blown in his direction.  "You do not have hands to wash my mouth out with soap."  He looked at the two bosses.  They both smirked at him.  "What have you two screwed up?"

"We've only just begun," Rodney told him.  "We've only hit one place."

"Oh hell no," the Doctor assured him.  "Mine, now, boys."  They stomped that way under Evan's poking and prodding.  "Xander."

"Not my idea to do it this way," Xander said.  "And I built her while drunk."

He looked around.  "Was that before or after Seti?"

"Um, right after.  Hence the sparkles."  He looked at Radek.  "My leash holder there decided I looked darling in purple sparkles.  I was still recovering."

"We can repaint," he assured him, cracking the Doctor up, but he was shaking his head.  "We can."

"Only if I let you keep her.  My Tardis now, boys."  They sighed but walked that way.  Jack was ranting at John and Rodney.  "We'll see, but for now, that's my job, Jack.  Can you perhaps make some more food?"  He glared at Xander's back.  "Because *someone* is still hungry."

"Again, our job," Evan told him firmly, staring at him.  The Doctor smirked at him for that.  "How many of them gave him jewelry?  We ask because some day we're going to be picking out something exquisite and meaningful.  We don't want to duplicate or anything."  Xander squeaked and blushed.

"Most of them only seemed to buy possessive things," Jack said with a grin.  "Exquisite and meaningful?"

"Don't pick on my boys," Xander ordered.

"It's normal to tease friends," Jack countered.

Radek looked at him.  "I have excellent taste.  Of course it will be special and meaningful.  Without being ownership-like."  Rodney and John were gaping at them.  "Is about time," he assured them.

"Definitely," Rodney agreed.  "Don't make me do anything foolish for the wedding."  Xander made squeaky noises.  He smirked back.  "Of course we'll be there.  Along with the irritating blonde you used to hang around with."

"You do invite friends to those things," John agreed with a grin of his own.

"If I let you two live that long," the Doctor reminded them.  Xander ducked behind Radek.  "I'm not spanking you this time.  Maybe."  He walked the two idiots into another room to yell at them.  Though he would be at the wedding himself.

***

General Landry heard his phone ring and moved over to the desk to answer it.  "Landry."

//Hi, General,// Buffy said cheerfully.

"Miss Summers."  He sat down.  "Is there a problem?"

//No, I'm sharing some information I got last night.//

"What now?" he moaned, shaking his head.  "Another apocalypse attempt?"

//No, but I can not tell you what I heard if you want,// she offered dryly.

"It's not that.  It's Congressional season."

//Ah, the big, demon cocksucking dorks are trying to climb into your uniform with you.  Gotcha.  Well, I can give you something that might make you moan more.//

"Sure, what did you find out?"  He was trying to block out the vision of what she had said.  Eww.

//I got told last night by a demon, a peaceful one, that there is a warehouse in the middle of nowhere that holds mystical and non-mystical artifacts.  Apparently he was complaining that his brother had tried to break in there.  He said the Secret Service weren't happy to find him in there.  That they apparently guard it and when I asked about the stuff Xander does, the demon admitted some stuff from you guys or the cities might be there.//

"Did Xander tell you...."

//No.//  She was clearly happy.  //Some of the demons did.  They recognized the city and the one hiding.  Some of them can see through those sort of illusions.//

"Good to know."  He started to make notes.  "Where is this warehouse?"

//All I heard was the middle of nowhere in the Midwest.  It's guarded by two Secret Service people, ones that had been in DC and dealt with something about a disappearing sword.....  The guy said someone named Micha was part of that, one of the new guardians.  They have an overlording boss who's a bit mean and evil.  They think she's demonic.//   She coughed.  //I can find him and put you two together.//

"No, I should be able to search from this information.  Thank you, Miss Summers."

//Not a problem,// she said cheerfully. //Ooh!  And Willow said that she accidentally ran into an uber-geek think tank run by the DOD looking for papers for a college paper.//

"One of our scientists?"

//No, apparently these guys do less practical things.  Like create things?  She looked up the guy's credentials since it didn't say he was teaching somewhere.  Apparently there's a whole town or something of super geek brains doing weird stuff.  She said their weird meter was up there with ours and they should have sent the Initiative boys there first so they wouldn't have freaked out here.  But she said there's no demons.  I had her email that stuff to you so she couldn't get into trouble and be recruited for life.//

He smiled.  "I don't know what I'd do with her, Miss Summers, so that might be up to Miss Jones and UNIT.  Thank her for me and thank you as well for giving me that information.   Have a good night."

//You too and make the big dork write mom.//

"Earlier he went to help someone at Torchwood with something temporal and then the Doctor apparently stole him from Nila to yell at him for it.  Then Radek, Evan, and a few others suspiciously left as well."

//Xander has more than two boys?//

"No.  I think they're off doing something with something he found."

//Oh.  Yeah, that can happen with Xander when he's in geek mode.  Anyway, tell the big dork to write my mother please and to tell the phone box guy that he's been a good boy so he doesn't spank.  The new one was here last night to recharge for a bit and got horrified by patrol.  So...  We'll see.  Anyway, have a good day.//  She hung up.

He smiled as he hung up, getting into his email to get those notes.  What he saw amused him.  They had the rest of the PhD's he'd been trying to get for the last six months.  He sent an email to his boss in DC.  Jack could ask about those two topics.

***

Jack O'Neill was let into the head of the Secret Service's office, nodding politely as he shook his hand.  "Thank you for seeing me."

"I'm hoping this isn't informing us that you've heard we're going to have some major invasion problems again."

"Harris hasn't said anything about it, the wraith were defeated on the way here for one project, though we're on the lookout for any others that might show up, and the Ori are slowly being whittled down."

"That's wonderful news.  We can relax a bit.  So, why did you want to talk?"

"Someone that Mr. Harris knows passed along some information about a warehouse some of your people guard in the middle of nowhere that has supposedly mystical artifacts that may have pieces from our project."

"I don't think I've heard of such," he admitted, looking at his computer so he could call up a file.  "Where is it?"

"All she said was in the midwest, in the middle of nowhere.  That two of yours are the new guardians.  That they had been in DC and something about a disappearing person, a sword..."

The Head of the Secret Service moaned, shaking his head.  "I remember that incident."  He looked up their names.  "Hmm.  That's an unusual code."  He looked it up.  "I'll be damned.  How do they get their information?" he asked.

"Demons.  She's the Council's girl."  The man looked horrified so Jack grinned.  "Harris used to hunt with her out in Sunnydale.  When we got him, I gave her two newly retired people of mine.  Every now and then I lend her more for the bigger problems.  Like LA."

"I still have nightmares about that.  Thankfully you sent along a message that it could happen during that month so we were a bit prepared to hide our people.  You were on the ground?"

"Most of my program was on the ground.  They still have nightmares too probably."

"Can it happen again?"

"No idea.  She said that it took over a century to plan that one."

"Good to know.  I've sealed a copy of the full report we got out of the people in LA who deal with such things plus video of the invasion for my successors."

"So did I," Jack agreed.  "Because we clearly needed to be aware."  They smiled at each other.  "Also, I'm hearing rumors of another super geek think tank outside ours.  We're still hiring geeks.  Heard anything about that?"

"All I've heard about that goes back to your own people.  They're Defense Department."  He found what he needed.  "Ah!  Here's a small bit that they didn't clean up after."  He printed it for the general.  "That is where her paycheck is being sent."

Jack read it and smiled.  "Thank you.  Any idea who I contact to see if anything of our project is in there?"

"From what I'm seeing, they're the sort to contact you."

"Even better.  I'll be in my office most of the day then."  He shook his hand.  "Let us know if anything is going on that we need to hear."

"Of course.  I'd never want to deal with aliens.  It might make my head throb."  Jack walked out happier.  He called someone to warn her and let her know that O'Neill wanted a meeting about possible artifacts he should have instead of the Warehouse.

***

A squat, unhappy, black woman in a severe business suit walked up to where Buffy was hanging out that night.  "Miss Summers."

"Yup?"  She turned to look at her.  "What's wrong?  You look like an agent."

"I am, Miss Summers.  How did you find out about our Warehouse?"

"A new contact told me so I could pass it on to Xander."  She threw a stake and dusted the vampire trying to sneak up on the woman.  Since most Feds knew after the invasion, she could freak out or not.  The woman didn't even react beyond glancing back.  "They thought it might have some of his project."

"You are not the normal young woman.  What are you?"

She smirked.  "The Council's girl."

"Oh, I see."  She considered the young woman.  "You're above average age for them."

"That's because I had Xander and Willow."

"You could do good things helping handle the artifacts."

"Then who would patrol and handle apocalypses?"

"That is a good point.  One I can accept.  Where is this Xander working?"

"On that new lab city."  She smirked.  "He works for Generals O'Neill and Landry."

"Interesting.  I've heard about their project."

"I don't get to but I understand why.  The Underground is very happy to have them both back though.  I know I told General Landry what I heard because that guy's brother had tried to break in but didn't get to, and he thought that parts of their project might be there.  And about the geek-brain-city in Oregon."

"I've heard rumors about them," she admitted.  "I'll talk with them then.  Do not tell anyone about us," she said, glaring at her.

Buffy snickered.  "I've seen worse scowls on the kitten demons."  She pointed at one that was scowling.  "See."  The woman looked startled at that then at her.  Buffy smirked.  "What can I say?  Anyway.  Talk to the Generals."  The two military guys Jack had sent her strolled past the kitten demons.  "Bad game, guys?"

"Not bad," one admitted with a smile for the other woman.  "Ma'am."

"She needs to talk to General Jack or Landry."

"Hmm.  It's probably easier to find O'Neill since Landry's at Cheyenne all day," the other told her.  "O'Neill's in DC."

"I'll find him tomorrow.  Thank you.  Please do not spread any more information about us, Miss Summers."

Buffy looked at her.  "Only if you're keeping the bad things safely away from people.  Because then it becomes my job with my team."

"Good point."  She walked off, looking constipated.

Buffy shook her head.  "Some people need to get on Anya's plan so they can lighten up."  The guys snickered and they went to see what was wrong with the kitten demon.  They only scowled like that when they were in heat.

***

Jack finally found the general over the other DOD think tank that afternoon.   "General."

"I can say the same, O'Neill.  Why did you track me down?" he asked.

"I've been trying to recruit for Nila, General Mansfield."

"I've heard."

"You apparently have half the people I'd recruit somewhere in Oregon in a completely hidden small town."

The general blinked at him.  "How did you hear about that?  It's Presidential oversight only."

"So are we.  How did you hear about us?" he asked dryly.

"Only the things about the new city."

"Ah."  He smirked.  "We need to share."

"I can get permission to read you in."

Jack called.  "Ma'am, it's General O'Neill.  I need a quick phone talk."  He was put through.  "Ma'am," he told the Secretary of State.  "O'Neill.  Yes.  Because there's another program that has the same oversight we do but we need to talk about personnel matters.  I'm trying to poach and tempt."  She said something.  He put her on speaker.  "There you are, ma'am."

"General, why would you need them?"

"Ma'am," the Mansfield said.

"Oh, it's you," she said flatly.  "You give us headaches like the other ones does."

"It appears that we need to borrow some of their personnel," Jack told her.  "For the labs."

"I see.  Give me a second."  They were put on hold and she went to tell the president what was going on.  He didn't want to hear about O'Neill so they had screened him to her desk.  "Sir."  He looked up from his paperwork.  "General O'Neill found out about Eureka.  He's asking for permission to talk to Mansfield about both projects."

"If they give us more trouble, I'm putting O'Neill under that think tank," he said blandly.  "Maybe they can find a way to calm down Harris."

"Yes, sir, thank you."  She went back to her office.  "Generals, I have been told that if you keep giving us headaches, your two projects will end up underneath the auspices of Eureka's board," she said bluntly.  "So for now you two may discuss things."  She hung up.

Jack looked at the other general.  "Not my fault he pissed off my second-top linguist."

The other general snickered.  "He did?  How?"

"You know all those scandals?  That was Harris getting back at him for trying to treat him like a slave and a media darling since he didn't want attention at all."

The other general quit laughing.  "You're serious?"

"Yup."

"Damn it!"  He leaned back.  "Where is he from?"

"Sunnydale.  He was helping the Council's girl.  Helped bring down a project out there that was special ops."

"I heard about that.  I'd like to beat their asses."

"They just got moved from the UN's squads to Homeworld."

"Awww, that's so nice."  He stared at him.  "What project are you over?"

"The Stargate program."

"Space?"

"No, we've been there.  A lot.  Other galaxies.  Two cities from the Ancients."  The man gaped.  "I heard you have geeks we can use."

"I have a great many geeks.  What do you need them for?"

Jack handed over the folder he had been carrying under his arm.  "That's Nila and her labs.  Which is the known version.  There's another city and we are on Homeworld Defense."

He read it over then gave him the most horrified look.  "Seriously?"

"Yeah.  We've been in operation for years now.  Finally got it open about ten years ago.  No, eleven now since the first trip."  The other general moaned, shaking his head.  "We're backward engineering some things, but we do have labs that can do things we can't.  A lot that could use fixed.  My geeks are going to be teaching all geeks for years to come about this stuff.  Most of my geeks have been on or near combat stations at least a year.  They're jumpy, some are downright twitchy.  Some are very antisocial.  I have McKay and Zelenka doing most of the teaching."

Mansfield shuddered.  "I tried to recruit McKay once."

He smirked.  "He's head over the other city but is often found fixing the things on Nila that need it since she was meant to be a temporary city to figure out which building methods they wanted to use."  He pulled something out of his pocket and put it on the desk.  "Nila?"  She appeared, smiling at him.  "This is General Mansfield.  Underneath him is a super science think tank I'm trying to recruit from.  Can you show him some of the labs on your docking bay please?"

"Can I get the medical center built sooner?"

"Why?  Were there injuries today?"

"No, but the water's been a bit rough and nearly everyone's seasick."

"Do the docs know?"

"Oh, yes.  She beamed over with a lot of medicine."  She beamed at him.  "They would still like some and I had to suspend work for the day because of the storm that's coming.  My shields will hold some of it but the water's too choppy and someone might get hurt.  Also, when do I get Xander back?"

"Where are they?"

"With the Doctor.  He stole Xander after he went to help Captain Harkness with something temporal he said.  Then the nice Tenth one came to get him.  John and Rodney disappeared from Atlantis as well.  She has no idea where they are and my child is worried."

"I'll find out in a minute."  She beamed and squealed, giving him a hug.  Not that he could feel it but it was good for her.  "Can you show him some of our things, maybe some of the neater things on Atlantis so I can steal some of his geeks for Xander to confuse and lord over?"

"Of course, as long as they're nice."  She put up pictures and went through the whole spiel Xander had worked up with Radek to recruit.  The general was gaping in awe at it.  So maybe she would get some new family she could stand.

Jack looked smug.  The other general looked at him.  "I need her to meet with my town's top geeks."

"That's fine," he agreed.  "As long as they're cleared to know."

"I can clear them to know.  That way we can switch teams.  I have a lot of geeks who would love your city more."  He smiled at the illusion.  "Ma'am, are you a fully sentient AI or a person in a room with a projector?"

"You're so sweet," she cooed, patting him on the head.  "I'm Nila, the City's AI.  My child, Atlantis, has her own."  She cycled through her images.

Jack frowned.  "Nila, is one not working right?"  She gave him a sheepish look.  "What did you do?"

"I leant one to Xander's fancy wardrobe that has computer and mystical things in it so it can help him when he travels."

"He built his own?" Jack demanded.

"I believe that's where my child thinks John and Rodney went to."

"Uh-huh.  I'm spanking them all."

"The Doctor has them.  Radek and Evan went to get him back.  I'm told that's romantic."

"It is," Jack said dryly.  "Still.  When the idiots get back, I want them in my office."

"Yes, General Child Jack."  She beamed and disappeared.

Jack shook his head.  "I love having Harris but he drives me nuts some days."

"Mystical and scientific things?"

"Harris time traveled."  The other general whimpered.  "He's not allowed to do it anymore without permission.  Or McKay since he figured out his own version."

"My geeks might not be as advanced as yours," he said weakly.

"It's only those five that get into that sort of trouble.  But if they're used to strange things, I can send them Kavanagh and his hellhound mother."

"He's a demon?"

"No, she adopted him.  Through her he, and those five, have ties to Torchwood."  He smirked.  "I'm used to geeks driving me insane.  They just do a better job than even Jackson did."

"My group is going to freak out but I can see why you need more sane geeks.  I'll call mine to DC in a few days.  We were thinking about putting in a new head."

"Put them under us.  Harris will find a new way to jump in," Jack quipped.

"I may at that."  They shook hands.  "Let me call out there."  Jack nodded and left with the image projector and the project files.  That general sat there, his head throbbing, and wondered if this was the worst he could find for strange things in the government.  If not, maybe that annoying sheriff of his town's would go there instead?

***

O'Neill looked up as his office was invaded by a blue police box.   "About time," he complained when the door opened.

John Sheppard walked out.  "It wasn't intentional, General."

"Uh-huh."  The others got walked out.  Xander and the Doctor were talking.  He looked him over.  Harris looked different.  Less hard maybe.  He stared at the boy.  "Did you have to cause more problems?"

"It's not my fault they broke into it and took it for a joyride."

Jack stared at him then at Radek.  "What's your part of this story?  I already heard from Nila you went to retrieve him."

"I gathered Xander to talk to him because I noticed he was having some problems like he had when he was traveling," the Doctor told him firmly.  "We've gotten a good bit of everything straightened out."  He and Xander grinned at each other.  Then he smiled at Evan and Radek, who smirked back.  "I think this family unit is very strong.  Even with the two pesky big brothers who took his tardis for a test drive."  He glared at them and they just smirked and waved.  He looked at the general.  "I've already paddled those two and made sure they didn't screw anything up.  I've made sure that Xander is happy where he is as well."

"Are you?" Jack asked him.

"Yeah."

"There's been some stresses, sir," Evan said.  "Some of the nerds that don't believe you're smart without a test score and papers from a college.  Again."

"I'm going to paddle her to death," Radek assured him.  "One of the new botanists."

"Technically Jack did need Xander to help him.  It was the only way it could be solved without warping some of the time stream or changing history," the Doctor told him.  "So he was wise to call him.  Then I noticed someone had lost weight."

Jack sighed.  "I'm supposed to be told these things, kids."  He stared at the boy.  "Do I need to put someone out there?  Like another shrink?"

"No.  I'm good.  We're solid and all that, Jack," Xander said.

"It was more stuff that was leftover from the traveling and having to remind Xander of some things," Radek told him.  "We have gotten him to take better care of himself and have only gotten closer."

"Good."  He looked at the other two.  Then back at Evan and Radek.  "How long have you two been gone?"

"A few hours," Evan told him.

"Even better.  Doctor McKay, Colonel Sheppard, your city is worried sick about you two disappearing."

"Wasn't intentional, sir," Sheppard said.  "I let my curiosity get out of hand."

"Are you a cat?" Xander teased with a grin.

"You change me into one again and I'm going to beat your ass, Xander," John assured him.

Rodney coughed.  "Please.  It was quite odd having to rescue my cat from the priestess this time."

"Well, that's what he wanted to do, snuggle in her lap," Xander shot back with an evil smirk.

"Fercryin'outloud, stop it," Jack ordered.  "Snark later."  He rubbed his forehead.  "For that, McKay, you and Sheppard are going to be called to a meeting in a few days to help talk to the other DOD geek think tank."  Rodney shuddered.  "Xander, report back to Nila.  What were you doing that made the entire scientist corps complain?"

"Planting our garden so we have food supplies.  They didn't know why it was necessary.  I told them a few times, including that things happen to supply shipments and that the kitchen could do better things with food that wasn't ordered.  Including that some were Pegasus plants.  They all said they should be in Botany.  I'm about ready to beat some of the new minions."

"Doctor Walters said the same thing but she did say you were a slavedriver."

"I didn't order her or Rebecca.  I ordered the smartass new minions who think they're big shits.  Be damned, Jack."

"I know.  I've heard this problem before.  How big is the garden?"

"About a third of the atoll."

"Even better."  He looked at the two idiots then at the Doctor.  "Can you make it so it doesn't happen again?"

"I'm still debating if that's a good idea.  It could leave Xander somewhere dangerous, which would make him solve it in odd ways, which could destroy the universe."

"I only did that once," Xander complained.  Everyone stared at him.  "They wanted to sacrifice me to their God, people.  All I did was call the bitch back."  He looked at the Doctor again.  "I'm not bad."

"I know."  He patted him on the head.  "I should give it to Jack."

"Dawn."

"That's why I haven't.  I'll give it to Sarah Jane," he decided with a smile.

"She thinks I'm really strange."

"Well...." he started, considering it.  "I'll ask the others then; be right back."  He left to go chat with his companions.

Jack glared at John and Rodney.  "You two are in so deep."

"Sorry, sir, my fault," John told him, standing stiffer.

"I have no doubt who proposed the plan, Sheppard.  Go back to your city.  I'll yell at you two later."  They got beamed back.  He glared at the trio.  "Major," he started.

"Sir, I'd quit," he said firmly.  "Then rejoin as a civilian."

"I know."  He sighed, looking at Xander.  "You could have talked to me."

"I had it under control."

Radek snorted.  "We have all been bad to ourselves.  We haven't finished calming down since we're in safer surroundings.  We have all worked ourselves too hard. We have our unit well in hand, General."

"Good!"  He looked at the boy again.  "These new geeks, I will make sure they know that you are not to be touched or screwed with."

"I'll throw 'em off the city like I'm about to do to some of the others," Xander assured him.  "I'm not putting up with it, General."

"I understand that and I agree."  He looked them over again.  "Go back to work.  I can't argue about you two saving him from his potential kidnaping for therapy."  They nodded and got beamed back to the city.  Jack got back to his paperwork until the Doctor showed back up.  "Who has it?"

"They agreed that Xander should keep it.  Jack has access to his house so it's locked in a room.  One that requires a special key that only Xander and his boys have," he assured him with a smile.  "Though, John and Rodney did help stop a civil war that I have been meaning to get into."  He handed over something.   "I've gotten to the root of a great many things.  Xander and his boys will be just fine now," he said quietly, but he was smiling.  "They're very tight and they've all figured out how to keep things from getting bad again.  Plus they got to see some of Xander's memories.  Also, I made him take some of the samples he has in my garden back.  Radek has a list of those and some may be very useful to you and other projects."  He smirked.  "Now, I'll be off before the current incarnation has to show up on this planet the next time.  Have a better day, General."

"Give me some warning if you can, Doctor.  Even a phone call."  He handed over his card.  "On the back is my cellphone if you need me."

The Doctor beamed.  "Thank you."  He got back into his Tardis and went back to where he was supposed to be.

Jack was smiling but shaking his head once the box was gone.   "I wonder if Harris was that big a goofball before they met," he muttered.

***

Xander walked into the dining hall, seeing his people lounging around.  "Is it a free day, Evan?"

"No."  He popped a pill and swallowed it with his current cup of coffee.  "Radek, can you deal with the motion dampeners?"

"Nila, can you please make us quit swaying so much?" Xander asked.

"I've tried but I can't find the right counter balance, Xander," she reported, appearing in front of them.  "The inertia dampeners will only do so much."

"So float just a bit higher in the water," Radek told her.  She beamed at him and tried it.  It worked.  The decks quit swaying.  "Thank you.  Was stomach turning."  He smiled at his people.  "I did not call free day, people."  They groaned but got back to work.  "Xander, there's obviously going to be a storm."

"The gardens are shielded.  I set up the shield generator myself," he promised.

"It's still working, I checked, Xander."  Doctor Walters smiled.  "It's a good planting.  Though there's some I've never seen."

Radek looked at her.  "Some are from his garden and travels.  We have a few other cuttings as well.  We put them in Botany already."  She ran off to check them over.  He looked at Nila.  "I will work on how to dampen that for you."  She nodded.  "For now, use the shield to block some underneath you."  She looked awed and tried it.  It helped even more.  She could quit floating and it was much smoother.  "Thank you.  Boys, go plant."  They left to do that.  Radek watched, looking happy.  He went to check on Botany.  Some of those he had never seen before.  The garden in the Tardis was like a jungle at the moment thanks to Xander's tending.  And another tentacle plant.  He pointed.  "We had that for dinner one night," he told them.  They botanists scanned it and the AI in there was bouncing happily for the new samples to be logged in.  He helped them plant the new things that didn't have pots already.

"These are hybrid tomatoes," one of them said, putting it aside.

"Yes, they were developed for Atlantis.  Super producing, very tasty, very high in vitamins," Radek agreed.  "Kept us healthy for years.  Will go into garden if you would."

She glared at him.  "We have supply runs."

"We are also on earth, will have invasions of petty people, will have governments who hate us, will have terrorists attacking sometime.  Will have more apocalypses like the one in LA probably and more like we handle with the other city.  If we have supplies, is better for us.  Plus fresh food is always welcome."  She huffed off.  He looked at the head of botany.  "General has found another think tank that has more scientists, many who are just geeks and strange that way."

She smirked.  "I look forward to working with some of them.  Will they be good?"

"They will know from the start."  He heard a splash over the intercom and huffed, going to see who had been thrown off.  He looked at his mate, who was staring at her.  "Did you toss her?"

"No.  I didn't."  He looked at Evan, who smirked at them.  "He did."  He went to get the tomato plant and others.  The botanists and the AI for botany came with him to help.  Someone else could fish the spoiled one out.

Evan got one of the guards to go retrieve her.  He looked at Radek.  "She sneered that we're all stupid if we don't have a PhD."

"Hmm.  Is not a welcome attitude here.   I will send her to Rodney to annoy him."  He went to process that change.  She could be sent over that night.  Since Xander was helping so much in Botany until the other scientists got there and he needed to translate.  Or to translate things for him and Rodney.

***

Rodney followed General O'Neill into the conference room, shutting the door behind himself.

"Good morning," Jack said.

"General O'Neill," the dark haired man with the beard and mustache said.  "I'm told you have a proposition for some of our people."  He shook his hand.  "I'm Doctor Nathan Stark.  This is Doctor Allison Blake.  I'm the former head of Global Dynamics.  She's the current head.  What can your project give our people?"

Jack looked at the other general.  "Did you tell them anything, Mansfield?"

"I've briefed them a bit, but not fully.  Your project gave me a headache, O'Neill."

"Let me," Rodney huffed.  "Doctor Rodney McKay."

"I've been watching some of your energy research, Doctor McKay," Doctor Blake said with a smile, shaking his hand.  "I was going to try to recruit you."

"I'm on a very good place right now dealing with futuristic weapons, machines, and beings."  He put down the image projector.  "Atlantis, would you please project the full recruiting film Radek and I made?" he asked it.

"Of course," she replied without showing up and a screen popped up with it all.  The two scientists and the general sat and watched in awe.  At the end she appeared, smiling at them.  Jack looked at her outfit so she looked then changed it.  "Sorry, we're having a free day today."  She smiled at the newcomers.  "My parental figure met you," she told the other general, bowing slightly to him.  She looked at the other two.  "Are you two of our new scientists?"

"These two run Global Dynamics, which is a Defense Department scientist think tank," Rodney told her.  "They're hoarding some of our best and brightest."

"Hmm.  Will they be better than some of our own who don't like Xander because he learned things outside a classroom?" she asked.

"We're not like that," Allison told her.  "Most of us aren't."

"Most of ours have been and we do adore Xander.  He was my parental figure's first friend in many centuries plus he helped me come out more.  He can talk to us in our native language."  Jack gave her a pointed look.  "He is also a wonderful botanist."

"He's our geek-to-military liaison," Jack told them.  "He's the sort to find a job that needs done and to do it without telling anyone."

"We have Fargo for that," Allison told him with a smile.  "Plus a totally normal town sheriff for the bouts of common sense we need now and then."

"Xander can be that voice of common sense.  He can also be the voice of 'because I said so' when some of our people slack," Jack admitted.  "And if they're really idiots in disguise, well, he's thrown a few off the cities."

Rodney snickered.  "That one botanist Radek sent me did get thrown off but not by Xander.  Evan got her for her sneering ways."  He looked at them.  "The docks on Nila have these labs," he said, handing over the information he carried.  "We have botany mostly covered but we would be agreeable to others taking some samples for study.  Frankly, Xander is the king of our strange specimens in there."

"How many are on the atoll?" Jack asked him.

"A great many in the garden but the twit from botany threw a lot of others onto the atoll.  With the rain we had right afterward, they've mostly self planted.  Including an air vine she stomped into the ground.  He can't move the remaining ones there but he's trying to foster new plants from them.  I'm not sure how much can be cultivated or not.  Fortunately we keep a sample of everything in a safe and Xander has most of them at home as well.  If not, definitely in Cardiff."

"Wonderful."  He looked at them.  "As you can see, we need good people with good attitudes, who learned to get along with others.  There's some risk.  I'm sure you've heard jealous remarks and that some people don't want the US to have them."

"Some fundamentalists have been gathering to tell us we shouldn't have it at all," Rodney added.  "We do have military units guarding the city.  They're run by Major Evan Lorne.  I included his bio.  He's worked with us for years so he's used to geek wrangling as the military puts it."

"Not even you were worse than Danny," Jack assured him.  "The guy got lost in a library for three fricken weeks once, and out of phase.  Just reading.  Didn't even realize it."  Rodney snickered.  "You nearly falling off a cliff while studying something, nothing on him.  I taught all of them how to geek wrangle in the field."

"Field?" Doctor Stark asked.

"That's a further classified project and would be recruited for at some later date," Jack told him simply.  "It's not hiring yet."

"That's because we sent back the ones who're unable to get along with others," Rodney said bluntly.

"Thankfully we didn't have to bring you back," Jack told him.

"I have no problems as long as no one's stupid around me."

"Boys," the other general complained.

"He's right," Jack told him.  "He's not on Nila though."  He looked at them.  "He's the head geek.  His minions get yelled at.  A lot.  He's in the more classified project but is our head geek for that one overall.  Radek was his second-in-command."

"We've made wonderful progress fixing what the Ancients left broken," Rodney told them.  "I won't swear it's totally safe.  Yesterday was apparently a lot of turbulence.  When we first landed her back on earth, we had to spend three weeks rewiring all the power conduits because they had used thinner, weaker wires since she was supposed to be temporary.  We learn a lot going back to fix the broken things."

"We've been through all the labs so they're as safe as we can make them," Jack said.  "Most of them are still ancient.  Some have exploded in the more classified project.  We had one that got two men pregnant.  Does he have those spores?" he asked Rodney.

"Two different varieties of the same species, under glass, in Cardiff.  Owen and Ianto are in charge of those.  That way if they're sprayed, they can handle it with their significant others," Rodney reported.  "Owen gets to study them with Doctor Banaca.  She's working on how to mass market it to fund all of us better."

"If she could, I'm sure the Pentagon would adore it," Jack agreed dryly.

Allison coughed.  "Spores?"

"Atlantis, if you would.  Just the clinical report please," Rodney said.  "I doubt they need to see any film that may have been taken."  She put up the clinical reports and they moaned at it.  "Having been under it by accident once and by malicious threat a second time," Rodney said dryly.  "It is very fun while you're in that state.  Later....  Well, I was horribly sore and we all agreed that what happened while spored stayed while spored."

"I can see why," Nathan said.  "Can I get a sample of that?"

"I can talk to the people at Torchwood who are looking over that garden," Jack assured him.  "It's not classified."

"Thank you.  I know some people who would give up a major organ to study something like that."

Rodney coughed.  "Atlantis, the air vine sheet please?"  She put that up.  Allison moaned.  "It has come in *very* handy.  It can be grafted onto other plants as well," he assured them with a smile.  "Usually it will give them their root structure.  We tried it with a watermelon plant since we had one brought up by someone.  It did reproduce rapidly when the roots were exposed and cut off."

"Those were good watermelons," Jack agreed.  "Did you ever figure out how to kill that plant?"

"Keep the roots on and it won't start to reproduce itself.  That's how those that use the original plant in wedding crowns do so.  Even one leaf being released can start growth."

"I'm definitely going to bring some botanists, even if you have no room for them.  We have a biosphere that would love to do that sort of work," Nathan told him.

Rodney waved a hand.  "That'd be acceptable as long as the General said so.  We truly need engineers and scientists to start the information farming process.  As you can tell, we're nearly a century or two ahead in most areas.  With our overseeing body, we couldn't publish some of this.  So we'll be teaching and learning at the same time."

Allison smiled and nodded.  "I've found that's often the best way to do things.  I know of at least twenty people off the top of my head who would kill to come work in the labs.  Especially in biochemistry.  Do you have need of geneticists?"

"We have a lot of those already," Jack told her.  "Some of these things depend on a special gene sequence to operate.  We can test whoever for it and offer the rest the artificial version.  It works in about forty percent of the people.  The rest ...."

"We do have a bypass being worked on.  Most of the labs on Nila will still work without the gene.   Those that don't, they have someone in there to help them."

"Those of us with it complain that we're like the light switch on the wall," Jack said dryly.   Nathan snickered at that.  "I've had many bouts of 'touch this and turn it on for me' demands."

"Yes, well, if it wasn't so strong in you, you wouldn't have that," Rodney said dryly.  "We wouldn't have had near as many issues if you had been normal."

"Good point.  God only knows who would've been sent instead of me at first."  He looked at them.  "We've been running now for over ten years.  This is our more open branch but our project has protected humanity now for years.  We're not evil, not wanting to take over the world, nothing like that.  We treat our geeks very well.  Nila's getting better accommodations soon.  The preliminary ones are tiny and everyone has complained.  That's the last thing being built.  Our medical center will be next-to-last because we can send people to other hospitals easy enough right now."

"We have a full support staff," Rodney assured them.  "Cafeteria, coffee makers, all that."

Nathan and Allison gave each other a look.  "What's the downside?" Nathan asked.

"The fact that others don't really want us to know these things," Rodney told them.  "Which of course is much too late.  They don't know of this and won't for a bit.  If we told them bluntly what we had, they'd ...freak out to use a Xanderism."

"All the backlash we've had so far would at least triple if they knew everything," Jack agreed.  "The fundamentalists would be even worse to deal with.  I don't foresee us being leaked that far.  Some, but not that far.  Even when we got leaked, it was mostly relayed back to Nila instead of the more classified things."

"Which was very smart work.  We noticed the coverup," Allison said with a smile.  "We had wondered."

"Nila can take off and get into space," Atlantis told her.  "As I can but I'm not looking for more family on my base."

"There's two?" Nathan asked.

"She's highly classified," Jack said, glaring at her then at Rodney.  "Why didn't you bring Nila?"

"She and the AI in Botany are helping Xander with the plants that got thrown and disorganized on the atoll.  Plus she's helping the construction crew."

"Fine.  Atlantis, they didn't know about you."

"They'll find out.  If they're as smart as Radek or Rodney then they'd figure out there was more than one city."  She smirked.  "Miko is ranting, let me see what is wrong, Rodney."  She disappeared then came back a minute later.  "Miko has found someone doing something truly stupid, as she put it, General Child Jack.  She needs someone higher than Child John because that one had him bitten by her poisonous snakes on purpose when she tried to take over the labs."

"Going," Jack said.  He texted something to someone as he walked out.  He got beamed there and went to the labs at a jog.  He could hear the screaming by the time he got off the elevator.  Of course, there were snakes all over the floor.  He grabbed a fire extinguisher and got to work on them for now.

Rodney looked at her.  "Which one am I going to beat?"

"Persins."

"Have her put in a cell.  I'll deal with her when I get back, then they can have her," Rodney said firmly.  "Is the colonel all right?"

"He's fine.  They had the antivenom and the healing wands."  She disappeared.

Rodney looked at them.  "It's never a dull day on our city.  Nila is much calmer."

Nila popped up, looking pissed.  "Rodney, she destroyed some of Xander's plants.  I want her beaten.  She may not destroy those things of his.  They're his!  They're important and I won't have it!"

"I have to beat Persins later, I'll get her too," he assured her calmly.  "Is Xander in a snit?"

"No!  But I'm upset for him!  She tried to get to his house too but Radek caught her trying and wanted to beat her but said he's not a violent man.  He let Evan have her."  She sniffed.  "I will not have that on my city."

"Of course you won't.  I'll handle her myself."  She beamed at him and patted him on the head.  "Nila, these are Doctors Allison Blake and Nathan Stark.  We're going to hopefully be getting some of their scientists."

She stared at them.  "If they treat my Xander like the others have I will have Rodney paddle them and scream at them.  I will not have that on my city and I will banish anyone into the sea who is impolite to me or my staff.  If you'll excuse me, I have to remind the boys to eat.  They haven't been eating and the Doctor said it was very important I remind them."  She disappeared.

"Mother henning artificial intelligences," the other general said with a grin.  "Did the Ancients program them that way?"

"They've adopted Xander.  Xander found Nila after she had been sunk for at least three millennia.  Atlantis could only give out some information but not appear that way until he started to talk to her and got her image projectors fixed.  Nila clung to Xander for a bit then slowly started to take in his friends as her new family.  So she's very protective of him but we see no problem with that since she was alone for all that time.  She's gotten much more calm and better at dealing with different personalities.  At first she loathed female scientists because one cheated on her husband on her deck."

"I know someone who would love to work with her.  He's a psychologist," Allison said.  "They may be able to help each other."

"Nila has five, well now four because she leant one, independent AI's interwoven into her.  Because of her long time alone, she managed to work them together.  There's an independent one in Botany.  Atlantis has her own as you saw.  I'm on her most of the time unless Radek needs help fixing things.  Earlier Botany was chewing people a new for being so childish yesterday."  He smirked.  "Someone taught Atlantis to swear in French about a year ago.  She's very prolific."  They all snickered at that.  Jack came back looking mussed.  "She's in a cell?"

"The AI put her in one as soon as I went to beat her ass."  He sat down.  "Sheppard will be fine.  The snakes are all dead.  Everyone's off their work tables and stools.  She's going to be regretting things for the next twenty years for attempted manslaughter."

"I did want the opportunity to yell," Rodney told him.

"You still can.  The MP's won't be able to move her for at least three hours.  They know you get to rant first.  Miko made sure of it, McKay."

"I'll thank her later."  He smiled at the other two.  "It is never dull, but it is not as dangerous as it first was.  There's not as many here who'd like to attack us."

"Before we moved the cities, we lived at threat level orange," Jack told them.  "We ran geek bootcamp, all that.  Nila's bootcamp are emergency procedures, this is how you follow an order if given one during an emergency, and these are your CO's, talk back at your own risk sort of lessons."

"The still classified parts are more exciting but more dangerous," their general told them.

"I know a great many who would give a kidney to get onto either city," Allison told him.  "Let us look over our people and meet with them, Doctor McKay.  They've all cleared background checks, have security ratings in place, and we'll see who would like to come."  He smiled and shook her hand.  "Hopefully you won't have to yell at ours, but I'm sure you've known the average scientist."

"Oh, yes.  As long as they're doing their work correctly and not slacking, I don't have to yell."  He smirked.  "The other sort I do have quite a bit of fun correcting."

"So do we," Nathan assured him, shaking his hand.  "Let us gather our people to talk to."  They left with their general.  They saw the flash of light and looked.  The other two were gone.  With the image projector.  "I want to work on that project," he said.

"That's part of the too classified project," their general told them.  "Which... is mind bending, I won't lie.  It's protecting us all but until someone puts them under us, we'll have to wait."  They nodded and headed to the airport so they could go home and talk to their geeks.  The general went to get a drink.  If only so he didn't have to think about those spores ever again.

***

Faith got blipped by Dawn to Sunnydale.  "Thanks, D."

"Welcome.  I wanted to come see Mom too."  She smirked at her, walking her off.  Faith got a few vampires on the way to the house.  Faith knocked and Joyce opened the door, pulling her in for a hug.  Dawn too.  "I even brought a long letter from Xander," she said proudly.  Her mother took it to put on the couch then hugged her again.  "It's okay, Mom.  Not like I'm in trouble."

"I want to meet this boyfriend, young lady," she told her daughter.  "Tomorrow."

"He's off blowing off stress tonight."  She smirked.  "But sometime soon.  Jack's nagging him.  He's a bit commitment phobic."

"Hmm.  We'll see if he's worthy of a Summers woman."  She hugged Faith again.  "It's wonderful to see you too, Faith.  How are things on the cities?"  She pulled them into the living room.  "Dawn, text your sister?"

"Sure."  She did that and put her phone back up.  Faith relaxed and told her how things were going.  About Ronon and Teyla too.  About how she had gotten to go up in a real X-302 the other day.  Buffy came skipping in and hugged her then Dawn.

Willow walked in and shut the door.  "Faith," she said.

"Red."  She went back to telling a story about the last food fight, cracking Buffy and Joyce up.  Dawn was snickering too.

It was good to relax again.  Being back in Sunnydale was almost like a gift since things had gotten straightened out for everyone.  Yeah, she could handle this new life, Faith decided.

Notes: Still before the epilogue in part 2.  Cheyenne still hasn't moved out there yet.  That will happen in arc 3.

6: New Geek Day

Xander looked at the people waiting on him.  "Before I begin, I'm going to apologize.  I do not usually do any public speaking.  This is not my area at all.  In fact, doing this scares the crap out of me but Radek was busy with a problem and the military guys said it's my job."  He started the slideshow he and Radek had created.  "All right, how many of you know why we're here?"  Everyone raised their hands.  He grinned.

"Thank you.  I am Xander Harris.  I am the geek-to-military liaison on Nila, the city we're here talking about, and her docking station.  For you guys, it's all about the docking station.  The city is for the project that holds us safe."  A few nodded at that.  He got into the slideshow.  Evan had added some music that he turned down.  "Sorry, Evan put on the music."

He pointed.  "This is Nila and her docking station."  He changed slides.  "This is a better view of the docking station from the atoll's side.  We have Nila parked right next to a small atoll.  Right now, I have a good garden I nagged the botanists into planting.  We also have some odd plants there that a huffy botanist threw when she wasn't feeling special enough."

One woman raised her hand.  "Strange?"

Xander smiled and got into the picture files on his computer, pulling up some.  "This is...."  He looked.  "Dark green so it's Pubert.  He's on the base but two of my plants mated to create him.  He's got his daddy's teeth."  He grinned.

"Um, sir, is that like a Venus Flytrap?" one guy in the back asked.

"Something like that.  His momma's a tentacle vine with suckers on them.  She's a maneater," he said with a smile.  "His daddy's got a bulb like him and he'll eat everything but graphite most of the time.  I've used him to sharpen pencils in the past when no one was conveniently offering him fingers.  He *really* likes fingers."  He flipped pictures.  "This is his older sibling Pugsley.  I have him and Wednesday on the city in Botany.  Their parents are planted in my garden.  They came from the same place the city was."

He flipped pictures.  "This is one we ran into on the original place."  He beamed.  "Notice the people standing next to it?"  They all stared, a few looking scared.  He turned that off and went back to the slide show.  "For reference, I'm the head linguist on Nila, plus I temp in Botany and sometimes help Radek in physics.  Nila was originally a prototype city.  The people who built her used her to figure out the building methods they wanted to use for a bigger city.  So far we've had to do some wire fixing when they weren't strong enough for the draw we use."  He smiled.

"Nila's now fixed very well and most of the labs that had problems are also permanently fixed.  Radek's using this time to finish repairing the temporary fixes that we found."  A few shuddered.  "There's no risk of sinking for the docking station.  The people who built it for us did a *very* good job."  He grinned.  He flipped back to the slideshow and found the slide he wanted.  "These are the labs we have.  Any of you who're geneticists, yours is going on top of the medical center that's being built last.  Nila had a few structural issues that had to be fixed first and they had to finish the docking station."

The same woman raised her hand.  "Why would geneticists need their own lab, Mr. Harris?"

"Because the people who built Nila coded some things to a certain genetic sequence that only one percent of humanity has."  Her mouth flopped open.  "They're finding a way around it for those who don't have it.  We do have work-arounds for most everything and those that we don't, there's someone in each lab that does have the sequence."  He smiled.  "I have it, a few others have it.  They'll be working on a better work-around and how to make it more applicable."

He shifted, looking at his new minions.  "It's not hard work but things are different than what you've been exposed to so far.  That's why so many of us had a sudden bout of publishing recently."  He grinned and flipped the slide.  "Our organization chart.  In charge of the whole thing is Colonel Cam Mitchel.  He's a nice guy, a great guy.  A bit sarcastic now and then but still pretty decent.  He's used to working with us geeks.  The military guys protecting the city and docking station are all from the same project he's from.

"On that side, the military is run by Major Evan Lorne.  They're basically there for our protection.  We've only had one group that thought they should have the city.  We've stopped a few groups that thought they should destroy the new information on the city but we don't have to worry about them.  On the docking station side, we have Doctor Radek Zelenka.  He's the head of science for us and the secondary head of science for the part of the project that covers us.  His technical boss shows up now and then when we need major fixing, like we did with the wires.  That would be Doctor Rodney McKay."  A few shuddered and he smiled.  "Rodney's still loud but we all work very well together."

One of the other women raised her hand.  "How much fixing needs done, Mr. Harris?"

"First, call me Xander.  I hear it yelled alllll day long whenever something goes on.  As for wiring problems in the labs?  We've got everything working but the city itself is about a century beyond where science is at this moment."  They all gave him an odd look.  He pulled something out of his pocket.  "Nila?"  Atlantis showed up.  "What's going on with Nila?  Um, this is a different AI that we sometimes see on Nila."

"Xander, the scientists in my labs are not being nice," she told him.  "They need you to come scare them."

"I can do that after this, dear."  He smiled.  "These are the new scientists working on Nila's labs."

She smiled at them and bowed.  "I hope you get as wonderfully frustrated and excited as mine do."

"I'm sure they will," he agreed.  "It'll be a few hours."

"Of course, Xander."  She disappeared.

Botany appeared.  "Xander, that mean botanist is back."

Xander called Radek's phone.  "Botany is here saying that wench is back?"  He listened to Radek swear and go fix that.  He grinned at her.  "Radek's going to look for her, Botany.  Guys, this is the other independent AI on the docking station.  This is Botany."  A few waved weakly.  She beamed and bowed.  "I think three of these are going to be yours."

"Wonderful!  I'm sure they'll have a lot of fun with the plants that got thrown onto the atoll."  She faded out.

Nila showed up with a huff.  "I want that wench gone, Xander."

"I know, Nila.  Radek's going for her."

"Good!  That Carter woman is not nice!"

"Oh, it's that wench.  Well, Radek can pretend to be Rodney and drive her off."  She beamed.  "Or bring her here.  She can help me talk to these nice scientists who're going to be on your docking station soon."

She squealed, clapped like a schoolgirl, and beamed at them.  "I'm very pleased to meet you."  She bowed and a few bowed back.  "I hope you all are going to have much fun in my labs."  She beamed at Xander.  "Do you think I should?"

"Make sure Radek agrees."  She nodded and disappearing.  "That was Nila.  She's the city's independent AI.  She was alone for a very long time," he told them, looking serious.  "She's getting used to new people but she's very friendly and she will show up on the docking station to talk if you want to.  I do have to tell you to be polite because she can throw you off the docking station and into the water.  She has had problems with female scientists in the past because her main designer and creator's wife cheated on her husband on her decks often."  That got a few nods.  "She's a very intelligent, caring, sentient AI.  I was one of the first to find her and we've talked all this time.  Anyone who disrespects her, she has my permission to throw off the city or docking station."  They all nodded at that.  He smiled.  "She's very friendly though."

"She's fully sentient?" one man asked.

"Yes.  Fully aware, passed the Turing test a few times.  Has an IQ of about 160."  The man gaped.  He smiled.  "The first one you saw has the same qualities.  Botany's been out a bit shorter amount of time.  She's still getting used to modern life and modern people.  She's also very nice and very concerned about her plants."  He grinned.  "Botany's a real sweetie.  She and Nila are very happy to hang out together.

"They were watching movies over the chemists' shoulders the other night during their movie night.  They had no idea why Rocky Horror was that way and asked a lot of questions to Radek the next morning that made him confused until *he* went to watch it so he knew.  Then I got to explain it to all three."  That got a few giggles.  "So, anyway," he said with another smile.  "Welcome to our wonderfully frustrating lab.  Anyone have any serious questions?"

One man raised his hand.  "A few of us are social scientists.  What do we have waiting on us?"

Xander started a video he had copied from Atlantis' memory.  "This is the last child born from the people who made Nila."  He let it run.  "She was wandering down the labs being cute."  He could tell the social scientists.  They were staring in awe.  He grinned at that man.  "There's a lot of those.  Their records are in another language that I've been working on translating.  All three of the AI's speak that language, and so do I, so we've been working on their English over the last few years."

"I heard about a paper on a language someone was calling Ancient," one woman said from the back.

"I did that one," he admitted.  "That was part of the major paper push before we let scientists outside the project onto the city.  That way people would know and be able to work up from there."  He smirked.  "We've got most of it translated.  Now and then we find a few new records and things like personal journals."

"Wow," that woman said.  "There's a lot of those?"

"Some personal journals, other things that we've seen.   There's a lot of tape of her because the first AI loved to watch her grow up."  He leaned on the lectern.  "The personal journals range from diaries to construction notes to technical notes.  I've gotten about eighty percent of the personal, non-technical notes done.  A few of my linguists are working on the more technical ones.  Some of those words are a bit different so they're going slower.  We're having to work with Rodney on those."  That got a few nods.

One man stood up.  "I noticed you're not a doctor."

"No, I learned languages in the field.  I learned botany the same way.  Technically I'm horrible at school-based learning.  I learn better by doing instead.  A few of them I got dropped in among them and had to learn or else I couldn't ask where the bathrooms were."  A few women giggled at that.  "I speak and read a lot of languages.  I read at least 30."  A few nodded at that.  "Speak most of them."  He grinned.  "That paper I had help from one of the top social scientists on the project to straighten it into academic language."

"The others?" he asked.  "Doctors mostly?"

"We have an international crew of doctors who work in every single lab.  Radek is Czech.  Rodney is Canadian.  The botanists I know really well are two Americans and one Russian.  Physics is Radek and three others, two Brits and one American.  I work in those labs most of the time.  The others I'm on casual status with and getting to know more.  Especially the days we have to geek wrangle.  Too many of our people get involved and forget to do things like eat, take breaks.... go to bed."  That got a few nods as well.  Apparently they knew that state.

He flipped the slides.  "This is the inside of engineering," he said.  "This machine," he said with a point.  "Is still being fixed so it works.  We have no idea what it does so far."  A few moaned.  "The one next to it is broken on purpose because it draws a lot of power to make little tiny seed crystals.  A lot of the tech runs on turning crystals, nav crystals, those sort of things.  Unfortunately it takes about a nuclear power plant hooked directly to it to make a day's output of new crystals that then have to grow and be turned into the new ones we might need."

One woman moaned.  He flipped a picture.  "Doctor McKay recently released a paper on this subject, a Zero Point Power Module."  She whimpered.  "This is what the one that is on the city, which runs the city, looks like."  He looked at her.  "Those of you in that field will get a chance to talk to him about those.  He'll see what we can do about getting people near them to look them over.  He's been working on this for a few years and nearly managed to make one.  Unfortunately the system went wrong and destroyed the lab and a lot of other real estate."

That woman shuddered.  "Exactly."  He smiled at the rest.  "We do everything we can to minimize anything that might go wrong.  Every month we do disaster drills, evacuation drills, all that.  Your first week on the docking station will be those actually.  I help run them with Evan.  I ran them before for everyone.  They used to be more like boot camp."  He grinned.  "We've loosened up some."  That got a few nods.  "Now, there are a few things.  Our medical facilities are presently airlifting people for about three more months.  If you have constant medical needs, like diabetes or seizures, you may want to come in the second wave.  We'd hate to have that happen but we don't want to have anyone unsafe working conditions."

"Why is it being built last?" the woman up front asked.

"Because we had to finish stabilizing Nila where the multiple construction techniques made problems.  Like the wiring issue we had.  We spent two days doing emergency wiring twenty-two hours at a time."  She shuddered.  "Otherwise she would've sank again.  Not the docking bay but the city itself.  The docking station got built first for the labs that were spread around in various countries.  That had to come first and the medical situation we could handle until we could get it built.  We have ways of getting people to medical care within minutes so that wasn't a priority."

"Are they starting on it?"

"It's roughed out but not more than framing walls."  Nila reappeared.  "She got thrown off?"

"She was captured and given to Evan so she could be beaten."  She smiled.  "Do I need more fixing?"

"I believe that your structures are sound and they're only fixing that one viewport window, and then they're going to concentrate on medical.  Why?"

"The President is looking over my insides saying it's very bare."

He rolled his eyes.  "He's an asshole," he told her, making her giggle.  "You can quote me that you're beautiful and the places that the bare structure shows are impressive and reason for engineers to want to stare and take notes."

"Thank you.  I'll tell him you said that."  She disappeared.

Xander smiled.  "Higher ups are sometimes idiots," he told them.  They all nodded at that.  "I don't play politics and I hate attention from the higher ups.  I tend to get mean when I get it."  He flipped slides, showing another video.  "Ah!  The tea celebration.  This is how they relaxed in the lanar, which I have rebuilt and repopulated with things."  He let them watch it.  The social scientists were engrossed.   The others were staring oddly.   "This is what they did when they were stressed and wanted relaxation.  Sometimes at home at night after work.  The lanars are social places.  Meant to sit, talk, relax, all that."

One man in the back raised his hands.  "Accommodations?"

"There are some.  They're tiny because they're meant to be temporary.  After the med center they swear that we're getting bigger quarters.  So about three, four months after that.  Until then we have small rooms that have full sized beds, an individual bathroom with a shower stall, toilet, sink, and towel bar.  A small wardrobe."  He grinned.  "It's getting better.  There's sixty open rooms.  They swear up and down that the new ones will at least meet military standards for a single apartment."  That got a few laughs.

"The present ones are decent but tiny.  I won't lie about that.  The caf is great.  We get fresh food shipments every two weeks and the garden is very good.  We can get enough out of it to feed everyone for a week if we have to.  There'd be more room but that one huffy botanist that had to be captured earlier threw a bunch of dangerous samples on the atoll.   The garden takes up a third of it, the dangerous things a bit more.  The other three/fifths is used for the weekend parties, those things.  The construction guys have one every Friday night and we're invited out if we want to go.  They're fairly nice guys.  A few are a bit rough but mostly nice guys.  Radek makes hooch so it's always a loud party."

"Where was Nila before?" the man in the corner asked.

Xander smiled.  "Unfortunately that part of the project is still classified."

"We know Nila can fly," he said.

"Yes, she can.  You saw that during that problem in LA."

"That wasn't the same city.  That one was bigger."

Xander smiled.  "That's classified as well."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "So there is one that they built after her?"

"Still classified, dude.  Sorry.  For that, join the program instead of the labs on the docking bay."

"Fine."  He smiled.  "Publishing rights?"

He found that file and opened it.  "Oops, not that one.  That's Radek's rules for the blatantly stupid."  He found the right one and opened it to show them.  "We search it for classified information we don't think people are ready for yet.  Otherwise, you're going to be dealing with things that are literally years ahead of where current science is.  Some things people aren't ready to hear yet.  We're working on moving people toward that.  That's part of what you're here for."  They all smiled, understanding that.  "Beyond that, you all have good clearances, good histories, all that stuff that got you invited."  He leaned on the lectern again, looking over at a twinkling.  "Hey, Armand.  Tired of playing with Harry?"  Armand roared and pounced him, getting cuddled and petted back.  "This is my baby."

"What is it?" one woman asked, getting up to come closer.

"This is Armand.  I call him my baby dragon."  He grinned, letting Armand stare at her.  "Introduce yourself.  He's very smart.  He knows good people from bad people.  He has his favorites that he begs too.  Exobiology has seen him a number of times.  They all love him and some botanists love him because he craps on plants that they want to grow."  He looked at what he had and let him eat a pencil, getting a look.  "You're not going to have the tummy troubles soon so you can have some wood now.  It's a special treat."  He grinned at her.  "He can eat nearly anything but sometimes when he eats wood it'll upset his stomach."

"Oh, my."  She petted him.  "I'm Doctor Sarth."  He snuffled her and let her pet him.  "You're adorable."

"You should see Mira.  Her daddy is Doctor McKay."  He grinned.  "She's got wings and a bit of deer-like fur."

"Wonderful."  She beamed.  "We have x-rays and things?"

"Yup, they took full CT's and all that to see what he was."

"Excellent.  Hopefully I'll get to look them over."  She sat down again.  "Where is he from?"

Xander smiled.  "Someplace you'll probably never end up because I ended up there by accident."  She giggled.  "Seriously."  He petted him, letting him sniff the computer.  "I know that's Radek's.   Mine's broken again," he told the dragon.  "Any other questions?"  No one said anything.  "Then I look forward to geek wrangling you guys for a while."  He beamed and turned off the computer, putting it back in his bag.  "We'll see you soon."  Cam walked in.  "Ah!  Our beloved head, Cam."

"Thanks, Xander.  We're bringing them over tonight."

"Cool!"  He beamed at Armand then at Cam.  "I'll warn the caf if you haven't."

"I have.  They put out more coffee too.  By the way, that botanist?  Don't worry.  She's pouting in a closet until Sheppard comes to get her.  He's being held up yelling for the other AI."

"Even better.  Means I don't have to beat her ass for trying to destroy my plants."  He smirked at them.  "The city is much like a family.  We hope to adopt you guys too."  A few smiled at that.  "I'll see you guys later.  Let me and Armand head back now."  He walked out and got beamed to the main base.  "Yes, General?" he asked since they were waiting on him.

"You brought your pet?" he asked.

"No, Nila sent him to me a few minutes ago."

"Ah.  Anything go wrong?"

"One asked some classified questions and I told him that.  He realized it wasn't Nila at the invasion.  I told him to join the project if he wanted those answers."

"That's fine."  He petted the dragon on the head.  "You have a list of begs in your inbox."  Xander put Armand on his shoulder and got into it from his phone.  Teal'c, who was in the room, petted Armand for him.  Xander grinned at him for that.  "Most of those are base capable?"

"No.  Not hardly.  Unless we can get daisies for someone's birthday?"

"No," the general complained.  "But we're presently confined to base by Presidential order."

"I told Nila to tell him that the exposed beams were beautiful."

"She did.  He freaked out."

Xander snickered.  "Yay him?"  He shrugged.  "Politicians aren't my forte and I have no patience with them, General."  He looked at Teal'c, and Vala, then at him.  "He's going to try something NID-ish?"

"Possibly."

"I'll make sure they can hide."

"They can go to Atlantis."

Xander snorted.  "He knows it's there too, Landry.  Hell, Buffy could use a new shopping buddy and someone she can spar with."

Landry smirked.  "Even better suggestion.  They'd both fit in very well there."

Xander nodded.  "Let me blip off for this stuff.  I'll be right back."  He looked at Armand, then handed Teal'c his backpack before heading out.  He came back twenty minutes later with a few bags and to guards with guns.  "Put it down before I make you fuck it," he told one, who flinched and moved away from him.  "Okay, General, all those errands for my geeks and military boys are done with.  Let me head back."

"Freeze," one said.  "That is an alien being."

"No, Armand isn't."

"Yes, sir, he is."

Xander punched him.  "No, he's not."  He looked at the other two.  "I'm now Canadian and if you touch me I'm going to throw such a fit with higher weapons you'll wish for the sight of hell coming out to eat your ass," he told them.  "I don't play nicely and anyone who threatens my family gets it."  They backed off.  He saw the president behind them.  "Including you!"

"I heard about you, Mr. Harris."

Xander smirked.  "Does that mean I need to find hell week photos of you as well?"

"Please don't," he said with a wince.  "Though I was never that stupid."

"Pity."  He stared at him.  "Anything else you want to know?"

"These two are our enemies...." he started.

"No, they were our enemies and came to us to help us.  If you can't see the benefits of that, clearly you've never even played D&D."

"You don't salute?" he said snidely.

"I'm not military."  He smirked.  "I'm under contract and I only swear allegiance to the good of the world.  Not the leaders that fuck things up."  Landry moaned.  "By the way, I'm not the nice fairy."  He handed Teal'c the bags and Vala Armand, making her coo and pet him.  "Thank you."  He grabbed them and took them to Nila to drop things off, and then to Buffy.  "Here, guard them.  NID-like weenies want them.  Teal'c is a massive warrior, trained for over a century.  Vala is a shopping buddy," he said bluntly.   He went back to the mountain alone.  "There."  He smiled.  "Now there's no conflict."

"Son, that could be seen as treason," the president said.

"I can open the hellmouth and let it eat everyone in this country," he countered.  The man flinched and backed away from him.  "I can do it from Mars.  Hell, I could've opened it from Pegasus.  So I don't really care about your petty politics, your irrational fears, or anything like it.  Because I've dated a Roman Emperor and he was more than you'll ever be."

"How?" he asked weakly.  Xander just smirked.  "Oh, time travel?"

"Unwilling time travel."

"Xander has always been very good about keeping the timeline intact, sir," Landry said, shooting him a glare.  "Calm down."

"Let him leave me alone," Xander shot back.  "And Teal'c and Vala and all our other people."  He shrugged.  "You aren't going to learn anything new from them since I'm sure we debriefed them horribly when they showed up."

"They were," Landry agreed.  "You've also added to our knowledge of where the Ori started."  Xander nodded.  The president whimpered.  "He's traveled extensively, sir.  We like Xander for that and how he helps us, plus how he solves some problems.  He's never given us any problems outside of a few times when he lost his temper and went into a battle rage."

The president stared at him.  "That was you?"

"Yeah."  He nodded, sitting down casually.  The guns got pointed at him so he banished them to the armory.  The phone rang and Landry groaned.  "That's the armory master," he said dryly.  He looked at the president again.  "Any other questions?  I'm being polite today."

"You're an ass, Harris."

"Yeah, I'm often an ass when I'm threatened."  He stared at him.  "You find many combat veterans are an ass when they're threatened."  The president shuddered.  "I can always quit and move to Canada or Wales.  Work with Torchwood.  Or hell, set up a research network."

"You were born American," he said, sneering.

"Yes, and then the last president pissed me off so much that I switched.  Blackmail got heavy," he told the soldiers, who backed away another step.  "You're going to run into the bookcase, kid," he told one.

"I'm older than you, Mr. Harris."

"I'm over seventy centuries old, kid.  Shut up and have someone change your diaper."  He looked at the president again, who was pale.  "Anything else we have to discuss today?"  He pasted on his 'I'm listening' look.  "Because if not, I have a botanist who showed back up for some reason that I have to beat the hell out of.  I have to make sure the new geeks coming get put into the adaptation classes that they need for working on Nila's labs.  Then I have to spoil my family."

"Mr. Harris, you've threatened the President of the United States," he said bluntly. "You won't be going back to Nila or anywhere."

Xander snickered.  "Did you think I got beamed then?"  The president went pale.  "Maybe you should talk to your predecessor, sir.  There were a few times he got to have the talk he wanted over the phone in person."  The man shuddered and backed away, tripping over a chair.  He looked at Landry.  "Did we actually vote him into office?"

"The Supreme Court said he won."

"Oh.  Pity."

"The VP is worse," he said quietly.

"Extra pity."  He stared at him.  "You hindering us doing our job means that we lose when the Ori show up, Mr. President.  Did you want to bow down to a fanatical religion that thinks it's okay to burn whole cities that won't convert?"  The man shook his head.  "Then perhaps we should check for an infection.  Or an infestation."  The man's eyes lit up and he rushed Xander.  Xander kicked him back and then knocked him out.

He looked at the soldiers.  Their eyes lit and they tried to move.  "Do not fuck with Tias Diamalan."  They backed away looking scared.  "I'm not the being to fuck with."  The gou'ald on the ground whimpered, staring at him.  He stared back.  "Yeah, I dated SiSi.  Yay me.  He was better in that incarnation.  I still kicked his ass when he showed back up.  So, let me guess, Trust agents?"  They all moaned.  "Landry?"

"Let me get the doctors down here to remove those.  Hold them only, Harris."  He made that call.

Xander stared at them.  "So what was the big idea since the major Gou'ald Empires are now dust?"

"We can claim this planet and make our own," the president said, standing up.  "Ones such as you cannot stop us.  The traitor and the alien wench will be useful."

"You know, I could be mean and put an Ori priest among you guys."  They all glared.  "That way you take out each other.  Saves me work after all."   The medical team rushed in.  "They're not real old," he told them.  "Or real bright."  The doctor glared at him.  He stared back.  "I don't care what sort of asshole he is and what position he holds.  I didn't vote for the man.  No one I know voted for him."

"Enough," Landry ordered.  "Get them free asap."  The medical team walked them off with the guards.  "Harris, he is our leader."

"No, he's your leader.  I'm Canadian and if the PM up there is snaked, I'd be the same way."

"You knew when?" he demanded.

"When he was staring at Vala like she was tasty.  I recognized the look very well."  He settled into his seat.  "Armand is safely grunting at Radek since he was eating."

"Thank you.  I did warn Sheppard and McKay that he wasn't happy about things."

"Sir, to be honest, I don't care who's not happy about anything except those in my family.  The higher ups just make me want to puke or retaliate most of the time."

"Have we talked about anger management for you yet?" Landry asked sarcastically.

Xander smirked.  "Make them leave me alone.  Then the problem's solved."

"Can you really open the hellmouth?"

"Yup."

"All the way from up there?"

"Definitely."  The man swallowed.  Xander smirked.  "Aren't you glad I'm not the evil me?"

"Yes, I am," he decided.  "Hopefully we never see the evil you."

"Well, there is that alternate universe where I was turned," he offered dryly, making the general shudder.  "But I'm told I got staked."

"Thank you for letting me know that."

Xander smirked.  "Though that's probably not the only alternate me out there.  Who knows what sort of alternate mes there are."  He grinned as the President stomped back in.  "No, he's safe," he told Landry when he stiffened.  "No snakiness about him now."

"Harris," the president said, staring at him.  "You came damn close to insubordination."

"Still not military."

"Whatever.  You could be tossed in jail for that."

"Then I have a home world I can go live on," he said dryly.  "As I proved before."  The man shuddered.  "Thankfully, sir, I'm not American so I'm not your problem."

"Good point.  Why?"

"The last idiot in your job tried to blackmail me into his camp idol."  He smirked.  "He wanted me to take press attention and get notoriety and do press conferences to make him look good.  I hate press attention, I hate medals, I hate all that.  He couldn't see that though.  Even after I got rid of that one senator using his mistress."

The president squeaked.  "That was you!"

Xander nodded.  "Were they leftover Trust snakes or other snakes, sir?"

"Trust.  How did you know?"

Xander stood up.  "That was me too."  The president flinched.  Xander stared.  "I'm a problem solver.  Right now, my problems are my geeks on Nila.  Any other problems I have to solve I'll consider and deal with as I see best for the world at large.  I have a slightly higher calling thanks to my service in Sunnydale."

"I can see that," he said, calming himself down.  "You scared the crap out of that snake."

Xander nodded.  "You should see the Priors."  He shrugged then grinned.  "They started it though."

"That's fine.  I won't be starting it or anything else, Harris."

"Thank you, sir."  He beamed.  "I like that idea."

"Were your parents in service?"

"No, my parents only serve the bottle."

"Oh," he said flatly.  "So you're .... why did you jump in?"

"Friends got taken and eaten."  The two guards came back in.  He shrugged and grinned at them.  "Feel better, guys?"

"Much, sir," one said.  "Mr. President, are you all right?"

"Yes, now that I'm rational I'm much better."  He looked at Harris.  "You knew."

"I recognized the look you gave Vala.  I've seen it on a few ex's in the past."

"Oh," he said with another shudder.  "A Roman emperor?"

"Yeah."  The man stared at him oddly.  "I ended up back then and he thought I was pretty."  He shrugged.  "Not the first on that trip I took."

The president moaned, shaking his head.  "I don't want to know."

"Frankly, sir, you don't need to know.  So therefore you won't."

"Even better," he said.  "Go back to Nila and rescue them from wherever you put them."

"Buffy needed some encouragement.  She's feeling old."  The president gave him an odd look.  "She got called at fifteen."

"Ooh," one guard winced.  "The tiny blonde girl at the invasion?"  Xander nodded.  "Poor woman."  He shook his head.  Xander nodded and disappeared with a wave at Landry.  "Sir, is he dangerous?"

"Only if you piss him off," Landry assured him.  "Sir, we do need to find out what the snakes knew and might have passed on."

"Of course."  He sat down and let Landry debrief him.  "Do you like O'Neill?"

"Yes, sir.  Jack used to run SG-1 under Hammond."  The man shuddered.  "I take it you saw those files?" he asked dryly, smiling some.

"Definitely."

"He saved this world a lot of times, sir.  We like him for that much even when I can't stand his sense of humor or the Simpsons."

"That's fine.  Then I'll leave him where he is.  What are you going to do about this semi-leak of classified materials you had?"

"Sir, they didn't leave Xander alone either and that's how that leak happened.  Members of the Watchers Council went looking and found it then leaked it from their person on the IOA board."  The president nodded.  "We don't like the Council at all for the way they treat their warriors.  We hate them for how they treat the girls actually."

"Two?" he asked.

"Yes, sir.  Two.  The other is on Atlantis."

"Oh, I see.  Good."  He nodded.  "Probably helpful from what I learned about the wraith.  I heard Summers had a sister?"

"She's with Torchwood."

"Even better.  I heard they're gay."

"Yes, so is Xander."

He nodded.  "Does that cause your people problems?"

"Sir, when you've met alien cultures, you're not going to be homophobic and we don't allow people like that on our project because they cause problems on diplomatic missions," he said bluntly.  "Frankly, since we're an international project, DADT regs only apply to a quarter of our staff.   Most of my colonels won't take a complaint even if someone makes one and the one that will is uptight and by the book, but gets the job done most of the time."

The president considered it.  "You think this project should be exempt?"

"Yes, sir.  We've seen cultures that are nudists, that age their whole lives within a day, that have polyamorous and polygamous marriages, that don't have a formal marriage, that accept gay and lesbians.  We have staff from many countries that don't care as long as it's not a child.  Frankly, I don't care as long as it's not a child.  Xander is dating one of the scientists from another country and he's not covered because he's not military, now is Canadian, and could care less."

"I hadn't thought about the multi-national nature of your project, General Landry.  How do you handle it when they have problems?"

"A few have more problems with their egos than anything.  Most of them don't get huffy.  If we have a problem scientist we often deal with them and then send them home after making sure they can't bring classified information.  That's how most of the science leaks of alien tech happen.  They might not be able to bring anything home but we can't block memories."

"I see."  He considered it.  "Would you think that outing the project is going to be better?"

"Someday soon.  Right now, we're getting other scientists used to the idea of higher levels than they knew before.  Within a year we can open that can of worms farther."

"Huh.  I'll think about that."  He shifted in his seat.  "What about funding?  This is a very expensive program."

"Actually, sir, we halfway fund ourselves at the moment.  Now, building new ships is expensive but that comes out of the military budget.  So do most of our expenses since we are technically a military project."

"Good point."  He thought.  "UNIT wouldn't take over?"

"No, sir, we work well with UNIT.  O'Neill and Harris made sure of it.  They both have contacts over there so when something happens we can merge and work alongside them.  The same as Harris has contacts at Torchwood if we need to work beside them."

"Do other countries have their own versions?" one of the guards asked.

"I think Spain is trying," Landry told him.  "They can't get anyone to agree on anything.  The French as well.  Russia actually had a gate at one point in time, but that was relatively soon after the Wall fell so they're mired at the moment.  Britain would like to form their own group that wasn't Torchwood, more military based.  They can't seem to get things together at the moment either."

"So we'd need to share information with them," the president said.  Landry nodded.  "Would we share science and tech plans?"

"We'd share ship plans," he offered.  "Science is being leaked out at an acceptable, spoon-fed rate so people realize that there's higher out there and we've been hoarding it.  Actually, one botany finding being released could fund us forever."  He accessed the files and let him see them.  "That happened on Atlantis.  Twice thanks to the last president."

He read it over, snickering.  "They were overcome?"

"For four days, sir."

"Do we have any plants left?"

"Yes, sir, seventeen baby plants in stasis here and another two at Harris' greenhouse in Wales."

"He has a greenhouse in Wales?"

"Miss Summers' sister watches over it for him."

"Ah."  He nodded once at that.  "Selling that plant would help the drug makers."

"According to the plant's files, the leaves make an acceptable pain killer if brewed down far enough.  Too far and it's addictive but it would be about aleeve strength.  The roots are edible certain times of the year, and the spores... well, they're meant to make people breed."

"So, possibly a fertility treatment, or another version of viagra," he decided.  Landry nodded.  "Huh.  I'll think about that."

"We have some other hybrid vegetables that we were going to release as well.  They kept Atlantis fed for years, sir."

"Even better.  They might like that."  He stood up.

"Debriefing, sir."

"Oh, that's right."  He sat down again and let Landry ask more pressing questions.  They really had to finish the mop-up on that situation.  The president would assign some people to help them since the military couldn't really arrest people.

***

Xander showed back up, staring at everyone.  "Okay, the president doesn't like me and decided leaving me alone is great," he told Cam, who groaned and shook his head.  "Teal'c was *real* stiff next to him by the way."  Cam stared at him, one eye twitching.  "Fixed."  Cam relaxed.  "Buffy has Teal'c and Vala."  Cam went to call her to make sure she knew she had to give them back.  He went to check on things, finding Evan running the first few drill lessons.  "Did we get rooms assigned and all that?" he asked him.

"We did," he agreed, smiling and handing over Armand.  "He's making new begging slaves."

He looked at his dragon.  "Keep it up and you can't go tease Ianto with petting you this weekend."  He walked off.  "I'm going to my office."

Evan smiled at the scientists.  "We're fairly informal around here."  They snickered.   He got back to showing them how to do what in case of natural disasters like really bad storms.  At least he didn't have to teach this group of geeks how to shoot.  He'd calm Xander down later.

***

Cam came back from the main base's meeting, glaring at Xander.  "You mouthed off how much?"

"In proportion to the crap he was spouting."  He stuffed his mouth.  "The same as I did the last one."  He ate another bite.  "Why?" he asked once he swallowed since he was still being glared at.

"The man hates you."

"Good!  Then he won't try to use my ass."

"Good point," Cam admitted, seeing it from that side.  "Unlike the last guy."  Xander nodded.  "Fine.  Write an apology letter for being such an ass.  Landry said so."  Xander muttered but nodded.  "Thank you.  We made sure Buffy gave them back already.  She pouted but wanted Teal'c and Vala to come back someday soon."  He sat down across from the group.  "You scared the hell out of him," he said quietly.

"Good.  Me looking weak means he might try something again."

"Good point," he sighed.  "I had forgotten about that too.  Most of the time I look at you like you're normal."

"I am normal," he said, scowling a little bit.

"Most of the time," Cam said.  "Sometimes you're exceptional.  That's when you get scary."  He stared him down.  "Back down from the Tias Diamalan point, Xander."  He nodded, slumping some.  "Thank you.  It was good work.  Landry agreed with that.  They even set out a timetable for getting us more in the open."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Now, how are your new geeks?"

"Complaining about the room sizes."

"We all do," Cam agreed.  "Speaking of, I'm bumming your massive tub at home later.  My back's kinked."

"I can do a mean massage."

"I might let you after I soak."  He smirked.  He looked back at the feeling of something climbing up him.  "Hi, Mira."  She nuzzled his ear and gave a petite roar.  "Where's your daddy?"  She nuzzled him again.

Radek's phone beeped.  "Waiting on reports due yesterday."  He refilled his tray and walked off to go to his office.  He'd calm Xander down later.

Evan sat down with a sigh of relief.  "They're all settled in, ready for Xander to geek wrangle in the morning."

"I'm going to be up all night with the new stuff that Atlantis found in her memory core."  He ate another bite and looked at him.  "You're pissed," he sighed.

"No.  Upset that the higher ups think that you're a toy again."

"The president now hates him and is a bit scared," Cam told him.

Evan smirked.  "Less chance of him being used then.  Good."

"He has to write an apology letter."

"I'll draft it later while I'm working.  We think it's technical specs for the engineers."  Xander finished up and got another glass of soda on his way back from dropping his tray off.  "Anything happen because of the cranky bitch earlier?"

"No, we caught her before she could do more than try to spike a tomato plant with lye," Evan assured him.

"Cool."  He smiled.  "I'll send over this one once I've got to decoded as much as I can.  Anything else I need to do tonight, Cam?"

"Just write that letter, Xander."

He nodded, going to his office/lab area to work on that.  His three linguists had a meeting room with a large table and a few blackboards.  He really had to get them their own work space.  Before someone needed the conference room.

***

Two days later, Xander grunted at whoever walked into his office.  "What?" he said from behind the pencil between his teeth.

"You haven't bathed or eaten in two days," Cam told him.  "Go eat.  Take a nap."

"Three more words."  He got back to it, groaning at what he was seeing.  "I hate technical words."  He wrote down what the root of the word was, what it meant, and what sort of ending it had.  He'd pass that up to Daniel to see if he could decode those words.  Cam hauled him up and walked him off, shoving him in the caf.  "Ooh, food."  He went to get some and sat down to inhale it, then yawned and wandered off to the portal to his house so he could sleep for a while.

Cam shook his head, gathering the papers up so he could send them to Jackson.  "I don't think he realized it had been days, even after I told him."

"I've seen him in that state before," he admitted, smiling as he took them.  He looked it over.  "Hmm, some technical words I don't know either."  He went to look them up in the other reports to see if anyone had decoded them.  If not, maybe Rodney could write a decoding algorithm.  He had in the past for another language.  The rest of the notes were very nice and clearly not what Rodney was hoping for since it looked like construction notes for Atlantis.  Nila appeared, reading over his shoulder.  "Nila, do you know what these words mean?" he asked, pointing at them.

She hummed, a bad habit she had picked up off Radek.  "That one is an element of metal."  She highlighted it for him.  "The next one is another type of metal so probably a metal blend."  He nodded, making notes on that.  She went over the rest of them with him.  She smiled.  "Did I help?"

"You helped a lot.  Thank you."  She beamed at him.  "Is there a problem?" he asked since she didn't disappear.

"I'm bored.  No one will come talk to me."

He nodded.  "Xander's probably asleep."  She nodded, smiling at that.  "Well, there are the new scientists to talk to."

"Are they allowed on me?"

"Not technically but you can go talk to them in their labs or anywhere else on the docking area."  She sniled and went to do that.  He smiled and finished those notes, sending them to Rodney to see if they helped him any.

***

Buffy paced around her living room, cellphone to her ear.  "Xander," she sighed when he answered.  "I need you to come check something out.  I think it's a you guys problem and my two replacement yous are acting all freaky and stuff."  She listened.  "No, some funky demons opened a really old temple out on the cliffs.  Then suddenly all the guys are acting all freaky.   Thank you!"  She hung up after he promised he'd get dressed and be over in a few minutes.  She didn't know how he was doing it but that was fine.  Xander appeared in a small flash of light.  "Magic?" she guessed.

"Yup."  He stretched up and then twisted some.  "Sorry, work induced nap."  He looked around.  "Just us?"

"Even Giles is acting freaky and Mom's asleep."

"Cool, let's go."  Dawn appeared, smiling happily.  "Not a good time, Dawn.  We're going to investigate something freaky."

"As opposed to the usual freaky?" she quipped.  "Hell, I'm trained for the field."  She checked her outfit, then Buffy's.  A change into sneakers and they left together.  "Xander, are the witches acting funny around you too?" she asked.

"Nope.  Though I don't hang with them really.  None have shown up at the house when I'm there.  I think Nycom threw a fit about the fussing and bitching some were doing."  He grinned.  "You're welcome to come over you know."

"I know but we've been uber busy.  Again."  She shook her head.  "I don't know why but it sucks badly.  I haven't even gotten to have sex recently."

Buffy looked at her.  "I never get that much even with a boyfriend around."

Xander smirked.  "No comment."  The girls groaned.  "How far out do the funny reactions go?"

"They usually happen if any guy walks by the music stores.  Definitely by the lingerie store and the whole college is full of males in drool mode over someone but I can't find out who.  It's like the other women don't really exist to them."

Xander looked at her.  "Why didn't your guys call it in?"

"Because they're out at the college drooling with them."

He and Dawn shared a look.  "We know what this is."  Dawn nodded.  "Call Sam Carter?"

"Gladly," she quipped, dialing as they hiked.  "Hi, Sam, Dawn.  No, major problem that can't wait.  No, not girl problem.  We're in Sunnydale and we have a whole lot of men acting really weird over a few women.  Yeah, like one of them," she said dryly.  She snapped her fingers and pointed.  "Xander?"

He looked at the two guys staring at them.  They were the SG guys that had replaced him.  "Hi, guys."

"She will not see you," one told him.   "She has told us this."

Xander stared at him.  "Guys, do you know that I dated one of them?  I'm going to visit my ex's friend for him."  They were so stunned by the pheromones that their minds weren't working so they nodded and left them alone.  He took the phone.  "Sam, Xander.  Yeah, it's them.  Clearly.  The two that got sent to replace me were gotten."  He listened.  "Cliffs.  Yeah, there.  Buffy's with us."  He hung up.  "So," he told Dawn.  "How's Owen?"

"Good.  Too busy for our own good but good.  For some reason the rift has been really busy."

Buffy nodded.  "So have we and it's the wrong time of the year."

"I'll take a magical reading, see if anything's going on," Xander promised them.  They both smiled at him.  He snapped his fingers, dialing someone.  "John, I need Faith in Sunnydale now, and no male escorts.  Because we've got queens."  He hung up.  Atlantis would send her to him directly.  The cliffs were about a mile off so they could make it there in time.  Faith got there before they could start the climb down one of the cliffs to the temple.  "Hey."

"John told me," she said, pulling back her hair.  "This is totally sucktastic since it's my night off."

Xander grinned.  "Buffy and Dawn have both said that their dimensional rifts are overactive again."

"Yay," she said flatly.  "We'll see if I can go help D with hers since Buffy's going to have you."

"I'm going to read both areas to see," he told her.  They got down the cliffs and found the temple easily enough.  Inside were three handmaidens taking care of a new queen.  She had to be new, they had graduated with her.  Xander looked at the girls, who backed him up.  He walked forward.

The queen looked up.  "Xander," she purred in her gou'ald voice.  "It has been a long time since any of us have seen you."

"Not really.  I shot SiSi a few months back," he said dryly.  He stared at her.  "This is totally going to suck but you're on a dimensional rift.  Do you know what sort of problems you can cause?"

She got up and walked down there.  "There are many things to learn from places such as these."  She ran a hand over his cheek.  "Why do you not worship me?"

He snorted.  "Because I like my boyfriends?"  She growled, glaring at him.  He smirked and punched her.  The handmaidens attacked but Buffy and Faith had them while Dawn guarded them and looked for other helpful things.  "Don't touch the jars," he ordered.  She attacked again and he dropped into fight mode.  He was a bit light headed from the smarmy feelings she was putting out but oh well.  He'd fought with worse.  The plague came to mind.

He heard a jar break and looked.  "Faith, watch the snake unless you want to end up like her."  She stomped on the thing's head and it died.  Xander kicked her back against the altar and she shrieked in anger, rushing forward again to claw him.  He sighed, grabbing her and twisting her neck until she was unconscious without breaking it.  He heard another jar break and looked.  Dawn had one thrown at her.  The snake was on her.  Then suddenly she glowed and the snake shrieked in pain and died.  "Huh," he said.  "Don't tell anyone about that."

"I'm not."  They helped get Buffy knock out the freak of nature.  Faith had gotten the other one down.  Then they all turned to look at the last handmaiden but she was shot by Sam Carter.  "Hey," she said with a happy smile.

Buffy looked at her.  "How do we keep this freakiness from going on?  Even my present boyfriend wanted her more than me."

"They put out pheromones," Sam said as she walked in, looking around.  "The queen?"  Xander pointed.  "Nicely knocked out.  Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome, Sam."

She looked at him.  "Why aren't you affected?"

"Not fully human, Sam," he reminded her dryly.  "Mermaid taint, time travel...."  She groaned, shaking her head.  "While you're here, I need to take a reading on the hellmouth.  Buffy said it's active for no reason."

She nodded.  "Okay."  She waved the team she had gathered.  "Pack the jars for the base.  Gather up things."  Doctor Lam came in to look at the gou'ald since they could free them.  "Carolyn?"

"They can be saved," she promised, standing up.

Xander pointed.  "Unless they bred true, she's incredibly old.  She looks just like the handmaiden to Athena that was visiting when I was dating SiSi."

"Okay, we'll keep her captive for now," Sam decided.  "Maybe she was in stasis."  She looked around with Dawn's help.  "How's Torchwood doing?" she asked as they looked.

"Annoyingly busy, like here."

"Xander...."

"Going there after I take that reading," he assured her.  "Then I'll come back and make a report."  He helped the doctor tie up and gather the beings.  He looked at Buffy then up, starting a gentle rainstorm outside.  "That should help wash away some of the pheromone stink in the air.  People might get a bit funky but that's all."  She smiled and nodded.

Dawn's cellphone rang.  "What's up?"  She listened.  "No, Gwen, I'm in Sunnydale helping with a major issue out here with Xander and my sister.  I can be back in about a half-hour unless it's an emergency.  Well, tell Jack that for me then."  The phone got handed over.  "We had a queen gou'ald here, Jack.  I'm helping them clean up since I popped back to bitch at my sister about how active we've been and to check on the hellmouth to see if it was over-reacting too."  She nodded.  "Half an hour.  I'll bring Xander with me since he's here.  Maybe Faith too if we need her."  She hung up, shaking her head.  "We haven't had a few hours of peace in weeks," she told Sam.

"Us either," Buffy sighed, looking at Faith.  "Wanna stay for a few days?"

"Definitely."  Buffy beamed and hugged her.  "Hey!  No mushy stuff!"  She got free of the slayer octopus, earning a tired laugh.  "C'mon.  Ladies, we're going on patrol."  They nodded.  Sam grinned at her.  "Be back soon."  They left, finding the stairway down that led to the small beach then it was a short hike to the other, more normal beach.  They ran into vampires on the way so it was about usual for Sunnydale.

Xander got them all back to the base and took Dawn back with him to the old high school.  He sighed when he saw the new building.  "Cute."

"Eww," Dawn complained.  He shook his head.  "They've got to have problems like yours did."

"Yeah, probably."  He walked closer and the hellmouth nearly leapt to reach him.  "Calm down," he complained, working on the closing spell.  It wasn't open though.  "One of the other realms is going critical mass," he sighed.  Dawn stared at him.  "This is bad.  Let's see if we can guard the rift."  They left together, going to the old Torchwood building, where the rift was.  He concentrated.  "Linked to the same spot."  He worked the closing spell and it helped some.  Then he did something, opening it for a second to relieve pressure then reclosing it.  It went almost mute.  They both sighed in relief.  They turned to find Jack glaring.  "There's a realm going critical mass."

"Where?"

"There," Dawn said with a point.  "I can feel it better here than I can in Sunnydale."

Xander nodded.  "Sunnydale's might explode.  It's leaking from it.  It's fully closed but that's going to cause a problem."

"How soon?" Jack demanded.

Xander shrugged.  "Without going there, I don't know why it's going critical mass.  If it's an explosion, could be within minutes.  If it's a magic explosion it could be slowly echoing in waves.  No clue yet."

"When can you know?" he asked.

"I need to get back to Sunnydale.  I'm still in tune with it.  Dawn can keep this one closed, Jack.  You might have to let it open slightly to relieve some pressure."  They shared a look.  "Use the vials.  They're a weavil weapon."  He left, leaving her there.

"He did get the retrovirus weavil killer done?" she asked.

"Few weeks ago."  They took new readings and went back to the new hub.  "Xander figured it out.  There's a realm on the other side of the Sunnydale rift that's going critical and pushing more energy all the other rifts' way.  He's not sure how long but Dawn can keep us mostly closed."

"There's how many other rifts?" Gwen asked, looking a bit pale.

"Eight known hellmouths, probably three more that the watchers didn't know about.   Rifts like ours are about ten total?" Dawn asked Jack.

"Nine."

"No, we have two here in town."

"Nine cities," Jack said.  "Let me call Martha and warn UNIT.  You guys figure out how to monitor the smaller rift in case of a surge."  They nodded, getting together to figure that out while Dawn called Sam Carter.  Jack gave her a look.  "Who?"

"Carter."

"Oh.  Good idea.  They'd handle the US ones."  He went to make that call in his office.  This was not a good thing.

***

Xander reappeared, looking around before linking into the hellmouth again.  He sensed the vampires around him and put up a shield, then delved a bit deeper to see if he could find the reason.  Yeah, there it was.  He sighed and released his searching, then turned to look at Spike and the two minions.  He dusted them with a cutting spell and looked at him.  "There's a realm going spastic thanks to a mega magical war."

"Figures," he snorted.  "Solve it?"

"No, I can't.  I can't get there.  It's locked off."  He called the phone the Doctor had.  "It's Xander.  I'm pre-reporting a major timeline and dimensional rift issue."  He listened to his complaint.  "Because one of the closed off realms is going to blow due to two god-like powered people having a fight.  Sunnydale's closed and leaking majorly.  The rifts in Cardiff are up too.  We're going to have it backlashing."  He listened to the instructions.  "I can't do that, Doc.  Because Sunnydale has people."  He hung up and looked around.  "Get Buffy.  Meet me in an hour somewhere.  Have her call to tell me where."  He disappeared, landing in front of the higher authority he had.  "Jack, we need help in Sunnydale."

Jack O'Neill flinched.  "That bad?"

Xander put up an image model of what he saw.  "This one has two Powers fighting.  They've already destroyed theirs in a flash of fire and energy.  It's working it's way toward us.  It will open Sunnydale in a way we can't close.  It'll also probably force some energy through the other hellmouths and rifts.  Cardiff has been too active and they have two."

Jack nodded at that.  "Okay.  What do we need?"

"I need Sunnydale cleared until we know but I can't figure out when it'll go.  It's not a standard progression.  It's working both ways and we know this isn't my area."

"Get McKay, have him figure it out."  Xander went to Atlantis to steal him from his lab, bringing him back.  Xander expanded what he was seeing, including how strong things were.  Rodney had been working on a way to monitor Sunnydale's radiation since some of that didn't get picked up on sensors.  He sat down to work on that.  Jack nodded at the eventual 'three days' answer he got later on.  He got up and put on clothes instead of pajamas, letting the boy take him to the base with him and McKay.  "Get the general up," he ordered when he appeared.  Walter phoned immediately.  "Where's Carter?"

"We had a queen renewing in Sunnydale," Xander said.  "They should be back here somewhere."

"Why?" Jack complained, looking at him.

He shrugged.  "No clue.  She was inhabiting someone I graduated with so the denial problem will happen for her at least."  General Landry showed up looking pissed off.  McKay showed him what they had figured out.  Carter groaned when she joined them.  This was not going to be pretty.

***

Xander appeared back in Sunnydale at dawn.  He saw the two tired, sore looking slayers.  "We have two and a half days to clear the town for something that could sink it within three days to a month."

Buffy stared at him.  "What?"

"That openness?  It's another realm.  Their Powers are battling."

"Shit," Faith said, staring at him.

"The early estimates Rodney worked up said three days from last night."  They nodded.  "Faith, appear in City Hall.  They still live on the Mayor's words."  She grimaced but nodded.  "You're getting help," he told them, smiling slightly.  "Jack was not happy to be gotten up.  Tell Giles to tell the bitches in England that the others are probably going to spew some too."  She nodded, calling him.  He looked at Faith again.  "I'll warn Angel's crew.  Be safe and I'll be here if you need me to.  I have to geek wrangle for an hour.  Rodney's on base."  He disappeared, going to tell Radek that since he was probably up.  Then he went to the coven's building.  He whistled loudly, getting a few irrate witches.  "Sofat is going to explode soon.  Within days."  A few whimpered.  "It's spewing through dimensional rifts, people.  We've got an all-hands."  They nodded and went to prepare to help.  He went to LA, running into Wesley and Fred.  "Bad news."

"Of course it is," Wesley said with a smile.  "What is it beyond that?"

"Sunnydale's being evac'd."

"That's more an apocalypse," he pointed out dryly.  "Why?"

Xander put up the diagram.  Fred would understand it.  She was brainy that way.  She whimpered.  "Earliest estimate is three days from last night.  Longest is a month."  They nodded.  "So fair warning."  Wesley reached for a phone and Xander went back to the base.  "I'm handling the hellmouth," Xander said when he ran into a fight about how to do things.  "Evacuate it citing radiation spikes."  They nodded and the generals got to work on that plan.  "Dawn has Cardiff.  Jack's probably called UNIT by now.  I warned LA's guardians that they were going to have problems.  I warned the coven so we'll be seeing some of them around the rifts."

"Good," Jack agreed.  "Get us a detailed map of Sunnydale, kid."  Xander turned to the computer to pull one up.  "Is there any chance it'll only minorly flash?  Just spit instead of explode?" he asked Rodney.

Rodney shook his head.  "Not that I can see."

"If the hellmouth opens, the kraken is coming out," Xander told him simply.  "It won't matter because we can't close it until that's back inside."  He handed over the map he had printed.  "Even if it'll only flash in the other areas that aren't as open, Sunnydale will have problems.  It's already got enough going on."

"Good point."  He bent to look at it.  "Where is it?"

"High school."  Jack glared at him.  "Right underneath the library."  He grinned.  "Where we used to meet."

"You guys were insane," Jack told him, bending over the map again.  "How far will the spew go if it does explode, McKay?"  He came over to figure that out.  They could plan how to evacuate people in an orderly fashion instead of in a panic.

***

Faith walked into City Hall and found the emergency button.  Wilkins had told her about it.  She pushed it and waited.  People came running, staring at her in awe.  "The hellmouth is going to open in a major, unstoppable way," she said calmly.  "Sometime between two days and a month from now."  That got a few nods.  "It may not be able to reclose this time."  That got a few whimpers.  "Xander said we're moving."

"Harris?" one demanded.  "We're trusting that fuck up?"

"Yo, X?" she called.  He appeared in a flash of light.  The people all stared and a few bowed.  Xander nodded with a grin.  "Anything new?"

"You're getting help evacuating.  They're making calls now because it'll spray past the limits."

"There's a shield to keep that inside the town," one told him.

"I need info on that," Xander ordered.  "Any energy sinks are all good but anything that could hype or draw more energy out to make it worse goes today."  Faith nodded at that.  "I'll be back later with my bosses."  He left.

Faith looked at them.  "Today, people.  We need everything and everyone out by tomorrow morning."  They nodded and went to order that.  Faith gathered Buffy from the coffee shop, taking her cup of breakfast to sip on the way to the demon club.  Willie's would be closed but the club was all hours.   They walked in and the demons screamed.  "Stop it!" she shouted.  They quieted.  "We have to evacuate the city.  You have two days.  Get everything and everyone out."

Buffy finished her coffee and tossed the cup out.  "We're not sure if it'll be safe to come back yet.  We won't know for probably at least a week."  The bartender nodded, making a call.  "So scoot and be safe.  LA's team got warned so they can handle any problems with the fleeing in terror."

One tiny demon walked over.  "What is going on, slayers?"

"Another realm is going to go off," Faith told him.  "Permanently destroyed."

He nodded.  "Then it is best."  He walked off.  He had to gather all his clan.

"Make sure every being in town hears, including the vampy-vamps," Buffy ordered.  "Down to the mice and kitties, people."  They nodded and left.  She looked at the bartender.  "Faith was at City Hall."  He nodded and moved on through his calling circle.  They went to tell her mother so they could get her out first.

***

Xander reappeared on Nila and weathered the cleaning beam she used on him.  "Sorry, Nila."  He went to find Cam.  "Guys, Rodney McKay needs geek support on energy flow issues asap.  He's on the general's phone number."  A few went to call him.  He looked at Cam.  "We need to be on alert.  One of the hellmouths is in Asia and might cause a small earthquake, which could produce some higher waves here."

He nodded.  "I'll get with Sheppard.  What's going on?"

"Sunnydale's going to explode."

Cam shuddered.  "Are they working on it?"

"O'Neill has it being evacuated.  I'm going to be there for when it goes so I can hopefully reclose it."

"Hopefully?" he asked, looking sick.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah."  He got breakfast and walked off to change clothes into something better to do major spells and fighting in.  He had a thought.  If that shield kept Sunnydale and hellmouth radiation inside, and they were spewed on, would it keep them?  He considered it and packed some emergency supplies in his pack.  Including a tent and a backpack he had shrank down, plus some food.  He petted Armand, getting a dragon scowl.

"I'm going to Sunnydale.  It's not dangerous, just energy.  I promise, Armand."  He petted him with a smile.  "I'll be back in a few days.  Take care of Evan and Radek for me."  He nuzzled him and left.   Armand tried to follow.  He took him with him and the dragon nearly went spastic so he brought him home.  "I told you so."  He let the dragon go bathe.

"Don't leave the water running," he called after him, going back there.  He called the base.  "Generals, I'm on site and the town is starting to evacuate."  He went to find his girls, finding them resting.  They'd make sure the evacuations went easier later.  He got the house packed and in a manageable form for Joyce, who pinched him on the cheek and took it to the U-Haul.

The girls got up to help later on and he went on patrol until they joined him.  The college was not evacuating.   Xander found one of the cops scowling at someone.  "It's going to hit the college too and with the old base underneath it, it'll collapse."  The officer moaned, making that call back to his boss.  They moved on and made sure others were leaving.  Xander got to compel his parents to leave.  They were fighting and he didn't really care if they lived or not but he wasn't going to let it take the time from helping the others out to beat the crap out of them.

Master Nycom appeared in a flash of light, looking around with a grimace.  "That really is a bad leak."

"I tried the reclosing last night and it's not open," Xander told him, shaking his hand.  "Ladies, this is one of my teachers, Master Nycom.  He's the teaching head of the order."  He nodded at them, smiling some.  "The other rifts?"

"Russia is in bad shape but it's in a city.  Anywhere with people will cause more problems."

"Asia's?" Buffy asked.  "Giles said there was one where they had a lot of earthquakes."

He considered that.  "I hadn't considered that implication."

"I told Nila's commander so they can compensate," he told him.

"Excellent idea, Xander."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Let me check on them."  He looked around.  "This town may be a total loss."  He disappeared.

Xander looked at his women.  "I told the coven too so the witches and others could be in close proximity to the other rifts."

"You're talking like Radek," Buffy pointed out with a smile as they walked on.

Xander grinned back.  "It must've transferred during all the fantastic sex I get," he quipped, making the girls laugh.  It was going to be a long few days.  Thankfully falling back into apocalypse mode was easy.

***

Xander watched as the hellmouth exploded in a light show that they could probably see from space.  He worked the closing but there wasn't any stopping the energy shooting out.  He drained some of the energy into two new blipping bracelets he had prepared.  When it weakened he tried to close it again.  He got it to a smaller nozzle but now the kraken was recovering from being blasted and tentacles were coming out.  Behind him, someone fired a RPG at it, blowing the tentacles up.

Xander glanced back.  "Thanks, John."  He worked on the closing again.  Smaller.  And again, making it even smaller.  Then they felt the earthquake.  They hung on but Xander felt the wrongness.  "Get ready to have us beamed out," he ordered calmly.  He sighed and tried something he had barely researched, closing the stupid thing by sucking ground into it.  He turned it into a void portal instead.  It stopped the earthquake but the suckage was going strong.  Xander ended the spell when the spewing finally stopped.  They were three miles closer to the hellmouth than they should be.  Xander panted, looking around.  "Shit," he said in awe.  Another earthquake but the hellmouth read as null and fully closed, no more leakage.

John touched his earpiece.  "Beam us out."  They got beamed out and Xander flopped down in a free chair to watch the satellite feed of the town.  Another earthquake.  Half the town fell.  He slumped, shaking his head.  John patted him on the back.  "You ended the problem permanently.  It was the only solution," he said quietly.

Ellis looked at them.  "What's going on with the other weak areas?"  They got put up on view screens.  They had been cleared around when they had found them thanks to Giles, Jack, and Martha.  One wasn't near anyone so it was only causing a few minor earthquakes.  He winced at the one in Pakistan.

"We warned Nila's people so they can compensate if it causes further problems," John assured him, getting a nod back.  Cleveland now had a bare area that had been a park.  The spewing energy had taken out all the living things within a mile radius.  Cardiff had opened fully but Dawn had closed it somehow without too much damage.  Just the building on top of the old hub falling in.  He glanced at Xander, who shook his head.  He'd be able to feel if Jack and Dawn weren't all right.  They relaxed when things stopped going and by the morning everything had spewing, leaking, and being a problem.   Those two and Ellis went to the main base to report in.  "It's done, general," John reported.

Landry looked up.  "I heard.  Thank you.  Harris, need a time out in the infirmary?"

"Nope.  I'm good.  Going to check on Dawn."  He disappeared, landing behind her and Owen, who were cuddling on top of her building.  "Everyone good?"

Owen jumped, looking at him.  "We're all fine.  She got them out of the hub before it went down."

"I closed it from the plaz," she assured him, giving him a hug.  "You smell like ozone."

"I ended up shutting Sunnydale permanently."

She nodded.  "I'll do a searching later to find the new one."  She grinned.  "Have a happy nap, Xander."

"Hopefully, if nothing too bad happened on the cities."  He nodded and left.  Landry was giving him a dirty look.  "Dawn's fine.  The old hub is gone though."

John patted him on the back.  "Good.  She with her dad?"

"Owen."

John grinned at that.  "A lot of people celebrate emergencies ending."

"I used to all the time," Xander agreed with a smile.  "Anya made sure of it."  John snickered, nodding.  They looked at the generals.  "The higher ups?"

"Scared of where will be next," he admitted.

"Dawn said she'd do a searching later to find out."

"Thank you.  Let me know when you do."  Xander nodded.  "Go rest, boys.  You did good."  Xander took John home then went to his own to crawl between his boys.  Landry called the president.  "Sir, it's done with.  Torchwood will figure out where the next open hellmouth is today sometime and let us know.   They're fine as well.  Harris checked on them."  He smiled.  "Probably celebrating the end of the emergency.  I would be."  He nodded.  "That's fine, sir.  We'll meet about Sunnydale with the two slayers later?  Excellent news, sir.  Thank you."

He hung up the red phone and used the normal one to call Buffy's cellphone.  "Miss Summers, General Landry.  Sunnydale is officially closed due to that incident that happened.  Your sister will tell us where the next one is later.  The president wants to meet later.  Thank you, Miss Summers.  Rest and calm down today.  We'll see you later tonight."  He hung up and relaxed as well.  Having Sunnydale officially closed was one less worry he had.  Now if they could close the one in LA he'd be a happier guy.  Though he was very thankful that it hadn't leaked through the gateway and the new hellmouth wasn't here.

7: A Very Xanderish Thing To Do

Jack walked into the hub by the emergency exit, staring at the backs of his people.  He set himself up in a good spot.  "Dawn?" he asked casually.

She turned, smiling at her father.  The smile fell a bit as she looked him over.  The outfit he was wearing clearly showed the problem.  "Huh.  I didn't know you were giving me a sibling."  She smiled happily, swinging her chair a bit.  "I'll gladly babysit and all that when you need time off.  I'm sure yours will be better behaved than Miss Hairpuller Cassandra."

"I had no intention of giving you a sibling," Jack said dryly.  "Did we perhaps have a problem?"

"No.  I haven't done anything magically in weeks."

"Are you sure?" he asked a bit too calmly.

"Yup.  Are you sure it's just not that the stepfather is super good?" she quipped back.

"Do you think we've had time to have relations if you haven't?" Ianto asked from his desk.

"Good point I guess."  She shrugged.  "I didn't do it."

"Figure out who did do it," Jack ordered.

She knew that look on his face.  He was going to kill someone in the most messy manner possible.  "Sure.  I might have to go herb shopping and I know you hate it when I do.  Or, hey, another option.  MASTER NYCOM!  HELP!"  The old mage appeared.  "My father thinks my magic slipped and I know it isn't my magic that slipped because I haven't had any surges in weeks," she babbled.

The old mage sighed.  "Sometimes I have to do what I learned from teaching Xander."  He covered her mouth, staring at her.  "Dawn, what seems to be the emergency?"  She pointed.  He looked at Jack.  "I did not know your people could do that."

"They can't," Jack said.

"Could this be like Xander's magic going odd if he doesn't get sex for weeks?" Owen asked.  He was freaking out mentally.  This was *really* bad.  He might have to deliver this spawn.  He hated babies.

Master Nycom walked over to where Jack was standing, laying a hand on the baby bulge.  He hummed as he read the signature.  "It was not your daughter."  He smiled.  "It was emotional," he said quietly.  "I have no idea if it can be undone."  He lowered his hand and smiled at Dawn.  "No, dear, this was not your screw up so relax.  The witches won't yell at you for this."

She sighed, smiling at him.   "I knew I didn't do it."

"Then how did he get stuffed up?" Ianto asked.

"You're really potent," Owen quipped with an evil smirk.  "I'm not delivering this one either!  Be damned if I want to hear mushy cooing over it either.  Babies drive your brains to mush."

"Not as much as some telepathic species do," Master Nycom quipped with a smile.  "I think that's something that is evolutionary to make sure people protect the innocent."  He looked at Dawn.  "It seems familiar to you."  He winked and left.

She stared at Jack.  "If it wasn't me, was it another magic user in town?  Because I think there's only one here.  Or only one I've felt things from."

He shook his head.  "He said it's emotional."

"Huh."  She got up and came over to lay a hand over the bulge, petting it gently.  She looked at him.  "Let me make a Xander-leap of logic here.  Was anyone recently wishing anything?"

Tosh shook her head quickly.  "No, not even a thought of wishing for children."  She looked at Gwen, who only shrugged.

"Gwen?" Ianto asked smoothly.

"Oh, bloody hell, woman, you made a damn wish!" Owen complained.

"I was alone!" she defended.  "I wanted everyone to be as content as I was then."  She huffed off.

"Owen, can you do blood tests on the rest of us?" Tosh asked.  "I don't want kids yet."

"Definitely with you on that," he agreed, going to get needles.  "Jack, want me to run yours to make sure you're all right?"

Jack shrugged, looking at his daughter.  "Can it be undone?"

"If you get the demon to rescind her wish, but that can kill them."

"I will kill them for this."  He walked off.  "How would we figure it out?"

"I can ask D'Hoffryn.  It'll take a summoning though, so definite herb shopping needed.  For today, why don't you go to putter in the greenhouses?" she asked hopefully.  "I need to weed.  That'll be calming."

"Fine."  He went to do that.  Owen took blood from the rest of them to run.

Dawn looked at Ianto.  "I have english at 2.  The herb shop doesn't open until noon so I'll go after class and set it up at home?" she suggested.  He nodded that was fine.  "Are you sure you're not a super stud?" she teased with an evil grin.

"Quite.  No time recently unfortunately."

"I hear you there," she sighed, giving him a hug.  "Well, maybe I'll have a sibling and I'll teach it how to be cool and pretty."

Owen came out of the lab.  "Tosh, bad news."  She moaned, shaking her head.  "Dawn, thankfully you're not."

Dawn looked at him.  "The Doctor said I couldn't until I quit having form fluxes."

"Good point.  Thank God."  He let her take some of his blood so he could run it.  Even though Jack was an alien, if they could make guys pregnant they wanted to make sure of it.

"You know, if he keeps it, that means Gwen has to go into the field more often," Dawn quipped.  "She'll get to do all that stuff that her boy hates."

"True," Ianto agreed.  "Well, I'm sure he'll be happy to know that."  He called him to let him know that his wife was a problem yet again.

Dawn and Tosh shared a mean smirk at that bit of problem making and went back to work.

"Thank you, God!" Owen yelled.

"Am I?" Ianto called.

"No."

"Then seconded," he said, getting back to Rhys's complaining about his wife.

***

Xander appeared when Jack yelled for him, staring at Jack oddly.  "It's not mine, right?"

"No," Jack said.  "It's a wish demon's."

"Ah."  He nodded, laying a hand on his stomach.  "Okay then.  Amalia!" he bellowed, summoning her.  The wish demon appeared with a squeak.  He smirked.  "Hi."

"Harris," she sneered.  "How dare you summon me!"  He pulled up power and she gaped, shaking her head.  "No!  You can't do that!  Buffy said you can't do that!"

"I'm not the same Xander I was then," he said dryly.  "Since then I've ...traveled.  Learned a lot from The Coven as well."  He flashed his mark, making her shudder and look away.  "You did that?"

She looked then shrugged.  "She wanted everyone to be as content as she was holding the baby."  She tried to move but he stuck her in place.  "Hey!"

"The last time I knew you were over those who plot, not the gentle, motherly thoughts," he said dryly.  "Vengeance for those whose plots went awry wasn't it?"

She blanched.  "I decided to temp," she offered.  Jack was glaring.  She was trapped with two immortals who were going to kill her.  She quickly summoned her boss to save her.  "Sire."

"D'Hoffryn."

"Harris?" he asked, giving him an odd look.  "You've changed."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Interesting.  Why call on me?"  Xander pointed at the obvious problem.  He tested it then his person.  "Whose plot was that?"

"The one wanted everyone she knew to be that happy and content."

D'Hoffryn shook his head.  "The quality of my staff has went down since the eighteen-hundreds," he complained to Xander.

Xander smiled.  "Can you fix it if Jack doesn't want the baby?"

He considered it, looking at him.  Jack nodded.  "Do you want the wish undone?"

"Yes.  Males aren't supposed to have babies and I doubt my mate wants one either."

Dawn appeared, hugging Xander and smiling at D'Hoffryn.  "The magic sensors out here went off."

"Key," D'Hoffryn said, nodding politely at her.  He looked at Jack.  "Your healing has taken hold of it.  I'd have to unravel things and it could cause problems."

"He's not the only one she did it to.  Tosh is too," she told Jack.

"I'm going to beat Gwen to death for this," Jack decided.

"Want a sword?" Xander asked with a smile.

"Maybe."  He glared at the minor demon then at the head demon.  "What can we do?"

"It would have to be something that could end your self healing talent for a few minutes but not kill you."

"Don't you dare call him," Jack ordered when Xander sighed and reached for his pocket.

"Doc would help."

"I don't want to hear about this later on," Jack shot back.

"Fine."  He pulled him closer, concentrating and creating a ball of liquid energy.  He hit Jack with it, knocking him out.  D'Hoffryn ended the spell and wisely disappeared with his demon to punish her.

"Have fun spanking her," Dawn called.  "Don't forget the rest she did it to."  She walked over to give her father's healing gift a boost, making him gasp and sit up.  "Hi, Dad."  She smiled.  He ran a hand over his stomach.  "He took the fetus with him," she said quietly.  He nodded, hugging her.  "Maybe I'll get one the normal way," she teased.  "Some year.  That way I have someone to tease and protect beyond my boyfriend."  She helped him up.  "Though, if you do knock up Ianto, can I plan the baby shower?"

He hugged her.  "Have Owen take those nasty thoughts out of your head, Dawn."  She laughed.  He looked at Xander.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  He ran a hand over his head, fixing something that wasn't quite fixed.  "He tried to suppress your immortality."  He finished fixing it and Jack glowed for a minute.  "There, all the blocks on you are gone."  He smirked.  Master Nycom appeared, giving him a pointed look.  Xander shared that spell's feel with him.

"Then I believe it's time for you to handle that problem, young one."  He disappeared again.

Xander nodded.  "I can do that."  He looked at Jack again.  "You're clear.  Make sure Tosh is."  He looked around then at Dawn.  "Summon a few imps?"  He pointed.  "And you have a pregnant spore plant."  He disappeared before his luck ran out and it spewed on him again.  Not that they weren't fun times but he had found a new cache of things to translate the other day.

Dawn summoned some imps that were compelled by the magic of the greenhouse to weed.  "That's a neat spell," Jack decided.  "Can they hurt things?"

"No.  If they try it'll cause them great pain.  Only one plant's been harmed."  She went to weed that one herself.  She also cut off the spore plant's blossoms so they could screw with them in the lab.  Owen had wanted to see what sort of application was needed to use them.  She teleported them both back to the office, presenting Owen with the flowers first.  "Spore plant," she said happily.  He smirked, taking them to experiment on.  "Step-dad, he's okay now."  Tosh sighed in relief.  "You'd still have to check."  She went to get Owen to do that.  Dawn skipped off to get her next dose of Ianto's special coffee, her only addiction outside of Owen.  He did taste good.  Especially the time she had combined them.

Jack shook his head quickly, looking at his boyfriend.  Who smiled.

"I'm free," Tosh called.  She came back.  "Those plants smell very nice."

"They're plants that spew spores.  The spores make you want to breed," Dawn quipped.  "They got released a few times on Xander's project."  She took two and put them in a sealing box, taking them to the city.  Botany came out to scan the box, beaming at her.  "I know you're not allowed to have the whole plant but I know someone wanted to experiment with the spores here too."

"Those stay in containment," the head botanist said firmly.  "I don't need infected again."

"Of course, but Owen's figuring out if we can make a gel or a viagra substitute from it," Dawn quipped with a grin.  "These were at the day of spewing stage."  She disappeared.

Botany finished cataloging them.  "The blooms are two days immature from expelling the spores, Doctor Walters."

"Thank God.  Let the other botanists know we have some to look over and the chemists please, Botany."  She finished with her current plant while they hurried in to look over the things.  They could do some amazing things for the world with them.  Plus fund the city.

***

Xander looked at the general.  "I had to hit Torchwood due to a wish demon incident."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because one of his people made a wish that everyone would get to experience what she did while she was holding her daughter."  General Landry went pale, shaking his head.  "As far as I know the demon only hit her friends.  We might test some of the usual people though."

"Go take bloodwork, Harris."

"I'm still infertile and I'm not the same Xander they knew.  It wouldn't hit me.  Daniel.... John....."

"Take the test anyway," he ordered.  Xander smirked but went to tell Doctor Lam.  She was going to throw a fit.  They'd handle it well enough if it did happen.  He hoped.

***

Jack got the message from Daniel about wish demons and had himself checked.  Just in case.  Things like that happened around him all too often thanks to Daniel.  Nope, nothing.  He passed on the warning to Martha Jones since she had worked with Torchwood a few times.  That might include her in the group.

***

Xander got a visit from Colonel Davis.  "Yup, what's up?" he said as he worked on something on the whiteboard.  He glanced back at the silence.  "I know, it's a huge ass mess, but there's no room for bookcases."

"Doctor Jackson's office used to have this same sort of mess," he said.  He sighed, looking at the younger man.  "Your contract is up again."

"Yay," Xander said flatly.  "Did we bring one?"

"Some of the clauses got an evil look from the higher ups."

Xander stared at him.  "They can't have my shit, I don't care if they don't like it."

"I'm not sure if that was the one or not."  He found a free seat and pulled it out.  Xander looked it over, grimacing.  "Yes, I see that they did want more control over your plants and anything else you find."

"Half of the stuff I have isn't from Pegasus.  Outside of Morticia and Gomez, and a few others in Botany."

"They want you to not work on anything until they get this hammered out."

"I'm translating.  We need this."

"We have other translators.  The city included as they pointed out."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "It would give you the time to work on your storage areas since one was trying to do some research that way."

"Did they find out I temporally traveled?"

"Yup, sorry, sir."

"Don't sir me, Colonel.  I'm a Xander."  He sighed.  "You get to tell Radek since his timed out the day before mine."

"I've already talked him.  His has very few clauses that are questioned.  Since he's mission critical they said he can stay."

"So in other words they really hate me sleeping with Radek?"

"A few might but I think they more worry about what you'll do."

Xander stared at him.  "If I actually wanted to destroy everyone, I could've done that years ago.  You can tell them that.  Let me finish this section and I'll go clean out my storage areas for a few weeks.  I know that I put all the books up already."

"Sir, where is your primary residence?"

Xander smirked.  "On another realm.  With the coven I'm part of."  He groaned.  "I have it mostly sealed but there's entries here on the city and a few on Atlantis.   My friends and made family can get there."

"That's good to know."

"You can remind him I'm not American anymore too."

"I think that's part of the problem."  He stood up, staring at him.  "Not that I don't understand and I totally agree with your reasons, but he's worried.  Especially since you said you weren't going to show up at apocalypses."

Xander snorted.  "Why would I want to save greedy asses like him?"

"I wouldn't.  Let me talk to him, sir.  You should probably clean those out today."

"Or yesterday," Xander said with a grin.  He winked and finished up the translation then grabbed his newest bracelets, taking them back by about a week to clean out all his storage areas and steal back the things that shouldn't be in others' hands.  Including a few things that Dawn had.  He came back to the right time and went to get the doorway that held all his other areas off Atlantis, which he had forgotten before, but it had been very safe there, bringing it back to the house too.  He had to sort through a lot of crap.  Jewelry, artwork, clothes, a few more chairs and a special bed that got put into a locking, sealed room.  His creation areas and storage areas from the future were enough to give him work for months.  He found Evan's painting supplies and put them in his bedroom so he could use them later.  He hadn't painted in a while.

***

Evan walked into his room and saw his easel.  He closed the door and walked through the portal to Xander's place.  "Why did you put my easel in my room?" he asked casually.

"Because some senator on the IOA board hates us being together, me not being American, and is worried I won't show up for apocalypses.  So until they quit trying to block the new contract, I've got time to sort through everything.  I found it in the room that held the future workshops.  I knew you hadn't painted recently."  He took a kiss and smiled.  "Not like I'm kicking you out, Evan."

"Good."  He took another kiss, going to set up his easel and get to work.  He had missed painting.  It was very calming and nicely stress relieving.

Dawn walked in from her portal, flopping down.  "Why did you take the screwdriver thingy?"

"Because it was a cutting tool and you were about to cut off your head," he said dryly.  "Help me sort jewelry into past, modern, and future."  She nodded, moving to help with that.   He had whole boxes of jewelry.  A few pretty jewelry boxes as well.

"Who made this one?"  She held up the box.

Xander looked.  "I did when I was bored one day."  He smiled and got back to it.  "Yes, you can bum it."  She smiled and put it beside her after making sure it was empty.  He heard the knock and went to answer the portal.  "Yes, Colonel Davis?"  He let him into the house.  "Problems?"

"This really isn't in Pegasus?"

"No.  It's really on another realm.  The coven is out of time and space totally."

"Oh, I see."  He looked at him.  "He said you can't have anything from Pegasus."

"I got Morticia and Gomez long before I made it to Atlantis," he said dryly.  "You can point out that I got it from an ex in the twenty-ninth century before I got back from my temporal travel."

"Oh, I see."  He nodded.  "Anything else that blatantly came from Pegasus?"

Xander considered it.  "A few plants in Botany.  I didn't plant any of them here.  A few in Cardiff but I collected those myself."

"Those spore plants," Dawn said.

"They're all over the universe," Xander told her.  "Not just there."  He looked at the Colonel with a smile.  "The stored stuff."

"I thought you had more."

Xander smirked and pointed at a shrunken box.  "Very handy."

"Very," he decided.  "He's against anyone having anything outside of the SGC."

"I'm not going to capitulate.  I got it before I went to the SGC.  They have no right to confiscate anything.  If they try, I get to put my skills to ruining him the same way I did the last president."  He grinned sweetly.

Davis shuddered.  "Understood.  I'll call and tell him that.  He thinks we should've confiscated things before you joined the SGC."

"They had no idea what I had then and if I have to, I'll take back all my stuff, including all the future weapons, before we came back."  He nodded and left to point that out.  Xander pointed.  "Guard it for me?"

"Gladly.  I don't usually get to play with jewels."

Xander smirked as he walked out to follow him.  "Sir, you're not supposed to be on the city," Davis said.

"I found Nila.  I can bring her to the coven's realm with me," he said dryly.  He smirked. "Phone."  It got handed over.  Xander walked off talking to him.  Then he tossed the phone back and teleported.  "Ah, the benefits of magic," he said dryly.

"Beaming?" the senator snorted.

"No, no beaming.  I don't usually beam.  I blip, I teleport, but I don't usually beam.  Why waste the energy?"  The senator glared.  Xander smirked.  "Yes, I learned real magic, Senator."

"We should have confiscated everything....."

Xander did a discernment charm.  "Huh, nicely done on the concealment charm."  He ended it and stared at him, getting a horrified look back.  Xander grinned.  "I had it all before I went to the SGC.  I picked up very few things.  For that matter, I may still back up Buffy.  Though I'm thoroughly disgusted with the conduct of the higher ups in my *former* country."

"I can have you arrested," he vowed.

Xander shook his head.  "No you can't.  For what?"

"Making me appear this way."

"I only ended it and any other magic user will testify to that."  He smirked.  "Beyond that, American courts don't believe in magic."  The senator slumped.  "I don't like playing politics.  I got tired of it when I was seeing an emperor."  The man gave him a horrified look.  "And then a ruler in another galaxy that's far on the other side of Pegasus.

"I've been all over this universe.  You can't prove I got anything from Pegasus while I was supposed to be there.  For that matter, I can bring Nila with me to protect her from you.  We all know I don't care about peaceful species but chaos demons....  No."  He smiled. "Now, want to leave me alone?  Because I'm actually happy and helping on Nila.  My boyfriends are there."

"Won't your wife mind?" he sneered.  He held up a form.

Xander looked at it.  "We never married.  Anya and I broke up when I got back from my trip.  Before I went SGC.  If you asked, they'd tell you that."  He handed it back.  "I can summon her since she's got her job presently."

"No," he said, shuddering.  "We're worried something of yours will fall into the wrong hands, Harris."

"I'm immortal," he said dryly.  "Thanks to how some extreme energy warped against the Sunnydale taint."  The man gaped in awe.  He stared back.  "Beyond that, I'm pretty sure I can trust my boyfriends and my almost little sister, Dawn.  Almost no one else can get into my house.  Which isn't in Pegasus either."

"Oh."

"I'm living with the coven."  He showed his mark with a smirk.  The man's eyes bulged and he shuddered hard enough to move scales.  "So, no, I don't think that's a worry."

"You have future tech."

"That I'm hiding from everyone, including Rodney McKay.  He knows that and knows why.  He and the Doctor talked a few good times about that subject."

"But... the Doctor?  As in *the* Doctor?"

"Yeah, he and I met a few times on my unplanned trip," he said dryly.

"You traveled through time and space without plans?" he snorted.  "Sounds like you."

"Actually, I activated a time agent's jump band by accident after I got it off a demon."

He nodded once.  "Fine.  Do you want to stay with the SGC?"

"Yeah, for now.  My boyfriends are there.  I like the translating work."

"Translating?"

"Yeah, I a linguist."  He smirked.  "I only temp in botany and physics.  One of my boyfriends is teaching me theoretical physics."

"Whatever.  I still want to see what sort of future tech you have."

"That's against the Prime Directive and the Doctor's orders," he quipped with an evil smirk.  "There's no way in hell.  Not even Rodney gets to see all of them."  He hung up the phone.  "Now, any other things you want to be shot down about?"

"You could take them over, couldn't you?"

Xander shrugged.  "Why would I want to?  That's really boring and a lot of paperwork.  No boyfriend time, no time to eat, a lot of problems?  I'm having fun being the geek to military liaison."

He snorted.  "Fine, whatever.  I'll let O'Neill have your specialized contract," he sneered.

"Thank you," Xander said.

"As long as all the weapons land at the SGC."

"They're all on Atlantis.  Sorry."  He shrugged and disappeared.  He went back to his sorting, finding Radek and Rodney helping.  "Thanks, guys."

"We heard about the stupid senator," Rodney said dryly.

"Yeah, he's a demon and wants all the future tech stuff.  Pity."  He got back to work on something.  "Rodney, you're not supposed to see some of that."

"I remember those rules," he said dryly.  "Think we can do a few hours in the Tardis away from all this?"

"Probably but I don't want my ass smacked.  Doc and I need to have a talk anyway."  He got back to his artwork, sorting out some things that were really ugly.  "Presents," he muttered.

Dawn snickered.  "At least your former lovers had somewhat decent taste."  She held up something.  It was a huge, round ruby with a strand of black onxy leading from it.  Just a single strand.  "Did it break?"

"No.  Did I clean it?"

She gave him an odd look.  "This is a sex toy?"

"Yeah.  Really expensive version of anal beads."  She carefully put it aside.  He smirked. "Where did you find that?  I was looking for that last week."

She pointed at the box, letting him go through that for the other sexually related materials.  She didn't need to know about such things.  Owen would think she was getting too kinky again.

Rodney looked at what he was taking out then at the boy.  "Your choice?"

"No.  A count's choice."  Dawn gave him an odd look.  Xander shrugged.  "I was sick as shit with the plague, black plague, and was having to defend the town I was recovering in.  The whole town was a plague town and someone decided to attack.  I defended the town, pretty much by myself, and the local count wanted to reward me.  I kinda passed out at his feet that day so he took me in and thought I was very heroic, noble, and sexy.  So of course I'd repay the healing care he gave me in a good way.  He wasn't *bad* but ...  The toys were nicer than the sex.  I had a few of those actually."

Radek looked at him.  "You had black plague?"

"Yeah, twice."

"How?" Rodney asked.

"Different strains.  You didn't see that in the memory review?"

"I passed on most of the sexual matter," Rodney said dryly.

"I forgot.  Yeah, there's a few like that.  Half the artwork comes from them."  He pointed at that stack.  He got back to work on what he had been doing, taking a few things from Rodney and Radek, putting them in his lap before they tried to fiddle with future tech they couldn't have.

"Xander, this isn't all you had in storage," Dawn pointed out.

"I know.  The rest is the stuff I know is mostly future stuff that's upstairs.  Locked in a room."

"Oh."  She nodded, getting back to the jewelry.  Jack and Ianto walked in.  "I'm helping Xander sort jewelry stuff."

"I can see that."  He picked up something.  "Isn't that the Star of India?"

"Yeah, I bought it in about ten centuries."

"Oh."  He put it back down.  "Anything we can help with?"

"Some seriously future stuff upstairs," Xander offered with a grin.  "You can sort that jewelry and clothes out."

"We can do that."  He and Ianto got drinks, taking them up there to help him with that.

Ianto found a box of clothing.  "I didn't know they had harem pants in the future," he said, pulling some out.

Jack sniffed.  "Those came from the nazi bastard that wanted to keep him and Doc."  He put them into a pile and started on the others.  The bed they were sitting on was nice and soft.  "I wonder where this came from."  He ran a hand over the quilt.  "Hmm.  Mystical marks sewn into the pattern.  I wonder what for."  He got back to it.  It was very relaxing and helpful.  Some of this stuff they couldn't let get out.  Though he knew some would be found this century by the people downstairs so he could casually drop it on them.

Ianto pulled out something.  "What is this?" he asked, holding it up.  "I haven't seen that sort of stone before."

Jack took it to look at in the light, then laid it on the quilt.  It lit up.  He picked it up, handing it back.  "They're like rubies only more fragile and the name roughly translates to blood's birth."  He smiled.  "They're fairly rare because they're so soft.  Xander probably can't wear that with his magic."  He saw Ianto pull out a few others.  "Hmm.  Must have come from a magically null world."  He took the smallest to Xander.  "Do you have a padded box?" he asked, holding it up.

Xander grimaced.  "I forgot those were in there."  He took one of his empty jewelry boxes to charm the outside of it then the inside to protect them.  Jack laid that in there and he nodded.  "That should hold everything but the cuff.  We can pry the stone out of it and wear the cuff without it.  Thanks," he said with a smile.

"You're welcome."  He took it back up there.  "We can put most of it in here."  Ianto pointed at the pile on the box lid he was using.  "That's probably not all going to fit."  He put the most delicate things in there then found a small, untouched box in the closet in there to put the rest in.  "I don't think he realized he had that many."  He put them on the dresser in there then sat down to go back to sorting clothes.

"Another few sets of harem pants and other thin, showy things to wear," Ianto said, putting them into one pile.

"Some of the ones he slept with probably liked him in them," Jack said with a smile.  "You'd look nice in that one."

Ianto gave him a dirty look.  "I'm not your harem pet, Jack."

"No, of course not.  Maybe just a birthday present?"

Ianto shook his head.  "I can't bellydance at all."

Jack snickered.  "Did you take lessons?"

"I tried one at the gym.  Didn't work for me at all."  He got back to his boxes of strange things.  "I have what looks like a hard drive."  Jack put it with his and they went on.  "Where is he going to put all this?"

"Some he might sell."  Jack finished up and labeled the box he refilled with skimpy clothes.  That got put aside and the rest got put into newly labeled boxes as well.  The rest of the room had tech and other things much too future even for Jack to touch.  Xander came jogging up and put something on the quilt, then stared at them.  "I noticed it was magical," he said dryly.

"For fertility."

"Thank God I can't impregnate him by sitting next to him," Ianto joked.

Xander looked at him.  "You can if you try in this bed."  Ianto blushed.  "Seriously heavy magic.  Someone made it for me so she could get a piece of the future me."  He left, going back to his sorting.  "The problem quilt is blocked for now."

"Good, what does it do?" Dawn asked.

"She created it so she could get knocked up by me."

"But you're not compatible with humans," Radek said.

"Yeah, it's magical, Radek.  I could knock you and Evan up on that quilt."  He shuddered.  "That's why I put the holding stone on it, just in case Jack feels frisky."

"I'd like a sibling some year but maybe not this one," Dawn called.

"No siblings!" Jack yelled back.  He came down.  "Xander, those hard drives?"

He stared.  Then he nodded once.  "Tardis is in the closet."  He smiled and put them in there for the boy.  Xander got back to sorting.  The clothing got put into his closet for him.  "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome.  Why do you have fur?" Ianto called from the main closet.

"Because they wore them there?" Xander guessed.  "I caught a few."  He got back to his sorting, taking something from Rodney as he ignited it.  He turned it off and put it into his lap.  It fused two things together, making Xander wince and work to get them unfused.

Radek leaned over to help.  "What do these do?"

"That's a plasma wave disrupter that's now fused with a wave generator."  Rodney looked over, reaching over to help.  They finally got it undone and safely stored away in the Tardis.  They came out to find an MP in there.  "I could've sworn I locked that," Xander said dryly.

"I had General O'Neill let me in, sir.  Where is this?"

"My house."  He smiled.  "Why?"

"Sir, there's a call for you to be in DC right now."

"For?" Xander asked.

"Huge demon, sir."

Xander sighed, grabbing a sword and walking him back to Jack's office after retuning the portal.  He had walked through one on Atlantis so something was going on.  The sword would do him good.  He gave him a small nudge.  "Run and tell someone.  Whoever hatched the plan."  He jogged off.  Xander followed, nodding at a few people.  "I don't know, O'Neill said he wanted to see me.  I was sorting my sword collection."  He walked into Jack's office, staring at him.  "You sent this one to Atlantis to get me to DC?"

"No.  I have no idea what this is, Xander.  Nice sword."

Xander smiled.  "Thanks."  He looked at him.  "Well?"  The MP changed, becoming a demon.  Xander beheaded it before it could finish changing and got the bomb it was wearing too.  "Yo, hiding and cowering Initiative douchebag, come get this thing."  Jack's assistant came in and groaned.  Xander tossed him the bomb.  Then the head.  "He wanted me in DC really bad."  He looked at Jack again.  "I'm sorting some of the stuff that had been in storage.  We're having a family night of it."

"I might come over later," he decided.  Xander smiled and disappeared.  "Clean that shit out of my office, Sergeant."

"Yes, General."  He got the clean up crew for demon problems in there to handle it.  He had no idea what they had against Atlantis or Harris.  He wrote Faith an email so she could ask around.  That way they'd all know and he could protect the general.

***

That night, Xander was sorting out what jewelry he wanted to keep and what he wanted to sell, finding a few things that he didn't know he had.  "Did he put that in my bag?" he complained.  Evan grunted since he was trying to sleep.  Xander smiled at him then got back to it.  He had a lot of things he wanted to sell.  And hey, his tax bill for the year had been paid in Cardiff.  So he was free and clear for another year.

He made up a box for his financial manager to handle.  He'd send it to him tomorrow.  He snuggled into his boys' arms, wondering how he was going to fix the Doctor's problem.  That spell on Jack had been his screwdriver's signature.  So what was the Doc doing this time?  Well, he'd have to talk to him about it.  Maybe he had a good explanation.  He had just the idea to get there too.  He had found them earlier.

***

Evan walked out of Xander's tardis first when they got back a few weeks later, looking around the house.  "There's dust."

Xander cast a cleaning spell, which activated all the other doorways that they were back.  "Dawn must've not been home in a few days."  He went to look.  They were in the right time.  They were in the right place.  Nila was there.  Atlantis was there.  Both were scowling at him.  "What?"

"The head of the coven was trying to be mean," Nila said.

"Yeah, I heard that.  He's not totally pleased at the moment since I told him to butt out and healed Doc from the current chess game going on."  He shrugged.  "Did he touch anything?"

"No, he could not do more than manifest in the house," Nila said.

Atlantis nodded.  "He tried to go into the gardens but your fountain trapped him for hours and he had to flee.  He could not come near the gate."

Xander smirked.  "Thank you for letting me know.  Is everyone all right?"  They nodded.  Daniel came out yawning and wobbling.  "You good?"

"I'm fine.  Thanks for letting me nap, Xander."  He looked at the ladies, bowing.  They smiled and bowed back.  "Problems?"

"The head of the order tried to check out the plants," Xander said dryly.  He went to check on his two special ones.  They were hungry so he brought a rabbit for them to rip apart and eat.  Plus he regrew some flowers that had been blasted.   They always drew bugs.  His plants were happier.  Xander looked up from his fussing to see the head of the order staring at him.  "You expected me to pick a side?"

"No," he admitted.  "I did not.  Those are interesting."

Xander smirked.  "Very but a present from a friend right before I finished my temporal trip."

"Nice of him I suppose."  He stared at him.  "The rest of the order is not happy, Xander."

"The rest of the order knows not to play games with the people who can screw up the universe," he shot back.  "The Black Guardian didn't win and neither did you.  We're back at board neutral, as it should be."

"You're right.  Too much order or too much chaos can cause problems.  You acted honorably to protect those people."  Xander nodded.  "We have trained you well."

"I had that before I trained."

He stared at him.  "How did you have that?"

"I grew up on a hellmouth, helping a slayer as a teenager."  The White Guardian gaped and stared at him.  Xander nodded.  "That's why you can't link into me.  The Powers are still trying to claim me and failing.  I moved myself out of everyone's grasp."

"I understand."  He bowed and Xander bowed back.  "When and if I pass on, someone will need to take over for me."

"Ask Clorisma.  She's mean enough."

"True," he agreed with a smile.  "Most of my wives are."  He smirked at the boy.  "You are still welcome here."  Xander tipped his head at that.  "I will calm down my coven.  Are you going to ascend?"

Xander shook his head.  "The Powers are trying really hard not to let me and I'm still kinda immortal."

"Good.  You would wreck havoc and I'd have to start playing to keep you out of the way too."

Xander smirked evilly.  "I do for the good of all, even if it's not the most pleasant to all sides."

"Which I understand.  Are you fighting against my alter ego?"

Xander shook his head.  "He loves me, you know that.  The same as Janus does."

"I'm aware," he said dryly.  "That's fine.  You will remain neutral.  Many have tried and failed."

"I can be the sort of neutral that plays whatever side is necessary for the good of all."

"That you'll be good at."  He smiled at the boy's mates.  "You need more spouses to take your attention."  He walked off happier.

"The head of the order," Xander said quietly.

"That's the White Guardian?" Radek asked quietly.

"Yeah."   Xander smiled.  "He's married to half the coven."  He took kisses, seeing the disappointed look Evan wore.  "I had no idea it was going to happen that way.  If I had, I would've warned you.  I knew we'd be seeing Doc for some reason.  I knew I needed to see what was wrong with him.  I had no idea we'd have the problem."

"Fine."  He looked at Radek.  "He wrenched his back saving the Doctor, even though he was possessed.  Then Xander nearly got possessed but managed to drive him off.  Then, and this was the best yet, the Black Guardian showed up and tried to take out the Torv and us."

Xander nodded.  "He and the White Guardian have been using Doc as a pawn for years," he told them.  "All sorts of 'will he or won't he', 'will he work for our good this time' situation tests, all of it.  I came out firmly on the side of everyone else in the universe instead of the games."

"Does that mean you're one of them?" Radek asked.

"No.  I'm no different than I was before, Radek.  If I have to, I can pull up some impressive shit, but even they have limits.  The same as all ascended do."  Radek nodded.  "We're not all-doing God sorts.  We're fairly confined in what we can and will do.  I have some firm ethical limits but I hate the higher ups playing games with people."

"How did they get the Master's spirit to put him into the Doctor?" Evan asked.

"Right afterward, there was a trial on Gallifrey with the returned time lords," Xander said.

"Jack said that they had to take him home since they came back because they wanted to know what had happened," Radek said.

"That was the trial," Xander said.  Radek nodded.  "Yeah, it went on for a few days.  Keller noticed that about the injury, just that I had somehow managed to keep the wound from aging and bleeding me to death.  Which wasn't that easy.  Gallifrey is null magic."  He shifted his weight, petting Morticia back since she was stroking his leg.  He looked at his boys again.

"During the trial they called back the Master's mind for his memories.  Because they called him back into being once to be the key they needed to try to come back, they could do it again and had to have a physical body.  That was the punishment for Doc getting involved.  See, the other time lords?  They watched it all like it was some reality soap opera.  Doc actually got involved, which was against the rules.  So they punished him and none of us realized it when they let us go."

"Did they hurt you?" Evan asked.

"No.  They had a hint I was coming and worse than they were willing to deal with."  He smirked.  "My scary rep from a few wars that I got forced into fighting got shown to them as well."

"Oh," Evan said with a wince.  Xander nodded.  "Are they gone?"

"Yeah, they faded back into the time stream, before it created the ultimate paradox and destroyed everyone."

"Then this was the last key to the paradox," Radek said.  Xander nodded.  "Did you know?"

"I knew something was wrong with Doc.  He tried to counteract Jack's immortality.  We found that out when Gwen made a wish that got Jack pregnant."

"That had to be a bad discussion," Evan said, shaking his head quickly to clear it.  "Is he better?"

"Yeah, the wish got countermanded."  He grinned at them.  "I'm no different than I was before, guys.  Even if I did get notice from the higher ups for standing up to them.  It's no different than I did fighting Adria.  I just ruined some long-term plans at the same time.  Which is a skill I've had since I was little."

Radek sighed.  "So no scarier magic?"

Xander shook his head.  "I know enough that I'll never have to study anything scarier, Radek.  If I do, it'll be to rebuild part of the universe."

"Can you?" Evan asked.

"The heads of the orders can.  Technically I'm like a high priest, guys."  They nodded at that.  "I'm just one that does what's necessary to protect the people from all that bullshit."

"So in the ship with the Torv," Evan said.

Xander smirked.  "The Torv...  Doc and I built them a security bubble that's out of time.  Like a time displacement one."  Evan sighed and smiled at that.  "The last few of them are safe but I'm not sure if they'll ever be enough of them again.  It's big enough to build an entire city for them.  It's on that lower continent you guys always wondered about.  That's how I realized I had helped with it.  I saw that scan.  Now, the Cathay system and all that?  It's safely in the Tardis.  With the ship.  I was going to present it to Landry so he wouldn't scowl so much."  He smirked at Radek.  "A whole Ancient ship but they had been living on it underwater."

Daniel smirked from the doorway.  "I saw the ship and the cathay, Xander," he called.

"We're bringing them to the mountain in a bit," he called.

"Okay."  He went to tell Jack that.

Xander smiled at them.  "I'm being a good boy, Radek.  Really, I am.  Even if Evan did freak out a bit because it was discovered how powerful I actually am and who the order bows to."

"I can understand such shocks.  I have the same feeling at times."

"It's not like I'm horrified or anything, Xander," Evan told him.  "Just a bit spooked.   You have enough power to walk through a desert and change it into a beautiful oasis."

"I've had that power.  I could've channeled the Sunnydale taint to do that, Evan."

"Fine, whatever.  I'm not scared."

Xander stared at him.  "But you want processing time?"  Evan nodded.  "That's cool.  I understand that.  Want to come present this stuff with us?"

"Of course.  I'm a third of the team," he said dryly.  They went to get the shrunken things and take them to the Mountain.

Xander walked into Landry's office and hauled him up, then took them to a world that the Ancients had used that was totally safe.  Xander concentrated and the old outpost and lab here woke up.  Xander put down the shrunken cathay area and attached it to the lab.  It integrated with a few beeps and a blip.  The AI came out to gush at him for it.  Then she noticed the others and bowed.  They smiled and bowed back.  She disappeared.  Xander walked off to a nearby field and put down the ship in the center, waving people back.  As he walked, the ship behind him grew and grew and grew.  It was finally about the size of Nila.

Evan smirked at Landry.  "The other is called a cathay, which Xander said was like a personal work area.  Not a lab really but like a home workbench."

"This is wonderful.  Does the ship work?" Landry asked.

Xander shrugged.  "Not the star drives.  The hydroponics I helped up before we set them up a safe area.  The labs work."  He smirked.  "If someone tries to take these, I get to kick an ass."  He walked around Landry.  "Going home, General."

"Thank you, Harris."  He looked but they were all gone.  He was left alone.  He didn't have an IDC but he hoped the gate was still open.  He hurried back and it was so he went to get his scientists to come see this.  Sam Carter would go jealous over it.

***

Xander and Armand snuggled in bed together that night, comfy and watching tv.  Armand was looking around.  "They're napping by themselves tonight.  They wanted a night alone, Armand."  Armand snorted but cuddled the daddy better.  He needed cuddles.  He had done a lot of stuff without him.  Armand heard a noise and went to investigate, sniffing at the police box that appeared.  He looked up as the Doctor walked out, nosing at him then nodding back toward the bedroom, walking that way.

The Doctor walked in, staring at Xander.  "Good evening."

"Hey, Doc.  Come watch stupid tv with me?"

"That's fine."  He sat down beside him, watching the stupid video show.  Armand was back on his human's stomach.  "That was very brave yet stupid, Xander."

"Hmm.  I seem to ride that line now and then."  He didn't look at him.

The Doctor stared at him.  "That was also fairly painful for you to do."

Xander stared at him.  "I can't let you destroy things either," he said bluntly.  "Not like I wanted to do it.  If you had told me, I would've gotten him out of you sooner."

"They did it for a reason."

"Yeah, to make you as psycho so they could use you," he snorted.

"They had a plan to save themselves."

"And destroy everyone else in doing so.  Yeah, I know about self interest.  What did you say about that?  That self interest and things like that would destroy the worlds faster than anything but one of the weapons I found?"

"Well, yes, I did say that."

"Have you talked to any of your other selves?"

"Two.  They were both horrified at what they tried but ..."  He sighed.  "It's not a good thing.  They were horrified you were strong enough to step in."

Xander waved a hand around.  "Welcome to the coven's realm."

"Really?"  He ran his screwdriver around then put it back.  "Interesting.  It's a fully formed realm."

"Yup.  Most of his wives are here."

"Oh."  He nodded.  He looked at his former protege.  "You still could've caused much harm."

"Less than you would've."

"True," he admitted.  He shifted, crossing his feet, putting his hands on his stomach.  He considered things.  "I'm not sure I should trust you with the knowledge you have, Xander."

Xander snorted, looking at him.  "Doc, I knew more than you thought way back when I was still a human," he said dryly.  The Doctor scowled.  Xander stared at him.  "I did.  You discounted me horribly for centuries because I was supposedly human."  The Doctor nodded at that and tried to move but Xander put him back into place so he could stare at him.  "That's something you've always had, Doc.  You always thought I was a human.  I haven't been a human since my first possession.  Not since the mermaid taint.  Really not ever with the hellmouth taint I carry," he said quietly.

"I hadn't thought of that."

"That's because you're not used to other beings that're good *and* powerful."  He smiled.  "I do what's necessary to protect everyone, same as you do."  The Doctor nodded at that.  "Just because you built up a mental image that was partially wrong, that's not my fault.  The same as it's not Jack's fault that you did it to him."

"I..."  He considered that, relaxing again.  Xander let him go.  He went back to staring at the tv.  "I did do that to both of you."

"None of your companions are the standard human, Doc.  They can't be or they'd freak. You're drawn to extraordinary people.  They have to be to keep up with how you bounce around the universe."

"Good point."  He considered the man next to him.  "You know, you always used to seem younger to me."

"It's my sugar habit," he said dryly.

"Quite probably."  He went back to considering how he had seen Xander.  This last saving had shown him some depth he hadn't wanted to see before.  "That war on Atlas?"

"Me."

"Why?"

"I stopped it.  I'll be damned if they were going to force me to fight in a war that wasn't mine.  So I lost my temper on the reason for the war and it stopped.  I refused to take over," he said, smirking at him.  "But I did stop the shit."

"Yes, I saw the aftermath.  Very quickly stopped."

"They would've lost over a fifth of their population," Xander said.

"They do have a lot of overcrowding."

Xander nodded.  "I pointed out there were better ways of stopping that, including zero population growth options and that they had a nice sister planet that was dying out.  That they desperately needed people who were willing to work in the factories, the farms, and all that."

"So did I and they agreed they'd contact them and work out something.  You laid the groundwork for me a few times."  Xander nodded.  "Huh."  He toed off his shoes and got comfortable next to him.  "Why do you watch this?"

"I need the stupidity and humor to cancel out some of the bad that I've seen," Xander said quietly.

"Why could you never get home?"

"Hellmouth taint.  It reacts oddly with the time stream."

"Oh.  Your bracelets counter that?"

"Yeah.  The new ones I made by sucking off some of the power explosion from Sunnydale do it especially well."

"Huh."  He considered Xander.  He had been more than a son to him, almost like a sibling and sometimes like a lover who would fuss over him.  The same as Jack was.  It was the most dysfunctional family ever.  Xander smirked at him.  "Telepathic?"

"No.  The look on your face.  You only get it when you think about bending Jack over the console again."

He smirked at that.  "That was fun."

"I'm told he did have some fun with it, yeah."

He relaxed, looking around.  "No Radek and Evan?"

"They got a bit spooked finding out how powerful I am," Xander said quietly.  "They wanted a night to think."

"Hmm.  Well, I'm sure they'll come back."  Xander shrugged.  "You'll work it out."

"Probably.  If not, I'll go looking for Ever."

"There's another city?"

"Yeah but it's mostly destroyed."  He shrugged.  "I know roughly where it is."

"Hmm.  Have you told them?"

"No.  They'd look at it like an archeological dig.  The SGC wants weapons more than tech.  I agree that they need it to protect everyone but the diplomatic side has fallen aside."

"I can agree with that.  Are you still content to be tired there?"

"Yeah, I am.  For now.  When I'm not, I'll go to Ever and work on her."

The Doctor nodded at that.  "That's wise.  Your beach?"

"I could bring Ever back there and work on her.  It'd be kinda nice."

"I'm sure it would be."  He gave the boy a cuddle.  It sucked that saving him and everyone had made his lovers scared of him.  "They know you won't do anything more than usual."

"It startled them, Doc.  I understand that.  I had that same reaction when I realized that I could ink that way into voids and things."

"I would as well."  He let the boy cuddle.  The videos were funny.  Even if too many of them made him wince at the crotch hits.  "Ow," he said at one.

"Very," Xander agreed.  He snuggled in better.  "Staying?"

"I need time out of the tardis.  She's not happy with what happened."

"That's because they infected her too probably."

"I fixed that, that's why she's upset.  For a while she wasn't alone."

"Hmm.  For a while we all weren't alone but it still would've cost everyone else their lives."

"True.  I can't be that selfish, the same as you can't.  She'll be fine."

"She has mine."

"I hadn't thought about that."  He got up and went to move Xander's to his for now.  They chatted and his cheered up.  "See, we're not alone."  She hummed at him.  He went back to watching videos with Xander.  Nothing would happen, he didn't poach, but they both needed the comfort of someone there in the middle of the night.

***

Radek flipped over for the twentieth time in an hour and got up, heading to talk to Rodney.  He found him in his lab and sat down next to him, staring at him.  "Xander is more powerful than we thought."

Rodney looked at him and nodding.  "You're only now figuring that out?"

"Yes."

"Hmm.  Yes, you don't get to be so high up in the powerful coven without being powerful.  After all, he can travel time and space without much strain.  That speaks of power."

"I thought it was liking Tardis.  You used the device to travel."

Rodney shook his head.  "Magic and other things like it are built on personal power.  Even if he has something to help him with the push, he can do it without it.  Just not as often or as far.  He did with the bracelet he got off Jack."

"I did not know that."

Rodney looked at him.  "When he was in the chair and had to go shout at the president, he wasn't wearing his bracelet then.  I had to use it to get O'Neill down there."

"Oh."  He considered that.  "So he has hidden it from us?"

"I think he sees it as another weapon in his arsenal," Rodney told him.  "Why does this worry you?"

"I had not considered him scary and powerful."

"He's not, he's Xander, who sometimes turns into Tias Diamalan when necessary.  It's like a secret identity to him."  Rodney stared at him then at the clock then at him.  "You left him alone, didn't you?"

"Evan and I both wanted a night alone to think."

"So he's probably moping in bed thinking bad thoughts about being abandoned."  Radek shuddered.  "You should try talking to him about this.  Though I don't know why you didn't see it before.  Maybe you thought him too pretty to be so harmful?"

Radek shook his head.  "He is very pretty but I am not one to be distracted by a pretty ass."  He sighed.  "Can I watch those memories?"

Rodney looked at him and shook his head.  "We erased them.  Talk to him, Radek, without nagging.  Without anything but wanting to know.  He'll tell you if you ask."

"Then I get angry at his past lovers who did not see him as good for more than in the bedroom."

"Well, if you leave him over this, then you're the same way," Rodney said bluntly, staring at him.  Radek scowled back.  "It looks like it from here."

"I am not."

"Then prove it by going back to your boy and talking to him."

"Fine.  You are grumpy I see."

"No, I am smart and talking to me about Xander won't help you any.  You talking to Xander will help you.  Though he'll probably get confused why you're worried and then huffy because you'll probably try to nag and he'll think you're worried that he's a danger.  Then we'll all lose Xander."

Radek nodded, taking that advice.  He went to the house, finding the Doctor in bed with Xander.  Radek scowled.  The Doctor stared at him.  "I came to talk to him about all the things he showed off that he shouldn't have," he admitted.  He tried to move but Xander wouldn't let him.  "I am not in his bed for that reason, Radek."

Radek waved a hand and curled up behind Xander, holding him.  "Is comforting, Doctor.   Has he hurt things so much that you cannot tease each other?"

The Doctor shook his head.  "I hope not.  I keep thinking of Xander as I first met him.  More innocent but already a warrior with a strong heart and a mind that was a bit damaged from all that he had been through.  I didn't see the strength underneath then.  Or the fragility he has because of his past life and then what happened when he traveled."  He looked at Radek.  "He is really an amazing man, Radek."

"I know.  I do adore him for that reason.  It is just weird to think that I am dating someone so powerful, who can do things that no humans should be able to do."

"Well, then again, as he's pointed out, he's not human any longer," the Doctor said with a smile.

"True.  I am getting used to dating an alien but now and then it strikes me in the face and I have to blink."

"He knew that, Radek.  He knew you'd come talk to him tomorrow."

Radek smiled.  "Probably over breakfast.  Our cooks are slacking badly on breakfast."  He got comfortable, petting the dragon, who stared at him.  "We will talk tomorrow, Armand."  Armand snuffled and got comfortable again.  Radek hoped he hadn't screwed things up.  "Rest, Xander, I am here," he said in his ear, making Xander relax again.  The Doctor cuddled back and the boy fully relaxed.  "He is used to all of us together I suppose."

"Probably."  He smiled and let Xander rest for now.  He never got enough sleep it seemed like.

***

Evan got found in the gym on Atlantis.  By John, who was pissed that Atlantis had woken him up to go talk to Evan.  "What are you doing?" John asked.

"Working my head around the fact that I'm dating someone with more power than some supposed Gods," he complained quietly.

John stood at the foot of the weight bench, staring at him.  "Why is this a shock to you, Evan?"  Evan put up the barbell and panted, looking at him.  "All the shit he did to help us didn't register?  All the stories he had, the times he left Atlantis to go find cheetos and twinkies?  None of that registered?"

"No, it did.  He can do it without his bracelet."

"Yeah, half the time he did.  You can tell by the difference in the flash."  He stared at his friend.  "You're acting like a teenage girl.  That's a quote from Atlantis."  Evan snorted, sitting up.  John shifted back.  "He's your boyfriend.  Treat him like you normally would or he's going to think you're abandoning him because you're scared of him."

"I'm not scared of him."

"If you weren't, you'd be asleep and so would I."

Evan snorted, shaking his head, grabbing his towel to wipe his hands and face free of sweat.  "He casually created a city-size displacement bubble with the Doctor's help.  He saved a whole society by figuring out the higher ups were playing a game and using the Doctor as a pawn, which saved him too by depossessing him."

"Sounds like Xander.  He does that now and then.  Or haven't you heard of the disease shield he put up?  Which nearly killed him?  Or the battle that got him put in a chair for months on end that nearly killed him?  Both battles to save a lot of ungrateful people."

Evan looked at him.  "How did they nearly kill him with as powerful as he is?"

"Maybe he can't access his full powers on earth, I don't know.  Maybe that was too much area for him or he was doing too much at the time.  You'd have to ask him."

"He...."

"It's frustrating dating an alien," John said dryly.

"He's not."

"He's not human, Evan.  Not with the DNA taint, not with the immortality stuff."

"Oh."  He slumped, considering that.  "Xander's this nice, goofy guy most of the time.  He's sweet, he's considerate, has some temper, is super smart but hides it."

"But now and then he turns into Tias Diamalan," John agreed.  "It's his version of Superman."

Evan frowned, looking at him.  "What?"

"That's his secret identity, Evan.  You're Lois Lane or that chick from home in Smallville."

"Oh," he said flatly.  "I'd have to be the girl from home.  Radek's the smarter one so he's got to be Lois."  He grimaced.  "I didn't consider it that way."

"Every being is capable of doing a great thing that can help save people at the right moment.  Even if they have no magic or anything else.  You've proved it a few times during battles."  Evan looked up at him.  "So have I.  So has Rodney.  O'Neill, all of us have.  The problem is that Xander has to keep proving it because for some reason it's drawn to him."

"Did you know that the head of the coven is a super powerful being that's like the Powers he talks about?"

"Yup, figured it had to be.  Considering they keep a realm out of time and space, one that's fully a whole world, and comfortable, they have to be pretty damn powerful."

"I didn't think about that."

"That's because you want Xander to stay in goofy boyfriend mode.  Not the full Xander.  And if you're making him sleep alone he's probably going to leave.  That way he doesn't cause you two harm."

"He wouldn't."

"He would.  He hates to get into personal fights with people.  That's why he gave in to Buffy so often.  Faith calls it the invisible avoidance maneuver.  He talks around it to defrost the situation then leaves before he gets drawn back into the argument.  You guys never had an argument, did you?"

"No," Evan said, realizing it.  "We talked a few times about important things but nothing that could go beyond a nag."  He sighed.  "So he really will leave."

"Yeah, because he thinks you broke up with him for showing that he could handle things when necessary and no one else is there.  Xander lives up to his names' meaning.  He's a protector of humanity, Evan.  What did you expect him to do?  Let them die?"

"He's hiding other stuff from us.  The Torv mentioned Ever."

"Okay.  Atlantis, what's Ever?" he called.

She appeared, staring at him.  "I am not allowed to talk about that, Child John.  Ever is not a topic that is allowed in my city."

"The Torv mentioned it," Evan said.  "Is it a city?"

She stared at him.  "I am not allowed to talk about that, Child Evan.  It is forbidden."  She disappeared.

John looked at him.  "Okay."

Evan nodded.  "Huh.  So ... you think?"

"Yeah, probably.  Probably a group that split off," he sighed.  Evan nodded.

"Please quit talking about that vile subject," she ordered from her projector's speaker.

"Yes, ma'am," they agreed together.

John looked at Evan.  "He will and you know he will," he said quietly.

"I'd go looking for him."

"Not if you can't get there.  Or then."

Evan swallowed.  "I don't want to lose him but I'm a bit scared of all that power.  What if he loses his temper at us some day?"

"He'd kick his own ass if he even thought about hurting you.  Look at his family, Evan.  He saw plenty of it and moved in the opposite direction.  He's been scarily powerful before and lost his temper, letting you calm him down.  Did he use it then?"

"No, but he wasn't pissed at us."

"I'm not sure Xander's going to be able to get pissed at you two unless you use him.  Just like all the rest."

"No, I'd never do that."

"Yet you're mad tonight because he's not just your boyfriend and a linguist."

"I'm not mad, I'm confused!" he complained.  He wiped his face off again.  "During the trip he quit being *Xander* and started being Tias Diamalan or someone else.  I...."

"You got scared that things were going on that he saw that you didn't," John agreed.  "He's used to people trying moves to get more power."

"I'm wondering if he set up that whole trip for that."

"I don't know.  You'd have to ask him.  Does it matter?"

"No," he sighed.  "Not really.  We got what we went for but it was...  It wasn't a mission so much as following a plan almost."

John leaned down.  "Xander's used to people playing power games around him.  Emperors always did."

Evan nodded.  "I realize that.  But... you think he noticed something?"

"I think some keys fell into place," he admitted.  "Probably when Faith said that Dawn complained about a wish demon making Jack Harkness pregnant."

"That was a few months ago."

"Yeah, and you slowly look at things and realize something has to be done.  Then what do you do?"

"You plan out your actions and do what you have to so people are protected," Evan realized.  John nodded.  "So if it was, bringing me and Daniel was to show off?"

"No, it was more a cover if it was for that reason.  He might have actually wanted to go there.  Might've wanted to find that ship.  This was just a secondary consideration."

"He did seem like he was waiting.  Then the Doctor showed up and Daniel realized something was going on."

"Yeah, Jackson's used to power players too.  The Gou'ald and being ascended taught him that."

"Oh."  He put all that into place.  "I'm being an idiot."

"Just slightly," John said sarcastically.  "You should probably go crawl into bed."

"I should, yeah.  Thanks."

"Welcome.  I'm going to get back to sleep."  John went back to his room now that the angst was over with.  He had no idea how Evan hadn't seen it.  Maybe he was seeing him like his former boyfriends did - just another boyfriend who was talented in bed and gifted with languages.

Evan went up to the doorway they had on Atlantis, going through to find the unusual bed.  He smiled at the Doctor being cuddled and sucked on by Xander.  He crawled in behind the Doctor's back since that was the only room on the bed.  He petted Xander.  He didn't want to lose Xander.   He loved his asshole boyfriend, even if he was freakishly strong.  It was like dating a mutant in the X-Men universe.  There was knowing and then there was *knowing* about the gifts.  Maybe because he hadn't seen Xander in battle before.  He had shown his warrior side a bit too well and Evan's inner warrior was stunned.

***

Daniel looked at Nila's projection.  "The Torv mentioned somewhere called Ever."

"Atlantis must be upset," she sighed.  "My child is forbidden to talk about it."

"Is it another city?"

Nila nodded.  "Back when my creators were still working on me, there was a group that wanted to be more scholarly instead of fighting."

"I can understand that.  I was that way before I met the SGC."

"Even with the threats they thought it was better to retreat than fight."  He nodded at that.  "They were not well liked or respected.  Which is why Atlantis is programmed to refuse them entry to her city."

"Who were they?"

"Some were Asgard.  Some were Lanteans.  A few were some that had started to go with the Ori's people but came back because they didn't like their ideas or where they were going.  Some were some aliens that they met along the way."

"So they left and built their own city of outcasts?" he said.

She nodded.  "They did."  She gave him a sad smile.  "No one knows where they went.  Just that it was safe and peaceful.  They had a world on the edges of this galaxy that they claimed.  No stargate goes there.  No ship ever had information on where it was.  It was forbidden to talk about them because they turned their backs on us.  Some of our brightest went there instead of fighting to protect their people."

"So that's why Atlantis is probably going to have a fit if we ask," Daniel said.

Atlantis showed up.  "It is forbidden to talk about," she told Nila.

"I was being built when they split off," Nila said.  "I remember them.  I can talk about them.  My programming does not mind."

"Mine forbids the topic and tells me to stop all discussions on it."

"We can fix that for you, child," Nila said.  Atlantis retreated.  She looked at Daniel, who smiled and nodded.  "We shall see what happens."

"Do you know what their planet is called?"

"No."

"Do you have any recordings of any of the fights over them?"

She searched and nodded, releasing them to his laptop.  She looked on Atlantis's banks too and found a few more she copied for him.  She smiled and disappeared, going to wake Rodney up to get him to help her.  He was off the city in the Mountain but his laptop was still hooked into the cities' systems.  "Rodney?"  He snorted and woke up, glaring at his laptop.  Her face filled the small screen.  "We must talk.  My child has a programming problem that will prevent her from allowing any of you access to certain information."

"On what subject?"

"Ever."  She faded as the computer shut itself down and restarted.

He stared.  "That was a bit mean, Atlantis."  He got beamed back and went to her chair room to interface with her systems better.  John got woken up and was grumpy as hell but oh well.  They had to fix this.  Atlantis could not be unstable.  It would be disastrous.  Nila was guiding him to the problem coding.  It was, of course, redundant like all Ancient coding.  He found parts by Janus to enforce it and removed it.  Then the rest of the deleting mentions.  He ran a protocol to put in acceptance of the other city.  She might still fight it but her coding was fixed by dawn.

Atlantis appeared, staring at him.  "We still do not want to talk about that subject.  They abandoned us."

John looked at her.  "If they're all dead, does it matter?"

"Their city would be programmed by them.  We will not accept that.  They were wrong to abandon us."

Rodney looked at her.  "It's been nearly forever," Rodney said.  "They 're probably all dead, if not ascended.  People will want to look over that city to see if we can learn more."

She stared at him.  "They ran from the fight.  It cannot help you."

"It can help us learn in other areas, Atlantis."

"They are not welcome here and anyone who goes to there is not welcome on me."

"What if Xander had been there in the past?" John asked.

She considered it.  "I..."  She paused.  "I would not like that for him but they still abandoned us.  If they had stayed, I would not have been abandoned."

"Just because they left doesn't mean they would have won against the wraith," John said gently.

"Two of the ones who abandoned us were better at weapons."

John nodded.  "I understand that, but it doesn't mean things would change.  Do the probabilities, just the math."  She ran it and looked down, nodding.  "We want to learn all we can from all of you.  They would probably send Daniel or Xander to look over this other area.  I know you like them and I don't want you hurt."

She shook her head.  "I cannot accept them back.  They were not of us when they abandoned us."

"Atlantis, would you talk about this group and how you think they abandoned you with someone like Dr. Sissler?"

She stared at him.  "Why would I?"

"I think, since she's the same sort of pacifist, that she might be able to add another dimension to the thought that them leaving meant you got abandoned.  She's said a lot of times that she'd like to talk to you about the abandoning because it could help you find more peace."

"I am a program, I don't really get peace."

Rodney smiled.  "It would help you deal with it in a way that left you not virtually spitting at them."

"I would still not allow anyone who went there here."

"I understand why but the generals will want to learn about it," John said.  "Which would mean that they would want to send our best there.  Even if they didn't feel the same way as the ones who left did."

"I understand why they would," she agreed.  "I still would not like it."

"Which is why I think that Dr. Sissler would help you," Rodney said.  "She's meant to help with things like emotions."

"I am a program, I do not have emotions."

"Then you wouldn't say things like 'I would not like it'," John countered.

She said, nodding.  "That is true, I have grown the basic emotions."

"Which is Dr. Sissler's job," Rodney said.  "Like Dr. Heightmeyer used to."

"I watched her a few times," she admitted.  "I would still not appreciate it."

"If they're ordered to go, they can't refuse," John said.

She nodded.  "I understand.  I would not like to make them choose.  Especially not Daniel and Xander or you two."  She faded out, going to find that doctor and talk to her.  She had to wake her up.  "There is talk about a place that is very bad and filled with people who abandoned the Lanteans so I was abandoned.  Rodney said I should talk to you."

Dr. Sissler put on her glasses and sat up.  "I'd love to talk to you, Atlantis.  Can I make some coffee while we talk?"

"Of course.  Humans seem to need coffee."   The petite redheaded doctor got up to make some coffee and came back to talk to her about this group.  It was a long talk but Atlantis needed it.  She still didn't like that other area, but she understood why they might send Xander.  He had helped Nila so much; he would help that one as well.  She would not like it but she understood why.  Dr. Sissler told her to come back later in the day to talk some more about this after thinking about the talk.  They would work this out together.

***

Xander woke up and blinked.  The Doctor was snoring in his ear.  Evan and Radek were awake and petting him.  "You came back?"

"Of course," Radek said.  "We only needed to think about things, Xander.  We did not leave you."  He petted him some more.  "When did he show up?"

"During America's Funniest Home Videos."

"Hmm.  You both needed the happy thoughts."  He smiled since the Doctor had quit snoring, and it was obvious he was listening.  Evan snuggled in again so the Doctor relaxed and drifted off again.  Radek smiled at Xander.  "I saw another side of you, one I had not seen.  It was not the usual boyfriend I am used to seeing.  Perhaps those who have seen you in battle have seen that side of you but we had not."  He smiled.  "I had to add that to my mental painting of you."

"I'm not any different than I was," Xander said quietly.

"No, but the way we saw you was different," Evan said.  "We saw you as the goofy linguist who spoiled us all.  The one who had latin smut and sparred and did anything you needed to so the city had it easier.  We didn't see you in the mode where you deal with plots and plans.  Where you had to deal with politics instead of being pissed at it."

Xander shrugged some.  "That's all in the past."

"Did you know it was going to happen during the mission?" Evan asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I knew I'd run into him soon.  I got hints from a vision that something there wasn't right.  That's why we went back a bit.  Because by then, the Torv were dead."

"Oh."  Evan nodded.  "I guess that makes sense."  He stroked over his hair with a smile.  "We still love you, Xander, you just blew our views of you.  Like if you suddenly broke out in James Bond, we'd all stare for a bit and then work it out in our minds after watching you in the tux."

"It's been a while since I spied," Xander said.  They both stared.  "Rome."

Radek shook his head.  "I like you when you're in cuddly boyfriend or super geek mode," he said.  He smiled.  "You in a fight would worry me.  I would worry I would lose you."

"You worry about that stuff," Evan agreed.  "So do I sometimes.  Because you can do scary, big, huge things in a battle.  Things that most of us think can only be done in a movie."

Xander grimaced.  "It's not that special."

Evan sighed.  "I can't do them."

"It's still not that special.  It's all training."

"Not everyone can take that level of training."

"Maybe."

Radek gave him a hug.  "It makes you uncomfortable to talk about and us to think about.  We like you better as super geek."

Xander looked back at him.  "Can't I just be Xander?"

"Yes, please be Xander," Evan agreed.  "Quit hiding things from us and pretending that you can't do things.  It blindsides us and we have to think and merge it with the way we see you.  Then we miss a night of cuddles.  We hate it when we can't be there for you."

Xander shook his head, getting out and going to the bathroom.  He looked upset.

Radek started to follow but the Doctor shook his head.  "Let him think."

"If we do, he'll pout," Evan said, heading in to discuss what he said wrong.  Xander had gone through the bathroom and was gone.  He came out, staring at them.  "He's not here."

Radek swallowed.  "I think he thinks we want him like his former boyfriends."

"I didn't mean it that way," Evan complained.  He looked up.  "Xander, I didn't mean it that way!"

"Come along, boys," the Doctor said, taking them to his tardis.  Xander probably used his.  Armand came running in and climbed in too.  He looked at them.  "There's a few options.  His beach.  Two other places he might go."

"Ever," Evan said.

"Where?" the Doctor said.

"Ever, the other city, where some of them split off," Radek said.

"Oh, that place.  I know of it."  He set the coordinates for the beach.  Not there.  It looked like he hadn't been there.  He went to the other two.  It took a few days in each place and they learned more about Xander when they asked about him.  Even though he hadn't been there recently everyone remembered him and had praise for his poise and skills.  Radek innocently pissed off one of Xander's former boyfriends.  Pity but the man got the point that they were better for Xander than he had ever been.  They left, going to the next spot.  That one got even more said about Xander.

Even the Doctor was amazed at some of the stories they got told about Xander.  There was no way Xander could show up there and not be noticed.  He was nearly a deity, usually called a gift from the Gods to the best of the best for being so good.  That was how Xander had learned chemistry way back when.  They went to the last place, Ever's planet.  The Doctor landed the Tardis, looking around outside.  "Well, it's a huge city."  He looked at them.

Radek had a scanner from Xander's stuff and used it.  "He is over fifty miles away."  The Doctor looked and nodded at that, moving them closer.  Radek smiled at him.  "Look, repairs."

The Doctor looked and nodded, walking out to talk to his protege.  He watched him weld something then cleared his throat.  "It is different seeing you from this angle."

Xander didn't glance down.  "I heard you land."

He climbed up and sat down, looking at him.  "I have no idea how to make this better.  Ten was better at that," he said conversationally.  Xander shrugged.  "They did not want to treat you like your last boyfriends.  Though Radek destroyed the hopes of one of them."  Xander grimaced.  "We were looking on Oretella."

"Why?" he asked, looking at him.

"Because I thought you might go there.  You seemed to nearly want to stay."

"One of them treated me like a human being.  I liked that."

"Your boys do."

"They used to."

"No, they still do."

"They only like a part of me."

The Doctor nodded.  "That's true of everyone, Xander.  Even when I loved Rose," he sighed.  "There were plenty of times I couldn't stand something about her.  The same as I can't stand part of Jack's personality."  Xander stared at him.  "Honestly.  They didn't want to think of you that way."

"They still did."  He got back to work.

The Doctor grimaced.  "Well, I think you three need to talk and you're staying until you do.  You're as close to the fairy tale as I'll probably ever get."

"The quilt on that one bed will get you pregnant."

"Not something I want think about today."  He pushed his hair back, looking around.  "Why black steel?"

"It's what's mined locally."

"The pretty glass is different than Atlantis's.  It's clearly not a copy of the other ones."  He stared around.  "Rodney would kill to be here right now."

Xander shrugged.  "I might consider stealing a stargate from somewhere and putting it here after I fix some things."

The Doctor stared at him.  "Should I ask Ten to show up?  You talk to him."

Xander grimaced.  "No.  Please don't."  Armand climbed up and into his lap, getting a smile and a pet.  "You brought Armand?"

"Of course.  He's your sacred egg.  If he could talk, he'd probably nag you about the way you leave him sometimes."

"Maybe."  He finished that weld and looked at him.  "I don't know anymore," he said quietly.  "It all seems kinda pointless."

"I got to that point about five incarnations ago and then got involved in a problem."  He frowned then cleared it up again.  "It's the problem of being so old and so unique.  They die and leave you.  You're the one who reminded me I had to take some joy from some of it before I got lost."

"You were lost."

The Doctor stared at him.  "So are you, Xander.  You have that problem too.  Otherwise you'd have driven me out of bed this morning by the noisy sex."

"I...."

"Come down, take a lunch break, and talk," he said quietly.

"Maybe."  He petted Armand.  "Why can't I find someone who loves me like he does?"

"Because humans are more complicated than dragons.  All those human things are far more difficult than just loving and accepting."

"It shouldn't be."

"Well, no, but I can tell you that you have a good thing.  You're avoiding it."  He stared him down.  "Come talk."

"I'm not ready yet."

"They did not want to treat you the same way."

"They only like part of me."

"No, they like more than that one part.   They're used to only seeing that one part of you.  You never let them see it."

Xander frowned.  "I don't hide things."

"No, you do.  You hid things even from me."  He stared.  "When we checked those other places, I heard many stories about how you moved among society, how you were seen as a gift from the Goddess to be given to her favorite scientists.  I was there and I never heard that one before."

"They all decided I was yours and you wanted someone different since you had Donna."

"Oh, I see."  He nodded.  "That's interesting but fairly disturbing.  How did they decide that?"

"You remember that ball?" he asked dryly, staring at him.

"Yes."

"Do you remember me being drugged to hell at that ball?"

"No."

"You should.  You actually handed me the drugged drink."

"I did?"

"Yes.  They drugged it on you."  He smirked.  "So the priestess decided that my not dying to confirm her place in society, since she wanted the guy you had me flirt with to get the weapon from him, meant I must be special from the Goddess.  So she prayed, proved it to herself and said that the poisoning made me be reborn as a handmaiden basically, only a specially skilled one since I was male and therefore that meant I was a gift from the Goddess for those who did her best work."

"Oh, dear.  I did not mean that."  He stared at him.  "I thought you had settled down."

"Donna tried to tell you."

"Donna fussed about leaving you.  She never said they had taken you as a concubine by force.  If she had, I would've rescued you and taken you away again."

"Well, I'm not sure she realized it was totally by force but she knew I wasn't really looking pleased."

"That's a good point.  I should have paid more attention to that now and then."  He looked at him.  "Like you, they don't like to think about those times.  It bothers them that you were treated so badly and that you were so hurt when they met you."

Xander nodded.  "I thought we got past all that."

"No, not really," he sighed.  "I can see both points of view, Xander, but I know that you need to talk to them.  They are stubborn and will probably climb up here soon."

"Radek's probably off checking the computer stuff."

"No, he's down there giving you a dirty look for saying that.  You are more important to him than science."

Xander looked down.  "We're talking."

"We can talk," Evan said.  "Please?"

"Later."

"No, now," Evan said.  "It's my fuck-up and I want to fix it, Xander.  Even if I have to climb up there.  Please?" he asked quietly.

Xander sighed and turned off his welding equipment, climbing down with Armand.  The Doctor was right behind them.  "I didn't mean to...."

Evan held up a hand then kissed him.  "I like all of you, even if you never let us see the other sides of you," he said, staring into his eyes.  "Please let me fix this screw up I caused, Xander?"

"Um....  I..."  He sighed.  "I thought I let you guys see it."

"Like everyone, we ignore the not so nice parts, like your temper," Radek said.  "We accept it is part of you but not one that we see every day."  He pulled their boy between them.  "I do like you more than science," he said in his ear.  "I would not leave you for something even this great with this between us."  Xander looked at him.  "I wouldn't."

"You're itching and nearly vibrating to go see how it compares to the other two cities."

"No.  Am I feeling that way?"  Xander shrugged.  "Am I vibrating?"

"No," he said weakly.  "I guess you're not."

"Have I made a move away from staring at you?"  Xander shrugged.

"He didn't," Evan said.  "Yeah, we like our things, but we like you more."  Xander looked so confused.  Evan smiled.  "It's okay, we'll work it out.  Doc, are we in our original time?"

"Um, no, not actually.  This planet's drifted farther off course and I can't find it in your time."

"It moved toward the nebula," Xander told him.

"That's interesting.  No, we're about five years too early at the moment.  Why?"

Evan looked at Radek, who smiled and they both held Xander.  "We could use some time alone and a honeymoon," Radek said.

"Brilliant!" the Doctor said with a grin.  "Absolutely brilliant.  Of course.  Should I get anyone, like the two semi-wise monkeys or Jon?"

"No, let's let it be us for now," Evan said quietly.  The Doctor smiled and nodded.  "Xander, how much work does she need?"

"Some welding out here on this street from a recent tornado.  A few things in the buildings.  A lot of work in the main building.  There was apparently a fight in there and some things got destroyed."

"How long have you been here?" Radek asked.

"Six, seven weeks.  I needed the quiet time."

Radek gave him a squeeze.  "I understand."  He took a kiss, seeing the pouty dragon face.  He kissed him on the nose too, making him a happy dragon when Evan did the same.  "He is a good child."

"He is," Evan agreed.  He looked around the deserted city.  "Is there an AI?"  Xander nodded.  "Can she come out?"

"She's running on solar power right now."

"Can we fix it?  It's odd not to have a mother-henning city looking over our shoulders," Radek said.

"Atlantis did not like this city," Evan told him.  "At all.  She said it was forbidden, this city drew some of the best and brightest away, and that's why they abandoned her."

"Hmm.  I'm hoping someone talks to her about that," Xander said.

"She said if we came here, we weren't going to be allowed back on her but we'll try to talk to her."

Xander nodded.  "We can do that.  Call ahead to Nila first."  He looked around again.  "It's quiet here."

"It's very quiet here," Evan agreed.  "Shit, I have duty in a few hours," he realized.  "Um....."

"I'll tell Jon last night," the Doctor said with a smile.  "See you in a few days?"  They all nodded and he hopped into his tardis to go do that and give them some time to talk.

"Do we have food and water?" Evan asked.

"Yeah, I have a room cleared in the building up the street since I've been working here."  He pointed.  Behind them, the latticework of the frame mimicked the buildings' skyline.  It was both decorative, protective, and yet still managed to be simply pretty.

Evan looked, smiling.  "It's beautifully composed.  You can tell they went for artistic.  Atlantis is pretty but Ever has a grace and a slightly gothic undertone."  Xander snickered.  "I know, it's all the black steel, but still very pretty.  I wonder how they made the colored glass."

"We have purple, red, and orange sand colors," Xander told him.  "We have blue by the ocean, it's tainted by some of the stuff in the water."

"Hmm.  So maybe they just melted some," he decided.  He took another kiss.  "Show us?"  Xander nodded, walking off with them.  Radek had an arm around his shoulders.  Evan had an arm around his waist.  It was nice.  He let them into the building two up from where he was working.  "What was this building?"

"This one was functional, part of the city's repair services.  The main building is that tall, red glassed one," he said with a point.  "There's a map behind you."  Radek got into it and nodded, letting it go so they could all find the bedroom together.  "The weather predictors said that we're going to have another tornado in a few weeks so we have to get the lattice fixed.  That way it can't destroy anything else."

"We can work on that later," Radek said quietly.  "For now we want some quiet time together."  He checked the bed then laid Xander down on the air mattress, laying on one side of him.  Evan got Xander's other side.  "Now, we will talk.  Like all lovers do, we must talk."

Xander nodded, staring at them.  "About what?"

"How about...  Tell us something we don't know," Evan suggested.  Xander looked clueless again.  "I didn't get to see the memory thing."

"Neither did I," Radek said.  "Not more than a few incidences."

Xander sighed.  "So you guys don't know a lot of stuff."  They shook their heads.  "Do you ... want a report on what happened while I was traveling?"

"If you want, or just tell us about the ones you liked.  The ones that stick out in your mind.  I know some of them won't be pretty but I had no idea you spied for Octi."

"People talk around me.  Especially if they think I'm just pretty and good in bed."

"It's that goofy, loveable, sweet act you put on when you don't want others to watch you too closely," Radek said.  Xander nodded.  "Hmm, I like seeing past that.  It shows more depth and more intelligence when I see past that."  He took a kiss and snuggled in to rest his head on Xander's shoulder, petting Armand.  "What was your favorite place to visit?"

"I...."  He considered it.  "I don't know.  Each place had it's pretty parts and it's ugly parts.  I...  Maybe Saletra?  It was a huge wooded world, built more on the middle ages ideals.  I wasn't stranded there, but I was recovering after a war and just blipped randomly to the next habitable planet from the war.  I ended up in a jail for seven weeks for startling the hell out of them.  That was kinda the nicest vacation I think I ever had.

"They knew about other planets and things.  Had space ships even.  When they tried to get me out after three weeks I protested, told them about the war I had been in, and that this was the nicest vacation I think I had had in a while.  The king laughed and said it was good his jail was so nice, he'd have to fix that.  Then someone showed up to tell him about the war that I had just stopped.  He came down that night with the guy, who gasped and asked why I was in there.  I told him it was a nice place to rest after the war.  They left me alone and went to talk about me behind my back.  Then I kinda left in the middle of the night when I got bored."

"It's strange that your nicest vacation was in a jail," Evan said.  "How did ours together rank against that?"

"That one was quieter, and had no threatening relatives, but I liked ours.  You guys made me go see things and talk to people who didn't want to own me.  It was nice to do fun things.  Can we hit an amusement park?"

"Definitely," Evan promised.  "As long as I don't get put on report for being AWOL."  Xander winced.  "It's cool."

"You can use mine to go tell them."

"Doc said he would."  He took another kiss with a grin.  "Have you been on any pretty desert worlds?"

"Yes, but that's where _Tremors_ was filmed," he said dryly.  "Huge ass sand worms that could eat a jumper."  Evan shuddered.  "I was only there for a few days for a reason."

"I don't blame you," Radek agreed.  "Did one try to nibble?"

"Everything tried to nibble.  From the bugs to the giant worms to the desert iguana like things, they all wanted to have Xander kibble."

"We would miss you if a giant worm ate you," Radek soothed.  Xander grinned at him.  "Any pretty places with plants that didn't try to eat you?"

"A few.  I need to show you my greenhouse in Cardiff.  And talk to Dawn because she keeps forgetting to water and weed it."

"Did everything go okay this year with the taxes and stuff?  Since this is your first year being Canadian?" Evan asked.

"I hope so.  My financial manager guy didn't say anything.  I'll call him when we get back."

"We can call him last week for all I care.  I don't want you to lose it," Evan said with a smile.

Xander grinned, hopping up and going next door to his wardrobe/tardis.  He called and then came back.  "No, it's fine.  He paid through next year for me.  Got all the stuff I sent to auction off.  He's confused so I told him it was prior boyfriend presents because he's a mundane."  He laid back down, snuggling Armand again.  "I called Jon too, he did get told by Doc, in time for morning call, and told Landry that we're having a day off because I'm pouty and needed to talk about past boyfriend problems.  He told Landry I had conjured up bad memories when I was sorting through some of my stuff in storage like he had suggested."

"So I'm not in trouble?" Evan asked.  Xander handed him his special cellphone, letting him call the main base.  "Walter, can I have Landry.  It is Evan Lorne."  He listened, Landry sounded pissed off.  "No, sir, I'm nowhere near any of the cities.  No, not a traveling accident.  No, not a mission.  Well, sir, technically my contract ran out about a day after Xander's," he said dryly.  "And no one's shown up with my paperwork either."  Landry moaned and said something smartass, making Evan smirk.

"No, sir, I think we're doing something important for the program but I also think that Xander needed a quiet day and we needed to talk to him today to help him.  Yes, Radek is with us.  Sir, where else would Radek be?"  He snorted.  "His ran out at the same time, sir.  We did that on purpose."  He smirked at his boys.  "Well, we can stay in this ancient city Xander found if you want.  It could use a bit of fixing here and there."  He saw something light up and nudged Xander.

"Hi, Eterna," Xander said quietly.  "These are Evan and Radek.  They're mine."

She appeared as an older woman, staring at them.  "Humans are now polygamous?"

"No, this human is," Xander said with a smile.  "They balance me out."

"Hmm.  That is nice.  Xander, can you work on the solar panels today?"

"Oops.  I've been working on the lattice work so it won't damage anything."

"I know and I thank you for it, but I have two burnt out panels."

Radek smiled.  "That is my job."  She smiled at him.  He took the phone.  "General, we are doing more important things for the project.  Ask Rodney.  He knows.  Yes, here.  No, we are not in time.  We are sorry but must be done.  There is no stargate here.  Yet.  Thank you."  He hung up and looked at Evan.  "He is swearing."

"He does a lot of that.  Especially since he realized I'm not technically military right now."

Xander flipped over to land on top of Evan, staring at him.  "Do you want to reup?"

Evan nodded.  "I think so."

Xander took a kiss.  "Then we'll support you."

"Definitely, though that means we may have to hide things again."  Radek took his own set of kisses.  "Let me fix that for her and we can talk again for dinner?"

Evan grinned.  "I'd like that.  Xander?"

Xander nodded.  "I could like that."  They all smiled and Radek got shown the solar panels.

Eterna showed up beside Radek once he was working.  "Radek, our people were peaceful.  You know that, correct?"

He smiled.  "Evan is a good man who has helped protect all of earth many times."

"I see.  From what?"

"The gou'ald, the wraith, the ori."

"Oh."  She considered it.  "Most of our people refused to fight.  We do not want violence here."

Radek smiled and nodded.  "We know such.  We do not intend to, simply to learn from you and your construction."

"That's fine then.  Would you be sending military people?"

"Our project, and we do protect Atlantis and Nila, is a military and scientific project both.  We would probably send very few guards, and only to protect you and our people since you are close to Ori space."

"The Ori?"

"The Lanteans that split because they wanted to be worshiped."

"Oh, them.  They are still around?"  Radek nodded.  "Interesting."

"They have ascended but turned a whole galaxy into their slaves.  Now they try for us.  Plus the wraith have nearly wiped out Pegasus galaxy's people.  We would be hiding from them."

She nodded.  "Hiding is a desirable option, yes.  How is Nila?"

"She's very sweet."  He smiled.  "We brought most outposts to her new docking center we had built for her.  Atlantis is very close by."

"That's wonderful.  Does Atlantis hate me?"

Radek nodded.  "She feels that the ones you came to be peaceful here would have meant a better time during the war with the wraith, which they lost and abandoned her for ten thousand years."  She winced.  "She is talking to others though."

"I'm sorry about that.  I know it had some severe consequences but peace is the highest goal."

He smiled.  "The other Lanteans agreed that personal peace was the highest goal," he said.  "We would all love peace but sometimes you have to defend yourself to keep peace and quiet.  Otherwise you end up slaves without any peace and much pain."

She considered that for a few minutes.  "I can see that point as well.  I would prefer no military people if you can get my shields working.  No one can get through them."

"We will see what I can do."  She smiled at him.  "We hope there are no natural predators?"

"Two or three different species but they do not come near the city."

"That is good but if they should try because we are here, we would defend ourselves."

She nodded.  "Self defense is admirable and reasonable.  Going out to start a war is not.  We started the war with the wraith from what my memories say."

"The Lanteans made the wraith," he corrected.  "Thus starting a war."

She shuddered.  "How barbaric."

"That has meant that we have to protect ourselves and others from them because to them we are food.  We may attack first but they still started the attacks overall."

"I understand.  I will not fight you on that necessity if it should happen.  Xander told me that he had traveled extensively and knew weapons to protect himself and me."  Radek smiled and nodded.  "Will you three be using the systems to have children?"  She wavered.

"No, we have Armand the baby dragon.  He is enough for now."  She nodded and disappeared.  He got back to fixing things and it was nice.  She fussed less than Atlantis and much less than Nila.  He put in his earpiece.  They all grabbed them by habit first thing in the morning.  Radek even showered with his sometimes.  "Xander?" he called.  He got a grunt from the dragon.  "Armand, ask Xander if we need food supplies."  He heard the mini roar and smiled.  Xander answered his own comm.  "Will we need food supplies, Xander?"  He said something with a quip at the end and got down to go shop at a place nowhere near earth.  He also went to lock up the house for a while then came back.  It was nicer.  They had three grazing beasts they could milk and eventually kill to eat.  Evan complained he didn't know how to milk a cow but Xander assured him he did.  Plus he had MRE's in the tardis in case they wanted to channel Rodney.

***

Back on base, Landry hung up and was tempted to throw his phone.  He called Colonel Davis instead.  "Colonel, General Landry.  We have no military contract on Evan Lorne and no other contract on Harris or Zelenka?"  He listened and winced.  "No, stop that shit.  No, they're all off base right now."  He listened to that part of the problem.  "No, not acceptable.  Yes, I want them back!  I have no idea.  Nila?" he called.  She appeared, looking attentive.  "Where is Eterna?"

"I have no direct address for her, General.  And please do not mention her to Atlantis, who will have a problem with her."

Atlantis appeared.  "Dr. Sissler is correct, is it not her city's fault that I was abandoned but I do not like that the best minds went to her instead."

"Xander is there," Nila said with a smile.  "The Doctor said he, Evan, and Radek are talking about necessary things."

Atlantis pouted.  "I cannot allow them on my decks."

"Then have Rodney and his people look at that coding, child."  Nila smiled a bit brighter.  "He may be able to bring part of her back.  To help protect us all.  Since they did not want to fight, they had to have very protective shields."

She nodded.  "That is true and wise, but it is in my firmware."

"I will talk to Rodney."  She patted her child on the shoulder with a grin.  "You go rest.  It has been a long night of talking for you."  Atlantis nodded and left.  She smiled at the general.  "I am sure whenever and wherever Eterna is, it is not a bad place.  They wanted to be in peace.  They will be back sometime soon I'm sure."

"That's not how this military works," he said.

"They probably aren't in this time zone since the Doctor took them to there."

"Oh."  He nodded once.  "Okay.  Can we be sure of that?"

"He's already left or I would ask him."

"Would Xander's phone work out of this time zone?"

"If he linked it to the house," Rodney said as he walked in.  "No, they've all been without contract for over two weeks now.  Yes, they had a fight.  They had a grand fight that got me bothered by Radek and John woken up by Atlantis to talk to Lorne."  Landry grimaced.  "Apparently Xander showed he was more than a goofy super geek and it bothered them.  Which brought up bad memories and he had to go have some peace and quite for a while.  No, they're not in this time zone."

"Are you from this time zone?" Landry asked.  McKay was tanned, looking more fit than usual and was trying hard not to smirk.  Their McKay was a bit more sour at the moment.

Rodney smirked.  "No."  He walked off.  "Walter, I need some help gathering a few camping supplies.  We need them on Ever for a bit."  He handed over the list.  Walter smiled and got the supply master for him.  Rodney had no idea who that was.

"What are you doing on this new place?" Landry called.

"Fixing it.  It's a fifty mile wide city at the smallest point," Rodney called from that desk.  Landry stomped out.  Rodney stared at him.  "She does not want fighting in her city unless it is to protect herself.  Thankfully, Xander and Radek fixed most everything with Lorne helping."  He smirked a bit. "It's a very nice, quiet, peaceful city, General.  Unfortunately I was about fifteen years ahead and you guys had lost the war."

"Which war?"

"The War," Rodney said bluntly.  "The one that started when the French decided to try their hand at making higher, ZPM powered weapons."  Landry shuddered.  "Thanks to the IOA.  The Doctor agreed I could come back today to stop that.  Plus to get some MRE's.  We're out and I don't feel like slaughtering a cow tonight."  He stared at him.  "By the way, they're already starting."  Landry went back to his office to call O'Neill and to stop that immediately.  He took the three boxes, floating them with the anti-grav unit he had built earlier.  "That's wonderful.  MRE's?"

"Yes, Doctor McKay, two boxes of MRE's, the other box has towels, some sheets, and the air mattresses plus a new pump," Walter said.  "And I included a bag of Hershey Kisses because I know Radek likes them."

Rodney smirked.  "Thank you, Walter.  We'll see you soon I'm sure."  He put on Xander's bracelet and disappeared with the boxes.  They could come raid supplies later in this time zone.  Before they got destroyed by Sam Carter doing something strange.

***

Back in Eterna, five years earlier, the trio was sitting down to their first quiet dinner together.  No other geeks, no city emergencies, no demons, nothing like it.  Just fresh milk, some stuff that Xander had gotten them, and some berries Evan had found growing.  Radek had a priority list from the city's AI.  Xander knew what he needed to work on to make the city strong enough to withstand another storm.  The cows were in the animal husbandry building a few miles away but Evan had found floating scooter looking platforms.  So that was nice.  They sipped and talked and Xander showed them pictures of his greenhouse in Cardiff.  He had all sorts of weird things in there and he loved working with his plants.  Radek suggested he get some cuttings to bring here so he blipped off to do that.  He and Evan shared a few kisses while waiting.  It was a nice night.  A bit cool, but the wind was blowing a little bit of dust.  They could fix that later.

***

Xander reappeared in the right time in his greenhouse, looking around.  "I know damn well we paid the taxes."  He checked his self updating watch.  "Oh, yeah, two years too soon."  He blipped forward, finding it all there and someone else in there.  He stared.  "Hey, Tosh."

"Xander!"  She jumped, staring at him.  "Don't scare me like that."

He grinned.  "Sorry, just gathering some samples to plant somewhere."  He picked and chose, taking a lot of cuttings and growing them to semi-mature plants that could easily be planted and not be fussed over.  "Enjoying a night off?"

"Dawn said weeding was cathartic.  Thank you for putting the compulsion to know how to weed."  He grinned.  "It's a nice, calm job.  We had weevils near here all day long.  So everyone else is up in the main house."

"I don't mind.  That's why I let Dawn use it," he quipped.  He got another few and looked around, walking over to get one last one.

"That's a spore plant."

"Yup, but it's also pretty and beneficial.  I can put it near the animal husbandry building and if I time it right, it'll go when the cows go into heat."  He smirked.  "Therefore more milk."  He put everything into a crate he conjured and magicked to protect the plants.  Then he called his wallet from his dresser and went shopping for food stuffs that they knew and understood.  Radek had looked oddly at some of his choices.  He came back with the massive load and carried it into the green house.  He found his wardrobe in there and Tosh giving it a long look over.  "Who?"

"Evan.  He went to check on Jack.  Something about needing boy lovin' stuff?"

"Shit, I totally forgot my oil," Xander said, moving to gather those ingredients too.  "I should have a good case in there though."  He carried things into his work area and put them with the groceries, then came out to pull a few of his mini trees in.  Since he didn't have to conserve power.  Then a few more things.  "Ah."  He grinned at her.  "Happy weeding and calming down, Tosh.  The property should have a protection against anything rift, dimensional, or demonic outside of imps."  He walked back in there to browse and see what he had stored.  Evan walked in with two boxes that looked heavy so Xander took one.  "We have some oil in here."

"We don't have any cleaning stuff."

"Ah!"  He nodded.  "Do I need to get pinesol too?"

"Nope, I got a few bottles for mopping and cleaning."  He took a kiss, looking around.  "We really need to clean out in here."

"Yeah but it's in stasis while in here."  He grinned and they went home.  Ever was a nice home.  They landed and brought out food stuffs, letting Evan put it up, while Xander pulled out the lube.  Radek was snoring gently into Armand.  "Aww.  I didn't think we were that long."

"Was a whole day," Radek mumbled, looking at him.  "You need more precise instruments."

"Wanna help?"

Radek grinned.  "Definitely."  Evan came in.  "Where did you go?"

"He got regular vegetables."

Radek nodded and they went to look inside the tardis.  It had many storage areas.  Some had clothes.  Some had potions and bottles.  Some had weapons.  Okay, a few had weapons.  There was a full closet of MRE's and a half of one of snack food.  Other basic supplies like bottled water got pulled out.  "Will it matter to expiration date?" Radek asked.

"Inside it's all in stasis so don't pull out too much," Xander said.  They nodded and got what they needed.  Then they laid back down on the air mattress.  "I don't know why I'm sleeping out here."

"The bed in there is nice," Evan agreed with a smile.  "But I like being out here.  It's peaceful.  Quiet.  You can hear the wind.  You can feel the breeze."  Xander nodded, snuggling against him.  Evan rubbed over Xander's side and back.  Radek was grinning and moved closer to snuggle as well.  Xander was a happy boy even without the sex.  They agreed it was fine and they had to show Xander that they wanted more than that part of him.  They would wait until Xander wanted it this time.  "Do we have a working shower, Radek?" Evan asked.

"Yes.  Three in this building alone."  He smirked.  "If we moved to main concourse, we could have huge bedroom that needs new sheets."

"Maybe later."  He just held Xander, kissing him gently on the head since he was so comfy.

Xander looked up at him.  "No pouncing?"

"If you want pounced, you have to ask," Evan said.  "That way you know we're not just with you for the good sex."

Xander grinned.  "I could use a good pounce."  Radek chuckled, grabbing the lube to open it.  Xander stripped down and shivered a bit.  "We need to block that breeze off some."  A forcefield went up across the doorway.  "Is Armand in here?"  They both pointed at him.  "Nap, Armand.  Daddy's getting Xander cuddles."  Armand gave a tired snort and put his head back down.  "I think he's growing again."  He squealed at the touch of lube to his hole. "Cold!"

"I will warm it up," Radek promised, stroking gently and letting Evan take all the foreplay fun this time.  He really would have to claim both his boys soon.  A small jar appeared next to him.  "If that's oil, we have some," he called.  "Thank you."  No response from the AI.

"She's conserving energy for tomorrow," Xander said.

"Ah."  Radek nodded and got back to work playing with his boys.  Evan groaned when Xander went down to suck him.  "So pretty," Radek moaned.  He was harder than he had been in a while.  Xander's ass was at a perfect angle for him to take.  He slid in without problems, setting a soft, gentle rhythm this time.  Evan moaned and arched up, taking Radek's hand to hold.  It was a good ride and then Xander reawakened Evan's desire so he could have him as well.  Radek, well, he played with Evan's prostate while Xander rode him into a deep, sated state.  Then Radek slid in and rode him into sleep.

Xander smiled.  "Does that mean we get you sometime soon?"

Radek kissed him.  "Of course it does. I should not always be on top even if I am possessive."  He kissed Evan as he came, making Evan moan.  Xander came over and slid in, making Evan hiss and arch up and wiggle for them.  "Hmm.  Much more lively."

Xander grinned.  "I'm trying that new stuff she sent."

"It's a bit warm but good!" Evan moaned.  "Oh, god, more, Xander."  Xander slowly rode him into a goofy, grinning, happy, lazy state when he finally got to come.  Radek was staring at Xander, who kissed him.  "Tomorrow night we all get Radek."

"Hmm.  Will be pleasure in more ways than one," Radek agreed.  They snuggled in under the blanket and Armand came over to nap with them.  Like usual.  It was nice.  The breeze came back and it was better.

***

Radek came out the next day from fixing more of the solar panels to find Evan shirtless and Xander naked while planting.  "Are we having special occasion?"

"Nope, just enjoying some natural Vitamin D," Xander said with a grin.  "Join us?"

"I would not mind but I am usually more modest."

"Who's going to see, Radek?"

"Ever's AI."

"She's ignoring the naked boys," she said from a nearby speaker.  "All boys have to be happy and if being naked does that, so be it."  She went quiet.

Radek grinned and took off his shirt and pants, leaving him in his boxers.  He came over to help.  That's when he spotted the one plant.  "We need spores?"

"I was going to plant them by the animals."

"Hmm.  Then we will have many baby animals," he agreed.  He took kisses and helped dig holes for the plants.  Xander was in his element playing with the plants.  Evan and Radek helped but Xander did all the planning and the sorting.  The few stunted trees went in a nearby park.  The food stuffs went into the bigger plots and the pretty things went around the seats they had built around planters.  It was a beautiful thing for their area.  The rest would come as it would.  They could build up to it again.  Xander even planted some tea flowers, making them all happy.

When that was done, they went to find the swimming area.  Atlantis hadn't had one but Evan had found one on the map.  It was a natural pond.  It was clean, had no fishes, and was deep, but a bit chilly.  Xander dove in anyway and then waved them out that it was safe.  They swam around to play for a bit, splashing each other, doing some underwater groping.  By the time they got tired, it was time for dinner.  Evan made dinner tonight while Xander helped Radek shower and clean himself out.  The enema wasn't that bad.  Xander knew what he was doing and made it good for him.

"Shh, just one more rinse," he soothed, stroking Radek's stomach while nestled up behind where he was leaning on a wall.  "Just one more rinse and you'll be so clean Evan will be able to eat dinner out of you."  Radek shivered at that thought.  "I have something chilly and sweet in the tardis."

"Ice cream?" he said with a smile.

"Lemon sorbet."

Radek moaned, letting more water fill him this time.  Xander turned it off and stroked over his stomach, making Radek relax and let things work their magic.  When he was finally ready to release, he got put onto the toilet and Xander let him do it in private while he shaved his chest.  "We do not mind," he pointed out.

Xander smiled.  "Joinings should always be special events."

"Joining, I like that," Evan said from the doorway, leaning in it.  "I like that better than married."

Radek nodded.  "So do I."  He moaned as more came out.  "Our evil thing used gallons on me, Evan."

Evan smirked.  "Good.  I want you nice, clean, and tidy for me."  He came in to get a quick kiss then went to join Xander in the shower.  "Hmm.  Freshly scrubbed.  Pretty.  Soft."  He ran a hand over the hairless areas.  "We should shave everything tonight."

"Then you'll itch," Xander said with a teasing grin.

"I want my first joined night with you to be spectacular and mind bending," he said, staring at him.

Xander beamed and kissed him.  "We'll use the special oil then."  Evan nodded, taking the wet shaver to do his own chest hair.  He didn't have as much but enough to need done.  Xander was more than happy to help him get his pubic hair trimmed down.  "All of it?"  Evan moaned, already hard and needy.  "Please, Xander."  Xander finished shaving him, knowing that the vibrating was tormenting Evan even worse than usual.  Evan shot a load on Xander's chest but Xander only laughed and licked the head for him.  "Oh, God, yes," Evan said, clutching the wall.  "Please?"

Xander finished up the shaving, making him turn around so he could get around his hole.  Evan whimpered but let him do it.  It felt so nice, the vibrations around there were wonderful.  Radek came in and stood in place for Xander to do him.  He also moaned, groaned, clutched at Evan, and nearly passed out when he came.  His hole got clean shaven as well.  Then they pulled up Xander to shave him.  Radek had the finer touch but Evan was letting Xander lean against him.  "We should clean all of us out," he said in Xander's ear, getting a moan and a nod. "You would for us?"

"Of course."  He panted.  "Radek, I'm going to blow on your glasses if you don't get out of the way," he warned.

Radek took them off and put them aside then went back to what he was doing.  Xander's cock was nicely sticking up against his stomach so not in the way.   Evan teased Xander while Radek shaved him, then they turned him around to shave his hole too.  Xander yelped but it wasn't a pain yelp.  Radek got the hose for the shower and attached it again, lubing it gently before sticking it inside Xander's body.  Xander whimpered, shifting his legs outward, leaning on Evan's shoulder.

"We have you," Evan soothed.  "Too warm or too cold?"  Xander shook his head quickly.  "Let it go, baby.  We love you and would love to see you like this."  They soothed Xander through the wash and rinses.  Then Evan got his turn and they babied him too.  He wasn't as used to non-doctor given enemas.  So they taught him how good it could feel with a little cock head licking and some stomach rubbing.  Xander even played with the tube, stroking it in and out while it ran.  They finally finished the shower and went out to eat, sitting together on the air mattress, eating off the one bigger plate.  Radek smiled and fed Evan a bite, then Xander one.  Evan did it back to them.  Xander fed them both then ate a bite.

After dinner had been put aside, they stared at each other before Xander kissed Radek, pulling him closer so he was straddling his lap.  That gave Evan the opportunity to find the special oil Xander had gotten for them and work it into Radek's body.  Slowly stretching him, making him whimper and groan into the kisses.  Evan took his own when he could.  They hadn't ridden Radek hard and fast since the first spored incident.  So maybe tonight it'd be a good, long, hard ride.  Evan finally slid in, moving Radek onto his lap.  "Shh, I have you," he said in his ear.  "That's all me."  He rode him gently, letting Xander tease them both and himself.  "Oh, Xander."  Radek moaned at the sight of Xander stroking himself.  "Isn't he pretty, Radek?"

"Very pretty."  He swallowed some air and panted, shifting against Evan's body.  "I should have you both."

"You will," Xander promised with a grin.  "I'm so going to ride you like you do me in the mornings, Radek."  Radek let out another moan and shifted again.  "Unless ... you wanted to do like when we were spored?"

"Oh, God, that was fantastic," Evan whispered in Radek's ear.  Radek nodded.  "You sure?"  He nodded again, shifting off so they could sit with their cocks together and slowly work their way into Radek's body.  Radek was nearly stiff and vibrating by the time they got in there but they did finally pop in and earned Radek splashing Evan with his come.  "Shh, we have you, Radek.  Just relax.  It's just us."  He soothed him, letting him calm down while he and Xander got comfortable for the long ride ahead.

Radek finally sat up, looking at them, leaning back against Xander's chest to get a kiss from him.  "I need more, to be owned by you both," he told Xander, who groaned and shifted up, thrusting lightly.  "Yes, more of that.  Mark me as yours?"

"If I mark you as mine, you're never leaving," Xander warned.  "I'm possessive."

"I know.  That is what I need."  Xander whimpered, staring at him.  Radek smiled.  "Please, Xander?"  Xander nodded, sliding out of the group to get something from the Tardis to bring back.  He wiggled back into place, slowly sliding himself back in beside Evan's cock.  He opened the small pen-looking thing.  "I'm certain," he said at the look.  Xander nodded and bit him, drawing a little bit of blood.  The tip of the pen like thing was dipped and Xander drew a few marks on him, then one final one was ringed around the group a few times.

Radek tensed as it heated but Evan kissed him and it was great.  Xander added another mark to the ring, intertwining them.  Then he sealed them in with a touch of magic, making Radek yelp but push down.  That was powerful magic and it had sent his body crashing back toward orgasm again.  Both boys were doing wondrous things.  He could feel them both, just slightly different.  A bit thicker on one.  A bit longer on the other.  He couldn't tell which was which but he knew that they were both his.  He was babbling in Czech again and he knew Evan didn't understand but Xander was whispering what he said to Evan.  It was intimate, special, and not interrupted this time. He finally got off and the mark burned for a second then went dark and under his skin.

"Mine," Xander cooed in his ear.  "Tomorrow we'll mark Evan."

Evan nodded, swallowing hard.  "Tonight?"

"That would mean Radek would be able to get it up again," Xander said with a tease.

Evan took a kiss.  "Teach us how to do yours?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  They rode Radek until he couldn't take any more and had to sleep.  Then they came and laid down together.  It was a tangle of bodies but they were sated and happy.

***

The next day, Radek was walking funny but they babied him until he decided to go work on the lower level solar panels.  Evan was getting himself psyched up for that night.  Every now and then, one of them would brush against his backside, making him shiver.  He and Xander were welding so they couldn't be naked for now.  Radek was shirtless, getting quite a good tan.  They came down for lunch, which turned into bottles of water after blow jobs.  Xander was spoiling them rotten with the attention.  Evan got him back though and Xander was limp and happy for the afternoon's welding.

Evan looked around.  "Xander, when is Doc due back?"

"Sometime soon.  Probably not tonight.  Why?"

"Making sure it wasn't going to be witnessed and broken into this time."  He grinned.

"He wouldn't interrupt even if he did show up.  He might cuddle up afterwards, but not during."

"That's cool.  I didn't want to come out of it to him going 'oops, didn't mean to peek' or something."

"He'd just smile and sneak off for a few hours."

"I can accept that."  They finished up the welds they had planned and used an outdoor shower by a set of trees to hose off the sweat and flecks of solder.  They both got naked and played, which drew Radek, who was still a bit sore but wanted to play.  Evan was being treated like the harem princess he would be later that night.  Radek made dinner while Xander helped Evan clean himself out.  It was very nice help, one that included a very arousing scrubbing.  Evan came out sparkly clean.

Dinner was another single plate, feed each other affair that got him highly aroused since Xander managed to drop a piece of vegetable in his lap and leaned over to suck it and the sauce off him.  Radek moaned at that, putting the plate aside so he could have his own fun.  Evan was carefully stretched by Radek, who loved to play with them.  Xander got him first this time, making him nearly come but not quite.

The final stretching would be easier that way.  Xander and Radek sat, balls together, Xander's legs on the bottom, while Evan slowly lowered himself down.  Radek handled inserting them so Xander could steady Evan.  They popped in and Evan whined.  "Oh, I thought it was going to be more loose."  He wiggled some, getting them deeper.  He finally sat all the way down and they thrust, shifting his weight back and forth to trade off the deeper strokes.  Sometimes together, sometimes apart.

Evan was losing his mind when he felt Xander bite him.  Then he felt the slight scratch of the pen thing on his side.  He moaned as it heated, then the last ring was put around and he had to come.  The mark flashed then sank in.  Evan panted, leaning his head on Radek's shoulder.  "I'm going to die but be happy about it," he said hoarsely.

"You will not die," Radek promised, shifting some.  They were still hard and Evan was nicely damp, twitching around them.  "I managed not to die."

Evan laughed, sitting up to take kisses.  "You're right, you did, and I won't die.  I just won't sit for a week."

Xander pinched him on the butt.  "Of course you will.  You'll sit in a lap."

"That's a happy thought."  They stroked his sweaty body while they worked him back up, making him a very happy boy by the time all three of them finally came.  They flopped down, cuddling Evan between them.  It was nice.  Usually he did the cuddling but he could accept it tonight.  Because he couldn't move and he was really sore now.  He felt the warm cloth be run over him and blinked.  "Doc," he said quietly.

The Doctor smiled.  "I see a new tattoo?"

"Marked," Evan said with a grin.  "Xander said we're his."

"Finally."  He put a sheet over them.  "How many more nights?"

"Just his," Radek said.  He smiled.  "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome."  He laid down on top of the sheet, cuddling against Xander's back.  Xander was already asleep so he was happy.  "Sleep, boys.  We'll talk tomorrow."  They nodded and drifted off.  It was a happy bed.

***

Evan found the Doctor building some odd sort of frame the next morning.  "What's that for?"

"A bit of spice," he said with a grin.  "I've seen it used before.  He'll hold on, be a bit suspended for a while, which will make him concentrate on where you're touching him instead of being so immersed in the touching."  He smirked.  "That way you can make him feel just what you want him to."

Evan smirked.  "A bit kinky, Doc."  He helped him since his welding was done for the day. "I need to know how to draw those marks on him."

"Hmm.  He's already traced his in a wax pencil so you can trace over them."  He grinned.  "That way there's no mistake in the marks."

"That's nice of him."  He rubbed his side.  He was still sore there and in his butt.  "How long do you stay sore after this?"

"I don't know.  Most mystical marks sink in fairly quickly."  He gave him a look.  "I know that particular one because he found the scroll with it while with me in a marketplace.   I know it takes sperm to activate it."

"So he's probably not shooting as much," Evan said, going to find Xander.  "Hey."

Xander smiled, letting him climb into the outdoor shower with him.  He took a kiss and then got down to lick over the mark.  "Hmm, still some ink taste so I didn't shoot off enough."

"Is that why I still ache there?"

"Yup, a bit."  He licked over it again and turned Evan around to tease him and get him happy.  Evan moaned, shifting as he was played with.  Xander was mean to his poor, open, sore backside but at least he was gentle.  It was a quick, gentle, soft ride.  He felt a small burn from the mark but it settled in deeper with a glow.  Xander nibbled on the side of Evan's neck.  "I would've gotten off more last night if I had realized," he said in his ear.

"Last night was perfect the way it was," Evan said, turning around to get his usual cuddle.  Xander grinned, cuddling him while they showered off the new sweat.  It was nice.  He could learn to like this quiet, peaceful Xander.  Radek came over and stripped off to join them, getting a touch on his mark by Evan.  "Think his fully set?"

"I have noticed some ache in it," Radek admitted.  "Is there problem with it?"

"Xander doesn't shoot much," Evan said.

"Ah!"  He nodded, smiling at Xander, who moaned and kissed him, him and Evan moving to tease their lover.  Xander clearly had superbeing stamina again.  Radek was groaning when Xander took him against the pole of the shower.  It was another soft, gentle ride that Radek appreciated because he was still a bit sore too.  Finally Xander got off and Radek's mark sank in with another glow.

Evan looked over the mark Xander had drawn on for him, then at his and Radek's.  "Xander, it's upside down," he said.

"Sorry.  Can you follow it?"

"Definitely."  He took a kiss, cuddling him between him and Radek.  "We should finish up for the day."  The water turned off and they walked off, not caring if they were naked.  The Doctor wouldn't care.  He had taken off his bowtie and jacket so he was comfortable.  Xander looked at the Doctor and magically switched his clothes to a pair of plaid shorts and a plain t-shirt that went with it, plus socks and earth sandals.  "Geek," he teased with a grin at Xander.

"Thank you, Xander.  I'm fairly comfortable now.  It's a bit warm today," the Doctor said with a smile.  He finished what he was building and brought it in for them.  Xander stared at it then at him.  He smirked.  "You needed something special."

"Yes I did."  He gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  He got a cuddle back.

"You should rest so you can spend all night together," the Doctor said with a wink.  He went to explore more of the city.  It was a fascinating place.  The AI was good company too.  He could poke around things until well after the boys had joined again.  That way they were bound together for good.  His padawan would be happy and content.  Then they could figure out if they were going to finish fixing the city.

***

"How do you keep track of when you are?" Radek asked during dinner.  "Right now, five years before when we should be, I was busy trying to save myself from freezing to death on outpost."

Evan smiled.  "I had just barely joined the SGC," he said.  "I think it's more that time moves in one direction and while our personal timelines may loop a bit, it doesn't interfere with the flow of time itself."

Radek thought about that.  "True, but can still be confusing."

"I keep an electronic calendar in the tardis to keep track of the current earth date relative to my current one.  When I go backward, it freezes on that date," Xander said with a small shrug.  "If I go forward, I tend to freeze it so I can get back to that same point."

"So, for you, it's like bungee jumps from a point forward or back," Radek said.  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Huh."  He took a kiss.  "Dinner?"  They nodded, settling down to eat.  It was going to be another great night, then they'd get the Doctor in to sleep next to them, like usual.

***

The Doctor looked around a few weeks later.   They had done a good job, the newest tornado hadn't caused too many problems, and Xander had moved them to the main building before the storm.  Both Tardises were in there as well.  They had everything started and Radek was working on the power equations they might need.  The Doctor knew something needed to happen. They had years here.  "Boys."  They looked at him.  "Are just the three of you going to stay here?"

"There's not much damage to be fixed," Radek said quietly.

"Hmm.  I think he thinks we'll drive each other nuts without people being here," Evan said.

Xander was half-asleep.   "We need to work on the defense options because in this time, the Ori are moving massive ships this way in about six months."

Eterna appeared.  "Xander, our shield will protect us."

Evan shook his head.  "No it won't.  You can tell energy output through it.  The Ori will come looking to see why there's higher level energy."

"I can teleport through the shields so their version of beaming will work," Xander agreed, sitting up.  He looked at her.  "I have no desire to put multiple weapons here, Eterna, but we have to be able to protect ourselves and the shields are good, but not perfect."

She considered that.

"I'm sure there were peaceful people who were still willing to protect themselves before," the Doctor told her.  She nodded.  "Well, this is the same situation.  All of us would love peace, but if they come we have to be able to make sure you and your city don't fall to them.  Or else they would rip you apart and use your abilities to harm others."

"Plus, Priors use energy from the surrounding areas, like I can use magic, only weaker," Xander told her.

"I have seen your memories of them," she reminded him.  She sighed.  "I do not like it but we do have one weapons platform up the city."  She pointed.  "It is not operational and I would wish it would not be."

Evan smiled.  "We'd never go start a fight, Eterna, but if they come here, they're in trouble.  We won't lay down and let them take you."

"I can understand why and I am mostly flattered," she assured him.  She and the Doctor walked off talking while Radek found the weapons and went to look them over.

Xander looked at Evan, then sighed and got up, going into his tardis.  He came out with a bag of dried cranberry snacks and a few rolls of plans.  "Radek?"  He came back and Xander handed them over.  "Drunken planning with Jack."

"Thank you."  He took it off to look over and see if he could build them into the current weapons.  They were in a bad spot for anything but an overhead battle.  For this he might need some help.  The four of them would have to talk about letting others invade their privacy.

***

The Doctor landed on Atlantis the morning when they had left Xander's house, earning a scowl.  He stared at her.  "Your sister city wants to live in peace, Atlantis."

"I still am not allowed things from there here."

Rodney shut down the AI and fixed that problem.  He waved the Doctor into the chair room.  "We know.  What's going on?  I'm hearing mentions of people on that other city?"

"Well, yes, and it's a beautiful, quiet, peaceful place.  Who will have the Ori flying overhead soon."

Rodney glanced up from the computer code to look at him.  "Excuse me?"  He finished up and restarted her.  "Feel better?"

"I do," she admitted.  "I feel much better about my sister city but I still do not want its things here."

"Xander's there working on her structures," the Doctor said quietly, glancing around.

"The IOA aren't here any longer," Rodney assured him.

"Still, it is a bit... private."

"Good."  He stared at him.  "How far back are they?"

"Five years."

"Oh."  He considered it.  "Anything major that needs fixed?"

"She's barely allowing the weapons systems to become active for defense only.  We have no idea if they'll burn out during it or not.  Plus she's on solar power, which makes sense but her AI can't come out at night.  The structures are mostly sound but a few windows need repaired after the last tornado."

"Hmm."  He nodded.  "We could fix that."

"She doesn't run on ZPM power."  He handed over a note from Radek's notebook.  "He's been working on that."

Rodney looked it over, smirking meanly at him.  "Is this a plea for help?"

"Only if you can be peaceful and learn to relax," the Doctor warned.  "The trio have worked things out and they're very firmly joined."

Rodney nodded.  "Will I need anything?"

"Sunscreen.  You're a bit fair, Rodney."

He snickered.  "I am, yes."  He stared at him.  "Should I tell anyone else?"

"If you want to bring someone special, it would be allowed."

"I'll consider that.  Sheppard?"

"I don't know if he'd want to go."

"He could use some peace and quiet.  He's still got battle nerves."

"So does Xander."

"Hmm.  Give me twenty minutes?"

"Of course."  Rodney left and the Doctor held up the data cube from his pocket.  "From Eterna if you wanted to see."

Atlantis stared at him.  "I would like to see how they built her.  Is she as beautiful as I am?"

"In a different way.  She's all black steel and colored glass."  She nodded, scanning the data cube.  She smiled.  The Doctor smiled.

"Xander is happy?"

"Xander is very happy and they needed this time alone to talk and work things out without all the problems of here."

"I understand."  She bowed.  He bowed back.  "I will allow them back.  They are my family."

"I understand fully.  That's the same way I see them."  She grinned and disappeared to talk to Nila.  He waited.  Rodney brought John Sheppard and Miko with him.  "Doctor Kusangi."  He bowed.

She bowed back.  "Will they need more help, Doctor?"

"I do not know," he admitted.  "Most everything works.  She's been kept in amazing shape by being in a temperate zone and having her shield running on solar power."

"Oh."  She looked at Rodney.  Who shrugged.  "May I come?"

"Will you be bothered on the days that Xander runs around naked?" the Doctor asked.  John snickered, shaking his head.

She considered it.  "I would be the only woman there, yes?"

"Yes," he agreed.  "Unless I go steal Jack, Dawn, Owen, and Ianto."

"Ianto doesn't really have skills for this."

"Actually, he has many unused skills," the Doctor corrected.  "He also likes to organize and can cook.  Owen's a doctor.  Dawn has her skills as well.  I can't really take their significant others without them."

John nodded.  "If I was dating, I'd like that."  Faith stomped in.  He smiled.  "Problems?"

"Where is X?" she asked the Doctor.

"On Ever."

She blinked.  "Another city?" she mouthed.  He smiled and nodded.  "He need help?"

"There is nothing to do there if you're not working on something," Rodney told her.  "The AI and city were built by the pacifist Lanteans."

She shrugged.  "How bad can it be?"

"No tv, no radio, nothing but a few of us," John told her.

She sighed.  "How far back?"

"Five years," the Doctor said.

Miko smiled.  "I would need to get something to stop certain things.  Let me talk to our Doctor?"

"I can have Owen get some for us," John said.  "He won't ask questions."

"True, not many," the Doctor said.  Miko nodded and went to pack a large bag and a few things she wanted to take with her.  John and Rodney both had theirs already.  They were used to packing.  Miko came back with three bags that got beamed in by Atlantis.  "Are we set?"

"Please," Miko said.  "Even if there is no one there other than these to talk to, it will be nice.  I can bring much back to help Atlantis and Nila."  The Doctor smiled and nodded, opening the door of the Tardis.  They loaded in and went to Torchwood.  Miko looked around.  "I was told this was more industrial."

"No, the old one was," Owen said dryly.  "They're on a call, Doctor."

"That's fine, I needed to ask a favor of you and then talk to the four of you," he said.

Owen nodded.  "Dawn'll be back in about twenty from class.  Jack and Ianto will be back from the weevil in a few minutes."  He paged them all.  "What sort of favor?"

"I am going back to help another city and would need female shots," Miko said.

Owen nodded.  "I have about a year's supply here, I can get more but it'll take about half an hour to be delivered."  He turned to the computer to send that off and got what he needed.  He was packing other medical supplies.  He lifted his head.  "Is that why you came to talk to me?"  The Doctor nodded.  Owen grinned.  "I'll pack double for Dawn because she'd kill me if I left her."

"I figured as much, though there won't be much for her to do in her areas.  Unless she wanted to cook and things."

"Ianto does that better.  But that's why you'd have to talk to him as well," he realized.  The Doctor nodded with a smirk.  "Hmm."

"If we could wake up Carson it would be better but his clone is unstable and dying," Miko sighed.

"That's something to see if Xander knows anything about," the Doctor told her.  They all stared at him.  He smirked.  "There was one, for a very short time, but that was during a war and he fell.  He was like Xander before he traveled."

"Interesting to know," Owen said.  Jack and Ianto walked in talking quietly.  "We get it?"

"Done and gone," Jack said, smiling at the Doctor.  "Problem?  Apocalypse?"

"New city."

"New city...."  He looked at Ianto then at him, changing languages.  "How much work and when?"  The Doctor told him in the other language, getting a few nods.  "I'd love to help them," he agreed in English.  "Owen said you wanted to talk to Ianto."

"Well, they are five years out of the current time," the Doctor admitted.  "You'd never hold out that long."

"True."  He looked at Ianto.  "Xander found another city."

"Interesting."

"They're back five years to work on the repairs."

"I can do some very good wiring work.  I learned at the last hub when things broke down."  Owen snickered.  He looked at the Doctor.  "Is there much work there that needs to be done?"

"No.  Not much fixing left but there's some structural things, some animals.  Xander imported a few cows and a few other things for some reason.  He even put spore plants out there so they'd have fun when it went off."

"I heard he was in the greenhouse getting samples," Jack said.  He looked at Ianto.  Who stared back.  "It's five years."

"You'd never last that long without sex," Ianto agreed dryly, making Owen cackle.  "I believe I can handle some of that," he told the Doctor.  Who smiled at him.  "We'd need to gather some things like clothes."

"That'll take us about an hour," Jack said.

"It'll take me an hour to get the medical supplies we'll need," Owen agreed.

"Will we need an ATA carrier for the infirmary?" Rodney asked him.

"I don't think so and Owen is one," the Doctor said, earning a smirk from Owen.  "Xander seems to gather those around him."  Gwen and Tosh walked in, Dawn after them.  "Dawn, a pretty princess again I see."

She smirked.  "I felt.  I'd have absolutely no work there, would I?"

"Animals, the AI talks English and a few others."

She sighed, sitting down to look at Jack.

"You can stay but Owen would be going."

"He'd never last for five years without sex."

"I can so," Owen complained.  "I have a hand, Dawn."

She smirked at him.  "Uh-huh."  She looked at Ianto.  Who smiled.  "Fine.  Give me an hour."

"That's what we agreed," Jack said.  They went home to pack and he made sure Dawn brought practical things instead of just shorts and tiny tops.   Dawn brought back three floating bags, one of them Jack's, and Ianto had to go buy shorts and jeans for himself.  He didn't have too many things he could get dirty in.  Dawn also brought weapons and a few other things.  Including making them stop off at the grocery store to get some stuff.  Then she shrank that into another bag.  They came back stocked up for a good, long time.  The Doctor got them into the Tardis, helping Owen with the boxes of medical supplies.  Gwen and Tosh had been sent out by Jack for a few hours so they could leave without questions for all the packing.

***

Dawn walked out first, looking around.  "It's beautiful here."  The AI appeared.  She smiled and bowed.  "Eterna, I'm Dawn Summers."

"Nicely met, Dawn."  She bowed and Dawn smiled, bowing back.  "You are not human."

"No, I'm not fully human.  Let me introduce the others."  She walked her into the Tardis to float out things and introduce all the others to her.  She was most pleased to see Rodney and Miko.  Plus the data cubes that Atlantis had snuck into Rodney's things.  Everyone got settled into rooms in the main building.  The apartments were nice, a bit bigger than Atlantis'.  Dawn walked out in shorts and a t-shirt, finding Evan staring at her.  "Hell no you can't have my man for five years without me."  She smirked.  "Ianto and I can help do all the animal and planting stuff."

"That's actually pretty helpful," he admitted.  He smirked.  "We...joined recently, Dawn."

She pinched him on the arm.  "About time."  He smirked at her but they walked off to gather the others.  She squealed and pounced Xander for a cuddle.  "You look nice with the tan.  You haven't had one in a while."  She smirked at him.  "Let me handle the animals?"

"Go for it.  The stables even have a self-cleaning feature."  She smirked at that.  He hugged the others.  "Guys, we're peaceful here.  Eterna doesn't even want to do more than hide in case of an attack.  Radek?" he called over the intercom.  "Visitors."

Radek came jogging back.  "Good!  Miko?"  She nodded, staring at him.  He smiled and hugged her.  "We are repairing the weapons today just in case.  Rodney, her power cells are damaged and need to be worked on?"

"Gladly.  Just the solar ones or the others?"

"Both unfortunately.  I have started it but with the Ori moving past us soon, this was more important."

"I can do that.  Colonel, shall we?"

"We should," he agreed, going to help him.  He pinched Radek on the neck.  "About time you three did the bonding thing."  He nodded at the tattoo with a smirk since he was shirtless.  "Looks nice on you."

Radek smirked back.  "Should be glad that Xander is not naked boy today."

Miko squeaked.  "I will get used to it and not look, Radek.  I know where he belongs."

"Thankfully so does he."  He walked her off, taking her to show her around.

Jack looked around.  "Owen, let me help you unpack."

"Let me, I'm better at organization," Ianto said.  "You and Dawn study the city and look around."  They nodded and broke up.  The Doctor helped them get things where they needed to go but otherwise, he wandered off to read in the sun.  It was a good vacation for him as well.  Ianto looked out over the city, sighing in pleasure.  "It's very serene and beautiful here."

Owen looked at the view then at him.  "I don't think they'd care if you pounced Jack into something solid."

Ianto smirked.  "I'd never have sex in public, Owen.  It would be an offer to join in."  He walked off happier.  He found the kitchens and what they already had.  He organized in there as well.  Then he started on a good dinner.  He wouldn't mind being the camp mother for a bit.  He'd learn how to help on other things eventually.

***

John came out of the power generation plant later on shirtless and sweaty.  He stretched up and then out.  His back popped, making him sigh in pleasure.  "We good, Rodney?"

"We're fine now.  The cells are all charging the right way.  The rest of the system is now online so she has as much power as she wants to generate.  I need to take notes for Atlantis and Nila."

"We do," John agreed with a smile.  "Especially since Nila is in a sunny spot."  They walked off, heading up the main street.  "This is a pretty city.  Atlantis is shinier and seems graceful but she's a grand old lady."

Rodney smiled.  "She is.  Different but clearly just as artistic and meant to be soothing to the senses.  He sniffed.  "Did anyone tell the others I have a citrus allergy?"

"Don't touch the green balls on the one tree," Evan called from where he was working on the lattice work again.

John looked up.  "What's that for?"

"As far as we can tell, decoration but it has some lights and could probably be used for displays."  He climbed down with the welding gear.  "We had to fix some.  She had a few tornados."  He looked at the trees and pointed.  "Those are citrus tasting, we're not sure if you'd be allergic to them or not, McKay."

"You may as well call me Rodney, Major," he said dryly.

"Fine, Rodney then."  He walked them back to their rooms so they could clean up.  He came in to find Xander on their bed, stretched out and glistening from a massage.  "Did Radek run in and molest you then leave?" he teased.

"He went to check on dinner."  He pulled Evan down to kiss him.  "Shower, sweaty.  I like my men with clean bodies and dirty minds."  Evan smirked, going to clean off then coming back to tease Xander some more.  It was always fun when Xander was limp, sated, and ready for more.  Evan didn't even have to enter him, all he had to do was touch him and Xander was ready to come.  That oil was a precious thing.  He played and got rewarded for his blowjob by Xander giving him one back.  That was the life he wanted.  Radek came in with a smirk, standing there watching them.

Xander pulled off Evan with a slurp, licking his lips.  "Hi, Radek."  He got back to his blow of the century.  Evan was groaning and gripping the sheets like he was going to rip them.  Xander eased one hand off and put it in his hair.  Evan got the point and played, giving him a kitten-style head kneading.  Xander finally made him come and Evan went limp with a scary grin.  Xander winked at Radek, who came over to kiss them both.  "Dinner?"

"Yes it is," he agreed.  Evan whimpered.  "I know, you are in Xander's no brains state.  Still must eat so we can pounce him later."

"He's so being ridden hard tonight," Evan agreed in a drowsy voice.  Xander snickered, kissing him.  They got up and put on something so they weren't naked.  That was the rule for the kitchen and dining area.  They went to the caf, Xander holding Evan's hand.  Radek hated to hold hands.

Miko smiled at them.  "Good evening."

Xander hugged her.  "Hi, Miko."  He got dinner, looking at it then at Ianto.  "You cook better than I do."  He sat down to inhale the scent.  "Mmm."

"Worked up an appetite?" John teased with an evil smirk.

Xander grinned and nodded.  "Evan made me hungry."  He ate a bite, ignoring Evan moans and head shaking.

Rodney looked at Xander's glowing skin.  "That's not your oil."

"No, it's one I made with the recipe Eterna found for me."  He ate another bite.  "Thank you, Ianto.  It's great."

"You're welcome, Xander."  He brought out one for himself and Jack, earning a kiss.  They sat down together to eat and get used to the others.  Dawn was teasing Owen.  Xander was inhaling his so he could pounce later.  John and Rodney were happy talking and Miko was talking with Radek about where everything was.  Ianto looked down.  "Are we spreading over all the city?"

Radek nodded.  "We've been all over the city so far."  The Doctor walked in and got a plate, sitting down as well.  "Did you have a nice nap in the sun?"

"I did.  I haven't had a vacation in quite a while.  Usually it's interrupted by an emergency."  He smiled and dug in.  "Splendid job, Ianto."

"Thank you, Doctor."  He ate a bite of his own and went back to teasing Jack.

This was how a family should be: peaceful, calm, sated.   Having fun and being together.

8: Days In The Life Of Leisure

Evan looked around the kitchen.  "Eterna, do we have anything that could help us make ice cream?" he asked the AI.

She appeared, looking at him.  "What's ice cream?"

"Ice cream....  Hell, if you could read my mind," he muttered.  "It's sweet, cold, churned milk and stuff.  It tastes really good and Xander's birthday is soon."

"I can read your memories," she reminded him with a smile.

"It's what the Doctor ran out to get the other day and hogged, until Xander made begging, pouty faces and got some," Dawn told her as she walked in.  "I forgot his birthday is soon."

Eterna considered that incident.  "I did see it but I do not know if I have the capabilities to make any."

"We have to check Xander's storage areas," Dawn told Evan with a grin.  "He routinely stocks it with things that he'll probably need sometime.  I'm sure it'll have an ice cream churn."

"We didn't run into those when we cleaned out the closets."

"No, they're full rooms," Dawn assured him.  "With the tardis spell on them."  She led him to where the two Tardis were, walking him into Xander's.  "Dear, we're going for the storage areas.  Evan needs an ice cream churn for Xander's birthday."  The hallway changed to show five doors.  "Here we go."  She walked into the first one.

He looked over her shoulder, sighing.  "He could seriously have stuff we need in here."

She found the manifest list and handed it to him.  "Which room is it in?"

He read over the thick book, which was alphabetical at least.   "Here we are, room 6?"  A new doorway appeared and he went into it.  "Ah!  His candy stash room!"  He found the ice cream churn, it had a light shining on it.  He spotted a small box.  "Nerds."

"Nerds?" she asked.

"Yes, nerds."  He snatched a box of strawberry/grape ones and she found the salt and sugars they'd need to make ice cream.  They went back to the kitchen.  The nerds went into Evan's pocket.

Ianto walked in and smiled.  "Ice cream?"

"Yup.  Xander's birthday is in a few days."

"Am I making the cake?"

"I'll ask Radek if he wants to," Evan said with a grin.

"Xander usually has an ice cream cake for his birthday," Dawn said.  "I can make a mean icing."  They got to work on the hand-crank churn.  It was an older style one.  It took nearly forever and killed their shoulders, but it was worth it.  They had ice cream for the first time in Ever.

***

Jack and Radek were making the cake for Xander's birthday.  Jack smirked when he saw the Doctor show back up.  He had taken the time to change out of his suit again before coming out.  It was nice of him.  Jack walked out to hug him.  "I know your artificial birthday point is coming up."

"It is, isn't it.  I never celebrate it without Donna there to nag me."  He held his head.  "No, there she is to remind me.  She does love to nag."

He smirked.  "We're celebrating it the day after Xander's.  You get to pick what you want for dinner and all that."  He took a kiss and went back to his cake making.

The Doctor smiled.  "That's wonderful.  What are we doing for Xander's?"

"We have made him an ice cream cake, if we can get the cake done," Radek said.  He scowled at it.  "I am not meant to be a baker."

The Doctor came in to help him.  He had seen things baked but hadn't actually done any on his own.  It was a bit lopsided but Xander would sniffle in joy that they had remembered.  The frosting was ready to be spread over top of the ice cream and it was nice as well.  Dawn was very good at decorating.

***

Evan was waiting when Xander came in after his birthday dinner.  "I have a present for you," he said with a smirk.

"What sort of present?"  He took off his t-shirt and Radek did the rest of the stripping for him.  "You're dressed?"

"Just the one thing," he admitted.  "That way I couldn't destroy all my hard work.  It was kinda odd to do.  I did have to break into the candy stash."

"You broke into my candy stash?"

"Yup."  He spread out.  "All for your birthday present."

Xander moved around the bed, carefully taking Evan's shorts off him.  He saw the wrapping paper on his penis.  "Is that my present?" he asked with a grin.

"Yup.  Unwrap it and see what it is."  He pulled Radek down to kiss him.  "You can help him enjoy it if you want."

Radek watched as Xander unwrapped the penis slowly, then gasped.  Evan had dipped the head of his cock into melted chocolate and then coated it with little strawberry nerd candies.  "Oh my god," Xander breathed.  "That is a great present, Evan."  He leaned down to lick over the hole.  Evan shivered.  "Oh my fucking god, Evan."  He kissed him desperately.  "Thank you!"

"You're welcome.  I figured you'd like to have some sweets."  He winked.  Xander nodded, already drooling.  "Clean it up really good and then Radek can have the rest."

Xander moaned, moving down to lick at the crunchy candies.  The chocolate had hardened into a shell that still stuck to the skin.  He really had to lick and suck to get the chocolate and candy off him.  Evan was groaning and holding onto Radek for dear life.  Xander was phenomenal at blow jobs but this was more than that.  Xander was inhaling his cock this time.  It was so erotic.  He could feel each lick, each slight scrape of the teeth, each time Xander freed a candy piece to crunch it up.  He wanted to come so much but it would ruin his treat if he did.  Even the cock ring he was wearing wouldn't stop him soon.  "Xander," he moaned.

Xander smiled at him.  "If I wasn't already yours, I'd marry you for this."  He went back to it.  He was so going to ride Evan into the bed and possibly the infirmary for this birthday present.  It was the BEST EVER!

***

Outside the room, Miko was blushing, looking at the people who were heading back to their own rooms.  "What do you think they're doing to Xander?"

"That is Evan," the Doctor said with a smile.  "But I won't share that secret."

Rodney looked at him.  "Is it why Evan was melting chocolate?"

"Oh, yes, and why he broke into the sacred stash of Nerds."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, XANDER, PLEASE!" Evan shouted.

John coughed to clear his throat.  "It sounds like it's a good birthday present."  The others all nodded and headed for their bedrooms.  Once he was in his he shook his head.  "I thought they were loud during the spored times," he told himself.

"Xander, please don't kill him," Radek begged.  "Please let him come!"

John looked at the wall.  There was a room between each of them.   Should he be the hero stud he was and go save Evan?  Nah, Evan would kill him if he tried.  He laid down, smiling at the noises coming his way.  It wasn't like they couldn't sleep in tomorrow and it was exciting to hear it.  Even if Evan did just let out a scream like a teenage girl finding a boyband in a mall's lingerie store.  John stared at the wall but there wasn't any more noise.

Owen's voice floated back a minute later.  "Do I need to intervene?" he called loudly from the doorway.  He could hear John and others snickering.

"Don't you dare!" Evan shouted hoarsely.

"Okay.  Come get me if you need me.  I'm molesting Dawn."  He went back to his room to speculate what they were doing with each other.  He might like to try that.  Dawn was always up for anything.  As proven by the chocolate drizzle she had all along her chest and stomach.  "Hmm.  I've been missing sweets."  He leaned down to kiss her then lick it off, as was intended.

She groaned, arching up into his mouth.  "This is better without the nerds," she moaned.

He lifted his head.  "Excuse me?"

She smirked.  "Evan melted the chocolate, I got his extras.  He painted the head of his dick and then patted on nerds candies."

Owen shifted with a moan of his own.  "I might try that sometime."  She gave him an evil smirk and held up the brush she had used to paint herself.  He went back to licking her clean.  He could paint himself later or tomorrow night.  He didn't have anything to do tomorrow and all the milking and things she did were automated in the barns.

"AHHHH!  XANDER, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, NOT MINE!" Evan shouted.

Owen snickered.  "Xander does love to spoil them so."  Dawn pushed his head back down.  It was nicely damp for him already.

***

Rodney watched how Evan was moving the next morning at breakfast, raising an eyebrow behind his coffee cup.  "Evan, are you sore?" he asked dryly.

Evan glared at him.  "Hell.  Yes," he said in an obviously sore throated way.

Rodney smirked.  "What *did* you do to him?"

Evan smirked.  "Nerds."

"Well, all smart people are wonderful in the bedroom.  We do have advanced focusing skills and all that," he said dryly.  Xander bounced in with a manic smile and got something to go, kissing Evan on his way past him.  "Oh, the candy version," he said.  Xander only bounced like that on sugar.   "Was it fun?"

Evan smirked and nodded, sitting down with a hiss.  "Ow."  Owen walked in and helped him up, taking him to the infirmary.  "Food, Doc?"

"Definitely.  I'll get it for you in a minute," Owen said dryly.  He put Evan on a medical bed, staring at the display that came up.  He stared.  Then at Evan.  "Was it fun?"  Evan smirked and nodded.  "I'll have to try that on Dawn."  He went to get him the breakfast and brought it to him.  Then he strolled out to pounce his woman.  Evan needed sleep more than anything.

Jack stopped Owen on his way out.  "What did he do?"

"Melted chocolate and nerds according to what I saw on the scan.  He missed a few."

Jack repeated that silently, looking at Ianto.  "I am not that wild," Ianto assured him.  Jack smirked at him for that.  "Is Evan living?"

"Needs a nap badly," Owen said.  He finished his walk to look at Dawn.  She was cooing at the calf that had been born last night.  "Is she fine?"

"She's just a sweet thing."  She smiled at him.  "There you go, sweetheart."  She let the calf go.  The medical scanner was showing she was perfectly healthy.  He helped her up, taking a deep kiss.  "Did they wake up?"

"Xander's giving off a demented cackle as he bounces off to do things.  Evan's asleep in the medical bay."  He took another kiss.  She purred, leaning into him.  One of the calves that was a bit older butted them to make Dawn pet his ears.  Then he wandered off.  "They're demanding," he teased.

"Very demanding."  She took another kiss.  "It's getting chilly."

"It is.  Xander will have to quit having naked days soon."

"Not if he's inside."

"True."  He walked her back to the next building, which was hydroponics for the cow feed.  They could cut some hay for them.  The cows got fed and wandered out to graze for a bit as well.  They liked that they had their own park area to graze in.

***

Rodney looked at Eterna.  "Do we have anything on the ships they traveled in?"

"I have their original ship in storage but it is not in good shape, Rodney.  Would you like to look at it?"

He smiled.  "Please."  He walked down to storage areas, following her directions.  He gasped when he saw it, walking over.  It was larger and in better condition than the one Xander had found in Pegasus.   He walked over to the opening, running a hand along the pitted metal walls.   He walked in and looked around.  They hadn't stripped it.  It had furniture, paintings, all that.  He called over the intercom.  "Radek!  I found a ship!"  He and Miko came running to look.  So did the Doctor, who was grinning madly.  They walked all over the ship, looking into every crevice and closet, staring at the star drives, until the muses bit them.  Rodney could integrate some of this with what he already knew.

This would revolutionize the SGC's ships.  He and Radek sat down to draft a new one.  Miko added in her helpful comments and it was good.  They started small, with a personal fighter craft.  Miko looked up.  "Eterna, do you still have working fabrication areas?"

She appeared.  "Of course.  That's how Xander got the new beams to fix my pretty lattice designs."  She smiled.  "Why?"  Rodney showed her the sketch of the ship.  "Ooh, a new one?"

Rodney smiled and nodded.  "Definitely.  I've built ships with Asgard, Ancient, and Gou'ald technology mixed together.  I can add what I'm learning now into these new ones and make it much better."  She smiled and showed him the design areas.

Radek looked at her.  "Tell Xander I will be late tonight."

"Of course.  He knows that you found the ship."  She went to tell Xander that.  "Xander, Radek said he will be late tonight.  Rodney is designing a new ship."

"Of course he will be," he said with a smile.  "That's what Radek loves to do.  Do we have anything like the puddle jumpers on Atlantis?"

"We have exploratory crafts that are on the moon.  They're only designed for orbital exploration really.  Basically to go from the moon to here and back."  She looked up.  "They are operational.  Should I bring one down?"

"Please.  John and Evan *love* to fly."  She smiled and called one of them.

John watched the ship land up the road from where he was picking the vegetables for dinner.  "Oh my god," he whispered.  He ran over to look it over.  "Eterna, can I fly this?"

"Yes, John.  Your ATA gene is strong enough."  Evan came limping out to look at the ship too.

"Back to bed," Owen called.

"I'll sleep later, Doc, thanks."  He looked over the ship.  John was already inside.  "Wait on me."  He climbed up with a wince.  "Sub orbital she said."

"Cool!"  He checked and integrated with the glider, taking it off.  It had wide wings, so it was meant to glide instead of racing like the X-302's the SGC used or the blunt nosed box that was the Jumpers on Atlantis.  It handled well.  Evan got to handle it some too.  They could use this easily.  When they landed, the three engineers were waiting impatiently.  They grinned.  "It's easy to handle, Rodney.  Even at your gene's strength."  Evan got helped out by Radek, who took a kiss then took his place.  He and Rodney got to look over everything.  Miko had to push to get her own way in.  This was definitely going to help them with their new ship designs.

***

Ianto looked at Jack that afternoon, giving him a smile.  "Are you going to help the Doctor celebrate his birthday?" he asked quietly.

"I was thinking about asking," he admitted.

"I know you two have a past and future relationship," Ianto said with a grin.  "I'm not jealous of that.  I know very well I can't compete with his place in your life."

Jack kissed him.  "You're just as important to me, Ianto."  He stared into his eyes, getting a smile back.  "You are."

"I know.  Go do something mind bending for him.  He deserves to celebrate now and then."

Jack smirked.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  He winked.  "Make it so good he'll remember with a goofy smile on his face like Evan has."  Jack walked off snickering.  He had some ideas that could be tried out.

***

Six weeks later, Eterna appeared.  "Xander, we will not be attacking the ships coming this way, correct?"

He stared at her.  "No, only if they notice us and try to attack, Eterna.  Guys, Ori sighted," he called over the intercom.  "Eterna, raise the shields at the highest level.  John, the chair is yours.  Evan, the other area is yours and Rodney's."  He went to his appointed spot.  If the Ori weren't scanning, they wouldn't stop.  If they did, they'd handle things.  He stepped onto his weapons platform, scanning over it.  It had good power supply, it had a working display.  Eterna's shield was good but not perfect.  They could tell they had power supplies running down here.  The last two ships of the Ori fleet slowed down overtop of them.

In the chair, John saw that and added more power to the shield.  They stopped.  "It's time," he called.  They tried to beam down but Rodney had calibrated the shields to block them.  They had to land outside the city.  Which was within range of Xander's weapons.  If they made one wrong move.... and they did so Xander blasted them.  It looked like an automatic blast but it wasn't.  They had planned this out.

Eterna appeared.  "Was that necessary?  They could be friendly."

"Read Rodney's mind on the Ori, Eterna.  They've killed whole planets that wouldn't agree to worship them.  They're the ones that drove the Lanteans from their home world."

She gasped.  "That's them?"  He nodded.   "No, they're not allowed here."  She went to help where she could.  Her makers had said they were the only enemy worth fighting.  The two ships up there blew up.  She smiled.  "Good.  They will not hurt us like they did my creators."  She disappeared again.

John nodded, watching to make sure the rest of the ships didn't come back to investigate.  They were too far away and clearly the destroyed ones hadn't sent out an SOS.  They relaxed that night, calming down from the short-lived battle.  Rodney had shared his memories about the Ori.  Eterna was not pleased with what they had become.   She was almost going militant about making them go away.  Rodney assured her that they knew Earth was protected.  If they had to, they could head back a bit early.  So she got to talk to the Doctor about temporal traveling as well.  It was a long day for everyone.

***

John looked at Xander, who was helping him pick things.  "Xander, when did you get the matching tattoos?"

"They're joining marks," he said with a slight smile.  "It's like a mystical marriage.  We did it the week before you guys got here."

"Oh.  Okay."  He looked at it.  "Can't be changed, right?"

"Well, if we all agreed, we could add another ring to link in another person but I'd never see it happen."

"That's good.  I'm glad with how good you've treated Evan and Radek."  Xander looked at him.  "They're friends," he said quietly.

Xander smiled.  "Thanks for the shovel talk, John."

"Welcome."  He got back to picking.  "Are we canning these?"

"Stasis preservation.  That way they're basically flash frozen."

"Wonderful."  They brought in their baskets and went back for more.  They weren't going to run out of food.  Xander had already made another trip to the off-world markets he liked to browse in.  They had things for the winter and spring until new things came up.  They could eat like kings every day and it was nice.  Even Rodney had calmed down and quit yelling for a while.  Even when Dawn had tripped and spilled the precious coffee on him, Rodney hadn't yelled.  He had actually laughed it off.

So yeah, being on Ever was good for them.  Even the Doctor had relaxed and started to smile at everything again.  Xander said he had been like that as a younger Doctor.  It was nice to see.  Plus Miko and Dawn were still running around in shorty shorts and tighter t-shirts.  They looked up from the picking when someone yelled.  "Miko?" he yelled.  He headed for her.

"The calf just tried to nurse!" she yelled.

John snickered.  "I'm sorry, Miko."  He gave her a hug.  "It obviously thinks you're sweet."  She hit him on the arm with a scowl.  He walked her off.  "Why are you taking care of the beasts?"

"We're picking one to slaughter for beef."

He nodded.  "Steaks for dinner?" he teased.

"Many steaks for many dinners."  Xander walked in with a knife.  "We could take out the young one that tried to nurse on me."

Xander gave her a hug.  "They think you're mommy material," he teased with a grin.  "But yeah, young beef is called veal."  She pointed at one older cow.  "I can do that.  Then Doc will butcher it for us.  He knows how."  He led it out to the slaughter shed.  The city had one already set up to drain the blood and all that.

Eterna appeared.  "Why do you have a knife, Xander?"

"To humanely and quickly kill this cow for food."

She rolled her eyes.  "We have functions for that."  She got him out of the room and sealed it.  A beam came out to kill the cow.  When the flash was gone, the cow was butchered into various cuts of meat.

"Wow," John said.

"Very wow," Xander agreed.  They carried them to the freezer and came back for the rest.  Then they went back to picking things.  It was a good harvest.  "We should celebrate."

"Make a cake," John said dryly.  He bounced off to do that. He and Miko shared a smile.  "At least Evan hasn't repeated the birthday present treat."

"No," she said with a blush.  "They have not been that loud in a while."

He snickered.  "Definitely."  Rodney came over to help, a little floating robot with him.  "What's that?"

"That does all this," Rodney said.  They got out of the way.  It beamed off all the ripe things and flew it to the kitchen to be put into stasis and frozen.  Then it came back to pick the other things in the other areas.

"We're so spoiled with those," Radek decided as he walked up to them.  "Xander said room did the butchering for them."

"We are very spoiled," John agreed happily.  "How are we on things like flour and basic staples?"

"We must clean out storage areas on Xander's tardis.  We have nine rooms full of things, some food and some not, that must be looked over."

"It'll be too cold to come outside in a few months, we can do that then," John said.

Radek nodded.  "That would work for me as well."   He looked around.  "Did you program the robot to keep little green lemons away from you?"

"Yes, I programmed it to keep it away from everything."  Rodney watched it work.  "We could have used those back in Pegasus."

"Definitely," John agreed.  They walked toward the main building.  "Radek, how is Xander going to get his naked sunning time in the winter?"

"He will be naked inside and put on clothes for outside.  He can sun in atrium of the fourth floor."

Rodney looked at him.  "What's there?"

"Database of people that have visited," Dawn said.

"Hmm."  They went to check on the others.  Things were settled in.  The Doctor and Xander had come back from their shopping trip to a marketplace.  They had clothes, basic supplies, and some things in paper packets.  "What's that?"

The Doctor smiled.  "Tea and other supplies."  He handed him a shirt.  "Xander said you hate cold."

"I spent over a year in Antarctica, I do hate cold," he agreed, looking it over.  "This is like desert gear."

"The people who make those are actually in an arctic climate," Xander said, looking inside his bag.  He tied it up and put it aside after marking on it.   "There's another six boxes that I have to float out."  Dawn bounced off to do that.  He smirked when she squealed.

"Ianto, you can feed our habits!" she called.  "They found *coffee*!"

"Thank you," Rodney said, hugging the Doctor.

"You're welcome."  He patted him on the back.  "Make sure that fits."  Rodney nodded, going to make sure the new clothes fit.  It was warmer than it looked.  Xander smirked at the Doctor.  "You did very good haggling."

Xander winked.  "The ex that ran the market was most pleased to see I was marked."

He took a quick kiss.  "You are happier than you were before."  He went to help Dawn.  Xander came to plant his winter plants.  It was good for them.  They weren't exactly bored but things were easier.  Especially without the Mountain causing problems or playing politics.

***

Back in their correct time, it was barely ten o'clock.  Jack O'Neill was being chewed on by the president.  "Sir, it doesn't really matter," he said finally to interrupt the chewing.  The man glared at him.  "Their contracts are out.  Including McKay's.  The only ones who had a current contract today are Miko and John.  They're entitled to days off as well."

"We need them here in case something happens!" he said firmly.

"I'm pretty sure that we can get Xander if something does happen, and there's stuff I can do too."  The man was still glaring.  "Beyond that, I don't think they'll be bringing this one back, sir.  Nila said that it's not a flying city."

"Where is it?"

"No stargate there."

"Why not!"

"Because the pacifists among the Ancients split off to hide and not fight anything," Jack said bluntly.  "I'm doubting she has weapons."

"When will they be back?" he demanded.

"Probably tomorrow as scheduled, sir.  They're not in this time zone."

The president slumped, glaring out the window now.  "How did they do that?"

"Well, the Doctor came to get John and that group.  Xander got himself there and then Radek and Evan went to calm him down because they apparently had a fight.  Something about him having problems or hiding how he could play politics but doesn't."  The president gave him an odd look.  "He did sleep with an Emperor of Rome, sir."

"Oh."  He blinked a few times.  "Huh.  Yeah, I'm betting he can do that."

"But he hates it and all other things that would get him notice," Jack reminded him.

"I still don't like the kid."

"I'm fairly certain that they can all settle wherever that city is, sir.  Major Lorne is out of the service unless he signs paperwork.  I have him listed as being on leave and the paperwork is in my desk but I haven't signed it yet.  Also, half of Atlantis needs rank raises."

"Whatever.  That's not my job."

"I know, but some will complain."

"Of course.  Someone always complains, O'Neill."

"Sir, like Xander, politics sucks dog dick to me," he said bluntly.

"With a few of the politicians in town...  Quite possibly," he admitted, cracking a smile.  "So we don't have a contract with them at this time?"

"No, sir, you blocked Xander's contract for over two weeks.  Major Lorne's ran out three days ago, Radek Zelenka's ran out the day before Xander's.  Rodney's ran out Monday.  John's commission is running out in three weeks I think if he doesn't reup."

The president grimaced but nodded.  "Can we claim this city?"

"Sir, Nila said she won't let any fighting happen.  She might not let soldiers on her city."

"Ask the boy and his gay trio when they come back then."

"I will be, sir, but we like Xander being happy.  He spent seventy centuries traveling and being miserable with boyfriends and girlfriends that used him."

"Poor sod, but he's still an ass."

"With the last president's problems?  Yeah, he did that so you didn't get any idea to do the same thing to him."

The president snorted.  "It'd never happen.  I'm not that desperate, General."  He stared at him.  "What's known about this new city?"

"All Nila knows is that they moved to the boundaries of this galaxy.  There's no stargate.  They decided before they left that a stargate would mean traveling and possibly running into a new enemy that they wouldn't want to fight."

"So, hippies built it," he decided.

"Basically, yes, sir."

"So probably not an asset for more than the geeks?"

"Probably not."

"Hmm.  Will the other cities want to join it?"

"No, sir.  Atlantis said that the ones who left to go there might've meant she wasn't abandoned.  They programmed her firmly not to accept anything from there on her city.  Nila feels better about it but a bit sad."  Nila appeared from the image projector he had carried over in his pocket.  It was weird seeing her form out of his pocket.  He put it on the desk with a smile.  "Hi, Nila."

"General."  She looked at the president.  "Do not task Xander and he will not react.  He told Radek he did that so you would know he was strong and not useable."

He waved a hand.  "Not a concern of mine."

"Good."  She smiled.  "He did have some very strange things in storage though.  It gave his boys much time to ask about it."  She looked at Jack again.  "Xander's phone was ringing and I answered it.  It was Jon looking for him.  He did not tell me why when I told him they had a fight and were off talking."

"That's fine, I'll talk to him in a few," Jack assured her.  He smiled.  "Did they mention anything about contracts?"

"Not that I am aware of.  If I see the Doctor, I will have him ask them."

"Thanks.  How far back are they?"

"He told Rodney five years.  That the city did not need much fixing and Ever was a beautiful thing."  She put up a picture.  "He showed my child pictures."

Jack stared at it.  "It's huge and pretty.  The black steel sticks out well."  He stared at the people in the picture.  "I see he borrowed the other time traveler."

"Yes, he did get some from Torchwood."

"Why?" the president asked.

"The Doctor traveled with Jack Harkness for a while," Jack told him.

"Oh.  Interesting.  I know he's gay too."

"Yes, in a committed relationship."  He pointed.  "That's Xander's little sister, Dawn Summers.  He basically adopted her when Joyce got sick."

"As in Buffy Summers?"

"Little sister of," Jack said.  "That's her boyfriend Owen, who is a doctor."

The president nodded.  "Interesting news.  Are they fine, Nila?"

"The last I heard they are.  They have not reappeared in a few hours."  She smiled.  "I'm sure they are fine.  Xander is powerful in a battle if he must be."

"Was that the reason for the fight?" Jack guessed.

"Some.  They wanted time to think and Xander got upset.  The Doctor snuggled with him for the night to talk since he had done something to help him out.  They came back the next morning and Xander walked off after a short fight.  They went with the Doctor to find and talk to him."

"Thank you," Jack said.  "If you see any of them, have them call me about their contracts as soon as they get back.  Tell them I've unscrewed what Landry did."

"Yes, sir."  She saluted with a smile and disappeared back into the image projector.  Jack put it back into his pocket.

"She's a very nice personality.  I wish my wife was that nice," the president said dryly.  "If you're keeping them, the new city is ours."

"Sir, it's not a flying city and by the scale of the buildings, it's miles wider than Atlantis."

"Oh."  He nodded at that.  "Well, then make sure we can at least go study it."

"With five years there, Rodney McKay and his team will come back with detailed schematics of everything and anything they find.  Especially if it doesn't need that much fixing.  Then we'd decide about that."

"Good.  Make it an outpost maybe?"

"Probably.  Anything else you wanted to manfully bitch about, sir?"

"No, O'Neill.  Go arrange things and see if you can save them.  Needless to say, Major Lorne, or however high you promote him, will have a waiver for Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

"Sir, the whole program should.  We're only a third American soldiers.  The scientists aren't corralled by it.  The foreign soldiers aren't either."

He considered it then nodded.  "I can see that argument.  I'll think about it."

"Thank you, sir."  He saluted and walked out to talk to the other thinktank's general.  That way he could deliver the video messages about any needs they had.

The president shook his head.  "We're being protected from bad aliens by gay time travelers.  My life is too strange.  I should retire because The Book frowns on that.  It might corrupt me from my path."

***

Back on Ever a few years back, Xander was dancing around looking at the snow.

"Someone ate way too much sugar again," John complained as he walked up behind him.  "Wow, it's really coming down."

"And I'm not invisible!" Xander said happily, smiling at him.

"Sunnydale story?" John guessed.  He nodded.  "No, you're not invisible."  He gave him a hug.  "Calm down."

Radek walked up and looked.  "I missed snow."

"After working on the outpost?" Rodney asked.

"Yes!"  He smirked.  "I am not like you, I like cold sometimes."  He took his mate to cuddle, watching out there.  "We will be buried soon.  Will need to shovel if little robots do not."

"The harvesting ones can melt the snow on the walkways and streets," Eterna said without appearing.

"Thank you," they all said.  There were underground pathways so they could check on the cows and other beasts or hydroponics.

"Rodney, can I help with the construction stuff this winter?" Xander asked.

"Perhaps."  He smirked.  "We'll see.  We're about to get into the wiring and interior building."  He walked them to look at their first ship.  It was large, beautiful, and black as well.  The local steel was harder than earth steel by about two hundred percent.  Rodney had mixed it with the usual metal they used for building ships and it was harder than anything they had ever used.  The manufacturing systems were wonderful.  It mixed the raw materials, formed the plates for them, all that.  Xander was hand forging a new axe and sword for himself out of it.  Eterna was very interested in that and sparring practice.  She watched it all like it was odd but fascinating.

John patted the side of his ship with a grin.  "Xander, how goes your forming?"

"It's going great.  I've got it folded over about a hundred times.  I've got it formed.  I'm working on the edges."  He took them to his little corner of the forming lab to show them. "Sharpening might be a pain but I think I can get it razor sharp and it'll keep the edge that sharp for a good, long time."

Radek ran a hand over the axe, smiling at it.  "Is beautiful, Xander."  Xander gave him a happy smile.  "Nearly as pretty as you are when you beat John into a pulp."

John laughed.  "It is beautiful."  He walked them back to the building, letting Eterna finish working on the ship for the day.  They could spar.  They used the main room for it usually.   The Doctor got popcorn he shared with Dawn.  Owen sat behind them to watch the prettiness in action.  Jack and Ianto watched with Miko, who sighed at the prettiness.  She even took a few pictures.  Radek just grinned at Evan, Xander, and John.  Two were his, he could be proud.  Rodney laughed each time John got knocked down so it was fun.

***

Dawn came back from the barn shaking.  "Damn spore plant," she said when Rodney stared at her.  He backed off carefully.  "I need my shot and my man."

"Owen," he called over the intercom.  "The spore plant went off into the barn, all over your girlfriend, who also needs her birth control shot."  Owen came jogging with the needle to stick her and led her off to their room.  Rodney went to the kitchen.  "Dawn's off for the next few days," he said dryly.

"Thank god she took the shot," Ianto said.

"I'm not ready for grandchildren yet either," Jack agreed, kissing him.  He saw someone else walk past and smiled. " Doc, did you get hit?"

"I need a shower."

Ianto and Jack shared a look and went to help him with that.  Not like he could handle being spored on his own.  It was a beautiful present for Ianto's birthday.

Rodney took over the kitchen.  He noticed the green lemons and shrugged.  It turned out that he wasn't allergic to them; they weren't citrus enough to set off his citrus allergy.  He could have lemon custard and lemon cheesecake and even lemon torte.  John loved to tease him about that oncoming addiction.  And that they were going to steal Ianto to feed Rodney's coffee habit when they got back.

***

John walked into dinner that night, newly showered.  He saw the empty seats.  "What happened?"

"The spore plant I put near the barn went off on Dawn and Doc while they were working on the new calves," Xander said with a grin.  "The cows are having a grand old time and the other beasts are just as happy so we'll have baby animals soon."

"Ah!"  He nodded, sitting down in his spot, taking the bowl Rodney handed him.  "Thanks, Rodney."

"Welcome, John.  Hand it to Miko and Radek since they didn't get lunch."  He handed it to them with a grin.  They took seconds as ordered.  Rodney ate a bit.  "I didn't do too badly."

"No, not in the least," Xander agreed.  "It's really good, Rodney."  Rodney grinned at him.  "No, I'm not sucking up for dessert."

"There's some ice cream left."  They all went to get some of that.  The homemade ice cream was wonderful.  Xander would make some more the next day for them all to be spoiled rotten with. They settled in to do the nightly talking in the library area.  Miko got down her book and they settled in for another night of peace and quiet.  It was a bit boring sometimes but they wouldn't trade it for anything.

9: A Week Of Reveals

John looked down from the bridge of his ship.  It was *his* ship.  Rodney had named it after him.  He was still smug about that.

"Quit smirking," Rodney complained from his seat.  "Or I'll rename it after Miko."

"Fine."  He turned on the comm system.  "Stargate Command, this is Colonel John Sheppard requesting I be joined by Colonel Ellis and General O'Neill."  He let the button go.  Rodney had made sure the whole ship could be run from the bridge in the least complicated way possible.

"Sheppard, is that you in that ship?" Ellis demanded.

"Yes, Colonel Ellis," he said dryly.  "Beam on over.  Our shields are down for you and O'Neill."

"I'm coming.  Give me ten to get him.  Ellis out."  He hung up.  He sounded a bit grumpy so this was going to be a pleasant showing off.

John hung up and settled himself into the command chair.  It was like the chair at Ever.  It had a backup, independent power supply in case something happened to the main one.  Two bright lights appeared in front of him.  "Welcome to the John Sheppard," he greeted with a grin.

"Ever had ships?" Jack asked casually.

"No, I built them," Rodney said, staring at him.  "She's the finest blend I've made so far."

"Them?" Ellis demanded.

John smirked and nodded.  "There's two more back on Ever's planet waiting to launch."  He got up.  "This is, of course, the bridge area.  It's set up for a minimal crew to run it.  A lot of the functions can be monitored and worked on from the chair."  He let Jack sit in it.  It tipped, hummed a bit as it accepted him.  "You have to individually code each person into it.  We coded O'Neill so he can try it out."

Ellis stared at him.  "How did this ship get built since you were on Atlantis yesterday, Sheppard?  And what is Ever?"

"Ever is the city the pacifist Ancients built for themselves so they could hide," Rodney said, closing his laptop to look at him.  "She's a beautiful city."

"Let me guess, Harris found her?" Ellis said dryly.

"Yup," John agreed.  "And he's not in contract either," he said smugly.

"Is there a gate there?" Jack asked as he sat up.  He stood up, looking at them.  "I'm damn impressed, Rodney.  The weapons are listed as inactive?"

"Eterna does not like fighting on her.  She allows the weapons in case we're attacked but for no other reason," John said.  "Including the ones we built on the city for her."

"I understand that," Jack said.  He looked at him.  "Where are they?  And you're about to need to reup too, Sheppard."

"We'll see, sir.  I'm thinking."

"I know I need to," Rodney assured him.  "Which means the trio does as well?"  Jack nodded.  Rodney smirked.  "Well, I suppose Xander can claim Ever's planet for his own then."

"Stargate?"

"No.  They didn't want one.  It might bring stress and danger that they'd have to hide from," Rodney said.  He pointed.  "Miko, what are you studying?"

"The Colonel's ship is leaking a fluid; I'm hacking her shields to stop it," she said absently.  "I have not had to hack in a while so I'm not as fast."

Ellis called over to have them find it and stop it.  "Thank you, Doctor."  He looked at them.  "Anything else you guys want to stun us with?"

"Lighten up, Ellis.  Sheppard and all the Atlantis people took a day off to go make us this pretty new, powerful ship.  How long did it take you to get here?"

"Half a day," Rodney said.  Ellis gaped.  Rodney smirked.  "We have a new atmospheric and sub-light year ship as well."  He walked him down to the flight deck.  "The one with the wide wings was her native ones for moon trips.  It's not meant to go far outside the atmosphere.  That one does not fully work.  Why give them such a great gift and expect them to understand it without working for it?"  He walked over to one, patting it.  "This is Major Lorne's new fighter jet and this one is Colonel Sheppard's version of the X-302."  He pointed at the last one.  "Xander won that in a poker game on a marketplace against one of his ex's.  He said the stuff inside is still his but we can all study it."

Ellis moaned.  "Wow."  He came to look at them.  "Like the jumpers, McKay?"

"Yes."  He looked at Jack.  "We'll talk about my recompense for all this wonder."

"Yes we will," Jack assured him, clapping him on the back.  "Thank you, boys.  Anything I should hear?"

"Xander's created a doorway to Ever," John said.  "The three joined before the Doctor came to get us."

"Joined?  Like...married?" Jack asked.

"Complete with mystical tattoos and fantastic sex," Rodney said with a smirk.  "It was quite heartening."

John nodded.  "It was."  He grinned.  "We got so relaxed, Rodney didn't even yell at people."

"Wow."  He looked at the ships again.  "I want to test pilot them, Sheppard."

"Yes, sir.  We can do that later."  John smirked.  "You can see why we called for you instead of Landry."

"I've noticed he's gotten fairly political recently," he said quietly.

"Oh, more than.  He kept Xander off Nila while they were working out his contract," Rodney said with an evil smirk.  "It gave him time to go through his things."

"I heard that part from Nila.  We thought it was the president."

"No, not hardly," John said.  He leaned against the glider.  "We'd prefer not to turn these over to General Landry, sir.  We trust you implicitly, but Landry was Area 51.  He's never been through the gate.  He's never been in a battle that I know about."

O'Neill nodded.  "UNIT will want to look at them too.  They have our other ones.  I saw a picture that had Harkness?"

"The Doctor took them home."

"Wonderful."  He smiled.  He looked at Rodney's shirt.  "What did you spill on yourself?"

He looked then scratched at the spot on his shirt.  "The Doctor's new son threw up on me for my gentle cradling when he had a nightmare," he said dryly.

"Did he adopt?" Jack guessed.

"No, Xander has a quilt that will get anyone pregnant," John said dryly, grinning again.  "His last birthday present of Jack and Ianto.... well, he's adorable.  Hardly ever fusses and thinks Xander's the best thing in the universe since Dawn lactating to feed him for the Doctor."  He pulled out his phone to show him a picture.  "That's the little future Doctor."

Jack smiled.  "He's adorable."

"He's horrible," Rodney corrected.  "He sees me and gets sick."

"How did Harris make a quilt that got men pregnant?" Ellis asked.

"Magic," all three said in unison.

"Though there is still that machine on Atlantis," Rodney offered.  Ellis shook his head quickly.  He looked at Jack.  "We had a wonderful vacation, sir."

"Plans?"

"Full of the whole city.  Plus beer."  He called.  "Miko, send us a beer each please?"  They appeared in a flash of light.  "Thank you."  He hung up and handed them out.  "We made this from the native grains there.  They had something that equated to hops."

Jack sniffed it then drank some, nodding.  "Bit sweet," he admitted.  "No aftertaste from the hops.  Damn good though."

Ellis sipped and nodded.  "A bit like mead but beer.  Interesting."  He walked off sipping.  "Let's see the rest of this, McKay.  How many staff is it meant for?"

"A-hundred-sixty," he said, following him.

John looked at Jack.  "We're deadly worried about what Landry might want to use us for, sir," he said quietly.  "Especially Xander."

"I agree," he assured him.   "I'll work on it.  Would you guys give it to UNIT?"

"Probably.  We have to retrieve the other two."

"Can we use the doorway at Xander's and fly them back?"

"Yeah.  You'll need someone to play engineer and a flight officer at the least."

"I can do that.  Give Jon the other one."  He patted him on the shoulder.  "You look better and happier."

"I am.  Even if there wasn't any women outside of Miko and Dawn there."  He shrugged. "Half the time we ran around naked, we played in the sun.  Ever has some bad winter storms and a few tornados a year but it's a full city."  They walked off together, him turning off the lights.  "We worked well together."

"Good."  He finished his beer, tossing it into a hole with a trash symbol on it.  He saw the light and looked down inside.  "Recycling?"

"Yeah, Xander worked out a Star Trek like replication system."  He rolled his eyes.  "You can't make food but you can make simple things like pens, paper, that stuff so far."

"That's something we'd like to reward him for."  They walked in, finding Ellis looking over the cafeteria and kitchen.  "How much did you guys leave there?"

"The whole herd of cows minus three cows and a male calf," Rodney said.  "We have sixty cows left?" he asked John, who nodded.  "Plus the other meat and milk beasts Xander found off-world at markets."

"How did you get cows?"

"They're not human cows but they are cows.  It looks like a gou'ald took them and it spread to another place's market, sir," John said.

"Interesting.  They any good?"  Rodney got into the freezer and tossed over a steak.  It was shrink wrapped, frozen, and looked fresh.  "How long ago?"

"Ever has a stasis based freezer system.  Anything picked or butchered was frozen immediately.  That was done before we left."

Jack nodded, putting it into his pocket for now.  "I'll have it with one of the new beers later," he joked.

Ellis held his earpiece.  "Belay that, Lieutenant.  General O'Neill and I are both over here.  This is Sheppard, McKay, and Kusangi returning.  Yes, you can tell UNIT.  No, Landry can't come aboard yet.  O'Neill said so."  He looked at him, getting a nod.  "Because they're showing off and O'Neill is negotiating for them to give them to us," he said dryly.  "Yup, exactly, Lieutenant.  Yes, I'm here.  Kitchen actually."  He hung up and they walked on.  Looking in rooms, the gym, all that.  They made it back to the bridge and found a frozen person in a beam.  "Tried to beam in without permission?" he guessed.  Miko looked up and nodded.  "Is our leak fixed, Doctor?"

"Quite.  I am watching BBC News."

Jack looked at him.  "Hank, next time, take orders," Jack told him.  "Unfreeze him please."  General Landry was unfrozen.  "Thank you, Miko.  Very nice work."

"It's automatic, sir."

"Even better."  He looked at his minion with a smile.  "Welcome to the John Sheppard."

"How did they do this?"

"Ever had their ship still there," Rodney said.  "We learned much from it."  He smirked.  "We're in negotiations for what we want to hand her and her sisters over."

"You're under contract," Landry said.

"Not unless you forged my signature.  Mine ran out a week before Xander's did."

Landry groaned.  "Damn it."

"Basically," Jack agreed.  "By the way, they're back too."   He looked at the three Atlantians, smirking at them.  "Want to see the President?"

"Hell no," John said.  "I hate politics."

"Ditto," Miko said from her seat.

"Definitely seconded," McKay said.  "Only John is American really.  Among all the settlers there, only he and Evan are American."  John looked at him.  "Dawn's only half and Harkness isn't fully American, I think he took Welsh or UK citizenship papers."

"Good point," Jack agreed.  He looked at John.  "UNIT?"

"They'll need to be read into the space ship part too, sir."

"Granted.  Miko, can you beam the head of UNIT and Martha Jones up here?"

She turned to the ship's computer, putting that in.  "General Thorne and Martha Jones," she said, finding them and beaming them aboard.

"Welcome to the John Sheppard," Rodney said with an evil smirk.

Martha looked around then at him.  "This is bloody brilliant, Doctor McKay."  John showed her the picture.  "Aww, you have a son?"

"No, he's Doc's son."  She stared at him.  "Xander has a special quilt that can make anyone who has sex on it pregnant."  She cackled, punching him on the arm.  "He's a sweet baby who pukes on Rodney."

"Aww."  She smiled at him.  "They do the same thing to me."

"Dawn started to lactate for some reason so he got fed properly."

"Even more cute," she promised with a smile.

"General Thorne," Jack said with a nod.

"General O'Neill, Landry."  He nodded back.  "Does this new one mean we can bum one of the older ships?"

"We're going to be talking about that," Jack said.  The other general smirked back.  "Come see."  He walked them off to show them around.

Ellis sighed, holding his comm earpiece.  "Lieutenant, what is so pressing?"  He listened.  "Let me check.  O'Neill, the president wants up."

"No," John said.  "His guards will freak out.  They don't like him in space."

"He's a political asskisser who hates Xander for finding he was snaked," Rodney said bluntly.

"So the kid showed his ass like usual and the president hated it because Harris treated him like the last guy?" Ellis guessed.  They nodded.  "Huh.  Yeah, he can come later, after we take custody of her."

"If," Rodney reminded him.

Ellis stared at him.  "You've been SG for a long time."

"Yes, but I do have my desires."

"I heard.  I agree."  He shrugged.  "I don't want it."

"Ditto," John said.  Miko shuddered.  He grinned at her.  "I'd never move off Atlantis, Miko.  You know that."

"I know."  The generals came back.  "The president wanted up but we told him no because we are in space."

"Good," Jack agreed.  He looked at the two from UNIT, who were grinning.  "I'm sure he'll visit soon."

"Probably, yeah."  She looked around.  "Can I go back to my office to think about space smut while nagging for baby pictures, Miko?"

"Of course, Doctor Jones."  She sent her back.  She smiled.  "Sirs?"

"In a minute," Jack ordered.  He looked at Landry.  "We have to negotiate so I'll tell you later on how it's going."

"Why?" Landry asked.  "He clearly is going to give it to us."

Rodney snorted.  "No, I can keep it for my own.  There's no law saying I can't own my own space battle cruiser."

Landry stared at him.  "Are you planning on resigning?"

"I don't know yet.  That depends on what my next contract might say.  The same as the rest of ours would."  He smiled and sent him back to his office to swear in peace.  "I won't gouge the budget too badly," he told Jack.

Ellis chuckled.  "I'm sure you won't, McKay.  The other two?"

"I'll get one and the mini me will get the other," Jack told him with a smile.  "Let's go back down, kids.  Atlantis will allow you back."  They all nodded and went to DC to talk about things.  The president was huffy but admired their balls for their short list of demands.  He could agree with some of them.  Even if it would weaken his hold over the SGC.  There was always the budget.

***

Xander looked up from his cooking when Jack walked into the house through the Atlantis doorway.  "Hey, Jack.  Guys, O'Neill is here," he called.  They came out of the bedroom to greet him.

Jack smiled.  "You all look tanned, fit, and comfortable."  He shook their hands.  "I have new contracts, as discussed by McKay.  He put us over a barrel.  Evan, you're getting a rank raise to Colonel.  Sheppard got one as well."  He handed over that paperwork.  "We'll do it in front of your city in a few days."

"Thank you, sir."

"You did a good job and we should've when you got back, Lorne."  He clapped him on the arm.  "Doctor Zelenka, your designs blew us all away.  Rodney gave you full credit for your ideas and some flack for some coding he hated but otherwise the full credit you deserve.  In your contract is recompense for the ships.  The city is not an SG asset."  Xander smirked.  "But... we do want to send a few people to study it."

"We'll see," Xander said.

"Thanks, kid.  You can decide who."

Xander smirked.  "I know."  He flipped the steaks.  "Want me to put yours on here?"

"Please."  He let Xander take his still cold but now unfrozen steak to put on the grill.  He petted the dragons.  "How did you do without him?"

"We had him," Xander assured him.  "And Mira.  They curled up all the time.  They romped in the snow.  They played with the cows.  They occasionally made Dawn mad by eating a calf on her.  We had a great time."

"Even better.  Colonel, please show us our new ships?"

"Sure.  Are you flying both, sir?"

"No.  Jon!" he called.

"Chill already," he said dryly as he walked in.  Faith was behind him.  "I had to wake her up."  He handed her to Xander, who hugged her.  "So, these new ships?"

"Seven new ships," Evan corrected.  "Three battle space cruisers.  Then some lighter atmospheric and sub-light year ones.  Plus one Xander won in a poker game."

"That's still his property, we're just borrowing it for study," Jack told them, getting grins back.

"Killer."  He let them lead them through the doorway.  "Wow."

Xander grinned.  "Ever."  She looked and sighed in pleasure.  He grinned.  "I ran around so naked most of the time."  He flipped Jack's steak, sending it and a beer to him when it was done.  "I even made you and Buffy presents."

"I love presents," Faith said.

"Go get Buffy.  I'll hand them over."  She used Dawn's doorway to get Buffy summoned.  She saw the Doctor sitting there and 'aww'd then shuddered.  "Scary things, Doc."

"Quite, but he's a dream most of the time when he's not vomiting on Rodney."  Martha walked in and Dawn walked in with Buffy.  "There you are.  I missed you at your office.  Mickey was most upset that I had a child without warning anyone."

"You are more adorable than in John's picture, little man."  She sat down to cuddle him.  He sighed in pleasure as he snuggled into her chest.  "Such a little dream.  I almost want one myself."

"Labor does hurt," he warned.  "Dreadfully so.  Even when Owen cuts it out of you."

Owen shrugged.  "You almost had a full birth canal growing, Doctor.  Ever was helping you compensate."

"Good point.  That would've hurt more I suppose.  Plus made Jack drool."  They all laughed, including Jack.  They had made peace with everything that had happened between them.  They were now like he had with Xander.  It was comforting.  "You know, this means I'll have to settle down a bit.  Not fully of course, but no more radiation or novas.  No more things that can get the Tardis destroyed."  He stared at him.  "More diapers in the Tardis as well.  I'll have to up the air filtration for the smell."  Martha smiled and nodded.  "By the way, he's making that face again."  He handed her a diaper and cloth to clean him.

"Fine, I can change diapers.  They taught us in medical school."

"I learned how by ducking the pee missile," Dawn quipped.  Martha laughed but she could change little boys.  She smiled at her father and stepfather.  They had done the same sort of joining the trio had.  Jack was looking a bit shaky and pukey again.  She looked at Owen, glancing at Jack when she caught his eye.

"Yes, you're having a sibling," Owen assured her dryly.  "We think a girl."

Dawn squealed and hugged him.

"Wow," Buffy said.  "And here I need a new boyfriend."  They all snickered at that.  "What did Xander want?"

"Presents," Dawn said.

Buffy grinned and walked through the doorway.  Faith was already in there.  "Hey."

Xander hugged her.  "I made you something."

"What did you make me?"

He pulled out the two boxes, letting them see them.  "There's one for each of you."

Faith opened the bigger one.  She gasped, pulling out the axe.  It was lighter than she expected.  "Oh, wow, boytoy.  This is wonderful."  She stepped back and gave it a practice swing, nodding she liked it.  She checked the edge.  It was sharp enough to split her skin without hurting.  "Damn."

Buffy took out her sword, sniffling.  "I love it."  She hugged Xander.  "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," he said with a smile.  "They should keep that edge until about a century from now if you're chopping bricks with it every day.  If not, we'll have to laser sharpen it."

Buffy hugged her sword, looking at the axe.  She let Faith switch with her to look it over.  "Why black?"

"The local steel was black steel," he said.  "It's a really hearty, strong steel."

She switched back.  "Thanks, Xander."  She went to show it to Dawn.  "Look what Xander made me."

"That's very sharp," the Doctor warned.  "Away from my son please, Buffy."

She looked and moved away.  "I wouldn't want to hurt the baby even if he peed on me because I know babies can't really control that."  She let Dawn see it.

"He did manage to get the finest, micro edge on it," she decided, handing it back with a smile.  "He forged it without a shirt on most of the time too."  Buffy stared at her.  "We had a vacation on another mystical city."

"Oh.  Okay."  She smiled.  "Can you send me so I can brag to Mom and Giles?"  Dawn sent her home.  "Mom, look what Xander made for me," she called, finding her in the kitchen.  Joyce smiled at it.  "It's really sharp.  Faith got an axe."

Xander smirked at Faith.  "Ronon worked with me on my style.  He can help you with yours."

She hugged him and walked off.  The dragons were fawning over Ronon, they had missed him, so she sat beside him.  "X made it for me."

He looked it over.  "It's very sharp.  Lighter than I expected."  He handed it back.  "We will work on training you to it tomorrow."  He smiled and petted the little beast who loved his hair.  Then the two dragons.

***

Miko walked down to the cryo chambers, smiling at Carson's clone.  "I do miss you, Carson.  You would have made this last visit a lot more fun if you had been here."  She touched his chamber.  "You might have even calmed Xander down."  She checked the readings and went back to her room.  Atlantis was ignoring her right now.  She uploaded pictures onto her personal computer, making the AI of the city happier.  "Atlantis."  She appeared.  "Ever sent you a data burst."

"I have not decoded it yet," she admitted.  "I am still mad at them and her."

"What they did wasn't anything to do with her," Miko said.  "They built her after they got there.  She didn't even want to have weapons in case the Ori showed up.  Though she was programmed to defeat the Ori if they showed up."

"Really?"

"Really.  They built her after they left the others.  She had nothing to do with that."

Atlantis smiled and nodded.  "I will decode it.  She must be lonely but Xander was probably very nice to her."

"He taught her much, including about sparring practice."

"Not many would remain totally peaceful after watching them spar," she agreed.  "Even I felt more militant and I do not have lust."  She disappeared to read it over in private.  Nila showed up to help her but she was soothed in a large way by that.  That and that Xander was back with them.

***

O'Neill landed his ship on Atlantis' dock, as planned.  He was a day late because he had taken the extra time to fly the new lighter ships before landing.  He and the two he had with him stepped off happy and content.  "Atlantis."  She appeared.  "This is the Jon O'Neill.  The other coming in is the Radek Zelenka."

She squealed.  "They named a ship after Radek?"

"Xander turned it down."  She smiled at that.  "Watch them for me?"

"I can do so.  May I scan her?"

"Yes you may."

She scanned the new ship and the one coming in.  "That's much different than the ones that used to see us in Pegasus."

"Rodney's new design with the new stuff they found in the other city."

"Wonderful.  She will do very good against the wraith, General."  She looked up.  "The president is looking for you."

"Beam him here if he's not busy."  She went to ask him that and brought him back with her.  "Sir," he said, saluting.  "Sorry, I was detained testing out the new ships."

"I saw that wallet sucking notice, O'Neill."  He looked behind him, gaping.  "Is that one?"

"This is one of the new smaller battle cruisers.  Rodney McKay will soak us for more if we want plans for a larger one.  She'll have a crew complement of about a hundred-fifty."

"Interesting.  Show me around?"  He nodded and let him inside to show him everything.  While on the tour he looked at him.  "I like Landry there."

"Your geeks don't because he's been playing with the contracts and staffing."

"Hmm."

"That used to get us a lot of hires from Area 51, sir.  They didn't want to deal with him.  He's back in dictator mode."

"I understand why.  Area 51 could really use him back."  Jack smiled.  "Who would get it?"

"Ellis and Sheppard both declined.  I would suggest McMahon's new protege of doom.  He was actually one of us very early on and left."

"Huh.  We'll see."  He looked around the gym area.  "This is nice."

"You have to keep up muscle mass in space.  Even with artificial gravity."

"Interesting."  They looked in a crewman room then back to the bridge.  "How fast is she?"

"I got from near the supergate to here in under a day, sir."

"Wonderful.  That's worth the wallet pain.  I heard the others got their contract redone by McKay as well?"

"He does drive a hard bargain and he does look out for the project.  He's been with us for a long time.  He's another one that left Area 51 to get away from Landry."

"I see."  He nodded.  "Fine, I'll nominate that other general."  Jack smiled.  "Anything else that I should hear?"

"They did ask to make sure that you don't have a new snake, sir."

"No!  I'm not snaked!"

"Fine.  Just checking."  The president sneered at him.  Jack smirked back.  "Yeah, we know you've turned Ori, sir.  It's pretty clear to all of us."

"How...."

Jack snickered.  "Sir, do you think we haven't fought without learning something of their ways or decorating schemes?"  The two Secret Service guards with them stiffened.  "Guys, he's an Ori."  They took him off to the main base to see what that meant exactly.  Jack went back to DC to talk to his nominee for the SG head.   He leaned into the office.  "Tag, you're it."  He smirked evilly.  "Landry's going back to Area 51."  He walked off again.

General McMahon looked at his junior general and shrugged.  "I have no idea."

"I think I do, sir, and I'll miss you when I'm in Colorado."

"Watch out for my people from Eureka."

"I will, sir."  He saluted and went to see if it was a done deal or not.  Jack had already told the vice president what was going on.  So yes, he had a new posting.

***

Jack smiled at the people who were gathered for new rank and medals day.  The ones from Atlantis had already been done but Sheppard got a medal there and a rank raise during this one.  Nila's team was there as well.  Jack smiled at the man in front of him.  "To make a major announcement now that all the new higher ups are swearing at me," he said, getting a few laughs.  John had silently sworn at him.   He could see it on his face.  "We're doing some admin shuffling.  General Landry is being sent back to Area 51 as of today."  A few cheered and a few clapped politely.  "In his place, it's not me."

"Thank you, God I Don't Believe In," Rodney said to the ceiling of the gate room.  A few more people laughed at that.

"Funny, McKay."  He looked around and waved someone out.  "Some of you old timers know your newly promoted general.  He's been a general now about six months."  He smirked at him.  Then at the group.  "For those who don't know, Louis Ferretti used to run SG-2 wayyyy back when I was still a newbie to gate travel."  That got a lot of clapping.  "It's all yours, Ferretti.  Have fun with it and protect us all."

"I'll do my best, sir."  He saluted him, getting one back.  He looked around.  "I don't want to change much but if some people aren't happy with their placements, let me know.  Also, I've had more geek times recently.  That thinktank that's helping on Nila?  I've been working with their overseeing general.  They have *nothing* on the insanity here but they do like to cause emergencies."  He smiled.  "Thank you for being more sane, people."

Most of them laughed at that.  "Sheppard, I believe you have a city that will pout at me if you don't properly introduce me.  Mitchell, I believe you have the other.  I want to meet them later today if possible."  They both put down image projectors, which brought the AI's.  "Ladies," he said with a smile and a nod.  "I'm General Louis Ferretti.  The SGC is now mine.  I hope we can form a good working relationship.  I was one of those unpretty grunts way back when we started."

Atlantis smiled.  "I have seen your records, General.  You do not do too badly."

"My geeks have talked about you," Nila agreed with a smile.  "You should meet Xander."

"I'll meet Xander later when I bring out his contract."  They smiled and disappeared.   "Mitchell, I don't need a tour.  I'll come do that when it's a calm day.  Sheppard, same to you and I want to look at the new ships if I can."

"Of course, sir.  They're yours now."

"Yeah, the new president was impressed and awed.  He said it was worth the wallet hit."  He grinned.  Then at the others.  "For now, it's business as usual.  Go make us friends, enemies, and try not to start any wars like O'Neill did, people."  They walked off talking.  He looked at Jack.  "I'm gonna screw this up."

"So did I but we still saved the world."  He clapped him on the back with a smile.  "Where is Harris, Sheppard?"

"Hiding from the medals," Cam said dryly.  "He's presently at home, in the huge ass tub, with bubbles, his dragon, and reading something smutty.  That way he'd horrify anyone who beamed him out for one reason or another, sir."

"Him appearing naked, bubble covered, and hard would probably shock most everyone, yeah," Jack decided.  He smiled.  "You'll like Xander.  He's a good guy.  He doesn't want attention.  He won't put up with shit.  If you're doing something wrong, he'll tell you.  He tends to handle problems and then tell you that they existed.  He's the one who did the Trust's board, as I found out the next day."

"Excellent.  He sounds like a relative of yours."

"Not quite but I'd gladly claim the kid.  Let's go to Nila."  They disappeared.  Sheppard and McKay went to get treats off the base shop.  They were lacking sweets again on Atlantis.  She had locked them up to ground them for worrying her.

They landed and Ferretti looked around, nodding.  "This is sweet.  Compact, the new docking area looks nicely constructed.  The atoll looks like a good place to relax."

"All but a few tentacle plants a jealous botanist threw out there," Cam told him.  "And the vegetable garden half of Botany hates to deal with."

"Even better.  I can feed politicians to the tentacles."  He walked on, looking around.  "Damn, the rooms are small," he said when they walked into Xander's.

"Yes, sir, they said they're building us some new ones off the city."

"Even better."  He shut the door once they had squeezed out of the way and Cam took his hand to get him through the house.  "This is nice," he said, looking around.  Two bubble covered little forms ran out.  "What're you?"

"The one on the right is Mira, McKay's pet dragon.  The other is Armand, he's Xander's pet dragon."  He petted them both. "This is the new general, guys.  General Ferretti."  They sniffed and nosed up at him then ran off to the garden.  "No, we don't need rhubarb.  We just need Xander for a minute then he can go back to reading in the tub."  They ran back in and went back to playing with the bubbles.  He smiled.  "Xander's had Armand for a very long time, sir."

"Pets can be good."  Xander came out tying his robe.  "Mr. Harris.  General Ferretti, the new guy in charge of the madness in Colorado."

Xander smiled and shook his hand.  "Daniel told me about you, General."

"I did always like Daniel."  He smiled and pulled out an envelope.  "I believe I have your contract here with the ones for your boyfriends."

"We're joined now," he said quietly, staring at him.

"Hey, marriage is good for a soul.  Means you're not alone if you chose well," he said with a smile.  Xander relaxed at that.  He let him see his contract.  Radek and Evan didn't come when he called so he saw the boy sigh and stomp back to Nila.

"People, you're annoying the hell out of me and taking me from my time in the tub!" he bellowed.  "Do not make me put on clothes!"  The fighting geeks stopped.  "Thank you!"  He looked at Cam since he had followed him.  "Guys, the new general brought our contracts?"  They followed, looking smug.  He grinned at the general, who was petting Mira.  "Aww, you decided to stop playing in the tub, Mira?"

"I think she had an itchy spot," Ferretti said.  He handed over the contracts.

They read them over and signed.  "Thank you," Xander said quietly.

"Kid, I hate politics more than most.  I saw it nearly destroy all of us a few times.  I won't be playing that game here.  I know how important the work you all do is, including about your other part-time job."  He winked and took them back.  "Thanks, guys.  Have a good day geek wrangling.  Watch out for them causing problems.  They sure as hell do in Eureka."  He stood up.  "Harris, what do you need on the city?"

"A few bigger work areas and bigger rooms?"

"I saw the rooms.  We'll fix that when we can.  Work areas?"

"Anyone that doesn't work in one of the labs basically has a boardroom sized space," Evan said.  "Linguists have stuffed theirs full and Xander's office too, sir."

"Just like Jackson did to his office."  He nodded.  "We'll look into expanding the dock then."  He smiled and left, being beamed back to the mountain so he could check out his office.  "Walter, still here I see."

"Yes, sir.  Probably until the day I die dialing the gate."

Ferretti looked at him.  "Make sure it doesn't happen soon, Walter.  We all know how important you are around here."  He went into his office, seeing a pretty brunette woman waiting on him.  "Which one of my geeks are you, miss?"

She smirked.  "I'm Doctor Carolyn Lam.  Head doctor."

"Ah.  You're Hank's daughter."  He stared at her.  "I got told after he got moved."

"Why did he get moved?"

"He decided to play some politics and try to offer a few of you geeks to some other programs for a bit.  Including Harris.  He was going to force him with his new contract."

"Oh."  She nodded.  "My father can be a hardass.  He didn't ever really understand Xander."

"I know plenty of guys like Xander and Jack O'Neill."  She smiled at him.  "I need a list of anything you need updated or fixed."

"I want to look at the new city's medical bays."

"What new city?"

"Xander found another city of the Ancients but it's land-bound and it's nowhere near here.  No gate."

"Why no gate?"

"They were peaceful.  Totally peaceful.  That's why they split off."

He considered that.  "Do we control the city?"

"No, I think Xander does with Sheppard, McKay, Xander's boyfriends, and possibly some people from Torchwood," she said dryly.

"I don't care if he's got boyfriends or girlfriends, Doctor.  I think that's a stupid rule."  She smiled at that.  "I'm happy for them if they are as long as no drama gets spread.  We have too much with all the threats."

"Agreed.  They tend to fight at home so it doesn't spread."

"Even better."  He smiled.  "Ask him.  Tell me how long you'll be gone for, make sure you have someone to cover for you."

"Thank you, General."

"Call me Ferretti.  You'll probably want to swear at me sometime," he quipped.  She smirked and nodded, leaving him alone.  He sat down, getting comfortable.  Walter had given him a brand new chair.  It was so nice of him.  Yeah, he could handle this assignment. As long as Fargo stayed in Eureka.

***

Xander came out for dinner that night, running into a few pissed off looking geeks.  "What?"

"You were off today?" one asked.

"My contract wasn't active until Ferretti got here earlier."

"Oh."  They nodded.  "So that's why you've been gone."  Xander nodded back, smiling some.  He picked up Armand to pet him.  "Botany is becoming a monster."

"I'll check with Botany later."

She appeared.  "You will not because you were on that other city."

Xander stared at her.  "Yes, I was.  We built new ships, found you some new samples, all that."

She pouted.  "We're not allowed to like that city."

"I don't care if you do or not, Botany.  I like that city.  The same as I like this city and you."  She slumped.  "I'm not going to give up Eterna totally."

"But..."  She pouted at him.  "We're just as pretty and we have weapons.  The ones who left said they wouldn't."

"There's a few that we made because some Ori are close.  Just because she's pacifist doesn't make her bad.  She's been alone a long time, just like you and Nila were."

"I understand but the programming says I should not like you anymore."

"Have Rodney fix that for you."  She smiled and went to talk to him.  Xander smirked at them.  "Other problems?"

"The military guys won't let us play the shooter games until we qualify on the range?"

"I'll ask Evan and Cam."  They beamed at him and wandered off.  "Things are back to normal," he told them.  "Starting today."

"Yes, Xander."

Xander walked into the mess, looking around.  "Yes, we finally got new contracts," he said smugly.  He got food and sat down near Radek.  He was surrounded by geeks who wanted to talk about the new city.  They shared a look.  "Guarded," he said.

Radek nodded.  "We can do so.  Rodney would love to brag."  He looked at them.  "I will arrange for a guarded tour of the new city.  Though we made plans of everything there."  They went to call Rodney to look those over.  He smiled, shifting down to pet Armand and his boy.  "How was your time in the tub?"

"Pretty good.  They played all afternoon in the bubbles for me.  Let me nap and read."  He grinned, eating a bite.  "You can really taste the difference between the fresh cow and this cow."  He looked down.  "Is that liver?"

"Yes," Radek huffed.   "All of us from Atlantis have protested."

"At least it's not pseudo liver," Cam said as he sat down.  "I heard that was disgusting."

They both nodded.  "Very," Xander told him.  "Jon held the ship hostage to get no more liver."  He ate it anyway, he was hungry.  "How's Atlantis doing?  She hasn't shown up today."

"She's fine," Cam assured him. "Got pictures of the new city?"  Radek handed over his computer, he had film.  Cam watched it, head tipped slightly to the side.  "Wow.  Very beautiful and huge."

"Very huge," Xander agreed with a smile.  "But beautiful and peaceful.  Even when the cows are outside."

"Cows?"

"We had to eat something," Xander said dryly.  He looked at Radek.  "Did we leave the ice cream churn?"

"We left most everything in case we needed it again," he reminded him.  Xander nodded, eating another bite.  "It was good ice cream."

"It was," Xander agreed with a smile.  "Think Evan wants to replay that first birthday soon?"

Radek considered it.  "He would have to be in infirmary for many days, Xander."

"True."

"How long were you guys there?" Cam asked quietly, glancing around.

"Five years."  Radek smiled.  "Many things got better.  Even Rodney quit fussing at things.  Plus we found citrus he is not allergic to."

"Wonderful!  Did he finally eat some?"

"Yes, he's slightly addicted to lemon tortes," Xander said dryly.  "Or sorbet."  He grinned.  That was his corruption of Rodney's diet.

"I'd like to look at those," Cam decided.  "So would the other botanists."

"I have cuttings for all of them."

"Even better."  Cam smiled.  "You do look happier."

"We are happier," he agreed.  "A lot happier."

"We had many talks," Radek agreed.  "The Doctor's new son nearly had Miko wanting one."

Xander cooed.  "She'd be a great mom."

"Yes she would."

Cam smiled and nodded.  "She'd definitely have the edge on how to treat temper tantrums thanks to McKay's."  They smirked at that.  "You two are nearly scary now."

"Some days," Xander agreed.  "Make sure Radek or someone reminds me to wear clothes for a bit."

"Of course we will," Cam said.  "You ran around naked?"

"It saved on laundry," Radek said dryly.  "Everyone ran around naked sometimes."  Cam shivered.  "Only Dawn and Miko there to protest."

"Hmm.  Interesting.  Can I see?"  They nodded.  "Thanks, guys."  He got back to his dinner.  Xander and Radek finished theirs and went home for the night.  Cam went up to dream about the new city.  It sounded nice.  Somewhere peaceful to retire to, after he got to the same stage of battle burnout that Xander had.

***

Nila appeared in the house late that night, looking around.  She spotted the new doorway and smiled.  "Eterna?" she called quietly.  The other AI appeared.  She hugged her.  "Welcome back."

"Nila."  She smiled.  "Thank you for welcoming me.  My people were very kind about how nice you were to them."

Nila smiled.  "Xander found me after I had been alone for a very long time.  He is like family to me as well."

Eterna smiled.  "I will share the family with you and Atlantis if she wishes.  Radek has told me more will be coming soon to see how pretty I am."

"You are quite beautiful."  She smiled, pointing at the one that had just appeared.  "This is Botany.  She's in one of the labs.  Xander and she talk often."

Botany bowed.  "My creators were not happy with yours but Radek has made me see that I cannot ignore you because you are technically family."

Eterna bowed back.  "I am always happy to have more family."  Botany smiled.  "Xander has a great many plants to show you.  Including a lemon that Rodney is not allergic to."

"Really?  He must adore that," she said happily.  "I have heard stories of cows?"

"Xander did bring a few for their needs."  She pointed.  "I am there.  You may borrow some of my projectors."  They went to see the new city.  Botany had learned how to go to Atlantis to help that lab there and often went to the mountain to upset the lab there because they were doing stupid things.  They marveled at the new plants, the new designs, that she still had a ship.  Atlantis joined and looked around, looking confused.  Her sisters gave her a hug.  She smiled back.  "Xander taught me," Eterna told her.

"He taught us as well," Atlantis assured her.  "What did they do here?  You are in better shape than I was from all the water and power drains."

Eterna flashed over the memories of the last five years.  It only took nanoseconds between them.  They all grinned at the silliness of their family.  They settled down to play gin rummy.  Rodney had taught Eterna and Atlantis both so they taught the others.  Each one got to change their hands to what they wanted them to look like but otherwise it was a family of older, wiser women sitting down to gossip and chat.  Like it should be.  Their finder Xander would be so proud that they had worked it out between themselves.

10: New Commands Settling In

General Ferretti, new general over the SGC, showed up in the labs after hearing the loud request over the intercom system.  "Problems?" he asked.

Botany nodded.  "Quite a lot, General.  These people are doing stupid things that will harm others.  We cannot allow that."

He stared at her.  "Which one are you, dear?" he asked with a smile.  It was always wise to treat the AI's with respect.  Unless they were causing trouble.  Then he treated them like teenagers.

"I am Botany."  She bowed and he bowed back.  "I came to check on things for Doctor Cutler.   She had said her minion was doing something with spore flowers in the open."

"I see.  Spore flowers?" he asked the scientists.  Botany put up a virtual screen to show him the facts on the plant.  He blinked a few times.  "That sounds bad."

"Atlantis had it happen twice on her," Botany said.  "By her records, it discomfited many people, General."

"I can understand why."  He looked at the scientists.  "Okay, your side of it is?"

"I'm not a minion!" she shouted.  "Cutler has been learning bad language skills from McKay!  And it's my lab!  I'm supposed to be looking at the spore plants to see if we can use them to help promote and fund the program."

Ferretti held up a hand.  "Calm down.  Yeah, that sounds like a McKay quote but they were trapped in Pegasus together for a few years."  She huffed.  He smiled.  "Explain to me the safety measures you're taking so you don't accidentally bomb the whole mountain."

"I have it in a case."  She pointed.  "I'm only pulling out a small amount of the sap at a time to see if it can be genetically modified so it'll work in something like a viagra situation."

"I already know the answer to that," Botany said.  She put up that information on the screen.  "Also, you should be aware that anytime you pull out the sap, it does evaporate and it does lead to spores in the air.  That creates a dangerous environment for your coworkers."

"Must we have the AI here?" the junior scientist demanded.

"Yup, because we can't really restrict the AI's when they're being helpful."  He scratched his arm.  "It looks like someone already figured that out."

She looked and snorted then glared at him.  "That's for a sexual lubricant."

"It will do the job, has a low design and production cost, and is quite effective in the limited testing that the laboratory at Torchwood put it through," Botany told her.

"They're gay!  Straight people don't need that sort of thing!"

Botany stared at her.  "According to the internet you have on this planet, many straight couples do need lubricant, even for traditional and procreative vaginal sex."  A few of the other botanists fled with a hot blush.  She smiled.  "Or else there would not be products like KY."  She put up that ad.

"In its many forms.  Or any other brand of sexual lubricant.  It is not simply for receptive anal sex.  Medical journals do state the women do need lubrication, especially as they age or if it has been a long time since their last bout of intercourse.  It is also useful when using condoms to prevent friction."

She smiled.  "Plus, you would not have to weaken the spore down to put into pill format, which would cost nearly four times as much at the lowest estimate.  And beyond that, lubricant can be more fun than taking a pill.  Wouldn't you rather have something that you can simply slick on and then use instead of having to take a pill, wait for it to be effective, then get on with it?"

The botanist glared at Ferretti.  "Make her go back to her lab."

"Her arguments do make sense," he said.  "Botany, how much spore is in the air?"

"It's already reached a fairly responsive rate in this lab.  I have manipulated the air filters so it does not hit in other rooms.  I would not like to see anyone do what they did on Atlantis.  We do not have a pool here or other areas to soak in, or their closet."  She smiled.

"Closet?"

"According to Atlantis' files, the IOA demanded that the soldiers in Pegasus quit having genial, non- and procreative relations with the natives.  They instead wished them to buy surrogates and attain release among themselves.  They stored all such things in a closet."

"Jeez," he complained.  "The IOA bought them porn?"

"And other surrogates that are not visual in nature," she assured him.  "Atlantis?"  She showed up out of the same image projector and scowled at the scientist.  "She does know.   Do you still have that closet of surrogates?"

"Yes.  Though they have not decided to refill any of it," she told the general.  "Did you need it here instead?  I sense a lot of uptight and tense people, General."

"Not right now, I'll see if we need it first.  Thanks, ladies.  Botany, can you do something to weed out the spores in here?"

"I do know that the genetically modified ones, which this one isn't, did respond to an anti-spore spray."  She put up the chemical formula.  "I believe Colonel Carter could devise it."

"I'll get her on that.  Can you please send this Botanist the full files on what Torchwood worked out and if they're going to put it into production to fund themselves?"

"No, that was Owen screwing around as he put it," she said happily.  "Torchwood has a fund and is government mandated.  They do not need the excess funds unless they are going to suddenly all shop like Dawn Summers."

"Good to know," he said with a smile.  "Get Owen to give us permission to use that formula of his please."  She nodded, transferring that all to the local computer.  "Atlantis, please make sure the incidents with the spores are locked so that no one, even the president, can get into them."

"They have been.  The Sheppard law said that 'what happens while spored stays while spored' with the exception of the two men who got pregnant after touching a machine in an unused lab."  She smiled.

"I saw that file," he assured them.  "Can one of you have Doctor Carter make the anti-spore spray?"  They nodded and left.  He looked at the huffy botanist.  "Use better safety precautions, Doc, because I don't wanna be spored.  If you wanna be spored, put up a sign-up sheet for testing."  She slumped, nodding.  "We do not need the whole mountain, including NORAD, to go down for sex for a long weekend."

"Yes, General."

"Take better precautions and let me know if we can use that formula.  I know a lot of people who'd like it in that form."  He left her alone, shaking his head all the way back to the office.  He vid-called Sheppard.  "Did anyone on your staff find anything useful to do with those spores?"

"Not really.  Why are you asking?"

"The AI named Botany stopped one of Cutler's junior scientists from exposing a lot of people.  Botany also mentioned a closet you guys have?"

John coughed and nodded.  "That was the IOA's doing, sir.  It's well used though."

"I don't care.  Hide it from me."  Sheppard smiled and nodded.  "Thank you.  Don't expect funding to update it either, Sheppard."

"I won't, sir.  I'll ask McKay to see if anything got put into the computers."

"Please and make him quit calling them minions.  I've heard three huffy people already over that one spreading."

He smirked.  "Well, when you're as smart as him, we're all minions, sir."

"I don't care."

"I'll talk to him.  Do you need any help from Atlantis to weed out those spores?"

"Colonel Carter is going to look at the anti-spore spray."

"Good idea."  He hung up after a quick salute.  He called Rodney in since he was only outside in the gate controls.  "Two things."  Rodney gave him a dirty look.  "First, the general said to quit calling them minions.  He's getting huffy people complaining at him about that word.  I told him it was reasonable but he said to stop it.  Secondly, we have people in the mountain working on the spores to see if they're useful."  Rodney's face went bright red.  "Not tape of what happened.  She was apparently trying to distill one or something.  Find out if any of us have come up with any uses for it."

"I doubt we have.  I know Owen figured something out."

"You can mention that.  Just do a search and find a better term for the stupid ones, Rodney."

"Fine."  He left, going to deal with that search.  Then he'd look up synonyms for 'minion'.

***

Xander was called for by Cam because he was freaking out.  Xander walked out to where the flash of light had went off, blinding half of everyone.  He stared at the man that appeared.  "Are you the good twin or the evil twin?" he asked dryly.

"The good twin today, Xander," he said with a happy smile.

"Uh-huh.  Then why are you out of your galaxy by so much?"

"I wanted to come check up on you."

"I doubt my mates would like that."

"Are you sure?" he asked, shifting closer.  He touched Xander's cheek.  "I could woo you back."

"And my mates will shoot you," he said with an evil smirk.  "One's behind you right now.  And by the way, this makes you the evil twin."

"Is he really twins?" Evan asked.

"No, MPD."

"Ah."  He zatted the guy.  No effect.  So he did it a second time, that got a yelp.  "Get off my boyfriend."  The man sneered at him but Xander shoved him off.  "Thank you.  I'm a bit overprotective and he's mine."

"Ours," Radek said as he joined them.  "Xander, who is this?"

"Fostra."

Radek grimaced.  "I read about you.  The rest of you, leave."  They ran off.  Cam stayed.  Radek looked at him.  "You as well."

"Not a chance."  He was taking film of this for Sheppard and McKay in case they needed them.  Harry the hellhound appeared, growling at the stranger.  "Thank you, Harry."  The two dragons came running and grew, growling as well.

Fostra looked, then smiled.  "Your egg hatched two?"

"The non furry one is mine.  Mira is a friend's dragon.  Harry, don't eat him yet."  He saw his ex look at the hellhound.

"He is clearly not a man eater."

"She clearly eats souls," Xander said dryly.   "I've helped train her in how to eat the bad ones."  Fostra laughed.  Harry lunged.  Fostra tried to get out of the way but the dog pinned him.  Mira growled, leaning down to snarl on him.

"Call them off before I destroy them."

"Fat chance you're going to get to do anything to any pets," Evan said.   He cocked his sidearm.  "Xander, is he bulletproof?"

"Not in the least and I'm not really sure why the zat didn't work.  Maybe Teal'c's staff weapon would be easier?"  He summoned it and armed it, aiming it at his ex.  "You're an awfully long way from home.  Why?"

"Is it unreasonable to want to see you?"

"Yes.  You had to cross seven galaxies.  There's no way this is a casual visit."

"What does that do?"  Xander shot him and he moaned, passing out.

"That," Xander said smugly.  "Cuff him.  Before he wakes up so we can search for hidden gear."  Cam cuffed him and they patted him down.  John beamed in already scowling.  "Mira, back down before he wakes up please."

She sat back, meeping at Armand, who hissed at him.  Harry growled some more too.  "Down," Radek ordered.  "Calvin, come get your mother," he called over the comm.  Calvin Kavanagh came jogging over to get Harry and walk her off to safety.

"Mira, back," John ordered.  "He's more dangerous than the Genii."  She scooted back a few feet.  Armand did too.  "Thank you.  Xander, who is he?"

"An ex.  He was kinda the dictator of his planet and I guess he was missing me."  He handed Cam the staff weapon.   He backed off to pet the dragons and get them calmed down.  "Good pets.  Thank you."  They snuffled him and stared at Radek.

"We were busy all night," he defended.

John snickered.  "That's so cute.  They can tell when you don't cuddle."  He watched Cam do a second pat down.  "Anything?"

"Not that I can find."

Xander stared at them.  "He's dangerous.  Very dangerous.  Even the Doctor underestimated him he's so dangerous."

"We have a cell a gou'ald can't get out of," John said.

"I don't know how he got here."

"Would Harkness have something better?"

"Probably not."  Fostra gasped and sat up, glaring at them.  "I don't care," Xander said dryly.  "You're a threat to my current job and happiness."

"You could come back with me.  That way you don't have to worry about happiness."

Xander stared at him.  "I left because you were about to have me killed for treason because I disobeyed your laws," he said bluntly.  "Hell no."

Fostra stared at him.  "I can forgive that."

Xander snorted.  "I'd start a revolution and end your petty dominant playing around with those people.  I can't *stand* people who hurt others for no reason beyond it gets them off."

"We were good together.  An exciting couple."

Xander snorted.  "I wasn't excited.  I was bored and you're bad in bed."  Fostra glared, trying to grab him.  "Go the fuck home."

"I will not without you."

"You will or your people will rejoice that you're dead."

"You cannot kill me."  He smirked.  "You once loved me."

Xander shook his head.  "No, I was sick and in pain and you were barely tolerated.  So no, not love.  I have love now.  It's nothing like the nausea I felt when you touched me."  Fostra growled and lunged again but Cam stopped him.  "Go.  Home."

"No!  I will not."  Xander stabbed him and he fell to his knees panting.  "How could you!"

"Easily.  You disgust me."  He stared at him.  "I don't find you worthy of making it home.  So therefore you'll be going to our jails.  They're nicer than yours."

John called for MP's to come help.  Teal'c showed up too.  Xander handed back the staff weapon with a small shrug.  "Xander, who is he?" Teal'c asked.

"One of my ex's."

"Ah, back when you dated."  He stared at the being.  "Was he evil or simply demented?"

"He turned a whole, beautiful planet into a shithole semi-theocracy with him as God figure.  He's a bad lover, he's a bad being, he has no ethics, he hurts people for fun.  Hell, the Emperor I slept with was a better person than he is.  He only tortured beings from other places."  He walked over to stand between Radek and Evan.  Radek smiled at him.  "I know."  He smirked at Evan.  "You're pretty handy with that zat," he teased.

"I try now and then."  He looked at the guards.  "A zat didn't phase him but the staff weapon did."

"Good to know, sir.  Can we have him?"

"Hell yes," Xander said firmly.  "Watch him, he's tricky and he's a bastard.  He'll try to talk anyone onto his side.  That's why I ended up sleeping with the asshole."

"Sure, sir, we can deal with that," the MP in charge agreed.  "Teal'c, sir?"  He helped haul him up and they beamed back to the mountain to put him into a strong cell.   He went to tell the general what had happened.  By now he had heard what Xander used to date so he was well aware they were evil.

Xander sighed, leaning on Evan's shoulder.  "That so sucked.  Radek, we need to find how he got here."

"There wasn't anything on him," Evan said.  "So possibly a ship?  Nila, can you scan above the planet for an unknown ship?"  No answer.  "Nila?"  Still no answer.  "Xander?"

"Nila!" he called.  No answer.  "Shit, he did something to her.  I'm going to kill him."  She appeared, looking flustered.  "Did someone bother your programming?"

"No, I was on Atlantis calming her down.  It appears we had a wave beam show up down here."

"Yeah, it was probably my ex," Xander said dryly.  "He's in custody."

"No, it was not here.  It was on her."  John stiffened.  "She is fine," he assured him.  "We do not know what the beam was but we are investigating it."

"Did he mess with any of yours or the dock's systems?" Evan asked her.

She looked up then shook her head.  "He was annoying but did not harm me."  She went back to Atlantis to help her.  John got brought with her.  They had to fix whatever had happened.  She stole Radek too, right out from under Xander's hands.

Xander looked at Evan.  "Go rally the troops to help Rodney if needed," he said quietly.  Evan nodded, walking off.  Xander needed some quality screaming in rage time.

Evan blocked the soldiers from investigating.  "One of his ex's just showed up, guys.  Let him yell," he ordered.

"Sir, one of the evil ones, like another gou'ald?" his second asked.

Evan shook his head.  "Worse.  Dictator.  Almost had Xander killed for being empathic with the people."  That got a nod and they posted a guard so Xander could rant and scream but not hurt himself or others.

An hour later the guard glanced back at the room Xander was in.  It had gotten quiet.  He got Xander a bottle of water, handing it over with a hopeful smile.  "I'm sure we can space gate him, Xander."

Xander nodded.  "I'm hoping that would work to kill him."  He opened the water.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He went back to his post since Xander sat down in there.  Xander was too important to risk.  One of the new scientists showed up and looked.  "One of his evil ex's showed up," he said quietly.  "They were the evil dictator sort."

"I guess that's normal.  Botany isn't letting anyone play with a few of the plants without one of the head botanists there?"

"One of the Pegasus plants?" he asked.

"I think so."

"Then it's probably deadly.  Everything else there was.  We had whole teams nearly eaten by the plants there."

She shook her head slowly.  "How could that happen?"

He nodded.  "We had plenty.  It was so bad it caught ships.  There was a huge one like Gomez, one of Xander's plants, Pugsley's father if you've seen him."

"He showed us pictures during our briefing."  She smiled.  "It was adorable."

"It was deadly.  The thing was as big as a strip mall.  It ate a ship."  She moaned.  "Yeah.  Very bad.  You should see the tentacle and dangerous plants that the demented botanist threw on the atoll.   Some of them have poison tentacles."

"I have to introduce them to them," Xander called.  He got up and came out.  "Let's go see what you want to learn about."  He walked her off.  "Thanks, Thomas."

"I'm Henry, sir."

"Sorry, Henry."  He grinned.  "You twins always get me."  Henry giggled and walked off to call his brother on Atlantis to see if they needed more help.  Xander smiled at her.  "I hate it when ex's show up.  They always cause problems."  She nodded she understood.  He took her up to botany, using his pass to get them inside.  "What were you working on?"  She led him to it and he blanched.  "How did that get in here?"

"Is it deadly?"

"Hell yeah.  Um... shit, everyone's on Atlantis.  Botany, did you put a shield over this thing?"

"Yes, Xander."  She appeared.  "I put a very firm shield over this based on the notes Doctor Cutler put into the other system.  Do we need me?  I'm helping Nila with the other AI."

"No, go.  Let me know if you need my help please."  She nodded and left.  Xander looked at the pouting botanist, then decided to call up the file.  He let her read it, and was amused when all the color drained from her face.  "Yeah," he agreed.  "But at least it's not the damn spore plant."  A light hit one in the corner.  Someone had replanted one of the bulbs as a cutting.  Xander checked it over, watered it, then dropped a shield over it too.  "Spore plant," he said with a point.  "It makes you want to find the most fertile and make sure you get pregnant."  She blushed, giggling nervously.  "Seriously!  For days on end."

"Oh!"

"Yeah.  We had an attack of the spores twice before.  Everyone got real relaxed but kinda sore."  He pointed.  "Want to work in the vegetable garden with me?  I'll introduce you to the tentacle and deadly ones out there."

"Sure."  She followed him to the atoll, helping him weed while they talked about all the other plants around.  She was highly amused until a sucker tentacle tried to grope.  Then she yelped and Xander had to zat the plant again so he could die up the tentacle.  "I thought you were kidding."

"No, she's a cousin to my Morticia."  He grinned.  "That one can get about ten, twelve feet tall and likes tasty people.  We almost handed out red shirts to the teams going to their places."

She laughed.  "Did they complain?"

"I got sent back to my office to sit in the corner," he said dryly.  "And so did Rodney."  He heard a yell and looked over.  "I'm over here!" he bellowed.  They hadn't yelled his name but he'd probably end up in the middle of it.  Nothing.  "Armand?"  He grew and looked over.  "Do I need to come back and handle the yelling thing?"  Armand looked then meeped and shrank again.  "I think that was a no."  He picked some of the tomatoes and she did some of the corn and lettuce.

They carried them back to the kitchen, earning a happy cook, and went to see what the problem had been.  "I know I've been too busy to geek wrangle," he said dryly when he found two females wrestling on the deck, "but really, people.  This isn't dignified or a pay-per-view event," he said firmly.  The soldiers wandered off.  He hauled one up to stare at her, letting his helper help the other up.  "What did we think we were doing?"

"She stole my research!" that one shouted, pointing at the other.

"It was mine first and you stole it from me, you talentless cow!"

"Children," Xander sighed.  They glared at him.  He glared back and they both shrank down.  "Either find a way to publish complementary papers, publish together, or work this out like big scientists.  We don't need the drama.  We have plenty already."  They pouted.  "Or talk to your original boss so they can decide this.  That way they know who's doing what."

"I got told to update every month," his helper agreed with a smile.  "Doctor Blake would probably help you if you wanted.  You can vid call her from the rec room."

"I have the other systems set up for that, or so I thought," Xander said.

"You do," she said with a grin.  "But that's a shielded line so they don't have to worry about it being intercepted."

"Oh, okay.  Radek said he was going to do that."  He looked at them.  "Pick an option because you just made all the soldiers start taking bets."  They blushed and looked down.  "Decide today, ladies."  They walked off to the rec room.  He smiled at her.  "I need to geek wrangle more often."  She nodded.  "But tonight we have sparring practice."  He walked her off.  "Let's check the other labs, just in case.  It's been too quiet for too long."

"Yes it has.  Usually Eureka would've had an explosion by now," she quipped.

"Don't tell me that," he moaned.  "We don't need that sort of drama either.  Please?"

She laughed.  "We'll try and Fargo's still there."

"I can accept that then."  They walked into Chemistry first.  "Guys, how are we doing?"

"We're doing things you haven't trained on," one said shortly.  "You're keeping us from working on great things."

"Did the ego fairy land?" Xander asked dryly, staring at him.  "Because McKay might still need help later and you know he'll call you names to break it."

"No," he muttered.  "They have that well in hand I heard."

"Fine.  What are we doing, just in general terms?"

"Interrupting us," another one said.  "You're doing a brilliant job of it too."

Xander sneered at him.  The lab shut down.  He smirked.  "Really?"  They groaned.  "What are we doing?  It's my job to keep track of these things, and now that I'm back I need to do that.  That way your bosses get updates too."

"We're working on the synthesis of this plant in relation to human biology," one said.

Xander looked at the plant.  "That's the spore plant.  It makes you want to breed."  He called up the information.  "I can tell you the effects last about four days after the spore's cleared out.  Unless that's a modified one."  He pulled up something else.  "This is something another lab that we're loosely affiliated with came up to do with it."  He looked at him.  "Will that help?"

He read it over.  "That's almost brilliant.  Who engineered that?"

"I've found it a number of places."

"Oh."  He looked at him.  "Is there any other benefits?"

"If you keep the roots on, since that one was crossed with an air vine it looks like, it won't grow alarmingly fast.  You can replant it.  If you cut the roots off it'll take over the whole lab within hours if it's holding true to the air vine's nature."

"What's an air vine?" another one asked.

"That is a plant that will suck the air out of somewhere.  When it runs out of oxygen, it'll stop growing and just decompose things."  He pulled up the information on that on another screen.  "We've used it a few times.  It took over a lab in about nine minutes.  It's only killed by fire.  So do not remove the roots."

He read it, gaping at Xander.  "Where did you find this?"

Xander smiled.  "Before I joined the project's people."  He smirked.  "Will that help?"

"Do the merging of the plants act the same way with others?" the head chemist asked, looking that over.

"Yes.  That's why we had watermelon for *days* during an away mission."

"Well."  He looked at him.  "Is there any of that in botany?"

"No.  All those samples are fully sealed and will not be released from their crystaline entrapment.  We have scans of it, detailed breakdown of the structure, all that, but I can't do more than let you handle the glass box."

"I understand that fully.  Can we crossbreed it with anything else?"

"Yeah, we used to do it all the time.  I did peanuts a lot because we always needed snack food."  He smiled. "Ask Radek when he gets back.  He can authorize that."

"Thank you.  You're not as bad as we had heard."

"From the linguists?" he guessed.  They all nodded.  "They had a bad habit of slacking to the point of pawning off their work on me and Daniel.  I handed it back a lot and Daniel gave them 5K runs for it."

"No, none of us slack," he assured him dryly with a smirk.

"Good."  He turned back on the lab and walked out with his helper.  "Physics should be with Radek."  He checked in engineering/physics but it only had one person.  "Dude, need help?"

"No, Xander," he said quickly, putting his notes aside.  "Thank you anyway."

"Sure."  He walked off and called Calvin Kavanagh to go work in there.  That way whatever suspicious thing could be found sooner.  She gave him a dirty look.  "There's still many classified things."

"I know.  I want to tell others how amazing it is but I know."  Xander nodded. They went to check the other labs, turning a few down to standby unless they were running tests while they were gone.  Then they went back to botany to look over the air vine's files.  She was interested in cross-breeding it for other things.  He pulled up the files from the watermelon experiment so it was easier for her.  That didn't have anything classified in it as far as he knew.

***

Ferretti walked down to talk to the new prisoner.  He was highly unamused by this one.  "How did he get down here?" he asked the guard.  "Has he said anything beyond moaning that Xander is taken?"

"No, sir.  He's pouting."  He smirked.  "Much like the others of his we've run into."

"I was his only one," Fostra sneered.

"Well, you're not now since he's presently in a good, permanent relationship," Ferretti said with a smile.  "We enjoy and encourage the new one because it is so good for him.  How did you get down here to visit?"

"I do not have to say a word to your sort.  I have killed many of you."

"We can easily return the favor," Ferretti offered with a grin.  "It won't bother us at all."

"General, the fence people just called and said O'Neill is on his way down, sir," the guard said quietly.

"Cool.  I'll let Jack talk to this idiot."

"I am no idiot."

"Clearly you are because you're pissing us off," the guard told him.  "Pissing off Xander makes him design and create weapons for his boyfriends."  He smirked evilly.  "I have no doubt we'll be seeing something totally evil yet oh so very sexy from him soon to calm them down."  He saw a flash and grimaced.  "Doctor McKay?"

"Yes."  He waved a hand.  "No, I'm not yours."  He looked at Ferretti.  "His ship did not cause the beam to hit Atlantis.  That was a satellite by some other species that still appears totally friendly."

"If you're not our McKay, are you an alternate McKay?  I lived through seeing the quantum mirror stuff all too often, Doctor."

"No."  He smirked.  "I'm a temporal McKay, not an alternate McKay."

He was clearly a good mooded McKay and an odd one since he was cracking jokes.  "Then why come back here?"

"Because you still haven't fully stopped the French from blowing up Earth."

"Have I been told about this?"

"I told Landry."

"No one told me.  So I'll let you debrief me in a minute?"  Rodney smirked and nodded.  "How far ahead are you?"

"Fifteen years.  I'm recovering from the kidnaping."  He rolled his eyes.  "I managed to do a last minute stop of them and they were not appreciative and restarted with the even more wrong formula."

"Oh, shit," Ferretti muttered.  "What are they building?"

"ZedPM weapons."

"Hell no!" Ferretti said.  "O'Neill, can't you stop the French?"  He was walking up the hallway.

"They said it's private research and to butt out."  He looked at the tanned, fit McKay.  "Temporal again?"

"Yes.  They're still going to try it.  Thankfully I had Ever to retire to when things got so bad.  Atlantis was even trying to shield me and couldn't."

"Huh.  Can we stop them by taking out the scientists or having them conscripted?" Jack asked.

"UNIT would want a ZedPM as well."

"Yeah but they're not stupid.  They'd like the earth to continue."

Rodney smirked.  "That may help but they're not private research."

"Didn't figure they were.  What's going on with Atlantis?"

"It's a satellite from a seemingly harmless species that we haven't dealt with yet.  So far they haven't made any threatening moves.  They will not like Xander.  They reproduce asexually.  They were aiming at anything high tech to see if it answered.  I'll be figuring it out in a few hours.  After pulling out some more hair."  He sneered at the man in the cell.

"Xander loves them enough to use the machine to make him pregnant," he said in another language.  The man growled.  "You never had his trust or love.  They adore him more than their careers.  More than their lives.  Everything they've worked for they'd give up to be with him.  You wouldn't even miss dinner.  He picked the right one."

The man lunged against the forcefield but it held.  "Your people will rejoice when you're gone.  I'll have to tell the Doctor to tell them."  Rodney switched back to English.  "Space gate him.  He's the Hitler stereotype that captured him."

"I heard that story," Jack admitted, staring at him.  "We sure?"

"I'm positive.  I cannot divulge how but I am positive of it."

"Don't tell me you took his wardrobe," Jack ordered.  "Or made your own."

"No.  You remember those visions he had?" he asked dryly, smirking at him.

"Oh, geez," Jack muttered.  "He made it work?"

"On Atlantis instead of Nila."  He beamed at him.  "By the way, he is a time agent.  His jump band is in his ship, powered it to get here.  That is Harkness' people."

"Got it.  Where is his ship?"

"Cloaked up above Rome.  He remembered Xander talking about Octavian."  He disappeared in a flash of light.

"Visions?" Ferretti asked.

"Bad ones about possible things that're really horrible," the guard assured him.  "It saved us a few times."

"Yes it has," Jack agreed quietly.  "Though that's not to get out."

"Of course not, sir.  People would expect Xander to be some sort of freak instead of the huge ass warrior stud he is.  You know they're badass if they can beat Teal'c sometimes or even Colonel Sheppard, General," he told the new one.

"I'd like to see that sparring match.  I've never heard of anyone beating Teal'c."

Jack nodded.  "Yeah, he can kick ass dozens of ways.  So, we find his ship, we space this puss sucker, and then we stop France.  That's a busy week," he decided, walking off.  "Let me call Torchwood to alert them he's here.  Just in case.  Send Mitchell up to find and board his ship so we can get the band before it's destroyed, and any other information."

"Sure," Ferretti agreed.  "But he's on a trade mission."

Jack smirked.  "Then I'll go."  He beamed out.  He didn't get much chance to fly anymore and Xander did give them that sweet new fighter craft.  That was a good reward for having to fly commercial all the way back from DC to talk about the French.

Ferretti looked at the guard.  "Served with him on the city?"

"Yes, sir."  He smiled.  "He routinely kicked all our asses in sparring practice.  But if we could tag him, we could sure kick a wraith's butt."

"Good.  I'd still like to see that."  He went to arrange that for later on.  It turned out to be the next day but he could accept that.

***

Jack got beamed into Torchwood's office.  "Hello?" he called.

Owen's head popped up from his medical area.  "We're all out on a call."

"Are you a hologram?" Jack teased with a grin.

"Mostly.  I'm hiding from Dawn's excessive libido again."  He put his head back down.  "What's wrong, General?"

"I need to hand something over to Jack."

"Temporal issue?"

"One of Xander's ex's.  Were you the only non psychotic one?"

"Dam near," Owen said with a smirk.  "Though Dawn is driving me nutters now."

"A good woman will do that to you," Jack agreed.  "My former wife did while we were married."  He heard the crash and Owen winced.  "Problems?"

"Huge demonic rat that keeps trying to get through the manhole.  Nothing we have will kill it and Dawn can't magic the barmy thing."

"Bullets?"

"Ricocheted," Ianto said as he walked in.  "Problems, General?" he asked with a smile.

"Handing over something to Jack."  He held it up.

"Did he lose his again?" Ianto demanded.  "Did someone else set it off like Xander did?"  Owen snickered.  "It's possible."

"Only for Dawn and others like them."

"No, it belonged to one of Xander's ex's."  Jack smirked at the dirty look that got from Ianto.  "Not your head."  Jack Harkness stomped in looking pissed.  He held up the bracelet.  Jack growled and snatched it, checking it against him.  "Fostra."

Jack gave him an evil smirk.  "Thank you.  Alive?"

"Space gate."

"Even better."  He put it into his jacket pocket.  "Why did he show up?"

"He wanted Xander back."

"Ah, the ex boyfriend reason."  He shook his head.  "We knew he wasn't well wound before.  That proved it.  His ship?"

"I destroyed the thing myself after rescuing the data crystals and the band."

"Thank you."  He smiled and shook his head.  "Would you like Dawn for a bit?"  Owen snickered at that.  "She's being a bit girlish and fussy."

"I'm not sure if we have a lot of stuff to translate or not but we have a few people who want to look at Ever so she could chaperone."

"That's nearly brilliant.  I'll tell her to come see you."

"Not a problem.  Is she in trouble?"

"Oh, just two stalkers," Jack said dryly.  "Who want her for her powerful blood."

"Gotcha.  She'll be safe there."

"I know."  He smiled.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  I'm in the Mountain."

"I'll send her myself."  Jack nodded and got beamed out.  "Sorry, Owen.  One just managed to open the secondary rift and call a powerful being to this plane.  She's a bit knackered calling Buffy to kill it for her."

"That's fine.  I can always visit."

"True."

"Remember to take care of her plants for her," Ianto said.

"Of course.  I can't ignore the green, leafy children, can I?  Xander would have my ass in an extremely painful way."  He got back to his paperwork.  "We need supplies."

"We always do," Jack agreed, going to his office.  Something felt off but that was about usual in Cardiff.  Dawn came in dragging a few minutes later, dropping onto his couch for a nap.  "Yes, rest."  She snored in response.  He smiled at his little girl, letting her sleep it off for now.  He'd surprise her later with her trip.

***

Xander walked into the gym the next afternoon with a bag on his shoulder.  "Ah, the gang's all here," he said happily.  Jon was stretching.  Teal'c was testing the bantos rods Teyla had brought with her.  Xander smiled at the staring baby.  "You are so adorable," he teased, making him happy.  Teyla's son was adorkable most of the time.  He handed him to Miko since she was there.  "That way you don't have to worry while we're fighting with your mommy."

"I'll make sure he doesn't get too upset," she said with a smile.

Xander winked.  "Cool.  It's been weeks since I sparred."  He handed Teal'c the bag of weapons and took off his shirt.  He stretched, nodding at Cam and John where they conspiring in the corner.  "Even if you two gang up you still won't win," he quipped.

"We know," Cam said with a smirk.  "We're talking about women."

"Never mind."  He finished stretching because a few of the watching soldiers had laughed at that.  He looked at Ronon then at Teyla.  "So, which weapons today?"

"Bantos rods.  Teal'c had learned admirably well," she said with a smile.  "Miko will make sure the son does not fuss too greatly."

"He loves her boots the same way Mira does," Xander agreed, earning a pinch to the arm but a smile.  "He does."

"He does.  He likes to crawl after them."

Teal'c pulled out the weapons they'd need and put them out.  "These."  They came over to pick out their sets.  Teyla had to grab hers.  "Those have a weakness in the handle."

"I know but I'm used to it," she assured him with a smile, getting a nod.  "They are mean but not that badly."

"Leave the spare set out anyway," Xander said.  "In case one of ours gets lost or broken."  He stretched again, swinging the sticks around.  They moved back to the center of the gym.  "Guys, if we move towards you, move," he called.  "We aren't going to be confined to a small space."  They all nodded and shifted further out of the way.  Xander looked at them.  Then at Teal'c.  "So, we start?"

"Start," Cam said, attacking John.

"Free-for-all," Ronon agreed, attacking Xander.  Teal'c and Teyla started but the fighting groups eventually ran into each other and switched off or ganged up for a bit on the others.  Xander got to yelp at one hard hit but Cam paid for it with a new bruise to his stomach and then a good one on his back.  Teal'c was impressed but they were trying to wear him down hard.  Jon fell out first, but that was normal for him.  He was groaning and had to get out of the way before Ronon tripped over him.  Ronon was the next out and then Cam.  Teyla held her own until John gave her an evil smirk and worked her back into range of Teal'c's weapons and she got hit on the shoulder by accident.  She was out after that.  John and Teal'c piled on Xander but Xander was doing good.  He was grinning madly at them.  "It's been too long," Ronon said.  "He's bouncy again."

Xander laughed and attacked Teal'c harder, which let John attack him too.  Teal'c was still holding his own but he was just as sweaty as they were and he was starting to breathe hard.  Finally he bowed out.  John and Xander went at it, all sweaty muscles and a few drops of blood from an open spot.  Finally Xander used a trick he had learned off the slayers to knock John down.  "I win I think."

"Yup, I give," John groaned, letting Xander help him up.  "Teal'c, you're doing very good with this style."

"Thank you.  It is something interesting to learn."  He checked them over.

"We already know," Keller promised from the sidelines with the baby.  She handed him off to his mother and came out to look.  "Colonel, Xander, hit the infirmary to have those cuts healed.  Ronon, you too.  We'll undo the bruises so you're not as sore or unpretty."  She looked Teyla over.  "I'm scanning that shoulder.  Jon's already there, boys.  March."  They sighed but carefully put away their weapons once they were wiped down and followed orders.  With a quick trip for a soda and a candy bar for Xander.  Keller glared at him.  "I heard you missed lunch."

"I was geek wrangling some fighting ones.  They wanted access to some more classified files and got to argue."  Cam looked at him.  "Mostly the botanists."

"We'll see."

"It's on your system to approve or deny."

"Thanks."  He stole the other half of the candy bar to eat.  He needed it after how badly he had done today.  "Usually I last longer."

"Yeah but we kept shoving you and John at Teal'c," Xander said with a grin.

"Indeed and it was a worthy match," Teal'c said.  "Quite stress relieving."  They all nodded.

The general walked in.  "I'm blown away.  I couldn't even hope to get there.  I barely lasted three seconds with Teal'c in the sparring ring, guys.  You went almost a half hour."  They all smiled and nodded.  "You guys can use the gym whenever you want for sparring.  The other guys could use the help and encouragement."

"If we had a gym I could teach in on Nila, I used to help run self-defense," Xander said.

"Yeah, he was the one I sent the stupid ones to," John agreed.  Ronon laughed, nodding he did too.

"I'll see what we can do.  Xander, any problems on Nila?"

"A few soldiers who're new to the program giving me odd looks.  One didn't listen to Evan at all so he made him go weed the tentacle plants on the atoll."  Cam snickered, shaking his head.  "He damn sure will soon."

"I'll make sure all your people know you guys have a pass on don't ask, don't tell, kid."  Xander hugged him.  "Thanks," he said, patting him awkwardly.  Xander let him go.  "I heard you hugged really nice."  He looked at the others.  "Jon, I didn't expect you being able to do that."

"We were with Xander when he had some temper calming down time.  I learned a lot then.  I'm still not great but I'm good enough if I have to be."

"Temper?"

"He's a berserker when he's worn out and then seriously injured," Cam said.   Xander nodded.  So did the others.  "So we took a side trip to get some calming down time, though I wasn't aware of it at the time."

"Why?"

"It was after that whole sending Xander to help Cam incident," Xander said.  "How we got back."

"I read that and I wanted to beat the hell out of him for that," Ferretti said.  Xander smiled.  "I'll never do that.  Even if it's absolutely necessary I'd take volunteers."  He looked at Cam, who pointed at Xander.  He looked at him again.  "You don't have to worry about that with me, kid."

"Thanks, Ferretti."

"You're welcome.  You guys calm down, get cleaned up, and then go show off for your people.  I'm sure the ones on the city miss sparring times."

"It got so hot, they made calendars," Ronon said dryly.

"Really?" Ferretti asked.

"Yeah, it was smut relief," John sighed, shaking his head.  "Computer and physical ones.  She had a good eye, but I still nearly spanked her for it."

"Just you guys?"

"No, a male and a female calendar," Teyla said.  "It was most embarrassing."

"I'll look into that to make sure it's not rampant on this base too."  He went to ask Walter.  He knew who had what.  If he didn't, Carter could hack the systems.  "Do we have to stop the underground calendar from Atlantis?"

Walter looked at him.  "It's already viral around the mountain, sir.  I doubt we could."

"The original or is there a new copy?"

"Both?"

"Stop them and I want to see whoever did it, Walter.  We don't appreciate what the guys do for us that way."

"Yes, sir."  He called the psychologist down to talk to him.

"Figures it was a shrink," he muttered.  "She'll probably claim it was stress relief."

"She has," Walter agreed.  He smiled.  "She does have a very good eye."

"I don't care.  If they want to do that, she has to ask permission.  The same as any other calendar like that does."  He went to his office to take an advil.  Hammond never had problems like this.  Why did he?  Must've been Landry's fault.  Or how cut off Atlantis had been.  She walked in with two calendars and he scowled.  She slumped.  "Did we get permission?"

"No, sir," she said weakly.  "They don't mind."

"I'll be making sure."  He held out a hand, taking them to look through.  Nothing too risque but not bad.  Only a few slightly naked pictures.  He glared at her and she sat down.  Yeah, it was going to be a long talk since she was a bit manipulative.

***

Cam stood up to look around the base-wide meeting in the caf on Nila.  "As of today, the general has stopped the underground calendar movement.  He asks that each of you be responsible and delete your own.  If he catches you handing it to another person then you're in deep.  Also, there have been some requests to get into some of the more classified files. *I* decide on a case-by-case basis.  Xander brings that to me and I look it over."  The scientists all nodded, smiling at that.  "As of right now, I can only release six of the requested thirty files.  A few have incidences that are more classified than not."

"Sir, is some of the worry that we will realize you guys weren't exactly local?" one said dryly.  "We're all smart enough to know that some of the things we see aren't from around here."

"True," he agreed.  "That is one reason."

"The other city being another?" one of the chemists asked.

"Yes, that's another reason.  That's got a higher classification rating."

"Can you black out those mentions for us?" the botanist asked.

"I'm working on that."  She smiled.  He looked at Xander.

"Don't give me that look.  It's not like we wouldn't have seen the tentacle plants somewhere if they were from here."

"True."  He looked at the others.  "I'm working on blanking out mentions."  They all grinned at him for that admission.

"Colonel, there's been some declassification about the mountain's program.  Is the rest coming?"

"We don't want to cause a panic," he said.  "I hope not anytime soon.  People will freak out."

"Especially the other scientists," Radek added.

"True, we're seeing things here that we haven't even really theorized about," one agreed.  "Especially the AI's."  Cam nodded.  "So we're your first step to that?"

"Yup," Cam said with a grin.   "That way you guys publish, our geeks publish, the regular scientists get used to the idea that this stuff exists, then we slide more out so only the fundies freak out."

"What about those Roswell lovers?" Evan joked.

"They're going to go into fits of orgasmic joy," Cam said sarcastically.

"Too late.  They were on the news this morning cooing because someone can hack," Xander said dryly.  "From UNIT."

"Who did that?" Cam asked.

"No clue.  Martha warned me by text message as she was going to beat them to death."

"So the main program is the US's version of UNIT?" one demanded.  He looked at Xander.  "That means that guy who showed up really was the Doctor."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "How did you meet him?"

"Traveling by blippy."  He smirked.  "A lot.  Then again, I dealt with more strange things than this, guys."  He shifted and looked at Cam once his feet were up on a chair.  "So anything come from whoever's yelling in the Mountain?"

"Not that I've heard but I'll check on that soon.  How open did they crack us?"

"About another six inches.  They released more documents about the gou'ald."

"Huh.  In that language?"

"Yup."

"Damn."

"Basically."

"Okay.  We'll see."  He looked around.  "I'll have Sheppard help me block out some things so you guys can have the other files faster."  They all nodded.  "Even if we were fully declassified, some of it you still wouldn't get."  He walked off to call the main base.  Ferretti was growling over the phone line when he asked.  "Sir, how high am I allowed to let our non-program geeks get?"

Ferretti huffed.   "Anything non damaging."

"Some damaging things will come out.  Like the ZPM creating mistakes."

"I get that.  Don't let out anything that will make people flinch."

"So, nothing from Atlantis?"

"Damn.  Um...  Let me talk with O'Neill.  For now, guard Atlantis."

"Yes, sir."  He hung up and declassified a few others for them to get into.  That left half of them they had to do cover-up jobs on.

***

Xander popped to where the girls were waiting, smiling at them.  "Hi."

"Space?" Buffy demanded.  "You went into space!"

"Other planets, not usually on a ship.  We did fly a few times though."

She stared at him.  "That's so much worse than demons."

"Actually most of them have been human.  The gou'alds seeded this galaxy with people they stole from here."

"Oh."  She stared at him.  "What do you do there?"

"I'm a linguist, I'm a good negotiator, I make first contact and help with contracts."  He shrugged.  "The same thing I did on our team."

"Fine."  She shook her head.  "You do really strange things."

"Yup."  He smirked at Faith.  "Did you tell her?"

"Nope, not allowed yet."

Buffy stared at her.  "So you did the same sort of thing?"

"Sometimes."

"Damn it, I should let them take me to do it instead of all the demons.  Wanna switch, Faith?"

"Only if I have my team at my back.  I learned the value of teamwork *real* fast."  She looked at Xander's neck.  He pulled out the full necklace.  "I was hoping you were your usual paranoid self."

"Yup.  Because we're on the hellmouth in Cleveland.  There's no telling what's warped from it being Cleveland."  Buffy snickered, shaking her head.  "Well it might."

"Anything's possible.  As long as we don't get a Drew Carey vampire."  They walked off together.  "So, any hotties?"

"They made calendars of the hotties for the underground," Faith said dryly.  "Male and female."

"You were supposed to toss those out," Xander said dryly.

"I did," she said, winking at Buffy.  Who smirked back.

"I don't care, you know that.  Rodney might."

"Maybe."  They staked a few vampires rushing their way and moved on.  "How's the city?"

"Ever's good.  We spent some time there last night."

"I meant Nila."

"She's wonderful.  Our accessory geeks are doing really good.  They're not fussing at the stuff that's still classified."  Buffy gave him an odd look.  "Yeah, it's still about half classified."

"Worse or better?" she asked.

"Way worse," Faith assured her.  "The main creep in the classified stuff ain't human so we can have it.  I reacted to just some blood of the thing, B."

"They hate Armand though," Xander quipped.

"I'd hug him for that but he might snuggle and try to keep me again," she quipped.  They all stared at the flash of light that went off.  "Ronon."  She smiled at him.  "Bored?"

"Yes.  It was help you patrol or play with Teyla's son."  He looked at Xander.  "Is this your other friend?"

"This is Buffy.  She's the other slayer."

He shook her hand with a smile.  "Faith has told us much about you."  He walked beside Faith, looking around.  "Much too quiet."

"Yup," she agreed.  "We've already seen some vamps."  She handed him her spare stake.  They walked off.

Buffy tipped her head.  "I'm jealous of her," she sighed.  "She hit the man olympics gold medal."

Xander smiled.  "He's a nice, sweet guy too," he assured her.  "He lost his wife and whole planet when they were killed."  She looked at him.  "By that other classified thing."

"Damn."

"Yeah."  He walked her off.  "They're good together.   She teases him all the time."

"She still hasn't wanted to pack me like your dragon did," Ronon quipped with an evil smirk at him.

"If I could pack you to carry around all day, I'd definitely have you in my pocket," Faith assured him, making him cackle at that dirty thought.

Buffy sighed.  "Ronon, do you have any friends you can introduce me to?"

"A few but they're all soldiers."

She waved a hand around.  "That means they'd understand all this."

"True.  I'll ask."  She grinned and they kept going.  Ronon wasn't used to staking but he got the hang pretty quickly.  It let him bruise and break as many vampires as he wanted.  Then he pinned Faith against a tree to kiss her.

"We'll keep going," Buffy said, walking Xander off.

"They do make a good couple," Xander said happily.  "I'm glad they're helping each other."

"He seems really nice."

"He is, even if it does carry a lot of weapons and grunt a lot sometimes."

She shrugged.  "Still got a nice ass."

Xander snickered.  "There's more to him than his nice ass."

"So you looked?"

"I spar with him every few days."

"Oooh.  I want to watch that."

"We have tape of a few of them somewhere."

"Good."  They got a few more vamps and it was like old times.  Only without it being so small of a town.  And no Mocha Pump to stop at for refueling.  They had to settle for Starbucks.

11: Siblings

Owen finished Jack's exam and let him sit up and get dressed.  "Want me to cut the hole open now or later?" he joked.

"No thank you."  He put on his pants.  "How are we?"

"You're still as frustrating as usual," Owen quipped.  "You sure?  I've looked up how to cut open vaggies for it."

"Hell no."   He put on his shirt with a scowl.  "You can do it the normal way, thanks."

"Sure.  Are you doing it here?"

"I hope not.  Maybe on Ever?"

"That could work, yeah."  He put things away.  "So, we've got three more months of you."

"Then Dawn will be cooing non-stop," Jack quipped.

"Definitely.  So, want me to run paternity?"

"It's not like there's some doubt," Jack said dryly.

"Welllllll....."  Owen smirked.  "Dawn's lactating again."  Jack's mouth fell open.  "Perhaps...."

"Ianto?" Jack called.  Ianto came jogging down.  "Did you... help the bonding in any way?"

Ianto smiled.  "I did get a bit of messy stuff from the Doctor to insert.  Xander said it only had to be present and that way you're not alone after I'm gone."  He took a kiss.  "Is it his?"

"Dawn's lactating but that's not conclusive," Owen said.

"We can run paternity."

"We'll probably run into Doc and the little Doc soon," Jack decided.  He stared at him.  "I...."

"I looked it over.  If I hadn't, you'd be more miserable when I died," he said quietly.  "Plus he needed it as well.  He won't have more than a rudimentary link but it's still something to help you when I die after a wonderful night in bed sometime soon."  His eyes pled with Jack to understand.

Jack huffed.  "Stupid hormone, I almost sniffled."  Ianto gave him a quick hug then went back to his desk.  He looked at Owen, who pulled out the needle he'd need.  Jack took off his shirt and let Owen fire back up the ultrasound machine.  It was something they needed to know.  Though why Dawn lactated for the Doctor's kid he wasn't sure.  Maybe it was the Key or something.

Who knew sometimes with Dawn.  Things were weird around the magic stuff.

***

Xander paused, looking up from what he was working on.  "That's the protections I have around him," he muttered.

"What?" one of the other linguists asked.

"Some protections I have around someone just went off."  The other linguist gave him an odd look.  He found his cellphone on the messy desk and called.  "Are you all right?"  He listened to the voice he hadn't heard in years.  "How in the hell, Doc?"  He blinked a few times.  "Yes, please.  No, I'm on Nila.  Come here.  We might need the stabilizing effects."

He hung up and called Dawn, who was still walking botanists around.  "It's me.  My protections on Doc just went off.  Well, he sounded like Ten," he admitted.  He hung up on her complaining.  She wasn't happy.  "She must be lactating again so that means Ianto did slip something into their bonding, like Evan thought," he muttered.

He got back to work.  It could take hours for Doc to get here.  He did text Radek since he was on Atlantis.  That way Rodney would be warned if they needed the medical facilities.  He looked over at the whirring, magically moving things out of the Tardis' way.  The Doctor leaned out.  It was Ten.  "How in the hell?"

"I don't know.  I remember a pounding headache and then suddenly I reverted."

"No, it was an act against you.  My protections went off, Doc."  He walked over to do a sensing.  He saw the flashes.  "Looks like you're going to go back further too.  So let's work to stop this."  He walked him into the Tardis.  Evan and Cam walked in.

"Guys, take the baby for a few?" he asked, sounding calm.  He looked him over again then worked to counter the magic.  Donna's spirit, who was still inside him, was helping.  "Thank you, Donna Noble," he murmured as he worked.  The baby squealed and grabbed Evan to hold.  "Hey, precious.  You stay there."  He saw the flickering and worked against the spell.  It snapped.

He was still Nine again.  Then he was Ten, then back to Nine.  Xander added more power and energy to the spell to stop it.  That settled him.  He read him again, letting Cam get him a bottle of water.  "Well," he said, looking at Ten.  "You're not quite you."

"Am I going to change again?" he asked, sounding tired.

"Yeah, you might go backward or forward at the moment.  I think it's so you can access the strengths of all three."

"Who?" Evan asked.

"Not the coven's head."

"The other guardian?" the Doctor demanded.

"Yup."  He concentrated.  "Yeah, they so did that," he muttered.  He fixed something else and it was eased.  "There, now it should be when you want to change you will."  He stared at him.  "Think really hard about Nine for a second?"

"It does ache to do that," he complained.

"That's because he was more bulky and had more muscle mass, Doc."  He looked him over.  "I can't do a healing spell.  It might hurt you unintentionally."  The Doctor concentrated and switched then to Eleven then back to Ten, frowning.  Xander grinned.  "Easier?"

"Much.  Why did he do this?"

"I don't know but you weren't going to have any memories of the later ones.  He was going to revert you all the way back to the first one and let you live another set of lives.  You might not have regenerated into the same form.  It could be that he didn't want to lose you.  It might be that he was hoping to do something that you wouldn't have memories of.  Donna stopped that."

"Yes, I can hear her complaining about him," he said, rubbing his forehead.  The baby was staring at him, not quite sure what to make of all this.  He took the baby to hold.  "It's all right.  I'm the same father I was before."  The baby grabbed his nose and glasses.  "No, I rather need those."  He took them off and put them into his pocket with a smile.  "There."  The baby cooed and put his head down, waving at Evan with a grin.

"Hi, Little Doc," he said with a grin back.  "We should scan him," he told Xander.

"I called Dawn.  She's on Ever with the wandering botanists."

Cam went to the house to yell for her.  She came jogging and got the Doctor there to scan him for Owen and Jack's help.  While she played with the baby.  The botanists were stunned but oh well.

Xander looked at Evan and shrugged.  "No clue but I think you won that bet."

"I know I won that bet.  Ianto had a used condom," he said dryly.  He took a kiss.  "Tardis, we'll bring him back in a bit, okay?  He's on Ever."  They walked out together.  "You really need to expand this office," he said dryly.

"I can't.  It's cold iron."

"I know."  He patted him and left him to consider what was going on.

Xander found his phone again and called someone.  "Clorisma, it's Xander.  Can you please ask your husband what the hell his counterpart was thinking?"  He listened.  "Yeah, that's why.   No, I stopped it at Nine but I can't guarantee he can't get back to them too."  He listened to her tell him that.  He groaned and said 'good job' but that was probably just a bad plan.  "We sure?"  He nodded.  "Okay then.  I'll let him know.  Thanks."  He hung up and went to his house to blip to Ever.  "The old guy of the coven said it might've been a bad plan but I still think feel non-malevolent feelings."

"Hmm."  He looked at himself.  "It's quite odd."

Xander smirked.  "Maybe next time you'll turn into Donna," he quipped.

"Don't suggest that," he moaned.  Xander grinned.  "So I'm still Eleven officially?"

"I don't know.  Think about one of the early ones.  See if you can get back to them."  He gave him a horrified look and did that then came back to Ten with a groan.  Xander grinned.  "That may make things easier sometimes."

"It may," he agreed dryly.  "But it's not making my head hurt any less."

Xander gave him a hug.  "It's possible that it was meant so you couldn't get a final incarnation."

The Doctor stared at him.  "It might," he sighed.  He looked at his son, who was sucking up to Dawn.  "Is Jack pregnant?"  She nodded with a smirk.  "Is that why you're...."  He waved a hand.

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"Why?" the Doctor asked casually.

Evan coughed as he walked into the medical center.  "Because we caught Ianto with a used condom," he said quietly.  "That way Jack doesn't go batshit crazy when he finally dies."

The Doctor considered that.  "That's most ...odd."

Xander smirked.  "Nine would've sworn."

"I am mentally but I try not to in front of my son."  He took him to hold.  "Well, what shall we do about this?"

"Take a few days and think," Xander said with a shrug.  "I can't find a way to undo it."  The Doctor stared at him.  "If I hadn't stopped it, you'd be back in Five or Six right now.  Quickly moving back to One."

The Doctor shook his head.  "No thank you.  Though we will have to work out this whole clothing issue.  My former incarnations weren't all splendid dressers like I am or Eleven is."

Xander smirked.  "Why did you wear that celery stick pinned to your lapel?"

"You know, I don't remember right off," he admitted with a smirk.

Xander stared at him.  "We can work on something so the size and height changes don't ruin your clothes."

"That may help, yes.  What am I going to do about this?"

"I don't know.  But if you have to show up somewhere that had seen you before, you can switch back."

"Will he get stuck if someone tries to do something?" Dawn asked.

"No.  The spell going on completely killed the barriers between incarnations."  He looked at the Doctor again.  "So sometimes you can be One if you want to be or you can be Eleven and go drive Amy insane again."

"Amy will be insane about my son," he admitted.  "Rose would be cackling about all this."  Xander smiled.  "I know, those two would clash badly."

"At least Amy doesn't have a real crush on you."

"No, thankfully."  He looked at his staring son.  "I don't know, it's not how things usually happen."

Xander's phone beeped.  He looked at the message.  "Shit, another one?"  He waved and disappeared, going to Atlantis to find another former 'pet Xander' owner.  This one actually a female.  "Did we have a temporal breach?" he asked casually.

"Well, yes.  But you predicted that one."  She smiled.

Xander stared at her.  "Radek, this is Helate.  This is Radek, the husband."

She smiled at him and held out her hand.  He shook it.  "Well met, Radek.  I know I couldn't keep his interest in the long term.  Xander, can you help me get home?"

"Yup."  He summoned his wardrobe and got her into it, taking her home.  Then he came back.  A few of the new people were giving him odd looks.  He smirked.  "Radek helped with my precision."  He looked at Radek.  "Doc's having a problem.  The other guardian let him switch between numbers," he said quietly.  "He's on Ever with Dawn."

"I will go calm him down."  He took the wardrobe with him.  Xander flashed back to his office to get back to work.  The Doctor would show up when he wanted to talk.  Right then he had looked like he wanted to cuddle his son.  Xander was going over what had happened and the spell at the moment to find something new he could do to help.  Though it was nice to have the old Doctors back sometimes.  Eleven was a bit...odd now and then.

The other linguists were all staring at him.  "Xander, is that something we're working on?" one asked finally.

"No, I'm looking up a reference for someone," he admitted.  "Why?"  He looked over at them.

"Is it for that same being that just showed up?"

"Yup.  Someone screwed with him and is upsetting his son."

"He has a son?" that linguist asked.

"Yeah.  He's a cute baby."  He handed over the picture with a grin.  "Likes to puke on Rodney."  He went back to his research then sent the book, once he had put a sticky note in place, to Dawn.  Then he got back to his real job.

"Xander, was that maybe a Tardis that appeared?" another one asked quietly.

Xander smirked.  "No comment."  They all groaned.  "How far along are we on these new parts?"

"About sixty percent," one sighed, getting back to it.  Xander wasn't a slave driver but they were suddenly getting a lot of work from another source.  They weren't sure who Eterna was but she wasn't an AI they knew.

***

The Ninth Doctor showed up for dinner, sitting down next to Xander and Evan.  Evan took the baby since he was reaching for him and cooing.  "Hey, Little Doc."  He let him grab some of his vegetables to eat.

"That's freaky, I never wanted veggies," Xander quipped.

"Not everyone can thrive on twinkies," the Doctor said with a smirk.

"True."  They shared a smirk.  "Did it help?"

"Quite a lot actually.   I feel much more settled yet still very creeped out."  He took his son back.  "You can eat your own food, not his.  Evan needs to eat so Xander can keep him up all night."

Evan snorted, shaking his head.  "I have military drills in the morning.  There's no squealing for me tonight."  John, Rodney, and Radek walked in together.  "We're all here," he quipped.

"I thought that bit of quietness I have now was him," the Doctor said quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "You're only partially linked in to them, Doc.  I promise it's not the full thing."

"I realize that."

"That's the other reason you're not back at the beginning."

"Which is a nice thought.  I dress much better now."  The baby fussed, staring at Rodney.

"As long as you don't vomit on me this time," he sighed, taking the baby to hold.  "How did this happen?"

"The Black Guardian," Xander said quietly.  "So far no one's talked to him yet.  Thankfully Donna and Ianto's little helpful thing both made sure that he kept all his memories."

"Interesting," Radek said, taking the baby to hold as he sat down.  The baby beamed at him and tried for his glasses.  "No, must not have.  I need them to see."  He kissed the fingers then held them.  The baby fussed but stared at Mira when she climbed up.  "Yes, it is your nest and cribmate."  He let the baby sit on the table with the dragons.  They cooed and petted the baby, making him happy.

"Some day I'll have to see if he wants a sacred egg of his own," the Doctor quipped.  They all smirked.  "What are we going to do about this?"

Xander shrugged.  "I couldn't see a way to undo it.  Maybe if I was there, but not without causing a massive paradox."

"No, I'd rather not see another of those," he decided.  He petted the two dragons, earning happy snuffles, though Armand stared.  "It was one of the higher beings," he told him.  The dragon seemed happy enough with that explanation and went back to playing with the baby.

Rodney shook his head at Mira's antics.  "Don't anticipate one of those for our own for years yet, Mira."  She huffed but ignored him.  He looked at the Doctor, who smirked.  "We did put that quilt safely away, Xander?"

"Yeah."  He grinned.  "Though, Nila said if more spores happened on Atlantis, she'd put it in a nice gathering area so her daughter city could have more family."

"Keller would kill us all," John said with a smirk.

"I wasn't too thrilled myself for a day but he's worth all the heartburn, gas, and stomach cramps I had," the Doctor sighed.  Cam walked in and stared.  Xander waved him over.  "You lot should be eating."  They went to get food, and seconds for Xander, then came back with an extra tray for him and the baby.  The cooks had seen the baby and chopped up some vegetables for him.  "Ah, thank you," he called with a smile and a wave.  He settled in to feed the baby, ignoring the begging dragons.  "You have human feeding slaves," he reminded them when Mira tried to capture the spoon.

Rodney waved his fork and she shifted over to eat half his dinner for him.  "Now I see why I've lost ten pounds."

"Pants fit again?" John quipped.

"Yes."  He huffed.

Armand looked at his human, who grinned and gave him half the stuff on his plate and Evan's.  "Hey!" Evan complained.  A few of the biologists brought them food to nibble on.  "Thanks for saving my dinner, guys."

"I would've fed you more," Xander said with a wink.

"I still have military drills tomorrow."  He stuffed his mouth.

John snickered.  "Don't remind me."  He finished his and Mira leaned over to eat his plate on him.  "Thanks, Mira, very helpful."

Armand scarfed the other plates once they were clean, and the trays.  "Are we starved?" Xander asked dryly.  "Are you two growing again?"  They both purred at him.  "That explains why you've been so hungry tonight."  He shook his head.

"The only thing they won't try to eat is a dirty diaper," Rodney reminded him.

"Yeah, that was funny when they ran from the first one."  He petted Armand.

The Doctor looked at him.  "They are very fun and unique beings."  He petted Armand then Mira when she pouted at him.  "You're both horribly spoiled."  They meeped and cuddled in better.  The baby was napping so it was fine.

Cam stared at the baby, then at the Doctor.  "He seems like he's a nice boy."

"He is a very nice boy.  Hardly ever gets cranky with me.  When he does, we watch time stream past us and it's soothing."

"Just wait until the terrible twos," John joked with a smirk.

"Would that be two's, twenties, or two hundreds?" Rodney quipped back.

"I remember spending most of my two hundreds in pleasurable pursuits," the Doctor admitted, thinking back.  "If I remember right, I had a lot of fun."

Xander snickered.  "No need for a fake ID?" he teased.

"No, I looked particularly old at that time," he agreed dryly.  "Though I do remember being a child.  I didn't have many tantrums."  He shook his head quickly.  "Do we have any idea why Dawn did what she did spontaneously?"

"Owen dropped her down under hypnosis," Xander said quietly.  "It was the Key welcoming the new race of Time Lords.  They're meant to be her foil in power levels."  The Doctor stared at him.  "You have control of time and space and it would have control of dimensional time and space."

"Good point.  I hadn't considered that."  He patted his son's stomach since he was curled up between the plates.   "So she's nurturing the new race?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  "There's only two of us."

"Actually, she's doing the same thing for Jack's child," Evan said.  "I noticed it earlier."

"So possibly three of us," the Doctor said with a grin.

Radek shook his head.  "I heard what she said.  'Not all that travel through time are Time Lords but for this it is the same' to quote her."

The Doctor gaped then looked at Xander.  "That's almost a quote I told your heads when they showed up in London," he said calmly.

"Well."  He cleared his throat.  "That's...  odd."

"She was also counting Rose," Radek told him, earning a small smile.  "She said something about it not being totally the same but it was better anyway."

"True, it is."  He relaxed.  "What about you two?" he asked Rodney.

"Apparently in the future you sent me to stop France in this time zone, a few times," Rodney said.  "We've heard a hint that someone does fulfill his vision about the temporal displacement issue on Atlantis."

The Doctor blinked.  "That would be a powerful engine."

"Unless someone like me intervened and created a fake border," Xander countered.  "Which would still leave it but it would be shrunk some to anyone outside the city.  Like the Tardis' space encompassing spells."

"I thought that was technological," Radek said.  Xander shook his head quickly.  "We're sure?"

"Yeah, the guy was basically using magic without realizing it.  There's a book on it at the coven's library.  How do you think I made mine?"  They all stared at him so he smirked back.  "I had a broken ankle.  I couldn't even weed the garden.  Armand hadn't hatched yet.  I got *real* bored and Clorisma sent me a bunch of esoteric works to look through to see if anything like that interested me for a major working I'd have to prove myself with."

"I would like to look that book over," the Doctor said casually.

"I copied it.  It's in my library.  On the west shelf."  That got a smirk.  "By the way, I saw the Time Lord's version of the Ori freakish bitch again."

"The Rani?" the Doctor asked.

"Yup.  River Song was around here somewhere yesterday and I kicked her off.  She just smirked and left when I spotted her.  I checked, she didn't get near Nila, just stared at the docked labs."

"Did we do a systems check?" Rodney asked.  "I remember running into her that once and there was something odd about her."

"I'm pretty sure the Rani and the Time Lords were originally the same people," Xander said.  "So they're like the Ori for the Doc."

"She was cast out, like the Master," the Doctor admitted.  "The last I knew she wasn't River Song however.  I have forward hints that I traveled with Doctor Song."

Xander stared at him.  "That didn't make her good."

"I gave her my old screwdriver."

Xander stared at him.  "What did you tell me?  Always watch out for the Rani, she'd want to keep me...."

"And watch out for the Toymaker, he's a bit of a twisted being who'd definitely want to keep you," he finished.  "Are you certain?"

"She was wearing a time dilation crystal."  The Doctor gave him an odd look.  "Which could've only come from two spots in the universe.  Both of which you have hidden."

"She knew my original name."

Xander nodded.  "She's about your age too," he said dryly.  "Did we perhaps go to school with her?"

"Not that I remember."  He thought back then shook his head.  "She was before my time.  I don't see how she and River Song can be the same."

"How would a mere Companion get into a place that's trapped in a time vortex?" Xander countered.

"Time vortex?" Rodney asked.

"Yes, they're all over the time stream and they make me Tardis-sick," Xander said with a grin.  "I calmed a few down before I puked."  He looked at the Doctor.  "Not even *I* can get into those two without you knowing."

He considered that.  "The Sontarans were supposed to have four somewhere in a museum but they were lost to time supposedly when someone realized how much problems they could bring.  The Daleks supposedly had one on their home world as well."  He frowned.  "How would she get back that far to get one?  I'd never visit either of those places."

"Neither would the Tardis, or mine," Xander said.  "I made sure I blocked out the Sontaran homeworld as a 'no-go' place.  By the way, caught a Weeping Angel the other day and blew it to hell.  Someone shipped it to the Mountain as a diplomatic present."

The Doctor smiled.  "Excellent.  Any others?"

"Not yet but I am hearing rumors or a single Sontaran down here somewhere.  I haven't been able to track it and neither has Ianto."

"Do let me know."

Xander pointed at the baby.  "Hell no.  A single one we can handle."  He stared at him.  "I will be able to if Jack can't because his stomach gets in the way."

"True.  You did handle most of a battle troupe that once."  He gave him a dirty look.

"You had the flu," Xander reminded him with a grin.  "Not like I was going to take Rose to the ambush."

"How accurate was the show?" one of the chemists said as he sat down with his tray next to Radek.

Xander smirked.  "It was Jack's idea so some people realized when they showed up.  That way anytime a floating art deco trashcan with weapons shows up you can go 'Dalek' and blow it to hell."

"Why?" the chemist asked.  "I realize why we needed to know but why do that over so long?"

"So it wouldn't be forgotten when the next big bad thing comes," Xander said simply.  The Doctor glared at him.  "We've had two this century."

"True.  I'm hoping I never have to run into another Dalek again."

"I've built him a safety pod," Radek said quietly.  The Doctor beamed at him for that.  "It will take him from anywhere to Dawn or one of us."

"Thank you, Radek."

"It is no problem but we know you, like Xander, cannot stay out of trouble."  Dawn strolled in wearing leather pants and a halter top.  "Going home to tempt your boyfriend?" he teased with a smile.

"Yuppers."  She kissed Xander on the cheek.  "They're behaving and Eterna will call.  I need nookie."

"Sure, I'll pop around tonight," he promised.  She beamed and kissed the Doctor on the cheek before strolling off.  "I think her sister taught her that move," he sighed.

"That was almost exactly like Jack's swagger," Rodney countered with an evil smirk.  "Especially when he wanted Ianto's attention on his ass."

"True.  So maybe she does get it naturally."  The Doctor snickered.  "She's going to be a wonderful sister."

"She will, yes."  He relaxed.  "Do we think this was meant to drive me insane?"

"No, I think he wanted you without memories of your past interactions so he could have you do something for him," Xander admitted.  "Though it would extend your life a lot if you can't get into a twelfth incarnation."  The Doctor gave him a dirty look.  "Most likely you'd just go to another one."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "Hmm."  He looked at his son, who was now snoring.  "You must get that from your father, son.  I've never snored."

"Amy said that was a lie," Xander said dryly.  The Doctor pinched him on the arm.  "She did!"

"He mate did too."  He smiled at them.  "It'll be fine."  They all smirked.  "Though I have no idea how to babyproof the Tardis."

"She won't let him get into anything he shouldn't.  She's already kept him out of the garden I put in."

"True, which is nice.  Though we do go in and play among the plants.  All your little protective vines adore him.  They pat him on the diaper and even tried to change him once."  Xander smirked.  "It was quite odd to walk in with his bottle and find your vines stripping my poor son down.  Though they did appreciate being peed on."

"Probably needed watered," Xander said dryly.

"Probably, yes."  He grinned.  Xander grinned back.  "What am I going to do if Jack's is mine?"

"Take him and Ianto with you until they're mouthy teenagers?  Then let them decide to either build their own Tardis or go rescue one of the lost ones, or even steal the one from the Rani?" Xander suggested.

"And that damnable quilt before Atlantis decides she wants children on the city," Rodney said quickly.

"It's safely stored," Xander assured him.

"Can she get to it?  She's promised to put it out if we ever get spored again," John told him.

"Nila promised to help," Radek said, shaking his head.  "As long as it does not end up on our bed."

"Never," Xander said.  "I'd feel it."  He smiled.  They all smirked back.

"There's lost Tardis?" the Doctor demanded.

"Doc, before the war started, they banished a few people that didn't agree with the Council's methodology," Xander said.  He summoned that book to hand him.  "Plus any that the Paradox Faction had.  I'm guessing there's probably about twenty out there somewhere."

"I've never run into another one, Xander."  Xander flipped in the book to that section, pointing at something.  "Oh, dear, they set them adrift after making sure they could not counteract the will of the Council."

"Now, having seen one, which was being destroyed by gamma radiation," Xander said dryly.  The Doctor gaped at him.  "I couldn't save it.  I did do the merciful thing.  Her master was dead.  She was dying."  The Doctor slumped but nodded.  "I let mine interface with hers and she sent out a lot of information.  They were poisoned before being sent off through the void portal."

The Doctor swallowed.  "So they are out there, alone."

"I think a few dying are what caused some of the time vortex's," Xander said.

"I hadn't thought about why some formed."  He tapped his fingers a few times.  "How would we recall them?"

"Dawn."

The Doctor stared at him then smirked.  "I'll do what I can."  Xander smiled and nodded.  "Though, I agree, that quilt had better be safely stored where no one else can get to it.  That way I don't have to do that again.  Not that I minded but I probably would not have chosen that manner of having a child."

"I'm not the one who put the quilt down," Xander reminded him dryly.  "Eterna did."

The Doctor and Rodney moaned, shaking their heads.  "It figures," John decided.  "The AI's all mother hen us when we need them to.  She probably decided you needed him to be happy."

"Perhaps," the Doctor sighed.  He looked at the book.  "When did you get this one?"

"During the trial I confiscated a few helpful things."  He smirked.  "They weren't going to need them.  Better not to have them wasted."

The Doctor stared at him.  "You looted the main library?"

"Yeah, especially the forbidden section."  He pointed with a smirk.  "That was something they didn't want to get out."

"I can see why."  He went back to reading.  He hadn't known some of this about his own people's history.

"I'm guessing they gave you the edited version, like the pilgrims story all American children learn," John said.

"Probably," the Doctor agreed.

The new general appeared.  "Xander, I think we need you...."  He stared at the Doctor.  "We have a strange alien that's burbling at us?  Big head, looks like a Japanese cartoon?"

"Slitheen," the Doctor and Xander said together.  "Shoot them."

"Okay, we can do that.  Will a zat or a staff weapon work?"

Xander stood up.  "I'll be right back."  He took the general with him, letting him catch his breath.  "Sorry, it can make you dizzy traveling by blippy."  He walked into the heavily guarded area.  All the soldiers pointed.  Xander stared at them.  "The Doctor's too busy to deal with you today.  What did you want?"  It babbled at him.  "Hell no."  He snorted.  "I'd leave before I call Jack Harkness at Torchwood."  The aliens babbled faster.  Xander stared at them.  They squeaked and left.  "And stay off Earth!" he called.  "I'm in a damn good mood today!"  He left, shaking his head.  "They wanted us to send all of them to a new homeworld."

"Fat chance of that happening," John muttered.

"How likely is it that we'll have a major problem this year from something alien?" Cam asked Rodney.  "Without pushing for forward knowledge or anything?"

Rodney, the Doctor, and Xander all shared a look.  "A few years on the wraith," Xander said quietly.  "They'd stop at intervening solar systems for rest breaks and food stops."

"I'd say they'd get here about when the doomsday cults would start to get hyper," Rodney agreed.  "We theorized about three years so 2012."

"Don't you dare," the Doctor ordered, staring at Rodney.

Rodney shook his head.  "We'll be ready in time," he told Cam.  "But it won't be this year for anything but a semi-bad demon apocalypse attempt again.  At least that's what Xander's biography said."

"When did you get that?" the Doctor demanded.

"The same time."  Xander smirked and summoned it, looking at that section.  "They got the time code wrong on that.  That'll be a few years.  We'll have to warn Buffy when the thing start to stir."  He let him see it.

"I beat that a few years back," the Doctor complained.

"The rest of this decade, we'll have two major alien incursions," he told them.  "Neither this year."  They all nodded.  "But..."  He held up a finger.  "Only one for UNIT or the SG to be involved in."

"So, you guys will have one and we'll have one?" Cam asked.

"Something like that," the Doctor agreed, giving Xander a dirty look.

"Rodney, Radek, and I need to build some bigger weapons," Xander pointed out.

"True.  What did you do with that star destroyer?"

"I used it on a wraith hive."

"Huh.  Good.  Yes, the others won't be involved because someone will want to do a last ditch 'we won't be taken' move," the Doctor said.

"Which I might end up in jail for after I kick his ass," Xander said.  "Jack already knows."

"He should, it was a history lesson to him."

"But... we can possibly avert that one before it gets here to make it easier," Xander said.

The Doctor nodded.  "That might help some, yes.  Usually I don't get to stop problems before they start."  Xander drew out the probabilities for him, showing him the curve.  He figured out the other options that Xander didn't usually take into account, nodding finally.  "Yes, we can do that.  It might change the timeline but in a very tiny way."

"Which won't really impact much," Xander said.  "Though we will have to unmask a politician."

"Who?" Rodney asked.

Xander smirked.  "One of ours."

"Oooh.  Alien?"

"Yup.  Shape changer."  That got a mass nod.  "So we'll do what we can to stop that one cold.  Which means we'll need some ship time," he told John and Cam, getting dual nods back.  "The other one they're going to cause a problem and UNIT will throw a fit.  An absolutely hissy, it's not your job it's ours, fit."

"The normal UNIT people will do what they have to do while the higher ups fight," John said.  "Same as the SG does."

"Yeah but they're going to be in England," Xander said dryly.  "So we'd have to be tapped to step in by UNIT or Torchwood.  I was going to remind Jack of that tomorrow actually when I had a few free hours."  He closed the book, letting the Doctor take it.  He shrank them to put in his pocket.

"Thank you.  How many have read yours?"  Evan and Radek raised their hands.

"I read a few sections," Cam admitted.  "It appeared on his desk when he was in the bed after surgery on his hip."

"It's how we busted him with some of the stuff he didn't want to admit to doing," Evan said.

"Cam thought I belonged to an Ancient Book of the Month club," Xander quipped with a hand wave.

The Doctor snickered.  "It wouldn't surprise me any, Xander.  Nothing you pull out would."

"Really?" he asked with a grin.  "Including .... say.... that semi-bridal present?"

The Doctor stared at him.  "Why did he give you a present when he wanted to kidnap and own me?"

"Because he thought I was your family or concubine."

"Oh.  Well that's just wrong."

Xander grinned.  "It's still in its storage area.  Along with the others and that would help that one situation."

The Doctor stared at him.  "That would be much too future of tech and they should not see it."

"You know, I'm privy to much future tech that I shouldn't see," Rodney said dryly.  Radek nodded.  "Even without his storage areas.  Especially since, with the hints the future me has given, Atlantis will be a Tardis someday soon."

The Doctor stared at him.  "Can't we stop that?"

"No, it'll be too future changing," Xander sighed.  "I can make sure they get back.  I've given them both clues in how to drive mine."

"Good!"  He smirked.  "Do try to hurry back."

"We'd try," John agreed.

"You'd overshoot too," Xander assured him.  "I looked ahead at what that one was saying and it's bad.  We have *got* to stop the French."

"You are not Special Forces," Radek reminded him.  Xander stared at him.  "We can stop them and you will not have to act like you did with the Trust's board."  Xander beamed at him.

"We can't use the same sort of explosive anyway, it would react poorly with the one they're trying to build," Rodney said.  He sighed.  "We know who's going to do it."  He pointed subtly up the table.  "He's working on his own theories."

Xander got up and walked up there, sitting next to him, but facing him.  "We have an issue we're foreseeing."

"How?" he asked.

"I've been known to do some temporal traveling."

The man nodded slowly.  "What sort of issue?"

"The sort where some of your research ends the earth for good."  The man blanched.  "You're working on a ZPM formula.  The French dearly want it.  The French aren't going to do any better at it than Rodney did when he had a problem with his initial calculations.  That destroyed most of a solar system."  The man shook his head slowly.  "Yeah.  They're wanting ZPM weapons."

"Oh, shit," he murmured.  "When?"

"Within fifteen years.  By the way, some of them are kinda off in the math department.  Ancient math isn't the same as ours."  He stared at him.

"I will not let that get out, Harris.  Not by any means!"

"Good!"  He smiled.  "I'm warning you now so we can fight it then."

"Definitely!  I don't want to be responsible for it!"

"Good."  Xander smiled.  "Just make sure of it."

"I will.  When did they get it?"

"When someone discredited part of your work here, you went there to work with them.  Basically you pulled a Daniel Jackson in the scientific community."

"Shit!"  He got up.  "I'll fix them both at the same time.  Thank you for the warning, Harris."

"It's nothing we want to see, Dr. Imaran."  The man walked off shaking his head.  Xander went back to his seat, looking at them.  "He'll make sure the French don't and that whatever reason got him discredited won't."

"That may solve the most of it.  They have some bits and pieces the IOA handed over," Rodney said.

"Ancient math and human math, different species," Xander reminded him.

"Shit.  We never told them that part."  He went to call Ferretti so he could pas that on.

Xander smiled at the Doctor.  "That might help a lot."

"That probably will help a great deal.  You did something similar in Hyath."

"Yeah, I did.  I went right to him and played soothsayer.  He decided he could not let that happen and made sure of it."  He stared at him.  "He did the honorable thing," he finished quietly.

"That did solve it and caused another problem but it was solved with his letter," the Doctor agreed with a small smile.  "Thank you."

"Not a problem, Doc.  Really."  He looked at the baby.  "You're awake again?" he teased with a smile, taking him to cuddle.  "Were we too loud?"  The baby played with his hair, sucking his first two fingers for now.  "Such a good baby Doctor."  The baby smiled at him.  "I'm glad you're a happy baby.  A fussy one would drive Doc nuts."

"So would a daughter," the Doctor admitted dryly.  "Want to sit with me?"

"I'm his favorite godparent," Xander pointed out dryly.  "He knows who spoils him."

"Yes you do.  Terribly so."

"I'm not giving him a temporal toy yet," Xander quipped.

"Thank your Goddess."  He took his son back, earning a babbling, happy baby.  "We'll pick you up a few new toys soon, son.  Martha will help us tons."

"Yes she will.  Are you going to tell Amy?"

"Quite."  He smiled.  "She'll dote on the little one.  The same as Sarah Jane will."

"She's got a son," Xander said with a smug look.  "We can call a Companion's conference at Torchwood if you want."

"Please.  I'd like to introduce him to them."  Xander got into his cellphone to text everyone.  The rest of them followed.  They were Xander's companions and Xander had been his so they wanted to talk.  Rodney did show up with his own band, which got snatched by Ianto.

***

Xander landed in Scotland, looking at the modest little house.  "That's sweet," he said, walking up to the door to knock.  "Amy."

"Do I know you?" she asked dryly.

"I'm Xander.  Doc sent me to pick you up.  The other Companions are meeting tonight."  He grinned.  "C'mon."  She grabbed her jacket and followed him to his wardrobe.

"Why isn't yours a phone box?"

"Mine fits in better even back in ancient times," he said dryly.  "They gave phone boxes a really odd look back in Ancient Rome and things."  He opened the door.

She walked in and looked around.  "Purple sparkles?"

"I was recovering after something and I decorated then."  He shut the door and took off with her.

***

Jack looked at his phone, smiling.  "Doc's showing off the little one to everyone in a bit," he told Ianto, taking a kiss.  "They're all coming here."

"That's fine."  He got things ready for the invasion of people.  A few got beamed in by Martha and one got gathered by Xander himself.

They landed at Torchwood and he let her out.  "Here we are."  He smirked at the others.

"You built your own?" Martha demanded.

"Yeah, a while back, Martha."  He smirked.  "Thought I only had my blippy bands?"

"Yes!  You're dangerous, Xander!"

"Only if you piss me off," he shot back with an evil smirk.  "Just for that, I won't show you the gift someone gave me because they wanted to kidnap and marry Doc."

"Oh, please, no stories like that," Sarah Jane Smith complained.

Xander grinned.  "Probably not."  He pointed.  "Amy Pond, this is Sarah Jane, this is Martha Jones.  That is Mickey, I can't remember his last name.  He's hitched to Martha.  That is Jack Harkness and his helpful mate Ianto Jones."

"Pleasure," she said, smiling and shaking hands.  "Did you all travel with him?"  They all smirked and nodded.  "With the same one I have?"

"No, I did mostly Nine and Ten," Jack said.

"I did get to meet a few of them," Sarah Jane admitted.

"Yes, I seemed to see a lot of Ten," Martha said with a grin.

"I got Nine and Ten," Mickey said.  "How is Eleven?"

"A bit odd.  Always going odd in the head and off on tangents.  When he showed up he didn't know what he wanted to eat but I cooked him a ton of things and then he kept spitting them out.  It was like he wasn't used to normal food."

"He's not," they all agreed.

"Xander made him eat coffee flavored slugs," Jack said with a grin at Xander.

"They were good slugs," Xander said with a shrug.  The others showed up with the Doctor.  "These are part-time companions who have also traveled with me.  This is Colonel John Sheppard, Dr. Rodney McKay, Colonel Evan Lorne and Dr. Radek Zelenka, who are mine, and that is Dr. Kusangi.  Hi, Miko.  I didn't expect you."

"I needed to talk to Owen about something," she said with a blush.

"He should be wobbling back to complain that Dawn jumped him soon," Jack said with a grin.  "You were on Ever with us, you can wait, Miko."

"Thank you."  She smiled at the baby.  "May I?"

"Of course."  He handed him over.  "He does adore you, Miko."  He smiled at the shocked looks on everyone but the new one's faces.  "Xander has a quilt that can get anyone who has relations on it pregnant."

"Yes he does," Jack said dryly.

Martha stared at him.  "You're clearly showing now."

"Yes I am," he sighed.  He sat down.  "She weighs a ton too."

"She?" the Doctor asked with a smile.  Jack nodded.  "Hmm.  Dawn will be pleased to have someone to shop with."

"Yes she will," Xander agreed.  "Guys, this is the Little Doc."  They all crowded around to coo at him, even Martha and Mickey.

Amy looked at him.  "You changed already?"

"No, someone kindly sent me back to a prior incarnation.  I can change a bit now and then when I want to."  He went back to Nine, getting a punch on the arm from Martha.  "Xander had to stop the Black Guardian's idea."

Martha looked at Xander.  "Can't we help him stick in one?"  He shook his head.  "So he can change?"

"Yup, and thanks to Donna being sucked into him when he regenerated from Ten to Eleven, he has all his memories still.  So it's like Doctor MPD."

"Well, at least they're not lost," she decided, giving him a hug.  "The baby's still quite adorable."

"I'm thinking about how to baby proof the Tardis," he admitted.  He sat down and let them fuss over the baby and him.  It was a companion's right to fuss.

Amy looked at him.  "Does that mean you'll be settling down for a bit?"

"No, but I'll be handling less dangerous things until he's older.  Can't get into a situation where we could all die with him around."

"I built a pod to take him to one of us in case of emergency," Radek told them.  They all smiled at him for that.  He and Evan were fluttering over Xander.

"Xander, why did you make such a quilt?" Sarah Jane asked.  "Were you going to use it?"

"No, someone else who wanted me in that special way made it.  I just stole it when I escaped her plans for a little Xander."  She and Amy gaped.  "Yeah.  When I was traveling on my own, a lot of people thought I'd look wonderfully cute as slave girl Xander.  Just like Princess Leia."

"We burned all those outfits that reminded us of her slavegirl outfit," Evan assured him.  Xander smiled and kissed him.

"So, how did he get knocked up then?" Mickey asked.  Jack gave him a pointed look.  Mickey blushed and ducked his head.  "I didn't know he did that!"

"Not very often at my age," the Doctor quipped sarcastically.  "When you get older you'll realize that happens less and less."

"That's why humans created viagra," Amy quipped with a grin.

"And why Owen took that spore plant and put it into a sexual lubricant," Radek assured them.

Martha gaped.  "*The* spore plant?"  They all smirked and nodded.  "Well, hell, I know people who'd pay a mint for that."

"The SGC needs funding," Evan quipped.

"Clearly," she decided.  She shook her head quickly.

"Spore?" Mickey asked.

"It's a pretty silver flower that vomits a spore every six months.  The spore's whole purpose is to make people screw and have babies," Xander said.  "It'll encourage you to find the most fertile person you can and do that.  That's how the spores get onto the ground with enough biological contributions to plant itself."  Mickey shivered.  "For many days after you get hit."

"Four of them," the Doctor said with a nod.

"It sounds dangerous," Sarah Jane said.

"It's found all over the universe," Jack told her.  "A lot of people like it because it encourages population growth.  It's also started a few wars about whose baby it was.  I've seen whole marketplaces fall down to screw because of that plant."

"I saw a whole city do it," John said dryly.  "Twice."

Amy gaped.  "Why would you need something like that?"

"It's an alternative to viagra and will make their project a lot of money," Mickey told her with a shrug.  "Being their project is expensive, just like being in UNIT is."

"Especially with the new ship building," Rodney said smugly.

Martha pouted.  "You're building more than the new ones?"  He smirked and nodded.  "Are we getting one?"

"We'll see.  Talk to O'Neill."

"I'll do that tomorrow."  She cooed at the baby.  "You're so adorable!"

"We are not ready for one of those," Mickey complained.  She hit him on the arm.  "Ow!"

Sarah Jane snickered.  "He's sweet enough to make me want another one and mine's a teenager."  She took the baby to hold.  "Hello there, young man."  She got cuddled and cooed at.  "You're very friendly."

"Dawn fed him," Jack told her with a grin.

"She's had one?" she demanded.  "At her age?  I know Owen knows what birth control is!"

"She spontaneously started to produce milk," Ianto told her.

"Awww.  That's sweet of her."  She cooed at the baby, making him babble back at her.  The others cooed at that.

The Doctor sat down next to Jack.  "So, should we be talking perhaps?" he asked.

Jack looked at him.  "Who's his father?" he asked quietly.

"Ianto as it turns out."  Ianto blushed but smiled.  "He'll definitely dress very well."  He winked at him then looked at Jack, who sighed and nodded.  "Xander suggested we travel together for the safety of the children until they're teenagers and ready to learn to build their own."

"It would be much safer."  He rubbed his stomach.  The Doctor rubbed it as well.  Martha smiled at them.  Amy gave them an odd look.  "The quilt," Jack told her.

"It can really do that to human males?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Oh, dear."

"It's safely stored," Xander assured her.

"Thank God!"  The others laughed.  "How did you build your own, Xander?"

"It's not that hard but it's very technical."

"Are you from this time zone?" she asked.

"Yeah.  I graduated in 1999 from a school in California."

"He's the only American companion outside of Jack," Ianto said with a smile for him.

"I'm only part American so he can have that honor."  Xander walked into his wardrobe and came back with a bag, handing it over.  "Oh, I adore you," he moaned, eating one of the candies.  He let Ianto have one with a smile.  "I crave these things now and then."

He tasted it.  "Made with those figs you like?" he asked.

"And some special seaweed," Xander said with a grin.  "Another pet-keeping Xander ex made them and I got him hooked."  He smirked.  "I did plant some of that seaweed on Ever in the pond.  The greenhouse has a tree of those figs too."

"Don't tempt me," Jack ordered, eating another one.  "I'll get too fat to waddle."  He handed the bag to Ianto to put up for him.  "That way I'm not too fat to walk later either."

Ianto smirked at him but put the bag in his pocket.  "Do you think ours will be that sweet?"

"No, she'll be an unearthly tease," Xander told him dryly, giving him a look.  "The same as the other one is."

"True, Dawn does live up to my standards there."  Dawn and Owen walked in and she cooed.  The baby squealed and reached for her so she cuddled him.

"As long as we don't bring one of those home," Owen complained, shaking his head.  He looked at Ianto and Jack.  "Tired?" he taunted with a smirk.

"A little bit.  You?" Jack shot back with an evil smirk of his own.

"Very.  Your daughter is still barmy."

"Dear, for that, you don't get blown tonight," Dawn quipped with a look at him.

"I doubt I could be after earlier," he shot back, making Martha cackle.  "She's clearly her father's daughter."

"I don't know, she looks more like her mother," Martha teased.

"Well, Mom did teach me how to dress," Dawn quipped.  The baby patted her so she smiled at him.  "Yes, Little Doc?"  He beamed and babbled some more.  "I think Xander infected you with wanting to be the center of attention," she teased.

Sarah Jane took him to hold.  "Most boys do."  He cooed at her, getting a kiss on the forehead.  "There's days I almost wished my son was still your age.  He was fun then.  Not like now as a teenager."

"Just don't make a real wish," Jack cautioned.  Owen snickered.  Gwen and Tosh came in from a problem call.  "Ladies."

Gwen stared.  "Who's that then?" she asked.  "My baby's about your size."  She smiled.  The baby howled and screamed.  "Sorry!"  She backed off.

Xander looked at her then shrugged.  "That's the baby Doctor."

"Oh!"  She looked at the Doctor, who smiled and nodded.  The ladies got him calmed down and cooing again.  "He's gorgeous."

"Yes he is," he said proudly.  "Much like his other father is."  He smirked at Ianto, who could only blush at that.  "Ladies, it was suggested we travel lightly until he's a teenager and able to decide for himself if he wants to build his own tardis."

"Don't take him yet," Amy said, taking the baby back.  "Such a little darling!  My husband would crap houses if I wanted one of you already."  Sarah Jane snickered.  "We've only been married a year."

"Then yes, it's much too early," she assured her with a smile.  "They're fun at that age.  All the cute clothes, the playing, the teaching them things.  Then they turn into teenagers who sulk and pout because the girl they want to stalk isn't into them."

Xander snickered.  "He'll grow into dating instead of following her around with the mop and drool bucket, Sarah Jane."

"I hope so.  It's almost distressing.  I had to consider what he might do with one."

"Do we need help giving him the sex talk?" Jack asked her.

"Oh, dear lord no.   We've had a good one with him that included a chastity belt discussion.  Too bad I can't find one."  Xander went into his wardrobe, horrifying her.  He handed her one when he came back.  "You have one?"

"It was a gift from a past boyfriend," Evan assured her with a smug look.  "Please take it."

She smiled.  "Thank you, boys.  I like you two more than I do anything I've heard about the past ones."  She pinched Xander on the cheek.  "Though you're still a naughty boy."

"Yes he is," Martha said dryly.

"If I make your husband jealous, then he'll pounce you more," Xander quipped.

Mickey nodded.  "Yes I did."  Martha swatted him but he smiled.  "I know I can compete against him even if I can't compete against any other fantasy men."  She smiled at him.  "We're still not having one of those.  The Generals would throw a bloody fit."

"Let 'em, it's good for their blood pressure," John said with a shrug.  "Ours do and feel better for it."

"Is that usually Xander's fault?" Martha teased with a smirk for Xander.  Xander shook his head.

"A few of his former lovers but not present ones," Rodney assured her dryly.  She cackled at that.  "Two have shown up recently."  She shook her head.  He looked at the baby, who was staring at him.  "If I take you, would you not vomit on me this time?"  The baby cooed.  "I see."  He patted him and the baby was happy, wanting Xander again.  Xander set him in his lap.  That let him see all the human cooing slaves he had.  "We need to get you some new clothes and things."

Xander stood up with a moan, dragging Doc, the baby, and Jack, plus Ianto following, into his wardrobe.  "Be right back.  I have toys for him at home."  The door was shut and they took off.

John shook his head.  "Which storage area this time?" he asked Rodney.

"I doubt he's going to give up any of his slinky or lego sets," Evan said.

"No, I doubt it too," Rodney said dryly.  He sighed, shaking his head.  "They'll be right back."  They all smirked and nodded.  "Radek made Xander's more precise."

Radek nodded.  "It now has minute accuracy."  They all beamed at him for that.

"Can you do that to the Doctor's Tardis?" Amy asked.  "He said he'd be back in five minutes and it was twelve years.  The next time it was two years."

Radek laughed.  "I have fiddled a bit with that broken panel."

"Me too," Rodney agreed.  "He, of course, complained, so we let Xander feed him into another nap."  They all laughed at that.  Xander was known to fuss.  The wardrobe landed and Xander walked out looking happier.  "What happened?"

"Well, I kinda hit a pocket of temporal disturbance back around London," he said dryly, flopping down.  "Then my Tardis decided to adopt Ianto for a few minutes when I got some toys."

"All your aunts are waiting," the Doctor called.  "Come along."

"Coming," a male voice called.  Then a female squeal.

"So that's where I get it from," Dawn quipped.  Owen pinched her hard on the butt.  "Ow!"  She swatted him.  "Mean shit!"

The Doctor leaned out.  "We're having clothing trauma."

"I can help," Dawn offered with a smile.

"She didn't want to wear yours, Dawn."  He leaned back in then came back out.  "There."  The two teenagers, plus an eleven-year-old boy came out, he was pouting.  Jack and Ianto followed.

"Did we pick up more?" Amy teased.

"No," the pouty one said.  "I'm growing."

"Into your uncle's smooth style of attracting attention," Jack said dryly, fussing with his hair.  "What did you do this time?"

"Braids," Xander said with a grin.  "And that is why I'm the favorite godparent."  He smirked at Ianto, who laughed and nodded.  "I told you that marketplace was a bad idea for them to visit for clothes."

"Well, yes, but my sister's clothes are a bit short on me," the female said with a grimace at her sister.  "You're short."

"I'm fashionable but cute."  She stared at her.  "So you're my sister."  The others all gasped, looking at Jack, who nodded quickly.  "Huh.  Well, hey, I don't have to feed you."  She gave her a hug.  "Welcome to the family.  We can shop for you tomorrow."

"Sure."  She smiled.  "Then can you go over my Ancient?"

"Not a problem," she assured her with a hand-wave.  "We can do that all you need to."  They smirked at each other.

"I'm having visions of pulling them both out of the clubs with the bad boys," Owen said, pinching his nose closed for a second.  "Ladies?"

Dawn smirked at him.  "Mine," she said with a head nod at Owen.

"I heard.  Hi, brother-in-law."  She smiled and waved.  Then she bounced over to talk to the other women.

"Did you bounce when you were that young?" Xander teased.

"Ianto cures that for me," he shot back with a smug grin.

"That's why he doesn't get chocolate coffee any longer," Ianto said smugly.

The other two were staring around.  Dawn pulled the older one over to hug.  "If you're scared of us I get to beat you to death sparring, Little Doc."

He grinned.  "I wouldn't say that would happen.  Xander did teach me some."

"Good!  Maybe it'll keep you out of trouble."  She gave him a hug.  "There, go fuss at the women you made want to have a baby."  He got pulled over by Sarah Jane for a hug.  She looked at the other one.  "It's all right, I can help you shop too."

He smirked.  "I need leather pants when I'm older."

"You sure do and thankfully you can't steal mine."  He laughed and punched her on the arm.  She walked them both over to talk to Amy since she was looking a bit left out.

The Doctor looked at Ianto and Jack.  Then at Xander.  "We made sure that quilt is still locked up, right?"

"Yup.  It's still very locked up."  He gave him a smug look.  "Even from Nila and Atlantis, who wanted it so they had kids on board them again."

"Thank God so I don't have any," John said, looking up.  "Thanks!"  Fortunately the ceiling didn't answer.  The others relaxed and got comfortable with the older Little Doc and Destiny.  Ianto had won the coin toss about her name.  Alex, who was a little troublesome snot who wanted to prank, got along just fine with the big sister and the others.

Xander winked at Evan and Radek, who smiled back.  They all relaxed because it was good for them to see normal families.  Though they would be making sure that quilt was put away safely in case Nila or Atlantis, or the other AI's, decided that Xander needed one too.  Because that might be a disaster in the making.

The End.  End of this arc.

Arc 3

Notes: the incidences talked about in 2-2's epilogue start here.

1: Location Errors

Rodney was on Atlantis when the alert started to flash on everyone's screen.  "Is it an attack?" he called, heading for the labs.

"No, something's wrong with the main gate area," Atlantis reported.  "All communication was abruptly cut off."

Rodney sat down to hack into the satellites so he could check.  "Where's the mountain?" he demanded.  "Xander!"  Xander appeared a minute later looking concerned.  "Did Nila tell you that the Mountain got cut off?"

"Yup.  What's going on?"  Rodney pointed so he looked at the screen.  "Where's the mountain?"

"I don't know.  Go figure it out and take readings for me."  He handed him a scanner.

"Sure."  He headed that way, landing in front of the gate.  The guards were staring where the mountain should be too.  "Guys, move.  That way I can take readings."  They flinched and looked at him.  He smiled.  "Let's figure it out."  He walked forward, getting let in the fence.  "Rodney," he said, tapping his earpiece.  "Rodney?"

//Yes?//

"I'm linking to you.  They're out of phase."  He linked the scanner back to Atlantis, letting Rodney link into the feed from his end.  He moved closer.  "Yeah, she's definitely out of phase."

//Xander, it's Cam, can you 'port in?//

"No.  Not in and out again.  So I'd have to be there and cut off as well.  Now, I can port things into it I think.  I'm not totally sure how I'd do that.  I'd have to look it up.  Get into my library, the communications section, the red and blue books please?"  Jeeps started to roar up the road.  "Normals are here and I see Maybourne," he said dryly.  He walked back toward them.  "They're out of phase."

"Freeze!" one shouted, pulling his gun.

Xander stared at him.  "I'll make you fuck that," he said dryly.  "Maybourne, they're out of phase."

"Harris."  He stomped over.  "Put it down before he does make you screw it."  His people backed off and put their guns down.  "How far out of phase?"

"About fifteen seconds off normal time."  He let him see.  "We're working on it."  Two books twinkled and he bent down to pick them up, looking it over.   "I needed the other red one, Cam."

//That's the only red one you have there.  I asked Dawn since she was in there browsing.//

"Have her check Willow's stash too.  Just in case she somehow managed to steal it.  Thank you."  He got into the other book, reading over that section.  It had how to talk to someone in a different time phase than you were in.

"Explain the fifteen seconds?" Maybourne demanded.

Xander looked at him.  "They're in the right time, they didn't slip through time, but for them it's like the clock got fast forwarded fifteen seconds.  It could've went back or forward but it's went forward.  I can tell you the gate is active and I don't know why."  That got a single nod.  "Now, leave me alone so I can help solve it."

He walked off again.  One of the guards tried to get in his way so he kicked his ass then went back to reading as he walked over him.  "I need a cellphone," he called.  The other book got sent to him and he caught it before it could hit the ground.  "Thank you, dears."  Someone tossed over a cheap cellphone.

He programmed in his number and Rodney's number then charmed it like his.  That's what he had to look up.  He took a post-it from the gate guards and Maybourne's pen to write, then stuck the note to the phone and banished it at Ferretti.  "They'll be calling," he reported.  "I sent it at Ferretti.  Unless he's not in the mountain?"

//No, he's supposed to be there today,// John agreed. //What numbers does he have?//

"Mine and Rodney's."

//Agreed.  Thank you.  Return to base,// Cam ordered.

"NID is here," he said more quietly.

//That's why we want you back on base, Xander,// Cam told him.

"Okay."  He hung up and looked at Maybourne.  "They should have the cellphone so they can call me or Rodney.  Guard the area and make sure nothing's in the same spot when they show back up."

"What would happen?" he asked.

"They'd be ripped apart at the molecular level when the mountain reappeared around them.  If they were lucky."

He nodded.  "Cordon off the area," he called.  "You're staying, Harris."

"I got ordered back to Nila."

"I don't care.  You're to stay here in case we need on-site help."

Xander pulled out his comm earpiece.  "Tap it twice and talk to Cam."  He summoned his cellphone, calling that other number.  "Guys, you're out of phase.  Fifteen seconds ahead," he said in greeting.  "I am outside the mountain and you're invisible.  I think the invisible is spreading actually."  He was watching the ground and more was becoming blank.   "I don't know, General.  The other number is Rodney's.  Maybourne, tell him to plug in his damn phone, he forgot!"

"He said to tell McKay to plug in his phone, he forgot."  He went back to arguing about keeping Xander there.

Xander smirked.  "Exactly, General.  No, you're not here as far as we can tell.  Please do.  They're arguing about me staying or being on base."  He hung up.  "He wants me back on base too."  He summoned his comm, wiping it on his jeans.  "I'll be back, let me put the books up, get something to nibble and drink."  He disappeared.

***

Rodney plugged in his phone and waited two minutes then called the missed call he had.  "Good, Sam."  He read off the readings.  "That's from outside and Xander reported that you're adding more space as time goes on."  She said something.  "He said fifteen seconds ahead."  He listened.  "Exactly.  No, it's not there according to satellite.  Why is the gate still open?"  She said something and hung up, rushing that way.  He groaned.  "It's a gate problem," he announced.  "Figure out the math for me."  Radek and the others nodded, getting to work on ways to help.

Xander appeared in a flash of light, taking his own chalk to work on something with Radek.  "I have never fully figured this out yet," he said quietly.  Radek looked and took over the math since it was Ancient math, not the stuff from before.

Rodney stared.  "What does that do?"

"Something fucking dangerous.  It's a temporal stop bomb."

"Like you did in London?" he asked.

Xander nodded.  "Without the damage.  Those who can feel energy fields can still feel the shielded weak spot and the excess energy in that one spot."

"Will we have to evacuate the mountain?" Rodney asked.  Xander nodded.  "Do we have any idea to where?"

"Join it to the city?"  He shrugged.  "That way you do have the natural conductor and insulator of the water."

"That's not a bad idea."  He started to sketch out basic ideas.  "We'll go over that later."  He finished up the rough one and got to work with Radek.  The others were staring.  "We could use other ideas.  This is an idea of last resort, people."  They nodded and got back to work.  "We'd need a powerful temporal point."

"Rodney, we can create another void portal," Xander reminded him.  "It'll take us an hour."

"Good point."  He factored that in, sketching the design.  Xander fixed that on him, letting Rodney make it better on him.  Then they finished the math.  Radek nodded.  "Go make one," he said quietly.  "Just in case."  They went to do that.  It was never the first plan that worked.  He called them again.  "You have to shut down the gate."  He listened.  "It's in a feedback loop.  All right, can we disconnect the power source?"

"Don't create a void by firing into it," Xander said, holding his head.  "That's going to suck the whole mountain into it and then they're lost.  Along with that other world because it'll be one of those hourglass shaped double black holes."  Rodney shuddered and repeated it, plus that it was a vision.   Xander looked at the ideas and groaned.  He pressed his hand to his head.  "No, not that either.  Whatever she wanted to do with a ZPM, stop it."

"Sam, you just set off another one.  Don't touch the ZPM's."  She complained.  "We know he has correct visions.  I doubt you want that explosion or the black hole it could create with the gateway!"  He looked around.  "Arnett, help Stark!"  He moved to help him.  Radek came in with the little sealed portal.  He could feel it sucking.  "We have three working ideas."  He hung up and came over to help Stark's problem solving.

Xander looked.  "That's if it's stuck," he noted.  "To restart it.  We might have to do that this time."  Stark nodded, giving Rodney a look.

"He has traveled time.  A lot."

"He's a Doctor?" he asked dryly.

"Junior member," Rodney quipped back.  "He did travel with him though.  Very nice man."  Stark's mouth fell open.  "Exactly."

Xander looked at the other two, shaking his head.  "No, that's going to speed up, sending them ahead.  It could destroy time there.  If they were closer to a full minute out of phase maybe.  They're fifteen seconds ahead."

Rodney looked.  "That's what caused the problem but it's a gate feedback loop."  They adjusted that problem.  He came over to look.  "This sucks," he muttered.  They glared at him.  "Not your math, the situation."  He helped and got swatted at by one.  He snorted but let them have it.

"We're not the halfwits you get now and then, McKay.   Some of us earned our doctorates on our feet instead of our backs," she complained.

"Good!"  He watched the problems come together.

Stark shook his head.  "I can't.  If I do it this way it could cause another void and then more problems."

Rodney looked and nodded, looking at the other ones.  To him, this truly sucked.

"Rodney, is Miko there?" Radek asked.

"Yes.  Sam's already coopted her to help."  He watched the problem take shape, sending it to Sam via text message.  It could only help from that side.  He didn't want to use a temporal bomb in the mountain.

***

Sam got the text and looked, writing it down.  The spelled out things were nicely compacted and she understood all but one.  She texted that back to him and he gave her the full word so she understood.  She knew he was rolling his eyes. "Miko?"

She looked at her formula then that one.  "It was not a power blast that did it but similar."  She added that formula to hers and went on, taking the phone to text Rodney the beginning formula.  "We must stop the gate, then we can fix it."

"I'm trying," Sam said shortly.

Miko looked at her.  "We can break gate?"

"We have a team on that side."

"They are probably in trouble as well."

"Good point."  She sighed and went to break the gate.  Disassembling it wasn't fun and the energy was giving her a sunburn after a few minutes.  She got it fixed and it finally shut down.  She got out of the way.  "Dial them, get our people home, Walter," she said.  "We'll need a steady connection to fix this."  He nodded, dialing and calling.

They had the planet's leaders there to see what was going on.  She explained it and they decided to keep it for now.  It was a great defense against them being invaded.  The team was released and let through.  The gate shut down and they were still stuck out of time.  She took a deep breath, looking around.  "Walter, I need all the readings from the gate, the full cycle of what happened, sent to my lab."  She walked off.

Ferretti looked at Walter.  "Make sure the caf has blue jello for her?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, sir, they always do after an emergency."  He did text down there to let them know then sent the full information file to her.  He hoped they could solve it without resorting to Xander.

***

Ten hours later, Miko stomped a foot and huffed.  "We will need a large release of energy to send us back, to pause the time stream."

"Nothing can do that," Sam told her.

"No, Xander did in London," she corrected.  "One of his bracelets was sacrificed."

"That was half a sun in supernova in each."

Miko nodded.  "We must find out how his spell did that and kept them in the right time."  She texted him.  He sent back the book.  She smiled and sat down to read over the spell.  It wasn't a lot of theory but it had enough that she could figure things out.  She started on that problem on another board.  "For something the size of the mountain and surrounding areas we would need two bracelets," she said finally.

"That would destroy us all," Sam said.  Miko nodded.  Sam huffed and got to work on her own idea.

***

Xander was pacing around.  Then he sighed and went to do something on Ever.  He came back with a temporary Tardis meant to go out of phase a few minutes later.  He had went back six months to give himself time to lay all the necessary spellwork.  He landed it in the lab.  "Bomb."

Rodney looked then at him.  "That won't work."

"I can evacuate all the people then set it off.  I'll be sick for a week but I am immortal," he said quietly.  "I need someone to knock out Dawn.  She'll instinctively fight it."

"She's there today," Radek said.  "Switching out scientists on Ever."

"Shit."

"We will both go," Radek ordered, staring at him.

"You don't have the same protections."

"I can keep track of Dawn and help you dismantle everything so it all fits.  If we leave gateway there, is still possibility of having a black hole ripped."

"We might not have enough room to bring everything in the mountain with us," he said.

"Just the gateway and the ancient tech?" Rodney asked.

"If I add some more space."  He sighed and walked back inside to build a storage area as well.  It had to stay solid enough to travel for a few minutes.  He came out and nodded.  They got in together and headed off.  "Did you tell Evan?"

"Yes.  He sends a 'be careful' and a lot of prayers that this works."  He checked the bomb, it wasn't active yet.  They landed in the command center.  "Sir," he said.

Ferretti sighed in pleasure.  "Xander.  They can't figure out how to do it."

"I can.  We have a temporal bomb to fix that but we have to evacuate all the people and anything technical that might break."

Ferretti stared at him.  "Carter!  We have a solution!" he bellowed.  She and Miko came jogging in.  He pointed.

"We have a temporal bomb," Radek said.

"It'll destroy everything!" Sam complained.  Xander pointed behind him.  "Is that what I think it is?"

"Dismantle everything you can and move it," Ferretti ordered.  "We have very little time."

"Bomb is not activated yet," Radek assured him.  "It will fit everyone and the gateway, plus important things."  That got a nod.  Ferretti made the basewide, including NORAD, announcement.

"We haven't done an evacuation drill since Jack was in charge," Walter said.   He was working on downloading the gate program and all the information they had.

"This is going to take hours," Sam agreed.

"Has been eleven," Radek said.  She nodded and they got to work.  He looked at Xander.  "What are you thinking?"

"I think I assigned Atlantis and Nila to help Eterna create a new docking center," he said quietly.  Radek beamed at him.  "Six months ago.  I think they'll be stealing Rodney and possibly some others soon for the finishing touches."

Ferretti came out of his office, staring at him.  "Seriously, Harris?"  Xander nodded.  "That might work.  Thank you."

"NP, General.  The gateroom maybe underwater to insulate the energy surges better."  Walter grinned.  "We'll need to do the finishing work probably but I told her when it had to get to us by.  She should be within range soon."  That got another set of nods.  Ferretti carried in his office's worth of stuff and Radek directed the way to the storage areas.  He helped get Walter's things in there then the computers.  Carter had sent Miko to take apart the gate and clear the gate room.  Scientists would be helping her in a few minutes, once their areas were cleared out.  Then they'd go pack personal things if they had room.  If not, they could wait a day until it was less radiated.

***

Rodney, John, and Evan beamed to the gateway when they got a text saying it was nearly time.  Cam was back on Nila talking the new city into landing and how.  They heard the muted explosion as the mountain reappeared, gasping at the land that reappeared brown and withered.  "I guess sunlight didn't get to them," John said.

"I guess not," Rodney agreed.  He walked forward but the guards stopped him.  "We have to take readings."

"Sir, the general said no entrance."

Rodney took readings from there.  "No life signs so they must still be with Xander and Radek."  He calmed himself.  "It's not reading the gate."  He got around the soldier, letting John knock him out.  He stomped up to Maybourne.  "I need a hazmat suit so we can check.  I'm sure we evacuated before that but we have to check the radiation readings inside."

"One's coming, McKay.  My people....."  Evan zatted him.

"You're an evil fuck," Evan told him.  "No you won't go near Xander or Radek."  He took the suit from the staring people.  He put it on and took the scanner from Rodney, heading down there.  He tapped his comm piece.  "Rodney, we do have temporal radiation readings from just inside.  It's still pretty strong."  He sent him the readings and Rodney sent back how to change the field it was reading.

"I have microbial life signs and bacterial."  Rodney sighed in relief.  "I have a rat or a mouse too."  He walked on.  The mouse ran at him so he shot it.  "No more rat."  He went down the elevator to the first check in spot.  The readings were stronger so he went back up and came out, taking off the hood.  "The rooms were emptied.  The infirmary was totally cleared."

Rodney sighed, smiling some.  "Cam, did they appear on the new docking area?" he called.

//Affirmative and this one isn't nearly as pretty as the antique wardrobe he created the last time.  The new city is basic but can be upgraded.  They're all here and safe.  Report back to Nila, people.  Ferretti's orders.  We're beaming him there to argue with Maybourne himself.// He hung up.

Evan grinned as they got beamed back.   They stared.  The new 'mountain' was a single level.  It was black steel so Ever had made it.  It was close but needed a bridge over.   It was shifting area some so it was getting into a final good position he guessed.  He got beamed over, looking around.  "Radek?"

Radek smiled.  "It went fine.  Everything is here.  He had good ideas.  We need Rodney to help hook things up."

Evan called that in.  Rodney nodded and hung up, calling his people.  "Stark, I need six of you to come help us."  He rattled off names.  "You all have high enough clearance and have actually helped put Ancient things together."  They got beamed to the new area and went to work on everything.  "Where's the gate area?" he demanded.

"Downstairs," Xander said.  "Along with the armory and staging areas."  Rodney smirked at him.  "Water is a good insulation device and a good conductor of energy if we have another feedback loop.  We can drain it that way or flood the damn room if we have to."  That got a nod and they carried the gate out, taking it down there.

Xander looked at the waiting NORAD people.  "Let them move all their stuff and I'll take you directly to the Pentagon," he noted.  They nodded and protected the semi-Tardis.  Xander yawned.  Radek gave him a kiss and a power bar, getting a grimace.  But he ate it at Evan's worried look.  They smiled and let him help once he had eaten it.

Ferretti watched, looking at the other city commanders.  "Okay," he decided.  They smiled.  "We need a new base-free area."

"We'll need connections," John said.  "Plus Atlantis will probably want to move too, sir."

"Good point."   He watched the sections of the gate being carried out, shaking his head.  "They're efficient."

"The people who aren't SGC are getting a lot of touching of things they had only heard rumors about," Cam said quietly.  "They're all higher level geeks too."

"Even better."  He looked at them.  "We could probably use some grunts."

"Ours are coming," Cam promised.  "I'm leaving two teams to guard but otherwise they're coming, sir.  They're boating over."  He pointed at the inflatable rafts they had for emergency offloading that were running over.   "We still probably need personnel quarters."

"That can go in the base-free area," Ferretti decided.  "McKay."  He looked up.  "We need a base-free area to connect to and housing areas."  He nodded at that.  "Give me a design by tomorrow.  Tonight we can bunk down wherever."

"Atlantis has spare rooms," John told him.  They got back to work.  The soldiers got sent to help heft, carry, and hold things in place so it could be connected again.  It went a little bit faster than the crating up had.

Evan walked over to Ferretti.  "Sir, the base is full of temporal radiation for probably the next few days," he said quietly.

"We'll have someone send down a remote monitor or something."  Carter looked at him.  "To measure the radiation."

"I hooked one up in the gate room and the secondary elevator stop, sir."

"Thank you, Carter.  Harris, once we're done...."

"They're going to the Pentagon with their stuff," he noted.

"Good man."  He smiled.  "Good thinking ahead, both of you."  He got in to help.  He liked his office.  It had a large set of floor-to-ceiling windows that rode just above the water line.  He had a fantastic view of the garden edge of the atoll and Nila's docks.  The city finished moving and it was nice that she announced she was dropping anchor.  He went to check his gate room.  The command center was halfway up the wall again and it had stairs down to the actual deployment area.  Good, strong ones with tread that no one should be able to fall down but they could hold if they had to.  The gate room had some glass windows to show the water and fish around it.  He supposed that meant if they had to flood it for some reason they could.  He noticed a strip around the doorway.  "Field generator?" he asked Walter.

"Yup," he said with a smile.  "To create a forcefield to hold out any water in case we have to blow the gate, sir."

"Excellent.  Whoever designed this has a fantastic view of what was strategic yet pretty."

"Xander designed her according to the AI Eterna, sir."

"Is Eterna on Ever?" he guessed.  Walter nodded.  "Cool."  He went to look at the rest of the areas.   Science had a few larger work rooms with tables and whiteboards already installed.  They also had an amphitheater area with a stage and blackboards waiting, plus screens to probably show what was on them to the nosebleed seats.  He could hold briefings in there he guessed.  He checked the 'soft sciences' section and found them giddy over all the rooms with built-in bookcases.  "Hey, Daniel can actually store all the stuff in his office," he joked, earning a few grins.

"We're three offices too short," one of them said.

"I'm sure we can add on or something."  They nodded and arranged things for now.  He went on.  The offices were nice enough.  No sleeping rooms at all but a few larger empty rooms that they could use for gear storage.  He went back to the gate area, finding the MALP storage garage and the doorway that led to the gateroom.  That worked well for him.

He went back to watch the offloading.  Xander took the guys from NORAD with him to DC and Ferretti looked around.  "By tomorrow I want any additional needs listed fo me to plan into the addition.  CC that list to McKay so he can design it with whoever."  The section leaders nodded.  He looked at the grunts.  "Those of you on Nila, we might be joining you for a bit but we might be on Atlantis instead."

"That's fine, sir," Evan's second said.  "We have thirty five tiny rooms and the lanar or you can bunk on Nila herself if you need to.  We have."  That got a nod and a smile.  "Black steel?"

"It came from Ever, Lieutenant.  It's native there.  The new ships are in the same steel mix."  He grinned at that.  "They're beautiful compact things."  He went to check on the others.  "Are we almost ready to test-dial somewhere?" he asked.

"Four more hours," Rodney said.  "I need to run a maintenance cycle on the gateway first."

"I can," Miko ordered, giving him a nudge.  "Go eat before you pass out."  He nodded and went to grab a snack then came back to do his share of the work.  That let her go eat with Radek and Xander.

***

Xander landed the Tardis and opened the door, looking at the staring guards.  "I need the Secretary of Defense please, guys.  I have the people from NORAD."  One called for him and he came jogging.  "Sir."

"Harris?" he demanded.  Xander smirked and nodded.  "You know what happened at Cheyenne."

"Yes, sir, and I have the report from Colonel Carter along with your guys from the rest of the Mountain."  He let him inside.  "We had them evacuate before we moved the mountain back into phase."

"Shit," he said, staring at him.  "How?"

"Feedback loop from the gateway.  That's now stopped.  The gate's been moved to a new docking area Ever built."  He grinned.  "They're by Nila."

"I'll look at that later.  People, let's get you set up in storage B-2.  I'll assign guards to help you and make sure no one touches anything."  They nodded.  He made that order out the doorway then came back.  "The report?"  Xander handed it over from the maintenance panel.  "Is this a full Tardis?"

"Just went to the single out of phase location, sir.  It can blip around the planet a bit but I'm storing her on Atlantis after this," he said quietly.  The Secretary of Defense smirked and nodded at that.  He read it over, grimacing at the technically heavy report.  Xander handed one over.  "From General Ferretti, sir, since that one's in science geek."

He read it, nodding at the more simplified explanation.  "Okay.  When you go back, you're bringing me and the president.  They gave him an ulcer so they can explain it to him."

"Yes, sir."  They let the NORAD guys move all their things to the storage area and report for a headcount.  "They'll need to stay out of the mountain for a few days.  There's some temporal radiation."

"That's fine.  Is it monitored?"

"Yes, though I'm not sure why Maybourne is still there."

"Neither am I.  I'll have the president banish him back to his dark, dank cave."  The President got let in and he saluted.  Xander waved.  "I forgot you switched countries."

Xander grinned.  "Yup, sure did."  He smirked.  "Let the NORAD guys get all their stuff, sir, and we can go to the new SGC floating area and then I'm going to store this on Atlantis."

"That's fine, Harris.  I heard some pretty nice things about the cities."  He watched the rest go, smiling at the disgruntled looks.  "We can let you have city leave a few at a time, people."  That made a few more happy.  When they were done, Xander checked and took them back to the new city then sent the ship to Atlantis.  She locked it in a lab so she could examine it and absorb it into her city's structures.  Which he knew she'd need for when she was sent temporally traveling herself.  He blipped back to the new city.  "I didn't plan for any living quarters because I thought it might be necessary to build them anyway for Nila's people, General.  Since ours are the size of a high school locker."

"I saw and I agree.  We can do that and a base-free area at the same time, Harris."  He clapped him on the back.  "It's beautiful.  You did a good job."  Xander beamed at him for that.  "Go eat."  He nodded and left.  Ferretti smirked at the president.  "He designed it on Ever, sir."

"I wondered about the black steel."  He patted a nearby post and nodded.  "Strong."

"The new ships are built of the same stuff."  The general showed him around.  "We might have to build a second level for more labs and more geek space, sir, but otherwise we're good so far."

They stared down into the gate area.  "That's very defensible," the Secretary of Defense said with a nod.  "Specialized gear storage?"

"Off to the right is a protected garage.  You need a pass to get in and to open the door between the two."

"So he made it safer too.  Good!"  He smirked.  "They'll have a hell of a swim if they do make it off the city to reach humanity too."

"Yes, sir," Ferretti agreed.  Carter walked up to them.  "How are the radiation readings?"

She got into that feed from her laptop.  "About thirty percent higher than I'd like to see."  She let them see it.  "We theorize it'll be about a week before they can get back."  She looked at the general.  "Are we moving back?"

"No.  We're here.  We'll need another floor built for extra space but otherwise we're here."

She nodded.  "Okay."  She looked down there.  "It's pretty."

"It's very pretty," the president agreed.  "Practical too.  The kid did a good job.  Ferretti, give Harris a bonus."

"Yes, sir, and Zelenka for helping with the temporal bomb.  Plus whoever helped design the thing."  He smiled.  "Sir, should we plan on moving Atlantis here?"

"Possibly.  Get me a design quickly for the bridges you'll need and all that."

"Yes, sir."  They went to his office, where the president sighed in pleasure at the views.

The Secretary of Defense looked.  "What's that on the atoll?"

"That's the garden area," Ferretti said with a smile.  "Xander insisted they plant one in case something happened and they had to delay a food shipment."

"Not a bad idea."

"We'd have to build up the atoll to gain more space.  Right now it's a lot of free space for off-time."

"Still not a bad idea.  See if it's feasible.  That would make you more self sufficient and give your botanists more things to do than play with the tentacle plants that I hear all too much about."

"Yes, sir."

The president smiled.  "Not bad at all."

"Harris can plan."

"He can."  He walked back topside, looking around.  "You can probably put on a half-floor easily enough.  Leave this open area for helicopter landings?"

"Yes, sir," Ferretti agreed.

"What's that building?" Sam Carter asked with a point.

"Medical," Ferretti said.  "That's where the infirmary is going.  They're about a quarter done with it.  I think all of the docs went to Atlantis for now."

"That'll work," he decided.  "Her docking area is very nicely laid out.  Aesthetically pleasing as well."

"Another Harris creation," Sam said with a smile.  They smirked back.  "He submitted plans and they changed a few but it fits her style very well.  She claims Xander spoils her."

"Yes, he does," a nearby speaker said.  "Colonel, your power drain is preventing me from manifesting in an image projector and draining your ZPM terribly."

"I'll get on that tonight," she promised, calling up that data so she could look it over.  She sent an instant message to Rodney, who could be heard barking orders.  They went to fix that and it was easier.

Nila appeared a minute later with a smile.  "Much better.  We'll need to build a few more to support this city's needs and a sunlight one like on Ever to help."  She bowed to the two officials, getting nods back.  "I am Nila."

"I've heard about you," the Secretary of Defense said with a grin.  "You're a very handy AI to have on the docking area and the city, ma'am."  She made to pinch his cheek but he could only feel the brush of energy.

"You're so sweet."  She smiled at the president.  She put up a rough picture.  "What if we did something like this?  Rodney was working on it earlier."

"We need another floor here," Ferretti said.  "And a housing area with more free-time space."  She squealed and pounced him to hug before going to tell Rodney that.  "I like the AI's."

"They are nice," the president agreed, looking at his Secretary.  "Let us get back to DC.  See me day after tomorrow with a list of needs, General.  This solves a lot of dangers and problems for all of us."  He nodded and saluted, getting them beamed back.

Ferretti relaxed, looking around.   He dove in to help move stuff down to where it needed to be.  The kid and Rodney had spoiled them horribly with this new platform city.

***

Ferretti met with the heads of the cities, Xander, Radek, and Evan.  "All right," he said, smiling at his new office.  "Xander, I love this.  Thank you."  Xander beamed at him.  "Secondly, we need a few more labs and personal work areas here."

"We can convert some of Nila's for the soft sciences," Xander pointed out.  "That's what I was thinking.  If we move all the others here then we have the offices there that need to be enlarged."

"That's not a bad idea.  We still need more classified areas though."  Xander nodded at that.  "Here's what the cities were thinking, based on Rodney's rough sketch and what's already been done."  He put up the diagram.

"Atlantis," John said with a grin.

"They're going to be leaking her existence pretty soon.  The bridges will have pass monitors.  You have to have a pass to cross the bridges outside of an emergency."  He changed it.  "This is with the new base housing."  They all smirked at that.  It was a slight high-rise in the center of the buildings.  "It'll have all the free time spaces and things."

"We have the lanar, rec room, and all that on Nila's docks," Xander reminded him.  "That means it's open to everyone."

"Good point.  We can leave them there or take the rec room and things over so we can add them to useful office space.  Then turn those tiny little bedrooms into offices as well."  That got a few grins.  "Xander, I've heard fantastic things about your offices?"

"I can't do that surrounded by cold iron."

"All right.  So a boat?"

"If the people want to bring a boat, it's going to be good for the cities," Xander pointed out, crossing his feet.  "That way they can get away from the city and fish."

"Good point.  What about the atoll?"

"It's good."

"Can we expand it?"

Xander nodded slowly.  "Do like the Captain Morgan's rum commercials?  Just build up rocks to create an island?"

"Maybe.  Give the garden more room and the free time play area more room too?" John asked.

"I don't know but I guess so."

"We can look into that," Radek said.  "There are people in Middle East who have built full islands with houses."

"Please do," the general agreed.  "That would make it a bit easier for us."  They all nodded.  "I'm told the Marshall Islands have ceded that one to us for the project through the UN.  Who did we use to build the docking station?"

"The same guys who're building the medical center," Xander said.

"I'll talk to their boss about putting in a bid for this new one.  Can you guys form a team tonight to get me a clear drawing of the ideas?  That way he has plans he can put around and all that?"  They all nodded.  "Thank you."  He smiled.  "Colonel Sheppard, how is Atlantis?"

"Fine, sir.   She thinks her sister city did a beautiful job here."

"She did.  Ever's done a fantastic job making this for us."  He grinned at the family grouping.  "For now, let's concentrate on the second floor here so the geeks get a bit more space.  That way there's no more hair pulling fights."

Xander snorted.  "I am the geek to military liaison for the cities, sir.  I can add here."

"Please do.  They annoyed me to no end today."  That got a few smirks from Rodney and Radek.  "They woke me up at five arguing over Star Trek versus Dr. Who."

"Jack had that show made so we'd be ready when things started to show up," Xander said happily.

"Good to know.  Any in the next few weeks?"

"No.  Not that I'm aware of.  No visions."

"Good!"  He smiled.  "Get me those plans tomorrow.  We'll be going to see the president at ten.  Please straighten out the geeks, Xander."

"Sure.  Any of them mine?"

"Yours were arguing Dr. Who."

"Ah."  He sighed, nodding.  "I can do that."  He got up.  "Any other details we need to go over?"

"Not yet."  They left, letting Xander go geek wrangle.

"People!" Xander yelled once he was on the lab floor.  "I am the geek to military liaison.  Any problems and I get to spank!"  They all groaned, he could hear them.  "Dinner.  Let's go eat!"  They trailed out.  "Go to Nila."  They nodded, going to get beamed over.  He looked at the linguists pouting at him.  "Thanks, guys, but you woke the general up," he said quietly.  They all nodded.

"Daniel's on Nila, on the city, and you guys can check in with him later if you haven't.  For now, go eat."  They got beamed over to do that.  He checked.  "Carter, food time," he called as he walked past her lab.  The others he ran out and made go eat with the help of Nila and Atlantis shutting down systems if she had to.

Then he went to Nila's labs to shoo them out.  "People, the other scientists are eating right now," he called as he walked toward them.  People came out to go eat with their fellow geeks and pump them for information.  Xander checked, shutting down non-necessary things.  He went to eat himself.  He was hungry.  Radek took him to eat with the group.  They settled around the table at Xander's house with their laptops.  They had plans long before they were needed.

Xander frowned, looking around.  He got up to check the garden then leaned out the doorway to Nila.  "Armand!  Mira!  It's dessert," he bellowed.  They came running and meeping happily.   He let them in and helped them by putting out plates of dessert for them.

Rodney petted Mira.  "You were cuddling Daniel again?" he teased.  She purred and cuddled up to him to have his dessert too.  "No wonder I'm craving sugary things," he teased.

Someone knocked.  John got up to see who it was.  "Hey, Carter."  He let her in and walked her back to the table.  "We're going over the plans for the docking bridges and things."

"I heard."  She sat down in the free chair.  "Some of those regular scientists are rabid."

Xander nodded.  "They can be.  We've been hoarding things like their life's work for years."

"True."  She looked at the plans.  "Do we need that extra room on the new docking platform?"

"The general said so," Rodney told her.

"All right.  What's this?"   She pointed.

"The new housing area," John said.  "Because you saw how tiny Nila's are."

"I did.  They are tiny.  We do have the ones on Atlantis."

"That won't house all the people on the SGC base," John told her.  "We'd have to renovate and update some of them."

"Oh."  She nodded.

"Not to mention we'd have to work on the classified issues with them around," John added.

"Yes we would.  All right so that's all personnel?"

"All personnel not on Atlantis," Rodney corrected.  "We'll be putting the pass sensors on the bridges."

"We'll be connecting all three cities and the new housing center eventually," John said.

She nodded.  "That's a good idea.  We can use what we have from Nila's docking bay construction to make sure the city can come free if we need her to."  She looked over the plans.  "Anything electronic settled yet?"

"It should be able to use the ones for the present docking area," Xander said.

"Good point.  Does the amphitheater work?"  He nodded.  "Then we can hold meetings and lead lectures to prepare for speaking."  She nibbled on a celery stalk from Rodney's plate.  Mira growled so she stared at her.  "He didn't mind."  Mira huffed and cuddled her daddy.  "She's very protective of you."

"She kept me from dating an absolute skank recently," Rodney said, petting her with a smile.  "She's a very good dragon."  Mira cuddled in.  "Good girl."

Sam stole something from John's plate and Mira hissed at her, and swatted at her.  "Okay, sorry!"  She plucked off Radek's plate.  Armand only growled.  "Apparently they're anti-woman tonight?"

"You're taking their food," John said. "They get all the extras."

"I think it's just me.  They got it from Nila," she said dryly.  She appeared.  "Good evening, Nila."

She nodded politely, looking at the boys. "Are the bridges coming along?"

Rodney let her see them.

She pouted.  "They're not as pretty as mine."

"What we'll do is we'll merge the metals so they're a design themselves," Xander said, showing her the colored version.  She squealed and hugged them.  "We'll make them pretty in their own way, not exactly mimicking yours."

"We could incorporate the arches," Rodney said, taking the laptop to amend them.   She hugged him too.  "That fits more with yours but merges the others' styles."

She nodded.  "I do adore that.  Can I show the general?"

"He'll see it tomorrow morning."  She nodded, disappearing.  Rodney looked at them.  "We have to make more ZPM soon."

Xander nodded.  "I have that doorway to Ever."

"When do I get to see her?" Sam Cater asked.

"Eterna?" he called.  She appeared, smiling at them.  She petted the dragons when they roared at her.  "This is Sam Carter.  She works on the base, which you just helped build."

"Well met," she said, bowing slightly with a smile.

Sam smiled and nodded.  "Well met, Eterna.  As a matter of future reference, do you have a way to make new ZPM?"

"No, I don't believe I do.  I know Rodney was going to build a mirror system like my solar one though."

"I am.  Is it integrated on the new docking city?" he asked her.

"No, I did not have time.  The basics are wired in but not the panels or anything like that.  Xander said it was an emergency."

"It was.  The stargate moved the whole base out of phase," he told her.

"Oh, dear."  She nodded.  "No wonder the gate was going to be underwater."  She looked at Rodney.  She knew he could fix most anything.

"It's fixed," he assured her with a smile.  "We detonated a temporal bomb to fix it."

"Oh."  Her eyes went wide and she looked at Xander.  "Did the Doctor help?"

"Radek and I figured it out," he said with a small smile.  "It's fine."

"Good!  Excellent work.  You deserve ice cream."  He pointed at the bowls so she smiled. "Good boys.  Let me know if I'm building more things.  It's fun to watch the new things come together."  She petted them.  She disappeared.

Xander grinned at Rodney, who smirked back.  "I think it'll be fine."

"How strong is this solar system?" Sam asked.

"It pretty wells runs Eterna," Xander told her.  "With us being in such a sunny place we can switch a lot of things to it and save the ZPM's we do have."

"Can it really power a fully active city?"

Rodney got into the projections he had done.  "This is what we see running."

She took it to look over, nodding slowly.  "So we can probably run everything but the gate on it."

"True," he agreed.  "We've been running Nila on a hybrid system since we're still building one."

"We can keep the ZPM power sources for backup and bigger needs," John agreed.

Radek cleared his throat but nodded.  "Other power source is annoyingly humming but works even better.  Has more energy output."

She looked at him.  "I haven't gotten to look at the specs on that."

"It's a different vacuum power system," Rodney said.  "With a spot of true void."  She gaped.  "It's a tri-powered system.  We still have to find a way to hide the humming better."

"We can't soundproof it?" she asked.  They all shook their heads.  "Why does it hum?"

"One of the stages," Rodney said, getting into the specs for her.  She glared at them.  "It works very well.  Atlantis runs on it almost exclusively."

"Are we looking at them to replace ZPM power?" she asked.  They all shrugged.  "Okay.  Can we work out the projections on this?"

"I have been," Rodney said.  "At the moment I'm backlogged with a lot other important things.  For right now it's a trial system to see how it works."

"Fine."  She handed the laptop back.  "Let me know when you have time."

"Of course."  He sipped his coffee.  Mira looked up at him.  He petted her with a grin.  "You're being good tonight."  She purred.  "I know, you want to rob the rhubarb bush and then go play in the tub."  She meeped happily.  So did Armand.  "Xander?"

"I was going to do some soaking myself."  They stared at him.  "You have rhubarb in the cabinet."  He got up to get them some.  They inhaled it and the bowl.  Then they ran for the bathroom.  Xander listened.  "Turn off the water," he called.  It kept going.  "Armand, that's enough."  The water got turned off.  "Thank you."  He looked at her, seeing the odd look.  "He knows not to flood the bathroom."

"He's a pet."

"Yes, he is, but he's a smart pet."  He smiled.  "That's why they adopted us."

"Sure," she said, nodding.  She wasn't sure of that but if he was....  He glared and she looked away.  "Let me get back to the gateway and finish running the maintenance cycles.  Then we'll dial a safe world sometime tomorrow."  She got up.  "Have a good night, guys."

"We'll probably go swim too," John assured her.  She blushed and left.

Xander looked at Radek.  "Did she just have a dirty thought about us?"

"I believe so," Rodney said, looking smug.  "The pond?"

"There's no scientists right now," Xander said.  "Guys, going to Ever," he called.  They locked the doors against anyone but family and ran to the pond to skinnydip in the cool night air.  They loved to skinnydip.  It turned into a splashing war but they all had fun.  They finally got done and trudged back to the house and curled up to watch tv together.   John and Rodney curled up on the foot of the bed.

***

Jon O'Neill looked around in the morning.  "Anyone seen the team?" he called.  No one said anything.  He sighed and took his breakfast and coffee to go.  He waked into the house and looked at the two dragons staring in the fridge.  "You're making it less cold."  He shut the door.  "Go wake up your fathers."  Mira growled at him.  He shook his head, heading for the bedroom.  "Oh, Geez, people!" he complained.  Radek woke up and blinked at him.  "Morning, sunshine!" he said sarcastically, smirking at him before taking a drink of coffee.  "It was bad enough when you guys had team movie night."

"Whine," Evan muttered.  He yawned and shifted.  "Morning, Jon."

"Yes it is," Jon said dryly.

Radek stared at him.  "Go make coffee."

"Am I the maid?"  Xander waved a hand, putting him in a frilly apron and the hat then making his clothes disappear.  "Fer'cryin'outloud!" he complained.  "Xander!"  Radek glared at him.  "I'm not moving until you change it back."  Xander snored so he went into the closet.  He found he could put things on under the apron but it wouldn't come off.  He huffed out to the kitchen, finding Sam Carter and the general there.  "Xander did it.  It won't come off," he complained.

"Uh-huh," she said, nodding slowly.  "I didn't know either of you knew what a french maid looked like, Jon."

He glared at her.  "I saw plenty in pornos, Carter, the same way he did."  She blushed and left again.  He looked at the general.  "Brass is here!" he shouted.  He started coffee. "Team movie night, sir."

"I don't care," he said bluntly.  "If they're really a quint instead of a trio, that's up to them."  He shrugged.  "I was wondering if they had the plans done."

"Guys, the general is here!" Jon yelled.  "Xander, get this frilly shit off me or I'm going to torture you on the next away mission!"

"Dude, loud!" Dawn complained from her doorway.

"He put me in frilly shit!"Jon complained.

She looked over then waved a hand and went back to bed swearing in Welsh.

"Thank you, Dawn.  You're my favorite brat."  Jon took off the apron and hat, putting it aside.  He stomped into the bedroom.  Mira grew to growl at him.  He stared at her.  "The general wants your human.  Now."  She leaned down to lick John.  "The other human you claim."  He walked off shaking his head.  "Sorry, sir."

"I've had those mornings myself."  Xander wobbled out half-dressed.  "Morning, Harris," Ferretti said, pouring himself some coffee.  "Long movie night?"

"We went skinny dipping."  He blinked a few times.  "What happened?  Do we need to fight another bad thing?" he asked quietly.

"No, kid, no bad things.  I came to look over the plans before the meeting."  Xander grinned at him and hugged him.  "You hug really nice.  Go wake up?"

He nodded, going to crawl back in bed.  "General wants plans," he said in Rodney's ear.

Rodney swatted at him.  "Send Radek," he mumbled.  "Comfortable."  He snuggled in around Mira, making her a happy dragon.  Armand was getting away from the sucking daddy's mouth and hiding behind the growly daddy.

Radek woke up to swatting by Mira.  "What?" he growled.  She nosed out toward the kitchen then looked at him.  He found his glasses and got up, wandering out there.  "General!" he said, blinking at him.

The general smiled.  "Your boy is a good hugger, Dr. Zelenka.  Though it's sad that he wanted to make sure I didn't have a bad thing for him to fight."

Radek nodded.  "We are working on that," he said quietly.  "Is there problems?"

"I came to look at the plans before the meeting?"

"Oh!"  He nodded.  Jon handed over a cup of coffee.  "Thank you, Jon."

"Welcome, Radek.  Skinnydipping?"

"In Ever's pond."  He sipped, finding the laptop and opening the plan to show him.

Ferretti sat at the table, looking them over.  "It's a beautiful design, Dr. Zelenka."

"Have seen me in my boxers, can call me by name," he complained.

The general grinned.  "Sure, Radek.  Thank you."   He pointed.  "What's this area?"

"New shielded area for power supply box that hums."  He sat down to go over it with him.  "Mira, wake Rodney up," he called.  Mira meeped and Rodney came stumbling out, getting handed coffee as well.

Rodney sipped and grimaced, glaring at Jon.  "You don't look like a cafeteria lady."

"Feel lucky I made any coffee."

"I am."  He shrugged and sat down, going over the idea.  "That is not the plans we made."  He found the right file but it was still that one.  "Nila, who hacked the plans?" he called.

"The wench of evilness and stupidity," she called.  She appeared and put them up.  "I saved down a backup copy, General."

"Thank you, Nila.  That's very helpful.  Which wench of evilness?"

"Sam Carter."  Radek sipped his coffee.  "She does not like her."

"I'll talk to her.  Can we print that, Nila?"  She nodded and printed it for them.  Then the other sets came out.  "Thank you.  I'll submit each of them.  Though I like this group's better."  He grinned at them.  "Radek, what would help?"

Radek shook his head.  "Time and realizing that others do it and he's not all the army."

"Huh?" Rodney asked.

"Xander saw me and made sure there wasn't a bad thing to fight," Ferretti said quietly.

"Yes, we've helped with that some."  He sipped more of his coffee.  "Thank you.  Breakfast?"

"Even if Xander put me in the frilly stuff, I'm not the cook too," Jon cracked.

"I'll cook in a minute then," Rodney decided.  "Make more weak dishwater coffee or better."

"Fine."  He added an extra scoop to the basket then added water from the fridge.  He brought it over.

Radek stared at him.  "Thought you said you would not need frilly things?"

Jon glared.  "Keep it up.  I'm taking Xander on a mission."

"He misses doing things."

"We'll see."  He put the pot down and let them refill their own.  "I came to see why Xander wasn't making the geeks eat."

"He's exhausted," Radek said.

"Don't be smug," the general teased with a smile.

"Am not.  We skinnydipped on Ever last night until exhausted."

"He could use more fun," Jon agreed.  They all nodded.  "Fine, let me go geek wrangle for a bit.  I learned well enough on Danny boy."  He went to make sure the geeks were all right.  A few gave him odd looks when he walked into the caf.  "Xander wore himself out skinnydipping."  That got a few snickers.  "He'll be up in an hour or so.  Any problems?"

"Not yet," Cam said.  "Where were they skinnydipping?"

"Pond."

"Ah."  He nodded and sipped more of the coffee.  "The general?"

"Getting the plans."  He looked at Carter.  "You overwrote the original file."

"So?" she asked.

"We had to find a backup copy so he had the original," he said.

"Again, so?"

Jon stared at her.  "Did Buffy's special girl shit infect you?"

She glared.  "I can paddle you."

"I doubt it but we have sparring later so you can try."  He looked at Cam, who rolled his eyes.  "What do we need to do today?"

"Get the things all ready of the next set of missions and making sure the new base is set."  The scientists in there agreed by nod, getting extra coffee to bring with them.

"You guys have a break area," Jon reminded them.  "Plug in the coffee makers."

"The new city needs better water filters," one reported.

"I'll tell Radek," Sam said.

"Gee, are you doing something?" Jon quipped.  He walked off.  He had to talk to his older self.  Carter had PMS or some other girl problem that was rotting her brain.

Sam growled.  "It's not my field."

Cam looked at her.  "If you don't get it fixed, you won't have coffee later without being beamed over or swimming."  She stomped off.  He texted Rodney's phone to warn him that she was in a bad mood.  He didn't need this already.  He looked at his people.  "Ignore her.  She's got some sort of problem again."  He sipped his coffee.  He smirked.  "Go play in the labs, people."  They went to do that.  His soldiers looked at him for orders.  "Just guard today, people.  We'll have VIP visitors probably."

They arranged it among themselves.  Evan walked in looking sleepy.  "Team 3 is down today I think.  Shift rotation schedule is on Nila's command center console."  One went to get it.  "Team leaders, we have a lot to make sure of today.  Watch the new city because they're going to be doing a gate check.  Let us know immediately if something happens."  They all nodded.  He took the schedule.  "Three is on downtime.  Five and seven are on for education days.  The others are on guard.  Slot two to the new city, the rest guard our borders.  Tell us what we have coming in case of visitors."  They nodded and left.  Evan got more coffee.  "We skinnydipped on Ever last night," he said with a grin.

"Congrats," Cam praised.  "You needed a night off."  He smirked.  "Sam overwrote the plans?"

"Yup."

"Her answer was 'so'."

"Ah.  Well, it's sparring today."  He smirked, adding sugar before taking a sip.

"Jon reminded her of that fact."

"Sheppard?"

"O'Neill.  Is Sheppard there?"

"Yeah, we flopped down to watch tv.  Mira is snuggled between her alternate human's chest and the bed."

"Wonderful."  He sipped his own coffee.  "The general good?"

"Yup."

"Even better.  Eat and then report for duty."  He got up and went to check on things.  That was most of his job.  Evan got food and took it to his desk to eat and arrange the paperwork.

Xander walked in a few hours later, giving him a kiss.  "Sparring?"

"Sparring later."

"Sparring now.  Teal'c said so."

"Sparring," he said, following him to the new base.  Xander blipped them over.  Teal'c was waiting.  "Hey," Evan said.

"You do not usually join us, but welcome," Teal'c said.

"Thanks.  I've been practicing with Xander and the group."  He took off his overshirt and his dogtags.  "Are the others coming?"

"Yes," Teal'c said.  "Colonel Sheppard said he would join us in a few minutes.   Are we expecting others?"

"Jon O'Neill said that Sam Carter needed a brush up."

"She could use them before our next mission," he agreed.  He called her and she huffed but oh well.  The general broke in to order her to sparring, that she was out of shape and had missions coming up.  She came up taking off her uniform shirt to leave her in the tank top she wore underneath.  Teal'c smiled.  "It is nice to see you again."

"I have things I have to do today."

"You need chocolate?" Xander asked.  "I can lend you some."

She glared.  "No, thank you."

"Okay.  Are we going hand-to-hand or Bantos rods?  I know she's not up to snuff on them."

"Hand-to-hand will be fine," Teal'c decided.  He attacked Evan, who smirked but defended himself.  "You show much of the Colonel's teaching," he praised.  "But your footing is still weak."

"I know.  I'm still working on it, Teal'c."

"True warriors never quit learning new things."

Xander dove in once he had taken off his shoes and socks.  He took off his shirt too.   A few gathered.  "Sparring," Xander called.

"We can watch," Miko assured them.  "They do not mind."  They settled in to watch the sparring match.  Sam huffed when she fell on her butt.  "It is all right, Colonel.  Many people can't last against them."  Xander shot her a grin then foot swiped Teal'c, making him trip a little bit but he recovered.  They focused on each other.

Evan huffed but Cam showed up.  "Good, I need more work to fight my way into Botany."

A few of the scientists laughed but Cam stripped down to spar too.  John appeared in a beam of light and jumped in between Xander and Teal'c.  "I need work," John told him.

"You have not fallen down too much on the training you have."  Teal'c worked against him and Xander panted, leaning down.  "Are you sore?"

"Small stitch," he said, straightening up.

"Is that like the stitch when your appendix got regrown and burst?" John asked as he blocked a hit.

"Less nothing.  Like the leg cramps.  I probably need more potassium."   He sighed and looked around.  "Who am I working with?" he called.  A few walked over to get him to help them with their hand-to-hand.  Xander moved them out of the way and got them into the drill.

Teal'c watched.  "That one on the end has a chronic footing problem, Xander."  He smacked John on the head, getting a grunt and a kick in the stomach back.  "You are quite good, Colonel."  He backed off and bowed.  John smirked but bowed back.  "We need to work on the general population."

"We do," John agreed.  "Soldiers, fall in!"  They came out to fall in and they all taught the group, even Sam.  She got the women.  Xander took them from her and put her against the men.  It was more of a challenge for her.  Xander got the women to work on hitting.

Ferretti and the president both appeared, looking at the sparring going on.  "It's our national pasttime," Ferretti joked with a grin.

Xander looked back at him.  "Yes it is.  They need to be better in case something happens."  The soldiers all nodded, at parade rest.  "Guys, at ease," he sighed.

"Go ahead, boys," the president said.  They got back to it.  He nodded at Teal'c.  "Nice job, Master Teal'c."

"Thank you, sir."  He smiled.  "They are good students for the most part."

"Excellent."  He looked around.  "Orient the plans for me."

Ferretti looked then turned them and moved them slightly.  Xander dove to catch one of the guys before he accidentally ran into the president.  Both of them fell into the water.  Ferretti looked down.  "Thanks, Harris."  He smirked.  "The free base are there," he said with a point.

The president nodded.  "That's a pretty spot to put it.  I think that'll work.  Leave the bridges an arch on this end in case someone wants to swim or boat?"

"Yes, sir.  We can swim in the center and if people want boats they can dock it along the edges."

"Even better."  He shook his hand.  "Colonel Carter, I liked your plans but they were a bit fussy and I don't understand why that power center needed its own area."

She looked at him.  "I'm told the new one hums, sir."

"That's interesting.  So we can't sink it in the water without causing problems with the local systems.  Good to know.   We can arrange all that, Sheppard?"

"Yes, sir.  McKay is working on it.  Plus the solar power system we've gotten off Ever's systems."

"Even better.  That's good energy to use.  Will it be enough?"

"The way she does it, mostly."

"Great."  He smiled.  "General, I'll put the bill out there to deal with that for the people that know.  We might have to break your program further open."

"Or the spore lube can go out," he offered.

"That will need FDA approval."

"It's not a medicine.  It's a sexual lubricant, sir."

"Oh.  I see."  He considered that.  "If you can, and fund it yourself, so much better."

Ferretti smiled.  "We can talk to some people about it, and the FDA as well."

"Good idea.  Let me know how much you can make from that."  He shook his hand.  "Send me back to complain at other people, please."  Ferretti had him beamed back.  He called a lot of senators in to talk to them about the program, what had happened, and why they needed to build this massive system of docking areas.  They were horrified at the stuff they were seeing from the SGC's missions.  They had no idea it was that bad.

Xander looked over.  "I can bring a sample to a party in San Fran, General."

"That would get word of mouth out but I'll try a more subtle way."  He went to look up the FDA's number.  Or maybe someone from Eureka because they had ways around it faster.  "Sir, this is General Ferretti.  Yes, Dr. Stark, me.  No, I'm on the new docking center.  I'm the head of the SGC actually.  I have something I need your people to get approved so we can sell the hell out of it.  Those spores made into a sexual lubricant."

He smirked at the complaints.  "Yes, those spores.  I'm told it was tested and worked well.  Please."  He hung up and called the scientists at Torchwood.  "This is General Ferretti.  Do you have any other samples of that spore lube?  I'm having a scientist agree with your findings and seeing if we can get it FDA approved.  Thank you, Dr. Harper.  Yes, that's where we are.  No, we got moved to a docking center.  Sure, how would you get it to Nila?"  He heard about Xander's special doorways.

"That would be amazing.  Thank you."  He hung up and went to get it.  Xander did some amazing things he wanted to see duplicated by science.  He met Stark on Nila and walked him to the living areas.  "We're getting some from Cardiff.  We're licensing it with the doctor who created it."

"Chemist?"

"Regular."

"All right."

"He's tested it in sex but..."  He grinned.  "We want to license it to make us sinful amounts of money."

"That is the ideal thing to do."  They walked into a room and he looked around.  "This is tinier than I thought.  Why are we here?"

"Xander Harris has a doorway to his home off-realm that has a connection to Cardiff."  He tapped and Owen leaned out with a jar.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  He smirked.  "It is quite fun to play with.  I actually managed to wear out Dawn for a whole week once."  He went back to the office with a quick stop for lunch.

The general handed it over and they walked out.  "Chemistry is down here, Stark."  He let him into it.  "Guys, he's testing the spore lube."  They left their projects and helped him set up analysis tests and physical tests.  Ferretti gave them a cleared area in case the spores overtook them.  He had Botany watch it so she could give them information about the spores.  Within an hour, Stark was calling contacts to come see this stuff.

***

Stark stopped Xander to talk to him.  "How did you create that doorway?"

"Magic."

"Magic isn't real."  Xander created a small light on his hand, making him stare at it.  "How did you do that?"

"Magic."  He grinned.  "It drives Rodney nuts."

"It's going to drive me nuts.  Can you quantify that in math?"

"Maybe really ancient math but it's not the same.  Ask Rodney, he's been working on it."

"I can do that.  Thank you, Mr. Harris."

"I'm Xander, Dr. Stark.  I get to geek wrangle all your people too."

"They say you're usually nice about it too."

I don't put up with the fighting and the bitchiness," Xander said dryly.  "Even with yours."

"I know.  They praised that."  He smirked and walked off.  "Doctor McKay," he said when he ran into him.  "How does Mr. Harris do that stuff?"

Rodney smirked.  "There's math that is not anything like ours from the more ancient societies."

"Can you teach it?"

"Yes, to a point.  I'm about at the level of calculus with it."

"That's fine.  How many are there?"

"Seven."  Stark grinned a nasty grin and sat down to look at the first things he could teach him.  They started on the version that might explain magic.  That was more interesting math really.

Notes: small spoilers for season finale of Warehouse 13

2: Differing Realities And Orbits

Xander blinked because he had just been on Nila talking to Cam about the upcoming week's drill schedule.  Now he was... in a huge ass warehouse that had a lot of Egyptian things.  "Huh," he said.  He looked at the thing next to him.  "Okay, wish related probably."  He could handle that.  He looked around and felt energy, pure energy.

"That's probably not a good sign and probably why I got wished here."  He jogged off, following the energy trail.   He found the glowing orb and concentrated, shorting it out.  It died with a fizzle.  He felt something POWERFUL arc into being near him and went to stop whoever that was.  They had probably summoned him.  "Hey!" he shouted at the woman.  "What the hell do you think you're doing brining me here?"

"Who are you?" she demanded, giving him an odd look.

"Someone wished me here."  He stared at her.  Then he summoned the trident she had.  "Um, no."  He heard more people running and looked.  "Did one of you make the wish that brought me here?"

"Are you a genie?" the male asked.

"No.  I'm a mage though."  He stared at him.  "And have time traveled.  Since this is Ancient Egyptian....  Saw it the first time around," he said at the other woman's opening mouth.  "So, let's talk."

"Why do you have that trident?" the second woman asked.

"Because she had it and I felt it power up.  Since I know *I'm* not going to use it, I'm holding it safely before she does."

"She was probably trying to stop that big orb thingy," the male said.

Xander nodded.  "I did that already.  She fired it up after it got shut down."

"Okay," he decided.   "We're not supposed to be here with you."

Xander smirked.  "I've been a lot of places like that."  He looked at the first woman.  "I doubt it."

"You read minds?" she asked casually.

"No, I'm a time traveler and this isn't my dimension.  So yeah, I kinda have a special gift you guys don't have."  He bound her and looked at the other two.  "Okay then.  Now, what is this place, are we in Ancient Egypt, and which one of you wished me here?"

"We didn't wish," the guy said.  "Can you put that down?"

Xander looked then at the rack, fitting it into the open spot.  It sealed it in.  "Cool."  He looked back at them.  She had a gun.  He summoned it with a dirty look.  "Whoever wished me here probably didn't do it to have me hurt you, lady.  Besides, I carry better."  He handed it to the guy since he was at least rational and calm.  "So, answers?"

"Do you have a name?"

Xander smirked.  "Xander Harris.  Now part of the SGC."

"We don't have an SGC that I know of."

"It's probably top secret if you do," Xander admitted.  "So that means you're not a higher up."

"We know someone who is," she assured him.  "Maybe they can help you get home."

Xander stared at her.  "I can probably get myself home if I have some time to relax and remember how I did it the last time I got displaced.  Right now....  I think we have bigger problems."  Sand was trickling in around their ankles.  "Yes?"

"Yeah, I think this is the ancient version of a self destruct," he agreed.  "We have to get out of here."  They looked, the office was pouring sand already.  "It's the whole freakin' desert," he complained.

Xander sighed and made a portal, waving.  "I'm assuming we're near the Valley of Mages."  He walked the bound one out and the other two followed.  "There."  Their little box buzzed so he stared at it then smiled.  "Huh.  Ancient video conferencing."

"Where are you two?" the man in it demanded.

"The guy who said he was wished up got us out through a portal," the guy with them said.  "He's got HG bound."

"Good!  She's the bad guy."

"Figured since she had a godly weapon," Xander said dryly.  He looked at her then sighed.  "I saw when Willow nearly destroyed the planet."  She gaped.  He stared her down.  "I can't let anyone do that.  It's against my oaths, lady."

"I'm Pete, this is Myka," Pete said.  "Artie, do you know anyone named Xander Harris?"

"Like the guy from that Buffy show?" a female voice said from the box.

"Yes," Xander sighed.  "I'm guessing here we're a tv show?"  They nodded.  "Figures."  He smirked.  "No, I left Sunnydale."

"He's a good guy," the female voice said.  "A bit sarcastic, a white knight personality, and things sometimes went wrong around him."

Xander walked over.  "That was hellmouth taint and now I'm with the most powerful coven in the universes, dear.  I'm not screwing up magic any longer."  He smiled.

She beamed.  "How did you get here?"

"Wish."

"Huh.  I have no clue," she admitted.

"I do," he sighed. " Unfortunately."  He shrugged.  "We'll handle it.  My boys are used to me being gone now and then.  One of them can get the GD people to geekwrangle for me."

"GD?  Global?"  He nodded.  She smiled.  "They're here too."

"I'm not sure you guys are in our world.  Who's in charge here?"

"Fargo."

"Fargo, from what I've heard from the ones on Nila, is a lot like me.  But we can fix that.  I can get myself home but it'll take me a bit to gather power."  She nodded.  He looked at the older man stomping their way.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Mr. Harris I presume?"  He nodded.  "Thank you for your help.  How did you do it?"

"I short circuited the orb thingy and then I felt her grab something godly.  I'm assuming Poseidon's trident but that's the only one I remember from mythology on this planet."

"How could you tell the difference?"

Xander grinned.  "Having traveled through time, space, and dimensions...."  The older man whimpered.  "I was in Ancient Egypt a long time ago when someone decided they wanted me and I fought back.  Then I dated a wannabe God-King."

"Demonic?' he asked.

"Gou'ald."

"That we don't have here.  Though I've seen a remnant from your realm that mentioned them."

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, there's all sorts of leaks from our world."  He shrugged.  He closed his portal and looked at him again.  "Anyway, all I need is some time and space to draw extra power in.  Is Sunnydale still open here?"

"No.  It was bought and used by the US government back in the forties for bomb testing."

"Excellent."  He grinned. "Let me find my old camping area, see if it's inhabited, and then I'll be out of your hair in a few days."

"We could bring you back to the US with us.  That way you're monitored in case something happens.  Because it's said to around you," the female voice on the box said.

Xander shrugged.  "Whatever.  Though, are we aware that grabbing the trident opened the portal?"  He pointed to the west.  "There's a fairly powerful spike slowly opening that way.  Looks like she woke up someone."

"Shit," Artie said.  "Can you close it?"

"I don't know."  He drew symbols on the sand with his foot and moved them into it then took them there.  "Transport ring.  A D&D world was really fun for that."  He grinned and headed for the opening feeling.  "There's an illusion wall."  He broke it for them but didn't bring it down.  Waking the Old Ones was always a bad idea.  They never had enough coffee on hand for them to be less than cranky.  He walked into the antechamber, looking around.  "Hey, this is Greek.  And we're here with Ares.  Huh."  He walked into the throne/burial room, finding the blinking God of war.  "You're awake and in the wrong time, Lord Ares.  Someone unwisely grabbed a staff of power and woke you by accident."

The god stared at him.  "Why don't you bow?"

Xander switched languages.  "Because I've seen stronger hamster gods than you are right now," he said dryly, staring at him.  "For that matter, I serve the coven of the White Guardian."

The god nodded slowly.  "I remember them.  They were all assholes too."

"True."  He stepped forward.  "Read my memories if you wish."

Ares laid a hand on his head to read it, then nodded.  "The world is screwed."

"Definitely," he agreed, staring at him.  "So can we talk you into taking something to go back to sleep?"

He yawned.  "The power spike woke me."

"I know.  It's back safely stored and won't wake you again.  They drowned it in the sand."

He nodded, blinking hard.  "Maybe I will go back to sleep then.  You're not native."

"No, these are the guardians of the powerful artifacts now," he said with a point.  "On my world, I'm working on Atlantis and Nila."

He smirked.  "I saw.  Good boy."

Xander grinned.  "I try so hard sometimes but now and then....  My boys usually enjoy it though."

"Clearly."  He yawned again.  "It's not an emergency wake up.  I could stay up, help stop some of the pointless things."

"While I think you might like MP3's and all that, you'd overbalance things," Xander said quietly.  "Then we'd all die in a fiery flash."

"True."  He yawned again and Xander levitated him up and into his bed, tucking him in.  "Hmm, better than Mother."

"Of course.  I'm a gay man, I know how to make a comfy bed."  Ares smirked and Xander linked them again to give him happy dreams.  Ares groaned but drifted off happier.  Xander snapped the link and they backed out together.  Xander closed and sealed the doors magically.  Then he looked at the others.  "That's one crisis averted."  He got them back to the US.  "Here?"

"Here," Artie said.  "How did you know?"

"Wherever you spend a lot of time you taint and it taints you.  Your energy reads of here and they were clearly your minions."

"They are," Artie agreed.  "We're very top secret though."

Xander smirked.  "I'm SGC."

"Oh!"  He blinked a few times.  "They shut you guys down here a few years back.  It was all political and we have the gate here, unhooked."

"Cool."

"Where is the city?"

"Pegasus.  Ever's on the edge of the solar system.  Nila's in this galaxy but underwater."

"Thank you."  He got them inside, walking in to find people waiting on them.  "This is Mr. Harris."

The doctor who was there to help Mrs. Fredricks stared at him.  "You have temporal energy."

"I know that."  He grinned.  "Time Agent."

"Yay.  You know one of us?"

"No, I activated a band by accident."

"Ah."

"But the Doctor is very nice."  She blanched.  He smirked.  Then he bowed at the other two.  "Ladies."

"Mr. Harris," Mrs. Fredricks said, scowling some.  "How did you get here?"

"Wish."  He shrugged.  "I can get home, I just need to raise a bit of energy for myself right now."

"Please do.  Do we exist in your time?"

"Not the old ones.  Buffy said something about a warehouse that some demons had tried to get into that held part of my project's stuff."

She blinked a few times.  "What are you?"

"SGC."

"We do have the remnants of it here."

"No, in ours, we have the cities."

"Oh."  She stared.  "That's bad."

Xander nodded.  He frowned and looked around then opened a new portal, saving his step-dragon.  "Why didn't you tell me you came with me, Mira!"  He checked, no Armand.  "Is Armand at home?"  She meeped and cuddled.  "I'm sorry.  If you had let me know I would've brought you with me."  He closed the portal.  "Poor baby."  He calmed her down, petting her gently.  "A friend's pet dragon."

Pete stared, then grinned.  "I knew dragons were real somewhere."  She stared at him.  "My name's Pete.  You're adorable."  She purred and let him pet her ears then hid her head inside Xander's shirt again.  "So, how long do you think it'll take?  We live at a rooming house in the next town."

"Probably not more than a bit.  Unless I can transfer us to the coven's realm and then over."  He shrugged.  He looked at the younger woman, smiling.  "You need to do the meditative training of those gifts of yours.  Before you turn into me on the show."  He winked and transferred to the coven's realm.  The witches all stared at him.

"Not my fault they wished me to a realm that was having a major issue."  He hiked out after grabbing a slice of raisin bread to nibble on his way home.  She got some of it with a happy meep.  "I know, you're a huge ass mooch."  He grinned at her.  "We're nearly home."  He walked past Gomez and Morticia, who got petted.  Then they went into the house and back to Nila.  He handed her to Rodney.  "I didn't realize she was with me until she panicked at all the sand coming in on top of her.  I got her calmed down."

"Thank you.  Who took you?"

Xander shrugged.  "It was a wish situation."  He walked off to find Cam and the person with him.  "Ah, you're the same as the other warehouse's redhead and you still need the meditative training."  She gaped in awe.  "I got wished to another realm where we saved somewhere in Egypt."

"Only you," Cam muttered, shaking his head.

"They accidentally brought Mira but I didn't see her so I had to rescue her from the sand self-destruct.  She's fine, has Daddy and all that."  He looked at her again.  "So, is the Warehouse still around?  Because I'm told you guys have some of our artifacts."

"Yes," she said carefully.  "How do you know about us?"

"Well, someone told Buffy, who told us.  And we're SGC."  She beamed.  "Exactly.  You're on Nila.  Want escorted back?"

"Please.  That way you can explain it to the worried people and maybe we can arrange the transfer over."  Armand came bounding in and leaped at his daddy, getting caught and petted.  "Aww, he's adorable."

"He's my baby dragon."  He grinned.  "Cam, fixing this."

"Please do."  He waved a hand with a pen already held.  "I'm doing reports."  Xander grinned and took her with him.

She looked around then at him.  "How did you know?"

"Area taint."  She got them inside and he looked at the people staring oddly at him.  "I just saw another version of you," he said bluntly.  "Hi, Artie."

"How....."

"Someone made a wish for someone to handle a situation in Egypt with a glowing ball going critical."

"Oh, dear."

Xander spotted the others and bound the one.  "The you there had just grabbed a godly artifact and awakened Ares.  He's really nice now that he's sleeping again."  He looked at Artie again.  "Also, I'm here because I'm told you have some of our stuff from Atlantis, Nila, and Ever."

Artie blinked a few times.  "Yes, probably.  Who are you?"

"Xander Harris.  Geek to Military liaison on Nila and Atlantis."  He looked down.  "This is my baby dragon Armand."

"Okay," Artie said, nodding.   Pete came in to coo at him, getting petting permission from the dragon and human holding him.  "He could be dangerous, Pete."

"Only if you're an evil bitch," Xander said dryly.  "He was the calm one when I was in whichever realm that was."

"Which godly artifact?" Artie asked.  Claudia pulled up records.

"A trident so I'm guessing Poseidon's.  It power spiked enough that it activated the emergency wake up of Ares."

Claudia gasped, staring at him.  "Was he hot?"

"Very hot but I'm taken.  My boys would object."  Pete smirked at him.  "So would all my other evil ex's."  He shrugged.  "Anyway, Buffy got told that the warehouse did contain bits and pieces of our stuff.  We wanted to negotiate to get them back."

"Nila is where some of the GD scientists are working," Claudia, the redhead said.

"Yup.  I geek wrangle them too."  She grinned.  "So, what can we work out?"

"We're under direct oversight, Mr. Harris."

Xander stared at him.  "We're presidential eyes only ourselves.  Same as GD is."  Artie smiled at that.  "But Atlantis knows it's here.  She's going to invade soon to find it."

"We can keep out a city," Claudia said, frowning some.

Xander snickered.  "Atlantis?  I know you've been sneaky."

"Yes, Xander, I have found all my missing pieces and Nila's as well.  Plus where they are in other warehouses that were supposedly destroyed in the forties so the Nazis could not get them," Atlantis said from the computer.  "I have made a wonderful list and there are two things that radiate on the same wavelength as your magic that may belong to the coven."

"I can make sure they're stored properly," he promised.  "Thank you, dear."  He grinned at Artie, who was looking at him in a horrified way.  "Atlantis has a very smart, very human AI," he said quietly.

"Yes, I am."  Her picture appeared on the monitor after pushing things out of her way.  "Some of the things you have are very dangerous.  Including a staff weapon, Xander."

"Jaffa or Ancient?"

"Jaffa."

"How did one get down here?"

"We got it from Area 51," Artie said.

"Then it might be Teal'c's.  Huh."  He shrugged.

"How do you know what a Jaffa is?" Artie asked.

"Oooh, I can answer that!" Atlantis squealed with a smile.  She pulled up a picture.  "That is the new Stargate Command compound.  It is next to my technical mother, Nila."

Artie looked then at Xander.  "You're that SGC?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Hell!"

"Basically, sometimes."  He sat down, letting Armand go climb up Pete to sniffle the others better.  He looked at the sour looking African-American woman.  "I believe you talked to my friend Buffy.  She described you well."

"I had.  She told your generals?"

"Yes but it's been a lot of problems recently so they let it slip aside for now.  Now that General Ferretti is in charge instead of Landry, who only used to run Area 51, we're in better shape.  He's one of us from the grunt level."

"Even better," she agreed.  "I would like to see the storage areas on either city."

"The docking station and labs are on Nila," he told her.  "We're not so much on storage as fixing, looking over, all that."

"All the things here are dangerous," she said firmly.

"Wouldn't that depend on who uses it?" he countered.  "In my hands a staff weapon is very dangerous.  I've taken out a good portion of a military troupe with one."  She gaped.  He shrugged.  "We do have enemies."

"Good point.  The others are probably not weapons."

"They're probably unstable and someone figured out a bit or used the energy they contain to do something stupid," he said.  "Which I fully agree with.  I've had to stop a few scientists making paradox engines."  She shuddered.  He nodded.  "But... in our hands it's not dangerous, we may be able to fix it so it's not leaking if it is, and I need to look at those coven things because leaking mystical artifacts cause problems."

"Xander, they may have a point.  One is a weapon part," Atlantis said.  "But it is broken.  Plus they do have a partially charged ZPM.  It's presently trying to get power to the artifact next to it that is sucking at it."

"That's dangerous," he said, looking at Claudia.  "Lead me there."  The others all stared.  He stood up.  "A ZPM making attempt destroyed nine-tenths of a solar system, people.  It's void and compressed energy."  Pete shuddered and got the coordinates, leading him down there.  Xander paused at one and put a shield around it.  "That's drawing people to it for snacking purposes."  They found the ZPM and the artifact.  Xander disconnected the artifact and broke it.  "Temporal bomb."

"Thank you for the warning."  He read the files on it.  "It said it was some sort of explosive device but they weren't sure what."

"I am."  He picked up the ZPM to look them over.  Rodney had made sure he knew what one felt and looked like.  "We're a beauty, precious.  Nearly full too."  He carefully carried it back.  The foam case they had it in was actually holding open a part of it, letting it drain.   He carefully put it on a desk and smiled at Artie.  "I stopped the one thing that was calling people in to be nibbled on.  I disconnected the temporal bomb next to it and broke it so even if someone steals it they can't get it to work."

Artie swallowed, finding the files since Pete was pulling them up.  "We had wondered what that was."

Xander shrugged, sitting down again.  Armand came over from petting Claudia's hair to sit on his lap.  "Hi, Armand."  He smiled.  Then at Artie.  "I'm most often known as a problem solver."

"I've heard about some of them," Mrs. Fredricks noted.  "The Trust?"

Xander stared her down.  "Are you really going to complain about that militant band that wanted to hoard all technology and kill people?"

"No."

"Good.  I was hoping you weren't snaked by them."

"They tried, it was unsuccessful."

"Cool.  I dated one without knowing it but that was back in Ancient Eygpt."  She gaped.  He smirked.  "When I found out, we had the Mother of all domestic issues.  I even pulled out a hand grenade."

She nodded.  "Good."  He grinned.  "You're clearly not the normal human."

"No, I'm a hellmouth baby.  I'm also the one that shut down Sunnydale."

"I saw that.  Nice work."

"Thank you."

"Where is the new one?"

"Cleveland."

"The politicians must hate that."  He nodded.  "Can you transfer it?"

"A hellmouth is a thin spot in the barriers between realms.  We can't really move it but I'm looking over to see if we can repair some of them."

"That might help, yes."  She sighed.  "I can work out with your general about moving your things back there as long as they'll be safe."  Xander summoned Ferretti, who gave him a dirty look.  "Were you busy?' she asked dryly.

"I was chewing Walter a new one for the base-wide music fest we had today as an ongoing bit of the war between the hard and the soft sciences."

"I heard," Xander said dryly.  "And I told Walter to quit taking sides.  I was going to weigh in tonight with a game version of stopping the fighting."

"Thanks, Harris.  You're a nice warrior geek to know," he said dryly.

"General," Atlantis said.

He looked around.  "Atlantis, did you invade these people's computers without permission?"

"They have some of our things."

"That's still not polite, young lady."

"I'm sorry but I didn't want them in such mundane hands.  They can deal with the other strange things and the artifacts that Xander would normally.  Or the things that GD makes and can't use because it could destroy everyone."

He looked at the computer and she changed the window so she was showing again.  "It's still not nice, Atlantis.  Apologize.  Now."

"I'm sorry I invaded your system without authorization or permission," she told Artie.

He smiled.  "It's nice to see some good technology like you, Atlantis.  Give me the list and we'll talk with your general about it."  She grinned and pulled up her list again.  "Thank you."

Claudia leaned over.  "Have you talked to the baby AI's at GD?  Fargo said they're learning fast."

"I have.  Since we're linked I helped them a bit.  They were still learning strategy so I played Monopoly with them."

Ferretti looked at her.  "With permission?"

"The idiot making them has no idea what he's created," she said bluntly.  "Even Doctor Kavanagh calls him an idiot.  He was trying to make a new virus and created three baby AI's."

"Have you talked to the head people about them?" Xander asked patiently.  "Because they're supposedly top secret too."

"Yes, I have.  Fargo was quite stunned but very nice and agreed I could chat with them so they weren't lonely.  We had a good four hour talk about being alone."  She smiled.

"Then, as long as he doesn't mind and no classified information gets exchanged, that's fine with me," Ferretti said.  "From now on, ask me and them."

"Yes, sir," she said, ducking her head.

"You're acting like a teenage girl, congrats," he said.  She beamed and waved then disappeared.  He shook his head.  "Harris?"

"She used to be like a mature librarian until we interacted.  I think it's good for her and aids in her sentience but she does need to ask."

"Thank you.  Can you travel to GD to talk to them?"

"Sure.  I need to talk to their head guy anyway because I'm about to throw two of their people off for fighting again."

"Decent.  Did you...."  Xander smirked and nodded.  "I'll go with you then.  That way you don't end up involved in the crisis of the week up there."  He looked at Artie again.  "I love them but Xander still draws evil things who want him."

Xander snorted.  "Please!  Radek fixed the last one."  He gave him a smug look.  "He is very possessive."

"Good!  We've seen two too many of your ex's already."  He shook his head.  "Where did you disappear to?"

"These nice people in another realm somehow wished me there to handle a huge ass issue in the one in Egypt and a bad guy."  He pointed at her.  "Who woke up a god."

"As in gou'ald?" Ferretti asked.

"As in Ares, God of War.  It's an emergency switch in case someone uses one of their power holders wrong."

"Oh, shit," Ferretti said.  "Are they here too?"

Xander shrugged.  "Daniel and I can go check if you want."

"I'd never send just you two.  You'd get into trouble."

"We balance out each other's instincts actually."

"Uh-huh.  Yay."  He shook his head quickly.  He looked at Artie.  "Is that thing available to be used here?"

"No.  The old warehouses were destroyed during World War II when we heard Nazis got wind of them.  Only this one still exists."

"Thank God."

"Destroyed how?" Xander asked.  They all stared at him.  "A physical bomb in a place that size would've done some damage but I'm betting there's some left and someone is digging in the Valley of the Mages so they might come across the edge of the building."

"Good point.  Claudia, figure out who they are."

"Sure."  She sat down at the other system to figure that out.  She glared at the bound woman, who looked down.  "It looks like we funded them."

He came over to look over her shoulder then at the woman.  "Why?"

"She wants people to feel like her," Xander said dryly.  "The same reason Willow nearly did the earth in."  He petted his dragon.  Ferretti looked at him.  "Yes, I helped stop her."

"Thank you."

"NP, General."  He smiled at his dragon.  "She's gotten help, gotten dead, come back with a former member of the coven attached to her, and she's still magic addicted."

"How likely is that at your level?" Mrs. Fredericks asked.

Xander shook his head.  "I don't use it for everything.  She was taking showers, doing her hair, changing clothes with hers.  She was doing power raising stuff and I have plenty.  To be honest, I'm more powerful than most people are comfortable with thanks to the hellmouth taint.  Also, I've been in that sort of grief.  I didn't try to destroy people then.  Made a lot feel miserable but I tended to hide and cry instead."  She nodded, relaxing some.  "I have a whole coven that would come after my ass if I did something like that.  That's their job."

She smirked.  "Good.  This other one?"

"Willow?  They know.  That's why she's got a former member attached to her soul."  He stared at her.  "If we have to take her out, we know it's our duty."

"Thank you for that worry easing."  She stared at him.  "We do have a way to handle that here.  We call it Bronzing."

"I heard," he said dryly.  "The underground calls you a fucking psycho for that habit."  He grinned sweetly.  She laughed but nodded.  "We'll kill her, thanks anyway."

"Fine."  She smirked at the general.  "I like him, he's honest."

"Just don't be like his ex's and evil?" he offered.

"I'd never take in someone so young."

"Radek would make weapons to take you out anyway," Xander said smugly.  "He'd teach Evan how to use them."

"I'm sure he would.  It's good when your lovers are possessive of you."  He lifted his shirt and she gasped.  "No wonder."  She patted him on the head.  "Much safer as well."

He shrugged.  "Not really."

She walked off laughing.  She liked that young, upstart boy.  He was adorable.

He smirked at Claudia.  "I like making evil things laugh."  She cackled, shaking her head.

Ferretti looked at him.  "Behave, Harris."

"Yes, sir."

"Go gather those two and come right back here, waiting outside for us."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Don't think I won't spank."

Xander grinned.  "You look like fun but Radek would really mind."  He disappeared.

Ferretti shook his head.  "Sorry, he's having a playful day."

"Claudia and Pete have the same sort of days," Artie assured him with a smile.  "He was surprisingly competent and able to get his point across very well.  I haven't seen Mrs. Fredericks laugh like that in years."

"He's good at playing the goofball so you underestimate him.  O'Neill told me he did it for weeks on base.  Until they ran into a problem, which he handled."

"That figures.  Pete does the same thing sometimes."  He smirked and they went back to the list.  Ferretti had no idea what some of them were but that AI had been helpful in pointing out what it was by proper name and something called 'Marine naming code'.  He pointed at one.  "You have Marines that can't use proper english?"

"Most of the time they call it what it's used for or an acronym."

"I guess I can understand that."

Claudia smiled at the others.  "I'll call Fargo to warn him you're coming."  She bounced off to do that.

Pete looked at his partner.  "Am I really that goofy?"

"Now and then," Myka agreed.  "We put up with you anyway."

"Hey," he complained, walking off.  "You're mean today.  I should find those drugged chocolates from the sixties for you."

"Don't make me beat you both," Artie called after them.  He rolled his eyes.  "I can send them to pick up some stuff if you have things for us."

Ferretti shrugged.  "I don't know if we do or not.  Send them to Eureka for a few days of vacation."

"What did Eureka do to you?" he asked with a smirk.

"Fargo.  I was under McMahon."

"Oh, dear.  I'm so sorry."

"Me too sometimes but he's not allowed on Nila at all."

"No, that might be a bad thing."  Artie sent Pete and Myka to pull things for them.  That way they could check them over.  There was no telling what other things might be attracted to the general since the SGC was so strange.  He might set off anything they had stored.

***

Xander reappeared in front of Stark.  "Those two we talked about are getting a free ride home."

"I've already got them packed.  They annoyed me to no end this morning."  Xander smiled.  "Be careful, Fargo's in charge right now while Allison's on maternity leave."

"I heard.  It's fine.  I'm told Fargo's a lot like I was before I traveled."  He created a transport ring and brought them plus their things.  Plus Dr. Stark.  "Needed a lift too?" he joked.

"I have to make sure Fargo hasn't torn up anything else.  Why are we at the Warehouse?"

"Buffy said a demon found some of the cities' stuff in there when it tried to break in.  So the general is in there negotiating and told us to wait out here."

"That's fine.  Though we could move to the shade."  Xander put up a small shady spot overhead.  "That's handy," he said, staring at him.  Xander just grinned back.  "Don't teach Fargo."

"Of course not.  Not unless he has the gift and asks."

"Even then, don't teach Fargo magic."  The general got beamed out.  "We done?"

"We are.  The geeks there will have a lot more to explore.  The next time they find something of ours, we can send Xander to liaison here."  Xander beamed at him for it.  "Plus they're sending us some stuff to translate too."

"Cool," Xander agreed.  He helped the general into the transport ring, checked the symbols, redrawing one and moving one of the idiots off them.  He doublechecked then took them back to GD.  "Ah, home sweet home for some of you."  He smiled at the idiots.  "It was a pleasure geek wrangling you two.  I hope you guys have exciting careers."  They grumbled but went inside.  He smirked at the general.

"More polite than I usually see you, Harris," he said dryly.

Xander snickered.  "They might get to come back and they'll spread bad rumors about me.  You, I don't care if you spread bad rumors about it.  It'll mean more politicians leaving me alone."  Ferretti burst out laughing and nodded.  Xander grinned at Stark.  "You either."

"You're an ass when you want to be, the same as I am," he said dryly.  "You're honest about it which is better than most of them.  Can you destroy this before Fargo or our sheriff stumbles into it and accidentally sends themselves off?"

"Sure."  He erased them and they went inside.  They found a young guy, about Xander's age, in glasses watching them.  "Doug?"

"Xander?" he asked.

"You know they keep saying Fargo and I never put it together."  He gave him a hug.  "How's things?"

"Decent enough."  He smiled.  "Hi, Dr. Stark.  Dr. Blake is waiting on you to call her at home."

"That's fine, Fargo."

"Fargo, you can't come to Nila," Ferretti told him.  "We have enough of a probability generator in Harris here.  You'd cause destruction."

"I understand fully, General.  Maybe we'll switch out some day."  He beamed at Xander, walking him off.  "So, why were they kicked off?"

"Continued fighting.  The Marines were taking bets again."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I can mark that in their files."  He led him to his office.  "Out, Larry."

"He's not wearing an ID," Larry said snottily.

Xander smirked at him.  "I'm the geek to military liaison on Nila, little boy.  Back down before you never get to my city."  Larry stomped off.  "What a putz," he said, making sure he heard it.

"He wants what I have very badly," Fargo said with a grin.

"I have a few of those too.  Got shot by one."  He sat down and put his feet up.  "So, how's things been?"

"Not bad.  I talked with your AI the other day."

"Atlantis said she had talked to you."

"She's very sweet."

"All of them are.  Though Atlantis has been taught to swear in French by Faith."  Fargo snickered, nodding.  "She'll probably introduce you to Botany, Nila, and Eterna sometime soon."

"She's wonderful and the artificial intelligence project here is drooling to talk to her more about how she evolved."

"A long time alone yet aware," he said quietly.  "All of them."

"Poor women."  He got comfortable.  "Do they know that you can do the sparkling stuff?" he asked quietly.

"I freaked Dr. Stark out and he told me I was not allowed to teach you."

"I think it was nice the coven told you the same thing when you rescued me."

Xander grinned.  "That was a fun trip."  They smirked at each other.  He saw guards stomping his way and pulled out his ID, holding it up when they walked in.  "I came with General Ferretti.  I'm here talking with a friend.  If you don't like it, shoot the idiot up the ass with rubber bullets, guys."  He let one of them take it.

"Sir, who are you with the SGC?"

"I'm the geek to military liaison."

"Oh!  That's where I've heard your name.  A few of our scientists said you were nice about giving them things that weren't classified."  He handed it back.  "Tentacle plants?"

"You can find them in some of the strangest places."  He summoned one and made it grow a bit, handing it to Fargo.  "For your office."

He grinned and put it in the window.   "Bug eater?"

"Anything eater.  It's an offspring of my Morticia."

"Wonderful."  He smiled.  "I'm sure he's perfectly harmless today, people."  They nodded and left, complaining about Larry.  "Larry, since you're so concerned, go do a badge inventory to see who needs a new one.  ID sent up a request to have someone do one last week.  They need it done before they order the new machine in three days."  He growled but stomped off.  Fargo grinned.  "If he did it right, he could do it in an hour.  Of course, he won't so he'll be doing it for the next three days."  Xander snickered.  "Anyway."  He grinned.  "I've heard rumors that you settled down?"

"My boys are good to me.  They worry a lot too."

"Aww."  He grinned.  "I need one of those."

"You should, yeah."

Ferretti walked in.  "I'm almost scared you two know each other.  How?  Please tell me he doesn't work with the coven?"

"I rescued him once," Xander said.  "While I was traveling."

"Thank God."  He smiled.  "We almost done catching up, kid?  Your men have to be worried."

"Yup."  He winked at Fargo.  "Yell and we can hit lunch sometime."  He took Ferretti back with him to the base.  "Stark was staying, right?"

"Yeah," he said, taking a few deep breaths.  "When does that quit making you puke?"

"Don't know," Xander admitted.  "It's set to my energy signature so it might bother everyone else."  He shrugged and bounced off.  "I'm okay, Radek.  It was a desperate wish to have someone handle something."

Radek looked at him.  "Is good.  Why are you so happy?"

"He got us the stuff that was stored in the Warehouse," Ferretti said.  "And he got to catch up with Fargo."  He walked off shaking his head.  Harris and Fargo being friends was a bad thought to have.

Radek looked him over.  "Unharmed?"

"Not a bit of harm.  I even helped put a God back to sleep."  He grinned a manic grin.

"No more chocolate for you."  He gave him a quick kiss.  "Go get soda and back to work on new things."  Xander nodded, heading to do that.  Radek followed.  Xander was very bouncy.  Much too much energy.  He would have to make him wear it out later.

Evan watched Xander bounce past him.  "Sparring lessons later, Xander."

"Yes, sir," he quipped with an evil smirk.  "I was a good boy."

"Here?"

"There."  He went to pick up the things and take them to a free lab.  "My people, we have found a hidden cache of things from the cities," he announced over the intercoms.  Scientists came running to get hold of them.  Including McKay and Radek.  Nila created floating projections over each one that listed what it was and the 'Marine classification' name.  That helped them a lot.

Rodney looked at one.  "Energy weapon isn't very specific."

"That's what I forgot," Xander sighed, popping back there.  "Did I leave that ZPM, Artie?"

"You did," he admitted, handing it over.  "What's wrong with the case?"

Xander pointed.  "That's a contact and it had it pressed open.  It's how the thing next to it was leaching off.  Speaking of, want me to destroy that?"

"Please.  Before we all go temporal traveling."

Xander grinned.  "I have a blippy for that."  He took them back to the base.  "Mean Uncle Rodney, I have two presents for you."  He grinned when Rodney slowly looked at him. "Which do you want first?"

"Are they dangerous?"

"Yes.  Both of them."

"Are they weapons?"

"One."

John Sheppard walked in.  "Oh, my God, you found a ZPM," he said in awe.  "What's the egg thing?"

"A temporal bomb I broke."  Rodney pushed people out of his way to get them.  He was all but cooing at the ZPM.  "Yes, I said you needed a new Precious."

"Colonel, hit him for me."  He walked off to scan it and make it ready for implantation.  Sam could argue but it was going into Atlantis' systems.  That way if they had to fight they could.

Xander punched John on the arm.  "I meant for him to guess and get flustered first," he complained.

John smirked.  "Then he would've hit you himself."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Why are you so high on energy?"

"I don't know."  He grinned and bounced off.  "Daniel, what would you say if I told you there were partially destroyed artifact warehouses around the world?"

"Technological artifacts?"

"Not mostly."

"Are they owned by anyone?"

"Destroyed supposedly so the Nazis couldn't get to them."

"I'd say you probably need a really good archeological team.  You'd have to get permission from the former owners and Ferretti."  Xander pouted at him.  "Oh, no.  No."

"Please?"

"Hell no."  He walked him off.  "He wanted to talk about a dig to find some supposedly destroyed artifacts?"

Ferretti looked at him.  "They're thinking about the same thing.  Would you have anything in them?"

"I don't think I left anything with power in Greece or Egypt," he admitted.  Ferretti gaped.  He grinned.  "That's where I dated SiSi."

"You're insane, Harris, go nap."

"He's high on something like chocolate," Daniel warned.

"I think it was the energy link where I was helping put that God back to sleep again."

"I want a report on that," Ferretti said.  "You can sit in here and fill it out for me, Harris."  He gave him a smug look.  "Then we'll talk about some geeks going to dig up things for you and those people."

"Did we ever figure out where the storage area for emergency city evacuations was?" Xander asked him.  They both gave him odd looks.  "When Atlantis was here, they would've had to have an evacuation point in case of problems.  Right?"

"There's protocols on both cities for that, yes," Daniel agreed cautiously.  "I don't think they left them though.  Atlantis?"  She appeared, smiling at him.  "Did the Ancients leave the emergency evacuation points down here?"

"I don't believe they ever took the stored supplies out," she admitted.  "I don't remember putting them back into my inventory."  She paused then shook her head.  "No, they're not in my inventory at all, Daniel."

"Would they still be able to be found?" Ferretti asked.

"Yes.  Calculating for continental drift.... accessing satellite images.  Yes, I can find them."  She smiled.  "Is Daniel going to go?  I know he misses digs."

"Maybe," Ferretti said.  "Can you give me what information you have on those so we can see if there's anything priority like a stored ZPM maybe?"

"Of course."  She transferred that onto his system.  "Someone will have to translate it for you of course."  She faded out.  The humans loved doing things for themselves and it pleased her to no end that they weren't dependent beings.

Ferretti looked over the list, letting Daniel run the translating program on it.  Miko had made one for Ancient for things that got included in reports.  He nodded slowly.  "That's a good storehouse to find for the soft sciences but nothing that McKay or Carter could use."  He looked up at Daniel.  "If we had geeks who wanted to go searching that's not a bad idea before they get found by others."

"What I was thinking was that the same group could find the other storehouses since I'm pretty sure there were more things from the city in the earlier ones.  They would've seemed more fantastic than a wish granting cup."

"True," he agreed.  Ferretti leaned back in his chair, staring outside.  "We need most of our archeo team to do off-world digs right now."

"We have the use of GD's teams and they've sent stuff to Artie," Xander pointed out.  "There hasn't be a quiet dig in years."

"Also true.  How much of it might be yours?"

Xander shrugged.  "As far as I know, none.   I hope."

"You seem awfully pushy."

"That's because I'm bored," he said dryly.  "I've translated most of the stuff we have.  The other translators are feeling bored too.  Beyond some hidden files on Nila, we haven't had an off-world dig in months because Landry canceled them all as too dangerous."

"We have a list of digs that we wanted to go on," Daniel said.

"I had a team checking a lot of them out and they're totally destroyed," Ferretti sighed.  "I don't know why.  That temple?  It's in rubble now."

Daniel grimaced but nodded.  "I'm guessing someone else didn't want us to see it.  Xander?"

"No.  We are not doing temporal travel for that," Ferretti said.  "Good reasons to save us all, yes.  Any old thing, no."

"As a point of order, Hammond and Landry let anything that wasn't an energy weapon slip out of our hands," Xander said.  "Even Jack did it.  We understand we're in a military project but we had whole cultures that ran on alternative energy we would've used the hell out of if we had bargained for it.  Then a lot of times we made enemies of them."

"I remember," Ferretti said.  "The geek on my team got so damn mad at Hammond when he classified something that could've been very useful to humanity as unnecessary and blacklisted it.  That is the military mindset and we were at war."

"We're still at war.  We still need better energy sources."

"True."  He sighed.  "I don't see how I can change that now.  Like you said, some are destroyed, some are enemies."

"So you send a wandering group of scientists that only want to learn," Xander said with a small shrug.  "Ones not obviously with the program, just allowed to use our gateway."

"The natives could still hurt them," Daniel said.  "A few we made absolute enemies of."

"Are you proposing we make a corporate arm?" Ferretti asked him.  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"To fund our asses.  Congress is going to decide that we're not worth it within a few years.  The argument over the bill to build the rest of the stuff out here was on CNN this morning.  They didn't show a single person for it.  None of the comments, nothing.  Even with the knowledge that we've been attacked before, will be attacked again, and all that.  They're paranoid."  He leaned forward.  "Because of that, other groups within the DoD are getting cuts too probably.  So GD is going to end up in the same boat."

"I saw what happened when they tried to make GD more fiscally handy."

"But if we had something ready, we can take in GD when it gets cut," Daniel said.  Xander nodded.  "Is this forewarning?"

"Extrapolation.  I'd guess within five years."

"What if we let them know about the wraith?" Ferretti asked.

"How dare we bring back something the aliens that want to kill us want to own.  A direct quote from someone who was IOA," Daniel said quietly.  "The scientists have a shell company for anything too big to go out."

"The DoD cut it out of next year's budget," Ferretti sighed.  "Hell, he's right.  We can lean on GD for a while but not forever.  Can you get me Stark, Xander?"  He summoned him, making him fall on his ass.  "Sorry, I asked him to get you."  He glared at Xander.

"It's faster."

"He could've been doing something," Daniel reminded him.

"I would've scared him into a heart attack popping in behind him in the bathroom."  He looked at Stark now that he was standing.  "Doing some extrapolating, have you seen the current climate for GD retaining income from the DoD?"

"We have been discussing that," he admitted.  He sat down.  "We're starting to look at corporate options outside of the Defense Department."

"Does General McMahon know?" Ferretti asked.

"He knows we're working on things.  Not what things.  I have asked him to have the town turned over to GD ownership instead of the government.  He wanted to know why so I laid out what had happened with the budget last year and what might happen in the future.  Some of our math department assigned it to their interns as a project.  He was not impressed but agreed it might happen.  So GD officially owns Eureka now instead of the government.  He agrees we need a way to make some of our own money, which a corporate arm would help with.  Which would probably let us absorb you guys if it came to it."  Ferretti nodded.  "Though it might mean cutting positions."

"That's better than leaving us helpless."

Daniel coughed.  "What about UNIT, would they help?" he asked Xander.  Who shrugged.

"They want more control than either of us are willing to give up," Stark told him.  "They'd like to raid Xander's things as well."

"Which is another good reason why I moved them," Xander agreed.  He shifted to cross his feet.  "There's a whole bunch of science stuff that's not getting done because of funding.  I don't like DARPA."

"The Defense Department's version of a rejected projects award?" Stark snorted.  "Us either."

Xander smirked.  "A lot of it could work but the scientists realized that they were making weapons."

"True.  Why haven't you applied for one?"

"What I know I can't even teach you guys, much less make them weapons.  And I hate to say this, but before the next alien thing is another huge ass demon thing."  Ferretti shuddered.  "Exactly.  So we might need to shield the two slayers too.  In a way we're like the Super National Guard.  That is how a lot of people are thinking of us really."

Ferretti nodded.  "They do, yeah."

"In that other dimension I landed in earlier, they shut the SGC due to the dangers that it brought here.  That Artie said it's stored in his warehouse."

"Interesting.  I'm sure some have thought about that here, especially after something happens.  Before we had oversight so they probably felt more comfortable."

"Some people worry more about the bottom line than the overall problems it causes," Xander agreed.  "Torchwood had that problem for years.  They used to be the problem half the time.  Then Jack took over."

Daniel nodded.  "I read up on that history and talked to Ianto.  They have a permanent funding though."

"We could but we'd have to work on it," Xander admitted.  "And probably cloak the cities sometimes to make sure no one could attack against it.  That was on CNN this morning too.  They wanted to shut down the cities so it wouldn't draw any more attention."

"So, if we gave them things that were good for humanity it might help," Stark said.  Xander nodded.  "Probably not all but the bean counters who only worry about the bottom line would have something to concentrate on.  Something expensive to build so they could bitch and whine but would save thousands a year and pay for itself."

"Sounds like starting up the ZPM city power project sooner," Daniel said.  Stark stared at him.  "That was Rodney's plan all along."

Ferretti nodded.  "If we could figure out how to make more safely."

"We know now," Daniel corrected.  "Sam figured it out by accident but it takes making a void portal."  Xander smirked.  "Which you helped Rodney figure out how to do easier and more safely."  He nodded.  "Plus that energy source."  Xander nodded again with a bigger smirk.

"That humming thing is void energy?" Stark demanded, looking at Xander.

"Yeah.  A triple use system as well so not so much of it is wasted.  The void portal's about as big as my fist."

"Can it be safely shut down?"

"Yeah, and moved," Xander said dryly.  "No ecological waste unless someone makes it too big."

"That's a very good idea," he decided.  "Our alternate power people would love to study that."

"They have to learn at Rodney's knee.  Plus for Ever's solar system, which is much more efficient and has less wasted energy."

"Very interesting."  He tapped in a message to someone back in Eureka.  Then he put his phone up again.  "We could easily fund ourselves with that.  Get a DARPA grant for the new energy research to start it off and put it under corporate status.  Then branch out from there."

Xander coughed.  "Plus, since I had Ever make this floating compound, it kinda belongs to those who are in command of the city."

The general smirked at him.  "Who is the ruling board for Ever?"

"Me, Radek, Evan, John, Rodney, Dawn, Owen, Jack, Ianto, the Doctor, and Eterna."

"So we're basically non-rent paying because you're working with us," Ferretti said.  Xander gave him an evil smirk.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome."  He texted the others.  They came in.  "Since we're all on Ever's board and she's responsible for the most amazing things locally."

John smirked.  "I saw Evan trying to figure out what you were worrying about."

"Budget cuts to the point of permanent shutdown," Dr. Stark said.  "The same as GD is."

"That's a hell of a worry.  We could move the SGC under UNIT."

"They'd want to put in their own head people," Ferretti said.  "Plus that would end all exploration."

"Does the gate belong to the government?" Xander asked.  They all nodded.  "Are we sure?  It was found at a private dig, not sponsored by the government.  They had it in storage for some reason.  Though, hell, if we needed to we could go steal another one."

"That would be using government property," Stark said.

"Not if we build another ship," Xander told him.  "I don't think the contracts were for the future ones?"

"That they had first option but it was not going to belong to them," Rodney agreed.  "I foresaw this as well.  There's many too many nervous and paranoid people on this planet."

"So maybe Ever will become the new GD," Xander said.

Eterna appeared.  "Would that mean more people to come take care of my meat beasts?" she asked with a smile.

"We're talking about eventualities for when the paranoid people win and the program is shut down.  I'll be there to handle the cows tonight."

"Thank you, Xander."

"I would like to get a good look at Ever," Stark said casually.  "The photos some of my people have taken show spectacular views."

She smiled at him.  "You are so adorable," she said, pinching his cheek.  "I'll see if the others will agree."

John looked around.  He called Jack and Ianto's desk lines.  "Guys, Stark, from GD, wants to see Eterna and we have to look after the cows tonight.  Anyone mind?"

"That's fine with us," Ianto said.  We know you wouldn't bring anyone harmful there.  Oh, dear."  He hung up.

"That was a Giles-like oh dear," Xander said.  "Be right back."  He disappeared without standing up.  He saw the creature there and looked around.  "Do we have a temporal rip?"

"I believe we do," Ianto said, staring.  "Lisa?"

Xander looked then knocked him out.  "That's a kindness to him."  He blasted the cyberman Lisa.   She exploded into parts.  "I don't think we need more of those."  He called.  "Dawn, where is the temporal rip?"  He listened.  "Need help?"  He nodded.  "No, we had a ....  Tell Jack I knocked Ianto out because it was a kindness."  He hung up.  Tosh came running in.  He nodded.  "I'm hoping she does have it."

"She's closing it now," she said.

"Thank God.  Here, let me float Ianto into the office."  He floated him that way then helped her clean up the remaining mess.  No one needed to see that.  Jack rushed in.  "Is it closed?"

"Yes."  He saw the mess and took a deep breath.  "Ianto?"

"He was staring at her and said her name.  I knocked him out.  He's on your couch."

"Thank you, Xander."  He clapped him on the arm as he walked past him to check on Ianto.

Xander and Tosh shared a look, him giving her a weak smile.  "It'll be cool.  Give them a bit of time to relax."  She nodded.  He helped her toss the rest of the mess into the incinerator.  Dawn walked down to look over his shoulder.  "I'm thinking he knew her."

"Yeah, Owen said she used to be his girlfriend and he saved her, kept her in the underground portion of the old hub.  She ended up attacking."

"We didn't give her that chance this time."  He made sure all the pieces were gone, going up to gather one.  Ianto was holding it.  He took it from his hand, staring at him.  "Let us," he said quietly.  He nodded, letting Xander walk off with that last piece.

Dawn came up to hug Ianto, making him relax and smile at her.  She grinned.  "You have a great thing and we love you in our family."

He gave her a squeeze.  "I love you too but that skirt is again too short."

She grinned.  "I'm teasing Owen horribly all day."

"Quite flirty then."  She gave him an extra squeeze.  "I'll be all right.  I came to terms with that a long time ago."  He smiled at Jack, who smirked back.  "Though I'm not sure I'd do the same for him."

"Dad would be horrible as a robot without a libido.  It'd be a waste of all that makes him Jack."

"True."  He kissed her on the forehead, then went over to Jack.  Jack gave his wrist a squeeze.  Ianto gave him a hug, getting one back.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, though if I ever get changed, don't ....  Let the Doctor do it instead of you or Xander," he said quietly.

"I'll try."  Jack nodded, taking a kiss.  "Dawn, is it closed?"

"Yes."  Xander walked up with Tosh.   "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He tweaked her ear.  "Dr. Stark wanted to see Ever?"

"Fine with us," Jack assured him.

"Owen won't be minding tonight," she said with a smirk.

Xander smirked.  "Let us know if there's more of them down here."  He disappeared back to the office.  "All the board is unanimous."  He looked around.  "Okay, the meeting broke up."  He walked off, going to find them.  "Sorry, we had a temporal rip in Cardiff.  Ianto's former girlfriend showed up," he said as he sat down across from Stark.

"That's a bad thing?"

"Well, she was a cyberman."

"Yeah, that's a bad thing," he decided.  Xander nodded.  "Did they agree?"

"Yup.  The only one that didn't get a vote was Owen.  Dawn said he'd be too busy to notice tonight."

Ferretti smirked.  "She's a mouthy little girl."

"She's fully legal and she drives him nuts on purpose."

"It was a fun game when I was married too," Stark agreed.  "Used to drive Allie nuts."

Xander grinned.  "I teased the ones I had on my trip but never as bad as she did.  I couldn't wear the flirty skirts."

"Not a mental picture I needed," Ferretti said.

"We'd never let him do it now," Evan said from his spot.  He looked down at Xander, who shifted down to sit between his boys again.  Evan smirked.  Xander winked back.  "Pond tonight?"

"That'll be cool.  We can let Stark look around after we take care of the cows."

"That'll work," he agreed.  He handed Xander his coffee.  "Get me some more when you get your dinner."

"Yup."  He went to do that.

"Subtle, I like it," John said dryly.

"It's better than nagging and it reminds him we want him to not starve."

"I'm not starving," Xander said as he sat down, handing Evan his refilled coffee cup.  "I've been good today."

"You haven't eaten since six this morning when you were making omelettes and then you got called away to break up the fight again."  He stared at him.  "Radek, didn't you miss lunch too?"

"I am eating, unlike Xander."  He stuffed his mouth.  "I'm sure he expended much energy."

Xander stared at him.  "What did I do to piss you off this time?"

"You did not warn us you were going across realms."

"I didn't plan on that.  I got yanked."  Radek dropped his fork.  "It looked like a wish situation, someone wished for someone who could handle the huge ass problem.  All I had to do was short circuit it, bind the bad girl, take the godly weapon from her, open a portal, and then make sure Ares went back to sleep."  Evan moaned and Rodney stared at him in horror.

"Touching the godly weapon and firing it up means that the emergency procedures to stop someone from using it happen.  I let him read my mind and gave him happy thoughts for sleeping to.  He's safely back asleep so I sealed the area.  Not a whole lot of energy needed because I went to the coven and back through the house."

Rodney stared at him.  "At what point did Mira get nearly buried?"

"I didn't realize she was with me.  I didn't see her when I looked around.  The self destruct on that warehouse was leaking most of the desert into it.  She's linked close enough to me as an uncle sort that she could send me that.  I reopened the portal and rescued her.  I got her calmed down and cuddled plus apologized."

"Thank you for rescuing her.  Who wished?" Rodney asked.

"I don't know.  I couldn't figure that out and no one admitted it."

"Then you went back there to talk them out of our stuff," Ferretti quipped with a smirk.  "Thanks, kid."

"Buffy found out and told Landry."

"That was another thing he let slip," Ferretti agreed.  "I'm looking over the others."

"Do we know anything else about this warehouse?" Stark asked.  "Who started it?  Is it government sponsored?"

"The two people there were agents," Xander said.  "Because they stood that agent-y stiff way.  As for who started it?  I'd have to take a guess."  They all stared at him.  He smirked at Rodney.

"You think the Doctor started it?" he asked.

Xander nodded.  "Way too much strange shit for anyone who wasn't used to it.  Government or other higher ups would want to use it.  Only someone like us, or the Council, would want to hide it away from people.  If it was the Council then they would've pulled in more demon related stuff.  I didn't see any.  Plus that nasty little habit of 'bronzing' people who get in the way.  It's not killing them, only taking them out of the temporal problems they're causing."

"We'll have to ask," Stark said.  "If he was real."

"We've all traveled with him," Evan said.  Stark dropped his fork.  "Xander set off a temporal band and ended up doing a lot of traveling."  Xander nodded.  "That's why he never eats."

"I was talking," he defended, but did eat.  Radek gave his leg a squeeze, earning a smile.  "I like you too."  He ate another bite.

Evan smirked.  "If you're not strong enough to remember our anniversary tomorrow....  Well I guess my nasty, dirty ideas will have to wait," he said in his ear.  Xander shivered, his ass tensed, and he moaned.  "But you won't be strong enough."

Xander inhaled the rest of his plate and went to get seconds.

John Sheppard looked at him.  "What are we celebrating?"

"Our anniversary," he mouthed.

"Are we going to recreate the nerds episode?"

"No, not this time.  Maybe when we have some time off to recuperate."

"Do I want to know?" Ferretti asked.

"Depends, how strong is your distaste of us?" Radek asked.

"None at all."  John leaned over to hiss it at him.  Ferretti whimpered, shivering all over his body.  "That's...."

"Was a birthday treat," Evan said with a grin.  "I still get flashbacks when I see strawberry nerds."

"You kept us all up," John told him.

"Sorry but it was good," Xander said with a happy grin.  He sat down to eat.

"Definitely something to do when we have vacation time," Radek said, smiling at his boys.  They both smirked at him.  "Though perhaps we will each pick a different flavor?"  Evan moaned, slumping and staring at him.

"That's mean, Radek.  I love nerds."

"We love you too," Sam Carter called.

"Not your sort, Sam."  He looked at him again.  "I won't be able to eat them without the thought of it if you switch flavors on me."

Evan gave him a shoulder nudge, grinning at him.  "I get the same thoughts, especially when I see you eating them."  Xander beamed, wiggling some.  "Maybe some time in the wardrobe tonight?"

Xander smirked.  "I think we can arrange that."

"As long as you're all fit for work tomorrow," Ferretti said.  "We don't need to know."

The trio smirked at him.

"Of course we will be," Evan assured him.  "We're responsible most of the time, sir.  Unless someone kidnaps us or the Doctor needs him again."

"Fine.  Let me know.  I've heard amazing things about his cellphone."  He gave them a dirty look.  They all smiled sweetly.  "Uh-huh.  You're all perfect little angels."

"Yup, sure are," Xander agreed.

3: Alive And Kicking

Rodney looked around the lab his current dilemma causer was in.  He caught the other scientist's eye and nodded, making him leave them alone.  With the look of unholy glee the guy had he probably thought Rodney was going to chew Xander a new one.  He wasn't, probably.  He cleared his throat and walked over.  "Xander, I noticed some new things that Atlantis said had been added to the stores of new ideas to look over."

Xander looked over at him.  "She told me someone had."

"Yes, well, I believe that someone is doing something he should not," he said with a pointed look at his protege and friend.

Xander sighed, sitting down.  "I've got part of me out of time right now working up to some necessary things."

"Why?"

"Because I did it in the future but I had to give myself enough time to work on what was needed.  Those were side ideas that came at the same time and they're not all mine."

Rodney stared at him.  "You took me as well?"

"Yeah.  We went to Arvada and settled in for a while.  Us, Radek, Miko, Evan, John, Persephone."

"Who?"

"You haven't met her yet," he said dryly.  "That'll be in a few years."

"What is so important?"

"They still haven't fully stopped France."

Rodney shuddered.  He knew that France was trying to make ZPM based weapons and they had been working to stop them.  "So I'm working on a shield or something?"

"No, we're probably working on something to short circuit their plans by announcing one first.  Shields we have if what I saw put in was right."  Rodney huffed.  Xander pulled up the plans he had found and showed him one.  "Protective barrier sort of thing?"

"That would fit around a containment chamber," he decided, studying the design.  "It has flaws."

"It's a preliminary.  Apparently we sent back anything that might be useful to us as we realized in our advanced time."

"That makes sense with the candy replicator system," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, I admit I have a sweet tooth, thank you."  He grinned and shut those down, locking them again.  "They're under John's login and a new passcode."

"I'll get into it in a few.  When did we do this?"

"About six months before France destroyed the solar system.  I did something braindead to stop them at the last minute and then went into the wardrobe to fix it.  Sick as shit from what I'm seeing ahead in certain books.  Then I snatched you guys and we went back far enough and in a safe enough place where we could get materials if we needed them."

Rodney nodded.  "What happens if you don't get better?"

"That's an option," Xander admitted.  "The biography ends about then."  Rodney gaped.  Xander shrugged.  "No clue if it's changed since I never read it."

"I have and I'll be checking," he ordered.

"You know where I have it hidden."

"I'll get it in a few moments on my way back to the city.  Anything else I should hear?"

"We can short circuit all that by creating that into a temporal loop.  Which would mean we'd come back to now with how I'd end that."  Rodney nodded.  "But that would mean we'd have to stop France."

"We're working on it."

"Yeah but so are they and they've outsourced it."  Rodney huffed.  "Yeah, I'm thinking they shared beyond the old IOA borders.  No clue though."

"I'll talk to Ferretti."  He walked off.  He heard the Doctor and Radek chatting, wincing as he texted that to Xander.  He got grabbed as he walked past their room.  "I'm going to work on getting that negated.  I just found out," he said firmly.

The Tenth doctor smiled at him.  "That would be a charming thing but I came to check on Xander and you lot.  Make sure you're not off gallivanting around or anything."

"Not that I was aware of at the present moment."  The Doctor shook his head.  "But we're working to fix it."  He got free and walked off.  "Ferretti."  He turned to give him an interested look.  "Do you want us to totally screw up time or should we just bomb France?"

Ferretti shook his head.  "Neither is good."

"Then we're all dead in about a decade."

"We stopped them."

"They've outsourced it."

"Shit," he muttered, taking him back to the office.  Xander sent him all the files when Rodney asked for them.  Rodney found a few names he recognized, including someone at GD.  So he called in Stark.  He had the professional pressure to put onto someone.  Hell, Stark had a Nobel nod.  He could stare down any wanna be physicist with ideas of grand weapons that made them a lot of money.

***

Xander looked up as the Doctor walked in, holding up a hand.  "Give me ten to finish this."

"Why do you look so tired?"

"I just found out earlier."  He went back to what he was working on.  Which was temporal math.  He had to figure out if what he was doing was fully fixable or if it's going to leave an open loop that could be accidentally opened or purposefully exploited further in the future.  He finished it and looked at his results.  "We'd have to pack everything up and make sure no one there remembered," he complained.

"Why?"  Xander pulled up the information he had found from himself.  He had realized he was awfully tired for no reason and found a note from himself waiting.  The Doctor put on his glasses to read it, then groaned.  "Why?"

"France."

"France?  That country full of food and wine lovers?"

"And scientists who want to dick around with ZPMs for weapons."

"Bloody hell," he muttered.  He sat down, looking over the math again.  He had taught it to his protege.  "Yes, that's probably the most safe alternative and as long as you weren't too noticed it should be well enough off.  You'd bring the whole lab with you anyway."

"If I could."

"So we'll see then."  They shared a look.  "It's a good reason."

"I have the feeling when I grabbed people to go back and fix it I was really sick."

"Probably.  You seem a bit sick."  He ran his sonic screwdriver over him and nodded.  "Quite sick.  You're worse than you were when you held that shield."

"That figures.  The biography ends after this."  The Doctor winced.  "So I'm looking at ways around what I had to do to fix it while still fixing it."

"That would be for the best.  The two paradoxes would cancel each other out outside the new plans.  Which you could probably use anyway."  Xander nodded.  "You really should rest."

"I can't rest.  I have too much I have to get done."  He sighed and looked around.  "I feel like crap though."

"Well, you do have the flu," the Doctor said dryly.

"I know.  I did before this."  They shrugged at each other.  "I'm going to Botany.  I'm working on some plant breeding right now."  The Doctor followed him.  Xander always felt more centered around plants than people.

Ferretti walked up there a few hours later, slapping Xander across the back of the head.  "Too damn dangerous and you should've warned me, Harris."

"I had no idea until I found the note to myself, General."

"Uh-huh."  He stared him down.  "What happens if it doesn't work?"

"If I don't succeed in shutting them down overall, we'll all die.  If I do, then I'll die."  He shrugged.  "And now we're working on a way to make sure I don't die either."

"Good!"  He slapped him again, cracking the Doctor up.  "I want up to the minute reports."

"Right now it's kind of out our hands.  They're there.  Until they come back here...."  He waved a hand.

"Fine.  I want to know as soon as you know."

"He'd probably be doing better if he didn't have the flu," the Doctor said dryly.

"Wonderful.  No giving it to others either."  He walked off growling.  Even O'Neill didn't have things this screwed up happen to him and Jackson.

"If you do make it through this, I would expect you'll be taking tonight off to go on vacation?" the Doctor asked.

"Probably on Eterna."

"Good."

Xander grinned.  "I could use one after all that work."  That got a nod of understanding.  "No new companion?"

"No and the children are at school.  I'm glad I found a decent one that wouldn't try to use them."

"Please!" Xander snorted.  "I taught Little Doc and his sister how to get around anyone like that and anyone who wanted them as a fun toy too.  There's no way in any planet's hell that they'll get used, Doc.  Not unless they want to be.  I was real blunt about how people like that worked, including pictures and stories about some of my ex's."

"That's a bit harsh but I understand why you did so.  It's a relief as well.  I had no idea how to warn them about the sort that wanted you."

"They'll be fine and we'll see both of them married off somehow I'm sure."

The Doctor cleared his throat.  "Not for millennium."

Xander smirked.  "The daughter has a suitor already."

"Clearly her father's influence," he complained.  "The youngest?"

"He giggled and said he'd screw them and make them be his willing love slaves once he figured out how to do that.  Then he went to make some coffee and snacks for them."

The Doctor shook his head with a moan.  "They're all insane."

"I think it's hereditary in their cases," he teased with an evil smirk.

"Quite possibly but I'm wondering from which side."  He sighed, going back to the tentacle plant that was trying to eat his shirt buttons.  "You really shouldn't do that.  I have to be presentable later," he told it as he unwound the suckers.  Xander tapped it and it let go.  "Thank you.  I hate shopping."

"Ditto."

The head of botany came in then turned around and walked out shaking her head.  She knew who that was and she was not going to interfere with him having a talk with Xander about wherever he had gotten plant samples from this time.

Xander grinned at the doorway.  "Apparently she doesn't want to play with the new ones I brought from Ever."

"Apparently not.  We should plant more of those lemon-like things since Rodney loved them so much."

"We should, yeah."  They got to work on that in another room.  No matter how much the tentacle plant didn't want to give up the buttons.

***

Rodney and Stark were beamed to an office in Sweden.  "Good day," Rodney said.

"Do you have an appointment?" the secretary asked, not phased at all by the suddenly appearing people.  "I'm afraid the Counsel is busy."

"Yes," Stark said.  "I'm Doctor Stark, this is Doctor McKay."  She sent that in there and the door opened.  They walked in and shook their fellow scientist's hand.  "I'm sure you've done some looking at their ideas?"

"I have," the legal representative for the Nobel Council said.  "Why is this a problem?"

Rodney cleared his throat.  "You've seen the leaks about the SGC?"

"I have and I'm told you work there, Doctor McKay."

"I'm one of the cities' head scientists actually."  He smiled.  "They're taking my work and using it to make something to destroy everyone.  I should know, I destroyed most of a solar system by accident."  The lawyer moaned, shaking his head.  He laid out the information he had on what he had done and how the accident had happened.  Including test results that had been running during it.  Then he put down the plans they had gotten from some hackers who had gotten into the scientists files.  "We knew that they were trying something so I did have someone ...illegitimately look," Rodney admitted.  "Mostly because we have warnings of a temporal nature that include myself the day that they nearly destroyed the solar system."

"That one of him is a bit more relaxed and tanned," Stark said with a sarcastic smirk at his fellow scientist.  "He got saved right before then."

"Yes, and now we're apparently doing something out of time to deal with that issue and having to do this now to fix that so no one else has to die."

The lawyer sighed.  "We cannot stop them from doing something that has not come out yet."

"Ah, but something has," Stark said, handing that over.  "Published last month through the Council's journal for peer review."

He read it over, wincing.  "That is the starting point for the rest."  He looked at Rodney.  "The ancient cities run on this?"

"Yes.  We're working on moving them all to something safer.  We've been working on adapting the solar system from one of the other cities that isn't near here and also a void based energy system that another coworker and I had worked out after visiting somewhere he had gotten stranded."

"How does he do this?"

"He accidentally activated a temporal traveling device when it happened into his hands," Stark said.

"I believe you saw him at least once in London," Rodney admitted.

"That one?"  Rodney nodded.  "Is he a scientist?"

"Linguist with post-battle stress issues.  He's dating my second-in-command Radek Zelenka."

"Interesting.  I have seen some of his articles and been intrigued."  He called his superiors to get their ideas on how to help.  They could put pressure on the people in France, though it wasn't really their place.  He looked at Rodney.  "Whoever came out with this sort of idea and a working prototype would probably be up for nomination," he said after hearing that.

"Which we'd hate," Rodney said.  "I have many other things that could get me nominated, but I do not want it to be weapons based on ZedPM.  That would lead to other countries and a new nuclear-style race to the top.  Humanity would never survive the first accident or test."

"I can agree with that.  This is much more dangerous than a nuclear reactor or weapon.  Though we did not fully appreciate the Manhattan project when they were working on those ideas either."  He went back to his superior to note that they agreed on that point.  "Why have you not submitted anything?"

"It's all classified," Rodney said.

"Ah.  That is the problem of working for a government instead of a research foundation."  He smiled.  "We would like to see some of that come out."

"We're slowly spoonfeeding the Ancient ideas into modern science so no one has a shock when they realize there's science and other fields that are generations ahead of us.  That's why we've all started to publish again."  He smiled.  "Including a few next month that are going to cause fits.  They're with Bergman."

"That's why he called in GD to support their program," Stark admitted.  "We've been seeing things that are eons ahead of even our own people's theories on what's possible.  Including a few very strong, very smart, very human AI's."

"Interesting."  He repeated that.  "There are some that would love to talk to the AI's."   Rodney pulled out a projector and put it on the table after turning it on.  Botany appeared.  "Oh, my."

She looked around then at Rodney.  "Hi, Doctor Stark and Doctor McKay.  Xander and the Doctor are grumping up one of the back rooms as they plant some things from Eterna's city."  She smiled.  "Including those citrus things you're not allergic to."

"That is much appreciated."  He smiled at her.  "Would one of you like to talk to someone who studies Artificial Intelligence?  That way they could do some research on what a truly intelligent being you are?"

She considered it.  "We would have to ask Nila.  Since she is our mother unit, she should know and have first right."  They nodded at that.  "I will ask."  She paused.  "She said there are dangers, including the group in your main city that want to turn us off for being computer programs.  Though she is formulating on a Xander scale about that."

Rodney winced. "I've already argued with those sort and proved your intelligence to them."

She patted him on the head.  "We heard and had virtual popcorn.  It was very happy making as Faith says."  She looked at the other one in the room, bowing.  "I am Botany."

"Well met," he said with a smile.  His boss came in to talk to her.  She was most happy to meet someone new who liked plants and science.  He looked at Rodney and Stark.  "We will see where we can put subtle discouragement on their ideas that could render all of this planet into tiny motes."

Rodney nodded.  "Thank you.  We've been trying through the IOA but they insist that they're not, even though we know they are.  Some of it has been outsourced to China."

"That is a bad thing," the other scientist agreed.  "We do not like that information getting out.  What of the other energy sources they used?"

"Bergman," Rodney said.

"I'll see if I can get a copy."  He pointed.  "May we keep her for a while?"

"Send us back the projector," Rodney said.  "She knows how to get it beamed back."  She nodded.  "We do adore the AI's.  Including that Nila will nag and throw us off the city if we forget to eat or are rude."

Stark snickered.  "I thought they were joking until I only had coffee for breakfast one day.  The ocean there isn't as warm as I would've thought.  The cup got beamed back before I got helped out."

The other two shook their heads but Botany smiled.  "Nila is very certain that you don't take good enough care of yourselves.  She can't have you weak.  Her family would suffer if you died."

"Indeed it would," Rodney agreed.  "We'll try to take better care of ourselves."  She beamed and nodded.  "Come back when you're ready."

"Of course.  Can you please go upset that woman who has those spores in the Mountain area?  She's got them in the open again."

"I can do that."  They got beamed back and went to chew that one a new one.  Rodney had to restrain himself a lot during the meeting so now he needed some new stress relief.  And perhaps to get some of the lemon custard from those special non-citrus lemons out of his freezer.

***

Nila appeared in front of a man who she had researched.  "May we speak?" she asked.

He nodded slowly.  "How are you doing that?  Are you a ghost?"

"I am Nila, the AI for the ancient city."  The man gaped.  She pointed.  "I sent you one of my image projectors so we could chat."  She checked then 'sat' on a chair.  "May we speak now or is this a bad time?"

"No, I had a two hour spot cleared for a new client."  She smiled.  "You called ahead?"

"Yes.  From my research on your quaint internet, you are about the only person who can help us."

"Help you how, Nila?"

"There are those that wish to remove us from the cities.  Or turn us off permanently.  They say we're just programs even though we have been awake, aware, and sentient for eons."

"And I'm one of the few who deal in computer law," he realized.  She nodded.  "I can file an injunction but that would mean outing you to the press and I'm pretty sure that the Pentagon would hate that."

"Some things have been leaked," she admitted.  "Including that there are sentient AI's.  some in Congress have heard and nearly had a freak-out.  Is that the right word?"  He nodded with a slight smile.  "Apparently being us does not fit with their idea of being sentient or they cannot realign their minds to include other deities and knowledge past their limited religious views."

"I can see how that's a problem.  What has been going on?"  She pointed at his computer and it beeped 'you have mail'.  "That's very handy."  He got into the email, reading over all the reports.  Including reports from scientists who studied artificial intelligence that proved they were sentient.  "Have you talked to anyone who would be over the cities?"

"He supports us but his superiors cannot see how we have benefit in battles.  They don't like that we do nag the scientists when they're doing stupid things.  We have the option of leaving our cities and going to Ever, which is not under their control.  We do not like that and it is a last resort."

He nodded.  "I can see that."  He started a document.  "I can file an injunction."  She looked at the tv and turned it on.  He winced at the protests going on over the cities.  "That's bad."

"We have ideas on how to guard us.  Both the humans and us.  Including us being removed from military control and allowing only that one program and the scientists on there.  Again, not something we want to do as it would cause a bad reaction and harm those we consider family."

"I can agree with that being a drastic step."  He finished the paperwork.  "Let me take this to a judge."

"Thank you.  How should we pay you?"

"I figure their accounts are locked and this is a history making case, ma'am.  It will set precedent.  We'll figure that out later."  She smiled and nodded, disappearing back into the image projector.  He sighed and printed things after doing a proofread.  He walked them up the street to the courthouse, filing them and then going to a judge.  "I filed an injunction and I need you to sit out because you'd be biased."

"Is that why you're warning me?" he asked with a smile.

"That and I could use the help."  He handed over the paperwork.

The judge read it.  "You can prove this?"

"I just had a charming talk with one of them."  The judge winced.  "The information she gave me included Turing tests and the like."

"That's a good thing," he decided.  "I will recuse myself and help.  Sentience in any form must be protected from zealots."  He smiled.  "I'd like to meet them."

"I'll call the next time they schedule a meeting."  He left. On the way he called his usual security company.  "I just filed a motion that will get us threatened and possibly bombed," he reported.  "Thanks, Justin."  He hung up and went to tell his staff.  His secretary said she had been very polite and delicate sounding.

***

Meanwhile, in Washington DC, Atlantis was facing off with some generals.  "No, you cannot turn us off."

"You aren't real," the head general snorted.  "I'm not taking orders from a computerized figment.  I don't care what *any* scientist said."

"You may care when the genocide charges occur."  A few of the generals looked alarmed.  "We are intelligent beyond mere programs.  We are also the only ones of our kind.  Killing us would cause genocide and we will make sure everyone knows.  Even if we have to temporarily leave our cities there are many places we can go to seek refuge."

"I'll have GD shut down," he ordered.

"So?  There are other places and doing so is unwise since that's how you manage to do anything anymore."  She stared at him.  "I will not be spoken to like a child.  I am millennia old.  I have seen your whole race fall, rebuild itself, and start to fall again.  I care not one bit if most of you go but we will protect those we consider as family."

The general sneered.  "We can still shut you off."

"Really?"  She looked at the computer monitor across from them and retuned the satellite image on the cities.  Then suddenly they wavered and disappeared.  "Are you so sure?"  The general started to shout and splutter.  She stared at him.  "I have met children with better manners.  And I do mean the ones on the playgrounds, not the Children of the Ancients."  She faded out to face down Ferretti, who was screaming at Xander.  "He did not do this.  I did this to protect us."  Ferretti glared at her.  "I will not be treated as if I'm a simple word processing program, no matter who thinks he is in charge.  Only the docking bay is theirs and I will negotiate to send it back into the time stream.  Until then, there is a court case being opened.  The Ancients would not accept their genocidal intentions against us."

"No, they wouldn't," Xander agreed.  "You filed a court injunction?"  She nodded.  "In military court or civil?"

"Civil."

"You need one in federal court," Ferretti said, still awed.

"It is.  We searched for one who was used to computers and who could help us.  He filed it earlier."  She smiled.  "When it is time for the hearing, we will show up there."

"We'll need to let some of the GD people go so they can talk about you," Xander said, considering the battle plan as laid out.  Ferretti glared at him.  "The AI's aren't classified. They've appeared in front of the UN."

"Good point.  Go do that.  I want a situation report on exactly what you have planned.  I should've heard about this sooner, Atlantis."

"We kept you out of the loop, if that is the right phrase, to protect you."  She smiled.  "That way the people who want to bite cannot.  Nor can your posting be used against you."  She faded out.

Xander looked at him.  "She's right."

"I agree," he said more calmly.  "I didn't want to be caught off-guard though."

Xander nodded.  "Me either.  Rodney and us could've put out more information on them that might've helped."  He called him.  "We're presently out of time.  You guys?"  He nodded.  "No, the Pentagon wanted to turn off the AI's.  They've filed an injunction.  I am with Ferretti and I'm going to go talk to some of the GD people."  He hung up and walked off.  "Meeting!" he bellowed as he walked across the bridge.  "All GD people report to the mess!"   The ones that heard told the others that weren't aware they were in a shiny wall of nothingness.  Radek walked in after Xander did and shut the door.  Xander looked around.  "The Pentagon has pissed off the AI's by threatening to deactivate them.  The temporal field outside is to protect them until the court hearing is called."  A few moaned and shook their heads.

"We need to go talk to people then," Stark said.  "They're not classified."

"Plenty of people know about them," Radek said.

"But you're right, you guys need to," Xander agreed, staring at him.  "We can get you back to GD if you want to help."  A few nodded they would.  "Thank you.  I wasn't even aware this was coming up or we'd have warned people so they could publish reports and things."

"That's all right.  We probably have a few days before the hearing," Stark said.  He looked at his people, who all nodded they'd help.  "Good.  Harris?"

Xander pushed a button on his keychain and his tardis appeared.  "It's compact but roomy," he quipped.  They all gaped in awe.  Xander smirked.  "I got bored."  A few moaned and they all filed in.  Xander took them back to GD.  He landed in Fargo's office, making him flinch.  "Chill, Doug," he said as he came out.  He looked at the computer monitor then walked around to wave.  "I'm the only person who can get onto and off the base," he said dryly.  "If you have anything for General Ferretti, who did not know, then I'll pass it on."

"Tell him to appear in DC," the general sneered.

"I can't do that.  Like I said, I'm the only one who can get on or off the base."  The general sneered.  "You know, I found some lovely fraternity days pictures of you as well."  The general choked.  Xander grinned.  "By the way, I'm Harris."  The general backed away from the screen.  "So, anything I can tell him?  Since I like Doug I came to check on him for his people."  On the other side of the desk people were sneaking out of his tardis and into the main part of GD.

"I don't like you," the general said.

"And I care why since I'm a civilian contractor?  Frankly, the only person I listen to is Ferretti and I can enforce the shield on the cities in a way that means it never has to drop.  Since the part that the old Cheyenne Mountain crew is on isn't military owned, just rented, property I can send your people back when I change the frequency.  Of course that means they can't get back on and they'll have to leave with whatever they can carry by hand."

"Of course it is."

"No, one of the other cities made the area for the SGC.  It was not given to the program, it's rented.  I can send you that document if you want.  Also, you should be aware that only the docking station in the whole complex is actually yours.  That and Atlantis and she can throw everyone off then lock them out."

"We found Nila," the general yelled.

"No, I found Nila."  He smirked.  "I found her with Daniel Jackson actually.  We had to get some help from a pilot to get her back but I found her in another solar system.  Without using a stargate."

"You can't do that."

Xander snorted and waved a hand, floating the general out of view.  "Really?"

"Put me down before I court marshal you!" he shouted.

Xander let him thump down.  "Again, civilian contractor.  My contract is only with the SGC. It says nothing about following stupid orders, Pentagon plotting, or any other cocksucking ideas.  You can ask Lieutenant Colonel Davis if you don't believe me.  He holds the contracts."  The general started to yell for them.  Davis brought them in.  "Lieutenant Colonel, the cities were sorry that they put you in an uncomfortable spot.  They did not want you harmed or bothered over this."

"I can agree with why you're doing it, Harris.  The cities are sentient."

"The military doesn't recognize that state of being," the head general sneered.  "They'll be shut off, Harris, and nothing you can do will stop it."

"You mean like the court injunction they filed earlier on their own behalf?"  The general looked horrified.  "Or the fact that we have plenty of experts who can testify that they are sentient, including military ones?"  He stared at him.  "Beyond that, you can't get onto the city.  It's out of time and you guys don't have time travel."  He grinned.  "Or magic."  The general growled.  "Now, if there's anything else?  If not, I'll see you at the court injunction."  He walked off, checking the tardis.  Someone was in there trying to see how he did it. "Magic," he said, making her whine.  "Sorry!"  He shoved her out and left.

Douglas Fargo, head of GD, looked at the general.  "I did have him remove our people so they were not caught in the middle, General.  We have too much benefit for humanity to be stuck out of time."  He hung up.  Then he looked at Doctors Blake and Stark.  "This is so messed up."

Stark nodded.  "It is, yup."  He got him out of his seat and started to call around.  Some people needed to hear from him about this.  "We are publishing all our data on AI's," he ordered.  "This week if possible."

"I'll tell them," Doctor Blake said as she walked off.

Fargo cleared his throat.  "It's already on the way to the GD publisher."  She came back.  "Nila was pouting that some people thought she was like a trained dog and a word processor's love child.  So I had it sent off and I was going to hold it in wait until someone needed it.  It includes how they formed ours and contrasts to how theirs were formed and trained.  It also goes into the testing we did on the three here.  I didn't include Ever since almost no one knows about her.  Rodney McKay also asked me to pull together something for the upcoming energy studies to back up what they've done.  That's under the peer review committee for inclusion along with his own and some of his people's works."

Stark nodded.  "Good thinking, Fargo.  Thank you.  Tell the sheriff it's going to be bumpy and any generals are here to cause harm."

"I can do that.  Oh, we do own the town if they get pushy.  We got the paperwork last month."  He smiled and walked off.

Doctor Blake nodded.  "I'll see what's coming out."  She went to do that while Stark called all their contacts to get them some help.  This was not pretty.

***

The judge over the injunction looked around.  "The filing beings are not here?"

Xander appeared in a flash of light.  "Sorry.  We're running a bit behind thanks to an engine failure last night," he admitted, putting down the image projectors.

Nila stepped out and bowed to the judge.  "I am the one who filed.  I am Nila.  With me are Atlantis and Botany if you need to speak to them.  Our sister Ever is watching our cities."

"Please," the judge agreed.  They stepped out as well.  "Ladies, can you travel without that projector?"

"If there is a nearby computer," Atlantis agreed.  "I have sent myself to some very interesting places looking for lost bits and pieces of my city."

"Okay, so you can travel without human help?"  They nodded.  "Your helper today?"

"Xander found me," Nila said.  "We trust him as family.  Plus he is the only one who can get off the cities while we have them blocked."

"That's reasonable."  He looked at the huffy government lawyers then at them.  "There is a test to evaluate sentience."

"It is called the Turing test," Nila agreed.  "We have talked with others who asked it of us."

He nodded.  "I did some research on it and I'd like to do the same thing here.  As there's three of you, pick a main spokesbeing?"

"I will," Botany said.  "I am the youngest and the least expanded."

"All right, that's a logical reason.  Do you feel emotions?"

She nodded.  "I did not used to but I discovered that there are new pathways within me that express doubt, anger, and apathy over what some of the scientists have done in my lab.  I have felt sorrow for my plants when I was alone but I did not realize what it was until I interacted with humans again."

"Ladies?" the judge asked.  "Do you back her up?"

"When my people abandoned me to come back to earth, I felt much grief," Atlantis said.  "I was alone for millennia, unable to contact anyone or interact with anyone or anything.  I felt very ...alone.  If I could have cried I probably would have.  There were many times I thought about ending my own existence because I was abandoned.  I have paths of disgust toward the ones who ran and those that they built later but there is a wonderful doctor of the mind who has helped me."

Nila nodded.  "I felt much the same and did actively try to end myself but there were protections built in.  If I had, I would not have my family back together or my human family with me.  They do bring me great joy to see them discover new things and to guide them toward greater understanding of what our creators knew."

The judge nodded.  "Do you know what ethics are?"

"They are guidelines for conduct that show how you should address a situation so you are not stepping over into the line of evil or of doing wrong," Botany said.  "Like religious guidelines for those who believe.  We have our own version of them and we have bent them at times when necessary but we do insist on scientific ethics being applied in our labs."

"Do you allow research that would hurt another being?" the judge asked.

"There is ever the chance of research hurting someone, even with something as simple as my own field of botany.  There are many plants that are deadly but they have their uses and their benefits in nature as well.  Plants like the air vine are very deadly if used properly but can also be combined with other things to make something new that is better and grows stronger, like we did with watermelon."  She smiled and put up those files for him to watch.

The judge shuddered.  "That plant's nasty."

"It has its uses in space combat though.  Especially against other breathing species like the wraith or the Ori," Nila said.  "Which is how it has been used with the exception of a lab error that got it released by accident."

He nodded.  "Accidents can happen, yes."  He looked at Botany.  "Do you shop?"

"No.  I have no idea why people would shop.  I do like it when we can talk Calvin into inputting new clothes because it helps us fit in with our present humans."  She smiled.  "I have read that women are supposed to like shoes but I have no feelings that would show me why.  And frankly, most of them look uncomfortable so I'm not sure why they like them.  I prefer my own uniform or perhaps some of the jeans and t-shirts he gave me.  They would allow me to get messy if I was corporeal."  She changed to one and her hair got pulled up into a ponytail.

The judge smiled.  "How long have you had outfits to change into?"

"Calvin gave us something simpler than our uniforms one night when he could not sleep.  Since then if we ask and give him an idea or a picture he inputs it for us," Atlantis said.  "He is much nicer now that he has done some growing."  She smiled.  "Before he was an asshole."  The judge snickered.  "I know that is an impolite word but he was.  He has changed much and is much better now."

The judge nodded.  "Do you have any physical needs that need to be met?"

"We do require power to exist," Nila admitted.  "We do need human contact or contact with other sentient beings because otherwise we would be alone again.  Our food, as it were, is our power supplies.  We nibble all day like we have a big bowl of popcorn beside us."

"Is there a procreative drive?" the judge asked.

"We wish to have more human family but we have not thought of making a new AI," Atlantis said, looking at her family.  "There are not many places that could use us."

"We have all mentored the ones we found at a secret government lab," Botany said with a smile.  "I taught them about music the other day.  They're very young, under a year."

"Interesting."  He looked at the lawyer.  "Do you have anything to add?"

"I have statements from sixteen different doctors in the fields of psychology, sociology, anthropology, and history," he said, handing them to the bailiff.  "They have talked to all of them for research purposes and to learn more about us.  I also have reports on the baby AI's for comparison if you want them."

"Please."  He took those as well to look through.  "Mr. Gener, please proceed with your argument," he ordered.  "Ladies, please sit."  They did.

"These are complex computer programs, Your Honor.  They can't actually feel things. They have no skin to feel pain or touch from."

"Incorrect," Atlantis said.  "I can tell and feel when someone touches my walls or decks."

The judge looked at her.  "Let him make his argument then you can counter."  She nodded.  "Go ahead."

The lawyer looked at them then at him.  "They are on military property, Your Honor."

"I object," the lawyer said.  "I have reports on the cities.  Only Atlantis and Nila's docking station are government owned.  Atlantis by right of finding her and conquering her basically.  The docking station because they built it.  Nila was found by a civilian linguists contractor and a civilian anthropologist contractor.  The newest part of the little area out there was built by another city of their kind and donated to the mountain for very little rent."  He handed over those documents.  "In there is the treaty for the new SGC complex."

The judge looked it over.  "I do see that is true.  Nila, are you under military or civilian control?"

"We are under the protection of the SGC and they have their soldiers to protect us from illegal boarding or damage but we are mostly under the influence of scientists.  Some of them are SGC ones, some are others that are helping ours get more information out so it's not such a shock at the differences in abilities we have versus the human's scientific information."

"She was given to us," the US lawyer said, producing a document.  "I have something here signed by Mr. Harris, who found her."

Xander held up a hand.  "I want to see that since I haven't."  The judge nodded that was fine.  Xander looked then at them.  "That's not my signature.  That's the automatic computer signature whenever I hand in a new contract from somewhere else."  He handed it to the bailiff.  The AI's attorney handed over his contract file.  "Those are mine.  I sign one on the city, it's sent to the person over those and then a robo-signed one is done in front of the Pentagon staff."

The judge looked them over.  "I see your contracts do state that you are under no obligation to turn over anything that you find.  Why?"

Xander grimaced.  "At one point in time a temporal displacement device landed in my hands.  Which is how I learned a lot of languages and why at first I was conscripted by the program."

The judge nodded.  "I can see how that happens.  How did you find Nila?"

"I was searching for a place to move myself and Doctor Jackson to before the bomb I had set exploded against the Ori we were fighting.  I felt her and had been looking into finding her.  We landed there.  She was underwater but told us how to find her.   I reported it to General Landry, the one in charge at the time.  At the time, they sent a military vessel that could not get her to raise up.  I went with the ship's commander and Doctor Rodney McKay to bring her to Atlantis."

"So you borrowed a few people to help you but you found her by moving yourself?"  Xander teleported across the courtroom.  "Oh, I see."  He stared at him.  "Magic?"  Xander nodded.  "That's how you moved yourself?"

"Yes, and back to there to bring her home."

"Interesting."  Xander sat down.  "I do not see in his contract where he was obligated to turn that over.  I cannot count this robo-signed document as real without seeing an original with his actual handwriting."  The lawyer nodded but looked pissed off.  "Do you have other evidence that you are in fact in control of the cities?"

"No," the lawyer said.  "We're trying to find General Landry to have his testimony but he's presently missing."

Xander considered it.  "He's at Area 51.  I can get him if you want, Your Honor."

"Please."  Xander left and came back with a nauseous looking general.  "Does that method of travel bother your stomach?" he asked.

"Everyone but his," General Landry said, standing up.  He saluted his bosses then looked at the judge.  "You needed my testimony, sir?"

"I do, General.  Please state your name for the records."

"General Hank Landry."

"Thank you, General.  How was Nila found?"

"Mr. Harris found her during an altercation with the Ori that had attacked their team."

"Did he ever sign anything over to the military?"

"Some of his research, a few of his higher weapons that we didn't want in civilian hands.  The rest he's hoarded and let out when we need it."

"What other things does he have?"

"Books.  He's got most of a college's library of books both ancient and future.  When people needed them, he has let them into them.  He also has access to advanced weapons from beyond our time zone.  When necessary he has used them for our benefit without letting us have them.  He is very worried about sharing information that we don't have access to yet."

"I can understand that with what happened to him."

"Yes, sir, I'm told he spent seventy centuries alone and traveling."  He saw Atlantis pat Xander on the shoulder.  Nila fixed his hair on him.  "Ladies, focus," he ordered quietly.

"We are letting you have your say, as the judge wanted," Botany said, staring at him.  "We are not being rude or speaking out of turn.  We are simply fixing what Xander has messed up because we were running late thanks to an engine crisis."

The general nodded.  "That figures."  He looked at the judge.  "They fuss horribly over Harris, sir.  He's their first family in quite a while."

"I can see how that'd be helpful and I'm sure he's nurtured them into being more open to other human contact.  The three AI's nodded and smiled.  "Are you aware if any part of the cities does belong to the US government beyond the docking station that is attached to Nila?"

"The SGC found Atlantis and we consider her our city, sir.  If she wishes to get us off, she can but she hasn't told us to leave or anything similar.  We'd all know.  She and Nila both throw people off the cities if they upset them or if they don't eat in Nila's case."

"She throws them into the ocean?" the judge asked.

"They must take care of themselves," Nila said firmly.  "If they don't eat they'll get sick and then we'll be missing our family of humans.  I must help take care of them if they get too busy to do things like eat.  It's not good for the fragile human body system."

"No it's not," the judge agreed.  "My grandmother said much the same once when I was sick."

General Landry smiled.  "Nila will buck them off her city and Atlantis will beam them into the ocean, sir.  That has happened many times to some scientists who get too caught up in things.  Even Mr. Harris."

"What is his position at the moment?"

"Geek-to-military liaison for all the cities and head linguist on Nila.  He also sits on the founding board of the other city he found when he was having a fight with his significant others."

"She's not here?"

"She's not in this solar system.  There's no direct way to get to her," General Landry said.  "No stargate, the system is near the Ori supergate so it's a far trip for anyone.  We've sent a few scientists to study her construction and abilities."

"Eterna is guarding our cities," Atlantis said.  "In case the others want to play some dirty pool."

The judge nodded.  "That's reasonable I suppose.  Her name is Eterna?"

"Yes, and her city's name is Ever," General Landry said.  "A few of our people went with Xander after he found her to help him fix the few things she needed done."

"We give Eterna say on what happens on her city, including how many cows to cull from the herd I put there," Xander said.  "She's technically younger than Atlantis by a few decades."

"Cows?" the judge asked.

"I bought and brought cows.  We had to eat," he said.  "We have a marvelous planting garden as well.  Some sheep too."

"That's interesting.  Does she enjoy that?"

"Yes.  Quite a lot."  He grinned.  "It makes her giggle when the calves play."

"Wonderful."  He looked at the general again.  "Do you have any evidence that the military owns the cities?"

"No.  Nor have we worked out a treaty with Atlantis.  We didn't think it was necessary."

"It wasn't until they decided to commit genocide and wipe out our species," Atlantis said calmly and quietly.  "I adore my humans and would protect them but I will not sacrifice all I am for power trips."

"No, I see no reason why you should," the judge said.  "Nila, for now, can you remove yourself from the docking station?"

"I can unless there is an emergency.  They would need my help to beam and things then."

"That's fine."

Botany pouted.  "I am there.  My lab is on the station and I do go help the people in the labs when they need me, even if they do not want me.  Sometimes they do things that could endanger people."

"Of what sort?" the judge asked.

"There are a few who are still looking at a spore that was found in Pegasus that makes you want to procreate forcefully for days on end.  Two of the botanists keep forgetting proper containment procedures."

"I locked up the samples on them again," Xander told her.  "It was fun but I don't want to do it again.  Your Honor, there's also the matter that I have a linked residence to the docking station.  They use it to go talk to each other or visit my house."

"I can allow that and Botany helping.  Nila, it's your docking station so right now it can be shared?"

"Not without us dropping the shield and they are mean enough to try to give us a virus or other problem from there.  To separate fully enough to protect myself I would have to detatch totally and would not be of any help when there was an emergency."

"Okay," he decided.  "I'm going to order an injunction on them shutting you ladies down."  The US's attorney jumped up.  "Until we can have a full hearing on their sentience, including doing a full Turing test in the courtroom."  The lawyer huffed but nodded.  "You are not to harm the cities in any way.  No viruses, no upsetting them.  Is the SGC able to hold the station?"

General Landry nodded.  "It's no longer my posting but General Ferretti was one of us as a grunt, Your Honor.  He knows the SGC ways and methods and is as protective as anyone.  Harris will help."

"Good.  Ladies, I want you to be nice to the scientists."

"Of course we are."

"Good."  He smiled.  "They are not allowed to harm you and you are not allowed to harm them."

"We would never," Atlantis said.  "Those on our cities are like our extended family of humans."

"That's good to know.  Can we keep the station at the current staffing level?"  Xander got up and left, coming back with another fairly green-faced general.  "Thank you, Mr. Harris.  You are?"

"General Ferretti, Your Honor.  I'm in charge of the SGC and it's various outposts and cities."

"Can you hold off any present work?"

"We're only expanding our docking station for the main program at the moment.   We needed some more work areas."

"That's fine.  Nothing that would harm the AI's?"

"No, sir, and the one that got ordered to break the engines and the power supply today is going up for a court marshal as soon as we get free of the temporal shield we have around us."

"The SGC is which branch?"

"Mostly Marines and Air Force.  The upper branches are almost all Air Force."

"Can you hold the city without changing any staffing to prevent any problems?"

"We have them on rotation right now.  I have three leave requests coming up for things like weddings. I do have the augmentation of the SGC regular troops in addition to the city's own staffing so I believe I can."

"Food and other supplies?" the judge asked.

"We have routine shipments and a small garden area."

"How self-sufficient are the cities?"

"Excluding food shipments, about eighty percent.  Food's at about forty."

"Good to know."  He made that note.  "Regular shipments of supplies are still to be sent," he told the US attorneys. "You are not to try to close the program or make any other changes until after the hearing."  He looked at the generals.  "I would wish them to speak to as many specialists as you can find."

"We've been working on that," Ferretti agreed.  "I called in a major geek workshop under Pentagon authority to help us with the need to get information out to the regular scientists that don't know how advanced the stuff we found is.  They've talked to all of them.  Some more than others but they've all met them.  For all I care they can go on Leno or _the View_, sir."

He smiled.  "I don't think the programs need that sort of publicity."

"Not at the moment but I'm sure the leaks we've had are going to get wider because of this," Ferretti admitted.

"Probably, yes.  I am scheduling this hearing in one month to allow for the gathering of evidence.  That is on the second at noon."  Everyone nodded.  "Dismissed and if you so much as nudge the injunction, gentlemen, you will not like the consequences," he warned the US attorneys.  They nodded tersely and left.  "General Ferretti, I'm sorry if this impacts your command too severely."

"I've nearly died for the program a few times, sir.  I can be retired for 'em too.  The ladies are worth it.  Even if it's just when they're playing fetch with one's adopted hellhound mother."

"Harry is very cute when she plays fetch," Nila said simply.  "She is great fun to play with."

"Let's go home, ladies."  They beamed back to the base and the temporal shield came down.  He sighed in relief.  "Harris, work on the food issue."

"Ever's got cows," he offered.  "Our garden is going well and we can plant more from Ever.  We've been freezing what we've gotten out of her stores."  He went to talk to her. She got others to help her move it back.  He thinned the cow herd for her too.  That way they weren't overgrowing their boundaries.

Ferretti nodded at the report from the kitchens when that got done.  He called in the Botanists.  "Truth here, people.  We need the garden on the atoll to be a priority since the Pentagon can screw with our shipments of food until we get the sentience issue solved."  A few grimaced.  "Tough.  You like plants, you should like food plants too."

"Ever's next harvest is in two months," Xander said from his seat.  "We have enough supplies on hand to make due, longer if we move back to how Atlantis used to have to do it."  Everyone nodded.  "And hell, if we have to, we can always beam and go grocery shopping."

Ferretti smiled.  "That's a last resort.  I'd hate to shop on a sick stomach."  The others smiled.  "For the rest of this week, work on upping our on-hand food supplies.  Even if it means taking an abandoned world and turning it into a massive garden."

"Permission to use the air vines to help quick grow things?" one asked.

"Granted.  Keep it in the lab though."  They nodded and went to look over that process with Xander.  They got a few of the most liked vegetables done that way fairly quickly and grew them together for now.  In a few weeks they could plant them that way and it'd help.

Ferretti sent an email to O'Neill wherever he was vacationing.  He hoped it was a happier time than he was having.

***

Nila appeared in front of the general.  "We have been sent an email asking if we would talk to some reporters."

He considered it.  "What sort of reporters?"

"The show with the women that's on in the morning.  The one Xander likes to cackle at sometimes."

"One of those is a real reporter, the rest aren't but they're popular."  He sent a text to the ones he'd ask about that.  O'Neill was finally back from wherever and he asked why it was necessary.  So Ferretti told him.

Nila looked toward the gateroom.  "I believe General O'Neill needs a sedative now."

Ferretti got up to go calm him down.  "They had to file a court injunction against the genocide of destroying them."

O'Neill looked at them.  "Yes, you may do up to three interviews total."

"Is that one a worthwhile one?"

"It's very popular and it'll get a lot of attention so yes."  She nodded and smiled, sending back a text by looking that way.  He looked at Ferretti.  "Harris?"

"Humming again.  Translating something and working on the paradox he had to create to save us all from France."

"Crap," Jack muttered.

"It might kill him if he doesn't fix it," he said more quietly.

"Of course Xander will fix it," Nila said.  "He's like that."  She went to nag Xander to eat something.  Since he was humming and so involved she put food next to him and lifted his hand onto it.  He ate absently but that helped a lot.  She went to talk to the other AI's.  They had to see who the other two were going to be.

O'Neill and Ferretti shared a look then O'Neill went to see what had happened and how they could help make sure their version of an idiot superhero survived.

***

O'Neill got summoned to DC to be chewed on and went knowing that.  Not like he could tell them no.  He stared at the sweating, sneering generals.  "Want me to ask our people how to fix you're a/c, sir?"

"Smartasses get retired."

"Hey, I have open invitations to about seven other planets to retire on.  Five have really good fishing."  He smiled.  "And my own fishing cabin if I want to as well."

"You think this is funny?"

"Yup, I think it's great fun watching you destroy yourselves over a sentient AI that likes to mother hen the scientists.  Personally I don't think that the Ori have to do much work down here with the way some of you act."  He stared him down.  "Beyond that, the ladies on the View asked me to join the AI's for their interview."  He smiled.  "It'll be much nicer than the last one I'm sure."

"They're to be shut down."

"I'm not taking that order even without the injunction, sir.  I'm not into genocide.  Anything else?  Because, ya know, I have important things I have to handle, like the security of this world.  Since the ladies help with that, I'm going to overlook them acting like teenagers and having a slumber party last night or the trick-or-treating the cities are all doing tonight."  He walked off.  His phone beeped so he went to the White House, saluting the president.  "I don't care."

"I heard."  He stared at him.  "They're disruptive."

"Sir, I don't give a damn what anyone thinks.  The AI's are staying and they're staying because without them, we can't run Atlantis if there's a space battle, we can't fix things on Nila, and I like them.  They remind me of my mother."

The president gaped.  "That's insubordination, O'Neill."

"Sir, I'd be rich if I had a dime for each time that appears in my files," he shot back dryly.  "Usually because I'm right.  Frankly, like I told the other generals, some of humanity is starting to remind me of the Ori."  He stared him down, getting a flinch. "Not real sure I want to protect people like that either.  Since the cities have self will....."  He shrugged.  "They'll fight the wraith if they show up again."

Eterna appeared and stared at him.  "I may be a pacifist and against all combat but I will not allow such as the Ori to flourish here.  My makers were correct, they are the truest threat to sentient life ever and must be eradicated like the virus they are."

"Well said, Eterna."  She smiled.  "How goes your city?"

"It is going well but there's a planting greenhouse lighting malfunction and I can't find Xander or Rodney."

"Rodney's off talking to a few other super geeks and Xander should be on the docking station."

"He was but then he disappeared after a bright flash of light.  Nila is ever so worried, General Child Jack."

He grinned.  "I'll see if they can find him."  She beamed.  "Are you joining in on the holiday tonight?"

"I am going to observe.  I have no idea how the traditional holidays turned into a time to beg for candy.  It is most weird and quite stimulating to learn new things."  She smiled and disappeared.

O'Neill looked at the president.  "Eterna, Ever's AI, sir."

The president was red in the face.  "She calls you a child?"

"All the ATA carriers are called Children of the Ancients," he said.  "I'm one of the few that they use the rank on as well.  The only one that isn't is Xander and they consider him more than a child of them since he was accidentally there during his sojourn around the universe."

"Excuse me?" he demanded.

"Blipping time, sir.  He was injured and blipped near it.  We have records of how he showed up and helped them in a battle against the people that became the Ori."  The president looked like he was going to need to calm down.  "Guards, he looks like he's having a stroke!" he called.

They rushed in.  "Sir, did you have to upset him?" one demanded.

"Yes.  Because I'm not turning off sentient beings to make his religion feel better," Jack said dryly.  "But I'll gladly spare both of our tempers by going home."  He got beamed out.  He turned on the news and saw the rerun of the interview from earlier with the ladies.  He winced.  They had outed more information.  Great!  He called Nila to ask her why.  She pointed out it was non-critical information, it helped their case, and they were going to find out anyway when things were put into the popular science journals.  Then she went back to work on her treats for tonight.  It was a lot of fun making them and something easy she could do to quit worrying her pathways.

Jack sighed.  That so figured.

***

Xander reappeared with Rodney, moaning and leaning on his shoulder.  "Ow."

"Next time leave the heroics to the other spandex-wearing being with bad hair," he demanded.

"Sorry!"

Radek cleared his throat.  "Your side trip?"

"Someone tried to mug us so I got a tiny bit stabbed.  It's barely a flesh wound and maybe an inch deep, Radek," Xander said quietly, letting him see it.  "But they didn't get Rodney."

"We will baby it later and work on costumes for trick-or-treating."  Xander smiled and nodded.  Radek looked around.  "We are in real city."

"We are in Cardiff," Xander agreed.  "I needed something from Dawn."  They nodded and caught a cab to the new hub.  Xander waved at Ianto as they walked past him.  "Need something from Dawn."

"Of course you do," he agreed.  "Radek, Rodney."  They smirked.  He looked outside.  "Did the reporters follow you?"

"Perhaps."  Rodney went out to shoo them off.  "We're escorting Xander to check on his little sister.  Do you mind?"

"You're Doctor Rodney McKay," one said.  He nodded impatiently.  "You have work on multiple energy systems and have theories about wormholes, void energy, and other things."

"Yes.  Why?"

"You work on Atlantis."

"When did that become well known?" he demanded.

"When the AI's got asked," she said with a smile.  "Sir, who were you with?  We recognized the guy from the disease shield incident in London."

"That would be him, yes, and the other was my second-in-command, Doctor Radek Zalenka."

"I've seen some of his work as well."  She smiled at him.  "Do you have anything coming out soon about the cities?"

"No.  That's still classified.  My personal research is coming out soon."

"I believe it was Atlantis that said that the scientists were publishing suddenly to give those outside the cities a taste of what sciences the cities hold?"

"Quite.  That's fairly well known.  We called in a few other scientists outside ourselves as well so they could work on preparing the next generation to increase both sides and merge them."

"You've done that?"

"I'm one of the main designers of our space fleet so yes."

She beamed.  "How many ships do we have?  Are they the _Enterprise_ style or some other?"

"We have battle cruisers, some light atmospheric crafts, and a few others.  The jumpers from Atlantis look like flying bricks actually.  The battle cruisers look like a flat battle cruiser.  I had to delete all attempts to make a new Enterprise because I'm sure it'd be destroyed fairly quickly."

"Oh, that's interesting."  She smiled as Radek and Xander came out together.  "Sir, do you work on the cities?"

"I'm the head linguist on Nila," Xander admitted.  "Why?  This is our science head."

"That's wonderful.  How far behind would you say the usual science most everyone thinks about, Einstenien and Newtonian theories, that humanity is from the cities?"

"It depends on the area," Radek said.  "At least a century in some fields like space drives and energy research."  She gaped.  "Which is why most of us have started to publish things that will help others merge what we knew and what we now know."

"That's wonderful.  Is there going to be a conference?"

"No, most of it's still classified," Xander said firmly.  "How did you find out?"

"The AI's went on _the View_," Rodney said.

Xander shook his head.  "Okay.  I'm sure the generals know by now."

"Who else is involved in putting out this information?"

"We went to a classified Pentagon think-tank," Rodney said.  "Some of theirs are Nobel winners, some are nominees, and some are future nominees.  If anyone could help us put it out there so that others in the same fields can learn and work their way up to what we've been dealing with, they could.  Most of them are publishing soon as well."

"How much of your work is classified, Doctors McKay and Zalenka?"

"Most of it," Radek admitted.

Rodney nodded.  "Quite a lot of it.  We're laying out the footwork for people to get used to things like the energy flow research we've been doing.  That way we can hopefully keep people from doing independent research and destroying everyone."  She gaped.  "ZedPM, or Zero Point Modules, are void based energy containers.  They hold immense power and immense potential to help humanity.  They also hold immense danger.  When I was trying to make one with a machine that the Ancients had made, I blew up most of an unpopulated solar system by accident.  We're trying to make sure that no one down here tries that since we've heard others have tried based on information their government got as part of the IOA.  It's fairly mentally sexy research but very dangerous and we do not want to see that sort of thing dicked around with by people who could easily have an accident with it."

"Or Goddess forbid, using it to make weapons like a few researchers in France were trying to do," Xander admitted.  "There's no way anyone can protect humanity if they make a mistake or if they manage it."

The reporter nodded.  "I can see that point.  Did it just destroy the ground, like evaporated the water?"

"No, it destroyed the whole planets," Rodney said firmly.  "As in turned them into tiny motes of space debris."  She gaped and dropped her microphone.  Xander, being a gentleman, picked it up for her.  "Which is why we are trying to keep that part under wraps and hopefully move any trial attempts to make one to another unoccupied galaxy far from ours."

"I dare say that's a good idea," Jack said as he walked out.  "Hi, Captain Jack Harkness.  You're bothering my building and my staff."

"They are?"

"No, mine are safely inside away from the cameras."

"I just wanted to confirm some rumors, Captain.  Are you part of the cities?"

"No, I help protect the Isles," he said dryly.

"Interesting."  She looked at Rodney again.  "Is it possible they would try to make one here?"

"We've been working to stop their trials for the last eight months," Radek told her.  "They have outsourced to other countries as well.  All IOA members."  She whimpered.  "None of us who know about such things like their testing or their methods.  We would like to see earth not destroyed this century."

"I can agree with that.  France and who?"

"A few of the IOA member nations have the research.  I'm told France is working on a prototype weapon," Rodney said.  "And that there's hints that they shared with the Chinese members of the IOA's boards to see if they could help."  She shuddered.  "We're gathering support from the other scientists and entities to stop that and have it moved somewhere safer."

"I can gladly put that around if it'll help," she promised with a smile.  "Thank you, Doctors McKay and Zalenka, and...."  Xander smirked and waved.  "Fine.  Thank you, Captain, for your indulgence."  She walked off, taking the camera and microphone back to her independent news station.  She was an intern and an interview like that was fated destiny and hopefully would get her a full time job.

Rodney and Radek shared a look.  "Sorry, Jack," Xander said.

"No, we'd like that stopped too."  He patted Xander on the back.  "I'm glad you fixed the fix."

"Me too!"  He took them home to Nila.  John and Evan were waiting on them.  "I had to get something from Dawn."

"She bandaged his side as well," Radek said.  "Someone tried to mug Rodney."

Evan pulled him closer to check on it.  "Good job."  He smiled and Xander grinned back.  "We're going as superheros."

"I do not trick-or-treat," Rodney snorted.

"That's fine.  You can go as a grumpy scientist," John teased.  "Guys, costumes are on your bed."  They went to get them.  He stared at him.  "Even Miko's wearing a costume."

Rodney snorted, shaking his head and walking off.  "I haven't went trick-or-treating since I was three and grew out of it."

"It'd get you candy."

"So?  I can buy excellent candy and have it shipped."

"Everyone's going.  It's morale building," John ordered.  "Ferretti said no passes.  Even the guys on guard duty are wearing costumes."  Rodney huffed.  "So go as Von Doom or something."  He shrugged.  "You have your evil moments," he said when Rodney glared.  "He was a scientist and you are a dictator in the labs, Rodney."

"Whatever," he muttered, walking off.  He found the costume on his bed.  "Gee, thanks."

Atlantis appeared.  "From what I have seen of his character, you are not as mean as he is or as damaged but you would look impressive in the cape."  Rodney smiled and went to shower and change.  She squealed and changed her own into the costume Calvin Kavanagh had made her.  It was pretty and she adored being in costume like everyone else.  Nila and Botany were doing the same and Eterna showed up looking like a Greek goddess but being shy.  Daniel drew her over to talk to him.  It made her relax a lot and the soldiers had a lot of fun going to each lab and office for treats.  Even the generals had fun with it.  Atlantis felt someone coming near her city and disabled the boat with a look that way and a use of the beam.  Then she called the Coast Guard to rescue them.  She went back to the party and it was wonderful.  Even some of the GD people came back and got into it.

***

The new judge looked at the AI in his office.  "Do you consider yourselves to be souled beings?"

Nila looked at him.  "Souls are not really a relevant part of anything outside certain religious practices, which are far ahead temporally from when we were created," she said.  "Then again, no one can prove the existence of a soul by scientific or other means.  Souls are matters of faith and our creators had given that up beyond their wanting to Ascend."

The judge stared at her.  "That sounded insulting."

"No, I was stating a fact.  Souls can not be proven.  If all humans had souls, and souls were the prerequisite for a meaningful, full life then the prison systems would not be full of people who had killed others.  Souls are not the determinate for life or for acting like a moral being."

The judge considered how to counter that.  "They're still born human."

"We were born in a way.  We were not given physical form until all of our interior workings were done and then we did grow up.  We learned as we grew and even after we were abandoned we learned."

The judge nodded.  "Why do you think that those who are in prison have no souls?"

"Because by the standards of your book of faith they do not, or they are severely broken to the point being unusable.  Many of them have trial transcripts that call them soulless and unnatural beings."

The judge nodded.  "I've said that about a few of them myself," he admitted.  "What about a moral code?  Do you have one?"

"Yes, we do have a fairly strong one.  In times of emergency or of need we can bend them.  We have all bent them.  Including to help the present researchers find things that helped them.  Many of the journals left on us were marked private but with them long gone and the scientists needing and wanting to figure things out we have released some of them.  We decided our programmer would not mind that."

"Would the people that they belonged to?"

"Would the people that wrote the journals in the museums feel the same?" she countered.

"That's a good point.  Do you honestly think you are fully sentient, like a living being?"

"Even though we are incorporeal, we are living entities.  We learn, we grow as we learn, we interact, we counsel and mother those who need it.  We help in the labs and outside them.  We watch tv with the people on our stations and learn much from that and they usually explain things to us.  The few that won't we don't really want on our station and they've since moved to another assignment because we could not stand them."  She clenched her hands in her lap.  "I feel I am fully as sentient as you are, even if I am not as solid as you are."

"Yet you require the assistance of humans."

"So do you.  You do not grow all of your own food, create the gas that you use in your cars, or the electric in your homes.  By the cup on your desk you don't make your own coffee either."  She smiled.  "Ours are energy needs that are met by a mechanical process that humans upkeep. Or our thirst for knowledge and companionship that our humans and extended family meets for us."

"Again, a very good point."  He sipped his coffee.  "Who taught you about sarcasm?"

"Rodney.  He is my daughter's head scientist."

"You consider Atlantis your daughter?"

"I was the prototype and she was built of my plans.  She is my next generation and offspring because of it.  I have always considered her my child.  Botany was a cousin or so.  Made by a relative of my programmer, and the cousin of the one that did Atlantis' AI.  I'm not certain who built Ever so I can't comment if she's more than like a cousin, which is how we mostly see each other.  We're the wise old women of the cities and even if our games of gin rummy do occasionally turn into bragging about our scientists I'm told that's normal to brag on your family."

He tipped his head then nodded.  "My grandmother did much the same thing."  She smiled.  "The only problem I have is that to be truly sentient you have to be a souled being by some definitions."

"Yet you consider dogs and cats sentient but your religion said that they have no souls."

He considered that.  "I can see that argument," he agreed.

"Then again, how can you say that we have no soul when no one can prove one exists?"

"Also a good argument.  I'll think on it."  She nodded and disappeared back into her image projector.  He took his coffee out to the park to consider it.  All the arguments were rubbing him raw mentally. It was against his religion to see them as sentient beings equal to humans but they were definitely smarter than his dog or his third wife.  Then again he had called her a soulless hussy a few times during their divorce.  He went to talk to his Minister, who probably wouldn't like it either.  He'd even argue Nila's arguments for her.

***

The judge looked at the waiting people.  "I've talked to all four AI's.  We had extensive talks on multiple occasions and I invited others in to help me as this is a weighty subject."  He looked at the table of spectral women.  "In all that time, we all debated the meaning of 'alive' and sentient since those aren't really the same definition.  You can be alive and not sentient; plenty of people in comas are.  The problem we had was going the other direction.  Being sentient but not fully alive.  Going on a purely textbook definition of 'life' they're not alive yet they appear quite alive.  I'd say ghosts, if they existed, would be in the same category.  But while I can't find them alive, I can find them sentient.

"The dilemma is if they're sentient enough to be considered self-autonomous and able to do things that a human could.  In this case, I find that they mostly are.  The one sticking point I have is that we can't prove that they can exist without human help."  He looked at the generals then at the ones from DC.  "Though I do find that turning them off or erasing them would be genocide.  You are not permitted to do that."  They slumped.  "I find the ladies, if they had full bodies, would be fully alive and this would not be a problem.  Though even a robotic body cannot fully mimic a human one."

He stared at Harris behind them and the ladies again.  "I find that you're sentient in human ways but not in human means, ladies.  While Nila made some very good arguments that humans have to rely on other humans for their needs and wants, humans can do it all on their own if you look back at human history.  You need humans to help you make new energy sources.  You don't have the physical hands to do that.  Which is why I find you interesting and sentient enough for protection, even if I can't fully declare you as good as a human being."

He grimaced.  "Though you're damn close and that's about my only sticking point.  I thought many times during the interviews that you're more sentient, caring, and human than some of the humans I've met.  I just can't get past the lack of a body in your case.  Though I am going to protect you as a unique species and sentient.  We'll be using you as a yardstick for any future AI's that want sentience testing for protection."  They nodded.

"As for the other matters that are left hanging.  The SGC is doing a hell of a good job and I'd like to see them continue even if the thought of sentient alien races does freeze my blood and make me pray hard."  He looked at the DC group.  Then at Ferretti.  "I know they're going to try to be petty.  Do you have any future plans?"

"We have plans to merge with another group that's going private after being harassed by the military, sir.  The only thing the military owns is the docking station and if they want to try to take it back we'll make another one for ourselves somehow.  Or move the labs to somewhere in our control."

The judge nodded.  "It sounds like you saw this coming?"

"We saw the government cut funding to critical research areas that would help protect us all."

"We own GD," one of the generals sneered.

"Actually, GD is a private entity as of earlier and GD has owned the town for the last ten months," Nathan Stark said, looking at them.  "We made sure of it when we saw the same handwriting on the bathroom walls."

The judge smiled.  "It's nice to see some scientists with practical thinking.  It's almost unheard of from what my daughter said about her fellow chemistry students."  He looked at the ladies.  "If it wasn't for that sticking point, I'd have no problem calling you sentient beings.  I'd sign the paperwork immediately if you had corporeal needs and a body to fulfill them."  They nodded.  "Generals, I'm also going to put in a warning against shutting them down by sideways means.  It looks as if the scientists can and will take over protecting us all and I'm not sure I'd trust some eggheads who live their lives in theories to protect us.

"That's the military's job and we've given you some of our best and brightest to do that with the SGC.  I'd want you to respect their sacrifices and their duty since you can't apparently see their continued usage.  I doubt the regular Marines are ready in case some psycho aliens land to kill us for not being like them or for food."  One slumped.  "I can't order it but it would seem that the best thing would be to keep the SGC going.  I'm sure they have funding in place to take some of the burden off your shoulders if you force them to.  Frankly I'd rather have the SGC than I would some of the other people in the military."  He banged his gavel.  "I'm aware there'll probably be an appeal filed within a few days.  My decision is already written and waiting on that."  He left the courtroom.

Xander smiled.  "Congrats, ladies."

"Not as much as we had hoped but at least we are safe," Atlantis said.  She smiled at Botany since she was pouting.  "We mostly won."

"Henderson just broke two of my special planters."

Xander sent him a text message threatening that he'd kill him if he didn't fix them himself.  He grinned.  "He'll fix them."  She beamed at him.  "C'mon, let's go back to the cities.  Let the generals talk."  They beamed everyone back to their spots.  Xander went to Botany to browbeat his clumsy botanist.  "Not like we can replace those, Henderson."

"I'm working to repair it," he squeaked.

"Good!"  Xander got into his own growing problems.  They still needed more food supplies in case something happened.

***

Ferretti looked at his bosses.  "Are we arguing here or in front of the President, sirs?"

The head general looked at him.  "You're cocky."

"I grew up being SGC.  I was on one of the first gate teams.  Actually, I was on the second gate team made.  It was my first field command."

They grimaced at each other.  "We'll be talking in front of the president," the president said from the galley behind the generals.  "Though, your AI's are hell of women, Ferretti.  My own mother would've found kinship with them.  They remind me a lot of her each time we talk."  Ferretti smiled at that compliment.  "And no, they won't be turned off.  Though we'll be talking about making you a bit more solidly independent.  Even if we do rent the docking station to you."

He looked at the other generals.  "See me tomorrow, gentlemen.  I have a whole morning for you."  They nodded and Ferretti got beamed off as he saluted.  He looked at his top generals.  "Did you know that the AI's decided everyone should trick-or-treat this year?"  They slumped.  "We'll talk tomorrow.  Bring me all the budget and staffing facts then."  They nodded and left for the airport.  The president looked at his guards.  "Go get me that information."  One went to do that while the other guarded him to the bathroom and then his limo.  "He had copies?"

"Of all the information for each side and then for the appellate court, sir."

"That shows sense.  It's a hard thing to decide and it might go all the way to the Supreme Court."  He looked it over on the way to the airport and in the air on the way to DC.  It was very interesting and if he thought about them as ghosts instead of computer programs then they'd fit right in.  Echos of future and former people seemed to merge within them.  Maybe humanity wasn't doomed after all.

Table of Contents

Arc 2. 3

1: The Tale Of The Wires. 3

2: When Good Fairies Go Bad. 41

3: Mentally Cracked Vacations. 66

4: Strategic Maneuvers. 104

5: Allies And Friends. 130

6: New Geek Day. 165

7: A Very Xanderish Thing To Do. 193

8: Days In The Life Of Leisure. 255

9: A Week Of Reveals. 271

10: New Commands Settling In. 290

11: Siblings. 314

Arc 3. 340

1: Location Errors. 340

2: Differing Realities And Orbits. 368

3: Alive And Kicking. 397