Contents

Together Again.

Cruisin'.

Aftermath of Secrets

Debut!

Sweet Endings.

Undercover.

A True Thieves' Paradise.

Uh-Huh.  That's Not My Sort of Xander.

Together Again.

NC-17, m/m/m, m/f

Lupin smiled as Xander walked in with his princess on his arm.  He bowed to their host, letting him past with a hissed word at Melissa about her hair.  His daughter snuck in after her with Lotus, and he noticed Lotus had changed clothes and his daughter's hair was out of place, plus she had decided to wear gloves.  He raised an eyebrow and smoothed out his, prompting them to do their own.  As soon a he could, he made his way casually over to her.  "What happened?"

"Lotus got paint on her.  We did the Commissioner's house for him for sending such a moron after us."  She grinned up at him.  "Don't worry, daddy, he's just fine."  She kissed him on the cheek, then blotted her lipstick.  "Give us a moment."  They headed for the bathroom to make sure they were fine, then came back.  Xander was introducing Melissa to some of the top people and they were all watching for him an announcement.  "Hmm, she does look good in that dress."

"I thought that one was yours," Jigen said from behind them.

"It is, but it fits her and Melissa got some paint on her as well.  Mom scared us while we were redecorating."   She sipped the champagne she had gotten off a waiter.  "Ooh, he's going to make a speech."

Xander stepped up on a chair and grinned at his people.  "Hi, guys."

"Hi, Lavelle."

"Gee, this is just like a convention, only without the costumes."  That got some laughs.  "So, you all know why we're here.  I'm stepping back into the shadows a bit so Melissa can start to take over.  Sweetheart?"  She pulled over another chair and was helped up onto it by Hal, a big, Norwegian who reminded you a lot of Vikings and who ran the thieve's maze.  "This is my precious firstborn, Melissa Jigen.  Just so you all know, I have warped her to be a lot like me.  She does the electronics, the planning, and is cute as well."

"Mother, I'm beautiful, not cute," she said, smirking at him.

"Well, yes, you are, but I'm not supposed to say that about my own kids."

"Fine."  She grinned at the crowd.  "Quite a few of you already know me from the bulletin board and from helping Mom work.  Some of you don't.  If you don't, I'm Melissa.  I'm Second to Lupin the Fourth, who I dragged along so I'd have someone my own age here," she admitted with a grin for her crew.  She smiled at the rest of them again.  "I look forward to learning from all of you about your specific areas and to..."  She looked up as the door slammed open.  "Look, it's Paulo.  Hi, Paulo."

"Melissa.  Sorry I'm late but there's an idiot who painted 'I love sheep' on himself a few times, taped stuffed sheep to himself, then tied himself to a pole on the main bridge.  It's backing up traffic horribly."

"Sorry to hear that," Melissa said with a smile for him.  "For those of you who don't know, Paulo runs the house in Madrid.  He's known me now for a few years."  He nodded, smiling and holding out a hand.  "Thank you, dear.  Please, people, let's cut the stuffiness and get down to have some fun.  It's not often you get all of us in one room," she offered as she stepped down.  "Hi."

"Good job on the idiot.  Who was he?"

"Suoh something or other.  He's the one Interpol thought would get us.  Was he crying?"

"Very muchly."  He smiled at the band, who started up, and led her out to dance with her.  He was excellent, she was stunning.  "I like that dress, but isn't it Arsene's?"

"Yeah, but I got paint on myself while we were redoing the Commissioner's house.  Did it get it all off?"

"You've got a few flecks on your shoulders," he admitted, picking them off for her.  "There, perfect again.  Though your hairpin does need to go back in."  She reached up to do that, smiling up at him.  "There, the perfect Goddess your mother knew you'd be."  The band struck up a tango and he winked at her.  "Do you remember your teachings?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, but she was smiling a bit.  "Sure, why not.  I'm only young once, unless Janus gets to me too."  That got a snort from her crew so she grinned at them as he started off, making her smile at him and move with him.  He was her dance teacher after all.

Jigen watched and sighed.  His baby was doing the Tango with a dark and dangerous crook from Spain.  Lupin nudged him so he took the glass of champagne.  "I thought I had a few more years for this," he sighed.

"You do. He's the one who taught us," Lotus said with a smirk. "Next song's mine, Uncle Jigen."

"Sure, Lotus.  You look wonderful in that outfit.  Especially since you found that shawl so your dad could close his mouth again."  She giggled and took him out then and there, dancing with him.  "The sheep thing yours?"

"Then we went to fix the commissioner's house since he sent such an idiot to us.  Did you know that there's a loophole in the graffiti laws?  If you make it artistic, it's not considered graffiti.  So now he's got polka dots and stripes."  He snickered.  "He deserved it.  Trying to remove that guy from Interpol by making him chase us and fail."

"Remember, you'll want someone like Pops," he warned.  "Someone with some faults and with some ways to get around."

"Arsene's picked who she wants.  She's waiting for him to notice the message on the back of his house.  Suharto Majakalin."  He whistled.  "He is very good, but he's nearsighted in the extreme.  Very methodical.  Very good, just like Gramps, but very easy to distract and to play with."

"Did she paint that somewhere?"

"On his windshield."

"Good."  He dipped her, making her giggle and come back up without the shawl.  She snatched it and grinned at him.  "Sorry, thought it'd been pinned on."

"No, not really.  Mom couldn't find a way."  She smiled and continued to dance with him, until her Uncle Lupin took her.  "Hi, Uncle Lupin.  Thank you, Uncle Jigen."

"You're welcome, Lotus."  He left to find Arsene, who was chatting with Melissa as they danced together.  "That's not right and you know it, brats.  Let Melissa meet the others."  He took Arsene and danced her off.  "Brat," he said fondly.

"Ehh, we were talking about the guy on the bridge.  If he wasn't crying he might not quit."

"No, he will, I'm sure of it," Jigen promised, patting her on the back.  "How many do you think it'll take?"

"Three or four more.  Enough to get a good rep going so that he asks."  She smirked up at him.  "Next time, I'm going to have him in upside down frog position over the river, hands around himself as a boat goes past.  Painted green."

"Good job, Ar."  He smirked down at her.  "You've got a spot of paint in your hairline."  She reached up to rub it off.  "That's got it.  What's with the gloves?"

"Paint."

"Ah."  He surrendered her to Xander, going to find someone else to dance with.  His daughter got free at the next dance and grabbed him for a round, grinning up at him.  "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, daddy."  She gave him a squeeze.  "I'm happy."

"Hopefully not with Paulo?"

"No, daddy, he was our dance instructor and he's got a girlfriend."  He smiled at that.  She pinched him.  "Don't worry, daddy, I will introduce you to any real possibilities like I did Brad.  Speaking of, graduation's in a few days.  I promised him I'd go."

"Fine," he agreed.  "Wyatt ran back to your aunt's side after giving information to Dawn."

"Ehh, we knew about that.  Then her computer got a mysterious virus call frogs."  She smiled.  "Ar is still quite mad at her for hurting Mom in the past."

"Fine."  He smiled as her hair came down, letting her pick up the broken pins.  "Didn't hold up?"

"They're very thin, daddy."  She bowed and excused herself to go fix her hair again.  Now it draped over her shoulders in a gentle curl because she had put it up wet.  She came back with it straightened out and smoothed down, then found a new dance partner among her mother's empire.

Jigen joined Lupin by the bar, smirking at him.  "Damn they're grown up."

"They are," Lupin agreed.  "Xander's being a hyperactive puppy again.  Where's Marcus?"

"Probably in the back room.  I haven't seen him yet.  Either that or he's stuck in traffic."

"Probably," Lupin agreed.  He walked out onto the floor, tapping Xander on the shoulder.  "May I?"  The girl with him giggled and surrendered her uncle, letting him have him.  "Deep breath," he said quietly.  "It's going wonderfully."  Xander nodded.  "Now let it out."  He let it out.  "Good boy, Xander," he whispered in his ear, making him shiver.  "This is a very nice event.  You should be proud of Melissa."

"I am," he agreed with a small smile.  They looked at their children, who were the envy of some of the older women in the room.  Xander grinned up at him. "It's not going badly, is it?"

"Not in the least," he agreed, smiling at him.  Xander was calming down now.  "Relax, it'll be fine.  I know you're wearing a gun in case something stupid happens."  He nodded, resting his head for a moment on Lupin's shoulder, then his back stiffened and he put it back up.  "I didn't mind, Xander," he said gently.  "I didn't in the past and I don't now.  You can snuggle up to me without any strings anytime you want."  The song ended so he stepped back and grinned.  "Wanna go again?"

"Actually, I believe it's my turn?" a young woman said from behind him.  "Xander, your daughter is adorable," Spider, the head of London's portion of Xander's empire, offered as she danced him off.  "She's grown up a lot since the last time I saw her."

He grinned.  "They do that, no matter how much you don't want them to.  It seems like only yesterday I was taking them to be fitted for their first bras," he sighed.  She chuckled and danced him toward the edge of the crowd.  "What's up?"

"Are you announcing a formal alliance with the Lupin Empire tonight, Xander?" she asked quietly.

"We all know I work with Lupin, that Melissa works with Lupin the fourth."

"Yeah, but they're all here.  I can see Lupin and Jigen, but Fujiko and Goemon are here too."

"She finally got rid of his headache?"  She gave him a long look.  "The way we've got it figured is that we're a hidden part under his umbrella because he still has no idea what I do."  She chuckled at that.  "So, while I'm one of his, I'm yours as well."

"So it's a partnership?" she pressed.  "Like an alliance marriage?"  He blanched.  "Not saying that you'd do that again or anything," she offered quickly.

"I don't know.  I have no idea, Spider.  I like things the way that they are," he decided.

"Yeah, but you're miserable, mate.  You've got to be happy, Xander, otherwise you make the rest of us miserable by pouting."

"Yeah, but now Melissa can take over when I have those days," he said with a wry grin for her.

"Fine.  Can I tell people that we're still in waiting for that alliance marriage?"

"Spider!"

Bastian came over and stole Xander, with a wink for Spider.  "Thanks, love, needed my very own plush Xander toy."  She laughed but went to dance with Jigen since he was free.  "Xander, not to press, are we creating an alliance between us and Lupin?  We might as well already have one."

"I thought everyone knew I worked for Lupin."

"We do, that's why we might as well already have one," he said with a smirk.  "It would make some things simpler and would probably make their lives simpler if they didn't have to track you all over the globe for jobs.  Most of us think an unofficial one already exists."

"Most of you thought I was married to them until I dumped them too," he said dryly.

"Yeah, well, Alan made you happy but his career had to come first.  I get why he broke up with you."

"Other way around, but for the right reason," he admitted.  "I don't know, Bastian, they're sweet and nice, but I can't stand another bout of history replaying itself.  The way they ignored me, the way they treated me like I was an ornament.  It was killing me, Bastian."

"I get it, Xander.  I was married for a few weeks and she did the same thing."  He smirked at him. "Yes, me."

"I don't doubt it.  I figured you'd have a few more hidden in the past."  He shrugged and stepped back as the song ended.  "I'm still considering."

"Xan, wanna take a turn?" Jigen asked.

"Sure, Jigen."  Xander grinned at Bastian, knowing he could tell he was uptight at the moment.  Xander switched partners, dancing off with the man who had taught him how to dance.  "What's up?"

"Trying to find Lotus."

"Goemon pulled her over to dance with her," he said, nodding in that direction.  "Fujiko's sniffling about it."

"Oh."  He glanced and then shook his head.  "She is very pretty."

"She is," he agreed, wiggling his back some.  Jigen fixed his shoulder strap for him with a small wink.  "Thanks."  He glanced around.  "There's still some wallflowers."

"I doubt you're going to get many of the fences to dance, even with the kids looking for one.  Hmm, Arsene's with Heinrich though so maybe."

"No, one of the kids at school stole his statue again so she got given it to hand back to him.  She's like the retriever of it anymore."  He looked at Jigen.  "You've heard people asking me about an alliance?"  He nodded.  "What did Lupin say?"

"He said that if you took us back, then it was going to happen.  If you only took him back, he'd adore it.  If you only took me back, he'd be fine with it.  If you didn't take us back, I think he's going to pout at everyone in here until they tie you up and present you to him."  Xander made a face at that.  "He's right, Xander. It's only natural that we combine empires if we get back together.  Don't hide stuff from us.  The more we know, the more fascinating we think you are and the more we want to have you help us with the daily stuff."  He stole a kiss, making Xander moan as the music stopped.  "Think about it."  He let him go to the next female, a Russian if he remembered right, and went back to the bar.  On the way, he was stopped by Bastian and shook his head.  "For Xander maybe, maybe for Ishi, but not you, man."

Bastian smiled. "That's fine, I understand fully.  I liked girls more when I first met Xander too."  He gave his sleeve a short caress.  "Where is Ishi?"

"Um," he said, glancing around. "Hiding in the corner from the girl trying to devour him."  He pointed him out.  "You can go save him if you want, but he's very straight too."

"That's fine, I've got someone I want him to meet."  He strolled over there, making the girl walk off pouting.  "Ishi," he said fondly, smiling at him.  "A dance while we chat?"

"Do I have to?  I suck at that."

Bastian laughed. "It's not that hard.  I'll lead.  I've got someone who wanted to meet you, my boy."  He held a hand out and Ishi took it, letting him pull him up.  "My, you've grown again."  He led him onto the edge of the floor, dancing slowly with him.  "There's an acquaintance of mine who'd like to meet you.  He is American but he's not a spy," he said before Ishi could complain. "He's also not military.   He's an information broker.  He didn't say why he wanted to talk to you, just that he did.  It may be that he wants to see if you know where something is or possibly to get something off you."  Ishi nodded.  "Can I set up a phone interview?"

"Sure," he agreed.  "Do you have my cell?"

"I got it off Melissa.  I told her I was going to call to ask you out," he said with a wink.  Ishi blushed, making him chuckle.  "It's good that you know what you want, Ishi.  Keep that in mind, okay?"  Ishi nodded.  "Good boy.  Now, how long is the line to dance with your sister and are you going to kill me?"

"No, I know you'd never hurt her or touch her inappropriately because Mom would kill you," he said honestly, smirking at him.  He looked around.  "She's not looking happy so I'll let you have her.  Move us that way."  They moved that way and Bastian left Ishi there, cutting into Lotus' partner's spiel about his bank.  Ishi was tapped on the shoulder and taken over by Melissa.  "Hi.  I've got a phone interview.  You gave him my cell so he could hit on me?" he asked as they danced off.

"No, he said it was business and not pleasure," she promised, grinning up at him.  "How did you manage not to get nasty?"

"I only refilled the rollers and crawled along the roof with the multiple brush holder."

"Good point."  She smirked as she dipped him, making him blush.  "What's wrong?" she teased.  "Afraid of me?"

"Yes, you're one of those scary girls," he reminded her with a grin.  Someone coughed and he looked back then sighed.  "What?" he demanded.

"May I?" Fujiko asked.  "To speak?"

"We can sit down and speak," he offered, letting Melissa go with a nod.  She was snatched by someone else immediately so he didn't have to worry about her.  He went back to his former spot and sat down, looking at his mother.  "What did you wish to speak of, Fujiko?"

"I am still your mother."

"To us, you're a shade."

"I"ve changed, kid.  I'm trying, okay?  You guys made me see you're not babies, you're not following in my footsteps, and that you're good enough to already be on your own.  All I'm asking is for a quiet conversation."

"That's all you're getting," he assured her.  He pointed at a chair.  "Sit if you want."

"Thank you."  She sat down and smoothed out her skirt.  "It's all my fault.  I know I was wrong and I'm sorry as hell about what I did to you and Lotus, Ishi.  I want to make things right with you two.  I want to be there for your father.  I realize I'm in a very dark pit with you without a ladder."  He nodded, shifting some to cross his legs.  "I want a ladder.  That's all I want is a chance.  Your dad's given me another one.  I've changed. You can ask him, you can ask Lupin, hell you can even ask Xander.  He's been giving me these wary looks recently.  I've changed, Ishi. I want to be there for you."

"Why the sudden change?"

"What you did made me think.  Then you guys broke all my illusions about you guys needing me for anything.  I realized I was alone. I realized that I was about to be put to death by you or Lotus.  And I realized I didn't want that.  I want to be with your dad.  I want to be there for and with him.  I want to be the best mother I can to the younger kids.  I know it's too late for that with us, but can we maybe treat me like a stepmom at least?"

"We'll see.  Basing it on your behavior and such.  That is all we will allow.  Do not upset Lotus ever again however.  I will make my father a widow if you ever make her cry again."

"Agreed, Ishi, I don't want to make her cry.  She's nothing at all like me or the girls I grew up with.  Xander deserves a lot of credit for making you guys into great thieves and humans.  I'm happy that you guys had him when I was too dumb to be there for you.  All I'm asking for is a chance.  Speak to me when I talk to you, that's all I really want."

"We'll see. We decide such things as a group."

"Ishi, would you dance with me?" Lotus asked as she joined them.

"She wanted to ask for another chance."

"I'm basing it on what Mother says.  If Xander says that there's a shade worthy of being spoken to, I will."  She held out a hand, which he took.  "Thank you.  I just got pinched by that older guy."  She walked him out and let him dance her off.  "What did she say?" she asked once they were more or less alone.

"That she had changed, she's seen the error of her former ways, that she'd let me kill her if she made you cry, that she wants to be there for us kids, and can we please consider her a stepmother and at least give her a ladder out of the dark pit she's in with us."

"We'll see what Mom says," she agreed, putting her head on his shoulder.  "I'm tired."

"So am I.  We've only got a few more hours of this."  She nodded, smiling against his chest.  "What?"

"You're comfy.  You always were comfy to nap on."

"Don't you dare," he teased.

"It'd keep the older women from pinching you.  It'd also keep the older men from pinching you."  She coughed lightly.  "Ick."

"It's nothing.  Father's sitting down, I'll put you with him."  She nodded, letting him walk her off.  "Father, she's feeling a bit ill," he offered quietly as he handed his sister over.

Goemon got her sitting down and checked her forehead. "She's warm.  Where are our rooms for the night?"

"Upstairs."   Ishi looked up as the door opened, then pulled his gun on instinct, making sure he cleared enough space for his silencer.  He shot the person walking in wearing a police uniform, then trotted over to drag him off.  "Only sedative bullets," he offered when someone gasped.  He set him in a chair and looked him over.  "Uh-huh.  And who are you?" he asked, patting him down.  He found his ID case and snorted.  "Fine.  Whatever.  Stay out here, young man."  He put the ID case back and went back inside, shaking his head at the worried looks.  "Lupin the Fourth, your second one was just defeated.  It's just sedative bullets.  Piercing, from Scotland Yard."

"Wonderful," she agreed happily.  "We should go introduce ourselves when he wakes up."

"Sure."  He bowed to her and put up his gun, then danced her off, making her smile and giggle at the joke he told.

"Hey, I trained him, what else do we expect?" Xander called.  The musicians started up again and everyone shrugged it off and went back to their fun times.  Somehow Xander ended up in Lupin's arms again, which was making him uncomfortable.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He stole a quick kiss.  "Since Jigen stole one," he said with a grin, dancing him off.  "Have people been asking you if we're setting up an alliance?"  He nodded.  "Are we?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know."

"It would be helpful.  Besides, how else can I worship you if I don't know all you can do," he offered more gently.  He stole another kiss and put Xander's head on his shoulder.  "You rest and think, Xander.  It's important that you think."

"I don't want to get too comfy."

"Me either," Lupin admitted.  "You've always been comfortable for me, Xander."  He smiled at someone as they came over, shaking his head at them.  They shrugged and smiled, heading off for another partner, Jigen.  "You know, if I wanted to, I could be sneaky and ask you to marry me here, make it a real alliance marriage.  You'd have a hard time saying no in front of everyone."  Xander groaned.  "Fortunately I like you more than that."

Xander lifted his head.  "Who was talking about a marriage?"

"I was."  Xander stopped dancing to stare at him.  "I am.  Here, now.  Mine."  He pulled something out of his jacket and handed it over.  "I found that earlier," he admitted with a small smile.  "If you take us back, it's yours.  Jigen liked it too."

Xander felt someone come up behind him and glanced back, noticing it was Jigen.  "Um..."

"Open it, Xan, don't keep us waiting," Jigen prompted.  He saw the scared look.  "You can say no, or not yet."

Xander nodded, opening the box.  Inside was a small ring with three inset diamonds.  He looked at Lupin, who shrugged and grinned. "It's beautiful."

"It's us," he corrected, "which is very pretty," he agreed at the odd look Jigen gave him.

"Be ours, Xander?  Please?" Jigen asked.  "All of you, all of us.  No more hiding, no more ignoring from our side."

"That also comes with a yearly hit upside the head if we start again," Lupin offered.  "Plus, I'd do a prenup so you'd get half of what's mine and I'd get a third of yours."

Xander swallowed, staring at them. "Guys."

"Oh, say yes already," Arsene called.  "We all know it's what you need and want."   He shot a glare at her so she smirked at him.  "Really, mother.  We all know this.  Even the shade does."

"I, ah," Xander swallowed.  "Am..."

Lupin kissed him gently and closed the box.  "Think about it tonight, Xander.  Answer me at breakfast.  That way you don't have to do it with everyone he knows watching," he said, glaring around. "Don't pressure him."  He looked at Xander again, tipping up his chin, seeing the wet eyes.  "No, don't cry, Xander.  It was my fault, I'm the dumbass.  Now I'm trying to make it right."  He pulled him in for a hug.  "Please, just think about it and tell me."  Xander nodded.  "Thank you."  He let Jigen steal him.  "I want him back, I wasn't finished dancing with him yet."

"Yeah, yeah, after I'm done with him," Jigen said, walking Xander off to a corner.  He sat him down and kissed him gently.  "Just think about it for now."

Xander looked up at him.  "Yes."  Jigen's mouth opened.  "If you guys can keep your promises this time."  He let out a nervous chuckle.  "I figure if Lupin's changed enough not to pressure me in public for this then he must have changed a bit more too."

Jigen smiled and kissed him, one hand tangling in Xander's hair to keep him closer.  "Thank you," he said when he pulled back.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I haven't had one of those in a while."  He stroked the damp lips.  "I may only be able to top for a bit, Xander."

"That's fine, Jigen. I like being on the bottom most of the time."

"Good.  Then we'll pounce Lupin together."

"I heard pouncing being mentioned," Lupin said as he brought them glasses of champagne.  "When is it my turn for a kiss?"

"When you put this thing on me," Xander said, taking his glass.

Lupin grinned and kissed him, making Xander drop his glass and moan into his mouth.  He pulled back and took the ring, sliding it on the correct finger.  "There, mine."

"Yours," he panted.

"Both of ours," Jigen reminded Lupin.

"Of course."  Lupin looked around.  "We can't make it official but we do have a few people here who are notaries."  He looked at Xander.  "Did you want something quiet or something where everyone knew?  Or would you rather hold another of these?"

"I hate formal events."  He stood up and whistled, pointing at someone, who came over to them.  "Hey, Hal, I know you can bind couples."

"I can and I have," he offered, pulling a chair over.  "Let him sit, Lupin."  Lupin sat down on Xander's other side.  "Did you want this to be quiet or not?"

"I...."  He looked at them.  "Well?"

"Quiet," Jigen ordered.  "We can announce it later."

"Sure," Lupin agreed.  "That okay with you, Xander?"

"It's got to be love, they asked your opinion," Bastian said as he walked Melissa over.  "We'll be the witnesses."

"Sure," he agreed weakly.  "Quiet's fine."  He looked at his ring, then held it up.  "It's very pretty."

"We helped him pick it out, mom.  Of course it is.  Arsene found it and drug her father into the right store to see it."  She grinned at him.  "Now you can't leave us again."

Xander nodded and took their hands.  "Now, Hal?  Before I get too nervous."

"Of course, Xander.  Xander, do you love them?"  Xander looked at them, then nodded. "Do you have a proclamation of it?" he pressed.

"They changed for me.  They're not going to ignore me.  I loved 'em before but they changed the things that were wrong. They're mine again," Xander said in a rush, blushing.

"Lupin?"

"I've always been his.  Xander's a stunning thief who didn't even realize he stole me after I got over the shock of meeting him."  He kissed the back of the hand he held.  "Love you, Xander."

"I knew there was something special about him when I met him," Jigen offered.  "That's why I took him with me instead of dropping him off somewhere.  Best decision in my life and it's made it crazier, but a lot more sane too."  He grinned at him.  "Sorry, as mushy as I get."

"That's okay, we don't expect mush from you, Jigen," Xander offered, grinning at him.  "I think that's as mushy as you've ever gotten."

"Since he's wearing the ring, I will pronounce you three a trio, bonded and mated.  Let nothing and no one come between you again.  Or else this time the children might retaliate," he said wisely.  He stood up and waved a waiter over, handing over glasses of champagne to them.  "Drink to celebrate."

"To the trio," Melissa offered.

"To the trio," Bastian and Hal agreed.  Xander blushed and sipped his, Lupin grinned and drank his, and Jigen just drank.

"Now, how are we integrating the two empires?" Bastian asked.

"I'll work on that with Melissa, Arsene, and you two," Lupin promised.  "Give us a few days."

"That's fine," he agreed happily.  "What's wrong with Lotus?"

"She's got a slight case of the sniffles and doesn't really drink," Melissa told him. "I'm guessing it's a combination of the two."  She led him off, going to dance with him again. Since he was her cohort in her mother's empire.  "You know, Daddy and Daddy Lupin are going to be really stunned when they figure out how massive Mom's empire is.  He gave them the quick list but I don't think they realize how massive it is yet."

"Probably not. I know I didn't until Xander told me and Homer.  Speaking of, do you know where he is?"

"He's in Japan.  We'll be seeing him when we bring Lotus to be presented to her Order."

"Ah.  Good.  Should I come to that?"

"Nah, I can handle Homer, he's a big pussycat," she teased, grinning up at him.

"Ducks, I've got to remember how old you are, or you'd be in trouble right now," he offered, shifting a bit as the music stopped.  "You look much too old to be sixteen."

"Fifteen for a few more months," she corrected gently.  He swallowed.  "But I know I'm hot so you can lust after me if you want.  Daddy just warned me not to date Paulo."

He chuckled and hugged her, starting off again on another dance.  "Fine.  I'll hold it in check for a few more years at least.  We'll need a new symbol of course."

"Entwined L's?"

"I like that.  Maybe old script style or something."  He shrugged it off.  "It'll happen and we'll tell the others."  He nodded at Spider as she danced past.  "The answer was yes."

"Really?" she asked with a smirk, winking at Melissa.  "Can only help some of us."  She grinned up at the fence she was dancing with.  "So, do you work for Lupin, Lavelle, or yourself?"

"I work for Lavelle mostly.  He keeps me pretty busy. I also seem to work for the kids since the last one they went to was arrested before he got to them."

Arsene looked up at the fence she was dancing with.  "I've got something for you from the school," she admitted.

"I knew someone had stolen my statue."

"Not me, I'm only delivering.  The Headmistress figured I'd be seeing you here."  She pulled the small statue out of her top, along with the letter.  "Yours I believe."

Heinrich opened the letter, scanning it.  "Do I know this Shannon?"

"Trim, redhead, daughter of your last mistress."

"Ah, her.  She was quite good.  They did say that you didn't steal it, that you were kind enough to bring it back to me."

"Daddy told me to never piss a fence off, otherwise you might as well retire and raise the next generation and hope that they don't get blacklisted for your stupidity," she quoted, grinning up at him.  "Speaking of work, I still have some of that treasure to go.  That guy in Italy couldn't take all of it and Melissa's holding a few pieces for retirement and emergencies."

"I'll look at them sometime this week, Lupin.  When are you leaving for Japan?"

"Two days.  The kids have eye exams tomorrow.  We girls have to go for our exams tomorrow.  Lotus has to get her kimono from the house if no one thought to bring it.  Then we're going over to the training camp since it's closer.  We'll be there for a few days, then come back for the actual holiday celebration, and then ...."  She trailed off, looking at the trio in the corner.  "They're kissing."

"I'm guessing the empires are to be merged," he said fondly, smiling at her.  "You do very well, Arsene.  Have you ever thought about being a fence?"

"Yeah, but I'd miss breaking into places.  Part of the good stuff of being a thief is the getting in and taking it part."

"True.  If you change your mind, I could probably find a place for you in the lower ranks, let you work your way up."

"You might want to suggest that to Fred. He's not too keen on doing his own plans."

"I've been watching him.  He'll be a gunman," he said wisely.  "A miniature Lavelle."

She nodded.  "That'd be nice," she agreed, smiling up at him.  "You really are nicer than most people say.  You don't have an alligator at all."

He chuckled.  "I do, it's at home, dear one.  Ah, there's Fujiko.  I need to speak to her.  If I may be excused?"

"Sure," she agreed, letting him go.  She watched him walk off then went to talk to her parents.  She noticed Ishi converging on the same spot and grinned at him.  "Hi, studly.  Find anyone yet?"

"Stop it," he warned.  "I'm not like that."  They stopped in front of the trio.  "I take it it's official?"  Lupin nodded, grinning at them.  "Good, then we need to talk about my mother."

"That's okay, I just figured out the swamp comment from Cairo.  It was Heinrich," Lupin noted calmly, sipping her champagne.  Lupin the Third nodded.  "You knew?"

"I figured it out a few days after you started school.  I also warned him off."  He held up a hand.  "Do you mind, Empress?"

"No, daddy.  I don't want to be a solitary empress.  I'd rather be a dual empress with Melissa."  She grinned at the other two.  "I'm happy, but remember, we get to react if you two break up this time."

"You can," Jigen promised, stroking Xander's shoulders. "What about your mom, Ishi?"

"She asked me for another chance."

"She did stop plotting against you," Lupin admitted.  "Goemon said she's stopped plotting as well.  That she's thinking a lot and she's very sorry."

"She wanted a ladder out of her grave?" Melissa asked as she joined them.

"Yeah, and to be treated like a stepmother."  Ishi shrugged.  "I'm waiting on information about her changing.  Mom?"

"She has, or she's trying really hard to," Xander admitted quietly.  "I'm still very wary, but I've noticed she is giving the boys these long, sad stares.  She even let Yu suck in his sleep the other day from what I heard."

"She did what?" Ishi asked.

"Yu's still sucking in his sleep if there's anyone nearby," Lupin reminded him.  "Goemon brought him into their bed after finding him in Xander's.  They all fell asleep again and Yu woke her up by trying for a snack.  She didn't scream, didn't cry, didn't rant, and let him continue when he snuck back for a second round."

"Goemon's been having empty nest thoughts since Lotus is so grown up," Jigen offered.

"Oh, please, not another one," Xander begged.  "Bix will never get to retire and Ray will be pissed at me."

"Nah, we can handle one baby, Xander. We all kinda miss having a baby around.  Even you.  I've seen you giving Yu those same sad looks."  He nodded, that was true and he couldn't deny it.

"We're letting them play it by ear, guys," Lupin told the kids.  "They're fully back together.  She put the moves on Goemon and he accepted it.  He's a lot happier too."

"Then we'll watch and wait," Ishi noted.  "I'll talk to Lotus."

"Goemon did that earlier," Jigen admitted.  "I think that's what gave her the headache."

"No, she doesn't drink and she had the sniffles," Ishi told him.

"Okay then," Jigen agreed easily enough.  "We've got to fix that for her."

"She'll start to build an immunity soon enough," Lupin reminded him, sipping her fifth glass of wine that night.  "We all did."  She looked up at Ishi, then at her father.  "Daddy, I want to go professional for my first time.  Would that bother you?"

"Daughter, I don't want to know anything about your sex life," Lupin said calmly.  "I want to meet the guys I can threaten to kill if they mistreat you.  I want to meet anyone you're serious about.  I don't want to know otherwise.  Just as long as you're careful!"

"Yes, daddy.  Thank you, daddy."  She walked off, pulling out her phone to call a number she had looked up at the Academy.  "Is the Countessa in?" she asked quietly.  "Lupin the Fourth."  She smiled at the waiter, taking a refill.  "Countessa, it's Lupin the Fourth.  No, I wanted to speak to you about a delicate matter.  No, my father has said that he wanted me to be...pure until I was sixteen and that time is coming up soon.  I was hoping you had a recommendation of somewhere I could go to find someone to teach me that art."  She listened and nodded.  "Thank you.  Of course.  I can come over in about an hour.  We're still at Lavelle's event."  She smiled.  "Thank you, Countessa."  She hung up and went back to dancing, finding Ishi all alone.  "I'm going to be ducking out for a bit.  I'll be back tonight if anyone asks."  He nodded.  "It's not a job, I promise."  She kissed him on the cheek then left, heading out to get one of the cabs outside.  The doorman opened the door and she handed over a twenty.  "To 2312 Rue St. Marie."  He nodded, taking off with her.  "Don't take the main bridge if there's still that traffic jam."  The driver nodded again and took her through the tunnel instead.

***

Countessa Domini was an elegant older woman, she was the top courtesan in Europe and she trained the mistresses of a great many world leaders.  She personally let Lupin the Fourth into her home and into her drawing room.  She was wearing a print silk dressing robe and had her hair still perfectly in place.  "My dear, you look quite stunning in that."

"Thank you.  Lavelle helped me pick it out."  She sat down and smiled at her.  "I know this is an odd request and not something you usually handle, but it is necessary."

"I agree.  Especially with your nature.  Your father always had girls around him who were more than willing to aid his education."  She sat down and curled up on her couch.  "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you.  It'd go against the champagne we've had all night," she admitted.  She played with the bracelet over her glove.  "I'm going to be sixteen this June.  Dad made us swear off anything until then.  I've been curious for years, but I've held to my promise because I knew that daddy would be upset and I'd end up like my sister, married."  She shot her a nervous glance, then went back to playing with her bracelet.  "But the time has finally come and there's no one at the school that I'd consider even a cheap one-night stand with."

"It is correct, your first time should be important and special.  Are you sure you want to do it this way?"

Lupin leaned back, crossing her legs.  "My first time I almost broke down was in a club when I was ten, Countessa.  I'm going to go nuts if I have to wait much longer.  The Lupin heritage is very strong within me.  By family standards back sixteen generations or so, I'm a prude and an old maid."

She nodded.  "True. The last three were broken in much younger than you are.  What do you want for your first time?"

"Someone to teach me.  Someone to let me sate my insane curiosity on.  Someone to teach me the right way to do it because I know I suck at some things.  I've tried with a few toys and I can't get the hang of oral sex at all."  The older woman chuckled at that.  "I want to be a good lover.  I want it to be spectacular.  Also, there's the complication that the rules state that we're supposed to only be having sex at the house, that way the parents make sure that we're doing so safely.  I won't demand it this first time," she promised.

"That's very wise.  There is a place I know who does have males," she admitted.  "She's in Berlin.  It's a very nice house.  Very clean and the like.  Everyone is tested.  She has catered to many young woman with odd tastes, I'm sure she could cater to your special occasion.  Are you sure you wouldn't rather have it be something special to you?"

"I'm realistic.  I'm not going to be settling down for a very long time. If I have my way, there will be no Lupin heir until I'm at least thirty. Of course, since Daddy's only twenty- five at the moment, he'll probably be a doting grandfather," she admitted with a small grin.

"How did he do that?"

"We know an alchemist.  He made a potion.  Lavelle runs a small plastic surgery office in LA and they're selling it out of there."  She nodded, accepting that reason.  "It's very good but you can only use it once and it only takes off about ten years."

"That's fine.  I know of many who would pay dearly for such.  Let me get her address for you, Lupin."

"You've earned the right to call me by my first name, Countessa.  You're one of the most important women in Europe.  I'd take no insult from it."

She smiled.  "Thank you, Arsene.  By the way, you would make a charming addition to my family, but do not use me for a job again."

"I didn't want to at that time, it was a matter of distraction so we could get some schoolmates out.  I did send her back that waistchain personally.  The Greek Ambassador's lady told me to say I was yours."

"Then I will not bother myself about it again," she promised.  She went to her desk and found the address, copying it down for her.  "Here you are, Arsene.  I thank you for coming to me for this most special occasion."

"Thank you for your time, Countessa."  She slid it into the pocket inside her top.  "I had to have an ID pocket put in," she explained.  "I can't get the hang of carrying little girly purses.  It's just not me."

The Countessa smiled at her.  "No, it is not you.  The gloves aren't your usual statement either."

"I got paint on me earlier while I was torturing the commissioner's house.  I couldn't get it all off."

"Ah.  Very well hidden then, child.  Are the empires merging?"  She nodded.  "Hmm, perhaps I will see Melissa some day?"

"Maybe, but Melissa's the sort to take on a permanent person.  Her guy had to go to Interpol to save himself because they wanted him to kill us.   She's still lusting over him.  She's also very bi, but she goes for personality.  If so, I'm sure you could find her someone who I could get along with too."  She grinned.  "Or maybe me some day."

"Hopefully.  How about that nice young man?"

"Ishi?  I'm sure his dad's hoping he settles down with a nice girl someday to raise a Fifteenth. I'm sure he's hoping for a nice one, but hopefully Asian of some sort.  Lotus would be the harder one really."  She nodded at that.  "Then of course there's Fred, who's eight.  Thank you, Countessa.  I'll let you get back to your evening."  She bowed again and left.

The older woman leaned back, considering who she knew.  She did know a few very nice girls that Goemon the Fourteenth would adore hopefully.  She also had one man who might work very well with Melissa.  She'd have to keep an eye on them.  Maybe one of her newer students would be of more help to them.  Or possibly Lavelle if he didn't take back Lupin and Jigen.  It was an interesting dynamic.  She got up and went back up to her partner, sliding back into bed with him.  "She is gone," she whispered in the Commissioner's ear.  "You can come out now.  You will be missing an inspector I think."

"I figured as much."  He smiled before kissing her. "How long before I said I have to go home?"

"Four more hours, love."

"That's fine.  More than enough time to make you happy."  He kissed her again, one hand moving down to tease a peaked nipple.

***

Lotus woke up alone in the suite, looking around in confusion.  What had woken her?  She heard her name whispered again and shuddered.  "I'm not yours, snake demon," she muttered.  She heard a laugh and turned on the light, finding a demon at the foot of her bed. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I want to give you what you want, Lady Lotus.  I live to serve you."

"Then you die," she noted calmly, tucking the sheets more firmly around her.  "Begone."

"But Lady Lotus, I can bring your greatest pleasures to the forefront.  I can give you anything you desire."  He stepped closer.  "I can be anyone you want.  No matter how famous, how odd you think it is.  Your brother, your father, someone famous like your favorite actor.  Anyone you desire I can be.  All you have to do is accept me."

Lotus took something off her dresser and opened it, then tossed it on him.  "I said, begone!  I have no desire for temptatious and freaky demon sluts.  By the way, my brother is not someone I would desire, neither are my father or my uncles.  Now, begone, before Xander gets up here and I have him kill you."

"I will be back."

"No, you won't.  Next time, I'm killing you."  He glared at her so she sent him the icy look of death that she had gotten off her father, making him back up.  "Begone, Incubus, before I get upset and decide to turn my powers back onto Hell for your approaching me.  I know I can get Xander to help me."  He swirled up in a puff of smoke and disappeared.  "I hate sexual demons.  Why can't they leave me alone?"

"What's wrong?" Goemon asked as he walked in.  He sniffed.  "What is that stink?"

"The incubus I just drove off."

"Incubus?"

She nodded. "He tried to tempt me by saying he could become you or Ishi, or a famous actor."

He glared at the spot the stench was coming from.  "I will speak to your uncle about making him sorry."

"Sure, I was going to so I could learn how to banish them."  She shrugged.  "Daddy, do we have any cold medicine?"

"Yes, but you may not have any. They said so."

"Damn."  She let him tuck her back in.  "Thank you, daddy.  How was the party?"

"Your uncles are now remarried.  Everyone was happy when that was announced.  Arsene snuck off to do something. Your mother approached your brother about what we spoke of."

"We'll see, father."

"That is fine, just consider it, Lotus.  It would make me happy if we were a true family again."

"We'll see," she repeated.  He nodded, leaving her alone but the door open. "He's not coming back."

"I'm not taking that chance," he replied from the front room.   Goemon got out of his formal kimono and sat down with his sword to check it over.  When Xander came in he stood up.  "I do not wish to break the happy mood, but an incubus just tempted Lotus."

"I'll teach her how to banish them in the morning," Xander promised, grinning at him. "She's powerful, Goemon.  I have no doubt we'll be going through the same thing with Alex.  She's powerful, she's pure, and she fights against demons.  Of course they want to turn her.  She's a threat.  The same as I am.  I'll teach her how to banish them tomorrow."

"Thank you, Xander.  Can we find some way of making sure he doesn't come back."

Xander winked and went into Lotus' room, where something shrieked and exploded quietly.  He came out buttoning back up his shirt.  "Done.  One less sex demon in the world."

"Don't bother buttoning back up," Lupin said smoothly, stealing Xander into their bedroom.

Jigen looked at Goemon. "It'll be fine, Goemon.  She's smart and strong, she can resist and banish them."  He looked over as Arsene walked in and closed the door.  "Where did you go?"

"To talk to Countessa Domini about my first time. Stuff Daddy said he didn't want to know about."

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  "Me either."  He waved and went into their bedroom, closing the door behind him.  He watched as those two writhed against each other, merely kissing for now.  Lupin's hands were in Xander's hair and Xander's hands were teasing and stroking Lupin's back.  He undid his bowtie and tossed it into the chair, then sat down to take off his shoes, his socks, and his jacket.  "Can I interrupt?" he suggested.

Xander pulled back to pant.  "Of course," he offered.  "Come on in."

Jigen stood up and stripped off, knowing they were watching him.  This time it didn't bother him.  He walked over and climbed in behind Xander, working on his buttons one- handed.  "You're overdressed.  We should do this before things get too desperate."  Xander stood up by rolling over Jigen and stealing a kiss, then stood up beside the bed to strip off.  He noticed Lupin staring and nudged him.  "You too."

Lupin stripped off and laid back down, patting the bed between them.  "Right here, Xander, where you belong."  Xander crawled over Jigen's legs, grinning at them.  "Kiss him, Xander, make him brainless."

Xander complied, facing Jigen and pulling him closer to kiss him.  Jigen was hesitant but he went with it for now.  During the kiss, he put one leg over Jigen's thighs so they could rub against each other.  Jigen pulled back to moan so Xander moved lower, laying teasing bites on his adam's apple and on the pulse point.  He shifted backward, teasing and playing with the firm chest. He noticed Jigen was sweating so he looked up at him.  "Tell me if it get to be too much," he said quietly.  Jigen nodded, pushing his head back down.  Xander went back to his playing with the tight nipples.  He could feel Jigen pressing against his stomach and smiled, shifting so his body was rubbing against the length.  Jigen arched up, starting to pant.  Xander nodded Lupin over to kiss him and went back to pleasuring his new husband.  He loved this man, phobias and all.  He made it down to the where Jigen's tip was resting and gave it a gentle lick.  "What do you want me to do, Jigen?"

"Suck!" he panted between breath-stealing kisses from Lupin.  "Please."

"Of course.  I love to suck you." Xander started by sucking the tip in, playing with it gently, making Jigen grip the sheets.  Then he moved lower and let it be thrust in deeper, adding suction on the way up.  He dove down again, making Jigen moan, then came up to play with the tip again.  One hand came up to tease the soft sack, making Jigen shift and open his legs wider.  Xander let his pinky finger tease the sensitive spot behind them, making Jigen arch up into his mouth.  He paid attention to what he was doing, making him howl in pleasure as he came.  Xander came up to kiss him.  "You taste good, you always have," he whispered.

"Xander," Jigen moaned.  "I..."

"Shh, that's all you, Jigen.  Not me.  I'm not that flexible.  Now, if Lupin would do me the same way, you could taste me on his lips."  Lupin took the hint, going down to tease and play with him.  Xander grabbed the headboard, holding on for dear life.  He had straddled Jigen's lap to kiss him and Lupin was teasing him, letting his hair tease Jigen's cock back into service.  "Ooh, yeah," he moaned, getting into it.  "He's fantastic at this.  Nearly as good as I am."  He pulled Jigen's head up so he could kiss him.  "Want me to get off you?"

"No, stay," he offered, stroking up Xander' stomach to play with his nipples.  With how muscular he was, his pectorals could almost be taken for breasts.  He loved Xander enough to try this for him.  He played with the peaked buds, making Xander arch up into his fingers, he knew how sensitive they were.  Lupin pulled off to pant, giving him a kiss.  A darker, salty taste was in his mouth.  Was that Xander?  It was almost something he could get to like.  He kissed him again, letting Xander move his hands down to touch him.  He was stroking his lover before he knew what was going on.  He looked up and found Xander's eyes closed.  He put a little more pressure on him and Xander came with a moan.  Lupin took his hand to lick, then cleaned up Jigen's chest for him, making him happy and start to get hard again.  "What about you?" he asked Lupin.

"I'm going to have the ass I missed," he said with a grin.  "Xander, that okay with you?  That I invade you and make you go off again?"

Xander grinned at him and shifted so his thighs were outside of Jigen's.  "You go ahead, I'll stay here and rub against him for now."  He kissed Jigen, making him moan. "Give him a moment to find some lube, Jigen.  Then it'll be good again."

"I know it will. You always make it nice."  He gripped the firm ass, smiling at the purr he heard from Lupin for it.  He felt a damp finger brush past his hands and pulled them farther apart while kissing his husband.  It was something he hadn't thought of before, but he loved Xander and what Xander did to him was better than any woman in the past.  He felt Xander shift, rubbing his harder cock against his boy's stomach and Xander's limper one against his pubic mound.  Xander moaned in the kiss, arching back some.  Lupin let out an evil chuckle and Jigen felt the fingers switch. Now it was a thumb and Lupin was leaning down to lick up Xander's spine, making him howl in pleasure.

"Now, Lupin, please?" Xander panted.

"Just a bit more, Xander.  I don't want to hurt you."

"Fuck hurting me!  Now!"

"Shh, give him a minute," Jigen soothed, kissing him again.  He let one hand come off the firm buns and run through the silver hair, making Xander kiss him again.  Xander panted as he felt something start, and Jigen watched over his shoulder, one hand still holding a cheek open for Lupin's pleasure.  The hard cock pushed past his hand as it slowly sunk into Xander's body.  "Bare?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm clean, he's clean.  I want him naked," Lupin panted, resting against Xander's back.  "You ready?" he asked, looking at Jigen.  Who nodded.  Lupin moved, which made Xander shift, which rubbed their cocks together.  Lupin pulled out, which made Xander shift to follow him, and Jigen rubbed against a different part of Xander's stomach.  Lupin sped up, setting a good, hard, fast rhythm that wouldn't last long but that would drive them all insane by then.  Hopefully.  He was working himself hard, making Xander grip the sheets and suck on Jigen's neck so he wouldn't hurt him. It didn't take long, he'd been wanting it too long for that, but when he came, he shoved in as far as he could, making Xander scream in pleasure.  Then he pulled out and went limp on the bed beside them.  "You okay?" he asked as he stroked Xander's back.

"Fine," he said, still rocking his hips.  "I need more though."  He looked up at Jigen.  "Do you think you could do that much?"

"Probably," he agreed, more than ready to slam in there.  He hadn't been this hard in a while.  Xander was taken by Lupin, who curled up around him, letting Jigen spoon behind him.  He looked down at his slid in, liking this sight.  He slid back out and went back in again, slowly, torturously moving back into the warm, wet cavity.  It wasn't much different than he had with a woman.  He pulled back and pushed back in further.  He could tell he wasn't going to slam into someone's cervix so he didn't have to worry about going too deep.

"More," Xander moaned, arching back. "Please, Jigen?  More!  All of it!"

Jigen slid in all the way, moving to hold him, driving himself into the warmth.  "My bitch?" he hissed.

"Yours.  Please!"  Jigen sped up, making Xander scream in pleasure and clutch at Lupin, who was working his front for him.  "Please, more, now!" he pleaded.

Jigen reached around, wanting to touch him.  He found a hand there and batted it away, doing it himself.  It wasn't much different.  It was like he was stroking a clit instead of just teasing it with a finger.  Xander arched back and rocked his hips, trying to get more and get it deeper.  "You're takin' all I got," he assured him.

"Harder!"  Jigen went harder, realizing that he could slam into Xander, he could take him going as hard and as fast as he wanted.

"You can put him onto his back if you want," Lupin suggested.  "It'll be fine."  Jigen nodded, letting Lupin help Xander rearrange himself, legs over Jigen's shoulders.  He watched as Jigen slammed back in and Xander arched up to meet him.  He decided to lend a helping mouth and licked at the hard cock Xander had, catching Jigen's eyes.  They shared a kiss.  "Slip upwards at the end," he encouraged.  "Just like a g-spot."  Jigen did it and Xander's moans changed pitch, going higher.  Lupin smirked and went back to pleasing his new man, allowing him to grab his head and hold it down.  He finally got to come up for air and let some saliva trail down onto the dripping cock.  "Damn, Xander, tomorrow it's my turn," he promised.  Jigen growled and went harder, one hand coming down to play with the hard cock.  "Just let it go, Jigen.  We can soothe him if we need to."

Jigen shook his head.  "On me," he panted.  He managed to go faster, making Xander's breath catch and him shake, then go limp.  Jigen looked down at the come that had fallen over the back of his hand, pulling out to wipe it on himself, then going back to what he had been doing.  He came a few moments later, making Xander sigh in pleasure.  Lupin helped him into the middle, even going to get a washcloth to clean them up.  He pulled Xander closer to kiss him.  "Thank you," he whispered.

"My pleasure, really," Xander assured him with a bright grin.  "You gonna lick that off?" he asked, nodding at the damp hand.  He watched as Jigen slowly tasted some of the spilled come, smiling at him.  "It's an acquired taste," he promised at the odd look on Jigen's face.

"It's not that bad."

"No, it's not," Lupin promised, putting the washcloth aside.  He licked Jigen's hand clean, then used a clean spot on the washcloth to clean it of.  "There.  Now we need to rest."

"Hmm, nap," Xander agreed.  "Get you tomorrow, Lupin."

"Sure, Xander. Just warn me first."

Jigen drifted off while they were chatting, content to be in the center for now.

***

Fujiko smirked at Goemon once they were alone in their room.  "Sounds like they're happy."

"It sounds more like they're exhausted and one of them won't make it to breakfast," he countered, pulling her closer.  He kissed her gently, working on the zipper of her dress.  "Let me help."

"Sure, Goemon."  She turned, letting him unzip her and smooth the dress off her body.  She turned around, seeing his admiring look for her bra and panty set, but she didn't expect him to pick her up and toss her onto the bed.  He took off her shoes and thigh holster, then slid the stockings down slowly, tossing them over his shoulder.  He stood up, taking off his remaining clothes, leaving the loincloth on after a hesitation.  "Off, Goemon.  Take it off." He blushed but did take it off, putting it aside.  She got her bra undone but he swatted at her fingers, doing it for her.  That too went over his shoulder then he stood up to get her panties off, tossing them onto the floor.  She lay there as he had tossed her, legs spread, on her back, open to his gaze, and saw the desire flame up in him.  She shifted her knees outward, giving him a better view.  He moaned and she saw him start to react. "Mine?" she asked, holding up a hand.

"Of course."  He slid back overtop of her, slowly kissing up her stomach to get to her lips, avoiding her nipples.  She arched up against his body when their lips touched, making him smile before diving back in.  He felt a hand come around to tease his neck, not minding the nails a bit.  She liked to scratch, it was something he had never minded.  He got the first good one when he let his hands come up to play with her breasts, making her moan and arch up again.  "Not yet, wife," he whispered.  "It's not time for that yet."  He moved down to tease what he was playing with, making her happy and wiggle. He let one hand move lower, teasing the sensitive spots on her stomach.  She swatted at him but he continued until she moved one of his hands lower, impatient for him to move on.  Instead of his hand, he went down there to worship it, making her grab onto the sheets as she moaned.  "Patience.  I'm not near ready to have you yet."  He slowly licked and tasted, teasing and tempting her until she went over on his tongue.  He cleaned her up and went back to teasing her.  "What do you wish, wife?"  He didn't get an answer so he looked up at her.  "Tell me or I'll stop."

"In me, please, Goemon."  He used a finger to enter her, teasing her some more.  "Not that way!"  She grabbed him and tossed him onto his back, climbing on top of him.  "You tease."

"I like to tease you, you react very well," he assured her, holding her hips still as he ground up into her, forcing her clit into contact with his pubic mound.  "What would you like tonight?"

"You, just you," she panted.  He put her back onto her back and slid back home, making them both moan.  She arched up and he gently thrust.  "More, please?"

"Shh, have patience, Fujiko.  I am not looking for something fast tonight.  I wish to pleasure you in many ways."  He went back to pleasuring her, tasting her nipples, using her body's weapons against itself.   By the time he was ready, she was making pleading, babbling noises.  He liked that.  He sped up and she shouted, so he sped up further, making her go back to her babbling at him.  One phrase caught his ear.  "Daughter?" he asked.  "You wish a daughter?"

"Yes, god, anything for you!  Please!"

He smiled and went for his own pleasure, sure she would get her own one way or another.  When he shot into her, he used his thumb to finish her off, making her claw up his back and bite him on the shoulder, which was also fine with him.  He laid down on top of her to hold her. "Shh, I am here," he said as she started to calm down.  "Are you back on the pill?" he asked.  She shook her head.  "Then, if you were only speaking in the heat of passion, perhaps you should find a pill pack in the morning."

She put her arms around him and kissed him.  "I'll think about it."  She kissed him again. "Aren't you tired?"

"Exhausted but I wish to watch you sleep."  She smiled and closed her eyes while he stroked her stomach, putting her to sleep.  He withdrew from her body and laid beside her, still stroking her.  She was wonderful and suited him now that she had fixed herself.  He touched the bitemark on his shoulder and let out a grin.  Yes, she was perfect for him.  He yawned and laid down on her shoulder, one leg thrown over hers, his arm around her stomach. That's how he fell asleep.

***

Xander woke up to a missed feeling, someone stroking him.  He opened his eyes and smiled at Jigen, who was doing the stroking.  "Morning."

"Morning.  Can I try that again?"

"Whatever you want, Jigen."  He arched up to give him a kiss.  "Just don't call it a clit out loud again."

"I'm sorry, Xander."

"It's all right.  Quite a few guys who cross over call it a pussy for a few months."

"No, it's not a pussy.  I can tell it's not one of those," he promised, kissing him again.  "Can I try that licking thing?"  Xander slid onto his back and stretched out for him.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Just tease it for now, until you get ready."

Jigen nodded, taking that advice.  He started out licking, making Xander happier.  Then he slowly licked across the head, earning a shiver for his efforts.  He let the head slide into his mouth, sucking gently on it, like he would a nipple.  He felt the small arch upward and let Xander have more of his mouth.  Then he felt hands on his shoulders and pulled back to look at Lupin.

"I'm helping," he promised gently, smiling at him.  "Next time, go down and keep going, then hold it for three counts, then come up and breathe.  I'll help if you need me too."  Jigen shook his head, doing as ordered.  "Deeper, Jigen, it's the best feeling when it's done to you."  He tried it again, earning a moan and Xander helping by pushing up a bit.  Jigen came up spluttering.  "Breathe, it's all right," he soothed, stroking his back.  "Try it again.  Breathe in as you go down, breathe out as you come back up."  Jigen tried it again, going all the way down again, taking the advice.  He came up and went back down.  He could like this he guessed.  He came up to suck on the head again, making Xander whimper and arch up.

"Play with whatever's not in your mouth.  He likes that."  Lupin got the lube out and put a dab on his fingertip.  "I'm going to do just one finger, Jigen."  He slid it inside so he could head for the other man's prostate.  Jigen nearly choked this time when he found it but came back up so he could breathe.  Lupin continued to gently flick across it.  "Go back to it if you want, or just play with your hands and kiss him.  Whatever's good for you."

"What about you?"

Lupin grinned.  "I can always get Xander to blow me."  Xander nodded.  "See?  Want to do this to him?"  He gave a harder rub across the small organ, making Jigen moan.  Jigen held up his left hand so Lupin lubed up the first finger.  "Slide it in, on the top there's a little nub."  Jigen did so, finding it easily enough.  He also went back to playing with the hard cock in front of him.  "Good boy, Jigen.  Should I go faster?"  He gave it another harder rub, making Jigen involuntarily move.  "Yeah, let's go faster."  He moved the finger faster, switching out with flicks and rubs and thrusting the finger a few times.  Jigen was moaning now, and he was all the way down on his own and liking it.  "So good," Lupin moaned.  Xander was whimpering in need.  "Let go if you want, Xander.  You can let go."

"Coming!" he warned.  Jigen pulled back some but Lupin got him again and he went back down, accepting it all. Xander panted, looking up at his husbands.  "Wow.  He's damn good at that."  His head flopped back onto the pillows.  "I'm gonna die now."

Jigen pulled off and licked his lips.  "Wow."

"You're very good at that, that's high praise from the Love God there," Lupin teased, smiling at him before stealing a kiss.  "Your first one too."  He pulled Jigen to a clear space. "I want you."

"What do you want?"

"What you were doing to Xander, only more.  I want what he had last night, Jigen."

"Lupin..."

"Just try. I can stick with fingers if you can't. I swear."

Jigen nodded, accepting the tube of slippery stuff.  He slid some out on his fingers. "How do you want to do this?"

"However is best for you, Jigen.  On my knees, on my back, on my side?"

"Back," he decided.  "I'd better get used ta looking at you two."  He looked down at the hole he could see.  "Where do I start?"

"Like you were doing to him, then slowly move up.  Just like I did to you."

"Yeah, but I was full with one."

"It'll take time to work your way up.  Some people never do.  We don't mind," he promised. He arched up into the invading finger.  "Yeah, like that, Jigen."  He wiggled some.  "Find the spot."  Jigen found it, making him hiss.   "Been a while since I did this," he panted.  "More?  Move up."  Jigen nodded, pulling out to slide in two fingers.  Lupin pushed up, panting harder.  "C'mon, you're more talented than that."  Jigen spanked him on the thigh.  "Ow!"

"Hush."  He moved to three fingers, slowly moving them so he could open the spot.  He hoped it was enough.  He wanted to watch himself sink into Lupin's body.  He pulled out and slicked himself up, then slowly slid inside, earning an 'oh, yeah' moan.  He pulled back, watching himself slide in again.  Lupin was liking this.  He looked up, Lupin looked like he wanted to be fucked to death, he was already panting and moaning.  Xander wasn't helping, he was only watching, so it was all him.  He slammed in, making Lupin swear and arch up, begging noises starting now.  He did it again, and again, and again, making Lupin writhe.  He adjusted the ankles over his shoulders, pulling his hips further off the bed.  Lupin babbled at that so he went back to plumbing his depths.  By the time he was done, Lupin wasn't going to be able to sit.  He knew he couldn't if he had something as big as him going this hard.  He slowed down but Lupin grabbed him and kissed him, making him slide back in all the way.  "What?"

"Harder, Jigen. I like harder. Ride me so hard I can't sit for a week.  Please?"

"If you're sure."  He dove in, slamming back into him.  Lupin arched up and came, shooting all over his chest.  "Wow."

"Very wow.  I don't usually do that to him," Xander said with a grin, stealing a kiss.  "You going to finish off in him?"

Jigen shrugged, slowly lowering Lupin to the bed.  "What're my options?"

"Kissing me and taking my ass.  Giving him a moment to recover and starting him off again.  Working yourself off over his come."  He stole another kiss.  "All up to you.  He's a great piece of real estate."

"Xander," Lupin moaned.

"What do you want, Xan?"

Xander grinned and pulled Jigen onto his back, stealing a kiss as he straddled him and moved down his hard cock.  "This," he moaned, slowly, ever so slowly riding him.  He teased himself, grinning down at Jigen as he worked himself.  He moaned and licked his lips, letting Jigen's finger in when he scooped up some of Lupin's come for him to lick off.  He moaned again and went faster, rolling his hips to get the right spot at the right time.

Jigen watched as Xander used his body as his personal pleasure toy, unable to do anything but watch.  Xander was magnificent.  He was hard, he was cut, he was sweaty and moaning his name.  Xander was speeding up again so he grabbed the tense hips, trying to slow him down.

"Put him onto his back or stomach," Lupin advised.

"No, wanna be on top!" Xander shouted.  He shivered as a finger came back to tease his open hole while he worked. "Lupin!"

"Shh, go on your stomach, Xander.  Get in that nice position on your stomach."  Xander let out another whimper and pulled off, moving to a position on his stomach, but with his rear raised.  Lupin stroked the firm globes, smiling at Jigen.  "There, try that."  Jigen shifted, getting behind him, and took what was now his.  He started out gently but he could hear the kitten noises.  So he went a bit harder, watching as Xander shivered and shifted his hips more open.  Jigen smirked at Lupin as he pushed apart the firm buttcheeks.  He could see himself better now.  Lupin propped Xander's hips on a pillow but Jigen shook his head.  So he added a second one, easing the angle a bit more.  That was better.  Xander was completely limp across the pillows.  He was open, begging him for more.  Just like Sylvia had a few times.  He plunged in, making him howl into the mattress.  "Is he okay?"

"That was pleasure, Jigen.  Do it again."  He did it again, watching as Xander's butt jiggled a bit and Xander shouted again.  He did it again, leaning down to get a bit deeper.  This was nice.  He could get to like this.  Lupin pushed him down a bit more and he felt the finger coming back.  "Shh, let me tempt you.  It'll make it better," he promised, whispering in his ear.  "I promise, no more than a finger's width up there."  Jigen nodded, leaning down again to let Lupin play.  He was going harder now. Xander was wiggling and whimpering under him, making him harder if it was possible.  He felt the warm tongue come up to play with his sack but ignored it.  It did feel good.  He felt his balls start to move but Lupin caught them and pulled them back down, making Jigen moan and shift his hips out more.  "Let me, Jigen," Lupin reminded him.  He went back to sucking on them while Jigen worked himself in and out of Xander's limp body, the finger still playing. Then he moved up, moving his fingers so his tongue could have that spot instead.

"Jesus fricken' God, Lupin!" he shouted.  He was enjoying it though.  He was lost.  He knew he was lost.  He was pounding into Xander's ass, Lupin was french kissing his hole.  He loved it.  He wanted more.  He needed more.  He came with a near-scream into Xander's body, then went limp across his back.  "Lupin," he moaned.  "More?"

"Sure, buddy.  Get off Xander, let him breathe, then I'll do whatever you want."  He got Jigen on his stomach, propped across those same pillows, and went back to work on his hole.  "When you want to try taking it, I'm so there," he whispered into it.  "You're so responsive.  I like that about you."  He dove in again, going back to tonguing him until Jigen started to get hard again.  He could feel it happening, he could see it happening.  He picked up his speed, knowing that Jigen was so sensitive that he could get off from this alone.  He felt himself be slid into and glanced back, smirking at Xander, who was winking at him.  He went back to what he had been doing, letting Xander pound into him.  It only made him more desperate for Jigen to get off.  He pulled the hips up further, diving in as deeply as he could, making Jigen shiver.  His hands were holding up his hips, his tongue was like some drill into him, and his cock was starting to turn red.  Lupin pulled back to pant, lowering his head as Xander cackled and sped up.  "Go, Xander, please," he pleaded, moving down to suck on Jigen's cock, not wanting to waste a drop.  Jigen flipped over, giving him better access, letting one of his hands go back to teasing his hole, this time with two fingers.  It was nice and slick, it was opening very nicely.  Lupin felt Xander pull out and glared at him.  "Dick tease."

"Not really."  Xander slid into bed next to Jigen, taking off the condom he had been using.  "How would you like to finish off, Jigen?"

"More," he ground out, clutching at Lupin's hair. "Please, more!"

"You can have him do what he's doing, or he's still needy.  It's up to you, Jigen.  Do you want him fully?"  Jigen arched up as Lupin hit that spot inside him again.  "All you have to do is say yes, and I'll get him the lube," he offered.  "If not, I'm going to take that this time."

"No, want him," he panted, arching up at the loss of contact.  Lupin was pushing inside him before he could protest.  "Damn!  Too much!"

"Shh," Xander whispered, stroking his stomach.  "Relax.  Push out.  Just relax.  It won't hurt for more than a second."  Lupin finally popped inside and Jigen gasped at the first thrust into his virgin body.  "Shh, relax.  It's going to get much better, Jigen, and you don't ever have to do it again if you don't want to."  Jigen nodded so Lupin pushed in deeper, going gently even though he was ready to come.  Xander moved down to lick and tease Jigen's cock, earning a moan.  He felt his own be touched.  "You can do whatever you want with it, Jigen.  Touch, suck, play with, whatever you want."  Jigen swallowed him and Xander smiled before doing the same, matching what Jigen was doing so he'd know what it felt like.  Lupin was slowly building up steam.  Jigen had to pull off to breathe, grabbing him like he was a lifeline as Lupin started off at a hard, fast ride.  It wasn't going to take long.  Jigen was ready to go now.  Lupin was still desperate.  Xander was happy sucking Jigen off while Lupin worked.  Lupin came with a shout, which made Jigen realize he was bare with him too.  He could feel the added wetness into his body.  He came from that odd, tickling feeling, flooding Xander's mouth.

Lupin pulled out slowly, smiling at the lack of anything but come on him.  He laid down on Jigen's right, looking at Xander.  "Mark him, Xander.  He's ours."  Xander stroked himself a few times and got off on his chest, then wrote their initials in it.  He took Jigen's left, snuggling up on him.  "So, Jigen, it's up to you.  Now that you know what it's like, you can choose to never do it again, or to do it as often as you want and we're able."

"Hush, sleep," he said, his voice rough sounding.  He dozed off, at least until Fujiko shouted, then he glared at the wall.  "Do you mind!  Some of us need to sleep!"

Fujiko shouted again and a third time, then it was silent from in there.

Xander grinned up at him.  "I love you for trying it out."

Jigen kissed him.  "Love you too, Xan.  I'm not doing anything else today though."

"Not an issue. I'm sore so I know you are.  We'll bathe later while the kids are at the doctors."  He nodded, closing his eyes again.

"Goemon!" Fujiko shouted again, this time her voice going up an octave or so.  "Oh!  Yes!  Yes!  Aahhhhhhh!"   Then more silence.

"Sounds like we're not the only ones who're having a honeymoon night," Lupin said quietly, making the others chuckle.  "Wonder if he's working on his new daughter."

"Probably," Jigen agreed.  "She's not on the pill."

"Twins next time," Xander said with a yawn.  "He deserves 'em."  He closed his eyes, falling asleep on Jigen's messy stomach.

"Then we could spoil them without having to have any more of our own," Lupin said dryly.

"And hand 'em back for the nasty stuff," Jigen agreed.

"I'm going to the eye doctors and those of us who were traumatized by all the noise the trio and the couple made are going to the doctor's then to lunch.  You've got four hours!  We'll expect you at dinner!" Melissa shouted, then the suite's door closed.

"Have to spank her later," Jigen said fondly, smirking at the ceiling.

***

"What do you mean I'm pregnant?  How can my virginal ass be pregnant?  My God Janus doesn't believe in immaculate conception!" Arsene complained.  "I haven't even touched a boy yet, I know I won't stop!"

"Calm down.  We can rerun the test," the nurse offered.  Arsene nodded, making her smile.  "Fine. We'll get new samples from the three of you and do it again.  Let's do this part first however.  That way you have time to make more urine."

"Sure, whatever, just get the bunny test done again."  She laid back on the table, letting the nurse get the doctor and tell her what was going on.  She went to the other girls and got new samples from them, marking each one with their first initial, then the tests.  She did them again, looking up when the girls walked in together.  "It'll be a few moments."

"That's fine," Arsene agreed.  "I know damn well I'm not pregnant."  She sat down, letting Melissa sit on her thigh and Lotus lean against her side.

The nurse checked the timer, then the tests, frowning.  "No, you're not, Arsene.  Neither are you, Melissa.  Lotus, I believe that we may have switched tests."

"I'm a virgin too!  I've never even kissed or groped a guy!"

"Her faith's not one of those that believes in immaculate conception either," Arsene said dryly.  She looked at Lotus.  "What else can make them go off?"

"Have you been taking steroids?"  Lotus shook her head.  "Have you come into contact with any sperm?  Any way at all?"

"No.  Ishi washes his hands.  Our parents weren't having sex until last night for the longest time.  We were in a school but I'm not one of those who touches a doorknob and then my genitals," Lotus said calmly.  "What's the other reason and can we do a different sort of test?"

"We can.  There's a blood test, Lotus.  We can send you over for that.  The other reason is a tumor or other growth being in there.  That can start off the same symptoms and fool your body occasionally."

"Then let's do my test, send me for the bloodwork today.  If we need to, we can do an ultrasound later."  The nurse nodded, taking her back to do her exam.

Lupin looked at Melissa.  "Are you wanting a damn big bunker when Uncle G hears?"  Melissa nodded, wincing a bit.  "You done?"

"Yeah, I'm done.  I'm on the patch, the same as you are.  We're both going on the patch that'll keep us from having it for four months at a time.  We're getting a year's supply, just in case."  Arsene grinned up at her.  "It's better I plan this too, before one of us gets lost in a job."  She got up and pulled Arsene with her, going to wait for Lotus to come out.  Melissa took their prescription, their bags with condoms, and left, letting Lotus stalk out.  "I'm sure it's curable," she offered as she walked behind her.

"Yeah, we know you're not one to naturally fail the bunny test," Lupin offered. "This has got to be some freak occurrence."  She got into the back, letting Melissa get shotgun this time. "Which hospital, 'Lis?"

"Hospital?" Ishi asked as he put up his book.  "What's wrong?"

"Odd test results, they want to do bloodwork," Melissa told him. She pointed up the street.  "That one."  He nodded, driving that way.  He parked and picked up his book again.  "It's gonna be a while, wanna come in with us?"

"If you want.  I don't have to listen to you guys complain about your exams, right?"  They shook their heads so he brought his book with him, turning on the security system once Lupin was out. "So, what funny test results?"

"Somehow I managed to flunk the pregnancy test without ever having come into contact with sperm," Lotus said grimly.  "That means either God moves in mysterious ways or there's a lump most likely."  Ishi gave her a hug.  "Thanks.  Can you tell daddy?"

"Sure," he offered, kissing her on the side of the head.  "You're a good little sister, I'll gladly shield you from dad."  He knew she wasn't pregnant.  He'd have known if she had so much as kissed a boy.  He followed them up to get checked into the lab, then sat down to read, letting Lotus snuggle up beside him.  He put an arm around her shoulders, comforting her.

***

Lupin walked back into the suite, noticing all the parents were dressed, awake, and doing things quietly on their own.  She cleared her throat.  "Lotus and 'Lis decided to start dinner early tonight with a sundae.  If you'd like to join us, we can do that."

"Why?" Lupin asked.  "Did something go wrong?"

"Well."  She closed the door and came in to sit on the arm of her mother's chair.  "Lotus failed the bunny test," the parents all gaped, "but it was an error.  Apparently it was a contaminated batch or something at the doctor's office.  So we went for blood work.  They did the blood bunny test three times.  All negative.  They did a quick ultrasound, just in case.  Negative.  So they're calming down at the moment with a sundae.  Lotus claims she's having dessert for dinner tonight.  I agree, it was kinda tense there for a few moments.  Especially when the nurse got them mixed up and said I was."  She grinned at her father, who moaned and grabbed his head.  "Like I said, it was the pee cups, they were contaminated with something.  That's why we got false negatives.  We're all on the patch.  We called Bix.  They're all at supper and Kenji is pouting because he can't have a sundae yet.  So let's go."  They got up and grabbed jackets, heading out with her.  The restaurant downstairs was very nice. The waiter led them right back to a private room.  "Thanks," she said, tipping him.  She walked in.  "I explained it.  They're in shock."

"Thanks," Lotus said, shrugging when her father hugged her.  "Not my fault. Thankfully."

"Hopefully we don't have to hear that phrase for a few years," Xander offered as he took his spot between Lupin and Jigen.  Then got moved by Jigen so he was only beside him, making him grin.  "Feeling possessive?"

"I figure I slept here last night, I can eat here today," he said smugly.

"Eww," Fujiko noted. "More than I needed to know."

"Hush," Ishi ordered.  "It's nice that they're back together again.  That way there's no more moping and no more random quotes on love floating around the house."

"The fact that there was enough noise coming from your room to make me want to find a boytoy for the night is an additional factor in that," Arsene said dryly, staring her down.  She blushed and looked away.  "Lotus, dear, do you know any soundproofing spells?"

"No, but I'm sure I can ask Marcus if he does," Xander said smartly.  "Behave.  So we're celebrating a false test?"  Everyone nodded.  "Good deal.  What're we eating?"

"I'm having a brownie after this," Lotus told him.  "Everyone else can decide on their own."

"It's understandable, daughter.  I would be eating ice cream as well," Goemon offered.

"That's fine, daddy.  When my new sister or twins comes along, I'll have ice cream with you," she offered.  He blushed and cleared his throat.  "You do need twins, daddy, it's tradition, look at the rest of the kids in the family."

"I want sissy Sarah," Fred pouted.

"You can see her in a few days," Jigen offered gently.  "We're going to Japan after this.  Lotus, did we remember your kimono?"

"No," she moaned, holding her head.  "Damn it.  I'll have to go back to get it."

"You could always get a new one," Melissa offered.  "I know the other's pretty and now an heirloom, but would you mind, Mom?"  He shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"Yeah, that's fine.  We can see whether or not the old guy's open tonight.  If not, we can get one in the city.  We're landing in Sapporo."  Everyone nodded at that.  "I'm sure they've got a shop there."

"Thanks, Mom," Lotus said, digging back into her ice cream.  "I'd order soon, before I have to have pie and a brownie."

Everyone opened their menus to see what they wanted.  It was a good suggestion.

***

Lotus looked up at the old man who Xander bought kimonos from locally, smiling at him.  "We forgot mine at home."

"Ah.  Why did you need one, young lady?"

"I'm being presented to the people who have helped teach me."

"Hmm. Then you're Lotus?"  She nodded.  "Where is Xander?  Usually I see him with you children."

"He had to run next door for some powder for Ishi.  The boys keep trying to spike it with silica powder.  So I need something special for a special ceremony in the woods."

"Interesting."  He went to the back, looking at all the ones he had.  He finally came to the front and showed her one.  "I have this one but it is birds," he offered.  "I do not have many tree and flower ones."

She shook her head.  "No, I don't like birds.  I don't even like doing flying moves in my chosen artform."  He chuckled at that.  "Sorry.  Nothing with hills even?"

"No, nothing with earth scenes either.  Which city are you landing in?"

"Sapporo."

"There is a small shop there.  I will call ahead for you; if they cannot find something they will check around and get it for you."  She nodded, bowing to him.  "Thank you for your understanding," he said, bowing back.

"Not an issue. These are like artwork, I don't expect you to carry everything."  She smiled and headed back to the car.  "All he had were birds."

"Probably not what you need," Xander agreed as he put the powder into the back seat.  "Let's go.  Is he calling someone?"

"Yeah, he said there's a store in Sapporo and we can get it there.  If they don't have something they can call around and find it."

"That's fine."  He pulled out.  "Watch the powder."  She nodded, turning and grabbing it to put in her lap.  Behind them lights went on.  "What the hell?" he muttered, pulling over.  It was too crowded to do a high speed chase and he wasn't going to endanger Lotus in this car.  He rolled down his windows.  "Yes, officer?"

"Sir, you were reported carrying a large block of white substance from a suspicious store."  He caught sight of it. "Step out of the car please?"  He stepped back so Xander could.

"It's the powder you put on swords after you sharpen them," he complained, taking it and handing it over as he got out.  "Here, check if it you want, just don't spill it all and don't put other stuff into it."

The cop sniffed it, then looked at him. "Are you sure that's what it is?"

"I didn't taste it or anything but it's supposed to be a talcum powder mix that we use after we sharpen our swords.  We dot it on with this little cloth ball."

"You use a sword, sir?"

"I do, she does, her brother does, her father does, another of her uncles does," he said tiredly, leaning against the back of the car.  "If they were drugs, I wouldn't have them.  I don't do drugs.  The kids don't do drugs.  We may drink on occasion but I haven't done drugs since the late nineties."

The cop looked at him again then went to radio for another officer, this one with a drug sniffing dog.  When he pulled up, he put it down and moved away, letting the other officer handle his dog to sniff it.  The dog didn't even twitch.  "Not drugs?"

"Not drugs."  He looked at it.  "Looks like powder."

"It's to put on our swords after we sharpen them," Lotus told him.  "As we explained to the first guy.  We don't use drugs.  Drugs are bad.  Drugs make you feel bad.  They give you a headache."

"How would you know?" Xander snorted.

"Someone slid their acid into the water tank so he wouldn't be caught by the range teacher.  We all got a bit off at dinner that night," she said dryly. "He was expelled after someone kicked his ass and made him beg."

"Ishi?"

"No, me."

"Cool.  Congrats."  He grinned at her.  "You're such a good samurai."

"Thanks, Mom, really."

The cop with the dog pulled his gun.  "Hold it."  They smirked at him, making his hand shake. "Who are you?  What is this really?"

"It's powder to sharpen our swords," Lotus told him.  "I do carry a sword, officer."  She smiled and hopped up onto the trunk. "As for who I am, my name is Lotus."  He swallowed.  "Lotus Goemon.  That's for me, my brother, the Fourteenth, and dad, the Thirteenth."  Xander snickered, shaking his head.  "You, behave, mom."

"Sure, Lotus."  He grinned at them.  "As for me, I'm Lavelle."  The guy without the dog passed out.  The other's hand was shaking so hard he couldn't possibly do more than hurt himself or his dog with the gun.  "Put it down, before you hurt your friend there," he said, nodding at the dog.  "We're heading out of town in the morning."  The cop backed up, opening the door and whistling.  The dog jumped in and he closed the door.  "Dude, I don't hurt dogs.  I like dogs.  They're nice creatures.  Very friendly.  Now, get your buddy into his car, you get into yours.  Give us back our powder, and we can forget this ever happened."  The cop nodded, nudging the powder over with a foot.  "Thanks."  He grabbed it then got back in, waiting for Lotus to close her door before taking off again.  "Sometimes, that's really amusing."

"It was," she agreed happily.  She used the carphone to dial Melissa's cellphone.  "We just got stopped for having talcum powder. The guy with the dog nearly wet himself and the other guy passed out."  She chuckled. "Yeah, we're on our way back.  Nope, couldn't find one.  Sure thing, brat.  Meet you there."  She hung up.  "Head for the airport."  He nodded, heading out that way.

***

In the room, Melissa burst out in giggles, nudging Arsene with her elbow then making 'flying' motions with her hand.  Arsene nodded and contacted their pilot.  "Why?" she laughed.  "Never mind.  Did you find something?  Sure.  Meet us at the airport."  She hung up.  "They got stopped for having talcum powder.  We should probably leave."  They all nodded, going to pack and head out.

"Did she find something?" Goemon asked as he walked out after them.

"Nope," Melissa told him.  "I'm assuming he's calling someone there and we'll have to check in there.  Since we're going to be a day early we'll have the time."  She got into the passenger side of the car she chose, letting Arsene drive this time.  That meant that Arsene had to get out to let Ishi into the back seat along with Goemon.  She was back on her laptop, expanding their reservations by an extra day.  She got a confirmation back from the hotel and sent back a 'thank you' as they got to the airport.  Their plane was ready and waiting for them, everything but the pilot.  "Could we not find Cecilia?"

"She's off today.  I called her, she said she'd meet us in Japan.  It's her sister's wedding," she reminded everyone as they piled on.  "I call it."

"I got it," Jigen offered.

"Who's got the most experience?" Xander asked as he loaded himself.

"I do," Ishi admitted.  "Arsene second."

"Then I'll fly with you and she can be our com guy," Jigen offered, heading up front.  He waited until Lupin had yelled that everyone was on, since Bix and the kids were staying in town for a few days, then started the engines.  Ishi reached over to cut them off with a groan.  "What?  Problems?"

"Person, standing right under the wing," he noted, looking at the camera.  "We've got company."

"Fuck me," Melissa complained, opening the door so she could lean out and shoot the person.  "Who're you?"

"Who're you?"

"The owner of the Goddamn plane.  Now, the question stands?"

"I'm here to arrest you."

"Yay."  She pulled her gun and shot him in the thigh, making him fall down howling in pain.  "There, I feel better now.  Clear!"  A runway worker ran off so she closed the door again, sealing it shut and going back to her seat.  "That makes three. Think he's gotten the point yet, Ar?"

"No. It's still overeager puppies.  We'll need the big mutt."  She opened her book and flipped on the light as the engines started again, and this time they taxi'd off.

***

Lotus walked out among her teachers, bowing to one of them, smiling slightly.  "Am I ready?"

"Are you?"

Lotus shrugged. "I feel so."

"Then you are ready."  She walked the girl out into the circle the others had formed, leaving her there.  "This is Lotus.  She asks for admission."

"She is not pure."

"Not totally, but then again I am a member of my clan," Lotus offered.

"The power is strong, but the line is not clear."

"Bloodlines tell but not always the whole story."  Lotus looked at the one who spoke.  "Let's just go on the assumption that I've been over this already, okay?  I have PMS.  I don't feel good.  I was haunted all night by another incubus."

"Yes, the power tells the story.  She is a fighter for us, even though she walks the fine line," the person who had brought her out noted.  "As for the incubus, after this they should either go wild or calm down completely."

"I'm learning how to banish them."

"Let the tainted one do so."

"I'm not always in Lavelle's presence.  School's like that.  I'd rather learn on my own."

"Very well.  Learn you shall, Lotus Goemon.  Learn you shall," one of the witches said calmly.  Two younger girls brought out a book and handed it to Lotus.  "In that is what you are to study and learn.  Even though you walk a dark path, there is much you can do for the light."

"As Lavelle says, sometimes the light needs a Dark Knight."

"True, it does," her sponsor agreed gently. "Are you offering yourself as one?"

"I do the job, why not."

"Good point."  She smiled at her. "Then you shall learn.  Not always with your group.  Not always with yourself.  Not always with the demons and not always alone.  Is she accepted in that position?"  The other women made assenting noises.  "Very well then.  Would you pray with us, Lotus?"

"If you so desire."  She walked off with them.  "Would it help if I got a marking like what Lavelle has?"

"It could but others would be quite upset with you for it," she offered.  "It's best to wait and see if it is necessary.  Tattoos are forever you know."

"Good point."  They got the point where the bonfire had been built and sat down around it to pray silently. Lotus felt something brush her cheek and grabbed it before it could move, startling the kitsune standing there.  "Hello, Kori.  Would you like to sit and pray with us?"

"No.  He say I come see you now."  He sat down, resting against her side, smiling up at her.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Shh.  We'll talk in a bit," she promised.  He nodded, curling up trustingly against her side.  Lotus finished her prayer and looked at the book, reading the words on the cover.  She opened it to the first page to read, closing it when someone cleared their throat.

"I see we have grown by a tailed one, a male tailed one," one of the older woman said, smiling at the child.  "Do you have a name, child?"

"He's Kori.  He's been around my family for years.  He's one of Sarah's friends."  She stroked over his fur.  "He was sent to see me."

"Very well.  As long as he can stay quiet, Lotus."  She nodded, so she looked at the fox spirit.  "Can you stay quiet, Kori?"  He nodded, grinning at her.  "Thank you, young one."  She raised her arms.  "Tonight we greet a new sister, one who is a Knight!"  The other women cheered.  "Tonight we bring a new one across!  Let her be among us and one of us!"  They cheered again.  "Goddess praise this one for her work in your name!"  That got a third cheer, then the group broke up.  The older woman walked over to where Lotus was sitting, pulling her up.  "Dust off, dear, that's very pretty to be dirty."

Lotus dusted herself off.  "Thank you."

"You are welcome.  Take the book and the baby and go back to your family.  They will tell you how best to merge the two worlds.  You have two uncles who do already."  She handed over the book, watching as Lotus wrapped it in her sash.  The kimono was taken off and folded around the book, Lotus was wearing a pair of leather pants and a silk top underneath.  They ran for the others, heading into the dark woods, merging with them.  "Yes, you will make a good knight, Lotus Goemon.  May you have the strength you need."

Lotus got to the others, smiling at them as Kori plowed into Xander to hug him.  "I'm done.  I need to ask about certain markings."

"If you do so, then you would never be allowed back on our plane again," the Lord of the Kistune said behind her.  "I hope you will make a distinction?"

"Of course."  She punched him on the arm.  "Bastard."

He smirked at her.  "Thank you, Lotus.  It's traditional to eat."

"Food?" Kori asked, his ears perking up and his tail waving.  "We can eat?"

"Yes, we can eat," Goemon said patiently.  "The training camp is nearby."

"We need to reblindfold the cops," Arsene said patiently.

"No need," Lotus pointed out.  "We don't live there.  They'll never find it again.  Even Dad gets lost on his way up to it sometimes.  Even with the wolf they couldn't find their way back."   Goemon snorted but he nodded to show that was fine with him.  "C'mon, let's go."

"Race you!" Kori shouted, taking off.

"No fair, you run faster than the wind," Lotus shouted, taking off after him.  She knew there were other things in this forest and they would be coming for the small fox spirit.  He was still an innocent.  She heard a scream and paused to see which direction it came from, then took off after the baby kitsune again, her sword coming free easily.  She saw the demon.  The demon saw her.  The demon saw her sword.  The demon saw her sword as it took its head off and sliced it into ribbons.

Kori saw the sword and all he could say was, "ooooooohhhhhhhh."

Lotus panted and hugged the baby to her.  "You okay?"

"I fine. You killed it. It try to eat me and you killed it."

"That's what I do, Kori."  She kissed him on the head.  "Okay, let's wait right here for the others, then we can run the rest of the way home, okay?"  He nodded, resting against her chest. "Don't get too used to those, they're being cut down to normal people size soon."

"Why?  They comfy and smooshy and comfy.  You feel like a mommy fox."

"Thank you, but I'm not ready to be a mommy yet.  Nor a fox."  They shared a grin as Goemon came up to where they were. "It's dead.  Anything else ran off."

"Fine.  Continue on to the camp," he agreed, looking at the beast.  He almost wondered what it had been but decided that it was better off dead anyway.  The others caught up, Jigen with her robe and book in the bag he carried. "It's dead.  She got it."

"Good," Xander agreed, pulling out his lighter to light the remains on fire.  "This thing will regroup and recover if you don't."  He walked on once it was burning brightly, heading after the kids.  "I'll work on the demon classifications with her tomorrow, Goemon."

"Fine, Xander.  Please include Marcus."

"Of course."  He jogged after the other two, going to protect them.

Goemon shook his head, but hugged his son instead.  "It is fine.  She will come and go as I have for years."

"Yes, but I'm still there," he said with a smirk.  "So, I hear a lot of noise, father.  Does it have a purpose beyond robbing us of our sleep?"  His father blushed.  "Ah, you miss having a cuddlesome little bundle of fluff.  You could adopt Kori."

"Son," he warned, frowning at him.  "Some day you will find that you are taken with someone and that they are your world and must be given everything.  At that time, I will not laugh, only remind you of this conversation."

"Father, if I do decide to date for real, which I have no intention of doing for years yet, I will pick a woman who will gladly wait at home for me while having a son.   I will not marry one I work with.  Nor will I marry one like my sister."

"Did you know that the incubus who bothered her the night of the party said he'd become you or your dad if she wanted?" Jigen taunted.  "That alone made her banish it."

"I'd have ripped it to shreds if it had offered me something like that. My sister is pretty, but she is annoying.  She is also a smartass and a pain in my ass.  Besides, that would be as nasty as me marrying Melissa or Arsene."  He shuddered at the very thought. "I'll find a traditional wife who wants nothing more than to have a son and for me to go away again.  I find those are the best and you get the most of out of it on both sides.  I'll have sex whenever she allows me to, and then I'll go on jobs, which she'll be happy about."

"Son, you're being a smartass and dumb," Goemon assured him.  "Women are not like that.  Trust me."

"Father, I've had two women like that offered to me.  Speaking of which, why would the Fuma's daughter come onto me and then say I was forbidden but cute because of that?"

"Old clan war, my son.  Do not touch that temptation.  Their women are deadly and like being so."

"Hmm.  Melissa came in and kissed me, which drove her off crying.  I was thankful for it at the time."

"Son, I do not wish to see such interactions.  That is an image that will haunt my dreams for hours.  You and one of those two together and the thought of grandchildren."

"Ick, father."

"I agree, ick, Daddy Goemon," Lupin said dryly.  "If he and Arsene get together and have kids, I'm sending them to live with you."

"Fat chance," Goemon said dryly.  "Those children would be nearly demonic."

"Oh, I don't know," Melissa said dryly, smirking at Arsene, who was giggling madly.  "Her brains, his beauty, and his skills?  Sorry, Ar, but he is prettier."

"Especially in the leather pants," she agreed happily.  "Whaddya say, Ishi, wanna help me on my sixteenth?"

"I will be running for my life when you've done that," he noted.  "Far, far away from your family when the parents hear about it."

"Oh, come on, I'll be *nice* to him."

"Arsene, enough, before the rest of us can't eat," Lupin said bitterly.  "And no sex for another year."

"That wasn't the rule, daddy."

"Damn," he muttered, walking on.  "Hey, go live with Vecchio.  He'd appreciate such a strong, talented young woman."

"If she does, I'm killing you," Vecchio called back.  "Even though she did get that assassin in the nuts for me.   I'd kill her before she could open her mouth again."

"Fine," she pouted. "Who's next that they're going to try?  I ask to see if I need to devise something sneaky and mean.  We've just shot the last two."

"We noticed.  Thank you for leaving them alive, girls."

"Welcome," Melissa offered. "The sedative one was Ishi though."

"He was staring at my sister's chest, of course I shot him.  He's not fit to touch her hem, much less her breasts," he complained.  "Who is this mutt you actually want, Arsene?"

"You'd like him," she offered.  "I've got the file on my laptop.  I'll hand it over later."

"Sure."  He leaned against his father's side.  "How many more do you think?"

"The betting pool from Paris's don says another three at most," Jigen offered.  "It's up to about a million at the moment."

"We wrote the guy's name on his windshield. Can he not read?" Melissa asked dryly.  "I mean, seriously. We wrote it in fuschia colored paint."

"I like his house, it's cute," Lupin offered, grinning back at their kids.  "How many more dots does he get?"

"He gets more dots each time they send another idiot.  I'm going to have to start doing smaller ones soon.  I'm running out of room."

"I'm sure it'll be fine, girls," Jigen offered.  "Give him some more time to stew.  After all, it's amusing to the rest of us."  He lit a cigarette and took a deep breath.  "There, I feel better now."

"That's good," Lupin agreed, grinning at him.  "Hey, Goemon, where are we sleeping tonight?"

"The barn.  That way you don't keep us all up," Ishi noted sarcastically.  "Mom's loud.  Buy the poor guy a gag."

Jigen snorted.  "He's been louder in the past.  Trust me."

"He about deafened me a few times," Lupin agreed.  "Goemon?"

"The back bedroom would be fine. It's got a larger mat.  We'll take the wife's room," he told him.  "Then the children can get the other hall since you won't be keeping us up."

"If you have another boy, I liked that one guy's name," Arsene offered.  "Suoh.  It means dragon."

"I think he's hoping for a little girl," Melissa reminded her.  "Something little and cuddly for the boys to torture and love on."

"I've always liked the name Aiko for a girl," Ishi offered.  "It means little loved one.  That would fit."

"Kaida, little dragon," Arsene offered.  "Because her sister is one, her daddy is one, her brothers are all dragons..."  She smirked at him.  "Speaking of which, the next time you spit fire at me, do it after I have coffee or I'll slug you one."

"Sure, Lupin."

"I like Kimi," Melissa offered.  "I think it means she who is without equal or something like that."

"I like Sachi," Jigen offered.  "Girl child of bliss."

"Toki, time of opportunity?" Lupin suggested with a grin for Jigen.

"Yachi, it means eight thousand, because there's so many of us already," Fujiko complained.  Goemon looked back at her, raising an eyebrow.  "I don't mind the thought of another one, but I'm not letting those ones name it."

"I like those suggestions," Goemon offered gently, pulling her closer to hold.  His son moved but he would talk to him later.  They came to the camp and let the children jog ahead.  "Inspectors, would you care to dine with us tonight?"

"Sure, I'm hungry," Ray Kowalski said with a grin. "As long as we don't have to eat Ramen."

"No, no Pop's food," Jigen assured him.  "Goemon can cook, Lupin can cook."

"Vecchio can cook," Ray said dryly.

"Yeah, but you're a guest, you don't have to cook," Lupin promised.  He opened the back door.  "Whatever you're doing, stop it.  We're back."  They walked inside and Xander walked Lotus out of the back room.  "What were you three doing?"

"We were teaching Kori how to play the game with the sticks," Lotus told him.  "I'll start learning how to do what Mom does tomorrow.  I deserve one night off this holiday season."

"Yes, you do," Goemon agreed, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  "Come help me cook.  It's time you learned this art as well.  Before you starve to death on fast food."  She sighed but followed him to the kitchen.

Xander walked in there and clapped three times, and food appeared.  "Courtesy of Kori's uncle," he said with a smirk.  "Now no one has to cook."

"We promised Ray no ramen."

"And there's not any."  Xander tipped his head up.  "Food from the kitsune!"  Everyone rushed in to grab a seat or a pillow.  Xander grinned at Lotus.  "You never told me, what did you want for the holidays?"

"Sanity."

"Can't give you that," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I can give you neat weapons, nifty stuff to help you be one of the few female samurai, or even driving lessons so you too can drive."

"Uncle Jigen gives driving lessons, not you, mom," Arsene said firmly.  "I agree, Lotus, what did you want for your Solstice gift?"

"Stuff?  I don't know!  I'm not picky."

"Yes, but we want to avoid another incident like when you were seven and we got you books and you glared at us for weeks, dear," Lupin said with a smirk.  "Clothes?"

"Clothes are nice.  Gift certificates?" she suggested.  She shrugged.  "It happens but I don't have a clue."

"Fine, we'll get you gift certificates.  That way you can get that one dress cleaned and so you can get other stuff you'll want," Jigen promised.  "Eat."  Everyone dug in, stealing food shamelessly from each other's plates.  All but the cops.  Ray grinned and took one roll from Xander's plate, earning a grin for it.  "We like you anyway, Kowalski."

"Thanks.  Think Bix would like us to get a puppy?" Ray asked.

"Great, just when we finally get rid of all the wolf hair, now we'll have a dog," Ray Vecchio sighed.  He shook his head.  "How long before I have to find a roommate?"

"Maybe another couple of years," Ray admitted.  "You could come with us though.  We love you."  He smirked at him.  "You are more than welcome to live with us, Vecchio.  We won't even make you cook all the time."

"Bix is a great cook," Arsene offered. "She's good in a few different nationalities of food.  She's the other one who makes us eat *real* food now and then."

"I do too," Lupin defended.

"Not you," Melissa said dryly.  "It's Mom who can live on fast food forever and not get sick.  Trust me, training with him was a lot like an endurance test

"I sent you guys out with money, you guys decided you wanted fast food.  Your own fault, kids," Xander said smugly, taking a bite of his dinner.  "You know, this summer we should use the ship.  We can safely plan on it without threat of listening bodies, we can tan, swim, and other stuff, and it'd keep the girls away from the boys."

"I like that idea," Lupin agreed happily.  "Jigen?"

"Not to butt in or anything, but the ship's mine," Arsene noted dryly, smirking at the adults.  "But you can use it."

"There's no chance we're leaving you alone in the house ever again," Xander said, smirking at her.  "No way in hell.  We'd come back to future grandchildren."  She rolled her eyes and sighed.  "You would.  You know you would."

"While I might...entertain, I do know my precautions and how to be careful, people.  I'm still on the patch.  I like condoms, they're great inventions of the twentieth century.  I plan on going through a case or so in the next ten years.  But I'm not that indiscriminate."

Lupin looked at his daughter.  "Thou shalt not hire a male hooker and bring him home.  Grandfather wouldn't let me bring mine in, you can't bring yours."

"Fine," she sighed.  "I can always go to them."

"That defeats the rules saying we have to have sex at home so the parents are sure we're not being loose and are using condoms," Lotus noted.  Everyone stared at her.  "Those were the rules that were set down with the age limit."  Everyone stared at Xander.

"I was trying to make sure they weren't going to end up loose little creatures who slept around like I did, and that they used condoms.  No other reason."

"So, stealing a cruise ship?" Jigen asked Lupin.

"Sounds ideal," Lupin agreed.  "We'll need a crew as well."

"Let me check with a few people," Xander offered.

"Oh, really?" Lupin asked, grinning at him.  "For how long?"

"I saw the kids and I got boat envy, sorry," he teased.  "That's why I sold the other boat.  Plus, mine was fully renovated and everything.  Do you know how expensive those things are to get and to renovate?  It's almost as bad as buying a new one.  Well, maybe it was a tenth," he admitted after a moment's thought.

"How much are new ones?"

"The one I looked at, which was top of the line in the size I wanted, was about 450 million.  The older one I bought at auction was about thirty plus renovations."  They all shuddered.  "Yeah, I had to work my ass off for that one," he sighed.  "But it's nice."

"Is it running as a cruise ship?" Lupin asked.

"It's presently running for weddings in the Bay area," he said with a small smirk.  I'll have to check the bookings this summer.  That's who I need to check with."

"You bought your own because we did?" Melissa asked.  Xander nodded.  "Is it as nice as ours once Arsene got it refinished?"

"Yeah, and prettier even.  It's also a bit larger.  There's another one coming up but that would tie up about all my assets to buy it."

"We could put some of the cars on there," Lupin said thoughtfully.  "Is it making good money?"  Xander wiggled his hand in the air.  "Willing to give up that good of money?"

"Sure," he admitted.

"Why was your so much?  Ours was only six," Arsene asked.  "I brokered the deal myself."

"Mine has a helicopter and it was excellent condition.  It was also a tax sale."  She nodded, knowing what those were.  "If I had went for the other one that was up, it would have been less, but smaller."

"Mom, are you sure you did that in *this* timeline?" Melissa asked.  "I don't remember seeing anything about a ship."

"It's run by the same people who run the restaurant."  He pulled out his cell so he could call Murami.  "Hey, it's me.  You busy?"  He grinned.  "Sorry.  I can call back.  No, just a quick thing.  I do have a cruise ship with the restaurant right?"  He grinned.  "Thanks.  No, Lupin wants to take it around this summer to keep the girls away from boys.  Love you, have a happy event."  He hung up.  "Yes, I do, she let out this very patient sigh when she remembered the fit she threw after I bought it.  She said she'd call someone tomorrow about the bookings on it."

"Fine," Lupin agreed happily.

"We need to go over those records in detail, don't we?" Melissa asked tolerantly.  He beamed and nodded. "Fine, after the cops leave."

"We're not allowed to chase any of you anyway," Vecchio reminded them. "Zenigata won't want to hear about that, he'll start to cry again."

"He's still having visions of sharks," Ray agreed.

"Sharks?" Lotus inquired.

"Long story, don't ask," Jigen offered.   She nodded, that was fine with her.

"Poor Pops keeps ending up in the water, it's a good thing he knows how to swim," Lupin pointed out to the rest of them.  "That job, after the island a few times, it's like every sixth job or so he ends up soaking wet."

"At least he makes sure he gets a bath that way," Goemon offered.  "I'm surprised he didn't end up in the water when we did that one with the dragon," he said mildly.  His son hugged his arm.  "Thank you, son."  He kissed Kenji on the top of the head.  "Eat please."

"Yes, daddy."

"You're a good father, Goemon," Vecchio said quietly.  "Hopefully you'll be able to give Stan some pointers on how to do it when the time comes."

"Bix is an experienced nanny, she should not need any, but I will gladly share wisdom I gained from my own children.  Remember, the sole purpose in a father's life is to be peed on by his son. It brings enlightenment about your place in the universe."

Xander giggled, and so did Ishi.  "You are so bad," Ishi said, shaking his head.

"It's the truth, I felt the same way when Fred did it to me," Lupin agreed.

"Daughters elevate your position in the universe," Jigen offered smugly.  "They can't aim for your hat or your hair."

"Oh, I don't know about that.  Alex managed it a few times," Xander reminded him with a grin.

"Alex is not the usual girl child," Lupin said gently.  "She's a little monster when it comes to it, and was when she had the colic.  Other than that, she's very sweet and nice, but she can turn into a wolf in a moment's notice, Xander."

"She is also destined to be the bearer of one of the chokers," Goemon pointed out.  Xander nodded, looking sad at that.  "Hopefully after her first child."

"Hopefully," he agreed sadly.

"Guys, happier discussions," Ray ordered.  "Raycon, Xander?"

Xander beamed at him.  "A tease, I know, but cute.  And it fits."

"It does, but still!"  He shook his head.  "You're odd."

"Yeah, and?" he taunted back, smirking at him.  "I could be worse.  I used to be worse."   Ray shivered and nodded.  "See?  I'm better now," he purred.

"In many ways," Goemon said dryly.  "Eat.  Do not dishonor this happy time with chatter."

"Fine, daddy."  He dug back in, stealing from Arsene's plate, making her frown at him.  "You stole mine, it's only fair."

"Meany.  Stealing food from a starving child."

"Bet me," Jigen countered.  "You've barely touched anything."  She dug in, eating faster before anyone else could steal her food.  Her father did manage to get a shrimp away from her but that was it.  She got him with her chopstick, then licked it off before going back to inhaling her food.

"Were you bitten?" Xander asked dryly.

"Sorry, I'm a bit anemic at the moment. Blame it on girl problems," she shot back.

"Those things always leave a mark," he muttered.  Lotus looked at him.  "Wanna find out how to find them?"  She grinned and nodded, hurrying up so they could take Arsene back into a back room and examine her.

"Get off me!" she shrieked.  "I'll gut you!"

Lotus came out a few minutes later.  "Two bite marks," she noted as she sat down.  "One human, one not human.  The fangs are being bathed at the moment and he's asking her if she remembers anything.  Apparently someone needed a snack."

"Xander, which suicidal vampire bit my daughter?" Lupin yelled.

"Spike."

"Again?"

"Again."  He came out with Arsene, who sat down and pouted.  "It was only a small one.  I'll call Ethan to warn him and Marcus that he's back, then deal with him once the kids are back in school."  Everyone nodded, that seemed reasonable.

"I still say that was unnecessary," Lupin pouted.  "It's not like I'd let some undead freak nibble anything under my shirt."

"If you didn't invite him over to nibble you, you probably couldn't have controlled him anyway," Ishi noted calmly.  "When?"

"The last time she was in London."

"So, about five days ago?" Melissa asked.  Everyone stared at their children.  "What?  We made a pitstop on the way to Paris.  We told you we were getting out early."

"No more without warning us," Lupin ordered calmly.

"Get anything?" Jigen asked.

"No, we were casing and doing plans," Lotus admitted.  "Someone wanted Melissa to tell them how to get inside the Natural History museum."

"Do you get paid for those?" Jigen asked.  She nodded.  "Well?"

"Ten grand each.  That's my current firm price.  Unless it's for a damn good cause, like returning stolen artwork or stolen people."  She scratched the back of her neck.  "Where would he have gotten her?"

"Inside the museum," Xander said dryly.  "It's dark in there, he likes it."  She nodded at that wisdom.  "Eat, guys.  Arsene, eat more meat, you'll want it soon."  She nodded, pulling over the beef.  Goemon handed over his too, making her grin at him.

"Were you ever bitten?" Kenji asked.  He had snuck out a while ago and was sitting quietly so no one was upset about him being there.

"No, son, I was not," Goemon promised.

"What about you, mommy?" Kenji asked Xander.

"Six or seven times, that's how I know that they bruise."  Xander grinned at him.  "When you're older, I'll teach you how to slay vampires, okay?"  He nodded, grinning at that.  "Good boy, Kenji.  Aren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"I not sleepy, Yu wake me up again."  He wiggled into his father's side, grinning up at him.  "I get cuddles?"

"If you'd like," he promised, giving him a pat then leaving the arm around him.  His son beamed and settled in to watch the adults.  Within moments he was asleep.

"Want me to put him back in bed?" Fujiko asked quietly.

"No, I'll do so in a moment.  It is nice to be held."  He smiled at her.  "You could check on the others if you wanted."  She nodded, getting up to do so.  "Twins?" he asked Xander once she was out of hearing.

He nodded.  "You need twins.  I had how many sets?" he said with a grin for him.  "Maybe one of each?"

"Two girls so he doesn't have to worry about finding them swords," Jigen countered.  Goemon smirked at that.  "So, are we on for cruising this summer?"  Everyone nodded.  "Good.  I need to find some new trunks."

"And some shorts," Lupin teased.  "Even though you have bony knees."

"Which ocean will we be on?" Lotus asked.

"Pacific," everyone decided after looking at each other.

***

Ray Kowalski woke up with a moan in his hotel room bed, pushing himself up until he was sitting.  "I had the worst dream about cruise ships. Must have been the chinese food last night," he complained, holding his stomach.  It was empty and ready to eat him.  He looked around, finding Vecchio in the bathroom by the sounds in there.  He got out of bed and stretched, then shook his head.  Cruise ships?  Why?  Must have been a Lupin the Fourth nightmare again.  Something about that rescue.  He tapped on the door, walking in at the grunt.  "Do you wonder which port they went to since we never caught up with them?" he asked, moving to the toilet room.

"No."  Ray looked at him. "You okay? You look miserable."

"I am, I'm starved.  Let's try to find something more filling than noodles and meat today, 'kay?"  He closed the door on the small closet area with the toilet to us it.  "I had odd dreams about cruise ships last night.  Must have been a holdover nightmare from that rescue."

"I had one about Arsene being bitten by a vampire," Vecchio said with a small shrug, going back to shaving.

"Yeah, that's just what we need, Vecchio, an undead, vampire, Lupin.  Then we'd never catch that group."  He came out after flushing and checked the shower.  "Yours?"  He nodded.  "Can I barge in?"

"Go for it, leave me some hot water."  Ray stripped down and climbed in, making his partner shake his head.  That kid was just odd.  Cruise ships?

Cruisin'.

"I gotta ask," Jigen said as the plane landed.  "Even for all of us, a cruise ship seems a bit much."  Xander's smirk told him that he had at least thought of that already.  "Did you redecorate?"

"Reconfigured actually. There's one whole level that we left alone, the same suites that were there are still there.  Everything else has been changed around.  The kids have their own suite.  We've got our own suite.  It's actually a two-level suite, I had them change it so there's a spiral staircase between two floors and had them join a few suites into separate bedrooms.  I left most everything else alone, though I did update the medical facilities.  Each time the ship goes out, it goes with at least a nurse on board, along with the party planner, the chef, the wait staff, and all of them.  Fortunately, the two booked parties this summer are a wedding without an overnight stay, or else we'd have to move, and a party for a local group that's showing off a new donation.  They wanted somewhere different this time.  So we're going out to this small island then coming back into port.  I figure those days, we can make ourselves scarce."

Jigen nodded. "I can see that happening.  By then the kids'll wanna do some shopping anyway."  He stretched as they neared the gate, standing up to grab his things.

"You know better, Uncle Jigen," Arsene chided.  "Naughty you."

"Oh, hush.  Where is your pilot anyway?  Last time it was a wedding.  What is it this time?"

"Food poisoning made her fall off her balcony and break her legs," Melissa said dryly.  "We're looking into a temporary replacement."  Once the stewardess signaled that they could get up, she grabbed her laptop case and carry-on, plus her jacket, and headed for the door. She hated being enclosed in such tiny places with so many people.  They got off and found a driver waiting on them, which made everyone stare at Xander in shock.

"Jacques," he said happily, hugging the man.  "I had no idea you were back, mon ami."

"Eh, it is the life, non?"  He smiled at them.  "I see you have finally brought someone worthy to party with you.  Are you going to the restaurant tonight?"

"Probably.  We're waiting to load supplies last I heard.  Guys, this is Jacques, his brother is my head chef, Jacques has the cushy and easy job."  Everyone waved.  "Into the limo.  We'll go to the ship, get settled in, go out for dinner and any last minute shopping for the girls, then back to the ship and off tomorrow."  Everyone followed him, Lupin getting a trolley for the baggage.  They made a quick stop for the things that had been checked, then headed off again.  Outside was a beautiful midnight blue limo.

Jacques hurried to open the trunk and the back door, smiling and tipping his hat at the ladies of the group.  "They are beautiful, Xander.  How do you stand it?"

"A few of them are my kids, one's the nanny and she's engaged to one of my buddies, and the other's the samurai's wife."  He winked as he got in.  "Whenever you're ready, my man."

"Of course."  He closed the door and went around, getting in to drive.  "Any particular radio station?"

"Something classic rock," Xander called.  One was put on.  "Thanks, man."  He grinned at Lupin.  "Hi."

"We're going to be talking about this later, Xander.  I never knew you had this either."  Xander just beamed at him.  "Fine.  I'd expect this sort of thing from you."  He squeezed his hand.  "Is this okay?"

"Just fine.  Hey, Jacques, don't crash or anything but I'm with two guys now.  That bother you?"

"Non.  With your appetites I would expect many more than just two.  Should I put up the window?"

"Only if you feel like it," he said with a shrug, getting a laugh and the window going up.  "See, not an issue."  He stole kisses from each of them.  "Hi, Jigen."

"Hi, Xander."  He put an arm around his shoulders.  "Do you do many gay weddings on the thing?"

"Often.  We advertised in the gay yellow pages first, and then the news spread to straight couples.  We've done a lot of marriages on the decks, and inside.  That's the beauty of a cruise ship, even if it rains, there's always room."  The kids snickered at that.  "Aren't the renovations done on yours yet, Ar?"

"Not yet, Mom.  They had them done and then we sprung a leak.  So now they're fixing the leak and the stuff that got messed up."

"That's fine."  He ruffled her hair.  "Gelled again?"

"Had to.  It wouldn't do anything this morning."  She looked out the window, never having really seen this city before.  "It's a beautiful city."

"I thought about retiring here," he admitted.  "It is very pretty.  I could live on the ship and not pay taxes too."  The others laughed.  "You think I'm kidding?  It was registered in Lebanon.  Less taxes."  They all nodded.  "So, are we excited?"

"Very.  We haven't been on a real cruise in a while," Fujiko offered.  She looked at the kids, then at Bix.  "Do you get sea sick?"  She nodded, grimacing.  "There's things to help that."

"The infirmary is stocked with a case of it, Bix.  Don't worry about it.  Unless we hit really rough seas, there's not going to be a problem."  She nodded, smiling at him for that thoughtfulness.  "Also, if you absolutely must, I can always lure Ray to a port of call," he said with a wink.  She blushed and shook her head, ducking it down some.

"It's okay, you deserve a few nights off, you put up with us," Melissa reminded her.  "That alone makes you a saint."  She looked out the back window.  "That's pretty cool, that pointy building."

Lupin looked back and nodded.  "It is.  On the way back, we'll stop to sightsee."  They grinned at him.

"Plus we'll have two days when we'll have to be back here, and we'll be off the ship those days," he reminded them.  "We might as well stay off overnight on one of them."  The limo continued on, stopping down by a deserted part of the docks.  "Here we be."  He opened the door and stepped out, helping out each of the girls and Bix, letting Goemon handle his own wife since he had gotten out after Bix.  He smiled at his captain, who waved.  "We doing good on supplies?"

"The rest will be in by tonight," he called down.  "Welcome aboard, sir!" he said, saluting him.  "We'll be ready to be underway by midnight."

"Good job, my man."  He clapped him on the arm.  "This is the family.  The kids, the husbands, the nanny, the friends," he said, waving at them with a grin.  He knew the instant the Captain recognized him, his eyes went wide.  "We're taking the summer off."

"Oh, good.  Why?"

"We just graduated the Assassin's Academy," Melissa said with a smile.  "I'm Melissa, I'm his second-in-command now."

"I got that memo, young lady," he agreed, shaking her hand.  "Would you like a tour?"

"How about tomorrow?  Once we're underway and you're ready to scream at someone?"  He chuckled.  "I'll be with the other kids whenever you've got time."

"Thank you, ma'am."  He nodded at Lupin and Jigen.  "Husbands?  Or did he marry Goemon?"

"No, I married Goemon, he married those two," Fujiko said with a smile.  "Captain."

"Ma'am."  He let them have the doorway behind him.  "Again, we'll be underway about midnight."

"We were going to settle in, rest a bit, go to dinner, then come back," Xander offered.  "Is the helicopter not working?  I notice it's not on the prow."

"It's being serviced and gassed up, sir.  Just in case."

"Thanks.  The kids are in the Sultana Suite.  We're in the Sultan's suite.  Go that way, kids," he said, pointing to his right.  "Down one floor."  They nodded, trooping that way.  "Bix, if you want, you can stay with us?" he offered.  "We've got a massive suite with six bedrooms."

"If you wouldn't mind," she agreed calmly, following with the remaining youngsters.

Xander trotted to his room and threw open the doors.  "Tada!"

Lupin walked in and gasped.  It was beautiful.  Xander had done a wonderful job recreating an ancient harem poster that hung in his room.  "Wow."  He got out of everyone's way, going over to sit on a padded bench that let you look out a window.  "This is nice," he offered.

"It should be for the price I paid for it," he said smartly.  He grinned at Bix.  "If you want the bottom floor rooms, they're that way," he said, pointing to his right.  "Behind the stairs and beside the kitchen.  There's two bathrooms between four of the rooms."  She smiled and went that way, getting everyone settled into a room.  Kenji refused to share, loudly, so  Yu and Alex got their own, which left her with hers.  "Goemon, Fujiko, to the left and behind the bathroom, there's a nice bedroom."  He nodded, going that way.  "Guys, up the stairs."  They trooped up that way, smiling at the luxurious bed done in gold silk sheets and a maroon comforter.  "You like?" he asked, sliding down onto the bed.

"I do like," Lupin promised, taking a kiss.  "I like quite a lot."

"No walls so we'll have to be quiet."

"Every other room has a shutting door and soundproofing," Xander said smugly. "We do have drawable heavy curtains though."  He pointed at a recessed holder.  "In there."

"Thanks."  He laid down behind him, wiggling a bit.  "Soft, but nice."

"Very nice," Xander agreed happily.  "I didn't want too firm.  For you, the blue sofa is very nice to nap on."

"Good to know.  Where are the cats?" Lupin asked.

"Um, in the kids' suite?" he suggested with a grin.

Arsene walked in a few moments later, slamming the door shut.  "We have kittens," she announced.  "On the big bed."

"Sheets change," Xander called sweetly.

"They may, but I'm not touching that nastiness.  Do you know what comes out during birth?"

"Yes, dear, intimately," Xander said, getting up to look over the railing.  "Take the sheets off, put the kittens into a laundry basket, and bring the bunch of them up here."

"Ishi's doing that with Lotus.  I'm the advanced scout."  She looked around.  "This is nice," she admitted.  "Ours is water colors."

"I know, dear, I picked them out," Xander said dryly.  "Open the door, let the beasts in."  She did so, then went to sit down.  "Satellite will work later on.  We've got to activate it again."

"Fine."  She turned on the stereo, picking a jazz station.  The other kids trooped in with the beasts, and a basket full of them, leaving them in the middle of the living room before heading off.  "Hey, wait for me!"  She trotted after them, forgetting to shut the door.

Xander jogged down the stairs, stopping an escaping cat and shutting the door, locking it this time.  "There, no more kids for a while," he said happily, smiling at the kittens.  "Hi, mama cat.  Aren't you so pretty."  He scratched her ears, getting a purr.  "There you are.  Bix, we've got kittens," he called.  He went back up the stairs, going to pounce Jigen since he was still on the bed.  "Hi, Jigen," he said with a leer.

Jigen rolled him under him. "Not yet, but I'm sure you can change that feeling."

Lupin sat in a chair beside the bed, watching those two go at it.   They were very nice together.  He could also stop the kids this way.  So when Yu climbed up the stairs, he grabbed him and took him back down, silently showing him the way to his parents' room.  Yu grinned and toddled that way, opening the door to a squeal of pleasure.  Lupin went back up the stairs, drawing the curtains to seal them in.

"Son, why do you have a kitten in your arms?"  Goemon asked as he walked his youngest back into the living room.  "Where did the kittens come from?"

"Arsene's bed," Lupin shouted.  He smirked at the heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and the quiet knock on the curtain.  "We're still dressed."  Goemon walked in and shut the curtain again.  "All of the other rooms have soundproofing but ours.  We get a curtain."

"It is very thick, you were muffled," he admitted.  "Fujiko has a headache since my son suggested that she nurse the kittens to help the mother cat."  Xander burst out in giggles.  "It wouldn't have been too bad, except that she was topless and he was holding it up at just the right spot.  He tried to get it to latch on."  Lupin burst out in snickers at that, making Goemon start to chuckle as well.  "We may be leaving her here for dinner."

"That's fine, we'll bring her back something," Xander agreed with a grin for him.  "So, how do you like my decorating taste?"

"I like it quite a lot.  Our room has a wonderful view."  He bowed to him.  "Thank you for this indulgence."

"Ehh, it's nothing.  I wanted to get away from the city for a while too.  This way we've got all we need."  He looked up as he heard the helicopter.  "Hopefully that's ours."  He shrugged it off and stood up, hugging Goemon.  "Now, go back down and play with your sons.  There's a practice room the next deck down, it used to be two suites together.  It's got a nice hardwood floor and mats you can drag out."  He nodded, heading down there.  "We'll call when it's time."

"Fine, Xander.  Do not get too loud.  We don't want to scare the children."  He looked over as Bix suddenly rushed for her room, and the bathroom it contained.  "Hmm."  He went to get something for her stomach, leaving it on her dresser with a bottle of water.  "I've left something for the motion sickness," he called before leaving her room.  He pulled the children in to sit and play with the cats, naming the new ones. Inky, Blinky, Santa, and Cheese all seemed quite happy with their names and settled down to have a meal.

"Did I eat like that?" Kenji asked.

"Yes, son, from Xander you did."

"Me too?" Yu asked.

"No, unfortunately you didn't get to do much of that son. I wish you had been able to."  He pulled his youngest son into his lap to hug, making him grin.  "Fred, you did quite a lot of that."

"I know," he said with a small leer.  "Where's mommy?"

"Having a nap with your fathers.  You may not interrupt them."

"Where sissy then?"

"In her own room.  You'll be seeing her shortly I'm sure."  Bix came out sipping the water.  "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine," she promised, smiling weakly at him.  She sat down to admire the cats, stroking the mother's head for her.  "Hello, dear.  How are you today?  When did you give birth?"

Lupin came down the stairs with Jigen, who was redoing his tie.  "Arsene said that there was a mess on her bed so I'm guessing recently," he offered, sitting down to look at them.  "What're their names?"

"Inky, Blinky, Santa, and Cheese," Goemon told him, smirking at his shaking head.  "The children picked them out."

"Yeah, I'd expect that, is Inky the white one?"  Goemon nodded.  "Cute, guys.  Good names."  He sat down on the couch, and fell backwards, liking this one a lot.  "I think I'll be right here."

"Sure, Jigen, you nap," Lupin said tolerantly.  "We'll wake you for dinner."  They all watched as Bix got up and ran back to the bathroom.  "Wow, that's strong motion sickness. I can't even feel any movement."  He looked at Goemon, who shrugged, apparently not thinking anything of it.  "We'll bring you stuff back if you want to rest tonight, Bix," he called.  "We can handle the kids."

"Thank you," floated out, then the door slammed.

Lupin smirked at Jigen, who gave him a happy grin back.  "So, dinner at Xander's other place?"  Jigen nodded.  "Cool.  Where's the bags?"

"Out in the hallway," Kenji told him.  "I saw them when I peeked."

"Thanks, little man."  Lupin got up to grab the bags, putting them where they belonged.  Then he found Arsene's bag so he carried it down to their suite, following Xander's rudimentary directions from the doorway, and the signs on the walls.  He tapped on the marked door, holding out the bag to his daughter.  "It was in with our stuff."

"Thanks, I was wondering if I had left it at home," she said, letting him inside.  "I put the laundry into the laundry shoot.  I'm sure it'll make someone unhappy, but it was still nasty."

Lupin looked around, this one was done in blues and greens, with an underwater motif.  It was kinda neat and very sixties-ish, and it suited their kids very well.  He grinned at her and hugged her.  "You okay? I know you get motion sickness now and then."

"I'm fine.  We're not moving yet."

"Bix is already puking her guts up," he said dryly.  "We're going to Xander's place for dinner tonight, then back here.  So wear something mildly upscale if you have it.  We plan on going around seven."  She nodded.  "Did you bring anything besides shorts and a bathing suit?"

"Two working outfits with shoes and a sundress. Other than that, ten pairs of shorts, fifteen t-shirts, and about twelve bikinis."  She beamed at him.  "Did you ever talk Uncle Jigen into shorts?"

"Two pairs," he agreed.  "Melissa, did you bring real clothes?"

"One outfit."

"I brought my leather pants and a nice t-shirt," Ishi offered.  "Other than that it's mostly gi's and shorts."

Lotus snorted.  "Don't look at me, I have nothing to wear tonight except a certain kimono."  They all groaned.  "Hey, I had to bring the book," she reminded them.

"Good point," Lupin agreed.  "Can you wear that tonight?"

She nodded.  "I can even do it without feeling the desire to put on kabuki or geisha makeup too," she said with a smirk.

"Your dad would have a heart attack if you did that," he teased.  He smiled down at the cat twining around his feet.  "Want to join the others?"

"Go ahead, she was napping on my leather pants," Ishi offered.  He nodded, picking up the cat and taking it back to their room.  It went for Goemon as soon as it jumped down.  "The kids brought a single working outfit, except for Lotus.  Fortunately she had that kimono wrapped around her new book."  Goemon nodded at that.  "Seven good?"  Everyone nodded, even Xander.  "Did you have sometime different planned?"

"Nope, I planned to eat about seven-thirty, that's usually a lull.  We've got a quiet corner table to ourselves."  Lupin smiled as he flopped down.  "I know I've got to activate the satellite dish, go unlock the library, and check on the status of the loads.  Anything else I missed?"  Everyone shook their head.  "Then I'll be right back."  He walked out, one of the kittens on his shoulder and refusing to let go, another one in his arms.  He ran into the First Mate and nodded, grinning. "Hi."

"Sir!" he said, saluting.

"Not the navy, kid, really.  Satellite dish plug?"

"In the main restaurant, sir."

"Cool.  Loading?"

"Going according to schedule, sir."

"Kid, sir me again and I'm making you date one of the kids," Xander said dryly.   The boy blushed.  "If they like you," he offered with a careful shrug.  "Library needs unlocked as well. I'm going to plug that in, then head to the infirmary to stock up on the motion sickness medicine for a member of my party. We're leaving for dinner at about six-thirty if it matters."

"That's fine, sir, we'll stay out of your way.  The chef would like your opinion on the menu as well."

"Sure.  Have him meet me in the restaurant so I can plug in the dish, before the kids get upset at the lack of MTV Europe."  He grinned and walked on, continuing to pet his precious cones.  "Hey," he said, grinning at the chef, who took both cats from him. "Let me get the dish first."  He went behind the bar and found the switch and the plug, doing them both. He turned on the tv next to his head, watching as a picture came on.  He flipped the switch again, allowing each room to have their own choice of channels.  "There."  He turned off that tv and walked back around to repossess his cats and to sit with the chef.

"I took the liberty of drawing up proposed menus for your stay, Xander.  How many?"

Xander did a quick head count.  "Thirteen?"  He recounted.  "Thirteen," he agreed. "Plus me, fourteen."  He shook his head.  "Sorry, long flight."  He looked over as Arsene walked in, waving her over.  "Come help."

"Sure.  TV working?"  He nodded.  "Cool."  She looked at the menu.  "That's a lot of food for us.  Are you trying to make Ishi so fat he can't fit in his leather pants?" she asked with a teasing grin.

The chef blushed.  "Not really.  I've been preparing dinners for receptions recently."  He slid it over to Xander. "As a general estimate?"

"That's a lot of food," Xander agreed.  "Breakfast can be a buffet thing for us and the staff," he offered. "We probably won't be getting up at dawn and those of us who do like to mediate around that time.  Coffee and tea, a must.  Not so much the tea, but definitely the coffee and the coke.  The kids and I like cold caffeine."  The chef nodded.  "Fruits, veggies, eggs, bacon on the breakfast thing, muffins and stuff if you want.  Lunch, we can probably make do with smaller meals.  It'll be grab and go in the middle of the afternoon."

"Another buffet style?" he suggested.

"Would be fine.  The kids will have the most regular schedule but the older kids and the adults are pretty muchly sandwich and chips people.  Maybe some salads and cut up veggies, like with dip?" he offered.  The chef nodded at that.  "Dinner, please, make real food.  With meat.  That one especially needs meat right now.  Plus, you know, teenagers.  Ishi's seventeen so he's no longer a bottomless pit.  Lotus is sixteen.  Arsene and Melissa are almost sixteen but they're girls.  Change it around, however you want.  Get creative as long as it's edible by normal people standards."  He pushed it back.  "I liked that pork chop one though.  I haven't had those in a while."

"I'll make those tomorrow night then," he promised.  "Is there anything else you can think of?"

"Yeah, we've got a seasick person," Xander said dryly.  "Our nanny.  So you might wanna keep some crackers on hand.  And again, go ahead and let the staff eat the same stuff, that way you're not making extra stuff."

"Thank you, sir.  That meshes well enough with my plans that I don't have to order much.  Should I order olives and other treats like that?"

"Jigen occasionally likes them, but no. We're more a crunchy veggie family.  Cucumbers, peppers, some hot peppers because this one likes them," he said, patting Arsene on the back.  "Cauliflower heads things like that are fine."  He nodded.  "We all like tomatoes.  They've been in Italy at school recently."

"We couldn't get anything other than Italian food, even when we were in Venice.  We'd appreciate raw tomatoes and stuff, but go light on the pasta."  He smiled and nodded. "Oh, add some chips.  We're teenagers.  Some popcorn, things like that."  The chef nodded again.  "Thanks.  Yell if the cats wander this way.  We'll come get them."  He smiled and left.  "Bix is that seasick?"

"Yeah, she's already getting sick.  I'm headed down to the infirmary to get some more motion sickness medicine for our suite. You guys okay?"

"Yeah, I was hunting the satellite link for Melissa."   Xander pointed at a plug in the wall.  "We've all got them?"  He nodded.  "Thanks, mom."  She kissed his cheek and rushed off.

Xander got up, grabbing the playing cats, and headed down to the infirmary to grab some of the necessities.  Some Tylenol, some Bonine, some bandaids, some cough syrup just in case, and a small bag to put them in.  He paused, then one more thing went into his pocket.  Then he headed back to their room, handing it to Lupin.  "Satellite's on.  Computer hookups are the black wall jacks.  Chef's been reminded that we're not really a horde, so he's making most things buffet style except for dinner.  I told him we could share with the crew."  Everyone nodded.  "Bix, I got you more medicine and stuff for your head."  He took out the Bonine and headed into her room quietly, tapping first.  She moaned from her bed so he closed the door, holding out the box.  "For you. Of course, so's this, because I had a feeling," he offered, pulling out the other box.  She blanched.  "Yes?  No?  Way off base?"

"Possibly," she said quietly. "Please don't tell my cousin, or Ishi?"

"Not an issue. If it's positive, we'll kidnap him for you.  You can have a wedding on board."  He winked and handed it over.  "Use it when necessary.  We're leaving for dinner around six-thirty if you wanted to do it in absolute privacy."  She nodded.  "Read the warnings, just in case it's counter-indicated for you to take bonine while pregnant."  She smiled up at him.  "You rest.  We'll be out here."  He walked out, closing and locking her door behind himself.  "She's resting, she'll rest through dinner."

"Why did you bring up a pregnancy test?" Goemon asked.

"So she could hide it in her things in case your wife needed one," he retorted with a smirk.  "That way we wouldn't have to go searching for one."  Goemon blushed at that.  "Good idea, huh?"

"Very," he admitted quietly.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome, Goemon."  He gave him a hug.  "If it does, I hope it's twin girls."  He felt the smile so let him go.  "Okay, it's four.  We've got two and a half hours.  Go explore!"  Everyone went to explore, the adults taking their children with them.  Xander snuck down to the infirmary to get a second test kit to put in Bix's things, just like he had said he would.

***

Xander grinned as Bix walked into his office, pushing the button to seal them in there.  "Yes?"

"I think we'll need a good kidnaping plot."  She sat down, looking at her hands in her lap.  "I'm sorry about this."

"Not a big, that's how I had the twins," he admitted, smiling at her.  "It happens.  You do what you feel you must and move on."  He looked at his computer.  "We're going to be in Hawaii for the next day and a half starting tomorrow evening.  That good for you?"  She nodded quickly, still staring at her hands.  "It happens, Bix.  We love you anyway.  Trust me, even with condoms and birth control it can still happen.  Let us arrange things.  Should I tell anyone?"

"Please, don't.  I don't want him to be disappointed with me."

"Eh, you really have to worry about Ishi, he'll be so happy he might forget that he'll want to carve Ray up for a few minutes."  She let out a quiet chuckle at that.  "I'll announce it once he's here.  Not an issue.  We'll just say that you're being romantic.  I'll tell Murami to release your trust fund to you."  She nodded, looking up at him. "Hey, we love you, you're still family.  No matter that you are marrying a cop."  She gave him a gentle smile.  "Plus, if the kid ends up being a slayer, we'll train her with Alex."  She nodded more firmly at that, her line had a few of them.  "Go rest.  Can you take that?"  She shook her head.  "Should I call a pharmacy or Fihad?"

"No, I'll be fine. There's tea to help.  I'll go off while you get dinner to find some."

"That's fine.  We should be back by nine."  She nodded, getting up and leaving him alone.  He looked at his computer, then plugged it in, getting into his email.  He typed a note to Ray to meet him in Hawaii, saying that there were some very bad things going to happen and they were on vacation, so he'd be saving lives.  He gave him the dates, then sent the email.  He got one back within two minutes from Zenigata and groaned.  "No, not you, Gramps."  He typed one to Zenigata's email address, putting in the facts.  He was a traditional guy, he'd make sure Ray got to Hawaii on time.

***

Zenigata looked out as his wife's computer beeped.  "Is that for me?"

"From the crook's mother," she called.  "Should I read it to you?"

"No, I have a bad feeling about this.  He just invited Ray to Hawaii to save some lives."  He walked out there and moved her out of the way, reading the short note.  Then he deleted it and went back to his office, calling Chicago.  "Vecchio, put Kowalski on a plane to Hawaii. He's got to be there to meet Lavelle by tomorrow night.  They dock in Maui tomorrow night, they'll be there for a day. He's to be on the ship with them."  He got a confused sounding grunt.  "Now."  He hung up, leaving it at that.  Then he wrote back to Lavelle, telling him that Vecchio would be doing as ordered, this time.  That they had better not hurt him, and that Ray now had an extra two weeks of leave coming to him.  Then he filed the leave papers for him and sent the message.   He got up and went out, handing in the copies of the paperwork on his way to a bar.  He needed a drink.

***

Vecchio looked across the living room at his partner.  "You're needed in Hawaii.  You're to meet Lavelle there by tomorrow night in Maui.  Zenigata said to get your butt on a plane now.  No specifics given."

"Nothing?"  Ray shook his head so he went to check his email at the kids' computer, finding the message.  "Okay then."  He printed it off and handed it over.  "I guess I'm going tomorrow sometime.  That way I can do a bit of relaxing after the flight."  He pulled out his cell, he had the travel department's number on speed dial.

Vecchio read the letter, confused as anything.  What couldn't those guys handle?

***

Xander snuck down to the kitchen, tapping the chef on the shoulder and taking the kitten he was holding.  "Thanks.  We've got a bit of an event of our own coming up," he admitted quietly.  "I'm sorry to spring this on you."

"The sea sick one?"

"Isn't," he agreed gently, smiling at him.  "We're picking up the other person in Maui.  Can you?"

"Of course.  It is nothing unusual.  Just a small cake?"

"Please.  You don't have to be extra specially fancy or anything, but something nice."

"Of course.  Anything else?"

"Yeah, she's bringing on some tea to help her stomach.  So you might want to put out a pot of hot water most of the time."

"I figured I might.  That's not a problem either," he promised.  "Go, shoo.  Take the furry helper with you."

"Thanks, chef."  He walked out, heading back to change and put the cat safely back into the room.  "You stay in here, before he cooks you," he told the cat.   He trotted up the stairs to get redressed.

Lupin walked out of the other side of the kitchen. "Who's pregnant and getting married?"

"Your nanny."

"Ah-huh.  Sure.  We like Ray," he agreed happily.  "Want help with the cake?"

"No, I do many of them.  We have molds specially for them and everything.  Shoo, out of the kitchen.  Get ready to eat with your children and husbands."  Lupin smiled and nodded.  "She didn't want anyone to know."

"That's fine.  I can agree with that.  It'll cause less damage."  He walked off, still smiling when he met Bix in the hallway.  He gave her a hug.  "Ask us if you need anything, Bix," he said quietly.  "We've got it all arranged."  She blanched so he kissed her on the cheek.  "I was just in the kitchen when Xander came in with a special request.  He doesn't know I know either.  If you need me, yell.  Got it?"  She nodded.  "Good girl.  We'll make sure you get settled into Ray's place once he goes back home."  He kissed her on the cheek again and wandered off, going to jump his Xander now instead of later.  They still had a good hour, and when he got up there Xander was down to his shorts anyway.  He let out an evil chuckle as he pounced, messing up those pretty gold sheets.

***

Ray looked up as a man walked out of the cruise ship terminal, wandering over to him, glancing around to make sure no one saw him talking to this guy.  "What is going on?"

"All I know is that Xander said he needed to talk to you very badly.  That something horrible was going to happen if you didn't come with us," Jigen repeated.  "I'm in the dark, no one's told me a thing.  Did you bring Bix flowers?  She's been nervous and edgy, apparently she doesn't like boats much."

"I can get her some," he offered, running to do that for his girl.  He came back, following Jigen onto the boat.  Then the gangplank went up and the ship backed off while they were walking.  "This is awfully fast."

"Xander said he wanted us in international waters," Lupin said as they walked in.  "Shouldn't take too long.  Then we'll be back in the morning."  Ray shrugged and put his bag on a chair.  "Up here, Xander's changing clothes."  He walked down the stairs, smirking at Jigen.  "Go make sure Goemon and Fujiko are attired.  Plus the kids.  Would you, Jigen?"

"What's going on?" he asked quietly.  Lupin tapped the back of his left hand. Jigen's eyes went wide.  Lupin glanced at the sleeping Yu on the couch, then back at him.

Jigen snickered and nodded, going to check on Goemon and Fujiko, then the kids.  He found the couple on their balcony.  "Hate to say it folks, but we've got something going on that'll require more than a loincloth or a string bikini.  Ray's on board too."

"Why?" Fujiko asked.

"The same reason we've all got to get dressed."  He walked off, whistling all the way down to the kids' room, tapping before walking in.  Not that they'd need to hide anything but Arsene was a nudist at heart.  "Get dressed."

"Why?  Are we going off the boat?" Melissa asked from behind her book.

"Ray's here.  We're all doing something that requires some clothes.  So at least be presentable."

"Sure, Jigen," Ishi agreed, getting up to find his leather pants and t-shirt.  Arsene got up to put on shorts and a t-shirt, and Melissa got up to put on shorts, she figured she could keep on her bikini top.  "Nope, shirt too, daughter," he ordered.  She sighed and did that, but didn't put on shoes.  They followed him up to the pool area, picking out seats in the sun.

"We're pulling away from shore," Arsene said.  "Why?"

"The same reason," Xander said as he walked up with Ray.  "You, sit there," he ordered, pointing at a chair.  Ray sat down, still looking confused.  "Good.  Family conference time, guys.  Be right back with everyone else."  He jogged back to their suite, getting everyone else shooed out before Bix could come out.  He adjusted her veil, which was a very thin piece of lace left over from the decorating, and her obi, which was traditional.  He noticed Fujiko staring in shock.  "Yeah, there's a reason.  Out."  She hurried off.  Xander grinned at her and took her arm, walking her out and up to the main deck.  They'd be in international waters within two minutes according to the captain.  He was met in the hallway by Goemon, who still looked quite confused, and the Captain, who was smiling happily.  Goemon's mouth came open when he saw his cousin.  "It's time?"  The captain nodded. "Good.  Goemon, I do believe this is your job since you're her real family."  He got out of the way and opened the door, letting the captain walk in first, with him following like the bridesmaid.  Lupin got Ray standing.  The captain cleared his throat and Goemon came out with Bix, which made everyone stand up and gasp, but Fujiko, who was still staring at her in awe.

"Holy shit," Ray whispered, looking at Lavelle.  "What is going on?"

"You're getting married, Ray, before we have to find a shotgun," Xander said quietly.  Ray's eyes went wide so Xander nodded.  "I'm about the only one who knows." Lupin shook his head subtly.  "But him."

"Sure."  He looked at his bride and grinned.  "Wow.  You look wonderful," he told her as she joined him.  "I love you."  She blushed so he took her hand, kissing the back of it.  "Are we in international waters?"  The captain looked up, hearing a whistle blow, then nodded.  "Then please, marry us."  Bix went to her knees so he followed suit.  "Whatever you want," he promised.

"Hush," Xander ordered.  "Captain?"

"We are here to marry this very adorable couple.  Stanley Raymond Kowalski, do you take this woman, Bixana Aiko Goemon to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," he breathed.

"Do you, Bixana Aiko Goemon, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," she said quietly, glancing at him.  "For now and forever."

"Is there any objection to this event?"  No one said anything.  "None at all?" he asked again.  "Then by the powers vested in me by the International Treaties and being a Captain of this fine Vessel, I pronounce you man and wife.  You may kiss the bride."

Ray stood up, pulling her up with him, and kissed her like he'd always wanted to.  "Yours," he promised against her lips.  She smiled and nodded at him.  "All mine?" he asked with a grin.

"All yours."  She walked him over to the railing, taking the flower that was holding her veil in place and tossing it into the water.  "As an offering to the Sea Gods, so they may bless us also."

He kissed her again.  "They've already done that," he promised her.

"Enough kissing, let's eat," Lotus said.

"Daughter," Goemon warned.

She laughed. "It's not like she can eat anyway, father."

"She's what?" Ishi asked, suddenly catching a clue.  He scowled at Ray.  "You touched her before you were wedded!"

"Like you've done to a few others, son, so is she allowed.  They were betrothed at the time," Xander said firmly. "Back down or face me."  Ishi scowled but backed down.  "Thank you.  Bix?  Other happy news to share?"

"I am pregnant," she admitted, staring up at Ray.  "I'm sorry."

"Not an issue, just moved up the time table," he promised, smiling at her.  "I always wanted kids."  She blushed.  "So we'll be happy raising little cops."  He gave her another kiss.  "I agree with the samurai-ette.  Let's eat.  I didn't get any last night."

"That won't be a problem now," Jigen said dryly. "Just wait a few months, you'll beg and plead for some rest."  They both blushed at that.  "Come on, guys, it's hot out here, the cake's gonna melt if we make them bring it out here."

"Buffet's in the restaurant, which is down a floor," Xander reminded them.  They all trooped that way, letting the couple follow behind when they were ready.  With Kenji since he had snuck back to hug them both.  He smiled at the captain. "Thanks.  This was unexpected but very nice."

"Not a problem, Xander.  You know it's never a problem."  He clapped as the couple came in with the baby in their arms.  "She looks very good with him."

"That's Goemon's second son," he admitted.  He took Kenji.  "No sucking up to her," he whispered in his ear. "She's Ray's now."  He nodded, getting down to hug his father and mother.  "To the new couple," he shouted, raising his glass.  The others grabbed one and raised it.

"To the new couple!"

***

Ray decided to get them off at Hawaii, that way she could go back to Chicago with him.  Since he had more leave and all thanks to his boss, who had known what this was about.  He got her onto the plane, calling from the plane to have Vecchio meet them at the airport so he didn't have to pay cab fare.  Now that he had a kid on the way, he needed to think about these things.  He and Bix walked off, stunning the cop standing there.  "Benny," he said quietly.  "I'd heard you were back.  Ray around?"

"He's at the main gates.  I'm waiting for someone.  It was...good to see you, Ray."

"You too," he agreed, letting Bix mutter under her breath.  "Did you just call him a camel dung wearing princess?"

"Close enough," she agreed with a smile for him.  She heard someone groan and found Vecchio in front of them.  "Inspector," she said with a bow.

"Hey, Ray, big news," Ray said with a bright grin.  "Wanna be a Godfather?"

"What?" he asked flatly.  Ray nodded, grinning at him.  "That's why...."  He trailed off.  "You're married!"  Ray beamed and nodded, showing off the ring he had let her wear for now. He'd have to get her a real one soon.  Vecchio sighed and nodded. "Okay.  To the car, we can go from the top when we get there."

"We taped it for you," she offered, laying a hand on his arm.  "I agree with Ray, I want you to stay with us in Paris once we're back there."  He gave her a gentle hug.  "Thank you, Ray."

"You're welcome."

"Speaking of, maybe we should move before the camel dung princess joins us," Ray said worriedly.

"Huh?" Vecchio asked.

"Benny's here," he said quietly.  "He was at the gate."

"Wonderful."  He got their bags for them and walked them out of the airport, taking them out to his car.  "What was the emergency?"

"If Goemon had found out, I'd be in little pieces of fish bait."

"So the lives that you saved...."

"Was my own and my kid's," he agreed, stroking her stomach.  "I'm so happy!  I could sing and dance and laugh and play!  Do you want a boy, Bix, or a girl?"

"Either's fine," she offered.  "I know that Westerners don't care, but traditionally a firstborn son is a wonderful omen."

"I'm good either way, as long as you're happy and fine," he promised.  "Tomorrow, I gotta find her a real ring."

"Sure, Stanley," Ray agreed.  "Need to stop on the way in?"

"No, I'm fine.  She's not sick, you did remember the tea stuff, right?"  She nodded quickly.  "Good.  So we're good ta introduce her to your Ma if she wouldn't mind."

"Nah, family's never too big," Ray reminded him, heading for the Loop.  It'd be the fastest way to get him home, which would mean he could wake up again.  He felt a pinch and looked down, shrieking at the creature coming out of Ray's pocket.  "What is that!"

"Ooh, a sand crab," Bix sighed, picking it up to put into her lap.  "There you go, precious.  We'll let one of the children keep you as a pet."  Stanley grinned back at her, making her blush again.  "Eyes forward, before we embarrass Ray, dear."

"Sure."  He turned and slumped down some.  "So, are ya pissed?  I didn't even know until the minute before she walked out onto the deck."

"No, I'm good with this," Vecchio admitted. "Did Zenigata?  I know he applied for more leave time for you."

"Yeah, he did. I called him, he was drunk, he knew."

"Good.  What about the apartment?"

"We can stay with you, or we can move and kidnap you with us," Bix offered.  "Your choice, Inspector."

"It's Ray, Bix.  Don't get formal now.  Sure, I'll move in with you two.  I'm not the babysitter or cook though."

"I believe that's my job, Ray," she said firmly.  "I am a traditional woman.  I would not dare let a man in my kitchen."

"Fine," he agreed, grinning some in the mirror.  "I can cook."

"Good, then you can do meals when I'm too ill."  He nodded, liking that idea.  "Just don't make me pick up your dirty laundry, use a basket."

"Of course," the men agreed.  She'd probably had enough of that with the kids.

"Then decide if we're moving to somewhere larger or not please, Ray."

"I like the little place but there's no room for a baby," Ray told him.  "Move?"

"I could move," Ray admitted.  "One of the nephews wants to come over to go to college.  Maybe somewhere with a garage apartment?"

"I'll have Murami look," she offered.

"Nope, no way.  It'll look bad on us," Ray said quickly.  "We'll have Zenny look. He's got a good enough eye and so does Dawn.  She picked out their current house.  Exit, Ray."  Ray changed lanes to take the exit.  "Less traffic.  The last time I took the other one, it was ungodly."

"I forgot about the construction," he admitted.  "We should call the guys in to celebrate."

"Sure," Ray agreed, grinning at him. "You'll like most of the guys. Watch out for Huey's jokes though."  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Isn't worse than Lupin's, I promise."

"That's fine. I look forward to meeting your friends and clan."

"Actually, Ray's clan.  I'm adopted inta it," he promised.  "Lots and lots of Vecchios now."

"Yeah, and about to add by another Kowalski.  How far along are you, Bix?"

"That pitiful stage where nothing wants to stay down from four in the afternoon until midnight."

"Morning sickness, so first trimester, we'll warn Ma to make dinner subtle," he promised.  "Speaking of, call Ma, Stan."

Stanley pulled out his phone to call Ray's mother.  "Hi, Ma.  I'm back, I'm bringing a guest. No, it's good news," he said happily.  "Maybe," he admitted.  "Ray said to make dinner subtle if possible.  No, not that way.  Like ya did when we first came in should be fine.  Sure, Ma.  See you soon, we're about a half-hour away.  Yup, soon."  He hung up.  "She thinks she knows what's going on."

"Ma's not dumb.  She's seen this before.  Maria basically brought Tony home to announce she was pregnant and they were getting married," he admitted dryly.  He turned onto the correct street, going slower.  "It'll be soon, Bix, just hold on."

"I think I can."  Ray handed back an airsickness bag.  "Thank you, husband."

"Welcome, love," he said with a dopey grin.  Even after she started to get sick.

Ray pulled over and got out, leaving the door open to air out the car, just in case she missed the bag.  His mother came out onto the porch so he waved her off. "Not yet, Ma."

"What's wrong?"  She came down, wiping her hands on her apron.  Ray got out, helping Bix out of the back and supporting her.  "You poor thing, are you ill?  Did the flight upset your stomach?"  She took her arm and led her away.

"Ma, my wife," Stan complained as he followed her.  "Besides, this is normal from what Xander said."  Ma shrieked and hugged them both, which brought every other Vecchio out onto the porch.  "Hi," he said with a wicked grin.  "Guys, this is Bix.  Bix, this is the Vecchio clan.  Be nice ta her or else.  She just got done bein' a nanny for thieves."  He walked her through the crowd, sitting her on the couch.  "Let me get you some water."

"Thank you," she said weakly.

Maria walked in with her bag, handing it over.  "Want hot or cold, sweetie?" she asked with a sympathetic smile.

"Warm would be nice.  I have some tea that helps."

"Hey, it's all good.  This house has seen many pregnant women."  She went to get the hot water for her, coming back to find her being cuddled by one of the kids. "Let her make some tea, then you can hug her," she ordered her youngest, pulling her away.  "Sorry.  She's in a cuddly mood."

"I was just the nanny for my cousin, Goemon, and his friends.  Nothing is more cuddly than his youngest son, who thinks he is not weaned," she shared with a small smile. Maria burst out laughing at that, patting her on the shoulder.  "Thank you for the hot water."

"Welcome.  Not an issue.  Go bug your Uncle for a hug."  She let down the youngest, who was now seeking a different target.  She sat down, smiling as Ma came in with some cookies.  "Let her get the tea down first, Ma. It's to help with her stomach."

"Of course.  Whenever she's ready," she promised, smiling at her.  "You are very polite.  Chinese?"

"Japanese.  I'm a cousin to Goemon Ishikawa the Thirteenth, and the Fourteenth, and his various other children," she admitted with a small smile.  She heard a confused sounding sniffle and looked back, frowning at the small being standing there.  "Visible?" she asked in Japanese.  The baby became visible, making Maria and Ma gasp.  "Don't worry, it's a baby kitsune.  I was their nanny for many years and some of them still seek me out.  Come sit."  The baby climbed up next to her, hugging her.  "Hmm, sleeping sickness.  You should be in bed."

"No, not want bed.  Want you, Bix."  She pouted at Ray.  "Mine!"

"She's mine now.  She's got my baby in her."

"Meany."  She pouted, at least until a veiled woman came to get her.  "No!  Not wanna go!"

"Hush," she whispered and the child quit. "She is not the nanny. She is now a married woman and runs her own family.  You may visit when she is at home and you are better."  She bowed to Ma, then to Bix.  "Our lord sends his greeting and his many wishes for your happiness.  He said that Xander has sent you a few of his special kimonos to your husband's house and to wear them in peace and happiness."  She bowed again before leaving with the little one.

"Well, that was certainly nice of her," Ma admitted.  "She was very pleasant."

"She is.  She trained me how to take care of children," Bix admitted, making her tea.  "Thank you for welcoming me, Mrs. Vecchio."

"Call her Ma, everyone does," Maria offered.  "So, you're pregnant how far?"

"Morning sickness," Ray said as he walked in.  "Zenigata said he could find you a place, knew just the spot, had more than enough room if you wanted to have more kids than him, and it has a garage apartment for the nephew.  That good?"  Ray nodded.  Bix swallowed some tea and nodded as well.  He put the phone back up to his ear.  "Yeah, that's fine, sir.  No, she's having morning sickness.  Yeah, very pretty.  Why?"  He smirked.  "She said she had it on tape.  Sure, thanks."  He hung up.  "He said he'd have us moved by the time I got back there.  He also suggested that you file the paperwork as soon as you get back. Do you have a marriage license?"

"Already mailed from Hawaii," Ray assured him.  "Plus the Interpol paperwork to put her into my file as my wife and onto my insurance as my wife."

"Good."  He stole a cookie as he sat down.  "What's wrong, Ma?"

"One of the baby kitsune just showed up," Bix explained.

"Hmm, little baby foxes who like to cuddle," Ray agreed.  "I've had a few of them come visit me."  Ma gave him an odd look.  "They like Xander, so they think the people he likes will like them.  So they come bug us now and then.  I taught one of the older ones how to take dictation and type."  He smirked at his sister, then at his mother.  "Calm down, it's normal for them."

"Fine, Raymondo.  Eat, Bix. They will help as well."  She nodded, taking a cookie to nibble, then smiling at her.  "Ah, you are not easily cowed by my sons.  That is a good thing.  They could use a firm hand, especially one with a spoon sometimes."

"She can already kick my butt," Ray offered with a smile for his girl.  "She don't need a spoon."

Ma chucked, patting the new daughter on the knee.  "Welcome to the family.  It can only make things happier and more lively.  Why didn't you stay on the ship?"

"Because she was gettin' so sick from the water it wasn't nice, Ma," Ray said patiently.  "Besides, I figured you guys'd want more than a day to meet her."

"Good!  We'll switch you and my Ray out, Stanley.  You two will take his room, he will take that couch.  It has a lock," she assured Bix.  "That way the children cannot help."

"Children are children.  If they cannot help, they will fuss to interrupt at the wrong moment.  Then you soothe them and go back to what you were doing before."  Ma laughed and so did Maria, and Ray shook his head but he was smiling about that.  "I have helped raise many children.  These are not much different than the furry ones or the thieving ones.  Only they seem better behaved at times."

"Lotus was the sweetest little thing, until you upset her, then she'd scowl just like her daddy," Ray shared.

"Arsene used to crawl into bed between her parents and push them out of their own beds," she retorted with a smirk.

"Are we talking the thieve's kids?" Maria asked.  "I've never heard that name Arsene."

"Also known as Lupin the Fourth," her brother Ray told her.  "Mouthy little brat, but damn good.  Not quite sixteen and already so far up the most wanted list she's got her own investigator.  Not the one she wants, yet, but one of her own."

"She's turning sixteen in three more days," Ray told him. "While they're back in San Francisco."  Ray shuddered.  "So I'm guessing we might be getting calls from a drunk Xander about his baby being so grown up.  She took off the same time we did, heading for Berlin."

"I'm sure her father didn't want to hear it anyway," he said dryly.

"No, he's vowed that he's going to lock her in a tower if she ever gets pregnant," Bix told him with a small smirk.  "Either that or he's going to pounce you, make you marry her, and straighten her out."  Vecchio shuddered.  "She is pretty."

"She's also got a big mouth, a dirty mouth, a dirty mind, and she's a klepto."

"Not really.  She has exquisite taste in targets.  Some of that pirate treasure is very pretty."

"As is Xander's cruise ship," Ray agreed, giving her a squeeze.  "Eat another cookie."

"Trust me, eat while you can, you'll have a month of losing weight," Maria assured her.

"She's already too tiny to begin with," Ma said, frowning at her daughter. "Ray will just have to feed her."

"No, no men in my kitchen unless I am too ill to cook.  No traditional woman of my clan would ever let a man cook more than over a pit of his hunts."  She quickly nibbled her next cookie.

"Japanese women are much more traditional than Italian women, Ma.  She was born to be a homemaker and wife."

"Good, Stanley could use a good cook to feed him up," she agreed.  "You may help me in the kitchen if you want."  Bix gave her another gentle smile.  "Are you feeling better?"

"Much.  Do you need help now?"  Ma shrugged and got up, helping her up and into the kitchen.  "Do you have an apron I might borrow?  This is Lotus' kimono and I don't want to stain it."

"That is very pretty.  Traditional?"  She nodded quickly.  "It looks good on you."

"Thank you."  She accepted the apron and saw some vegetables.  "Are those to be minced or sliced?"

"Minced, dear."  She watched as Bix washed her hands, then picked up the knife and minced those vegetables before she could blink.  "Well.  You're very quick."  She smiled and they bonded over the meal.  This new daughter was very proper and stiff, but she was fun and had a good sense of humor.  She could learn to like this new daughter a lot.  Even if she did have odd ideas about frying meat in small chunks without sauce.

***

Xander lazed around on his lounger, smiling when a shadow went across him.  "Yeah, Jigen?"

"Xander, is there anything to do but read, watch tv, and play?"

"You mean like the gym, the libraries, the bar, the pool?  That sort of stuff?  Or like the fact that we'll be in port tomorrow night?"  He pulled him down, letting him sit on him. That way he could have another kiss.  "Bored?"

"Kinda.  There's not even any crosswords."

"I put a whole box in the library."  Jigen smiled at that.  "Know where it is?"  Jigen shook his head so Xander got him up and lead him down there, opening the door and flipping on the lights.  "The library," he said happily. "Real books, e-books, and other books.  The crosswords are here," he said, pointing at a box on the table with a big grin.  "The copier's in the corner if you wanted to copy them, that way the original is still intact.  Also, we've got some mysteries, some histories, some biographies, some religious stuff, some other stuff... I'm not sure what all we have.  I gave Marcus a grand and sent him to Walden Books."  Jigen snickered at that.  "I told him to be diverse.  I'm hoping he listened."  He stole another kiss.  "What would help you not be bored, Jigen?"

"Another kiss and the first crossword book."  Xander gave him both, then gave him a smug smile and walked off, going back to his tanning.  Jigen copied a few off, then took them back up onto the deck by the pool.  Lupin was sunning himself up there, looking like a hairless cat with how he was laying.  "The library is open."

"I saw that," he mumbled.  "Too tired to read.  This is good, napping good."

Jigen snickered again.  "Did Xander wear you out?"

"Hell yeah," he said tiredly.  "Damn nymph."  He flopped onto his side. "Watch out, he's playful."  He drifted off again.

Jigen settled in to work on his crosswords, happier now. It was a nice day.  There wasn't any reason he couldn't nap.  He was finally getting a tan. He didn't watch as Lotus decided to take off her bathing suit to swim or dive into the pool, but then again not even Lupin was looking. He glanced over, seeing the half-slitted eyes, and smirked.  Never mind, some things never changed.

Aftermath of Secrets

Lupin looked up as a DVD was dropped onto his plate, picking it up to make sure it wasn't damaged.  "What's this?" he asked the minor thief in Paris' network.

"Your girls last night," he said snidely.  "My boss said it'd be illuminating."  He strolled off again.

Lupin pulled up his portable DVD player, loading the disc into it.  He sat back to watch, finding his daughters playing with Vecchio.  Then he disappeared, heading for the bathroom, where the security footage changed to a view in there, showing him masturbating to their pictures.  The video flipped back to the dance floor, where their babies were driving men insane.  Then it jumped ahead after a blur of static, showing Zenigata walking in.  The girls teased him, his daughter *kissed* him, *twice*, which made him shudder, then they went to tease the poor boys some more while the cops were brain damaged from coming in their pants again.  He shut it down and stored the DVD player again, picking up his coffee to take a calming sip.  Before he went to kill his daughter.  She was going to steal his fun.  He saw someone's shadow approaching and looked up, finding Xander walking up with a grin.  "Weren't you supposed to go out *with* the girls last night?" he asked coolly.

"I did.  I was at the end of the bar all night, Lupin.  They were teasing.  Gramps is jumping up and down in his office shrieking about 'fricken women crooks' and 'fricken breast jobs' and also 'fricken Lupins who do mean things to him'."  He grinned.  "Dawn smelled her perfume on him and made him sleep on the couch last night."

"Wonderful," Lupin said bitterly.  "Was that your idea?"

"The girls decided that they needed a distraction while Ishi was doing something.  The idea to tempt Vecchio was Jigen's from what I understand."  He batted his big, brown eyes at Lupin, making him melt.  "It'll be fine."

"It won't be, he'll start chasing her instead of us."

"Lupin, if you wanted his ass that badly, you should have gone for him sooner," Xander said impatiently, leaning back again.  Lupin scowled at him.  "That's what it sounds like."

"It's nothing like that," he protested.

"Sure, Lupin."  He looked up as Goemon joined them.  "The girls went flirting last night."

"Why?" he asked calmly.

"To tempt Vecchio and then Zenigata while Ishi pulled something."

"I see.  Were they successful?"  Lupin nodded, still scowling at Xander.  "What happened to make him scowl?"

"Arsene kissed Gramps and made him come in his pants."

"Ah."  Goemon looked at Lupin.  "Are you jealous?  Did you perhaps want that honor for yourself?"

"No!  She's my daughter!  She's getting her own Inspector!"

"I'm sure she will.  Zenigata is more likely now to get the one she wants so he's not forced to deal with her again," Goemon offered.  "Why Vecchio?"

"Jigen's idea."

"What was my idea?" Jigen asked as he walked up with Alex, Kenji, and Yu in tow.  Fred was off with one of their people at the moment, getting something to present to them over breakfast.  He'd be back in a few minutes.

"To tease Vecchio.  Something about happy dreams?" Xander asked smugly.

"I told the girls to give him some of the vacation photos so he could have some," he admitted.  "He hasn't had a girl in a long time."

"So you sent pictures of your nearly naked daughter to him so he could masturbate in the club last night?" Lupin asked bitterly.  "Mine kissed Gramps, *twice*!"

"Calm down, Lupin.  They were only teasing.  They do it very well when they want to.  Ishi needed an hour's worth of distraction from Interpol.  He did what he needed to do.  Lotus got over some of her issues with flirting and noticed how a great many boys still stared at her in awe and admiration last night.  Arsene got her naughtiness fix for the week without having to hire a pro again.  It was a successful night. Melissa wanted to go clubbing, she got to."  Xander shrugged.  "It was a good night all the way around for them.  I'm not upset at what they did.  Arsene said he didn't kiss her back, he was too stunned."

"Do we have footage of them doing that last night?" Jigen asked.

"I have some from a camera I had hidden," Xander offered.

"I got handed a copy of the security DVD," Lupin said dryly.  "They thought Arsene went too far too."  He pulled out the player and handed it over so the others could see.

When it was done, Jigen leaned back, lighting a cigarette.  Alex glared at him.  "You, stop it," he ordered. "I don't care if you don't like me smoking."  He looked at Xander.  "That was way out of their usual style."

"Ishi needed a distraction, Lotus needed to get over what her mother did to her, and Melissa needed to go clubbing. It achieved all objectives.  If you don't like it, it was the girls' idea.  I only followed along as a chaperone in case someone tried to snatch them, like the person who's been following Melissa around pleading for her to build things for them.  That's my next target, no matter what the group is doing by the way."

"No, we're all going," Lupin promised him, glaring at him now.  "You can't take jobs by yourself anymore, Xander."

"Bet me," he snorted.  "I'm an active guy, I need more activity in my life.  Otherwise I'll have to take up jogging again."  He closed the portable DVD player and nudged Goemon, who shook himself free of the image of his daughter dressed like that.  "She's over it now.  No nightmares last night.  She did meditate and work it out in her head that her womanly assets weren't evil and wouldn't turn her into her mother if she enjoyed being a girl sometimes."

"Thank you.  That dress is still quite tight on her."

"Yeah, we'll, she's still got a good rack," Jigen reminded him.  "She's the same size as Melissa is."

"So they'll share clothes on jobs," Lupin said dryly.  "Where are these people, Xander?"

"In China.  It's a new arms group."

"I've heard rumors," Lupin admitted, considering it.  "Should we include the kids?"

"Their official debut is next month," Jigen reminded him.

"If we don't do this soon, then they'll be missing Melissa," Xander told him.  "They think she can figure out some very cryptic plans they stole and build the next super weapon for them.  They're probably wrong, from what I heard it's in one of the more obscure demon languages, but they'll kill her if she can't."

"Which sucks," Jigen agreed. "Can we stop them?"

"We can easily go hunt them down and kill them," Arsene said as she joined them, stealing a chair as someone was about to sit down.  She smiled at him, making him sweat.  "Thank you kindly."  He blushed and stammered, stealing another one.  She sat down next to her father.

"I didn't know you were Canadian," Xander said dryly, smirking at her.  "Someone sent footage."

"Wonderful.  It worked," she said sweetly, smiling at her father.  "He never kissed back, but I'm sure he had a happy night."

"Not really, his wife kicked him to the couch," Lupin said bitterly.  "Don't do things like that, it's mean!"

"You're just worried that he'll chase us instead of you guys," she pointed out gently.  "Trust me, I don't think he's up to chasing us, daddy.  He'd give up in a few weeks.  Now, how are we going to kill the people who stole Melissa from her bed?"

"What?" Jigen asked flatly.

"She's gone.  No note, nothing.  Her window was broken open however.  I'm assuming it was them.  Lotus didn't hear anything and Ishi's already tracking them.  He did leave a note," she offered, putting it onto the table.  It said he was following the people who had taken Melissa.  "So, how are we chasing them?"

"Marcus can watch the kids," Lupin decided.

"We go!" Kenji said coldly.  "We go now!"

Everyone stared at him, and his father blinked a few times.  "Son, you cannot demand such things.  It is not time for field lectures yet."

"I'm going," he said firmly, scowling at his father.  "Sissy in trouble, we go!"

"We go," Fred agreed quietly.  He had snuck in after his big sister. "Sissy needs us, daddy.  We stay in hotel but we go to help."

"Sure," Arsene agreed.  She looked at the assorted parents.  "Need I remind you that by the time we were Kenji's age, we were already doing our own jobs?" she asked patiently.  "They can stay in the hotel.  We were following you guys around all the time."

"Fine," Xander agreed.  He pulled out his phone and pushed a few buttons.  "Lotus, are we packed?  Fine.  No, the kids are coming too.  Sure, who?"  He hummed.  "Fine.  Have her meet us with the limo.  Did you want to go?"  He smirked.  "Of course I know you can.  We won't even make you stay in the hotel with the kids.  Fine. Call Marcus, have him meet us, and call your plane since time is of the essence.  Thanks, kiddo."  He hung up.  "Lupin, put your car in a garage, meet us back here.  Some of my people were tracking the group while they tracked Melissa and they're already here and helping pack."

"Fine," he agreed, going to do that.  His car had a special hidden parking spot here in the city not far away from where they were.  He took a cab back, barely in time to get into the limo.  He got in and closed the door, then opened it at the pounding, tossing money at the cabbie.  "Let's go.  We have everyone?"

"We do," Xander agreed.  "Spider, babe, intel?"

"Fairly sketchy still," she offered, handing over the file she had on her lap.  "Pictures of the people who came in.  Pictures of Ishi loading himself as cargo.  He may or may not have been caught by them.  I'm not sure.  Your plane is gassed up and their pilot is still down," she offered, nodding politely at Lupin.  "Bastian sends his love and that no one knows anything about these people.  They're too underground so far.  They're looking for a project to come out with.  He did get a picture of the head of the people.  He's not that pretty to look at."  Xander flipped through the pictures, handing them off.  "I think I know him but I don't know from where."

"Melissa's coming out party," he said dryly. "The one for the manor.  He was there.  He was claiming lineage and military consulting status."  He passed it on, watching as Jigen glared at it.  "How long before we catch up with them?"

"They'll be landing in a few hours.  We have people on the ground to follow them, based on their filed flight pattern.  If they veer off, we'll track from there.  The tracer Melissa and Ishi both wear will help us there."  He nodded.  "Also, they're in a shielded plane.  We can barely get Melissa's signal and we can't get Ishi's at the moment.  So they're not stupid."

"I never expected stupidity, just arrogance," he replied calmly.  "Anything else of interest?"  She shook her head so he leaned over to kiss her gently.  "Good girl, Spider. What about on that artifact?"

"The researcher you put into the Watchers is happily reporting that he's found mention of it, both before and after, but it's a sticky situation.  He'll have a report to Marcus once you're back.  I've called Marcus.  He's got the flu but he'll be there to watch the kids at the very least. He sounded miserable, Xander."

"Fine.  Good even.  How's Homer?"

"Pissed."  She smirked at Jigen.  "Homer has a bit of a crush on your daughter.  She's smart and he's always liked smart women.  He's being respectful and trying to clear his mind of such desires however.  He said he doesn't want someone to kill him."  Jigen nodded silently.  "So he's having a fit. You may have him helping without seeing him."  She looked at Xander again.  "The whole network was alerted and the specialist in Russia said she'll come if you need her."

"That's cool, if we need to burn them out we will," Xander agreed smugly.  "Thanks, love.  You're still my most amazing capture and helper."  She blushed slightly, but was smiling at him.  "You behave while we're gone.  Listen for problems for me and let Bastian know how to reach us."  They pulled up at the airport, pulling around to the back area.  He saw a few cops standing around his plane.  "Who're they?"

"Someone very stupid," she noted quietly.  "I have not an idea."  The limo stopped and she got out first. "Who're you?"

"We're checking for contraband," one of them called.  "Are you the owner?"

"No, I'm his secretary."  She stomped over there.  "What contraband would they have?"

"Drugs, weapons?  Things of that nature?" one of the cops suggested.  He gaped when he saw who was getting out of the limo.  "He's your boss!"

She glanced back, then shook her head, looking at them again.  "I work for Lavelle, mates.  They're chasing the arms dealer who stole his elder daughter."  They shuddered and backed away.  "The only weapons going with us are ours."

"Fine," the first one offered, taking the others back with him.  "Happy hunts.  They're not in Europe, correct?"  She shook her head. "Decent.  Thank you.  Some special boxes were loaded, ma'am."

She smirked.  "I'm Spider, I run London's syndicate."  They all nodded, turning and running away, which made her chuckle.  "I like doing that to them. It's fun."  She stole Xander for one last kiss.  "They loaded the boxes and Lotus should be on there."

"Thanks, Spider.  Have a happy meeting next week and tell me how he was," he said with a wink and a grin.  He climbed up the steps.  "Hey, Lotus.  They all here?"

"All six boxes, Uncle Xander," she said calmly, staring at the others.  "The auxiliary room has seats for the children."

"Thanks, dear."  The kids were hiked into the back room and strapped in, while the adults and the teenagers got the front.  The door was closed and locked by Arsene, then the engines started.  "Buckle up.  This is a very good plane and we'll be at cruising soon."  He looked out the window as they took off.  "Interpol!" he yelled.

"We've got clearance," the pilot called back.  They moved out to a runway to taxi and the engines sped up, then they were rolling.  They took off before the sirens could clear the hanger.  Once they had steadied out, she turned off the seatbelt sign.  "You're released.  I've notified the tower this was an emergency business trip, subject to final destination change at the last moment.  They cleared it anyway since it wasn't going to be much different," she called back.  "I had food stocked last week so it should be good.  There's stuff for the kids too, just in case.  The bed's still back there, Xander."

"Thanks, dear.  We can serve ourselves.  Just give us updates if anything comes through."  He stood up.  "Any satellite equipment is doable, anything else can't be used while we're in flight.  Lupin, my spare laptop and the satellite link is in the desk behind where the kids are."

"How did you buy an older 747 and rearrange it?" Jigen asked.

"Easily. It was on sale," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "It was also able to be reconfigured easily enough.  It's not like everything was bolted down.  The walls are standard, so's the meeting area and the kids' room is just a bedroom area with comfy seats."   He went up to the galley, pulling out something and putting it into the microwave.  "Should I start you some coffee?"

"Sure," the pilot called back. "I haven't gotten breakfast yet either."

"Done."  He got some of the pastries and coffee, handing it over to her.  "There you go, dear.  Ignore any yelling."  He winked and got his own breakfast, going back to his seat, turning it so he could watch Lupin typing.  "Any news from the bulletin boards?"

"No, not from either of them. Yours is silent."

"They know not to distract me in emergencies," he said with a small shrug before biting into his breakfast pastry.  "There's food up there too."

"Sure, thanks," Arsene agreed, heading up there.  "Lotus?"

"Soda and something if you can find something," she suggested.  She looked at her father.  "Are you upset about last night?"

He considered it.  "I am quite glad that you managed to get past that phobia, daughter, but it is wrong to tease men that way.  That is something that is not honorable."

"I wasn't promising anything, father, merely enjoying my body."

"Agreeable," he noted.  "Still, you must be careful because someone may have taken it as a promise."

"Then I can kick his ass, father.  We both know that."

"True," he agreed lightly, smiling at her.  "I have no problems with you having fun as long as you do not."

"I didn't. I worked through a lot of stuff last night," she offered.

"Good," Jigen told her.  He accepted his cup of coffee from Arsene.  "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yup, sure did.  I needed that dose of naughtiness to get it out of my system.  Otherwise I would have had another redecorating fit.  By the way, I'm told our ship is truly finished finally."  Lotus smiled at her.  "So we can use it for our first year if we want."  They clinked cans of soda.  "Daddy, go eat."

"I already had breakfast," Lupin said as he read something in his email.  "Pops just popped up an email ranting about the kissing.  He said it was mean and cruel."

"Hey, he's the one who reacted. It's not like I got wet panties kissing him," she offered when her father looked at her. "I'd expect him to be hell in bed, daddy, just because he can please that demanding bitch of his, but it's not what I want at this moment."  She sipped her soda and put it down on the table next to her.  "Guys, did you want sodas?" she called.

Kenji came to the door.  "They nap on the bed," he said quietly.  "We nap?"

"Go ahead, son.  You probably need the rest," Goemon said with a fond smile for him.  "Marcus will be meeting us to watch over you."

"Thank you, daddy."  He gave him a hug then went to curl up behind Fred.  Fred was his buddy and a very good pillow as well.

Goemon closed the door so no one would wake up the children.  "In the future, warn us when you go out to do such things."

"Of course, father.  As long as we're together at the time," Lotus agreed.

"Otherwise we'd have to call you before we went clubbing from wherever we were in the world," Arsene agreed with a smirk for him.

"Thank you."  He sat down again, looking at the map that had popped up.  "What is that?"

"A new message for Xander from Bastian," Lupin said, looking at Xander.  He turned the computer.  "Mean anything to you?"

"Very much," he admitted, hitting the print button.  He looked it over, then went to take it to the pilot.  "There's where they landed."

"That's a private airstrip but we can get you close," she promised, smiling up at him.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome, love."  He patted her on the shoulder and went back to sit down again.  "That's a private airstrip.  She'll get us as close as she can and we can travel overland from there."

"Should I tell Bastian that?"

"No, give it here," Xander ordered.  The laptop was handed over.  Xander typed in a coded message and sent it to let him know what was going on.  He got back a confirmation immediately.  "They're still fine.  They did find Ishi.  They're being held together.  He doesn't have his sword on him but they are carrying a heavy metal box as well.  He's guessing it's in there since he can find the muted signal on it.  Melissa doesn't look scared, she looks like she wants to pull a me and destroy something."  He paged down.  "Ishi doesn't look that scared, but he does look worried.  They're heading to a compound inside the nearest mountain.  He'll write later about the security features.  He's painting landscapes today."  He cleared the message and checked for a new one.  Nothing from her panic button.  He handed it back. "They're still fine.  Melissa has her panic button, which will send a signal to the satellite for us. Nothing blocks it at that frequency, but some local radio stations will get fuzz for a few seconds."

"We can handle that," Lupin agreed.   He got comfortable, looking at Xander.  "Where did this one come from?"

"Lease," he said fondly.

"Uh-huh.  And I believe that too," Lupin said smartly.

"Well, the same company that owns the ship also customizes planes so I lease it from my own company," he admitted.  "We do leased flights for executives and the like."

"You can live without this life, can't you?" Lupin asked finally.  Xander grinned and nodded.  "So you took some profits and invested wisely?"

"Hell yeah!  Do you think I want to do this when I'm eighty?  I want to be retired on a beach somewhere playing with the grandkids.  When I start aching like I was before, I'm retiring, Lupin.  No ifs, ands, or begging is going to stop me.  I'm going to retire to live out the rest of my life in quiet peace and play with the future grandkids."

"That's probably another thirty years," Jigen reminded him.  Xander shrugged.  "You're going to do this that long?"

"Some.  I do some of that stuff now and then too," he reminded him. "Melissa's only taking over the non-legit stuff.  The legit stuff I have someone else running for me and I'm the evil mastermind behind the plans."  They all chuckled at that, Xander could be like that at times.  "By the way, Arsene, you left some underwear on the ship.  It was sent back to the house."

"Thanks, mom."

"Welcome, dear.  Remember, I'm only going to be playing with the grandchildren, you guys get to raise them."

"Of course, mom," she said patiently.  "Then again, that presumes I'm having children."

"You will some day, there's got to be a Fifth," Lupin the Third reminded her.

"Fine.  I'll push out one.  Only one.  You'd better hope it's a good thief."  She got up to grab a magazine off a nearby table. "This is pretty nice.  Ours is smaller and more functional."

"You didn't need something this size, but the company has hosted top-secret product meetings with some toy and computer companies in mid-air.  That way no one can spy on their ideas."

"They're fairly paranoid," Lotus complained.

"Very, but they paid the company a half million for two hours for that meeting.  Plus any food they wanted stocked."  Everyone stared in shock.  "For just a ferrying job like this one we get six grand an hour."

"That's an eighty percent profit over the cost of the pilot and the gas," Jigen said in awe.  Xander nodded, grinning smugly at him.  "Wow."

"Very wow.  We get a reduced rate for the syndicate.  We only pay about two, which covers everything nicely."

"Wow," Lupin said in awe.  "That's expensive."

"Yeah, but there's no screaming kids, no cramped seats, no talkative seat mates.  No seat mates period.  You can stretch out and work during the flight.  You can figure things out in peace.  We've had people who designed their presentations on the way to their next job.  We've had one guy who bought one of the planes after leasing it for six rides over six months.  There's a bed, a meeting area, and very comfortable seats.  Then again, we also take some stars around, but mostly still business clients. We do a lot of work out of JFK airport in New York."

Lupin had his mouth closed by his daughter pushing on his chin.  "Wow," he breathed.  "We can backdate the prenup if you want, Xander."

Xander pulled one out of his briefcase.  "I took what you said and had Murami have someone draw it up."  He presented it to him.  "This isn't for you, Jigen.  That's his empire against mine stuff."

Jigen nodded. "That's fine.  Do I have one?"

Xander grinned at him. "Do you need one?"

"No," he admitted with a small smirk.  "You naughty thing."

"Very."  He looked at Lupin.  "That's what you said, right?"  Lupin nodded, glancing at him.  "That's considered a palimony agreement so it can be signed after the wedding."

"Sure, Xander.  Does it need notarized?"

"It already has been."

"Cool."  Lupin went back to reading, Murami was watching out for him in this thing.  There were stipulations if he did Xander wrong and tighter ones for Xander if he cheated and broke them back up.  "There's a clause in here saying any kids are joint property and to be shared? You really want that?"

"Hell yes. That solves problems in case some odd occurrence happens and you get pregnant thanks to those stupid chokers.  That way the kid is already mine, registered as mine, and I have full authority to treat and all that without extra paperwork.  That would put my name on the birth certificate as the father.  That would also allow me to take custody of the child in case something happened to the birth parent. Or if it's yours and Jigen's, allow me to get partial custody in case something happens.  It's a formality of what we knows going to happen anyway, Lupin."

"You do know this doesn't include all your assets and therefor is challengeable?"

"Yup, but there's a clause in there stating that you're not due anything but presents from the assets from the legit side of the business since having yours or my name attached to them would make them flounder and fail.  It'd be bad for business and you agree that it's bad for business."

Lupin nodded.  "Seems reasonable enough, but I will expect presents," he said with a grin. Xander pulled something out of his briefcase and tossed it to Jigen, who smiled at the limited edition Zippo lighter.  "That's nice.  Where's mine?"

Xander smirked at him.  "He earned his last night, Lupin.  You haven't yet."

Lupin's eyes narrowed.  "On the plane, in front of everybody?"

"There's a meeting area."  He winked.  "Later.  Finish reading."

"Fine."  Lupin went back to reading, shifting so his hardon wouldn't rub against the zipper of his pants.  It was distracting.

"What did Daddy Jigen do last night?" Arsene asked with a smirk.

"Something Thomas taught you," Xander shot back, smirking back.  She blushed. "Nothing you need to know about, it's commemorating another milestone reached."

"It's pretty, Xander, thank you," Jigen said, using it to light his next cigarette.

"We're in a closed environment and some of us don't smoke," Lotus complained.

"Tough.  You'll be smoking in a few years."

"I doubt it, I have more respect for my body than to pollute it," Lotus complained.  She heard a fan go on overhead. "Filtering?" she asked hopefully.  Xander nodded.  "Cool."

"We've had them installed on all the planes.  The major airlines could but they'd also have to put up an extra wall or curtain for them to work most effectively and won't spend the extra money to do that.  Sixty grand each times the whole flight line of United is a lot of money."

"It is," Lupin agreed, coming to the last page.  He picked up a pen and signed his name.  "There."  Xander took the pen and signed his.  "We're official?"

"We're official," Xander agreed.

"Good, then I believe you challenged me, Xander."  He got up and pulled his husband into the back room, pausing to make sure the kids were asleep before closing themselves in the meeting room.  "Someone left a briefcase."

"He was looking for that too. I'll give it to the pilot in a few minutes," he promised.  Someone should have checked back here so he'd be yelling at someone too.  Lupin took his mind off that by unzipping his pants, making him moan.  "Oh, yeah," he sighed.  Lupin chuckled and went to work on him, fully expecting Xander to reciprocate.  It would relieve some tension and stress before they landed.   They'd pounce Jigen in a few minutes to make him relax too.

***

Melissa looked at the plans she had been presented with, then up at the people watching her.  "Which language is this in?  It's more obscure than the six I've studied."

"We think it's in Abacus."

"I know that one," she snorted, bending back over the plans again.  She took out a magnifying glass so she could look at the small characters easier.  "It's not in Abacus.  It's in Thrist.  And it's in code.  There's a key," she noted calmly.

"Can you read it?"

"If we can break the code.  Unfortunately I'm not the one who's the best at that.  Ishi is."  Not quite a lie, but useful.

"Fine, we'll bring your fiance back," the head thug said, snapping his fingers.  "Bring his sword too, he won't be getting out of here unless he wants to cut through the whole mountain.  It'll make him feel better."  Ishi was walked in and handed his things.  "Help her.  There's a code."

"You'll let us go?"

"We'll see," the head thug offered, walking his people off.  Two of them stayed at the entrance to the room, on the inside.

Ishi sat down beside Melissa, giving her a long look.  She had lied and said he was her fiance when they had found him.  That's why he was still living.  "Code?"

"Yeah, code," she offered.  "It's in grunt and point too."  Code for can we escape.

"Pleasure to read," he offered dryly.  Code for not yet, too many of them.  He took the plans, lifting them to the light.  "There's watermarks I don't understand."

"That's from the demonic library," she said after looking.   This was something they'd be taking with them when they left.  No one deserved one of these things to make an instant Hellmouth to suck the city down into.  "Daddy would be throwing a fit."

"True," Ishi agreed, glancing at her and grinning.  "Could be worse, we could be under a mountain and have thousands of people surrounding us."  Their guards looked confused but shook it off quickly.

"True," she agreed, leaning against his side for comfort.  It was time to engage her planning skills.  She did not want to be here.  "I wonder what happened to the original maker?"

Ishi glanced at her. "It's probably dead. I'm sure someone in hell is not a happy camper at the moment."

"I'm sure Mom'll get a head's up."

"Your mother can't get in here either," one of the guards sneered.

"You'd be surprised where Sylvia can get," Melissa sneered back.  "After all, she got into many places where she shouldn't have."  The guard looked nonplused.  "I'm sure you'll be finding out soon enough."  She went back to pointing at the key.  "That's the key from what I can tell.  This isn't my best language."

"Azural is Ka is Bah or Kay?" he translated.  "It goes into hieroglyphs?"  He looked at Melissa.  "If so, we're *way* out of our league here.  We'll have to do a search for hieroglyphs to get a translation, then translate it into a phonetic key."

"Shit," she sighed.  "This could take months.  Which one is Azural?"   Ishi pointed at the mark. "Okay....that's not a widely used one."

"No, but from five random points within a code like this you can find the others out," he noted dryly, leaning back and putting an arm around her shoulders.  "Tell your boss what we found out.  We'll either need a linguist who knows hieroglyphs or internet access."

"I need to check in with the empire anyway, they've got to be in a panic since we disappeared."  Code for someone will see us once we're on there.

"Good point."  He gave her a gentle squeeze.  "It's interesting since this grunt and point language has over six thousand letters and hieroglyphs are more limited."

"Six thousand letters?" one of the guards asked.  "Why?"

"Because they're demons and they have a wider vocal and sound range," Melissa chastised.  "You can't expect every intelligent species to speak Human!  How arrogant are you?"

"Watch it, girly, we can find someone else now that you've gotten that far."

"I doubt it.  Even a true linguist wouldn't recognize this language.  There's sixteen people in the world who can read Thrist.  Me, somewhat, my mother, and ten Watchers, plus a few ambassadorial demons."  She smiled sweetly at him. "Did you really want to meet Mom or Lavelle?"

"Who's he?" the other guard asked.

"Lupin's other gunman."

"He was kinda tortured by someone who spoke this language natively," Ishi explained.  "He speaks it, reads it, and can think in it.  And you're fucked if he comes for us.  He's like our second mother."  They shook their heads but one went to report that new information.  It was more than they had before. "You know, you could *offer* Lavelle a chance to come do this for you.  He understands the Hellmouth that it's trying to create.  He worked on one for years."

"Huh?" the guard asked.

"This device will open a portal to Hell to suck in a town.  Lavelle is one of the reasons why this happened in Sunnydale."

"Oh."  He shrugged. "We can suggest it but I doubt it'll happen.  After all, we don't want anyone more dangerous than a few kids who're still in training."

Melissa started to retort but Ishi stroked up her arm, telling her to keep quiet.  She looked at him.  Then at the guard.  "This hampers another point, oh great brilliant one.  I'm two days before my next cycle and you guys didn't steal my birth control pills, which help control the hormone swings."

"You can get pregnant," the guard said with a shrug.  "We don't care. We'll be done with you long before you get a chance to feel it kick."

"So not the point," Ishi sighed.  "Melissa becomes slightly...homicidal when she has PMS.  She's killed people in the past and you haven't exactly given her things to control the flow of the blood."

The guard shrugged again.  "If you two would get to work, she wouldn't have to worry about it."

She snorted.  "Fat chance.  You kill me, you bring Hell down on your shoulders.  You kill him and Daddy'll be on your ass like white on rice."

"Too true," Ishi agreed dryly.  The head thug walked back in.  "You picked up someone who can do the work, but only with a lot of help from the internet.  Neither of us is more than passingly familiar with hieroglyphs, plus you're about to be PMS'd to death by her in about two days."  He crossed his arms then put his feet up on the table.  "While I wouldn't mind the challenge, it'll take a bit more than two days."

"We can get her pads."

"I still need my birth control pills," Melissa said dryly.  "They control the hormone swings when I turn homicidal."

"You're a little girl," he snorted.   Before he knew it she had his gun and had blown four of his guards away, leaving him and one of them.  "Already having mood swings?"

"I was due for my pill a few hours ago," she noted.  "Besides I am the daughter of two marksmen."  He nodded at that.  "Now, if you want us to translate this piece of crap to bring Hell onto earth, we can do that.  But only if you make some concessions."  The other guard started to sneer so she shot him in the balls, making him scream in agony as he fell to the floor.  "Pity, but your country is already overpopulated.  One less child."  She looked at the head thug again.  "Your choice.  There's sixteen people on this planet who can read the original language and only one knows what it means.  The others only theorize it."  The head thug looked speculative.  "It's a formal language used by the Holy Fallen Ones."

"Fine," he agreed.  "Who?"

"Ten Watchers who think they know, four ambassadors to Hell who may know enough for simple requests, me somewhat, and Lavelle or my mother.  He can actually speak in it.  Either we need Lavelle or we need a Fallen One.  I can't call them though.  That would be Lotus' job in the group."

"How would we find this Lavelle?"

"I can send out a coded message for him to come here.  Of course, he will kill you."

"I'm sure he'll try," the head thug said smugly.

"He's the one who trained me to shoot."  She pointed the gun at him again. "There's two bullets left by weight.  Your choice."

"You kill me, you'll die in here."

"It'd be better than being at the mercy of your stupidity."

He considered it.  They could become hostages instead.  If they screwed up, they were both very pretty.  "Fine, I will let you call this Lavelle and allow you some limited internet usage to research the hieroglyphs. Why did they translate it that way?"

"Six thousand letters and sounds."

"Oh.  That's fine."  He walked out, leaving her with the gun.  She couldn't take them all down with two or three bullets.

Melissa flopped back down.  "I don't want to watch the dead bodies mildew either," she called after him.

"Isn't that my job in the group?" Ishi asked, taking the gun from her.  She nodded, leaning against his side again.  "Then you did a pretty mean impersonation, 'Lis.  I'm impressed."  They shared a grin.  If they could get them to bring in Lavelle, the others could follow him in and rescue them.   Melissa sent up a muttered prayer.  "To Janus?"

"To one of the Fallen Ones.  This is going to get out of hand quickly and they deserve the right to punish their own," she said grimly.  "If Satan knew someone was planning this, he'd be pissed."

"You never know, he might want to take over."

"I doubt it.  Then he'd have to deal with mom and you know how much he hates to."

"Good point," Ishi agreed, cuddling her closer.  They could wait until they could send the message. It was a great tradition to stall.

***

Xander heard the quiet beep of his laptop and got up to answer it.  "Hmm."  He opened it and read the message, then choked.  "They're what?" he asked.  Arsene took the laptop so he snatched it back.  "Stop that."

The bigger Arsene took the laptop to look over, then sighed.  "Fine.  We can play it that way.  At least then we'd know where they are and that they're safe."  He looked at Xander.  "Can you play that part?"

"I'm not playing Sylvia for anyone."

"No, but they said you could read it as well."

"Good point."  He sat down again, considering it. "You could follow my signal inside.  That would give you a method of getting inside. Plus we do have cameras that they can't stop the transmission of."  He tapped his fingers on the table.  "We've got to stop it anyway.  A Hellmouth machine would drive me insane trying to stop it."  Jigen woke up and looked at them.  "They took those two, and Melissa is saying that Ishi is her fiance to keep him nearby and untortured, to translate something in Thrist so they can build a Hellmouth making machine."

"We've got to stop them," Jigen agreed.  "How did they get out a message?"

"The plans have a key, but it goes to hieroglyphs.  There's only so many people on this planet who can read Thrist or speak it.  Sixteen of them."  Jigen shuddered.  "Ten of those are Watchers.  A few are ambassadors from other demon clans.  Her.  And me."

"So they want to bring you to where they are?" Jigen asked.  Xander nodded.  "Can we do that?"

"We can."  Xander got up and headed into the back, popping a panel so he could get into the storage area.  He found the metal cases and hefted two of them out, closing the door again after retrieving Fred.  "You don't need Hell's weapons, little man."  He locked it again and walked the cases up to the front.  "We can do that.  There'll have to be some monitoring.  We have a camera they can't trace or block.  No matter how far under a mountain they are.  I got into Cheyenne Mountain in the US with it and got clear pictures all the way down to the 52nd sub-basement and the aliens they're fighting down there."  He looked at the boxes.  "Let me gear up.  Can you, Lupin?"

"If you show me how to monitor them."

"They're already built into the laptops.  The cameras fire back on an oscillating frequency that mimics subsonic hearing.  The tracers I have on me worked in Cheyenne Mountain as well.  They didn't pick it up and they were using alien technology."

"That was dangerous," Arsene offered.  "Can we do Area 51?"

"No, dear, NID has taken it over and you don't want to run into the psycho freaks who believe in torture being scientific.  They'd try something and then I'd have to take out the base.  Besides, the alien I saw wasn't like the Roswell Grays."  He looked at the boxes again.  "Fine, I can do this.  Lupin, the camera is already hidden on me.  The toggle to record is F8 and to switch views is F12.  To get into that screen, it's under accessories in the directory."  Lupin nodded, going searching for it.  "That's it," he agreed when he found it.  Lupin nodded, filing that away mentally for future reference.  "Now, we send them back a message that I'm coming, with luggage, and that it has to come with me.  I'll travel to a rendevous spot and meet them.  Oh, the mapping feature is F11.  Forgot that one," he added with a grin.  "It's always handy when you're underground."  He patted the top of the box and something inside shifted.  "Shut up, before I douse you in holy water again."  The shifting quit.

"Is something living in there?" Lotus asked.

"Yes, and you're never to touch these boxes, Lotus.  Only someone unholy can.  So swat Marcus if he wants the others."  He got up to break into the ammo box, taking his usual compliment of weapons and spare clips, plus boxes for them.  He created a hidden spot using some demonic skills and put all that into there.  The boxes wouldn't fit but no one was going to find them.  Even if they were demonic.  None of them would dare question him.  He took off his jacket and handed it to Lupin, then got down to his t-shirt and pants.  His casual shoes were changed for boots.  He put on underwear as well.  In short, he went from casual businessman to deadly mercenary-looking man in about six minutes.  The addition of his jacket was just practical.  It was winter in those mountains.  He checked the pocket and shored it back up, drawing the weapons back to him.  He'd need those and no one in Hell was getting in his way.  No way in hell.

***

Lupin looked at the camera feed as Xander was met by the thugs, wincing as Xander struck one who touched the boxes.  "It's in his eye," he told Jigen.

"Well, the glass eye doesn't do much else," he complained from their hotel room.  Someone knocked and Arsene checked before letting Bastian in.  "He's being taken inside now."

"Good."  He handed over his sketchbook and sat down beside Lupin to watch the video.  "Oh, damn, he's got the boxes."

"He had Spider load them onto the plane," Lupin said absently. "What's in that one?"

"Part of a demon."  He squinted.  "He needs to clean that eye again.  It's always getting nasty."  He saw the blink and smiled.  "Much better, Xander."

"His idea?"

"He said it wasn't doing much else.  He's also got something in the camera to tell him distance and wind speed."

Jigen gave him a long stare.  "For targets from a roof?"  Bastian grinned and nodded, brushing back some of his dark hair.  "I'll remember that.  How long?"

"Two years.  Someone finally got it to work without zapping him with the battery."

Lupin frowned, engaging the mapping feature as Xander was led inside the mountain.  He was already taping it.  Someone else knocked so he waved at his daughter.

"Big probs," she announced.

"Plan twelve 'em," Jigen told her.

"Sure."  She opened the door and backhanded Zenigata, then glared at Vecchio.  "Carry him inside, you're going to be in a chair again."

"We're here to help."

"I doubt it.  Can you speak demon or stop the people trying to make a Hellmouth machine?"

"Hellmouth machine?" Zenigata asked, rubbing his jaw.  "You're mean today."

"I'm getting bleed off from Melissa.  She's got PMS by now," she said dryly.  "Inside."  They walked inside and she looked in the hallway.  "Who did you tell you were coming this way?"

"We're chasing Lavelle," Vecchio snorted.  "Everyone knows that."

"They know you're not on his case, Vecchio. *Everyone* knows that," Bastian told him.  "Who did you tell?"

"The travel office in Interpol.  No one else," Zenigata admitted. "I told them it was another Lupin gang siting."

"Fine.  Sit, shut up," Lupin ordered.  "The sound is crappy on this thing unless he yawns."  He swatted at the hands moving toward the keyboard, but Bastian turned up the sound, so they could listen to him breathe.  "Thanks."

"Welcome, Lupin.  How long before we move in?"

"As soon as we see everyone's safe," Lupin offered.  "I only need the map."  That got a round of nods.  "Everyone arm up.  It shouldn't be too much longer."

"We already are, daddy. Should we arm the cops?" Arsene asked.

"I've got mine," Ray pointed out.  She tossed over a box of bullets.  "That'll come in handy," he admitted.  He shared them with his boss, who took some for his pocket as well.  "How many are we looking at?"

"Thousand, maybe a few handful more," Lupin said as he watched.  "Full munitions plant.  Shit!  There's a reactor."

"I'm sure we can figure it out," Jigen said calmly.  "Xander won't let the kids be harmed."

Lupin sat up as the camera was led to a door and it was opened.  The kids jumped up to hug him.  "They're fine."  Jigen and Goemon both looked over his shoulder to check on their kids.  "Unharmed.  Ishi's got a small bruise but it's faded.  Hmm, the boxes.  Shit!"  The camera had went dead.  He looked up, seeing the determined faces.  "We go."

Bastian looked at his phone, then shook his head.  "No, Xander's not sending out an 'I'm ready' code yet.  We can't go until he shields the kids."

"But they're distracted."

"No, they're watching for you," Bastian corrected. "They're not stupid, they're arrogant."  He looked at Goemon.  "There's three things he can do.  He can read the scrolls, which would give them a clue.  He can loose the demon, which will kill everything in there, but can be killed by slicing it into tiny pieces. Or he can do a combination and take the kids into hell to protect them in case that reactor goes too."

"I'd rather my son not visit hell," Goemon said quietly.  "If necessary, we can always help him recover."

"It'd be the waiting areas.  Xander would be able to protect them.  He's got something on him to open a Hellmouth or to summon a Higher One."

"Since when?" Lupin asked.

"Since he figured out what a few more of them were, Lupin.  The hellmouth one is on his thigh.  The one to summon a higher one is on his back in the center of it.  He'd have to have someone else do it.  Melissa could, they share blood."

"It's a bad choice."

"With a munitions plant, an enclosed area, and a reactor, it may be the choice," Bastian reminded him.  He looked at his phone as it vibrated.  "We've got a stay put code from Xander and Melissa.  Xander took the eye out."  He tossed it to Jigen, frowning at him.  "It's going to hit the fan.  Xander can't let them get away with this."  The camera came back, showing a beautiful creature on the screen.

"Hmm, that is an interesting accessory, Consort."

"Just get on with it, Arazul."

"Why should I?"

Xander held the scroll up in front of his face.  Then turned it around so the demon could see it.  The Fallen One went pale.  "Better reasons found yet?"

"That is obscene and would tip the balance more than you," the demon snarled, snatching it to look over.  "This is obscene."

"They stole us to translate it," Melissa said smartly.  "We'd like to stop them too if we can help."

"Honey, calm down, there's a candy bar in my pocket," Xander offered gently, patting her since they could see his arm moving in the corner of the video.  "Now, you can help or not."

"Fine, I will help.  This is something that could get me back in Grace."

"Fine for you, man. I don't care what either side wants at the moment.  I just want my kids safe.  There's a munitions plant and a nuclear reactor out there."  The demon groaned.  "So, we want safe passage through your section to come out in either Sunnydale or Cleveland."

"Sunnydale would be easier, someone's uncovered the seal again.  Fine, you have my word and safe conduct with my Consort."  He snapped his fingers and a tired looking woman fell at his feet, bowing her head.  "Escort them to the Sunnydale portal.  All of them and that stupid set of boxes.  When are you going to release him?"

"When I'm finished torturing him."

"Fine, Consort.  Thank you for this opportunity to ascend again."  He reopened the portal and the woman stood up, showing her gravid stomach.  "After you are done, go bathe and rest," he ordered.  She nodded.  "If I do ascend, you shall not be harmed."

"If you do ascend, I'll make sure she gets out," Xander offered.  The Fallen One nodded at that and shook hands with him, then Xander let the kids walk between them.  The portal closed, leaving the boxes there.  That was the last image.

Lupin looked at Marcus.  "Get us someone in Sunnydale.  Now.  I don't care how."

"My ship's in LA, his is in San Fran," Arsene reminded him.

"Good idea.  They can have nightmares in peace and none of the demon hunters can go on water," Bastian agreed.   "Yours or his?"

"Mine, it's smaller and unknown," Lupin offered.  "Besides, mine's barely fixed, I'd like to enjoy it for a bit."  Everyone nodded so she made a call, scrambling her Captain.  It was only a few hours drive so it'd be almost as fast by ship.   They rushed out, going to help and get out of the way.  If that reactor blew, they wanted to be in another country.  A different plane was waiting on them but the same pilot.  She had already gotten the engines started and they were off before that mountain caved in and a burst of sunlight came down on it.  Or came up from it, no one could tell from the plane.

***

Xander walked out of the Hellmouth and made sure the kids were out before moving further.  "Kids, up on the regular ground," he ordered.  They nodded, shaking as they climbed up out of the hole.  He looked at the consort.  "You can feel him?"

"He has ascended," she said quietly, looking down at her stomach.

"Fine."  Xander hauled her up and out of the hole, then turned and tossed the non-moving box down into it, firing at the locks to open them.  Inside something screamed as it was released but the moment it reentered the portal it closed it.  He looked at the kids. "Ten more minutes," he promised.  "There's cabins."

Melissa nearly jumped as her phone rang, starting to cry.  She opened it, seeing the text message.  "Our ship is in the harbor."

"Fine.  Let's head.  I remember the way and it's not like there's much here," Xander offered gently.  She nodded.  "Are you all right?"

"It was horrible, mom.  How did you stand that?"

"I survived, baby girl.  That's what was important."  He noticed Ishi was being stoic again and gave him a hug too.  "You okay?"

"I'll break down on the ship," he said quietly.  "Please."

"Sure.  It's about a mile off.  Head for the water," he said, pointing.  They headed at a quick jog, pulling the other woman with them.  They found a boat waiting on them and got them all into it, watching the land as they pulled away and headed back to the former cruise ship.  Once on board, Xander pulled the other woman down to the infirmary, trusting his daughter to know that someone was going to be needed.  The man in there snapped a salute.  "Doctor or medic?"

"Doctor, sir.  Graduated from Harvard, lost my license due to drugs."

"You high now?"

"No, sir, completely cleaned up and using a Mexican license."

"Good.  She was impregnated and tortured by something demonic and Fallen.  She's pregnant.  She'll need a lot of fluids and treated for shock.  She may have tattoos or other carved symbols on her, if so they may need to be removed."  The doctor nodded, taking the woman to put her onto the bed so he could check her over.  "She's tired, man.  Treat her like a victim of kidnaping and horrible torture who was found after a few years.  That's what she is."

"Thank you, sir.  Are you all right?  Our mistress briefed us that you may have been injured further."

"No, I'm fine.  I got into a fight but nothing major.  The kids are shaken.  You might want to send a light sedative up to our room."  He looked at the consort.  "Did you want me here?"

"No.  Watch for the hunters."

"They can't get to you on water," he reminded her.  "Nor will they get to you in LA.  Take us to LA, she's got to go to someone there.  I don't trust most people but I would trust them."  He turned and walked off, going to check on the kids.  They were in the showers so he waited to hug them.  He went into a clean room to change clothes, finding a t-shirt and a pair of jeans in there.  He paused when he heard a shower stop.  "Are these clothes for me or Ishi?"

"You," Ishi called. "I've got my own."

Xander got dressed, leaving his feet bare.  He walked out, going to hug his son.  "Are you really all right?"

"That thing shot horrible visions into our minds."

"They're nightmares, Ishi, nothing more.  They didn't happen to you and they won't happen to you," he promised as he rocked him.

"Did they happen to you?" he asked quietly, not letting go.

"Ishi, most of those were pretty mild compared to what I went through," he admitted after a moment's silence.  "I survived, that's all that needs to be said," he repeated.  "Just think of them as nightmares.  They didn't happen to you.  It was like watching a really sickening movie."

"Hollywood wouldn't let that out," he said, pulling back to look at his uncle.  "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine," he promised.  "I can sleep knowing we saved that other woman from them.  You?"

"I'll be fine.  I must push them out of my head since they're not mine.  They will never happen to me."

"They won't.  If someone tries then I get to beat the shit out of them," he promised. He had done that to the demon who had tried to do those things to them, after blocking it so it was only nightmares.  The kids didn't need to be tortured and nothing was touching them from that plane ever again.  He'd have them marked in their sleep to protect them if he had to.  Ishi nodded, hugging him again.  "There's a doc on board.  He can give you a light sedative if you want."

"Please.  I know I won't sleep without one."

"Then I'll go get you one after I check on Melissa."

"I will.  She's still in the shower."

"I'm her daddy, Ishi, I can do that."  He stroked his cheek.  "Go watch the sunset."  Ishi nodded, going to do that.  Xander went to his daughter's room, tapping gently before walking into the bathroom.  He found her curled up in the shower crying and pulled her up to hold her, turning off the shower.  "It's all right.  They were only nightmares."

She nodded against his chest.  "I know, mommy."  She looked up at him.  "It's just reaction," she promised.  "It's over with, I'll never have to see anything that gruesome again."  He gave her a gentle smile.  "I've got to finish cleaning up.  I started my cycle down there."

He kissed her on the forehead.  "That's fine, princess.  I'll get you a mild sedative, the same as I'm doing for Ishi, and you can both sleep on the couch while I sit up for a while longer."

"Thank you, mommy."  She gave him another hug then got back into the shower to finish cleaning herself up.

Xander went down to the infirmary again, tapping before he walked in.  "How is she?"

"She's fine," the doctor assured him.  "I sedated her.  I've checked her over and done an ultrasound of the child.  It has wings."

"It should, it's father did," he admitted.  "Face me please."  The doctor faced him and he could see the creature possessing him.  Apparently a hunter had been stuck on her before she had left. "Out of him.  She'll need him."

"She is ours, Consort, as you are."

"Hunter, you're on open water.  Out of his body, before I have to destroy you. It could harm him too much and I don't feel like destroying an innocent today."  The demon sneered so he took him and pushed him into the water, making the demon scream and leave him.  He sent out a line, waiting for the doctor to climb up since they were moving so slowly.  "You better now?"

"I thought you were kidding."

"I'm not.  The kids need a mild sedative and I need to call someone in LA."

"Thank you, sir."  He hurried back to his infirmary, going to pray in there over the woman's body.  He wasn't faithful before but now he was.  With that evidence he was going to be the most devout person on the face of the earth.  He put out the bottle of sedatives, trusting him to find them.  The woman was moaning so he checked her over again, but she would be fine.

Xander grabbed the bottle off the counter and took it back to the room, going to call LA.  He found the number online from Arsene's computer and dialed it on the speaker.

"Angel Investigations," a familiar and much loved voice said.

"Cordy?  Aren't you ascended?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, but I got sent back to help you this time.  What's going on?"

"Some kook in China had a plan to make a Hellmouth machine written in Thrist.  They took my daughter to read it.  I showed up, I called one of the Fallen Ones to deal with it since there was a reactor as well as a munitions factory there.  We ended up going through Hell to get out of there in a timely and efficient manner.  The Fallen One gave me his consort and she's out with us.  She's pregnant, the baby's got wings.  He ascended."

"Wow, you don't come with easy problems, do you, Xander?" Fred's voice asked, sounding like she was smiling.  "Is she worse than you or better?"

"She's sensate, but presently knocked out.  She's pregnant, she's got a few marks but nothing much, but the Hunters have her scent.  Another one wanted her child.  I took out another link in the hierarchy to get us all free."

"Done.  We'll meet you at the docks tonight," Cordy said.  "You and your kids all right?"

"They're having nightmares.  We ran into the another fighter and he sent out some...graphic images of what he could be doing to them.  Fairly light considering.  He clearly underestimated them and me.  So they're going to be sleeping curled up on a couch under light sedation.  I'll be up.  We're on our way back from Sunnydale to LA by ship."

"Where are you now?" Fred asked.

Xander looked out the window.  "Just passing out of the Sunnydale harbor and heading to the open water.  Hunters can't cross or live in water."

"Fine, we'll take that into account," Cordy offered. "There's a holy island further up the coast.  She can go there."

"Thanks, Cordy.  See you in a few hours."  He closed the connection and watched the kids curl up together, then sighed and stared outside.  He repressed the memories again, making sure he would be able to sleep too.  The phone beside him rang so he answered it. "Lupin the Fourth's desk."  He smiled at the tired voice on the other side.  "Thanks, princess.  No, they're fine. They're lightly sedated and sleeping.  The Consort I pulled up is being treated for her injuries."  He sat up as a flashed happened.  "Hold on."  He called the LA number again. "Cordy?  No, it's Xander, Connor.  We're just leaving Sunnydale and there was a flash up here.  I'm not sure what it was.  No, center of town, not near the Hellmouth.  That was on the western edge.  Yeah, pass that on."

He hung up and switched back to the other line.  "Sorry for that.  Suspicious flash.  No, I'm fine, Bastian.  They're fine.  There's a consort I pulled out.  No, I released one of the boxes to close it and let the other be buried there."  He let out a goofy sounding chuckle.  "Thanks, man.  No, we're heading for LA to drop off the poor woman we rescued, then we're heading South.  Yeah, South.  That's fine.  You can't park the boat by house in Mexico, but there's a port about two hours away."  He grinned.  "Sure.  No, I'm fine.  The kids have a small sedative.  No, I'm good.  Yeah, I'm sure.  Yeah, that might be a nice thing," he admitted. "No, I left mine there.  Thanks, Bastian.  Sure, love.  Thank you for protecting my treasures."  He hung up and looked down at the kids again, rubbing the empty socket before finding something to cover it with until he could get another glass eye to put in it.

***

Xander looked over as they got off the boat, nodding politely at Connor.  "Just you?"

"I'm usually more than enough on my own, but David's got the car running and Cordy's heading to Sunnydale with Fred to check out the suspicious light."  He looked at the woman. "Are you all right?" he asked patiently.

"I'll be fine once the child is born," she said, looking down at her feet.  "Thank you for trying to protect me."

Xander tipped up her chin.  "These guys do this all the time.  That's their job, dear.  They're subjects of the Powers.  I used to be one of them."  She nodded, then looked down again.  "Okay, Connor be very gentle with her and watch out for the hunters.  They had one placed on her and he tried to possess the doctor, but the doctor ended up in the harbor for a few minutes."  He stopped her, taking something out of his pocket to draw on her neck, making her hiss.  "This will keep the vampires from you.  Around here, it's the most usual," he said quietly. "Go in peace and heal."  She nodded, taking Connor's hand and letting him lead her off.  "Watch her, Connor, or else I'm coming back with Ishi this time."

"That's fine, Xander.  Get going.  They'll be searching for you again," he called back.

Xander got back onto the ship.  "Unless we need more stuff, we can go," he told the captain.

"Our mistress is coming.  She called an hour ago.  They're landing in the city in ten minutes."

"It's an hour drive from the airport," Xander said, thinking about it.  "Fine, leave a launch here and back us into better waters."  The captain looked at him.  "The same thing that inhabited the doctor and that one poor guy can come back if they can cross from the land.  They can't live on open water, they can't cross open water, but if there's a gangplank or a distance they can jump, like under ten feet, they can make it onto the ship."

"As you wish, sir," he agreed.  He looked at his First Mate.  "Set two launches here for the other members of the party.  We'll pulling out into the water."  The First Mate saluted and walked off.  "Are you sure?"

"Very.  I'm not up to slaying at the moment.  I'm damn tired after our bout in hell."  He walked off, heading down to the cabin to check on the kids.  Arsene's ship was smaller, she hadn't really left any floors alone.  There were a few suites that had been converted into a videogame room with a wall of screen from a projection tv.  Another set of rooms on another floor was a practice and workout space.  Everything was set up so the younger kids, plus Goemon's next two, could live on the ship for a very long time if necessary.  The main cabin led to lavish rooms on different floors for each kid.   The guest rooms were very nice as well.  The bathing facilities had been upped on the old ship as well.  Everyone had multi-head showers and jacuzzis waiting on them.  The smallest cabin was the size of an efficiency apartment and had a microwave, hot plate, coffee maker, refrigerator, and mini- bar installed.  The crew's cabins were nice as well.  They each had individual rooms, with a few exceptions of double rooms for a couple of sets of twins.  They had their own entertainment system, including a satellite system of their own.  He'd have to check on his own crew's cabins on his ship.  He wasn't sure if they were as nice.  He walked into their main area and sat down to watch over the kids.  They were still curled up together and napping so it was fine for now.  At least until the others got there.

***

Arsene walked onto her ship last, saluting the captain back.  "Thanks for the launch."

"Your...mother suggested it, ma'am."

"He's smart about those things," she agreed. "It was probably safer."  She glanced around.  "Anything I need to deal with?"

"No, ma'am.  We're at full compliment and fully stocked for the next month.  Where is our next destination?"

"Daddy, are we heading to Mexico for a few days?"

"Yes," he called as he walked off.  "Then we'll have to pull the formal debut job right after that so probably Europe, unless you saw something in Hong Kong."

"Thanks, daddy."  She looked at him.  "The house in Mexico.  As near as you can anyway.  We'll be there for about a week, then we'll be heading.  We'll tell you which way at that point."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed.  "Thank you, ma'am."  He saluted her again, getting one in return before walking off.

Arsene strolled down to their main area, clearing her throat.  "Guest rooms are the next floor down.  You've all got suites there with your name on them.  But go ahead and check on the others first," she agreed at Jigen's hostile look.  "That's where I'm heading too."  She got past them to open the door, smiling at the pretty picture they all made sleeping.  "Awww."  The adults pushed past her to hug the others, leaving her and Lotus to smirk at each other and wrangle the kids down to their rooms.  They met Marcus in the hall on the way back.  "Down a flight, and turn toward the front of the ship," Arsene told him.  "Their names are on the doors."

"Thank you, Arsene."  He gave her a gentle hug, gave one to Lotus, then sneezed and went down the stairs.

Lotus wiped off her cheek, making a grossed out face.  "Eww."  They headed back to the suite, smiling at the parents huddled around the kids, and Lupin now sitting with Xander in his lap, still sleeping. "The kids are settled in and Marcus is headed that way as well."

"That's fine," Goemon agreed.  "Thank you, girls."

"Not an issue, father.  I know you want to hold him for a few more hours.  Do you want to know which is his room?"  He nodded, picking up his son to follow her.  He looked impressed at the nice suite his son had so she grinned.  "He picked out most everything but I got final say on the bed since he was indecisive.  There's a trundle as well since we figured the little kids wouldn't want to sleep downstairs sometimes."  His father nodded, putting his son onto his bed and pulling out the lower trundle bed.  "Have a good night, father.  I'm upstairs above you.  Melissa and Arsene share the other side in the same manner."  She smoothed out her brother's blankets.  "You rest.  You're in bed now, Ishi," she said quietly, then she left, going up to her room.  Lupin was carrying Xander out and Jigen was taking his daughter to her room.  "Where are we heading next, Ar?"

"Mexico."

"Okay.  Then where?"

"Formal debut job."

"Wow.  Which?"

"I don't know.  Hong Kong or Europe?  We'll meet tomorrow to narrow down the list then present it to Daddy."  She grinned from her door.  "Sleep well, Lotus."

"You too, Ar."  She closed her door and took off her shirt so she could lie down as well. It was probably going to be a fairly long night.  She heard Arsene cackle and shook her head. "Must have been in her email.  Either that or her toychest was added to."  She finished stripping off and got under her covers.  She could check her email in the morning.

***

Lupin looked around the trio's suite, smiling at the prettiness of the design.  Fairly simple and clean.  Lots of pale creams and light blues.  It looked a lot like a good hotel room.  He settled Xander on the bed, stripping him down so they could cuddle together.  He dove out of his clothes, burrowing into the warm chest.  "Xander," he called softly.

"Hmm?  What's wrong?"

"It's just me, Xander."

Xander kissed him.  "Love you too, Alan."

Lupin swatted him. "Xander!"  Xander frowned, blinking and squinting at him. "I'm not Alan!"

"Sorry, Arsene.  Forgive me?" he asked sleepily, putting an arm around him to give him a gentle kiss.  "Love you."

"I love you too, goof ball.  Did you need to talk to or to do more than cuddle?"

"No, I'm good," Xander said with another yawn.  "They only shot nightmares at us.  Where's Bastian?"

"Gone to find a pretty woman for the night.  He said he's going back on vacation and that he'll email you in a few days.  He'll also check on Homer to make sure he's not in a snit."

"Cool.  Homer's a nice guy, if big and broad and sweet."  He yawned again.  "Sleep, Lupin. Need sleep."

"Of course you do, Xander.  Use me as a pillow and I'll make sure you don't have any bad dreams."  Xander nodded, curling up on Lupin's chest, one arm thrown across him. One leg moved over Lupin's thigh, making Lupin smile.  It wasn't often Xander wrapped him up but when he did it was usually a long night of being held, which was okay with him because Xander would probably want more in the morning.

***

Jigen woke up when his daughter stepped on the bed beside him, watching as she wandered out to the bathroom.  He got up to follow her, not minding when she slammed the door in his face.  "You all right?" he called quietly.

"Fine.  Having my fucking cycle.  Go back to bed, daddy."

"Sure, princess.  If you want to talk, I'm here."

"Let me change my tampon first.  I doubt you want to hear me do that."

He shuddered and went back to his trundle bed, tipping his hat back some.  His daughter ran some water, then came back drying her hands off on her shirt. "Your towel's on the back of the door."  She nodded, smirking at him.  "You okay?"

"Daddy said it was trying to intimidate us by throwing nightmares at us," she admitted, curling up beside him so she could get a cuddle.   "This is a lot more comfortable than a Japanese mat," she said in appreciation, making him chuckle. "Ishi has one too.  Lotus picked out the beds."  She put her head on his shoulder, one arm going over his chest.  "I'm fine, daddy, they were just nightmares and I'll be okay.  They were scary and creepy, but I can get over the nastiness."

"That's my girl," he said proudly.  "Remember, if you need help, I'm here."

"Of course.  Where else would you be?"  She grinned up at him. "You gave up a king sized bed with Daddy Lupin and Mom for me?"

"You're my daughter, of course I did," he reminded her.  "Just like when you were younger and needed to crawl in beside me.  I can always go cuddle them, but you needed me more."  He ran a finger down the tip of her nose.  "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, daddy.  It was just nightmares."  She snuggled in again.  "Night, daddy."

"Night, baby girl.   You rest.  I'll shoot the nightmares if they come back."

"Just don't hit my head," she agreed with a grin against his shoulder. "I'm sorry if I overbleed and make you nasty tonight.  We've got a laundry."

"Sure, kiddo."  He stroked her back, letting her drift off in his arms.  It was nice, she wasn't a greedy cuddler like Xander was.  Xander would wrap you up under him and hold you there, no matter what, and pout and make whimpering noises if you needed to get free while he was asleep.  Plus, his daughter wasn't going to be in a horny mood in the morning and use that cuddling as a point to jump him from, it'd be a very nice change.

***

Lupin looked up as Jigen joined them, looking him over. "You need to change, man, she got you nasty."

"I noticed."  He went into the bathroom to shower and change, coming out in a towel a few minutes later.  "My bag?"

"In the closet."

"Thanks."  He got his clothes and put some on, shoving his old suit in the bin marked laundry.  "There, I'm done."  Lupin smirked at him.  "What?"

"You're so transparent," he said with a smirk.  "How is she?"

"Cuddlesome but fine.  A few nightmares, nothing more.  She said the demon only shot nightmares at them.  Seen Goemon yet?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "I got a note saying we're due up there for breakfast when we get up."  Jigen nodded, lighting a cigarette before coming over to sit on his other side. "Xander's mostly fine but he refused sex to go back to sleep."

"He'll be fine, Lupin.  He survived before, a few more nightmares aren't going to drive him over the edge," he said quietly.  "We'll be there to help him and the kids."

"True."  Lupin sat up to get a kiss, and to steal the cigarette before laying back down.  "There, I feel better now," he said smugly.

"Asshole," Jigen said fondly.  "Where are we headed?"

"Mexico to Xander's house.  Then to the debut job."

"That's fine.  Heard the kids yet?"

"Yup, sure have.  I also heard Marcus chasing after them calling for them to slow down.  Apparently Alex wanted to find a dolphin to pet."  They shared a grin for the antics of their daughter.  "Goemon?"

"He's up and with the kids.  Ishi and Melissa both have trundle feather beds under theirs. I'm betting Ishi rolled off to stop him from snoring a few times."

Lupin grinned at that.  Goemon did snore sometimes and it was really loud.  "I can see that.  We should get up."

"Wanna let Xander sleep?"

"We probably should.  He's exhausted."  He grunted as a big arm flopped over his chest, wincing as the air was allowed back in.  "Fine, I won't move yet, Xander."  Xander mumbled against his neck, then licked it.

Jigen laughed.  "You're in such trouble now," he taunted.  He stood up and tipped his hat back down.  "See you two up there for food."  He headed back, going to check on the kids.  The little ones had Marcus in the practice room while they crawled over the three-story setup and courses.  He whistled.  That was a pretty ropes and balance course they had set up.  "Guys, food," he called.  They scrambled down and ran over to hug him, patting him as they walked him back up to the other kids' suite.  "Marcus," he called as he was led out.  "C'mon."

"Coming," he said in his stuffed-up voice.  He sneezed a few more times then followed blowing his nose.  "I can't believe I caught a cold off Kowalski," he complained as he walked into the upper suite.

"Were you two kissing?" Ishi asked dryly.  "I'm not sure Bix would like that."

"I was helping them arrange for some baby furniture to be moved from storage," he chastised, still sounding stuffed up.  He sneezed again.  "He sneezed on me so I caught his cold right after I had the flu."  He sat down with an orange and peeled it, eating it slowly.  He needed more fruit anyway.  "These are nice."

"They're from an orchard the local Don in LA owns," Arsene told him, grinning at him.  "Tissues are in the pop-up stand under the ottoman's top."  He smiled as he pushed the button, taking the open box out, and the other one just in case.  "Trash can is beside you by the way."

"Thank you, Arsene."

"You're welcome, Uncle Marcus."  She looked at her cohorts.  "Okay, we've got it narrowed down to two targets.  Hong Kong, or Istanbul."

"Where in Istanbul?"

"There's two palaces, a few museums," Melissa offered, before eating a bite of fried eggs.  "I figure we can pick two targets."

"True," Goemon agreed.  "What about Hong Kong?"

"There''s a few museums," Lotus told him.

"I want to visit the headquarters of the bank and the stock exchange to get back the money they took from us," Melissa said bitterly.

"Or there's the police museum," Arsene offered with a smirk.

"There's a police museum?" Jigen asked.  "Where?"

"The old Wanchai Gap Police Station," she said smugly.  "We saw it on a map in the mall."  The other kids nodded.  "So you guys could do that while we went to get the filthy crooks who devalued our investments back."

"What did they do?" Goemon asked patiently.

"Oh, they blatantly stole a mutual fund we all had a bit invested in.  Nothing too serious, but we can't let corporations take advantage of us."

"They'll get theirs, that's more for the computer crooks," Jigen reminded her.  He picked up a muffin.  "Your cook doesn't do a morning spread?"

"No, we eat in here, the staff gets their own all-hours buffet.  We are nowhere near as chummy as mom is with his staff.  Mine salute me," Arsene said dryly.  "They know who signs the paychecks and they act like it."

Melissa nudged her.  "I sign the paychecks, they still salute you."

"Good point.  Then again, you've got your own empire," she pointed out dryly.

"True," she offered with a grin.  "I still like how mom can do that with his captain.  It's like the man listens because he's so wise."

"He's lived an awful lot," Ishi pointed out.  "The captain can't probably hope to match his experience in more than seamanship."  He bit into his own eggs.  "They overcooked mine again."

"I'll remind 'em you don't like your eggs to be crunchy," Lotus offered.  "We're setting menus tonight anyway."

"Thanks, sis."

"Welcome, Ishi.  Are you all right?"  She stroked his arm.  "I know it had to be scary."

"We weren't near the scary parts.  We were in the residential section," he said grimly.  "Someone wanted the woman who was escorting us so mom had to fight.  He only sent nightmares at us."  She gave him a hug.  "Thanks, Lotus."

"You're welcome, Ishi."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You need a girlfriend to cuddle when you have bad nights."

"I'm not ready to settle down yet," he complained, wiping off his cheek.  "Eat, sister.  You'll never get a proper husband if you waste away from starvation."

"Yes, dear.  Not that I'm looking or anything," she sighed, digging back in.  She changed plates with her brother, making him smile.  "They gave me yours."

"They do that sometimes," Arsene reminded her.  She looked at the uncles.  "We're good with whichever site you want.  We were going to be staying on the ship for a bit after this to plan a few more.  Since no one knows what ours looks like at the moment."

"That's an interesting idea," Goemon agreed.  "Would you like to do Europe or Asia?"

"Actually, we want to do South America for a few hits, then do some in Africa, then head back up to Europe.  It saves plane wear and tear since we're now looking for a new pilot.  Ours apparently had a bout of conscience and fired herself."  She sipped her juice, smiling as her father came in.  "Morning, daddy.  Hi, mom."  Xander grunted and headed for a couch to lay down.  "Did he take a sedative?"

"Yeah, I gave him some when he woke up screaming last night," Lupin offered, coming up to take a place at the table.  "This is nice.  No buffet?"

"No, daddy, we have a business and professional relationship with our staff on here.  The crew gets their all-hours buffet for nibbling and to compensate for shifts, but we have set meals. Eat, Ishi. You've got to watch the kids play today."

"Sure," he agreed with a grin for the kids.  Marcus sneezed.  "You should probably go back to bed, Uncle Marcus.  I've got the three of them today."

"Thank you, Ishi.  You're a very kind child," he said, getting up and heading down to bed with the two boxes of tissues.

Lupin got up and tossed the one that had missed the trashcan away, going to wash his hands in the kitchen area before coming back.  "What have we got figured out?"

"Do you want Hong Kong or Istanbul?"

"Targets?"

"Two palaces and museums in Istanbul, plus a few rich people's houses.  In Hong Kong, there's a few museums, and there's the police museum."

"We're heading to Japan after this," Lupin said patiently.  "Hong Kong, guys?"  Goemon and Jigen shrugged.  "Xander?  Hong Kong for a destination?"  Xander waved a hand.  "Does that fit with your plans, kids?"

"That's fine with us.  We can visit Cali after that," Lotus offered.

"No going near the cartels," all the fathers said in unison.

"You don't wanna tangle with the drug cartels," Jigen added, staring at his usually sensible daughter.  "That's like doing a job in Sicily and having to deal with the Three Old Men."

"Fine," she agreed.  "So Ecuador or Chile?"

"Or Peru," Ishi reminded her.  "Not much there however and it's a very poor country."

"Most of that area is," Lupin agreed.  "What did you want in Cali?"

"There's a neat little statue down there," Arsene explained. "It's an ancient artifact of a woman.  It's beautiful, daddy."

"It's probably a holy artifact and we taught you better than that," Lupin reminded her.  "No going near the cartels."

"Fine, what about Iquique, Chile?" Lotus asked.  "There's a nasty little man down there who deserves to be tortured but we could settle for simply stripping him of everything he holds dear."

"He's done what to the group?" Goemon asked his daughter.

"Nothing much, he only dumped his last wife while she was dying and pregnant in the middle of the street and had her shot because it was a female child," Melissa told him. "He's fairly rich, owns a lot of ranches and things in the area.  One of the local big wigs."

"Some pretty jewels from his former wife's collection," Arsene agreed.  "Nothing too great though, just a minor annoyance on the butt of feminism, daddy."  She smiled sweetly.  "Can we?"

"We'll see."  He stared at his daughter, then shook his head.  "As long as you're careful."

"Thank you, daddy."  She hugged him with a grin. "Then we'll be on to move to Africa and get a few of the idiots over there, then come back for Carnival in Brazil and some of the massive things there that aren't the costumes.  Then we'll hit Europe again to pick up you guys for a short R&R."

"That sounds like a good first year," Jigen agreed.  "Goemon?"

"That does sound very well thought out.  Are any of them good targets or ones like the one in Chile?"

"Some are like that. Some are necessary to help some poor people.  There's a dictator in Africa who said women should have their mouths sewn shut so the men could eat.  But of course not other parts so they can have sons," she said bitterly.   "That one's going to be a redistribution job.  We plan on at least one of those a year."

"Good," Lupin agreed.  "We've done some of that in the past."

"No joining some revolutionary party," Jigen warned his daughter.  "Support the cause on the outside, not from the inside."

"Of course, daddy.  I don't want to join a revolutionary army.  I'd look sucky in a uniform."  The adults smiled at that so she grinned back.  "So we're on for Hong Kong then, right?"  They all nodded.  "Cool.  Museums or private citizens?"

"Citizens.  There's a few things I'd *love* to have," Arsene purred.

"Remember, you're not a collector like your mother," Lupin reminded her.

"Yeah, I know.  I know how to be careful.  Even he does, even though he's been caught in the past."

"Good girl," Lupin said, hugging her again.  "I'm so proud!"

"Daddy, if you start crying on me, I'll have to get snarky.  It's a genetic thing with teenagers," she reminded him as she patted him on the back.  He pulled back laughing.  "Thanks, dad.  Mom?"  He grunted from the couch.  "Hungry?"  Xander flipped her off. "I'll take that as a no."  She dug back into her breakfast.  "Eat!"  They all ate. "We'll work on the targets and the letters later, once we're free of the house in Mexico."

"Can we see his storehouse?" Jigen asked.

"Ask him, we can't get into it unless he authorizes it," Melissa said patiently.  "Not even me."

"Fine," Lupin sighed.  "We'll see then.  Xander, babe, want a chocolate muffin?"  Xander lifted his head with a glare so Lupin held up muffin his with a grin.  "C'mon, you can't resist chocolate."

Xander stumbled over and sat down, snatching the muffin to bite into.  He looked around the table then pulled up the bug in the middle of the flower arrangement.  "My people wouldn't dream of screwing me over.  They respect instead of fear me," he told Arsene, then took another bite of the muffin.  "I'd find out who."

"Oh, I *so* am not putting up with that shit going on in my private little kingdom," she vowed.  "Thanks, mom."

"Thank you, mom," Melissa said with a grin.  "Can you maybe be a bit less smug?"  Xander grinned at her.  "Otherwise I'll tell them what we moved down to Mexico."

Xander ate another bite of muffin, taking the piece of paper out of his mouth so he could chew it.  "Fine.  I won't be smug.  The house has to be cleaned first though."

"Definitely," Arsene sighed.  She got up and went to the door.  "Whoever's bugging our suite had better jump overboard!  Lavelle is not a happy camper and he's more than happy to shoot people for us!  If not, Ishi will!"  She listened and a few people went 'splash'.  "I'd better not find another one either!"  She checked the hall then slammed the door. "There, I feel better now."

"Thanks for using me as a secondary threat," Ishi said, letting out a yawn.  "I think I'm still slightly under the sedative."

"How many times did you pounce your dad for snoring?" Melissa asked.

"Four times," Goemon said dryly.  "My son did cuddle after the last one."

"It made you quit, of course I did, father," he said patiently.  "Can we swing through Cairo to pick up that pretty sapphire and ruby since we didn't get a chance because of the maternal unit?"

"Sure, on the way to Europe," Arsene agreed with a small grin.

"Thanks."

"Welcome, Ishi.  Maybe we can find you a woman too."

"I don't need a girlfriend.  I'm more than happy to just let it out now and then."

"How did you keep him with you the whole time?" Lotus asked Melissa.

She blushed.  "I told a whopping lie and said he was my fiance."

Ishi giggled.  "Because they didn't know us very well," he agreed.  "They thought we were still back in the basics of training, even when she shot five people."  He grinned at Jigen.  "Your daughter does a mean impersonation of me."

"Good to know.  We'll start fitting her for a costume," Lupin said dryly, smirking at him. "If you two go at it for real, we want to know so we can stock up the armageddon cellar. We'll make sure we've got plenty of liquor as well."

Xander looked at the two in question. "You'd make many pretty babies, just like her daddy and I did, but they'd be just like me," he assured them with a smirk.

"That would be a good reason to never get pregnant," Arsene assured him, patting him on the hand.  "You were probably scary as a child."

Goemon got up and took the muffin, then picked up Xander and tossed him into the water, staring down at him.

"Hey!"

"That was mean, you obviously need to calm yourself.  Take a cold bath."  He walked back inside and sat down again.  "If you do have children, one of them will have to be the Fifteenth.  I'll expect him to be raised properly.  The rest can be like the mother."

"That's a scary thought, daddy, Melissa raising the next great samurai?"  Goemon shuddered when she put it that way.  "So maybe you should go clean that thought now, before it takes root and gives us all nightmares."

Xander got the grappling hook onto the railing and climbed up it, then growled and pounced Goemon, picking him up and tossing him at the water.  "Grumpy shit!"  He shook himself before sitting down again. "I feel better now.  So, should I watch out for loincloth wearing little kids who pout and wear a hat?" he asked Melissa.

"Nooooo, I'd never let my kids wear a loincloth.  It hampers fertility."

"Not in some," Jigen joked.  "Or else there wouldn't be quite so many Goemons."

"And possibly another on the way," Ishi reminded them.  He looked over as his father climbed back up the side of the boat.  "Father, you can use my shower if you wish."

"Thank you, son."  He dropped the fish from inside his robe into the tank next to his son's room before going in to shower and dry off.

"And I thought this was going to be a *boring* trip," Arsene said dryly. The others laughed.

"Go dry off, Xander.  You need it," Jigen prompted.  Xander took his muffin with him.  He shook his head.  "That's going to get Goemon dressed in a pink loincloth again, I know it will."

They all heard Xander's cackle from the hallway and shuddered.  That was a very bad sign, but it boded well for future amusement.

***

Xander dove off the ship, swimming for his cove under his house since the doors were open.  He heard a splash behind him so put on a burst of speed, hoping to get the doors closed before Lupin could catch him.  He 'ah-ha'd as he got inside the cove and hit the switch to shut the doors, pulling himself out and to the secret passageway to his treasure room.  The dampness on the floor reminded him to fix the water seals on the doors, but it would be fine.  He had drainage around the raised area with his stuff.  He also apparently had a shark in here because it swam for him when he tried to cross the water.  "Fine," he complained, popping across.  He stuck his tongue out.  "Can't eat me!"  He walked over to look at his horde of stuff, noticing a sliver of light from the other hidden entry.  "That brat," he said in disgust.  "She got the cops told where I live."  He grabbed a gun from the worktable down there, making sure it was loaded before going up the stairs.  He popped open the door and pointed the gun at the man standing there.  "HOMER! You stupid shit!  I nearly shot you!"

"I'm sorry to upset you, Xander.  Perhaps it is better if you do shoot me because I come to ask Melissa out for a night at dinner and a walk in the park."  He looked down.  "I'm ashamed but she is beautiful and smart and what I had in my last mate."  He looked up at his friend.  "She reminds me so much of my last mate, Xander."

"I understand, big guy," he promised, giving him a gentle hug.  His arms wouldn't go around the guy's chest but that was okay.  "You'd better ask her, not me.  If she says it's okay, I can't say anything about it."  He patted his friend on the face.  "Anything else of interest?"

"I found Kowalski here.  He's tied up.  He seems to enjoy being tied up with how often he gets into situations involving it."  Xander cackled, shaking his head.  "How did he find out?"

"Arsene was being bugged on her ship by a few people who were reporting to Pops for tip money.  She had already given them the coordinates of the house when that happened.  So we've got to move this house's stores to another site.  Anywhere you want to go in particular?"

"I've always liked the house in Japan, in the islands."

"Eehh, it's conflicted territory.  I don't want my stuff in the middle of that."  He heard a crash and winced.  "Lupin managed to open the gate.  I hope I remembered to close the passageway."

The back door slammed open.  "Xander!" Lupin yelled.  "Come show me this storehouse!  You're not getting away from me this time!"  He looked at the big man in front of him.  "Hi, Homer."

"Hello, Lupin.  Is Melissa on her way up?"

"Yup, in a real boat."  He grinned.  "Still hot for her?"

"She is a stunning woman and reminds me of my last mate, who I lost much too early.  I wish to take her to dinner and for a walk."

"Hey, ask away.  We'll keep Jigen occupied for a bit," Lupin promised.  "He can help Xander show me around the storehouse."

"He can also help you deal with Kowalski," he said, pointing at a closet.  "He was apparently missing being tied up because he put himself somewhere he was sure to be tied up again."

"Hmm, I wonder if Bix knows about that kink," Xander said dryly, going to open the door to the closet.  "Hi, Ray.  Happy in there?"  A warrant was held up.  "What's that?"  He took it and looked it over, then snorted.  "That wasn't me, Ray.  Sorry."  He handed it back.  "It's also not this house, and it's also not going to get you into the storehouse. Of course, if you keep showing up, we might have to keep you some day."  He frowned at him.  "I should call Bix and tell her that you enjoy being tied up and spanked."  Ray blushed.  "Never mind," he sighed, slamming the door again.  Ray kicked at it so he opened it.  "What?"  Ray mumbled something.  "Oh, sorry, forgot."  He pulled him up.  "Toss him in the living room, Homer.  Please?"  Homer nodded, picking the tinier cop up and carrying him into the living room.  "Anyone hungry? I can see what's in the kitchen."

Lupin pounced Xander, pushing him against the wall to kiss him.  "I want to see what's in your collections here, Xander, and I want to help you move them.  If you argue, I'm going to have to withhold sex and pout."  He kissed him again, making Xander moan but not give in.  So he let his hands wander.  "Please?  I'll be very sweet to you tonight.  I'll even let you pound me into the mattress like you did when you were under the incubus spell.  Please?" he pleaded, moving to rub against his mate's cock with his.  "I love you and I want to share this with you."  He heard Homer come back, then turn around and head back outside.  "It's all right, we do this all the time," he called fondly, then grinned at Xander.  "You share your anime and your conventions with me, Xander, this will only make me hotter to blow you.  You can even put on that Obi Wan costume and have me do it," he said with a leer.

"I can't really imagine him being blown by anyone but his master," Xander said dryly, pushing him off. "You're laying it on too thickly, Lupin."

Lupin kissed him again.  "Please, Xander?  I'll give you anything you want in return," he whispered against his lips. "Anything at all."

"We have to move it since Ray found this place," he admitted.

"I can help you pack," Lupin offered.

"Then he can show us another house," Ishi offered as he walked in.  "Why is Homer dancing around out there while my father's speaking to him?"

"He's wanting to ask Melissa on a date because she reminds him of his former wife."

"Ah.  Good.  She could use an admirer.  And Ray?"

"He was apparently itching to be tied up," Lupin said with a grin, then nipped Xander's neck in a way that usually got him pounced.  "Please, Xander?"

"Lupin!" he moaned.

"Are you two wrestling again?" Kenji asked as he walked inside.  "Can we play this time?"

"They're having sex," Fred snorted.  "Not wrestling."

"Why?  They can't have babies."

"Ask Arsene," Xander panted.  "She deserves it for getting my house raided."  He looked at Lupin.  "I'll let you help me pack but you can't open anything that's already packed."

"That's no fair," Lupin pouted.  Xander kissed him, making him go limp against him.  "Will you show me someday?"

"Maybe," he said with a grin.

"Oh, Lords Below!  Not again!" Arsene complained as she walked in.  "Can't you two lock yourselves in a room?  At least I close my door."

"You're so loud it comes through clearly anyway," Ishi assured her.

"Why are they having sex if they can't have babies?" Kenji asked her.  Arsene stared down at him.  "Mommy said you'd explain it since you got his house raided."

"Gee, thanks," she said dryly, glancing in the living room.  "Hi, Uncle Ray.  Does Bix know that you like to be tied up?"  She picked up Kenji to look him in the eyes.  "Adults have sex because it's fun and pleasurable.  Babies don't come from every time or else you'd be having a great many new sisters someday very soon."

"Why?"

"Because your daddy and mommy have been going at it like bunnies on crack."

"Na-uh.  Mommy only sleeps with Daddy Lupin and Daddy Jigen," he said, smirking at her.

"The birth mother, not the other mother, little guy."  She gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "For further sex stuff, ask your daddy."  She put him down.  "Got it?"  He nodded, going to talk to his father because he still didn't understand.  "That was mean, mom," she said, pinching him on the bare part of his arm.  "I should do something to make Daddy have a migraine later."

"Then he won't be able to see the warehouse until he's better.  Because he's got to make good on all those promises *long* before I'm letting him down there."

"ARSENE!" Goemon shouted.

"Mom said to tell him!" she shouted back.  Goemon came in with flaring nostrils so she ran out of the house before he could catch her.

"Why was she telling my son about sex."

"She had the house raided, so therefore she got to answer the awkward question," Xander said with a shrug. "Fred told him we weren't wrestling, we were going to have sex, so he wanted to know why we were going to have sex if we couldn't have babies. I told him to ask Arsene since she gave the coordinates to the cops."

Goemon moaned, one hand drifting up to hold his forehead. "Not yet.  I had a bad enough time with the first son."

"And the daughter," Jigen reminded him.  Goemon let out another moan, walking off to find the liquor and some hot water to make tea.  He'd need it soon enough.

"Daddy, do I get to have sisters soon?" Yu yelled.

"Ask your mother."

"Mommy, can I have a baby sisser?" Yu asked cutely, grinning up at Xander.

"That would require me to sleep with your daddy and one of us to be in one of those chokers, little guy.  Ask him if he wants it like that and we'll see."  Yu wandered that way and Goemon's groan floated back out to him.  "Hey, he asked me."

Lupin shut him up with another kiss, doing his best to molest Xander right then and there.  Jigen finally stole Xander and took him into the living room, but Lupin pounced him with a chuckle and they put on a floor show for Ray, who was blushing bright red *long* before they were done.

***

Goemon looked at the people around the table with him.  "I called the house.  Fujiko hung up on me."

"Congratulations," Xander said happily.  "Apparently that bikini of Melissa's paid off."

"Indeed, but she's quite upset with me.  Again."

"Is she coming with us to Hong Kong?" Arsene asked.

"If you'd like," he offered.  "She wasn't sure you'd accept her being there."

"She can watch the kids," Melissa offered dryly.  "We're all gonna be kinda busy, Uncle G.  So, are we hoping for twin girls?"  Goemon blushed.  "Hey, with as good as you two have had....  It's a possibility."

"Enough," he chided gently.  "When is your date?"

"Tomorrow night.  He needed someone to talk to about his former wife. How did she die?"

"His father hated her so he had her blown up.  He killed his father for it," Xander told her.  "He loved her quite a lot."

"Then I'll be very gentle with him tomorrow night while I listen," Melissa agreed.  "He's a very sweet guy, even though he's just as deadly as Uncle Goemon is."  Goemon smirked at her for that. "He is!"

"He is, he's a big teddy bear inside," Xander assured her.

"And outside.  The man is *huge*," Arsene added with a grin for her parents.  "How tall is he?"

"He's only six-four, Ar," Ishi pointed out.  "It's his depth.  His inside nature matches his chest, which is bigger around than some trees they use for furniture these days."

"Enough, guys, he's not a piece of meat on the market.  He's a nice guy."

"Sure," Jigen agreed.  "I'll expect you to be nice to him too."

"Of course, daddy," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "I'm not the mean one in the family.  That was my twin."

"Who's still happily boinking the cop to an early retirement," Arsene said happily.  "I'm sure Daddy Zenny prays each and every night to his ancestors not to be a grandfather any time in the near future."

"True, and remember, those kids could end up being true Lupin and Jigen heirs," Lotus pointed out with a smirk for her uncles.  "Then what would he do?"

"Cry," Lupin and Jigen said in unison, cracking Xander up.

"How's the house hunting going, Xander?"

"Murami's mad at all of us for having another of these days."

"Hmm.  Why?" Goemon asked once he had swallowed.  "She's usually much more calm."

"Because she's got a man in her life that may actually rival her dead husband," Xander said with a fond grin for Goemon.  "She said she swears he's him reincarnated he's so similar in most things.   She's presently beating herself up for falling in love again."

"That is honorable.  So is finding a new love after a suitable period of grief," Goemon promised. "I shall write her tonight."

"Thanks, big guy.  It might help her some.  By the way, he's a math major."

"Interesting.  In what field?"

"Theoretical physics.   He basically told her how the office in LA was doing it."  They all gaped so he smirked at them.  "Yup, he did.  You know she doesn't like the strange stuff either."

"Very interesting.  I'll call her later to tell her the good news," Goemon assured them.  "Arsene, did you write her back to apologize?"

"I did, Uncle G," she sighed.  "Later that night.  She said it was because I was too stressed about sex.  That I should meditate on the urge to get it under control."

"A Lupin?  Under control?" Jigen snorted.  "Yeah, right.  We'll both talk to her later, kiddo."

"Thanks, Uncle Jigen."  She dug back in again.  "Why is there a shark downstairs?"

"It was in the hidden area but we managed to move it so it could go free," Lotus told her.  "I don't know how it got in there."

"There's a small gap so a very small baby shark could get through it.  So do some fish now and then," Xander told her.

"How did you know about the shark?" Lupin asked her.

"Mom needed help moving him," she said with a shrug.  Lupin glared at Xander.  "You couldn't have helped, it would have bitten things that were sticking up, Uncle Lupin," she said patiently.  "It nearly tried to take off one of my fingers."

"I can only imagine what it would bite on him," Melissa said dryly.  Her father gave her an odd look.  "With the show earlier?  I'm quite sure what would have been sticking up and at what height you'd have to carry the shark safely."  Jigen shuddered.  "Exactly."

"If it had, mom would have gotten very mad and we'd be eating shark tonight," Ishi reminded them.  "Fortunately we're having pig."  He dug back into his pork.  "Eat.  Please.  We'll need it since we've now to go move everything downstairs."

"We could put it on the ship," Arsene offered.

"What happens if it sinks?" Xander retorted.  "Some of that isn't impervious to water."

"Fine.  Where are you looking?  Maybe we can help."

"Nope.  This is going to be a super-secret Xander place."

"A Dr. Evil place inside a volcano?" Lupin suggested with a grin.

"That still risks the stuff, Lupin.  These are just as precious as my comic library, which now owns its own house."  He grinned at everyone.  "The librarian closed the deal this morning to put them into the stone house.  They're being moved next week."

"Congrats," Arsene agreed.  "I'm sorry, mom. I had no idea that they were listening."

"Did you do background checks?" Lupin asked patiently. She sighed and shook her head.  "How did you get them?"

"The Don in Paris talked to the Don in LA for me.  I've already sent him a letter about what happened so they can deal with their own people."  She dropped her fork.  "By the way, someone is saying they stole something off you, mom.  Something from your safehouse in Paris.  Something minor but they still stole off you late last year and you haven't done anything to them yet."

"Yet," he said dryly.  "Don't worry, I heard the same thing. They're going to be sorry.  Very, very sorry," he assured her smugly.  He looked down at Goemon, who was still looking happy.  "Wanna help me with that, Goemon?"

"No.  Anytime we go out together odd things happen, Xander.  I'd rather not visit with my ancestors this week.  Or next week."

"Sure, fine, be that way," he sighed, shaking his head.  "Anyone else wanna have fun with me?"

"I've got it," Jigen offered.  "We can go together.  We probably won't end up visiting Goemon's ancestors."

Xander beamed.  "Sure, Jigen."

"Just tell me when and where, Xander."

"Sure.  We'll go over that later.  Once I've found a house."

"Where are you looking?" Melissa asked.  Xander grinned at her.  "In other words, I'm not getting control of that?"

"Nope, sorry, sweetie."  He blew a kiss. "That's probably going to be on the other side of the empire."

"But, Xander," Lupin complained.  "You can't hide hauls there."

"I can so, I just have to be very sneaky," Xander assured him.  He finished his dinner.  "I'll be in the office, do not disturb me."  He headed that way, locking the door behind him so he could sit down behind his desk and pull out some nuts.  He called Murami first.  "Morning, lovely."  Her voice came out as a warm chuckle from the speaker.  "My stepdaughter has done the unthinkable and revealed the location of the house in Mexico while her ship was being bugged."  She moaned.  "Are you busy?"

"No, Xander.  I take it you're buying somewhere new?"

"Yup, sure am," he sighed.  "So I need the *other* accounts sent to Mexico so I can deal with them.  Please?" he asked in a higher-pitched begging noise, just like a kid.  "I promise I'll be expanding the empire in a good way."

"Fine, Xander," she agreed patiently.  "Is anything else going on?"

"Tell Bix that Ray's down here but we've got him tied up since apparently he came down here to be tied up."  She choked.  "Sorry, are you alone?"

"No, and I'm thankfully not on speaker phone either this time."  You could hear her moving and a few clicks from a keyboard.  "Fine, they're authorized.  Anything else tonight?"

"Murami, have I told you that seeing you happy with him makes my life complete?" he asked gently.  "He makes you happy and your husband would want you to be happy.  Please, be happy?  For me?"

"I'm considering it, Xander.  I know I've acted oddly a few times....  No, you can't talk to him, Dawn.  Thank you, Xander."

"You're welcome.  Expect a call from Goemon with some news too.  His wife isn't speaking to him again.  She hung up on him earlier."  She groaned.  "I'm thinking he's getting his wish.  He saw Lotus for the big girl she is now and is having 'but she used to curl up in my robe to nap' flashbacks."

"I see. I'll be waiting on him.  Have him call me at home, I'm leaving in about an hour."

"Sure, babe.  Have a happy night."  He blew a kiss and hung up, turning on his computer so he could access those funds.  He saw a note from Bastian and giggled, clicking on the title 'dirty pictures of Homer'.  The picture inside made him laugh so hard he fell out of his desk chair.  He printed the picture of the man in the mud puddle looking so heartbroken and pouting, taking it out to his daughter.  "Here, Bastian sent it for you.  Goemon, call her at home, she's leaving the office in about an hour."

"I shall.  Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome."  He looked around, then smirked.  "Lupin, out of my office!" he yelled as he walked.  "Before I have Dawn decide it's a good thing to try to come onto you again."  Lupin came out of his office with a sheepish look.  "Thank you."  He closed and locked the door again, going back to his computer.  He noticed a message had been sent so he hit the back button on the computer, frowning at the simple message pouting at Bastian because he wouldn't let Lupin into the storehouse.  He shook his head and closed that, getting into his address book instead.   He made another call.  "Henri, my man," he said happily, kicking back in his chair.  "What's going on up there?"

"Nothing.  Are you coming back this way?  I have a few new fabulous recipes that I got inspiration from your beautiful daughters for.  You should come back soon."

"Soon, my man, but not right now.  The cops broke into my house here in Mexico so I'm looking for somewhere new to put my evil genius lab that I've got stashed down here.  I was thinking that I could do something good for you at the same time."  Henri let out an interested sounding grunt.  "Do we know anyplace, like say a farm or something, where I could buy it, put up a small building underground, and let someone else run it?"

"You absolute angel!" Henri declared, his french accent thickening.  "I do, I know of two such places.  That place that makes the cheese you had me specially order is no longer taking them.  The death taxes are taking the farm but there's family left.  There's also a vineyard.  Ooh, you wonderful man!  Please!  I will beg!"

"You already are, but I'm enjoying it," Xander offered with a grin.  "Send me the addies in my email and I'll see what I can do.  Any family to run the vineyard?  I know nothing about wine except what to eat with Chinese takeout."  No answer.  "Henri?"

"Oui.  Sorry, someone just dropped a pan of mushrooms and I had to swat at him.  That apprentice chef you sent me is good, but a bit clumsy now and then, Xander.  Let me send you those right away.  Perhaps you can deal with it tonight?  I would love more of that cheese."

"Sure, Henri.  Send 'em along and I'll see what I can do.  Which would you rather have if it comes down to it?"

"Either is fine, they've both got excellent products and it's stunning how good they are!  Thank you, Xander!  I also know an orchard or six if you're in the mood...."

"We'll see, my financial manager is going to have kittens if it's too expensive."

"Non.  These are not in high-rent areas.  The vineyard I know is less than a million for over a hundred acres.  It's not like the old family vineyards in Europe that go for your first born, six pints of blood, and your best seed for their future use in cloning."

"Hmm.  That might be helpful.  Send 'em on and I'll see what I can do.  Thanks, Henri.  Kiss the babe for me."

"Of course.  He sends his love, as does Jacques, who still wants to kiss your beautiful daughter."

"I'll tell Melissa you said that, but she's got a date with Homer tomorrow."

"Non, he is a big man, Jacques could never compete with that big teddy bear.  If they are here, I will make sure they get a private table."

"Thanks, Henri.  Happy swatting."

"Oui.  To you too, mon ami."  He hung up suddenly.

Xander chuckled and clicked on his email, reading the rest while he waited for his very hyperactive chef to send him those sales.  It would only help his businesses after all. He saw it pop up and clicked on it, smiling at the description of the vineyard.  It had a contact number and it wasn't too late so he called it.  "Hi, I'm the owner of a restaurant in the Bay Area, and my chef wanted to talk about buying this vineyard you have so we can supply the restaurant."  He smiled at the woman on the other side of his handset.  "Yes, that one.  No, I own Perigee.  I also own a cruise ship that does weddings and a company that leases private planes.  No, he said he loves the wines there and he was upset that they had to sell the place.  Is there anyone there who can run it?"  He listened to the woman go on about the vinter she knew who needed a place to run.

The details made him nod, it was a good pick.  It even had a small following already.  "He'll be keeping the place running like it had been?  Clean and all that?"  He nodded slowly as she told him about the man's training, he was her cousin and his father owned a very large vineyard but had six sons so this one wanted to do things on his own.  "Ideal really," he agreed.  "Sure.  Can you conference him in?  And is there a house nearby so my chef can come up to inspect the new lots?"  He grinned.  "Even better.  Sure.  Hey, I can pay you cash right this moment," he promised.  "Not an issue.  I was looking to expand anyway and this is a mostly painless version. Thanks."  He made notes on his computer while he waited for her to talk to her cousin, then got back to the negotiations.  It was what he did in this persona.

***

Lupin looked up as Xander came out of the office, looking hopeful.  "Can I give you what I promised earlier so I can see what you've got down there?" he asked hopefully.

"We'll see," he said with a wink.  Lupin snatched him and kissed him, making him go gooey inside.  "Lupin," he moaned.

"Get a room," Arsene sighed.  "You don't want to see it when I finally bring home a guy, I don't want to see you two attempt to get mom pregnant in this form."  She continued on to the living room to turn on the tv, waking Ray.  "They're at it again. Should I have them come back in here to traumatize you more?"  He whimpered and shook his head, curling up on himself.  "Good boy," she said, patting him on the head.  "You keep that attitude and we might let you walk out of here on your own instead of giving you to Bastian to play with first."  She grinned.  "I hear he loves virgins."

Jigen tossed a nerf ball at her head.  "Quit, brat.  We don't rape and torture people.  Do you need Midol?"

"Well, yeah," she admitted sheepishly.  "Sorry.  I'm having a bad day.  Mom just had to spend major money because of my mouth and stupidity."  Ray said something.  "What?"  He mumbled it again so she removed the gag.  "What?"

"I said we had figured out it was around here, just not which place it was," he said.  "Can I not be gagged again?  It's hard to breathe, I got Marcus' flu."

"Fine.  Just behave."

"Can I see the costumes?" he asked hopefully.

"That's up to mom.  He's presently trying very hard to keep daddy out of them so they can be moved."  Ray pouted. "You being here means he had to move it."

"Good point."  He curled up on his side.  "Hey, old Laugh In reruns."  Jigen nodded and turned it up, disgusting Arsene.  She hated anything like that.  She huffed all the way up to her room, slamming the door.

"Did you get the pictures they gave Vecchio?" Jigen asked.  Ray smirked and nodded.  "You know that one kissed Pops to stun him, right?"

"Oh, I heard alllll about it," Ray promised with a mean smirk.  "From both of them."  Jigen snickered at that.  "Dawnie was not a happy spouse.  She thinks he led her on."

"Another one?"

"No, thankfully.  She's heading for the change so she's scary at the moment."

"Better her than me," Jigen vowed.  Ray nodded.  "Speaking of, we could be really mean and put you into one of those chokers.  One more time and we've got to adopt you into the clan and teach you how to be a thief or make you work for Xander."

"That's okay, the Commissioner at Interpol thinks I get captured like this to have a vacation with my buddy.  He asked me if I was sleeping with Lavelle, I had to remind him I was straight, had a baby on the way, and that I'd never sleep with Xander because he was too bouncy to be stood in bed and he wore some people to death in the past.  The commissioner was not happy to hear about that but he did decide it's just a jinx on me and told Dawn to remove it.  Then he sent me down here."

Jigen snorted, shaking his head.  "You just get all the luck.  Don't worry, we'll make you work for Lavelle when you retire.  You can help his librarian.  The comics just got their own building."

"I heard.  I also saw," he admitted with a grin.  Jigen stared at him.  "Vecchio found the address so we went to search the warehouse.  We only found the comics and we couldn't prove how he bought them since he's got so many legit businesses."

"How many?"

"Six."

"Six?"  Ray nodded.  "Okay, I know the restaurant company owns the ships and the planes.  The electronics.  The security.  The comic and anime one.  What else?"

"A vineyard that's going to start producing after a fifty year hiatus.  A phil... philantro...those places that give out money place to help those who were crooks and want to go straight.  They lent money to a few crooks who wanted to go straight.  A moving company.  A few clubs.  A trendy restaurant in Paris.  There's a few places in Germany too all from that same place."

"Wow.  Well, we've always said we uphold a standard for crime," he said sarcastically.

"He's got guys who're just outta jail and the like.  He also makes sure they have a counselor to speak with to deal with what happened in tha joint.  A few of 'em went in big, tough guys and came out cowering big guys."

"Prison can do that to you," Jigen agreed.  "Good for him," he decided.  "It's obviously helping.  Which vineyard?"  Ray shrugged.  "You don't know?"

"Vecchio found 'em.  He said he was impressed, but I'm not sure why.  Seems he found out the land was good again and imported all new grapes and stuff.  I have no idea about wine so I left it at that while he complained."

Jigen smirked.  "Good idea probably.  I think I'm gonna jump him about that later.  We never heard anything about those.  Then again, we only heard about the planes on the way to China."

"Yeah, they've been doing that now for about two years."  He shrugged as much as he could.  "Can I go to the can?"

"Sure," Jigen agreed, getting up to help him to his feet and walk him in there.  He undid a knot, retying his hands in front.  "Homer did a good job on these."

"Nearly as good as Melissa."

"Well, he does admire my princess," he agreed smugly, leaving him alone.  "Don't be too long."

"No, sir."  He pulled down his zipper and pulled out his emergency beacon, but it wasn't going to work.  He tucked it up his shirt and got down to business before Jigen came back to help.

***

Xander looked up and grinned as Jigen came in that night. "Did you take that transmitter from him?"

"Yup, I did that when he came out.  Good idea to block signals from the bathroom, Xander.  Now, about that new vineyard in the old country?"

Xander beamed.  "Vecchio is so getting it when I see him again," he said sweetly.

"Why?" Lupin asked casually from behind his book.

"Xander's legit side is a bit bigger than we thought.  He's got a business which gives money to crooks who want to start out straight and just recently bought a new vineyard that's about to put out their first vintage."

"They just introduced it, it got very good reviews, and there's a case sitting in the basement in France."  He went back to his book.  "Besides, it keeps those crooks from robbing little old ladies or bothering the shit out of me in the supermarket when they try to hold that up."

Lupin kissed him on the cheek. "I love your nice guy streak too, Xander," he promised.  "It's very sweet."  Xander grinned but continued to read.  "When can we go downstairs?"

"They're being moved tomorrow," he said patiently.

"So can we look tonight?" Jigen asked.  "Please?  Ray wanted to look at the costumes."

"Fine," he sighed, putting down the books.  "Let's go.  Get kinky-cop-boy and follow to the elevator.  There's only two passages down there and the doors are open in the cove."  He put on shoes, but nothing else to cover his nudity, and headed down the stairs to open the panel to get into the elevator.  His guys brought a salivating Ray so he got them in there and down to the lab, which made Ray moan in longing.  "Keep it up, Ray, and I'm going to have to keep you someday.  We'll just reprogram you to work for me.   Maybe in the robotics company that I invest in."  He walked over to a bare wall and touched a small dot, opening a hand scanner.  He put his hand on it and it opened another door.  "Lights," he sighed.  It lit six of the twenty light bulbs.  "Full set of lights?"  Nothing else came on.  "I guess they're burnt out.  Should we bring Goemon too?"

"He might tell Fujiko then she'll do to you what she did to us so many times," Jigen told him.

"Fine."  He led the way down the stairs.  "Hmm."  He lifted a hand and created a small ball of light, sticking it on the wall.  "There, that fixes that spot," he decided.  "Stair's chipped."

"I can see that now," Lupin agreed. He noticed a wall ahead but Xander walked through it.  He walked into it.  "Xander!"  He felt something move and walked through the opening, letting the others come behind him.  He smiled at the costumes set up on dummies, watching as Ray went over to drool next to them - he'd never drool on them, he respected them too much.  "Are those tithes?"  Xander nodded.  "They're legit, Ray."

Ray moaned and came, falling down in front of a few of them to sniff.

"That's worse than most of the fancon whores we've seen," Jigen decided.  He looked around.  "Not that much stuff?" he asked.  Xander snorted and pointed at the walls, making them look.  "I see shadows."

"Each of those shadows is another alcove," Xander told him.  "Computer, end hiding program alpha."  The shadows were lit and Jigen's eyes bulged at the sight of a few things.  "Now end program Lupin Bravo Two."  The lights went out around the ring they were on.  There was a bridge to the platform Ray was on.  They could leave him there.

Jigen walked up to one that had a statue he had always liked, looking behind it. "That's not an alcove, that's a fricken cave," he complained.  He heard Lupin moan and walked to the next lit spot to see what he was moaning at.  He let out his own moan.  Xander was leaning on a pile of jewelry, looking at some of them.   Lupin walked in there to pounce him on top of the gems, so Jigen went to look at the others.  Some of them had cash.  Some of them had a few select pieces of artwork.  Most of them were artistically placed instead of stuffed full like the first two.  He came to a set of stairs.  "Xander?  Stairs?"

"Lower level!" came out in a moan.  "Tithes."

Jigen walked down there, moving by feel.  "Lights?" he suggested.  Two lights came on, letting him not fall on the missing stair right below him.  They moved as he did, finding another smaller cave.  This one had six files under bulletproof glass and a few piles of cash.  He didn't touch them, expecting something like Xander's security system on the Fiats.  He did look at the titles though and gulped at the files' contents.  He hurried back up there.  "Lights off," he muttered.  He went back to his circuit of this outer ring, finding a few more artistic places.  There was another staircase but this one led down to a tunnel so he didn't want to explore that.  He did hear footsteps and paused, but it was only Homer.  "Back again?"  He held up something.  "What's that?"

"Tithes from someone in LA.  He said he's very sorry that Xander is so inconvenienced and if there's anything he can do, just tell him."  He handed over the bag with a shrug.  "It happens.  Did all the lights burn out?"

"He ended a program called Lupin Bravo Two?"

"Hmm.  Computer, open program Lupin Program Zebra.  Initiate and illuminate, changing the burnt out fixtures if possible."  All around them the alcoves were put back in darkness but the ring and the stairs were lit.  "There you go," he said smugly.  "Anything else?"  He heard a moan and looked at Ray, snickering.  "Poor man."

"No, that was probably Lupin and Xander.  Xander was reclining on some jewelry and Lupin went in there to take him."

"Figures.  That's his retirement and 'oh shit' fund, his phrasing of course," he said dryly, heading that way.  "Xander, you scared the Don in LA again.  He wants to offer his first born to service you this time."

"Pity, but I'm kinda booked now," he called.  "Is Ray okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine."  He grinned back at Jigen.  "Toss it into the other room with the cash.  It's what the rest of us do."  He headed up the stairs, going out the other way.

"This is gonna be a pain to move," Jigen said, looking at the pile of cash.  He tossed that bag into there, then went to see why Xander was moaning that way.  Lupin was stroking him with a diamond necklace, the gem side, and sucking him at the same time.  "That's kinky," he said dryly, leaning on the wall of the doorway.

"Shh," Xander told him.  "He's proving to me that diamonds are a sex toy and an aphrodisiac."  He put his head back down, going back to his moaning and stupid grinning.  Lupin chuckled as he licked up the hard cock.  "Oh, more, baby.  Please."

"Should I put this nice, big, pear shaped diamond into you to prepare you for me?" he teased.

"Lupin!" Xander shouted, coming on his face.  "Oh, Gods!"

Lupin licked him clean, then let Xander taste himself and help him clean himself up.

"Got something for you to do him in," Jigen offered, nodding toward the one with the cash.

"I would, but there's two framed paintings under there that I like," Xander offered.  He rolled Lupin over and went to check on those.  He found the pile of cash smaller than it should be and sighed, going to reverse the portal in the painting that he had removed before someone else got wise and used it.  Once it was hung on the wall again, it coughed out the cash it had sucked in, letting it stream out like a fountain.  It also kicked out a panting person and a few other things.  "Huh.  Homer?"  Homer came back.  "He came out of the painting."

"I still say Goemon should cut that thing to shreds," he complained, taking the mortal with him to leave him on the beach so someone else would find him.  He came back a few minutes later, looking at the pile.  "Did it eat half of it?"  Xander sighed and nodded.  "Well, at least you can get it back with Lotus' help."

"True.  Can you get her so she can figure out how to do that while I dig out the other painting?"

"Sure, Xander.  Which room is she in?"

"Hers.  Top of the stairs, first room."

"Cool beans."  He walked up there to find the young witch.

Xander dug around in the cash, putting the mirror portrait on the other wall, watching as it too started to spit money.  "I hate voids," he said bitterly.  "They always try to fill themselves."   He looked at Lupin, who was staring in awe.  "Jigen thought you should take me in here."

"Gods, Xander," he breathed, pouncing him.  "Bricks of cash aren't comfortable but I'll make due!"

"Lube!" Xander said anxiously.

"Oh, yeah.  Jigen, come here and come into his ass to lube it for me."

"What?" Jigen asked.  "That stuff's sticky, not slick."

"Yeah, but it works in a pinch and I want to save mine.  Just put it against there so it goes inside."  Jigen shook his head and walked off.  "Fine, be that way then!  I'm going to keep him all to myself tonight!"  He patted himself down, finding his lotion in his pocket.  He held it up. "Okay?"  Xander looked at it, then shrugged.  Lupin slicked his fingers up and went to work on Xander's hole, then himself, before diving in. He felt more cash hit his back as he was working, but he didn't care if it buried him!  It would be a great death to be buried by cash like this.  Xander came again and Lupin moaned into his shoulder, coming inside him.  He gave him a gentle kiss and they cuddled while more cash piled on top of them.

Lotus came down and headed for the magic she could feel, stopping to look inside. She sighed and walked over the big lump, squealing as it wiggled.  "Shit!"

"It's probably Lupin and Xander," Homer said from the doorway.  "Give them an airway please?  Melissa isn't ready to take over everything yet."

"Sure," she agreed, kicking some of the cash aside until she saw hair, then moving more until she had uncovered both of their sleeping faces.  "Did you have sex in there?" she asked with disgust.  "Eww!  That'll make the money sticky!"  Homer chuckled at that, as did Jigen from behind him.  "It will!  He can't spend sticky cash."

"You can wash it," Jigen promised.  "We have in the past.  Xander said there's supposed to be a lot more in here."

"So I can feel."  She worked on a spell to help the suction going on, making it land in bigger clumps.  The other one, the one she hadn't seen in the past, was blocked by something bigger so she had to reach inside to pull it out, falling backwards as the body came out on top of her.  "Huh."  She got up, checking the woman over.  "She's chilled but living."

"Give her here, I'll bring her upstairs," Homer said gently.

"Thanks, Homer."  She handed her over, getting out of the way of the cascading and shooting money.  "Should we get them out of here too?  Before they're crushed?"

"Yo, Lupin, Xander?  We've got a naked girl here.  Wanna come out and help?"  Xander let out a moan.  "You go with her, I'll get them out," he complained.  He and Lotus got to work uncovering the couple, pulling them out by their feet.  A few bills hit the walls and were vaporized, making Jigen looked at them.  "Security system off, computer.  We're moving everything down here."

"Program Beta move initiate," Lotus ordered.

"You are not authorized," the computer retorted.

"Computer, program beta move initiate," Jigen ordered.

"You are not authorized," the computer repeated.

"Xander?" Jigen said patiently.  "Tell the computer to quit eating the money."

"Computer, stand down, beta move run," he yawned, "authorization Nighthawk 25769."

"Complying.  Reason?"

"Cops.  Do not alert other houses yet.  Only alert those who have been raided."

"Comic warehouse and house in Paris were raided," computer told him.

"Really?  By?" Jigen asked.

"You are not authorized."

"Authorize him as Jigen, Diasuke," Xander said tiredly, closing his eyes again.  "Husband."

"Please speak your name," computer requested.

"Diasuke Jigen."

"Authorized."

"Who broke into the other two buildings?" he asked patiently, knowing it was only following orders.

"Inspector Vecchio.  Inspector Kowalski has also helped as has Inspector Zenigata, who broke down in tears at the comic collection.  It was stated within hearing that they could not confiscate it since it could not be proven to have come from the commission of a crime."

"And the Paris apartment?"

"The house in Paris was raided by those same inspectors.  Vecchio swore, Kowalski cried, and Zenigata walked out kicking and swearing."

"Why?" Lotus asked.

"Security updates were active.  Emotional broadcasters were working at 100 percent efficiency.  Test listed as successful and information erased from Interpol on both residences."

"Thank you," Jigen agreed.  "We're moving all this stuff in two days.  Is there anything else we have to do?"

"You must open the back doors," Homer assured him.  "We can do that however.  Where are we moving them?"

"This cash is going somewhere else," Jigen decided.  "This is too much."

"Xander was not paying attention and it continued to grow," Homer assured him.  "Other parts of his empire are zealous."

Melissa came down the stairs, glancing around.  "Where's Mom?"  Everyone pointed.  "Mom, did you turn off the security system?"

"Only down here," he mumbled.  "Moving it all."

"Fine, I'll take the lab with me to the other house where we do the electronics stuff."

"Paris?" Jigen asked hopefully.  She nodded.  "Good.  Then you can help us do a rough count of the money in here."  He pointed at the pile of money, now that it had stopped.

She looked, then frowned at Homer.  "Did no one think to consolidate it into bigger bills?"  He shook his head.  "Why me?" she asked the ceiling.   She looked at him, noticing he was smiling.  "Fine.  Where did Mom buy to move it?"

"We're not sure yet," Jigen admitted.  "But he's got a vineyard in Europe somewhere."

"It's by Mont Blanc, which is basically on the borders of France, Switzerland, and Italy.  It's got satellite vineyards in a few other regions," she admitted. "That's mostly the storehouse and winery, plus some experimental grapes.  There's a case in the cellar.  He's been doing some classics at the satellite vineyards, then taking a few casks to mix with the new experiments to see what comes of it.  He hired some mad genius vinter to deal with it."

Lupin looked at Xander.  "Have I told you that I admire your business sense?" he asked.  Xander shook his head.  "I do.  I admire your business sense, Xander.  You make a hell of a lot of money off things that you don't do with us, which makes me jealous, but also makes me want to tie you to the bed so you can't ever leave us."

Xander kissed him.  "If you're a good boy and we're together when I retire, we can all retire to Mont Blanc together," he offered with a sweet smile. "It's a very nice house.  It's got great views."

Lupin kissed him.  "I'll hold you to that."  He stood up and helped Xander up, picking off a few sticky bills. "Someone paid you in ones?"

"Someone broke a dollar slot machine and decided he could use that for his tithe that month," Homer told him.  "Bastian was very displeased with his performance on the machine."

Melissa snickered.  "Bastian ripped up a dollar slot machine because it pissed him off?"  Homer smiled at her and nodded.  "Wow.  He always seems so self-controlled."

"He was fairly drunk at the time," Homer allowed.  They looked over as Goemon came down the stairs.  "Greetings."

"Greetings.  What is this?"

"The massive storehouse of tithes to our emperor and empress," Homer told him.  "Do you like it?"

Goemon looked around, then into a few of the alcoves, ending with the one with the money.  "I see what we are doing tomorrow."

"To say the least.  Xander, you've got to consolidate that," Jigen complained. "It's got to be portable."

"That was my thought the last time I was here," Xander agreed.  "I don't know how."

"Hey, I could use a raise in my allowance," Melissa offered with a grin.  "Or hey, I could do a sham marriage with Ishi so we can share half of that as my dowry."  She noticed the look on Homer's face and gave him a hug around one massive arm.  "Ishi and I could never really be together.  He used to pick on me about being ugly when I was a baby."

"You were never an ugly baby," he protested, smiling down at her.  "Even when you crawled over me to pee on me, I did not mind because you were so adorable."  She grinned up at him.  "Shall we help them carry this upstairs and put it into the living room to be sorted?"

"Sure.  Lotus, can't you do a floating spell or something?  Like Mickey Mouse with the buckets?"

"Sure, I can animate those costumes and have them carry it up," she said dryly.  "Doesn't quite work that way, sweetheart.  Daddy, do we have some bags we can use?"

"I'll find some," he promised.  "With wheels if possible."

"The alcove directly across from this one has a few pieces of luggage," Jigen offered.

"They're um, full of stuff," Xander admitted sheepishly.  "We'd have to empty them and then I'd get my ass jumped again."

"So that's how you moved those gemstone dildos," Melissa said dryly.  He nodded, grinning at her.  "What did Customs say?"

"That he didn't want to know," he said wisely. "He was sure it was a security precaution to move them that way instead of through the traditional channels."  He smirked at Homer.  "Didn't he ask you if you had created them, saying that they were very imaginative?"

Homer blushed and nodded.  "Quite."  He looked down at Melissa.  "He embarrasses me horribly whenever we travel together."

"Every time I travel with him odd things happen and we somehow end up talking to my ancestors," Goemon offered.

"That's probably worse," Homer agreed.  "Where is the rest of that luggage, Xander?"

"Probably upstairs, but those shouldn't be full.  We only had that one suitcase full of them."

Lupin pulled Jigen and Goemon with him to check these out.  Even he came out blushing at some of those toys in there.  He found a few bags that were empty and brought them back, still blushing.  "You can't use those on humans," he complained.

"Bet me, I've got someone I've used them on in the past.  Don't believe me, take that blue one and hold it up in front of Marcus.  See how he stutters."

"That's unkind," Homer chastised gently.

"Yay," he said dryly, grinning at him.  "Hey, Marcus, we need help moving and counting the money, come sneeze on them!"

Marcus came down the stairs, frowning at him.  "You're mean to me."

"Well, yeah, but I love you because you're a good source of inspiration," he said with a grin.

"Fine.  What are we....."  He looked at where everyone was pointing, then groaned.  "Did you not *ever* do anything about those tithes?" he demanded.

"No more nyquil or liquor for you," Lupin said dryly.   "Let's load up the bags and take them upstairs so we can do it again.  Maybe if we're really lucky it'll only take a few trips with all of us."

"Get pillowcases," Melissa suggested.  "Just one trip with all of us."

"Good idea," Xander agreed, grinning at her.  "Computer, location of pillowcases?"

"Pillowcases, sheets, and towels are in the second floor hall closet, where they should be."

"Thank you."  Xander concentrated and a stack of pillowcases flew down to hit him in the face.  "There," he said happily, handing them over.  "Let's do this."  He dove back into the money.

"Mom, I did not need to know what your butt looks like after sex," Melissa said patiently.  She got onto the side of the room, piling money into her pillowcase.  Everyone else piled in to get their own stack, taking them upstairs.  A few had to come back for the rest of the pile, but that was okay since it was the naked Xander and Goemon.

Arsene wandered down the stairs with a yawn, stopping when she saw the pile of cash and no one nearby.  "Is it Christmas?" she asked herself, looking around.  No one.  So she dove into the pile with a wicked cackle.

Lupin misted up, wiping off a tear.  "She's my clone," he told Homer. "Just like I would have done, and what I did to Xander."

Homer patted him on the back.  "I'm happy if you are, Lupin."

Lupin hugged him.  "Damn, you're massive."  The man blushed prettily.  "Sorry.  It's the sight of all the money and my daughter being my clone."  He dove in to start piling the blocks of cash away from the stuff that was loose.  He uncovered his daughter, who had the most blissed-out, content, post-orgasmic look on her face.  "We've got to move some of that, empress."

"That's okay," she said in a happy, sated voice.  "Can I lay in the loose pile so I can go off again?"

Xander looked at Goemon, grinning at him. "She is his clone."

"Indeed."  He walked in and picked the limp girl up, tossing her over his shoulder.  He went to put her back in bed.

"Gee, Uncle Goemon, you have a nice ass," Arsene said in that same happy voice.  "Maybe I was wrong when I was younger."  He spanked her, making her howl, which woke up everyone else.  He handed her to his son.  "Hi, Ishi.  There's whole *piles* of cash down there.  I dove into it," she said with a goofy grin.  "It was *gooooood*."

"So I can tell.  Let me slide you back into bed so you can be more happy."  He tossed her onto her bed, then left, going down the stairs to help with the family project.  "What was she doing.....whoa," he breathed.  "Ancestors be praised.  It's like a bank."  His father patted him on the back.  "Daddy, is it ours?"

"It is Xander's, son."

"Mom, can I borrow some to take a bath in?  I don't care about paper cuts in uncomfortable places, I just want to rub it all over myself."

"Lupin, quit warping my son," Goemon complained, settling in to help sort out the blocks of pre-banded cash from the loose stuff.   "Son, do not think about doing that in front of others," he said without looking, knowing his son was about to come from the sight of all that cash.

Xander leaned on his son's shoulder, grinning at him.  "There's a pile of jewelry downstairs, son.  It's another great spot."  Ishi moaned and wandered off to the bathroom.  Xander sat down across from Lupin, grinning at him.  "Hi."

"Um, mom, we can see way more than we wanted to know about the male body post sexual relations," Melissa offered, shifting away from her uncle's side.  Which got her closer to Homer.  Xander started to pile money in his lap.  "Thanks, really."

"Welcome.  Sorry, didn't mean to show that off."  He grinned at her and went back to sorting.  "Ishi, come help us!"

"In a minute!"

"My poor son," Goemon sighed, shaking his head.  "Lotus, are you all right?"

"Fine, daddy.  I don't get off at the sight of so much cash.  It's pretty, but you'd get paper cuts in uncomfortable places that you can't put neosporin on.  Now that pile of gems...."  She grinned at her mother.  "Can I play in it for a few minutes?"

"If and when you get married, your dowry will be your own pile so you can have your wedding night in one," Xander said patiently.  "Only I get to have sex in my diamonds."

"That's another thing I did not need to know," Goemon complained as he continued to sort.  Xander grinned at him so he threw a block of cash at him.  "Behave, Xander, or I'll tie both of your husbands up so you cannot molest them all day tomorrow while we move your enormous retirement fund downstairs."

"Who said we were moving it?" Xander asked.  Homer snickered.  "Homer, have you *ever* seen me move anything by hand?  Since I came out of Stockholm?"

"No, not at all, Xander.  I've never seen you move anything heavy."

"Who moves your stuff, mom?  Do we have house-elves?" Melissa asked with a grin.

"No, honey, we've got imps."

Lupin and Jigen looked at him.  "Imps?" they asked together.

"Imps.  It'll be moved in a bit.  While you two sleep it off.  Now, let's finish sorting this out so I can get to the jewels."

"Are you keeping them?" Lupin asked plainly.

"Most of them."  He grinned.  "I like my retirement fund."  He heard someone in the hall so leaned backwards.  "We're in here sorting tithes."

"I'm tired now," Ray said, falling down on his stomach to nap right there.  "Night night.  Love you."

"You too, Ray.  Sleep sweet."

"Hmmmmmmmm."

"We've got to do something about him," Goemon said patiently.

"We're going to adopt him if we catch him one more time.  He can work for Xander," Lupin said with a grin for him.  Goemon threw a block of cash at him, making him laugh.  "He can.  He'll work in the collections with the librarian."

"Fine.  You tell Zenigata," Goemon told him.  "I want to see his expression."  Xander giggled, swatting him on the arm.  "You, behave and sort since this is yours."

"Yes, it is," he agreed smugly.  "Mine."  He stroked the pile in his lap.  "All mine."

"Xander, don't do what his son and my daughter did," Lupin complained.  "We've already had sex in the money."

"Ick, uncle," Melissa said patiently.   She threw some money at him.  "Behave.  Please?  Let's just do this and then go back to bed.  Ishi!"  He walked in and flopped down on Homer's other side, leaning against his arm with a yawn. "Help or go back to sleep."

"M'kay.  Napping now."  He was snoring within seconds.

Xander grinned.  "That's so cute!  We need pictures!"

"No.  That one earlier was bad enough."

"I thought it was cute," Melissa offered.

"Thank you.  It has been a great while since I was considered cute."  He smiled down at her, making her blush.  "Thank you, Melissa."

Xander grinned at Lupin then winked at Jigen before going back to sorting.

"What did you buy to store all this, Xander?" Jigen asked.

"Something for the legit side of things.  Henri was upset because one of his favorite suppliers was being shut down."

"Who?" Jigen asked, looking confused.

"That chef, daddy," Melissa told him.  "Did you seal the records again in the office?"  Xander shook his head.  Lupin jumped up and ran to the office, closing himself inside before anyone could even move.  "I guess he really wanted to know."

"I guess so.  Goemon, did you remember to call Murami?  It's been a few hours."

"I did, she was having dinner with someone who made her happy so I told her I was happy she was happy and that we should talk in a few days about a possible new daughter.  She laughed as she hung up at something he said."

"Good.  I like her being happy.  She's been a widow for too long and she's much too young to be that serious."  Xander got down to the loose cash and started to push it into a new pile.  He came down to a few more blocks and handed them over to Jigen, who was now stacking them all in front of the tv.  Then they got down to sort the loose cash into denominations and stacks for bundling. It was tedious work, but filled with laughter from the office as Lupin read over his finances.  Finally, Xander had to go stop his giggling and drag him back, which got him kissed and pounced on his desk.

***

Xander woke up when someone poked him, opening an eye to look at the cop glaring down at him.  "What?" he asked tiredly.

"Why are you on our couch?" Zenigata asked.

"To make sure your wife couldn't make you sleep down here again.  Besides, I found some stuff for Dawn and dropped it off, but I'm really damn tired.  Magical exhaustion sucks."  He yawned again and closed his eyes.  "If we have to capture Ray again, we're hiring him," he said sleepily. "We'll even teach Bix how to tie him up like we do."

"What!" he asked, looking both stunned and amused.  Vecchio came in and stared at him.  "What is he talking about?"

"Kowalski had that damn warrant you got to go to Mexico," he reminded him.

"He just said that if they catch Ray again, they're hiring him and they'll teach Bix how to tie him up like they do."

"With as often as they do it to us, I'm not surprised," Vecchio said grimly.  "Same go for me, Xander?"  Xander mumbled something and grinned.  "Was that something dirty?" he asked with a scowl.  "I don't do men, Harris."

"No, he said you hate being tied up so they'd torture you by making you watch them have sex," he said dryly. "Dawn!"  She came running down the stairs.  "Your former running partner said he left you something before he collapsed from magical exhaustion.  Smells more like he rutted himself to death to me, but that's what he mumbled."

She looked down at Xander.  "What did you have of mine, Xander?" she asked impatiently.  He mumbled something.  "Excuse me?  Didn't quite understand you."

"Something about baby pictures and files," Zenigata said, staring her down.

She went totally pale and ran off to her office to make sure no one else saw those.  Her husband was chasing her so she barely got the door closed, leaning against it before he kicked it in, sending her flying into her couch.  "Hey!  No abusing the spouse!"

"What was he talking about, Dawn?" he asked, slamming the door so no one else had to hear.

"My baby pictures and some files he had on me," she said impatiently.

"Then you would have calmly walked off," he said dryly, staring her down.  "Is it your record of warrants?"  She shook her head slowly.  "Where are they?"  She shrugged.  "Dawn!"  He grabbed her.  "I don't care but if they're in the open, you could be in dangerous trouble with the Commissioner."

"They're not," she said quietly.  "It's not that sort of file."  She looked around but they weren't in here.  She walked out, heading for the kitchen, then the dining room.  She found them in Vecchio's hand, snatching them from him. "You don't need to read my diary."

"I wasn't, I was reading the sexual comments file," he said smartly, smirking at her.  "Are you still claiming to be a non-kinky person?"  Zenigata took them to flip through, pausing and blushing at that one.  "Why sir," he said fondly, smirking at him. "Are you shocked?  Considering Xander broke her in first?"

"As far as I'm concerned she was returned to virginity when I got her," he muttered, taking those files up to his personal safe.  There was no way anyone else was going to see any of those.  Especially not the file she used to keep on what she had tried and how she had liked it.  He'd have blackmail material for ages on her now; no more sleeping on the couch for him!  He walked out to deal with the crook on his couch, but found Vecchio knocked out and on it now.  "Where's the crook?"

"Uncle Xander grinned and blew a kiss at him, then disappeared in a small flash of light before Uncle Ray falled down," his youngest son reported proudly.  "Mommy's hiding in the bathroom and said you'd fix us breakfast since she's never coming out."

"Fine.  We'll go out for breakfast," he agreed.  "Go put on real clothes.  Pajama tops do not count, neither do shirts with more than four holes for body parts."  He pouted, that took away all his favorite clothes.  "Yay, son.  Do it now."

"Yes, daddy."  He went back up the stairs to find clothes his daddy liked to see him in.  He liked to make his daddy happy.  Then daddy would tell grandmommy that he was good and she would coo and praise him again, saying he was just like his daddy.

***

Arsene finished her letter and let her father read it, grinning at him.  "How's that?"

"I like it, empress," he agreed, handing it back with his.  She grinned as she read it, then they smirked at each other.  "Okay, let's send them.  They'll never know what hit 'em."

"That's right.  Now there's two Lupin crews working the world into a frenzy."  She sealed hers into an envelope and licked it closed, putting a stamp on it.  He stuck his envelope with hers, then they handed them to Xander, who summoned an imp.

"Here, send these to Hong Kong.  They must get to a post box there within a day."

The imp bowed and nodded, going to do this for the Great One.  Anyone who could take out two of the Fallen Ones and then spit on them was too great to be worried about whether or not he was a delivery person.  You did not disappoint that Great One.  Now he knew who he had been doing research for and it was only making his status higher each time he helped him.  Maybe he'd even get a permanent position. He didn't abuse his imps.

"Okay, let's go back to the ship," Xander announced.  Everyone grabbed their bags, Xander taking the extra two cases that were his so no one else would have to deal with it.  Maybe Lupin would take him again on the diamonds and Jigen would help them play.

Debut!

Inspector Zenigata had a rude shock upon getting to work the morning after having to deal with Lavelle.  The commissioner was sitting behind his desk, smiling at the picture of his family.  "You couldn't call me to your office...sir?" he asked, remembering to salute him at the last minute.

"No, I could not.  I wanted your opinion on this matter, Inspector."  He tossed over copies of the letters.  "They came from our office in Hong Kong."

Zenigata read them, then nodded.  "We knew they were going to do a formal debut with the children, sir. We've been trying to figure out their targets and to track them now for months.  I guess this was it.  Kowalski thought something Asian but they were still debating targets the last time he knew."

"Where is he?"

"He took that warrant to Mexico.  They've probably still got him if he's not in that house.  Has anyone checked to see if they left him there?"

"Not yet," he said grimly.  "I'll let you do that on the way to Hong Kong."  He grimaced.  "What is his connection with those thieves?"

He knew the man knew this, or he did if he ever read anything sent up to him, but he'd have to repeat it now.  Again.  "He and Lavelle met at some fandom conventions.  He's always followed ethical guidelines in relation to his contacts with them, including taping most of them and handing them over still in the machine.  We took him off the Lupin investigation years ago when he admitted his view was skewed by Lavelle's true nature."

"True nature?"

"The guy's a big geek, sir, to be honest we're not quite sure what he's going to pull out of his butt this time.  The last time, he had a mountain in China collapse because they took two of the younger generation. We got there too late and had to run for our lives."

"Yes, we noted that you met with the Lupin gang."

"I was trying to stop massive loss of life, sir.  That was against a new arms dealing group who was making a very large and powerful machine.  In the rubble we found the remains of a partially active nuclear reactor.  We also found their munitions plant.  We knew Lavelle was going to take them all out, and possibly anyone in close proximity, for the sin of touching a child he considers his."

"Inspector, you sound like you know quite a lot about this man."

"I've been forced to learn and I do listen to Kowalski each time he reports a new contact.  He's the one building Lavelle's personality file as well.  If you'd like to look at it, I can have it pulled."

"No, that's fine.  Has a profiler looked at it yet?"

"Yes, and said she was clueless. Lavelle's not the normal crook, sir.  He's been tortured so badly that some of his injuries lasted into his first year with Lupin.  He got free right before Jigen found him."  The commissioner looked stunned.  "He still bears the scars from that.  He's got strength from behind those years because his younger life wasn't that pleasant.  Nothing too tragic, but lower income, semi-abusive parents, lack of drive in education, things of that nature.  Plus, he was from Sunnydale."

"Where?"

"Pull Xander's background file," he yelled.  It was walked in by Vecchio.  "Here, sir."  He handed it over.  "His background before Jigen and he got together."

"Can you use any of this to catch him?"

"No.  His parents aren't dead but they're not someone he talks to willingly.  His former friends are the reason he was tortured.  It's still good to know where the behavior came from.  He never even had a speeding ticket before hooking up with Jigen."  The commissioner grimaced.  "After that, he's got stuff we can't find and we can't touch.  He's got some totally legitimate funds, twice blessed by every bank I've talked to as being legitimate and from legitimate businesses. His title is from sleeping with someone who offered it if she could get off, which he did for her.  He keeps his life away from those things.  He's shrewd, he's knowledgeable, and he's damn hard to catch.  Even when he was on my couch yesterday morning."

"Touching him and catching him are two different things," Vecchio agreed.  "We've tried to bait him.  When we've actually caught him he's escaped without leaving a clue how in most cases.  Mostly, sir, we're just trying to contain the damage that man is capable of.  We used to get Lupin and his crew now and then, then Jigen took in Xander during their vacation and it's suddenly ten times harder to catch any of them.  Before you ask, that was *before* he and Kowalski met, sir.  We met at the same time."

"I see."  He put down the file after only glancing through it.  "Then perhaps some new methods should be figured out?"

"What new methods?  We've done everything we can think of, Commissioner," Vecchio said plainly.  "We can't bait him.  We can't capture him, when we try we usually end up being the victims of that trap.  We can't keep him when we do actually manage to get him in a cell.  You don't know Lavelle, sir.  You don't catch Lavelle, you endure Lavelle and keep down the damage.  He's the reason that Geneva had that sudden outbreak of faith a few years back.  They wanted to hurt his kids."  The commissioner shuddered at that.  "So, no, we're doing all we can to keep them on the run or on vacation most of the time."

"They sent their notes for the debut," Zenigata offered, handing them over.

"She's just like her father," Vecchio sighed, handing it over.  "Isn't this the sign of apocalypse?"

"You'd have to ask Dawn, she deals in those," Zenigata said dryly.  They looked at their boss again.  "As soon as we realized how much Lavelle had screwed with my people's heads, we moved them to other cases.  They're only involved peripherally in anything Lupin related."

"Each time you send in a new inspector for Lupin the Fourth, we tell him what we know," Vecchio offered.  "It's not helped yet."

"Yes, well, she's about to get her wish," the commissioner said snidely.  "What about his supposedly legitimate side?  Can we get it under racketeering laws?"

They both shook their heads.  "I've asked," Zenigata admitted.  "When Vecchio found out what Lavelle was doing on his legitimate side, I took it to the prosecutors to look over the information.  We also took it to the banks to find out if we could find a money trail leading back to any heist.  We couldn't.  He had a small fund set up when he was still normal from the insurance settlement after Sunnydale and the loss of his eye.  As far as anyone knew, he used that.  We can't prove otherwise. He's smart enough to know the law, he probably studied it in his free time, and to get helpers who know all the dodges and outs.  He even set the kids up with things like that."

"If there's things that Lavelle needs to do, he's got advisors in most of the banks, a few of them are financial managers of his legit side so he doesn't deal with the day-to-day stuff and ruin it," Vecchio told him.  "I do know that he's recently expanded the empire for his legitimate side by a vineyard and a dairy farm."

"Any chance he's hiding things from Mexico there?" Zenigata asked.

"Sir, Mexico was the tithes from his intelligence network," Vecchio told him.  "By the way, Kowalski finally got free and called me about ten minutes ago.  He's on his way back."

"That's fine.  Is he all right?"

"Just traumatized.  They had sex in front of him a few times."

"Pity, but nothing I wouldn't expect," Zenigata admitted.  "Any other new information?"

"Yeah, Lavelle left a few files in Mexico according to him.  They're blackmail material that would get him what he wanted very quickly with some senators in the US."

"Why does he bother with them?" the commissioner asked.  "He lives over here and in Japan."

"He was American, sir," Vecchio said patiently.  He looked at his boss again.  "We also lost the people on Lupin the Fourth's ship within a day of her finding them.  We think their original bosses took them out."

"Quite possibly.  She went through the Don to get them, so that would be an embarrassment."

"Kowalski said someone named Homer told Lavelle that the Don in LA was ready to offer his favorite child for his pleasure if he'd forgive him," he said dryly, smirking at his boss.   "Apparently we were wrong, he was dealing with that small outbreak of crime while he was with Alan."

"Who?"

"Former boyfriend, an actor.  Lavelle still loves him but he was impacting his career so he let him go be funny," Vecchio told him.  "Kowalski got cried on about that, even though Lupin never knew."  The commissioner looked stunned.  "He can't capture him.  They've been friends now for years, that's why he's not on the Lupin investigation and why Stan reports each and every contact made.  I've got that report on my desk if you wanted it, sir."

"What about Inspector Kowalski's new wife?"

"Their former nanny," Zenigata admitted.  "He met her through Lavelle and Goemon, another person who goes to the fandom conventions.  Again, they set her up with a blessed and clean trust fund.  We can't prove where the assets came from, they just appeared in a bank one day after a cash deposit.  We can't find where the cash came from because nothing in the month before's transactions show that same amount or even one near it.  Not within twenty percent of the amount of the deposit in either direction."

"Interesting.  Anything relatively close?"

"Not really.  They dropped a pretty specific fund of one-point-three million into that account for her retirement.  Nothing was even close.  Most of those that were happened to be wire transfers, which this wasn't.  Also, the greater majority of anything closer went overseas or to a business entity like a jewelry store.  The few that didn't we're still looking at but we're doubting it's anywhere near their financial manager.  We've tried to raid her records before. All she had were some stock portfolio options and files on trades that she had taken over.  Plus a copy of Lupin's grandfather's will."

"She said he had her look it over for more odd clauses like the one that said he had to have kids," Vecchio reminded him.

"True.  Personally I think he made her the head executor of it but we can't find a paper trail of that either.  I do know that the woman recently moved into a very nice condo on top of a very prestigious building, but her old one had damage done by the tenants upstairs."  He scratched the back of his head.  "Sir, Lavelle hires the best to advise him.  The man is a borderline criminal genius who hires other geniuses to work for him.  Since he does that, he protects Lupin and both gangs now.  We can't catch Lupin while Lavelle is with them.  We nearly got them when Lavelle wasn't speaking to them, but then they disappeared and I heard the Golden Dragons started something against them."

"Very well.  What about this new one?"

"She makes some rookie mistakes, but she's been doing field work since she was eight," Vecchio said dryly. "Lupin the Fourth and her crew are very well trained by Lavelle and the others."

"He trained them?"

"Jigen the Second is his daughter, sir.  Or did you not read the report on that artifact he had."  He shook his head.  "Then never mind.  Why are you asking about things that we've already reported?" Vecchio asked.  "I know IA does that now and then, but we do report everything to your office, sir."

"Inspector, I get seventy reports a day," he said coldly.  "Yours are generally very long and detailed about things I don't care to know about."

"Then you shouldn't come down on us when we can't do our job because you do things like this," he said blandly.  "Otherwise we'd have a few people heading to Hong Kong at the moment."  He smirked.  "Then again, I'm not one of them so I'm going to go back to my cases.  You know, the other eight people on the top ten list."  He walked out.

"Sorry, it's been a long night for him.  Kowalski's wife was ill all night with morning sickness."

"She's pregnant?"

"Yes, otherwise he would have waited for her to retire in a few more years, once the youngest children were older."

"I see."  The commissioner frowned at him.  "Do you still feel you're objective about these crooks?"

"I'm realistic, sir, it comes with age," he said blandly.  "I've chased Lupin across six continents for the last twenty-eight years.  When I retire, they're still going to be going.  They only seem to get younger and young, while I age like a normal person.  Like Vecchio and Kowalski, I've learned all I could about these people so we can tell the next generation.  I may get lucky and catch him yet, if he slips up due to his daughter making a rookie mistake, but I can't promise it.  Back when he was still making mistakes it was a lot more likely."

"He doesn't make mistakes?"

"Not as many.  Lavelle is a planning genius, he passed it onto his daughter.  Together the three geniuses planned this out.  I doubt we're going to see a flaw.  Lupin always plans for the cops and what they can do.  He's used us as a distraction so many times it's not funny.  He and Lavelle can easily impersonate anyone in this office, except Dawn since none of them will ever put on that choker again.  Lupin may be enemy number one, but I'm nearly fifty, sir.  I'll gladly train my replacement and have him start now so they can get the next thirty years of their careers."

"You're giving up?"

"No, I just figure it'll take the next guy ten years to get all the nuances of the group.  It took me five before Lavelle and I'm still learning about them from Kowalski."

"Oh.  They are the same age as you are, inspector."

Zenigata snorted and took a picture off his filing cabinets, handing it over.  "They sent that to us last holiday.  Do they look my age?"

The commissioner looked it over, then grimaced.  "No, not really.  The silver haired one is Lavelle?"

"Yes, sir."

"Fine."  He handed it back.  "Anything more recent?"

"Vecchio, do we have recent photos of the crooks?"

"The kids," he offered.  "Let me check."  He looked in his and Kowalski's desk, coming up with a present one of Xander.  Then he had a hunch and checked his email, finding one from them on vacation.  "Yeah, sir, we've got one from their vacation this summer."  He printed the full email, going in to hand it over.  "We've got to find a way to find that bug, sir."

"We do," he said grimly.  "It's beyond our capabilities."  He snorted as he read it, then handed it over.  "For you, sir.  Run the bug scanner again, just in case."

"Yes, sir.  Inside and out."  He went to pick it up and do it again.  This was something they did every Monday morning.  They still hadn't found the bug Xander had put in the office and hidden.

"How did he hear us?"

"He's had us bugged now for nearly a year and nothing Interpol or the CIA contact I have can find it, sir.   We try every Monday morning, but we never find it."

"He put another regular one into Dawn's desk," Vecchio called.  "How I'm not sure."  His email beeped so he went to look at it, then snorted.  "Sir, Marcus is on monitoring today and he said we're giving him a, I quote, frightful headache while he's ill.  Could we please just shove the commissioner out a window so he could go back to sleep?" he read.  He printed it off and handed it over with a smirk.  "He and Kowalski exchanged cold and flu recently."

"Good, he deserves it," Zenigata yelled.  "He's their research person, backup to Goemon when his son isn't around, and general helper," he said dryly as he handed it over.  "They're showing off because you're here, sir."

"Wonderful," he said as he read it over. "This man threatened me.  Where is he?"

"Who knows," Vecchio snorted.  "He could be anywhere in the world.  Lavelle owns a satellite."  He went back to scanning for bugs.  "Hey, Dawn, Marcus is listening."

"Hey, Marcus, did you get that soup recipe I sent you?" she called out.  "It'll make you feel less grumpy.  You're like Goemon when his loincloth thong got stuck with the superglue that time."  She grinned at Vecchio's snickering.  "What?  He was picking on Xander yet again.  Did you hear about the incident after he told Xander he would never be the thief Lupin is?"

"Noooo, what happened?"

"Xan had the kids check to make sure he didn't use any magic or anything.  Got his clothes, his sword, his money pouch, even his loincloth, which went into the wash because Lotus said it was nasty looking.  Dressed him in a bright pink silk loincloth with purple velvet dots.  On the *inside*, thank you," she said with a mean smirk.  "Then put that never-ending pink lipstick on him.  The kids caught pictures of it after Xander flashed his hair to match his loincloth."  Vecchio had to lean against the filing cabinets he was laughing so hard.  "Yeah, that was right after Ishi got his glasses.  Like the night they got back."

"Oh, damn, Xander is so mean to him at times."

"From what I've heard from LA, he and Goemon got into it that next morning on the ship.  Goemon threw him overboard, so Xander got back on and tossed him into the ocean."

"Those two are like brothers," Vecchio said, shaking his head. He grinned at her.  "Any other good news?"

"Yeah, there's word that Homer Peacekeeper and Melissa were seen on a date in Mexico but no one could verify it was her or him."

"Homer Peacekeeper?" Zenigata asked, coming out of the office.  "That reclusive samurai that's nearly as good as Goemon, but he's built like a tree?"  Dawn grinned and nodded.  "Why?" he asked cautiously.

"She reminds him of his former wife."

The men sat down, staring up at her.  She nodded. "No way," Vecchio said.

"Way," she agreed.  "He's not that much older and he's very sweet.  I met him once and he was very sweet, very polite, and very big.  The man be six-four, but he's about six-four around too and it's all muscle.  He's a big teddy bear from what I've heard."

"She could do worse," Vecchio admitted. "What about Brad?"

"She still adores him but he's a cop now.  She can't have him."

"Good point."  Vecchio looked at his boss.  "It's probably better than her and Ishi."  Zenigata shuddered at that.  "Sorry, sir."

"No, those would be some nasty kids," he said, shuddering again.  "I don't even want to hear about the Fifth when it comes into being."

"Well, Fred's turning into a mini slut monster and more like Lupin's father from what we've heard.  He doesn't like to steal but he likes to have a temper and shoot at things," Dawn offered.  "By the way, I spanked him when I found him in the house this morning.  He was sucking up to our second daughter, Maria.  Kinda literally, I found him stuck to her lips trying to catch a grope."  Zenigata frowned at that.  "I also called Bix, who yelled at him for a bit, then he slunk off back to wherever Fred goes when he wants to be alone."

"Why isn't he with the others?"

"He hates Hong Kong.  Lupin had one of Xander's guys follow him around to make sure he was all right, but he's not stealing anything, just trying to hit on busty blondes."  She shrugged.  "Verian said he'd keep him in line this time."

"Where is she from?" Vecchio asked.

"Germany. She's the one who reported what Lupin the Fourth did to get broken in and how she went to a second one because the first guy was so boring she nearly fell asleep."  She flipped some of her hair back.  "So, what are we doing today?  Besides finishing the bug search?"

"Heading to Hong Kong," the commissioner told her.  "You're in charge of Lupin the Fourth's investigation."

"I'm not an inspector, I'm a consultant.  I'm their profiler.  Besides, if I go, then you lose Zenny to take care of our kids."  The commissioner growled.  "Sorry, but truth.  I was trained by Lupin with Lavelle and Marcus.  Zenny stole my ass after I figured out I couldn't kill people.  Now I help him with the crooks and do their profiling.  Since Lavelle taught me how I'm fairly accurate most of the time."  She leaned against her desk.  "I'm the mind behind the traps to catch the other six on the list recently."  He looked impressed.  "It's my work that leads to the arrests, I don't go out and arrest.  I'd look really ugly in a uniform too."

"I can dissolve this unit."

"Yeah, sure you can," she snorted. "Since we've cleared everyone but two groups in the Top Ten list three times in the last six years, I doubt it's not going to cause a stink in the press.   Then again, Zenny could retire and the kids would love it.   I don't need to work.  Vecchio has a standing offer to work for Lavelle's legit stuff, and Kowalski's got an open invitation to work in his comic warehouse with his personal librarian."

"He has staff?"

"Yeah, he pays a librarian and a pilot, plus a few managers to deal with things for him.  He wanted Vecchio to deal with the company that did the restaurant and vineyard since he's so good with food stuff.  Lavelle only knows which wine to eat with which chinese food."

"Do you do white or red with Ramen?" Vecchio asked.

"White," Zenigata told him. "He said so, I'd trust that.  Usually I try for a beer when I'm at home, but he's a bit more upbeat than I am."  He smirked at him, shaking his head.  "You're so bad."

"Thanks, sir."

"Welcome, Vecchio.  Who's on your plate today?"

"Mad bomber guy."

"He'll be hitting kids next," Dawn warned.  "Get him before then.  He's in Germany somewhere.  Or else you will be presented that one, like the last time."

"Sure," Vecchio agreed, "any idea where in Germany?"

"Stutgart?  Does that sound right?" she asked.  His face lit up with a wicked smile.  "Go for it, boy.  Have fun."

"Thanks," he said meanly, grabbing stuff so he could head out.  "Any hotel?"

"Nope, not heard yet."

"Hell, that area's only a mile long," Zenigata said dryly.  "There's only sixteen real hotels and a few places where pros work and stay.  It won't be that hard to find him.  He's got a known kink for being pissed on."

"True," Vecchio agreed, heading out of the office.  "Later!"

"Good job, Dawn," Zenigata praised.  "How did you hear about that?"

"Marcus said if we didn't catch him, he'd be presenting the idiot to Vecchio.  He's tired of him shaking things near his apartment and knocking off his ancient vases."

"Hmm.  The last time Marcus presented us with a crook, it was a horrible sight," he admitted.

"He interrupted him while he was writing his dis.  The man got what he deserved," Dawn said with a hand wave.  "So, Commissioner, do we have someone new this week to teach about Lupin the Fourth?  Since I heard they're going to Hong Kong?"

"Their new inspector is already on his way," he said calmly.  "Go, inspector."

"Going, sir."  He kissed his wife and headed off.  "Kowalski's free and on his way back."

"I can hold down things until he comes back," she called after him.  She looked at the inspector.  "Should I send the Fourth's files to him?"

"No, I had my secretary call with the basics before he left," he admitted.

"Good.  I'll check to make sure everything's in place and work on the number three person next then.  Anything else you needed from us today?"

"Unfortunately, we will have to cut the budget a bit.  This office uses a lot of travel miles each year," he sneered.

"Yes, but we get results, sir.  Almost no one else does.  Though Kowalski did pay back the travel office when he found out why he had been summoned to help 'save lives' by Lavelle."  She sat down, putting her feet up on her desk while turning on her computer. "If you cut our travel budget, we won't get the results, then you think you'll be able to close us down, but I doubt it'll happen.  After all, the crooks are scared of us, they aren't scared of the rest of you.  Plus, if we had to, we could form a true consulting agency out of the house.  Then you'd have to pay us to find most of them.  Since you've had officers walk past six of our last eight captures and not recognize them.  Your choice, sir, do you want the people who're experts at the job, or the newbies who can't hope to match it without us?"

"They're cheaper."

"Not really.  They'll still have to travel too.  The Top Ten for Interpol is all over the world.  Unfortunately six of them are in the Middle East at the moment at a conference.  We liaisoned with the locals to get them instead of having to travel. When possible we do that in the Middle East and lower Asia.  None of us speak the local language and they don't really like us that much."  She stared him down.  "The newbies will end up coming to us, which means we'd have to charge you as a consulting firm.  Which is actually how I scammed Interpol for a few years before Zenigata caught me and joined.  Anything else today, Commissioner?"

"Some day you'll all retire."

"Yeah, and we're picking our replacements.  Otherwise they'll end up insane like that Suoh guy that Lupin the Fourth painted 'I love sheep' on and then glued stuffed sheep to him before hanging him off a bridge."  He shuddered.  "Remember, they'll have to deal with these same people, sir.  We'll pick people who can for you."

"Fine," he grumbled, walking out.  He did slam the door.  He opened it again.  "You're still going to lose your office.  Unfortunately we need to expand the cells this way."

"That's fine, we can set up in the house.  Vecchio and Kowalski only live three blocks away.  That way the kids who want to join Interpol can get a good taste right off the bat.  Anything else, sir, and what category should I charge our moving and setup expenses to?"

He slammed the door again.

She shrugged and looked at her email. "Pity, but there ya go. You earned it, moron."  She got into her email to check it, smiling at the nice note from Marcus about how the soup tasted medicinal, but it had worked.  "You're welcome."

***

Zenigata stomped out of the airport and saw a short man with long hair and a beard waiting on him in familiar cop gear: trench coat, hat, worn out shoes.  "You are?"

"Suharto Majakalin, at your service, Inspector Zenigata.  I believe I'm to take over one of the Lupin teams?"

"Yeah, Lupin the Fourth wanted you," he said dryly.  "Where are we going first?"

"To the hotel.  I've already spoken to both parties and they're worried but the local office is setting them up with some very good security measures until we can come back later tonight.  I figured I would brief you while you had lunch, and then we could go back together later this afternoon, after the men of the family get home from their jobs in the financial district."

"Fine.  Watch out, she's a nasty little brat and the commissioner doesn't like us," he said grimly.  So this was who Lupin the Fourth wanted to chase her?  Why?  He couldn't see why.  He got in to drive, he knew the city very well after so many times being here.  "Which department are you from?"

"I've worked in Interpol now for a few years.  My last assignment was in Bramapur, India dealing with the drug trade coming from the islands and this way.  Take the next left, there's a wreck ahead.  We're going to the usual one by the Academy."

"Fine."  He took that advice.  "Before then?"

"Before then, I was in Bangkok, also working in drugs and prostitution, and before that I was in Brazil.  I was briefly stationed in San Francisco when I first joined Interpol, but my first station was with Surat, India, my native home. Yours?"

"Tokyo, then Interpol.  Chasing Lupin since I joined," he admitted.  "It's a hard case."

"Of course it is. You've got many people working together.  It took years to get into the Mafia system and I'm assuming chasing Lupin is like a more mobile version of that."

"Sorta," he agreed, liking this guy more and more, even though he needed a shower. "Lupin heads his family, he always has, but he's got Lavelle with him and that makes him more dangerous and more deadly."

"I've heard much of Lavelle. I look forward to the briefing I can get from your other inspectors," he admitted.  "I've watched as others were taken out by Lupin the Fourth, and knew she was looking for someone specific."

"Yeah, she asked for you.  She even painted it a few times on the commissioner's stuff," he said dryly.  "It took more than most people thought to get you though."

"Most usually you don't give into crooks, it only makes them cocky and I'm led to believe this one is already that way."

"She's been pulling jobs since she was eight, man, there's nothing but cockiness in her.  She's a sixteen-year-old Lupin.  They picked you because they said you reminded her of me."

"Really?" he asked, sounding interested.  "Do you know why?"

"Apparently your devotion to the cause," he said dryly.  "She wanted someone who could chase her like I do her father."

"Interesting.  I'll take that into account.  As for today, we will get back, I will bathe, you will eat, then we'll discuss this new set of problems before going back?"

"That sounds fine," he agreed lightly.  "Were you undercover?"

"For ten days in the slums.  No running water I'm afraid.  I'm sorry if I smell too much."

"Ehh, we've all gotten that way in the past.  When Vecchio and Kowalski first got in, they had to chase Lavelle through the tent city outside of Calcutta.  On the way, they stopped some people killing others, dove through a big pile of trash, and then into the river near there."  Suharto shuddered.  "Exactly.  They came back smelling so bad, even after a few long, hot showers and a great deal of laundry, the airline didn't want to let them on but they pulled their badges and forced them to."  He grinned at this guy.  "Don't worry, you'll fit in well with Stan and Ray.  Or Ray and Ray, he prefers Ray.  By the way, they've taken to calling us Pops and his two Rays, so if you hear that it's them."

"That's fine," he agreed genially.  "It shows great affection for you that they give you nicknames."

"Yeah, chasing a Lupin is a strange thing.  Sometimes you chase, something you're pursued, sometimes you've even got to work with them to make it out alive.  They're not the average crooks and everything you've learned before will be like nothing once you're seriously on their trail.  There are days when I wonder why I was plagued with Lavelle," he offered as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel they were staying in.  "Then I realize if I'm plagued with him, Lupin gets it much worse," he offered with a grin.  "Let's head inside."

"Thank you, inspector, for accepting me."

"Not an issue.  She wanted you, you can do the job from what you've done in the past.  You'll be fine and I'll help until I'm forced to drink myself into early retirement.  Besides, we've got an open desk for you back at the office.  You'll love it, you can have plants and oftentimes one of my kids will come in and help.  Not to mention the kitsune now and then."  He got out, slamming the door, walking inside with his younger, smarter counterpart.  This man could catch Lupin the Fourth, he knew he could and would some day.  Eventually.

***

Dawn looked up and grinned as Ray trudged him. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he said with a small grin.  "Just tired.  Bix gave me a hug when she picked me up.  She's still pukin' too."

"We do that, Ray, usually for  a few months," Dawn reminded him.  "I've got some good and some bad news."  Ray groaned.  "Lupin the Fourth got who she asked for.  He's with Zenny and Zenny is seriously impressed after talking with him."

"That's good.  The bad?"

"We've got to move the office again.  The commissioner said they're expanding the jail this way.  So we're moving it to the house."

"You've got that building out back, put it in there," he suggested.  He flopped down with a sigh of relief.  "I'm tired.  We need Xander's imps to move things."

"Imps?  He uses *imps* to move shit?"  He nodded, giving her a long stare.  "How do you know?"

"He moved all the stuff from Mexico, which was all tithes.  Lots and lots of cash. Lots and lots of jewels.  Some minor paintings.  Those two with the portal thingies."

She grimaced.  "Those were stolen," she agreed.  "But they're dangerous."

"Yeah, they sucked up some of the money and when they got it free, they found two people.  They're fine, they're in the hospital down there.  I stayed an extra day to deal with that with them."  He stretched and let out another sigh of relief.  "What else did the commissioner want?"

"To fire us all to save on the travel budget."

"Hmm.  Pity.  I've got a standing job offer."

"Yeah, so does Vecchio.   Xan wants him to do something with the restaurant and the vineyards."

"Plural?"

"Plural.  He just bought a new one and a dairy farm the other night.  Of course, if he's using imps, we'll never find anything they buried out there."

"You can't really bury stuff like that," Ray said thoughtfully.  "You know, none of Xander's houses say 'Xander' to me.  Most of them I've seen say 'Lavelle'. Not Xander.  Not even Mont Blanc."

"Xander has always wanted something that was a Xander space," she agreed thoughtfully.  "Do you think he has one?"

"If he does, it's probably not in his name," he pointed out.  Then he paused, looking around.  "Nothing bad happened, I may be wrong," he admitted.

"Yeah, Xander can occasionally do mean things to try to redirect you," she admitted, typing Xander into her search features.  "I wonder if he has any other personas we don't know about," she said thoughtfully.

"Xander's one big case of MPD waitin' ta explode," Ray reminded her.  "You've known him longer, what would he name it?"

"Not a friggen' clue," she admitted.

***

Xander looked down as his phone vibrated to show a new text message.  He read it, then snatched his computer.  "Sorry."  He got into his monitoring system, typing at the computer.

Jigen leaned over to watch him type.  "What other personas?"

"I've got some aliases," he admitted.  "Dawn wants to break into them."

"Are they covered as carefully as everything else you do, Mom?" Melissa asked.

"All but one and I was fixing that the last time I knew."  He typed in that question, getting the response that all birth certificates were in the correct books and that Bastian had called for him, leaving a message.  "Open message," he muttered.  He listened to the quiet audio, then sighed.  "We've got to get Bastian away from them.  Give me a minute, babe."  He went back to fixing things so Dawn wouldn't find him again.  Then again, he wasn't going to hurt her this time because she had gotten close, it would only make her more frantic to find them.  Fortunately his backup persona was hidden so deeply no one knew who he was.   He sat back and used the computer to dial the police station Bastian was in, then turned it off when the computer showed feedback through his wire in Dawn's scalp.  He pulled up his cell to call instead.

"Hola, I'm Bastian Morales' current employer.  I have heard you have him in custody?  That would be fine."  He grinned at the spitting.  "Bastian.  They can't have you, I won't let you go to some other syndicate, babe.  You know that."  He grinned at the calmer sounding man.  "Now, let's fix this so we can go on the debut job."  He smiled at the cop who had taken the phone back.  "The man was trying to stop someone from kidnaping and using him.  He's retired. I blatantly use him for his contacts.  You can ask him about that if you want," he offered.  The cop asked Bastian, who was quiet, then answered.  He hoped Bastian knew he was playing.  He decided to make sure of it.  "Of course, if you asked him, he would also tell you that I'm using him to break in my infant daughter and to be her future spouse too," he joked, smirking at Melissa, who was shaking her head.  Bastian broke out in swears again.  "Put him back on.  Bastian.  Love you, man, but we both know the truth.  Arsene is yours when she's finally grown up."  Bastian let out a chuckle so he had gotten the clue apparently.  "Forgive me?"  He got a pleasant answer.  "Now, tell the nice men that you weren't doing more than defending yourself so you can get out of that nasty hole.  Before I'm forced to come up there in a few days time."

Melissa got up and snatched the phone. "Don't worry, Bastian, we'd let you date Lotus instead.  Arsene got that 'cat with the whole pitcher of cream' look when he said that."  She giggled.  "No, this is one of his daughters, the brilliant planner of the family.  And you are?" she asked calmly.  "No, I'm the one who watches Bastian to make sure things like this don't happen.  As it stands, we've been having a few talks with these people to let him retire in peace as well.  They haven't gotten the point yet and tried to shoot him."  She smirked.  "I see.  No, he was out of the country at the time.  He's like that.  It's the purpose of retirement for most people."  She smirked.  "Good!  And can you really charge him with anything?  What was he doing?"  She looked at her father, who shrugged.

"That's fine.  I'm assuming it was a contract from his *old* employers who needed a new identity.  Did you find out which one so we can contact them?  Then please release him.  You don't really have much beyond the B&E, which is piddling shit to one such as him, but you'd be risking much more loss of property and life if someone in his *old* life decided to make sure he couldn't talk about anything he had done.  After all, sweetie, he was a spy for nearly fifteen years.  From the US."  She could hear the man shudder.  "Good point?  Thank you for your cooperation and I'm sure it'll be fine.  No, but I'm *sure* they're blackmailing him into it.  I'm sorry, but consider it a test of your local security if you want."  She smiled.  "Thank you, inspector.  You have a nice day.  No, we'll call Bastian later, once he's had a good lunch and a nap.  I doubt he's slept since you caught him and well...."  She grinned at Lotus.  "We do hope he has good dreams now that he knows which of us he'll be escorting around on his pretty little arm."  She chuckled and hung up.  "He's free, heading back to his hotel.  He's been advised to leave the area by tomorrow."  She sat down again, grinning at Arsene.  "You'd drive him insane."

"Probably," she agreed sweetly.  "But he's very pretty and very good in bed from what I've heard around."

"He is, but he's much too nice for you, Arsene.  He'd never put up with your naughty streak," Xander assured her.  He typed something into his computer, sending Bastian a plane ticket to wherever he wanted and a bonus for good completion of his job.  "There, done," he said, closing his laptop out.  He grinned at the others.  "He'll be fine.  I'll talk to him later, once he's had a drink to clear those mental images from his head.  He's still got flashbacks to when he was captured once."

"That poor man," Lotus said quietly.  "Is he all right?"

"Fine.  He was in Sweden.  Their jails aren't too bad at the local level.  He was only pulled in for questioning really."  He got comfortable in his seat. "Now what?"

"What other persona, Xander?" Lupin asked patiently.

"My hidden one."

"Fine."  He gave him a long look.  "I can get it out of you."

"Nope, sorry.  That's my backup persona, you can't have it."  He turned back on his computer, getting in to check on something.  He thought he had sent those two he was hiding some cash but apparently he had forgotten again.  "I've got to put that on autopost," he complained, sending it on.  "Before Janus has to yell at me for making his future wife work."

"She's fine?" Arsene asked.

"She's fine.  Just about due.  I just forgot to pay things this month.  I meant to last night."  He closed out that program after sending it.  Then reopened it to make sure it had gone through.  He sent it again, making sure it went through this time.  Then sent it via Western Union when it refused again.  Two months worth, just in case.  He got back a happy email a few minutes later from them saying it had gone through, so forwarded that to the girls.  "There, done."

Lupin took the notebook, looking over the this new program, which was something they used at the house for allowances.   He closed it with a pout.  "Why won't you tell us about that one?"

"Because no one but Homer and Bastian know about it, Lupin.  That's my backup and 'oh shit' position.  If I have to use it, we're probably not a full group any more."  He shuddered.  "See, you don't need to know. Someone could probably find me that way.  We don't want that so they only know parts that they had to play to help me make that persona.  Not even they know all the details, guys.  Sorry."

"Fine, but I'll expect to know some day, when it's no longer necessary," Lupin said, still pouting.

"Fine, Lupin, I can agree to that," Xander said patiently.  "Now, shouldn't we be enjoying ourselves?  It's the day before we go to work."

"We're trying to lay low so the other cops don't see us," Goemon reminded him.  "Especially since that Suharto person booked them into the same hotel."

"He's an interesting choice, but I know we can make him into an obsessive person over us," Lupin said with a grin for her elders. "He's done a lot of drugs and pros in the past too."

"True, he comes from a sea-side on the Western side of India's coast. He's had a very good career, he's a very good cop, and he'll temper us brilliantly."

"We can hear you!" Zenigata yelled through the floor.

Everyone chuckled.

"Talk about bad luck," Jigen laughed, shaking his head.  "Plan three?"  Everyone nodded and grabbed their stuff, splitting up to meet later that night.  Xander left last, doing a sweep of the room and because he still had to pack his laptop.  Besides, he would only gas those two.

***

Jigen looked at his watch, then at Lupin.  "What's wrong?"

"I don't know.  I got a call from Xander, but no message.  It was him breathing though."

"Was he maybe arrested?  He did have more crap to carry."

"No, that was all in one suitcase now, with his laptop case."  Lupin frowned at his own watch.  "We're going to have to go in about ten minutes."  He looked at Goemon, who shrugged.  "You haven't heard anything?"

"Not yet."

"Fine.  Then we'll go."  They headed for their target, going according to plan.  Xander was in his spot so they'd talk to him later.  They got into the vault with no problem, thanks to Goemon, and back out without any problem thanks to Xander and a knockout gas through the air conditioning system.  They walked out the front door, heading at a dead run for the cars waiting on them.  He nodded Jigen to take whatever Xander was heading for, grabbing Xander to pull him along.  "Toss your keys to Jigen."

Xander tossed his keys.  "The handle, underneath, and the door button," he called quietly.  Jigen nodded, heading to get into his car.  Xander followed Lupin, getting into the back so Goemon could have the front seat, he never got to sit up there.  "What's up?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," Lupin complained as he started the car.  It wouldn't start and they heard a familiar chuckle.  "Xander?" he asked patiently.

"I ended up shooting the new cop, but got him to the hospital.  Gramps is not happy with me," he noted.  "He probably did something to the engine."  He got up, gun already drawn and picked off most of the cops, then hopped out with Goemon's sword to face down the two remaining people, who were definitely not cops.  "Come on."  They lunged and he sliced into them after a few strokes.  He stopped to look at the cop staring at him, noticing he had a gun.  "Go ahead and try," he said dryly.  "At least I got him to the hospital, Gramps."

"True, he'll live because you did.  You're awfully jumpy today, Lavelle," he sneered.

"Gee, excuse me, but I just had another trip through hell with two of the kids.  Sorry, but I have fucking nightmares," he said bitterly.  "Want some?  I will gladly transfer them over."  Zenigata backed off some.  "Now, you can join him.  I am that good."

"I've already got mine drawn, you'll be in the cellblock infirmary, boy."

"Ya think?" he sneered, staring him down.  He saw the swallow.  "Lupin, I'm having a conflict.  Retire him or not?"

"Not, Xander.  You know better.  Only I get to hurt Pops."

"Fine."  Xander ducked and brought up his gun blindingly fast. He still got shot but the cop in front of him only got hit in the shoulder.  He walked back to the car, handing Goemon back his sword.  "Sorry, don't have mine on me."

Lupin looked at him, taking off his shirt to look at the injury.  "You idiot."

"You wanted him to stay on the force, Lupin.  He will," Xander said, staring him down.  "Now, fix the car and let's go so I can have some painkillers.  Okay?"  Lupin hopped out to search the cops for his car part, installing it again quickly and getting them gone to rendevous with the others.  Xander slumped down, using his shirt to put pressure on the wound in his shoulder. "Are you having flashbacks to the other timeline and the earthquake?" he asked Goemon.

"I am," he admitted.  "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine once we pull the fucking bullet out and get it stapled," he offered.  "The ship's got an infirmary and a good doctor onboard."  They headed for the harbor, putting the car back onboard.  Xander let them park it, heading up to the infirmary.  He nodded at the woman in there.  "Got some forceps?"

"Of course.  What happened?"

He grimaced.  "Zenigata."  She was a doctor who had been banned for something as well.  Something minor, he'd never trust a butcher on his ship, but she would keep quiet.  She pulled out the bullet, watching as he grunted and flopped backwards.

"Let me stitch that, Xander."

"Sure, go for it," he said weakly.  She settled in to stitch his shoulder, gently closing the wound.  "Thanks, you're a peach.  Can I have something for the pain?"

"Of course," she agreed with a gentle smile.  "I patched up a small scrape on your daughter's arm.  Not gunshot related, just a bad scrape from some gravel or bricks it looked like."  He nodded, accepting the pills she poured out for him.  "Let me get you some water, then I'll walk you back to your suite."  He nodded again, letting her baby him for a few more minutes.  Then she walked him up the stairs, meeting the children on the way up.  "It's just a minor wound.  It should be fine.  It was fairly clean and he's got some stitches.  I'm sure he knows what to do with them."  She left him in the kids' care, going back to clean up after that minor emergency.  It was nice, nothing too tragic had happened yet.

Arsene looked at her mother's shoulder.  "What happened?"

"Zenigata fixed the car. Your father didn't want him to retire yet."  He opened the door.  "I'm back.  I've got stitches so we need to find the waterproof bandages."

"What the hell happened?" Melissa demanded, coming in last to close the door.  "Ours went off flawlessly but our cop wasn't there."

"That's because I had to shoot him earlier, dear.  He drew on me and fired on me.  He's in the hospital with a minor wound to his side."  Xander flopped down, staring at the kids.  "You picked a rabid bastard, guys.  He shot at me, I wounded him.  Now, he'll probably want revenge so he'll be going after you now.  Try to be a bit careful, okay?"

"That had better be the pain talking," Arsene said coldly.  "He's a good cop."

"With a history of brutality," Xander retorted.  "He beat up his last drug capture, daughter.  Nearly killed him too."  She shuddered at the ice in his voice.  "I did what I had to do.  He's not dead.  Feel lucky."  They sighed and nodded.

"Xander, have you had anything for the pain?" Jigen asked.

"Just now, thanks."  He got up and went up to their room, pulling the curtains.

"Why do I feel like I made the wrong decision?" Lupin muttered, looking at Goemon.  "Did you see any other way for him not to be shot?"

"No.  I'm glad he's as fast as he is.  If he had went for a retirement shot, he could have fired during moving."  He looked at Jigen.  "He'll probably want held tonight if what he said was true."

"Good point.  I'm on it.  You get yours, kids?" he asked as he climbed the stairs.

"Yeah, but that's not the point!" Arsene said, stomping her foot.  "He destroyed the cop we wanted!"

"Arsene, you're acting like a spoiled brat," Lupin told her.  "You got your target, the cops will be back soon enough. Move on."  He stared her down, watching as she stomped off.  "I'll deal with her tomorrow."

"She's going to be fuming by then," Melissa warned. "You ruined her plans to have a great chaser like Gramps on her tail," she reminded them.  "It was one of the dream things that she knew would mean that she was as good as you, Uncle Lupin."

"She's already got plenty of good cops after her," Lupin reminded her.  "You guys are a lot more active and open than I am.  You guys get chased a lot more than I do.   Personally, Xander was right to shoot that other guy if he fired on him.  Be thankful he's still living.  I wouldn't have left him that way.  Neither would either of your fathers."

The younger group nodded.  "We understand, but you're puncturing her dream balloon," Ishi explained.  "That's her fantasy of knowing she's as good as you are."

"She got hers without an injury, that's the thing she should be looking at," Lupin countered.  He got up to go beat some sense into his daughter.  He knew she wasn't ready to go out on her own yet.  "We didn't have this sort of problem with Marcus and Dawn," he complained as he walked.

Goemon looked at the children.  "Good job.  Go play and relax.  We should be leaving soon.  If not, Melissa go make sure of it."

"Of course."  She headed up to the bridge to check on that, getting a 'we've got one thing left to load, then we're heading out' response from the doorway.  She went to join Ishi in the dining area to watch the skyline in the dark.  It was a pretty city. "Are you picking a side?"

"If so, I'm going with mother.  He was right to shoot him since he was being fired upon.  His anger is reasonable.  I'm not sure why he's mad at Uncle Lupin though."

"Apparently," Lotus said as she walked in, "Gramps showed up there and fixed Uncle Lupin's car so it wouldn't run.  Xander got most of the cops with him, and two hitters who were following them.  He asked Uncle Lupin from his position after striking if he wanted a retirement sort of blow or not.  Uncle Lupin said only he got to hurt Gramps, so Xander only grazed him, earning that gunshot of his in the maneuver.   So he's a bit pissed because he could have hurt him more from the position he had been in but Uncle Lupin didn't allow it."  She hugged them both.  "The Lupins are having a screaming match in our suite."

"That's why we're in here," Melissa agreed dryly.  "Do I often have such funny images?"

"No, neither do the rest of us, but she is an idealist and a Lupin.  The best Lupins have their own squads after them, the same as Lupin the First did," Ishi reminded them quietly.  "She thinks that Zenigata won't be chasing us and doesn't want to take her father's chasers away.  She wants one of her own to prove how good she is."

"Yeah, but some day Zenigata will capture Uncle Lupin again," Melissa reminded him.  "The same as someday we'll be captured or killed."  Lotus shuddered.  "It's something I've had to think about in the past."

"As did we," Ishi agreed.  He looked at the others.  "I don't want to go out on my own yet.  I believe that we're being arrogant."  Lotus nodded.  "Melissa?"

She considered it.  "I'd rather be under Uncle Lupin," she sighed. "It's safer and easier for now.  We made some stupid ass mistakes tonight.  We have over the past few weeks, even though we planned this out flawlessly.  Uncle Lupin plans many different ideas at once.  He probably had one for when the cops showed up like that.  It was probably Mom going off on them," she admitted.  "But I didn't have one that detailed. I planned on Ishi covering us."  She pushed back her hair.  "I wouldn't mind."

"Good, then we'll talk Arsene into it."

"She'll be rebellious.  She doesn't want to have to rely on the older group."

"We don't have to, but I'd still rather be a teenager again," Melissa told her. "I know there's no going back, but still!"  She walked off, going to talk to her father.  She walked in and found him on the couch. "Did mom kick you out?"

"He's in the bath.  He's having nightmares," Jigen said quietly.  "What's wrong?"

"We're being arrogant twats.  We realize this."  Jigen nodded, smirking at her.  "Can we stay if we can convince her?"

"We're not kicking you out," Jigen promised.  "Xander would never allow that.  He and Lupin would get into it and the others of us would stick up for the rest of you guys, but she's got to get back under control again."

"I know."  She curled up next to his head, staring down at him. "We made rookie mistakes, dad.  My plans didn't cover all the bases."

"It's a wise girl who knows she does not know everything," Goemon agreed from his doorway.  "The others?"

"We all want to stay, we're not sure about Arsene at the moment."

"Very well.  That would entail rules."

"We knew that already but we figured we could maybe negotiate a few?" she asked hopefully.  "Like tv's in our rooms?"

"We'll see," Jigen promised.  "We should go stop the Lupin's."

Xander came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of boxer shorts. "I've had enough.  Yes, you're coming back, Melissa.  Alex needs you and I still need to finish teaching you about the empire."  He walked out, going down to the other suite.  "She's sixteen," he reminded the crew he pushed past. "Go back to your spots.  I'm breaking it up."  They scattered.  He walked in and ducked the thrown vase, grabbing Arsene by the hair so he could look in her eyes, putting her into an uncomfortable position where her knees were bent and she was leaning back in his hand. "Shut up.  Now."

"Xander, let her go," Lupin ordered.

"No.  I'm not."  He continued to stare into her eyes.  "Lupin the Fourth, you have not a fucking clue, little girl.  In any other circumstances, we would have killed all the cops there tonight.  Most crooks would have.  You may have earned your own investigator, but your arrogance is going to get someone killed.  Now, you can either calm down and start to think rationally again, or I'm going to banish you to the pool house when we get back.  I'm not putting up with you.  I'm not putting up with the arrogance.  The others found a self- regulator for it."

"I'm arrogant?" she snorted.  "Pot and kettle situation, mother," she sneered.  He gave the hair he had hold of a squeeze, making her scream.

"I've earned mine over the course of about forty years counting both timelines, young lady.  As your father and all your uncles have.  I still take advice from them and you need it."  She tried to move so he tightened his grip again.  "You're being a spoiled little child and you should have been spanked when you were younger to break this bad habit.  You notice none of the others are sticking up for you?  That's because they know they made rookie mistakes.  They realize that they're not ready to kill or be killed out on the streets.  They know exactly what can happen to them as they're shot and lie bleeding in the middle of a job. Do you?"  She screamed as he gave a little yank of her hair.  "How about if that rabid bastard had tried to shoot you, Arsene?  Would you have done him?  Even if it meant your team's life, would you have spared him?"  He sneered down at her. "You may be skilled, but now it's time to finish the training, baby girl, because you have not a fucking clue what it's really like.  You're still at the debutante level.  Now let's talk about the reality of being a full-time criminal.  Are you ready to give up the shopping trips on the spur of the moment?  The partying to all hours in a very open club?  Having to wake up in the middle of the night because someone found out where you were staying?  Giving up *everything* around you at a moment's notice because you've got to move on?"

"You don't," she complained.

"I have and I will again someday. It's the reality of crime, little girl.  Earlier, I could have left everything there, but I didn't have time to negate that laptop so I had to bring it with me.  That's also why I had to consolidate bags.  You have no idea what it's like living out of one bag at all times, wearing the same clothes for a week straight because it was necessary and you didn't have time to shower or change clothes.  Or where you're in a spot where you can't change clothes.  You've never seen the inside of a real prison, the sort where little girls like you are fucking party favors.  Do you really want to do that?"  She struggled but her position meant she could only fall onto the floor, and probably lose that chunk of hair.  "You passed the basic levels.  Now it's time to move on so you can actually be a credit to the family name.  We're trying to keep you kids from learning what we did the hard way.  Looking at the person beside you and seeing them dying and no way for you to get them help.   Sitting in an alamo situation without enough weapons for more than a few more salvos.  Being trapped and the options being capture or death, and capture would mean death.  Now you start your real training, what I got when I came in from my private teaching. You'd better pray like hell that your uncles agree to finish it for you because right now I'm not feeling that nice."  He let her go, watching as she fell onto her ass.  "Make your fucking decision, now."

"I don't need more training."

"You do, Arsene.  What he said was true.  We've faced down all of those situations.  I did a number of times before I ran into Jigen and offered him a spot with me, and Goemon as well."  He sat on the arm of the chair nearest him.  "You have inherited a lot of stuff, Arsene.  Including a reputation.  I had to build mine from the age you started out.  I saw people dying on my orders when I was eleven."

"I saw them when I was eighteen," Xander told her, crossing his arms with a wince and a deep breath to control the pain.  He calmed himself again.  "You've passed the basic levels.  You did the high school of crime. Now it's time for the college.  Melissa may have a way to hide, but if she took you with your present attitude you'd blow it for her and probably for me because you're loud, showy, and you draw attention to your name.  Your father was sleeping with me and didn't even realize I was doing other jobs.  Until you get to *our* level, you don't go out on your own permanently.  It's time for the college level classes.  We'll start on the way back to France."

"Japan.  I want to pull that job anyway.  I sent the letter," Lupin said when Xander looked at him. "Is that okay?"

"Fine."  He looked at Arsene.  "What about you?  Have you?"

"It's in my desk but I never sent it," she said, glaring up at him. "You're not my mother."

"Yay. You're the one who said I was, you can unsay it I suppose.  It won't change the fact that now it's time for the more serious levels of training.  We thought you could go out, but you started to throw a kiddie fit as soon as you got back because not everything went according to plan.  I tell you what, Arsene, next time the cops don't show up, celebrate.  That's what means you're getting away with it."  He braced himself as the ship pulled away from the dock, staring down at her.  "The rest of us weren't that lucky.  The rest of us got hunted because of your arrogance.  By the way, you almost left the plans in the hotel room."  Lupin hissed.  "I have them in my bag.  We'll be going over them tomorrow to see where the plans went awry for your group to critique it.  Others may be impressed but we're going to be realistic.  The days of the easy A are over, little girl.  Now, go to bed like the infant you're pretending to be."

"I'm not a child!" she shouted, standing up.  She threw a punch at him but he blocked it and hand her in a choke hold before she knew it.

"Really?  Because you're still throwing kiddie fits," he hissed in her ear.  "The more you act Alex's age, the more you're going to be treated like it."  He let her go, blocking her next kick attempt and knocking her back onto her ass.  "Nice try, not."  He sneered down at her.  "Now, go to bed.  Before I have to get mean on you.  The others kids know what's going on and they decided to take the extra training."  He walked away, leaving her there.

Lupin got up and pulled his daughter up, hugging her.  "I'm sorry he was so mean," he said, stroking her back to calm her down, "but he was right, Arsene.  You've still got a lot to learn that we had to learn the hard way.  I don't want to have to bury one of you from your arrogance, especially not you.  So therefore you will modulate your sneer, your attitude will come down again, and you will start to learn. The Academy was like a GED program.  You passed it because you were years ahead of the other kids, but you never faced a bad situation.  You never faced down twenty cops and no way to get away like we did tonight.  Goemon and I started to react but your mother acted first.  He's the one who saved us and my bad decision got him shot."  She looked up at him, tears in her eyes.  "Can you face doing that to Ishi or Melissa?  Or Fred or Lotus or Kenji or Yu?"  She shook her head, hugging him again.  "Then we'll start working again.  You guys have skills, we can train the rest into you.  I hope."  He gave her a squeeze.  "Now go to bed.  It's been a long night and you're probably tired.  Your mother was right about that."

"He's not my mother."

"That's up to you, Arsene.  We all know who took care of you the most.  It'd be a shame to lose that because your arrogance got in the way of your relationship.  Yeah, he was harsh and cold.  That's what it took this time.  The others didn't need to be told about that.  They knew.  Melissa's seen people die from her gun.  Ishi's seen people die from his gun and his sword.  They know that it was probably going to be them or the other person."  She turned green.  "You haven't had to face that yet.  Your choice in cops may or may not have been good, but that's beyond the point.  It's not time for that yet, not with you still throwing fits like you were eight.  Now, go to bed and think about it," he said quietly.  "You're going to be on this ship while Jigen and I go get that other job, then we'll be heading back to the house.  There's more stuff set up there to help you."  He left her alone after wiping off her cheeks for her and kissing her on the forehead.  He walked down to his suite thinking about it.  Xander had been very cold and very precise.  He closed their door quietly, nodding at Melissa to go.  "It's safe."

"Thank you, Uncle.  Is she okay?"

"Probably throwing stuff.  Xander had to get cold and clinical on her."  She nodded, understanding that.  Her father had done it to her once or twice, but probably not that bad because she wasn't the arrogant brat Arsene could be.  She gave them all a hug before leaving.  "When did Xander find someone behind him nearly dead?"  Jigen raised his hand.  "During the training when?"

"Right before we went to LA," Jigen admitted. "Why?"

"He told Arsene what it was like and how we were going to teach them so that she'd never have to see it."  He sat down, staring at them.  "Where is he?"

"Not up here," Goemon offered.  "There is a bar."

"There's two bars," Lupin corrected.  "Fine, let's go find him.  Jigen, are you all right?"

"I managed to get away with only running over a cop," Jigen pointed out.  "He had to fight for you guys."

"He told Pops that he was so mean because he wasn't sleeping due to his fighting in hell."

Jigen groaned, tipping his hat down.  "He hasn't been having the usual nightmares."

"He's also been sneaking out of bed to play video games," Goemon offered from his seat.  They stared at him. "I've heard him a few times.  He comes out after about an hour and goes back just before dawn."

"I wondered why I kept waking up at dawn," Jigen complained.  "Fine, let's go find him and help him.  He's got to be torn up."

"He's mad at me," Lupin told him.  "He gave me a choice on how much to injure Pops and I told him not to hurt him, that it was my fun.  He got shot because he was ducking to make his move."

"It probably wasn't the only one," Goemon said thoughtfully.  "He did say that other one shot at him."

"We just saw him without a shirt on, I didn't see any grazes," Lupin offered.

"He'd have covered it," Goemon pointed out.  He got up. "I'll talk to him.  You two wait here."  He headed down the hall, finding Xander up on the deck instead of in a bar.  "Thinking about jumping?"

"No, then I'd have to drown and that sucks."  He glanced at him, glancing over at his friend.  "They send you to calm me down?"

"Lupin knows you're upset with him."

"I'm upset with myself, Goemon, not with him."

"Still, some of the anger must be at him for making that choice," he offered.  He leaned next to the boy, watching the water.  "It is very restive to watch, yet it is also very deadly and has lured many to its depths to die."  Xander snorted.  "The same as you have."

"No, I'm not quite that deep, Goemon.  Nice try though."  He started to reach over then winced again.  "Sorry."

"Where is the other one?"

"What other one?"

"The one the other office gave you."  He looked at Xander, noticing he was avoiding his eyes.  "Xander, it must be looked at."

"It was when I took him to the hospital.  That's why I got into position instead of meeting at the rendevous spot."

"I understand," he offered, looking over the boy's nearly naked body.  "Where is it?"

"It's nothing, Goemon."

"If it was nothing, your pain medicine would have worked, Xander.  You must let us take care of you sometimes.  That is why we're family."  He ran a gentle hand over Xander's back, watching him wince as he got to an area that felt wrong.  "You covered it with your illusion?"

"Yup, sure did."

"May I see?"

"Nope."

"Xander, it must be checked.  You could be bleeding again and we do need to know how best to help you."

Xander stood up to look at him.  "I'm fine, Goemon.  I just need some rest."

"Which you cannot get from the nightmares and the pain, Xander."  He moved closer.  "We took care of you when you came in so horribly injured, we will do so now.  We like you more now than we did then because you grow on one, like moss."  Xander snorted, but he was smirking a bit.  "Please?  I will not tell them unless it is too bad.  We can even show it to the doctor on board, just in case something else needs to be done."

"It's fine, Goemon."

"It's not, Xander.  You're shifting away."

"That's because you're being scary."

Goemon grabbed him and hugged him.  "I wish you had been my child, then you would have been raised better."

"Yeah, but then I'd have to have Fujiko as a mother," he said bitterly.  "Let go?"   Goemon shook his head.  "Please?  You're making my shoulder ache and I'm about to react to the pain."  Goemon let him go, undoing the bandage to look at it.  "It's nothing, it got close to the bone, that's all."

"If you say so."  Goemon took off his illusion choker, slapping at the struggling hands.  "I have seen them before, Xander!  Stop it!"  He turned him around and held him against the wall of the ship, staring at his back, that had a very large amount of gauze and it looked like it was caved in. "Did something skin you?" he demanded.

"One of the crew on the ship from Sunnydale got infected by a hunter, they've got blades that come out of their palms.  It decided it needed a sandwich," he complained.  "Let go!"

"No!  Hush!  Before I treat you like I would my son!  Not that my son would hide this from me.  I would expect my son to come curl up and whine on me were he this injured."  He used a free hand to move the gauze, then put the choker in his pocket for a moment so it would quit interfering with his view.  "This is infected, Xander.  It needs to be cleaned and treated.  Have you been getting it wet?"  Xander shook his head with a sigh.  "Fine."  He retaped that piece of gauze and moved to the one on his side, lifting a corner of that one to wince and recover it.  "Did they remove the bullet?"

"Yeah, they thought I was yakuza so treated me and released me when I got demanding," he said, looking back at him. "Can you let me go before I start having rape flashbacks?  I know you won't, but I really don't like this position very much."

Goemon let him go, stepping back.  "I'm sorry.  I did not mean to upset you further, Xander.  Come, we will go down to the infirmary.  Where are the children?" he asked as he hauled him off by his uninjured arm.  "How did you climb that ladder like that?"

"Easy, the last pain killers wore out," he said bitterly, being drug along like he was a little kid. "I'm fine, Goemon."

"Hush, Xander.  You need treated."  They ran into Arsene, who was out pacing in the halls by the infirmary.  "Are you injured?"

"No, I'm thinking about getting something to help me sleep."  She stared at her uncle's body, gulping and turning away.  "Ow."

"Yeah, they hurt when they were carved in."

"Hush, Xander.  Arsene, is the doctor in?"  She nodded. "Good, he has a prior injury that your chosen officer gave him that needs to be looked over as well."  He walked in and shut the door, then came out a few minutes later with a paper envelope.  "Here.  To help you sleep."  He walked back in and slammed the door.

She stared at it for a few minutes, then decided to do the adult thing and go in to check on her uncle, tucking the sleeping pill in her pocket.  "What happened to his back?"

"A demon."  Goemon held Xander down, keeping him from struggling as the doctor peeled off the old gauze, some of which was stuck in the injury.  "I have seen him with much worse.  Those scars on him were much worse when we got him.  He also had areas of flayed skin," he told the doctor.

"I'll try to be gentle, Xander.  I know how much you hate doctors.  You told me so when you hired me."  She wet down the rest of the gauze to remove it, then glanced at Arsene, who was now green.  "I don't allow gawkers in my ward, young lady.   You've got what you needed.  Go back to your rooms."

"Should I get daddy?" she asked.  "He'll want to know."

"You may tell him I'm having Xander's earlier gunshot looked over since it's still causing him pain.  Xander or I will tell them about the rest."  She nodded, hurrying out to do that before she got sick.  "It's been a few weeks for that one."

"So I can see," she agreed, staring down at it.  "Well, first, let's soak it so we can gently clean off anything nasty in it.  Xander, should we knock you out?  I do have some anesthesia on board."

"It doesn't work on me," he said calmly. "I'll be fine.  I don't feel much there usually."

She nodded, getting to work by putting some sterile water on his back to do a rinse first. "Goemon, you don't have to hold him."  He backed off and pulled over a chair to sit on, staying by Xander's head.  "I thought he was with the others."

"He is, but sometimes he is much like my son.  Though my son would have whined at me about such matters.  I wish he would."

"I'm not like that, Goemon.  We both know that."

"True, but if you had, it might not be infected.  I would have helped you taken care of it so it wouldn't be infected."  He accepted the small diamond she plucked out of his back and held out. "Thank you."  He tucked it into his pocket.  "You can have that back later."

"I don't care," he sighed, putting his head back down and closing his eyes.  "Don't let them fuss."

"You are more than worthy of some fussing, Xander.  Even if you do not believe it. Even Zenigata says that you're the reason he wants to retire.  Most cops fear you."  He stroked over the silver hair, tying it together and braiding it for the doctor and him.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome.  Your mates should do something like that.  As should your friends."  He went back to distracting him and keeping him calm.  Even when Jigen came in.  "Lupin?"

"Beating himself up over him being shot earlier."

"It was my stupidity for asking," Xander mumbled.

"No, you did what he would have wanted and you know it, but he hates that you got injured doing it, Xander."  He walked in and looked at the open gap on his back, shuddering.  "Eww."

"I can handle it. You can take Goemon with you."

"Fat chance.  Someone's staying to hold you down in case I hurt you," the doctor retorted.  "Whichever one of you keeps him calmer.  How old is this, Xander?"

"The day we came out of hell."

"Hmm.  Two weeks?"

"Just about, yeah," he said tiredly, letting out a yawn. "Sorry, I haven't been sleeping well."

"That's fine.  I can cure that as well. I should have given you stronger pain killers earlier.  Next time I'll give you something that will put you to sleep."  She looked up at Jigen, noticing his pallor. "If you're going to be sick, do it in a trash can we can throw out."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed, pulling over another stool to sit next to Xander's head.  He saw the other bandage and winced. "Ow, that had to have hurt."

"It does," he admitted.  "You can go back to bed."

"Shut up, Xander."

"Fine."

"Want Lupin?"  Xander shook his head.  "Fine, I'll go get him."  Xander frowned at him so he stared back.  "He needs to know too.  That way we can take care of you."  He gave him a gentle kiss to the temple, the easiest spot he could reach, then went to get Lupin from the bar.  "Hey," he said, leaning in the doorway.  "He got hurt fighting in Hell.  He never told us he's got a spot that's been dished out on his back."  Lupin groaned, holding his head. "The one from earlier is in his side.  Into his side, not a graze by the way it's bandaged."

"No wonder he was cranky with pain," Lupin said bitterly.  "He okay?"

"Goemon's treating him like he would Ishi.  Wanna come up and sit with him.  He says he's not blaming you, he's blaming himself for asking."

"No, I wanted him to ask but I still made the wrong decision."  He finished that drink, bringing the bottle with him so Goemon could have some if he wanted.  He took the stool beside him, handing over the bottle.

"We have real alcohol, we don't need to do field medicine in here," the doctor said as she patiently worked.  "Do not spill any on him and no getting drunk around me."

"Yes, ma'am," Lupin agreed, grinning at her.  She was a spitfire and then some.  He looked down at Xander, giving him a sad smile. "I'm sorry I misjudged, Xander.  It's my fault you got shot again and I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have asked."

"No, I wanted you to ask, you did everything I could have wanted, but I let you down by letting you get more hurt."  He bent down to kiss him, earning a small moan of pain. "Sorry.  I'd offer you some alcohol but she might hit me."  The doctor nodded.  "See, she's mean."

"She's efficient and very good at what she does," Goemon chastised. "Besides, it would harm the painkillers working.  Then he'd be in more pain."

"If it were me, I'd be screaming and crying for morphine," the doctor offered.  "I'm being as gentle as I can, Xander."

"I know.  I'll live."

"Good."  She went back to work, gently getting what needed to go away gone, then spreading some creme over the area to keep out infection before rebandaging it.  She wrapped them around his chest. "There, now you match Goemon.  Let me check your stomach," she said lightly.  He winced as he rolled onto his side, putting his arms above his head.  "Just get comfortable, Xander."  He wiggled some, his hands going under his head.  "Thank you."  She peeled off that gauze and nodded. "That one doesn't look too bad.  It does look painful.  Did they get out the bullet?"  He nodded.  "That's good.  It's competently stapled and stitched inside.  I'll just watch it for you."  She turned him over, watching as he winced again but Lupin put down his liquor to help him move.  "There we go, just the one I did earlier."  She checked him over, gently touching the outer edges.  "I'll get some antibiotics for you at the next port," she promised gently.  "I've only got a limited store on here."  He looked up at her and nodded.  "Trust me, Xander, I'm not going to make you suffer.  Now, lets sit you up," she offered, letting the men do that.  "I'll have the captain call ahead to get some."

"You can call our usual one and have him call it in," Lupin offered.  "We can have it delivered in a few days when we land in Japan."

"I want him on the antibiotics tomorrow, Lupin the Third.  He'll need it.  His back was already infected and the other two could easily infect.  We're going right past a port tomorrow, I can have some called in and delivered out to the ship. They're used to it."  He nodded, letting her handle it.  "I've also got his usual medical file, full and complete, including his last exam.  Do I need to do anything about your knees?"

"They've been fixed," he offered quietly.

"That's fine.  Go sleep somewhere comfortable.  I'll have that delivered as soon as we can."  She stroked his cheek.  "Let them baby you.  One's guilty and the other one thinks of you like his favorite troublesome son."  He nodded, letting the other men help him up and back to their cabin.  She cleaned up again, taking the trash with her to the special incinerator they could use for medical waste, then went to tell the captain what to call in and have delivered.  He needed stronger stuff than she had on board.  If he wasn't in pain, she wanted to cry for what he went through.

***

Lupin got up in the morning and found Xander actually sleeping so smiled and curled up next to him.

"Want juice and stuff from the buffet?" Jigen asked quietly.

"Please.  Get the usual for him."  Jigen nodded, putting on some clothes so he could get them some food.  He came back up a moment later with a large tray.  "Goemon?"

"Yeah, apparently he's hoping that Xander can be adopted."

"That'd be odd, we'd have to call Goemon father-in-law."  Jigen smirked at him, but let them put the tray over Xander's lap.  "We shouldn't wake him."

Jigen kissed Xander's cheek, noticing it was cool.  "He's breathing, right?"

Lupin checked and nodded.  "He's got a good pulse too.  Why?"

"He's chilled."

"Wonderful."  They checked, there wasn't any blood on the bed.  Xander was still sleeping and alive.  Apparently he was cold.  So they moved the tray and piled on another blanket, right up to his neck this time.  "It's probably the drugs she's got him on," Lupin offered quietly.  Jigen nodded, digging into his food.  They left half of it on the tray for Xander, knowing he'd be hungry.  He probably hadn't eaten much yesterday.

Jigen got up to put the tray on a nearby table.  "Goemon, can you turn up the heat?  He's cold."

Goemon nodded and closed the door in front of him, which helped a lot.  "Better?"

"Much.  Thanks.  He's not awake yet."

"He needed his rest anyway," Goemon noted.  "His medicine should be here in a few hours."

"Thanks.  Tell us when and if something happens," Lupin called.  Xander moaned and started to move but winced and moaned for a different reason.  "Shh, Xander, I'm sorry I woke you," he soothed.  Xander flipped over, cuddling Lupin's other side even though he was now in danger of falling off the bed.  Jigen came over to help move them both, getting Xander comfortable again.  Xander wiggled under the blankets, making them grin at each other.  Sometimes he was such a kid.

Goemon came up the stairs with a bag.  "It came early."  He looked at the lump of blankets.  "She said to get him to eat and take them immediately, and no sex until he was back in his right mind."

"Damn," Lupin complained, but he did start by stroking Xander's hair to gently wake him up.  "Xander?" he called softly.  He yelped as he got bit.

Goemon took the direct approach, lifting the edge of the blankets.  "We've got breakfast, pain killers, and antibiotics here but you must get up.  It's time."  Xander grumbled something.  "I am a father.  Of course I sound like one.  As I told you last night, sometimes you act like one of my children, plus you are young enough to be one.  Now, get up so you may eat and take your medicine, then you can go back to sleep after you wash up a bit."  He moved the blanket, letting Lupin help him so he was sitting up comfortably.  He got the tray and put it across the pouting man's lap.  "Quit, Xander.  We got you most of your favorites and they left you most of them."  He handed over the bag.  "You must eat and take the proper dosage."

"Thank you, Goemon."

"You're welcome."  He pulled a chair over to sit down.  "I've seen Arsene and she's much better behaved this morning.  Whatever you did worked."

"He grabbed her by the hair and gave her a taste of reality," Lupin said calmly.  "She was scared by the time he was done."

"As she should be.  Her arrogance would be something that would get my son killed," Goemon agreed.  "Jigen, sit."  Jigen sat down, getting comfortable on the foot of the bed.  "Need the ashtray?"

"No, I'm fine," he admitted, puffing on his current cigarette.  "Does it hurt a lot?"  Xander shook his head.  "No?"

"No, not really.  I still need a new glass eye.  This one is the wrong size and color."  Xander ate a bite of english muffin with peanut butter.  "Wow, homemade."

"Yeah, your chef is amazing," Lupin agreed with a gentle smile.  "Eat all you want.  We'll finish off whatever you leave."

"You can have some," he protested.

"We've already eaten, Xander. Finish it and we'll clean up the crumbs."  He stroked down the non-bandaged part of his husband's back.  "Did you want to stop in Japan for more than a day?"

"No, I'll be good with a day," he admitted.  "I can call the guy who made my first glass eye, he's got a few more of them ready."  He ate another bite, looking at them.  "You're sure you want to do this job with two cops panting and pouting?"

"Yeah, they were recalled," Jigen offered.  "The Commissioner wants to disband their unit.  He wants Pops to retire.  He wants Suharto to take over both Lupin cases. When someone, namely Melissa, called in to point out that both groups could be working at the same time in different parts of the world, he threw a fit.  Suharto actually quit.  He said he could not and would not cater to Arsene's delusions and that being a simple cop would be nice."  Xander gave him an odd look. "His words."  He shrugged.  "Pops is being put back into a consulting position with his whole crew going with him.  They're redesigning the building and the units.  They'll be teaching the new idiots how to chase everyone else."  He smirked at Lupin, who wanted to give the other news.

"Then the Commissioner quit.  Right after taking us off the Top Ten and banning any Lupin from it ever again."

"Poor man.  Did he go shoot himself before Arsene flew off to kill him?"

"Yeah, basically," Lupin agreed dryly, smirking at him.  "We're still doing the job in Japan.  We'll go back to doing it in leisurely style though.  What do you think of the kids going back to their own ship?"

"Nope." Xander broke open his favorite type of muffin and buttered the still warm halves.  "They need training in the more advanced stuff, even like this.  What about the rest of us?" he asked, popping a bite into his mouth.

"You," he said with a kiss to the cheek, "were asked to help consult by the commissioner."  Xander choked so he patted him on the uninjured part of his back.  "Calm down, Melissa turned him down.  She pointed out all either Ray had to do was to ask you for help and you would for certain cases, but that you'd look bad in the uniform.  It wouldn't go with your eyes at all," he said with a small smirk. "So we're all cleared off the list."

"Pending what the next guy does," Jigen added for good measure.

"He won't put us back on.  Interpol just got a budget cut and we cost them more than anything else they've got.  Even traveling to take out the rest of the Top Ten list isn't quite as bad as ours and our bounties.  So they got some guys who'll be cheaper, pay the others as consultants, which cuts down on their pay and their office space, plus it cuts down on the airfare costs.  We should give them what they need if Interpol doesn't," he said smugly.

"Yeah, right," Jigen snorted.

"Dawn's got a pretty good computer system going, she borrowed some of my people to help her," he admitted.  "If they can transfer their stuff that they've already got it should be fine.  They've got that old barn out behind the house they can renovate.  I'm sure both Rays could do that quickly."  Xander ate another bite of his muffin.  "Otherwise I might donate some of my older stuff.  Maybe like the faulty personality chip," he added with a smirk when everyone stared at him.  "Do you think Gramps could deal with an AI that spoke like a Drag Queen from the Valley?"

"It'd drive him insane," Goemon assured him. "Good job, I want to see that," he said with a smirk for the boy.  "We'll let you talk to Melissa and Dawn later, once you're ready for your next dosage.  Finish up so you can have the pain killers.  She said to take them after you ate."

"Yes, Goemon."  He finished what he wanted, leaving half of his last english muffin on the plate and a few other things.  He popped one last grape with a moan and took his pills with his glass of milk, lying down again.  "I'm full."

"I'm sure you are," Lupin said, giving him a gentle kiss. "Belch a few times to make room for it all, Xander."  He grinned at him.  "Want cuddled?"

"No I'm good if you've got to go do stuff for your job in Japan."

"We could, but we'd only be downstairs," Lupin promised.  "You're sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay, then you rest.  We'll have Ishi or someone come up to check on you in a while once he joins us."  They headed down the stairs together.  "Thanks, Goemon.  He's letting us take care of him this time."

"He did the first time but he wasn't sure why you were at the time.  Now he knows why you take care of him."  He found his son sitting on the couch with a hand over his eyes.  "What happened?"

"Naked women flashing us up on the deck."  He looked at his father. "Did you know there's a whole nudist's cruise line?"  His father slowly shook his head. "There is.  They invited us over."

"I don't believe you need to go," Goemon assured him.

"That's what I told them, that we were pulling out of port in a few hours.  But our lovely young ladies decided to get into the spirit so I had to see my sister naked, again.  Then I accidentally saw Melissa naked.  She's got a very nice set of tan lines from her thongs."

Jigen snickered.  "You can hide down here from the naked women and help us plan, Ishi."

"Thanks.  How's Mom?"

"Better.  He just ate and had some medicine," Lupin offered.  "You can go curl up next to him if you want."

"I wouldn't mind."  He grabbed a book and headed up the stairs. He grinned at Xander, who waved him inside.  "I come to help you back to sleep."  He sat beside him, opening the older book.  "This is a story of...."

"Why are you reading to me, Ishi?"

"I'm getting in practice for when I have nephews thanks to the naked chicks on the deck," he said dryly.  "Did you know there's a naked cruise line?  They wanted us to come over but we couldn't so the girls decided to get naked and party with them on our own ship. I saw them all naked."  He shuddered.

Xander pulled him down to hug and kiss the top of his head.  "It'll be okay.  We'll find you your own girl to get possessive over."  He let him go.  "You ....you can read if you want."

"Thanks."  He grinned, settling in to read to him.  It was good practice for future offspring and nephews or nieces. Besides, no one had ever read to Xander before, he had admitted that a few years back when Melissa had been sick and asked what his favorite bedtime story had been.

Downstairs, Lupin and Jigen shared a smile, then grinned at Goemon.  "He's a good son," Goemon said simply, sitting down to help them with this job so they could get something special for Xander.

***

Fujiko walked on once the ship had docked, smiling at the men waiting to get off.  "You're leaving me again, aren't you?"

"We've got to pick up two things and Xander's got to get his fake eye replaced," Lupin said, kissing her on the cheek. He grinned at the scowling Alex.  "We'll be right back, in maybe two hours, and then we'll go again, princess.  Okay?"  She shook her head, hugging him.  "Ooh, you poor baby."  He kissed her too, making her smile.  "Just two hours?  We'll bring you back a candy bar if you promise to share it with your daddy."

"Okay, but you come back quickly," she scolded.  "Bring me candy."  He nodded, grinning and handing her off to Jigen to get his own hug and kiss.  Once she was down she hugged her uncle with a bright grin, showing off her missing tooth, then ran to their suite.  She liked her room.

"I don't like girls," Fred pouted at his father.  "They're icky."

"They'll get better as you get older, Fred, I promise," Lupin assured him.  "We'll talk about the icky girl later, okay?  Give us two hours?"

"Sure, daddy."  He drug the other two boys down the hall, letting them wave. "Come on, the parents need to kiss and have sex."

Goemon looked at his wife, smiling at the lump he could see.  He gently reached out to stroke it, even though she slapped him for it.  "Thank you, Fujiko."  He kissed her, making her go limp against him.  "I missed you.  Let Xander sleep, he's taken his pain medicine just now.  The doctor for his eye will be in shortly."  He kissed her again.  "Then we will celebrate."  He let her go, following his cohorts out of the port building and to the car.

"I saw, man, congrats," Jigen offered.

"I hope it's a daughter," he said, smiling back.  "Let's go.  I have to celebrate later."

"Sure, daddy," Lupin teased.  "Should we stop to pick up some special stuff for you?"

"I can't think of any we'd need.  We have champagne on board.  We have chocolate.  We have nuts."  He shrugged.  "My wife is usually more than happy with those.  Perhaps I can get her back into that bathing suit."

Jigen laughed.  "You've got it bad, Goemon.  Let's go, Lupin, before the kids starting timing us and pout us to death."

"Sure," he agreed, speeding off into the early afternoon.

***

Xander woke up to a gentle stroke to his face.  "Hmm?  Fujiko?"  He pushed himself up with a moan of pain.  "Time for medicine?"

"No, Xander, your doctor's here.  How did you stand twins?"

"Easy, no choice," he said dryly, looking at her stomach.  "Hmm, not two girls," he said, heading down the stairs to flop onto the couch.  "Hi, doc."

"Konnichi wa, Xander.  Let me check your socket and remove that other eye."  Xander laid down with his head in the guy's lap, closing his other eye.  "Yes, this is just as easy as it is in the office."  He lifted the lid, picking up a small pair of padded forceps to take out the temporary eye.  "Hmm, that was too big.  There's some muscle strain."

"Will it matter?"

"You should let it rest and heal, Xander."

"Doc, I hate having that socket open."

"Fine, are you sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Very well.  I brought all three new models.  Which one do you wish? The one with distance and wind speed?  The one with the camera?  Or the regular one?"

"Shit.  We're heading home.  Fujiko, where are the cats?"

"Back in France.  I've already had them taken home by Homer."  She sat down.  "Get the one with the camera.  I heard it's useful."

"It is, but it's also annoying and Lupin now knows how to log into it."  He looked up at his doctor, then at the other eye.  "That's why it hurt."

"Yes, I'm afraid so," he offered, putting it down onto some tissues.  "I can leave them here. It really should rest for a day, even though you do hate to do so."  Xander moaned.

"You're going to be asleep anyway," Ishi offered from the staircase, coming down them.  "It's not really going to matter so much, mom."

"I know," he sighed. "I still hate the feeling of it being empty.  I can feel the wind going through it and things."

"Well, I can put one in.  Which one would you like?"

"I guess the speed and distance because we've got to work on the kids' training."

"Very well."  He picked it up.  "Close your eyes, Xander."  He did so while the doctor wet down the eye with sterile contact lens solution.  "I'll leave all three with you this time," he promised.  "Plus some more solution."  He opened the empty socket, not watching as Fujiko shuddered.  Instead he gently shoved the glass eye back into the correct spot, adjusting it so it looked like he was looking straight ahead.  "Did you want to be cross-eyed again?"

"No," Xander said with a chuckle.  "Thanks anyway."  The doctor wiped off the area around his eye, then let him sit up.  "Thanks, doc."

"You're welcome, Xander."  He checked the orientation, adjusting it a bit with a gentle finger.  "There you go.  Looking straight ahead and everything."  He patted him on the side of the face.  "I've got a case for the others and some solution to go in there."  He wrapped the others up so they couldn't be scratched, then put them into the special box he had made. He handed over the small box.  "There you are.  If you need the forceps I can leave a pair here as well."

"No, I'm one of those 'sticky thing on the fingers' guys," he admitted sheepishly.  A pair of forceps was handed over as well.  "Do I owe you anything?"

"No, Xander. You invested in my company and it's going very well.  By the way, on the table is the latest statements for that wonderful woman, Murami, to look over.  Tell her I still wish she would have lunch with me.  I'd like to copy her eye color, it is most amazing."  He bowed to them.  "Have a nice day, all."  He walked out, leaving them alone.

Xander let out a yawn and put the box back down.  He flopped backwards, then shot back up, back arched.  "I forgot about that," he admitted with a small hiss.

"Come on.  The bed upstairs is very soft so it does not bother you," Ishi said patiently, helping him up and up to the bed.  He tucked him in.  "Do you need another story?"

"No, I'm good," he said with another yawn.  "Thanks, Ishi."

"You're welcome. I'll put those in the cabinet.  That way the kids can't play with them."  He went down, putting them beside the tv.  "There, that way we don't have to see the kids playing with them."  He looked at his mother.  "I see I am to have another sister?" he asked politely.  She nodded.  "I'm sure father will be pleased.  Kids, I'm heading down to our room.  Want to come watch the fish?"  No answer so he went to check on them.  They were asleep curled around Yu.  "Awww."  He pulled out his phone to take a picture of it, sending it to his father's phone, which was in the bedroom by the way it was ringing.  He went back to his room to show the others, getting stereo 'awww's from Melissa and Lotus.  "Also, the maternal unit is giving Father another daughter."

"Good, father needs a daughter to spoil," Lotus agreed dryly.  "Arsene, there's a picture of the kids."  Arsene came out of her room to look at the picture, then handed it back before heading back to her room.  "Are you all right?"

"No, I fucking well suck," she said, slamming her door again.

"I think it's about time we talked to someone about her depression," Melissa said quietly.  "My dad?"  Everyone nodded, Jigen wouldn't sugar-coat anything but he wouldn't be mean about things either.  "Fine, when he comes back."  She settled in to read.  "Are you okay, Ishi?  You've been up there a lot."

"I've been reading bedtime stories to mom," he admitted, sitting next to her.  She looked stunned, then hugged him.  "I thought he needed some and deserved to have that experience since my father seems to have adopted him."  He grinned at her and patted her on the back.  "Off, Melissa.  Should we run off to get tampons and stuff."

She sniffled, nodding as she pulled back.  "Yeah, we should."  They got on outside clothes and headed off the ship to the giftshop in the port building.  When that didn't work, they headed for a taxi and a major grocery store.  They got back about as their parents did, barely making it back on the ship.   They held up their bags.  "Sorry, necessities," she said sheepishly.  "The gift shop didn't have enough chocolate on hand."  She grinned at her dad.  "Arsene's depressed."

"I'll talk with her tonight," he offered.  "Xander?"

"Has a new eye in and is back in bed, but the kids were all napping."  Ishi showed him the picture he had taken, making all the parents grin.  One of the crew came up to close the door, handing over the dropped bag.

Lotus countered, then grimaced.  "Um, we're missing six or seven bags," she complained to the others.

"Shit!  We must have put them in the boot of the taxi."

The crew member sighed and called the captain, who nudged them back into port so Melissa could run out and check, and he got the one that was floating in the water.  "There you go.  Just tell us when you're ready."

"Sorry," Lupin offered with a grin.

"It's not a problem, sir.  Commercial lines have this sort of problem all the time for missing people."  Melissa came back with the bags, getting back on board.  "Do we need to run out for anything?"  They sat down to look in the bags, then Lotus ran back to the gift shop.  "Necessities?"

"Soda, chocolate, tampons, midol," Melissa told him.

"Ah, teenage and girl necessities," he said wisely.  "My sister has those sort of problems.  Speaking of, sirs and ma'am.  My sister is presently getting ready to graduate from a fashion school with interior design skills.  She'd like to apply to work on those other rooms."  His eyes grew wide when he saw who was escorting the girl back to the gangplank.  "Who is he?" he squeaked.

"Hey, Homer," Melissa called.  "Come on.  You can ride with us."

"Thank you, Melissa.  I've always enjoyed ships.  I even brought an offering if we have a moment to load on the wine and cheese from Xander's new vineyards.  He sent too much to the houses over here."

"Sure, I want to taste some of this stuff," Lupin ordered, waving a hand.  "Please.  Coopt Ishi and Lotus if you need to."

"No, I can get them, they're not that heavy."

"I'll help," Ishi offered, following him out to his car.  "You can get the car on board too."

"It's a rental," he said with a shrug.  They carried in the food, Homer coming back to do a last check and take everything else with him.  He saw a security guard storming his way.  "I'm going back with some friends.  It's a rental," he ordered, standing up fully.  "Thank you for having them come get it."  He bowed and went back on board the ship, handing Lupin that last round of cheese.  "The case had six of those."

"Cool," he agreed happily.  "Someone go get some crackers and some of the wine, we'll have some in our suite.  C'mon, big guy, we'll find you a room later.  Xander's in bed because he's injured."

"Of course he is.  That happens nearly as often as he's kidnaped," Homer agreed as he followed them.

The crewmember watched as everyone disappeared, checked the loading area and the gangplank, then pulled it back in and closed the door again, ignoring the things floating in the water.  Those tampons probably weren't going to be any good now anyway.  He found Lotus looking at something.  "Still missing something?"

"I had a caramello bar," she complained.  "I miss caramel."

"You could ask the chef, he does it very well," he promised.  She beamed up at him and his whole mood lightened.  Such pretty girls were allowed leeway in his book.  "Want some help?"

"Please."  She handed over half the bags, walking ahead of him.  She opened the door since she had a freer hand, letting him put down things on the floor.  "Thank you.  I'll walk you back toward the kitchen."

"Thank you, ma'am."  He smiled again, walking up with her.  "So, those cats of yours were pretty interesting."

"They are, but they're Mom's and Uncle Jigen's.  I'm just a comfy lap for them to cuddle on," she assured him with a grin.  He chuckled at that.  "Didn't one of the kittens keep coming down to help you?"

"Help my roommate actually, ma'am, but he's still with us.  He's a happy little guy.  Where's the others?"

"France, sucking up the house keeper," she said with a sheepish grin.  "My maternal unit said so and she's rather pregnant."

"I saw.  I also heard your father saying he wanted another daughter.  Can't understand why when he's got one like you.  You're beautiful, smart, and skilled, what more could he want in a daughter?"

Lotus blushed.  "Thanks."  She opened the door to the dining area/restaurant.  "There you go.  I'm off to get some caramel.  Have a nice trip."

"Jones, ma'am," he offered, taking off his cap.

"Jones then," she agreed.  "I'm Lotus."  She patted him on the arm and headed into the kitchen to hug the chef and blatantly beg for caramel.  He saw her coming and opened the refrigerator to show off the dessert toppings.  "Oh, you precious man!  You have caramel!"  She hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.  "Thank you!  We've got an extra guest, one Homer Peacekeeper.  He's the big guy."

"I'll make allowances, Miss Lotus. Did you need anything else?"

"Nah, he's a tea guy like daddy and they're all nibbling the new cheese and wine in their suite.  I'm headed there now."

"I'll make dinner a bit later for you then," he promised, smiling as she walked out, stopping to hug Jones too.  Interesting.

Lotus walked into the adult suite and grinned.  "I met the nicest crew member and we have caramel in the kitchen, along with some chocolate sauce.  The chef said he'd make dinner later for us and I told him about Homer."  She sat down, taking some of the sliced cheese to taste. "It's very subtle."

"It's not aged yet.  As it ages it'll earn that sharp bite," Homer told her.  "I like this for fondues though.  It's mild and it melts wonderfully."

"I can see this pouring over something a bit salty," Melissa agreed happily, taking a sip of her wine.  "This wine is fantastic however.  Mild, with a slight aftertaste, but crisp and clean, like the flavor doesn't really pollute your tongue."

"You took wine tasting lessons?" Homer asked.

"No, I just know what I like," she admitted with a grin.  He grinned back.  "You?"

"I used to only drink saki.  Xander made me taste a lot of red wines for him so I appreciate the others. "

"Mom likes those too-sweet ice wines for drinking," Melissa told him.

"Yes, they were quite sweet, but he always paired them with bitter chocolate."   He sipped his wine.  "It is like how the taste explodes when you bite into a fresh pepper."

"Exactly," Melissa agreed. She nibbled another bite of cheese.  "We really should have some bread."

Ishi picked up the phone, calling down to the kitchen. "Chef, can we steal some bread for this cheese?  Sure, I can bring you a big chunk to taste.  Want some of the wine too?"  He grinned.  "Sure.  Come on up."  He hung up.  "He'll be right up.  This way he can taste it without having to break into the bigger masses.  I never knew this kind of cheese came in wheels that big."

"Often, and bigger for some types.  There are table-sized blocks of parmigiana cheese.  It's also very hard to cut.  Xander had me cut into one of his blocks for him once.  Apparently half went somewhere as a present."

"I'm sure they were very happy people," Ishi said dryly.  "I remember that thing it was huge!"  Melissa grinned at him. "It was.  That thing you thought was a round table was that wheel of cheese."  She giggled.  "I'm thinking he sent it to Ray's ma."

"Probably," Goemon agreed.  "He seems to like her."

"He needed a mother like her," Lupin pointed out.  "It would have made him an incredible good guy if he'd had one."

"Yeah, but then we'd be Xanderless," Jigen said dryly, swirling his wine around before taking another sip.  "I can be selfish at the moment."

"Me too.  Ishi, how did his eye thing go?"

"A new one's in.  The doctor left a few spares.  They're in the box by the tv."  He sipped his own wine.  "I still think I like saki better."  His father smiled at him for that.  "What?"

"It took us four years to make your father drink anything besides saki," Lupin told him, shaking his head.  Someone knocked. "Enter!"  The chef came in, handing over some bread.  "Thanks, man.  This is great, unaged, cheddar."

He nibbled a bite then smiled. "It is very good.  What farm is this?"

"Xander's," Melissa said with a nod.  "Henri begged him to buy that and the vineyard."  She handed over her glass.  "This way you don't have to take a paper cup."

He sipped delicately, then gulped the rest.  "That is very good.  I can think of many dishes to use that on.  I'll have to call Henri to make sure we get our share of the inter-corporate profits."  He smiled at them.  "When should I make dinner?  I was making the pork chops again."

"I loved those," Ishi told him in awe.

"Thank you, young man.  Say eight?"

"Eight would be fine," Lupin agreed.  "Xander may not be up to eating in there but we'll try or bring him back his plate.  Need help?"

"No, I'm fine.  Thank you for bringing this for me."  He nodded and left them alone, going to experiment with that cheese.  It was smooth and mellow, it would go well in many things.

***

Dawn looked around the space they had gutted.  Then she looked at the demon she had captured.  "Okay, fix it.  We need electrical outlets, computer outlets, and a big wall of monitors for briefings.  Just like the pictures I drew up."  The demon didn't move. "Now, or else I'm not letting you go. I'll make you babysit instead."

The demon shuddered and did as she asked, even making sure it all worked, otherwise she'd be in trouble.  Those children were horrible.  She did have orders from a Great One to import some things from his house nearby so she did that as well.  That cube was plugged into a computer and loaded itself, making her wince.  She hoped it was a good thing.  She looked at the old furniture they had brought, making it all comfortable with stain resistant and burn resistant protections.  Then it felt it's leash loosen so it slipped free and disappeared.  It did make one more helpful thing, blocking all Great Ones from the computer finding them.

Dawn looked at where the demon had been, then snorted. "Fine, as long as it works."  She walked over to look at the servers, noticing the cube that was plugged in.  "What are you?"  She picked it up and it zapped her, but the computer picture above her wavered.  "Hi, are you a techno demon?"

"No, dudette, I'm your new Artificial Intelligence.  My sister unit's *so* chilin' in Paris.  Whoa!  So am I now!  Killer!"  It's voice was kind of lower baritone, but it had whiny underhints and it sounded like every flaming, limp-wristed queen she had ever met in any gay club.  Not that she didn't like her drag queen buddies, but this one was worse than most of them combined.

"Who programmed you?"

The face on the multi-screen unit crinkled up.  "You don't have to be mean about it!" it said in a squeaky voice.

"Sorry, didn't meant to upset you, just wondering who I could thank for sending you."

"Xander," he said with a sniffle and a small smile.  "He thought you could use me to track those totally heinous people who do mean and nasty things to others, like pinch them on the behind but don't go further."

"Do you have a name?"

"Al."

"Okay, Al, how do you like your servers?"

"They need to be connected together and I need a *bit* more room.  I'm not chunky," he said quickly, "but I am muscular."

"I can see that.  I'll have another few Gigs added for you or so," she promised, going to call the office to get the rest of their stuff and Tech Support in to make sure everything worked right.  She should have expected Xander to have helped with that.

Kowalski walked in with Bix, making her and Al smile.  "This is the new office," he said, letting her sit down at his desk. "How do you like it?"

"It feels demonic."

"I had one of them decorate," Dawn told her.  "Saved me from moving stuff.  Oh, we got a present from Xander," she said, pointing at the screen.

Ray looked.  "Hey, Al.  How's it hangin'?"

"The waves are smooth on the 'net and I'll soon have a bigger space for my very well built body," Al teased.  "Don't you just wish you could be in here with me?"

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't have Bix," he said, nodding at his wife with a grin for her.  "We're gonna have a baby."

"OOOOH!  A BABY!" Al squealed. "You adorable man!  If I had real arms I'd hug you and her!  Even if you are het, I can forgive you for that because you'll have *adorable* babies!" he cooed.

Bix smiled.  "Thank you.  I'm sure we will.  I'll bring him by to see you after he's born."

"Of course!  You're welcome in here *any* time, sweetie.  Xander told me *all* about you and how good you were to his monsters."

"Hey, if you like kids that much, I'll gladly start bringing out some of mine," Dawn offered.

"It's babies that are cute.  Older kids are useful, babies are special and cute."

"We're hoping not to have grandchildren for years," Dawn told him.  "The kids are way too young for that."  She looked at Ray.  "Did you tell her about Homer and Melissa?"

"Homer and Melissa?" Bix asked.

"Yeah, he adores her.  When she was taken, he threw a fit," Ray said with a grin.  "He says she reminds him of his first wife."

"That's so sweet," Bix said with a smile for him.  "I'll have to send her a letter and tell her she can ask about relationship things if she wants."

"She's keeping it at the dating stage for now," Dawn told her.  "Homer's like twenty-six years older than she is," she offered.

"Sometimes you need an older man to teach you to appreciate the gentle things in life," Bix said with a blush after glancing at Ray, who also blushed a bit. She squealed and grabbed his hand, putting it over her stomach.  "Did you feel that!"

"It's a baby Goemon," he agreed, stroking her stomach.  "You can teach him whatever form of martial arts you want," he promised, giving her a kiss, then grinning at her.  "I'll teach 'im how ta be a good cop and a good shot and you teach him honor and how to kick ass like you do."  She smiled and stroked his cheek before giving him another gentle kiss.

"Not in front of us," Vecchio complained as he walked in.  He noticed the face up on the monitors.  "Who're you?"

"Al," Ray said.  "Xander sent 'im."  He stole another kiss.  "The baby just kicked her."

"Congrats, Bix," Ray said with a grin.  "Just wait, it'll be doing that all the time soon enough."  She laughed and patted him on the arm.  "Okay, what else are we doing today?"

"Upping our server size so Al's muscles aren't cramped into something that's too tight, just something that looks good on him, then we're making sure everything works and having Tech Support in," Dawn told him.  "I had a demon help us move since Xander uses imps."

"If you say so.  I'll have my chair blessed or something."  He moved it away from his desk, going into the house to get a different one.  "Xander sent a house warming present," he told Zenigata when he came in.  "We have an Artificial Intelligence named Al."

"Al?"  Vecchio nodded.  "Wonderful.  Why are you stealing chairs?"

"Dawn had the demonic decorating crew in."

"Wonderful."  He walked that way, taking his old chair from his office out to put behind his desk.  He heard the squealing and winced, walking inside.  "Hi."  He gave his wife a kiss.  "Problems?"

"Tech Support said we can have the old servers they're getting rid of, Mark's coming over with them."  She grinned at him. "He's staying for dinner."  He cleared his throat and nodded, heading over to sit down and check his desk.  "I only made her put things together and stuff, really, guys!"

"I'd still rather not take that chance.  I like being a good Catholic boy," Ray reminded her as he walked in with the offspring who wanted to be cops.  "There, go help by making sure the files are in order."  They went to work, Sierra stopping to pat Bix on the stomach.

"You, none of those for at least ten years," Zenigata ordered.  "By the way, write your sister."

"Yes, sir.  I'll do that tonight."  She went to help, smiling up at the computer.  "Hi, Al.  How's it shakin'?  You still havin' cyber nookie with Cheyenne Mountain?"

"Sure am and he's one hot alien piece of ass," Al said smugly, smirking down at her.  "By the way, there's going to be two new Goemon children.  A boy and a girl."

"Cool.  I'll write him later too," Sierra agreed happily.

"Do you need help, Al?"

"No, I'm waiting for a looser size of storage," he admitted.

"That's fine, my man, just yell if you need me."  She looked at the cube, then up at him.  "Did you need this still or should I send it back to mom?"

"No, leave it here so we can go onto the laptops too, baby child.  They'll need me to help them with those nasty boys and girls who do naughty things, like tease."

"We usually go for those who kill and maim," Ray told him.

"Well, then they certainly need to be caught!  After all, they'll take all the pretty people away!" Al said, working himself back into a fit.

"Calm down, that's why we're here," Ray Kowalski assured him.

"That's good then," he agreed with a sniff.  He smiled at the man coming in carrying the boxes.  "Oooh, you gorgeous stud!" he said happily.  "Have you come to fit me for some new pants?"

Mark nearly dropped the server, staring at him in shock.  "Who're you?  The last time I knew Uncle didn't have an AI program in his office."

"Lavelle sent him," Ray said dryly, smirking at him.  "It's one of his."

"He's having cyber sex with the military one in the US," Savannah told him, grinning at him.  "Hi, Mark.  Need help?"

"Sure, I wouldn't mind.  There's six more just like this one outside and it looks like it's going to rain."

"OOOOH!  Not lightening!" Al shrieked, disappearing from the screens.

Mark looked at his uncle.  "Are you sure he likes you?" he asked quietly.

"No, Lavelle likes them," he said, pointing at the Rays and Bix.  "How are you feeling, Bix?"

"Pregnant.  The baby kicked a while ago," she said with a small smile.  "Should I start dinner?"

"Sure you can help me," Dawn offered.

"No, I'm in the mood to cook," she promised, sliding past her to go do that.  That way she wouldn't have to correct Dawn before she ruined another meal.

Dawn sighed. "I can cook!"

"Yeah, but she'll make food from home," Zenigata said with a smile.  "You've never been good at stir frying, Dawn."  She sighed and nodded, going to help Mark and show him what had already been done.  He and Vecchio shared a look, that had been close.  "Any news from home?" he asked.

"Yeah, the big goofball sent my Ma half a ton of cheese," he said dryly.  He leaned back in the old chair.  "Not only was it one of those hefty, huge, only used in restaurants locally wheels of parmesan, but he had it sent in the full half of the wheel, rind still on.  My Ma's in heaven, even when I told her who that was.  They're doing a benefit for their church though so it's all good to her.  He also sent her some new wine to try for him and she's delighted and sharing it with her friends."

"That's fine, he sent you a few bottles too.  They're in the refrigerator," Dawn told him, smirking at him.  "One red, one white, and one in a bottle I can't tell."

"Fine."  He went to find them, knowing she had probably chilled them too much already.  He found the three bottles in the wine cooler, so that was good of her.  He pulled them out.  "Dessert wine, dry white wine, hmm, good red wine makers," he decided, looking at the bottle.  "Not too old, so not too strong.  Maybe for dinner.  Bix, what're we having?"

"Xander said to let those age for at least six more months, if not longer," she chastised.  "The dessert red is from the experimental stuff.  The white is from the new vineyard, some of their stock from last year.  The other is a red from the new crop and needs at least a year."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "We don't need wine tonight.  Not everyone can drink it."

"Fine."  He took them out to his desk, he'd take them home later. It was cold enough out there.  "We'll need heaters out here eventually."

"That's what I forgot," Dawn complained.  "I need to capture that demon again."

Zenigata pulled her over and kissed her.  "We can hire a contractor," he assured her.  "No more demons in my house, Dawn.   You can't keep up with Xander."  He kissed her again then let her go with a pat.  "Go check on the others.  I haven't heard any screams yet."

"Yeah, well, your mother's favorite has picked up a bad Fred habit.  He's begun to try to nurse off his sisters."  She went up there anyway to check on the kids.  They had been too quiet.

"Nice job, sir," Ray said happily.

"Thanks, Zenny," Kowalski agreed with a grin for him.

"Thank you, Uncle Zenny," Mark agreed with a smile for him.  "I've never understood the dark desire for demons."

"Sometimes it's easier," Vecchio said with a shrug.  His phone rang so he pulled it out.  "Yeah, Ma?"  He smiled.  "No, I'm not doing much.  We're setting up the new office.  No, Interpol kicked us back to consulting status.  What's wrong?"  He grinned.  "Really?  Why?"  He glared at Zenigata.  "No, that's fine.  Did it come with hotel reservations or should I make you some?  Sure!  Not an issue.  We can take the train down there and everything, Ma.  No, I'm still living with Stan and Bix.  Yeah, no, actually she's in the kitchen and Stan's doing his email searches for new problems.  Sure!  Not a problem!  See ya next week, Ma.  Love you too!"  He hung up and put his head down.  "Remind me to shoot Lupin the next time I see her!"

"What did she do?" Zenigata asked.

"My *whole* family is coming over to visit for a week here and then a week in Italy."

"I'll clean tonight," Ray promised. "Rooms?"

"They're apparently got a very nice place set up for them in a small apartment.  It'll be cramped for a few days, but they can manage Ma said."  Ray looked at his roommate.  "Xander gave her his supply depot in town."

"Shit," Zenigata said in awe.  "I'll start the paperwork."

"We're consultants, you don't have to fill it out anymore," Kowalski reminded him.  "And hey, no more sand from the Middle East ever again hopefully."   Zenigata smirked at him.  "What?  They don't like me and I don't understand them.  I'm honest, not a bigot.  It's mutual distrust in this case. Ever since that cop tried to have me arrested as an unescorted girl I can't really find it in me to like 'em."

"I just don't like the sand, it gets into everything," Vecchio said sarcastically.  "How did they think you were a girl?"

"I don't know.  Who knows.  I never thought I looked like I had tits.  I still say that was Xander playing a practical joke."  His email beeped.  "Hey, the bug came too.  No, it wasn't a prank, it was a myopic cop who only saw my hair," he read.  "Eeehh, whatever."  He deleted it.  "We've got to find that bug."

"It's somewhere on Dawn," Zenigata told them.  "I got one critiquing my performance one night.  There may be others now."  He pointed at the cube device hooked to their server.

Vecchio picked up the scanner and went to find Dawn, finding her cuddling the baby who was fussing in his sleep.  "Hold still, it's on you."  He found it eventually but it was embedded.  "We'll have someone cut that out for you," he said dryly, going back to the office. "It's in her scalp, four fingers width from her left ear toward the middle of the back of her head."

"Thanks, I'll have someone yank it out later," Zenigata said.  "Scan everything else."

Kowalski took it, it was his turn this week.  They found a few more but mostly just ones in things they had known about before.  The one in Vecchio's locked drawer was new but the blush was enough to make him look.  He saw the picture of Melissa in that bikini and blushed himself.  "No wonder you locked that up," he muttered, moving on.   He shook his head, not imagining his own wife in that thing. He stopped what he was doing to give her a kiss and pat his baby.  "Did you get to see Melissa in that string bikini made of knots?"

"I saw the picture," she said with a smile.  "It'd hang off me, dear, but you can appreciate her.  She is a beautiful child, who is dating Homer."

He grinned.  "Good point.  Thanks, love."  He kissed her and went back to his scanning.  He found another set of pictures in Zenny's desk with another bug and shook his head. "I don't need ta know, just hide 'em better.  She can pick locks."  Both sets of pictures got put into pockets and he went on, finding another one in the cube but he couldn't remove it, it kept shocking him.  "Hey, Al, you've got a listening device on your cube.  Mind kickin' it out?"

"That tickles and I'm still hiding from the lightening!"

"Fine.  I'll get it later," he promised, moving onto the other stuff.

Sweet Endings.

Lupin the Third looked at the notice in his mail and knew that something had to be done, but he wasn't quite sure what he *could* do about that oddness.  He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Xander what was going on or not, and he really wasn't sure he wanted to think about the implications at all anyway.  He looked outside and saw Jigen chasing after Kenji, grinning at the picture of the frantic gunman trying to get his hat back from the junior samurai in training.  It was just so cute.  He got up and opened a window, leaning out of it.  "When you've got it back, come into the office," he called.  Goemon made an inquisitive noise beside him.  "You might wanna come too," he admitted, letting the cat sitting beside him choose which direction to go before he closed the window.  He sat behind his desk again, printing off the email from one of Xander's contacts.  They hadn't wanted to tell him either.  It was probably a wise decision not to come to him directly with this.

Jigen came in a few minutes later, wiping the sweat off his face.  "Goemon, we've got to put weights on that kid, he's too fast for me," he complained as he flopped down.  "What's up, boss?"  Lupin handed over the email, looking emotionless.  Jigen read it, then frowned and reread it another two times.  "Oh, fucking hell!" he complained, handing it off to Goemon.  "Does he know yet?"

"They didn't want to tell him," Lupin admitted dryly, leaning back so he could put his feet up.  As soon as he was comfortable, a cat jumped into his lap and kneaded, then turned around a few times and flopped down.  "Comfy?" he asked dryly.   He looked at Jigen, who was shaking his head.  "Yeah, I know, I said no pets.  She likes me though."  He shrugged and scratched her ears.  "Does anyone have any idea on how to tell him about that?"

"Nope," Jigen said, shaking his head again.  "Not a clue.  In bed?"

"I doubt that would be wise," Goemon said dryly.  "Let me do so.  I can keep him calm and see what he wishes to do about this new cult in his honor."  He stood up and walked off, finding Xander working out in the gym with Melissa.  He cleared his throat.  "May we be alone?"

"Sure," Xander said, stopping to pick up his towel.

"I meant her," Goemon said calmly.  He walked in, letting Melissa close the door behind her.  "Xander, have you had someone checking on your parents recently?"

"No, I try to ignore they still exist.  Why?" he asked patiently.

"Because they've started a cult."

"Not the first one, but okay," he admitted.  "And?  The bad of my parents being zealots is?"

"It's to you."

"Huh?" he asked flatly.

"The cult they started was to you.  That you're a holy being who has suffered and moved on, now you show them the true ways of life."

"Apparently my parents don't know what I due for a living," he said dryly, leaning on the stick he had been using while sparring with Melissa.  "And the bad of this is?"  Goemon handed over the paper.  Xander read it and burst out in giggles.  "Oh, Gods!  That's so cool!"  He let go of the stick and walked out, going to brag on this one.  "Guys!" he called, bringing the kids running.  "My parents made a cult out of me!" he said proudly, showing off the email.

Melissa giggled madly, leaning against Arsene's shoulder.  "Oh, damn, Mom," she gasped.  "That's so bad!"

Ishi shook his head while he laughed.  "I had wondered when one would start."  He hugged Xander.  "You might want to tell someone that you had nothing to do with that before they suspect the empire is involved somehow."

Xander snickered.  "I've got to tell Bastian and Homer that."  He jogged up the stairs to his room, smirking at Janus.  "You had my parents set up a cult of Me?"   Both faces sighed and rolled their eyes.  Xander pulled up his special laptop and opened the video chat, getting a relaxed and smiling, umbrella-drink in clear sight Bastian and a sweaty and calm looking Homer.  "Guys, you won't believe it!" he said, starting to giggle again.  "My parents made a cult in my image!"  Bastian dropped his drink and Homer burst out laughing.  "Yeah!  Seriously!  One of you guys found it and told Lupin!"  He held up the email in front of the camera so they could see it.   "They're in Utah holding a cult about fighting demons and living after suffering.  They obviously don't know me very well," he added with a smirk for his men as he moved the paper.

"Only you, Xander," Homer said, shaking his head again.   "Should we point out that we're not part of that movement to certain people in the government?"

"Hell yes," Bastian complained.  "I'm not part of any funky cult!"  Xander giggled again.  "Fine, I'll call someone, tell them that the Lupin/Lavelle empire is not part of that and if they actually knew what you were, the cult wouldn't really appreciate you as much.  Did you want to go see them?"

"No!" he said, grinning at him. "I'd have to hurt one of them if I saw the cult.  They're basing it on the eighteen-year-old me before I got hurt and then added in the torture part from later.  They have not a clue," he snorted.

"Perhaps you should enlighten one or two of the members, create a split," Homer suggested.

Melissa walked in to lean on her mother's shoulder.  "Hi, guys.  We were thinking about that ourselves.  After all, the grandparents don't have a clue about us either."

"You're not going near my family," Xander told her, patting her on the arm around his neck.  "They'll try to hurt you, you can't go."

"Besides, that would add in some transgender issues to the cult as well," Homer told her with a gentle smile.  "You look like you were working out."

"I was.  Mom wanted some staff practice and Ishi's got a sprained wrist."  She grinned back, then kissed Xander on the cheek.  "Are you sure we can't go?  We'll go with you if you want."

"No, dear," he said patiently.  "You can't go near my parents, they'll try to hurt you or suck you in."  He patted her on the arm again.  "Go play."

"Yes, mom."  She kissed him on the cheek, then blew one at the monitors.  "Night, guys."  She headed back down to tell the adults what he had said.

"I wonder if they've got silver hair," Homer said after a moment of quiet.

Bastian choked.  "Bad thoughts, Homer.  Behave.  Please?" he begged.  "I don't want to go to the US."

"Philip's there right now," Xander offered.  "You could ask him.  I'm going to thank him for the giggle fit.  It was really nice, I haven't had one of those in a few days."  He beamed at them.  "Everything else okay?"

"Just fine, Xander," Bastian offered.  "Everything's running smoothly.  I even popped in on Henri on the way through a few days ago.  That new Sin dish of his that he got from watching the girls, especially Melissa, is very good.  I nearly ate myself sick on it."

"I'll have to try that on my way through next time," Homer offered.  He smiled at Xander.  "Are you at home?"  He nodded.  "Then call Ray.  He should also have giggle fits."

"I think I'll pop around on them," he said with a wink.  "Have fun, guys.  Let me know if you need me.  Leave the cult guys alone to die off in peace."

"Sure," Bastian agreed.  "Right after I tell some Feebs that the rest of the empire is in no way involved in that.  Before I start getting funny looks."  He signed off, and Homer chuckled before leaving the conference as well.

Xander stood up and looked around, then decided to change into working clothes.  Just in case he wanted to do something tonight.  He showered, changed, then put on shoes and hopped down the stairs with his wallet and keys.  "I'm going to visit someone to make sure they know Bastian isn't part of that.  He said so," he called, heading out to get into his sports car and drive off.  No one heard him, they were all out in the back yard, but that was fine.  They'd figure it out.

***

Vecchio got the message on his phone, groaning at the simple phrase.  "Kowalski, did you give him my new number?" he demanded.

"No," he called back from his desk.  "I don't even have it yet.  I still need to get it."  His own phone rang so he picked it up.  "Yeah?"  He leaned back in his chair.  "What's going on?  No.  No way," he said with a smirk.  "Really?  Sure, I'll let'em know you said that.  Thanks."  He hung up and burst out in giggles, falling onto the floor to roll around.  "Oh, god, that's so bad!" he choked.

"What's going on?" Vecchio said patiently.

Zenigata looked over from his desk.  "Which crook was it this time?" he asked patiently.

"Had to be Xander, he just paged me to meet him for dinner," Vecchio said dryly.  "I don't know why."

"Go.  Maybe you can catch him," he said with a shrug.  "What's wrong with him."

"Cult," Kowalski panted.  "Xander."  He started to laugh again.

"He said cult and Xander," Vecchio reported.

Zenigata looked stunned, then moaned and hit his head on the desk a few times.  "No!  Not a Cult of Xander!  That's nearly as bad as a cult of Lupin!"  He looked up.  "Aren't the kids enough!" he yelled to his God.

Vecchio shook his head.  "I'll go find out the details."  He walked over the giggling man, heading out to his car.  He probably should change if Xander was buying him dinner.  He tended to go to nice places.  He looked at his phone again, seeing the name of the

restaurant.  "Never mind," he sighed.  "Sports bar.  I can have a steak and watch the Bulls."  He backed out of the driveway, heading for the downtown district.  It was a nice bar, he liked it a lot, but he never really got to go these days.   He plugged his phone into his hands-free set so he could call Bix so she wouldn't worry and rant if he didn't come home for dinner tonight.  She was pregnant and had done so in the past. He wanted to avoid another mood swing from the pregnant, martial arts wielding woman.

***

Xander grinned as Ray was led to his corner table, pointing at the tv behind him.  "The Bulls."

"Thanks."  He sat down, staring at him.  He had his illusion on and had dark hair at the moment.  "Cult?"

Xander slid over the email, letting him read it.  "My parents don't have a clue," he said fondly.  "Some of my guys are having to point out that they're not part of it and that I didn't sanction it.  Poor Lupin was afraid to tell me.  He had Goemon do it."

Ray read it, shaking his head with a moan.  "Those poor nuts."

"Yeah, basically," Xander agreed with a grin.  "So, how's Bix?"

"Good.  Pregnant.  Mood swings.  She cried when she found out I was going to dinner with you.  She said she was fine, she hadn't started dinner yet."  He looked up at the waitress.  "I'll have the steak special, no sauce, Chicago fries.  Beer."

"Yes, Inspector.  And for you, sir?" she asked with a grin for Xander.  "The usual?"

"Sure.  Smaller steak this time."

"Of course.   Not that *you* have to worry about your weight.  You naughty man you," she said with a pinch to his cheek before walking off.

Xander beamed at Ray.  "I like her.  She'll be getting a very good tip."

"Hopefully," he agreed, meaning hoping he wasn't going to be paying for it.  Tomorrow was payday after all.  "Why else are we here?"

"Because my vinter said that he's stumped."  He sipped his soda, glancing back at the game.  "It's not been a great year," he sighed.

"Vinter's stumped how?" he asked.

Xander looked at him, then pulled something out of his pocket.  "I want you to think about taking a side job," he said honestly.  "You're not a cop, even though I know you still consider yourself a cop, and this isn't on the illegit side in the least.  The guy I've got running Mont Blanc needs help.  He's got six new trials coming and a few more in a few months, but he can no longer drink.   His stomach's going to explode in an ulcer soon, the doctor basically told him milk, toast, and rice."  Vecchio shuddered at that.  "Yeah, exactly.  So he needs someone to taste some of the new vintages, give a real-person opinion.  Not a wine board opinion, but a real person opinion.  Someone who's not highly trained but know what he likes.  You do good at that," he pointed out gently, smiling as their food was brought, they knew him very well here.  "Thanks, babe."  He held out a hundred Euro note for her.  "Keep it."  She grinned and walked off, paying his tab out of it and pocketing the rest as her tip.  He cut into the juicy steak, made just how he liked, and moaned with pleasure.  "Ooh, I needed this," he said with a groan of delight.  "Nearly as good as sex sometimes."

"Only you don't eat your lovers that way," Vecchio said dryly.  "Or at least I hope you don't."

"Nope, not a cannibal.  Besides, my men are kinda skinny.  They'd probably end up eating me if we were in that sort of situation."  He took another bite, chewing slowly to savor it.  "That's so good."  He sipped his soda.  "Anyway, he also wanted to think about investing in this new little vineyard that's not really in the grape region of Italy, but it's got some fine product.  He thinks it'd be an asset to the vineyard and that he could combine it with the red to make something spectacular."  He shrugged.  "I know what I like, but I wanted an outside opinion.  We all know I'm not the most wine oriented guy.  He's got Jigen to taste some of it too, but he's kinda a house wine guy most of the time, with special stuff for special occasions."

"So you want a semi-educated palette that's not professional, but knows a good thing when he tastes it and can probably figure out what to eat with it?" Ray suggested.  Xander nodded with a grin.  "Don't you have a chef?"

"See, I don't want someone that professional.  I want a kinda average guy with a clue.  It's great if chefs like it, but I'd like my stuff to appeal to the average people just as much as I do to chefs.  Besides, if you like it, Henri probably will to, and then he'll pass it on and other chefs will probably like it as well."

"Going for the least educated palette means that you know you've got a top product," Vecchio supplied.

"Yeah.  If the average guy likes it, then everyone else probably will too."

"I'll consider it."

"I never expected more than that.  I do have to tell you I will be paying you out of the legitimate side's funds.  I have no problem with the vineyard paying you for your services.  You'd get free wine.  Probably three or four bottles of each type to try.  You'd get some time in Mont Blanc now and then too probably.  My vinter is a wild guy who might call now and then to chat and ask you what you like," he offered with a shrug.  "He did that to me for the first few months.  He even got me during sex a few times.  That's why there's that chocolate aftertaste wine," he admitted with a grin.

"I did like that with the dessert the other night," Ray admitted.  "It went very well with Ma's souffle.  Have I said yet that I want to kick your ass for bringing my whole family over without any notice?"

Xander beamed.  "You needed a visit from her. Besides, someone wanted to prove they were better than you ever were and it was going to endanger her.  It got her out of harm's way, Ray.  I like your mother.  She's a neat woman who's very sweet.  I wish like hell my own mother was like her.  Instead I have one that started a cult out of an unrealistic and old version of me."  He shifted some and ate another bite of his dinner but he wasn't that hungry anymore.  Talking about his parents depressed him.  "Besides, your mother wanted to visit her former home once more time before she died," he said gently.  "She got to do that and it made her life."

"It did," he agreed.  "Especially since she bought a house."  Xander smiled, a warm, affectionate smile, at that.  "You like that?"

"She's a great woman who deserved to have great things in life, Ray.  You don't find many women like her now.  I hope like hell I imparted some of that into Savannah and the others so they grow up and finally end up like her."

"Savannah is.  Ma took to her right away," he admitted.  "She knew she was yours."  Xander nodded.  "How many times have you visited my mother?"

"About each time I go to Chicago.  The first time I popped in as a delivery guy, handing over an envelope of the recent pictures I'd taken of you and a short note typed out about what you had been doing.  She invited me in to see what was going on and to ask questions.  Maria was the one who figured out I wasn't quite the delivery guy I was pretending to be.  She's one damn smart lady, Ray."

"She is," he agreed proudly.  "She threaten you?"

"Nearly instantly.  That's when I told her I liked you, that you were one of those cops that I protect because you're good and honest.  That I'd never try to corrupt you, but that I knew I was keeping you so busy you had forgotten to write or call for at least a few weeks."  He grinned again, another warm, friendly look.  "Your mother agreed with me."  Ray snorted, groaning a bit.  "So I told her about the places you had been recently and a few of your cases.  She wanted to know what I did and I was honest.  I told her I was a thief and an assassin.  That I was one of the top people on your caseload and that I was doing you an unasked for favor because you always seemed to be very happy having a great family like that.  Ma invited me for supper, I told more stories about the places you had been and some of your cases.  She invited me back the next time I was in town.  So I go each time I pass through and sometimes I arrange to pass through on my way somewhere, just to drop off pictures."  He shrugged.  "It'll keep one of your nephews from turning into me.  Ma had me talk to him."  He sipped his soda again.  "He's damn good, but I did talk him out of it.  Now he wants to be you to catch me."

Ray snickered at that.  "Maria told me about that while they were over here.  He's the one going to the college in town."  He leaned back, looking at Xander.  "Can you promise this won't compromise me?"

"Ray, why would I *want* to compromise you?  You're not on my ass.   You're a great cop, one of the sort I like to protect.  You're not working for an illegitimate business, you're going to be working for a vineyard that's owned by a person who's only technically me sometimes.  You know very well I keep both sides very separate.  I'm not letting my life

with Lupin taint anything else I do.  I'd never do that."

"I know," he agreed. "I should still try to arrest you."

"You can try, but I'm still not going to be caught today.  Remember, I can teleport.  I also know this place like the back of my hand.  I came through as an inspector once to find all the little hiding spots.  Did you know there's one behind the fish tank?  That's where that crook was that time."  Ray tipped his head in thanks for that information.  "This is one of those iffy places, but it's pretty neutral or the bookies wouldn't hang out here.  Neither would the cops.  Now, ask Zenny to make sure you can do that without being toasted for it.  I'm going to deal with the Commissioner, who's been eavesdropping this whole time, and you get to finish dinner," he said with a wink.

"I can't let you harm him."

"Ah, but you're a consultant now, Ray, not a cop."  He leaned over to grin at him.  "Just relax and eat.  I'm not going to be mean to him, just make sure some things change.  We don't like this new guy and neither does Zenny," he said quietly.  "Another unasked for, no reciprocation needed, favor."  He got up and walked away, heading down to where the new Commissioner was waiting, grinning at him.  "Hi," he said fondly.  "How are you tonight, sweetie?  Are we on for a little bit of...dancing later?" he asked with a small smirk.  The man went pale and Xander winked again.  "You know where I'll be.  Come find me for some fun."  One of the people at the table stared at the new commissioner in shock, Zenigata hadn't known he was like that!  "Bye-bye now.  You have a nice night, officer.  Don't forget your hat and handcuffs.  I'll be waiting."  He put his hands in his pockets, which showed how well-built he was, then walked off, going out to go clubbing.  He needed some stress relief before he had a rant about his parents.  It was funny but he still wanted to kill them now that it had sunk in.

Zenigata looked at his current boss.  "I didn't know you were dating Lavelle, sir," he said dryly, startling the others at the table.  "Yeah, that was him.  Now you know why we can't catch him."  He shrugged and dug back into his dinner.  "He'll be clubbing later.  Vecchio, what was that about?  We couldn't hear very well."

Vecchio brought his dinner, his beer, and the email down, grabbing an extra chair so he could sit down to eat with them.  He handed over the email.  "He was giggling earlier but I think the reality is hitting him now and he's a bit pissed at them," he offered.  "He also offered me a job working for his vineyards tasting the wines.  He wanted the lowest common denominator pleased so everyone else would definitely like it."  He ate a bite of his steak.  He grinned at the waitress.  "Box his up for me, would you?" he asked.  "I'll take it home with me."  She smiled and nodded, going to do that for him. "Thanks."  He looked at his boss again, seeing him drop the paper in shock, staring open-mouthed in his direction.  "So he's heading toward pissed that his parents are using him again, sir."  He sipped his beer.  "It pays pretty well though.  He does separate the businesses out very well.  Can I do that?"

"How much?"

"About two grand a month."

"For tasting wine?"

"I figure I'm going to be doing a lot of lot tasting," he admitted dryly.  "He's got some of the old line lots, some of the new mixes his vinter is working on, and his vinter wants to buy an Italian place too."  He took another bite.  "It's very good wine though.  That's what I served when Ma was in town."

"That was good," he agreed.  "It went very well with your mother's souffle."

"It did.  He said the vinter called him during sex a few times to get his opinion on things."

"Yeah, it did make you feel sexy," he agreed, thinking about it.  "Dawn jumped me that night.  Twice."  He shrugged and dug back into his dinner.  "I'll ask the ethics people.  Maybe you can.  We are on a short salary at the moment."

"Especially with the baby coming," Ray reminded him.  "Speaking of, did our raise go through?"  Zenigata pointed at the commissioner beside him.  So Ray looked at him. "Did our raise go through, sir?  You funded for less people than we have."

"That was Lavelle?" he asked.  Ray nodded.  "Why didn't you arrest him?"

"Because he's coded to only touch during jobs.  We'd have a hard time proving it was him with a bloody knife in one hand, a guy's heart in his other, and the body at his feet."  He shrugged and ate another bite of steak, accepting the box.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome, Inspector."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You're a very nice man."  She walked off, going to check on her other customers.  Either of those two made her day they were so nice.

"Even if we did catch him, he'd probably go under Mental Impairment," Zenigata said dryly.  "He probably could after what he went through."

"Huh?" the commissioner asked.  He hadn't been briefed on this yet, he'd only had his job for three weeks.

"I'll pull the files so you can be briefed on them tomorrow, sir," Zenigata offered.  "That was Lavelle, Lupin the Third's second gunman, parent to most of their spoiled horde."  He picked up the email again, rereading it.  "It's really real?"

"It's real, sir," Ray agreed dryly, smirking at him.  "One of his people found out and emailed Lupin."

"Really?" he asked, looking at the header. "Hey, it's not blacked out this time."  He smirked at him.  "Remind me to deal with that thief later, Ray?"

"Sure.  Ma's found herself a spot in Italy.  I have the feeling that Xander's money organization is funding her purchase."  He ate another bite.  "Another legitimate thing we can't prove he runs."

"He runs it?"

"Not that we can prove.  He's got people in front of him that he orders," Zenigata told him.  "We've been trying for years.  He's not listed on any of the boards of any of his companies.  We even checked to make sure that they're not covers.  They're all real people, none of them were Lavelle in a disguise.  Dawn said none of them were an illusion.  He's got some people that he gives orders to on each side of the business line and they do things for him.  He's got specialists to advise him in some things, and he wants Ray here to join their

ranks."

"Kowalski probably has one waiting if he'd ever quit being such a good guy," Vecchio offered.  "Xander would love to have him deal with his anime and comic collections.  Maybe even his kimonos since he can rely on Bix for that."

"So you're saying if you ever get fired, you've got higher paying jobs waiting in legitimate businesses that are run by some spiderweb of crime?" another of their tablemates asked.

Vecchio considered it, then nodded.  "Basically.  He uses legit people for the legit side though.  Bank people, things like that."  He dug into his fries, grinning at his boss.  "I can't wait to see Stan when he realizes he only saw the front of the warehouse for the comics collection.  Have you seen the house the collection bought?"

"I did," Zenigata said dryly.  "Again, something we could only trace back to legitimate businesses and legitimate funds."

"How many businesses does he own?"

"We have no clue," Zenigata admitted.  "We know he's got six main ones, but the people he's chosen are on different businesses as well.  We can't figure out if he's on all of them or just some of them, if they're all working for him or only some of them.  We can't unravel that.  He doesn't let anyone know these things either.  His daughter, the crook one who's taking over his empire, won't be taking over the legitimate stuff directly.  The guy who's working with him is a former spy but he's so legit it's not funny.  He works with the intelligence communities since he does a lot of that too.  He's got another samurai who deals with some of the criminals with him.  We don't know how they interact, whether or not they interact on the legitimate sides or not, whether or not the spy does since he's legit himself.  We have not a clue."

"He does everything by laptop but when we can get one it's erased," Vecchio explained.  "We're talking wiped clean and destroyed the hard drive wiped clean."  The others grimaced.  "Xander is a planning guy, he makes plans and then he finds people who can help him with them.  Like his electronics stuff, he found people with the plans for what he needed and wanted.  Some he paid, some he stole, some he built himself.  Well, probably most he built himself and taught the kids.  He's got some genius from MIT working with him to just make plans for fantasy inventions then make them work."

"Like the Fiats," Zenigata sighed. "The guy's a Bond fan, you can tell."

"He is.  Those cars are dangerous!" Ray complained.  "Melissa hit the wrong switch once and took out part of a mountain with the missile system."

"Missile system?" that cop asked dryly.  "Like real ones?"

"Like miniature ones that come from under the license plate," Zenigata told him.  "Their designer is a James Bond fan.  A very big one it seems.  Those cars have stun guns, they've got missiles, they've got guidance systems, they've got security systems that can kill a man."

"They've got a camera and screen set up so you can have a map or stuff cover the passenger's side of the windshield," Ray offered.  "Kowalski wrote a glowing report of the Fiat he got the ride in.  One's got an oil slick button, they've got tacks, they've got special cameras for when you back up that go onto the windshield."  He shrugged.  "That guy was in geek heaven for days."

"I remember.  A two hundred page report on a two day car trip, when I can't get the guy to write regular reports with enough words to fill six pages on a twenty-person arrest so the

prosecutors won't harass me for details."

"And he does all this without letting his lovers know," Vecchio told the others with a smirk.  "Lupin doesn't know what he does, until someone else tells him.  Xander was living in his house, sleeping in his bed, training at his house, and still was building and running his own empire, doing his own jobs, and destroying the nerves of a lot of cops all without letting on that he was more than Lupin's second gunman."

"Does he never sleep?"

"Only about four to six hours a day," Vecchio admitted. "He's hyper and his formative years weren't the sort you slept deeply in."

"How did he do this?  Can he be in two places at once?"

"Not as far as we know," Zenigata said dryly.

"Then of course, we wouldn't until Xander slips or until someone else tells us," Vecchio admitted. "The same as we didn't know he had an empire until Kowalski heard him talking to Bastian one day about it.  By then, it was already formed, staffed, hidden, and carefully constructed so it would last forever.  As long as there's kids of Lavelle's, there'll be his empire growing and growing.  And nothing we can do about it since it's apparently legit."

"But he's a crook."

"Yeah, but we can't prove his money came from that source," Vecchio reminded everyone.  "We can't find a money trail for the beginning stuff.  We can't find anything other than he did have a small fund when he joined the life from insurance payoffs.  He could have turned that over.  We can't know for certain.  Even if we could tape him doing a living sacrifice at a Mayan temple, catch him with the still beating heart in his hand, and capture him afterward, we probably couldn't charge him and keep him.  He's escaped from prisons.  He's escaped before we could capture him.  He can plead mental instability in a heartbeat since he was horribly tortured right before he joined the life.  The man's an enigma.  One Kowalski's studying since they're best friends.  He's the one who wrote the book on Lavelle, started the files on the kids, and fills in the gaps we don't know.  They're best friends and he's not on that case.  He's still a cop though."

"So you're both riding the line to learn more about these crooks?"

"We can't stop them so maybe it'll help someone in the future," Ray said with a shrug.  "I seriously doubt we're ever going to catch Lavelle, and if we ever do and someone uses his torture against him some day, they're going to be sorry."  Zenigata gave him a look.  "It's a petty thing that a lot of cops do," he reminded him.  "We like to gloat just like everyone else.  Someone will use that against him and they'll probably end up dying as he squeezes their windpipes closed," he noted.

"I can see that," Zenigata admitted.  "That's why it'd be better if we did it."

"It may be, sir, but I know Kowalski won't."  He ate another bite.  "I'm about to burst."  He put his fork down and looked at the other cops.  "Now you know why Interpol called us over in the first place and why they don't like us anymore.  We do good, very good, with everyone but Lupin.  We've cleared the list out a number of times, but Lupin."  He sipped his beer slowly.  "Any luck with the new guys?"

"Cocky kids who don't have a clue," Zenigata said dryly.  "One of them actually said he's bringing a real car with him wherever he goes."

"Only if he pays for it himself," the commissioner said blandly.  "Your team was moved to consulting status because you cost us so much in travel costs.  Then again, it was also paying off," he admitted.  "I don't know why the last guy did that, Zenigata."

"Neither do we. Then again, he also never read the reports we sent," Zenigata said bitterly.  "Nothing we sent made it to him.  His next-to-last day he showed up in my office, demanding information on Kowalski, Lupin the Fourth, and what we were doing.  Hadn't read a single report we'd filed since I got my own team."  He sipped his own beer.  "We explained it to him and then Dawn got hold of him."  Everyone at the table shuddered, they'd all had run-ins with Dawn while she was pregnant apparently.

"Speaking of, we've still got to get new chairs," Vecchio reminded him.

"Good point.  We can swing by one of those office places on the way home to price them."

"Were yours damaged?" the cop with them asked.

"No, Dawn used black magic to refurbish our new office, including recovering our chairs," Zenigata told him blandly.

"That works?"

"For some.  She had a demon redecorate," Ray said grimly.  "I'm not sitting in it.  I don't care if the Pope blesses it personally, I'm not sitting in it."

"We'll see about fixing your budgeting problems, Zenigata, and we'll instruct the rookies that they are to come to you for information and for help.  It's not right that they're not," the commissioner decided.  "After that little attempt to discredit me, I'm fairly tired, gentlemen.  Should we retire for the night?"

"I have the feeling that it's going to get worse, sir," Ray warned.  "He said that Lupin doesn't like you having your job.  I'm not sure *why*, but that's what he said."  He saluted him with his beer.  "So somehow you managed to irritate him."

"I'll be very careful tonight," he assured him with a small smirk. "Is Lavelle gay?"

"Bi."

"Very bi," Ray groaned.  "Man'll sleep with nearly anything as long as it's good looking.  Or he did before he was married."

"Then I'll consider that a compliment," the commissioner promised, standing up.  "Shall I get the check?"

"He got mine," Ray told him.

"I've got mine," Zenigata promised.  "Get the others, sir.  You've got an expense account."

"We'll go over your team's finances tomorrow, Inspector.  This problem will be fixed as well," he promised with a fatherly smile.  He paid the bill and walked out to his car.  He checked it over carefully but there weren't any explosives.  So he got into it and headed for his favorite playhouse.  There were some wonderful young men there and he could probably find one with long dark hair and a tightly built body.

***

Xander was in the middle of the crowd when he felt someone come up behind him, smiling at the man who joined him.  "Hey," he called.

"Hi."  Alan gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek.  "I was in town and I heard you were in town from Bastian."

"My buddies look out for me," he agreed happily, dancing with him until the song changed.  Then he drug him over to his table, which no one had gone near in the very packed club.  He sat down and waved at the nearest waitress, getting a smile and a nod.  He looked at his former lover.  "So, how went the shoot?"

"It was fabulous.  Just wonderful."  He grinned at him.  "How are the kids?"

"Okay enough.  Arsene and I got into it because she was having a moment of stupidity and ego."  He shrugged.  "It happens sometimes."  He handed over a few bills for their drinks, again smiling at the waitress before she walked off.  He looked at Alan again.  "You look good.  New man?"

"No, not really," he admitted.  "Too busy at the moment."

"That's a good thing though."

"Yes, I suppose," he agreed with a small smile.  "You?  I know your men didn't waste much time."

"They were actually kinda patient," Xander admitted.  "They gave me the time to heal and move on, then they slowly kinda moved back to touching me and hugging me when I needed it.  Then at Melissa's party we renewed our vows to merge the empires together," he finished with a small smile, holding out his ring.  "Lupin had been carrying it around and wore me down about it."

"It's very pretty, Xander."  Alan smiled at him.  "Been to any wonderful vacation-style spots recently?"

"Well, we were on the ship for a bit.  I had to go to China to rescue Ishi and Melissa.  Then we ended up on the kids' ship and went to the house in Mexico.  Then we went to Hong Kong, then sailed the ships back here."  He grinned at him.  "We've been pretty busy training mostly.  You?"

"I'm on vacation."  He smiled at the slow song that came on.  "Would you like to go again?  I know how much you like to dance."

"Sure."  Xander led him back to the floor, letting Alan hold him.  He winced as his hand brushed his side.  "Not there.  It's a bit sore."

"Were you hurt?"

"No, but the cop who shot me is a sorry person if I see him again," he said bitterly.

"Surely you expect those things," Alan said gently.

"Yeah, but that's also why I get to shoot him back," he snorted.  "Just don't touch there or my left shoulder, okay?"  Alan nodded, holding him loosely.  "This is why we broke up, Alan," he said in his ear.  "So that you wouldn't have to face these things and I wouldn't make people quit giving you jobs."

"I know, Xander.  I wish things were different."

"You and me both," he sighed, relaxing.  "My parents started a cult based on me.  The old me, plus the torture.  Not the present me."

Alan groaned.  "Your parents should be shot, Xander.  You're not a religious icon, you're a sexual one."  Xander giggled, hugging him.  "Thanks."  He grinned at him.  "So, where's a good place to go for breakfast?"

"Since I'm in town for the night, we can meet up for breakfast," Xander promised, dancing with him.  He had missed this.  Lupin didn't do much of this and Jigen hadn't yet.  "I was only blowing off steam."

"I saw.  That's why I stopped you, before the steam blew off your head."  Xander relaxed against him, making him smile.  "We are still friends, yes?"

"Of course."

"Good."  A faster song started so they moved a bit apart and went back to dancing.  They both knew nothing would happen.

***

Bastian popped up on Lupin's computer, interrupting his game of solitaire.  "Before you say anything, I'm the one who told Alan where Xander was.  Xander needed some final closure on the matter."

"I needed to know this why?" he asked.  "How are you doing that?"

"Xander installed our chat program on your computer last week.  Didn't he tell you?" he asked with a grin.

"No, and I'm going to spank him for that.  Are they okay?"

"They're fine.  Xander's blowing off some steam in a club.  I sent Alan there so they're talking and dancing.  I know at least one reporter saw him though so I'm figuring on a story tomorrow sometime and you pouncing him.  I'm trying to keep Xander unpounced for non-sex reasons."  A female giggled behind him.  "In a minute, dear."

"Of course."

Bastian grinned at Lupin's snickering.  "Yeah, I got my own Sylvia.  Literally.  She's a sweet girl.  Very British too."  He gave him another smug smirk.  "They're not doing anything but I know Xander'll probably spend some time with him tomorrow. Also, Xander used a minor ploy to annoy the new commissioner of the ICPO.  What's his issue?"

"He likes young boys, especially runaways."

"Ah.  Okay.  Well he's going to find him a Xander of his own tonight.  By the way, they took Zenigata's badge when they made him a consultant but the new guy is thinking about giving it back.  He's already sent in orders to fix it so Zenigata gets what he needs to act as effectively as before.  Including two new state-of-the-art desk chairs since Dawn decorated by demons.  Also, tell Xander that Ray's Ma has moved in.  It's a lovely house, she adores it still.  Maria and her kids are all living it high on the hog there.  They brought the remains of the cheese with them since her church said they couldn't really use it in enough time.  We got them moved and their stuff set up within a day of getting there so she didn't have to do more than order the boys around.  Six of the guys are going to work for the moving company instead of going into crime like they had been planning.  Petrie kinda scared them while we moved her from Chicago.  The mad vinter is looking for helpers besides Ray, and the offer was extended to Ray as well.  Have Jigen expect a call from Mont Blanc.  That's my report for the day.  Tell Homer I said hi and I'll talk to him later tonight.  By the way, Xander's gone beyond giggles to pissed and Melissa just took off from the airport nearest you headed for Salt Lake City."  He wiggled his fingers and disappeared with a small pop.

Lupin sat back, popping his neck before getting comfortable.  Then he did the hard thing and called Jigen.  "Jigen!"

Jigen opened the door and stuck his head in.  "Did you yell?"

"Expect a call from Mont Blanc, the guy down there needs tasters, and you're it with Ray Vecchio.  Ma's doing well in her new house.  Xander installed the conferencing software onto my computer so I just talked with Bastian, who's dating a very British Sylvia of his own, and Melissa just took off from the airport to go to Salt Lake City."

"Where's that?"

"Utah."

"Utah?  Why?"

"Cult.  Earlier discussion, ringing a bell?"

"Oh.  Oh, no," he said, groaning.  "Can we stop her?"

"Probably not without getting her into trouble."

Jigen walked off, slamming the door behind himself.  "Goemon, do a head count.  Melissa just left the house."

Arsene came down the stairs.  "Only she went, Uncle Jigen," she said quietly.  "She wanted to go discourage her grandparents from being stupid again."

"With her luck they'll either try to keep her and reprogram her or they'll try to sacrifice her," he said bitterly.  "If she's in your plane, have her turned around and come back."

"She's commercial until New York."

"Fine.  We'll be heading out after we call someone to stop her."  He looked at her.  "You okay?"  She shrugged, but she didn't answer.  "We've got to talk, kid. You're creepy when you're quiet."  He walked her back to the office.  "Lupin, call New York, she's flying commercial and she'll layover there."  He closed the door again and walked her outside to talk with her.  "What's up?"

"Xander said some things that upset me but I'm thinking about them.  Am I just a duffer like my grandfather was?"

"I don't think so," he admitted. "I think you're still living a fantasy though. Like you're the Barbie special collection thief edition."  She did smile at that, a small one.  "Sit, Ar."  He sat down, getting comfortable on the patio set.  "Xander was right about some things.  You're still not seeing the full reality.  I know my daughter's seen shit that'll make her sick for years.  She's faced the fact that she could die from one of the cops or from another crook.  I know she did because it scared her and she had nightmares for weeks about it."  She looked down at her hands.  "Have you?"

"No," she admitted, looking up at him.  "I don't want to die."

"Then you don't want to be in the life," he told her.  "If we're caught, we will probably be put to death in most countries.  It's been damn close before.  Your dad was actually executed twice, but he managed to save himself once and the other time it was a clone done by someone else."  He pulled out a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply.  "This isn't a field of fun and games.  It's not for duffers.  It's not for those who won't kill to protect themselves and their family and friends.  That's what drove Dawn and David out.  That's why Marcus doesn't do much, because the demon who possessed him liked the blood too much and it scares him.  You're from a great line of thieves, but everyone dies some day.  Whether you die in a bed, or you die from being hung or from a firing squad is up to you.  We don't want you to die this week however, that's one of the things he was trying to get through to you, kiddo. Not to cow you and make you this silent, depressed little girl, but to make you think and realize that you're not all that yet.  You've still got shit to learn."

"But daddy said even he does."

"True.  There's lots of stuff we can still learn, even your mother.  New technologies come out every week. None of us are hackers.  We employ a few when we need 'em, but we're not.  Xander still can't pick locks very well.  Neither do I."  He took a deep drag off his cigarette.  "It's a matter of decisions. Do you want to continue to be a thief, even though bad things can happen?"  She shrugged.  "Then you'd better decide before going back into the field.  Otherwise it'll distract you and you'll be in danger."

Ishi stuck his head out.  "We can't stop her in New York.  We can't get there in time."

"Can't someone over there stop her?"

"Uncle Lupin said he didn't trust anyone out there not to stop her permanently.  She booked a flight from here to Chicago, then she changes planes there. New York is just a Custom's and refueling stop."

"Damn.  Chicago's still not safe for her."

"I doubt she's going to be doing much in her thirty minute layover," Ishi offered.  "Then she's heading out of Salt Lake City with a car rental.  So we can either stop her there, or shortly after she gets the car."

"We can stop her in Salt Lake City," Lupin offered from behind him.  "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, daddy, just some heavy thoughts," she admitted. "Uncle Jigen was re-explaining some things to me without the need to put me into a submissive position and yank on my hair."

"Good.  Let's go.  We can leave Xander in Paris.  I've already called his phone. It's on voicemail since he's still in the club with Alan."  Jigen gave him a cold look.  "Not my doing.  Bastian told him where Xander was blowing off steam.  He said he needed closure."

"Maybe but I don't trust Alan that much."

"I trust Xander though," Lupin pointed out.

"Point."  He got up.  "You coming or stayin', kiddo?"

"Is it going to be dangerous?"

"Cult members who want to be like Xander," he said dryly.

"Never mind. I'm coming. Let me change and pack a bag."  She headed up to her room to do that. She came trotting down the stairs, smiling up at her father.  "Do I look okay for the Mormons?"

"You look fine to me and I doubt they'd want to conscript you," he offered, walking out behind her.  Before they got to the car he pulled her aside.  "Are you sure you want to do this?  It will be dangerous, Arsene."

"Daddy, he'd expect us to go after her and Melissa's doing this because she's got a wild hair up her ass.  I doubt she's planned it," she offered.  "I'll be fine.  I can focus on the job and not the mental problems."  He gave her a gentle hug.  "I'll miss you if you go, daddy."

"Honey, we've been assured we're all going together and it'll be long after we have grandchildren," he promised.  "Hell doesn't really want Xander too soon."  She relaxed and he grinned.  "You were more worried about me?"

"Daddy, if you can die and you're better than me, than I can definitely die."  She looked up at him.

"Yeah, but I'm mortal, empress.  We're all mortal.  Unless your mom's hiding another secret from us," he offered with a small grin.  "Even if I die, I'll be watching out for you and you know I'll be ranting somewhere about the stupidity that'll happen when Fred comes out as a mini-Lavelle."  He stroked her hair behind her ears.  "I don't want you in the field if you've got these doubts, daughter."

"I'll be fine, daddy.  I'm not dying this week.  I have to go after you.  That means Xander was right and I have to train harder."

"You could call him mom."

"Not until we settle some things between us."  She let him go.  "He didn't have to do it to me that way."

"Yeah, he did," Lupin admitted dryly.  "You wouldn't have listened any other way.  You weren't listening to me and I was saying the same things," he reminded her.  "He had to shock you out of the ego of the first job.  That's what good parents and trainers do, dear.  Even if he was mean, it was necessary because you were being a bitch."

"I'm sorry, daddy."  She put an arm through his, walking him to the car.  She'd still be talking to Xander before she uttered the word 'mother' again.

***

"What are you doing here?" a loud voice asked.

Melissa looked up at the speaker, smiling gently at Vecchio's sister.  "I'm on my way through to visit my other grandparents. They're trying to reach out to their son and I want to talk with them before he destroys them for their idiocy.  They started a cult of him."

Frannie Vecchio looked the young girl over.  "Then you are related to Xander?"  She nodded.  "Which one are you?"

"I'm Melissa.  I'm Savannah's twin.  I'm the one who settled the blood debt."  Frannie nodded at that.  "I'm really just passing through.  Your brother had dinner with mom earlier and your mother's getting settled in.  Didn't you go with her?"

"My life's here.  I couldn't stand to live in the countryside.  There's no movie theater, no clubs, no bars, nothing fun to do."

Melissa smiled at that.  "I said the same thing about living in outer England at Mom's house that he got with the title."

"Title?"

"Yeah, some woman offered the person who got her off her estate.  Mom got her off very well, she actually died during sex of an aneurism on her aorta.  So he's a Lord.  I'm technically a Lady since he's not married."  She shrugged.  "It's a beautiful house, but there's *nothing* close by but a small village and a pub."

Frannie nodded.  "Then you probably do know what it's like.  Do you know Ma's new number?"

"Mom hasn't given it to me yet," she admitted.  "I can check."

"Nah, that's fine, I'll get it later," she promised.  "So, a cult?"

"Yeah, a cult," she sighed.  "They started a cult about his defense stuff and how he was tortured.  So I'm going to see how big of whackos they are and to see if I can convince them to quit using mom's name before he gets really mad and tries to blow them up or something."  She shifted so she was facing the other woman.  "Where are you headed?"

"I was brought in here to see why you were here.  Someone decided that since Xander liked us so much you wouldn't hurt me."

"I try very hard not to hurt innocent bystanders.  That's rude."  Melissa smiled at her.  "Really, I'm just passing through.  I like Chicago. It's a nice city.  I like it a lot better than LA with it's vampires and demons and nastiness that keeps trying to come for the family.  Or the memories that Mom holds of that area."

"Why do you call him mom?"

"You remember hearing about Sylvia?"  Frannie nodded, she had heard about that.  "That was mom too.  It was an artifact of really odd powers."

"Oh."  She let that thought stir.  "So he really had you?"

"He really had two sets of twins and then a single.  The single right on the heels of a set of twins."

"Wow.  I'm impressed.  I didn't know that was possible."

"There's more odd stuff on this planet than anyone realizes.  Mom's usually plugged into that."

"Sorta like that fuzzy baby fox that showed up to cuddle Bix?"

"Yup, that was a kitsune, a Japanese fox spirit.  They're pretty nice.  They're helping my sister since she's so ill whenever she's here.  With them she's perfectly healthy and happy to dress up all the time. She's our ambassador more or less."  She shifted again.  "It's kinda neat sometimes, but sometimes it's very scary.  Mom usually takes care of the scary stuff for us though."

"Good."  She stood up as the flight was called. "Go ahead and board.  Stay on the plane."

"I'll call in advance next time," she promised, holding out a hand.  Frannie shook it with a smile. "It was nice meeting you.  Mom's always saying great things about Ray's family and Ray brags about you guys a lot too.  I wish he had family like you instead of the fruitcakes."

"I think that's why he likes us," Frannie agreed.

"Yeah, but then again sometimes Uncle Goemon acts like mom's dad too, which just really messes things up to think of him as my grandfather."  Frannie laughed at that, so she gathered everything, taking her laptop back from the cop who had been browsing on it.  "Sorry, it's not the special one for Mom's empire.  Just my standard one with my own empire on it."  She closed it and put it into her case, zipping it and grabbing her jacket so she could get on.  She handed over her tickets with a smile. "Hi again."

"Hello, young lady.  Traveling alone?"

"I'm sixteen."

"That's fine."  She got her onto the plane, smiling at the people who were next in line.  "Hello.  Just the one flight today?" she asked after checking their boarding passes."

"Yes, we're going back to our fellows."  They walked up the tunnel and found Melissa waiting around the bend.  "Shouldn't you be in your seat?"

"I probably should, but I do believe you're my escorts."

"You do not sound like you like us fruitcakes," he said bitterly.

"What can I say, I'm Xander's daughter."  That stopped them and they stared at her.  "I'm Melissa, one of his older set of twins.  I'm also a lot like Xander and Xander's not quite like you guys think.  So yeah, I'm here to straighten some things out so he doesn't have to.  His parents have him *way* out of character.  He's said they're whackos too by the way."

"I do not doubt.  Very well.  We will talk once we are in the air."

"That's fine."  She waved.  "Go ahead."  They walked ahead of her.  She flicked little bugs on them, shaking her head at the stewardess' worried look.  "It's fine.  I'm going to see my grandparents and they're part of a religious group I'm not part of," she sighed.  She found her seat and plopped down, putting her laptop in front of her so she could watch over it.  She hoped the cops hadn't gotten into anything of her mother's.  Some minor things had been on there.

***

Ray Kowalski opened his email and smiled at the information in it.  "Well," he said happily.  "That's a good thing."  He grinned at his boss, which made him raise an eyebrow and walk over to look at what was making him have such a wicked smile.  "Melissa was doing some financial work on her way to Utah."

"Can it help us catch him?

"Not a chance.  But it does list some people she was sending payments to."  They shared a smile and went over it again.  Nothing there was overtly useful but it was another link in the chain of Lavelle's empire.

"Who got this?"

"Frannie, Ray's sister, distracted her while Huey played with her laptop.  He got a complete image off the hard drive he thinks.  He'll have their tech person decode it and send it to us."

"Good.  Print that just in case we get a sudden virus or something.  It'll be useful."

"Yes, sir," Ray agreed.

"Printer's not hooked up yet," Dawn called from her desk.  "It's not working with the server.  Mark's on his way over to fix it."

"Then you copy it down," Zenigata instructed.  "Burn it to a CD as well."  Ray nodded, moving to do that, copying it first.  That would take longer and as long as he didn't touch anything it should be fine. Nothing could happen while he wasn't touching a single key.

***

In a small office deep within Interpol's headquarters, someone was watching Ray's email and smirking broadly.  "Yes, that is something we need," he said fondly.  "And then we'll show them who the *real* cops are, won't we?"  She chuckled and pressed the print button.  Her printer was working just fine.

***

Inside a very nice house in central London, Bastian looked over as his monitor beeped.  "What now?" he muttered.  He looked at the notice that one of the laptops had been imaged and groaned.  "Who in the fuck!" he said hotly, sitting down to fix it.  First he disabled that laptop.  Then he sent a message to Xander's phone.  Then he sent a nastier one to Melissa's phone.  When she didn't answer, he tried to call her but got her voicemail.  So instead he called on Lupin while he worked to negate the damage done.  "Where's the infant making rookie mistakes?" he demanded.  He growled.  "Why is she on a plane?"  He flopped backward in his chair, covering his eyes.  "Do me a favor, when you see her, spank the living shit out of her.  A cop just imaged her hard drive.  Now we're doing damage control.  Yeah, I'd say, it's one of Vecchio and Kowalski's former teammates.  Thank you, Jigen."  He hung up and moved everything.  Murami was not going to be happy with him so he sent out the 'we're doing it on purpose, it's necessary' disaster code to her.  She'd be dealing with Melissa's stuff anyway.  Hers was probably on that one as well.

***

Xander looked down at his phone, frowning at the message on it.  "Disaster code?" he muttered, going into a corner of the club to text Bastian back.  What he got in return was basically swearing at his daughter.  Now he understood.  He called him.  "Move it using the alpha plan.  The other three aren't fully set up yet."  He listened.  "Okay, I wasn't aware you had done that already.  Thank you.  Sure, however you want.  Where is she so I can have a good long scream at her?"  He frowned.  "Why is she heading for my parents?"  He listened.  "Fine.  Thanks.  No, I'll get her when I see her.  Love ya, Bastian."  He hung up, heading back to find Alan.  He got close to his ear so he wouldn't have to scream quite so loud over the music.  "Melissa fucked up.  Her laptop was breached.  I'll see you at breakfast if I don't have to fly off to beat her."  Alan nodded, grinning at him.  So Xander headed for their still untouched table and paid the waitress for anything Alan might still want before leaving.  He walked outside, looking up at the stars.  "Why did I have kids?"

"So your empire would continue on for generations," Vecchio said dryly, smirking at him.  "Having fun?"

"Yeah.  Alan's in there.  Your sister's sneaky but I didn't think the department was using her."

"What did Frannie do?"

"Melissa's on her way to chat with my parents.   Your sister distracted her while one of your former coworkers had a go at her laptop."  Vecchio looked impressed at that so Xander smirked. "It was mostly her stuff, anything they might have gotten is already dust in the wind, Ray.  We do have protections after all."  He strolled off, heading for his car.  He plugged in his hands-free set before starting it and heading off into the night.  He tried to call Lupin, but it was busy and he got his voice mail.  He tried to call Ishi, but his was apparently off.  He called Arsene's because she *always* had her phone.  "Put your father on.  Your second in command is a stupid bitch today.  No, Ar, she got her laptop looked at," he sighed.  It was handed over with a screech of her father's name and a toss at the other car.

"Lupin," he said patiently.  "Can we beat Melissa for this?  No, I'm having to do a quick move through Bastian to fix some things.  No, it's not as secure but I don't know what she was accessing and I have no idea how much info she had in her notes on what I do.  Yeah, she was making a crib sheet for herself of the empire.  Sure, you can hold her while Jigen and I beat the girl so hard she won't be sitting for months.  Thanks.  Sure, tell Jigen."  He smirked as he ran a yellow light, speeding off to a hidden area that not even Melissa knew he had.  "Sure.  We're working on it.  Stop her before she gets to my parents.  Something bad will happen.  They'll probably attack her, she'll fight back, there are Feds watching them no doubt and so she'll end up in prison for a bit.  Which means the kids would have to break her out and then they'd be in a standoff position.  Sure!  No, not a vision, a certainty.  You know how she can be."  He hung up and headed for the underground parking garage he had hired, getting out and heading into his hidden spot.  He sat down behind the computers, checking on what Bastian was doing and moving everything that Bastian didn't have access to, including the kids' funds.

***

Murami answered her phone, putting it on speaker as she typed.  "What's going on, Xander?"

"Melissa had her laptop snatched at the airport by a cop.  They imaged the drive according to Bastian.  We're moving everything into the concrete vault at the bank."

Murami paused, staring at the phone.  "Then you can't use anything."

"I can use it, I just need the special funds authorized, which only you can do.  By the way, I'm locking Melissa out of the family funds."

"I'm locking her out of everything but her personal accounts," she said bitterly.  "How dumb was she?"

"She wasn't paying attention. She was chatting with Vecchio's sister and one of his coworkers started to page through her laptop.  They've already sent stuff to Ray.  I'm going to have to deal with that next."

"Why was she in Chicago?"

"She's headed to kick my parents in the ass for starting a cult of Me."

"A cult of you," she said flatly.  "Why?"

"Because they're like that," he said bitterly.  "It's not their first cult after all.  Can you please authorize the special cards as well?"

"Of course.  I've got yours in the safe.  Where are you?"

"In town blowing off steam due to my parents."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too, hopefully they can stop her before she ends up tangling with the Feds who're probably watching them.  He hit a few buttons.  "Bastian, I'm doing the concrete vault maneuver.  You ready on your end?"

"Just give me ten more, Xander.  Two accounts aren't wanting to move."

"I can help with that," Murami offered.   She got to work accessing as many of those accounts as she could.  "Are we moving Lupin's and everyone's as well?"

"We probably should but I haven't done more than tell him to stop her and to save some beating for me," Xander told her.

"Let me call him.  I'm putting you on hold," she offered, hitting the switch to do that.  She called Lupin's cellphone, getting Goemon.  "Goemon, put Lupin on.  We're having to do an emergency money move."  She listened to the quiet conversation then Lupin grunted into the phone.  "Do you want to move yours with Xander?  It'll be perfectly safe there."  She listened to him.  "That's fine.  Don't use your cards again until you get the new ones.  Have you used them tonight?"  She nodded, writing down the charges and how much.  "Okay.  Swing by my office on the way to the airport.  No, he's in town.  Thanks."  She hung up and went back to Xander.  "We're moving Lupin's as well."

"On it," Xander agreed, then hit a few keys, paused, then hit a few more.  Two clicks and then he chuckled.  "Bastian?"

"Ready, boss."

"Murami?"

"Nearly.  I'm moving the kids' as well."  She accessed those and then smiled.  "There, all but two shopping accounts.  Yours and Lupin the Fourth's."

"Okay, and here we go with the concrete vault maneuver."  Another click, a few keystrokes, and an 'ah-ha' later, and then Xander chuckled.  "Safe.  I'll stop by to get the new cards tonight.  Bastian, do you need me to pull damage control?"

"No, Xander. We're good.  I'll send out an all-points to everyone.  Homer has your backup card."

"Good point.  I'll call him personally, that way he can scowl at Melissa for this."  He called the other guy. "Homer?  Man, don't use the card.  We just pulled a concrete vault.  Really?  That's fine, did it go through?"  He smirked.  "Use the black one I gave you just in case.  Thanks, man.  Nope, Melissa's fault.  Totally her fault.  Love you, big guy.  Let me know if something happens.  Yuppers."  He hung up.  "Okay, we're copacetic on most fronts. Any issues, Murami or Bastian?"

"I'm not seeing any but Marcus.  I'll call him," Bastian offered.

"Cool.  Murami?"

"No, I'm not seeing any either, Xander.  What are you going to do about that information?"

"Oh, we'll just play a bit," he said, obviously smirking by the tone of his voice.  "Don't you worry, dear, and do a bug check of your office.  You haven't had one in a while."

"True.  Thank you, Xander."  She hung up and sat back, looking at the funds as they all funneled into the locked accounts.  The only people who could get into those were the ones with the names on it.  Everything else was solid and needed special cards to get into.  She grabbed the scanner to find listening devices and started over her office.  Xander wasn't often wrong about these things.

***

Deep within Interpol, that same woman frowned.  "Concrete vault.  What's that?"  She looked it up in her copy of Dawn's handbook of slang, the one she had stolen a few months back.  "An impenetrable account that is hidden from the world in the inner workings of a very safe bank.  Usually used to protect monetary accounts of major corporations.  Where would Lavelle have gotten access to one of those?" she muttered, looking at the references she had on him.  "It must have went through one of his minions in one of the Swiss banks.  We'll just have to check the money transfer records tomorrow, won't we?" she asked, petting her computer.  "You're so good.  Yes you are.  We deserve a treat for being so good.  I'll do that and be back in the morning, precious one.  You rest tonight."  She turned off the machine and snuck out of the old office.  No one knew it was there, but they knew she probably wasn't supposed to be down there either.

***

Bastian looked at the computer in front of him, considering what to do.  He *could* erase Kowalski's computer and all of theirs.  He *could* take down all of Interpol's computers if he really wanted to.  Or at least anything that was hooked into their network.  He *could* let them suffer when they found those links were no longer any good, but they might want to use them again.  Or he *could* let Xander make that decision for him, but that would drive him insane because he liked a few of them.  He considered it, staring over at his present girlfriend.  "Should I be really mean or just a bit mean?"

"Why?"

"Because someone broke into Melissa's laptop while she was being distracted."

"Oh."  She pouted.  "Then why be mean?  Didn't you fix all that already?"

"Yeah, but we might want to use those things again some day," he said, staring at the computer again.  His hand hovered over the keys, his fingers wiggling as he considered it.  "Fuck it."  He hit a sequence of keys, something that let loose something their computer hacker called Hellhound.  He did feel better now.  He got up and walked over to where his lady was seated, bending down to kiss her.  "Thank you, love, for being so patient.  What were we going to do tonight?"

"You were going to take me to dinner," she said with a small grin for him.  "Otherwise I might starve."

"Sure," he agreed with a smile, helping her to her feet and doing up his shirt the rest of the way so he could walk out with her.  He closed and locked the door, ignoring the message on his computer about levels of destruction and the countdown to total destruction if no option was chosen.

The computer beeped twice, then from the speakers came an evil, wicked chuckle.  Anyone hearing it would be scared if they had any idea what was coming their way.

***

Kowalski finished checking his email, clicking on the button to delete it.  His mouse was stolen and his screen went dark as howling started through his speakers.  "What the fuck!"

Al, their computer artificial intelligence, let out a howl of fear and disappeared from the main screens again.  He didn't like lightening but he had never acted like this before.  The cord connecting his cube to the computers was withdrawn and the cube rocked as it retreated into the housing.

Zenigata looked at his wife.  "Demonic?" he asked quietly.

"Sounds like it," she said, frowning at him.  "But it's inside his computer."  She looked at her computer and saw a tongue come up to slobber on the inside of the screen.  "Fuck!" she shouted, backing away.  "Everyone out!"  They all ran.  "How in the hell did we get a a demonic computer virus!"  She pulled out some of her things she worked with when she was practicing her magic, but by then the face had shown up and was staring at her.  "What are you?" she asked, backing away.  "What do you want?"  The doggish face howled again, making her shiver.  She had never faced down something like that.  She didn't have a clue what that was.  "Marcus!  Help!" she screamed, hoping he had his spell active.

He appeared beside her, looking where she pointed.  "What are you?" he asked.  The face turned to look at him and he shivered in cold dread.  "That's a hellhound.  Out, Dawn.  Now!" he ordered calmly.   He backed away, forcing her to go with him.  "I don't know how it got into the computers, but pray it stays in there.  They dine on souls. I can only imagine what a cyber-hound would do."  They made it outside and locked the door, Marcus leaning against it to look at the others.  "It's a hellhound."  Zenigata's mouth came open.  "I don't know.  I have no idea.  I'm going to talk to someone now.  Do not go in there.  Do not turn on any home systems.  Do not log back into that system or Interpol."  He disappeared, going to find Xander.  He landed behind him.  "Why does Dawn have a hellhound in her system?"

"Dawn has a hellhound?" he asked, looking confused.  "Who authorized that?"

"Xander?" Marcus asked patiently.  "How?"

"Um, computerized.  Virus.  Shit.  Bastian," he groaned, calling him.  "Did you authorize Hellhound to go?  No, it scared Marcus."

"It looks *exactly* like a real one!  Of course it did!"

"That's because I talked one into becoming a computer virus," Xander assured him.  "It's a real one, but now it eats bits and bytes."  He listened to Bastian's reasoning.  "Okay.  That's fine with me," he promised.  "What level did you set it at?"  He winced.  "That means total destruction of the system you aimed it at, dear.  Did you aim it just at Dawnie?"  He winced again.  "Okay.  I trust you, I like you, I love you like my brother.  Good work, we'll work around it in Interpol."  He blew a kiss.  "Happy dinner out with your woman.  Did you know she's a cop?"  He grinned.  "I was hoping you did, man.  Sure.  Thanks, Bastian, for looking out for us."  He hung up and looked up at Marcus.  "It'll be fine.  It's limited to Interpol and their systems.  Dawnie's system is going to be eaten.  So is Interpol's."

"Xander, that's heinous," Marcus complained.

"Marcus, Melissa had her notebook gone through," he said dryly.  "By the way, we did a concrete vault maneuver earlier."  He shuddered.  "So be careful, all right? Just don't plug yourself into one."

"Fine, Xander.  Thank you for the warning. Any other demonic things I should know about?"

"Yeah, I've got a cyber-imp who goes out to do research for me," he said with a smirk.  "Our techno-wizard is *very* good and handy.  Remind me to give him a raise soon, okay?"

"Fine," he agreed.  "I'll warn Lupin not to plug into Interpol."  He grabbed his phone, dialing as he teleported back to Dawn's side.  "A Hellhound is loose in Interpol's system," he said quietly.  "It's eating information.  No, I cannot," he offered.  "It got Dawn's system too.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at the waiting cops.  "There's nothing we can do. Usually we could fight off a real one but this one has digitized itself and is happily munching any and all information."

"Pictures," Ray moaned.

"No, it won't eat graphic files," he admitted.  "It's not programmed to like them as far as I know.  Did you back them up?"

"All but the last few months worth," he admitted tiredly.

Marcus patted him on the arm.  "They may still be there.  We'll have to see, Ray."  He nodded, looking not much happier.  "Now, do not log into Interpol until someone has cleared it out.  No matter what you're using, not even your phones if you can do that.  Someone call Vecchio to tell him."  He disappeared, heading back to his room to groan in peace.  Xander had done the unthinkable, putting demons on the internet.  He called Ethan to warn him so that a real-world backlash of this act wouldn't take them by surprise.  "Ethan, Xander has a cyber-hellhound.  Were you aware of this?" he asked calmly.  He listened to Ethan tell him what it was and how it had been done.  "What about people like Murami, who have his files?"  He shivered.  "Fine, I'll call her next, just in case.  Thank you."  He hung up and called Murami.  "Dear, it's Marcus.  If your computer starts to howl from the speakers or goes dark, turn it off immediately and unplug it from the internet.  No, Xander's protective hellhound is out and about inside Interpol and I'm not sure it won't go after others who have files with him in it."  He frowned.  "What do you mean yours is doggy proof?  Did he call the thing by going 'here, doggy doggy' until it showed up and told him he'd be a bad dog if he came near you?"  She laughed and told him how it was done.  "Thank you, love.  No, I'm fine, just a bit disquieted at the moment.  You have a pleasant evening."  He hung up and went to lie down.  His head now hurt, a lot.

***

Lupin walked into Murami's office, accepting the envelope with a smile. "Everything okay?"

"Sure.  I'm not being beleaguered by the hellhound that Interpol now has. Xander made sure it wasn't supposed to come for me."

"He did what?" Goemon asked from the doorway.

"There's a hellhound inside Interpol's computers, a digitized one.  Xander had it as a doomsday device but we're not sure if he let it go or not.  Hackers could have gotten into his system."

"Have you checked for bugs recently?" Lupin asked.

"Yes, and I tossed all seven of them out," she said dryly.  "They all went out the window, Lupin, don't worry so much."

"Thanks."  He gave her a hug.  "We're heading to Utah at top speed."

"The plane's waiting on you.  Hers was grounded in Minneapolis due to weather.  There was a tornado on the plains."

He grinned.  "Even better.  Send her a 'stay put' message if you can get through to her.  Love you, dear."  He rushed out, Goemon nodding then following.  He waited until his friend was back inside before taking off again.  "The plane's waiting on us.  She's grounded due to weather for a bit in Minnesota.  There's a hellhound inside Interpol's systems," he reported.

"Why?" Jigen asked quietly, drawing it out a bit.

"Xander's doomsday device."

"So that's what Marcus was talking about," Ishi noted, looking at them.  "It'll be fine.  It won't piss on our stuff or on Auntie Murami.  It's housetrained."

Jigen looked back at him.  "Like a real one?  Those things that eat souls?"  Ishi nodded.  "How long has he had one of those?"

"A few years, a bit after he got the cyber-imp to go out and research for him.  They agreed," he said with a small shrug.  "I asked because I didn't think it was fully ethical."

At the next red light, Lupin turned to look at him.  "Anything else like that we should know about?"

"He said he found a succubus already on there.  That's what gave him the idea.  Apparently she likes to come over and play with the puppy every once in a while."  He shrugged again.  "Green light going to yellow."

Lupin turned back around and sped through the yellow light.  This was something else he didn't know about Xander.  "Did he do the work on his own?"

"No, his empire has this techno-wizard hacker in its employ," he offered.  "Mom said he called to warn the guy about the succubus to see if they should ward the system somehow.  The guy got really excited, asked Xander if he could ask an imp if it would consent to doing the same thing.  One of his did consent so the guy did something to turn it into a program that was still an imp.  Mom uses him for research.  Mom's got good taste in employees."

"Son, did you use these demons?"

"I asked first," he admitted, looking at his father.  "I used the imp to help with a research paper.  I was having trouble finding where a source was so it found an online version of the book I needed.  Mom assured me there was no taint from using it.  I even had Marcus pass on a theoretical question to a priest who works with the Watchers to make sure of it. I'm guessing he thought it was a hypothetical or just a mundane evil in some ways.  He still said it wouldn't be considered consorting and that I wasn't going to be tainted.  The vampires last year were probably worse for me, dad."  He opened his book again.

"Vampires?" Jigen asked.

"Didn't Melissa tell you about that?" he asked, looking at his head-shaking uncle.  "Huh.  She was supposed to.  One came up to us in the club we liked in Venice and tried to compel us to go with him.  Arsene nearly went but Melissa and I got him off her and out of harm's way while Lotus took care of him in a debate of wills.  He's very sorry he went against sister."   He went back to his reading.

His father snatched the book from his hand and put it onto the seat with a slap.  "What did she do?"

"What a good guardian witch was supposed to, father, she drove him off after making him cry.  Not many things on this plane are as stubborn as my sister when she wants to be."

"She did not kill it?" Goemon demanded.  He shook his head.  "Why not, son?"

"Because he was really old and it would have made his minions, who were all around us, attack.  We didn't have any stakes with us and Melissa didn't have a wooden bullet either."  He looked his father in the eyes.  "Would you rather we had taken on an overwhelming force with only two swords among us and many innocents in the way?"

"No, son, I wish you did not have to know about such things," he said grimly.

"It's a good thing we did, or else we'd have to do this stuff at night all the time," he said dryly.  "Our first instinct would have been to turn or take out the family, starting with Mom, who we can't beat."

"He wouldn't fight you," Jigen reminded him.

"Yeah, so we'd have turned him since he knows so much and he would have made sure we had a comfortable hiding spot and things, and then we would have turned the rest of you because he would have been miserable."  He grinned.  "The kids we'd have kept until they were older and then turned."  Goemon shuddered so Ishi patted him on the arm.  "That's why mom taught us, daddy.  So we wouldn't have to turn you into a nasty vampire samurai.  We have a very realistic view of that part of the world, father.  It saves lives and we've even gotten to help a slayer who was in training on the assassin's track at the academy."  Jigen moaned.  "Her mother decided it was more practical for her. Lotus worked with her a few times on the different types of demons and things.  We guarded her when she went for a few practice hunts as well."

"Did no one stop you to ask why?" Jigen demanded.

"The range teacher told us he didn't want to know why we were unloading silver and wooden bullets one morning," he admitted.  "Nothing further.  We left him some in case something happens and he needed them," he offered at the renewed groaning from the adults.

Lupin clicked on the radio, pulling up the microphone to his mouth.  "Daughter, do not play with slayers or vampires ever again," he said calmly.  He let the button go.

"But, dad, we did okay," Arsene complained back.

"Daughter, do not play with slayers or vampires ever again," he repeated more firmly.

Jigen took the microphone from him, cutting off her whine.  "We don't care.  You only deal with them to save your asses.  You do not play with demons just to be playing with demons.  That includes the ones on the internet."  He put the microphone back.

"Can we bring back the arranged marriage punishment for that?" Lupin asked.  Jigen shook his head.  "Why not?" he asked tiredly.

"Because Lotus has to now," Ishi reminded him.

"You don't," Jigen and Goemon said in unison.

"Fine.  Next time we'll let your daughter be taken and eaten.  Arsene would make one kick ass vampire."

"That is the only acceptable reason to fight them, son," Goemon said patiently.  "To save yourself and the others.  You are not a slayer, a watcher, Marcus, or Xander.  Therefore you may not fight the dark that way, son."

"Yes, father."

"Thank you, son.  Now, tonight I will expect you to meditate on why the rest of us will be having nightmares.  You may start on the plane."  They pulled into the airport and he got out first, heading for the plane to talk to his daughter, who was on there already.  "Daughter," he said firmly.  "You are not a slayer, a watcher, Marcus, or Xander.  I will not allow you to fight demons that way.  I do not care what the other witches have told you, you are not Xander."

"Yes, daddy," she said, grinning up at him.  "We don't have to do it often."

"You do not have to do it at all except to save yourselves," he ordered.  "You will also be meditating on why we will be having nightmares tonight about your nocturnal activities."

"We haven't gone out at night in months," Arsene told him.

"Hush."  He glared at her.  "Do not be taken by a vampire.  Your father would whine for years."

"I'd turn him," she defended.

"Hush!" he said more sharply.  "Do not force us to hunt you once you become an ungodly creature of the night!  It would destroy both your parents and is not allowed!  Or else we will have to do something horrible and marry you off to someone, like a priest."

"Yes, Uncle Goemon," she said patiently, staring up at him, blinking a few times.  "Do you feel better now that you've ranted a bit?"

"Arsene," Lupin warned before those two could start a real fight.  "I agree, no more dealing with the undead or anything else that could be considered demonic.  Unless you are killing them to get yourselves free, you are not to go near them. Not even your mother's demonic helpers online."  He sat down and buckled himself into his seat.  "Let's get this show on the road, people.  Before we have to rescue Melissa from some Feds."

Jigen got everything loaded and shut the door behind him, locking it and checking it a few times.  "We're secure," he called.  No answer from the cockpit so he walked up there to start the engines for them.  "Could use a copilot."

"I'm coming," Ishi agreed, going up there to help him.   "Does this mean we can't use them if Mom figures out the flying broom trick from Harry Potter?"

"No, you can't," he said firmly.  "No magic, nothing like magic, not even a stage magic show, kid.  I don't care what it is, there's no magic at the house.  Even your sister's."

"Fine," he said, pouting a bit.  "I just wanted to fly.  I like flying."

"Good, start the starboard engines and let's get going then.  This is as close as you're getting."

"Yes, Uncle Jigen."  He sat down to do his part, calling the tower as well.  Their pilot came jogging out, being let in by Lupin the Fourth.  She dislodged Jigen and got them started, heading down the runway to the US. "He's mean," he shared as they took off.  "He won't let us have flying brooms if someone figures it out."  She gave him a sideways look.  "I'd probably play quidditch very well," he defended.  "I'm usually good at sports."

"If you say so, kid. Which one are you again?"

"Ishi."

"Oh, so you're Xander's son?"

"Goemon's.  He's just my favorite teacher," he admitted with a grin.  She patted him on the shoulder.  "What's that for?"

"For the warping you've probably went through, kid.  Xander's a bit odd to the rest of us."

"Yeah, but we love him anyway."

"Good.  He could probably use some gentle persuasion now and then.  It'll make him more normal."  She made the first course correction and they climbed a bit higher on orders from the tower.

***

Melissa looked up as her escorts came off the plane, giving them a small smile.  "I see you made it well enough.  I heard you getting sick while we were landing.  Am I driving you back?"

"If you wouldn't mind," the man agreed.  Melissa shrugged and repacked her jacket into her bag, heading for the rental counter.  "You are quite wealthy?"

Melissa smirked at him.  "I'm a thief, sir.  I've been a thief for a very long time."  She got into line, smiling at the woman once she got up there, taking out her license and card.  "Jigen."

"Yes, ma'am," she said, typing into the computer.  "Can you spell that please?"

"J I G E N.  Melissa."

"Ah, there you are.  There's a second one in here and a note attached to your file."  She read it and looked at her.  "Ma'am, according to this note, your accounts were frozen due to your father?"  She printed it and handed it over.

Melissa read it and snorted.  "Whatever.  I've got cash and another card they don't know about," she offered, digging that one out and handing it over.  "There, try that one."  The woman ran it and smiled.  "It went?"  She nodded, printing out the forms for her to sign.  "Insurance, always a yes," she noted, checking that box.  "Just in case."

"It is always a good idea, yes," she agreed, smiling at the people with her.  "Family?"

"Kinda.  I'm going to see my grandparents and they live with them so I'm giving them a ride."  She handed back the forms, taking the keys.  "Thanks, dear."  She winked and strolled off, leaving a blushing woman behind her.  "It's a good thing I wanted a sedan."

"You drive?"

"Yeah, I have been since I was ten," she admitted, smiling at the male of the pair.  "Don't worry, I'm very good and very careful.  I was taught in good and bad traffic, plus on rural roads.  I drive with my group at least half the time since it's my car."

"What do you drive at home?" the woman asked.

"An older edition Fiat me and mom put together.  We put on neat stuff, like a missile system."  The guard at the baggage check had heard her, he was giving her an odd look. "It's a hobby of mine and my mom's."

"It's not here, right?" he asked.

"No, it's back in France."

"Oh, good," he said happily.   "Want help out to your rental, ma'am?"

"No thanks.  I've got it. I don't pack much."  She grabbed her two bags and headed out with them, going to the rental's parking lot.  She held up her keys for the attendant.  "Sedan?"

"This way, ma'am," he said respectfully, leading her to the car.  "Here you go."  He took the keys, popping the trunk for her.  "Have a nice stay in Utah, Misses Jigen."

"Thank you, dear."  She smiled and patted him on the face.  "I'm visiting some relatives I've never seen before.  I should be back in a few days."  She winked at him, and he swallowed.  "Maybe then."  She got in to drive, closing the door and buckling up to prove she was careful to those in the car with her.  "Right or left from the airport?"

"Left," the man said.  "I can drive us."

"Fat chance.  I've had a bit too many kidnaping issues recently.  Like mom says, there's some months that are marked 'kidnap Xander' months and some that are 'kidnap Melissa' ones.  I just recently got rescued from China from a group who wanted to make a hellmouth machine.  Mom was not happy."

"You call him mother?"

"He gave birth to me, so yeah," she admitted.  "See, there's a few things you don't know since he left Sunnydale.  Like the fact that his torture was at the hands of demons and he was sent there by some friends.  Including Willow."  They hissed, shaking their heads.  They had heard of her in their teachings.  "There's also the fact that mom came into contact with a very powerful artifact of Janus that allows him to change genders.  So yeah, he had a few of us."

"We need to call the elder, tell them you are coming," the female said quietly.  She tossed back her cellphone.  "What is this?"

"A satellite phone.  Useable anywhere.  I find them very nice when I'm traveling and alone."

"You use such technologies?"

"Yeah, mom got it for me," she said dryly.  "It helps when you're keeping in contact with your team."

"Do you hunt demons too?" the woman asked.

Melissa snickered.  "No, honey, and neither does mom most of the time.  Mom's a thief now."

"A thief?" the man asked.  Melissa nodded, taking the corner gently.  "Why?"

"Because after he got back from Hell and the tortures he endured, he went to Daddy Jigen, who took him in and taught him.  Lavelle is very good at what he does."

"Lavelle?" the woman gasped.

"That's mom."  She pointed at the camp on their right.  "There?"  The man nodded.  "Cool.  Shorter trip than I thought."  She pulled them into the gates and looked at the guard stopping them.  "I thought I'd bring them back when I came to see my grandparents.  My name is Melissa Jigen-Harris, daughter of Xander Harris."  The guard backed away.  "Daddy was most upset with this and he sent me to talk to them."

"Can you prove you are who you say you are?" the guard asked.

Melissa pulled out her real birth certificate and held it up.  Then she opened her wallet and held up the last family photo.  "Good enough?"

"Yes, ma'am.  I will lead you to your grandparents.  Please park in the blue spot."

"That's fine."  She pulled through the second gate and got out, opening the back door for the couple.  She took back her phone.  "There you go, safe and sound," she said with a smile.  She checked the seat before putting up the sun shades and heading after the guard.   She walked into the tent, standing at parade rest while he whispered in the old man's ear.  He stared at her so she smirked at him.  "Yeah, it's me.  I'm one of his eldest set of twins."

"My son has children?"

"Your son is a lot different than you perceive," Melissa told him.  "He's nearly laughing his ass off right now."  She walked in and put down the photo of the family in 'working attire'.  The woman gasped.  "That's right, your son goes by the name of Lavelle now."  She pulled out a chair and sat in it the wrong way, resting her arms and chin on the back.  "So, we should talk.  You're upsetting mom."

"You call him mother?" the woman asked.  Melissa pulled out another picture, this time of Sylvia, and put it beside the other one.  She looked at the woman, noticing some of the same features.  "We had no daughter."

"That choker is consecrated to Janus.  It changes gender."

"Bull," the older man said.

Melissa looked at him, staring him down.  He shivered.  "I'm told often that I look just like my mother," she said calmly.  "You can easily tell him in me.  We can even do a genetics test if you want."  They shook their heads.  "Then you should know many things.  This is upsetting mother to no end.  He started out giggling then got very upset with you two.  He ordered me not to come but as you can see I'm very stubborn.  I'm one of the older set of twins. The other is a cop, against mother's wishes.  Mother is a thief and an assassin.  He only takes on demons when forced to.  He works with slayers when he has to, and he works with my little sister Alex, who is going to be doing the same thing he used to be some day, after her first child is born."  They moaned.  "The next set is a thief and the thieve's ambassador to the kitsune.  Mom still has friends among some of the nature demons and the like.  He also uses the demonic library for research. He's running a plastic wizardry office in LA."  She shifted some.

"I'm here to clear up some misconceptions and to ask you politely to quit.  You're upsetting mother and he doesn't need this.  He's just recently remarried his husbands.  He's also recently put aside the chokers for the next generation.  This fighting and stuff you've got here is nice and all, but I doubt you could stand against a vampire.  I have.  I will again some day.  I've faced down demons that were much bigger and stronger than I am.  I'm also much smarter than quite a few people who hunt demons.  One of our nannies was almost a watcher."  They shivered.  "Now, we need to talk about this group of happy people.  Mother does not want it to keep going.  You're not only embarrassing him, but you're endangering all our lives and the lives of the people he works with in other, more legal, communities.  Even the cops are laughing at him for this."  They both frowned.  "I personally don't want it to ruin my reputation either, but I'm more known to be my father's daughter.  I got my daddy's gun arm and mom's brains."  They nodded, smirking at her.  "Which is a lot more than either of you gave him credit for," she said dryly.  "By the way, he did tell me what growing up was like. Feel lucky I'm not proving who I am at the end of a muzzle."

"What we did made him stronger."

"Really?" she asked dryly.  "Stronger how?  Stronger than most normal people because he didn't believe anyone could love him?  Stronger than most people because he nearly ran from love when it was offered because he didn't understand the concept.  Stronger than most people because he didn't understand the difference between criticism and people telling him he was doing good?  Uncle Goemon had to work for months for Xander to believe that he was doing well in his martial arts studies.  Mom still hates to do anything in front of others because he hates having people watch him while he's learning anything.  Something about that smacks of lack of praise."

"How would you know anything about raising a child?"

"Easy, I helped raise the younger set," she said blandly.  "Mom's the best parent in the world.  He's bent over backwards for us, even the ones who wanted to be cops. It doesn't negate the fact that you nearly ruined him to ever feeling loved and wanted or appreciated. Mom tried to run quite a few times because he couldn't understand what a normal relationship was like and how sometimes couples have to fight to settle things better."  Her grandmother gasped. "So yeah, you may have strengthened him, but what you really did was weaken him into someone who never complained about his injuries.  He got about two hands-width of his back dished out by a hunter while protecting another person he had saved from Hell when he brought me and Ishi down there to protect us in China.  He never complained about it because he didn't think that's what was supposed to happen.  Even after so long he still doesn't believe that his men will stick up for him and help him through those things.  I've got to lay that at your doorstep, people.  You nearly ruined him.  He could have given up, easily.  Unfortunately the demon kept bringing him back."

They shuddered and clutched hands.  "Now, as I said earlier, you've got not a clue who your son is.  Not who he was when he was younger, not who he is now," she said with a light sneer.  "You have no idea what you did to him and how much you harmed him while trying to make him stronger.  You have no idea how much harm you're doing to him now by doing this shit to him this way.  The fact that some cops are laughing at him says something to me.  Especially since the ones laughing are actually friends of his.   There's a reason Lavelle will never be caught, that's because of who he had to become in defense due to your treatment and trying to make him stronger.  Even though I probably screwed things up so badly earlier by letting something of mine fall into the wrong hands, he'll still love me.  He won't do more than yell for a few minutes.  Unlike what you used to do to him."  She stood up.  "I've seen the scars that predated his time in hell.  I can probably tell you what caused each one.  He won't confirm it though, he wanted to keep that stuff from us.  We're damn lucky mom's gotten over what you did to him to become a super parent."  She stared at them.  "With that said, your son wants you to stop using his name. Use someone else's or dissolve.  He doesn't much care, but if you don't he'll have no choice but to file a cease and desist order in court.  Since he's got lawyers out the ass who'll do it for him, I'm not worried about you being eaten alive."

"You can't stop us."

"You're using your son's name in vain, people.  He wants you to stop.  He's sick and tired of it and as far as I'm concerned, you're about the same as demons.  I have no qualms dealing with you for him.  He might, but I'll only be grounded."  The old man pulled a knife and she pulled her weapon, stunning them both silent and open-mouthed.  "Yeah, I'm like mom there too.  Mom is a marksman."

"Put it down," a guard ordered.

"Bite me," she said, shooting him in the thigh.  She looked at her grandparents.  "As far as I'm concerned, you're annoyances on the flea of the world.  Your son said stop it.  He meant it.  I mean it.  Your choice.  You can turn into a suicide cult if you want.  I'm sure you'll be in hell long after he is.  But hey, after his torture, he earned his own section."  She cocked the gun again when the man twitched.  "Do it," she offered with the smirk.  "There's no Jigen you're going to get past with that thing.  As someone in a movie said, that's not a knife."  She pulled the one off her back and held it up.  "That's a knife, blessed even."  They got up and backed away from her.  "What's it going to be people?"

"You're not our granddaughter.  You're a demon."

"No, I'm not.  You see, I made my choices.  I know what the life is like and how I've got to be.  You're annoying pricks who're hiding from reality by doing this and allowing others to do the same.  You want to do something useful for the world, help those who have suffered and are still suffering, don't make them suffer more by telling them it's nothing compared to a night in hell.   That's cruel and hell is different for everybody."

Jigen walked in.  "Put it down, Melissa," he ordered quietly.

"They don't deserve to live, dad."

"Yay.  Your mother's going to kick your ass good this time, especially over you making him put an emergency plan into action."  She groaned.  "Now, put it away."  She sighed and put it up.  "Thank you."

"Who are you?"

"One of your son-in-law's.  The other's out by the car."   He looked at them.  "Xander must get his good looks from another family member."  He glared at his daughter.  "Outside, now, young lady."

"But, dad!"

"Now!" he snapped.

"Yes, dad."  She glared at them.  "Remember me, I'll be back if you don't stop besmirching mom's name.  If you don't believe me, ask someone in Zenigata's unit in Interpol."  She walked out, grimacing at her uncles. "I had it!"

"Shut up, get in the car, and do not say another word until we are out of this country, young lady," Lupin warned.   She opened her mouth.  "I don't want to hear it."

"Yes, sir," she muttered, getting into the back of the car he was leaning against.  "What about mine?"

"We've got your shit.  The car can be taken back by someone else," he said bitterly.  "Your mother's going to crap bricks!"

"Mom would understand why I had to do this!  He did when I went to Chicago."

"Shut up," Ishi warned from beside her.   "Change places with me.  Dad's mad since he hadn't heard about the vampire in the clubs.  Expect to be swatted."

"I'm doing what I should!" she complained.

"Hush!" Goemon ordered as he opened the door.  "Son, change with her."

"Yes, father."  He changed places with her, giving her a sideways look once he was settled again. "Mom's hellhound was released onto the internet."

"Wonderful.  I'm sorry the cop got my laptop.  It was a rookie mistake," she agreed.  "I'll be apologizing for weeks."

"And then some," Lupin agreed as he got in.  He grabbed the keys and tossed them at Goemon.  "I'll be right back," he noted, heading in to talk to his adoring in-laws.  He had wanted to have a few choice words with them for a few years now.  No one should be able to treat Xander the way they had.

Goemon settled himself in his seat, closing and locking his door.  "We shall wait."

"Can you at least turn on the air conditioner, father?" Ishi asked.

"No, son.  You must learn to withstand heat."

"Father, I refuse to live in the desert," he said dryly.  "I hate sand as much as either cop does.  Please turn on the air conditioner before I'm forced to do something odd, like take the keys and do it myself."

"Son," Goemon said patiently.  "Behave.  You can live with it for a few more minutes."

Ishi looked at his father for a moment, locking eyes with him.  "Father, do you really believe those two have so very little to say to Mother's parents?" he asked calmly.  "Unless they're already dead, it's not going to be under an hour."

"I hadn't thought of that," he admitted.  "Don't run it all the time," he ordered, handing over the keys.  "Keep her here."  He got out and went inside to have a few words of his own.  Xander was still like his own child some days, especially when he was being stubborn.  It was time those parents learned what real parents were like.  Even if he had to enlighten them right before they died.  He found Jigen as near to yelling as he ever got and cleared his throat.  "Perhaps they should hear about how long it took us to get Xander to accept anyone watching him work out because he was worried about how we would see his trials."

"We've already went over that," Lupin said grimly.  "They still think they did a wonderful job."

"Hmm."  Goemon looked at them.  "Xander, would you like to say something to your parents before they die?  Your daughter nearly killed them," he called softly, knowing if Xander had that spell turned on he didn't need to shout.

Xander appeared ten minutes later, dressed in an impeccably tailored suit.  His silver hair was loose over his shoulders.  His sword was in his hand.  He bowed to Goemon.  "Where's my daughter?"

"In the car with my son."

"Good.  We can strap her to the roof on the way back to the airport."  He glared at the couple at the table, making them gasp.  "Get over it," he sneered.  "There's been many times in the past when I wanted to change my name due to you and your interference."

"But, son," his father offered gently, sounding like he was pleading.

"You lost that right a very long time ago, old man.  Husbands, we should go before they accidentally die."

"We should," Lupin agreed, staring him down.  "Did you want some closure?"

"No.  I don't have parents. I'm not a parent like them and I'm damn sure never going to become one. I'm not a drunk.  I'm not a cultist.  I'm not an abusive father or mother.  I'm not pushing my kids to be harmed so they can supposedly get stronger.  I'm not going to do anything like them.  I refuse."

Goemon gave him a gentle hug.  "I'm proud of the father you are."

"Goemon, if you keep that up, we're going to have to call you our father-in-law," Jigen said dryly.  He glared at the couple again.  "So, now you've heard it from his mouth.  Quit your shit and get over it.  You sucked as parents.  You sucked so badly in his life that he withstood hell.  That's not making him stronger, that's bad parenting.  I hope your God sees you for the pieces of crap you are."  He turned and left.

Lupin looked at them.  "You nearly ruined him," he told them.  "Fortunately we got there in time to rescue him from a lonesome life of depression, lack of affection, and dying at the hands of someone like you.  We were damn lucky we took the time to get to know him.  Too bad you never did."  He'd had his say while Jigen was ranting, and had even hit Xander's father once.  He was better now.  He looked at Goemon, then at Xander, pulling him in for a kiss.  "You can take mine or Jigen's name," he promised with a gentle smile for him.  "Just don't get officially adopted by Goemon, it'd screw with the group."  Xander grinned at him, a happy, content smile.  So he kissed him again, making Xander moan and cling to his body.  "Are you coming with us or do you have to manage more of Melissa's disaster?"

"No, it's handled," he whispered.  "Bastian did the final thing I had forgotten about."  He grinned at Goemon.  "How many cars do we have?"

"Not enough," Goemon admitted.  "Your daughter can ride in the trunk if necessary."

"She's got a rental," Lupin offered.

Xander beamed and walked him out.  Someone bowed to them and he sneered.  "I'm not like they said, little man.  I'm Lavelle now.  I'm a world class thief and assassin. My parents have not a clue who I really am.  This is all so much shit.  Get with reality.  If you really want to fight demons, go to where I was working in LA.  They'll need the help someday."  He walked Lupin on, taking the rental's keys from Jigen's hand.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  You?"  He pulled him closer to give him a gentle kiss, earning him a goofy grin in return.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  Let's get the rental too."

"Sure, Xander," Jigen agreed.  "Who do you want with you?  We need an adult with each car."

"I can drive this one," Ishi offered, rolling down the windows.  "Dad can ride with us.  Fujiko is in the other car nagging Arsene to not drive like she's in a race.  She just called for some sanity and someone else to drive since she said she can't fit behind the steering wheel."

"Tell me about it," Xander said dryly.  "I spent a lot of time on the bike since I couldn't fit behind the steering wheel with the girls," he said with a smirk.  He heard a cleared throat and turned, frowning at the young man standing there.  "Yeah?"

"Great One, how did you have children?" he asked, looking at the ground.  "Your parents have said that being gay is wrong, but if you are a Messenger of Hope, then it can't be.  Correct?"

Xander tipped the boy's face up.  "I had the kids because I was stuck with an artifact that made me female.  I had five kids.  They hurt," he said dryly.  "Being gay is not wrong.  I've got two husbands and sometimes they're so worn out they don't know what to do with me.  Be whatever you want to be, just don't follow the stupidity that my parents have put down.  They're wrong about who I am.  I survived.  That's who I was.  Now I'm Lavelle and a loving and caring father and husband."

The man smiled at him.  "Thank you, Messenger.  Your message is very strong and shall be passed on to the others.  For those who wish to fight the dark as you did, where should they go once your parents are gone?"

"LA.  There's a place called Angel Investigations.  Go see Fred."

The man nodded.  "Thank you, Great One.  I wish you many years of happiness now that your trials are over with.   May you prosper and grow gentler in your old age because you no longer have to fight."  He bowed and walked off to tell the others.  Starting with those who were kneeling just out of reach of the group.

"They are?" Xander asked.

"Yeah, Xander, they are," Lupin promised, giving him another kiss.  "No more trials for the Xander."

"Yeah, kid.  No more bad things.  Except how you get to tell Ray that he lost all his pictures of Bix on his computer."

"Nah, the hellhound wouldn't eat graphics files.  It nearly died after eating a holy picture."  He looked at the others.  "Let's load up and head out!" he called.  He looked over as Goemon came out, looking calm.  "Did you leave them living?"

"No," he said with a shrug.  "They were not worthy of my blade, but deserving of it."  He got into the passenger's seat. "Let us go, son."

"Yes, father."  He backed out.

Xander looked at his mates.  "Shotgun!"  He jogged for the rental car.

Lupin laughed as he followed. "That fine with you, Jigen?"

"Hey, he can sit in my lap," he said smugly, following them.  "Bench seats anyway," he offered, getting in and shoving Xander into the middle.  "There, much better now."

"Fine, but I get to pick the radio station," Xander said in a mock pout, bending down to fiddle with the dial until he found an oldies station he liked.  Lupin started the car and pulled out, heading for the airport.  On the way they passed another car with some familiar people.  "Hey, it's Pops," he said, looking back at them.  "I wonder which Fed called them in."

Jigen forced him to turn around.  "Now that you're freer, can we see the other warehouses and see what else the empire holds?  I want to hold court for a few days."

"Sure," Xander agreed, snuggling in-between his two men.  He was comfortable.

Undercover.

Ray Kowalski put down the fax on his boss's desk, staring him down.  "I can't not go," he said firmly.  "Vecchio may be broken at the moment with that broken ankle, but I've got to go."

"You can't go alone," he said reasonably.

"So?  It's my department!" he defended.  "They won't shoot me!"

"They will," he said tiredly, handing over a copy of the email he had been sent.  "Here.  From the Chief there, requesting that we send you two back, and that you handle this investigation."  He looked at him.  "I've not let on that Ray's unable to walk with that broken ankle."

"Still, he can direct from the hotel room," he said firmly.  He dialed their home on the phone, getting a very grouchy Ray.  "I know, it's time for pain killers.  You up to a trip?"

"I can't walk!" he said bitterly.  "How am I supposed to chase some crook halfway around the world?"

"Easy, it's our department.  Someone just tried to shoot Huey."

"Excuse me?" Ray demanded.  "Repeat that?"

"Someone tried to shoot Huey coming out of the precinct," he said grimly.  "They think it's another cop and that they've stumbled into something.  We're needed back there."  Ray let out a few muttered swears in Italian.  "Thank you for not teaching me what those mean yet," Stanley said dryly.  "So?"

"I can't," he sighed.  "I can't stand up.  I'm no good in a wheelchair."

"You can go to the hotel and help," Stan promised.

"And do what?"

"Research, talk to people, act like the Don some people thought you were," he said dryly.  "They're still scared'a ya there."

"Fine.  But you're still going to need help and you won't know who to trust.  It's been too long."

"Oh, I have an idea," he admitted.  "There's how many Mounties in Chicago?"

"You want Benny?" he asked bitterly.

"No, I want Turnbull," he said firmly.  "He's a goofball but he's got the skills."

"No," Ray vetoed.  "He don't.  Not enough in this setting.  He's a bit too eager too."  There was silence for a moment.  "That leaves us with two options.  We trust someone, or we blackmail someone."

"You have blackmail material on a cop in Chicago after all this time?" Zenigata asked.

"No, but I have plenty on Lavelle," Stanley said dryly.  "So, how Mountie can we make him?"

"Lavelle?" Ray snorted.  "Let's try for Interpol Inspector."  They heard a beep in the background.  "Hold on, text message.  I still need to find that bug they planted in the new place."  He looked at his phone.  "Lupin said there's not a chance you're taking Xander."

"Fine.  I'll call him directly," Stanley said smugly, dialing while he said it.  Xander answered cheerfully. "Don't sound so fuckin' cheerful.  I've got a problem and I need your help."  He listened to the cautious question.  "No, we got a dirty cop shootin' at others we know and like.  Back home.  Do you think you can play a Mountie?"  He snickered.  "No, I don't think a butt plug would help your posture that much," he said fondly, making Zenigata snicker and fall out of his chair laughing.  He could hear Ray laughing too.  "Please?" he asked.  "Sure.  Leaving now.  Meet me there.  Love you too, and tell Lupin I said you'll be fine."  He hung up.  "Ray?"

"I'll head over tonight."

"I'll meet Lavelle in town and we'll make plans, we'll fly over together.  Get us tickets."  He hung up and looked over the edge of his desk at his boss.  "That fine with you?"

"Go," he said, waving him off.  "I think they're local anyway."

"Nah, he was in Japan.  I heard that twangy guitar thingy going off in the background.  There's no tea houses here."  He took the papers with him, making one more call, to his old boss.  "Coming in," he greeted.  "With a twist.  Trust me."  He hung up and headed home to pack.  Lavelle would come to the house, he knew where it was.

***

Lupin burst into the room where Xander was tipping the geishas.  "No way you're going."

"Bite me," Xander said sweetly, smiling at one of the girls.  "Thank you, it was lovely, but business calls desperately."  He bowed properly and got up, heading out to get his shoes and head off with Lupin complaining behind him.  "I'm going," he said firmly.  He walked into the back of a cop and smiled.  "Sorry, my mistake, officer," he said in Japanese, walking around him and out to the car.  He grabbed the bag from the back and waved, disappearing.  He landed in front of Ray Vecchio, looking at him and his bug detector.  "That's about a decade behind the bug, Ray.  Do you think it'll work?"

"It makes a good blunt instrument," he said dryly. "So, think you could pull off a Mountie?"

"Actually, I probably could, but I might have to break persona now and then.  It'd be easier if I wasn't."  He looked at his cast, then gently touched it.  "They did a good job," he said, adding a bit of a healing spell to it.  "Boosting Dawn's healing," he offered, pulling back. "That way you don't ache as much when you're an ancient and old man."  He looked around, then at him.  "Where's Bix?"

"Bedroom.  Napping."  He looked him over.  "Where were you?"

"A tea house.  Lupin came in wide-eyed and ranting."  He sat down, politely crossing his legs and looking attentive.  "If I can't do the Mountie thing, I can definitely do a cop well enough to pass.  I did a few years back in New York."  He played with some of his hair and then pulled it back.  "I even got style," he said with a smirk.  Stanley walked in and he waved.  "A Mountie?"

"They're used to us being around one."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I might have to break persona to protect you.  Unless you send me in as some sort of specialist in undercover?  Or something in narcotics?  Maybe vice?"

"It's an idea," Stanley admitted.  "We're picking up Turnbull on the way in," he told Ray.  "I called him and talked to him and Thatcher.  I told her what was up.  She agreed to play along and keep Benny away from us."  Ray nodded at that.  "But we can have Diefenbaker if we want.  He's shedding on her uniform again."

"Wonderful," Ray agreed. "He's also probably got arthritis."

"He does," Xander agreed, getting a bit more comfortable.  "Then again, there's ways around that."  He shrugged at their looks.  "What?  I think we can fix a few things that way.  Not all Mounties have furry helpers."

"Point," Ray agreed.  "We'll say you're a liaison to us here at the moment."  Xander nodded.  "That means you've got to hide most of your weapons."

"No, really?" he asked dryly.  "Do you think you see a tenth of mine at the moment?  For all I care, you can say I'm one of the stuffy diplomat guys, like Turnbull is.  I do speak a number of languages fairly well."

"Where does Canada have offices at?" Stanley asked.

"Probably nearly every friendly country," Xander said with a small shrug.  "You can say I've been stuck in Japan or the somewhere in the Middle East if you want.  I'll let you concoct my backstory with Thatcher.  By the way, she does know me.  I took her out for a spin at a club the last time I was in town.  Delightful woman but needs the broom shoved the other way sometimes."  They gaped at him and he smirked.  "What?  She's a beautiful lady."

"She is," Stanley agreed smugly.  "Going after Benny?"

"Ishi asked me to make sure he was miserable, which he is."  He stood up.  "So?"

"Uniform?"

"There," Xander said dryly.  "I can't just produce an official Mountie uniform."  He looked at them.  "Unless we're suggesting I go to the local embassy and ask."  They stared at him.  "Sure."  He walked out, shaking his head and flagged down a cab.  He got into the back.  "Canadian Embassy please?"  The cabby looked at him so he repeated it in Dutch for him.  The driver nodded and took off.  He walked inside and put his sunglasses on top of his head, smiling and saluting the man behind the desk.  "Hello, Constable Harris.  I've been on assignment in Japan and I'm here on vacation, and stupidly didn't bring any uniforms.  I'm being sent to Chicago ASAP because of their problems there with a sniper.  Are there any spares?" he asked quietly.  "I can have it tailored if I have to."

"Maybe," he offered, looking him over.  "You don't stand properly.  Who are you really?"

Xander produced a business card.  "I'm going over to take care of the cop shooting at the embassy as a favor to a Mountie over there.  I thought I'd go quietly instead of going loudly."

"Let me talk to the ambassador," he said quickly, heading that way.  He came out a moment later and held the door open.  "He'll see you now."

"Thank you."  Xander walked that way and saluted him, standing at parade rest.  "I was asked to protect the embassy in Chicago.  They've got a bad cop going sniper who has tried to hit the embassy for the past help they've given to the city."

"You're an assassin?" he asked.

Xander smirked and nodded.  "Definitely.  A very well known one."  He let down his trademark hair, making the man hiss.  "It's a favor to a friend there. They like the Mounties and have a crush on one.  I owe them a huge favor."

"I see."  He looked him over.  "You stand too slouchy."

"I have a small curve in my spine.  It's from all the time spent over books.  I can say I was on embassy duty as a door guard.  Or as a bodyguard.  Let's face it, I am fluent in a few languages as well."

He considered it.  "This is an unusual request."

"You'd rather see them dead?  They've already shot at the embassy twice.  They're not able to put a guard outside now.  Last time the person nearly blew his head off."

"Then it is a danger to Canada and extraordinary circumstances and all that.  By the time you get there, you must be able to quote chapter and verse of the handbook and present the proper image."

"Of course. I expected no less.  I also expect Thatcher to jump on my case if I slip."

He smirked back.  "Oh, she will.  She's affectionately known for chewing on her inferiors."  He looked him over again.  "Well, you meet regulations every other way.  I suppose we can.  Just a uniform?"

"Which you'll get back once I'm done," Xander assured him firmly.  "I only want to protect them."

"Fine.  I'll get you one.  You can have one tailored you said?"  Xander nodded.  "You know a good tailor in town?"

"I know four or five," he admitted.  "Want their names?"  He nodded and Xander took a piece of paper, checking it first, and wrote down their names and addresses.  "By order of preference for suits and things."

"Thank you, Lavelle.  Do Canada proud and we may not arrest you this time."

Xander grinned at him. "I figure my grace runs out about five minutes after I've protected the consulate."  He saluted and walked out behind the receptionist, going to get that uniform.  He came out of the storeroom in it, adjusting the belt.  He had seen enough Mounties to know how to put them on.  She looked at him.  "What?"

"Wrong belt," she noted, taking it off him and going to get another one.  "This will mark you as a Constable instead."  She handed it over, watching as he put it on.  "You look good in it.  You could reform and join us."

He grinned. "I do a lot of traveling this way.  It's one of the good things about the life."  He blew a kiss and saluted her again.  "Thank you kindly, ma'am," he said in direct imitation of the only Mountie he had watched repeatedly.  "Have a nice day."  He walked off, taking his suit with him.  His hair was up under his hat.  He'd deal with that issue in a bit, probably with an illusion over it.  He took a cab back to Ray and Stan's place, tapping first, standing at parade rest until the door was opened.  Stanley gaped and he grinned.  "Good afternoon, Inspector.  You called for me to come attend you for this most heinous situation?"

"Get in here," he said, watching him walk inside.  "New boots?"  Xander nodded.  "Ohh, sorry."

"They'll be broken in by tonight," he promised.  He looked at Ray, who could only gape.  "Maybe a topknot and a bun for my hair," he said thoughtfully, taking off his hat to fix that.  Dawn walked in and gaped so he grinned at her.  "I'm being helpful."

"Oh, God, you're going to the Mounties now?" she whimpered.  "Oh, please, don't become a Mountie."

Xander kissed her on the cheek.  "Have no fear, ma'am."   He looked at Stanley.  "When are our travel arrangements for?  I fear I must brush up on the book of conduct and rules."

"We've got a copy on the bookshelf," Stanley said, staring at him.  "You're good," he said finally, watching him walk.

"He is," Dawn agreed.  "I had no idea."  She went to take pictures and send them to Jigen, who probably wasn't up yet so Lupin couldn't have told him about this.  Maybe she'd make him pass out or something.

***

Xander walked into the consulate, stopping to salute the guardian just inside the doorway, and his feather duster.  "Constable Harris, reporting as ordered to help out with this heinous and uncivil problem.  Where might the Inspector be?"

"She's probably in her office," he offered, looking him over.  He decided he had better posture, but this guy was better looking and seemed more deadly to him.  He withheld a shudder by the merest means of his control and looked him over again.  "I say, you do look familiar."

Xander grinned. "I get that a lot," he offered back.  "I'm seen at many embassies around the world.  I'm a specialist in defense and offensive maneuvers.  Plus research.  May I?"

"Oh, yes, let me tell her you're here. I'm sure she's expecting you, Constable," he offered as he put down his feather duster and lead the way that way.  "Do you know what's going on?  It was most dreadful that they shot at our consulate."

Xander nodded.  "From what Inspectors Kowalski and Vecchio told me on the plane over, there's a rogue cop going after some of the best."  He waited while Turnbull introduced him, then saluted her as she came out.  "Constable Harris, Inspector.  Where do you need me?"

She looked at him. "You look...familiar. Where did I see you?"

Xander smiled at her. "Probably at a dance, Inspector.  I did do a turn with you once upon a time."  She nodded at that.  "Now, how can I be of service to protect Canada?"

"I heard you're here to work with Kowalski.  Where's he?"

"Heading there at the moment.  I thought it more appropriate to check in first.  That way I could gauge what of my skills you needed to protect this small corner of Canada."  She nodded at that, looking quite regal.  "Shall we adjourn to your office or does Turnbull have that data for me?" he prompted.

"Your belt's on upside down."

He looked at it, then at her.  "The logo is in the correct position but I admit to having to reprovision in Paris."

"That explains it.  The European belts are backwards of ours.  Into my office, Constable.  What can you do?"

"He's a security expert and knows very well how to get around them.  Constable," Benton Fraser greeted firmly.

"Constable Fraser.  Long time no see."  He shook his hand.  "Hello, Diefenbaker."  He nodded politely at the wolf.  "Lotus sends her greetings."  The wolf woofed gently and sat down to stare at him.  He looked at the Inspector, taking off his hat.  "I was asked to protect you by Inspector Vecchio, Inspector."

"I thought so. You're too young to have hair that light."

He ran a hand through the mass that had come down.  "Yes, well, not my fault really," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "Do I pass?"

"You do," she agreed.  "Thank you for reminding me to write my superiors about the belts in Europe as well.  What can you do?"

Xander smiled.  "You'd be surprised.  What do you need?"

"I need things to run as normally as possible without getting a guard shot."

"That's fine.  Would you prefer I work behind the scenes to protect the consulate?  Or would you prefer I help in the investigation?"  He grabbed his bag, pulling out a smaller bag.  "I've also brought alarms with me.  I noticed the signs that someone's been picking the lock."  She looked at her men, who looked clueless. "I'm not sure who, but I can have the security upgraded within two hours, while Inspector Kowalski works with his people.  Then I'll join him if you wanted.  I've also brought a better bulletproof vest for whoever is on guard duty."  He looked at them, then focused on Turnbull.  "It's adjustable but it'll probably fit you better.  It's a slimline but it's made of special metal that's just now being put onto the market in Japan.  It's tank grade."  He moaned at that and handed it over.  "Try that on under your jacket, Constable.  It shouldn't look too bulky."

"What about head shots?" Inspector Thatcher asked.

Xander looked at her.  "I do deal in the strange and unusual as well, Inspector.  I already have ideas for that as well."  She nodded her head at that.  "Did you want me upgrade and then explain or follow me around while I do it?"

"Turnbull can.  Explain it to him.  If he can understand the explanation, I can."

"Of course.  As you wish."  He handed over a card.  "My temporary cellphone number.  I did promise to hand you the uniform when I was done so you could send it back."  She smirked at that.  "I wouldn't want to live like a Mountie, ma'am, I can't travel that way.  My kids would be very disappointed."  He looked around.  "By the way, they may or may not show up, but Ishi has promised to leave the consulate and most of the staff alone."

She looked at him, then at Fraser, then back at him.  "While this is going on, I would prefer we have a truce," she said firmly.

"He's seventeen. He may if you ask him, but I'm not going to promise for him."

"I'll talk to him if you bring him in."

"Yes, Inspector.  Let me start with the front door and work my way to the back.  It'll be easier and then I can plug them into the new monitor.  Constable, could you help me get the four cases out of my car?"  He nodded, coming to help him.  He leaned closer.  "How technically challenged are you?"

"Not in the least," he said with a small smirk, "she just believes I am."

"Ah. That's fine.  I'm putting up the new Berger alarms and I've got a wireless monitor that'll work for most of them.  I'm also putting up some magical protections on the building that should protect you from headshots and should stop a bullet.  That's my personal vest but I can get a new one if I can't get it back.  It will hold against a nine mil or a forty-five bullet," he offered.  "It has in the past, seven times."  Turnbull smiled at that.  "It should also fit under your tunic."

"Thank you, Lavelle."

"You're welcome, Turnbull.  Sorry about the slouching, but I've got a small spine curvature.  I saw you looking.  By the way, have you seen the new embassy in Japan?  It's very beautiful.  Has a wonderful set of grounds.  You'd love it and their main guard is out on maternity leave for six weeks."

"I could do a temporary transfer," he offered, smiling at him. "You need me out of the way?"

"No, just a suggestion.  I think you'd get more out of it than Fraser would.  He doesn't seem to appreciate beauty or youth."  He hefted two of the cases.  "Leave the black one.  It's a weapon's case.  I have a current US license to carry and carry concealed."  He walked back inside, starting with the front door as promised.  By the time he was done, not even Lupin the Fourth could sneak in there and not even Lotus could break the protections on the building itself.  He stepped outside to look at it.  Only one thing showed and it was a new camera.  "Sorry, Inspector, I couldn't hide that," he offered, pointing up at it.

She looked up.  "That's fine.  It's not more obvious than our old one."  She looked at him.  "Passcode?"

"Fingerprint scan.  It's already keyed to yours and Turnbull's.  One of you will put it on 'monitor' in the mornings with that and a flip of the switch, and turn it back on 'active' at night."  He stepped closer.  "On 'monitor' it will still go off if anyone with an excess of gunpowder comes near or other harmful chemicals on their bodies.  It will also go off if anyone carries in a gun-shaped object."  He tossed his plastic one through the door, then looked at her as the alarm went off.  "That's airline safe."

"Well," she said happily, walking in to turn it off at the main desk.  "That is very nice.  What's the time range to get in here?"

He nodded her back outside and pointed at a small panel above the doorknob.  "That's your monitor and active spot," he said quietly.  "That and turning the key."

"Even better.  What about Fraser?"

"I told Turnbull how to include him, but I'm not putting him into the system."

"Fine.  I understand why.  How is your stepson?"

"Well enough.  He's still scarred.  He's still got problems with his eyes from the blast.  If he hadn't ducked, he'd be blind or dead."  She shivered and nodded her understanding.  He looked across the street, then at her, then back.  "Arsene," he snapped.  "Here, now!"  She gave him an odd look but walked over, looking at him funny until she realized who she was staring at, then her eyes went wide.  "Where's Ishi?"

"Here, why?"

"I'd like to ask him for a truce during this incident," the Inspector told her. "I've heard you're fair and I do understand that you want to harm Constable Fraser greatly.  But I do need him until this is settled and we're safe again."

She considered it.  "I'll bring it to him.  We're only passing through.  I was wondering why someone was turning this place into a fortress.  I heard there was a new problem in town."

"Which I'm working on and which is making your father have a heart attack," Xander told her.  "What were you in town for?"

"Melissa.  She went to have a formal meeting with her aunt."  She shrugged.  "I only sat in the car and listened with Lotus.  Ishi's in the park playing with the dogs."

"Fine.  Ask him.  You guys can't stay.  We've got a rogue cop."

"Ooooh," she hissed, shaking her head.  "Not my thing.  I'll ask him, Inspector.  Him and his sister both.  We'll hold a meeting and let you know later.  Here?"  She nodded.  "Very well.  Thank you.  Father."  She nodded and backed away.  "You look good in the uniform.  Dad must be freaking out."  She turned and ran off, heading back to their car to tell the others.

Xander looked at her.  "Expect to be visited tonight if they don't show up here right before closing."

"That's fine. I'd expect nothing else from a thief and assassin."  She looked at him.  "We danced?"

"Salsa club, Cinco de Mayo a few years back?" he prompted.  "You were moaning over something about spilled whiteout in your coffee?"

"Oh, that night," she said, nodding.  "I was fairly drunk."

He nodded.  "I know, I brought you home."  He saluted her.  "With your permission, Inspector, I'm off to the twenty-seventh."

"Go.  Check in daily.  I want to know in exact detail what you've done each day."

"Yes, Inspector."  He walked off, striding firmly like the rest of them did.

She watched him go.  "He walks like Turnbull," she said, frowning a bit.  She went back inside, picking up the weapon and putting it on the front desk.  "Thank you.  Where is the switch for the alarm again?"  Turnbull held up the small pad.  "Thank you.  Constable Fraser?"

"I haven't coded him, Inspector.  I was waiting on your orders on that matter."

"We'll think about it."  She went back to her office, going to make notes and start a file.  She was going to carefully document this for her superiors.  She was not going to get burned over this.  Hopefully they'd get to keep the security upgrades at least.

***

Xander walked into the twenty-seventh and looked around, then at the desk sergeant.  "Is Inspector Kowalski still in?" he asked pleasantly.  "I was told to liaison with him."

"Another Mountie?"

"A security specialist for the various embassies," he offered.  "On special assignment locally."

"He's still upstairs.  Need a map?"

"No, I can follow the people up there.  Thank you kindly."  He walked that way, taking the stairs two at a time until he got up to the top level.  Fortunately he had changed his hair a bit, it was dark and looked short again.  He took off his hat, putting it under his arm.  "Ma'am, is Inspector Kowalski in?  I was told to liaison with him."

She looked up at him and stared, mouth open.  "Another Mountie?" she asked finally.

"Constable Harris," he said seriously, shaking her hand.  "Here on special assignment to help him and the local consulate.  Is the Inspector still here?"

"He's still in the office.  Go ahead in."

"Thank you kindly."  He headed that way, tapping gently before walking in and shutting the door behind him.  "Sir, Constable Harris reporting as ordered," he said, snapping off a salute.

"We ordered another mountie?" the Lieutenant asked his Inspector.

"He's on special assignment to the local consulate to protect them."  He looked at him.  "Done?"

"They're fully alarmed, warded, and protected, plus I did hand Constable Turnbull a new bullet-proof vest for his times on guard and made sure that not even a head shot would get through.  I included your fingerprints on the alarm system, though I did forget to mention that to the Inspector, but I did remember to tell Constable Turnbull.  He was most helpful while I was setting up the security upgrades."  He looked at the Lieutenant.  "How can I best serve this investigation, sir?"

"You're bold for a Mountie," he said blandly, looking him over.  "Is the belt on upside down?"

"It's European, sir.  Their logo is upside down."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I don't understand that."

"Something about protocol.  I don't know, I only follow orders," he offered patiently.

"Sit, Constable, let's talk," he said, looking at him.  "You look familiar."

"I get that a lot, sir.  Some say I look like a wanted man even."  Kowalski snorted and shook his head. "I figured you had told him."  He nodded.  "Fine.  They're fully set up and I proved it with my plastic tossaway that I carry onboard planes."  He looked at the Lieutenant again.  "So, how can I best help the Inspector so he's not killed?  By the way, the kids are leaving in a few days.  Melissa was in town for a meeting with her aunt."

"Can we keep Ishi and Melissa?" Stan asked.  Xander handed over his phone.  "Thanks."  He called the number listed for Ishi's phone, getting a surly young man.  "Don't give me lip, kid. I'll taunt you at the next convention.  We could probably use you and Melissa if you'd stay."  He listened. "Fine.  Even you and your sword would be fine, kid.  Sure."  He listened to Arsene.  "No, not you.  You're too flashy.  We need quiet.  By the way, leave Warfield alone.  I mean it."  He smirked.  "I bet," he snorted.  "He's not one to play with.  You yank his chain and he bites."

"Not my kid he doesn't," Xander said firmly.  "I will take offense."  He looked at the Lieutenant.  "So, how can I help?"

"Can you help quietly?"

"Do you think I'd be a Mountie if I couldn't?"

"Point," he admitted.  "You make a good one.  If I didn't know, I couldn't tell."  Someone knocked on his door. "Enter!"   The civilian aid from out front walked in.  "You needed something, Miss Vecchio?"

"Oh, you must be Ray's missing sister," he said, shaking her hand.  "He's said a lot about you."

"Probably mostly lies," she said with a smile.  "Coffee, Constable?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you, Miss Vecchio.  Or are you an officer as well?"

"No, I'm an aid.  Call me Frannie."

"Frannie then," he said with a small smile.  "There may be another, trainee, Constable coming in, I'm not sure yet."  Stanley hung up and nodded.  "He is coming?"

"Yes, he is, but he's not got a uniform.  He's been undercover a lot recently.  He'll be wearin' mob clothes," he told Frannie.  "We need ta see him immediately.  Got it?"  She nodded, giving him a long stare.  "What?"

"Where's my brother?"

"The Hyatt."

"Thanks."  She went back to her desk, smiling as the young man came up the stairs.  "Are you the new Constable?" she asked.  He nodded silently. "They're in the office.  That was fast."

"I was only up the street," he said quietly, heading that way.  He knocked and walked in at the barked 'enter'.  "Reporting for duty, sir," he said, snapping off a salute with a smug look.  "You needed my special skills?"

"Yeah, I do," Xander agreed.  "Close the door."  The door was closed.  "You okay with this?"

"My father will shit pink diamonds," he said patiently. "I'm letting Lotus explain it instead of Arsene."  He looked at the Lieutenant, then at Stanley, who was giving him a smug look.  "They stopped in on Ray, Stan.  Melissa shared some news from her aunt, who insulted her greatly, and they had a wonderful snack together.  One of Warfield's people did come up to complain to Arsene so she calmly tried to rearrange his molecular bonds for him.  Then she told him that not only did her Uncle Lavelle protect him, that she was adding her own since he had tried to turn her straight once and since his mother was a very nice lady.  I'm hoping he got the point."

"I'm hoping so too," Lavelle agreed dryly.  "If not, I'm sure we can reinforce it gently later."  He looked at Stanley.  "We done?  We need info and plans."

"We need info," Stanley said grimly. "We're not sure who it is."

"Fine.  We'll talk to others.  Do we know where we should start?  Drugs, liquor, money and gambling, pros?"  They shook their heads.  "You don't have any sort of a lead?"

"Two," Welsh said, handing over the two bullets.  "The detectives they pulled them out of are still alive.  He's a very good shot.  It may come down to a battle of shooters."

"We both are," Ishi said, taking one to look at.  "This is foreign."

"It is," Xander agreed.  "British."  He looked at him.  "I can track that."  He nodded at that.  "Anything else?"

"I'd prefer to arrest them with proof enough for a court conviction.  If not, make sure they can't do it again."

"Fine.  We'll sit a watch on the precinct."

"He's hit another one and tried to hit two more and the consulate," Stanley told him. He handed over a map.  "That's all they know so far."

Xander looked it over.  "Well, it's a pretty arch."  He looked at them.  "Anything else?"  They shook their heads.  "Then we'll be heading back to the Hyatt.  We've got the room next to these two," he said with a nod toward Stanley.  He handed over one of his business cards.  "That's my real cell and I've got a temporary one written on the back.  If you need me, yell.  It's a nice thing that you put out two detectives who are good enough for me to respect."  He stood up and put back on his hat.  "Anything else, Lieutenant?"

"Which one was you a few years back?"

"I was the supposedly real Stanley," he said with a grin.  "He was busy and I needed to be here to protect Ray."  He winked and walked out with Ishi, talking quietly.  Ishi nodded and stopped to charm the Civilian Aid into getting them the information they needed as a place to start.  He went back to his car and headed back to the Hyatt, going to take the keys from Arsene.  She had left him a large packet at the front desk and he smiled at the girl behind the counter with a 'thank you kindly' before heading up to his room.  He tapped on the connecting door and walked over at Ray's grunt. "You okay?"

"I ache."

"Need pills?"

"You got pills?"

"Usually.  I have some Tylenol 3's at the moment.  I still get those stupid power headaches."  He looked at him. "Or I have a vial of demerol in my traveling first aid kit and a few needles."

"Please.  I'll take the demerol. I get sick on codeine."

"Sure."  He went to grab it and came back, tapping out five cc's of it.  "Where?  Arm or leg?"

"Leg, that way it acts faster."  Xander nodded and injected it for him, weathering the hiss.  "Thanks, Xander."

"Welcome."  He capped the needle and went to toss it into his sharp's container and refrigerate the demerol.  He came back with what little they knew, telling him what he had done.  He also recorded it for the Inspector's records.  He had no doubt she was doing a file at the moment.

"The bullets are nice, but not readily available."

"Ishi's getting your sister to find out which stores sell them."

"He's staying?"  He nodded. "Fine."  Xander handed over the packet he had glanced at. "What's this?"

"From Lupin the Fourth.  Has your name on it."

He pulled out the papers, which were transcripts of a conversation and the tape they had come from.  His eyes bugged and he looked at Xander, who shrugged.  "What did he do?"

"Probably insulted them.  I heard Melissa's aunt did her."  Ray nodded.  "How?"

"Told her no proper girl should ever be a gunman and she was wasting her life and skills on Lupin.  That she'd die very young and painfully if she didn't join her instead.  Offered her a job as her second in training.  Melissa pointed out that she already had a very good reputation in Europe and Asia, plus starting here in the US, and that she didn't want a sedate lifestyle.  Her aunt pointed out that she could marry and Melissa told her she liked girls mostly, so that wasn't really an option in this restrictive country.  She also noted that Chicago wasn't the sort of place that was worthy of her skills because the power brokers were on the West Coast and if she wanted to play those sedate mind games she would go to LA.  Her aunt was not amused, told her she'd never be anything but a gunwoman and reviled and heckled for it.  So Melissa called Warfield to get a report for her on her reputation, letting him give it to her while she sat back and smirked.  Her aunt had a sudden blood pressure spike and possibly an aneurism.  She was drug off babbling about her niece."

"Good," Xander said smugly.  "That trained monkey thought that keeps going around is not making them happy girls."  He smiled at him.  "What did Warfield say?"

"He swore about overblown egos and reputations from the old lines and how they weren't accurate but how her school rating was because the Assassin's Academy was well respected."  He handed over the transcripts.

Xander flipped through them, smirking broadly.  "They don't have an idea about a tenth of what she's done just by herself, not counting with Lupin and the older group."  He handed it back.  "He may be swearing for whole new reasons tomorrow.  You might want to get that to someone."

"Stan's ex is coming up for dinner.  I'll let her have 'em and they can chat about old times."

"You can come watch cartoons and anime with Ishi and I," he offered with a grin.

"No thanks, really.  How was my sister?"

"Drooling."

"As usual," he agreed dryly.  Someone tapped on the door.  "What!" he called.

"Housekeeping," Ishi called.  Xander got up to answer the door, nodding at the civilian aid.  "She's still drooling."

"What can I say, you're adorable," she said, pinching his cheek. "Even though I know I've seen you before."

"We've got to work on your disguise," Xander told him, walking him next door.  "Anything?"

"Ten shops sell the stuff.  Stanley said we'd go tomorrow once we had a full plan of attack.  Which leaves me free for Lupin's curtain call job tonight."  He nodded at the door and Ishi grinned. "Thanks, mom."  He headed out, going to do that.

"Do I want to know?" Vecchio asked.

Xander looked at him.  "I think the more important question is do *I* want to know," he noted dryly. "I'm not sure who they're doing, her aunt, Warfield, who knows with Arsene."  He shrugged and went back to his room, finding a note in there from Melissa, which made him grin.  Apparently her father had a bad reaction to seeing him in uniform and Lupin had to have him treated for a blood pressure spike, but he was fine now, just vowing that they'd have to shoot Xander if he really was a cop and they'd have to get Arsene to do it since she was so mean.  He pulled out his laptop, writing him a quick note about what was going on, in code, and sent it to Goemon.  He knew the code better than Jigen, who kept forgetting it.  Then he surfed his groups and his chat list of people, hearing all them complaining about him.  He wrote out a quick note under someone else's name, getting a virtual smack in the head from that person, who was also lurking apparently.

***

In Japan, Lupin was frantically trying to undo some damage from people spreading around that Xander had been seen in a uniform, putting out that it was for a 'job' but leaving it there.  He looked over as Goemon suddenly got up and went to look at Melissa's secondary laptop, which they were using, and then chuckled. "What?" he asked, sounding very cranky.

"Xander says to tell them that he's doing a favor for someone and testing the suit-of-armor rumors about red serge.  That he's fine, he has my son and Lotus will be explaining that, and to tell the other thieves if he was really going to go good, he wouldn't and couldn't go quite that far toward good."  Lupin typed that in, getting some slightly less paranoid people.  "He said to order Chicago cleared.  He's sending the children off tomorrow, but Arsene had something she wanted to do tonight.  Otherwise, he wants all of Chicago's syndicates and freelancers to take a long vacation.  That this will end up bothering quite a few of the harder families."

"You mean the older families?" Jigen asked.

"No, he said harder families.  He did say that Warfield insulted the girls."

"Why are *our* girls in Chicago?" Lupin demanded, typing that in as well as Lavelle's request to leave Chicago.  What he got back made him blink a few times.  "Oh, hell," he said faintly.  "Jigen, your sister may not live much longer.  She insulted Melissa, Warfield insulted Melissa, and there's a costume ball tonight for charity which they'll both be at."  They shared a look and they each grabbed their phones to call their daughters and warn them.  This was not a playground and not a fun job, they could easily die for this and the repercussions would last for a *very* long time.  Lupin looked as more and more of the thieves decided to follow his lead and leave Chicago for a few weeks.  If it was bad enough that cops were scared, Lavelle was in a uniform pretending to be a cop, and the Mounties were bulking up their embassy, they wanted no part of the upcoming war, and someone did decide to ask if it was a real war or just a gang war.  Lupin typed in that he didn't know, but that Lavelle was there trying to help the situation.  To leave him alone, to not look at him, to just leave the city and ignore it for a few weeks.  That got most of them motivated and headed out of the city for a long vacation, mostly in Florida and New York to visit relatives.

Jigen looked at the message Goemon had translated and smirked, shaking his head.  "They've got a rogue cop, do not tell the others, Lupin."

"I'm not.  Rogue?"  He looked at him.  "You're sure?  They weren't earlier."

"They are now.  All they've got is two bullets, a nice pattern of places hit, including the Canadian embassy and the twenty-seventh, and him and Ishi working with Stan and Ray."

"My son is doing what?" Goemon asked quietly.  Jigen handed him his phone so he called his son.  "You're doing what?" he repeated.  He listened, then slowly nodded.  "I can understand why you're needed there.  Make sure the girls do evacuate.  Your uncle has called for an evacuation of the city.  Let them know, let them also know that all Lupin has said is that he's handling it, that it's important, that Lavelle wanted the city evacuated, and they've drawn their own conclusions about a street war."  He nodded once and hung up.  "The son is staying to help Lavelle as a backstage handler.  He'll be the one going to visit any and all people who get in his way."  Lupin raised an eyebrow.  "My son does look almost exactly like me and it's not safe to have Melissa do so still."

"Point," Jigen agreed bitterly.  "The girls are what?"

"Going to do something about the problems in their lives.  I'm sure we'll hear someone ranting and screaming by tomorrow morning, local time."

Lupin nodded, turning back to the screen to see a quietly worded question in the chat window.  He typed in a subtle answer and got a virtual nod, and the assassins in Chicago left as well, one of them having to change his travel plans to hit a target.  "Xander's handling it," he decided.  "It'll be fine."

"It will be," Jigen agreed.  "Even if it is Zucko returning in this timeline."

"I'd forgotten about him," Lupin admitted, typing that in a new email to Ray.  He'd be online, he couldn't really move from the hotel.  He got back one instantly with a 'thank you' and 'we'll take that into account'.  He relaxed, Xander had it.  It would be fine.  They could watch this disaster from afar and not have to get involved.  He looked at the others, then nodded and went to pack.  They'd hide outside the city and wait to see if they were needed.

The same as the younger group was.

Because no one would believe Lavelle as a Mountie if they knew it was him.

***

Xander looked over as someone tapped on the interconnecting door, getting up to answer it.  "Yes?  May I help you?"

"Ray said to tell you something about Zucko and past events?" Stan's exwife said patiently. "I don't understand."

"Zucko and I had a few discussions in the past," he offered gently.  "It's nothing and I'm sure things will be fine this time.  Oh, Ray.  There's been a call for quiet and peace locally until whatever is going on is done.  A certain wolf is very much not happy and some people in Paris did see me coming to visit."

"They figured out what?"  Xander got his laptop and handed it over, letting him see it.  "Well, it's not *so* bad.  It's close enough.  He called for an evacuation?"

"No, I called for an evacuation," Xander said honestly.  "It'll be easier to weed someone out if they're getting support.  If their supporters are in Miami, they're either going to go to ground, have to go looking, or make stupid, arrogant mistakes," he pointed at the confused look.   "I'm guessing for option number three."  He took his laptop back and plugged it back in, smiling at the update.  "The assassins locally are leaving as well.  One's having to leave to hunt their target instead of doing the ball tonight and the others are taking sudden trips to Texas."

"Wonderful.  Don't you know someone in Miami?"

"I do," Xander agreed, opening up an email and hitting reply to get her address from it.  He cleared the old message and header line, then simply typed in 'chicago's underground is going on vacation, probably heading south.  Have fun with that'.  He left it unsigned and sent it.  Half of those people pissed him off anyway.

Somewhere in the Miami CSI unit, a young blonde woman opened her new email message and read it, then let out a very ladylike swear, making everyone within hearing distance stare at her.  "Something's happening in Chicago, we're getting the vacation rush early," she announced.  Most of them shuddered and the information worked its way back to the detectives, who would be on the lookout at the airport and the train station for people on wanted lists.

"How did you know?" an older man asked from the doorway.

"Lavelle said so."

"Interesting. We heard from someone in computer crimes who keeps track of Lupin and his gang's chat lines that he's handling something massive up there."

"Yeah, well, he said they're taking a short vacation and mostly heading south," she said, looking back at him.  "He told us to have fun with it."

"Oh, I'm sure we will.  We'll talk about overtime when the crisis is done with.  Any idea what the situation is?"

"No, but I heard from a friend up there that they've got people shooting at embassies and cop stations."

"Interesting.  Very interesting.  I guess we know what's going on now."  He went back to his office to write an email about some overtime possibly coming their way.  If the criminal class of Chicago was headed his way, he wanted to be there to greet them and shake hands as he handcuffed them.  He did get a note from his snitch in computer crimes that everyone knew Lavelle had called them already, and that it was being said that a number of them had insulted the younger group's female members, that's why he was letting them be arrested and giving the warning.  He was sending them off so he could deal with the issue of a rogue up there.  He typed in a query about the younger group and got their last available profile from the criminal bulletin boards and their recent statistics and ratings from the other criminals.  "Why are they not liking them?"

Calliegh leaned in the doorway, smiling as her blonde hair fell from behind her ear. "Because crime, like crime scene investigations, is still a boy's game.  They don't like the fact that they're girls and they rag on them, which makes the girls prove themselves even harder.  Then again, those girls are having fun."  Her boss raised an eyebrow.  "Arsene Lupin the Fourth had her own cruise ship when she was nine.  She bought it at auction and had it renovated, all from her first few crimes.  Her daddy didn't know it was hers, even after she used it to save him."

"Really?  Which one is she?"

"Looks just like her daddy, only female.  Besides, Melissa Jigen's the one we've got to look out for.  She's the techie and inventor of the group.  She's good.  I don't want to go against her, but she's very good.  We're talking chip off the block of momma Sylvia and Daddy Jigen good.  Plus has her Uncle Lavelle's planning abilities.  She's counted as a genius.  Arsene's listed as an annoyance.  The two Goemon children?  Well, Lotus is sweet and nice until you piss her off, and Ishi has that cold man of steel thing going for him.  Plus he's a shooter.  There're people who believe Goemon cheated on his wife and had him with Sylvia since he's so much like Lavelle.  They're not coming this way.  They're going to prove their point yet again and then go have fun, or at least they said so and they told me where you needed to look to find a better profile."  She handed over the email she had gotten.  "Melissa said hi."  She walked off, heading back to her office and her bottle of water and aspirin.  She needed them now.

He read the email, typing in that link instead.  It asked him for a password and he used the one in there, getting a notice it was only for 24 hours.  Then it'd be removed from the system.  He downloaded everything he could.  Then he did a search by 'Miami' and downloaded everything there.  It wasn't much, but it'd be helpful.  Hopefully. By then, his buddy in computer crimes had been summoned over by Calliegh and he went to work on the site.  It earned their entire system a virus from someone, which created hopping blue and pink bunnies going across the screen and occasionally stopping to have sex, but that was fine with him.  At least they had more information now.

***

Xander walked into the twenty-seventh and smiled and nodded at Frannie.  "Is the Lieutenant in?"

"He is, but he's got a headache," she said plainly.  "Why?"

"Because I know something that'll make him feel a bit better."

"You do?  Better than Lupin the Fourth hitting a charity ball and then having all the jewelry go back into the charity's coffers after being sold?"

He nodded, smirking at her.  "Yes, actually I do."  He walked that way, tapping gently on the door and sticking his head in. "Authorize some vacation time," he said dryly, smirking at him.

"Huh?" Welsh asked, glaring at him.  "Those kids...."

Xander walked in and shut the door.  "Yeah, well, Warfield pissed them off, and so did Melissa's Aunt.  At least she gave it back to the charity, the kids could have kept it."

"Point, but not much of one," he said grimly.  "What's your news?"  He accepted the email he had printed off. Then he reread it, then stared up at him.  "Why?"

"To break the chain of support," he said patiently.  "I'm hoping for arrogant miscalculation."

"And you'll probably get it.  Who's left?"

"Zucko, some minor people.  I'm betting it's either going to be a small gang redistricting this next two weeks or it's going to be very quiet."

"I'm hoping for very quiet."

Xander smirked.  "I went to talk to a few people last night at one of the local clubs.  So are they.  They understood that while I'm here, things had better be quiet, safe, and peaceful.  If not, I'd have to split my attention and make them sorry."  He looked at the hat, then at him.  "Did you know this thing was worse than a boomerang?"

"Yeah, I've seen him use it that way before.  Is the serge really bulletproof and stain proof?"

"Not stain proof.  I had to clean off some eggs this morning.  It is easily washed in the sink however."  He smirked.  "So, better headache?"

"Much," he agreed.  "Your kids?"

"Left afterward.  Melissa wired the money from out of the city.  They're nearby in case Ishi or I need them, I know that without looking, but not too close."

"Fine, I'll take this like the gift from God it is," he agreed.  "Anything new?"

"Two different stores have sold those sort of bullets recently, that they've recorded.  The others are getting personal visits today by Ishi, who is now looking even less official and more like his father.  I don't know why he's wearing a kimono today, but apparently he was missing his dad."  He shrugged.  "I'm off to talk to some people myself, with Stanley if he'd ever get up.  He's still on Paris time.  He's snoring very loudly."  Welsh laughed at that.  "That and Stella made him drink last night for a bit.  Anything else I can do this morning, sir?"

"No, not yet," he offered.  "Go ahead and ask around.  They're used to Mountie interference by now."

Xander's head popped up.  "That was a shot," he said, hurrying outside.  He saw the guy on the roof and pulled his gun, firing at him.  The man yelled and grabbed his arm, hurrying off.  Xander put his hat back on and followed, but missed him since he had picked a different route off that building.  He walked back, going up to check on the area.  He found cops already up there, including Stanley, who was wearing dark sunglasses and not looking very happy.  "I got him in the arm," he reported.  "I heard him yelp, it's probably his first or second."

"We've got blood, fingerprints on the rifle, and other things," Stan offered in return.  "I'll get someone to call the hospitals and the local street docs."

"I'll get the less legal street docs," he agreed, heading off to talk to a few people he had met last night.  He walked up to the front of the strip club and looked at the bouncer, who only looked amused.  He took off his hat and the guy opened the door for him, no questions asked.  He walked inside, looking around the cheap place.  "Morning," he said firmly, making Frank Zucko jump and spill his coffee.  "I want word out on the streets that I just shot the person shooting at the twenty-seventh.  I got him in the arm."

"Who are you to demand?" Zucko asked dryly.

Xander looked around, then grabbed him by the throat, staring into his eyes.  "Who do I look like?  I'm Lavelle's younger brother."  He sneered and Zucko let out a small whimper.  "Now, I just shot the person trying for the twenty-seventh, I got him in the arm.  He held it and yelped.  He spilled a good bit of blood.  It would be his left upper arm.  Got it?"  He nodded quickly.  "Good.  You can have whoever tip me, Constable Turnbull, Inspector Thatcher, or Inspectors Kowalski or Vecchio.  Got it?"  He nodded again.  "Wonderful."  He released him.  "Thank you kindly."

"Not Fraser?" he gasped, rubbing his throat.

"I have issues with Constable Fraser that will have to be worked out among us.  Though no one had better touch Diefenbaker.  Lotus Goemon loves the little wolf."  He spun on his heel and walked out, smiling and nodding his head politely at the bouncer on the door.  "Thank you kindly."

"Welcome, Constable."  He looked him over.  "Which one are you?"

"Harris.  I'm in on special assignment about these horrible shootings.  Have you heard anything by chance?"

"No, Constable.  I haven't heard a thing," he offered. "If I do, who should I call?"

"Inspectors Vecchio and Kowalski are working with their former teammates and myself, Inspector Thatcher, and Constable Turnbull can be reached at the consulate.  I do believe Constable Fraser is taking a short vacation at the moment.  Something about Lotus Goemon wanting to steal his partner Diefenbaker."

"Which one is she?"

"Lotus?  Goemon's only daughter.  Just younger than the Fourteenth by a year.  Very powerful and very good, but a bit on the sweet side now and then, until you piss her off, then she becomes her father."  The bouncer chuckled at that.  "Thank you kindly."

"You're welcome.  Nice shot by the way."

Xander smirked.  "I'm compared to Lavelle's younger brother quite a lot."  He walked up the street, going to talk to someone else, a Crypt he knew hung up at the local corner.  "Good day."

"Constable," he said lazily, smirking at him.  "What's up?"

"I shot a man shooting at the twenty-seventh in the upper left arm.  I'd like to be notified if he goes to a street doc."

"Of course.  You or the cops?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  Thanks, man."

"Welcome.  Just please keep it down while I'm here," he said, shaking his hand, getting a laugh so he smirked in return.  "Tell me, is Zucko causing you many problems?"

"Not that many.  He's an old schooler, but he doesn't give respect like he should.  Others have complained and Warfield don't like him."

"Yay, I don't like either of them," Xander offered.  "They're a blight on the face of civil Chicago society.  Do you suppose they could be convinced to leave the city?"

"If anyone can, it'd be someone with some balls and some manners," he offered gently.  "Go for it, man, we'll cheer.  I'll even get my boys pom poms for ya."

"Thanks."  He punched fists with him then walked on, going to alert others that he may have a quiet solution already.  He got back to the precinct a few hours later and nodded politely at Stanley, who was sipping coffee and still had his sunglasses on.  "Did Dawn do a soul restoration on you yet?" he joked gently.

"Yeah, but it ain't worked yet," he complained, taking another sip.  "Way too much beer last night to forget her."

Xander leaned down.  "Remember, you have someone better who loves every part of you, even the geeky parts."  Stan smirked at that.  "Have you called her yet?"  He nodded.  "Good boy, Inspector.  I did get the word out that he may be found among the street docs.  The Crypts have been most helpful to me recently.  They promised to cheerlead if I could make some unmannerly people change their ways or their vocations, or possibly their addresses."

"That's a nightmare image," Stanley complained.  "Those guys in cheerleader costumes.  Like in the Nirvana video."

Xander smirked.  "Good point.  Think we could talk Lupin the Fourth into wearing one of those to her next convention?"

"Maybe," he agreed dryly.  "It'd suit her.  She is a pimple on the buttcheek of the world."

"I'll tell her you said that the next time I run into her," he said sweetly, heading into the office.  "Lieutenant," he said, saluting him.  "I've taken the liberty of talking to some people who can get word among the underground medical community.  I did give a brief description of the injury so as to aid finding him."

"Well done, Constable.  Word has also reached us that you went to visit Frankie Zucko?"

"Well, yes, sir, he would know some of the underground medical community since some of them do treat his people.  I thought it only logical.  Besides, it's always good to make new friends," he said with a small grin.  "I didn't think my comparison to his brother would bother anyone."

"He has a brother?"

"He does.  He's just younger than Sylvia, has dark hair, and likes to wear outrageous clothes, like Hawaiian shirts and really loose jeans.  Pisses his brother off big time when he does that."

"I see."  He smirked at him.  "Interesting.  Thank you for telling me about that when asked."

"You're welcome.  I didn't think anyone here would mind either."

"No, no, we're a pretty tolerant bunch.  You being the brother of a gunman works for us."

"I figured someone might notice the name."

"Yeah, someone did.  Called Vecchio, who referred it back to Kowalski, who said that you'd explain."

"It's a family thing," he said happily.  "We're all good shots, just look at Sylvia."

"I wasn't thinking of her, but she is supposedly very good at shooting things as well.  Just like her daughter is.  How is Melissa anyway?"

"Haven't heard from her today.  Why?  Was she injured during her heist last night?"

"Minor graze from a bodyguard, but she basically killed his future by ruining his pretty face with her studded gloves."

"Hmm, the electronics must be broken in those again.  Usually they're used to send electro pulses through something to disrupt it, like cameras and computers."

Welsh stared at him.  "Interesting.  How did she dream that up?"

He smirked.  "Her mother and uncle have hired someone to create gadgets for them, help turn their own inventions into practical reality, and they also occasionally go copy plans from people who make those neat things.  That one is one of her mother's inventions that he helped do the plans for."

"Very interesting.  Huh."  He looked impressed.  "Can you maybe declare Chicago to be a city safe from those kids someday soon?"

Xander smirked.  "It's not like there's much here for them, Lieutenant.  The younger group is more jewels, artwork, and proof jobs at the moment."

"Fine, I'll let others know.  Just ask Lupin the Fourth, okay?"

"Sure.  I'll email her later," he agreed dryly.  He smiled at the detective leaning in.  "Yes, Detective?  Is there news?"

"The shooter was seen at one of the local fixing people's places but he escaped before anyone could get to him.  They reported that his injury was severe and he'd have to go to ground for a few days, just to rest."

"Even better. It gives us time to set up ways to find him faster, before he can take his next shot," Xander decided.  "Thank you kindly."

"You're welcome, Constable.  Um," he said, walking in and shutting the door.  "Who are you?"

"Constable Harris."

"I know that.  You look really familiar."

"He's Lavelle's little brother," Welsh said dryly.  "He should if you do your homework on the ten most wanted lists."

"No wonder you work with Stanley and Ray," he said, getting it.  "I know they know Lavelle."

"Lavelle likes to go to the same conventions and Inspector Kowalski always does the proper thing by taping any and all conversations and meetings they have during it.  I believe Interpol has decided to build their knowledge base about the group since the second group is now active and they're short on inspectors at the moment."

"Do you work with them?"

"No, it would be rather awkward to chase after my brother, or my nieces and nephews."  The detective blanched.  "Melissa is the daughter of Sylvia, our sister, and Lavelle did have a great hand in raising the others.  Though most of the time I do find them rather amusing.  The girls get so frustrated when the older men in crime discount them due to their sex.  Then events like at the charity ball happen and Lupin the Fourth walks off cackling in glee."

"She's some thief," he congratulated.

"She is, and she also got very good marks at the Assassin's Academy, which is a school for the underworld in Italy.  Melissa and Goemon the Fourteenth took top honors with Lotus being right behind them by two points.  Lupin did get good marks, but about ten points below those two."

"So, the kid who was helping you is really smart too?" he asked.

Xander smirked and nodded.  "Definitely.  It's a favor situation.  We will need to deal with some of the underground elements and better to have him do it than Lupin the Fourth, who would piss them off for fun and games."  He winked at the Lieutenant.  "One of the Dons once asked her why she wasn't off playing and she said she was, she was playing with his head, and it was one of her favorite games during a general meeting."

The detective laughed and nodded.  "I can see that.  Can you maybe ask her to leave us alone here in Chicago?  We don't have the targets she'd like.  She's what, eighteen? She should be hitting LA and Hong Kong."

"She hates LA, it holds too many memories for her father, Lavelle, and Sylvia, and she's only sixteen, detective.  She's been doing the work since she was eight.  Then again, she has been to Hong Kong twice so far this year.  Once for a meeting and once for a job."

"Wow," he said.  "Sixteen?"  Xander nodded.  "They're just kids!"

"From what I heard, Lavelle and Lupin did try to hold the children back but Arsene's first job was to sneak off and do a gem show that was upstairs from a convention.  Inspector Kowalski was there at that convention and had to deal with the aftermath I believe."

"Don't remind me," Stanley called.  He walked into the office.  "Lupin the Fourth's still a kid, but she's a mean kid.  Then again she's also a very thoughtful kid.  She likes Ray's Ma so she goes to check on her now and then since she moved to Italy.  Ray's Ma knows who she is and all that, but she doesn't mind, calls her a thoughtful child since she reports back to Ray and fixes anything that she may need.  Someone was botherin' the family a few months back and Arsene came down like tha hand'a God on 'em for botherin' his Ma and the family.  Then she merrily skipped off for ice cream and a coke."

"From what I heard she called while she was having her sundae and told her it would be okay now and that those poor, unmannerly people would be leaving the family alone for good, or else.  Then she grinned and asked after the newest grandchild."

"How do you put up with them?" the detective asked Stanley.

"It's not hard.  They're neat and nice and kinda goofy, and it's real easy to like Lavelle and most of 'em.  Even Ishi, who's shot us in the past.  But they're really easy to like and comfortable to be around and then they'll do somethin' and go back ta bein' nice and easy and comfortable to be around.  Ishi said he understood why we were trying to capture the higher group the last time he shot us and then grinned and pointed out that at least he's a good shot.  He only wounded us in ways that'd make us ache in a few years."

"They've got plans to help Zenigata retire too," Xander said dryly.  "They're going to throw him a massive party, and then make sure he gets to really stay home for a bit."

"Those kids are dangerous," the other detective complained.

"Yes and no," Xander told him.  "Yes, they are dangerous when they want to be.  Most of the time they don't want to be unless they're actively working on a job.  The rest of the time they're neat little rich kids with odd hobbies who like to flirt, tease, go clubbing, go to comic conventions, and do a lot of traveling."

"The same as Lavelle is," Stanley agreed dryly, frowning at the constable.  "So, how was Zucko?"

"Most cooperative once I showed him a good reason to be," he noted dryly.  "Me being who I am did wonders for his desire to help us in this time.  Then again, he may be joining nearly everyone else in taking a sudden vacation."

"Not that we'd mind," Stanley said dryly, "but what did you go to him for?"

"To get the word out for the underground medical community.  From the information I've gathered so far, he is known to use them almost exclusively for his men, so therefore he would know some of them."

Stanley grunted at that.  "Fine, just be your mannerly self and it'll be fine."

"I believe he may have gotten the impression that I was my brother, but we all can see I don't have silver hair."

"What caused that?" Welsh asked.

"Unholy radiation," Xander said dryly, staring him down.  "Inspector Kowalski knows all about it, sir, but I'm not allowed to divulge that information."

"I sweat ta God, don't make me explain that stuff ta them," he complained.

"What stuff?" the other detective asked.

"Lavelle's been known to hunt the....um, non-human community now and then," Xander said carefully.  "The silver hair is due to one of them who hurt him."

"Ah.  I don't believe in that stuff."

"Neither did I but God that's a bad thought," he said suddenly, looking at Xander.  They were usually on the same wavelength.  Xander stared back and shook his head.  "Not a possibility?"

"No.  Sorry. I don't have the local contacts for that outside of that one place and I doubt they'd like to help since he's always hitting in the daylight."

"Point," Stanley agreed, frowning a bit.  "Still....  Maybe they can track him from the doc?"

"I'll have my protege put it around tonight to see if they will."

"Thank you, Constable," Welsh said.  "What's your first name?"

"Al."

"All right, Al, thank you," he repeated, looking up at him.  He just got a goofy grin in response.  "You should probably check in with Thatcher."

"I'm checking in once each day, at the close of business.  I'm providing a taped report of my duties and my actions during the day so she can upload them into a very nice file for our superiors.  That way she's got a chronological account of what's happened this time and no one can fault her for loopholes and the like."

"Wow, you're really efficient," the other detective offered.  "Just hand her the tape?"

"Yes, it's easier.  Yesterday, after the meetings and briefing Inspector Vecchio, I handed the tape to Constable Turnbull because it was rather late."  He nodded politely, having seen Ishi coming up the stairs.  "If you'll excuse me for a moment."  He walked out there, going to talk to his Godson.  "Anything good come of your morning?"

"Quite, including having remind people that you're his *brother* since Frank Zucko appeared to lose his mind slightly and get you two confused."  He arched an eyebrow up.  "By the way, he's desiring a meeting with Inspector Vecchio.  I told him if he did, I'd be there and that upset him greatly.  Then again, he's presently praying heavily in the church of his choice."  He handed over his notes.  "I'd say it's the second place on the list.  He's sold more than a box of the bullets.  "I'd also say that Warfield probably had a clue since he owns the shop through a cousin.  He's still in town but he did allow most everyone to leave if they were scared.  By the way, a great many of his people were caught in Miami at the airport and he's quite rightly blaming you and Inspector Vecchio for that maneuver.  He said it was unsporting of you."

"Yay," Xander said dryly, reading over the notes.  "What about this last place?"

"Closed, very closed, but not out of business closed.  They still have stock and everything inside but the locals hanging out on the street say the guy's been sick for about a month and it's only him running the business.  I'm going to stop in on him later this afternoon as a courtesy and ask him some delicate questions about who might have bought this particular brand of bullets and if anyone had access to his stock and keys while he was ill."  Xander nodded at that, grinning at him.  "Also, Melissa said to tell you she's fine.  Her arm was just a scratch.  Yes, she broke the wiring in the gloves when she hit him.  She said dad's got to upgrade the wiring in them but she might let the elder Lupin handle that now and then."  He pulled him closer. "Speaking of, Lupin the Second is dead, right?"  Xander nodded quickly. "You're sure?  Absolutely positive?"  He nodded again.  "Then why did I see someone who looked just like him in the park?  He even gave me a startled look when he saw me."

"Could it have been the Third in disguise?"

"No, too many old person characteristics.  The slump in the shoulders, the small curve of the spine, the wrong walk, and it wasn't quite that close to him.  It looked like the painting of his father, only aged forty years."

"I don't know.  He'd have to be about a hundred if it was him."  He considered it.  "Consider it a secondary target, Ishi, and figure that out."

"Yes, Constable."  He smirked at him.  "So, uncle...."

"You know very well you can call me Al.  We might as well be related."

"Fine, Uncle Al.  Anything else I can do today?  I saw the hottest little club for tonight."

"Go, have fun, enjoy being seventeen.  Thank you, Ishi."

"Welcome."  He turned and trotted off, going to do a bit of minor shopping and ask around about that old guy.  It was going to bother him until he did.

Xander walked back into the office.  "There's a bit of new news.  Ishi just showed back up.  He thinks it's the second store in his notes, but the last one has an ill and absent owner so he was going to question him later to see if anyone's had access to the store."  He handed it over.  "It's also owned by one of Warfield's cousins.  How did that man get out of jail?"

"Technicality.  He appealed and got the major things overturned," Stanley said bitterly.  "People down in Organized Crime are waiting and salivating for him to mess up again."  He looked at him.  "Why did Melissa hit the idiot when she had on those shock gloves?"

"I don't know but Ishi said she said that she broke the wiring.  That she's giving them to the elder Lupin to fix this time."

Stanley snorted.  "Wonderful."  He rolled his eyes and looked up.  "Why me?"

"Because they like you, Inspector.  Think about how short your life would have been without them."

"Point," he admitted dryly.

"Huh?" Welsh asked, looking confused.  "He does what?"

"Lavelle's got this thing about cops he respects," Stanley told him.  "Ray and I are cops he respects because of how we do the job.  Myron's another one.  There's a tech in Miami who gets the same respect too."  He shrugged.  "So he watches out for us if things start to go really bad.  My sixth week over there and there's a knock on the apartment door.  Open it and it's this scuzzy serial killer we've been chasing around Paris for a few weeks.  Nasty troll of a guy who don't walk upright part of the time.  Real thrill killer with extra fun sort."  The lieutenant shudders.  "So he knocks on the door, points a gun in my face, and says 'back up'.  Now, Ray's not home yet...."

"You guys shared a spot?"

"Yeah, nice place.  Way cheaper than it was here ta live.   Anyway, it's me and Diefenbaker at home at the moment.  I came home early with a blinding headache.  This guy's pushing me into the apartment and giving me this look like I'm going to be his next bit'a fun.  The freak.  Anyway, he walks me inside, starts to taunt me like.  The next thing I know, Ray and our SWAT team are bustin' in the door.  Lavelle called Ray to tell him that he saw the guy going into our place.  Six weeks later, Ray's trapped in a shootout with a violent drug gang.  Someone takes out the sniper from across the rooftops."

"That wasn't Lavelle," Xander told him simply.

"Who was it?"

"Jigen."

"Oh.  Well, tell him Ray said thanks anyway."

"He knew."  He smirked and winked at him.  Then looked at the lieutenant.  "There's not many cops that Lavelle respects for the way they do the job.  These two are some of his favorites because they're still trying to do more than kill him.  They're actually building a plan to capture him.  They're thinking instead of just reacting with a gun."

"I'll remember that," Welsh offered.  "Does your brother bug their place too?"

"All the time," Stanley said dryly, hitting Xander on the arm. "Where's the newest one?"

"I believe he had me drop one into the couch cushions the day I joined you."

"Before that one."

"Um, I don't remember," he said, his face scrunching up.  "Um....oh, painting."

"Painting?  That textural thing?"  Xander nodded.  Stanley hit himself on the head.  "Thanks, Al."

"Welcome, Stan."  Stanley hit him again on the arm.  "Ow!  You're a mean bastard today.  I'm going to go lock the minibar on you."

"No horseplay in uniform," Thatcher said from behind them.

"Sorry, ma'am.  He's very easy to like and I forgot myself."

"That's fine."  She walked in and handed Welsh his copy of the tape.  "Here, his daily reports."

"He said he was handing them over around the close of business every day."

"It's quite handy," she agreed, looking at her temporary employee.  "It's also quite nice that he did not inform us of who his brother was."  She glared at him.  "I had to find out through someone talking to Constable Turnbull?"

"Sorry, Inspector, I thought you would have been told."

"No, I hadn't, but that's fine.  I can deal with that.  Constable Turnbull took this message from a street snitch for you."  She handed over the folded paper.  "Why are they tipping us?"

"Because you're probably going to be shot at more often, Inspector.  This appears to deal with the precincts Inspector Kowalski was formerly stationed."  Stanley gaped at him.  "The seventeenth.  The second.  The eighth?"

"All my former posts.  Which means that the fourteenth would be in there somewhere, I was undercover through them," he said thoughtfully.  "What about Ray?"

"He basically only served here," Welsh admitted.  "He did a short stint at the second if I remember right and the, um, nineteenth if I remember correctly did his first detective year."

"So unless he breaks that pattern and heads for somewhere other than one of those two, we'll be able to see which detective he's after and then go from there as another method to reach who it was," Xander offered.  "By the way, Inspector, in my daily report today will be a set of notes about where the bullets likely came from."

"That's fine.  You're very methodical."

"It's not what I usually do but I have had to investigate in the past," he offered with a small grin.  "It's a nice change from the usual."

"Excellent.  Then I'll want daily updates just as methodically approached at the close of business each day.  As I walk out the door is fine, or to Turnbull if you're running a bit late.  Did you need any more help?"

"No, Inspector.  How is Constable Turnbull?  Did his morning guard session go all right?"

"Just fine and we did provide him with a slightly bigger jacket to hide the vest.  It's very nice.  Where did you get it?"

"Japan.  It's a new alloy they're putting on tanks.  It's already stopped seven bullets coming for me personally."

"I see.  Quite nice.  Also, Turnbull said you had seen the new embassy in Japan?"

"I have.  They've just finished and I took the tour with a few other people.  It's got very pretty grounds.  I suggested Turnbull would find it lovely if he wanted to do a temporary change of location for a few weeks.  Their top people are on maternity leave."

"I hadn't heard.  If he desires, I can lend them Turnbull for a few weeks I suppose.  Cherry trees?"

"Were in blossom right when it opened but by now the maples are starting to get very leafy.  It's got a wonderful set of grounds to walk on, nearly parklike.  Reminded me a lot of the manor in Vancouver that my brother owns."

"Ah.   I see.  Then I'll think about offering them Turnbull for a few weeks.  Thank you."

"Sometimes a change is as good as a vacation for the soul," he said with a slight grin.  "Makes you appreciate what you have at home."

"All too true," Stanley agreed.  "It was amazing, I turned on the tv and there were sports everywhere."

Thatcher smirked at him.  "Don't get much beyond soccer in Paris, Inspector?"

"Not really, and that's pretty spotty most'a the time."  He scratched the back of his head and yawned.  "Sorry, long night."

"Not a problem.  Working on this joint problem as quickly as possible is of benefit to all parties involved."  She nodded.  "I'll listen, copy, then send over the copy," she told Welsh.

"That's fine.  I'm getting verbal updates by the hour with him being here most of the time."

"That's fine.  Thank you, lieutenant.  Constable, Inspector," she said with a nod, getting a salute from one and a grin from the other.  She headed out, going back to her car and the consulate.  She found Fraser standing duty and his jacket was properly covering the vest.  "Good job, Constable.  I can't tell that you're wearing it."  She walked inside and looked at Turnbull.  "Did you want to visit Japan?"

"I wouldn't mind, Inspector, if they needed me.  I'd hate to be a bother."

"No, quite a few foreign posts get requests like this so their people can get working vacations.  We don't because we're here, but I know Paris and London do."  She went to call that consulate, asking them if they needed help.  It would be good for Turnbull, he might find a bit more polish and culture among another set of peoples.  Plus having another Inspector drill him rigorously in protocol would also help him.

***

Ishi found the man he was looking for back in that same park and sat beside him, looking in the same direction.  "So, how did you supposedly die again?"

"Who are you?  You look familiar."

"I'm Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth.  I work with Lupin the Fourth."  The old man looked at him. "Who is a girl," he admitted with a shy grin, looking over at him.  "I trained under Lupin the Third and his crew, along with my father."

"I see."  He looked the young man over.  "You do look a good bit like your father."

"I do," he agreed, "but my sister looks even more like him when she scowls.  I can't properly scowl."  The old man laughed, coughing a bit.  Ishi patted him on the back.  "Your son thinks you're dead."

"I know.  I wanted it that way.  I found a reason to leave the life, though she's left me now."  He looked at his hands, then at the young man.  "You know how to contact him?"

"I do.  I have his cellphone on speeddial.  He's one of my favorite uncles.  Helped give me my first bath and everything."  The old man smiled at that.  "You should see your granddaugther, sir.  She is a pisser."

"I have no doubt.  A girl carrying the name though?"

"The will said he had to have an heir, not that it had to be male.  So he had her come into being and then he was given full custody of her due to the mother's family getting upset at who the father was."

"Ah.  I've seen that in the past.  We used to send those kids to orphanages in my day."  He stood up.  "Come home with me."

"Sure."  He took the older man's arm, walking him off since he looked so unsteady.  He drove them back to the apartment, helping the older man inside and up the stairs.  Once up there he hitched the speaker he carried to the house phone and dialed the number from his cell.  "Uncle Lupin?" he asked.

"Nah, it's me, Ishi," Jigen said fondly.  "You okay?"

"Just fine, but there's someone here who needs to speak to him.  How's Melissa's arm?"

"Fine.  Isn't it?"

"Slight graze.  Oh, and she broke the electro gloves.  Tell Uncle Lupin he'll probably be getting them to fix this time."

"Sure.  Hey, Lupin!" Jigen yelled.  "Phone!  It's Ishi.  Call later, Ishi, just to check in."

"Yes, sir."

"Ishi?" Lupin asked.

"No, young man, I am not," his father said firmly.

"Dad!"

"Yes, son, it's me."

"But...but...but you're dead!"

"No, son, I found a reason to move on," he said simply.

"Oh.  Okay.  Where are you?"

"Here."

"Trace the number, Uncle, I'm on his house phone," Ishi said patiently. "We're in Chicago."

"I'm out in Deerfield.  We'll be in tonight.  Address, Ishi?"

Ishi looked at him and the old man smirked.  "He said I can't, uncle.  You have to find him."

"Fine.  Let me start the trace."  The old man hung up.

Ishi giggled.  "You're just like him sometimes."

"I'd hope my son had better qualities than I did.  It took a good woman to make me right in the head and the heart."

"He's got some good people around him and the rest is a really long story he'll have to tell.  I was too young for part of it."

"That's fine.  He'll be here when?"

"Probably within three hours.  Need me to take you shopping?"

"Sure.  I could always use some beer."

***

Jigen and Goemon both stiffened when Lupin said 'dad', looking at each other.  Jigen pulled out the car keys and headed outside to warm up the car, while Goemon went to pack him a few snacks, just in case it was a longer trip.  Lupin came out of the office and Goemon handed the bag over.  "For your lunch."

Lupin looked confused for a minute.  "Thanks, Goemon.  Um, Jigen?"

"The car's getting warmed up for you."

"Even better."  He walked that way, no longer stomping.  It was the little things that showed you care.  He opened the door and Jigen got out, handing him his spare pack of cigarettes.  "Thanks, man.  I'll need 'em."  He got in to drive, taking off once the door was closed.  This was just too odd.  Really weird.  This was Lavelle and Xander weird.  Hell, this was worse than Sylvia weird.  Or even Imperial Dragon weird.  He had no idea what was going on but he was freaking out mentally.  He lit the first cigarette and took a heavy hit off it, calming himself down.  Ishi was with him.  The old man wouldn't leave before he got some answers.

***

Xander looked up as Stanley leaned over the desk he was using and whispered in his ear.  He nodded and looked up.  "It seems his father's in town and has been for a while now.  Unknown to the son."

"Really?  He'd be what?  Dumbledore's age?"

"Not quite. Probably in his nineties.  Ishi found him earlier this morning and asked me about him.  I gave him permission to look into the matter and then tell the son."

"That's fine.  He won't cause no trouble, right?"

"Not a bit.  He'll be too freaked by this to want to."

"Good.  We don't need more trouble."  He went back to his report writing.  He still owed Zenigata about seven of them and that's what he was working on.  He heard heavy, but lightly tapping footsteps outside and leaned back.  "In here, Turnbull."  He walked in and smiled handing Xander a note with a short nod.  "You okay?"

"Yes, quite.  Constable Harris has suggested that the consulate in Japan could use a temporary guard and I was most delighted to be told it hadn't been filled.  So I'll be heading over there for the next three weeks starting tomorrow night.  It's most exciting."

"It is," Xander agreed, grinning at him.  "I'll take you to the bookstore later to help you find a good dictionary and to tell you where to go shopping on the maps we'll find."  Turnbull smiled at that. "You'll have fun.  I always do."

"You go for the comic convention that they won't let you cosplay at," Stanley said dryly.

"Yeah, and for the comic and anime companies and the artist's convention and a few other things," he said dryly.  "Including some of my training."

"You speak Japanese?"

"I do, fluently, though I did have to take lessons from a street tough in Tokyo to learn how to swear properly.  My teacher was most upset that I was too polite."  Stanley gave him a look so he said what he once did that made Jigen have a headache: it is tough eliminating from the body.   Stanley snickered.  "That made him take me to find someone to teach me how to say it properly."

"What did you just say?" Detective Huey asked.

"The very polite version of ...."  Turnbull coughed so he leaned over to whisper what he had said, making him crack up.  "Hence me taking lessons in proper swearing.  As an associate once remarked, each city's got its own way of saying bugger off."

Turnbull was blushing but he was chuckling as well. "I'll remember that, constable.  When's a good time for you?"

"Um, after your shift is fine.  Inspector Kowalski?"

"Not a thing tonight unless that note's better info."

Xander opened it to look at it, then smirked.  "No, just another version of what you told me."  He looked at Turnbull.  "His father's here, he thought he was dead."

"Ah.  I had wondered."  He smiled at him.  "Then tonight?  After shift?"

"That's fine," he agreed.  "I can even help you make reservations at a decent place if you're not staying at the embassy itself."

"That would be nice, thank you, Constable."  He nodded politely.  "I'll see you then.  I'd best get back.  Constable Fraser should be about ready to go to lunch and I've got guard duty this afternoon."  He hurried off, heading back to the consulate.

Stan looked at him.  "He's a nice guy."

"He is," Xander agreed.  "Very eager, very smart but hiding it very well, and very nice. He'll go far with the way he can play the bureaucratic game."

"He can?" Huey asked.  "Turnbull?"

"Yes, Turnbull.  He's not the simple little guy you guys expect.  He's actually quite intelligent about security systems.  Asked me all sorts of technical questions when we were putting the new ones on the consulate."  He smiled at him.  "He's also young, so therefore not expected to be an expert at anything yet.  This is only his second or third posting."

"Why did he get banished here?" Stanley asked.  "It seems like Canada uses this one like the Feds use Iowa and Idaho."

"I'm not sure, but I'm sure it was nothing more than a social gaffe.  He's from a good family, and he's got excellent manners, but I'm not sure."  He shrugged.  "He likes it here."

"He does," Stan agreed.  "He's made it his home."  He looked at Huey, then at Xander.  "Go question that perp for him.  He's bein' stubborn."

"Of course.  Which room?" he asked the detective.  He got up and led him to the room where his prisoner was stewing in the heat.  "Oh, dear, air conditioning out?" he asked as he walked inside.  He took off his hat, running his hands through his hair.  "Hello, Constable Albert Harris," he said with a fond smile.

"Harris?"

"Yes, Harris.  I'm sure you know someone with that name?  Perhaps someone a bit more famous than most of the thugs you deal with?"

"You know Sylvia?"

"I'm her little brother."  He smiled coldly.  "As you can see, I am a Mountie, and I am on special assignment, but they did want to know if you would talk to me instead of Detective Huey.  Would you be so kind?"

"No," he snorted, turning his head away.  Xander grabbed his chin and forced his face back around.  "Hey!  You can't torture me!"

"Am I?"  He smiled sweetly and the man started to sweat.  "While my brother did teach me all about what he does, and what Sylvia does when she's not being the mother figure to Lupin the Fourth and her crew, it's not really the Mountie way, sir."  He added pressure to the pressure point under his thumb, making the man gag.  "Oh, terribly sorry.  I know that reflex is terribly strong in some people."  He backed off.  "Now then, what are you in here for?"

"What brother?"

"You didn't know Sylvia and Lavelle are siblings?  Which makes them my siblings?" he asked gently, smirking at him, quirking an eyebrow up ever so subtly.

"Oh, shit," he sighed, shaking his head.  "You're *that* Mountie?"  He nodded, smiling heartily now.  "Yeah, well, the guy you want is on West Racine somewhere.  He's mad at you guys for corrupting the uncorruptable."

"Interesting.  I had wondered about his motives.  Do you know a name perhaps?"

"No.  Sorry, all I know is that he's on West Racine somewhere and that he liked Constable Fraser, looked up to the guy before he left for Interpol."

"I see.  Thank you kindly.  Now about why you're in here?"

"Cut me a deal?"

"That would be up to Detective Huey."  They both looked at him and he smirked.

"That depends on what you tell us.  You know that."

"Yeah, sure, fine.  Whatcha wanna know?" he sighed, putting his feet up.  "I've got all day but I'm sure you're needin' ta get back to being a jack booted thug."

"No I think you'll find that's motorcycle cops.  That's their sort of boots.  Most detectives wear dress shoes that they don't want to get dirty," Xander corrected gently.  "His are nicely polished and of very good leather with weak laces."  The crook looked, then looked at him.  "Therefore detectives can't really do the 'kicking in doors' things that they show on American tv.  It takes officer's shoes, or indeed Mountie boots to do so.  That's one of the reasons why we wear boots, beyond the snow that is."  The crook looked at his and swallowed.  "I see you've seen reason.  Detective Huey, did you need more help?"

"No, Constable, thank you," he said with a nice smile, shaking his hand.  "It's nice to have one of you around more often."

"Not a problem, I live to serve and protect."  He nodded.  "Good day, gentlemen."  He walked back to his desk, going back to his searching.  "Stanley?" he called quietly.  Stan came out of the office.  "He lives on West Racine and he had a mentor/hero worship feeling for a certain Constable."

"You're kidding," Welsh said flatly.  Xander shook his head.  "Said who?"

"Said the guy he just went in ta help Huey with," Stanley said dryly.  "Well, that narrows it down some.  Following in his footsteps too."  He grimaced.  "We need Ray."

"Should I go retrieve him?"

"Please.  Carry his big, heavy butt here if he's done complainin'."  He went back into the office.

Xander saluted the lieutenant. "I'll be back in approximately twenty-seven minutes should he be dressed, or thirty-eight should he need to change."  He walked out, pulling out the keys to his car and heading that way.  He let the valet take the car.  "I'll be right back," he offered, tipping him before heading inside.  The elevator ride was fast but not quite that fast.  He walked out of the elevator and found Ishi listening at the door.  "He having problems?"

"No, he's talking to someone."  He straightened up.  "I didn't want to interrupt."

"Unfortunately there's been a call for him to appear at the station," he said, tapping gently.  "Inspector."  The door opened after a few minutes.  "Ah, Inspector, Inspector Kowalski requests your presence now.  It appears this has more to do with another Constable than not."

"Huh?  Hold on, Maria.  What?" he asked, looking confused.

"The man held a certain Mountie in high regard before he traveled to Interpol."

"Oh, crap," he sighed.  "Yeah, let me put on a shirt."  He listened to his sister laugh.  "What?  I've been in the room all day.  This broken ankle business is killin' me."  He grinned.  "Love ya too, and I'll pop down sometime soon since I'm on leave.  Sure.  Kiss the babies for me but smack the husband."  He smiled.  "Later."  He hung up.  "Sorry, Tony refused to go fix the roof today but her oldest son did a good job."

"Excellent.  Carpentry is an honorable field and one that's usually easy to get into."  He smiled at him.  "I do know of a set of tools going to rust if you needed some."

"Nah, he's a smart kid.  I want him doing something with that instead of his hands. Something that won't make him upset at the day's end."

"I find that the completion rush once something you've built is finished is much more satisfying than the daily grind at any office," Ishi offered.

Ray looked at him.  "True," he admitted.  "But I still want him somewhere he won't get hurt."

"People shoot up offices all the time plus there's the stress," Ishi reminded him.

"Letting him do something he loves, even if it's menial or he doesn't do it well, makes up for all the negatives of most jobs," Xander told him.  "I had that with carpentry for a while.  Shall we?  Traffic's light so we'll make it back quickly."  He kissed Ishi on the side of the head.  "Thank you for helping your godfather earlier today.  I've been told he's already in town."

"They're in Deerfield if you need 'em," Ishi offered.  "I'm going to watch soaps."  He went into their suite and plopped down in front of the tv.

Ray came out shaking his head.  "Those girls have ruined him."

"Not really.  His father watches them now and then too.  It's almost the only thing on in the afternoons during nap time."  He waited while Ray locked his door then helped him down to the car, smiling at the valet and tipping him again.  "Thank you kindly."  He got Ray settled in and came around to drive, heading back to the station.  He slowly pulled in and looked around since there were so many officers outside.  "Problems?" he asked.

Ray looked.  "Smoke break before afternoon briefing."  He got out and let Xander help him inside, smiling at the cops who greeted him.  "Yeah, I'm back for a few more days," he offered.  "Just injured, again."  He hobbled up the stairs with help and his sister squealed, hugging him.  "Easy!" he complained.  "Maria's son just had ta fix the roof.  Tony wouldn't."

"Smack him for me," she said firmly.  "Constable, Thatcher is in the office."

"That's fine, we're heading that way anyway," he said with a slight smile for her.  "You can have him back in a minute."  He walked Ray that way, tapping gently before opening the door and helping Ray into a chair.  "There we are, one more Inspector."  He saluted his superior.  "Inspector Thatcher, new news?"

"Constable Fraser was taken from his post," she said calmly.  "Did you have a tracking device on that vest?"

"I do," he admitted. "It's down in the car.  Let me get that other case."  He headed down there, popping the trunk and pulling the weapons case out.  He relocked it and walked back inside, smiling and nodding at the cop who held the door for him.  "Thank you kindly," he called back, heading up the stairs.  Frannie gave him an odd look.  "What?"

"Luggage?"

"Weapons and electronics case," he told her.  "I never travel that lightly.  People depend on me that way."  He headed into the office and shut the door, putting the case on the floor and opening it up.  Stanley gaped at what was inside.  Xander found the monitor and pulled it out, handing it over.  "It's an older model so may have been found by a more modern detector," he offered. Stanley and Welsh continued to gape.  "What?  I've got permits, people.  They're not hard to get in the US."

"Put that on the desk, Constable, so we can all see," Welsh ordered.

Xander lifted it and released the front panel as well, opening the case up fully.  "It's my traveling case for weapons and electronics."

"Dear God, it's an arsenal," Thatcher said quietly.  "Everything but the sniper rifle."  Xander pulled out two trays and exposed the take-apart rifle.  "Never mind."

"Is that...specially made?" Ray asked.  "We could use that when we have to chase people around the world."

"No, I got it in Germany from an underground movement supply shop. They deal with terrorists and white supremacists and people who belong to 'ist' groups."  He found the card and handed it over.  "It's very handy and they can custom the interior for you.  I do assure you, I have permits for all of this."

"Including the explosive?" Stan asked.

Xander dug around in the top fabric compartment, coming out with his permits and handing them over.  "You can check.  If not, I'll gladly hand it over.  I can always make more," he noted.  He smiled at Thatcher.  "Sometimes I have to travel with a minimum of bags.  It's this, my briefcase, and my carryon with clothes."

"I see.  That's very handy...Constable."  She looked it over.  "Turnbull would go insane for that.  He likes spy gear apparently."

"He's quite good and he did drool a bit when I had to get the extra monitor out of here."

"Can you use all those?" Welsh asked.  Xander gave him a look.  "Never mind.  What're you carrying right this moment?"

"Hmm."  Xander started to unload. "My usual long distance carry," he said as he put it on the desk.  "Two spare clips," he offered as he put them onto the desk beside it.  "A knife, a specially blessed dagger, and ooh, a bobby pin," he said as he emptied the other pocket.  He patted down his chest, undoing his buttons to show off his new vest, and the small pockets sewn onto it.  "Money, cards, ID's, um, more spare bullets," he offered, putting those down next to the gun.  He patted his legs down and put the knife from inside his boot onto the table.  Then he checked his back waistband.  "There it is, my short distance carry."  He looked at the lieutenant and smiled. "They're well made but my short distance doesn't have the range to be one of the bad boys on the block, sir."

"At least you're honest about it," he said dryly. "Put that up.  You are allowed to carry concealed?"  Stanley nodded, waving that permit.  "Thank you.  Who gave you those?"

"Cleveland."  He put everything back, checking the money and the ID pouches.  "Have to refill that one," he noted, checking his wallet as well.  "That as well.  ATM?"

"Downstairs, by the front desk," Ray told him dryly.  Xander finished putting everything back and then headed down there.  He shook his head.  "Some days, he's like a little kid in a candy store."

Stan put the folder back and looked over the case.  "Two boxes of bullets, a revolver, I'm guessing for Jigen in case, seven automatics, a pound of C-4, a timer, a detonator cap, some wires, that rifle, a set of electronic's tools...."

"That's in case a gadget breaks down. Most practical applications in the field would need heavier cutters than those," Xander said as he walked back in.  "Out of order."  He closed the door.  "You know my field kit is a fanny pack, Stan."

"I do," he agreed dryly, going back to looking.  "A bypass switch with leads, a few batteries, a small scope," he checked it out the window, "high powered with night vision, and oooh, there's the spare comic book and pictures for when you've got to wait."  He let Xander put everything back in place and close it up again, putting it back onto the floor.  "How heavy is that?"

"Lightening spell," Xander said smugly.  "Five pounds. It's x-ray proof too."

"Smug bastard," Ray complained.  "So, they're after Fraser.  Anything on the monitor?"

Xander turned it on for Thatcher, getting an odd look but she did look.  "Looks like the docks."  He checked and nodded.  "Why?"

"That means they either took the vest off him and tossed it or the bug and tossed it," Xander told her.  He hit a few switches and smiled.  "They just found the bug.  So let's track the old fashioned way."  He called Ishi.  "Someone took your fun.  Know where?"  He wrote down the address.  "You're sure? Thanks, kid."  He handed it to Thatcher.  "They entered this building together and Fraser was not handcuffed, tied up, or otherwise being detained.  He was being pulled by the arm however and the gentleman with him did have a gun."

"Whose fun?" Welsh asked.

"That kid who's helpin' him is Geomon the Fourteenth," Stan told him.  "The one Benny tried ta kill with that bomb."

"There's a truce in place during this time," Thatcher told him.

"Then Ishi and I are heading out of the city," Xander told him.  "He can come back if he wants to hit him."

Ray snatched the address.  "That building's got six or seven entrances.  They could have used it as a gateway."

"Yes, but Diefenbaker can track him," Xander said dryly.  "All he needed was a place to start."

"Point," Stan agreed.  "Ray?"

"Here, not like I can move."

"Point.  Come on...constable."  He drug Xander off, taking the address back so he could drive them.  Though they did take Xander's car since it was nicer.  The stop at the consulate only took a moment, Diefenbaker was outside with Turnbull, who was back on guard duty.  Xander got out and opened the door, then nodded.  The wolf jumped in and settled into the back seat, waiting while Xander got back in and headed off.  The address was an old, rundown factory that they had solved a case in and Ray had been right, it had multiple entrances.  Diefenbaker hopped out and started to sniff.  "Find Fraser, Dief.  Some bad guy's got him and wants to brainwash him back to his old self."  Diefenbaker hurried off and Xander trotted after him, making Stanley jog to catch up.  Xander must work out a lot because he seemed to be doing his jogging effortlessly.  They caught up to the wolf, who was sniffing around.  "Lost him?"

"Car," Xander said, pointing at the tracks.  "Looks like they peeled out too."   He looked around.  "Diefenbaker, try the elevators," he ordered, pointing.  The wolf trotted that way and barked, pawing at the doors.  "I see."  He walked over and pushed the button.  "Once for Fraser, twice for the bad guy."  The wolf barked twice.  "Good deal."  The elevator came and they followed him onto the elevator.  Diefenbaker sniffed the buttons, then pawed at one so Xander pushed it, waving at Stanley.  "Track the car."  He waited impatiently while they rose, coming out in a nice office.  Diefenbaker tracked it right to the man on the right side of the desk, making him jump up and stare.  "Good day," he said calmly.  "I do believe that you're wanted back on Canadian soil to talk about how you kidnaped Constable Fraser."

"You can't prove anything"

"Actually, I can.  You see, wolves have highly developed senses of smell.  They're scent dogs in the wild.  Which this one was for most of his life."  The man blanched.  Xander turned and smiled.  "Mr.  Zucko, and Mr. Warfield, how nice to see you again."

"You as well," Warfield said.  "Do I know you?"

"Why yes, you do, you insulted my daughter the other day."  Then he hit him in the nose, making him yell.  Xander took off his hat, then his illusion choker, becoming Lavelle for a moment.  "Good day," he said with a gentle smile at the bodyguards.  "Do you think you'll win?"

"Shit, I knew it was him!" Zucko shouted, backing away.  "I knew it was him and not his brother!"

"No, honey, I'm an only child," he said dryly, glaring at him.  The man flinched.  "Diefenbaker, hold the nice kidnaper while I deal with these menaces to polite society?"  The wolf barked and growled at the man, making him back up.  Diefenbaker laid down, staring at him.  Xander looked from one to the other, then at the bodyguards.  "I'd leave," he ordered.  "This is not going to be pretty."

"Shoot him and the wolf!" Warfield yelled.

"Fat chance," Stanley said from behind the group.  "Hi, guys.  Oh, and Dennis.  Nice ta see ya."  The kidnaper shuddered, he remembered this one from when he was Fraser's super.  "He got the wound?"

"He's the one who took him this time.  I haven't ascertained if he's wounded yet or not. But that guy is bleeding in the right spot," he offered, pointing at a guard.

"So he is," Stan agreed.  "Put it down!  Now!"

"Make me," the man sneered.  "You're just one man."

Xander coughed.  "Two men, gentlemen, and one's better than you'll ever be."  He flicked his wrist and threw a knife, hitting him in the stomach.  "You were saying?"  He sneered at the rest. "I'd drop 'em, boys.  Think about how many weapons I've got on me."  Most of them dropped them.

"You're all dead!" Warfield ordered, standing up. His nose was still bleeding but he didn't care.  He would be stopping this. "How dare you come into my city...." he started.  Xander calmly hit him again, this time in the throat.

"It's not your city, it's Ray's city.  It's Stan's city.  It's Turnbull's city.  You're just fucked."  Then he grinned sweetly.  "That's right, that's what you'll be doing tonight.  I forgot all about that."  Both men blanched.  "Awww, did we not like the gay sex?  Pity, I find I enjoy the hell outta it every day and every night and most often every afternoon. Ishi?"  He walked in, slicing the few remaining guns.  Including Stan's.  He blushed and handed over his spare.  "Thanks, son."

"Welcome, mom."

"I thought he was Goemon's kid," Zucko said hoarsely.

"He is, I just helped raise him with my others.  You know, Lupin the Fourth, Melissa Jigen, who I had.  Those kids."  Zucko whimpered.  "That's right, you guys have been bested by one of the gayest of the gay and taken down by one of the gayest of the gay who'll be celebrating your capture tonight by being gay with a few good men up his ass.  How does that make you feel?" he asked dryly.  Zucko lunged and Lavelle caught him, tossing him onto the floor and stomping on his chest.  "What's wrong?  Didn't you like taking it up the ass from your cellmate?  You'd make a cute bitch. I'm sure they kept your old dress and apron."  Zucko moaned and shook his head.  Xander leaned down a bit. "Unless you want me to make sure that you're the bitch of the block, I'd confess and ask for a deal in those nice supermax's where you only see daylight one hour a day.  It's much safer for you after all."  He grinned the same grin at Warfield. "You as well.  Because your guards were only trying to defend you.  They can turn evidence easily and not even get probation."  His smirk got colder.  "Or I could have a word with someone about you, make sure you get a *nice* cellmate and all that," he offered coolly.   "Because you're interrupting my nap."

Ishi snickered.  "What's wrong, mom, missing the naptime sex?" he teased.

"Well, yeah, and I can't pick on Stan since he's married to Bix and I can't turn Ray to the darker side of lovin'.  So what's a lonely guy like me to do?  But turn Mountie and make the world safer for gay guys like me."

Warfield rushed him and Xander hit him in the chest, breaking his ribs and the center bone holding them in place.  "Ow, that's got to hurt," Ishi said with a wince.  He looked at the bodyguards.  "Since he just put you all under a death sentence, anyone wanna make Lavelle a happy boy in a non-gay way so he can get laid?  Or hey, in a gay way that way he'd be in a good mood later?"

"If you say one word, you'll be dead and your families will be dead too!" Zucko shouted.

"Not if you're in jail, princess," Ishi said with a smirk.  "So, do you enjoy it on your back or on your knees?  I've heard there's advantages to both positions but my women never say which one's better."

"Your dad would kill you if he thought you were a playboy," Stan said dryly.  "The same as he would when he finds out your sister is dating."

"Oh, she's done more than that and yes, Goemon did blow the top of his head off when he heard," Xander said dryly, pulling out some plastic cuffs to start working on people.  "Besides, Ishi's only got two lovers at the moment and they're both very nice young ladies who like to be made to howl."  He flipped Warfield over and cuffed him, watching as blood started to trickle out of his mouth.  He flipped him back over. "You know what they say about last minute confessions," he said dryly.  He looked at the last guy. "Where's Fraser? You're taking Ishi's fun."

"He's headed for the cemetery.  They're gonna make him dig himself a grave since he already had one professionally."

"Again, that would be my fun," Ishi said, heading out to deal with that.

Stan called it in, getting Welsh in dispatch fairly quickly.  He gave precise instructions. Including the cemetery.  There were only ten of them in town after all.

***

Welsh, Ray, and Huey found Fraser that night, still standing on the small, rocking piece of wood Ishi had placed him on while the noose was around his neck.  He had his eyes closed but he was breathing.  "You gonna jump now, Benny?" Ray asked bitterly.  "Make it all go away?"

"I should.  I fear he didn't put the knot in the right place so I'd suffocate instead of having an instantaneous death."  He looked at them.  "I'm sorry, Ray."

"The thought crosses every cop's mind at least once, Constable," Welsh said grimly.  "Lets get him down from there.  Now."  Huey walked closer carefully and untied the rope from the tree, then helped the constable down.  "I want a report on my desk about what you did to deserve this.  I do mean a full report.  If that kid comes back, I wanna know why. In detail."  He walked off.

Ray looked at him and shook his head. "You're damn lucky he stuck to the letter of the truce," he noted, hobbling off.

Huey walked Fraser off to his car, helping him into it and ignoring the fact that he was crying.  He had heard rumors and they were enough for him.  He wasn't sure he wouldn't have done the same thing under those circumstances, either that or Fraser snapped and went mental there for a bit.  He got around to drive them back to the precinct, letting Fraser proceed him, looking like he was in as much control as always.  He looked at Ray.  "You staying?"

"For a few days, until everything's wrapped up.  Then I promised Ma I'd visit."  Frannie pouted at that.  "If I could afford it, I'd send you too," he sighed, looking up at the ceiling.  Then at his sister.  "Why don't you plan ahead and get cheap tickets now?"

"Because my guy left me and I'm doing all my bills myself," she said bitterly, not looking at him.

"Ah."  He nodded.  "It happens to the best of us," he reminded her.  She looked up at him.  "If I can, Frannie."

"Thanks, Ray.  How's the newest baby?"

"Hell.  Colic."  She shuddered.  "With the runs on and off all the time."  She shuddered again, even harder. "Maybe you can trade places with Tony.  He doesn't seem to like it over there that much."  He hobbled into the office, going to hand in his brief report that he'd done on the way back in the car.  Laptops were nice things.  He noticed the case and frowned.  "He left the box."

"He was doing something with Turnbull tonight," Thatcher noted.  "How did he make them cry?"

"Taunted them about being the gayest of the gay and taking down such manly men," Stan said as he joined them.  He looked at the box, then at Ray.  "He's still in town."

"He was doing something with Turnbull later," Ray offered.  Stan shook his head and smiled, picking up the bag and heading back to his desk to pet it.  "We can't keep that. It's evidence."

"It's all legit.  Nothing of his is in here but the permits.  We'll talk to the boss on the way home.  Maybe we can.  Seizure laws and all that."

"There's no drugs in there," Ray complained.

Stan opened the bottom drawer, pulling out the small baggie.  "Tylenol 3's and I do believe you saw him with a vial of demerol?"

"Well, yeah," Ray admitted dryly.  "I guess that could count. Call Zenigata first though.  I don't need another butt chewin', it's already flat enough from sitting down for the last two weeks."  He sat down in his old desk chair, smiling at the comfort of it.  "Hey, it's the same one."

"We're too cheap to buy a new one," Welsh called. "I want better reports."

"Of course you do," Stanley agreed.  He flipped open his laptop, smiling at the message. "He said we could have it.  It's all generic stuff."

"Which he?" Thatcher asked.  "And where might he be?"

"Lavelle and the uniform's in your office, ready to be sent to the cleaners.  The final tape was handed to Turnbull when he picked him up, back in civy clothes, but he said he wanted to keep the hat and the boots."  He looked up and grinned.  "But he did say Ray and I could have the gear case if we wanted."

"I'm sorry, the hat and the boots are part of the uniform, he promised to hand it all back," she said firmly.  Stanley typed that in, getting a sigh and a 'fine'.  She looked and snorted.  "He really is a big kid some days."

"Yes, he is," Ray agreed dryly.

"You mean that *was* Lavelle?  The real Lavelle?" Huey demanded.  Everyone nodded.  "Why was he here?" Stan raised his hand.  "You asked him to?"

Stan looked at him.  "Hell yeah.  It had to do with the underground, which we're out of touch in.  Ray's injured in case you hadn't noticed."  He grinned.  "It was even my idea to have him be a Mountie so no one would question things."

"He's helped in the past when we needed it," Ray admitted.  "He likes us.  We're like fun and neat friends who do questionable work to him. He's the one who moved Ma to Italy and found her the best house he could when she said she wanted to and started to look around on her trip."  Frannie nodded at that.  "He even gave her a low interest mortgage for it," he admitted.  "It's like three percent."

"Does he run a bank here?" Frannie asked. "I could use that help to refinance."

Stan looked at the screen. "He said he can't, but to talk to the bank and tell them that he's left and the payments are too high with just your income.  They may be able to refinance if you've been a good customer."

"I'll do that tomorrow.  I've got to make another payment then anyway," she said bitterly.  She went back to work.  "So the kid?"

"Goemon the Fourteenth," Ray told her.  "Ishi."

"Fellow comic freak with me and Lavelle," Stan admitted.

Thatcher shook her head.  "I don't envy you trying to catch him. Or the younger set.  Lupin the Fourth was impressive close up when she visited to talk about the terms of the truce."

Ray grinned at her.  "He's listed as 'do not touch unless on a job'."

"Because he will shootcha harmlessly and then skip off and go for ice cream," Stan finished.  "Him, Ishi, Melissa, Arsene, and probably Lotus but she doesn't like to injure or kill since she's empathic and a Wiccan of some sort."

Thatcher shook her head.  "I'm very glad I'm not part of that task force."

"We get normal people too," Ray offered.  "When he's bored he likes to help by sending notes.  Helps keep our averages up.  Got us a commendation too."

"Yeah, and medals, and a reward since one had one on his head," Stan agreed dryly. "Helped paint the nursery and buy new furniture for it since what we found broke."  He looked at Ray.

"Not my fault I tripped on the wrinkle in the carpet and broke my ankle," he complained.

"No, probably not," he agreed dryly.  "Bix doesn't mind but she said she'll be fixing everything for the next one."

"You're having more than one?" Ray demanded. "How many are you planning?" Stan held up two fingers while typing with his other hand.  "Fine.  One'a each?"

"If possible.  Oh, this one's a daughter.  We're naming her Oroyo Rogue.  Whatcha think? He asked with a grin.

"Is she gonna be a stripper?" Frannie asked.

"We're hoping for a cop," he said dryly.

"You're naming her after comic book characters?" Ray demanded, groaning and holding his head.  "Hey, Welsh, can I borrow some aspirin?  He's namin' his kids after comic book characters."

"Hey, she's a fan too," Stan demanded. "She's always liked Storm."

"You're weird," Ray told him. "You both are.  I don't know why I live with you two because you're both so weird."

"So you'd never have to live alone?" Stan suggested.  "Besides, she won't let you cook unless she feels miserable."

"Yeah, I've got to break her of that habit too," he agreed grimly.  "That and walking behind me and turning lights off."

"Well, she's from a time and a place where they used candles mostly.  It must have saved them a lot of making them."

"Still.  She turned off the Bulls the last time we were there."

"I'll remind her not to touch the sacred sports games," Stan sighed, shaking his head.

"You're married?" Huey demanded.

Stan looked at him.  "You met her!  That barbecue at Ray's Ma's house?  Tiny little Japanese woman named Bix?  Her."

"Oh, I thought she was a new cop to your unit."

"No, she's Lupin's former nanny," Frannie said dryly.  "Ma loved her.  She was polite, she changed diapers, and she's a sweet girl."

"She is, and she can still kick my ass," Stan said dryly.  "Nag Ray, he's dating another cop in the unit too.  Emmajean's a nice girl from a long line'a cops."

"She is," Ray agreed, "we're still just dating though."

"Where might she be?" Huey asked.

"With Myron in Istanbul chasing after an assassin who likes to shoot people up the nose," Ray said dryly.

"Eww," Welsh said.

"Tell me about it," Stan muttered, finishing his report and handing it over once it was printed.  "Here, we've mastered the 'on the run' report from the airplane," he offered with a grin.

"Eh, it's only been ten countries this year for you and six for me," Ray reminded him.  "Not as bad as our first year."

"True.  Not that bad.  That year we did, what, twenty, each?" he asked Ray, who nodded.  "On separate cases.  Plus the Lupin chasing."

"Don't remind me," Ray ordered.  "Why does that man never stay in one place?"

"Because we'd have to build a harem for him to be satisfied and then Xander would kill you," Stan said dryly.  "Oh, he said Ishi's got two girlfriends and Lotus was found to be dating by her father, if not more.  Said he blew the top of his head off when he found her."

"I'm not surprised.  Goemon's a very strict and old fashioned father.  I'm surprised she's not married to him."

"Yeah, but the marriage clause ran out when they turned sixteen," Stan said smugly.  "Remember, Fred's just starting to notice girls as more than pillows and someone to steal from.  He'll have to have that same 'sixteen' lecture the girls and Ishi did.  Plus the others."

"I still think Yu may like boys," Ray offered dryly, finishing his report and checking it over before printing it.  "Someone toss that into the office for me."  He leaned back, looking at him.  "He seems to like to cuddle up to guys a lot."

"He does," Stan agreed, "but Goemon would throw fits.  We all know he'd throw fits."  His computer beeped and he let Thatcher read the message while he was chuckling. "He said Goemon's already sighing about it," he said between laughs, "and that Xander got him really drunk when he realized that about his son.  He has no idea how to talk to the kid about liking boys, so Xander's going to get to give the sex lecture to another set."

"He did good enough with Zenigata's kids," Ray offered. "Those cards are handy."

"They are."  Stan smirked at him.  "I can't wait until I get him ta give it ta my kid."

"If he's around that long."

Stan snorted.  "The guy might as well immortal.  He's been shot, stabbed, and beaten a few too many times.  Besides, he's already died twice and been brought back.  I'm not sure how many more he's got in him but I'm thinkin' my little girl'll be chasin' him in his old age."  He hit himself on the head.  "Oh, that bug's in that painting you like.  The new one's in the couch cushions."

"Wonderful.  We'll find them both when we get home."  He shook his head.  "Anyone wanna come catch him for us?"

"Hell no," Huey muttered.  "I like normal crooks, thank you."

"Me too," Welsh agreed dryly, looking at the reports.  "Kowalski, spelling mistakes abound."

"Sorry, sir.  Let me spell check it and do it again."

"Thank you.  How about you, Inspector?"

"No, I'd rather not.  I am rather worried about Turnbull."

"He's off duty, he's a nice guy," Stan assured her.  "He's probably found a neat new friend or possibly a boyfriend on the side if Turnbull swings that way.  I don't know if he does or not."

"I have no idea, I don't get that involved," she admitted.  She shook her head quickly. "I did not want that mental picture, Inspector."  Stan beamed.  "You're just as bad as he is."

"Sometimes, but I shoot people for better reasons."

"Except for the time you hadn't slept in two days and you pulled your gun on the coffee guy at the station," Ray taunted.

"Yeah, well, hell, I hadn't had chocolate, caffeine, or sleep in two days and no sex for six months.  What'd ya expect?"

"Now I'm doubly glad I didn't join Interpol," Huey noted, going to get his next person to process.

"I'm up to four now," Stan called after him, smirking at Thatcher.  "Ya think ya wanna help?"

"No, thank you. I like sleeping much too much to give it up most of the time.  Why?  Are you recruiting?"

"Yeah, always," Ray admitted. "We've got two open spots on our team.  Think Turnbull might like it?"

"You may ask him, but I'd doubt it," she said firmly.  She took her copies of the reports and headed back to her office to finish off that file and send it to her superiors in Ottawa.  They'd want to know and they could yell at Paris for aiding and abetting this ridiculous plan.

***

Xander looked across the table at Turnbull, then sipped his wine before glancing around.  "So, what sin did you commit to get moved here?" he asked quietly, taking a bite of his dinner.  The younger man blushed.  "I'm figuring someone noticed your thing with cleaning?" he teased and got a brighter blush.  "They didn't send you because of that, did they?"

"In a round-about way, they did," he admitted.  "I was cleaning at home when my superior came to my door demanding I come back and do an inventory of files that wasn't needed and wasn't required to find a single file he couldn't find.  I was dusting and in this fetching little apron with blue flowers when he burst into my apartment."

"Which is against the law," Xander noted.

"You should know," he said dryly, smirking at him. "Anyway it was deemed and reported that I had strange urges while in uniform so I got quietly sent to a foreign posting."

Xander snorted.  "Honey, liking to clean and protecting your uniform with an apron isn't that odd.  I've seen odd.  That's actually kind of endearing."  He smiled at him.  "You did look cute."

"Thank you.  I think that apron sets off my uniform beautifully as well," he joked back.  "You didn't have to get me to Japan you know."

"I did.  I hate to see talented people wasted and withering away."  He took another sip of his wine. "Besides, you're young, you should travel. It'll make you appreciate home and what you have more.  It always does me. I appreciate my bed very much when I've spent more than a few days in a hotel."  He swallowed a bigger gulp.  "Besides, if you like it, you might just come to Paris now and then to visit. I could use more normal friends."

"As could I," he agreed gently, smiling at him, "but to sleep with you would put my uniform in jeopardy and my commission out the window."

"Not really.  Half the time I'm not really me."

"I had noticed.  Is it true MPD or just disassociation these days?"

"Disassociation mostly.  Has been since I was tortured before I was found and taken as an apprentice.  You could be so much more, Renfield.  You could be one of the top Mounties.  Or tops in Interpol.  You'd do good working with Stan, Ray, and Gramps."

"Yes, but they have atrocious hours and duties.  Here, I dust, I guard, I do some mild paperwork and now and then I get other orders, like picking up the dry cleaning."  He smiled a bit. "It's not the best posting but probably one of the easiest.  I'm not in the Territories wandering around.  I'm not actively chasing people down a crowded street and risk having to shoot them or a bystander if they move wrong.  I'm not having to teach.  It's not what I joined for but I've become accustomed to it."

"Then consider this.  Zenigata needs good security people now and then for foreign dignitaries.  Their unit has to do it every three or four months since he's the top officer from Japan and Stan speaks the language nearly as good as I do.  The Canadians in Interpol are fairly weak and mostly on guns and drugs.  One's working on stolen people with one of the Brit cops, but he's a bit obsessed.  They need someone with your skills for that alone.  You could do that as a specialist, on special assignment to Interpol now and then."

"I could," he agreed.  "It would be about the same without the cleaning."

"You'd be surprised.  If Bix isn't in a cleaning mood, their office never gets cleaned," Xander said dryly.  "Plus, Zenigata wouldn't care if you came in wearing fishnet hose and heels with your uniform as long as you could do the work."

Renfield smiled.  "I only like aprons, and those heels always look so uncomfortable."

"They are," Xander agreed dryly, smirking at him.  "I speak from experience. They are.  They hurt you when you break them in too."  That got a small grin.  "You could do that.  It'd get you traveling every now and then.  The guy who trains teams for those assignments is a big blond guy, looks like Thor.  Six and a half foot tall but a gentle pussycat if you don't hurt what's his.  You and he, if you like guys, would be either great friends or great lovers.  He will be in Japan while you're there.  He's working on a diplomatic meeting in Britain with two of the Japanese diplomats.  They requested Zenigata because he does speak the language, even though they don't like him, and Ray and Stan because they're good.  They still need a fourth.  You're good.  I've seen your personnel file on the way over.  You scored nearly as high as I did on my last range test."  Renfield tipped his head at that. "You'll be right there while that's all going on.  I can introduce you to him and to Zenigata.  If you want."

"I wouldn't mind, but that seems like I'd owe you a favor."

Xander snorted. "Each year I do something good for someone else.  It's part of who I am," he said dryly.  "Lupin hates it.  Jigen hates it.  I don't care."  Renfield chuckled at that.  "Born needs a new friend.  People are scared of him because of his height and how big he is.  His last girlfriend couldn't get to the sex part because of how big he is.  She walked off crying and he spent that night drunk, and I picked him up not knowing who he was.  Besides, we never hit diplomats on the road.  Anything they have is easier stolen at home, where the originals are."  Renfield nodded that idea was probably true.  "So, can I?"

"You could," he agreed.  "As long as I won't owe you."

"Nah," he said with a grin and a wink.  "If I can't have you, I'd best turn you over to someone who should and would appreciate you in every meaning of the word.  By the way, you'll like Born.  He spent his first seven years at Interpol looking like the doorman.  He insulted someone because he, well, he's got a thing for, well...guys who are like bards to put it mildly.  He likes guys who can tell stories, can sing, will want to dance with him, and all that good stuff."

"I don't tell Inuit stories," he offered.

"I know and that was his only fascination with Fraser but even he said that you and Born would get along well."

"I see.  I'd like to meet him," he offered.  "I thank you, Lavelle."

"Xander.  I'm off duty."

"Fine, Xander then," he said with a small grin.  "You must be fascinating in bed."

"And out," he quipped with a grin.  "But you're a bit too good for my tastes.  I'd get you dirty."  Renfield nodded.  "Born, he likes 'em clean and neat and tidy.  With a taste for white boxer shorts for some reason."  Turnbull laughed at that, giggling unmanfully but it was so odd and so him.  "When you're over there, I'll drop by with him."  He winked and put down some money on the table.  "Take the rest to get you home.  I left the hat and the boots in the car since Thatcher said I couldn't keep 'em."  He winked and walked away.

Turnbull finished his excellent dinner, ordered dessert, and then paid the bill and headed home in a cab, only stopping to gather the hat and boots from the rental car.  He walked them into the consulate and put them with the rest of the uniform, then headed to his office for a nap.  He needed a nap before packing.

***

Xander walked up behind the big, dangerous man, smirking at him.  "Hey."

He looked around, then at him. "You'd better be a figment or invisible."

"No, but I've got a solution for a problem of yours."

"Going to give me a terrorist cell's home address?"

Xander looked at them, then at him.  "They're living in Brighton.  No, I've got a Mountie with extensive duty at the Canadian Consulate in Chicago here in Japan, who could use some traveling and is very nice.  With weapons skills nearly as good as mine and skills with alarm systems.  He helped me update their embassy there."

"Where?"

"Turnbull.  Renfield Turnbull.  He's on temporary assignment locally to get some travel in."  He leaned closer.  "You'll like him, Born.  You'll like him a lot.  If he wasn't so clean and neat and tidy, I'd have him begging and writhing under me.  Instead, I think I'll let you two meet.  He needs what you can offer him and he's more than nice enough for a big, sweet guy like you.  He's got a thing about cleaning in aprons."

"Really?  Is this the same Turnbull that Fraser introduced me to?"  He nodded.  "Well."  He grinned.  "Thank you.  The local embassy?"  Xander nodded again.  "Thank you for your good deeds, Lavelle.  Now, disappear before I remember I wear a badge."  Xander disappeared from that spot.  He shook his head.  "Figment, I knew it was."  He ignored the warmth remaining from the breath near his neck.  But he did shiver.  He had wanted to meet this Mountie for a while now.  He gathered up his things, making note that they were living in Brighton presently, going to pass that on as he walked out the door.  He headed as fast as he could to the embassy, smiling at the guard.  "Ah, Turnbull.  I'm Born Faigaen.  You'll be called inside in a few moments," he told the still and stiff door guard, looking him over.  He wasn't a small man but he was well-built and oooooh, he was still in a few meanings of the word.  He walked inside, smiling politely at the receptionist.  "Is the top Inspector in?  I'd like to borrow Turnbull myself."

"We'd all like to borrow Turnbull," she offered with a sly grin.  "He's in his office, let me call."  She called the head office.  "Sir, there's an officer from Interpol here who would like to borrow Turnbull for a bit. Yes, sir."  She hung up. "Let me go relieve him so you can walk him in there."  She walked outside, tapping Renfield on the shoulder.  "Needed in the office, sweetie."  He nodded and moved, letting her have his spot.  He even blushed when she looked him over.  "Pity."

He smiled.  "Not really."  He walked inside. "This way, Inspector."  He walked him into the office, tapping first of course.  He followed behind and went to parade rest.  "Inspector, this is the officer who wanted to see you and me."

"Thank you, Turnbull.  Sit.  I hate people being that stiff and formal in here."  He nodded and sat down properly, looking quite confident.  "What can I and Constable Turnbull do for you, Inspector?"

"I'm Born Faigaen from Interpol, Inspector. I handle the diplomatic entourages."  The older man looked impressed at that.  "It was recently dropped in our ear that Constable Turnbull has some skills we could use, including a slight desire to travel now and then.  I'd not want him permanently, but we do have a few diplomatic missions coming up where we need someone who can tread lightly but say mean things in public while smiling and seeming innocuous."

"Which he does very well," the inspector agreed dryly.  "He does socially polite very well.  We had a reception the night he got here and he fit right in, even though he was just coming off his plane and reporting for duty.  No one knew he was fatigued, had just been traveling, or was even not supposed to be here full-time."

"Excellent.  That's what we need, but we can also use his skills on the range and with alarms."  Turnbull blushed at that.  "I believe you know the one who told me?"

"Yes, I do."

"Does this have to do with why Ottawa said that Lavelle was impersonating one of us?"

"He was asked to come help protect Chicago's consulate from a deranged person shooting at us, Inspector," Turnbull said gently.  "He was working with Inspectors Kowalski and Vecchio from Interpol to stop this heinous act."

"I heard about him in the Mountie uniform.  Did he fit in?" Born asked.  Turnbull nodded, smiling a bit. "Except his slouch?"

"That and he was a bit impetuous at times," he offered.  "With more time to prepare I'm sure he could have mastered the calm civility we're known for."

"Maybe.  Lavelle like his action a bit too much.  Anyway, I do have an upcoming mission that is right up your alley if you'd care to participate?  It'll be in two weeks."

"I'm leaving then," he admitted. "On the 30th."

"Even better.  We're leaving on the 31st for Paris.  We need someone to travel with us, be part of the team in Paris, travel back here, then do a day of reporting before reporting back to duty.  If you can do this, we'd put you on as a special reserve member for such events.  We get four or five a year, usually about a week long, plus travel time now and then.  Since you're stationed in Chicago, we could use you in the US, or anytime we're going to Canada."

"It would be very good for your career, Turnbull," the Inspector offered.

"It would," he agreed.  "I'd love to, but I do have to point out I don't know Japanese."

"That's fine, Turnbull.  We all have our own advantages to the team.  You'll be paired with Zenigata, who is very experienced and is Japanese.  You'll have him, the two from Chicago he works with, and the ones he's training as a secondary line of defense.  Is that acceptable?"

"Quite," he agreed with a small grin.  "When should I come in for the briefing?"

"How about we do it tonight after work?  I'm backed up tomorrow with a new training class for retrieval situations.  By the way, you'll have to do a refresher course in that with me before we leave.  I'll try to get you into the one on Sunday."  He nodded at that, he did have that day off.  "Good.  When do you get off tonight?"

The Inspector coughed.  "For such an important event, I'll let him go now if he wants."

"I wouldn't mind, but I'd hate to leave you short," Turnbull said quietly.  "I'm here to help fill in for a gap."

"Turnbull, it's only two hours.  I'm not worried about it.  As a matter of fact, I was going to slip out early myself.  I have a hair appointment today."  Turnbull nodded at that.  "So you're free to go out tonight, though you might want to change first."

"I can take him to his hotel. Did you drive?" Born asked as he stood up and shook the Inspector's hand.

"I took one of those nice little bike taxi's actually.  I like them, they're very nice," he said, saluting his superior officer.  "I'll be back bright and early and on time in the morning, sir."  He got waved at so he left, following the giant man out to his car.  "He said he was going to introduce us."

"He told me the same," he admitted with a smile.  "He's a funny little guy sometimes, but I adore the little freak.  I'd love to see him reform and join our side."

"I could see him being a Mountie," Renfield teased.  "But he'd have to learn proper manners.  He was using his cellphone at the table to send text messages when we had dinner.  Wanted to keep the hat and the boots."  He got into the car indicated, smiling as he buckled up.  "This is nice."

"It's a rental.  I'm only in town for four days.  Then I've got to head back to Paris for a two-day event, then come back here for the sunday class."  He started the car with a yawn.  "Sorry, just got in earlier today."

"Not a problem.  Jetlag is horrible."  He shifted to look at him.  "Which diplomat?"

"The princess and her mother.  They're going to officially meet with some diplomats over there for a charity ball and to make a few new connections and then come back here.  The Princess must marry soon and there's a few very wealthy Japanese businessmen who are eligible but don't stay here all the time.  They're officially going to look at schools."

"Ah I see."  He smiled.  "It does happen at those levels.  Marriages are highly sought and carefully planned for public image and effectiveness."   Born grinned at him.  "So, he said you were also a very nice man."

"He said the same about you."  He pulled out of the parking lot and headed downtown. "Which hotel?"

"The Regent."  He nodded, heading that way.  "Where did you want to have dinner?  So I know how to dress?"

"Wherever you want would be fine.  Half the time I end up eating in Ramen shops and the other half I spend at diplomatic dinners."

"How about somewhere in between?  Say a nice, inexpensive sit down place with a good variety?"

"That sounds wonderful.  Does he have you bugged?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted.  "Possibly.  Then again it could be where he has vouched for me being one of the good guys to certain people in Chicago.  One of the Crypts came up to me recently and asked my opinion on baby names.  I was quite flustered but I did give him my suggestions, he wanted something musical that sounded nice.  I was quite alone in the park having lunch."  He shook his head.  "He was quite the nicest young man.  Very young to be a father but it happens sometimes I suppose."

"It sounds it," he agreed, pulling into the driveway.  "Go upstairs and change, I'll park and wait in the lobby."

"Come up instead of waiting.  I'm in room 1246."  He got out and headed up the stairs, smiling and nodding at the doorman.  "Thank you kindly."  He checked for any messages, taking that one and the package that had just been dropped for him according to the desk girl, and headed up the stairs.  He opened the package and found a wonderful outfit, including boxers, so put it on since it was pressed and so very good against his looks.  He looked at the note included and smiled as the door was knocked on.  He walked over to answer it.  "I am apparently bugged or your car is."  He handed over the note.  "Let me hide the rest of his present."  He pulled out the carefully folded apron and put it into his suitcase, turning and blushing because the other man was looking.  "Sorry, it's a habit of mine to clean."

Born moved closer and gently kissed him.  "I like tidy men."  He smiled and walked Renfield out, taking him to the suggested spot.

***

Lupin looked up from listening to the bug as Xander walked in.  "I sent him clothes, and a restaurant suggestion.  Plus an apron."

"Thanks."  He kissed him gently.  "See, I told you doing one good deed a year like that would make you happy."  He handed over his present and walked into their bedroom, waking Jigen up when he dug around inside his gear bag.  "Sorry.  Go back to your nap."

"What's going on?"

"Oh, idiot hitting on Lotus.  I thought I'd go scare him."

Lupin pounced him from behind, dragging him to the bed.  "Arsene called and said she did already.  So you're all ours tonight."  He smirked at him and stripped off the bright shirt and dress pants, getting down to the bare skin and it was his, all his!  Jigen was just giving them odd looks.  "What?" he defended. "I haven't had any in a while."

"He's got lipstick on his neck," Jigen noted.

Lupin looked and then looked into Xander's eyes.  "Why?"

"Because I was setting a new idea in motion and she was grateful."

"Oh.  No sex?

"No, dear.  No sex. You can taste me and prove it to yourself."  Lupin went down to do just that, making Xander one happy guy.

Epilogue:

Arsene looked at her uncle.  "I think I need a fortress.  I've been considering the options and I think I'm ready for a fortress for my evil plans to hatch in."

"You can't have a fortress until I build my harem so your fathers stick around," Xander said dryly.

"You're building a what?" she asked, staring at him.  "A harem?"  He nodded, smirking at her.  "Now that's just wrong on so many levels, mom."  She got up and stomped toward the front of the house, finding an older man sitting in the sitting room.  "Hey, who're you?" she asked.

The old man stared at her.  "You look just like your father at your age, young lady.  You must be Lupin the fourth?"  She nodded. "I'm Lupin the second."

She shook his hand.  "Welcome to the house, gramps."  He looked shocked. "Sorry, apparently it's a low manner day for me.  So, Grandfather, we thought you had died a number of years ago," she said, sitting across from him.  Her father walked in with a tea tray.  "Daddy, we have a housekeeper."

"Who broke her leg last night," he reminded her.  He set down the tray and looked at his father.  "I see you've met the next generation.  Where's the Fifth?"

"Curled up with Lotus.  She's not a happy ferret at the moment.  Daddy, Mom said I couldn't have a fortress until he built a harem to keep you guys.  When do you think that'll be?  I've been studying up on how to be an evil overlord and I'm sure it's the right career for me."

He kissed her on the head.  "Daughter, you're just odd.  Very odd.  But what's this about a harem?"

"Mom said he's going to be building a harem to make sure you guys stay around."

"First I've heard of it," Lupin the Third admitted.  He poured out some tea and handed it to her, then made himself and his father laced cups.  "So, now that you've seen the future of the family, scared yet?" he joked.

"Not really.  I've done some quiet checking and she seems quite competent for her age.  Though she must be very young."

"I'm not as little as I look," Arsene assured him smugly.  "How old do you think I am?"

"Twelve, fourteen at the most."

"Try late sixteen, grandfather.  Been doing the job since I was eight."  She sipped her tea.  "I was sixth in my class at the Assassin's Academy, with my three crew members above me, two took tops actually.  We all graduated early.  We went in and only had to do a year of contact making.  The one who needed the most work was Melissa and she only had to get over a bad mental image problem."  She took another sip.  "So why did you die?"

"Sorry, she's learned a lot but manners aren't always her strong suit," Lupin excused, glaring at his daughter.

"No, she's right to ask, son.  Arsene, I left because I found someone I loved more than the pretty things and she said her or theft.  I chose her."

She nodded.  "I've seen loves like that.  Melissa's first chose between his future as an assassin or her.  He ended up going to the cops for protection and joining them."  He nodded at that.  "When did she die?"

He looked at the ring on his hand, then smiled at her.  "Nearly five years ago now.  She was one hell of a woman.  You'd have loved her and she would have swatted you greatly for your mouthiness, but there would've been love in it."  She nodded at that.  "Why do you steal?"

"Because it's expected of me and it's fun.  It's like a constant challenge and I adore the challenge and the puzzles.  Besides, it's in the blood and I'm good at it," she pointed out.  "There are full grown cops who both fear and respect me, for my skills and the other things that make me me."  She put down her cup.  "I know you'd rather have a male Fourth, but the will said he had to have *someone* to carry on the name."

"I know.  That's the same reason I had him."  Lupin the Third chuckled at that.  "So she's a chip off Grandfather's block?"

"She's just as good as I am," Lupin agreed proudly, smiling at his daughter.  "We occasionally get into it over her mouth and her skills coming out at inappropriate times but the other kids have been very good at helping her when she feels the absolute need to get into trouble at the wrong time."

"Other children? Yours?"

"Mine, Jigen's, Goemon's.  We're all together like a big communal family, mostly held together by Lavelle."

"Who is Lavelle?"

"Me?" Xander asked, sticking his head in.  "Hey.  Ishi said he saw you in Chicago.  I'm glad I let him go on that tangent while we were fixing the situation."

"You were that Mountie," he said, frowning a bit.

"I'm also their second gunman," he said with a cocky smirk.  "I'm also Sylvia when the choker's recharged. Melissa and the later kids are all mine but Goemon's.  Don't worry, I freak out a lot of people."

"Daddy, tell him to build his harem faster so I can have a fortress," Arsene ordered.

"Xander, harem?" Lupin asked dryly.

He smirked.  "I'm making damn sure you're staying with me, Lupin.  For good.  No more roaming for either of us."  He turned and headed up the stairs.  "Arsene, you don't need a fortress, someday this house'll be yours."

"But I want to be an evil overlord," she called.

"Then go take over a syndicate and run it," he called back.  "Do the paperwork and everything."

"Ick," she said, shuddering a bit.  "I hate paperwork.  Taxes suck ass."  Her father swatted her.  "Sorry, daddy, grandfather."

"Not a problem, I agree that taxes are a horrible imposition," he agreed gently.  "Do we keep scrapbooks around here?"

"I do of my crimes," Arsene said proudly.  "Daddy's got the baby books in his office."

"Which did you want, dad?"

"Let's start with the baby books," he said with a smile.  "I'd like to know her as a person before I know her as a thief and a follower of the line.  What of that girl, Melissa?"

"She's my second and my gunwoman," Arsene told her.  "We were all raised together.   She's a very good cuddle in the middle of the night when you have nightmares too."

Lotus came down the stairs.  "Arsene, have you seen my father?  I need to work out."

"Not recently," she admitted.  "Mom just went up the stairs."

"No, I don't need that stringent of one. I just need a general destresser."  She headed for the kitchen, finding her brother, the vacuum, fixing a snack.  "Where's dad?"

"Meditating.  Why?"  He looked at her. "I can workout with you."

"I don't want to have to defend myself that much, Ishi.  I just need to unwind and destress."

"He's out by the pond."

"Thanks.  Who's the old man?"

"Lupin the Second," he said, smirking at her. "I found him in Chicago.  He left crime for a woman."

"Interesting."  She went to find her father, pouncing him from behind.  "Daddy, I'm stressed out, will you work with me?" she asked sweetly.

"Only if you quit impersonating a limpet," he sighed, getting up and removing her from his neck.  "Thank you, Lotus."

"Welcome, daddy."  She grinned at him and they went back to the usual practice area, starting off on some mild hand-to-hand.  "So that's really Arsene's grandfather?"  He nodded.  "Wow.  That's kinda cool.  Maybe he'll yell at her for swearing about not being able to build her evil fortress yet.  Or at Mom for wanting to build a harem."  Geomon stopped cold, staring at her.  "It's his grand plan to make sure Uncles Lupin and Jigen stay with him forever."

"I see.  When was he planning on this so I know when to escape?"

"I don't know," she admitted, shrugging and attacking again.  "Come on, dad, you're no fun."

He picked her up and tossed her onto her back.  "I'm never fun," he reminded her with a smirk.

"Well if you weren't a Vulcan, you could be," she pointed out, pouncing him again and making him laugh.  She loved her father most of the time.  "Daddy, are you really mad that I'm dating?"

"I'm more mad that I did not meet the boy before you started to have carnal relations.  I should have met him long before that, daughter.  To sneak him about disrespects him and you."

"Yes, daddy.  What about Ishi and his two women?"

"Excuse me?  Two?  Son!" he bellowed.  Ishi came to the doorway.  "Two women?"

"Sorry, dad, but I couldn't decide," he said miserably.  "One of them broke up with me anyway."

"I knew that," Lotus sighed, rolling her eyes.  "She sent the email to my address.  Had you looked at the bottom it had my note to keep your illicit rendevous out of my email."

"Son, stringing two women along is not honorable," Goemon chided.  "You do not do that.  It dishonors the woman and makes them very upset with you.  As Lupin has proved time and again.  Even Marcus had that point proven to him. Men are meant to have *one* woman at a time, son.  Or else we would have two sexual organs."

"I tried to make a decision, father, but it was so hard.  One's so nice and sweet and willing and the other's a bit naughty and a hacker.  I have no idea how they found out about each other.  I was very careful."  He grimaced and ate a bite of his sandwich.

"Unless she hacked you while you were chatting some night," Lotus offered dryly.

"She could have," he admitted. He ate another bite.  "I didn't intentionally decide to dishonor them or myself, father, I simply couldn't decide which one I wanted more."  He took another bite. "I'm sorry if you're disappointed in me."

"Son, by now you should have learned how to control your sexual urges."

"I'm sorry, dad, but sometimes it's hard!" he complained.  "I can't be made of stone.  My body does overrule me now and then!  I'm a sexual being and I like being cuddled."  His father frowned at him.  "Yes, sir, I'll work harder on that urge," he sighed, shaking his head and heading back inside.  He ran into Jigen in the halls.  "How does one control their sexual urges?  I just got lectured because Lotus narked about my two women."

"Two?" Jigen demanded.  "Ishi!"

"I couldn't decide!  One was so sweet and nice and gentle and the other was a naughty little hacker who liked having sex in closets!"

"God, and we're gonna have to have this talk with Fred soon too," he complained, walking off shaking his head.  "Goemon, your son needs instruction in the art of control."

"I heard," he admitted, flipping his hair back between Lotus' blows.  "I have been remiss.  I should take him off to meditate in the woods with me for a bit."

"Well, Ishi did ask me last night if he should try boys once to see if he likes it," Lotus joked.  Her father stopped and stared at her again.  "Sorry, dad, joke."

He groaned and headed inside to talk to his oldest son.  He apparently needed more help than he had guessed.  His hormones were overruling his common sense.

Jigen looked at her.  "Uncool to nark on your brother, Lotus."

"I knew the one had broken up with him.  She sent it to my email."  Jigen just gave her a look.  "Sorry, Uncle Jigen.  When is Mom building her harem?  Arsene is hot to build her fortress of evil."

Jigen shook his head quickly, heading up the stairs.  "Xander?  Harem?" he called as he walked.

"The only sure way to make sure you can't leave me," he called back, then locked his door.  "Working on my plans, sorry."

"Let me in," Jigen demanded, rattling the knob.  He pulled out his favorite hairpin and went to work on the lock, then walked inside.  "You know it's not necessary, Xander."  Xander gave him a look. "I'm not leaving."

"Having a harem nearby means that Lupin won't have to stray, you won't have to stray, I won't have to stray, and we can all have women when we want," he said dryly, going back to his plans.  "Should my next job be in the Carribean or in Asia?"

"Asia.  There's more moguls and stupid people."  He gave him a hug.  "I'm satisfied, imp."

"No you're not.  You woke up sucking on my breast this morning," he said sarcastically.  He gave him a kiss.  "Just hush, Jigen.  It'll be nice and pretty."  He got up and walked him out, locking his door again.  "I'll see you at dinner."

Jigen walked away shaking his head, mimicking Goemon's flight down the back stairs after talking to his oldest son.

***

Ishi looked at his uncles across the dinner table.  "Mom, should I try men once to see if I like them?" he asked plainly.

Xander considered it over the choking going on then nodded.  "Probably just the once, that way you know for sure and can make an educated judgement.  If you want, I'll bring you somewhere you can try that out safely."

"No, that's quite all right," he said.  "I had one in mind if I wanted to try that out."

"Son, you need to learn control before confusing the issue further," Goemon said patiently. "Before you turn into your uncle or your friend."

"I've never tried girls," Arsene defended. "I'm going to make my way through the pretty men first, Uncle G.  Get your thong out of its present twist.  I think it's good that he's thinking about it instead of just going out and doing it to see."

Goemon groaned and held his head.  "Arsene, it is not proper for him to blurt such things out over dinner, the same as it is not proper for you to do so.  That is something he should have asked in private to gain others' opinions.  For the record, son, I do not believe that you would like men.  You like to be in control of everything around you."

"I can still be in control while under a guy, dad," he defended.  "Uncle Lupin?"

"Your father is going to kill you soon," he said.  "That's my honest opinion.  If you want to try gay sex, try gay sex, just do it carefully.  Talk to Xander first so you get all the neat safety lectures and precautions and things.  Use condoms, that sort of thing."  Goemon let out another groan.  "Sorry, Goemon."

"No, it is best I come to terms with this now.  Son, I do not wish to know.  I only wish you to have better control over this urge and the urge to blurt out things like that.  Are you trying to make me have a stroke?  First two women and then this?"

"Sorry, dad."  He gave him his best 'pitiful' look.  "I didn't mean to upset you or anyone else.  I'm sorry if I was rude."

"That's okay, child.  It's more fun than I've had at a table in years," Lupin the Second noted dryly.  "Your father brought home his first girl at eight."

"He made me wait until I was sixteen," Arsene complained.

"No, *I* made you wait until you were sixteen," Xander said firmly.  "Otherwise we'd be diapering the fifth by now and watching them walk around.  If not plan their first job."

"Yes, mom," she said weakly, blushing a bit.

"The fifth being a ferret suits me for now," Lupin decided.  "That's a horrible thought, Xander."

"She's the one who went to the bathroom with a guy at thirteen."

"Point," he agreed, counting backwards.  "That would give me a grandkid who'd be about three by now.  Oh, shit.  Thank you for making her wait."

"Welcome," he agreed, glaring at the kids. "There'd better be no grandkids for a very long time.  Until I find a white hair."

"How would you know with silver hair?" Lotus asked.

"That's the point, Lotus," he said firmly.

"There'll have to be a fifteenth sometime, Uncle," she pointed out.  "With Ishi's risky nature, he should probably start on that one now."

"Should I become a grandfather within the next ten years, I will have to kill children and rename the rest," Goemon said firmly.

"Might be hard to do since I'm pretty sure Kenji likes guys," Arsene joked.

Melissa poked her with her fork.  "Excuse her, she took stupid candy today."

"Well, he does always cuddle up to the guys, unlike Fred and Yu who are breast magnets," Lotus agreed.

Goemon held his head and walked off, shaking the sore thing.  "If so, that will be fine, I'll expect more grandchildren from the rest of you."

"That means you have to quit walking into my bedroom unannounced," Lotus called after him.

Jigen swatted her. "You have better taste than that," he assured her.  "Xander gave you better taste and better manners than that.  Use 'em."

"Yes, Uncle Jigen.  Sorry, daddy!"

In the kitchen, Goemon was looking up.  "Janus, I know you watch over the family, but would you mind leaving my poor daughter alone?  You're warping her and she's the only one I have.  I want her to be a good girl, even if she is an assassin.  Please?  Thank you."   He found the stuff for his headache and took some, heading up for a nap.  The others could be entertaining, he just wanted a rest.  "Why did I want children?" he muttered as he walked.

A True Thieves' Paradise.

Xander looked at the woman across from him.  "Now, you understand fully what this job entails, correct?"  She nodded, staring him down.  "You understand why you're going, why you're being paid all of that?"  She nodded again.  "You understand that you will be going for an exam today, which does include bloodwork, and that you'll be getting another one on board the ship?  That you'll have to stay clean and sober, and that from this point on there's no working until we land, right?"  She nodded again.  "Any questions?"

"An exam on the ship?"

"To make sure you're still clean, another blood test to make sure you haven't gotten any STD's and another pelvic to make sure of the same thing."

"Fine. I can agree to that.  I understand why.  What about the guys?"

"Are all snipped and clipped," he told her. "Including the ones coming to join your merry crew."

She smirked at that.  "Fine.  I can understand that.  I've heard rumors about what you're like.  What about accommodations?"

"Once they're finished being built, there's going to be a small high-rise apartment complex. Six apartments per floor, that's a two-room for everyone.  Your choice with whoever you're with where you do whatever you do.  There, the jungle, the main house, all that is free- roam unless the four actual children are present."

"That's fine.  When are they due to be finished?"

"By the time we land.  If they're not, I've got a mini-motel area set up for the kids to have space to themselves to work.  Melissa needed a new lab anyway," he said dryly.  "They'll be renovating those afterward."

"That's fine. We can live in a motel for a few days.  The main house?"

"Already built.  I was there just a few weeks ago, everything looks quite nice and clean.  There are storm and tsunami protections in place already.  I'll be going over that, the map of the island, and all that on the shipride over.  We'll do an orientation the day or so before we land.  That way you know where the clothing optional versus the clothing mandatory beach is.  That one'll be a safe beach for the four kids to be on."

"Agreed, I don't like kids."

Xander smirked. "They may like you.  Fred's thirteen, Kenji's twelve, Alex and Yu are both eleven.  They may want but you are to resist.  Especially Fred, who likes to pick up working girls to nuzzle now and then already.  He's a Lupin," he sighed.  She laughed at that.  "If we're agreed, sign on the line and you're mine for a year."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll get me too," she said dryly, signing on the line.  "You know, there's a few girls I could recommend, especially some of the newer ones who haven't become jaded and things yet."

"That might be nice," he admitted.  "We've got room for about another fourteen or fifteen, but that'll leave a few apartments open in case someone like Ishi finds someone he wants to bring."

"That's fine.  I'll have 'em talk to your lawyer guy.  He seemed pretty sweet."

"Oh, he is, but alas, you have none of the equipment he likes."

"Ah."  She winked and nodded.  "Gotcha.  Okay, I go today?"

He handed over a card.  "Call that number, make an appointment as soon as possible.  They know you're going to work overseas.  Since you are female, you'll be talking to them about birth control as well, though anyone who's not snipped, like Ishi or Goemon, must use a condom.  Got it?"  She nodded.  "Good girl."  He gathered up the papers, putting them in his briefcase.  "Once you've passed the test, the cashier's check will arrive at your door via a courier.  That should be about a week after your test.  Any other questions?"

"No, honey.  You're good."

Xander smirked.  "I have to be.  This is the only way I can keep my mate from needing to stray."  He stood up.  "Finish lunch, I already paid for it."  He winked and walked off, heading out to his car and back to his hotel room.  This plan had been brewing for a while and it was nearly finished.  Murami had thrown a fit about it, but he had made her see why he was doing it.  She still hated it, but she wasn't in charge of anything over it.  He had a special lawyer that he was blackmailing over it.  The man loved his horses too much and had been captured on film.  So Lavelle was going to use him for this interesting project.  Once everything was set up, he'd be released from service and handed the blackmail material.  Though he knew he wasn't going to forget.  Only a few more months and everything would be fine and set up fully.  Then they could start a year-long vacation getting the kids ready for the Academy.  Even if Lupin and Jigen didn't know it yet.

***

Xander looked at his new harem, smiling at the girls who were giving the guys sideways looks.  "I know, but some of us do like both and there are younger adult daughters," he pointed out.  They all looked at him.  "Hi, I'm Lavelle."  Some of them waved and the rest smiled.  "I hired most of you directly.  Some went through my attorney.  Did anyone have any questions before we start?"

"The guys, are they tested?" one of the girls asked.

"They are, and they've all been snipped," he assured her.  "You can play with them if you want, but remember what you're there for."  She nodded at that, looking pleased.  "As of this moment, you're on my cruise ship, one of three ways to get onto and off the island.  There will be monthly cruises back for anyone who changes their mind or has to opt out early due to family problems or something.  Each of you, within about two weeks according to the contracting crew, will have your own apartment.  Until then, there's a small motel- like area that the kids are going to be renovating into labs and play areas for themselves.  Sorry, but the workers got a bit behind on me due to a storm."  That got some nods.

"Those who need to can stay on the ship for a few days.  The other ways off the island are the other cruise ship, which belongs to Lupin the Fourth, again it will be running out about once a month.  There's also a helicopter.  Now, in each of your apartments is a tv hooked up to a satellite.  There's a computer hooked into the same satellite, and there's a phone hooked into our special communications satellite.  They will be furnished, painted, some carpeted and some wooden floored.  There will be a full kitchen, a full bath with a very nice tub, and at least a bedroom.  Some of them do have two in case you wanted to share, and the triplets have one of the bottom apartments since they needed the room.  The first four floors have only four apartments per floor, the uppers have six apartments per floor.  The bottom ones are for speccialists, the triplets, and people like the masseuse and the trainer."  The girls nodded at that, and the guys looked impressed.  "I've put a lot of thought into this plan.  I provided everything I could want and I think you could want.  Now, let's move to the building map?"  They got up and moved over to the mockup of the buildings.

"Okay, this is the one being constructed," he noted, pointing at the glass sides.  "As you can see, little tiny apartments in there, and in the center of the bottom floor is a cafeteria.  You can eat in or take out or take up to your apartments.  There's a small store and grocery store the next level up.  Again, take what you need, it's there for you guys. It's not like a super walmart but it's got most everything I think you'll need.  There's an older woman here.  Delores?"  She raised her hand. "She's like the dorm mother.  She's in charge of menus in the caf, the cleaning staff that comes in once a week to do the apartments, and the store.  You let her know."  Everyone looked at her.  "Delores, you get left, front apartment.  The masseuse is behind you.  The trainer is on the other side in the front and the other one's empty.  Next floor up is the triplets, they're right front.  Got it?"  Everyone nodded.  "The cleaning crew has their own house a bit away.  There's no predators bigger than a bunny rabbit and some squirrel sized things.  Lots of birds, some fish in the ponds and in the river and the lake.  The whole island is ours, guys.  You can roam, it's safe."  That got more nods and some smiles.  "This is the main building," he said, pointing at that building.  "As you can see, standard living spaces.  Family room with big screen tv, offices - mine, Lupin the Third's, Lupin the Fourth's, and a spare one for Melissa, Ishi, or Lupin the Second if he ends up joining us.  No worries, he's ninety-six and a half."  That got some light laughter.

"Bedrooms are in suites.  Goemon's," he said, flipping the switch to light them up.  "He's in blue.  The kids', the young kids', is in black.  Mine's in green, and mine is mine, Lupin the Third's, and Jigen's, Arsene's is in blue.  Melissa's is in pink, and she'd hate me for saying that.  Ishi's is in yellow and Lotus's is in white.  Marcus, when and if he shows up again, will be in the brown room, Lupin the Second in the red room, and the others are spare and guest rooms.  It's modeled on the one in France, but has bigger windows that let in breezes.  Remember, if there are any guests, you do not have to touch them.  We won't encourage it, we won't force it, we're not going to guilt trip you into it. That's all up to you.  I wouldn't mind if someone took Ray into hand and made him a happy guy when and if he shows up, but I'm not going to *make* anyone do it.  Understood?"  They all nodded at that.  "Good.  Let's move onto the general map."  They moved over and he lit it up.  "The black beach is the clothing mandatory.  The blue one is the clothing optional.  The paths are outlined and cut into the jungles, and one of the cleaning crew will be a gardener who'll maintain them and any grass or grottos we might have.

"Notice the red bumps.  Those are the access ports once the storm shield is up. The shield is basically a metal snail shell that can be flipped up and used to cover everything that's in red oval.  The red bumps are access ports in case you get stuck outside.  Basically, a concrete door, two steps down, two steps across, two steps up and into another concrete door."  Everyone nodded at that.  "It has been tested, in miniature, up to a thousand psi of wind and six feet of water against the sides.  It held, in miniature.  They assure me it will hold in case of a storm.  If not, there's a hermetically sealed storm shelter in the basement of each building.  It will keep the water out.  The apartment building's is meant to hold two people for every apartment and there's cots and freeze dried food down there.  There's an alarm siren that we'll show you when we run a drill as soon as everyone's moved in.  Okay?"  They all nodded. "Good.  Any questions?"

"The children?" Delores asked.

"Have a nanny but I'm expecting them to peak and at least Fred to try.  He's thirteen, he's hired pros a few times to nuzzle their breasts.  The others are twelve and eleven.  So I'm thinking looking might very well be an option.  If you catch them, report them.  Report them to Delores, any adult, or any staff member.  There's a special phone up to the main house in each apartment and outside each building in case you need us.  By the way, your phones will have two hundred minutes free and clear for overseas calls.  Anything other than that, I'm assuming most of you bought phone cards?"  Everyone nodded.  "That way you can call more if you want and there's a counter on the phones to tell you how long you talked.  It's even got a memory feature if you forget."  That got some smiles. "Cable's free, radio's spotty now and then, but there's ten music channels on the tv in addition to the Music Choice system, which can play crappy songs now and then."  That got some chuckles.  "They do."  He shrugged.  "Did I forget anything?"

"Will we get maps?"

"Maps are going to be on the door of each apartment.  They are removable in case you wanted to go for a hike or something.  The island's not really tiny but it's about a day and a half to walk across from what I'm told. All the paths lead back to one of the two main buildings or the beaches and as I said, no predators in the jungles.  Maybe some monkeys, I'm not sure.  We had a few but I think one of the workers got pissed when it kept stealing screws, nuts, and bolts on him.  Oh, there will be small watercraft, jet skis, paddle boats, things like that at the marina, which is where we'll be landing.  There'll also be a few at the lake.  If we find out we need more at the lake, I'll gladly move them there.  The first food shipment is coming with us, it's in the hold, and so are the cooks.  The rest of it will be with the rest of the family when they show up in a few weeks on Lupin the Fourth's ship.  Remember, you guys were picked for more than being pretty and nice.  Ishi likes to talk to people.  Don't be embarrassed if Fred asks you questions about where you're from.  He likes to travel and thinks it'll help him later on during jobs.  Let me or Delores know if you need anything at all.  Oh, and ladies, if you're having a..."  He coughed.  "Womanly moment, there's a green switch on your wall.  Kindly flip it.  That way Delores knows to increase your hot water allotment and to ensure that there's something with chocolate or ice cream.  I know some of you know Sylvia or have seen Sylvia, she's the same way and has the same demands."  That got some titters and some hurt looks.

"Not everyone needs it, but this way we know who does and can take steps.  The water allotment isn't that bad.  It's enough to take about seven showers or fill the bathtub twice a day."  They stared at him.  "The tubs are really nice," he offered with a grin.  "I know Sylvia likes to soak when she's having hers, that way you won't throw off the water system and we can keep track of it and even it out after a few months. Please?"  They nodded at that.  "Thank you.  By the way, yes, the store will have supplies for those who need them, in a few different brands and by a few different means.  Remember, we're still starting up so we're going to over-budget and over-plan until we're sure exactly where normal limits lie.  That's why we're doing the average water allotment.  We have our own treatment system to desalinate from the ocean, but we don't want to run it all day if we don't have to.  So we'll use these first two months to gauge where we need to be for production and how many hours a day that is.  We also have our own electric plant based on hydroelectric power from one of the rivers that has a waterfall.  All the lines are underground.  Again, if we don't have to run it all day every day, then we'd like not to, but if we have to, we have to.  We just need to know for sure."  They all nodded at that.  "Any other questions?"

"Dress code?" one of the guys asked.

"Please wear something to at least cover your genitals, and for ladies breasts as well, enough to not shock or horrify the kids if you run into them on the paths.  Except for on the clothing optional beach.  So, speedos, bikinis if you're that sure of your body.  Thongs if you must but please wear a wrap off the beach.  Also, we do have sunscreen available by the drum.  Please use it so we don't have to tend to too many burned sensitive areas.  There will be a doc and a nurse on duty in case something happens.  Plus, the helicopter can get you to a major medical center within forty minutes."  That got smiles.  "We have hopes that no one gets hurt, but we're realistic among other things."  He smiled.  "If there's nothing else, let's go eat.  The new cook is trying to please us with his creations today.  The dining hall is still downstairs and off toward the front."  They trooped out, talking about the island and the benefits.  It was nice.  Sixty grand for the first year, ten grand if they stayed on for each additional year.  Health club, beaches, libraries, tv, apartments, free food and laundry, cleaning services, everything they could want.  It was a sweet deal just to sleep with a bunch of people.

Xander beamed at himself in a mirror.  "I think this is going to work out just great," he said happily, heading back to his room to grab a book and go down to lunch.  He liked to read while eating.

***

Arsene cleared her throat, making the family look at her.  "Guys, announcement time."  Everyone quit chatting and put down their glasses and forks.  "As you all know, Mom's new plan has been hatched, is in full swing, and we're heading there to look it over.  What you don't know is that this is our newest home.  Possibly our permanent home.  Dad, Uncle Jigen.  Melissa, Ishi."  She smiled at them.  "Tomorrow, we'll be docking on Xander's new island.  His harem if you will."  They all gaped en masse.  She nodded, smirking at them.  "Indeed.  He managed to make it happen.  I looked over the plans myself.  The women, and men, 'Lis, have signed up for a year's contract knowing what they were going to be getting into.  They've all been tested, are clean and clear, and the guys have been snipped.  The ladies are on birth control.  Daddies, I hear you've been snipped as well."  She smiled at them.  "Thank you for that.  I don't need more siblings.  Fred's more than enough, really.  We have our house, they have an apartment complex.  The whole island is ours to run on.  There's no predators in the woods, Uncle Goemon, but there is fishing and a lake and some hiking trails and rivers and things like that.  I have the map here.  By the way, there is a clothing *mandatory* beach, which is the only one the kids are allowed on.  Yes, Fred, you are included.  There is a clothing optional beach, which Mom said you will be beaten if you're found near before you're sixteen."  Fred quit drooling.

"The rest of the island is pretty muchly wear something covering enough and wear sunscreen.  'Lis, your chain bikini is permissible here off the clothing optional beach."  She got up and walked over to a wall, opening the cabinet to show the tv and turning on both it and the VCR to show the plans.  "This is the main house.  Notice it looks awfully familiar, dad."  They got up to come look.  She paused the tape.  "Color coded, key's at the bottom. A bit smaller than the house in France."

"We have a masseuse?" Lotus asked.

"He's part of the paid staff," Arsene told her.  "Him, the cleaning crew, the dorm mother at the apartments."  She looked at them.  "We ready to go on?"  Ishi nodded so she started the tape again.  "Anything black on any map is coded safe for the kids.  Here's the apartment complex.  Notice there's not a black spot on it, guys.  Here it is level-by-level.  And here's the library, which is very nice and close to the lake and all three other buildings.  There's a small former motel that was moved there for us to renovate, Melissa.  That way we could have workrooms outside the house to escape to."  The final image, the map of the island popped up.  "Here you go, the map.  Uncle Goemon, notice there's a green area out in the woods.  That is your hut.  And it is a hut according to mom.  That way you can escape, take the boys for training, all that stuff.  That river holds the hydroelectric module to give us power.  The desalinization plant is on the western shore, near the clothing optional beach."

"What're the red spots?" Jigen asked.

"Those are entrances if the storm shield comes up.  It's like a snail's shell over most of the important bits.  Uncle G, your hut isn't covered, but there's a good cave system behind the waterfalls holding the generators."  He nodded at that.  "Mom said a miniature was tested and did hold, but in case there's a bunker underneath each building that is sealed.  Well, the library seals itself really.  Inside the bunkers are clothes, food, bunk beds, the usual stuff for storm shelters.  They are tightly sealed with submarine technology.  Each building has enough room for double the amount of occupants each building should hold.  By the way, we're bringing the library and the rest of the food with us.  The ladies and men went with Mom a few weeks back on his ship.  Mom called the night before we left and said to come ahead since the apartments were all finished.  Everything's done. I will tell you that they're there for our pleasure but if someone nosy shows up, like say Uncle Stan, then they do not have to touch them.  They are not to touch Yu, Kenji, Fred, or Alex.  The only alcohol on the island is some light wines, mostly used at the dinner table or in cooking.  Sorry, Uncle Jigen."

"I can live without it," he promised.

"Good. We've also got a small tobacco farm set up in the middle of the jungle.  There's little grottos here and there, plus the apartments, the main house, and all that good stuff.  The lake and the marina both have jet skis and paddle boats for pleasure and Mom said if there's not enough at the lake he'd move some.  Marcus does have a room if and when he shows up.  Grandfather has a room if and when he shows up."  Lupin smiled at that.  "Did I leave out any of the important things?"

"Are we running a drill when we get there?" Lotus asked.

"The others have already run one.  We may get one next month.  There may be one a month I'm not sure yet.  Basically we can do anything that doesn't require snow here.  And Mom's thinking about an indoor ski ramp anyway," she offered with a grin.  "We'll be landing tomorrow morning.  Dad, Mom was being entirely practical when he said he didn't expect to see you for the first month.  Uncle G, Dad did say that he found a very nice, polite young woman who was very sweet and was a Buddhist who would probably love to just sit and talk with you now and then.  No pressure, he said."  Goemon nodded at that.  "He did say that he didn't expect to see me, daddy, and possibly Ishi for the first few weeks but that there were spare rooms in case we found someone we wanted to bring along as long as they followed the rules and did all the testing."  She clapped her hands.  "Let's finish dinner, people.  I'll need my strength.  There's fifteen guys there who haven't met me yet."

Lupin the Third wiped his drool off as he looked at Jigen.  "Should we praise or punish for being this naughty?"

"He said he was going to make sure that we would not be leaving him ever again," he noted dryly.  "Not even you'll want to leave the island. This'll give us a year to get the kids ready for the Academy."

"Yeah, that too," he agreed happily, sounding dazed.  "Wow.  My very own harem."

"No, Xander's very own harem," Goemon said dryly, smirking at him.  "And he can punish you by not allowing you near them now."

"I'll let him tie me up and paddle me black-and-blue for this," Lupin assured him happily.  "Hot damn, I knew you were right to take in Xander, Jigen."

"Thanks, man, really."  He sat down at his place at the table, considering it.  It might not be so bad.  The girls would be clean.  Lupin and Xander could whore all they wanted.  Lupin the Fourth could whore around all she wanted without them having to worry about a Lupin the Fifth.  So could the other older kids.  He noticed Fred pouting.  "Three more years, kid.  Then you can join the fun."

"Fine, spoil my natural libido," he complained, pushing his plate back.

"As long as you pout like that, you can't have sex," Lupin the Fourth reminded him.  "We had to wait until we were sixteen, even Ishi.  So do you."

"But...."

"No, son.  Sixteen is the limit the adults agreed upon long ago.  We're sticking to it," Lupin the Third said firmly.  "Deal with it and move on. You can still look now and then.  There's a whole beach you can lounge on when you're not in lessons."

"Yes, father."

"Thank you, son."  He grinned at him.  "When you're sixteen, the day after, we'll let you run down there and not come back up for a few weeks."

"Sure.  If it's still ongoing at that time."

"It will be.  Xander tends to plan for the future," Jigen reminded him.  "He doesn't often do short-term plans."

"Especially not setting up his own little country here," Goemon agreed.  "He has everything but immigration and prisons."

"He won't need it," Ishi pointed out.  "Will we have individual maps?"

"Yup, and they'll be downloaded into our phones once we get there," Arsene promised.  "We'll be met at the marina by Mom and possibly a welcoming committee, he wasn't sure.  Then we're here until we leave for our next job."

"Why do I have the feeling that we're taking a year off?" Jigen asked Goemon.

"I had the same feeling but it would help the children train."

"Point," he agreed.  "Range, Arsene?"

"Will be behind the house.  It's not fully completed yet.  You'll have an indoor and an outdoor.  Plus we'll have a golf setup at the same time."

"Interesting," Lupin noted.  "How did he find this island?"

"Someone died.  He bought it off some sheik's estate.  He had it with almost nothing on it but mom's really improved it tastefully from the aerial photos I've seen during construction.  Everything looks very natural, like it's been there for a few years."

"This beats retiring to Miami," Jigen joked.

"It so very muchly does," Lupin agreed, starting to grin.  "I love you all but I'm going to explore for the first few days."

"We know, daddy," Fred assured him.  "We'll see you when you've got through all the women."

"Okay, I'm wondering here.  Whose birthday present was this?" Ishi asked.

"Xander's," everyone else said mostly together.

***

The ship was met at the marina by Xander and most of the lovers on the island, earning big smiles.

"Oh, my God, it's Thomas!" Arsene shouted, hurrying down to hug him.  "Why are you here?"

"Lavelle saved me from a boring existence, Arsene."  He smiled and winked at her.  "Shall we wander off?"

"Sure.  Give me ten to get my bags.  'Lis, Lotus, Ishi, this is Thomas. *That* Thomas."

"The one who broke her in?" Melissa asked, shaking his hand.  "A pleasure to meet you.  I hear quite a lot of the results of your work each and every night."  He laughed at that, giving her a hug.  "Oooh, you do smell good."  She sniffed again.  "Very nice."  She let him go.  "Perhaps after Arsene's had her moment with you, you'll spare some for me?"

"I'd be delighted.  I like women with senses of humor."  He noticed Lotus blushing.  "We're here just to talk to if you wanted," he promised.  He took Arsene's hand when she came back, walking her off. "Where would you like to see?"

"Wherever you want to get horizontal, man.  I want cuddles."

"My apartment it is then, at least for now."  He walked her on, taking her the short way.  She was nearly vibrating, she needed him bad.

Lupin the Third rushed down, pausing to let his tongue hang out when he saw all the pretty women.  Two of them were twins though and he made his way to them, noticing how much they looked like a young Fujiko.  "Wow," he said, staring at them.  "I know someone who looks just like you."

"So Lavelle said," one of them offered, the other giggling.  "There's a third but she's sweet and gentle, not like us."

"Oh, damn, I may die," he whispered, walking them off.  "Take me to your leather.  I mean, leader.  Or just the bed."  They giggled again and led him off.

Goemon came down and shielded both younger son's eyes.  "Sorry, they are quite young."

"This is appropriate clothing.  We're going to desensitize them, Goemon. Let 'em go."  He stole the boys and watched them stare.  "Get used to it, boys.  You're going to see it every day until you do not drool, you can control your hormones around them, and you will not react when you see a nipple."  They hugged him and bowed at his feet before heading off with Lotus.  "You too, Fred and Alex."  They bowed at his feet too, Fred even kissing them, before following the other two.  "Geomon, I want you to meet someone.  Yasmin?"  She stepped forward and Goemon was struck dumb.  "She answered my ad," he said quietly.  "I know you see what I did.  She's one of a set of triplets, but she's the sweet and innocent one Arsene was suppose to tell you about.  She's pure, she's sweet, she's happy, and she agreed to come here just to meet you."  He gave him a light shove when he didn't move, and Goemon walked over to her, picking her up and carrying her off.  He winked at the one nearest him.  "She looks just like his former wife."

"Ah.  The other one took the other two."

"Yeah, Fujiko used to be Lupin's girl but she ended up marrying Goemon and giving him all the kids.  They'll be talking for hours."  He looked at Jigen, who was just standing there, staring. "Hi, Jigen," he said with a little smirk.  "Hey, Ishi?"  Ishi came out with his things, stopping beside Jigen to stare too.  "Guys and girls, these two are Jigen and Ishi.  That should be everybody unless Lupin the Second showed up?"  Ishi mutely shook his head.  "I promise, they only bite when you ask."

"So this is what heaven's like," Ishi said in a dazed voice.  A few of the girls giggled and came up to walk him off.  Jigen got a few others walking him off.

Xander waved a hand at the workers.  "Go for it, guys."  They got to work unloading the ship.  "Thanks, guys.  Let me know if I forgot anything for you and your families."

"Yes, sir," one of them agreed.  "So far so good.  Library and food?"

"Mostly.  Maybe the medical bay as well."  He shrugged. "The captain has the list."  He walked off, taking his cutie of the house back for some fun and games at the lake.  He deserved it, he had done good.

***

Inspector Zenigata looked at his men, and women, and frowned.  "Something's going on.  No one's seen one single Lupin hair for the last three months.  Not his, not the kids', not Lavelle's, no one in that group.  They must be planning something."

Stanley Kowalski, one of his inspectors and one of Xander's closest friends, coughed.  "Um, nope," he offered.  He shifted when everyone looked at him.  "Xander's been working on the retirement plan, sir.  Um, how to put this delicately."  He looked up, then at his wife, who could only giggle, so he looked at his boss again.  "Xan's bought an island off the estate of a sheik and set up a playground and harem.  They're all there getting the kids ready for their first year of school in Italy."

"Excuse me?" Dawn asked.  "Repeat that please, this time in English?"

"He did what?" Ray Vecchio demanded, staring him down.  "Where did you hear this?"

"Xander," he said simply.  "I've got the map on my computer.  Of course, I'm not goin'.  I'm a married guy, I can't go to the place that's got sixty women and fifteen guys just waitin' ta play with the family, and only the family. If we show up, Xander said that we're not to be touched unless they wanted to."

"So, let me get this straight," Zenigata said sarcastically.  "He *bought* people?"

"No, he's got some people on yearly contract," he told him.  "Just like employees.  He's converted the island into his own little playground of sex and lust.  It's their retirement place so Lupin and Jigen won't get bored."

"Xander said in Chicago that he needed to build a harem to keep Lupin and Jigen from leaving him some day," Ray said bitterly.  "So they're on contract?"  He nodded.  "Like hired them for the whole year?" Stan nodded.  "Who would do that?"

"Sixty grand the first year, ten each additional year," he said dryly.  "Free health care, free food, free rent, free sex with the option of telling someone no, free tv, free lake, free jungle, free beaches.  Free library."  Dawn gaped and let out a small whimper.  "Training areas, wild areas for Goemon to go hide in.  Sixty girls and fifteen guys there for pleasure and fun.  It's like one'a those tapes only interactive and better because it's more'n tit shots."

"Can they come home when they want?" Emmajean asked.

"Yeah, there's a monthly ship out for supplies and there's a 'copter there too," Stan assured her.  "Everyone got the first month to decide and if they have to back out due to family stuff, they're allowed to go and he'll only prorate the sixty grand a bit. They got at least forty as long as they stayed for at least a month.  They get so many minutes a month free ta call anyone they want too.  It's a sweet deal. If I needed cash and liked guys that way, I'd be there in a heartbeat."

"My cousin would kill you," Bix said firmly, making him grin.  He knew Goemon would destroy him and turn him into mulch if he disrespected her.

"Of course only if I were single.  He had everyone tested for drugs and diseases.  There's almost no liquor on the island.  He had everyone given a full physical and the guys all got snipped and the girls all got put on birth control before they went.  He planned it out very carefully.  Technically, the island is private property in a group of islands that's really unclaimed territory because most of them are too small to live on.  There's no immigration to it unless you're on contract or you're hired for some of the staff, like the trainer or the masseuse, who had to be replaced last month.  She got hurt and hated the idea of the island anyway.  She's the one who brought me the map.  Xan told her to."

"Okay, so they're not planning anything?" Zenigata demanded.

"Pleasure, some retirement time to work with the kids.  More pleasure.  I hear Lupin actually came home to Xan after two weeks instead of the month everyone thought.  Melissa's got her own workstation there.  Arsene's got one.  Lupin the older's got one.  I was invited out to look around and make sure it's all legit, but I'm married."

Zenigata looked at Ray.  "You're not."

"No, sir, I'm not," he agreed. "It's not my sort of scene either."

"So?  That means you won't get sucked in and stay.  Go there, see what's going on, get Xander to tell you what he's planning next."

"Yes, sir.  Should I call first, Stan?"

"Unless you plan on swimming, yeah," he said dryly.  "Only ways in are 'copter and ship."

"Fine.  Write him an email for me telling him I'm coming."

"Sure, but I won't word it that way so you don't get picked on," he promised, turning his laptop around to write that note out.  He found a pop-up message from Jigen.  "They know.  Meet 'em at the private plane airport in Hong Kong in four days.  They're flying in a new cook to add to the staff."

"Sure," Ray agreed.  He headed home to pack.  He decided on shorts, some light pants and a few shirts.  Nothing too informal.  Nothing that'd make it seem like he was on vacation too.  Because he definitely didn't want to be on vacation somewhere like that.  No, not him.

***

Ray stepped off the helicopter, ducking under the rotors and out of the way of the cook.  Jigen nodded at him and pulled the cook aside, saying something to her and pointing at the jeep.  She smiled, shook his hand, and headed that way.  Jigen turned to look at him. "Sorry, lunch time."

"Not a problem," Ray agreed, following him to another jeep.  "She heading to a different spot?"

"She'll be working in the caf and the little stand by the lake," he explained.  "I figured you wanted to go up to the house."

"Yeah, please.  Zenigata nearly freaked when he heard what your boy had done."

"He did it out of love," Jigen said fondly.  "He wanted to make sure we wouldn't stray without permission.  This is his idea of permission."

"It's many men's idea of permission," he joked weakly, looking around.  "Any wild animals?"

"A few monkeys, a few birds, some fish in the lake and the rivers.  Nothing bigger than a squirrel and some deer he recently imported."  He turned onto another small track.  "This is one of two roads on the island.  Everything else is walking or bike trails.  The other road's from the marina for supplies and stuff."

"I got the map off Stan."  He looked at the apartment building.  "That's tasteful."

"It is. Some of them will let you into their apartments, some won't and they'll use the empty ones. Some'll only do you up at the house in your room.  Some like outdoors.  It's nice.  In a perverted and odd way."

"Yeah, it's definitely perverted.  "You beat your boy yet for this stunt?"

"Hell no," Jigen snorted.  "Lupin's happy.  We're working with the kids.  No snow aches this year.  We can head off for a job if we want to.  This is Paradise, Lupin style."

"Yeah, well, you better hope no country claims this little Thieve's Paradise of yours, Jigen.  Or else you'll be in trouble.  This much prostitution?  Taxes?  Doesn't this bother him?"

"Xander?" he asked dryly.  "Probably not. It's unclaimed.  We checked.  No one really wants us.  They'd have to take care of the other islands and some of them show pollution damage.  The closest we get to outsiders is some fishers off the other coast."  He pulled up in front of the house.  "Here we are.  Last time I knew, Xander was working on the food order in his study."

"Thanks."  He got out and headed that way until a woman stopped him.  "Don't.  I'm a cop."

She smiled and played with the buttons on his shirt and then his belt.  "Lavelle forbid us from touching any guests unless we absolutely wanted to.  I don't get paid for you, dear, I just think you're cute."  She kissed him again, stunning him so she could move down to suck him.  She groaned as the fingers latched into her hair and did her best ever on him.  He came with a growl and she gave him little kitten licks to clean him up.  "There, much better," she offered, standing up to kiss him again.  "I feel much better now and you look happier, sexy.  I love a slightly older man."  She kissed him again, and he grabbed on, giving it all he had.  She pulled back with a smile, winking at him.  "Call me.  I'm Melusia."  She walked past Jigen, pinching him on the butt. "Cutie."

Jigen stared after her, then looked at Ray.  "She really is forbidden to touch you unless she wants.  Lupin had her once or twice but then ended up with the twins who look a lot like Fujiko when she was twenty. She won't touch Ishi and she likes me but I'm wary of her exhibitionist nature."

"Wow," Ray said, looking pleased.  "I still got it."  He hit himself on the forehead.  "Ma will be so pissed."

"No she won't.  She'll want you to use this as a distraction but find a good girl to bring home to her," Xander said from behind him, giving Ray a hug.  "Hi.  Welcome to our retirement village."  He walked him off, taking him up to his room. "This is yours.  I didn't figure I could get Stan to come.  Goemon would probably try to cut him open with a can opener."  He gave him another hug.  "It's all right. You don't have to give in unless you want to, Ray."  He pinched him on the cheek.  "Come down to the office once you've unpacked."  He walked off, only walking a bit funny.

Ray shook his head, closing the door so he could unpack.  "Talk about fantasy islands."

***

"So, Uncle Ray, did you come to join the staff?" Arsene teased, handing him the corn.

"One, I'm not that good looking.  Two, I'm still a cop.  Becoming paid for this stuff while being a cop means I'd be fired and then sent to jail."

"I think you're adorable," Melissa assured him, leaning closer to kiss him on the cheek.  "You could definitely be on the staff here, if only as the masseuse if you wanted.  You or Uncle Stan."  Goemon growled at that.  "I'm sure he wouldn't stray."

"He'd better not," he assured her.

"Stan wouldn't come so he wouldn't be tempted," Ray assured him.  "That's why I got to come."

"How many times now?" Arsene teased.  "We ask to keep careful records."

"Daughter!" Lupin the Third said, looking shocked.

"'Scuse her, Ray," Jigen apologized. "She's on the rag and the lack of sex is making her funny."

"I'm told they make drugs for that," he said firmly, staring the young woman down.  She only grinned at him. "If we were home, I'd have Zenny spank you for that."

"But his wife might get mad if he took up with a younger woman," Ishi teased.

Lotus coughed into her napkin.  "Excuse him, too much sex does apparently rot the brain," she apologized.

"Not a problem," Ray assured her.  "I've heard worse from Xander."

"No fair!  Just because he's a boy he shouldn't get away with the bad sex jokes," Arsene complained.

"He didn't.  His wasn't a bad sex joke, just lame," Lotus told her.

"I resent that," Ishi complained.

"Hush, both of you," Melissa snapped.  They both grinned at her.  "And yes, I did have some today, thank you muchly.  You two try the patience of saints."

"Yeah, well, some days we're just mini Xander's," Arsene offered smugly.

"Just like you should be, oh great daughter of Sylvia," Ishi teased.

"I can be but I don't do it with company presently. Who do you think it was helping you put up those vibrators in your dad's room?"  Goemon sighed.  "Sorry, Uncle."

"It's not a problem, children.  I had no idea they came in such sizes and colors.  It simply stunned me for a few moments."

Ray snorted. "It'd stun me to wake up with more dicks in my room too," he agreed.

"You know, we always thought that you and Uncle Stanley would make a cute couple, or trio with Auntie Bix," Arsene offered with a sweet smile.

"There was even betting on it there for a while among the bulletin boards," Melissa agreed.

Jigen reached down to swat the back of her head.  "Shut up."

"Sorry, daddy."

"You mean they thought me and Stan....." he trailed off.  "Really?"

"The majority of opinions had you giving and him receiving and begging for it," Lotus told him.  "Then they saw you with mom and heard the rumors you had put out for that cover and decided you were so straight you're the one who made Uncle Stan's hair stand up every morning.  His was unrequited lust."

"Then he got married so now they think he's bi," Ishi finished.

"So, had any midnight visitors?" Lupin the Third teased with a bright grin.

"Hell no," Ray said shortly.  "Bix would kill him.  Besides, he's a tough little guy."

"Who's a lover," Lupin the Third reminded him. "He'd probably be one to beg for it."

"Only from his exwife while they were married," Ray said dryly.

"We heard about chilly and frosty woman from Turnbull the last time we ran into him," Lotus agreed.  "Apparently she had to depose him or something and he was quite scared of the fiercest demon in training. I hope she didn't ruin Uncle Stan for a real woman's touch.  He needs someone who's soft and gentle on him after her.  Fortunately Bix is very good at reading him and giving him what he needs."

"Should we send her the strapons then?" Arsene joked.

"Stan is not gay," Ray assured them, telling himself not to blush. "Bix is already one scary woman when she wants to be," he offered.  "She's already spanked him once that I heard."  He sipped some of his wine.  "Ah, I tested this vintage."

"You did and it turned out excellent," Xander praised, grinning at him.  "Kids, enough.  If Stan was gay, he would have hit on me.  He hasn't yet so I'm guessing he's not."

"Switch topics to something more inclusive," Goemon ordered.

"Fine," Melissa agreed.  "Uncle Ray, would you like to join me at the lake tomorrow?  It's got one of the prettiest views on the island."

"Sure, Melissa.  I'd like that.  You can show me around while Xander figures out how to dance around the fact that this is going to get him into trouble."

"It is not," Xander said firmly.  "No one else knows about this place but you guys."

"And the lawyer," Lupin the Third reminded him.

"He crashed his car into his house and stables," Xander told him.  "Someone else found out about his thing for his horses."

"Do I want to know?" Ray asked.  Xander shook his head.  "Blackmail?"

"Limited only to having him working on the contract and helping me decide who was going to come."

"Fine," Ray agreed.  "He's dead, we can't get him anyway."  He stared at Xander. "You know I'll have to report that."

"It was more friendly teasing, Ray.  I gave him the pictures back."  He grinned at him.  "Who said you're going to remember when you step off the island?  Marcus is around somewhere and you know how much he likes going into heads to play."

"Yay, won't happen, Xander," he said firmly.

"Fine.  Try to spoil my fun," he said patiently.  "There's nothing Interpol can do while I'm here."

"Maybe," Ray corrected.  "Maybe not."

"No, we checked, there's no maybe about it," Melissa told him.  "While we're here, we can declare this to be sovereign territory.  Our rules, our country, our policies."  Ray gaped at her.  "We've already filed a petition with the UN as such.  We don't want a seat or anything, just recognition as a sovereign territory."

"That'll get you publicity."

"No it won't.  No one knows the person who filed," Melissa said dryly, smirking at him. "We're not quite that dumb, Uncle Ray.  Now behave or else I'll let Melusia sneak in tonight."  Ray blushed at that.  "It's okay. We understand. You're lonely. You have to listen to noisy little Stan now and then too.  It sucks.  We feel the same way about Lupin the Fourth sometimes."  She hugged his arm.  "It'll be okay.  Just enjoy yourself while you snoop around, Uncle Ray.  It'll be just fine."  He nodded, digging into his dinner to hide his blush.   "Sorry," she whispered.  He nodded, continuing to eat.

"So, Ray, how do you like our cook?"

"She's good.  It's not my Ma, right?"

"Nope, not your mother.  Though she does know.  Arsene told her and she blushed and cackled a bit, said it was probably the only way I'd keep my boys here too.  She said it was interesting but I'd better be good to those I hired.  I pointed out I was always good to them.  How's Frannie?"

"Fine.  She said to thank you for fixing her loan for her since she wasn't able to refinance and it suddenly went through anyway.  She said that was very nice of you but she wasn't going to date you or sleep with you, even though you were cute.  Welsh would get onto her if she did, but she did appreciate it."

"Not a problem," Xander said with a wave of his hand.  "It's part of my good deed for the year.  That and fixing up Turnbull."

"I saw him," Ray admitted.  "And Born.  How tall is he?"

"Six and a half," Melissa told him.  "Plus very skilled in many areas.  Including why Constable Turnbull couldn't sit I'm supposing."

"Well, he liked guard duty that day I suppose," Xander said dryly.  He winked at Ray.  "Relax.  Enjoy yourself.  You can file as many reports as you like from your room each night. Your door does lock."

"Sure.  Thanks."  He finished up and got seconds, digging in again.  Traveling always made him hungry.  The rest of the meal was teasing of Lupin, both of them, about how many times they disappeared into the brush with someone.  Later that night, he settled into his room to send back notes to the office, stopping when he heard a knock.  He saved everything down and put his laptop aside, getting up to answer the door.  What he found was not what he expected.  He let Melissa in, frowning at her until she kissed him.  "What are you doing?" he hissed.

"What I want to," she replied, doing it again, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I'm old enough to be your father," he muttered when he pulled back.

"Younger than that with all the youthening stuff," she reminded him.  "Shut up, Ray."  She kissed him again, making him moan and grab on.  She was definitely her mother's daughter.  She walked them backwards, landing on the bed.  He put his laptop onto the floor and dove back in, unable to resist.  "Oooh," she squealed when he bit her on the neck.  "That's why I came in here."  He looked up at her.  "I've always thought you were handsome and sexy, Ray.  I'm just built that way.  I like strong, smart, active men."  She kissed him again, drawing him back to her.  "Please?"

"Your father will kill me."

"I doubt it," she muttered.  "He's conked out on top of mom."   She kissed him again and he was lost, she could feel him giving in.  His hands were starting to explore and she let them.  She really did want this and him.  He moaned as he pulled back, moving back to her neck. "Please, Ray," she breathed.

"Nothing should take that short of time."

"I'm like mom, Ray.  I have mini ones."

"Ah."  He nodded, smirking at her.  "Not enough playthings?"

"Not that I favor.  They're decent enough but I need someone special, someone who understands a woman's body.  You understand them very well from what I've heard around."  She felt one hand drifting over her stomach.  "I need a man, Ray, not a toy."

"Fine.  This once, and I'm not going to be killed."

"Eh, what's he going to say?  He was out there sleeping with the Fujiko look-alike last night.  I'm grown and an adult.  Deal with it and please, move on," she finished with a cute grin.  "Please? I do know how to beg. I usually do too much of that to no end."

He kissed her again.  "You also babble."  He kissed her again, making sure she kept quiet for a bit or else he'd think this was more than a hallucination brought on by dinner.  It had to be one.  Girls like her didn't go for guys like him, not at his age.  They went for guys like Stan, who was ten years younger than him, but not guys like him.  He found himself on his back, staring up at her.

"Quit thinking.  Yes, some of us do like guys like you.  You're past that 'playing with fire' stage and moved on to being good lovers and steady men to be with."  She worked his shirt off him, then hers, leaning down to explore the moderately hairy chest.  She had always preferred older men for her fantasies.  Now she remembered why.  They *knew* women's bodies very well.  She was fully into it before they got any farther than just removing shirts, and he was proving his worth shortly afterward by making it all better and her less needy.

Down the hall, Ishi and Arsene were sharing a look. "I'm not telling her father," Arsene said abruptly, heading to her room.

"Me either," he agreed, heading for his and the nice young woman waiting in there for him.

Lotus pulled the pillow over her head when Melissa got loud, groaning into it.  "Why is she like her Mom?" she complained.

***

Ray was grabbed off the beach and drug a few feet away into the foliage by Ishi, who only stared at him.  "I'm not telling Jigen.  Arsene and I agreed we're not telling Jigen.  That's Melissa's thing and we agree, she could do worse.  You apparently do it for her so we're fine with that, for now.  If it becomes permanent we might have to say something, but for now, we're good with it.  Have fun, Ray."  He walked off, heading down to the water to play with the ladies.

Melissa stepped out of the brush.  "Sorry, didn't realize I was that loud last night."  She smiled at him when he flinched.  "It's all right," she soothed, pushing him into a nearby tree to kiss him stupid. "They all agreed apparently."

"What are you doing?  Just playing with fire?" he panted, looking down at her.

"Fire is two young lovers going at it in the back of a car; passion is two older lovers going at it anywhere they choose.  I'm past the playing with fire stage and so are you, Ray."

"You're still too young."

"My other two lovers, outside of the first one from school, were both older.  I prefer older, more experienced men who know what they're doing.  You're just a cute one."  She leaned in to nip at his neck and moaned, licking the spot to get all that warm, heated skin taste.  "You taste good."

Ray was trying to pull her off, that's why his hands were on her hips.  He was sure that's why his hands were on her hips.  That's why he didn't panic when Lupin the Third came out of the brush.

Lupin looked at them, then shook his head and walked off.  "Fine with us, Ray.  She's not exactly the little kid of the group anyway."

"Oh, shit," he muttered but she giggled, kissing him.  He momentarily forgot what he was doing and let her.  He pulled back, looking at her.  "Why me and why now?"

"I tried in the past but you weren't ready to see me," she told him.  "I tried in Cairo last year.  I tried in Paris earlier this year."  He moaned and shook his head.  "Let's face some facts, Ray.  I'm young, but I think at least five or ten years ahead of my age.  Guys my age don't have a lot of skills, skills which make things go much better and more pleasurably.  Even the most trained here have to be taught how to play my body like the fine instrument it is.  You didn't."  He groaned.  "Daddy, go away," she said firmly, noticing he was looking over her shoulder.  "And I mean it."

Jigen stomped on the cigarette that had fallen out of his mouth, looking at the odd couple.  "If he does it for you," he decided, "I can't complain unless you turn straight.  He's cute in his own way."  He walked off shaking his head, but one of the girls jumped him so he quickly forgot about having daughters.  That's two that had went after cops, was there something wrong in him as a father?

Ray looked at her.  "He looked heartbroken."

"He hopes I'm not going to do what my sister did or Dawn did."

"Would you?"

She shook her head.  "Nope.  Not even if I retire.  Then I'll just sit around and design gadgets and things."  She kissed him again.  "Besides, you wouldn't like me if I weren't the smartass I am," she reminded him when she pulled back, right before diving in again.

He pulled off.  "Probably true, but you're still under age."

"Not by European standards.  I'm of age.  I'm above age in some countries and in this country the age is sixteen.  So therefore, I'm old enough."  She kissed him again.  "And this is what I want."  He moaned and she went back to playing with the spot on his neck she had found last night, making him groan and arch into her mouth.  "Just give in, Ray," she whispered into the tan skin. "Please?"

"You're like a drug."

"I try," she offered with an impish grin.  She kissed him again.  He flipped them around, pushing her against the tree to have her.  This was better than a fantasy, he was doing just what she wanted.  She hopped up and put her legs around his waist, giving him total access to whatever he wanted of hers.  He chuckled and moved down to tease her nipples, making her moan.  She went to work on his belt and pants, getting them undone just enough and moved her bathing suit out of the way to impale herself on him.  He moaned and clutched her tighter, but went to work as she commanded.  Finally he couldn't take this gentle playing and pulled out, letting her onto her feet so he could turn her around and have her rest against the tree, taking her again, doing it harder and faster than she thought she needed, but like she really wanted.  She was mewling into his arm around her, kissing and biting it in turns.  She groaned as he worked her, getting off, he could feel it and it was good, so he finished himself off that way, leaning against her back.

"I'm in so much trouble," he muttered.

"No you're not."  She wiggled free and turned around to kiss him again.  "You're really not."  She kissed him again and got his pants redone enough so he could walk, leading him to a little napping grotto not far away.  It had a nice mossy spot and a few waterproof pillows out here to rest on.  He flopped down and she curled up beside him, head on his shoulder.  "You're not in trouble."

"I doubt Zenigata will see it that way."

"He didn't do more than look at Stan funny when someone told him Stan and Mom were having it off."

Ray snorted.  "That's because he couldn't see him as gay."

"Bet me," she said dryly.  "Everyone else can when he's in one of his cranky moods."  Ray chuckled at that.  "Even Bix."

"Yeah, she asked him that the last time, asked him if he was pregnant too with the way he was having mood swings."  He stroked over her back.  "This can't work out and I'm too old for a casual sex thing."

"You're not that old, Ray.  You're really not.  And we can do whatever you want."

"Yeah, well, I can't really date you since you're a crook and I'm a cop," he said patiently.  "No plans for that?"

"Said who?"  She looked up at him with a smug look. "You chase after me, I spend a hell of a lot of time teasing you, including at dinner and dancing."  She smirked and lay her head back down.  "This may sound selfish but I can do whatever in the hell I want about this thing between us.  Including break in some nights.  After all, you will need someone to help like mom does now and then, right?"

"Yeah," he agreed, smirking a bit.  "Gonna break in too?"

"If it's been too long, hell yeah," she agreed.  "So consider yourself being reassigned, Ray.  You're mine and some of those stupider crooks had better watch out."

Arsene walked in and flopped down on his other side, giving him a cuddle.  "If and when you need her, just ask, Ray.  I'll let her go off for a bit if I'm not doing something that needs her.  We've decided that you're what she needed in the first place and if you hurt her, we'll be killing you.  Jigen said so."  She gave him a squeeze.  "With that I'll release you from any fantasies I might have had."  She gave them each a kiss then wandered off again.

"Her timing's getting better," Melissa said tolerantly.  He groaned so she kissed him stupid, earning herself another turn on her back under him.  "Why, detective, what strong arms you have," she teased, grinning up at him.

"Some day I'll have to arrest you," he reminded her.

She smirked. "Only if you catch me doing something wrong and as of last night, none of us have Interpol files - again.  Besides, it's much too new to play with handcuffs.  That's for when you're trying to spice things up after a few years."  She pulled him down to kiss him again.  "I'm much too active to tie down yet.  Unless you think I need that sort of close, torturous, intense contact with your tongue and hands?"

"We'll see," he offered, diving back in.  Since everyone had agreed and she was offering.  Man, he felt like a teenager again.  He pulled back.  "That youth stuff that screwed up Xander, you didn't feed it to me, right?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  Unless someone dosed your dinner."  She shrugged.  "A good lover is suppose to make you feel younger. You should feel like you're Fred's age."  She kissed him again.  "But if you wanted, I'll talk to Ethan for you.  He's got a lot left and so does the office in Beverly Hills."  She kissed him again, flipping him onto his back so she could grin down at him.  "What have I captured?" she mused, leaning down to taste him, pushing her hair back to one side so she could play.  Overhead, a siren went off.  "Fucking storm drill," she moaned, looking around.  "We're inside the barrier.  See the green line painted on the trees?  That's where the shield comes down behind.  We're in here so we're safe."  She went back to what she had been doing as the metal shield was raised and put into place.  It got really dark there and he was wiggling under her, so she took advantage of it, making him howl and writhe under her merciless and talented fingers and tongue.  By the time the light came back, he was begging and she was on him, getting what she wanted the most.

***

Ray knocked on Zenigata's door, raising an eyebrow at the noise inside.   "Come get a drink with me," he ordered.

"Let me get my shoes and jacket," he offered, grabbing them and having a quiet word with Dawn before leaving.  He joined Ray in the car.  "Reporting in?"

"That too."  He drove them to the nearest dark, dirty, no-one-paying-attention-to-them bar and got them a corner table with drinks and a bottle.  He looked at his boss and pulled out the report, handing it over.  "For the records, what little are left."

"I noticed that they disappeared.  Every mention of them in every file was wiped clean and computer crimes doesn't know how."  He looked at him.  "Or why."

"Um, well," he started, then took a drink.  "She thinks she loves me, sir."

"Ray."

"Fine, sorry, Zenny.  Melissa thinks that she loves me."

"Do I need to arrange a sudden wedding?" he teased lightly.

"It'd thrill her to no end," he noted.  Zenigata stared and he nodded.  "Last year in Cairo, remember when I told you she was acting oddly?"  He nodded, taking his own drink.  "She was flirting, I was right.  Again in Paris earlier this year."  He took another drink.  "I slept with her, Zenny.  It was right.  It felt good."

"I had that same feeling with Dawn, while kicking myself badly."

"Ya think?" Ray asked dryly.  "She's younger than Dawn was when you two got together."

"Not by much and you're younger than I was."  He took another drink and refilled their glasses.  "Are you okay? Did she hurt you?"

"No, she just fit so well," he moaned, rubbing his eyes.  He looked at him.  "I need advice, sir.  Otherwise I'm in so much trouble."

"Not as much as you think.  The virus that wiped them out came through Dawn's computer, not yours.  No one suspects anything between you two, and if her file doesn't come back, then no one can really say anything, just give you funny looks."

Ray looked at him.  "I'll know."

"Yeah, I have that same feeling about Dawn now and then," he agreed with a small sigh, tossing back that drink.  "I can't really tell you what to do about feelings, Ray.  I'm not that good at them or I would have escaped Dawn by now.  She had to plan everything and make all the moves.   I was just swept along like a leaf in a stream."

Ray nodded.  "I have that same feeling," he sighed.  "I don't know what to do!" he moaned, holding his head.  "She's just barely about to turn eighteen, she's legal for the area she's in and here, but she's so young."

"Yes, but she's older mentally than you think," Zenigata pointed out dryly.  "With the way those kids have traveled and what they've done, there's no way they're as young as their physical age.  Being on the run changes a soul, and it makes them age alarmingly.   She's seen and done things that no one knows.  I can't tell you more than that.  You might be meant to be together now and then, but if you quit to become her house husband, I want warning.  I'm sure she'd set you up in one of her mother's more legitimate enterprises, probably more of what you're doing now, and you'd be able to make a living off that.  Does her father know?"

"He just told me not to hurt her or he'd be killing me horribly."

"I'm sure he will, if Xander doesn't first," Zenigata said dryly.  He finished his drink.  "I wish I could help you more.  I was trapped and caught by Dawn."

"Yeah, maybe.  Oh, that's not got pictures or anything, but it is the legal basis.  Xander and Melissa handed that over, and then the paperwork for sovereign territory they filed."  Zenigata groaned.  "Well, it is in unclaimed territory.  It's fairly well done.  They're not slaves.  They're well taken care of.  I asked a few if they knew this was illegal and if they wanted to leave and they laughed and walked off."  Zenigata let out a small moan.  "He's made it fun for them too.  It's also desensitizing the boys to girls and helping little Alex, who's apparently going to have the choker when she's older.  For some reason that no one will explain to me."  He looked at him.  "We can't bust him for it.  Legally speaking, he's got a few good legs to stand on.  Which he is.  Oh, he found a set of triplets that look almost exactly like Fujiko at twenty.  Two of them are slutty and adore Lupin and one's sweet and gentle and blushes whenever Goemon looks at her. I almost lost my lunch over those two.  Then again, like Stan said.  If I were single, lonely, liked cash, fun, and sex, I'd be there too, sir.  It's a nice place.  He just imported some baby deer."

"Fine," he complained, glancing through the report.  He handed over a picture of Melissa.  "Seems she helped more than typed."  He looked at it, then at his man.  "She's cute."

"She is, but I'm too old to date cute.  She said she needs an older man, one who understands women.  I didn't know I did."

Zenigata smirked at him.  "Go home for a few days and talk to your mother about her."

Ray snorted.  "My mother would throw a party and invite her over.  She's hot on getting more grandkids."

"Well, that's one way to make sure she doesn't work that often."

"She said she'll retire to inventing when she's ready," Ray repeated dryly. He shook his head. "Maybe I'll head back to Chicago.  There's some people there who might help."

"Sure, take a few days.  Come back when Turnbull does for the French trip to Canada."  He shrugged. "You'll be working that anyway."  He grinned.  "You look like you could use a vacation, Ray.  You look tired."

"That's because she's worse than any battery ever invented," he said dryly.  "I didn't know I had stamina like that," he said sarcastically, getting up and paying their tab, then heading home.  Zenny could read the report and swear in private this way, then take a cab home once he was really drunk.  Dawn wouldn't appreciate it but it beat her soaping his mouth for swearing since his mother was there.

***

Ray walked into the twenty-seventh, dragging his feet.  He hated jet lag.  He headed up the stairs, into the detective's area, and right into the office.  "Are you moving, sir?" he asked, closing the door behind him.

"No, it's that dreaded warrant day.  We're pulling all the old ones and filing them."  He stood up to look over a box.  "New case?"

"Need advice, but it could be a case," he offered.

"Move stuff and have a seat."

"Why bother?" he asked dryly, walking around a few stacks to sit next to his desk, back against the small bookcase.  He wiggled out of his trench coat and sighed.  He was handed a cup of coffee.  "Got liquor?"

"No, not any more.  I got yelled at for it.  Will I need some?"  Ray nodded and tossed over the flask he had bought last night.  "Last time I knew you didn't drink."

"It's my decade-annual binge," he said dryly.  He poured some into his coffee then handed it back.  "Keep it so I don't have to drink it."  He took a sip and winced.  "That's stronger than I thought."

"What's wrong and which case?"

"Lupin.  Or more precisely Jigen."

"Jigen?  There's a few of them.  One of the kids?"

"Her," he said grimly, handing over the photo that had been in his report.  "That one."

"I see."  He looked at the photo, noticing the bruises on her collarbone and her neck, the post-sex smirk on her face.  He looked at his former detective.  "That would complicate that case, yes."

"If she had a file in the system," he said dryly.  "She don't, not any more.  They were all eliminated again."  He picked up his coffee to take a sip.  "You ever have anything that feels really right, yet makes you shudder in horror when you think about it afterward?"

"Most of my married life," he admitted.  "You?"

"About thirty times in the last week," he admitted bitterly.  "She's like a drug, I want more.  A lot more.  But she's just barely eighteen now and I'm not, and she's a crook and I'm not."

"Her father threaten you yet?"

"He said I'd better not hurt her, but otherwise left it there."  He took another drink.  "I don't know what to do."

"Well, first, it could've been worse. It could have been Lupin the Fourth."

Ray smirked.  "She's a card, but she's also her daddy's girl.  She needs someone with more energy than I've ever had or ever will have."  He finished his coffee, what he wanted of it, and put the cup aside.  "I'm confused.  I'm nearly forty.  She's eighteen.  This is worse than Zenigata getting captured by Dawn when she was twenty and he was nearly fifty.  This is worse than Stan and his child bride, who's only about seventeen at the moment, but she's also over three hundred thanks to being the nanny for the kitsune."

"I did not know that," he offered, blinking a few times.  "Really?"  Ray nodded.  "Interesting.  Now I'll have something new to pick on Kowalski about, besides his hair."

Ray snickered.  "She now does it for him every morning so it stands up and looks cute.  Their daughter will be a horrible menace to society if she's not turned good immediately."  He shook his head.  "The same as mine was once. God, Welsh, she's like a fantasy come to life.  She adores me, she loves my cooking, loves my mother, loves to help protect my mother.  She's given me hints to help with a crook I've been trying to capture after three years.  But she's still eighteen."

"The first thing you do is tell your boss.  Did you?"

"Yes, and he said he couldn't advise me because he was unfamiliar with dealing with emotional situations.  Dawn basically corralled him and roped him good.  He woke up one evening trapped in the noose."  He grimaced.  "Hence me being here.  At least until Turnbull has to go to France to escort the French ambassador's niece to her first day of college, then I'll be heading back with him and being part of that detail.  I'm pretty sure I'm off anything Lupin related now."

"Good idea.  Will she go straight for you?"  He shook his head.  "She won't?"

"She said she won't.  The same as she won't ever ask me to retire or change.  She's satisfied doing what she does.  The challenges and all that are what drew her, she said she'd probably be in it even if it weren't her family business.  I want, so much," he moaned, putting his head down.

The door opened and Frannie walked in.  "Sir, is my brother hiding in here?" she demanded. "Huey said he was."

"I'm over here, Frannie," he complained.  She walked around and squealed a bit, giving him a hug.  "Thanks."

"You smell like liquor," she said, pulling back.  "Bad case?"

"No, it's the one binge I allow myself each decade when things go really wrong."  He looked up at her.  "No telling Ma, Frannie.  At all."

"Sure.  What's wrong?"  She trotted back and slammed the door, coming back around.  "What happened?"  Ray handed over the picture he had handed Welsh.  "Well, she's cute, but is she legal?"

"Barely by US standards, has been for the last few years by the rest of the world's," he admitted dryly.  "Just turned eighteen."

"Do I know her? She looks kinda familiar somehow."

"That's Jigen the Second," Welsh told her.  "Now you see the reason for the liquor."

She handed it back to Ray.  "I won't tell Ma.  She'll want you to invite her to dinner to formally introduce her."  Welsh laughed at that.  "Even if we had known her forever, Ma would have demanded that the formality of a dinner be done, sir.  That's how Ma is.  She even got onto one of the nephews who brought home a girl constantly and made him formally introduce her and state his intentions.  His mother burst out in tears and Tony just told him he was too young, but Ma asked about their plans for college and work and all that stuff."  She looked at Ray.  "She going straight for you?"

"No.  She said she wouldn't.  She said she'd help now and then like her mom does.  She said she'd keep it down around me.  She also said she's not going to push me to retire or change sides.  She likes me how I am and only wanted me to accept her for who she was.  Then again, her mother has a bunch of legit stuff that Stan and I are already tangled up in.  Like the wine stuff where he nudged me into being a paid taster of the vintages."  Welsh nodded, he had heard about that.  "You got any advice?"

"Go very slowly.  Because she knows you and you know her, but you don't know all about her and how she thinks.  She doesn't know that about you.  You know her like you knew Stan before you moved in together.  Remember how many times you said you didn't know him after that?"  He nodded at that wisdom.  "Besides, you don't wanna be left like I was," she said with a touch of bitterness.

"You ever find the putz?"

"Hell no," she snorted.  "He's long gone.  Arizona I think.  Fortunately there weren't any kids and the Church is behind me on dissolving since he ran.  I still don't know what I did to upset him."

"Most likely he figured out what sort of chore marriage is and got scared," Welsh told her.  "Many men do that. That's why so many couples divorce within the first year."  He looked at Ray.  "It sounds like you're trying to keep the contagion to the job down.  You've told your boss.  You've done everything you can.  So either you give in and enjoy the hell outta it.  Or you walk away and leave her crying, possibly get hit by one of the many shooters in the family, and be miserable for what little is left of your life."

"You think I should go to her?"

"I think you should start slowly, and date," he told him.  "If she makes you miserable this way, there's something there. It's when she makes you emotionally miserable that you gotta watch out for. Then again, the limited times I've met her, she seemed very nice and polite. Just a bit cold and 'the job's more important than lives' at time."

"That job wasn't the bank job," Ray said grimly.  "It was what was in the safe deposit box.  That got a whole family of people she knew from the Academy out of a blackmail thing and their kids their own lives and paths.  She told me about it when I asked."  He picked up the rest of his coffee and drained it.  "You think I should?"

"Ray, think about life without her," Frannie offered. "Can you imagine it now?"  He groaned and shook his head, looking down at his knees.  "Then don't.  Be a man and fall in love for once.  Like you did with Ange.  It's more than time.  You're getting old."  She pinched him on the cheeks.  "A hot young woman like her'll keep you young."

"She's way too young for me."

Frannie snorted.  "Yeah, because she's so much a child, Ray.  That kid was never a child and will never be a child."

"Actually, she did run and play all the time," he corrected.  "We got to watch them be kids many times.  Even when they were pulling jobs they still played. Lupin and Xander made sure of it.  She used to be the most atrocious book nerd," he said fondly, smirking at them.  "Used to read all the time.  When their fathers used to go on trips to steal crap and bring 'em, she always had a few books.  Her and Lotus.  They'd be lookouts or something but they'd still get to play.  They were always playing tricks, but everyone always underestimated Melissa.  Even when she announced herself as a planning genius, the only ones who give her credit for it are her mother's people and even half of them don't give her the due she's due."  He shook his head.  "Everyone always thought Lotus was the pretty one, big chested, nice, sweet, take your head off if you touched her, but sweet.  Melissa was more like warm honey.  If she liked you, she was all over you, even as a kid.  She'd snuggle up to us and steal our wallets for sodas at conventions, but she was always smiles and hugs and laughter before and after.  She never just took and ran off.  It was always about the cuddle afterward.  I'm in such deep crap here."

"Nah, it's love," Frannie said with a grin.  "I won't even brag about it.  Though, if you're gonna marry the girl, I've got to meet her officially too."

"Sure.  She's on an island full of pros in the middle of the Pacific at the moment," he said dryly.  "Xander built his harem."

"You're not throwing a fit about it?" Welsh asked.

"I almost did, but I don't have that right."

Something out in the main room banged and they all jumped up, going to see why smoke was pouring under the door.  "What is going on here!" Welsh called.  "Someone open a window!  This isn't from a trash fire!"  He felt something brush his arm and glanced over but he couldn't see Ray move.  He guessed it was him.  "Someone turn on a fan or two too!" he ordered.  Within minutes, the smoke had fled and he looked around.  "Where's Vecchio?"

Frannie looked at his other side, then at him.  "I think he was stolen, sir."

"Funny," he said dryly.  "Did anyone see or feel Vecchio leave?"

"I heard someone yelp on the stairs," Huey offered.

"I heard someone running down them," Dewey told him.  "I thought it was someone going to open the downstairs door.  Why?"

"Because Inspector Vecchio was just here," Welsh said patiently.  "And now he's not."

"Maybe she stole him," Frannie said dryly, smirking at him.  "She's like that sometimes."

"Maybe," he agreed, turning around. "Who opened my office window?"  He walked over to shut it, finding a new picture on his desk.  That one was of Ray and Melissa cuddling on a beach, his arm around her back, looking very content. He tucked that one into his locking drawer and left the door open in case he came back. Surely she hadn't been that bold....  Never mind, she was that bold.  Well, Ray was probably having fun then.

***

"You just kidnaped me from a police station," he said hotly.

She glanced at him as she drove them in squares.  "Yes, I did.  You're not on duty and ...."

"And nothing!  I'm still a cop!"

"Oh, shut up!" she yelled back.  "If I hadn't, you'd be dead.  That freak, as Uncle Stan calls him, followed you to Hong Kong, back to Paris, and then to here.  He's tracking you and there would have been more loss of life if I hadn't."  He gaped and she slowed down, glancing at him again.  "This way, you have the chance to ride in and be the hero we both know you are and prevent some cops from losing their lives before we know if they're going to be good cops or not."  He groaned and shook his head.  "I mean it."

"I know you do, that's the scary part, Melissa.  You kidnaped me from a police station.  What would have happened if someone had tried to shoot you?"

"No one would have," she snorted.  "Besides, I'm a planning genius, Ray.  I do know how to pull off a simple kidnaping, even from under the eyes of the cops.  I am second to Lupin the Fourth and did learn at my mother's knee, who ran a massive empire under Lupin the Third's nose for nearly a decade before he blurted out about it and outed the entire operation.  Well, not the *entire* operation.  Dad and Uncle Lupin have no clue about all that Mom does.  I don't and I'm his heir."  She pulled up in front of the station and pointed.  "You're needed there and I don't have a weapon and you don't have a weapon.  You didn't bring one to the island because you knew it was pointless with as many shooters as we have around. You went straight from the airport to Uncle Zenny's, then straight to the airport here."

"Actually, we stopped in a bar."

"Yay," she said dryly.  She kissed him.  "Apparently it's still clinging.  You smell like dad after a bad day."  She pulled something out of her pocket and sprayed his mouth, smiling at him before kissing him again.  "There, better."  She tucked it back into her pocket.  "Now, do you have a gun?"  He silently shook his head.  "I've got my usual revolver but it's dirty.  I've used it recently even."  He arched an eyebrow up.  "What can I say?  The guy deserved it for picking on his chick and his chick's kids.  I only blew his ankle out from across the airport when he was screaming at her about visiting her family and how they were going to taint her against him and tell her he's evil and things, and she was too stupid not to listen and to like them.  I figured he was stupid and evil and probably shouldn't breed."  She smiled sweetly.  "Then again, this is the local car and Ishi used it while you guys were in town, so let's check, maybe there's something cleaner."  They checked under the seats, the glove box, where she found her old derringer.  "Sorry, bra carry for formal events."  She tossed it over her shoulder.  "Unless you wanna use my titty piece?"

He groaned and shook his head.  "No thanks. I might have flashbacks."

She beamed.  "That's so sweet. You've been thinking about me."  She got out and he followed her back to the trunk.  "Okay, sniper rifle.  Ishi must have wanted to do my aunt for me.  What's under it.  Ah-ha!  The hidden panel in this car."  She opened it and grimaced.  "Bad news.  Ishi's two carries.  The black one is his one for jobs, the silver's his backup.  I can't be sure they weren't used either.  So, up to you.  Known dirty carry, slightly dirty carry that shot you once or twice, his possibly dirty backup, or my titty gun?"

"That just sounds so dirty," he complained.  She kissed him again, making him moan and clutch at her.  "Quit doing that," he ordered once he pulled back.  "Now is not the time for this, Melissa," he said patiently when she pouted at him.  "Give me his backup.  It's better this way and if I have to hand it over, they'll be able to figure out whose it was."  He took it and checked the clip.  "Empty."

She pulled her revolver.  "The second most clean then," she decided.  "I can always use his if you need me."

He nodded, taking it and sticking it into his waistband.  He looked over at the station, noticing the cops were all gathering around the door.  "Good timing."

"I followed him, and went in while he was gathering courage.  That's why we only went around the block a few times.  Now shoo, go be the hero stud we all know you are."

"I'm not wearing leather pants," he complained as he walked across the street.  He could hear shouting long before he made it through the parking lot.

"I want Vecchio!" he shouted, pressing his gun against his hostage's head.  "I know he's here! I saw him walk in!  I know he's here and he's mine!  Get him now!"  Ray tapped a few people and they looked, then got out of the way, the ones in the rear heading outside to clear the doorway.  He ducked when the guy started to frantically look around.  "I know he's here!  I saw him!  Come on, people!  I know you don't want this young woman to die!  It'd be a pretty sight when I turn her inside out and then turn her bright pink before I make her whiter than the driven snow.  If we don't want that, give me Vecchio!"

Ray waited until the guy's back was to him then walked up behind him, placing his revolver against the guy's skull.  "This is a revolver," he said quietly.  "I will shoot you.  Let the patrolwoman go."

"No!" he sneered.  "You're mine."

Ray cocked the hammer back.  "Keeping in mind that this is still a revolver, all I have to do is let the hammer go and it will go off.  The owner of the gun won't be that pissed, she's got a few more at home.  Now, don't make me repeat myself.  Put the gun down.  Let the cop go," he ordered coldly.  "The only way you're getting me is in handcuffs and across a room.  You're a sick, perverted guy who likes to eviscerate people for fun.  Let the girl go or you're getting it in the head.  I could care less.  Paperwork's easier in Interpol for this stuff.  Especially for me.  No one here's gonna say a thing about how I had ta cap you."

"If I let her go, will you be mine?"

"As long as you're wearing handcuffs and across the room.  Sure, why not."  He let the woman go and dropped his gun.  "Good.  Now, hands behind your head," he ordered, taking a half-step back.  The guy twisted and he fired.  He sighed and looked down at the very dead body.  "I warned you," he said, kicking him in the side to flip him over.  The knife he had been reaching for fell out of his hands.  "Who remembers this from the Academy?" he asked.

"If a perp's got more than one weapon and isn't facing you, but he moves to only turn part way, then he's going to use it on you," one of the guys said.

"Very good.  Give the man a smoke break, Sergeant.  Someone call someone about this body?  Before he starts to stink more?"  He walked off, shaking his head.  He found Melissa against the side of her car and handed back the gun.  "Thank you."

"Welcome," she said with a grin.  "I'd have offered but it'd make you look bad and less manly."  She winked and smirked at him.  "Can I kidnap you for dinner later?"

"Nope.  I've got to head back and so do you."

"Why?  The pros on the island are cute and a few play chess with me, but it's not what I want and we both know it."  He broke out in a fine sweat.  "Fine, I'll see you later, Ray.  You be a good boy and do the paperwork and I *might* even give you a hand massage.  I've been learning recently."  She got into the car and sped off after a blown kiss.

He let out a moan and walked back inside, walking around the people checking the body.  "He's dead, people.  A bullet directly into the back of the brain does that to one."  He headed up the stairs and went to find his flask.  Welsh gave him an amused look.  "She took me out the window so I could deal with him."

"Him who?" Frannie asked.

"The new dead guy down on the floor," he said, grabbing his flask and taking a drink.  "Are you sure I can't just...arrest her?" he asked dryly.

"If there's no warrants, it'd be illegal," Welsh sighed, shaking his head.  "Go easy on that stuff.  European liquor is stronger."

"No, this was sent to me as a Solstice present from Lavelle," he said.  "It's his version of medicinal."  He took another drink then handed the flask off again.  "I'm told I'm going to be kidnaped for dinner, but if you'd like I'll resist and you can save me from another night of torture and lust."

Frannie snickered but the two other detectives stared at him.  "Who is this case of yours?" Dewey demanded.  "Do you need help with her?"

"Jigen the second?  Well...."  He sighed.  "She likes me."

"Ah."  Huey smirked.  "Helps you now and then?"

"I just used her personal carry since I'm not.  It was hers or Ishi's and he's used that one on me in the past.  So, should I give in to the little crook?"

"Is she pretty?" Huey asked.  Welsh went to get the picture while Ray pulled out his wallet.  "You carry her pictures with you?"

"I carry the whole group's graduation picture as a help when we're chasing her.  The official ones don't do her justice," he said dryly.  "It also makes Arsene, Lupin the Fourth, look younger."  He showed it to him.  "The brunette next to her father."

Dewey looked.  "She's beautiful.  She legal?"

"Barely.  She's also a genius, a marksman, can build electronic stuff to drive everyone insane, her mother's heir to the non-legit stuff, and on and on.  And now she likes me."

Welsh handed over the picture from his desk.  "A more recent one."

Huey whistled and shook his head.  "Looks like she likes it a bit rough.  Better watch out for her."

Frannie snickered.  "Actually, she's a sweet girl.  Loves Ma like her own.  That whole group checks on Ma and Maria for him and reports back to him.  Lavelle started it and they keep it going.  Ma said that Melissa defended her against someone who thought she was an immigrant, Ray.  After Ishi had to have a talk with him about sex and his sword."

"That'd hurt with as sharp as that thing is," he said dryly, shaking his head as someone came up the stairs.  "What?  You can't move the body alone?"

"Sir.  Inspector," he said, smiling briefly at him.  "What gun did you use?"

"Jigen the Second saw him following me so she kidnaped me from up here and brought me out a window, giving me her gun so I could go after him."

"Jigen...the Second?"

"Melissa.  Second to Lupin the Fourth?  Bane of my existence?" he prompted.  The others laughed.  "You guys try chasing an eight-year-old who's smarter than you!  Lavelle trained them!  They did the Tower of London when they were ten and made it through there with time to try on the tiaras a few times before leaving with carefully chosen pieces."  They all gaped.  "They did this without their parents knowing, without their parent's help, and it's all Melissa's fault."  The phone rang.  "If that's her, hang up on her."

Huey answered it.  "Twenty-seventh...."  He shook his head.  "Okay.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "That was Lupin the Fourth.  She adores you, but you made Melissa sniffle so therefore you're in for it now?"

"I bet," he said bitterly.  "She's eighteen, does no one else see a problem with this?"

"I think it's cute," Frannie offered with a grin.  "She suits you too.  You'll get to catch her all the time.  She'll probably just tie you to the bed before she leaves."  He glared at her and she beamed.  "Besides, you said yourself, there's nothing Lupin related in any computer system left in the world.  Not the First, the Second, the Third, or the Fourth, or Fred.  Who was here a few days back," she told him.  "He kissed my hand and everything.  It took me almost ten minutes to figure out who he was."

"I'll send new pictures this way," he offered. "The younger kids are getting ready to hit the Assassin's Academy so Fred's off getting into trouble before he goes.  Since he's not allowed near the pros Lavelle hired for his island harem."

"Harem?" Dewey asked.  "You can do that?"

"He bought an island that's not claimed by any country, hired a bunch of pros, male and female, and set up a retirement home for the family.  The pros have their own apartments and are on yearly contract.  Sweet deal if you're into it."

"Can you introduce me?" Dewey asked.

"To the pros?  Sure, a few of them flirted shamelessly with me before Melissa jumped me.  Or did you mean Goemon's daughter Lotus or Lupin the Fourth?"  Something in his head clicked and he looked at his sister, grabbing her and yanking on her nose until the mask came off.  "Where is she?" he demanded.

"She left to see your mother today, Mom made sure she could go," Lupin the Fourth complained, rubbing her nose.  "Meany."  She kicked him on the leg.  "Bastard and a meany at that.  By the way, I'll still be getting you.  Making Melissa unhappy makes me pissed and then I get to be my most creative."  She smirked at him and wiggled her fingers at the others.  "Hi, guys."

"But...we...you," Huey said.

Welsh sighed.  "I thought something was wrong with her, the coffee was very good this morning."

Arsene smirked at him. "Thank you, Lieutenant.  Mom was right, you're a very nice guy."  She looked at Ray.  "I'm only here because of the freak too.  I figured he'd be storming up here.  I never counted on Melissa kidnaping you.  Oh, you didn't bring a bag, right?"  He sighed and shook his head.  "That's fine.  You can fix that later," she said with a sweet smile.  "Trust me."  She kissed him on the cheek and wiggled out of the shirt and sweater, ending up in the dress pants and a tight black t-shirt.  "Guys, my tits aren't the ones to stare at.  That's Lotus'," she offered.  "She actually had to have hers reduced."  She beamed at them.  "So, is he dead?"  Ray grimaced but nodded. "Good! Saves me or Melissa from having to do it.  Very good.  Now, I'm off to visit Grandfather.  He's here somewhere in the park.  It was nice meeting you guys.  Have a pleasant day and I had *good* donuts and pastries sent for instead of the stale crap on that cart."  She wiggled her fingers again and skipped down the stairs.

Ray turned around and hit his head on the wall.  "Why me, God?" he moaned.

"Because we like you, Uncle Ray," she called back.  "Some more than others, but I still think you're a neat uncle.  By the way, I've got your wallet.  I'll stop at the ATM for you."

He hurried after her, tackling her in the parking lot to get his wallet back, then dragging her back up the stairs while she complained.  "Shut up!" he shouted halfway up.  Everyone stared at him.  "This is Lupin the Fourth," he introduced.  She smirked and waved.  "She's my personal torment."  He walked her back upstairs and into an interrogation room, frisking her carefully before handcuffing her to the table and then frisking her again before leaving with his wallet.  "There, someone have her and make sure you always frisk her.  She's a good lockpick."

Huey looked at him.  "You can do that?"

"Hell yes," he said dryly.  "I'm Interpol, I can torture the brat if I want to," he said bitterly.  "She did try to pickpocket me."

Huey went in there to try to get her to brag.  Crooks like her loved to brag and they could get her on anything she admitted to.  He found her about halfway out the window and hauled her back with an arm around her waist.  She turned and kissed him, making him moan and pull back.  She smiled.  "You're not bad for an older guy.  Maybe Melissa has something with her thing about older guys.  I'll have to try that out before heading home."  She smirked.  "Plus, you smell nice.  I like your cologne.  It suits you."

"I'm not wearing any."

She growled and kissed him again, pulling him over by his tie.  "Then I definitely like you."

"Get off him!" Welsh said from the door.

"Fine, spoil my fun.  He smells good!  I'm horny.  Give a girl a break," she complained, flipping out the window and onto the fire escape before jogging down and off, disappearing into the street.

Welsh looked at Huey.  "You okay?"  He nodded.  "Check yourself, do you have everything?"  He patted himself down and nodded. "Interesting."

Ray stuck his head in.  "Check your wallet.  She's gotten me before for about ten bucks and left everything else."

Huey pulled out his wallet, finding a new picture in there and a twenty missing.  "I'm short twenty but she left a naked picture of herself in return."

Welsh backed away from it. "Keep it, detective.  I don't need to see that."  He went back to his office to hide behind all the expired warrants.  No wonder those two were so tired.  If the Lupin gangs were their main cases with others piled on top, they'd have to be tired.  He was tired just being in the same building as her.

***

Lupin the Fourth walked up to the consulate and smiled at the woman coming out.  "Inspector, can I take you for coffee for a bit?  I have something important and work- related to talk to you about," she offered gently.

Inspector Thatcher flinched but did look at her.  "Lupin the Fourth?  Why are you here?"  She finished locking the door.  "A job in Canada?"

She snorted.  "No thanks.  Most of the stupid criminals in Canada vacation in Brazil, where there's bikinis."  The Inspector found herself smiling at that for some reason.  "No, I have something else of worth that you'll need and want and I wanted to have a quiet chat with you about that subject.  Completely for Canada's benefit.  Where can I meet you?"

"My place, one hour."

"Agreed.  Bring the tape recorder," she offered gaily, skipping off back to her car.

The Inspector unlocked the door and headed back inside to get the tape recorder she kept in her desk.  She passed Turnbull, who looked a bit confused.  "Lupin the Fourth just approached me about something," she admitted.

"Do you need backup, sir?" he asked gently.  "I know she wouldn't hurt you or you'd already be harmed."

"Please.  Just in case.  I'm not sure what she wants, but she said it's to benefit Canada and it's not about a job."  She grabbed a clean tape and the recorder's electrical cord, then for some reason the handcuffs she kept in her desk.  Maybe she could capture the young woman.  She headed back out, Turnbull following to lock the door behind her.  He heard a whine and looked at her.  "Fine, bring Diefenbaker.  I'm sure she knows him quite well.  Probably stopped stealing things once or twice to pet him."  The wolf joined them and the consulate was locked up tightly, allowing them to be driven to her apartment. She got out and headed inside, Turnbull properly behind her.  Once up there, she opened her door and paused at the two women sitting in her living room.  "Who is that?"

"Fujiko Mine," Turnbull told her.  "Wanted thief and assassin.  Former associate of Lupin the Third's gang and mother to the Goemon children."

"Very good," Arsene agreed smugly.  "Go ahead and put in the tape and stuff.  I can wait."  Inspector Thatcher did that, taking the time to take off her jacket and put down her purse as well.  Then she sat across from them.  She blatantly turned on the tape.  "Inspector.  Nice to finally meet you," she said with a small grin and a wink.  "As you know, our files have been removed from every system in the world.  Should I state my name for the record?"

"As you like."

"I'm Lupin the Fourth."  She smirked at Turnbull.  "Good afternoon, Constable."

"Good afternoon, Miss Lupin."  He sat down in the spare chair, looking at her.  Diefenbaker walked over to sniff her, then curled up at his feet.  "Very well, Diefenbaker."  He looked at her.  "I had noticed that your files went missing. I checked our system when I got a message from Inspector Kowalski over at Interpol."

"All ours in every computerized system, and most of hers unfortunately," she offered.  "But then again, Canada still has a great many outposts who still use paper files."  Thatcher gasped and she smirked at her.  "Miss Mine here is...problematic for the Lupin gang.  She was my father's desired bed partner for quite a while, until she married Goemon.  Then she gave birth to my associates.  Unfortunately it was due to her attitude then that we outcast her.  You see, Miss Mine here has a problem being a mother," she said delicately.  "We didn't like her problems, so therefore we dealt with it firmly.  Then someone found her and brought her back unfortunately.  This now creates a new problem for us.  You see, we don't want her back.  All she can do is cause emotional harm to our group."

Thatcher stopped the tape.  "What did she do?"

"Little things like letting Kenji cry for eight hours straight when he was a baby.  Little things like trying to turn me, Lotus, and 'Lis into whores like her.  If you've ever seen an eight-year-old dressed up in a butt-cheek-short miniskirt and a halter top, with small heels, it's because she dressed them."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  I nearly got taken once because she dressed me. I did get propositioned and asked if was really that young because she dressed me.  She's constantly hurt her own family."  Fujiko groaned and she punched her again, keeping her down.  "Uncle Goemon doesn't believe in divorce, but he's ready to move on.  Mom found the most amazing person on our island.  Pure, sweet, kind, gentle, innocent, looks just like the whore here, and loves Uncle G to death.  She'd walk through hell for him.  Doesn't touch anyone but him.  Adores how he touches her.  She's even said sappy things like she'd live in a cave if he was living there."  Thatcher nodded at that and Turnbull sniffled a bit.

"She's got two twin sisters, part of a set of triplets, and those two fascinate daddy because they're slutty.  But Uncle G is ready to move on.  In some of your more outback outposts, you've got paper files still.  Files that list capitol and heinous charges against this woman."  She reached over to flip the tape back on.  "Therefore we're giving her to you.  You still want her captured.  We want her gone.  We think this is a good deal and a good deal for Canada in the way of publicity.  For all I care, she was breaking into your consulate and you stopped her.  So therefore I'm turning over this very dangerous prisoner to you and your Constable and Diefenbaker," she said with a smile for him.  "No return favor needed.  The scales are even between us.  Besides, we like Turnbull and it can only do his reputation good.  And yours as well, Inspector."

"Thank you, Lupin.  What about your files?"

She chuckled.  "Someone removed those a few weeks back," she offered sweetly, grinning at her.  "We're good when we want to be and sometimes we do good deeds for the betterment of society.  Never letting her near another child to ruin is a good deed for society."  She waved a hand.  "All yours, Inspector.  She should be waking within the hour.  The gas is already starting to wear off and I've kept her down physically by taking out my anger issues on her chin.  I do know that she's got something in her special holding pocket, which is inside her bra. I patted her down for weapons and felt it but did not look at it.  There's another one, a skin colored patch, on her lower back, left side, right above her hip.  You might want to cavity search her as well.  Remember, she is a thief, though a weak one, and can pick locks.  She prefers to rely on her feminine wiles.  It's a waste of skill in our books.  That's why we don't rely on it for more than a distraction."  She looked at Turnbull.  "By the way, the girl, she's got a boyfriend. You'll want to ask careful questions about him," she said with a wink for him.  She stood up.  "I'm leaving now."  She petted Diefenbaker.  "You're still a very good puppy, Diefenbaker.  We wished we could have kept you in Paris.  The Rays could have used you."  She smiled at Turnbull.  "He's in town.  He'll see you in a few days."  She winked again and left them there.

Thatcher stopped the tape.  "Get me my camera, it's in the closet," she ordered.  He nodded, getting up to do that.  She looked at the wolf.  "They wanted you to stay and you didn't?  You wanted to stay with Fraser?"  She shook her head.  "Why am I talking to you?"

"He's very easy to talk to.  I find myself doing it now and then as well," Turnbull admitted as he came back with the camera.  "It's saying you only have seven pictures left, Inspector."

"Thank you."  She moved over, tipping Fujiko's face up to take pictures of the existing damage.  She took a few from a few different angles, then backed up and took two full body ones.  "Okay.  Handcuff her before she can wake up.  I'll call Ottawa and see if they can find those files immediately.  We'll take her back to the holding cell at the consulate or borrow one from Welsh."

"Yes, sir."  He pulled out the cuffs he was carrying these days and did her wrists behind her back, waking her slightly.  "She's starting to come around."

"That's fine."  She found the number she was looking for and dialed.  "Stand in plain sight, Turnbull.  I'm sure her swearing will be most educational."  She smiled at the voice on the other end.  "Marc, it's me.  Yes, me.  No, a bit of a sticky thing.  Lupin the Fourth just handed me and my constable Fujiko Mine and said that any files left on her would have to be in the upper posts, where they've still got paper files.  We'll need them to finish arresting her."  She smiled.  "Please.  The consulate is fine.  We do have a holding cell in there. Either that or we can borrow one if we need to.  Of course.  That would be fine.  Thank you kindly, Marc.  Have a good night."  She snorted.  "No, a bit beaten up.  Stringy hair, looks stressed and worn out.  No, Lupin the Fourth called her inconvenient basically.  Said she hurt a few of the family a few too many times.  Yes, thank you.  Great. I miss you too.  Maybe you can come get her and we can catch up.  Have a good night."  She hung up.  "Someone had sent notice that her files had been laying on their desk, but that all the other Lupin related files were missing.  Someone in Ottawa had a vision of them being needed so he had them faxed in.  They're being faxed to the consulate."

"Inspector, our holding cell is missing a door."

"It is?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"We couldn't find the key so the Fire Marshall had the Inspector before you, Moffett, remove the door instead so no one could get trapped."

"He couldn't just replace the lock?"

"That option was given but more expensive," Turnbull offered.  "I've been meaning to clean up that level and note that discrepancy to you."  Fujiko groaned and he stood a bit more proudly.  "Good evening, Miss Mine.  Welcome to Canada."

She opened her eyes, staring up at him, then groaned.  "Shit.  That little fucking bitch," she complained, trying to sit up.  "She turned me in?"

"She could have killed you I suppose," Thatcher said grimly.  "I'm sure she had it in her but she said she didn't want to upset your former husband."  She stood up, dialing the station from memory.  "Is Lieutenant Welsh still in?  I need to speak to him.  Yes, this is Inspector Thatcher.  Please do so.  We do have a...delicate situation on our hands."  She waited while someone went running after him, bringing him back at a run.  "Lieutenant, it's Thatcher.  We have in our possession one Fujiko Mine.  Yes, her.  No, Lupin the Fourth handed her over.  No, apparently Inspector Moffett took the door off our holding cell and you know what sort of thief she is.  I doubt even Fraser could withstand her charms."  She smirked. "I understand.  May we borrow a holding cell?  Please.  No, she's a bit beaten up but otherwise nothing too tragic at the moment."  She nodded.  "Very well then.  I thank you."  She hung up.  "He'll personally come to collect her in a few moments.  Get the file from the Consulate on the way."

Turnbull nodded and headed out, using his new, boyfriend given, cellphone to call the consulate.  Fraser was still living there.  "Constable, it is I.  There was a file faxed over on Fujiko Mine. We'll need it, we're transporting her to the twenty-seventh in just a few moments.  Please.  I'll pick it up on my way past.  Thank you kindly."  He hung up and hurried off.  He could hear the sirens coming up the street.

Lieutenant Welsh walked into the lobby.  "Thatcher's place?" he asked the guard.

"Fifth floor, Lieutenant, she said she was expecting you and a few officers."  He nodded, heading that way.

Welsh came off the elevator and headed for the open door, tapping gently.  "You yelled for backup?" he joked.  He looked at the woman struggling on the couch.  "She's the former international beauty that used it to steal from half of everyone, including her partners?"  He looked her over.  "She looks like a junkie."

"I'd say a good bath would solve most of that," Thatcher told him.  "That and age have lessened her allure a bit.  Lupin the Fourth did say she had recently been released from someone else's custody."  She waved a hand.  "She did say she had patted her down for weapons but there was a hidden pocket within her bra somewhere that held something and that she had a skin-colored patch on her left back hip.  She also suggested you do a thorough body cavity search. I've sent Turnbull for the information being faxed down on her.  Fortunately some of our outposts do still use paper.  Even if Lupin's files were taken."

"I'm sure Constable Fraser could add to whatever."

"I'm sure as well," she agreed.  "As could Vecchio or Kowalski."  They shared a smirk.  "So she's all yours.  We've handcuffed her without doing anything else.  I did take pictures of her face for the official records.  Lupin said she had been gassed but she had also let out some of her anger issues on her chin."

"I can see that. That's fine with me.  We've got that special new plastic suicide cell.  She can stay in there.  We might even give her a bath if she's polite and doesn't try to harm others."  Fujiko glared at him.  "Boys, be gentle with her.  She's an international prisoner and you know the rules are different."

"Inspector Vecchio said he's allowed to use any methods allowed in any Interpol Country, that includes torture in some of them," one officer told him.

"Yes, but she's going to Canada, kids, and we do things a bit more gently," Thatcher told him smugly.  "If in doubt, ask Constable Turnbull.  He seems to have memorized that book as well."

"He's a lot more handy than I thought," Welsh agreed.

"He was playing dumb," she said dryly.  "They sent him here to get him out of the way and it's an easy assignment.  I'm just glad he comes back from those little guarding missions happy and content.  Otherwise we'd never have dust around the consulate."

They shared a smile and Welsh walked out behind the thief and his men, heading back to the station.  Turnbull was waiting on them, not looking winded at all for having run about thirteen blocks to get them that file.  He took it with a nod and a wink. "Good work, Constable.  Will she allow you to help us as well?"

"I'm sure not, sir," he offered, following him.  "I'll just watch the processing to make sure you've done it.  That way I can note it in my report.  One less thing for our people to have to do, unless they want to."

"Remember what Vecchio said about Lupin the Fourth and follow it with this one too," Welsh ordered his people.  "You frisk her when you walk into her cell and when you put her back."  They all nodded, taking her to be processed, and to have a shower.  She stunk.

Turnbull accepted the bra with a mild blush, finding the hidden pocket easily.  He pulled out the plans and blinked a few times.  "Oh, my."  He slid them into a bag and walked them up the stairs, tapping gently on the door.  "Leftenant," he said in greeting.  "This was found on her person. I do believe this leads back to your city instead of Canada."  He presented the map to him.  Right under the World Bank and how to get into the vault.

"Interesting," he said with a fond smirk.  "I'll have to let them know about this.  Just in case."  He smiled at him.  "Everything else go all right?"

"I didn't watch the body cavity search but she was screaming obscenities during it so I'm supposing it was done correctly.  The last page of that fax was the notice that a special team would be down tomorrow night to get her.  They had to prepare a special cell for her. Did you want Constable Fraser and I to take turns sitting guard on her?  I have nothing to do tonight so I can for a few hours."

"If you want," he agreed.  "The more the merrier."  That got a grin and a salute, then the young constable was out of his office, leaving him with the map.  He took it out to make a photocopy of it, then handed the original to the evidence people so they could put it with her things.  This looked good on everyone's part.

***

Ray woke up from his nap in a different hotel room than he had started in.  "I paid for that."

"You also got a refund when we found a rat in your room," Melissa said from the chair next to the window.  She smiled at him.  "My aunt's out for my head so we're not technically within Chicago at the moment, but fairly close to it.  Lieutenant Welsh said to drive by before you leave with Turnbull so he can make sure you're all right and I didn't bruise you too much this time."  She got up and he looked at her clothes. "You don't like?"

"I do like, but it's fairly indecent."

"It's a nightie, Ray, it's not meant for comfort."  She laid down beside him, getting comfortable.  "You're very good to nap on."

"Thanks, I think."

"Compared to the men in my life, you are.  Daddy and Uncle Lupin are too skinny, all bones.  Mom and Uncle Goemon are all muscle, and Ishi's got a pad of muscle that's usually too hard there too.  You're just the right mix of soft and muscle.  Perfect for cuddling on."

He sighed and put an arm around her.  "We can't do this, Melissa."

"We can so."

"We can't.  You're still a crook. I know you're a crook. I knew you were a crook when Zenigata introduced us to your profile.  I've known you way too long to not know that you're a crook and an assassin."

She looked up at him.  "And you're still a cop. I get that," she agreed.  "Even if you quit, you'd still be a cop.  Even if you ended up having to go to Mom for a job because Interpol wants to cut your unit out again, you'd still be a cop."

"They're what?"

"Budget's tight.  They're looking to trim.  Even though you're on grant as an ex-officio unit at the moment, you're still pretty expensive.  Even for the results you get.  They want to cut about three-quarters of a million out of the budget but need to cut about one and a half to not have a deficit."

"Crap, and that's about our operating budget."

"Just under, yeah," she agreed sadly.  "Then again, Mom's made a donation to the ICPO in the name of his new country.  Lupin the Third's also found a few secret projects that are just wasting money as well and brought them to light.  If they cut those project, it'll save about three mil this year. Which should get them over this financial hump."

"What projects?"

"An AI mainframe project to keep the computers without having half as many tech guys.  That's one of Mark's things even though he hates it and he knows it's futile.  There's a robocop project with an android cop.  There's another one with a robotic canine.  There's some pretty crappy surveillance projects for new gear.  It's not working at all.  That's the commissioner's pet project however."  She shrugged.  "So we're not sure.  Uncle Zenny could retire.  The same as you and Uncle Stan could retire or come back here.  Or you could go live with your mother while he gets on as Xander's librarian for the comics."  Ray smirked at that.  "We're not sure yet, but they just started on it earlier.  One of the local syndicate people there, Bryon's father, called to tell Daddy about it.  Daddy brought it to Uncle Lupin, and Uncle Lupin started to expose the secret projects within an hour and why they wouldn't work.  We're hoping but we can't be sure."  She stole a quick kiss. "Any idea what you want for dinner tonight?"

"I don't care.  Just not Chinese.  Being back in Chicago, it..."

"Brings back memories of Fraser when he was right in the head?" she suggested gently.  He nodded.  "I understand.  There's a chain Japanese place, a Hibachi place, and a few iffy looking pizza places or we can head back into the city and eat there.  I had originally made reservations with Arnaud."

"That's a nice place," he agreed quietly.  "I still can't see us dating, Melissa."

"Shut up, Ray.  We're dating or I'm going to go crying to Lotus.  Who, by the way, thinks that Huey and Dewey make a very cute couple.  And if they're not she wanted to know if she could date one of them."

"Her father would shit if she dated a black man," he said dryly, smirking a bit.

"Only if she married him," Melissa reminded him. "Speaking of marriage, Arsene saw Fujiko earlier.  She's escaped her last prison."

"Wonderful. Where is she?"

"At the consulate.  Surprisingly enough, her file was still found in their system.  They've got too many outposts with paper trails.  Ours were gone last week," she admitted with a small smirk into his chest while she played with a button.  "But hers never disappeared."

"So she's fully under arrest?"

"I'm expecting so by now."  She looked up at him.  "See, you can date me.  I'm fun, intelligent, and I get you off."  She kissed him again.  "Arnaud's and the chance of my aunt shooting at us?"

"That's one way to arrest her."

"True," she agreed happily.  "Up to you, but you'll need new clothes and we've only got two hours before my first reservation.  I made two just in case we got sidetracked."

"I'm fine."

"You are, but you're also messy and sweaty.  Therefore you need to take a shower. I'll call and make sure of our reservations and we'll be off."

"Melissa...."

She kissed him again, straddling his body to do it.  "Ray, quit complaining.  Everyone, including my father, likes us together.  I'm not going to get you dirty or make you be looked at funny."

"What're you going to do when I'm sixty and starting to fail in health?  Or when I'm older and I'm adult diapers?"

"Ray, you'll be dead long before you come to that humiliating end," she said gently.  "Not that I'd care.   I love your mind as much as I love your body.  I'll be there when you start to forget where your keys are and where you parked.  Now, go take a shower so I can change and do my hair."

"We don't have to go somewhere that fancy.  People do know you."

"Yay," she agreed. "Not here.  Warfield's gone, his people have mostly retired.  My aunt's people know me somewhat and about half of them know me as Lady Melissa.  Lupin put the announcement in the paper locally to piss her off," she said with a grin.  "So, go shower, I'll arrange for clothes for you.  Now hurry up before I forget our plans and take you here and now."  He shifted under her.  "See?  I've already forgotten to get off you."  She slid off his side and watched him head into the bathroom, getting up to change out of the nightie and put on a real dress.  A bit slinky and borrowed from Sylvia's closet, but the black knit dress was classic and with the blue sweater and modest heels, she looked very grown up.  She put her hair up this time, adding some light jewelry to the outfit.  He came out in a towel and she smiled, pointing at the bag in the corner.  "Arsene had to guess about your sizes.  I wouldn't let her check any tags."

"Thanks for that."  He looked at her.  "You look very respectable."

"I am a Lady, Ray.  I should be."  She smiled at him and sat down on the dresser to do her makeup in the mirror.  "Get dressed before I forget myself and jump you."

"Yes, Melissa."  He picked up the suitbag and looked inside, then at her.  "Armani?"

"Hell yes.  You look good in him.  Change, Ray.  I'm starting to get wet panties with you being moist and dripping and only wearing that easily removed towel."

He blushed and went into the bathroom to change.  She didn't need any more ideas.  He came out adjusting his tie and she fixed it perfectly for him, stealing a kiss. Her makeup was a bit dark but it highlighted her good points.  Even the darker red lipstick.  "That doesn't go with the sweater."

"The only one I brought," she said with a small shrug. "While you're getting real clothes, I'll find another one and change it out."  She grabbed her purse, checking it then sighing.  "Lupin, you took my wallet," she complained.  "Little coffee freak.  Fine, we'll just have to stop somewhere on the way in."  She walked him out, locking the door behind them, and led him down to his car.  He gaped at it, then at her.  She smirked.  "You had it in storage.  Of course I got it out for you."  She walked around and he opened the door for her, getting in to drive.  She buckled up and looked at him.  "I need to stop at the zombie bar to raid the emergency stash."

"We could stop at the consulate."

"I don't want to see Fujiko."

"Fine.  Am I going to get into trouble for seeing this stash?"

"Nope.  Mom's legit and comic stuff."  She smiled at him and rubbed a hand on his thigh. "Drive, Ray, before we're really late."  He nodded, starting his baby up.  It purred and he smiled.  "Someone took very good care of her."

"Frannie started her every few weeks for me," he said happily, pulling out of the parking lot.

***

Melissa came out of the zombie club and tucked her purse under her arm, getting into the Riv and buckling up.  "Okay, all set."

"What did you do?"

"Well, long ago, Mom told me about this thing she did, and still does.  She *buys* gems for backup money sources.  So do I.  That way no one can say anything about them not being legit, but if you need money you can usually find somewhere to cash them in.  This bar is one mom owns and we have a stash down in the basement.  She used to keep her costumes here but they're somewhere else now.  Drive, Ray."  He nodded.  "In our stash, I keep legit stones with the papers needed just in case.  I've got a few of these around the world."

"Interesting and legitimate, even though the funds they were bought with weren't. Advanced money laundering techniques."

"Point, but not totally.  You see, I'm entitled to a share of mom's legit profits as well.  Ray?  Clothing row?  Must I drive?"  He started the car and backed out.  "Pick a shop.  I don't care where.  Just get something that makes you look yummy and hot."  He smirked at her.  "What?" she asked innocently. "I even changed lipsticks to something more demure."

"I saw.  I can also smell.  Cherry?"

"Yeah.  I nibbled on one while I waited for the guy to change it for me."

"A fence?"

"A mostly legit fence.  He runs a pawn shop."  She shrugged and they turned onto another street.  "Go wherever you want."

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure.  Just no ugly boxers, okay?"  She kissed him on the cheek and wiped off the bit of lipstick.  "Sorry."

"Not a problem."  He found his favorite spot and parked, walking her inside.  He looked at the salesman, then at her.  "She said so."

She smiled and shook the man's hand.  "Lady Melissa Harris.  This is my stud, Ray.  Dress him appropriately.  We have dinner in an hour and I'll need him fully outfitted for the next three weeks for an assignment bodyguarding someone French."

"Lady Melissa.  From which estate?" he asked as he led them back to the suits.

"Heartstone.  My father rather...won it," she said with a smug smirk.

"Your father slept his way into it," Ray snorted, smirking at her.

"Yes, but he was the only one to get her off."

"I heard about that," the salesman admitted.  "So you're the heir?"  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Well.  You're quite young."

"Eighteen just recently."  She smiled at Ray, then at the salesman.  "He was quite good in helping me celebrate.  Do you think green?  He likes green."

"Green is nice for him, but how about basics tonight?" he offered.  She shrugged and sat down, crossing her legs demurely while she watched, her purse beside her.  He looked at Ray.  "This way, sir."  He nodded, following him.  "I must say, she's quite young."

"I'm still trying ta tell her no," Ray admitted.

"Ah.  You know, that jacket looks good but it needs fitting."

"She had to guess at my size earlier.  Sent in a friend while I napped.  I had a bit of jet lag."

"Ah, that's usually horrible," he agreed, pulling down a few suits and holding them up.  "No, not that color," he said, putting one back.  "Can you wear gray usually?"

"One of my favorite suits was until it was ruined by a certain Mountie."

"Turnbull?  You know him?"

"Fraser, but yes, I do know Turnbull.  I'm going to be on assignment with him in Canada for a few weeks."

"Enough chat, Ray, let's see you look yummy now," Melissa called.

"She's demanding," the salesman offered, handing him the gray suit.  "Try that on. It should fit you perfectly, but be a bit loose in the seat."

"They usually are," he agreed, taking it to try on.

The salesman went back to her side.  "Will this be cash or charge?" he asked.  "So we can start a running tab."

She pulled out the wad of cash, pulling off ten thousand dollars and handing it over.  "Outfit him for three weeks," she ordered, stuffing the rest of the substantial roll into her purse.  He nodded, going to do that.  Ray came out and she purred.  "I like you in that one.  Get it.  You can have one fitted for tonight and pick up the rest tomorrow sometime."

He nodded, going back there.  "How much did she give you?"

"Ten large," he said softly, glancing around.  "She really is a Lady?"  He nodded.  "Well.  Well educated I'd say."

"Very.  Boarding school in Italy.  Loves my mother and her cooking."  He went to try on the others.  He started to check tags and winced a few times, and she must have seen because things started to come back without tags.  The salesman added a complimentary suitcase for his new suits and had the one fitted for him tonight, promising the rest would be done by dinner time the next night, then they headed out to the car and to the restaurant.  "Are we late yet?"

"Our second one is in an hour," she admitted, checking her watch.  "Our first was about ten minutes ago but I did tell him that it was most likely we'd be making the second since we were running a bit behind."

"Oh, good.  So, we've got an hour to kill, huh?"  She smiled and nodded.  "Go for a drive?"

"If you want.  I never get a chance to appreciate the cities I pass through."  He nodded, driving them off.  "You didn't tell him who else I was?"

"No, I thought you'd want to leave it there."  He checked behind them then merged lanes, heading for the prettiest of the parks.  "We're being tailed," he announced.

She pulled out a small gun from her purse, then put her purse beside her.  She rolled down the window and stuck her head out, with an arm, shooting out a tire.  She pulled back in without the gun and rolled up the window, patting her hair to make sure it was still perfect.  "No we're not."

He had to stop at a red light so he looked at her.  "What did you do?"

"Their passenger side front tire.  It was my aunt's top two bodyguards.  They're swearing at me no doubt."  She smiled sweetly.  "Green.  Well, yellow actually."  He sped off through the yellow.  "They weren't hurt, there wasn't a wreck.  I didn't feel like being shot at tonight and messing up my pretty borrowed dress."

"Borrowed from which one?"

"Mom's closet. She's got the better stuff in there."  She smiled and leaned over to kiss him. "It's not like they're going to report me, Ray, and the others are probably just swearing at them."

"We'll see.  People do know this car."

"You've been gone a while and there wasn't a cop within four blocks that I could see."  She kissed him on the cheek again.  "Ooh, that's pretty."

"It's one of the parks we used to walk Diefenbaker in.  It's a very pretty park to have lunch in too."

"If you want, Ray," she promised, stroking his thigh again.  "But only if you want."  He nodded, driving her around the park slowly, letting her look around it and see the view of the lake.  He finally headed back to the restaurant, smiling at the cops there. She snorted and waited until he had parked and gotten out, coming around to get her.  She accepted his hand out with a smile and took his arm, heading that way.  "Trouble, gentlemen?" she asked.

"No, ma'am, sir.  Just here guarding the mayor," one offered, opening the door for them.  "Have a nice evening."

"You as well.  Hopefully he at least brings you a snack or a doggie bag."  She smiled at the maitre'd, nodding politely.  "Lady Harris?"

"Yes, ma'am.  Thank you for making two reservations."

"I thought it prudent, we had to do a bit of shopping earlier," she offered.  "This one forgot anything appropriate for tonight."  The maitre'd looked at Ray's new outfit, then nodded, leading them to a private little table against one wall.  "Thank you," she offered quietly.  He handed over the menus and left them alone.  Ray helped her sit and she smiled at him, winking a bit. "I need food.  I missed lunch."

"Yeah, I seem to have slept through it, but I had a burger for breakfast in the airport," he admitted, looking in the menu.  "There's no prices."

She smiled.  "Don't worry about it, Ray.  I've got tonight.  You can pay for a picnic lunch tomorrow."  She went back to her looking.  "I should be good and eat a good meal, but that beef looks very tempting."

"It does," he agreed, smiling behind his menu.  "You're on a diet?"

"I should try to stick to a reasonable one.  I don't need to lose weight but I am still actively working on my muscles and my training.  I should eat well enough for that.  Not like Uncle Zenny, who can live on Ramen."

"I've noticed.  Stan's picked that up too."

"Poor Stan," she said sadly, shaking her head. "Bix is such a good cook too."

"Oh, she is.  She refuses to let me in the kitchen."  He looked over the top of his menu.  "You could go for the chicken salad."

"I hate lettuce," she assured him.  "Way too many salads at the Academy."  She put down her menu.  "Will you protest if I order a glass of wine?"  He nodded.  "Stupid laws."

"Tough.  There's different standards over here than in Europe, where you're used to," he reminded her.  "Here it's twenty-one."

The waiter came over.  "We don't card unless it's clear they're very young," he offered.

"She's still not allowed," Ray told him.

"Do you brew your tea or is it a mix?" Melissa asked.

"We brew ours," the waiter said proudly.

"Then I'll take some ice water.  I hate brewed tea."  He smiled at that.  "Sorry, the butler at the manor house does the same thing.  I can't stand the taste of brewed tea."  She shrugged. "Mom ruined me for mixes."  She smiled at him. "I'll take the beef and potatoes casserole with a side of asparagus."

"An appetizer?"

"Not unless he wants one.  I'll ruin my dinner."

Ray snorted.  "I've seen you eat more than your mother at a buffet, I'm not so sure of that.  Give me the same dish, rice on the side.  And a salad for an appetizer."

"Of course.  To drink?"

"Pick something," he decided, handing back their menus.

"Very well, sir."  He walked off, going to hand in their orders.  The waiter came back a few minutes later with their drink orders, giving Ray a wink before moving on.

"I think he thinks I just hit the motherload.  Rich, young, and pretty."

"With a fierce desire for some of you later," she added with a naughty grin, making him blush and take a sip of his cocktail.  "Sorry, couldn't resist."

"I'm sure.  You and your mother both."

"Yes, but I like you for whole different reasons than she does.  She likes to tease.  I have no intention of doing more than momentary teasing."  She looked over as someone came to their table, smiling at the Lieutenant.  "I see you did survive Lupin today."

"I did. She made some of the best coffee I've ever had."

"Yeah, she's a bit of a freak for good coffee," she agreed.  "Did you want to join us?"

"No, I'm okay without watching you coo at him, Melissa.  Just remember, if you hurt him, I'm going to harm you in ways your father would be proud of."

She smiled at him.  "Good.  I'd expect you and his mother to do that.  His sisters would stand there and cheer of course."

"Yeah, probably true," he agreed dryly.  "Ray, you look nice."  He pointed at Melissa.  "Ah, so she's spoiling you?"

"Very much.  I'm weak in that area and I figure he'll tell me if I'm getting too pushy."

"You're too pushy anyway.  Most smart women are," Ray pointed out. "That's how you tell smart women from the rest."  She smiled at that.  "I'm still going to have nightmares."

"Yay. I have them too. We can soothe each other's."  She smiled up at the lieutenant.  "Are you sure you won't join us?"

"No, the mayor's going over the incident earlier.  By the way, did you mean to drop the gun?"  She nodded.  "Fine.   I'm sure someone will put it to good use."

"It only has three more bullets and it's an odd size.  You can't find them locally."

"Interesting.  Thank you."  He walked off, going back to his table.

"It is?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, that was that nasty little odd one I bought by accident."  She shrugged.  "Worth it really.  I hated that thing."  He nodded at that, taking his salad when the waiter came back.  He glanced at her. "Eat, Ray.  You're clearly trying to maintain your figure."

"Chasing after you guys is hard work," he agreed.  "Your crew alone causes more gray hairs."

"My crew and I are on vacation again," she reminded him.

"Please don't remind me. I don't need flashbacks to that island."  He ate a bite of his salad, doing it justice since it was perfectly fresh.  By the time he was done, he was watching her watch the others.  "Why did you let her come near me?"

"I didn't stop her in time," she admitted.  "Made me horribly jealous.  That's when I planned out how to jump you later that night."

"You did a good job. All but calling me Uncle Ray at dinner."

"Yeah, well, old habits and all that," she said with a flick of her hand.  She heard a scream and someone got up and stomped out, leaving her boyfriend there.  "Huh.  We're just running into all sorts of people today.  Wasn't that Stan's ex?"

"It was," he agreed, watching it with interest.  "I'm not sure he's making her very happy.  I'll have to tell Stan that so he can gloat."

"Sure.  Or I can.  Or Mom can since he's in the corner focused on...."  She followed where he was watching.  "Huh.  The same guy.  So I'm sure Stan'll hear about it."  She looked at him.  "You told Mom?"

"No. You?"  She shook her head.  "Interesting. You sure?"  She discreetly pointed him out.  "Yeah, that's Xander," he agreed dryly.  "Am I that fascinating and need watched?"

"No.  I'm sure he's not here for me."  She glanced around then got up, bringing her purse with her.  "Oh, my," she said in a honeyed southern accent.  "You're Lord Harris, aren't you?" she asked with a small smirk.  Xander flinched and looked up at her.  "So, daddy, why are you interrupting my date?"

"I'm not here for you, dear.  I thought you'd have left town by now.  I'm here to meet with Lupin the Second and make plans for him to join us."

"Ah.  Well, we're having dinner so keep Arsene and him away please."  She kissed him on the cheek and went back to her table, smiling at Ray.  "She's talking to the Second about going to the island."

"So where's the youngest Lupin?"

"Probably in the kitchen or she's off having fun with someone.  So if she's not a waitress tonight, she's off clubbing."

Ray nodded.  "Good deal.  We're not.  Right?"

She shook her head.  "All up to you, Ray."  She smiled sweetly.  "We could go for another drive or whatever."

"I'm not ready for long drives in the country," he told her.

She nodded.  "As you like.  We can go back to the hotel and watch some tv if you wanted."

"Sure.  That's nice and safe."

She smiled.  "Maybe."

"It had better be."

"All up to you," she reminded him a bit smugly, looking at his salad.  "I never could understand why people like those things."

"It's good for me.  I have to force myself to eat at least one a week."

"I think you're in very good shape.  You've got a bit of padding that speaks of years of good cooking, but otherwise you're in wonderful shape."

"Padding?" he snorted.

"Just enough to make you comfy.  I can't even call it pudgy, just enough to cover the muscles so you're not one of those tight, wiry men."

"Thanks, I think."

"It was a compliment."

"Fine."  He accepted his plate from the waiter and his new drink.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir.  Can I get you anything else?"

"We'll see later," Melissa offered with a small grin.  He nodded and left them alone.  She broke the crust on her casserole and sniffed.  "Hmm, good cheese."  She ate a bite and moaned. "Excellently done."

Ray dug in, marveling at her appreciation of the necessities.  Good food was a must in his book.  That's why he could cook.  Though the casserole did meet up to his expectations.  He glanced at Melissa, catching her looking at Lupin the Second and glanced back.  "He's really old."

"He' so sad. He gave it up for love and then she died about five years ago," she said, looking at him.  "He was such a player in his youth too."

"Love can make you do things you'd never expect," Ray offered.

"Yes, it can," she agreed softly, blushing a bit as she ate another bite of dinner.  She could feel him staring at her but she left it there.

***

Ray woke up in the morning, warm, comfortable, naked, and not alone. It was a nice feeling he had missed over the years.  He looked at his bed partner, who was smiling in her sleep on his shoulder, then around the room, catching sight of Arsene in the bathroom.  "What are you doing?" he hissed.

"Making you coffee because you're a grumpy bastard first thing in the morning and I want to spare her that," she said dryly, coming out with the filled pot of water to start the coffee off.  "Besides, I think we should have a more extensive talk."  She flipped on the coffeepot once she had the water poured in, and pulled something out of her pocket, gassing Melissa with it.  "Oops, breath stuff."  She got the other stuff out and gassed her, smiling as she mumbled but stayed asleep.  Arsene sat on the foot of the bed.  "Don't worry about clothing or anything, I had to cover you guys earlier. You looked cold."  He blushed at that.  "Not that I care."  She looked at Melissa, then at him.  "She made me a promise when we were younger, that a guy was never going to make her part from my side, Ray.  She tends to keep her promises.  Unless I die, she'll be with me."

"I figured it was something like that."

"It is, but I kinda feel sorry for you here because you won't get to fully know her for years yet."  Ray opened his mouth.  "Ah!  You dump her I'm siccing your mother on you."  He grimaced.  "Yes, Ishi was there and he did tell her.  She was most impressed that Melissa managed to get through to you without a screaming match first.  She said you were too stubborn to accept that love could come from one so young and beautiful."  She shrugged. "She's your mother, I'm not going to comment on sappy, romantic stuff like that.  Dad's the romantic Lupin of the family.  I'm more like Grandfather there.  I like my harem of studs."  She shifted a bit.  "So the problem becomes what to do to help her balance out your life together and our jobs.  Because I make sucky plans without her.  I can't work if I can't plan and that's one thing I never learned how to do well, probably because Melissa does.  So, I'm torn here, Ray."  He nodded, staying silent.   "I can't release her from that promise.  I like working and I know she likes the challenge of it.  She'd never be happy just designing, she needs an activity that physically and mentally challenges her naughty side to be happy. You need her to be more discreet.  That's why the files were removed."  He nodded at that and swallowed.  "I figured it'd be easier on you if she didn't have a file and couldn't *prove* anything, even if they still knew who she was."

"Thank you but you're still going to get into trouble for that."

"Yay.  Trouble is my life," she offered with a wicked grin.  "Then again, it's hers too."   She stared at him.  "So I'll make you this compromise.  We're going to hate losing you on our asses all the time.  You and Uncle Stan were a lot of what made the on-the-run portion of the game fun.  You take yourself off anything Lupin related.  You find a replacement as good as you for the chase.  I'll take longer breaks between jobs and try to do things a bit more quietly.  Let's face it, my Interpol file only had about seven or eight things in it and we all know I had that many by the time I was ten."

He nodded slowly.  "I'll still have to arrest her some day."

"That's some day, Ray, not right now.  Live in the present, it's the only way to achieve happiness.  If you worry too much, you'll start to worry about Stan's daughter coming to chase us some year.   Or worse, dating Fred."  He shivered at that, it was like a bad omen.  "Mom would have to train her and I doubt it, man."  She shifted again.  "Can we make this bargain?  Ishi and Lotus have already agreed. Fred'll have to prove himself to the field at large but not until he's formally out of school.  Neither will Kenji or Yu."

He considered it.  "Define quieter."

"Quieter.  Or more quietly for those who are grammar obsessed.  Say, notes left at the scene instead of before?  Or notes quietly placed before instead of the media fanfare I can make some of them.  It won't change my MO really and Dad said it was permissible to do it that way.  He also said that he didn't like the idea of me taking this year fully off, that I'd lose some of my respect by doing so.  That's why we're out looking at stupid criminals again.  There's someone with a sacred statue that talks to them and has them running an odd cult.  We're dealing with that right now.  Dad's put around that we're doing some socially conscious work for a time due to Mom's influence.  Mom put out that we're doing it because she showed us what poverty was and how bad it can be and gave us the desire to do good works every few years.  I'm just taking a year to do good works," she offered smugly.  "If you can agree to that, I might even let Melissa start slipping Stan stuff about the crooks we're going to be hitting, after we're done.  Make it a double tragedy in some cases for the worst of the worst."

He considered it, then slowly nodded. "Fine."

"Thank you.  Now, you'll have her all to yourself but for an hour this afternoon.  I'll need her to help me look up someone in the database. I can't find the putz and he's an irritant to the eyeball of the world.  So you get some coffee, get some morning sex, because Melissa deserves to be loved properly time and again.  Go have lunch.  I'll come steal her after lunch while you go to pick up your suits or go visit Turnbull and Fujiko."  She smirked at him.  "Then you can have her back for dinner, and I made you a special reservation tonight so no running late.  That way I know you won't be running into anyone you know.  Oh, her aunt's no longer much of a problem.  I got tired of the old wench last night and went to talk to that nice Lieutenant of yours about her at home.  It's nice to find a guy who appreciates good coffee."  She got up and moved closer, kissing him on the cheek.  "Welcome to the family, Ray.   Treat her well and come to me if the work starts getting in the way.  Remember, no babies yet.  Our dad's would freak if you did and you'd end up on the cruise ship being married very quickly as well."  He smiled and nodded at that.  "Good man."  She winked and walked out, closing the door quietly behind her.

"She gone yet?" Melissa mumbled.

"Just now."  He kissed the top of her head.  "She'll need you for an hour today."

"Yay."  She looked up at him and yawned.  "Sorry, morning breath."  He kissed her anyway, making her smile.  "Thank you.  I think that's the highest compliment yet."  She kissed him again, making him moan and shift to be able to hold her better.

***

Vecchio walked into the twenty-seventh, weathering the smug looks for his attire.  "What? It's new.  I got spoiled."  He walked up the stairs, finding Welsh being surrounded by a bunch of Mounties.  "Are we being invaded?" he asked blandly.  "Because if we are, you still won't win the Stanley Cup this year."

A few smirked at him.  One smiled.  "Inspector Vecchio," she said, shaking his hand.  "Bess Fraser."

"I heard about you."

"I heard about you as well."  They looked at Welsh, then at each other.  "One Fujiko Mine was given over to our local Inspector.  We're here to pick her up."

"Ah.  I heard about that.  How thick is her file?"

"Not nearly thick enough," she admitted.  She handed it over and he looked it over, then snorted and sat down to write out a list of things he knew, handing it back with it.  "Thank you kindly, Inspector."

"I want that bitch to go away for a very long time.  She ignored and hurt her children.  She nearly killed the baby a few times.  She tried to get the older girls to become whores and use only their feminine wiles on the men.  She dressed them like it repeatedly.  She's a backstabbing bitch of the old school, turned allegiances like we change underwear.  She'd kill her own kids if she thought it'd help with a plan."

"Even better to know," she agreed.  "Why did they not kill her?"

"Goemon couldn't kill his wife and he kept promising to reform her," he said dryly.  He heard a familiar footstep and groaned.  "Hold on."  He walked out, grabbing Xander.  "No.  You can't go near Fujiko.  Let Canada have her."

"I just wanna stab her a few times, they can save her life," he said hotly.

"No, Xander.  No."  He walked him into the squad room by force.  "Question him about her.  He can tell you all sorts of shit that won't endanger the group."

"I can?" he asked, looking at his buddy.  "Can't I just stab her?"

"No.  Your daughter would get pissed.  Get creative once she's in prison begging for her life."

"Fine," he muttered, pulling out an envelope.  "From Lupin the Third, Inspector.  He wishes you to have this once he found out why his daughter was in this city.  By the way, her happy horsemen of digging that tunnel? They're digging that tunnel right now.  They've been going now for two days.  They'll probably be breaking through in another five or six."

Welsh looked at him.  "Thank you, Lavelle."

"Welcome, Lieutenant.  My daughters?"

"Here somewhere.  Maybe Lupin left last night, but I know Melissa's somewhere."

"Hmm.  Did you enjoy her aunt last night?"

"Her aunt?"

"She's waiting in your closet.  At your house."

"I didn't go home last night.  I should probably do that," he agreed, going to take a few people to his place to retrieve the next guest of the city.

"Melissa's aunt?" Ray asked.

"Pissed Arsene off on Melissa's behalf," he said smugly.  "Pity about that.  Remember the lesson, Ray."  He looked at the inspectors, who were all staring at him, and smirked.  "He chases after me all the time, I get to call him by his given name.  Use that information well, Inspectors.  I have a lot of respect for the lot of you."  He turned and stomped out, going to plan a sniper shot.  He got grabbed by Welsh on his way out the door and sighed, following him.  "Why do I have to come?"

"In case there's others trying to get her and so you can't stab her or shoot her or do anything else to her."

"Bet me," Xander said bitterly.  "She deserves to be tortured, for a very long time."

"I'm sure she does, but you can't do that here in America, as you know since you were born here.  Get to her jailers or the people in her prison, Lavelle, it'll be much more satisfying because she won't be able to get away from them and she'll be trapped day after day until they put her to death."

"Maybe," he said grimly.  He grimaced and shook his head.  "I hate that bitch."

"I'm sure you do," he soothed, getting him into his car.  "Now, let's go get your sister-in- law from my closet.  When did she do this?"

"Last night after the shooting thing.  Then I'm taking Lupin the Second to the island so I'm expecting her to come back with us for a few weeks at least."

"That's fine."  He got in to drive, taking him to his house.  He was sure the guy knew where it was anyway.  They found a few people trying to break in and Xander stopped them before the cops could get out of their cars, then he headed inside to bitch out his sister-in-law and drag her outside by the hair.  He smiled as he accepted her.  "Thank you, Lavelle.  Now disappear.  Right now."  He nodded, and suddenly wasn't there.  "How did he do that?"  He called the station while the officers checked his house, bringing out a few others.  "How did he disappear that way?"  He listened to the short explanation.  "Never mind."  He hung up and stuffed her into the back of a patrol car, smiling brightly at her.  "Breaking into my house was very stupid," he told her.  "It really was."

"I didn't!"

"Yes, you did.  How else did you get in my closet?  And playing with my handcuffs was even more dumb.  You got caught due to playing with things you shouldn't touch while breaking into my house.  Thank you for saving Organized Crime some work."  He shut the door and walked off, going to look at the others.  He tapped one.  "That's the kid's boyfriend."  The guy looked horrified.  "Or not.  Bring him anyway.  If he is, I'll gladly scare the hell outta him so he knows to treat her right."

***

Xander walked off the helicopter and nodded Goemon to come with him since he was there.  He walked him off to the side, taking him down the road to talk with him in private.  Lupin, his father, and his daughter all went past in a jeep and they waved.  "Goemon, while they were in Chicago, they ran into Fujiko," he said quietly.  Goemon nodded curtly.  "Arsene ran into Fujiko," he told him.

"I heard she had been arrested by the Canadians."

"Yes, and no," he admitted.  "Yes, she was arrested by the Canadians, but handed over may be more appropriate."  He stopped walking when his buddy did, looking at him.  "You know how Arsene feels about her, Goemon.  She hated her, fully hated her.  Not only for how she hurt you and your kids, but for what she did to the rest of the family and her." He paused, looking at the ground, then at him.  "I'm the one who told Lupin.  That was the night he was locked in his office."

"He asked me if I'd ever take her back," he said quietly.

"He gave me information to hand to the Mounties picking her up.  Ray filled in a few other things about her solo career."  He nodded, looking miserable.  "Where we go from here is up to you, Goemon.  If you want her back, I'll stand behind you, even if I do guard your kids from her.  You're my buddy and my friend."

"I know, Xander.  I thank you, but I could never want her back.  Not after the last time."

Xander nodded.  "Then it's up to you whether she survives her sentence or not, Goemon."  He looked startled.  "It can and does happen.  She's fairly protected but not that much.  They didn't offer her a chance to turn evidence.  Zenigata's not stepping in to offer her that reprieve.  Two of the things Ray wrote are, were, capitol offenses.  If Canada has the death penalty, she can get it."  He sighed and nodded, moving to lean against a tree.  "That's up to you however.  Lupin has no idea that I'm offering you this option.  If you want it to be a merciful death for giving you the kids, then I'm for that."

"You'd help?" he asked, looking at him.

"Yeah, I would.  Either in person or through some contacts."

"How?"

"Up to you, Goemon.  All I'm doing is offering my services and my network."

He nodded.  "Let me think on this, Xander."

"That's fine, Goemon."  He hugged him gently.  "It'll be okay," he said quietly.  "She's safe from herself and from hurting others, like Lotus."  He pulled back and gave him a weak smile.  "It could have been much worse.  Arsene could have just presented her dead body and demanded the reward."

"True," he agreed, walking on.  Xander walked beside him.  "You know I do not believe in divorce."

"I do.  Another reason why I'm offering. I know Jigen did in the past."  He nodded at that and Xander looked at him, then really looked at him. "Marcus!"

He snorted and took off the illusion. "I've already offered my master the same thing," he assured him.  "Lupin told him that he had sent you with information.  He got quietly drunk that night and cried on his new woman's shoulder the next morning.  You'll find he opted for the more gentle option.  She got sent a vial of poison for whenever she's ready."  He grinned at him. "Zenigata's not pumping her for information on Lupin?"

"Nope.  Ray told him, he sent Thatcher a message saying 'good job, hope you keep her, don't offer her a deal, she's not to be trusted' and left it there."

"Excellent news.  On even better news, Interpol only cut half of Zenigata's unit."  Xander moaned and held his head.  "Which is why I'm out here.  They're keeping him, they're keeping either Ray or Stan.  And they're keeping Emmajean and two others.  The rest are being reassigned but he's allowed to keep all the rookies he's got working under him since they're free labor.  Those were the official orders laid down."

"If whichever one doesn't go back to Chicago, I've got legit jobs lined up for them," he promised.  "Not a problem."

"I thought you might.  I did write Ray an email and reminded him of that fact.  Melissa did as well I believe."  He nodded at that.  "We're allowing them?"

"She makes him happy and he makes her dance," Xander said dryly, smiling at him.  "I can't break into that."

"Fine.  I won't say anything to her when she comes back."

"He came to check out the legalities here and she jumped him that first night," Xander told him, smirking a bit.  "One of the girls had walked up to Ray, kissed him, then blew him there in the entry of the house.  It got her so jealous.  She was red and splotchy.  She was fuming and ready to scream and attack her. Mel apparently knew she had a crush on him and prompted her to action.  Besides, my baby's like me and she deserves someone who can understand what multiple orgasms are for.  Which he apparently can because she's loud."

Marcus laughed at that.  "Then I'm happy for her.  What about Lupin?"

"Arsene said that she'll be quieter so as to not interfere with his job that much.  Lupin the older?  Well...."  He shrugged. "He considers it odd but she's happy so he's happy as long as she doesn't rat the family out.  Jigen was wondering why both his daughters fell for cops.  He thinks it's something we did wrong."

Marcus rolled his eyes.  "He would.  She just found someone who sparks that spot inside her."

"Quite often from what I saw," Xander agreed dryly.  "She took him shopping as Lady Melissa their first night in Chicago.  Dropped about twelve grand at Armani on him.  Dropped about three hundred at dinner.  The next day, he got a two grand watch.  The day after that, Welsh got a crystal decanter of the really good scotch from the house.  She let him treat her to a picnic and a walk in the park, gentle things like that."

"Very interesting," Marcus agreed.  "So she's spoiling him but not allowing him to spoil her?"

"No, she realizes he makes a lot less than she does so she's letting him do what he can and she's taking on the brunt of the financial stuff.  She's good at that."

"She is," he agreed quietly.  "Well, I suppose she's truly happy then.  The child always did need someone to take care of.  When can we expect grandchildren?"

"Not for at least five years.  Ray promised me that when we had a short talk while Melissa was in the shower yesterday morning.  He doesn't want kids yet and only wants maybe one or two at the most.  Did Ishi really tell his mother?"  Marcus nodded.  "Well, I'm sure he'll be getting visited soon."

"Probably," Marcus agreed, smiling as they came to the lake.  "Well, I'm off to have some fun.  Behave."

"I'm off to find Jigen and jump him."  He winked and wandered off, heading for the house.  He found Jigen in the entryway and grinned, sneaking up behind him to jump him for a cuddle.  "I'm back."

"I can tell."  He pulled him around and kissed him.  "Melissa?"

"Decided to escort him and Turnbull back to Paris.  That way she could get another day and talk to someone about her newest invention."

"Why?"

"Because it's not useful in the field but it'd make a great nanny cam," he told him.  "Inside a few different toys, but meant to be camouflaged."

"She really likes him?"

"If it were just the sex, she'd be over it by now," he reminded him.

"Fine.  What about kids?"

"Ray said, baring accidents, five years at the earliest.  He promised me that.  He also said he only wanted a couple of them anyway.  He even tried to remind her he'd be an old man within thirty years.  She said she didn't care, she wanted his mind and personality as much as his body."

"Fine.  I guess."  He stole another kiss and walked Xander off, taking him up to their suite.  "Lupin's waiting on us."

"Really?" Xander asked, smirking at him.  "Something...special?"

"Something kinky," he said dryly, walking her into their room and locking the door behind them.  On the bed lay a woman, tied lightly by the arms to the bedpost, wearing only a very familiar choker and a set of pink panties.  "Geez, Lupin!"

"I wanted to find out," he offered with a little purr.  "Please, Xander?  Please, Jigen?"

"Oh, yeah," Xander agreed, coming over to pounce her and have his wicked way with the virginal woman.  Jigen set up the videocamera to tape it, then got out of the way to watch.  He'd get his.  He had always thought Lupin wanted him, and now he knew how he wanted him.  Xander let out a wicked chuckle when his new lady howled in pleasure, going back to what he was doing.  "Remember, she can only pass out, not die from it, babe," he warned.

"I'm being good, so far.  I'll be wicked later," Xander said smugly, smirking at him and the camera.

***

Zenigata looked at his people. He noticed Ray walking in.  "You too," he ordered.  He saw that he was alone.  "No little woman?"

"Do I pick on you about yours?" he asked dryly.  He sat on his desk, looking around.  "I heard the budget was getting cut.  How bad?"

"Orders from the Commissioner," he said bitterly, waving the printed form.  "He's said, and I quote.  I'm allowed to keep Emmajean and two others.  I'm allowed to keep the rookies because they're cheap labor."  He took a deep breath and looked at his two best.  "I'm only allowed to keep one of you."

Stan and Ray both looked at each other.  Then they groaned and shook their heads. "At least we have jobs we can go to," Stan offered.

Zenigata nodded.  "I'm thinking that's what he was thinking.  That and you two do the most work so you're the most expensive."  He shrugged and leaned against the desk he was in front of.  "I don't want to do this, men, and ladies.  I fought long and hard about this.  Even with them cutting all but the robotic dog project, I still fought long and hard over there.  I even offered to retire since I'm the highest paid here.  They said if I did that then either Ray or Stan could stay in my place."  He shrugged.  "I don't know why he hates you two, but he said only one of you can stay."

"I can go back to Chicago," Ray offered.  "Frannie's still there.  I know I'm needed."

"I could," Stan pointed out.  "My family's never really met Bix."

"You've got the kid to think about," Ray pointed out.

"Yay, you'll have some soon."  They stared at each other, then groaned and shook their heads.  "We'll work this out between us, Zenny."

"Thank you, guys.  I don't want to."

"Then don't," Melissa said as she walked in.  She smiled at him.  "By the way, the present commissioner is presently begging his Mistress for his life for crippling Interpol this way.  She's an inspector as well and got quite pissed at him for how he cut the budget this time."  She handed over an envelope.  "You can keep it on a grant basis," she offered.  "That would drastically cut the budget, but not as much.  You'd be moved back to being advisors and helpers, but not the actual people arresting.  Just as it was planned the last time this happened and then the budget crunch in other departments made you go back.  You'd still have to cut about six positions and most of the travel budget.  Then again, you do more work than most of Interpol and they were trying to do the same thing to that poor group who dealt with white slavery."

"Melissa," Stan started.

She held up a hand.  "You guys do good work getting the worst and the most dangerous off the street.  You also train my sister to be just as good and careful.  I'd rather not have her out doing traffic and getting caught by a stray bullet some day."  She looked at Zenigata.  "That would mean a pay cut for you as well probably.  You're that sort of boss, but it would give you more options, including private funding, like from the FBI."

"They do?" Ray asked.  She nodded, smiling at him, then at her sister.  "Why?"

"Because they can't be everywhere and they say the same things about Interpol that you guys say about them.  Besides, I'd rather not see dead people this week.  The way the budget was cut for the masses of officers, the general corps of you guys, it'd leave them without backup at times, it'd leave some partnerless, and it'd leave a number hanging out in the cold and ready to commit suicide since they couldn't do what they had always dreamed of.  He only had to cut three-quarters of a million at the least and he cut five."  Zenigata winced at that.  "So, yes, I'm giving you other options so Daddy doesn't have to watch Savannah coo at her husband back at the island.  He said it was fine, but he didn't want to have to watch her coo at her cop."

"And yours?" Savannah asked bitterly.

"He doesn't to watch me coo at my man either," she said dryly, smirking at her, "but I never turned my back on the family and fucked up by ignoring rules."  She looked at Zenigata again.  "It's up to you.  His mistress made him compromise.  Not family related at all."  He took it and looked it over, then at her.  She smirked.  "It'll give you a year.  Make all the plans you can, figure out how and who to cut.  For all I care, start an academy for future cops."  He looked startled at that.  "There's not one."

"You mean like the Assassin's Academy, only for good guys?" Sierra asked.  Melissa nodded.  "Interesting idea.  Daddy would shit though."

"Speaking of fathers. Did you not check your email yet?"  She shook her head.  "Then we gotta talk, dear.  You've got another relative and he's a bit old."

"Huh?"

Ray looked at her.  "When Ishi and Xander were in Chicago helping with that rogue case, Ishi saw someone.  Lupin the Second.  He's alive."

"He quit due to love," Melissa told her.  "He's about ninety-five or so.  He's on the island, and you're allowed there to *visit*, but you can't bring the men."

"Fine.  I doubt I want my husband on an island full of family anyway."

"Or pros," Stan agreed.

"Excuse me?" Sierra asked.  "Prostitutes?"

"Mom said he created a harem so that daddy and your dad would not and could not ever leave him.  They're on salary.  They've got a nice apartment building.  There's a lake.  We get our own house.  We've got work spaces.  It's pretty nice.  And your father disappears every few weeks and comes back sated and Mom doesn't have to worry about taking his credit cards to Rodeo Drive with us and Aunty Murami."

Sierra blinked a few times.  "What?" she demanded loudly.

Melissa nodded, so did Stan and Ray.  "Xander's retirement village," Ray told her. He smirked at her. "I went to check out the legalities.  It's very pretty there.  Even Goemon's there.  So are the kids but they're not allowed near anyone."

"My mother is a fucking lunatic," Savannah complained, holding her head.  "Fine, we'll be in for a visit in a few days and I'll bring drugs for Mom's poor mental condition."

"Sure. I'm sure she'd love it," Melissa agreed dryly.  She looked at Zenigata, then handed him something.  "For the nursery.  I heard screaming when I was walking past there.  It's a small camera, it broadcasts on a set frequency so no one else can pick it up.  You've got the tester.  I was told it was too generic and too done already."  She shrugged.  "I'm off to do some shopping.  Laters."  She walked out, leaving them there.

Savannah looked at Ray.  "We will be talking about that island."

"Sure," he agreed.  "My report had a map."  He looked at Zenigata.  "So, what do we do, boss?"

He looked at the letter again, then at them, then at the check inside.  He groaned.  "Fine.  We'll start back at the consulting level for now.  It'll mean less cuts, but there'll still have to be a few.  I'm sure you'll be reassigned within the day."  They all nodded.  "Give me a few days to work this out.  Unfortunately it looks like without pay."  They all sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry, guys.  Let me work this out."  He walked off, going to his office to read the note thoroughly.  It would mean he'd have at least part of the unit for another two years, they couldn't cut it out from under him, but he'd still have to make cuts.  Dawn walked in and kissed him on the head, making him smile up at her.  "Thank you."  She handed him a check and walked off.  "What's this?"

"Mine."  She kept going.  Apparently she needed to check on the kids.

***

Ray walked into the restaurant the note on his bed had told him to come to, and was shown right to his girlfriend's table.  He smiled at her.  "Hi."

"Hi.  We're not alone for dinner tonight."

"I figured as much by the note.  Stan's behind me."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "Mom's on his way."

Ray sat down, putting his napkin into his lap.  "What's good here?"

"I've never eaten here but Mom seems to like it."  She shrugged.  "I have not a clue.  Mom said he's going to divulge some information to us tonight."  She smiled at Stan as he came in, dressed very nicely.  "Hi, Uncle Stan."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You look good."

"Thank you."  He sat down, looking at the empty seat.  "Late for a reason?"

"Application of disguise."

"Ah."  He nodded, looking at her.  "I liked your hair the other color better.  You look odd as a redhead."

"Yes, well, it is a wig," she offered dryly. "I like my hair its natural color too."  She smiled as a tall, dark man walked up to their table, nodding politely at him.  "Patrick.  Here for me?"

"Here at Lavelle's request.  He couldn't get free. Something came up.  Something about Arsene and crying horrendously locked in the bathroom."

"She's on the patch," Melissa said worriedly.

"Not that. I asked and he said it wasn't that.  Just a broken heart he thinks."  He shrugged.  He looked at the two detectives.  "I know you don't know me.  I'm Xander's solicitor for his medium level projects on the legit side."  They nodded at that.  "That means I oversee the winery, his comic collection and the house it's in, the cheese making farm and plant, the restaurant, anything at that level."  That got another nod.  "As you probably have guessed, Xander does have positions open for you when and if you need them.  They will be reasonably well paid, fairly easy to do, and totally under my area.  He'd offer you a job in the security company or the anime company but he didn't think you'd like it as much."  Stan smirked at that.  "Or you'd play with every issue when it came out," he offered.  Melissa let out a little chuckle.

"One of the things he wanted disclosed is how vast this empire is, and that it was all started with that meager settlement from his insurance and the state.  The only things bought with money from Murami's side was the anime company and the security company, mostly because he needed to use it at that time and he did a complicated dance to exchange the same amount of money back, like his legit side bought it from his non-legal side."  Ray looked confused. "Not totally effective but putting distance between the two."  He looked at Melissa then opened his briefcase, pulling out a thick folder.  "These are things that are under my area."  She gaped at it and he smiled.  "He thought you might have settled for not knowing since you don't do much with me."  He looked at Ray, then back at her.  "Your mother did say that if you wanted to switch, you could, but only for the right reasons and only fully.  No tainting the other side allowed."

"We've wondered a few times how massive his empire is," Stan admitted.

"How did Lupin not see this?" Melissa asked.

"Willful blindness.  He never asked.  He accepted the fact that there's only a few things and not everything."  He handed her the folder.  "You can look through it."  She flipped through the info sheets on each company slowly, finally handing it to Ray and Stan. "He did say he was going to be taking a year and a half to run his empire for a bit, and Lupin agreed.  Jigen did as well.  With the kids needing this year before they start school and that new island project, which I thankfully wasn't a part of, he's got all he can handle without being...who he is for a few months."

"I'm sensing a but coming," Ray said dryly, taking the folder to look through.  He stared, then looked at his very bright girl.  "You didn't know?"

"I wasn't going to deal too often with that side of things so I just left it there," she offered. "If something happened to him before he had a grandchild suitably trained in it, then it went to Homer and them.  If he died before things were put into final place, like an heir to that side, I got the estate and a few things.  Homer got a few things and possibly Lotus.  Bastian got a few other things, and then I got to run the other side."

"Homer and Lotus?" Patrick asked.

"He's a perfectly nice man," she defended a bit loudly.  "He deserves someone like her and she deserves someone like him."

"Dear, quietly," Patrick suggested.

"Sorry."  She shook her head. "I don't know what's gotten into me."  She kissed Ray.  "I'm not usually like this."

"You were drinking earlier perhaps?" he suggested.

"Only a glass of wine while waiting on you guys...."  She sniffed her wine then put it aside. "Truth serum. It makes me giggly and loud."  She opened her purse and pulled out a small container, searching through the bottles until she found one.  Then she took it.  She put everything back into her purse and waved the waiter over, handing him the glass.  "Was it just my glass or the whole bottle that got dosed with the truth serum?"

"Your glass, ma'am, your sister said so.  She's in the kitchen listening," he said, pointing at the wire.

"Thank you."  She plucked it from the centerpiece and plopped it into the glass. "Please deliver that to my sister.  And if you could, tell her I'll be killing her later."  He smiled and nodded, walking off.  "Men like that get good tips," she noted, looking at Patrick.  "It'll take about fifteen for the antidote to work."

"That's fine, Melissa.  Xander wanted me to disclose this to you for a few reasons tonight.  One, to give you the chance to switch sides if you wanted.  Two, to make you see that either a grandchild or a new sister would have to come into being some day." He looked at Ray.  "Three because he thinks you need to know as well.  I'm here to offer Mr. Kowalski a job for the most part, and to disclose to you two otherwise.  I don't even know the full spectrum of Xander's empire, especially not the side that his Lavelle personality runs.  I do know that he's tied together most of the syndicates in Europe and they don't realize it."

"Mom could twitch a few unrelated strings and bring down most of Europe and Asia," she agreed, again getting a bit loud.  Stan coughed and she quieted herself.  "Sorry, this stuff makes me act oddly.

"Does Xander run Europe Dark Syndicate?" Stanley asked.

She snorted, flicking a hand around.  "They're down on numbers and things, but even at full strength they have nothing on mom.  Uncle Lupin created a network of people he can work with and helpful people like fences around the world.  At their height it numbered around a thousand."  Both cops nodded at that.  "Mom's totally surrounded his, absorbed the edges to make it hers, and built on some more."  They gaped.  "Mom literally could twitch a few strings, like someone in London's syndicate and one in the local one here, and bring down Russia, Italy, and Spain in a row."  Ray opened his mouth.  "And no one would ever realize it was him," she said quietly.  She was back to normal now.  "That's how he built it, like a giant spiderweb.  He's got a hidden fortress of evil on the island but the doorway down is guarded by fingerprint, retinal print, and voice print.  Daddy Lupin hasn't wanted to go down there yet to bother him.  He's content thinking it's things like the dairy farm and the cheese factory.  The wineries in Europe and the US.  The security company.  The anime company.  The ship and the restaurant, which are under the same umbrella company.  He thinks Xander's influence is only related to those cells of helpful people that he's got and he's way wrong there. He didn't want to look and Xander is an evil overlord right under his nose."

"Wow," Stan said in awe.  "We had no idea."

"I don't deal with that side, but what she mentioned on the legal side of the field is about one tenth of what we've actually got," Patrick offered.  He patted Melissa's hand.  "On the other hand, I only deal with some of it.  I don't deal with the security company at all.  He found the most pure and legal person he could for them and stays out of their way."

"We're not allowed to go near them either, even if we retire and change identities," Melissa agreed.  "Bastian was getting that.  So, I've got to have a really smart kid?"

"You'll have to have a child that thinks like you and your mother do," he corrected.  "Smart would be of help as well.  Just seeing the connections sometimes is very difficult."

"Sure.  I get that," she agreed.  "I can't see all of them."  She looked at the folder in Ray's hands. "May I have that back for a minute?"  He handed it back and she read more carefully this time, making it most of the way through before yawning.  "Man!  Well, no wonder we were told to never go near those few places."  She handed it back to Ray with a headshake.  "What about you guys, Patrick?"

"Didn't get that far?" he teased.  "We're the last one.  We're actually a multi-national law firm.  We do both criminal, in case one of you needs us, and other matters.  Speaking of, I've got to see Murami tonight.  She's been missing a few things, like payments she usually makes."

Melissa laid a hand on his wrist.  "I'll go with you.  She's family to us."  He nodded and smiled at her.  "I'm taking it you're getting dinner?"

"I can write it off on my taxes," he agreed dryly.  He looked at Ray.  "It was suggested if you needed a job, you could work for one of the wineries, or for the new farm he just bought in lower Italy recently."

"He did?" Melissa asked.

"Just about ten days ago.  You know how sometimes he buys companies that just need an heir to be found, someone to love it?"  She nodded.  "This is one of those.  The older couple who owned it don't have any remaining children. They're spending the next year or so teaching the new people how to run it and Xander may still give them their house back.  It's on the edge of the farm and they're getting along in age."

"The one thing you don't want to lose is the family home, even when you've lost the lands," Ray agreed sadly.  "That poor family."

"It's only the couple left, Ray, and Xander's the sort to give them the home while they run the farm around them."

"At least until he finds someone who'll love it properly and then hands it over," Melissa agreed.  "He did that with a family owned bookstore too."  He and Stan both nodded at that.  "What if he doesn't want to work with food?"

"He can go work for the part of the law firm in Chicago, where we do have an office.  We could use a consultant and someone to liaison with the police department there.  He said Stanley could but we felt it might create more conflict between him and his former spouse."  Stan snorted at that, shaking his head.  "Then that is an option.  Though, if you both worked over here, you'd be closer and it'd be easier to keep in touch."

"What else is there?" Ray asked, going back to his flipping through the file.  It was a diverse list.  Fashion, jewelry, a museum, an orphanage, a bookstore, a gun making company, the security company, the anime and comic company in Japan.  The umbrella company that housed a lot more than the restaurant and the ship.  He pulled out one.  "What about this one?" he asked, handing it over.

Patrick read it over.  "It's another that I don't usually deal with.  It's an information clearinghouse and research center.  Unless you're into the research, you'd be in an office all day dealing with budgets and the like.  He does have a branch of that here in Paris.  Melissa has an office there."  She nodded and sipped her water.  "Our local man here has an office at the top of their building.  We don't have a real main office, we have people who work for us here and there around the globe with a few higher offices in Chicago, London, Istanbul, and Yokohama."  He looked at Ray and smiled.  "If you wanted to go temper irrational geniuses all day and deal with budgets, I'm sure an opening can be made."

"Working in the office is fun," Melissa offered.  "We've got one guy working on plant cross-breeding that runs around naked all day in his artificially sunlit lab.  We've got the person working on sonic weapons who walks around listening to Black Sabbath all day on her headset so she doesn't have to hear the destruction happening, said it creeps her out.  We've got the robotics people who play D&D while they think up new ideas.  We've got the fuel cell people who sit around with them to play and think up new ideas."

"Xander's gift has always been finding someone who was better than him at something and hiring them," Patrick agreed.  "I do a lot of contract law.  He got me in my second year of law school after a very good semester.  He gave me a wonderful scholarship that allowed me to eat regularly without having to wait tables and it came with a job afterwards apprenticing under his last person.  That way I got everything I needed to know about the ins and outs of business law.  That's when he brought me to the company and settled me in a big office, handed me the stack of businesses and their data files, and said, you handle this now.  Don't expect many vacations but the pay's excellent," he said with a small grin.  "He was right.  The pay's excellent and I find I work on my vacations."  Both cops snickered at that.  "But if I didn't, something would start to go wrong and the machinery around me would start to grind.  The system works because it's all fitted like a puzzle.  Everything works well together and we all get along.  It's pretty rare that we find someone we can't be at least decent and polite to in the workplace.  Then again, we get some fights carried in from couples and they make things more interesting.  We love a good challenge."

"I'm a crisis person myself," Melissa offered.  "I've even started a few so I could solve them."  Ray smirked at her.  "Even if it was only in theory for a class project," she said sweetly.

"Oh, I don't know, gassing a whole precinct with a smokebomb to steal me so I could head back in after the bad guy was a miniature crisis."

Stanley snickered.  "She did?"  Ray nodded.  "You're so bad," he told her, smirking at her.   She beamed and nodded.   "So, why do I get archival stuff?"

"Because Xander thought you'd like it more," he admitted. "He also said it'd allow you to go to all the conventions and be a daddy to the baby coming without having to work too hard. Between that and your wife's trust fund, he didn't think you'd mind taking a lesser job for more time to be a father."

"Nah, not really," he agreed.

"Besides, it's a low impact project for the empire, but a very personally watched one by the overlord," Melissa reminded him a bit cheerfully.  "He pays close attention to his collections."

"That's why he's got an officially licensed librarian in that archival house," Patrick agreed.  "She makes shameful money too.  Fifty grand a year for filing and keeping up the files on what he's got."

"Fifty grand?" Ray asked, looking shocked.  "Just for cataloging and filing?"  Patrick nodded.  "Why?"

"Because Mom said the collections weren't worth anything less," Melissa reminded him.  "I'm figuring Mom's going to be turning it into a museum and semi-research center one day."  Ray nodded at that and Stan beamed.  "So you'd get to be the assistant librarian and Bix would get to play with the kimonos.  You could probably do the anime and manga collection all by yourself."

"Wow," Stan agreed.  "How much are we talkin' a year?"

"To start, forty."

"Not bad," Stan admitted.  "We own the house we live in.  Utilities aren't that high."  He looked at Ray.  "What about his?"

"If he wanted to stay in the city, there's ten options, including the research center if he felt like it."  Ray shuddered and shook his head.  "Then there's a general consulting that can be done between the legal team and the wineries and the food producing places.  There's a consulting position between us and the police and Interpol, which would mean you'd mostly sit in your office and play with a Gameboy until something happened.  There's a position open in the legal team to work with the security company.  You are more than legal enough for that, even with your choice of girlfriends.  There's a position that you already sort of hold with the wineries and the food producing farms and the like as a tester.  There's the horse farm if you like horses.  They need someone to oversee operations."  Ray shook his head no at that.  "There's a menial head of security position within one of the crossover companies.  I know that there's a position open in one of the fashion houses, but I don't suppose you're trained for that?"  He shook his head, grimacing.  "Pity, we need a new designer.  There's a few others available.  None of them are heavy work areas, but most of them pay about as well as the archival position does. The head of security position pays sixty if I remember right."

Ray looked at Melissa.  "Why do I get more?"

"So you'll have something to do while I'm traveling.  Besides, Mom's playing to Stan's weaknesses.  You don't have one of those really. Nothing that turns you on that way."

"What's a crossover company?"

"It's one that does things on both sides," he admitted.  "That one is part of the research center but it's doing weapons research.  It can be used on either side of the law, but you'd be over security for it.  A lot of impractical projects but some do work out and our generous overlord does make thirty percent of the profit of the sale through the company."

"Some of those things sell for millions," Stan said in awe.

"Which is how he funded other things," Patrick agreed.

"We had wondered and now we know," Stan said, shaking his head quickly.  "That sounds dangerous."

"It can be.  There've been two break-ins this year.  I'm not going to lie, it's a job that's another paperwork one mostly but not always.  If you're there during an assault attempt, you'd be expected to help."  He looked at Ray.  "It is up to you, if you do need a new job.  Personally I like overseeing the food stuff.  It's a calm and sedate job that takes about twenty of my hours a week.  You taste, you do a bit of traveling now and then to the farms and places to check on them and their quality.  You manage the stores and how much gets sold.  You can do it from anywhere with a bit of traveling.  That would allow you time to travel with Melissa if she's not working or go see your mother.  That one pays about forty- five and it's mostly set up.  You follow the models and the charts.  In the bad years when production is low, you make the prices higher and the quality the best."  Ray nodded at that.  "Once a month I go on a trip to them.  I basically eat wine and cheese for six meals, eat in the three restaurants for dinner, and then head to the food production farms for the others and have fresh salads.  I'm on one of those now."

"This is Mom's?" Melissa asked.  Patrick nodded.  "Under the umbrella?"  He nodded again.  "Wow."

"Very," Ray agreed. "It's a nice place."

"It is," Stan agreed.  "I'm wondering if the girls knew."

"They have passes to eat here free whenever they need to," Patrick told him, pulling out an envelope and handing them one each.  "For future use."  He looked at Ray.  "Whatever your passion, outside of the fair one with us, we can pretty well find you a spot using it.  Even if you only like sports.  We have a group that does donations to various sports teams and little leagues and things.  The guy who does that goes to a lot of games, sees potential, hands over money."

"This is the quietest kingdom ever seen," Ray complained.  "No one knows about this?"

"The links are tenuous at best.  Some don't have links together really. They're run separately by people that Xander trusts and then they report back to him for major decisions and hand him his earnings."

"Of which thirty percent goes back into the three charity funds he works with immediately," Melissa noted.  "The rest is saved, moved to a company that needs it, or used to further build the empire."

"He's mostly stopped building," Patrick told her.  "He feels it's massive enough at the moment and getting a bit hard to handle daily.  That's why he's taking the time to find a new overseer for how he's merging the food production facilities into one company."

"We are?" she asked.  He nodded.  "Why?"

"Because there's sixteen vineyards in Europe, one of those holds the satellite ones that he uses to mix specific wines from.  There's the cheese farm, the two vineyards outside the US, the beef ranches in three countries, the two pork farms, the sixteen vegetable and herbal producing farms, and a co-op he works with now and then to help support and buy from for the sixteen restaurants around the world."  They stared.  "That's not to mention the coffee bean plantation, which was where Arsene learned to adore good coffee last summer, and the two cocoa bean plantations."

"I feel like I should add something about a partridge in a pear tree," Stan muttered.

"No, a few of the vegetable and herb farms also grow orchards of oranges, apples, tropical fruits, and berries," Patrick said dryly.  "That's why they're all being merged under the same sort of umbrella and their overseers will have to work together.  Which they mostly do but for the pork farm in Australia.  He's a bit cranky about this."

"He can buy his way out then," Melissa noted calmly.  "Plus, on the island, we do have a vegetable and meat producing farm for local needs.  That way we only have to import about half the food necessary."  She rubbed the back of her neck.  "How are you merging them?"

"They've each got their overseers for Xander, and they're going to have a new boss to report to, who keeps track of all that and then reports to Xander.  That's the only area he might expand somewhat.  About half of what's grown is sold at cost to the restaurants and things he owns.  The rest is mostly sold to other restaurants at a good price."

"I wondered why mom was going 'eieio' as he walked the other day," Melissa offered as she took a sip of her water.

"Old McHaris had a farm?" Stan teased her.

"Apparently a big farm.  Can he not just buy a state and use it?"

"That would be very unsubtle, Melissa, you know how he works behind the scenes."  He looked at Ray.  "You'd basically be doing the tasting, the testing for quality trips, looking things over, and then making notes about reserves and how much to put onto market, which is mostly in chart form anymore."

"So he'd get to go look at the smelly cows to make sure they were happy?" Stan teased.

"That too, I usually make that my final part of my trip so I'm glad to get back to my house and the city.  I'm a city boy, I have no understanding of animals other than a dog."

"The sad thing is, Mom wouldn't let us have horses," Melissa said dryly.

"He only bought the horse farm about three years ago," Patrick told her.  "They're some racing, some breeding, some cart stuff.  I don't understand that.  The overseer tells me they're doing good, they made this sort of profit, they had this many foals legitimately and this many out of bounds from accidents, and this much of the profit goes to Xander.  I deposit in his bank account," he explained.  "I do that a lot."  She smiled at that and nodded.  "I take it you do the same?"

"Now and then," she agreed.  "About half the time mine's more 'cards, don't get us noticed, ooh, that's pretty and let's research that' from the others offering suggestions and handling the incoming information from the groups."

"Does he own a bank too?" Stan asked.  "I've always wondered about all the gift cards."

"Gift cards are untraceable," Melissa told him.  "You can pick them up beside any register, put money onto them, and they're good forever.  There's prepaid Visa and Master Cards too.  Those you have to give a name but you can use a fake name and they're refillable. It's like a debit card."

"Is there a bank?" Ray asked.

Patrick sighed.  "He owns some things outright, he has interest in some things, he has majority stock in others.  He does have interest in one of the smaller Swiss banks that was having problems a few years back.  One of his financial managers oversees that project."

"They're all projects to him, aren't they?" Melissa asked dryly.  Patrick nodded. "Wonderful. I should nark to Uncle Lupin."

"He'd be hurt if you did," Ray said quietly.  "You know he likes to think of Xander like the door. Always there and open for him to use."

"He was getting complacent again until Mom pulled off this retirement island without him hearing a word of it.  I should at least point at the door and tell him that's where Xander goes to work on non-family projects.  Then maybe he'd go look and discover."

"He'd have a heart attack," Stan said sarcastically.  "Him and your daddy both."

"Just think, either you get a new sibling soon or you'll have to watch your daughter learn how to run these things," Patrick said gently.  She shivered.  "He said there's no rush but that you and Ray should both know and realize this."

"What about Savannah?" Ray asked.

"She's nice and sweet, but I don't think she could wrap her mind around the empire," Patrick told him.  "That's what Xander told me when I asked.  He did say he'd be watching the kids in case one of them came out brilliant and odd enough to do it, and then he'd talk the parents into letting him train them for this part of the job.  The same thing applies if they have a thief.  He didn't think Alex would have children who'd want to do this stuff.  He didn't think Fred would have children and he's pretty sure Sarah won't either."

"So it's my line that'll get it because I'm the one who can run it now," Melissa said.  Patrick nodded.  "Great.  Are we planning on more siblings?  Because I'm not ready for kids yet."

"He's considering it," he admitted.  "That would mean the choker and your father, who would probably throw fits at him again."

"Ya know, I never really thought about it, but I'm Mom's heir.  We were told there'd be a high priest to Janus, the true heir Xander, the true heir of Lavelle, and a few others."

"Arsene, Alex, and you," Ray agreed.  "Lotus is the heir to whatever Willow was and is.  Fred's a mini-Lupin some days."

"That's probably why Sierra and Savannah are so jealous," Stan noted.  "Because you have all this and they don't.  They got a measly two mil for Savannah and a mere one for Sierra and their dads have this much?"

"She got two mil?  Mom only gave her one.  Equal shares to each child," Melissa said dryly.  "I wonder how she guilted mom into it.  The thought has occurred to me that the only child capable of handling this totally would be a kid with me and Ishi, and all the parents, including mom, hate that idea."

"It'd spread it among the family and expose him more," Patrick told her.

"Besides, that could be one handful of a kid," Stan noted dryly.

"Goemon would freak," Ray assured her.  "It couldn't be the fifteenth, it'd be a gunman instead of a samurai. Plus, your brains, your looks, and his skills?  Think about the future cops that would have ulcers from just hear their name."

Melissa smiled at him.  "Not his looks?"

"You're cuter."

"Thanks."  She winked at him and finished her ice water.  "We should order, I'm starved."

"Did you miss lunch again?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, I went parts shopping and went back to the lab."  She picked up her menu, looking it over.  "They have that cheese and broccoli thing that your mother makes, Ray."

He looked in his, noticing how many of these things looked familiar.  "Well, Ma did say she was teaching someone to cook properly," he said dryly.  He looked toward the kitchen, then shook his head and picked his favorites, waving the waiter over.  "We're gonna order now."

"Of course, sir."

"I want the...."  Stan stopped when someone in the back screamed, his hand drifting toward his weapon.  "That's not a good sound."

"That's the cook screaming at someone," the waiter offered.  "She does it now and then.  Must have messed something up."  He looked at Stan.  "You were saying?"

"Uh, pasta florentine, no carrots if possible, and the side of the cheesey pan bread stuff?"

"Of course.  Wine?"

He shook his head.  "My wife'd kill me.  Water's fine."

"Thank you.  And for you, sir?" he asked Patrick.

"I'll have the usual, Juan, and a new glass of red wine with it."  He smiled and wrote that down, looking at Melissa.

"I'll have the Familia special.  Easy on the cheese on the salad.  Plus that broccoli and cheese casserole on the side."

"Wine?"

"No thank you, my sister might try to poison me next time to get information."

"She's been sent away, ma'am.  I had no idea you were the owner's daughter."

"I'm Melissa."

"Ah."  He smiled at her.  "You hadn't been here to Mi Familia's before.  We had wondered about you."  He smiled at Ray.  "For you, sir?"

"Well, since I'm a Vecchio...."  The man gaped and he smirked.  "My Ma taught the chef?"

"Si.  She did quite good with her, sir.  She is as good as your mother could make her and she does come up now and then to check on her."

"I wondered why your mother was in town the last time," Stan offered.

"Give me the Vecchio Saturday family dinner," he said, handing it over.  "Pick a wine and get me a glass and Melissa one too."

"Si. Thank you, sir."  He hurried off and the chef quit shouting and let out a squeal of delight, and something went 'bang' and the kitchen was filled with laughter and everything was good.

Melissa looked at him.  "I'll stand behind you in whatever you want to do, Ray."

"Thanks.  That tasting position don't sound *too* bad.  A week a month to travel.  Some good food.  Light paperwork.  Not too bad after being a cop for so long."

She smiled at him.  "You could have retired soon anyway."

"I know."  He sighed and leaned back a bit.  "I wasn't going to think about my age again for a while."

"Your age is nothing," she offered, pulling something out of her top and putting it in front of his plate.  "Ethan had to charge it. All you need to do is drop in two drops of blood."  He blinked at her.  "If you want.  No strings, no pressure.  You know I don't care but you seem to be very hung up on it."

He put it into his pocket.  "I'll think about it."

"What's that?" Stan asked.

"The same stuff that they sell in LA," Melissa told him, smiling a bit.  "What you got slipped on your wedding night without you knowing it.  Ar said she thought it was fitting since Bix was so young.  That way you'd have time to enjoy it."

"Awww, thanks," he said, sniffling a bit.  "That's so sweet'a you guys."  Their appetizers came out and they dug in.  "This is good," he offered.

"It is.  It's just like Ma's, only less salt," Ray said, adding some to his.  "I guess you have to for the greater good and all."

"Probably true," Melissa agreed.  She smiled at him.  "Love you."

"Mushy brat," he teased.

She beamed. "Of course I am.  I have been now for a few years.  Ever since Ar started to write sappy romances in her spare time."

"She does what?" Stan asked, dropping his fork. "Arsene?  Lupin the Fourth?"

"She'd kill you if you spread that around," she said dryly.  "She got bored, wanted to read something with a plot and smut.  So she ended up writing it."

Ray shook his head.  "Some days I don't understand that girl at all."  He dug in again, nodding at his next bite.  "Perfect.  Just like Ma's."  There was another squeal from the kitchen.  "That sounded like Frannie."

"No, that's the assistant chef," Patrick told him.  "I've dated her occasionally."  He winked at him. "She's very cute, but not your family."

Ray shook his head.  At least Xander was trying to be nice to him and keep his family happy and sane, more or less, no matter what happened. Though he did wonder how he had talked Ma into teaching someone how to cook.  The future was definitely a bit lighter for him and Stan.

***

Lupin the Third turned off the bug he had been using, frowning a bit at the floor and the offices down there.  He looked at Jigen.  "He did it to us again."

"Did what?" Jigen asked from behind his book.

"His empire's massive and we know nothing about it."

"Really?"  He turned the page.  "I know he's got a thing about food.  Farms, restaurants, wineries."

"Oh, he's got more than that.  He's got a multi-national law firm with multiple offices and agents.  He's got sixteen restaurants, he's got a horse farm."

"Maybe the kids'll quit whining about having a pony then," he offered dryly.   Lupin snatched his book and slammed it down.  "Sorry, boss.  What's the problem?"

"According to Melissa, he can twitch a few unrelated wires in his web and bring down all of Europe."

"When did he take over the Dark Syndicate?" Jigen asked, looking a bit confused.

"He didn't.  His own network is *bigger* and more pervasive.  He did it without us knowing too.  Now he's either got to have another kid who can run the empire or Melissa's got to have the next evil overlord."

"Arsene will be hurt, she wanted that job," Jigen joked.

Lupin growled and got up, dragging him down the stairs, with a stop off to get the fake hand with Xander's fingerprints on it and the fake eyeball on the back.  He found the reader and stepped up to it, using the device, then mimicking Xander's voice to get in.  The door slid open soundlessly and he looked at Jigen, who looked impressed.  They headed down the wide stairs, going down to a very nice cavern that looked like the ones from Batman, only with better furnishings and nicer computers.   He looked at the screens.  One was working on the problem of an heir, genetics and IQ possibilities running across it.  One had a stock ticker at the bottom with only six stocks on it, and the rest of the screen was a financial report that showed one hell of a balance at the bottom.  The third screen showed rotating pictures from around the island.  He and Jigen shared a look.  "Alexander Lavelle Harris!" he snapped, making Xander flinch and jump up to stare at them.  Lupin stared him down.  "Your empire, overlord?"

"Um, part of it," he offered weakly, moving away from the chair.

"Freeze, Xander.  You're not disappearing," Jigen ordered, stepping over the symbols carved into the floor to prevent magic around the desk area. He walked closer, looking at the screens.  "Figuring out how to have the next kid?"

"If I should or if she and Ray should," he admitted weakly.  He started to move again but Lupin was there and grabbed him.  "I was being good!"

"You need to sleep more often," Lupin complained.  He sat down in the chair, sticking Xander in his lap.  "Full disclosure, Xander. All of it.  No more hiding shit, even on the legit side.  You had Melissa told.  You can tell me."

"You were spying on Melissa?"

"Hell yes," Jigen snorted.  "Ray still probably doesn't realize his mother owns half of that restaurant."  He looked at the screens.  "All of it, Xander.  We want to be impressed by you and get fitted for trusted lieutenant uniforms for your empire."

"I never picked a uniform pattern. I couldn't find one that looked good on Bastian, Homer, and Melissa."

"Please tell me you're joking," Lupin asked.  Xander shook his head slowly.  Lupin just hugged him.  "I love you even though you're slightly insane, Xander.  Remember that."

"You're sure?  I kinda, um, took over your empire a few years back," he offered sheepishly.  "They work for both of us now."

"Xander, I want a full disclosure of what you have," Lupin said firmly but gently.  He sounded almost patient to his ears.  "I want to help you run it."

"But then I'll get shot."

"I'd never shoot you," Lupin assured him impatiently.   Xander nodded.  "No I won't."

"Uh-huh.  Lotus saw it."

"You haven't betrayed me," Lupin told him.  "I wouldn't shoot you.  Even if you took Jigen away from me, it'd hurt more to shoot you than to shoot myself, okay?"

Xander shook his head.  "Just do it," Jigen ordered.  "It's not like you're working for Interpol, right?"  He shook his head.  "You're not really a Mountie?"  He frowned and shook his head.  "Then we'll only be happy for you, Xander.  Visions beside the point."

Xander turned and started to input orders into the computer, bringing things up on the screens.  His hand paused.  Doing all this either exposed him totally or he could wipe the main system and go back to his laptop.  Or he could go to his secondary hideout.  His hand hesitated and he finally pushed the button then got up and moved out of their way, heading to the ring of magic-allowed space.  He disappeared.

"He wiped it!" Lupin said angrily.  He got up and glared around.  "And he snuck off.  How typical is that!"

Lotus came down the stairs, turning off her phone.  "Sorry, instant message saying that the system here was wiped and he's moving to a backup.  Sent automatically when a system fails."  She looked at them.  "I did have a vision. You got upset at him, decided that him doing this behind your back was a betrayal, and you did shoot him, Uncle Lupin."

"I'm not going to shoot him!" he said angrily.  "The thought to kill him is crossing my mind, but I'd rather strangle him!"

Lotus walked over and looked at the computer.  "Well, he hit the wipeout emergency code, but he hasn't given the code to fully erase the system."  She sat down in the desk chair and pulled up a single file, the emergency file.  She looked at her uncles, then at that.  "It'll be gone within ten minutes."

A head appeared on the left screen, Bastian.  "What the hell is going on!" he demanded.

"Remember my vision of them shooting him?" Lotus asked.  He nodded, looking very impatient.  "They started off the same way."

"I see.  Planning on doing him in for ruling the world?"

Jigen slowly shook his head.  "He does?"

"Pretty muchly, yeah," he admitted dryly.  "Just slowly here and there adding a new person to his web.  He said he's stopped growing it because it was getting too complicated with all the food stuffs.  He's combining them under an umbrella person."

Lupin sat down in the middle of the floor. "Marcus!  Go retrieve Xander!" he shouted, knowing he was somewhere nearby.  He was working for Xander, they all knew it.

"Which secondary one is he at?" Marcus called.

"Either he went to the basement to get the stash there or he went to the Sart Center," Lotus called.  The file disappeared.  "It's fully gone now.  He'll have to reload from the backup again."

Bastian nodded.  "Not the first time.  Why is Melissa meeting with Patrick?"

"Mom wanted to give her the chance to go straight for Ray and run that side if she wanted.  She refused so he did the full disclosure thingy with them of the legit side so Ray would know why his future children were reading the Wall Street Journal."

"She finally bagged Ray?  I'm impressed, love.  She's loved him now for nearly two years."  He shrugged and looked at Lupin.  "What would you say if Xander had taken over your empire, changed it a bit so it ran more efficiently, and then added more on top of it?"

"I'd be impressed and sad that I didn't notice it," he said bitterly. "I'd never shoot him."

"Even if he was the reason your dad lost his mate?"  Lupin looked up at him.  "That bank robbery she was at five years ago, it was one of the criminals in his system.  He did shoot them for it, mostly because he didn't order it, but she was there."

Lupin shook his head.  "I'm not going to shoot him for that.  He didn't kill her.  If he didn't order it and didn't know about it in time to stop it, I can't fault him."

"He could have known about it beforehand," Lotus admitted.  "That and the Regas job last year he screwed up for you on purpose."

"Why?"

"Zenigata was downstairs in the lobby and the odds were that one of you were going to have to shoot the other one fatally this time to get past him," Bastian offered.  Lupin moaned and held his head.  "He's always moving around and behind you to make things easier, Lupin.  That's why we think you'll shoot him."

"That botched job in Monaco?" Jigen asked.

"Not him.  Pure outside interference on our part," Bastian promised.  Jigen had shot himself in the leg that time.  "Homer and I saw things that you guys weren't aware of, including that unit of the army heading for you.  That's why we jumped in.  We did a bit of tapdancing with Xander later that night but he agreed with us. The odds were too long to get out of that one alive."

"He did baby you for that injury," Lotus reminded him.

"He babies all them," Lupin said, glaring at her.  "Why, the bottom last straw why, did I shoot him?"

"Because he figured out two things were going to happen soon," Lotus admitted, getting comfortable.  "One, that if Melissa couldn't perform as heir he'd have to do something to get her with someone who could help her with that.  Which Ray can on the legit side until there's another heir.  Now, that heir, if she doesn't have a kid within the next ten years, will have to come from him.  Very specifically from him. It'll have to be like we combined him, Ishi, and Melissa into one kid who's got a stable personality and his mind and way of seeing things, which Ishi can see and Melissa's got his mind.  He was actually putting a plan in motion so someone would do that combination in a mad scientist way so they could rescue the kid. The plan was to start in about eight year, just in case, and could be stopped if unnecessary."  Jigen looked stunned at that.  "Someone's tried it on him once without his planning it.  That's why Sierra's pregnant, Uncle Lupin.  I think that one's you and Uncle Stan though, not really sure.  They captured her as a useful surrogate."

"We found out about a day after she disappeared and went to save her but by then it had already been implanted," Bastian offered.  "Sorry, Lupin.  She knows.  We told her, and she did test pregnant just the other day.  She's trying to figure out how to tell her man."

Lupin shook his head.  "What's the other reason?"

"He's recently figured out when and what job is most likely your death," Bastian offered.

"Soon?" Jigen asked.

Bastian shook his head.  "For Xander, soon is a decade.  Soon in this case is about twenty years.  Which makes the first problem more apparent.  Xander's very good at finding patterns in things," he told them.  "He's very good at sussing out how current events are going to shape the future.  Yeah, Ray and Melissa's first kid won't be the heir he needs most likely.  She's too new at it and the kid'll need a freer hand to develop the way it needs to.  It'll be her second child, born a bit too early into the first one's life.  Or her twin, which for some reason Melissa will leave more to Ray.  He'll be the one to shape it into the heir Xander needs because he understand Xander the way his daughter doesn't."

"Uncle Xander's a puzzle guy," Lotus explained.  "Everything to him is a puzzle.  Everything he does, that everyone does, is a piece and it's making a giant whole.  He can affect the whole by twitching corners here and there so they lay flat and work together, or by removing certain pieces and replacing them with ones that fit better.  That's how he uses the patterns he finds in things.  What he's trained to do and to be only helps with that.  Right now, he's got a well-working machine that purrs along happily most of the time with only minor adjustments needed. Here and there he's got to tweak jobs and things as well to protect lives and to make sure things happen in a good way."

"Because right now that spider web of his is about covering the whole world.  If he wanted to twitch a finger, he could start a monetary crisis or he could help ease a small one.  He could basically undermine crime and let it come crashing down or tweak it a bit so it's more hidden and the more obvious and stupid are weeded out," Bastian offered.  "And this scared him when he realized he had built it this way and that there's no heir to it.  Melissa can't.  She can't handle the strain of all of it.  She and Ishi could together, but Ishi didn't want that sort of responsibility.  He's his lieutenant in a way."

"How do you accidentally take over the world?" Jigen demanded.

"Easy.  You start small and you build little cells of helpers, then connect them together.  Then you find out they need things that they're not getting and you add those in.  Then you start playing with your passions for collections which adds another group of people you weren't going to touch before.  And as time grows while you're doing that you lose track of the whole picture because you're focused on the smaller vision.  He was focused on you guys, his family, and making sure they were safe and protected.  Hence people like Tornado and Spider."

"So, he accidentally took over the world, he's got twitchy fingers on the strings, and it could cause the world to reformat itself?"

"With a big ol' grinding noise like you forgot what a clutch was," Lotus agreed. "You got scared of him, Uncle Lupin.  That's why you shot him, to protect others."

Lupin shook his head.  "It can't be that simple."

"Right now, he's got strings that could topple all of Europe's syndicates in about six tweaks," Bastian told him.  "Some blackmail, some knowledge.  Some not. You topple those six and what they do, and if they talk about *anything* it leads you to another string. That string yanks and topples someone and they talk.  It's what the US wanted to do to the drug cartels but couldn't."

"And Xander did this without realizing it?" Jigen asked bitterly. "How?"

"Because he thought he was giving the family and his people what they needed to survive and prosper," Lotus said firmly.  "When he realized what he was doing, it was fairly shaky.  The web could have come apart with the slightest stress in a number of places.  That's why he had to move forward and solidify it a bit, making plans in case his heir never came to be in time.  Making plans to make sure that the world wouldn't topple.  Technically, my vision was about two years ago, when you found the house in Mexico.  It could have toppled then and didn't.  It was firming up at that time."

"By doing this island..." Jigen started.

"It actually allowed him to step back and out of control a bit, letting the web include him instead of only being manipulated by him," Lotus offered. "The web can stand alone now and he's got people running things even if he died.  He had to get to this point because you can't unmake something this knotted and complicated without destroying a good bit of stuff.   If he hadn't solidified it, then it would have fallen apart slowly after he had died."

"Because he did?" Lupin prompted.

"It'll live on and keep going as long as someone knows it's there and is in charge.  Or a few people in charge.  That's why he was splitting it up after him.  Melissa got the criminal side and a few of the legit things that she could handle, like the research center.  Bastian was getting the intelligence network.  Homer was taking over the food production stuff if he died.  There's a few others here and there."

"So we needed out of the way too?" Lupin asked.

"No, he needed to be out of the way and you know he's paranoid that you'll leave him, Uncle Lupin.   He's still a Xander underneath everything."

"Fine," he agreed.  "I won't shoot him.  I still want to know.  I want to help."

"This takes delicate precision," Bastian told him.  "We get our minor parts and we gently play them as we're trained into our roles.  He's been helping you and Jigen along but I think Ishi's gotten more responsibility recently.

"Ishi needed the vacation too," Lotus agreed.  "He was basically running a few things for Uncle Xander."  She looked at her other uncles, and her father coming down the stairs with Ishi. "He's popped out."

"I got the message about the computer system," he said, hauling his sister up and sitting down behind the desk.  He checked the computer, then the physical mainframes he was using, then groaned and shook his head. "I told him that wouldn't wipe completely."

"Ishi, you need permission," Bastian ordered.

"I got it, from Melissa.  Mom's starting to get scared of himself and what he's built.  He needs the steadying influence of his lovers, if they don't shoot him."  He started to type, and a message came up. He typed something in, frowning a bit, then smirked and typed in something else, bypassing it and moving into the backups.  "Reloading.  Hold on, Bastian. I'll call back if we lose you."  He hit a few more keys, a function key, and then the screens started to refill with nonsense code.  Then it was back to the way it had been.  "Yesterday's backup.  Let me reload."  He went through the morning reload process to update everything and then leaned back.  "Huh, the stocks are low today," he complained.  "Very low."

"He split most of them," Bastian reminded him.

"Oh, yeah.  I forgot.  I don't deal with that."  He shrugged and looked back at his uncles.  "Well, you've got a bit of a problem.  He did hit the basement stash, which is in Stan's basement, and got caught.  They're presently holding him.  The commissioner was in the house and heard Stan yell.  Thinks he was there to kill him probably."

"Wonderful, can we get there?"

Marcus came back.  "Bloody hell yes.  What happened?"

"They found out and my vision popped into Mom's head," Lotus told him.

"Hmm, well the world has stabilized since then," Marcus offered.  He looked at Lupin.  "Are you going to shoot him?"

"No. I might strangle the brat for working behind my back, but I'm not going to shoot him."

"Fine."  Marcus walked outside the circle. "Lotus.  Let's do a small portal, love."

Ishi looked at the screen.  "Why?  Melissa has it.  She called dibs."

"How can you tell?" Jigen asked.

Ishi got up and stood on the desk, pointing at something.  "These are called action codes.  There's someone who routes calls and messages for us, well, a computer really.  Melissa called in, said she had him to rescue, and now it's showing the code."  He hopped back down, looking it over.  "Huh.  Lotus, go ahead and go.  I don't like the looks of this."  She nodded and created a small portal, stepping through with Marcus and her father.  They came back about ten minutes later with Xander, but not Melissa.  "'Lis?" he asked.

"Heading back to the lab.  Easily took out the convoy as they were starting off.  They weren't really sure which group this was. Seems Interpol might have a clue about his people."

"Huh," Ishi said dryly, smirking at Xander.  "I fixed the computer system."  He looked at his favorite uncle, the one who had raised him, then at Lupin and Jigen, then back at his uncle.  "Come explain.  I don't think they'll shoot you and if they try, they'll be on the injured list for a while."  His father and Lupin both gaped at him.  "I am that good," he reminded them.  "And I am faster than everyone in this room, including Uncle Jigen."  Jigen nodded at that.  "So no guns and I don't get to enact my male PMS issues."  He got out of the chair and patted it. "I already did the update for you."  He gave him a hug once he was sitting down.  "It'll be okay, just let them into the files," he whispered.  "The information sheet files."

"I want all of it, including financial resources," Lupin said firmly.  "It's no fair hiding this from your lovers, Xander."

"Yes, sir," he sighed, pulling up the information sheet file on one screen and the bank account summaries on the other.  He got out of the chair and held Ishi, getting a hug from Goemon as well.  "You didn't want to know?"

"You'll tell me some day," he said prosaically.  "Have I been working for you or for him?"

"Mostly for him, but that thing with Selinas last year I used shamelessly," he admitted with a weak grin.  Goemon shrugged and continued to hug him.

Arsene came trotting down the stairs.  "What's going on?"

Lupin looked at her, then at Xander.  "You didn't get a text message?"

"No....."

"I figured she had enough to do with your empire," Xander admitted.  He looked at her.  "He's figuring out how I just took over the world."

"That's no fair!  I get to be the evil dicatoress!"  She stomped off, going up to pout and sulk.  She always had to compare to what those two had done.  She didn't even get to participate in it this time, not even as a minion of evil.  Her grandfather found her sulking and hugged her. "Mom took over the world and didn't let me help," she complained.

"I'm sure he thought you were too busy remaking it in your image, princess.  After all, you're a busy girl.  When do you have time to sit in a boring and dusty office and do paperwork?  Or did you want to have to be responsible for everyone and everything going wrong everywhere and have to have an heir to take over and all that stuff?"

"Eww."  She shuddered.  "Paperwork and kids?  That's the nastiest combination ever," she complained, looking at him. "He didn't let me help at all.  Everyone else got some funny text message thingy."

"I'm sure he used you without you knowing.  Some of your jobs probably went to further his plans."

"Oh."  She considered it.  "You think?"

"I do.  Xander's a very smart young man and I'm sure he took advantage of all the work you and the other children do to further his plans."

"Okay, I guess."

"And not a bit of paperwork," he reminded her.  "No responsibilities.   You can keep being Lupin the Fourth without having to worry about things like starving children."

"Yeah, that's a good thing," she agreed, hugging him.  "Thank you, grandfather."

"You're welcome, child.  Now go play.  This island isn't meant for sulking.  It's meant for playing."  She smiled and nodded, heading off.  "Mercurial, just like her grandmother," he said sadly.  He went to find his son, getting this 'taking over the world' thing explained to him.

***

Lupin finished reading and looked at his man, then at Jigen, who had been reading over his shoulder.  "Xander," he said finally, waving a hand.  "Come here."  He slowly walked over and Lupin settled him in his lap.  "You made it solid, right?"  He nodded, swallowing hard.  "I'm not going to shoot you, Xander. I might fuck you into next week, but I'm not going to shoot you."  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "It's totally solid?  If you die during a job, the world won't go to hell with us?"

"No.  I've set it up so people can take over until Melissa gets her kids trained."

"Good.  Very good.  What happens if you have to go underground and change your identity for real?"

"The way I have things set up, only a few people know I'm me.  Only a few lines lead back to the hub of the web, but a few others know that they work for me because they do so much of the other stuff between the groups.  So I can change identities if I need to.  I have another one set up and most everyone knows about it.  That's why I used to do everything from a laptop. I still can, but there's too many screens for me to manage all at once sometimes.  That's why I got the big setup here."

"How did all this get started?" Jigen asked, lighting up.  Xander handed him an ashtray.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  I started the legit side from the insurance settlements from California and my insurance company from the quake and losing my eye. I borrowed a bit at first, but not that much and I've long since paid it off.  The one time I did have to borrow from the illegal stuff I paid it back into that fund as soon as I could.  And see, everything makes decent profits.  The research center gets thirty percent of anything sold.  With the weapons and the robotics and the energy portions, that's a good bit each year.  The anime company gives me dividends each year.  See, I own some, like those, I have some that I have majority interest in, like a bank, and there's some that I have good stocks in but not enough to overrule the board or anything, just to be heard."

"You...have...interest in a bank?" Lupin asked.  Xander pulled up that in the financial profiles. "Oh," he said weakly, staring at it.  "I wondered how we got all new cards."  He shook his head quickly. "So you're being really helpful and it's good for you, right?" Lupin asked.  Xander nodded.  "Did you need to retire?"

"No but I needed to take a year off to make sure that the food umbrella works well together.  There's way too many of them so I'm assigning an overseer who'll report to me about them."

"That's...good," Lupin agreed, nodding.  Jigen nodded too when they looked back at him. "Where was the island listed?"

"It's not.  It's not a profit-making venture," he said dryly, pulling up the housing file.  "It's in here."  Lupin paged through it, blinking at the information sheets on each of the houses Xander owned.

"Um, Mom, was your spare laptop at Uncle Stan's?"

"No, just some cash, some car keys, and a passport.  Why?"

"Just making sure.  Could he have access to the laptop?"

"Only if he knew my password, which is now in Klingon.  Why?"

"Because these information sheets could get you really in trouble."

"This is all the legal stuff, honey.  The illegal stuff has a separate password to get into it.  While I'm working on it, even if you open one of the other laptops or the other computer array, it won't tell you what I'm doing.  It'll only show the updates to the stocks, the chat window, those things."

"Okay, just making sure," Ishi agreed.

"That's one of the first things I asked too," Xander admitted, grinning at him.  "So, if Melissa can't have an heir, it'll have to be someone with my outlook and ability to see patterns, your ability to see problems, and Melissa's brains.  Any particular mad scientist you wanna see make that kid?"

Ishi snickered and shook his head. "I'd hate to see that kid.  We'll make sure to warp Melissa's kids since she's the heir."

"Thankfully you are not, or think about all the work you would be doing each day," Goemon said dryly.

"He's my messenger of doom," Xander said with a weak grin for him.  "Him, Bastian, and Homer.  He's also my lieutenant I can trust in the field if something happens, like Bastian and Homer."

"Which means that when we retire, he gets one of our spots in the field," Bastian offered with a smirk for the young man.  "Isn't that right?"

"I'd rather have Homer's.  He's very unbusy. You deal with too many idiots all day within the intelligence communities, Bastian."

"Point," he admitted smugly.  "It takes a certain sort of patience to do what I do."

Lupin finished reading and then looked at Xander.  "Can we hold another ball?  That way I can see the rest of the empire at work?  Since I'm a part of it and didn't realize?"

Xander nodded.  "Uh-huh.  We'll have to so everyone knows and can meet Ray.  Since he'll be the new heir's father, they need to get to know him.  Besides, his mother wants to see him again."   Lupin grinned at that.  "When did you want to hold it?"

"How about next month?  We've got that meeting anyway," Bastian offered.  "Just change it to announce that your daughter was now officially dating and to introduce the guy."

Xander considered it.  "Sure.  Where are we holding it?  London, right?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  I'll be using the main house there, the one with the escalators."  Bastian nodded again, smirking at him.  "I like that one.  Call it out, my lieutenant."

"Yes, sir."  He smirked.  "Have fun, mate."  He disappeared and the genetics example came back.

Xander looked at the results on the bottom and sighed.  "Ray and Melissa can have it but it came up best if Ray and Ishi had one."

"Well, there was that scientist who just bred Uncle Stan and Uncle Lupin," Ishi said dryly.  "How is Sierra doing?"

"Pregnant," Xander said bitterly.  "Forced surrogacy but still pregnant."  He looked down at Lupin.  "You're not mad?"

"I'm furious at myself for not realizing you were still building your empire," he said, staring at him.  "I'm not mad at you, Xander.  You're the only person I know who could take over the world by accident."

Jigen gave him a short hug.  "I'm only scared for your sanity, what little is left after raising the kids."  Xander gave him a grin for that.  "We good?"

"We're fine," he agreed gently, hugging Jigen, then Lupin.  "Can I have cuddles?"

"While you explain everything to us," Lupin told him.

Xander pulled out a drawer and took out a remote, pointing it at the wall behind him.  A bed came down slowly and a few small lights were lit over there.  "Okay."

"That's our cue to leave, dad, Lotus," Ishi said firmly, shooing them up the stairs.  "Just think, dad, you used to worry about what Mom was teaching me."

"I still do, son.  I know nothing of this and I will hear about your part of the endeavor."

"Yes, Father."  He caught Lotus by her shirt.  "Uh-uh.  If I have to explain, you have to explain."

"Yes, daughter, do come explain such things to me.  You don't have to tell your future stepmother but you do have to tell me."

"Stepmother?" Lotus asked.

"Really?" Ishi asked in that 'terribly interesting news' voice.

Goemon blushed.  "Yes."

"Then we should get to know her better, father.  You've been hiding with her and I haven't even gotten to meet her yet.  That's improper for your first born son, don't you think?"

"Yes, son, you will be formally meeting her tomorrow.  Along with her twin sisters.  Now, speak."

"Your hut?"

"Is where she is sleeping."

"Ah."  Lotus nodded.  "Then my treehouse it is."  She led them to the treehouse she and Xander had built, climbing up into it.  "Here we are.  There's pillows, just don't lose my place in the books."  They moved books out of their way and sat on the comfortable pillows, looking at each other.  "Fine, I'll start. I 'm probably the least complicated."  She smiled at her father.  "I'm doing magical research for him, daddy.  Including people, spells, places, and artifacts."

***

Ray looked up as the delivery guy knocked on the office door, nodding him inside.  "For who?" he asked, finding a pen to sign for it.

"An Inspector Vecchio?" he said, reading it off the card, then at the stunned looking man.  He grinned.  "I'm assuming that's you?"  He nodded.  "Sign here please," he said, holding out the clipboard.  Ray signed it.  "Thank you, sir.  There's a letter and a bag."  He pulled the letter out of his bag then handed over the actual bag, a suit bag.  "There you are.  Thank you, sir."  He walked out, not waiting for a tip.

Ray hung up the suitbag, then sat down to read the letter, ignoring Stan's attempts to see.  He finally hit him.  "Get out of the light."

"Fine.  What's going on?"

Ray looked up at him.  "A ball for Melissa in the empire."

"Really?"  He looked at the note.  "Are we invited?"

"Nope.  She said that Bix would go into labor right then and there if she did.  Mom, um, Xander, her mom, called to ask her and Bix declined."

"Fine.  I'll look forward to the report," he complained, going back to his desk.  Zenigata was off today so he was in charge. "If that's a tux, it might need pressed again."

Ray got up to look at it, shaking his head.  "Pristine."  He zipped the bag back up and sat back down, looking at the letter.  He didn't have to go.  He could break this off.  It was still wrong for him to date someone who was just over half his age.  Then again, his mother liked her.  He liked her.  He liked touching her because she made him feel young again. She had vowed to hunt him down if he left her.  He believed her too, she would.  She'd have fun and smirk at him after she was done hunting him down.  So he guessed he'd have to go.  "I hate these things."

"Yeah, well, they don't happen often," Stan said dryly, glancing over at him.  "Could be worse."

"Yeah, I guess," he agreed, settling in to finish up his current report and project.

***

Melissa smiled as Ray opened the door, holding out a hand since he was dressed.  "Ready?"

"Nearly.  Let me grab my keys and do my teeth."

"Like I care, Ray."  She followed him inside, her dress a whisper against the rug in the entry.  She closed the door and smiled, watching him head into the bathroom.  She looked up as Bix poked her head down the stairs.  "You can still come.  We'd love to have you two."

"No, it's not proper."

"Fuck proper, Bix. There'll be cops there."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure.  Get dressed, woman!"  She smiled and went to change into something more formal, waking Stan up to do the same.  They came down a few minutes later and Ray came out of the bathroom, looking at them.  She was fussing with Bix's hair for her, adding a few of the pins she had in her bag to help it stay in place.  Ray just swatted at Stan's hands and did the bowtie, then shook his head.  "We done?" Melissa asked.  Everyone nodded.  "Good.  Let's go.  Limo's waiting."  She opened the door, letting the other couple go first, then took Ray's hand as they walked out, letting him lock the door.  She looked him over. "I knew that would look good on you."

"You didn't have to."

She pinched him on the butt.  "Yes I did.  You didn't have one."  She smiled sweetly.  "They're rare, but they do happen now and then."  She took his arm as they walked to the car, being helped in then getting in.  "Ah.  Air conditioning is nice."  Stan snickered.  "It's humid on the island right now.  All the pretties will think the family doesn't love them, but we're all there tonight.  Even Fred and Alex."

"You managed to get Alex into a dress?" Bix asked.  "How?"

"Easy.  She looks quite deadly and can fight in it," Melissa said smugly.  "Ar and I took her shopping and told the woman she had to look deadly, because she was."

"I'll have to remember that for my daughter," Bix said, holding a hand over her stomach.  She smiled at her husband, who could only hug her.  "Thank you," she said quietly, staring into his eyes.

"Honey, you're part of the family, just like Auntie Money Lady.  We love you guys.  You guys get the good perks."  She looked at Stan, then at Bix's stomach.  "Daughter?"

"Daughter by the ultrasound," Bix agreed happily.  "He said he didn't care."

"Good, I'd hate to have to kick his ass in this dress if he did."  She smiled at Stan, then at Ray.  "So, you're going to be introduced to the empire tonight, both sides actually, and then we'll be chatted up about various and stupid things for a few hours.  By the way, anyone who asks if I'm pregnant, tell them quite firmly no and they've got to wait at least another five years."

Stan coughed.  "Xan's been doing his puzzle seeing into the future.  They think they've got another twenty years left."

"Oh, fuck me," she growled.  "No, not before five years is up.  I don't care."

Ray leaned over to kiss her.  "It'll happen when it does, I'm not planning on kids."

"You'd better, or else you may have to end up rescuing some kid from a mad scientist," Stan offered dryly.  "The perfect match would be a kid from her, Ishi, and Xander, or from you and Ishi according to the genetics stuff his computer was crunching."  Ray looked horrified at the prospect.  "So, ya see," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "Could be worse I guess."

"No it can't!"

"You could have to try the natural way," Stan teased.

"Okay, that's worse," Ray agreed, shuddering a bit.  "So why are we going?"

"So everyone gets to meet you, dear," she said with a smile.  "Besides, we were having a meeting earlier anyway.  We wrapped up about an hour ago."  The limo pulled into the driveway of a hotel and the door was opened.  She smiled at the doorman, accepting his hand out of the back of the limo.  Ray got out and tipped the guy, then took Melissa's hand.  She got to lead the way and he even let her stop them before they entered for some fussing of his lapels and checking his tie and his hair.  Then she pushed open the doors with a foot and smiled at everyone in there.  She walked in on Ray's arm, making a very plain statement.

Xander smirked at his little girl and her flair for the dramatic.  "Welcome, Melissa, Ray.  Ah, you did talk Bix and Stan into coming.  Good."  He smiled at them as they joined him.  "You guys remember Melissa, right?"  Everyone nodded.  "No, she didn't change sides."  Most everyone in the room relaxed.  "We all know Interpol is throwing away some of their best people and Melissa managed to catch the one she's wanted for a while now."  He looked at Ray.  "Let me remind you in front of witnesses that I'm capable of cruel and torturous acts if you hurt my daughter, and I might even have fun with it.  Like I'm going to on Lotus' former boyfriend."  Stan snickered at that.  "Fine, I'll let you help," he agreed.  He smiled at the band and they struck up a number so Melissa got to kick off this ball in grand style, in her man's arm, laughing at something he was grumbling.  Xander waved one woman closer.  "Tanya, this is Stan, he'll be taking over the anime part of your job, and his wife Bix, who used to be our nanny but now only babies him," he introduced.

She smiled and shook his hand.  "Thank you.  I'm going insane.  I don't speak Japanese.  I barely read it and I had to learn for this."

He smiled. "I'm now fluent in it.  Between chasing this goober, my boss, and my own anime collection I felt I should be."  She hugged him.  "It'll be a while."

"That's fine.  Can you come tour this weekend?  That way you can see the setup? You've got a whole floor to yourself at the moment."

"Sure, if Bix agrees," he agreed, looking at his wife.

"I can't keep you from it," she said sarcastically.  "You'd sneak out."

He kissed her gently. "You can come.  That's where his kimonos are going in a few years."

"Only if we build a new wing," Tanya said bitterly.  "Xander, I love you, but we're running out of room again."  He flinched.  "Sorry, boss, but we are."

"How can you run out of room?" Jigen asked.

"The bookcases are so close together I can't between some to dust," she complained. "The Pristine room's full too, boss.  Either build on or find us a bigger spot."

"I'll look into adding on," Xander agreed.  "You should have emailed me."

"I lost your address," she complained.  He pulled out a card and handed it over.  "Thank you, boss."

"You're welcome, Tanya.  We'll figure out what you need before I head back to the island in a few days.  That way I can arrange for it and then go relax and just check on you."

"Fine.  As long as it gets fixed.  I don't want to leave any dust near those boxes of comics."

"I wouldn't either," he agreed with a small grin.

"Xander, how did you fill up a *house* with comics?" Jigen demanded.

"Easy," he said with a grin.  "All the issues ever made?"  He slowly inched away but Lupin caught him.  "Hi, Lupin."

"We'll be helping take the tour with you," he assured him with a smile.  "I have a feeling that the six hundred DVD's on the island and the ones in your room in France don't even cover a third of your collection."  Xander looked sheepish.

"No, not in the least," Tanya agreed.  "They're probably duplicates of what we've got at the library though."  She smiled sweetly and bowed to the couple.  "I'll see you this weekend, let me get your number?"  Ray handed her a card and she tucked them both into her purse.  "Thank you.  Whenever you can is fine with me."  She hurried off, going to tell the others that Stan was a nice guy at least. Most everyone was smiling at Melissa and Ray as they danced and chatted.  They were cute together in an odd way but it was clear where her loyalties lay.  She had been overheard saying she wasn't giving up her job for him.

Ray's mother sniffled, leaning on her daughter's arm.  "He is so handsome," she said happily.  "She's a beautiful girl.  There will be many bambinos."

"I'm sure there will, Ma," Frannie agreed, patting her on the back.  "We'll go pounce him after he's done dancing with her.  The song stopped and Ma walked out there.  "Ma!"

Ray's head popped up and he frowned at them.  "Xander pulled you into his empire too?"

"Mi Familia is half Ma's," Frannie said with a smirk. "She's a silent partner."

"I see.  Xander!"  He looked over but even Lupin looked bemused that Xander had just disappeared.  "I'll get him later."  He smiled and pulled his mother in for a hug.  "Wanna dance with me for a bit, Ma? I'll get you in a minute, Frannie.  Maria?"

"Not here.  Tony left to head home and she's with the kids."

"I'll have to tell someone he's back," he said sweetly.

"Xander already did," Frannie teased.  "It's nice that you joined Interpol with the kinda- brother and gave us another one, Ray."

"Yeah, but he's still gonna be dead when I find him," Ray said dryly, taking his mother out onto the floor to dance with her.

Melissa patted a stray pin back into place and smiled at her future sister-in-law.  "Hi.  I'm Melissa."  She shook her hand.  "Before you ask, I love to spoil Ray rotten."

"He's already rotten.  He used to torture me all the time."  She walked her off to talk to her.  "So, you're heading home with him later this week?"  She looked startled but nodded.  "Good.  Ma wants you at the house for at least a weekend so she can pump you for information."

"Of course.  I had plans of stopping in on her once she found out anyway. I wasn't sure how long it was going to take Ray to tell her."  She shrugged and sat them down in a little alcove so they could chat for a while.  Ma came back to chat with her while Ray got grabbed by other members of the empire to be talked to.  She smiled at him, and he smiled back, and all was right in her world.

Uh-Huh.  That's Not My Sort of Xander.

Xander looked up, then relit his two prayer candles, sending a silent, hopeful, desperate plea to the Gods who watched over him.  Tomorrow, an immortal and a demon were both coming for him.  He wasn't sure why.  He still only read as a pre-immie most of the time, and the demon only said it wanted him.  Not if it wanted him for sex or to kill.  He was panicking and he knew that.  He knew Oz would help him but he couldn't take the challenge and Xander was good, but this immortal was an ancient one.  He knew Methos didn't even know who he was, he had asked already, and there was probably no way he could beat him.  He was good, but he wasn't the God of War.

"Nah, but you'd look cute in his outfit," Strife said as he appeared behind him, giving him a hug.  "Tell me.  What's gonna happen?"

Xander turned to look at him, looking miserable he knew.  "Tomorrow, there's a demon coming for me.  I don't know why.  I've never heard of him," he said, slumping a bit.  "There's also an immie coming who's challenged *me* for some reason.  An ancient one, like Methos.  I don't know what the hell to do, Strife.  If they get together, I'm fucking doomed and I'm not sure I can fight either one of them.  I can't reach anyone.  I told Oz and he just said it'd be fine, that we didn't have to go.  They're coming here though, I can't just hide inside the house.  He's promised to blow it and the animals up."

Strife pulled him into his lap, cuddling him. "Okay, so we've got two problems, both of them fights.  They're coming on the same day.  Why?"

"I don't know," he said desperately.  "I have no idea why they're coming at all!  Methos doesn't know more than this immortal is really old.  The demon is one I've *never* heard of.  I don't even know what sort he is."  He looked at him, just staring.  "I don't know what to do.  I'm about to run around screaming and take poison."  Strife gave him a squeeze.  "I'm sorry I'm being a bother but I have not a clue."

Strife nodded, cuddling him.  "Let me think for a few hours, Xander.  You've got time.  I'll wake you up when we've got an idea.  Maybe Ares can help for a bit."  He kissed him on the back of the head.  "You go up to get some sleep. It's nearly midnight and you being tired won't help matters any."  Xander nodded, kissing him on the chin before heading up to his bed and the lover waiting on him.  Strife looked up, then disappeared, heading up to Ares' temple.  "So, what's with the immie and the demon coming toward the anchor tomorrow?" he asked bluntly.  Ares looked confused.  "He's in a blind panic, Unc.  He's got an ancient one and a higher level, unknown, demon coming for him.  He has no clue what or how he's gonna handle this.  I went to try to make him rest for a bit, but he's seriously thinking about running instead and giving up *everything* that'll be destroyed."

Ares looked thoughtful, pulling a special map over.  "Sunnydale," he ordered it.  It reformed as a map of Sunnydale with major powers listed.  "Name?"

"Of the immie?  He never said but I got it out of his head.  He said Scorn?"

"Scon?" he suggested, tapping on that dot.  A dossier came up but it wasn't exactly helpful.  "About three thousand," he noted.  "That's all I've got on him. Used to be a Viking."  He tapped on the higher level demons.  "Demon?  Which one?"

"Not a clue. All he knows is that it was a demonic messenger who sent the challenge letter.  No reason given."  He came over to look.  "It's that one I think," he said, tapping on a dot outside the city.  "It feels like the letter felt to Xander."  He watched Ares study the dossier.  "Any ideas?"

"Scon won't kill the demon and the demon won't kill him," Ares decided.  "They're working together.  They're a bait and switch team.  If one gets him, Scon'll get his head.  If the demon wins, he'll still get the quickening."  He looked at him.  "We can't let this happen.  The others would jump in."

"So what's the solution?" Strife asked bitterly.  "We go distract them?  We go drive 'em off?  We do something unusual and step in?"

Ares shook his head.  "We can't step in directly.  I have no idea how they even heard of Xander."  He moved back, going to stare out his window at the stars.  "There's two good choices.  Can we drive them off?"

"I don't know, want me ta do a personality check?" he asked.

"No, I'll send Eris," he promised, sending her off with a thought on the situation.  They waited and she appeared a few minutes later, shaking her head.  "No what?"

"No.  I don't know how they heard about Xander but someone turned them onto him. They think he's this powerful, strong guy who takes heads with a whim and a grin.  They won't be turned.  Even if they see he's not that powerful, it's a new working team and they're working out the bugs on him.  Also, the demon's got helpers.  He's got a small army."  Ares and Strife both moaned.  "Any other ideas?"

"We need to play to the crowd," Strife said, looking at Ares.  "Remember those rips you felt around him?"  Ares looked at him and nodded.  "Can we reopen them?  A few of them were better fighters of evil.  This Xander can fight but shouldn't, not at these odds.  With even just two more Xanders he could probably win and live."

"They're shut," Ares told him. "There's only a tiny mailslot and we can't reopen them without unbalancing something again.  It was bad enough those kids did."  He looked at him, then shook his head.  "There can't be another Xander that could help in those worlds anyway.  Even the one who fights evil that way doesn't fight on these playing fields."

"No, but there's one who does," Cupid said as he appeared, big book in hand.  "When that happened, I traced all the possible Xander's, just in case we got more so we could figure out how to rebalance things.  There is that near-vampire Xander," he offered.  Ares moaned and shook his head.  "He could."

"He can't, Cupid.  He's not that strong.  Magically yes, but not in this world.  In his own world."

"Then we need a Xander who can control at least one half of it," Cupid decided, flipping open the book to the page he had been staring at.  "Come see."  They all bent over the book.

"Demon Lord," Strife said in awe.

"Fighter," Ares said appreciatively.

"Bad guy," Eris said, sounding iffy.

"He still slays now and then," Cupid admitted.  "I did a more thorough check of him because I wasn't so sure he wouldn't come through.  He's pretty close and he's done some time and place travel before."  He looked at them.  "It'd take a major break to bring him, he's too far away for anything but a switch."

"Yeah, but that'll mean that Xan'll be safe," Strife told him.  "This one sounds like he can take it all and then some."  He leaned on the table again.  "Besides, if our Xander takes his head, then he'll be overloaded and it'll unbalance them again.  It'll drive Oz nuts."  He looked at the book.  "Does that one have an Oz?"

"No, he's got two thieves," Cupid told him, smirking a bit.  "He's also a female Xander at the moment."

"Why?" Strife asked.

"Demere choker," he said with a smug look.  "Switches back and forth a lot.  Janus over there likes him so we could get him to help switch them out.  It'd be his sort of chaos to put someone like our Xander over there.  His men are players."  He looked at Ares.  "Seeing a flaw?"

"Yeah, what makes you think he'll help?" Eris asked.

Cupid looked at her and then he winked.  "He's a thief, Discord.  What did our Xander have all over his house recently?"

"Gems.  A reward," Ares said lightly, smirking at his son.  "We should ask."

"Fuck askin'," Strife said dryly.  "We're running out of time here.  He was trying to put off being this desperate for a bit.  It's tomorrow, late morning."

Discord nodded.  "Then I can get behind this plan.  We don't have much of a choice if we want to keep the present anchor and his mate sane."

Ares nodded.  "Janus!" he yelled.  "Come here!"  Janus appeared, looking confused.  He pointed at the book.  "We've got a problem with our anchor."

"I saw them.  He'll never beat them," he agreed, coming over to look at the book.  He blinked and touched the name, reading the aura since he was one of his.  "He can," he agreed smugly.  "He'll fight you though."

"So?" Ares demanded.  "Let him.  He'll need to be in our good graces to get back."

"Can you help us move 'im?" Strife asked quietly.

"If you're sure," Janus offered. The gods around him nodded.  "Fine.  Where?"

"His lawn.  It's safest," Eris told him.

"The bedroom should be fine," Strife offered.  "It's warded.  Oz'll have a great shock but I'm sure it'll be fine.  We can explain it later."

"Sure," Discord said with a wicked grin. This would boost her energy levels for weeks.  If not longer.  "Now?"

"Now," Ares agreed.  "Strife, go there to anchor it."

Strife nodded, disappearing.  He landed beside the bed and knocked out Oz as deeply as he could, then gently woke Xander, making him blink at him.  "We can do somethin'," he offered quietly, "but there's a cost."

"Whatever it is," he vowed.

"You've got to go to another Xander's world for a bit.  He can beat 'em both, but his world's different.  He's a thief in his."

"I can't steal."

"Just be entertaining," he said with a smirk.  "Got it?"  He nodded. "Good boy."   He felt the magic starting.  "Close your eyes.  It's a nasty trip."  He put a kiss on Xander's forehead, then he disappeared.  A few seconds later another Xander appeared and he felt along his necklace.  Janus came down and tapped it, making it inactive for now.  He and Strife shared a look before disappearing.  Strife did leave a note beside him, but that was all he could do this time.  Then he went to get drunk.  It was a bad thing but necessary.

***

Oz woke up, sniffling the person beside him.  He sat up, staring at the Xander.  Not his Xander but *a* Xander.  "What the hell?" he muttered, shaking him.  That Xander moaned and swatted but he continued.  "Hey!"  Xander sat up, staring at him, looking very confused.  "You and me both," he admitted.  "Where's my Xander?"

"Oz?"

"Yeah.  Where's my Xander?"

"Aaaaahhhhhhhh....." he said, just staring at him.  "Hold on, my Oz is older."

"No shit?" he asked dryly.  He spotted the letter and snatched it, even though it was addressed to that Xander.  He read it three times before moaning and handing it over.  "Methos!  Ray!"  They came running in and stopped when they saw the Xander he was in bed with.  "There's an immortal and a demon coming and they wanted Xander.  Did you hear anything about this?"

"He said one tried to challenge him and wanted information on him," Methos said.  "We knew nothing about him, not even the Watcher's database."

The Xander who couldn't be theirs touched the choker, then looked up.  "Only a week?  Not at home?"  He heard a light laugh on the wind, and instructions.  "I understand.  Why me, Lord Janus?"  He listened to the rest of the story, then moaned and nodded, hanging his head.  "Once more into the Knighthood," he agreed.  He felt the two necklaces around his neck loosen and he was himself.  He looked at the others, staring in awe at them.  "Uh- huh," he decided finally.  "Okay.  From what I'm told, there's a demon military unit and a major immortal? Coming this way.  I can handle the demon easily, but what's an immortal and how do I handle them?  Guns, swords, any particular spells?"

"You do magic?" Ray asked, looking really confused.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, I do.  Unfortunately I was gifted against my will to a major prince of hell and tortured in hell for about nine months."  He looked at the Oz beside him.  "I have no idea where your Xander is, but if he's at my house, Lupin's got a rude awakening when he tries to roll over and get some."

"My Xander can fight," Oz promised.  "He's pretty good."

"Yeah, but these are extreme odds and those call for extreme measures," Xander said as he got out.  He looked at the pants he was wearing, then groaned, shaking his head. "I look like a concubine."

"Ours is," Oz told him. "He's a member of GHS."

"GHS?"

"Greedy hedonistic sluts society," Ray told him.

"Ah."  He nodded once.  "I'm not.  I'm a gunman."

"You're a what?" Methos demanded, and Ray echoed it.

Xander bowed, smirking at him.  "I'm Lavelle.  Second gunman to Lupin the Third and rightful tenth in command of Hell via consort."  They all stared at him.  "I'm a martial arts master in two forms, and with a sword, and parent to a couple of kids.  Oh, shit, Arsene's gonna have a field day with this," he moaned, slapping himself on the head.

"You're an assassin?" Ray asked weakly, sitting on the foot of the bed.  "Why?"

"I was found and healed by one, who took me in as his apprentice.  It's complicated, babe."  He smirked at him.  "Though, you look a bit different in my world.  The hair dye thing your idea?"

"I'm about sixty here," he offered.  "It's to hide who I am."

"Decent.  In my world, you and Vecchio are chasing the hell out of me most of the time.  You and your mountie."  He raised an eyebrow, then looked at the other guy.  "I have no idea who you are."  He stared at him.  "No, hold on.  You're an *immortal*, like Highlander?  The tv show?  Whacking off heads with swords, dealing with the uber-angst demon Duncan?  That immortal?"

"Well, yes, but he's actually a bit gone 'round the bend," Methos said dryly.  "Duncan's been trying to kill me and our Xander now for a few years."

"Wonderful.  He's not the immie coming, right?  'Cause I could enjoy taking his head.  He made the kids cry when he took on what's his name the demon."  He shook his head and looked around, then up.  "My sword?  Goemon's sword?  Any good sword?" he called.

"We have a few downstairs," Oz offered. "Goemon, like the anime?"

Xander nodded, smirking at him.  "Does it have us across realms?"

"No, it's Jigen, Lupin, and Goemon."

"Ah.  Yeah, I'm kinda married to Lupin and Jigen," he admitted dryly.  "I have kids with both of them and helped Goemon raise his family.  He was the one who trained me.  Jigen was my first mentor, the one who turned me into the special touch assassin you see in front of you now."  Oz blinked a few times, looking really confused now.  "Alternate realities, Oz.  They can be like that sometimes."  He opened the closet.  "I'm poaching clothes."

"Sure.  They should fit," Oz admitted.  "My Xander's a bit skinnier."

"I'm pregnant, Oz.  It happens to us."  He found a few things and stared at them, then shuddered and put them back.  "I'm sure Lupin will enjoy your Xander to no end.  He's probably expecting me to wake up and bat at him for being out so late and coming home smelling like cognac and perfume."  He found a pair of jeans and looked at the size.  "You weren't kidding.  I haven't worn that size since my swim team days."  He put them back and kept searching.  "Fuck."  He looked around, then up.  "Can't I just have one bag?" he called.  A bag plopped in front of him.  "Thanks."  He undid it, looking at the clothes inside.  "Hey, leather," he said fondly, pulling them out to check sizes.  He went into the bathroom with the bag.  "Be right back."

They waited until they heard the shower pop on before staring at each other.

"Okay, I'm confused," Ray admitted, turning to look at them.  "He's a Xander but he's a bad guy?"  The immortals both nodded.  "How?"

"He was given against his will," Methos said, thinking about it.  "I'm sure the twats we had problems with here had something to do with it."

"Wesley did it," he called out.  "Angel watched.  Buffy decided I was evil and Willow tried to kill me.  She's dead now."

"Well, that answers that," Strife said as he appeared.  He got three angry glares pointed at him and shrugged.  "Best we could do.  Someone pointed these two, who're a bag and tag team, at your boy.  He's safe.  Lupin won't take advantage of him and your Xander's known to be a stubborn guy.  This one'll cure the problem and then we'll switch 'em back as soon as we can."

"He's pregnant," Ray said bitterly.  "How?"

"From what we found, in payment for being given," Strife admitted.  "The same as the choker is. He's a bad guy but he still has those same fighting tendencies.  I can promise he won't hurt you three.  He'll love the animals.  Keep the hell hound away from him."

Xander came out in the leather pants, drying off his hair.  "They won't mind me.  The consort who had me had a great number and they all love me now," he offered, looking up as he dried his hair.  "Lord Strife."

"Lavelle."  He nodded courteously.  "If there were any other way...."

"Yeah, well, shit happens.  I get that.  I get to keep my form for a week?"  He nodded.  "Cool beans.  Swords?"

"A katana that Angel and them got him as a wedding present."

"Which means I can't use it without tainting it for him," Xander said dryly.  "Is there a Goemon here?"

"Use ta be," he admitted.

"Their family sword?"

Strife considered it. "It'd have to be put back.  It's also broken."

"It's broken?"

"We have a forge," Ray said immediately.

"Not that one," Strife told him.  "Only the family can fix it."  He looked at Xander and brought it to him, showing him it was broken.

Xander moved closer.  "That's not Zatsuigen.  That's the secondary sword.  May I?"  Strife nodded so he laid a hand on his arm and thought about that one. "That's the family main sword."

"That's in a museum," Strife said grimly.

"Do I have time to go liberate it?"

"Not really."  He considered it and sent that one where it belonged, then at him.  "You won't taint it."

"I will.  If Angel gave it to him, it's got to be special to him and my hate for Angel will taint the blade, making it unworthy of him here.  I don't want to taint this Xander any more than I have to."

"That's fine.  Let me talk to Unc."

"Sure.  Thank you."  He stepped back and bowed.  "Thanks for the clothes too."

"Welcome, Lavelle."  He winked and left, after giving Oz a quick glance.

Xander looked at them.  "Yeah, I'm the badass of the Xanders," he said dryly, smirking at them.  "Accept me as a I am."

"Sure," Oz decided.  "I'm still not sleepin' with ya."

"Not an issue.  I can sleep alone.  Besides, my Oz is helping Interpol now and then and the Ethan vampire a lot of other times."  He grabbed a t-shirt and put it on, tucking it in.  He found socks and his boots from home, putting those on as well.  He stood up, tugging at the pants.  "These things are not fitting right," he complained, muttering under his breath.  They shrunk in some places and expanded in others, and he smiled.  "Good enough."  He grabbed the jacket out of the bag and headed down the stairs.  "Coffeepot?"

"Kitchen's on the other side of the entry," Methos called after him.

"Thanks, man."  He skipped down the stairs, smiling at the dog staring at him.  "Awww, you're a cute half hellhound," he cooed, getting down to pet him and scratch his ears.  "Who's a good hunting puppy?"  The dog barked and licked his face, following him to the kitchen.  He smirked at the older woman in there.  "Hey."

"Who are you?"

"Xander."

"Not my Xander you're not," she said firmly, glaring at him.

"Well, no, I'm not *your* Xander, that's about half the problem," Xander admitted.  He ran his finger around his neck and found an extra necklace, taking it off, shaking out his silver, mid-back length hair.  He ran his fingers through it then smiled at her.  "I'm usually known by Lavelle.  I'm an assassin, thief, and badass warrior.  I got called here since there's a sitch your Xander can't handle.  He's with my men."

"Oh."  She stared at him, looking hurt.  "You went bad?"

"I was given away to a bad thing," he told her.  "The bad guys healed me.  Now I'm a black knight.  I take out the stupid of the dark side and thin the pack over there so the guys like Ray was, and is in my world, don't have to do so much work.  Coffee?"  She nodded and poured him a cup, hesitating over the sugar.  "All of us have sweet tooths," he said with a grin.  "It's a universal Xander constant.  Milk?"

"Cream," she offered, handing it over.  He smiled and finished fixing his coffee, handing back the cream.  "Need breakfast?"

"Not yet.  I need to wake up more first and think.  I'm going to be fighting later and it's not going to be pretty.  I need to make some plans before I do anything like eat.  I don't like to fight on an full stomach, it slows me down."

"We've got bagels."

"That's one thing I miss in Europe, good Jewish deli bagels," he said, accepting one with some cream cheese. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Henri.  I'm the housekeeper."

"Henri then," he said with a small smile.  "The others are having a panic and desperation confab in the big bedroom."

"I'd say so!  I doubt Oz thought he'd wake up next to a Xander that wasn't his."  She got the coffeepot and the bed tray, bringing breakfast up to them.  Her poor boys.

Xander stared out the back, watching the sun glisten off the pool as he nibbled. He knew what he needed and he didn't have it yet.  That or a sword.

Ares appeared next to the boy, watching him.  He coughed and the Xander looked at him, inclining his head slightly.  "You're a cocky bastard."

"I've earned that right," he noted dryly.  "Do we know which area the battlegrounds are?"

"Yeah.  There's a picnicking glade and it'll be there or near there."  He pulled a sword and held it out.  "It's a loan."

"No, really?" he asked with a small smirk.  "Never guessed I'd get presents for doing this."  He took the sword, testing it.  "It's horribly off balance, my lord.  Who used this thing?"

"Jett."

Xander got up to take a careful swing and frowned.  "Was he six-two and left handed?"  Ares nodded.  "Let me guess, he leaned to the right a lot?  This thing does."  He tried it again.  "Got a neutral leaning blade?"

Ares snorted.  "Not really.  Most of mine are from fallen warriors, none of which thought you worthy."

Xander raised an eyebrow, then took off his jacket and shirt, showing the marks.  "I earned mine, along with the training in two forms of martial arts.  I'm better trained than some of them were I'm sure."

"Yes, but their blades can only be released by them," he noted.

Xander groaned and put back on his shirt, sitting down to stare at the sword.  "Any other means of decapitation?"

"Ripping it off.  You that strong?"

"I was thinking magic," Xander offered.

"Not a chance.  He's immune, kid."

Xander frowned at the blade, then at him.  "It's got a crack."

"That's from the blow that killed him."

"I'm pregnant.  I'm not risking my child."  Ares stared at him and he stood up, taking his hand to put on his stomach.  The God flinched back.  "Now, I need a real sword, one that won't break on me.  I know I creep out other Xanders.  I've met a few in the past, some who were so good guy that they almost gave up their lives for it.  I'm not of the caring about that.  I thin the pack from the shadows so the others don't have to do the real work.  Can you pull my sword?"  Ares shook his head.  "Nothing of mine?"

"No.  Sorry, kid."

"What about Goemon's sword here?  Lord Strife said it was in a museum."

"The broken one?"

"Wasn't the family sword.  It was the family's second sword, for the backup heir."  Ares looked stunned.  "It was made for me to pass on to the second son."   He considered it.  "What about Ishi or Melissa's swords?  Can I have one of theirs?"

"Your daughter's is in crap condition.  She hasn't polished or sharpened in a bit.  His is in good condition but I can't take it."

Xander shook his head.  "If I've got to take heads off, I need a really good sword, one that won't be risking my life as well.  Even with leather on, it's weak armor."  He went toward where he could feel a lot of metal, finding the weapons room.  He flipped on the lights and looked around, then moaned.  "He uses a heavy ass blade."

"There's a battle axe," Oz offered from behind him.  "The rest is mostly mine and Methos'."

Xander looked back at him.  "I haven't used an axe in years, Oz.  I switched to a katana or a short sword years ago.  It's more handy in my life and more easily hidden."  He looked around, opening a few cases.  "Fucking hell."  He looked around again, then sighed and shook his head.  There was nothing here that wasn't too heavy for him.  He needed something lighter for his faster movements.  He'd get worn out with a heavier blade.  He found an old footlocker and opened it, looking inside.  "Hell!" he snapped, heading outside, stomping really.  He stood on the back lawn and touched a mark on his arm, opening a portal into hell.  The demon guarding it looked stunned.  "I need a katana or a short sword," he demanded.

"Who are you to demand!"

Xander took off his shirt and the demon shrieked in pain, bringing others. Xander looked at them, one especially.  "I was given to you in my world against my will."  The demon smirked at him and he sneered.  "And I killed you."  The demon lost his smirk.  "I've been called here to deal with a Rethesnor demon.  I need a katana or a short sword from the duty closet. I'll also need at least two nine mils, autos preferably, and bullets.  Now."  The demons scrambled going to get him what he needed.  He took the guns, checking them and the bullets, handing back the box that didn't fit and the revolver.  "I won't have time for that," he decided.  "No speed loaders and I'm not Jigen."

"Those could jam," one demon snorted.

Xander looked at him, then enchanted the guns.  "Not likely."  He looked at the armful of swords, stepping closer to look at them.  He relaxed and took the handle of one, looking at it.  Then he yelped and dropped it, waving his hand.  "Holy water and blessed.  Cute.  Whose?"

"Knight Krestin," one said timidly.

Xander nodded, looking it over again.  He looked at the others, pulling out a few to try.  "That one'll have to do," he decided.  Someone brought forward another katana and this one was fully blessed.  The holiness was inscribed and ensorcelled on the blade.  He shook his head and picked up the other one with the hem of his jacket.  "I thank you.  Stay out of this."  They all nodded and backed away so he let the portal close, heading into the house.  "Do we have leather gloves?  Or dragon or anything?"

"Leather," Oz offered, finding them and handing them over.  "How's that?"

Xander put them on, testing it against the handle of the sword.  "I'll be able to hold it for at least twenty minutes," he decided, putting it down on the table and putting the gloves on top of it.  "All right, Lord Ares said a picnicking glade.  Do you know where that is?"

"I do," he admitted.  "We've had a few out there."  He walked Xander off, taking him to show him.  "Do you often get to plan battles?"

"Now and then.  Buffy took all the extra slayers with her so Europe doesn't have any.  Sometimes Dawn and I have to fill in."

"Dawn?"

"Um, Buffy's sister?"

"Not one here," Oz noted.  "Long story?"

"Oh, you could say that.  Let's just say that due to a hell god, Buffy got a little sister magically.  Her name is Dawn.  She's a witch and pretty powerful.  In my world she's married to Ray's boss, Zenigata."

"I saw that anime a few times, he's the cop right?" Oz asked.  Xander nodded.  "Pity.  He's older than her?"

"About twice her age but she doesn't care and she keeps jumping him.  Totally her thing, not his.  She tried to follow me but couldn't do what was necessary sometimes in the life.  She's happier now, a mommy a few times over and raising both of Buffy's sons."  He looked around the woods, then looked back at the house, bringing the gloves and the sword to him.  "Okay, at least the demon's here."  He patted the guns he was wearing, then untucked his shirt, shrugging a bit.  "It helps now and then."  He undid the necklace cover his scars and burned-on magical markings, then handed it to Oz.  "Hold that for me please.  I'll need it back later."  He took a deep breath and put on the gloves, then took the sword out from under his arm, heading that way.  "I'd go hide, Oz."

"Um, sure," he agreed, backing away and running off.  He ran into the house and closed the door, locking it.  He realized he didn't have the necklace but he was sure Xander could find it out there.  There was a path and he had stayed on it.

***

Xander woke up and yawned, stretching a bit.  He blinked up at the two men leaning over him, smiling at them.  "Hi."

"Not to be obvious or anything, but where's our Xander?" Jigen asked, sounding patient to his own ears.

Xander sat up, flipping his braided hair back over his shoulder.  "He's presently taking on a demon and an immortal who wanted to kill me," he said honestly.  "We had to switch, otherwise all the Gods I anchor for would be dead."

"Oh."  He looked at Lupin, who just looked really confused.  He hadn't even had coffee yet.  Jigen looked at the younger looking Xander again.  "So, um, you're not a thief, right?"

"Nope."  He beamed at them.  "I'm a dancer and I can fight some, but I'm not the best.  That's why I couldn't handle that assault today.  Which is why Strife...."

"Ah, that explains it," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "Another chaos god."

"Technically, Strife is over mischief and naughtiness," Xander patiently instructed.  "And I'm bound to him, Ares, and Cupid. That's just my nature.  Then again, to my world, you two are anime characters."

"We are here sometimes too," Lupin said dryly, looking at him.  He looked at Jigen.  "How are we handling this?  The kids are unobservant at the moment, but not that much."

"Wow, you have kids?" Xander asked, sounding awed.  "That's really neat.  You didn't in our anime version but I guess that's one of those things that they didn't feel like including."  He bounced up and turned to face them, grinning at them.  "I have pets.  I have cats, and dogs, and ferrets, and one half hellhound puppy who's also part great dane."

Jigen blinked a few times.  "We told Xander he couldn't have cats, but Lotus managed to sneak and keep one or two," he promised. "You can help her take care of them."

Lupin groaned and nodded.  "Before we do anything else, we have to make sure of a few things.  You're not psychotic, right?  Not too terribly a good guy?  Won't try to call the cops on us?"

"Not while I'm here and being the guest," Xander offered with a grin.  "I am a good guy but I mostly keep to myself.  We do have a friend who's a thief, Amanda.  We don't turn her in unless she's just stolen from us or pissed us off, but I'd never do that while I was the guest.  I am a good guy, that's why I'm the anchor and why my Oz loves me."

"You're with Oz?" Jigen asked, frowning a bit.  "I can't really imagine you two together."

"Maybe my Oz is a bit different since he's an immie."

"An innie?" Lupin asked.

"Immie, an immortal," Xander told him.

"Like Highlander, chopping off heads immortal?" Goemon said from the doorway.

Xander squealed and bounced over to hug him.  "You were always my fav character off the anime series."  He beamed and shook his hand. "I'm a Xander."

"I can see that," he agreed, looking him over.  "Obviously not the one I trained.  He moves a bit differently."

"I'm a dancer and the dances trained me to fight," Xander admitted happily.  "I had to cross a realmal mirror and gateway to learn 'em," he offered sheepishly, "but it was mostly an accident.  But you're right, we do chop off heads.  Did this...Highlander have someone named Methos?"  Goemon nodded firmly.  "I know him, we're kinda a quad with him and his Ray and me and my Oz."

"Ray....." Jigen asked.  "Vecchio?"

"Kowalski.  He's the cutest little GHS you've ever seen," he said happily.  "Next to me. I win awards for how much of a GHS I am."

"What's GHS?" Goemon asked.

"It's a special organization we belong to.  The Greedy Hedonistic Sluts society.  Ray, Methos, and I all belong and Methos used to be one of their top guys.  He trained me personally."

"I see," Goemon said, nodding once.  "Breakfast is ready and the children are restless.  Should I tell them that you're eating up here?"

Jigen sighed.  "They'll figure it out.  You know they won't leave Xander unpounced, Goemon."  He got out of bed.  "Give us twenty to dress and stuff."  He looked at Xander's hair.  "Or maybe a half hour.  He can borrow some of our's clothes."

"I think he's a bit skinnier than our Xander," Lupin said tiredly.  He had a headache.  "Goemon, can you get me my headache pills?"

"They're in your bedside drawer, dumbass," Jigen snorted, getting up and heading into the shower.  "Give me five, kid, and I'll show you around a bit."

"Thank you, Mr. Jigen."  He beamed at Goemon again.  "Is there a place where I can stretch out and practice?  I need to practice but I don't want to infect anyone and make them drool."

"We have a gym, it locks," he said simply.  "I'll see you down there."  He headed down the stairs, going to find all the children.  They were mostly eating but his son was outside already.  He went to drag him inside, sitting him down.  "We've had a small problem during the night," he announced.  "The Xander currently here is not ours."

"Where is ours?" Arsene asked.

"I'm hoping his home realm."

"Is this like traveling to see the Ancients?" Lotus asked.

"No, he's a completely different Xander," he assured her. "Spoke of people off Highlander actually."  Ishi raised an eyebrow at that.  "Try not to pounce him.  He's stated he does not have children, he has pets.  Ours is apparently doing something to help him and had little warning."

Ishi nodded.  "Okay.  Sure.  Anything else?"

"Apparently he dances.  It's a dancing form of martial arts.  You may watch him as long as you do not drool on him, and you may learn some of his moves if he wishes to teach you," he told his son.  "Though he is a good deal lighter than you are, son."

"Sure, dad."  He looked over as Lupin wandered in, wearing pajamas.  "Did the not- Xander scare you?" he taunted.

"Hell yes.  This one's bouncy, happy, and a morning person."  He sat down with his coffee cup and held it out, letting Melissa fill it so he could take something for his headache.  "We will not pounce this Xander. He might like it and want to stay."  He took the pills.  "He's bathing right now, it'll probably be about a half-hour with his hair."

"He has long hair?" Lotus asked.

"He has much hair," Goemon assured his little girl.  "It's down to his waist."  She smiled at that.  "Quite impressive. Terrible to maintain probably."  He sat down at his usual spot, taking his own food.  "I'm going to allow Ishi to monitor his dancing, see if he can learn anything off him if he agrees."

"Sure, Goemon.  He can help keep Arsene off him."  He took another sip.  "Man, Pops would love this one."

"We should call Dawn anyway," Lotus told him.  "That way she can note the temporal and realmal disturbances in case something else comes of it."

"Go for it," Lupin said, waving a hand.  "Wait until you've met this Xander though."  He looked at Melissa, then at Ishi.  "Remember that museum job in Brussel's?"  They both nodded.  "He's a lot like that as far as I can tell."

"Oh dear," Goemon said quietly, shaking his head.  "He was rather...swishy then, wasn't he?"

"That's one way of putting it," Lupin agreed patiently.  He heard a whistling noise and looked out as the not-Xander came down the stairs.  "We're in here."

"Cool."  He walked in and grinned.  "Hi.  It shouldn't be too long before you have your me back," he said cheerfully.  He pointed at a chair and one of the kids nodded.  "Thank you for hosting me.  I know it doesn't give you much choice, but I'm sorry about this all the same."  He sat down and looked at the children, smiling happily.  "Wow, he really does have kids.  I've got pets.  I've got some dogs, some cats, a few ferrets, and a half hellhound, half great dane."  They all stared at him so he grinned.  "No, I'm not at all like your Xander.  I'm a bit of a fighter but I'm not as excellent as I needed to be.  Most of my skills come from a dance that I learned across the realms.  It's a great thing and I can fight, just not as much as I needed to, so I appealed to the Gods I anchor for.  Strife and Cupid are *very* helpful to me."

"We've got the same feeling about Janus here," Arsene said weakly, staring at him.  "What else do you do?"  There had to be some common ground with their Xander.  After all, they were all Xander's, right?

"Um, well, I can work on a forge.  I'm very good at forging stuff, especially jewelry.  I do some limited jewelry design work now and then.  I raise my pets.  I take care of and tempt my Oz, along with my Methos and Ray.  Oh, and I write a bit now and then.  I've recently done a best selling sex manual set.  One for gay couples and one for het couples and trios and whatenot."  He waved a hand around and giggled a bit, beaming at them.  "What about you guys?"

"We're all pretty muchly thieves here or thieves in training," Ishi said, staring at him.  "You are...so very different from our Xander."  He wanted to say 'wrong' but he knew his father wold scowl and swat him for it.  This Xander was just wrong though!  He was swishy and so *very* gay.  "Anything else you wanted to share?"

"He belongs to an organization that's based on the pleasures in life," Jigen told them.

"GHS is much more than that.  It's also a system of fellowship and training so we can help each other when the outer world doesn't understand the sort of people we are," Xander told him happily, beaming.  "Methos taught me directly while I was subbing in at a demon brothel to find myself, but I've helped others find a true calling that includes a life's work as well as the pursuit and capturing of multiple pleasures each and every day."  He wiggled a bit.  "I'm on the West Coast committee for our next convention too.  We're holding it in San Francisco and I'm planning some of the entertainment events.  Do you think having a mud wrestling and a pudding wrestling competition is too much?" he asked Lupin.  Who could only shrug.  "Sorry, I thought you might be one of us."

"I might be but I don't really wrestle on more than sheets," he offered.

"Um, not to be rude or anything," Melissa offered, blinking hard to try to control her outburst of tears at this very strange mother-shaped person.  "But I kinda need Mom's help with some research I'm doing.  How long do you think this is going to take?"

"Probably not *too* long," Xander offered, shrugging a bit.  "I was facing an immortal and a demon who had gotten together to warp the game and who were trying to kill me.  As far as I know it shouldn't take more than a few days at the most.  Can I help?"

"Have you ever been to Carrington castle in Malaysia?" she asked.

"I said no," Jigen told her.

"Actually, I have," Xander admitted cheerfully.  "We held a reception there last year for the newest president of the Asian GHS society.  He had just bought it and done some renovations for his new harem and students."  Melissa and Arsene both blinked at that.  "We're a multi-national organization with nearly sixteen hundred members worldwide.  Of course, most of us have to prove that we are real and true GHS members, but I got a direct invitation from Methos when he finished training me on my last night at the brothel."

"You seriously worked in a brothel?" Jigen asked.

Xander nodded.  "I went on a second road trip to finish finding myself since my first one was rather aborted due to the car breaking down in Oxnard.  I only worked there for six weeks but I learned a lot.  I met some sorcerers and some demons and some of the demon royalty and things.  I learned a lot about myself and the world by doing that for six weeks.  Then again, I also made a hell of a lot of money.  I had someone offer me the equivalent of eighteen million in uncut gems to sleep with them for an hour. I learned how to foil being kidnaped and plots to do so.  I learned how to get along with people who are crankier than Buffy ever was.  I learned how many demons there are in New York City because they all tried to snatch me at least once."  Someone pounded on the door and he flinched.  "Is that trouble?"

"I'm hoping it's not someone who'll expect you to be our Xander," Lupin said, getting up to answer it.  He saw it was Dawn and sighed as he opened it, looking at her.  "We were going to call you after breakfast."

"I figured as much," she sighed, walking inside and back toward the dining room.  "Hey," she said, kissing Xander on the cheek.  "I'm Dawn.  In this world I'm Buffy's little sister, only I'm a decent human being.  Would you like to come stay with us while we work on getting you home again?"

"I'm not sure my Gods would like that," he said honestly, shifting to look at her.  "See, they had to switch this Xander with me to help me since I anchor for them and I was going to die in a duel with a demon and an immortal."

"Hold on, immortal, like Highlander?" Ishi asked.

"Well, he did say Methos," Arsene quipped, sipping her coffee.

"Imagine what he could teach you," Melissa said in awe.

Xander winked at her.  "Quite a lot but he says he hates it when people come up and act like groupies because he's so old.  He says wisdom and experience aren't the same and what he's done he can't really teach, you've just kinda gotta do it for yourself sometimes."

"Yeah but he could teach so much about the ancient cultures and civilizations," Lotus told him.

"He does now and then when he goes to school and becomes a GA," Xander admitted with a small grin.  "Other than that, he won't even help me when I'm a having a grammar qualm."

"That beer cap thing he does to Duncan," Ishi started.

Xander shuddered.  "Psycho mimbo?  Oh, let's not get us started on how Duncie poo wanted to kill my Oz and me because I was with Oz, and to then reform Methos in his own image of insanity. Please, I'll have nightmares and then need to cuddle."  He grinned at the adults.  "They might not like that," he told Ishi with a bright grin.

Arsene got up and went to get them both some coffee, handing over the cup for him.  "Creamer and sugar are in the middle of the table.  That way you don't have to babble."  She looked at Dawn.  "And you thought Iggy's Xander was different?"

Dawn snorted.  "Oh, there's many different Xander's in the worlds of the universes," she said dryly.  She looked at him.  "So you're with Oz?"  He nodded, beaming at her as he fixed his coffee.  "Did I come into being in your world?"  He looked up and shook his head, looking a bit confused around his eyes, even though the grin never left his face.  "It's a long magical story so don't worry about it if I didn't."  She patted him on the shoulder.  "You can come stay with me.  That way we can work on getting you home."

"But if you mess with it, then it could weaken Strife or Cupid, or even Ares, and then your Xander could get hurt in the battles."

"Oooooooookkkkkkkkaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy," Dawn said slowly, shaking her head afterward.  "They still exist in your world?"  He nodded.  "Are you, like, their anchor?"

"I am.  Being the GHS I am, I anchor for Cupid and Strife, with a bit of Ares thrown in now that I can kinda fight.  I'm just not the best at it yet."

"And they sent you here because they needed a better warrior Xander?" she checked.  He nodded, beaming again.  She considered it but she now had a headache.  "Okay.  Lupin, I'm going to order you to not endanger this one's life.  Our two lines are pretty far apart, there shouldn't be hardly any crossover at all between them."

"They're an anime in our world I think," Xander told her.

"They do that here too now and then," she admitted.  Ishi got up and helped her into his seat.  "Thank you, Ishi, you're quite the gentleman now and then."  She patted him on the cheek.  "Maybe you should stay here.  It could be easier for your Gods to retrieve you and they can check with Janus for you now and then.  Either that or we should send you to Ethan.  Oz, the one here, is at my house and he'd probably have nightmares about sleeping with the Xander here if you showed up and told him all this," she said weakly.

Arsene reached over and nerve pinched her, then shook her head as she took another sip of her coffee.  "Excuse her, we overloaded her circuits again."

"I'll bring her home later," Lupin assured her.  "Good work, empress."

"Thanks, daddy."  She looked at their visiting Xander and smiled.  "So, can we show you around the grounds?"

"Sure!" he agreed happily.  "I'm presently living in the great big manor house above Sunnydale."

"Here it's a big hole," Melissa told him.  "The hellmouth ate it."

"Ooooh.  Did I do that?"

"Only kinda," Lotus said, smirking a bit.  She decided she was going to have fun watching this Xander fluster everyone and make them go a bit insane until he left.  It'd be her summer project, learning how to capitalize on it.  Her father caught her eye and shook his head subtly.  She sighed and put down her juice.  "You said you needed to practice your dance.  Ishi and I are samurai in training.  May we watch?"

"Sure," he agreed happily.  "I don't get to perform much anymore for anyone but my Oz, and occasionally my Methos and Ray."   He considered it.  "The occasional convention.  A kidnaper or two.  Strife and Cupid every now and then because he likes to use it to jump Jace and Cupid."

"Jace, from Hercules?" Ishi asked, blinking hard now.  He cleared his throat.  "Lotus, why don't you show him around this morning and we'll watch him this afternoon.  That way he can find a good spot in case the gym's too stuffy.  The a/c in there is off again."

"Sure," she agreed with a happy smile.  She looked at Xander again.  "So, what's going to happen when you get home?"

"I'll be tied down to the bed by my thinnest platinum ankle chain and pampered horribly by my Oz while he listens to what I saw and learned here.  He's like that," he shared with a goofy grin.

"Ah, there's a similarity," Arsene said happily.  "You both like some light bondage."

"And yet again, your mouth has gotten you into trouble," Goemon told her simply.

She spit at him.  "I knew there had to be some similarities.  They're both Xanders."

"True," Xander agreed.  He patted himself down then took off the locket he was wearing.  "Know any of these people?"

She looked at it, then gaped.  "Uncle Ray," she said in awe.  Then she burst out giggling.  "Oh, Gods, just wait until I tell him!" she howled, getting up to go get sick.  She didn't want to know that much about him and his sex life.  He was nice, but she didn't like him that way.

"So I take it Ray's here too," he said fondly, stroking the locket.  "That's pretty cool.  Is he around so I can meet him?"

"Sure," Lupin and Jigen agreed.  "When we bring Dawn home."  Because he would freak out better than Dawn had and they wanted to see that.

"Hurry up and eat and I'll give you the tour so you can share juicy stories from home," Lotus said merrily.  Xander beamed and dug in, a bit picky but nothing too horrible.

***

Lupin got out and went to knock on the door, finding Vecchio and Ray both standing there, scowling.  "We kinda had to knock her out so she'd quit babbling.  Then again, the reason made Arsene run and get sick.  Come on."  He walked them back to the car, nodding at Zenigata, who was just staring at the weird Xander.  "That's not Lavelle."

"I can see that," Zenigata said dryly, staring that one down.  "So, Xander, what do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a member of GHS with my Methos and Ray snugglies, I'm a lover, I occasionally fight the demons and things, but I'm also a royal of a line by adoption so that can get kinda messy.  I just finished writing a best selling sex manual series."  Ray Vecchio choked at that.  So he beamed at him.  "I remember meeting the you in my world," he cooed, bouncing over to hug him.  "You were such a great guy.  You were so understanding of our Ray when he had to go."  He pulled back to grin at him.  "I was so sorry when I heard you had died by an immie's hand."  He kissed him on the cheek, then squealed and pounced the other Ray to hug him. "They said you existed here!" he squealed, dancing around with him.  He pulled back to look him over.  "Well, someone's been feeding you.  My Ray's a bit less packed, more wiry muscles than comfy muscles like you've got.  Can you dance?  My Ray's learning my dances from me."  He hugged him again.  "Ooooh, I wish there was a Methos here.   You'd like him I'm sure."

"Hold on, Methos?" he asked, looking really confused at Lupin over Xander's shoulder.

"Open his locket," Jigen suggested, lighting his next cigarette.  "Yo, Pops, you wanna get your little woman outta the car?"

Lupin opened the door and put the seat forward then got out of the way.  "There ya go."  He looked at Vecchio.  "He's apparently the pampered pet of his Oz."

Xander winked back at him.  "Only when I've been really good."  He beamed at Ray again.  "I should show you how to dance."

"Um," he said.  "Immie, like Highlander?"  Xander looked confused but Lupin and Jigen both nodded.  "Wow, am I?"

"No, you're a mate.  We're bound to our mates.   Well, you're kinda bound to me and Oz and your Methos too," he admitted sheepishly.  "We didn't realize that the spell would reach out and touch us in the living room.  I was bound to Connor too but he died."

Ray patted him on the back, shaking his head.  "Well, you're definitely not our Xander," Vecchio admitted, going to help with Dawn.  "What happened to her?"

"We overloaded her freak circuits and Ar knocked her out," Lupin said fondly.  "Then again, she did find a spot of similarity in the fact that they both like some bondage."  The Xander let out a satisfied sounding growl.  "You should show us all how you dance, Xander," he offered.  "It'll be pretty interesting.  I know Lotus came in and said it was really cool and Ishi had to hide for a few hours."

"Well, it is kinda arousing," he admitted sheepishly, grinning a bit.  "But I did learn to fight from it.  Which is really important with how often I get snatched."  He looked around.  "Where's the demon around here?"

"It's probably the vampire Ripper," Jigen offered, pointing at the man coming out of the house.  "Hey, howyadoin'," he offered.

Giles snorted.  "About the same as always, dead and loving."  He looked at Xander, then raised an eyebrow.  "Dear."

"Ewww.  My Giles turned on me.  Shoo!"  He gave a very limp-wristed physical shoo and Giles went flying.  "OOOOOH!  Magic's stronger here!" he said happily.  He bounced over, running on the balls of his feet, and pulled Giles up.  "Our Giles fucked around on me and I'm working on hurting him greatly.  Are you like him?"

"No," he said, shaking his head.  "I'm with Ethan."

"We always knew you were," Xander agreed dryly. He sniffed him.  "Spike!  I haven't seen him in *ages*!  How is he?"

"Annoying, the same really," Giles said, blinking hard.  "You're marked."

"I was adopted by the Metharn lineage.  I'm a secondary son."

"All right then," Giles agreed, turning and walking off, heading home.  He couldn't deal with this very swishy and gay Xander.  The usual gay Xander was a bit much for him.  "They switched him for the nancy poof of the universe," he called as he shut the portal.

Xander giggled and bounced/ran back to Ray, hugging him again.  "Come on, I should show you how to dance.  It'll make me happy and you can do good things with it.  It's your favorite way of working out at home that doesn't mean sex automatically."  He walked him off.  "We'd best not do it out here or else we'll get in trouble and someone will try to kidnap me again."

"We're cops," Ray assured him, following behind the couple shaking his head a bit.

"I suppose you're staying to take him home?" Zenigata said bitterly.

"We probably should," Lupin agreed dryly, smirking at him.  "Dawn said his Gods might have a problem retrieving him if we didn't."

"His Gods?"

"He apparently anchors for a few of them," Lupin told him.  "Strife and Cupid mostly."  He walked Zenigata inside, following the Xander.  From what he'd seen, this Xander couldn't really take care of himself all that well and only God would know what would happen if he died here.  They might never get their Xander back.  He was sure the rule was one Xander to a universe, otherwise things would go horribly wrong.  He found a seat on a park bench beside Vecchio and looked at him.  "Ishi and Lotus saw this earlier.  They said it was pretty neat."

"I'm sure it is," he said dryly, glancing at him.  "So, made a move on him yet?"

"No, not with the way he talks about 'his' Oz and 'his' Ray."

"This is gonna fuck with Stan's head for weeks," Vecchio complained.

"That's okay, Arsene got the image of him having sex with Methos stuck in her head and didn't quite make it through breakfast.  She had to get sick."  They watched as Xander led Ray aside and talked to him, doing a few things.  Ray shook his head and sat down so Xander just shrugged and moved into the center of the grassy spot, stretching a bit.  Lupin looked at him when he looked around.  "Need music?"

"No, I've got the traditional music running through my head.  I'm checking for clearance and sharp, pointy things that could hurt me."  He closed his eyes and relaxed, then started to move.

Jigen's cigarette fell out of his mouth.

Zenigata's mouth fell open but his cigarette held on for a moment, and unfortunately landed on his pants, which knocked him out of the trance while he slapped the fire out.

Lupin started to drool.

Vecchio just stared, wondering how the human body moved like *that*.  Normal humans couldn't do that he was sure.

Stanley blinked a few times, then shook his head. "I could never do that," he moaned, but he settled in to watch it because it was good.  It was better than porn and he could grasp the story easily.  At the end, he was the only one who could clap.  Lupin and Jigen were clutching their thighs so they weren't playing with themselves.  Vecchio was just staring in open mouthed shock and awe.  Zenigata had handcuffed himself to the bench he was sitting on so he couldn't do more than drool.  Stan looked at Xander, beaming happily.  "You're one hell of a dancer, Xander.  I'm damn impressed."

Xander beamed but wiped off his forehead, glancing around.  "And no one came to kidnap me, it's a noteworthy event," he said happily, going to sit beside his friend and chat with him.  "My you can do some of that but you're still learning."

"I don't think I ever could," Stan admitted.  He gave him a gentle hug.  "Don't worry, you'll get home to your me in the next week or so.  I'm sure of it."  Xander beamed at him and kissed him, then went to get a drink from the fountain nearby.

"Don't drink that, there's fish in there," Zenigata said, struggling to get free of the cuffs.  "Son, get him a glass of water or juice," he called finally.  "Where's my key?" he muttered, patting himself down one-handed.

Lupin got up and wandered over, undoing him, then heading into the bathroom for a moment of privacy.  "I want to tape all those," he moaned as he worked himself off.  "Either that or keep him as a cherished pet.  I'm sure our Xander wouldn't mind.  Much."

Jigen pounded on the door.  "Let me in!" he demanded.  Lupin reached back with his free hand, undoing the lock.  Jigen walked in and shut the door, locking it again.  "Fuck my issues," he said, kissing Lupin stupid.  "A mutual handjob?"

"Please," Lupin moaned, moving his hands so he could get Jigen exposed for him.  He might even be nice enough to blow him without thought of getting one back.

Vecchio knocked on the door. "If you make a mess, clean it up or we're using it as DNA samples," he called, heading up to the guest room he usually used.  The door up there locked and none of the kids would have to see him this hard and needy.  If Stan could still talk intelligently after that, he was the better man.

***

Xander, Lavelle Xander, looked at the demon across from him. "You should know who you're facing, spawn."

"You're a nothing," he sneered.  "A secondary son of the Metharn lines?  Totally an asskisser and only suitable for a political marriage as a concubine."

Xander snorted and shook his head.  "Not likely.  Actually, the me from here is a favored son by the markings and he's already married."  He undid the buttons on his shirt, making the demon's minions shriek and hold their eyes.  "I, on the other hand, got asked to come teach you some manners.  The name is *Consort*."  The demons all shivered.  "As in unwillingly given to a section prince."  They backed off and he glared at the demon again.  "You try this family of my alter-ego over your dead body."

"Who are you?" the demon hissed.  "I challenged the one of you from here."

"Yay.  Ares said it's not gonna happen.  If you must know, in my world, I'm known as Lavelle.  Assassin and master thief."  He did a courtly bow, sneering the whole time.  "I'm also the Holder of the Name and a prince in my own right since I've taken out six others."  The minions turned tail and ran.  "It won't save them.  Remember, by making them yours, you linked them to your energy."  He waved him forward.  "You were going to attack now?  Or should I just destroy you?" he sneered.

"Try that with me, human," a new voice said in a deeper baritone, walking out of the woods.  "You're not the immortal."

"No, I'm the one Ares said you get though.  You go through me to get to this Xander.  See, he's a bit...nice."  He looked him over and snorted.  "Seriously, have you even fought in the past?"

"I'm over two millennia old," the immortal sneered.  "I have taken many heads."

"Yay."  Xander lunged and the immortal brought up his axe, but Xander was faster and better trained.  Plus he had the strength of Ares and Strife behind him.  He saw a light flash off to the side and a female appear, bowing cordially at her before going back after this idiot.  He got him down and injured, leaning on the sword.  "Still think you've got what it takes to beat me, puny imbecile?  Oooh, did you take viagra and have it stiffen the wrong muscle?"  He swung and took his head, watching as the energy flowed out and headed for the house.  Then he glared at the demon and lunged, splitting it in the chest.  It fell with a shriek and a moan, trying to hold the blood inside.  It wasn't going to succeed.

The woman who had teleported in clapped a few times, looking him over.  "Nice job.  Efficient.  Not too much witty repartee up front," she said, her voice a light sneer.  "You're not the anchor though.  Who are you?" she asked, moving closer. "You look like him."

"Go ask Ares," he said dryly.  "It's not like I answer to you."

She looked him over and snorted.  "I would never have one such as you in *my* service, mortal."  She raised a hand, manifesting a ball of fire.  "Now, answer the question."

"Or what, you'll fry me?" Xander asked snidely, facing off with her.  "Lady, I don't care which Goddess you are, you're playing a very dangerous game.  I'm not the nicest of people on my best days."  He took off his shirt and she gasped, backing away from him.  "Now then, which bitch of the universe are you and why are you bothering me?  Unless these two pitiful attempts were *your* doing?"  He stepped closer.  "Were you trying to screw up the others to make them look bad?  Even though it would obviously mean *your* death?"

"How dare you accuse me of that!" she yelled, sending the fireball at him.  It dissipated against his shield and she let out a shriek of outrage.  "How dare you thwart me!"

He yawned.  "Go blow yourself, wench.  You're a nothing and a nobody in my book.  And you're boring me."  He turned around and walked off, taking the sword with him.  He found his necklace on the path and put it back on while he walked, whistling.  He saw Strife on the steps and shrugged.  "So, who needed the stick shoved up the *other* hole instead?"

"She's a virgin Goddess," he said dryly.  "Not even toys."

Xander looked disgusted at that.  "How can she know or control anything like the human emotions and spirit if she doesn't partake of it?  That makes her weak and unstable in my book."  He handed off the sword.  "So, is she going to try it again?"

He nodded. "Yeah, probably.  We're working on finding out how.  It'll probably be a week."

"I wasn't doing much, my empire has someone who can run it in my absence."  He smirked.  "Besides, it's nice to have my penis again for a little while."  Strife beamed at that.  "We should talk," he suggested, walking closer, putting an arm around the Gods' shoulders.  "What do I get out of this little trip anyway?  Besides a really *good* me not dying."

"We were gonna give you a go at some loose jewels no one would miss," he offered, walking off with him.  He wasn't scared of the guy but he could see how he got his scary reputation.  "You remind me of Jacie's brother Jett."

"I remember seeing him on the show," Xander admitted.  "Thank you.  I consider that a compliment in many ways."  Strife chuckled at that.  "So, what're we talking?"

"Are you sure you're not the love kid of Autolycus and Jett?"

"Be kinda hard to do since they're only a show in my world."

"Hmm, point," he admitted dryly.  He stopped, turning to look at the young man.  "Did ya need somethin' else?"

Xander leaned over and whispered in his ear.  "That.  Ours was destroyed.  I did it myself."

Strife considered it.  "I'll ask Hades if he can get it for ya," he admitted, then he winked and disappeared.

Ares appeared, nodding at him.  "Nice work.  I agree, you remind me a lot of Jett."  Xander beamed and bowed.  "It was still stupid to take on Athena that way though."

"Yay.  Cunt needs it shoved up the other hole," Xander said dryly.  "I'm not hers.  I've never been hers.  I'll never be hers.  Maybe yours now and then, but I'm not involved in the major battles anymore.  The only God I acknowledge is Janus."

"What happens if we're real in your world too?"

Xander snorted.  "Yay me.  If so, the Hermes there can come down anytime and give me some jobs to do for him."  He flicked a hand up to smooth back some moving hair.  "I've been bored with the kids in school.  My empire's flourishing.  Lupin doesn't appreciate more than my tits since I'm female there again thanks to playing dress-up for him and getting stuck.  Besides, I've only ever met Janus and Loki when they were fighting over me.  Loki was pretty nice.  He only wanted me to be whatever I wanted to be.  Janus...well he likes to have some plans now and then.  And I'm still bored."

Ares snickered, nodding.  "You'll do, mortal.  You'll definitely do.  If I exist there, I'll send myself down to watch over you now and then.  You've got balls of steel."

"No, they're flesh and cartilage, but I haven't had them around for a few months so I'm giving them some exercise."

Ares roared out in laughter, nodding.  "Good one.  I'll remember that.  Go rest.  If there's another sortie in this battle, it'll be later tonight or tomorrow.  Go read the you here's works.  He's a very ...interesting writer."  He disappeared.

"Sure," Xander agreed.  "He's have to be with the tapestries in that one room.  I wonder if I can find that one of the orgy at home."  He headed back into the house.  "Honey, I'm back.  They're gone now.  There could be another one later."

Oz looked at him, his eyes wide and wild.  "Thanks for the power boost."

"You and Strife both probably."  He leaned down to look at him.  "I'm not breaking your vows to him. He'd kill you.  Go play with the others, Oz.  I can sit and read by myself and not get into trouble."  He nodded, going to do that.   Methos yelped and Ray moaned a few minutes later so apparently it was good for them all.  He went into the library, whistling.  "Hey, Watcher central," he said dryly.  "I could use a copy of these too.  I wonder if I can summon an imp to do that."

***

Lavelle came back from his 'shopping' and pulled up in front of the house, finding a man floating there getting a tan.  He got out, looking at the figure. "Uh-huh."  The floating guy straightened up and he gave him a small smirk.  "So, do you exist in my world too, Lord Hermes?"

"As far as we can tell, he's still sleeping," he admitted, grinning back at him.  "So, you're Lavelle."  He floated closer, looking him over.  "You are much tougher than our anchor."

"Yeah, but if I stay, I'd have to bring the kids."  Hermes shivered at that, looking blissed out.  "Hey, open a portal.  After all, they stole from Harry Potter's realm, they can do it here too."  Hermes chuckled at that and gave him a gentle hug.  "Thanks.  So, what's going on?"

"Just a messenger," he admitted, handing over the scroll.  "Apparently putting you back is going to be a bit harder than bringing you here."  He moved closer.  "Could I ask you to go do some of my deeds for a bit and pray to me while you're here?"

Xander looked at him, then leaned over and kissed him, making him moan.  "Sure, babe.  Where and when?" he cooed.  Hermes blushed and handed over another scroll.  "Done.  What about what I asked for?"

"We're still arguing with Hades," he admitted.  "Sorry."

"No, that's okay."  He winked and headed inside.  "Come on, Hermes.  We'll go look at your list."  He opened the door.  "I'm back!"  The half hellhound ran out to cuddle him.  "Oooh, there's a good boy," he cooed, bending to pet him.  "You're such a good and mighty hunter, yes you are."  The puppy lapped him then responded to the whistle.  "Good boy!"  He walked into the nearest sitting room, then went back to Xander's writing room; he liked the tapestries and they seemed to give him good ideas for expanding his empire at home and doing new jobs.  He flopped down and put his feet up.  "Okay," he said, grinning at Hermes.  "Let's look at your list."  He unrolled it and drooled.  "Well, I've done one of these at home," he admitted, reading down the list.  "I wouldn't mind the sword.  Are you absolutely certain that there's no more Goemons here?"

"The line died out two generations ago," Hermes told him.  "They disinherited the last son for mating with an outsider."

"Hmm.  Yeah, the ancestors weren't always that tolerant of outsiders," he admitted.  He went back to reading, then pulled something out of his shirt and tossed it to him.  "There's one of them."  He got to the end of the list and smirked at him.  "Sure.  Am I working alone?"

"You'd work with Auto?" he asked hopefully.  He moved closer.  "He'd love to work with you, but his ego would make him lead."

Xander snorted.  "Babe, remember, I have to deal with Lupin.  Egos are nothing to me."  Hermes giggled at that and they both had to look away as a pink flash went off.  Xander looked at the woman.  Hair.  Breasts barely contained.  Nice body.  "Aphrodite?" he guessed.

She smirked and nodded.  "Most of them also say 'teeth' mentally."

"You weren't smiling, you were being predatory and smirking," he offered, smirking back.  He looked at Hermes.  "I'll do it for you but I've got to stay in my actual form.  That way we don't get this Xander in trouble."

"Sure," he agreed.  "I'll get you plans."  He hopped up.  "Read the other one."  He winked.  "I love you, man."  He zipped off out the open back door.

Aphrodite looked at him, hands moving up to her hips.  "You know, you give me one hell of a headache each time you think about your men."

"Sorry.  They only like the tits when I put on the choker."

"You *know* that's not true," she said firmly, tapping a foot now.

He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her into his lap to look at her, weathering her squeal.  "I might know it's true, but realistically, at the moment, they are being like that.  It's not making me a happy Xander.  They've done this before and I walked off.  They didn't like that either.  Therefore I have to put up with it, leave and piss off the kids, or teach them a lesson.  So I'm probably going to be finding me a new man once I get back and get my real form back."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Did you fuck with our younger lives?  I've always wondered why I dated Anya."

She hugged him, giggling a bit.  "She was to teach you tolerance and no, sweetie, I didn't do her to you.  Strife did."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "I wish I could cure that for you."

"I wish you could too, but I'll stop thinking about them except in a gloating way," he promised, patting her on the butt.  She squeaked and slapped him so he grinned.  "Sorry, couldn't resist.  How often do I get women who could hold up to me in bed in my lap?  And ones who have a clue and are as good as I am in their own right."

"I think there was a compliment there," she teased, pinching him on the nose.  "I should get up.  Hephie will get jealous."

"Not really.  I'm not going to follow through.  I'm winding you up so he gets one massive blow and then jumped and pounced on for the next week."

She beamed.  "Thanks, kiddo.  We'll do what we can to get you home."

"Get me to that crossover bar place, Aphrodite.  I can get home from there.  I have in the past."  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Oh, got an idea for you and Strife."  He leaned closer and whispered in her ear, making her shiver and squeal.  He patted her on the butt again.  "There ya go. You and Strife go share that."  She beamed and disappeared.  He heard a serious case of the giggles and looked up.  "You're welcome."

Strife appeared and hugged him.  "I wish we could keep you for a bit longer.  I need more inspiration."

Xander touched his choker. "Find this here.  Put it on the most manly man you can find.  Let him get pregnant when he's finally figured it out and calms down."  Strife's mouth opened and he vibrated.  Xander winked and pulled him down into his lap, stroking his thigh.  "Then again, put it on a supposedly 'real' warrior of the old school.  The sort that think that women are weak and morally lacking.  Watch him beg and plead for his penis back."  Strife vibrated more.  "Oh, here's an idea.  Start a new trend.  If the Harry Potter books aren't here, bring them.  Or start a new line dance, like the macarena."

Strife came and moaned, going limp in his arms.  "Wow. It hasn't been that good in a while," he groaned.  Cupid appeared, giving him a tolerant look.  "He was giving me *ideas*."

"That's always a dangerous thing," he told Xander.  "Thank you for getting my baby off."

"Sure, not a problem, and I didn't have to do more than stroke his thigh."  He handed over Strife, then beamed.  "Need some ideas too?"

"No, I'm good on ideas. I've got the easy job, all I have to do is inspire lust."  He smirked at him.  "I was thinking bringing back daisy dukes again for the club scene."

Xander shuddered.  "Eww.  No, too many wrong people wearing them.  Really."  Cupid nodded at that.  "But, I saw this really nice, see-through stuff on your mom's back.  Use that to make the newest hottest fashions."

"I like that idea.  Functional nudity but not really unclothed."  He faded out with his Strife clinging to his side.  By the time they got home, Strife's clothes were missing and Cupid was more than ready to make him beg for mercy.

Xander leaned back, putting his feet back up.  It was a good day all around.  He read the scroll from Ares, smirking a bit.  It'd still give him plenty of time to do Hermes' jobs for him.  "Godly babe, I need those plans," he whispered.  They appeared on the couch.  "Thanks, babe.  I look forward to making you that cuddly too soon."  He grabbed the first one, mapping out his strategy.  He could still teleport here up to three times a day....  He would have to make sure that the Xander here never got associated with him.

***

Xander, GHS Xander, looked around as he wandered around the house.  He hadn't found the library yet.  He did see Fred, who was adorable.  "Fred, love, where's the library?  I need something to read."

Fred looked up at her and beamed. "This way."  He led her to the library and pointed at a book.  "Sissy Lotus reading that to me.  You read?"

"Sure," he agreed, pulling down the first book.  "This one?"  He nodded and curled up against his side.  "Sorry I'm not so cuddly as your daddy Xander."

"Mommy's nice but you're okay," he assured him.  He snuggled in.  "No pictures, but it's a good story."

"Good."  Xander opened up the first page.  "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone."

****

Xander padded back up to the main bedroom later that night, holding up the books with a rapt look on his face.  "Can I get a copy of these for myself?" he pleaded.  "Please?"

Lupin smirked at him.  "They are good books.  Sure.  Can we get a copy of the dances?"

"Wellllllllll," he offered, considering it.  "As long as it's only shown here.  Not for public profit, not for bachelor parties, nothing like that," he offered.  "I can pray that my Strife and Cupid have them copied and sent.  We've got them all on DVD."  Lupin smirked at that.  "You're sure you won't show them to anyone?"

"No, strictly for personal use," Lupin said seriously.  Xander grinned at him.  "Do you want to come sleep with us?"

"No, I shouldn't.  My Oz would get really upset and then my Methos would have to yell and punish me."  He shrugged.  "I'll go crash in one of the spare rooms."

"You can have our Xander's old room," Jigen offered from behind him, making the Xander spin to look at him.  "Come on.  I'll show you."  He walked him down the hall and opened the door, letting him into there.  "Just don't rearrange anything.  Otherwise he'll be fussing for days."

"Sure," he agreed with a grin.  "Thank you, Jigen."  He kissed him on the cheek and headed in there, going to read some more.

Jigen listened, noticing that Xander locked the door.  "That won't help," he muttered, heading back to their room.  He found the handcuffs they had stolen off Vecchio a few months earlier, hitching Lupin to the bed.  "That way he can sleep alone and you won't make him cheat."  He laid down next to him, one arm over his stomach.  "How much longer you think?"

"Hopefully not more than a week.  How long could this battle last?"  Lupin looked up at the handcuffs, then at his partner.  "Those won't stop me."

Jigen looked up at him.  "At least they'll slow you down.  Remember, he's happily married."  Lupin sighed and nodded, getting the handcuffs off and settling in to cuddle Jigen for the night.  It would have to do for the night.   His Xander would be pissed with him if he cheated on him with himself.  He heard that thought and moaned, shaking his head to clear it.  That was bordering on things that he didn't want to think about or else he'd get another headache.

Jigen looked up at him.  "Don't think about it," he offered.

"You know me so well."  He shook his head again.  Jigen kissed him and his mind went in a whole 'nother direction.  "Thanks, I needed that."

"Just think about Kowalski's mental issues right now.  Not only is he gay, he's bound as a pampered pet to a smartass immortal with an ego problem and he's sleeping with another couple as their pampered pet now and then."  Lupin shivered.  "Think about how much his head's got to be hurting."

"I heard earlier, he was drinking to forget it.  The Don in Paris said he'd make sure he got home tonight.  He heard what was going on and decided that Stan needed some mental help."

"Sure, but it's not his fault," Jigen pointed out.

"True."  He snuggled in, stroking the hard stomach. "Why are you still dressed?"

"So you can't invade my ass."

"I wouldn't without permission," he promised.

Jigen snorted.  "And I believe that too, Lupin.  I trust you not to do it in the middle of the night the same way I trust your daughter around a lot of chocolates."  Lupin cackled at that.  "So I'll be sleeping in clothes."  He stroked through Lupin's hair, making him a happy thief.  "Sleep, there's another day to get through tomorrow."

***

Xander looked over as Ares and Strife came back, standing up and grabbing his new backpack. "Any luck?"

"No, not totally," Strife admitted.  He held up a piece of ceramic.  "But I can get you the piece you're missing."  Xander grinned and put it into his pocket, then kissed him, dipping him backward.  "Whoa," he said when he came back up for air.  "Thanks.  Cupid'll punish my ass for weeks for that."

"You'll enjoy it," Lavelle said with a smirk.  He looked at Ares.  "Want one too?"

Ares smirked.  "No thanks.  I prefer my lovers to be under me."  He handed him something.  "Here.  To the crossroads place.  It may call a few other Xander's up there but you should be able to get home from there.  They've seen a few of you before."

Hermes appeared, looking pitiful.  "Are you *sure* you can't stay?" he pleaded miserably.  "Auto said he'd let you do him again.  Jett said he'd enjoy having you around too.  He enjoyed getting free to talk to you."

Xander walked over and hugged him.  "Tell the you in my world to come visit and I'll give him the same fun."  He winked then kissed him.  "Be a good boy, now and then," he qualified with a small smirk.  Hermes blushed and chuckled.  Xander winked and took the paper from Ares' hand.  "Hey, a portkey," he said as he zipped off.

"How does he know about that?" Strife asked.

"They're books there," Ares offered, looking at Hermes.  "Do you need a cuddle?" he mock-cooed.

"Yes!" he sneered, manifesting Jace.  "And I'm taking her."  He disappeared with her.

"Hey!  That's mine!" Ares yelled.

"Ours," Strife corrected once Ares had disappeared.  Cupid appeared, frowning, arms crossed over his chest.  "He kissed me," he defended.

"Yeah, I felt it.  I felt you get hard too."  He grabbed Strife by the front of his shirt and disappeared with him.  They appeared with Strife in a gag, blindfold, short latex shorts, and his hands and ankles cuffed together behind his back.  "There, that's better," he said smugly, settling in to tease his lover forever because of that kiss.

***

Xander walked into the saloon, smirking at the bartender.  "I got sent to help with a swishy Xander's problems."

"I heard," he offered, waving a drink for him.  "Here, it'll be a few minutes.  Oh, he was right, it did pull a few other Xander's.  They're waiting on you over there.  Their Rays are in the corner.  He's coming to get you and doesn't know it yet.  They're apparently very flexible across the realms."

"Thanks, man.  Is magical me here?"  He nodded.  "Good deal."  He took his beer that way, nodding at the Xander he knew.  "Yeah, it's me again.  The phoenix is doing okay.  He likes to go exploring and talk to the Japanese dragon."  He looked at the other Xanders at the table.  "Huh."  He looked at the one in the glasses and lab coat.  "I went into science?" he asked as he sat down.

"Ballistics.  I'm a CSI."  He looked at him.  "Silver hair?"

"Demonic radiation.  I was gifted to hell for a bit."  He took a drink and looked at the other one.  "You're furry."

"I'm a mouse," he admitted.  "Vinnie is gonna laugh his tail off about this," he said miserably.

"It's just a dream," the others told him in unison.  The mouse Xander nodded, putting his head down.

Lavelle looked at the ballistics Xander.  "So, most of us I guess are still good guys.  I'm assuming the same about you."

Xander nodded.  "A very good guy.  You're, um, not?"  Lavelle shook his head and so did the other Xander. "Why not?" he asked weakly.

"After I got free, Jigen found me and took me in."  He took another drink of his beer, looking at the magical Xander.  "So, how's tricks in your world?  Your husband still okay with you and everything?"

"Just fine," he agreed happily.  "George is wonderful and things are going spiffing at the shop," he bragged.  He handed over a straw to the ballistics Xander.  "Here, try that.  It's like a pixy stick."

"Cool."  He opened it and sucked on the crystals inside.  Then he looked up at his hair as it stood up and twisted into interesting shapes.  He giggled.  "That's so cool!"  He beamed at him.  "You work in a joke shop?"

"My husband is a Weasley," he offered dryly. "I married George."

"But they're books," Xander said, looking confused.

That Xander smirked.  "I heard."  Lavelle chuckled.  "How are your kids?"

"Better.  We still haven't figured out everything that they stole from you guys."

"You steal?" ballistics Xander demanded.

Xander looked at him.  "That too.  I'm an assassin and thief.  I work with Lupin the Third.  And occasionally our kids," he admitted dryly, finishing that beer.  "Yo, can I have another?" he called.

"Sure, Lavelle. Your Ray is nearly here."

"Thanks."  He looked over as the new beer appeared.  "Thanks, man."  He looked at that Xander.  "It could be a lot worse.  I'm also a prince of hell among other things, and the name holder."

"Wow."   The two good Xanders looked at each other, then groaned and shook their heads. "I'll have to read that book when I get home.  If David will let me buy them."  He sipped his beer.  "So, what do you do?" he asked the older looking limping Xander.

"I teach demonology and self-defense at Hogwarts."

Xander blinked and nodded once.  "Okay then.  This is too strange for me."  He grinned.  "I think I'll consider this a really odd dream."

"Not a problem," Lavelle offered, patting him on the back, then he knocked him out.  "I was just in the world of a swishy, dancing Xander."

"I met him!" he said excitedly.  "He's a really nice guy, just a bit high strung."  Lavelle nodded.  "What were you doing there?"

"He had a battle he couldn't win so they pulled me to kill the demon and the immortal."

"Ah.  So, I know his Gods are active."

"And Hermes is very cute," he said smugly.  The other Xander chuckled.  "So's Strife.  I got him into all sorts of trouble with Cupid by kissing him.  He'll be on his knees and begging for months."  He looked over at the two Rays already arguing.  "Just wait until mine gets here," he called.  He took another drink of his beer.  "So, why the meeting?"

"Not a clue," the other Xander admitted.  "I was napping and woke up here."

"Cool.  I'm trying to think up a good punishment for my lovers if they cheated on me."  He finished that beer and got up when he heard the doors bang open, one hand moving to his gun.  "Oh, hey Ray.  How's Stan?  I met the him there and he was pretty nice, but a very good slutty little pet."

"You are such an asshole!" he shouted.  "How dare you do this to me!"

"I didn't!  Whine, bastard! I got pulled!"  Ray glared at him. "I can shoot your ass again if you want.  Then I'll tell Ray he's got to bandage it for you!"

Vecchio snorted.  "Fine.  It wasn't your fault *this* time."  He looked at the other two Rays.  "Doesn't this breach some rules of the world or something?"

"Not in this place," Lavelle told him.  "This is a nexus point, where a lot of worlds touch."  He waved his glass.  "Want one?"

"Please, God."  He went up to the bar, getting his glass of wine, and got the money waved off.  "I don't let him buy me drinks."

"They're free here, it helps," the bartender said with a small wink.  "We've seen a lot of that other Xander that danced for you."

"I've got copies of his DVD's," Xander admitted, walking over to his Ray.  "If you want, you can compare the horror stories with yourself.  I'm good for now. I can take a nap."

"Sure, you go take a nap."  He caught sight of the fuzzy person. "Who's that?"

"Apparently another me.  I have no idea I was really a biker mouse.  I'll have to take pictures for the conventions."  He smirked and went to do that, then headed up to one of the spare rooms for a nap.

Vecchio sat down with the other two of him.  "Please tell me your Xanders are sane."

Ballistics Ray looked at his Xander, then at the other one.  "Only sometimes.  There are days when it's not readily apparent."   He looked at the other one.  "What about you?"

"I have to deal with a Martian Xander.  One who rides a male, intelligent motorcycle, is in an odd relationship a tan Martian mouse, and who is one of the Angels in the city."  He sipped his wine.  "You tell me."

Vecchio from Lavelle's world stared at them.  "Mine's a thief and an assassin who uses magic to help him now and then.  He's got a whole underground empire that we can't touch."  He took a drink.  "Can I switch with one of you?  I'd rather have furry Xander.  I get him now and then at the fandom conventions.  I've got a goofy, geeky Xander who likes to steal stuff and shoot stuff."

"Well, I've got geeky Xander who likes to shoot stuff," Ballistics Ray admitted.

The other Ray snorted, shaking his head.  "No, that's okay.  I've got a helpful, tough, furry Xander.  It could be worse."

"You win," the other two told him.

Vecchio snorted and shook his head.  "Not the prize I wanted, but thanks.  How do we get home?"

"Not a clue," they agreed in unison.

"You basically wake up," the bartender called.  "Just think, that other Xander's married to George Weasley and he works at Hogwarts."

"Yeah, but there's not one of us there," all three called back.

"We don't have to deal with him," Lavelle's Vecchio offered.  He looked at him.  "Didn't the kids end up over there?  Someone was babbling that Lupin the Fourth had said something about that."

Xander smirked.  "Yup.  They managed to get away with the first theft at Gringotts in six centuries.  Nearly half a million in galleons and some limited artifacts.  Percy and his new wife Arabelle got most of those backs though."

"Wonderful," Lavelle's Vecchio admitted.  "Should I even try to look for them?"

"Lavelle said he hasn't seen them so it might be pointless.  Fortunately he came after them to drag them home and yell at them.  They hooked up with the Lupin in our world.  It drove Draco and Percy insane for weeks," he offered smugly.

"I deal with those kids enough already.  They do that to everyone they meet," Vecchio offered, saluting him with his glass of wine.  "Why are you up here?"

"Mediating and helping with the magic stuff."

"Cool.  Can I go home now?" the furry Xander's Ray offered.  "I was sleeping."

"Sure," he agreed, pulling his wand.  He sent them together.  He looked at the other one. "You, dear?"

"Please.  My Xander and I both work tomorrow and his mate will not be a happy camper.  David might try to storm this place if Xander isn't back soon.  He likes to rescue his Xander.  At least when SWAT doesn't."  That Xander grinned and nodded, sending them home.  "Later, me."

"You too," Vecchio agreed, waving as he disappeared.  He looked at him.  "Should I go get him up?"

"If he's still up there.  He could be back in another world getting something.  Is Lavelle still here?"

"Yeah.  They got him enough stuff in that other Xander's realm.  Hermes got really happy to have a guy like him around." Vecchio groaned and finished his wine, then the other two glasses as well.  "Need something stronger, Inspector?"

"No, I'm good now.  Lavelle!"  He came down the stairs a few minutes later.  "Let's go."

"Sure."  He gave the other Xander a hug and a wink, whispering in his ear.  That got some giggles and they were gone.  Lavelle came back a moment later, going up the stairs to grab his bag, then went home again.  "Laters."  He disappeared, landing back in his bedroom.  Lupin and Jigen both stared at him.  "I do not move like that, bend like that, or dance like that, nor will I ever do so.  So get over it now, before I leave you for someone more nice to me."  He felt the choker take hold again and groaned.  "Fine.  Thank you, Janus.  So, is Hermes up there?" he called.   He took his bag down to his room, only coming back to toss the DVD's at them.  "Here, Strife said you wanted a copy.  We did send the other me home with the Harry Potter books, right?"  They both nodded, just staring at him.  "Good.  Since they're real in his world."  He smirked and went to hide the new things he had gotten there.  He liked these new leather pants.  They were very comfy.

***

Xander squealed as he landed, grinning at his house.  "It's still standing.  I'm very impressed with me."  He looked over as a redhead appeared next to him.  Then he squealed and hugged him.  "You're Ron!" he said happily, pulling back to grin at him.  "I saw the books!"

"Books?" he asked.  Xander handed him the first book of the set.  "Uh-huh."  He flipped through it, then groaned and shook his head.  He looked at the Xander.  "We're going to have to do something about this, Mr. Harris."

Xander manifested a ball of light.  "Why?  I'm a nature wizard."  He pouted.  "Please!"

"Let me talk to my boss.  It'll take me a minute."  He flinched as Ares appeared, then gaped.  "You're...."

"Ares," Xander said happily, hugging him. "Thank you for helping me!"  He gave him a cuddle.  "They were so confused but they said they expected some strangeness from any Xander.  Ooooh, and I saw the Ray there and he was a tough little guy.  Not a pleasure beast like my Ray at all, but he was kinda cute by being so tough."  He kissed him on the cheek and headed inside.  "I'm home!  You'd better be naked and waiting for me!"  He slammed the door.

Ron looked at Ares, waving the book.  "Would you like to come back with me, Lord Ares?  That way you can explain to my boss what happened?"

"Sure, kid.  Any Xander is a confusing Xander.  You just gotta learn to hang on for the ride."  They disappeared together, heading to the Ministry to get Xander exempted so he could read the books.

The End.

Table of Contents

Together Again. 2

Cruisin'. 37

Aftermath of Secrets. 54

Debut! 98

Sweet Endings. 134

Undercover. 165

A True Thieves' Paradise. 211

Uh-Huh.  That's Not My Sort of Xander. 279