Contents

Girl Problems

Captive Audience

Powerful Ones

Xander Comes Clean, Or At Least A Bit More

Lupin Family Plans

Lupin Family Fun.

All Grown Up and Mischief To Go

Necessary Attachments

Return Trip

Enough for Now.

Sacrifices

Hazy Shades.

The Power of Love.

Girl Problems

Xander walked all the girls into the doctor's office about a month later, nodding at the receptionist. They were skirting the system a bit, but this wasn't going on the government's health care plan, it was through private insurance and they were all willing to pay for the girls to go on birth control so no one could really say much to her about it.  "Harris?"  She nodded, marking that they were there and gave each girl a clipboard to fill out.  Xander sighed and ended up filling them out for them, it asked things that the girls didn't know.  Lotus, the last to start her cycle, had started last week and had just stopped.  The doctor said it was fine to bring her too.  The sooner started the sooner they could find any problems.  The fathers had shuddered in horror and went to find a bar while she was here with the girls.

The nurse came out and took them all back to the first exam room to do the preliminaries first and together to put them at ease.  "You are sisters?"

"The fathers live together - two are my step daughters, two are my daughters, and Lotus lives with us," Xander told her.  "It's easier and more calming to do it together."

"That seems reasonable," the nurse agreed, pulling out her stethoscope.  "I'm assuming they've been in the doctor's before?"

"We have a private doctor for most things," Xander admitted.  "Just not for this.  He doesn't do female problems."

"Ah."  She pulled Melissa over first since she was closet, checking her vitals, her heart sounds, taking three vials of blood, and starting her chart.   "When was your last cycle?"

"Last month, about thirteen days ago," she said, thinking back.

Arsene coughed and pulled out her calendar, handing it over.  "I keep track of this shit, it keeps me sane when I don't have to deal with you while you have PMS."

"That is a myth," the nurse told them.

"Then explain the mood swings, the slightly homicidal tendencies I get, and the cramps," Melissa offered.  The nurse gave her a look so she shrugged.  "I do.  I also get migraines some months."

"Very well."  She made note of that on the girl's chart, looking at the calendar to mark down all the dates of the last cycles.  "You next," she ordered to Arsene.  She moved up, letting Melissa have her seat while she got poked, prodded, and blood drawn.   Then Lotus got hers done.   "You are new to this?" she asked.

Lotus nodded.  "I just finished my first one."

"You are older?"

"And of a much different bloodline," Xander pointed out.  "She's mostly Japanese and I'm told they usually start later."

"Fine," the nurse agreed. She got Lotus done and moved to the other two.  "You two are sisters?"

"No, we're just friends.  I'm Arsene's twin," Sierra told her.

"I'm Melissa's," Savannah noted. "We don't share their interests."

The nurse nodded and got them done quickly, then went to talk to the doctor.

"Guys, we're doing your eye exams after this," Xander said.  "Just in case.  I don't want anyone not being able to see on the job, or even in classes."

"Yes, mother," they all groaned.

The doctor walked in, a smallish woman that Xander had liked while she was delivering Fred and Sarah.  "Hello," she said with a grin for the family.  "You are all here for your first checkups.  Are we putting them all on birth control?"   The mother nodded.  "Are they all going on the pill?"

"Nope.  Arsene can't remember to feed her pet everyday, I don't trust her to remember a pill.  Lotus could do a pill.  Melissa can get lost in projects with Arsene.  The other two I'd rather have on something stronger and semi-permanent."

"Mother, we agreed to leave off on the boys," Savannah said tiredly.

"Yay."

The doctor nodded, making notes of that.  "That is fine.  There are many options.  Including a new monthly shot, a weekly patch, the depo shot, which works for three months.  There are also inter-vaginal hormonal rings that act like a pill, the IUD, diaphragms - though I do not recommend those last two often, the sponge, vaginal film - which is not something I would suggest except as a backup to a condom as I would a sponge.  There is also norplant, which are slim rods placed under the skin on the arm for up to five years, though I usually recommend three.  I have pamphlets on all those that the girls can look over before they're done."

Xander nodded.  "That's probably a good thing.  We do a lot of traveling as a family, including through Islamic countries and to Japan.  They're also in boarding school and we know that the school does not like it's girls to be on birth control."

"I've seen sponges before," Savannah offered.  "One of the older girls explained it to me when I asked."

"They depend on them being placed correctly, young lady.  They have a high failure rate if not placed exactly," the doctor warned. "That is also why I do not recommend diaphragms or cervical caps.  Especially not to those who could still be growing."  She looked at the mother.  "I'll get the pamphlets, then take the first one in for her exam.  Are you coming in?"

"If they want," Xander agreed.  "I leave that up to them."

"That's very sensible, mother.  Some of us would be rather embarrassed," Savannah said dryly.

"That's fine, then you can have a nurse in there with you," the doctor agreed.  She left and came back with the group of pamphlets, putting them on the counter.  "Who's first?"

"I'll go first," Arsene offered.  "I tend to lead the family at this level."  The doctor smiled and walked her out.  "Is PMS really a myth?  Because Melissa has it horribly and I'd rather not have to deal with it again.  She gets odd, moody, and occasionally homicidal.  Plus she cries for no reason!"

"Hormones are often odd things," the doctor noted.  "PMS is one of those things that most women understand and most men in the medical field believe is a mental hallucination.  That's why they made a drug that is mostly prozac for those who suffer horribly."

"No, she doesn't need that.  I'd rather have her be normal than be on drugs.  Though the school's shrink wants to put us all on drugs because we don't want to be society wives and simpering idiots."

The doctor let her into an exam room.  "It is often that way when you go to the higher priced boarding schools.  Strip off everything, put on the gown, and lay on the bed.  I'll be right back with a nurse."

"Yes, ma'am."  She waited until the door had closed, then stripped off down to her socks and got onto the bed with the paper gown on with the opening in front.  It made more sense that way.

Xander waylaid the doctor in the hall.  "We're having a problem with two of the girls," she said quietly.  "We know that they're active with boys.  Can you tell me if they're still virgins?  If not, we need to take some harsher steps on this matter."

The doctor looked at her.  "They are under the age where they can make their own choices medically.  I can tell you if they are or not.  Do they ride horses?"

"Arsene and Melissa do.  I'm not sure about the other two.  I do know that Sierra had a bad fall off a bike in her youth.  We think she was pierced at that time, but the doctor didn't do more than hint about it.  We were in an Islamic country at the time."

"That's fine.  There are other indicators that it's not riding or injury related."  She got the next one, Melissa, and stuck her in her own room to get ready while she went back to Arsene to do her exam.  "Do you have any idea of which form of birth control you wanted to talk about?"

"I'd like something long lasting, I know I have little self control for some things.  I know I can't remember to take a pill every day, mom was right about that, but I wouldn't mind something that would take away the period if possible."

"The shot can but it doesn't always."  The doctor moved up to feel for lumps in her breasts.  "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No, but I know I'm curious.  I nearly made a major mistake and followed a guy into a bathroom at a rave.  Mom about killed him for it, even though he was only sixteen."

"Good.  You're much too young for that."  She switched sides, then made a note on the chart.  "All right, this will hurt some.  It should be pressure.  It will not feel good."  She pulled over a stool and opened a speculum.  "Deep breath please."

***

The doctor walked into the office where Xander was waiting alone.  "All right.  All the girls are on suitable methods of birth control.  Arsene is on the patch.  Melissa has opted for the monthly shot for now, but may be changing because she thinks that hormones may end up driving her insane.  She thinks she's low on estrogen and very masculine.  Those can be gotten most everywhere but probably not in the Islamic countries."

"What about at school?"

"I have talked to her school's nurse and she will administer it since the girl is on it to help control those mood swings," she said smugly.  Xander grinned at that.  "As for Lotus, I have put her on the pill.  She agreed that she could take the pill each and every day.  She and Arsene have a six-month supply.  You can have your regular doctor write a prescription for them."  She opened the folder with a sigh.  "As for the other two."  She noticed the mother was gripping her hands together.  "One is not virginal.  She's actually fairly open at the moment.  She admitted she had been having some personal fun late last night.  The other is still virginal, but we had a long discussion about what she was doing and she is not safe.  I filled in her knowledge of safe sex in all it's forms.  We gave both of them condom packs.  We put both girls on the patch.  I would put them on norplant but I'm not sure of it's use in girls that young."

"We're going to have a problem?"

"Yes, you will," she agreed.  She closed the chart.  "You already have one in Savannah."

"Then we'll be dealing with that.  Nothing extreme like sewing her shut, but perhaps a all- girl's convent school.  What is she on?  The patch?"  The doctor nodded.  "She has a supply?"

"Yes, though her sister Melissa has taken them all for her and the other one, promising to make sure they use them."

Xander sighed and nodded.  "Thank you.  We'll be having a long chat tonight with her and her father."

"Are there more children?"

"I've had a number of accidents," Xander said dryly.  "The others are older toddlers and younger toddlers."

"Very well."  She handed over the sheet she had printed up with the instructions for the different methods.  "Keep that as a reference and for your doctor to write the other prescriptions.  They'll still have to be examined each year.  Hopefully you can stop that one."

"Oh, she will be one way or another," Xander agreed dryly, shaking her head.  "Her father will put her ass in a chastity belt if he has to.  He's promised to in the past."  She stood up, tucking the paper into her purse.  "So, condoms for them all, right?"

"Definitely.  Most of them aren't going to break the rules you set.  Sixteen isn't a bad age to start having sex, and with most of them being impatient you probably won't get past that.  It was a reasonable expectation."

"Arsene is too much like her father," she noted with a smirk.  "Thank you, Doctor."  She shook her hand.  "Expect them next year."  She walked out, paying the receptionist for the visit with the credit card she had stolen off Lupin again.  "Car," she ordered.  They headed out with their paper bags clutched to their chests, some of them not looking very happy.  "We'll get tylenol on the way to the eye doctor's," she offered.  "I remember that pain, ladies."  She got in to drive, making Arsene move.  "We'll get milk shakes too."  She drove them away, heading to the nearest drive-thru to get some milk shakes and then to a drug store to get pain killers.  Then they headed to the eye doctor's, making him smile.  "No injuries here, just normal kids so far."

"That's always a good thing," he promised, taking them back to waiting room.  Melissa went back first, then they were off and running to find her glasses.  She and Sierra were the only ones who needed them, and Sierra decided on contacts, against the doctor's orders.  But she called her father and he agreed that she could try them and get a pair of glasses as backup.

By the time they met up with everyone at the hotel for the night, Xander was exhausted.  She flopped down in a chair and put her feet up, letting Lupin take her heels off.  "We need to talk," she told them once the kids were in their own rooms.  "We've got a problem according to the first doctor today."

Jigen winced. "Arsene?"

"Savannah."

"Excuse me?" Lupin asked.  "Savannah?"

"What!" she yelled.

"Get your ass out here, daughter!" Jigen yelled.  "Right the fucking hell now!"  She locked her door and he glared at it.  "Boys?"

"We can't be sure.  Toys we're sure of," Xander told him.  "She was still dilated.  Sierra's close but not gone over that edge yet.  All the doctor would say is that they had to have a talk about all forms of safe sex but that she was still virginal.  The others are okay.  Arsene, and both good girls got patches.  Which Melissa confiscated to make sure they use them.  Lotus is on the pill and Melissa is on the monthly shot.  The doc thinks that might help with her hormonal problems.  They've got six months supplies except for Melissa. And she can be switched back to the patch or the pill if we have to for a month.  It's about the same."

"Decent enough," Lupin agreed.  "Want me to get Goemon to cut open the door?"

"She's not in there now," Arsene said as she came out.  "I just saw her sneaking out onto the fire escape a moment ago.  So, she's a ho too?"

"We're not sure.  It's your job to make sure it doesn't happen again," Xander told her.  Arsene saluted and went back to her room.  "Thank you."

"Where might she be going?"

"Clubbing," Xander said dryly.  "She's a girl who thinks she knows best and likes cute guys.  She's going to the mall or going clubbing."  She pulled out her phone and called another parent with a kid at the school, an older friend of hers.  "Hey, it's me.  Savannah just snuck out to find herself a boy.  If you see her, I want to know.  Yeah, her.  Yes, I know how old she is.  That hasn't quite made it through her pointy little head yet.  Melissa got all the brains sometimes.  Thanks, man."  She hung up.  "The Don is going to send out an alert to drag her ass back here."

"That's fine, I'm going to search for her," Jigen announced, heading out with Ishi following him.

"Also, Sierra really shouldn't have her contacts.  Her eyes are still growing, she's in the middle of a growth spurt.  Hers and Melissa's glasses will be done tomorrow."

"Melissa too?"  Xander nodded.  "That bad?"

"More of computer eyesight.  It's not horrible but she was slightly fuzzy.  Sierra's was worse but correctable and nowhere near Ishi's."

Lotus came out and sat down on the couch, looking at them.  "Sierra is cowering in her room.  She didn't think the doctor would tell you anything that she shared."

"I only asked to be told if they weren't virgins, dear.  Nothing else.  I let the doctor deal with the rest."

Lotus nodded.  "Which will put her at ease.  Did she share anything about me?"

"No."

"Thank you.  I may need reminded my first few days to take my pill."

"Cool.  Which meal?"

"Dinner.  I'm usually more aware at that time."

"Sure," Lupin agreed.  "As long as you use them," he promised.

She snorted.  "I can see my father turning some boy who dared touch my cheek or hand into fish bait.  I'd hate to see him with a boy I had sex with."  She stood up.  "I'll tell her you said that, mother.  Are we doing anything else?"

"Dinner."

"Thank you.  Can we do some shopping tomorrow?  I'm growing again."

"Sure, kiddo," Lupin promised, kissing her on the forehead.  "If your mother gives me back my credit card."  Xander tossed it back with a smirk.  "I should make you pay for everything, dear."

Lotus scurried off to Sierra's room to talk to her, coming out shocked.  She hadn't expected things like that to be the big secret.  She looked at the parents, then shuddered and headed to talk to her father.  He would give her good advice.  She found Melissa in there explaining how the pill worked.  "Father, Melissa, I need advice."  She closed the door and sat across from them.  "If I learned something that was not...proper or healthy and it was told to me in confidence, should I tell?"

"Are we talking about Sierra and her pot smoking?" Melissa asked.  "I know she tried it once."

"Um...."  Lotus whispered in her ear. "That's what she was scared of mother learning."

Melissa sighed.  "That needs to be known by her father.  Mom will throw a bloody fit, but her dad might not kill her for it."

"May I know?"

"You'd tie her down and beat her," Melissa assured him.  Lotus whispered more in her ear.  "Oh, Gods."  She rubbed her forehead.  "She's got to own up to that, Lotus.  I didn't want to know that."

"Yeah, but I think the parents should know."

"They probably should," Goemon agreed. "You usually have good instincts."

"Yes, but only two people could have told the parents, father.  Me or the doctor and Xander said she wasn't told. I told her that myself."

"Fuck," Melissa sighed.  "Okay. I'm going in there."  She got up and went to talk to Sierra.  She tapped on the door before walking in. "You scared the hell out of Lotus.  You told her things that she should tell the parents.  You've got two choices: stop it all or tell the parents."  Sierra glared at her.  "Or I will make Lotus do it."

"You can't do that!"

"Stop, now," Melissa ordered coldly.  "I'm not letting you destroy your stupid ass by doing this.  Or your father and mother.  You have a day to decide and I will be watching."  She turned and walked out, slamming the door.  Lupin looked over at her.  "Tomorrow.  She has the chance to stop first."

"Stop what?" Xander asked casually.

"Tomorrow, mother."  She went back to Goemon's side.  "She has until tomorrow to either confess or quit totally.  At which time I will be making you tell the parents," she told Lotus.  Lotus nodded and cuddled up to her father.  "Good."

"What is going on?" Goemon asked.

"If I told you, you'd put her out of her misery."  Melissa looked around.  "I'm going to go surf the 'net.  You two meditate or talk."  She walked back to her room, closing the door quietly.  She turned and squeaked, finding her Uncle sitting on her bed.  "I promised she'd have a day."

He looked at her.  "Yeah, but I don't play that game."  He waved her closer, settling her on his thigh. "Drugs, sex, or other things?"

She looked at him.  "I promised, Uncle.  I gave her a day."

He gave her a squeeze.  "I love your loyalty, 'Lis, but it has to be told.  She won't stop, she'll hide it from you.  She's too much like me for my own good.  I know she told Lotus and she told you."

"She told the doctor and the doctor gave her advice," she offered.

He gave her another squeeze.  "I know this makes you and Lotus uncomfortable.  It still has to come out.  I'd expect them to nark on you if you were getting high all the time."

"Both," she said quietly.  "I know she did pot once.  I climbed on her case about that.  Apparently she's had a few other times with other things. And other people."

He hugged her. "Thank you. That's enough for me.  I don't need details, I'd get sick."  She rested her head against his shoulder, getting comforted.  "I need to know about these things.  Xander would jump her and put her into a hospital, but we'll work with her.  I'll give her that day."  He let her go after patting her on the back.  "Should I ask Lotus?"

"She probably knows details. She only mentioned a few things to me.  You, um, might want to break into the shrink's files.  Or the Headmistress' files."

He nodded.  "I'll do that tonight."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "If you need to change methods, just tell us, 'Lis.  We want you to be comfy enough to use those things."

"Uncle, I don't think it'll be necessary for a few years.  I can agree with mom's rules.  They're set down for my own good and I agree with them.  Besides, there's a bunch of stupid, ugly boys around us right now.  You can't be hot if you brag or if you don't seem to be able to bathe on a regular basis."

He grinned.  "Good girl.  Hopefully Arsene will pick up that attitude."

"She's more curious, not looking for a boyfriend.  She just wants to know."

"That's fine, I was the same way.  The problem is that sex is addictive.  Once you start you don't really want to stop."  He put her onto the bed with a grin.  "Thank you, 'Lis.  What do your glasses look like?"

"I look cute and smart.  About what I am," she admitted with a grin.  "Thank you, Uncle."

"That's what parents are for.  If yours wasn't off chasing your twin, he'd tell you the same thing."  He went back to cuddle Xander.  It must have been traumatic to take them all to their first pelvic exams and eye exams.  He found her stretched out on the couch so laid on top of her.  "You okay?"

"Yup, just fine.  Just tired."  She cuddled him closer.  "Are we done for the night or should we check on Jigen?"

"Either he's found her or he's with the local guys looking for her."

"I'm sure he's found her.  She couldn't have gotten that far and he's good at searching her out.  Especially since he planted a tracking device under her hair on the back of her neck."

Lupin snickered.  "We should do that for the rest of them."

"She's the trial."  She kissed him.  "Can we take a nap now?"

"Of course.  You want the bed or here?"

"Here.  That way we make sure Jigen comes back."  She yawned and rubbed her nose on his shoulder.  "I like this shirt, it's soft."  She yawned again and closed her eyes, falling asleep being held.  She liked being held.

He kissed her on the forehead and let her nap.  When she was fully asleep he got up and moved her so she was on top of him.  It was more comfortable and he could watch the door this way.  Xander snuggled into his chest and he turned on the tv to watch the news, just in case something new was coming into the country.  He needed a new job.  "Hey, 'Lis," he called quietly.  "Find me a target!"

"Sure, Uncle Lupin.  Art, jewels, or stupid people?"

"Jewels or stupid people."

"On it."

Lupin watched tv while he waited for one of the Jigens to come up with something he could do.  Jigen finally came back a few hours later, hat pulled low and Savannah trudging in front of him. "You okay?"

"Hell no."  He sat at the end of the couch.  "We had a long talk however and she's going to stop before I kill her."  He sprawled out, looking at Xander.  "She taking a nap?"  Xander shifted so he held out an arm.  "Pass her here, I need a teddy bear."

Lupin shifted her closer, letting Jigen hold their comfort snuggle for now.  "Boys?"

"Yuppers.  And she said some things about Sierra too."

"As I found out.  Lotus is having a bout of conscience about telling us what she found out."

Jigen gave him a long look.  "Was that about the party in the hall where the shrink broke them up?"

"No, but I was going to go steal the shrink's records anyway.  I want to see what he's saying about my baby."

"Is this rebellion?" Jigen asked.

"Hmm," Xander moaned, shifting on his lap.  "Yeah, sure is."  She kissed him on the neck.  "Can I nap?"

"Sure, babe.  You nap."  He patted her on the butt, shifting some so she could get comfortable.  She moaned and kissed him again, then put her head on his shoulder.  "If this is rebellion, how do we stop it?" he asked quietly.

"We've got to.  I'm not grandfather material yet," Lupin said dryly.  He shifted, and Jigen took his place lying down to be Xander's pillow.  "A new school might help.  The kids at the Academy won't play that way."

"Yes they will, they're horny teenagers who think they're tough guys.  They might be worse."

"Short of a convent school, I'm not sure what to do then," Lupin said with a shrug.  "They wouldn't let them be on birth control in case they snuck out."

Melissa came out with a few pieces of paper, including one for a remote Swiss all-girl's school. "Just like on Bond. They'd deserve it."  She looked at her mother.  "Is he comfy, mom?  You could be in a bed, we wouldn't mind.  We'd even wake you up for dinner so Ishi didn't eat yours too."

"Let her nap, 'Lis.  She needs it.  It's traumatic watching your kids go for their first paps," Lupin offered, pulling her back against his side.  "What did you find, princess of perfect planning?"

"I found a stupid idiot who has a wonderful gem collection who thinks that his world is airtight and not able to be picked.  It's all-but a challenge."  She smirked up at him.  "He really is arrogant and he likes to date rich teenage girls."

"Interesting."  He read the guy's bio, nodding at the various points.  He was a dirtbag of extreme proportions.  He was nearly eighty, liked to tap the fountain of youth in young girls of good breeding.  Was supposed to have fathered at least one child with one of them.  He had a good gem collection.  Nothing stunning but a few good pieces.  "Very interesting.  Yes, we could definitely do this as a family."  He handed it up to Jigen to let him read it.

"This dirtbag's asking for it," he decided.  "Winter break's nearly over."

"We could do that instead of going back," Ishi offered from his doorway.  He had snuck back in after getting some candy  "I wouldn't mind.  Amanda's been withdrawn by her mother because of the 'antics' going on in the school.  Apparently the Headmistress is also auctioning off some girls at their parent's behest."  He took the papers, reading them over.  "Hmm.  Arsene could play that old.  So could Melissa."  He shrugged and handed it back.  "I'm good, and there's a convention near there soon."

"Con?" Xander mumbled.

"Shh, discussing a job near one," Jigen whispered, stroking down her back.  She nodded and wrapped her arms around his chest, getting more comfortable to go back to sleep.

"When's dinner?" Ishi asked.  "I'm starved."

"Yup, you're a teenager," Lupin said with a touch of humor.  "Soon, kiddo. We'll order up."

"No, we can go down," Jigen promised.  "I'll be making sure those two are tagged."

Melissa heard a beep and got up, heading into her room to check for a new email.  She smirked at the answer to her question from a friend at school, printing off the lists.  Which she presented to the uncles.  "The best all-girl schools based on prestige.  The top three are in the middle of nowhere."

Goemon walked in.  "The cops are here."

"Again?"

"Again," he agreed.  "Not looking for us however."

"That's good, it's a nice change," Melissa decided.  "Any idea why they're here?"

"A drug dealer who resides here."  He looked at the list.  "I believe my son would stand out in those schools," he taunted.

"It's for Sierra and Savannah," Lupin told him.  "I'm liking the sound of this one in Brittany.  Jigen, check it out.  Second most prestigious.  Academically sound and centered.  Good music and art program, good science program.  Nearest town is sixty miles away and they get to go in monthly.  Small student body of 200 or so.  Exclusive, must gain admission from the committee.  Usually takes two years.  Most of the girls go onto business and law fields."

"That sounds ideal for the two non-thieves," Goemon offered.  "Lotus as well."

"I'm coming with you guys," Lotus said as she walked out of her room.  "The drug dealer is apparently right below my room.  I can hear the cops shouting 'get down or I'll shoot you' in German."  She sat on the arm of the chair so she could look at the list.  "That second one is nice and all, but it's gloomy.  The fifth on the list is supposed to be pretty.  I know girls who tried to get into there."

"Hmm."  Lupin looked at that one.  "Academically sound, geared toward those who will be working in the family businesses, usually money people.  Switzerland.  Lots of activities and a nearby town but they have guards on the grounds.  It's on the way to the next job."  He looked at Jigen.  "You think?"

"I do think," he agreed.  "We'll set up a meeting," he offered.

"I can do that," Melissa told him.  "They've all got email these days, dad."  She went to get her laptop, tapping on the link to that school to write them an email, telling them she was Lupin the Third and that they had some daughters who did not want to join the family business but who needed and education in a safe environment with teachers who would be on the lookout for them to revert to a similar lifestyle he lived.  She sent the girls' specifics and how they were able to slack off on their present grades due to some unfortunate teachers in the school not paying any attention to them.  She sent the email asking for an interview and a tour, and gave her email and her uncle's cellphone number.  Then she carried her laptop out to the living room and retook her seat against her uncle's side.  "I asked for an interview and tour, gave them your cell and my email."

"Good girl, 'Lis," Ishi praised.  "They need that sort of school.  Tell me, do the nuns hit hard?"  All the adults looked at him.  "Guys gossip too, people, especially about certain debutantes who do naughty things in the gym after hours."

"I hadn't heard that one yet," Lotus admitted.

"Hmm, probably don't want to either.  It's fairly disgusting what Martinale and her group do.  Along with most of the cheerleaders."  He looked at the sleeping person.  "Should we order up and some of us just get a lot?"

"Son, you eat more and more each day.  You will soon be fat," Goemon chided gently.

"Dad, I'm a teenage boy.  I'm a bottomless pit.  You probably were too if you thought back."

"I tried very hard to control those urges."

"Well, I can't concentrate with the feeling of my stomach folding in on itself or trying to eat the ribs or spine around it.  Sorry, it must be a flaw from the genetic mother."

Goemon snorted and patted his son on the head.  "If you say so.  We'll feed you soon, even though you just ate a few hours back."

"It's been hours?  Are you sick, Ishi?  You've done nothing but nibble for the last few months," Melissa teased.

"Funny.  Watch me eat my dinner and yours, Melissa."  He looked at his uncles.  "If dinner isn't soon, can I have some cash to get a snack from downstairs?"  Lupin handed over his wallet.  "Thanks, uncle."  He blew a kiss and jogged out before anyone could ask him to share or get them anything.

"All boys are like that, Goemon, and he gets plenty of exercise," Jigen reminded him.  "He'll be fine."

"Yeah, I lost a great bit of weight during a few of my growth spurts," Lupin agreed.  "Give him a year or so and he'll be normal.  He might be seven feet tall by then," he joked, "but it'll even out eventually."

"That's what I'm afraid of.  A seven-foot samurai can not hide very well," Goemon noted.  He looked over as his son came back in with a large paper bag.  "Were you that starved, son?"

"Yeah, I am, sorry."  He went into his room to snack on the food and candy.  He pulled out the burger first, scarfing it within a few bites.  Then he moved onto the candybar he had bought.  Someone knocked on his door.  "Enter and possibly be eaten," he called.

"Do you know how naughty that sounds?" Arsene said as she opened the door.  "Got any more chocolates?"   He tossed over a chocolate bar.  "Thanks, Ishi.  Next time you go out, I need tampons."

"Fat chance, Arsene.  I do not buy things like that for any girl."  He ate another bite, finishing that candy bar and moved to the next thing, a piece of fruit.

"Gods, you're disgusting," she complained, heading to eat her chocolate in peace.  "Daddy, the next time one of us gets near a pharmacy I need tampons."

"That's a girl thing, dear, we don't touch those," Jigen told her.

"Not even for Xander," Lupin said proudly.

"If I need some, you'd better be hauling your ass out to get me some, *dear*, or I'm going to take out my pissedness on you and Jigen while I have to spend the whole time in a bathtub.  Or don't you remember the last time I had a cycle?" Xander asked from her comfy spot.  "We'll be heading out to do that tonight.  Is this a necessity *right now*?"

"Nope, not yet.  I'm figuring I've probably got a week with the way I feel and how much I want chips and chocolate."  She broke open her candy bar and nibbled on a piece.  "When's dinner?  Watching Ishi make a pig of himself reminded me to eat too."

"How about in an hour?" Jigen suggested.  "We'll head down, get some food, you girls can come back up here."

"And you'll be doing what with Ishi?" Melissa teased.

"Nothing.  He'll probably be coming back up here too.  One thing about guys in growth spurts is their ability to nap all the time.  He'll probably come back and nap.  Ishi?"  No answer.  "Yup, probably a nap."

"I do remember that stage," Goemon admitted.  "I never ate like that however."

"Goemon, at the time you were in training.  They were probably trying to starve you to make you tougher," Lupin told him.

"Well, actually...."  His son's door was locked, making everyone look that way. "Hmm.  Son?"

"Busy!" he yelled.

"Ah, the other part of puberty," Jigen said happily.

"The permanently horny stage?" Xander asked.  She looked toward the door, then smirked.  "Ishi, should we come check on you, baby?"

"If yo do, I'm cutting your ass open with a sword!" he yelled.  "I'm not doing...that.  I'm changing clothes!"  He came out a few minutes later.  "See, just changing clothes!"  He looked at his father.  "I'm still not sure about these jeans."

"That's because they make your ass look hot," Arsene assured him.   "You hate being hot and looked at."  She looked at his shirt, then ran a hand down it.  "Hmm, silk.  Nice," she purred, smirking at him.  "Where might Amanda be tonight?"

"Down on the Rue St. Maria," he sighed.  "Can we eat down that way?"

"No," Lupin told him.  "But you may go to a movie with a chaperone."

Ishi smirked and grabbed Melissa's laptop to write his girlfriend.  She wrote back immediately that she'd meet him at a certain fountain in front of a certain mall in about two hours.  He showed the message to Lupin, who shrugged and nodded.  "Who's chaperoning?"

"I will with Xander," Lupin told him.

"The point of chaperoning is not to get caught making out by the children," Goemon reminded him dryly.

"You're supposed to watching them, not having sex in the seats behind them," Jigen agreed.  "I'd better go."

"Fine, I'll go by myself," he sighed.  "It won't be nearly as fun.  What are we watching?"

"I figured I'd let her pick," Ishi offered.

"Son, that usually means you'll be watching something girly," Lupin advised patiently.

"Actually she likes action movies," he told his uncle.   "We'll probably be watching the latest shoot-em-up."  He checked himself.  "Should I change?"

"Let's eat first, that way you can spill stuff first," Jigen offered.  He watched as Goemon pulled Xander up.  "Go change, princess, and we'll see if we can't get into trouble tonight while he's watching the kids."

"Wear the dress you wore the last time we went clubbing, mom," Ishi requested.  "You looked hot and pretty."

"Sure, kiddo.  I've even brought that one."  She headed into their room and found the dress, and the shoes that went with it, putting those and some stockings on.  She walked back out, watching her men's reactions.  Jigen blinked and Lupin panted so she smiled.  "You like?  I found it while I was dressing Ishi up."

"I do," Lupin agreed, coming over to steal a kiss.  His hands wandered down her butt and he purred.  "Stockings.  Thigh highs," he moaned, starting to salivate.  "God, I want to let Goemon chaperone now."

Jigen walked over to steal his woman, smirking down at her.  He found the small bug and plucked it off, handing it to Lupin.  "Here, for you.  Have some fun with the cops tonight while you're frustrated."  He walked Xander off, letting Ishi lead the way.  "Let's get a seat to show off the pretty people, kid."

Ishi snickered.  "You two are so bad when you're fighting over who gets her that night."

"Hmm, yeah, but I win more often," Jigen said smugly.  She pinched him so he kissed her on the cheek.  "I do."

"That's because Lupin's not trying very hard."  They walked down the stairs to the main floor of the hotel, walking through the lobby to the in-house restaurant.  On the way, they heard a tarzanish yell and Lupin swung down, grabbing her on his way past.  Then he cackled and took off running with her.

"That's so cheezy," Jigen complained. He tilted his hat back to look up at the balcony, but those two weren't nearby.  "Lupin!  She's not a party favor to be had in the halls."  He heard the trademark giggle again and sighed, shaking his head.  "We'll save you two seats!"  He walked the rest of the group into the dining room.  "All us plus two more and smoking.  Otherwise I'll get sick on the smugness of Lupin."

"Certamente, sir," the host said immediately, leading them back to a central table.  He knew who they were, who hadn't seen the wanted posters?  This way the cops wouldn't have to disturb anyone else if they came rushing in and the others could see the hot things with them, their children. That one boy was simply adorable.   The other two came strolling in a few minutes later and he noticed how swollen their lips were and how she looked a bit rumpled and he smelled like sex.  It was rather obvious what they had been doing.  He showed them back to the same table, noticing that the others had separated the cute duo.  Perhaps there was more going on in that group than it seemed?  Hmm, the gunman in the hat had just kissed the woman on Lupin's arm.  Very odd indeed.  He got to finish that thought before the person in the mask with the gun burst into the room and shot him.  "Ah!"

Jigen, Xander, and Ishi's first instinct was to pull a weapon and point it at the stupid human.  "Dumbass," Ishi snorted, hitting him in the kneecap.

"Nice shot, son," his father praised.

"Hmm, not good enough though.  He's ruining my afterglow," Xander said snidely, hitting the guy rolling around in the nuts.  All the men not cowered under a table flinched and went 'oowww' in sympathy.  She strolled over, her heels clicking on the floor.  She kicked him onto his back, staring down at him.  "Do you know who I am?" she asked calmly.  He shook his head.  "I'm Sylvia."  He started to cry.  "You just interrupted my family having dinner and my afterglow from some quick nookie in the hallway.  Now, apologize and crawl your filthy ass out of this hotel, and never do another job again," she said patiently, sounding like she was talking down to a kindergartner.  "Or else my stepson, Ishi, will have to finish you off."  He cried harder but did try to get to his knees and crawl.  She noticed his backup was running their way and shot them in quick order, wounding them seriously but not killing them.  "Do not fuck with my family while they're trying to eat!" she said coldly.  "It only gets you dead.  I suggest you retire, before I have to let the boss come help."

"Who are you?" one of the clerks behind the desk asked in a near-whisper.

"Sylvia."  The injured people screamed and tried to move but they weren't going anywhere.  "Call someone to pick up this trash.  Ineffective.  Stupid.  They have bad plans, no backup to help them, and they expected to do what?  Rob the whole hotel with five people?  Do you think you're as good as Lupin, little boys?  You're not even as good as his good daughter, the one who doesn't steal."

"Sylvia, calm down," Jigen called, coming out to gather her up and bring her back to the table. "They'll be picked up.  We'll get to eat in peace and quiet, and Ishi will still make his date."  He helped her into her seat then sat down next to her. "Very nicely shot, darling."  He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it.  "Very pretty.  You are a testament to my excellent training.  You and Ishi both."

"You're being sappy," Goemon pointed out.  "Where's the waiter?"

"Probably still hiding," Lupin said dryly, smirking at Ishi.  "Very nice.  Even better than at the convention."

He shrugged.  "They'd keep me away from my date tonight, Uncle Lupin.  My woman is worth more than they are."

"Good point," he agreed, smirking at him.  "I feel the same way.  Speaking of, Jigen, may I have her back now?"

"Hell no," he said dryly. "She's mine now. You debauched her in the hallway.  Besides, you're going with Ishi on his date, remember?"

"What the hell is going on here?" one woman yelled.

"We just saved your ass," Arsene told her.  "Otherwise you would have been robbed and shot."

"And gee, they didn't even die from those wounds.  Very nicely done you two."  Melissa patted Ishi on the arm.  "I enjoy the hell out of watching you work since I'm a terrible markswoman."

"Thanks, Melissa."  He waved a waiter peeking out of the kitchen to come over.  "Hey, we need food.  I'm a growing boy and I've got a date in about an hour."

The man nodded and hurried back to get whatever was back there.  They probably wouldn't be too picky. A lot of the customers would wait while their orders were recooked.  He was just as shocked when they not only paid the bill, without getting the check, but left a thirty percent tip.  He had a new hero.  Damn, they were good and hot!

***

Ishi walked up to the fountain, smirking at his girlfriend checking her watch.  "Miss me?" he asked quietly, making her spin then gape in awe.  "Mom had her wicked way with my hair and wardrobe."  He stepped closer and kissed her gently.  "Sorry about the glasses."

"No, you look adorable in them," she breathed, smiling up at him.  "What are we going to see?"

"I don't care as long as I can sit next to you and touch your hand.  Pick something."  He smirked at her.  "I even cleaned off the gunpowder residue."  She grimaced at him, looking pissed.  "They tried to rob us over dinner.  I only got one guy in the kneecap.  Mom got the rest."

"Fine.  Don't keep me waiting next time."  She pinched him and nodded politely at his chaperone, who was someone she didn't know.  "No parents?"

He looked back.  "Well, Uncle Lupin had been back there.  Hi, Uncle Ray.  Wanna be our chaperone tonight?"  He walked his girlfriend off, holding her hand all the way up to the movies.  He found his Uncle waiting on him holding three tickets.  "I said she could pick."

"I picked something she might like," he whined back, holding out the tickets for her approval.  She squealed and hugged him. "Now, let's go watch the Incredibles and then we'll go for a milkshake or something sweet and innocent like that.  Your mother's waiting inside."

"Fine."  Amanda led him inside, letting the man taking tickets take them all.  Ishi got them popcorn, candy, and drinks, then only let her carry her own soda.  It was so very sweet of him.  They headed back to the theater, finding her mother saving most of a row for them.  It was a small theater, very intimate. "He finally showed up."

"I told her about the trouble over dinner already," Lupin admitted.  "Either sit between us or right in front of us, kids."

Ishi sat her beside her mother then took the seat next to her, handing over a small popcorn to her mother.  "It's only fair that I buy you munchies since it's such short notice.  Thank you for allowing her to come out with me again."

"Just be on your best behavior, young man."

He nodded.  "Of course.  I'd never think about doing anything wrong with her.  The Mother figure set down rules.  Because I was already dating I'm still allowed but if I do more than gently kiss her for less than a few minutes before we're both sixteen she's going to marry me off to some horrible man who'll have me night after night as a political marriage because I was too young.  She said sixteen."

Lupin nodded. "She did. I know someone who's perfect too.  He'd *love* you, Ishi."

"Yes, sir.  I'm not going to be improper with her.  That would be disrespecting her and I would never do that to my lady.  That's not how an honorable man treats his woman."

"As long as you remember that always, Ishi, I won't have to take you apart as only a surgeon can," Amanda's mother reminded him.  She nodded politely at Lupin.  "Thank you for picking something we could all stand to watch."

"You're welcome."  He stole his popcorn and watched as the music stopped and the previews stared.  He glanced at Ishi now and then, noticing they were holding hands and he'd occasionally kiss the back of hers.  Now and then he'd lean over and whisper in her ear, making her giggle and pinch him too.  He was happy, it was all good and he was being very proper.  Ishi certainly wasn't a Lupin.

***

"What do you mean a Goemon was shooting?" Zenigata demanded of the cops who had gotten here first.  "He's not a shooter!"

Ray K cleared his throat.  "You keep forgetting Ishi, sir.  Remember, he might as well be the love child of Goemon and Sylvia."

"Hmm."  He looked around.  "I didn't think he was that good."

"Oh, he is," Arsene said from the balcony, grinning and waving down at them.  "Unfortunately he's out right now.  Yes, Ishi is that good.  Mom taught him everything he knows, then handed him to Uncle Jigen.  Who's also busy at the moment. Did you need any questions answered, Gramps?  Oh, we're switching schools.  Mom said so."

Zenigata growled and started for the stairs but Ray held him back.  "Let me go!  She needs arrested!"

"I'm being good!" she snorted, looking hurt.  "And you're one of my favorite straight people too.  I should put up a protest that you're mean.  Or subject you to Lotus' mom."

"What happened to her?" Ray asked.

"Lotus," she said simply.  "The whoring bitch went far, far away.  Hopefully to a galaxy far, far away.  I've been wondering. Do you think Leia had to service the Hutt?"

Ray shuddered.  "If she did, I hope she got to take a long, hot, anti-bacterial bath.  That's disgusting, Arsene."

"Yeah, but you know how my mind is."  She shrugged.  "What can I say?  I'm like that."  She winked at Zenigata.  "Needed more of a statement?"

"You're going to go to jail, you little thief!" he yelled, still trying to get to her.

"Hmm, maybe.  But I'll definitely bring at least half of you down with me.  Or wouldn't your boss like his *secret* *personal* files back?" she asked in her best sultry look, then she cackled and ran off.  "I'll tell 'Lis you said hi!"

"Let go," Zenigata growled.  Ray let him go.  "Why did you stop me?"

"Because she's up to something.  This is the second time in two months that they've been in Paris.  What job are they pulling?"  Zenigata's eyes lit up.  "Exactly. It's got to be something to do with the jeweled egg exhibit.  Knowing that they're here in town gives us a head's up.  Besides, you wouldn't catch the little kid.  She runs cross country."

The Inspector frowned.  "Good point.  Don't grab me the next time."

"Sure, I'll tell your nearly popping wife that you died of a heart attack chasing Lupin the Fourth down a hallway in a hotel.  Get real, boss.  I'm not that fast, I couldn't duck her if she changed me into something again."

"Fine. Next time you get her."

"They're staying here," one of the receptionists offered.  "Up on three."

The cops looked at each other, then ran up the stairs together.  The door was open and everyone was gone but a few things had been left.  Zenigata found the notes left around but couldn't understand what they meant.  Movies in race cars?  Since when did race cars have built in dvd players?  Schools for the stupid?  Weren't they all? He held them up to his coworker.  "Do these make sense?  You know them better."

"Hmm.  School?  Didn't Arsene say that they were switching schools?"  He looked at the first one. "Movies and car races?  Hmm, a connection hit you?"

"Unless they're going back to Monte Carlo, no," he said slowly.  "But that would be dumb, they're banned from the country."  He heard whistling and snuck to the door, finding a startled Lupin and Ishi standing there.  "Aha, I gotcha!"  He pulled out some handcuffs but Ishi did a very pretty move and the next thing he saw was a nurse wiping off his aching head.  "What happened?" he groaned, trying to sit up but she wouldn't let him.

"Your coworker said that the young boy knocked you out.  Something about a feather through a brick wall in a finger?  I did not understand that part," she admitted, giving him a gentle smile.  "That one has left and another, who looks nearly as bad as you do, limped in a while ago.  He said he wasn't up to the chase so he's getting you something to drink."  She finished cleaning him up.  "I will tell him you are awake.  Should we call anyone?"

"Only if he didn't call my wife," he complained, settling himself into his pillows.  Moving his head hurt.  That brat had done something to his mind, he'd just have to wait and see what had happened. "What happened to the guy I was with?"

"The limping one can tell you that.  He found him he said."  She went to find him, smiling at the man on the deck.  "Inspector, he is awake and thinking this time," she offered with a smile.  "You may go back in."

"Thanks.  He okay?"

"He still has a headache.  As is expected."  She hurried off to check the other patients, letting him limp his way into that room.

"What happened to you?" Zenigata complained.

"Goemon found me listening to the bug I planted on Xander and knocked me out, then had my car go off a drop-off and hit a tree fifty feet later."  He sat down with a moan.  "Ray's off chasing them at the moment.  Once I got him free of that bridge and redressed, he was pretty pissed at the world."

"Redressed?"

"Lupin, sir."

"Scumbag."

Ray could only nod at that.  "He had him naked, hanging off the edge of a bridge, head down, and had drawn on his back that he was a bad man who was going after his daughter.  No mention of it being sexual or not."

"Technically the truth," Zenigata admitted tiredly.  "Any idea where they went?"

"Actually, we do," Ray admitted, shifting a bit.  "The clues were fairly helpful, that and they were looking at lists of schools.  Ray tracked them down and asked which one they were going to visit.  He's headed for there.   I'm assuming he's going to kick their asses before he drags them to jail.  He was a bit embarrassed."

"I have no idea why," Zenigata said dryly.  "Did you call Dawn?"

"Sure did, boss, and she was not happy.  She started to swear, then burst out crying because she couldn't curse Xander for hurting Ray. Something about it hurting the baby?  I don't even pretend to understand that stuff."  His phone rang and he checked the number, then answered it with a grunt.  "Fine, thank you.  Would you like to turn yourself in now, Xander?"  He snorted.  "Fine."  He hung up.  "She said she was at the museum with the eggs and a few were already missing when she got there.  It wasn't them fully."

"I wouldn't bet on that," Zenigata said dryly.

"There's one way to find out.  I can always go over there and check on their security.  Hey, weren't those the property of a suspected mafia kingpin from the old Sicilian lines?"  Zenigata nodded, looking smug.  "Any connection?"

"He said something unflattering about Arsene and Melissa."

"Hmm.  Revenge.  I'm sure he'll enjoy not getting the thing back. I'm off to check that out.  Get better, boss."  He wandered out, heading to his car.  He stopped when he saw an ambulance coming in, some sixth sense telling him to wait.  Sure enough, Dawn was being offloaded and she was screaming about wanting drugs and to get the kid out.  He followed, waving his badge at the startled nurses.  "She's my boss's wife.  He's upstairs, Zenigata."  He walked in there, pushing the doctor aside.  "Hey, Dawn.  You're in the right place, your guy's upstairs."

"Good, go castrate him for me!" she screamed, grabbing his arm to squeeze.  "I'm going to kill the mother fucker who stuffed my ass up!  He won't have to worry about sex because I'm cutting off his mother fucking dick and making him fucking well eat it!"

Ray looked at the doctor.  "Epidural not laid yet?"

"I have a nurse measuring one out," he said calmly.  "If you'd just open your knees a bit further we could check on the progress of your newest one, madam."  She kicked him, knocking him out.

"Huh."  Ray stuck his head out of the cubicle.  "She just kicked the doctor in the head and knocked him cold.  Do we have drugs for her yet?"  The nurses rushed off to get another OB to handle her and get her the drugs before they were next.   He went back to her side.  "It's okay, princess.  I'll stay until your man gets down here."

"He'd better be wearing armor!  I'll kill the bastard!" she screamed.  She squealed and grabbed onto him, making him groan in pain.  "Make it stop!"

A nurse rushed in with another doctor, who gave her the pain medicine first thing.  That would spare the children further down the ward listening to her.  She led Ray out, checking him over before sending him on his way.  Zenigata had been rolled down there and she was in good hands.  By the time Ray got to the museum there were some angry looking security guards.  "Sorry, I had to report to my boss, who's now conscious, and stay with his wife until they could get him downstairs.  She's in the middle of labor and had knocked out the doctor."  He flashed his badge.  "Do we have the security footage?  I got a tip from Sylvia that some of them were missing when she got here."  They looked stunned but led the way to the office, letting him have the comfortable chair while they did a video search.  They found who had stolen most of the eggs, then watched as Jigen and Xander stepped up to look and the eggs were reduced by another one. The problem was that he couldn't tell how it had been done.  He replayed it a few times, then looked at them.  "Did you catch how the first guy did it?"

"No," one of them said miserably.  "We've failed."

"These people are good.  You could have had someone standing beside it and still lost them.  The second theft was retaliation.  They said mean things about a few of her kids from what I've heard."  The guards looked skeptical so he backed up the tape to show the well- dressed couple. "That's Jigen and Sylvia.  Lupin's two hitters."  They looked stunned.  "They're the ones who told me that the main theft wasn't them and I still can't figure out how they did it."  He stood up with a moan, wobbling a bit.

"What happened, Inspector?"

"I was getting close to finding one of their lairs and the older Goemon knocked me out and made my car go off a small cliff and into a tree," he said bitterly.  "And Sylvia likes me."  They shuddered.  "Okay, let's go look at the spot.  Maybe we can at least figure out how they did it."  He wandered out, and his sixth sense told him to backtrack and look into a room, frowning at the child staring at the painting.  Lotus.  He walked in there and grabbed her, spinning her around.  "Still in town, Lotus?"

"My father's behind you," she said calmly, and he let her go, but she didn't move away from him.  "Thank you.  Yes, they were here to retaliate against the idiot who called Arsene and Melissa no-good whores who were no better than monkeys imitating their fathers.  Then again, he pissed Mom off for many reasons, Uncle Ray.  You'd be surprised what that man has in store for him.  As for the first theft, have you considered it was an inside job?"  She looked at the painting.  "That's very interesting but it's disturbing.  There's an open portal to the void in it and someone could pull my mother out."  She looked at him and smiled sweetly.  "Do you need something for the pain?  I'm very good at pain killers."

"No, thanks, kid.  Leave the museum and don't come back.  I can't charge you with anything but being the daughter of a thief.  Yet."  She bowed and left, taking her father's arm as soon as she met up with him.  "Goemon, I owe you one," he called after them.  "I'd run faster."

Goemon turned and bowed.  "Whenever you feel you are well enough to challenge me, I will accept.  Until then, rest and heal, you'll need it, Inspector.  If only for grabbing my daughter that way just now."  He walked his daughter off, taking her to the car.  "I found her staring at a painting."

"Kinda D&D, big portal?" Xander asked from the driver's seat.  Lotus nodded as she climbed into the back.  "That belongs to Ethan the last I knew.  It's got a great open portal but I'm not sure where it's going to.  Be careful with that one."  She drove off, taking them to the airport.  There weren't any Interpol people around to hassle them so they could take a leisurely drive.  They picked up Ishi, Melissa, and Sierra at the eye doctor's, then continued on their way.  "We should have a picnic.  It's a pretty day today."

"It is, but we can do that in Cairo," Jigen offered.

"Sure."  She tooted as she zipped past one of her favorite restaurants, heading out the freeway.  "Should we drive instead?"

"Nah, let's fly. It'll be faster," Ishi offered.

Goemon leaned closer to his daughter.  "What did you do to your mother?" he demanded quietly.  She tried to give him an innocent look but he snorted and shook his head.  "What?  I will not get mad."

"I sent her into the void," she told him quietly, glancing at the others.  "With my last teacher's help.  I won't allow her to hurt you again, father, nor us."  She shifted away from him.  "She can be retrieved.  She's presently immortal.  There is nothing but time and darkness there."  He scowled at her.  "You would have rather I did it with a potion? I could easily have done so."

"No.  I wish you had not had to do that much."

"Tough.  I refuse to let her harm you or us ever again, daddy.   She's an evil bitch and she's been sentenced to live the life that she should have lived earlier."  She gave him a defiant look.  "I'm not pulling her out without a damn good reason, like one of us dying and needing her organs harvested."

"I understand the reasoning but the execution and manner of the plan was not something that I think you should be doing for being a good witch, daughter.  That is not how ethical witches on the side of good react."

"One bobble won't change me, father.  I saw the dark in my teacher.  I'm not following him into the dark sea of power.  I will not allow someone like that to get off lightly however.  She deserved so much more for hurting the children, for hurting Ishi and I, and for hurting you."

"No more of such actions."

"Yes, father."  She leaned against his side.  "Are you mad?"

"No, I expected you to react after this latest bout of her childishness.  I simply wish you hadn't done anything that drastic."  He stroked over her hair, soothing and calming her until she was napping against him.

"With all respect, father, it was going to be one of us," Ishi noted, turning the page on his manga book.  "If she hadn't, I might have."  He glanced at his father, seeing the shocked look.  "Seriously.  We both have the same feelings on the matter.  She needed to be far away from the younger children and you, just in case you had a relapse of whatever addicted you to her."  He went back to his reading, only grimacing when his father kissed the side of his head.  "Thanks, father."

"You're welcome, son."  He looked toward the couple in the front, noticing Xander glancing back at him.  "We're fine."

"I'm checking the person following us.  She looks like a reporter."

Goemon glanced back, then nodded and turned around.  "She may be.  She does have a press pass in her window."

"Just what we need," Jigen complained.  "Lotus, where is the bitch?"

"You know that painting that's got the portal in it that I nearly took in Cleveland?" Xander asked.  Jigen nodded.  "She's inside that portal.  Lotus sent her to the void.  So she's immortal and immersed in nothingness."

"Huh.  Suitable since that's her speed anyway."  Jigen slid down.  "You could speed up before we're pounced by the reporter, Xan."

"I could but that would draw attention and there's already two cop cars on the road with us."

Jigen looked back, then snorted.  "Floor it anyway.  We're gonna be late otherwise."  She sped up, taking an unexpected exit and heading up the backroads to the airport.  They came out at the private terminals and ran inside to find a ride to Cairo.

***

Lupin walked his troublesome brats into this new school, smiling and shaking the woman meeting them's hand.  "Hello.  I believe we chatted last night?"

"Yes, we did."  She shook the hands of each of the girls.  "I believe you'll love it here, girls.  We may be an all-girls' school but we do have many activities and very high academic standards."  She led them through the main entryway.  "In this school we don't go by houses, as some other schools do, we mostly go by floors.  We encourage cooperation and moderation.  We also happen to encourage study groups if you're bored with our activities.  Then again, once a week we have a night where we do facials, pedicures, and the like on each other.  You'll find that someone on your floor is excellent in anything you may need beauty wise.  We have a wonderful science program.  Two of the ICPO's top forensic people have come out of our academy in the last ten years," she shared, still smiling.  "Now, we usually do put the girls in with an older student for their first year, but next year you could request to room together.  This year I've got two seniors who need roommates and I think they'd do wonderful.  One of them is on our equestrian team and headed for international competition and the other is actually the head of our Chess club.  She's also the one who organizes all of our school dances and parties."

She opened a door.  "This is our dining hall.  I figured we could fill out the paperwork in here since there's a good bit of it."  Lupin shrugged and let his daughter walk in first.  "I have heard that your last school was, to put it mildly, unsuitable now.  We have heard many distressing things about them recently.  You'll find that a few of your former classmates have applied here and may be starting next year.  We don't take many students once the term has started, but I read over what your father sent and it was most impressive.  You both seem to have good goals, are quite intelligent, and beyond reproach most of the time.  We do understand how being in such a bad environment can taint you toward the looser ways in life.  But do not worry, we will make sure that you reach your full potential."  She noticed the girls grimacing.  "Ladies, think of this as a fresh start.  No matter what foibles you gained at that last, horrible institution you do not have to continue them here.  This is a new start and a new way for you to move on.  We expect nothing more than for you to try your best.  Do you understand?"  They nodded. "Good."  She patted them both on the back.  "Then sit down and fill out the forms.  We took your grades from the other school and their tests to place you.  You'll be coming in as second years.  There may be some overlap with what you did at home, but I can't be sure.  If so, do feel free to tell your teacher that and hand them any papers you did for your parents."

"Thanks," Sierra said, sitting down to start on the forms.  "Are we going to be forced to be debutantes or act like society daughters?"

"You'll be expected to have manners, but we would never dream of forcing that sort of life onto you unless you wanted it," she promised calmly.  "There are many daughters of society families here however."

"Hey, that's fine, just as long as we don't have to waltz again," Savannah noted quietly.  "I hated those lessons."

"Tough.  I had to have them too," Lupin noted.  He looked at his watch, then at his daughters.  "You know, if something goes horribly wrong, Xander is actually a Lady.  She could name any of you her heirs."  They both shuddered.  "Good point?"  They nodded and got down to fill out the paperwork.  "By now they should be on the plane or else I'd let you call them."

"That's okay, dad," Sierra said, looking at him, then at the Headmistress.  "Our mother just put us on birth control.  Do you have a clinic here to continue that?"

"We do," the Headmistress agreed.  "We encourage it actually.  We do take a realistic view of the world, much to many parent's chagrin.  There is a town close enough to sneak into and some of the older girls have been known to.  Usually they're found and brought back by the local police.  I'm sure we won't have problems of that nature with girls of your age."  They shook their heads and bent back over the forms.  She smiled at Lupin.  "Did you need to run off already?"

"No, I'm free for a bit longer.  I'll be meeting the others later tonight.  That gives me enough time to take them uniform shopping in case they need blazers or anything."

"They would and there is a shop in town that does sell them," she agreed.  "Or you could let them do that on their own."

Lupin shook his head.  "Nope, not yet.  Not until they've proven they're over their little problems."

"I understand.  We have many parents who have done similar things to their daughters, though usually they go somewhere like St. Ives', which is on top of a mountain."

"We considered that one, that's their next step," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "We set up their education fees in a single draw acct."  He pulled out the paperwork.  "That will also hold their allowances.  We've given them those nice refillable debit cards. They're refilled once a month with about a hundred dollars.  The extra in there is for emergencies.  It's also got an alternate contact number if you can't reach us."  She nodded, that was reasonable.  "That's to our financial manager and she keeps track of us."

"That's fine.  I would expect such with what you do for a living.  Where did you finish your education?"

"Well, I did do a lot of it at that academy but I did a stint at the Assassin's Academy in Italy.  The other children may be going there.  These two have no interest in such matters so they're staying in a normal school.  Though, Sierra is a very good shot, as is Savannah."

"Unlike my twin," Savannah agreed dryly.

"Excellent!" the headmistress agreed excitedly.  "We have a marksmanship club and we hold competitions with another school.  We haven't won in years.  I'll introduce you to the head over the club later, ladies.  He'll be excited to meet you if you'd agree to join."

"Plus, they've got horses, a pool, and flying lessons when you're older," Lupin offered.

"You had us read the brochure, father," Sierra noted, changing forms.  "Am I allergic to anything?"

Lupin grimaced, then shrugged.  He pulled out his phone, using the text messaging feature to write Xander, who emailed back the list of allergies.  "Yes.  You're allergic to caffeine, you have very strong reactions to it.  You're also not to have sudafed ever again after the last time you reacted so badly.  Savannah, your mother said to put down that you have strong nausea to most antibiotics and that your medical records would be forwarded from Istanbul."  He checked the rest of the message then closed it and smiled at the text message.  "Also, Jigen said he'd forward guns to you two if you're joining the rifle team."

"Can I have mom's assault rifle?" Sierra asked.

"No.  We use single action rifles here, ladies."

"Hmm.  Then we'll need a good rifle with a scope, father.  Pick us something decent enough?"

"Of course."  He kissed her on the side of the head and reached over to tickle the other one, making her frown and swat at him, but she relented when he smiled.  "That's my baby girls.  I remember when you two were crawling around in just diapers."

"Which you never really changed," Sierra reminded him.  "You used to be so proud of that fact, dad."

"I still don't change diapers.  I'm going to be thankful when Yu's toilet trained too.  No more kids."

"Unless Janus wills," Savannah taunted.

"No, Arsene's not having any either," he said smugly.  "Maybe never."

"Then how would there ever be a Lupin the Fifth?" Sierra teased.

"Fred."

"You're going to have to step in to figure out which grandchild is going to be Lupin the Fifth, dad," Savannah reminded him.  "Otherwise there'll be a Lupin the Fifth from one and a Lupin the Sixth from another."

"Hopefully they'll be working together, girls.  Just like most of you will be."

"The younger set will have to prove themselves against the older set, dad," Sierra reminded him.  "Arsene would never put up with her baby brother stealing her attention."

"By then, she might be ready to slow down," he pointed out.  "Of course, if Fred wants to solo he can.  Remember, Sarah's going to go play with the fuzzy things and Alex is going to be a good guy, um girl, too."  He smirked at them.  "Then again, the other kids may be doing a turn at the Assassin's Academy for the rest of this year.  Not that I think they can teach them much.  Except maybe Melissa how to shoot better."  He shrugged.  "We'll see."

"I can see it now.  Fred's going to walk into one of those situations where they think they have Arsene and Ishi pinned and pick off some of the guys pinning them down, then Arsene will squeal 'Fred' and run over to hug him while Ishi takes out the rest.  He'll look just like you, think just like you, and dress like Uncle Jigen."  She noticed her father had a dopey look on his face and sighed.  "He'd still steal Arsene's thunder, dad."

"So?"  He ruffled her hair.  "Sierra, I just want you kids to be happy.  If Fred's a mini me, that's great with me. If he wants to be the new Lord at Xander's manor, then that's great too.  He'll decide his own fate, though I will be trying to warp my son to our family business," he admitted with a smirk.  "Two Lupins, a Jigen, and a Goemon will definitely take over the world."

"Yes, then promptly fuck them all to death," Savannah reminded him, smirking back at him.  "Your daughter will have a harem by then."

"So?  That's a sure sign she's a Lupin," he said proudly.  "As long as she's over sixteen when she starts and I approve of the ones she brings home, and she's careful, I won't mind too much."

"I'm telling her you said that," Sierra warned.

"She already knows, dear."  He patted her hair again.  "Finish filling those out so we can take a tour.  That way I can figure out how to sneak in to visit some nights."  They nodded, going back to their forms.

"You could use the front door," the Headmistress chided gently.

"Where's the fun in that?" the three people across from her said in unison.

"Fine, we'll make allowances."

****

Xander looked up as the woman who ran the Assassin's Academy joined her at her table.  "Morning."  She pushed over the pot of coffee.  "Espresso?"

"Please."  She poured herself a cup.  "They're already very well trained, Sylvia."

"I know," she agreed smugly.  "They still have things they can learn however."

"They do.  Ishi could very well learn another form.  He put our teacher in the hospital because the man pushed him to hurt him," she sighed.  "Melissa does need to know how to shoot better. It's like she's scared of guns."

"I hadn't thought of it that way.  I tried to teach her, so did Jigen."

"That's fine. It may be curable, especially now that she has glasses.  Arsene is a card," she admitted with a bright smile.  "She's smarter than the teachers who teach the students how to plan heists.  She's a smart mouth and most of the teachers aren't looking forward to having her, but then again most of them can't really teach her anything. She's far beyond what most of the teachers are already.  Her training and history is very strong."

"So you're turning them down?"

"We really couldn't do anything for most of them that would go beyond a year's worth of training.  Most of that would be letting them meet the other people in the field."

Jigen strolled over and took a seat facing the door.  "They're that good?" he guessed.

"They're beyond most of our graduates," the headmistress noted.  "Ishi's opponent forced him to hurt him.  Your daughter is wonderful, Mr. Jigen, and perfect in many ways but she still seems to be scared of the gun.  Arsene is far beyond what we could teach her.  Most of it for her would be making contacts.  Ishi could learn another form.  Our marksmanship teacher was very impressed with him.  He suggested that he forget the sword until he saw him working out with it against our teacher and his father.  His father had to step in to make sure he didn't finish off his opponent at one point."

"That's not like Ishi," Xander noted calmly.

"He insulted his sister.  He was defending her honor."

"Ah.  Then I'm impressed that Goemon stepped in."  She sipped her coffee.  "So, a year for connection's sake or are you going to pass them over?"

"I'd love to have them," she offered.  "Or you could go higher.  There is a higher training academy for such matters.  It's very harsh however."

Jigen shook his head.  "I've seen them.  I don't want my girl to be tortured to learn how to increase her pain tolerance."  The teacher nodded at that.  "What about the higher skills you teach?"

"Ishi already has most of those.  Arsene has many of them.  Melissa needs the most training at the moment, but she's a planner.  I don't expect her to be in the field all the time."

"We do," Xander assured her.

"Very well.  If you agree, we can take them for a year."  She heard the squeal of brakes and looked around, smirking at the other parent came in.  "Lupin," she said, holding out a hand. "I was reporting on the children's progress."

"Too good?" he teased lightly, sitting on Xander's other side.

"Very much so.  They may have a year's worth of lessons with us.  They've already done their field work.  Melissa needs help getting over her fear of guns.  Ishi could learn some advanced skills or another form.  Lotus is a darling and our teacher of herbology and poisons loves her.  Arsene basically came in so cocksure that the teachers knew which one she was without her having to say a word.  They decided they have almost nothing to teach her except stealth maneuvers."

"That's my girl," he said proudly.  "Oh, Jigen, the girls are on their rifle team.  They need good single action rifles, no scopes.  Their first match is in two weeks."

"I'll find 'em something tonight and send 'em on," he agreed, lighting a new cigarette.  "They like it?"

"They do.  Savannah was waylaid on the tour by the horses.  Sierra and her roommate hit it off immediately."  He smirked at Xander. "You'd like it and their uniforms are cute too."

"I'm sure they'll love staying there then," she agreed calmly.  "Are we putting the kids in this year?"

"We'd rather they started next year," the headmistress offered.  "Starting in the middle of the year can be stressful on children.  All the alliances are already formed."

"Our kids are a pack anyway," Xander reminded her. "They're already a working team."

"Good point."  She took another sip of her coffee.  "If you wanted, they could start this next term.  That's in four days."  Lupin straightened up.  "That's up to you however."

"It's solve a lot of problems for Lupin the Fourth if she had someone besides us who said she's good," Jigen noted quietly.

Lupin nodded.  "I agree.  We'll talk with the kids tonight and tell you tomorrow?"

"That's fine, Lupin.   Jigen, may we work on your daughter's fear?"

"Please," he agreed.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with the kidnaping," Xander said, looking at Jigen too.  He nodded, that made sense.  "The girls, well, they're kinda in an odd spot."

"Lotus explained it to me when I asked," she admitted.  "Was the kidnaping long ago?"

"A few years.  Ishi took his first life at that time," Xander said quietly.  She nodded.  "We've got him to the point where he has the choice to wound and usually takes it."

"I saw.  He's very good.  We all agreed on that," she said with a small smirk.  "All the children are wonderful.  There's just little points that need hammered down.  Lupin the Fourth is very loud.  Ishi has a temper if he doesn't learn to control it.  Lotus needs to make her decision.  Melissa needs to work on that fear of guns.  Otherwise, they're ready to start work on their own."

"We'd like for them to wait before fully working.  Have some kid moments still," Xander told her.

"Of course!" the headmistress agreed.  "They do need to loosen up sometimes.  Arsene sat in on the planning class and told the teacher how she'd do it, and he checked the drawing, which she said was wrong anyway.  Melissa had the plans already drawn up and hooked into the projector to send them up there, where Arsene got up to show her route, which she said she'd scoped out a few times.  The Louvre is very lax in their security."

"She was keeping in practice by going for after-hour visits," Lupin admitted dryly.  He poured himself some coffee.  "Thank you for making an exception."

"You're welcome.  They're going to be the ones who kick the other students in the ass with reality, Lupin.  Most of my students still see this as hypothetical until their first field exercise.  Your kids have field experience.  They may be leading teams on field excursions because they're so experienced."

"Even when we tried to stop them," Jigen noted dryly.

"Yes, Arsene asked that I not tell you her whole resume."  She smiled at Xander.  "I believe the decision will come down to you."

She nodded.  "It may, but I think it'd do them good to play with other kids sometimes.  Even if it is a vocationally-oriented school."   She smiled.  "Please teach Arsene to cook while you're at it or she'll die of fast food poisoning."

The Headmistress laughed.  "Of course, Sylvia.  I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow."  She nodded and left, heading back to her car.  These kids would be a credit to her academy.

Xander glanced around.  "Goemon?" she called.  He came over from the table he had been hiding at, taking the free seat.  "Do you have an objections?"

"Not in the least.  They will be able to be children there and the teachers do have things to teach them yet."

"Guys?" she asked.  They shrugged.  "Then we'll tell the kids tonight?"

"We could go find them now and tell them," Lupin offered.

"They wanted to go look at a museum," Goemon offered.  "They got away from me."

"I'll check the jails, you check the museum," Xander offered, finishing her coffee.  She put down money and wandered off, letting the guys do it however.

Jigen and Lupin finished off their coffees before started off to look for their problem children.  If they were in jail they were definitely going to go to school immediately.  Fortunately they were being trailed by the cops, but they hadn't been arrested yet.  It was easy enough to catch Melissa's eye and give her the sign.  They peeled off and Jigen called Xander, then headed for the car.  Ishi was the last to appear then they were off once he told them Lotus was shopping.

***

The man watching the open-air market was staring at a young woman up the pathway from him, then checking the photo in his hand.  "That's not her, it can't be," he muttered, moving closer.  The little girl wasn't unaware of him, he could tell she was scanning the crowd, but she wasn't reacting to him so she didn't know him and didn't know what sort of danger she was in.  He walked past her, glancing at her face.  Well, she looked like Goemon.  Maybe it was her?  He continued on, but was stopped by the sudden ache in his head, which made him scream and fall over clutching the sides of his skull.  It felt like his brain was going to explode soon.  "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lotus calmly walked through the crowd and found the nerves in his neck, knocking him out with a hard finger jab into them. Then she looked around.  "Someone should probably call the poor beast a doctor," she noted, going back to her shopping for herbs.  She saw a new person standing there, and nodded.  Somehow she knew he was the cause of the headache.  "You are?"

"From Athens."

"I've heard of your group.  I'm not joining. I'm not like that," she said calmly, staring up at his stormy grey eyes.  They were like thunderclouds and seemed to move like the winds were trying to banish them.  He smiled and held out a hand, so she shook it.  "Lotus."

"I know.  You're in danger.  Someone overheard your admission of where you put the dirty laundry and has decided to take it to the cleaners."  She stiffened, and took a forced deep breath.  "You are of an age to be used, Lotus Goemon.  Remember today and what he was going to do to you."  He brushed a hand across her brow, making her shiver at his cold touch.  "Do not fear me.  Fear him and his kind who would have you be a servant and a pawn."

"Over their dead bodies."

"Ah, but they don't know that.  Your mother never watched you with your brother."  He smirked and gave a slightly lop-sided bow/nod to the side move.  "Peace, sister.  Tell your other teacher that she does have the right to have one of us."  He touched her forehead again then moved away.

She stood there, calming herself down, then purchased what she wanted and headed for a cab.  She really wanted an adult around now.  She found an older looking man driving an open cab, like the bike cabs they had in Tokyo and bowed to him. "I am buying headache medicine for my mother.  How much to get back to our hotel?" she asked in Arabic.  Xander had taught her last year.

"Which hotel? You are fairly light."

"The Ambassador."

"You're a tourist?"

"My mother is native, we're visiting," she explained.  "We moved to France."

"Ah!"  He nodded.  "Ten dollars, American."

"That's fairly steep," she complained but handed it over willingly.  "Go straight there please.  Someone just tried to grope me."  He grimaced and nodded, taking off with her as quickly as he dared.   She was much too young for that sort of thing to happen to her.  She got out at the hotel and kissed him on the cheek before heading inside and right up to the desk.  "Sir, may I call my mother?" she asked once the driver was gone.  "I'm lost.  I thought she was in this hotel."

"Where is she?"

"Um," she dug out her key and held it up, and he smirked and nodded. "Please?"

"Of course.  Let me dial over there.  You can wait in the coffee shop if you want."

"No thank you.  I'd rather be where she could see me.  Someone just tried to approach me in the market."  He grimaced at that.  "Can I sit next to the fountain?"

"Go ahead, young lady."

"Thank you."  She skipped that way, sitting down to watch the fishies swim around and around, and sometime get sucked into the jets to be shot out and back down so they could change levels.

The concierge dialed the other hotel, having a quiet chat with the manager over there.  He'd tell the girls' parents and they'd better be there soon.  He hung up and it was less than ten minutes before a young man walked in.

"Lotus!"  She looked up and sighed, looking more relaxed.  "What the hell happened to you?"

"Some grungy guy came up and looked at me and tried to cop a feel," she complained.

"Did you kill him?"

"No, he had a sudden headache from someone else."

"Good.  Get your things and we'll go.  Uncle's outside in the car."  She gathered up everything, laying a protection on the fountain before she left, walking with her big brother.  "Here she is," he announced, glancing around.

"One of the guys from Athens saved my ass," she said as she got in, hugging Jigen.  "He said someone overheard where Mom is.  She's out, but she's trying to use me as a dealer's chip."

"Fuck if she's going to get a chance," Ishi promised.  "Go, Uncle Jigen."

"Fine.  I wanna hear more about this."

"I'll report when we get back there.  I'm just seriously creeped at the moment."  He nodded, driving off.  "I wonder if Mother can find out who that guy is."

"Maybe. She still has ties with them."

"They said she deserved one of her own."

"Interesting," Jigen agreed.  He pulled into the parking garage of their hotel and guarded the kids' back while they walked upstairs.  "No more going out alone for any of you," he ordered Arsene and Melissa.

"They don't want us, they wanted Lotus," Melissa noted. "Your mother?"

She flopped down, taking off the scarf that had been covering her hair.  "The way the story goes is this.  Creepy dude was staring, I felt him staring.  I scanned, caught sight of him without him catching me looking.  He walked past, glancing at a picture, saw my face.  He had a sudden and extreme headache.  I did a nerve pinch and knocked his skanky ass out.  I went back to the stall I had been at, and was introduced to the person who did it.  Who had the oddest gray eyes.  They were like thunder clouds.  They even seemed to shift some."

"I know him," Xander admitted.  "He's very fierce in some things, but fairly mercenary."

"Then he must think I'm worth a lot because he gave me a warning, touched my head with his really cold hand twice.  Warned me that someone had overheard where the bitch is and that she's trying to turn me into a dealer's chip and a pawn.  But that she didn't know what I was capable of.  His words were that she had never watched me with my brother.  Also, he said that Xander's now able to have a helper of her own from them."

Xander coughed something that sounded like 'too late', which made Lupin give her a long look.  She shrugged and grinned a dopey grin at him.  "We'll talk about that part later, Xander."  He looked at Lotus.  "Are you all right?"

"That guy barely grazed me with his hand, and the second guy had really cold hands when he touched my forehead.  I don't feel dirty or anything."

"That's good," Goemon agreed.  "From now on you go armed, daughter."

"Yes, father.  Thank you for giving me permission for what I was going to do anyway," she agreed, smirking at him.  "I think we've got bigger problems though."

"You'll be in school and safe," Ishi reminded her.  "We all will.  Not even she can take down the Assassin's Academy."

"Very good point," Lupin agreed. "I'll make sure the headmistress knows Fujiko's not allowed near you guys, no matter what."

"Thanks, Uncle Lupin."  Lotus got up and hugged him, earning a squeeze.  Then she went to hug her father.  "I wish you had feelings for someone nicer, someone like Ishi's lady or Bix, father.  You deserve better than the egg donor."  She took her herbs into her room, going to put them up in her things before running a long, hot bath to relax in.  She needed it now.  Besides, they were going to be planning and she didn't need to be in the way for that.

Ishi waited until the door closed before looking at the adults.  "I want this person dead," he announced.  "Even if I have to do it."

"Son, I realize and share your temper and it's reasons.  It is reasonable and just.  It is not doable at this time. Not until we find the root of the problem that your maternal unit is feeding off from."

"If we could find the guy, we could ask him," Jigen offered.

"If he's got a mind left," Xander pointed out calmly.  "Ishi, sit.  You can't have him without me and your dad there at least."  He pouted but he did sit next to her.  "Okay.  Who has contacts?"  Lupin and Goemon both raised their hands. "Good.  I'm calling Athens."  The guys looked at her.  "It's another route to the same source.  Maybe the guy who wiped him learned something more."  She stood up and went to find her laptop, using the camera on it. She never used a phone anymore, they were too insecure.  By the time she had it set up, Ishi was beside her watching what she was doing.  "You'll learn this in school, son."

"Of course.  You're still more comforting than Lupin and Jigen. Lupin's about ready to hop around in anger."   He smiled at the person on the other side of the connection.  "Hi."

Xander looked then smirked.  "Morning.  Where's Tomas?"

"He's there."

"I need to know what he found out when he wiped that idiot going after my stepdaughter."

"He didn't wipe him, Xander.  He didn't want to expose Lotus to that level of fear and anger.  He only gave him a great migraine whenever he thinks about her."

"Did he find out who sent him?"

"Hmm.  I'll ask, hold on."   In the background you could hear him yelling for Tomas.  He came back a moment later.  "A swamp monster he said."  He shrugged.  "I do not pretend to understand.  I'm a teacher of reactions and laws in science, not a telepath."

"Hmm.  Swamp monster?  It's a start," Xander agreed.

"Tell him that I owe him for protecting my daughter," Goemon said from the doorway.

"I will hold him to that," the teacher of physics agreed, before signing off.

Xander stood up and headed into the living room.  "Tomas, the guy who caused the headache, said he got a swamp monster image from the guy for his boss."

"So it's Gambit?" Lupin teased.

"Or Swamp Thing," Xander agreed lightly, smirking at him.  "Or a big Crocodile guy."

"I didn't think he was part of the underworld," Jigen noted.

"Oh, please," Melissa sighed.  "How about that idiot who likes to feed his pets with people?"

"I think that was a Bond movie, dear," Arsene said, patting her on the hand.  "Could he be from a swamp?  Maybe Cajun or something?  Or maybe he just acts like it or he wear a lot of croc leather stuff?"

"Hmm, Pierson," Jigen said grimly.  Lupin and Xander both looked at him, making him flinch at the look in their eyes.  "He's perfect for what Fujiko would want, which is to make us suffer.  He'd love little Lotus blossom."

"She hates it when you call her that," Arsene reminded him.  "She says she's not a delicate flower and she's not the symbol of reincarnation."

Jigen swatted her.  "Fine, ferret girl."  She beamed at him.  "Where is your baby?"

"Fred demanded to keep her.  Bix agreed and she'll send it when she's tired of feeding her."

"As long as someone is," Lupin said, smirking at his daughter.  "Don't like carrying a pet around?"

"Yes, I do.  Fred just wouldn't let go of him and he was going to hurt him so I left him there for a few days.  I'm more than willing to take one of the cats instead.  That would calm down Uncle Jigen for a while too."

"No traveling with cats," Goemon reminded her.  "You can't hide a cat under your baseball cap the way yo do your ferret."

"Fine.  Spoil my fun."  She looked at the adults. "Should we ask who it might be?"

"No, that'll let someone know that we know.  We'd rather blindside them," Lupin assured his baby girl.  "Melissa, any ideas?"

"If it's not Pierson, it may be Couplerson or whatever his name is.  He about lives in a swamp.  Keeps gators or crocs, can't remember which.  He's also the guy who asked if Arsene wanted to become his *personal* assistant one day during a chat on your boards, Uncle Lupin.  Emphasis and highlighting on personal.   When someone else on the board reminded him that, at that time, she was eight, he said it didn't matter to him.  It'd give him enough time to train her properly.  Unless Goemon was already."

"I sent someone to blow up his house for suggesting Goemon touches you kids," Xander said casually.  Everyone stared at her.  "He deserved it."  She looked at her daughters.  "He is still alive however.  He just switched to his backup house in Italy somewhere."

"Beaches?" Lupin asked.  She shook her head.  "Near the Academy?"

"A few hours drive away, he's in the top, up near the Swiss border."  Xander shifted in her seat.  "Hey, Lupin, since you're pacing, get me a soda?"  He smirked but got it for her.  "Thanks."  She blew a kiss.  "If it's him, I want to hurt him for real this time.  Last time I had the person wake him and give him a message, leaving a ticking bomb next to his bed with him tied on it.  Unfortunately he got out."

"You know, I used to wonder why people thought you were the scarier person, Mom, now I know," Melissa said in awe.  She got grinned at for it.

"Is that why everyone thinks that you're actually leading the family?" Arsene asked.

"Mostly it's you guys," she reminded her stepdaughter.  "They don't often see you doing training with your father, they see you training with me and Goemon, and they see me nagging him sometimes so they think that."  She popped open the bottle and took a sip.  "Hmm, sweet.  I keep forgetting that."  She took another drink.  It was caffeine and she was already too warm for coffee.  "We need to trace that guy back to see which one he works for or if there's a new player."

"I'll ask some of my local contacts," Lupin agreed, heading for the phone.  He looked outside, grimacing at the person standing there.  "Didn't the convention buddy say he was refusing to go to any more Islamic countries that had sand after his last case in Iran?"

"Yeah, why?" Jigen asked.

"He's downstairs staring up at our window."

"Huh.  Maybe we shouldn't have hung him off the bridge and painted pretty things on his back," Xander said before taking another sip.  "Arsene, plan twelve.  We'll tie him up in here."

"Sure, mom," she agreed with a wicked smirk.  She and Melissa headed out together with Ishi casually trailing them.

"Plan twelve?" Jigen asked.

"Arsene will lead, Melissa will hypo and knock him out, and Ishi will tie him up, then they'll carry him back up here, tie him to a chair, and we'll deal with him while we plan.  He can babysit Lotus if we have to leave for a few hours."  She smiled as her girls walked in, letting Ishi carry the heavier person.  Melissa got a semi-comfy straight-backed chair and tied him to it, letting her father watch.  Jigen gave a tug on the ropes, then hugged her.  "Good job, kids.  You deserve a treat."

"I deserve ice cream?" Arsene asked with a bright grin.

"If you can find some," Xander agreed.  "As long as you don't leave the hotel and all three of you go together."

"Yes, mom," they agreed, frisking Lupin as a group to take money off him and leaving in a whirlwind.

"Just think, they're barely teenagers and don't like to shop yet," Jigen said dryly as Lupin patted himself down.  "Missing more than your wallet, man?"  He lit another cigarette and puffed contentedly.

"Yeah, I am.  How did she do that?"  Xander and Jigen both gave him odd looks.  "One of them snatched my thong off by snapping it.  I can feel the bruise where it snapped.  They also got my watch and my sunglasses, plus my passport."

Xander snickered.  "Yeah, we taught the kids very well."  Ray started to moan so everyone paused while he woke up.  "Morning, baby boy," she said lightly, smirking at him.  "We'd let you go, but you got here at just the wrong moment.  Someone tried to pick up Lotus in the market to hurt her.  Sorry.  So get comfy, we'll let you up regularly to use the potty and all that good stuff.  Maybe Ishi'll be nice and bring you back some ice cream.  Want a soda?"

"No," he said bitterly.  "You can't keep me hostage.  They won't negotiate for me."

"Who says we want to?" Jigen asked.  "We just don't want to have to deal with you while we figure out who it was that wanted Lotus grabbed and used as a sex toy."

Ray slumped.  "Fine.  That's more important."

"Hey, we won't tell you anything that you can't overhear," Lupin promised.  "Maybe it'll help you later.  We like you, or else you'd be dead.  Remember that."

"You show it odd ways.  Who was it that hung me off that bridge?"  Xander raised her hand so he gave her a hurt look. "How could you?"

"Easy.  I was only picking on you.   We could have done many horrible things to you instead.  We probably should have.  You know very well if you were any other cop you'd be in deep shit and wouldn't have survived the last few years."

"Good point," he agreed miserably.

"Think about it as a way to study the best of the best," Lupin said with a shrug. "I'll call my local contact."  He grabbed the phone and dialed, looking at Ray.  "Pops coming too?"

"He's in the hospital thanks to you two.  The other Ray is up there too but he's fairly injured.  Dawn just gave birth to a little girl."

"Good," Xander said happily.  "Another person to drive her nuts."

Ray did snicker at that.  "I heard about her birth.  She kicked a doctor and made him pass out.  She swore so much the nurses had to give her drugs to keep her from teaching the kids down the ER some new words.  She was a bad patient this time."

"Eh, when I had Fred and Sarah, it was almost as bad," Xander noted.  "Kids hurt to have.  They're big and they're coming out of little holes."  Lupin hung up and shook his head.  "He's a freelance?"

"Yeah.  Totally freelance.  He accepts blind orders too.  Likes to pick up people."

"Well, this time he picked up the wrong person," Xander said sweetly.  "Any chance he'd know?"

"No," Lupin said.  "He likes blind orders."

"Then we've got to ask the bulletin boards," Jigen decided.

"We can put it subtly.  That Lotus noticed someone watching her who had a picture in his hand," Xander offered.  "We'd like to meet the person with such an interest in one of our kids."  She smiled sweetly.  "Or I would."

"We'll flip you for it," Lupin assured her, taking Melissa's laptop to log on and ask what he needed to ask.  He got a few answers of 'oh, shit, am hiding now' that made him smirk and one tentative question about the guy with the headache.  "Okay, here's the story I'm laying," he announced as he typed.  "The guy with the headache may or may not be the only person but a friend of Lavelle's warned her just after she knocked that guy out that she was being watched. She thought she saw her picture in headache guy's hand.  We need to know who he's working for, how many more there are, and what they wanted her for."

"Good idea," Ray agreed. Everyone looked at him.  "That'll get more information without exposing her skills if they don't already know.  We have to think like that when we're guarding people."

"Good point," Xander agreed, shrugging at Jigen's look. "He's right.  Think about bodyguarding for a minute."

"Hmm."

Arsene stuck her head in the room.  "Hey, Dad, if you'd sign something for me I could make some major cash from it.  There's a woman who wants your panties really badly."

Her father looked over at her, then groaned and shook his head, going back to his typing.  "Forget it, daughter."

Xander sat down next to him, hugging him around the arm.  "Hey, it shows that you're still the prince at stealing hearts."  He flashed a grin at her.  "Honey, can't your forge your dad's signature by now?"

"Well, yeah, but she's got other signed stuff and she wanted to see him sign it."

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  "Let Xander do the boards, Lupin.  That way you can go be naughty without making Xan pissed."

"Fine."  He kissed Xander then walked his daughter down the stairs, kissing the woman she pointed out until she nearly swooned, then signing them for her.  He headed back up once he got a drink from the small bar, going back to see if anyone knew anything yet.  He found Xander typing into her own chat room, reading over her shoulder.  "Tell Homer I said hi."

"Already did."  She paused, reading a new message.  "Hey, Lupin, are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"They weren't sure that her lipstick wasn't knockout formula," she said with a shrug, typing in that he was still fine, so far. The kids trooped in and she took the bowl Ishi held out with an absent grin.  "Get something for Ray?"

"Yup, he's got some cheese sticks coming up," Arsene admitted.  She sat down to read over her mother's shoulder, stealing a finger of ice cream.  Xander quickly finished it so her daughter wouldn't snatch it from her hands, making both Lupins and Ishi grin at that move.  "Who's down there?  I didn't see anybody."

"Peter."

"Who's he?" Melissa asked.  "I've never met him."

Xander typed in something and got a laugh as an answer.  "I'll introduce you later when I go down to meet him for dinner."  She typed in something else, then switched back to Lupin's, typing in a sorry, had to chat with some of her people.  Someone gave her a virtual awed look so she responded with a cheek pinch and the guys told her everything she needed to know.  She typed in her thanks, logged out of her chat room, then gave the laptop back to Lupin.  "Here you go."  She headed into Lotus' bathroom, tapping first.  "Baby girl, I've got to go out tonight with a few guys.  I do not want you to worry about this, we're handling it for you."  She looked up and smiled.  So Xander leaned down to kiss her on the head.  "Good girl.  You rest and relax.  Gather your strength.  You guys start school in four days."  She strolled out to her bags, pulling out something for dinner, and something for later.  By the time she was ready, it was nearly time so she pulled a scarf over her hair and headed out, only stopping to kiss her men silly on the way through. "Ishi, stay, guard the other girls in case."  She palmed the key and strolled out, heading down the stairs.  She heard little feet running and smiled at her girls.  "You're supposed to have your heads covered."

Melissa pulled out two scarves so the girls could cover their hair, then they walked downstairs with her.   Xander found her target at the salad bar and smiled at him, going to the seat he pointed out.  He walked over with a bright smile.  "Girls, this is Peter.  He's a guy I do a lot of work through.  Peter, this is Arsene, Lupin the Fourth, and Melissa, my daughter with Jigen."

He shook their hands, smiling at them.  "Good evening, ladies. Are you helping tonight?" he asked in the most charming Aussie accent.

"They're not allowed.  They're our final position on Lotus tonight.  They just had to meet you though," she admitted with a grin for him.  "They're starting the Academy in Italy in four days."

"Congrats, ladies.  That's very good work.  Most of the kids there don't really have a clue until they're sixteen and you're what?  Thirteen?  Hell, that plan of yours last year at the Royalty Ball was inspired."

"Almost," Melissa admitted, blushing slightly.  "Thank you for that compliment."

He beamed at her.  "I'm a safe guy to have a crush on, ducks, I don't go for little girls.  I like my women older than me."  He winked at Xander, who snorted and kicked him under the table.  "Aww, now, when're you gonna dump your man for me, love?"

"When shit flies without help."

"Hmph.  Bet you could do that if you wanted," he teased.

"Probably.  But wouldn't that be help?" she taunted back.

Arsene swallowed, then looked at Melissa.  "Mom, are you sure you don't need our help tonight?"  She didn't want to leave her mother with this guy.  She was flirting with him and it was wrong!  She should only flirt with their fathers!  "We're still very good."

"No, dear.  I want you two guarding Lotus.  No matter what.  Just in case."

"Yes, mom," Melissa agreed, kissing her on the cheek.  "It was nice meeting you, Peter.  I hope to work with you myself when we've graduated from our training."  She shook his hand and nudged Arsene, who did the same, then they headed back up the stairs.  "Do you feel odd leaving them together?" she hissed once they were on the stairs.

Arsene scowled, looking every bit like her father, or her Uncle Goemon when he was scowling at his students.  "He's flirting with Mom and making her giggle like one of us.  Hell yes I feel odd about it.  Old friends or not."

"Then should we tell the dads?"

"We can't do that until after he helps mom, otherwise one of our fathers might kill him."  They walked into their suite and went to sit next to their fathers, curling up.

"Hmm, looks like Xander's helper tonight is charming, suave, and disturbing in some way," Goemon noted dryly.

"He was making mom giggle and he flirted," Arsene told him.

"But you can't kill him until after he helps Mom," Melissa reminded her dad before he could move.

He hugged her.  "I know Peter, sweetheart.  He's a nice guy who only likes older ladies.  He likes rich, older ladies who he can screw to death.  Your mom's not quite that old yet."

Arsene relaxed.  "Okay, that's good to know.  He flirted with us too."

"Peter is who?" Lupin asked calmly.

"That Australian guy we saw her with the last time."

"He's not wearing that Athens' mark like the people usually do," Melissa pointed out.

"No, he's not.  He's a hitter.  Old school lech but he's not after Xander.  He was at the Ball, Lupin.  Saw the girls in action."

"He said I had an excellent plan," Melissa offered with a light blush.

"He also said you could crush on him all you wanted because you were too young," Arsene reminded her smugly.  Melissa picked up a bottle of soda and pitched it at her, hitting her on the head. "Ow!  Shrew!"

"Girls," Goemon said quietly, making them stop.  "I doubt he would ever touch Xander, Lupin."

"No, I have no doubt of that either.  She said shit would have to fly without help before she left you for him, daddy."

Lupin nodded, typing a question into the chatroom he was in, getting all the information he wanted on that guy downstairs.  "That's a good thing to know, princess.  Any idea what the plan is for tonight?"

"Mom said we're the last defense for Lotus," Melissa offered.  "I think she's going out."

"She must be.  She pulled out that whole outfit, the one with the eyeslits only to show skin," Arsene agreed.  She looked around.  "Where's Ishi?"

"Probably with her," Lupin said dryly.  "He likes to follow her around."

"Hopefully she takes him into account," Lotus said from her doorway.  "There's no plan yet?"

"Xan's out getting something," Ray told her.  "Meeting with some hustler named Peter."

"Hmm, I think I know him.  I danced with him at the Royalty Ball."  She came out and curled up next to her father.  "When did you get here, Uncle Ray?"

"When your cohorts snatched me and tied me up here."

"Melissa did the knots," Jigen said proudly.

"They're good too," Ray agreed.  "If you wanted to, Melissa, you could join our team."

"Then I'd still have to break and enter for fun, Uncle Ray.  Sorry, my path lies in keeping Lupin the Fourth on the straight-enough and narrow path to fame."  Arsene snickered.  "Otherwise there's no telling what she'd get into."

"I still wanna go see Area 51's archives," Arsene told her.  "I think it'd be pretty neat."

Her father patted her on the head.  "When you're old enough," he promised, pulling her closer for a hug and a cuddle.  "That can be your graduation test."

"Cool."

Lotus snickered from her father's side.  "I don't think the rest of us want to go there.  Maybe the space museum?"

"But I wanna see the aliens," Arsene whined.

"If there's any there," Melissa reminded her.

"It's fairly arrogant to decide that we're the only intelligent beings in the universe, no matter what religions say," Arsene retorted.  "There's got to be other intelligent life out there and they've got to be looking at most of the humans on this planet and hoping that they'd find real intelligence soon.  Or at least taste and sense.  I mean, seriously!  What sort of person decorates in both zebra hides and leopard skins in the same room?"

"Um, that place we visited last month?" Melissa reminded her.

"Yes, and I got a *major* fashion headache from it," Arsene reminded her with a smirk.  "It was right of us to fix his room for him."

"So five queer men have nothing on you, dear?" Lupin asked, smirking down at his daughter.

"Oops.  You hadn't heard about that one, daddy?"

He shook his head. "No, but now that you've spilled it, do tell us about the makeover you did, dear."

Goemon looked at his daughter.  "Did you treat the remains with respect?"

"Of course, father.  I'm the one who packed them up and put them into the closet.  We left him some throw pillows and things."

He patted her on the head.  "Thank you.  It is good that you respect remains."

Jigen looked at his daughter, then poked her.  "Where?"

"Um, Amsterdam.  We did a weekend off of school."

"Gee, you don't look sixteen," Jigen said dryly.

"We didn't steal!  We only redecorated.  We got caught up in fixing the fashion tragedy."

"And I believe that too," Lupin said smugly.  "What was it?"

"Pretty ruby jewelry?" she offered hesitantly.  He gave her a long look.  "Okay, so it was a lot of pretty ruby jewelry and a few jade pieces.  Mostly ruby stuff.  There's a really neat band that Lotus has for the end of her braid."

Goemon looked at his daughter, who held up the end of her present braid to show him.  He shook his head and kissed her on the forehead.  "You are very good, daughter, but you should not flaunt such things."

"They're not custom, we checked first, Uncle Goemon," Melissa offered.  "They're commercially available.  No one but Uncle Ray knows that we didn't buy them."  Ray pretended to snore.  "Won't work, you're not that loud," she pointed out.

"That's okay, there's no proof we did it but that," Arsene offered, smirking at Ray. "And if he ever turns us in for what he hears here, then we'll know where it came from and we'll not only take away his raise and hazard pay, but we'll also make sure his life's a living hell for the short time he has left.  Auntie EmmaJean's applying right now, Uncle Ray."  He swallowed, he remembered her.  "And you're with Bix."

"She'd like the other Ray better anyway," he pointed out.  "He's less soft.  She always said I wasn't hard enough on some cases."

"Sure.  We'll even help you with that and not tell Auntie Bix, Uncle Ray.  We might even be nice enough to set you up in front of a video chat," Melissa agreed.  "But if you tell on us then we'll only get in trouble with Mom.  Gramps won't find us.  He can't catch us.  We're faster and we'll make it so he has to stay home and be a full-time daddy if he tries.  Ishi's already volunteered."  Goemon looked at her.  "He has.  Nothing fatal...just painful, each and every day sort of painful."

"He already has arthritis," Lupin warned.

"Yeah, and he's gonna hate it when Ishi takes out one of his knees for him, and then cracks a vertebrae so he can't chase after us.  Doing so correctly is hard, but not that hard."  She looked at her 'Uncle'.  "He couldn't chase us then, right?"  Ray shook his head quickly.  "See, and it would make the doctors replace the creaky knee that pops each time he stands up.  Which would probably help him in the long run.  A mixed blessing as they say."

"I do not like my son's idea," Goemon butted in.

"Talk to your son.  I was all for taking one of those new pen lasers and taking out one of his hamstrings," Melissa offered.  "He may not ever be in running shape again.  He'll be on desk duty or retirement."

"That's mean to a guy like him," Jigen said, stroking down her back.  "He lives for his job and taking that away from him will kill his spirit."

"Better his spirit than dying on the job," Arsene pointed out.  "We've been pulling our punches with them, Uncle Jigen.  I nearly shot him the last time because he startled me."

"Jishad House?" Ray asked.  She nodded. "He knows.  He said to thank you for not shooting him point blank in the chest, and sent up a very large prayer that he was wearing his vest that day.  Though the doctor said that if the bullet had went through it would have missed everything vital.  It may have hit a loop of intestine but nothing near a vein or something he can't have cut out if necessary."

Lupin the Third gave his daughter an awed look.  "I'm not sure if I should spank you for shooting him anyway or hug you for being such a good shot," he said in shock.

"Shooting him was reflex.  We were being shot at by the owner of the house, who had it on automatic for anything bigger than his cat, and his cat got shot too.   We got it disabled before going more than three steps into the house, but the poor pussy got it before then.  We were jumpy and he appeared in the safe room.  I reacted, dad.  I'm sorry."

"No, it's good that your reactions went for incapacitation once you realized who you were shooting at," Jigen offered.  "That means that the training's fully took.  You can't and won't indiscriminately shoot at people.  What were you three after?"

"Some maps," Melissa told him.  "Nothing of wonderful value."  Lupin the Third and Fourth both looked at her with a grimace.  "Sorry, they're treasure maps," she sighed.

Lupin the Fourth grinned at her.  "I figured it'd be the first thing we did on our first summer break."

Lupin the Third pulled his daughter into his lap, giving her the tightest hug he could.  "You are so much my heir," he said in her ear.  "I love you, baby."

"Me too, daddy, but you're going to crush my lungs."  He laughed and let her go slightly, but was still holding her.

Goemon looked at his daughter.  "Were you there?"

"No, I was doing my homework for chemistry.  I was back at the hotel guarding the rendevous point."

"That's even better," he agreed, giving her a rare smile and a pat on the back.  "I do not want you harmed by their antics."

"Dad, I trained with them, we're a team," she reminded him gently.  "I'll be fine even if I do bounce back and forth all the time."  She gave him a hug, then looked at Melissa.  "I still need to find a non-flawed ruby for that summoning spell.  Just in case."

"There's two in the safe," Lupin offered.

"I checked, dad, they've got small flaws on an outer edge and she needs something either oval or fully spherical."

"Hmm.  I know of one," Jigen told them.  "It's in Istanbul though."

"I thought about that one but it's got massive security," Arsene told him.  "We checked it out via hacking into their system.  Speaking of which, dad, I spent all my allowance on my hacker buddy's fee of a hooker and a bottle of chocolate sauce.  Can I have some more?"

He snickered, giving her a squeeze.  "Sure, daughter.  You can have some more.  If you asked, we do have hackers that owe us favors."

"That's cool, but he was in school with us and Ishi wouldn't bend over and take it from him.  It wasn't that hard to find him a newbie by bribing another student he liked with two hundred bucks and help in Math and English.  We even got to tape it."

"It was very interesting," Lotus agreed calmly.  "I still don't understand why anyone would make those sort of noises though."

"You'll find out some day," her father reminded her.  "Hopefully with someone who means enough to you to marry, but at least with someone who means something to you."

"Yes, daddy.  You know I'm not going to go clubbing and grab the closest dick at hand to have him in the bathroom."  Her father squeaked and blushed bright red.  "Sorry, dad, didn't meant to embarrass you."  She hugged his side again, allowing him time to calm back down.

"You are not like that," he agreed quietly.  "I must remember that.  Even when you start to date, you will not be out playing around like your uncle."

"Maybe you should meditate on that thought, father, learn it by heart?" his daughter teased, grinning up at him.  "I do have taste and I'm very picky."

"I did not need to know that much, daughter.  I would rather only meet the boys you are serious about so I can threaten them.  I'll leave the others to your brother."  She giggled and hugged him again.  "Thank you, dear.  Perhaps we should meditate on the subject of you growing up."

"Hey, Goemon, remember, she's not her mother," Jigen offered dryly.

"True, she is not Fujiko," he agreed. "Another good thought to keep in mind," he noted calmly, getting up to sit on their small balcony to meditate in the sunshine.  It was time he came to grips with his daughter getting older.  She had breasts.  She had her womanly cycle.  She was going to need a bra soon by what was rubbing against his arm.  He got up and went back inside, whispering in Lupin's ear, then went back outside.

Lupin winced and looked at Jigen.  "It was just suggested that we'll have to take the girls' underwear shopping before they go to school."

"There's no way I'm going into Victoria's Secret," Jigen said firmly.  "I won't do it for Xander and I'm not doing it with my baby girl."

"Daddy, I need a bra," Melissa told him calmly, patting him on the hand.  "We have to go sometime soon or gravity will hit them and make them bigger."

"Too late on Lotus'," Arsene said dryly.

Lotus blushed.  "My mother had the rack of an elk, it's not my fault."  She crossed her arms over her chest.  "When's Mom getting back?  I don't want to discuss this with you guys."

"Xan'll be back later," Lupin said calmly.  "There's no way in hell I'm taking you three bra shopping.  I'd have to drink myself into a coma that night."   His daughter snickered.  "I'd do it if you were guys, but I can't handle first bra shopping.  The only time I go with Xander, we end up having sex in the shop.  I won't be doing that with you and it'll bring up icky memories."

"That's okay, mom was shopping the other day and the saleswoman asked if she needed to see the special undergarments for those who were recently circumcised," Arsene said with a shudder, burrowing back into the protective arms.

"Mom was very calm when she told her that her daughters would not be tortured that way and that she didn't believe in it.  The saleswoman didn't seem to be phased by it, she just shrugged and said to yell if they needed any help," Melissa added.  "I had to look that up.  I didn't know women could be tortured like that."

Jigen gave her a squeeze.  "You'll never be done that way, daughter, or I'll kill someone horribly," he promised. "Even if I have to come back from the dead to do it."  She relaxed and nodded against his chest.  "Good girl.  Lotus, you want one?"

"No, I'm okay.  I would kill whoever was trying, and if not then Ishi would.  He said so.  He said only he gets to make me miserable."

"Then you're going to be a very young widow," Arsene taunted.

"Bet me.  If and when I get married he'll be far away from any marital spats."  She got up and went to sit next to Lupin since he was on the bigger sitting surface.  "Uncle Lupin, what're we going to be bringing with us?"

"Whatever you want," he promised. "There's no uniform, though most people do seem to wear black and grey exclusively."

"Should I bring some formal clothes?"

"You could," he suggested.   "We had dinners in my time; the other kids needed to learn social graces."  He patted her on the back of the head.  "Bring a few kimonos if you want and some other comfy clothes."

"We need to go back to the main house to pack some stuff then," Arsene offered.  "I only brought working clothes."

"That's fine, maybe Lotus can pop each of you home at a time," Jigen offered.

Lotus shrugged.  "Maybe.  Not yet though."

"We'll run you home before we take you there if possible," Lupin promised.  "If not, I'll take you regular clothes shopping."

"We do have to go through most of Italy," Jigen pointed out.

"Hmm, Italian lingerie," Melissa said, sounding happy with the idea.

"I'm still not walking into a lingerie store," Jigen said firmly.  "Especially not with you girls."

"Fine, we'll have to go on our own," Arsene said smugly.  "Imagine what we'll find then."

"You'd better not take after your mother and seduce the salespeople," her father said darkly.

"Dad, I'm not quite that old yet," she pointed out dryly.

"I wonder what Ishi's doing," Lotus sighed.  "He always gets to do the fun things."

"Hey, for summer break, we should go back to Disney," Arsene said with a smirk.  "It'll be great fun," she whined at the groans.  "Just think of all the fun we can have."

"The rest of us still have flashbacks from the last trip," Jigen said quietly, looking at his little girl. "You know that was his fault, right?"

"Of course, daddy.  You'd never sleep around on mom without her permission.  She'd kill you horribly and cackle while she peed on your remains."

He patted her on the back.  "You're probably right."

Lupin checked his bulletin board, typing in a message to see if anyone was watching his girl at dinner.  He got back the simple message of 'we lost them' and grimaced.  "They snuck off without anyone seeing where they went.  No one saw Ishi at all."

"Peter knows he's not going to be able to touch her," Ray pointed out firmly.  "She's not gonna cheat on you two."

"Actually, she told the fathers that they could cheat, but only if they got permission," Arsene told him.  "Otherwise she was going to practice her chopping skills she got from her cooking lessons off Food Network."

"Watching Iron Chef is very interesting," Lotus agreed.  "Hopefully someone will take our cooking lessons into hand at the school."

"Xan made sure of it," Ray told her.  Everyone gaped at him so he smirked.  "What?  You think you're the only one with contacts?  She said you're going to have some kid moments, some classes, and told the headmistress to teach Arsene how to cook before she got fast food poisoning."

"She did," Lupin agreed with some appreciation for his opponent.  Ray smirked at him.

"Just remember, Uncle Ray.  While we're in school, they're going to be free to roam anywhere they want."

"Hmm-uh," Jigen agreed smugly, smirking at Arsene.  "And we'll get to do all sorts of things that you can only dream of."

"As long as it's not getting shot, I'll accept that and do one better when I'm older," she shot back.  "Just don't die and everything will be fine."

"Maybe Mom'll name the other two her heirs for the estate," Melissa offered.

"Estate?" Ray asked.

"A few years back, some woman in England offered her estate to whoever could give her orgasms.  Mom, who was a guy back then, gave her so many she died in bed between bouts.  So she's technically a Lady and needs an heir."

"You know, if we piss her off, that's probably where she'll be," Lupin told Jigen, who grunted in annoyance.  "At least we can find her there.  Not like the time she ended up back in Imperial Japan."

"I think that's her fallback position, Uncle.  We'll all go be society brats until we're eighteen then she'll lead us on our first job and let us go free while she goes back to retirement with whoever's left and the younger kids," Melissa offered.

"Interesting," Ray said quietly, considering it.  "If none of you had warrants, she could probably do that.  Then again, knowing her we'd never find her house."

"Gramps knows where it is, he tried to raid there when we came back," Arsene offered.  "I'm not sure if he got to keep that knowledge or not," she admitted at his happy look, having to burst that bubble.  "Besides, the kitsune use the portal in the house more often than any of us use it."

"We'll figure that out after you're in school," Lupin promised.  The laptop beeped so he picked it up to look at the new message, frowning.  "Hmm.  Xander was spotted going into a strange house.   She's in full gear, so they might know who she is, but they're in for it.  I don't know that family.  Hamid Rahjons, Jigen?"

"Hmm.  Not a clue," he admitted.  "Doesn't ring a bell at all."

"He's a local cop," Ray said quietly, staring at Lupin.  "Getting outside help?" he suggested.

"Oh, probably not," Melissa said with a glare toward the door.  "Hmm.  I'm sure we can do something with that."  She looked at her Lupin.  "Try for it," she suggested.

Arsene took the laptop and logged into a little-used chatroom on her mother's webpage, watching as more people appeared suddenly.  She typed in a query, then forced herself to stay calm.  "Yeah, he's part of that.  Someone thinks they saw Fujiko there," she announced.  She looked up as her father started to move, pushing him back down.  "You can't, father.  He's one of the bigshots in the local law enforcement industry.  Let mom since she's already there with Peter."

"Sick people like that deserve whatever we can give them," Goemon reminded her.

"Yeah, but they're having a police ball tonight," Arsene told him.  The fathers stared at her.  "She's going to try a True Lies move, dad."

"She'll never pass for Arabic," Jigen noted.  Lupin gave him a long look.  "She's not exactly the effeminate little submissive woman, Lupin.  If someone says something to her there she'll probably talk back to them."

"She'll be fine," Lupin reminded him.  "She's done it before."  Jigen groaned and shifted some, shaking his head.  "Not exactly as this role but she's damn good at them."  He looked at his computer, watching for updates.  "Hmm.  There was a fire up the street.  I wonder why."

"Are they breaking up?" Ray asked.

"No," Lupin said absently, typing again.  His daughter took the laptop and wrote a message, stunning a few of the crooks.  "Daughter," he said patiently.

"What?  I want to know where Ishi is.  He's my crew, dad."

"That's fine, but that'll get him more noticed."

"Dad, no one's seen him yet.  Can you imagine Ishi really *disappearing*?" she asked.  He grimaced, then shook his head.  "Then where would he be?  Could this plan extend to him as well?"

"No," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "She knows Ishi's well trained."

"No, she knows he's in *training*," Melissa reminded him.  "She's never watched either of them train before."  He looked stunned.  "If she's out to get Lotus, that's one thing.  If she's out to get Goemon, then that's another.  His daughter is precious to him but Ishi is the first born son."

Lupin growled, looking at Jigen, who nodded.  "She knows he's somewhat trained.  That means that he's a harder target," Lupin reminded her.

"Dad, if they think he's just a little kid with some training then they may try for him," Arsene said gently.  "No one really believes any of us are that well trained.  Let's face it, most everyone thinks that you're still doing field training with us, not that we've pulled our own stuff yet.  Almost no one knows that...unless they were listening during our interviews for the Academy."

"No one but the teachers and Uncle Goemon were allowed to watch," Melissa agreed.

"We had a source of information but then again they knew that we knew," Ray offered from his spot.  "Can I go to the bathroom?"

"Sure," Jigen agreed, nudging his daughter to untie him and take him in there.  She grimaced and he snickered.  "He's your hostage. You've got to take care of him."

"Good point.  I'm not watching you pee but if you fuck up, I'm feeding Arsene chocolate and setting her onto your ass," she warned, coming over to untie him.  She walked him back to Lotus' room to use the bathroom.  There wasn't a fire escape in that room.  If he got past her he'd have to deal with all the adults.  He patted her on the head and she kicked him on the shin.  "I'm not a puppy, don't pat me on the head like I am," she complained.

"Sure," he agreed, grinning at her.  "You're good, kid, but not all there yet.  You do realize I can knock you out?"

"If you do, there's no fire escape from this room so you'd have to get past the rest of them to get out of this suite," she said coolly.  "And yes, I am all that."  She pulled a remote out of her pocket and held it up with a smirk, then pushed the button, snickering when he flinched.  "Do we get it now, Uncle Ray?  I'm not the nice one, that's actually Lotus."

"Fine," he grumbled, closing the door so he could do whatever he needed to in private.  He checked himself but he didn't have any of his gear on him.  They had left him a pack of gum but nothing else, and there was a piece missing.   "Damn they're good," he complained quietly, hurrying up before she zapped him again.  That had hurt!  He used his free hand to pat that spot, trying to pull off whatever she had stuck on his skin.  He found a small lump and groaned.  She had injected it into his shoulder.  Fine, he could behave for now.  It would give him a lot of time to study the group and the kids.  He finished up and flushed, then washed his hands and dried them off before opening the door.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome."  She walked him back out to his chair, tying him up again. Then she went back to cuddling her father.  "He was very good."

"Good," Jigen said, smiling at him.  "Why?"

"Because I planted a zappy thing on his shoulder," she said sweetly, smirking up at him.  "That way he won't be upsetting me."

"Hey, um, 'Lis?" Arsene asked.  "Would you like me to go get you some chocolate and tampons maybe?" she offered gently, trying to be nice.  Melissa scowled at her so she quickly backpedaled.  "Sorry, just wondering if it was an immediate need or not.  You seem kinda violent today, that's all I was thinking," she said quickly, nodding to show how serious she was.

Jigen nudged his daughter.  "You've got to let us know if you need stuff like that, Melissa."

"Oh, please!" she sighed.  "A woman can be cranky without having PMS!"

"Sure," Lotus agreed.  "But you're not usually one of them, Melissa.  Arsene, since you should probably check on the room service order, don't you think you could get us some cocoa or chocolate milk or something?"

"Sure, Lotus."  She picked up the phone and called downstairs, speaking quickly in Arabic, then sighed and handed the phone to her father.  "They won't take orders from me."

He took the phone.  "They want it, give it to them," he ordered, handing it back while he read an update.  "Xander and Peter aren't there anymore.  Interesting."

"The party was in their way?" Lotus asked, looking over his bicep to read the screen herself.  "Hmm.  And no sightings of my brother still.  I didn't think he was that good yet at sneaky maneuvers."

"I'm wondering if Mom knows he's there," Melissa pointed out.

"If we call her, it'll be the one time she forgot to turn off her phone," Jigen offered.  "It'll be at full volume and have that jazz ringtone again."

Lupin snorted.  "No thanks.  I'm not busting her cover that way."  They all looked over as the door opened and Ishi walked in, looking calm and centered.  "Where were you?"

"Beating the shit out of someone," he said honestly, going out onto the deck to sit with his father.  "Someone tried for me, father.  They're very sorry puddles of goo."  His father looked over at him.  "They are," he repeated calmly.  "The officer that came to see what had happened escorted me back into the hotel after I told him someone had tried my sister earlier.  That I had acted in self defense and used my martial arts training to keep from being kidnaped."

"That's fine, son.  I'm glad you're fine."  He pulled him closer to hold him, taking comfort that his son had come back and looked to be fine.  "Did they hurt you?"

"One tried to gas me, one tried to grab my arm.  The one with the gas canister ended up with it up his nose and the one who grabbed me ended up with many broken bones in that arm," he admitted. "I'm fine, father."  He took a deep breath.  "I'm fine."

"Good. I'm glad you're fine, son," he said quietly.  He gave him a squeeze and a pat on the back.  "I know you hate hurting people.  You should not have to.  No more going out alone, son.  We thought you might have followed Xander."

"I started to.  They were waiting at the corner for me."

"Ah."  He nodded and got up, helping his son up and into the suite.  "Someone tried for him.  He defended himself.  Officers answered the scene."

"Fuck," Arsene sighed.  "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he agreed calmly.  "In control.  I want to scream however."

"Of course you do," Jigen agreed, pulling him closer to give him a hug.  "It'll be okay, kiddo.  We'll have this fixed long before you need to go to school."

Ishi looked at his Uncle Lupin.  "She was talking about going visiting, Uncle Lupin.  Something about the locals."

Lupin groaned, one hand drifting up to his forehead.  "He hates us."

"I'm not so sure he's going to be living after this," Ishi noted.  "She was not a happy camper.  Sorta like 'Lis on the rag sorta not happy."

Melissa smacked him hard. "Get off that subject!" she growled.

"Okay."  He quickly backed up against his father.  "Sure.  I won't mention it again," he promised quickly.  "Should I go steal you a candybar?"

"There's chocolate milk that's supposed to be on it's way up," Arsene offered with a small shrug.  "I thought it might be necessary too.  She's about to rip our heads off though."

Melissa let out a credible growl, stunning the adults.  "I'm going to kill you both.  Drop the mother fucking subject!"

"Calm down," Jigen said, patting her on the back.  She got up and stomped off, going to be around normal people downstairs.  "Melissa?" he called.  "You shouldn't be going out alone."

"I'll go after her," Lupin offered.  "Watch this for me, Jigen."  He walked out after his niece, making sure she'd have everything she needed.  Not even Xander got PMS this bad.   It was almost scary, and Melissa was one of the nice and usually good kids.  When he got down there he found her kicking someone's ass.  "Melissa!" he snapped.  "Leave him alone. You don't know where he's been."

"He asked me if I could deliver a message to Ishi about how his mother wanted to talk to him," she said, flipping her hair back over her shoulder.  "I'm sending back a 'hell no'."  She kicked him in the stomach then spit on him and walked up to the desk, smiling sweetly at them.  "Where's the room service order for our room?  I really would like some chocolate milk."

He smiled and went to get her some, before she did it to someone else, telling the manager what had happened on the way past his office.   That one was clearly on the cusp of womanhood and it was always a hard time for them.  Then again, she was only going to get odder as she finished growing into a woman.  That's why Allah made them separate beings.

Lupin hugged Melissa, kissing her on the top of the head. "I'm very proud of you, 'Lis.  You barely broke a sweat.  Go ahead and drag him upstairs.  I'd like to know why the evil bitch wants her kids enough to snatch them from their father, who actually gives a damn about them."  Someone coughed and he spun around, grinning at the other Ray.  "Hi.  Fujiko's free and trying to kidnap her children."

He looked at the body, then back at Lupin and nodded.  "That's reasonable for why you kicked his ass."

"No, *I* kicked his ass," Melissa said, scowling at him. "Get it right, Vecchio."  She took the tray with a nod and let her Uncle sign for it while heading up the stairs.  "You might as well plan twelve him too, Uncle."

"Hmm, maybe we should," Lupin agreed.  "Do me a favor, Ray.  Would you help me carry him off so we can ...question him?"

Ray snorted.  "No!"

"Fine, it'll be the hard way then."  He flicked his wrist and Ray went down in a heap after only getting out a shocked look.  "Hmm, I like that new spring release holster for hypos.  It's really efficient.  Much better than my old one."  He reached over the desk and dialed upstairs.  "Goemon, I could use some help hefting the guy who Melissa just beat the shit out of and the other Ray."  He hung up and patted them both down, pocketing anything questionable on them.  Jigen and Goemon came down, taking the idiot so he got Ray up to their room.  "Send up some coffee, would you please," he requested on his way past the desk.  The receptionist only nodded, looking very confused.  "Don't worry.  We're going to figure out why people want our children."   He let his daughter tie this one up, checking her knots.  "A little loose on his hands, dear."

"He's got carpal tunnel, dad.  If I don't he won't have feeling and then we'll have to help him go to the bathroom," she pointed out.

Melissa looked up from her ice cream and chocolate milk, nodding.  "It's true, he does.  He's not as experienced as the other Uncle Ray at getting out of ropes though.  Want the zapper hypo, Uncle?"

"No, honey, I've got what we need."  He slapped the thief's face until he woke up, smirking at him.  "If you do not tell me everything about this plan to steal the children, I'm handing you back to Ishi and Melissa.  My daughter will do her impersonation of an Iron Chef on you as well."  Arsene let out a cackle, making the thief shiver and try to curl up around his stomach but he had to stop when the pain hit.  "Your choice."

"Their mother wants them back," he said.  "That is all I know."

"Their mother never gave one bit of a damn about them in the past, why would she want them back?" Lotus asked him.  He looked at her so she smiled and wiggled her finger. "By the way, I'm the dangerous one.  I'm Lotus."  He swallowed and shook his head.  So she snapped her fingers and he howled as the thing she had called from her bag bit him on the thigh.  "You were saying?"

"Where did that come from?" her father asked, scowling again.

"My bag."

"That's fine then," he decided.  He stared down at the thief.  "If you do not tell us, I will help the children.  I would like to see my wife again."

"Who're you?" he asked.

"Goemon."

The thief swallowed, noticing who else was in the room.  "You're Jigen," he said, looking at him. Jigen smirked and nodded.  "Then you're Lupin the Third?" he asked Lupin.  Who nodded, looking very smug.  "Why me, Allah?" he asked, looking up at the ceiling.

"Hey, that's not the Lupin or Jigen, or even Goemon, to worry about," Arsene reminded him.  "After all, 'Lis and I are much more mean.  Our mother taught us."  He started to cry.  "Your choice.  Tell the fathers or tell us after we've had some...fun."  He shrieked as Lotus' little charmed set of joke teeth bit him again, starting to cry and babble at them all about everything he knew.  Arsene grabbed some paper, sitting down to take notes for future reference.  Not that the locals would be surviving after her mother got done with them, but it was still something she might need someday.

***

Xander walked into the meeting room alone, smirking at them.  "Good evening, Gentlemen.  I will be speaking with your boss now."

"Go away, woman.  This is not a room for your sort."

She sighed and hit him across the throat, then looked down at him and grinned.  "What makes you think I'm not already in this life, little boy?"

"Who are you?" a man coming out of the back of the warehouse asked.

"Sylvia."

"Sylvia? No last name?" he sneered.

"As in Lupin the Third's gunman and sister to Lavelle, Sylvia," she said with a sneer.  "Obviously someone does not keep up with the who's who lists for thieves and assassins."  Before anyone could move she had her gun out and had shot the guys at the table.   She looked at the newcomer.  "You are?"

"Third in command in the city," he said, looking a bit pale.  "Who are you really?"

"As I said, I'm Sylvia.  Lupin the Third's second gunman and mother to Lupin the Fourth, stepmother to the Goemon children."  His eyes opened very wide.  "As you can tell, I will be speaking with your boss.  Where might he be?"

"In the back," he said, backing away from her.

"No funny shit.  I'm two days away from my cycle and I'm feeling a *tad bit* violent," she warned.  He nodded and turned, running away.  She looked at her handiwork. "You'll all live.  Good.  You're all a waste of bullets."  She looked up as someone came out of the back wearing a suit.  "I know of you. You're not the Don."

He shook his head.  "No, but he sent me to deal with you."  He pulled a gun since he didn't see hers. "Put it away, woman."

She snickered and flicked a finger at him, sending the thing she had called up earlier at him.  He screamed in horror as the little thing burrowed into his stomach.  "Nice try.  I applaud your balls in facing me down.  Too bad I'm not in the mood to be nice.  Never, ever, fuck with my kids.  This is a lesson you should take to heart if you live."  She headed into the back, pushing past two guards.  She walked in without knocking.  "Morning."

"You are?"

"Sylvia."

He looked up at her, frowning.  "Sylvia?"

"Yes, as in sister to Lavelle, second gunman to Lupin the Third while he's on vacation, and mother to Lupin the Fourth.  Also stepmother to the Goemon children since Fujiko wouldn't even change a diaper.  I'm sure you're seeing the conflict now."

He gaped then shook his head. "We have nothing to do with that."

"Bullshit.  Two of your hitters tried for the kids tonight."  He looked stunned.  "See, we have one of them in custody at the moment since he just tried for my daughter Melissa Jigen.  The other one I believe Lotus knocked out after his extreme headache?"  He whimpered and backed away as she moved closer.  "Now, we're going to settle this.  Before I finish losing my temper."

"Your temper always was a bad thing, Xander," Fujiko said from behind her.  "Ah!" she said when she started to turn.  "Don't try it.  I know what you're capable of."

"Really?" she asked, turning to look at her.  "Are you sure of that?"  Fujiko grimaced. "You have no idea what I can do, Fujiko.  The same as you have no idea what your kids can do since you never took an interest in them or their education.  Unfortunately you've already lost."

"Why?  Bring the cops?" she sneered.

"No, I left Kowalski tied up."   Fujiko looked stunned for a second, then sneered again.  "I don't know what game you're playing, Fujiko, but you're not getting the kids.  They're going to go to school.  They're going to finish their training.  Your daughter will make her choice someday.  Your other sons will make theirs.  There will be no political marriages unless they decide to break the rules we set down for sexual encounters and waiting until they're older."  She crossed her arms.  "For that matter, you'd have to actually take care of the kids if you got them.  Considering you once let your baby scream for eight hours straight because you were too lazy to make a bottle or change a diaper?  I don't think so."  The don coughed.  "Stay out of this or die," she warned.  She noticed Fujiko shifting her stance and shrugged. "Try, babe.  Let's see where it gets you to try and shoot me."

"Fine."  She raised the gun.  "Nice knowing you, Xander."  She pulled the trigger, but Xander wasn't there.  She moved and found herself in a headlock with a foot around one of hers.  Then she found herself unconscious.

"Huh.  You forgot a lot, Fujiko."  She looked at the Don.  "You were saying about not being involved?"  He shook his head quickly, backing away from her.  "This is a lesson you should take to heart.  Never, ever mess with a woman's children.  We get deadly.  Remember, I'm not the nice one.  By the way, the explosives should be going off in about a minute."  She picked Fujiko up and carried her out, setting off the explosives she had laid as she walked out the door.  She got her into the trunk of Peter's car and tied her hands loosely behind her back.  "Morning, thank you for waiting."  She climbed in and grinned at him.  "I liked letting go again."  He snorted and shook his head, starting the car.  "Let's go.  I'll decide if I'm killing her on the way or not."

"Sure, Sylvia."  He started the car, driving them toward the harbor.

She pulled out her phone.  "Death sentence or not?" she asked Jigen's voice once it came on the line.  "No.  Fine.  Yes or no."  She listened to the quick debate. "You've got about another block of driving."  Lupin made a decision.  "Fine, I'll let her live."  They pulled up next to the dock so she got out and pulled Fujiko out of the trunk, slapping her when she tried to struggle.  "Stop it, bitch. You hurt my kids, you'll have the chance to live."  She pushed her off the dock, then waved as she sunk.   She got back into the car.  "I hate people who fuck with my kids."

"I understand fully," Peter agreed, driving off once the door was closed.  On the way he set off the small switch under his clutch.   The gas was odorless and clear.  She never even knew what was going on before she fell asleep.  He rolled down the window, airing out the car as he headed for the desert.  There were some people who wanted this one and they paid very well.

***

Arsene looked up as the laptop beeped, then at her father.  "Doublecross!" she yelled, waking the napping adults.  Lupin hurried over with Jigen right behind him to read the new message.  "Oh, someone is so dead," she told Ishi, who was scowling just like his father.

He nodded. "Very dead.  Pity about that.  The mother?"

"She tied her hands and feet and dumped her into the sea," Jigen said as he read.  "She has the chance of living."

"Fairly restrained for mom," Melissa noted.  "Wow, I'm impressed."

"Me too," Arsene agreed.

Lotus shook her head.  "They said to give her a chance at living," she reminded them.

"Pity about that," Jigen muttered.  "Are we going?"

"Yeah, pack.  We'll leave the cops here," Lupin ordered.  Her father looked at her, giving her an odd look.  "We've got to rescue her.  Who knows what they want her for?  They could want her to awaken some nasty demon or something, or even want to kill her."

"Or worse, want to keep her as a sex slave," Ishi noted bitterly.  "If so, then we're going to destroy them horribly, correct?"

Lupin the Third nodded.  "Definitely.  Go pack.  We'll pick you up on the way back through."  The kids glared at him.  "No!"

"Dad, some of her own network turned on her," Arsene reminded him.  "This means you'll need backup."

"Yay.  Go pack," Jigen ordered.  "Or no shopping at all."  They sighed and went to do that.

"We're not that inexperienced, dad," Melissa reminded him gently.

"Yay.  This is an adult thing.  When you're eighteen then you can start going on high-risk missions," Lupin told her.  "Go pack, pack for us too."  She rolled her eyes but did so.  "You as well, Ishi."

"Fuck you, I'm going," he stated.  His father gaped at him.  "I am the best trained and Arsene was right. You will need backup.  It's not like I haven't been in combat before."

"When?" Goemon squeaked.

His son looked at him.  "Father, has it escaped you that I have shot the officers sitting in this very room in the past?  Or that I've been the one to shoot their way out of trouble in the past when the girls got stuck?"  His father looked stunned, mouth open and arms limply hanging at his side.  "Therefore I'm going.   Or I'll simply follow you and I won't be able to keep the girls out of it."

Lupin looked at Goemon, it was his decision.  "Goemon?" he asked.

"He can stay if he wants," Ishi said cockily.  He took the extra gun off his uncle's back waistline.  "Come on, let's go.  He's got a full clip."  He checked just in case, then grabbed a jacket as he walked out the door, taking a set of keys with him.  They always took a set of keys whenever they stayed at a new place.

Jigen looked at Goemon.  "We can gas him," he offered.

Goemon took a calming breath.  "I do not want him to come with us, but if he has done what he's said and hinted at, then he is probably capable."

"He has," Melissa said from her doorway.  "Ishi's a damn good backup."  She closed her door again.

"Remember to take spare ammo," Arsene yelled from her room.  "It's in the green bag."

Jigen grabbed the whole bag and headed out after the kid.  Goemon had to make the decision.  It was his kid.  Even if he didn't agree with it.  He took the cop's gun and handed him one of Xander's spares, watching as the kid reloaded it and checked it over fully before taking some spare ammo and clips for it.  The kid was good.  He had been trained well.  He guessed he could have a field trial after all.  He took his usual seat, waiting on the others.  Lupin came jogging out and hopped into the driver's seat, starting the engine as Goemon came trotting out and jumped into the back.  "We set?"

"We're set," Goemon agreed, nudging his son and handing over the second sword he had paused to get for him.  "Yours."

Ishi looked it over.  It was the one that had been given to Xander back in Imperial Japan.  He nodded, smiling slightly at his father.  "Thank you.  I'll guard it well."

"See that you do, and that you take care of it while you are at school, my son."  He cupped his cheek.  "Are you sure?"

"It's not the first time, dad.  I may get sick afterward if it's that bad, but I've had to rescue Arsene before from some guards.   It's not the first time.  Mom knew that, she relented when I begged her not to tell you."

"Another thing Xander will be sharing with us," Lupin said as they headed out of town, following the directions he had been given.

"Where are these people?  In a fricken tent?" Jigen complained.

"Yeah, they are," Lupin said dryly.  "A sheik, boys.  He wants our girl."

"Why?" Ishi asked.

"To be his newest wife."

"Hmm.  Hopefully she'll have killed the guards or him by then," Ishi offered.

"Hopefully he won't have hurt her," Jigen amended.  "If she's unconscious, then they may try something."

"Then they'll die," Lupin said firmly. "No one touches what's mine."  He sped up as they hit the main thoroughfare, he wanted to meet this person in person.

Captive Audience

Xander looked at her captor, who was sneering at her.  "What are you doing?  Do you even have a clue what you've done?"

"Yes, I took something that I wanted," he said smugly.

"Uh-huh.  Has the fact that I can kill you escaped your narrow little mind?  Or that I might not want to be here?  I've got a man, thank you."

"Ah, but I've got things they don't."

"Are you demonic?"

He looked confused, then shook his head.  "No, why?"

"Then you're nothing and you have nothing I couldn't get for myself.  Now if you were demonic, I might be scared and fight you, but I think I'll just kill you the easy way."

He shook his head.  "What makes you think that you, a mere woman, could harm me?"

"Do you not have any idea who I am?"

"A very fertile mother."

"And a trained sharpshooter and assassin.  Hello, a thief in my own right," she said at his renewed confused look.  "I'm not just some woman.  For that matter, I'm not exactly a woman all the time."  She shook her head and got her hands free, then sat up and got her ankles free before the guards could move to stop her.  She slid off the exam table, a little dizzy at the moment, but when one of them rushed her, she killed him quickly by ducking his swing and taking his knife, then planting it in the middle of his chest.  She braced a foot on his chest and pulled out the blade with a wet, sucking noise.  "Next?" she asked, smirking at him.

Her captor looked stunned.  Then he started to laugh.  "Good, you will be a good guardian of my harem and my future sons you will bear me."

"I've only had daughters," she said snidely, "and I'm not having some for you.  I've had myself fixed, sorry."  He glared at her so she smirked and shrugged.  "I didn't want any more and we all know men have no self control.  That's why your people can't stand to see an uncovered woman, because you can't control yourself."  The taunt was planned to piss him off and it worked.  More guards rushed in and she took on most of them.  A few of them guarded their boss.  She got most of them down but got a few good hits on the way.  Two more were dead before they captured her. She shrieked and kicked, sending one man crashing to the ground when she sent his balls back up into his stomach.  She spat at the man and his guards.  "You'll have me over my cold, dead, rotting body.  On you and yours a curse.  There will be no more children born live!"

"Then the mothers are of no use to me and they'll be killed," he said with a shrug.  "I'll just keep you."

She snorted. "I doubt it."

"Really?  I can make it so you only touch me.  So that I'm the only one who gives you pleasure," he taunted. "I can have you fixed in my own special way."

"And I can kill whoever comes near me."  She twisted, sending one of the guards holding her to the ground.  One of them grabbed her hair next to her scalp and tried to hold her still but she continued to struggle. "Let me go before all Hell breaks loose in here!"

"You are naught but a woman.  You will soon learn your place.  Take her to the doctor.  Have him do a full exam before he fixes her."  She shrieked but more guards came forward to carry her off.  "Do not worry, you will appreciate me more later."

Xander started to pull power, calling on anything nearby to come help her.  She felt a being answer and groaned.  A mummy.  She had reanimated something.  Well, it'd have to do.  She guided it to intercept them, stunning the guards when it shambled into place.  It gave her enough time to get free and start chanting to call something down on them.  She didn't use it much, but in this situation she wanted them dead.  No one touched her against her will!  No one tried to *fix* her!  The first to arrive was an incubus, one she knew.  "I want them dead," she panted.  "They're yours if you want them."

He looked stunned, then looked at the guards, stunning them easily.  He touched her forehead. "Are you all right, Lady Xander?"

"Hell no!  They kidnaped me! They're going to fix me!  Like you do to your cat and dog!"

"Well," he said, frowning back at the guards.  "We can have them?"

"There are other slaves here," she told him.

"I will free them, Lady Xander.  In your honor.  Do you need me to take you to the kitsune?"

"No, I know Lupin's on his way," she said, leaning against his side.  She looked at the mummy, then back at him.  "I tried to call for other help first," she joked weakly, going limp against his side.

He caught her before she passed out, calling up something to hold her.  Then he looked at the guards and called his boss for instructions.  This was not allowed. A Princess of Hell was not one who was casually molested.  And especially not fixed.  Whatever that meant.  He touched the nearest guard's head to find that one out, then shuddered.  "How utterly horrid," he said in disgust.  "You need to be destroyed just for that alone!  My Lord! They wanted to sexually torture and harm her!  Your orders, Lord?"

A small child appeared, this time a female child.  "Our Lord and Master said to free the slaves, to let Lupin find them somewhere safer than this and people to help them.  He said that the guards and the big boy were yours, though to offer to torture him for Lavelle if she so desired.  Her men are on their way but they got bad directions or they've moved since then.  It will take hours."  She sneered at them. "You're in for it now.  She's one of our Princesses of Hell."  She looked at the mummy.  "Interesting.  How?"

"She said she tried to call for other help first," he said dryly, smirking at her. "Thank you, My Queen.  May their pain bring you pleasure."  She smirked and disappeared with the mummy.  He called out more of his brethren, bringing them running to this walking buffet.  They'd love this.  They'd be stuffed for months.

***

Lupin stopped the car by the tents, listening to the quiet around them.  He could hear a camel grunting behind the tents, but no human sounds.  He looked at Ishi, who had already slipped out of the car.  "We go in with you as rear guard," he ordered.

"Of course."  He checked his gun to make sure the safety wasn't on then followed the three adults into the first tent.  They found a few sleeping men and Ishi stopped to look at one, then at the other's his eyes going wide.  "They smell of incense, like the Incubus' ambassador did," he said.  Lupin stopped to look at him.  "They do."

Goemon nudged one with the sheathe to his katana, waking it up.  "Are you human?"

"Formerly," he said, belching and closing his eyes.  "The Princess is in the office.  Main tent in the rear of the camp.   They were going to hurt her," he mumbled as he fell back asleep.

Lupin and Jigen both ran for the opening, heading back to the main tent that they had been told to go to.  They ran in and found Xander behind a desk, reading a file.  "Are you all right?" he asked.  Two guards stood up and got in his way.  "Hey!"

Jigen patted him on the back.  "Xan?"

She shook her head and looked up, then smirked.  "Hi.  I got desperate.  Let them in, guys.  They're my men and my trainer and stepson."  The guards moved.  "Okay, we've got a situation, Lupin.  He's got fifty-eight women here he's kept as sex slaves and a harem.  Some need medical intervention, all of them probably need psychological help.  Do you know anyone?  This guy's got enough money to fund them."

"There is a group," Jigen offered, leaning down to kiss her.  "Why do you smell like incense?"

"Because the Incubus' ambassador to the Kitsune caught me when I passed out.  They're his friends and relatives."

"Hey, that's wonderful," Lupin agreed tiredly.  "Are you all right now?"

"They were going to have me fixed," she said bitterly.  "I woke up strapped to a table.  Fortunately I've started to bleed so therefore they're not touching me at the moment," she said sarcastically.   "I panicked when they tried to cart me off to have the doctor examine and fix me."

"Perfectly understandable," he promised, coming around to hug her.  "Oh, Gods, you're all right," he breathed into her neck.

"I'm fine, baby."  She kissed him, then Jigen.  She got up to give the Goemon men a hug each.  "We'll be fine.  Let's get someone called in to help these poor women then we can disappear."

"Good.  The girls need you to take them bra shopping before they start school," Jigen said, not understanding this but he'd deal with it for now.  Xander would expand on this later he was sure.  She smiled at him so he stared at her.  She handed over a folder, keeping it closed. "Bad?"

"Medical records and execution records.  They were having girls."

Someone yelled and ran into the tent so Ishi got him, then looked at his mother.  "Is he native?"

"I'm not sure.  Killing or wounding?"

"You taught me to wound as a first alternative," he reminded her.  He took the medical file to look through, grimacing.  "Eww.  They cut off a few hands?"

"They probably fought back."  She walked over and knelt beside the man, looking down at him.  "Are you an employee or a relative of a woman stranded here?" she asked calmly.  "The former owner of these tents is dead."

He grabbed her hand.  "My sister?"

"I'm not sure.  He's had a few women killed.  If not, then we'll be calling someone in to help them.  They'll need help.  They've been kept this way for a long time."  He groaned.  "If the helpers say she's ready, they'll give her back to you."  He nodded, that seemed fair.  "Do you have a clan or a troupe?"

"We are a family group," he said, pressing on the shallow wound.  "That one is very good."

She smirked at him. "Ishi's my stepson and student.  He's a Goemon.  That's Lupin the Third."  She pointed at him.  "We will do what we can to help these women heal."

"Thank you."  He squeezed her hand.  "May I get up now?"

"Sure."  She helped him up, letting Ishi help him bandage the wound.  "Good shot, Ishi. I'm damn proud."  She sat behind the desk again.  "If we know someone, we've only got a few hours.  The incubi are leaving at dawn."

Lupin pulled out his phone and dialed a number back in Europe.  "Murami, I know it's early, but Xander was nearly just kept by a white slaver.  She's managed to kill him and his guards with some help, but there's other women here.  No, Egypt.  Do we know anyone who can help them?"  He grimaced.  "I thought there were groups.  Oh, they're in Asia mostly."  He hummed.  "Anyone who can sub in?"  He nodded. "That works.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She'll find someone and fly them down.  She knows someone who works in their PR department.  That'll at least get someone down here to manage in our absence."  He looked at the worried man.  "Can your family come guard these women until those who can help come?"  He nodded, staggering to his feet and heading outside to whistle a peculiar song.  An older man strode in with the injured man behind him. "Lupin the Third," he said, holding out a hand.  "They tried to take what was mine."

The older man shook his hand and bowed to Xander.  "I thank you.  No matter how you did it, you freed them."

"We're getting a group of people down here to help these women," Xander told him.  "They've been mistreated.  They should be here by tonight or tomorrow.  Can you guard them until they come and help them after that?"

"Is my daughter here?"

"I honestly don't know," she admitted.  "I had someone put them all to sleep so they wouldn't have to hear the carnage."  She stood up, only wobbling a bit.  "Come, I'll lead you to where most of them are.  If she's not there, there's only two alternatives."  Jigen caught her when she wobbled a bit worse.  "Shit!"

"Shh," he soothed, sitting her back down.  "Which tent?"

"The red one.  There's guards," she said calmly, looking at him.  He nodded, taking Ishi and Goemon with him just in case.  Lupin would guard her.  The father and brother walked out after them.  She looked at Lupin.  "I'm really fine.  Just really tired."

"Shh, babe.  Let us pamper you for a bit," he soothed, coming over to hold her.  He had been so worried.  "I'm glad you managed to call some help.  We got the wrong directions."

She patted him on the hand. "I brought back a mummy first by accident."

"I'm sure he'll forgive you," he promised, giving her an extra squeeze.  He looked over as a small female child appeared.  "Hello.  I know you're not normal."

"She's the top female in Hell," Xander said tiredly.  "I hear I'm indebted to you for letting them help me tonight."

"It was just," she noted.  "The mummy has been released and is back in his own realm."  She looked at her, then at Lupin.  "She'll be fine with some rest.  It's mostly a reaction to the drugs they gave her."  He nodded, giving her another squeeze.  "They will be leaving at dawn."

"That's fine.  There's a worried father and brother here," she said tiredly.  "Thank you again."

"It is nothing, Princess.  Your own section continues to be built.  You have much time left and you do give us interesting challenges."  She smirked and looked around, then snapped her fingers, bringing the ambassador. "At first light, your kind shall leave."

"Of course, my queen," he agreed, bowing at her feet.  "I thank you for this opportunity."

"Not many would know how to use an incubus in combat.  Our Princess is most wise," she pointed out, patting him on the head.  "How many casualties?"

"Mostly overeating, my queen.  They shall be up in time."  She nodded and disappeared.  He looked up at Lupin and shrugged.  "She'll flay me if we don't."

"Hey, not an issue. There's a worried father and brother here."

"I saw them.  Their woman is not with those in the main tent.  We led them to the auxiliary tent in hopes that she was in there."

Goemon came back in, nodding at the demon on the floor of the tent.  "She was found.  She is not in good health.  She needs water, food, and medical care."

"Murami's sending someone," she promised.

"Good.  They will stay and guard the remaining women."  He looked down at the demon.  "So your kind can leave if you must."

"We'll snack on the remaining guards then leave," he promised.  "It'll make them docile and easily controlled."  He got up and bowed to Xander. "I hear congratulations are in order.  May you get the rest you need, my Princess."  He backed out, going back to his duties.   They left together, and only one guard was at full strength.  They were all too full to tamper with his energies.

Ishi solved that by grabbing him by the throat and placing his very sharp sword against the man's dick.  "If you touch one of those women, I will be back," he growled.  "I am a fate worse than death and eternity in Hell."  The man sobbed, he had seen those things take down his comrades and his family. "You will help this family guard them and admit what you have done.  You will take your punishment, or I will be back with my mother.  She's the one who called them and trained me to be worse."  He let the man go and stomped off.   The guard fell back to his knees, sobbing in relief that he was alive.  As the sun came up, he sent the first of many prayers to God for the blessings of his life.  No matter what happened next, he was still alive and whole.

***

The quintet stopped at the hotel and picked up the daughters and luggage, heading to the airport to fly back to Italy.  Murami had chartered them a private plane this time.  They all needed the rest.  By the time they were taxiing out to the runway, Xander was asleep in her seat.  Jigen and Goemon looked at Lupin, who nodded.  As soon as they were in the air, they took Ishi back to the small private meeting room in the plane, closing them inside.  "Ishi," Lupin started.  "I'm impressed," he admitted.

His father nodded.  "You did very well, son.  You were calm under bad conditions.  You handled the lone guard very well."

Jigen nodded.  "You showed a lot of skill with that wounding shot.  Easily your mom's level."

"But you're still a kid," Lupin finished.  "We want you guys to stay kids for a bit longer.  You'll miss it if you don't."

"Oh, I fully agree," Ishi promised, hopping up to sit on the table, looking at the adults.  "I'll only go out if I have to.  I don't want to have to do it full time yet."  His father relaxed at that.  "That was a situation where you needed the extra help.  If mom hadn't called the incubi, she'd be in bad shape by now and there'd be a lot more guards who'd have to be killed."

Lupin nodded.  "Very true.  It showed some desperation on her part, but I get why she did it and agree with.  In the future, however, you will not be demanding to go on jobs."

"Not unless it's another similar situation," Ishi promised.  "I want to be fourteen for a while."

Jigen patted him on the back.  "Good boy, kiddo.  Try to instill that into the girls too, 'kay?"

"I've been trying," he sighed, grinning at him.  "They're figuring out that it's a lot better to be teenagers than adults.  We're cool on that.  Arsene doesn't want to be an adult yet.  That would mean she'd have to get serious."

Lupin nodded, smiling at his stepson.  "Good boy, Ishi.  I'm damn proud of you and how you handled yourself.  Good job."

"It's a testament to your excellent training," Goemon agreed smugly.  "You have absorbed a lot of it and kept it for a long time."

Ishi pulled his father closer, hugging him.  "Thanks, dad.  I love you too."  He grinned at the other adults.  "Can I have a sixteenth birthday party?"

"How about eighteenth?" Lupin asked smugly.  "Complete with dancing girls?"

Ishi blushed.  "But I have a woman," he complained.

"She can come," Jigen promised.  "The girls'll be there for Arsene."

Ishi pinched him, chuckling lightly.  "Sure, Uncle Jigen.  That's cool. I could accept that."  He grinned at his father.  "Does this mean I have to hand back the sword until I'm older?"

"No, son, it is yours.  You are worthy of it.  Keep it with you."

Ishi hugged his dad again, sniffling slightly.  "Thanks, dad."

"You earned it, son.  You deserve it."  He gave him a gentle squeeze.  "Pull yourself together.  Get to know your blade.  I will help you for the next few days to care for it to make sure you know it all."

"Thanks, daddy."  He slid off the table, walking back out with the parents of the group.  "Guys.  My dad presented me with Mom's sword from Ancient Times."  They clapped, smiling at him. "It's mine now."

"It keeps you from stealing his," Jigen said dryly, making Ishi blush, but giggle a bit.  He patted him on the back of the head.  "Okay, where are we headed, Lupin?"

"Rome.  We'll drive up from there.  Then we'll head home to recuperate."  He flopped down beside Xander, checking her pulse.  She shifted and swatted at him so he turned it into a stroke up her arm. "You rest, Xan. You've got to take the kids bra shopping."

"Does this mean Ishi has to start wearing a loincloth now?" Arsene asked Goemon.

"Only if he desires it," Goemon assured her, holding down his blush.  "There are times when he will have to wear the full outfit and do it traditionally.  For the most part, he can do without a loincloth."

"I'm not sure you can go commando under a kimono," Melissa noted, grinning at Ishi.  "Can you?"

"You can but it feels odd for the first few hours," he admitted.

His father blushed at that.  "Son!"

"Sorry, dad, couldn't resist.  You know how I am."

"Yes, son, I do know how your uncles have warped you terribly," he agreed, giving him a look.  "Try to be my son, not Lupin's."

"I usually wear underwear," Lupin defended.  "It's Jigen that goes commando whenever he forgets to do laundry."

"Or when Mom hands him pants without underwear sometimes," Melissa added for good measure, making her father blush.  "Sorry, dad.  It was kinda noticeable however.  Your fly was down the last time and those pants were a bit tight."

"But you have a nice ass, Uncle Jigen.  That workout routine of yours is really working well," Arsene assured him.

"Son, do not turn into her," Goemon ordered.  "Do not marry her either."

"Eww, dad."

"Thank you, son.  That attitude makes me more proud than even your marksmanship or your sword skills."  His son smirked at him.

"So, dad, are there any restrictions when we go bra shopping?" Arsene asked.

"Get comfortable things that you can workout in," Jigen told her.

"Underwire hurts according to Xan," Lupin offered.  "I agree though, get something you can work out in.  Nothing trashy because you won't be needing it.  Get what you like otherwise."

"Sure, dad."

"It's nice to know that our parents aren't like some who dictate what you can and can't wear as underwear.  Many parents refuse to let their girls have anything other than lacy little creations that make them ache or very prim, Victorian underwear that is nowhere near cute."

"Which means that they then go buy the cute, flimsy stuff that makes you ache," Arsene added with a smirk for her sister.  "Any other rules?"

"Yeah, nothing with diamonds and it has to be machine washable," Ishi told her dryly, smirking at her.  "I don't care that Victoria's Secret did make a diamond studded bra, you don't need one."

"It only fit little, tiny titted women, Ishi," Melissa assured him.  "It was made for like a 36 B or something."

"Of which none of us are," Lotus agreed bitterly.  "Father, may I start looking into reduction operations if I keep growing larger?  I'd rather not look like a stripper," she said when he looked at her.  He blushed bright red so she sighed and shrugged.  "Sorry, dad."

"When you're older," he managed to get out.

Ishi patted him on the back.  "It's a practical matter for her, father.  She can't run if she's built like mother.  She'd hurt herself."

"I'd still rather have a modestly larger size chest," Melissa complained.  "I don't want to be flat chested.  Boys don't look at me as is."

"They do so," Jigen assured her.  "The same as they do your mother."

"Boys look at Mom?" Arsene asked.  "Why?  She's a mother."

"She's also hot, well built, and sexy as hell," Lupin assured his daughter.

"But she's a mom," Arsene repeated.

"Mothers are still women," Jigen assured her.  "Very good and sexual women."

"Eww!"  Arsene shuddered.  "Ick, Uncle Jigen!  I don't need to know about you two and sex.  Dad's one thing, he's a Lupin.   We expect him to be a horny bastard that jumps mom, where she'll sigh and give in.  Not that you're sexual and jumpy that way!  Eww!"

"I'll have you know Jigens are very sexual, Lupin," Melissa complained.  "I may not get all the boys trying to cop a feel like you do, but I'm not a nun.  Far from it.  I had a wet dream long before you did."

"Kids," Jigen said, starting to feel sick.  "That's much more than I wanted to know."

"It's the self control, Arsene," Lupin told her. "Jigen and Goemon have a lot of self control, whereas our family has almost none.  I was hoping your genetic mother would have gifted you with some control over your impulses."

Melissa looked at her father.  "Does that mean that you check out the same people I do?"

Jigen shook his head quickly.  "Sorry, baby girl, I only like girls.  Xander is the lone exception."

"I check out girls too," she admitted.  "Some of them are pretty cute.  Like that waitress last week?"

Jigen groaned and shook his head.  "Daughter, we may be thieves and have low morals, but that doesn't mean I want to know who you fantasize about.  Really.  I'd rather be in the dark about that."

"Let me add a bit of 'me too'," Arsene added for good measure.  "She was a bagger."

"I wasn't looking at her face, Arsene.  I'm a teenager, I'm shallow that way."

Lotus squeezed her father's arm, gaining his attention.  "Don't worry, dad, I'm straight."

He patted her on the back and gave her a short hug.  "Thank you, daughter.  Hopefully you will find a good man someday to make a husband.  At that time, I do not want to hear details either."

She giggled and pinched him on the arm.  "Yes, daddy."

Lupin whistled. "No more of this topic before some of us get ill."

"If you need an airsickness bag, sir, just ring your bell," the stewardess said cheerfully from the galley.  "Does anyone want a soda?"

"Got liquor?" Jigen asked.  "Our kids were giving us bad information and visions."

She cooed and got the tray of small bottles, letting him pick out what he wanted from the single shot bottles.  The other men took what they wanted and downed the first one quickly.  She handed sodas to the children, patting Arsene on the head when she got pinched.  "Don't do that, young one.  You're not near old enough for me."  She smiled at Ishi.  "You're still adorable too."

"And fourteen," he admitted with a blush.  "And having a girlfriend," he finished with a squeak.

She pinched him on the cheek.  "You're adorable."  She took some coffee up to the pilot, letting him in on what she had overheard.  Those poor parents.  She'd have to keep them in liquor for the flight.

***

Xander walked the girls into the first of many bra shops that day.  "Girls.  There are rules.  You will not get anything trashy.  Anything you will get will be something you can do ten pushups and ten jumping jacks in.  You don't need to stand up at the moment. Got it?"  They nodded, breaking up to look at the racks.  She looked at the saleswoman.  "First ones."

The woman squealed and came over to help them into things that she'd want to see her daughters in.

Arsene stopped at the 'other clothes that can be lingerie' rack, finding a new bodysuit.  "Mom?"  She held it up.  "Is this okay?"

"Under what, Arsene?"

"My usual, a skirt."

"Sure.  Just don't show your father."  She nodded, going to get underthings that would look good under it.

Melissa held up a tanktop with a built-in bra.  "Mom, what do you think of these?"

"They don't support you very well," the saleswoman offered.

"I'm more physically active.  I don't need support, I need to have them smooshed down while I work out.  I'll need very few good bras.  We're all like that."

"We do have a darling line of sports bras and halter bras," she offered, leading her over to them.  She looked at the girl, then pulled down a size.  "I think this one would fit you best.  Let's try it on you then we'll shop for styles."  She nodded, following her into the changing room.

"Mom!" Melissa squeaked.

"It's normal, they do the same thing to me," Xander called back. "She's teaching you how to fluff yourself once you've got it on."  She found a few things for herself, some of hers were worn out.   Arsene and Lotus followed her into the changing room, letting the woman manhandle them into proper bras.  Fortunately the other two had already had this moment a few months back so she was prepared for this stuff.  The fact that Lotus wanted real lingerie stumped her for a moment, but she shrugged and gave her a look.  "Why?"

"For under a kimono.  I need more support than the others," she noted shyly, covering her chest.  "These longer bras give me better control and make me stand up straight."

"I'm having your back checked for spine curvature," Xander said thoughtfully.  "Two.  That's it."  She nodded, grabbing two that weren't all lace, but were still kinda pretty.  "What about under a kimono?"

"I figure I'll get something special for that one," Lotus promised.  Xander nodded, that was reasonable.  She got the girls checked out then their bags, each tied a different way, were put into the trunk.  Then they went to the next shop.  The girls were all growing so they needed all new clothes.  Since they had to be at the school the next day, this was their only chance until the summer.   By the time they were done, each girl had a trunk of their own and had it well-filled.  Arsene was in her chosen outfit of a bodysuit, skirt, and high heeled boots.  Melissa was in pants and a t-shirt style shirt, plus a leather jacket overtop of it.  Lotus was in a silk pantsuit and flats.  The girls got into the back of the car, letting her drive them back to the hotel.  They walked in and found Ishi walking around to break in his shoes.

"I find that sand paper helps with the slick bottoms," Xander said as she let the girls carry in their new trunks.  "They're done.  Fully kitted out for the rest of this year and into the summer as long as they don't grow too much."

Lupin looked up and his jaw dropped at the sight of his daughter.  She was...she had tits that stood up, she was in heels... she looked hot.  He let out a whimper as the pen slipped from between his fingers.  "Arsene?"

She skipped over to hug him.  "Hi, Daddy.  What a difference a bra makes, huh?" she teased, kissing him on the cheek.  "Am I cute?"

"You're....very pretty," he admitted, holding in his admission of hotness.  He didn't want to say that about his daughter, or even think it really.  "You look quite grown up.  Is that makeup?"

"Nope.  I put on some lipgloss, but Mom said nothing else.  Not until we've worn a bra for a year."

"Okay," he agreed quickly, that would only make her look more adult.

Jigen looked at his daughter. "You look like you're mine," he noted, smirking at her.  She hugged him.  "My poor baby, all growing up."

"Dad, I'm only thirteen.  Barely thirteen.  It's a long time before I'm all grown up."  He laughed and squeezed her.  "Thanks, dad.  I'm glad you approve of my new look.  Doesn't Lotus look grown up too?"

"Very," he agreed, grinning at her.  "Very suave, Lotus."

"Thanks, Uncle Jigen."  She gave her stunned father a hug.  "Do you approve, Father?"

"I do," he admitted quietly.  "You look very grown up, daughter."  He tipped her chin up.  "Good, you have not fallen prey to those ads that claim you need help to make yourself beautiful."

"Only some light lip gloss and some nailpolish now and then," she promised.  "I know I'm stunning without it."  She smirked at her brother.  "So, how was your shopping?"

"Good.  I managed to avoid the dreaded thong offer a few times when Uncle Jigen and Uncle Lupin suggested it."  He licked his lips, looking at the others.  "I feel awkward.  You three look ...cute...um, hot."

Arsene giggled and punched him on the arm.  "Thanks, Ishi.  You look hot in what Mom got you too."  She flopped down, letting her long skirt cover her legs as she crossed them.  "Okay.  Do we have plans tonight?"

"Club?" Xander suggested.  "There's a teen one around here somewhere."

"We'd have to chaperone," Jigen said firmly.  His daughter looked way too damn hot to be in any club and not get hit on.   That was something he couldn't face yet, his baby being a sexual being.

Lupin shook his head.  "Not a good idea.  I don't think I could stand a club tonight, especially not one full of teenagers."  He looked at his baby girl again and held in a sniffle.  She was nearly grown up.

Xander walked past him, giving him a pat on the back.  "It's inevitable," she promised as she got him some water, kissing him on the cheek.  He gave her a hurt look.  "She's thirteen, Arsene.  She's a young woman. She's not a baby in diapers."

"I know, but she's so adult looking in that."

"No, she's still got a lot of kid in her," she promised.  "She's not near finished growing yet."  She gave him a gentle hug.  "I moderated things.  No leather cat suits.  No thongs.  No trashy lingerie."

He pulled her around to hug her.  "You're amazing, Xan. I love you."  He kissed her gently.  "They're really mostly grown up, aren't they?" he whispered, staring at the kids.

She nodded.  "But Fred's not," she promised.  "Neither is Alex.  She's barely starting to read."

"Good, that makes it less painful."  He kissed her again.  "No trashy stuff?"

"Lotus wanted some longer line bras to help her posture.  I wanted to get her spine checked for a curve."

"Sure."  He kissed her again.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome.  We also checked with the school.  They did need some formal gear so I called the housekeeper and had her send some of my older stuff for them.  The stuff from before the first baby.  They may be able to fit into that.  If not, there's a seamstress there."  She smirked at him.  "Just think, only a few more to go, then they'll all be grown up.  No more diapers.  No more having to monitor sugar intake and caffeine intake."

He snuggled into her neck again, taking deep, calming breaths as that thought percolated through his mind.  No more cuddly little babies.  No more toddlers demanding to be read to.  No more snuggly little things who had nightmares and had to crawl in with you at just the wrong moment while you were trying to have sex.  No more messy faces.  No more hyper kids screaming in the backyard.

Ishi leaned down next to his Uncle's ear, whispering in it.  "There will be grandchildren some day," he promised.  Lupin grinned at him.  He got himself a soda.  "Are we having dinner out or should we roast someone to eat them?"

"Let me change," Xander said, waiting until Lupin let her go to get up and go change.  She came out in a teasing outfit, making Lupin groan and get up to drag her back into the bedroom.  "Hmm, did I forget the jacket over this?" she teased.

"Dick tease," he taunted, kissing her hard.  "Brat."  He pulled her closer, hands on her ass.  He moaned when he didn't feel anything there.  "You're asking to become dinner, lover. You sure you wanna do that to me?"

"You'll want to be worn out emotionally tomorrow before we drop them off."

"Hmm, probably."  He kissed her again.  "Put on real clothes. It's not necessary."

"I don't have any real clothes, Lupin.  Everything needs washed."

He looked at her.  "You shopped for seven hours with three girls and didn't buy yourself anything?"   She nodded.  "Why not?"

"Because I didn't think I needed anything until I came in here to change.  I only got two bras.  Somehow I'm either missing a bag or I've managed to send everything out to be washed."

Lupin reached back and opened the door.  "Does Xan have another bag around here?"

Jigen snorted.  "I was wondering when she was going to notice it was missing."  He carried it in there, smirking at her outfit.  "You look nice in that."

"I'd rather have her look like a woman, not a working girl," Lupin said, digging through the bag, wrinkling his nose.  "All this needs washed too."  He looked at her, then sighed and took off his jacket, handing it over.  "Here, put that on and button it."  She waved it off and got one of the ones in the closet, waving it before putting it back on and smoothing out her skirt.  "Okay, I guess," he sighed.  "Stark black isn't usually your color, Xan."

"Sorry, boss.  It's this or silk jammies."  She bent to check her heels, listening to Jigen hiss.  "What?"

"Tops of your stockings are showing."

"Guys, this is it for clothes," she reminded them.  "I can't fit into the kids' clothes."

"That's fine, we can deal with that," Lupin said, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her out.  "Kids, car," he ordered.

"We won't all fit in one car," Ishi said as he followed his father out the door, letting the girls get ahead of him.  It ended up being him and the girls, plus his father in the car.  He looked at his father.  "How's your driving?" he asked as the other adults took off.  Goemon groaned, shaking his head.  "Fine.  Everyone in!  Fortunately Uncle Jigen and Mom have taken mine into hand."  His father gave him a long look.  "Seriously.  Even in Roman traffic at rush hour.  Any idea where we're going to eat?  Arsene, did you manage to steal the credit card?"

"I stole one but not the unlimited," she offered, holding up her father's Visa card.  "I don't think he realizes it's gone yet."

Goemon snatched it as he got into the passenger's seat.  "Buckle up, just in case."

"Father, I drive like a Roman driver," he promised as he slid in and started the engine.

"That is what I worry about, son."  He grabbed the bar over the door as his son revved the engine then carefully pulled out of the garage.  His son took a deep breath before pulling into the manic traffic pattern.  "Someone pick somewhere close," he said, closing his eyes tightly shut when someone cut them off.

"Dial the parents, ask them where we're eating," Ishi ordered calmly, flipping the driver off in the finest Italian fashion before pulling around him and cutting off someone else.

"Son, I don't care where we eat, just get us there in one piece," his father ground out.  His teeth were clenched tightly together and his eyes were still squeezed shut.  "Preferably soon, son."

"Sure, dad.  Suggest that nice place we had the last time, 'Lis," he called back.

Melissa listened to her father.  "They said since we're all dressed up that we're going to eat at that neat French place Mom likes."  She hung up, grabbing onto Lotus' arm as Ishi turned the car around and headed back in the other direction, sticking his arm out the window to flip off drivers who honked at him for his outrageous driving.

"No tickets, son. You do not have a license," Goemon let pass through his teeth.

"I do so.  It's a wonderful fake," he assured him as he sped up to get in front of another car so he could take a corner like everyone else was doing.  Lotus giggled.  "Am I or am I not just like every other driver out here?"

"Oh, you are.  Insane," Arsene agreed lightly.  She was gripping Melissa's arm since they were in a loop and headed in the other direction in a moment.  "Ooh, slingshot!  That's where the amusement parks got it from," she said once they made it through the backward 's' curve.   "There it is!" she said excitedly.  Ishi actually used his blinker and slowed down to make it into the parking lot, parking very evenly between two high-end sports cars.

Goemon got out of the car, falling to the ground.  "Never again, son.  Someone will be driving us all back to the hotel."

"He did drive just like ever other maniac on the road," Melissa offered as she helped him up.  They gathered around the trunk as Jigen pulled in at top speed and parallel parked with a screech of brakes.  "Or just like him," she offered with a grin for her father as he got out and let their mother out.

"Um, Dad, Uncle G is kinda car sick.  We might want to start with soup," Arsene said as she came up to curl up against his free side.  "He didn't like Roman traffic patterns."

Jigen patted Ishi on the back.  "Did you keep up?"

"I acted just like one of them," he said proudly.  "I even cut off a cop."

Lupin chuckled and patted him on the back of the head.  "Good job, Ishi.  Goemon, we'll let you drive on the way back."

"Going ten miles an hour in Rome's traffic will get one killed," Xander reminded them.  "One of us will drive them back."

"You got lost the last three times we were in the city, Mom," Melissa reminded her, smirking at her father.  She opened the door, letting them inside.

Jigen spoke in rapid Italian to the hostess, getting them a good seat in the little used patio area.

Outside, Ray Vecchio pulled his car up into the parking lot, shaking his head.  "Those people are insane! I thought Chicago after a Bull's game was bad!"

"Welcome to Rome," Zenigata said dryly.  "It's always like this."

"I was impressed that the kid managed to keep up so well," Ray Kowalski noted.  "He drove like a pro."  They got out and took a deep breath of fresh air, then coughed at the exhaust fumes.  "Are we really going to try this tonight, sir?"

"Yes, we are," he growled, sneaking back that way.

Ray caught him and pointed at a marking on the building. "I'm not stepping foot in there, sir.  That's family run and owned.  I'm not getting capped by the mafia."

Zenigata gave the mark, then his cop, a long look.  "How do you know?"

"My father was a bit connected," he admitted.  "So were most of my friends.  It was a choice of being a cop or being a hood in my neighborhood."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "That's fine.  They still can't touch us."

Someone shot over their heads, making them duck.

"Never mind," Zenigata noted, getting back into the car.

"Hey!  You leave them the fuck alone!" Xander yelled from the patio.  "I don't touch your toys!"  The hitter looked at her so she stomped over there, grabbing him by the chin.  "You do not play with my toys.  Do you understand, little boy?  I am worse than your mother ever had nightmares about you dating."

He pulled away.  "Who are you?"

"Sylvia."

He bowed.  "Then I'll leave them in your hands, ma'am," he said respectfully.  "By the way, the boss said he'd like to see you."

"Fine, I'll moon him later," she said dryly.  "Leave those three alone.  They're ours.  They're our toys.  We respect them, they're at the top of their game and they make us come up with some outrageous shit.  Got it?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Tonight we're having a dinner with the kids, then we're taking them to school tomorrow.  If he wants an interview, he can call my boss.  Have a good evening."  She walked back, waving at the cops.  "He won't hurt you.  Have a nice night, guys.  See you at the next con."   She smoothed her skirt as she sat down.  "A meeting was requested.  I told him to call you, Lupin."

"That's fine, dear."  He kissed her gently.  "You are worse than most mother's nightmares," he agreed with a bright grin.

"True, mine would be rolling in her grave," Jigen agreed.  He looked at his daughter.  Then decided to tell her about the family later that night while Lupin was wearing himself out.  Melissa smiled at him so he winked at her.  "Don't spill anything."

"Yes, dad.  How early are we leaving tomorrow?"

"You've got to be there by three and it's a six hour trip," Lupin told her.  "Without breaks."

"So, three am?" Arsene suggested dryly.

"Probably," Jigen agreed, doing the math in his head.  The kids would whine if they didn't stop about every hour.  Each break got longer and longer.  "We need to decide on drivers too."

"Why don't I just portal us up there?" Lotus asked.

"Because part of the rep making stuff is having us there," Lupin told her.  "Otherwise you're going to have to validate yourself a lot."

"It's not like we can't prove who we are," Arsene pointed out.

"Dear, the way this works is that the kids will score you on your presentation and name," Xander reminded her.  "Since this is a vocational school in your chosen field you can't just live off your dad's name.  You'll have to be Lupin the Fourth and Lupin's little girl both."

"Point, but still," she complained.  "It'd save so much trouble.  Ishi could get us up there."

"I don't know where there is," he pointed out.  "Not that I'd care to do that."

"One of us will drop you off," Jigen promised them.  "At least.  If not all of us."  Lupin's phone rang. "That was quick."

"The hitter was higher class.  He had on a silk tie and a silk shirt," Xander told him.  "This is a family business as well."  She looked at the kids.  "We'll call tonight.  There may be rules we're not knowledgeable about yet."

"Good point," Arsene sighed, slumping some.  "I hate going to school.  It sucks."

"Yeah, but you need the contacts, there's still stuff you can learn, and I want you somewhere safe where you can play," Xander reminded her.  "Period.  End of discussion."

"We want to go, it's just that first week," Melissa offered.

"It's not going to be any easier this time since you're coming in during the break," Lupin told them, listening to the man on the other end of the phone. "No, the kids start the Academy tomorrow.  Yeah, there."  He grinned at his daughter.  "Sure.  We might be a bit busy however."  He looked at Ishi.  "Yeah, that was the Fourteenth.  Why?  He cut you off?"  He chuckled, kicking Ishi under the table and shaking his head.  "He's sorry."

"No I'm not.  Was he the guy that I flipped off for daring to honk at me for doing what everyone else was doing?"  Lupin nodded.  Ishi shrugged. "Oh well."

"Sure.  Yeah, we'll see you at dessert."  He hung up.  "We'll be getting a short visit during dessert.  Try not to spill stuff on yourself, kids and Xander.  I agree, Ishi.  He shouldn't have honked."  He smirked at Jigen.  "He was very complimentary otherwise, said he was just like every other insane maniac on the road."

"I'm slower in other places," Ishi assured him.  "I even used my blinker when I turned in here."

"Good job, kiddo," Jigen agreed.  "Goemon, are you fit to eat yet?"

"Yes," he said, sounding like he had pulled himself back together.  "I believe I'll take a taxi back to the hotel."

"They're worse," the adults said in unison.

Marcus jogged over and pulled a free chair from another table so he could join them.  "I just got a call to join you."  He looked at the children.  "My, we all look very grown up today.  I almost feel underdressed."  He smirked at Xander. "You look quite lovely tonight as well, Sylvia."

"Who called you?" Arsene asked.

"The local Don called the main house, said I should probably join the group.  Oh, Jigen, you missed it.  Sarah bit one of the kitsune today.  He came down to play and nipped her so she pulled his head down to bite him on the ear.  Bix had to remove her from his ear and she did apologize."

"Will that start a war?" Arsene asked.

"No, love.  The little one's nanny was there and they were laughing about it.  Stand up, let me see."  She stood up and he smirked.  "Very adult, Arsene.  Very pretty on you.  You look quite grown up."

"You're laying it on a bit thick, been drinking?" Ishi asked.  His father pinched him.  "Sorry.  Had to be said."

"No," he admitted with a smirk.  "I jut managed to master something incredible.  I managed to make an omelette properly and not burn it."

"Congratulations," Lupin praised.  "They're starting school tomorrow."

"Good!  I'm glad the Academy took them, even though they are so much better trained than most of the graduates."  He patted Ishi on the back.  "You should find no problem making friends.  Just be yourself.  Your lady-friend will be within thirty minutes from you and your schools do visit town at the same time.  Oh, I've got the webcams you asked for, Melissa.  They're back on my bed.  I'll bring them up tomorrow."

"Thank you, Uncle Marcus," she said with a smirk.  "That should solve most moping Ishi problems."

"Yes, it should," Goemon agreed.  He hoped his son didn't pick up a spare girlfriend at the school, and said a silent prayer that his son hadn't been taking those sort of lessons from Lupin or Xander.  "Are you packed, children?"

"Mom had us pack as we shopped," Lotus told him.  "How about you, Ishi?"

"I'm good on most things, I only had to do underwear shopping," he admitted.

"Which means you need a lift home to make sure you get everything," Xander said dryly.  He nodded.  "Sure, we'll work on that later."

"I'll take him back with me," Marcus offered.

"You're a bit too happy at the moment," Jigen told him.  "Let's let someone more calm do it."

"I'll do it for him if I need to," Xander offered.  "I know what all his new clothes look like since I bought them."  Ishi gave her a look.  "Plus your workout stuff," she agreed lightly, smiling at him.  "Just think, someone else can run the kata's now."

"That'd be a nice thing," Ishi agreed.  "To be learning instead of the teacher for a bit."

"It would," Lotus agreed.

Her father nodded.  "I feel the same way sometimes.  That's why I let you four do the teaching every now and then."

"Should we make a grand entrance tomorrow, dad?" Arsene asked.

"Well, I don't think we'll want to hold a parade," he said sarcastically, smirking at his daughter.  "But I do think that one of the more known people in the group should be there with you, just to give you a boost in credibility right off the bat."

"I say we open a portal and walk them through," Xander offered.  "That way we appear to be special and all that, and almost no one up there will be able to say how we got up there, and walk the kids through."

"If you do that, can we rent a car up that way for us?" Ishi asked.  "Just so we can escape now and then?"

"No, and there's no rental places up there either," Lupin said smugly.  "Which means you guys won't be able to get out and pull jobs."

"Bet me, there's locals who have cars," Melissa noted dryly.  She smirked at her father.  "Are you doing my driving lessons this summer, dad?"

"If you can get to the point where you're hitting the targets most of the time I can do that," he promised, patting her on the hand.  "Waitress."

One of them rushed over, taking the group's orders.  She smiled at the youngsters with the adults, they were very polite and very knowledgeable about what went into certain dishes.  She headed into the kitchen to hand that order in, finding a police officer in there.  She handed it directly to the chef.  "For the group on the patio."

"They're getting visited later, watch for the boss," he ordered.  "Go back out there."  She glanced at the cop and he shook his head.  "They're here for Paulo."

"Fine.  He's out front smoking," she told the cop.   He nodded and followed her that way.  He started toward the thieves on the patio but the young Asian girl got up like she was going to the bathroom.  Time seemed to stop as the girl said 'excuse me' then she went onto the bathroom.  Suddenly, the officer didn't seem interested in the internationally wanted felons on the patio, he didn't seem to see them, and she really wanted to give them excellent service that night.  She showed him outside then went to nag the chef for their salads.

"Interesting, I've never seen on the fly compulsions before," Xander said, glancing at Marcus with a smirk.

"I have, but I hadn't realized she was that adept yet," Marcus admitted dryly.  "Oh, well.  I'm sure we'll get excellent service tonight."

"Was that a bad thing for her to do?" Goemon asked.

"No.  She told the cop to ignore us and the waitress to give excellent service tonight to get a good tip," Xander said with a small shrug.  "It'd only be wrong if she was making them do things against their will."

"Hmm," he said with a frown at his daughter as she came back.  "Daughter?"

"Father, I didn't make them do anything," she pointed out.  "Just what they'd normally do.  The cop couldn't take us all on by himself anyway."  She smoothed her napkin across her lap again as the waitress came back with their drinks and salads.  She took hers with a smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  You guys are so cute."  She pinched Ishi's cheek then left to make sure the other tables were still fine.

"I'll have to remember how to do that," Xander said as she tucked it.  "It's a handy damn thing."

Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "It is," he agreed.  "Thanks, Lotus.  We didn't snack with Ishi earlier."

"Eh, not a problem. I was hungry."  She dug in, eating heartily.  She was a growing girl and needed the food just as much as her brother did.

Marcus smirked at Jigen.  "This is what I love about this family.  No matter what, it's mostly okay."

Jigen nodded.  "Usually."  He looked behind them as someone joined them on the patio.  "You're early tonight."

"My son has colic, this is saving my sanity," the local Don said as he pulled a chair over.  "Go ahead and eat.  I've already eaten," he assured them with a smile.  "Young ladies, quite a nice job you've done recently.  My uncle said to tell you he's very sorry he said those things about you."

Arsene snorted.  "No he's not.  If he was he'd be making the apology himself instead of you doing it for him," she pointed out sweetly, smirking at him.  "Parents only make apologies for their kids.  He's an adult, he can offer his own.  Or else I'll remember him fondly."

The local Don chuckled.  "I'm sure you will, young lady.  Let me guess, you're Jigen's?"

"No, I am," Melissa told him.  "That's Lupin the Fourth."

"Ah, I should have realized, she does have her father's mouth."  He looked at Xander.  "And her mother's beauty."

"Thank you.  You're still not getting the egg back."

"Who was the other thief?"

"I don't know," she admitted with a small shrug.  "Not my concern."

"Good point."  He smiled at Lupin.  "Your crew is very good.  Would you take a commission to bring my niece to her chosen convent tomorrow as well?"

"Our kids have to start the Academy tomorrow," Lupin reminded him.   "You don't have guards?"

"She's having doubts and her mother is pushing this choice on her."

"And you want her to what?  Disappear?" Xander asked quietly.

"I'd rather see her be happy.  She won't be happy being a nun, nor a society wife.  She wants to go to college and I agree that it would suit her.  She's not the sort to sit home and be a mother.  Her mother wants to buy her place into heaven however."  He spread his hands.  "It's creating a conflict."

"But if she gets away from us, that'll wreck our rep and you can shimmy away from blame," Arsene noted.  "Not real fair to us."

"Yes, but I wouldn't have to punish you if she got away from you," he noted calmly.

"Good point," Arsene agreed.  "How about a simple 'running away with a boy' scenario?"

"She's under heavy guard.  It would take a very good thief to get her out of there.  Besides, she likes girls."

"What does she want to become?" Melissa asked.

"We're not sure.  Maybe a teacher."  He shrugged.  "She'll figure that part out."

"Does she have a means of surviving in the real world?" Xander asked.

"Yes, she's got a trust.  She'll be old enough to use it in two days.  She's got to go to Switzerland to sign for it actually."

"Which college?" Ishi asked.

"One of the ones in the US."

"Then we've only got to get her to Switzerland and hide her for two days," Xander said thoughtfully.

"It could take two days to get her up there if you take the back way," Melissa offered.  "Take the back roads and things."

"Her mother would claim she was kidnaped.  There are those who want to help her within the family but they won't go against her mother.  I may not like my sister, but she is quite...strong willed at times."

"Easily handled," Lupin noted.  "Next problem?" he asked with a smirk.

"Nothing more than that.  Just a simple request if you can pull it off."

"Oh, we can.  I could do that alone," Ishi told him.  "Getting her out of there will be the harder part than getting her up there."

"She doesn't have a passport or anything."

"We have spares," Melissa told him calmly.

"Thank you, children.  Thank you as well, Lupin."  He shook his hand.  "I've always liked doing business with you.  Sylvia, go ahead and keep the egg.  My uncle is presently fuming over it."  He winked at her.  "You really should wear more showy pieces.  You look adorable like that."

"Mine," Jigen growled.

"Fine. Sorry, Jigen.  Have fun with your children tonight.  I know them starting school can be emotional and trying."

"Hell no, we're throwing a party tomorrow night," Arsene snorted.  "No more people watching what we eat, what we wear, and who we chat with."

"I told you I didn't want you to talk with that guy earlier.  He was creepy," Xander reminded her.  "I was right too.  He's got a warrant out for his arrest for killing his last wife, who was about nineteen.  They suspect she wasn't his first."

"Ick," Arsene sighed.  "We were only talking about the murals though."

"Whine," Lupin told her.  "No talking to predators, daughter."

"Yes, daddy."  She smiled sweetly at him.  "Does that mean I've got to be mute at the Academy tomorrow?"  His eyes narrowed and she smirked at him.  "They would fit."

Jigen smacked her on the back of the head. "Behave."

"Fine.  I'll *try* to be good, but I *am* a Lupin."

The local Don snickered at that.  "I can't wait to see your formal debut, young lady.  You'll do your family name a great credit I'm sure.  All of you will."  He nodded politely.  "Have a good night."  He left them there, going out to his car laughing all the way.

"Don't worry, you'll see it," she said once he was gone, picking up her water to sip at.  "Dad, do we get to change some notions about us being monkeys imitating the great masters?"

"Not tonight," he told her firmly.

"Yes, daddy."

"Thank you, daughter.  Xander, eat?"

"I am," she promised, digging in again.  "Interesting.  How were you planning on it, Ishi?"

"Easy.  Melissa, wouldn't she be in the ivory tower we were looking at earlier?"

"Yeah, a real rook place," she agreed.  "Lots of ivy as well."  She thought quickly.  "Easily doable.  We can do it on the way back to the house if you're driving."

"The car may be a rental, but really, guys," Jigen complained.  "You can't have her conveniently 'steal' it, that's a bit overdone."

"Who said anything about stealing it?" Melissa asked him.  She smiled at her uncle, who raised an eyebrow.  "Permission?"

"One hour or we'll do it tomorrow," Lupin told her.

"Yes, dad," they all agreed.

***

Lupin looked up as the portal opened, getting up to walk his daughter through with her trunk rolling behind her.  "Sorry, we're a bit late today," he said as he shook the Headmistress' hand.  He smirked at the watching families.  "Yes, my daughter is old enough," he said proudly, letting her walk in front of him.  "Lupin, I want you to be a good girl.  Learn all you can to finish prepping your skills and we'll do stuff again this summer.  Maybe even in the US."

"Sure, dad."  She hugged him, subtly pickpocketting him.  He pulled back and took back his wallet. "Hey, I had to try," she reminded him with a smirk.

"Good point," Xander agreed as she walked Lotus and Ishi through.  Goemon had their things.  "Here's both Goemon's.  Lotus and Ishi.  Ishi was just presented with his sword," she said proudly.

"Congratulations," the Headmistress praised.  "I'm happy for you.  Probably one of the youngest in the family."

"The second youngest," Goemon admitted.  "My grandfather had his sword given to him on his fourteenth birthday because he was an orphan."  He dropped their things and hugged his children.  "Behave. Make me proud.  Write often."

"Yes, father," they agreed, grinning at him.

Jigen strolled in with his baby girl, who was snuggled up to his side.  "The last one," he said with a smirk.  "You be good, 'Lis.  Make me proud and work on that one problem."  She nodded, smiling up at him.  "And no boys yet."

"Of course not, dad."  She hugged him.  "Our allowance cards?"

Xander pulled a package out of her inner jacket pocket.  "Yours," she said, handing them to her.  "Watch Arsene's chocolate habit."

One of the other parents coughed.  "Who are you?" she asked them.

"That's my father, Lupin the Third," Arsene said loud enough to be heard.  "I'm Lupin the Fourth.  This is my planner and backup, Melissa Jigen, and my backup gunman and samurai, Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth.  That's his sister Lotus.  She's an occasional helper."  The mother's mouth fell open. Arsene smiled at her, a real, genuine smile.  "Don't worry, we won't corrupt your son or daughter, ma'am.  I've got my team.  I'll only help them if they ask me for it."

The Headmistress hid her smile at the audacity of this one.  "Come along, children.  Let's put your things in your rooms."  She noticed the portals closing and looked at Lupin.

"Marcus is back there," he assured her.

"Fine.  Unfortunately we're going to have to put you on different floors.  Ishi will be in the boy's dorms.  You girls are not allowed to visit him."

Arsene snorted.  "Yeah, because that'll be such a challenge?"

"We do have alarms and things, dear," the Headmistress cautioned.

"And?  Worse than the Louvre?  Or worse than the Smithsonian or National History Museum in DC?"

"Well, probably not," she admitted.  "Fine, but if you're caught you will be punished."

"As long as you don't tie us up outside and whip us, it should be fine," Melissa assured her quietly.  "We'd expect it if we got caught."

"No, we prefer chores as punishment, not beatings," the Headmistress assured her. "That changed the last century."  She smiled at her.  "That is very true, we wouldn't expect you not try the limits of the school's alarms."

"Eh, if we get caught, we're doing something wrong," Arsene assured her.  "Anything against visiting the other girls?"

"No, nothing," she promised.  She led them to the boy's doorway, nodding at the woman standing there.  "This is Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth."

"Hmm."  She looked at him.  "You may not have weapons in your room."

"My sword is a family heirloom and I have earned it," he said coolly.  "You touch it over your dead body."  His father let out a small grunt of displeasure.  "Making myself known now.  I'm not a newbie to the field," he noted calmly.  "The same as I'm excused from range classes because I'm already excellent in there."

"That is true.  He is permitted to have his sword and his gun in his room.  He has the qualifications to use both," the Headmistress told her.  "I'm sure the other students won't dare to touch them."

"Over their dead bodies," Ishi agreed dryly, bowing to her.  "My room is where?  So the girls know where they have to break into?"

"This way."  She led him and his father and mother down there, opening a door to a small private room.  "There you go.  The closet is at the foot of the bed.  You can move furniture if you want and are able."

He walked in, testing the bed.  "Hmm, we'll need better mattresses, mom."

"Of course, Ishi."  She hugged him. "Be a good boy," she whispered.  "No more threats."

"Just stating my case up front," he promised.  He set his trunk on his bed and took the briefcase she had in her hands.  "Thanks, Mom."  He kissed her on the cheek, then hugged his father.  "Should I follow you?"

"Yes, son, you probably should," Goemon agreed, walking out with him.  "Try not to have to prove your threats, son."

"Of course not, father."  He locked his door and followed them out to meet back up with the girls and walk them to their doors.  On the other side of the school but not that hard to get to.  The girls dropped their stuff off and came back out to walk their parents back to the courtyard.  They made sure a lot of people saw them with their parents and that their parents were giving them final instructions, then sent them off.

Arsene yawned.  "Okay, I'm tired now.  We should nap before dinner."

"My mattress sucks," Ishi told her.

"Ours are okay," Melissa offered.

"He's not allowed in your dorm rooms either, ladies," the Headmistress reminded him.  "Ishi, I'll try to get you a better mattress tonight.  You're in that double room?"  He shook his head.  "Fine.  I'll send a new one up.  Can you make due for tonight?"

"Probably.  Thank you, ma'am.  We're going to rest.  We had to go prove a point last night to someone who thought we were trained monkeys."  He smiled as he led the girls back to their doors, dropping them off before going back to his room.  He didn't have a key, but he could lock and unlock doors with a pick.  Apparently none of the other students dared or could yet.  He pulled out his cloak and laid it over top of his mattress then laid on top of it.  He could nap on this, it was soft fleece the color of midnight sky on moon dark.  Someone knocked on his door.  "Napping."

"Sorry.  Who are you?" the boy who stuck his head in asked.

"Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth."

"Oh.  You're THE Goemon's son?"

"Oldest son.  There's a few of us," he said tiredly.  "Why?"  He looked at the boy.  "Problems with my dad?"

"No, just wondering.  Who did you come in with?"

"Lupin the Fourth, Melissa Jigen, and my sister Lotus Goemon."

"Oh, wow," he breathed.  "I'll let you catch a nap.  I'll knock on your door at dinner time.  Have a nice nap, sir."  He closed the door and went to report to the older boys.  "That's Goemon the Fourteenth."

One of the older ones looked impressed.  "Interesting.  So the girls he came in with were Lupin the Fourth, Jigen the Second, and his sister?"  He nodded.  "Very interesting.  They're already trained.  They're here for a year of contact making.  We really should see how good they are."

Arsene strolled in, smirking at them.  "Why?  We're already damn good.  Did you know that you can pick the main door's lock with a piece of foil and a piece of gum?  Which one's Ishi's room?  We found a spare mattress."

"I'll lead you back," the younger boy said, leading her back there.  He tapped.  "Sir, it's your friends with a new mattress."

"Cool."  He opened the door and kicked his trunk out of the way so they could flop it on top of the old one.  Then he spread his cloak on it and climbed back into bed.  "Night, Arsene."

"Night, Ishi.  Have happy dreams.  We've got formal range qualifications tonight according to some of our girls."

"I thought we already did."

"Maybe.  We might need to check."  She smirked at the boy.  "You're cute.  Newbie?"  He nodded quickly.  "Learn what you can from your teachers, but keep in mind that in the field is much different from the classroom."  She left, going back to her room.  The boy's monitor gave her a shocked look as she came out.  "We found a spare mattress for Ishi and delivered it.  Can you tell the Headmistress?"

"Fine," she squeaked.  "You're a Lupin?"  She nodded, smirking. "I attended with your father."

"Cool.  Did he drive you insane?  I'm nearly exactly like him, only female."  She strolled off, going to take a tour on her own.

The monitor went to talk to the Headmistress.  "Are we giving Lupin's daughter free access to her partner?"

"No, she's agreed that if she got caught she'd take her punishment," she said dryly.  "They already got caught?"

"She was delivering a mattress to her partner."

"That's fine. I'll excuse that one this time.  It saves me the problem of finding a spare."  She smiled at the next parent coming in.  "Hello.  Welcome back."

***

Lupin looked up as someone tapped on his shoulder, smirking at the local Don.  "What did they do last night?"

"They went to visit my uncle.  They signed their names on his new wife's back and wrote a nice note about how the safe was cheap and how cute the nursery was, wishing him much fun with the new baby."  Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "He's not impressed, Lupin."

"Yay.  The kids do what they want to," Jigen reminded him as he sat down.  "All we knew is that they left for a bit then came back about an hour later."

"They wrote on the old guy's wife's back," Lupin told him.  "Signed their names."  The Don handed over a folded piece of paper.  "Hnm, Lupin the Fourth, Jigen the Second, and Goemon the Fourteenth congratulate you on your taste of wives, she's very pretty.  Unfortunately your safe is not up to decent standards. You might want to get a new one," he read, starting to smirk more now.  That was so like his little girl.  "Fortunately we made sure that nothing valuable was left in such a vulnerable container.  Ooh, and further down according to the note, and in another handwriting, someone said the nursery was very cute.  The pink flowers and bunnies were adorable."  He handed it to the other father.

"Probably Lotus," Jigen snorted, reading it for himself.  He shook his head as he handed it over, smirking at the Don.  "Does he still think that they're imitating little whores and trained monkeys?"

"No," he admitted.  "He's now beefed up his security and made sure his wife hadn't been touched."

"Melissa wouldn't touch her against her will and Lupin the Fourth's presently liking boys," Jigen assured him.  "Ishi's got a girl and Lotus is straight."

"Good to know," the Don said sarcastically.  "It made him paranoid.  He wants to yell at you in person about your children by the way."

Lupin snorted.  "Sure, we'll go visiting," he promised.  "I doubt the kids did more than take the safe."  The Don looked stunned and he laughed.  "What?  Did you expect anything other than that from us?"

"No," he squeaked.  "Leave me out of this.  I don't want to know.  I never heard that," he said as he stood up and walked away.

"No wonder Lotus kept yawning," Jigen said.

"Hmm.  Where is Xander?"

"Not a clue," Jigen admitted.  He checked his watch, then pulled his phone. It'd been two hours since she'd gone off on her own.  If it was a job she'd be done and if not, she was hopefully shopping.  He got her voicemail.  "It's me, babe.  We're having lunch.  Come join us."  He hung up.  "Voicemail."

"Hmm.  Hopefully she'll find something pretty to tithe us with."  He sipped his coffee.  "You didn't tell her where?"

"She knows where we haunt in town," Jigen reminded him.  He looked at the waitress and nodded, she knew them and knew what they'd want.  She brought him his usual coffee and patted him on the shoulder as she walked past him.  "Thanks."  He took a sip.  "Great as usual."

"Definitely."  Lupin sipped his own.  "Where do you think she is?"

"Hopefully on her way here," Jigen noted.  He looked over as the doors opened and Xander strolled in with her bigger purse.  She had been carrying a smaller one earlier.  "Get some shopping done?"

"A bit," she offered. "Should we send the kids a new mattress?"

"No, they've got spares around there," Lupin promised.  He looked at her purse. "That doesn't really go with the outfit."

"No, but it holds all the stuff I went shopping for," she said smugly.  "Feed me?" she pleaded, winking at Lupin.

"We'll do that later, dear.  Eat for now. You'll need it," Lupin promised, starting to get hot.  She had pulled a job.  He couldn't wait to see what she had gotten for him this time.

"We've still got to get the other two their rifles for their squads," she reminded them.

"We'll do that on the way to the hotel," Jigen promised, stroking down her arm.  "Were you a good girl?"

"No, I've been a bit bad, Jigen," she admitted, blinking her big, brown eyes at him.  "I was a very naughty girl.  I should be punished for being so naughty."  Lupin let out a visceral moan and Jigen had to shift in his seat.  "Are you sure you can't feed me now?"

"Hurry up, we're going," Lupin ordered, his voice raspy.  Jigen gulped his coffee and put some money on the table, not caring how much it was as they led their woman out of the restaurant and to the car.

The waitress came back to get the money.  "They paid two hundred bucks for two cups of coffee and a sandwich Lupin didn't eat?" she said, sounding amused.  "Wow, that woman of theirs is something."  She took it back to the register, keeping her tip.  It was very generous of them.  She listened to the radio, smirking when she heard that one of the jewelry houses had been robbed.  "Ah, no wonder," she sighed.  "She's hot for them."  She went to her next table, refilling their coffee cups.

***

Xander laid out the five pieces of jewelry she had kept, letting them see them.  "You can each pick one."

"That's all you got?" Lupin asked, looking at them.  They were exquisite pieces.  All stunning and full of diamonds.  He picked up one he liked, looking at Jigen, who picked the one he liked, and Goemon picked one for him and Marcus, since he wasn't here he'd have to share.  He was still rated as a student anyway.

"No, the rest went to someone's house.  Call my daughter a talentless whore again," she said sweetly.

Jigen looked stunned.  "You did what?"

She smirked at him, lying back on the bed.  "I made sure that someone would find them in *just* the right spot.  His wife was very nice and sweet too.  Got off from a kiss."

"Lupin, why are you letting her take up your old kissing bandit routine?" Jigen demanded.

"I got there and she was doing it on her own," Xander admitted.  "I only kissed her to calm her down again and she got off from it."  She held up her hands.  "Sniff to check?"  Lupin laid down next to her and licked them, making her moan.  "Hmm, I needed that."

"I'll leave you alone," Goemon said as he left the room, closing and locking the door behind himself.

Xander smirked at Jigen.  "I left them on the bed with her while she slept the sleep of the deeply sated.  But a few pieces may be missing.  She didn't want me to make her a poor widow."

He smirked at her.  "Naughty girl.  Taking a Don's wife and making her want you more then setting him up.  Naughty, Xander."  He leaned down to kiss her, getting grabbed and tossed onto the bed to be ravished by her.

"Ooooh, someone got hot watching the pregnant wife go off," Lupin teased, getting her out of her jacket and undoing her dress.  "We need to go shopping for you later, Xander."

"I sent out the laundry," she admitted between kisses.  She wiggled her butt, letting Lupin know what he could play with.  He was very good behind her.  Besides, it was Jigen's turn to get her front.

***

In a distant place, a certain God looked at his favorite pawns and smirked.  Yes, it was all good with him.  And perhaps he could make it more interesting.  That one had desired and wished silently for another one.  Perhaps.  Then again, his choker was coming off soon.  He'd have to consider it carefully.

Powerful Ones

Arsene looked up as their Practical Education teacher walked into the room with a large box.  "Need help carrying?  You can have Ishi.  He's moping again," she offered generously.  Ishi glared at her.  "You are."  She smirked at him.

"No, I've got it, dear," she assured her with a smile.  She looked at the small class, counting heads.  "Einhart?"

"Bathroom," most of the class chorused.  The poor kid had gotten food poisoning a few days earlier so they all knew where he was hiding.

"Perfectly understandable.  Someone explain this exercise to him when he gets here."  She opened the box and pulled out a doll.  "We're going to learn how to do childcare.  Sometimes, you'll have a child during a hostage situation or even as your hostage and you'll need to learn how to deal with them.  Children scream, cry, wet, fuss, poo, and all manner of annoying things, but if they're hurt then their parents will try for you, thereby causing a bigger problem."  She saw the one student's hand go up.  "Yes, Arsene?"

"For those of us who have younger brothers and sisters, may we be excused from this?" Arsene asked.  All the students stared at her so she shrugged.  "Goemon's got more kids and we've got little brothers and sisters.  We've all changed diapers, walked the floor with colicky babies, and seen some of the most disgusting things in the world.  Alex likes to lick ashtrays."

"Yu seems to like to lap dive," Ishi said with tolerant fondness.  His little brother had tried to steal his girlfriend but had given her up for the reasonable price of a story and his teddybear.

The teacher smirked at them. "Then I'll expect your group to be flawless in this exercise."

Melissa looked at her, then at Lotus, who was scowling.  "For some, it's probably not something we care to repeat," she said gently.

"I'm fine," Lotus said, still scowling.

"Lotus?" Ishi asked.

"I'm fine!" she snapped, getting up and stomping out.

Arsene looked at him.  "Go find her. This'll be your duty."  He nodded, getting up to track her.  "Sorry, but her mother... well, let's say she basically gave up during her last pregnancy.  Her mother was a bitch most of the time and got even worse during that one.  She turned Lotus into the nanny, even though we had one.  Fujiko wouldn't let her help and forced Lotus and us to help because she refused to do anything."

"Kenji screamed for almost a full day straight because she refused to take care of him and we were trying to make her," Melissa said quietly.  "Just the normal things that babies have, but she read and listened to her discman instead of changing him or feeding him."

The teacher frowned.  "Fujiko Mine?"

"Yeah, their mother," Arsene agreed bitterly.

"I never pictured her being *that* selfish."

"And then some," Arsene assured her.  "So please excuse them or have them work with us.  That's not an issue."

"We will not be discussing this among the other students," the teacher said firmly.  "She's not the first one who had to be the mother much too young.  Fine.  Do it for forty-eight hours and I'll pass you."

"Sure," Arsene agreed calmly.  "Does it cry or are we supposed to pretend?"

"No, they cry.  They wet after you feed them."

"Do they aim it at your head?" Melissa asked.  "That was Yu's favorite trick."

"Alex's too and I never knew girls could aim that way," Arsene offered with a grin.  "Got dad the only time he changed her diaper."

"Yeah, I remember that pout," Melissa agreed with a smug look for her sister.  "Remember my dad having to do it for him because he ran away screaming?"

"Oh, intensely.  But Mom proved her point.  She's not just the mom and she should be worshiped for putting up with those diapers.  It really did look some sort of biological weapon."

The teacher snickered.  "There are probably people who have thought of that."  She handed them each a doll.  "Pick one of the group to work with this time and be ready to give advice, ladies."

"The tape goes in the back and hitches on the front," Arsene told the other students.

"Those little cloths will not clean with the first one," Melissa added.   Lotus stomped back in with Ishi.  "Which one of us do you want to work with to show we can do this?"

"I don't care," she said quietly, sitting down again.  "I'm sorry, I had a sudden urge to go to the bathroom."

"That's fine, Lotus.  You're excused," the teacher promised, going back to her seat.  "Your brother is where?"

"The Headmistress stopped him to see why he was out of class."  She waved a hand at the door.  "He's out there somewhere."

"Thank you.  Work with one of your siblings and be prepared to answer questions, all right?"  She nodded, looking calm again.  "Thank you, dear."  She handed out more of the dolls to groups of students.  Then she got the small bags of gear for them, handing them out.  "In there is almost everything you'll need.  The formula you'll be using is water.  You won't have to worry about anything besides them wetting.  It's realistic but not quite that realistic," she offered with a smile.  One of the dolls started to fuss.  "All right.  That's a crying baby.  Do something before it gets worse.  For the rest of you, you'll be parents for the next week.  That does include bringing them to classes by the way."

"That's a hungry cry," Melissa told the new parent of the doll.  She checked the diaper bag.  "Only six diapers?"

"You shouldn't have to change more than one every six hours," she said with a smirk.  "Unlike real children, who can go through four in an hour."

"Or more," Arsene said dryly.  "Especially after eating the blue crayon and freaking out the father."

Lotus snickered.  "I've never seen that look on Father's face before," she agreed.

"It was matched by the look on mine," Melissa agreed with a smirk at Ishi as he came in.  "Whichever of us that Lotus doesn't want, you get."

"Fine.  We have visitors."  He sat down and looked at Lotus.  "And it's Mother."

"Got your sword?" Arsene asked.

"The Headmistress said we're not allowed to hurt her," he said patiently, sounding pissed.  "She's in the office."  He looked at his sister.  "Up to you.  I can go bitch her a new one by myself."  He looked at Arsene as she stood up.  "Later, Lupin.  Us first."

"Of course.  Find us if you need us," she promised.  "We can find a place to stuff the body."

Lotus stood up, picking up her bookbag.  "I'm sorry, but we have to go kill someone," she told the teacher.  "We'll see you next class if we're not in jail for homicide."  She walked out, leading the way to the spacious office the Headmistress used.  It was a former classroom by the size and it had the best view of the main gate.  The school looked like it had been part castle, part manor house and it showed that it had once been a private home before renovations were done because all the windows were large, ornate panes of glass.  She walked up the few stairs and tapped on the door before walking in.  "You needed to see us, Headmistress?" she asked calmly.

"Yes, dear.  Come in."  She smiled at them.  "Thank you, Ishi."

"Not a problem.  I let Lupin hold it for me.  She's good with them."  He sat down and looked at the other person in the office.  "You actually have balls.  I'm impressed," he said coldly.  "Is our father on the phone yet?"

"I've got Lupin but I couldn't get Goemon.  I heard him say something then something broke," the Headmistress offered.  "He's on the speaker phone."  She pushed the button.  "Both Goemon children are here, Lupin."

"Thanks," Jigen's voice said from the phone, sounding sarcastic.  "He went to calm down their father before he killed someone who was cutting the grass.  Kids, you okay?"

"We're doing baby care lectures in Practical Education," Lotus offered, taking a seat and moving it so she could stare out the window and past her mother as well.  "Why did you call this meeting, mother?"

"Because I want you two to come live with me for a year."

"Fat chance," Lotus said simply.  "Are we done now?"

"Lotus, you're a little girl.  You can't hope to learn everything about being a girl from Xander."

"Yes, I can.  What I can't, then I can pick up from Murami or someone else suitable.  So far she's handled all the other female questions I've had.  When it came time to put us all on birth control she was very gentle with us and took us to an excellent doctor, who also answered questions that we couldn't ask her.  Frankly, mother, I've learned more about women from Uncle Jigen than I have you."  Jigen's snort came across very well.

"Mother, you have nothing you could teach us," Ishi pointed out.

"I do have skills, son."

"Really?  Good enough to do the Tower of London?" Ishi asked snidely.  She glared at him and shook her head.  "Pity, Lupin the Fourth does and Lotus looked stunning in the coronet."  He stood up.  "Are we done now?" he asked coolly.  "I have sword practice next class and I'd like to calm down before then."

"We, brother."

"You can't use a sword, Lotus, you're a girl.  Girls can't be samurai."

"Said who?" Lotus snorted.  "Besides, who said I wanted to be a samurai, mother?  I'm a witch and we do have to use them sometimes for gathering and hunting things and in ceremonial practices."  She stood up.  "Are we finished?  I have something I'd rather be doing, like doing a root canal with a rusty nail through my asshole."  Jigen's choking came across very well too.  "By the way, mother.  You have no right to sell me off to some scuzzy old man who wants to hurt me night and day for shits and giggles.  I'd kill him very quickly."

"Lotus, you're not that good," Fujiko snorted.  The next thing she knew, she was on the ground with a knife at her throat and pinned so she couldn't move.  She stared up into her daughter's eyes.  "They've ruined you," she told her.

"No, mother, you ruined me.  I'm still a blood innocent, but I don't consider you human enough to care about."  She got off her with her brother's help.  "You'd be surprised at what I can do, mother.  I'm not some weak thing who depends on her tits to get by in life.  I have a very good mind, a very good body, a lot of training, and the ability to use it to protect myself.  Never come back.  You burned that bridge when you tried to have me snatched in Cairo."  She walked out, heading for the practice area.  It had things she could hit.

Ishi looked down at his mother.  "I used to worry about her becoming you, mother.  Fortunately she's taken every lesson from all our uncles and father about what sort of woman she's to be.  She'll be one who can depend on herself, not her attributes, to get what she wants and needs.  You get her over my cold, dead body.  And I am skilled enough to now possess my own sword."

She stood up.  "Already?"

He nodded. "It's amazing, between the three teachers, I'm good enough that they're trying to find things to teach me here.  Lupin, Jigen, and I are all more than good enough to have worked together already.  Lotus has as well," he noted coldly.  "You're dealing with a full group mother, plus the younger generation of the group.  Never come back.  Next time, I won't come unarmed, and I won't promise not to harm you physically."  He stepped back and bowed to the Headmistress.  "With your permission, I'm heading to the practice area to calm down before my next lesson in fencing."

"Go ahead, Ishi," she agreed, giving him a gentle smile.  "Try to calm your sister down as well."

"She's in the woods by now," he offered before leaving.

"Jigen, you've heard what the children said."

"I'm back," Lupin announced.  "And we had you on speaker on this side too once we found it.  I don't want Fujiko near the kids.  She's not allowed visitation and she's not allowed contact.  The only thing they can do is make her a mark."

Someone tapped on the door and Melissa walked in, pushing her hair back behind her ears.  "I bring a message from Lupin the Fourth."  She looked at Fujiko.  "You're a dumb bitch to have showed up at all after Cairo, Fujiko.  We know who turned that one person onto my mother.  We know exactly who turned Peter and we know exactly who made sure she'd be given a gas she was allergic to.  Arsene said you're dead to her and I agree.  If you come near us, we'll protect ourselves.  We're not children to be tormented by you."

"Calm down, 'Lis," Jigen said from the phone.  "You okay?"

"Feeling poisoned by being in the same country as her but otherwise fine.  We're safe here, dad."

"Yes, you are," the Headmistress agreed.  "You five are not allowed off campus without an escort and you're not to go off on jobs on your own.  You can wait until the field exercises this spring," she offered at the pout coming out, smiling slightly at her.  "You five are going to be running a group, leaving the teacher the more hopeless cases.  The only one who may check you off campus are your fathers or mother."  She smirked at her.  "And Lavelle of course," she added with a wink when Melissa opened her mouth. She looked at Fujiko.  "I believe the other parents, the ones with custody, and the children themselves have spoken, Fujiko.  Please leave."

"I will sue for custody."

"Do it, watch me prove you an unfit mother," Jigen growled.

"Even Pops said she's unfit," Lupin agreed.  "He'll stick up for the kids in this case as long as he doesn't have to see Arsene for a while."

"Did you guys sedate Mom? I haven't heard her yet," Melissa asked.

"We're on a job," Lupin told her.  "That one you found.  She's off being pretty and girlish."

"That's fine.  Tell her I want fudge."  Melissa smirked at the Headmistress.  "Can I tell the others?"

"Go ahead, dear."  She turned and jogged out.  "Fujiko, I'm having you banned from the school.  The guards will have a 'shoot to kill' order from now on.  Goemon has custody because you abandoned them.  The custodial parents have made themselves very plain in this matter.  Also, the fact that you tried to have your daughter stolen so she could be used is sickening.  As much as you trying for Sylvia was.  We all know about that by the way.  Lupin, how is she?"

"She's fine.  She was saved before they could hurt her.  Mostly by her own devices.  We got given the wrong directions," he admitted.   "She called for some help."

"So we heard.  Tell her I wouldn't mind her coming in to give a reality talk to the students.  You and Jigen either."  She hung up.  "You have two minutes to make it out the gate, Fujiko.  Otherwise I will be the one who shoots you."  Fujiko stomped off.  She dialed the guardhouse.  "The woman stomping off in a snit is Fujiko Mine, a former student.  If she comes back, you have my authority to shoot her.  She tried to sell her daughter off."  She hung up and leaned back, calming herself down.  No wonder they wanted the kids somewhere safer for a bit.  She'd have to talk her teachers into finding more advanced lessons for the kids to do.

***

Xander looked up and grinned at the big, bad man walking toward her chosen lunch spot.  "Hi," she said with a shy grin and a light blush.  "How are you today?  It's a very pretty day, isn't it?"

Goemon sat beside her on the park bench, grunting in annoyance.  "Fujiko just showed up at the school for Lotus."

"Hmm, I feel sorry for her then.  She all right?"

"She's fine," he noted calmly.  "The children told her off.  The school has banned her.  You've been invited to give lectures to some of the students.  Also, your wire is not working and we can't find a new one."

"That's fine.  I'm not helpless."  She saw the mark and watched him walk up the trail.  "So, your daughter is how old?  She sounds really cute.  Is she around?  I'd like to meet her," she offered.

"Unfortunately she's at school.   You reminded me of her.  If you're here over the holiday, I'll introduce you."  He checked his wrist like he was checking a watch.  "I've got to go.  Thank you for humoring a lonely father."  He got up and walked off.

Xander ate a bite of her sandwich and grinned at the guy who was staring at her, swallowing quickly.  "His daughter just left for another term of school."

"I've heard that can be tough," he agreed, walking over to sit beside her.  "You look familiar."

"Then you've probably seen my sister's wanted poster," she sighed, putting down her sandwich.  "It's really upsetting that she's like that.  People keep comparing us but I'm not like her and I'm really nice and sweet.  She's just cranky and mean."  She pouted at him and saw him melt.   "It's not fair to be judged by my sister, is it?"

"No," he promised, shifting to look directly at her.  "What's your name?"

"I'm Lady Inell.  Little sister to Lavelle and Sylvia."

"Ah.  I had heard he had gotten an estate by some means.  He gave it to you?"

"Once I'm of age.  I'm not quite eighteen yet," she admitted with a shy blush.  "I'm on vacation to see if I want to go to a college or a top finishing school.  Fortunately I managed to escape my sister's attention for a picnic since it's such a pretty day.  She's off watching someone," she said with a small hand wave.  "So I'm here all by myself."  She gave him a look, then grinned.  "But you."

He chuckled.  "Well, you're certainly not in any danger with me.  You're pretty enough to steal but I'd never do anything like that.  I only take pretty girls out to dinner.  Would you like to go?"

"Tonight?"  She paused for a moment.  "Well, I guess I could.  I was supposed to go clubbing tonight but it was with my sister.  I'm sure she'll mind but I don't care.  You'd be saving me from another dose of 'you've got to protect yourself, all men are like Lupin'."

He chuckled and patted her on the hand, moving a bit closer.  "No, not all men are like him.  Some of us are very nice men.  Would you like to go for a walk with me?  It's a beautiful park."

"Okay.  Let me finish my lunch or I'll be starved later."  She quickly ate the rest of her sandwich and tucked the rest back into her bag, standing up with his help.  "Thank you."  She let him pull her closer so he could put her arm around his and wandered off with him.   If her wire wasn't working she could wing it from here.

***

Lupin stomped up to where she was sitting at dinner.  "Where were you all day?  Your sister was worried sick!" he demanded.

"I was having lunch with this nice man, who then showed me around the park," she said, waving at her companion.  "He's very nice and he didn't try anything funny, you can tell my sister I said so," she said, frowning at him.  She ate another bite of steak delicately.  "Is she actually done?"

"No, but she called in and threw a fit when she found out we had let you out alone.  You're very vulnerable to people who'd want to hurt you because of your siblings."

"She did teach me how to hit someone," she said, starting to sound more cold.  She put down her cutlery and wiped her mouth, then stood up, walking him back to the door.  "I'm fine, Lupin.  He's a very nice man who invited me out for a boat ride tonight and then I'll be back at the hotel.  Chill already!"  She patted him on the hand as she felt him slip the wire under her bracelet.  "So tell my sister that I'm fine, I've met a few very nice older men who have been telling me about the local history all day long, and that I'm not getting into trouble.  Okay?"

"Fine, but if you get into trouble, I'm not sticking up for you this time, Inell."  He stomped off and she went back to her seat, adjusting the wire so it was inside her sleeve instead of on the bracelet.  She sat back down and put the napkin over her lap again.  "Sorry, but sometimes he's just as paranoid as my big brother is."  She sipped at her water.  "They're paranoid that I'm going to be snatched to be used against them."

"I would be too.  You're a very gentle and nice girl."

"Who my sister did teach self-defense to," she admitted with a smirk.  "I may be nice and not in the life, but I'm not uncareful.  Usually I'd have my personal bodyguard with me but he's on vacation since he decided my sister could watch me well enough.  Fortunately I'm able to get out and about, he only sighs in complaint when I go shopping."

He chuckled.  "Then it sounds like you've taken good steps to protect yourself.  Where is he vacationing?"

"Italy.  He's visiting some people at some training school."  She sipped her water again then picked up her fork and knife.  "This is really nice.  I'll have to remember this restaurant when I'm spoiling myself."

He chuckled, smiling at her.  "Wait until you see dessert, Inell."  He dug into his dinner as well.  He'd need his energy for later.  "Which hotel are you staying at?"

"Um," she said, digging out her key.  "The Forsythe."  She put it back, noticing that the wire had dropped into the bag while she was digging.  She closed it and put the purse back under her chair.  "It's that big one with the gold leaf trim around the doors."

"I know the one," he agreed, still smiling.  "So, it's your first time in this country?"

"No, I've been to Geneva before.  I just never really thought to go anywhere in-country until I was delivered to my sister so I could look at some of the exclusive schools."

"Tell me, are your family old money?"

She smirked at him.  "Lavelle said I'm not allowed to tell anyone about our family history.  I can say that some of their more legitimate things have hyped the family fortune.  Like how we got the estate and title.  It still surprises me that she offered her estate to have something like *that*."

"I hadn't heard how he got the title.  Was it interesting?"

"More scandalous," she admitted with a grin and a wink.  "The woman he got it off of said she'd give the person who could give her.....one of those everything.  He did it so well that she died during it.  Right in front of her nephew when he barged in."

"One of those?" he asked.  She blushed bright red and he 'ahh'ed and nodded wisely.  "I think I heard something about that.  That's how you got the title?"  She nodded, her blush still bright.  "Did they let you have it?"

"Lavelle said I could have it when I found a spouse.  Until then he's keeping it for himself so he can wine and dine the ladies."  She sipped her water again to seemingly calm down.  "My sister's not really interested in it but since I'm not following them into the life it's a perfect spot for me.  Lavelle agreed.  He's a good big brother, if a bit goofy and odd now and then."

"Odd?"

"He's still into comic books."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "That is a hobby that one doesn't usually associate with people like your brother.  Did you want a career? You mentioned college a few times."

"I'm not sure yet.  That's why I was thinking about college.  Not that I like taking classes but I'd like to find out what I can be good at.  I do pretty good with languages and with money."

"You could go into the world of finances but you'd probably have to defend yourself against your family name for the first few years."

"I was thinking something less stressful.  I don't mind working every day but I don't want something that'll give me wrinkles too soon."  She grinned at him.  "Of course, those are the sort of jobs that pay really well.  Not that I need it, but it's always wise to plan in advance."

"That's very true, especially with what your relatives do."  He sipped his wine, staring at her.  She was either acting or a very innocent young woman.  "Tell me, have you had a boyfriend?"

"One," she admitted shyly, glancing down at her plate.  "He was very...intense.  Lavelle drove him off when he found him trying to get into my clothes with me.  He promised he didn't kill him," she added quickly, looking up at him, blinking a few times when he only stared.  "I went to an all-girl's school *way* out in the middle of nowhere in the US.  Montana."

"That's pretty country."

"It is, but it's flat and boring too.  There's not much there except for people who want to get far away from things, farmers and ranchers, and some unsavory extremists who just want people to leave them alone.  Even when we were taken to town, there wasn't much there to do."

"I understand.  It can be like that here too," he admitted, judging her to be innocent.  "Are you celebrating your eighteenth birthday while you're in town?"

"Next month," she admitted, taking a sip of her water.  She put the glass down and wiped off her hands, then picked up her fork to eat her asparagus.  "You've had me talking about myself all day.  What do you do?  I'm sure you do something distinguished."

"No, I've given up on the evil world of work," he admitted with a smirk.  "I live off the splendor of my youth.  I manage my art and jewelry collections."

"Like the Queen has?"

He chuckled, smiling at her.  Yes, she was definitely inexperienced.  "Something like that but not as extensive I'm sure.  Did you visit the palace the last time you were in London?"

"Lavelle took me to the Tower but I think he was casing it," she admitted.  "It had some stunning pieces.  There was a beautiful coronet in there that was just so adorable.  I wish they'd do special things to let people try them on."

"I have a lovely tiara in my collection.  It's got some beautiful sapphires that would look stunning on you I think.  Would you like to see it?  I could even be persuaded to let you try it on," he added as an enticement.

"But they'll yell for *hours* if I go to your home," she pouted.  "You don't know this, but Lupin can really rant when he gets started and then my sister will join in."

"That's fine, maybe a picnic tomorrow then?"

"That'd be great," she agreed with a grin.  "Just as long as I don't get fat."  She shifted some.  "I'll have to start doing my aerobics again.  Cardiovascular regimens are just so me.  I'm a bit bouncy at times," she admitted with a bright grin.  "Lupin threatened to tie me to the bed the next time I woke him up before ten in the morning.  Not that he should have minded since he and my sister got really noisy after that."  Then she giggled and leaned closer.  "Lupin is so jumpy sometimes.  Sis says sometimes she can't work for him trying to get into her clothes with her."

He laughed and patted the hand she had on the table. "I'm sure he is.   Some men are like that, but usually only the young ones."  He stroked the back of her hand, watching as she shivered and grabbed her water to sip.  Yes, definitely innocent of men.  He would be adding her to his special collection.  "Drink up, dear.  We'll go for a stroll so I can take you back to your hotel."

"Sure."  Xander drank her water and finished her dinner, happily chatting about inconsequential things as she finished.  He helped her into her jacket and led her out of the restaurant, heading for the street.  "Isn't the hotel that way?" she asked, pointing behind them, where it really was just around the corner.

"No, it's this way," he assured her, walking her on.  "Or if you want we could go on a trip around the lake on my boat."

"Not tonight.  I don't want to be lectured until I'm ancient.  Besides, Lavelle's coming back sometime this month and I'm hoping he'll show up while we're all here.  That way we can gossip and get together for a bit before the group leaves again."

"Are you staying after they're gone?"

"I might be," she offered, "but my bodyguard would be back by then.  He's a fierce protector of me.  Lavelle found him for me.  He's a relative of Jigen's I think."

"Interesting."  He walked her on, frowning as a car slowed down behind them.  He glanced back.  "Which car is your sister driving?"

"She's got a rental Fiat.  She likes them for some reason.  Why?"  She glanced back then up at him.  "Are we in trouble?  I've got a panic switch."

"No, we'll be fine.  I'm sure it's just one of those nasty reporters."  He turned the corner with her, pulling her into a doorway to let the car pass them by.  He smiled and kissed her gently.  "There, how was that?"

"It was very nice," she said with a goofy grin.  "You do that very well."  Actually he sucked, but she couldn't tell her mark that.

"Thank you."  He strolled on with her, taking her to his house.  He pointed up at it.  "This is my townhouse.  Would you like to stop inside to get a small nightcap?"

"I really shouldn't," she reminded him.  "They'll be watching for me."

"I know but it won't take long."  He kissed her on the cheek this time.  "I could show you that tiara and let you try it on."  She wobbled but eventually nodded, falling into his trap.  He walked her inside and got her some sherry from the special bottle, handing it over.  "Here, you sip this while I find that tiara," he promised, walking off.  "Henry!"  His butler came out of the kitchen.  "We have a guest."  The butler nodded and went to prepare the room he liked.  By the time he got back there she was unconscious from the drugs in the sherry.  It did mask the taste very well.  He rang the bell and the butler pulled in the gurney, helping him put her onto it so she could be wheeled into the elevator and up to the main room.  When he got in there he started the cameras as soon as she was strapped down.  "Thank you, Henry.  I may need you later."  He loosened his tie as he walked closer.  "You're very pretty, Inell. Much too pretty for some thief to claim.  Only I shall have this prize."  He started to unbutton her shirt and found the first wire, snorting and tossing it aside.  His anti-listening devices would have taken care of that.  He got her down to bra and panties, then picked up a pair of scissors to undo them for her, glancing at her nether areas as he did so.  Hmm, not open any so there was hope for her being a real virgin.  He undid his shirt's buttons and waited for her to wake up, smiling down at her.  "I'm sorry, Inell.  You must have been overcome with the sherry.  So, as you can tell, I've put you to bed."  He stroked her cheek.

"Get off me!"

"Shh, precious. I'd never hurt such a little flower."

"Get off me and let me go!  Lupin!"

"Dear, I've got so many anti-listening devices built into this house that his pitiful wire won't even transmit," he assured her gently, still stroking her cheek.  "Now, you can enjoy this or not.  That is up to you."

"Let me go, you freak!  I never agreed to sleep with you!"  She struggled and managed to get one of the restraints loosened, but she felt something else happening as well.  Huh, this guy was about to get a surprise.  She got one wrist free and shoved him, working on her other one while he strolled back.

"You've got fire, I like that," he assured her, chuckling when she got the other wrist free.  "Where are you going to go?  This is my house.  The doors are locked and the cameras are transmitting to various people around the world who share the same tastes I do."

"Really?  So sure of that?" she asked.  She reached behind her and felt the clasps appear under her fingers.  She took off the cloth that hid the choker she wore by bending light away from it.  Then she unclipped the first setting, praying that the second would come undone as well.  It did and he let it drop onto the bed, then undid his ankles while the man stepped back, babbling in horror.  "Surprise.  It's been a year since it was put onto me."  He stood up and stretched, wincing as his back popped.  "You really should invest in some better mattresses.  That one's bad for the back."

"How...." he babbled, backing against the wall, blindly searching for the emergency button.  Henry would protect him.

"I follow Janus.  It was a surprise gift," he sneered, grabbing him and spinning him around, planting him on the bed.  He put a hand in the middle of the elderly man's throat.  "Now then, rapist, where are the keys, where are my things, and is there anyone else in the house?"  The man croaked so he let up on his windpipe.  "Ten seconds," he warned.

"Corner, purse is downstairs.  Butler."

"Thank you."  He slammed his head onto the bed a few times until he was unconscious then gathered up his things, stuffing the choker into his jacket pocket.  He found the door keys easily enough and walked out.  The butler gave him a long look so he smirked.  "What?  You expected me not to show up to save my sister?  She called me out of a bath."  He struck him, knocking him out too.  Then he found the main bedroom.  The old guy was about his size.  He found a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt, both female for some reason, then he found the safe.  He really shouldn't...  But the guy had tried to rape him.  "Ethics suck," he noted.  "They might be from his victims."  He walked out, finding his purse in the room he had been in, and headed out into the night.  He nodded at a cop, who stopped to stare at him.  "Sorry, was with someone," he said in German.  "She kicked me out.  Going to a hotel."  He hid the purse and headed on.  He could feel the magical shopping spot nearby and headed there instead.  He definitely didn't have anything to wear in his things and he doubted he'd look as cute as his female form did in some of his dresses.  He tapped on a door that still had lights on and had men's clothes in the window.

"We're closed!" someone inside yelled.  Xander held up his black Am Ex card and the door opened.  "We're closed."

"I just changed back."  He held up the choker.  "I'm a priest of Janus'.  I'm Lavelle."  The man's eyes widened.  "Needless to say, I doubt Sylvia's clothes would fit me.  All I need are some suits and stuff."

"Fine.  It shouldn't take long but you will be paying extra."

"Like I care."  Lavelle walked in and pulled the shades, putting everything on the chair.  "I swear, it's been a 'kidnap Xander' month again.  I hate those," he complained.  The man stiffened and looked at him so Xander grinned.  "Yes, I'm that Xander."

"My Prince, what I have is yours."

"All I need are clothes that fit, dude.  Calm it down."

"Yes, sire."  He hurried into his back room, coming out with three suits.  All black with black shirts and ties.  "Here, try these on, sire.  They should fit you and I will hem anything that needs it."

"I'm a pretty standard size," he offered.  "Underwear?  I was just in the choker when someone tried to rape me."

"Of course."  He grabbed some and handed them over.  "I hope these meet up to your expectations."

"They're fine.  Thank you."  He put the silk boxers on and then stepped into the first suit, looking at himself in the mirror.  "It fits well enough.  What do you think?"

"I think you look like the Prince you are, sire.  Do you require a hat of some sort?"

"No, I'm good on that," he assured him.  "Just a hairband."  A silver hairband was handed over, etched with black designs.  "I like this."  He checked himself out again, flexing and bending to make sure it wouldn't rip if he tried to sit down.  "Fine, I'll take it."  He handed over the card and went to the wall that had shoes, finding a pair that matched.  "These too."

"Yes, sire."  He rang the purchases up and held out the slip and a pen.  Then he got him a bag for the other suits and one for the women's clothes he had.  "Thank you for your patience with my ignorance, sire."

"Not an issue.  Thanks for opening for me."  He handed back the shop's copy of the slip and the pen, taking his card back.  Then he took the bags and wandered out into the night.  He found the hotel where he expected and walked inside.

"Sir, guests only on the elevator," the hostess said in broken english.

"I'm with Lupin," he called, waving at her.  He grinned back and winked. "He's expecting me."

"Yes, sir."  She moved to the far end of the counter, watching as the elevator doors closed on him.  Then she dialed upstairs.  "Sir, there is a silver haired man on his way up, said he was expected?  Thank you, sir.  No, I did not stop him," she said in French.  "Thank you, sir."  She hung up and relaxed.  He was one of their group.

***

Goemon hung up and sat down again, watching while Lavelle came in.  "You found clothes already?"

"I had to.  The idiot cut mine off me and I don't exactly fit into that peach skirt now."  He dropped his bags and pointed at a door.  "Lupin?"  Goemon pointed at another one.  "Thanks, big guy."  He strolled that way, opening the door and grinning at the sleeping thieves.  He chuckled evilly and pounced, landing on top of Jigen so he could kiss him awake.  Jigen's eyes went wide and Lupin shrieked, falling off his side of the bed.  "Morning, Jigen," he said smugly.  "Leaving me alllll alone with that rapist was a mean thing to do to me."

"Shit!' Lupin said, standing up. "I didn't know he was that bad!"  He paused then looked at the bed and shook his head.  "Xander?"

"No, ya think?" he asked sarcastically.  "And it's another 'kidnap Xander' month too, boss."

"Xan, you're heavier, get off," Jigen groaned.  Xander rolled to lay beside him, stretching out on the bed.  "When did you change back?"

"Just now.   When he had me strapped down to the bed and drugged."  He grabbed Lupin's phone and dialed Zenigata's phone.  "Pops, me.  Yes, me.  No, the guy we're marking is a rapist.  He just tried on me.  Yes, it's me," he said patiently.  "Switzerland.  Yeah, him.  No, he's got a house in town, over by the river.  Bring Dawnie, she can find it I'm sure.  It's a block past the magical shops toward the river.  Thanks."  He hung up and sat up.  "I didn't touch anything in the safe.  I didn't know if they were from some of his victims.  Sorry, I had a bout of ethics."

"No, not an issue," Lupin said, leaning down to steal a kiss.  "Steak?"

"Steak, asparagus, and baby potatoes.  Then drugged sherry.  I didn't even taste it."

"That's fine.  As long as you're fine, Xan."  He sat on the end of the bed, staring at him.  "You stopped to get clothes?"

"I had to.  I didn't fit in the peach skirt anymore."

"Good point," Goemon said from the doorway.  "Did I hear you correctly?"

"He's a rapist.  I couldn't be sure that some of those things weren't from the girls he had harmed.  Sorry.  I'll make it up next month."

"Not that. Did you just call Zenigata?"

"Did you want him?"

"No," Goemon admitted.  "When are we leaving?"

"I've got to go back there and gas it," Xander offered.  "Just to make sure they can't leave."

"Sirens just headed that way a minute ago," Jigen offered.

"I did not torch that place," Xander said honestly, holding up a hand.  "I knocked him out on the bed and got the butler before leaving.  I stole a set of his sweats and a t-shirt, which I left at the shop but I did not torch his pretty room with the big bed and restraints and cameras."  Xander got up to get his purse, dialing from his phone.  "If the rapist torched his house, it wasn't me," he told Dawn.  "Jigen said he heard sirens.  I did not touch the safe, which was in the master bedroom, because I couldn't be sure it didn't belong to the victims.  I did knock him out but I didn't torch it."  He hung up again.  "There, I'm done covering my ass now.  Shall we go?"

"No, I wanna watch this one," Lupin said from the bedroom doorway.  "You okay?"

"Just fine.  I woke up after he had cut my clothes off but before he could touch me.  He still had the scissors in his hand from where he cut off the bra."  He shrugged.  "Sorry."

"Not an issue," Lupin told him, coming out to hug him.  "Gods, you feel good," he whispered.  Xander gave him a squeeze.  "Besides, I wanna see Ray's face when he sees you."  He winked and cackled, heading back to bed.  "You coming?"

"In a bit.  I need to shower and stuff."  Lupin nodded and let him do that in peace.  Xander winked at Goemon.  "You might as well get ready for me, dear.  You *do* remember all those promises to me, right?"  He walked into the bathroom, closing the door.

Jigen looked up at Lupin as he slid back into the bed.  "What did you promise him?"

"That things weren't going to change and that I'd let him roll me over now and then," he said smugly.  "It talked her into bed a few times."

"Have fun with that, I'll sleep through it," Jigen said, flipping over.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun," Lupin teased.

"No."

"Just once, Jigen?"

"Nyet," he said, hoping it got through in some language.

"We did promise it wouldn't change when he finally came back to himself."

"No."

"Fine, he'll pounce you in the morning."

"And land on the floor," Jigen snorted, pulling the blankets up around his chest and closing his eyes.  He felt a hand stroking up his arm and swatted at it.  "No, Lupin.  Not for either of you.  That's one area where I only top."

"Fine, grumpy."  He settled himself in, listening to Xander hum in the shower.  "I should probably get ready.  He's got to be horny to try out his dick."  Jigen pulled the blankets up higher and wrapped them around his chest.  "I would be if I hadn't had my penis for a year."

"You think with yours, I taught Xander better."

Lupin cackled.  "That boy thought with his *long* before we hooked up with him, Jigen."

"If you say so."  He punched his pillow a few times.  "Behave.  Or at least try to so I can get some sleep.  If Pops is coming in soon, I want to be on my toes."

"Oooh, I'm sure you'll be standing for quite a while," Xander said from the doorway with a smirk.  "What's wrong, Jigen?  Did you forget you promised to try it once for me?" he cooed as he slid in between them, pulling Lupin closer.

"Some other night, Xander.  I'm tired."

"Fine, spoilsport."  He pounced Lupin instead, making him grin and laugh nervously when Xander licked his lips.  "Didn't you get yourself ready for me, baby?" he taunted.

"Hell no, that's half the fun," Lupin said.  Xander smirked and nipped him, then moved lower to please them both.

"Fricken earthquakes," Jigen complained, getting up to sleep on the couch, taking the blankets with him since the others weren't using them.  Goemon gave him a look but surrendered it.  "Not sleeping?"

"I figured one of us should watch for someone trying to come in here.  Xander may be under arrest if they catch him."

"Let 'em try," Xander called.  "Jigen, I'll be getting that blanket back soon.  Lupin isn't warm in the middle of the night."

Jigen wrapped himself in the blankets and got comfortable on the couch, smirking as he fell asleep.  Yeah, his Xander was back, but that didn't mean he couldn't fuck with his head now, did it?

***

Lavelle looked up as someone gasped, lowering the corner of his paper to grin at the cop standing there.  "Hey, Ray."  He went back to reading his stocks.  "I need to sell Microsoft stocks before they plunge again," he muttered.  "Coffee?"

"No!"  He snatched the paper and tossed it onto the table.  "What the hell did you do to him?"

"The rapist?  I only knocked him out.  Why?"

"Because the house exploded, Lavelle."

"As I told Dawn, I didn't do that and I didn't touch the safe.  All I did was knock him out and then the butler before stealing some clothes and leaving.  That was an...inconvenient moment for the choker to come off after all.  Don't believe me?  He had tapes running."  He grabbed his paper and turned the page again.  "Did you need something else, Inspector Kowalski?"

"Yeah, stand up and turn around, hands where I can see them, Lavelle.  You're under arrest."

"For protecting myself?  I could have killed him you know."

"I know, which means something's going on," he said coldly.  "Stand, hands where I can see them, no funny shit."  Xander sighed and stood up, letting him cuff him.  "Thank you.  Car!"

"Food," Xander said.  "My wallet's in my back pocket, toss down about ten."  Ray grumbled something but did so, then kept the wallet.  "I know how much was in there," he warned jokingly as he was led off.  He nodded at the other cops.  "I was having coffee after protecting myself.  He thought that knocking someone unconscious was a bad thing when the man wanted to rape me."  He allowed himself to be shoved into the car, getting comfortable for the ride down to the station.  He didn't have anything on him.  Not even a weapon outside of his pocketknife.  He wiggled his shoulders as Ray got in.  "Could you get these any tighter?  I'd like to have some feeling in my arms later and my shoulders already ache."

"Tough, you're not breaking out of them."

"Ray, sweetie, you've know for *how* long that I suck at picking locks?" Xander said dryly.  Ray glared at him.  "Fine.  We'll play this game and then we'll go do something more fun, but I'll get to retaliate."

"From prison?"

"There isn't one built yet that can hold my ass," Xander reminded him dryly.  "Really, honey, there's not."  He watched the scenery, shrugging at Goemon when he spotted him and nodding at Ray.  The car sped on but he knew Goemon would be reporting back to Lupin.   When they got to the station he was drug inside and put into an interrogation room, where he made himself comfortable once he found the thumbtack on the chair.  When the cops came back, he had one cuff off and was working on the other one.  "Sorry, I'd be faster but thumbtacks aren't really long enough so I had to get creative."  He looked up at the trio of cops.  "Yes?" he asked patiently.  "The guy picked up a very innocent little girl in me last night and took me home, where he drugged me, strapped me to table, cut off my clothes, and when I woke up I fought back.  I didn't make his house explode.  Though we were being followed last night by one of those little innocuous black sedans that kinda look like London taxis."

"So you didn't kill him?"

"No, I knocked him out.  I started to choke him until he told me where the keys to the door were and how many people were in the house.  He had a surveillance system that he said broadcast so I'm guessing his main house had the tapes."

"Main house?" Vecchio asked dryly.

"Yeah, he's been hitting on young rich girls to get their jewels," Xander told him, crossing his feet under the table.  "He's got a manor house outside town, up on the hillside.  From the park it looks like it's pinkish and white in the afternoon light.  He pointed it out to me yesterday but he took me into his townhouse instead of up there."

"Why were you playing along?  You could have killed him earlier," Ray Kowalski noted.

"Of course I could have, but he had something very pretty and very bad taste.  He knocked up a sixteen-year-old duchess last year."  He shrugged.  "Lupin's target, not mine.  I was just the bait, guys.  Honestly."

"Fine," Zenigata sneered.  "We'll go look at his main house."

"Sure.  Maybe you should ask someone to help you find hidden rooms?" Xander asked dryly.  "He said it broadcast to a few sources."

"We'll see.  You're staying in a cell until then."

"So I'll get a nap on a really hard bed," Xander snorted.  "Yay me.  You won't keep me.  I don't have any warrants.  I don't have any recent jobs that I'm even being held for because I've not been around for the past year and a bit.  I'll play along for now, but my patience isn't unlimited."

"You're damn cocky to be in here, boy," Zenigata sneered.

Xander slowly stood up and leaned on the table.  "Zenigata, who do you think helped teach Dawn her shit?" he hissed.  "Now, who do you think taught Lotus how to teleport?  You couldn't keep me if you put me in a lead cell sixty thousand feet underground."

"We'll see if we can't build you one," Zenigata sneered.  "Take him to a holding cell.  Strip him first."

"Sure, boss," Vecchio agreed, grabbing Xander's arm to take him off.

"Um, LA," Kowalski said quickly.  Everyone stared at him.  "I do remember, Harris."

"Good.  I won't hurt him. I know he wouldn't try any funny shit."  He waved at the door.  "We were going?"

"What did you do in LA?"

"Some punk ass Immigration bastards tried to strip me down.  I kicked their asses in finest fashion with Goemon watching.  Don't worry, you're not a Marine with a hardon for pretty boys.  You'll be safe with me, this time."

Vecchio nodded, taking him off.  He checked in his effects himself and handed him a plain jumpsuit, putting him into a single, suicide watch cell with padded walls.  "There.  You should be safe enough in there."

"Hmm, pretty drab and boring.  Maybe I'll redecorate while you look at the main house."  He reclined on the bed and wiggled his fingers.  "Have fun."  Vecchio stomped off and Xander unzipped his outfit to look at the spot on his thigh he hadn't seen before.  He shifted until he could see it all.  "Huh, I can open hellmouths with that.  Interesting."  He zipped back up.  "I see a new one each time I have to look at them."  He put his arms behind his head, sure either Lupin would be coming soon or the cops would see sense.  He hadn't done it this time. And if they didn't see sense, well, he had options now didn't he?  And Lupin would be a sorry bastard when he caught up to him.  He closed his eyes, deciding to rest.  Or at least he tried until he felt the ghost slip into the cell.  "Go away.  I don't talk to dead people and I don't let them scare me. I grew up in Sunnydale."

"Release me," it whispered next to his ear.

Xander opened his eyes to look at it.  "You're already dead, what other release do you need?"

"My body."

"Where?"

"Under the wall.  The west wall as we were building it."

"If I can," he offered, closing his eyes again.  "Go bug Kowalski, that Interpol inspector.  He can see you guys."  The ghost floated off.   "Huh.  I never expected this area to be a hotbed of supernatural stuff."  He crossed his feet again, missing his socks now.  His toes were cold.  "Can I have some socks at least?" he called.  "My feet are cold."

"Shut up!" the guard yelled.

"Fine."  Xander summoned his, putting them back on.  Then he got comfortable.

***

Lupin looked up as Goemon walked in and slammed the door.  "What happened?"

"Xander was in the back of a cruiser," he said grimly.  "Ray was driving."

"Which Ray?"

"Kowalski.  The others were at the station."

"Fuck," Lupin sighed.  "Okay.  Guys, go get Xander, I'll go stump the cops."  Someone pounded on the door.  "Or not.  That sounded like Vecchio."  He opened the door and leaned on it.  "Yes, Inspector?"

"You're being called into the service of good.  We're looking for the tapes.  Lavelle said to try for hidden areas."

"Coming," Lupin agreed.  "Have fun, guys."

"If they go near the station there's a shoot-on-sight or arrest-on-sight order," Vecchio warned.  "You're not getting him back."

"Xander can open a portal to hell and walk through it to get out somewhere else," Jigen noted.  "Why would we have to?"

"But he wouldn't.  That would endanger others."

"Not really," Goemon told him.  "Just anyone in the cell with him."  Vecchio grunted in annoyance and led Lupin downstairs and to the car, shoving him into the back.  "He agreed. I warned the others."

"Good.  Dawn warded the jail from the demonic."

"That won't help," Lupin pointed out.  "Hell can break loose before she can stop it from coming in."

"The jail used to be part of a convent," Zenigata said smugly.

"Hmm.  He'll still make it out."  Lupin got comfortable as they started off.  "Have we checked the wreckage?"

"We have," Ray Vecchio said grimly.  "We found both bodies."

"If Xander said he didn't kill them he didn't."

"That doesn't mean he didn't leave them there to die.  That's negligent homicide."

Lupin snickered.  "He was getting away from someone who had him strapped to a table and had just cut his clothes off him.  Someone he knew was going to rape him.  That's called self defense.  You can't even get to a trial with what you have.  If Xander had wanted to, he would have killed them on contact and he didn't."

"No, he didn't, but even if he didn't set the fire he still hindered them getting out, that's still homicide."

"If he didn't set the fire, have you considered who did?" Lupin offered.  The cops all glared at him.  "This guy was wanted."

"Yay.  I'm going to nap now," Zenigata sneered.  "I'll get you all yet."

"Keep dreamin', Pops.  Though, Ishi did offer to put you out of our misery so I wouldn't have to."

"Fat chance that kid'll do it," he snorted.

"He's gotten you twice now and so did my daughter," Lupin reminded him.  "Stopping us won't stop them."

"Shut your yap," Kowalski ordered coldly.  "Which way?"

"We were planning on casing it today when Xander agreed to go to a picnic with him," Lupin said tiredly.  "It's the hacienda up on the hill.  I'd say take the private drive but that may lead somewhere else.  Like up to the ...."  He sat up.  "I know this place.  Take the main road."  They all looked at him.  "I know what the hell happened.  Take the main road."  Kowalski looked at Zenigata, who shrugged and nodded.  "Take a right when it forks too.  You've got ammo, right?"  They all looked at him so he sighed and set off the gas container on his belt, getting over the back of the seat to push the cops over so he could drive.  He knew *exactly* what had happened.  He sped up the hill, growling lightly as he went.  The main gates were closed and there was a note on them.  So he got out to read it.  "I didn't do it, Lupin.  Uh-huh, and I believe you too," he sneered, hoisting himself over the gate and down into the driveway.  He calmly walked up there, going to kick someone around again.  He looked at the open door and walked in.  "I know you're here, bitch."

"Oh, I am, but I still didn't do it," a female said from the top of the stairs.  "Would you like some coffee or tea, Lupin dear?"

"Hell no," he snorted.  "Who did?  They're blaming Lavelle because the guy got him."

"Oh, I saw.  We do feed off his tape.  You can have it...for a price."

"Which is?"

"I want your daughter to be mine," she said smugly.

"Sorry, but my daughter's fourteen and already well trained.  She doesn't need another mother.  She's got one of those."

"Yes, and it's *so* interesting how she got here too," she said as she came down the stairs.  "Your choice of course.  I can always finish her training."

Lupin grabbed her and slammed her against the wall.  "Victoria, drop the fucking subject.  Arsene is *my* daughter.  She'll always be my daughter.  I don't care how much you want to hurt me, you don't do it to my kids.  Or else I let Goemon have you this time."  She actually looked scared for a moment then chuckled.  "If you go to Fujiko to help you, then I pity you.  If you come near my children, I'll make your world stop in the most horrible manner I can."

"I don't want to harm her, Lupin.  I want to make her a good girl, just like I am."

"Fat chance, she's still straight, Victoria."  He backed off and calmed himself down.  "The tape," he growled.

"Not if you won't meet my price.  Which has now raised to that *entertaining* necklace."

"That's from Janus.  You want it, pray to him for one," he sneered.  "I can kill you."

"No, you can't.  Your friends are here, Lupin."  She pointed at the doorway.

Lupin looked, then looked at her.  "They'll either understand or be expendable.  You just threatened my daughter's life for the price of a tape."

"She has a tape?" Vecchio asked.

"We don't have a warrant," Zenigata admitted.  "We can't search the place."

"That doesn't stop me," Lupin reminded him.  He backhanded her and sneered down at her.  "Now, Victoria.  I have no feelings for you."

"She should have been mine!" she sneered back.  "You promised me, Lupin."

He pulled his gun and cocked it.  "Last chance.  I can find it without your living body."

"It'll be gone by then."  She held up her pendant.  "It'll be on fire as soon as I stroke this."  He made a grab for it but she covered it.  "Your choice, Lupin, dear."

"Fuck you."  He shot her in the stomach then took the pendant and crushed it.  "Your real one was broken two years ago in Tibet.  Jigen broke it on you."  He looked at the house.  "Let's see, you always put things next to your bedroom."  He headed for the back area of the house, finding the bedroom and the tape.  He came out waving it.  "Here you go.  One assassin who just threatened my daughter's life and the tape."

"We can't use it, it's gotten by illegal means," Vecchio told him.  "That's the law."

"Then you're expendable," Lupin decided, pointing the gun at him.  "Your choice of course."

"Don't do it, Lupin," Zenigata warned.  "We can shoot you just after that."

"Which would make this evidence of the crime, which would make it admissible," Lupin reminded him coldly.  "No one takes what's mine.  That's my special treat."  He spun and shot Zenigata in the knee, then got Vecchio in the stomach.  He ducked Ray Kowalski's shot, only getting grazed on the arm, then got him on the thigh, making him yell.  "I feel better now," he noted, handing him the tape.  "The reason for the shooting, which makes it evidence," he reminded him.  "I'll call ambulances.  Tell them Vecchio forgot to wear his vest."  He walked out, his phone already being dialed.  "I just heard gunshots up at the old Brazelton manor house.  There were cops there and I know at least one screamed in pain," he said before hanging up.  He strolled down the driveway, taking the path toward the other house.

No one touched what was his.  They died for that.

***

Xander sat up as the door opened, nodding at the woman standing there.  "You are?"

"Your attorney.  The officers who arrested you were shot by your cohort."

"I was in here," he noted, waving a hand around.  "And I didn't choose you. I have an attorney."

"Until he gets here, I am to act in your behalf."

"Huh.  That's nice.  You want what?"

"To talk to you about a plea."

"Nope, sorry.  The man wasn't dead when I escaped.  I didn't blow up the house."

"What man?"

"I'm in here because a man tried to kidnap me last night to rape me.  I woke up strapped to a bed.  I knocked him and his butler out before escaping.  Then someone else blew up the house when I was far away."

"Your Lupin perhaps?"

"Doubt it considering he was asleep in bed when I got back to the hotel."

"Hmm."  She nodded.  "Fine.  You will be in here for a while."  She walked away and the door closed.

"Not really," Xander noted dryly.  "I hate these 'kidnap Xander' months."  He got comfortable again, not expecting any help now.  If Lupin had shot Gramps then things had just turned from bad to worse.  He'd have to do it on his own apparently.  That's fine, he could do that, he just needed a nap first.  He closed his eyes, only opening his good one when the door opened again and another prisoner was put into the cell.  "Sit on the other side of the room," he ordered.

"Who're you to give me orders?" the thug asked.

"Lavelle.  The assassin Lavelle."  The man retreated quickly and sat against the other wall staring at him.  "Do something else. I'm trying to rest."  The man nodded and looked down at his hands, twiddling his thumbs instead.  Xander got a few hours of rest when he felt the magic go off, sitting up and walking to the window.  "You, come here," he ordered, pointing outside.  "What is that?"

"It's something that's always happened. We don't know what.  It protects the town."

"Fine."  Xander rubbed the summoning mark, making it look toward him.  "Break this cell," he ordered when it flew closer.

"Why should I?" it hissed.

Xander unzipped his jumpsuit, making it shriek and look away.  "Now.  Or else I kill you and open a Hellmouth here."  The demon shot the bars out and Xander climbed out of the hole.  "Thanks.  Have fun.  Watch out for Dawn Zenigata.  Her sister's a slayer and she's a witch."  He looked at the thug.  "What did you do?"

"Beat my old lady."

"You can stay then," Xander said, having the demon wave a hand and put back the wall.  "Have a nice night.  Tell them I had another appointment."  He jogged off, heading for the hotel to get his things.  He found them packed and his bag at the front desk.  He nodded and changed in the bathroom then snuck out, heading for the main road out of the valley town. He didn't want to have to steal a car but he would if forced to.  He wasn't staying there.  When no cars came his way in an hour, he sighed and gathered his energies, taking himself to his manor house in England, scaring the maid horribly.  "Chill, it's me," he ordered calmly.  "Just getting away from some odd things."  He handed her the bag.  "I'm headed up to change then leaving again.  Phones working?"

"Y...yes, sir," she stuttered.

"Thanks.  Have a good night, dear."  He trotted up the stairs, going to change into some of his usual clothes and grab his keys.  He called Jigen's phone once he was free.  "I'm out, I'm heading out of England.  They only got a toss-away and my Mastercard was in my wallet.  My phone was there too so I'll check the bulletin boards now and then."  He hung up and grabbed his spare wallet and headed down the stairs at a fast jog.  He nodded at the butler as he walked past him.  "Heading out again.  The clothes should be clean.  Just hang 'em up or whatever.  Thanks, man.  Any problems?"

"Those furry things have been back once or twice."

"Yeah, the kitsune have a portal here since they can't get near Stonehenge without pissing someone off.  Just ignore 'em.  Anything else?" he asked, turning to look at him.

"No, sir."

"The funds are still in the bank?"  The butler nodded.  "Then have fun.  My main phone's broken so I'll have the car phone."  He wiggled his fingers and headed out to the garage.   His baby, the Jetta, was in there.  He slid into the custom leather seats with a sigh of pleasure, then started the engine, heading off into the night.  He stuck his earbud into his ear and dialed Marcus' phone.  "It's me, I'm heading out of the country right now.  Am I picking you up at Ethan's?"  He grimaced.  "Cool beans.  No, I'm heading to one of mine.  Ishi knows it.  Fallback position sixteen."  He hung up and sped up, going to find somewhere safe from the things that wanted to keep him.   It shouldn't last too much longer but he was tired of it.  Three times in less than two weeks was a bad omen in his book.

***

Lupin looked over as Jigen dug out his phone.  "Xander?" he asked when Jigen got into the voicemail.  Jigen nodded.  "Where is he heading?"

"He didn't say.  Just that they had his phone, his wallet with his Mastercard, and that he was free."

"That's fine, we can get that."  He looked behind him, stopping suddenly as Marcus appeared on the road.  "You can't hit a moving target," he chastised.

"I wasn't trying to," he promised as he climbed in, handing over Xander's things.  "Everything but his socks and his phone."

"That's okay, we got that off Vecchio at the hospital," Jigen said, waving it.  "Where is he heading?"

"He was at the manor house, he's heading out of the country.  He wanted to know if he needed to pick me up.  He sounded like he was in his Jetta."

"Jetta?" Lupin asked, starting them moving again.  "What Jetta?"

"It's the car that was at the manor house.  It's got a car phone."

"Fine.  Do you know it?"  Marcus shook his head.  "Got it written down?"

"Somewhere but I don't know where," he assured him.  "Check his phone, it might have it."

"Battery's dead.  Did he say anything?" Jigen asked.

"He's heading for fallback position sixteen.  He said Ishi knows where it is."

"Okay, someone dial the kids," Lupin ordered as he took a sharp turn in the road.  "I hated that bitch."

"Which bitch?  You never told me what started this off," Jigen reminded him when Lupin growled.

"Victoria had the tape.  She wanted Arsene."

"Fuck 'er then," Jigen agreed.  "You kill her?"

"Hopefully.  I think it was a lung shot."  He shifted up as they hit a straight spot, heading off at a faster speed.  "Call the kids.  Tell them to watch out for the soul-sucking thing too.  Just in case."

Jigen hunched down so the wind wouldn't cause too much interruption on the line.  "Hey, brat.  Where's Fallback position sixteen?"  He listened as his daughter yelled for Lotus and Ishi.  "Yeah, he said sixteen.  No, your other dad.  No, he's male and a job just went to hell.  Lupin just had to shoot the cops and a soul-sucking thing.  Watch out for her, she wants Arsene.  Yeah, her.  Thanks.  Yeah, me too, kiddo."  He hung up.  "He's heading back to Sunnydale."

"Why?" Lupin demanded.

"Because he said nothing there would want to keep him," Marcus offered.  "He'll probably be in LA instead of just inside Sunnydale."

"There are those cabins," Goemon reminded Lupin.  He didn't worry, Xander could protect himself now.

***

A woman looked up as her guard came running into her tent.  "M'lady, a Jetta approaches," he panted.  "A single human from the scans."

"A Jetta?  I have seen one in my dreams," she said calmly.  "Do not harm him, he is here to help us ascend.  He is a Powerful One."  The guard nodded and went to spread the orders.  She got herself ready.  Surely a Powerful One like that one would need her services in return for helping them get more power.

Xander Comes Clean, Or At Least A Bit More

Lupin listened to his contact in LA's underground carefully.  There hadn't been any news on Xander since he had escaped.  That had been over a week ago. He had landed in LA two days earlier and no one had heard from him since his landing.  He had stayed that night in LA since it had been so late, it had taken some work to find him but he had spent the night at the same motel he and Jigen had first talked in.  Then he had disappeared the next morning.  By now they should have been told something.  This was Xander after all, a six- foot-two man with silver hair that made demons pant in fear and longing and who was a wanted criminal.  Not even the guards had noticed him and reported him to the State Police.  He grunted and hung up, turning to look at the others.  "He made it to LA safely.  Stayed the night in the same place he and Jigen started at, then left.  No one's heard about him since then."

Jigen stretched and stood up.  "He can hide, Lupin."

"This is LA, Jigen.  The scene of some of his biggest problems.  Including Angel, Marcus' father, other demons, psycho's who want him to go good again.  Starting to sound familiar?"

"He'll be fine," Goemon assured him.  "We have all trained Xander to the best of our abilities."  He stood up as well.  "When are we leaving?"

"Two hours.  Hopefully one of you remember the way to Sunnydale?"

"I got it off Mapquest," Arsene said as she walked in, handing over the papers she carried.  She whistled.  "It's safe!"  The others rushed in.

"Before anyone says anything, Lotus said we had to come," Melissa offered the stunned parents.

"Lotus, explain," Goemon ordered.

She looked at him, then at Jigen.  "There's supposed to be a new cult in Sunnydale.  They're magical beings who want to get higher in the hierarchy.  They've just found their prophesied leader, Jetta."

Marcus groaned from his corner.  "Where did you hear that?" Lupin demanded.  "My contacts didn't say anything about that."

"The witches network.  Someone told Ethan, Ripper told me I had to go.  They'd need a nature witch on site.  Otherwise they may try reopening the Hellmouth."  Marcus groaned louder.  "Need something for that?"

"No, I've heard about them but I didn't think they were in Sunnydale.  I'm stupid for not thinking of them.  Of course they'd want Xander, he's a Prince of Hell.  He can grant them higher titles or give them for training purposes."

"Ah, but there is a kicker attached," Arsene told them all with a bright grin.  "Their new leader, Jetta, had to undergo some sort of purification and regeneration ritual.  Supposedly he argued that he was a demon hunter but they made sure he knew who he really was with the help of a vampire that they've helped come back to his true self."

"Angel?" Marcus asked hopefully.

"Spike," Lotus told him.  She shrugged.  "Ripper said we'd need people who could stake and who could slice heads off.  He said I had to be there to stop the Hellmouth and that you, Ishi, and Dad had to be doing the Uncle Xander job.  That Uncle Lupin could fill in the cute quips job and that Uncle Jigen could probably handle a crossbow if we couldn't."

"I've used one but I suck at it," Jigen admitted.  "They aim funny and fire off-center."

"Fortunately, Mom trained us *all* in how to use one," Melissa assured him with a bright grin.  "So the Headmistress said we're due back in a week, that this could be an excused absence."

Ishi nodded. "Rescues always are."  He looked at his father.  "I need more powder.  Mine was stolen and I can't be sure they didn't put other stuff into it."

"We'll get some in LA, son," Goemon promised.  "Shall we go?"

"Good thing we've got a chartered flight so we can take the car," Jigen agreed.

Lupin glared at his daughter.  "No."

"Tough," she said calmly.   "Sis and Tara are meeting us there."  Her father sat down, staring at her.  "Sorry, Daddy, but Demara is a slayer and Ripper ordered them to meet us there.  They're going on British Airways. They'll be there in about ten hours."  She patted him on the cheek.  "I promise, we'll flank the edges to guard your backs, but we have to go.  We were ordered."

"I'm not liking the timing of this," Marcus complained.

"Apparently we don't have a choice," Jigen reminded him.

"We do so.  The kids aren't coming," Lupin announced, standing up.  "We'll have Marcus there and Xan once we get him free.  We won't need Lotus, Goemon can slice heads off and so can Marcus, and...."

"And nothing, Uncle," Lotus said firmly.  "I was ordered.  The two of them together can't keep the Hellmouth closed.  So unless you're going to be picking up Marcus' father then you're screwed.  Deal with it.  We don't like it either.  It sounds like a trap to us."

"It is a trap.  They want to make him tieless," Ishi offered quietly.  Everyone stared at him.  "Think about it.  We could break whatever they've done to him."

"Janus has a sense of humor," Melissa assured them.  "Either that or he needs a priestess there to help," she said, pointing at Arsene's back.

"Oh, he's pissed," Arsene agreed dryly.  "He had thought that Mom might like another one of us."  She stared her father down.  "Fortunately the choker is uncharged until he prays for it to be recharged."

Lupin shivered.  "It was a momentary thing when I realized how old you were all getting," he defended.  "Not a real desire."  He looked at the other parents, who were all frowning but not shaking their heads.  "Fine.  But you're staying in the background.  You'll get nowhere near the real fighting, guys."

"Sure, dad," Arsene agreed with a grin for him.  "Let's go.  Plane's waiting and we need a plan."

"They're set up in the park according to Ripper," Lotus offered as she curled up against her father's side.  "Sorry, dad, but I can't stay out of it this time."

"Then your brother shall guard you," he ordered, staring his son down.

"Of course," he agreed.  "Only I get to hurt them."  He followed the girls out the door, letting the adults groan in misery over this problem.

"We can always rent them a room in LA and lock them inside," Jigen offered quietly.

"If we need someone with Lotus' powers to close the Hellmouth then we're screwed," Marcus told him.  "She's right, I'm not as powerful as she is, nor is Xander. Xander's magic would be opposite to the effect wanted.  That brings up another problem.  If they're linked into the Hellmouth then he's more powerful now and the spell holding him could be linked directly to the powerflows."

"What makes you think it's a spell?" Goemon asked.

"Because I doubt they could do it again with just trauma.  The last group had to use drugs."

"I'd like to crack him across the skull a few times," Lupin muttered.  "Let's go, before they steal the car."

"How did they get here?" Jigen asked.  "We don't all fit in the car."

"They'll be fine," Lupin promised.  "You drive the kids with Marcus.  I'll take Melissa and Ishi with me and Goemon."  They nodded and went down to deal with that issue.   Ishi handed over the keys and went where told, showing that they were taking this seriously.  The parents could catch up on the plane.

***

Xander looked up as the guards led Lupin into the tent he was staying in.  "Oh, good, you're here," he said in a calm, happy, ditzy voice.  "Save me before they give me another alcohol and peyote enema."

Lupin nodded.  "Sure, Lavelle. Walk out with me, see the kids?"

"No!  He must help us ascend!" a woman shouted, hurrying out to stop them.  "He must!  We need him."

Lupin looked at her.  "You do realize I can kill you?"

"Won't your child or friend mind?"

"Considering he's an assassin and I'm Lupin the Third?  I doubt it," he said with an evil smirk.  "Anything else you needed?"

"We must have him call the Great Ones to take us!" she said urgently, stepping forward to grab his arm.  "If not, then we will be stuck when the world ends next year!"

"Oh, yeah, I've got to help make sure that doesn't happen, Lupee," Xander said, nodding a lot.  He fell off his seat.  "Ow."

Lupin looked at his lover, then at the woman.  "What did you give him?"

"It's a special blend."

"Can I get some of that?  I've got a few cops I wanna give it to."

"It's a holy mixture," she said, looking horrified.

"We've got two priests of Janus with us," he offered.

"Fine," she agreed, going to get it for him.  "We still need him to call one of the Great Ones."  She carried out a jug that looked like a covered vase, handing it over carefully.  "Don't spill it."  He nodded and whistled, bringing Jigen and Goemon, with Lotus behind them.  The woman screamed and backed away from Lotus, pointing at her.

"The Great Ones no longer call this city home," Lotus told her calmly.  "They now go to LA, to the ones called Wesley and Angel."

"Wesley and Angel," the woman repeated, staring at Lotus.  "Who are they?"

"Wesley is like Lavelle.  He is forsaken by his actions.   He is the one who gave Lavelle against his will.  Angel is Spike's sire."

"Then we will go to them," the woman said, bowing to Lotus.  "I thank you, Great One.  Please, pray for us to get our goals.  This is what we truly desire.  In reward, I gift you with the demon who we have helped to show our worth."  She clapped her hands, bringing a guard.  "Bring the vampire to them.  He is going with them.  We are going to LA to the ones called Wesley and Angel."  He nodded, bowing to them before leaving.  "Go in peace, brethren.  May the Great Ones be protected among you."  She watched as Jigen and Goemon picked up Xander, followed by Lotus then by Lupin.

"In, we're heading," Lupin ordered.  He handed the jar to Ishi.  "Guard that, it's what they used on him."  They got into the cars, Ishi taking the jar to Xander's car to drive.  Lupin got in to drive, looking back at the trio in the backseat.  "Who's driving the other car?"  His daughter beeped as she drove past him.  "Okay then.  We'll stop that eventually and let someone else drive the car if Melissa doesn't kill her."  He started his car and sped off, following his daughter, who wasn't a half-bad driver.

"She drives like you," Goemon noted.

"Remember that problem you had with mind reading?  You're doing it again," Jigen noted dryly.

"Remember, us normal people find that freaky, Goemon.  Is he okay? He asked to be saved, he knew who I was.  He described it as an alcohol and peyote enema."

"No wonder he's snoring," Jigen said, grimacing.  "Sounds like someone gets to detox."

"Did we manage to escape without the vampire?" Goemon asked.

"No, he was snuck into the Jetta," Lupin said grimly.  "We'll deal with him when we're safer.  Someone call Melissa, tell her we're heading for the house in Mexico."

Jigen dialed his daughter's cell.  "We're going south of the border."  He paused then looked at Lupin.  "Our place or Xander's?"

"Do we know where his is?"  Jigen shrugged.  "If we do then that's fine."

"Do you know where it is?" Jigen asked.  He nodded.  "Fine, lead the way."  He hung up.  "They do.  Xander gave them a crash course in places to hide."  He put the phone away, which woke Xander, who mumbled into his chest, then licked him before snoring again.

"He's an adorable kitten," Goemon joked.

"Goemon, remember how Data had to have his emotion chip taken away?  I'm inches from snatching yours and destroying it," Lupin warned.  "We need Xander back, not another furry monster who sits in Jigen's lap all day."  He saw a raindrop fall and put the top up.  "We did talk to the kids about driving in weather conditions, right, Jigen?"

"Definitely.  If it gets too bad, she'll pull over at the first motel."

About an hour later Arsene signaled and pulled off the road at a cheap motel, letting the others pull in as well.  Jigen got out to get them rooms and everyone else piled in once they had a spot.  The vampire came last and Lupin stared at him.  "What?" Spike asked.  "It's cold out there."  He looked at Xander.  "I sniffed the stuff, it's not addictive but he's a pissy bitch when he comes down.  Done it twice now.  Let 'im sleep it off."  He flopped down in a chair and stole a cigarette off Jigen, lighting it quickly.  "Ahhhhhh," he sighed.  "Been too long.  Stupid wannabes wouldn't let me smoke, said it was bad for me."  He stared Lupin down.  "He'll be fine."

"He's been given it how many times?" Goemon asked.   Spike held up 3 fingers. "You're sure it's not addictive?"

"Reasonably.  They did it to themselves plenty of times.  The guards did it every few days to keep their devotion intact."  He took another large inhale and sighed in pleasure again.  "Missed this.  Peach's'll get you for sending the fruits to them."

"That's why we're heading to Mexico," Lupin told him.

"Ewww!" Melissa shouted from the next room.

Jigen opened the connecting door, picking the other one to get in there.  He slowly backed out and ran into Goemon, turning and shaking his head. "No, you don't want to go in there."

Lupin peeked since Jigen looked so horrified.  He shuddered and walked in there to stop them.  "Get off him!"  He pulled his daughter off Ishi, who looked dazed but whimpered in misery.  "Quit that!"

"We were trying to shock you, daddy," she said sweetly.  "Are you okay, Ishi?"

He ran to the bathroom to get sick, kicking the door shut when his sister tried to go help him.

"I think you've done enough, daughter, go torment the vampire," Lupin ordered, pointing in there.  "You're going to be around the adults for the rest of this rescue.  Goemon, your son is getting sick."

Goemon glared at the children as he went to take care of his son.  "Arsene!!" he yelled.

"Shit!" she screamed, hiding behind her father.  "Sorry, we were going for shock!  Don't kill me!"

Goemon grabbed her and spanked her until she wiggled away and went to hide in that bathroom.  "Get out here!"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Goemon!  I was going for shock value!"

"Stick to tormenting the vampire, Arsene," Jigen called.  "Get out here.  He won't get you again."

Lupin looked at Goemon.  "Feel better, buddy?" he asked with a grin.

"Not yet.  I shall stay with the children.  So no more further incidences happen."   He went in to sit with the children, making sure his son came out of the bathroom and that everything would be normal again.

Arsene stuck her head out of the bathroom.   "Is he calm again?"

"Mostly," Jigen agreed, glaring at her.  "Too much shock."

"I'll be better from now on."  She came out and went to talk to the vampire.  "So, you're Spike.  Do you enjoy killing people or is that just a nifty and neat hobby for you?"

"You guys are just walkin' happy meals to me," he assured her with a smirk.  "Care to try it out?"

"Make my daughter a vampire and I will take great pleasure of staking you in a few places before I attempt your heart, and I can promise to miss at least twice," Lupin growled.

"You don't think I'd make a good vampire, daddy?"

"Jigen, where are her pills," Lupin demanded.  Jigen pulled a small tin out of his pocket and handed one over.  He walked over and forced his daughter's mouth open, popping it inside.  He took the water Jigen had poured and poured it in afterwards, forcing her to swallow or drown.  "She'll be asleep soon," he promised, going back to staring at his lover's limp body.  "What is in that mixture?"

"Not a clue," Spike said with a big grin.  This was better than the tele any day.  "Not a chemist, am I?"

"Fine, we've got a few of those in the farther reaches of the group."  Lupin pulled out his phone book and phone, dialing a number from it.  "Fihad, it's Lupin.  Xander was just dose with something that he described as a peyote and alcohol enema.  This is his third exposure to it.  He's come down before.  No, we've got some of the serum.  No, a cult," he sighed.  "They wanted him to call Satan so they could ascend or something."  He nodded.  "Yeah, a whole jar of it.  I wanted to give some to Pop and the cops, but that may be a bit meaner than I usually am to him."  He smirked.  "They were in the way and the bitch was threatening my daughter."

"You killed someone over me, daddy?" Arsene asked, starting to sound doped up herself.

"Yes, dear, I did.  She wanted to hurt you a lot then kill you," he said patiently.  "Then I shot some idiots who were in my way."  He listened to the phone again.  "Sure, Fihad.  How would we do that?"  He hung up as Marcus stood up.  "Fine.  Take the jug to Fihad and have him siphon off at least six vials for me." Marcus nodded and went to do that for him, anything to get away from the vampire.  "And no stopping for sex with Ethan and Ripper," he called after him.

"Yes, dad."  Marcus disappeared before any more helpful advice could come his way.  He smiled at the receptionist.  "Hi.  Lupin sent me."

"The doctor is in the back," she said with a smile for him.  "What happened this time?"

"Xander got taken by a cult who used this mixture on him," he said, patting the vase.  "He described it as an alcohol and peyote mix before he passed out.  They wanted him to call Satan so they could find demons to train them."  She burst out laughing, shaking her head.  "Truth, unfortunately.  That and we've been blessed with a vampire and Arsene together."

"Ooh, you poor thing," she said, standing up to kiss him on the cheek.  "I'm so sorry for you, Marcus."

"Thank you, my dear."  He smiled at Fihad and handed over the jug.   "Lupin said to get him about six vials if you wouldn't mind.  I'm escaping from Arsene and the vampire talking."

"Did she take a pill?"

"Oh, yes.  This would be after she decided to go for shock value and kissed Ishi so the parents would catch them.  Ishi's presently getting ill.  Then she walked up to Spike and asked if he liked to kill people or was it just a nifty hobby."

Fihad burst out laughing, shaking his head as he walked back to his office.  "Follow, Marcus."

"You're much more sane and fun, anything I can help with?"

"You can tell me what someone wrote on a patient's back if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course.  Always happy to help."  He tapped on the pointed-to door, walking in.  "Hello," he said in Arabic.  "I was asked to translate what was written on you?"  The woman turned her head away and lowered her shirt.  "Hmm."  He lightly ran a finger over the words.  "Hmm.  Interesting. It's nothing horrible.  Mostly a few curses and some bad words that he's calling you. No literal curses or anything."  She burst out crying and hugged him.  "It's all right," he soothed, patting her on the back.  "You can clean it off with no problem.  Now, that tattoo on your arm is another matter but it should still be fine overall as long as that's the only one."  He gave her one last pat on the back then left, heading to the office.   "She'll be fine.  The words are mostly insults.  The tattoo on her arm is troubling but it's also backwards so not a real problem."

Fihad grinned at him.  "Good.  I figured that about the paintings. What do you think it was done in?"

"Did you get some of that on you?" Marcus asked tolerantly.

"No, I had one of those little monsters earlier that remind you of a Pokemon."

"Ah, they can make you stupid with contact.  Want me to measure that out for you?"  Fihad waved a hand for him to do it.  "The vials?"

"In the rack waiting," he said happily.  He got out from behind his desk, letting him measure out the serum with a suction bulb.  "You're very good at that."

"Thank you.  Ethan's been working on my potion skills."  He measured out the six vials then corked them all.  "There we are.  The rest is yours.  Xander's been given it three times now and he's coming down from the last.  The vampire said he became a cranky bastard each time he came down.  The guards of the cult apparently did it regularly to show their devotion.  The vampire said it's not addictive but it's apparently very strong.  Xander basically asked Lupin to save him and passed out."

"Interesting," Fihad agreed, nodding.  "I'm sure I can figure out what is in it and make some more."

"If not, perhaps Xander could get someone to tell him the recipe.  It could be handy," Marcus noted smugly.  He picked up the rack of tubes.  "I'll be off now."  He searched for the car, it was quite distinctive and easy enough to find since he had done quite a bit of magic in it while practicing.  He landed behind it and walked inside, handing the rack to Lupin.  "Fihad had dealt with something that made him stunned stupid for a few hours so I measured them out.  Is that enough?"

"Perfect," Lupin said smugly.  He put them aside.  "I'm going to have someone use a few of those for us."   Xander moaned so he stroked his stomach.  "I'm right here, it's okay."

"I don't feel so good."

"Bathroom is behind me but Jigen's in there.  Fortunately there's an extra sink."  Xander got up and raced over there to get sick.  Lupin got up to stroke his back, making him feel better.  Then he rinsed out the sink and led Xander back to the bed, tucking him in.  "There, that's better, right?"  Xander nodded and curled up on his chest, burrowing under the blankets to hide.

Jigen came out of the bathroom wiping off his hands.  "Sorry about that."

"That's fine.  Rinse out the sink."

"Sure, Lupin.  She...he okay?"

"He's fine, Jigen.  Just a bit of an upset tummy."  He stroked the top of the lump.  "We'll let him rest tonight and head to Mexico tomorrow."

"That's fine," Marcus agreed.  "I'm sure we can find him a doctor down there if we need to."  He glanced at the other bed, then at Lupin, who shrugged and nodded.  "Thank you.  No vampire?"

"He left," Jigen noted, crawling in on Xander's free side.  "Hey, you can cuddle up to me too.  Just don't kiss me."  Xander wiggled until his butt was nestled against Jigen's side.  "That's fine.  My leg's there for your butt too."  He patted the top of the blankets.  "Kids?"

"Goemon enforced a bedtime," Lupin said smugly.  "I'm sending a vial back with them for the teachers there to look over."

"Good idea.  It could be really helpful in some cases.  When are they going back?"

"Tomorrow night, once we're safe."  He was thankful it hadn't been a real fight this time.  The kids didn't need to see that stuff yet.  Someone pounded on the door.  "Marcus, kill them."

Marcus got up with a sigh and headed to the doorway, then grabbed his sword, opening the door to show one enraged vampire.   "Did you want to exchange witty banter with him before I kill him or after?" he asked dryly.

"Where is Harris?" Angel growled as he pushed past Marcus.  Who grabbed a stake and startled to whistle.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm being as annoying as you are.  Xander was heavily drugged earlier by those same people who wanted him to call Satan."

"We figured that you were on such good basis with him that you could help them better," Lupin said dryly.

Xander lifted his head out.  "Either eat me to put me out of my misery or go away, Deadboy."  He burrowed back in, getting comfortable until he started to feel sick again.  Then he ran into the bathroom and immediately turned on the fan.  Jigen must have been eating Mexican food again.

Angel stared at them.  "What did you do to him this time?"

"We didn't.  The cult we sent your way did," Jigen told him.  "Now go away before we let Marcus stake you."

Marcus tapped him on the back with the stake.  "Now, let's see, right about there?"  Angel stomped off.  "Thank you."  He closed the door, then opened it and went to pick up the child heading out of the parking lot after him and carry her back.  He put Melissa down next to her father and closed and locked the door, then went to check on the other children.  They were all still in bed.

"You were doing what?" Jigen asked.

"Going to hunt him down and stake him?" she suggested hopefully.

"Denied, that's our fun," Lupin told her.  "Bed. Now."

"Yes, sir."  She trudged back to her spot next to Lotus, curling up beside her.  "We can't stake the stupid vampire," she muttered.  "Uncle said that was his fun."

"That's fine, there's others there who need special attention," Lotus soothed, patting her on the head.  "Sleep now.  It's a long drive to Mexico."  Melissa nodded and settled down to nap.

Goemon looked at his daughter and shook his head.  "That is our job, daughter, not yours.  Do not worry about them, they will suffer greatly someday."  He closed his eyes again, going back to sleep.   He got up to slam the connecting door shut when he heard Marcus moan.

"Marcus, you had better be getting ready to call our names or be having a nightmare," Lupin joked.

"Sore back," he complained, flipping onto his side.  "It wasn't that sort of moan, Lupin.  Besides, you're taken and Xander would kill me in bed."

"Just don't call Goemon's name this time; Arsene would use it to pick on you," Xander muttered from his hiding spot.

Jigen rubbed his back.  "Sleep, Xander. You need it to come down."  The lump shifted, curling up on his chest instead and he let the boy fall asleep like that.  "How soon should we know if this will cause damage?" he asked quietly.

"Fihad will tell us tomorrow probably," Lupin promised.  He shifted closer, curling up behind Xander's lax body.  "Nap, it'll be a long trip tomorrow with the kids.  Each of us will take a car."  Jigen nodded, closing his eyes.

"The Jetta is Xander's inhuman baby," Marcus warned.  "He's picky about it.  He said I can't drive it."

"We'll figure it out in the morning, Marcus.  Rest for now."

"We need to get into Xander's investments again too," Lupin said quietly.

"His laptop's in the bag," Jigen agreed.  "We don't have the password."

"It's Melissa's initials and Arsene's birthday with Ishi's year," Marcus offered.

"Sleep, Marcus," Lupin ordered.  "You're going to be driving the kids."  Marcus shifted with a small moan but went silent again.  Lupin smirked at Jigen, who shrugged.  "It's good someone knows."  He put an arm around both of them then closed his eyes.

Jigen settled in for the night, content to be the bodypillow this time.

***

Lupin looked around the Jetta's dashboard, noticing there were extra switches and buttons on a wood-inlay panel in the middle of the dash, plus an extra two buttons in front of the automatic's gear shift.  "Interesting," he said dryly, flipping the one marked 'monitor'.  The passenger's side of the windshield popped up with an illusion of the rear-view camera along with a reading of what the other switches were for.  He started it with the special key, it had an anti-theft key system, and now he knew why.  "Who does he get to do these things?" he muttered as he backed out using the monitor.  He saw Marcus reach back to smack one of the kids and snickered, knowing it was Arsene again.  He picked up the phone to call his cell.  "What happened?  No, he's got a rear view camera."  He listened as he flipped off the monitor and headed off with Jigen in the lead.  "Feed her another pill and she'll nap for most of the trip. You'll take lead once we get across the border."  He hung up, speeding up as they headed up on the on-ramp.

This car accelerated smoothly and it was a nice ride.  Xander had good taste, even if he did know some oddballs who could customize things.

He didn't want to know why one of the switches had been marked 'missile' on the screen.

***

Jigen looked at the house as they pulled up outside it, nodding at the simpleness of the cliff- top home.  Nothing showy, nothing like the London building.  Just a simple house with a good view apparently.  He stopped the car and turned it off, unlocking the doors so the kids could get out and run inside to the bathroom.  Ishi got the doorcode on the second try and raced ahead.  By the time Jigen got in there he could hear doors slamming and a mechanical hum from beneath them.  "A generator?  There were power lines," he said as Lupin came in.  The hum stopped and they stared at each other.

"Another Xander creation?" Lupin asked.

Jigen nodded. "Probably but we'll have time to explore it.  How was the car?"

"Bondish.  It has a missile system.  It has a rear-view camera that takes over the passenger's side of the windshield."  He grinned.  "It's a great car otherwise."  They got out of the way as Goemon and Marcus carried in Xander, finding a couch to plant him on.  "There."  They grunted as they put him down, then those two went to find the children while Jigen and Lupin took off to explore.  Lupin found the office first and whistled, bringing Jigen.  "Maybe it's got plans.  He usually leaves something."  He typed the passcode that worked on the laptop into the computer, frowning.  "Huh, it won't work."

"Try 'J' for her middle initial."  Lupin changed it and it worked.  "He wanted to name her Joyce, after Buffy's mother.  She was good to him," he explained at the shocked look.

"Interesting."  Lupin found the security company's overlay and the one for the house they were in, bringing it up.  Everything looked normal but one thing.  There was a security door in the middle of the kitchen hallway that didn't seem to go anywhere.  They looked at each other, then headed that way before the kids could find it.  They found the red door easily enough, it stood out in the dim hallway.  They also found the DNA/handprint reader.  Lupin tried his and waited.

"Lupin the Third.  Admittance granted," the computer chimed.  "DNA matched and handprint registered.  Other guest?"  Jigen switched his hand for Lupin's.  "Jigen Diasuke.  Admittance granted.  DNA matched and handprint registered."

The door swung open, closing once they were inside the closet-shaped space and the lights came on.  The elevator took them down a level, directly to a garage.  "Holy Mother of God," Jigen breathed, looking around at the equipment.  He walked over to the car, one of Xander's little Fiat's, and opened the door.  He looked at the insides, then carefully at the dash.  He found the place where a knob should go and opened the panel, breathing in.  "He's got another one," he called.  He got out, leaning on the roof.  "This one's got oil, stun gun, missile, and thumbtacks listed on the switches."

Lupin was looking at the workbenches.  "This is fantastic," he said, holding up a small cube.  "What is this?"  He felt it, it was slightly squishy, and that activated a beam of light.  He pointed it at a screen, watching as a picture played.  "It's a video player and probably a recorder too."  He squeezed it again in the same spot and it turned off.  He looked at Jigen.  "When did he start doing this?"

"You don't think he's letting someone else use the house?" Jigen asked.

"No, I don't," Lupin said honestly.  "He's way too security conscious about some things.  When he's working in my lab at the main house I'm not allowed to come in and help.  I doubt this is anyone's space."  They both turned as the elevator moved away, waiting while it came back down and Melissa stepped out.  "You kids are allowed down here?"

"No, I'm allowed down here.  Let's hope you didn't erase that."  She took the cube and looked inside the single hole as she pressed it in a certain sequence.  "Good."  She scratched a spot then plugged a cord into it.   "Sorry, we hadn't downloaded that one yet," she said calmly, looking at her father.  "Welcome to the South of France, daddy," she said with a grin.  Jigen's cigarette fell out of his mouth.  "Don't burn the car, he'll pout."  He picked up the butt and stuck it back into his mouth, then walked over to look down at his daughter.

"How long have you been doing this, Melissa?" Lupin asked, sounding smug but still looking a bit stunned.

"Since he taught us how to make the mice tail and the little robots he sometimes uses," Melissa admitted as she hopped up to sit on the workbench.  "There's seats under the metal table."  Jigen went to get them.  "There's champagne chilling in the minibar fridge too," she offered to her Uncle, smirking at him.  "Daddy said I showed a real flair for it when I helped him create a new robot design.  We worked on it together."

"I remember that," Jigen admitted, handing Lupin his seat.  He sat down facing his daughter.  "All this though?"

"Is some his, some mine, and some stuff that we've gotten plans for and built," she admitted.  "Neither of us are super geniuses or anything like that, but we can easily steal plans."

"So, all those times you two went to the South of France with Ishi, you were here?" Lupin asked.  She nodded.  "What about Ishi?"

"He's not great at this but Daddy was teaching him how to hack with one of his people.  So he's got a classroom set up upstairs.  Daddy does enough to be dangerous but Ishi and I both are learning more so we're even more useful to the group.  Ishi got bored and asked to learn something new but the fine little details you have when you work on robotics isn't for him.  Xander handed him his computer book and Ishi decided that was pretty interesting."

"So you're doing this for the group?" Lupin asked.

"Kinda, but also for ourselves in case we need something to fall back on if we're seriously injured.  Arsene's been taking extra lessons with Uncle Goemon.  Lotus has a fallback spot in case something horrible happens to her.  Uncle Marcus doesn't have a clue and Bix has seen us with textbooks but she apparently thought it was part of our studies."  Both fathers nodded.  "So, we've taken a small skill and used other's genius to turn it for our own benefit.  Daddy also funds some guys who are making lasers practical weapons and portable, someone who's working on the ideas of battle armor and battle robots for military use, and people who do neat things like teach us to cook over the computer. Which is a really handy class to take, and pretty easy.  As long as you try and it's edible it's all good."  She grinned and shrugged.  "So, welcome to my workshop, daddy and uncle.  What do you think of the car?  We can't find the right sort of knob to go in the dash.  I want something that looks a bit flashier but daddy thought a simple wooden knot would do best."

"This is amazing," Jigen told her, still looking like he had been hit in the head with a board.  "That's only been two years."

"If you can read a diagram with a circuit design then you're able to build it," she reminded him.  "We simply depend on others to design stuff for us.  He's got a few guys out of Cal Tech who design stuff and we routinely go surfing at the electronic shows.  He tempted one guy into making pretty designs for him and pays him handsomely for that.  Auntie Murami was impressed when Xander brought her the contract so she could start paying him.  He's paid like the genius he is."

"She mentioned Xander had hired another helper, but I thought it was for his collections," Lupin admitted.  He looked around again.  Then back at his niece.  "Wow.  I'm damn impressed, Melissa.  Arsene's learning what?"

"Extraction techniques.  She's learning how to escape from places right now."

Jigen shook his head quickly.  "Baby girl, I had no idea.  I'm stunned, but damn impressed with you."

"And you still love us, right?" she asked, sounding hopeful.

"I'd love you without this so this only adds to it," he promised, getting up to give her a hug.  He noticed the chair had retreated under the table and chuckled.  "He got tired of tripping over it?"

"Yup.  It's got a return to the home base code built into it."  She snuggled back into his arms.  "I wasn't really worried but I didn't want you to look at me like I'm some weirdo."

"You're not," Lupin promised.  "You're very good at a lot of things.  That makes you a greater asset in the field, 'Lis.  You two can work in the lab at home.  I wouldn't mind."

"You know how daddy is about being shy and not wanting to look stupid?  Well, I've inherited that too," she admitted gently.  "We hate to look stupid in front of the rest of the group.  Only Ishi knows about this room.  Oh, the doors are closed again.  Technically there's a swimming area down in the bottom of the cliff, but the doors close at low tide.  The fish'll be able to get out once tide comes back."

"That one robot that wouldn't work, was that you guys?" Lupin asked.

"Yup.  Did you like the design modifications?  Daddy sent it to his pet designer and got it modified and souped up for you."

"I thought it was great once we got the controller working again," Lupin said dryly.

"Daddy switched them out when you gave it to him to fiddle with."

"Obviously," Jigen agreed, still slightly in shock.  "Wow."  He gave her an extra squeeze.  "You're so much like your mom that I'm ...stunned, 'Lis."

"Daddy, I am like you too.  Only I've got his technical bent as well. Oohh, the shrink at the new school found the place where I was blocking myself from using a gun and we're working on it so can I spend some time with you in the range?"

"Sure," he agreed, smiling at her.  His daughter was just like Xander.

She kissed him on the cheek.  "I'd take after you but I'd look dumb in the hat and I hate smoking, daddy," she whispered.  He chuckled and gave her an extra squeeze before letting her go.  "I'm the best of both of you.  I have your flair for the quiet dramatics and mom's skills with a soldering iron and a circuit board.  Oh, the missile system does work but it's a single use only.  None of the reservoirs on the Fiat are filled and we can't get the stun gun setting to work right.  It's too powerful.  It'll electrocute the car instead of just shorting out the engine.  It worked well enough on the plane, but not on this one."

"Plane?" Lupin asked, his eyes lighting up.

"A small little crop duster, Uncle, not something we can take back and forth across the Channel."

"Pity.  We could use a plane," Lupin admitted.  He looked at Jigen.  "Do I want to swat him and pout at him for keeping this from us?"

"He was building it for the kids," Jigen said mildly.  "He sneaks it into our stuff now and then when he thinks he can get away with it."

"Daddy said he thought you'd think it was dumb so he didn't tell you," Melissa told them.  "He's like that in case you hadn't realized."  She hopped down.  "Come on, let's go wake up Daddy.  Before he pounces Uncle Marcus and growls at him again.  We can let Uncle G fish for dinner."

"You're going to give us the tour, right?" Lupin prompted.  He wouldn't let her hide like her mother did.  He refused to let her think that they'd be ashamed or repulsed by her being smart.

She grinned at him.  "It's not my place to do so.  It's Daddy's.  The house he ceded to us is the one in London."  She opened the elevator door, letting them inside first.  "Lights off, go to static mode," she ordered.  "Finish downloading security updates and that video."  She got on and the door closed.  "The design guy's addition," she explained.  They came out of the closet and she closed the door, tapping a code into the side of the handprint scanner.  It retreated and she headed back to the kitchen, finding Arsene and Goemon back there.  "Hey, there's a swimming spot and it should have fish," she offered.  Arsene grinned at her.  "It's got doors that close at low tide."

"None of us brought suits," Goemon reminded them mildly, frowning at Melissa.  "There are fish?"

"It comes out of the ocean, Uncle G.  There's almost always fish.  We can check if you want dinner tonight."

"I call helper," Arsene said quickly.  "I have no idea how to do fish besides grilling it."  She hopped up from the stool she had been sitting on.  "What's that door in the hallway?"

"It leads to Daddy's workspace here."

"Oh.  Never mind.  That's more you and Ishi than me.  How do we get down there?"

Melissa opened the back door and walked out onto the porch, then down the stairs and to the doors on the small spot of grass. It looked like a root cellar, but she opened it to show stone stairs.  "This was already here, it's in case of earthquake. It leads down to a natural cavern."  She led the way down, flicking on the battery-operated lights.  "Close the door," she ordered.  The stairs spiraled for a few minutes of walking and finally they heard water and a splashing.  She frowned, looking down in the pool.  Then she looked out the window at the water.  "Well, it's nearly high enough," she decided, opening the doors to let the dolphin out.  "Have a nice day, Flipper."  She shut the doors once it had jumped out, checking the water to make sure there weren't any more trapped in there, then pointed.  "That end's shallow enough to stand up in, Uncle G.  There's a spear on the wall behind you."   She grinned at her parents and Arsene.  "Pretty neat, huh?"

"Very neat," Arsene agreed, taking off her shirt and shorts so she could dive in, coming up holding a fish.  "It swam up to me."

"It didn't know any better," Lupin said with a grin.  He got down to his boxers and climbed in.  "Jigen, one of you find a bowl or something to hold them."

"There's a basket behind the spear," Melissa offered, handing the wire fish trap over.  Arsene put her catch into there, letting it rest in the water for now. It couldn't get out so it'd be fine.  She grinned at her dad, winking at him.  "There's a pretty fishie in the side pool.  It's warmer over there."  He walked that way with her, looking down at the huge fish that looked like a catfish.  "Daddy's been trying to figure out what to do with her."

Lupin swam over to the other side of the main pool to peer at the other pool.  "Is that fresh water?"

"Yeah, it comes from the well that feeds the house," Melissa told him.  "It's a catfish who got in here through the well somehow.  We found it here the first time we came down here."  She reached in, petting it gently.  "It's friendly."

Goemon caught a few more fish, putting them in the basket.  "This should be enough," he decided.  "That one should be released back into the wild."

"We couldn't figure out how to get it somewhere without hurting it," Melissa told him.  "It's too big for a bag and it'd die if we put it into the ocean. Here it gets other fish and fresh water as the tides lessen and refill the basin. Plus it's got some funny little caves down there to hide in."

Jigen stripped down to get in there with it, checking the caves.  He came up with a few waterproof latex bags, tossing them off to the side.  He checked one last one then got out, taking one of the small fish Goemon had caught to feed the poor guardian.  "It was hiding stuff," Jigen announced after opening the first bag.  He looked around, he could feel a breeze from behind him.  "Where does the tunnel lead, Melissa?"

"The beach further down.  There's no real beach out front but that one comes out about six miles away.  Daddy thought some of it might have collapsed and he said it was a tight fit for him when he tried it the first time.  He bought this one first."  She walked around to help Arsene out of the water, then Goemon.  Her father climbed out with Jigen's help and they all got partially redressed before heading up the stairs.  Melissa checked the light panel, then flipped off the lights, which released the doors for the tide, switching out the fish.  "You can't swim when the doors are open.  The pool with the catfish seals itself before the other doors open but otherwise that last twist of the stairs is submerged."  She let them out the top and relocked the doors, letting Arsene troop with their dinner into the kitchen.

"Did Daddy Xander rob some pirates to get their treasures?" Arsene asked as she cut into the first fish under her father's watchful gaze.  "Sorry, I don't fillet very well."

"I'll do that, you clean them," Goemon ordered.  She nodded, turning to gut the next one in line.  "Grilled or baked?"

"Baked," Lupin suggested.  "Find some veggies to go with it."

"Cans are in the cabinet you'd expect to hold plates and the plates are in the airlocked cabinet since this place had bugs when he first bought it.  Since then, the mice have taken over and eaten the bugs."  She headed off to find Ishi and Lotus, who were in the classroom.  "Hey, we're having fish for dinner."

"The pool?"

"Yeah, and Uncle Jigen found the catfish hiding stuff," she said with a smirk.

"Hmm.  Interesting."  He typed in something and looked back at her.  "Are we explaining things?"

"I already did since Daddy's still asleep.  Where's Uncle Marcus?"

"The roof watching the sunset," Lotus said with a grin for her.   "Fish?"

"Fresh fish.  They were alive before we brought them up," Melissa told her.

Downstairs, Jigen went to wake up Xander, nudging him gently.  "Hey."

"If you found the bag with the ruby that has to go back downstairs. It's cursed if it's put into the light."  He yawned and flipped onto his side.  "The doors close automatically when you turn on the lights.  Watch out for dolphins."   He yawned again.  "Night, Jigen."

"Night, Xander."  He walked back into the kitchen, finding the bag easily enough.  He took it with him to put it back.  It was a small dive down from the stairs but he didn't mind.  When he came up, he swam over to hit the switch to let out the dolphins, watching as they swam out. He climbed back up onto the stairs and headed up them, flicking off the lights.  He heard the motors partially close the doors then reopen them, nodding at the efficiency of the system.  Xander had done very well.  He walked out, relocking the doors before heading back into the kitchen.  "Any other shocks, brat?"

"Not really.  There's a dish for tv.  There's phone lines and power, with a backup generator.  There's a sterile suite upstairs from the last owner.  The classroom's pretty normal but smaller."  The Lord of the Kitsune appeared.  "They've got a portal in the entryway," she offered with a grin for him.  "Hi again."

"Hello to you too, dear.  How is your mother?"

"Male again," Lupin said smugly.  "Morning to you too.  What's up?"

"One of the kits wanted to see Xander.  Kori has a bit of hero worship for him it seems."  He smirked at them.  "Have a nice swim?"

"A very nice one," Jigen agreed smugly.  "Who's treasure?"

"The last owner's.  He was a political thief."  He walked off, heading to where he could hear someone snoring.  "Xander?"  Xander batted at him.  "Xander, it is I.  Kori would like you to read to him tonight if you'd like to come up for a bit."

"Can't, sick," he muttered.  "Stupid cult got me."  He sniffed.  "Fishies?"

"Dinner."

"Hmm.  Have to get up for that."  He snuggled into the couch, only opening an eye when a smaller paw poked at him.  "Hey, Kori.  Would you like to nap with me?"

"Where she?" Kori asked, looking pitiful.

"Sniff me, kid, I'm the same only a guy again."

Kori sniffed him, then gave his Lord a very confused look.  "Him her?  Him smell like her and he sound like her, but not a her."

"We can do that as well," the Kitsune assured him, patting him on the head.  "That's still Xander, Kori.  You know who he is."

Kori pouted, then crossed his arms to pout harder.  "Him not her!"

Arsene bounced out to hug him.  "You know how big foxes can change into other things?"  Kori grinned and nodded.  "Well, Daddy Xander did the same thing with the help of a very special artifact.  The choker that helped him finally came back so now he's a daddy again instead of a mommy."

"Okay," Kori said, climbing up to sit on Xander's side.  "Read me, Xanner?"

Xander patted him on the back.  "How about we nap now and I can read to you later?"  Kori pouted at him.  "I'm sorry, little guy, but those nasty cult members gave me bad drugs and I've got a headache."

"Did you hurt 'em back?" he asked, sounding quite convinced that Xander could do that.

"We let 'em go so they could go torture a vampire," Lupin told him.  "That way they're more sorry by the time they end."

"I guess that's okay then.  As long as someone yells at them for hurting Xanner," Kori said, still pouting.  "I guard him?" he asked his Lord.

"If you'd like and Xander doesn't mind," he said tolerantly, looking at Lupin.  "Is he all right?"

"It was like sherry and peyote as an enema," Xander said.  "C'mere, Kori.  You make a very good napping buddy."  The baby curled up in his arms, being his teddy bear since he was so fluffy.  "You're such a good protector, Kori."  He gave him a gentle squeeze.  "Wanna see what I've been working on later?"

"Yes, I'd like that," Lupin said with a smirk.  "I'd love to see what you're working on and be impressed by all of it, Xander, like I already am."  He gave him a kiss on the forehead then walked the Kitsune lord back to the kitchen.  "Kori is helping him nap.  He's a very good protector.  And later Xander is going to show us his latest project."

"About time," Jigen agreed.  He looked at the head of Kitsune.  "Should we get another fish for you?"

"No, that's all right.  Make sure Kori doesn't choke on any bones if he's staying for dinner.  I'll tell his mother that he's down here."  He grinned and disappeared.

"See, dad, you don't need more kids, you've got Kori already," Arsene joked.

"As Ishi pointed out I'll have grandchildren some day."

"Not from my ass," she snorted.

"Babies don't come from that orifice," Goemon told her.

"Yes, I'm well aware of that after seeing your last son being born.  That and our Practical Education class did have those nice films recently. Most of the boys looked really sickened but Ishi laughed and said she had it easy compared to Alex's birth.  The other guys looked at him like he was a God for saying he had helped deliver two babies."

"It looked like some slime covered alien coming in through a doggy door," Melissa agreed.

"More like a watermelon out of a grapefruit from having it described," Goemon offered.  "Fujiko said it was like having a tractor trailer truck drive through a window.  Especially without the pain killers."

"Ishi wasn't that big when he was born," Lupin said dryly.  "Yu was bigger."

"Yes, but by then she was stretched out," Melissa said dryly.  "I'm imagining it's a lot like sex that way, the first time is always the most painful because you're never stretched those muscles before."

"Not to blatantly change the subject, but when are field trials?" Jigen asked.

"They're not telling us, that way we can't tell our parents so they can't come help," Arsene told him.

"But there is news," Melissa said proudly.  "We'll be leading a group while the teachers get the other group."

"Congratulations," Lupin said happily, hugging her.  "I'm so damn impressed!"  He hugged his own daughter, then went to find the other two and hug them.  It was impressive, he hadn't even gotten to do that while he had been there.  He had been excused from them but he hadn't gotten to be a student leader.  "I just heard, congrats, guys," he said, hugging them both when he found them together.  He looked at the monitor they were looking at.  "Why are you two watching porn?"

"Because someone sent it to mom," Ishi told him honestly.

"I'm trying to see what the big deal is," Lotus told him.  She grinned at him. "Is that about us leading a group on the field exercises?"

"Yup, not even *I* got to do that," he said proudly.  "I was excused but I was never allowed to be a student leader."  He gave them another squeeze.  "Dinner's nearly ready. That's really pitiful porn too."  He looked closer.  "Hey, I know her.  Shit!  Jigen!"  Jigen came jogging up the stairs.  "Look familiar?" he asked, getting out of the way.

Jigen looked, then groaned.  "Who in the hell taped that?" he complained. "I want names."

Ishi looked at him, then at the monitor, then at him.  "Who is she?"

"Your mom in another...."  He and Lupin looked at each other.  "That was Melody."

"It was," Lupin agreed.  "That's from the other time."  Ishi downloaded it and burned it onto a dvd, handing it to them.  "Thanks.  Let's go downstairs.  Get cleaned up.  We'll celebrate tonight if 'Lis'll go get the champagne from downstairs."

"We've got some in the fridge," Ishi offered, walking them downstairs.  "Hey, dad, Uncle Lupin said we could have some champagne.  Is there any in the fridge?"

"There is," he agreed, handing it over.  "Glasses are beside the sink.  Dinner should be ready soon."  He handed over the plates.  "Set the table."

"Yes, sir," Arsene said, taking the plates to find the table with them.  "Hey, there's no dining room.  Mom?"

"Left at the hallway.  Blue door," floated in from the living room.  "Then push the button."  Xander walked back with Kori in his arms.  "He's staying, is there enough?"

"Of course."  Goemon petted the baby on the back.  "How are you tonight?"

"I happy," he said with a grin.  "I be read to later."

"Good.  Hearing stories makes you smarter.  That's why Melissa's so smart," Arsene said as she came back.  She took the baby.  "Come on, let's see if we can find you a booster seat since you're too big for a high chair."

"Yes, I'm a big fox now!"

Xander grinned.  "So, who is Marcus doing now?"

"Not a clue," Lupin admitted.  "I haven't seen him since we got you inside."

"He snuck out a few minutes after that," Goemon offered.  "What were my children doing?"

"Someone sent Xander a taped version of Melody."  Goemon dropped the spoon he had been using, staring at them in horror. "In porn format.  Your daughter was trying to see what the big deal was and Ishi was trying to figure out why this person sent it."

"Who would have had that?" Xander asked.

"Not a clue," Jigen admitted.  "We kept all those out of sight."  He looked at Lupin, who shrugged.  "None got out?"

"No, not a one.  They were all in the safe back at the house and I had Murami take them a few months back.  Then again, I don't remember that room."

"Since I didn't see it, where was it?" Xander asked.  Lupin handed over the DVD so he took it up to the office to run it.  He frowned as he came back.  "That was New Orleans about six years from now.  Before the wedding but after the train trip.  It was a mark I was teasing."  He leaned on the counter, watching Goemon pull out dinner.  "No veggies for the kids?"

"In the pot on the stove," he noted.  "It's potatoes."   He looked at Xander.  "Who would have had that?"

"No one.  I was in a hotel room.  I made sure there weren't any cameras so unless someone got us from across the street...."  He trailed off as Arsene and Kori came back.  "Did they find you a booster seat?" he asked with a grin.

Kori nodded.  "Yup, sure did," he agreed, hugging him.  "Can I sit next to you?"

"If the men don't mind."

"No, that's fine, Xander," Lupin assured him.  "As long as Jigen doesn't mind."

"No, I don't have a problem with Kori hogging her...him.  Sorry, Xander."

"Not an issue.  I'm still doing the same thing.  I nearly shaved my legs when I showered this morning.  After a year, I'd expect some slippage.  We confused poor Kori all to hell by me not being female."

"Hell coming for me?" Kori asked.  "Why?  Amb's'dor like me."

"Not like that, little one.  I was telling them how it confused you that I wasn't a female."

"Yeah, you not a mommy person," he agreed sadly.  "Liked you as a mommy person. You cuddly and soft."

"We liked him like that too but he's supposed to be a guy," Jigen pointed out, patting the baby fox spirit on the head.   "Maybe some day he'll change back for a while."

"Okay," he sighed.  "Dinner ready?"

"Nearly," Goemon assured him.   "Have you washed your paws yet?"

"I not a 'coon!" he said, starting to pout.

"But you've still got to wash your paws, that way you don't have dirt and things that can get on the food and make it taste nasty," Arsene told him.   "Even we have to wash our paws."

Ishi nodded.  "We've still got to do that.  You can help us."  He took the baby into the bathroom with him and Lotus, getting cleaned up for dinner.  They made sure the baby's fur was dried off and smoothed back down so he didn't have to fuss with it while he ate.  They came back and found food being carried to the table so followed it like the walking stomachs they were.  He looked at his father, who gave him a long look.  "Fine, I'll stick with just one fish."

"I can go make a quick salad if that'd help," Lotus offered.

"We weren't mean to the fish, Lotus," Arsene sighed.  "You can eat it.  Fish don't have big brains and don't really have a lot of emotions for you to feel."

"I'd still rather give it to Ishi and get a salad," she sighed.  "It's just simpler."

"Salad icky," Kori said very seriously from beside Xander.

"I like salad."

Lupin grinned at him.  "She's a girl," he said with a wink.  "They're all strange.  If you can find it, go for it and bring some for everyone else but the baby fox."  She nodded, getting up to do that.  She came back a few minutes later with a spinach and nut salad with cheese, taking a lot and handing it down to the others.

"Dressing?" Arsene asked hopefully.

"It's on there.  Vinegar and oil."

Kori let Xander put some on his plate, taking a hesitant bite.   He grimaced and shook his head.  "Cheese nasty."

"It's strong," Lupin agreed.  "Eat the spinach without it."  Kori nibbled on the greens, wiping it off on his bread, which he ate later.  It was apparently better that way.

Xander looked at Lupin.  "Who sent it?"

"I'm not sure.  Ishi found it."  They looked at Ishi, who shrugged because his mouth was full.  "No sender's address?"

Ishi took a drink of water so he could clear his mouth.   "It had one but it wasn't familiar," he admitted.  "I didn't delete the message."

"Thanks, I'll look at it later," Xander said with a small shrug when Lotus looked at her.  "I want to know who else remembered and had that."

"It would be strange if it was someone like Emmajean," Lotus agreed.  She dug back into her salad.  "Dad, did you carry memories of that other time?"

"Not before you children appeared," he admitted quietly.

Kori patted Xander on the arm.  "Are they talking about big people things?"

"No, not really.  Just oddness."  He kissed the baby on the side of the muzzle.  "Eat up so I can read to you."  He dug in, smiling happily at her as he chewed.  "Good boy.  Lips together."  Kori concentrated to make sure he was eating properly, leaning against Xander's arm.  "Good boy, Kori."  The baby grinned up at him between bites then dug back into his fish again.

"Check for bones," Goemon instructed.  "We don't want you to choke."  Kori slowed down and made sure there weren't any bones in his present bite, then went on eating.

Lupin grinned at Goemon.  "Looking forward to grandchildren?"

"Hopefully not for many years.  I do not want to think about my children, who are still infants, having their own," he said firmly.

"We're not exactly babies, dad," Ishi said dryly, smirking at him.

"You will always be an infant to your parent," Jigen advised.  "We'll always see you learning to walk just days after learning to crawl so you could chase after the Lotus stomach."  Lotus blushed.

"He did.  You used to kick all the time, Lotus," Lupin agreed with a big smirk.  "You used to keep your mother up for *days*, not allowing her to rest or eat without you kicking.  So she'd sit Ishi in her lap and let you kick him and he'd kick you back.  He used to stalk you around to make sure you weren't going to kick her anymore so he could beat you up for it."

She chuckled.  "Was I *really* that bad, daddy?"

"Yes," he agreed, smiling at her.  "You were horrible to carry but delightful once you were born.  We knew your brother was going to be a thief, he was always breaking out of his room."

"He ended up on our bed a few weeks after learning how to walk," Lupin told her.  "He got out of his crib somehow, came looking for his human slaves, and climbed up our bags to get onto the bed."

"Where he gave us this pouty, furious look because we weren't paying attention to his royal self," Jigen added.

"Ishi always had this look like he was an emperor and we were his human slaves," her father agreed.  "We tried very hard to break that attitude."

"And succeeded sometimes," Lupin teased.

Ishi glared at him.  "Keep it up, I do still need to practice while we're here.  I haven't practiced against you in *years*."

"That would be mean, son."

"But, dad!"

"Son!"

"Sorry, dad."  He glared at Lupin, who only smirked. "Just remember, some day you'll have grandchildren and I'll probably be helping raise them since Arsene would forget during jobs."

"They'll love us greatly.  We'll spoil them before giving them back," Xander said with a grin.  "Just wait until you have some to carry on the family name."

"Adoption," Ishi said slowly and clearly.  "Or sending it with the mother and me visiting."

"Doing so would disrespect your offspring and they would not turn out worthy of the family name," Goemon instructed.  "You must take care with them, the same as I did with you."  He smiled.  "You will do wonderfully and have learned much from all of us.  When the time comes, far in the future, you will do fine, my son."

"Glad you think so, dad, but I don't like kids that much," Ishi said dryly.  "I've got brothers for that."

"Who will most likely be following in your footsteps," Xander reminded him.  "If they don't go fully good guy on us."  He looked at Goemon.  "You know that the odds of that happening are increasing with three sons, right?"

"I do," he sighed.  "And I will send them to one of the Rays should that happen and they desire to turn against our lives."

"We'll be doing the same thing with the other two if they survive that long unmarried," Xander said dryly, smirking at him.  "And hey, we've still got Fred, Alex, and both your boys to go.  Plus Sarah could have some mild instruction."

Jigen nodded.  "She should have some self defense.  When's her next appointment?"

"Next month."  Xander ate a bite of fish, taking the bone out and putting it onto his plate.  "Good job, Goemon.  It's a good dinner."  He checked on Kori, who was starting to nod off.  "Looks like someone's ready for his bedtime story."

"I not sleepy!" he complained, rubbing the back of his eyes.

"Then let me get a book and we'll read to you until someone comes down for you, okay?"  The baby nodded, letting him pick him up and take him into the living room.  He could nap out there for now.

"Dad, I didn't want to mention it, but Morgan Zenigata's been writing me again," Lotus said calmly.  "He doesn't want to be a cop like his Uncle."

"Interesting," Lupin agreed.  "And?"

"And I like the little dweeb but he doesn't have a clue," she reminded him.  "And neither does his uncle.  I think he's going to try to do something on his own soon."

"If that happens, are you going to take him into the group?" Goemon asked.

"No," Arsene snorted.  "He's doing it as a rebellion.  He'd die in the life.  He's a lot like Auntie Dawn.  She's tough and smart and strong, she can do the work, but it'd kill her emotionally after a few years.  I think he's doing it to get closer to Lotus personally."

"I'm not ruling it out," Lotus agreed. "I also don't want him to get killed for it."

"Hey, we'll watch out for the little geek," Arsene agreed.  "He can't do anything right now.  His mom's at home and oh.... his real mother is trying to get custody again from what Uncle Ripper was saying when Ethan called us.  He was chatting in the background with someone, hopefully Dawn."

"Tell that to your other father, that's his thing," Jigen told her.

"We weren't invited into that mess but I will stand up for them being with Dawn.  Buffy was a twat," Lupin said dryly. "Did she finally find a man?"

"Yuppers," his daughter said happily.  "I checked on the flight over and sent it to Dawn.  He's a dirtbag too.  Cop, a lot like Myron, tough, unhappy. "

"So her sort of man?" Xander asked as he came back.  "Kori's napping on the couch."  He sat down again, picking back up his fork to take Kori's remaining fish from his plate.  "Why is this necessary conversation?"

"Uncle Ripper was talking in the background while Uncle Ethan called us," Lotus told him.  "We had him on speaker in the Headmistress' office.  She's going to try for custody of her boys again."

"Interesting," Xander deadpanned.  "Dawn knows?"

"I emailed her information on the new hubby," Lupin the Fourth offered.  "I'm hoping she either makes the connection or already knew."

"Then I may need a few sudden days off," Xander told Lupin, who nodded.  "Thanks, bossman.  Jigen, aren't you hungry?"

"Not really.  Just watching you."  He leaned back, blatantly watching now.  "You're so different in the different forms."

"I'd have to be.  I didn't have that much testosterone in that other form," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "Wanna find out how that changes things?" he asked with a leer.

"I'm not ready for that step yet, Xan," Jigen said quietly.

Xander put down his fork and took a drink.  "How many times did you say that it wouldn't change anything?"

"It doesn't, just that one thing that I'm not comfortable with right now," Jigen retorted.  "It doesn't change anything else."

"And on that note, we're going to go do...stuff," Melissa noted, taking her plate with her as the kids scurried from the room.

"I'm sorry, Xander."

"No, I understand but it's still bothering me," he admitted.  He took another sip of water, then looked at Lupin.  "You?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "I'll probably get all my explorations out of the way the next time I'm on top of you though," he said honestly.

"I'm not going back in that thing again unless the world is ending," Xander announced, staring Jigen down.  "Sorry, but I like my male things.  The dangly things are better for my mental health."  He picked up his fork and started to eat again, noting the silence.  "So, the kids go back when?"

"Tomorrow afternoon," Lupin offered.  "Want to head back to the main house?"

"Sure.  We don't have another job planned do we?"

"No, we don't," Lupin sighed.  "If you were still female we could pull one more off but since you've already changed back we can't.  It'll take a cute girl to do it."

"Some of us are cute girls," Lotus said as she walked back in to gather dishes.  "I'm doing dishes tonight.  Melissa wanted to know if you wanted to work on the taser setting tonight."

"Maybe.  You guys are heading back to school tomorrow."

"Fine, the emergency is over with," Lotus agreed, gathering things and taking them back to the kitchen.  She was working on the dishes when her father came in to help her, giving her a hug.  "Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome.  Though it was Melissa's night to do them."

"She's in the lab already and it's a bad idea to interrupt her.  You'll get her coming out with her hair a mess and her eyes wide with thoughts she can't get to stop.  Then she loses stuff and she gets pissed at herself for not writing them down, then she'll be cranky for weeks.  It's easier this way," she shared with a grin.

He nodded, patting her on the back.  "As long as you don't mind then she can take one of your nights."

"She owes me about six by now," Lotus said dryly.  "Some weeks she's all ideas and frustration."

"Your uncle has moments like that but he's learned how to deal with them.  I'll mention the problem to him to see if he can help her."  They both looked over as Melissa came back up from the lab, her hair standing up in places and messily out of place, definitely not her usual look.  "Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

"Hell no!"  She walked out onto the back porch and let out a shriek of rage.

Jigen came rushing in with Lupin.  "What happened now?" he asked.

"She's frustrated with her ideas," Lotus said calmly, very much like her father would be.  "She's got her mother's idea problem."

"The same sort Lupin used to have," Goemon added for good measure.

"Let me handle this one then," he noted, heading out to talk to the poor thing.  "Hey, 'Lis.  What's wrong?  Is it not working or are you stuck?"

"I'm stuck!  I've got this idea that's *inches* from the front of my mind and I can't bring it up.  I can feel it, I have hints of it, but I can't get it to come out and I definitely can't get it to come out my fingers so I can write it down!"  She started to pace.  "This is a fucking curse. I know it's a fucking curse because it's going to drive my puny ass insane.  It's not bad enough that mom doesn't get them this badly, but she doesn't *forget* them when she's not thinking about them!  Hello, this is so fucking unfair!" she yelled to the night sky.  "I hate you!"

"Calm down," Lupin soothed, pulling her into his arms for a hug.  "We all have those moments.  I get them too.  Usually, the idea will come back, just mutated so it's more practical."

"No!" she said frantically, pulling back to glare at him. "If I lose it, it's lost.  Truly, fricken lost!  I don't get them back, they don't conveniently pop back around when they could do some good again, they're *LOST*, Uncle."  She ran her hands through her hair.  "I hate being smart and creative.  Why can't I be a slut like my sister?  It'd be *so* much easier!"

"Calm down," Jigen said from the doorway.  She glared at him.  "I mean it.  It won't come if you're frantic.  So calm down and relax.  Meditate if you have to.  Let them come, don't force them, baby girl."  He pulled her closer to hug her.  "It'll come," he promised quietly.

"It's not coming," she complained, starting to cry.  "It's like I'm blocked and there's tons of ideas but they won't come out and I'm stuck and I hate it.  It's like a sinus infection in my brain and it's giving me headaches and I hate it, daddy."  She sobbed into his chest.

"Shh, we'll work it out, 'Lis.  Jigen can work with Arsene tonight and I'll help you," Lupin promised, coming up to hug her from the other side.  "C'mon.  Maybe we can get your mom to help us."

"She suggested I carry around some paper and a pen all the time, or a tape recorder or something."  She wiped her eyes off then weakly swiped at her father's chest.  "Sorry, dad."

"It's not a problem, 'Lis," he promised, tipping her chin up.  "Don't force it.  Let it come.  If it won't come, then work on something else.  They were probably bad ideas and your mind's trying to filter out the unrealistic things."  She nodded, giving him another hug.  "But your mom was probably right, bring a little diary or something with you.  Write it down, write down the dreams you have in frustration too," he added with a small smirk for her.  She'd had those for years now.  She nodded, letting her uncle walk her inside.  "Arsene," Jigen called.  She came trotting out.  "Since we're switching kids I've got you tonight.  What're you up to now?"

"Escaping chains and bags in water," she admitted, grinning at him.  "I'm a regular Houdini at times."

"I can chain you up if you want," he offered.  She grinned and pulled him back to the room she had been playing in, letting him tie her up and time her.  He checked her time.  "Not the fastest ever but decent enough.  Two minutes to get out of really tight ropes."  He showed her the stopwatch, making her beam. "How's your marksmanship?"

"Still good as ever," she admitted dryly.  "Melissa can now hit the target.  She's going to be excellent," she assured him, patting him on the arms.  "Can we go again?  I need to be faster."

"Sure, kiddo."  He tied her up again and this time suspended her from a hook in the ceiling.  She wiggled and struggled, getting free quicker this time.  "Good job, one-forty."

"Cool.  Do you think that's fast enough?"

"Probably.  Unless you're being hung."

She shuddered. "Icky thoughts, Uncle Jigen.  No more of those.  No one's capturing me for *ages*."  She dragged over some chains and presented them with a bright grin.  "I know you always wanted to chain me to something."

He choked, then shook his head with a groan.  "Only when you went into hyper and annoying mode," he promised, tying her to the hook again.

***

Lotus looked around the airport as they disembarked, trying to find one of the teachers.  No one from the school was there.  "Our ride isn't here yet," she noted as the others came off.

Ishi got away from a stewardess and put his arm around Arsene's shoulders, grinning tightly at her.  "Pretend," he hissed in German.  She grinned up at him.  "No ride back to school?"

"Not that I've seen."

Melissa pulled out her phone, sitting down on a nearby seat to call the school.  "Good afternoon, Headmistress.  We're back in Italy and there's no one here to meet us?"  She glanced around.  "No, I haven't seen him yet.  What's he look like?  Cool, thanks."  She hung up.  "The Experimental Class's teacher is coming to pick us up.  Look for a guy who's dark and has an eyepatch.  Like a darker version of dad."   They all sat down, watching for their ride.  Finally, Melissa stood up.  "Let's get our bags and get lunch.  I'm hungry."  They nodded and followed her down to the baggage claim area.  She kept glancing behind them.  "Yo, Lupe."  Arsene looked over at her so she gave a subtle look backwards.  "What's your bag look like again?  Pink?"  Pink was code for 'we're being followed'.

"Blue."  She stopped to tie her shoe, letting the others go on without her.  She saw the person following them and growled, getting up in his face.  "And you are?" she demanded in a deathly cold voice.  He backed away.  "Stay away from my sisters, bub, or die."  She jogged to catch up to the others, finding them staring at their ride.  He was six-foot-five, had an eye patch, black hair, black clothes, and looked like the poster child for 'bad boy's anonymous'.  "Oooh, a new person to fawn over," she said with a smirk.  "Here for us?"

"Grab your gear, and let's go."

"Sure, just keep the asshole checking out our asses out of my way," she quipped.  She grabbed her two bags, handing Lotus hers and Melissa's went by her feet.  Ishi grabbed his and his sword was already on his back so they were set.  "Okay, we can go."

"Before we do," Melissa said, pulling a letter out.  "My mom said I was to find whoever did the electronic's class and hand this to them.  Is that you?"  He nodded, taking it to put inside his jacket.  "I've had ideas and they're getting stuck."

"Can you solder a circuit board?"

"Definitely.  Oh, Mom's new Fiat is coming up since we've got it fixed so you can help me with one part.  The taser setting is too high."  He blinked a few times, then frowned at her so she shrugged and grinned in a 'who me' look.  "I'm okay and I've been helping mom.  Remember, we use some little robotics."

"Yeah, especially in the mouse tails," Lotus joked.  "Let's go already.  Before the creepy guy tries to get closer."  She felt a hand brush her ass and turned, grabbing the person and flipping him onto his back.  "My ass is private property.  Do not touch it again," she growled.  "I do not care if it's cute, hot, or otherwise attracting, it's not *yours* to touch."

"I think it might be a good idea to get her some chocolate on the way back to school," Ishi offered quietly.  "C'mon, Lotus."

"Fine," she growled, taking her bags and stomping off toward the exit.

Ishi looked at their future teacher.  "Yes, she's having one of those *girl* moments."  He grabbed his things and one of Melissa's, her laptop, taking off after his sister.  "Lotus, slow down," he complained.

The teacher looked at Arsene and Melissa.  "Not following?"

"Oh, we are, we're just being more cautious," Arsene assured him, walking out beside him.  "Lotus doesn't like being thought of as a sex object.  It upsets her."

"Her mother depended on it and she's nothing like her mother so she abhors being thought of being anything like the bitch," Melissa agreed.

"You shouldn't use those words," he chastised.

"Ever met Fujiko?" Melissa asked.  He nodded. "Then you know why we use it about her."  She smirked and hurried ahead to save her laptop from the overzealous airport cop trying to get him to log onto it.  "Is there a problem with my cousin taking my laptop for me while I talked to our teacher?" she demanded.  He backed off, babbling at her.  "I don't care if he does look like a legendary thief."

"Fucking yay," Arsene agreed as she joined them.  "We're leaving, going back to school.  Touch us inappropriately again and I'm *sure* we can find your superior."  The guard let them go, not wanting to be accused of doing improper things.  "'Lis, what's on your computer this time?"

"Plans for the car. Other ideas I've had."

"I shall look at those with you," the teacher offered.  He got them out to the car, stopping a moment to read the letter.  It made mention of her skills and it was his area to test those things.  He climbed in, noticing one of the children had taken the wheel.  "You know how to drive?"

"Everyone but me and Lotus," Melissa offered.  "And while I do, I've never had the formal lessons so Dad and Uncle Lupin won't let me drive the getaway car.  I'm hoping to take my formal lessons at the school."

"Her dad gave Arsene and I lessons in Roman traffic, Parisian traffic, and then on country roads around the main hideout," Ishi offered.  "He's certified us."

"He drives like a Roman in Roman traffic too," Arsene agreed dryly as she checked behind them, then pulled out of the parking space and out of the garage, paying at the gate.   She looked at the traffic, then headed out into it, acting just like every other driver around them.

"You're going too fast," the teacher noted.

"I'm going the same speed as everyone else," she retorted, but she did slow down a bit.   "Which exit?"

"The next one."  She nodded, signaling and getting into the right lane, taking the exit at the right time.  She slowed down to merge with the other traffic, seamlessly acting like the cars around her.  At least until the lights come on.  "Huh.  Ishi, did you pack our licenses?"

"You've got a training one," the teacher assured her.  "Pull over."

She pulled over and turned off the engine, giving the cop that came up to her an interested look.  "Yes?  Was I going too fast?  I thought I was at the right speed limit."

"No, you're too young to be driving."

The teacher pulled out the training license and his license.  "They're taking lessons from me on the way back to school," he said calmly.  "Was she breaking laws?"

"No, she didn't look right to be driving."  He checked the licenses, then handed them back.  "Very well, since you're in the car.  We've had some problems with young drivers recently."

Ishi leaned forward.  "Some of us *do* have our licenses."

"Yes, but she's still not old enough."

"I'm nearly there," she protested.  "It's not *my* fault my mother looked like she was twelve until she was nineteen!"  She started the car.  "Anything else?" she asked in her best 'insulted' voice.

"No, go."  He watched as she pulled back into traffic, even using her signals.  "Kids," he complained as he got back into his car.  He called his dispatch to report the contact but nothing was made of it.

Arsene snorted.  "Idiot," she said as she put back up the windows.  "I hate stupid cops.  Why can't they all be good cops?"

"Because that would make our job tons harder," Melissa reminded her patiently. "The fact that only ten percent of cops match up to our brilliance is something that makes it easier on us and keeps the lesser idiots out of the field."

"You're that good?" the teacher asked dryly.

"Yeah," Arsene said patiently.  "Or haven't you seen our resume?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "How extensive was it?"

"We pulled our first job at eight," Melissa told him.  "Our dads were at a convention and we locked up the other ones to hit a jewelry show."  He turned to look at her so she smirked.  "Driving is Lupin the Fourth.  I'm Melissa Jigen, this is Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth, and our wonderful backup Lotus Goemon.  We're already fairly well experienced."

"Uh-huh."  He called someone.  "I've got the students.  Yes, all four of them.  Why?"  He listened, then looked back at Ishi.  "No, he's fine.  That was his sister."  He nodded and hung up.  "They've heard about one of you putting that visiting cop on his back.  She sends her congratulations."  He put the phone back in his pocket.  "The next left is the one we need."  Arsene grunted and checked the surrounding lanes, then sighed and cut someone off to make it.  "Good job."

"Thanks.  I like driving the getaway car.  Just like my dad."

He snorted.  "Yes, you do drive just like your father."  He settled himself down.  "Melissa, should I look at your ideas?"

"Sure, why not," she suggested, handing over her laptop.  He logged in and she found the projects file for him, logging him into it.  He flipped through them, nodding.

"Adventurous.  Daring.  Creative."  He came to the car's modifications.  "Bondish."  He gave her a long look.  "Your idea?"

"The second dad's," she admitted with a grin.  "Daddy Lavelle is a big geek and I'm a lot like him."

"You have two fathers?" he asked.  "Since when was Jigen gay?"

"Since mom and Sylvia are kinda the same person," Ishi noted.  "Not that it's a secret or something, but yeah."

"And she had you while she was a her?" the teacher asked.   Melissa nodded.  "When?"

"That's a long and classified story," Arsene said firmly.

"Fine," he agreed.  "Some mystery about your pasts usually works in your favor in the field."

Ishi snorted. "Most people in the field already know about us," Lotus offered to stop her brother's temper.

"We've acted against those who didn't believe we were worthy," Melissa agreed calmly.  He turned to look at her.  "Someone called us talentless whores who were aping our fathers."

"Which is *so* not true," Arsene agreed.  "I'm not the drama queen my father is, nor do I need to brag the way he does."

"Rrrrriiiiiiiggggggggghhhhhhhhhttttttt," the teacher drawled, giving her a long look.  "Are you *sure* about that?"

"Yeah," she agreed.  "Mom's a much more flamboyant than dad.  I'm somewhere just below him with a definite flair for the dramatic and obtuse but not quite his grade and definitely not mom's."

"Nor do you like to dress up as anime characters," Lotus said dryly.

"No, that's my job in the group," Ishi said with a smirk for his sister.

"You go to those conventions?" the teacher asked in a dead voice.  Ishi nodded.  "Okay then.  Arsene, when you come to the next rest area, pull over so we can stretch. It's a long trip to the school."

"Sure, boss."  She glanced back at Melissa, who had her laptop back now and was supposedly checking her email.  "Anything from dad?"  Usual code for 'got any ideas'.

"Yeah.  A 'do good this year' from him and mom."  She typed something else in, sending the email to their Headmistress.  She got back an answer just after they had stopped and looked at it, then at Lupin.  "Yours," she noted calmly.

She smiled and then grinned at the teacher before knocking him out and putting him into the trunk.  "Who is he?"

"Not quite the teacher.  Ours is dark but not quite *that* dark.  We're to bring him back for verification."

"Deal," Ishi agreed.  "My turn?"  Arsene nodded.  "Got directions?"

"Yeah, she sent them," Melissa offered, handing him the laptop.  He nodded, handing it back.  "In," she called, bringing Lotus from the soda machines.  "Thanks, love."  She got into the back seat with Lotus, letting the others get the front since they drove.  "When do we get driver's ed?"

"Probably as soon as we get back," Arsene said, pulling out of the parking lot.  She saw the cop and groaned, slinking down some.  She heard Lotus chanting something quietly and grinned.  "Good job, Lotus."

"Thanks.  Have a headache now.  Sleeping."  She capped her soda and laid against Melissa's arm.  "Slap me if I drool."

"Sure, Lotus."  She stroked her friend's hair, letting her nap on her.  "Lupin, the last exit was ours."

"Why tell me, I'm not driving," she snorted.  "Ishi?"

"Huh?  Sorry.  Pretty girl in a bikini top in front of us."  He pulled off the next exit and got them going back in the opposite direction, taking the proper exit.  "Next turn is when?"

"About sixty miles up the mountain," Melissa noted, glancing at her laptop.  "Do you think I'll do okay with this too?"

"Sure, 'Lis.  You've got the most patience of any of us," Arsene noted.

"And if you do it at the school, your dad won't have to freak while teaching you how to drive," Ishi agreed.  "I didn't think he was going to unclench the doorhandle while he was teaching me."

"With me he took me out in the roadster since he said it'd be mine some day," Arsene said proudly.  "I could tell he wanted a brake pedal on his side a few times on those back roads."

Melissa smiled and wrote her father an email at her uncle's address, asking if he wanted her to learn at school or to wait for him to teach her.  She got back an instant answer of 'spare his nerves, let him teach you high-speed driving instead of the basics'.  She laughed and showed Lupin.  "Your dad's drunk on the flight again."

"Makes sense to me.  Mom's fine, dad's just had a great shock about mom, again, and your dad's probably napping.  I'd be drunk too if I were heading back to start on Fred's training."

"We are teaching Alex, right?" Ishi asked.  Everyone nodded.  "Good.  What's the turn look like?"

"A restaurant on the driver's side of the road and we turn on the right."

"Sure," Ishi agreed.  He sped up a bit since they were starting to go up the hill.  He watched the cop passing them slow down and snorted.  "Try it," he hissed.  "I've got a license."  The cop decided not to stop them and continued on.  Ishi continued on his way, enjoying this pleasurable drive.

"I've got a question," Arsene said since they were alone.  "Do we petition to stay for an extra year next year?  The 'rents need the time alone and we are having fun at the school."

"It could be helpful," Melissa agreed.  "There's got to be stuff we can learn and we're the queens of the school right now."

"Then seniors on the boys side think that they're watching us to see if we're going to be a challenge to them," Ishi offered.  "They think that we're rich kids playing around so far."

"Huh, they're going to get a shock when we're running their field tests, huh?" Arsene said dryly.

"Half of them will be on ours probably," Ishi agreed. "That restaurant?"

"Um, no.  This one's described as a diner."

"Okay."  He spotted it ahead and sped up a bit more, taking the turn onto the even more rural road.

***

Arsene got out from behind the wheel as they pulled into the school, smirking at the Headmistress and her guards.  "We're back!"

"So I can see," she said with a smirk.  "Let's see this person who claimed to be one of ours."  She smiled at the others as they got out.  "Have a good rescue?"

"Yes, and we brought you something," Lotus offered, handing the vial to her herbology and poisons teacher.  "Mom described it as a combination of peyote and sherry enema when they gave it to her.  It made her higher than hell but left her with her memories intact this time.  She was also really cranky when she came back down."

"Fujiko?" the Headmistress asked, looking stunned.  They hated their mother.

"We call Sylvia the mother," Ishi told her.  "All of us."  He popped open the trunk, exposing the idiot to them.  "He said he was there to pick us up.  He seemed like your description."

"He does," she agreed.  "He's Venice's top detective however."

"Hi," Lupin said, leaning on the edge of the trunk.  "I'm Lupin the Fourth.  You've met my partners, Goemon the Fourteenth, Melissa Jigen, and Lotus Goemon.  Impressed yet?"

"Very," he complained, letting the guards pull him out.  "What is this place?"

"School," Lupin snorted.  "We're too young to be in the field all the time."  She got out of the way, letting Ishi get the bags since he was stronger than her.  "Okay, let's go check back in, ladies and Ishi."

"I've got to let the electronics teacher look at my designs," Melissa told the Headmistress.  "I gave him the letter from my mother and let him see them, including the new car, that's coming our way so I can work on the taser setting."

The Headmistress nodded once.  "Letter?" she requested.  The detective was patted down and it was handed over with his badge and gun.  "Thank you."  She read it, then smiled at Melissa.  "Fine.  As long as you do not drive it."

"Can I take driver's ed this year?" Melissa asked.  "The other two can already drive.  Uncle Lupin said to let Dad teach me high-speed driving but you could do the basics."

"Yes, we can work that into your schedule, as long as your father agrees," she promised.  "Come to my office in an hour and I'll have that teacher up there."

"Is he a good cop?" Arsene asked.

The headmistress considered him then nodded.  "Very.  He's on par with Vecchio and Kowalski.  Why?"

"Our family tries to protect the best of the best because they make us better and more creative.  Wasting him would only let the lesser idiots overrun the field."

The Headmistress considered it.  "I'll take that under advisement," she offered.  They nodded, they couldn't change her mind if she was set on killing him but maybe that had been enough to open her to the possibilities.  "Go to your rooms for now.  Melissa, come to me in an hour.  Arsene, I've got a message for you as well."

"Sure.  Was it from the idiot?"

"Yes, dear," she said tolerantly as the children hiked off.  She looked at the cop, then the guards.  "He is dangerous."

"But we do have the option of simply wounding him and making sure he can't remember us," the poisons teacher offered quietly.  "They were right, their family does tend to protect the best of the best because they get more ideas from them."  He tipped the man's face up.  "He would be hard to kill but altering him would be easier."  He let him go.  "I am at your disposal if you need me."  He walked the precious new formula off, knowing that Lotus would tell him more when asked.  It was an intriguing idea.  He would have to ask Lupin for more details of the prior uses as well.

The Headmistress nodded at the guards.  "Cell him for now.  I'll decide on his fate later."

"You can't kill me."

She stepped closer to him.  "This is the Assassin's Academy.  Most of the students here can kill you," she said quietly.  "You are only a cop to us.  Lupin has always been odd in that regard."   She stepped away again.  "Take him to the cells."  The guards drug him off and she watched as one took the car to the garages.  She would have to consider this one carefully.  He would draw attention to them.  If he disappeared there would be even more attention.  It was a difficult position the detective had put her in by taking those children.  She'd have to report this to Lupin and get his input as well.

***

Marcus walked up to the nurse's station dressed in scrubs, walking three IV poles with bags.  "I was told to give them enemas before they were checked for intestinal injuries?" he asked the head nurse of the ward.  She frowned and checked the charts of her only three patients, then nodded.  "Thank you.  Which room?"

"They're all in the ward," she said, pointing at the door.  "In there."

"Thank you.  "I'll do each one in the bathroom then bring them back to the bed."  He walked the poles that way, smiling as he walked inside.  The cops were quickly quieted and the guards didn't care what they did to the cops they were guarding, it'd make them quit complaining.  He helped Vecchio out of the bed and into the bathroom.  "Now just relax, detective. This won't hurt a thing," he promised gently, whispering in his ear as he administered the first enhanced enema.  Lupin was pissed at them and he agreed.  Trying to harm children was a bad thing and Xander was technically still very young.  Fortunately his spell kept them from complaining or calling for anyone.  Once that one was done and had eliminated, he brought him back to bed and took Gramps to the bathroom to do him as well.  He saved the most fun for last.  He had always liked Ray Kowalski and now he would get to play with him.

Lupin Family Plans

Notes: Thanks to Loyde for helping me with the beer idea

Lupin looked up as Marcus strolled into the office.  "Yes?  How did it go?"  The younger man broke out in a wicked smirk.  "That good?"

"Oh, yes.  Inspector Kowalski was mot unhappy to be seeing me as haloed and angelic."  He sat down.  "Now then, what's next on the list?"

"Fred, Sarah, Alex, and Kenji.  Yu's still a bit too young for anyone but Goemon."

"Fred and Sarah are both old enough to start their self-defense work.  They're reading.  They've got the basic movements down from Bix and myself.  Fred's old enough for the weapons lectures to start as well. He's the same age you started those with the girls."

"Good point," Lupin agreed happily.  "I kinda do wish we had another baby in the house...sometimes, but I'm glad that they're getting older too."

"They always get older and you can always adopt," Marcus noted as he stood up.  "Should I get Xander up to start on the weapons lectures while I prepare to run them through their katas?"

"Please.  I'd like to watch today," Lupin agreed.  "Let's see where their skills lie."  He stood up.  "Go get the kids.  We'll let Xander sleep in.  Jigen can run the weapons safety lectures this time."

He nodded, going to get the children from Bix.  "Come, children.  Lupin wants to watch you do your katas today."  The older kids cheered and ran for their rooms to change and head down to the backyard.  Alex smiled at him.  "You as well, dear.  There's more lessons for you to learn as well."  She grinned and went to change as well.  "Bix, would you like to bring Yu outside to watch?"

"Goemon has him," she said with a smile.  "I'm going to take a long, hot bath if that's fine."

"That's fine, we should have them most of the day."  He went to gather the children, starting them off on the first moves when Lupin and Jigen came out to watch.  "No showing off," he ordered Sarah, who sweetly grinned at him and ran over to give her daddy a hug before going back to her spot in the line and joining in.

Lupin watched his son carefully.  He wasn't the most graceful.  He didn't have Xander or Goemon's grace, or even Lotus'.  He nudged Jigen.  "You're doing the weapons lectures today.  Let's see how they start off," he said quietly.

"Sure," he agreed, watching his sick little baby girl.  Sarah had a small heart and it showed in how weak she could get.  "We've confirmed her next appointment?"

"Yeah, did that on the way back.  Oh, I told Melissa that the school could teach her the basics and you'd teach her the more advanced high-speed stuff."

Jigen nodded.  "Reasonable.  Saves my nerves."  He shifted and pulled out a cigarette to smoke while watching the kids.  "Damn, Kenji's good.  He's nearly as good as Ishi was at that age."

"He is," Lupin agreed.  "He'll probably have a different style.  I doubt he's going to be the water style that Ishi and Xander are.  More like his dad's more stiff version."

"Are we worried about him turning sides?"

"No," Lupin snorted.  "It can happen but I'm not worried.  That's for the kids to worry about."  He crossed his feet, clapping when they got done with the first one and Marcus started them on the next one.  "Hey, Marcus. Shouldn't Kenji be learning the more solid style that Goemon uses instead of the fluid one Xander does?"

"At this point it's much the same," he offered.  "I've had that thought as well.  I was going to get Goemon to watch him later today since he's off in the woods practicing by himself with Yu apparently."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed with a smirk.  He watched as Sarah stumbled.  "You okay, princess?"

"Just fine, Unclie," she said happily, pushing her hair back off her forehead.  "I need a haircut."

"You need to pull that mop back," Jigen corrected with a grin.  "C'mere."  She trotted over, letting him tie back her hair for her.  Then she went back after taking a short rest.  "Sarah, sit out."  She frowned at him.  "For now."  She sighed but sat down where she was standing, watching the other kids.  "You're going in for another checkup soon, we'll ask then."

"Yes, daddy," she sighed, sounding disappointed.

"You'll be fine but we don't want you to be hurt," Lupin reminded her.  "We'll let the doctor tell us what you can and can't do."  She nodded, still looking disappointed.  "You'll be fine," he repeated firmly.  "Some day you'll be able to play like the others."

Fred broke ranks and ran over to hug him.  "She's fine," he insisted.  "She plays all the time."

"I'm sure she does, but we don't want her to get hurt," Lupin explained.  "Remember, she's got a heart problem."

Fred nodded.  "Yup, but she still plays."  He jogged back to his sister, pulling her up.  "C'mon, you're fine."  She grinned and did it with him.

"Rest when you get tired," Jigen ordered quietly.  She looked at him and nodded, continuing on.

Lupin looked at Jigen. "Are we overprotective?"

"Yup," Jigen agreed with a grin for him.  "But I think it's good sometimes."  He went back to watching the kids.  Kenji was lost in his movements and it showed.  He nudged Lupin and pointed.  "Look at Goemon Jr."

"Very promising," Lupin agreed with a grin for the kid.  "He'll be great when he's trained."

"True.  I'm not going to start comparing him and his big brother though, that'll drive him nuts," Jigen reminded him.

"I agree.  We'll stop doing that."  He grinned at Fred as he jumped up and down because he got something wrong.  "Quit that.  It's fine. You're still learning."

"But I suck at this!" he whined.

"And later on, we'll be learning weapons," Jigen noted.  "You've still got to learn this though."

"Fine."  He calmed himself and started again, sighing in defeat.  He would never get this stuff.  Kenji was way too good at it for him to ever get the attention for that.  He looked up as his father squatted down in front of him.  "I suck."

"You don't suck," Lupin said gently.  "You can't be good at everything.  I'm not great at this but I want you to learn because it'll help things when you're following in my footsteps.  You've got to know some to help your balance and stuff."  Fred nodded, pouting at him.  "It doesn't matter how bad your big sister is at it, or how good your twin is at it, or even how good Ishi and Kenji are at it.  I want you to learn this because it'll help you when you're a great thief."   He tapped him on the nose, giving him a smile.  "Okay?"

Fred nodded.  "Yes, daddy.  I'll try but I still suck at it."

"Then maybe you'll be a wonderful lockpick like I am and a great shot too.  We'll be looking at that stuff soon."

"Okay."  He grinned and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek.   He watched where the others were and started off, following his sister and Kenji.

Lupin went back to his seat, looking at Jigen with a grin.   "He thought he sucked."

"He's not Ishi, but then again neither are any of them.  None of them are Goemon Sr. either.  Kenji's great in his own ways."  He shrugged.  "We'll move onto weapons next."  They both looked over as Goemon walked out of the garden.  "Come watch."

"I have been.  Kenji."  His son looked at him.  "You will be working with me from now on, son. It is time you learned more."   His son grinned at him.  "You will be learning the traditional family styles, unlike your brother, who learned a different one."  His son bounced over to hug him, bouncing around until he was picked up.  "Thank you, son."  He gave him a hug and put him back down.  "Go help Uncle Marcus."  He bounded back to his spot and got back into it with a more determined look.  He sat on Lupin's other side.  "Sarah is learning?"

"She is until we hear otherwise," Jigen agreed.  "Fred thinks he sucks."

"The path of the sword is not his way," Goemon agreed.  "The path of the gun probably is."

"I'm thinking so too.  He's got perfect fingers for doing lockpicking," Lupin said proudly.  "We're doing the weapon safety lectures after this."

"That's fine.  I would prefer this son not have his focus split yet, Jigen."

"Not an issue, Goemon.  He still flinches or sneers whenever he sees a gun but he drools whenever he sees your sword."  He looked around Lupin at his friend.  "Kenji looks like a mini you.  We'll try to keep Yu on the straight path too."

"That would be nice, but I can't be sure he'll not turn out like Ishi."

"Ishi turned out that way because of the kidnaping," Lupin said quietly.  "These kids won't have that stimulus.  Therefore Yu isn't Ishi, no matter how time turned back on itself."  Goemon nodded at that wisdom.  "If he shows any talent, then we'll train it until he's the best he can be, then hand him back to you to finish off your way, Goemon."

"Thank you.  I would appreciate one of my sons following only in my footsteps instead of Xander's."

"Eh, Ishi's got your quiet nature and Xander's flair.  No one really minds," Lupin teased.

"No, I do not mind, but I do wish my son were only my son sometimes.  He is the namesake of the family and we are not known as shooters."

"No, and he's not either.  He'll shoot if something's unworthy of his blade or if there's no space or time to pull a sword.  If it's easier.  Not because that's all he knows.  I've heard about him going after a few people with his sword and he does prefer it most of the time.  Unless it's Pops apparently."

Marcus smirked at them.  "They were quite happy with their enemas this morning," he promised.  "Quite happy afterwards."  He turned back to the children.  "Fred, move your front foot a bit more forward and straighten it out please."  The child did as ordered.

"Put it back in its original position but straighten it out, that throws his hips out of alignment," Goemon ordered.  Kenji did as he said and grinned at him.  "Very good, son."  He gave Marcus a half-shrug.  "Mostly correct," he offered tolerantly.  "We will work on the forms for those who are most serious."

"Have you started Yu on the beginning stuff?" Jigen asked.

"Some.  He is going well now.  Much as his brother was."  He sighed.  "I do not want to make the comparisons."

"Neither do we," Jigen agreed.

"It may be inevitable but I'm sure he won't grow up exactly the same way."

"Yeah, no Fujiko influence," Jigen said dryly.

Xander padded out and sat on the end of Jigen's seat, then cooed at Kenji, getting up to hug him. "Ohh, you're gonna be such a samurai!" he said happily.  He let him go and sat down in front of Fred and Sarah.  "Guys, let's try something a bit different."  He pulled Fred closer, showing him a new way of moving.  Fred grinned and tried it, letting Sarah mimic him.  "Very good."  He grinned at Marcus.  "My turn?"

"Sure, why not," he agreed, sitting down to let Xander run the next lesson.

"Okay, guys, let's learn how to duck and block!" he said excitedly, bouncing a bit.  "This is *really* important because it'll keep the other kids from picking on you and allow you to duck Arsene when she comes back."  They cheered at that, Arsene loved to prank them.  "Okay, let's work on blocking!"  He pulled Kenji over to kneel in front of him. "Okay, when I do this," he said, slowly moving his fist toward him, "you do this," he said, moving the boy's hand to block him.  "Got it?"  Kenji nodded.  "Okay, now do it on your own."  Kenji did it when Xander did it again.  "Good boy!"  He hugged him.  "Now, let's go *faster*," he said with a demonic look in his eyes.  He tried again, going faster and faster until the boy finally had to duck.  "And that's a duck!  Excellent, Kenji!  Just perfect!"

Lupin leaned closer to Jigen.  "Go make some coffee, quick.  Before he drives us insane."

Jigen nodded, getting up to do that.  Xander without caffeine was a horrible thing on normal people.  He got it brewed and carried out a cup, nudging Xander to take his.  "Here, you need it."

"I do not!"

"You do, you're scary," Goemon assured him. "Drink two, before you scare me too."

"No, if he drinks too much, he'll get scary in a whole new direction," Lupin said softly.  "Xan, drink the coffee and then play with the kids."

"Fine."  He drank the coffee, then went back to bouncing about with the kids.

"How many have you had?" Jigen asked.

"Six now," he said proudly.  "Nearly a *whole* pot!"  He grinned at the kids.  "Let's blow this, guys, and play *tag*!"  They screamed and chased after him around the garden.   He picked up Sarah and ran with her since she couldn't chase with the others.  "Get me!  Get me!"

"Shit," Jigen sighed, flopping down again.  "I guess we'll get the kids back later."  He looked at Lupin.  "So, which weapon first?"

"The standard gun.  Crossbows are a later lesson," Lupin said firmly.  "Crossbows are only effective in Xander's life.  Not in ours."

"True, we don't often run into demons," Goemon agreed.  He winced as the kids screamed and Xander ran past them through the house, making something crash within minutes.  "That sounded expensive."

"If that was Grandfather's vase, you're going to fix that," Lupin yelled, getting up to chase after the horde.  He found them on the front lawn tormenting a gardener.  "Xander, heel!" he ordered, pointing at the ground.  "Don't mess with him, he'll cut the bushes funny!"

He cackled and took off with Sarah again, putting her on the stairs as she ran out the back door.  "Can't get me!  I'm the best and you can't get me!"

"Damn it," Jigen sighed, standing up.

Goemon stood up and put a hand on his arm, then pulled something out of his robe, swinging it around a few times before throwing it at where Xander was running.  The bolo knocked him to the ground.  He sat down again.  "There, I feel much better now."

Jigen snickered as he walked off to help Xander, shaking his head.  "Xander, you're being naughty," Jigen warned.  He took the bolo once it was free.  "Calm down before we're forced to tie you to the bed."

"No!  I don't get to play all that often.  Meany."  He raced off, heading deeper into the woods.

"We're not chasing you!" Jigen called after him.  "Come back when you're sane and normal!"  He went back to his seat, handing the bolo over.  "He went to play in the woods."

A few minutes later the Kitsune lord brought Xander back, tied up in ropes from his armpits to his ankles.  "Who fed him too much caffeine?"

"It's not our fault," Lupin said as he came back.  "We gave her one cup thinking it was the normal morning bounciness."  He sat down and pulled Xander into his lap, swatting him for wiggling.  "Stop that."

"Keep him like that until he's calm, then release him."  The Kitsune lord disappeared shaking his head.

"Can I please go free now?" Xander asked pitifully.

"Hell no," Lupin snorted.  "If you're that jumpy you're dangerous."

"I am not!"

"You are," Jigen agreed.

"I'm not," he protested, starting to pout.  "Yu will play with me."

"Bix said Goemon had him," Marcus interrupted.

Goemon looked at him.  "I did?"  He got up with a sigh and went looking for his son, who liked to hide.  "Son?"  Kenji came running.  "Yu is hiding."

"Okay."  He raced up the stairs, taking his father to where his brother was hiding.  "Here he is!"  He bounced a bit until his father patted him on the head.  "I did good?  I get reward?"

"Yes, what would you like?" he asked as he extracted his son from the pile of dirty laundry he was sleeping in.

"Teach me more?"

Goemon hugged his son.  "Of course, all you have to do is ask, son.  I love to teach you," he said quietly.

"Can I have chocolate as well?" he asked with an impish grin.

"We'll see. There may not be any in the house."  He walked his sons down the stairs, taking them to the backyard.  Yu was put into the grass since he was waking up and he worked with Kenji, teaching him more of the blocking and ducking techniques.   His son was still bouncy but it wasn't keeping him from doing things properly so he couldn't reprimand him for it.

Lupin scooped up Yu when he toddled over to where he and Jigen were sitting, putting him in his lap.  He sniffed the baby, then snickered.  "Were you hiding in Xander's dirty laundry?"

"Yes.  He was sleeping on top of her underwear," Goemon said with a blush.  "I do not need my son to pick up that habit either, Lupin."

"It was Ishi who used to help his mother fold the laundry so he could snuggle up to her bras," Jigen reminded him with a smirk.  Goemon grunted in annoyance and went back to helping his middle son.

"It's okay.  Your big brother is a big hit with the ladies and you'll be a sweet little guy too," Lupin promised, kissing him on the head.  "We should go steal some of the laundry for keepsakes."  He and Jigen looked at each other, then hurried back up the stairs, letting Yu wander around again as they went to save some of the dirty laundry to keep Xander's female scent for their memories.  They came back down after hiding their treasures, finding Goemon being pounced by his giggling youngest son.  Lupin took a few pictures and smirked at Jigen.  "We need a new job."

"You leave us again?" Kenji asked, starting to pout and tear up.  "We just got you back!"  He started to wail, batting at his father when he tried to comfort him.  "No!  You no leave!"  He ran for the pond still crying.

Goemon got up and handed off his youngest son to run after him before he got hurt or fell into the pond.  He finally caught up to him and grabbed him, holding him tightly.  "Son, I'm not leaving yet," he soothed, patting him on the back while holding him.  "There is no reason for such fussing."  He walked him back to the others, soothing him on the way.  "We're not leaving yet?"

"Not yet," Lupin agreed, looking at the sobbing boy.  "He okay?"

"He'll be fine," Goemon assured him.  He walked his sons inside, taking them to sit with them.  He found a good spot in the television room and flopped down on the couch, letting Yu crawl up beside him and his other son sit in his lap. "I am not leaving for a while and soon you will be old enough to come with us," he promised, stroking his son's backs.  "Then we will not have to be apart but right now you are too young to come with us all the time."

"No!" Yu said, scowling at him.

Goemon gave him a long look and his son grinned.  "Thank you, son.  Someday we will have to have this talk too."  He looked at his middle son.  "Kenji, you know that your brother did not travel with us all the time until he was nearly ten."

"You're never home," he complained weakly.  "I never see you."

"He sounds like some of my exes," Lupin said as he walked in with a tray of glasses of milk.  "Here, have some, it's good for them."  He grinned at Kenji.  "I tell you what.  If we can, we'll take you on our next job."

"Not the next one.  Not until after we've dealt with those cops again," Goemon ordered calmly.

"I was planning on that at a convention," Lupin said with a wink.  "Either that or letting the bouncing Xander go play with them."

"Not a bad idea," Goemon offered.  "It would give her...him something to do."

"Not a bad idea but he's gotten free and ran off," Lupin admitted with a smirk.  "Maybe he went to play with the Rays.  One never knows about Xander."  He tweaked Yu's ear.  "Are you a good boy?"

"No," he said, smirking at him.

"That's my godson," Lupin said proudly, patting him on the head.  "Have fun with the milk.  Need a video?"

"No, we're fine," Goemon assured him.  He waited until the door had closed, then shuddered.  Those poor cops.  Not even they deserved that.

***

Xander walked up to the nurse's station at the hospital, smiling brightly at the older woman.  "Bonjour!" he said happily, nearly singing.  "I'm here to therapize those poor men who're in protective custody."

"I didn't know they were up for therapy," she said, looking him over.  He was nearly vibrating with happiness.  "Why do they need therapy?"

"Because they did get shot by someone very famous and very mean," he said, grinning at her.  "You know how odd people can get after severe traumas.  They might have total personality changes!"

"Well, they have been singing and happy today," she admitted.  "Go ahead.  I guess it's fine."

Xander blew a kiss and skipped that way, making the nurse shake her head at his oddness.  He pushed through the ward's doors, grinning at the poor officers watching them. "It's time for therapy!"  They shuddered and vacated the room.  "Hi, guys," he said with a smirk.  "Lupin sent me away because he said I'm bouncy so I came to help you through the trauma of nearly getting me and Lupin the Fourth killed.  So, how are you feeling today?"

Vecchio groaned and pushed the button frantically on his bed. "That's Lavelle!" he shouted when the nurse came in.

Xander grinned. "It's the trauma," he said sweetly.  "Do I *look* like a world-renowned gunman with odd tastes and a never-ending libido?"

The nurse looked at him, then shook her head.  "Probably not."  She checked the three men then left them alone.

Xander grinned and sat on Ray Vecchio's bed.  "Nice try, gotta give you points for that one."  He blew a kiss at Zenigata.  "Hi, Gramps.  How's the new baby?"

"I haven't been home recently," he said bitterly.

"You know, if you give up for once and for all, I can make sure you get home tomorrow," Lavelle offered with a smirk.  "After all, you've got to have trauma leave.  It's very trying dealing with Lupin when he's in a snit.  Trust me," he said with a nod.

Vecchio kicked at him. "Get off my bed, thief."

Xander leaned down and kissed him deeply, making him whimper and finally pull back.  "Shut up, Ray."  He grinned at the other Ray.  "Hi.  Are you coming to the next con?  Ishi wanted to know if you'd be there.  He wanted to trade cards with you."

"Can't you torture someone else?" Zenigata complained, fluffing his blanket.  "We're in pain and still feeling odd from Marcus."

"But I'm sure he had fun.  Did you like what they gave me when the cult took me so they could ascend?"  Everyone stared at him and Kowalski whimpered.  "Really."

"No wonder.  Are you still high?" Kowalski demanded.

"No, I've come down.  I've just had six cups of espresso and one of real, Jigen-made coffee."  He smirked. "Goemon's got the kids.  Lupin's being a daddy and Jigen's playing with his princess and doing the weapons lectures.  So I'm free!"  He threw out his arms and cackled.

"Hey, Xan, why don't you go bother the Commissioner," Kowalski suggested.  The other cops glared at him.  "He can't do anything to us."

"I came to cheer you up."  He pulled his shirt up and tossed something to him.  "From my stash.  I'm sure they'll love it too.  Oooh, someone had porn from the other time and sent it to me. It was from about a year before the switch.  New Orleans."  Kowalski groaned. "Yeah, I don't know who did that yet.  I'm still looking.  Do you think the Commissioner would like me?"

"No," Zenigata said bitterly.  "He'd try to shoot you."

Xander leaned closer and hissed something close to his ear, making him shudder.  "Got the point?"

"I doubt you could.  He's straight, boy."

"You'd be surprised, he wouldn't be the first cherry I turned," Xander said proudly.  "Now, how can I make you guys feel better?  Should I call down something funny?  Should I dress you better?"   He said something under his breath and made their bedgowns turn polka dotted and pink with frills.   "There, that's better!"

"Lavelle," Vecchio growled.  "I will kill you."  Xander kissed him again, making him push him away.  "Stop that, you pervert!"

Xander cackled.  "You naughty boy.  I know what you're thinking."  He wiggled against Ray's hip, making him growl louder.  He got up and strolled over, kissing Ray K as well, softly making him moan and arch up.  Then he smirked at Gramps.  "Still think I can't?  Watch the tape, Stan.  You'll like it."  He swished out, leaving more confusion and awe behind him.  He paused to listen.

"Wipe that damn smirk off your face, Kowalski.  Vecchio, dismiss the stiffie before I take offense and have you babysit for the kids.  All of them."

Xander grinned at the nurses.  "Mission accomplished.  They're happier and more like their normal selves.  Feel free to keep the gowns for someone who needs it."  He strolled out and sent himself to Paris, strolling up to the ICPO headquarters.  He grinned at the receptionist.  "I'm here for the Commissioner.  He needs some cheering up so Zenigata sent me to him. Is he in?"

"Name please?"

He leaned down to whisper in his ear.  "The person who knows Lavelle best," he whispered with a smug smirk for her.  "He can't keep dates.  I'm pissed."

She smiled at him.  "Very good, sir.   Let me call up there to see who's dealing with it."

"Zenigata said to talk to only the Commissioner because only he would be able to handle the strangeness.  I mean, seriously, honey.  Lavelle's loved his way across six continents already and is ready to take on the seventh if he gets a chance, or in space if he can find a way onto some sort of shuttle."  She swallowed and he licked his lips.  "And he was so mean to me.  Made me want him when I used to go for nice little girls, like librarians.  He took me away from my last one and made me want him. It's like it's magic or something."

"Let me call up there," she offered, calling up to the main office.  "Commissioner, I have Lavelle's ex here.  He wants to give testimony.  Inspector Zenigata sent him to you."  She nodded.  "Thank you."  She hung up.  "His secretary is clearing a spot for you.  Go to the blue elevator and take it to the top."  He nodded, blowing a kiss before walking on, coming back to straighten out her hair for her then heading off.  She smoothed down her hair, checking it in a nearby mirrored column, then checked out his ass.  He was one fine man, too bad he was gay now.

Xander came off the elevator, smiling at the secretary.  "Is he ready for me?"

"He is," she said, looking him over.  "You were Lavelle's lover?"

"He took me away from girls and made me want him.  It was like magic, but the man can't keep a date.  He's pissed me off for the last time."

"Go ahead on in," she said with a smile.

He walked in and shut the door behind him, leaning against it.  "Hi," he said, acting nervous now.  "Zenny sent me to you.  Dawnie said that he would listen and help me but he's injured now because of that meany Lupin."  He looked in the corner of the room at the cleared throat, then smiled and froze her.  "Poor thing.  Must be tired from all that baby making."  He walked forward, smirking at the man behind the desk.  "Zenny sent me to you.  He was such a sweet guy.  He listened to me bitch about the idiot who can't keep dates."

"Do you know what he does when he's on the job?" the Commissioner asked.

Xander leaned on his desk, leaning forward.  "Very well.  I've watched him before.  He was mean to those poor women, teasing them into giving him their jewels.  He was such a naughty stripper that job."  The commissioner swallowed.  "He was being a stripper.  He was such a bad boy.  All wicked hips and nasty touches to himself."  He licked his lips, seemingly lost in the memories.  "Then he went all the way and the women gasped and it was like they'd never seen one before, but his is *so* much bigger," he moaned.  "I had no idea what men were like before him.  I was dating librarians and scientists and he came onto me, making me moan and groan in pleasure and *beg* before he'd give in," he finished with a shiver.  "He was mean and then he left me to go work with that *bastard* who keeps him from me."

"So, if you could, you'd take him back?"

Xander let out a whimpering moan.  "Yes," he admitted.  "He's just so ...so...wonderful to me.  I can't keep him from teasing all the people he does, it'd kill him, but I'd gladly keep him from killing things.  Can't you help me?  Zenny said you could."

"How did you meet Inspector Zenigata?" he asked, starting to sweat.

"Lavelle introduced us," he said with a pout.  "He was taunting him.  I thought that was mean and told him so.  So Lavelle kissed me and left them alone for a while and the Inspector *growled*.  I thought he was being very mean."  His bottom lip stuck out slightly, he knew it was. "He grilled me for *hours* about Lavelle and Lupee. Then he stomped off, leaving me with those two nice Inspectors underneath his careful, masculine control."  He gave a little shrug.  "They were fairly nice to me but they were distracted by my Lavelle snuggly."

The phone rang and the Commissioner grabbed it quickly, before he could help that pout.  "Yes?"  He grimaced, then held the phone out.  "It's for you."

Xander took it, leaning on the edge of the desk. "Yes?  And how did you get this number?"

"Stop it, Lavelle," Lupin hissed in his ear.  "I know what you're doing, stop it."

"But Zenny said I had to come talk to him."

"No!  Get your ass home now!"

"No!"  He smiled at the Commissioner.  "He's a very nice man and he's listening to me about you, Lavelle.  He's being very solicitous."  He twined the cord around his index finger.  "I'm being good."

"You're being very good," the Commissioner agreed quickly.  "Who is that?"

"Lavelle," he sighed, hanging up on Lupin's newest protest.  "Did you know he had your office bugged?"   The Commissioner looked stunned. "I'm hoping he's not being mean to you, I *like* you.  You listen and you pay attention to me.  Unlike him."  The Commissioner gave in and kissed that pout away.  "Would you let me have Lavelle?"

"The only way I could do that would be to take them off the list, and I can't really do that."  Xander's pout got worse, making him think very hard.  "I could....lessen them on the list.  Or maybe I could ban them for a year?  I've heard that they've pretty muchly retired to raise the kids."

"Lavelle left me to go be a daddy with Goemon, who likes to scowl at me."  He pouted worse.  "They're mean to me.  They think he's only playing with me.  Lupin actually laughed at me, called me a drama queen.  I'm only what Lavelle made me."

"I'm sure you're perfectly nice," he promised.  He stole another kiss and Xander released all his skills into that one contact, making him go weak kneed and moan as he pulled back.  "How about I ban them from the lists for a year?" he panted, giving him a long look.  "That way you could change him and it would give Zenigata and his team time to recover and chase some other bastards we need to be caught.  Would that help you any?"

"Oh, it would," he moaned, arching his hips up slightly.  "Thank you."  He blew a kiss, charming him before turning and walking away.   He headed back to the house, clearing his throat at the glaring men.  "We're off the lists for a year.  That means we've got to do something *spectacular* to get the attention back.  Think you can do that?" he asked with a smirk for Lupin.  "Or I could."  He strolled off, going to deal with his wardrobe issues.  "Why am I out of underwear this time?" he called.

"Ishi stole some," Jigen called up the stairs, looking at Lupin.  "Did he just challenge us?"

"Yes," he said, still scowling.  "He walked into the Commissioner's office and charmed him into removing us for a year from the Most Wanted list.  He told him I had a bug in there too.  Said Zenigata sent him there."

"He probably did," Goemon agreed.  Lupin scowled at him.  "He couldn't torture the Inspectors enough to make himself happy so therefore he took their suggestion to deal with the Commissioner, who has been vexing Zenigata again."

"He has," Jigen agreed.  "What should we do?"

"Simultaneous things," Lupin decided.  "With the kids.  Let them have a formal coming out party."  He smirked at Jigen.  "Good for you?"

"Fine with me.  Goemon?"

"They're well enough trained," he agreed.  "We'll need excellent targets."

"Oh, I'm sure we can find something," Lupin said smartly.  He glared up the stairs again.  "I should spank him for that."

"Why?  He's livening up our lives," Jigen said, shifting to get more comfortable.  "No kids?"

"They're pouncing Marcus," Goemon said with a shrug.  "Weapons?"

"After their naps."

They all shivered when they heard Xander cackle and the kids cheer.

"Shit," Lupin sighed, shaking his head.  "Do I want to know?"

"No," Goemon said, shaking his head.  "You don't."

Jigen shuddered as the kids cheered again and Marcus screamed.  "I'm not going out there, man. He's on his own."

"Definitely," Goemon agreed.

Lupin got up and went to the door but Marcus wailed again and he decided he'd need a drink before going out there.

***

Melissa came out of her math class and found the Headmistress waiting on her with an email. "Bad news?" she asked hesitantly, not touching the held-out envelope.

"No, more odd."

Melissa took it and opened it, then gasped.  "Mom did what!"  Arsene turned and backtracked, taking the letter to look at.  "Am I hallucinating?"

"No," Arsene said with a smirk.  "That's a challenge, you know that.  We'll have to do something spectacular to get our position back.  Maybe even a higher one."  She smirked at the Headmistress.  "Got any favorite targets?  We're looking for a few good targets."

"Are there any shows around that time?" Melissa asked.

"We'll have to look tonight."

"Ask the teacher who teaches planning, girls."

Arsene grinned and hugged her.  "I like you."  She trotted off.  "'Lis, PE."

"Coming."  She hugged her too.  "I like you too.  Think we could stay for an extra year maybe?"  She jogged off too.

The Headmistress shook her head, but she was smiling.  The second Lupin crew was very interesting and very fun to be around. She went back to her office, leaving it with the children.  They could handle that.

***

Melissa looked at the wall in front of her, then at the other students, then at the teacher.  "No grappling hooks?"

"What are you going to do if you forget them or run out?"

"Get Ishi up the wall first since he can rock climb, have him let down a rope and climb up that or find another way in," she said seriously.  "There's almost always another way when you're frustrated by one way."

He nodded.  "That's a good point, but you still have to do it."  He waved at the wall.  "Go up and over."

Melissa sighed and backed up, taking a running leap at it.  She got halfway up and there was a handgrip up there.  She used it to boost herself up to the top, then sat on the top, clapping her hands.  "Lupin?"  Arsene jumped up, using the same handhold then taking Melissa's hand and going up and over, letting her come off the other side.  They looked at the rest of the obstacle course.  "Weren't we excused from this too?" she complained.

"I loathe mud," Arsene sighed.  But they headed for the bars, swinging across the sweaty surface.  Arsene started to slip so pulled herself up on top of them, then helped her sister up so they could walk off them.  They grabbed the rope at the end, swinging over the next pit, landing in the trees.  "No elf jokes."

"Fuck elves.  Daddy never had to do this," Melissa complained.  She climbed up and hit the buzzer.  "We're done!"  Arsene hit it too.  They swung down and landed, headed back to the teacher.  "Can we go do more important things?"

"Like our field trial plans?" Arsene suggested.

Ishi looked at the boy's section of the wall then calmly pulled his sword and cut it open.   Then he calmly walked through the hole he had created and went around the bars and cut down the tree to hit the buzzer.  "Where are we heading on the field trials?" he asked as he strolled back.  The teacher gaped so he shrugged.  "I'm a Goemon.  I'm bored.  Walls are nasty.  They're pointless. You can always make them explode."  He walked the girls away.  "Did we get a target suggestion?  I heard about the note."

"No, Mom decided to go woo the Commissioner to get their names off the list for a year.  So now we've got to do something spectacular to come out," Arsene told him.

"Dad said that Gramps suggested he go bother the Commissioner," Melissa added.  "I called while I was in the bathroom.  He said we're going to do a simultaneous job to come out officially."

"Interesting," Ishi agreed.  "Just like Mom.  Was she bored?"

"Hyper."

"I pity the cops," Ishi said seriously.  He nodded at the range teacher as he sauntered over.  "Need Melissa?"

"If she's not got another class."

"Like I care," she snorted.  "I'd rather be on the range getting better than doing dumb exercises.  Let the little guys do those.  We do katas and run and jump and babysit."  The teacher snickered, looking at the PE teacher.  "Isn't that enough exercise?  It's not like we're getting fat or we need to learn how to do the scaling thing."

"You still must take these classes," he said firmly.  "Everyone must."

"Dude, we already break and enter into places," Arsene said dryly.  "Ishi and I got tumbling lessons.  Melissa can walk a tightrope when she's not distracted.  Ishi's a Master at his form of martial arts.  I'm damn good enough at the katas.  Melissa's better than I am and sometimes has better balance because she's quit growing for a while.  If you're going to help us, do balance stuff.  I need it."  She looked at the range teacher.  "Can I come blow holes in things to blow off steam and think?"

"As long as you keep yourself calm and the bullets on the range."  She nodded, walking Melissa that way.  "Ishi, could you help a hopeless case?"

"If I can't, Lupin can," he pointed out.

"Yes, but I want someone calm who won't provoke the kid to mass homicide."  Ishi raised an eyebrow.  "You won't.  You don't show that side of yourself often."

"Fine.  As long as Lupin can help.  I know who you're thinking of and he needs to let go."  He walked toward the range, waving his sword's scabbard.  "Later.  We'll be doing katas later.  You can come watch."

The PE teacher looked at the range teacher.  "Are they that good?"

He nodded.  "They've trained very hard since they were children."

"They're still children."

"Since they were infants.  Goemon had them doing katas as infants.  The girls joined in when they were five or six.  Lavelle had them doing balance work and a lot of odd things.  Ishi can mimic Yoda very well.  He's into anime and they both learned from it.  Ishi is a lot like Lavelle and Goemon had a kid.  Arsene is all her dad's little girl.  Melissa is Jigen's daughter fully, but she's got her mother's planning skills. Sylvia is definitely showing her influence in the girls' lives.  They're a tight team already.  Lotus could use some conditioning but I doubt you'll have much success this week."  He smirked.  "Watch them as they work.  They shouldn't be in the junior class.  They need advanced, individual instruction to correct faults.  They're teenagers going through puberty.  They need balance work and they like to sneak out to do it on their own."  He walked off, going to overlook his mentor's daughter.  She was good, when she could get past her foibles.  He owed it to Jigen to train his daughter to the best of his abilities. He walked into the range and found Arsene helping her sister and Ishi helping the young boy that was the gopher and suckass to the older boys.  "Good.  Let's work on accuracy."

"He needs aiming work," Ishi noted.  "He still flinches."

"He's sound shy.  He's not a shooter, he needs to know how, not be perfect."

"Cool," Melissa agreed.  "C'mere, kiddo.  We'll help you as a group while we help me."  He nodded, coming over to help her.  He was much younger, only twelve, and was pretty shy.  "Are you a planner or a money guy?"

"Money," he said weakly, looking at the talented group around him.  Ishi never tried to make him do anything and the girls were legendary already.  "Do I really have to?"

"Yes, because people will want to kidnap you and guards can be killed or lost," Arsene reminded him.  She put her arm around his shoulders.  "Just stick with us, kid, and it'll be fine.  We'll even keep the older boys from picking on you."

"I don't mind.  I know I'm not the thief that DeMarllion is."

"He's not the thief he thinks he is," Melissa said dryly.  "C'mere."  She pulled him closer.  "Okay, this is a revolver.  My dad swears by them.  They don't jam, they're easy enough to reload, and the drawback is that they only hold six shots.   Mom swears by auto's, but she's very careful with what she picks.  I think she's only had one jam and it wasn't at a fatal moment."  He nodded eagerly.  "Okay, let's work on loading."  She opened the revolving part, letting him see how she did it.  "Now, take out the bullets and put in new ones."  He unloaded it by tipping it back, then slowly slid in new bullets.

"They can't explode unless you're applying a lot of pressure to the explosive cap," Ishi said dryly.  "I can throw them at the wall and it'll probably not go off."  The boy nodded and went a bit faster and rougher.  "Good.  Now close that."  He did so.  "Aim it at the target."  The boy did so but his arms were shaking.  "Now, squeeze the trigger gently."

Their new student took a deep breath and fired, hitting the target.

"Good," Arsene agreed.  She took the gun and used the rest of the rounds.  "Now, you need to be able to do at least that good," she ordered.

He looked at her target, which now had no face.  He had only clipped the corner.  "All that?"

"Yup," Melissa agreed.  "You and me both."

He nodded and took back the revolver, reloading it and trying again.  It was a bit better so everyone smiled and clapped him on the back.  He tried a third round and it was much better.  He was doing good with the positive reinforcement.

The teacher nodded at Melissa and smirked. "You're next.  No slouching."

"Yes, sir."  After the next grouping by their new student, she took the gun and reloaded it.  She aimed and shot the first few rounds.  She was doing better.

"Stop!" Ishi yelled, stopping her.  He stepped up behind her and put his arms around hers, helping her aim.  "Your glasses may be needed," he said quietly.  "Now, aim down the spike.  There's no breeze so it should be fine."  She nodded, trying it again.  This time she got it better but she still wasn't hitting it perfectly.  "Put on your glasses.  Let's try it again."  She pulled out her glasses and put them on, trying it again for him, but sighing in defeat.  She sucked at this.

"Better," Arsene noted.  "Not good enough but better than you used to do."

"I hate guns."

"'Lis, you don't suck at this. You used to be perfect. It was the stupid humans who tried to snatch us way back when and the fact that you saw me kill one of them.  Now, you're going to be in the field and you may have to kill someone.  It'll be messy and bloody but it may have to happen."

"I know that," she said angrily, pushing him away.  "I've seen you do it more than once!  I know what a dead person looks like!  I'm not scared of that!"

"Bull," Arsene said dryly.  "I need you to be the best you can be in the field, Melissa.  That means you're going to have to get over it.  There's no whining in crime, unless it helps on a job."

"We'll work on it," Ishi reminded her.  "She'll be fine by the next time we're in the field."

"I'm fine now," she said coldly.

"Melissa, if this were in the field, you'd probably have to shoot someone.  Can you do that?" the teacher asked.

She glared at him.  "What makes you think I haven't?"  She stomped off, only coming back to throw the gun and stomp off again.

"When?" Arsene called after her second retreat.

"Go find her," Ishi said quietly.

Arsene gave him a look like he was insane.  "Do I look suicidal?"

"Fine, I'll go.  You work with the student."  He jogged out, catching up to her and following her subtly.

"Go the hell away, Ishi, before I hurt you."

He caught up to her, turning her around and giving her a hug.  "Those people who were hurt that I didn't?" he asked.  She shrugged out of his arms and kicked him in the shin, stomping off again. "You can't run, Melissa.  I know where you sleep.  We'll have to talk about this."   She flipped him off so he jogged to catch up and drug her into the woods, leaning her against a tree.  "Melissa.  Tell me what happened," he ordered quietly. "It's obviously affecting you and I don't want you to freak out.  It hurts when you're hurting."

"You sound like my mother."

"Well, she did have the most hand in raising us," he said dryly, frowning at her.  "Not the point, but good try in redirection."  He pushed her tighter against the tree.  "What did you kill?"

"I hate blood, all right?  I hate the sight of blood spurting out and staining things and making them dirty!"

"What was it, Melissa?" he asked, relentless.

"It was an animal."

"Which is fine.  Was it threatening us?"  She shook her head.  "No?"

"No.  I went hunting," she complained, trying to get away from him.  "Get off."

"No."  He moved a bit closer, hugging her again.  "Having to shoot to save yourself isn't hunting.  Hunting unless you're feeding people is a waste.  It's wrong from what we've been taught.  Of course it disgusts you."

"No, it's the blood!" she said, shuddering.

He pulled her closer, cuddling her.  "Okay.  Blood is nasty.  I agree.  I hate blood.  That's one of the reasons I can wound and usually do it in a spot that won't spray it everywhere.  Look at the last few ones I did.  They dripped, they didn't spew."  She gagged.  "Sorry."  He gave her a squeeze.  "We love you, even if you can't get past the blood nastiness.  How do you stand being a girl and having girl problems?"

"I don't like it," she reminded him.  "I hate it.  I want it to stop."

He shrugged.  "Not until you're around fifty or so.  Unless you wanna become a guy?"

"Eww.  Why would I want a penis?  They're nasty.  They spew worse."

He smirked.  "But they're kinda fun to have."

"And probably easier, but they're still nasty and you guys don't clean those things when you're in the bathroom."  She shuddered again.  "Nasty crap."  He chuckled in her ear so she pinched him.  "Let me go."

"Hell no.  You're never escaping us, 'Lis.  We'd be miserable and lonely without you.  Or insane from Arsene's pranks."  She chuckled and swatted him.  "I found a piece of fudge on top of my sword this morning."

"Wasn't me," Arsene said sweetly from behind him.

"It wasn't?"

"Nope.  Wasn't."

"Then who snuck into my room without waking me?"

"DeMarllion was claiming he did but he had a flunky do it," Arsene said.  She looked at Melissa.  "It's the blood?"  She nodded.  "Can we maybe hypnotize you against that stuff?"  Melissa shook her head.  "Take you on a tour of a butchering plant?"

"I'd get sick and taint the meat."

"Fine.  How about this?  I ask your dad?  He doesn't like blood," Ishi offered.  "My dad grew up with regular harvesting of the farm animals for food.  Arsene's dad grew up fairly wealthy but surrounded by crooks and thieves. Maybe your dad has an idea."

"My dad probably didn't see blood until he was older," Melissa agreed.  "My grandfather was a money guy apparently."

Ishi nudged her. "So we'll call."

"Yeah, maybe, but it makes me feel like a baby to have to call Dad for advice."

"That's why he's a parent.  To give allowances and to give advice," Arsene reminded her.  "It's not like he changed diapers or breastfed you."

Melissa nodded.  "Fine."  She handed over her cell.  "Here you can call him.  I don't want to embarrass myself horribly."  She looked around.  "Who else is out here?"

"Someone who's going to be dead," Arsene said simply, meaning it probably.  She dialed the house.  "Hey, dad.  We need Uncle Jigen.  Can you toss him the phone and go away?"  She snorted.  "Yes, you.  Because.  It's a Melissa thing."  She sighed.  "No, dad.  You can't help this time most likely.  Because. It's a girl thing, all right?  No, we don't want mom.  We want Uncle Jigen.  Because it's his little girl.  Daddy, did you eat all mom's chocolates again? You're acting odd and being a bastard.  Just put him on!"  He chuckled and tossed the phone over.  "Kick him in the ass for me.  He's being annoying again."  Her father yelped.  "Thanks.  Did you know that Melissa went hunting when she was younger?  That she hates the sight of blood?"  She looked at his daughter, then nodded.  "Yeah, I'm talking about your little girl."  She heard Marcus yelp for Jigen.  "Bastard. Don't do that to us!  Ah, that was mom first.  Good, then kick her again for us.  She was being naughty earlier.  Hi, Uncle Jigen.  Kick Marcus yet?"  She grinned at the new yelp.  "Thanks.  Did you know that your daughter had went hunting when she was younger?  That she doesn't like the sight of blood?"

She leaned against her own tree.  "Yeah, that one.  That's the problem."  She nodded a few times.  "She said she'd get sick."  She hummed, then sighed and shook her head.  "Maybe, but it'll still make her sick.  Yeah, that's doable.  No, it's the spurting and spilling and nastiness.  No, we suggested hypnosis.  She didn't like that idea.  No, we're all here but Lotus.  She's working in herbology today, all day."   She tipped her head off to the side.  "It might.  I don't know.  Yeah, that might be for the best anyway.  We've got an open house/desperately clean our rooms and hide the contraband session coming up soon.  No, one of your devotees is here teaching marksmanship.  Yeah, him."  She grinned at Melissa.  "I'll tell her you said that.  Sure.  Love you too."  She hung up and handed the phone back.  "Your daddy is coming up to give lessons," she said proudly.  "They were called earlier today to come up and give lectures on the reality of the life.  Mom's going to play 'stump the professors'."

"Hopefully they bring good treats," Ishi offered.  "My father?"

"Is coming up to test the martial arts classes.  They'll be staying for a few days after the parent's night."

"Of course.  Think we could get one of the cops up here to lecture on what the average criminals do wrong?"

"That's a wicked idea," Arsene said with a glint in her eyes.  "We'll have to ask about that."  She turned and ran back to the school, going to pounce the Headmistress and suggest it.  It'd freak out some parents and it would be helpful.  She ran into her going to dinner, stopping herself by hugging her.  "Hi, I just got an idea that'll freak people out but it'll be helpful and neat and really good for some of the idiots who think this is a playground."  The older woman nodded slowly.  "If our captive is still here, why can't he teach what awaits them and the common fuck-ups that we all have to teach us better?"

She blinked a few times, then patted Arsene on the head.  "Well, that's imaginative."

"Think about how many stupid mistakes rookies make.  Think about how many things we could get straightened out, like what prison is *really* like.  Think about the problems we could solve before we do them.  And that'll help weed out the posers faster."

"I'll consider it, Arsene.  Thank you for the suggestion," the Headmistress said, patting her on the shoulder.  "How are your groups?  Have you talked to your father yet?"

"We did, we're talking about Melissa's gun problems."  She let her go.  "You'll really think about it?"

"I'll consider it," she promised.  "We have a staff meeting tonight and I'll bring it up then."  She smiled.  "Any other ideas?"

"I haven't had one yet.  Have you announced our targets for field trials?"

"We'll be discussing that tonight, dear."  She patted her again and walked on.  "It's dinner.  You should eat."

"I will.  I'm not hungry now.  I'm going to go think.  I've got a great idea brewing and it's not coming out yet.  It's like Melissa and her idea constipation only nicer."  She headed up to her room to get her notebook and things to take out to her new thinking spot, passing the others on their way in.  "Dinner."

Ishi grabbed her and hauled her along.  "You have to eat too.  Otherwise you'll turn into a tiny, wafer thin, unrealistic girl who will be horribly malnourished and my father will scowl worse at me."

"He hasn't scowled at you since you snuck out of your punishment to go to that con," Melissa said dryly, helping haul Arsene along.  "We can go think later.  I've still got odd ideas floating around."

"Sure.  I'll eat for now," she agreed, letting herself be drug into the dining hall.  "Just a snack though.  I don't need a lot of food right now."

"You'll eat a real meal or I'll spank you myself," Lotus said from her seat.  "Sit and eat, Arsene.  Don't make me the mother of the group."

Lupin stuck her tongue out but sat down and pulled over a pork chop to nibble on while she stared out the window. "I wonder what mean things mom did to the cops."

"She'd had six cups of espresso and a regular cup of dad's coffee.  I'm sure one was about ready to cry by the time they convinced her to bother the commissioner," Melissa said dryly.

"Probably," Ishi agreed loyally.

"Eat now," Lotus growled.

They knew that sound, they dug in quickly.  A frustrated Lotus was a dangerous Lotus with a desire to push her frustration out on your skin.  It was always wiser to humor those urges.

***

Xander strolled up to the gate, nodding at the guards.  "Hi.  The Headmistress called for a delivery boy?" he asked with a grin.

"Name?"

"Lavelle."

The guard dropped his clipboard and looked around.  "No others?"

"Later tomorrow.  I'm here early to deliver chocolates, clothes, and assorted comics, anime, and gossip.  Oh, and the delivery the Headmistress asked me for."  He nodded back at his car.  "That good with you?"

"Sure, let me call her," he agreed, calling up to the office.  "Mistress, Lavelle is here," he reported.  "He has a delivery for you?"  His eyes widened and he nodded.  "Yes, ma'am."  He saluted Lavelle and hung up.  "How?"

"Easily," he said with a smirk.  He winked.  "Not that hard at all when you're *good*," he purred, walking back to his car so he could drive inside the manor's walls.  He parked near the school and got out, tapping on the trunk before opening it.  "Hi again."  He wiggled his fingers.  "Up!"  The dark-haired man with the eyepatch climbed out, glaring already.  "Whine."

"Why am I here?"

"To teach.  It's saving your life."  He walked him to the office's entrance, handing him to one of the teacher's waiting there.  "As requested, m'lady.  One very good cop with too much knowledge.  Stripped, redressed.  Everything but body cavity searched."  He saluted her.  "Where might my babies be?"

"They might be in PE but I doubt it," the teacher said dryly.  "They never seem to be."

"That'll stop," Xander said with a smirk.  "I'll go deliver presents.  The others'll be up tomorrow night."  He strolled back out, going to get the bags from the car and take them to find the kids.  He found one boy staring out at his car.  "Hey.  Where's Lupin the Fourth?"

"Hiding.  She has a zit and she's off her patch."  He looked up and gaped.  "You're...."

Xander smirked and winked.  "Sure am, little guy.  Her dad's coming up tomorrow.  Where's she hiding?"

"Her room.  Do you need to know the way?"

"No, I know it.  Thank you."  He handed over a candybar and headed that way, whistling casually.  By the time he got up there, Arsene was in her doorway, scowling at him.  He handed over two of the bags.  "Chocolate, your next six months of patches, and the new underwear you needed."  He kissed her on the top of the head.  "Melissa?"

"She supposedly went to class."  She broke open the first box of candy and nibbled on a piece.  "Daddy?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Good, that means I have time to clean."  She blew a kiss and went back inside, putting a patch on immediately.  It'd make her feel better.

Xander walked up to his daughter's room and put her bags on her bed, then to Lotus' and put her bag on her bed, then down to the main hall area since the bell had just rang.  He caught Ishi and handed over his bag personally.  "From the last con."

"Thanks, Mom," he said, giving him a hug.  "I missed Uncle Ray."

"Uncle Ray was still growling then," Xander said proudly.   "He came as a scowly good guy."

"He came as Uncle Zenny?"

"No, Gramps came as Gramps this time.  Ray came as a different scowly good guy.  Vecchio tried to kick my ass for what I did to him in the hospital but he gave up after I kept swatting him back for it.   He was trying really hard but I was in the mood to play.  He gave up and stomped off so Ray filled in Vecchio's spot and scowled at us all until Misty put him into a better mood and Bix showed up just then.  She said she didn't mind, that Ray had to smile at her so his scowling had better stop right that instant.  She kissed him and he lightened up like someone had filled him with incandescent lightbulbs and a few good batteries."  He chuckled.  "Someone asked her if she'd ever give us up and marry Ray.  She said when Yu didn't need her she'd be free of her promise and she would if he wanted her at that time.  Goemon overheard and said that if she wanted to leave their service she could go and he'd give her half of the family's money.  She scowled at him and told him that if she did that, the boys would be starved within two weeks if Marcus and I weren't there.  Ray got to kick Lupin for scowling at her for saying that."  Ishi giggled, leaning against him.  The bell rang.  "Which class?"

"Math," he said pitifully.

"Then you'd better go.  I'll see you later."  He dropped a kiss on his cheek and headed off again to find Lotus.  He found her stomping up and down on something in the garden.  "I left you stuff on your bed."

"Yes!"  She ran over to hug him, pulling him back to her spot.  "Kill this thing for me.  I can't even dig it up."

He looked at the plant, then at her.  "Have you tried salt and lye?"

"Then I can't plant something else here."

"True."  Xander got down and then smiled, taking the shovel to dig a *big* hole for her.  He handed over the plant by the stem, proudly grinning at her.  "I killed another plant!"

"Thank you, Uncle."  She went to put that nasty weed somewhere else and plant her own things.  The teacher walked past her and started to say something.  "It's in the compost heap.  I had to have Uncle Lavelle dig it up for me."

"That's fine, Lotus.  Thank you."  He went to share that news with the others.   Lavelle was there.  It was good gossip.

The Marksmanship teacher looked up as whistling started behind him, dropping the gun he was cleaning.  "You're...you're..."

"Melissa's mother actually," he admitted with a grin.  "And yes, I am."  He smirked at him.  "How's my baby doing?"

"Better.  On targets she's great.  She's gotten to the point where she can hit targets perfectly, unless it bleeds."

"Which is a bad problem, but possibly something fixable.  That's why I'm here early, to work with her before Jigen gets here."   He nodded.  "Where might she be?"

"Doing nature studies.  She's in the wood somewhere."

"Coolness."  He looked outside, then concentrated very hard on his little girl, shocking her lightly.  He heard her yelp and let out a bird call, leading her back.  "Hey."  He put an arm around her and walked her inside the range, closing and locking the door.  "Okay, let's work on this.  I'm officially already gone.  I got the Fiat in the courtyard for you."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "And now for some mom and kid time."  He tipped her chin up.  "Trust me, I don't like the sight of blood either.  But let me do what I did to your aunt once, okay?"  She nodded and he put his hands on her temple, concentrating on the vision he wanted to show her, changing it from him and Jigen to her and the others.   They were pinned down in courtyard of some sort.  There were people firing from all angles.  Ishi was shot in the arm and holding it.  Arsene was shooting frantically.  Lotus was on the ground.  Melissa was standing there looking at her gun.  "What're you going to do, baby girl?" he whispered.

Melissa whimpered and started to shoot the people trying to kill her and her family.  She slumped, clutching him around the chest.  "I'm sorry, daddy.  I don't want to let you down."

"You're not," he promised, patting her on the back.  He gave her a squeeze.  "This is something we've got to work on."  He tipped her face up.  "Sometimes it's necessary.  You've got to be willing to harm someone to save yourself and the others.  If you can't do that then you should not be in the field.  That's what drove Dawn out."

She nodded, hugging him again.  "I get it, daddy.  I know.  I just wanna...."  She shook her head, not sure what she wanted to say.  "Daddy, how did you get past that?"

"My first one was to save your father.  I was three days back from Hell and not in my right mind.  The next one was harder, but he was a bad guy and I was saving my own ass that time.  Your dad got *mad* at me," he sighed.  "He wasn't in that bathroom with that attempted rapist and drug dealer.  After that, it was like they were vampires for a bit and then it was necessary again."  She nodded at that wisdom.  "Now, the real question is your destiny.  Do you just want to be a planner or do you want to be with the others in the field?"

"I want to be in the field."  She pulled back.  "So if I have to I can juxtapose them for the vampires?"

"If you must but you'll have to deal with it sometime," he reminded her.

She nodded.  "I'll try, daddy."

"That's my girl.  That's all I ask.  That and you do not go into the field if you can't handle the job.  Lupin'll need someone doing plans for her and being a homebase."

She nodded.  "Sure.  Thanks, Daddy."  She gave him another squeeze.  "What did you bring me?"

"Some chocolates, your new pills since you said you're having problems getting the shot here. These are the ones that can stop your period for up to three months at a time."

"Cool.  I hate those things," she agreed with a grin.  "Anything else?"

"I got Ishi some new comics and stuff. You girls all got some chocolate but I got Lupin more because she's been pouting recently.  That and I brought the new teacher up."

"New teacher?" she asked.

"Lupin's idea," the marksmanship teacher said bitterly.  "To teach the kids the common mistakes, the common ways to get caught, and what prison is really like."

"A cop?" she asked in shock.

Xander nodded. "Yup, another wacky Lupin the Fourth idea," he agreed with a grin.

She groaned and shook her head.  "Why me, Goddess?" she muttered.

He patted her on the head.  "Think about her genetic donors.  It'll make sense some day, when she's not having wacky PMS ideas."

Melissa looked stunned.  "She does only think of these things when she's having her cycle!"  She smacked herself on the head.  "Fucking hell.  We've got to stop those for her."   She looked up but her father had snuck out.  "Dad!"

"He'll be back for parent's night tomorrow," the teacher said quietly, making her jump.  "Think you can work on that now?"

"I think so," she admitted.  "I'm going to think.  Thank you."  She walked out, going to think and see if she could work her mind around that stuff.  And figure out how to get Lupin's periods stopped for good, and hopefully hers too.

The teacher shook his head.  He loved kids like these.  They were what made the field fun.  Or very frustrating when you had to deal with their oddness, but mostly fun.

***

Lupin strolled through the gates, smirking at the guards.  "Have the kids snuck out yet?"

"Not yet.  They've been working very hard."

"On your patience or to destroy things?" Jigen asked as he followed.

The guard snickered. "No, I've actually caught them doing homework.  The other parents are in the dining hall."

"Thanks," Lupin said, heading that way with the others.  Goemon grunted as he walked past the guard.  "Forgive him, the babies pounced him *really* early this morning."

Marcus walked past with the older kids behind him.  "They're visiting their siblings."  Yu waved from his back and the others smirked at him.

"Two more Goemons and a baby Lavelle?" the guard asked.  He looked at the two girls.  "And two baby Sylvia's?" he asked hopefully.

"Unfortunately both the girls have higher callings," Marcus admitted.  "Two baby Goemons and a baby Lupin, who will probably be quite a lot like Lavelle," he agreed with a wink.  "They wanted to pounce their big sisters and brother."  He walked the children on, taking them to find their siblings.

"Sissy!" Fred shrieked, running and pouncing her, cackling when she screamed.  "Hi, sissy."  He nuzzled her neck.  "Missed you."

"Fred!"  She pulled him around to hug him.  "I missed you too, little guy."  She kissed him on the forehead.  "I take it everyone's here?"

"But Bix, she had a date," he said with a grin.  "We sent her with pretty presents."

"I'm impressed."  She smiled at her parents.  "Fred found me."

"I can see that.  He's supposed to not get away from Marcus."

"Bullshit!" Fred said proudly.  "My sissy."  He hugged her, snuggling up to her.  "Other sissies?"

"They're upstairs fluffing out their hair and putting on clothes.  I was about to change too.  You can come with me if you want."  He nodded.  "Be back in a minute, daddy."  She looked around.  "Mom?"

"Running late," Jigen noted, patting her on the back.  "Hurry back."  She nodded, jogging off with Fred attached to her.  He looked down at the sound of sniffling.  "She'll be right back and play with you then, Sarah.  She just needed to change clothes."

"Otay," she said pitifully.

"She's gone to get 'Lis and Lotus," Lupin offered.

"'Tay," she said again, looking pitiful.

"And Ishi too," he promised.  She beamed at that.

Melissa came out of the hallway, tying her hair back.  "Actually, Ishi should be at dinner," she noted.  She hugged the parents, then picked up Sarah and Alex.  "C'mon, guys, let's go pounce the Ishi and Lotus monsters."  They cheered and let her walk them off.  "Hi, Yu!" she called, grinning at him. "C'mon, Kenji.  We're going to see Ishi."  He trotted after her, looking around at everything as they walked.  The parents were following.  She walked in and deposited the kids on Ishi's lap before sitting down and picking up Kenji, letting him wave at his big brother.  "Lupin went to change with Fred."

"Cool beans," he agreed, grinning at Kenji, who was pouting.  "I'll hug you when Lotus steals one of the girls."  Lotus came in and squealed, taking Alex to hug.  "See?"  Kenji scrambled up and across the table, plopping himself down in his big brother's lap.  "How have you guys been?"

"We learn new stuff," Sarah said proudly.  "Even me."

"Congratulations," Ishi said happily.  He grinned at his father and Yu.  "Hi, other brother."  Yu squealed and bounced in his backpack.  "I'd hug you but I've got a full lap."

Jigen sat down and stole Sarah.  "There. Now you can fit Yu so he quits torturing Marcus' back."  He patted his baby girl on the back.  "They've missed you."

"I've missed being pounced awake in the mornings," Ishi noted.  "It's much harder to wake up to an alarm clock.  They have snooze buttons."

Melissa snickered.  "We had to go wake him up this morning.  The monitor was most shocked when he came running naked out of his room and headed for the showers.  I have no idea what his sister told him but it worked well."

"He had drool on his chest," Lotus said with a small shrug.  She smiled at her father.  "Hi, dad."

"Hello, Lotus."  He kissed her on the head.  "Hello, son."  He kissed him on the head as well.  He took his seat on the other side of Lotus.  "Arsene is taking a long time."

"Fred's probably playing with her bras again," Melissa offered.

Lupin the Fourth came back with Lavelle, who was dressed nicely in a 'working' suit and had his hair pulled back.  "Look at who I found looking up at the stars."

"Are they talking to you now, dad?" Melissa teased, grinning at him.

"No, I was waiting for a message from God that the next apocalypse is happening.  I'm supposed to be called back into service against my will," he said dryly, sitting between the two girls.  "Hey, guys."

"Hi," Lotus said happily.  "We can give you a tour later."

He winked.  "I already got one."  She giggled.  "So, my darling little ones, how have we been?"

"Busy," Ishi offered.

"The gym teacher finally relented and sent us to the advanced classes," Arsene offered.  "I'm doing a lot of gymnastics right now for balance."

"Her and me both," Ishi agreed.

Melissa shuddered.  "I'm doing yoga."  Her father gave her a long look.  "Daddy, I'm very good on targets," she offered.

"So I've heard, baby girl," he praised.  "I'm proud of you."  He looked around, noticing one kid staring at them in awe and longing.  "Who's the gaping boy?  Boyfriend?"

"We've taken him under our wing to help him," Ishi said.  "He's a money person so he's having problems with the more practical classes for thieves.  We had to work on his marksmanship and his PE stuff."

Lupin caught the boy's eyes and nodded him over.  The boy got up and brought his plate over, sitting down in a free spot.  "Hi.  So I hear you're their friend?"

"They protect me from the other boys.  They thought I should be a gopher.  Sir," he added as an afterthought.

"See, that's shortsighted.  A good money person can make or break your life.  Because if you don't have the funds camouflaged then the cops can find them and freeze them.  Plus, you know, they pay the bills when you're busy and deal with the retirement accounts," Lavelle offered.  The boy beamed at him.  "You doing college?"

"I don't know yet, sir."

"Kid, don't sir me.  I'm not a knight," Lavelle said with a grin.  "I'm a Lavelle."

"Yes, si...Lavelle.  Thank you, Lavelle."

"Your parents military?" Jigen asked.

"My father works for Chicago's underground network," he admitted.

"Then you'd be Herman's boy," Jigen said.  The boy nodded.  "Tell him Jigen said hi."  He smirked at him.  "He'll throw a fit.  Feel free to lie and tell him you're dating my daughter too.  That should save you a lot of problems from him."

The boy broke out in quiet giggles.  "I'll write and tell him that tonight.  Thank you, sir."

"Loosen up, Wyatt.  It's fine," Lupin assured him.  "We like the kid's friends.  We even put up with Lotus's friendship with one of Zenigata's nephews."

"I like Morgan, he's a neat guy," Lotus reminded him.

"Who's about to have his world busted open," Jigen told her.  "His mom's trying to file to get custody back."

"I'll write him tonight," she promised. "Thank you, Uncle Jigen."

"Welcome, little one.  So, how are classes?  I've heard you skipped out on a couple."

"We try to go," Ishi offered.  "The PE teacher wasn't that impressed with us until we showed our butts in class."

"We destroyed most of his course over that month we were in there," Arsene agreed.  "He wasn't happy with us, but it showed we were better than most of the kids our age."

"You've been playing and training in the life since you were six, guys, of course you are," Lavelle agreed.  "I worked very hard to make you guys the best ever."

"As did I and Marcus and the rest," Goemon agreed.

"No, he's got a right to be proud," Lupin admitted.  "He did more than Jigen and I together with the girls."

"Speaking of feeding us, can I please have the ham?" Arsene asked with a grin for her father.  "Any idea of targets?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  He frowned at Xander.   "He created such problems."

"Hey, Gramps told me to go bother the Commissioner.  I went to torture him.  He also asked me out on a date when I slipped him my email address."  He grinned at the choking sounds.  "What?" he asked innocently.

"Lavelle, you only take orders from me," Lupin growled.  "Not from the cops.  From *me*.  You're *my* gunman."

"Yes, boss."  He grinned at the girls.  "So, I'm supposing you got the stuff I shipped up recently?  The comics, the Fiat?  All that stuff?"  The others didn't know he had shown up yesterday and he wanted to keep it that way.

"We did, thank you, Uncle," Lotus said, handing him down the potatoes. "Here you go."

"Thanks, Lotus."  He hugged her.  "It's so boring around the house with just me and Marcus for fun."

"I'm sure the kids'll be helping you have fun soon," Lupin offered.

"Fred's gonna be such a good thief and gunman," Arsene cooed, grinning at the baby in her lap.  "You're going to come help us on jobs and you're gonna be Melissa and Ishi's backup.  We'll whore our way through the world once you're old enough and everything'll be a lot fun."  He tweaked her and giggled.  "If you're like your mommy, it'll only be better for us.  That way we can have our own version of Lavelle."

"If you recharge that choker and put it on him, I'd have to spank you," Xander said dryly.  He heard a squeal and looked around, frowning at the woman pointing at them.  "Yes?" he asked impatiently. "I'm talking with our kids.  You're interrupting."

"You're...you're Lavelle," she said, looking stunned.

"Sure am, babe.  And?"

"You're...."  She looked at the kids, swallowing hard.  "The second Lupin generation," she said in awe.  She found her daughter and pulled her over.  "This is my daughter, Mr.  Lupin.  May I present Amatrice LeBlac, a wonderful gunwoman in her own right."

"Actually, she's a better lockpick and hacker," Lupin the Fourth told her.  "We've used her recently for something outside the school."  The mother gave her a tight smile.  "Hey, Amme, wanna sit with us?"

"No, that's okay, I can sit with my parents," she said with a smile for her.  "If your daughter ever needs me, all she has to do is ask," Amatrice offered.

"That's good to know.  Little Lupin the Fourth does a good job choosing her helpers.  If we decide to run another camp, we'll invite you."  She smiled and led her mother away.  "Good hacker?"

"Yeah, excellent at it.  She apparently took to it once she got here.  She's a decent gunwoman but she's more sniper quality than assassin type.  She's an *excellent* hacker though.  She broke into Vecchio's computer and sent the bunny stuff."

Xander broke out in giggles.  "That was so cute!  He growled at me for it and I had to tell him it wasn't me.  I don't hack."

Melissa grinned.  "It was her design."

"Interesting.  Things like that deserve attention," Lupin agreed, smiling at the girl.  "I'll keep her in mind. You do the same, Lupin."

"I do, daddy."

"Good girl, Empress."

"She's an empress?" Wyatt asked.

"Of my empire," Lupin said smugly.

"Whereas Melissa's my crown princess," Lavelle added with a wicked smirk.  "When do you get to do an internship?"

"Next year.  I have a few people that I correspond with for professional courtesy and advice."

"I'll see what I can do to get you guys a special guest lecturer.  Murami's been looking for a helper and replacement for when she retires," he told Jigen when he got looked at.  "Where better to find someone?"

"Good point," Lupin agreed.  "I'll talk to her about it."

"I can do that."

"You're going to be busy making up to me for being naughty," Lupin assured him.   Xander cackled. "You will be."

"Only if the apocalypse doesn't happen first."

"Oh, don't you worry about that," Lupin assured him.

Lavelle blew a kiss.  "If the world ends, I'd have to go take my spot in Hell's bar."

"Quit guys," Jigen ordered.  "We'll figure it out later."

"Where were you, daddy?" Melissa asked.  Wyatt choked again.  "I'll explain later, Wyatt."

"Sure," he squeaked.

"I was busy doing something," he said with a wink.  "Nothing major."

"We'll be hearing *all* about it later I'm sure," Lupin promised.

"You wanted to hear about me going underwear shopping?  It's not usually the exciting thing you like to hear about."  Lupin gave him a long look so Xander smirked sweetly at him.  "Yes?"

"I'm going to paddle you later."

"Doggy paddle or just regular swimming?"

"Kids, quit," Jigen ordered.

"Yes, daddy Jigen," Xander said sweetly, smirking at Goemon.  "So, how's Bix?"

"Fine.  She's got a date tonight with Ray."

"Cool.  They're probably going to be late.  The last time I saw Ray's car he was slowly getting a flat tire."

"That's fine.  As long as he is proper with her," Goemon noted.

"Ishi, you've been quiet, are you okay?" Xander asked.

"Amanda said that doing the long-distance dating thing was too hard," he pouted.

"We'll help you look for someone nicer and who'll stick to you like glue," Xander promised.  "Someone nice and sweet and around."

"Just as long as it's not one of the daughters," Marcus said dryly.  "That would be a bit icky, Lavelle."

"Um, eww," Lupin the Fourth noted.  "Ishi's like my brother.  I may have peeked a few times to see what the big deal about boys is, but that's just nasty.  That'd be like me sleeping with Melissa, Uncle Marcus."

"I'd be hell in bed and you'd never keep up," Melissa said dryly, smirking at her.  "Besides, you two would drive each other insane."

"Not to mention us," Lupin the Third agreed sarcastically.

"The grandkids would be demonic," Jigen agreed.  "We'd never babysit."

"Me either.  I'd stand there and laugh and point, but I wouldn't sit," Lotus offered sweetly.

"Not an option," Ishi said firmly.  He frowned at Marcus.  "I'd never sleep with her!  She's not the sort of girl I like, Uncle Marcus.  She's bouncy and adventurous.  I like calm women, women who live for my pleasure and let me pleasure them in return."

"So, you want a geisha?" Marcus asked.

"Not really.  I'd prefer one that was only mine."

"I'll see what I can do," Xander promised.

"He can find his own girls," Goemon said firmly.

"Sure, I'll just screen out applicants," Xander promised with a grin for him. He smirked at his nephew.  "So, how's math and history?"

"Sucks."

"Son, you must try in your classes," Goemon ordered patiently.

"I do, I still suck at it," he snorted.

"As long as you're trying we can't say too much," Jigen offered.

"It's not like you're going to college," Lupin agreed.

"I would still prefer he got decent grades," Goemon reminded them.

"He's getting B's," Xander told him.  "He's simply a perfectionist about some things.  He gets that from you, big guy."

Goemon looked at his son. "Truly?"  Ishi nodded.  "Then I will not complain.  Try as best you can and accept that."

"Yes, father."

"Daddy, I got an 'A' in herbology and poisons," Lotus said happily.

"Good girl," he praised with a smile.  "You do me proud, daughter."

"Thank you, daddy.  Uncle, when am I being called to Japan?"

"This summer sometime."

"Okay."

"Where are we going for spring break?" Arsene asked.

"Not to Disney," Lupin the Third told her firmly, frowning at her mischievous look.  "You wanna go hit Disney Paris, you go alone.  I'm not subjecting my team to torture for the fun of yours, daughter."

"Sure, daddy.  Should we bring you back some mouse ears?"

"Bring Goemon back some," Jigen said with a smile for his little girl.

"She'll need practice shoplifting again," Melissa offered.  "She's out of practice."

"I'm sure she can get that here," Goemon reminded her.  "How are your studies?"

"The usual.  Boring.  The PE class is okay enough now that we're not doing the obstacle courses.  History and Math are the same, and we've done the current section so I'm moving ahead.  Accounting is kinda interesting.  Practical Education is about the same as we've been doing.  We're doing checkbooks and stuff now."  She shrugged.  "Stuff I've been doing for the group since we started doing stuff."

"We're moving onto cooking next," Arsene offered.

"True, we are," she agreed.  "That'll add some spice when some of the kids poison themselves and others."

"If you need special stuff, tell us," Marcus reminded her.  "I can make an excellent quiche and will send the recipe if you want."

"That's okay, Uncle Marcus.  We're starting out simple.  This is how you boil water and how you fry an egg.  Then we're moving onto some more complicated things, like scrambling eggs and baking chickens," Arsene told him.

"Don't worry, we'll be hyping that skill this summer," Lupin promised his baby.  Fred pinched him so he grinned at him.  "Yes, Fred?  Did you want to cuddle me now?"

"No!  Pinch!"  He did it again.

"Yes, that was," Lupin agreed, pinching him back.  "No more pinching me."  His son cackled just like him.

"Too late for him to go straight," Lupin the Fourth joked.  "He's got the wicked cackle down."

"So did you," Jigen reminded her with a grin.  "Yu likes to hide in dirty laundry too."

"I remember doing that," Ishi said fondly, smiling at his baby brother.  "Did you hide in mine or in Mommy's?"

"Mamamamama!" Yu said happily, pounding on the table.

"He hide in Mommy's nasty stuff," Kenji said, tugging on his sleeve.  "He hide in undies."

"Ooh, that had to be cute," Ishi said, grinning down at him.  "Wanna take a walk with me later, little guy?"

"Otay!"  He bounced some.  "We walk now?"

"Eat first, son," Goemon ordered.  Kenji grabbed some of food, picking up a piece of ham to nibble on.  Ishi ate as well.  He looked at the girls.  "You look well."

"We're much happier now that our supplies were replenished," Arsene told him.  "Thank you to whoever had the patches and pills sent."

"I didn't get mine," Lotus noted.

"I'll have her call in a prescription for you," Xander promised, patting her on the back.  "I'll mail 'em."

"Thank you, uncle."  She cut into her meat, eating heartily.  "We have midnight training in the woods," she reminded them.

"I remember," Lupin agreed, digging in.  Melissa ate as well.  "She's been doing well on her idea problem, Uncle Jigen."

"Good.  I know it was frustrating her still."

"Yeah, but the teacher here helped some.  They're not backed up and he's helping me by coaxing them out by suggesting things," Melissa told him.  "He's probably still drooling over the Fiat."

"It's a wonderful design.  I'd be doing it too," the elder Lupin agreed.  "I can't wait to get you in the workshop with me this summer, 'Lis.  I've already got an idea I want you to help me with."  She beamed at him.

The older group looked at each other then sighed in unison. "There is news about the Mother," Goemon said quietly.  They all dropped their forks.  "She's in London."

"She's still aching to get her hands on you guys," Xander told them.  "So be damn careful kids.  Make sure she can't get Wyatt too."

"Yes, Lavelle," Arsene agreed for her group.  She noticed Ishi's squeezing fist had bent his fork and nodded at it. "It'll be fine, Ishi.  She gets near you two over my dead damn body."

Ishi calmed himself by hugging his baby brother.  "I know.  I'm sorry."

"No, it's understandable," Xander soothed, patting him on the back.  "I'm pissed at her too.  I'm inches from dealing with her myself."  Ishi looked up at him, staring him in the eyes.  "It'll be fine, Ishi," he repeated.  The boy took comfort and nodded, giving Kenji another squeeze. "Eat, guys. You're losing weight."

"Bull.  My favorite jeans are tight," Melissa snorted.

"That's because you grew again," Lupin the Third reminded her.  "You're becoming quite a pretty young woman, Melissa."

"Thank you, Uncle.  It's all BS of course, but thanks for making me feel better."

"You're all very pretty girls," Goemon agreed.

"Hell, if you weren't my kids, I'd take you in an instant when you're older," Xander said dryly.  Lupin the Fourth looked at him in awe.  "If you weren't my kids," he reminded her.

"I know, but you really think we're that pretty?  You only sleep with pretty people, Uncle Lavelle."

"I know," he agreed smugly, "and I do think so.  You're all stunning children.  Even this gangly little guy over here who is apparently in the middle of another growth spurt."  He ruffled Ishi's hair.  "We need to get you a trim.  I'll steal you some weekend to do the shopping and hair stuff."

"Spring Break's in another month," Lupin offered.  "He probably needs to go to the eye doctor anyway."

"He does," Xander agreed.  "I've already made an appointment for that on your second day home.  I didn't think the 'rents would be doing anything that day."

"Probably not," Lupin agreed.  She looked at her cohort.  "That good with you or do you need to go sooner?"

"No, I'm good," he promised.  He groaned as another student approached them.  "Shit.  Moron alert," he told Lupin.

She wiped off her fork and stabbed the boy in the thigh, making him howl.  "Go away.  We're talking with our parents."

"You're going to be doing dishes tomorrow night for that, Lupin," the Headmistress called down from her seat. "Apologize."

"Sorry you're being a prick and interrupting," she sneered.

"I only came over to give my respects to your father," he sneered back.

"Chad DeMarllion," Lupin the Third said, looking him over.  "Put some pressure on that, it'll stop bleeding soon.  She didn't put much weight behind the fork."  The boy stood up, no longer holding it.  "Good to see that you're all right.  Are you enjoying the classes?"

"I am, sir.  My father said I was to pay my respects when you showed up next time.  Your daughter is my only rival here."

"And what am I?  Chopped liver?" Ishi asked snidely.  "By the way, thanks for the fudge.  How did you know I was having a chocolate moment?"  The boy looked stunned so he smirked.  "Speaking of, did you need Wyatt tonight?  I was going to work on his hand-to- hand after the parents left."

"No, that's fine," he said calmly, looking at Lupin.  "Your daughter is very good, sir."

"I know," he agreed with a smile.  "She's been doing jobs since she was eight.  These four have always made me very proud of their skills.  Give my regards to your father.  Hopefully you'll be as good, if not better, than he is."  The boy nodded and limped off.  "Buttfucker," he muttered as soon as the boy was gone.

"Daddy," Arsene said, smirking at him.  "I'm sure he can't be worse than some of his distant uncles."

"It happens in all families, daughter.  Remember, you do have a twin," he said wisely.

"Yeah, but she wants to be a good guy."

"True. She's doing very well at her new school.  She loves it up there.  They won the team marksmanship championship this year for their school.  Savannah's doing a lot of riding recently."

"Have they straightened out?" Xander asked.

"They have and they're happier there," Lupin assured him.  "They said they want to go back next year."

"Good deal.  I'm all for that," Xander agreed.  "Breaks and summer?"

"They want to go to a teen's police camp this summer," Jigen offered.

"That's only four weeks and they'd hate it," Xander pointed out.

"I know but they want to try.  After that, we'll sit out while they're home," Lupin assured him.  "Or we'll take the girls and do something while Marcus goes with them to do wholesome things."

"They could go on a cruise or on a trip around Europe," Marcus offered.

"They're much too young for that," Goemon disagreed.  "They're only fourteen."

"I'd chaperone them, Master."

"They're still too young and prone to trouble," Goemon reminded him.

"They wouldn't get as much as they would when they're eighteen," Jigen agreed.  "This summer we'll sit out for a bit.  Next summer we may send them on a trip around Greece or something."

"Um, Uncle Lupin, I've had a note from Morgan recently," Lotus said hesitantly. "He's acting like he wants to switch sides.  He was bragging that he got a new laptop for free."

Lupin the Third sighed.  "If he turns, I'll offer to teach him.  He's probably got some skills from his aunt and mother.  I doubt he'd stay though."

"Yeah, well, Uncle Zenny doesn't know that he does that yet," she offered.  "It'll kill him if he finds out.  He's too good to be in crime, too nice.  He's a lot like his aunt, only nicer and more innocent of reality sometimes."

"A lot like his uncle," Jigen agreed.  "We'll talk to the boy, Lotus."

"Thanks, Uncle Jigen.  That's what I wanted."

"Hey, not an issue. I've got a nephew who needed the same talk," Lupin promised.

"We have cousins?" Arsene asked.

"Yeah, I've got a half-sister and she's got four kids," he offered.  "They're in England."

"Can we go to the manor this year for the summer?" Lupin the Fourth asked.  "I've never really been there and it'd be good for the good girls."

"We'll see," he promised with a grin.  "It's an interesting idea."   He looked at Goemon.  "You?"

"I'd like to head home for a bit this summer.  I need to see some people in Japan."

"Sure, Goemon."

"Should we plan on going with you, father?" Ishi asked.

"If you'd like," he offered.  "Your sister may have to go for a bit, but you may travel with me if you wish."

"Me go?" Kenji asked.

"We'll see, son," he promised.  "It will be a long trip with a lot of walking."  His middle son nodded.  "If you behave, I'll consider it."  His son nodded more fiercely.

"Would we be taking a flat for the summer?" Ishi asked.

"I had thought about that as well," Goemon agreed. "I do have a small house."

"Plus the old school," Lupin reminded him.  "They could go there."

"True.  That is more preferable and we could do some intense training there."

"So could I," Lotus agreed.  "It is in a wooded area, it's near my group, and it's pretty up there."

"Then we'll go this summer," Goemon decided.  "We'll bring Yu as well.  Bix can handle Fred and Sarah."

"Yes, father," they agreed.

"If you need us, just yell," Lupin reminded him.

"I shall."

"Good.  Now that your summer's settled," Jigen said dryly, smirking at the girls.  "Did you guys have any plans for this summer?"

"We should be working on our plans for the coming back jobs," Melissa told him.  He nodded, that sounded reasonable.

"We'll need good targets," Lupin pointed out.

"I've been looking but there's not many left," Melissa offered. "Unless we want to hit some royal collections.  There's a wonderful Saudi collection of art and jewels."

"That's fairly well-guarded," Lupin reminded her.

"Not really. It's going on show in a few years."  She leaned her elbows on the table.  "I'll send you what I've been looking at."

"Sure, 'Lis.  You've got good taste in targets," Lupin assured her.  He grinned at his goddaughter.  "Any other ideas?  Like for field trials?"

"They're giving us targets," Arsene said in disgust.  "They were discussing them recently."

"In my day we got to pick but we also had at least two students shot a year because they got a bit too adventurous," Lupin offered.  "They'll pick something safe, but a bit challenging."

"Hopefully.  I don't want to do baby stuff."

The Headmistress caught her eye and smiled, standing up.  "Attention!" she called, quieting the crowd.  "I've heard a few of you talking about the field trials."  She looked at the teachers, who nodded, but one, who shrugged.  "We have picked targets.  This year's group will be the last two year's students, including the Lupin group."  That got some awed looks because they were younger.  "Also, since this is such a large group, there will be different groups going.  There will be four teacher led groups."  She glanced around and everyone nodded. "And one student led group; led by Lupin the Fourth and her team."  A few parents' mouths fell open at that one.  "Since they do have more monitors they will have six students for theirs.  The teachers will have five each.  The lists will be posted tomorrow so you will need to talk to your teacher to get information and start your research on the targets.  You may pick your own target of what you take from there.  It must be provable that it came from there however.  This year's targets are Venice, which is Lupin the Fourth's target with group A.  Professor Magretes, the marksmanship professor, will be handling students in Geneva and group B.  Professor Dillion, who teaches Planning and Organizations, will be taking Paris and group C.  Professor Tylis, who teaches History of Theft, will be taking Rome and group D.  I will be taking the last group since our usual teacher, Professor Ilanin is out on maternity leave, and group E will be taking on Amsterdam."   She clapped her hands.  "Lists will be up tomorrow. I will expect excellence."  She sat down, smiling at her students.  "You may return your conversations."

Lupin grinned at her group.  "Okay, six students," she said happily.  "Venice.  What targets are in Venice?"

"A few holy artifacts."

"A shopping area," Lupin offered to his little girl.

"Some great old houses," Jigen reminded them.

"A few museums," Marcus offered.  "There's a few palaces turned museum, a few real museums, some church museums, one started by Napoleon.  There's a costume and textiles museum.  That might be fun."

"I'm worried about doing art depending on who we're taking," Melissa noted.  "Some of them probably couldn't shoplift successfully."  She nibbled on her bottom lip.  "We'll do a general search tonight and get the list tomorrow.  We'll talk to our group, see if we're doing one heist or one each and supporting them."

"The rules usually go that each student has to steal their own things," Lupin the Third warned. "Monitors are there to make sure that they don't die, get arrested, that sort of thing.  Everything else is up to the students."

Lupin got up and went up to the head table.  "Are we supposed to sit back and watch or be backup support for our students?  Do you want them to do one together or one each?"

"One each and they can offer support but each student must pull their own theft," she instructed gently.  "This is to be their plan, their target, their ideas, their theft.  The most you can do is watch and take notes so we can grade them."

"If there's trouble, we're backup?"

"Definitely," she agreed.  "We've had some students who have gotten into a lot of trouble but you shouldn't have many of those.  I'm giving you some experienced students."

"Give us Wyatt.  He's a money guy and we know how he works best."  She nodded that she had done that.  "Okay.  Can we suggest targets?  Like draw up a list?  Some of the kids can't sneak a painting out to save their lives."

"It can be small," she promised.  "Something smaller is usually more easily done."

"So the costume's museum is an open target and we could take a mask?" she suggested.

"Definitely.  Then everything is sent back if it makes it through in good shape."

"Cool. Thanks."  She went back to her seat, grinning at Melissa.  "We're there to be backup in case of emergencies, take notes for grading purposes.  Everything else is theirs and it can be small things.  Like taking a mask from the costume museum."

"Each of you have to do one as well," Lupin reminded her.  "On your own."

"The only problem with that would be Lotus."

"Not really.  There's a magical academy there," she said smugly.  "They've got a museum.  Besides, I think I can do a small thing like that on my own as long as someone else can drive a getaway car?"

"Sure," Melissa agreed.  "We'll work it out so we all go at the same time.  Staggering maybe.  Each student does something and we pick them up at a set rendevous point or on the way past their sites. The driver can do theirs earlier in the day."

"I like that idea," Lupin agreed.  "Okay, let's draw up a list of targets off the Travel channel and other tourism sites.  That way the kids can have a list of things to pick from.  If they come up with an idea otherwise we don't have to do anything as long as they've got an idea of what they can take and it can be proved it came from there."

"Decent enough," Melissa agreed.  "Ishi?"

"I'm fine with that," he agreed. "When are we going?" he asked loudly.

"You go three weeks after you come back from Spring Break," one teacher called back.  "You're sent out with a single suitcase."

"Hmm," Lotus noted.  "I'll have to pack carefully.  I'll want to bring an emergency pack too."

"That can be a backpack," Arsene assured her.  "Ishi, I'll let you handle any weapons issues.  Melissa can do our research.  I'll help everyone look over their plans and pass them back to Melissa if they need a lot of help.  Lotus, I'll let you do the checking in and making sure they can prove it came from there."  She nodded that was a good idea.  "Wyatt, you're in our group."  He dropped his fork, shaking his head.  "Yup, sure are, buddy.   You're allowed to ask for suggestions but we can't do it for you.  So think really hard and plan for something small and not usually missed."

"Or you could do a home invasion thingy with one of the rich people," Melissa asked.

He swallowed.  "I'm not ready for that yet.  I suck at that stuff."

"That's why you make plans," Arsene reminded him.  "You can do this, Wyatt.  You'll do fine.  We'll be watching your back to make sure you don't get shot or arrested."  He nodded, still looking fairly pale.  "This is going to be kinda fun."

"It is," Melissa agreed.  "What are you doing?"

"I like jewels.  I've never hidden that.  Maybe something pretty from a personal collection.  I don't have many pins."

"You have to send it back, daughter," Lupin reminded her smugly.

She stuck her tongue out at him.  "That doesn't mean I can't take it back once I've got it."

"True," he agreed, Jigen and Goemon nodding to support him.  "We'll stay out of the way but we may pop around to watch you work.  We don't get much chance for that."

"Please don't," Wyatt begged.  "I'm going to be nervous enough without you guys watching us."

"We won't interfere, kid," Jigen assured him.  "Just making sure Pop and his cops don't show up for them.  They would interfere."  He nodded, still looking down. "You'll do fine.  It's not that hard.  Just plan carefully and remember that things can happen so make plans for them."

"Yes, sir."

"What happens if the kids don't get something?" Marcus asked.

"They're held back," Lupin said honestly.  "You get three years to get something.  If the sixth years get something and can prove it came from their site, then they pass it and don't have to do it again.  The seventh years went last year and the remaining ones this year didn't get anything.  If they don't get something this year, then they'll be held back a year.  If they don't get something next year they can't graduate."

"Wow," Lupin said in awe.  "Well, we're getting something this year.  Next year we'll only have to monitor."

"Next year?" Goemon asked.

She looked at him.  "We don't mind being here.  We're not sixteen yet and daddy wanted us out of the limelight until we were sixteen.  It's good for us to be here.  We can be smug bitches without doing more than helping most of the time.  Besides, we can graduate next year with a real diploma.  That might not mean much to everyone but some people will look at that."

Lupin nodded.  "I agree.  We'll see."

She nodded.  "That's fine.  I'm just hoping that I can herd the kids and get my own target.  That'd be embarrassing."

"Not really.  I was given the choice but I decided to do it anyway.  I had to save two of my classmates my first time," Lupin said dryly.  "A cop found us casing something and tried to shoot us all.  Including the Headmistress.  I went back later and handed it in Monday instead of Sunday night.  They had me redo it properly the next year."

She nodded.  "That's what I'm worried about."

"Be afraid, daughter," Lavelle agreed.  "Rookies make mistakes.  They make odd, strange, unexpected mistakes.  Be the mother you were as the babysitter."  The girls nodded at that.  "Good girls.  One of us will have to go bother Fujiko to make sure she doesn't show up either," he pointed out.  "I'll go kill her if we want."  Goemon gave him a dirty look.  "Sorry, big guy."

"No, it is a necessary thought," he agreed quietly.

"But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt," Ishi agreed. "I have that same feeling sometimes."  He got up and went to talk to the marksmanship teacher.  "Should I go armed?"

"Probably.  You've got a couple of kids who're bad screwballs and will probably have to do it again next year.  If your boss comes out like her dad did, then we'd probably accept a late submission."  He nodded.  "No more than your sword and one gun each and none for the students."

"Yes, sir.  I'll handle the weapons, Lotus is handling the emergency pack with bandages and things.  Who'll be doing the driving or can we?"

"You can," he offered.  "You'll have to plan that as part of the outing.  That, hotel or hostel, food, arrangements for casing places.  Cameras are always handy too.  That's a sure way of proving something came from a spot.  You'll have to present it as a project, pictures, report, everything.  The first part should be your plans.  Your research and your proof should come next.  The report on how it went, in detail, and you can add your notes later if you must.  Pictures of the item and all of that."

"So we'll need something too?" he asked.  The teacher nodded.  "Fine.  What about kids like Lotus?"

"That's off limits.  We don't want them to get in trouble with their own people.  They'll have to go to a mundane target."

"What if the kids want to do something at the same place?"

"Then they can plan to use the same entrance and exit strategy but they've got to show an individual way of getting their targets.  What were you thinking?"

"Uncle Marcus mentioned a costume museum.  Lotus and Wyatt could easily do that together but get separate things.  If she had my sword she could cut something free.  No magic?"  He shook his head.  "Fine.  I'll tell her.  Any other instructions?"

"Don't do the Doge's palace.  It's heavily guarded that time of year.  A few students have died doing it in the past," he ordered quietly.

"Yes, sir, I'll tell Lupin that."  He nodded and went back to his seat.  "Okay, this is going in project format.  Pre-plans, research, post plans and problems.  Pictures.  Lotus, no magic.  If they want to do the same target, they can share entrance and exit plans but they've got to do it individually and in a different manner.  One gun for each of us and we'll need cameras or video cameras.  We're responsible for planning lodging, food, car rental, and times to case things."  Melissa and Lupin nodded.  "Do not allow the Doge's palace. It's heavily guarded and people have died in the past."

"What do the kids in the assassin's program do?" Lotus asked.

"They have a target," Lupin told her.  "They've got to be graded on doing their jobs, sweetheart."  She shuddered but nodded.  "And in the past," he said, looking at his daughter, "a few students have chosen targets inside the school."  She raised an eyebrow.  Then she nodded once.  "Okay.  We'll be in Venice.  Marcus, go harass Fujiko.  You won't kill her but you can make her miserable at that time."  He nodded.  "We'll watch out for Pops and his cops."

"There's a convention near then," Xander offered.  "It's in Venice."

"That's fine.  We'll keep them away from the kids," Jigen agreed.  "I'll do Vecchio, Lupin you do Pops.  Lavelle, you do Kowalski."

"On it," he agreed.  "Should we take notes of problems if the kids can't?"

"If we find out something we'll make sure to send it back.  It's a parent's duty," Lupin promised with a grin.  "It's a good way of screwing over someone else's kid in favor of your own."

"That's cool.  I don't want to have to dodge Gramps and his two Rays while bird-dogging students and pulling my own heist," Melissa agreed.

"When's the convention?"

"The next weekend I think," Xander told him.  "If you do well, I'll try to get you sprung for a day."

"Thanks, Uncle."  He gave him a gentle nudge.  "Is Kenji with you?"

"No, he's pulled a neat baby Xander trick and went to snuggle up to some tits," Xander said, pointing him out to the big brother.  "Yu's presently trying to nurse on another girl, and Alex is playing with Jigen's hair while Fred is stalking a couple of his own and Sarah is cooing at the Headmistress while patting her shoes because they have furry tops."

Lupin stood up.  "Kids," he called.  Fred pouted at him.  "You're too young to pick up chicks, son.  Get back here.  You as well, Kenji.  Whoever has Yu, he's weaned, give him back please."  He sat down.

"Sarah," Jigen called.  "You can pet the cats when we get home."  She pouted at him.  "Tough.  Now."  She pouted all the way back to his side.

Kenji found his baby brother and walked him back, then pouted at his father.  "She pretty!"

"Tough, son. You do not disrespect women like that."  He patted his son on the back.  "Someday you will have a nice girl of your own.  Until then you can wait."

Xander coughed.  "Fred's presently crotch diving and her boyfriend is trying to pull him up since he supposedly slipped while climbing up into her lap."

Lupin groaned and got up to get his son.  Fred was definitely a Lupin by birth.  He walked over and cleared his throat.  "Son."  Fred finally managed to climb up her to snuggle up to her tits.  "No, son.  You're too young to pick up women."

"He's not being a bother, Mr. Lupin," the girl said sweetly.

"Yes he is.  He's undoing your bra for you," he said dryly, smirking when she checked and squealed, swatting at Fred for doing that.  "Can I have the baby Lupin back?"  She handed him off.  "He's sorry.  He's five."  He walked him back, sitting him in his lap.  "Son, no going after women.  No lap diving.  No undoing bras until you understand what they're for."

"They for food," he said happily.

"Not for you. You eat real people food, not milk," Xander said dryly.  He frowned at his son, who scowled back.  "Tough, Fred.  You've got to wait to get tits again."

"Fine," he said, pouting now, arms crossed over his chest and bottom lip stuck out.

"Damn and I thought I was the horny Lupin heir," Arsene said dryly, cracking her father up and making him shake his head.  "Hey, Fred, wanna come sit in my lap?"

"No.  You sissy, not girl."

"Girls are sisters," she assured him.

"No, you sissy, not a girl," he said, pouting worse.  He managed to get down beside his father's chair and checked.  Lupin was eating again.  He started to move away again.

"Fred, one more step and I'm calling the baby leash here and putting you in it," Xander warned.  "No girls, no boys, and no pretty things so go give back the earrings you stole."   Fred sat down, crying loudly at the unfair treatment he was getting.  "Now."  He sniffled as he walked off, going to hand back the earrings of the first girl he had snuggled up to.

"That's mean, daddy," Arsene said with a grin.  "You let us steal on that plane to Orlando at that age."

"You were a bit older and we still had to send stuff back since you got someone's passport."

"Not to mention a formula for a new liquid explosive," Melissa agreed dryly, smirking at him.

"That's true, you did," he agreed with a grin for her.  "Then you guys almost stole a dolphin."

"A dolphin?" Wyatt asked.

"Yeah, Arsene nearly brought one home with her.  She had the plan in place, including blackmailing a worker at Sea World.  We stopped her before she could try it out.  Melissa had arranged transport for the poor, sick thing - according to her story.  They've been thieves now for a *long* time, kiddo."  Wyatt grinned.  "Hell, when you write your parents, tell him you're dating both of them if it'd help freak him out."

"Nah, he hates me, Lavelle," Jigen put in.  "It'll cause him to choke and scream in rage."

"We need a new product to go to the Inventor's Showcase and Exhibition this year," Lupin the Third announced.  "That way we can case all the ideas so 'Lis and Lavelle have things to work on.

"Beer with viagra added?" his daughter suggested.  Marcus spluttered and choked on his present drink of water.  "Budweiser has one that has caffeine and herbal supplements," she reminded him when Lupin gave her a funny look.

"Beer goggles and viagra," Xander said with a shudder.  "Oh, Gods, that's a bad thought.  Just think of the kids that could come to be!"

"The slogan could be something like 'don't let a night with the boys keep you from a night with the ladies'," Melissa suggested with a grin for him.

Both Lupin and Jigen shuddered at that thought.  "Ewww," Jigen decided.

"But it'd sell," Lotus said.  "Lots of guys would buy it."

"We could use an herbal viagra," Jigen said.  "That way it's not trademark infringement."

"We don't know how strong we'd need to make it to counteract the alcohol," Lupin said, trying to quash the idea.  In his fertile mind he could just see the results.  Beer goggles were bad enough but adding viagra to it?

"That's easy, we use Marcus as a test subject," Jigen said with a shrug.  "He's got a low alcohol tolerance and people who can wear it out afterwards."

"Most people don't drink just a single beer," Marcus put in.  "That means you could probably get on with a tenth strength dose.  It would have a cumulative effect."

"It'd be easy enough to calculate, ask a few bartenders the average of beers their customers get a night.  They should be able to do that for the quieter nights," Ishi offered.

"We could do all the research within a few days," Jigen agreed.

"I'm still having horrible visions of the product at work," Lupin protested.

"Think about all those virgins who drink for courage," Lupin the fourth offered.

"Eww, daughter, and you had better not be one of them."

"Hell, no, daddy, I'm going to go pounce someone and use them, then leave them limp and lying around."  She ate a bite of dinner, patting Fred on the back when he came over to get a hug.  "Hi, Fred."

"Hug you."  He grinned then went back to his father's side, hugging him too.  "Wuv you, daddy."

"I love you too, Fred," he said, grinning down at him.  "Be a good boy and we'll get you a treat later."  Fred beamed and nodded, sitting down to work on his shoelaces.  He hadn't quite gotten the bows part of tying them.  He could do good knots though.

"Let's talk of happier things," Lupin announced.  "Before I can't eat dinner."

"Sure, daddy.  We're still growing so we may need to do some bra shopping during break."

Lupin spluttered, groaning as he wiped off his mouth. "I'm not the person to talk to that about.  Change the subject again."

"Sure, daddy.  We've got a formal coming up and we'll need help choosing for it too.  I was thinking about red since it looks so stunning on us.  It'll make me stand out among all the black gowns.  I saw a hot little number in Rome.  It was a bit low-cut but I'd look great in it.  It's get me admired and wanted by everyone there."

Lupin groaned.  Why did he have a daughter first and why was he cursed with a daughter who thought like him?

***

Arsene looked at the people who were gathered in the library.  "Okay, we pulled up some travel information to give you a partial list of possible targets.  If you have something you want to do, we'll agree as long as it's not the Doge's Palace.  We were told they'd be heavily guarded and that's how the school loses a few students each year."

DeMarllion sneered at her.  "Scared of a few guards?"

"No, but you're not allowed to go armed."  He paused at that but shrugged and went back to sneering.  "So if you're *that* set on that target, you've got to get permission from the Headmistress for it, not from us."  She looked at the groups.  "I'm assuming you were all told that this was to be handed in as a project?  Including research, preliminary plans and all that?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Okay, the way we've figured this out is this.  I'm going to be the one you come to for plan help.  I can't do more than advise where I see problems.  Melissa can help you find research sources.  Ishi's going to handle the weapons that the monitors will be bringing while we're tailing you and taking notes.  Lotus will have an emergency pack in case something horrible happens.  We were told that if you picked the same targets you could go in and come out together but you had to have different approaches to the actual theft."  Everyone nodded.  "So, have the list," she said, handing them out.  "We used the Travel Channel, which the address is up at the top of the page, and a few other travel sites.  We've never been more than through Venice.  Closer to the time we'll be setting up hotel, car rental, all that stuff.  We'll ask your suggestions on hotels and try to make it close to the targets to give you plenty of time to case things."  They all nodded.  "Any questions?"

"Do you still have to pull one?" Wyatt asked.

Melissa nodded from her kicked-back position.  "Yeah, we each have to pull one separately.  One of the others will take notes for us while we go out.  We'll probably go out that first night and do it while you guys case, then you guys can do it the next day and we'll figure out pickup schedules when we've got a timetable down."  They nodded.  "We're tentatively planning on being let out early that Friday.  That means Friday night in Venice, parts of Friday and Saturday to case and choose your actual target.  Saturday or Sunday to steal it.  Then we'll head back here.  That a problem for anyone?"

Lotus raised a hand.  "I checked our calendars.  We've got a test that Monday in History."

"Pity," Lupin told her with a grin.  "If we're all done early we'll come back early."  She looked at the group.  "There are two complications that have arisen.  There's a fandom convention in Venice the weekend after that, we think.  It may be the weekend of."

"Your parents are going to be there?" DeMarllion sneered.

"Only to keep Zenigata and his two Rays off our backs," Ishi told him.  "They're already after us, guys.  The 'rents are going to be distraction and watching out for them to come after us.  They may also watch over your shoulders but you shouldn't ever see them."

"The second one is that this will add even more people to the streets of Venice," Melissa noted.  "That convention is supposed to usually have about 200 attendees.  It's downtown so right near where we'll be."   They groaned.  "That can help or hinder you.  It's also right in the middle of spring tourist season."

"I wish we could have gone during Carnival," Lupin sighed, leaning on the table.  "There were lots of pretty things on display then."

"We made a deal with an old Doge not to go," Ishi reminded her.  "Due to the religious significance of the festival we agreed not to make it a target."

"I know but it'd have been a lot easier."  She looked at them.  "Any questions?"

"Home invasion?" one young woman asked.

"Hasn't been ruled out," Lupin told her.  "Can be dangerous but then again you're a thief. How would you prove it came from that spot though?"

"Good point.  Running a tape?"

"If you can do that discretely," Melissa agreed.  "That can easily be part of your project.  The cameras we used to use only held about twenty minutes of film and they were relatively light and easy to use.  I can call to see if we can borrow some if necessary."

The young woman nodded, looking at her list.  "Most of these are museums."

"Yeah.  They're actually easier than hitting somewhere like a major jewelry house.  It's also easier to prove that something came from there," Lupin pointed out quietly, looking at the librarian's helper as he walked closer.  "Not in this year's group?"

"No, I have a few classes to do before I join them," he said with a bright grin.  "But I did summer in Venice a few years back," he offered.  "I can help with maps and stuff if you need it."  Everyone nodded at that.  "The Headmistress has sent something."  He handed it over to Melissa.  You never handed Lupin stuff or Ishi messages, they always went to either Melissa or Lotus.

Melissa opened it and hummed. "Okay, home invasions are not off the list, but you've got to have a good reason for not hitting a better target.  The Doge's Palace is officially off the list."  She looked at DeMarllion.  "There's some sort of business conference at that time and they'll be using the Palace."  She handed it to Lupin.  "Those who want to do a home invasion, you'll need to know what you're getting.  That could mean news clippings of jewelry.  There's also a costume museum on there for those who want to do something smaller and easier.  It probably won't have high-tech security like the Guggenheim."

"That's in New York," the library helper pointed out.

"Their niece or sister or something has her former residence set up as a museum in town," Lupin told him.  "I checked on that when I saw it.  Some nice modern art."  She looked at their group.  "Any other points that need discussed?"

"Is Ishi bringing his sword?" DeMarllion asked.

"I asked last night and was told I could bring it," he agreed.  "I've earned the right to use it.  I probably won't be using it for my heist.  Guys, do we want a weekly session to look over plans and things, starting in two weeks?"  They all shrugged.  "Okay, come find us if you need us."  They wandered off.  He looked at Lupin.  "I'm doing art, probably a small statue."

Melissa sighed.  "I'm doing art, but there's a good Church museum that has some pretty sketches.  It's got light security so I thought I'd do that place."

"I still like jewels so I thought I'd do something like that," Lupin offered.  They all looked at Lotus, who was reading.  "You, Lotus?"

"The costume museum seems to be good enough for me," she promised.  "Unless we find another good target."  She looked up at them.  "Hate to mention this, but two of us will be on our cycles during that weekend."

"My new pills take care of that for up to four months at a time," Melissa assured her.

"Mine don't."

"That's easy, you don't take your 'free' week," Lupin told her. "I asked the doctor about that.  You keep going to the next month instead."   Lotus grinned at that.  "Pretty neat, huh?"

"Very.  Much better than our ancestors."  She went back to her reading.  "This costume thing is pretty neat.  I should be able to find something easily."

"Good.  Does Carnival have anything like Mardi Gras or Carnival in Rio?  With special costumes and things?  Things like the samba costumes, not the general ones?"

"No, not really.  Unlike Mardi Gras I couldn't find a 'king and queen' section of the reports either.  Outside of the Doge.  Lotus?"

"Huh?"

"Have you seen anything like a king and queen of Carnival?"

"Nope."  She put down her book.  "I'm thinking if I don't do costume stuff I'll do a Church thing."

"Just don't get something with something extra stuffed inside," Lupin said dryly.  "That's all we'd need, a Slayer showing up during it to save our butts."

"Not an issue. I can deal with that sort of thing," Lotus reminded her.  "No Slayers needed."

"Good, but that'll get priests on our asses," Melissa told her.  "Nothing demonic."

"That brings up a point.  Is there a demon court there?" Arsene asked.  "I don't want to get Mom in trouble."

"It shouldn't get him in trouble," Melissa pointed out.  "Most of them don't put us and him together.  They put Mom and us together but they don't really put them together either."  She put her chair back down so all four feet were on the floor and sat up straight.  "Okay.  I'm doing a sketch.  You're a church thing, Lotus?"

"Probably," she agreed.  "Lupin?"

"Not sure yet.  Let me go through the newspapers before I make a decision."  They nodded and looked at Ishi, who shrugged.  "No idea?"

"Not yet.  I'm thinking a small statue sort of thing, which means a museum."  He shrugged again as he stood up.  "I'm heading up to shower.  Behave, ladies.  I'll see you at dinner."  He strolled off.

"Think he's going to toss off in the shower?" Lupin asked, just loud enough for Ishi to hear since the back of his neck turned bright red.   Having his hair up showed that quite well.

Lotus giggled, shaking her head.  "You're so bad.  He's got a private room, why would he need a shower."

Ishi hurried out faster.

"Ladies, that was mean," Melissa chastised, then burst out in giggles.  "Gods, that was bad. Congrats, girls."  They broke up, heading to do their research.

***

Lupin caught up with Xander the next day and grabbed him, pushing him against the wall.  He moved closer, hissing in his ear.  "I need to paddle your ass until you behave," he growled.  "You are mine, Xander. You go torture people because *I* ask, not because Pops asks.  You only torture people for *me*.  Do you understand?"

"What about Jigen?"

"He can fuck off.  You're mine.  I had you first.  You're mine.  My gunman.  My student.  Mine."  He pressed against him.  "I'm going to paddle you so hard you're going to scream and beg for me to stop."

"And if you try that, I'm going to get free and walk away and you'll never see me again," Xander reminded him.

"Then I guess I'll have to prove it to you some other way.  Go upstairs."

Xander looked back at him, giving him a smug look.  "Upstairs?  Why would I want to hide up there?  I was going to work with Fred."

Lupin growled again, deciding he'd had enough.  He undid his belt.  He pushed down his pants.  He undid Xander's pants, and spit on his hand.  That was all the preparation he was going to give.  Xander howled and pushed himself against the wall.  "Shut up," he ordered, pushing in harder.  He slammed into him then pulled back and did it again.  "You're mine.  Repeat that."  Xander whimpered.  "Mine, Xander.  Not Pop's.  You don't torture people on his orders.  Only on *mine*.  Say it!"

"Y...yours!" he panted.

"Mine!" he howled and smashed his lover against the wall, going off inside him.  He bit Xander on the neck, shaking his head slightly.  "Mine," he repeated when he let him go.  He pulled off, sliding down the wall he had been smashing his lover into.  "Shit."

Xander flopped down, head on Lupin's thigh.  "I'm sorry."

Lupin patted him on the head.  "Just remember that so I don't have to do it again."  He glanced around the hall, noticing Kenji and Fred staring at him.  "Out!"

They ran out screaming, bringing Goemon and Jigen running.  "Daddy beat up Daddy!" Fred yelled, pouting and jumping up and down.

Jigen glanced at Goemon.  "Keep 'em out here."  It could only be two things.  Either an actual fight or sex.  He walked back that carefully, hand on his pistol.  Just in case he was wrong.  He found them in the hallway and relaxed.  "You scared the kids."

"He's mine," Lupin said firmly, hand tangling in Xander's hair to give it a gentle tug.  "All mine."

Jigen nodded.  "Uh-huh.  Okay.  Maybe you should go up and clean up?"  Lupin growled at him.  "Xander?"

"Sore," he said weakly.

"Upstairs," Goemon said as he joined them.  "Preferably after you put on your pants again."  He was scowling now.

"Sore," Xander repeated, sounding more weak.

Jigen leaned down, removing Lupin's hand and pulling him up. He noticed the spots of blood.  "Xander, are you all right?"  Xander blinked at him.  "Go up to the bathroom and wait on me, man."  Goemon took Xander up there since he didn't seem to be firing on all cylinders.  Jigen looked at Lupin then kicked him on the thigh, making him shake his head and wake up again.  "You ripped him."  Lupin got up and ran up the stairs, pulling up his pants on the way.  Jigen walked up after him, going to check on Xander if Lupin wasn't begging and pleading for forgiveness.  He found Lupin checking him over and Goemon running a bath.  "He okay?"

"He'll be fine. It's a minor thing," Lupin said calmly.

"Good."  Jigen pulled Lupin up then punched him, knocking him onto his ass.  "Don't do it again."   He walked Xander into the bathroom.  "Xan, are you all right?"  Xander nodded, swallowing hard. "I can shoot him for you."

"No, I'm fine," he said quietly, stripping off and climbing into the warm water, wincing a bit.  "Warm."

"It's all right, Xander," Goemon said quietly, handing him a sponge.  "Relax and recuperate."  He walked out, finding Lupin curled up on the floor.  "Do you feel better now?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  He got up and headed in there, shoving Jigen out and locking the door.  "Xander?"  Xander looked at him.  "I'm sorry."  He knelt beside him.  "I didn't mean to hurt you or bring back bad memories or things.  I'm sorry."  He stroked his hair gently.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he said tiredly.   He gave him a kiss.  "If you *ever* do that again, I'm going to kick your ass, piss on your broken body, and then laugh my ass off."

Lupin nodded.  "Sure.  I'll lay there and let you do it, Xander."  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "Want help?"

"I could use someone to do my back."

Lupin grinned and took the sponge, shifting so he could get the poor thing's back.  "I'll steal you something pretty later."

"Sure.  Or we could go torture the Commissioner together."

Lupin smirked at him. "You're so bad."  He tweaked him on the nose.   "We'll see."

Xander patted him on the head.  "You be a good boy and I'll let you give me a backrub too."

"Don't push it, Xander.  I'm feeling sorry, not mushy."

"Sure, be that way then.  Watch me read tonight."

"Fine, we'll go torture the cops later this week."  Lupin went back to scrubbing his lover's back for him.  The door opened and he looked back at Jigen.  "I locked that."

"Like I can't pick locks," he snorted.  "You okay, Xander?"

"Fine now.  Thanks, Jigen."

"You're welcome.  We'll explain it to Kenji and Fred that you weren't trying to kill each other."  He glared at Lupin and held up a finger.  Then he walked away.

Lupin hugged Xander gently.  "I'm sorry.  He'll kick my ass for you later."  He handed back the sponge.  "Want something to drink?"

"I wouldn't mind.  I think I'll be up here for a while."

"Sure."  He got up and headed downstairs to get some juice and snacks.  He came back up the stairs and found Goemon back in there.  "I can help him."

"I'm keeping myself from hitting you," Goemon said coolly.  "You exposed my son to violence."

"Goemon, he wasn't there when I started," Lupin told him.  He handed over the tray, watching as Xander set it across the lip of the tub, then he looked at his friend.  "I'm sorry.  I got possessive, I got stupid, I got neanderthal, and I acted.  I'm sorry, I've already apologized to Xander, who I hurt."  Goemon glared at him now.  "Your son wasn't there when we started."

"He probably came in when I groaned," Xander agreed.  "Goemon, he already knows it's not like that.  He's walked in on us before.  If I have to, I'll talk to him."

"No, you'll sit there," Goemon ordered firmly.

"I'm the one he hurt and I'm not that hurt.  I'm just not going to be sitting on any hard chairs for a while.  Get off the subject. If Kenji has a problem, I'll help you with that.  Now, drop it."  He and Goemon glared at each other and Goemon backed down.

"Fine.  I'll let you explain it to the boys when you get out.  I'll lay out some pajamas for you."  He got up and walked out, going to pull out some soft pajamas and lay them on the bed.  He walked out and headed down the stairs to talk to the boys.  Hopefully he could explain it without warping them.  Fred ran over to hug him.  "Boys.  We should talk."

"Daddy okay?" Kenji asked.

"Yes, he's fine, son," Goemon agreed.  He sat down, pulling them both into his lap. "They were not really fighting.  Lupin lost control.  That is not normally how things happen when people are intimate with each other."  He struggled for a moment with what he wanted to say.  "Lupin did not really hurt Xander, nor did he mean to hurt him.  It was not a fight."

"Were they wrestling?" Fred asked.  Goemon nodded quickly, that was close enough.  "Then why did Daddy have his dick up him?"

Goemon groaned.  "Xander will explain it to you later," he promised.  He pushed them off.  "Go play until them."  The boys ran off chasing each other.  He saw Kenji pulling on his belt.  "Son!"  His son stopped, looking shocked because his father had yelled at him.  "Leave your clothes on.  You do not need to get naked right now.  It is not bath time."

Jigen came out.  "C'mere, Kenji.  I'll get you in a minute, Fred."  He walked the boy aside and talked quietly for a moment, then Kenji nodded and ran off, sending Fred over.  He talked to Fred for a bit longer, mostly because Fred asked a question that made Jigen grimace.  Then Fred ran off and bopped Kenji upside the head, making his friend chase him.  Jigen walked over and sat down, looking at Goemon.  "I explained that they were arguing but that they weren't being mean to each other.  That they made up and had sex.  Kenji said that cuddling after a fight was a good thing and Fred wanted to know if that was why his daddy had his dick out."  He got up.  "Want a drink?"

"Please," Goemon agreed.  He got comfortable, watching the boys play and tease Sarah.   Fortunately Alex tripped them both and sat on their backs, making them howl in outrage.  "Boys," he called.  "Quit picking on the girls."

Jigen came out with two large water glasses, handing one over.  "If Alex pounced you, you weren't fast enough and you deserved it," he called.  He sat down to sip his whisky.  "Another day gone, another problem gone past."

"Fortunately."  Goemon sipped his drink.   "Hopefully no more will come of this."

Lupin Family Fun.

Arsene looked at her cohorts, then sighed.  This just sucked.  She looked at where her students were, shaking her head.  "They suck," she whispered.  Melissa grimaced and nodded.  "Are we noting this?"

"Oh, I am," Lotus agreed bitterly.

"I'll do the next one."

"That's DeMarllion.  I'll do him and you do Wyatt."  They looked across the park at the unrealistic thief who wanted to steal part of a statue.  "How is he going to get that off?"

"Short of a hammer and chisel, a jackhammer, or explosives, I don't have a clue," Ishi admitted, stretching out on his portion of the bench they were sharing.  "Cop."

Arsene snorted as she watched the obvious cop watching the boy.  "Okay then.  Either he's sloppy and ineffective, or he's got a really good cover."

"I'm not taking that chance," Melissa decided.  She got up and strolled over, leaning against the boy's arm.  "Cop," she whispered.  "Messy guy in blue and tan."  He stiffened and nodded.  "You can come back.  I'm doing your evaluation."  He nodded, walking her off, taking her back to the bench.  "Okay, are we aborting our afternoon activities?" she asked as she rejoined them.

"Remember how I said that if we got stopped by someone you didn't know me?" Arsene asked the young thief.  He nodded quickly.  "Remember that."

"Why?"

"Because I've already got stuff out for me," she reminded him.  "We came in already trained."  He pouted.  "Sorry, but we've been with the 'rents now for *years*.  School was to give us chances to socialize."

"And sometimes we snuck away from the parents," Ishi said dryly.

"Usually those were more fun," Melissa agreed.  "Did your dad ever figure out what we brought back from that rescue?"

"Nope," Arsene said smugly.  She crossed her feet, watching as a few more cops showed up in the park.  "Okay, it's getting crowded and they're taking my sun.  We're heading to do a snack."  She got up and they followed her off.  She nodded at Melissa, who walked the boy off like he was her boyfriend.  Ishi and Lotus took off together since it was clear they were siblings to anyone who could ever wonder.  Arsene kept going, heading for her new favorite place to get gelato.  She paid for a small dish of lime gelato and went back out to sit on the porch, watching the people go by.  She noticed a few of their students were out watching things as well and groaned.  Shit, they couldn't follow orders.  They were so screwed if the cops found them.  She ate another bite, catching the eye of one of the boys, who jogged over and whispered in her ear.  "Fine.  The park was getting crowded.  It was like a convention of people in overcoats with hats and badges."  He looked stunned.  "So be careful.  The others are heading back to the hotel."  He nodded and went back to his watching.  He was staring at the people doing drawings of the buildings, not a bad hobby.  He was a bit obvious, something he'd figure out with more training.  If the cops didn't shoot him this weekend.  She ate another bite, looking around.  She slumped down when she saw Zenigata walk past but he was reading a file so maybe she was fine.  She disappeared once he had gone past, missing him turning and looking at her seat, looking quite confused.

***

Melissa looked around in horror as shots broke out, groaning because she was alone with the thief-in-training. "You are so dead when we get back," she hissed as the boy ran past her.  She pulled her gun and took a deep breath before stepping out and hitting whoever was shooting at them, trying not to pay much attention to who she hit.  He had a gun, he was going to kill her, he could die.  She ran after the thief-in-training, dragging him into a small club and to a corner table, smacking him across the back of the head.  "Stupid asshole," she hissed in French.

"I didn't know!"

"Bullshit!"  She sat him down and pulled out her phone, dialing the hotel.  "Problems.  He hit a hitter's house."  She hung up and glared at him. "Okay, this is your problem.  How are you getting out of this?"

"Me?"

"You!"  She calmed herself since the music was quieting again.  "You didn't do your research.  This was your assignment, your plan.  I got you out of there alive.  You're going to either have to find a new target, or deal with this and go next year."

"I don't have another year," he hissed back.

She glared at him.  "Then you can be fucked up the ass, dear.  This is your plan.  What's next?"

"Why are you being so mean to me?" he whined.

"Because you chose a house without knowing a *thing* about the owner!"  She got up and headed up to the bar, handing over her fake id and card.  "All I want is a glass of wine before I kill him."  The man looked at her, then at the id.  "It's not my first and I'd prefer scotch, like my dad.  I'll take wine."  He snorted and got her some, handing over a glass.  "Thank you."  She took her cards back once he had run it, heading back to the table with it.  She sat down so she could relax.  "All right.  Have you decided on which way to go?"

"I don't know about any other targets."

"You've got two days, kid.  It's not going to get any easier.  And if they saw who I was, we're all fucked."  He shivered and nodded, seeming to curl up around his stomach.  "So, your choice."

"I want to do something else," he decided. "It'd be safer."

"Good idea.  Where?"

"Where did you get yours?"

"Napoleon's museum where he stashed church stuff."

"Oh."  He pouted, that didn't sound very exciting.  "Maybe we should check on the others?  Can we go back to the hotel?"

"We can," she agreed, gulping her wine.  "I needed that."  She stood up and walked him out, hand on his arm in case he decided to go off by himself to cause her more problems.  She noticed the people staring at them and glared back, pausing to talk to someone she sorta knew.  Her dad had introduced her once.  "Hi.  Should I give my father your respects?"

The older man looked down at her, then nodded once.  "School trip?"  She nodded.  "Very well then.  We won't kill you."  He looked at the boy.  "Either of you."

"That'd be a nice change," Arsene said as she appeared behind them.  "Hey, 'Lis. We're surrounded by idiots."

Melissa sighed.  "Okay.  I'm coming.  Thank you, sir.  He's *very* sorry."

"He's not the worst," Arsene said dryly.   She nodded at the hitters.  "Morning.  Having a bad day?"

"She shot one of us!" one of them said angrily.

"You were trying to blow my ass away!  Of course I did," Melissa reminded him.  "I don't want to die at my age!"  She rolled her eyes, looking at his boss.  "Did you hire him for a skill other than his brains?"

He laughed and nodded.  "Indeed.  My daughter likes him."  He caught her look.  "He's talented in other ways."

"Hopefully I can find one of those when I'm ready to settle down," Arsene said, leading the boy off.  "C'mon.  We're going to go back to the hotel.  He's *very* sorry he bothered you, sir."

"Make sure it doesn't happen again, Lupin."  He smiled at Melissa.  "Are you looking for a more calm and sane job?"

"No, I like Lupin.  I keep her sane and out of the worst trouble.  Otherwise we would be redecorating each and every job."  He laughed and she grinned as she walked off, heading after the others. "How bad?"

"Someone can plan how to break the three others out of jail and use them as their targets," Arsene offered bitterly.  "Lotus is throwing a fit."

"Good.  Which ones?"

"DeMarllion.  Hendricks.  Percival."

"Oh, shit," Melissa sighed.  "Two females?"  Arsene nodded. "They okay?"

"So far.  We'll see later on I guess."  She stopped and leaned against a building, looking around to make sure they were alone.  "They weren't even on a job.  They were out sightseeing.  They paid too much attention to a diplomat and they had them arrested on suspicion charges.  Ishi's casing it.  Lotus is dealing with the Headmistress since they were out without us and without our permission.  Oh, and Dad's not in town, but yours is."

"Oh, crap," she sighed. "He'll hear."

"Probably," Vecchio called down from above them.  "What did you do?"  He leaned out the window.

"Are you following us?" Arsene said in disgust.  "I don't like you that much, that's dad."  She looked at Melissa.  "Home base?"

"Home base," she agreed, taking off with the boy in tow.

Arsene looked up and flipped him off.  "It's a school assignment, thank you.  We're teaching."  She strolled off, heading to find a drink.  These kids were going to drive her nuts.  No wonder their parents drank so often.  "I'm never having kids," she complained as she walked.  "I was sure before but I'm going to cut that shit out so it can't happen."

"I can help you with that," a silky, deep male voice said from behind her.

She spun around and glared at the human who *dared* speak to her.  "What the fuck do you want?"

"A young woman such as yourself should never be out by herself," he said as he strolled closer.  "You could run into all sorts of things."

She snorted.  "Then maybe I should introduce myself.  I'm Lupin the Fourth."  He considered her, then burst out laughing.  "Think it's a funny name do we?"

"No.  You are *exactly* like your father."

"Yeah, well, some days he thinks I'm a female clone of him.  Anything else?  We're here on a school trip and I'm being driven insane by the other students.  I'm going for a drink."

"At your age?"

She sighed and looked up, sending a silent prayer.  Then she attacked him, going hand-to- hand until she got to the rake that was in the bushes nearby and then hit him a few times with it.  "Yes, at my age," she sneered, spitting on him.  "Go away.  I don't need men like you.  I only like men with taste, skill, and a big dick. You don't fit any of those."  She stomped off, going back to her hunt for a drink.  This weekend just got better and better.  Now she had to deal with Vecchio, with the assassin who had just tried for her, and the other students.  Fortunately she had pulled her job first.  All of them had and sent back their projects to the school.  Now if only she could ship off the others as easily.  She shrieked as someone grabbed her hair, turning to kill them for it.  He got her free of her gun but she was still very well trained.  By the time she was done, Vecchio was on the ground bleeding and moaning.  She picked up her gun and glared at him.  "With the day I've just had, I should shoot you in a horribly painful place.  Too bad Mom'll get pissed if I do that."  She pushed her fannypack around and pulled something out.  "Oh, well, guess I'll have to make due."  She glanced around before frisking him, then noticed someone coming toward them.  "Help!  He tried to attack me!" she yelled, backing away from him, zipping up her bag with his badge and gun in it.  "He's a bad man!" she called, acting like her age for a change.  A few men came running, including the assassin.  "He tried to grab me, I had to hurt him," she sniffled.  "He's a bad man!"

A cop came jogging over.  "What's wrong?"  He looked from Vecchio to the girl and back.  "What's going on?"

"He tried to grab me!" she shouted, stomping her foot.  "He's a bad man!"

"He's a detective," the cop noted.

"So he grabs me by the hair!"  She threw up her hands and stomped off.

"She's got my badge and gun," Vecchio admitted as the cop helped him up.  "That's Lupin the Fourth."

The cop looked stunned for a moment, then blew his whistle and ran after her, but she had disappeared.  He came back.  "It's all right, Inspector."

"It's not.  She's here on some sort of school trip."

The cop started to swear as he called that in.  "We're a target for the Academy this year.  Lupin the Fourth is in town."  He put up his radio and helped Ray to the boat coming toward them, getting him into it.  "He tried to handle Lupin the Fourth by himself," he said proudly.

"Poor thing," one of the other cops sighed, helping him to a bench seat.  They went back to the station, this needed to be reported to a higher authority.

***

"Ray tried to get me," Arsene announced as she walked in.  "The cop knew him so my 'he was trying to snatch me' routine didn't work."  She flopped down on the joint couch, looking around.  "That's it, we're doing this the Lupin way," she decided.  Lotus sat up and stared at her.  "Tough.  You," she said, pointing at the remaining female.  "Are you done?"  She shook her head.  "Target?"

"Statue from the Guggenheim."   She pulled out the pictures.  "It's about ten inches tall, on a table, and there's only a pressure plate for an alarm.  The guards are lax, tired, and not armed."  Melissa looked at them, then handed them off.  "Is that okay?"

"That's fine," Arsene agreed.  "But Vecchio told them who I was.  I heard him tell the second cop that I was Lupin the Fourth.  That means that the guards could pick up.  Ishi, go with her tomorrow, help her case the place."  He nodded.  "Lotus, I want the jail scoped out.  I want to have an idea.  Take Melissa with you if you have any doubt.  Melissa, I heard, nice job," she finished.  She stretched then stood up and took off her skirt.  One of boys whimpered.  "Yay.  Get over it.  Daddy and Mom said sixteen or there'll be a political marriage instantly."  They quieted and curled up in their seats.  "Thank you.  Boys, you got targets?"

"Yes, ma'am," Wyatt said quietly. "And I can share if I have to."

The other boy looked at him.  "I've got a good one."

"We need you to pull it off without notice," Melissa reminded him.  "Blowing up a statue is not unnoticeable."  She glanced at the door and coughed, nodding at it.

Arsene growled and pulled her gun out, walking over to yank open the door.  "Good, it's you."  She pulled him inside and slammed the door.  "Hey, Uncle Jigen, can you run interference?  We've got to do a few things very badly."  She sat down, taking the bowl of fruit Lotus handed over.  "Thanks.  Grapes?"  Ishi handed over his grapes so she sat there and snacked, considering.  "All right.  Wyatt, John.  You guys are going for the idiots.  Plan it with 'Lis and Lotus.  I don't care how you do it, but get the other students back.  You can use them as your project.  They definitely came from Venice," she said bitterly, eating another grape.  She looked at the female.  "Get yours tomorrow.  The town's too hot.  Ladies, get the boys and other girl out tomorrow afternoon if possible."

"The plans are available on the bulletin board," Jigen offered, sitting down beside his little girl.  "I heard. You okay?"

"I'm fine, daddy.  He was going to kill us."  She snuggled into his side.  "Where's Uncle Lupin?"

"Being a prick."  Arsene looked at him.  "He and Xander are having a bit of a spat about that upcoming apocalypse.  Xander'll have to go hide somewhere and pretend to be a normal.  He can't even call from what we've been told.  Lupin and I think it's a trick."

Arsene waved a hand.  "Kinda.  Yeah, he needs to get the mother's trust.  He needs to act like a normal.  That doesn't mean he can't take the odd weekend off until she delivers.  So said the talking heads."  She ate another grape.  "Did I remember to take pictures?"  Melissa shook her head, making Arsene groan.  "Fuck!"

"Language," Wyatt complained.  "I'm still an innocent."

"Not for much longer," Melissa assured him.  She looked up at her dad.  "Okay.  Are you being the monitor?"

"No, I'm going to be distracting the cops."

"Gramps is in town.  I tried to get away from Vecchio but the cop knew him so my 'he tried to grab me' didn't work," Arsene told him.  "It's like we were cursed or something."

"You should ask about that," Jigen said seriously.

"Oh, I'm going to," she assured him dryly.  She looked back as the doorknob rattled.  "I'm busy having sex, go away," she yelled in Arabic.  Someone on the other side giggled and they were left alone.   She looked at Jigen.  "Can you create that sort of distraction?"

"Sure," he agreed smugly.  "Not a problem.  Goemon's around here too."

"Even better," Melissa agreed.  "Are both Ray's here?"

"One's off duty.  Vecchio's visiting some distant family and Zenigata's not letting them out of his sight just in case Lavelle shows up."

"No!" Arsene said quickly, shaking her head.  "No, not Mom.  That'll become a panic."  Jigen nodded, shrugging lightly.  "Please.  Not that."

"Wasn't going to suggest it.  It's your show, I'm just a bit player this time."  He got comfortable.  "Ishi, if you've got some time, your dad wanted to see you again."

"You guys can come up when we get back," Melissa promised, grinning at him.  "You're sure you can play bait?"

"Yeah, as long as I don't have to wear a short skirt and heels."

"That's a bad image," Arsene told him.  She considered it and shuddered.  "Eww."

"Sorry.  I'll go.  Just remember, we'll be watching, kids."  He and the girls shared a look before he left.

"Good.  Okay."  Arsene looked at the other female.  "Get yours tonight.  Can you do that?"

"Probably.  It'd be easier, less people watching."  She stood up.  "Who's watching me?"

"I will," Ishi said.  "Just in case.  There's been too many people trying to kill us this year."  She nodded and they headed out together.

"Ishi, gun?" Arsene called.

"Got it covered.  Got the sword."  He locked the door behind them.

Arsene looked at Melissa.  "Get the plans for the jail.  I want them out as early as possible.  I'm tired of this job."  Melissa nodded and pulled out her laptop.

"Shouldn't we be doing that?" Wyatt asked.

"I'm a resource.  I'm getting you plans. You'll make the assault plan and we'll follow you," Melissa promised.  She glanced at Arsene.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.  It sucks, but yay."  Everyone nodded.  "Get to it, people.  I'll do mine on the way out of town as an extra diversion.  Lotus, you're taking the notes for them if possible, or tape it if not."  She nodded.  "Good.  Let me know if you need me as backup, or if you need Ishi."

"On it," Melissa reminded her.  They settled in to make their plans, letting Arsene plan her own second job.  Since she hadn't gotten the proof that her thing came from the town doing a second one would keep her from having to come back the next year.

Arsene got up and went to call the teacher who was listening for them.  "Hey," she said in greeting. "Not only is Gramps and his Rays here, but so's Uncle Jigen.  He's being a diversion.  Shit has hit the gondolier and he's a smelly bastard."  She listened.  "No, let's see.  We've ran into a hitter, who Melissa had to shoot.  We've run into Vecchio twice now inadvertently.  We've got three arrested students because they went off without a chaperone. No, they were staring at some diplomats apparently and someone thought they were odd and bad.  So we're going to use that as a few of the heists.  No, DeMarllion is one of them.  Idiot did it to himself probably.  Speaking of, did you get mine?  I didn't take pictures or anything."  She grimaced. "Not an issue.  Yeah, I can do that, just in case.  No, we're doing that tomorrow and heading home.  No, Vecchio told them who I was.  I gave the kids that rule when we got here.  They're listening so far.  Yeah, that's fine. Just checking in."  She hung up and strode back out, taking the rest of the grapes to nibble on.  "Okay, we're cleared with the school.  Include the change of plans in your reports.  I want someone to know what really happened."  They all nodded so she went to the bathroom.  "I'm showering.  Don't flush."  She shut the door and went to relax.  She needed some hot water pounding her back.  This had been a horrible day.

***

Arsene walked through the gathering, her camera pin was taping everything from the lapel of her red bolero jacket.  Her dress was a simple, classical black dress and her stockings and shoes were nice, yet practical.  She smiled as she grabbed some punch from the passing waiter, nodding politely at him when he looked shocked.  "My parents are here."  He nodded and went on.  She walked off, going to find something good here.  It wasn't her favorite idea but she could prove it and that's what was important on this assignment. She saw a few pretty pieces of jewelry, heading for one old, loud, gauche matron who wasn't really liked by a lot of people with the way she had a circle of non-interference around her position.  "Hello," she said in excellent French.  "I'm Lisette.  I'm here to observe how to do the job."  She held out a hand.  "Are you a diplomat yourself or an Under-Minister?"

"You think highly of me," the woman said, looking her over.  "Which group is yours?"

Arsene looked around and pointed at someone she knew something about.  "One of his assistants is my father.  I find the job fascinating and I'm hoping for a diplomatic post myself some day, so he let me come as long as I was relatively discreet."

"Ah."  She looked the girl over again.  "Well, you're obviously of good breeding and have some taste.  At the very least you'll make a good diplomatic wife."

Arsene grinned.  "Why would I want a man to be a stepping stool?  All they're good for is being a back to step on at my age."  She sipped her punch.  "Are there any other hopefuls here?"

"Not many," she said dryly.  "Most of them went on the sight seeing trip."  Arsene shuddered.  "You didn't want to go?"

"I don't particularly like water and small crafts give me the willies."

"Ah."  She smiled more.  Now she had something on this one.  Arsene liked this one, she was a good target.  "I'm Gladys Pretrovich."

"The Greek ambassador's special friend?"  The woman looked stunned.  "I did do a bit of studying before I showed up.  I heard he had brought you because you were quite savvy and able to see through most of these petty games that they like to play to get one over on the others."  She took another sip of her punch.  "I don't blame him.  Sometimes you've got to be able to see deeper than the polite society face."

"I like you," she decided.  "Who are you really?  His assistants are all female, young lady."

She smirked.  "I'm here on a school assignment."

"Hmm.  Which one?"

"The Assassin's Academy.  I'm Lupin the Fourth."  She finished her punch.  "School assignments suck."

"That is very true," she agreed.  She looked around and pointed at one woman.  "She'd make a wonderful target."

"I wouldn't want to curse the others when her baby causes a mood swing," Arsene sighed.  "Otherwise I'd gladly do it.  Of course, we've got to send things back this time."

"Hmm.  Then go to the woman with the big nose.  Tell her you're Domini's niece.  She's got many of them.  You'll find something," she said smugly.

"Thank you.  I hope to see you at other social events in the future."  She shook her hand and walked off, heading to the woman who had been pointed out to her.  She was wearing some stunning pieces.  One of them nearly made her drool.  It was a waist chain of rubies.  It went wonderfully against her gown, but against Arsene's own it would be even better. She smiled and nodded politely at the woman.  "It was suggested that I come give my regards to the queen of the fete.  I'm one of Domini's nieces, Lisette."  The woman hugged her.  "Thank you, my lady."  She pulled back and smiled at her, glancing around.  Oops, a cop.  She looked up.  "I should probably make a discreet exit soon.  I'm the only young woman here."

"You are, but you are quite the consort in training."  She stroked the girl's face.  "Yes, you will do wonderfully in the life.  You have taste, you have class.  You show signs of good breeding and you're intelligent.  You even speak like you were trained at some of the finest academies."

"I was," she admitted. "Though, my mother was the one who trained most of my skills.  She's doing the same job without the formal training."

"Good.  That is how it should be."  She looked around.  "What is that odious commoner doing here?"

"He's being mean.  Should I lead him off?"

"Please, dear.  I look forward to seeing you later."  She kissed her on the cheek, then patted her on the back.  "Do have a good day, dear."

"Thank you, ma'am.  I plan on it."  She walked off, not showing anything out of the ordinary.  She noticed a hint of chain was peeking out and tucked it back into her skirt's waistband, acting like it was one of those stupid hanging straps. She smoothed down her skirt again and headed out past the cop, smiling brightly at him.  "Hi."  He looked watched her for a moment before following her.  She disappeared, heading to where the others should be waiting.  She smiled as the car pulled up beside her, getting inside.  Ishi took off again, smoothly heading up one of the few roads out of town.  "Are we all here?"

"Melissa has the others in another car.  They left before us."  He tooted as he drove past where Goemon was sitting, waving at him through the window.  He sped up as they found a road heading back in-country.  "The plans went according to the guy's plans. We're all doing good. All we have to do is get out of town and we're fine."

"Which means we'll hit a roadblock," Lotus said from the back seat.

"If we do, I'm killing them.  I want a damn good soak."  Arsene sank down some and pulled the pretty waist chain to show off.  "Ah, pretty."  She stuffed it into the pocket sewn on the inside of her skirt, right above the top of her stockings.  "Speed up, Ishi.  I feel nasty."

"Sure, Arsene.  Tell me if we need to stop for supplies or anything."

"Just go faster."

"Of course," he agreed dryly.  They hit the highway and he sped up.  He wanted her Majesty, the Queen of PMS, back to her deep bathtub and hot water as soon as possible.  It'd save his sanity because his sister wasn't that nice either.  It was definitely not the time to be a guy in this group.  He'd have to help them find a way to stop those nasty things.

***

Melissa shoved her students into the meeting room, shaking her head.  "The others are right behind us.  We weren't followed.  I shot out Vecchio's tires."  She gave them another shove.  "Two of the students have much to present.  The other's with the others. You did get our stuff, right?"  The Headmistress nodded, giving her a dry look.  "It wasn't our fault.  They snuck off, they stared at the diplomats. They got arrested and things went to hell from there."  She found a seat and pulled it over, sitting down.  "Go ahead, Wyatt.  You and John have a good one to give them."  She glared at DeMarllion.  This was mostly his fault.

Wyatt walked forward and presented his notebook.  "Here, Headmistress.  These are our notes of this weekend."  He took two steps back.  "There was a complication to our orderly plans but with Arsene's and Melissa's help we were able to make new ones and get new targets.  As you can see, our fellow students were definitely part of Venice when we had to take them back.  We came here directly from the jail.  Our plans worked very well.  I got the females free while the other was gotten by my compatriot.  We did use others as diversions, namely Melissa's father and Arsene.  We had many complications during the time.  I personally hope to never have anything like that again.  Not only were there ICPO Inspectors.  There was a Police Convention at the same time as the fandom convention and the diplomatic summit."  He cleared his throat. "We did use resources that may not have been allowed, including Melissa and her wonderful bulletin boards."

Melissa sighed.  "We had to get the plans for the jail off the Bulletin Boards.  I oversaw their plans but let them do the majority of it.  Lotus, Ishi, and I acted as backup when they went in.  Ishi and I ended up helping a few times but it was either us helping or them staying there."

"It was an extreme circumstance," the Headmistress agreed.  "I saw your ideas for the weekend and they were indeed the best choice.  They left each student free enough to do their work but with the oversight available in case something happened."  Melissa clamped a hand over her mouth and ran off to get sick.  "What happened?"

John cleared his throat.  "My original target was a home invasion, as you know.  I chose a...bad target to put it mildly.  I chose a hitter's house, ma'am."  He looked down at his feet.  "I was dumb not to do more searches on my target and she ended up having to shoot someone to save myself and her.  Then she yelled at me and had a glass of wine."  He looked up at her.  "I was an idiot and I fully admit that my problems did not help matters any.  Fortunately Melissa and Arsene met with the hitter's boss and he understood the assignment's nature.  He said he held no onus against us for me being stupid."

"Good," she agreed calmly.  She looked at the marksmanship teacher.  "Go to the girl."

"I will. I'm letting her heave for a bit first.  She'll have to work through it."

"She's gentle," Wyatt protested.  He looked back as the door opened and Arsene walked in. "Melissa couldn't hold it in anymore.  She's puking."

Arsene tossed over her camera and the waist chain, then went to comfort her sister, but found Ishi had already beaten her there.  She sat on Melissa's other side, hugging her too.  "You had to do it, 'Lis," she whispered gently.  "There wasn't a choice.  You did what you had to do and you saved you both.  That's what's important."  She looked at Ishi.  "We had this same talk with you."

"You did," he agreed. He gave her another hug.  "You did good, Melissa and I'm proud of how well you did.  You protected yourself, that's all that matters to us. That we didn't lose you."

"I still shot him.  I killed him."

"No, you severely injured him," Arsene admitted.  "Trust me, sis.  He's not dead.  He's complaining a bit too much to be dead.  Your dad said so when I called him to tell him we were free of Venice earlier."  Melissa nodded, wiping off her face.  "Now, can we go back to our presentation and root for it when the Headmistress kicks those three idiots in the ass?"

"Sure."  She let Arsene and Ishi help her up and back to the meeting area.  She nodded politely.  "Sorry.  Reaction."

"It's all right," the marksmanship teacher assured her.  "We *all* got sick after the first time.  I got sick for the first ten or so.  It's normal.  It means you're keeping your humanity.  Good job, you protected yourself and your team.  I give you high marks for that.  You've learned what I could teach you."  She nodded, sitting down again.

The headmistress coughed.  "Enough.  We'll get to their presentations soon enough."  She looked at the three again.  "Did you get a chance to do your own jobs?"

"They wouldn't let us go back," DeMarllion complained, pointing at Ishi.  "He said we were leaving and we had to go or be left behind."

"I wasn't going to stick around in a city full of cops who want to hunt my ass down and hurt me," Arsene said dryly. "Gramps and his Rays were bad enough but there were over fifteen hundred extra cops in town for the ICPO convention.  All of them with my cute little face on a wanted poster and nine warrants to get me on."

"Nine?" Ishi asked.

"Yeah, um, I had a job I fucked up on a few months back.  I forgot a camera," Arsene admitted bitterly.  "Vecchio seriously needs to pull the thong out of his butt crack."

The Headmistress nodded once.  "I've had days like that," she admitted.  "Apparently you've had a full weekend.  Arsene, what is this?"

"The Doge's mistress's waist chain from the event today.  I was being an extra diversion, outside of Jigen Senior and Goemon Sr.  I think you'll like the tape.  The Greek Ambassador's woman is *really* good.  She saw through my act, got me to go bug her target, and laughed while I did it.  She was pretty cool.  She had me pretending to be one of the top courtesan's protégé's."

"You'd do well in that role.  Especially in that outfit.  It's very pretty," the marksmanship professor assured her.

"Thank you, sir.  Um, I kinda need to change.  I'm having one of those *girl* days."

"Go," the Headmistress agreed.  "We'll watch your tape later and let you make your report."  Arsene nodded and jogged off, her shoes clicking on the stone floors.   She turned her glare on the others.  "Ishi, Lotus, Melissa, Wyatt, John, and Tara, you may wait in the halls for your turns."  They nodded, heading out to eavesdrop.  She looked at the herbology teacher, who set up a shield on the door, smirking at the groans.  "Thank you."  She glared at the boys.  "You knew you were not to leave your monitor's possession.  That you were not to go off on your own without telling them where you were going and what you were going to do.  Those rules were set down for your safety."  Someone pounded on the door and she smirked.  "Good.  It sounds like the parents are here.  Let them in."

***

Lupin looked up as Jigen walked into her room.  "Did they have to sneak you in?"

"No," he said with a smirk.  "But your dad is downstairs."  He gave her a hug.  "I'm damn proud.  You did good with bad circumstances.  You pulled a plan out of your ass with no forethought, and you got your team out.  You also managed to intrigue one of the top assassins in the Mediterranean.  You even managed to piss off Vecchio worse than usual.  You do the family name proud, kid."

"I also managed to have another vision of the apocalypse.  He needs to protect her but he can't go as a normal person or we'll have to do an emergency-save the day that you're due to be killed with Daddy."

He paused, then nodded once.  "Discuss that with him, baby girl."

"I have.  He agreed.  We made different plans for that incident and he's helping Dawn with her custody thing."  She stood up and gave him another hug.  "We need to celebrate."

"That's why we're here."  He smirked and led her out, taking her down to the main hall.  "Here she is, Lupin."

"I don't know why I'm not allowed up there.  It's not like I'd hit on the girls up there."  He hugged his baby.  "I'm so damn proud.  You blow my mind, empress."

"Thanks, daddy.  Did you congratulate Melissa on holding it together until we got back here?"

"I did," he promised, kissing her on the top of the head.  "Oooh!  I miss you.  Let's go to dinner."

"Sure," Ishi agreed, smirking at his father.  "We passed with distinction.  Even Wyatt passed with distinction.  They did a good job with the jail break."

"Good," Lupin agreed happily.  "C'mon, I'm hungry."  They piled out, going out to the car.  "Yes, I got a limo.  That way we could all go."

"Fred and the kids?"

"Bix," Lupin said smugly.

"Daddy Xander?" Melissa asked.

"Pissing off the cops."

"He's not coming?" Ishi asked.

"Later."  Lupin got them inside then slid in after them, finding the kids had guns.  "Um...."

"Nice try, Uncle Ray, but you don't do a good Daddy," Arsene said with a smirk. "The real ones?"

"On their way here but Zenigata is after them," he said, slumping down some.  The other cops gave up too.  "What gave it away?"

"You didn't slap Melissa on the ass," Lotus told him.

"You didn't check out the girls in miniskirts," Melissa offered.

"Daddy says 'empress' in a more special tone," Arsene told him.

"Daddy would have hugged me too," Ishi pointed out.

"Lupin's in France with Fred, who's got chicken pox," Jigen put in.  He smirked at him.  "Though, Lavelle has already dealt with Gramps and Vecchio.  Something about an auction...."  He grinned unrepentantly.  "Surprise."

"Shit!" Kowalski groaned, taking off his disguise.  "It took us months to find this place."

"Good."  Arsene opened the door and got out, leaning on the hood of the limo.  "Hey," she called to one of the guards. "They're cops.  Did you want them?"  He whimpered, then put out a desperate call for backup.  Other guards came running.  "Leave the Ray and Daddy Jigen," she ordered.  "We'll make the Ray really sorry."

The Headmistress came out and took Ray.  "We won't hurt this one.  Lavelle called us earlier," she said with a grin.  "Unfortunately our last one wanted to leave a bit too much.  We've agreed that any of these three would be *excellent* to prove your points, Arsene.  Good job."  She walked him off, talking quietly to him.  He looked back but she walked him on.

Arsene got back in with a smirk for the other kids, holding up the wallet.  "So, where should we go?"

Jigen took it.  "Out to dinner.  Yo, let's go," he called to the driver.  The limo pulled away and they headed off campus for a celebration dinner, Lupin style.

***

Lavelle walked up to the woman he was supposed to be guarding, handing her a flower before sitting across from her at the table.  "Hey.  I was sent to guard you and the baby."  She dropped the flower, staring at him.  "Someone wants to hurt you and the baby.  They're going to try to pull an 'it's unholy' deal and kill you both.  The baby's important and someone else sent me.  How would you like to play this?"

She stroked her stomach.  "What's going on?"

"Your baby is a small matter of prophecy.  It's going to be a force for good, mostly.  It'll be a warrior for chaos at times too.  It'll be helping my baby daughter eventually.  That's enough to make me want to protect you, even if I hadn't been asked."  She nodded slowly.  "I know," he admitted with a grin, "it sounds insane."  She nodded quickly.  "Let's put it to the test.  Have you been kicked out of church yet?"  She scowled and nodded.  "Then there's something wrong.  Do you remember how you got pregnant?"

"No," she said quietly.  "I thought I got drugged while out drinking one night."

"It's possible, but I doubt it."  He grinned.  "We can even do a DNA test.  I know what it'll show.  So, if you want, I can set you up in a nice place, pay the bills, and protect you wonderfully. Then you can start over once you've delivered and recovered.  You could even go international if you wanted."

She shook her head.  "All my family's here."

He nodded.  "I understand that.  So I can offer a different solution.  There's some people who're friends of friends.  One's who kinda need some help too.  I can help you both by setting you with her.  It's not that far away," he promised. "But it'll keep you away from that cult up the road.  It'll help her because she can watch you for a while.  It'll also allow us to protect the most precious resource you carry."

"Where would I be?"

"Utah?"

"That's still far away."

"A few day's," he agreed, still grinning.  "Or we could move you together.  I'd have to get her from Utah but I don't think you'd mind her too much.  She's got animals.  She's pretty nice.  She's got a shitty job at the moment."

"Who are you?" she asked.  "All your message said was that I had to meet you over the baby."  He took off his ball cap, letting his hair free and she gasped.  Only one person had hair that color.  "You're that thief."  He nodded, looking calm.  "Why me?"

"The baby," he said honestly.  "I've been ordered to protect the baby, make sure it gets born and baptized within three days of birth.  Frankly, I'm the best trained there is with knowledge of what pregnancy is like."  He grinned.  "Wanna see pictures of the kids?"

"No, that's okay."  She looked at him, licking her lips.  "This is wrong."

He put back on his hat, then touched her hand.  "The baby has to be protected.  One way or another, we'll have to protect you.  At least this way you'll have a better way of doing that.  I'm not going to hit on you.  I'm not going to be taking the child from you.  I'm not going to do more than set you up somewhere protective.  I figured you'd rather have the truth than have me hired on at the crappy job you've got and starting something with you undercover."  She shuddered and shook her head.  "See?  Honestly isn't always comfy but it's usually a better policy."

"How would you know?" a familiar voice said from behind him.  "That's not really your forte, boy."

"Because, Gramps, this is Janus' last child."  He looked back at him.  "I was sent to protect her and the baby.  Otherwise people are going to kill him and he'll have to do something about it, like with your wife."  He looked at her again, smirking.  "Up to you.  I won't do more than protect you from afar.  I'm not bringing any of my hauls near you, I'm not involving you in the life.  You can tell your family that you're accepting a job offer out of town if you want."  He could feel the glaring and glared back.  "What?  I'm doing what I'm supposed to!"

"You're still a wanted thief."

"Yay.  I'm also one of the few people who knows where Kowalski is."  He looked at her again, then winked.  "Small problem with his group, especially since we're not wanted for the rest of this year.  On his suggestion I might add," he added with a smirk and a smug wink for her.  "So, can I get someone to help you pack your things?"

"This is all really sudden."

"Hey, all you have to do is hide and be a pregnant woman.  For that I'll make sure you're well taken care of and that you've got a good nest egg to start over with the baby.  How's twenty grand sound to you?"  Her jaw dropped and he shrugged.  "Before I did this, I worked the crappy job circuit.  I remember how much it costs to move and start over.  I also remember what it was like to find a semi-decent job and work long hours at it but not get anywhere because of it.  It'd be up to you exclusively.  You could decide what you wanted to do with it. I'd be the child's protector when things started to go wrong again."

"He'll be in trouble?"

"On and off," he admitted.  "His father's Janus.  He's got to have some problems.  It'll probably be minor, like bullies and things," he offered.  She nodded.  "It won't get any easier the other way.  It'll get harder. And hey, I'm not asking for anything other than you to get yourself somewhere safe and lounge around.  You can have all the contact you want with your family.  The next time you'll see me is at the birth if you accept.  It doesn't even matter what you baptize him, as long as he is."

She looked up at the cop.  "He's serious?"

"Unfortunately," he agreed.  "My wife got asked to intervene as well but she didn't know how best to do it."

"And this other woman?"

"Is a fic writer," he said with a grin.  "You'll like her.  You already know her."  She blinked a few times and he giggled.  "I'm a fancon whore."

"Oh.  Okay."  She looked at her hands, then up at him.  "No funny stuff?"

"Hell no.  I know what being pregnant was like.  I'd never do that to one of us."  He stood up.  "C'mon.  I've got movers coming so you've got to gather the cats."

"Were you going to kidnap me?"

"Yeah," he said honestly.  "Because someone's coming this weekend to hunt you down and kill you both.  So I'm saving you until you're moved."  He walked her on, taking her back to her rental trailer, summoning in the moving people once she had her cats gathered.   They were quickly whisked off into his version of the witness protection program.

***

Lavelle wandered into the convenience store, nodding at the woman behind the counter as he headed back to the cold cases.  He found a decent flavor of Boone's Farm and brought it back, having to wait in line behind the guy already at the register.  He noticed the fidgety gestures and mentally groaned.  Not tonight!  The guy tried his crap with a fake gun and he had to laugh.  "No, dear, guns are much heavier than that piece of plastic," he assured him, putting down his bottle to pull his own gun out.  "See, they're also usually shinier.  Now, if I'm going for a matte finish, I use this one," he noted, pulling that one.  He cocked it and rested it against the idiot's temple, making him piss himself.  "Now then," he said with a smirk.  "Do you know me?"  He shook his head quickly so Xander took off the hat he was wearing, letting down his pretty silver hair.  The crook still looked clueless but the woman behind the counter squealed.

"You're fucking Lavelle!"

He grinned and nodded.  "Sure am."  He looked at the boy again.  "As in the world famous gunman and thief, yes," he said dryly.  "You're bothering me.  This store is protected while she's here.  Get over it and go away, before I have to toast your ass.  It'll be a funny funeral I'm sure."  The guy ran out, heading right into the turning cop car.  He put his guns away and leaned on the counter, grinning at her.  "All packed?"

"Why would I be?"

"Because I've got a job for you.  I've got someone who needs a companion to watch out for her while she's pregnant. You were suggested.  You stay with her in a house with all utilities paid in the Midwest and you get a twenty grand nestegg. You can bring any and all pets if you want."  Her mouth opened as the cop walked in.  "He tried to rob this nice young lady," he told the cop, who took one look at him and backed out quickly.  "C'mon.  Let's go."

"I can't just leave!"

"Bullshit.  Call your manager.  I walked out *many* times when I had this sort of job back in Sunnydale."

"How did you know who I am?"

"Misty told me."  She groaned and slapped herself on the head.  "She's a fic writer too. You'll get along well.  Hurry up before he decides to find his balls."  She called her supervisor and then headed out with him, taking the back door so she could get her coat and things.  That way the poor cop wouldn't have to piss himself again.  He walked her off into the night, letting her get her things and her pets, then he drove her to the nice place she'd be staying.  He let her out and helped her carry stuff inside, then grinned and left, heading back to Lupin's side.  The watcher in town was going to do just fine.  He dumped the rental car and decided to teleport back, landing in the foyer of the main house.  It was very quiet so he checked his watch.  "Hey, nap time," he said happily, heading to the kitchen.  The office was on the way and the others were in there.  "Done," he called as he walked past the doorway.

"Get in here," Lupin called.

Xander backtracked and walked in.  "Both targets are together and safe.  Janus's last kid will be safe and there's someone in town watching them for me.  I even got to torment Gramps."

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  "We still haven't seen you in weeks."

"Let me get some soda and I'll be right back."  He headed into the kitchen, getting himself a drink of soda before heading back into the office.  He found a good seat to lounge in and got comfortable, letting his jacket hang over the back of the chair. "New plans?"

"Not yet," Lupin admitted.  "Comfy?"

"Much."  He sipped his soda.  "Why?"

"Just checking."  Lupin looked at him and grinned. "So, how was the Tower this year?"

"That's next month."  Lupin held up a newspaper and Xander snatched it, reading it.  "That's so unfair!  But hey, at least Zenigata was honest and said I had been in the States that day.  Wonder who that is."  He tossed it back, getting comfy again.  "Who'd impersonate me?  Besides Marcus now and then."

"We're not sure," Lupin admitted.  "The problem is, he's got you down to a 't'.  Even how you brag and swagger sometimes."

"Down to the whorehouse," Jigen agreed.  "Some of the girls knew it wasn't you by the way."

"That's cool.  I knew I was unforgettable."  He grinned at them.  "It still wasn't me."

"This could be a problem, Xander," Lupin pointed out.

"Then I'll call the person out. Unless Ethan made a clone of me, there shouldn't continue to be a problem."  He took another drink.  "I'll call around tonight to see who this person is.  One of my people should have a clue."

"Bastian said he was a street hood trying to get your rep to make it easier and sweeter on him," Jigen offered.

"Huh.  Cool.  I'll call him in a bit."  He finished his soda.  "Anything else on the plans, outside of the kids' lessons?"

"Fred's got an ear infection and Sarah's helping him pout.  Alex has gotten the gun lessons and she's doing wonderfully with them," Lupin told him.  "Marcus went over crossbows with her."

"So, basically I'm not needed?" he asked bitterly.

"No, we need you," Jigen protested.  "We just thought you'd like to pick which convention to go to next.  There's four coming up soon."

"I've got stuff in to all of them," Xander pointed out. "We can go to any of them."

"I was going to treat since we haven't gone to one together for a while," Lupin offered.

"Okay.  Paris is next but there's almost no one there that we'd know.  I went last year and not even Misty and Teddy were there."

"Really?  Why?" Jigen asked.

"Teddy was busy, he had to work out of the country.  He was there at Germany.  Paul and the guys were there but no one else that I remembered."  He finished his soda and put the glass down.  "So I'm open.  The best chance we have to get most of the old gang back together is Italy.  We need to go talk to Ray K anyway.  Gramps is getting antsy and Vecchio is growling more often.   We need to find a way to make sure he can't tell things."

"Can't you block it like you did to Dawn?" Jigen asked.

"Ray's immune.  I tried that once before and the first thing he did was to go tell Gramps.  Chemical?"

"There's a chance that it'll work, but not much of one," Lupin offered.  "It's not foolproof."

"Well, that's an idea at least," Lupin offered as she walked in the door.  "We're back," she said with a smirk.  She gave an extra wink to her uncle because they had talked earlier that day.  "And we brought a guest because he was pining over Bix."

"Good.  How much does he know?"

"He doesn't remember the way up there, just that it's in Italy and that it's way up a mountain."  She sat on Lavelle's lap, giving him a grin.  "And we bring grades," she announced, handing over her report card.  "We're going back next year."

Lupin grinned at his baby girl. "Of course you are.  You're not sixteen yet."  He flipped it open and squealed, getting up to hug her.  "I'm so proud!  All A's!" he praised.

Xander hugged her.  "Congrats, daughter.  Much better than I ever did."  He grinned at her when she looked back.  "The others?"

"Are putting up their crap."

"I want those report cards!" Xander yelled.

Arsene wiggled a finger in her ears.  "Ow, Mom!  I needed the hearing in that side!"

Melissa walked in with three report cards on a silver tray.  "Here.  Ishi's collapsed.  He drove back and we made it in a day.  He's found a new girl who's presently letting him sniff her."  She grinned at her daddy.  "Hi."

"Hand it over," he demanded, holding out a hand.  She held out the tray, letting him pick up hers.  He opened it and then nodded, smirking at her.  "Straight A's and good remarks with a wonderful report from the Marksmanship teacher.  I'm impressed, daughter."  He pulled her over to kiss and hug her.  "I'm damn proud of you," he whispered.  She winked at him.  "Anything else new?"

"Yeah, I've got a secret admirer.  We're meeting next month at the Italian conference.  By the way, we got to take off a week early because the others were waiting for their exams.  We all passed everything well enough to be excused but one class for Ishi, math.  He took that yesterday so we could leave early.  The teacher graded it specially."  She smiled at Goemon as he came in, presenting the tray.  "For you, Uncle G.  Report cards."

"You're a week early."

"We only had one final for the whole group and Ishi took his math final early so we could come back and bring Ray.  He's presently hugging Bix in the garden."

"I saw."  He opened them and smiled.  "Lotus got B's in everything but herbology and Physical Education.  Ishi got all but one A, that was in Math, which he was struggling with.  I am very impressed.  Where might my children be?"

"Ishi's napping.  He refused to let anyone drive."  Arsene held out hers.  "Here."  Goemon took hers and then smiled when he read the remarks.  "Melissa did even better."

Melissa handed hers over.  "I've been doing much better and the range teacher was very impressed.  We're going back next year."

Goemon looked at her and nodded.  "I can agree to that.  Both children did wonderfully and seemed to enjoy their time there."  He patted her on the head.  "I'm proud of both of you.  Very well done."  He handed the report cards back and headed off to find his children.  "Lotus."  She grinned at him so he hugged her.  "I'm very proud.  You did very well."

"Thank you, daddy.  Ishi's already snoring."  She smirked up at him.  "Did you see the remarks?"

"I did and I'm very impressed.  You are definitely my daughter."

"Thank you, daddy."  She gave him a squeeze.  "We're working on something for Uncle Ray so he doesn't have to go back."  She winked and walked off, going for a snack.  Ishi hadn't wanted to stop for anything.  She made extra and walked a tray outside, coughing to break up the hug.  "Food?"

"Thanks, Lotus."  He sat down, looking at her.  "I won't tell," he promised.

"I'm not the one who's worried or who'll shoot us if you do."  He hung his head.  "She said you could go as long as you could not tell.  Not wouldn't tell, couldn't.  I'm working on something herbal but I can't promise yet.  I'm not letting Ishi be shot for that.  I can't."

"I understand," he agreed.

"But, for now, you can stay here," Lupin said from the doorway, leaning against the door frame with his trademark smirk.  "We'll protect you for now.  Then again, this will make you a bigger target."

Ray shook his head.  "I'm still a cop."

"I wasn't going to change your mind about that," Lupin promised, walking out to sit by him.  "We'll figure it out so you can go back to work.  Otherwise you might steal Xander from me," he said smugly.  "I'd like to get it before the convention in Italy, Lotus.  Doable?"

"Possibly.  We're combing the herbal legends for something.  We're working on it."

"Dad, should I send a message saying he's safe?" Melissa called from the kitchen.  "I'm making lemonade."

"Bring some out please, Melissa," Bix called.

"Sure."  She brought out the pitcher.  "Mix I'm afraid.  I haven't been home long enough to squeeze twenty lemons and pound the sugar myself."

Ray chuckled and held up his glass, letting her refill it.  "Thanks.  Is someone telling the others I'm free?"

"Yeah, Lavelle and Arsene went to do that," Lupin admitted.   "Hopefully Vecchio's slept sometime recently.  He's not been doing a lot of that recently.  I trust you," he assured him, "but I'm not losing my daughter for you."

"No, I understand," Ray admitted.  "I get it and I agree.  I wouldn't take that chance either.  I'm a cop.   I might be forced to tell or even have it slip out accidentally.  I don't blame you."

"Thanks."  He stood up and went to went back to his study, going to talk to Jigen.

***

Lavelle and Arsene walked up to the front of the building that was holding Zenigata's family and his unit.  He rang the bell, leaning causally against the screen door.  "Hey.  I bring a message from Ray."

Vecchio came down the stairs and pulled his gun.  "Get your asses in here."

"Chill, Vecchio.  He's safe."  Arsene boldly walked inside and looked up at him.  "He's safe.  They said as long as we could make sure he couldn't tell where the school was he could come back.  So we're working on blocking that particular information but nothing else.  There's a few of my classmates you guys'll be dealing with in the next decade."  He growled and she shrugged.  "He's safe.  He's with Bix right now and we're watching him until Lotus can figure that part out."

Lavelle walked inside and put his hands on his daughter's shoulders.  "He is.  They brought him back when they came home.  He's safe, he's well.  We're bringing him to Italy with us and hopefully by then we can release him into your custody.  They weren't mean to him. He looks like he's gained a few pounds actually."

"I want to see that for myself," Zenigata demanded from the top of the stairs.

Lavelle pulled out his phone and tossed it to him.  "So call the boss, have him put him on the phone.  You can see him in Italy, but if he's not had that blocked then we can't let him go.  They'll kill the kids if he tells where the school is."

Zenigata nodded, that made sense.  "He's really fine?"

"Call him," Arsene encouraged.  "He's probably speed dial 2?"

"Yeah, on that phone one is always voicemail."  He waited while Zenigata hit that key.

"Crook, put my boy on."   Vecchio jogged up the stairs to listen too.  "Are you all right?"  He relaxed, nodding and looking down at them.  "Are you sure?"

Vecchio took the phone.  "Don't be an asshole, Kowalski."  He heard the quiet explanation and nodded.  "Thank you but it's still dumb.  Yeah, fine."  He hung up and looked down at them.  "He's safe?"  The phone beeped and he looked at it.  "New picture?"

"Open it, press send," Lavelle instructed.  They did and both of them sighed at the picture that came across.  Ray was healthy looking and happy, plus he was waving at them.  "So we'll let him and Bix take long walks while Goemon glares at him and the kids pump him for convention stories."  They glared at him.  "Not our choice," he reminded them.  "If I could block him like I did Dawn, I'd do that.  He's unfortunately immune.  Can I have my phone back?"

"The correct phrase is 'may I'," Dawn said as she joined them.  She looked at the picture, then at them.  "Lupin's study?"  They nodded.  "He's free?"

"Sorta," Arsene offered.  "We have to make sure he can't tell where the school is or else they'll kill us," she said earnestly.  "We're working on it."

"He's immune to what we did to you," Xander told her.  "It's making it difficult."

She nodded.  "Bring me to him, maybe I can help."

"You can't go there!" Zenigata said harshly.

"I've been there before," she reminded him, kissing him on the cheek.  "I trained there, remember?"

"No," Lavelle said, looking up at her.  "If you think you can help, you email Lotus.  Lupin said no visitors to the house."  His phone rang.  "I'd answer that.  It might be about the custody thingy."  He looked at Dawn again. "She filed yesterday.  Her new husband is the push behind it.  Her ex is long gone.  He died a few years ago."

She sighed and answered the phone.  "Lavelle's house of sluts."  She listened.  "Yeah, I know him.  Why?"  She grimaced, then growled. "Fine.  We'll be there.  Why, yes, this is.  How kind of you to realize that.  Don't worry, we'll be having a *long* talk as soon as I get back there."  She hung up and tossed it back.  "We'll be having a meeting so we can see Ray ourselves.  We'll have to discuss this in detail and I'd like to see him."

"Sure, but we'll still have to figure out how to guardian that information."

"We were planning on the convention in Italy," Arsene offered. "That's in a month's time.  Do we have it?"

Dawn nodded.  "Yeah, the date for the custody hearing is in four months."  She stomped off.

"Lupin and I agree, we're supporting you on this," he called after her.  "Your sister's toast."  He looked up at Zenigata, giving a little shrug.  "We think you're much better for the boys.  Also, expect a short visit later."  He walked his daughter out, taking her back to his sports car of the moment.  He sped off once they were inside, letting her drive.  "Nice job," he told her.

"Are you ready to piss yourself?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Yup, sure am."

"There's a burger place.  Pull in, we'll get milkshakes."  She chuckled and pulled in there, hurrying into the bathroom before he could even get the door open.  It was understandable.  Those were some scary cops.  He went to the bathroom then treated her this time.  She deserved it.

***

Lupin tapped on the door late that night, giving Vecchio a smug look.  "We need ta talk about Morgan.  Where's Pops?"

"Morgan's upstairs."

"Really?  Where was he earlier today?"  They stared each other down and Vecchio broke, going to get the father.  This was apparently something important for Lupin to drive all this way.  "Him."

"What do you want?"

"We gotta talk about Morgan, Pops.  Got somewhere quiet?"

"Yes, this way," he ground out.  He led him to his study and locked them inside.  "What about Morgan?"

Lupin pulled out a security camera photo and handed it over.  "I was going to offer to train him, that way he has a better chance of surviving."  Zenigata sat down, staring at his son being taken by the security guards.  "It's not his first time.  Lotus let slip that he had been thinking and dancing on the line."

"That laptop?" he asked coolly.  Lupin nodded.  "How long ago?"

"Nearly a year ago.  He's stuck to minor shoplifting but he's got Dawn's skills."  He sat down, crossing his feet.  "I'll leave this up to you but I will take him on as a trainee if he seriously wants to go that way.  That way you don't have to worry about killing him some day.  We'd get him a second's position if I'm any judge of character."

Zenigata glared at him.  "You've known for how long?"

"Before that school job.  Lotus told us at a parent/teacher night at the Academy.  She didn't want him to be hurt.  She likes him a lot but she knows that he's not into the life.  She knows that it won't work out so she's trying to protect him from himself.  She brought it to me so I could either tell you or I could offer to train him.  The kid's got some decent skills at shoplifting.  The fact that he managed what my nephew didn't speaks well of his skills.  I also know that this sort of thing can ruin your career as well as his.  We'd miss you."  He grinned and waved a hand around.  "So I'll let you take the offer to him.  If he's serious about joining my side, I'll get him trained and I'll support him as someone's second in command.  I can do so quietly.  It'll be like he's away at school, that way it won't mess up the custody thing that's going to become messy enough without this."  He stood up.  "By the way, your younger step-nephew Jerry?  He's going to demand to stay here.  By US law, he's old enough to make that decision.  He'll fight for you and so will we.  I leave it up to you."  He strolled out like nothing had ever happened, nodding politely at Vecchio.  "See you in Italy at the convention."  He let himself out and disappeared into the night.

Zenigata came out of his study with a large drink.  "Ray, go get my nephew," he said firmly.  "I'd like to talk to him."  Ray gaped.  "Now."

"Fine.  Sure.  What happened?"  Zenigata held up the picture.  "Ah!"  He hurried up the stairs.  He came back down with his nephew.  "In there, he's waiting."  He shoved him toward the office.  "Now."

"Yes, uncle?" he asked as he walked inside, deciding to be bold.  His uncle took another drink but held up the photo he had received.  "I thought it might be something like that."  He sighed as he sat down.  "It was momentary stupidity."

"Really?  Lupin said you managed something his nephew didn't, to steal a laptop."  He finished his drink and put the glass down with a thump on his wood desk.  "Lupin also said if you really wanted to go into the life, he'd train you.  He'd make sure you got a safe enough position as someone's second-in-command.  He said he'd try not to let this impact my career but we all know that's a lie."  He stared down his nephew.  "Anything else you want to confess to?"

Morgan looked at his hands, making a decision.  He looked up at his uncle.  "I was trying it out, nothing more.  I've been fascinated with Lotus for years now, you know that Uncle."  He nodded, looking like he was trying to stay calm.  That was much better than Morgan would be able to do in his position.  "I've been thinking about joining her but I realized that I can't do what she does.  I can't be the ruthless brat Lupin the Fourth is.  I realize I will probably end up in jail before I'm thirty if I continue on this path."

"And your decision is?"

Morgan sighed.  "I think I love her, Uncle."

"You'd have to kill people," he pointed out.  His nephew nodded.  "You might have to kill a number of people.  You do realize this?"  His nephew nodded again, not looking at him.  "Then this is your choice.  If you want to go with Lupin, I'll allow it.  You will not be allowed to talk to the other children about what you do.  You will not be coming into my house again.  I'm sorry, but I'm not risking everyone else's career for you, nephew."

"I understand."  He looked up at his uncle.  "I didn't want to hurt you."

"I realize this was youthful stupidity but it's now time for you to make an adult decision.  Which path do you want to be on?"

"This sucks."

Zenigata nodded.  "I know.  Love and honor are two different things that are often at odds.  Look at Kowalski and his dating their nanny.  It will look bad on him.  He'll never go up in the ranks."

"Ray wouldn't like that anyway."

"I know.  So does he.  He also used part of that in his decision making process."   He got comfortable.  "Now, it's time for you to make your real decision.  Do you want to follow Lotus or would you like to stay a part of the family?"

Morgan slumped down.  "I don't like it when I steal.  I hate the feeling I get.  I was trying it out, I didn't want to do it full time really.  I was kinda hoping to use it to understand her better."

"And do you?"

"No.  Well, yeah, I kinda do understand why people get a thrill out of it but it wasn't for me.  I know Lotus doesn't.  Did she tell you?"

"She asked Lupin if he'd teach you if you were to follow her path.  He offered, I found out from him.  Which, by the way, is why I'm going to be sleeping on the couch tonight so my drunkenness doesn't piss off your aunt."  He got up to pour himself another drink.  "Want one?"

"I'm only sixteen."

"You're man enough to steal a laptop, you're man enough to have your first shot."  He handed it over.  "It is your decision, Morgan, you have a week to make it."

"I'm not going to follow her, Uncle Zenny.  I don't want to be a crook. I'd like it if she wasn't a crook too, but I guess I can't have everything."  He sipped his drink, making a disgusted face.  "Eww, that's nasty."

"That's liquor, son.  Learn it's uses.  You'll probably drink over your women more than once."  He sat down with his, sipping it gently.  "Get up and put some sprite in that.  Saki doesn't go well with cola."  Morgan got up and poured a good amount of sprite into his glass.  "So you're staying?"

"Yes, sir."  He sat down, drinking more.  "I'm sorry I embarrassed you."

"Frankly I'd be surprised if one of you didn't turn that way.  It's like some sort of curse on cops to have one of their kids go bad."  He took a long gulp.  "What else have you gotten?"

"A few pieces of clothes.  A few games for the laptop.  Do I have to get rid of it?"

Zenigata gave him a long look.  "Selling it now would mean I'd have to arrest you.  You will be sending the store a check for the amount of the laptop with an anonymous note saying you stole it and this was the worth of it so you're doing reimbursement."  He finished that glass.  "If you don't, I'm going to kick your ass before I kick you out of the house and make you live with your mother."

"Yes, sir.  Can I take it out of my college fund?"

"Yes, do that."  He stood up.  "We've got something else to discuss.  Word was given to us that your mother has filed a motion to regain custody of you."

"Over her dead body.  I think she'd be the only one Auntie Dawn could ever kill," he said at the hurt look.  "I couldn't."

"She couldn't either but I'm almost willing to offer to shoot her myself," Zenigata admitted bitterly.  "Go to bed.  Let me tell Jerry. Expect to have a trip to Cleveland soon."   His nephew nodded and got up.  "You made the right choice."

"I know.  Thanks, Uncle Zenny."  He left, going back up to his room, thinking about what he had done.  He had royally messed up and he didn't blame Lotus for telling on him.  He'd have to write her later.  He found his aunt in his room and groaned. "Not you too!"

"Shut it, now."  He nodded, hanging his head. "Should I be packing you a bag and shipping everything or not?"

"No, ma'am.  I decided I was an idiot.  I was doing it to try to understand Lotus better.  I didn't like it and I didn't get that thrill factor from him.  So I turned down Lupin's generous offer to train me and I'm staying.  If that's okay?" he asked, sounding hesitant.

"Yeah, it's fine, kid."  She stood up and pulled him closer, giving him a hug.  "I got the point of the problem but no more.  Never again unless your survival is at risk."  He nodded against her shoulder.  "What did he tell you to do?"

"Pay for it and send an anonymous note.  He said to take it out of the college fund."  She nodded, patting him on the back.  "I'm sorry, Auntie."

"Not an issue.  There's more problems than this ahead.   Just don't tell anyone or we'll have a problem at the custody hearing and let me tell Jerry."

"Yes, ma'am.  Thank you, Auntie."

"Not an issue.  I can't really say anything considering what I used to do."   She chucked him on the chin.  "Now, sleep it off, Morgan.  Is he sleeping on the couch?"  He nodded.  "Good.  I hate liquor breath."  She left him there, leaving him to write Lotus.  She came back and took the laptop.  "You're still grounded by the way."

"I was going to write Lotus and tell her she was right to tell Lupin on me."

"Yay.  You can do it tomorrow, once Zenny doesn't have a hangover."  She shut off his laptop and put it in his desk.  "Go to sleep.  Now."  She walked out, her heels clicking on the hall's hardwood floors.

He waited until everyone was asleep then got up to get his laptop, writing her a long letter.  He'd love to have her if she'd turn to his side, but he couldn't join her and he couldn't be with her if they were on opposite sides of the law.  Like his aunt and uncle, without the nastiness that sometimes came out during their fights.   Ray came in and snatched it.  "Just let me send it," he whined.  "I'm breaking up with her unless she joins me on my side."

Vecchio gave him an incredulous look, then walked away with the laptop, shaking his head.  He wasn't ever that dumb about women.  Was he?

***

Lotus came out of the study room, looking very confused.  "Mom?"  Xander stuck his head out of the office so she headed that way, sitting next to him.  "I just got a message from Morgan saying that he was going to have to break up with me if I couldn't join his side because he couldn't join mine.  That there was no way we could date because he couldn't stand living in my life and if I ever wanted to go good, I was more than welcome to join his.  Am I confused or did I send signals I wasn't aware of?"

He patted her on the back.  "Probably not, but Morgan does have his natural mother's focus on what he wants and believes is good for him.  So, no, I don't think there were any signals going on.  I think he was smitten."

Lupin looked up from his paperwork.  "You didn't send any signals, Lotus.  He got confused and thought you were his."

Goemon stuck his head in the door.  "Did you say something about my daughter and dating?"

"Morgan sent me a confusing email. He said he can't join us here so we can't date, unless I join him, which he knew wasn't likely.  So he'd love me forever and I was always welcome to come back to him.  I wasn't aware we were dating."

"You're not," Goemon said firmly.  "You're much too young for dating anybody."

"That's *so* not the point, daddy.  Think about it.  Morgan thought we *were* dating.  He just broke up with me because he can't be a thief and he knows I can't take his life.  He said if I wanted to turn good, I could come back to him and we'd be happy together on the straight side."  Goemon blushed at that.  "Father!  You're being a pervert!"

"Sorry, daughter.  That was a very...loaded statement.  I apologize."

"Why?  We all know she's straight," Arsene called from up the hall.  "She was drooling over *two* thieves, Uncle G."

"How many times have I told you not to bug the office!" Lupin yelled at his daughter.

"Yay."  She stuck her head around Goemon's side.  "Where's the fun in that?  Speaking of fun, daddy, we *all* need to go shopping.  Otherwise I can't wear any of my bras.  They're all too tight."

"Why are you telling *me* this?" he demanded.

"Um, because you're in charge of my inheritance?" she suggested boldly.  "And hey, if you don't bring me, we'll have to bring a male *mom* with us.  Who'll only get hit on, sleep with a few of the salesgirls, and well... they'll probably give us a discount so when can we go, Mom?"

"Later this week," Xander said patiently, rolling his eyes at his child.  "You are so bad."

"No, bad is that I'm out of underwear and all my bras are *way* too tight.  Unfortunately, I got your rack."  She headed for the kitchen.  "I need work on the balance beam!" she called as she walked away.  "My tits are throwing me off balance again."

"Some of us did not need to know that, Arsene Lupin the Fourth!" Marcus shouted from upstairs.  "Stop it now!  Before you have Alex and Sarah speaking such words!"

"Oh, blow me, Uncle Marcus.  Get over it."  She flipped her hair back, making him pause and shudder, then turn away.  "What!"

"Nothing.  Go put on *real* clothes."  He stomped off, going to clear his mind with a long series of katas.  He did not want to think about what he had noticed about her.

He would not think about her like that.

She was still the same child who used to sit and play with his hair while she sucked her thumb.

She was not growing breasts, she was not growing up, and she would not be an object of desire for anyone.

Especially not him.

He whimpered at that thought and hit himself on the forehead to clear his mind, going back to his centering before starting off again on his katas.  He would not do that to the children.

"I'm hot, get over it already," Arsene called from the kitchen doorway.  She walked past the office again.  "We're out of soda."

Lupin came out and grabbed his daughter, looking her over.  Then he frowned at her.  "Put.   On.  A.  Bra."

"They're too tight!  They're cutting off my ability to breathe.  Would you rather I be a panting young woman in hot clothes with a nice ass?"  He groaned and walked back into the office, slamming the door.  "So, can we *please* go shopping soon!"

"Quit yelling!" Jigen shouted from the range.

"Sorry, we were discussing why all my bras are too tight and the consequences of me using them anyway."

"You and me both," Melissa said dryly.  "I think I'm getting my wish."  She cupped her chest and looked down at herself.  "Yup, they've grown."

"Oh, gross," he complained, stomping up to the office to hide with the other adults.  "We've got to stop that puberty crap, Lupin.  She can't grow up any more."

"Tell me about it," he said, handing over a drink.  "My daughter's got a rack like her stepmother.  Marcus just freaked himself out."

Xander chuckled.  "It was kinda cute.  Arsene is *exactly* like you, Lupin.  Just think, Fred's next."  He stood up.  "So, when and where are we taking the kids shopping?"

"Now!"

"Today!"

"Here, have my card," Lupin ordered, tossing his wallet over.  "Just take them and get them into something shapeless and not form fitting."

"*Your* daughter?" Xander asked with a smirk.

"Wipe it or else," Jigen ordered bitterly.  "I want to see my daughter in something that makes her look like a little kid again.  Try for pigtails if you can."

"So... you want her to look like a stripper?" Lupin asked.  Jigen growled at him.  "Never mind.  It's the same problem I'm having.  Just get them suitably covered and strapped down so we don't have to notice that they've got tits."

"Fine," Xander said dryly.  "One problem with that.  They've got a formal event this summer from the school. It's about two weeks after the convention in Italy.  They have to look suitably and reasonably adult, and they must be wearing formal gowns, or in Lotus' case a formal kimono if she wishes.  It is a parental event as well.  It's a meet-and-greet event for the new students."

"Fine.  Work on that today.  That's in six weeks. Find them something stunning."  Lupin waited until he had gone to gather the kids to groan ad flop down.  "Why did we have kids?"

"Your grandfather's will," Jigen said dryly.  "Mine was an accident, which I liked a lot.  At least until she hit puberty."

"I thought the day they got their pills was bad," Goemon said from the doorway.  "They've all gone.  What is this about a formal event?"

"It's a meet-and-greet," Lupin said bitterly.  "They've got to be in formal gear.  Fully formal gear."

"Hmm."  Goemon walked off, going to his favorite meditation spot.  He still hadn't come to grips with his little girl growing up.  Seeing his son as a competent adult had been very hard.  Seeing her as one and old enough to like boys was even worse for him.  And he still had two sons to go.  He sat down and calmed himself, watching as Marcus frantically worked himself away from his thoughts.  "Stop," he ordered.  "Pause.  Breathe.  Recenter.  Start again."

Marcus nodded, stopping and hanging his head.  "I'm sorry, Master Goemon."

"It's not as bad as mine are."

Marcus looked at him.  "Yes it is, they're not my children."  He grimaced and shook his head quickly.  "I've got to stop that."

"Yes, you do," Goemon agreed.  "Hopefully not about my daughter?"

"No, sir.  Arsene."

"It happens to all of us," he admitted.  "We will work on it.  Recenter and start again, Marcus."

"Yes, master."  He took a few cleansing breaths and started off again, letting himself get lost in the motions so his mind would quit and not let him hear it working.

Goemon thought about his children growing up.  Lotus had once been the same age as Yu.   She had been sweet and cuddly.  She had been a little baby.  Now she was a near-adult.  She was on the pill.  She had breasts.  She liked boys and boys liked her.  And soon she would be wearing formal wear and showing off to a great many thieves.  He held in his growl at that thought and calmed himself down again.  She would not be marrying a thief.  She would marry some day but it would be someone he would approve of.  If he wasn't there, his son would be approving of her choice of husband.   One of them would still be around if he wasn't and Bix would help her pick someone suitable.  She had good taste in men.  He did like Ray, he always had.  He treated Bix well and she was happy with him.  He would gladly hand her care to him.  His daughter, she needed someone just as good.  Perhaps Ray would help her find one once he married Bix.  It would make him happy, no matter where he was.  He felt someone hug him and opened his eyes, giving Ray an odd look.  "What?"

"She's always going to be your baby, Goemon.  Other people with kids have said the same thing.  Even when they're old ladies with grandkids, they'll still be your babies."  He walked off, going back to Bix's side.  "C'mon, let's go play with the fishies."

She smiled and patted him on the hand.  "It's okay.  I like you even though you're weird."

"Which is better than my ex, who thought I was weird to spite her and make her life difficult."

She gave his arm a hug.  "I like you because of it."

He grinned at her.  "Thanks."

Goemon shook his head.  They were odd, but they were good.  He liked them together.

***

Zenigata knocked on the hotel room door, wincing when he saw who was opening it.  "He's here?"

"They're both here," Melissa noted, letting him and Vecchio, who was sneaking up behind him, in.  "Bix, Ray?"  They came out of the bedroom, straightening each other out.  "She was helping him fit his costume better.  He's gained ten pounds since we brought him to the house."  She flopped down and curled up in a seat, looking at them. "Sit.  Daddy Lupin made the food with Lotus.  I'm the chaperone.  Bix can stay if you guys want or not."  No one moved.  "Sit!"  They sat and stared at each other.  "Gods, people.  He wasn't hurt."

"No, I wasn't," Ray agreed gently.  "The Headmistress and most of the teachers were pretty nice to me.  A few of the kids were scary.  I was teaching in both tracks, the thieves and the assassins."

"They train assassins there?" Vecchio asked Melissa, who nodded quickly.  "Doesn't that cause trouble for Ishi?"

"No.  He's a thief.  The assassin's teachers pouted at him but they knew he's a thief.  There's a few teachers in common.  They give us who can shoot advice too."

"How is that working for you?" Ray asked.

"I'm better.  I've worked through having to shoot that guy to save me and John.  I've gotten to the point where I can do it if necessary but not for fun.  I'm not Ishi and I'm not my dad, but I'm more than good enough to save our asses."  She grinned at Bix.  "Can you help me with my dress tonight?"  She nodded.  "Thanks.  I'm still not sure.  Mom said I looked great, she teared up, but I don't want a dress that'll make people cry."

"I'm sure it was because you looked so grown up," Zenigata said dryly.  "You're all very grown up now."

She grinned.  "Flattery won't get you left alone with him."  She shifted.  "Get comfy.  Take off your shoes, your jackets, your ties.  Talk, please."  She snapped her fingers.  "Oh, Lotus had a message for Morgan.  They weren't dating, they can't break up."

"Huh?" Zenigata asked.

Ray snickered, shaking his head.  "He wrote her a note saying that since he couldn't be a thief, he couldn't date her anymore.  But that if she wanted to join his side he'd love her forever and take very good care of her.  He all-but begged and pleaded for her to come across to our side, boss.  It had that air of 'nobility and high speech' that just made her confused and everyone else laugh when she let them read it."

"I'll talk to him about that," Vecchio said dryly.  "You don't look bad."

"Thanks.  Lupin cooks well. The kids are decent.  Xander let me into his anime collection," he shared with a grin.  "Lotus thinks she's got something and we'll be testing it later tonight.  If so, I'll get to go home with you when we're gone."

"If not?" Zenigata demanded.

"If not, then we've got two backups in place and we'll be releasing him as soon as one of them work," Melissa assured him.  "Arsene's tired of watching her mouth around him because he keeps smacking her across the back of the head for her language."

"She's got a potty mouth!" he snorted.  "She deserved it."

"I agree," Bix said quietly.

"So do I, but she is a Lupin.  She's supposed to be shocking and odd."

"Yeah, but she's shocking people like your dad."

Melissa smirked at him.  "That's always been her favorite game.  You should have seen it when she targeted mom for a whole week and actually got him to blush!"

"She did?" Vecchio asked.  Melissa smirked and nodded. "Why?"

"She threatened to paddle us if we repeated it."

"Was that when she got the drugs?" Zenigata asked sarcastically.

"No, that was the night she managed to squick the whole house.  Not even her dad could deal with that one."

"What did she say?" Ray K asked.

"That was right after Mom was deaged.  She said that if her dad didn't want him, he was younger, prettier, and closer to her age so she'd take him."

The three cops thought about that, then shuddered.

"Hence her getting drugs," Bix said with a smirk for Melissa.   "Did she bring any to the school?"

"No, we had plenty of targets for her to get that mean streak out on," she assured her smugly.  "Three of them even got kicked out because of their own stupidity while we were watching them.  They ran off during our school exercise."

"What was that about?"

"You had to steal something.  It was your plan, your target, your research, your report," Ray told them.  "They sent everything not broken back.  There's a special place for the broken stuff but only a few things joined the Closet of Shame this year."

"That's what you get when you steal delicate porcelain and then expect it to travel in your suitcase with your shoes.  That's why we went for practical stuff.  Wooden statues.  Jewelry.  Pictures."

"Ishi's statue broke."

"Ishi noted his statue was broken when he got it," she corrected.  She reached over and nibbled on a covered cracker.  "Eww.  Goat cheese.  Daddy Lupin made that one."  She finished it but didn't get another of those.  "His pictures showed a major crack in the same place it had split.  So it did join the closet but it wasn't totally his fault."

"Did Lupin the Fourth take hers back?" Vecchio asked.

"You know, I don't know," Melissa offered.  "She stole a piece of jewelry.  I haven't seen it around but I can't be sure.  I don't think she did since we didn't hear about it going missing.  The Academy is nothing if not a gossip hole."

"They didn't have much else to do there," Ray offered. "It's in the middle of nowhere.  There's not even a town close by."

"No, but we did get to go sometimes.  Oh, Amanda and Ishi broke up around that parent/teacher thing.  She said it was too hard to do that long distance with him."

"She's probably happier now," Vecchio offered.  She nodded, grinning at him.  He looked at his buddy again.  "You're sure you're fine?"

"Just fine.  I've been good.  The kids made sure I was protected when a few of the kids wanted to prove they were big, bad, tough guys.  Arsene belittled one of them until they walked away crying."

"We also took care of the ones who wanted to kill Zenigata," Melissa said dryly.  "The assassins are odd and some are kinda stranger than others, but they saw reason when Lotus went off on them."

"Lotus?" Zenigata asked, looking stunned.  "Her?  She's a nice little girl."

"Who is just as deadly as Ishi, without the sword.  She took him out into the woods on a challenge and kicked...his...ass," she said, smirking as she drew it out.  "He came back so disheartened that he had to be counseled because they thought he might be suicidal.  And she was having a *good* day."

"Arsene is the master of the low blow and the crude innuendo.  Lotus is one of those who's quiet and will kill you," Ray shared.  "Some of the assassins are going to be problems for a while.  I was told it didn't matter if I told about the kids I taught, as long as I didn't tell about the school's location and nothing that could identify it."

"It's been around for a *long* time," Melissa shared.  "It'd be a pain in the ass to move it."

"It would," Vecchio agreed.  "It's probably in an old manor sorta house and they're getting rarer and rarer each year."

"No, we could build a new one, one with warm floors and heating ducts that didn't blow stenchy stuff.  We've had a few mice that died recently in the heating system."

"You're surrounded by woods, it's understandable," Zenigata said.  She sat up so he shrugged.  "We've known something about the Academy now for years."

"Yay.  I'll make sure to tell them that."

"It's easier to have them all there.  At least the thieves who come out of there don't do stupid things," Zenigata retorted.  "Unlike ones who are just apprenticed or do things by themselves."

"Yeah, but they make for interesting stories," Kowalski said to break up the tension.

"I've still got to report that," Melissa noted dryly.  "If so, expect a midnight visit from our headmistress.  She won't be mean about it but you may end up being questioned for a few hours while Auntie Dawn sleeps soundly beside you."

"That would be fine, as long as she didn't hurt anyone else," Zenigata said, staring her down.

"The rules of the family that run the school state that no one who was trained there can run the school," Kowalski offered.  "She was trained by field work.  They're nice though, the assassin's track has a minor in it for bodyguards.  They used to do some serious CIA training as well."

"Interesting," Vecchio agreed.  He picked up a cracker to nibble on one.  "That's an odd cheese."

"If it's not goat then I'm not sure what Lotus and Daddy Lupin did," Melissa offered with a shrug.  "You know how he is about food.  By the way, does anyone know why my dad drinks wine and won't touch a beer? You'd figure with his background that he'd like beer more."

"Who knows," Zenigata said bitterly.  "I'll ask him the next time I question him."  She stared him down and he suddenly shuddered.  She was her father's daughter, protests about shooting people beside the point.  Jigen didn't like to kill but sometimes he had to.  This one hated it but she definitely would to protect her family, he could see it in her eyes at that moment.

"Do you have any plans yet for your coming out party?" Bix asked to break up the staring contest.

Melissa grinned at her.  "We're narrowing down targets at the moment.  It'll be a group thing."

"Hmm, kids in one spot and adults in another?" Kowalski suggested.

"That's one idea.  Or the same target but the adults would go for one thing and us kids would officially come out for the other, which would prove we're better because we'd be going second, after they'd be paranoid and tried to up the security.  Arsene likes that idea."

"I'm sure she does.  It's foolhardy and gaudy," Zenigata said sarcastically.

"Actually, they were thinking an art and jewels thing.  She likes jewels and the 'rents like art a bit more.  Either that or simultaneous jobs."  She grinned brightly at him.  "Just think, two Lupin teams starting next year for you to chase."

Zenigata groaned, rubbing his chest.  "That's a bad thought, kid.  Why don't you do something useful with your life?"

"You mean besides redecorating some ugly houses?"  The cops all stared at her so she smirked at them.  "We didn't steal anything, just redecorated.  It needed it, even Arsene was horrified by the use of pelts *everywhere*.  Plus, hey, massive poacher."

"Unfortunately the B&E statute of limitations has run out on that job," Vecchio said grimly.  "He was very pissed at you guys."

"He had bad taste.  He deserved it."

"Was that the guy with the rubies?" Kowalski asked, looking slightly confused.

"No, that was a different thing," Melissa assured him.  "We're talking about this guy in Paris who was a poacher.  We decided to help his bad taste by redecorating for him one night.  It was much nicer the next morning and he only had animal accents after that.  His pelts all found their way into storage where they could be cared for properly."  She shifted.  "Has anyone realized that our sixteenth birthdays are coming up soon?"  They all gaped at her and shook their heads.  "Yeah, Ishi's is first, just in a few weeks, but then ours are in the next year or so.  Of course, Arsene's going to try things out soon after that.  She's made that decision already.  She's been curious much too long and it's driving her nuts."

Kowalski gave her a long look, then cleared his throat.  "Give us a day's warning if possible so we can evacuate the city, okay?" he requested.  The other cops stared at him.  "Think about it.  Your first kid starts to have sex.  Her dad will probably walk in on that.  Where do *you* want to be?"

"Far, far away," Zenigata admitted dryly.  He shook his head, that thought just made him want to take a long, hot shower with a very stiff brush.  "I can't imagine Goemon when his daughter starts to date for real."

"Neither can he," Ray said with a smirk for him.  "He's still meditating on the fact that she's growing up.  It's not working yet."

"Can you blame him?  He keeps seeing her as this little baby girl who used to give him these adoring looks as she peed on him.  That's why he won't train her the same way he does Ishi.  Before you ask, it's always been that way.  She's very well trained but she had to go through Ishi and mom to get it.  She's actually just as good, if not better, at the sneaky stuff.  She'd make one hell of an assassin if she could kill people with forethought and intent."

"Well, we've always said Ishi was like Goemon and Lavelle had a kid," Vecchio agreed sarcastically.  "So I guess Goemon's real child is Lotus."

"And Kenji," she offered with a wink.  "He's just like his father, down to the scowl when someone tells him something he *knows* his daddy won't like.  He's even learning the same style his dad uses.  So he's Goemon Jr."

"Speaking of the other fandom people in the family, where are they?" Kowalski asked.

"Downstairs at the convention," she said with a grin.  "Being Ishi and Goemon."

"And Lavelle?" Vecchio asked.

"You know, I'm not quite sure where mom is," she admitted, looking up.  "Hey, Mom?  Are you playing or working?"  The room's phone rang so she grabbed it and listened, then hung up.  "The pregnancy case is having an ultrasound today so he's back with her."

"He's got another kid stashed somewhere?" Vecchio asked in horror.  Weren't these ones bad enough?

"No, Janus' last kid is being carried," Zenigata admitted.  "Dawn and he were both notified that they'd have to protect her."

"As was Lupin the Fourth, dedicatee of Janus," Kowalski allowed.

"Fuck," Zenigata said bitterly.  "She is?"  Melissa nodded, giving him a smug look.  "Damn it."

"Eh, it makes it more interesting sometimes," Melissa said with a shrug.  "She's the one who gets head's up from above when things start to go to hell.  Everyone's *real* cautious about mom being happy.  Something about him being able to take over hell and have fun with it."

"Didn't he once promise that if Lupin or Jigen died first he was going to take it over and make them do all the paperwork?" Vecchio asked.

Melissa giggled.  "He still does.  They get this horrified look on their faces, like that's the worst torture in the world. It tends to make them leave him alone when we're in the lab."

"Lab?"

"Yuppers, I'm just as mechanically inclined as mom," she said proudly.  "Those mouse costumes were very handy.  We've done all sorts of neat weapons systems for them."

"On second thought, stay a thief, Jigen.  You're less of a threat to the world that way," Zenigata said bitterly.

"Hey, we're not the people who're building the battle robots in Japan, like the anime kind.  We just fund them," she said with a grin.  "Their mechanoid suits are *really* nice.  Not too hard to live in for a few hours, not too difficult to work on, and very well-hidden wiring."

"So we're going to be seeing Gundam-style robots soon on battlefields?" Kowalski demanded.

She shrugged.  "Not exactly.  They've got a few of those but they've also got personal armor suits.  They're nicer, they protect a person and they're less complicated but they're more functional for the average soldier."

"Great," Zenigata drawled.  "A good reason to bring back armor piercing bullets."

"They're not susceptible to armor-piercing rounds unless they're fired from something like a grenade launcher," Melissa said smugly.  "I got to go to the trials for the first suits.  They're very good.  I even got to climb into a suit and use it.  It's not the most intuitive design for me but they're programable so each person can use their own settings.  When they tinkered with how each control worked, it worked wonderfully for me.  It'd take about six weeks of training in it to get an average person up-to-date on its uses but it's more than doable for an army situation."

"The first one of those we see, I'm retiring," Vecchio announced, shifting to get more comfortable on his part of the couch.

"I'll stand there and take pictures, but I'll go with you," Kowalski agreed happily.  "I'm good but not quite that good."

"They've even got K-9 units in the thinking process," Melissa offered.  "Speaking of which, we don't care if you steal the wolf back.  We kinda liked Dief.  He used to let us pet him.  But, and this is a big but, we've also seen Frasier recently.  Ishi saw him recently," she added at the incredulous looks.  "Only his self control kept him from killing the guy in the mall they were both in."

"If I see him, I'm gonna kick his ass," Vecchio promised her.  "That's not how you be a good cop."

"Good," she agreed.  "Let's hope you get there first.  The 'rents don't know he saw them and only Daddy Lupin's monitoring us."  The phone rang again so she picked it up.  "Yeah?"  She listened, then sighed and hung it up.  "Correction, Goemon just switched off and now he's upset.  So stay out of his way tonight, 'kay, guys?"

"Sure," they agreed, all nodding.  That was always a wise idea.  Those who had seen Goemon running on a collicky baby/lack of sleep high still had nightmares about him eviscerating a goat for daring to bleat at him while he was trying to rest.  The pieces hadn't been big enough for dog food after he had gotten done with the poor beast.

***

Arsene wandered around the convention, listening to the various stories going on around her with a happy smirk on her face.  She loved conventions.  There were cute boys her own age that she could lust over and her father couldn't say a *thing* about.  There was a lack of work, but she always got some great ideas from some of the anime.  She stopped at one stall selling videos, listening to the people behind her talk about some anime producer who was a *major* player in the business and who had a lot of ideas in storage, filing the name away for later research.  She wouldn't rob anyone of their comic or anime collection but then again, he probably had other things to his credit by now.  She bought a dvd and moved on to check out some of the other stalls.  She heard someone else talking about the same guy and grimaced at what that woman was telling her daughter.  So, the guy had a thing for school girls and was known to use them and toss them aside like trash huh?  Interesting.  She started searching out the rumors and found a few more about how the guy liked to pick up people from conventions and then they disappeared.  A few had gotten free and gone back to their families but the only thing ever said about them was that they weren't the same as when they'd been taken.  She found her daddy and grinned up at him as she leaned against his arm, whispering in his ear about what she'd heard.  "How about him?"

"He sounds like a good idea to get," he agreed, patting her on the back.  He held up the video he was looking at.  "What do you think about this one for your mother?"

"I think we're the only ones allowed to call him mom," she said dryly.  He scowled at her so she shrugged.  "You know how he can get about the gender stuff, dad.  Otherwise, I think he's got some of that set."  She looked at the booth tender.  "Does Lavelle have that one?"

"Xander?" she asked, considering it.  She pulled out a notebook and flipped to a page she had on what he was looking for.  "Yeah, he's looking for four and five, but he's got the others of the six-piece set."  She looked at Lupin, who was pouting, so handed over the sheet.  "That's the last time I knew, which was Paris this spring, Lupin."  She grinned at the young lady.  "Are you Melissa or the younger Lupin?"

"No, I'm a Lupin," she assured her with a bright grin.  "Mom's out somewhere right now with someone else's kid.  He's protecting the mother and baby-to-be."

"Good for him," she praised warmly, smiling at Lupin.  "Though I'm sure you're upset since you probably haven't gotten snuggles recently."

"Not in months," he sighed, handing back the book.  "Got anything on there?"

"Actually, I have managed to find a few of them," she offered.  Lupin grinned and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek, paying the small price happily.  Xander would be a happy guy again.  He'd been down recently and Lupin wanted to see him grin again.  "C'mon, empress, let's go look at naughty stuff."

"Sure, dad.  We do remember that my birthday's next month, right?" she taunted with a mean smirk at his shudder.  "What's wrong, daddy?  I'm nearly sixteen."

"Daughter, you can't start dating yet.  I'm not ready for it yet."  He put his arm back around her back.  "None of us are ready for you guys to really start dating yet."

"Too late," she said happily.  Oooh, there was Melissa's stalker.  She nudged her father gently, pointing at him.  "We need to talk to him with Uncle Jigen.  That's Melissa's admirer."  She got free and skipped over, grinning brightly at the boy.  "Hi."  He flinched, turning to look at her.  "Yes it's me.  Melissa's up watching that cop in his interactions with the others so she'll be down later.  Until then, let me introduce you to her uncle.  Dad?"  Lupin scowled at the boy.  "Ice, this is my father, Lupin the Third.  Ah, there's Uncle Jigen. Are they done?"

"No, Goemon had a headache," he admitted.  He looked at the boy, then snorted.  "So you're him?"  The boy nodded, looking calm and cold.  "Do you think you're good enough for my baby girl?"

"I'm the top rated student in the assassin's track," he offered.  "I'm the fourth best shot at the school.  We've been paired recently on some exercises.  I even had to get around her to do my sixth year exercise."  Jigen shrugged.  "I do like your daughter.  She is *fine*, she is calm, she's smart, beautiful, and has a body that's perfect.  Why wouldn't I want your daughter, Mr. Jigen?"

Jigen patted him on the back.  "Remember, hurt even her feelings and meet me in a duel, kid."

"That's fine, sir.  I'm more than good enough.  I beat Lupin's ratings this year," he said smugly.  "As did Ishi and Melissa."

"Shit, I hadn't heard that.  I'm impressed," Lupin admitted.  "Though I did do mine during a bout of the flu so bad I was hospitalized later that night," he admitted when Jigen looked at him.  He looked at the boy again.  "You're having dinner with the group, kid.  Before you get anywhere near his daughter, you've got to get past her crew and the parents."

"I told you it'd be horrible," Arsene reminded him smugly.

He shrugged.  "Fine.  When and where?  How formal?"

"Wear what you've got on, kid," Jigen told him.  "We hate formal dinners and it won't impress her."  For some reason, he liked this kid at the moment.  "We'll eat before the showings tonight since she wanted to go to one of them.  Probably around the corner."

"Yes, sir."  He bowed slightly to them.  "I'll see you then.  Is she due down today?"

"Not until dinner," Arsene offered.  "Kowalski was put into our care so she's monitoring him and Gramps."

"Very well.  I'll see you then.  I'll meet you at the desk."  He walked off, going to find his hopeful girlfriend a present.  He really did like her and it was a good sign her father hadn't shot him on sight.  Lupin was doing good getting him accepted.  That bribe of his porn collection had been worth it and he had needed new stuff anyway.

Lupin looked down at his daughter.  "You like him?"

"I liked him enough to let him bribe me to introduce you guys before you saw him with Melissa," she admitted smugly.  "So I tripled my porn collection."  She strolled off, going to the hentai section to find something new and naughty for her collection.

"I almost like the kid," Jigen admitted.

"Then we won't let Goemon slice him on sight," Lupin agreed, glancing around.  "Have you seen Fred?"

"Nope," he admitted, tipping his hat back some to glance around.  "Look for a girl with a nice rack yet?"

"I've seen plenty but I haven't heard that little giggle of his yet," Lupin sighed.  He walked over to where Misty was sitting, leaning down to whisper in her ear.  "Fred's missing."

"He's with the Amazons," she said with a grin, pointing them out.

He looked at the leather-clad women, groaning when he realized that his son was under one's short skirt and nuzzling her ass.  "Thanks."

"Eh, they know he's a Lupin.  He introduced himself," she said with a wink.

"Wonderful."  He strolled that way, coughing gently.  "Can I have my son back?  He knows better, really."

"You're Sylvia's man," one of them said after looking him over.

"Yeah, and Fred's definitely our son," he said smugly, pointing at where he was rubbing his head on some woman's pubic mound.  "Fred!"

"No!"

"Son!"

Fred came out and smirked at him.  "Mine!"

"No!"

"Young man, you may not touch women like that without their permission," the head Amazon chastised gently.  She picked him up so he laid his head on her breasts, getting comfy and giving her a grin.  She looked at Lupin and handed him over.  "He is definitely your son."

"He slipped the baby leash," he said proudly.  "We even had it locked."  He walked his son off, quietly having a word with him about not snuggling up to strange women.  He found Jigen and Ishi eating fries at a table and sat down, letting his son steal a few for them.  "He likes tough women.  He was trying to get inside an Amazon's panties and inside the leather bra of another one."

Jigen shook his head. "Let's hope he doesn't find his own Fujiko."

"Yeah, definitely," Ishi agreed.  "So, you've met Brad?"

"His name's *Brad*?" Lupin snickered.

"Around the school, he's known as Ice, but yeah, his real name's Brad Lagostini."

"Huh.  We'll have to pump Pops for some info on his family," Jigen said dryly.  He dunked a fry in cheese sauce and handed it to Fred, who grinned and gobbled it up before stealing the cheese for himself.

"Hey, mine," Ishi complained, taking it back with a scowl.  "Keep it up, little man, and I'll teach Kenji how to pounce you."

"He not a girl," Fred pouted.

"No, he's not a Lupin at all," Melissa said sarcastically from behind them.  She tipped Fred's face up to kiss him on the forehead.  "Behave, Fred.  Girls don't like boys your age.  They like boys Ishi's age and if you torment them you'll never get big enough."  She sat down and took her father's remaining fries for herself.  "Lotus took over for me."  She glanced around.

"He's coming to dinner with us tonight," Jigen told her, watching his daughter blush.  "He seemed decent enough."

"Really?" she asked, looking shocked.  "I like a boy you actually like?"

"So far," he corrected sternly.  "As in we'll see."

"Sure, dad," she agreed quickly.  "I'm sure you'll like Ice once you get to know him a bit better.  He's a sweet guy.  He got me a deer's heart last month from his hunting trip."

"I'm not sure that I shouldn't be worried about that," Lupin sighed, shaking his head.

"It was sweet," she defended.  "It had a nice note too.  Then he sent me some wildflowers he had found on the way back."

"Icky flowers," Fred announced.

"You'll never get a girl if you don't give them flowers," Ishi told him.

Fred pouted and wiggled until he got down, stomping off to the nearest pretty woman, who he climbed up and hugged against the chest.  "My daddy meany," he explained at her shocked look.  "They say I should like flowers.  Flowers icky."

Lupin looked back at her, shrugging.  "Can I have my son back?  Unfortunately that's a family trait to snuggle up that way."

"Well, he *is* a Lupin," Melissa said dryly, making Ishi snicker and swat at her arm.  "He is!"

"Undoubtedly," he agreed, getting up to get the baby for them.  "C'mere, Fred."  He walked him back to the table, raising an eyebrow at his lack of food.  "I am still a teenage boy," he reminded them.  Lupin handed over a twenty Euro note so he could get them more food.  "Thanks, Uncle."  He walked up to the seller, getting stuff with Fred's help.  Fred like to snack too.  Besides, he was trying to flirt with the salesgirl taking orders, making her blush.  "He's a Lupin," he explained when he took the tray.  "It's genetic."

***

Melissa looked across the table at her boyfriend, smiling at him.  It had gone very well so far.  It was now dessert and only Fred had complained about him and that was because Melissa hadn't let him snuggle up to her this time.  She had noticed something interesting, Vecchio had come to the same place, seen them, turned very pale, and left suddenly.  He had nearly run over Zenigata in the process.  She'd have to talk to him later.

Fred, however, was not in a good mood.  His snuggly sisters were his, not some slimy boy's.  He glared at Brad.  "You hurt my sister, I kill you," he announced.

Lupin sniffled and wiped a tear off.  "I'm so proud, son, your first real threat," he praised, giving him a hug.

"He's had a big day," Jigen reminded him.  "He proved he could pick locks and escape harnesses without you noticing.  He got under the skirt of a woman, inside the tops of two more, nearly breastfed off one of them, and now he's made his first real threat."

Brad took the direct route, looking at the little boy.  "I don't want to hurt her.  I want to date her.  I want to make her smile and happy, and someday I want to have sex with her."

"Well, that's okay then," Fred decided.  "She's very snuggly."

Melissa blushed.  "Fred!"

"You probably are," her father noted.  He looked at the boy.  "If you even think about trying before she's sixteen, I'll castrate you before we marry her off in a political marriage to someone horrible.  Got it, kid?"

"Yes, sir," he said promptly.  He knew the old guy meant it.  "I'd never touch anyone who wasn't sixteen.  I'll be seventeen by the time she's sixteen so I really won't have a problem with that.  My father once told me eighteen or else he'd hand me to some skeezy guy on the Vegas strip."

Lupin smirked at him.  "We thought about that, but some of the kids might like that," he admitted, glancing at his daughter.

"I'd have to kill him if he was that nasty, daddy.  I do have taste."  She glanced around and pointed at someone a few tables away.  "What do you think about someone like him physically?"

Brad looked, then looked at Arsene.  "Probably not much style, little dicked, and not pretty enough to be on your arm," he said dryly.

She sighed.  "I know, but pretty guys with good taste and a good body are hard to come by.  I'd almost have to go to LA to find one."

"Fat chance, daughter," Lupin said firmly.

"Yes, daddy," she sighed. "I'm sure I'll find someone to make due with while I figure things out in fourteen months."

"Fourteen months?" Lupin squeaked.

His daughter smirked at him. "I'll be sixteen in fourteen months, daddy.  Aren't you counting down the days?"

"No!" he said hotly.  "I'll be damned if you're picking up someone on your birthday either."

"I can wait until the day afterward," she offered sweetly.

Jigen covered her mouth.  "Shut up before he has a heart attack," he ordered, making his own daughter snicker.  "You too."

"Yes, daddy."

"When is your birthday?" Brad asked.

"A month before hers," she said smugly.

"We'll have to throw you guys a party at the school," Brad said simply, smiling at her.  She beamed at him.  He grinned at Fred, making him pout at him. "I'll be nice to her."

"She's still my snuggly," he pouted.

"You can snuggle Lotus," Arsene offered gently.

Fred snorted.  "She not as snuggly as you and sissy."

"Speaking of sisters, aren't ours due back soon?" Melissa asked to change the subject.

"Three days after we get back," Lupin agreed, smiling at her for that obvious change.  "Hey, Fred, Sierra and Savannah are coming home in a week or so."

"Sissies?" he asked happily.  They were *very* snuggly!  "I steal them, he can have sissy 'Lis until they leave, then I steal her back."

"And by then we should be back at school too," Arsene said happily.

"I come?" Fred asked, looking up at his father.  "Me go too?"

"Nope, not yet," he promised.  "Soon though.  How about when you're eleven?"

"Just like Harry Potter," Brad offered.

"I go to Hogwarts?" Fred asked in awe.

"No, to the Thieve's and Assassin's Academy," Arsene told him.  "Only Lotus goes to Hogwarts classes there."

"Wow," he breathed.  "I wait.  I have wand?"

"I'll see if Lotus will make you one," his father promised patiently.  He glanced at Brad.  "He was named after one of the Twins."

"I figured as much.  Lavelle was very nice when he came up to threaten me a few days ago," he admitted.

"Mom?" Melissa asked.

Brad smirked at her.   "I woke up with him sitting beside my bed reading my file from the Academy, including my report card.  He praised my skills with obscure weapons.  Said I should learn a crossbow too.  He also said I should ask you to that stupid meet-and-greet function," he said with a slight blush but not looking away from her eyes.  "He said your dress was spectacular and that we'd look good together if I wore my blue suit."

She smiled at him.  "Okay."

Jigen coughed, then got up to get another glass of wine from the bar.  His daughter had just made her first date for a formal event and it was with a good assassin candidate.  He wasn't sure if he should praise his baby's taste or shudder in horror.  "Give me a shot too," he ordered calmly.  The bartender gave him an odd look but got him one.  He slung it back then took his wine back to the table and his dinner.  His little girl leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome.  Just don't show him the bad baby pictures," she pleaded.

"I'd never do that to you," he promised, patting her on the back.  "They're in Murami's safe."

"Thank you!"  She grinned at Arsene.  "Are we showing the 'rents our dresses before the event?"

"No," she said with a shrug.  "Mine still needs hemmed so it's at the tailor's."

"Bix was helping me with something on mine," Melissa admitted.  "But I'm still not sure I like it.  I think it makes me look cute."

"It did," Arsene offered.  "But that other one made you look hot."

"Cute is better," Lupin assured her quickly.  "We'd rather you be cute."

Melissa opened her wallet and handed over the polaroid she had taken earlier, making his jaw drop.  "I looked better in the other one.  That one's a bit more something that Savannah would wear I think."

Lupin wiped the drool off his lips when Jigen kicked him under the table, handing over the photo.  "I couldn't help myself," he said weakly.

Jigen looked at the picture, then at his daughter before tenderly handing it back.  "I think I need a drink now."  He headed back to the bar.

"May I?" Brad asked.

Melissa smirked at him.  "You'll see that night."  He grinned and nodded, pushing back some of his black hair.  "Dark blue would be appropriate no matter which dress I wear."

"Sure," he agreed.  He could do that.  "Guys don't have to wear tuxes, do we?  I know we did last year."

"Our letters said formal gear," Lupin said with a shrug.  "That's why I've got this really great red dress.  Mom was *killer* when it came to finding us our stuff.  Even Lotus will look like a queen."

"Lotus is a queen of her clan," Ishi said dryly as he walked up to them.  "Ray's in bed, all snuggly and alone.  Dad's retired with a headache and Lotus is off at the dance tonight.  We should go," he told Lupin the Fourth.

"Dad?"

"Go," he said tolerantly.  "Brad, I'll expect you to not grope her tonight."

"Yes, sir, I'd never do anything she didn't want and I'll stick to kisses only."

"Good, because I got named the chaperone by my father and Uncle Marcus," Ishi said, staring him down.  Brad shrugged, that was fine with him.  "Okay, let's go."

"Me go?" Fred asked.

"Not until you're old enough to grab onto a girl properly and dance with her," Ishi told him, patting him on the head.  "When you start school, we'll start letting you go with us to clubs.  I first went when I was eleven."

"I was nine but I snuck out," Arsene offered as she wiped off her mouth.  "Later, daddy."  She kissed him on the cheek, then pinched Fred on the cheek.  "Be a good boy. No more trying to feed off pretty women."  She followed the others out the door, waving at their uncle as they walked past him.  "Dance tonight."

"Behave, girls," Jigen called after them.  Once they were gone he groaned.  "God damn it.  My daughter just got her first real date."  He slung back another shot and waved for a fourth.  The bartender gave him an understanding look and poured it for him.

***

Lupin and Jigen snuck into the dance with Misty, Xander's friend who ran all of the convention registration desks, watching their kids on the floor.  Melissa and Brad looked good together and she was smiling up at him, while only one of his hands was on her waist.  Ishi was dancing with two girls and laughing.  Lupin the Fourth was checking some boy in the corner with Lotus, then they headed back out to blend into the crowd.  Lupin was giving the boys come hither looks and they were responding.  Lotus was giggling at some boy who had just said something in her ear but was dancing with him, her soda in her hand.  Jigen nudged Lupin when he saw the boy try to slip something into her drink, but Lotus caught it before they could move in.  She very gently took him out of action and tossed him into the corner with the passed out boys.  "What happened to them?" Jigen asked Misty.

"They were drunk and being obnoxious.  Lotus dealt with them and one of them came after Lupin's butt so she kicked his in return for the pinching he was doing," she said proudly.  "Their parents are already on the way in."

"Good," Lupin agreed, watching his little girl.  It was like watching Xander on the dancefloor with cute people.  "Xander taught her that too," he said sadly.

"I noticed.  Melissa dances just like him too," Jigen sighed.  He chuckled as Brad got another boy in the nose for daring to touch his girl.  "I like him," he decided.  Lupin nudged him and grinned.  They both looked over as the door opened and Vecchio and Goemon walked in.  "On duty?"  Vecchio nodded.  "Lotus," he said, pointing at the bodies.

"Wonderful."  He stopped to watch the kids on the floor, shuddering for a moment.  "I thought Xander was good."

"They're naturals.  They've got good rhythm and the music loves them," Jigen said simply.  "Goemon, Ishi's being flirted with."

"So I can see."  He coughed between songs, getting some kids looking at him, including his son, who grinned and waved.  A faster techno song started and the crowd started to writhe, including his daughter.  He growled but Lupin kept him from going out there.  "Let me go," he ordered calmly.

Lupin made the other father look at the bodies.  "Your daughter did that," he said proudly.

Goemon shook his head and got free, heading out there to drag his children away from the others. His son obediently came when tapped on the shoulder but his daughter smacked at his hand.  To be fair she was facing away from him.  He tried to grab her arm but then had to defend himself because she tried to throw him onto the ground.  "Daughter," he said firmly.  "Now."  She looked startled when she saw him and shrugged, following him off the floor.   "Are you all right?"

"Daddy, I'm not a doll," she said firmly.  "I'm fifteen.  I can dance and play with the other children when I want to," she snapped, heading back onto the floor.

"Daughter!"  She growled as she turned, he heard it under the music and could see it in her face.  "You will obey."

"You will fuck off," she retorted.  "I'm going to go have fun now.  I don't get a lot of chances to do that with people who believe I'm not fragile."  She headed back out, going to the far side of the floor.

Ishi coughed.  "Dad, maybe you should talk to a few of the teachers at the school," he offered gently.  "She's not fragile.  She pulled her own, very difficult, job for the project.  The rest of us went for easy things because we knew we'd have to monitor the other kids.  Lotus did something so difficult she got yelled at for it.  The teachers thought it was dumb, but very well done.  She's not fragile.  Maybe you should give her a real test, father."

"She won't be doing that."

Ishi hit him on the arm.  "Dad, grow up.  She's better than I am and she's got your style."  He went back onto the floor, rejoining his friends.

Lupin looked around Jigen at his friend.  "Maybe you should test her tomorrow.  There's a gym here.  She can use Ishi's sword."

"She uses a sword?" Jigen asked.

Lupin nodded.  "I've caught her with one," he admitted.  Goemon frowned at him.  "She's been pulling Xander moves," he admitted.  "I thought I was going to catch Xander doing katas and I caught her.  She's just as good as you are, only without the will to kill things."  He walked over to where Vecchio was waking up the kids, kicking one who was clearly faking on the foot.  "Get up or I'm letting her helpers come get you up."  Most of the boys groaned and sat up, all but two, one of which was still unconscious and the other was holding his head.  "Seeing double?"

"Going to be sick," he said in a tight British accent.  "I'm never drinking again, dude."

"Good.  Bathroom's behind you and about fifty feet away," Vecchio told him.  "Come right back out here or else.  You can be arrested for underage drinking."  The kid groaned and got up, running that way to get sick when the world started to spin.  Vecchio looked at Lupin, then glanced back at the other two.  "What's wrong?"

"Goemon's not seeing his daughter as a reality."

"Hmm.  Isn't that a traditionalist thing?"

"Kinda," he admitted.  He helped one boy up and steadied him.  "Bathroom's that way, follow the sick sounds."  The boy headed that way, hand over his mouth.  "I'm damn glad my kids don't do this."

"You and me both.  Lupin the Fourth's dangerous enough without liquor," Vecchio said bitterly.  He stood up with a small moan.  "Speaking of which, I owe her for bruising a rib."

"She's sorry, she was stressed," Lupin said with a small smirk.  "You know how bad it can be to teach morons who think they know more than you."

"Yeah, but still!"

"She'll apologize or I'll ground her again," he offered.  Vecchio snorted.  "Really."

"Fine."  He got the one who was still out awake and standing, then led them away.  He could come back for the other two.

Lupin walked back to Goemon's side, giving him a look.  "You okay?"

"No."

"Give her a try then," Jigen offered.  "It's the only way to know."

Goemon nodded and walked off, heading up to his room again.

Lupin grinned at Jigen.  "I'll see you later.  Misty, my love, would you like to dance?"  She chuckled but let him lead her out there to writhe with the kids.

Jigen shook his head and leaned against the wall, being the responsible adult of the group yet again.  He stared at his daughter for a bit, but Brad was behaving.  He had kissed her but it was gentle and quick.  He could get to like that boy if they made it serious.

***

Lotus woke up to a rude shove to her arm.  "What!" she demanded grumpily.  She hadn't gotten hardly any sleep last night.  She opened her eyes, then frowned at her father.  "Yes, father?"

"Practice, downstairs, ten minutes," he ordered.  "Bring a sword or sticks."  He walked away, closing her room's door behind him.

She raised an eyebrow, then sighed and got up, going to take a quick shower.  She found her brother in there brushing his teeth.  "Am I going before or after you?"

"You're going instead of me," he said softly, staring her down.  "Uncle Lupin caught you.  It's time to show your ass, sister dear."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Good luck kicking his ass."

"I should?"

He nodded.  "You should.  He's gotten to the point where he believes what others are telling him.  Finally."  He pushed her toward the shower.  "I've got my practice blade in my case.  I'll get it for you."

"Thanks."  She got into the shower and turned on the water, then started on her hair.  She'd have to hurry so she had time to warm up.  When she finally got down there she was a few minutes later.  "Sorry, Ishi was in the bathroom."

"That's fine.  Do you need time to warmup?"  She nodded, picking a corner to stretch and bounce in.  He watched her, not having seen his baby girl this way before.   She was very strong.  She had good conditioning.  She stripped down to a pair of shorts and a sports bra, then grabbed what he recognized as his son's old sword.  He nodded at her choice and stepped forward, taking off his gi.  "Whenever you're ready," he offered.

She gave him a long look.  "That's the only place where I take after Xander," she noted.  He shrugged and did a light thrust, and she countered by blocking it and trying to eviscerate him.  He frowned but matched her intent.  He wouldn't intentionally try to hurt her but he was going to go fully out like he did on his son.  It was time to test his daughter.  By the time she fumbled he was sweating heavily and panting and so was she.  "Halt," he ordered.   He bowed deeply to her.  "Very well done."

"Thank you."  She bowed back.  Then she flopped down, staring up at him from her position on her back. "I'm tired now."

"So I can see."  He sat down next to her, staring down at her.  "You are my daughter," he said, choosing his words carefully.  "You do my style of fighting, as is proper.  You are still a girl however, and the codes do not say anything about female samurai.  However, they do say things about female assassins."

She patted him on the arm.  "I hate to kill things, father.  I'm still very empathic with most things.  I'm simply not the china doll you thought I was for the last fourteen years."

He nodded.  "So I saw.  You're very well trained.  How?"

"You wouldn't so I went to Ishi and Mom."

"Ah."  He nodded once, having expected that from what others had said.  "Very well.  I will continue your training.  There are still things you can learn."

"Thank you, father."  She sat up, shifting to face him.  "Can I please be trusted not to be a whore like Sierra or a dolly that needs protecting from the world?  I'm not some delicate court lady."

"No, you are not," he agreed dryly.  "Do you wish to take training as an assassin?"

"I have been, dad."  She pulled something out of the scabbard and handed it over.  "The other half of my report card.   My herbology teacher was collusion in getting me trained by the assassin's sword teacher.  Brother didn't know."

He nodded once, then pulled her closer to kiss the top of her head.  "Then I accept you as your are, daughter.  You are not fragile.  You are just as strong as your brother, even if you do have days when your moods are overtaken by your hormones."   He let her go and gave her a gentle smile.  "You have proved your point."

"Thanks, dad.  Would you like to see my dress for the formal event?  I'm really not sure about it.  It's pretty and I look good, but I don't like it."

"If you'd like, though I do not claim any knowledge of fashion.  You could go in a formal kimono."

"I'd rather be able to move in case something happens."

"I understand.  That is why I wear what I do instead of more formal clothes."  He stood up and helped her up, giving her a real hug.  "I'm proud of you," he said quietly.  "Do not let it go to your head, but you did very well."

"Gee, dad," she said with a smirk for him.  "Way to improve my ego."

"You and your brother both have no problems in that area."  He handed her the scabbard and nodded at her to put it up.  "Let's get cleaned up for brunch."

"Yes, daddy.  Would you ask Uncle Lupin to help me?  Mom said she didn't like it either but it was the only one that looked decent on me that we found."

"If you'd like," he said patiently.  His girl was still a girly girl, she was not one of those tough Amazons.  He could relax that his daughter wasn't going to turn into one of those horrible women.  He walked her into the main room, nodding at Lupin, who was lounging with his newspaper.  "She is very good."

"We saw," he said dryly.  "They have cameras in there."  He noticed Lotus was blushing.  "Very well done," he praised.  "And yeah, Xander said to help you if you couldn't find anything else.  He said he hated it on you."

"It's the only one we found I looked decent in."  She pushed up her ponytail. "Let me shower again."

"Of course."  The adults waited while she headed back to her room for another quick shower, then Lupin looked at Goemon.  "It's white.  It's clingy, and it's not that great on her figure.  She doesn't have the body to carry it off."

"That does not ease my mind," he noted as he sat down.  "She was good."

"She was very good.  It was like watching a young you with breasts," Lupin said smugly.  "Xander did very well teaching her the traditional methods."

"Xander did," he agreed.  "Now it's my turn."

"Agreeable.  Is she going back?"

"Yes.  I like her at the academy.  They are helping her."  He handed over the other page of her report card.  "She hid it from me."

"You were kinda fierce on her being a little girly girl," Lupin said patiently, glancing at it.  He sat up, rereading it carefully.  "Wow."

"Indeed," he agreed smugly.  He stood up.  "I'm for a shower.  I'll be right back."  He headed into the bathroom.

Lupin got up and went to wake Jigen up, handing over the report card.  "Lotus.  I taped it for you."

"Thanks."  He read it, nodding slowly before handing it back.  "I'm impressed."

"So was Goemon.  We're helping her with her dress."

"Fine."  He got up and got dressed, coming out to the living room.  Lotus came in a few minutes later with her dress bag. "Xander said he hated it on you."

"It's a pretty dress, but it's definitely not me," she noted.  She looked around. "Showering?"  Lupin nodded, getting comfortable before tossing over the report card.  She blushed.  "Sorry, Uncle Lupin.  I know how much you hate us doing that."

"It's understandable," he offered.  "I still hate it.  No more hiding it, Lotus."

"Yes, sir."  She went into Jigen's room to change, coming back in the slinky white dress.  "It's too long, I already know that.  I don't know why I don't like it but I don't."

"For one thing it's very thin," Jigen offered.

"I know, it's very immodest, that's another thing I hate about it.  Unfortunately all the other dresses were either worse, strapless, or looked worse on me."  She looked over her shoulder as her father came back in.  "Well, here's the fashion disaster."

He paused, looking at her.  "It is not modest."

"I know that, father," she said, rolling her eyes.  "It was the best there was."

"Again, I can only hope you would wear proper formal clothes," he offered, sitting down to look at her. "It does not fit around the chest area either," he offered, blushing brightly.

"Let me put on the bra too."  She went into Jigen's bedroom and put on the bustier under it, then put on her heels.  She strolled back out, making her father whimper.  "Exactly."  She held out her arms.  "Uncle Lupin, we really couldn't find anything better."

Lupin got up and walked around her.  "Well, it's a good color on your skin.  It's got a nice cut.  It's too long in the torso, too long overall as well."  He sat down again, staring at her stomach.  "Okay, I've got a decent place to look.  Get changed."  She nodded.  "If you're wearing that bra, keep it on and bring the shoes."  She nodded, going to get changed.  He looked at the other adults.  "Get on shoes and things."  He took Lotus' arm when she came back out with the bag, leading her down to the car with the other fathers behind them.  "I'm taking you to one of my favorite shops.  They did a lot with your natural mother so I never took Xander there.  I think they'll be able to help you."

"Is that where she got that blue dress?" Jigen asked.

Lupin grinned back at him as he held the elevator door open so they could exit in the garage.  "Sure was."

"I'd like her in something modest," Goemon complained.  He got into the back with his daughter, helping her fold the dress bag carefully.

***

Lotus walked the new dress into her room and looked at the girls.  "We found something," she said happily.  "Uncle Lupin took me to where my natural mother used to get her dresses.  We found something white, nice, and modest that made me look great.  As long as I don't gain any weight or have bloat, I'll be perfect that day."

"Good," Arsene said with a smirk.  "We dosed Ray earlier.  It worked so he's been released into the wild."

"After being tagged on the ear," Melissa added with a smirk.  "That way we know where he is."  She sat down on the bed.  "Let's see!"

Lotus locked the door and changed into the formal gown, letting them see the fitted top and looser skirt.  It looked like a throwback to something Renaissance but she looked wonderful in it.  "Daddy Lupin made a joke that I looked like my father's favorite period in time."

"You do," Lupin agreed, grinning at her. "Nicely done, Lotus."

"Thanks.  And I've got an alternate in case."  She changed out of that one and into the alternate, which was tighter, sexier, and a pale cream color.  "Well?"

"I like it," Melissa said, gaping at her.  "I need a bra like that."

"You have one but you hate it," Arsene reminded her.  She frowned.  "I need better tits."

"You've got enough of those," Lupin called through the door.  "Change so we can have lunch, girls."

"Yes, sir," Lotus called, shimmying out of the second dress.  She put them both carefully back into the bag and hung it in the closet.  Then she pulled back on her jeans and t-shirt, heading out after her sisters.  "Okay, feed us," she requested with a grin.

"Of course we will.  If we can afford to feed Ishi, we can feed you three," Jigen joked.  He herded the girls out, taking them down to the special luncheon.  They met Xander, Ishi, and Bix down there.

"Fred?" Lupin asked.

"With Misty.  He's already tried to feed off her twice," Xander said dryly.  "The dress thing?" he asked hopefully.

"Fixed," Lupin said smugly.  "They used to dress her mother so I never took you there."

"Good job."  He kissed him on the cheek.  "Okay, let's eat.  I'm starved."  They trooped to their table, watching the performance from the fans who had planned the play.  Someone yelled and rushed up there with a dagger held high and his first instinct was to grab for his gun but Lupin held him down.

"It's part of that play," he soothed quietly.  He noticed Goemon and Ishi had both reacted that same way, reaching for a weapon.  As had Jigen and Melissa.  Arsene was nibbling on her lip but she didn't have anything on her.  He gave her a long look and she shrugged.  "Not packing?"

"Sorry, dad.  I couldn't find one at the house.  They're too heavy for me."

"We're fixing that later," Xander said firmly.

"Yes, mom."  She went back to watching the play.

Goemon looked at Lotus, who hadn't jumped.  "No reaction?" he asked quietly.

"I watched them practice earlier."

"Ah."  He handed over the pitcher of water so she could refill her glass.

All Grown Up and Mischief To Go

Rated R for language and threats of violence. Plus some squicky stuff with Fred.

Lupin looked out across the hall where the Academy was holding their regular summer meet-and-greet.  It was a nice place, very open, high ceilings, nice paintings.   The stone floors were nicely cleaned up.  The students were on the dance floor chatting and the parents were gathered in groups.  He was waiting with the others in his group for their kids to come in.  They had to change and had went up to their rooms to do that and do their hair.  Brad was with them.  The boy was probably more nervous than the fathers were.  Xander was grinning and chatting with another assassin, glancing at the door now and then.  Finally the doors opened and Lotus walked in.  Her cream-colored dress was not flashy but it suited her body so very well.  Goemon groaned and took a long drink from his glass.  His daughter was beautiful.  Her hair was done up in a formal bun and she looked quite adult.  His son walked in with another female on his arm, Lupin the Fourth.  Lupin looked stupendous.   Her red dress flowed over her body, highlighting all the tight muscles and her womanly body.  Her jewelry made her glow and her hair was slicked back lightly, waving out under the small chain of rubies in her hair that perfectly matched her dress.

Lupin the Fourth stopped in front of their fathers and curtsied.  "Hi, daddy," she said with a bright grin.

"Oh, my God," Lupin breathed, letting his crystal rock glass slip from his hand and break on the stone floor.  "Arsene?" he pleaded.  She winked and walked Ishi off.  His tuxedo looked wonderful on him, it fit perfectly and his hair was tied back tonight.  He looked suave and so very adult.  They made a cute couple.

Jigen gulped his drink, watching as his daughter slipped in, then let out a nervous chuckle.  His little girl wasn't so little.  She looked like Sylvia.  She looked a lot like her mother.  She had her mother's body.  She had her mother's face.  She had her mother's brains.  "Baby girl," he whispered.

Brad swallowed and stepped closer, holding out a hand. "Melissa," he said, his voice squeaking.  "You look...."  He looked her over again, making her blush.  "My God, you look so good.  More than edible.  More than perfect.  You look like a Goddess."  He pulled her closer and kissed the back of her hand.  "My Goddess."

She blushed again but did smile at him.  "Thank you.  It's not my usual outfit."

"No, but you look...."  Words left him and he could only stare at her.  "Dance with me?" he asked finally.

"Sure."  She led him out to the floor, letting him lead them off to the quiet classical music.

Lupin nudged Jigen gently.  "They're not babies any more," he said sadly.

"She's Sylvia, only sweeter," Jigen said quietly, staring at her.

Lupin nodded.  "I noticed."  He stared at his daughter for a few moments, then at Melissa.  "My God, we have beautiful daughters."  He looked at Goemon.  "We need pictures."

"I'm wearing a button camera," he admitted. "I caught them as they came in."  He went to get another drink, nodding politely at the Headmistress.  "They look very grown up."

"They're wonderful thieves, gorgeous children, and intelligent human beings.  You did very good, Goemon.  Many parents have this same realization at these events."  She patted him on the hand.  "Come along, let's get Lupin and Jigen another drink."

He nodded, leading her back to the group.  He saw Marcus leaning against the wall with a traditional videocamera.  "Did it not work?"

"No, it did, but I wanted something with higher resolution," he said with a grin.  "They look marvelous."

"They do," Lupin sighed sadly.  "They're grown up."

"Not yet.  They're still only fifteen," Xander promised as he came over to join them.  "They picked them out, except for Lotus."  He walked out, tapping Lotus on the shoulder.  "Dance with me?"

"Of course, mom."  She took his hand, letting him lead her onto the floor.  "Why are people staring at me?"

"Because you look hot," he promised her.  "You look outstanding and people think you're hot and want you."  He spun her around, smiling at her.  "That's why you do these things, to prove that you're nearly an adult now, Lotus."

She nodded.  "I understand."  She glanced around, watching the people watch them.  "Man, Arsene and Melissa have so many people staring at them."

"As do you," he promised, spinning her out to bring her back, smiling down at her.  "Come along, I'll release you to some dashing young prince of crime."  She gave a nervous chuckle so he walked her off, handing her to one boy who had bowed to them.  "I trust you to treat her correctly during your dance."

"Thank you, Lavelle.  Lotus is safe with me.  She's a beautiful woman."  He led her out, cradling her gently in his arms as they danced off.  He said something and she relaxed against him, laughing gently at what he had said.

Xander grinned at Lupin, taking her out next.  "Baby girl," he whispered.  She pinched him and grinned up at him.  "Gods, you're gorgeous. All three of you are so pretty tonight.  Much better than I ever was."  He smiled when she blushed.  "You are.  Ah, the father," he said, handing her off with a bow.  He looked around and found Melissa and Jigen dancing.  He looked at Brad, who was standing next to him.  "I'd offer but you might get insulted."

"That's fine," he assured him.  "I don't do men."  He grinned up at the older assassin.  "She did a great job."

"She did it herself," he promised.  He patted him on the back.  "Go steal her after her father gets done with her."

"I think he and Lupin are going to switch off."  Brad pulled at his collar.  "Sir.  I think I love her," he said quietly.

"Then you're a good man to her or else."  Brad nodded quickly.  "Then I won't complain.  As long as you're good to her and she's happy."  He saluted him with his champagne.  "I won't butt in, kid."  He strolled off, taking the Headmistress onto the floor.  "They found their dresses but Lupin had to help Lotus," he bragged.

"They're stunning," she agreed happily.  "The enrollment has went up ten percent this year because they're here."

He winked and grinned down at her.  "Of course.  They want to get next to them."  He spun her off and waved.  "I'll be back later."

"Sure, Lavelle."  She watched him walk out, then turned to watch her students.  Many of them were staring at her star pupils.  The girls were the belles of the ball and Ishi was being courted as the crown prince of crime.  Most of the adults in the room were staring at them or instructing their children to make friends with them.  She looked at the doors and saw it close behind Lavelle's back.  She frowned but wiped it away quickly.  It was too important a night to worry about such things.  She squeaked as Lupin pulled her closer.  "No more dancing with your daughter?" she asked in a teasing tone.

"No, she got stolen from me by a boy."  He shook his head.  "My daughter could get so much ass tonight if she were old enough."  She swatted him so he grinned.  "She is a Lupin."

"She is," she agreed.  "And the boys drool over her like you did Fujiko for years."  He nodded, looking sad.  "They're wonderful thieves, Lupin.  They're beautiful women.  You should be proud."

"I am but it's depressing on some levels."  She nodded, patting him on the arm.  He glanced around.  "Where's Xander?"

"He just left."

"Why?"

"I don't know," she admitted.  "He had that air of fake cheer."

"Hmm."  He took her hand, leading her out onto the floor.  This was the first year the band was danced to in as long as he had attended these things but it was getting a good workout this year.  He and Jigen switched off, leaving him with Melissa again.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Did Mom skip?"  He nodded.  "Hmm.  Are you still not sleeping with him?"  Lupin looked stunned. "It's been kinda obvious.  He's been back in his own room again," she shared.  She smiled up at him and kissed him on the cheek.  "Maybe you should take him home later and have him the way you used to when he was her."  She stepped back at the end of the song, clapping gently with the others.   She wandered off to find her boyfriend, making him blush when she leaned against his arm.  "Thirteen more months," she whispered.  He swallowed and nodded, leading her back onto the floor after nodding at the adults next to him.  "Your parents?"

"After this dance," he promised.  "My mother."

"I chased down Vecchio to ask him why he nearly fainted when he saw you back at the convention.  He admitted about the assignment."

Brad nodded.  "Came as a big shock to me too, but he was decent to me," he admitted. "That's how I knew it wasn't my old man.  I kinda liked his style though."  He dipped her then pulled her back up, having to blink a few extra times because he had caught a good look at her cleavage.  "Wow.   You don't look fifteen."

"Well, my mother is American and they do develop a bit faster," she said smugly.  "The sad thing is that they're still growing."  He blushed deep red and she chuckled.  "Sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you."  She snuggled into his body as a new slow song started.  "You look adorable tonight."

"Not hot and sexy?"

"Well, yes, but adorable is higher in my book," she promised, stroking his ego gently.   He beamed at her.  "Ooh, Trish just pinched Ishi again.  She's going to want to make good on that promise someday soon."

He snorted.  "Your friend has better taste than the dorm whore."  Ishi glanced over at them so he smirked back, running a hand over her back to tease him.  Ishi raised an eyebrow.  "He's unarmed right?"

"Do you think that matters to him?" she said dryly.  "Or to Lotus?"

"No."  He made sure his hands stayed as respectful as they could for the rest of the night.

***

Xander sat down at the bar in London, waving the bartender over.  "Beer me."

"Any particular brand?"

"Decent flavor but not too strong and not Killians or that Aussie beer."  The bartender nodded and poured him a German import, putting it in front of him.  Xander put down two hundreds, making him look stunned.  "My daughters had their first formal event tonight."  He pulled out the pictures he had taken earlier, showing them off.  "They're almost fifteen."

"Wow," the bartender said in awe.  "They're beautiful."

"Yeah," he said with a goofy grin.  "They're my babies."  He saluted him with his glass.  "Just feed me one when I'm empty.  I'm not driving."

"Yes, sir."  He left the pictures there and went to serve someone else.

Xander glanced over as the door opened a bit later.  This wasn't exactly the most hip of all clubs but it was a nice bar to be quiet at and the guy who walked in looked like he was in the wrong place.  He seemed familiar but fairly calm.  He wasn't another thief or assassin as far as he knew, but the guy sat down next to him.  "Hi."

"Hi."  He grinned.  "I'm Alan."

"I'm Lavelle."  They shook hands.  "Bad night?"

"No, I just killed on stage, I'm recovering."  He grinned again.  "You?"

"My daughters had their first formal event tonight," he sighed, handing over the pictures.

"Wow.  I don't like girls and they're damn hot."

Xander grinned slightly at that.  "They're almost fifteen."

He handed them back.  "I'm not sure I should be saying things like that then.  Might get me into trouble."  He smirked at him.  "So, your daughters are pretty and hot. You're drinking to forget it?"

"No, I'm drinking for whole other reasons," he admitted, taking another drink.  "I'm drinking because my lover hates me because I'm male now."

"Trans-op?"

"No, choker."  He shrugged lightly. "I'm *that* Lavelle."

"I figured that.  No many people have that shade of silver hair, mate."  He fingered a strand of it.  "It's not dyed."

"Nope, it's natural."  He grinned a bit brighter this time.  "Radiation before you ask."

"Wow."  He let the hair go.  "So, your lover's not treating you well.  Let me guess, the rumors of that choker were correct?"  Xander nodded.  "Wonderful.  And now you're male and he won't sleep with you?"

"Got it in one.  It's been nearly nine months since I got laid properly," he sighed.

"That sucks," Alan agreed, brushing back some of his dark hair.  "That can be fixed."

"I'm banned from the local houses of ill repute.  I made six girls and a guy pass out the last time I went."  The bartender bringing him his next drink gave him an odd look.  "Yeah, I'm bi," he agreed sarcastically.  "And damn good at it all."  The bartender blushed and headed off after delivering the beer.  "Sorry if I just squicked you."

"Not me.  That's actually kinda interesting.  How did you get that manor house?"

"She wanted to get off.  I got her off again and again and she ended up dying right after her nephew walked in on us.  Pity, she was a great and nice older lady," he sighed before taking another drink.  "Now I've got a manor house, a title that I can't really use until I retire, and a doctor's appointment in the morning."

"Why?"

"My knees ache."  Another drink. "I don't look like it, but I'm nearly forty-five now."

"No, you certainly don't.  You maybe look twenty."

"Thanks."  He glanced at him.  "Do I know you?"

"I'm a comedian and actor."

"Oh, yeah, I saw that 'coming out' special on Comedy Central the last time I was resting and I thought you kicked ass.  I loved the priest routine."  The man blushed a bit.  "You looked good in that skirt."

"Thanks.  They're fairly comfortable.  You should try it sometime."

"The closest I can get is a kilt.  I got given one as a 'thank you' for breaking a guy in.  It took me forever to find out how to wear the thing and the last time I did Lupin laughed at my legs."

"He's a bloody ungrateful idiot then."

"Yeah, but he's Lupin the Third."

"So?  You're Lavelle."

"Yeah, but he's my boss and they trained me," Xander sighed, taking another drink. "Unfortunately I don't meet the tits requirement.  Nor am I ever planning on doing so again.  I hated that necklace.  I started to forget what it was like to be me."

"I bet.  It'd confuse me too."

"Oh, it is.  It's locked away and powerless for now.  No one's using it anytime soon."  He finished off his first beer and started on his second.  "Want one?  I can treat."

"No, that's okay.  I've got one," he said, holding his up.  "They know me here," he added with a grin.  "Want to hit a table?"

"Sure, why not."  He followed him back to a corner table, flopping down to get comfortable.  "The Academy was hosting a meet-and-greet tonight, that's why I'm in the monkey suit."

"You have an Academy for that stuff?"

"Yeah.  It's been around forever.  The kids are there at the moment."  He looked at the pictures.  "That's Lupin the Fourth."  He laid that one down.  "That's my baby Melissa.  The other two are Goemon's kids.  Lotus and Ishi, the Fourteenth. "

"Wow."  He looked at Melissa.  "She looks a lot like you."

"She's mine," he admitted with a grin, leaning closer. "Labor hurts."

Alan snickered, patting him on the hand.  "You're much braver than I could ever be about those things, Lavelle."

"You can call me Xander.  Not many do."  He snorted. "Only my best friend, the cop, and Jigen and Lupin at home."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, but it's my life."  He saluted him with his beer.  "What a wonderful life it is too."  He gulped a few swallows then put it down.  "I'm not sure if I'm happy that the older kids are ready to go out on their own or not."

"Don't you have others?"

Xander chuckled, but it still sounded sad.  "Yeah, there's Fred, he's Lupin's son.  He's exactly like Lupin and his older sister.  The last fandom convention we went to he was hitting on some Amazons.  He's six.  He got away with trying to breastfeed and trying to crawl up their skirts.  There's Kenji and Yu, Goemon's other kids.  I've got Sarah, Fred's twin sister who's got a small heart condition, and Alex, the next-to-last baby of the family.  They're good kids but it's depressing that the older ones are already gone.  Plus the two good girls who're not really associating at the moment.  They decided to do a police camp straight out of school so they wouldn't have to come home this summer. I've already lost them."

Alan laid a hand on top of his.  "They're still around, you can talk to them."

"They hate me.  I stopped them from being the school sluts," he admitted dryly.  "Got them into a different school and forced them onto birth control."

"That sounds like a parental thing to me," he offered.

"Did to me too but they still hate me for it."  He shrugged.  "I got used to them not liking me that much years ago, even though one of them is Melissa's twin."

"You had two sets of twins?"

"To my bad luck and utter pain and horror, yup, sure did," he agreed smugly.  "It hurts worse, trust me."

"I think I can do that."  He gave him a small grin.  "Why else are you in town?"

"Just to go to the doctor's tomorrow.  The guy I'm seeing is great with knees.  He's seen my knees before so as long as I don't get pawned off onto his partner we'll be fine.  Maybe they'll end up replacing them."

"Aren't you still a bit young for that?"

"Yeah, but it beats taking medicine each and every morning for the rest of my life," he noted. "I hate taking pills.  I can't give myself injections and I hate pills with everything in me.  My party days are *long* over," he sighed.

"You used to be a party boy?"

"Before I got the silver hair," he admitted shyly.  "I was a cute boy who was a bit bigger than a twink and a bit smaller than the other cute boys in the gay clubs.  It got me some attention.  I used to break in a lot of twinks who were scared to go to a 'real' guy.  They thought because I was smaller it'd be easier."  He grinned.  "It's an old, dirty secret in my life."

"So I can tell.  You know this isn't a gay club, right?"  Xander nodded.  "That's fine, I'll expect you to fight whoever complains."

Xander snickered.  "Who's going to fight me?"

"Good point," Alan admitted after considering it.  Not too many people would fight him.  "Well, if they do, I'll cheerlead for you."

"Sure.  I kick ass in many styles."

"I'm supposing that's part of the job?"

"No, that's called I'm hyperactive and don't sleep much at night so I had to do something.  That's also how I learned accounting, Russian, Latin, Japanese, Italian, and Arabic.  Along with some minor electronics and computer skills that really aren't worth mentioning most of the time."

"Wow."

"Yeah, not being able to sleep more than four hours a night can be very helpful if your body cooperates.  Then again, it gave me more time to party when I was younger too."

"I bet," Alan agreed.  "Say, there's a decent enough club nearby if you'd like to go."

"Nah.  I'm not into noise tonight.  Maybe tomorrow, after I get whined at by the doctor, but not tonight.  Got anything going on tomorrow night?"

"No, not really."  He looked him over.  "Did you just ask me out on a date?"

Xander grinned.  "I think you're pretty neat and I can even treat to dinner first if you'd like."

Alan chuckled and nodded. "Fine, Xander.  We can go out to dinner and dancing tomorrow night. There's a wonderful drag show I know about.  I've got a friend in it."

"I haven't been to a drag show since I was nineteen," Xander admitted, looking up at the ceiling.  "Of course, that was the year I took a job stripping too.  It was at the club I was working at.  Hopefully these guys are better?  One of ours had a mustache."

Alan smirked.  "Much better.  A few you can't tell."

"Then I'm all for it."  He grinned and they clinked glasses.  "It's a date."

"It's a date," Alan agreed.

***

Xander looked over as the doctor came into the room he had been stuffed into.  "Hey, doc."

"Alexander."  He pulled a rolling stool out and sat down.  "How are you?"

"I ache like fuck," he said dryly.  "Hence me coming back."

"I see."  He looked at the scans they had done earlier that day.  "I see you came prepared as well."  He put one up on the lightboard, letting his patient see it.  "Your cartilage is nearly gone, Alexander."

"Doc, I may not look it, but I've lived for nearly forty-five years."  The doctor looked stunned.  "Yeah, me.  It was an exposure to something a few years back that seemed to deage me.  It didn't keep my knees from aching however.  It eased off for a while but my knees have lived a hard life since I was fifteen and I started to work nights doing pizzas and other odd jobs.  Then came hunting, then the thing that got me the silver hair, then being with Lupin and them."  He had been honest with his doctor.  The Watcher's Council used this guy; Ethan had recommended him so he had been brutally honest about his life.  "All I want is something to fix it for a few more years."

"To be perfectly honest, you don't have a few more years on these knees, Alex," he said gently.  "You may not have a few more years before we have to replace them and you're too young for that."

"I know but with my job?"

"Then maybe it's time to retire, young man," he said firmly.  "Like all good warriors, you've got to retire sometime."  He looked at the scan, then at Xander again.  "Is the medicine helping?"

"I hate taking drugs."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, every morning when I first get up.  It takes about an hour and then I'm usually okay from then on but that hour is one hell of a bitch.  Fortunately it's usually before anyone else gets up."

The doctor looked over the chart again.  "Okay.  You've got two choices.  You can continue with the drugs for maybe a year.  We can do some more steroid injections into your knees to help, see if it won't start working up some new cartilage.  Or you can retire and not live in a lot of pain daily."

"Shit," he sighed, hanging his head.  "Now?"

"Now.  Or at least soon.  Arrange it so you can retire within a year."

"Yeah, I might have to," Xander sighed.  "No other hopes?  No replacement knees?"

"If you did, you'd be vulnerable while you were down.  You'd have weeks of rehab.  You'd still have some pain now and then and they'd still only last ten years.  You need to rest.  You've had a long, hard life on those knees.  Not to mention your wrists are starting to ache from what you reported last time.  Your shoulders are starting to ache from injuries there.  Alex, you're a trainwreck waiting to happen.  What happens if you don't get your pain pills soon enough and you end up in a shootout without them?  Or having to run without them?"

"Then the others could die," he sighed, still looking down at his traitorous body.  "If I slow down, would it help?"

"Not really.  The damage has been done.  Short of putting you in a wheelchair so you can't have *any* stress on those joints, I don't see them healing."

"I haven't been doing much recently," he offered.

"Has it helped?"

"A bit."

"But...."

"But I'm still doing my katas and I'm still walking around and I'm still jogging," he admitted.  "Plus I've got a date tonight to go dancing."

"Good for you," the doctor praised.  "I hope you and your boyfriend have fun."

"No, my boyfriend's been ignoring me," he said bitterly.  "I'm seeing someone nice who knows who I am and still wants to go out with me."

"Then you're damn lucky, my boy."  He patted him on the arm.  "Do you want a refill?"

"Please.  I'm totally out of both drugs."  The doctor looked at him.  "Yes, both of them.  Fred decided to feed some to the fishies in the pond."

"Fine," he agreed patiently.  "I know you're not overusing them."  He wrote out the prescriptions.  "There.  Anything else?"

"How long, honestly?"

"A year if you're lucky."

"Then I guess it's time to start arranging things, huh?" he said bitterly.  "I'm thinking a nap's in order."

"Take a hot bath, it'll help you later," the doctor suggested.  He left him there, going to make notes in his chart.

Xander slid off the table and pulled on his jacket, going out to pay his payment and head into the bright London daytime.  He winced, it was actually very sunny today and he had forgotten his sunglasses back in France.  He headed back to his hotel, going to do what the doctor had ordered.  He stopped for his drugs, a soda, a few pieces of chocolate, then headed up to his room.  He knew one of Gramps' cops was following him so he wasn't going to the townhouse this time.   He walked into his hotel room and grimaced at the cop sitting on his bed.  "If I ask, would you shoot me in the knees so I could have them replaced sooner and they'd quit aching?" he asked as he walked past him, slamming the bathroom door shut once he was inside.

Vecchio stared at the door.  "Xander, why are you in London?" he called.

"Doctor's appointment," drifted out of the bathroom.  Then the sound of something glass being thrown against the door right before Xander opened it and leaned in the opening.  "My knees are shot to hell," he admitted.  "My specialist is here.  Did you *really* want to hear more about this subject?"

"No," he admitted quietly.  "Are you okay?"

"Fuck no.  And I'd like to sulk in peace since I know you don't have a warrant to arrest me."

"Fine."  He stood up.  "Want me to call Ray for you?"

"No, I'm fine.  I've got time to quit sulking before my date tonight."  He closed the bathroom door again.

"Which crook is showing up?"

Xander opened the door again.  "They're ignoring my ass again.  I've got a real date tonight.  Which do you think for dinner?  The Wellington Club or a nice modern place?"

"Let her decide," Ray said with a shrug.  "I only take dinner dates when I cook."

"I can't cook," he admitted, closing the door again.  "Have a nice day, I'm going to be here all day."

"Sure, Lavelle.  You have a nice night."  He walked out, going to call his boss.  This was good, and very interesting, news for their team.  Lupin would be easier to catch without Xander!

Xander muttered and thought while he drew his bath.  "I guess I'm going to have to get meaner for this last year," he decided.  "I can't leave them or the kids that unprotected.  Poor Ray, I'll make sure he's incapacitated and gets the 'hurt in the line of duty' pension.  That way he'll be able to live off it and keep up his comic habit."

***

Melissa sat up two days later, staring at the 'celebrity gossip' show in horror.  "Oh, Gods," she whispered.  "Oh, Gods, no."

"What's wrong?" Lupin called from the hallway.

"Nothing, uncle."  She turned the channel but he had been walking into the room.  She tried to look innocent but he snatched the remote and hit the 'return' button, staring at the end of the article about Lavelle 'going out on the town' with a famous comedian.  "Um, Uncle Lupin, I'm sure he's a target or something," she offered.

"Comedians are poor," he growled.  "What is he doing?"

"What's who doing?" Jigen asked as he walked in.  "Why are you watching that filth? It's not award ceremony time."

"They were just showing exclusive pictures of Lavelle going out on a date," he told Jigen coldly.

Jigen paused for a moment.  "Well, it's not like we've been taking care of him.  I'm hoping he was careful," he decided, walking off to nurse his anger in private.

"How can you say that!  He's ours!"

"One of the skills Uncle Xander taught some of us was to think like him," Ishi said from his seat, continuing to read.  "In this case, Uncle Xander would probably be thinking that you never redid the vows, Uncle Lupin.  Nor are you officially married, nor are you paying any attention to him recently.  I believe it's been nearly nine months since you slept in the same room.  I'm supposing he felt like it was his right since you're not his by your actions."  He turned the page.  "Or I could be totally off base, but we are talking about Xander."

"Shut up, kid," Lupin said hotly, chasing after Jigen, slamming into the range to get into his face.  "Why is this our fault?"

"Because we don't pay attention to him," Jigen reminded him.  "He hasn't slept in the same room in months, Lupin, what did you expect?  The boy's got needs like yours and you're not satisfying him."

"Why is that only *my* job?"

"Because I can't force myself to do that with him when he's a guy," Jigen said coolly.  "Or don't you remember the last time I tried?"

Lupin shuddered.  "Never mind.  He's in London.  We should go retrieve our gunman."

"Leave him be, he'll be home eventually," Arsene said from the doorway.  "Worry more about other things, daddy, like whether or not he's retiring.  Vecchio just reported that Daddy Xander went to see someone about his knees in London.  The dating thing was because you were ignoring him.  The comedian is a very nice guy.  He makes him laugh.  You haven't done that in over a year."  Her father pushed her and slammed the door in her face.  "If the truth hurts, you're doing something wrong!" she called through the extra- thick door.  She went to help Melissa call their mother to warn him.  They left a long message on his voicemail, detailing everything they knew.  Goemon came in during it and was giving them odd looks by the time they hung up.

"Daddy's been out on a few dates recently.  He looked really happy," Melissa told him quietly.

"Good.  Happiness should be cherished.  What else is wrong?"

"Daddy went to see someone about his knees."

"He's been aching now for a few years," Ishi shared.  "He takes medicines each and every morning and doesn't do a lot of moving until they kick in."

"Why?"

"Think about it, Uncle G," Arsene said dryly.  "He started out having to run and jump and play with vampires and slayers.  Then he nearly died by torture.  Then he came into this job, which isn't exactly easy on the joints.  Why do you think he aches?"

Goemon sighed.  "I understand the aching, I do so myself."

"Yes, but you're not on narcotics for it yet, father," Ishi said dryly.  "Mother is."

"Oh."  He walked away, going to tell this to Lupin.  He tapped on the range door.   "Jigen, is Lupin in there as well?"  Lupin opened the door, giving him a cold look.  "How long has Xander been on medicine for his knees?  I would have taken it easier on him recently had I known."

"Excuse me, he's what?" Jigen asked.

"The children said he was on painkillers.  My son said multiple drugs and he takes them each morning, he mentioned narcotics."

Lupin stormed up the stairs, going into Xander's private room.  He found the bottles prominently displayed on the dresser and picked them up to read them, frowning at them.  "Mild pain killers."

Ishi coughed.  "Are those the same one?  He takes two of them, Uncle Lupin.  Fred managed to get one of the bottles and decided the fish should have them too."  He walked in and looked at them, then went into the bathroom, picking the lock on the cabinet door to get the other one.  "Here."  He handed it over, watching as his uncle sat down when the words hit his brain.  "He's in pain.  You ignore him.  Of course he went for someone who wasn't.   Even if you were married, it's entirely reasonable."  He walked away before his uncle could retaliate.

"Why is everything my fault?" he yelled.

"The injuries aren't.  The lack of attention is," Ishi yelled back.  "You can't take credit for fucking up his knees, his back, or his shoulders."

Lupin shuddered and put the pills down, staring around the room.  Xander had been living in here again, all his stuff from their room was now arranged in here.  "What the hell is going on?" he muttered.  "I pay attention to him.  I've talked with him recently.  We planned jobs together."

"Sometimes people need more.  My former wife had that same problem," Goemon said from the doorway.  "Xander's on the phone.  He'll be at the manor house for a few days then back here.  I didn't mention we knew about anything else."

"Thanks."  Lupin looked at him.  "What're we going to do about this?"

"There are two good choices.  Continue on even if he cannot join us all the time, or retire for good."  Lupin shuddered at those.

"We can pull less jobs once the kids come out," Jigen offered from the hallway.

"True, we could.  Then again, at our ages running would become harder each year," Goemon countered.

"I'm not that old!"

"Lupin, I know my age.  No matter how young I look, I am near sixty now.  Xander is in his forties.  Marcus is in his early thirties.  We have had a long and good run, but we are getting older.  It is not just him."  Lupin looked devastated at that pronouncement.  "Perhaps we should talk about this as a group.  It is time to look things over with a finer attention to detail.  I cannot scale the outside of a building as fast as I used to."

"Me either," Jigen admitted. "I've been feeling old for years now."

"There's got to be something we can do," Lupin whined.

"Lupin, the anti-aging potion was only able to be used once," Goemon reminded him.  "There's no other one.  We are getting older."

"Damn it, I'm not dying in some retirement home!" Lupin shouted, standing up again.  "That is not how I'm going out!"

"That is not how I envision my own death," Goemon admitted.  "I would prefer to be in my own bed with my sons and daughter around me, secure that I had done everything I have ever wanted to do and secure that the family legacy would be carrying on.  Preferably with a grandson there to make sure the family name carries on.  I am realistic however," he pointed out when Lupin stared at him.

"I don't particularly want to die on the job either, boss," Jigen offered.  "I know it's a possibility but it's not one I want to happen.  I'd also like to go before the kids did.  I'm hoping they get to be my age."

"I'm not ready for this conversation," Lupin said, storming out and heading down to his office to get plastered so he wouldn't have to think about this depressing thought.  He sat down with his favorite bottle and decided to test himself.  He pulled out one of the sample locks he had in his desk and a stopwatch, timing himself.  Nearly a minute, and he used to do it in forty-five seconds.  "Not yet," he complained, leaning back to drink.   "It's not time yet.  Grandfather went on into his eighties."

Arsene opened the door, looking at her father.  "Dad, didn't Great-Grandfather pick and choose his jobs instead of being generally on the run for the last half of his life?" she demanded.  He nodded, gulping his liquor.  "Then maybe it's time to consider that option.  Melissa and I don't want to do fifteen jobs a year either."  She walked in, shutting the door behind herself so she could sit next to her father.  "How fast?" she asked quietly, noticing the lock.

"Fifty-eight seconds," he said bitterly.  She sighed.  "Yeah, it's a bad time."

"Dad, I can't do it in that amount of time.  I suck at that lock," she reminded him.  She shrugged at his hurt look.  "We all know I have faults and that lock is one of them.  I twist it wrong each and every time."  She shrugged again.  "Now, you can be reasonable about this or you can sulk and hurt mom more.  Not to mention depressing the rest of us and making Uncles G and Jigen dwell on their ages.  Uncle Jigen's older than you both, remember?"  Lupin shuddered.  "So maybe slowing down some isn't such a bad idea.  Plan six heists a year instead of twelve or fifteen."

"I bet Fujiko doesn't have these problems."

She snorted.  "Yeah, because she had plastic surgery last year, dad.  There's only so much a push-up bra will do," she reminded him dryly.  "That and she had some wrinkles lasered off if what we heard was right."  She reached over and took the bottle from him, taking a swig of it before putting it on the desk.  "Daddy, you outdid the family's rep but *tons*, but you're still a daddy.  You could be a granddaddy in some countries by now," she said dryly, smirking at him.  "But fortunately Mom's got some common sense and stopped Sierra."  She grabbed his hand to hold.

"We hope," he said bitterly.

"She's at an all-girls' school.  Unless she's suddenly turned into a powder-puff sniffer, I doubt she's getting any."  She squeezed his hand.  "We all think it's time for you guys to pull less jobs.  Last year you only pulled seven."

"And most of us were bored out of our minds," Lupin said tiredly.

"So?  You've got the younger crew just old enough to teach now, dad.  Fred's going to need Mom's help if he's not going to turn into a slut monster. Not even I got away with breastfeeding when I was six," she reminded him with a grin.

"True, the woman shoved you away with a horrified scream when you tried," he remembered, grinning at her.  He pulled her closer to hug, letting her settle in his lap.  "It's just been a bad year, kiddo.  You're all grown up now.  Fred's growing up so fast.  Xander's dating someone not me and it's killing me."

"Then pay more attention to him, dad.  That's all he wants, is attention.  That comedian is very nice to him from what I've heard on the bulletin boards."  Lupin groaned.  "They figured he was some sort of target but they said that mom is laughing and happy.  They said they hadn't seen him that way since the Germany job a few years ago."  Lupin nodded against her shoulder so she hugged him.  "Dad, you've got it in you to fix that and to compromise here.  You can do it that way if you want, if you're willing to be a bit bored now and then. Just think about hard it's going to be for Mom when Alex has to go off to slayer school. He's going to want to train her himself."

"He's already training her himself," he muttered.  He looked up at her. "When did you get so smart?"

"When I sucked knowledge from you like a leech," she admitted with a grin.  "Didn't you feel me do it in the middle of the night when I was eight?"

He shook his head.  "No, but then again you always were the sneaky one," he said with a small grin.  "You think he'll come back?"

"He should.   Where else is he going to go?  The manor house is big and drafty to live there all year long."

"He's got houses all over the world, empress."

"Yeah, and we'll be popping around on those along with the ones you've got," she promised sweetly.  "Melissa and I want to do about eight jobs a year, max, if possible.  So we'll be around all the time."  He nodded, putting his head back down.  "Now all you've got to do is send for Mom to come back, daddy.  He'll come if you ask. He always has."

"You're right," he agreed, picking up the phone.   He hit the button for Xander's phone.  "Come home," he ordered quietly.  "Talk to me, Xander."  He hung up and hugged his baby girl again, then let her go with a pat on the back.  "Thanks, Arsene."

"Hey, what else is your female clone going to do?" she teased, kissing him on the cheek.  "By the way, what's the suit rule at the pool now?"

"Nothing that would embarrass Jigen," he said dryly.

"Shoot, take all my fun," she sighed, heading off to check on her clothes.  She was still growing and it was embarrassing.  "No bikinis outside, 'Lis.  Dad said so."

"I was only going to tan in mine," she said with a shrug.  "I can't keep the thing on when I swim, it's loose."

"Probably not anymore," Ishi reminded her.  "You went up two bra sizes this last time."

"Were you peeking?" Arsene demanded.

"No, but it's noticeable," he said dryly, giving her a long look.  She blushed.  "So please don't torment us with bikinis."

"Fine," Melissa agreed, going up to check on her favorite bathing suit.   It was tighter now but she thought she looked okay.  She grabbed some lotion and a towel, heading out to the pool.  She passed by Goemon, weathering his shocked look.  "I'm going to tan in the backyard by the pool."

"Put on some clothes," he squeaked.

She chuckled.  "It's not that bad!"  She trotted down the back stairs, patting Fred on the top of the head as she strolled past him.  "Hi, Fred."

"Sissy," he said, staring at her in awe.  She was pretty and she had soft, squishy, food-like things.  He started to follow her but found his big sissy in the way.  "Me go with her!" he demanded, stomping a foot.

"I doubt it," Lotus told him, taking him to the play room.  "You can't help Melissa sunbathe and you can't be out by the pool without a chaperone.  So you have to stay here until Bix wakes up."  She hurried up to get into her own suit, going to get a tan as well.  She trotted past Marcus, making him whimper.  She stopped to look at him.  "What?"

"Nothing," he muttered, walking away shaking his head.  "Please put on some clothes, Lotus."

"We're tanning by the pool," she said impatiently. "I can't tan in jeans."  She headed out to lay out by the water, finding a good seat in a nice spot of sun.  "That suit finally fits you," she told Melissa.

"I noticed. It's wonderful."

"It is, but I had to stop Fred.  He had his father's look on his face.  Watch your breasts."

"Ick!"

"Yeah, but this is Fred we're talking about."

"Yeah, I guess," she admitted, going back to her book.  She shifted some to get comfortable on the chaise she was stretched out on her stomach on.  At least until her father dropped something over her back.  "What are you doing?  I'm trying to tan!"

"Yer naked, go put on clothes," he complained, heading back to the house.

"I'm not!" she complained, sitting up.  "The suit fits properly, daddy."

His eyes bugged out when he saw her chest.  "Go put on clothes!" he said, pointing at the house.  "Now!  Before we get another invasion or something!"  She rolled her eyes and flipped back onto her stomach, shaking her head before she started to read again.  "I mean it, daughter."

"Daddy, it's not a thong."

"You're falling out of the top and I can see the crack of your ass.  Get something less tight or go put on real clothes," he ordered coolly.  "Or be grounded for the rest of the summer."

"But, dad!"

"Now!"

"Fine," she sighed, heading back inside.  She walked past her uncle, who was mixing something in a pitcher.  She heard the crash behind her and spun around, giving him a shocked look.  "What happened?  Was it a cramp!"

"No!" he squeaked.  He cleared his throat.  "Clothes, now, Melissa.  That's indecent."

"Uncle Lupin, are you all right?  You don't look so well and you're babbling."

"Melissa, that looks like something Fujiko would have worn.  Go put on something a little bit less skimpy."

"It fits!"

He grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing himself not to stare at her rack.  "Melissa Jigen, you are a young lady.  There are lecherous men all around this house.  Including a very impressionable one named Fred.  I don't care if that's fashionable.  It's two tiny pieces of cloth that barely cover your nipples," he said, forcing his eyes back up into hers.  "Do the world a favor and change, niece, before one of the dirty men in this house gets an idea that would make your father shoot us."

"It fits properly."

"Tough!" he said firmly, turning her around and patting her on the butt.  "Go put on a real bathing suit."

"This is the only one I have that's not obscene, thank you.  And don't stroke my ass next time, that's icky!  You changed my diapers."

"Melissa," he said, trying to hold onto all patience.  "It doesn't matter that I used to wipe your ass.  When you're in that outfit looking like that, you're not the niece I used to change and cuddle and sing to.  Now, go change before my very thin veneer of civility snaps.  Even Goemon would try to touch you in that outfit."  She shuddered and walked off shaking her head.  He leaned on the counter, holding his head. "God, why did I have daughters?" he muttered.  Ishi walked in and opened the walk-in freezer's door, then walked inside and shut himself in.  Lupin walked over and opened it.  "The quick version of a cold shower?" he guessed.

"More powerful than three pretty girls in bikinis," he said bitterly.  "And one's my sister.  I'm feeling nasty and dirty at the moment."

"So am I, Ishi, so am I," he sighed, walking in there to bond with him for a bit. Before he went up to teach Melissa all sorts of new and interesting things about life.  They both rushed out when they heard Melissa scream, running up the stairs to save her from whoever had just tried something.  "Fred!" Lupin yelled, grabbing his son to pull him off his sister's chest.  "Get off her, you're related to her!"  Ishi helped by breaking the suction of the little boy's mouth and Lupin carried him off, taking them all back down to the freezer for a chat.  "You can't nurse off her, she's not lactating.  I hope.  Never mind, you still can't nurse off her, Fred.  She's not a food source or a source of that sort of snuggling.  Melissa is your big sister and you'll treat her that way."

"But she's pretty and has big milk breasts," he said miserably.  "I just wanted to snuggle!"

"Fred, she's your sister, that would be icky," Ishi told him, patting him on the back.  "Like me kissing Lotus would."

"She pretty," Fred said helpfully.

Lupin let out a choked sob and took his son outside to hand him off to Jigen before diving into the lake. It was still frigid this time of year.

"What did you do?" Jigen asked Fred, staring down at him.

"I tried to suck off sissy," he said.

"Excuse me?" Arsene said, sitting up suddenly.  "You did what?"

"He tried to nurse off Melissa," Ishi clarified.  "Uncle Lupin and I were in the freezer when she screamed.  It was really hard to break his suction."

"Damn, the Lupin genes have passed on and possibly multiplied," Arsene said in awe.  "I never wanted to nurse off her."

"She's nearly the same age you are," Jigen snapped.  "I'd hope not."  He looked down at Fred again.  "You can't snuggle up to your sisters that way, it's not right, Fred.  It's bad and dirty and disgusting.  Do not do it again or I'm letting Goemon lecture you."  The little boy pouted. "Tough!  The answer is no!"

"But they're pretty and big, she'd made a good mommy," Fred offered.

Ishi caught Jigen when he wobbled.  "Uncle Lupin, your son is driving Uncle Jigen to a heart attack!" he screamed as he helped Jigen into a chair, checking his pulse.

Lupin came jogging up to them, handing Fred off to his sister. "What happened?"

"Fred just changed tactics.  He said Melissa had pretty and big breasts so she'd make a good mommy," Ishi reported bitterly.

"Oh, shit, Jigen.  I'm sorry my son's so warped.  Do you need an ambulance?  The doctor up the street maybe?"

Jigen pulled Lupin around to glare at him. "Keep your perverted offspring away from my baby girl before he molests her."

"He can't do that yet," Lupin reminded him, checking Jigen's head.  "I think I'm going to call the doctor.  Keep him here, put up an umbrella if you can."  He jogged up to the house to call the doctor who lived up the street.

"See, that's why you don't do those things," Arsene told her little brother.  "Because it can hurt people."

"Not to mention what it's got to be doing to Melissa," Ishi agreed.  Jigen moaned so he shifted the umbrella over to shade him better.  "There, how's that, Uncle Jigen?  Better?"

"No," he complained.  "Fred, go to your room."

"But I was good!" he whined.

"Now," Arsene ordered sternly, scowling at him.

He pouted at her.  "You not a nice sissy and you don't have pretty breastes like other sissies do!"  He stomped off, sniffling the whole way up to his room.

"I do so have just as good of breasts as they do!" she shouted after him.  She stopped when she heard Jigen moaning again, walking over to kneel beside him.  "It's okay, Uncle Jigen.  We're here.  We'll keep Fred from trying to nurse off her again.  We'll even keep Kenji and Yu from doing it," she offered.

He laid down, covering his eyes while she and Ishi attended to him.   This was not a good day.

His daughter came jogging out of the house in a t-shirt and cut off shorts, but you could tell she wasn't wearing anything underneath them by the way she was bouncing, and he could feel the pain in his head growing now.  "Go change," he hissed.  "No more bouncing."

"Dad, chill.  I'm covered, that's what you wanted."  She pushed Ishi out of the way to check him over, frowning at his pulse.  "Is someone calling an ambulance?"

"Daddy's getting the guy from up the street," Arsene offered.  She grabbed her towel and dipped it into the pool, folding it into a compress for him.  "Here, use this," she offered, helping him get comfortable.  "We'll be fine, Uncle Jigen, and you're not going to die.   We won't let you die.  Mommy would get *way* pissed and destroy half the world if you died."  He let out a weak chuckle at that old threat.  "He said so."

"He started that when he was carrying the girls," he told them.  "The day he found out."

"I bet.  I'd have killed you two on the spot," Melissa said dryly, grinning at him.  "Don't worry, daddy, I'm not making you a grandfather anytime in the near future.  There may not be a third generation because labor pains hurt."

He patted her on the hand.  "I leave that up to you, but go put on a bra.  Please?"

Lupin came jogging back out.  "Is he any better?"

"Not really," Ishi offered.  "Are we taking him to the hospital?"

"Yes.  It'll waste time to wait."  He looked around.  "I'll pull the car around to the side gate.  Can you guys help him that way?"

"He's not that heavy, we could carry him," Ishi offered.  Lupin nodded and ran off that way.  "Okay, everyone's got on shoes, right?"  They nodded so he helped Jigen up, then picked him up.  "Lead the way," he grunted.  "He's not as light as I thought."

"Here, let me take his feet," Arsene ordered, helping carry her favorite uncle out to the car.  They got him stretched out in the back seat, Melissa sitting back there with him to pat his hand and keep him calm, while Lupin drove and they huddled in the passenger's seat together.  "Someone's got to call Uncle Goemon."

"He knows.  I ran past him on the way to the phone," Lupin muttered, shifting up to go faster.  He knew this road very well, he could do a hundred down it.  When lights came on behind him, he flipped the person off out the window and sped up a bit more, taking the sharp turn into the hospital's parking lot on two wheels.  He spun into a place in front of the ER doors and got out to get Jigen a wheelchair and a nurse, a pretty one if he could manage it.  Only the best for his buddy.  "My friend's having a heart attack," he said.  "He's in the car."

"Of course, sir."  The receptionist pushed a button and people came running, following him to the car, where they pulled Jigen out and inside.  When Lupin came back, he stopped him and handed him the forms.  "Does he have his health card on him?"

"We've got private insurance," Ishi said, taking the forms to fill them out.  He was the calm one here.  "Go pace or smoke, Uncle," he ordered.  Lupin nodded, heading outside to catch a quick smoke and call the house.  "Melissa, sit.  Arsene, sit on her if you must."  He filled the forms out efficiently, then handed them back.  "That's all he's ever said about drug allergies."

"Thank you, young man.  Is he your father?"

"Uncle.  He's Melissa's father.  Arsene's is outside.  Mine is dealing with the reason for this attack."  Melissa moaned.  "It's not your fault.  It's Fred's," he assured her, tipping her chin up.  "It was not your fault.  Fred is a horrible little barbarian and it's his fault."  She nodded, pulling him closer to hug him.

"Should we call Brad?" Arsene asked gently.

"No.  I don't want him to see me this way," she sniffled.  "Someone's got to call Mom."

"I will," Ishi promised, continuing to pat her on the back.  When she was calm he walked outside and took his uncle's cellphone, dialing a number he knew by heart. "Father?  Did Uncle Lupin call you yet?  No, he's being looked over now.  Yes, she's fine. Melissa's in tears but I've assured her it wasn't her fault.  That it was Fred's."  He hung up and called the other responsible adult in the family.  "Mother, we're at the hospital with Uncle Jigen," he said softly.  "Fred just tried to nurse off Melissa and it devolved from there.  They're evaluating his heart at the moment."  He looked at Lupin, who was pacing and smoking up a storm.  "Yes, that one.  Please.  I'll keep you informed if we must move."

Lupin snatched his phone back.  "Where are you?"  He paused, then shook his head.  "Yeah, that's fine.  No, just get here as soon as you can."  He hung up.  "He's on his way back."

"Good.  If he could teleport here, you know he would," he soothed.  Lupin snorted.  "He would, we both know that.  He nearly did when I was injured."  He stopped, glaring at the man getting out of the car that had just pulled up.  "Go away."

"Kid," Zenigata said with a smirk.  "I do believe that there's a few warrants that weren't taken care of yet."

Ishi pulled a gun and pointed it at him. "Unless you want to need the facilities, I'd back the hell off and leave," he warned.  "He's having a fucking heart attack."

Melissa stomped out and took the gun, shooting him in the thigh.  "Go the fuck away," she growled.  "How dare you disrespect my father's condition that way!"  She was shrieking and she knew she was shrieking but she didn't care.  "How dare you!   We've always tried to treat you with some respect, even though you're an obsessive-compulsive bastard without a fucking clue!  We do more of your work for you than you do!  If it wasn't for Daddy Lupin, you would have died a long damn time ago!"

"Calm down," Ishi said quietly, taking the gun back before she could use it again.  She would kill him next time.  "Calm down and take a few deep breaths."

"Fuck calming down, Ishi!  He wants to arrest my father while he's fucking dying!"

"He's not dying," Lupin said, sounding positive of that fact.  "Jigen's stronger than that."  He pulled her closer, holding her as tightly as he could.  "He'll be fine, princess.  I promise you he'll be fine.  Jigen won't die because my son said you were pretty and you'd be a good mommy."  She shuddered. "I know.  I nearly had the same reaction.  Jigen will be fine.  We managed to save his life when Fujiko shot him with the anti-nicotine shot that made him allergic to cigarettes and he went cold turkey from four packs a day. We managed through all the allergy attacks.  We can handle this one.  We're not doing anything right now, it'll be fine," he promised, letting her cry on him.  "Shh, princess.  We're here.  He won't die.  You know Xander won't let that happen."

"Where is he?" Zenigata said, trying to sneer while clutching his bleeding thigh.  "Still out on the town with that poof?"

"Fuck you," Ishi reminded him.  "Shut up and go away or I'm going to blow your head off your shoulders.  I can do that in case you hadn't remembered," he said coldly.  The cop limped backwards, leaning against his car.  He noticed a guard giving him a fearful look.  "He's an asshole who wants to hurt our uncle.  Get him attended to in a different space, far  from my Uncle."  The guard nodded and helped the inspector inside, and Arsene let out a shriek right before Zenigata did.  "I believe she got him again," he said dryly, putting his gun back.  "Come along, Melissa.  We'll go for a walk until you can calm down."

She wiped her face off. "Okay."  She latched onto his arm and let him walk her off.

Lupin shook his head.  This was bad.  Fortunately no local cops had been called yet.  He called the house.  "Move the kids to one of the other safe houses," he ordered.  "Pack it all up and move it.  No, he's fine but Melissa just shot Pops for daring to show up," he said bitterly.  "Then Ishi took the gun and told him to back off or he'd finish him off and my empress got him in the leg with her foot.  No, not yet but I'm not taking that chance.  Get Marcus to do it, his magic should come in handy sometime."  He hung up and went back inside, calmer now that the kids had worn him out. "How is he?"

"He's going for a scan at the moment," the receptionist assured him. "He'll be fine.  The doctor will be out soon if you'd like to take a seat."

"Sure."  He sat down beside his daughter, pulling her closer to hug her.  "You didn't put on clothes?"

"Daddy, it was an emergency, be thankful I remembered to retie my top," she said dryly.  "Where's Mom?"

"On the train.  They just came out of the Chunnel."

"Okay.  Is he driving up?  He'll make better time."

"Yeah, I think so.  I'm having the house moved though, just in case."

"Gods, she was wonderful," she whispered.  She could feel her father nodding.  "She really is Jigen's little girl.  Her mother would have went for a killing blow."

"True.  I hadn't thought of that," he admitted.  "I'll have to share that with her dad when I can see him."  He looked over as Marcus and Goemon walked in.  "Do you have anything she can put on, Marcus?"

"Not that'd fit her," he admitted.  "Let me check my trunk."  He jogged back outside.

"If not, she can have my robe," Goemon offered quietly.  "How is he?"

"Doing tests," Arsene said, looking up at him.  "Melissa shot Gramps in the thigh, just like her dad would have."

"Xander would have killed him," Goemon agreed.  He sat down on the girl's other side.  "Where are the other children?"

"Taking a walk to calm Melissa down," Lupin told him.  "She cried on me after shooting him in the thigh."

"Then she'll keep her humanity.  He'll be very proud of her."

"I'm damn proud of her, she didn't hesitate at all," Arsene admitted, looking at him.  "She took your son's gun and did it."

"I'm not surprised."  He looked over as Marcus came back in. "Nothing?"

"I cleaned out the car last week," he admitted, shrugging a bit. "I brought everything inside to clean it."

"Here," Goemon offered, taking off his robe. "You wear that so you do not shock and stun more men," he ordered, handing it to Arsene.

She slipped into it and tied it properly.  "Thanks, Uncle G."

"You're welcome."  He got comfortable, nudging her when a doctor came out and stared at them. "I believe she's in charge of Jigen's care."

"How is he?" Lupin demanded, standing up.  "Is he going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine.  It wasn't a real heart attack but his blood pressure was very high.  He's resting comfortably.  We'd like to keep him tonight for observation."

"What would we need if we said no?" Arsene asked.

"A doctor in case something worse happened," the doctor said honestly.  "It was very close, young lady."  She clutched the chart to her chest.  "We won't be calling the local police force if that's your worry."

"Pops is an old annoyance," Lupin said dryly.  "He should have known better."  He looked at Goemon.  "How long?"

"Probably by tonight.  There is a lot of things at that house to be packed.  Fortunately most of Xander's things were shipped recently."

"Where?"

"The manor house," Arsene told him.  "He's setting up rooms there to show off his kimono collection and Uncle Ray suggested that he put his comics into storage, just in case something happened."

"Fine."  He looked at the doctor.  "You can have him tonight, but we'll be leaving early in the morning."  She nodded, handing him something to sign.  "Thank you, doctor."

"He's in very good shape for the life he leads," she admitted.  "He's a very strong man."   She walked away, going to admit Jigen to a private room. That way no one else would be exposed to the criminals.  She checked on her other patient, noticing him fussing.  "Do not bring more here.  They will not hold back," she ordered calmly.  "I don't want this hospital to look like one from a war zone."  He hung up and stared at her.  "He'll be leaving in the morning.  You will not be due to your injuries.  They'll have to rest him somewhere calmer.  You can deal with him then.  Not while there are innocents, including a floor full of pregnant women and children, in the way."

"I understand," he agreed.  "I'd never want to put innocents at risk."

She nodded.  "Good.  Then call your spouse to come see you."

"She is a cop.  We work together."  She rolled her eyes.  "I just did though."

"Fine.  We'll be putting you on a different floor on the other side of the building from him.  That way there's no possible danger to anyone else."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed.  "Not that my guys would hurt them."

"Really?  And what about those children?"

"They're actually too well trained to do that," he admitted.  "The one who shot me is the sick man's daughter.  She's a marksman."

"So I can tell.  She didn't hit the bone or the artery."  She checked his vitals and wrote them down.  "Since we've got the bleeding under control, we'll be doing an x-ray then sending you to surgery to close it.  You do have the option of staying awake if you're paranoid about them coming in to help or hurt you."

"No, they wouldn't do that.  The ones who would aren't here yet."  He considered it.  "I'd rather be awake though.  I hate being drugged."

"Very well."  She wrote that down as well and went to order a surgeon for him.  This was going to be a very long shift for her. She stopped to call her husband to tell him she loved him, then went to see the ear infection on the other side of the ER.  A normal case would help her mood a lot.

***

Jigen woke up and saw a shadow against the window.  "Xander?"

"Yuppers."  He walked over and smoothed back Jigen's hair for him.  "I'm here.  Gramps is upstairs and we've got a non-mingling thing going at the request of the doctors.  Yours wasn't sure we wouldn't be hurting others if they started again."

"That's fine."  He took his hand, holding it gently.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm not the one who had the near-heart attack."  He grinned.  "You're coming to my place after this.  Probably the manor house because it'd be safer.  There's still people following me around in London."

"What about your guy?"

"He's got the week off.  I was going to invite him up."  He shrugged. "I'll invite him to a nice hotel instead."

"We can stay in London."

"No, it's okay.  You need to be somewhere quiet and there's a really good hospital not ten miles from the manor house. In London it's farther to a decent one.  Therefore you're going to the manor house."

"But..."  Xander laid a finger over his lips.

"Don't argue with me, I'll turn into a cranky bitch again."   He stroked his cheek.  "You'll be okay, that's all that's important."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine, I just won't be able to walk for much longer," he admitted with a sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed.  "My doctor said I've got another year of the life on my present knees and I'm too young for a complete replacement."   Jigen shuddered.  "So I'm arranging things so I can retire."

"If we slow down, would it help?"

"Sure, as long as I quit jogging, doing katas, walking around, or chasing after the kids," he said bitterly.

"I'd want a second opinion."

"This guy is world-renowned for this stuff, Jigen.  If he says I've got a year, at the most, then I've got a year if I'm damn lucky."

"The medicines?"

"I hate taking drugs."

"If it's helping...."

"It is but I'm still getting pain through the day.  They can't make them stronger and I'm not going on Oxycottin for my knees, man.  I'm not ready for that yet."

Jigen nodded.  "Okay, I understand."  He patted him on the arm. "We've all got to slow down soon anyway.  Maybe the occasional job would be better for us instead of always being on jobs."

"I may not even have that luxury," Xander reminded him.  "Then again, I've got to set up things so I can retire in anonymity.  New identity and all that.  That way we don't get the manor house raided."

"Let us talk about it first, Xander.  The group as a whole.  I know you and Lupin are fighting right now but give us a chance?"

"You've still got chances left with me," he admitted.

"Then let us work something out.  We're all getting slower.  Hell, I'm not going out anytime soon."

"True."  Xander stroked his cheek again.  "Get some rest. It's the best thing for you. I'm on guard duty tonight since Marc's asleep in the chair."

"Thanks.  You should have seen Melissa."

"Yeah, she pulled something out of your hat," he teased.  "Shooting him in the thigh instead of killing him was just like you."  He fussed with the blankets. "Sleep, Jigen.  You need it."  He went back to the window and sat on the windowsill again, watching the parking lot and entrance to the hospital.

Jigen laid there and thought about that.  His daughter had shot to wound, not kill.  She was damn good if she hadn't killed him anyway.  The thigh was a touchy spot to hit.  He flipped onto his side and got comfortable, watching Xander guard him.  "You could sit."

"I can't.  There's a cop in the parking lot."

"Fine."  He closed his eyes.  "Thanks, Xan."

"Welcome, Jigen.  I spanked Fred for doing that to her."

"Good.  Someone needed to."  He coughed.  "I need a cigarette."

"The nurse put a patch on your arm.  I'll get you another one," he soothed, going out to do that for him.  He came back and applied it to a free spot, making Jigen relax and drift off again.  Then he went back to his place by the window.  This was some major suckage here.

***

Jigen was walked into the manor house's foyer and paused to look around.  "It's nice," he admitted.

"I know."  He grinned at him as he walked him up the hallway to a bottom floor guest room, settling him into the bed.  "When you feel like you can climb stairs you can come upstairs.  Until then stay in here," he ordered with a fond smile, heading back to the kitchen.  "Hey," he said as he walked in, making the maid squeak.  "Is everyone else here?"  She smiled at him and nodded.  "Cool.  Um, watch out for Fred and Kenji.  They like to try to breastfeed and Fred's a lech already. He likes to try to get under skirts and things too.  That's what caused this present health crisis.  He tried on one of the girls."  He looked around.  "Where is everyone else?"

"Back in the gardens," she said quietly.  "Is he all right?"

"He's fine.  It was a near miss.  He's in the bottom bedroom."  He handed over the diet sheet he had been handed.  "Here, try to stick to this but don't nag him.  He'll pout," he shared with a bright grin. "I'm off to change and then hop off again.  I'll be back later tonight if anyone asks."  He walked up the back stairs, heading up to the master suite, finding Lupin sitting on his bed.  "Hey, Ar."

"Hey, Mom.  Got another date?"

"Emmmmm."  He looked at her. "You're pissed," he sighed.

"Yes and no.  Not only at you however," she offered lightly, frowning at him.  "Dad's fucking morbid about you dating."

"It's his own doing, Arsene.  What did he expect?  I'm not Goemon."

"Good point, which is what we've all pointed out to him," she assured him quickly, "but he's not getting the point yet."  She got up and hugged him.  "Where are you taking him?"

"He's doing a show tonight so I'm going to watch him and then we're going out to dinner, then I'm coming back here tonight."

"Wow.  You're going to be really active."

"Yeah, but I want to be here with you guys and there's too many people following me around in London for me to bring you guys there."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Help me pick out what I'm wearing."

"Can I come?  I'd like to meet him."

"Next week.  I'm planning on a dinner to introduce you kids to him."

"Okay."  She walked into the closet, then looked back at him.  "Where's *your* clothes?"

He grinned and opened up another door.  "I've only got a few things here.  Besides, I liked those.  I don't look like I'm part of the Mafia in them."

"No, you certainly wouldn't look that way in baby blue or light orange."  She pulled out a classic looking jacket in a medium blue then pulled out a black pants and shirt combo with a blue/black tie.  "Here, wear that.  Then you'll look respectable."  She walked out, letting him change on his own, going to find her father.  "Hi."  She snuggled up to his side.

"He's got a date?" he asked.

She nodded. "He'll be back tonight though.  His new boyfriend has a show tonight so he's going to it and then taking him out to dinner before coming back here.  He said we kids can meet him next week if we want."

"I see."  He looked over as Xander came out the back door and headed for the garage.  "Xander?"  He waved him over, straightening out his tie for him.  "It was crooked."

"Thanks."  He patted Arsene on the back of the head and went for his car.  He loved his Jetta.  He heard someone following him so paused and looked back at his former lover. "Problems already?"

"Can we chat later?"

"Sure.  About?"

"Us," Lupin said patiently.

"Fine."  He opened his car door and flipped the switch for the garage door. "I'll be back late tonight."  He slid into the seat and wiggled for a moment, then started the car and backed out, heading out into the nice morning light.

Lupin put down the garage door, watching as the car disappeared.  It was official.  He had royally fucked up.  Xander was a loyal guy and he had switched sides now.  He went back inside, going to check on Jigen before taking a tour of the house.  He wanted to know about this one too.

***

Xander looked up from his dinner as a nervous looking brunette walked up to their table.  "Hey, 'Lis.  What's wrong?" he asked patiently.

"I want to kill my baby brother," she admitted as she pulled a chair over and sat down, smoothing down her skirt.  She looked at her father.  "He was pouting at me and I wanted to shake him or beat him so badly that they'd only have to put a headstone next to the spot where I had pounded him into the ground, and then I freaked myself out with the violence I was considering on a six-year-old who did that to me."

He grabbed her hand, squeezing it firmly.  "It's all right.  You have a temper, we all realize this.  I'm damn proud of you for walking away and not screaming at the little monster."

"What happened?" Alan asked gently.

"My little brother Fred decided I was pretty so he tried to nurse off me, he attacked me while I was changing," Melissa told him.  "He's six.  He knows better and he still did it.  And then, when everyone tried to teach him better yet again, he nearly sent my father into a heart attack by suggesting I could be his mother so he could do it again.  Now he's pouting at me for being mean to him," she said coolly.  "I want to smack the brat and make him a sorry mother but I know I shouldn't.  I'm hoping Mom can help me calm down again.  I'm sorry I'm interrupting."

"No, that's okay.  He's a parent and the kids have to come before fascinating new boyfriends," he offered with a small smile.  "Do you feel better now?"

"Some, but I still want to beat the brat until he dies."

"Fred's known for doing stuff like this," Xander explained quietly.  "During a school thing where parents came back for a night he basically did the same thing to a bunch of girls there."

"He refuses to stop it," Melissa added.  She slumped down.  "I couldn't take it anymore.  I'm sorry."

"No, stay," Alan offered gently, patting her on the wrist.  "I can't hope to understand but you seem reasonably adult enough not to play with your food and to go to the show tonight if you want."

"I wouldn't mind," she offered, smiling at him.  "We've all wondered about you.  Mom has not said a single word to us about you yet."

"That's because Lupin would eavesdrop and we both know it," Xander noted dryly, waving a waiter over.  "Get her a salad.  This is my daughter Melissa."

"Very well, sir," he agreed, going to do that for him.

"Thanks, daddy.  I didn't mean to do anything to embarrass you."

"Eh, all of you kids have walked in on us in the past.  If I give him a goodnight kiss you aren't allowed to stand there and make vomiting sounds, that's all I ask."

"I'm not that immature.  That's Lupin the Fourth," she said with a smirk for him.  "I'm the good daughter, outside of Lotus."

"You are," he agreed, grinning at Alan.  "She's also my helper whenever I build robots and things."

"We've Bond'ed two cars together," she said proudly. "We've only got the problem with a taser setting because it's too strong."

"I bet that's fascinating," Alan agreed with a genuine smile for her.  "Why do you call him mom?"

"Because the other parents can get a bit...focused on work now and then.  He did most of our care with Uncle Goemon.  He was basically the mother of the group, no matter what form he was in."  She glanced at him and he nodded quickly, sipping his water so this guy knew about the choker.  "He was really good to us.  When we were sick, he was there.  When we were learning things, he was there pushing us along.  When Ishi started to sneak off to learn in the woods at night mom was there to stop him from hurting himself and helping him learn what he wanted to."

"How do you feel about him dating?"

"Iffy," she said honestly.  She stared in his eyes.  "My father can't touch him when he's like this and I think that's particularly shitty of him.  Uncle Lupin's been ignoring him and I think that's worse.  You make him happy and we appreciate that.  Though, we don't want you to get hurt if something was started by the people who keep following him around."  He nodded at that wisdom.  "Otherwise, you seem very nice.  You seem like you like him.  He seems to like you.  We were going to be meeting next week.  Fair warning, Arsene will try to embarrass you," she admitted with a smile.

"I've dealt with some people that would make even little Lupin the Fourth blush," he promised smugly.

"We'll see, won't we?" she asked with a grin.  "I must say, you're very nice.  I already like you.  So you may do fine.  Just make him happy or else you'll be seeing me under much different circumstances."

"If you do something like that, I would feel justified in stopping you by putting your butt in a locked room for the rest of the year," Xander said dryly.  "That means no school and you'd get to go next year."

"Yes, mother."

"Thank you."  He grinned at Alan.  "The kids are very protective of me."

"It's a good thing in my book, Xander.  They should be careful of who you date.  It will impact them and with your life that can be dangerous."

"True," he agreed with a grin.  He turned it on the waiter when he appeared with their dishes and Melissa's salad.  "Wonderful timing, thank you," he praised, moving his salad plate so his main dish could be set down.  "Ah, real food.  Much better than I can do."

"You don't cook that badly, mom.  You're not up to Uncle Lupin's standards, but you're no slouch in the kitchen.  You simply hate cooking."

"True," he admitted with a goofy grin for her. "Eat."

"Yes, sir."  She carefully spread the napkin on her lap and dug in.  "I borrowed some clothes from your old closet."

"I noticed, it's fine," he promised.  "You look decent enough in it."

"Thanks, mom.  It was the first thing I came to."  She ate another bite and looked at Alan.  "So, you're an actor and a comedian.  Is it fun or is it a lot of work?  That seems like one of those jobs that you do it because you love it and it should come easy to you."

"It does sometimes, and sometimes it's therapy and things," he admitted.   "It is some work though.  What you might find funny the average person might not."

"Well, actually, I learned how to tell dirty jokes from Arsene."  She grinned at him.  "Another fact that daddy probably didn't share was that I'm firmly bi.  I've got a boyfriend right now."  She grabbed her water and looked at her father.  "He's in town."

"We'll see," he said patiently.

"Yes, daddy."

"Are you staying in town tonight?" Alan asked.

"I promised I'd be back tonight to check on the kids and talk to Lupin," he sighed.  "I'll be back tomorrow though."

"I'm staying in town tonight so I don't kill my little brother," Melissa offered.  Xander gave her a long look.  "Uncle Lupin said I could."

"Fine.  As long as you've got permission.  Eat up.  He's got to be there in about an hour."  She nodded and dug in again, so he grinned at Alan.  "She really is a miniature me with her father's quieter nature.  You'd never catch her doing what I did on the dance floor the other night."

"She'd probably be just as good," Alan offered.

"I suck at dancing," Melissa assured him.  "No sense of natural rhythm at all."  She ate another bite.  "Daddy, can we maybe have a longer, more involved talk about boys soon?" she requested.

"Sure," he agreed happily.  "I like Brad.  He seemed very nice when I met him at the dance."

"He is and even Daddy likes him," she said, hoping he'd agree with the consensus.

"We'll see," Xander reminded her.  "For right now, you two can date but I expect you to behave appropriately until you've met all the guidelines I set down."

"Yes, mom."  She blushed a bit. "I'm not quite sixteen yet," she admitted.

"You look much older," he assured her.

"Yes, but if I...consummated my relationship before then I've been promised a horrible political marriage where I'll rue my days and pine away for the freedoms I used to have, or until I kill him."

Xander gave her a smug look.  "It worked."

"It did," she agreed.  "Even on my twin, the ho."

"The ho?" Alan asked dryly.

"She was.  Or at least she was starting off that way.  The two good girls are not the nicest of popular girls."

"Being at an all-girl's school has helped that some," Xander reminded her dryly.  "They only got caught sneaking out once and explained it away as needing chocolate.  The headmistress called us so we could hear what their punishment was.  Speaking of, we need to check on them tonight, 'Lis.  I haven't heard anything from the camp in over a week."

"Um, they're not there now," she said carefully.  "I called the other night to talk to Savannah and they said she'd gotten a letter from home detailing an emergency so they were excused."

"They were what?" Xander asked calmly.

"They were checked out and sent home."

"Then I believe there's a Lupin who has some explaining to do," Xander said coolly.

"Dad, if it had been Daddy Lupin, they'd be with us by now," she pointed out gently.

"I wasn't talking about that one," he retorted, frowning at her.  "Sierra is that good."

"It could be for a good cause," Alan suggested.

"That custody preliminary was this week," Melissa said, sharing an 'oh, shit' look with her father. "I'll call."

"I doubt they'd talk to you, 'Lis," he said bitterly.  "Excuse me for a moment, Alan."  He dug out his phone and dialed Ray K's phone.  "Are the two daughters there?" he asked quietly.  "They checked themselves out of the camp with the explanation of a family emergency and we never sent one."  He sighed.  "Really?  Because he's in deep now.  They knew better.  Yes, them.  No, Ray.  If the girls tried anything like that before they were sixteen, they're being married off to whoever they're with.  And if they die, then they go to a political marriage.  Yes, them.  Which one?"  He groaned and held his head.  "Fine.  I'll tell him tonight.  You get the marriage stuff started so it's not a shotgun affair.  Jigen doesn't need this."  He hung up and looked at Melissa.  "Not a word," he warned. "I'll tell him myself."

"Yes, daddy."

"Good girl, 'Lis.  Thank you.  They found Sierra there last night with Morgan."  Her mouth fell open. "Yeah.  Flagrantly going at it like rabid bunnies.  She's in such a deep cistern of misery when we get hold of her and her sister, who was there but had only gotten to the flirting stage with Jerry."

"Gods, both fathers are going to hit the roof," she moaned.  "Can I come stay with you for a few days, Alan?"

"Sure, I've got a couch," he offered dryly, smirking at her.  "Girls do that, the same as boys do."

"They're fifteen and this isn't the first problem.  They're the reason we have the political marriage threat going," Xander told him.  "They're dead when their fathers hear about this."

"Gramps is going to shit funny for years," Melissa moaned.

"Well, that'll be one fun wedding," Xander said with a smirk for Alan.  "Wanna come?"

"No, I don't like weddings," he admitted.  "There's always that air of desperation involved."

"There will be this time too," Xander assured him with a smirk.  "Eat, you don't need to be late.  Don't let us distract you either," he said, licking his lips.

"How could you distract me, love?  You've given me some wicked ideas already tonight."  He dug into his food, prompting the others to do the same.  He had to go on first so it wasn't like he could be late.

***

Melissa walked in on her father's arm, chuckling and leaning against him as they talked.  They found both parents in the doorway.  "We've got to talk," she told them.  "Go get Uncle Goemon and Lotus too.  Or, better yet, I'll tell her, daddy."

"Sure."  He patted her on the back as he let her go.  "Have fun and watch out for thrown things."

"Oh, I will," she sighed, heading up to find Lotus.

"Is there a problem?" Jigen asked.

"Um, that's putting it mildly.  The girls got a sudden letter from home about an emergency and were released from camp to travel back."

"They're not here," Lupin said slowly, thinking about it.

"No, they're in Cleveland.  Sierra and Morgan were caught together and going at it like bunnies."  He leaned against the banister, smirking at them.  "They found Savannah and Jerry playing Truth or Dare."

"Oh, God," Jigen moaned.

"Shit, I didn't mean to break that so hard," Xander said quickly, coming over to help him to a seat.  "Are you okay?  I can get my car started really fast and take you to the hospital if you need to go."

"Shh," he ordered, laying a finger across his lips.  "It's not that sort of pain.  Calm down, Xander."

"How was your date?" Lupin asked, still looking a bit stunned.

"He killed on stage and Melissa giggled the whole way through," he said proudly.  "Plus he added a new bit thanks to our inspiration tonight."

"Good for him."   Lupin shook his head like a dog shaking off water.  "I'm going to be ill now."  He wandered off, going to call Vecchio to see when the wedding was.  There was no way he was bending on this, even if he did end up related to Pops.   First though, he needed a drink.  A very large drink.

"So you really like this guy?" Jigen asked quietly.

Xander sat on the stairs next to him, staring at him.  "I do.  He's funny, he's sweet.  He pays attention to me, even when he's trying to create.  He's a very nice guy."

"Which is part of the problem, Xan.  Can he stand the life you live?"

"Which I can't do for much longer," Xander reminded him.   He stood up with a small moan of complaint.  "He knew who I was when he met me.  It hasn't mattered yet."  He headed up the stairs, going to bed.  He found Lupin's bag in his room and snorted, tossing it into the hallway. "He can sleep with Jigen if he's that lonely."  He locked his door and stripped down to his boxers, climbing into bed alone.   He heard someone pause outside the door but didn't even tense up when they continued to walk.

***

Melissa grinned as she ran into the guy she had intended to run into, pulling him into a corner and giving him a deep kiss. "Hi.  We're in the country and I thought I'd stop by."

"Now's not a great time," he admitted.

Melissa looked back at the person who dared to glare at her, glaring back.  "I'd leave," she threatened.

"Ooh, a little girl.  I'm so scared."

"Actually, I'm a Jigen," she told him.  He backed up, but stayed sneering.  "Fine, your choice."  She pulled out something and fired it, making him yelp and run off.  "Paintballs hurt," she shared with a grin, kissing her boyfriend again.  "We've got to go see my sisters married in Cleveland.  Wanna come with me?"

"I'm supposed to be interning this summer," he said patiently.

She kissed him again.  "So we'll help."  She grinned up at him.  "Was he your target?"

"No, I already did him."

"See, then we may be able to get you sprung.  It'll be a good training thing to come with us.  You can see Cleveland."  He snorted, but shook his head.  "I'll ask for you if you want, or have Arsene do it.  Or even Mom."

"Why are you being so clingy?"

"Because otherwise I'd have to be with Fred the whole trip and I'd kill him."

"Isn't Fred your brother?" he asked, pulling her closer again, his arms going around her waist.  She nodded.  "What could a little boy like him do that would upset you that much?"

"He decided I was a food source and attacked me while I was changing."  His mouth fell open.  "Yeah, so I'm not real pleased with him at the moment and it got so bad that daddy nearly died from his heart because of him.  Therefore you'd be keeping me calm and keeping us from destroying a slayer and her family."  She gave him a light kiss and leaned against him.  "Of course, if you came, you'd probably end up spending time with Zenigata and his crew.  My twin sister decided to sleep with his nephew, who has always chased after Lotus.  She's scowling worse than her father at the moment."

"I'm sure he'll get her into the Academy," he offered dryly.  "I wish I could."

"I can ask," she offered again. "Please?  Save my sanity?  What little of it is left?"

"If you can get my mother to agree and the guy I'm interning with to agree," he promised. It'd be a nice vacation even if there were cops.

"Okay."  She walked him off, taking him up to where his mother had rented a suite in a local hotel, letting him get the door for them.  "Hi."  She shook the woman's hand. "Are you Brad's mom?"

The woman looked this young girl over.  "Yes.  Who're you?"

"I'm Melissa.  His girlfriend.  I thought it time to meet you," she admitted with a bright smile.  She pointed at a nearby picture.  "That's me and Lupin the Fourth."

"You're her helper?"

"Yeah.  Melissa Jigen."  She grinned again. "Off duty at the moment, hence the clothing."

"I see."  She led them into the sitting area, getting them some tea.  "Bradley has mentioned you a few times to me.  You're studying under the thieve's track?"

"We're seniors this upcoming year," Melissa agreed.  "We got to run one of the student groups for the yearly project."

"Mom never went," Brad told her, sitting next to his girlfriend.  "There's another matter, mother.  Her sister's getting married."

"In Cleveland," Melissa agreed, taking her cup of tea and adding a lump of sugar to it. "Thank you.  I make dreadful tea."  She took a long sip and rested the saucer on her thigh.  "My sister has managed to find her way into a political marriage with Zenigata's nephew.  So has the other 'good girl' of the family.  We're heading for the wedding next week and I'd like Bradley to go with me if you'd agree.  I'd be totally proper and he'd be sharing a room with Ishi, Goemon the Fourteenth.  Our parents have made us wait for more than genteel dating until we're at least sixteen."

"I see."  She looked at her son.  "What about your internship?"

"I could learn a lot off her mother, Lavelle," he offered quietly.

"You could and we'd love to work with you too," Melissa promised.  "We were working with Wyatt last year."  She took another long drink.  "Brad understands that I'm a thief, not an assassin, but that I can do the job when necessary.  I simply hate the sight of blood."  She gave the older woman a weak smile.  "Besides, I've been meaning to meet you now for a while since you left early from the dance."

"I had a headache that night," she admitted.

"I've had a few of those," Melissa said lightly. "Arsene gets some migraines too so I know how bad those can get."  She took another drink. "I'm sorry I'm so forward."

"No, it's a delightful change, young lady.  You're honest about what you want.  You like my son enough to date him for real?"

"Yes.  We've been seeing each other since the week before finals.  He finally got around to asking me out," she admitted with a sheepish grin.  "We took a long walk through the woods.  He's already met my parents at that convention in Italy and my father loved him instantly.  Even though he did drink himself to sleep that night because we were talking about the formal."

"I'd like to hear some more concrete arrangements before I agree.  I trust you, mostly because I know you'd not want to end up like your sisters, but I'm not sure that Lupin would agree."

"Sure," Melissa agreed, pulling out her cell.  She called her Uncle's.  "Hey, Uncle Lupin.  I'm here with Brad's mom and she wants to talk to you about the arrangements for the wedding."  She rolled her eyes at his spluttering.  "I'm bringing him to Cleveland," she reminded him patiently. "Not ours, Uncle. Get over it. Daddy didn't hear that jump in illogic, did he?"  She grinned. "Thanks. Nope, she's right here and wanted to talk to you."  She handed over the phone and poured them both some more tea, adding another lump of sugar to hers.  Then she winked at Brad.  "He just took a Time Warp jump to the right."

"Well, the way you phrased that was indicative," Brad said dryly, patting her on the hand.  "How can you stand to drink tea?"

"Uncle Goemon."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "I'd suppose it'd be something he did a lot of too."  He got up and headed into his room, going to call his teacher to see when a good time to show up would be.  You never barged in on an assassin without warning.  It was dumb and impolite.  By the time he got done chatting his mother had made firm arrangements for him to go and sleep in the same room as Ishi was.  He walked back out.  "We can barge in on my teacher in about an hour," he offered quietly.  "Want to get a snack?"

"Sure," Melissa agreed, smiling and shaking his mother's hand again. "I hope we can chat more on the day we bring him back. Maybe a lunch?"

"That would be more than proper," she agreed happily, watching them go.  She was a very nice girl, even though she dressed lower-class.  Very talented too from what she had heard around.

***

"I can't believe my boss made you take his daughter out for her sixteenth birthday," Brad said in disgust. "That's blackmail."

"I don't mind, Brad.  She's a nice girl who needs a chaperone.  That's all. I made sure he knew I wasn't going to be sleeping with her and that I'd make sure she wasn't molested and got home before dawn.  You can come with us if you want."  She let him into the manor house, waving a hand around.  "Welcome to the present hideout.  Mom?" she called. "I'm back with Brad."

"There's a spare room next to Lotus," Jigen said as he came out of the hallway. "Hey, Brad. You coming to the wedding?"

"Yes, sir.  Your daughter saved me from being pounded for pickpocketing at my boss's order."

"Your boss needs his head examined," Jigen said sarcastically.  "You don't blend in well in London."

"Also, I'm taking his boss's daughter out for her sixteenth, daddy.  It was part of the deal. I made sure he knew I wasn't sleeping with her."

"Good job, princess."  He hugged her, kissing her on the forehead.  "Show him upstairs and then take him out back with the others."  She nodded, leading her boyfriend off.  "At least he'll keep Fred off her," he muttered as he went to find Lupin, who was drinking way too early and alone.  "What's wrong now?"

"My baby girl is marrying into the Zenigata clan," he said bitterly.  "My lover dumped me for a nice guy who tells dirty jokes.  Plus I'm getting old."  He took another gulp and refilled his glass from the bottle beside him.  "Was that Melissa?"

"And Brad," he agreed quietly, coming over to take the bottle from him.  "Are the travel plans set?"

"Yup," he sighed. "All set.  I had a *long* talk with Dawn about this too.  She agreed, they're getting married, even if he doesn't."  He snatched the bottle back.  "Isn't Xander back yet?"

"Not yet.  He only went to the market."  He took the bottle back and put it away, then grabbed Lupin and pulled him to his feet.  "Come on.  We've got to guard Melissa and Lotus from Fred again.  They're tanning out back by now."

"Someone needs to take those girls shopping for better bathing suits."

"They went the other day online," Jigen reminded him.  "Lotus got a one-piece, your daughter got one of those funny swimmer's ones that looks like the old-fashioned bathing costumes, and mine got a more decent looking bikini."

"They're growing up way too fast," Lupin complained.  "I miss the days when I could hold Arsene and read to her."

"And she'd pickpocket you and then give you this sweet little smile," Xander agreed from the doorway.  "I see we've grown a Brad extension.  Is he coming too?"  Jigen nodded.   "Cool.  The wedding's all set up, and so is the reception, and so are the pregnancy tests.  Dawn did want to know if we're sending them back to their school this year.  I told her we'd fund wherever she wanted them to go."

"That's fine, Xander," Lupin agreed calmly.  "Is Alan coming?"

"He hates weddings.  I asked but he said he'd rather be eaten by a girl with PMS."  He grinned and headed for the kitchen, hugging the maid since she looked like she was crying.  "Which kid did it?"

"No, I was doing onions," she assured him.  "The kids have been good as gold."

"Our kids?" Xander said dryly, smirking at her.  "Which kid?"

"That youngest one just tried to nurse off me," she admitted quietly.

"I'll have a talk with his father.  He knows he's weaned too."  He patted her on the back and walked off, going to find Goemon, who was working with the kids. He stopped him by leaning on his shoulder.  "Did you know that Yu is picking up bad habits from Fred again?" he asked quietly.   Goemon groaned.  "He tried to nurse off the maid. I just caught her crying in the kitchen."

"I'll stop him," he promised.

"Thanks, big guy."  He looked over at the older kids.  "Where are they headed?"

"There's a pond about a quarter-mile away. They're heading there."

"Is that still on the property?"  Goemon nodded. "That's fine then.  They can all swim.  Did they mean to take Kenji?"

"Son!" Goemon yelled.  Both of them looked at him, so he pointed at Kenji, who Ishi turned around and gave a slight push to come back. "Thank you."   His middle son pouted the whole way back but he looked quite sorry when his father scowled at him.

"He's sneaky, that's a good thing in our life," Xander said with a grin for the upset father.  "He'll make a great assassin with how sneaky he is."

"Only if he survives that long," Goemon said dryly, still frowning at his son.  "Get back in line, son."

"Yes, father."

"Can we swim later?" Sarah asked sweetly.

"We'll see," Xander told her.  "That depends on having someone who'd monitor you guys."  He went back into the house, and found himself pushed into his library.  "Yes?" he asked patiently.

"I wanted to know how you felt about us slowing down and staying part of the group, Xander," Lupin said calmly, getting comfortable in the wing-backed chair.  "You know, I can tell you didn't decorate this room."

"No, I haven't done much changing around here," he admitted as he sat on the settee.  "To be honest, my doc said that I've got maybe a year left on these knees."  Lupin winced.  "That's about how I feel too."

"Any chance of replacement?"

"Not really.  You can only have so many done in your life and I'm too young to start that.  If I slow down everything, including my katas, then I may have a few extra months."

"Have you gotten a second opinion?"

"My guy's world renowned for knees, Lupin.  I trust him."

"Yeah, but I'd still want a second opinion," Lupin said gently.  "Maybe there's another treatment that can help, other than the drugs."

"I'd see someone but there's only him and his partner that I'm aware of."

"Actually, there's a decent guy in Cleveland," Lupin offered.  "He's an runner himself.  He's got good recommendations.  I was going to drag Jigen to him about his wrists anyway."  He saw Xander rub his.  "I've noticed that you're not on the range as often, Xan. We need you to be okay."

"I'll see him if it makes you feel better."

"Thank you," Lupin said with a small smile.  "Let me call your knee guy to get your records."  He wrote that down on the notepad beside him.  "Now, why isn't Alan coming to the wedding?"

"He hates weddings."

"Oh.  Okay."  Lupin looked him over.  "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, Xander."

"So am I, Lupin.  I wish you would have paid attention to me like I needed and treated me like I needed, but you didn't and I'm sorry you never got the point.  We were good together.  Then again, we were both younger and pains in the ass too," he finished in a lighter tone of voice.  He looked behind him as the doorbell rang, watching the butler answer it.  "I didn't think we'd have neighbors who'd just drop by."  He got up when he heard the butler coming back their way.  "What's up?" he asked, meeting him at the door.

"There's an...unsavory person at the door, sir."

"Thanks."  He headed that way, looking the man over when he got into the foyer. "Yes?"

"Lavelle?"

"Most of the time.  Why?"

"The Watcher's Council sends me."

"They can fuck themselves up the ass with an iron mace," he said sweetly.  The man looked startled, then calmed himself down again.  "What did they need from me?"

"They needed you to give them information on a demon that's coming for them," he admitted, pulling out a paper.  He held it out.  "It's not charmed or anything, sir.  It's from Rupert Giles personally."

Xander snatched it to read quickly, snorting at the last line that said he could kill the messenger this time, that he was a prick but the only one who had been available.  He looked at the human, then snorted and rolled up his sleeves, making the supposed-human flinch.  "Okay, what's really going on?"

"They heard you were retiring and wanted to give you a job, sir," he said, covering his eyes.  "Please, sir, cover those?  They're painful!"

"I know that, that's why I did it.  Tell Ripper I'll pop around on him and Ethan tonight," he said, handing back the paper.  "Now go, before I have to kill you."  The man nodded and ran off.  "Half demons," he sighed, heading back to the library. "Sorry, Ripper just sent a halfie to lure me to work with them."

"You're thinking about retirement instead of slowing down?" Lupin asked sadly.

"It's one of the options I'm looking at.  It's the one most likely to leave my hide intact the longest as well.  I don't want to die of a gunshot wound to the back.  I've even got a second identity set up so my staff doesn't have to be embarrassed about working for an internationally wanted thief."  He shifted to get more comfortable.  "I'm also able to take the kids in if they wanted to stay with me for a while when you guys decide to cut up and party."

"Even if we retire, we'd still want you at the house, Xander."

"Lupin, it hurts, okay?  It hurts to see you every day and know that you didn't like me enough as myself to stay with me.  I don't know how you stand looking at me each and every day but for me it hurts."  He stood up and paused to let the pain go away. "I'm due for some medicine, excuse me."  He walked away, going to take his next dose of medicine.

"You were a bit cold to him," Jigen said when Xander walked past him.

Xander looked at him.  "Jigen, when you look at me, do you see more than regrets?" he asked as he continued up the stairs.

"Yeah, I do, but I see those too," he admitted, turning to look at him.  "We're sorry, Xander."

"Yay."  He made it up the stairs and slammed his bedroom door, startling the cat who was napping on his bed.  "Ah, you guys are here too," he cooed, patting her. "I've got to find the litter boxes so the maid doesn't have to clean those too."  He went into the bathroom, finding his medicine bottles where they should be and a rose lying next to them.  "Hmm."  He picked it up to sniff, then put it back so he could take his pills.  Once he was done, he went to lie on the bed and pet the cat.  At least she loved him for unselfish reasons.  He wasn't the one who fed her so she loved him just because he petted her.  "Hey, precious. Are you enjoying my bedroom?"

Jigen opened the door and leaned in.  "The kids want to go for ice cream. Want to go with us?"

"No, you go," he said quietly. "I'm waiting for my drugs to work."

Jigen walked in and sat on the other side of the cat.  "You can't sulk up here all day, Xan. It'll upset the kids worse."

"Yeah, well, I hear divorce is always bad on the kids," he said dryly, not looking at him.  "Why couldn't you stand to be near me when I'm me?"

"It's not you, it's any guy, Xander.  I'm sorry, I wish I could change that, but I can't.  I can't make myself touch you this way.  Not more than I have been."

"So, in other words, you only liked me when I'm not me."

"No, I still love you, I just can't touch you when you've got male equipment.  It changes nothing else, Xander."

"So I keep hearing but that doesn't make it any easier, Jigen."

"It wouldn't," he agreed, tipping Xander's chin up.  "I'm sorry I can't be like that and Lupin keeps forgetting you.  I am glad that you found someone who can touch you and makes you happy but it's still hard to watch."

"Yeah, well, being around you guys is just as hard on me."

"You're going to retire then?"  Xander shrugged. "What do you want to do, Xan?"

"I want things to be right among us," he said simply.  "But I don't have tits and I'm not putting that stupid choker back on for anything."

"I wouldn't either. It's been like some curse for you," Jigen agreed gently.  "You find what you want and then have it snatched away because they can't handle the real you.  It's gotta suck worse than it does on my side."  He patted the silver hair.  "We'd still like you to come for ice cream."

"I'll go next time."

"Sure."  He stood up.  "You want me to tell Lupin to forget sending you to the other guy?"

"No, because if he's got something better to stop the pain, I'll gladly go for it," Xander admitted. "I'm tired of aching all the time."

"Sure, Xan."  He left him there, going back down the stairs.  Lupin looked at him so he shook his head.  "He just took something for his knees and it's making him sleepy."

"Fine."  Lupin let Jigen head out before him, closing the door behind him.  "Is he okay?"

"No."

Lupin nodded once and started to turn but Jigen kept him from going.  "Let go."

"You're only hurting him, Lupin.  Leave it for now."

"It's my fault."

"Yeah, and a gesture of affection now will only make it worse," Jigen retorted.  "You've already gone so far that he's moving on.  He's still loyal to the group but not to us as lovers.  Just drop it so we can all move on."

"No!"

"Daddy, now's not the time for this," Arsene said, stopping to look at them.  "Trust me, now's not the time."

"How would you know?"

"I'm a girl, it's genetic," she said snidely.  "Besides, think of it this way, daddy.  If this were Auntie Fujiko, what would you have been doing?"

"I'd have been on my knees and begging by now," he admitted.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't do it when she was emotionally fragile, right?" she pressed.  He shook his head.  "Then don't do it to this one.  He's more fragile because he knows you guys only liked him when he had tits."

"I did not!"

"Well, obviously you did because you didn't pay a whole lot of attention to him outside of when he had them," she shot back, hands on her hips now.  "We don't want to take sides, we'd like it if you two were happy again, and we'd like it even more if Uncle Jigen could get off his straight ass and act too, but we're too much like mom.  We're realists about this sort of thing, daddy.  You proved it with your actions and that's all he listens to.  Now get in the car, I want ice cream."

Jigen followed her, smacking her across the back of the head.  "Don't talk to your father that way."

"Someone needed to, he wasn't listening otherwise," she said dryly.  "By the way, we've hidden both chokers.  Before anyone gets any ideas."

"He wouldn't...."

"I said anyone," she reminded him.  "You, him, mom, any of you."   She opened the car door.  "Am I driving?"

"No. I saw you on the wrong side of the road yesterday," Jigen said as he got in, letting her get into the back.  "Lupin!"

"Coming."  He jogged over and got into the front of the SUV.  "Where's the others?"

"Melissa is driving the others in the Jetta," Arsene said patiently.  "Let's go."

"Fine," Jigen agreed, starting the car and backing out.  He glanced up and saw Xander's curtains move but he also saw the cat sunning itself on the windowsill and sighed.  They'd lost him.

***

Xander walked into Ethan's house late that night, slamming the back door, which made Marcus jump.  "Where's the asshole?"

"Upstairs in bed," he said dryly. "You're popping around rather late, Xander."

"Ripper sent me an invitation to join the Watchers."

"Ah!  He's no longer living here."

"That's fine.  I need guidance anyway," he said bitterly, heading into the shrine Ethan kept and closing the door, making sure it was locked with the hook-and-eye so Marcus couldn't barge in on him.  He knelt with a moan of pain but settled himself as comfortably as he could.  "Okay, you know everything," he whispered.  "You got any ideas before I rip myself to shreds for wanting to be myself?"

The statue looked down at him, then one side moved slightly.  "They do accept you and they do love you."

"Just not enough, I got that already," Xander noted bitterly.

"One does, he's simply distracted."

"You can't be distracted for that long," Xander said simply.  "It's been months and I know damn well he's been getting it somewhere else."

The heads nodded.  "Indeed," they agreed.

"So, got any good advice?"

"Are you happy?" one side asked.

"No."

"Then you must make yourself happy, Alexander.  It is your right."

"Yeah, well, neither option makes me really happy in the long run."

"Then find another."

"What other?"

"You could go on as you do now," one side suggested.

"Or you could force the issue with them" the other suggested.

"Or you could even change for them, but we do not like that option.  Not unless you want to have another priest for us."

"Hell no," Xander snorted.  "I'm tired of not being myself. "

"Are you truly yourself now?"

"No," he admitted quietly, "but I'm too old to be the guy I used to be."

"Age is a state of mind."

"In my case, age is a state of body," Xander pointed out bitterly.  "Unless you guys can do something about my knees, my wrists, and my shoulders?"  They stared down at him.  "I didn't think so."  He stood up and wobbled for a moment.  "Ow."  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm past due for my medicines."

"The deaging potion should have cured most of that," one of them said finally.

"It didn't.  It slowed it down some but I've had bad joints for years."

"Go wake Ethan up, young man.  Perhaps there is more he can do on that front. It would give you other options at the least."

Xander nodded and opened the door, finding a yawning Ethan standing there.  "Hey, just borrowing your shrine."

"That's fine, Xander."  He bowed to the heads. "I heard my name mentioned?"

"They think the anti-aging potion should have helped my knees."

"It didn't?"  Xander shook his head.  "Damn."  He walked in and bowed properly.  "What would you have me do for him, Lords?"

"Fix him," they ordered.

"Short of giving him a numbing potion, I can't do much for joint pain."

"Numbing potion?"

"It's not that bad," Marcus offered.  "A bit too strong on me, I couldn't feel my feet."

"Marc, being honest here, I'm going to be retiring soon anyway.  I can't stand to stay in the same house as those two anymore."

"I had noticed that Alan made you smile."  They both looked as the door crashed open, Marcus going for his sword, which was in the living room, and Xander pulling a gun on the figures standing there.  Marcus came rushing back at the first two shots, seeing them flinch but not go down.  "Vampires!" he hissed, beheading one and turning it to dust.

Xander switched clips quickly and started again, this time taking the more careful shots.  He got all but one of them and that one rushed him.  He ended up on his back, groping for a stake.  One was tossed to him and he got the thing, but not before it had sunk its teeth into his neck. "Ow," he complained, holding onto it.  "Marc, some help?" he called weakly.

"Of course."  He helped him up and sat him in a chair he righted so he could look at his neck. "It's not gushing.  We should be able to bandage it," he promised, heading to find the first aid kid.  He saw Ethan standing in the doorway.  "He's doing it again.  He sent someone for Xander as well."

"He did what?" Ethan asked sharply, going to help Xander.  "Ripper did what?"

"He sent a halfie with an offer to join them as a research guy, and the offer to kill the halfie because he was pissing him off."  He winced when Ethan checked it. "Is it slowing down?"

"It is," he agreed.   "Should I call the manor and tell them to get your room ready?"

"No, we're all there right now," Xander admitted.  "Oh, want to come to the wedding?  The two good girls got caught with their boys, Zenigata's nephews."

"Wonderful. I'm sure Dawn is ecstatic that they're marrying into the family," he said dryly, smirking at him. "I'd rather miss that oncoming of hell."

"Me too, but I did give birth to one of them.  I'd like to kick her ass in person."

"Here, Xander, let me bandage that for you," Marcus said soothingly, taking Ethan's spot to change the bandage and tape it down.  "There, that should be fine.  Let me get you some tea."

"No, no tea," Xander said as he stood up.  "I 'ported over, I can go back that way.  Be safe and remember to come to the wedding."

"Sure," Marcus agreed with a smile for him.  At least until he had gone.  "He wasn't as fast as usual.  Shouldn't the potion have fixed his joints?"

"That's what the heads said," he offered, going back to the shrine. "Was he given the right potion?"

"They mixed it with their mind-control drugs," one face said.

"We looked back and saw them doing that.  Then they cooked it more."

"So it wasn't the real potion?  Would a new dose help him?"

"He'd be a child again," the heads reminded him.

"True."  He sucked on his bottom lip for a moment.  "Do you have any ideas?"

"Not yet.  Let us think, High Priest.  We will tell the other one to bring him back when we have something."

"Thank you."  He bowed and left them to their thinking.   He had other avenues to look for information.

***

Lupin walked out of the kitchen, stopping when he saw Xander had just appeared and that he was wobbling badly.  "Xan?"  He put down his plate on a table and headed over to help him, sitting him down on the stairs.  "Xander?"  Xander looked up at him, looking a bit confused.  "You're home, babe.  Are you okay?  What happened?"

"Vampire attack at Ethan's."  He touched the side of his neck and hissed.  "Ow."

"Let's get you upstairs so I can look at that for you," he cajoled, leading him up the stairs to the master suite.   Once up there he sat Xander on the toilet and undid one edge of the bandage to look at it. "It's still bleeding."

"Sometimes I do that now," he admitted bitterly.  "It's from the meds."

"That's fine.  Where's the bandage stash?"

"We don't have one here."

"Okay, let me look in the kitchen."  He hurried off, which woke Goemon and brought him jogging to see what was wrong.  "Xander was just at Ethan's.  There was a vampire attack and he's bleeding from the neck.  Go check on him while I find the bandages."  Goemon walked away without having to say anything.   Lupin searched the cabinets, finding some minor bandaides but nothing like a real bandage.  He found the first aid box finally and it had a few gauze pads, those would have to do.  He went back up the stairs, giving Goemon a look. "Usually he's stocked for a war."

"This isn't one of the safehouses for jobs," Xander reminded him.  "I keep that stuff away from here.  There's not an armory either."

"Sorry, Xander."  He opened the box again and sat knelt in front of him, checking his neck. "It's still bleeding.   Press for a bit longer, okay?"  Xander nodded.  "Want to go to the ER?"

"No thanks.  They tend to freak at bite marks."

"As they should," Goemon agreed.  "Most things that bite are dangerous to the public."

"These aren't anymore."

"Good.  Was Marcus there?" Lupin asked, more to keep him talking than anything else.

"Yeah.  He wasn't happy with the attack either.  Ethan and Ripper broke up.  He's been doing it from the way Marcus acted."  Xander yawned.  "I hate this. Each time I get bitten I get sleepy."

"Don't you dare.  We'd have to stake you if you woke up with fangs."  He looked over as the door opened, admitting Bix and Arsene. "Hey, you're back?"

"Just now.  What's happened?"

"Attacked at Ethan's," Lupin told them.  "Arsene, go back to bed."

"Fat chance, he's my mother."

"Out, daughter," Xander ordered. "It's not that bad."

"Then why won't you quit bleeding?"  She looked at her father. "I'll go start the car and bring it around."

"Thanks."

"I don't need to go."

"Yes, you do," Bix said primly.  "You won't quit bleeding so you've got to go get that replaced.  Don't forget his medicines, Lupin."  She walked Arsene off, taking her back to the other room with an open door.  Which turned out to be Fred's.  So they hunted him down, stopping him from going into the maid's room.  Bix glared at him. "I've had enough, young man."  She sat down and paddled him properly, then put him back into his bed and tucked him in tightly, closing the door and standing outside of it until he quit crying and fell back to sleep.  Then she waited ten more minutes just in case he was faking it.  He didn't have patience yet and that would be long enough.  When he didn't come back out she found her own room and laid down, listening to Lupin as he ordered Xander down to the car and her cousin got smart and carried him down to the car.  It was probably the only way the stubborn creature would go.

***

Lupin walked Xander back into the manor house and right up to his room, making the butler give him an odd look.  "He was attacked at a friend's house.  He's fine.  We were just released from the ER."  He got Xander undressed and into bed, and he wasn't complaining since he was nearly asleep.  He laid down next to him and held him so he wouldn't have nightmares, something he knew the younger man still had.  The butler walked in with a breakfast tray.  "Thanks.  Put it on the table.  He won't be up for a while yet."

"That's fine, sir.  Does he have any care instructions?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary.   We've dealt with worse with gunshot wounds."

"Will he need more bandages?"

"No, I picked some of those up," Lupin said with a small smirk for him.  "He'll be fine and they won't be coming here.  They were dealt with."

"Thank you, sir.  If you need me, call down to the kitchen."  He walked off, leaving them to cuddle.   He found the other adults in the kitchen.  "Xander is back," he said calmly.

"Where did he go?" Jigen asked.

"There was an attack at Ethan's last night.  Ripper sent it."  Goemon turned the page on his newspaper.  "His neck wouldn't quit bleeding so Lupin took him to the Emergency Room."

Jigen snatched the paper.  "What?"

"Ripper sent a vampire attack to Ethan's.  Xander helped fight them off.  He was hurt and Lupin took him to the ER," he repeated patiently.

Jigen got up and headed up the stairs to check on them, finding a stranger in there.  "Hi," he said carefully.

"Oh, hello," he said, smiling at him.  He held out a hand.  "What happened?"

"Vampires."  He shook his hand.  "I'm assuming here, but you're Alan?"  He nodded.  "Cool.  I'm Jigen.  Lupin!"  Lupin sat up, blinking at them.  "This is Alan."

"I've seen him on tv," he admitted, lying back down.  "He's fine, he just gets nightmares."

"I've seen."  He walked over and patted Xander on the face.  "Is this a bad day?"

"No.  Go play with the kids for a while and I'll get up in a few hours."  He grinned at him.  "Hi."

"Morning."  He gave him a gentle kiss. "I'll go find Melissa.  She seemed nice."

"She is and her boyfriend is here."

"They're in the backyard," Jigen offered.  "C'mon, I'll lead you down there."  He and Lupin shared a look.

Lupin leaned over him.  "Want him to hold you instead?"

"No.  You're staying on top of the covers, he saw you already."  He yawned and let himself drift off again.  "Night."

"Night, Xander," he whispered, laying his head back down.

Alan looked at Jigen.  "Are you all right with me being here?"

"Yeah, you made him smile."  He whistled from the backdoor, bringing Arsene running.  "This is Alan.  He's up for the day or so.  Play nicely."

"Yes, Uncle Jigen.  Hi."  She grinned and took his hand, leading him off.  "Guys, we're breaking early today," she called.  "Dad's boyfriend is here."

Goemon turned to look at him.  "Good morning."

"Morning.  You must be Goemon.  He's talked a lot about you."  Alan shook his hand and smiled at Melissa.  "So we meet again, and you're much less suitably dressed."

"It's workout clothes," she taunted, smirking at him.  "Guys, be nice to him.  I like him, he's a nice guy."

"Sure," Arsene agreed.  "Want to help us exercise?"

"Eww."

She laughed and shook her head.  "I don't blame you.  We wouldn't either if we could help us, but Uncle G is bad about that stuff."

"So's Mom," Ishi offered.  He nodded at the stranger. "I'm Ishi, that's Arsene.  The one sneaking up behind you is Fred, watch out he bites.   The ones behind us are Kenji, Sarah, and Alex.  The other female is my sister Lotus, and the other guy is 'Lis's guy Brad."

He waved, smiling at the kids.  "I've seen pictures of all of you.  Your father brags compulsively about all of you."

"Enough with the awkward, we've got to plan how to upset the Zenigata clan at the wedding," Arsene said, grinning up at Alan.  "Do you like mean ideas?"

"I don't mind unless they're aimed at me."

"Only if you hurt our mother," she said sweetly.

"Enough," Goemon ordered tiredly.  "You may not torment your sisters at the wedding.  You may not torment the inspectors either.  They'll have enough problems creating a happy home without you four tormenting them."

"Besides, they could join their father-in-law and hunt you down," Brad agreed dryly.   "Not that I don't want to taunt your sisters for being caught, and how Sierra kept going after being caught."

"She did what?" Arsene shrieked. She burst out cackling.  "Only my sister."

"She did what?" Goemon repeated.

"According to the rumors going around, when they were caught, she sneered at Inspector Vecchio and kept on going until she was satisfied," Brad told him with a smirk.  "Kowalski was the second one and he pulled her off by her hair and Zenigata lectured her for hours!"  He chuckled.  "Apparently Vecchio was too stunned to do anything."

"Seeing my sister like that is enough to shock anybody," Arsene said dryly.

Alan looked down at her.  "What is she like without being a slut?"

Melissa dug out her wallet to show him pictures.  "That's Sierra and Savannah last year."

"They're pretty enough to not need that sort of thing," he offered.

"We hoped sending them to an all-girl's school would help but apparently it made it worse," Arsene said bitterly.  "Oh, 'Lis.  Heard an interesting rumor on the boards last night.  Savannah's in Chicago.  Vecchio had to go home for some sort of family event and she went with him to keep herself out of trouble.  She may not be going for Jerry."

"Oh, no," she said, shuddering.  "That's horrible!  That poor Ray!"

Brad snickered.  "I'm betting he feels the same way."

"Do I want to know?"  Jigen called as he walked out the back door.

"Savannah went home with Vecchio to a family event," she called back.

"God," he whined, heading back inside to call someone to make sure it wasn't what he thought.  That would be too much for him.

Necessary Attachments

Sierra Lupin looked at the adults staring at her while she was trying to eat.  "It's totally my fault," she said finally, carefully putting down her silverware.  "I screwed up and I'm sorry I drug Morgan with me."

"No, I had just as much to do with that as you did," Morgan said quietly.   He glared at his uncle.  "Do not say another word," he warned.

"I haven't said anything yet."

"No, but I know what you're thinking," he said, his eyes narrowing.  "Would you rather I had been having fun with Lotus?"

"Lotus would have killed you," Dawn said smartly.

"I doubt it," Sierra snorted.  "She's innocent but she's no different than the rest of us girls."

"You'd be surprised," Zenigata said bitterly.  "Eat, children.  We've still got to work on the school issue since I know your father chucked you out of the house for this."

"Actually," Dawn said, sipping her water and putting the glass down.  "Lupin and I came to an agreement over this. The girls are under penalty of political marriage if she doesn't marry Morgan.  Which would mean that some crook would have a tighter link to Lupin, even though he's ready to retire for a bit."

"He's not old enough."

"Yes he is, with parental permission," she snapped.  "Which he has from me.  He will be facing up to his mistakes and they will be marrying, and if there's a baby on the way I'm going to kick someone's ass."  She glared at Sierra.  "Are we clear?"

"Yes, Dawn," she said quietly.  "I'm on the patch."

"Good," Morgan said, nodding his head.  "I like that idea.  Keep on it please.  I'm not ready to be a father yet."

"There had better not be *any* children," Zenigata growled, glaring at his wife.  "He's too young."

"He's not.  He fucked up, he's going to pay for it. Either he marries her or else I'm going to kick his ass out of the house.  Your choice of course, Morgan."

"We're marrying," he said calmly. "I've already agreed tot that."

"You're too young," Zenigata said firmly.

"Uncle Zenny, shut up," he snapped.  "Just shut up."  He stood up.  "She's mine.  I'm here, I'm marrying her.  She'll be going to the Academy with me when I go.  We'll be attending the same school.  If you don't like it, I'm sorry.  We can probably be set up by Lupin in one of his old safehouses."

"Sit," Dawn snapped.  Morgan sat down.  "I agree, he's getting married, and he's *my* nephew.  Be thankful I'm not having him castrated at the same damn time."  Zenigata got up and stomped off.  "And if you don't like it, you're really going to hate the wedding since everyone's showing up!" she yelled after him.  She glared at the kids.  "Do not set him up further," she warned.  "It'll only get worse until afterwards.  Everything's set up.  Yes, Morgan, your mother knows.  Someone in the lawyer's office told her."

"What about my sister?" Sierra asked quietly.

"Vecchio will have her back in time," Dawn said firmly.  "And hopefully he'll have her attitude fixed before then."

"Maybe Vecchio's introducing her to some of her natal family," Morgan offered.  Sierra looked at her.  "Isn't her father from there?"

"I doubt he'd know any of them," Dawn told him.   "Eat."  They dug back in.  "Sierra, did you want to go to the Academy?"

"If I can," she said quietly, staring at her plate.  "I know it's not the ideal, Auntie Dawn.  I'm sorry."

"You'll survive, many women have.  With any luck your career won't be shotputted by having kids.  By the way, I'd better at least be ten years older or else there'll be a real fit."

"I can't imagine my natural mother's reaction to a grandchild," Morgan said with a mean smirk.  Dawn snickered at that.  "Do we need to do anything before the ceremony?"

"No.  We've got it all set.  It'll be a civil ceremony.  There'll be a reception with everyone there but it'll be in two rooms so the crooks can have their own room and not corrupt the cops."  The kids nodded.  "Then Savannah will have hers and we'll do a joint cutting the cake thing and dancing for those who want to."  They nodded again.  "If there's a hitch, it'll be done anyway and the party will change."

"Yes, Auntie Dawn," Sierra said quietly, digging back into her dinner.  "What about Buffy?"

"She's been told and invited since she called earlier to accuse me of forcing you to do this.  She may not come but I can't be sure.  If so, you don't have to associate."

"Thanks," Sierra said.  "I would have made a mess of this and Daddy would have made it a horribly showy thing."

"Actually, you'd probably have been married in Vegas," Zenigata said as he came back.  "Which is still an option," he offered.

"Then Buffy would get a chance to throw a worse fit," she said firmly.  "All that's left are the dresses and things.  Lavelle said he's sending those."

"Why is daddy buying our dresses?"

"Because he's got decent taste in what your sisters wear," Zenigata admitted bitterly.  "We got pictures of the others at the Academy's formal function this summer.  Speaking of which, I just got a call.  There was a small vampire attack at Ethan's.  So Marcus is bringing him?"

"That's fine," she agreed. "I like them together.  What did Ripper do this time?"

"He apparently sent the vampires.  They attacked Lavelle."

"Is mom okay?" Sierra asked quietly.

"He said slightly injured but living.  Apparently your father's new boyfriend won't be coming with them.  He's obviously smarter than the thieves are."

"Xander said his boyfriend didn't like weddings so he's not coming," Dawn said patiently.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa," Sierra demanded, holding up a hand.  "Since when did *mom* start going out with someone other than my *dad*?"

"Since he started to ignore him," Zenigata said smugly.  "He fucked himself over grandly so your *mother* is dating a comedian and is happy from what I've heard."

Ray Kowalski walked in and pulled out a chair.  "Vecchio's back at his hotel room.  Savannah behaved, mostly. She did flirt with his nephew, but his nephew was getting married so he got to slap her once or twice."  He grinned at Dawn, who handed over the meatloaf.  "Thanks, Dawn."

"Welcome, Ray.  Do you know anything about Alan?"

"I've seen some of his shows and some of the movies he's been in," he admitted.  "He's a funny guy.  He's not afraid to be seen in public with Xander.  Xan said he hates weddings so he's not coming.  Also, he said that Alan had to keep himself from babying Xander over his new holes in his neck.  Also, there'll be a long doctor's visit while they're in town.  Xander's knees are getting worse."

"Worse?" Zenigata asked happily.

"He's threatened us to make sure that we can't chase the kids," Ray warned.  "He said we'd be able to retire with a good pension and all that, but that he couldn't let us hurt the kids. He did say that we're not in any danger until we try them again."

"That's something to look forward to," Dawn said bitterly.  "I'm guessing that you're going to be fine?"

"Yeah, he said we'd all live, just not be able to chase after crooks ever again.  He thinks our 'shot in the line of duty' pensions will be enough to retire on."

"I've got retirement accounts," Dawn admitted.

"I've got a trust fund," Sierra put in.  "From Grandfather and Great-Grandfather.  They made it in case one of the offspring wanted to go straight."  She picked up her water to take a sip.  "Savannah might have one.  I'm not sure what mom set up for her."  She took another drink and sat back, looking at the Ray.  "Are we anticipating trouble?"

"No, we've called a truce for it.  Just in case so we don't all die," Kowalski admitted.  "It's safer and the Commissioner agreed that it'd be fine since they're not on the Most Wanted list at the moment.  Any idea what they're doing yet?"

"There's two ideas," Sierra admitted.  "I've been on the bulletin boards recently to talk to Arsene.  They said that it's either going to be a multi-tier offensive on different days, or that they'll be in one city and daddy and them will be in another."

"I'll be watching for a letter," Zenigata said bitterly.

"No, you'll be watching for two," Morgan reminded him.  "Arsene will announce herself.  She's too much like her father to do otherwise."

"She's not a gentleman thief."

"No, but she's a Lupin," he pointed out firmly.  "She'll announce it, if only to prove that they're just as good, if not better.  Any idea on the younger kids?"

"Oh, there's some news," Sierra said bitterly. "Do you know why Uncle Jigen nearly had a heart attack?" she asked Zenigata.  He shuddered and shook his head. "Fred tried to nurse off Melissa.  It took daddy and Ishi to pull him off.  Then he protested that she had pretty breasts and that she'd make a good mommy for him.  That's what set it off."

Zenigata and Dawn both shuddered at that thought.  Kowalski shook his head.  "Well, he's a Lupin," he snorted.   "I'm sure he'll be chasing girls soon."

"Too late," Sierra told him with a smug look.  "At that nice little meeting they had at the school last year for parents, he and Kenji both went chasing chicks.  Fred got more but Kenji wasn't caught for longer."

"I'm sure his father was unimpressed."

"They're working on him now.  Fred's apparently incurable," Kowalski told them. "Xander was worrying about Melissa killing him for it."  Dawn stared at him.  "She's got a wicked temper.  She gets that from her mother," he offered.

"Yeah, but she's got her father's aim," Zenigata said, rubbing his thigh.

"She's not that good," Dawn assured him.

"Bullshit," Kowalski snorted.  She smacked him. "She is!  She hates the sight of blood but that hasn't stopped her yet.  She'll shoot and she shoots well, but she'll shoot to wound.  She's got the skills to do the job."

"She might but she's mean as anything," Zenigata told him.  "Watch out for her."

"What did you expect?" Kowalski asked dryly.  "You caught her on the worst day of her life, when her father's possibly dying, and she's emotional.  You're lucky she didn't kill you."  Zenigata glared at him.  "Consider it, boss.  What would you have done?"

"I probably would have done something to someone," he admitted finally.

"Um, I decided to give the thieves something to deal with besides us," Dawn put in to break up the morbid thoughts her husband was having.  "I invited someone extra.  She'll be of interest to them so maybe they'll leave us alone."  Sierra's fork dropped to her plate.  "What?"

"You invited Fujiko?" Sierra demanded.  "Are you *insane*!  Even I know better than that!"

"Yeah, there's some problems with that," Ray agreed.  "Like she tried to sell Xander to some white slavery guys."

"He's a thief, he should expect the others to turn on him," Zenigata offered.

"She also tried to give Lotus away," Ray told him.  "Some of the guys from Athens had to save her.  Then she and Xander had a face off and Xander almost killed her but someone suggested she get a chance at life, so he tossed her in the harbor while tied up.   This is a bad idea, Dawnie."

"I can't uninvite her," she whined.  "She's already heading this way."

"Who's telling daddy?" Sierra asked.  Everyone stared at her.  "Who wants to see her guts decorating the cake?" she asked patiently.  Zenigata raised his hand.  "Really?"

"Really," he agreed with a smirk. "That'd make me happy."

"And I'm sure Uncle Goemon would *love* to do that for you," she reminded him.  He groaned. "If you can't do it, I will."

"Let him know when he gets here, it'll be fun watching him try to control himself."

Sierra sighed.  "And we want mom to be *more* unhappy? Isn't he in enough pain from the stupid people like my father and Uncle Jigen?"  She got up. "If you won't, I will.  That's cruel."  She walked off, going to email her father, muttering the whole way.  By the time she had logged in, she had changed her mind and emailed her sisters.  They'd handle it with more couth and control.

***

Arsene screamed in outrage, bringing her Uncle running. He was the only adult in the house.  He slammed open her door and she pointed at the screen.  "Death is warranted!" she demanded, stomping a foot.

"What happened?" Jigen asked calmly, walking in to read the message.  He groaned and held his head.  "Oh, damn."  He hugged Arsene.  "Calm down, it'll be fine.  We'll deal with it."

"Do you want the cement or the bullets?" she demanded, still hot enough to want to jump up and down and scream. "How *dare* she!"

"What's wrong!" Ishi yelled.

"No, stay out!  It's a wedding fucking tragedy!" she yelled, reaching over to slam the door before he could come in.  She looked at her uncle, arms crossed over her chest, one foot tapping.  "Well?"

It was moments like these that she looked exactly like an enraged Lupin, the same facial expression, the same foot tapping, all of it.  "We've got to warn them," he agreed. "I'm not sure *how* but we've got to tell them."

"What about when daddy decides to drool over her again?"

"He wouldn't.  He hasn't in years."

"He had mom then."

"Good point," he sighed.  "Okay.  We'll make a small plan.  Tell Lotus, just because she'll take it worse.  We'll tell the others when we get into town.  It'll cause the least hell then."  She scowled at him.  "It'll make it easier, Arsene, trust me."

"Fine.  On your head be it when she dies."

He shrugged.  "I'd help, that's your father who's concerned with her life."

"Good point.  Okay, I'll write her back to tell her that we'll handle this.  That you'll tell Lotus."  He grimaced but nodded.  "Good.  Go deal with that."  She bent over to type in a message, letting her sister know that she had gotten the message and that they'd handle the rest of the family for her.

Jigen walked out of her room.  "Nothing major," he told Ishi.  "We'll tell you later.  Just wedding stuff."  He grabbed Lotus and walked her down to the library, closing them in there.  "Lotus, sit," he said calmly.

"Someone was insane enough to invite my mother, wasn't she?" she asked dryly.

"I see you take after your father in other ways," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "The telepathic gene came too."

"Well, yeah, because Melissa and Ar have their own special language sometimes.  Otherwise I wouldn't have to read minds."  She waved her hand around.  "Other than that, which stupid brat did it?"

"Dawn herself.  She thought it'd give us something to do besides bother the cops."

"So, are you shooting her or are you creating some special cement shoes for her?"

"We haven't decided yet," Jigen admitted.  "We're not telling anyone else until we get there."

"Sure.  So we're letting Mom kill her?"

"We're not sure yet," Jigen repeated, staring her down.

"Of course.  I won't tell the others or daddy.  Let him have some happy days remaining."  She walked out, going to make herself stay calm.  Otherwise she might be doing something stupid soon.  She found Brad out where she wanted to work out.  "Melissa's not inside?"

"No, she was, but she's having a girlie day.  She wanted to suntan and do her nails."

"It's part of the whole 'my sister's getting married thing," Lotus assured him. "She'll go back to normal after it.  Or possibly during it depending on the threats presented."

"Threat?" he asked, perking up at that.

"Threat," she sighed.  She stepped closer.  "My mother's been invited.  You need to watch us.  She tried to sell me in the past."

He gave her a gentle hug.  "She gets you and the younger kids over her dead body," he promised, patting her on the back.  He saw his girlfriend coming out and stepped away quickly.  "I wasn't groping."

"I know.  Lotus isn't like that," she said with a shrug.  "What happened?"

Lotus looked at her.  "A surprise addition to the wedding."

"A baby?" she asked with a shudder of revulsion.

"Not that I know of.  No, some guest surprises.  I was warning him to watch out for the kids."

"Yeah, it'd be bad if we sicced Kenji and Fred on them," Melissa said bitterly.

"It's not a bad idea," Lotus offered.

"We'd get into major trouble."

"Yeah, but it'd be funny," Lotus suggested with a grin.  "During the reception?"

"Maybe," Melissa allowed.  "He'll probably get into more trouble.  He hasn't tried to hit on the maid or us in days.  Not since Bix spanked him."

"Yeah, it's been a nice change," Lotus agreed.

"Now, what is this really about?"

"I promised to let your father tell you."

"Ah.  Let me guess....someone tried to be sneaky....Fujiko?"  Lotus shuddered.  "Fine, make me wait."  She winked at her boyfriend.  "So, how do you like the family?"

"They're very interesting," he admitted.

She grinned at him.  "You can be impolite, we won't complain."

"Okay, your fathers are insane, they're hurting your mother, and I kinda feel sorry for your mother in a lot of ways."

Melissa nodded.  "Me too."

Lotus shrugged. "I almost wished he'd kicked their asses once and then kept them hostage for a while."

"That thought was put around, but then again I've also seen the thought from Uncle Lupin that he'd be willing to kidnap mom and stick her in the choker for life and make her deal with it."

"We would have killed him," Melissa reminded her boyfriend.  "Besides, Uncle Lupin knows better.  He's usually more sensitive than that."

"Maybe seeing young love would kick him in the ass," Lotus snorted.  "He needs it."  She walked off, going to find a new spot to be calm in.  Hopefully everyone would leave her alone for a while.  She ran into the boys and frowned at them.  "What are you doing?"

"We watching bugs," Kenji said, grinning at her.  "You can help."

"She's a sissy," Fred whined.

"Girls can watch bugs," she told him, laying down between them.  They curled up against her side and cuddled in with her, making her calm down.  "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome," Kenji agreed, grinning at her.  "You needed to watch bugs."

"You like bugs?" Fred asked.

"No, but I like being calm with you guys."  She kissed them both on the head and let them snuggle back in.  They were the best drugs she could want, and the best birth control.  Then again, Fred only pinched her once so maybe he was learning better.

***

Xander walked into the hall, handing over the two dress bags to Dawn.  "Here you go," he said happily, a forced happiness but his daughters didn't need to know that.  "Simple, elegant, by the people who do formal dresses for people like me and did a great number of mine.  They may need some length taken up or they can wear heels."

"If not, I can hem," Dawn admitted.  "Hey, um, Xander, have you seen any of the other guests that got invited?"

He smirked at her.  "Yes, I did see her.  I'm presently keeping myself from killing her.  Who invited the bitch?"  Dawn shrugged.  "Fine.  Thanks.  We're keeping it from Goemon and Lupin so far.  We'll be telling them tonight.  Need help with anything else?"

"No, we've got the hotel doing the decorating, they're doing the catering.  The place is going to be an office so that's not a problem.  This was the last thing missing."

"Good.  Lupin brought special champagne for them to toast with."

"Decent.  I'll get that from him later if he doesn't send it directly to the hotel."  He nodded.  "Then we're good?"

"Yeah, but I'm still going to kick your ass for inviting her," he said sweetly.  "Send Kowalski over to bug us if you get tired of him helping."  He strolled off, heading out to ignore Buffy once again since she was lurking in the hallway.  This time he wasn't able to, she grabbed him by the arm. "Yes?" he asked patiently.

"Tell me you don't support this!" she demanded.

"I'm the one who made the rule stating that if they got caught before they were sixteen, they were getting married.  Besides, she wants to be a cop, that'll make it easier on her."  He got free.  "So yes, I am supporting this wedding and I'm going to kick his ass if he doesn't go through with it and then force him to.  Up to him of course," he finished with a gentle smile.  She shuddered and walked off. "Good idea."  He went back to the hotel, finding Lupin pacing and Jigen staring out the window. "Problems?"

"I take it you've seen our additional guest?" Lupin asked.

"Which one?  Buffy?"

Lupin shuddered.  "No, though I'll gladly shoot her if you need us to, Xan," he admitted.  "I was talking about the other one."

Ishi walked in and slammed the door.  "Are we talking about my mother being here!" he demanded.

"Yup," Jigen admitted.  "Dawn did it."

"Can we do to her what she tried to do to mom and Lotus?"

"Nope," Lupin admitted. "I don't know anyone bad enough."

"I do," Xander admitted smugly.  "But I leave that up to Goemon."

"He's meditating."

"Hmm."  Xander headed for Goemon's room, tapping gently before breaking the lock and walking inside to sit next to him.  "Hey."

"What?"

"Fujiko's here."

"Did you want to kill her?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to slice her open or if you'd like me to torture her before she was killed."  Goemon gave him a harsh look.  "I was thinking like your son, doing what she did, only in reverse."

"No."  He closed his eyes again.  "We are still married."

"Goemon, that hasn't stopped her and we both know that," he said gently.  "That makes her unfaithful and a legal target."

"I knew she could not remain faithful," he admitted quietly.  "I had my doubts she did not try Lupin while we were together."

"If he did, then I'd be kicking his ass about that," Xander snorted.  "But I'm in pain."  He stood up and winced.  "Ow."  He slowly shifted. "Ah, better now, I can feel my feet again."

"When is your appointment?"

"Tomorrow morning, before the wedding.  Then we'll be doing any of the scans the next day and going back after that."

"Fine.  Thank you for being honest with me."

"Uh, not totally.  Dawnie invited her."

"Of course she did," he sighed.  "It was probably a diversion tactic."

"Which it is," Jigen agreed from the doorway.  "Lupin wanted to know if you wanted her killed or just in misery."

"He would not be able to do so," Goemon reminded him.

"True, but I can," Jigen pointed out helpfully.  "Xander can, the kids can, hell, even Brad's offered if she tries for the kids."

"Or I've got a nice place to put her just like she tried to do to me," Xander suggested.

"I will handle it," Goemon said firmly.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Thank you.  Please leave."

"Going," Xander agreed, walking out.  "I've got to take a dose, be right back."  He headed for his own room, finding Lupin in there.  "Problems?"

"No," he admitted.  "Just needed the quiet.  Want your bed back?"

"Please.  I've got to take some medicine and I need a nap."  He dug in his bags, coming up with his pouch for his medicines, pulling out his two bottles.  Lupin got up and opened a soda, handing it over.  "Thank you."  He gulped them both then went to lay down on the bed.  "I'm sorry I'm in such a bad mood, but I ache."

"Of course you do," Lupin agreed.  "Want a backrub?"  Xander sighed and shook his head. "No strings, Xan, just a backrub.  I know it can help some."

"No, I'm okay," he said tiredly.  "Go have fun with your thoughts."  He looked up when Lupin hadn't moved.  "It can't be that fun watching me."

"It's not really but it is what I was thinking about."  He laid back down, facing his former lover.  "I want us to try again," he said boldly.

"No."

Lupin frowned for a moment.  "I'm serious.  I want to try again.  I want to pay attention to you.  I want to be there when your knees are replaced.  I want to do all of it, Xander."

"Lupin, you've already overran your limit of 'do over's.  You do this and then in a few weeks something comes up and you drift off, and then you need me so you come back, then you drift off, then you come back because you need me for a job, then you drift off until you get super horny again, then you come back.  I can't take that.  I'm not a yo-yo.   I need someone who's there.  Solidly there, all the time there.  I can't take it when you've got to go plan for six months and then suddenly you realize you're frustrated because you're horny and come to me. I'm not a receptacle.  If you want one of those, hire a working girl like I used to."  He flipped over.  "I'm not going there."

Lupin moved closer, cuddling up to his back.  "Since we're slowing down, we won't have all the jobs to pull. I won't be able to go plan anything."

"I bet," Xander snorted.  "You'll be giving your daughter ideas for years to come and helping Melissa plan them.  Get off!"

"No.  The warmth'll do some good for you," he countered, putting an arm around his former lover's waist.  He could see the desire to stab him and tsk'd gently.  "If you try to hurt me, I'll move my hand and you'll stab yourself."  Xander grabbed his hand and bent his finger back as he moved it, making Lupin wince.  "C'mon, Xander.  I'm not trying anything.   All I want to do is hold you and make you feel better."

"Lupin, you never *just* want to cuddle," he said bitterly.  "Nor do you usually want to cuddle at all.  Did Ethan get you?"

"No, but I did see Willow."

"Fuck!"

"Yeah, Buffy invited her to help her stop this.  Jigen's already had a talk with her and she remembers him.  She's not going to help Buffy stop it but she did say she wanted to apologize to you."

"Whine, I'm not going there either."  He removed the hand again.  "I'm not yours to cuddle anymore."

"Fine."  He stayed next to his body however, getting comfortable.  "We're still going tomorrow, right?"

"Yup. I'm hoping he's got something for me."

"Me too, Xander.  I hope he's got a lot of stuff for you to help you."  He switched tactics, stroking his arm.  "I promise, I won't try to grope if you want a backrub."

"Lupin!"

"Sorry."  He gave him a small smile.  "I'm trying, Xander."

"Lupin, it's too late to try.  So just give up already.  You ignored me for too long and I left."  He flipped over, glaring at his former mentor.  "We're over, Lupin.  I'm not taking you back. You fucked up too many times. You ignored me for far too long.  Even Ethan said I should have done this the last time you ignored me for months on end.  I'm not a teddy bear to be put down when you're not having nightmares."

"I know you're not."  He reached up a hand to brush some of the silver hair off Xander's face.  "I never thought you were.  The life got in the way.  We were always together."

"Yeah, but you don't talk to me when we're working.  You give me an order and a target."

"I did more than that.  I explained plans to you."

"Only to give me an order and to tell me who to take out."

"Oh."  He considered it.  He had been doing that for the past few years.  "Can I have one last chance?" he pleaded.

"Why? I'm not coming back to the life, Lupin!  I want little bit of mobility I have left to be doing things I enjoy the hell out of.  Maybe I'll even go surfing again.  Maybe some swimming.  Maybe other stuff, but I've got to do it before my knees die for good.  I don't think replacements are going to be as good and I doubt they're going to make me feel the same way."

"Probably not," he agreed sadly.  "I'm sorry, Xander."

"So am I, Lupin, but I tried to get you to notice me.  That's why I went back into the choker for that convention.  It's pitiful that you want to be with me but you only paid attention to me when I had tits, and even then you ignored me a lot toward the end.  I deserve more than that, you told me so."

"I did," Lupin agreed wryly.  He had made his own bed by making Xander stronger.  "Fine.  Can I at least hang out with you while we're here?  Jigen's gotten morbid again."

"He nearly died for real this time, Lupin.  Of course he was."

"I know."  He gave Xander a gentle hug.  "I'm sorry for what it's worth."

"So am I."  He flipped back over.  "Now can I take a nap?"

"I still think a backrub would help you some."

"There's masseuse's all over the city."

"But why pay for it when you've got a master of it at hand," he teased.  "I promise, no funny stuff, Xander. You can keep on briefs and everything so I don't touch you where you don't want."

"Fine."  Xander got up and stripped down to his thong, then climbed back onto the bed, letting Lupin find some oil to work on him.  He tensed up as the warm hands touched his shoulders.  "I don't ache there."

"No, but I'm being a full service masseuse," Lupin teased lightly.  "Now, *relax*!"  He worked harder, making Xander relax against his will.  He didn't do anything funny, didn't try to touch him anywhere that would make Xander flinch and undo his work.  By the end, Xander was nearly purring and he was half-asleep.  "Want me to do the front?" he whispered.  Xander shook his head.  "Okay.  I'll let you nap.  I'll get you up for dinner."  He snuck out, closing the door gently.  "He's asleep."

"Did you two talk?" Melissa asked archly.

"We did and I was giving him a backrub."  He grabbed a towel out of the bathroom to wipe his hands off.  He tossed it back once he had sat down beside his daughter.  "What are we wearing tomorrow?"

"Clothes," Melissa snorted.

"Ladies," Lupin warned. "You can't wear jeans and sneakers to your sisters' wedding.  Now, for real, what are we wearing?"

"You're wearing your working clothes, Jigen's wearing his," Arsene said dryly. "I'm wearing my usual and so's Melissa.  Ishi, are you being a hitter or a samurai tomorrow?"

"Samurai.  Lotus?"

"Samurai."

"Cool beans, so we've all got clothes," Melissa said.  "I'm wearing my blue outfit."

"We should probably try to dress up a bit," Jigen offered.  "Maybe a skirt suit?"

"Eww, pantyhose."  All three girls shuddered.

"Then look nice for Brad," Lupin suggested with a smirk for Melissa, who blushed.  "Ahhhh, what are you wearing?"

"Something that'll make me look prettier than my stupid twin," Melissa told him.  "Made for me by the same person who did my formal gown, and it's still got pants."

"If I have to wear a dress, all I've got is stockings and a short skirt and maybe a t-shirt.  I'll look like every teenager in every mall in America," Arsene complained.

"You have a card and there's a shopping mall not three blocks from here," Lupin said dryly.

"Are you sure you want to let her out alone?" Lotus asked.

"Yes, I can shop without finding something trashy," she shot back, glaring at her buddy.  "Though, I do still need to buy sis a wedding present.  Is lingerie appropriate for this one since she's a ho?"

"No," Lupin said patiently.  "Get her a nice gift card or something.  That way they can decorate whatever hell Pops will be sticking them in."

"Sure.  From where?"

"Um," Jigen offered.  "Books for Savannah?"

"Music, or a hope chest of linens," Lupin offered.

"Okay, I'll find something," she decided, standing up.  "Anyone else who needs to go?"  No one said anything.  "Fine, I'll be back."   She grabbed her purse and headed out of the hotel room.  "Hey, Brad.  She's in there lounging with the 'rents.  I'm going shopping.  Any ideas of what I should get her?"

"Sheets?  Music?"

"I was thinking sheets with straps."

Brad smirked as she walked on, shaking his head.  "Lupin the Fourth is one of a kind," he said in awe.  He tapped on the door then walked in.  "Hey.  I'm back.  My mother warned me not to pick up any bad habits."  He grinned at Melissa.  "Did you want to head to the mall too?"

"Sure," she agreed, glancing at her father, who nodded her off. "Thanks, daddy."  She kissed him on the cheek and grabbed her wallet, then headed out with him.   She took his arm as they walked down the halls, grinning up at him.  "What are we shopping for?"

"Well, you'll need something pretty to wear with that blue outfit and you won't be able to wear anything that we've stolen...so I was thinking a new necklace?"

"Sounds good to me," she agreed happily.

***

Dawn looked at the doorway as someone walked through it, nodding politely at Lupin.  "Are we ready?"

"We are."   They walked up to the window and pushed forward both sets of forms.  "I've got written permission of the other father," he offered, handing it over. "He's in bed right now, just out of the hospital.  We got it notarized."

The clerk read over the forms, looking at Dawn first.  "Your sons?"

"My nephews, but I have custody."  She dug out the custody paperwork and handed it over.  "Here you go.  He fucked up very badly this time," she said with a gentle smile.

"And both of us told the girls they'd be marrying whoever they broke in if they were too young by our standards," Lupin said grimly.  The clerk looked at him so he grinned.  "Yes, it's me.  They're my *good* daughters too."  She shuddered and stamped the forms, then handed them back.  "When's a good time?"

"We've got an appointment in two hours," Dawn told him.   "Meet us back here after getting a snack and getting the others up."    She went off, going to get the girls and boys ready.

Lupin strolled out, nodding politely at the cop who was ferrying Dawn around.  "Morning."

"Morning," he agreed grimly.  "Are we being polite today?"

"Always," he said happily.  He went out to his rental car and hopped in, heading to the hotel.  He pulled up outside, letting the valet take it for now.  On his way up, he stopped to order pastries and coffee.  At the very least his daughter and Xander would need them.  From the corner of his eye, he could see someone trying to sneak up on him and glared at her.  "Fujiko," he said coldly.

"Don't be that way, Lupin," she cooed, trying to lean on him but he sidestepped away.  "Lupin, what's wrong?"

"You're a slut," he said dryly.  He nodded at the receptionist.  "How long?"

"Maybe twenty minutes, sir.  Anything else?"

"Add a few plates of scrambled eggs," he ordered.  "Goemon will need his strength when he threatens the boys."

"Sir, were you aware that someone already made an order for your rooms?" the receptionist asked, typing it into her system.  "No coffee, some bacon, some bagels, and some juice."

"Then add those to it," he ordered.  "Thank you."  He walked off, ignoring that Fujiko existed.

"You can't ignore me, Lupin.  I don't go away that easy."

"No, you were one of those who only went on your back for diamonds," he called back, waving his middle finger back at her.  "Go away, Fujiko, before I let Lotus have you."  He trotted up the stairs, tapping on the door before walking in.  "Did we check for poisons?"

"We did, daddy," Arsene said patiently.  "Did she try to grab you?"

"Yup, sure did," he said bitterly, closing and locking the door.  "I ordered coffee, pastries, and eggs."

"That'll go nicely with our breakfast," Melissa assured him with a grin.  "Uncle Goemon refuses to get up.  Lotus tried and now she's pouting in her room.  Daddy Xander can't wake up either."

"I'll deal with Goemon," he promised, heading that way.  He tapped gently then walked in and slammed the door. "Your wife just tried to jump me. She's staying here."  Goemon grunted.  "C'mon, you've got to get up."

"I do not feel well."

"Tough crap, Goemon. You've gotten up to wander around with food poisoning for no reason than to prove you were strong enough to do so.  You can get up to play your part of honor guard to make sure we don't kill our daughters."  Goemon glared at him.  "Now, Goemon."

"I do not feel well," he said more firmly.

"Were you poisoned?"

"No."

"Then get up."  He leaned down.  "If you don't, who'll keep Xan from torturing your wife?"

"He has honor."

"He's also got great anger and rage about that woman and what she did to him and to your daughter.  Now, if you don't get up, she'll be *alllll* alone with your sons and daughter."

"Fine," he complained, sitting up.  "Are you happier now?"

"No, my daughter's getting married to the son of my greatest enemy.  Why would I be happy!" he asked hotly.  "My daughter, the good daughter, went against everything I'd ever taught her, everything that *Xander* had ever taught her, and took her pleasure long before she was supposed to and did it disrespectfully.  I'm pissed. I need you there so I don't kill her."  He calmed himself.  "That's why *you're* playing honor guard and making sure she says I do."

"Yes, Lupin," Goemon said tiredly.  "I will guard them for you, if you'll keep Fujiko from me and my offspring."

"Deal," Lupin agreed, hauling him up.  "Shower, get dressed, we've ordered breakfast."  He walked out, going to wake up the other sleeping body.  He nudged Xander gently, then leaned down next to his ear.  "Get up."

"Mmm, Alan?"

"No, it's me, Xander," Lupin said, trying to keep from showing his pain.  The last time he knew Xander was still calling *his* name, even when it was Jigen waking him up.  "You've got to get up for the wedding.  It's time to get ready."  Xander stretched and shifted, then gave him a half-lidded frown.  "You've got to get up.  Fujiko's in the hotel and she's already made a grab for me.  I need you to guard me and the kids. Please?" he pleaded.

"Sure," he agreed, then he yawned.  "Let's go."  He held up a hand and Lupin helped pull him up.  "Doctor's?"

"In about forty minutes," Lupin admitted.

"Sure."  Xander wandered toward the bathroom, wincing every few steps.  He closed the door and Lupin slumped, heading back out to the living room.

"Xander's up," he announced.  "He's showering.  Jigen, doctor's?"

"Yeah, Lupin."  He wiped his mouth and poured some coffee.  "When's the wedding?"

"Two hours."

"That's cutting it close."

"Yeah, but we can reschedule if we must," he offered.  He sat down to get his own breakfast, noticing that someone had left just enough food for the two of them.  "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome, daddy," Arsene said with a grin.  "Are we guarding here?"

"Yeah, you do that," he agreed.  "Melissa, make sure they all get there."

"I'll do that, just in case she starts to create or read," Ishi promised.  "It'll take Lotus that long to get her hair perfect anyway."

"That's the beauty of short hair," Arsene quipped.

"I don't have that problem, I'm simply bunning mine," Melissa chided smugly.

"I'm doing something nice and classical.  It'll take me very little time," Lotus chided her brother. "It'll take you longer to shave.  Oh, that's right, you only have to do that twice a week."

"That's more often than you do your legs," Ishi smarted back.

"Children," Melissa sighed.

"Sorry."

"He's sorry," Lotus agreed.

"Kids," Jigen warned.

"Sorry," they told him, all grinning at him.

"If you can't behave, we're taking you all to the doctor's with us," Lupin agreed.  They rushed to their rooms to get ready.

Xander came out and looked around.  "No kids?" he asked as he sat down.

"They're getting ready," Jigen told him.  "You okay?"

"No drugs yet."  He poured some coffee and added sugar and milk, then sipped it gently.  He plopped his pills down on a clean plate and took them one at a time, then added food to the plate to nibble on.  "Who's coming with us?"

"I was going to drive you," Lupin offered.

"That leaves Goemon here with the kids," Xander reminded him.  "Two girls trying to do their hair isn't what he needs this morning."

"We'll be fine," Melissa offered as she came out in her pantsuit.  It was well-tailored and fit her curves.  The medium blue silk looked great against her skin and hair, and her hair was pulled back behind her ears with combs. "I decided a bun made me look too old."

"I like it," Lupin assured her.

"Thanks. Lupin!"  Arsene came out tugging her skirt down.  Her father's mouth fell open and he blinked a few times.  "Jacket?" she reminded her.

"Oops."  She walked back into her room, grabbing her jacket to put on over the lace tank top.  "There, better?"

"Much," Lupin squeaked.

Jigen coughed.  "Lupin, he's having Fujiko flashbacks.  Do you really like this outfit?"

"Yes," she said patiently.  "I look cute.  The boys all gaped."

"That's because your tits are showing through the shirt," Xander told her.  "Bras are a neat invention, Arsene."

She looked down her shirt, then at him.  "I'm wearing one.  It's skin colored."  She took off her jacket to show off the strap.  "See?"  She put it back on.  "There, better?"

"Much," her father admitted, starting to cough.  "Daughter, you're scary.  You look like a real woman."

"Thanks," she said sweetly, grinning at him.  "Want to check for panties too?  Or how about that my thigh-highs go all the way up?"

"Stockings?" Xander spluttered, dropping his coffee cup.

"I'm not wearing pantyhose.  They're nasty and they trap in moisture."

"More than we wanted to know!" Jigen said loudly.  "No more information!"

"Sorry," Lupin said, totally unrepentant.   "Daddy, what are you wearing now?"

"My black one probably," he said bitterly, getting up to change.  "Someone pour me more coffee."  He slammed his room's door.

Lupin poured him the last of the coffee and carried it to him, leaving it on his dresser. "More coffee, Xander."  He left him there, closing the door again.  Everyone was staring at him.  "What?"

"No trying to hit on him?" Lupin the Fourth asked.

"No suggestive comments?" Jigen asked.

"No touching?" Jigen the second asked.

"No helping him with his jacket or shirt?" Goemon the Fourteenth asked.

"Congrats, Uncle," Lotus said with a smile as she came out of her room, fussing with her obi.

"Yes, congratulations, Lupin, you are growing up.  You can take no for an answer," Goemon the Thirteenth told him.

"Fuck off," he sneered.  "Xander said he didn't want me. I can't force myself on him."

"That's very true," Xander said from behind him.   "Thank you for that courtesy."  He glared at the kids.  "Behave or sit in the waiting room while Jigen and I go in."

"Yes, mom," they said in unison.  Ishi snuck off to get dressed, which woke Brad and sent him out to forage for food.

"Sorry we forgot about you, kid," Jigen offered, handing over the rest of his confiscated pastries.

"That's okay, it won't take me long to get dressed."  He brought two of the pastries into the bathroom with him to take a quick shower.

Lupin pulled Xander down into a chair and fixed his tie.  "It's crooked."  He sat down in his own chair and poured himself some juice.  "Need anything else?"

"No, if I get hungry I can wait until the reception.  Dawn will make sure there's food there.  She's a traditionalist that way."  He sipped his coffee.  "How soon?"

"Twenty minutes," Lupin said, checking her watch.  "Or sooner if you must."

"Goemon, do you feel confident staying with the kids?"

"I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Jigen asked quietly.  "With *her* in the same hotel?"

"Then maybe I'll go with you," he admitted.

"Father, can you tie this tighter for me?" Lotus asked, breaking into his sulking.  She turned around so he could tie her obi tighter and so he could look her over.  "Do I look suitable?"

"You do," he agreed gently. "You look quite lovely in that, Lotus."  He fixed her obi for her and pushed a pin deeper into her hair.  "There, that's better."  He patted her on the back.  "No makeup?"

"I'm not doing kabuki, dad.  I'm doing a wedding."  She sat down again.  "Ishi, aren't you done yet?" she called.

"Yes," he said as he came out, smoothing out the sides of his gi.  "Father?"

"Quite handsome, son.  Nearly as good as your sister."  Ishi raised an eyebrow.  "No, not in a girly sense, son."

"I didn't doubt that, dad.  I look nothing at all like a woman."  He sat down, nodding at his sister.  "You look nice."

"Thank you.  You look respectable.  No sword?"

"It'll be in my hand."

"Good.  Father, should I carry one?"

"No.  A dagger would be more than appropriate if you wished," Goemon said patiently.  "You can hide one up your sleeve."

Lupin the Fourth pulled a dagger out of her back beltline and tossed it over.  "Here.  With sheath."

Lotus strapped it to her wrist and adjusted her sleeve to cover it.  "There, proper?"

"Very proper," Goemon said with a smile.  "Does that leave you unarmed, Arsene?"

"No, Uncle G.  I've got a bodice dagger, a small derringer in my stocking-top and we still have to find me a gun, Uncle Jigen and Daddy."

"We'll work on that later," Xander promised her.  "Stiletto shoes?"

"I've got those," Melissa told him.  She lifted a foot up to show him.  "See?"

Arsene stood up and walked around the table to show off her modest ankle boots that matched her stockings and did have stiletto heels, just not a stiletto blade that came out of them.  "Still deadly," she said with a grin.

"Very good, dear," Xander agreed, kissing her on the cheek.  "Now go brush your teeth and do your makeup."  She nodded, going to do that.  "And gel your hair now!"

"Yes, mom."

"She looks like some mafia mistress," Jigen said, shaking his head quickly.

"Yes, but she looks good," Xander reminded him.  "They won't outshine the brides, but then again I picked out their dresses."  He looked over at Lotus.  "Lip gloss?"  She got up to do that.  "Ishi, hair?"  He got up to fix it so it was tied back.  "Goemon, getting dressed?" he asked.  Goemon got up to do that.  "Lupin, are you dressed?"

"All but my shoes."

"Jigen?"

"All done, Xander. It'll be fine.  Hurry up so we can go."

Brad came out of his room and looked at Melissa, giving her a bright smile.  "You look delicious."  He picked up her hand to kiss the back of it.  "Are we going to the doctor's with you?"

"We probably should, so we aren't late," Xander told him.  "I know you'll be bored but sorry."

"No, it's not a problem.  We'll bring cards or something."  He grinned at his girlfriend.  "You cleaned up very well."

"I did, but I still can't pull jobs in it."

"Yeah, but a wedding is a special...."  He trailed off when he saw Lotus and Arsene walk out.  "Wow.  Speaking of cleaning up well.  Lotus, is that traditional?"

"It is," she said happily.

"Do I look good?" Arsene teased.

"Yeah.  Very nice.  You look very grown up and womanly."  He looked at Melissa again.  "You guys are really great at this stuff."  He squeezed Melissa's hand again.  "You look just as stunning."

"I know, I don't worry about competing with her.  She's a Lupin, so therefore a drama queen.  I'm a Jigen, so therefore more subtle but still very deadly."

"She backs up my flash with stubbornness," Arsene assured him.

"You're both stubborn.  Xander, let's go."

"I'm driving," Lupin said before anyone could get any ideas.  "Goemon?"  They trooped out together, heading down to the entrance to get the cars.  "Who's riding with us?"

"I will, daddy, I need some big, strong protectors," she said with a grin for her uncles.  "Otherwise someone might snatch me."

"Are you sure you're not the one getting married today for sleeping around?" a snide voice said from behind them.

Arsene looked back and sneered at her former aunt.  "I'm still very pure.  Wanna check?" she snapped.  "Besides, why would I need to dirty myself with someone so base as Morgan Zenigata?  I've got *much* better prospects lining up and begging."  She got into the back seat since the door was being held open.  "Can't we just shoot her and put her out of Uncle G's misery?"

"No," Jigen said patiently.  "He said we can't."  Xander mumbled something so he looked at him.  "Something to add?"

"No," he said innocently.  "Not at all."

"I want in," Jigen and Arsene told him.

He smirked at them.  "It's not a problem.  Don't worry about it."  He schooled his features as Lupin walked around the front of the car to get in.  "You okay?" he asked pleasantly.

"Fine, Xander.  I had to snap at her over her comments.  I think you look much better than she ever would have in that sort of outfit and much better than she ever did, daughter.  You do my line proud."

"Daddy," she said with a small blush.  "Don't embarrass me."

"I'm not.  You're a very beautiful young lady and you'll be a stunning woman who'll do more than live off your body and what it can net you."

"Eww, dad.  I'm not some pro to sell it."

"How do you think Fujiko used to get her pretty presents?" Xander asked.

"By sleeping with them, and she was stupid for only doing that.  If that's your life's ambition, then by all means, sleep with someone who can keep you in a style you mean to acquire and keep yourself ready for whatever they want."

"Which isn't what you want to do, right?" Jigen pressed.

"Hell no!  If I want jewels, I'll either steal them or buy them.  Unless my boytoy of the moment wants to give it to me," she admitted.

"It wouldn't be the first treasure given to a Lupin for sex," Lupin the Third agreed dryly.  Xander muttered something.  "What?"

"Nothing, muttering about my knees."

Lupin pulled up outside the hospital complex and found a parking spot, pulling in and stopping the car.  He got out, letting them get out, but he stopped Xander from moving away from the car.  "It wouldn't have helped, Xander.  I was a stupid bastard," he said quietly.  "You gave me what you should have and I should have given things to you.  None of what happened was your fault, that's why I want another chance, to do it right."  He let him go.  "Are your meds working or do you need help inside?"

"You're so full of it," Xander said, rolling his eyes as he walked off.  "Aren't you coming?"

"Nearly," he complained, following him.  They found the others waiting on them and shrugged when Jigen gave him a quizzical look.  "Third floor."  They walked up the elevators and headed up the stairs, Arsene leaning on her father's arm as they came off to sign in. He sat her down and sat beside her, watching as the boys were taken back to the receptionist who checked their insurance cards and did the forms, then they joined them.   "We almost done?" he asked, checking his watch.  "We've got an hour and a half."

"Mr. Jigen?" the nurse called.  He got up and followed her into the room.

Lupin looked at Xander.  "I had your doctor send a report to this one, I told him we were going to be over here for a few months.  I hope you didn't mind."

"No, that's a good idea," Xander agreed quietly.

"Mr. Harris?" a nurse called.

He got up with a wince and followed her back to the room, leaving father and daughter to chat.

Lupin looked at his daughter.  "That is a bit extreme."

"Just one more thing I can shove in my sister's face for being dumb," she told him simply.  "I'm the worse one in neediness and she broke first?"

"She was doing other stuff first," Lupin reminded her.

"Which was just as dumb.  Being the blow hole for half of the lacrosse team wasn't what she needed either.  That's why she kept getting more and more extreme.  The drugs, the suck parties in the gym. I doubt Morgan was her first."

"No, that was Savannah," he said bitterly.  "I'm surprised Jigen's blood pressure didn't spike too high that day.  I thought we were going to lose him when he exploded."

"He didn't do more than shout.  I would have kicked her ass," she reminded him.

"That thought had crossed my mind.  For both of them."

"Don't worry, daddy, we learned better because of them and their problems.  I don't need to know what drugs are like, I got to watch her."

"Good.  I still wish this hadn't been necessary."

"Us too.  It's not as fun to shove their noses in it when they can't retaliate."

"Just don't catch the bouquet," he pleaded.  "I'm not ready for that yet."

"Me either, daddy.  I'll have a great number of boytoys before I get ready to settle down with one person."  She leaned closer.  "We support you getting with mom again, dad, but if you hurt him again, Ishi and Melissa have mentioned gutting as the most pleasant thing that will happen."

He gave her a hug.  "I know.  I'd like to have him back but Alan makes him so happy."

"Yeah but I doubt he'll ever really understand mom.  He can't understand the torture he's been through.  He couldn't understand the life.  He can't understand what made mom like he is now."

"Yeah, but he makes him happy."

"You made him happy, you just forgot for long periods of time until you got too horny again.  You did the same thing to Daddy Jigen.  We hated it when you did that.  We couldn't do anything about it then but I'm more than willing to do so now."  She stared into his eyes.  "And by the way, help Uncle Jigen too, daddy.  He sucks and he's making him feel worse."

"I know, but that's his thing."

"And you're his best friend.  You can help him with this."

"He won't let me help him with that, empress. You know how stubborn he can be."

"I've never seen anything more stubborn than a Lupin in love.  That's a direct quote about Great-Grandfather."  She got up and went over to the water fountain to get a drink, getting a few whistles.  "I'm only fifteen," she said as she passed by the whistler.  She saw his interest and sneered.  "Trust me, you don't want to mess with my daddy," she said, waving at Lupin.  "He's not exactly the nicest of all people."

"Hey, isn't he that thief?" the man demanded.

She smirked at him. "That's right, so guess who that makes me?"  He shuddered and she walked on, sitting next to him again.  "Moron," she muttered.  He looked down at her and nodded.  "How much longer do we have?"

"An hour," he said after glancing at his watch.  He looked over as Xander walked out, storming past them.  "Xan?" he called.  Xander glared at him.  "What?"  He stood up to track him down, trapping him next to the bathroom.  "What happened?"

"He told me that I couldn't have that much pain because I'm not old enough."

"Mr. Harris?" a nurse called.

"What?" he asked blandly.   She walked over to where they were.  "More bullshit?"

"No, sir, the resident's director wants to see you, sir."  He raised an eyebrow.  "He knows your present doctor, sir, he trained him."

"Sure."  He followed her back into the office area, nodding at Jigen. "It's going to be a few more minutes."

"Sure, Xan."

"You two know each other?" the nurse asked.

"We work together," Xander told her.  "It's partially occupational injuries."

She leaned closer to him.  "I do know who you are," she said quietly.

"Good," he said with a grin.  "I was in pain before then."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sir.  Pain is a horrible thing. That's why I became a nurse, to help those in pain."  She let him into another exam room. "In here please, sir."

"Yes, dear."  He hopped up on the table, watching as she walked away.

Jigen joined Lupin out at the waiting area.  "He just got called back."

"I was with him.  The head guy wanted to talk to him, seems he trained his usual doctor," Lupin said bitterly, crossing her legs.  "Are we going to make it on time?"

"Of course."  He timed it, Xander came back out about ten minutes later and he looked much happier.  "Better news?"

"Better drugs," Xander told him.  "He agreed, I don't need to be on heavy narcotics.  He also said that there's some things that may be able to be done.  So I'm staying here for a few extra days after the wedding."

"Sure, Xan.  We can stay," Jigen agreed.  Xander gave him a sideways look.  "We're staying in case you need surgery.  You came when I was in the hospital."

"Speaking of, any new news?" Arsene asked.

"I'm fine.  My wrists are shot but they're not the worst they can be.  I've got some suggestions and some new pills of my own.  Shall we?"

"We shall," Lupin agreed, standing up and letting Xander take their daughter this time.  "Should we stop at the pharmacy on the way?"

"We'll never get there on time," Xander pointed out.  "Dawn will try something to keep us from being there."

They headed down to the car and got in, speeding off for the courthouse.  It was the only time a Lupin would ever *rush* to court.

***

Xander pushed open the courthouse door, nodding at the people up there.  "Are we late?" he asked calmly.

"No, we're next," Sierra told him, frowning at her sister.  She snorted and turned away.  "Isn't it nearly time, Auntie?"

"It is," she agreed, looking at Xander.  "You okay?  You look really tired."

"It's called joint pain.  I'm sure your husband can tell you what that is if you don't have any of you own."

"Unfortunately," Zenigata complained.  "Sit."

Lupin looked at Goemon, who nodded slightly.  Then he looked at his daughter, pulling her a bit away.  "You know you've got an inheritance coming because you decided to not join the life.  Do you want me to turn it over to Pops?"

"You can have Auntie Murami do it," she told him quietly, glancing around.  "How much is it?  Do I have to worry about school fees?  Or housing after school?  Or even Academy costs?"

"No," he said, pulling out a sealed envelope.  "Here.  This is your copy, I had her fax it over last night.  Savannah?"  She looked back at him so he waved her over.  "We set this up when you were still a baby," he said, handing her a copy of her inheritance paperwork. "Murami has it right now.  Do you want me to have her transfer it to Pops for you?"

"No, that's fine.  I like Aunt Murami," she told him.  She glanced inside, then gaped at him.  He grinned and shrugged.  "Thank you, daddy."  She hugged him then went to talk to her natural father, sitting between her parents.  "I'm sorry."

"It's not a problem.  He'll make sure you get where you want to go," Xander reminded her.  "Just treat him well and be good to him, daughter.  That's all that you'll need to know."

"I know," she agreed.  "Thank you for helping him set this up."  She hugged him then her own father.  "Hi, daddy."

"Hi."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "You're sure about this?"

"Those were the rules, father."

He tipped her face up.  "You're a Jigen," he reminded her.  "We break laws."

She smiled at him.  "We can't this time, daddy.  I like him. It'll work out."

"If it doesn't, you're coming back home.  Got me here?"  She nodded and snuggled into his side.  "Then I'll let you go, knowing that you're coming back sometime."

"Zenigata," the judge called.

"That's you," Xander said, standing up to walk her to the aisle.  He looked at Jigen.  "I think that's your job?"  Jigen smirked and got up to walk her up to her spot.  He and Lupin stood behind their girls.

The judge looked at the couples.  "You're very young."

"We agreed to this," Sierra told him.

"It's the right thing to do," Savannah agreed.

"Their parents agree as well," Lupin told him.

"No dissenting parents?"

"No. My daughter has no mother and Jigen's has one but she's already agreed and sent her brother to watch the wedding since she's incapacitated."

"Fine.  Are the boys' parents here?"

"Here," Dawn told her.  "I'm their legal guardian."

"Their mother?"

"In a snit," she admitted.  "Custody was taken because she wasn't fit."  She handed over the paperwork she carried.  "We're redebating it but the other judge knows and approved."

"Fine."  He glanced them over then handed them back.  "Let's get on with this then.  Which one first?"

"I will," Sierra told him.  She and Morgan stepped forward.

"Do you take this young man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," she said, clutching his hand as tightly as she could.

"Do you, young man, take this young lady to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," he said calmly.

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife."  He signed their license and handed it to them.  "Now for the other couple.  Do you, young lady, take this young man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Do you take this young woman as your lawfully wedded wife?" the judge asked.

"I do."  He grinned at Savannah.  "We'll be happy together.  We understand each other."

"Very well.  I wish both couples the best of luck and a long life together."  He signed the second form and handed it over.  "Register that on the way out to your reception, young men."  They nodded and walked out.  "Inspector."  He stopped and looked at him.  "Your doing?"

"The fathers of the brides.  Not my most happy moment."

The judge nodded.  "Are you going to be the custodial parent?"

"We are."

"Then I wish you the best of luck, Inspector."

"Both girls can support themselves," Lupin assured him. He looked at Zenigata.  "You ready?"

"If I must.  You've got your own room, stay over there."

"Fine."  He led his remaining daughter out of the courtroom, Jigen and Xander behind him.  "Go to the car."  He waited while the rest of the group passed by then grabbed Xander, kissing him gently.  "I was having flashbacks," he said with a small grin, letting him go so he could stride off.  "Coming?"

Xander groaned and shook his head as he walked off.  He smacked Lupin on the arm as he walked past him.  "Bastard," he hissed.

"Love you too, Lavelle."  Xander flipped him off.  "I'm driving!"

Jigen got out of his way.  "You usually drive."  He walked around after helping Arsene into the back seat, letting Xander in first.   Then he slid into his usual seat, buckling up.   "We ready?"

"Melissa's driving the others," Lupin told them.  "We'll follow them to make sure they don't make stops."

"Okay but my gift's in the trunk," Arsene told him.  "Think we'll have a dance floor?"

"Probably," Lupin agreed. "If so, you can probably borrow Brad or Ishi."

"Ray likes to dance," Xander told him.

"Which Ray?" Jigen asked.

"Kowalski."

"Really?  I never woulda figured him for it."  He slumped down some.  "Let's stop at the pharmacy on the way there, Lupin."

"Sure, Jigen."  He pulled through the first drug store's drive-thru, letting them fill the drugs.  It took a few moments but they were very efficient.   By the time they got to the reception, everyone was there but the couples.  So they took their seats to wait.  The rooms were presently opened so they could all see the grand entrance.  They found themselves seated with Vecchio. "Hey," Lupin said with a grin.  "Having a good day?"

"Hell no."

"Want my candy bag?" Xander asked, holding it up.  "She filled with stuff I don't like."

"No, thanks."  They stood up and clapped as the girls were walked in by their new husbands. Then they sat down and waited for the meal to start.

Xander looked around, finding Ethan and Marcus behind them.  He pulled something out of his pocket and tossed it at Ethan, making it expand.  He winked.  "Read the marked spot.  I want to figure out how to do that."

Ethan gave him an odd look. "How's your neck?"

"Healed, finally."

"You could move back there," Jigen offered.

Xander grinned.  "Okay."  He got up and headed back there to sit with them since no one else was.  "I don't have the math to figure out if we could do that, but think about all the chaos that could be sewn and all the money we could make doing that."

"I'm not holding my breath since this is a fantasy novel," Ethan noted calmly, reading the section Xander had copied for him.  He finally frowned at him.  "I don't think it's possible, Xander.  I don't know anything that can selectively remove a body part and then put it back, while storing it in a small hidden area between dimensions."

"Are we talking absolutely not possible or no one's figured it out yet?"

"Well, certainly no one's figured it out yet," Ethan offered.  "Of course some of the demonic may take issue since their bailiwick is granting wishes and the like for profit."

"No one says they've got a monopoly and I'd be behind it," Xander said with a grin.  "So, we need a math oriented witch?"

"You'd definitely need one to figure out if this was possible," Ethan agreed lightly.  "Of course, we have one here at the moment."  He looked at Willow, then back at Xander, smirking at him.  "You could ask her."

"I could, huh?" Xander agreed with a grin.  "Okay, let's go do that later.  Do you think if we could, that I might get some new knees?"

"Most definitely," he agreed.  "Or you could use a wish demon for that."

"No thanks.  I'd rather not mess in that world, thanks."

"Good point.  There's always a catch, even for you."  He looked at Willow again.  "I'll take that up with her later if you'd like."

"Please.  If anyone can take on the impossible and make it work it's her."

He looked at Xander again.  "The Watchers think she's of no further use to them.  Since she's no longer eighteen she's not as powerful."

"Willow was very powerful at eighteen, she just nearly caused the world to end when she was twenty."

"Good point.  I'd forgotten about that.  The world's nearly ended so many times it's not funny."

"Hey, I've got the daughter safely stored away.  No one coming from that."

"Good.  I'm damn glad that the child won't be the next problem."   Ethan waited for dinner to be over with and the obligatory cake cutting to be done with as well before sidling up to Willow while the others were milling around, smirking at her grimace.  "An idea was brought to me, Miss Rosenburg.  Since you're much better at the theoretical physics and maths than I am, I wanted to know if you knew any valid counters or prohibitions."

"And not a trace of smugness, I'm impressed," Buffy said bitterly from behind them.  "While you're still alive and breathing would you like to explain why I ache at my age?  Since I heard you were behind that potion and all."

"That was them messing with it," Ethan assured her.  "Xander is much the same way."  He walked Willow away.  "The idea brought to my sounds fantastic but as far as I can tell it is sound."

"The idea is?"  He handed over the pages, letting her read them.  "Which fantasy novel from Xander's collection did this come from?" she asked dryly.

"It's not from his but he has heard others wondering about it," he admitted.

"Plastic surgery by magic would be difficult.  At least to set up the transfers and to create the pool of spare parts.  Then you'd have to make sure you had what you needed."

"But it is possible?" he pressed.

"Possible but difficult."

"Yes, but the person Xander overheard was a wish demon."

"That would be a bit different.  They could base it off the souls down there, make copies basically."  She shrugged.  "I guess they could do that."

"Do you think it'd be a profitable investment?" Xander asked as he joined them.

"If you'd put it in Beverly Hills you and the demon would be able to retire within a year.  Especially if you brought the youth potion with you.  How does that work anyway?"

"Once."

"Oh."  Willow grimaced.  "No second tries?"

"You'll age double your original age," Ethan explained. "That's not what most people take it for."

"Eww."

"Definitely, especially when your body was going sour due to injuries," Xander quipped.

Lupin walked over and smoothly stole Xander, taking him onto the dance floor.   "A bold new plan?" he asked quietly.

"No, wondering if a concept was doable."

"Hmm.  Sounds interesting."

Xander sighed, knowing he'd be nagged until he gave in and told him.  "We were looking at an idea to do magical plastic surgery via replacements."   Lupin smirked.  "The best way would be with a wish demon."

"Would you be first?"

"If only so I could fix my knees."  Lupin dipped him, making him squeak.  "Lupin!"

"What?" he asked with a grin.  "We're going for ice cream after this.  Wanna come?"

"Sure, I'm up for ice cream."  He looked around.  "Gramps is soused," he said quietly.

"I cut Jigen off about thirty minutes ago," Lupin admitted.  "He won't be able to walk soon."  He spun his partner around then caught him again.  "We need more chances to have fun."

"The girls still want to hit Disney."

"I said fun, not torture."

"I like Disney."

"Why?" Lupin asked, looking clueless.

"Because it's full of happy people."

"If you say so.  We were thinking about going to a theme park over here.  Any preferences?"  A shrill cellphone ring made everyone quiet down and Xander rush back to his seat.

"Yeah?"  He sighed.  "Yes, this is he.  This had better not be a telemarketer."  He listened for a moment then nodded.  "Take them to Goemon's house.  We'll be there tonight.  Have someone respectable with them."  He hung up and looked at the inquisitive people then grinned at his buddy.  "Remember our trip?  They decided to reciprocate."  Goemon groaned.  "'Lis, book a trip to Japan, ASAP."

"Sure, mom.  How many?"

"All of us," Lupin told her.  He smiled at the leaving daughters.  "You guys behave and we'll call in a week."

"We left presents on the table," Arsene offered as she gathered their jackets.

"We've got two choices," Melissa announced.  "Six or nine PM?"

"Nine.  We need to pack," Lupin ordered as he grabbed Xander to walk him out.  "Love you guys, behave."

"We'll call tomorrow to see if you need anything," Jigen added as he followed them.

"Have fun with the ancestors," Savannah called, smiling at their backs.  She noticed everyone staring.  "Ask Auntie Dawn, not me."  She grabbed her husband and drug him onto the floor.  They were cute together.  It was enough for now.

Return Trip

Xander knocked briefly on the door before walking into Goemon's house, bowing to the warrior drawing his sword.  "The current one is behind me."

"Which are you?" the warrior demanded.

"Xander."  The man stepped back and bowed deeply.  "Thanks.  Sit and relax.  They've got to wake up the kids."  He looked around.  "Are the others resting?"

The warrior shook his head.  "I do not know.  The women snuck out.  The other guard went to track them."

"Fuck!"  Xander stomped outside.  "Ishi, the women went to explore. Bring your sword, they helped do the handle.  Take the girls with you."  They nodded and took the keys from Lupin so they could leave.

"Is that wise?" Goemon asked.

"You wanted to send Jigen?" Xander asked dryly.  "The others, if there's any left, are getting up.  It's Kenji's namesake."  He led the way back inside, bowing to the elder.  "Did you have a good trip?"

The elder snorted.  "No.  Stupid kitsune."  He looked at his relative.  "You look tired. Is this an extremely bad time?"

"Two of the group's daughters were married today."

"You left the celebration?"

"The cops kept glaring at us," Lupin said with a shrug.  "They're becoming cops too. They married into a clan of them."

"At least they were daughters and not sons," the elder said wisely.

"No, we sent the son after your women with my sword, which we gave to him," Xander said, sitting down in a comfy chair.  Goemon gave him a shove so he got up.  The elder sat down on a woven matt and Lupin took the chair but pulled Xander to sit on the arm of it.

"I see now who you belong to."

"Not anymore.  He ignored me and I went to an actor's home."

"Why do all women and men such as you go after actors?" the warrior asked in disgust.

"Their tongues say sweet things," Xander said smoothly.  Lupin pinched him.  "He does."

"Try to behave," Goemon complained.

"I am.  I'm hyper from the flight."

"That's why the stewardess cut you off after three cokes," Jigen complained.  "Lupin, let him go."

"Fine."  Xander slid to te floor, sitting beside the chair.  "How did you get here?"

"A young kitsune appeared in our compound," the elder said sadly.  "He was merely an infant and was crying.  One of our women sat down with him to calm him down.  His father appeared looking quite displeased.  The woman with him stood up to the father.  It was a terrible fight.  Eventually he said if she wanted to protect him so much she could join him.  All of us in the courtyard were engulfed in light and appeared here.  The others will undoubtedly worry."

"We'll work on getting you back," Xander promised.  He stood up.  "I'm going to talk to the kitsune."

"We tried when one came searching but he sneered."

Xander smirked.  "I'm a Prince of Hell.  They won't or I'll break in."  He disappeared.  His usual portal was closed so he snorted and readied himself.  "Cute," he drawled, "but totally ineffective."  A guard stepped out.  "Don't try."

"There are no visitations today."

"Uh-huh.  Bet me."  He grinned at him as he puled something out of his pocket, holding up the access crystal.  "Making *me* deal with a temporal anomaly means that there'll be little Princes of Hell *all* way back there.  As well as miniskirts, dirty dancing, and other unsuitable things.  After all, we sent Lupin the Fourth after them."  The guard moaned.  "Now then, *who's* dealing with this?"

"The kit who went back was ill," the guard told him.  "It does not transmit to humans.  We are presently quarantined."

"I know something about that stuff.  Can I help?"

"No.  If he comes into contact with a human it can be fatal."

"Fine, then I'll be expecting a visit later.  Or else."  He went away, but he knew the problem was now his.  He hated anomalies.  So his first call was to Ethan.  "Hey, it's me.  A kitsune back then did the spell and now they're quarantined.  Got a handy return spell?"  He listened to the silence.  "Ethan," he said patiently.  He heard Giles stutter.  "The last time I knew, we gave Ethan that phone.  Go give it back."  He hung up and called Marcus.  "The Ancestors came forward this time.  Kitsune did it.  They're quarantined."  Marcus spluttered.  "Yeah.  Very."  He listened while Marcus explained it to Ethan and Willow.  "Call me later when we have a plan.  I'm going back.  Giles has his phone."  He hung up so he could head to his favorite library - Hell's.  "Hola."

"Bueno," the librarian greeted happily.  "What are you looking for today?"

"Ways to fix imbeciles who send ancestors to me and expect me to fix it."  Her jaw fell, literally.  That was one neat thing about the dead sometimes.  "Eww."  He headed for the so-called 'dangerous' section.  "I'll be back here.  Make sure my phone works."

"Yes, sire."  She sent a quick note to her superior so those books would reappear.  If he was involved with this, someone was going to die and maybe she could get a raise.

"Yes, they will," Xander called.  "And I'm going to get creative about it."

"He only borrowed our books, sire," she called back.

He appeared at the end of a row.  "He was a kitsune?"  She nodded, looking very scared.  "Then I'm pissed at more than one person."  He went back to his table and the helpful library imps.

***

Bix appeared next to Xander a while later.  "The kitsune want to know why the portals are closed."

"Because they dropped a problem in my lap of their own making."

"We did what?" the Lord's first son demanded as he appeared.

"Go to Goemon's house in Japan," he said patiently.

"I've been at the training camp."

"Not there, the house in town," Xander retorted.  "I'm hoping someone found the women."  Bix gasped as he looked up at her.  "Yes, you have relatives visiting.  Go socialize.  I'm figuring out how to send them back since a kitsune brought them forward.  By participant accounts and by testimony from the librarian."  He looked at the young kitsune, noticing his tails were swishing.  "You can tell your father I said that."  The fox spirit disappeared.  "Go talk to them, Bix.  I'm researching."  She left, using the charm Ethan had made for her.  Xander let out a sigh and went back to his research.  "Are you nearly done?" he asked the imp copying for him.  It shook its head.  "Fine.  Be done by when I am.  You'd scare the ancestors."

"Yes, sire."   All the interesting things he could let out as rumors and gain stature, thereby getting himself a personal appointment in one of the higher Prince's chambers.  He could put up with some ordering around by this human for that. And perhaps someone would tell him who he'd been working for.

***

Ishi found the women staring at fountain in awe.  It was one of those that had directed and choreographed sprays and it was amazing even to him.  He coughed to draw their attention, giving them the same look his father gave him.  "Aunts."

"Prove it," one snapped, grabbing her dagger so she could pull it if he wasn't a relative.  He held up his sword and she slumped.  "Xander sent you?"

"I'm Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth.  Xander's presently working on sending you home.  Come, let's head back.  We can sightsee tomorrow."

"Such pretty, wealthy ladies should stay," a rough, male voice said.  "You can try to guard them if you want, boy."

Ishi sighed and tossed over his sheathe, attacking the moron silently.  He could hear the women gasp but shrugged it off for now.  At least until the idiot was dead and his sword was cleaned off.  He reclaimed his scabbard before looking at them.  "Let's go before his friends appear."  They hurried after him, getting into the van.  He made stops to pick up the others, then headed back to the house.  He followed behind them to make sure they went.  "Is that all of them?"

"There's a warrior missing," Goemon told him.

"We found him as he was being carted off in an ambulance. He's going to the university," Melissa told him, sitting next to her father.  "He was banged up but not *too* bad."

"We'll get him later," Lupin promised.  "Xander?"

"Yes?" the kids answered, then grinned at the joke.

"Not a yes/no question," Lupin said sarcastically, frowning at them.  "Xander?" he asked Bix as she appeared.

"In a library," she said quietly.  "Researching, Lupin."

"Fine.  He'll be home soon."  He looked at the whispering girls.  "Did you have fun?"

"I killed the attempted mugger," Ishi told him.

"He fights like the Second did," one young girl put in.

"Hush!" the elder ordered.  "He will not be forced to breed!"

"No, I like girls," Ishi said with a smirk.  "They're fascinating creatures to watch."

"He does fight in a less rigid style," Goemon offered quietly.  "It suited his nature and Xander helped teach him.  My second son fights in the family style."  He looked at Bix.  "The infants?"

"They're with Murami.  I'll rescue her in a few minutes.  Should I bring them here?"

"Xander's house would be more roomy," Jigen suggested.

"Xander!" Lupin yelled. An imp appeared.  "We're stealing Xander's house."  The imp shook his head.  "No?  Why?"  It stepped closer to whisper in his ear.  "Fine, come back with a better suggestion."  It disappeared.  "A library, Bix?"  He stared her down.

"He was!"

"With imps?" Arsene asked dryly.

"Where else would have temporal spells?" Xander asked as he appeared.  "After all, that's where the original one got it."  He sat down with his book.  "I'm expecting a delivery."

"Sure, Xan," Jigen agreed.  "Any hope?"

"Limited.  I'll need more than me doing the spell."  He looked at his daughters.  "You can't help."

"We have no intention of it," Melissa assured him.

"I will if I can, Uncle Xander," Lotus said calmly from her corner.

"Nope.  No demonic magic for you."  He looked up.  "Training camp?" he suggested to Goemon and Lupin.

"I could use work on the balance beams," Melissa offered.

"It'd take forever to get up there," Jigen complained.

"They youngest relative promised we could see more wonders like that fountain that aimed water at you."  The elder snorted.  "It did!"

"It does," Goemon agreed quietly.  "It's a new design."  He stood up.  "It would be better if we got away from such worldly matters."

"Aww, I don't know.  I can imagine a few of them bringing back the latest club dances," Xander said sarcastically, smirking at him.

"If so, history would change and I might end up like Lupin," Goemon said, staring him down.  "That would be horrible and a fate worse than death."

"At the very least I thought we might take them to look at the palace and the shrines," Ishi offered.  "Maybe the Old Market?"

"They still sell stereos and computers there, son.  That would create an anomaly on its own."

"I'd do the spell to keep them from talking about it with those who weren't here," Xander told him.  "We've got to pass by some of the older ones on the way out of town anyway.  Otherwise we're going to have to take over the Dragon Clan's camp and they're not that happy with us at the moment."

"The Dragon Clan?" Lupin asked, looking shocked.  "How do you know about them?"

"I know the Silver Dragon.  She's a fierce warrior and understands about odd things.  I figure we can talk her out of the older training camp for a few weeks since they're not using it.  It's on one of the smaller islands.  There's a fishing village nearby but that's about it."

"What would she want in return?" Jigen snorted.

Xander smirked.  "I haven't asked her yet.  Want me to?"

"No," Lupin decided.  "The training camp for the family would be more familiar."

"Is there not a compound at this time?" the elder asked.

"It burned many years back," Goemon told him.  "Back during the Ninth's reign.   He helped the clan build a new training house but it is not the same as the compound."

"I wish it was," Xander said dryly.  He shrugged at the odd looks he was receiving.  "Is it on the same spot?"  Goemon shook his head.  "Really?"

"Really.  It's a few miles up the road.  The older homestead was claimed by an Emperor because it bordered his lands and he wanted ours."  He looked at the clan elder.  "It is your decision. The longer you stay here the more you will see of things that are not available in your time."

"I would rather that the women be protected from such sights," the elder said grimly.  "There's no telling what they'd take into their heads."

Arsene looked up from the old fashion magazine she had found under the couch, letting him see the pictures.  "All women dress like this these days."  It was a jeans commercial.  He scowled and she shrugged.  "They're casual clothes."

"That is indecent!" the warrior complained.  "You can see their body parts."

"Which is rather the point," Ishi told him dryly, shrugging at his dirty look.  "Otherwise most of them wouldn't wear them very tight."  Someone pounded on the door so he looked around.  "Fine, I'll get it."  He got up and walked around the reappearing imp, answering it.  "Yes?" he asked the officer on the other side.

"Are you Goemon Ishikawa?"

"One of them.  Is this about one of our relatives who ended up in the hospital?"  He nodded, grimacing in distaste.  "We're going to retrieve him once he's healed."

"He's been released."  He nodded behind him.  "Get him out and take better care of him."

"Thank you, Officer," Arsene purred as she came up behind her buddy, smiling sweetly at him.  "He wasn't a problem, was he?"  He blanched and shook his head, backing away.  "Then we'll *gladly* take him and make sure he's fine."  She smiled at the man in the back seat, watching as the cop let him out.  "Inside, now.  The women have been returned," she ordered.

"Who're you!" he said, hand on his scabbard.

"Inside, now," Goemon yelled from inside.  The warrior scurried inside, bowing to his elder and babbling at him rapidly.  "That was a normal temple of healing.  They're all like that these days," Goemon assured him. "Sit, we're figuring out where to bring you so you're safer."

"Thanks, officer.  Needed more help?" Ishi asked.  He shook his head and got back into his car, slamming the door and roaring off into the night.  "Cool.  I scared a cop too."  He grinned at Arsene.  "I haven't done that in weeks."

"Yeah, me either," she admitted.  She closed the door once he was back inside, then opened it at the sniffling.  "Hey, Kori.  Xander's inside."  He toddled in and climbed into his buddy's lap, hugging him.

"Hmm, warm muzzle and shivers," Xander said, stroking his back.  "Yo!  The baby's sick!" he yelled, looking up.

"No shit!" the Lord of the Kitsune said as he appeared.  "He's caught a human disease."

"Which one?  We can tell you how to treat most of them," Lupin assured him.  "We've had them all among us."

Xander looked behind the furry ears.  "Either it's chicken pox or measles.  He's got spots."

"Measles you've got to make sure that he's in a darkened room if he's got any near his eyes, it can blind him," Jigen told the older fox.  "I've seen kids who ended up blind from it. That and the fever."

"If it's chicken pox, keep him from scratching, bathe him daily, wash all his sheets, and keep him away from the others.  Because it was contagious a few days ago," Xander told him.  "That's what Arsene had that one time."

The Lord of the Kitsune stared down at him.  "I remember such an incident," he said bitterly.  He glanced at the ancestors.  Then back at his friend.  "Why is this our job to fix?"

Xander held up the papers he had been delivered by the imp.  "The library's patronage list and list of checked out books.  It was your court magician who sent the baby back then.  It was his father who sent them all forward.  Granted, it's not just your magician's fault, but then again you refused to help earlier too.  Hence the portals being closed."

"Fine.  I can understand why you're upset with us," he said patiently.  "It was not our fault.  It was the action of one selfish individual."

"And when the humans do something against your kind, you blame us all," Ishi reminded him.

"Someone really should make a song about turnabout being fair play," Arsene agreed bitterly.  "Not that I don't like Uncle G's ancestors, but I doubt they're going to like me very much."

"If you did not talk as you did, they would consider you charming," Xander said, glaring at her.  "Butt out."  He looked at his friend again.  "I'm more than willing to help cast the spells to get them back there but it's not exactly my form of magic."

"I see.  So you're endangering diplomatic relations and our long-standing friendship over this incident, which one of us did?"

"You nearly killed me when a human captured one of your foxes and I still helped you."

"QUIT FIGHTING!" Kori yelled.  Then he whimpered and put his head back down.  "Ow."

"It's all right, Kori.  We like you.  You rest.  You need rest to get better."  He patted him on the back.

"Itchies there."

"That's okay.  You can't scratch or you'll end up with scars, which will keep fur from growing in those spots."

"Meanie!"

"Hey," Xander soothed, calming him back down.  He pushed up his shirt to show off his chicken pox scars.  "You'll get scars like this if you scratch.  Fur can't grow on scars."  The baby sniffled so he kissed him gently on the forehead.  "You need to rest and to take something to lower your fever, little guy.  Before it hurts you."  He handed him off to his Lord and Uncle.  "We find that calamine lotion works well for that sort of thing but I'm not sure if you can do that with fur."

"I'll tell the healers that and make sure that the magician is punished."

"Have him send us back," the elder suggested.

"I can't.  He's unconscious.  The spells to bring you forward nearly killed him."

"That would be a suitable punishment once he wakes," one of the women noted bitterly.  "No one will tend my children or my garden."

"Most likely you'll go back shortly after you left," Goemon told her.  "Someone would tend your children."

"They don't like her children," one of the other women told him.  "They consider them bad because their mother had twins and they don't look like the family.  They look more like Gaijin."

"They are not!" the mother shouted, standing up.  "Their father was not of the clan and he was not honorable but he was Japanese!"

"Calm yourself, daughter," the elder ordered quietly.  "I recognize them as being fully ours.  That is all that matters."  He glared at the other women.  "I told you not to say such things last month."

"But they don't!" the second woman complained.  One of the older women slapped her.  "What was that for?"

"For being intentionally cruel to the mother," Xander told her, glaring at her.  "If the father was not honorable and he forced her, then the onus is not against her or those children.  It is against the father, who should have been killed."

"He was a soldier.  We took him to the commanders," one of the guards noted quietly. "He was punished and made a eunuch.  This wasn't the first set of children he had forced onto someone else.  He had to make suitable compensation for them as well."

"Identical twin boys," the elder told his relation.  Goemon leaned down to whisper in his ear, making him sigh.  "No, they're not there yet.  Thank you for the warning however."  He looked at his daughter.  "Their health concerns were noted through the ages."  She started to cry so Ishi got up to lead her to a bedroom and soothe her, coming out a few minutes later.  "Is she asleep?"  He nodded, sitting down again.  "Thank you.  It has been hard on her."

"Such things can easily kill a parent's spirit, if not their body," Xander told him.  "I have a daughter who has a weak heart.  We've been through hell trying to keep her from hurting herself but trying to let her grow up normally."

"They cannot fix that in this time?"

"It's not bad enough to fix. Just bad enough to affect her," Jigen sighed.  "Um, Bix?"  She disappeared then came back with the kids.  "Hey, Sarah," he said with a smile as she crawled into his lap and snuggled into his chest.  "You nap, sweetheart."

Fred leered at the pretty women sitting around the small living room.  "Hi."

"Sit," Melissa ordered.  He curled up against his father's feet.  "Thank you."  She smiled at Alex as she came over to crawl up into her lap.  "Hey, Al.  Curl up and nap if you want."  She nodded and settled in to nap on her.

Goemon patted the top of his two son's head.  "These are the other two, Kenji and Yu."

"They look very strong, son," the elder said, nodding at them.  Yu pulled up his thumb to suck on.  "You still do that?"

"He's barely over a year," Xander told him.   "I've got an open lap."  Yu and Kenji both scrambled to climb into his lap to cuddle and nap.  "Thanks, guys."

"I'd have offered Alex but she's not getting on with Fred," Melissa offered.

"No, it's okay.  I can handle these two while they nap."  Yu saw Ishi and smiled, toddling over to climb up him and give him a sloppy kiss.  "That's a nice thing, Yu."

"It is. Thank you, little brother," Ishi said, smiling at him.  He settled his baby brother into his lap, letting him curl up on him.  "Hi, Kenji," he said to stop the pouting going on.  "You can come over if you want.  Or Lotus is in the corner napping again."  Kenji got up and ran over there, climbing into her lap to sleep on her.  He loved his big sister.

"Me cuddle pretty ones?" Fred asked his father.  His mother frowned at him.  "Sorry."  He settled in against his father's legs to hug him.  His daddy pulled him up to hold him, making him grin. "Thanks, daddy. You not as pretty as a girl but you nice."

"Thanks, son."  He patted him gently while his son settled in to nap on him.  "Goemon, training camp?"

"I'll call up there to make sure it is clean and empty," he promised, going to do that in the kitchen.  While he was in there he put on tea and pulled out a pitcher to put cold water into.  He didn't quite have enough glasses but with the tea cups he'd be fine.

"That is woman's work," one guard complained, glaring over at Lotus.

"I can kill people," she noted bitterly.  "In this time, the only true women's work is motherhood and I'm not doing that."

"Thankfully.  We'd miss you if you were married," Arsene quipped, grinning at her.  She grinned at her mother.  "What's on at the other house?"

"My editor who's on maternity leave had her house burned down so I'm letting her and her kids live in the house until she delivers or until she settles with the insurance company and finds another one."  He shifted, going back to his book.  "Tell me when we're leaving."

"You could probably nap, Xan," Jigen offered.

"We're going to need at least one more vehicle tomorrow.  That leaves you guys without guards tonight to counter the modern crooks if they try something."

"I hate driving that van," Ishi put in quickly.   "I'll be a tourguide."

"I figured I'd drive and Jigen could drive," Lupin told him.

"Fat chance, daughter," Lupin the Third noted.

"Fine, you'll drive one and he'll drive one and we'll get any overflow."

"Which means that you guys have to nap," Xander reminded them.  "Which leaves no guards tonight who understand guns."

"Good point.  Goemon, Jigen and I are going to steal your bed," Lupin called, taking Fred with him as he headed back that way.

"Fine," Goemon agreed, carrying out the tea pot and pitcher of water.  "Arsene, get the glasses."  She nodded, hopping up to do that.  "Thank you."

She grinned and poured herself some water then sank down into her father's chair.  She looked over her mother's shoulder, frowning at the book.  "What language is that in?"

"Imurral.  It's a common demon language," Xander said absently.  "It's read bottom to top, left to right."  He turned the page, going backward.  He slowly looked up as something started to bother him, growling as he got up to stomp to the front door, startling the person picking the lock.  "Did you *need* something?" he demanded.  The young man squeaked and backed away, letting him glare at the people behind him.  "And you are?"

"Missionaries," one said sarcastically.

Xander pulled his gun and shot that one.  "Any other good answers?"  They backed away another step.  "Let me put this very clearly, boys and girls."  He pulled down his silver hair, watching as some of them shuddered.  "Some of you should recognize me.  Perhaps you should instruct the others who I am."

"You're Lavelle," one of them said.  "We came for you."

"Then you've got me, bitch."  He shot that one too, then emptied his clip into the others, leaving three.  He picked up a fallen dagger.  "You wanna try now?"  They shook their heads and ran off.  "Good!  Keep going!  It's more healthy for you!"  He slammed the door and went back to his reading, rubbing his sore wrist.  "I hate getting old."  He sat down again, picking back up his book.  "They're very sorry they thought about hitting your house, Goemon.   Three are running back to whine that I'm mean."

"No sword?" one of the women asked softly.

He looked at her and shook his head.  "My knees ache.  I don't have my new painkillers."  She shivered.  "Exactly."  He went back to his reading.

"That's his first weapon," Goemon told her.

"A stake was, unless we're counting thrown rocks," Xander said as he turned the page again.

"First official weapon.  Stakes aren't a weapon that's counted in our lives, Xander."

Xander looked up at him.  "No, but they're very handy when you're staking vampires and demons."

"Yes, they are," Goemon agreed.  "You came to us partially trained due to the fighting you had done.  No one doubts that, but a stake isn't an assassin's weapon."

"Actually, there is one who does use one," Melissa told him.  "Someone asked on the thieve's bulletin board if it was Mom."

"No, it's one of the third sons of a Don out of Sicily," Xander told her.

"I told him it wasn't you," she promised.  "Can I help with the research?"

"Since when have you read demon, daughter?" he asked with a smirk.

"Since I was about ten and asked Uncle Marcus to teach me so I could read the books you had in your room because I was bored?" she offered hesitantly.  He glared at her so she shrugged. "I was bored, it was either the demon romance or a Harlequin."

"Demons write romance novels?" Arsene asked tiredly.

"Yeah, they do.  It shocked the hell out of me when I realized what it was," Melissa said with a small smirk for her.

"It was a gift because I was bored too," Xander admitted, going back to his reading.  "I'll teach you the three official languages if you want.  After you graduate of course."

"Sure, Mom."

"No. Way. In. Hell," Jigen called from the bedroom.  "Unless you're going to end up married to one, there's not a chance, Melissa."  He slammed the bedroom door again, muttering all the way back to the bed.

Xander snorted and looked up at her.  "He has no idea what you do in your free time, does he?" he asked dryly.  She smirked and shook her head, pulling out a book to start through it.  "Good girl.  Everyone should probably nap, even though you'll spend a lot of time napping in the vans tomorrow.  Otherwise it'll be a pretty long day."  Everyone found a place to sleep for the night, the women taking the other bedroom and most of the guards taking the hall between the two doors so no one could sneak in and besmirch them.    Melissa wisely kept Fred and Yu from the women's room when the rest of the kids went in there to sleep with them, just in case.  That's also how they caught Fred trying to sneak in there and sent him to sleep with his father since he wasn't going to behave.

Xander continued to read through the night, knowing he could rest on the ride up tomorrow.  He didn't know where the school was so he couldn't drive. But he could plan on what to do to their favorite cops when he retired.  He'd have to make it special.

***

Lupin walked out of the bedroom the next morning rubbing his chest.  "Fred's really got a bad sucking problem," he complained to Goemon as he walked past him.

"He's probably also got a mouth full of hair since Jigen doesn't shave his chest," Xander said dryly from his spot on the floor.  He finished the book he was working in and put it aside, watching as it went back to the library.  "Are we setting up breakfast?"

"Yes, we should," Goemon agreed. He looked around his modest kitchen.  "Eggs?"

"I'll run to the store," Jigen offered as he made it past the guards with the boys.  He put them down and patted them on the head.  "Next time, don't try to suck on us, guys.  We're still boys too."  He looked at Goemon, who was frowning at his son.  "He was actually asleep when he did it.  That was better than Fred."

"At least Fred only hit my tits," Lupin said sadly, looking down at his son.  "Get me some smokes while you're out?"

"Of course.  That's the other reason I had to run out.  Goemon, will we need pipe tobacco or anything?"  He nodded.  "Fine.  Any particular flavor?"

"It's in the orange canister at the usual place we get smokes," Xander said, struggling to get up.  Lupin helped him up, bracing him while he wobbled. "Thanks.  Ask the guy behind the counter for the usual orange box.  He'll get it.  It should smell like maple and pine."

"Sure, Xander."  He took Lupin's wallet and went out to get real food so that none of them would have to try to cook for all of them.

"I wanna come," Arsene said tiredly.

"No, you go back to sleep," Xander ordered.  "If you're driving, then you'd better not fall asleep behind the wheel."  She nodded and put her head back down again.  He looked at his former lover.  "Who's taking them to get their real licenses?"

"Jigen," he said immediately. "I'm not going to the DMV ever again."  He looked at Goemon.  "You need anything right now?"

"I can wait until we're up there to do the daily exercises with the children," he admitted.  "Xander, would you like first shower?"

"No, I'm good for a while.  I can always pop home to get one if I have to."  He yawned and stretched, wincing a bit as his back popped.  "Ow."  He shook himself.  "As a matter of fact, let me do that since my bag's pretty empty.  I only brought two outfits."  They nodded, watching as he disappeared.

Lupin looked at Goemon.  "You've got to help me with him, man.  Please," he begged quietly.

"You may have already lost him.  Xander is loyal to a fault but even he has tolerance limits and you have overstepped them many times. It shows in how he went back to the choker to try to snare your attention again."

"Goemon, I'll do *anything* to get Xander back.  Not even my thing with your ex was this bad. *Please?*"

"I'll try to talk to him," he offered.  "Perhaps you ignored him because you knew he wouldn't leave you?"

"I don't know why I did it but I'm fricken miserable, Goemon.  I hate this stuff."

"I understand.  I loathe the way my wife went as well."  He patted him on the arm, then looked down at the attentive boys.  "When you are old enough, remember to never ignore your spouse.  It makes them go odd and then leave."  Yu nodded and toddled over to hug his leg.  "Thank you, son.  Come, let us clean you up.  Fred can take a bath with you today."  Fred leered at him.  "Or possibly not."

"Son, no leering at the baby Goemon," Lupin said patiently.  "Yu isn't old enough for that yet and being naked isn't that much fun at your age."  They led the kids into the bathroom to bathe them.  On the way they gathered Alex, who was trying to climb over someone and managed to nearly wake him by stepping on his nose.  When they were done with them they snuck in to get the other two and did their baths, letting those three go wake up the older kids to cuddle them.

That's why Melissa woke up and swatted at Fred.  "Get that disgusting thing out of my face, Frederick, or else I'm cutting it the hell off."

He squealed and covered himself, running back to hide behind his father.  "Sissy mean!  She make me have girl parts!" he cried, hugging his father as hard as he could.

"Melissa, please get some caffeine before you harm someone," Lupin called patiently.  "And do not threaten to castrate Fred again."

"He was standing above me playing with himself," she said in disgust.  "He deserves it."

Jigen came back to find his daughter drugged and happy, singing even, and Arsene giving her a scared look.  "What did she do?"

"Fred was standing above her playing with himself when she woke up.  She threatened to castrate him.  So Daddy gave her some of my drugs," she said in awe.  "She's gone odd, Uncle Jigen!  Make her stop singing!"  She hugged him, starting to cry.  It was horrible. It was worse than Barney and the Wiggles combined!

Jigen patted her on the back, glaring at Lupin.  "Did you have to do that to my daughter?"

"It kept Fred whole," he said grimly.  "I think it's a bit strong.  Next time we'll go with half a pill for each of them."

"Good idea," he agreed.  He looked over as Xander came back with two bags.  "Going somewhere?"

"Clothes and work," he offered.  He looked at his daughter, then tapped her on the top of the head.  "Change the station, that's getting stale."

She grinned and went onto a different song, this time it was the Toys R Us theme song.  In Greek.

"Daddy, she's scarier than I am," Arsene pointed out, staring at her father.  "Please don't do that again.  This is what I imagined a bad acid trip to be like."

Ishi sat up and glared at Melissa, then knocked her out with a careful hit to the back of her neck.  "There, I can sleep now," he said dryly, laying back down and closing his eyes again.  He growled when she continued to sing her sleep, but Lotus got her this time and she was snoring within moments.

"Okay, now I don't know which is scarier," Lupin the Third noted, looking at Lotus.  "Where did you learn that?"

"My instructor.  Since Father never taught me, I found someone who would.  I'm actually quite good."  She stood up and headed into the bathroom, growling at the person in her way.  "I'm having a Kotex moment and you're between me and the Midol.  Move."  The warrior gave her an odd look so she pulled his own sword on him and backed him out of her way, going to take her turn when the door opened and let the Elder out.  "Thank you."  She slammed the door and locked it.

"Is she on her moon cycle?" the Elder asked.  Goemon nodded, rolling his eyes.  "Hmm.  She held that sword very well."

"I was not sure about what to teach her so she learned at the Assassin's Academy from a teacher I respect," he admitted.  "It suits her better."  He pointed at the table.  "We ran out for food.  Serve yourself, there are disposable plates next to the food."  They nodded, going to get something to eat.

When Lotus came out she was in a terry wrap and had her hair up.  "Father, I forgot my bag," she called from the doorway.

Arsene tossed it to her.  "Have fun.  Remember we'll be in the car all day."

"That's fine, I stopped last night apparently."  She closed the door so she could get dressed.

"Lotus, give someone else a chance, get dressed in the bedroom," Lupin the Third called.  She came out and went in there to hide and dress. "Thank you."

"She is a very strong girl, Goemon," the Elder offered quietly.

"She is, and quite good from what I've heard."  He saw his son's lump of blanket moving and coughed.  "Son, it is time to awaken."

"Father, I hate mornings.  That's why I'm an assassin," he complained, rolling over to face the other direction.  His brothers decided to be helpful though, so they pounced him, making him reach back to pat them on the head and push them off.  "Not yet."

"But I wanna play," Kenji complained.

Yu got his devious look and crawled underneath with his big brother and decided he was hungry and his big brother was a good source of food.

Ishi yelped and jumped up, rubbing his chest while he glared down at his baby brother.  "I'm not a cow.  Nor am I a girl who has leaking breasts.  Go suck on Arsene if you must but do not do that to me again."  His brother pouted at him.  "Father, your son is a cannibal."

"He's missing his bottles, son," Goemon said patiently, grabbing Yu to sit down with him.  "Do not try to nurse off your brother again, Yu, that is not polite."  His son pouted but he was firm in that.  "Your brother does not have the equipment to feed you.  Doing so only upsets him, son."

"Why am I good enough to become a cow?" Arsene demanded, glaring at him with her hands on her hips.

"Because you kept me up last night playing with yours," he said bitterly.  "Next time, be more quiet."

"I did not!" she shrieked, picking up a pillow to hit him.  "I didn't do anything like that!  Mom, tell him I didn't!"

"Guys, I was studying last night.  I remember hearing some groans but I'm not sure from who. It could have been Lotus' cramps for all I know."  He sat down with his pastry and some coffee, reading the paper.  "Hey, my stock is up," he said happily, going back to his own life for a bit.

"You own a company that sells stock?" Jigen asked him, giving him an odd look when Xander held up two fingers.  "Two of them?"

"The comic company and the restaurant."

"How is a restaurant traded?" Lupin asked.

"The company that fronts it," he said, turning the page.  "Hmm.  Kabuki festival next week.  Wanna go, Goemon?"

"Please," he agreed.  "What are they showing this year?"  Xander handed over the section with the list of shows.  "Ah, they've changed it again.  My ancestor's is not being shown.  Pity."

"No, but the ones they translated over are," Xander assured him with a grin.  "I'll even treat to dinner."

"Of course I'll go," Goemon agreed lightly.  "It will be an experience for the children."

"I was thinking only us, big guy.  Kenji would nap through kabuki at his age and Yu would fuss the whole way through.  He can't even stand movies yet."

"Good point."  He looked at the others.

"If we're here, I'll sit 'em," Jigen offered.  Anything to not have to go watch kabuki theater.  "I'm sure they'll behave."

"I would hope so," Goemon agreed.

"Why are you two not together?" the awake guard asked him.  "You two seem to like the same things."

"Because my wife is still presently alive, if banished from the house.  It would not be proper."

"You could say he was a concubine.  He would do that very well," the guard pushed.

"If I did so, she could try to file for custody of the children to spite me."

"And do what with us?" Ishi snorted.  "Pat us on the head and sell us?  You know the Mother is not fond of children."

"If she ever got custody of you by some crooked deal, we'd hide you," Jigen promised him.

"We'd simply kill her and move home anyway," Lotus reminded him.  "I would not allow her near the infants."  She stared down her father when he gave her a sideways look.  "Father, I need to practice once we get there.  Is the rope course still up?"

"It should be," he admitted. "May I watch?"

"Of course.  I'm expecting you to have some bit of wisdom to help me with my changing body.  My tits are throwing off my balance again."  She grabbed her own breakfast and went to sit in the corner again.

"I will stop that habit of yours," Ishi vowed, glaring at her.  "Do not disrespect your body that way, Lotus."

"Blow me, Ishi.  It's my body."  She nibbled on her pastry.  "Food's getting cold," she yelled.  More people came out to get something to eat.  "We should probably leave soon to avoid the lunch rush."

"We should," Lupin agreed.  "And I agree with Ishi, quit calling them that, Lotus.  Only girls like strippers do that."

"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" Arsene asked dryly, staring down her father.  "For that matter, daddy, my own tits are getting in my way so I need help with my aim again.  Plus, we *still* need to find me a weapon I can use."

"I'll take you to do that today," Xander offered, folding up his paper.  "I know just the place."  She beamed at him.  "Grab food to go, we'll go now so we can meet them on the outskirts of town."  She nodded, grabbing a spare pastry to eat on the way out to the car.

"Need cash?" Lupin asked.

"Nah, I've got it," he offered, heading out to drive her to his favorite local gun shop.  Once there, he walked her inside, an arm around her shoulders.  The man behind the counter smiled brightly at them.  "Lupin the Fourth is ready to pick out her signature weapon," he said happily.

"Come into the back to look at the special cases," he offered, leading them back to where the cops were waiting.  "I'm sorry, they made me."

Xander shrugged and shot two of the three, grinning at the third one.  "Good, you can help us pick out her weapon of choice," he told Vecchio.  "She needs something lighter than what I use."  He noticed the look he was getting and smirked.  "You straightened out the ho.  This is in thanks."  He patted her on the back.  "Go ahead and look, Lupin."

She nodded, strolling over to look in the cases.  She kept coming back to a set and looked at the owner of the shop.  "Can I try these three?" she asked, tapping over their resting spot.  "I think one of them is drawing me."

"Of course.  They're very fine weapons," he said happily, pulling them out.  "I particularly like the Smith and Wesson model."

Vecchio walked over there and drug her off to the side, pointing at a case she hadn't looked at yet.  "That one," he said, pointing at it.  "It's easy, it's expendable, it's stock, and it's interchangeable, but it's lightweight and isn't prone to locking up.  Lots of female cops use it."

"Is there a specialty version?" she asked, squatting down to look at it.  "Uncle Ray, no offense, but can you take a step backward?"  He stepped back after noticing how close she was to his crotch.  "Thanks."  She looked at it.  "Is there a speciality version?"

"There is but it's mostly crap," the owner assured her.  "Very boring."

"I'm not a great shooter," she admitted, "but I'm pretty decent.  Sixth highest at the Assassin's Academy."  He looked impressed.  "What about that one?" she asked, noticing one was sitting on a security pad.  "Is that one real?"

"It is.  It's a limited edition Beretta."

"Can I try it?  Daddy was *insistent* that I get something that would be my signature weapon."

"Of course, young lady."  He pulled it out and handed it over, watching as she handled it.  "It isn't that light."

"Yeah, and I'm sensing many sore wrists in my future," she sighed.  "M...Lavelle?"

He waved her over, pointing down inside one special case, the one he usually picked from.  "There's a gun that usually sits right here that I was thinking about having you try."

"It's in a briefcase out front, Lavelle," the owner said quietly, going to get it for them.  "Here, another wanted to try it for his son as well.  I will tell him that you forced me to sell it to you if she likes it."

"I'll tell him myself," he snorted.  "Try it, Ar."

She picked the locks on the briefcase and opened it, smiling at the pretty black gun inside.  She pulled it up to look it over, liking the weight.  She looked at the clip, then in the chamber.  "Is it prone to locking?"

"No, it's a specially hand-made gun.  It's very good about not locking.  Nearly as good as a revolver."

"I'd rather have an auto," she admitted, pointing it at the wall.  "The sight's off."

"Actually, it's correct with the targets," the owner offered.  "It does have a small leaning to shoot to the right."

"Or there's about fifty of those in the world today," Xander told her.  "We actually gave one to Cali in Miami during the yard sale a few years back."

She looked at the shopkeeper.  "Do you have a range?"  He nodded, leading her back there.  She loaded the gun and fired it, then used the sight on it, grimacing.  "Okay," she decided.  "I like this gun, but I hate this particular one and how it's off to the right."

"Then we'll go to the woman making them and see if she'll make you one, or we'll steal the one in the safe," Xander said with a smirk for her.

"We have another of those?"

"Those are assassin's guns, Lupin," Vecchio said quietly.  "Most likely the three of them have them.  They're only ever gifted."

"Which means you can have mine or Jigen's if he agrees.  What is Melissa using?"

"She's got an auto and a revolver she likes.  She likes your usual gun and she loves her dad's revolver. She carries around a version of each."  She handed it back.  "Thank you."

"You are quite welcome.  I wish you a long and happy career, Lupin the Fourth."

She smiled up at Xander.  "We should probably call them on the way back, before we go up to the training camp."

"We should," Xander agreed, walking out with her.  "Thanks, Vecchio.  Tell the other two that they'll live."  He nodded at the person walking in, smirking at him.  "That forty-eight is in the back."

"Thank you.  Getting one of the girls her first gun?"

"This is Lupin the Fourth.  She's looking for her signature piece."

"She didn't take that one?"

"It fires off to the right," she told him, looking serious.  "I'd rather have a marksman's gun instead."  He nodded at that.  "You are?"

"Oh, sorry, Lupin the Fourth, this is Archibald Vernasis.  He runs the local fences."  She shook his hand.  "Vecchio's in there and two other local cops were mildly put down for a nap," he said with a smirk.  "I've got the knockout ones in the gun right now."

"Thank you for the warning, Lavelle."  He shook Arsene's hand.  "I look forward to working with you someday, young lady."

"It'll probably be sooner than you think," she assured him, smiling now.  "Come on, Lavelle.  We've got to meet with the others."

"Coming."  He waved and got in to let her drive, calling Goemon's house on the way.  "Where are we meeting you?"  He smirked.  "Head back to the house, Ar.  We've got to pick up Goemon and 'Lis."

"Sure."  She swung that way, waving at a cop who stared at her on the way.  "Do I look like a little kid?"

"Your seat's a bit low for you," he admitted.  "Remember, you're taking Jigen or Goemon to the DMV to get your real licenses."

"Yes, mom.  Can we look at cars too?"

"We'll see.  Your dad has a large collection of cars already."

"Fine."  She honked as they pulled up, letting the others run out and climb in the back.  "Hey, Yu.  Didn't want to give up the daddy?" she cooed.  He shook his head and let himself be strapped in.  "We set?"

"Almost.  Mom, your bags are in there and I was told not to touch the laptop."

"Fine."  He got out to grab his things, doing a last check of the house on the way.  He found Lupin's tie as well so brought it out, handing it to his daughter.  "Here.  He forgot it."

"That man would forget his head some days," she complained, letting him get buckled in before taking off again.  "Someone's got to give me directions."

"That's why I stayed," Goemon assured her. "Go past the palace, you're going that way."  She nodded, turning onto the main road and cutting across two lanes to get into the right one.  That way she wouldn't have to worry about it later.

****

Lupin looked up as the last car pulled up to the house, smiling at his daughter.  "What did you get?"

"She's getting either mine or Jigen's out of the safe," Xander said as he got out.  "It suits her best."

"She can have mine," Jigen agreed.

"I'd like to try them both first," she offered.  Jigen nodded, that made sense.  "Thanks, Uncle Jigen."  She tossed her father his tie.  "You forgot it."  She hugged her father.  "Yu is going to be a very good assassin and thief.  He managed to sneak off Melissa's bra without her realizing it."  Xander groaned and shook his head, the same as Goemon did.  Yu giggled at the noise, knowing it was about him.  He was let go of and headed directly for one of the women's lap, cuddling up to her with a bright grin for her.

"Sure, you can sit with her if she allows it," Lupin agreed, shaking her head.  "So, daddy, when can I get those to try them?  I'd like to have my gun before I go back."

"I'll have Marcus bring the ones from the safe," Lupin promised, grinning at her.  "Come on, Xander.  Lotus wants you to help her too."

"Sure."  He walked around to the back of the house, smiling at Ishi doing a series of tumbling flips.  "Very good."

"Thanks, mom."  He stretched up then sighed.  "Better," he sighed.  "Lotus is on the ropes."

"Going that way then."  He headed out there, watching as Lotus made her way through the tangled ropes to the other side of the maze and then across a rope bridge to the other side.  "Lotus, why are you leaning?" he called.

"I am?"

"You are."

"Crap.  I hate being a girl!"

"If they're that big, we'll get you reduction surgery when you're eighteen," he promised.  She laughed and turned around, going back.  "Straighten your shoulders."  She tried then winced.  "Are you wearing a supportive bra?"

"Yes," she said impatiently.  "I hate bras."

"Then take that one off, see if it helps," he suggested.  She undid it and got one arm free, then pulled it out the other arm hole, dropping it back onto the platform.  She started again and he smirked.  "Much better.  Next time, try for athletic bras, Lotus."

"Yes, Mom.  I guess I did get the ho's rack after all."

"That's why they make reduction surgery," Jigen noted as he came up behind Xander to watch her.  "She's damn good at that," he said quietly, watching as she slithered and wiggled through the rope maze.  The last bit she took the high route, which meant she had to jump.  "Whoa," he breathed.  "I think she's bigger than her mother was."

"Possibly."  Xander continued to watch critically as the young woman made it through the maze and to the other side.  "Very good.  Was that better?"

"Much," she agreed, climbing down to jog over and hug him.  "I'll wear less supportive stuff."

"Wear supportive stuff when you've got to do something like be the bait," Xander suggested.  "Until then, find something comfortable."

"Yes, mom," she agreed with a grin.  She grabbed her other bra and went to stuff it back into her stuff.

"Why aren't you wearing that!" her father yelled.

"Because it was throwing off my balance," she shot back.  "I've got bigger tits than my mother did."

Lupin looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, you do, probably by about a full cup size," he agreed, looking at Goemon.  "We'll get her a way to strap those suckers down."

"Mom said he'd get me reduction surgery."

"Sure," Lupin agreed quickly.

"What is this surgery?" Goemon asked archly.

"It's to take some of the extra stuff out so I'm only a C-cup, dad."  She rolled her eyes.  "That way I'm not bigger than Arsene and I don't look like a stripper."  He shuddered.  "Exactly.  Or haven't you seen me in my latest bathing suit?"  She tossed her bra on top of her bag and went back outside.  She did stop to hug her father on the way, just to make him feel better.  "It's better this way.  I'm not leaning forward anymore."  She grinned up at him.  "It's okay, daddy.  Trust me, I'm your only daughter for a reason."  He nodded, patting her on the head.  "Now all we've got to do is to find you a decent woman to date."  She ran out to help Ishi.

"Go put on a bra!" he yelled.

"It was throwing me off balance."

"Leave her alone, son," Xander called.  He was sitting on the rope swing, watching the kids go through their exercises.  "Goemon, Kenji's doing it again."

He walked over to correct his son's form, straightening his back for him.  "Do not bend down that way," he said gently.  His son grinned at him and did it again, making him nod.  "Thank you, son."

The Elder looked over from watching the oldest son, watching that one.  "For being a mere child he is doing extremely well, son."

"Thank you, grandfather.  Ishi, do it the normal way please. Then you can show off."  He nodded, doing his katas in order.  "Very well done, son."

Ishi started to answer but he heard the arrow coming for him so he flipped out of the way and grabbed his sword to cut it on its way past.  "That reminds me, father, when are you going to teach me to cut bullets?"

"This year, son.  That would be the last thing I teach you," he said, glaring at Alex, who had just shot the arrow.  "At the targets only."  She sniffled.  "Now."

"Alex, honey, Ishi's not a vampire.  Remember, you only shoot vampires with arrows," Xander reminded his baby girl.  She nodded and shot at the target again, making her father happy.  "Good girl, Alex.  Very good girl."  She beamed at him and ran over to get a hug, then went back to her practice.

One of the guards came over to help her aim, making her grin at him.  "Like that, little one."

"I Alex."

"All right, now aim down the shaft, Alex," he repeated.  She nodded and tried it again.  "Does she need glasses?"

"She might, I did when I was younger," Xander offered, hopping down to come over.  He took the bow and used it himself.  "Or this bow could be off to the left," he admitted when his went to the same spot.  He hummed and went to find his usual practice bow, handing it over after trying it out.  She grinned and did it again, getting the outer edge of the center.  "Good job, Al."  He patted her on the head. "That means you can help us cook tonight."  She beamed and danced around.  "Now, get back to practice."  She nodded and grinned at the guard, so he stayed to help her.  Xander put a tag on the bow about the aim, just in case it became necessary.  He beamed at the watching Goemon's.  "She's going to be a White Knight."

"I can tell," the elder said, nodding a bit. "She is very good.  A slayer?"

"No, she's here to take my former spot as a knight.  She doesn't have the mark."  He went back to his swing, watching the kids do their things.  "Ishi, I'd spar with you, guy, but I still ache."

"That's fine, Mom.  I'm good enough with Dad or Uncle Marcus when he shows up."

"Or you could test me," the Elder suggested.  Ishi nodded and grabbed two sticks, tossing him one.  The younger kids were moved and the elder attacked first, putting Ishi on the defensive.  He noticed that the boy used multiple styles and smirked at him.  "Couldn't stay on the pure path?"

"Why?  The more I know, the better I am."  He leapt over his head and got him from behind, grinning at him.  "One point to me.  Are we going to three or five?"

"Five," the elder agreed, facing him again.  The boy fought him in his own style this time, impressing him greatly.  He managed to barely hit the boy once and the boy still got him on the shoulder while not using the arm he had tagged.  "Very good.  I feel old."

"That's the purpose of children," Ishi reminded him.  He bowed and went for his usual style, which was much more flashy and intricate.  The elder managed to get him after about ten minutes.  "Two to one."  He attacked again, using his usual style and his father's tactics.  The elder ended up on his back with the stick against his throat.  "Three to one," he said with a grin.  "You sure you want to continue?"

"Son," Goemon snapped.

"Sorry, dad.  I know, ego is evil and I'm being a smartass."  He helped the elder up.  "Sorry, sometimes I like to get playful."

"It shows in your usual style.  That is much like what the Second nameholder used to do," he admitted.  "He was taught by a Cat Clan teacher first."  Ishi nodded, he'd heard that.  "Do you have many battles with your sword?"

"No.  Not these days, but then again I also know how to shoot as well as any of the marksmen here."  The Elder looked impressed.  "They crosstrained us kids.  Melissa had to take martial arts, as did the rest of them, and I had to learn how to use a gun.  I can use either with brutal efficiency.  I was showing off with you," he finished with another grin.

"I could tell.  You do very good.  One last time, this time for real.  No showing off."  He attacked without warning and Ishi defended himself, getting serious.  He had wanted serious so he would be serious.  He got a small tap to the outer arm again but then he broke the other guy's stick and got him in the chest, brushing back his sweaty hair at the end.  "Very good, Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth.  You do the name proud," the elder admitted, standing up and bowing to him.  Ishi bowed back then pushed his hair back again.  "You should tie that back."

"Mom said so too, but sometimes you don't have the time to."

"Good point."  He handed over a leather cord.  "Do so anyway, son."

"Yes, sir."  He tied back his hair and nodded at the watching people.  "Okay, Kenji, you're first.  Come here."  His brother jogged over and took the stick with a grin.  "Not until you're older.  Dad will shit pink kittens if you do what I did and sneak it out to practice in the woods at night."  He tossed the stick onto a pillow and helped him.  "Let's go hand to hand, little guy.  He got onto his knees.  "Okay, now attack me."  Kenji growled and attacked him, just like his father would.  He laughed and blocked him, getting him into the exercise.  "Good job!" he said when he got Kenji onto his back.  "Very good job.  You lasted a lot longer this time."

"He is doing very good," Goemon agreed, smiling down at his son.  "Try it again."  His son nodded and got up, going against his big brother again.  This time he managed to hit his brother and cackled, but he ended up on his butt again too.  "Good try, son.  Once more please.  Then we'll go back to the katas."  His son jumped up and attacked again, going more fiercely.  At the end Ishi hugged him.

"That was very good, Kenji.  Pretty soon you're gonna be as good as me and as great as daddy.  Then you can join us in the field."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "You've got to practice very hard to join us in the field, so you practice while we're at school, all the time, right?"  Kenji nodded, grinning at him again.  "Good boy.  When you're old enough to go to school, we'll start bringing you with us to do your field training.  Then you can pick on Fred."  Kenji kissed him and then ran off to pounce Fred and wrestle with him.

"Back in line, son," Goemon ordered.  "Once more though those two katas then a bath and lunch."  They got back into line, doing as he had ordered.  He looked at the elder.  "We're starting them younger."

"So I noticed, but he is already shaping up very well," the elder agreed, looking impressed. "I wish some of my sons were that good at your son's age."  He helped Ishi up.  "That was very good of you, son."

"Thank you, grandfather.  Kenji's got the family's style.  Yu's still too young yet but he's a lot like me."  He grinned at his father.  "But we won't get him into guns unless it's necessary."

"Thank you, son."

Xander cackled.  "Just think, there's going to be two Lupin's, a Jigen, and four Goemon's working in the world soon. Nothing will be safe."

"Maybe some day your Alex will join them," the elder offered.

"Only if she has done to her what I did," he said dryly, shaking his head.  "I don't want her to join the life, Elder.  I want her to be happy and have many baby knights someday.  After all, someone has to take over for me in that area."

"Good point," Jigen agreed, patting him on the arm.  "Fred's going to be a mini Lavelle anyway."  He grabbed his hat, keeping Fred from stealing it.  "No."

"Meany."  He went to complain to his father.

"Jigen, why does my son want your hat?" Lupin called from the house a few minutes later.

"Because he's too young to want anything else on him," Lupin the Fourth called back with a grin for her uncle.

"Go meditate and wash your brain of those horrible images," Goemon ordered, pointing at a quiet spot.  "Now, Arsene."

"It was just a joke," she complained as she trudged that way.

Melissa smirked at him.  "Good job, Uncle Goemon.  That's one image I didn't want to have either."  Her father patted her on the back, so she stopped him, looking in his eyes.  "I don't mind you and daddy or you and daddy Lupin but you and Fred would be a bit nasty, daddy, that's all I meant," she assured him quietly.  "I think it'd be neat if you could at least kiss Mom again.  It'd make you both happier."  He nodded and gave her a small smirk before heading inside.  She looked at Ishi, then at Arsene, who all nodded.  They'd have to conspire against their fathers it seemed.  That was fine, they could do that, but they'd have to make sure they weren't mean about it.

***

Xander came in last for dinner, having not gotten to wash his hands because of the kids hogging the bathroom.  He found the only open seat next to Jigen and sat down, taking his plate and chopsticks from Lotus.  "Thanks."  He looked at the food at the center of the table, watching everyone watch him.  "What? I washed my hands."

"We were waiting for you to take first food," Goemon told him.  "Since it's your birthday tomorrow."

"It is?" Xander asked.

Lupin pulled out his planner and checked it, then nodded.  "Yeah, it is," he agreed, putting it back.  "So grab stuff, Xander, we're starving."

Xander shrugged and looked at the offerings, taking some of each of the things he liked, which was most of the meal.  "Thanks, guys."

"Welcome," the kids agreed as they dug in.

"Why don't we celebrate your birthday?" Jigen asked him.

"Maybe because I don't?"

"Good point."  He handed him another egg roll, then dug into his own food.  "I've ordered you something, it'll be at the main house when we get back."

"Sure, Jigen.  You didn't have to."

Jigen kissed him gently.  "I did so.  Shut up."  He went back to eating, watching Xander from the corner of his eye.  Xander was stunned for a moment then shook it off and continued to eat.

"I'm going out tomorrow to pick you up something," Lupin offered.

"It's really not necessary."

"Hush," Lupin ordered, glaring at him.  "I want to give you a birthday present.  I'm giving you something even if you complain."

"Fine," Xander said weakly.  He finished up quickly and went to check on his empire, looking in his email.  Alan had sent him a virtual card until he could get back, making him grin at it.  Alan knew somehow that Lupin and Jigen were getting pushy.

Arsene walked in and gave him a hug.  "I wrote him and told him that Daddy was trying to get back with you because he was miserable.  He said he'd step aside if that's what you wanted but he would be fighting for you."  Xander grinned at her.  "You know I'd love it if you took the two idiots back, but us kids want you to be happy and we do like Alan," she admitted.  "We just think that he can't really understand everything and that you'd be happier with Daddy and Uncle Jigen.  Can you give them a small shot?"

"Sweetheart, your dad had way too many shots already."

"Then what's one more?"

"Another ten months of my ever-shrinking life, the last four of which will be miserable," he said honestly.  "The same as the last two were."  She frowned.  "Really.  I'm not going in the choker ever again.  I can't do that to myself and I won't."

"Then don't," she agreed.  "Daddy would just be happy to be what you needed this time."

"The same as he was the other times, and then what happened?" he asked gently.

"But this time he knows."

"Yeah, but he knew last time too," he pointed out.  He shrugged.  "Your dad knew what he was doing when he ignored me.  He knew it in the other timeline and he knew it in this one.  It's his own fault, princess.  I can almost see Jigen's problem because I'm a guy, but I'm too tired to fight anymore.  I'm not going to stay in the life forever and I'd rather find someone who wanted *me* and wanted to help me settle down.  Your daddy wants his sex toy Lavelle.  He's never wanted the real me.  Alan actually wants the real me, the Xanderish person that first came into the job. He listens to me when I'm planning mild stuff.  He laughs at my anime collection but he knows how much it means to me. He's happy to be with *me*, not with some great gunman.  He's actually said that he wished I hadn't ever been a gunman, he'd like me more."

"Oh."  She sat down beside him.  "I get that, and it's totally cool with us, mom.  If you want him, have him.  He makes you really happy.  He makes you grin and laugh.  Something our fathers haven't done in a while.  But we're not sure he can really be there for you when bad things start to happen.  So you can come to us for that stuff, okay?"  Xander nodded and gave her another hug.  "Thanks, mom.  Send him something mushy."

"You could start writing to him."

"I did last week," she admitted with a small smirk.  "That's when we had this talk about that stuff.  By the way, some of your guys aren't happy that you're taking up with someone outside of the life."

"Bastian's not happy because I'm making moves toward retirement.  He hasn't realized that I'm still doing stuff, just not in the field anymore. I talked with him recently and reminded him of that fact.  He said he'd see how it goes."  She nodded.  "Then again, I'll never be fully out of the life.  I can't ever fully leave, or else I'd never see you guys."  He smirked at her.  "So behave, Ar.  Got it?"  She nodded, going back to her dinner.  He wrote back to Alan, sending him a mushy note and telling him about what he and Arsene had just talked about.  Then he got up and decided to go for a drive.  He sent himself back to London, going to grab his car.  His Jetta was in the garage, but his backup car was still there.  He drove off, going to think to some quiet music and empty roads.  He saw a hazy shape appear on the road in front of him and tried to stop, but he ended up skidding and flipping the car onto its side, blacking out when it hit.

The demon looked at him and groaned.  "That is so bad.  I'm going to be ripped apart for this."  He went to get his Prince some help, before anyone higher up found out about that.  His current toy had a phone.

***

Melissa found her father's room empty the next morning and sat down to check his empire for him, sending out a 'hi, it's 'Lis' message onto his bulletin boards.  She saw one from Bastian and grimaced.  "What?"  She typed to him, ignoring most everyone else.  "What do you mean you're in the hospital?"  She read the message and went pale.  "How bad?"  She typed in a 'bye' and pulled out her father's phone, calling him.  "What happened?" she demanded when he answered.  She listened to his report.  "No, we're in Japan.  He was here too.  Thanks.  No, I can find Alan and tell him too.  No, don't let him wake up alone.  Go ahead and hand the phone to the nurse."  She took a deep breath.  "This is Alexander Harris' daughter. Yes, him.  Yes, I am.  No, but I'm sending forms over for Bastian to treat him until we can get there.  Do you have a fax number?"  She typed it onto the blank screen.  "Thank you.  No, we've got permission to treat, don't worry about it."  She hung up and searched his computer for the power of attorney papers, then typed up a document stating that Bastian Morales had permission to treat him until the family showed up, going to have Jigen sign it.  "Here, you've got power of attorney for him and Bastian needs it, dad," she said quietly, glancing at Arsene.  "He went out for a midnight ride and had a crash.  He's back in London.  They airlifted him from the local hospital."

"Fuck," she stated, her voice a growl.  "Who the hell hit him?"

"Bastian said that dad was babbling something about a demon appearing on the road.  No drugs or alcohol in his system other than his pain killers.  They checked."

Jigen signed the forms, handing them back.  "Fax them over, tell Bastian we'll be there by tonight."  She nodded, going to do that from the office.  Jigen looked around then went out to talk with Lupin, who was outside with both Goemon elders.  "Xander had a crash last night."

"What!" Goemon demanded.

"He's in London.  Someone contacted Bastian or he found out.  We're sending him papers to have him treated until we can get there."

"Let me pack," Lupin agreed.  "Melissa, make us some transportation plans," he yelled.

"Already done. You're leaving from the local airport on a private jet."

Lupin looked at the Goemons.  "We'll be back as soon as we can.  I'll call tonight to tell you how bad he is."  He ran to get his bag, handing Jigen his on the way out of the door.  They took the sedan, noticing that Arsene was in the backseat.  "You can wait."

"Fat chance, father."  She pulled out her phone and checked the phone book, calling a number on it.  "Alan, it's Arsene.  Daddy had a bad crash last night. He's in London.  I'll call you later to tell you where and how bad."   She hung up and looked at them.  "Drive, father, or I will."  He backed down the driveway, heading for the airport, and she waved at the boys watching.  She glanced behind them, then got to her knees so she could flip down the seat beside her and look in the trunk.  "Hi, Fred.  That was a good job of picking locks.  Come up here."  He crawled up there with his teddy bear.  "Good boy."

"Good job, Fred.  Your sister can bring you home later," Lupin ordered, glaring at his daughter in the mirror.   "You're not going."

"Fat chance, father.  He's my mother, I'm going.  You can drug me if you want and I'll still get Melissa to get my ass over there."  She gave Fred a hug.  "Good boy.  Yes, we'll go see Mommy."  He grinned.

"No, we'll have someone bring him back here," Jigen decided, tapping Lupin on the arm.  "Put him down beside the gate and close it.  We can take Arsene.  She's old enough."  Lupin sighed and did that, putting Fred inside the gate and closing it.  Then they headed back to the main road.  "Thank you for calling him, princess."

"Not a problem, Uncle Jigen. I figured someone else would if I didn't.  Should I call Kowalski as well?"

"Nah.  Let Bix tell him," Lupin decided, speeding up to get to the airport.

***

Xander woke up in a very bright, cheery room and groaned, pushing himself up with a wince.  "Ow."  He looked beside him, finding his daughter sitting there.  "No one else came?"

"They're talking with the doctors.  Congrats, you fucked your knee bad enough to need it to be replaced.  You didn't have to shoot it."  She stood up and gave him a hug.  "Relax.  You needed the rest."  She helped him down, smoothing out the sheets.  "Alan said he's coming in tonight and he's leaving tomorrow for that show, then he'll be back.  I took it out of your checking account."  He nodded, squeezing her hand.  "Bastian is really worried about you now.   If it hadn't been for that demon, you probably would have laid there until morning.  The Ancestors went home late last night.  The Kitsune Lord came down to help with that.  Melissa told him where you were and why.  He growled and apparently the anger gave him the extra boost he needed.  I gave him that thing that you locked the portals with but he handed it back."  He sighed.  "So I unlocked them and glared at him.  He should be back tonight. He likes to show up in the middle of the night."  She smoothed some of his hair down.  "You'll be fine.  There's a lot of bruises and some minor scraping but your backup car is gone.  Totally totaled.  Daddy said he'd lend you one until you could get yours out of the shop."

"I doubt I'm going to be driving before then," Xander said bitterly, looking down at his knees.  "Just the one?"

"Just the one.  They scanned your other one and have been giving you the normal dose of medicine you should be taking.  They said it'd be fine and that after this you shouldn't need anymore."

"Arsene, both of my knees ache," he pointed out.

"Then you'll just have to make them replace the other one," she said dryly, smirking at him.  The door opened to admit the nurse.  "Hey, he wanted to know what you're doing about his other bad knee."

"The doctor will be in to talk to you soon enough," she said, checking his machines and IV. "As of right now, we're simply killing the pain."

"If I could have a gun, I'll gladly blow it out to get it replaced too," he offered sweetly.  She snorted and patted him on the arm before leaving them alone.

Jigen came in next, followed by Lupin.  "Bastian had to leave, his sister's in labor."

"That's fine, family comes first," he agreed. "I'll call him later."  He tipped the head of the bed up, looking at them.  "I'm fine."

"Mostly," Lupin agreed.  "You are now the proud owner of a new titanium knee."  He sat on the foot of the bed, patting the bandages.  "You'll be fine.  They said you shouldn't have a problem walking with some practice.  So we'll be taking you home after this."

"No, you've got plans," Xander said firmly.  "Go have fun."

"Xander, you'll need help."

"Argue with me again and I'm never coming home.  Go on vacation just like you planned.  I have a staff there."

"Fine," Jigen said mildly.  "Alan should be landing in about an hour."

"That's fine, I didn't want to worry him.  He could have stayed there and just come home at the usual time."

"This is what those who love you do, we worry," Arsene reminded him gently.  "Let them fuss, mom.  Or else we kids will have to.  You hate it when we do."  He nodded, getting comfortable again.  "Okay, you rest.  I'll drive these two to the airport and then be back.  Then we'll head to the main house in France while you rest, until you're ready to be picked up."  He shook his head.  "You can't drive like that."

"No, but I can take the train back to the house and have the butler or someone pick me up at the station."

"Fat chance, Xander," Jigen said coolly.  "You're not going back there alone."

"There's others up there and I can't have Alan at the main house or else he'll be chased by Gramps.  I'll be back once he goes on tour."

"You could stay here in town," Arsene offered.

"Those reporters are still following me around.  I'd rather no one knew where that hideout was.  Besides, this way I don't have to come over later this year to deal with the estate stuff.  I can get it out of the way for another year."  Everyone nodded. "So you two are going on vacation and I'm going back to the manor house.  The kids can come stay with me or go back to France, that's up to them."  They all nodded.  "Any other discussions?"  They shook their heads.  "Then go.  Before the pain killers wear off."  Lupin and Jigen both gave him a hug but they knew better than to argue with him over stuff like this, he'd out- stubborn them.  They left, letting Arsene drive them to the airport.  Xander settled in and was relaxing when his next guest appeared.  "Hey, Ray.  How's it going with Bix?"

"Not bad.  She's real worried about you at the moment."

"I'm fine.  Mostly some big booboos."  He shrugged.  "They replaced one of my knees."

"But that's helpful," he reminded him, smirking at him.  "I could handcuff you to the bed."

"Since I don't have any warrants, you'd be in deep shit if you did," Xander said lightly, smirking at him.  "You're welcome to try however."  Ray shook his head and sat down.  "I'm fine."

"I'm sure you think you are, but you did promise to cap us in a way that meant we couldn't follow the kids when you retired."

"That's in a few months," Xander promised him.  "The kids are going back to school soon.  When they've started, once they pull their first official job."

"Sure, we can handle that," Ray agreed with a grin.  "I called everyone and told them you wouldn't be at Paris this year."

"Bet me."

"It's next week, Xander."

"So?  I can go in a wheelchair."

"Good point.  I'll tell Misty that you'll need to have things changed around then."  He patted him on the hand.  "You sure you're gonna be okay?"

"No, but I've dealt with worse in the past."

"Good point.  You sure you want them to go on vacation?"

"Hell yes, otherwise they'll hover and pout and push me to come back."

"You're not going back?"

"Into the field, probably, into their arms, probably not," he sighed.  "I'm tired of trying to keep their attention.  I need someone who *wants* to be with me. Not someone who I'm a convenient hole for.  Alan actually likes me, it's a nice change."

"Okay, as long as you're happy.  You work less when you're happy," he reminded him smugly.  "I'll call Misty tonight and warn you may still be coming but you're going to be in a chair.  You get better, Xander.  The life's boring without chasing you around the world."  He gave him a gentle pat and left, going back to make his report.  At least this gave them a few more months before they had to make plans to retire.

Xander was starting to dose when Alan burst into the room, grinning at him.  "Hi.  I'm okay."

"You're not all right, you're in that bed!"  He gave him a hug and put the flowers in his hand down on the bedside table.  He looked him over.  "Just banged up?"

"And a replacement knee."

"You poor thing."  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "I can stay."

"No, you're going back to do your show then coming back to let me spoil you," Xander ordered.  "I didn't want to throw off your schedule.  You could have waited."

"Fat chance, Xander.  Now, behave and I'll buy you a treat later.  I might even get you a soda."  Xander grinned at him.  "Good boy.  Need anything?"

"Helped into the bathroom?"

"Of course.  I can't stand those little bedpans and stuff either."  He lowered the bedside railing and helped him up, steadying him into the bathroom.  Then he came back out to fuss in the room until his mate called for him again.   Maybe he'd be able to keep Xander in bed.  He was tucking him back in when the nurse came back.  "He just went to the loo."

"We figured as much."  She smiled at him.  "Time for medicine."

"Ooh, I love medicine time," he agreed happily.  "Can we kill my other knee too?"

"No, Mr. Harris.  Sorry."  She handed over the little cup of pills.  "Fortunately we won't have to shove it into your buttocks again.  Unless you give us trouble."

"I'm a good boy," he said innocently.

Alan snorted.  "Don't believe it.  He's a bad, bad boy."

"So I can tell," she agreed, taking the cup back.  "Good boy. You rest.  Your friend can stay for a few more hours, then we'll have to clear him out for a bit."

"No, he's my boyfriend, he can stay," Xander told her.  "The others are my ex's and the parents of my children, and my children.  The exes are going on vacation, the kids may be back, and they can come up too."

"Fine," she agreed, going to make notes of that for him.

"I'm proud of you, you didn't lock them out," Alan said with a smirk.  "Very good job."

"I wouldn't lock them out.  It'd only be a challenge."  He grinned at him.  "Wanna cuddle?"

"No, I'll sit here and watch you sleep for a bit while I write my agent."

"Use my laptop.  Arsene brought it."  He pointed at it.  "It's my backup one."

"Thanks, Xan."  He grabbed it and plugged it in, writing his agent a nice email about what was going on and how he'd be back there tomorrow, airlines willing.  "Think I should work on a nurse routine?"

"Sure.  You can practice on me," Xander leered, making his lover blush.  "Just think, for the next month or so I've got to be on my back probably.  No kinky stuff."

"Hmm, I could appreciate you on your back for the next month," Alan agreed lightly, smirking at him.  "We'll have to see about that won't we?"

Xander giggled and curled up on his side to watch him type.

Enough for Now.

Note: in the manga (basically the novel style comic books for those who don't know) anytime you see a very young Lupin he is surrounded by busty women.  So either he inherited them, got them on his own merit, or his grandfather hired them.

The men accepted their orders from the woman behind the desk, bowing to her before walking off.  They didn't know who she was, most people just called her Duality.  She was greatly feared in Asia's syndicates and this time she had some very specific orders.  They were odd, but about half the ones she gave out were odd. It was like she had some direct link to find out what would cause the most chaos in the other syndicates.  Some of the bigger mob bosses shuddered when the word duality was mentioned, much less when someone talked about her.  This time, she had set her sights very high, and very high profile.  They read their notes and nodded at each other, very doable.

"Another chaos inducer," one of them said gruffly.

"I wonder what they did to deserve her attention," the other complained.

"Who cares.  We don't have to kill no one this time, just pick up something, put it on them, and deliver them to another location."  He shrugged.  "We can deal with it.  It's an easy sixty grand."

"True.  Much nicer than handling those rats and putting them into the Queen's box at the opera last year.  Was kinda funny though."

"I'm sure these will be too.  And hey, they're universally famous.  People will be laughing for years."  He looked at his letter again.  "Why do we have to think about women when we put it on them?"

"I don't know," he admitted, shrugging.  "Who cares?  It's an easy sixty grand."  They headed to the car, getting in to find the boxes they'd need to do the first part of the job.  Then they could find Lupin the Third and his gunman Jigen.

***

Lotus got up from her meditation and walked inside the house, slamming the door.  "Father, Lupin's in trouble," she said quietly.

"What's the girl done this time?" he asked patiently.

"Wrong Lupin, father."  He stilled his hands, letting the food he had been chopping rest for a moment.  "Someone's doing something to get Uncle Lupin.  They're going to Mom's afterward."

"I'll tell Xander."

"No, father, you must stop them.  You must capture, but not kill, the people who are to hurt him.  It's important.  Otherwise a tragedy will be done.  They cannot die.  Take Ishi with you, there's two of them."

"I can ...."

"Father!" she snapped.  "I saw it.  They're crooks.  You'll want to kill them once you hear.  You and brother go stop them before they can get to Uncles Lupin and Jigen or you capture them afterwards.  There's no other choice besides them living with the horrors that will be imposed upon them."  She stared at him down and he nodded.  "Thank you!  Scoot!  Now!  They've already broken into the hiding spot.  I'm calling the other kids to help."

"Fine, daughter."  He went to pack a small bag and wake up his son, who was napping after a long meditation.

Lotus picked up the phone, dialing Lupin's cellphone.  "Your father's in danger.  Janus said so.  Capture the people doing it, do not let them be killed, or else it'll be hell for them."  She hung up, going to shower.  She felt dirty now.  Even though it wasn't her plan, she felt filthy and nasty about them doing this, even though it might fix a great many problems within her family.   She heard her father and brother leave and sighed in relief.  They were taking her seriously.

***

Arsene hung up the phone and looked at her sister.  "That was Lotus.  Dad's in danger, Janus ordered it, and we've got to capture the people who plan on hurting them if we can't stop them in advance."

"Why?" Melissa asked as she stood up to stretch.

"I don't know.  She didn't say.  Just that it'd be hellish if they died.  Have I been having nightmares and not realizing it?"

"No," Melissa offered.  "Let's call the 'rents to warn them.  We can fly out to where they are later this afternoon."

"Sure."  They packed a bag quickly then called the parents, getting voicemail.  So they called their mother and got a happy, chuckling Xander and told him.  He said he'd call Marcus.  Since he was on bedrest after having one knee replaced, he couldn't jump in to help, but that didn't mean he couldn't call the others in.  They ran for the airport, deciding that a chartered flight would be fastest and cheapest, especially on their nerves since it would take four connections to get to the island they were sunning themselves on.  Besides, they could go with a few smugglers and get a discount.  They were mostly reputable.

***

Lupin looked up as Jigen carried a drink over to him, giving him a grin.  "This is the life, buddy."

"It is, but I'd still wish we were back there for Xander."

"He told us to come and to enjoy ourselves," Lupin reminded him.

"Yeah, but it still sucks."  Jigen laid down again, sipping from his straw.  "Any news from the kids?"

"Arsene left a message a few minutes ago but it was a short one so I'm guessing it was her daily check-in.  I'll listen to her babble later."

"Sure, Lupin."  Jigen watched the waves, thinking some hard thoughts.  They had a chance, Xander's friend Alan had to do a show on the road for the next month and a bit so he was free and clear of the competition and it was time to either fix it or break up forever. He didn't want to lose Xander so he'd have to figure himself out pretty damn quick and make sure that he could touch him the way he needed.  He needed Xander, Xander made him feel young again.  He looked at Lupin, who was staring at a woman down the beach, who was nursing her baby.  "Missing that time?"

"Yeah, I do," he admitted, taking a long sip of his mixed, icy drink.  "I kinda miss watching Xander do that with the kids.  I miss it a lot."

"He's never going back into the choker, Lupin. You've got to either move on and deal with Xander or you've got to let him go.  Not that I want to, but it'd make him happy."

"I'm not sure I can do that.  There's not much I can honestly say I'm possessive about but Xander is one of those things."

"Then we'll all be miserable, man.  I'm tired of being a miserable prick.  We need to move on."

"We will," Lupin promised.  "We've simply got to convince Xander to come back to us."

"How?"

"I don't know yet, but I'm working on it.  We'll stop in London when we go back in a few days," he admitted.  "Maybe we'll be able to bring him home with us."

"Maybe, but he didn't say he wanted to come back to the house."

"He will.  The kids'll be there and Xander would never abandon his kids."

"That's why they're at the manor house again," Jigen reminded him.  Lupin looked at him, frowning now.  "He had Bix move them last week.  He told you that."

"I thought that was a temporary thing."

"This is Xander we're talking about, Lupin.  It's not temporary if he doesn't want it to be.  He's finally getting a new chance at a normal life and it looks like he may take it."  He sipped from his drink again.  "I'd hate it but he deserves it if that's what he really wants."

"I want him back."

"Then pout at him, it might work," Jigen said dryly.  He wasn't holding out much hope for it but it could happen.  Xander still had mushy feelings for them.  He took another sip and put his drink down again.  "Just think, within ten years, we'll be able to watch one of the girls do that same thing."

"Ick, Jigen.  None of our kids had better ever have kids while we're alive.  It'd be too soon."

"If we live to be eighty, they'd be too old," Jigen reminded him.

"Arsene won't want one."

"Yay," Jigen said dryly.  "If there'll be a Fifth other than a ferret, there'll have to be one born from her body, or from Fred's."

"Fred's just a baby."

"Fred's seven, Lupin, and he'll be more than old enough by then to have knocked some girl up because he won't be careful.  I'm surprised you haven't had a few more roaming around."

"Good timing I guess," Lupin sighed.  He finished off his drink and got up.  "Want another one?"

"I'm not ready yet."

"Fine, buddy."  He went to the bar, going to get another drink.  He had to wipe out those thoughts before they took root.  His son was not going to be having kids in the next twenty years.  He'd forbid it if he had to.  There would be no Lupin the Fifth for at least another twenty years.  He shuddered and shook his head, ordering an extra shot to get rid of that thought.

Then again, that was going to be his last thought for a few days.

***

Arsene got off the plane and called the resort.  "This is Lupin the Third's daughter.  I need to speak to him urgently.  No, like someone's going to try to kill him and they won't care who's in the way."  That was the only bad thing she could think of happening.  "Excuse me?"  She grabbed Melissa and let her hear what the receptionist was saying while she went outside to scream and stomp up and down.

"They were checked out when?" she asked calmly.  "No, this is Jigen's daughter.  When?"  She looked at the time on her watch.  "Was it them or was it someone else?  Do you have security pictures of them?"  She frowned.  "Fine.  Thank you.  Did they leave anything?  No, send that to whatever address they put on their forms.  There's not another airstrip on the island, correct?"  She sighed.  "Thank you for your help, ma'am."  She hung up and went jogging down the halls of the small airport, heading for the security office, stunning the guards in there.  "We came to help our fathers, who are under a new death threat.  Someone stunned them and checked them out of their hotel.  Has anyone drugged or anything suspicious gone out today?"  They slowly shook their heads.  "How many flights so far today?" she demanded.

"We can't release that information, miss," one of the guards said.  She pulled her gun and already had it cocked by the time it was pointing at his nose.  "Okay.  You are?"

"Jigen.  Melissa Jigen.  Daughter to Diasuke Jigen.  Niece and goddaughter to Lupin the Third."

"There were two commercial flights and one that's about to go out, but they weren't on them," another guard said.  "There's been six private flights as well.  We checked them out before they left.  They were not on them."

"Not in any form?" Ishi said from behind them.  "Janus sent someone after them, 'Lis.  On the orders of Duality."  She shuddered and looked back at him.  "Can you compare incoming and outgoing passports?"

"They're all on computer, but the private flights."

"Compare them or I will," Ishi ordered.  The guard got out of the way, he didn't want to mess with these children.  Ishi compared the lists.  "Two, outgoing, female passports that don't register as incoming."  He looked at Melissa. "You don't think."

"No, I don't," Lupin said as she walked in.  "No male ones?"

"One.  He's a movie star though so he could have taken a private flight home."

"He did.  He left this morning."  Ishi copied the lists onto a keychain storage device and walked out with the ladies, heading out to where his father was waiting.  "There's no good matches and private flights aren't logged that way.  There's only two female not accounted for and one male who left on a private flight this morning."

"Females?" Goemon asked.

"Females.  No pictures in the files however.  Both of them have passports from Singapore."

"Interesting.  Headed where?"

"They're not women," Arsene shouted.

"Calm yourself.  It would not take much to disguise them, especially if they claimed to be ill," Goemon chastised.  "Their destination?"

"Singapore then they're booked on six different flights from there."

"Very interesting.  We should go to Singapore then."

"We'll never get there in time to capture them," Melissa complained.  "They must have left hours ago. They've already have landed by now."

"Two had US destinations and one had a European destination.  One was Japan, one was China, and one was Thailand," Ishi told his father.  "The last was Britain."

"Call Xander, have him check his contacts to find these women and to track their passports," Goemon ordered.  His son nodded and stepped away from the group to do that.  "Lupin, calm yourself."

"They're still not women.  It'd be really hard to make them women," she said coldly.  "We hid the chokers."

"The women who sent the thieves after them is named Duality," Goemon said quietly.  "She is reported to be a fellow priest of Janus.  Lotus had a vision of them being gone after.  What were your orders?"

"I haven't gotten any from Janus," she admitted, thinking back.  She sent a silent prayer, looking up, but nothing came.  She called Ethan's house.  "Uncle Ethan."  He hung up and she looked at the phone.  "Okay then."  She did it again.  "Do it again and I'm raiding the house," she warned.  "Someone named Duality sent people after Daddy and Uncle Jigen.  We were ordered to find the guys and to stop them before they were killed.  Especially stopping the crooks who did it before they were killed.   A woman who's supposedly a high priestess of Janus ordered them to do this.  Do we have a clue here?  Where did you hide the chokers?"  She listened to Marcus' quiet rant.  "Yay, Uncle Marcus.  This is daddy and Uncle Jigen here."  He said something else that made her drop the phone. "No."

Melissa snatched it.  "Uncle Marcus?  What the fuck is going on?"  She listened to him.  "So we're stopping the crooks so we can get them to undo it?"  She sighed.  "Fine, thank you.  Any idea where they're dropping them off?  Because that person is known for her bitchy nature.  If she's sending them to someone like Mom was nearly sold to, we'll have to act."  She listened to him. "Yes it is.  He's vengeful."  She snorted.  "Yeah, he is.  Fine, you ask.  If they're not in any danger then we'll go track the crooks to stop them from being killed.  If they're in danger, we're going to have to free them."  He said something to Ethan, making her relax.  "Thank you."  She hung up.  "They're headed for Thailand.  Janus isn't sure if he wants to sell them into slavery or not."

"Then we'll head there," Ishi agreed, closing the phone in his hands.  "Mom's aware and put the word out that *he* wants to talk to the guys who attacked Lupin and Jigen, personally.  If they're killed then he's going to take it out on the people who killed them.  He's also put word out that he wanted to *speak* with Duality very soon.  He wants her in working order as well but she can be nearly dead when he sees her.  The others aren't to even have a scratch.  Unfortunately, Uncle Ray was in there visiting.  He heard."

"So that means we're in a race against the ICPO and the people in the underworld who want to take out the family," Arsene said.  "Fine.  Are the crooks in Singapore?"  Ishi nodded.  "Fine.  Daddy and Uncle Jigen?"

"Thailand.  They're due to land in an hour."

"I'll work on getting us there.  Lupin, take Uncle Goemon to Singapore," she ordered.  "We can save both fathers."  She nodded, dragging him off to book their flights.  "Ishi, are we up to this?"

"I am," he agreed dryly.  "It's not the first rescue we pulled.  They're headed for the capital if it helps."

"It does."  She booked them on the next flight out by going through the local smugglers, heading outside to meet up with them.  With any luck they could go faster.

"What're you two doing going there?"

"We're looking for kidnap victims," Melissa said grimly.  They shuddered.  "Exactly."

"No adults going?" the copilot asked.

"He's deadly and I'm not far behind him.  We've got uncles meeting us there," Melissa assured him bitterly.  "How much longer and can we help load?"

"No, kids.  Go get a soda.  It won't be much longer," the pilot offered.  They nodded and went to the bathroom and got a short drink.  "Don't think about it.  That's Jigen's little girl and Goemon the Fourteenth.  They're infamous already.  They're the ones who planned that break-out during the floods a few years back.  Where they are, Lupin the Fourth and Third can't be far behind."

"She's a pretty thing."

"Who likes girls," the pilot snorted.  "Don't think about it."

"She'd bring a pretty price."

"So would your life," Lotus said from behind them, making them jump.  "Melissa and my brother?"

"Who're you?" the copilot sneered.  He soon learned his mistake when she flipped him onto the ground and stood on his chest, a dagger already out.  "Who...."

"I'm Lotus.  Goemon's daughter.  Got the point?"  She looked at the pilot. "I'm going too.  Is it going to be extra?"  He shook his head.  "Fine.  If he's too injured, Ishi and Melissa can both help fly.  They've taken their licenses already."  She got off him and pulled him up. "Don't think about it. My mother tried once.  Heard of her recently?"  He shook his head and moved to load more crates onto the plane.  "Can I help?"

"No, go get a drink.  We won't leave without you."

"Why would you?" Ishi asked as he came back with a covered soda.  "New news?"

"Yeah, they've been sold the Golden Dragons.  They're a nasty little set of bastards."  The pilot winced.  "Hence me coming along.  An extra grand be enough?"

"It's not necessary, miss.  That's a fate worse than death."

"Thank you."  She took her brother's soda to get a drink, then handed it back.  "Melissa is where?"

"Changing clothes.  They were in France and it was cooler there."

"Good point."  She looked down at her Gi done in linen then shrugged.  "I'm dressed for comfort.  It's muggy at the house."  She looked around, seeing Lupin the Fourth stomping their way.  "Hey."

"Hey yourself.  Where are they?"

"Thailand.  The Golden Dragons."

"Have fun with that," Arsene said dryly.  "Did she get the chokers?"  Lotus nodded.  "Wonderful," she said bitterly.  "I've got my phone in case you need to send a desperate 'save us'."

"It won't be a problem," Lotus assured her.  "That's why I'm going too."  She smirked at her.  "Have fun in Singapore."

"Oh, I intend to.  Should I bring you back a t-shirt?"

"Sure, why not."

Ishi grunted in annoyance.  "You can't get gone sooner?"

"A half hour before boarding.  Melissa?"

"Changing."

"Wonderful."  She looked over as her sister came out, one eyebrow going up at the unusual Melissa outfit.  "Are you trying to get stolen?" she asked cheerfully.

"No, I'm being the distraction."  She tied the knots under her breasts tighter, then pulled on her leather jacket again and zipped it halfway up.  "Don't I look like an American?"

"You do and they won't like it," the pilot warned.

"Yay," she said with a smirk.  "What're they going to do, arrest me?"  He shook his head.  "Be careful.  Singapore's one of those city of rats and mazes."

"I know.  We've already got an interview an hour after we land," she said smartly.  "Uncle G knows someone."

"Be careful anyway.  They're still snakes," Lotus warned.  She nodded and jogged back to the terminal.  "It's not necessary, Melissa."

"It is.  I'm damn hot in full jeans."  She untied her shirt and undid her jacket, tucking her shirt back into her newly cutoff shorts.  "There, better?"

"Much," Ishi agreed.  "Let's help them load."  He let Melissa have the rest of his soda and moved over to help them load the boxes into the plane.   Lotus paid her fare and got down to work as well.

Melissa decided to flirt with the customs officers when they showed up, giving the others time to put things away that didn't need to be found.  They couldn't have this flight hung up.

***

Lupin woke up in a room, groaning at the heat and the light.  "Damn it.  Jigen?"  He heard a groan.  "Jigen!"

"Shut up, bitch!" a male voice yelled.  A man stomped in.  "The only time your mouth should open is when someone wants to use it."  He sneered as she stood up.  "What?  Going to try to kick my ass?  There's fifty other guards outside who'd *love* to break you in for the house."

"I doubt it," Lupin vowed, realizing that his voice was higher now.  He glanced at himself in a nearby mirror and growled, tugging at the thing around her throat.  "Who the fuck!"  The guard hit her and she kicked him in the stomach, dropping him to the ground.  She saw another woman in the room, also wearing a familiar choker, and walked over to gently wake her.  "Jigen?"

"Huh?  What?  Who're you?"

"It's Lupin, Jigen."  He pointed at the choker.  "You too."  He looked around.  "We're in deep shit.  This is a people factory."

Jigen sat up, feeling around her throat.  "Friggen hell, man."

"Tell me about it.  I'm not near as cute as I thought."  He helped Jigen stand, watching her wobble. "It'll be fine.  Someone will be coming for us soon.  If not the kids, then Marc and Xander will be bringing Goemon."

"I doubt it.  No one knew where we were before."

"The girls did," Lupin promised.  "Arsene let it slip that she had tracked us."  He looked over as the guard groaned, kicked him again.  "Where the fuck are we!"

Jigen lifted up his arm, showing the tattoo.  "A Golden Dragon man."

"Fine.  We can deal with them," Lupin agreed. "Go get your boss, now.  This shit will be stopping."

"Pretty bitches like you will get too much to let you go," he sneered from the floor, still wincing.

Jigen took the direct approach, opening the door to stare at the guards.  "We're in the employ of Lupin the Third.  He's already coming for us.  Get your boss and maybe we can make a deal to buy our way out of here."  They scoffed and he glared.  "Now, boys.  You don't want to see it when Lavelle gets here."

"Why would he?  He's in the hospital," an older man noted. "And for the record, I was told," he said smugly.

Jigen grabbed him by the throat.  "Then you know who else is coming," he said coldly.  "And the kids will kill you."

"Not before we can kill you," he wheezed.  "You're not leaving."

"That's fine, then we can simply kill you all," Lupin said, pulling the first guard's gun.  He shot two of the guards in the hall then pointed it at the older man.  "Your choice."

"Face it, Lupin, you're here to stay.  Nothing and no one will be coming for you.  If those beautiful daughters of yours come, they'll be ours too.  The Lupin dynasty is no more."

"Bet me," Jigen growled.  "Lupin, give me the gun."  It was handed off and he shot the old man, then the rest of the guards.  "Grab them, more are coming."  He took a few of the pistols and a machine gun, letting Lupin take the rest of them.  They started for a door that led outside, and had to eliminate two more guards.  They walked outside and noticed the jungle.

"Gentle ladies, you are about a hundred miles from anything remotely favoring civilization," a smug voice said from behind them.  "You'll never make it out of the jungle alive."

Jigen spun, gun at the ready.  There were more guards behind the young guy.  "Who says we want to be here?"

"Nobody.  Do you think I care?" he asked smugly. Lupin shot him in the groin, making him scream.  "Kill them!"

"Do it, watch my family destroy this whole place.  Lavelle!"

"He's still in the hospital."

"And?" Xander asked as he appeared, leaning on a cane.  "Yay, I'm sore.  I'm also drugged to the gills, ladies.  How do you know me?"

"It's us, Xan, Lupin and Jigen."  Xander blinked a few times, then sighed and shook his head.  "Really."

"Whatever."  He looked at the guards and smirked.  "You took some of my boss's people.  That's dumb.  Really, really dumb."  He took the machine gun from Jigen and mowed the rest of the guards down.  "Now then.  If you're who you say you are, Melissa will know when she gets here tonight with Ishi and Lotus.  Then we'll see, won't we?  For now, go free the rest of the women and hold the place steady.  There's six heads of the Golden Dragons.  Only two were here and one's a newbie to the field."  He poked the dying one, grinning at him. "Let's go talk to your bosses," he said happily.  "Have a good afternoon, ladies.  I'll be back later."  He hauled him up and took him with him, landing in front of a triad board.  "Good morning!" he said happily.

"Wrong movie," one of the guards snorted.  Xander shot him and he died.

Xander grinned at the remaining upright people, letting the other fall.  "As you *should* know, I'm Lavelle.  I'm pissed.  You're the reason I'm pissed and not in the hospital on *good* drugs."

"We have some of those," one of the men offered blandly.  Xander shot him too.

"Now then.  You took Lupin the Third and Jigen.  I'm pissed at this.  The kids are coming.  I suggest you cooperate, before I wipe out your clan," he said from between clenched teeth.  He really needed his newest dose of medicine.  "Otherwise, I'll be coming back after my next dose of painkillers."  Someone let out a yell and he shot at them blindly, making them fall to the floor, or at least someone did.  "I'm not thrilled at the moment, boys.  Pity for you."  He pulled out a little plunger device and pushed it, then let it hit the floor.  "Thankfully I also happen to be friends with some very...odd people.  Hopefully Lupin the Fourth gets here first."  He smirked at them.  "Where are the crooks in question?"

"They're in the back room, they landed already dead," one of the remaining humans said, staring him down.  "Prove you're Lavelle."

Xander took off the illusion choker and the man gasped, covering his eyes as they started to bleed.  "Ya think I'm who I said I am?" he asked dryly.  "And here I had a new plan that could have netted some very enterprising demon a hell of a lot of cash and possibly souls."  He looked at the others, noticing they were starting to look scared now.  "I'm in a pissy mood, gentlemen.  You're making it worse.  Can we stop this pissing contest?  Give me what I want and I'll go.  Give Lupin the Fourth what she wants and she won't destroy the building with you in it.  Your choice, of course," he finished smugly.

"Sir," Brad groaned from the floor.

Xander stepped back to look at him.  "Dumb move, kid, but I'll take you back with me when I go for meds.  You critical?"  He shook his head.  "Good."  He looked at the others.  "He's dating my daughter.  I almost liked him too."  He shrugged.  "Anyone wanna do the brave thing before I blow you up?"

"You wouldn't dare.  Those *men* of yours will stay that way," one sneered.  "Eventually you'll run out of bullets too."

Xander rolled up his sleeve, uncovering a tattoo and stroked over the pattern, bringing a demon.  "Take this one to a decent hospital.  I shot him accidentally.  Then come back here and leave the people who fucked with my mates alone, and leave someone to give Lupin the Fourth information.  Keep the rest here and without communications."  It grunted and nodded, taking the boy away, then coming back to hold the others hostage.  "See, I'm going to leave this in Lupin's hands.  I'm going to go back to my hospital bed now.  I'll be back though.  You'd better be more cooperative."  He disappeared, walking out of the bathroom into his boyfriend's back. "Hey, Alan."  He put back on the illusion choker, covering all the demonic tattoos.

"You weren't in there a minute ago."

Xander grinned as he climbed into bed.  "I had a desperate summons.  It's all good.  The kids can handle it now."

"Huh?" he asked, looking confused.

"I can't do it often but I can occasionally hop around to places where I've been," he admitted. "It's a handy thing to get out of jail cells."  His boyfriend blinked.  "Too strange?"

"Yeah!  A bit too strange, Xander!"

"Sorry.  It's just another wacky part of my life," he groaned, pushing the button. "I ache.  Isn't it time yet?"

"Nearly," she said patiently, checking his vitals.  "What did you get into?  You smell like brimstone."

"It happens," Xander said dryly.  "I had a short meeting outside the hospital."  She gave him an odd look so he grinned.  "What?"

"You've been in that bed the whole time, young man.  You haven't left yet."  She bustled out, going to make notes on his chart about the smell.  Just in case it was important.

"See, even when I'm honest no one believes me," he said dryly.

Alan shook his head and walked out.  "I'll be back tomorrow, Xander, when you're sane."

"Sure, Alan."  He snuggled in better and pulled over his laptop to write Marcus and Ethan, and to write his list.  Arsene lurked on it.  Besides, this was now a war.  No one played head games like that with him.  He did ask about the women as well, not sure what was going on with them.  He'd have to go back there later.  After his next dose of pain medicine.

***

Lupin looked over as the door to the house opened, glaring at the man standing there.  "You are?" he asked, raising his gun when he saw who was behind him.  "Jigen!"

"Shit, baby girl."

"Daddy?" she asked, looking him over.  "At least you're pretty."  She stabbed the guy in the back and walked around his body, coming in to hug them. "Lotus is presently warming up the plane we bought.  We're taking all these women somewhere safer, namely Hawaii.  We've already called Gramps and told him, he's promised to alert the FBI.  Gather everyone and let's go.  Ishi's got the van."  They nodded and went to lead the women out, taking them out to the van.  It was a tight fit but they didn't care.  Lupin made a last pass through to make sure they'd gotten everybody and found a few more people, taking them with him.  So the van was very cramped but they didn't care.  Melissa looked back at him.  "Mom, and Auntie Mom, we're going to Hawaii.  Then we're taking you back to the other Mom's house."  Ishi sneezed.  "Bless you.  Don't crash us."

"I won't.  I've already radioed Lotus.  She said there's probably more of them."

"There's always more of them," Lupin said bitterly.  "Anything from my daughter?"

"No.  Not yet.  She's with Uncle G though."  She shrugged.  "You two okay?"

"So far," Jigen said bitterly, running a finger under his choker. "I hate this thing already."

"Just wait, it gets worse," she reminded him smugly.  "Remember all those things you had to tell me about?  Well, remember, you're now open to them."  They pulled onto the private airfield, pulling up next to the plane.  There were two cops waiting on them.  She got out and walked over to them. "I'm stealing my mother back from the people who stole her from a beach to be sold into slavery.  You got a problem with that or do you need a bribe?"

"No, we were called by Interpol to make sure everyone got onto the plane," he said grimly.  "This is all you managed to rescue?"

"It was one house's worth," Ishi told him.  "There's bodies there.  We tried to save as many as we could find.   I drew a map on the way up.  You can have the van, we rented it."  The cops nodded, agreeing to that.  If there were any left, they were theirs.  "Ladies, into the plane.  We're going to the States."  They rushed up the ramp, some having to be helped but most of them were mobile.  Lupin and Jigen went last with Ishi behind them.

Melissa paid the guards.  "Thank you for protecting his sister and our plane, gentlemen.  Consider it a donation to continue the good work," she said at the opening mouth.  "Use it to hire another cop."  She ran up the ramp and pulled it up, closing the doors.  "Go, Lotus."

"Going," she agreed, calling the tower and starting the engines.   She slowly moved them down the runway, then sped up, taking off right before the end of the runway.  "I could use a good copilot," she called.

"I'm on it, Lotus," Jigen called, coming forward after helping bandage a woman's cut.  He put on the headphones, listening to the radio commands, putting in the corrections.  She nodded her thanks and accepted them, changing headings.  When they got far enough out, he had to switch channels, which got him into Hawaii's channels.  "What's our call sign?"

"Alpha Bravo Mercy 909."

"Hilo Tower, this is Alpha Bravo Mercy 909."   The radio went searching and someone new came on, telling him to land the plane at a certain airstrip.  "We're due to rendevous with Federal Agents in Maui."  He got the go ahead and nodded at her, helping her change the heading so they could land.  "Want me to take over?"

"Please.  I've never landed anything bigger than the private jet.  I'll copilot."  Her new aunt nodded and brought them in for a slightly bumpy landing but it was mostly the old runway's fault not hers.  They stopped next to a building and she took off her headphones, shutting down the engines.  She noticed a few busses coming their way.  "Let me go."  She got up and walked back there.  "Wait here, ladies.  I'm making sure these are the Feds that're supposed to be here."  They nodded, letting her go first.  She knew her brother was in the doorway.  She squinted at the busses, smiling as a familiar figure got off the first one. "Uncle Ray.  How's things?"

"Bad all over.  What happened?"

"Some bitch named Duality."  He shuddered.  "She'll be dead soon.  Mom's throwing a fit from his bed."  She pulled him away.  "She found the chokers."  Vecchio shuddered. "She pulled a maternal unit and sold them to some Golden Dragons.  We pulled a rescue, letting the local cops have the remaining bodies and anyone they can find living.  That's the women we saved on the plane, plus two."

"Fine," he agreed.  "Let me handle this, Lotus.  Good work.  Wanna come work with your sisters?"

"Fat chance, Uncle Ray.  I'm still an assassin."  She jogged back up the ramp. "It's all good.  The American in Armani is ICPO Inspector Vecchio. He's from Chicago.  You can trust him, I do.  So let's get you off the plane and to a hospital to be checked over.  Then they'll try to find your families and get you to them."  They got out of the way, letting the Feds gather the women and take them down to the busses.  "She's pregnant, she's been puking," she said as one was led past where she was sitting.  The Fed grimaced but nodded, treating her a bit more carefully.  She looked around as the last woman was led off.  "Okay, Aunties.  Let's get this show on the road."

"Hold it," Vecchio said as he stepped inside.  "You don't have your pilot's license."  She grimaced.  "Find another way home, Lotus.  We're going to have to confiscate the plane anyway to look for other evidence."

"Fine," she sighed.  "Let us get our bags and we'll head to a hotel.  That cool?"

"That's fine.  Xander's back in his bed.  He apparently," he coughed, "had a talk with some of the people in Singapore.  The bulletin boards are lighting up with what Lupin the Fourth found when she and Goemon got there."  He looked at the one he thought was Lupin, and turned out to be Jigen.  "The news she put across wasn't good.  The crooks were dead when they got off the plane.  As soon as they handed you over.  She's taken their bodies into custody and she's bringing them to the main house in Hati."

"No, not Hati," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "'Lis, tell her to bring them to Mexico. Not to Xan's house but to ours."

"Yes, sir.  Um, ma'am."  She pulled out her phone to make the call.  "Lupin said to bring them to Mexico to her house."  She looked at them.  "Yup, both of them.  No, that's fine."  She hung up.  "She can't get their bodies out of Singapore."

"Fuck," Jigen snarled, turning to hit a wall.  "This sucks!"

"Now you know how Mom felt for that year," Ishi said dryly.  "C'mon.  Let's head to Britain.  At the very least, he'll be able to help with something.  Melissa, find us a hotel room for the night.  We'll leave tomorrow discreetly."  She nodded and he led the way out, going to take the last bus.  They'd need to be checked over anyway.  Vecchio followed.  "Do you ever wish for the simpler existence you used to have before you found out about us?" he asked as they walked.

"Yeah, quite a few nights," Vecchio admitted.  "But I like you guys.  You didn't kill me yet."

"Recently," Melissa amended. "But if Mom retires he said he's going to cap you in the butt or something so you can't chase us kids.  He said he'd be nice about it though."

"That's not a shock," Vecchio admitted.  "Kowalski said much the same thing."   He got them on and nodded for the driver to go.  "Ladies, in case you hadn't been told we're taking you to a hospital first.  You'll be examined, you may be given antibiotics if necessary.  If you're kept, we'll be putting a guard on your rooms, female guards if possible.  If there are male guards, they will stay outside your room and the nurses will be aware that you are kidnaping victims but nothing else unless you tell them.  For your privacy, we're giving you fake names if you have to stay.  Then we're taking you to a local police academy's dorms. They're safe, they're secure, and they've got good facilities for the counselors and others to come in.  For those of you who have families, we'll be taking that information at the hospital and calling them for you.  We will say that you were kidnaping victims and that you're going to need counseling.  If possible, we'll set you up with someone locally.  If you don't have families then we'll figure something out in a few weeks, when you're well enough to move on.  There's a group that works with rescued victims like you are and we're in discussion with them about any further steps that need to be taken.  So please, let us get you checked over without too much fuss and we'll do what we can to help you."  They all nodded.  "It's better to know in advance than to worry about it later," he said prosaically.  "If it were my sister, I'd want to know she was all right first and then worry about bringing her home."  They nodded and looked out the windows, some of them curled up in their seats.  He looked at the two new women and shrugged.  "I heard you two just got there.  Do you need that sort of assistance?"

"Just in case," Jigen agreed.  "We were drugged."

"I'd think you could tell," Melissa noted.

"Not necessarily," Lotus argued.  "So they're going to do the same thing, just in case.  That way they can also screen for the drugs they were given and all that good shit."

"Fine," Melissa agreed, letting her have this one.  "We've got rooms in town."

"Fine," Vecchio agreed. "You guys probably know a bit about this stuff by now.  I trust you to handle this one on your own and to leave before Zenigata gets here in the morning."  He looked at Lupin, then at Jigen.  "He wanted pictures."

"He can bite me," Lupin said grimly, slinking down in her seat.  "This sucks."

"Badly," Jigen agreed.

"Could be worse, you could be our ages and doing this," Melissa said dryly. "You're obviously not teenagers."

"Point," Jigen agreed.  If they had been, they probably would have been touched by now.   "We saw Xan.  He popped in a while back."

"We're brining you to his house.  Lupin the Fourth will meet us there with Uncle G.   We'll helicopter in from the airport.  It'll be safer.  At least until we're all together again."

"We need to stop at Ethan's," Lupin announced.

"Fat chance.  We called him earlier and he hung up on us," Lotus told him.  He glared at her.  "Literally.  So he's not getting in the middle of this one.  Fortunately, Arsene's altar is set up."

"Fine.  And the bitch?" Jigen asked.

"Dead when Daddy and Arsene find her," Ishi snorted.  "That's their next move."

"We might need her."

"Nope, not even," Ishi said dryly.  "Only Janus can remove those if the guys who did it are dead.  You know that."  He stared them down.  "We've got it.  Relax and contemplate.  It's got to be odd."  He shifted in his seat, looking out the window.  "This is a nice place.  We should find a hideout here."

"We've got one up the coast," Lupin assured him.   "It's presently knocked down from the last bout of hurricanes however."

"That's fine, I got us a suite," Melissa promised.  "We'll do minor shopping tonight before we leave tomorrow."  They nodded.  "Good.  Sit and relax.  The rest of the day won't be that pleasant in the ER."  They pulled up behind the other busses in front of the hospital and she skipped down the stairs first, helping the women down.  Ishi and Vecchio brought up the rear, pushing Lupin and Jigen inside.  They were shown to a closed off area, with only female nurses and doctors.  The staff was very efficient and careful when they did exams and took blood, and soon the two crooks were released into their family's care, letting them escape to a taxi and back to their hotel.

***

Xander looked up as his butler walked in with his cocoa, grinning at him.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome, sir.  We've just got a call that some of the children are coming in via helicopter from the local airport with some guests.  Should I make up their rooms?"

"Please, and leave Arsene's altar alone this time."  He nodded and headed off, leaving Xander to sit with his leg propped up.  He heard the 'thump-thump' of the rotors and got up, grabbing his crutches to hobble outside.  He grinned at the kids.  "We've got to talk," he told Melissa, staring at the women.  "Who are they?"

"That's Daddy and Uncle Lupin," she said grimly. "Notice the things around their necks.  Rooms?  It's been a long day."

"The usual," he said with a frown, watching as they walked past.  "Melissa, get them some things from my closet in the master bedroom.  Then come back down.  We've got to talk, daughter."

"Yes, sir."  She walked them up to their usual rooms, letting them settle in front of the altar to pray their hearts out for the chokers to be removed.  Then she came back down.  "Does this have something to do with the email apology I got from Brad?"

"Yup, sure does.  He was interning with them.  He tried to jump me, I blindly shot him," he admitted bitterly.  "He apologized then."

"Then we're probably through," she admitted, giving him a hug. "It'll be odd, but you're going to help us, right?"

"Of course," he sighed.  "Alan's presently away anyway."

"Thanks, mom.  They're both feeling nasty and odd.  They had exams last night to make sure they were fine.  I settled them in front of Arsene's statue to pray for the chokers to come off."

"The guys who put it on them?"

"Died at the airport after handing them over."

"Shit."

"Basically," she sighed, shaking her head.  "Uncle G and Arsene went after the demonic bitch.  I'm sure they're going to leave you a small piece.  Other than that, we're not sure what to do except fall back and regroup."

"Training," he said grimly.  "We'll have to hit another hideout for that.  I won't have that here, I promised."  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Figure out what they need most and we'll figure out which house to head to."

"Yes, sir."  She grinned at them.  "Maybe they'll change their minds."

"I don't want them back, honey.  Lupin's used too many turns.  He got kicked out of the game for cheating," he said simply.  "Your dad won't put up with me and he refused to still like me.  I gave up.  I'll help but I'm not coming back."  He went back to his chair and pillows, getting comfortable again while he read.  The others could start things without him.  Lotus and Melissa could teach them how to be girls just as well as he could.  They were actual girls, something he didn't have when he was learning.

***

A few days later, Jigen walked down to where Xander was lounging with his leg again up on top of a pile of pillows.  "Why is it that we helped you so damn much and you haven't even come to help us a bit?" he demanded.

"Because you guys have something I didn't to help you, real women."  He gave her a long look, making her shiver.  "What do you think I can help you with what the girls can't?  They've been through all that girl stuff since the day of their births.  They're good at the girl stuff, whereas I made due and improvised most of the time.  Besides, Jigen, don't you remember most of it from last time?"  He blushed.  "Hmm.  I see.  And where might the other one be?"

"He might be in the baths and probably will still be sulking in there at dinner time."

"He's going to have to get used to it.  If there's no one to release you but Janus, you're going to have to beg and plead.  He's not happy with this family from what Marcus said."  He shrugged.  "I have not a clue why."

"Still, you could be helping."

"I could also be killing my back on my crutches."  Jigen groaned, rubbing his face.  "You just smeared your lipstick."  He held out the box of tissues.  "Blot more next time, Jigen."  He blinked up at the angry face. "What?" he asked patiently.  "I speak from experience there."

"You could come help."

"I could, you're right.  And if I do, then we're playing into Janus' hands.  Have we thought *why* he had another high priest torture you guys?"

"So you'd take Lupin back?" he asked grimly.

"I'm figuring that one for a yes, but that's okay.  They want me to be happy and I'm happy enough as is.  So therefore I'm giving you the benefits I never had, you've got real girls to teach you how to be girly.  They've got all the benefits of years of teaching them how to be girls and how to walk in heels and how to shoot around having breasts.  Therefore they'd be better at it.  You've got better teachers than I had, but if you want to practice dancing I'll gladly help," he said sweetly.  "Otherwise you'd have to ask Ishi.  You'll have to wait until I'm allowed to stand for longer than it takes for me to go to the bathroom," he sighed, "but I'm sure you can."

"Yeah, whatever."  He stomped out, going to report to Lupin.

"Sorry, but the truth sucks this time," he called after her.

***

Xander briefly stood up as the women walked in.  Then he flopped back down and rubbed his new knee.  "Sorry, I need my drugs.  We ready to eat?"

"Not yet," Lupin said, taking her usual seat next to Xander.  "Are you feeling okay?"

"I ran out of pain pills earlier and the doctor said I can't have more.  So no, I'm vaguely homicidal at the moment."  Lupin gave him a long look.  "I managed to screw up my knee badly enough to have to have it replaced.  They had to cut one side of the joint off and replace it with a metal substitute.  My leg aches so much that I'm going to kill someone soon if I don't get pain killers, which I can't have because I might get hooked.  How are you dealing in your first week as a woman?"

"About as well as you are with your new knee," Lupin said bitterly.  "Why are you letting the girls do all the work?"

"Because they're girls.  They know what girls should be and what they should do.  They've been girls all their lives.  They've practiced being girls.  That's their jobs.  They're good at it, unlike me who was playing at it.  They're the experts in being girls.  Therefore you're getting the best trainers known to mankind, real women."

"We still helped you."

"You did, and you've got all that stuff down so they're doing the refining stuff that it took me *years* to figure out, Lupin," Xander said patiently.  "Thinks like how not to adjust yourself into agony inside a bra.  Speaking of which, you need one."

"They're uncomfortable," he said dryly.

"No, really?" Xander asked in his most sarcastic voice.  "Who would have thought. A bra, being uncomfortable."  The girls snickered along with him.  "Welcome to womanhood, Lupin and Jigen.  It's nice to have you on our side.  Now, when you've finally gotten past the bra thing and do what we do, which is not buy underwire, then we'll work on why you don't want to wear a thong."  Jigen got up and stormed out.   "Sorry, but it's the truth."  He glared at Lupin again when he noticed the dirty look.  "I'm giving you everything I can, Lupin.  You've got the best trainers in the world and the other one coming.  I'm not in any shape to help you.  As a matter of fact, I'm leaving for the house in Mexico tomorrow to work on something down there for my new knee and the new life that's going to end up coming sooner or later.  The girls have promised to help you guys.  All of them, even Arsene when I told her.  She's really excited that she's going to help you by giving you the same lessons you used to give her and 'Lis.  You're in better hands than mine and you're complaining because I gave you the best.  That's not my fault.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a dealer and get something like demerol."  He grabbed his crutches and hopped out of the dining room, heading for the garage.

"You can't drive like that," Jigen said from the doorway, watching him hop along.

"Yes I can and yes I have."

"No, you can't."  She walked out and took the keys.  "I'm sorry.  It's not our fault but I'm sorry we're bringing back bad memories, Xander.  If you want, we'll take the girls home."

"You're probably going to have to since I'm going to Mexico in a few days," he agreed.  "I've got stuff I've got to finish and I'm on a deadline with it.  So I won't be back for a few weeks and being this close to Ethan will probably get you guys into more trouble."  He took his keys back.  "I'm going to find someone to get some pain killers before I snap again.  I'll be back tonight."  He hopped off, heading for his car, which was an automatic and wouldn't give him too many problems.  He backed out slowly, having to turn to get away from Jigen.  "I'm fine."

"You're not fine.  You're in pain."

"I drove out of Maine while I was shot in the arm.  This hurts less."  He checked the cameras and beeped, making the cat behind him jump and glare but it did move.  So he finished backing out and headed off into the dusk, hoping that the contact in town would have *something*.  If not, he'd have to pop into one of the hideouts to find some real drugs.  Which sucked majorly.  Every time he did that, someone was in there and wanted his opinion on something.  Most recently it'd been Ray.  He noticed the cops were out tonight and sighed, calling the house when he saw one in SWAT gear.  "Guys, the locals have on riot gear.  Be careful."  He hung up and decided to go to the pub, or at least park in the pub.  He disappeared from there, heading to the nearest cupboard of a hideout, finding Ray K in there.  "Drugs?" he asked.  The usual cabinet was pointed at.  "Thanks for not moving them."

"There's only legal stuff in there."

"I got those prescriptions fairly," he said patiently.

"Sure you did."

Xander grabbed him by the throat and pulled him up, getting in his face.  "Have you ever had a portion of your bone sawed off and then had a metal spike driven into it, along with a fake end that's just not quite right?"  Ray swallowed.  "I'm in fucking pain and if you touched my painkillers I'm going to paddle your ass then hand you to someone meaner, like the pissy women at my house.  Now, where are my drugs so I quit hurting?"

"Bathroom," he squeaked.  Xander let him go and hobbled that way.  "No crutches?"

"In the car."  He slammed the door and found his favorite drugs, taking a few of them to ease the ache in his leg.  Maybe on the way to Mexico he'd stop in and see that other guy.  It'd be a nice thing to have someone else look at it.  It was still rubbing painfully. He came out and Ray gave him a hurt look.  "Yay.  I'm in pain and you were between me and my drugs."  He pocketed the pill bottle.  "Needed something?"

"I'm meeting Bix here tonight."

"Fine.  Wonderful.  I don't care.  Quit moving things around and use the condoms if you get that far.  I'm going to Mexico soon if you needed a vacation."  He disappeared, heading back to the pub, coming in through the back door.  He grinned at the bartender.  "I disappear for a minute and my car's been touched.  Who might have been in it?"

"One of the cops was wondering why your crutches were in there and you weren't."

"I'm stubborn," he admitted, handing over the rent to the storage space he rented.  "Ask my kids if you don't believe me."  He hopped back out, going back to the house.  He pulled back in slowly and parked, noticing the lights were off.  "Whatever," he decided.  He got out and hopped inside, heading up to his bedroom.  He found everyone either gone or gone to bed, which was fine with him.  He slid into his bed, sighing in relief as he dropped the crutches off to the side.   He stretched out and winced as his knee straightened up, then sighed when someone's fingers went to work on the back of his aching thigh.  "Thanks, Lupin.  I'm still not breaking you in though."  He closed his eyes.  "Ray and Bix had a date at the supply closet."

"I heard," he admitted quietly.  "When's your checkup?"

"Next week, Thursday."  He yawned.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome.  I don't mind taking care of you, Xander."  She slid up next to him.  "Want to cuddle?  Jigen said you sounded really bitter and down earlier."

"I'm fine, I got painkillers from the supply closet.  Ray was even nice enough to clean."  He yawned again.  "You should go to bed, you've got another long day tomorrow. Especially if you're wanting to dress up again. Then the girls can take you shopping."  He snuggled in.  "Have a nice night, Lupin.  Sweet dreams."

"You too, Xan," he whispered, laying down behind him.

"In your own room, Lupin.  We're not together anymore and I'm not cheating on my guy."

"Fine.  Even though I heard you broke up."

"Since when?"

"Since you freaked him out by teleporting," Lupin said dryly.  "Or isn't that why he accepted that gig in Australia?"

"No, he had that planned before then," he said through another yawn.  "Nice try though.  Go to bed, in your own bed."

"Fine."  She slid out and headed back to her room, going to her big, lonely bed.  Xander never used to be able to send him away.  He laid down, curled up around his pillow, sulking greatly.  He heard his daughter come in and padded down the stairs.  "You okay?" he asked.

"Dad?" she squeaked, looking him over.  "Damn it, you're not a thing like me!  How dare they make you something other than a Lupin!"

"Maybe that's the problem, I don't look like myself," he said bitterly, giving her a hug.  "I'm sorry, princess.  We're working on it."

"I know, daddy.  I'll help too.  We're all hoping to get this fixed soon. You look odd as a girl.  How's Mom's knee?"

"In pain.  He's a cranky bitch today."  He looked over at Goemon, who shivered.  "Don't even think about it," he warned.

"I was not, simply thanking my chosen deity and ancestors that it was not me."  He headed up to his room.  "Is everyone else in bed?"

"Yeah, when Xander left to find medicine we all broke up early and went to our rooms."  He hugged his daughter again.  "I miss doing this."

"Just think, dad, you can have another one yourself now," she teased, grinning up at him.  Her father whimpered and shook his head, going back up to his room nearly in tears.  "Sorry, I was only teasing."

"I hate women!"  He slammed his door.

"Uh-huh.  Maybe this had a point after all," she said wisely, going up to her room and altar, going to bug Janus some more to fix this before she got a complex.  "Please, God Janus, I don't want to end up insane with gender issues," she whispered.  "If you could just fix them a bit?  Like take off the necklace?  Please?" she pleaded.  "It's not like we don't honor you and do your bidding all the time.  I even stop bad things from happening for you."  She didn't feel like she got an answer so she got up and went to bed, climbing in naked, like usual.

***

Xander got up the next morning in extreme pain.  He couldn't even move he was in so much pain.  "That's it," he moaned.  "I've had enough."  He groped his bedside table, finding the phone since the pills were on the other side of the room.  So he called downstairs.  "Can one of you please bring me some juice and get me my pills?  I can't move," he whispered.  "Thank you."  He hung up and laid there panting as the pain washed over him.  "Why didn't I just have him cut it off?"

"Because that would have made it worse," Jigen said as he walked in with a glass of juice.  He grabbed the pill bottle and handed it over, helping Xander sit up to take a few.  He checked the dosage on the bottle and gave him a long look.  "Double dosage?"

"Have to.  It's aching like you wouldn't believe.  Thanks, Jigen."  He ran a hand over his hair to smooth it down, then looked at the woman next to him.  "How was your night?"

"Lonely.  I thought most of it."

"At least you can catch a nap today."   He swung his feet around, looking down at his knee.  "This sucks.  I'm going back for a checkup."

"Sure.  Want helped into the bathroom?"

"No, just hand me the crutches, I'll be okay.  These work faster."  Jigen handed them over and watched as Xander stood up, steadying himself before hopping into the bathroom. "Thanks, Jigen.  I'll see you at breakfast."

"Sure, Xan."  He walked out shaking his head.  That was not normal.  He found Ishi in the hallways.  "You're going to be taking him somewhere later.  He's not to drive, kid."

"Yes, Auntie.  The doctor's or the hospital?"

"Whichever one he wants and don't call me that, kid."

Ishi looked at him.  "You made him assume a female name as soon as she started her training.  It is only correct that you have one as well."

"I'm not training myself like this.  I'll fricken retire first."  He headed down to the kitchen, where half of them were awake.  "Ishi just called me Auntie."

"Well, we are in female form," Melissa noted dryly.  "We did do the same thing to Mom as well."  She pushed a plate in front of him then sat down with hers.  "Eat, you'll need it.  We've got range practice today, daddy."

"Thanks, kid."  He listlessly ate.  "Xander wanted to do this."

"No, he was desperate to prove himself," Arsene reminded him.  "He was proving his worth and finding his place in the group.  That's all that was, Jigen."  She looked over at him, giving him the same look her father did when he was mid-plan.  "Where is Mom?"

"In the shower."

"The other mother, Auntie Jigen."

"Don't call me that!"

"Dad, chill," Melissa warned.  "Arsene!"

She put down her book and looked at them.  "Listen, the only person who can take those off is Janus. It's not like we can resurrect the people who put them in the things.  I'm not even sure if they can change their forms or not.  They know this.  I'm facing reality.  Janus won't answer me.  Ethan's majorly pissed at us all for some reason.  Mom's not going to be helping with this one because this brings back nasty memories for her too.  So either we figure out if those imbeciles had children or they're going to have to get used to it.  Those appear to be the only two options.  Or do you see anything, Melissa?"

"No," she admitted quietly.  "I don't.  Lotus doesn't either."  She looked over as Goemon came in the back door.  "Do you think slicing it off would work?"

"Losing a stone nearly kept the spell in place permanently in the past," Goemon said quietly.  He looked at Jigen.  "I could try but that would probably react the same way and we would not be able to recreate it."

"No, don't even think about it," Lupin said as she walked in.  "We've got enough problems with this as is, Goemon.  Don't curse us to an eternity as ugly women."

"You're not ugly, mom.  You're not a supermodel, but you're not ugly," Arsene assured her.  "They did a better job than when you put Uncle Jigen in the choker for that job."

"Point," he said grimly, sitting down at the bar.  "It still sucks though."

"Of course it does," Melissa soothed, giving her a hug.  "You didn't want to be a woman so of course it sucks to be you right now.  With some gentle instruction you'll be able to pass in no time.  Then you can go back to pulling jobs."

"Not a chance.  I'd ruin my own rep," Lupin said grimly.  "I'd almost rather drop off the face of the earth in mystery.  At least no one will laugh at us."

"We're not laughing, mom," Arsene promised.  "It's odd and icky being a girl.  We can tell you both all about the ickiness of being a girl and getting girl issues and all that stuff.  By the way, you might want to adjust the bra before you end up in pain."

"For having taken so many off, I suck at putting them on," Lupin said glumly, adjusting himself.  He saw the butler pause at the doorway and give him a funny look.  "It's not like I planned on being a girl."

"No, you probably did not.  We do have a room set up with exercise equipment if you think it would help, including a balance beam for some reason."

"Not yet," Melissa told him.  "That's a later lesson, when they've come to terms with it and started to work on grace and things.  Thank you though."  He nodded.  "Mom's up but in a lot of pain."

"He just left by himself."

"I told Ishi to take him."

"He's presently pouting," the butler told him.  "Who cleans the litterboxes?"

"I do today," Arsene told him.  "If you'd show me where they are after breakfast?"  He nodded, moving to get some more coffee.  "I made it so it's a bit strong," she warned.

"I'll add milk.  Thank you for the warning, young lady."

"That's right.  Mom probably didn't introduce us.  I'm Arsene.  That's Melissa.  The pouting one is Ishi and his sister's Lotus."

"Thank you, ma'am.  M'lady," he said, nodding at Melissa, making her giggle.  "There is the title."

"I'm not the sort to do the society things," she admitted. "I'm more the mad inventor of the family.  There's no hope of a society wedding or anything like that with me.  Only if Arsene gets married."

"Very well, I shan't plan for one then," he said with good humor.  "If you need anything I'll be straightening up the study since Xander said he might not be back today.  Do give us more than a few minute's warning next time, m'lady.  We nearly didn't have your rooms ready in time."

"Sorry.  Next time I'll call before we get to Heathrow."  He nodded that was acceptable then left them alone.  "Wow.  Usually I only get that from the planning teacher and most of his respect is sarcasm."

"Tell me about it," Arsene snorted.  "Putz of the teaching staff at the Academy and he likes you."

"Take that back!"

Arsene grinned. "He does!  He watches your ass all the time!"  Melissa picked up a clean plate and hit her on the top of the head with it, fortunately not breaking it.  "Brat!"

"Girls!" Lupin snapped. They settled down, Melissa putting the plate in the sink so she could clean it later.  "Thank you.  Get me some more coffee, 'Lis."  He held up his cup, smirking as she filled it.  "You could always retire to create here."

"I'd be bored. There's not even a theater close by, mom."  She sat down and went back to eating.  "When do we head back?"

"Next week," Jigen said grimly.

Arsene grabbed her head and groaned.  "Fucking A," she moaned.  "Someone call Mom.  Her doctor's working with the Watchers.  They want to capture him to torture him for what Ethan made."  No one moved. "Now, people!"

Melissa grabbed the phone and hit the button marked 'carphone', getting her father.  "It's us.  Your doctor's going to turn you over to the Watchers.  No, they want to know what Ethan made to make you younger.  They're thinking about using it on some of the girls.  Nope, torture, the usual.  No, Arsene did.  Sure.  Which hospital?"  She smirked at Arsene.  "Sure, mom.  We'll come visit."  She hung up.  "He's going to Cleveland to see that other guy."

"He's working with them too," Arsene complained, calling him back. "Not him either. Go somewhere else.  Somewhere brand new to you.  Because we don't have time to pull a rescue before we've got to go back to the Academy and Mom and Auntie aren't in any shape to do that yet."  He said something quietly.  "But..."  She sighed at his reasoning.  "Fine.  Sorry."  She hung up.  "I'm sorry, he said not to call you by girly names yet, that you're not ready."

"I'm not," Jigen agreed.  "Thank him the next time you see him."

"He said he's heading for LA," Arsene offered gently, patting him on the arm.   "That way he can work on his new idea too."

"What new idea?" Lupin asked, sounding glum now.

"He's gotten an idea from one of his fantasy novels.  Something about plastic wizardry," Melissa said with a shrug.  "Replacement parts on demand via a magical exchange."

"Well, physics would work in their favor," Lupin admitted dryly.  "Just ask and get a great set of tits?"

"Basically," Lupin the Fourth agreed with a smirk.  "Think of all the havoc and chaos that could create if Mom could pull it off, and what sort of social climbing that demon could do."

"He's working with a demon?" Jigen asked.

"A wish demon.  I saw it in my vision," Lotus offered as she walked in.  "Ishi's taken the motorcycle with Father's permission and gone after Mother."

"Which mother?" Lupin asked calmly.

"Hopefully the one about to be taken by the Watchers.  He said he'd meet us back at the school and he'd call the Headmistress since he might be a day late."  She slid into a free seat.  "What's for breakfast?"

"I made eggs and toast," Melissa told her.

"That's very culinary of you," Lupin the Fourth teased.  "You really did learn from the Practical Education classes."  Melissa shoved her off her stool, sneering at her.  "Hey!"

"Girls," Jigen said quietly, making them stop.  "We need to go shopping, I don't have anything clean to wear and nothing in Xan's closet fits," he told Lupin.

"Fortunately I've already called Auntie Money Lady and she's made up a new identity for you guys," Arsene offered, nodding at the envelope on the counter.  "Drivers Licenses and all."

Lupin got up to get them, looking through them.  "Hey, I've got a Lupin Gold card.  I've always wanted one of those," he said happily.

"Why did you start your own credit card company?" Melissa asked.

"Really good profits."  He handed Jigen hers and sat down to look at his pictures.  "Where did they get it from?"

"Vecchio."

"Can we shoot him?  I look rotten," Lupin sighed, putting them into her pocket.  He sighed as he looked at his daughter.  "I guess you're the official Lupin in the family, Arsene.  Since I'm clearly not me."

"It'll be okay, mom.  We can deal with it," Arsene promised.  "And the first time someone laughs, I'll kick their asses for you.  It's what we butch women do for the more delicate ones," she said with a smirk.  Jigen reached over and smacked her again.  "Hey!  Melissa!"

"Quit, brat," she growled.  "I've had enough."

"Fine," she said, pouting at them. "I'll try to behave."  She looked at the parents and shrugged.  "What did you expect?"

"Nothing less," Jigen the elder admitted.   "You were destined for Janus from day one since you've always been a force of chaos."

"That's the nicest compliment I've gotten all summer," she said happily.  "Thank you."  She beamed at Melissa.  "See, I'm only following my nature."

"Fine, then follow it up the stairs to give your ears an enema to clean the shit out from between them," she said in her most sarcastic and mean voice.

"Bitch!"

"Cunt!"

"Lezi!"

"And?" she snorted.  "At least I'll be going after people who *know* how to pleasure a woman."

"I'm only going to go for men with skills," she whined.

"Kids!" Lupin snapped.

"Sorry," they muttered.

"Gods, I hope I don't need Midol like you two do."  He glared at them.  "Settle down."

"Yes, sir."

"Can I sic her on Brad for interning with the Golden Dragons?" Melissa asked.  Her father gave her a long look so she nodded.  "Mom shot him.  Claims it was accidental. I'm having a bout of VBS."

"VBS?" Jigen asked.

"Vindictive Bitch Syndrome," Arsene explained.  "Sure, which hospital is he in?"

"UCLA."

"Eh, then we'll sic Ishi on him," she said with a fond grin. "I'm sure he can make him miserable enough for you."

"Hopefully," she agreed dryly.  She hadn't thought of that.  Ishi was very good at making people miserable, he did it to them and Lotus all the time.

"I'll even call him to give him ideas," Lupin the Fourth offered.

"Sure.  I'm sure he'd like them.  He's not into thinking right now according to him.  He said he's tired of being smart."  Lotus snickered.  "Yeah, I know, but blame it on Mom.  She's the one who gave him the massive ego boost."

"He's smart in his areas," Lupin argued for his nephew.  "Just because he's not great in math doesn't make him dumb."

"Actually, Ishi's very smart, he's just not people smart," Jigen told her, grinning at her new aunt.

"If you say so," Arsene snorted.  "Okay, I'm off to clean kitty boxes.  You guys get ready and we'll go shopping."  They nodded and headed to do their things if they were done with breakfast.

***

Xander looked at the wish demon who he was working with.  "Any chance I can be first?" he sighed.

"Probably.  What's wrong now?"

"My knees, still.  The doctor said that they were fine, it wasn't fully healed yet.  That's why I was aching so much."  He shifted, putting his sore leg back up.  "He said it'd stop soon."

"It's been a few weeks," she agreed.  "Sometimes it can take up to a month to heal.  Unfortunately if I undid the damage, I'd have to go too far back and that means you'd forget the kids and all that stuff," she offered.  He shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"Yeah, I don't need that sort of stress in my life.   Just whenever we get it fixed, I'll have mine switched out for a working set of knees."  He popped his right shoulder.  "That can wait for a few years," he said at her look.  "Is it working?"

"Nearly.  We've got the interface working but we're working on training the imp inside.  So it'll probably be within a week or so."  She gave him a sly look.  "Now if only we could get some doses of Ethan's elixir it'd make us tons."

"It would," Xander agreed dryly.  "He's still angry at me though."

"I think Janus has been giving him a headache."

"Probably," Xander agreed bitterly, shifting off to the side.  "I ache."

"I'm sure you do.  Have you taken your medicine?"

"He thought I didn't need any more either."  She snorted.  "So I've got my stash of demoral at the moment."  He patted his pocket. "I'm holding off taking them for as long as I can so I don't run out."

"Take a minor dose, it'll be fine, Xander."

"Fine."  He took one of the pills, gulping the rest of his soda.  "Do we have a space set up?"  She nodded, grinning at him.  "Does it look clinical?"

"It does," she admitted.  "I'm still working on how we're doing references and the book of before and after."

"Use some succuba.  Have them change forms and do a before, then an after."

"Good idea."  She grinned at him.  He was very good.  "How long do you think we're going to stay set up?"

He shrugged.  "How long do you want to do this?"

"I guess that depends on the profits."  She looked over as an imp appeared.  "Is everything ready?"  He nodded.  "Including the interface?"

"We've got everything set up using copies of the former soul's attributes.  They're set up as real flesh. All you have to do is do a replacement."

"Thank you.  Take our Lord and Master back there so I can show him."  He nodded and took Xander with him, coming back for his crutches, then disappearing again.  She stood up and sent a silent prayer to their Dark Lord that this would work.  It was a daring plan.  She sent herself to her new office, looking around.  "It looks rather plain, but fairly clinical and not too down-to-earth."  She headed into the back rooms, noticing where Xander was.  There was a room decorated in a garden motif and the demon had put him in there.  She walked in with the special blanket that would help her with the replacement, laying it across his lap.  "Now, let's work on this, Xander."

"I wish I had working knees, ones that didn't ache," he sighed, looking down.  The blanket glowed briefly then faded.  He stretched and grinned. "Wow."

She looked at his knees, then grimaced. "Those won't stand up to it.  Imp!"  It appeared, so she pointed at his knees. "Look at that."

He felt Xander's knees, making him shudder.  "Sorry," he said quietly.  He nodded his head.  "I see the problem and we can fix them.  Transfer them back and I'll have them fixed."  She replaced the blanket and undid the transfer, letting him go fix it.

"He'll be right back, Xander."

"That's fine, as long as they're done soon.  I hate being in pain."

"I would too," she agreed. "That's one of the reasons I took the job when they offered it.  Why don't you nap and we'll see what we can do to fix them for you."  He nodded and laid back, getting comfortable on the table.  She covered him with a normal blanket and headed to work with the imp.  They had to get this working.  Disappointing Xander would be a bad thing.

A glowing body floated down, coming over to stroke Xander's cheek.  "Why do you not ask?" he whispered.  "I would do the same."

Xander looked at him.  "Because you're being an asshole to my family."

"I did it so you would be happier."

"Janus, we're through.  There's no more Lupin and Xander."

"There is if you would consider it," he offered, stroking his cheek again.  "You consider it.  They will understand more this time.  I will let them change form back, it is all I can do."  He stroked over Xander's knees, making them tingle.  "That is all I can undo."

"Which gives me how long?"

"Another year perhaps.  We will help this demon you have chosen.  It is extremely powerful for all of us.  Be well, Xander, and don't forget your project for Bastian."  He faded out.

Xander stood up, only wincing a bit when his knees ground and popped.  "Ow.  But not as bad."  He grabbed his crutches and headed back out to his car, leaving a note on the front desk that he'd be in Mexico.   He never counted on the people who were waiting to snatch him from his car.

***

Melissa looked up as her lunch dates showed up, grinning at them.  "Hey, guys.  How's things, Bastian and Homer?"

"Not great," Bastian admitted.  "We haven't heard from Xander in a few weeks and he's due to give us something tomorrow.  Where is he?"

Melissa took another drink of her soda while she shrugged.  "He said he was going to Mexico after seeing someone about his knees."

"We've checked with his security company.  No one has been in the house in Mexico," Homer said quietly.

"Well, shit," she sighed, putting down her drink.  "Are there plans?"  They nodded.  "Then I could probably finish it for him.  Are they there or has he got them on the computer or what?"

"No, they're down there.  He swore it only needed a few more hours of work and some testing," Bastian offered.

"Hey, then get me down there and I'll work on it before I've got to go back to school.  Fortunately we had Ishi tailing Mom."  She grimaced and pulled out her phone, calling Arsene.  "Hey, it's me.  Mom never showed up in Mexico.  Call Ishi to see why.  I'm heading down there to finish the stuff for Bastian and Homer.  Yeah, tell her I'll be late."  She hung up.  "Okay, do we have travel arrangements?"  They nodded.  "Then let's go.  I've got a bag in the car."  She grinned at them.  "Another important Mom lesson."

"Thank you, Melissa.  You are being of great help," Homer told her.

"It's not a problem.  I like you guys.  Any idea where Mom actually is?"

"The last we heard was LA," Bastian said grimly.

"So was Ishi so we'll figure it out," Melissa promised. "Let's go.  I'll even drive."  They shook their heads.  "I'm a good driver."

"No thanks.  Young drivers worry us," Bastian said with a grin.  "C'mon."  They led her outside, letting her pay her bill and get her bag from the car, then taking her to theirs and taking off.  It wasn't that long of a trip to Mexico.  The mini-laser might even get done on time.

***

A few days later, Ishi walked into the school's courtyard, looking around with a nod.  Nothing had really changed much, for all that he felt different.  He bowed to his sword teacher when he saw him coming toward him.  "My mother is now free from burdens."

"What happened?" he asked grimly.

"She accused Mom of being dark and doing evil to the guardians in LA.  Some of them are gone as well.  The main ones, including the former thief he trained with, are still there but the vampires are no more.  Nor is the one they call Wesley."  He smirked.  "Mom's fine too."

"Good.  Go up to your room.  You've got the same one.  Same bed too."

"Thank you.  I'll see you later."  He headed that way.  "Did the girls get my clothes?"

"No and Melissa's not back yet either," the teacher called.  "You can go do that this weekend."

"Fine, thank you."  Ishi went up to check in with the dorm monitor and the Headmistress to get his schedule, then went to unpack the backpack he had on him.  He sent most of it into the wash since it had blood and ashes on it.  Then he laid down to take a nap, sure no one would *dare* touch the motorcycle.  Someone tapped on his door.  "I'm resting!"

Wyatt stuck his head in.  "Lupin the Fourth said to call her when you got in, Ishi.  She's not a happy woman today over her crew being split."

"Fuck her.  I had to rescue mom from vampires."  He waved a hand.  "I'll see her at dinner."

"Fine, I'll pass that back.  Melissa just showed up too and Lupin jumped up and started to scream, fair warning."  He closed the door gently and locked it from the other side for him, making Ishi smirk.

"Good job," he muttered, flipping onto his side so he could take a nap.  It had been a long flight from LA.

***

Lupin the Fourth looked at her siblings, scowling at them.  "Where the fuck were you!"

"Saving Mom," Ishi said dryly.

"Doing the project that Bastian needed for a summit," Melissa said with a shrug.  "What happened?"

"Fujiko turned him in to Wesley for making dark deals," Ishi said dryly, smirking at her.  "That got Angel to kidnap him so they could try to reprogram him and turn him back into a good guy.  They had him drugged really well, he didn't feel his knees at all."

"Wonderful.  Anyone we need to worry about coming back?"

"No, not Wesley or Angel," he said smugly.

"The maternal giver?" Lotus asked quietly from the corner.

"Also not an issue.  She's in an uncomfortable position," he said, smirking at her.  "Did you know that there are glass coffins under the harbor in LA?"  She shook her head but she was smirking.  He nodded.  "There are.  They even have air pumps and things."

"Good."   She looked at Melissa.  "The project?"

"Flawless.  They used their backup time.  We finally figured out that Mom had been kidnaped again so they're not too upset with him."

"They shouldn't be at all.  I found Bastian and gave him Mom," Ishi offered.  "Any news on the chokers?"

"They're able to get back to their usual forms but the thing reverts back to female form at least once a week," Arsene said bitterly.  "It's the most Janus was willing to do for them."

"Then I guess he's mad at their breakup too," Melissa said with a shrug.  "Are they enjoying it?"

"Not really.  Daddy is still really depressed about this.   Even though he knows it's his own fault.  He's kicking his ass over this majorly."  She sighed.  "The only worse thing he could do would be to turn them all back into teenagers and have us watch them."

"Don't say that, he might," Lotus warned dryly.

"No, because that won't help Mom's knees at all," Ishi reminded her.  "How's the plastic wizardry going?"

"They've finally got it worked out for fleshy parts, like noses and breasts.  They can't do something solid like joints yet.  Ethan was talked into giving the demon some of the youth potion and he's getting a ten percent profit.  Since they're in Hollywood...." she broke off with a grin.  "Let's just say he's retired and comfortably off."  Lotus smirked at him.  "You know, that anti-aging stuff isn't such a bad idea.  That would help Uncles Lupin and Jigen a lot."

"Then we'd have to watch over them," Arsene reminded her.  "Plus, Uncle Goemon would hate being their parent."  She shrieked and grabbed her head.  "Quit doing that!" she growled.  "At least give me some warning so I can sit down!"  She looked at Lotus.  "Wish granted," she said dryly.  "But they're girls more often."

She shrugged. "It'll teach them.  They'll be happy again or else."

"It's the or else that's the problem," Melissa said thoughtfully.  "We should warn them."

"Too late," Ishi snorted.  "I'm doubting that it hasn't already happened.  Hopefully Mom's in the same form he was when he was twenty-two or so."

"Hopefully," Lotus agreed.  "Just after he was healed."

Melissa and Arsene shuddered, clutching each other.  "We need chocolate."

"That's okay, I didn't get to do any shopping," Ishi offered.  They smirked and headed out with him, taking the Fiat that Melissa was still working on.  It was a nice night for a road trip and they didn't have class the next day.

***

Jigen woke up, swatting at the alarm.  He realized something was off when the alarm went onto the floor, groaning and sitting up.  He touched his hair, making sure he hadn't changed during the night.  Nope, he still had his male hair.  He got up and headed into the bathroom, starting off his morning ritual.  He looked in the mirror and paused.

Then he screamed.

***

Lupin the Third woke up at the screaming, jumping out of bed and grabbing his gun to hurry to Jigen's room.  This was very bad!  Jigen didn't scream.  He had to pass by a mirror in the hallway and stopped, staring at himself.  He finally touched his face, expecting to feel a wrinkle, but it was smooth, stretchy, hard skin.  "Damn," he breathed, deciding to head for Xander's room.  He wasn't in right now but there was the statue of Janus in there.  Instead he found Xander sitting up on the bed, and his eyes very vacant.  "Thank you," he whispered, kneeling in front of him.  "How did you do it?"

"I did this because your children suggested it.  This is your last chance, Lupin the Third.  If you do not work things out and keep him happy, I will allow Alan to have him. If you work this out, you will stay this way and start over again from here this last time.  If you do not, you will revert and Xander will stay this way. My priest is more important to me and I have one to replace you now."  Lupin nodded.  "Tell the others when they become aware of this.   You have one month."  Then Xander passed out.

Lupin tucked him in and went to talk to Jigen first, calming him down.  This would take some good planning and they didn't have time to wait.

***

Xander woke up looking at Goemon, who looked a bit different.  "Did you do a chemical peel?"

"No, your God interfered at the insistence of the children," he said dryly.  "How do your knees feel?"

Xander slowly moved them, then grinned at him.  "They feel great," he said happily, starting to laugh.  He jumped up and hugged Goemon, then danced around his room.  "I feel wonderful!"

"Good.  There was a clause."  Xander stopped to look at him.  "If you do not take Lupin and Jigen back as true mates, then we will revert."

"That's not fair.  It's not your fault they're such screwups."

"No, it is not," Goemon agreed, "but I do not care about such things.  I can age gracefully.  They will not."  He looked at the boy.  "Therefore they wish to see you for breakfast.  I will be here for you when you need to talk, Xander."  He walked away, leaving him to his morning rituals.

Xander sat on the end of his bed and thought about it.  He finally looked at the statue.  "That was really mean to Goemon," he complained.

"It must be," one head told him.

"Decide based on what you know and who they are," the other reminded him.  "They may or may not change."

"Yeah, I know."  Xander got up and lit an incense stick, making both heads sneeze.  "I offered to switch but you said you liked this one."

"Move it back some, it's in our eyes," one of the heads complained.  Xander shifted it.  "Thank you."

"Go bathe and eat," the second head told him.  "You may not leave here for the next month."  Xander nodded and went to do that.

When he got downstairs, Lupin pulled his chair out for him, giving him a long look.  "Did Goemon talk to you?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  We thought it only fair."  He poured him some coffee and handed over the sugar and cream.  "Here.  Let's talk."

"Why?" Xander asked.

"Because we need to, Xander," Jigen reminded him.

"I want to work this out with you, Xan," Lupin offered.  "I want to spend this month talking and working things out."

"Why?" Xander asked again.

"Because seeing you happy with someone else is making me insane," Lupin said bitterly.  "I realize I feel about you like I did about Fujiko.  I feel a compulsion to have you."

"Then maybe you should have done things to keep me," Xander pointed out.  "It's not like it would have taken much.  A grunt in the mornings, a kiss now and then, a shag once a week."

"And I want you to know that we're going to change," Lupin promised.  "I'm sorry.  I'm a dumbass.  I've been a dumbass for a while, but watching you and Alan be happy is driving me fricken' insane."  He smirked.  "Not that it's so far to go."

"True and I'm sorry you were so far gone when I joined you," Xander said dryly.  "So, what are we doing this month?"

"First I thought I'd make sure you ate breakfast and that you're okay."

"I'm fine.  I've got my old body back so maybe I've got another ten years on my knees before they go bad again."  He drank his coffee.  "Muffins?"  Jigen handed them over.  "So, no more insinuations to have sex?"

"Not until we worked things out."

"Fine."  Xander broke open his muffin, buttering it slowly.   "So, who's the therapist of the moment?"

"No one.  We can do it without one," Jigen assured him.  "You and I are adults and Lupin tries very hard to act older than his daughter."  Lupin glared at him so he smirked.  Then he gave the same look to Xander.  "So, how is Alan in the sack?"

"I don't know, we haven't had sex yet.  He's not a whore and I don't sleep with people I intend to be with on the first few dates.  He does cuddle very well," he said smugly.  "And he's a wonderful kisser."

"Good, that's always a wonderful thing," Lupin agreed bitterly.  "I want to see you happy but with us, Xander."

"Then you should have paid attention to me," Xander reminded him.  "I'm not some ornament and I'll be damned if I'm going to pull a Fujiko to get your attention."

"That's a good thing," Jigen agreed dryly, handing over another muffin.  "Here, you need it.  You're always hungry."

"I'm not like that most of the time anymore.  I haven't had the constant nibbles in a few years."  He did eat it though.  "Did Ishi get to school okay?  I saw him while I was drugged up."

"I checked earlier.  He made it and the girls took off with him to get him clothes.  He didn't get a chance to shop."

"Who had you?" Lupin asked calmly.

"Angel and Wes.  They're no longer among the living if I remember right."  Xander considered back.  "I think Ishi sliced them pretty well.  Then again I thought I was hallucinating during that time."  He shrugged.  "We can call David later.  Or Marcus."

"Marcus!" Lupin snapped.  Marcus appeared, dressed in a dark suit and tie.  "Was it taken care of by Ishi?"

"He did kill Angel, my father, and severely injured Connor and Gunn."

"Poor Gunn.  How is he?"

"He'll heal.  Ishi only got him on the arm when he started to protest.  Apparently he heard about him and decided not to kill him."  Marcus smoothed down his lapels.  "Did we need more about this?  I'm heading for the funeral to laugh my arse off."

"No, go, as long as it was taken care of," Lupin assured him.

Marcus checked the collar.  "It's set to change you again every three days," he told him.

"You be careful and come back after the funeral."

"Sorry, but Ethan needs me at the moment," Marcus told him.  "Since we're not doing anything at the moment," he said with a smirk.

"Fine," Jigen agreed.

"I'll be doing something late next month if you want to help," Xander offered.  "I could use a lookout/distraction/second guy to heft things."

"Fine, Xander.  I'll see you in a month."  He concentrated and disappeared.

"What are you pulling?" Jigen asked.

"Just a switch and grab," Xander said with a grin.  "A pretty painting."

"Classical?"

"Nope, but pretty.  I'm thinking a present for the newlyweds and it's not something that Gramps will be called about."

"Good one, Xan," Lupin agreed, smiling at him.  "So, can we talk this afternoon?"

"Fine.  What was on the agenda?"

"Us," Lupin said patiently.  "I know I've got a lot of asskissing to do but we'll talk."

"Fine.  After I finish breakfast."

"Fine."  Lupin poured him some more coffee and then watched him.

"Go do something else," Xander ordered.  "Staring at me makes me nervous."  They took their coffee and headed off to the study.  Xander shook his head and finished his breakfast.  "You're insane, Janus.  Was it dealing with us that did it?" he muttered as he cleaned up after himself.  He felt a sense of peace steal over him while he did his dishes, making him calm and happy.  At least until he tried to walk past the study and a thin arm came out to drag him into it.  "Hi.  I can't go outside to get some fresh air first?"

"All the cars are presently broken," Lupin told him with a shrug.  "Ishi has your bike at school."

"Why?" Xander asked dryly.

"Because he brought it with him to LA and then back to Italy," Jigen explained.  "Melissa finished your project.  Bastian and Homer came to talk to her."

"I trust them with her."

"Not the point, they're rather upset with you," Jigen told him.  "I told him what had happened and he only rolled his eyes.  Apparently they're used to you."

"They should be.  I get stolen *how* many times a year?"

"Good point," Lupin agreed dryly.  "By the way, we'd like to stop that problem."

"So would I," Xander said, stretching out. He grinned.  "I don't ache.  I don't need my demerol today."

"Congrats."

"It's a wonderful thing," Lupin agreed happily.  "I hated seeing you in pain."  He reached over to pat Xander's knee, noticing he didn't flinch.  "It's always a good thing to see you feeling happy and well."

"Thanks."  Xander shifted and crossed his feet on the coffee table.  "Now what?"

"Now, we talk.  After I apologize.  I'm sorry I ignored you.  I suck, I have to admit I suck.  I'm sorry."

"Accepted, but not making me happier and not working yet."

"I know," Lupin agreed quickly.  "I don't expect it happen overnight. I want us to work things out though.  Not because I don't want to be old again, but I want us to work things out.  I'm miserable.  Jigen's miserable."  Jigen nodded.  "So let's talk."

"Fine, let's talk.  About what?"

"How about what we can do to fix this rift?" Jigen suggested.

"I'm still thinking it's too late for that," Xander told him.  "I'm moving on, guys.  I don't want to quit working with you, but I'm not going to do this again.  I do have some self esteem again and it's a wonderful thing.  Alan actually likes to listen to me babble."

"So our mistake was making you better when we first met?" Lupin asked bitterly.  Xander glared at him.  "I didn't mean it like that," he sighed.  "You know what I meant."  He looked at him.  "You usually know what I mean when I can't get it out right.  You know my mind better than anyone but my clones."

"Fred is exactly like you," Jigen said dryly.

"That's what I was hoping for, but not with the whole feeding thing," Lupin admitted.  "Not even *I* get away with that," he said with a small smirk.

"Not that you didn't try to do it all the time."

"Sorry.  Did it bother you?"

"Only when you tried in public."

"Sorry.  Any other faults I should work on?"

"If you change too much, you won't be Lupin," Xander said patiently.  "I don't want someone else, when I wanted you I wanted you to pay attention to me.  That wasn't a hard thing to do.  I'm not exactly a hard man to please.  Like I said, even a grunt in the mornings would have been fine. A quick snuggle and sex once a week would have been fine.  From either of you."

"I'm sorry, Xan.  I tried.  I'm still working on it.  I will fix it," Jigen promised.

"That would be nice."  Xander shifted again.  He looked at his former lovers.  "Maybe we should have a drink or something.  This is getting awkward."

"Sure, Xander."  Jigen got up to get them something drink, giving him a soda.  It was too early in the day to really drink and alcohol wasn't going to help any.  "Here."  He handed them over.  "No liquor."

"Thanks," Xander said, sipping his.  "We need to refill the cartridges.  It's flat.  It's wonderfully soothing though."  He drank more of it.  "That is pretty soothing."

"You don't have to babble, we're all nervous," Lupin reminded him gently.  He looked at Jigen, who shrugged.  "Maybe we should do this individually. We've got things we need to say to each other, all of us if we're staying a trio."

"We are?" Xander asked.

"We are," Jigen agreed firmly.  "Even if I do end up stuck in this fricken collar the rest of my damn life.  I'll expect you to treat my female side well."

"Of course," Xander agreed quickly.  "I remember how tough that transformation was."  He took another drink then put his glass down.   "Bottom line here, guys," he announced.  "I'm not sure this is a great idea.  Janus may be all seeing but I don't think he's seeing anything other than some rosy glasses.   I'm happy.  Alan may not understand me all the time but he understands me most of the time.  He tries, which is really a great thing, and he's there for more than sex.  After I was healed that's all you guys were there for, or at least I felt that way most of the time.   I need to be special to someone.  I can't be just the fuck toy of my boyfriend.  Especially not when you guys only seemed to like me when I had tits."  He looked around.  "Where're the kids?"

"Bix has them in Germany," Jigen told him.  "Goemon's going tonight to join them and protect them."  He sipped his soda and shifted some to get more comfortable.  "I wanted more than the sex, Xan.  I always did.   We used to talk all the time.  Or don't you remember waking me up to babble at me?"

Xander snorted.  "Oh, I do.  The same as I remember the look of death you gave me for it."

"You woke me up every day for three weeks at three in the morning.  Of course I was tired and cranky," Jigen said smartly, smirking at him.  "Can we start back at that level?"  Xander shrugged and nodded.  "Cool.  Then let's start with the usual, man.  How's things with your empire?"

"They're probably still pissed with me for getting kidnaped again.  A lot of them think that it happens too often."

"It does," Lupin agreed dryly. "It's a good thing we don't pay kidnapers, your ransom fund would have run out a long time ago."

"Most of them don't kidnap me for money and I managed to get out of most of them by myself. You guys only saw the worst ones.  For that matter, Bastian only saw one horrible one who wanted me to work for him."

"Excuse me?" Jigen demanded, sitting up.  "You've been taken *how* many times this year?"  Xander simply shrugged.  "That's not an answer, Xander."

"Maybe ten?  Most of them only lasted an afternoon.  One wanted sex.  One wanted me to die, he forgot to tie the ropes tight enough.  Most of them wanted to kidnap me to make me work for them, one way or another."  He smirked at him. "They were really shocked when I used my skills on them instead."

"We've only saved you once this year," Lupin said thoughtfully.

"Twice, Egypt," Jigen corrected.  "Not that he didn't do it on his own," he added at Xander's look in his direction.  "Why do they want you so much?  Is it the demonic stuff or the magic stuff? Or is it just that you're a great gunman and thief?"

"Depends on the person. This year so far it's been six demonic and three gunman, and one woman thing.  Um, two women thing but that was the 'being the bait' thing so I'm not counting it."  He shifted.  "I've had worse years and survived."

"Yeah, but we woulda wanted ta help, Xan," Jigen protested.

"Jigen, rescuing gets boring after a while," Xander said bitterly.  "You don't want to be the knight in shining armor.  Otherwise you'd have been in a different field.  I got myself out of those for the most part, except for some really horrible ones.  I'm not some damsel in distress for you to save!"

"No, you're not," Lupin agreed.  "You're very talented in your own right and you deserve the right to prove it.  You can't do that when you're being taken hostage however."

"Keeps the bad things from going too far," Xander said with a shrug.  "I don't care."

"We do, Xander," Lupin assured him.  "We never wanted that stuff to happen to you."

"Yeah, I didn't bring you with me so I'd have someone I could rescue," Jigen reminded him bitterly.  "Or to be my girl."  Xander glared at him.  "Sorry, I know you felt that way sometimes."

"I still do, Jigen.  If we're together in *that* way you should be able to touch me.  You should want to touch me and do it regularly.  Not only do it when I'm in that choker you've got on.  By the way, how were you finding it?"

"I understand why you're frustrated, Xander," Lupin said calmly.

"No, he's right," Jigen agreed. "I was crappy to him and I'm sorry about that.  I didn't need to be put into the choker to discover that.  I was in it before."

"Yeah, and you couldn't wait to get out of it."

"If you didn't want to put it back on, why did you the last time?" Lupin asked quietly.

"So you'd pay some fucking attention to me, Lupin!  It's the only way I ever got any!"  He stood up.  "You may not remember this, but I do.  I remember all the times you were able to come to me for stress relief and nothing else.  That's all I was to you, was a convenient hole, and then I agreed to put back on the damned choker and you suddenly were drooling and panting after me because I had tits.  Well, gee, now you do.  How do they feel?  Getting enough of them now?" he asked snidely, stomping off.

"Xander," Jigen called, but the boy didn't come back.

"No, I deserved that," Lupin said tiredly.  He looked at his friend.  "I so royally screwed us up, Jigen."

"It wasn't just you, man."

"No, this one was mine," Lupin told him.  "Xander knew you couldn't touch a man, he knew I could and I didn't.  That's my problem and my fault."

"And very true," Goemon said from the doorway.  He walked inside. "There were many times when you didn't pay attention to Xander unless he was in female form.  Even though you knew it was bothering him you still panted when he did it, mostly for you both.  It was a clear cry for attention.  The boy nearly lost his identity for you, Lupin.  Are you pleased with that?"

"I already want to kill my stupid self, Goemon, I don't need you to help drive me to suicide," Lupin said bitterly.

"I was not, I was giving you another point of reference, that of Xander.  He remade himself to please you two and then it wasn't enough.  At least until David did what he did and stuck Xander in that choker, and then suddenly he was not only the model student but he was the sole focus of your world. Then things calmed down and he found an existence that was only partially yours, so you punished him by withholding affection.  It's become a vicious cycle, Lupin.  You could change it. I would suggest you do so now.  Otherwise you will be older.  I have no doubt that you'd be your proper age in a heartbeat if Janus thought you were hurting him."

Lupin stood up and headed up to talk to his boyfriend.  "Xander?" he called, tapping on the door.  No answer so he peeked inside, watching him watch tv.  "Which one is that?"

"Go away."

"I want to work this out, Xander.  I'm sorry.  Even Goemon just jumped me over this."  He walked inside, closing the door behind him, and laid down behind Xander on the bed.  "I'm sorry I was such an ass to you, Xander.  I never consciously did it.  It was stupid and dumb."

"That's nice, Lupin, but it doesn't take back the pain you caused.  Nothing will."

"Is that why you left us?"

"No, that was a purely physical need.  Unfortunately I've had to keep someone on the side now for years.  Even if it was only my whorehouse membership.  Otherwise I would have hurt myself taking care of those aches and pains you put me through."

"Why were you banned from the one in London?"

"I got too energetic and she died during it," he admitted quietly, staring at the screen of his small tv.  "She wasn't the only one in the bed with us but I blamed myself.  The Madam and I talked about it and I made reparations and paid for her funeral but I didn't think it was enough.  It was my suggestion."

"Is that why you and Alan don't have sex?"

"No!" he snorted.  "That's called respect, Lupin.  I respect him.  I want more than a quick shag and a long kiss from him.  I'm willing to retire to be with him.  He likes *me*."  He flipped onto his back to look at him.  "Like Jigen used to like *me*, the odd, Xanderish person who he took on as a student.  He liked me originally.  We were buddies and I could count on him for anything.  That fucking choker messed up everything, man.  You have no idea what could have been."

"Then you don't respect me?"

Xander gave him a shove to the forehead. "I used to, until you started to fuck around on me while telling me that you were too tired to help take care of my needs."  Lupin winced.  "Yeah, people told me, Lupin.  They told me *all* about it.  I never expected monogamy from you, but honesty would have been pleasant.  The last time I heard you had a different person each month.  Mostly women but not all of them.  Sorry, I can't be both for you and I'm never being the woman again.  Maybe Janus should work out a way to rotate you two, that way you'd both get what you wanted."

"You're what we wanted, Xander," Lupin sighed, shifting a bit closer, stroking his stomach.  "I wanted you but you were always so distant.  It was like you were always lost in your thoughts and your plans.  About half the time I used to sit and watch you because you were like this alien to me.  I've never gotten lost in anything in my life.  Even when I was playing a role.  You can.  It's scary how lost you can get.  I used to wonder if you had a stable personality."

"It was always there underneath.  That's why I hated being female for you, because you refused to see me.  You saw the tits, you saw the persona, not the person.  All of those were still Xander.  And you ignored all of them.  That was self-defense to try to keep you.  At least until I finally gave up again."

"When?"

"When?  When did I give up?  Well, gee, Lupin.  Let's see....  Um, about the same time Fred and Sarah were born?"  He looked stunned.  "When I realized I was a womb to you.  A way to carry on the name and traits of the family.  Goemon treated me with respect, you treated me like a new toy.  I'm not a toy.  I'm never going to be a toy, I gave that up before I was legal to drink."  He flipped back onto his side, going back to his DVD watching.  "If someone treated you like that, you'd have killed them."

"Did you want to?" Lupin asked, moving closer to cuddle him.

"Many times, you should thank Goemon that I walked away.  He stopped a few of them."

"I saw where you dented the counter that one day," Lupin admitted.  "I know I was being an idiot then."

"That's putting it mildly," Xander said bitterly.  "Get off."

"No.  I want us to work this out.  I want to hold you and make sure that you're all right.  Too many things and people keep coming between us.  You're one of the most important people in my life, Xander."

"Really?" he asked bitterly.  "Rank them.  Out loud."  He glanced back at the continued silence.  "Go ahead.  It should start with Arsene."

"It does," he admitted.  "I put all the kids together but she's always heading the lists.  Then, um, Jigen and Goemon kinda go together in my mind.  I feel like I've known them forever."  He sighed when he realized where that put Xander - dead last.  "I'm sorry, Xander.  I wish I could change that but those have to be my priorities.  My lovers should come behind my kids."

"They should, but they're my kids too, Lupin.  I'm not asking you to switch me and the other two, but at least making me equal to them would have been nice.  Now, get off me and go away."

"Fine.  I'm sorry.  I do rank you there with them, it's just that I've known them forever."  He slumped when he didn't get an answer.  "You never wanted to be the light in someone's world, Xander."

"No, but being more important than a minor acquaintance would have been nice. I can make a political marriage and get more regard than that."

"You are," Lupin promised.  "I'm sorry, Xander.  I do rank you up there with the kids and the others.  I don't usually rank them, it's more of a flat line with all of you listed at once and then everyone else below that line.  You're my *family*, man."

"Fine.  If you say so, Lupin.  Can I please sulk in peace now?"

"Xander, we've got to work this out.  We can't work together if we can't talk and joke around.  I tried that once with Jigen and we couldn't work together. Please?"

"Later."

"Fine."  He slid out of the bed.  "You can come see me whenever you're ready, Xander.  I'm not going to be pushy.  I know I'm in the wrong here and I'm sorry."  He walked out, closing the door gently.

Xander glared at the statues.  "You see what you started?" he asked them.  They shrugged.  "I don't want them anymore.  They never paid any attention to me."

"They did at times."

"Yeah, and I ended up pregnant a lot; I'm not going that way ever again.  There are no more babies coming."

"We agreed, there should be no more children from your body," the statue agreed.

"If you do not work it out, it will kill you some day," the smiling face noted.

"They will not be there when you need them the most.  You will die from it."

"Then I die.  Yay me.  No more fucking tortured body."

"It would be too soon and the children would be hurt."

Xander groaned as he sat up.  "Parents are supposed to die before their children.  They realize this, guys.  They always have.  They know we do dangerous things that can get us killed.  They've been in the field and have seen us in a kill-or-be-killed situation.  They realize what could and will someday happen."

"Yes, but you are meant to go long after the next generation is born, not before they're thought of," the frowning face told him.  "Otherwise they could die as well."

"Gee, just guilt trip me," he said bitterly.

"They do make you happy, Xander.  You know that.  You would miss playing with Jigen."

"Or picking on Lupin."

"I said I wasn't leaving the group, just their bedrooms."

"Yes, but even that far is too far. You no longer trust them like you used to.  You must trust them in order to survive.  You must know that they will come for you at a moment's notice when you're captured or ill."

"Then I've been in danger of being killed since Sarah was born?" he asked dryly.  The heads both frowned at him.  "Truth, guys.  Really."

"You know that they would come for you."

"Yeah, but I'm not the priority.  The kids would be there first."

"They are but children.  What do you base this on?"

"Their actions."  He curled up some.  "Ishi handled it in LA.  The kids have handled a bunch of stuff that their fathers should have."

"They did not call for help?"

"They handled it.  That was the reason to train them, to make sure that they could handle things by themselves.  In this case, they can.  They'll handle it."

"What if they're in the middle of a job?"

"Well, gee, that would have to come first, but I'd expect the same from their fathers too."

"Lupin has dropped other jobs to help you."

"Since when?"  The heads looked stunned. "Yeah.  I keep much better track of what he's doing than he does what I'm doing.  I know all the jobs they were going on and why they didn't in the few cases.  They'd be pulling the job first and then coming after me. The same as the kids would.  I accept that, it's the way it should be.  If I'm meant to die because of something like that, I'd probably rather die."

"Do not say such things," they yelled.

"I accepted the fact that I could die any day from that point on when I was sixteen and nearly did.  It's no different now.  Just because the bad guys are human instead of demonic most of the time doesn't matter. I can still die any day now.  That's reality.  I like reality.  It makes me pay the bills and things.  Therefore I live in reality.  I don't promise anyone forever.  I don't promise people that I'm going to be anywhere more than a few weeks in advance, with the exception of conventions, which I know someone will go in my stead if I die.  That's the way I want it to be.  I like being realistic.  I'm not some groupie of theirs who'll take whatever they dish out and I'm not someone like Fujiko.  You guys knew this when you set us up.  You guys knew what I needed back then and that they weren't going to be able to give it for the rest of our time together.  One of you probably saw us breaking up."  The frowning head nodded.  "Then see, realistic me here.  I had the best years with them, but we're not together anymore.  We're friends.  I like being friends with them, but I'm not sleeping with them.  I can't do that, it'll skew my perceptions of reality."

"Yet you would still die for them."

"That's my job and what I do for my friends.  I'd still probably die for Dawnie too, but she's the one who'd probably kill me."  They nodded.  "So yeah, that's my job, guys. We're friends, nothing more.  I don't want anything more with them.  I like Alan, he cares for me, not for my gun or my skills or what I can tithe him with.  As a matter of fact, he's told me I'm not to buy him presents. He doesn't want to seem needy and groping."

They looked at him.  "Fine, just work things out," the smiling head decided.  "For now that should be enough."

"If other things redevelop, then they shall," the other head declared.

"Fine," Xander agreed.  "As long as you're not going to get pushy and punish them because I'm not going to be some simpering girl about things."

"We will not, as long as you are able to work together again like you used to," they decided.

"Thanks, guys."  He laid back down.  "I'm going to take a nap. It's siesta time."  He closed his eyes and curled up around his pillow.  At least he wouldn't have to listen to them whine when they got old because he couldn't sleep with them again.  He fell asleep happier than when he had woken up, and missed the nice levitation act the God did to put him into bed with Jigen.  A very female Jigen.

Lupin didn't however so he came in and climbed in on Xander's other side, snuggling against his chest.  He was back in girl form and it sucked at the moment.  He looked at Jigen.  "This okay?"

"Fine," he agreed quietly.  "Your bed's still bigger."

"Yeah but he'd have a chance to move away from us in there.  In here he can't."  She pulled Jigen closer, putting one of his arms around Xander's waist.  "There, that's more like it."

"The talking heads just said that he didn't have to take us back, Lupin, just as long as we were like we were before."

"Fat chance, I want him back.  He's mine."

Jigen looked over at him.  "Then what about me?"

"You're mine too," he said petulantly.  "Get over it and sleep."

Xander mumbled something and Lupin scowled.  "No, he's still in Australia, Xander.  It's just us.  You were floated in here."  Xander opened his eyes to look at him.  "You got floated in here."

"Whatever."  He flipped over and then sighed, laying on his back.  "I need to go back to my own room."

"No, you can stay," Jigen offered.  "I won't jump you and Lupin only wants to cuddle up to you."  Xander frowned at him.  "I swear, I won't jump you.  You never did it to me and I won't do it to you."

"Sure, Jigen."

"Good, now get comfortable.  It's only fair since I spent so much time napping on your chest."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "You can.  I'm comfy.  Melissa slept on me a few days ago."

Xander sighed but curled up on him.  "Feel better?"

"Not yet.  Relax."

"Fine."  He relaxed, slowly going back to sleep.  He didn't even realize when Lupin took the opportunity to curl up behind him.

"If you get pushy, he'll leave and we'll age again," Jigen warned.

"I'm not getting pushy.  I just wanted to cuddle.  I never understood that until I got stuck in this device of hell."

"Just make the most of it."

"I am."  He nuzzled Xander's back, getting comfortable on him.  He was his favorite pillow.

***

Xander woke up and heard Lupin whining in the other room, grimacing at her pleading noises.  "Not again," he complained, getting up and going to his favorite toy box.  He found the one he wanted and brought it back, testing it on the way.  He walked in without knocking and slid the little band around her finger, putting it onto the correct spot.  She screamed in pleasure and finally got off, making him walk off shaking his head.  At least one of them was happy.  He ran into Jigen in the hallway.  "Just like you would on someone else's body," he explained.  "That vibrating egg with finger strap should keep her occupied for a few more hours."

Jigen smirked at his back, shaking his head.  Only Xander would do that to Lupin.  He opened her door, looking at her.  "You okay?"

"Fine," she panted.  "Need more.  Please, more?  Please, Jigen?"

"I don't have the equipment to do that," he said bitterly.

"I don't care!  Please, Jigen, buddy, pal, just a tongue, anything?"

"Fine."  He came in and lent a finger, which made her much happier, for a few more minutes, then she decided to see what Jigen was like because it'd make everyone happier.  "Hey!" Jigen complained as she was pushed onto her back.  "None of that, Lupin."

"Bet me.  I need it.  You need it.  It's good to need."  He licked over a tense nipple, making her squeak in surprise.  "See, I knew you needed it!"  She went to town on her buddy, making her squeal and squirm just as much, and that toy came in just as handy on her as it did on her own body.  By dinner time they were both weak and limp.  Too tired to move.  Too tired to drink.

Thankfully Xander brought up a tray and put it between them.  "There, eat.  You sounded like you need it."

Lupin caught him and pulled him down to kiss.  "Thanks for the loaner and helping me find that spot, Xan.  I needed that," he said with a goofy grin.  "I haven't had anybody in four months."

"Four whole months?" Xander asked dryly.

"Yeah, since you left us. I haven't touched Jigen and I haven't had anyone else either."  She gave him a silly grin.  "Can I have a cuddle now?  Jigen won't cuddle."

"Eat then we'll see about cuddles.  And you do know that you can probably change back by now?"

"Nope, didn't know that."  He fumbled with the unfamiliar catches and smiled as his male parts came back.  "Thanks, Xan."

"Welcome.  Eat and sleep.  You need it."  He walked off, going back to his room and his tv, which got turned on loudly enough that he didn't have to hear them go at it again.

Jigen came in a few minutes later. "I can't change back," he complained, sitting beside him. "Can you try?"

Xander reached up and undid the bottom clasp, changing him back.  "There you go."

"Thanks.  I don't want Lupin to be my first guy that way.  He's damn greedy and too horny to make it good."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "Hey, I've got to think about that now.  After all, I made yours good."

"You did," Xander agreed quietly.  "And I still won't."

"I know.  Maybe you'll give me a recommendation or something," he said tiredly.  "Can I hide in here?"

"Sure.  Hide away."  Xander settled back in to watch his movie while Jigen curled up behind him and fell asleep after a few moments.  "Oh, man.  Pushy heads."

"Turnabout is fair play," the heads said together.

"He doesn't need that."

"Quit talking to them and watch your cartoons," Jigen complained.  "They're egging you on, man."

"Fine."  He glared at the heads and stuck his tongue out but did go back to his movie.   He was already tired of this and it was only the first day.

***

Lupin grinned at everyone the next morning. "Good morning!  How did you sleep?"

"Fine," Xander agreed.  "You?"

"I haven't had such pleasant dreams in years," he sighed happily.  "I also haven't been that worn out in years."

"Always happy to help," Jigen said as he walked in.   "Any new ideas?"

"A few," he agreed smugly.  "How was your night?"

"Comfy.  Xander's still a great pillow."  Jigen sat down with his coffee cup, sipping gently.  "I slept all night to the sound of his cartoons."

"Sorry, I fell asleep watching Adult Swim."  Xander opened a soda and sipped it gently.  "At least it wasn't Tom and Jerry."

"True, I'd hate to chase a smartass mouse."  Jigen took the soda and handed over his coffee cup.  "We don't need you on a caffeine high.  We can't leave so we can't have you jumping around."

"Isn't that going to be inconvenient when we run out of food?"

"We shouldn't.  We've got enough supplies to last us for a good few months.  The kids even left us some junk food."

"Oh, that's encouraging."  Xander stole back his soda.  "I've still got to do my katas anyway."  He gulped it then got up.  "I'll be out back."

"Fine," Lupin agreed.  He stopped him.  "If I asked, would you break me in?"

"Um, no, because that would make things *way* too complicated.  Have Jigen do it."  He headed outside, nodding at Goemon.  "I can get back to this finally.  I'm out of practice."  He stretched then did a flip, landing with a goofy grin.  "Yeah, that felt nice."  He bounced around some more then jumped Goemon, attacking him with a mad giggle.  Goemon tried to knock him off but it wasn't working that well.  "I'm having a happy day."

"I can tell."  Goemon tripped him and stood on the middle of his chest.  "Calm down.  You may not bounce around me that way.  I do not let the children, I will not allow you."  He got off him and helped him back up.  "Now that you've calmed yourself, let us go again."  Xander smirked and attacked again, making him groan.  "Xander, pushups.  Now!  He pointed at a corner.  "Now."

"Fine.  Meany."  He trudged that way to do some pushups.  "Jigen, Goemon's being a meany."

"I told you to lay off the caffeine," he said from the back door.  He looked at Goemon.  "You gotta give him some credit, Goemon.  He's finally got a working body again after about three years of pain.  The first thing he did was to jump you to practice instead of going to hit on someone else."

"It is still not what I want to do today.  Since I cannot leave, I'd rather take this time to rest and recenter myself, get used to my younger self again."

"Yeah, me too.  It's nice, I don't have wrist pain."

"And guilt tripping me into taking the asshole back isn't going to work either," Xander called in his sweetest and most innocent voice.  "I'll ask for you two to stay that way though."  He flipped back to his feet and stood up, dusting off his hands.  "There, I feel better now.  Goemon?"

"Not a chance. I'd rather not be grabbed and pouted at."  He walked into the woods, then came back a few minutes later.  "There's a boundary."

"Wonderful," Xander said grimly, heading back into the house.  Lupin pounced him and kissed him, making him toss him to the floor.  "Get off."

"Sorry," he said with a grin.  "Had to try you know."

"Okay, whatever hell this is, you can let me out now!" he yelled.  Nothing happened.  "If I find out this is another one of those simulated experiences, I will be killing everyone."  He stomped into the range and locked the door.

"I'm wondering how often they've done that to him," Lupin said dryly, smirking at Jigen.

"If we're going to get him back, you've got to quit acting like your son, Lupin.  It won't work with him.  He'll keep tossing you aside and then we'll all be our real ages again."

"Ehh, it's better than being turned into a toddler and being raised by my daughter, which was also threatened.  Speaking of which, the kids called.  Brad's back at school and asked Melissa to let him explain."

"Fuck 'im," he announced.  "He can't date my daughter if he was mixed up in that horror."  He headed for the range, tapping on the door.  "Yell when it's my turn."

"Fine."  Xander opened the door and looked at him.  "We've still got to bring those guns to Arsene."

"I'll get mine out of safe for you later."  Xander held them both up.  "They any good?"

"Yours is slightly tilted to the left, like how you said you used to aim.  Mine is dead on though."

"Then she might like mine, that used to be her problem as well."  He took the gun to look at it.  "They are pretty."

"They are. Yours also has a burr in the barrel.  I brought in the sanding equipment."  Jigen nodded, taking it to clean the gun so it was spotless for the new owner.  She would take one of theirs and he didn't mind if it was Xander's but such a fine weapon deserved a careful master. On the way he grabbed the phone, dialing her cell.  "Arsene, it's Jigen.  We've cleaned up both of those pistols for you so you can try them out.  Once we're unstuck we'll bring them down to let you try them both out.  Mine's got a slight shift to the left but Xander said his is spot on, so whichever you want."  He hung up, sitting down to wear down that burr in the barrel.  Something like that could cause it to stick and explode.

Xander went back to his practice, making sure that everything worked the way it should.  This younger body wasn't as strong either. Otherwise he would have gotten Goemon onto the ground to tickle him.

"If you had, I would have hurt you," Goemon said as he walked past the door.

"Did you know that Lotus got your telepathy, big guy?" Xander quipped.  "She's just as creepy as you are with it."

"Good.  She is my daughter."

"Even if she's built like her mother?" Xander asked, smirking when the other man came back.  "She is built like her."

"She is still my daughter."

"That's good since she looks just like you, only with a major rack."

"Do not speak that way about my children," he complained.  "My daughter will never do things like her mother.  She respects her body more than that.  Unless it is a matter of survival."

"And what are you going to do to the boy she starts to date?  She is old enough now."

"Kill him," Goemon said simply.  "No one touches my daughter."  He walked off again to pout.  His poor baby girl was never going to take up with a nasty, dirty, filthy minded, asshole like the men he knew.  Nor would she take up with one like him.  He would make sure no boy ever touched his precious baby girl.  She was still innocent and just a child.

***

Melissa looked up as Brad joined her in the range.  "What do *you* want?" she asked coldly, stunning the teacher in there with them.

"Just to talk," he said patiently.  "I was not working with them, Melissa, I swear.  Assassin's honor.  I was not working with them and I would not do such a thing.  My internship director had business with them so he brought me along.  He was giving me funny looks because I didn't look interested in any of the girls they were forcing to serve them, but I wasn't there because I was working there.  Your dad got me by accident when my master jumped and he ran away before he could be killed.  I *swear*, I'm not one of them."

"Strip," she ordered calmly.  He stripped down, making the teacher gasp.

"Shut up," he snapped, lifting his arms so she could check him over for a clan marking.  When she checked under his boxers he blushed but let her.  "See?"

"I do," she admitted.  "Are you gay?"

"I like both, the same way you do," he admitted honestly. "I figured that out this summer.  Can I get dressed again?  I'm chilly."

"Go ahead," she said, frowning at him.  "That's the only reason you were there?"  He nodded as he pulled on his pants.  "Then why didn't you say so?"

"Because you'd only believe me if I was right in front of you," he pointed out.  "So that you could tell I didn't have a clan marking or anything.  The guy tried to hire me but I refused and killed him.  I *swear*, I had *nothing* to do with that plan with yours or Lupin's fathers."

She nodded.  "That's fine.  Take off the skin patch on your arm."  He gulped and she stared him down so he did so.  "That's a pretty tattoo.  It's also not their clan marking."

"I wasn't sure that you'd know the difference," he admitted.  "I'm sorry, princess.  I'm so sorry."  He moved closer and hugged her.  "I'm so sorry, Melissa.  I'm not one of them."

"You'd better not be, or I will let my mother kill you.  He won't be nice and he does know all manner of torture paths."  He nodded, squeezing her.  "Then can you help Arsene when she's given her official weapon?  They're bringing down two of them to let her try them out."

"Sure," he agreed with a grin.  "Forgive me?"

She nodded and kissed him.  "I forgive you."    She grinned at him.  "Lotus' sixteenth is tonight."

"Are we throwing her a party or just sneaking out again?"

"No, we're doing a party.  We're stealing the practical education classroom."  He beamed at her.  "I'll tell Arsene to lift the death threat our next class together.  That way Ishi won't kill you."

"He nearly did in the hospital but then he got a call and had to leave.  Why did those people steal your mother this time?"

"His mother this time.  Fortunately she's under LA Harbor in a glass coffin with an air pump."

"Then I hope it runs out of gas or someone pulls the plug," he said with a small grin for her.  "Wanna go for a walk since neither of us need practice in here?"

"Oh yes you do," the teacher insisted.  "I've seen enough.  You two will not have classes together again!"

Melissa sneered at him.  "Where's the other teacher, you moron?  Do you have *any* idea who you're speaking to?"

Brad snickered.  "Let me introduce us.  I'm Brad Lagostini and this is Melissa Jigen, second to Lupin the Fourth."  The man went pale.  "I see you've met Miss Lupin.  Was it a good meeting?"

"Considering she's on the rag?  I doubt it," Melissa said dryly, smirking at him.  He kissed her again so she grinned at him.  "I missed that."

"Me too.  How long before you're sixteen?"

"Six more months."

"Hmm."  He kissed her again, making her go limp against him.  "I may be able to wait six months and a week.  Wanna go away for that weekend?"

"Wouldn't that violate your death penalty offence for siding against our fathers?" Lotus asked from the doorway.

"No, he was pulled in there by his internship guy.  He wasn't working with them."  Lotus scowled just like her father.  "I checked, there's no clan marking.  The only thing he has is a dragon tattoo but it's a pretty green dragon the color of his eyes."

"Fine.  I'll tell Ishi, he's on his way here."  She stomped off, going to complain to her brother.  She hated them getting together with someone.  On the way, one of the herbology and assassin students stopped her to kiss her on the cheek.  "What was that for?"

"You look like you were having a bad day," he said with a gentle smile.  "How was Japan?  Were you presented?"  She shook her head, one hand drifting up to touch her cheek.  He grinned again and walked off.  "I'll talk to you over supper, Lotus.  We're working together on that new herbal poison."

"Good point," she agreed, sounding mystified.  She headed for where her brother was staring.  "Brad and Melissa are back together again.  He wasn't part of that, it was the guy he was interning with who drug him there.  She even checked for clan markings."

"We'll see about that.  She is too young," Ishi declared.  He glared at his sister.  "As are you."

"Shut up or I'm telling dad that you slept with the stewardess on the flight up," she said with a smirk.  He gasped.  "See, I can be mean, Ishi.  Now, I've got to find something to wear to Manners and Flirtation.  What am I wearing?  I'm supposed to play the bait today."

"Wear that blue dress in Melissa's closet," he offered, watching her walk away.  "And put on a bra!" he yelled after her.

"They hurt!  I want less tits!"

"Lotus!" he said, sounding shocked.

Arsene chuckled from the door.  "Wear the red number on my bed.  They made up?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Go change and do your hair. You've only got ten minutes.  Bell's about to ring."  She jogged that way, heading up to put on the outfit she had chosen for her.  She smirked at Ishi.  "You did what?"

"I'm sixteen," he reminded her archly.

"True, and the day after mine I'm going to have someone at the house."  She strolled off, going to the range.  "Your dad called, they're bringing the guns as soon as they're free of the house."  She looked at Brad.  "That was your only strike, boy.  I'd be very careful if I were you.  After all, I can take her from you and make you a pitiful, begging little boy."  She tapped him on the chest.  "Remember that."  She picked up Melissa's gun and sighted down it.  "How do you handle something so heavy?"

"Mom gave it to me.  It's one of his back ups.  I like it, it feels solid in my hand and doesn't have that bad of a recoil."

"If you say so.  Bell's about to ring.  No snogging in front of me," she ordered at the renewed kissing.  "Oh, the real range teacher's coming this way."  They shrugged and went back to it.

So when the dark haired man who ran the marksmanship lectures and practices came in, he saw the couple in the corner and Lupin the Fourth watching and grinning.  "I take it they're back together?"  She nodded, holding up Melissa's gun.  "I like those.  So does her...mother.  It's a good choice for her."

"It is, she's wonderful with it."  The bell rang.  "'Lis, we've got Manners and Flirtation and Lotus is being the bait today."  Melissa groaned and let her boyfriend go, walking out with him and Arsene.  He had the same class apparently.  She grinned at them, blinking a few times when Lotus came in.  Her hair was down and had been brushed so it was shiny and soft looking.  The outfit clung to her body, the older-style shirt with laces up the front did great things for her chest and tiny waist.  Her skirt flowed over the gentle muscles of her hips and legs, stopping just shot of her knees.  The heels were lower than you'd expect but still made gentle clicking noises as she walked.  She had topped it off with a pair of glasses and a simple silver chain to highlight the cleavage showing.  "Wow.  You look *way* better than your mother ever did," she said in awe.  "We need to send your father a picture of you like that.  Even Mom would drool."  Lotus blushed as her brother came in.

"Whoa," he said, stopping to stare at her.  "Lotus?"  She nodded, smirking at him as she pushed some of her hair behind her ear.  "Wow," he breathed, staring at her.  "Gods."  He shook himself when someone pinched him.  "Please, don't wear that outside the school?  Go back to the gi's and workout clothes?"

She chuckled, making a few people shiver.  "I think we should show Daddy sometime.  He's still having 'changing her diaper' feelings about me."

"Yeah, I can see why," Ishi agreed, staring at her chest. "Gods, even Uncle Jigen wold drool on you."  The teacher coughed so he got out of her way, making her mouth fall open.  "That's my sister," he said proudly.  "Now I know why your...chest gets in the way of your sword."  Melissa helped him into his seat, and forced his chin up so his mouth would close.  He shifted and then got up, heading for a freezer.  It was easier this way.

Lupin smirked at her.  "Look this way, Lotus.  Let's capture that one."  She took a few pictures with her phone and sent one to her father, smirking at the text message she got back.  "Uncle Jigen's in the freezer, Mom's grinning at them, Daddy is drooling on his shoes and your father said to please put on more clothes.  Daddy sent back a howl as well."  Lotus blushed again so she took a picture of her like that.

"Don't worry, all of you get to do the distraction lectures," the teacher offered.  "As a matter of fact, Lupin and Jigen, go change."

"Yes, ma'am," they agreed, going up to do that.  This was a double class so they had time to pick out something to wear.

Arsene came back down in a tight leotard and a short skirt, and thigh highs that you could barely see the lace of.  Her heels had a strap on them but they were a bit higher.  She also carried another shirt. "I wasn't sure if you wanted more bad girl or not."  She held up the other outfit. "I can change if you want."

"Let's try for something a bit more tasteful," the teacher agreed, blinking at her.  Arsene nodded and put on a shirt over top of her leotard and partially pulled back her hair, then unrolled her skirt by a single turn, lowering it maybe an inch.  She held her out arms.  "Well.  That is very good.  Definitely a good try."

"Hey, I'm not the most busty woman," she said with a shrug. "I'm liked for other reasons," she said smugly, sitting down and crossing her legs correctly.

When Melissa came in, it was with the Range teacher following her.  "Sorry, he got insistent when he saw my outfit."

"I didn't think her father wanted her that shown off," he explained.  "Now I see why."  He took his jacket back and left, shaking his head the whole way out there.

Brad fell out of his chair, going to his knees to drool on the floor. "'Lis?" he whispered hoarsely.  Lotus had been beautiful but she was stunning in a whole other way.  She was dressed in all black, with a green scarf used as a belt.  Her top was a scoop neck that showed off her impressive cleavage and was long sleeved. Her skirt was straight and stretchy, just barely shining in the light.  She had on black stockings and heels, but she was stunning to him.  He would gladly take her here and now if she would let him and he wouldn't end up married to her.  She smiled at him and he swallowed, crawling forward.  "Melissa, can I take you for a walk later? I don't think I can wait those six months," he whispered.  She even smelled good, like the sweetest smell of womanliness.  "Please!"

Ishi walked in and hauled him up.  "Excuse us, we've got to have a talk."

"Leave him be," she said, stomping her foot.  "My man!"  He let him go, staring down at her so she sidled up to him, smirking up at him.  "Or don't you feel the same way?" she teased, playing with his shirt button.  He groaned but controlled it otherwise.  At least until she kneed him in his very hard groin.  Then she stared down at him. "Do not touch *my* man, Ishi, I will make your life a living hell."  She gave Lotus a smug look, then turned it on her boyfriend.  "Still think I'm too guy-like at times?"

He slowly shook his head.  "Not when you've untamed those things.  Can I do what Fred did?"  She chuckled and patted him on the head.

The teacher regained her composure.  "That is why we hold these lectures, so that those who are more vulnerable can gain some immunity."

"So your class was the one that my dad flunked?" Arsene asked.  "He said he flunked one."

She looked at her.  "Probably."  She looked at her examples.  "Now, let's sit up front, ladies.  Let the boys get a good look at you and let you get used to being stared at.  You as well, Arsene.  Go ahead and take down your hair again if you wouldn't mind.  Or take off the wig if that's a wig."  Arsene took off the wig and walked up there, taking off the shirt, much to the drooling of the other guys.  Even Ishi whimpered at the sight of all three of them.  "This is why it's a good thing to have women in the field."

Arsene snorted.  "Speak for yourself, professor. I'm every bit the thief my father is and Melissa's every bit the gunman her father is.  Lotus is every bit the assassin her father is, the same as Ishi is.  We were raised to be ourselves and then be girls.  Being only little girly girls means that you've only got one role in the field, sex toy, and that's not us."  She walked back to her seat and pulled the jeweled hairstick out of the wig, handing it over as she walked back.  "Or else I wouldn't have gotten that on a recent trip to London."

"Th...th...that's from the Tower," she said in awe.

She nodded, giving her a smug look.  "Very good.  Yes, it is."  She smirked at Melissa.  "Didn't you get a coronet?"  She nodded.  "Lotus?"

"I got that necklace.  Ishi got a broach."

"You did *the* Tower?" the teacher asked.  The kids nodded.  "Who was the bait?"

"What bait?  We used the secret entrances and did it between rotations."  She shrugged. "It's from the secondary collection but not too shabby for a spur of the moment plan."

"You didn't use a distraction?"  Arsene shook her head.  "Why not?"

"Why? It wasn't necessary."  The woman gaped at them.  "Unless we need someone to distract our target for a few hours, we don't use bait.  Bait is for fishing, we only deal with whales."  A few of the students laughed at that play on words - whales were high rollers.

"Distraction isn't always necessary.  You can't open a safe with a distraction.  You can't fly a 'copter with a distraction.  You can't even get most guards out of the way with a distraction.  When you've got more than one person, a distraction isn't always useful.  Welcome to the real world of crime, professor."

"However, if you are an assassin and are the sort who can use it, you can use bait to get close enough to your target," Lotus offered.  "I'm told a number of female assassins and my mother worked that way."

"Too bad you look better than she ever could," Brad blurted out.  She blushed and ducked her head. "You do.  Your mother may have looked like a model, but you're *much* prettier, like a siren.  Damn, girl, if I didn't have Melissa, I'd be bowing at your feet."

"You'd better not," Ishi growled.

"I said if," he complained.  "Ease off!  She's allowed to date!  She's not a nun!"  He grinned at the ladies.  "I need a camera."

"My phone's on my desk," Arsene offered.  "Or maybe Ishi has one of the button cameras on."  He nodded and handed it over, letting Brad take their picture.  She refixed her shirt and let him take another one.  "There, that's better.  Dad will *love* that one."  She looked at the professor.  "Are we done yet?  We've got a wine tasting tonight after we're done for the day."

"Go," she ground out.  She wrote out a note.  "Hand that to the headmistress so she can change your schedules for you."  They nodded and gathered their things, taking Brad with them on the way out. "The rest of you still must learn this important art!  That is why it is taught!"

The headmistress smiled as they came into the room, her smile falling when she saw how they were dressed.  "Wow.  Distraction lessons?"

"Which are pretty worthless to us," Arsene agreed dryly, handing over the note.  She sat on the corner of the desk.  "So, what can we fill in the new gap with?"

"Speaking of which, you've got us all in senior lock picking and we've all done that already," Melissa agreed, sitting down and putting her boyfriend into her lap.  "Wanna go to the wine tasting with us tonight?"

"Sure," he agreed with a smile for her.  "As long as you don't change."

"Never dream of it," she assured him.  "Lotus, did you want to change into something less showy?"

"No, I'm fine," she admitted. "I can kick anyone's ass in this outfit."

The Headmistress looked them over, then shook her head.  "There's not many senior electives."

"She wanted to know which one of us did distraction when we hit the second collection at the Tower," Lotus snorted.

"Good point."  She looked at the list.  "Well, there's an elective PE?  Or there's an extra herbology studyhall and practical.  There's elective training time?" she suggested, looking up at them.  "That would let you go into whichever area you needed.  It's like thesis hours at a college, only more practical."  They all shrugged and nodded. "Okay, I'll put you in there."  She opened their schedules on the computer and changed it, then sent emails to the teacher.  "The gadgets and gizmo's teacher is over that class so check in with him tomorrow.  This leaves you each three classes and four of that class."  They nodded.  "That's fine?"

"I could always use a nap," Lotus agreed with a grin.

"Fine.  Melissa, please do not have him strip in the range again.  I know it was necessary that time but not again, dear."

"Of course not.  Now, we should have real pictures taken once Brad changes, and then we're off to that wine tasting."

"You've all got history today," the Headmistress reminded them.

"We already passed the test," Arsene complained.

"Okay, then two classes and five of practical application time," she sighed, changing it again. "Go, have fun.  Ishi, your dagger was in the wash, I had them put it back onto your bed but it may not be there."

"I saw.  It's cool with me," he said smugly, winking at her. "Come along, ladies.  Let us men change while you do whatever."  He and Brad went back to their rooms to change.  You didn't keep those three waiting.

***

Lupin looked up as Goemon gave him the paper the next morning, looking at the picture and gaping.  "Damn, her camera phone didn't do them justice," he breathed.  "Jigen!"  Jigen came trotting in.  "The kids went to a royal wine tasting."  He handed over the picture.  "We need to get more copies of that and cut that one out."

"My daughter is hot," he said in awe. "And damn, look at Lotus.  She's got a set that's bigger than any real ones I've seen."  Goemon growled and snatched the paper back to look at his daughter.  "She's turned to the side."

Goemon stomped outside, going to calm himself.  His daughter was not old enough to be admired in such a way.

Xander looked at the picture, then at the fathers.  "Wow.  They clean up nicely.  Were they teasing?"

"They were in the distraction and manners class but they talked their way out of it after they showed up like that," Lupin told him with a smirk.  "We make some pretty babies."

"We do," Xander agreed.  "But Lotus is going to need bridge supports for hers if we don't let her reduce them."

"Yeah, but she's got a world-class rack," Jigen said in awe.  "Not even her mother had a set like that."

"True.  She's about two cups bigger than Fujiko ever was," Lupin agreed lightly.  "Damn, I'm so glad she's my niece."

"Didn't keep Ishi from falling to his knees and panting at Melissa," Jigen said proudly.  "She said so.  She said to look at the pictures they took of the group, now I know why.  Even Brad was ready to crawl after her."

"Yeah, he's got that possessive arm around both of them," Lupin agreed.  Ishi was scowling at someone who was staring at his sister in the picture.  "Do we think Ishi's already gone ahead with his first woman?"  Goemon turned and walked back outside.

"Yeah, on the flight up," Xander said smugly.  "She was a pretty stew but it was a quick thing on the private flight.  Speaking of, he took your card to rent it, Lupin."  He sighed and nodded.  "He made good use of what he's heard you talking about too.  From what I hear, she wobbled off the plane."

"Good for him," Lupin said happily.

"Six more months until your daughters turn sixteen," Xander said smugly. They both shuddered.  They knew what the girls were going to do.  Then they'd have to start listening to them talk about sex.  They might even have to walk in on them having sex.  They went to the study to get drunk on that thought.

Goemon finally came back in.  "Where are they?"

"In the study getting drunk. I reminded them that 'Lis and Arsene are going to be sixteen in another six months.  They wanted to congratulate Ishi though, his first time wobbled off the plane after he was done with her."  Goemon shuddered.  "Oh, come on, it's a good sign.  His first woman was wobbling."

"It's horrible; hush, boy."  He went to join them getting drunk.

Xander beamed and went to play in the gym by himself.  There were still some things he wanted to try out.

***

Vecchio looked up and glared as Stanley walked in and kicked the door a few times.  "What's wrong?" he asked patiently.  A copy of the paper was tossed in front of him, letting him see the picture.  He stared, then looked up at him.  "They're not that old!"

"They are that old.  Ishi had sex on the plane on the way up.  The stewardess walked away dizzy and weak."

"I remember doing that a few times," Dawn said from her desk.  "I'm guessing he took sex ed lessons from Xander."  The guys stared at her.  "It was a long time ago, guys.  Really.  He was my first."  She got up and came over to look at the picture.  "Holy shit, Lotus is stacked!  Melissa's not bad but Lotus looks hot!  Goemon's going to have to buy a chastity belt for her."

Vecchio glared at her.  "I doubt she's that sort of girl."  He looked at the picture again.  "I see Melissa and Brad are back together again."  Stanley grunted in annoyance.  "They're cute."

"Six months until they're sixteen," Stanley said smugly. "Then we get to start catching them in the closet."  Zenigata stomped in, looking like he was in a foul mood already.  "Have you seen the kids in the paper yet?" he asked.  He scowled so he looked at Dawn for interpretation.

"No, I think the cat decided to use his shoes as a litter box again," she guessed.  He scowled more at her.  "Yup.  Here, hand him the picture, Vecchio."  It was handed over and Zenigata's mouth fell open and he started to babble.  Dawn glared and slapped him.  "Do not get off on them!"

"No, they're pretty but not as pretty as you," he said quickly, kissing her gently.  "They're nowhere near as hot as you are, babe.  I promise.  They're pretty but they're kids.  Why would I want kids?  I'd prefer a woman who knew what I like."  She relaxed and he grinned at her.  "Wanna go somewhere for lunch since Lupin's locked in his house still?"  She smirked up at him.  "I'm serious.  Either that or someone's going to have to dive down into the harbor in Los Angeles to show it to her mother."

"She's where?" Stan asked.

"Ishi had her put into one of those torture coffins under the harbor.  There's an air pump but she's down there until someone unlocks her."  He smirked at them.  "Apparently he'd had enough of her.  He paid a few grand to have her stuck down there too."  He grinned at his wife.  "You *sure* we can't go have *lunch*?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"As long as you don't call their names," she said sweetly.

"So what if they have big tits, you're prettier and hotter and smarter," he assured her.  She nodded, letting him kiss her.  He was in luck, he had talked her out of her the snit fit she was going to throw over this.  But damn, those girls had nice sets.

***

David dove into the water with the covered picture and the waterproof duct tape, diving down to tape it onto a certain coffin.  He smirked at Fujiko as she started to scream and taped it over her face, letting her stare at the kids.  He waved and swam back up there, picking up the bag someone had dropped on the way.  He walked up onto the beach and took off his SCUBA gear, checking the bag to see what it was.  "Hey, bearer bonds," he said happily, taking them back to the hotel to do a search on them.  If they were good, they were his unless they were noted as stolen.

Fujiko screamed and ranted at the picture of her children.  Her daughter could not be that pretty yet!  She was a little tomboy and wold pay for this!  When she got out of that prison she'd be making them all pay!

***

Jigen looked at Xander as he walked into his room, handing over the book he had borrowed earlier.  "Sorry about that.  I didn't realize you were reading it."

"Only in the bathroom.  You can borrow that."  He pulled Jigen up and adjusted her chest for her.  "You were wincing because of that.  Next time, adjust yourself before hand.  You looked like you had a double-titted tit."  He grinned and walked away but Jigen followed him.  "What?"

"Can you help me with something else?" he asked quietly, closing the door.

"Sure.  What's up?"

"I can't get why some things are *constantly* wet.  Especially since we're not changing together."

"Ah, the wet panties syndrome.  I always enjoyed the hell out of the dampness myself.  There were days I left sweat marks on chairs from it."  Jigen looked stunned.  "Can you think why you've got wet panties?"  He shivered and nodded.  "So go fix that."

"I don't like to do that.  It's like it's unreal."

"Jigen, if you're stuck in that thing until Janus gives up, you oughta know that he's more stubborn than I am.  You're gonna be like that for a *long* time.  You should get used to it.  I spent plenty of time in the baths when I first got it."

"Yeah, but I'm not the horny creature you and Lupin are."

"Then why do you have wet panties?" Xander asked practically.  Jigen shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed, so he hugged her gently.  "It's all right.  You just have to figure out what's turning you on and get over it.  It could be something as simple as the type of panties you're wearing.  Sometimes they're the cause."

"I wasn't wearing any earlier and then I put some on and it got worse."

"Then try going without again."

"I couldn't, I had to change," he said bitterly.  He gave him a squeeze and looked up at him.  "Xander, I don't know what to do about this stuff. It's like my body's some alien that I'm hosting and it's taking over.  I caught myself cooing at something yesterday and I'm not some girly girl.  I don't want to be some girly girl."

"All women, even the most tough ones, have moments of thinking 'that's cute' and then moving on," Xander reminded him.  "You can coo at the cuteness that was the new kitten.  Speaking of cats, Janus, you left ours back in England."

"Ethan has them at the moment," the smiling head said quietly.  "His is being bred."

"That's fine, as long as they're not hurt."  He looked at Jigen.  "See?  It's *fine* to have those moments or even to look at Goemon and think he's cute.  He is, in a boyish and stony sort of way."

"Did you ever get off over him?"

"Nope, not my sort.  He'd never pay enough attention to me."  He let her go and sat beside her.  "Now, go take a long, hot bath and fix that for yourself.  Remember Lupin's lesson, it's all about hitting the right spot."  He nodded and stood up, so Xander adjusted the skirt for him.  "There, now it's not crooked."  He grinned.  "Also, try to go without the pantyhose and you can still wear pants, you've just got to wear girls' pants instead."

"If you say so."  He headed back to his room, going to see if following that order would help any.  He heard Lupin going at it with himself and grimaced.  He nearly went in there to snap at him but he knew it wouldn't get him anyplace.  He knew Lupin needed that sort of attention and it would only make him more frustrated at the situation.  Since he couldn't leave at the moment, it wouldn't accomplish anything to go in there and piss him off.  He calmed himself down and turned on some music to cover up Lupin's groans and moans of delight, going into his bathroom to deal with his own issues.  How did women stand this crap?  It was irritating to have wet panties.  Nearly as bad as not drying your underwear enough before putting them on as a guy, but much closer to your body.

When the water was high enough, he climbed in and relaxed.  It was nice.  He even did this sometimes as a guy to relax, though the last few times had been with Xander.  That brought images to his mind and he groaned, trying to banish the naked Xander images from his mind.  He couldn't do it though, the naked Xander images stayed.  Naked Xander smirking at him.  Naked Xander playing with Lupin.  Naked Xander playing with himself.  Naked Xander lounging in the bath with him, against his chest.  Not even naked Sylvia or Melody pictures, just naked Xander pictures.  "Why me?" he complained. He heard someone tap on his door and groaned louder. "Go away!"

Lupin came in and turned down the stereo.  "Sorry, Goemon complained about the noise."  He grinned at him.  "You okay? You look kinda flushed."  He came in and handed her the sponge from the other end of the tub, wetting it first for her.  "I can help you if need me to, Jigen."

"Go away, Lupin.  It's bad enough I'm having naked Xander pictures I can't get rid of, but having some of you joining in won't help."

Lupin chuckled.  "From what I understand that's normal.  Even Dawn still has naked Xander mental pictures running around her head."  He used the sponge to gently stroke along Jigen's near shoulder.  "I can do whatever you need to help you, Jigen. All you have to do is ask me."

"Lupin, I don't want you to break me in."

"I know.  You did that for Xander and you want him to do it for you. I totally get that.  I can just play if you wanted."  Jigen grimaced and shook his head.  "You sure?  He's going to be a stubborn guy about that.  He's still resisting the urge to get together with us again, even for a few days."

"That's because he knows it wouldn't last that long," Xander said from behind him. "Jigen, I've found that book you gave me if you wanted to borrow it."  She shook her head. "Okay, it's in my sock drawer if you need it.  Lupin, you're not going to be that persuasive this time.  She needs to get used to herself before you can help her with that stuff."

"How would you know, Xander?"

"Gee, let's see, how long did it take me to get used to having tits and internal sexual organs?" she asked bitterly.  "Was I really there when Jigen and I went at it that first time?  No, not really.  But it helped a different problem I was having.  It took me nearly a  year to get fully used to and appreciative of having internal female stuff.  Even you're not used to it yet."

"I'm fully comfortable in it."

"Then wear it all day," he said dryly.  "Heels and all.  Tomorrow."

Lupin shuddered.  "That's nasty."

"Agreed.  Which is why he's still having problems.  He's been a guy for a very long time, Lupin.  He's also one of those guys who's not comfy with other guy's equipment being near him.  It's gonna be a while before he wants a guy to touch him that way."

"Don't you mean it'll be a while before you touch him that way?"

"No, I'm not touching either of you.  I thought I made that clear.  I'm not going to give myself four months of attention to be ignored the rest of the time.  I deserve better than that, the same as Jigen does.  At least he talked to me, even if he couldn't touch me."  He walked away, heading back to his room.  Then he decided to go down to the gym to do something else.  He was tired of this and it'd only been about a week. He glared at the statue on the way past.  "Thanks so very much for fucking up what little was going right in my life," he hissed.  He made it down there and locked the door, then found Goemon in there already.  "Hey, if you're using it, I'll go outside."

"You're not allowed to practice without someone being there to watch you," he reminded him.  "You get hurt."  He looked him over.  "If I must, I will spar with you."

"Do you really want to be hurt, Goemon?  I'm in the mood to hurt something.  Unless you want to take the place of the punching bag, butt out."  Goemon looked startled.  "Yes, I do have a temper.  We've officially reached the end of it.  Xander's going to go ballistic and there's going to be little pieces of *something*.  That something can be inanimate or I can turn something inanimate.  Your choice."

"Calm yourself.  Such anger is not healthy."

"Go away!"  Goemon frowned at him this time.  "I don't need this shit!  I was happy before!  I was getting away from being fucking miserable every day of my fucking life because my lover couldn't spend enough time each day to even acknowledge that I was living!  I *finally* find someone I don't have to put on an act for and now this happens!  Do you think I'm a *happy* fucking Xander?"  Goemon shook his head.  "Then go away!"

"Beating up on a punching bag will not help you any."

"It'll keep me from hitting you."

"Good point," he agreed, "but it still not going to be useful enough."  Xander growled and turned, but Goemon caught him.  "I can help you calm yourself."

"Unless you want to hand your sword to your son right this instant, let go," he growled.  Goemon let go and stepped back.  "Thank you."  He walked out and slammed the door, heading outside.  The pool was inside the boundaries and he could wear out his anger and aggression in it.  He got there and found the barrier had moved and glared back at the house. "I'd move it back," he warned.  "Or else you're going to be punted into outer space."  The boundary moved for him, allowing him full access to the pool.  He stripped off and dove in, starting on some laps.  He hated people.  He wanted to become a recluse.  Fortunately he did have enough money to do that now.  He could easily disappear and become a recluse.  Alan could go out and do things, he wouldn't mind him doing those sort of things at all, just as long as he never had to see another person again.  Especially not certain people.  He turned and found Lupin setting something up.  "What are you doing?"

"Xander?" Alan's voice asked from the speaker.  "Are you all right?"

"Fine, honey.  Just pissed at the world.  I'm trying to wear it out."  He looked at Lupin, but he had retreated back to the house.  "So, which one called you to tell you I was going to kill them all?"

"Lupin did.  He sounded really worried about you."

Xander sighed.  "You remember hearing about the choker?"  Alan grunted.  "You're not on speaker, right?"

"No, I'm on my cell, Xander.  What's going on?  I remember that they were put into them.  I got an email from someone saying they were Ethan saying that you were going to be quarantined at the house in France until you had worked things out."

"No, Janus put us here until I took him back and now he's fucking with Jigen's mind until he gives in and begs me to take him.  I won't.  This is pissing me off.  I'm ready to kill something.  And then Goemon tries to stop me from killing something inanimate."  He let out a bitter sounding snort.  "So now I'm in the pool trying to wear some of it."

"Xander, can't you bleed it out of you or something?"

"No.  It's too much of me right now.  I don't have the control necessary to do something like that."  He put his chin down on his arms on the side of the pool.  "How's things going down there? Is it pretty?"

"It is, but it's also rather boring.  They've only taken us shopping once and the mall was pretty but very boring.  It's like they're trying to show us the best of their city and I'm bored.  I want to find somewhere gritty and dirty.  I need to find somewhere to have fun."

"Then go to that place I told you about on Rue street. You'll like it there and I should still have some credit there.  I'm sure no one would dare touch you and it's got some minor betting stuff going on, plus an arcade."

"I'll be in that town tomorrow," he admitted. "I guess I can do that.  Should I tell them that we're dating when I show up?"

"If anyone asks, tell them you're Lavelle's latest bitch and they'll just nod and walk away," he said dryly.  "I've only had one other one I took in there and it was Lupin.  They didn't recognize him but they remembered me."  He grinned at the snickering going on.  "How many more weeks?"

"Three.  I could come back for a weekend if you wanted me to."

"Nah, I don't want to mess up your schedule.  Besides, you'd have to come here and then things would only get more tense."  He grimaced toward the house again.  "Listen, if you hear the house exploded, I'm still fine.  Got it?"

"Sure, Xander, but can't you wear that out some other way?"

"It'd be totally accidental.  I'd never do it on purpose.  This house is huge and then Lupin would move into my place in England."  He dunked himself then came back up.  "You're sure you're okay?  Is the bodyguard doing okay?"

"He's just fine, lovie.  He's wonderful and very quiet, but he laughs at my jokes."  Xander grinned at that.  "I think I heard a smile."

"You did. You always make me smile.  It's good that you're a happier person that I am.  I want to become a recluse and let you go out and do people things for me."

"As long as I wasn't forced to stay there all the time we could do that," Alan offered.  "Do you have enough funds stashed around the world for that?"

"Plus some legitimate businesses that make decent profits," Xander admitted.  "Didn't I tell you that I own my own comic company?"

"You did and I'm sure that it makes you giggle all the time, Xander, but what about big people businesses?"

Xander snorted.  "You mean like the security company, the restaurant, or even the other stuff?  The tour income from the house in Spain?  The ski lodge?  The plastic surgery office?"

"How did you get involved in that?"

"Magic."

"Oh.  Okay.  I'm not even going to go there.  I will not tell anyone to go there though."

"That's fine.  I'd expect any clients to do research before coming in anyway," he said lightly.  "My knees don't ache."

"Good.  I'm glad you don't ache.  Are you still fully living?"

"Yup, sure am.  Aren't you supposed to be going on soon?"

"About an hour.  Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine.  I'm going to do a few more laps then go back to bed."

"Sure, Xander.  Have a better night."

"You too, knock 'em dead and make 'em all hard, honey.  I know you can do it."  Alan chuckled at that.  "If you do I'll send you dirty pictures of me."

"I'd like that," he agreed happily.  "You behave."

"Me?"

"Yes, you, Xander. I know you can now and then."  He blew a kiss.  "Have a better night, love.  Happy sleeps."

"You too, Alan.  Happy dreams."  He listened to the dialtone for a moment, then got up to shut off the speaker.  He sat on the side of the pool again, then slowly slid back into the water and went back to swimming, thinking this time.  If he wanted to retire, he'd have to do some things first.  Things like liquidating a few apartments worth of crap he'd stolen.   He'd probably have to tithe Lupin and Jigen some of that stuff but he didn't care.  If they didn't know then they weren't paying attention to him yet again.  He turned and swam back the other way, getting calmer and calmer as he swam.  Maybe he'd liquidate a few of the condos he had and buy a place on the beach.  He'd like a place on the beach.  But which set of beaches?  American beaches?  European beaches?  Australian beaches?  Asian beaches?  "Somewhere warm," he muttered as he flipped around.  "Somewhere nice and quiet, retirement sorta place."

"Hawaii is always nice," Jigen said from the gateway.  "You better now?"

"No."

"Okay. You wanna talk?"

"No."

"Fine.  I'll be taking the phone back inside.  It's supposed to rain so be careful.  Come in before dawn and don't sleep in the water, Xander.  You can still drown."  He grabbed the speaker and headed back inside, mentally sighing at this new, moodier Xander.  He stopped in Xander's room, staring down at the statue.  "You can't change the guy.  He's in pain.  You're making it worse by pushing."

"We only want him to be happy."

"So do I, but I don't think we do it for him anymore.  I think he's thinking about retiring."

"He is," one side admitted sadly. "He would have a longer life but be very bored.  The children would quit visiting after a few years.  You'd never see him.  He'd retire and do nothing but read and watch tv."

"Which future are you looking at?" Jigen complained. "Our kids would never leave him alone that long.  You know that."

The frowning head shook itself and looked up at him. "It is in two of the possible paths if he retires."

"Out of how many?"

"Seven."

"Not good enough odds.  In either of those were they dead?"  They both nodded.  "Both of them?"

"One of them.  The other they were trying to make it easier on him by not forcing him to deal with his former life."

"Our kids?" Lupin asked from the doorway.

"Lotus thought it might be hurting him to see them and remember," the heads offered quietly.  "Otherwise, he must have you to be happy and content.  Of all the futures, that leads to the most happiness."

"Are we taking Alan into account?"

"We are, Lupin, and he will be happy with him until the first time he panics because someone takes him to get back at him."  The heads looked at him.  "You offer the best chance for happiness, but you must not ever ignore him again or he will leave.  You must be his and he must be yours."

"Like what Goemon used to do to Fujiko?" Jigen asked.

"No, like how you two were together, Jigen.  That easy friendship and ease of being together.  You can be with him if you want.  You simply have to want it badly enough."

"Just don't hurt him more," Lupin told them.  "He was ready to kill whoever got in his way earlier."

"We know.  We are sorry Goemon had to see that.  His daughter would have known what to do."

"Hugging him would have gotten someone hurt, even the kids," Jigen pointed out.  "For having his best interests at heart, you don't know the boy very well."

"He has ever been ours, Jigen.  We have always know him and we know the heart that is underneath this new persona of Lavelle.  He is still Xander."

"Yeah but the Xander you see isn't the real Xander either. He's real good at hiding himself," Jigen reminded them.

"We can read his dreams and his desires."

"Humans are more than their dreams and desires," Lupin reminded them. "Otherwise Mamo would have been the idea human."  He walked closer.  "Just read him again, Janus.  That's all we're asking.  Read deeply into who Xander is.  Then maybe you'll know how to fix this for him."

"We will do this boon for you," they decided.  "Go rest.  Tomorrow will be another long day."

"Thanks," Jigen told them.  They trooped back to their rooms, Jigen locking his door before Lupin could get inside, and going back to his bath.

***

Xander looked around the dreamscape he was in, frowning.  "Uh-huh.  A temple, how quaint."  He headed for the light he could see, walking into the main room by the throne and the altar set up.  He nodded at it, not feeling the need to bow presently.  He looked at the being on the throne, raising an eyebrow.  "You yelped for me?"

"It was suggested that we did not know you as you are presently," one of the faces of the God spoke quietly.  "Therefore we will read you deeper, see if this is actually necessary."

"Come closer, Xander."

"Why do I feel like this is going to be like my attempt at therapy?"

"No, we know the cause of your personality, it is not your parents," they assured him, moving him closer by force.  They reached down, laying a hand on his head, one overtop of the other.  "Now, relax."  The world went black for Xander, and they browsed through his mind.  There was much they had missed but the basic truths were still in place.  When they were done, they let him go and laid him on the altar to let him sleep.  At least until he started to waver and disappear.  They looked in the mirror so they could see each other, shaking their heads.  Xander still needed them.

***

Goemon drug Xander out of the pool, hitting the emergency switch that led up to the study and Lupin's bedroom, then bent down to check him over.  He wasn't breathing so he started CPR.  Jigen came jogging out and got down to help him, taking over the breathing since he had bigger lungs.

Lupin came running with the first aid kit and noticed what was going on, going pale and sitting down.  "Will he be okay?"

"We don't know yet, Lupin.  Get me the breather."

Lupin opened the tackle box and handed over one of those squeazy ball masks that they used in ambulances, then got the defibrilator ready.  When he had everything set he moved Goemon out of the way and attached the pads to the wet chest and pushed the button.  "Move," he ordered, hitting the second button.  It shocked Xander, making him choke.  Jigen moved him onto his side, helping him spit up the water.  "What was he doing?"

"Janus had him," Goemon said bitterly.

"The whole point of looking into him again wasn't to kill him!" Lupin yelled at the sky.  He grabbed one of the spare towels from a lounger and put it across Xander's chest, checking his pulse on the machine.  "He should be fine.  He's breathing, his heart rate's a little fast but he should be fine."

"Thank God," Jigen sighed, moving back some.  He lit a cigarette and took a long drag, then looked at the others.  "Are you two okay?"  Goemon nodded and Lupin shook his head, looking at the machine again.  "He's just passed out, Lupin, he'll be fine."

"We don't know how long he was in there," he complained. "It's been two hours since the statue said it'd look at him again."  He stood up.  "We need to take him to the hospital.  Just in case he's got brain damage or something."

"He's fine, Lupin.  He's snoring," Goemon noted, pointing at the boy and his quiet snoring.  "I heard him flail once and that's when I came.  He was probably fine before then."

"I'm not willing to take that chance," Lupin decided, taking Xander and picking him up, carrying him to the garage.  "Something had better be working," he muttered as he walked.  He found one of the cars started and got Xander into it, getting in to drive.  He sped off down the driveway, heading for the local hospital.  Once he got there, the nurses rushed out to grab Xander.  "He nearly drowned.  He's a good swimmer so we're not sure why.  He used to swim competitively.  We had to shock him to get him back."  They nodded and pushed him out of the room, letting him pace and worry.  He decided to call the people in Xander's life in order, starting with the house.  "They took him back and are checking him over now," he reported.  "We'll be home in a few hours hopefully."  He hung up and called the harder one next, getting Alan nearly immediately, though he sounded very happy.  "Alan, are you done for the night?  No, Xander nearly drowned a few minutes ago.  No, he's being checked over.  Right after we restarted him.  Yeah, that's why I asked, man."  He rubbed over his face.  "He should be fine. It sounded like he was snoring when I drug him in here.  No, they were all for watching him at home but I'm a fussy guy so I carried him here.  Yeah, he should be fine.  No, call tomorrow around two.  By then we'll definitely know something and if he's only asleep he should be up by then.  Thanks, man.  No, I don't think it's anything but you deserve the right to know since he's yours now."  He grimaced. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound bitter about that.  I want him back though.  Fair warning."

He hung up and called his niece.  It was her mother, not Arsene's, so she deserved to hear it first.  "Melissa, answer," he muttered, putting in the emergency code.  It rang through, forcing her to get up.  "I've got Xander at the hospital.  No, not shot, princess, nearly drowned.  We had to restart him and everything.  I don't know why. I know that Janus was asked to look him over again but I doubt that was why he nearly died."  He choked down a sob and sat down, holding his head.  "No, I already told him.  Burst his happy mood totally.  No, he'll be fine.  I'm sure he'll be fine. Your dad was too but I wasn't too sure so I drug him here.  Yeah."  He looked at the cleared throat.  "Hold on, it's a nurse."  He moved the phone. "Is he all right? I'm on the phone with our daughter."

"He should be fine.  We should keep him for observation but his brain scan looks fairly normal, if a bit higher in a few areas.  Nothing out of the ordinary but I will be sending you home with antibiotics for any potential infection from the pool water.  He coughed up more of it."  Lupin relaxed and nodded.  "Want me to tell her?"  He nodded and handed the phone over.  "Miss?"  She heard the crying. "He'll be fine, Miss.  He's still got some minor congestion from the water, his brain waves look fine, if a bit high in a few areas, and his heart rate is steady.  No, we could keep him for observation if his lover wanted."  She looked at Lupin, who shook his head. "You're sure?"

"We've got most of the machines at home," he admitted. "We're only a few miles from here if something else happens."

"That's fine, sir.  Yes, miss.  That's fine.  Do you concur?"  She smirked.  "Because an actual family member does overrule a mere boyfriend unless he's got paperwork to treat.  Of course.  Thank you, ma'am."  She handed the phone back.  "She said that she trusted you to take better care of him.  Let me do another check then you can take him home."

Lupin listened to Melissa going off at her walls.  "Sorry to have woken you, 'Lis."  She berated him.  "I know, but we do have most of the equipment at home if necessary.  Yeah, that stuff.  Sure.  Yeah, I told Alan to call tomorrow around two, do the same, okay?"  He grinned lightly.  "Thanks, 'Lis.  Calm down and relax.  No, we asked Janus to look him over again.  I'm guessing it's because of that but I can't be sure.  Yeah, thanks, call Jigen to have him set up the monitors somewhere.  His bed, my bed, somewhere.  Thanks, 'Lis. You're a great daughter."  He hung up and went to check on him, holding his hand while the nurse checked him over. "Is there a problem?"

"No, just giving you time to calm down.  Are you all right?"  He nodded. "You're sure?"

"Very sure.  I'll be fine," he assured her. "I'm shaky but the liquor's at home."  She nodded, smirking at him for that.  "Thank you."

"It's not a problem.  That was the correct course of action."  She handed over the slip for the antibiotics.  "Here, for his lungs.  Just in case.  Also, what is he taking the pain killers for?"

"He's had intermittent problems with his knees and back," he told her.  "He's just coming off a session of medicine for it."

"That's fine, there was a question of that helping in this situation."

"No, he was fine earlier, just pissed at us. He went out to wear it out.  Thank you."  He patted Xander's face gently.  "Come on, Xander, lets go back to the car, babe."

"Lupin?"  He looked around. "What happened?"

"You nearly drowned.  You're fine though so I'm taking you home now.  Can you sit up and walk out to the car?"  Xander nodded, letting himself be led out to the car and buckled in.  "There you are."  He walked around and got in to drive them home, stopping to stick the prescription into the drop box at the local pharmacy.  Jigen could get it later for him.  He came back to the car and found Xander coughing.  "We can go back," he offered.  Xander shook his head and continued to cough so Lupin got him out and standing, letting him cough while bending down.  It helped and he spit up some more water.  "There, it's all right," he soothed, helping him back into the seat.  "Alan's going to be calling tomorrow around two, Xander."  He noticed a cop staring at him.  "He nearly drowned at the house."

"Oh.  Why is he naked?"

"They cut his boxers off at the hospital.  I didn't think about bringing more clothes."

"That's fine, go home please."

"I was just dropping off his 'scrip."  He got in to drive, taking Xander back to the house.  He helped him up the stairs and into his room since Jigen was in there.  "We in here?"  Jigen nodded, helping Xander into a pair of pajamas then under the sheets.  "There, you rest," he said, turning on the monitors. He pulled a chair over and sat down to watch him.  "I've got it."

"I can sleep in my own room," Xander offered.

"No, I want you somewhere you can be watched," Jigen told him. "You could start to cough more and it needs to be watched.  Does he have more drugs?"

"I dropped off an antibiotic at the local drug store."

"That's fine," Jigen agreed.  "I'll go down tomorrow to get it."  He patted Xander on the back.  "Don't worry us like that again, Xander.  I nearly joined you in the ER for my heart."  He gave him a gentle stroke down the arm.  "You rest and I'll make sure you get breakfast."

"I really can sleep in my own bed so Lupin doesn't have to sleep in the chair."

"If I'm that uncomfortable I'll climb in behind you but on top of the covers," Lupin promised.  "Don't worry about it, just rest, Xander."  He nodded and closed his eyes again, letting out a little cough.  Lupin looked up at Jigen.  "Drink?" he asked quietly.

"Goemon's pouring you one with his third."  Lupin nodded.  "I'll go get it.  You watch him and I'll be back up."  That got another nod so he went down to save the bottle from Goemon.  "You okay?"

"He nearly died," he said quietly.

"I know, so does he.  He just offered to sleep in his own room."

"I doubt he's going to be out of one of our attention for the rest of this month."

The phone rang, making them both jump.  "Yeah?" Jigen answered.  "Hey, Alan.  No, he's back here and fine.  No, they released him.  They gave him an antibiotic and said he should be fine.  He was up and complaining about sleeping in Lupin's room.  No, he's got the monitors and we wanted to make sure he'd be fine.  No, no funny stuff."  He snorted at Alan complaining about Lupin being so blunt.  "You knew that was a risk, man.  We both feel that way.  Xander's been the best thing in our lives for a while.   No, I know, I'm working on my problems and Lupin's working on his.  Sure, if you think you can stand Interpol bugging you for months on end.  Fine.  When you're done, call us and we'll bring you up.  Sure.  Thanks, Alan."  He hung up and shook his head with a moan.  "He wants to come up to visit for a weekend.   I figure we can last that long," he said at Goemon's odd look.  "At the very least, we'll see how to treat Xander properly."  He grabbed the bottle and two glasses, carrying them up the stairs.  He handed one glass to Lupin. "Alan said he wanted to come up for a few days.  I said I'd pick him up."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed.  "If Xander won't let us baby him, he will let Alan and he needs it."  He let Jigen fill his glass and gulped it, holding it up for another.  "You can sleep first if you want.  Wake me in a few hours."

"Sure."  Jigen downed his own drink and climbed in behind Xander, on top of the blankets, and hugged him.  "You rest, Xan, I'm here to watch over you tonight."  Xander mumbled something.  "No, he's coming up in a few days.  You rest."  Xander nodded and snuggled back into his arms, making him look so sad.  "He's done what so many dames tried to do, he tamed us, Lupin."

"Yeah, I'm not the party guy I used to be in my youth the first time around," Lupin agreed, pouring himself another drink.  "I'll be right back," he announced, going into the bathroom.

Jigen nearly got up but he heard the glass break and he knew Lupin wanted to be alone at the moment.  So he left him there and held Xander harder. It was the only comforting thing he could think of.

***

Melissa stomped into Arsene's room, not caring that she woke up her roommate or that she had a gun pointed at her chest.  "Mom just nearly died," she shrieked.  "Get your God's head out of his ass and straighten him the fuck out!"

Arsene sat up, staring at her in shock.  "Huh?"

"Mom nearly drowned to death," she reported.  "The two headed, immoral, asshole was taking another look at his life.  Dad just called from the fucking ER!"

"Calm down," Arsene said gently, getting out of the bed.  "We'll talk to him.  I'm sure he didn't mean to nearly kill mom.  Mom can swim you know.  I'm sure he's fine."

"Sure, they released him but they said his brain waves are off!"

"Okay, then let's unpack the altar and set it up in your room so we can have a discussion about this with him."

"I don't want him in my room."

"Fine, then we'll go wake up Lotus.  Grab the case while I put on something."  She gathered up her boxers and an old wife beater t-shirt, sliding them onto her naked body.

"Can't you wear clothes?" her roommate complained.

"No.  Clothes are for those who are self-conscious or cold."  She took the case from Melissa, walking her down to Lotus' room.  She tapped then walked in.  "Lotus, we've got to set the altar up in your room."

"Fat chance," her roommate complained.  "Some of us are Catholic."

"You can move," Lotus said quietly.  "What's up?"

"Mom nearly drowned because that...that...asshole was talking to him again!" Melissa said, her anger leaving her less than verbal for the most part.  "I want to go to wherever he is and kill his two-headed ass!"

Lotus sat up and pushed her hair back.  "What happened?  I know Mom can swim, he taught us all how to swim.  He used to swim on his high school team and do minor surfing. How did he nearly drown?"

"Apparently Janus was having a discussion with dad while he was swimming and he knocked him out," Arsene said with a shrug.  "Or at least that's what I got from the screaming so far."

"Out!" Lotus' roommate yelled. "I don't need to hear about pagan or heathen faith issues!"

Arsene took the direct approach and opened a window, then picked her up and tossed her struggling body out it.  "There, it's much nicer now," she sneered down at her.  "Do not make fun of my faith."  She closed the window, leaving the girl trapped in the tree.  Then she looked at Lotus.  "You know Janus hates my roommate, he makes all sorts of bad things happen to her.  Melissa doesn't want him this year.  So I guess you're it unless we want to sneak over to Ishi's room since he's got a single."

Lotus shrugged. "I don't care.  Put him in a corner and I'll try to keep from throwing my panties on him."

Arsene smirked.  "Like he'd care?"  She sat down in the small space between her bed and closet, working on setting up the altar on the top of her footlocker.  "Need anything in here at the moment?"

"I haven't unpacked yet," Lotus admitted.  "Let me do that first."  Melissa helped her unpack her trunk, and then the altar was rebuilt on top of it.  They were just getting to the lighting the incense when the hall monitor came in with the bruised roommate.  "Sorry, she had a problem with the family's faith of choice.  We're setting up Arsene's altar."

"I don't want it in my room!" the girl yelled.

"Then move," Melissa told her.  "I'm sure my roommate wouldn't care to live with you, she's borderline nun material anyway."  The girl glared at him so she backhanded her.  "Do not start," she growled.  "My mother nearly died tonight."

"That's what you get for having *fags* for parents."

Melissa grabbed the girl and pushed her against the wall by the hand on her throat. "I'd take that back, sweetie, Lavelle is my second father.  Sylvia is my mother and they're almost the same person, that's how I have two fathers and a mother."  The girl gurgled.  "Was that an apology?"

"Melissa!" the monitor snapped, trying to pull her off the poor girl.  "Let her go this instant before I have to call your father!"

"They're coming up in a few weeks anyway," Arsene said with a shrug.  She tapped the heads.  "This good enough or do you really need candles this year?"  They shrugged. "Good.  Then let's talk about how mom nearly drowned."

Melissa let the other girl go and came over to pick up the statue.  "This is not the way to fix it and I will make sure every last devotee to you is dead if you do not lay off my parents," she warned in a deadly cold voice.  "If you think I'm kidding, I can always work with Fred after I retrain him."  The heads blinked at her.  "Got me here?  I want mom to be *living*, not dead."

"It was an accident," one face told her.

"It did the trick though, it brought them closer together."

"Yay.  It's also bringing Alan up this weekend."  The statue groaned.  "Now then, what the hell were you doing!"  She shook it.  "How dare you nearly hurt my mom!"

"Melissa, he can't answer if he's dizzy," Lotus soothed, taking the statue and putting it back down, glaring at it as only a Goemon could.  "You do have some explanations to give.  That was not what was needed and her father didn't need to spend time in Hades' realm."

"No, he did not, nor did he.  He was on the dream plane and we miscalculated his ability to float when things hit him, like leaves.  We are sorry we worried you."

"You did more than worry us," Arsene assured him.  "Are you fixing it?"

"They're fussing over him."

"His temper is no longer an issue at this moment."

"He is no longer ready to rip into someone and kill them with his bare hands and teeth."

"He is no longer fighting them laying on the same bed as he is."

"He's also no longer fighting being cuddled.  That was the best part of what they are you know," the other side finished.

"Okay, enough," the hall monitor said, staring down at the statue.  "The rest of us don't need to know this much about their marital spats or things like that.  Lotus, did you want to have her moved?"

"Please.  She doesn't like me anyway."

"Those are fake."

"Really?  Because my mother was naturally a D-cup, twat.  They're very real.  Need to grope to figure that out?  I've already been promised a reduction surgery when I'm old enough."  The girl put her nose in the air and stomped out.  "I think she and 'Lis's roommate would do well together," she noted.  "She's very Catholic as well."

"That's fine, I'll find them a room together.  Melissa, would you consider rooming with Lotus?"

"They'd kill each other.  Melissa isn't one of those messy people and Lotus still throws her undies around," Arsene said as she finished her simple prayer to fix her family and to keep them sane, then bowed before standing up.  She looked at the hall monitor.  "I'd put it in my room but my roommate ends up plagued by bad luck.  Last time she broke her leg."

"That's fine.  Some people are distracted by thoughts they have when confronted with others of deeper faith."  She glanced at the statue again. "That is very good.  How do you do that?"

"Magic," Lotus said with a smirk. "Just like me."

"Okay then.  Could you room with that nice darling who's Druidic?  No one seems to understand her."

"Sure," Lotus agreed.  "We can try."

"Thank you. I'm worried about her sanity and I'm sure you two could come to some sort of understanding about the religion things."  She hurried off to get that girl out of her room, going to put the other two together in her room in the morning.  Then she made a report to the Headmistress, leaving out the talking statue.  That was just too weird, even for a Lupin.

***

Lotus smiled at her new roommate. "Hi, I'm Lotus."

"You have powers," the girl stated firmly.

Lotus nodded.  "Nature magic.  Arsene is a priestess of Janus so we've got her altar up here.  He likes to pick on her roommate, thinks she's pretty and should be his.  That a problem for you?"

"No, I keep a small shrine to Loki to make him leave me alone," she admitted.  "Will my works bother yours?"

"Only if they're blood magic.  I mostly work out in the herb gardens."

"That's fine.  Are you a messy person?"

"Sometimes.  Mostly it's laundry issues."

"That is also fine.  As long as they don't mingle too much we should be fine."  She held out a hand.  "Miriam.  I'm an Assassin candidate."

"I do both tracks, though I'm working with Lupin the Fourth.  I'm the only Goemon daughter this generation."

"Ah.  Then can you introduce me to your brother?  He's quite hot."

Lotus chuckled. "Sure.  He'll be up sometime soon.  By the way, he doesn't knock, neither does Arsene.  Melissa usually does."

"That's fine, I don't have many friends yet."

"Eh, we like strange people.  You'll fit right in," Arsene said from the doorway.  "You okay with the talking heads?"

"I keep a small shrine to Loki to make him leave me be."

"Hey, that's cool.  Set them up across from each other so they can chat," she suggested.  "We're heading down to eat.  Food, Lotus?"

"Coming.  Give us a minute.  Don't warn Ishi."

"Again, not an issue.  He could use a new girlfriend. He thinks he's so hot and we're all prettier than he is."  She smirked as she walked off.  She ran into Ishi and Melissa on a balcony.  "Hey, Miriam is Lotus' new roommate.  She's a Druid."

"Cool," Melissa agreed.  "Like Wyatt, we've got room at the table. This is how empires start."

Ishi nodded. "Very true.  Is Mom all right?  We can't wake anybody up."

"It's barely nine, I doubt you're going to get anyone up for another few hours," she pointed out dryly.  "When is Alan calling?"

"Two."

"Then try around lunch," she offered, walking Ishi into the dining area with Melissa following them.  "Now, let's eat and attend our morning of non-classes.  Then we'll do lunch and our afternoon of non-classes.  Why is it that we've only got two classes and they're both Wednesday afternoon?"

"To give us more time to work on our projects, like the Fiat," Melissa said happily. She walked up to the Gadgets and Gizmos teacher, still smiling.  "I was told to tell you that you're mostly ours now."

He snorted and nodded.  "So I've heard.  We'll work on the Fiat today while the others find out which place they want to hang out in."  He looked over as Arsene crumpled to the ground.  "Oh, dear.  Is she pregnant?"

"She's been threatened to not touch a boy until she's sixteen," she said, heading back to check on her. "Ishi?"

"Out cold.  Help me get her up to her room again."  They walked past Lotus and Miriam, and Wyatt was right behind them.  "She passed out."

"Hmm.  Sounds like a painful vision."  Miriam helped by opening doors and Wyatt got Arsene's door when her roommate wouldn't open it.  Miriam tested her forehead.  "I've got some wonderful tea for headaches, I'll let Lotus borrow the recipe if you want."

"Please.  Arsene reacts funny to some drugs."  They tucked her in and left her there, knowing that she'd tell them what was going on when she woke back up.  And since she was snoring, it was going to be a while.

"So, Miriam, do you follow a traditional faith too?" Wyatt asked as he escorted her down to breakfast.

She nodded.  "I'm a Druid.  My mother was a witch."

"Do you guys have your own schools?  Like Hogwarts?  Not to be offensive but I have no idea. My own family is Methodist and stodgy about these sort of things getting to me."

She snorted.  "No, no schools like that. It's a mentoring system usually."

"If I can ask, why don't you practice the same way?" Lotus asked.

"I don't have the power to do so.  So I took up the other family job, assassin.  Or at least I'm trying."

"Hey, try away, just don't try for us," Melissa said with a smirk.  "I'm dating Brad so not a big issue among us."

"Thank you.  My last roommate kept giving me fearful looks thinking that I was going to take her in her sleep."

"Ah, first years," Ishi said dryly.  "I get some of that in the boy's dorms."

"I get some of that in the girls' dorms, especially when I'm having a moody day," Lotus admitted.  "They think I'm the nice one."

The others laughed but Wyatt looked confused. "But you are the nice one, Lotus.  At least of the kids here.  You're willing to help anyone who needs it and you help tutor in a few subjects, plus you mentor a few of the younger girls.  You go even beyond the other ones by being nicer to us younger kids."  He noticed she was blushing so he grinned.  "Sorry if I embarrassed you.  Remember, I'll be spending my time behind a set of books, not dealing with people."

Ishi gave him a nudge.  "It's a family joke.  We've got two other sisters, Sarah and Alex.  Alex is a miniature whirlwind of activity and beats up on Fred and Kenji, but Sarah is the nicest, sweetest person you'd ever get attacked and hugged by.   She's Fred's twin and got all the propriety and all that from both of them."

"She's my baby sister," Melissa told him.  "She's also got a small heart condition so she's not worked as hard as the other kids."

"She sounds charming, is she going to be joining my field?"

"Actually, the current plan is that she's going to work with the kitsune, but with them and Mom fighting I'm not so sure about that," Lotus admitted.  "I'll have to see if I can check on that later."  She noticed the odd looks.  "They like Lavelle."

"Oh.  Okay," Miriam agreed happily enough.  "It's good to know that they exist."

"Yeah, if you really want to get into the strange and odd, you've got to talk to Lavelle when he's on downtime," Ishi offered.  "He knows all about those things.  He's from America."

"I bet he's very good at fighting them."

"He used to fight with a Slayer," Melissa told her.

"Then I shall try to make his acquaintance.  My sister was a potential and was dismissed from the queue because she was ill."

"Ethan's an honorary uncle," Melissa said as she opened the doors to the dining hall, noticing everyone was staring at them. "She's napping off the headache."  They went back to what they were supposed to be doing, gossiping.  They took their usual table and sat down with the new member, letting her know which seat would be hers.  Maybe she and Wyatt would start to date.  They'd be cute together if he grew a few more inches or a foot. Melissa grinned at Brad. "Hey."

"Morning.  Is your mother all right?"  She nodded.  "You're sure?"

"I'm very sure.  They didn't keep him and they sent him home to sleep and to take some antibiotics."

"Then I'm glad he's all right.  Some day I'm going to have to hit him for shooting me."  He grinned at her.  "Think he'll stand still?"

"Maybe. You'd have to ask him."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "At least you didn't have the drama we did last night.  Fussy roommates and all."

"Sometimes you get those.  I've had one in the past."  He grinned at Miriam.  "Hi.  I'm Brad.  We're in the same program. If you need help, I can tell you which upperclassman to bug."  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Hey, Wyatt, how's finances?"

"Yours are looking quite well, sir.  I've overlooked your portfolio and whoever set them up was nearly a genius.  I do have a few suggestions and I included them on a separate piece of paper so you could have the original person look them over."

"That's great, man.  Thanks."  He patted the kid on the back.  "What happened to Lupin?"

"We don't know, she passed out.  She's in bed snoring right now," Ishi offered.  "We'll check on her later since our classes are only on Wednesday."

One of the teachers came down. "Melissa, dear, can I have you mentor a few of the children doing the practical child care lessons?" the teacher pleaded. "They're so hopeless they're scared of infants."

"Sure," she agreed happily.  "It's not like I don't have free time."  The teacher beamed and patted her on the arm before going back to her seat.  "Can we do the running again this year?" she called.

"We'll see," the Headmistress called back.  "That depends on how many problems you give me, Miss Jigen."  She cleared her throat.  "That reminds me," she said, signaling for silence.  "Any student who has not qualified on the range must do so today.  Otherwise you will be put back in Elementary Marksmanship.  Even if you came in as a marksman you must do it every year.  Also, this weekend is the weekend you do your beginning test in any martial arts you practice.  Depending on discipline you'll either do it Saturday or Sunday.  For those of you with hacker qualifications I want them on my desk by tonight, just in case we get another virus this year.  Also, those of you in herbology who are taking healing and medic lessons will have to meet with that teacher tonight after dinner to arrange for lesson times.  Lupin the Fourth can make up her range qualifications once she's awake and checked over.  Make sure she knows, Miss Jigen."

"Yes, ma'am," Melissa called.  She looked at Brad.  "What do you have after breakfast?"

"Nothing, the same as you.  Range?"

She nodded.  "Yeah, I've got to qualify with both weapons.  She's waiting for her weapons though.  Hopefully I can get them shipped down soon enough so she can make her choice."

"Maybe they'll send Fred down with them," Lotus said with a smirk.  "I'm sure he'd like to get away from Bix for a while."

"How are your other sisters doing?" Wyatt asked.

"Married," Ishi said with a smirk.  "Lavelle said that if any of us broke and had sex before sixteen we'd end up married to that person or in a political marriage.  They both married into the Zenigata clan this summer."

"It was insane," Brad told him.  "There were cops everywhere.  The whole damn task force was in attendance and armed, and Lavelle teased and joked with most of them.  I was worried for his life with a few of them.  Vecchio looked really serious.  Not at all playful like he was when we met the first time."

"You've met him?" Miriam asked.

"He was undercover posing as my father for a while," he admitted bitterly.  "Looked just like him.  Fortunately he didn't have custody of me."  He shuddered.  "Then he shows up at the wedding and sits with us."

"Yeah, they should have put Ray K with us," Lotus agreed.  "He and Mom are convention buddies.  Vecchio and mom are just in some strange teasing contest ever since that kiss during that job to take down the maternal unit."

"I kind of liked Ray when he was here," Wyatt admitted.  "He gave very realistic lectures on why most of us are stupid coming out of training, and then the practicals proved it for most people, especially three of your group."

"They got arrested, it was their own fault," Melissa reminded him. "You managed yours, we managed ours, and the other two managed theirs.  Hopefully this year he won't be going against Arsene.  Has anyone seen him?"

"He's got to come out of rehab for steroids," Ishi said grimly. "He'll be back in a few days."

"Wonderful," she said bitterly.  "Then it starts again."

"No it won't.  We'll smash his head in this time," Wyatt said firmly.  "I'm not his flunky and I've instructed the newer children to feel the same way. As far as we're concerned, he can jump off the top of the school."  He smiled at Miriam.  "We'll point him out to you when he comes in," he promised.  She nodded, eating more of her food.  "What's your first class?"

"Econ."

"Oh, good, I'm in there as well. I can walk you down there," he promised, patting her on the hand.  "I'm the Assistant to the teacher so don't worry too much about it."

"He's a financial genius," Melissa said proudly.  "We got him through his practical exercise last year."

Brad coughed.  "Speaking of, the assassins get theirs this week.  Be on your toes."  He stared at his girlfriend.  "I know one of the teachers hates you."

She nodded.  "We had to thwart a few last year. We can do it again."

"It was rather fun putting that one boy into the barrel," Lotus agreed dryly.  "This year we'll have to get creative."  The others shuddered but Ishi smirked at her too.

"I think we can do that," he agreed smugly.  "Too bad the teacher herself is off limits."

A younger woman came up to Lotus, gently tapping her on the shoulder before leaning down next to her ear.  "Lotus, who did your surgery?  They're so good and I wanted to gt sent to him."

"They're natural," Melissa said calmly.

"Do I have to have someone feel them to make everyone figure out that they're real?  My family isn't really one for plastic surgery.  My dad would have shit elephants if someone suggested that to him," she said bitterly.  "Pick someone, I can prove they're real."  The girl nodded, jogging back to her table, and one girl nodded over, giving her an evil look.  Lotus shrugged.  "After breakfast."  She dug in, knowing that she'd need the food later on, if only to keep her calm.  "Who else is witnessing this?"

"I will," Wyatt offered.  "We've got a few minutes."

"Fine."  She looked at Melissa.  "Why don't you have this problem?"

"Mine aren't as big as yours," she pointed out.  "You about need architectural support in a bra.  I only need good support."

"Point, but it still sucks."  She finished off and headed out, waiting outside the room.

That girl followed and came back a few minutes later, looking stunned.  She sat down at her table and shook her head.  "They are real.  There's no implants."  That got more people talking.

"And she's not dating without our father meeting the person," Ishi called.  "Get it out of your head now."

The buzz quieted some but more people looked speculative.  What a challenge!

***

Jigen answered the phone, grunting into it to show it was him.  He sat up. "What?"  He groaned and shook his head.  "Thanks, man.  Any other news?"  He smiled.  "Even better.  No, I'm sure we can do that.  Sure, thanks."  He hung up and looked at Lupin, who was curled up against Xander's chest.  "Lotus had to be groped because a jealous girl decided hers were fake."  Lupin snorted, shaking his head a bit.  He didn't want to wake Xander.  "And they're down to two classes.  The rest is practical time."  That got a small grin.  "Also, Wyatt suggested that Fred or Sarah deliver the guns to Arsene, who passed out at breakfast and was carried back to bed, where she fell asleep."

"I wonder what she got the vision of," Xander said quietly.  "You comfy?"  Lupin nodded.  "Okay."  He closed his eyes again. "I still feel nasty and I need a shower."

"You can do that in a while," Lupin assured him quietly.  "Rest for now."  Xander shifted but he nodded and didn't make Lupin leave him alone, it was a good sign.  "Any other good news?"

"There was a roommate switch.  Lotus' and Melissa's roommates are now living together and Lotus has a Druid for a roommate.  Incoming second year assassin candidate."

"Good.  They should get along well enough," Lupin agreed.  "Any other good news?"

"Nope, just that.  Did you want Fred or Sarah to go?"

"Fred would find a way to get trumpeters to follow him in and a cape," Xander said bitterly.  "He thinks that since I'm a Prince of Hell, he's a prince of somewhere."

"We've already talked to him about that," Lupin promised.  "He'd simply bring it and hug and cuddle everyone."

"But Sarah would be nicer and not hit on the women," Jigen offered.  His daughter was so nice and sweet.

"But she hates guns," Xander reminded him.  "We could send Alex."

"No, let's stick with the older kids," Lupin decided.  "Fred, Sarah, or Kenji?"

They considered it, then nodded. "Fred," they said in unison.  He'd need to learn the school anyway.

Lupin picked up the phone to dial the other safehouse.  "Hey, Sarah.  Is Fred awake yet?"  He grinned.  "Thanks."  He looked at Jigen.  "She's going to pounce him for us."  He grinned as his son's grumpy voice came across the line.  "Son, would you like to deliver something very special to Arsene?  Yes, you'd get to go to the school.  I'd hire someone to drive you up there and you could deliver it and then come back a few hours later."  He smirked.  "I thought you might like to spend some time with your sisters.  Sure, you can even gift wrap them in a pretty box, how about that?  No, we're sending Arsene her special guns.  Thanks, Fred.  We'll send them to you tonight and you can go on Friday."  He smiled as Bix snatched the phone.  "I'm having him deliver something to Arsene on Friday.  No, I'll have him escorted and driven.  Don't worry about it, Bix, you'll be unpinched for a whole day."  He smirked.  "That's fine, we're nearly out of here anyway.  Sure thing.  Nope, guns.  Expect a delivery person.  Thanks, Bix."  He hung up.  "She thinks he's too young."

"Arsene was pulling jobs at eight."

"I'm pretty sure he'll start by the time he's ten," Lupin soothed.  He snuggled back in.  "Let me cuddle?" he asked.  Xander nodded, yawning over his head.  "Thanks, Xan."  He closed his eyes, content enough for the moment.

Jigen laid down behind him, getting comfortable too.  There wasn't any way he'd be missing Xander cuddles.

***

Inspector Zenigata walked up to the Academy's registration desk.  "Another two to preregister," he said happily enough.

"Ooh, daughters too?" the receptionist asked.

"Daughters-in-law," he said grimly.  "It's the two who wanted to be cops."  She looked stunned so he nodded.  "The crook set the rule that if they got broken in before they were sixteen, they'd be marrying them.  So they did.  They still want to go to the Academy.  You may have paperwork on one of them."

"I believe we do," she admitted, finding it and putting the two applications together, stamping them both.  "Here, take them into the office and explain it to him.  He's the one who'll have to make the decision."  He nodded, taking the three of them in there.  "That poor man," she sighed, smiling at his back.

Zenigata knocked briefly then walked in, saluting the higher officer.  "Sir, my daughters- in-law request entry to the program as preregistrants."

"Close the door."  He kicked the door shut.  "I've heard about your new family members.  At ease, Inspector."  Zenigata relaxed.  "They're sure they want to be cops?"

"Well, one wants to work in the lab and the other wants to be Ray Kowalski," he admitted dryly, "but they've always wanted to be cops, sir."  He handed over the applications.  "Their fathers sent them to as many youth police camps as they could find.  This last one was the one they snuck away from to get married.  Interestingly enough, they married the wrong nephew. The one who wants to work in the lab is married to the one who wants to be a field inspector."

"That is very interesting.  They know that they may have to chase their families?"

"No one would let them chase any of the Lupin gang, sir, of any generation.  The same as other officers can't chase their own family.  It's against regulations."

"Good point."  He looked them over, then nodded at the experience section.  "Very well, I will provisionally admit them for this summer session.  We're running the candidates for next year who wanted early admission then.  Have them ready and outfitted for the camp."

"Yes, sir."

"How are they finding married life?"

"So far they don't seem to mind it.  Both their fathers set up trust funds in reputable banks who swore to me that it was legitimate money when they got it.  They're secure and mostly happy.  Sierra isn't as happy as she could be, she hates her new school's uniforms.  Said they're scratchy."

"I'm sure she'll learn to live with it.  Thank you, Inspector."

"You're welcome sir, and thank you.  I'll tell the girls tonight."  He saluted again and walked off, whistling happily once he got outside.  This was very good news for his kids. Not that he agreed with them marrying but it was helping settle those two down and into the life easier.  It'd be an easier transition to the Academy and the life afterward.  Now if only Dawn would ease up on him about this 'no more kids' rule of hers, he'd be the happiest guy in the world.  His mother had so liked her when they had met and she loved her grandchildren.  Besides, it'd keep Dawn out of those leather catsuits of hers.

***

Fred walked into the school and smiled at the big person standing there.  "I'm delivering an important present to Lupin the Fourth," he said loudly. He had been instructed to only call her Lupin the Fourth in the school unless they were totally alone with just the family. "Where is she?"

"She's at dinner, young man," the teacher said, smiling down at him.  "This way."

She led the way back to the dining hall, letting him get the door.  Then he flipped a switch in his pocket and the blaring sounds of trumpets went off.   He smirked at the shocked looks.  "I have an important present for Lupin the Fourth and I'm amazing.  I'm a messenger of doom."  He spotted Ishi so walked that way, coughing loudly in the quiet hall.  "Lupin the Fourth?"  She smiled down at him.  "You're supposed to nod," he hissed.  She nodded.  "I've got a message from Lupin the Third.  Use them, they're your destiny now."  He handed over the pretty box Sarah had covered in wrapping paper for this.  Then he climbed up in Melissa's lap to see what he had been delivering.  "Oooh," he moaned.  "Pretty."

Arsene pulled out the first gun and tested the weight.  "Very nice," she agreed.  She checked the clip and the barrel, then the tag on the handle.  "From your dad, 'Lis.  The one he was gifted with."  She put it back and pulled out the other one and this one felt perfect in her hand.  "From Mom and it's just perfect."  She saw a third one and pulled it up, looking at Fred.  "I thought we only had two."

He grinned.  "The lady gave me that one for you.  She said you had earned it already."

She uncovered the plastic around it and felt the grip conform to her hand.  She smiled at it. "Thank you, Fred."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Did daddy think to send holsters?"

"They're in the car.  They're in a big tangle.  They're leather."

"I'll go get them," Ishi offered, taking Fred with him.

"Is that what I think it is?" Melissa asked.  Arsene nodded, letting her look at it.  "You were gifted with a .48 of your own," she said in awe.  Lupin smirked at her.  "Wow.  I'm impressed.  I can't wait until I get mine."  She handed it back carefully.  "Which one's your primary?"

"All of them.  We seem to need massive firepower whenever we get shot at."  She took the mass of harnesses and worked on straightening them out, putting on a dual shoulder holster and a back holster.  They were light enough for that.  Plus there was a thigh holster for some of her outfits.  She armed herself then grinned.  "Very nice.  All lightweight too."

Her family clapped, happy that she had passed that step.  Fred got up to hand the card to the pretty lady at the head table like his father had ordered him to. "For you."

"Thank you, Fred."  She opened it and read, smiling at it.  "You are very helpful."

He smiled and looked around, heading for a young woman who was pretty and blonde.  "I'll have girls like you some day," he said.  "Wanna join now so there's no waiting in line?"

She gave him an odd look then looked at Lupin.  "Your brother just propositioned me," she called.

"Be thankful, he used to attack and suckle," Lotus called back.

The girl shook her head down at Fred.  "I don't think you're old enough for me to jump in line yet, Fred, but when you are I may take you up on that.  You're very cute."

He scowled.  "I'm not cute!  I'm a messenger of doom!  My daddy said so."

"I'm sure he did," she agreed, smirking at him.  "When you're sixteen, look me up and we'll see what sort of trouble we can get into."

"Do I *have* to wait that long? I was going to steal stuff on the way home."

"No, you can do that on the way home," she promised, patting him on the head.  "You just have to wait to have girls."

"Na-uh.  Daddy had girls when he was *eight*.  I'm seven.  I can have girls."

"Fred, quit hitting on her, she only likes older guys," Ishi called.

"Fine," he complained all the way back to their table.  "Daddy had girls when he was eight."

"They were his nannies, Fred," Melissa said patiently.  Arsene shook her head. "No?"

"Nope.  He had sluts at eight. Grandfather hired them to start his non-practical education.  Apparently it's always been an early thing among the males in the family.  Great- grandfather had his first one at twelve, he rescued a girl from a slaver. He kept her for nearly a year then sent her away.  Grandfather was a late bloomer, he didn't have his until fifteen, again hired by the old guy for his amusement and education.  Daddy had two of them when he was eight and was broken in at fourteen, to *every* facet they could think of.  Daddy said he would have hired me someone but since I was a girl he wasn't sure it was appropriate.  So maybe Fred will get a few of them when he's ten or so."

"I don't wanna wait," he complained.

"You're too little for anyone but the sickos," Ishi told him.

"Fine, but then I get tits all to myself, no sharing with Yu or Kenji."

"I'm sure our father would appreciate it if you didn't share," Lotus agreed, smirking at him.  "So, you like blondes?"  He nodded, grinning at her.  "Well, she is pretty so you've got good enough taste.  How are you getting home?"

"Airplane.  We're still in Germany."  He looked up at his sister.  "Will you tell me if my plan is bad?"  She nodded, leaning down so he could whisper in her ear.  "I wanna do that," he said proudly.

"Well, it's ingenious but remember security guards, Fred.  They'll be mean and hurt you or give you to someone like a cop."

He nodded.  "I know.  I've got gas."  He beamed at her.  "Will daddy be proud?"

"He'll be very proud, even if you do get caught," she promised, giving him a hug.  "Were you staying tonight?"  He nodded.  "That's fine. Where's your driver?"

"Outside in the trunk."  He smiled sweetly.  "He was saying mean things."  He settled in to help her eat and untangle the remaining harnesses, helping Melissa into hers.  She was doing a back waist holster like her father.  Later that night, Fred snuck out of his sister's room and went trolling, finding his pretty one all alone...and asleep.  He curled up with her, getting comfy on her chest.  They were very nice to lay on.

***

Lupin looked up as someone pounded on the front door, getting up to answer it.  "Yes?" he asked the man standing there.  His son was handed over.  "What did he do?"

"He rented three pros, all blonde with big hooters, and stole two things on the way back without me realizing it," Kowalski said in disgust.  "Keep the filthy little beast away from me, Lupin.  He farted on the guards and made them pass out!"  He stomped off, going back to his car.

"That's my boy!" Lupin said proudly, hugging him.  "Let's go tell Mommy, he'll be so proud of you!"  Fred grinned up at him.  "Did you do anything else?"

"I snuggled up to a girl at the school but she found me the next morning and screamed, then went to cry in the shower for some reason.  I don't understand girls.  They're soft and comfy in the right spots, but she didn't want to cuddle at all.  I thought all girls liked to cuddle."  He grinned at his uncles.  "I'm a good boy."

"He stole two things and hired three blondes, all without letting Ray know," he said proudly.  "And he found a cute girl at the academy too."

"Um, Lupin, he's just a little boy," Xander said carefully.

"Grandfather hired me my first working girls when I was eight, they attended to me and taught me about women."

"No wonder you've got such a skewed view of them," Goemon noted, shaking his head. "I'm proud of you, Fred.  Very good work on the thefts."

"Thank you, Uncle G.  Mommy?"

"I'm very proud of you, honey."  He kissed and stole him to cuddle.  "You're a wonderful son and I'm very proud of you."  Fred beamed.

"Good job, kid," Jigen agreed.  He handed him Xander's soda.  "Here, a treat."  Fred gulped it, not noticing Xander's look over his head.   "You don't need soda, Xander."

"Yes, let's not have a repeat of yesterday," Goemon agreed quickly.  "No more bouncing, please."

"But bouncing is fun," Fred complained, grinning at him.  Then he grinned at his father.  "Daddy, when can I start to pick up girls on my own?"

Lupin sniffled.  "That's my boy," he said proudly.  "A real Lupin male."  He stole him to hug.  "I'm so proud of you.  And he farted on the guards to knock them out," he said proudly.

"Well, we knew Mexican food was deadly," Jigen noted dryly.  "You can't pick up women until you can drive, kid."

"I drove Unclie Ray's car," Fred offered, grinning at him.  "He was being grumpy so I had him locked in the trunk for a while.  That's why I had to call and ask for directions to the school."

"Wait until your body starts to react to them, Fred, it'll make it better for both of you," Xander instructed.  Fred pouted but he nodded.  "Thanks, son.  What should we reward you with?"

"Disney?"

"No!" the other adults yelled in unison.  Interestingly enough they all looked scared of that suggestion.

Xander snickered.  "After we're unstuck from here, Fred.  What do you want before then?"

"Can I have a pretty?"

"A pretty what?" Goemon asked cautiously.  One never knew about a Lupin.

"A pretty pretty," Fred said with a grin.  "Like sissy's new hairpins?"

"Sure, if you can find something you like, we'll give it to you," Lupin promised, grinning at his son.

"Good, then I want Uncle Jigen's pretty," he said, pointing at the choker.

"Well, anything but those," Xander admitted. "They're stuck on them, Fred.  They can't take them off.  They wish they could and so do I, but they can't.  Janus won't let them."

"Besides, then you'd have to be a girl," Goemon told him.

"Then I want the pretty statue in the case in the library," Fred decided.

"Sure, we'll move it and the case up to your room," Jigen promised.  "That way it's up there when you guys get back."  Their son smiled at them all.

"So, son, tell me about this girl.  Was she pretty?" Lupin asked, taking his son to the study to show him how to run the empire.  He was more than worthy of it.

"I'm glad my family has less stringent standards for proving your masculinity," Goemon said dryly.

Jigen snorted.  "We knew Fred was a Lupin from birth.  He nearly didn't give up the tit when he had one."

"Don't remind me," Xander agreed dryly.  "If I was still breastfeeding, I'd never get him off."

"Fortunately you won't have to worry about that," Jigen said bitterly.

Xander gave him a long look.  "You know, Janus only said that there'd be no more kids coming from *my* body, he never said anything about you two."  Jigen shuddered and whimpered, then walked away shaking his head.  "Just giving you a thought," he called after him.

"That was mean," Goemon pointed out gently.

"Just offering an option since he and Lupin have empty nest feelings," Xander told him.  "I'm not doing it again but Jigen's always wanted a son."  He heard the phone ring and went running for it, grinning at the voice on the other end.  "Hey, Alan.  How did you get an earlier flight?  Yeah, if I can.  If not, I'll hire a car to come get you."  He gave Jigen a goofy grin as he walked past him with the keys.  "You don't have to, I can do that."

"I said I would, you go clean your room.  It's like the dvd collection exploded."  He walked out and felt the boundary shift around him to let him go free.  "Why does Janus like Alan?" he complained as he drove.  It was nice to be out of the house but he knew he was a short chain so he only stopped for cigarettes and liquor.  Everything else could be delivered.

***

Alan looked into Xander's room and grinned at the furiously cleaning person.  "Did you make a mess?" he asked with a smug grin for his boyfriend.

"I sure did.  I was going through Ishi's Gundam collection," he admitted sheepishly.  "I'm almost done if you want to come in."  Alan strolled in and plopped down on the bed to watch his man clean.  Xander stole a kiss and smirked at him. "I've mostly been a good boy."

"So I've heard," he agreed, tracing the soft lips.  "Hurry up so I can get a real hug and a kiss."  Xander pounced him, making him chuckle and take whatever he was offering this time.   He finally stopped the boy by pushing him back so he could look at him.  "We can wait for another weekend if you feel odd," he offered.

"Hell no," Xander said, shaking his head.  "I'm tired of waiting.   You're mine now," he leered, leaning back in for another kiss.

"Mommy, can you teach me how to play with boys?" Fred asked.  "That way I understand them just as well as I do girls?"

"Later, son.  When you're older.  Close the door, Fred."  Fred closed the door and went to pout to his father. "Sorry, he's being a true Lupin male," he said with a small shrug and a grin.  "He propositioned a blonde and tried to hire three hookers too."

Alan chuckled before kissing him again.  "I can tell that he's your son.  Are you sure?  I don't want to be the rebound or stress relief habit that you pick up."

Xander sighed and laid beside him.  "I don't want you to be that either, but I know what'll happen if I take them back.   It's like magic, wonderful and painful all at once, but it's not all of me and eventually I'll have to go back to being just plain, old Xander.  And real Xander's don't do magic for their living.  No matter how much easier it would make things."  He flipped onto his side to look at his man.  "You remember how I told you about conventions and things, right?"  Alan nodded.  "Well, Lupin started off saying I was addicted until I took him but now he enjoys it for different reasons than I do.  But he doesn't understand what I get out of it, not really.  You get what I get out of dressing up and all that, right?"

"Kind of."  He brushed some of the silver hair back.  "I'm not stepping out of the way, Xander, but you've got to figure this out.  It'll drive you nuts and we'll end up being torn apart if you don't settle thing with him, even if you do take them back for a few months until they mess up again.  Otherwise you'd always wonder."  He gave him another quick kiss.  "Just remember that I'm going to be stalking you from the shadows.  If they so much as step wrong, I'm going to be back."

"I've said what I've had to say, Alan.  I told them I'd work with them but I'm not sleeping with them.  I don't want to be their toy and that's what I was to them, that and a stress relief habit. Sorta like how I used pros for *way* too long.  I'm a convenient hole, a source of temporary amusement, and something to kill time.  Like how we go out on dates.  Real dates where we do things like go to the movies.  We never did that.  We went dancing a few times but usually I had to whine my way into doing those things."

"Which is why you could never be a real recluse, dear," Alan pointed out, grinning at him.  "I like taking you out on dates."

"Hey, I like dating, I haven't dated in *years*.  Not since high school.  Not since Cordy have a I really dated.  Anya wanted to stay in most of the time.  I never dated in LA, I went clubbing and had sex.  When I got with them, it was like finding what I was great at and then having it slowly tarnished until I was ready to leave.  There were plenty of days when I knew that all I was to Lupin was a convenient hole and a planning helper.  The same as I knew Jigen only put up with me because I was good. So I started to pull more stuff on my own, and they never realized it.  It was like I was invisible unless I was right in front of them and then I was partially ghostly to them.  Then the choker hit my life and things got odd.  I did it so they'd like me after I got out of it the first time because I got attention, I got cuddled and loved and even some mild dating.  It was like they suddenly saw a version of me that they could stand, and then...then I got pregnant."  Alan shuddered.  "Yeah, that was my feeling about it too," he said bitterly.  "I was trapped in that cycle and I couldn't get out of it because the kids needed me.  Now that I'm free of that, I'm not going back.  I almost backslid there for a while but I managed to not get stuck fully. I just can't go back to that."

"Did you ever think that you should leave them?"

"All the time," Xander sighed, "but that would have brought more problems."

"You can do it now."

"If I do, then they'll age.  I'll be responsible for bringing down this generation of the empire."

"They're guilt-tripping you into staying, Xander."

"No, they don't deserve to be punished that badly," he assured him.  "It's just so unfair that I find someone who makes me happy and the others come begging and pleading.  It's like I feel that the old girlfriends should come back too.  Like the cycle wants to suck me back into it."

"So leave.  Janus can't keep you here.  He's the reason you got sucked in that cycle in the first place."

"No, he's the reason I survived it," Xander explained.

"He's the one who made sure you got pregnant!"

"No, he's the reason that I was female when I delivered.  The Powers nearly let me do it all as a guy.  Imagine that labor."  Alan shuddered.  "Exactly.  That choker let me survive and get the group out of a lot of things, but I can't do that now.  I can't be that Xander.  For that matter, I don't want to be that Xander.  I'm tired of being mutating personality boy.  I'd like to just be plain, old Xander again, like you let me be."

"Then be yourself.  You can be goofy and odd.  I like you like this, but you may still have to take them back to get out of this one.  In which time, I'll be there waiting for them to bugger up again.  The first hint of abandonment, you're coming back."

"I can't, Alan.  It's like a cult.  I'm willing to retire for you and to get rid of a lot of older stuff to do that."

"You'd be miserable and most of your friends are in the life, Xander," Alan gently reminded him. "You'd be so miserable and then I couldn't be funny because you'd be too miserable to be around."  He stole another quick kiss.  "Now, enough of this, we can talk about that later.  Finish cleaning up and show me around this large and imposing house."

"Sure, Alan."  Xander slid to the floor, wincing at the sound of something breaking. "Um, remind me to order Ishi a new copy tonight and to forge the signature on it, okay?"

"Sure.  I can even help with that part," he promised.  "I rubber stamped people's pictures for a few weeks."  Xander grinned and finished cleaning the floor up, then helped him up and out into the hallway.  "Do all of you live here?"

"Marcus and Lotus live upstairs, near the magic stuff."

"That's right, the last time I saw Marcus he was being weird and otherworldly."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "He popped around to talk."

"Oh.  When?"

"A few weeks ago.  How do you do that popping around thing?"

"Magic."  He stopped to frown at him then grabbed the nose and twisted, taking the mask and making his ex howl.  "Bastard."

"But it was the truth, Xander," he pleaded as his lover walked away.  "He'll tell you the same thing when he gets here."  Xander slammed his door, making Lupin wince.  "Ow.  I'm so in for it."  He turned and found Goemon standing behind him.  "What?"

"You're never going to get him back that way," he noted calmly.  "Using him is not what he needs."

"I'm not!"

"You are, that is the way he'll see that stunt of yours."  He walked past him.  "I'm off to make some ice tea.  Xander, I'm making iced tea, would you like some?"

"No thanks," he called from inside his room.  "Boil Lupin for me."

"That would make very bitter tea," Goemon pointed out as he headed down the stairs.   He saw Jigen pull up alone and opened the door.  "Where is he?"

"His agent grabbed him for lunch, he said he'd call once he had a moment to yawn.  He'll be driven up tonight."

"That's fine.  Lupin just pretended to be him."

"Is he still living or should we plot a burial?"

"No, Xander walked away and slammed his door."

Jigen nodded.  "Then he's in a good mood."  He walked the note up the stairs, tapping on Xander's door. "You lost him to his agent for a few more hours," he said, holding out the note.  "I'll meet him at the train station and bring him up when he calls later."  Xander sighed as he read the note.  "That's how acting is, kid. You've got to take the moments you can get.  You okay?  Goemon told me."

"I haven't killed him yet."

"Did what he said make sense?"

"No.  Especially not that stuff about stalking me if you two fucked up again.  Mostly because he knew I'm not going to allow a next time."  He looked up at his mentor.  "I love you, Jigen, and I'm in love with you both, but you suck at being boyfriends and I want more."

"That's natural.  I'd have left too."  He walked Xander inside and sat him down, staring down at him.  "How many jobs did you pull without us?"

"If you had been watching me, you'd have known," Xander said bitterly.  "I pulled something while you were sulking in Barbados.  Minor shoplifting to make sure I could do the job."

"We'd only been together for three months."

"Yeah but I had to prove to myself that I wasn't wasting your time and making another failed Xander life move."  Jigen nodded, pulling over a chair to sit down across from him.  "I've done a number of them.  Half the time when you told me to go away for a night I went and either picked a target and practiced what I would do or I'd go do a job."

"Why didn't we hear?"

"Why would you?  I wasn't known to be your student until Stockholm."

"People knew you were with me in New York."

"And if you had watched, I was mentioned a few times on the bulletin boards.  Mostly for sleeping with someone to get her printing plates."  Jigen raised an eyebrow.  "For passports."  He pulled over a pillow to hold.  "For that matter, I started to do a few things and ran into you guys so watched you guys operate from the shadows to learn more things.  I'm even blamed for a few things you two or three pulled as a group."

"Huh?" Jigen asked.

Xander groaned and pointed at his desk. "Burgundy book, year one.  It starts about six weeks after you took me in.  It's not only a diary of all the clubbing and who I slept with but other things that I did.  I thought I might turn it over to Alan to see if he wanted to play me in the movie."

Jigen found the book by the gold '1' on the spine and opened it, starting to read.  After a few pages, his mouth fell open and he looked at Xander, who simply nodded and waved for him to go on.  He kept going.  "I knew that we were being watched."

"I was blamed for that job in Jamaica," Xander said bitterly.  "I was also nearly arrested for doing that job."

Jigen looked in the drawer, noticing how many journals there were.  "You stopped after five years?"

"I had to.  I couldn't describe what it was like.  Plus when I tried, they got lost in the general shuffle after the dimension closing."  He laid down, using his pillow to rest his head on.  "You can borrow that one."

"Can Lupin read these?"  Xander shook his head.  "It might help if he knew."

"If he had given enough of a damn about me, he'd have heard me doing them.  It's not like I was hiding most of it."

"Fine, I'll respect that.  Can I go back to my room?"  Xander nodded so he took it back to read on his own bed, marveling that he actually got a whole hour without interruption.

Lupin strolled in.  "What are you reading?"

"Xander's work journal."  He took it back when Lupin snatched it.  "He said you can't read it."

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't think you cared enough to figure out what he was doing at that time," Jigen told him.  "If we had been paying attention, we would have stopped him a while back."  He took it back again.  "He said you couldn't.  Go get permission. This is from the year we were training together."

"Anything really juicy?"

"Yeah, he used to follow us around to watch us."  He looked at his best friend.  "Remember that job in Miami?"  Lupin nodded.  "Yeah, he was there."

"Where?"

"He went after your second target and put it back when he realized you'd be going after it.  He was hanging from his ropes from the ceiling."

"Noooo, I would have seen him," Lupin said slowly.

"Goemon?" Jigen called.  His door opened.  "That job back in Miami, did you see someone else in there?"

"There was a suspicious shadow from the skylight," he offered.  "I was not sure what it was."

"It was apparently Xander."   Goemon looked impressed.  "He was putting it back."

"What about Jamaica?  I heard that word mentioned when I was eavesdropping."

"Oh, he was nearly blamed for that job because he was watching us for pointers," Jigen said dryly.

"I remember seeing someone there," Goemon agreed slowly.  "I was not sure who it was however.  I hadn't seen your apprentice at that time."  He came in and took the book to look at the cover.  "Xander's?"  Jigen nodded.  "May I?"

"Only if you get his permission."

"Agreeable," Goemon said.  "Xander?" he yelled.  "May I read the book as well?"

"Go ahead," was yelled back.

Goemon flipped open the book and sat down to read it, humming every few pages.  He started to skim, then looked at Jigen.  "He was more talented than you figured?"

"I didn't think that he was ready to do more than shoplift but he said he did that to make sure he could do the job earlier than I thought he was ready for.  Apparently he was a lot better than we gave him credit for.  Pity because I didn't have a tithing thing set up with him until after Stockholm."  He stretched out on his bed.  "He's got a few others in there too.  This was just our first year together."

"He was very...."  Goemon blushed and turned the page.  "Now I know why he's got his reputation among the working girls."  He flipped another few pages. "Hmm, he's the one who gave Madam Mui a loan.  I had always wondered who did that so she could expand."

"He was?" Lupin asked, looking bothered by that.  "Why?"

"Because she was giving him a lot of workouts for a discount," Jigen said wisely.  Goemon nodded.  "How many pages?"

"Six.  Then a small stalking and back for more for another.... eight pages," Goemon said when he found the end of that section.  "Very impressive."

"Very, but he put it to good use," Jigen said dryly, smirking at Lupin.

"Yeah, and I want it back!" he said, getting up to talk to Xander.  His door was locked but that's why he was a thief.  He picked the lock and walked inside, closing the door gently.  "Xander, can I read them?  That was before we were together and Jigen said that you were pretty impressive."

"Fine," Xander sighed.  "I guess that's fine."

"You know, each and every time you do this to us, I get more and more impressed."  He scooted closer.  "You could have just *told* us though.  Jigen wouldn't have been upset."

"I was watching you guys for training tips."

"Obviously you learned a lot."  He stoked Xander's face, smirking at him.  "The more impressive you are, the more we want you."  He gave him a grin.  "Please?  Just a kiss?"

"No.  Not after earlier."

Lupin sighed and shifted a bit closer.  "I'm sorry but I wanted to know.  I thought I did pretty good."

"You also ate olives for lunch."

"Good point."  He grinned again.  "How else am I going to get to know you?  You never let me.  You don't talk to me."

"I would if you asked."

"Okay, would you tell me?"

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know the real Xander.  You know, that complicated guy who used to love me and would do anything for me, that guy?  I want to know him and all the inner parts of him.  Because he's a really complicated guy, even worse than most women, and I can't quite seem to scratch the surface coating this time."

"That's because you never really try."

"I do try, you don't let me try.  You keep shooting me down."

"You didn't try when you were supposed to and now you've lost the chance."

"So give me one more shot?  Please?  I promise, Alan is in Paris, but he's talking about a new movie deal.  It's going to be a while."

"I'm not cheating on him!"

"I'd never ask," Lupin promised.  "Just talk to me.  Maybe cuddle me, but I could handle just talking to me."

"Sure, I can talk to you.  What did you want to talk about?"

"How about what's in that book?"

"Sure.  What did you want to know?"

"Tell me about Miami?  I never even saw your shadow but Goemon and Jigen said they did."

"Sometimes you're not the most observant guy during jobs.  You never noticed me a lot of times, Lupin."

"Not that way."  Lupin kissed him then smiled.  "I do see you.  I see you a lot, just not when you're hiding in the shadows."

"Really?  What did I have for lunch today?"

"You weren't with us."

"I was down at the end of the bar."

"Oh."  Lupin grimaced.  "Um, I saw PB&J."  Xander shook his head.  "No?"

"No."

"Ham?"

"With peanut butter?"

"Tuna?"

Xander shuddered. "No.  Never mind."  He flipped onto his back.  "What did you want to know about the journals?"

"Did you pull anything while you were in training?"

"I did and I tried to tithe you but you refused."

"I didn't think it was more than a small necklace."

"No, it was a few more pieces than that."

"How many did you take?"

"I did the spring collection."  Lupin looked impressed.  "I know you told David that we couldn't but I had already hit it.  As the news later that night showed."

"So you robbed at least ten grand worth of jewelry and I didn't get to see any of it?"  Xander pointed at his closet.  "You *kept* it?"

"No, I kept a few pieces as an emergency and retirement fund.  The remaining ones are in there in the small cask."

Lupin got up and went to look, staring at the small wooden box he had never seen in here before.  "When did you get this?"

"Out of your closet, it was empty."

"It was," he agreed, pulling it out.  "I never said you couldn't borrow it, but I want to see what you're stashing in there."  He opened it and whimpered, looking at his lover.  "I love you.  You never try to screw me out of it the way Fujiko used to.  You only hide it from me and tempt me."  He poured it out and then whimpered again.  "Holy Mother of God," he hissed.  He held up a long strand of set carat diamonds, looking at the few foot strand.  "Wow."

"Very wow.  And it was made as an ancient sex toy too.  I got it out of the Ottoman museum.  It belonged to a favorite concubine."

"See, I didn't think there'd be anything in that place so I never gave it a second look," he said with a mild pout.  "Are there other good things?"

"Mostly artwork and maps, and there's one map I want a closer look at but I'm not allowed back in there.  They recognized me the last time I tried to go in."  Lupin frowned at that.  "Even in disguise.  They've got some way of telling it's me.  I'm guessing it's one of the guys who used to work in Athens."

"Probably, but I'd go in for you if you asked," he offered.

"No, they warned me to keep all you guys away from there.  They might not know Melissa or Ishi, but I'm sure the rest of you would be spotted fairly quickly."

"Hmm, that's an idea," Lupin agreed, thinking quickly.  "We could work that into the kids' coming out party.  Have us do somewhere and them do there?  Are there other targets nearby?"

Xander rolled his eyes.  "Two or three.  There's a Byzantine museum near there too.  It's not heavily guarded and it's got murals and some limited art.  Nothing really worth it."

"So what's with the map?"

"It's the routes they took on their routing of Europe.  I figure if they hid anything it'd have to be along those lines."

"Good thinking," Lupin agreed with a grin.  "We'll find a way to get a copy of it."  He leaned in and kissed Xander gently.  "I didn't forget why we're here.  Now, tell me about some of these things?  Why did you keep these and not the other stuff you stole?"

"Well, I kept some of that too.  Mostly because I wasn't sure I could get rid of it," he admitted dryly.  "There's a warehouse you don't know about, even here."

"Where?" Jigen asked from the doorway.

"Chicago."  Jigen shuddered.  "Hey, I figured that since at least one of them was leaving, it'd be safer there with no super cops around."

"Good point," Jigen agreed.  "We should go storm that place and dump it before we're overheard."  He held up the blinking scanner, looking at Lupin.  Who looked at the stuff in his lap and hands.  "It's not there.  I'm not sure where it is."

"It can't be from the stuff from the other timeline.  Most of it's not here," Xander reminded him.  He looked around his room but nothing was recent.  Except one thing.  He picked up the statue and sighed, tossing over the bug.  "How did Ray do that?" he asked it.

"I'm not sure, but thank you, it itched."

"You know, this could complicate matters very badly," Lupin sighed, looking at the small bug.  "That's very nice though.  We should repgrogram it."

"Later, Lupin.  We've got to get there to make sure it doesn't disappear back into the hands of bad taste," Xander said grimly, glaring at the statue.  It shook its heads.  "Fine, I'll call the kids then."

"They have to stay in school," Jigen reminded him.

"They've only got classes on Wednesday. It shouldn't take them that long."  He picked up his phone and dialed his daughter's cell.  "Hey, it's me. We just found a bug up Janus' ass after talking about the Chicago warehouse.  Yeah, that's what I was thinking too."  He smirked.  "Fine, thirty percent?"  He snorted.  "For selling?  Fat chance.  Fine, one thing *each*.  And tell Ishi to not sell my costumes since one showed up over there.  Send them to the deluxe warehouse.  Thanks, precious.  No, I know you're not a ring.  Sure, have fun. Laters."  He hung up.  "They'll go liquidate it for me."  He laid back on the bed.  "Your daughter is more mercenary than most fences, Lupin."

Lupin smirked.  "That's my girl, never being shortchanged."

"But you're not supposed to play like that with family," Xander pointed out.

"Deluxe warehouse?" Jigen asked quietly.  Xander looked down at his legs, blushing a bit.  "Uh-huh.  Give, Xander."

"You were there, you just never ended up down there," Xander told him, giving him a sideways look.

Lupin leaned forward and pulled him closer, kissing him on the tip of the nose.  "You can't hide that stuff from us, I'll pout.  Got it?"  Xander nodded, giving him a goofy grin.  "And you can't hide behind that persona either, Xander.  We want to know all of it.  It's the only way we can work together."

"Are you sure you still want to work while you're being cursed by that choker?" Xander retorted.

"Yeah, sometimes," he agreed bitterly.  He gave him another quick kiss, watching Xander's frown come out.  "Now then, what's this about a deluxe warehouse?"

"It's for the stuff I know I can't or don't want to sell.  Like the paintings in the gallery downstairs that your grandfather did but I'm not that fond of art."  He shifted, laying on his side.  "It's in the house down south."

Jigen picked up the scanner and ran it around the room, nodding when he was done.  "We're clear as far as this thing can tell."

"Go check Fred and Fred's room," Xander suggested.  Jigen nodded, going to do that.  He came back with a few more bugs, all of which went out the window.  "Anyway it's in the level between the fishies and the garage."

"You'll have to show us once we're out of here," Lupin assured him, smirking at him.  "What sort of stuff?"

"Well, one thing I'm going to get killed over.  I didn't realize that desk statue was Heinrich's.  I sent it back, telling him it had been offered to me, once I did find out but I didn't know that before then."

"He knew," Lupin offered.  "He called to tell me you had a lot of class by sending it back and if you ever *found* the other portion to send it back too.  He's not mad, he said you couldn't have know it was his since almost no one did."

"True," Xander agreed dryly.  "The other half's in Chicago though."  He dialed Melissa, but Lupin beat him to it.

"Hey, 'Lis, there's a statue in Chicago that belongs to a fence.  Yeah, that one.  Really?"  He smirked at Xander.  "Who was listening?"  He nodded.  "Good job, have fun with that, make sure he gets it back.  You can call him directly if you want.  Sure, thanks.  Love you too.  Feed Arsene chocolate."  He hung up.  "Heinrich was tapping into the wiretap.  He's going over to collect it himself and she said he told her he's still not mad."

"He will be. It dropped last year during a nearby explosion. It's got a dent. But it knocked the map into place."

"Ehh, he'll live," Jigen offered.  "What about Mexico?  You really shouldn't keep some of that stuff, Xander."

"I don't keep much," he defended.  "Maybe one percent."

"All that stuff that came back when we changed timelines was one percent?"

"No, I have having some statue longings," Xander admitted bitterly.   "Usually I only keep about one percent unless there's something special.  Mexico has a few of those.  The rest is really just a retirement or an emergency fund."

"That's fine, we'll be going down there to look it over," Lupin assured him.  He tweaked him gently on the nose.  "We love you anyway, Xan.  You can't change that by hiding stuff from us."  He gave him another short kiss, looking over as someone cleared their throat from the doorway.  "Hey, Alan.  He was just explaining how he'd hidden stuff from us for years."

"I said I'd pick you up," Jigen reminded him.

"I was picked up by that nice inspector," he said with a shrug.  "He saw me at the train station digging for change."  He grinned at Xander.  "Are you all right?"

"I've got a headache, will you come cuddle it away?"  Alan smirked and came in to give him a hug.  "We'll talk later, guys."  They wandered out, Jigen closing his door for him.  "It wasn't what it looked like."

"I know what it was, Xander.  They truly want you back."

"They've run out of chances," Xander said firmly.

Alan gave him a gentle kiss.  "Hush.  Let's work on your headache first and then we'll work on that other stuff.  Jigen told me all about it while he was driving so I understand a lot more than you think, dear."  Xander tweaked his nose.  "What was that for?"

"Making sure it wasn't another mask.  Lupin tried that earlier."

"He just wanted to be as pretty as I am," he said smugly, making Xander grin at him.  "Now, let's rest and chat.  Cuddle up."  Xander curled up on his chest, stroking him gently.  "After this, I'll expect to be a victim of your impressive skills in the bedroom," he warned.

"Hmm, I can see that," Xander agreed.  "I'd like to see you panting and begging."  He grinned up at him.  "That good with you?"

"Of course.  Once we're out of this house.  That way no one can spy on us."

"If they try I'm going to kick their asses," Xander promised firmly.  "There's no spying allowed.  Not even by Fred.  Did he let you in?"

"Actually, the housekeeper did.  Fred told her to."  He stroked through Xander's hair, making him one happy boy.  "I feel like such a pervert because you look so young."

"Nah, I'm the pervert."  He stroked the nearest thigh.  "You're just someone who lets me wear out my naughtiness."

"I haven't yet."

"But you will be," Xander promised with a grin.  "How was Rue St.?"

"Interesting. You're right, it was very fun and naughty, and everyone stayed mostly away from me once someone asked who I was.  Apparently telling them my name was more than enough, someone knew we were together."

"I'm guessing one of the information brokers was in then," he said smugly.  "Did the cute little boys try to dance with you?"

"They tried," he agreed dryly, "but they wanted to do more horizontal dancing for the most part.  Since I wasn't going to cheat.... they decided the dance floor and buying me drinks was enough."

"Good.  I've held off Lupin, you held off the little gay bottom boys.  I'm a happy guy," he said happily, grinning at him.

"Has it been hard?"

"Very," he said.  "Lupin is nothing if not insistent and the talking heads over there are just as pushy."  They nodded, making Alan squeak.  "See what I mean?"

"You must be able to work with them comfortably, Xander," one of the heads told him.

"It would make you happy if you could unbend and take them back as well," the other offered.

"Um, robotics?" Alan asked hopefully.

"Nope," Xander said dryly.  "Just Janus."

"Okay then."  He looked down at Xander. "You do live in an odd world."

"He talks to Arsene too."

"And sometimes to Lotus and the bigger Arsene," one of the heads muttered.

"Thanks for sending her that vision. It would have been horrible if they had been kept by those slavers."  He looked up at Alan.  "And you thought my life was funny."  He tweaked him on the nipple.  "You know, this is where I kept those journals."

"I still say your life wouldn't be the best movie, love.  A good comic book...." he said, letting it trail off while he grinned.  "You'd need a whole series before the movie so people would have an idea."

"I didn't want to submit the idea to my company, I thought it'd look like I was being pushy."

"You are pushy but they'd understand that.  After all, you've never been pushy before."

"Yes I have, about the Buffy comic.  They slowed it down, which raises its value, but they're still putting it out.  I did let the artist read some of my back Chronicle so he'd have a better idea what was going on.  Now Buffy's a more realistic comic book."

"So, give the guy yours as well.  I'm sure it'd be a wonderful one," he promised with a smirk.  "You're a wonderful subject.  Then I can play the older you in the movie version when it's time."  He gave him a short kiss.  "You should rest so you can molest me later."

"I should.  Wanna watch the Lupin Gang anime with me?"

"Sure, ducks, we can do that."  He let Xander up so he could put in the DVD then accepted him back to be held.  Xander liked to cuddle him and hold him.  "They really made an anime of you guys," he said in awe at the opening credits.

"In the other timeline," he agreed quietly.  "They knew it'd thrill me so they came up to me at a convention.  Of course, it was one of those where I had a horde of groupies so I get picked on for that."

"A horde?" Alan asked dryly.

"Sixty-three school girls who wanted my attention. I had to pass some off to Ray and Myron, and then I had to pass some off to the other guys when they came in to talk about the anime."

"You're an odd man, Xander."

"Yeah, but I'm fun," he agreed, kissing him on the neck.  "Ooh, here comes the good part."  Alan went back to watching, knowing it made his lover happy and this way he could get another view of the group's dynamics.  No one was stealing his man.  He shot a glare at the statue before watching some more.   "Why don't you take your Chronicle and your journals to this guy.  He seems pretty decent."

"I've thought about that but then again he's seen a copy of an episode when I was watching it in my office in Japan and he wanted to know what was going on."  He nuzzled gently.  "They did a good job on Zenigata and Dawnie, don't you think?"

"I think they did.  Dawn does look just like her."  He could feel the grin.  "How did you know she came up to me?"

"I keep tabs on the little troublemaker.  Especially since she's hooked up with the cops so firmly."  He nuzzled him again.

"I'm not having our first time be in your ex's house," he said firmly.

"Of course not.  I just wanted to cuddle and nuzzle.  As soon as I'm free and you've got a free weekend, I'm taking you somewhere pretty and locking us in the hotel room for the weekend."

"That's fine, I can accept that," Alan agreed, handing back the ringing phone. "Yours."

Xander flipped open the cell, sighing into it.  "What's up Bastian?"  He listened to the quiet report.  "Any idea who?"  He grimaced.  "Thanks. Yeah, I needed to know that.  No, just stand down about it.  We're all here right now and I can definitely protect Alan from them.  Thanks for the head's up, man.  Sure.  Be at peace and be well."  He listened to the quiet request.  "Sure, go ahead.  Do you need me to write to the security company?"  He smirked.  "Hey, I'm all for impressing lovers.  Go ahead and use the building in London if you want.  There shouldn't be anything *too* bad in there.  Sure, not an issue.  No, no payment needed, man.  That's fine.  Have a nice vacation with the honey."  He smirked.  "Of course.  Remember, if you make a baby on the bed, I get to name it."  He laughed.  "Good idea, man.  There's some in the cabinets as well.  Yup, sure.  Bye."  He hung up.  "We've got a legion of vampires coming this way to hunt my ass down," he said in a fond tone of voice.  "Bastian wanted to take his girl to the house in London for a vacation."

"I remember it was very pretty the night we stayed there," Alan agreed, smiling at him. "Go warn the others, I'm not moving."  Xander hopped up and went to tell the others, who were down in the kitchen by the way he was heading.  He glared at the statue again.  "Mine.  I don't care if you talk, pick your nose, or scratch your ass.  He's still mine."

"Fine," they agreed in unison.

"As long as they can work together," one side noted.

"Then Xander will continue to live and be yours," the second side agreed.

"At least until his life places you in danger," the first side finished.

Lupin walked in and took the head, looking down at it. "Don't upset him that way, Xander doesn't need that and we like Alan.  He makes Xander happy."  He put it back down and covered the altar, then looked at Alan.  "That doesn't mean I won't steal him back.  He was mine first and you know how addictive he is."  Alan nodded, freezing the video.  "Then you know you've got a fight to keep him.  I'll do anything to have Xander back, Alan.  Even if I have to cheat."

"I figured as much when he said you pretended to be me.  How long did it take him to realize?"

"About ten minutes," Xander said from the doorway. "Problems?"

"Janus was telling him that they liked you two together, but that someday someone was going to come for Alan," Lupin told him.  "I told him to quit and covered the altar.  I didn't think you wanted Alan to hear about things like that."

"That's cool.  Thank you, Lupin."

"Sure, Xander."  He and Alan shared a look, then he kissed Xander before walking out.

Xander shook his head as he laid down. "He's pushy but he was nice while we were actually together," he said quietly.  "Unfortunately he cheated on me and he ignored me for way too long."

"I understand, Xander.  You need attention, it makes you happy."  He gave him a gentle kiss and Xander moaned, thrilling him to no end.  Lupin hadn't gotten a moan.  "Let's watch more and cuddle, love.  We can think about more than that later."

"Sure, Alan."  He snuggled up behind him and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder, watching it with him.  He chuckled.  "Those demons aren't very realistic but they were gentle with me.  It was a nice change."

"I'm glad someone was," Alan offered, stroking the arm over his stomach.  "Aren't you uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, but I'm fine."

"Here, let's switch around.  I'll hold you for a change."  They shifted, letting Xander get in front and Alan laying behind him to hold him.  "There, how's that?"

"Much nicer than the last time I was grabbed, which was by a cop."

Alan kissed him on the cheek.  "Never change, Xander.  You're very special."

Xander chuckled and snuggled in harder.  He liked his Alan snuggly.

***

Xander woke up from a horrible nightmare, screaming 'no' at the top of his lungs.  Gentle hands soothingly stroked his back and his arm, trying to calm him down but nothing was going to stop that.  He looked at the person beside him.  "Jigen?"  He nodded.  "Where's Alan?"

"In the kitchen.  Lupin's making dinner."  He stood up and pulled Xander up, hugging him.  "You okay?"

"Fine.  Bad dream," he said in a shaky voice. "Don't let him leave."

"Shh, it's all right.  It was just a dream.  It wasn't like the one that had you sent back in time, right?"  Xander shook his head.  "Then it's just a dream and it'll be fine."

Alan coughed from the doorway.  "Another one?" he asked, coming in to steal Xander and take him into the bathroom to help him clean up.  "What happened?"

"The vampires ate you," Xander said, looking at him.  "You and Lupin got into it.  He offered to play Russian Roulette with you to prove he loved me more and you left, stomped off after telling him off.  The vampires got you and I had to st...stake you," he said, stumbling over that word.

"It'll never happen," Alan promised, giving him a strong hug.  "No nasty undead thing would ever *dare* try to bite me.  You'd get them first," he soothed, stroking Xander's back.  "Now, let's get you cleaned up for dinner.  Would you like a real shower or just to scrub your face?"

"I'll wash up, you can wait if you want," he offered.

"I'll be here until tomorrow morning."  He sat on the seat of the toilet, watching his man clean himself up.  "Did I tell you I got offered the best part in the world?  I got offered a new movie as a staring player."  Xander grinned underneath his washcloth, he could see it.  "It sounds like something you'd even watch, it's a funny movie."

"You're a funny guy, it's good that they realize that," Xander assured him, giving him a quick kiss.  "I love you."

Alan looked at him. "You're serious?" Xander nodded.  "Absolutely serious?"

"I love you enough to retire for you, Alan, to get rid of *everything* and retire to be with you.  I thought about selling some of the old stuff and buying a pretty house on the beach for our downtimes if you wanted."

Alan looked at him, mouth hanging open like he was shocked.  "Xander," he said quietly, pulling him over to kiss him.  "Just as soon as we're out of here, I'm holding you to that weekend away.  Even if I have a show, we'll still do it, I'll make you come watch me."  He kissed him again, ignoring the cleared throat from the doorway.  "Yes, Melissa?  When did you guys get back?"

"Just now.  We can't leave for Chicago until the morning so we came home for dinner," she offered, smirking at her mother.  "Hi."

"Hi.  How's school stuff?"

"Good.  Daddy and Brad are talking downstairs.  Ready for dinner?"  Xander nodded, drying off his face.  "Another nightmare?"

"Yeah, and we're due for a vampire attack anytime now, so it may not be safe tonight," Xander told her, giving her a brief hug.  "Come on, let's go eat.  Your uncle can cook very well."

"Too bad he's such a miserable prat to you," Alan muttered, looking at Melissa, who smirked at him.  "No fantasizing us together, young lady.  We're pretty but you are his daughter."

She giggled and hugged him.  "You fit mom so well," she assured him.  "We're happy as long as he's happy.  Remember that.  Or else," she said with a smug smirk.  Alan shivered but nodded.  "Good, let's go save Arsene and Lotus from Fred and his lips of doom again."

"He hired three hookers on the way home," Xander told her, putting an arm around her shoulders.  "Do you mind us?" he whispered.  She grinned and shook her head.  "Thanks, baby girl.  Alan had a really good idea," he announced as he walked down the stairs.  "He wants me to give my Chronicle and journals to the guy who did our anime."

"That way I could play the older version of him," Alan agreed as he joined them. "There'd have to be a following first."

Jigen nodded, looking at the food being put onto the table.  "It'd make a good comic book.  Very dark but a good one.  Xander's like some comic hero anyway some days."

"Especially with the vampires coming," Melissa agreed. Arsene groaned and held her head.  "Maybe tonight, maybe not."

"If they do, you're not allowed to help," Xander told them.  "Neither of you are proficient with a crossbow."

"Good point," Arsene said, happier now.  She hated the strange and odd things like that.  "So, are we leaving early tonight?"

"Let me check to see if they're going to get here tonight," Xander offered.  "That way you can help your father gush over Fred being such a little Lupin."

"What did you do?" she teased, grinning at her baby brother.  "Did your plans work?"

He nodded, smugly smirking at her.  "It did.  I stoled two whole things and hired three pretty blondes," he said proudly.

"Oooh, you are *such* a good boy, Fred," she cooed, getting up to hug him, making sure her chest was nowhere near his mouth.  "You are so a good little Lupin.  Yes, you are, and you're gonna join me in the field when you're old enough."

"How did you get the guards at the second place, Fred?" Lotus asked.

"I farted on 'em!" he said proudly, smiling at her.  "I'm a good boy!"

"Yes, you are," his sister cooed, hugging him again. "You're a very good boy, Fred."  She squeaked and got away from his mouth.  "At least until you tried that."  She sat back down, rubbing the sore spot.  "Next time, don't bite."

"Sorry, sissy, but they were very soft and comfy."

"She's still your sister, you may not attack her like that," Goemon said firmly.  Fred pouted at him so he stared him down, getting a rebellious little boy, but one who would comply for now.  "Thank you.  How goes your lessons, Lotus?"

"Very well, father.  My teacher wishes a word with you about how far he should be taking my training.  He wanted to know if he should send to get me a formal apprenticeship after I'm done at the academy.  He was thinking a Cat style teacher."

"Fat chance," Ishi said dryly.  "If you're going to be an assassin, you're going to have to take on the family roles."

"Fine," she agreed, frowning at him. "Pushy bastard."

"Enough," Goemon warned.  The children settled down.  "Thank you.  It is nice to know that being away at school has not made you two like each other more," he said dryly, "but we do not need to show that at the dinner table."

"Yes, father," Ishi said dutifully.

"Father, would you please instruct my brother that I am more than capable enough to find a boy I like and date him, and that I am old enough to do so now?"

"You are," he admitted, "though I will be meeting anyone you are serious about long before you get to the point where you're introducing him to the rest of the family."  He saw her roll her eyes.  "Daughter, as you're the only one, you will be over protected.  You should have realized this by now."

"Feel lucky your brother lets you look at or talk to boys," Jigen pointed out with a smirk.  "Is he a nice kid?"

"No."  She ate a bite of dinner.  "He's another assassin candidate."

"He's a surly guy but Lotus seems to make him hum and smirk more often," Brad offered.  "A bit dark and gloomy for my tastes."

"It's good to know you won't be stealing him from me," Lotus offered, smirking at him.

"The last sparring session they had together, he noticed Lotus walking in wearing normal clothes and a bra, so he fell to his knees," Arsene told everyone.  "Then he arranged to be her partner and kept getting thrown over her hip so he could get close to them."

"Apparently he's a lot like Fred then," Alan offered.  "Do you like this boy, Lotus?"

"No, he's shallow, but he is supposed to be a good kisser and he would be someone I could do my homework on. Or with, depending on the assignment.  He believes that all women should only use their wiles to get attacks if they're in the field.  I've proven him wrong quite a few times.  Fortunately he never met the maternal donor."

"I will meet this boy if you become serious about him," Goemon ordered.

"Yes, father, but he's only there until we graduate.  I'd never search him out after that.  He's too much a braggart and boring."

"Daughter, perhaps we should have a talk about you stringing men along?" Goemon suggested in a tight voice.

"Father, calm yourself.  I'm still a virgin.  I merely needed someone there to escort me to things like dances and to practice on.  You'd rather I took up with a woman?"

"No," he admitted slowly.  "I would rather you not pick up bad habits from your natal mother's repertoire.  That is very close to what she used to do to your Uncle."

"Eww.  It's not like I want to *touch* him, father. He's merely there so I'm not all alone all day while the others work on their areas."

"That is fine, daughter, as long as you do not use him and he agrees that he is no more than a friend.  Has your brother threatened him yet?"

"Once or twice," Arsene said dryly.  "As did we.  Ishi made sure he got him for the last spar of that class and sent him to the local clinic because the school's nurse couldn't deal with his injuries."

"I merely dislocated his shoulder and broke his arm in two places," he said quietly.  "He had no business pulling a Fred and trying to suckle on her.  The teacher agreed with me."  He stared his sister down.  "As I'll gladly do to any other male who touches you without first meeting father and the rest of us, and who does not respect your womanly nature."

She threw her fork, getting him in the shoulder.  "Shut up, Ishi.  I'm just as skilled at kicking butt as you are.  Or shouldn't we talk about *your* friend?"

"I'm not dating her," he said with a grunt as he pulled out the fork and handed it back.  "Witch."

"Often," she agreed, her eyes narrowing. "Should I prove it?  Perhaps a shrinking potion?"

"Enough," Jigen called.  "Kids, quit PMSing on each other."

"Son, you should not string along a lover either. It is not honorable.  Either date the girl and let us meet her if it is serious, or let her find someone she can be serious with.  Stringing her along is dishonoring her family."

"Dad!"

"Son!"

"Fine," he said, glaring at his plate.  "I'll introduce you the next time you're down."

"Which would be for your mastery tests," Jigen offered gently, staring him down.  The boy blushed.  "She good?"

"No, she's quite wicked and evil at times, but she's rather fun and happy to be with me.  She says I give her naughty ideas every time she looks at me.  Fortunately the other girls do know her."

"She's the goth chick with the blue hair," Melissa offered.  Goemon shuddered, remembering her apparently.

"You know, I always wanted to take some goth kids and introduce them to real vampires," Xander said fondly, smirking at his nephew.  "Is she good to you?"  He nodded.  "Good, then get serious about her for a bit.  Unless she's under sixteen or ends up pregnant, we're not going to force you to marry her yet."

"Thank you, Uncle, for being the reasonable one yet again."

"Hey, Mom, can I hog you or dad after dinner?" Melissa asked casually.

"Sure," Jigen said with a grin for his princess.  "We'll take over the study."

"Thanks, daddy."  She glanced at Brad then went back to eating.

Xander grinned at Alan.  "You're going to be lurking upstairs if we get attacked tonight, right?"  Alan nodded quickly so Xander kissed him.  "Thanks, love.  You'd make a great vampire but a very scary one and I'd have to let myself be turned."

"I'm sure I'd enjoy you just as you are," he offered, smirking back at him.  "You are so transparent," he mouthed.  Xander winked and dug back into his food.  It was like he knew he was going to need the calories later.

"Not to be impolite or anything, but please don't keep us up tonight, Mom," Lotus requested gently.  "Some of us can't sleep on planes and haven't been able to since we were taught to shoplift on a plane."

"We'll be quiet," Xander promised, smirking at her.  "Otherwise it might be counted as a lesson."

"Um, no, most of us are starting out with the opposite sex," Melissa told him.  "I can't get much about boys from watching you two go at it, mom.  Really, I can't."

"How else would learn to pleasure the male body?" Alan teased.

"Trial and error.  A lot of trial and error, which I hear is kinda fun," she retorted with a grin.  Her father choked.  "It's okay, daddy, I know I'm not sixteen yet."  She rolled her eyes. "Pity, but I'm not."

"With the way you look in some of your off-duty clothes, it's a pity for many people," Brad assured her quietly.  He looked at Jigen.  "Sir, your daughter is so very pretty that I've found myself nearly worshiping at her feet.  Would that bother you?"

"Yes," he said, staring him down.  "Not until she's sixteen, kid."

"Daddy, it was never clarified. Are we talking no sex period, like intercourse, or are we talking oral sex, or groping sex, or any cuddling sort of stuff and touching stuff?  Where is the sex line for the sixteen cutoff?"

Lupin got up to get Jigen a drink, handing him the bottle and the glass, and watching as he drank straight out of the bottle.  It was Xander who answered. "We would prefer nothing at all," he instructed.  "There will definitely be no oral, anal, or vaginal sex, but we will be discussing the groping issue between us adults later," he assured her.

"Thank you, sir.  She's too damn pretty sometimes and I have to keep myself from grabbing her and kissing her stupid.  Even in classes sometimes," Brad admitted.  "Then Ishi hits me on the head with his scabbard."

"I still like the time he dragged you into the freezer with him," Arsene teased, smirking at him.  "That was very pretty."

"It was," Brad agreed, shifting slightly.  "I never knew tops could look like that on a girl."

"I was wearing that white top," Melissa explained when her father glared at her.  "You know, the one that barely shows my bellybutton and has the strings?  That one."

"With her white skirt and she looked like some angel sent down here to be debauched as an offering, sir," Brad explained.  He shifted again.

"Freezer's in the kitchen on this side," Lupin told him.  Brad gave him an odd look.  "You wouldn't be the first.  I've seen her in a bikini and forgotten how old she was."

"Eww," Arsene noted bitterly.  "She had better not become my new step-mom, daddy, or else I will be sick and hand you to Gramps."

"It'd never happen," Jigen said firmly.

"Thankfully," Goemon agreed, shaking his head to clear that mental image.

"You have a bikini?" Brad asked, looking very interested.

"Yes, but it's too small so I had to get a new one," she admitted with a smirk.  Brad kissed her gently.

"My sissy!  Get off her!" Fred yelled, struggling to get free of his booster seat.  "Only I get to kiss sissy!"

"You'd better not," she snorted, staring him down.  "I'm not liking you as a boyfriend, Fred, only as a little brother.  He's a boyfriend, that's different."

"I'll explain it to him later," Xander sighed, shaking his head.  He grinned at Alan.  "Welcome to my insanity.  Did you sign the visitor's log so we know who you are after you take on a persona and start to do odd things?"

Alan snickered.  "This isn't so bad, Xander.  He's not attached himself to her yet."  Fred finally got free and came over to hit Brad, but Ishi captured him and held him while he pouted at the bigger boy.  "Fred, she's always going to be your sister, but girls like her need to have boyfriends who can cuddle them in different ways.  The same as you wouldn't want to do to them what you wanted to do to those hookers earlier."  Fred pouted at him, looking very pitiful.

"Fred, just because I like Brad doesn't mean I'm going to ignore you.  You're still my baby brother," Melissa said patiently.  "He's just different. You'll understand it when you start to see girls all the time.  Boyfriends are different than brothers, they're allowed to kiss and grope when brothers aren't."

"Don't worry, son, soon you'll have a lot of women to grope so you won't miss being yelled at for trying her and Lotus," Xander said dryly.  "Now get back in your seat and eat your dinner."

"Lotus still mine?" Fred pouted.

"No, Lotus is her own," Lotus said dryly.  "No one gropes me but me, little man.  Not even you."  He pouted at her.  "Don't worry, you'll get a lot of women to grope soon.  Just give it a few years and we won't even yell at you for it."

"Okay," he said miserably, letting his big brother put him back into his seat.  "I still like you best.  You have pretty breastes."

"Yes, but they're not for brothers, they're for boyfriends," Lotus reminded him.  "Speaking of, I need to go bra shopping again.  They're too tight yet again."

"Jeez," Jigen sighed, shaking his head.  "It's like you're inflating them or something."

"No, if I had my way, they'd shrink, Uncle Jigen.  I hate the things.  I'd rather be flat chested any day of the week."

"Do they make them bigger?" Xander asked.  Lotus nodded, giving him an impatient look.  "Just checking.  Remember, last time we had to order most of yours."

"They go up to cup size K, mom.  Trust me, I've already looked and ordered two new ones.  And hey, maybe if I'm *really* lucky, I can avoid those girls who think they're fake, yet again."

"Someone thought you had implants?" Jigen asked.  Lotus nodded. "Did you solve it?"

"I let the twit grope them and she spread it around that they were real.  She's envious now.  I offered to share if she could find a doctor to give her some of mine.  I'm tired of the back and neck aches."

"We'll work on finding someone good to cut yours down to a D cup, Lotus," Xander promised.

"B?" she asked hopefully.

"C," Lupin told her.  "You'd look odd so small."

"Bet me!  I look like a fucking porn star now!"

"DAUGHTER!" Goemon snapped.

"Sorry, father, but I do.  And I'm looked and watched like I'm one too.  Or a stripper."

"That's one way to create a diversion," Arsene said dryly.  "I'm very happy I'm only a B cup."

"I wish I was," Melissa said bitterly.  "Let me tell you, a B would be much nicer than a D."

Jigen took another drink before looking at his daughter.  "If it's giving you fits while firing, we'll talk about you getting reduction surgery too."

"Thank you, Daddy! I love you," she said, leaning across the table to hug him.  Then she hugged her boyfriend.  "Isn't that so sweet!"

"Is it," he agreed.  "I wouldn't mind you being a B."

She grinned at him.  "You're so sweet too," she said, kissing him.

"I'll ask around," Alan offered.  "I know many people who've had plastic surgery done and they've got to have some references."

"Sure, it sounds good to me," Xander agreed happily.

"You don't want them going to the clinic you run?" Lupin asked.

"No, because I know the imp inside the machine and I don't want him watching the girls."

"Oh, okay then," Jigen agreed, taking another long drink.  "Groping is not allowed, daughter."

"But, dad!"

"No.  Groping often leads further and most boys can't stop."

"Sir, if I could just pleasure her, I wouldn't need more," Brad offered. Jigen moaned and took a longer drink. "Sorry, sir."

"No, it's good that you want to worship her," Arsene offered, patting him on the hand.  "The problem is that he doesn't think you'll be able to stop with just tasting her.  Which would definitely break the rules and would get her married off really quickly."

"Why don't you have a boyfriend?" Brad asked her.

"Because I'm presently stringing four along and I haven't decided yet who gets the honor of breaking me in the day after my birthday."

"Oh, okay," he said, shrugging it off.  She was a Lupin, they were known for their sex drives.

Lupin the Third stole the scotch and gulped some of it down to take that image out of his mind.

"So, is a handjob all right?" Arsene asked.  "That wouldn't lead to much but it would soothe some feelings."

"No!" the three fathers said firmly, glaring at their respective children.

"You know, you created those rules for the ho's who just got married," Lotus said dryly.  "We're the good ones as it turned out.  We should be allowed to renegotiate."

"Daughter, I will find you a chastity belt and put you in it," Goemon warned, squeezing his utensils so he wouldn't hurt anyone.

"Yes, father," she said meekly, going back to eating very quickly.  "I am over sixteen though."

Goemon got up and went outside to calm himself down before he had a stroke.  He loathed his children and his former wife some days.

"Lotus, remember, he follows *traditional* values," Jigen said quietly.  "He may find you an arranged marriage if you come home with someone he doesn't like."

"Then I'd kill the intended and walk away," she said smartly. "Only I get to say who breaches my body."

Lupin moaned again and took another drink.  "You're all still on birth control, right?  Ishi, you're using it too, yes?" he pleaded.  They all nodded.  "Thank you!"   He went to sit with Goemon, hoping he could erase those images for him too.  Or else he'd have horrible nightmares all night.

"Lotus, let's leave off this discussion until you've found a man to bring home to your father.  Remember the rules we set up, girls, and Ishi," Xander reminded them.  "No casual sex."

Arsene's eyes lit up as she stared at him.  "Good point.  What about picking a good one for our first time?"

"That's different," Jigen admitted.  "We'd rather it meant something to you however."

"Sure, Uncle J.  If the situation arises," she agreed happily enough, digging back into her food.  "Daddy did a really good job this time."

He did," Melissa agreed, digging back in as well. She nudged Brad, who started to eat as well, even though he was blushing.

"Maybe we'll get some tanning time in while we're in Chicago," Lotus offered.  "I'm pale as paper right now."

"Maybe," Melissa agreed.  "I do have my new suit with me."  Lotus grinned at her. "Maybe on the way back?  We will need to hand in the check."

"As long as you don't torment me or the fathers with your lewd bathing costumes," Ishi complained.

"I won't," Melissa sighed.  "Geez, Ishi, move forward a few centuries.  It's not like I'm skinny-dipping.  This time."

Brad gave her a sideways look.  "You do?"

"It depends on where I'm swimming," she offered with a smirk.  "I like to skinny-dip in ponds more than pools."  He licked his lips but shot Jigen a look and went back to eating.  "Five more months and one week," she reminded him gently, stroking his arm.

"Melissa, he's already at the limits of his self control," Xander told her.  "Don't taunt him on top of it."

"Yes, daddy."  She quickly stuffed her mouth before she could say anything else.

Jigen looked at Brad.  "You ever feel like spanking her for that?"

"Yes, sir, but I'm sure you wouldn't approve of that sort of sex until after she's eighteen."

Jigen nodded.  "That's very true.  Good answer, kid.  We'll discuss this later, Melissa, alone, in private."  She nodded, grinning at him. "Eat faster."

Goemon yelled from outside, making everyone jump and rush to the back door.

Xander got there first, and had his gun out.  "Shit!  Melissa, get me the special bullets.  Now!" he ordered as she paused.  "Arsene, break out the crossbow!"  He ran outside, jumping the first vampire to get it away from Goemon.   He growled and grabbed one of the sticks lying around and broke it over another's head, then staked the one he was on top of before jumping at another one.  "Guys, could use the help!" he yelled.  "Lupin!  Get up!"  He didn't move.  He staked another one and heard a gunshot, ducking out of the way so the Jigens could get the others.  He ducked over to check Goemon, who was groaning but moving and aware, and then Lupin, who wasn't moving but was moaning lightly. He felt someone grab him and threw them into the bushes, hoping for an easy staking, but it turned out to be Arsene.  "Sorry.  Guys, move him inside, bandage his wounds, and let's see if we can get some blood into him once we check him over."  He stood up and looked around at the piles of dust and the single remaining vampire cowering beyond Lotus.  "Ask him who sent them and who gave them directions."  He helped Jigen lift Lupin up and carry him up to his bed, settling him in so he could check his vitals.  "He's living," he announced.  "As long as he survives tonight, he should be fine."

"Should we send him to an ER?" Goemon asked from the doorway.

"Put your ass in a bed and stay there," Xander ordered coldly, not looking at him.  "Now!"

"Come along, father, unless you want to nap next to Lupin?"  Ishi led his father away, tucking him back into bed.  He came back with the first aid kit, handing it over.  "Should he have blood?"

"He's got a strong pulse and blood pressure," Xander offered.

"Won't it matter?  Like make him a minion or something?" Alan asked from the doorway.

"No, he'd have to turn for that," Xander said, shooting him a grin.  "It's not that simple actually.  He's got to be bitten and fed.  He's got to die, since he's not ready to he'll be fine.  There's no residue in his mouth, I already checked."  He checked his pulse again, getting out of Jigen's way when he hooked up the machinery yet again.  "Gee, this looks kinda familiar," he joked.

"That's because you were using it just a week or so ago," Goemon said from the doorway. Then he passed out when the thing Xander threw hit him on the forehead.

"Put him into the bed, we can watch them together."  Xander got out of the way, scowling at them.  "Jigen, want first or second shift?"

"Second.  Wake me when you're tired; you're more used to this sort of stuff."  He nodded at Alan.  "Just don't make out in front of Goemon, he'll blush and that won't be good for him."  He left them alone, going to check on the kids, finding his daughter cleaning her gun with Brad watching her.  "You okay?"

"Have I mentioned yet that I hate the strange shit that seems to happen around Uncle Lupin and Mom?" Melissa asked dryly.  "I hate the supernatural.  I don't want to be a ghostbuster."

"Good, me either.  Lotus done with the vamp yet?"

"No," Brad told him.  "She's taking great pleasure from using toothpicks on it."  He shivered so his girlfriend patted him on the thigh.  "Thanks, 'Lis, I didn't know Lotus could be that scary."

"Me either," she promised with a small grin.  "Daddy, should I clean yours too?"

"Sure, princess."  He handed his over, then went to talk to the Goemon children, finding Ishi looking exactly like his father, only wearing jeans and a t-shirt.  He was even sitting in the same position against the wall with his sword in the same spot on his shoulder.  "We going okay here?"

"He's refusing to tell me, I figure I've got about a thousand more toothpicks around here," Lotus said, glaring at the vampire.  "Either that or we can bring Mom down."

"Your mother is nothing," the vampire sneered.

"My mother is a Prince of Hell, get it right," she sneered back, carefully placing a new toothpick, which made the creature howl in pain as it pierced the inner corner of his eyelid.  "Mom!" she yelled. "He's being stubborn!  Can I really hurt him!"

"No," Xander called down.  "I'm coming."  He came in, and stripped off his shirt, which made the vampire drool.  He sneered and undid the necklace, holding his shirt over top of the one that would kill him painfully.  "Now then," he said dryly when the vampire was done howling in pain from the other ones.  "I've got the one that'll kill you by making your brain and eyeballs explode covered.  I can let my shirt lower a bit and it'll only hurt you a lot.  Your choice.  Who hired you?  Who gave you directions?  Who do I get to go kill?"

The vampire started to cry.  "It was a brunette.  She was growling and mean.  She knew all about us, sire.  Please don't kill me!"

"Name?" Lotus growled.  The vampire shrugged and stared at her.  "I don't think he knows."

"He would have given it up if he did," Ishi agreed from his spot, opening his eyes.  "Should we behead him or stake him, mother?"

"Oh, let's test something," Xander said smoothly, moving closer. "See, I found a new mark recently," he said, turning around so the demon could see his back.  The demon screamed as his eyeballs melted.  "Hmm, interesting.  I wonder if that's only against vampires.  Oh, well."  He turned around and dropped his shirt, and the vampire still screamed and held his head as his brain exploded.  "Okay, that's a neat trick," he decided.  "I didn't realize that the demon could see without using his eyes."  He put back on his shirt and walked off.  "Stick him in the garden, he'll dust up at dawn."

"Do you think it was her?" Jigen asked as he followed.

"Not a clue.  Could have been Buffy or one of the other slayers.  She is a natural brunette."  He headed into Lupin's room, kissing the back of Alan's neck.  "I'm done."

"Xander?" Alan asked, running a finger over a scar he'd never seen before.  "What are those?"

"Those are where I was tortured, baby.  That's why I hide them."  He put back on the necklace and gave him a sad little smile.  "They're all mystical markings that cause pain, obedience, or death with demons.  Before you ask, they hurt like hell as they were carved into me, but I'm better now.  It only took a few years," he said bitterly, kissing him again.  "I'm fine now.  They're all healed."

"I'm glad. We went through hell while you were still injured," Jigen said from the doorway.  "I can take first watch if you want.  The kids are still up too."

"No, I'm good," Xander said through a yawn.  "You go sleep.  I'll get you up in a few hours." Jigen nodded, heading for his bedroom.  "Sorry about this, Alan.  This is not what I wanted to happen tonight."

"Not a problem.  These things happen sometimes.  No one ever expects an attack."

"I thought it was the Spanish Inquisition," Xander joked, smirking at him.  "Go ahead and nap on my bed if you want.  It's going to be a long night."  Alan nodded, getting up to give him the chair and a hug.  "Thanks, babe."

"You're welcome," he whispered, going to rest on Xander's bed.  He let himself shudder once he was in there.  He'd never seen Xander as a dangerous person but tonight he'd seen him attack and kill and not blink about it.  It was like it was second nature to him now.  His boyfriend was a dangerous man who did dangerous things.   He was not the gentle man he was when they were alone.  Xander was dangerous.  Xander did bad things.  Xander killed people.  Xander could hurt people.  Xander could hurt him.

"I'd never do that," Xander's voice drifted down the hall.

"And apparently he's telepathic now," Alan said dryly, curling on his side around Xander's pillow. "Night, Xander," he whispered.

"Night!"

Alan grinned and closed his eyes.  Xander was weird, but he was his weirdo.

***

Lupin woke up in the morning, which was shocking to him.  He looked over at the chair beside the bed.  Xander was sleeping there beside him.  He heard a soft snort and looked to his other side, where Goemon was curled up.  "Was it good for you?"

Goemon hit him, knocking him back out.  "Imbecile."

"Sudden personality changes are indicative of needing to be tested by imbibing holy water," Xander said tiredly.   "Unless you want me to go make some, I'd quit being so grumpy."

"Fine.  I'm sorry I'm so surly but I'm very tired."

"Shit happens," Xander reminded him dryly.  "You'd be proud of Lotus, she tortured the last vampire with toothpicks."  He stood up and stretched.  "Let me check your vitals and then you can shower and go back to bed."  He came over to check him out, then nodded.  "You sound fine. You've still got a pulse and things.  Go shower and either eat or go back to bed.  The kids are already up."

Goemon nodded.  "Thank you for watching over us, Xander."

"Welcome. It's what I do after all."  He watched while Goemon headed for his room, listening as Ishi jumped him to check on him.  He leaned down to check on Lupin, smirking as he woke up again.  "Morning, Princess.  Goemon was grumpy and he apologizes."

"That's okay.  You stayed," Lupin said tiredly.  "Can I have a cuddle?"

"We'll see.  But only if you get up, take a shower, and then come back out here to eat.  I had the housekeeper make you guys a very healthy breakfast, high in iron."

Lupin nodded before letting Xander help him up and into the bathroom.   By the time he got back out, his breakfast was ready and his daughter was sitting with his tray on his bed.  "No Xander?"

"Xander went to shower and wake up Alan," she said, holding up the edge of the blankets.  "Put on some boxers and climb back in.  Now, before I have to get mean and nasty or I let Lotus come torture you."

He smirked and kissed her on the head, but he did do as ordered. He doubted his daughter wanted to see him naked anyway.  He climbed under the blankets so she could tuck him in, then accepted his fork with a grin.  "Good food?"

"Fairly so.  Ham, eggs, hash browns, milk.  I'm guessing it's to replace the blood you lost."  She scowled at him.  "Could you possibly *try* not to die this year, Daddy?  It'd make us all really happy if you could *try* to stay alive and well for at least another year.  Give us one last year at the Academy and all that good stuff?"

"Sure, empress.  I don't want to die yet anyway.  Aren't you supposed to be leaving this morning?"

"We've got to be there in about an hour," she admitted.  "We've changed our flights and we're taking a private jet."  Lupin winced, he knew how expensive those were.  "We'll be fine, Daddy.  You're going to rest until we come back, then we'll check you over before going back to school."  She smirked at him.  "Now get your ass ready and eat, daddy.  You need to regain your strength or you'll never convince Alan that mom isn't a killer beast."

Lupin suddenly smiled.  "He saw Xander killing them and is scared?"

"No, he's worried and thinking," she admitted, only slightly busting his happy mood.  "That's one of the reasons why Mom went to talk to him, to calm him back down.  Now eat!"  He dug in, eating quickly.  "Thank you.  You'd be one scary ass vampire, daddy.  Don't die anytime soon."  She kissed him on the cheek. "I'd best go.  We'll be back in a few days.  Should we plan to monitor the auction?"

"No, that's cool," Xander said from the doorway.  "I called Heinrich personally and he said he'd take charge of it for me. I gave him specific instructions about what was not to go.  Have fun in Chicago and be safe, he wasn't sure but he thought he had seen one of the Rays."  Arsene gave him a hug before trotting off.  "Eat, Lupin.  You need to replace that blood."

"The Red Cross only gives cookies and orange juice."

"They only take a pint, you lost something closer to three last night," Xander said dryly. "Eat before I have to get Goemon to spank you."  He started to turn but Lupin coughed while chewing.  "Yes?" he asked tiredly.

"Wanna sit and talk, Xander?"

"No, I'm still calming down Alan," he admitted with a small shrug.  "It bothered him that I could do that."  He went back to his room, tapping gently first since Alan was a little jumpy.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he admitted.  "It was just shocking, seeing you act like that.  You're not like that at home with me, Xander."

"I know, and I'm sorry you had to see that, Alan."  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "I'm only like that when I have to be.  Last night I had to be."

"I understand, but I think I need time to think."  He stood up and hugged him.  "I'm not tossing you over, love, but I need time to process this new information.  Otherwise I'll drive myself insane with it."  Xander nodded, giving him a squeeze.  "Think I can get a ride to the airport with the kiddies?"

"Sure.  Guys!" he yelled.  Brad stuck his head in.  "Wait for Alan, you're taking him to the airport."

"Sure, Xander.  We're about ready to go if you are, sir."

"Thanks, kid.  I didn't get a chance to really unpack," he said with a small grin.  He kissed Xander, making him moan.  "We'll talk in two days, Xander.  I'm not dumping you."

"I understand," he agreed, smiling at him.  "I can be a scary guy and you have to get used to that."

Alan nodded, picking up his bag and going for the few things he had unpacked that morning, stuffing them back into his bag before following Brad down the stairs.  He smiled sadly at the kids.  "I've got to head back to think.  Can I bum a ride?"

"Sure, but we'll have to switch cars," Ishi told him.  "Guys, switch the bags, unless someone wants to sit in Arsene's lap?"

"We can fit," Melissa snorted.  "Trust me, we've done it before."  She put Alan's bag into the trunk and rearranged them so he was in the middle of the back seat.  "There.  They do it with six in the roadster and that's got bucket seats in the back," she said proudly.  She nudged Ishi.  "You or me?"

"Me.  Get in."  She slid into the passenger's seat, buckling up.  "We all here?"  He got some groans.  "Good."  He took off down the driveway, heading for the airport.  "Which direction are you heading, Alan?"

"Australia unfortunately or I'd hitch a ride the whole way," he said, smirking at him. "It'll be fine.  I just need to process.  I've never seen your father as someone who was scary and dangerous before."

"Oh, we understand," Arsene assured him.  "I didn't have that revelation until a few years back about my daddy either.  Then Daddy basically blew someone away in the mall in front of me and I suddenly had to stare in awe at my father."  She smirked at him.  "So, how are you liking being the boyfriend of an assassin?  I'm asking so I can tell if I want to date one or not."

He kissed her on the side of the head.  "It's odd and I still won't let Xander spoil me with things.  That way he doesn't have to worry about where things came from."  He stroked the bracelet he was wearing.  "This is the only thing he's ever given me.  And I protested for a few minutes about this one but he bought it in the store with me in there and put it on me, then had them solder it shut on me."  He smiled at her.  "He's very thoughtful but I don't need to be spoiled with things, I'd rather have his time and his attention."

"Good.  We like people who like Mom," Arsene agreed dryly.  "It's much better than someone like Goemon's exwife who only wanted to spoiled with things and then have the men walk off."

"Anything's better than her," Lotus said dryly.  "Remember, if you treat Mom wrong, you'll be seeing us in your worst nightmares."

"Oh, I'm sure I will," he agreed quickly, smiling at her.  "I have no doubt you four could make me rue the day I was conceived."

"Yes, we can," Ishi agreed.  He glanced in the mirror again.  "It's Gramps."

"Fuck 'im," Melissa sighed, pulling her gun so she could lean out the window and shoot out his tires, but he dodged and slowed down, turning around and heading the other direction.  "There, that's one down," she said as she settled back into her seat with her gun back in the back holster. "It's not a job without Gramps getting involved."

"True, what're we going to do when he retires?" Arsene sighed.  "I know Mom said that he's going to take out all of them and put them on mild disability for life, but then who'll chase us?"

"I'm sure there'll be a few good cops to take over," Brad said, obviously humoring her.  "There are lots of other ones in the world."

"Yeah, but not *good* ones, ones who'll follow you into the ninth circle of hell if necessary," Melissa told him.  "Gramps did that for Daddy Lupin a few times.  They've even had to work together a few times to get out of tight spots.  You don't get many cops like that."

"No, you don't," Brad agreed, smirking at her.  "Then again, that makes them easier to get past."

"Not really," Arsene said dryly.  "He's damn easy to get around sometimes. Just because he's so focused we can tweak him into changing his mind and going in another direction, which leaves us an open avenue to our hauls."

"Yeah, you can distract him by having another member show up and let him chase them, or you can easily get past him with most costumes."

"Speaking of, we're being asked to give a speech on what Daddy Lupin does with them," Ishi said dryly.  "So someone write that.  Or call and have Daddy write it and come give it.  It'd make him happy to get out of the house once he's able."

"They can't get out of the house?  Are they contagious or something?" Brad asked.

"No, Janus keeps them in the house.  He's trying to make them get back together again," Melissa told him.

"Okay, when you say Janus...." Brad started.

"She means the two-headed statue that seems to be the family deity and who I saw move and talk last night, kid," Alan said dryly.  "Freaked the hell out of me when it did, but it did."

"Did it tell you that you two could continue to date?" Arsene asked.

"Yes, dear, and then they said that some day someone in his life would be coming for me to make him come back into it.  That's when your father came in and nearly threw it out the window, but instead decided to cover it."

"Well, as long as he agrees," Lupin the Fourth said happily.  "After all, if they don't fix this within the month, then Daddy and Uncle Jigen, and Uncle Goemon will age to their correct ages."

"They will?"

"Not meant to guilt you or anything, but yeah," Ishi sighed.  "You noticed that Mom and everyone looked kinda younger again?  It was their last chance.  Janus likes them together.  They're his favorite pairing and they give him a lot of power."

"So, by staying with me, will that reage them?"

"We're not sure, but if he said it was okay it shouldn't," Arsene offered.  "I haven't heard anything and I'm a high priestess of his."  She snapped her fingers.  "Speaking of, 'Lis, we've got to get a plate and do the offering again.  He's been looking pouty at the school."

"Sure," she agreed lightly.  "We'll find some nice wine and things for it."

"Thanks.  He said no more ham, he was tired of ham after last year."

"That's fine, we'll do some steak or something," she said, waving a hand around some.  "Music, Ishi?"

"Sure, go ahead.  Just not too loud."  He flipped it on, letting her pick the station.  Everyone usually liked whatever she picked.

"Eighties and nineties or classical?"

"Modern," Arsene grunted.

"Please, not classical," Brad agreed.  He looked at Lotus, but she was asleep on his arm.  "I think she's still tired."

"She probably is," she agreed happily.  "She said to move her if she drools."

"Sure, thanks for the warning," he said with a smirk.

"We *all* drool in our sleep," Alan reminded him.  "Especially when you have happy thoughts that give you good dreams."

The kids snickered at that, they knew what those were.

***

Zenigata stomped up to the gateway and grabbed Alan, hauling him up.  "I want to talk to you," he said coldly.

"You're going to let go of me, you big oaf, unless you have a warrant and a very good reason to be grabbing me."

"You're the lover of Lavelle.  Of course I do," he said with a cruel smirk.

Alan got his arm free.  "Be that as it may, Inspector, it's not like we do much.  I don't watch him while he works.  I don't allow him to give me presents.  I don't even allow him to talk about work in my presence.  I'm actually the one he said he might retire for.  So I would back off."  Zenigata sneered so Alan pulled out every bit of queenliness he had in him.  "And if you don't, I will tell him.  I can easily go crying to him about how mean you are."

"What's he gonna do?  Swat me?" Zenigata sneered.

"No, Lavelle seems to like long range weapons actually," Arsene said from behind him, her arms crossed over her chest.  "Gramps, leave him alone.  You know better.  Lavelle doesn't give him anything.  He doesn't see the hauls, he doesn't benefit from them."

"Oh, really?  We know he's bought him gifts."

"Yeah, and he had some money in the bank when he joined the life.  He only uses that for Alan and his pleasure," Arsene sneered.

"He was flat broke when he joined the life, kid."

"Really?  Because you know, he didn't have insurance on anything in Sunnydale when it was eaten or anything."  She stepped closer.  "This is your only warning, Zenigata.  You leave Alan the fuck alone or you deal with me.  Not mom, not dad, not any of the Uncles.  Me.  And if you manage to get past me, there's always the others.  We like Alan.  He's sweet to Lavelle.  Something that he hasn't had in a while.  We appreciate the hell out of him for making Lavelle smile and laugh and joke again.  So either you butt the hell out or have to rest your butt on a permanent basis in a retirement home."  He growled and she pulled something, putting it against his stomach as she moved closer.  That's when he realized he was looking in her eyes.  "Do you think I won't?" she hissed.  "Daddy likes you, we respect you, but you're in my way.  We're still realistic, we're not the idealists that the older group is yet.  I'll only injure you but it'll be very messy and you'll be in the hospital for a *very* long time," she said in a cold whisper.  "Now, back down and run away, little boy.  Before one of the less calm people show up.  After all, I took drugs already to combat my tension.  Ishi hasn't.  Neither has Melissa.  Neither has Brad.  By the way, he asked that you tell Vecchio he said hi and that he's doing good in school."  Zenigata swallowed, she could see him do it.  "Now, back your stinky ass down and run away.  Before I have to fight against the drugs and do something very mean."  He backed up and she smirked, undoing her lipstick to put some more on.  "Thank you."  He sneered so she pointed it at him, hitting him with the tranquilizer dart.  "Idiot," she said dryly.  "You know how my family likes gadgets.  Like it, Melissa made it," she sneered as he faded out.  She looked at Alan.  "You okay?"

"Just fine, Ar...Lupin.  Thank you for protecting me."

"Like I said, you make Lavelle happy and smiling.  We like that about you.  Remember to keep doing that and don't have any fights near us, okay?"  She turned and stomped off, going to report to the other kids.

Alan sat down with a moan, then looked at the stewardess nearby.  "He's fine, it's a tranquilizer dart.  Lupin the Fourth was in a happy mood," he told her.  She nodded, calling security to pick up the inspector.  None of them came near him, even when he was blatantly watching. "He came after me because of who my boyfriend is," he said at one pointed glance in his direction.  They nodded and took the inspector off to hand him back to his unit.  Alan got onto the plane without any other problems and headed back, thinking the whole way.  How often would that happen?  He touched the bracelet he was wearing.  It was very pretty but the man had put doubts in his head about a lot of things.  He sat down to write out a later email to his boyfriend to talk about this with him.  It wouldn't be fair otherwise.

***

Lupin walked down the hall, leaning in the doorway of Xander's room.  "Pops just jumped Alan at the airport," he said quietly.   Xander grimaced.  "Arsene got him with her lipstick dart."

"Melissa got that to work?" he asked, looking a bit happier.  "Can I go visit him when he wakes up?"

"No, Xander.  We can't do that.  It'd be mean and cruel.  Even though I want to help you."  Xander gave him an odd look.  "Jigen and I both like Alan.  We think he's a nice guy and he makes you happy.  We just want you back more than we want to see you happy with anybody else."

"Being miserable with you two is better than being happy with him?"  Xander sat up.  "If you really loved me like you said you do, then you'd want me to be happy."

"I do, but it's driving us insane, Xander.   Seeing you give him those special smiles and looks we used to get.  Watching you laugh at some joke he just told you.  Watching you cuddle and kiss him.  It's making me violent and I like the guy.  I love Alan.  If we could make it a quad, I'd do it readily.  I..."  He sighed.  "I can't stand to see you with someone who's not us, Xander.  It makes me ache in places I didn't know I had," he admitted tiredly.

"I get it, Lupin," Xander agreed, "that's why I don't stay here that often."

"Can't you give us just one little chance?"

"No!  You cheated on me!  You ignored me, Lupin, and you knew what I was like before.  How everyone in my life ignored the hell out of me for years!  I can't put up with that.  I'm sorry, but I can't.  I won't.  I need more than you were willing to give me."

"We can change," Lupin reminded him, sounding a bit cooler now.

"You said that before, Lupin.  Twice."  He stood up and pulled Lupin in to hug him.  "I love you, Lupin, but you treated me worse than you treat the cats.  I *need* someone to talk to me now and then.  You weren't doing that and then you went out and *cheated* on me.  Me!  The person who would have done *anything* in the bedroom!  Unfortunately, you wanted tits and I'm never doing that again.  Alan actually likes the real Xander person, dick and all."

"You said you haven't slept together."

"We haven't, but he's very gay, Lupin.  He's not a virgin and neither am I," Xander said bitterly, going back to his bed.  "Sit, before you fall over.  I know how bad and tired you feel right now.  Been there, done that a few times."

"Is that why you had her make ham instead of steak?"

"Ham dissolves faster and easier, it's closer to human than cow."  He got comfortable, staring at his former lover.  "Can you actually swear that if I took you back you'd only be with us?  That you'd pay attention to only us?  That you'd give up chasing tits?"

"Why would I need to?  I've got my own set," he said bitterly, glaring at the altar.

"I'm guessing he wanted you two to understand how wrecking that thing can be," he said bitterly, glaring at the statues. "Haven't they been bothered enough?"  The heads shook under their covering.  "Fine."  He looked at Lupin.  "That was not my idea.  I was drugged up in a hospital when it happened if you remember right."

"You were, I don't blame you for this," Jigen said from the doorway.  "You okay?  I heard complaining."

"You did, but it came from me," Lupin told him, grimacing at him.  "Why don't you yell that at him, Xander?"

"Because Jigen has problems with men, Lupin.  He could barely bring himself to touch me after ten years together.  You, on the other hand, like to touch both sexes.  You can and did touch me a lot as a guy.  He couldn't and we all knew that."  He shifted some, staring at them both.  "That would have to change too, we all know that."

"I'm working on it," Jigen offered.  "I still can't get past the image of me kissing you as a guy.  I'm not one of those who's comfy with other guys."

"I understand, which is why I never pushed you," Xander reminded him.  He looked at Lupin.  "You don't have that out, Arsene.  You like boys too."

"Good point," he said miserably.  "I tried, Xander.  I'm sorry, but I like girls more."

"And I'm not one, and I'll never be one again unless it's absolutely necessary to ensure mine and the kids' survival.  Which means that we shouldn't lie to each other about this, Lupin.  You don't want me as a guy.  Jigen doesn't want me as a guy.  Why in the *hell* should I come back knowing that?"

"Because you love us and you want us to work it out?" Jigen suggested mildly.

"I'd love for you two to work it out, and if you do and I'm not with Alan, then I'll gladly take you back.  I'm not doing it any other way.  You guys should be happy that I actually found some other person who tries to understand me!  I barely found you two!"

"We know, but it still hurts to see your ex happy with someone else," Lupin said miserably.  "I'd rather see you happy with us."

"Which is why I'll gladly work with you guys or the kids, but I won't bring him along, and I won't be living here.  If I have to, I'll find a house locally so I'm closer for planning and things, but I don't want to push him back in your faces."

"We know, Xan, but it's still bothering us."  Jigen nodded at the altar.  "Will he leave us alone if you don't take us back?"

"He said it was fine as long as we could work together," Xander offered.  "If that means yes, you'd have to get it from him."  He shrugged.  "He could just as easily put me back to where I was, in pain every fucking day."  He stood up.  "I'm going to take a shower, I haven't had one yet."

"Sure, Xander," Lupin said quietly, frowning at the altar once the bathroom door was closed.  "Well?  Your brilliant plan failed, Janus."  He reached over and snatched the cover off the altar.  "Are you going to leave us alone?  We're trying."

"I realize that, but he will not live as long if he does not come back.  He will do something stupid," the frowning head told him.

"He may, but Zenigata deserves it after this morning," Lupin said with a small moan as he shrugged.  "I'm surprised he hasn't called in a death warning to them for it."

"What happened?" Jigen asked, coming in to sit on the foot of Xander's bed.

"Pops jumped Alan at the airport, trying to make him doubt how Xander did things for him.  Where the money came from and all that.  After him seeing Xander actually kill things last night, he's having doubts.  That adds to it."

"Which could mean that Xander would leave him if he expressed too many doubts?" Jigen asked.

"It could mean that Alan leaves him," Lupin said quietly.  "And it would be Pop's fault."  Jigen shuddered.  "Yeah, I can see their house going up in flames while the kids were off somewhere.  I can see him and most of his team going up very quickly and prettily, and then Xander going on a binge."

"He's not like that, Lupin."

"Jigen, did you just listen to him?  We're the only three people in the world who he thinks cares about him.  He will.  It'll come back on us somehow and then we lose him too."

"I'm not like that," Xander said from the bathroom doorway.  "Though, Zenigata and Dawn may well be gone if he does dump me over this.  I'm not guaranteeing their continued existences."  He glared at the altar.  "Are you happy now that I'm more miserable?"

"No, Xander, we only want you to be happy."

"Alan made me happy.  You saw that."

"So do they."

"Not when they can't and won't touch me.  Not when they ignore me.  Not when they treat me worse than a piece of carpet lint."

"I never did that."

"Jigen, when was the last time we actually had a discussion about something other than the kids?"  Jigen shrugged.  "Exactly."  He looked at the statue again.  "I'd fix this if it was your fuckup, Janus.  Otherwise we'll have to have a talk.  You, me, and all of your priests.  I may spare Arsene because she's my daughter, but the rest of them can die."

"Marcus?" Lupin asked.

"He's not."

"No, he's not," Janus agreed.  "You would not, Xander.  You know you would not.  The same as you could not harm my upcoming daughter."

"Yeah, I can.  I'm about the only one who knows where she is, Janus.  You fuck up my life and I fuck up your power base."  He slammed the bathroom door again and went to take his shower.  Or at least the water was running while he stared at his uncovered and unhidden chest in the mirror.  "This was all one big plan by the Powers," he muttered. "I knew it was."  He got in, going to scrub himself for a bit.  He felt dirty now.

Lupin looked at the statue.  "You know how he is, Janus.  Why continue to make him miserable and make things worse for the world?"

"He won't be able to kill Ethan," Jigen said bitterly.

"Yes he will," Janus told him.  "Xander does have a spot within him with enough rage to do that to him.  Even to attack him magically if he so desires.  The rage runs deep in that man's body."

"And who's fault is that?" Jigen asked bitterly.

"We are not to blame for most of it," the smiling head told him.

"Bet me. You're the cause of the latest version of miserable in his life," Lupin reminded him.  "We may be miserable pricks because we lost him, but without Alan, he doesn't feel he's got anybody.  Then you lose him too."

"We will not."

"You will.  He'll probably end up doing something stupid and dying," Jigen said tiredly as he stood up.  "Don't worry, you'll see it soon enough.  Quit looking at the chosen paths and see all of them."

"That's a Goemonish statement, Jigen, are you sure you're not him?" Lupin joked weakly.

"Yeah, it's something he said last night.  I'm only quoting."  He glared at the statue.  "I'm not losing him to you."  He walked out, heading to talk to Goemon.  If Xander was that pissed, he would do something stupid and die from it.

Lupin looked at the statue again.  "You're in deep if he finds out the vampires were you."

"That was not me, it was Dawn."

"Then she's in deep shit anyway," Lupin agreed.  "Look at all the paths, Janus.  Do you see him staying here happily?"

"No," he admitted.  "We only want him to be happy."

"Then why force things so he's miserable?"

"Because he'll live longer."

"Xander's one of those who believe in quality, not quantity," Lupin said quietly as he stood up.  "I'm going back to bed.  I'd check the other paths this time.  It won't go the way you want to send it."  He left the statue there to think and consider while he had to plan how to stop Xander from doing stupid things out of anger and rage.

***

Dawn looked up as Ray Vecchio carried in her husband, glaring at him.  "What did you do to him now!"

"He went and tried to break up Xander and Alan by jumping Alan at the airport," Ray Kowalski said from behind him.  "He lost.  Arsene tranq'd him."  He glared at his other boss.  "Did you have something to do with that, Dawn?"

Vecchio whistled.  "Enough!  I don't care why it happened!  It was wrong on both parts and it'll get in the way of real police work.  This isn't a high school!"

"No, but you forget who we're dealing with," Ray reminded him quietly.  "Xander, who didn't have anyone who liked him enough to pay attention to him.  By his own admission why he dumped Lupin and Jigen and took up with Alan."  Vecchio leaned against his desk.  "If this breaks them up, there's a very good chance that they'll be dead very painfully and it'll probably take a while."

"Xander's not like that," Dawn protested.

"Yeah, he is, Dawn," Ray Vecchio assured her.  "I've seen it in him too."  He looked at Kowalski.  "So what do we do?"

"First, you'd better pray that Alan only has doubts and doesn't dump him before Lupin and Jigen can get their shit together again.   The kids are hoping but they already like Alan.  I chatted with Melissa and Brad last night and she told me about the vampire attack at the manor house too," he said, glaring at Dawn, who went pale.  "Alan saw him killing the creatures."

"Oh, shit," Dawn said, sitting down.  "He watched him?"  Ray nodded.  "Then Zenny went to jump him?"  Both Rays nodded this time.  "Oh, hell.  Okay.  We're going to go reward the house.  Xander can't get through them."  She squealed as an imp appeared, pulling her gun, but it hopped up and handed her a letter before disappearing.  "What the fuck!" she said angrily.

Kowalski snatched it, reading it carefully.  "Janus apologizes if we all die from this," he said, handing it to Vecchio.  "Xander's more than pissed if he used the demonic to show up here."

"But..but...but Xander doesn't touch demon magic!" she protested, standing up again.  "He won't.  They hurt him!"

"He's using a demon to do plastic wizardry, Dawn.  Get real for a moment," Vecchio told her.  "Now, we've got to talk to Alan.  We've got to remind him how good Xander can be."

"If we do, he'll think that Xander's threatening us," Kowalski noted dryly.  "He's not dumb, Ray."

"Point, but he's got to know how Xander thinks."

"No, he know how *Xander* thinks, not how *Lavelle* thinks," Ray reminded him tiredly.  "There's three people on this planet who understand *Lavelle*.  Jigen, Melissa Jigen, and Lupin the Third."

"Where's the kid?" Vecchio asked.

"Heading for Chicago.  They were taking a private plane."

"Why?"

"There's a warehouse, they're going over to get rid of some stuff for Xander," Vecchio told her.  "Fine, I'll follow.  Not an issue.  Ma'd like a visit anyway."

"Good.  We'll both go.  I'll write Alan tonight to talk to him.  If we're really lucky, you two will survive that long," Kowalski told Dawn.  "Don't try anything else.  No matter what the reason.  You're only making it worse.  Just take care of your husband and the kids.  We can get back to real police work after this crisis is over with and we're all living."  He walked out, slamming the door behind himself, going to make travel arrangements.

"Aren't you two supposed to be like family?" Vecchio asked her.  She glared at him so he left.  "Fine, whatever.  Don't get dead until we come back."  He slammed the door a bit gently but it still slammed.

Dawn sat down, putting her face in her hands.  How had she messed up this badly?  She was turning into her sister.

***

Sierra Lupin-Summers walked up to the doorway of the club and tapped gently.  "Hi, I'm here to talk to my father's boyfriend.  Is he back yet?" she asked calmly.

"Are you old enough to be in here?" the bouncer asked, looking her over.

"I'm Sierra Lupin-Summers.  I'm Alan's boyfriend's daughter.  Please.  Before daddy kills people."  He grimaced but let her inside, taking her back to where Alan was sitting at a table writing.  "Alan?"  He looked up, then blinked a few times.  "I'm Sierra.  We need to talk.  Auntie Dawn doesn't know I'm here."  She slid into the booth across from him.  "She's not sure why she sent the vampires, or her husband, after you but she's very sorry."

"Is that because she's afraid of your mother?"

"Yeah," she said honestly, grimacing a bit.  Then she cleared it away.  "You're the best thing that happened to Mom since he got taken in by Jigen and had us.  Even Daddy and Uncle Jigen see that.  It makes them miserable pricks, but they know that you're making him happy in ways that they couldn't.  All we ask is that you don't break mom's heart if you break up and that you at least try to work through this present bit of hot tar that my father-in-law caused.  Please?"

"I'm not breaking up with him, Sierra.  I simply needed to think for a bit.  I saw a side to your mother that I hadn't in the past.  I saw him stake some creatures and then I saw him as a very scary man."

"He's dangerous?" the bouncer asked, looking confused.  "I thought you were dating some Lord."

"I am, that Lord's other title is Lavelle," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "As in the Assassin Lavelle.  Her stepmother and Lupin the Third's gunman."   The bouncer shivered.  "I saw him at work the last night because their house was attacked.  They're worried that their father will be killing a great many people for that attack and for Inspector Zenigata coming up to harass me in the airport today."  He looked at Sierra again.  "It's cool between us, Sierra.  I like Xander.  He's a big goofball underneath.  As far as I'm concerned, Lavelle is a multiple personality that he takes on sometimes.  I can deal with that because he's only Xander with me.  I know he didn't want me to see any part of his life."  He sipped his drink.  "I just needed time to think it through for myself.  You can tell whichever adult sent you that."

She snorted. "No adult sent me.  I escaped the house with the kids in case Mom burns it down.  He's *PISSED* at Auntie Dawn and Zenigata over what they did.  Like sent a demonic messenger to her with a death threat pissed.  As in he's running around without that nice concealment on those scars of his pissed."  Alan shivered.  "I see you've seen a few?"

"Last night, I saw his arms and his neck.  How did that happen?"

"Did he ever tell you about when he was tortured?"  Alan nodded quickly. "Then.  The person who had him did it.  They took a great deal of pleasure in doing it to him.  Auntie Dawn rescued him just three days before he and Uncle Jigen hooked up.  He was still insensate and not all there when he ran into Jigen and helped him.  Then Jigen took him in since he saw what Daddy could be like.   There's a strong bond there and Auntie Dawn is going to die for this one.  If her husband doesn't, then we're not sure.  I do know that my twin has been contemplating a serious death for them both.  She wanted to kill him at the airport but she didn't want you to witness that either."  Alan nodded, taking another, longer drink of his drink.  "Thankfully, mom's not like that with you.   That's why we like you so much.  You make mom happy and be just plain Xander again."  She stood up.  "We'd like to encourage that to continue, Alan.  We don't want something this stupid to get between you.  Even if Janus wills it."

"It's not a problem, Sierra.  Thank you for explaining some things to me."

"Hey, someone had to.  You came into the game late and didn't know the full score.  By the way, you missed the wedding on purpose?"

He smiled.  "I hate weddings."

"Ah.  Yeah, I'm not too fond of them either.  I was happier just having sex."  She shrugged.  "At least they'll make sure I get where I want to go.  Thank you for listening to me. I hope I didn't break your concentration."

"No, not in the least.  I was going over some old stuff to revamp it."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Thanks, Sierra."

"You're welcome.  You make mom happy and giggly like me.  You deserve it."  She walked off, leaving him there.

Alan looked up at the bouncer. "If I suddenly get a big bouquet of flowers, check it first?  I'm not sure if his friends in Interpol will try the same thing or not."

"Is he dangerous?"

"Not to us," Alan said calmly.  "To the people who tried to break us up?  There's every possibility."  He finished his drink.  "Sorry, got to write something.  The muses are frantic again," he said fondly, going to find his laptop and start on something new.  His dressing room was quiet and the box of chocolates on the table were a very nice touch.  He'd have to thank Ray later for them.   It wasn't often straight guys sent him candy.

***

Vecchio got the tip from his old precinct and followed it to the warehouse, opening the door and stepping inside.  He noticed the guns pointed at him.  "I'm not here for you guys.  I moved to Interpol.  I'm here for Lupin the Fourth and her crew.  Where are they?"

"What makes you think we're gonna tell you anything?" one of the gang members said dryly.

Vecchio sighed and pulled up his microphone.  "Cooperate or SWAT's coming, boys and girls.  I don't have the patience for this. I'm chasing fifteen-year-old crooks who like priceless artwork and jewels.  She was already better than you guys by the age of eight."

"What makes you think we're gonna believe you?" one of them sneered.

"Because with Lupin the Fourth is her sidekick Melissa Jigen."  They all glared at him.  "As in Diasuke Jigen's little girl with Sylvia.  Unless you want her to settle the old scores about her father today...."  He trailed off and smiled at them.  "So, where is she?"

"Warehouse 51," one of them said quietly.  "Get her out of our city.  We don't need the conflict this time."

"Thanks, boys.  Have a nice day."  He walked out and waved, and SWAT moved in to arrest them.  They had drugs on the table and guns in plain sight.  He got back into the car.  "Warehouse 51?"

Kowalski chuckled.  "I know where that is.  It's a goth club."  He headed that way, going to the strangest club in the city.   Lavelle would fit in there very well.  He pulled up outside and got out, going to the side door and tapping gently.  "We're here to escort Lupin the Fourth and her crew out of the city before Jigen gets angry and hears about what happened to her Pops."  The vampire at the door looked him over.  "Lavelle sent me, man.  I'm Ray from the cons."  He was let in and Vecchio was nearly stopped but Ray shook his head.  "Him too.  They downstairs?"

"Yes," he hissed.  "In the storage area."

"Thanks, man.  We'll be gone soon."  He strolled that way, smirking at Brad on his way down.  "Hey, kid."  He watched as Vecchio stopped to talk to him, then got into the elevator in the closet, going down to the storage area.  He walked out and found the room mostly empty.  "Already done?"

"It's nice, Heinrich had some fences waiting for everything but a few costumes and things," Arsene said with a shrug.  "We had to negotiate for our fees of something each."  She crossed her arms.  "Why are you here?"

"To escort you out of the city and to talk," he said honestly.  "Chicago is not a city for any Jigen to be in and your mother's pissed as hell.  He sent a messenger imp to Dawn."

"Too bad it wasn't poisoned," Melissa said with a shrug.  "Anything else?"

"Nah, not yet.  What costumes?"

"Someone tithed Mom a Padawan outfit," Ishi said as he walked in off the back docks.  "We good here?"

"Nearly," Arsene admitted, looking at Melissa.  "You said you wanted to talk to your grandfather for a moment.  You still wanna do that?"

"Yeah, I do," she said grimly.  "It shouldn't take long.  Dad said he'd hate me because I'm a girl and a gunman."  She looked at the elevator, nodding politely at the man getting off.  "Hi, Inspector.  We're nearly done.  Everything else here is going to Mexico."

"Melissa!" Arsene complained.

"We already knew about it," Kowalski assured her.  "Your mom babbles when he's drunk."  They all groaned.  "I asked, he said nothing's hot down there," he admitted.  "So we're cool with that.  I don't know where the house is anyway, he couldn't remember he was so drunk.  So let's go.  Pitter patter and all that."

"Not so fast," Lotus said from behind them, making both Rays shiver in dread.  "What else is going on?"

"Um, I kinda didn't tell you, Lotus.  Gramps came up to Alan in the airport and started to pick at his relationship with mom."

"Is he dead?" she asked calmly.

"Not yet, I only tranq'd him," Arsene admitted.  "By the way, the lipstick thing worked very well, 'Lis."

"Thanks, Lupin."  She pushed some of her hair back.  "I can refill that for you in Mexico."  She looked at the Inspectors.  "I'm going to pop around on my grandfather while the others arrange for transport to Mexico for the rest of this stuff.  Then we'll leave, heading home with the proceeds of the auction.  If you had another plan, I'm sorry.  By the way, Sierra headed down there."

"Home?"

"No, to talk to Alan," she said with a smirk for Arsene.  "I think she plans on begging nicely."

"Hopefully it won't be necessary.  I'd hate to see the world explode this time," Arsene said with a shrug.   "I wonder if daddy would consider making it a quad."

"Probably not.  That would mean Alan would have to join the team," Vecchio said dryly.  "I don't think he's thief material."  He looked at Melissa.  "You sure about this?  There's still a bounty on your dad's head."

"I'm clearly not my father and I can handle it," she said calmly.   "I'll let Brad go with them."  He nodded, liking that idea better.  "Anything else, Inspector?"

"Yeah, I'll drive ya, just ta make sure you make it out of there," he said dryly.  "That's not a good part of town for anyone in your family to be in."

"Thankfully I didn't bring Savannah or Sarah," she said with a shrug, following him up.  "I'll get with you on the plane, Lupin."

"Sure, 'Lis."  She frowned until they were gone.  "What the fuck is going on?" she demanded.

"Her grandfather was the one who put the hit out on her dad's head," Kowalski told her.   "Her grandfather's a money guy, Lupin.  He considered gunmen and assassins to be beneath him. So when his only son took up the gun...."  He shrugged.  "He got pissed.  He disowned him.  He put a large bounty on his head.  I was incoming when your uncle was leaving the city.  Your uncle had to fight his way out of the ambush twice."  She shuddered.  "His dad's more than powerful enough to know that you're here."

"So she's in danger?"

"Not yet.  If he wanted her dead, he'd have gotten her at the airport or on the drive in.  He can do that.  He's powerful enough to do that."

"Fine.  We'll be listening for her.  If the sick bastard touches her, I'll kill him myself," she announced, turning to look at the remaining workers.  "Box up everything else in a truck by itself.  It's going to Mexico."  They nodded dully and did as she ordered.  "Ishi, manage that?"  He nodded, going to watch them to make sure nothing got mixed in.  She looked at Lotus.  "Did you want to shadow her?"

"She'll be fine," Lotus said calmly.  "People are still afraid of Vecchio."

Arsene nodded. "Fine.  As long as she'll be fine."  She looked around the empty warehouse.  "Is he doing this so he can retire?"

"He's offered in the past," Kowalski told her.  "He's willing to retire for Alan, to spend his life with him.  It's sweet."

"It's gagging."

"Yeah, a bit," he admitted with a smirk.  "It could be worse.  He could be giving it all to charity."

"Good point," she sighed, going to watch over the workers.  You couldn't trust zombies to do everything perfectly.

***

Melissa tapped on the front door, nodding politely at the butler.  "I wish to speak to my grandfather."  His mouth opened.  "Just show me in there, man.  I'm in a rush.  I'm flying through and I've got a plane to catch."

"Who are you?" he asked in a strangled voice.

"Melissa Jigen, Second to Lupin the Fourth, daughter to Diasuke Jigen, twin of a future Interpol cop."  She gave him a steady look.  "Is the old fart not living?"

"No, he's on the back verandah, miss.  Come, I will escort you."  He looked her over.  "If you have weapons, I should confiscate them."

"Not a chance.  Daddy told me all about him."  He nodded, looking sad about that.  "I promise I won't blow him away unless he tries me."  He nodded and led her through the house, hurrying along to whisper in his employer's ear before she appeared.

The old man looked at the young girl walking out the back door.  "You look like your grandmother."

"I look more like my mother, Sylvia," she said calmly.  "Father said I shouldn't be here, but I wanted to know if there was any chance of reconciliation.  You're an old man now.  Daddy was hoping you may have reconsidered your ban on him visiting his mother's grave."

"You are very strong, young lady," the old man said quietly.

"I am.  I'm also Second to Lupin the Fourth."  The man shuddered.  "I'm also a marksman with multiple weapons, as are both my parents."  She sat down across from him.  "I don't care if you don't like daddy or me.  I could care less if you hate both of us actually.  But I will not allow you to hurt daddy ever again.  If I have to, I'll take on the blood debt and settle it here and now."  Her grandfather chuckled. "You'd be surprised at what I know, grandfather.  I'm trained by daddy and Lavelle.  I'm very good at what I do.  I can take it on and resolve it tonight if I must.  I can even keep the Goemons out of it."

"You run around with someone like them?" he sneered.

"Yes, I do.  Ishi and Lotus are two of my best friends.  I trained right beside them and Lupin the Fourth."

"Your father had you become weak, like him," he sneered.

"No, I'm a genius in electronics besides being a gunman."  She smirked at him, watching as he turned pale.  "Now, it's up to you.  Has it been long enough and will you take the bounty off Daddy's head, or do I solve it for him?  After all, a dead man can't pay bounties."

"You're ballsy for a girl, young lady."

She snorted.  "You have no idea.  Nor do you probably care to get to know me.  Pity, but your loss.  After all, why would you want to get to know the granddaughter who is top student at the Assassin's Academy?  Or top marksman?  Or even top in the planning, gadgets, and electronics areas?"  She stood up.  "This is up to you, grandfather.  Father did not sanction this tete-a-tete.  He didn't want me to ever come within breathing room of you so I wasn't polluted by your ways and methods.  Now, do we solve this now or not?"

"Not," he said, pulling a gun.  Unfortunately she was faster.  She was also faster than three of the guards on the roof.  Two of them grazed her but she got them before they did more than that.  She took up a position by the doorway, getting the others as they came to help, then looked at the butler once no one else appeared.  "Game, set, match.  Melissa Jigen wins," she said coldly.  "You can pass that around."  She walked out, getting the girl who came out of a room with a long dagger or a really thick knitting needle. "I'm not here for you," she told her wounded body.  She had aimed to wound this one for some reason.  "Who are you?"

"Diametra."

"Cool.  I'm Melissa, one of Diasuke's twins."  She nodded politely.  "Let it be known, the blood debt is canceled. The person who set it is gone and daddy doesn't want his things.  He can shit blood for the rest of his short life for all I care."  She nodded quickly.  "Good.  Are we related?"  The girl nodded again, pressing her lips together.  "Fine."  She grabbed a pen out of her pocket and wrote the house's secondary number on the girl's forearm.  "Have someone take that down.  It goes to Lupin the Third's house.  Daddy's there.  You don't have to tell him I did this, he'll throw a bloody fit, but..."  She shot the person coming up behind her, then looked at the young woman again, "but you can tell him it's canceled and that he can come visit his mother's grave again, or even pick up a copy of a picture of her."  She stood up.  "Have a nice life, ma'am."

"I'm your aunt."

"Yay.  And?"  She shrugged.  "Do I care?"

"This is yours by birthright."

"So's a manor house in England because of my mother.  Neither one is something I want.  Just see that daddy gets what he's due and wants."  She walked out, getting into the car and slamming the door.  "Whichever airport we're leaving from is a very good idea, before someone calls anyone who's not here," she ordered calmly.  Vecchio continued to stare at her.  "If I have to drive with two grazes, Mom's going to kill you sooner."  He started the car with a cough and hurried on, taking her where she needed to go.  "For the record, the blood debt is canceled.  Dead men can't pay out debts.  He drew on me first," she said quietly.  "It was his own choice.  He tried and he failed.  But I do have a very nice aunt."  She slumped down some, looking at her arm.  "That's gonna be a pain to fix."

"What?  Is it a deep wound?"

"No, it got my leather jacket," she said bitterly.  "I hope Arsene knows someone to fix it."

"Are you okay, kid?"

"Uncle Ray, if I feel the need to cry about taking my first human life on purpose, I'll do it on Ishi.  No offense, but you're still a cop. I know this."  She got out when he stopped, walking over to an ATM to withdraw some cash, then disappeared.  She realized she had left one of her guns in his car but she could get it back later if necessary.  Mom had more of them.  She got a cab and headed for the airport, weathering his odd looks back at her.  "I'm a Jigen, buddy, just drive," she said finally. He nodded and sped up.  Apparently he knew what was going on.  She got onto the plane and took off her jacket, letting Lotus look at the grazes.  "It's finished," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry it had to go that way," Ishi told her.  "If you need to cry, I'm here."  She nodded, sniffling a bit.  "It's all right.  It had to happen sometime."  He held her while she cried, letting her calm herself.  He glared at the stewardess.  "Her grandfather just tried to kill her."  The stewardess put up the stairs and hurried to get the pilot to start the plane.  Apparently they didn't want to be involved.

"Want me to warn daddy?" Arsene asked seriously.  "He wasn't looking too steady this morning."

"No, it'll be fine," Melissa said, pulling back to wipe off her cheeks. "I told my aunt to call him."  She sat down, buckling up as they started to taxi. "Where's Brad?"

"His mother wanted to see him so he'll be rejoining us on the way back," Lotus told her.  "Once we're in the air, I'll bandage those for you."

"Thanks, Lotus."

"You're welcome.  Was it bad?"

"I left one of my guns in Uncle Ray's car," she admitted.  "It's the one Mom gave me.  We may have to steal it back."

"Again, something we can do on the way back or have Brad do for us," Ishi noted, smirking at her.  "We'll call once we're on the ground."

"Sure, Ishi, thanks," Melissa sighed.  "I think I'm gonna nap for a few."

"Of course."  They watched as she fell asleep, then got together to plan how best to help her recover from this.  Your first one was always harder.

***

Lupin wandered out of his bedroom and down to Jigen's room, tapping gently.  "I seem to be the bearer of bad news today," he said dryly, making Jigen tense up where he was lying on his bed.  "Melissa went to see her grandfather."  Jigen let out a quiet swear.  "He pulled a gun on her according to your sister.  She walked out with a few small injuries."  Jigen sat up, taking the message he had written down.  "She said to call her."

"I'll be calling Melissa once she's on the ground," he vowed.

"That's okay, the next call I had was Vecchio.  She left her auto in his car.  She demanded that she was going so he went with her to make sure it didn't turn into a blood bath.  He stayed in the car."  Jigen shuddered.  "He pulled on her first, Jigen.  She wounded your sister on purpose and she left the butler alone.  Unfortunately he had a heart attack soon afterwards so he died."

Jigen nodded, rereading the message.  "Thank you, Lupin."

"Not an issue. If you want to go back, we'll go with you."

"No, it's something I have to do on my own."  He looked up at him.  "How was she that stupid?"

"She's fifteen, Jigen.  She's idealistic and she wanted to help you out some.  Even knowing what was going on wasn't enough to make her want to stop it.  Vecchio and Kowalski both warned her to leave Chicago as soon as she could.  She went there on purpose."

Jigen shook his head.  "It was dumb."

"Yeah, but that's what kids do for each other," Xander said from behind Jigen.  "Vecchio said he's sending me her gun.  He said he would make them come get it but they might hurt someone.  Melissa looked horrible.  He said she said that they pulled on her first."  Jigen nodded, staring at him.  "We all had to go through it, Jigen, and it's not like she knew him."

"That's cold, Xander," Lupin complained.

"It's what he told me when I had my first on-purpose shooting."  He looked at Jigen again. "She was trying to help you.  Bitching her out will only make her start to cry again.  Vecchio said she was holding it in as much as she could but she was leaking when she left the car to catch a cab.  Plus, Brad's still in Chicago to talk to his mother."

Jigen nodded.  "Thanks, Xander.  It won't be much comfort to her."

"It wasn't to me either," Xander pointed out gently.  "The same as you said it wasn't for you.  If she changes her mind, I'll let her have the house in Mexico for her own."

"Thanks."  He looked at him.  "She okay?"

"She's fine.  Ishi said she's napping.  She cried on him and Lotus bandaged her two grazes.  She said she gave your sister the number here."

Jigen nodded.  "I understand.  I'll call later.  Can I be alone?"  They nodded, leaving him alone to curse at his daughter.  "She's not a fricken knight," he complained when he was done.  "That was dangerous."  He laid back down, staring at the note.  His daughter was in for it when she got home.  He heard movement in the hall and reached over to slam his door so he could be alone.  He didn't want to deal with Goemon today.  Xander had been right, she had to go through it sometime.  Even if this was for a very bad reason.

***

Brad looked up as Vecchio walked into the restaurant, waving him to the table.  "Thank you for agreeing to see me, Inspector."

"You can call me Ray, Brad," he said quietly, glancing around.  "What's wrong."

Brad took a deep breath.  "You know I'm an assassin candidate, right?" he asked, looking in Ray's eyes.  He saw the swallow and shook his head. "My final project is Melissa and Arsene.  My teacher hates them.  I can't do it," he admitted honestly.  "That means my teacher will either try to kill me or I'll be expelled."

"And you wanted what?  Protection?  We can do that," Ray agreed quickly.  This was a bad spot for anybody to be in, but a kid?  "If I can get Stan to go back there to get the teacher, if you'll give evidence, will you?"

Brad shuddered.  "It won't work, he'll be shot on sight."  He sipped his beer.  "Before you ask, I need it."

"I understand, Brad.  I'd want a few good shots myself," Ray promised.  "What do you want?  Advice?"

"No.  I want options," he admitted.  "I know I can't, Ray.  I'd rather die than hurt her.  But I don't want to die."

Ray nodded slowly.  "Okay.  Then we can still take you in.  If you can talk to the Headmistress and get her to graduate you anyway, I can get you into the ICPO academy with the girls."  Brad nodded slowly, staring at him again.  "Have you told her?"

"No.  I was going to head back tonight and talk to Jigen.  He seems like he knows the score.  He is a gunman.  I'm sure someone's tried this shit on him before."  Ray nodded, that was probably true.  "Did she really cancel the blood debt?"

"She killed her grandfather and most of his staff.  She left her aunt and the butler, but he died later on.  She did it in self-defense."

"See, I always thought she was the target sort.  That she'd never be able to be so cold and efficient about it."  He took another drink. "She's sweet, Ray.  She's very sweet and nice.  I love her.  I'd love to have her forever."

"Hey, if you can convince her to come over to our side, we'd do the dance of joy," Ray promised lightly, smirking at him.  "But I doubt it, kid."

"Yeah, me too.  She'd never leave the group.  She and Arsene are so tight they're nearly telepathic sometimes.  Ishi too."  He gulped the rest of it and stood up.  "Let me talk to Jigen.  Are you headed home?"  He nodded.  "Then you may be seeing me in a few days.  My mother knows and she said I couldn't.  She likes Melissa too," he sighed, walking off.  He found a cab easily enough, heading out to the airport and back to France.  He knew the way back to the house, he had memorized it on the way to the airport.  So it was easy enough to rent a car and headed back.  He pulled up outside the house, noticing how quiet it was.  He got out and walked inside, heading right to the kitchen.  Someone was usually in there.  It probably wasn't mannerly but it was too important. He found the housekeeper and Fred.  "Fred, can you please tell Jigen I need to talk to him very badly?" he asked gently, managing a small smile for the young boy.  He nodded and slid down, taking his sandwich with him.  "Where would be a good place for a private conversation?" he asked the nice older lady who liked to make Melissa eat cookies.

"The back porch.  There's a green table with an umbrella.  He likes to smoke out there."

"Thank you, ma'am."  He walked that way, sitting down to wait.  Jigen came out a few minutes later alone and Brad pushed out a chair.  "You'll want to sit down."

"You got one of the kids as a target?" he asked, not moving further.

Brad nodded.  "Arsene and Melissa both.  And I'm not doing it.  I can't, sir."  Jigen sat down, looking at him.  "I absolutely know I can't.  Putting myself against your kids, I know I can't do this.  I had a bout of conscience last year when I had to pull a target.  I did it but I had nightmares for a few weeks.  I know damn well I can't do this one and especially not to them."  He cleared his throat.  "I've talked to Ray since he pretended to be my father for a while and he offered to send me to the ICPO academy if I can get a certificate of graduation."

Jigen nodded slowly.  "At least you're honest.  How long have you had this one?"

"Two weeks.  I've been thinking the whole time.  Earlier today, your daughter did something I know I can't.  I'd never be able to walk into that sort of situation and come out alive and unmessed from wetting myself," he said with a wry grin down at his lap.  "I feel like I should be doing that right now."

"Don't do that on the porch, kid," Xander said as he came out to join them.  "Before you ask, I heard from another candidate who I'm on the board for."  Jigen looked at him.  "I also knew he couldn't and I've warned the girls to be careful since I know he's not the only one who got it.  I leveled with Melissa.  They're planning on taking out the teacher when they get back."  He looked at the boy.  "What do you want, Brad?"

"I want to not be an assassin," he said honestly, looking up at him.  "I can't do what you do.  I'd be dead within a few years by my own hand."

"Can you stand to do the same thing for the cops?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "I know I can trust Ray.  I did even when I realized he wasn't my father.  If that makes sense."

"It does.  I've always gotten that feeling from Ray."  Xander patted him on the back.  "Let me call the Headmistress on your behalf to get your certificate.  You will be telling Melissa the truth about why you're breaking up."  He nodded.  "Good boy, Brad.  I expect you to be a great cop, the sort that we protect.  Got it?"  He nodded, giving him a weak smile.  "Let me go call."  He left them alone.

Jigen looked at the boy.  "Is that really your choice, kid?  There's going to be some who'll try for you because you turned."

"Yeah, but they're thieves and gunman as well.  I'd be better protected there.  I'd be stopping assholes like my real father.  I can be a cop, sir.  I may not be able to be a SWAT member, but I can be a cop," he said with a touch of humor.  "I swear to you, I won't tell them anything about this house or this family.  I'd never do that to Melissa, sir.  And if she still wants me knowing this, I'll gladly keep her.  I love her more than anything.  That's why I can't."

Jigen patted him on the arm. "I believe you, kid.  She will to.  I agree, you're going to be the one to tell her.  Not me, I don't need to be cried on."

"Yes, sir.  Should I fly to Mexico?"

"No, wait here for her.  It'll be fine," Lupin called from the kitchen.  "They're coming back tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Lupin," Jigen called.  He looked at Brad.  "Try to break it to her easy, kid."

"Sir, if I may ask, if she allows me, can I kiss her?"

"If she allows it.  It'd better be all you do though," he said, staring him down.  The boy blushed.  "I understand.  I leave that up to her good sense in this case.  This is extraordinary circumstances."  He got up, heading back inside.  "You can have the room you had before."

"Thank you, sir."  He let out a breath, then got up to head to the nearest bathroom.  He had thought for sure Lavelle was going to cap him when he appeared.  He was fierce in the protection of his children, everyone knew that.

***

Four days later, Melissa came home.  She and Brad had went away from the house to talk, she had requested it because her family was nosy, her words, and she knew that her innocence was over with but she didn't care.  She looked up at the cleared throat, finding her crew on the stairs waiting for her.  "We cap that teacher when?" she asked calmly.

"Two days after we get back.  The plan's already in motion," Arsene assured her.  "Your plan is flawless as always, 'Lis."

Ishi coughed.  "Your father wanted to talk to you about what happened in Chicago and Mom has your pistol," he admitted. "Vecchio sent it to him."

"Thanks.  I handed Brad into his care about an hour ago and he said he did."  She headed for the study, that's where all serious discussions happened.  She found her uncle in there waiting on her. "Uncle Lupin, where's daddy?"

"He's letting me handle this one," he admitted.  "Come in and close the door, Melissa."  She did so, standing in front of his desk.  "He was very disappointed that you broke orders to go see the old man.  He didn't want you involved in that mess."

"Unfortunately I was born, I was involved already," she reasoned.  "The next generation had already been told about it and ordered to carry it on.  I checked with some locals out there before I went there."

He sat up, staring at her.  "Even with that, it was dangerous, foolish, and stupid."  She flinched.  "He wants to bitch you out, that's why he's letting me.  I know you felt you had to, but there's every chance you could have died.  Those two grazes you got could have easily been fatal.  Both of them."  She nodded quickly, staring over his shoulder.  "He doesn't hate you, Melissa, he just wishes you hadn't had to do that and that you showed some of those brains of yours in common sense.  That's something for the whole family to take care of, not just a lone Jigen gunman.  You're great, but you're still mortal and you don't want your father to bury you.  I know you were suppressing that," he said when she started to sniffle, "but that's all he could think about it when I told him."  She nodded, starting to cry for real. "C'mere," he said gently, opening his arms.  She came around and cuddled on his lap.  "Next time, warn us and we'll go with you, sweetheart.  This isn't a job for a single Jigen.  This is a job for all the Jigens and all the Lupins and all the Goemons.  He still didn't want you to have to see that part of the life though."

"I'm sorry, Uncle Lupin, but I felt I had to.  It wouldn't be finished until a real Jigen stopped it.  It was going to keep going and if I had kids, it'd be over their heads too."  She wiped off her face.  "I'm sorry I worried him."

"That's fine."  He pointed at where Jigen was sitting in the corner, letting her head over to hug him.  He opened his arms without saying a word, letting her curl up on him.  "I do believe we should celebrate this, but it might be seen to be in bad taste," he offered.

"Celebrate the fact that I finally got the Fiat done, Uncle Lupin," she said quietly.  "Not this."  She looked up at her father.  "You knew?"

"I got told by your aunt," he admitted.  "Then I talked to Brad."  She blushed. "I leave that up to your good sense, daughter.  This isn't a normal circumstance."  She nodded.  "Are you okay?"

"Just fine, daddy.  Brad and I had a long discussion and worked everything out between us.  I agree, he's doing the wise and right thing by going to Uncle Ray."  She hugged him again. "I'm sorry, daddy, I couldn't."

"Shh, princess. I understand. That's one of those things I'll forgive. But not again until you're old enough, okay?"  She nodded, sniffling again.  "Now, clean up and we'll order dinner tonight."  She nodded, grabbing some tissues to blow her nose and wipe her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Lupin asked gently.  She nodded.  "Good girl, 'Lis.  I knew you'd be a great asset to the field when you were old enough.  I just wish you had been older."  He got up and got his own hug.  "Okay, enough of this.  Let's go order dinner.  Fred wanted Cantonese if you wanted to vote with him.  He's threatening to pout otherwise."  He grinned at her.  "Your choice of course."

She nodded.  "I like Cantonese and you can't get good food  from other countries in Italy.  I haven't had stir fry since we got there.  All we ever eat is Italian," she complained, making her father chuckle and give her a squeeze.  "I'm not in trouble?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "C'mon, let's go humor the tit monster."

"He was cuddled up to Lotus and Arsene but he didn't even try to hug me," she admitted, walking out with them.  "Hi, Fred.  Did you want to share some Beef with me tonight?"

He nodded, sucking on his thumb. "You not cuddly now," he said sadly.

"Huh?" Ishi asked.

"I'll be damned," Arsene said in awe.  "Really?"

"Huh?" Melissa echoed.

Lupin the Third coughed.  "Some of us can tell Virgins.  They seem sweeter to us, like a really good piece of chocolate from Geneva against something from Hershey."  He shrugged.  "Sorry."

"That's okay.  It was extreme circumstances."  She looked at Arsene.  "Brad was one of those given the job to kill us.  He's going to join Vecchio."

Arsene whistled.  "Well," she said fondly, smirking at her.  "Okay then.  Another very good reason the teacher shall suffer my mighty wrath.  By the way, Mom looked at the plans and tweaked one thing slightly.  Which will cause embarrassment."

"That's fine.  I bow down to mom's expertise," she agreed calmly.  "We're having Cantonese tonight."  Everyone shrugged, that was fine with them too apparently.

"And then we're going to be answering embarrassing questions like 'where's your patch'?" Xander said from the top of the stairs.  Melissa immediately pulled up her shirt to show it off.  "Good girl.  That's fine. I will agree to that sideswipe of the rules since this was so serious.  That doesn't not mean the rest of you can, Arsene."

"Yes, mom."

"Thank you.  Someone order dinner, I'm starved.  Alan sent me nerds and asked me to look over his idea."

Lupin nodded, going to do that from the office.  "The usual, Xander?"

"Yeah, please."

Lupin paused and winced, then grabbed his back suddenly.  "Ow."  He looked at his hands and the wrinkles, then at Jigen and Xander, who were their correct ages as well.  All the kids were staring in shock.  "Can we kill the statue?"

"Very easily," Xander agreed, wincing as he went back up the stairs to talk to him.  "You mother fucking asshole!" floated down the stairs, and that was the mildest rendition of the speech before dinner.

***

Lupin looked at his body that night, noticing it was slightly younger again.  He looked forty instead of his actual sixty.  "Gee, thanks," he said bitterly.

Xander walked in, still looking his actual age. "I feel like hell."

"Yeah, I'm guessing he's still punishing you," Lupin soothed, helping him into his tub.  His tub had water warmers that kept the water a set temperature. He also had the whirlpool attachment that would help some of the aches.  "Want me to talk to him?"

"No, leave the asshole alone," Xander said tiredly. "I don't care. I was ready to retire before, I'm still ready to retire.  This last sale was just another push in the correct direction."  Lupin nodded but didn't say anything so Xander leaned back and closed his eyes.  He didn't want to look at his body.  His illusion choker wasn't working anymore either.

"I'll get you something to drink, Xander. You rest," Lupin said quietly.  He left, closing the bathroom door and the bedroom door so he could go into Xander's bedroom.  He found his daughter in there arguing with the statue.  "Leave him alone, Arsene."  She nodded, leaving them alone.  "Why are you punishing him for choosing to be happy?"

"Because we will lose him sooner."

"We're all going to be losing him immediately now," Lupin told them.  They both glared at him.  "He aches, guys.  This was what was driving the retirement feelings before.  He was going to go then, he will go now.  That sale this morning was just enough push to let him live comfortably without having to sell anything else."  They shook their heads. "Yeah, it was.  Read him if you don't believe me.  By the way, making him look at his tattoos and making everyone able to see them was very unkind.  You know how much he hates to see those things."

"Fine, we will read him and grant him the boon to have his necklace working again," the frowning face said.

"Thank you.  That's all I ask.  Remember, the future changes with each decision."  He got up and went down to get Xander a drink.  On the way his female form sprouted so he groaned but he wasn't going to argue with the God about this.  If Janus wanted to torture them for sticking up for Xander, he had that right.  They could pray to the others to get some help hopefully, but it may not work.  He found his daughter in the kitchen.  "Arsene, can you have Melissa look up how to pray properly to Hermes and what we'd need?  I want a second opinion now."

"Sure, dad.  I'll also look up the one to pray to Loki."

"Thanks, sweetheart."  He grabbed some juice and headed back up the stairs, going to give it to Xander.  He found him unconscious in the tub but that was normal for Janus apparently.  He sat there to watch him, resisting the urge to play with the nice tits he had.  He liked breasts as much as his son did.

***

Xander looked around the temple and sneered at the person on the throne.  "Yes?  You wanted to fuck up my life worse?" he asked the single headed deity up there.

"No, Xander, I want to help you," he said calmly.

Xander frowned, noticing that the guy reminded him a lot of Alan.  "Are you looking like my boyfriend to make me feel better?"

"Something like that," he agreed smugly.  He looked over as the doors burst open and Janus walked in with a man behind him.  "You fucked up, he's mine now," he said smugly.  "I can grant you your youth again," he said calmly.  "Put your body back where it was when it was eighteen.  I can keep you out of those stupid chokers.  All you have to do is include me with him, Xander."

"He is mine!" Janus shouted.  "You have no right!"

"I have every right," the other god sneered.  "You passed him on.  The rules set down about him state that he is now open to finding another personal deity.  Therefore I'm offering my services."  He smiled at Xander.  "Personally, I like you with Alan and I liked you with the thieves, so whatever you want to do is good with me, Xander.  I just like watching you work them to death in bed."

"Are you a love god?"

"No, honey, I'm a God of Chaos," he said with a smarmy grin.

"Okay, so that's why the grin reminds me of a car salesman.  Got it."  He looked at Janus.  "You did that to me a lot when we first hooked up too.   He's right.  I'm not gonna be yours if you do this to me.  I ache enough to want to kill my ass right now.  What makes you think I want that?"  Janus grabbed his head and screamed, making Xander chuckle.  "Payback's a bitch.  I'll tell Arsene that you have those too.  It'll make both of ours more pleasurable in the future."

The other god coughed.  "That's one thing I can't grant you."

"Arsene?"

"No, the visions, boy.  I can't do that."

"That's fine.  I hate them," Xander agreed happily.  "The splitting headaches aren't going to come, that makes me one happy prince of hell."

Janus moved closer and grabbed him, staring into his eyes.  "Fine, the paths have changed without us noticing.  You may be happy for the next ten or twelve years. The other problem will come to pass however.  People will still go for Alan.  Lupin and Jigen will still be yours, all you have to do is ask.  I doubt Alan will be staying once he hears about the latest problems."  He let Xander go and fixed him, making him his twenty-year-old self again.  "There.  Better?"

"Did you fix Lupin and Jigen?"

"There is a prophecy about that," he said coolly.

"Fine.  Which book?"

"Ethan has it."

"Fine.  Are we stuck in the house still?"  Janus shook his head.  "And you're going to quit plaguing me?"  Janus nodded so he looked at the other God.  "You can jump in.  I'm still pissed.

The other God pouted at him. "Just add me now and then, we'll make some beneficial dreams when you need me. I look over your children, especially Alex, Xander. Be at ease, she will not come to your end.  She'll happily be a grandmother before she dies."  Xander smiled at that.  "Also, she'll bear a slayer some year, long before she is ready. That is what will draw her into the fights."  Xander raised an eyebrow.  "Yes, very young but it will not be something you can do anything about.  If you have her marry the person who is the father it will drive her to death faster.  Remember that."  Xander nodded.  "Now then, call on me and I'll gladly come help you woo Alan down from his latest pout since you haven't answered him yet. Oh, and his idea, take it to that guy.  He'll love it," he said with a wink.  "Now, out!"  He flicked a hand and sent Xander back to his body and sent Janus back to his resting spot.  "Ahhh, a nice bit of work while I'm retired.  Maybe I should go blow some pot smoke at that stupid dragon again."  He got up to do that, popping off with an insane smirk on his face.

Xander woke up thrashing, feeling a hand on him.  He looked at Lupin, who was looking younger, and hugged him.  "We're free," he said happily.

"We are?"  Xander nodded so Lupin stood up, looking at himself in the mirror.  "Hot damn, I'm pretty," he said happily.  He looked Xander over.  "And look at you, studly," he said with a smirk.

"I'm still not breaking you in," Xander said happily, heading out to talk to Jigen, who had drunk himself to sleep again.  He tapped gently, then pounced him, grinning down at him.  "Hi.  Look in the mirror," he said when Jigen opened his eyes enough to scowl.

Jigen got free and looked at himself, then nodded.  "Good.  Finally."  He looked at Xander.  "I take it you're feeling better?"

"Much.  Without the torture my knees underwent in hell, they'll last at least another thirty years."

"Good.  You're getting water all over my bed, Xander."

"Go sleep in my room, I'll sleep on a couch," he offered with a bright grin.  "We're also free of the house."

"Hell yeah," Jigen agreed happily. He picked up a cigarette and lit it, inhaling deeply.  "Ahhhh.  Go get dressed.  We'll go do something to celebrate."  Lupin let out a moan so they both chuckled. "Hey, Lupin, we're going out for a drink.  Wanna come?"

"Sure.  Let me change," she called, coming out of her bedroom.  She had on her favorite dress and heels.  "How do I look?"

"Pretty enough," Jigen agreed, putting on a suit and tie, while Xander went to put on some jeans and a t-shirt, all of which showed off his muscles impressively.  Jigen came in to get him and noticed a new candle set up on the altar.  "Who's that for?"

"The nice guy who just bargained with me and broke Janus into seeing the real paths ahead," he said happily.  "He kinda looked like Alan and said he wants to see me shag him into the mattress."  He grabbed his keys.  "Where are we heading and are we taking Goemon?"

"Goemon, we're going to a club to get a drink," Lupin called. "Wanna come?"

"No!"

"Fine.  We'll be back by dawn," Jigen called, heading out with Xander.   Xander grabbed his bike and took off while he got Lupin into the roadster and got in to drive.  He winked at her.  "Feel better?"

"Hell no.  I hate having internal organs.  I'd rather have the tits and my dick, but I'm not going to be picky."

"Sure, Lupin," Jigen said patiently, taking off down the driveway.  Sometimes you just had to humor a Lupin.   They finally caught up with Xander and passed him so Xander laughed and passed them and sped up, heading for the nearest small club that they liked to unwind at.   No one there cared who they were.  By the time they got there, Xander was in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by girls and the music was nearly blaring tonight.  Jigen helped Lupin out and inside, going to join the dancing.  They were young.  So when Lupin got cut off from him by another guy he just shrugged it off and went to get a drink.  Lupin would be coming back soon enough.

Between songs, Xander called Alan.  "I'm at a club teasing the women.  I'm free, Janus has seen reason and I'm free.  When's your next weekend free?" he asked smoothly, laughing at the answer.  "No, I didn't have the chance. I ended up feeling old earlier tonight and unable to move.  Sure, of course I will.  When's your next weekend free?"  He smirked. "Fine with me, love.  I'll see you down there.  Huh?" he asked, he had been about to hang up.  "Sure, I don't care if you don't.  Why?"  He snickered.  "I promise, it won't save you if I sleep with a girl tonight. I'm saving my true skills for you, babe."  He smirked. "Later, love.  Be ready for me."  He hung up and went back to tease the women.  Since he had permission and all.....

Lupin came to the bar from the floor, grimacing.  "Men are pigs to a pretty girl."

"Tell me about it," Jigen complained, handing over his drink.  "Here, have one.  You look unhappy."

"I'm not, but I wanted someone who had some finesse to grab my boobs."  He gulped it.  "Think we can beg and plead Alan to borrow Xander?"

"Sure, why not?" Jigen said dryly.  "He'll probably not kill us for that."

"Eh, I'll call him later," Lupin said with a happy smirk.  "Come on, Jigen.  If I get to be sweaty, so do you."  He looked around. "Where's Xander?"

"The back room I think," the bartender said, handing over a card.  "Someone left this if you ever came back in here with him, Jigen."  Jigen took it with a nod.  "Have a happy night, guys."

"Thanks, man," Jigen agreed, leading Lupin out onto the floor.  He looked at the card and winced.  "A succubus."

"Charming."  Lupin snatched it then followed the crowd back to the back room, going to beat the demonic whore off their Xander.  "Ours, dear."  The demon hissed at them.  "Xander, that's a succubus, you know that right?" Lupin asked.

"Yeah, kinda nice.  She's sucking down some of the excess energy so I don't kill someone tonight."  He smirked at her.  "Nearly done?"  She pouted so he patted her on the side of the face and moved his collar, making her stomp off.  "Okay. I'm having fun now."  He smirked at them.  "We should go somewhere to have real fun."

"No, I don't need more guys groping me," Lupin said dryly.

"So try the second catch, does it work?" Xander asked patiently.  Lupin tried it and shook his head.  "Damn, it should.  Ethan said it should when I called him on the way up.  He's forwarding the prophecy by the way."  He got up with Jigen's help.  "C'mon, let's go have fun and dance some more.  Alan suggested I wear myself out tonight so I don't kill him this weekend."

"Can we borrow you then?" Lupin asked hopefully.  Xander gave him an odd look. "Please?  Who else knows my body like you, Xander?"

"Call him and ask.  I refuse to touch you unless he's either watching or has approved of it."

Lupin nodded. "I agree totally and if he wants to come watch, we can do that," she promised, calling Alan's cellphone.  It was right after his daughters in his phonebook.  "Hey, Alan, it's Lupin.  Yeah, the choker got me again.  I was wondering....can we beg and borrow Xander?  No, but who else knows us and Jigen did the same thing for him when he was first in the choker.  Please?" he pleaded.  "Pretty please.  Xander said he wouldn't unless you had at least agreed and possibly only if you were watching."  He smirked.  "Thanks, man, you're a peach.  No, I don't think you'd want to watch him have het sex, Alan.   No, we'll tape it but you won't have to watch it unless you want.  Thieve's honor, man.  Bless you, Alan."  He hung up.  "We're on.  He agreed."

"Fine," Jigen agreed, following him out to the dance floor to steal their Xander back. "Alan agreed.  We've got to tape it just in case."

"Sure," Xander agreed, shrugging.  "I'm good for that.  Here and now?"

"No, how about at home after the kids leave?" Lupin suggested, moving against his chest. "Please?  Make it sweet and special?"

"Sure, babe."  He kissed her, making her moan, then kissed Jigen, making him go weak kneed.  "Be good.  We'll talk about this when we get home."  They nodded and started to dance, Jigen given up after a few minutes to go back to the bar.  But Lupin was having fun and it was going to last until they kicked them out.

***

Xander looked around the room, smiling at the candles set up.  This was much better than his in the hotel.  He looked at Lupin, who was coming out of the bathroom.  "You're sure?  You sure you want me to do this for you?"

"Yeah, only you can find those spots on me," she agreed, dropping her towel.  "Thankfully the daughter left earlier today.  Otherwise I'd never hear the end of it."  She laid down on the bed and gave him a grin.  "Come on, Xander.  You're procrastinating. I know you've popped plenty of cherries."

"Yeah, but they were usually male ones," he said as he laid down next to her, kissing her gently.  She moaned and stroked across his chest.  "Naughty you, you did some preparation work, didn't you?" he taunted.

"Hell yes.  That shower was just right to play with my nipples."  She stroked them so he kissed them for her, making her arch up into his mouth when he sucked one hard.  "Xander!"

Jigen opened the door.  "Stop, now!" he yelled.  He walked in and drug Xander off the bed. "No!"

"Jigen, you had better have a damn good explanation," Lupin growled.

"How about you having a warrior for chaos?  Is that good enough?" Jigen asked dryly, holding up the book.  "The prophecy.  Marc just brought it."

"What?"

"Yeah, you, Lupin."  He handed over the book, settling Xander into his lap so he could read it too.  "Whichever of us has him will get knocked up."

"No, uh-huh, the family is big enough," Lupin decided, struggling to get the choker off.

Xander's voice came out in a different timber of chuckle.  "How very cute, mortals disagreeing with the hand of fate."

"Hmm, and not Janus this time either," Lupin said dryly, getting to her knees.  "Get it off me.  Now."

"Why should I?  I could use a strong warrior."

"You've got plenty.  Besides, our kids will only be thieves, with two exceptions.  Thanks for playing, now go away and let us go."

"If I do, he will never touch you again.  If you ever put it on, I will know and ...."  She shrieked and grabbed the head she was in. "Nooooooo!"

Xander cleared his throat, sounding like Janus again.  "She's sorry she did that.  We do not need more children from your line, although Goemon will have one more in his old age somehow."  He reached up and undid Jigen's collar.  "I will give this family the same boon so that I do not lose Xander.  She and the others are presently wanting him very badly.  They will mess up my plans for him and the children. I would hate that more."  He undid Lupin's collar, handing it to him.  "One of them must go to Alex when she is old enough.  One of them will stay in the rest of the family.  It is now without the fertility charm she laid on it.  Do not use it again tonight, he'll have a headache."  Xander went limp in Jigen's arms.

"Well, there goes my plans for the night," Lupin sighed, getting up to blow out the candles.  "Why us?"

"Because they really like Xander."

"A lot of people really like Xander," Lupin said dryly.  "Including us."

"Yeah, but we've only got one person to steal him from, Lupin.  We can do that. We're the world's best thieves."

"Yeah, we are, aren't we?" he agreed happily.  "Thanks, buddy."  They tucked Xander into the bed between them, getting in to keep him warm and comfy.  After all, Xander's were very cuddly beasts in the middle of the night and it was enough for now.

Sacrifices

"We must have one who is pure of thought, pure of deed, and pure of heart, one who is from the right bloodlines," the old man read from the ancient book.  "There is a genealogy table here so we may be able to figure out which families this esteemed line ended up in."  He closed the book carefully, looking at the men staring at him.  "I have done some of the beginning research on the families.  There are two good candidates.  One who is impure of deed and probably thought, but may still be pure of heart, and one who is impure of deed definitely in most senses of the word and impure of heart most likely, and impure of thought almost assuredly."  They groaned in unison.  "I can continue to research but there may not be many good candidates and we are running out of time."

"We should gather them," one of the men decided. "You keep searching.  Perhaps another one will come up while we are retrieving them. Give me the names and I will have someone search for them."

The old man handed over two slips of paper. "That is their workplaces, and in one case school."

"Is either female?"

"Yes, the less pure one is female," he agreed.  "She is barely the age of consent and is closer.  The other travels extensively for his work.   She would be easier to capture.  Possibly also more pleasing to the creature as well."

"We'll see once we find her.  Why is she so impure?"

"She's a thief from a great line.  She already has many thefts to her credit.  I'm not sure if she is pure enough for the creature or not."

"The other?"

"Is older, has been married in the past, but has been celibate for a while now."

"Hmm."  He nodded.  "We will go for the girl first.  It would be classical and more practical. The creature has always preferred women."  He handed the slips to two of his people, nodding at them to go.  They bowed and left, going out on their sacred mission to save their people's lives from the creature.  He looked at the old man.  "Find other targets.  Neither of those is ideal."

"I know, but it may be the best we can have this generation."  He shrugged.  "There have been many dead ends in the lines."

"Fine, try anyway.  Maybe a sideline?  We don't want to involve other lines, just in case the creature is displeased."  He walked off, going to contemplate the possibilities.  It would be very bad if they didn't placate the creature and everyone died because of it.

***

Ray Vecchio looked up as Ray Kowalski, fellow detective and pain in his ass roommate, walked into their shared office, grunting in displeasure.  "What did you do now?" he asked when he saw the confused look.

"Someone outside asked if I was boinking Bix," he said, shaking his head hard.  "I don't know why, but he was really odd.  I need a drink sorta odd."

"Why would they care?"

"I don't know," Ray admitted, sitting down behind his desk.  "This is the sorta thing that I'd usually call Xander and whine about."

"Then do that.  Maybe he's got a clue.  He deals with the strange and odd."

"He's still mad at us."

"So?  This would end up being something he'd have to deal with if you don't."

"Bet me," Ray said dryly.  "Why would he have to deal with someone wanting to know my sex life?  Maybe it's just a reporter or something.  I'm bein' paranoid."

"Maybe," Vecchio agreed, going back to his email.  "Then again....  Better safe than sorry."

"Better safe from botherin' Xander and alive than botherin' him and bein' dead."

"True," Vecchio agreed.  "Where's the power couple?"

"Court.  Then we've got a meeting when they get back with the commissioner about the newest threat.  We just added one to the list."

"Wonderful," Vecchio drawled. "Just what we need, more creeps to chase around the world."

The door opened and all they got to see was some fog as it slowly drifted in and knocked them both out.

The two men in robes walked in and gathered their target, taking him back to their lands.  It was time for him to be tested to see if he was the one they needed.

***

Arsene looked up as Ishi called her name, grimacing at him.  "You look like hell, dear.  What happened?"

"Girlfriend problems."  He sat down next to her.  "Why is it that no woman wants to date me, they only want to sleep with me?  I would much rather have something meaningful than something tawdry and meaningless."

"You sound more and more like your pop every day," she said dryly, smirking at him.  "They only want to sleep with you because you've got a hot ass and cute hair.  You've also got some good muscles according to some who've seen you work out shirtless in the past.   Then again, some of the girls and boys coo because you're so deadly and that makes you very hot to them.  You really do need someone with a mop to follow you around, on days that you practice especially."

"I'll keep that in mind," he said bitterly.  "I wonder if my father has these problems."

"No, but Lotus sure does."

"Hmm.  That's a thing to stop and to take our attention," he noted dryly, watching his sister work out on the blindfold course.  She was hitting each target, knocking out each obstacle as they came for her, and she was doing very good.  Only a few things had hit her and nothing had knocked her balance off truly yet.  "I do wish she would wear a proper bra."

"They throw her off balance, Ishi. It's not her fault your mother's breasts mutated and gave poor Lotus a G cup."  Ishi shuddered.  "I know, but as soon as she quits growing all the fathers have promised reduction surgery so she doesn't look like a stripper anymore.  Until then, we may want to use her as a distraction now and then."

"I heard that," Lotus snapped, defeating the last obstacle, the teacher, before jumping down and taking off her blindfold.  "Only if you make Melissa do it."  She brushed her hair back and bowed to her teacher.  "I was faster this time."

"You were.  A bit less careful as well," he chastised.

"Yes, but I didn't lose my balance."

"I am impressed with that, Lotus.  Are you ready for your tests next week?"  She nodded.  "You do know that your father may be up to watch?"

"Can I do mine without him?  He makes me nervous and fluttery."

"You won't be able to see him.  If he does show up, I'll make sure he does not watch yours.  There will be other Masteries that he'll need to watch, including your brother's.  Therefore we'll put them at the same time as yours."  She nodded, grinning at him.  "Now, go cool down and relax.  Do you have another class today?"

"No, but we were going to suntan on the top of the West tower."

"Even better.  You are a bit pale, Lotus.  Take your brother with you.  That way the girls will find all new things to go gushy about."  She giggled and nodded, jogging off to take them with her, going up to shower and change, and probably shave since she needed to.  She walked into her room, smirking at her roommate. "Hey, Miriam, are you done for the day?  We're going to suntan up on the West Tower."

"I can be," she offered.  She stood up and grabbed her modest bathing suit, looking at Lotus' suit.  "Don't you have to shave everything to wear that since it's white?"

"No, but I probably should," she admitted.  She shrugged.  "I guess I can try it.  I do have that herbal stuff for my legs."  She grabbed it and went into their shared bathroom, closing the other side.  "I'm shaving," she called when she heard the outer door open.

"Fine, Lotus.  We'll air out the room later."  They had gotten used to Lotus and her funny smelling goops and potions since the two rooms shared a bathroom.

Lotus slathered the thick syrup over all her body, getting every nook and cranny of it.  Then she waited the usual ten minutes and got into the shower to rinse it off.  She squeaked when she saw how good it worked on her mound, then smirked.  That was just an odd sight on her own body.  But she rather liked it.  She carefully wiped herself with a washcloth to make sure it was all gone, then did her hair and got out, putting on the oil before her suit.  It was easier that way.  Her white bikini went on next, then she stepped out to find sandals and a towel, putting her hair up with two hair sticks.  "There, I feel better now," she decided, making Miriam giggle.  "Come on, or else we'll have to make due with a corner spot."  They hurried up to the top of the boys' tower and found only Melissa had made it up there.  Of course, she probably hadn't had to shave.  She had very little body hair.  They stretched out, Lotus putting the oil above her head in case Arsene forgot to use any this time, and closed her eyes so her back could tan first.  Her front didn't need quite as much color.

Ishi joined them and grunted in displeasure at his sister's suit.  "That is rather thin, Lotus."

"It's not like the boys are watching and if you're getting hard from staring at me, your sister, then you're a sick human being, Ishi," she said quietly, smirking at him.  He spanked her, making her yell, but she kicked him back, driving him against the low wall.  "Remember, father has other sons and Yu is young enough to rename," she pointed out meanly.

He pouted as he spread his towel out.  "I'm going to tell Uncle Lupin you said that and take a picture of you in that...."  He paused when she stood up.  "Why did you shave there?"

"Because it shows if I don't according to my roommate," she said patiently.

"Why are you looking at that area of her body, Ishi?" Miriam asked.

"Because he's always been Lotus' behavior monitor," Melissa told her, turning her head to look at her.  "He's always been like this.  It's like she's a delicate little person and he's got to protect her, no matter how many times he sees her kicking everyone's ass.  His dad's the same way about her."

Lotus nodded. "Unfortunately true."  She laid down again, getting comfortable.  "Did Lupin have to shave?"

"Yup, she sure did, and she got stopped and asked for fashion advice," Melissa said smugly.  "No one ever asks me."

"They probably wanted to talk about skirts and stockings, not something you usually wear," Ishi noted.

"Very true," Melissa agreed happily.  She turned her head in the other direction.  "Miriam, did you put on oil?  Remember, you burn, sweetie."

"Shit."

Ishi snorted, coming over to grab his sister's oil and put some on her back.  "Here, let me."

"Thanks, Ishi.  We love you like our brother."  She grinned up at him.  "And I don't even pick on you."

"No you don't.  Thank you for that.  It's nice in a sister-figure."  He got her legs next, then moved to get her arms.  "Here.  Anything on your front you'll have to get."  He went back to his spot next to the wall.  He didn't really need much sun.  He was already fairly well tanned just by working out without a shirt on.   Which, of course, his father would stop if he knew about.  After all, Goemon Ishikawa the Thirteenth hated that his first born son was a sex object to so many girls.  He grunted in great displeasure at them whenever they tried to approach him.

A few hours later, when Lotus woke up on her back, she looked around.  "Hey, Jigen?"  Melissa grunted.  "Where's Lupin?"

"I guess she got involved in her stuff," she said tiredly.  "Why?"

Lotus checked her watch.  "Lupin may like clothes as much as the next girl, but not three hours worth," she noted calmly.  Ishi hopped up, so she did, and then they hauled Melissa up and down the stairs.  "Miriam, we're going looking for Lupin.  Want escorted down?"

"No, I'm fine," she said sleepily.  "I'll get one of the nicer boys to do it."

"Sure," Ishi called.  "I'll send one."  He walked into his common area, weathering the groans of longing.  "Miriam, Lotus' roommate, is up on our roof suntanning.  She'll need an escort back down."  One of the gayest of the gay assassins nodded at him.  "Thank you.  You might also want to help her with the oil problem she's having.  She's already red."  One of the non-gay assassin candidates leered at the stairs.  "She's sworn to protect her virginity, guys.  If you try, that'll upset Lotus."  They all shuddered.  Lotus had nearly killed a boy for trying to cop a feel about a week earlier, they weren't going to upset her any more than they could help.  "Thanks."  He strolled off, going to the girls' side.  The monitor gave him an odd look as he walked past her.  "We were suntanning.  Lupin never showed up.  They're looking for her now."

"Would...you...mind terribly..putting on a shirt, Ishi?" she said, hesitant pauses where she was biting on her lower lip.  "You'd be quite a distraction for those poor girls after all."

He gave her an odd look. "Unless they get past my sister, Jigen, and Lupin, I'm not allowed to date."

"Pity," the monitor muttered as he walked off.  "I wonder if Goemon looked like that when he was younger," she mused as she walked off.

Ishi walked into his sister's room.  "That's it, I want to be a scrawny nerdly boy," he announced, slamming the door.  Lotus gave him an odd look.  "Your hall monitor just drooled on me."  He wiped at a spot of drool on his shoulder.  "See!"

"Well, you are cute in an annoying way.  Turn around so I can finish changing."  He sighed but did so.  "Thank you."  She slid into her top and buttoned her jeans, then turned back around.  "Okay, I'm decent."

"You'd better put on a bra," he noted, blinking at her.  "Lotus, you can clearly see that you aren't participating in any form of restraint on those things.  Please put on a bra?"  She sighed but nodded, digging one out.  He stepped outside so she could do that, weathering the stares.  "Has anyone seen Lupin?  She was supposed to tan with us and never showed?" he asked the staring girls.  At least they could be of *some* use.  They were all too young for him.

"No, but I saw her heading for her room earlier," one offered with a shy smile.  "You look like you've been working out again, Ishi.  Are you lifting weights?"

"No, only doing my katas and training," he admitted.  He gave her an odd look because she should know that with as much time as she spent watching him.  "No one saw Lupin after that?"

"She got a message at the gate," Melissa called as she walked up the stairs.  "Ladies, Ishi is not a piece of art to stare at. No matter how sculpted you think he is."   She knocked on Lotus' door before sticking her head in.  "Lupin may have went off campus.  She got a message at the gate."

"Fine. I'm putting on real clothes.  Go make my brother put on more than spandex panties."

"They are not!" he said hotly.  "Lotus!"

"They looked like them," one girl offered, starting to giggle.

"But we'd think you'd look great in a thong, Ishi," another added, breaking out into giggles of her own.

"I tried them, they're uncomfortable," Ishi told her.  "The same way loincloths are."  He stomped back to his room to put on clothes, running into the headmistress on the way.  "Where did Lupin go?"

"I was going to ask one of you the same question," she admitted, looking at the girls following him around.  "Is there a problem, ladies?"

"No, I just wanted Ishi's opinion on my new dress," one of them asked, holding up a flimsy piece of lingerie.

"If you wear that outside, you'll probably look like a whore," Ishi told her.  "It's much too thin to be a real dress.  Try for something classic.  The men in my family like women who have class, taste, and look very hot in their clothes."  She nodded, going back to find something better to tempt him with.  He stepped closer to the older woman.  "One of the hall monitors drooled on me," he said quietly.  "Is there any way I can get Lotus to do a repulsion charm?"

She giggled, patting him on the back.  "I doubt it would work, Ishi.  This is one of the beauties of being cute and popular.  Go change.  If you're going to find her, I want to know in advance."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed, going to change into something more suitable for being off campus.  He could probably walk out this way and stun a great many women, but that wouldn't get much done.  He came out in time to find the girls heading his way and nodded at them.  "The Headmistress wanted to know why Lupin went off campus too."

"Fine, then we'll get the Fiat out of the garage.  I need to put a thing of oil in it but it shouldn't take more than a few minutes."  They nodded, heading to pick up equipment from the infirmary and the weapons cabinet.  They'd probably need it, unless Arsene had been offered a chance to go shopping again with one of the local boys who she thought was cute and hot.  Then they'd only need a stick to beat him with.

***

Lupin looked up as his computer beeped, smirking at the heading of the new message that had been sent to him.  He pushed the intercom button for the house.  "Guys, we got new pictures of the kids," he called.  He let the button go and opened the email, staring in open- mouthed shock at the pictures it contained.  So when Goemon came in, he could only whimper and point.

Goemon walked around to look at the pictures, stunned by the first one as well.  His daughter was very well built in that bikini.  "Is it my imagination or is she missing a suspicious amount of hair?"

"No, she shaves," Jigen noted as he came around to look. "Holy Mother of God," he hissed, blinking a few times.  "Wow, Goemon.  We've got to find someone to do that girl's reduction surgery."

Goemon grunted in displeasure, moving down the list.  Melissa's was enough to make Jigen choke on his current cigarette when he tried to swallow it. "I see your daughter went to the same store to get her bathing costume."

"That's a bikini, Goemon, you can't swim in something that tiny, it comes off," Lupin told him, shaking his head as he paged down.  "Oooh, and look at the Ishi son."  He smirked at his friend, who slapped him across the back of the head.  "I'm betting he's got some girls following him around."

Jigen took the keyboard to page back up to the text, snickering at what it said.  "Yeah, Ishi's being drooled on by the girls.  This is from when they were tanning on top of the boys' tower last night.  Hmm.  There's no picture of Arsene?"

"No, there's not," Goemon offered.  He looked at the pictures again, shaking his head.  His son and daughter needed to wear more clothes.  Melissa definitely needed to wear more clothes, her top barely covered her nipples.  He saw the name signed to it and smirked.  "I do believe that Wyatt is pouting about something."

"Yeah, that he can't be as hot as Ishi or score with Melissa or Lotus," Lupin put in.  Jigen got him this time, swatting him higher up, which messed up his hair.  "Hey!"

"Tough, deal with it," Jigen told him.  "Quit staring at their boobs."

"Yes, please quit staring at their boobs.  Why is there not a picture of Arsene?"

"Maybe because she's not wearing a cute bikini to tan in?" Jigen suggested.

"She tans naked, guys.  She said so in her last letter.  She got caught by DeMarllion on his second day back and had to turn him into a soprano."  The other fathers grunted in displeasure at that.   "I'm calling the school."

"Fine," Goemon agreed, going to sit down and wait.  Lupin would tell him if something was wrong with his children.  Or else.  Though he knew that already.

Jigen called Xander's phone, getting the happy, sated sounding Xander nearly immediately.  "We've got pictures of Melissa, Ishi, and Lotus suntanning.  Which addy do you want them sent to?  No, Wyatt did.  They've been tanning above the boys' dorm again."  He smirked and moved Lupin to send it to that address, which made Alan choke on the other end.  "Did he see Lotus or Ishi?  No, look at Ishi's, man.  He's being drooled on again."  He chuckled and hung up.  "Alan said that he might try girls for Lotus, Goemon."

"I'm not letting her share lovers with Xander," he said firmly.

Lupin hung up from his conversation.  "Arsene got a message at the gate, went to get it in her bathing suit, and then disappeared," he said calmly.  "The others went after her a few hours later when they realized she hadn't shown up to tan yet, and took the Fiat with them.  They haven't gotten back yet either."  He stood up and picked up Xander's special phone book, looking up a number in it, then dialed it.  "Vecchio, is Kowalski there?" he asked patiently.  "Because he's got a tracker on the Fiat and the kids are somewhere looking very hot.  Yes, our kids.  Jigen, send Vecchio a copy of those pictures as a bribe," he ordered, leaning back to listen to him rant.  "Now then, where is Ray?" he asked patiently.  He sat up suddenly.  "What do you mean someone gassed you and took him?  Who'd be that stupid!"  He snorted.  "No, Xander's in Australia fucking Alan stupid.  This is their special weekend."  He burst out in laughs.  "Ray just checked his email through his phone and choked," he told Goemon.  "Yeah, I know he does.  Because we've had to use it before to find Xander and Melissa.  Thanks.  It used to be in his desk drawer.  It's a blue one if that helps.  Even better.  Sure, we can meet you in Italy if they're there.  If not, give us a country."  He hung up.  "He's finding it and telling us where it is because Ray got stolen too."  Goemon glared at the opposite wall.  "Someone walked into Interpol headquarters, smoked them, then stole Ray from headquarters.  In the middle of the work day and no cops said anything about it."

"Interesting," Jigen agreed.  "If it's the same person, why would you need Kowalski and Lupin the Fourth together?"

"Something that takes brains and skills, but some patience?" Goemon suggested.

"No, I'm having one of those bad feeling moments about this, like there's a tingle in the back of my head about something and I don't know what."

Goemon pulled his sword to look at it.  "There's a very faint shadow of death," he admitted, putting it back.  "It's not very strong."

"Could that be because it's the kids?" Jigen demanded.

"No, when Ishi was nearly killed, the shadow was very strong and then it stopped suddenly before I could call and warn you.  It's possible it's the inspector that's in mortal danger."

"Okay, let's head to Italy, guys."  They nodded and went to pack, then headed out to the car.  Lupin also ducked into the library, finding his grandfather's journal in there on the table for some reason.  He ignored how it got there, sometimes they seemed to have a helpful ghost so he'd trust it this time as well.  He went out, hopping in to drive, letting Jigen hold the journal. "Find the danger in there," he ordered.  Jigen nodded, opening it to flip through.

***

Arsene woke up and shivered, looking around the stone room she was in.  "Who decorated?  Frankenstein?" she said bitterly.  She started to move but a shout stopped her.

"Don't get out of the box," Ray called.  "It'll shock you.  Tried that one already."

"Thanks for the warning," she called back.  "Got any idea why they wanted *us*?"  He shook his head so she grimaced and looked down at herself.  "Hey, it's not nice to redress a girl without her permission!" she yelled.

"You are quite loud," a male voice said as it came down the stairs.

"Yay me.  My sister's a cheerleader, since we're twins I guess it runs in the family.  You are?"

"I am Maral Cortez.  It is written in my family that there are times when certain extremes become necessary to save the entire world.  This is unfortunately one of those times.  Though, we do have one too many sacrifices.  As one of you is pure of deed, it should be her.  Though the male is the better purity choice overall."

"You're still a virgin?  I thought for sure you had snuck off by now," Ray said dryly.

"I almost did and then I remembered my sister's horrible example," she retorted, smirking at him.  "You know, you're kinda too old for me, but hey, any port in a storm to keep myself from being killed."

"The creature would not kill you, sweet one.  He merely needs the flesh of a female to be his so we're left alone.  Then again, there are some rather nice and tempting ones outside of the family.  In the past we have had to move outside the family lines, but it has brought the creature's visits closer together.  It is a hard dilemma on our parts."

"You fucking sicko," she stated.  "If you've touched any of my family, I will get out of this box and kill your ass in many bad and nasty ways."

"Such language," he said, glaring at her.  "You will do no such thing, young lady."  Ray groaned, he knew better than to challenge a Lupin.  "What?" he demanded.

"This," she said, getting the anklet free and jumping him, beating him with the iron thing until she could clamp it around his wrist and shove him into the box.  She walked over to where Ray was, tossing him the keys she found on the table.  "If those aren't it, I'll pick it in a moment."  She looked around, watching the guy as he tried to get the shock bracelet off, but did find a very old book.  "It's the story of Andromeda."

"What?" Ray asked, finally getting free and coming to join her.  "It is."  He frowned as he looked it over.  "This is a myth."

"It's not," the man insisted.  "The creature comes every so often and we must prepare a sacrifice, or else we will all die!"

"Dude, my mother's a prince of hell and a consort.  I'm sure we can stop a monster once and for all.  There's no way he's getting me or Lotus."

Ray nudged her. "You forgot one."

"The same reason you got Brad, she got Brad," she said dryly.  "Daddy said it was extenuating circumstances so she didn't have to marry him.  So, no, Melissa's not that innocent anymore."   She tugged on his arm. "Come on, let's go, before he finds a way out.  Got a weapon?"

"No, you?"

"Fuck no.  I'm in, I'm guessing, the 'classical costume' of a pretty bra top that's basically pasties over my nipples with a chain between them, and a thin piece of fabric that's not even thick enough for a loin cloth covering each side of my ass.  I don't have anywhere to hide one, unless you think I commonly put weapons up my ass?"

"You did say you were a Highlander fan," he said dryly, heading up the stairs first.

"Hey, I'd love to learn the trick to pulling a sword out of nowhere like Methos and Duncan.  If we can find a con they're at, I'll ask."   She got around him and picked the lock on the door, listening before opening it.  She had to duck someone trying to grab her, but the next one got it in the nuts since she was at the perfect height.  Then she stood up and used her Goemon-given training on these cretins.  "How dare you decide to have my ass raped by a dragon!" she shrieked, attacking another one.  "My daddy said I can't have sex until I'm sixteen or I'm going to be married to some gross, disgusting human!  I'm not breaking it with a non-human, he won't be that understanding!"  She saw one last one with a gun and ducked, coming up on the side so she could get him too, letting Ray grab the gun when it fell.  She sighed as she looked around, pushing back some of her hair.  "I'm tired now.  Wanna get a sundae?"  He looked at her oddly so she smirked.  "What?  I'm a teenager.  If Ishi can eat his weight in food each day, so can I."  She stole the gun and walked out, using it on a few people who were in their way outside.  She saw their rescue party and whistled. "Ishi, get Lotus out of here!  It's Andromeda, not the ship!" she yelled as she ran toward them. "Come on, Uncle Ray!" she yelled when he stayed there.

Ray jogged to catch up to her, not staring at her butt any longer.  She was kinda cute, in a kiddy sort of way.  He pinched himself for that thought, not wanting to have it again.  He got smooshed in the back seat between Lotus and Melissa and whimpered.  "Why me?"

"What is going on?" Melissa demanded.

"They're doing a re-enactment of Andromeda and the serpent.  Apparently we're of the right bloodlines."

"Fuck me," Melissa said in awe.  "Okay.  Ishi, go, before they come out with weapons.  If we scratch the car, mom's gonna be pissed."

He nodded and took off, glancing at Arsene now and then.  "Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

"Fine.  They took my bathing suit."

"We'll get you a better one," Lotus promised.  "It'll be on the way back to the school, sweetie."

"Thanks, Lotus.  Um, Uncle Ray, breathe," she instructed.  "Otherwise we'll have to drop you off somewhere and make you hike home."  He nodded quickly, panting some.

"Is this a panic attack?" Melissa asked.

"No, he's horny, you've got nice tits, they're pressing against him."

The girls both hit him, making him groan and relax.  "Ow."

"Good," Lotus told him.  "We're still teenagers."

"I told you that top was too tight," Ishi said as he shifted up, heading out to the main roads.

"Bite me, Ishi.  It's not too tight."

"Lotus, you're very pretty and smart and all that good stuff," Ray told her calmly, "but when guys see a pretty girl like you, they lose all higher reasoning and turn into cave idiots.  So please, do us all a favor and wear clothes that are just a bit more loose?  Please?"

"Hey, at least it's not Dawn's catsuit collection," Melissa said dryly.

"No, but you would look stunning in them," he told her.  She blushed.  "I know you dress a lot like your old man, but it's not hiding it, Melissa.  You've got a great shape under those pants and t-shirts."  She blushed harder.  "I'm going to be killed for this, but you're all stunning children."

"Arsene, are you feeling like you were drugged?" Ishi asked quietly.

"Noooo, why?" she asked.  "He's just appreciative.  I'm appreciative too.  They've very pretty and Lotus is one of the most snuggly people I know."

Ishi groaned.  "He's not the sort to say such things, Arsene.  Mom would kill him for that."  He pulled out his phone and called the school. "It's Ishi, we found them, they were kidnaped, they're probably fine.  No, Inspector Kowalski was as well.  No, he just told Melissa that she'd look great in Dawn Zenigata's cat suits."  He winced at the choking going on.  "I take it the 'rents are there?  Hi, dad," he said grimly, glancing back at them, then at Arsene.  "No, we'll be fine to come back, but Arsene needs some clothes.  No, they were replaying Andromeda and the serpent."  Lupin choked.  "Really?" he asked dryly.  "Want to explain that again?  Let me pull off to the side of the road."  He pulled off and leaned on the steering wheel.  "What do you mean it's real?"  He listened to Jigen quoting from some book written by someone long ago by the words being used.  "Okay.  And we do what?  Of course I have my sword.  Did you want me to turn this thing into sushi?"  Arsene giggled. "No, she's wearing metallic pasties connected by a chain and some sort of gauze flaps that are thin enough to tell she shaves.  Uncle Ray is presently wearing clothes that may be his.  Or maybe not, they're kinda thin too."

"Tell daddy that they wanted the snake to bugger us," Arsene told him, giggling at the look he gave her.  He handed over the phone. "Hi, daddy.  No, they wanted the snake to have us as fun playtoys.  They said that the snake didn't dine on the victims, only had fun with them.  So I'm supposing it's a buggering snake.  Or dragon, whatever.  Why?  No, I'm fine, daddy, just giggly. It was Uncle Ray who begged Lotus to wear less tight clothes and suggested Melissa get into Auntie Dawn's catsuits."  She giggled again. "Calm Uncle G down, daddy.  He's behaving.  He's just squeezed into the back seat of the Fiat with them.  Sure, I get it.  It's fine.   But we're not supposed to be bringing cops back there, daddy.  Sure, where are we?"

"Greece, on the coast. It'll take about a day, unless we can find some sort of ferry," Ishi said dryly. "And you're not getting out of the car dressed like that!"

"Of course not."  She listened to her father have a word with the Headmistress.  "Where is it from?"  She nodded. "Okay, we can do that.  As long as the dragon thingy won't attack a boat?"  She nodded once and handed the phone back. "Here, directions to the ferry."

"Thanks.  Please take a nap.  You sound like three cheerleaders on crack, Ar."  He listened to the quiet instructions.  "I'm not letting her get out of the car in that outfit.  I'm sorry but I'm not being arrested for pimping her.  Yeah, she does."  Arsene giggled again.  "You ever see the nearly pornographic pictures of Andromeda?  That's her.  Yup, that exact same outfit.  Sure, how far is it from where we are?"  He groaned.  "That's where the lunatics live.  Is there another spot?"  He nodded and started the car.  "Okay, we're heading there.  It'll take probably three hours. Sure, check back often.  No, giggling madly.  Thanks, Uncle Lupin.  I promise, I won't make her ineligible."  He got them heading forward again, taking them to the second dock.  The ferry ran overnight so they'd be there in the morning without having to switch drivers, which would mean they'd have to get out of the car.  "Did we bring any spare clothes for naked girl?"

"Nope," Melissa told him.  "She won't fit into ours. She's got bigger hips."

"I do not!"

"You do, but you've got a flat ass," Lotus said dryly.  "We'll find her a t-shirt or something, Ishi.  We won't let you get arrested for being her pimp."

He groaned but sped up. He wanted off this rescue now.

***

Lupin hung up from calling Vecchio and looked at the group.  "Okay, they're on their way back.  The ferry will land in Italy at about nine in the morning."  The other parents nodded.  "We can deal with that then.  Arsene is nearly naked.  Ray was saying how pretty the other two were.  Vecchio will stay out of this one because he doesn't want to know how to kill a sea serpent.  Arsene said it was a sex offering."  Goemon groaned.  "I'm sure they'll be fine, Goemon.  Lotus isn't of the blood line, and Ishi's already immune if it's looking for virgin sacrifices."  He shuddered.  "Which is a nasty thought, but my daughter is practical so I'm assuming if necessary she'd use someone available to save herself, probably Ray.  At least he'd be gentle with her."  He shuddered again, noticing the other winces.  "Melissa's already safe, Jigen."

"The diary said pure of word, deed, and heart, Lupin.  If they took Kowalski they must have known he was married before."

"He was?" Goemon asked.  "To who?"

"To some tough bitch attorney who dumped him for not being self-sufficient and able to do it all on his own after a few too many undercovers.  A real career over love sort."  Goemon frowned at that.  "So that may not help them."

"No, but my next call is to warn Xander, who can," he pointed out.  "If anyone can kill the big snakey demon, it'll be him.  Right?"

"If it's something like a dragon or a serpent, it may not work on his tattoos," Goemon offered quietly.

"No, but if it comes down to using a sword to kill it and chop it into little bits, I'm sure Xander can at the very least do a lot of chopping."  He pulled out his cell, dialing Xander's from memory.  "Hi, Alan.  Is Xander awake?  No, the kid was kidnaped to reenact Andromeda and the serpent.  Yeah, that kid.  Yup, that's why we need Xander.  Yeah, he is actually a master of the sword."  He smirked.  "Ask him, maybe he'll tell you about all that stuff he hides from us.  We had to find out by figuring out he'd been teaching Ishi to know he was so good."  Goemon groaned, rubbing his face, while the Headmistress giggled.  "He did," he told him, leaning against the edge of the desk.  "Xander, how good's your mythology.  No, Greek.  Andromeda."  He smirked.  "No, not the ship with the guy who used to play Hercules.  Mythology.  Draw your mind away from Alan's cuteness for a moment.  The other kids had to rescue Arsene and Ray from the cult who thinks it's coming back and they needed a sacrifice of the bloodline.  Yeah, the both of them."

He covered the mouthpiece and snickered, shaking his head.  "No, but I don't think Alan needs to go to a ferry between Greece and Italy to protect the kids.  Oh, you *might* want to either bring a camera or some extra clothes.  Arsene's in the less than clothed version of the sacrificial outfit and she's giggling.  Only Ishi and Melissa and Lotus."  He smirked.  "I thought so.  Yeah, that ferry.  Thanks, Xander.  Welcome.  Yeah, you can have a few extra days off."  He laughed as Alan begged to be let free because he was too tired to continue breathing.  "Tell him he wanted you, he can deal with you.  We did."  He hung up and shook his head.  "Apparently he's worn Alan out so much that he's too tired to sleep now."

"How does Xander do that?" the Headmistress asked.

"Practice.  Lots and lots of practice," Jigen told her.

She blushed and nodded.  "Did he teach Ishi that technique?  Because there've been some girls who would gladly wear a fanclub button for him if he'd authorize one and sleep with them as a membership due."  Goemon blushed at that.  "We've even had some of the staff drooling over him, Goemon.  Your son is very handsome, very fit, and very much a stud.  He works out without a shirt on and we had to move one class away from the practice ring so they couldn't stare and watch.  The math teacher wasn't teaching, she was staring too hard.  The hall monitors drool on him too.  They're almost as bad as the girls and boys who look at Lotus and want to take up breastfeeding."  Goemon groaned a bit louder at that.  "I don't know what you fed those four, but they're devastating on the other students.  I'm really glad the days that Lotus doesn't wear a bra to practice.  Most of the guys get tired too quickly and go wank off, then go back to class.  We've got to do something.  Maybe some ugly makeup?"

Jigen snorted.  "Think about how we feel.  Lotus is bigger than her mother ever was."

"Plus more innocent, which is why we nearly got invaded over Xander because of Mark," Lupin reminded them. Jigen shuddered.  "Does it help the days she wears a kimono?"

"No, then they coo over how cute and precious she is, and how they'd like to collect her like some doll."  She smiled at them. "It's honestly very funny, guys, but it's getting to the point where Ishi's starting to look a bit distracted and desperate.  As Miriam, Lotus' roommate, was heard saying, he needs a janitor with a mop to follow along behind him and his entourage of drooling women."

"That would be dishonorable," Goemon stated.

"He's not encouraging them, Goemon.  He just can't get them to stop.  Have you ever seen that picture of the succuba sucking up to a victim?  The one where he looked really desperate and they were clinging to his feet?  They're a lot like that.  He's ready to bolt or hurt someone."

"I'll talk with the boy when he gets back," Lupin promised.  "The girls too if Xander doesn't."  The other fathers nodded to show their support.  "You two are like bobblehead dolls," he said sarcastically.  "Brainless now?"

"It was the picture of Lotus in that white bikini," Jigen admitted.  Goemon hit him, making him wince.  "It was!  Gods, man, if she wasn't my niece and Goddaughter, she wouldn't be safe in the house.  You know Lupin wants to pant after her!"

"Perhaps, but he knows better and knows her true age," Goemon said firmly.

"Plus, you know, virgins aren't my thing anymore," Lupin said dryly, shaking his head as he looked up.  "Why me?"

"It's payback for all those years you chased Fujiko around," Jigen said smugly.  "We tried to tell you she was bad for you."

"Yeah, well now she's gone," Lupin said firmly.

"She is?" Goemon asked.

"Goemon, did you not hear where your son stuffed her?" Lupin asked.

He sighed and shook his head.  "No.  Where?"  Jigen leaned over to whisper in his ear, making him shudder.  "My son was intentionally that cruel?"

"She's the one who handed Xander to Wesley and Angel," Lupin told him. "I'm assuming we could go rescue her once she was sane again."

"How would we know?"

"Well, we could call David and have him release her and put her somewhere," Lupin admitted.

"Where is she?" the Headmistress asked.  "If I can get that personal?"

"He put her in a glass coffin with an airhose under LA Harbor," Lupin told her.  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  After her stunning example of trying to sell Lotus and trying to get Xander killed, then her stunt here, then trying for Xander a few more times, he decided she needed a time-out."  He shrugged but smirked.  "It efficiently got her out of the way and she'd have some of the things she needs to survive."

"Get her out of there," Goemon ordered.  "It is not right. She will slowly starve to death."

"Fine, Goemon.  She's your wife," Lupin agreed, calling the number he had listed for David.  "Hello, is David there?  No, tell him it's Lupin's secretary."  He smirked as he redialed, getting someone different this time.  "Ah, the lovely Fred, I remember your voice, my dear.  Is David there?  Please.  No, it's Lupin.  I need him to go rescue someone."  He smirked harder as Fred yelled for David and someone in the background started to complain about thieves and bad guys being too universal.  "David, I know you know where Fujiko is.  Goemon wants her rescued before she starves to death.  No, go ahead and commit her if you want.  Yeah, that's fine, my man.  Just get her up and leave her somewhere.  Sure," he agreed happily.  "We'll even call Vecchio to have him come help if you want," he offered, looking at Goemon, who frowned but didn't say or do anything else.  "Sure.  You go down and check on her, then drag him.  Thanks, David.  Sure.  What did you need?  The key?  Um, maybe you should call Dawn since that's her?  Yeah, thanks, man."

He hung up and called Vecchio back.  "Hey, it's me.  David's going to be pulling Fujiko out of LA Harbor tonight.  Want her?  No, Goemon's not looking like he wants to rescue her at the moment and we know the kids won't.  No, she's been down there since a few days after Xander had to have his knee replaced.  She should be.  I'm guessing there's some limited food in there with her.  Sure.  Nope, David.  He's at Angel Investigations in LA.  Yeah, him, Ray.  Sure.  Have fun in the land of pretty people."  He hung up and looked at Goemon.  "David's fairly sure she's still alive.  He's went down to taunt her a few times.  He put that picture from the wine tasting over her coffin at one point, which made her scream about her daughter being so cute and hot.  Good enough, Goemon?"

Goemon nodded. "Yes, it is.  Were they charmed somehow?"

"Quite possibly.  It has been a while since she went down there," Jigen offered.  "If you have to, we can sneak you into her room in disguise."

"That won't be that hard," Lupin assured him.  He looked at the wall clock.  "We should do something to take our minds off the kids.  They'll be fine.  They should be getting closer to where the ferry is."

"Well, we did want you to talk on disguises," the headmistress offered, "and some students do need Jigen and Goemon to look over their formal qualifications for graduation."

"Good enough," Goemon agreed.  "How is my daughter?"

"Very good, Goemon.  She's excellent.  The only reason she hasn't been approached by any of the boys and girls who pant after her is because she is so skilled.  She's easily Ishi's level, but in your own family style."  Goemon nodded at that.  "The teacher has many tapes of her working on her skills.  You'll find him in the practice area, as always."  He nodded, and they trailed out to go find their respective areas, Lupin going to the Practical Skills class since that's what disguises really were.  She let out a deep breath.  Those three could easily have destroyed someone or the school for what the kids were going through.

***

Xander landed on the boat, looking around at the quiet deck.  Then he headed for his car.  He knew it was his car, it had Ishi sitting on the hood of it.  He grunted quietly.  "It come yet?"

"No, not yet," he reported, looking at him.  "Did you bring Arsene something?"  Xander shook his head, holding up the camera.  "Go ahead, she's probably still vibrating in her sleep.  She was when I came out here."  He looked back out at the sea.  "I do not know if it will or not, but I have a very bad feeling about this."

"Could that be because your father had his wife rescued and put into a mental hospital?" Xander suggested.

"Quite possibly," he said dryly.  "When?"

"This morning.  He had David go down to get her and handed her to Vecchio."  He hugged him.  "I saw the picture of you in your trunks.  Not too bad, little man.  Do we need a repellant for girls?"

"Please," he groaned, shaking his head as he looked at his lap.  "I can't seem to find one who wants more than a quick bout in bed.  The only girl I thought wanted more only wanted two of them and she didn't want an immediate second round when I tried.  She said I was too tiring."

"It happens to the best of us.  That's why I've got to pay extra for the pros," Xander said wisely, leaning against his arm, looking around the sea.  "Where's your sword?"

"In the car, I nearly lost it once when the boat hit a rough patch so it put it back on my seat."

"Okay. What's that?" he asked, pointing at the water where there was a large wave- looking thing coming toward them.  "Is that a wave?"

"Hell no," Ishi said in awe.  "It's real?"

"Apparently and it wants it's dinner."

"She said it wasn't going to eat them, just play with them."  Ishi tapped on the window to wake up the others.  "It's here!"

Arsene got out and weathered her father taking a few pictures.  "Thanks, get my good side?"

Xander smirked. "Like you have a bad side?" he teased.  He tossed the camera into the car, then grabbed his sword, watching as Ishi grabbed his and Lotus stepped out of the car.  "Lotus, I'm not sure it won't come for you, stay with Arsene this time," he ordered.  "Especially since you're not armed."  He stood up, facing the serpent when its head popped over the railing.  "Hi.  Did you need something?"

"Mine," it hissed.  "Where's mine?"

"Yours is not yours, it's mine."  The serpent glared at him so he smirked.  "What?  Don't believe me?  Ask her yourself."

"Yeah, he's mine," Arsene agreed quickly.  "Sorry, but you can't have me and I didn't agree.  Neither did Uncle Ray."  She crossed her arms, but it only made her chest stand up better, which made the serpent stare at her. "Not working. I'm more than used to horny creatures staring at me."

"You and me both," Lotus said dryly.  The serpent looked at her and opened its mouth again.  "Eww!  Go away!  I'm not breaking myself in on a *creature* like you!  Puhleaze!"   She rolled her eyes.  "That is so gross!"

"Geez, Lotus, surfer girl much?" Xander complained.  He looked at the serpent again.  "I could always kill you."

"Mine," the serpent hissed.

Xander glared and stuck his sword in one nostril, slicing into it.  "Really?  I could have sworn they're all mine, bitch.  You'd better back down, you buggering snake."  It reared up and Xander glared at it. "Yay, you're huge, you've still got no dick and you're still not human.  Why would these humans want you?"

"Mine!" it demanded.

"Enough talk, killing it is easier," Ishi decided, taking a swipe at it.  He cut through some of the scales, making it howl.  It lunged at them so he and Xander attacked it together, making it retreat when it got too injured.  It still wasn't dead but it was bleeding around the neck.  It retreated, sliding back into the sea.  Ishi looked at his sister. "If that thing comes for you again, I want some serious artillery."

"You want?  What about what I want?" she shrieked.  "I am not becoming food for a perverted snake!"

"No, you're not," Xander said calmly, looking at her.  "It shouldn't come back tonight.  Go back to the car and rest," he ordered.  He looked at the captain, who was staring at them.  "It's gone for the night," he called.  "It shouldn't come back."  The captain nodded and went back to the wheelhouse.  "Get dropped off as soon as you can and haul ass back to the school.  Call on the way to see where you're to drop Ray."  They nodded.  "Good kids."  He disappeared, going to clean his blade and change clothes.  The hotel's maid gave him an odd look as he walked back into the foyer so he shrugged. "I was attacked by a big snake.  I won," he said, sounding calm to his own ears.  He went up to clean up and call Ethan.  There had to be something to get rid of the thing for good.  Once he was clean and his sword was burned clean, he sat down with his cell to call Marcus since he was usually there.  "Marc?" he asked patiently when the phone was answered.  It was turned off.  "That's right, he's got class today."  He dialed Ethan's house directly, getting a sleepy sounding grunt. "How do we get rid of Andromeda's serpent?  It wants Arsene and Ray K."  He chuckled at the sleepy complaint.  "It's not demonic, it didn't react to me.  It's a big sea snake and it kinda wanted Lotus too."  He smirked.  "Well... if you do, I might find my way fit to send you some new pictures of the kids.  Oh, really?  Because Lotus is very well built.  So is my baby girl.  She looks a lot like a pinup now.  No, you haven't seen them in years," he said smugly.  "Sure."  He opened his laptop and forwarded that email to Ethan and Marcus.  "Check Marc's email.  Now, how do I kill the serpent?"

***

Lupin looked at his email phone, then hit the buttons to get into the new message.  He whimpered and handed the phone to Jigen, who shook his head and handed it to Goemon.  "My poor baby. I thought Ishi was being over dramatic again."

"No, apparently not," Goemon said, staring at Arsene.  She was better built than one thought.   He handed it back.  "Hopefully she'll be in appropriate attire when she returns."

"Probably not.  Ishi just wants to get back.  I don't think he's stopping to get them anything but drive-thru."

Jigen coughed.  "I heard from Marcus for some reason.  He said the key to killing it was a poisoned sheep."

"Which would be wonderful, but we don't have one of those either," Lupin noted.  "I don't want to stake one of the kids out to draw it either."

"How often does this thing come back?" Goemon asked. "I had this horrible vision earlier about the creature showing up some day while the children were sunbathing on a beach."

"Every eighty years," Lupin told him. "Which explains why it skipped me."

"That's fine then.  We'll have to tell the grandchildren."

The others perked up at that thought.  They didn't have to deal with this.  Xander would be and then their grandkids.  They had missed another emergency of the strange and unusual.

***

Xander put the two girls on the beach with the sheep he had stolen, waiting while the serpent came up to where they were.  It had followed them all day.  Now they were ready for it.  The serpent reared up and snapped the sheep to make it quit screaming in fear, then turned color and spit it out.  Xander smirked at it.  "Yeah, it was poisoned, yeah, it's deadly for you guys, no, you're not getting the girls."  They pulled out weapons and the snake seemed to sigh before heading off.  "And don't go trolling for another one either!" he called as it backed off.

"There's nothing worse than a perverted creature," Ishi said sadly.  "I'm assuming it started out eating women, then decided to play with its food."  He shook his head.  "Back into the car!"  They scrambled in, but kept the knocked out Ray there on the beach.

Xander tucked Ray's ID case into his pocket then stood up with a smirk.  "There, very nice.  Go ahead, I'll call the local cops and make sure he's found."  They nodded, taking off again.  He made sure he had the camera this time so he could send one of those to Ethan and Marcus as well since they had been so helpful.  He flagged down an on-coming car, pointing at Ray.  "That's an Interpol inspector.  He's unconscious, can you call someone?"  She nodded, calling on her cellphone in rapid Italian.  He went back to check on him.  He'd been a bit heavy-handed with the drugs, but that would be fine.  "Remember, do not drool over my kids, Ray, or else I get mad," he whispered as sirens approached.  Xander disappeared, coming back for his sword before disappearing again.

One of the cops glared at the spot where the man had been.  "Who is this?" he demanded.  "And who was the one who was here?"

"The one who called it in said a man with silver hair found him," one of the cops reported.  He pointed at the carcass.  "I'm wondering about that, sir."

The man looked at the sheep, then nodded once.  "There are rumors about what comes out of the sea.  Including what attacked that ferry.  I'm assuming he was protecting them.  Who is he?"

"Inspector Ray Kowalski, Interpol, Special Targets Project, sir.  He works with Zenigata if this is correct."

"Fine, I'll call their office, get him to the hospital.  Do the standard bloodwork."  They nodded, taking the poor man to the people who could help him.  He would ask this Inspector later about the silver haired man, though it could only be one person.  Only one thief had silver hair.  Then again, the ferry captain had said that the up and coming Lupin the Fourth had been on that ferry and dressed as a sacrifice.  He looked out onto the sea.  "Do not come back here again," he warned.  "We will protect our own."   He stomped off, heading to the hospital.  He had to have a talk with this inspector.

***

Arsene got out of the car and groaned as she stretched.  "Finally!"

"Go put on some clothes!" Ishi yelled as he walked off.  "Before you get attacked again."

"Bet me," she said bitterly.  "Why can't I have a nice chest like you two?" she complained to Melissa.

"Feel lucky.  We both need to have ours cut down.  You've got just the right size.  Lotus looks like a blowup doll some days."  Lotus let out a bitter sounding grunt behind them.  "It's Tuesday.  We should head to classes."  Lotus sighed and headed for the practice area.  That's where she should be.  "Go change, Lupin."

"Fine, Melissa."  She headed up toward the dorms, weathering the stares from the people in the halls going to their next classes.  "I was just kidnaped, they didn't bring me any clothes," she said firmly.

"Daughter, I can see the crack of your ass, that is not appropriate," Lupin called from a classroom.  She squealed and ran in to hug him, stunning him.  The pictures didn't do her justice.  "Wow," he said in awe.  "You're definitely too grown up to run around naked.  Please go change?"

"Where's the others?"

"Jigen's on the range.  Goemon's talking with the martial arts teacher about the trials."  He patted her on the shoulder.  "Go change, please?"

"Can't I show them first?"

"Sure," he agreed, nodding.  "I'll even escort you."  He winked at the teacher.  "Be right back.  She's going for shock value."  He walked her off, watching as the other kids stared at her.  "Well, you're certainly going to have your pick of people to let drool on you," he said fondly.

"Yeah," she agreed happily.  She tapped on the range and walked in, hugging her uncle. "I came to get a hug before I changed.  Melissa headed for the gadgets area."

Jigen looked down at her and squeaked.  "Go change," he ground out.

"I'm headed up there after I get my hugs," she reminded him with a grin.  She gave him another one.  "Thank you for teaching everyone so well, Uncle Jigen."  She grinned at the other teacher in there. "I'll be back in a while to work with him."

"Sure, Lupin.  Just put on a real shirt first.  That violates about every single rule of the dress code."

"I didn't dress me like this, the funky cultists who wanted me to be the sextoy of the big sea snake did," she reminded him.  She heard Goemon and jogged out to give him a hug, making him blush very brightly.  "Thank you.  I used a lot of what you taught me to kick the cultist's asses.  You're a very nice Uncle, Uncle G."  She headed up to her room at a light jog, going to change now.  She really was kinda chilly in that outfit.

Goemon calmed himself down again and looked at Lupin.  "She doesn't like that look, correct?"

"No, I think she was cold," Lupin admitted with a smirk.  "Have you seen the others?"

"Not yet, but I was going to watch one of the mastery tests," he admitted.  "Coming?"

"Indeed," Lupin agreed, following him.  He had always wanted to see the kids in action. Jigen could handle his daughter's marksmanship tests. Now if only they could pass their other two classes.  They sat down in the darkened area, far away from where Lotus and Ishi could see or hear them, and watched as the kids went to work.  Ishi was doing a warmup series of katas shirtless so Lupin leaned closer to the father.  "No wonder he gets drooled on," he whispered.

Goemon hit him on the arm.  "Behave."  They both stared in shock as Xander came out and bowed to Ishi, who broke his routine to bow and grab his sword, his real sword. Goemon hissed as his son attacked, and his other student defended.  It was a good test.  Xander and Ishi were evenly matched and Xander was still very strong and good.  Clearly the best of his students.  Xander did nick Ishi a few times, but Ishi got him back for them.  It continued for nearly the whole class, then the teacher called a halt.  "I would pass him," he muttered.

"I'd pass them both," Lupin admitted in awe.  Xander was stunning like that.  The two combatants bowed to each other.

Ishi bowed to his teacher, then to their area since he knew someone was watching.  "Was this my mastery?"

"It was the combat part," his teacher agreed.  "The next one will be coming soon.  You should prepare for the other course."  Ishi nodded and went to prepare himself for the blindfold course while the other students came out to do their own battles, but Xander sat down until Lotus came out.

Goemon groaned, watching as his daughter picked her sword and bowed to him, then attacked without a word.  He was staring at her, she moved just like him.  He was in awe, his daughter was excellent.  Xander tried to get her for real and she ducked, losing a few locks of hair, but she got him back, stopping herself from stabbing him in the stomach.

"Match," the teacher intoned.  "Lotus Goemon."

Xander bowed and grinned.  "Sneaky.  Very well fought, Lotus Goemon.  You took advantage of the opening your brother created."

"Thank you, Lavelle."  She bowed back then bowed to her teacher.  "Am I due on the other course as well?"  He nodded once, so she headed that way, putting her sword away.  The teacher on that course looked at her.  "It's my turn next?"  He nodded.  "Fine."  She accepted the blindfold and climbed up onto the starting platform, putting it on.  The whistle blew so she walked out onto the balance and distraction course, centering herself with her breaths.  She could feel her father was somewhere close by, but she could also feel Melissa and Uncle Jigen around too.  She had one bobble but managed to turn it to her advantage, getting the person attacking her and knocking them off.  She finished the course in silence, then took off her blindfold to look at the attacker. "Is he dead?"

"No, just unconscious," he admitted.  "You pass."

"Thank you, sir."  She came down and bowed to him.  "Do I have a third?"

"I will not force you to do a hunting test," he admitted.  "Your other sensitivities have been noted, Lotus."

"Thank you, sir."  She bowed again, then headed over to hug her Uncle.  "I felt you guys," she told him with a grin. "You might as well come out, dad and Uncle Lupin."  They came out of the shadows.   "I felt you guys, that's why I was so nervous."

"You did excellently," Goemon assured her.  "Much better than I had ever hoped for, daughter.  You do the family name proud.  We will find you a sword worthy of your skill during the holiday."  She beamed at him so he bowed to her, deeper than usual to show his respect for her skills.  She bowed back, then hugged him.  "Daughter, I do love you," he said happily.

"Thanks, daddy.  I don't have to do the hunting test."

"Then I'm doubly pleased."  He patted her on the back, then smiled at his son.  "You also did excellently.  That was a very long fight, longer than most of mine have been in recent years."  His son smirked at him.  "You have one left."

"I've already done it," he admitted. "I did that while Lotus was doing her course.  She gets nervous when we're there."

"He passed with spotless skills," Jigen reported.  "Him, Arsene, and Melissa, plus Wyatt decided to try and he passed with a good enough rating he won't have to retake it."

Lupin smirked.  "I'd say this warranted a celebration, guys."  They cheered.  "Let's see if we can take you off campus for this."  He turned and found the Headmistress watching them from an open window.  "They all passed with distinction.  Lotus actually beat Lavelle in sword combat."

"I saw.  Get them back tonight by curfew, or dawn if there's a problem, Lupin.  Jigen, if you could stay?  We do have a few more who need to do their senior testing."

"If I can't, Xander may be able to."

"I hadn't thought of that.  Thank you, Jigen.  Have a happy celebration, children."  She closed the window.

"Go change, kids."  They ran for their rooms, going to put on their usual clothes.  "I'm in awe," Lupin said happily.  "I had no idea we'd done that good of a job with them.  Goemon, Arsene said she used some of the skills you taught them too."

"She told me.  I can only hope my other sons turn out as good as my daughter did."

"They will, man.  We've got your back with them."  Jigen lit up and headed into the school, going to start the cars.  Lupin gathered the kids, letting his daughter pick which one she wanted.  She chose the roadster this time so they got the Fiat and Xander, who was napping in the back seat.  "You tired, Xan?"

"Yeah, kinda.  Alan kept me up," he said with a goofy grin.  "He starts taping today on a new project so I won't get to see him for a few days."

"They need someone to do mastery tests," Lupin offered as he got in to drive.  "Melissa said she felt like she should be wearing a hat at the moment," he joked.

"She's my kid," Jigen said proudly.  They followed the kids out, letting them pick the restaurant.  They knew the area better at the moment.

***

Vecchio looked into Fujiko's special cell, then back at his boss.  "She's still ranting and raving about her daughter's breasts, sir.  Should we break into that again?"

"Yes," Zenigata said grimly, walking inside to hand her the pictures of her daughter in a bathing suit.  Fujiko let out a wordless scream of rage.  "They're getting her reduction surgery."  He sneered down at her.  "They won't come to save you this time, Fujiko Mine."

"Yes they will!  Lupin will save me!  He had me saved from that torture device!"

"No, Goemon had you saved from there," Ray said as he walked in with the nurse.  "He had Lupin call.  I talked to him right after he talked to David.  Goemon decided your son was too cruel this time.  He's the reason David saved you."

"Goemon had me saved?" she asked weakly, staring at him, then at Zenigata.  "Really?"

"Apparently he still feels something for you," Zenigata sneered.  "That won't matter where you're going.  I'm sure he'll be allowed to visit now and then once we capture him."

Kowalski limped in, handling his crutches like a pro.  "There's new news."  He handed over his phone with the text message still on it.  "They passed their masteries last week."  Vecchio smirked at that.  "Including Lotus doing her martial arts one and stunning her father.  She won against Lavelle in sword combat."

Zenigata looked at him.  "Which crook told you that?"

"Lupin the Fourth.  She called to check on me when she heard I fell.  She also apologized for her 'any port in a storm' rant while we were held together.  She said she didn't mean to be insulting."

"That's one of those situations where no one could have blamed you," Vecchio offered.  "Not even Dawn."  He looked at the message.  "Top honors?"

"Top honors," he agreed happily.  "Ishi just barely topped Lotus.  She had a bobble on the balance course according to Arsene.  One half-point higher. So as long as they pass their two remaining classes, they're free of the Academy as of this spring.  They're doing their first formal job this August or September so they have the summer off.  They said we needed the tan."

"But they're not old enough yet," Fujiko said, sounding confused.

"They'll all be sixteen by then," Ray said with a shrug.   "They've been doing stuff since they were eight, Fujiko."

"Melissa went to solve the blood debt on her father's head," Vecchio told her.  "She solved it like her old man woulda."

Fujiko shook her head.  "No, Melissa doesn't like guns."

"She came in tied with Lupin and Ishi for top in marksmanship," Vecchio told her.

"My son's a samurai."

"Your son's a samurai with a gun too," Zenigata corrected, rubbing his last scar from the kid.  "He's too damn good already."

"We need to figure out what to do about that group," Kowalski said.  "I don't wanna die from chasing the kids.  The commissioner is already scared of them.  Lupin sent him an announcement about their mastery attainments."

They all shuddered.  It was a bad omen if Lupin was bragging already.

"But they're just kids," Fujiko said sadly.

"They'll be fine," Vecchio reminded her.  "They're very well trained kids and another generation to go."

"Two Goemons and Fred," Ray agreed.  "Sarah's still being looked at for the kitsune if they and Xander ever make up.  Alex is still a white knight in training."

"Fine, then three left," Vecchio agreed.  "One's barely three?"  Ray nodded.  "So we've got time before we see Fred?"

"Fred's eight now and he's already pulled his first plans and hired his first hookers," Ray warned.  "He still needs validation from his sister and daddy though.  He told me that he was going to have his sister check his plan when I caught him heading to the school to deliver her guns."  He looked at his boss.  "I didn't get a chance to tell you.  They gave Arsene the two forty-eights they had, sir."

"Fuck me," he said in awe.

"Fred was given a third one at the airport, that's when I caught him," Ray finished.  Zenigata's mouth fell open.  "Plus, Xander was up and wandering around without pain the last time I saw him.  Looked like his old self, back when we first met."

"Hell," Zenigata said, starting to scowl.  "That's not a good sign either.  Okay, men, let's up the security on this room in case we get anyone coming in to free her.  If Goemon still cares for her, Lavelle will try for her to help his friend."  They turned and found the bed empty.  "Crap, crap crap!  What happened!"

"I don't know," Vecchio admitted.

"We're blocking the door," Ray said dryly.  "She didn't sneak past us."

They all looked up at the open ceiling tile.  Then they went running to sound the alert and searching the building, even though it was a fruitless one this time.

***

Lupin the Fourth looked at her rescue, then at Lotus.  "You're sure about this?"

"I'd rather see her rot in hell but Father said he wanted to see her one last time before she went to prison."

"Fine."  She started the car and drove them off, heading to the hotel room Goemon was in.  They walked her up there, handing her over then going for a milkshake.

"Fujiko," Goemon said, looking her over.  "I have chastised the son.  He was not to torture you that way.  I did not want him warped that way."

She burst out in tears and hugged him.  "I'm so sorry, Goemon.  I'm a dumb bitch and I'm sorry."

He slowly moved his arms to hold her.  "I know.  That is why you are here."  He patted her gently.  "Sit, we will talk once you're calm.  Would you like some tea?"

"No thanks."  She sat down, staring at him.  "You look good."

"Janus had a small fight with Xander and he deaged us by a few extra years," he admitted.  "It helped Xander's knees again."  He stared in her eyes, seeing the remorse.  "We will talk," he decided.  Maybe they could work it out.  Then he would tell Lupin what was going on.

Hazy Shades.

Xander sighed as he picked up the phone, calling his might-as-well-be-son.  "Son, sit," he said quietly.  "You know how I hacked into Interpol?  Yeah, through Uncle Ray's email.  I did it again just now.  Your mother's missing.  They think Lupin and Jigen, the younger set, stole her."

***

Ishi looked at the wall across from him.  "Are we sure it was them?  Sister and Lupin are gone right now."  He nodded once, listening to the wise advice.  "Thank you, mom.  I'll talk to you later.  Listen for a dead body hitting the ground outside."  He hung up and looked at the teacher.  "I need to find a reasonable person to speak to. I'll be right back."  She nodded, watching as he walked out, wincing as he slammed the door.  Ishi headed up to the Headmistress' office, gently knocking before walking inside.  "Apparently my sister and Lupin were blackmailed?" he asked.  She stared at him. "I know what they went to do."

"They were blackmailed, your father made them, Ishi," she said gently.  "He didn't want you told until he had talked to her.  The plan was to put her back once they had that talk."

"I doubt it," he said bitterly.  "My father is not exactly worldly about his women.  Call Uncle Lupin for me please?"  She nodded, dialing the number.  "Uncle?" he asked when he heard the grunt.  "Why did my father have my mother stolen from Interpol?"  Jigen choked and grumbled, but a moment later Lupin came on.  "The same question if you wouldn't mind, Uncle," he said, his voice cool and calm sounding, even though he was seething.

"Ishi, he only wanted to speak to her, nothing further."

"Then you might want to check the transmitter, Lupin," Jigen said from the other end.  "The Fiat is heading back this way already."

"What!"

"Exactly, Uncle Lupin.  Father blackmailed my sister to get her free.  My father, who took her in knowing what she had done to you for ages and what she had done to the rest of us as well, had her stolen from ICPO headquarters by my sister and Lupin."

"Let me call them and I'll get back with you, Ishi," Lupin promised.  "He's not that dumb."

"No, but he's got a slight romantic streak, Uncle.  Otherwise he wouldn't have married her."

"Who told you, kid?"

"Mother."

"Fine.  Where is she?"

"Wrong mother."

"Oh, that one," Jigen said flatly.

"Where is he?" Lupin asked.

"Fuck if I know, he tapped into Uncle Ray's email again.  I'll await word on whether or not I get the honor of killing her this time."

"No, let your father figure it out, Ishi.  You don't have to talk to her," the Headmistress reminded him.  "You won't be going home for another two months.  That's plenty of time for them to straighten that out."

"If he's right, then Goemon's back in love with her," Lupin sighed.  "We'll figure it out and tell you guys, Ishi.  Just stay calm."

"If she's at the house, I'm not coming back.  I'll go to Japan, I'll go to Mom's.  I'm not going to stay in the same house as her.  I will lose my temper and I will kill her," he noted calmly.

"Of course, kid.  Just try to keep calm," Jigen ordered quietly.  "Don't tell anyone else yet.  Melissa will throw a massive fit."

"I feel I should, that way no one else can," he offered.

"Then do it in private, Ishi," Lupin ordered.

"Yes, sir.  Thank you, sir."  He shook his head and turned to slam his fist into a wall, cracking the wall.  "I'm going to do something to calm down.  May I head out to swim, Headmistress?"

"Go only to the pond and bring Melissa with you, Ishi.  I don't want you alone right now," she told him.  He nodded and went to gather his sister in spirit, taking her out there even though she looked confused.  "Lupin, what do you want to do if they show up here?" she asked.

"Was that the wall?" Jigen asked.

"He cracked the wall next to the doorframe, Jigen.  He's pissed beyond belief.  He's got that scary calm look that Lupin used to have when he wanted to kill someone."

"I'll call Xander, get him onto his case," Lupin promised.  "For right now, don't force it.  Unless she shows up with Goemon she's not to see the kids at all.  If they do, leave it up to the kids.  Let them walk away or we may end up losing Goemon."  The other side clicked and went to a dialtone.

She hung her head, saying a silent prayer for those children.  They didn't need this.

***

Ishi looked at Melissa as they got to the pond.  "You know that my mother was brought up, correct?" he asked as he stripped off.

"Ishi, not to be rude or anything, but I don't want to see you naked."

"Father had her stolen from Interpol by Lupin and my sister."

"Excuse me?  Our Lupin?"  He nodded, getting down to his briefs before diving in.  "Oh, shit," she said, shaking her head.  She looked up.  "Why me!"

"You're here to keep me from killing myself in my anger."

"Sure.  Been there, done that," she agreed, sitting down to watch him.  "Are you okay?"

"No, but I'm wondering what he blackmailed her with.  Mother called me."

"That's what the phone call was then," she said wisely.  She found his phone and dialed it, getting her mother.  "Mom?  What's going on?  No, Ishi's so mad he's steaming in the water.  Yeah, he's swimming."  She winced at the beep.  "I think that's Daddy Lupin.  Want me to hang up?"  She smiled as he blipped over to talk to them, then came back.  "Are they okay?"

"No, they're shocked," Ishi told her.  He dove down then took off to do laps to wear himself out.  Otherwise he would hurt someone without realizing it.  He turned and went in the other direction.  "People," he called between strokes.

Melissa looked back over her shoulder, then back at Ishi, shrugging.  They could handle anything they needed to.  Someone lurking in the woods wasn't that big a problem. "Sure, Mom, I'm still here.  What's going on?"  She listened to the whole tale, this time from both sources since her mother had conferenced in the other two.  "What did he blackmail her with?  I know Lupin wouldn't and Lotus still wants to eviscerate her."  She heard a twig snap and glared back at the woods.  "It's a private conference between us and our parents, moron.  Go back to the school.  We've got permission."  She listened some more.  "He's in the pond, I'm on the bank.  We've got a lurker.  Should I start in code?"  She smirked. "Fine, Daddy.  Thank you.  Now, what's going on?  Ishi's ready to kill."  She listened to the whole tale, as told by Xander, then hummed and put a hand on her forehead.  "Okay.  We need to talk to Lupin and Goemon, the elder one.  I'm surprised Lotus didn't poison her already.  Yeah, that's fine.  Conference us in to that talk.  Thanks, daddy."  She hung up.  "There's not much you probably don't already know.  Uncle Goemon called after they hung up with you and asked for a week off."  Ishi growled and dove off to do more laps.  "Slow down, Ishi, or you'll get too tired to walk back so I'd have to carry you and I'm cramping."

"Sorry," he called.  He flipped over and dove down, then came out of the water and stomped toward where someone was listening to them.  It turned out to be the student who hated Arsene most, DeMarllion.  He had gotten captured during his field exercises because he was an arrogant prick.  He hated her for having him saved.  "What do *you* want?" he demanded.

"What's wrong?  Not out here to get some?  Pity, she's a pretty bitch if you put a bag over her head."

Ishi grabbed him by the throat and pulled him closer, growling in his face.  "I'd leave, DeMarllion.  I'm not in the mood for you.  I will kill you today.  We're out here to keep my temper in check before I rip someone to pieces."  The other boy sneered so Ishi used his free hand to hit him in the jaw, cracking it.

"No, Ishi," Melissa ordered coolly.  "Don't kill him.  He's not a punching bag.  He doesn't deserve your anger."  She got between them, backing Ishi down.  "Don't.  He's not worth being expelled."  The other boy sneered so she roundhouse kicked him in the other side of the jaw.  "Shut up, you arrogant prick.  No one asked your opinion on his family or his anger."  She looked at Ishi.  "I'll be right back.  Wait for me before going back in."  He nodded, going to sit on the bank where she had been.  She grabbed the stupid boy's arms, dragging him back to the practice area, stunning the teacher.  "He was eavesdropping and Ishi's in a high temper moment.  We're out by the pond with permission.  He got one side and I got the other when he tried to taunt Ishi into killing him."  She dropped him and walked off.

"Did you shoot him?"

"No, Ishi hit him and I kicked him.  Uncle Goemon taught us all," she said, bowing to him before leaving.  She wasn't going to get into it with the teacher, Ishi needed her more.  She came back and shooed off the girl trying to coo him into better humor, which was making him grimace at her.  "Did you want her?"

"No.  Thank you for saving me, Melissa."  He hugged her, then shook his head and dove back in.

She sat there, watching him wear himself out so he wouldn't be able to hurt anyone else tonight.  She'd get him up to his room and tucked in before dinner.  He couldn't go much longer.

***

Lupin walked in with Lotus and held up a hand at the angry staring people.  "Before you say it, Uncle G blackmailed her with having to stay that big.  He was going to withhold her reduction surgery.  I thought it better I do it than he come to you guys for this one," she told the other students.  "Leave Lotus alone."

"Fine," Ishi agreed, staring her down.  "What the hell is going on?"

"We came to take her back and they were hugging, she was crying about how sorry she was," Lotus said with a small sneer.  "Father knows how I feel.  I called him on the way back and told him I wasn't coming home as long as she was there.  He didn't like it but he said he understood."

"Good, the Uncles told him I'm not either."  He walked over to her.  "Are you all right?  Did she try anything?" he asked quietly.  She shook her head. "Is she still whole?"

"For now.  That may change," she promised, staring into his eyes. She could see his rage and knew the source, the same as he could see hers.  "I'm leaving it up to the adults for now."

"What's the matter?" a boy called.  "Did the mommy try something on you?"

Melissa calmly pulled her gun and shot his plate, making him shriek and run away crying.  "Shut up, you little pissant."  She looked at Lupin.  "Are you okay?" she asked calmly, putting her gun back.

"I'm fine.  I stole someone from Interpol Headquarters in broad daylight, during a shift change, with three Inspectors in the room," she noted, shrugging a bit.  "We can always put her back."

Melissa nodded.  "That's fine.  The fathers are in agreement.  We do not have to socialize or be in the same house as her.  They called earlier.  Your father wants to talk to you."

"I can't let Lotus suffer, Melissa, you know that."

"I do, and so does he.  Daddy figured it was something like that.  Even if he gets into a funny mindset, she'll still get it."  Lotus looked at them.  "Daddy Lupin promised, Lotus.  And so did Mom."  She relaxed.  "We don't have to go home for the holidays if we don't want to."

"I need to go to Japan around then," she offered.

"Then we'll escort you," Lupin agreed.  "We can easily bring the kids.  Sarah could use the training anyway and Bix could probably use the vacation."

"Fine," she agreed.  "Let's eat, Ishi."

"Of course.  If you can stomach food after being in the same car with her."

"She was crying about how sorry she was."

"She did that to Daddy Lupin a few times too, I'm sure," he said coolly.  "She's not the one I recognize as my mother.  To me, my real mother is dead."

"I agree," Lotus decided.  "Any woman who would try to harm her infant child is not worthy of the title."

"Then we're agreed, she's a Fujiko-shade," Lupin agreed calmly.   They nodded. "Melissa?"

"I'm ignoring the bitch.  If she wants my attention, she can ask someone else to talk to me on her behalf.  If we're in the middle of a job and she needs saved, one of the adults had better do it."

"Fine," Ishi agreed.  "I can concur."

"Me as well," Lotus agreed quietly, looking at her hands.

"Hey, shunning worked for centuries," Arsene agreed, putting her hand out.  They all shook on it.

"How sweet," DeMarllion hissed.  "Little sissies all in agreement."

"Lotus, don't!" Melissa said as Lotus got up, but she had already attacked, beating the boy into the floor.  "No!"  She pulled her off, letting Arsene and Ishi help hold her.  "You can't attack him, we already had to deal with him earlier for trying this.  You don't want expelled, do you?"  She shook her head but her face was set and she had that thousand- yard stare of ice that her father had sometimes.  "You can't kill him, Lotus.  Even though he's an annoyance and a bunion on the butt of crime.  You can't take him out yet.  Wait until he gets in the way on a job," she hissed.  Lotus nodded once, then stomped off to clean up.

Lupin looked down at the stupid person.  "Are you terminally insane or is this just momentary stupidity?  Did you *not* hear how Lotus is very deadly and not to take her on when she's having a bad day?"  He gurgled something.  "Um, I think he's got broken things.  He's gurgling air."  The teachers rushed to pick him up and take him away.  She shook her head quickly.  "Wow, Lotus was really fast," she said as she sat down to eat again.  "I had no idea she could move like her father."

"She's a lot like daddy," Ishi offered calmly.  "And it's better her than me in this case."

"Oh, we know," Arsene agreed.  "We saw the dent in the wall, Ishi, and heard how it got there.  Are you calmer?"  He shrugged.  "Fine.  If you need us to, I'll go find a lot of protection and spar with you.  If Mom doesn't suddenly show up."

Ishi bowed his head, then nodded.  "Thank you, Arsene.  I don't think I can keep myself from harming others yet however.  Perhaps tomorrow."

"Sure, Ishi.  Want to go upstairs?  I'll call if Lotus gets called in to talk with the 'rents."

"Thank you."  He got up and went upstairs to try to meditate on the roof of the dorm.  Not that he'd succeed for a very long time.  He could not get rid of that anger.  His sister joined him, sitting against his back and doing the same.  "In trouble?"

"Yup, sure am.  They called Daddy directly.  He grunted in displeasure but said it was understandable when my buttons were being pushed.  Mom butted in and was told to stay out of it by the Headmistress.  I'm suspended to the school for the next month."

"That's fine.  We'll pick you up chocolate and things."

"Thanks.  Dad's on his way up with her."

"Fuck him.  I don't recognize her as an intelligent species."

"Thanks, Ishi."

"You're welcome, Lotus.  We'll protect Kenji and Yu as well."  She nodded, he could feel it.  "For now, let us try to get rid of some of this anger before it gets worse."  The roof door slammed open and both of them glared at the teacher.  "We're meditating together."

"She's not supposed to be up here."

"She's still angry enough to hurt people, we're calming each other down," Ishi retorted.

"Still, it's not right," the range teacher noted calmly.  "She can't be up here, Ishi, it'll get you both in trouble."

"Listen, he's the only one who understands what it's like to watch your mother turn into a money-grubbing whore, treat me like the nanny when we had one she refused near her children, and then belittle me for doing so.  Not to mention treating me like a whore in training.  If you don't like it, kick my ass out," she said firmly.  "I'll simply go kill her directly.  Father won't be stopping me."  He shuddered, backing away from them.  "The only people who understand are those who watched as my mother ignored our brother Kenji for nearly two whole days without feeding him, changing him, or anything else.  I don't care if she's God reincarnated.  My anger is greater than my brother's.  He only had to watch it happen.  Now, please leave so my brother can get me calmed down again.  I promise I won't go after any of the boys.  They have nothing to fear from me as long as they don't attack us like the idiot earlier."

He nodded.  "I understand how you need him, Lotus.  The problem is where you are.  If you were doing this in the practice area or any other part of the school except overtop of the girls' dorms, you'd be fine and we'd gladly leave you alone.  Unfortunately you're in a place where you can get in more trouble and we don't want to lose you to expulsion when you're very close at the moment.  The boy's father is on his way up to try for you himself.  Now, please, find another place where you two can do this together that won't get you in trouble.   I promise you, if Fujiko walks through the doorway, I'll stop her myself before she tries anything on either of you.  I'm on your senior boards.  You know that I'll do that.  Jigen didn't have to ask, but he did."  They nodded.  "Now, go find somewhere less damaging."  They nodded and got up, walking past him.  He kept himself from shaking.  That girl had some anger in her and it was easy to see how she had nearly killed that boy earlier.  He was just glad she didn't do it to him.  He went back down to his room to call Jigen and warn him so he could warn Goemon.

***

Lotus looked as an adult male was let into the room, standing up.  "You wished to see me?" she asked quietly.

"You attacked my son."

"After your son made some disgusting insinuations and had bothered us already once that day."  He looked stunned.  "Feel lucky he lived, sir.  I am an assassin candidate.  I am very well trained and I have passed my mastery.  That does not keep my temper from coming out now and then.  Your son brought it on himself.  I'm sorry I nearly killed him but he basically got what he deserved."

"And what about you, missy?  If I attacked you for saying he's that bad, wouldn't you deserve it?"

"If you do attack me, I can easily hold you off," she noted calmly.  "He did not try to stop me.  He knew his actions were incorrect."  His father yelled and lunged so she kicked his ass, then sat down again, staring down at him.  "Do you feel better?" she asked quietly.  "Now you know why your son will never come near me again, nor Lupin the Fourth.  It was stupidity on his part and brashness on yours.  Fortunately, you're not as badly hurt."  The Headmistress came in and paused.  "He attacked me."

"I saw.  I also heard, Lotus."

"It's not bragging, Headmistress.  We both know it to be true, including him.  I did leave him uninjured enough to get up if he would care to."

"I'll turn you in to Zenigata," he sneered as he carefully stood up.

"I doubt it.  He already knows I could care less if he lives or not," she said coolly, getting comfortable.  "When is my father due in?"

"He's downstairs.  Your mother is in town."  Lotus nodded at that.  "Do you need an ice pack, Mr. DeMarllion?"

"No, but I want her expelled!  She attacked me!"

"You acted first," the Headmistress noted.  "We have tape to prove it.  Which her father will be seeing."

"Fine, then I want to watch as he beats her."

"Why would he?" Lotus asked. "I protected myself from a much larger and heavier opponent.  He may scowl, as is his right as my father, but he will not beat me for protecting myself."  Her father walked in an indeed he was scowling already.  "He attacked me, I defended myself."

"I see."  He looked at the other father.  "Is his son the one who bothered you the other night and you nearly killed?"  She nodded.  "Then why did he attack you?"

"I told him the truth, his son started it and I ended the problem his son was creating.  I'm sorry that I nearly killed him but he did not defend himself and he did deserve to get his ass kicked."

"We will be speaking on your temper, daughter, at length," he advised.  She shrugged.  "Now then, what is going on?" he asked the headmistress.

"Basically, you've about heard both sides, Goemon.  Mr. DeMarllion's son did indeed start it earlier by trying to catch Ishi while Melissa was getting him calmed down.  Ishi hit him once, the boy got back up and tried his tactics on Melissa, who broke the other side of his jaw.  Fortunately we got him treated well enough, and then he came back and started on the group once Lupin and your daughter came back.  He insinuated that Fujiko was doing...inappropriate things with her when they were speaking, she lost her temper, by her own admission, and beat him severely for it."  Goemon gave his daughter a look, and she nodded.  "Then today, Mr. DeMarllion came in here and taunted her a bit, where she taunted back.  He attacked her after she warned him that she could harm him, and she was polite enough to leave him living, mobile, and mostly unharmed."

"I see," Goemon said calmly.  He looked at the other father.  "Is this true about your son?"

"No!  My son is an innocent little boy!" he spat.

"His son was one of the ones Lupin had to save on the field exercises, father.  He's the one that got them all arrested."  Her father nodded.  "He hates us.  It's very clear he hates us.  His first day back and he tries to sneak peeks at Lupin.  She kicked his butt then.  He tried to insinuate things with Melissa, and she about shot him on the range one day.  He tried with Ishi when he wasn't calm and his temper was high, and Melissa pulled him off before he tried a second time within moments.  Then later that night, he tried me and I wasn't in as good of a mood as brother was.  I attacked and I was pulled off when I realized what I had done.  I'm sorry I nearly killed him, but at least I didn't.  His son could be bred to get a next generation and taught better."

Goemon coughed.  "That was unkind, daughter.  Shut up, now."

"Yes, father.  Sorry."  She looked at the Headmistress and grimaced.  "Is he really needed?  He should probably get that bleeding gum stopped."

"Here, have a tissue," the Headmistress offered, holding out the box.  He snatched it and sat down far from Lotus to clean himself up.  "Thank you.  Lotus, are you calmer now?"

"I only defended myself this time," she repeated dryly.  "I could have really hurt him if I had been angrier."

"Daughter, when did you grow a temper?"

"When you blackmailed me into taking that bitch out of police custody," she noted sarcastically.  "How about you, father?"

He glared at her.  "This is not the forum for that discussion."

"That's fine, let's solve the matter of needing one.  We're not acknowledging that she exists.  End of subject.  No need for a forum."  She looked at the Headmistress again.  "Did it bother people that Ishi and I were meditating outside again last night?"

"No," she admitted quietly.  "We figured it was necessary.  We simply did not want you on top of the boy's dorm with him.  We do have teenagers and they would be wanting to try to touch you and things, which could get them attacked as well.  It was for your safety as well as theirs."

"I understood the reason, but they would have been safe," she noted calmly.  "Is the practice area agreeable?"

"Yes, the teacher said that you may use it anytime you want.  You have both passed your masteries and only have the harder levels ahead of you.  You both have earned the right to use the course whenever you feel the need to."

"Thank you," Goemon said quietly, then looked at his daughter.  "We will be speaking, daughter."

"No, father, we won't be.  Not on that subject.  My anger has a reason and a cause.  My anger is reasonable for that cause.  My anger is going to continue to seethe while she's unpunished."

"She has been punished."

"Not enough," Lotus assured him, standing up.  "Father, I do not want to discuss family business in front of outsiders.  So I will end this here and now.  I will not speak to her.  I will not be in her presence.  I will not acknowledge her existence.  It is keeping my temper in check.  It will also help when we take the younger sons away and protect them this time.  Just so that they don't end up with the same anger issues.   You can ask your first born son the same questions and he will answer the same way.  We may love you, but we're going to punish her ourselves if no one else does."

"She was already tortured."

"Yay.  Whine.  That about puts us even, father.  Now, let's talk about all the other things she did once we're alone."  Goemon paled.  "Now you see why.  This holiday, I'm going to Japan to be presented to the Order.  Ishi said he'd accompany me if you did not wish to.  I leave that up to you.  I will gladly associate with the family, but one."  She nodded at the Headmistress.  "May I get a drink?"

"Go, Lotus."  She bowed before leaving.  "Goemon, this is disturbing to her.  Her anger is only getting worse.  His son was responsible for her letting it out the other night during dinner.  Now, we need to work on it before it gets worse than before.  Preferably before his son gets more stupid and tries again."

Goemon nodded.  "I agree, but this is not something he can help with.  Lotus has apologized?"

"Twice now."

"Not enough," the other father complained.  "She nearly killed my only son."

"Then your son should learn how to guard his mouth better," Goemon noted coolly.  "Did you have another problem with my daughter?"   The other father sneered.  "Remember, your son's reputation will hinge on such attitudes," he warned smoothly.  "My daughter is a better thief and assassin than your son, without being like her mother."  He got up and stomped off.  Goemon took a deep breath.  "It must be something in the family that sets us all off.  I wished to finish what my daughter started."

"You and Lupin both," the Headmistress admitted.  "What are we going to do about this, Goemon?  Ishi's taken himself out of practice before he harmed someone.  Lotus won't go because she *knows* she'll hurt someone.  Your children are in pain but at least they know not to inflict it on others.  We need to work out a way to get them over this pain."

"Won't happen," Lupin said from the doorway, walking in and petting Goemon on the head.  "Sorry, needed to see the daughter.  Goemon, where's she?"

"Your daughter?  Perhaps she is on the range?"

"Not the she I meant, Goemon.  Arsene's not in her room, not in the school, and neither is Melissa."  They shared a look and Goemon groaned.  "Is she at the inn?"  He nodded.  "Thanks.  I'll bring the girls back."

"When you do, we need to discuss this, Lupin.  The kids will hurt someone for real the next time."  He nodded, heading back out at a run.  "Take Lotus with you," she yelled.

"Gotcha."

She looked at Goemon again. "This way you don't feel like beating her to death for it," she said, sounding very practical.

"I did not wish to beat her, I have control of my temper," he admitted bitterly.  "Why can they not see that she's changed?"

"Goemon, think about what she did to them.  If what Lotus said on the roof to the range teacher was true, she will never like her mother.  Did her mother try to turn her into a whore?"

"Fujiko tried to get Lotus to be like her," he admitted.  "She is pretty and Fujiko only works in two manners.  Lotus would not."

"Agreeable.  Lotus is pretty but she'll never be the maneater that Fujiko is.  Or was.  She'll never be the distraction.  She'll never be the loose one with the boys.  She'll never be the one in the short skirt and heels unless it's *absolutely* necessary.  It gives her nightmares.  She had a few good ones after that single day in the distraction class.  She knows that people aren't going to look past her breasts to see her or her skills.  Now, what about where Fujiko tried to sell her?  Or to harm her from a distance, which we intercepted?"   He frowned at that.  "She tried to set her up an interview with the head Courtesan in Europe, Goemon.  We intercepted the invitation.  We knew who had set it up because I called her to talk to her on Lotus' behalf.  No, I never told her, I brought it to Melissa.  She's the calm one of the group about such things.  She was also needing a nap because she had spent all night helping Lotus calm down after her nightmares.  That was after the wine tasting."  Goemon nodded.  "Now, your kids are in pain.  I want to help you with them.  Ishi and Lotus are some of our best students.  We adore them.  Ishi is doing very well handling his temper, but as she noted he only had to watch their mother pick on her and try to harm her and others.  We need to figure out what to do."

"Would screaming at others help?" Ishi asked as he walked in.  "Where is Lotus?"

"Lupin came to talk to his daughter, who was off campus, so he took her with my permission," the Headmistress told him.  "Why?"  Ishi held up a box.  "What's that?"  He handed it over.  "Goemon, did you know that your wife was sending her things?"

"No."  He took the package and opened it, then shook his head, handing it back to his son.  "Do not give that to her, let Melissa have it.  It won't fit Lotus anyway."

"Yes, father."  He looked at the outfit, then shook his head. "That is fairly tasteless."  He tucked it in his pocket, then looked at the headmistress.  "With your permission, I'm going to meditate in the woods, ma'am."

"Agreeable, Ishi.  Thank you for taking yourself out of the way of possible harm."  He nodded and left, after giving his father a short hug.  She looked at Goemon.  "Now do you see, Goemon?"

"I did before," he admitted.  "I will talk with the children tonight."  He heard Arsene complaining as she was drug up the stairs, looking back at her.  "Stop it," he ordered.  "You are older than your brother."   He got up and said something in the older Lupin's ear, making him groan.  "Ishi is in the woods."

"Which is a very good place for him at the moment," Lotus agreed as she walked in with Melissa.  "What's happened now?"

Everyone looked at Goemon, who shook his head.  "You got a present in questionable taste," he admitted.

"From?"

"Your mother."

"I doubt Xander would send me something like that."

"Your birth mother," Goemon corrected.

"She's dead to me, father.  How do shades send tacky presents?"  He stared her down so he shrugged.  "We have agreed, she is dead to us all."  She walked away.

"She is, Uncle G," Lupin the Fourth agreed.  "I refuse to see my best friends hurt that way.  She's hurting Ishi and Lotus is in so much pain the other empath in school looks at her and bursts out crying.  We've made our decision.  We will not see her, talk to her, acknowledge her, save her, or anything.  This holiday, if she's at the main house, we'll be going to Japan with Bix and the kids for Lotus' presentation.  You are all more than welcome to come with us, but her."

Lupin looked down at his daughter, the one he considered his near-clone.  "Ar," he started.

"No, father.  We've made our decision.  Even if she turns into Mary fricken Sunshine, we're not accepting that she's more than a shade."

"She hurt Lotus so badly that Lotus doesn't like to be dressed up and is nearly phobic about parenthood, Uncle Lupin," Melissa reminded him.  "She nearly killed Kenji.  She was starting in on myself and Lupin as well.  We only got the edges of what Lotus was getting and it was too much at that time.  We've made our decision.  That, of course, was when DeMarllion jumped in with another bout of trying to prove himself and nearly died.  I'm sure she's sorry about nearly killing him."

Goemon nodded.  "So she said.  She is not a shade."

"To us she is," Lupin the Fourth told him.

"She was playing with Fred earlier," Lupin offered.

"Fred is old enough to think and get around her, father.  Yu still isn't.  Neither is Kenji really."

Melissa looked around. "Please tell me you left my father with the kids?"

"Fujiko's in town," Lupin reminded her.  "Fred's back in Germany."

"Has anyone told Bix?" Lupin asked.  The elder Lupin nodded.  "What was her reaction?"

"That she'd stay up there for a bit longer, even though the kids wanted to come home," Goemon admitted.   "She has changed, can you not give her one last chance?"

"Not to quote or anything, but no, she's used too many turns already," Melissa told him.  Lupin winced at that.

"If Lotus and Ishi feel the need to, then we will support them, but we will not be happy about it, Uncle Goemon," Lupin the Fourth said seriously.  "Then again, if she hurts Lotus or Ishi again, she's ours to handle."

"No," Lupin said.

"Tough, father.  She's not hurting your generation, she's hurting ours."

"Yeah, and you're still our kids.  That's a parent's job."  They stared each other down but he could see he wasn't going to win this one.

"Father, you couldn't harm her because of your prior affection for her," she said gently.   "We're trying to spare you greater pain from this.  She's ours if she hurts Lotus or Ishi again."

Goemon shook his head. "It is my duty to my family.  You may help if I need it," he admitted when they stared him down.  "I will not allow them to be harmed."

"Then you allowed her to send Lotus a trashy outfit?" Melissa asked.  "Your daughter is nearly phobic of short skirts thanks to her mother.  Every once in a while she will dress up and then she'll have nightmares all night.  I should know, I sat up with her the last time."

"You could have called."

"You were dead to the world," Melissa reminded her.  She stared her uncle down.  "She's already hurting Lotus, Uncle.  Otherwise she wouldn't be in the woods with Ishi."  She looked up at Lupin.  "If you want to help us cushion them, we'd more than welcome it, Uncle Lupin.  As is, it's a good thing I don't have classes tomorrow.  She's going to be up all night with nightmares as she was most of last night too."

"At least Miriam is a natural counselor," Arsene offered.   Melissa nodded at that.  "We really should get her into that field instead of assassinations."

"I'll suggest it to her, girls," the Headmistress agreed.  "For now, let's figure out how to help Lotus and Ishi calm down."  Everyone nodded and sat down, looking at her.  "What will help this?"

"Ishi will start to calm down today," Melissa offered.  "He's already showing signs of controlling his temper again.  Ishi can control his internally, Lotus needs to let hers out."

"I will help my daughter," Goemon assured them.

"Good, but what about next time, Uncle Goemon?" Lupin asked.  "She's pissed enough to kill you at the moment."

"It'd hopefully be an accident?" the older Lupin asked.

"We'd hope so too," Melissa agreed.  "How is Mom getting rid of hers?"

"Alan can't walk and got him calmed down," Lupin said tiredly.  "He's to the point where he's only vibrating, not blurting and screaming in frustration."

"Marcus offered to spar with him and Xander turned him down for the same reason my children did their practices," Goemon told him.  "It was very wise of him."

"I'll tell him you said that, Goemon.  Xander's already picked his side though.  He's sticking up for your kids."  Goemon nodded at that.  "He'll do anything you need him to do, he said so, but he said he's ignoring her being there.  He even did it without the kids telling him what they were doing about this."

"He did have the most influence in our lives," Arsene offered dryly.  "After all, it was him and Uncle G who basically raised all of us."  She shifted some, crossing her legs.  "What are we doing about the holidays?"

"You're coming home," Lupin said firmly.  "Then we'll all escort Lotus to Japan to witness that."  They nodded, that seemed reasonable.  "If she's there, you guys can ignore her like she's a shade.  I will agree with that approach.   It'll keep any direct snarking and picking down to the barest minimum.  We've got to let Goemon decide on his own relationship."

"She has changed."

Lupin looked at him.  "Not to quote or anything, Goemon, but how would you know?  She's a constant problem in our lives and she always says such things."  Goemon sighed.  "You said that about her how many times?"

"This time she has, even Jigen saw it."

"No, Jigen said he saw her crying, that's not a change."

"A woman's tears are a weapon," Melissa told him.  "We're taught that and she tried to teach us that too."

"Fine.  What would convince you all?" Goemon asked.

"Mom saying it," Lupin the Fourth told him.  "Uncle Jigen saying it."

"Very well.  I will ask Xander to come back for now.   His is wise about people because he watches them so often."  Goemon looked at Lupin.  "Would that be fine?"

"As long as you help him keep him calm," Lupin agreed.  "Remember, Xander's got a temper like Lotus'.  He will have to let it out."

"Agreeable," Goemon agreed.  "What of the children?"

"I'd rather have them at home, Goemon.  They're in a critical time for their training.  I will be telling Bix that she's not allowed access to the kids without someone else there.  I don't think it'll be a problem, but I'm not going to chance it with Sarah being so weak at the moment."

"Excuse me, what's wrong with my baby sister?" Melissa asked dryly.

"She caught the flu," Lupin told her.  "She's in that long recovery stage.  She's already seen the doctor to be checked over again.  They did another EKG.  They said it's getting to the point where they might want to fix a valve."

"Fine.  We'll be home for the holidays," Melissa agreed calmly.  "If she needs to be operated on, I want to be there."

"Of course."  Lupin looked at Goemon.  "Is that good for you?"

"It is a good compromise," he admitted.   "She won't be able to hold an act that long so we would know if it was real before the holidays."  His children walked back in with the range teacher.  "Was there another problem?"

"One of the assassin candidates just tried to jump them," the range teacher noted.  "He's on his way to the hospital, Headmistress."

"Agreeable.  I deplore that idea."

"Thank you.  Ishi was attacked first, and he did fight the boy off, who ran and went for Lotus.  She was taking apart his ribs when Ishi saved him by blowing a large hole in his knee.  She came to get us and report the incident."

"Very well done, children.  Are you all right?"

"I need an ice pack," Lotus offered, holding up her swollen knuckles.  "He was wearing body armor.  You might also want to have them check the dagger mark on his side."

"I'm sure they've already found it, Lotus," he assured her, patting her on the back.  "Melissa, can I have you three work with a few of the first years today?"

"Sure," she agreed.  "Lupin?"

"Good with me.  Ishi?"  He nodded.  "We'll be out once we're done here."

"That's fine, they'll be out in two classes."  He smiled and nodded at Lupin.  "Your daughter is excellent.  It's clear she eared her own forty-eight."  He left, going back to his students.

"I'm sorry, but he did attack us first," Ishi noted calmly.

"You did the correct thing, Ishi," the Headmistress promised.  "You're not in trouble for that.  A compromise has been reached.  Are you willing to listen?"

"If they can assure us we don't have to interact," Lotus admitted, pulling the bug off the desk and holding it up. "We were listening."

"You can treat her as a shade," Lupin promised.

"You will take your other mother's recommendations?"

"Probably," Lotus agreed. "I'm not promising anything."

"Agreeable, daughter," Goemon said, opening his arms.  His daughter hugged him gently.  "I'm sorry I used that against you," he whispered.  "It was wrong of me, daughter."  She nodded, pulling back.  "Will you forgive me?"

"She has you blinded, father. I'm not surprised," she admitted.  "I know you'll never do it again.  Or else you won't have a daughter."  He nodded, accepting that.  She looked at her brother.  "Are you okay with this?"

"She hurt you worse," Ishi reminded her.  "If you can, I can, and we'll wear each other out if we must.  Or mom."

"Good point.  Thank you, Ishi."  She sat down in her uncle's lap, looking at the Headmistress.  "If someone's going off campus, I need some things."

"Your father may take you off for an hour," the Headmistress offered.  "That way you can stock up on some necessities."  Lotus nodded.  "Is there anything else to discuss?"

"I'm still not ready to spar yet," Lotus admitted.

"Then go meditate or watch, Lotus," she offered.  "You've already passed your mastery.  The teacher saw you attack that boy and was quite in awe.  He said you never showed moves like that in class."

"I try very hard not to do that at all," Lotus admitted.

"Daughter, do not hide your true skills," Goemon complained.  "That is one thing I wish Xander hadn't taught you."

"Father, I can beat you.  I tamed my skills to my opponent in this case."  He gave her a long look.  "Don't believe me?  We can easily spar.  I am calm enough and you can stop me from killing you if I lose it in the middle of the fight."

"Fine, we will do so," Goemon agreed.  He stood up and pulled her up.  "The regular practice area?"

"There's classes all day.  We can use the inside ring," she offered.  "It's sand."

"That's fine."  He followed her down, letting his son hold his sword.  He stripped off his robe when he saw she was down to a tanktop and the pants part of her gi.  "Are you prepared?"

"I'm stretched.  I was doing katas in the woods."  She waved a hand.  "I did learn not to attack first."  He nodded and started off on a gentle attack.  She attacked back, making him frown and match himself to her skills.  It was a deadly fight back and forth, two masters working on each other, going so fast at times it was a blur.  Lotus finally ducked a blow and got him in the stomach, then backflipped away and looked at him, arranging herself for a new attack.  Goemon groaned and went down.  She bowed to him before walking back over.  "Daddy, women in crime have to be doubly, if not more, talented to get anywhere near the bottom levels," she reminded him.  "I worked damn hard to impress you at this moment.  Are you?"

He sat up and hugged her.  "You are quite impressive, Lotus.  I congratulate and honor you."  He gave her a squeeze.  "You are very good, daughter."  He smiled at her.  "Very well done."  He pushed some of her hair off her neck.  "Which weapon are you specializing in?"

"I thought possibly daggers, I do seem to like them," she admitted, pulling some hair around to play with it.   "I do very well with a sword though."

"I remember. You can learn them both," he promised, giving her another hug.  "You are wonderful, daughter."

"Thanks, daddy."  She grinned at him.  "Are you okay?  I kept myself from reaching for my dagger to stab you."

"No, I'm fine, daughter.  You did very well."  He stood up, setting her on her feet, then bowed to her.  "You will be quite an assassin if you choose, daughter.  You are my equal when I was twenty-six."

"Thank you, father," she said, bowing back.  She beamed at the others.  "Did you catch it on tape?"

"I did," Lupin the Fourth promised. "Damn, girl.  You're good."

"Yes, she is," the martial arts teacher admitted.  "I had hints but nothing of the real skills."

"Why would I unleash that on a bunch of kids who are green belts?" Lotus asked him.

"Indeed, which also shows a master's skill."  He bowed to her.  Then to Goemon and Ishi.  "Your family's skill is well built, Goemon.  I have been most pleased to teach such as them.  I will prepare myself for the other sons.  I will expect them to be just as good."  He smirked at Ishi, who smirked and blushed.  "He is just as good.  You should try him sometime."

"Once I'm not tired," Goemon offered.  "Thank you for watching out and helping Lotus where I couldn't."

"She was a joy to polish, Goemon. She already knew much of it, only needed some edges sanded down.  She does not do many flying moves, you may want to expand her that way with her weapons."  He left, going back to his students.  The few who had snuck in with him followed.  "That is what I expect," he noted to them.  "You need more practice, but it is attainable."  They nodded and got to work again.

Lupin smirked at Lotus, then waved her over, giving her his own hug.  "You're brilliant, Lotus.  When you find a sword and daggers you want, you tell me and I'll gladly get them for you, baby.  Very good job."

"Thank you, Uncle Lupin."  She beamed up at him, then at her brother.  "Well?"

"A few form faults due to the heaviness of your chest.  You'll have to spend time refinding your balance and practicing when they're trimmed down.  Otherwise, I'm damn impressed.  You never tried that on me."  He was nearly pouting.

"I didn't want to hurt your prettiness.  The girls might lynch me."

Lupin patted her on the back but let her go.  "Were you going to choose to go by Goemon or Lotus, sweetheart?"

"I like Lotus.  Most everyone realizes I'm Lotus Goemon though."

"Sure.  Like Lupin, you can be Lotus."  He grinned at Melissa.  "Are you going to stay Jigen the Second?"

"Sure," she agreed.  "By the way, I could use some shopping."

"Sure, Melissa," Lupin agreed. "Lotus can be taken off for an hour.  We can go do that."

"Let me shower first, Uncle, I stink," Lotus noted, heading for her dorms.  A few people looked at her so she smirked at them. "My father wanted to test me."  One girl whispered in her ear.  "I know, that's another good reason to shower.  Thanks though."  She wrapped her jacket around her waist to hide the blood spots and hurried on.

Lupin looked at Goemon.  "Got any ideas of which one she'll want?"

"I do," he admitted.  "There are two that would be excellent for her further training.  I will find mention of them and send them to her so she can look them over."  He smirked at his son.  "Were I not so tired, I would test you myself.  Instead I may make you go against Xander or Marcus."

"Or both?"

"Or both," he agreed happily.  It was an advanced skill to take on more than one attacker.  "You both do me proud," he promised, giving him a hug.  "Very good work, Ishi.  I am proud."

"Thanks, dad.  You're gushing though."  Goemon chuckled and let him go.   "Can we have real ice cream?"

"Of course, son," he agreed, walking them back to the entryway.  He took back his sword.  "Where is yours?"

"In another boy's trunk.  I'm going to kill him later tonight," he admitted dryly.  "It was stolen from my room last night."  Goemon snorted.  "Should I gather it?"

"Please, I wish to check it for you."  Ishi nodded and jogged off, going to take his sword back and leave a smart note instead. He found it in the guy's roommate's stuff instead and shrugged, sitting down to write the note to Wyatt about not letting his roommate use him again.  Then he walked out, going back to his father's side.  "They were using Wyatt's stuff to hide it," he said dryly.  Melissa snorted, shaking her head.

"Wyatt has been with Chad this year," Lotus noted as she came back.  "We really *have* to stop at a pharmacy on the way," she noted quietly.  Lupin looked at her and nodded.  "Thanks, Uncle."

"Welcome, dear.  Into the car!"  They headed that way, arranging themselves in the Fiat while Lupin got the roadster.

***

Xander smiled at Alan as he came in from his shower.  "What are you doing?  I thought I said I was too sore?" Alan asked cautiously.

"Just oil for a massage, Alan, you've got to be able to walk tomorrow."  He held up the small bottle. "Come on, I've already got the bed set up.  You could use the relaxation."

"So you're going to knock me out tonight?"

Xander leered.  "And then I'm going to leave my personal Sleeping Beauty so he can get to work on time in the morning."

"You're going to knock me out, then leave?"

"Yup, sorry.  Lupin wants me back at the house for a bit."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to be the one to tell the kids if Fujiko has changed or not."

"Ah.  I'll expect calls or emails daily."

"I'll start with emails so I don't interrupt at the wrong time," he promised, helping Alan into the prepared spot.  He gave him a gentle kiss, then went to work on his shoulders, making him one happy, sleepy man.   Xander wanted to write his name on Alan's butt but he knew he couldn't since Alan had a towel scene coming up in a few days.  So he left the bracelet he had someone weave for him, leaving it beside his watch.  Once Alan was cleaned off and tucked in, he grabbed the bags he had already packed and left him there, turning off the lights as he went.  He left the key on the counter, he wouldn't be needing it anytime soon.  Besides, he could pick this lock.  He jogged down the stairs, getting into his rental car and heading for the airport.  He noticed someone following him and sped up, heading for the interstate.  It'd be safer this time.  He saw a set of lights go on and put on the illusion choker before pulling over and turning off the engine.  "There was a car following me and I'm dating an actor," he said when the cop came up to him.  "I'm leaving the city so he can work."

"Which one are you dating?" he asked dryly.

"Alan...."  He mentally winced but kept it inside.

"Ah, then you are Lavelle.  I thought I saw the silver hair.  Step out of the car please, sir, and don't even try for any weapons."  He smiled as he opened the car door.

"Oh, man."  He stood up and sighed, then shook his head.  "I don't need a weapon, officer."

"Good.  I'm glad you'll do this calmly."

"Yeah, I think I can."  Xander shifted in his shoes, pressing on a small button that led to a gas canister on his collar.  The cop moaned and slumped to the ground.  Xander put him in his car and turned on his hazards, then locked the doors before closing him in.  He tested it to make sure it was sealed.  He had been a nice guy, he didn't want to see him hurt.  He got back into his car, heading on at a more normal pace, calling on his carphone.  "This is Lavelle.  I was nice to the cop who caught me speeding.  He's only asleep.  I locked him in his car on the highway, just before the Hollywood Sign exit, heading toward the city limits.  He may have a slight headache from the gas I used."  He hung up and turned on the radio, singing along with the music.   His flight wasn't too soon so he had time.

***

Jigen looked up at Xander as he walked into the office.  "Have fun with the cop?"

"I was being chased by someone, I hit the interstate.  I pulled over to throw the person off my tail.  I made a rookie error by saying I was dating Alan and he was up on his gossip. I gassed him."

"That's what I thought," Jigen agreed.  "Happens to the best of us. Have Lupin tell you about the time I left the map in the room with our route on it."  Xander smirked at him.  "The kids will be coming home for the holidays.  They've decided she's a shade until you say otherwise."  Xander nodded.  "The kids are back too.  They're napping upstairs.  Bix had to medicate Fred and Kenji on the plane.  Sarah's still doing better.  Thanks for that name in Germany."

"Not an issue.  She needs to have the best ever."  He sat down, crossing his legs.  "Do we have a job besides the kids?"

"No, but there's some news," Jigen said, smirking at him. "Lotus kicked her father's ass."

"Good.  I knew she could.  She knew she'd have to and she lived up to her expectations."

"She even did it in the family style."

"I had no doubts of that," he agreed.  "You should tell that to Marcus, he was working with her."

Jigen snickered.  "Sure, kid, if you say so."

"I do.  I was working with Ishi.  I barely worked with Lotus because I didn't use the same style.  I did spar with her now and then."

"I saw.  She's damn good.  Lupin forwarded the tape if you wanted to see it."

"Later.  We can watch it together?"

"Sure, but Fujiko wanted to join in."

"Hey, to me she's a shade too," Xander noted.  "Anything else going on yet?"

"Nope.  Lotus is going over this holiday for her presentation. She's already finalized it."

"Cool beans.  I'll take her to get her first kimono as soon as I can.   What about the others?"

"We're all heading over to be there for her," he admitted.

"Sure.  I've got formal clothes I can wear."  Jigen smirked at him again.  "I know, transparent," he sighed, "but yay."

"Good point, kid.  How's Alan?"

"Able to walk today," he said smugly, smirking back.  "I only gave him a backrub last night."

"Good job.  I'm sure his producers or whoever appreciate that.  Did you leave him a present?"

"I had someone locally weave a bracelet with our initials, I left it beside his watch. He may not be able to wear it on screen."

"That's fine.  It's subtle, I'm sure he likes that."  He stood up.  "Other than that, we're free until Lupin and Goemon come back, but we're being haunted."

"Easily dealt with.  What about Bix?"

"She's been given instructions and she's cool with them, man."

"Even better. I like that."  He stood up.  "Let me drop my crap upstairs.  Unless she took my room?" he asked at the odd look.

"No. She didn't take your room.  Lupin did clean your altar for you though."

"That's fine.  He knows how to be respectful of Janus and that special candle."  He headed up the stairs, dropping his bags on his bed, then heading back down to the kitchen to get a snack.  "I didn't stop for breakfast," he said with a grin for the housekeeper.

"You naughty boy, Xander," she said, kissing him on the cheek.

He looked at her.  "You're not Hilda."  She backed away.  "Hey, Jigen, have we realized this isn't Hilda?"

"Yeah, but I don't know who she is."

Xander reached for his necklace but the demon fuzzed up, becoming his ex.  "Hey, Ahn.  You good today?"

"I'm very good, Xander, but I want you back," she pouted.  "I'd do *anything*."

He patted her on the back.  "Fat chance, Anya.  Where's our housekeeper?"

"In the park.  She took the day off at my suggestion.  Please?"  He shook his head, sighing when she added puppy eyes.  "Please?"

Jigen walked in and grabbed her by the arm.  "Why is it that they're addicted to you?" he asked as he tossed her outside, then slammed and locked the door.  Someone knocked so he let the kids in.  "What are you guys doing up?"

"We play," Fred told him.  "Who she?"

"My ex girlfriend," Xander told him. "She's a demon."

"Oh.  Hi, demon lady ex girlfriend," Kenji said, smiling and waving.  "Why you here?"

"I want Xander back."

"My mommy," Fred stated, glaring at her.  "Get your own mommy."

"Fine," she sighed, disappearing, leaving a small scorch mark on the grass.  Which Xander poured his vial of holy water over.

"I feel better now," Jigen noted, shaking his head.  "Why you again?"

"Because I'm so good," Xander reminded him smugly, making him snort and shake his head.  "You don't remember that?"

"Oh, I do, but I'm not addicted."

"I guess that's good at the moment," Xander agreed.  They both quit teasing each other when Fujiko walked in, Xander going back to his sandwich making.  "Want one, Jigen?"

"No thanks.  I actually ate breakfast.  Where is the housekeeper?"

"Day off.  Anya suggested it to her.  She's supposed to be in the park."

"That's fine, I'll warn Lupin to pick up dinner.  He should be back in a few hours."

"Before you check, I did do a check for bugs," Xander offered when Jigen paused.  "My bags are shielded for electronics so you can if you want, or I'll go do it again."

"Sure, we can do that later.  Then you can show me where you're going to be buying a replacement for Ishi's DVD that you broke."  Xander nodded, then shook his head.  "Thanks.  I wanted to get Lupin something for his birthday."

"He likes Gundam," he agreed dryly.  "Sure, we can go do that.  Guys, wanna help me sort my DVD collection?" he asked as he carried his breakfast up the back stairs.  They cheered and ran after him, only stopping to check on Sarah.  She came in to lay on his bed to watch him, giving him a faint smile.  "Hey, baby girl.  How are you feeling?  The doctor said you were feeling better when I called him."

"Am," she offered, smiling as he hugged her, squeezing her hard.  "Love you."

"Love you too, Sarah.  I love you so much, baby girl.  I'm even back for a while.  Alan said he'd love to have you with us next time he's free."  She grinned at that; she like Alan, he braided her hair for her.   "You rest, love.  We're going to sort the DVD's and order a few more, okay?"  She nodded.  "Guys, help Uncle Jigen search for bugs first," he ordered, getting down to pull the other DVD's out from under his bed, along with the new holder for them.  He had been meaning to put it together.   He sat down to construct that on the other side of the bed, grinning when the boys helped by pulling all the DVD's out and piling them up.  "Put them in alphabetical piles, guys, by letter."

"Remember to put any that start with a, an, or the in the piles for the second word," Jigen offered.  They grinned and did that for him, so Jigen came over to help build the holder.  'This is nice.  How much?"

"Eighteen.  I got it online at walmart."

"I noticed when it came."  They finally got it all together and moved to start putting the DVD's in, starting with the massive series first.

"Not Gundam, those are Ishi's and he's got those nice crates for his."

"Sure."  He sorted those out by series and number, putting the broken one aside.  The rest of the collections went into the new holder, then the individual stuff went back on top of the DVD player.  "You need more storage."

"Yeah, but remember, this is only what's up here.  We've got cases downstairs." Jigen shuddered.  "Don't worry, I'm moving the majority of those to the house in England, the one in London.  The kids won't mind for now."

"You need one really good showhouse," Jigen told him, getting comfortable as the boys sat up with Sarah to watch him order more videos.  "That's the place?"

"That's the place I use," Xander agreed, typing in the title to search it.  He found one that was already signed and smirked.  "Hey, I won't even have to forge it."  He checked the sender's address, making sure it wasn't Ishi's copy, then bought it and ten more.  Then he turned it over to Jigen.  "I've already got a card on file so just add yours and you can sort it out."

"Sure, Xan, thanks.  I'll pay you back in a minute." He found the one the older Lupin had been looking for and ordered it.  Then found the one the younger Lupin was looking for and ordered it, then one for Ishi, that followed up to Xander's present.  "What are we getting Melissa?"

"Hmm.  Not sure yet," Xander admitted.  "She hasn't even dropped a hint.  I thought we'd get Lotus her own kimonos.  I've got one for her presentation.  Speaking of, I've got to call and have them send it over."  He took the phone from Sarah's hand, grinning at her.  "Thanks, princess."  He called the house in England.  "Hey, dude, it's Xander.  You know that one kimono, the one I had you make sure had no spots or anything?  Can you box that up and send it my way? It's for Lotus for her presentation.  Thanks, man.  Sure."  He grinned and hung up.  "It should be here in a few days."

"Good.  Are we getting her another one?"

"We can.  She's only got one kids' one."   Little arms hugged her.  "Yes, dear?"

"I get one?" Sarah asked.

"How about if we give you Lotus' old one?" he suggested, grinning at her.  "It's very pretty white with blue and gold."  She shook her head.  "No?"

"No, daddy.  Want my own."

"Okay, the next time we go to buy one, we'll take you, princess."

"Thanks, daddy."  She gave him another hug and a kiss on the ear.  "Love you."

"Love you too, baby girl."  He winced as his head started to hurt, grabbing the phone and dialing the house again.  "I saw a fire.  The kitchen, took the whole house.  Be careful and get the electrician up to check on the wiring."  He hung up with a moan.  "Ow."

"You okay?" Kenji asked.

"Just fine, baby.  Just a vision, a necessary one."  He looked at Jigen.  "I don't want to have to rebuy all my kimonos and rebuild the house over there."

"I agree," Jigen offered.  "Your collection is enough to make an insurance agent cry."

"They did when I insured it.  The same place that does dancers' legs and singers' throats has it.  They came up for an appraisal and the guy did walk out crying at the worth of the collection.   I pulled out the *full* collection," he said with a smirk.

"How many do you have?" Jigen asked. "A thousand?"

"Only a few hundred.  I think."  He shrugged. "I quit counting."  He looked back at the kids.  "Should we order another holder for the other DVD's?"  They nodded, giving him odd looks.  "Okay, Jigen, go ahead and find one of those on there and finalize the order."

"Sure, Xander."

"We have a spare bookcase in the kids' playroom," Bix offered from the doorway.  "We can always give you that one, Xander."

"That's an idea," Jigen agreed.  "Then you could unbox some of the ones downstairs."

"I've got six hundred DVD's downstairs, Jigen.  Besides, some of it is porn."

"Hmm."  Jigen shrugged.  "So leave the porn down there. You don't really have room for more furniture."

"Point.  Sure, Bix, I'll come get it in a minute.  Are you sure we won't need it for their books?"

"No, they've got plenty and I'm about to go through some of them and see if we can donate some to a local children's shelter."

"Sounds like an idea," Jigen agreed.  "Then happy boy here can buy them more."

Xander grinned and nodded.  "Yup, sure can!"

"Will you read us a story, Bix?  About the kitsune?" Sarah asked.  "I not see my buddy recently."

"Sorry, honey, but we had a small fight about the ancestors when they were here," Xander explained.  "You could try calling him, but I'm not sure if he can come down to cuddle you."

"Sure."  She rubbed the necklace the big fox had given her, getting him.  She smiled.  "Can I play with my friend?"

"Of course, Sarah," he agreed gently.  "Are you all right?  You look very tired."

"She had the flu and with her heart condition it takes a while for her to heal," Xander said, looking back at him.  "The portals are unsealed."  He got up to get the bookcase, letting Kenji ride on his back since he was clinging to him.  "You wanted to help?"

"Yes.  Daddy not back yet."

"He'll be home with the big Lupin soon enough, little man," he promised, reaching back to pat him.  Bix helped him move the bookcase into his room, then helped him figure out where to put it.  They ended up moving a few pieces closer together, like the desk and the dresser, to fit it in.  Then the boys got down to put the DVD's in, still sorting by alphabetical order.  "Very good job, kids," he praised when they were done.  Only two were out of place.  "I'm impressed.  We're going to show the daddy how good you were!"  They grinned.  "Go get books!"  They ran to get books for them to read.  "I'm impressed. It took me a while to get that one."

"Me too," Jigen agreed, looking at the bookcase.  "Nearly perfect.  Only two out of place, and those were 'the' cases."

Downstairs a door slammed.  "I'm home!" Lupin yelled.

"We're up here!" Xander yelled, but the boys squealed and ran for Lupin and Goemon to get hugs.  "You forgot to tell him to get dinner."

"I can get it later," he said with a shrug.  He looked back at the Lord of the Kitsune.  "Are you two still fighting over what one of your rogues did?"

"I'm not," Xander told him.

"He was punished, Xander.  He's still being punished."

"Fine. That's good," Xander agreed.  "That's why I reopened the portal."

"Then can we take Sarah?"

"Not until she's feeling better.  She doesn't need the stress," Jigen told him.  "She's supposed to be resting."

"That's fine.  I'll bring one of the healers down to look at her when I bring her friend."  He smiled at Xander.  "We're not fighting?"

"I haven't been since I unsealed the portals."

"Thank you, Xander," he said, bowing to him.  "We really do like the new plastic surgery office and idea."  He disappeared, going to get her a healer and her friend to play with.

Lupin walked in with the boys, smirking at them.  "Back at work I see?"

"Just on the DVD's," Jigen told him. "They sorted the bookcase, got all but two in the right place," he said proudly.

Lupin looked, then nodded.  "Very good job, guys.  What should we ask the housekeeper to make tonight since you were so good?"

"Sketti," Kenji said.  "She not here though."

"Where is she?" Goemon asked from behind them.

"Anya decided to take her place today to beg to have me back," Xander said honestly.  "She's taking the day off apparently."

"That's fine, we can order dinner or I can cook," Lupin promised, leaning down to kiss Sarah.  "Hi, Sarah."

"Hi, Unclie.  I feel better.  I help."

"I can see how very helpful you are," he agreed, setting the boys down.  "If only because you keep them out of trouble."

Goemon looked at the bookcase.  "That's a very good job, boys."

"Thank you, daddy," Kenji said with a grin.  "Alex and Yu play in nursery."

"That's fine, I'll go see them in a minute," he promised, patting his son on the head.  "Were you told that Lotus passed her mastery with me?"

"I did hear that she kicked your butt," Xander said with a grin for him.  "Good job teaching her, Goemon.  She's a wonderful girl."

"Yes, she is, though I believe most of the praise belongs on other shoulders," he noted modestly.

"Marcus," Xander told him. "Not me.  I took Ishi since he uses my style."

"I'll call to congratulate him later then," Goemon agreed quietly.  "Are you back for a while?"

"Yeah, Alan has to be able to walk and not move funny when he's shooting so I'm here until he's done, unless he gets a few days off in a row.  Then I might fly him back to England and meet him there."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed, smirking at him.  "Cop, Xander?"

"No worse than my thing with the map," Jigen noted calmly.  "He let it slip that he was dating Alan and the guy had been reading the trades."

"That's fine then.  At least you locked him in his car so he wouldn't get hurt."

"He was nice to me," Xander said with a shrug.  "I'm still wondering who was chasing me."

"It could have been a reporter," Jigen offered.

"Which is why I ran.  It was better for Alan's career."  Xander shifted so he could stretch, and his daughter squealed and bent over to tickle him, making him giggle and wiggle until he could get free and do the same to her, but she started to cough so he settled for hugging her.   "I'm sorry, precious."

"It's okay," she panted.  "I be better soon, daddy, or you can beat up on the nasty germies for me."  She sounded so sure of that fact.

"I'd do it if I could, princes.  I'd beat those nasty germs up all the time for you."  He kissed her cheek, looking over as a healer and a baby kitsune appeared.  "Hmm, baby kitsune," he said in awe.

"He pretty," Sarah giggled, crawling over to look at him, coughing a bit on the way.  "Is he a tiny baby, like a newborn?"

"Nearly," he agreed, patting her on the back.  "Unfortunately I can't get him to let me go."  He looked her over.  "Why are you coughing?"

"I was sick.  The bad germies got me and then they made me really tired so I sleep a lot."

"She's got a heart condition," Xander reminded him gently.

"I'd forgotten.  Here, let me try to hand this one off again.  Xander?  Most babies seem to like you."  Xander stretched back and took the baby, cradling him gently against his chest as he crooned to keep him calm.  "Thank you, Xander."  He sat down next to Sarah, looking her over, one hand on her chest, one on her head.  "Well, I think I can make you a bit stronger, but you're still going to need to rest for a while longer.  I wish I could heal that for you, Sarah.  I'd love to."

"Me too," Xander said dryly.  He looked at him.  "Where's the usual guy?"

"He's asleep right now.  He did that one's birth and was worn out.  The mother was having a very hard time.  It's actually a half-kitsune, half human baby."

"I didn't know that was possible," Goemon said quietly.

"Apparently so," he said with a shrug.  "Let me feed you some energy, Sarah, then I'll get the other guy up.  Or you can wait if you want."

"Not to insult or anything, but I'd almost rather wait," Jigen told him.  "She's got her daddy's nature and she's hard to work on sometimes.  The other guy said sometimes she sucked up all his energy before he could stop her."

"Then I'd rather wait," the healer agreed.  "Sometimes that can cause other complications."  He patted Sarah on the head.  "You'll be just fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, I'm a healer, I know so."  He ruffled her hair.  "Now, you lay down and let me tell your normal healer.  He'll come down after he's had a nap."  He smiled at Xander.  "Can I have him back?"

"Sure, if you can unwind his tail and undo his nails," he said gently, smiling down at the baby.  "You're not the first to find my chest comfy, little guy."  The Lord of the Kitsune appeared and gave him an odd look.  "He's tangled up on me."

"What's wrong with this healer?"

"Sarah has the ability to sponge energy, my Lord, I do not wish to do harm.  We discussed it and they agreed with me.  It's better to have someone who understands her energy flows already in such delicate cases.  Has someone found the heart valve problem?"  Jigen nodded.  "They are working on it?"

"She's on medicine right now, and they're talking about replacing it."

"All of this from pre-birth magic instabilities," Xander agreed.  "Fred's mostly normal, except for his entire universe revolving around breasts."  He looked up, smiling gently at the Lord of the Kitsune. "He's precious."

"He is.  He'll also be wetting soon, Xander.  How tangled up is he?"

"Claws and tail."  He shifted so the fox spirit could get the baby undone.  "He's not really healthy either.  He feels like Sarah to me," he said quietly.

"I'll have him looked over, Xander. Thank you for testing him."

"He's trying to suck, our magics touched."  The baby was carefully released and handed over.  "He's got one too," he told the healer.

"We knew he was going to have an instability."

"His magic is reaching out, it touched mine and recoiled, as it should, but he needs stabilized."

"I'll do my best, Lord.  Should we take Sarah with us?"

"Please, Daddy?  I'll be good and sit a whole lot."

"When you're stronger and not sleeping all the time," Jigen reminded her.  She pouted.  "Sweetheart, you're not strong enough yet."

"Lotus would let me and so would Bix," she pouted.

"Bix?" Jigen called.

"It may help her.  Her energies are bent toward their spectrum," Xander offered.  "Sarah, honey, have you felt more tired since you came in here?"

"No, mommy."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Janus is a big meany to Arsene but he likes me, he makes me giggle and happy."  She looked at the Lord.  "Please?"

"It could help her, guys," the fox spirit offered.

"It could," Xander admitted.  "But she still needs to rest."

"She can do that in my apartment," the Lord offered.  "You trusted her to stay over before."

"Fine.  Just watch out for her. She's coughing now and then.  Do you need her medicines?"  He nodded so Jigen got up to get them, having a word with Bix in the hall from the mumbling going on.   He came back with two bottles and a pill bottle.

"Instructions?"

"On the front. She's due for the liquids in the next hour," he ordered, handing them to the healer.  "The pill's not due until two from now."

"Of course, consort.  Thank you for your trust," the healer agreed, lifting the little girl up.  "Come along, Sarah.  We'll tuck you in and let your friends come visit you on the couch."  She grinned and nodded, going with him, even letting him tuck her feet in.   He took the infant back, taking him to check him over and to tell the other healer she was there for him.

The Lord sat down next to her feet, smiling at her.  "That's a very pretty nightgown, Sarah.  Who bought it for you?"

"Bix did.  She said I'd still look pretty while I was sick in it."

"You do," he assured her with a small smile.  She was starting to get stronger, he could feel her sucking up the local energy.  Xander had been right, she was a sponge and the healer shouldn't treat her without realizing that.  It could kill him if she stripped him bare. "When is Lotus being presented?  We wanted to witness that."

"This holiday.  She's got a pretty kimono coming from mommy's collection.  He had the butler guy who lets me help dust send it over for her.  Daddy had to call him back because he had a vision of a fire."

"Hopefully he averted it," the Lord agreed.  He smiled as his daughter toddled in and climbed into his lap, waving at Sarah.  "You remember Sarah."

"Hi.  You sick too?"

Sarah nodded.  "I had the flu but then it made my heart worse.  So I've got to rest instead of play. Mommy got paranoid and sent me to 'nother doctor 'gain too.  He was nice though, talked in funny language."

"He was German," the Lord told her.  "It's another of the mortal's languages."

Sarah nodded.  "But I'm good learning English and Japanese right now," she admitted.  "Fred's better at it, but he uses naughty words in them."

"I bet he does," the healer agreed as he came in.  He bowed to the Lord and his daughter.  "Hi, Sarah.  What's wrong?"

"She had the flu, it set off another bout of weakness."

"Hmm. You feel better up here?"  She nodded, grinning at him. "We'll have to tell your mother to let up come up to play more often then," he promised, picking her up. "I'll bring her right back, Lord.  The baby does have a small problem but the mother is fighting hard that the baby isn't hers now."

"Really?" he asked dryly, glaring at the wall.  "Remind her of the birth, see if it stirs any memories."  The healer nodded.  "If not, find the child a good home. It already likes Xander."

"Fine, Lord.  Thank you, Lord."  He walked Sarah out, chatting with her about the new baby.  They paused so Sarah could hug the Incubus ambassador from Hell's realms.  She liked him, he told good stories to her.

***

Xander looked up from his sorting his DVD's, grinning when Lupin came in.  "This is why we moved the bookcase in."

"It's not a problem, Xander, I was coming in to help.  I have no idea what's in the bottom boxes."

"Mostly porn by the titles," he said with a grin, going back into that box.  There was only a single layer and each box had a manifest of what was in it.  The main list was on his computer.  "I still have to follow Alan's orders and take my Chronicle and diaries to that artist."

"So I'm going to be a cartoon again?" Lupin teased.

"Yup, sure am.  Don't worry, I'll have him let you chase all the pretty women."

"Sure, Xander."  He gave him a gentle kiss.  "Need help?"

"Sure.  I was going to leave most of the porn down here.  Start in the back?"  He nodded, heding to the back stacks.  "I have no idea what half of this is, it looked interesting so I bought it.  It's like Ethan and Giles with books."

"Should I worry about demons coming out to eat me?"  One had in one of Ethan's books until Xander and Marcus had glared it to death.

"No, I haven't done that to any of them.  So unless the company did it, they're safe."

"Good."  He pulled down a box he knew was porn, putting it aside.  "I've got two of these upstairs."

"That's fine, as long as they make it into the right box.  Arsene's got four or five of the het ones too."  Lupin chuckled at that.   "I'm not going to worry about it until Fred or Kenji start stealing some of them."

"Me?" Kenji asked from the doorway.  "Need help?  Daddy nap."

"Gee, you really are your daddy's boy," Lupin teased, letting him sit on his lap to help him. "Whenever we talk or think about your daddy he shows up too."  He tickled him, making the boy wiggle and laugh.  "Help the uncle, Kenji.  Help him by sorting out the cartoons from everything else."

"Okay."

"May not work," Xander said in a sing-song voice.

"I'll monitor those," Lupin reminded him.

"Fine.  I've got room for about two hundred DVD's upstairs."  They nodded, sorting out everything.  Then Xander could sort out what he wanted upstairs.  Of the six hundred down here, only two-hundred and fifty were clean enough to go upstairs, though a few boxes were pulled up and slid under his bed.  That way he could have smut.  They came out and took the boys down to the backyard to work with them.  It was time to wear the kids out so they'd sit still for dinner.

***

Goemon looked up as Xander sat next to him, giving him a gentle smile.  "She has changed."  Xander handed over a journal, something he was familiar with.  "Where did you get this?"

"Her room.  Just now.  Dated for today.  I didn't read past the first few lines."

Goemon flipped to the last page with writing, reading the entry.  He shuddered after a moment and closed the journal, handing it back.  "It will not happen."

Xander gave him a long look.  "Goemon, I know you love her.  I know she's the light at the end of the tunnel for you.  I'm not letting her hurt my kids."  Goemon nodded, that was reasonable and what he'd expect.  "This is the only warning," he said gently.  "I like you, big guy, but I'll help you find someone much better once she's dead."

"She won't do that, Xander."

"If you're sure, I'll sit back and watch."

"Why did you take that?"

"I heard her on the phone talking to someone about the kids and how pretty her daughter was.  Lupin's tracing the phone call since she tried to get the top Courtesan in Europe to take Lotus in as a student."  He shuddered again, hunching over some.  "So, no.  I'm not going to trust yet.  Got me?"  He nodded.  "Now, if you want, there are things we can do to change her," he offered quietly. "There's things to totally change her personality."

"No.  It is fine, Xander.  She can be discouraged from trying for the children, nothing else."  He looked at him again.  "Thank you."

"Welcome, man."  He got up, going to put Fujiko's diary back and then head for the office.  "Her current plan was to breed Lotus to Jigen, breed Arsene to Goemon, and have you take in Melissa," he announced. "That way the kids would supposedly be more stable and more usable."

Lupin shook his head, sitting back.  "Are you sure?"

"Her journal said so, Lupin.  I heard her talking to someone about the kids.  Who was it?"

"The top Courtesan in Europe, Countessa Domini."

"The same one who she tried to get to teach Lotus?" Xander suggested.  Lupin nodded and put his head back down.  "Goemon said I could make her fucking sorry for what she's done to those kids."

"Go for it," Jigen said from the corner.  "I doubt it's a real plan though."

"Bet me," Xander said dryly.  "Check her phone logs.  How many calls and to where?"

"One to Montreal, one to Switzerland, one to Japan, and one to Italy, to the Madam," Lupin admitted tiredly.  "I don't want to deal with this."

"I don't blame you."  Xander sat down.  "We've got to warn the kids, Lupin."

"No, I've talked to the Countess and she said she'd never take Lotus in, that her destiny lies in another form of work.  She did say that Lotus would probably grow out of her distaste for dressing like her mother when I asked her advice. She said once her anger settles and is released, it should help a lot.  She offered a place for Melissa or Arsene, until she learned that Melissa is a marksman and that Arsene is who she is."  He shrugged.  "She said she'd gladly work with them in the future if they needed her special skills."

"That's something at least," Jigen said grimly.  "Maybe she'll be the one to find Arsene a permanent consort."  He leaned forward.  "We do what, Lupin?"

"Right now, we do nothing," he admitted.  "I'm tracing the other numbers to see where they are.  Xander, what were you planning?"  Xander shrugged.  "Let me know beforehand?"

"No.  The only one I'll tell is Goemon.  It involves him most, it's his wife."  He stood up.  "Anything else?  I'm going to watch a DVD."

"Go ahead," Lupin agreed, watching him leave.  He looked at Jigen.  "You okay?"

"No," he admitted.  "That's a low plan, even for Fujiko, man.  I can't stand that idea in the least."

"You and me both, Jigen.  Don't worry, the princesses of crime will be doing something spectacular in a few days," he said with a smug look.  "The empress said so."

"Good," Jigen agreed, standing up.  "I'm going to head up too.  Need anything?"

"No, go ahead and set the security alarms if Goemon's inside."  He nodded, leaving him there to put his head down and moan in peace.  Fujiko vs Xander was not something that he wanted to witness.  Fujiko was the mistress of low blows and teasing, but Xander was in a level of his own.  He was ruthless when it came to his kids.  He heard a scream and hopped up, running up the stairs to see what was wrong.  "What's going on?"

Xander came out of the nursery, holding up Alex.  "I'm going to kill someone," he said in a deathly calm voice.  He looked over as Goemon came up the stairs, holding up his daughter.  "I've now had enough, Goemon."

"Let me, Xander," he offered quietly.  Xander shook his head.  "Please?  There may be some other reason."

"Bet me!  She was asleep, Goemon!"

"What's going on?" Fujiko asked as she came out of Goemon's bedroom.

"Fujiko, did you put Alex into that outfit?" Lupin asked.  She nodded.  "Why?"

"Because it's cute."

"She's three, Fujiko," Xander said, glaring at her.  "She's also not going to be a whore for her career. She's going to be one of those nice knights like I used to be."  He set his daughter down and stripped her, then gave her a hug and whispered in her ear, making her nod and head for Bix's room.  He dropped the clothes there, walking over to where Fujiko was standing.  He slammed her into the wall, holding her there by the hand on her throat.  "If you go near any of those children ever again, I will make you wish you were still in that coffin," he promised in a cold hiss.  "You have just fucked with the wrong person, Fujiko Mine.  There is nothing that will save you from my wrath.  Not your husband.  Not your children.  Nothing.  You touched my child.  You made disgusting plans about the others.  Yes, I heard you," he said with a smug look for her.  "You will be paying and paying heavily.  I will make sure that what I went through in Hell is *nothing* compared to what you will be going through for this.  Do not come near my children again."  He let her go when Jigen pried his hand off her, watching as she ran down the stairs crying.  "Good," he agreed, watching her.

Goemon coughed.  "Xander, I understand the anger," he noted.  "I will punish her."

"No, Goemon, you won't."  He looked at him.  "Did you know she called Madam Domini about Lotus?"  He shuddered.  "Exactly.  I'm betting at least one of those other calls she made was to a DNA lab."  Lupin nodded, he knew that much.  "Then she's fucked. She's harming my family."

"Lotus is my daughter, Xander."

"And do you really think that those plans of her won't hurt Melissa?" he demanded.  "I sincerely doubt I want my daughter bred to Lupin."  He got away from the others.  "Your spouse is now endangering my children's lives, Goemon.  I don't give a damn if you still love her.  If you do, you've got a week, a single week, to fucking well fix her.  Or else I'm going to react.  When I do, we'll let you grieve and help you find someone more suitable.  Someone more like Bix."  Goemon nodded, going after his wife to speak with her.  He stood there, drawing in breaths through his nose and letting them out slowly.  "I'm going to deal with the punching bag," he noted, heading down to do that.  Maybe he wouldn't kill her if he could wear some of that anger out.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "I'm agreeing with Xander."

"Me too.  I'll hold her, you know that."

Lupin nodded.  "I remember."  He went to check on the other kids, bringing Jigen to help with Sarah since she was tangled up in her blankets again and panting because of her nightmare.

***

Ishi looked up as his sister came back from the office.  "What happened?"

"Mother tried to get Countessa Domini to take me in as a student again," she said blandly, staring at him.  "She called to tell me that she was going to ignore such requests unless I made one personally, and said that Uncle Lupin had told her I was phobic about dressing up, and offered some advice on the subject."  Ishi scowled.  "Then we called the house and got Bix.  Mother dressed Alex up in her favorite purple outfit, only sized just for the baby."  Ishi shuddered at that.  "I'm going to go wear out some of my anger by screaming.  You don't have to follow me."  She walked out, slamming the door, which stunned a few others watching from the other tables.

Her scream of rage made some jump but Ishi shook his head.  "Let her.  It's necessary."  He got up so he could find the others, finding them watching Lotus.  "Did you hear?"

"No, not yet," Melissa said grimly.  "It's on the boards though.  Fujiko noted that since we're girls, we can't be expected to be real thieves."

"Fat lot she knows," Arsene said dryly.  "We on for that plan?"  Melissa nodded. "You're sure it's going to be there?"

"It'll be there.  It's the largest showing of pirate treasure ever.  It's all real stones.  I talked with someone who was casing it for us.  He had been going for himself, but then he heard you were interested, Ar.  He said he'd watch you work and report.  That way we can use it as a proof job."

"Fine."  Arsene looked at Ishi.  "Get her armed. We'll go do that now.  I'll get us permission."  Ishi nodded, going to change clothes and pack his weapons bag.  On the way past, he drug Lotus with him, talking quietly to her.  Arsene looked at Melissa.  "When does it get unloaded?"

"Tonight.  It goes from the ship and starts on the trek to the museum by truck."

"Good deal," she agreed coldly.  She stomped off, heading for the office.  She barged in during a staff meeting.  "Sorry to intrude, but some people have been convinced that since we're *girls* we're going to be like Fujiko.  We're proving ourselves yet again.  We'll be back in four days."

"Lotus is grounded to the academy," the Headmistress said gently.

"If she doesn't, her mother can do more like this," she countered.  "She's put it around on the bulletin boards that we're going to be following in her footsteps instead of our father's."  The staff shuddered, hopefully at the coldness in her voice.  "So we need to go.  If you want to expel us, do so.  We'll be back in about four days.  Ishi's got her calmed down so she's no longer screaming in rage."  She nodded and left, going to pack a bag and change clothes.  The family colors were red and black for the most part.  Her favorite unitard and skirt were easily found, along with her shoes and socks.  She jogged out to the car, getting in to drive.  Melissa's car it may be, but a Lupin always drove on jobs.  Ishi and Lotus came out, Lotus with his sword and Ishi with another one.  Melissa followed, smirking at Ishi's leather-clad rear-end.  "Well," she said as they got in.  "Cute pants, Ishi."

"They're comfy and warm. It's winter where we're going.  Let's go."

"Are we in trouble?" Lotus asked.

"Do I care?" Lupin asked. Melissa closed her door so she backed out, heading toward the gates.  She paused there.  "We're going to prove that we're more than girls yet again.  We'll be back in about four or five days.  I've told the headmistress."  She drove on, heading for the airport.  "Did you call ahead, Melissa?"

"Yeah, while I was packing.  Cecilia has the plane ready for us."

"Good."  She sped up once they hit the main road, getting comfortable for the short trip.  There was a private airstrip nearby and their plane was there.

***

Four days later, Lupin looked up as his office door opened, his mouth opening when he saw his very smug daughter standing there.  "Arsene, why are you out of school?"  She held up a strand of pearls, making him swallow.  "Where did you get that from?"

"The pirate treasure."  She shrugged.  "Some of us are just like you, daddy.  No matter what whores say on the bulletin boards.  We even had someone spotting us to report back to the bulletin boards that we're not going to be following in her footsteps.  I do believe we're tithing the senior group twenty percent still?"  He swallowed and nodded so she snapped her fingers, letting Lotus carry in their tithe.  "Split it however, daddy.  I'll be right back, then we're flying back to Italy tonight."  She strolled off, finding Goemon, Xander, and Jigen in the back yard, with Fujiko in the kitchen.  She opened the back door.  "I've just dropped a tithe in the office with father," she said loudly enough to break into Xander's kata.  "The pirate treasure was very pretty and now it's very ours."  Jigen's cigarette fell out of his mouth.  Goemon looked stunned.  "Speaking of treasures, Uncle G.  Lotus has Ishi's sword and Ishi presently has Kenji's.  We need to find her a blade worthy of her skills sooner."  She turned and strolled back to the office.  She found her father babbling at the pretty jewels, smirking at him as she leaned in the doorway.  "Good enough, daddy?"

"Very good, empress," he said with a smirk for her.  "I checked the bulletin boards.  You're right, it worked."

"Thanks, daddy."  She walked in and kissed him on the cheek.  "I wanted the ruby set, but we thought you'd like that."  She winked at him, looking over as the rest of the older group came in.  "Melissa's adding oil to the Fiat's engine.  She said it needs an overhaul.  Ishi's gathering bullets to take with us."

"That's fine," Jigen agreed.  He looked at the tithe, mouth open.  "That's ten percent?"

"We tithe twenty to the whole group," she reminded him.  "But they're pretty," she agreed smugly.  "Lotus, where's ours?"

"In the trunk of the car," she said quietly.  "We had one of the fences in Paris split it for us.  That way there could be no quibbling and he could estimate the worth of the haul."  She bowed to her father.  "Ishi's sword does very well cutting open cases and guards."

He hugged her, letting out a quiet sniffle.  "I have one I want you to look over," he promised.  "It is very good.  Made by the family but not with the same recipe.  It is a bit lighter."

"I would appreciate that.  My wrists aren't quite as used to the heaviness of yours."

"Where did you find it?" Lupin the Third asked.

"In Japan, at the castle," Goemon reminded him, making him smirk.  "It should go to her.  She will use it honorably."  He tipped his chin up.  "I'm very proud, Lotus."

"Thank you, Father.  We let Ishi be the backup this time.  He even got to play distraction.  We left just as Gramps' plane was coming in.  He flew us out."  He smiled at that.  Melissa and Ishi walked in with their bags.  "Is that the haul?"

"No, that's still in the two chests."  She nodded at her father.  "We got it.  A real proof job."

"How did you do that?" Fujiko asked.  The kids ignored her, it was like they couldn't hear her.  "Lupin?"

"Let's see what the bulletin boards say," Lupin decided, logging back into one.  He smiled at the first entry.  "Someone wants to know if they should grade you."  He typed in a 'yes' and laughed at the remarks.  "For audacity, you guys get an A, for daring you guys got an A, for plan management you guys got a B?" he asked, looking at his daughter, then Melissa.

"Another shipment came in earlier than we estimated," Melissa said with a shrug.  "Nothing very stunning.  Church art from the Vatican."

"Fine," he agreed, going back to his reading.  "Overall they gave you guys an A, and suggested that you guys do more research before you do your next job.  Someone else noted that they had another helper casing the museum?"

"He had wanted to do it, but then Melissa talked him into working for us in this case.  We paid him ten grand," Arsene admitted smugly, sitting down to sprawl in her chair.  "He was more than happy enough to provide us with plans.  Which we put into the store online."

"Good job," he praised.  He went back to reading.  "Hmm.  Jigen's plan was very well thought out, they noted that the second shipment was nearly twelve hours early," he read, nodding at Melissa.  "Another two bosses gave you girls, and Ishi, an A.  One dissenting score from a Russian family but they're upset that you're so young and girls."  He typed a response to that and warned him about the rest of the family starting.  He laughed at one last comment.  "What pearl and diamond?"

Lotus pulled the pearl out of her pocket and held up the softball sized jewel.  "This?" she asked smugly, tossing it to him.  He drooled as he looked it over.  "It's got one spot where there's some discoloration.  The diamond?"

Melissa pulled it out of her pocket and held it up. "Very pretty and very nicely red," she said proudly.  Lupin did drool about that.  She tossed it over, watching as he stroked it and muttered to it.

"Having a Golem moment, Lupin?" Xander teased.  He hugged them all.  "I'm so proud!  You guys have done your training proud!  You guys have done the family proud!  I'm so happy!"  He hugged Lotus last, grinning at her.  "Better?" he mouthed.  She nodded, smirking at him.  "Good girl."  He released her, grinning at Goemon.  "You owe me a bottle of saki."

"I do," he agreed.  "Lotus was more than capable in her first field exercise as the samurai behind the thieves."  He nodded at his daughter.  "I expected no less but I did expect you to pause for a moment."

"I nearly did but then the guy tried to shoot at me.  By the way, I figured out how you cut bullets.  Will my new sword be able to do that?"

"Hopefully," he agreed.  "Sometimes it is the wielder that determines strength.  Even my own blade has been broken in the past."

She nodded at that wisdom.  "That's fine, father.  Ishi, here."  He accepted his sword back and followed her father up to look at the other blade, smiling at the beauty of the blade.  "I like this," she announced, walking it back into the office.  "Ishi?"  She let him look it over.

"Very well conformed.  A few nicks.  A dent.  It needs some care and sharpening.  I'll help you do it later."  She nodded, taking it back and putting it back into the scabbard, holding it.  "Thank you, father."

"You're welcome, son.  You both do me very proud.  The younger two can only look up to your example."

Jigen smirked at his daughter.  "Good job," he offered quietly.  She winked at him.  "What's wrong with the engine?"

"I think it needs an overhaul.  We're leaking oil now and then.  We're going through a lot too.  Do we have a family mechanic?"

"We do, but you'd have to leave the car here," Lupin told her, looking up from petting the pretty diamond.  "Precious.  Can we have this one?"

Arsene looked at her group, who all shrugged.  "Fine, but we don't have to tithe so much next time, dad."

"Fine," he agreed happily.  "Thanks, kids.  By the way, you're not expelled, but you're all grounded to the school for the next month.  She said she understood but you guys were very brash.  She also said that you're supposed to tithe the school.  I told her you didn't know about that."

"We'll find her something pretty," Ishi promised.  "Kids, we've got to go.  Especially if we're leaving the Fiat."

"My rental's outside, take it," Xander offered, tossing over the keys.  Ishi grinned.  "Usual place please."

"Sure, mom.  Thanks."  They got hugs, stole some lunch, then headed out to switch cars and leave.

Xander looked at the tithe.  "I'm damn impressed.  They thought that was going to be so tight it was unlikely anyone could break into it.  Did she send a letter?"  Lupin nodded. "Is that why Gramps and his Rays were coming in?"  Jigen nodded, smirking.  "Good job then."  He looked at the tithe, smiling at a long string of rubies and sapphires done. "I had one of these in diamonds."

"I remember," Lupin agreed smugly.  "Gods, this is great.  Someone check them for bugs."  He went back to stroking the pearl and the diamond together.  They were amazing and he loved them.  "Break up the rest between the fathers, Xander."

"Sure, Lupin."  He claimed his three pieces, letting Goemon and Jigen get theirs.  His was probably the smaller cut but he didn't care, they'd fit in very well with his collections.   Jigen did the check for bugs, then they took their cuts to their rooms.  Lupin left to put his new precious things in his personal safe, the one only he knew about.

Fujiko sat in the middle of the office floor, staring at the desk.  "They're girls though," she said in disgust.  "They don't have to do it the hard way."

Goemon walked in and closed the door.  "Fujiko, they may be girls but they want to be like their fathers.  They are every bit as good as we were in our prime.  You must leave them alone.  They will never follow your ways. You have nearly ruined my daughter of ever being girlish when she finds a spouse, I cannot allow you to harm the others.  If you do not quit, Xander has vowed that you will suffer and I will not be able to stop him.  They did this one to prove you wrong.  Did it?"

She looked up at him.  "They're girls, Goemon!  They didn't have to do it this way!"

"So?  They chose to do it this way.  They may be girls, but they know their minds on this matter.  They will not be following you into the service of your body for riches.  These girls are not like that and never will they be.  Please leave them alone, Fujiko, I do not wish to lose you for good.  Especially leave my daughter alone."  He left her there, hopefully to think.  He also went to call his son to ask about the leather pants he was wearing.  It was not exactly something the family was known for after all.  His son answered his phone.  "Leather, son?"  He listened to his son's chuckle and explanation.  "Fine, I understand.  Do not live in them.  People might think you were trying to change the family image and I would look horrible in them."  His son chuckled and shared that one.  "Was your sister well?"  He listened to the critique of their last job, his son was honest about what went on.  It was not as smooth as the bulletin board had said but it had gone better than some of their jobs had in the past.  "Very well.  I await you coming home for the holidays, son. Be safe."  He hung up and went to hide his cut of the job.  It was very generous of the children to tithe them that way.

***

Arsene got out of their rental, snapping her fingers to get the case and present it to the Headmistress.  "For you, my lady, a tithe since our fathers told us we had to.  I hope that five percent is enough?"  She smirked as the older woman opened the jewel case and gasped.  "I thought it would look stunning on you at that next mixer.  We agreed, that set should go on you.  It's a bit old for us."

"Lupin, this is magnificent," she agreed, smiling at her.  "You stole the whole thing?"

"They hadn't finished unpacking it yet, so it was easy enough to take their cases and all.  We found the six bugs and tossed them away already," Melissa told her.  "The plans and photos we have for that museum are now in the storage site with the others.  We were also graded online.  We got mostly A's, except for one Russian family who thought we're too young."

"Also, we found my weapon for me," Lotus admitted as she climbed out, presenting it to her teacher so he could examine it as a matter of courtesy.

"It suits you, Lotus.  It is very pretty, yet very deadly.  I'll get you the sharpening set later."  She nodded.  "Very well."  He handed it back with a bow.  "Ishi?  Did you participate?"

"I was look-out and distraction," he admitted.  "Lotus had this one."

"Very well.  You four will present the heist to the planning classes," the Headmistress ordered.  They nodded.  "No Fiat?"

"It needed an engine overhaul," Melissa reminded her.  "We left it at the house.  This is a rental, so the next person heading into town can drop it off."

"Fine," she agreed with a smirk.  "It is very nice and can easily be used for Driver's Ed at that time.  Thank you, children.  Inside.  It's nearly dinner."  They grabbed their things, hauling them up to their rooms, and the safes in them.  She had them opened in preparation for their return.  She looked at the other teachers.  "They did very well."

"They did, and having another thief there to watch them and to prove that they're more than good bodies with small minds behind them was a brilliant move," the planning teacher agreed happily.  "I'm sure Fujiko is now regretting her words."

"Oh, not really," she said dryly. "She's still not seeing the point that girls can do more than be pretty."  She sneered at them.  "We must shield them better from her.  She's still ranting that they're girls and that they should only be doing her sort of thefts.  Arsene has seen and countered a few times, but it is up to us to point out their faults and points."

They nodded, going to do evaluations.  They usually only did them on graduating seniors, but those four might as well be gone.  They only had to pass Practical Education and Art Appreciation.

The Headmistress smiled at her new jewelry as she carried it up to the office, calling on her appraisal teacher to come examine them and to arrange for a sale.  Those children were very good and very generous. This would definitely fix the heating system in the school.

***

Xander smiled at the old car coming up to the house, nodding politely at the mechanic.  He'd talked with him in the past about the Roadster and his bike, which Ishi still had at the school.  "Hi.  It's one of my creations this time.  It's got some modifications and I've got to take the alarm off and discharge the taser."  He nodded, watching as Xander undid the alarm, then discharged the taser into a tree.  "There you go," he offered, popping the hood.  "All yours.  I can answer any questions about funny stuff."

"That's fine.  What make is this one?  I've never quite seen this type before."

"It's a Fiat Spider Volumex, four seater.  It's a rare one.  They only made five hundred of them and it's rare to find one with four seats.  I've only found three online after I found this one.   The other's in the garage.  It's a 1982 Fiat Spider CS, four seater also. Four seaters are really rare from Fiat.  Then again, I've got three cars in a separate garage in town too," he said with a small grin.  "A 1932 Bugatti roadster, a 1937 Bugatti, and one of my usual little sports cars."  The mechanic looked impressed.  "Do you think you can look at the '32 too?  It sounds like it's really tired and dragging."

"Sure, let me fix this one first," he agreed.  "Let me guess, Lupin doesn't know about them?"  Xander shook his head quickly, looking a bit embarrassed.  "Your secret's safe with me, Xander."

Xander walked over and took the mask off the mechanic, frowning at him.  "Cute, Ray.  Lupin, it's Ray!"

"You're showing me that garage later," Lupin called as he came out to grab Ray.  "The mechanic's on his way up."  He smirked at him.  "I've rebuilt one of those."

"Yay, I still want a mechanic to look at it," he said smugly.  "Mine."

"Wanna go for a ride?"

"No!  They're showpieces!"

"Fine."  He walked Ray into the house, handing him to Goemon to deal with this time.  He'd just have to find the garage by himself and go look.  Xander had some very good taste in cars.

Xander sighed and sat down, nodding at the real mechanic.  "Did he knock you out?"

"Put me in a closet," he admitted tiredly.  "What's it doing?"

"Sounds like it's grinding and guzzles oil.  I've discharged the taser so you've got about two hours before I've got to do it again."

"That's fine, Lavelle.  How's the other one?  I know you were looking for a new sports car last month."

"I've got a '32 Bugatti roadster that sounds tired if you're not busy later," he offered.  "Right after I go knock out Lupin again."

The mechanic smiled.  "Sure, Lavelle.  Let me fix this one.  One of your creations?"  He nodded, smirking at him.  "That's fine.  Stay nearby, kid."  He looked in the engine, then at him.  "What's that?"

"Which?" he asked, coming over to check.  "That's the taser.  It's been fine since we got it to work finally last year, but it's been guzzling oil for the last few months according to Melissa.  She's been driving it at school."

"You let her drive such a rare car?"

"It was that or they were going to take the roadster and piss off Lupin."  He smirked.  "Besides, she helped me build the modifications.  She was using it to show off to her teachers."

"I see.  That's fine, let me tear this open.  How do we disarm the taser?"

"We don't," he admitted.  "It's now soldered in since it wasn't making good contact.  That's how they ended up fixing it."

"Uh-huh.  Okay.  Go sit.  Don't let me get electrocuted."  He dove back in, finding the problem easily enough.  He even had the parts for it back at the shop.  "I'll need to drive it in."

"Sure.  Want me to discharge it again or should I go with you?"

"No, you can come with me.  You know where it is well enough. How's the other Fiat?"

"Doing well.  I need to make more missiles for them both actually."  He got up, letting the mechanic close the hood before going back to his own car.  He followed the nice older guy off the property and down into town, stopping on the way to electrocute a mean store that had tried to kick him out the other night.  It set their security system off nicely and made them very paranoid.  He drove it into the garage, smirking at the older man.  "What?" he asked innocently.

"They figured you'd retaliate somehow," he admitted.  "Go get your roadster so I can look at it too."  Xander nodded, going to do that.  It was only up the street.  He shook his head, that boy was something else.

***

Lupin pounced Xander as he came back, hugging him as he walked him toward the office.  "We want to look at your collections, Xander."

"Then you might steal from me," he said patiently.  "You can't have my cars!"

"I'll buy them off you," he offered sweetly.

"No."

"Oh, come on.  Can't we even *look*?"

"Hell no!" he snorted, getting free and heading for the kitchen instead.  "My cars, like my kimonos, are not for sale or rent or touching.  Mine and only mine."

"You let me wear a few of them," Goemon offered from his spot making iced tea.

"Maybe, but you still can't see my cars."

"Fine.  I have no interest in automobiles.  Is the Fiat fixed?"  Xander nodded, heading outside after grabbing a soda.  "The children are napping."

"That doesn't keep me from needing to keep in shape, Goemon."

"Good point," he agreed.  The boy was an excellent student and role model for his children in that matter.  He took Lupin some of the tea, watching him pout.  "Why does this surprise you?"

"It doesn't, not really.  I'm wondering if he stole them or if they were bought?"

"Probably bought.  Something like that would be noted fairly quickly if stolen.  Like your roadster."  He went to give Jigen some of the tea.  "Xander's back."

"That's fine.  What's Lupin pouting about now?"

"Xander apparently has a few classic cars hidden somewhere nearby."

"Hmm.  The roadster acting up again?"

"You've seen them?" Lupin yelled, walking into the room to frown at him.  "You didn't tell me about those, Jigen."

"I saw him driving one and it sounded like it had engine troubles," he said patiently.  "Xander looked really happy with it too."  He shrugged, smirking at him.  "They're in town, boss."

"Yay!  Xander said I can't even look at them."

"That's because he fears you'll steal them," Goemon reminded him.  "If you would not do such things to his collections, he would not care to let you drool on them I'm sure."

"It'd ruin the wax job," Xander called from the kitchen.  "No!"  He went back outside, slamming the door this time.

"So, Jigen, where are they?" Lupin asked.  Jigen gave him a look from under his hat, going back to petting the cat using him as a pillow.  "Oh, come on, Jigen!  I'm being good!  I just wanna see!"

"No, that's not how you earn his trust," Jigen reminded him.  Lupin started to pout.  "He won't let you see it if he won't let you see it.  If we get him back, he'll tell us about them I'm sure.  Until then, I'm not breaking his trust that way.  He'll leave again."

"Fine," he complained, heading outside to pout at the person responsible.  "I only wanna look," he offered.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?  I'll give you part of a job I'm going on tonight."

"No."

"Oh, come on, Xander!"

"You're whining and the answer is still no."  Xander stretched in the other direction.

"I swear, I'm not going to steal it, borrow it, or beg to drive it.  I only wanna look.  Please?  Just for a minute?  I'll even help you wax them next time.  Or help you build missiles for the Fiats.  Please?"

"You're all but doing the pee-pee dance, do you realize this?" Xander asked with a small smirk.  "No."

"Why not?"

Xander gave him a long look.  "Because I know you, Lupin.  You'll look, then you'll wanna touch, then you'll wanna drive, and then we'll get photo'd in it and Gramp's be putting out an APB on my totally legitimate car, which means I can't drive it ever again.  I don't want to own cars I can't drive."

"I promise, I won't drive it.  I won't touch it.  I may sit in the seat and wiggle, but I'm not going to pressure you to drive it, Xander.  Besides, we can hold Ray hostage against that sort of thing.  Please?"  He saw Xander wobble, he was wearing him down.  "Just for a moment?  We've got to go get liquor anyway."

"Yeah, well, I tasered the store on the way up since they pissed me off the other night.  It might not be a good day for that, Lupin."  He turned around to face the other direction, stretching some more.

Lupin walked up behind him, putting his chin on his buddy's shoulder.  "I only wanna look, Xander," he said quietly.  "It's like an obsession.  You've seen my collection.  I've seen some of yours.  I just wanna see.  It's one of those neat things we have in common.  I promise I won't try to bribe you to let me drive it. I won't take it out of the garage if you don't want me to.  All I want to do is look."

Xander turned, looking him in the eyes.  "Thieves' Honor?"

"Thieves' Honor," Lupin swore, holding up a hand.  "I like old cars.  I always have.  Those are really rare and really pretty.  Like the roadster.  Can we go now?"

"Go to the bathroom first, before you wet yourself," he said patiently.  Lupin ran into the house, leaving Xander to looked up and shake his head.  "He's like a big kid sometimes," he sighed, heading out to get into the Fiat and drive it back into town.  "Heading out to get liquor."

"Can I see too?" Jigen called.

"Sure."

Jigen came out brushing cat hair off as he walked, letting Lupin get the passenger's seat this time.  Xander slid in to drive, still shaking his head.  "What still needs done on this one?"

"More missiles," Xander admitted.  "I've got the stuff in the lab."  He started the engine and drove around the driveway, heading back into town.  When he got there, the garage was on fire, but it was the top levels.  "Shit!"  He jumped out and headed for the garage, pulling out his keys for the padlock.  The other two were right behind him.  They got inside and the cars started without much trouble, taking them outside to safety.  Xander rushed back in for two boxes and a bag, then tossed them into the trunk of the Fiat.  They stood there and watched as the fire department pulled up and went to work.  Xander gave one a miserable look. "It's a good thing Lupin begged and pleaded, huh?"

"Was there gas or anything downstairs, Lavelle?"

"No.  No gas.  Maybe some oil.  I did an oil change last week but I got rid of the old stuff.  There may have been a bottle or two left over of new though."  He looked up and sighed as the roof caved in.  "I liked that apartment."

"I know you did.  Have you gotten any threats recently?"

"No.  Almost no one knew I lived there."  He looked at the owner of the liquor store.  "Of course, he kicked me out a few days ago so I tasered his store on the way in," he offered.  "Set off their alarm system."  The fireman nodded, making note of that.  "Is anything going to be saveable?"

"Probably not," he admitted. "You're sure there's no gas?"

"No.  There were a few blocks of C-4 upstairs, but they should only melt."  He looked at his cars.  "Lupin's going to be bugging me for days to drive them."

"You're going to have to get them home anyway," he offered gently.  He patted him on the back.  "We'll do what we can, Lavelle.  Thank you for getting those out of there.  I'm sure your insurance company will be thankful too.  You might want to move the Fiat first though."

"Alarm system's on," Xander yelled before anyone could touch that car.  Lupin and Jigen both let him handle it.  He frowned at them.  "Fine.  Take them home.  We'll have to deal with the extra one in a few minutes, and the other Bugatti in the garage."

"Fine," Lupin agreed happily.  "I promise, Pops won't take pictures of them.  If he does, we won't give back Ray."  He cackled as he went to drive the Bugatti and Jigen got the Austin Healy.  Xander parked the Fiat out of the way and watched as the garage finished dying.  He looked at the mechanic when he joined him.  "How's the other baby?"

"Just fine.  I've found the parts you'll need and they should be in within a week.  Hopefully those two won't crash your cars."

"They'd better not.  Otherwise I'm piercing Lupin's tongue and making him use the piercing to pull out any and all dents."  The mechanic chuckled, patting him on the back.  "Tell me when it's ready please."

"Sure, Lavelle."  He walked off.

Xander took off the shirt and put the bug onto the ground, then moved both cars farther off so it couldn't accidentally stick to them.  He knew how hard it was to find parts so he knew it was going to be more than a few days.  Probably more like a few months.  He'd have to get Zenigata for that later. The shirt got tossed onto the fire and Xander went to do the usual liquor run, weathering the dirty looks and the few customers who gave him pitying looks.  "It's fine," he offered.  "They were saved.  Lupin was pouting and whining so it was a good thing I gave in."  He heard someone scream and looked outside, smirking at the lightbulb that was now Zenigata's head.  "Huh.  He should know that thing has a security system on it by now."  He went back to get more bottles.  They were all heavy drinkers and they only came into town once a week for this stuff.  The owner put them into an old box, letting Xander pick out a bottle of wine as well, then took his money and shooed him out.

Xander put the liquor in the backseat of the remaining classic car, then smirked at Zenigata.  "Problems, Gramps?  By the way, it usually takes months to find parts for a car that old, unless you know someone who machines them.  Since this isn't a machinable part issue, it's going to be months, not days."  Zenigata mumbled something before falling onto the ground.  "You knew I had a security system.  Pity.  By the way, Ray tried the same thing so he's presently locked in a room with Fred.  We'll release him when he begs and cries.  Do not tempt Lupin to use my cars, I'd get upset."  He stared down at the man, making him whimper.  "Good, I'm glad we came to an understanding.  I restored them, I bought them, they're legitimate.  Get over it."

Lupin came back in his roadster, with Jigen driving that one.  He got into the Fiat, since he was the only one who could turn off the security system on this one, while Lupin got the other car.  "Thanks, Xander," Lupin called, driving off.

Xander shook his head.  "Just like a little kid at the holidays," he sighed, getting in and driving off, leaving one toasty inspector lying on the ground.

Jigen paused beside the body.  "You okay, Pops?  We can call you an ambulance if you want."  The cop glared at him as he tried to move.  "That's fine.  Make sure the mechanic's not hurt.  He's the only guy Xan lets deal with his bike."  He sped off, heading after the lunatic and the collector.   He'd have to ask later, see what else Xander collected.  Comics and anime, kimonos, gems, and now classic cars?  Interesting but not really tied together.  He pulled up outside the house, noticing that Marcus and Goemon were erecting a tent over Xander's cars, apparently the garage was full.  He got out, parking the roadster back in its spot, then went to help them.  Xander had the liquor sitting on the hood of the Fiat and was checking over his babies to make sure they hadn't scratched them. Jigen almost grabbed the bottles, but he wasn't sure the security system was off again.  "Xander?  System down?"

"Yeah.  Should be," he said absently.

Jigen looked at Goemon, who used his scabbard to move the box so Jigen could get a hand under one side.  It came off and he wasn't electrocuted, so it was all good to him.  He carried it inside, wondering why Xander had gotten red wine.  "Are we having Chinese tonight?" he called as he walked.

"Yes," Xander called.  "Otherwise I'll have to cook."

"I'll buy you anything you want," Lupin said in a dozy voice, clearly happy and about ready to get off from the new cars.  "Xander, if I asked, would you marry me?"

"Hell no.  Tried that, you ignored me then too after I got pregnant."  He walked off shaking his head, taking Goemon and Marcus with him.  "Come on.  He's gonna be a while.  If there's stains on my cars, you're licking them off and then redoing the whole wax job, Lupin."

"Fine," he agreed, waving at them.  He hugged the hood of one of them, smiling happily.  This just made him want Xander more since they appreciated the same finer things in life.

***

Alan got out of the cab, looking at the tent and shaking his head.  "Poor man."  He walked up to the door and knocked, smirking at Jigen.  "Did Lupin steal more cars?  Or is his collection growing?  I swear I've never seen a collection like his."

"No, the new three are Xander's.  Obviously you've never seen his comic, kimono, or jewelry collection," he said dryly, letting him inside.  "Collector boy's out back working out."

"Thanks, Jigen.  He collects things?"  Jigen nodded, leading him to the storage area so he could see.  Alan hissed then shook his head.  "Xander?"

"Xander's anime collection.  Mostly just the porn. He's got the other stuff upstairs."  He led him to the back door, letting him go pounce his man.

"Xander, you collect very pretty things, but isn't that a bit much?" Alan asked patiently.

Xander beamed and shook his head.  "Nope."  He jogged over to hug him, then drug him back to watch him work out.

Lupin looked up from his reading.  "I take it you've never seen his kimono collection or heard how much his personal librarian makes a year?" he asked dryly.

"Personal librarian?"

"Yup, for the comic collection.  It's in a warehouse."  He went back to his reading.  "Xander, can I take the '37 out for a spin around the property?"

"No," he said impatiently.  "I told you that yesterday."

"Fine.  When are you going to release Ray?"

"I told Zenigata we'd release him when Fred made him beg for sanity."  He started on a new kata, making Alan look him over. "Yes, I am stacked," he said proudly.  "Many, many days and nights of this stuff have given me a body that many people drool over."

"You should become a stunt double, Xander.  You'd love it."

"Nah, it's not fun," he said with a grin.  "Besides, I hate being photographed.  Each time they do it, the pictures get worse and worse.  My last one was stupid."

"You're the one who stuck his tongue out at Vecchio," Jigen said from the doorway.  "Speaking of, it's Vecchio," he said, holding out the phone.

Xander caught it when Jigen tossed it, putting it up to his ear. "House of classic sluts."  He listened to the rant.  "Fred hasn't made him beg yet.  He's been being good.  Besides, Ray's liking the warping Fred to the light thing he's got going.  Fred's trying to talk him into being a thief at the same time."  He smirked.  "Sure, Ray.  Ray!"  Ray came to the doorway.  "Vecchio."  He held out the phone and went back to his workout.

"I'm fine.  Fred's trying to get me to be a thief while I make him be a good boy.  Hey, I got the boy to quit trying to suck on Bix and the housekeeper," he said dryly.  "I'm doing good for the universe at this moment."  He snickered.  "Fine.  Xander, am I thoroughly chastised enough?"

"Only if we can wipe out the location of the house," Lupin said from his seat.

"Fine.  Ray said it's my turn to order dinner and to keep Dawnie from exploding in a rage."  He put the phone back up to his ear.  "Sure, Ray.  Give me a day and I'll be back by then.  They've got to block the location of this place."  He listened to the exact address.  "Huh."  He looked at Lupin.  "He knows too."

"If he bugged my cars, I have the right to torture him," Xander said fondly. "You can tell him I said that."

Ray snickered.  "Xander said if you bugged his cars, he's going to torture you.  Sure!"  He hung up.  "He's shredding that before Zenigata finds it.  By the way, Fred's cutting a new tooth again."  He headed up to pack his stuff and kiss Bix, taking the medicine that had been left on his dresser after that first day.  Once it had worked, he headed down to his car, letting someone stop Fred before he got out there.

"No, mine!" Fred yelled, struggling to get down.  "He not leave me!"

"I'm sure you'll seen him soon," Jigen said patiently, waving Ray to go quickly.  He walked the boy out to his father.  "He's gotten attached."

"Ray mine!" Fred complained, glaring at Jigen.  "Meanie!  I shoot you!"  He pointed his finger at him.  "Bang!"

"Stop it," Xander snapped, making Fred curl up and suck his thumb.  "You can see Ray at the next convention and I'm sure he'll be back sometime.  You do not threaten your uncles, no matter what the hell you think is wrong.  Do you understand?"  Fred nodded, looking pathetic.  "Good.  Go to your room and nap.  It's obvious you need one."  Fred got down and trudged off, heading upstairs looking miserable.  "Sorry, but that's a bad habit that needs stopped before he's carrying a weapon full-time," Xander explained.

"No, I agree, it's a bad thing to pout and whine like that," Alan agreed quickly.

"Thanks, Xan," Lupin agreed.  "Good job."

"Thank," Jigen agreed, heading back into the kitchen.

"Xander, when were you going to tell me that you're one of those mad collector types?" Alan asked patiently.

"I thought you knew I collected anime, comics, and kimonos."

"I heard you say that you had a few of them, not that you're *collecting* them in mass numbers.  How many cars do you have?"

"Well, let's see.  The Fiats were a challenge, a new design.  They're going to Melissa once she graduates.  The bike that Ishi's stolen is mine.  I've got those three and one other one.  The Jetta in England, which is my baby.  Not that many."  He shrugged and grinned at him.

"Hmm.  How many comics do you think you have?"

"Um, last note from the librarian shaped-person was close to six thousand.  I collect in a few different titles," he assured him.  "Back issues as far back as I can go and all that.  In Marvel alone I collect in ten titles, plus all the X-Men stuff and spinoffs."  Alan blinked.  "I know people who're worse.  Just ask Lupin."  Alan looked at Lupin, who nodded. "See? I'm perfectly normal.  Speaking of, there's a con next week.  Wanna go with me?  You won't have to dress up at all, but you'd make a cute Jedi," he offered with a cute grin.

Alan mentally shuddered.  "Dear, I've only got the weekend off," he pointed out gently.  "Then I'm back to taping for the next three weeks straight."

"Shoot.  I wanted to show you off," he pouted.

Alan got up to hug him.  Xander was like a little kid some days.  He could do pitiful very well.  "Maybe next time, Xander. Why did you start collecting cars?"

"They were pretty and it gave me something to do in my free time."

"Oh.  So you restored them?"

"Three of the four classic cars.  One of the Bugattis was already restored.  I only keep it shiny."  Alan sighed, shaking his head, so Xander kissed him, making him moan instead.  "It's not really a collection, just a bunch of stuff that I was working on in my free time before we had kids."

"Can I buy the '37 and the Austin Healy off you then?" Lupin asked, looking hopeful.

"Since when did you have cash?" Xander asked.

Lupin frowned, thinking fast.  "I can do that.  Blue book value?"

"Insurance estimated value," Xander countered. Lupin shrugged.  "Fine. It's not like it's a serious collection for me.  They do not go on jobs though."

"Fine," Lupin agreed happily, picking up the phone to call Murami.  "I'm adding to the car collection," he said happily.  "Can you pull Xan's insurance on his '37 Bugatti and the Austin Healy so I know how much I've got to fence?"  He grinned, then blinked a few times.  "Excuse me?"  He listened, then sighed.  "Sure, why didn't they cover it?  Fine, I'll talk to her later.  She can pay me back.  No, they've got plenty," he said dryly.  "No, there's a kid there at the Academy who's been helping until their formal debut.  No, Wyatt?  Out of Chicago?  Him, yeah.  Sure.  Thanks for the warning."  He hung up and dialed the school.  "Tell Melissa that she forgot to pay paychecks and she's to call her father and I about her collection habits.  She's nearly as bad as her mother."  He hung up, frowning at Xander.  "See what you started?  They forgot to pay their pilot's salary."

"They have a pilot?" Xander asked, looking confused.  "I thought Arsene was planning for a future plane purchase when she had me looking over the auction."

Lupin shook his head with a sigh.  "What did she get, Xander?  And when?"

"Back when she got the cruise ship," he said honestly.  Lupin's hand drifted up to pinch the bridge of his nose.  "Sorry, but they used that to rescue you that time."  Lupin held up a hand to stop him.  "Sorry, Lupin."  He smirked at Alan as he hauled him up and took him on a walk of the woods.  "How's taping going?"

"Very well," he admitted, smirking at him.  "You're so bad."

"Well, yeah, but they have no idea what the kids have added to both empires."  He stole a kiss.  "There, I'm a happy Xander now."

Alan smiled at him, even though he wanted to sigh.  Xander was such a little kid some days.

"XANDER!" Jigen yelled.  "House, now!"

"Coming!"

"No, dear, that's later," Alan assured him sweetly.  They turned, heading back to the house.  "Did Lupin have a stroke?"

"No, not yet," he admitted grimly, letting them inside.  "The kids are collecting things?"

"Arsene's got a few DVD's, but I think she wants my porn collection really," he admitted.  "The Fiat's are Melissa's, as are half the stuff in the lab that works when she graduates and they do their coming out job.  Ishi's got his anime collection.  I don't think Lotus collects at all at the moment."

Jigen swatted him.  "I'm talking about big things, like the cruise ship. She didn't rent that?"

"No, that was bought when she was nine.  It was a mutual decision from a haul.  Then she's been slowly renovating it.  It's really pretty."  He grinned.  "The airplane was a future purchase as far as I knew, Jigen."

"Sure it was, Xander," Jigen said, staring him down.  "What else?"  Xander shrugged.  "Cars?  Apartments?"

"They are using one of my apartments and I told them they could have the house in London, not the big trio of houses together, but the actual house-house in London.  It's by the zoo and the big park."

The phone rang and Jigen dove for it, growling at the child on the other end.  "Melissa, what other major purchases have you kids bought?"

***

Melissa looked at the phone Lotus was holding out.  "Which parent?"

"Yours and he was growling."

"Wonderful," she said dryly.  "Hi, daddy," she said as she took it.  She grinned at his continued growling.  "What's wrong?"  She looked at her computer.  "Shit, sorry, I'll correct that tonight."  She winced as he started to yell. "It's practical and we all got together to do it with a few hauls," she offered weakly.  She winced again, moving the phone away from her ear.  "Yes, daddy.  We'll do a financial disclosure with Auntie Murami this holiday," she promised.  "Thanks, daddy.  No, just those two."  She winced a third time and rubbed her ear as she switched sides.  "No, honestly.  I don't know about any others.  I'll ask Arsene.  Sure, daddy.  Love you too.  Watch your blood pressure."  She hung up quickly before he could start again.  "Damn it.  Go get Wyatt.  He forgot to pay Cecilia."  Lotus nodded, going to find their money manager.  "Fuck me," she complained, opening up her laptop to take care of that payment.  She sent it to Murami, who would either forward it to Cecilia or to Lupin if he paid her for them.  She checked on the status of everything else while she was in there, noticing there were a few investments she really didn't agree with.  She'd be yelling at Wyatt later for more than one reason apparently.   She text messaged Lupin, warning her not to answer her phone for a bit.  Just in case her father called to whine too.

***

Alan looked at the lists Xander had opened up on his computer, then back at his lover.  "Are you addicted?" he asked finally.

"No.  I haven't bought any new anime or anything in a while.  I bought a few when I replaced Ishi's broken one but they're new ones in a series I already have."  He grinned at him.  "It's not an addiction, Alan.  We went through this with Lupin a few years back.  Then I took him to a convention and he started to enjoy it too."

"Ah, then it's a cult," he said wisely, glaring at his boyfriend.  "Xander, you've tied up an extremely large amount of money in things that can easily be destroyed."

"They're all insured.  So are the houses, but three apartments."  Alan blinked.  "That's under the stuff you didn't want to know about the life."

"You have more than the house in London, the one you gave the kids, and the manor house?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"Jobs.  Storage areas, emergency locations and supplies.  Most of them were taken over by the guy who I'm letting run things while I'm slowing down.  You met Bastian at the hospital."

"I remember him.  He seemed very nice.  Is he a thief too?"

"Former spy."

"Ah."  He nodded slowly.  "And the reason for the large collection of kimonos?"

"I like them.  They're neat, I like wearing them.  They're handy to have when you need to change personas."  Alan moaned.  "Sorry.  I'll drop the subject now if you will."

Alan gave him a gentle kiss. "You know they make drugs for those who over-collect, correct?" he asked gently.  Xander frowned at him.  "You've got stuff that you can't hope to sell, Xander.  Not if they know who you are."

"Actually, plenty of people like my collection and don't care who I am.  Besides, I've got a different identity for those things," he admitted.  "Not to mention my real one."

"Fine, dear, you know what you're doing.  Are they like a hard asset retirement fund?"

"No, but the kids may keep them when I die."

"Fine.  I'll not bother you about your collections again."

"Wanna see the comic one?"

"No, that's fine, Xander.  That'd be a very long list."  He kissed him again, making Xander forget all about this conversation.  Though he'd be watching him for more collecting habits.  This was probably not healthy for the boy or for his future solvency.  Though, if he could sell it, he'd be quite rich.  He shook that thought off.  He didn't care if Xander was poor or rich, he was Xander.

"Quit thinking," Xander whispered in his ear.  "Before I have to nip and bite."  He nipped the earlobe he was whispering into, making Alan shiver.  "Now, if you're a good boy and can be quiet, we can have a lot of fun."

Alan moaned and let Xander lay him back on the bed, going with whatever he wanted to do.  The man was addictive.  Xander chuckled as he kissed down his chest, making Alan smile at that.  He knew where Xander was heading.  He loved his very oral boyfriend and all his little quirks, like how he slurped while he was giving him a blow.   He arched up into the talented mouth, biting on his hand to keep himself from howling in pleasure.

"You might as well let it go, we don't mind this time," Lupin called as he walked down the hall.  "Xander's louder than anyone ever created."

"Were you watching?" he called.

"No, but I remember those noises and that's how Xander redirects any fights," Lupin assured him.  "Remember to lock the door so Fred can't get in, and have fun."  They heard his door slam.

"Have I ever mentioned how odd it is to have sex in your ex's house?" Alan said conversationally.

Xander looked up at him and shrugged, then went back to what he was doing, which was to make Alan scream in pleasure and forget there had ever been any sort of fight.  It only took two hours and by then Alan was begging to be allowed to sleep or die.  Xander was very good.

***

Sarah smiled as Alan wandered into breakfast the next morning and flopped down, head going into his plate.  "Mr. Alan, will you play with us later today?" she asked sweetly.

"Sure, kid.  Let me recover first," he groaned, lifting his head long enough to sight the juice.  "Can you push the juice this way?"

Jigen came in with a plate of bacon and poured it for him, nudging him to take it.  "You'll want at least two and some meat.  Trust me," he said grimly.  "Feel thankful he's not female at the moment.  It's worse to satisfy him then."

"Dear Lord, he can get *worse*?" Alan asked, looking horrified.  "The man wore me out last night and I've slept seven hours and I'm still tired, and he gets worse?"

Jigen nodded, smirking at him. "Often.  He was being playful.  Lupin's had some weeks where he couldn't walk after topping him."  He sat down, handing Sarah some bacon.  "There you are, princess."

"Thank you, daddy," she said happily, biting into the first piece. "Maybe he should go back to bed."

"He can nap in a bit.  Let's let him eat first, then he can nap.  He needs to eat."

"Yes, I do," Alan agreed, digging into his food.  He managed to get down a plate of food and three glasses of juice before asking the important question.  "Was he holding back on our first time?"  Jigen nodded.  "Why?"

"So he didn't scare you off," he said wisely.  "Remember we're talking about the guy who has to pay extra at the whorehouses he used to visit because he wore the girls and guys out too much."

"No wonder he had to have two of you."

Jigen smirked.  "No, Lupin was enough for him. He's a bit hyper.  I can't top Xander when he's a guy.  I can't...." He let that trail off.

Alan patted him on the hand. "I've seen it before.  Sometimes you can get past it, sometimes you can't.   For some, the knowledge that their lover is going to leave them for good is enough to start working on it.  For some, they'll never be able to get over it."  He shrugged.  "I guess I'm lucky though."

"You are," Jigen agreed.  "That's why I'll hunt you down and kill you horribly if you hurt him."

"Good to know," he agreed with a light smile.  "Now, I believe Miss Sarah wanted to play.  What did you want to play, sweetness?"  They looked over when she didn't answer, noticing she was asleep.  "Is she all right?" he asked when Jigen got up to check her over.

"Maybe.  I hope so."  He hit the button the wall, which summoned Lupin from the office.  "She fell asleep on her plate.  Get Xan to call that healer back."

Lupin turned and ran up the stairs.  "Xander!" he yelled.  "Call the kitsune healer.  Sarah's collapsed over her breakfast."

Xander came out of his bedroom in his boxers, the Lord of the Kitsune already disappearing behind him.  He rushed down to check on his baby.  "Sarah, it's mommy, can you hear me?" he whispered in her ear.  She batted at him with a moan.  "It's all right, sweetheart, the healer's on his way.  We'll make you feel all better."  He kissed her on the back of the head, lifting her up to carry her toward a couch.  He had gotten her comfortable when the healer came rushing in, and got out of his way without a question.  "Is she okay?" he asked.  "She collapsed over breakfast."

"The valve problem was getting better the last time she was up there," the healer said, frowning at her.  "Okay.  I'm going to take her up there.  It may be that she's so attuned, being down here is making her weak."  He looked at the worried parents.  "Jigen, coming?"  He nodded, taking the girl and the healer's hand to go with him.

Xander rushed up the stairs to put on clothes, rushing off to help if he could.  He got there and found his daughter giggling and playing.  He looked at Jigen, who was frowning.  "She's fine now?"

"Absolutely perfect.  No heart problem, no weakness, nothing," Jigen said glumly.  He and Xander held one of their silent conversations.  "She'll have to," he agreed, looking at the healer.

"I agree," the Lord said from behind them.  "She'll be staying with me of course," he offered when Xander looked back at him.  "You missed a fashion step, Xander," he noted, nodding at his unbuttoned shirt.  Xander buttoned it while he went to talk to Sarah.  She grinned up at him.  "Sarah, you realize that you're stronger up here, correct?"  She nodded, giving him a trusting and loving look.  "Well, we've always planned on you coming up to stay with us as an ambassador to the criminals like your Uncle Lupin and since you're stronger up here we think you should come up here to live all the time."

"We don't want to, but we don't want to see you sick," Jigen assured her.  "We'll be up all the time."

"Daddy?" she asked, looking at him.  "I live up here and wear pretty clothes and be with my friends?"

"Yes, princess, you'd get to do all those things," Xander promised, coming in to hug her.  "I promise, you'll have the prettiest of kimonos and stuff like that.  You're our most special daughter, but we hate that you're sick all the time."

She kissed him on the cheek like he did her.  "I'm not mad, daddy.  You visit all the time?"  He nodded, tearing up.  "Then I stay up here if I can."  She looked at the Lord.  "May I stay up here with you?"

"Yes, I think it's for the best," he agreed, stroking over her hair.  "Xander, I'm going to assign your usual maid to be her guardian," he said gently.   Xander looked up at him.  "I swear, Xander, she'll be protected like my own.  The Incubus we have here will say the same thing."

"He reads to me too," Sarah offered.

Xander nodded.  "Then we can do that.  Give us a few hours to pack up her room and tell Fred."

"Fred help you move stuff up, it'll help him," she offered.  "Besides, he come up to see me too.  We can do the mirror thingy like Lotus."

"We can," the Lord agreed with a small smile for her.  It was obvious she knew this was coming and hand planned for it.  "Do you have anything hidden down there?"

"No, I've got boxes in my closet though.  I'll need those," she said seriously.  "I had Lotus help me find them."

"Sure, kiddo," Jigen agreed, giving her a hug.  "We'll be up later with your stuff and we'll move the mirror to the study since someone's usually in there.  Expect to hear from us all the time and for us to come up nearly as often."  She nodded, hugging him again.  Then she hugged Xander and went back to playing.  She had missed playing.

"I'll have someone come help," the Lord said quietly, leading them back to the manor house through the portal Xander had set up years ago.  "Lupin," he said, nodding to him.  "She's coming up permanently."

"That's fine," he agreed weakly.  "She's fine?"

"She's playing and laughing and happy," Xander said miserably.  "She's still too young."

"She'll be *fine*, Xander.  Much better than she was down here," the Lord of the Kitsune reminded him, patting him on the back.  "Now, go pack her pretty things.  I know she had Lotus help her steal a kimono recently.  I'll be back in a few hours."  He disappeared, going to arrange things for her.  Starting with her maid/guardian.  He found the kitsune he wanted in the garden and motioned her over. "Sarah is now up here permanently.  You will take care of her as you did her mother."

"Yes, Lord," she said immediately.  "Is she in your suite?  Should I prepare the family's suite for her?"

"She's still very young, we'll leave her with me for now.  They're bringing up her things so help her rearrange her room later.  We'll work out everything else over the next few days."  She bowed and hurried to do that for him.  He went to find the demonic ambassador, stopping him in the halls.  "Sarah is up for good," he said quietly, glancing around.  "She'll be part of my family.  I've sworn that you'd help protect her."

"Of course," he agreed immediately.  "You have my sworn word, I shall protect her, even from the elves if necessary."  The fox spirit smirked at that but nodded to show he accepted.  "Is she in your rooms?"  He nodded again. "That's fine, I'll pop around tonight to read to her, then see if I can distract her when the newness starts to wear off."

"She's been planning this," the fox admitted.  "She knew it was coming and she's arranged things for herself.  Including stealing some kimonos."

"Very well then," he agreed happily. "I'll still pop around tonight."  He bowed and walked off, going to report that to his Lord and Master. That was something he'd want to know.

***

Xander and Jigen looked at the boxes, then burst out laughing.  Sarah had wanted a few kimonos, she had apparently talked someone into helping her steal some.  She had a good collection going.  "I'll give her some of mine when she's old enough to wear them," he promised, making Jigen smile and nod.  "Hey, she's only on another plane.  We can always go see her and talk to her.  She's happy, she's playing, she's healthy like she hasn't been in years.  We've got to be happy for her."

"I am, but I'm sad.  She's too young."

"Agreed," Xander offered, hugging him gently.  "She'll be fine and we'll be nosy parents all the time," he promised quietly.  Jigen nodded, relaxing against his chest.  "Now, let's get our princess packed up and see if there's anything we should send."

"Chocolate and nuts," Jigen reminded him.  He wrote it on the list he was making for her first care package.  He planned on having something left out so he'd have to send it up in the next few days.  It might be pathetic but at least he'd be assured she was settling in well.  He helped Xander pack up the clothes in her dresser.  "She'll need new stuff soon."

"We can easily borrow her to buy some fun clothes," Xander reminded him with a grin.  "Plus underwear."

"Yeah, and her first real bra," Jigen sighed.  "That's only in another six years."

"We'll work it out, Jigen.  Even if we die, she's got people to watch out for her and Lotus goes up there all the time too for lessons."  Jigen nodded, allowing himself to calm down again.  "You know, I feel like I should be bawling and I'm not.  I'm the calm one."

"Yeah, but you'll do it later," Jigen reminded him. "Alan'll go back to work all damp."

"He'll dry out on the flight," Lupin said from the doorway, handing over a couple of shopping bags.  "The next few sizes so she's not stuck before we can take her shopping," he explained.   He smiled at the pile of kimonos.  "Those are new?"

"Yeah, she said she had Lotus help her steal them," Jigen said with a weak grin.  "Thanks, Lupin."

"Put 'em in her closet, Jigen," Lupin offered.  Jigen nodded, stuffing them inside. "Where's the mirror going?"

"The study," Xander told him.  "There's usually someone in there.  Either there or in the tv room, but it's more open and the study won't have people nosing around in there."

"Good point."  He went to take the mirror from Lotus' room and put it down in his study, turning a chair so it was facing it.  He decided the mirror was too high so he found a small stand and a table, putting it on there instead.  Now they had a good spot to talk to their daughter.  He sat down to do the hard thing, calling the other kids, then Ray.  He decided to call Ray first, getting a sleepy, grumpy Vecchio instead.  "It's me.  Tell him Sarah went to live with the kitsune."  He leaned back in his chair.  "No, she was able to play and laugh and be a normal little girl.  They took her after she collapsed this morning.  So, no, Xander won't be a happy person for a long time.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and called Ishi, he was usually up by then. "Ishi, where's everyone?" he asked gently.  "No, I need to talk to the group.  Sarah.  No, son, not dead.  She's with the kistune for good though.  She collapsed this morning and once she got up there she was like a normal little girl.  Yeah, I know Melissa'd want to know at the least.  Thanks, Ishi.  Yeah, he's nearly in tears.  No, we'll handle it.  Alan's up for the weekend. Just let them cry on you."  He hung up and went up to help and tell them they didn't have to call the kids.

***

Ishi walked into the breakfast and sat down, looking at everyone. "Put down the forks," he ordered quietly, leaning on the table.  He looked at Melissa once hers was down.  "Sarah collapsed over breakfast. She's fine.  She's with the kitsune playing, laughing, and happy," he said gently.  She broke out in a sob.  "She's happy, 'Lis.  She's healthy like she hasn't been in years.  We'll be able to see her.  I'm sure of it."

"I can get you up there, not a problem," Lotus agreed calmly. "She's better?"

"Much better.  She's playing.  Uncle Lupin said she's playing."  Melissa nodded, wiping off her eyes.  "She's better up there, 'Lis.  We understand, and I'm here for you.  Whatever you need."

"Damn it," Lupin complained.  "Why so suddenly?"

"She's linked into the energy up there, Ar," Lotus reminded her.  "It was like pulling her from her native habitat and putting her into a fishtank with another habitat down here.  That's where she's supposed to be."

"She's too damn small to leave home!" Melissa complained.

"She's got guards," Lotus reminded her. "She's got to be living with the big guy and she's got the incubus up there who likes to read to her.  Plus, I'm sure she's got her own personal nanny at the moment.  We can call Bix to find out who that is or you can go up there tonight to talk to her, or even tomorrow."

"We need to send her stuff," Lupin noted quietly.  "Pictures, chocolates, stuff like that."

"We're grounded to the school," Ishi reminded her.  "We can order stuff, have it sent here, and then send it to her.  Or even let Melissa deliver it," he suggested.  She nodded, breaking down again.  "Hey, it's better than it could be.  She could have died, 'Lis.  If she was collapsing like that, there was a chance it was getting worse.  She's better up there.  She's healthy.  She's playing.  She's happy."  She nodded, but continued to cry.

"What's wrong?" the Headmistress asked as she walked up to their table.  "Is your sister all right?  I know she's ill."

"They sent her to live with the kitsune," Ishi said calmly.  He could see the confusion on her face.  "Yes, they're real.  We're the family of the ambassador from the criminal element.  Mom does it."

"Lavelle?" she asked hopefully.  Lotus nodded quickly.  "They're...they're really real?"

"Yup, sure are.  They helped me learn a lot of magic," Lotus offered with a small shrug.  "A good part of Sarah's problem stems from the fact that her energy is warped toward what theirs is.  It's like her natural energy is warped against what's down here.  So it took a small heart condition and made it thousands times worse.  They've been planning on sending her up there to live, but not yet.  She's only six."

"Oh, okay then."  She gave Melissa a hug.  "Order things and send them to her.  I'm sure Lotus can get it to them."  She nodded again.  "Now, calm yourself, dear.  If she's alive, there's always a chance to heal," she reminded her gently.  "One can always get better."

"She's playing and healthy up there according to her dad," Ishi offered.  "This isn't really grief.  Melissa knows she'll see her again."  Melissa got up and walked off.  "Go with her, Lupin."  Arsene nodded, taking her latest bite of sausage with her.  "Sarah is Melissa's little sister," he explained. "She's the nice, sweet one of the family.  Always smiling, always happy.  She's special."

"I understand.  We all had siblings like that.  Give her the time she needs.  Help her order whatever she wants.  I'll give you a shipping address later."  He nodded.  "Thank you, Ishi."  She went back to her seat, looking at the person at the table who might have a clue, the marksmanship teacher.  "Kitsune are real?" she asked quietly.

He coughed and nodded. "Yeah, Lavelle and Sylvia have been ambassadors to them for a while now.  Sarah?"  She nodded.  "She all right?"

"She apparently went up there to be their new ambassador."

"She's a good choice.  She's the one who was petting your shoes during that dinner."

"Ah, her."  She nodded, understanding more now.  She was very sweet and happy. "There shouldn't be any political incidents then."

"They're probably very strict traditionalists, but she was trained by Goemon," he agreed.  "Besides, at her age, allowances will be made for a while longer.  Melissa all right?"

"No, not really.  Sarah's her little sister."

"Then Jigen's got to be torn up.  I'll call him later and ask if he wants to talk to her.  Or let her find ways of wearing out the anger and sadness.  I'd eat, it's going to be a long day. Someone tried to get Lupin's haul last night."

"Yes, I heard we sent another child to the hospital for missing his fingertips from acid burns.  Much nicer than the one with the explosives."

"He'll never crack another safe, but I'm sure he's learned his lesson.  His father won't mind anyway, he wants him to be higher in the food chain."  He ate another bite of breakfast.  "Hmm, how did DeMarllion stay?"

"Political pressure. His father is married to one of my cousins, who pressured the head of the family to have me keep him."

"Pity.  Looks like he's going to be next."

"Pity," she agreed.

***

Arsene looked at Wyatt, frowning at him.  "Wyatt, dear, you're falling down on the job.  Daddy found out about the plane because you forgot to pay Cecilia."  He winced.  "He found out about the ship because of that.  Needless to say, we got chewed a new one.  Melissa's not in a good mood, which is why you get me.  So let's sit down and chat about this new investment strategy, because it looks really risky to me.  Also, we're being ordered that you're going to have to turn over things to Auntie Murami.  She's our financial manager and Daddy ordered, Wyatt, we can't get around that one," she said at his pout.  "Sorry."

"No, it's not your fault.  Do we have Melissa's laptop?"  She nodded, handing it over, already open to the correct page.  "That investment series isn't doing as well as I had hoped anyway. Let me cancel that and sell it off," he offered, doing so.  He had the money deposited back into their main account, that was the only one he had access to.  "Okay, I've put in sell orders on those stocks."  She nodded.  "Can you get me with Murami?"

"Sure, press the pause button for the voice chat," she said dryly.  "Daddy said he was going to lock my ass in an everlasting chastity belt that was magically glued to my skin if we didn't do this."

He nodded.  "That'd be horrible."  He pressed the button.  "Ma'am?  This is Wyatt. I'm here with Lupin the Fourth, ma'am."

"Good," she said, sounding cool and professional.  "I'm looking at their records at the moment, what Melissa forwarded to me on Lupin the Third's orders.  It looks like you've been doing a bit of risky investing, but nothing too high risk or with great amounts of money until this point.  Hopefully that one will sell tonight?"

"The brokerage I use takes orders after hours until eight, eastern US time," he offered calmly.  "I'm sorry if you think I led them down the wrong path, ma'am."

"No, Wyatt, I don't think you did.  Though I do wonder at a few of the draws on the accounts.  Usually we note why each amount is taken out.  You'll soon find most criminals are very paranoid about their money.  The girls are fairly lax about that and Ishi lets me handle most of his money, he always has."  She looked over the information and he noticed that the screen he was looking at was also moving.  "Hmm, looks like they've lost about six thousand dollars.  Not much compared to their actual worth, but still worrisome.  Who's your intern manager?  I think you'd do better with a session of stocks and bonds for a few months.  It might help you attune to the movement of the market."

"I'm doing it with Melissa's Aunt actually," he offered quietly. "I asked her opinion generally speaking and she said it was a bold strategy but not too risky."

"Overall it's not, not until you put in more money this time, Wyatt.  Relax, I'm not going to get you into trouble.  Now, I want you to do a few things.  Arsene, go get him something to drink, dear.  This is going to get boring very quickly."

"Sure, Auntie Money Lady," she joked.  She got up and left them alone, sitting outside the room but taking the sodas Lotus had been bringing up.

"Now then, Wyatt.  Why are you taking their money?" Murami asked quietly.  "Are they not your friends?"

"Yes, but I didn't think they'd mind and I was told I was supposed to be taking fees out," he defended.

"Very well.  I'd say that you've gotten very good at that.  From now on, Wyatt, you're interned to me.  You'll be learning honor, and quickly, or else I will have to report you to the school.  Do we have a clear understanding?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good boy.  Now set the sell order for real, Wyatt.  That is much too risky.  Remember, they're teenagers, they're going to have to live for a very long time on what they're stealing.  Even if they make more, they'll still need this cushion."   He undid what he had done earlier, sending the sell order to the correct people.  He got a confirmation back immediately and the funds were returned, minus the small fee to sell.  "Very good.  Click on the green icon."  He did so and winced as her computer fuzzed up.  "Come see me in Paris, Wyatt.  We'll be talking in a few days.  Correct?"

"Yes, ma'am."  He hung up and opened the door.  "I got confirmation, the money's been returned, minus the small seller's fee.  Most of your assets are in liquid form again.  Your family's manager has invited me up for a chat."

"Sure.  We'll book you on a flight," Melissa offered, giving him a gentle smile.  He nodded, leaving them there.  "We're not mad, Wyatt, we're only disappointed," she assured him.  "It could have been much worse, that's why people look out for these things."

"Nice try though, we'll give you a B for effort," Arsene offered with a small shrug.  "No hard feelings, kid.  Don't worry about it."  He nodded, going back to his room.  "He's fallen in with a very bad crowd," she noted, sipping her soda.

"Murami will straighten him out," Melissa offered quietly. "What did she do?"

"She removed access from your computer.  She'll have to give it back to you soon.  She's also going to be changing all the access codes and everything within the next ten minutes in case he wants to become malicious.  The only thing she can't do is take off the voice print but she'll have his access suspended to fact-finding only.  Taking him off completely requires me or you to call."

"I'll do it in a minute," Melissa agreed.

"Girls," Murami called.  "Get in here."

"Yes, ma'am," they sighed, heading in to talk to her.   They closed the door so no one could eavesdrop.  Hopefully she wouldn't be telling the fathers.

***

Xander looked up as Murami tapped on his door.  "Come on in.  This is Alan, he's my guy," he said with a grin.  He accepted his binder.  "Am I poor again?"

"Not hardly," she admitted, kissing him on the cheek. "I accepted the check from Lupin this morning and put it into your main account, Xander.  I had the titles transferred at that point."  He nodded, going over the pages.  "How are your other ones going?"

"Not as well but I mostly leave them alone," he admitted, grinning up at her.  "Why is this so large? Did we not split it off?"

"I narrowed it back down to five accounts instead of eleven.  With the insurance limit going up, I could safely do that.  That means you can't use your mastercard after next week."  He looked up and nodded again.  "Overall, you're doing okay.  I looked at the other accounts you gave me the listings for, just in case, and they're doing healthy.  You could be doing a bit more with some of them but I know that one's just to pay the insurance on your collections and those three salaries."

"Three?  Librarian, inventor, and who?"

She smirked as she handed over a letter.  "Sent to me by Dawn," she noted dryly.  "He said he's being a babysitter, he should be paid as one."

"I'll get him later," he said with a small shrug.  "How much?"

"Fifty bucks, which when confronted he said you owed him from a poker game anyway."  She sat down beside him, pointing at the few places where she had highlighted numbers.  "Those are worrying to me, Xander.  We've got to do something about a few of those numbers."

"Is he overspending on is collections?" Alan asked quietly.

"No, actually he hasn't used his shopping accounts recently so they're getting too high.  Xander's very good at saving and he's done some wonderfully high-income jobs."  Xander grabbed a velvet box and held it out to her.  "What's this?"

"Your dividends from the comic and anime company," he said with a grin.  "I know you like cash, but I thought you might like these more.  They're worth more too."  She opened the box and gasped.  "I found them at auction and thought you'd look cute in them.  They're worth about ten grand more than the dividends would have been."  He grinned at her.  "That good with you?"

"Yes, Xander, they're wonderful!  Thank you," she said with a genuine smile, kissing him on the cheek.  "You are my most thoughtful client."

"Xander, sucking up to her won't get you better interest," Lupin said as he leaned in the door.  She held up the earrings, making him gasp.  "Wow."

"Dividends.  I saw them on auction and thought she might enjoy them more than the actual cash.  They won't go down in value."

"No, they're wonderful.  I can use them as collateral to repair my flat again."  He gave her a long look.  "It's nothing, dear.  Water damage from upstairs."

"You could always move," Lupin reminded her.  "Don't use those, I'll give you what you need and you can pay me back."

"You're fairly poor after those car payments, Lupin."

"Then I will," Xander promised.  "You said I had to do something with some of that money, so use some and pay me back when you can.  Say four percent interest each year?"

"Xander...are you sure?"

He nodded.  "I am.  Move somewhere nicer, Murami. You deserve to live on the top of a building if you want."  He kissed her on the tip of the nose.  "Now .  What else do I need to work on?"

"Those guys in Japan.  They're getting cocky and slow again."

"I have to pop around on my anime company anyway," he said dryly. "Not an issue.  Anything else?"

"Do we need to talk about adding beneficiaries to your insurance policies?  Or taking ones off?"

"No, I'm good where I am at the moment," Xander offered, pulling his knees up to rest his chin on them.  "I've got ones with the guys and the kids on them and one with Alan on it.  That should have gotten to you already."  She nodded.  "So we'll play it by ear," he offered.

"I don't want it, Xander."

"That's why there's only one.  In case something happens because you're with me. Like an idiot takes you and hurts you because you're dating me.  This one'll pay out to you directly because of that.  That way you wouldn't have to worry about me losing all my money or me being around.   It's good until I die and then for another year."  Alan shook his head.  "It's necessary."

"It is," Lupin agreed, coming in some to look down at him.  "It's also there in case something happens and Xander doesn't get to you in time, Alan.  He's protecting you from some of the dumbasses in the world.   Let him or he'll pout and you won't be walking for weeks this time."

"Fine. I won't protest at this moment, but I will be protesting, Xander.  I don't need it."  Xander kissed him, making him lose that thought.  "What were we talking about?"

"What I can do to you before you've got to leave," Xander suggested with a wicked smirk.

"Dear, I'll have to jump and play on Monday afternoon.  You can't do to me what you did before.  I'll be fired."

"At least you'll be living," Murami offered.  She hugged Xander.  "I'm glad you're happy, Xander.  By the way, the kids wouldn't give me permission to talk to any of you but you about their assets."

"Sure.  Give me a few.  Go deal with the others and come back for me."

"Sure."  She got up with a small chuckle when he pounced Alan, leading Lupin out so he couldn't watch. It was clear he was still obsessed. "Come along, Lupin.  There's a lot we've got to go over.  Jigen?"  He came out of his bedroom.  "Goemon?"  Fujiko came to the doorway.  "Oh, you're back.  No one told me.  I didn't bring up your portfolio, Fujiko. I'm sorry.  If I had known I would have.  I do have Goemon's though, is he not here?"

"He's outside somewhere," she admitted.  "Is he doing okay?"

"He's just fine, Fujiko.  I'll send yours up so you can look it over and we'll talk over the phone about it if you have any questions."  She led Lupin and Jigen down to the office, smirking at them.  "She's back?" she asked quietly.

"Goemon decided to take her back," Jigen said, stretching out on a couch and taking the folder with his investments in it.  "Am I okay?  This looks really large."

"That bond paid off," she admitted.  "It did it about a month early."  He nodded, liking that.  She looked them over.  "Which is probably a good idea since each time I come up here you guys look younger and younger," she noted dryly.

"Ethan," Lupin told her.

"How much is he selling it for?"

"Sixty grand a dose," Jigen admitted.  "There's a shop in Hollywood that's got it."

"Xander's?"  They nodded.  "Then I'm going to think very hard about popping around there."  She sat down behind Lupin's desk.  "How are the children, boys?"

"They're good," Lupin said with a smirk.  "How are they doing financially?"

"They said I can only talk to Xander."

"They're underage."

"Not really.  They signed paperwork with me to name me manager of their finances instead of their parents, which means that you didn't have to worry about saving some of their cuts from jobs for their future wealth.  By the way, you signed those too."  Lupin shook his head so she pulled it out and held it up.  "I'm not sure which one is the forger of the group, but they weren't that skilled at that point.  Still, I don't want to break their trust, Lupin."

"They're not sixteen yet," Jigen noted calmly.

"They've just gotten rid of a guy at the school who was listening to your sister, Jigen.  He was playing a bit risky with their money but they were doing fine for the most part.  He's now my apprentice until I've got him straightened out and send him to Kurt in New York.  Who, by the way, handles the rest of Xander's for him.  He had been going through Philip in England but he got sick so he retired."  Lupin sighed and nodded, that meant some of his had been transferred to.  "I've got those, Lupin.  He called all of us.  We'll go over those in a minute."  He nodded, liking that a bit better.  "Your main account is still nearly gone because you bought those two cars."  Jigen let out a small snicker. "I'm sure Xander only let him buy them because he got pushy."

"Yup," Jigen agreed.  "Pouty and begging."

"I like classic cars," Lupin defended.

"I know you do," she promised.  "Do you want me to loot one of the emergency funds and put it into the main one?"  He nodded, frowning at her.  "Sorry, Lupin."  She gave him a gentle smile, so he grinned back.  "Let's call the kids.  I don't want to break their trust so soon."  They nodded, settling in while she called Melissa's cell and got her voicemail.  "Melissa, it's Murami. Your parents still wish to do a financial disclosure on you kids.  Technically, since you are under sixteen they can force it, but I don't want to do that without you guys hearing it at the same time.  Call us back, we're in the study."  She hung up.  "Her voice mail.  She's got classes today?"

"It's Saturday, she's only doing stuff," Jigen assured her.  "Should we get Goemon?"

"Probably," she agreed, smiling at him.  She waited until they were alone.  "You're mad about something?"

"I don't like the fact that the kids are using you to hide things from us," he agreed.  "It's wrong.  It's one of those things I hate Xander doing too."

"Arsene, he's never going to leave you for good," she said gently.  "Even if he retires, he's still going to be around.  Which I doubt, it looked to me like Alan's getting a new perspective of Xander.  He asked about his collections."

"He wasn't too happy to find out that Xander was some mad collector, his phrasing," Jigen offered as he came back.  "Is Xander doing okay?"

"Just fine.  His businesses are all showing profits," she offered.  The phone rang so she answered it, smiling and putting her on speaking phone.

"We agreed," Melissa admitted.  "The pops can know what we're doing this time, then they get to be nosy and ask us themselves."

"We would, but we figured that you'd hide it like Xander does," Jigen said dryly.  "Which we all hate by the way."

"All you had to do was ask," Arsene complained.  "It's not like we're unwilling to brag."

"Still, empress, we didn't want to have to ask," Lupin reminded her.

"Daddy, I don't ask you how much is in your bank account," Arsene reminded him.  She shifted.  "Okay, everyone there?"  That got a grunt.  "Fine.  The way we worked out our team is that Melissa and I take cuts, but that Ishi and Lotus get steady salaries."

"Why?" Goemon asked patiently.

"Because it leaves us with limited liability in case something happens and we can't afford to make payments on things like the plane," Ishi explained.  "It gives us more than enough to live on, we stepped it up by worth of the haul.  Anything under eighty thousand, whichever of us goes on the job gets ten thousand automatically off the top," Ishi told him.  "Anything from eighty to five hundred thousand we get ten percent off the top, anything over five hundred thousand we take fifteen percent off the top.  That leaves us with plenty to live off of, to save a lot of, and to go on the next job without the financial risk of having to pay for things like the next big purchase."

"Good job," Jigen admitted.  "Should we have Xander?"

"Yeah, since we're trusting Mom to do it for us if we can't, we should probably have him," Arsene noted.

Lupin got up and stuck his head out the door.  "Xander!  Kids are on the phone to do a disclosure!"  He slammed the door before Fujiko could come back in.  "Fair warning, Fujiko's in the hallway," he said quietly.

"We net more in one job than she probably did her whole career," Melissa said sarcastically.  "By the way, we set up trusts so no one could claim Ishi's or Lotus' money. Just in case."

"That's a good thing," Lupin agreed.

"Very reasonable," Murami agreed.  "With who?"

"That nice guy in Switzerland who Mom goes to for the legit stuff."

"Ah.  Good idea then," Murami agreed. She knew him and agreed.  Lupin gave her a look.  "I don't run the legit stuff, Lupin, he's got one of the guys at one of the banks in Bern, which is a multi-national and has offices in Zurich, Paris, London, Rome, etc."  She smiled at Xander as he came in.  "You introduced the kids to the guy in the bank?"

"Yeah, he set up trust funds for all the kids that they'll get when they're eighteen, even the good kids and Alex."  He flopped down.  "What's going on?"

"We're doing a full financial disclosure with the kids," Murami explained.

Xander looked at Lupin.  "Pouted at her too?" he asked dryly, smirking at him to show he was teasing.

Lupin nodded.  "Definitely.  We don't like that hiding thing you taught the kids.  It's bad enough you do it to us."  Xander shrugged and handed over his portfolio, then looked at their financial manager.  "Okay, thanks.  Let's start with the kids, it'll be shorter."

"Sure, daddy.  Since I'm here, I'll go first," Arsene offered.  "Let's see.  I'm worth about six million at the moment, excluding a plane and a boat, and an apartment in Venice.  That one's in mine and Melissa's name at the moment."

"I don't like Venice, it smells," Ishi reminded her.  "Since I just spoke up, I can go next.  I'm worth about seventy thousand at the moment, after school shopping and anime shopping.  Most of that's in an interest-bearing checking account with low risk for investment purposes.  Then again, I mostly live off my debit card."

Lotus coughed.  "I'm about the same way," she admitted quietly. "I'm worth about fifty thousand at the moment.  I didn't go on as many jobs as the others.  Then again, that guy in Bern started that account for me since Murami was on vacation and I didn't want to bother her to do something that simple.  We have her looking over his shoulder on it though."

"Very true, and interest is due to be dropped in there soon," Murami agreed.  "Sometime next week.  Those do not count their trusts that Xander set them up so they'd have something upon their majority in case something happened."  Goemon nodded at that.  "Melissa?  Since you're the most diverse of the group?"

"Hmm.  Well, let's see now.  I've got royalties coming from two of my plans going through.  I've got some income from the fixing stuff that I've been doing here.  Thank you for teaching me how to fix the archaic weapons, mom, I earn about fifty bucks a week doing that down here.  The school's arsenal is really ancient and worn out.  I've got a few designs that I'm waiting to be paid for that I built from plans.  Other than that, I've got my trust, I've got the cars, I've got the apartment in Venice, the house-house in London, and about five and a half million in various investments around the world.  Most of it in low risk stocks, bonds, mutual funds, and things that leave me about half a mil in ready cash at any given time.  By the way, Murami, are you sure about that mutual fund?"

"It's fairly low risk and has been doing good.  I talked to Kurt and he said it was expected to go very well.  You don't have to take that suggestion if you don't want to."

"No, I like it, but a few of the companies in it looked iffy when I looked them over.  Overall I liked the plan and the purpose of the mutual fund, but a few of the companies looked fairly off to me.  One of them is mafia run and a cover I know for sure."

"I'll pass that back, they may want to take that out of there," she said, making a note on a nearby notepad.  "Send me that information in an email later.  I'll pass it on to Kurt after I look it over.  Xander, you've got some in that same fund."

"Sure," he agreed easily.  "I thought you guys had more than that."

"I'm waiting to buy my first real car when I come out," Arsene offered.  "I like classic cars but I'd rather have something faster and sleeker.  Something more modern that could still fit us all."

"I've got a few good suggestions about that," Jigen offered.  "We'll talk about that over the holidays too."

"How much are these trusts worth?" Goemon asked quietly.

"I made them take half of their first seven hauls and set it up when they were ten," Xander said, looking back at him.  "So they're probably close to about a million with interest."  He looked at Murami.  "As a rough guess?"

"Just over," she admitted.  "It's set up to open to them when they turn eighteen, Goemon. That way their mother couldn't steal it and if something happened they had it in reserve but untouchable by the cops.  We're not bugged in here, right?"

"If we are, I get to make those cops retire," Xander said dryly, smirking at her.  "They'll be wounded very heavily in the line of duty and get to retire and do neat stuff, like cook and read comics all day."

Murami smiled at him.  "Thank you, Xander.  You make a very good insurance policy."  She grinned at him.  "Did you guys need to ask the kids anything else?"

"No, but Melissa still needs to know the depth of Mom's empire so she can take it over," Arsene said smoothly.  "Since she and Bastian are taking it over when she's eighteen and then he'll slowly let her have it."

"Fine," Xander agreed, taking back his binder and getting up to pull a folder out of Lupin's filing cabinet.  "Okay.  We've got ten houses, sixteen apartments, sixteen cars spread around those safe houses.  We've got the arsenals in most of them, various prepaid cards amounting up to probably about half a mil spread around them for necessities.  We've got the restaurant, the anime and comic company, the electronics company, the security company, which she's not ever getting, and a few other legit businesses that she's not getting."  He turned the page.  "There's the satellite and the registered wavelengths for communications gear, which the electronics company is making so be looking for new phones within a year.  There's the computer programs that we're marketing, and the anime company has a game portion that's under their wing and being slowly sucked in as it's bought.   That leaves the manor house and other house that I bought on that persona.  The warehouses of stuff, and the money stuff."  Lupin snatched that and the portfolio back, making Xander grin at him.  "Hi, boss."

"Bastard," he muttered, reading it over.  "When did you put that in there?"

"When you wanted to know what my empire was doing."

"Fine.  Thank you, Xander.  You could have told me."  He looked at the money on hand and gasped, staring at Xander, who shrugged.  "How?" he squeaked.

"I do more and don't have to split it with as many people."  He looked at Murami.  "Alan's reminded me that my other retirement fund, the hard asset one, is probably a bit too big.  That leaves the LA warehouse, the one in the desert, and the one in New York, right?"

"The one in Switzerland, Xander," Murami said with a touch of humor.  "You also need to sort out which money's going with Melissa into your empire and which is just yours."

"I thought I had done that."

"Maybe," she admitted, looking over the folder Lupin held out for her.  "Yes, I do see you've marked it," she said, smiling at him.  "That's fine, I'll start separating those out and put her name on those."

"That's fine."

"Why do I have the feeling that if we asked, you would have told us?" Jigen asked sarcastically.

"Because I would have."  He shrugged and slid down a bit, smirking at Murami.  "So I guess I'm ordering dinner tonight?"

"Sure, Xander, and then we can work on getting you set up with some good, long-term investments."

"He's got those set up in the persona from the manor house, in his real name," Murami told him.  "The ones that list him as Lavelle are working accounts and what he's playing on.  By the way, one of the usual conventions you have me send in applications for isn't running this year.  They ended one of the Paris conventions, but yours is starting next month.  You forgot to make hotel reservations."  Xander nodded.  "I found that out and did it last night.  As usual, a suite.  Unfortunately one of the larger one in the hotel.  It's all they had left."

"That's fine," Xander agreed.  "I'm inviting one of the artists over so make sure he's got a room too please."

"Already done, Xander. Anything else?"  Lupin looked up, giving her an odd look. "I'll take that as a yes.  I'll let you kids go.  Call me when Wyatt leaves."

"Yes, ma'am," they agreed, and hung up, giggling on their way back outside.

"You have a horse?" Lupin asked.

"I have partial stock in a race horse," Xander admitted.  "It's pretty.  It also lives near me. It's an Irish bred and mostly raised one.  She's training at the one where you wear the hats and the Queen comes."

Jigen moaned.  "A race horse?"

"Partial interest," Xander pointed out again. "It's pretty."  He looked at Lupin again.  "Anything in there that you don't agree with?"

"No, I agree with most of this," he admitted, flipping through it.  "You've been very careful, Xander.  I'm damn impressed," he said finally, handing them both back to him. "Thank you for sharing that with me."  He got up to get a drink.  "Jigen?"

"No, I'm good at the moment," he said, looking at Xander.  "Feel better?"

"I feel the same way I did before.  I'm solvent, I've got enough money to do things I enjoy.  My future's taken care of in legit and illegal issues.  My empire's going to someone who's got a very good clue about what to do with it.  Bastian and Homer have been working with Melissa to get her up to speed since late last year.  They all know I'm going to be watching over her shoulder for a few years then let her have it.  By the way, my empire's having a ball to introduce her to everyone next month as well.  Remind me to tell her she needs something to wear."

"Sure, Xander," Lupin agreed.  "Are we invited?"

"Sure."  He grinned.  "I can't count you as part of my empire, but they seem to work very well together.  I do more support, information, and things."

"Thanks.  The kid and I will escort you two."  He gulped a large swallow of scotch.  "Anything else that needs to be discussed?"

"Xander, what do you want to do about the comic warehouse?  It's getting a bit tight."

"Buy a damn building already," Fujiko said from the doorway.  "It'll be cheaper in the long run."

"We can do that," Murami agreed, looking at Xander, who nodded and shrugged.  "That's fine, I'll help her find one.  Use one of the backup funds for it?"  He nodded.  "Okay, anything else on your list you need to work on?"

"The robotics guys are coming to Raycon as well.  They're about to find that out.  I want practical demonstration models ready at that time."  She grinned at him for that so he smirked back.  "Other than that, I need you to pull my Chronicle out of the safe and the rest of my journals so I can give them to the artist coming in.  I don't want it to be literally me, but something that's kinda like me."

"Sure, Xander.  I can do that."  She made a note of that as well.  "You'll pop around to pick them up?"

"If I'm not there by the day before, send them to the hotel in his name.  It's the same guy who did our anime adventures in the other timeline."

"Agreed.  Anything else you need to work on right now?"

"No, I think I'm pretty well set.  I'm enjoying having knees that work as well as they did before my torture.  It's nice," he said happily.  "How's the plastic wizardry business going?"

"I looked over their first month's stats, they're doing *very* well, and that ...person running it was giddy and happy.  Apparently she's been upped on the ladder of success due to this."  She stood up.  "Would you mind if I went to take some of that potion?"

"Please, go ahead. I'll tell her to give you a discount.  Not an issue," he promised, getting up to hug her.  "We love you.  You earn me good interest and keep me in check when I want to go insane."  He left, heading out to find Alan and cuddle him. Maybe he'd tell him about the race horse.

"Now that you know, Lupin, are you okay?" Murami asked.

"They're doing better than I did at their ages," he said quietly, smiling at her.  "Thanks, Murami."

"You're welcome, Arsene.  You know we like you and your insane offspring and your semi- sane helper Xander."  Jigen snorted, shaking his head.  "You two are more normal than not, he's just slightly warped.  By the way, will I see you guys at Raycon?"  They all nodded.  "Cool.  I've still got to mail the invitation to Kowalski personally."  She gathered everything and put them in her briefcase.  "I'll send yours up by courier, Fujiko."

"Just email me the balances," she offered quietly.  "The kids are fine?"

"They are," Lupin assured her.  "They've got stuff held back so they can't touch it until they're an adult.  They've got enough in play at the moment so they can live and shop off it.  They've been very careful to make sure they're solvent and doing well financially.  IRA's, Murami?"

"When they're eighteen," she reminded him.  "We'll probably roll over most of their trusts at that time, unless Melissa goes into evil creator overload and needs it.  I'm sure she'll put more back though.  She's good about that so far."

"Good," Jigen agreed.  "She's got income from creating and building?"

"Mostly building," Murami assured him.  "She's not really creating. She builds very well though and a lot of people are looking at her as someone who can build things for them.  She finished a mini-laser for Bastian before school."  She locked her briefcase.  "Do we need me for anything else?"  They shook their heads.  "Can I play with the kids?"

"Sure, but Sarah's with the kitsune now," Jigen said quietly.

"I'm sorry, Jigen.  I know it's hard to lose her already."

"At least we can see her and play with her," Lupin offered. "C'mon.  Ray actually got through to Fred so he won't try to eat you this time."  He grinned as he walked her up the stairs, chatting about the kids.  They both giggled when Alan moaned, taking the kids from the doorway to play with them.  "He's really as good as I am?"

"He is, Lupin.  He's not the lockpick but Xander finds many ways of making money and makes them all his."

"I'm happy then.  He's my equal."

"He's your partner, Lupin.  You'll get him back someday, I promise.  Alan can't hope to understand everything in Xander's mind.  He's a complicated guy and only you seem to understand him fully."  She patted him on the arm before helping Alex dress her dolly for a tea party.

Xander bounced in a few minutes later.  "Hey, Murami, I want to make sure Bix has something to retire on when she's finally ready to leave us lunatics and marry Ray.  Can you set up something like that?" he asked, giving her a hug.  "Thanks."  He bounced out again, going to play with Goemon and practice with him.

Murami smiled at Lupin.  "Do I need to set something up the minute I get back?"

"Probably not," he admitted.  "She doesn't want to leave until Yu's old enough to survive in the household."

"That's fine.  I'll take a short-term strategy then," she said with a small smile.  "Are they happy together?"

"Very.  He's very sweet to her.  He pulls out her chair and things all the time.  Goemon approves of him."

"Then I'll make plans for it to be within two years," she said with a wink and a grin for him. "Should I tell her?"

"I will, or Xander will."  He shrugged and hugged Yu as tightly as he could.  "I'm having empty nest feelings," he admitted.

"There's some orphan thieves," she offered. "You could always raise a new generation in your greatness."

Lupin smirked at her.  "Yeah, I can.  Plus, I keep being reminded that I'll have grandchildren within a few years. Maybe even ten or so."

"Maybe," she agreed.  "Should I tell the two who're now married that they've got that other trust?  I didn't send anything on those."

"No, that's fine.  Just send it to Pops.  Make sure he or Vecchio deals with it, not them and not Dawn."

"Sure, Lupin.  She doesn't do very well with her money anyway."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "You're a naughty boy, Lupin the Third.  But very sweet at times."

"Hey, anything for my ladies," he said with a small smirk for her.  "So, where are you moving?  Since Xan ordered you to."

"There's a wonderful condo I've wanted to see someone about.  I'm going to talk to them.  It's on top of a very prestigious building and closer to the office so I can jog in.  It's also twice as big and I can have a dog."

"Congrats.  Tell me if you need help moving in or anything."

"No, Xander's got a moving company.  I'm sure I'll get a discount."

"He does?"

"He's in silent partnership with a few guys who just started their own.  They were thieves who wanted to go straight.  They came to him seeking funds to get out of the life, he agreed.  It's really handy, they're very good and careful.  They take in some kids who leave jail and want to start straight."

"Wow.  That's very...wow."  He grinned at Alex. "I'm sure you're gonna be just like your momma," he assured her.  "You'll be that sweet and generous too."  She grinned up at him.  Yu patted him on the cheek so he kissed him and let him get down to play with the dolls too.  "Let's have that tea party, guys."  They cheered and settled in t o help, even the big kids because they knew that the adults would play with them next.

The Power of Love.

Lupin looked up as Xander walked into his study, holding up the letter that had been sent for him.  "Por vous."

"Merci."  He sat down to read it, snorting at the contents.  "Another paternity claim," he said, waving it a bit.  "With a woman I supposedly slept with last month.  That I've been living with for the past year."

Lupin shook his head but he was laughing.  "Have fun with her."

"Thanks."  He got up to grab the phone, dialing the number for the attorney on the record.  "Is Mr. Paul Rodriguez in?"  Pause.  "Yeah, and?  He's accusing me of sleeping with someone and fathering her child.  Honey, I'm *gay*.  No, this is Lavelle," he said sweetly.  "Just put the idiot on.  Yeah, now would be a good idea."  He covered the mouth piece.  "She's in there at the moment."  Lupin shook his head but he was still smirking.  "Hola.  You think my gay ass is sleeping with a woman and fathering children?"

"Go easy on him, he obviously doesn't know you or do any homework," Lupin muttered.

"Me?" Xander asked dryly, smirking at him.  "Uh-huh.  I'm dating a gay actor.  I've dated my boss for the last few years. What part of gay didn't you get?  I haven't even slept with a female prostitute in three years!  Get a life, man, and tell her to as well.  Well, if he's an albino he's definitely not mine.  My hair's *silver*," he noted, drawing out the color.  "I have *brown* eyes.  I used to have *black* hair.  There's no ablinos in my family, dude.  Really."  He sat up.  "Really?  And how would she have done that?  With what sample?"  He snickered.  "That's not my sample, that's Lupin's sample.  I'm one of his gunmen, not Lupin.  Want to talk to him?"  He nearly laughed at the obviously sweating person on the other end.  "Listen, there is *a* sample on file with Interpol.  You'd have to get Inspector Kowalski to find it.  You let him have the test run.  If it's mine, I'll gladly step up and take responsibility.  If not, then I suggest she quit living in a fantasy world and move on with reality.  Sure, want his number?  I've got his number somewhere."  Lupin held it up, smirking at him.  Xander read it off.  "Talk to Kowalski, man.  He's chased me for a *very* long time. He can probably even document for you who I've been sleeping with for the last two years or so."  He hung up and rolled his eyes, sitting back down again.  "Gods, money grubbing assholes!" he said finally.

Lupin nodded. "Fortunately I've had only a few of those.  One of them ended up dead when someone tried to take the kid, it stopped that."

"Think I can arrange one of those accidents?  Do I look like an albino in pictures?"  Lupin shook his head, smirking at him.  "He thought I was a fricken' albino!"

"Well, the hair is light, but not quite that light.  Your eyes aren't pink either.  I kinda like them being brown."  The phone on the desk rang so he answered.  "Lupin."  He listened to the tirade and snorted.  "They thought he was an albino too.  He's gay.  He likes boys.  Look at his present one."  He hung up.  "Paris' don thinks that it might be yours too."

"He knows I was sleeping with you and I have better taste than that.  If this sort of thing crops up again, feel free to laugh at them."  He got up and headed up to write to Alan to warn him before some reporter got hold of the story and asked him.

"Ah, love's fickle mistress am I, but missing my drug of choice am I also."

"Did you say something?" Jigen called.  He stuck his head into the study.  "You okay?"

"No.  He is my drug of choice and I am withering away as I await my next fix."

"Lupin, man, get a grip," Jigen said before going outside to help the kids.  He and Goemon shared a glance.  "You heard?"

"I did.  I also heard Xander go off on someone who thought their child might be his."  Jigen snorted.  "They thought he was an albino."

"Stupid fricken' idiot," he muttered, going to help Alex with her aim.  It needed to be better.  Much better.

Goemon looked at his son.  "That is why you should always have personal control of your desires, son, so that you do not face similar circumstances."

Yu smiled up at him.  "Love you instead, daddy."

"Thank you, son.  I find you more satisfying as a relationship as well.  Let's try that last move again.  Then you can help Kenji with his katas."  Yu nodded, trying it again.  Goemon got down to help him, showing him how it should be again.  Yu did it and this time got it right.  "Very good, son.  Now go do a kata, then we'll have a snack."

Yu ran off giggling, going to hug his big brother and help him.  He mirrored his big brother's movements, watching what he did and doing it right after him.

"He's good at that," Lupin said from the doorway.

"Very," Goemon agreed, looking back at him.  "How is Xander?"

"Fuming," he said with a smirk.  "This is the third time this has happened."

"At least they've all been false to date," Goemon offered. He stood up and dusted himself off, going to help with Alex.  With Sarah gone, she was the last little girl in the house.   She would be a bane to the Dark, but she still needed a lot of practice before then.  She could barely hit the target.  "Perhaps she should have glasses."

"The kids are coming back in a few weeks, we'll take 'er then," Jigen agreed.  Ishi would need to go anyway, so would the others.  "Lupin, make her an eye appointment with Ishi's," he called.

"Sure," he called back.  "Tea's done!"  He headed back to his office and found his daughter sitting in there.  He gave her an odd look.  "The last time I knew, you had classes for another two weeks."

"Actually, the Practical Education teacher told us to go away in a permanent manner since we took over her class while she was sick, and Art Appreciation is really kinda boring," she said dryly.  "We didn't have any finals.  We didn't have anything else, and I'm the only one out," she said at his dirty look.  "She really did though.  She said Lotus is a smartass because she makes better tea."  She grinned at him.  "So, I'm back, what can I help with?"

"Have you seen your mother yet?"

"Not yet."

"How did you get here?  I didn't hear a motor."

"I flew in on a broom, daddy, how do you think I got here?"

"Xander!" he yelled, bringing him at a job.  "Is this Arsene?  She's much more mouthy and insolent than usual."

Xander looked at him and shook his head.  "Not a chance that's our kid.  I can slay you," he pointed out dryly.

She said something in a demonic language, which made Xander laugh, so Lupin assumed she was swearing.  "Who are you and why are you here tainting my study?"

"I'm here because it's fun," she said smugly.  Xander pulled off his shirt.  She screamed and covered her eyes.  "I'm sorry!  He's moping though, it's like he was bitten by a Shakespear Demon!"

"Yay.  Out!" Xander shouted.  "Now, before I have to do an exorcism."  She poofed up in a puff of smoke and disappeared.  "Stupid bastards," he muttered, walking away.  "It was another demon," he said at Goemon's odd look.

Lupin sat down to dial his daughter's phone.  "Arsene, it's daddy. You're still there, right?  No odd things going on with classes, like you taking over or you getting kicked out?  Call me when you get this."  He hung up and shook his head, leaning back.  "Lying bleeding from the cruel needle of my addiction, I lay here with weeping sores that only the sweet balm of love can soothe and the thirst for your lips is the only thing that will keep me from starvation of the soul," he whispered.  His phone rang so he put it on speaker phone.  "Yeah?"

"Daddy, the Headmistress *swore* she wasn't going to tell you about that," Arsene whined.

"She didn't.  The demon pretending to be you did."

"Aw, crap."

He chuckled.  "Were you kicked out of the class?"

"No, she passed us.  Said we can do everything but cook."

"Fine.  Art Appreciation?"

"Is wonderful, but we had this as little kids.  Besides, he likes Church art and we don't.  It's *boring*."

"Tough, stay in school."

"Yes, daddy.  We're going to be released early again we think."

"Fine.  I'll make sure your rooms are dusted.  Bix!" he shouted when she walked past the door.  "You behave, Arsene.  Make me proud.  There'll be good presents for graduation.  Oh, and remind Melissa of the formal."  He hung up after blowing a kiss.  "Bix, love," he said with a grin.

"There are other children on the way?"

"No.  Xander decided to set you up a fund so that you could retire and pounce Ray for real.  So whenever you're ready to go with him for good, let us know.  That way you don't have to worry about housing, the wedding, things like that."

"Wow."  She misted up.  "Thank you, Lupin."

"You're welcome. You deserve it after watching our hellions."

She nodded, chuckling a bit.  "They are that. At least Fred has settled down."  She smiled at him. "It'll still be a few years."

"That's what interest is for," he reminded her.  "It'll just grow until you're ready to leave to become a cop's wife."

"Thank you.  It was incredibly sweet of you."  She bowed and went to tell her cousin.  "Thank you for setting up that trust for when I move on," she whispered, hugging him. She kissed him on the cheek.  "It was incredibly sweet of you and Xander to do."  She walked over to where Alex was getting frustrated, giving her a hug.  "It's time to clean up for lunch," she ordered.  They ran into the house, knowing that her word was law. Even over the daddies.   "Thank you, cousin."

"Think nothing of it," he assured her.  Silently he vowed he was going to kill Xander and add his own contribution to it.  That was his job!  He headed up the back stairs, finding Xander folding his laundry.  "Who did you set it up with?"

"Murami.  The last time she was here."  He grinned at him.  "It's a nice fund.  She'll be able to live off it in case something happens and pay for a fairytale wedding.  I thought she deserved it since she did so much for my monsters."

"I'll be adding to it."

"Not an issue, big guy.  I love you."

"You're insane," he snorted.  "Thank you for telling her."

"I didn't."

"Then Lupin must have.  I'll call Murami later to make sure there's enough in there."  He left, leaving to do that and to transfer some of his family's funds into the account.  It was only right, it was his cousin, he should be giving her a dowry, not Xander.

***

Arsene hung up and shook her head.  "A demon told daddy we'd been kicked out."

"I didn't know Vengeance demons came because you moped," Ishi said dryly.

"Isn't Love a demon too?" Lotus countered.

"Only if you're my father," Lupin said to break up the argument.  "What time is this fence supposed to be here?"

"Never," a male voice called.

The kids knew that voice, it made them groan and run for the boat.  It made them take off really fast.  It made Ishi tense up when he noticed there was a boat chasing them.  It even made him hop over to destroy the other boat when it came close enough.  When the boat capsized, it was also why they went back to look for survivors.  They found their two favorite cops in the water, clinging to a blowup doll.

"I didn't know they made Zenigata blow up dolls, did my dad invent that?" Lupin the Fourth asked.

"Lupin, fences and cops don't always match," Melissa said impatiently.

"We arrested him earlier," Kowalski panted.  "Get us up.  I can't swim!"

"How do you not know how to swim?" Ray Vecchio complained.  "It's easy, hang onto the doll."

"Shut up!"

The four kids looked at each other and sighed.  If the fence wasn't coming, then they really had no reason not to save them.  Ishi hauled them up, handcuffing them in the open space on the boat.

"We'll just have to find another fence," Melissa noted dryly as they headed back to their apartment.  It had almost no furniture, but it did have a few spots and some towels.  They got the cops inside and handed them towels.

"We'd give you guys stuff to wear, but unless you want to wear Melissa's clothes we don't really have anything that'll fit," Arsene said with a small shrug.  "Ishi's not quite the same

size you two are."

"I've got a pair of sweats and a pair of pajamas," Ishi offered.  Vecchio nodded, those would probably stretch.  He went to get it for them, handing them over.  "We've got to start stocking things like clothes."

"We can barely keep our trunks straight," Melissa reminded him. "By the time we let them go, their clothes should be dry."  She sat down to type into the bulletin board that the cops had arrested the last fence, but they had arrested the cops.  "I wonder who they're going to send after them," she muttered.

"We need our own cop, like Gramps," Lupin clarified when Ishi gave her an odd look.   "These two won't be able to.  They watched us grow up.  I want someone like Gramps on our cases when we finally debut."

"With our luck, we'd end up with someone like Brad," Lotus said calmly, sitting down to watch Melissa type. "Is there any good news?"

"Ne, DeMarllion is still whining about his son," she admitted dryly.  "The point that his son didn't have to break into my personal safe didn't seem to slow him down any.  He's decided I'm wrong for protecting my part of the haul."

"What happened to him?" Vecchio asked.

"He's the one the flamethrower got," Lupin said, grinning back at him. "Just a small nozzle of it.  The acid on mine and the small explosives on Ishi's didn't seem to phase anyone. We started out smaller."

"Hey, you tried," Kowalski admitted.  He looked at Vecchio.  "He's right, the Commissioner doesn't want us chasing them once they formally debut."

"Why not?"

"Because one of my first pickpocketing jobs was on Uncle Ray so I could get five bucks and get a soda," Melissa reminded them.

"Not to mention how close we've gotten over the years.  How many times we've already defeated you.  How you watched us grow up."

"How we seem to enjoy holding you two hostage," Lotus added.

"Sorry, I'm not in a really good torturing mood today," Lupin shot back with a smirk.  "Get me next week sometime."

"I'll be hiding this month since there's going to be a concurrence."

"You keep track of that?" Vecchio asked him.

"Hell yes, it keeps me sane!  You would too if you had to put up with all three of them!"  He pointed at the girls. "Auntie Dawn's swings last month has *nothing* on Lotus. Alone.  Lupin becomes more playful.  Melissa becomes homicidal.  I'm saving my sanity and my ass from them by keeping track of these things.  Even Lupin the Third does now."

"We didn't scare daddy *that* bad," Arsene complained.  "Not at all like when daddy had to step into the freezer because he saw Melissa in a bikini."

"Ick!"

"Well, it does fit in with the Giver's plans of breeding us to the last generation to get unstoppable sons," Lotus pointed out.

"She did what?" Kowalski demanded.

"Fujiko had a plan to breed Melissa and daddy, me and Uncle G and Uncle Jigen with Lotus," Arsene said dryly, smirking at him. "That way there would be *male* thieves in the family lines again. Since we're *girls* and all and can't possibly be *real* thieves."

"That was mom's first night back too, he found it in her diary," Ishi reminded her.  "She also called the Countessa Domini to take you guys on so you could be *consorts* to a leading family."

"I hope she realizes she's the reason I'll never have a serious relationship where I might have children," Lotus said bitterly.

"Father pointed that out, it made her cry again.  Mother said she's much better now.  She's quit scheming again.  Apparently the point got through to her when she woke up to find a dagger on a spring trigger above her heart.  I'd like to congratulate our fellow student on that one."

"Already done that and told his teacher that he did very good and ingenious work, even though she didn't die.  He passed his practicals."

"Any idea who else is after us?" Melissa asked quietly.

"Yeah.  Nosy bitch and her crew were also given us.  They're still hot on us, even though they got another assignment after we humiliated that teacher and made him have a breakdown."

"Huh?" Kowalski asked.

"We were targets of the assassin candidates this year," Ishi told him.

"That's why we got Brad," Vecchio told him.

"Oh.  That poor schmuck.  They did that to him knowing he was dating Melissa!"

"Yup, sure did," Melissa agreed bitterly.  "Which is why you got Brad.  He has a conscience."

"Is this teacher available for discussion?" Vecchio asked.

"Probably.  If you can take his babbling," Arsene said with a smirk.  "We got...creative on him."  Lotus let out a chuckle.  "All Melissa's brilliant idea of course."

"But for one part, that was Mom's."

"Yeah, that was Mom's.  Did you hear that he's got some miraculous creeping paralysis?  It goes a bit further up each day.  It's like something's eating his body slowly, a bite a day or so, but it's not doing it physically."

"That's a possibility," Lotus offered.  "There are things that can do that."

"More than I wanted to know," Vecchio butted in, walking off shaking his head.

"Don't go too far, captive of ours.  Otherwise we might have to get mean."  Arsene picked up the phone and dialed a number she had gotten off Xander.  "Hello," she said in a fake Chicago accent. "Can I speak to the commissioner?  It's about the younger Lupin gang.  No, but I saw them cut open a boat earlier and save two of the inspectors.  Yeah, please, sweetie.  No, not Zenigata.  I think he was floating in the water."  She smirked at Melissa, who was shaking her head.  "What?" she mouthed.  "Commissioner?" she asked in her usual voice.  "No, this is Lupin the Fourth.  Could we trouble you to give us someone like Zenigata to chase us when we formally come out?  You know it makes us better when we have quality officers at our heels."

"Well, yes, but we *like* both Rays and Gramps.  Besides, he lusts after my daddy being in jail and we grew up tormenting both Rays.  It's not really fair to make them try to catch kids who learned how to pickpocket on them.  Melissa, you still owe him those five dollars," she reminded her.  She listened to him quietly blow a gasket.  "But it'd be so much better for our ego.  After all, it's not every year that you get a stunning group of thieves coming in so young who're able to send Interpol into conniptions.  Yeah, but just someone *worthy* of us would be *wonderful*.  After all, you don't really want us *bored* do you?"  She smirked at his assertion that he hoped she never got bored.  "So start sending quality cops after us once we debut formally.  If they're that far beneath us, we'll tie them up, paint them a pretty color like purple, and hang them from a bridge.  Sure, thanks."  She hung up and broke out in giggles.  "I can't wait to see who they get."

"This could backfire on us," Ishi warned.  "They could send Brad."

"Then I'd definitely get cuddles and more while we were on the run," Melissa said with a smirk for him. "He's got a personal involvement, they won't send him.  When's graduation?"

"Next week.  Right before that formal you've got to go to," Vecchio said grimly.  "Can we come?"

"Hell no," Lupin snorted.  "But that reminds me, we've got to do some shopping, ladies, and Ishi."

"I didn't know they were part of Mom's empire.  I thought they were part of the Lupin Empire," Melissa said, staring her down.  "This is to introduce me to Mom's empire as his heir."

"So unless Uncle G's going, they can't?"  Melissa nodded. "I'll check with mom about that."

"That's fine, it'll make it less boring if you guys do get to come.  By the way, I got a message from the butler in England.  Did you know I need to have a formal coming out party since I'm the heir there too?"

"Noooo," Arsene said slowly.  "Bitchin'."

"Very.  Boring white dress though.  I told him to tell mom, who'll probably be having a fit about it."

"Wonderful.  Can we avoid that one?"

"Hell no," Ishi snorted.  "It'll have very many rich people and royalty.  We'll have to go to case things."

"Make sure you don't quite look like yourself," Arsene suggested.  "Go in Superman disguise.   Lighten your hair or something."

"Sure, Lupin."

"Do we have to go to those?" Ray whined.

"No," Vecchio promised.  "We don't have to go to either of those."

"But you did get the invite to the new con, right?" Lupin pressed.  "Mom said you were supposed to get one."

"Smack your mother upside his pointy damn head," Ray said bitterly.  He pulled out the invitation and handed it to his partner.  "Xander's company sponsors it."

"Raycon," he snorted, shaking his head.  "Wonderful."

"You've already got a room," Melissa offered.  "A bunch of the comic guys will be there too."  She went back to typing.  "Apparently we've kidnaped you for real this time.  Sorry about that.  We'll release you when we're ready to go."

"That's fine," Vecchio sighed, sitting down against a wall.  "This is a nice place, but you need furniture."

"It's only a rental and we haven't had time to shop yet," Lotus reminded him.  She looked back at her brother.  "I still need to shop for my debut."

Someone pounded on the door so Arsene got up and strolled over there, smiling happily at the cop on the other side. "Yes?  May we help you?"

"Ma'am, Lupin the Fourth, I know that you have two Interpol inspectors in there with you. I was sent to negotiate for their release.  Otherwise you'll have to deal with our Rapid Response team and I doubt we need that many dead bodies."

"We've got a negotiator," Arsene called as she let him in.  "See, they're fine."  He looked stunned.  "Dude, we grew up picking on those two.  They're like family in a lot of ways.  We saved them from drowning or being eaten in the canal.  It was our good deed for the year."  He gave her the same shocked look so she nodded.  "Really.  We're not torturing them.  I like those two.  People who hurt those two answer to me or to Mommy.  And they'd better pray it's me.  I'll be nicer and it'll be a more pleasant death.  Now, go tell your little friends that they're fine.  The only danger they're in is of catching a cold.  We'll be gone by the time you get back."  He shook his head.  "Oh, yes, we will."  He frowned but left to report and let them see the tape he had been making.  By the time he got back there, only the Inspectors remaining, and now they were chained and gagged.  "Are you all right?"

"Don't piss her off," Vecchio growled.  "She's not the stable one!"

"Sorry, Inspector.  Was that your chief in the canal?"

"No, it was a floatation device.  Lupin the Third sent it a few months back," Kowalski admitted as he was freed as well.  "Got any dry clothes?  I hate wearing wet underwear."

"How did they escape?"

"Magic portal," Kowalski said, pointing at the wall they had walked through.   The cops found the portal while they were gotten blankets and dry clothes. It went to a tunnel under a canal and ended up on the other side of the city, which was right near a parking lot, a few hotels, and one of the ways out of the city.  The cops gave up at that point, figuring they had left.  No one said anything about them needing to do some extra shopping.

Especially since they hadn't taken the tunnel at all.

Magic was a handy thing sometimes.

***

Xander strolled up to the two inspectors, handing over a garment bag.  "Here, because you needed stuff from home," he said with a wink for Ray.   He strolled off, the cops none the wiser since he looked like the old Xander Harris, long before he'd gotten the silver hair or the scars.

Vecchio glared after opening the bag.  "This is from home," he complained.

"Why be without the comforts of home," Xander called back, stopping to smirk at him.

"No, this is from the stuff I left back in Chicago.  When were you there, Lavelle?"  The cops around them stared at the other guy, who just chuckled.  "Did you do anything to my family?"

"No, Ray, I like your mother.  She's very nice.  Thought I was too skinny, tried to get me to date one of your nephews, sent a long letter, which is in the bottom of the bag.  I updated your email address for all of them so you *really* need to check your mail.  Your sister's frantic because she's having a menopause baby.  She's in some pain, her ankles are swollen.  She nearly killed her husband for doing this to her."  Vecchio groaned.  "And interestingly enough, I saw a certain Mountie in Chicago, working with them," he said calmly.  "They decided he should help again since he knew the area so well."

"Fuck," Kowalski muttered.  "Thanks for the warning, Lavelle.  Now, wanna give yourself up?"

"Do I look like a silver-haired thief and lover of many people?"  A few of the cops gave him the once over then shook their heads.  "Then why would you think I'm Lavelle?" he said with a small pout.  "I'm a good boy.  A very good boy."  He set off a flash bomb and left, heading to help the kids pick out clothes.  They needed clothes.

The Inspectors unfortunately now had more paperwork.  They'd be there for days.

***

"No, not red," Xander insisted.  "Dark colors only.  This is not something to show off at."

"Fine," she sighed, putting back the red dress she really liked.  "What about for 'Lis's coming out party?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, looking at his daughter.

"The butler said I had to since I was considered the Lady of the manor since you didn't have a wife.  Therefore I had to have a coming out party, I had to wear white, and I'm not sure what you're supposed to wear, Arsene."

"Fine.  We can call and ask."

"Fine, you do that.  For the one for the meet and greet, wear something darker."  He looked at the saleswoman.  "She's going to be in a room full of adult, stuffy people.  We're introducing my heir to her future coworkers and helpers.  We're in acquisitions."

She nodded, pulling down a burgundy dress for Arsene, a pale blue one for Lotus, and a black one for Melissa, handing them off.  "Thank you."

"How soon is this event?" she asked calmly.

"A week and a half.  We forgot to tell Melissa to shop sooner.  Usually they'd be doing this in Paris but the guy's on vacation while he heals."

"What happened to him?" Arsene called as she changed.

"He apparently got a great new idea in the middle of the night and was rushing off to scribble it down at the shop when he tripped over his car."

"Ow," Melissa agreed as she came out, looking at herself in the mirror.  "I think this is a bit older than I am and a bit more low cut too."

"Let's try for something that has sleeves," she offered, noticing the girl did not shave.

"What about something like the white one Lotus was looking at, only in a more somber color?" Xander suggested.

"Those we do have."  She came back with a navy velvet dress, handing that one off.  "Try that, young lady."  Melissa went to try it on, coming out tugging on the top.  "Hmm."

"You're gonna shave, right?"  She nodded.  "Fine, get something else then.  Strapless if you want."  She took off the dress and hung it back up, going back to find something better.

"Why are you wearing boxer shorts?" Lotus asked her.

"They're comfortable."

"Fine."  Lupin walked past and handed them both dresses.  They looked at them and switched, then went to try them on.  Lotus came out in hers, wiggling a bit as the dark green dress slid down again.  "I like it, but it doesn't fit right."

"You do have an impressive chest," the saleslady noted gently.

"They're real," Lotus said impatiently.  "No matter what anyone thinks, they are real."

"I'm sure they are.  They bounce too much not to be."  She got something else, handing it over.  "It's the same color and the same fabric, but with a different neckline.  That may help more."  Lotus went back in and came out in the strapless dress, which made Xander blush.  "I like you in that."

Lotus looked and squeaked, "No!"  She hurried back and changed, bringing it back out.  "Something more modest, please."  The saleswoman smiled at that and put that dress in Melissa's dressing room.  She came back with one with a scoop neckline, handing it over.  "Thank you."  She tried it on and came out, skimming her hands down her hips.  "Better," she admitted.  "Mom?"

Xander smirked.  "Nice, but still showy."  He turned her to look in the mirror, holding her still while the blood left her face because you could see a good bit of her chest. "It's fine, Lotus.  We can adjust it up some," he said gently.

"Are we going to 'Lis's coming out for the empire?"

He nodded.  "Sure, if you want.  You're her cohorts and she'll be bored otherwise.  Ishi?"  He came in from the front of the store, where he was hiding, and paused, then moaned and shook his head, turning around again.  "See?  You're cute!"

"Is it too much?" she called.

"Yes!"

Lotus looked at the other girls, who looked envious.  "Is it okay?"

"I like it if you do," Melissa offered, turning to look at herself in the strapless dress.  "I like this."

"It looks good on you," Xander agreed.  "Ar, put on something less frumpy."  She sighed and went to change into the dress she really liked, coming out in the black dress that clung to her body like a second skin.  He nodded.  "Okay, I like.  Ishi, come back."  He moved Lotus with the other girls.  Ishi came back and moaned, then let out a small whimper.  "Good?"

"Enough.  Please?"

"Okay, these for the party in a week and a half, now for the ones for the other coming out party, Lady Harris."

Melissa swatted at him.  "Behave, mom."  She looked at the saleslady.  "I'm coming out, I'm formally a lady since he doesn't have a wife.  I got told it's got to be white?"  She nodded and the woman was off, finding them more things to wear.  "Thanks."  She took off that dress and sat down in her dressing room, holding her head.  "Has anyone told Dad yet?"

"Not yet," he admitted.  "Since I didn't know anything about it."

"Do we need something like that?" Arsene asked.

"Honey, that's for your dad to plan," he said patiently.  "I'm not doing that one."

The girls laughed.  The saleslady came back with three white dresses and things for the other two.  They went in to change, coming out with the first ones.

Xander went to look at Ishi.  "I'll be right back, I'm taking Ishi up the street," he yelled.

"Fine!" Arsene yelled back.

Xander walked Ishi up the street, all the way to the Armani shop.  He smirked at the salesman.  "He needs a good tuxedo.  He's got two coming out parties he's got to go to for his might-as-well-be sisters.  They're both in the next few months."  The man nodded, taking him into the back.  Xander coughed and held up his card.  "We're just up the street with the ladies, we'll be back within an hour."

"Of course," the man agreed, helping the boy.  "You are very well built."

"I'm a Martial Arts Master.  I need to be able to move," he said calmly.

"Very well, sir."

***

Xander came back with pictures of all the girls in their new outfits, and flopped down onto a couch, one arm drifting up to cover his eyes.  He felt someone come in and tug the phone in his hand.  "Coming out dresses."

"Good.  I take it they're all going?"

"To both of them."

"Both?" Jigen asked.

"Melissa has to have a formal one.  Now Arsene wants one."  He handed over the phone.  "You'll wanna sit."  He sighed and flipped onto his side, facing the back of the couch, so he could nap.

Jigen looked at the pictures, his mouth open and drool starting to form.  "Shiiittt," he breathed.  He heard Fred giggle.   "Fred, get your father so he can see these."  Lupin came in a minute later so Jigen paged back to get to the first photo.  "Sit.  Down."  Lupin didn't, just smirked until he got to Arsene's first dress, the first picture.  Then he sat down and paged through them.  "Coming out party?"

"She's a Lady, she'd have to have one," Lupin agreed. "I take it ours are all going to Xander's function?"  Jigen nodded, getting comfortable.  Lupin moaned, then coughed and groaned.  "Gods, Goemon's going to have a fit when he sees her in that one.  She looks wonderful, but very grown up."

"My daughter looks like what?" he asked from the doorway.

"Do you want to see the kids in their outfits before the coming out party?"

"I'd rather have a heart attack that night."  Lupin showed off Melissa's second dress.  "That is very pretty on her."

"Is it, but Lotus looks stunning in hers."

Goemon snatched the phone to flip through the pictures, frowning at Arsene's, which made Lupin giggle.  He came to his daughter's second one, which made him pause.  It was a stunning dress.  She looked amazing.  He took a deep breath and paged to the other one, letting out a quiet whimper at the other dress.  "That was the most tasteful?" he asked.  The other two shrugged.  "Xander!"  Xander mumbled something.  "Was that the most tasteful?"

"Yeah, and it fit her chest.  It was either that or the dress Melissa ended up in, that green one."  He closed his eyes and started to snore again.

Goemon sighed and handed off the phone, going to think.  His daughter was beautiful.  She was nearly grown up.  In that dress she looked quite grown up.  He was losing his little girl.  He found Fujiko outside watching the boys play.  He sat down with a sigh, letting his sons come up to hug him.  "Thank you, sons.  That is very nice."

Fujiko patted him on the back.  "What's happened?" she asked gently.

"Our daughter is no longer a baby.  She owns a dress that stirs the loins of men everywhere."

"Lotus?  I thought she hated to dress up."

"There are two coming out parties soon for Melissa.  They had to get formal attire. She looks quite grown up."  He sighed and shook his head.  "It was...like she was some other girl in the picture."

"We have pictures?"

"On Xander's phone. The other two look nearly as good."  He looked up at her.  "My daughter is no longer a baby and she is not the cuddlesome little creature who used to curl up inside my robe to nap."

"It'll be okay.  You'll be a grandfather in a few years," she promised.  She gave him a gentle pat, then went to look at those pictures.  Jigen handed over the phone when she walked in, on one of Melissa in a white dress.  "Wedding?"

"Coming out party in polite society," Lupin said, leaning against the couch smoking.  "You'll want to sit, Fujiko."  She sat on the edge of a chair and flipped through them, her face tightening as she came to Arsene's black dress.  Her daughter's first dress popped up and she gasped, tearing up.  She paged through, getting her son, which made her cry, and then the other one made her toss the phone down and go off to cry.

"Mood swing?" Jigen asked.

Lupin picked it up and canceled the 'are you sure you want to erase this' message.  He turned off the phone and stuck it next to Xander's head on the pillow.  "Our kids are not babies."

"Our kids haven't been babies for years," Jigen reminded him.

"Maybe, but my daughter looks hot in that black dress.  Her birthday is in ten months."  He took another drag, then pulled out another one and lit it off the last one. "Gods, I'd sleep with my daughter if she wasn't my daughter."

"Just don't do it with mine, man,"

"Not an issue, Jigen.  She'll have to buy underwear too, she was wearing boxer shorts."

"My daughter?"

"Your daughter," Lupin agreed smugly.  "She's a lot like you, Jigen."  He got up and went to sulk in his office.  The night they went he'd have to make sure they got a lot of pictures.  Maybe even video to do some photo captures. Then again, it was an important event so they'd need video of both coming outs anyway.  He sat down to call the butler in England, making sure  he realized Xander didn't have a clue about these sort of things.

***

The Headmistress smiled as the children came back with their bags, shaking her head.  "You couldn't wait?"

"The day we go back, we've got Melissa's formal coming out party for her mom's empire.  Then she's got her formal coming out party as a Lady shortly thereafter," Arsene sighed.  "It's going to be a busy holiday.  Melissa's, then Lotus's, then the holidays, then Melissa's other event, then back here to rest."

The Headmistress gave her a gentle hug.  "I'm sure it'll be fine.  Did you remember shoes and everything?"

"And underwear, and bras, and hair stuff," Melissa sighed.  "I hate dressing up.  Lotus, your kimono is back in France.  Mom had it sent to the house."

"Okay," she agreed quietly, trudging her stuff up to her room.  She paused at the door.  "Miriam?" she called gently.  No answer from the body on the bed and her roommate was a very light sleeper.  The fact that there was blood on the bed wasn't encouraging.  "Student down!" she shouted, bringing the hall monitor running.  She went to her neighbors, who she liked, and knocked gently.  "Can I stuff this in a corner of your closet until we figure out what's wrong with Miriam?  There's blood all over my room."

"Sure," her roommate said, frowning.  "What happened?"

"I don't know, I just got back," she admitted, putting the bag on the back of their door and her bag in a corner.  She opened the bathroom door after tapping and grimaced.  "There's more blood in here.  Looks like someone tried to chop up a body and shove it down the drain."  She walked out into the hall and around.  "The bathroom's *covered*," she told the monitor.  "Do we need an ambulance?"

"Yes, we probably should have one," the monitor offered.

Lotus jogged back to the doorway to her section, finding Melissa coming up the stairs.  "Miriam's down, get an ambulance.  There's blood everywhere!"  Melissa turned and ran off, going to get the poor girl some help.  Lotus went back and moved a few of the girls out of the way.  "Against walls, ladies.  Did anyone hear anything?"  They all shook their heads. "Nothing?"

"No, neither did we, we can't smell the blood either," her neighbor, the one who shared the bathroom with her room, noted.  "Not even from the bathroom."

"Wonderful.  Okay then.  We'll figure that part out soon enough.  Against the walls, ladies, let the adults through."  They got out of the way of the nurse, looking fairly scared.  "It's fine.  It won't happen to you.  I won't let it happen to any of you."  She tapped the monitor on the arm and pointed at the bathroom.  "In there too."  She opened the door and blanched, then closed it.  "The neighbors say they can't smell it," she said quietly.

"How could you not?"

"I don't know.  That's too much for one person though."  She nodded, going out to shoo the children back to their rooms, saying she was doing a head count.  Everyone headed for their rooms at a run, they knew better than to disobey that one.  "Can I help?"

"No, dear.  You did very well keeping them out of the way.  Step back outside please."  She nodded, stepping back outside.  She ran into the teacher who taught forensics, science, and how to get around them, nodding him inside.  "In there, in the bathroom, and for some reason the next door neighbors can't smell it."

"Very well.  Have you stepped inside?" he asked.  She nodded.  "Is this your room?"  She nodded again.  "Fine. Wait out here.  You're not going to be able to sleep in here tonight, Lotus."  He noticed Arsene jogging up the stairs.  "Take her back to your room for the night."

"Sure.  Grab your stuff."  Lotus got her things and brought them down to Arsene's room, letting her put them in her roommate's closet.  She never used it so she wouldn't mind.  "What happened?"

"I don't know.  She was breathing but she wouldn't wake up.  It looks like someone painted our bathroom in blood.  There's blood on her bed too."  Someone tapped on the door so she let the roommate in.  "Sorry, didn't realize I had locked it."

"Not an issue.  We're all doing a head count.  What happened?"

"Mirriam's near death, there's blood everywhere in her room, and it's too much for one person," Arsene summed up.  "By the way, we're using your closet for Lotus' new dresses."

"Fine."  She flopped down onto her bed.  "Gets me out of a science test."  They nodded and sat down on Arsene's bed.  "Shouldn't you tell Ishi?"

"I'm sure they'll be doing a headcount over there next," Lotus said dryly.  "What wonderful things happen when we're gone," she said bitterly, looking at her sister.  "Did you feel anything off?"

"No, but I want to talk to Janus."

"Deal.  As soon as we can get back in there," she agreed. "We'll probably have to rebless it anyway."  She got up to answer the door when someone knocked.  "They told me to come down here since it's my roommate."

"When can we get back in?" Arsene asked.  "I need to check on my altar."

"Probably not for a few hours.  Lotus, you may want to stay down here tonight, dear."

"I can't sleep with Arsene, she kicks and sucks in her sleep.  If I must, I'll go pout at my brother and he'll give me his bed while he sleeps in a corner like daddy."

"Fine," she agreed with a gentle smile.  "Don't make it a habit however.  Go to him now if you want.  They're locked down too."

"That's okay.  We can text message back and forth," Arsene assured her.

"Good girls.  Did you get pretty things for the coming out parties?"

"Very, and my father's probably shaking his head about one of them," she admitted.

"That's good, dears.  Stay up here, we'll escort down by floors for dinner."  She went to the next room to check on those students.

"I definitely want to talk to my statue now," Arsene noted quietly.  She text'd Ishi, getting a grunt in response.  He had made a special emoticon for that.  "He's not happy."

"I wonder why."  She took it and text'd him to ask why he wasn't happy.  He wrote back a longer note and she snorted.  "The boys were in his room playing with his leather pants."  She handed it back with a grin for the roommate who had just groaned.  "Dad told him he couldn't wear them often because it's not the family's style and he'd look horrible in them."

"I can't imagine Uncle Goemon in leather pants," Arsene agreed dryly, shaking her head.  That was a bad thought, even for her.  She sent a silent prayer to her God, then listened as someone upstairs screamed.  "I think he's awake."

"Wonderful. We'll be back," Lotus offered, getting up and heading upstairs to her room.  Arsene came up right behind her.  "Did the statue scare you?" she asked, leaning in.

"What is that thing?"

"Janus," Arsene said.  "May I?"  He nodded, getting out of her way.  She walked in and carefully knelt in front of the altar, saying a quiet prayer and lighting the candles and incense on it.  The heads sneezed.  "What happened!" she demanded.

"Two things.  Very large, with wings.  They got the girl and another person who was sacrificed.  They took the second body since it was dead," the heads said in unison.  "That one will live, she is protected.  Find the ones who are doing sacrifices for power, Arsene."

"On it," she promised.  "Girls or guys?"

"Girls. Lotus may be able to sense them."

"Even better.  Praise be to your name, Janus."  She bowed and got up, lighting the candles on Miriam's altar for her, saying a quick prayer there too for Miriam's health.  Gods always needed more power and it could only help.  She walked out, taking Lotus back down to her room so she could change and they could find the teacher who taught herbology ...and other things.  Lotus headed there while she changed, stunning her roommate.  "If you see *anything* out of the ordinary, you let us know," she told her roommate. She was one of the few virgins in the school.  It was a reasonable precaution.  She hurried after Lotus, tapping before walking in.  "Did you tell him?"

"I did, and I called Mom, who's napping.  I called the Order in Japan, and they told me what it may be.  I called Uncle Marcus and he's pissed, not just because we interrupted his afternoon nookie either."  She looked at the teacher.  "Janus said it was two things with large wings.  Sorry about the rhyme."

"That's all right, Lotus," he said gently.  "There are few who follow the old ways here."

"Are there any who follow the old ways but aren't in the classes?" Arsene asked.  He nodded. "Outside of Lotus?"

"Yes, there are a few. I may not know them all."

"That's fine. Can you tell us who?  So we can weed them out?"  He shook his head.  "Okay, then can you show me how to detect darkness?"

"That I can do," he agreed, walking her into the back room and closing the door.  She came out a few minutes later, her eyes closed.  "Open them.  Look around."  She looked around and shivered at the sight of a jar.  "They should appear like that to you.  This should only last for a day."

"Thank you, Master."  She walked out, heading back up to her room.  She looked around, careful not to step in any more blood. It all glowed to her, but some of it glowed more.  She coughed and pointed.  "Something's in that.  I'm not sure what."  The teacher came over to look, then shivered at the message underneath, written in something like hair gel that hadn't let the blood seep in.  She read it, then nodded once.  "We need to go to the boy's side."

"Deal," Arsene agreed, following her.  She noticed Lotus had grabbed her sword, but assumed she knew what she was doing.  They tapped on the door, getting the monitor.  "We need to talk to Ishi."

"He's in quarantine, as you two should be," she chastised.

"Something ate my roommate and another girl.  The traces say that they're coming for a boy next.  Ishi's not the target, but you'll want someone over here to protect him."  She stepped inside, going right to the boy's common area and to the boy, kneeling in front of him.  "There was a message in my shower, under the blood," she said quietly.  "It's coming for you next.  I want you to stay with Ishi all night.  Even if you sleep on his floor, that's fine."  The boy nodded, pale and shaking.  "I don't care what it is. You don't let it in.  You tell him if you hear or feel anything odd.  You have him call me if you see the thing."  She traced something on his forehead.  "Now, let's go."  He nodded, following her to Ishi's room.  She tapped before walking in.  "He's next.  Guard him," she ordered.  "It's a Mom event and Marcus won't be up for another day."

"Fine," Ishi agreed.  "Any idea what?"

"Big, dark, leathery wings."

"Demonic?"

"Probably.  Dark, claws.  Looks a lot like those pictures of living gargoyles we saw last year.  Very dark, like a shadow. Keep him safe and call me."  He nodded, motioning the boy inside.  Lotus walked out and went back to the girls' side, noticing the headmistress following.  "Even if we catch the girls, the creatures may not stop.  Uncle Marcus said so. He's on his way up."  She found the door with the marks on it and stepped inside, wincing at the flash of magic that blinded her other senses.  "Fuck," she said dryly, making Arsene shiver.  Lotus didn't swear.  She found something in there and examined it.  "Long blonde hair. Natural."  She held it up.

"That length can probably only be Persimon."

"No, it's not.  It's broken off.  This is an old setup.  I can feel the age.  The anger."  She looked around, then shivered and backed out, bowing at the doorway.  "Seal it.  Only Marcus gets in here unless it's Mom.  Preferably Marcus."  The Headmistress locked the door again and put a padlock on it.  "Find the girls who go in there and we'll find the reason.  We may also find the cure."  She looked up, pointing at the cameras.  "They'll tell you."

"We'll look at the tapes right now," the Headmistress promised.  "Wait here, ladies."

"Of course."  They sat down, on either side of the door.  Arsene looked at Lotus.  "You're scary when you're working that way."

"Shit happens," she said dryly.  "I feel like I'm channeling someone too."

"Sounds like Mom."

"It does," she agreed, lighter feeling now.  "Then again, mom is a medium."

"I thought he was an extra large."

Lotus groaned and glared at her. "Not that way."

"Sorry," she said with a grin.  "Needed to break the tension."

"Good point."  They looked up as Melissa joined them.  "The next was a boy."

"The science teacher found another note, it'll be a girl too.  We've already got her guarded, Arsene."

"Figures, she's one of the last pure ones in this school but me and Lotus."

"That may change," Lotus noted dryly.  "There'll be a rash of fixing that because of this."

"True," Melissa agreed.  She would be if this thing was coming after her. "Now what?"

"We wait."

"Fine."

"Hey, at least Mom trained us in this stuff," Arsene offered.  "Think about having to wait for a slayer to come from the US."

They all shuddered, there would be some very dead virgins if that were the case.

***

Marcus strode up to the gate, nodding politely.  "I'm here to fix the tragedy in the making."

"You are, sir?"

"Marcus.  Uncle to Lupin the Fourth.  The Headmistress is expecting me."

"Let me call, sir."  He called up to the school.  "Ma'am, we have a Marcus..."  He hung up and found Marcus walking on already.  "She said go to her office, sir, they found the work area," he called after him.  Marcus nodded, waving back at him.  "What now?" he complained.  "First a really injured girl, now this stuff?"  He looked around as he felt a chill, crossing himself and going back inside. It was cold out there.

Marcus walked into the office and bowed.  "I'm here to help.  Where and who's next?"

"They identified two students from the remarks on the wall.  Ishi has one since the students are in lock down.  The girls are watching the other, who is Arsene's roommate.  Lotus identified the room and we've found the people who go in there."  She handed over the pictures they had printed off. "Lotus and Arsene are guarding the door.  I've got it padlocked but I'm sure they can pick it by now."  He nodded, smiling at her.  "Stop this thing, Marcus.  I won't have this in my school."

"I don't blame you.  I know a priest who can come up over the holidays to resanctify that room.  I'll call him on your behalf."  He walked off, heading for where he could feel the tracer he had put on the children.  He smiled at them.  "Open it please."

"It's shocking," Lotus warned as she got up.  Arsene turned and picked the locks, before getting up and waving him inside.  Marcus stopped and gasped.  "That's my feeling too. It's like it glows."

"Cancel that, Lotus."

"After dinner.  Just in case I find more kids who're marked."

"I can do that, cancel the seeing spell."  He opened the bag he had over his shoulder, moving it so it was hanging under his arm and he could grab things quickly.  He pulled out the squeeze bottle of holy water and took a deep breath before moving inside and starting off. "This will take a while."

"Yay.  We can wait," Arsene assured him.  "Better safe than sorry."  Someone behind them screamed so she turned and punched her, knocking her out. "Pity," she noted.  "Morning, princess of evil."  Marcus handed back the pictures.  "Ah.  The ones after us, Lotus."  She handed over the pictures, then got down to bind this one up. It was going to take someone skilled in Celtic knots to get her free. "We can get the others at dinner."

"It won't stop the creatures," Marcus noted.

"That's why one's with Ishi and one's with Melissa," Lotus said calmly, studying the faces.  She knew two of the three.  She felt calm and at peace and knew it was her job to take the other two out.  She went up to the floor those two were on, knocking on their door.  Then she stepped inside and sealed them in to deal with them.  When she came out an hour later, the girls were crying and pleading, but they weren't going to do anything else like that.   She went to hand the pictures to their hall monitor, letting her handle them.  Then she went back to the room.  "They're handled," she said simply.

"Fine," Arsene agreed.  "I don't need to know what you did. It'd probably make me sick."  She looked over as Ishi came out with the boy and Melissa drug the girl, both of them holding their heads.  "They're still not safe."

"Fine.  We can guard them in a different room later," he offered.

"I can guard them better," Marcus noted as he worked.  He pulled out another bottle of holy water and back to drawing over the marks on the floor.  "Get them fed, get them bathed, get them into a closed room."

"If they break the primary reason for their choice, will that help?" Arsene asked.  Marcus gave her a long stare.  "Would it?"  He nodded.  She looked at the duo.  "They got you because you're virgins."

"I can fix that," the girl agreed, pulling both boys with her.

"Not with me!" Ishi said, letting her have the other kid.  He needed it more.  She continued to drag him off.  Ishi looked at the other girls, who just smirked at him.  "You two, shut it."

"Hey, you're the fixer of choice for that problem," Arsene joked.  "I'd be honored."

"While I am, we'd still be in there when the next attack happened and that would still leave one person who needed the help."  He sat against the wall, looking into the room.  "That's gross."

"It is," Lotus agreed.  "The other two will not continue either," she said calmly.  He smirked at her.  "So I went badass on them.  They deserved it."

"They did," Ishi agreed.

"Hey, Ishi, have you ever been to a peep show?  I'm wondering what goes on in those."  He gave Arsene a long stare so she shrugged.  "There's all sorts of smut about what goes on back there."

"I'd take you but you'd end up servicing all the men back there," he said dryly.  "For your information, there's a booth, you slide in coins, you want a movie, most people wank off.  Others like to come watch you wank off.  They also offer to help.  I had to very politely point out that I was straight to the guys in there, a few times, before I could escape."  The girls stared at him in awe.  "I am, I like girls.  I like how girls taste and how they sound.  I'm not going to try guys when I've found what I want."

"Sure, Ishi," Melissa agreed with a smirk.  "First time?"

"Fourth or fifth," he admitted.  "With the pro I hired after that.  I had to relieve it somehow."

"Where were you?"

"LA, chasing after Mom," he said dryly.  "It's also who told me I should get the leather pants."

"Where was your first time?" Lotus asked.

"Vegas.  Mom had stopped there and I had lost him so I went out to go clubbing.  I got propositioned and offered and pleaded with until I finally asked where to get that stigma off myself.  I found the best whorehouse, had to prove I was old enough with my fake ID, almost walked out when the woman made fun of me, paid her for a good few hours, then felt much better and went clubbing again.  Anything else you needed to know?"

"Does Dad know?"

"Yes, and he said he was disappointed.  That I should have found a real geisha if I had wanted something like that."  He stared his sister down.  "You know how Dad is."

"I do," she agreed.  "I've got to find a boyfriend."

"Wait until after the holidays," Arsene offered. "Has anyone realized mine's about six weeks after we get back?"

"Your father was counting on a full ten months."

"Yay.  He said my sixteenth birthday.  That's in June.  Not in August.  No matter how he miscounts it."  She smirked at Melissa.  "I've got to narrow down my choices for that."

"You do, and remember, we're supposed to be having sex at home so they know we're using condoms and birth control."

Arsene smirked.  "I know."  They heard Marcus moan and laughed.  "Maybe I'll call Madam Domini and get her recommendations.  She seems like the sort to know where to go.  Either that or I'd have to ask Mom."

Marcus stepped out of the room. "Can't you wait?"

"Hell no!  I've held off this long, my innate curiosity is going to make me go mad soon.  I'm the one who nearly went into the bathroom at a club at ten to figure it out, Marcus."

"Please, spare the rest of the world and wait," he pleaded.  "Just for another year?"

"No!  Not unless I'm going to jump Melissa!"

"I'd kill you," Melissa reminded her.  "I love you, Arsene, but not like that.  I've known you for *way* too long for that."

"Oh, I don't know, you were cute when you used to suck on her nose," Ishi taunted with a small grin for her. "She was your favorite pacifier other than your dad's fingers."

"Eww," Lotus noted.  "Some of us don't need to hear about the baby lesbian adventures of those two.  It's bad enough we had to watch Sierra try to invade Savannah's diapers now and then."

"Infants are odd, but I think you children were worse than any other I've seen," Marcus complained, turning to go back to work.  He shrieked and Lotus came in, slamming the door shut to deal with the creatures. They'd want her more anyway.

"Hmm, maybe we should find her someone," Ishi said dryly.  "Dad would be furious, but it's probably going to be necessary."

"Maybe we can call someone from that realm where that teacher came from," Melissa suggested with a small smirk.  "They used to diaper dive?"

"Infants like to play with their diapers and what's underneath.  Sierra decided that Savannah's was more fun than hers was."

"No, she's not a Lupin at all," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"I wonder how she's doing with married life?" Arsene said smugly.  "Hopefully she's thoroughly broken him in by now."

"Don't mention that around Lotus, she's still pissed at her for taking Morgan."

"She didn't want him."

"Morgan was her first crush, that's always more personal," Ishi reminded her.  The door slammed open and Lotus came out covered in black tar looking stuff.  "You okay?"

"They're dead.  Nasty things.  I'm off for a shower."

"Sure, use mine," Melissa offered.  "You can even sleep in my room tonight."  Lotus nodded, going to do that and steal some clothes.   She shuddered.  "Eww."

"Very ewww," Ishi agreed, peering into the room. "Uncle Marcus, are you all right?" he called.  He got a moan.  "Uncle Marcus?"  He stood up and leaned into the room.  "Hey, you okay?"  The man was covered in ick but looked up at him.  "Lotus went to shower.  You okay?  You can use mine if you want."

"Please," he agreed. He struggled to his feet, grabbing his bag.  "They're going to be cleaning this room for years."

"I'm sure Lotus left those two girls alive so maybe they'll be cleaning this room for years."  He resisted the urge to touch or pat him but did lead the way to his room.  The boys' hall monitor gave him an odd look.  "He cleaned up the things that were going to eat the kids.  By the way, they're curing the reason for their inclusion.  He's going to use my shower."  He let him into his room and put out a clean towel and sweats for him.  He'd probably need them anyway. He went to join the girls in the hallway again.  "Lunch?"

"Lunch," Arsene agreed, getting up and following him down to the dining hall.

Melissa slammed the door shut, following along after them, smirking at Ishi's back.  Sometimes he was such a guy.

***

Goemon looked up as his wife came in with a cup of tea for him, nodding his thanks as he took it.  "Thank you, Fujiko."

"You're welcome. You looked like you could use some cheering up."  She sat down beside him on the bed, stroking over his arm.  "How are you feeling?"

"Upset.  Our children are growing up too fast.  First Lotus is grown and now Kenji has decided he's too old to be tucked in.  Soon he will not want to cuddle and then shortly after that, Yu will not want to cuddle.  Then they'll want to go out for field training."  He took a sip of the tea.  "I hate them aging."

"All children age, Goemon," she reminded him patiently.  He was pouting, it was disturbing.  "Then you'll get grandchildren and there'll be three generations at once, and if you're really lucky you'll live to see your great-grandchildren."

Goemon gave her an odd look.  "Think of what you just said.  Four generations of the group at once?"  She shivered at the look in his eyes.  "I cannot see Arsene or Melissa putting up with children, much less grandchildren."  He took another sip of tea and put the mug aside.  "How are you feeling? You haven't plotted in days."

"No, I'm considering what I've learned about the girls.  They're really that good?"  Goemon nodded.  "How?"

"They've been working together since they were eight.  Lupin was against pushing them but the children did it before we could stop them. Long before we could stop them actually," he admitted quietly.  "They move and grow so fast, they do not appreciate the youth they had until they were teenagers, and then they appreciated it and slowed down after Lupin set his foot down.  She is a true heir to the line however.  Just as he is and as his grandfather was."  He picked up her hand to hold, squeezing it gently.  "Some day, she will have a child and hopefully it will not be like Lupin's father did and she hands the child to him to raise."

"He said he wouldn't."

"He would never let a child of his suffer.  Neither would Xander.  If one did not take the child, the other would instantly.  Possibly before they could see whether or not the mother could handle it."

"Yeah, but we've still got Alex."

"Janus said that Alex was going to have an unplanned child and be brought into slaying that way.  It is unfair but necessary apparently.  That will not be a happy time."

"But she'll be fine."

"She will be.  Xander will make sure of it.  Once she learns how to hit a target."  She snorted.  "She is young yet and we think she needs glasses."  He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.  "We were sorry to lose Sarah so soon.   She is happier up there, but it is still a loss."

"It's been a hard semester," she offered gently.  He nodded.  "Plus, this summer wasn't that easy.  Not to mention Lupin moping over Xander.  What's with him anyway?  He knows Lupin would do anything for him."

"Anything but pay attention to him, sleep with him, or love him," he said quietly.  "That is why Xander took up with Alan.  He left the night of the meet-and-greet and went out to get drunk.  He met Alan then."

"It's still dumb!  Lupin wants him, he's begging, he never begged me!"

"Still, Xander took him back in the past.  The same pattern happened.  Even when he was in the choker.  Lupin would pay attention and then his attention would be taken by something and Xander would be left again.  At one point, Lupin nearly attacked him.  He got upset at him and took him in the hall roughly."  She blanched.  "Lupin and Jigen both love him, it is clear to all of us, including Xander.  Jigen cannot touch him and Lupin didn't touch him.  They made their own beds in the matter.  Alan is very good to him however.  I like Alan.  He's a nice man and he adores the children the same way Xander does.  He sat down with me to help clean up Yu when he got a scrape because Xander was getting some damp paper towels."

"Fine, but I still think he'd be happier with Lupin."

"Perhaps, but then comes the miserableness afterwards."  He almost added more but stopped himself before he could embarrass himself or let out feelings he wasn't sure she was ready for yet.  "What will we do when Yu starts desiring girls?"

"Give him the talk and get drunk?"

"Quite possibly," he agreed, smiling at her.  He got his tea and finished it off, then laid down again, pulling her closer. "What are you thinking about?"

"Using Melissa's coming out party to case a bunch of royals."

"Perhaps but we've sworn to keep that part of our lives away from Xander's manor house.  The butler and maid requested it as did the former owner.  When there, he is merely Xander.  We don't even have weapons or bullets there."  She grimaced.  "It is something that he respects them for.  They did not sign on to be the butler and maid of a world famous thief.  Even the children respect that.  I believe Melissa was going to be disguising herself a bit.  Perhaps dye her hair a bit lighter or something."  He snuggled into her shoulder.  "We should rest.  The children will be up in very few hours."

"Yeah, they will be," she sighed, getting comfortable.  She noticed Goemon let her get comfortable before moving back against her.  "You...you wanted to cuddle?"

"If you would not mind."

"N..no.  I, um, don't mind."  He smiled up at her then closed his eyes, getting comfortable on her shoulder.  She laid there, thinking about it.  Thinking about that deep feeling she kept trying to stamp back down, but it kept floating back up. She cared for him a lot.  She might still love him.  He obviously loved her.  Women were supposed to be the emotional ones but Goemon had committed much more deeply to their relationship than she had.  She was his princess and he had always treated her that way.  Even after all she had done recently he was still in love with her.  A samurai in love was a force stronger than nature it seemed and she might have to let those feelings back out.  She touched them, testing their depth, and was surprised at how deeply she did feel about him.  She might actually love him as much as he did her.

"Sleep, Fujiko.  You can think more on the morrow," Goemon said quietly.

"Sure, Goemon."  She wrapped herself around him and closed her eyes, letting him comfort her and keep the nightmares away.  Maybe the kids had been right to torture her for what she had done.  That was a thought for another time.  She shifted a bit and felt her husband's body respond to her, making her blush.  Those memories were very clear to her.  She remembered how good Goemon was in bed.

"Sleep, Fujiko.  Before something happens that prevents it," he whispered in her ear.  "There is time for those thoughts as well."  She nodded, kissing the skin she was resting against. "Thank you.  Rest."  She nodded, closing her eyes again.  He blushed as she pushed closer to his body, controlling his desire before it broke his control.  Before he did something that she was not ready for yet.

"Relax, Goemon.  I'm not going to jump you."

He tipped her face up to kiss her.  "I cannot promise the same, wife.  Sleep, so I may."  She smiled at him before kissing him again.  He moaned and clutched her closer, letting her take control.  If she wanted him this way he would not complain.

***

Xander heard Goemon and groaned, pulling a pillow over his head.  Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and grabbed some clothes, his wallet, his keys, and snuck out of the house.  He remembered to reset the alarm.  His sportscar was right up front so he took that one, heading toward the city.  He had to find something to do and it had been a long time since he'd done anything on his own.  Maybe some clubbing?  No, maybe some water watching?  It helped him think sometimes.  No, if he had wanted that, he could sit and stare at the pond while he fed the fish.  Karaoke?  That was something he hadn't done in many years and he did feel depressed enough.  Alan hadn't answered him in two days.  He had called him but he hadn't answered his voicemail either.  Since no news program said something had happened to him....  He had to believe that Alan was just really busy or thinking.  Alan was the sort who'd tell him if he had been dumped.  He shifted up when he realized he was going the speed limit and there was no traffic on the roads.  Yeah, some karaoke would be for the best.  If only he knew of somewhere that had good songs.

***

Lupin heard Xander in the hall and grimaced.  Then he heard the door shut and hopped up to put on clothes and follow him.  He was doing his tie as he made it down to his car.  He could just barely see the taillights of Xander's sports car in the dark.  He hopped into the roadster so he could follow him.  Xander hadn't been happy all day.  Even the kids calling hadn't put him in a good mood.  Even Kenji giving him a hug and a cuddle earlier hadn't helped for more than a moment. He wondered what was wrong, but Xander wasn't going to tell him when they weren't together.  He barely had opened up when they had been together. He sped up when he saw Xander speed up, watching his speed gauge.  He was in a reckless mood too it seemed.  Must be something with Alan then.  Where was he going?  He hadn't turned to go to the local club they usually went to.  He sped up as Xander did again, grimacing at his recklessness.  Hopefully the boy wouldn't be crashing into something small, like a bridge or a building, since he wasn't paying attention.

He flipped on the radio to keep him company, lowering the volume so it wasn't blaring.  Jigen must have had it on while he had washed the car earlier.  He saw Xander take a curve too sharply and swore quietly.  He backed off some, figuring the boy was paranoid about being followed.  That meant he lost Xander but he had a bug on the car. Or hopefully he did if Jigen had done his job correctly.  He opened up the glove box and found the transmitter, smiling at the strong blips heading for the city.  Reims, interesting.  Not his usual place to go sulk.  Art and history buffs loved it there.  He'd been a few times but hadn't found anything he couldn't live without.  He sped up as the blip started to fade, hoping he wouldn't lose Xander.  It was still a drive, nearly as long as to Paris.

***

Xander pulled up outside a bar that advertised a karaoke night.  At least it was still open even though it was pretty late.  He walked up to the front door and tried it but it was locked.  The lights went out so apparently someone was in there but it was closed.  He got back into his car and went cruising for another one.  There had to be a karaoke bar somewhere!

***

Lupin had caught up with Xander and read the signs on the bar, raising an eyebrow, mouthing the word 'karaoke' to himself.  He shook his head and called a contact he had locally who owned a bar, having him open back up.  It was in Xander's path and he could come in to watch him.  It was the middle of the week so he wouldn't expect a big crowd but the place had a lot of nice dark corners.   He parked around the back when he noticed Xander's car in the parking lot.  He walked in the back door, handing the bartender and owner a few hundred.  It was the standard bribe.  "What's he doing?" he asked quietly.

"Flipping through the book, muttering about needing sappy stuff.  You're about the only one here tonight, Lupin.  He your boy?"

"That's Lavelle.  And yeah, he is," he said with a small grin.  He got a beer and went to a quiet corner where he could see the stage.  The few other people watched as Xander made his choice and the music started.  A few of them groaned when the love song came on.  Foreigner?  So he was upset about Alan for some reason.  Lupin took a sip of the beer, grimacing at the watered down stuff.  He put it aside and settled in to listen to Xander sing.  He wasn't half-bad.  Not great, a little rough sounding.  The next song wasn't much better, it was another eighties love song.   At least it wasn't the country music Xander listened to when they first got together, his sad music of the time.   The third song was more upbeat, Golden Earring's _Twilight Zone_.  That was almost a song about Jigen and Xander.  It made him smile.  The last one was nearly making Xander cry, _Glory of Love_ by Peter Cetera he thought.  He knew it was from one of the Karate Kid movies.  Xander dropped the microphone and went to the bar.  Lupin nodded at the bartender that he'd get it for him, waiting until Xander had gotten one shot down before walking up there.  "Come sit with me, Xander," he whispered, tugging on his arm.

"Lupin?"

"Yup, me," he said with a faint grin.  "Come on.  We've got the same idea tonight."  He walked the boy back to the table.  "Non-swill this time please, Jacques?"

"Sure, Lupin."  He brought it over to him, accepting a few bills.  "You sure?"

"Yeah, he's not driving tonight."  He waited until the bartender had gone to reach over to stroke Xander's hand.  "What's wrong?"

"Alan hasn't talked to me in a few days."  He sipped his latest drink.  "I'm being paranoid."

Lupin stroked the hand he had, making Xander pull it away. "I'm not hitting on you, Xander.  You have honor and you'd never cheat on a lover."  He took the hand back.  "You wanna talk?  It might make you feel better.  I know about being abandoned by lovers.  It happened to me for years with Fujiko," he reminded when Xander looked at him.  Xander sighed and shook his head.  "Talk to me, Xander," he said more quietly.  "I want to know about this. If you're not happy, I'm not happy.  It's not just poets that die of broken hearts."  Xander shook his head.  "Really.  It's not."

"I know," he admitted, gulping the rest of that drink and taking Lupin's.  "Since you've decided I'm not driving and all," he said with a small grin.

"It's not the first time I've been the designated driver, buddy.  How long has it been?"

"Two days.  The last one took over a day.  He's not happy that I'm supposedly wasting my hard earned money."  He took a long drink.  "He doesn't understand that this stuff makes me happy.  It's not something that I'm collecting for worth.  I don't care if none of my comics or kimonos have any resale value. I like them...."  He sighed.  "He doesn't understand."

"You collect them because they make you happy and smile.  That should be enough for your lover.  Is he pushing you to spend money on him?"

"He hates it when I spend money on him."  He looked up at his friend and boss.  "I know that you said I shouldn't take up with someone in the life, that these sort of things happen, but I love him, Lupin.  It's like an ache.  He's my drug, man."

"I understand, Xander.  I've been there a few times," he reminded him.  "Do you think he wants you to retire?"  Xander shrugged then nodded, draining that drink.  "Get another one.  You can get drunk if you need to."

"No, I'm good.  Alcohol doesn't solve anything."  He put his head down.  "I feel like shit because I'm doubting him.  I haven't heard back when I wrote him about that stupid woman who decided her mutant kid was mine.  He doesn't do more than give the groupies a tolerant look.  It's fucking with my head."  He looked up again.  "I feel like shit, Lupin."

"I understand, Xander.  They say that women are the more emotional ones, but men always commit more deeply when they do commit to loving.  That's why I've thought my heart was breaking when you left me."  Xander moaned, rubbing his face. "I'm not pushing it, just pointing out that I've been there, recently even."   He leaned forward.  "Would flying out there help?  You've got a few days before Melissa's party."

"No, it wouldn't.  I invited him but I'm not sure if he can come or not."  He groaned and got up to get another drink, this time a regular beer.  He came back and sank down again.  "I feel like a burlap bag of exposed nerve endings. I know something's going on.  I asked him to tell me if he cheated, that I'd understand if he found someone out there while he was filming, just to let me know and we'd talk after the filming was done to see if it was a one- time thing or not.  He grimaced but he promised me."  He pushed his beer away.  "I'm tired of my love life sucking.  Love is a fucking demon."

"Only in this family," he soothed.  "That's how you know you're meant to be with us," he offered, hoping for a laugh.  He got a small grimace. "Do you think he is?"  Xander nodded.  "Why?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty sure he is."  He looked up at him. "It's the same feeling I had when you first started to go out on me."

"I'm sorry as hell about that, Xander," he said quietly.  "I was out of my mind to toss over someone like you.  I don't know why I did it and I'm sorry as hell that I hurt you so badly."  He patted him on the hand again.  "Why are you back with the demons?" he asked, hoping to change subject.

"Because I'm dealing with the more minor ones.  Yeah, I know, Jigen's upset that I'm using Hell's library, but it's handy.  It keeps me from having to bug Ethan.  Ethan was getting pissed at being an information and go-to guy, so I found another source.  I'm a good enough researcher."  He put his head back down. "I'm sorry if it bothers you too."

"No, it doesn't, it was worrying us.  Remember, we saw you healing," he said gently.  Xander shuddered.  "Xander, you can talk to me about *anything*, you know that right?  I mean, how many other people saw how badly you were tortured and tried to be there for you?  How many of them wanted to be yours from the start, to help you heal and move on?"

"You and Jigen.  Faith wanted to but I excluded her.  Dawnie started to but then she got her own life."  He looked up at him.  "You're going to make me cry."

"I don't want to make you cry, Xander.  I want to make you feel better.  Of course, if that's going to make you feel better, go ahead."

"No, it won't. I hate crying.  I've given up on that."  He felt the gentle hand stroke over his hair and looked at his friend.  "Don't."

"Sorry."  He moved his hand.  "I wanted to comfort you and I know you won't let me hug you."

"No, probably not.  If I did, then Alan would definitely be pissed and kill me."  He put his head back down.  "We should leave.  Did you have him stay open?"

"Yeah.  We can do that if you want take a few bottles to a local hotel?"  Xander shrugged.  "Okay, we'll do that."  He got up to get them something, taking Xander out to his car.  "Keys?"  Xander handed over his keys.  "I'll give them back in the morning, I promise."  He backed out of the parking lot and headed for the nearest hotel, checking them in quickly.  He even got them a double room.  That way Xander wouldn't get nervous about sharing one with him.  He helped his friend up the stairs and into the room, watching as Xander flopped down onto one of the beds.  He closed and locked the door, then sat across from him, taking off his shoes so he could cross his legs.  "You wanna talk some more?"

"Maybe," he said quietly, looking at him.  "Jigen and I talked like this all the time.  Though we usually only had a single bed."

"No wonder you had a big crush on him," Lupin said lightly.

"He was probably the first person who *wanted* to understand me, Arsene. It's like he was a confidant and friend and big brother all rolled into one.  I was actually the focus of his attention a third of the time.  It was heady and new and exciting. I'd have done anything for Jigen in those days."

"Now?"

"Now, I probably still would.  I respect Jigen on whole new levels.  He put up with me."

"I put up with you too, Xander.  Even the bounciness.  Does Alan?"  Xander shrugged.  "You don't know?"

"There haven't been any real crises since we got together.  We haven't had a 'kidnap Xander' month.  We haven't had a really bad 'we're going to hunt and kill the Xander' moment in a few years. I can't blame him for not wanting to be part of my life with you guys and the kids, but he's doing really well fitting himself in as someone who's there but not part of it, us.  I'm babbling."

"No, you're not.  This is how you work out things best.  I can listen," Lupin promised.  "Didn't I listen when you needed to talk about the torture stuff?"

"That's another thing he can't understand.  He can't understand how I could go to the demon library when they did that to me.  How I can do anything but slay them.  He doesn't even understand how I can be around the kitsune."  He looked up at him.  "Is it that hard to understand?"

"No," he admitted.  "It's not.  Some of that's a necessity.  You've managed to kill a lot of the higher hosts of hell over what they did to you and none of the ones you deal with now could or would have been part of that.  You're dealing with the general citizens of hell, not the leaders."

"Exactly!  And he doesn't see that there's a difference!"  He sat up and looked at his former boyfriend.  "Why can you understand that and he can't?"

"Because he thinks it'll only hurt you more, Xander," he said gently.  "He doesn't want to see you hurt again.  He thinks you're too special to hurt."  He heard a chirp and looked around before patting himself down for his phone. "Not mine, I don't have mine."

Xander pulled out his phone to look at it.  "It's Alan," he sighed, answering it.  "Hi."  He rolled his eyes.  "Slightly drunk after singing power ballads at a karaoke bar.  No, I'm in a hotel.  What's up?"  He listened to the giddy voice.  "Then you need to be there."  Another pause while he listened. "No, babe.  I don't want you to hurt your career.  If you turn them down this time they might not ask again.  You go ahead and do what you have to do.  I'll tell Melissa you can't be there.  Yeah, the rest of us will be.   No, it's not a problem.  I'm sure she'll pout but I'll make sure she knows it's your career."  He sighed.  "No, I convinced him that it couldn't be mine and that there was a sample he could test it against if he got pushy.  Yeah, so I let him deal with Interpol."  He grimaced.  "No, I didn't know that a reporter asked you about me today.  Are you okay with that?"   He listened to his boyfriend tell him it didn't matter, but he knew it did.

"Alan, stop," he said gently.  "I know it is, babe.  People look at you differently.  It's hurting your career, isn't it?"  He sighed and curled up, holding his head.  "Then the only fair thing I can do is break it off and let others know that I broke it off so you could have a career."  He heard the quiet protest, but something told him his now-ex was a bit relieved.  "Alan, I love you, I can't do that to your career.  You'd be miserable if you couldn't do your comedy or acting.  We both know that.  I'm being realistic, Alan.  It's hurting your career.  I refuse to do that to you.  You'd make a miserable mafia spouse, Alan.  Yes, I have been drinking, but no, I'm not drunk.  I've been thinking about this for the entire two-and- a-half hour drive from the house to Reims."  He flopped backward.  "No, I know what I'm saying, Alan.  I'm not hurting your career by making people give you funny looks?  They're not thinking twice about hiring you because you've got a dangerous boyfriend and they can't be sure you won't be snatched or killed because of me?  No one's decided against using you because they don't know that I won't show up and taint their set and the other stars, thereby putting them under investigation?  I know very well they have.  You're a great actor, Alan," he said roughly.  "You're a wonderful comedian.  You're a terrible lair though."  He smiled a bit.  "Thanks.  Yeah, I'm sure.  I want you to be happy and productive, Alan.  No, I won't do anything stupid.  Lupin's got my keys.  No, he followed me."

A short pause.  "Probably not.  Why?"  He grimaced. "He's not in the room with me, Alan.  Are you suddenly a sentinel?" he taunted.  "Then trust me, he's not in the room with me.  No, Alan, I'm not going to go downstairs to get him from the bar.  Fine.  Whatever.  Yeah, I know," he sighed.  "It's been obvious to me.  Whatever.  Like I said, whatever.  Just be happy, Alan.  You need to be happy.  You can still write me and things, I wouldn't mind. I might even show up at some of the shows.  Remember, if you need me, I'm there for you still.  Even after this."  He hung up and threw his phone at the mirror, breaking them both.  "They've turned him down for parts because of me."  He laid back down.  "I'm a fucking prick."

"You're not," Lupin said calmly.  "You just saved him a lot of trouble from a lot of people.  You can even threaten them to treat him right over there.  There are some mafia dons in LA.  A few who even work in the studio systems."

"Maybe," Xander agreed, curling up on his side again, a small ball of misery.  "What liquor did you get?"

"Scotch mostly.  One of vodka.  I know you prefer it when you're emotional."  He got up and got the bottles, bringing them over, then laid down behind Xander to hold him.  Xander always needed to be comforted.  He liked doing this for him.  The boy slowly relaxed in his arms.  "It doesn't mean more than a cuddle," he promised.  "Not if you don't want it to."  Xander shrugged and flipped over, curling up on his chest.  "You rest, Xander.  We'll call the house tomorrow to tell Jigen where we are."

"He'll figure we're together."

"Maybe.  Either that or you ran away and I'm chasing you.  Or something happened to one of the kids."

"Or we went to torture Gramps.  By the way, Arsene asked for someone like him to chase her.  She said she'd paint, tie up, and dangle off a bridge anyone who wasn't like him."

"It's seductive to have someone so obsessed about you chasing you.  Gramps has gone through the ninth circle of hell for us in the past while trying to capture us.  We've almost been killed a number of times during a near-capture.  We were actually bombed once by the US Navy."

"Why?"

"He had handcuffed us together when the Navy attacked Mamo's island.  I didn't have time to uncuff us so we went together."  He stroked Xander's back, making him let out a small moan.  "Want a backrub?"

"No thanks.  This is good."

"Sure, Xander, whatever you need."  He gave him a squeeze.  "I saw Jigen looking at your copy of the Gay Joy of Sex."

"So he's found another guy he likes?"

"No, Xander, he wants to take you back and he's working on his shit so he can do that," he said dryly, frowning down at him.  "Why did Alan want to talk to me?"

"He thought you'd be jumping me to comfort me, wanted to encourage it.  He said he knew I still loved you two."

"It's clear you do and you've said you do in the past," Lupin agreed.  "It's my own fault, Xander.  I'm a fuckup."

"No," he sighed.  "I could have gotten demanding and I didn't."  He wiggled a bit.  "Can we change the topic to a happier one?"

"Should we visit Epemay on the way home to get some special champagne?"

"Yeah, probably," he said tiredly.  He yawned.  "I suck."

"You don't suck, Xander.  You tried to keep him out of the spotlight of your life.  You didn't want it to impact him, but someone figured out who you were and it did.  If he's smart, he'll tell people you were his bodyguard and pretending to be your boyfriend to protect you from someone."

"I'll suggest that to him tomorrow."

"He's a smart guy, he'll figure it out," Lupin promised, stroking Xander's back again.  "You sleep.  We'll call the house tomorrow.  Jigen can tell the kids and Goemon."  He continued to stroke him until he felt Xander go limp and the quiet snores start.  He wanted to get up and dance in joy but he knew that Xander wasn't going to automatically come back to his bed.  He was pretty, young, and more than ready to have sex.  He could find someone else.  He could go back to visiting people he had to pay for pleasure.  Or he could come back to him.  He'd have to work harder than ever to get Xander back.  The room phone rang so he answered it with a quiet 'hello'.  He listened.  "No, he's not fit to drive so we left it at the bar.  Please don't tow it. I've got his keys if I need to move it."  He listened. "That's fine, I'll come get it."  He hung up and kissed the top of Xander's head.  "I've got to get your car.  I'll be back in about twenty minutes," he said when Xander looked up at him.  "Does this one have a security system?"  Xander nodded. "How do I defeat it?  So I'm not electrocuted?" he asked with a small grin.

"Blue button under the handle.  You can just barely feel it.  It's usually under my third finger," he said quietly.  "Press the keychain remote's door button at the same time."  He moved.  "Only a half hour?"

"It's only three blocks away and there's not much traffic tonight," Lupin said lightly.  "Give me a few.  Want me to curl up with you when I get back?"  Xander nodded so he smiled.  "Sure, Xander."  He jogged out, heading for the elevator.  By the time he got back, Xander was under the blankets wearing only a pair of boxer shorts.  Lupin skimmed down to his and crawled in behind him, only holding him.  He wasn't going to presume and his hands weren't going to wander.  No matter how much he wanted them to. Xander needed to be held, not touched.  Not yet anyway.  Maybe in the morning.

***

Jigen woke up and frowned. It was too quiet.  He grabbed his gun as he stood up, lighting his first cigarette as he made it into the hallway.  He found Goemon looking in Xander's room.  "What's wrong?" he asked quietly.

"He's not here, but Yu apparently needed cuddled," he said, pointing inside and smiling.

Jigen glanced in then grinned, getting him the camera.  Yu was curled up on the clothes Xander has tossed onto the bed last night.  He had even arranged it so one of the sleeves was over his back. He watched as Goemon took a few pictures. "Is he already up?"

"No.  Lupin's gone as well," he admitted, handing the camera back.  "I haven't checked the answering machine yet."  They headed downstairs to check the machine in the office, finding a quiet Lupin on it.

"Jigen, I followed Xander when he went to do karaoke last night.  He and Alan broke up.  We're in Reims.  We'll stop in Epemay on the way back so we'll be back later in the afternoon.  Xander's pretty torn up.  He was hurting Alan's career so Xander told him that they were breaking up due to that.  See you when we get back. He's got his sports car and I've got my roadster."  The line disconnected.

"Xander sings karaoke?" Goemon asked, looking confused.

"Only when he's *real* upset," Jigen warned.  "I'm betting he depressed some people there last night."  He rubbed his eyes.  "We can handle the kids for the morning, right?"

"Of course."  They headed back up, Goemon climbing in to hold his son for a few moment so he'd wake up slowly.  Otherwise his son would be crankier than a bear all day.  He looked up as Jigen snapped a few more pictures.  "Desist."

"But you're cute, Goemon," he teased.

Yu yawned and blinked up at his father.  "Daddy?  You snuggle unclie too?"

"No, I came in to snuggle you. Your uncle isn't home at the moment."  He pointed at the empty pajamas.  "You could have come to our bed."

"You and mommy noisy, daddy.  Not want to bother you."  He flipped over and snuggled into his father's chest, yawning into it.  "I nap now?"

"If you'd like, or you could get up for breakfast."

"Early, daddy."

"Fine, son.  Would you like to cuddle on my bed?"  His son nodded so Goemon got up and took his son into his and Fujiko's room, letting him cuddle between him and his sleeping mother.  Fortunately she had put something on after they had gotten done last night.

Jigen went to check on the kids, shaking his head at how Kenji was laying.  He used the camera to capture that too, smirking at the unhappy grunt he got for the noise.  "Go back to sleep, Kenji.  We're just doing a bed check."  Kenji flipped onto his side and got comfortable, snuggling back in.  Fred was in his sister's bed with his teddy bear, but that was fine.  Jigen went down to type an email to his daughter about Xander and Alan, then went back to bed on the couch.  That way he'd be unbothered for longer.

***

Fujiko woke up to the feeling of someone sucking on her breast and looked down, blinking a few times at her sleeping son.  "What are you doing?" she asked quietly.

"He does that in his sleep still," Goemon said quietly.  "It's comforting to him.  Pull away slowly."  She nodded and pulled away, making Yu whine but he found his thumb instead.  "Thank you for not screaming at him."

"It was shocking, Goemon, but not disturbing.  It's not like I woke up and found Lupin in here doing it."

"He followed Xander to Reims last night.  Xander and Alan broke up while they were there."

"Then there's hope for them to get back together."

"There may be," he agreed.  "He'll need to take it slowly.  Xander is fragile."  He noticed her eyes went wide and moved the son himself this time, whispering in his ear.  "You are weaned, son, you do not eat off the mother anymore."  He put his son down behind him, letting him cuddle up to his back.  "There, better?"

"He was okay.  It..it wasn't what I was expecting."

"It never is," he reminded her, giving her a gentle kiss. "You thought me very controlled for the longest time."

She swatted him.  "You are."

"Not always."  He stroked some hair off her cheek.  "He went to sleep with Xander since he told me we were being noisy.  Xander had left some pajamas on his bed so our son wrapped them around himself like his uncle was hugging him."

"That had to have been cute.  When did they leave?"

"Before I went to sleep.  Xander always wakes me when he sneaks past in the middle of the night."  He stroked her cheek again, then kissed her.  "What are your plans today?"

"Nothing more than the usual. Watching you with Kenji and Yu.   I'm not allowed near Alex and Bix won't let me help."

"You hurt her greatly, Fujiko.  You're lucky she didn't attack you on sight.  She is my cousin after all," he said with a touch of smugness.  "She is very good in her own right."

"Maybe," she said dryly.  "She seems like one of those delicate and proper Japanese wives."

"She will be someday soon.  We have set up an account for her retirement.  I approve of her relationship with Ray."

"Good.  Even though he's not Japanese?"

"She's happy, that is what's important.  Besides, some diversity in the bloodline is fine.  I may rant if our son does not settle down with someone who is Japanese, or at least half, but I cannot find it in myself to do more than that.  Were this the old days, I would have found myself married to my cousin instead."  She shuddered.  "I wouldn't have minded, I would have been told it was proper and ordered to do so.  She would have her duties and I mine.  That was the way it was."

"It's still not something I want to think about."  She 'eeped' when Yu attached himself again.  "Damn, Yu, you're going to be a wonderful samurai, you're very sneaky, son."  He fussed when she tried to pull away, grabbing her so she wouldn't move.  "Goemon?"

"He missed breastfeeding, Fujiko.  That's all this is.  Give it a moment and he'll stop."  He stroked his son's back, calming him back down until he released her and then he flipped his son over so he was curled up against his chest.  "He's done that to Lupin in the past as well.  When the Ancestors were in.  He also got Jigen a few times."

"Didn't Xander...."

"She was not lactating.  She did feed him so he'd learn that closeness and the desire to cuddle.  I would not allow her to take the medicines that would have started her lactating again to do so for him."  He stroked the back of his son's head, smirking down at him. "Do I taste good, son?" he asked quietly.  His son mumbled and sucked a few more times before making a disgusted face and whimpering.

"Give him here, Gomeon.  It's not upsetting me," she offered gently.  He stared at her so she shrugged. "It's helping him.  I don't mind.  It's different than what I expected. It doesn't feel like when you do it."  He shifted their son onto his back, letting him decide where he wanted to go on his own.  Like any baby, he found the nipple again and latched back on, sighing in pleasure.  "You're a very good son, Yu.  If I had been in my right mind, I would have let you do this when I had the chance."

He stroked her chin with a finger.  "There is another chance, Fujiko.  You are getting it right now," he reminded her.  "Even for that if you wish."  She shook her head, looking down at their son, who had lost the nipple and was sucking his thumb again.  "I offer it as a suggestion only."

"I know, Goemon.  I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet."

"If you should decide you are, you only have to ask."  She smiled at him.  "I know, I am transparent, but I do miss having a daughter that was small enough to cuddle."

"Yeah, I remember cuddling her now too," she admitted, moving closer to him.  She squeaked as her son latched back on, sucking for real.  "Damn, he's got to be hungry."  Goemon chuckled and removed him, putting him behind him again then pulling Fujiko against his chest so his very talented son couldn't sneak back over.  "We should rest while we can."

"We should," he agreed, stroking her back until she fell asleep.  He shifted onto his back, carefully so he wouldn't hit the baby, and watched as Yu curled up on his side, one hand playing with his hair.  "Good night, son."  His son made sucky faces at him then sighed and went back to sleep.  He was nearly asleep when he felt the small, clothed body move across his chest and attack the mother again, making him smile.  Yes, she had changed quite a lot. Maybe he would be able to have that last daughter he was promised someday soon.

***

Lupin got out of his car and opened the trunk, wincing at the broken bottles.  "Well, most of them made it," he told Xander as he pulled up beside him.  "Those potholes were murder."

"Yeah, I think some of mine broke too," he admitted.  Xander got out to open his trunk, wincing at the strong stench.  "I've got three unbroken ones so apparently I need better shocks."

"That makes a case," Lupin offered, picking up the box to carry inside. He could clean out the trunk later.  He grinned at Jigen.  "The main road's got potholes."

"Wonderful.  How bad?"

"Xander lost all but three bottles in his case," Xander said, holding up the last three bottles.

Jigen shook his head, taking them so Xander could clean out his trunk.  That would be nasty in a few hours if he didn't.   He helped Lupin load them into the wine cellar.  "Anything good happen besides the karaoke?"

"No.  I held him last night.  He needed it.  That's all I did."  He put another bottle into the diamond-shaped hole.  "Why?  Here?"

"Yu crawled in with Xander's pj's and arranged them over himself like it was his uncle holding him.  Then Goemon found him and took him in with him.  Fujiko woke up to a Yu special snack."  Lupin snorted and shook his head.  "She didn't yell."  Lupin dropped the bottle in his hands.  "Watch it!  We're gonna be out soon!"

"She didn't yell?"

"She didn't yell.  She was scratching at the nipple for a few hours, but nothing else."  He shrugged and got the rest of the bottles loaded. "You should clean your trunk."

"I should," he agreed, leaning against a nearby rack.  "What else did I miss?"

"They had loud and noisy sex last night," Xander said as he came down the stairs.  "I guess you heard?"  Jigen nodded and let him have a hug.  "Thanks."

"C'mere."  He pulled him closer, giving him a real cuddle this time.  Xander relaxed against his chest.  "You did the right thing, Xander. Even if he was the reason your heart will go on, it was the right choice."

"Thanks, Jigen.  It means a lot to hear you say that."  He pulled back but was surprised at the kiss he got.  "Jigen?" he panted.

"I'm working on it, Xander.  I've never hidden that from you.  When you're ready, I want you back."  Xander blinked at him a few times.  "I mean it."

"You really do," he said in awe, staring into his eyes.  Jigen nodded.  Xander tipped his hat back.  "Are...how are you doing this?"

"I'm thinking and looking and watching. I borrowed some of your porn and stuff."  He looked embarrassed.  "I had no idea it could be like that, Xander.  I thought it was always messy and nasty and it hurt.  I didn't know it could be tender and gentle and stuff."  He patted him on the cheek.  "If you're ready to think about us, I want considered.  No hurry but whenever you're ready."

Lupin grinned at him.  "I'm proud, Jigen."  He pulled Xander over and gave him his own kiss, making him moan.  "Ditto," he said against his lips.  "Whenever you're ready, Xander."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "How should we do the trunks?"

"Vacuum and steam cleaner," he said, looking confused.  "But..."

"No buts.  We told you we want you back.  I'm working on my shit and Lupin understands now.  So whenever you're ready to take applications, we're submitting our resumes."

"Okay," he said weakly, staring at them.

"Not today, Xander.  Not so soon after a breakup," Lupin said gently.  "Whenever you're ready to move on.  To trust someone again."  He stole a gentle kiss.  "If you can clean the glass out of them both, I'll fill up the steam cleaner."  Xander nodded, wandering back up the stairs to do that.  "Was that too soon?"

"Maybe.  I was just reminding him.   Even if you don't take him back, I want him back, Lupin."

"I'm not fighting you over him, Jigen.  He makes that decision.  He has the choice to take either of us or both of us."  He kissed Jigen, making him moan.  "Much better.  How far have you gotten?"

"I'm savin' it for him, Lupin.  Go jump the horny samurai if you're desperate."

"I'm not," he said with a grin.  "Just wondering how close you've gotten."

"I'm not telling you."

"Fine, spoil my happiness."  He kissed him again.  "I'm going to get the steam cleaner if you'll do this.  Then we'll have a case for the meet and greet the day the kids get back."   He strolled up the stairs, hands in his pockets.

Jigen shook his head to clear it.  "Lupin should be a lethal drug."

Outside, Xander was cleaning up the glass with a piece of tape.  "Lupin's a narcotic.  A very strong and powerful drug that's easy to OD on," he reminded himself.

***

Inspector Zenigata paced back and forth before his unit, who was mostly sitting on their desks, except for the new guy.  "Men, and Dawn, we've just been handed a new member.  I'm sure you've all met Suoh.  He's here because Lupin the Fourth called the Commissioner during his last rant at the press and asked to be assigned her very own inspector."  He sneered at his men, who were chuckling.  "This isn't funny, men, she wanted someone like me to chase her.  They gave us Suoh.  I expect those of you with experience to fill him in.  Especially you, Kowalski, since you saw those damaged creatures last."

"I haven't seen them since they took us both hostage, sir," he pointed out dryly, smirking at the new guy.  "Do you have a sense of humor?"

"A very small one, why?"

"Because take everything you've ever heard about Lupin the Third, and multiply it by Lavelle and double that. That's Lupin the Fourth's gang."  He shrugged.  "I see you don't understand.  Let's break it down by people.  Lupin the Fourth.  Arsene Lupin the Fourth.  First girl to hold that title.  First female thief in the family.  Just as good as her father and great-grandfather ever were.   Demented and odd daughter to Lupin the Third.  Marksman, carries multiple weapons, modern and archaic, studied under Goemon since she was six."  He again shrugged.

Vecchio went next.  "Melissa Jigen, or Jigen the Second depending on who you talk to.  Daughter to Sylvia and Jigen.  Marksman.  Hates the sight of blood so she'll go for wounding blows but will not hesitate to blow you away.  She has in the past and will again.  Lupin is actually a bit worse about that by the way.  Lupin will shoot to kill.  Jigen will shoot to wound and incapacitate.  She's good enough to do it.  Tops in her Academy class for marksmanship, planning, and creating things with electronics.  Lotus Goemon.  Wiccan, only daughter to Goemon.  Recently beat Lavelle in sword combat to pass her mastery test.  Every bit her father's daughter in attitude, with a bit less structure and twisting of the stick up his ass. She fights in his style, she is a female samurai and assassin.  She's also very good at herbal concoctions and is the unofficial healer of the group."

"Let's not leave out the other one," Zenigata said bitterly.

"I was going to do him," Ray said with a smirk for him, then turned a serious look on their new comrade.  "Ishi, aka Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth.  Son of Fujiko Mine and Goemon, like his sister.  Might as well be the love child of Goemon and Lavelle.  Fights in a more flamboyant style with his sword, has his own copy of the family heirloom sword that will cut through anything.  Ishi is not only a fancon whore like his might-as-well-be mother, Lavelle, he's also fighting in Lavelle's style of fighting and he's a marksman.  Tied with Melissa at the Assassin's Academy.  Made his first four kills at nine when the kids were kidnaped.  He can and will shoot you if he doesn't believe you're worthy of his sword.  He may like us, but he's gotten us in the past.  From behind.  Without warning.  And wounded severely each and every one of us.  Likes girls, but is not distracted.  He has his father's focus and determination.  He and Lotus have been studying the martial arts since they were toddlers.  Right after they stopped walking into walls from what Lavelle said in the past.  The other two girls started around their sixth birthday.  They cross trained. Melissa can and will kick your ass with martial arts, and then grin down at you and push her hair back behind her ears."

"Been there, done that," Dawn added grimly.  "Melissa is also a planning genius.  When they went into the Academy the teacher over that class refused to let her come in because she was overriding his skills with her own and teaching the class on him.  Brilliant mind. Her father taught her and Ishi electronics to help with some things.  She's got a Fiat that might as well be a Bond car."

Zenigata grimaced.  "It's got a taser on it, watch out for that."

"Also, watch out because if you're chasing the kids, you'll have the daddies and mommy on your ass," Ray said fondly, smirking at him.   "The best way to put it is Lupins, like other creatures of mayhem and mischief, are never seen alone.  They're always either seen paired with another Lupin, or with an odd assortment of other creatures like themselves. They are never found alone, and if found alone, look for a trap."

"Also she likes to tie people up," Vecchio offered.

"How old is this crook?" Suoh asked.

"She'll be sixteen this June.  Ishi's just about to turn seventeen.  Lotus has been sixteen for a few months.  Lupin and Jigen have birthdays within a month of each other.  Their daddies said that they had to wait until sixteen so expect either a good heist or a Lupin running away from the site of his daughter having sex."

"We need to be out of Paris that day," Zenigata told his wife.  "There's no way I want Lupin to find me and cry on me."

"Sure, Zenny."  Dawn looked at the new guy.  "She did give you a warning.  She said that if you're not up to it, she'd be tying you up, painting you a pretty color, and then hanging you off a bridge.  It wouldn't be the first time."

"These crooks are children?" he asked calmly.  Everyone nodded.  "They're this high on the Most Wanted list and they're not sixteen yet?"

"Lupin the Fourth pulled her first job at eight," Ray told him.  "There was a jewel show above a fandom convention.  The kids let their fathers go, tied up the remaining adults, and went to pull the job without warning anyone.  Even their parents.  There's another hitch, her little brother Fred has just started to pull jobs.  I saw him on the bulletin board talking to his sister about his next plan.  He's not quite as quick as his sister was."

"They're realistic," Vecchio said calmly.  "They know that women in crime, unless they're going to be girlfriends or earning their riches on their backs or stealing them like Fujiko used to, have to be better than the guys.  Melissa and Arsene are that good and more.  If you watch them, you see their father's attempts to harness Lavelle in them.  The girls were mostly raised by Lavelle and Goemon.  They are exactly like their mother Lavelle at times."

"I thought Sylvia was their mother."

"They're the same person.  Lavelle had something that could let him change gender. He no longer uses it. *He* had Melissa, Savannah, Fred, Sarah, and Alex.  Savannah's now a good guy married to one of Zenny's kids.  Fred's eight and starting off.  Sarah's not with them because of her heart condition.  Alex is a slayer in training without being a slayer."

"That's another thing," Kowalski said with a smirk.  "You're gonna have to get used to the odd and unusual.  Lavelle plays at the fandom convention and he plays with demons.  Lotus is a practicing nature witch.  She's about to be presented by the way, Zenny.  Vecchio and I got invited over on a truce."

"Fine.  It can only help you to build up her file," he admitted.  "Melissa's first pickpocketing job was to pickpocket Kowalski for money for a soda."

"She paid me back in Venice."

"Good.  Finally.  These kids have stolen enough to be worth *millions* now.  Lupin the Fourth has her own plane and a former cruise ship that she bought when she was nine."

"The group went in together," Ray corrected quietly.  "They worked it out between them."  He shrugged.  "They've gotten past me, and I've known them since they were infants.  They've gotten past Vecchio and he's known them since they were young children.  They've gotten past Zenigata.  They've gotten into Interpol and out of Interpol.  They snuck a person out during shift change with the three of us in a room with the prisoner.  That was just Lupin and Lotus though."  Suoh still didn't look like he was getting it, he seemed like he wasn't scared of them.  "If you want, I know, relatively, where they'll be in a few days. Melissa is Lavelle's daughter and she's being presented to *his* empire as a coming out in a few days.  It's a black tie affair.  It'll have spies, thieves, fences, and other people there, plus the Lupin gang of the older and younger generations.  If you want, we can stake that out. It's listed as 'do not interrupt, too risky' by the Commissioner."

"Why are we afraid of these children?"

The phone rang and everyone stared at it, then Zenigata sighed and got it.  "What, crook?"  He winced and handed it over.  "It's Lupin the Fourth.  Watch out, she's got potty mouth."

Suoh took the phone.  "How did you get this number?"  He listened, his eyes going wide as she told him what his full name was, what it meant - dragon- and his statistics from Japan.  "How did you get that information?" he demanded.  "Show yourself, Lupin the Fourth, you are naught but a crook."

Vecchio moaned and stepped back, giving a last piece of advice.  "Watch out, she is a loaded weapon.  You don't want to know what she's going to say next, it'll be bad.  Very bad.  Just walk away before you get hurt."  Suoh glared at him.

"Your funeral," Kowalski told him.  "Go easy on him, Arsene, it's his first day in Interpol," he called.  He could hear her cackle all the way across the room and it made him shiver.  "Oh, damn.  You poor schmuck."

Suoh listened to her cackle then hung up.  "I will catch her, Inspector.  Do we have files on these pediatric thieves?"

Dawn picked up the stack behind her and handed them over.  "Everything we've ever gathered on the kids since they were eight.  There's some tapes in there of Ishi and Lotus fighting.  There's film from the last time Melissa got emotional and nearly killed Zenny."  He moaned and rubbed his thigh.  "There's also some tape from the pirate treasure heist.  It's not enough to get a warrant on, but it'll show you some of their personality.  It's while they were casing the museum."

"That was a proof job," Vecchio told him.  "They were counting rumors that they were going to be like Fujiko."

"Who is she?"

"One of her father's gang, mother to Ishi and Lotus," Ray Veccho said placidly.  "Wife to Goemon."

"Using, whoring woman who turned on Lupin again and again and he took her back, then she married Goemon," Zenigata told him.  "If you're going after the kids, you'll have to study their fathers as well.  They're the mini thems."  He handed over his personal stack of folders.  "I'll want those back."

"Yes, sir.  My desk?"  One was pointed at in the corner.  "Thank you.  Let me study those and I'll speak with you tomorrow about approaches to capturing them."

"Sure, ask us if it's not clear," Ray offered, sliding off the front of his desk.  "I've known them forever.  I agree, I can't catch them even if I wanted to."

Zenigata glared at him.  "I know, that's why I had you removed from the Lupin case.  Why were you in Venice?"

"We were chasing the fence, didn't know he was going for the kids," he said with a shrug.  "At least I didn't catch a cold or get eaten."

"Could have been worse, the locals liked the blowup you that Lupin sent us," Vecchio offered dryly, smirking at him. "Who've we got?"

"Brad wanted to see you."

"Sure, I'll pop over later, during their free time. Melissa may be at the graduation."

"Fine," he complained.  "You three and he can work on other parts of the list."  He stepped closer so he could hiss at him.  "How much is the pool and what's the top time?"

"Six days," Kowalski said with a smirk.  "Ten grand at the moment."

"Huh.  Most popular?

"Tonight or early tomorrow.  Oh, Xan and Alan broke up," Kowalski told Vecchio.  Who groaned and shook his head.  "He was hurtin' his career so they broke up.  Lupin followed him to Reims to do karaoke.  Got him drunk and cuddled him.  Xander said he's confused because they're being nice and sweet to him."

"Tell him to take the damn crook back," Zenigata said sarcastically.  "Maybe they'll take a longer vacation."

"They're planning for the formal debut," Vecchio reminded him.  "We still don't know if it's a dual job or different targets."

"I saw on the bulletin boards that they're looking in the same city for two targets.  One'll go to the Lupin the Third gang and one to the Lupin the Fourth gang," Dawn told them.  "It'll be this August or September because the kids wanted the summer off.  They're taking the time to work extensively with Yu and Kenji, plus get Alex some glasses and get Fred up to shape to pull his own jobs.  He's a lot like Lupin's father from what I understand."

"Yeah, his dad wasn't bad, but he was more a duffer.  He did it for fun and profit, unlike his son and father who did it for desire and want."  Zenigata smirked at her.  "What're we going to do when it's her kids who're starting?"

"By then, I'm going to be retired because three generations of Lupins working is a sign of the End of Days," Vecchio noted.  "Worse yet, has anyone realized with their present apparent ages that we could see *four* generations at once?"  Zenigata looked sick then shuddered.  "Yeah.  Because Arsene could get pregnant starting this summer and then in twelve to sixteen years her kid can start havin' 'em."

"No more, I'm gonna be ill," Ray complained, letting out a full body shudder.  "Ick!"

"Oh, Ray, heard something interesting from Murami," Dawn said with a teasing grin.  "Bix has her own trust fund for when she's retired and wants to have you."

"Really?" he asked, his face lighting up.  "That was sweet of Goemon and Xan."

"It was.  How much?" Zenigata asked.

"Not a clue.  Oh, and there's other trusts," she said, looking at Ray Vecchio, who nodded.  "How much?"

"Nothing until they're eighteen, then Xander set them up with about a half-mil each good kid.  The others set up from their first seven jobs, taking half of their cuts."

"So, Lupin's probably got a cool million in hers?" Zenigata asked.  Vecchio nodded.  "How are they doing that?"

"By what little we've found out from the little weasel Wyatt who's safely back with Jigen's sister, Ishi and Lotus are taking salary cuts.  Set payment amounts.  Melissa and Arsene are splitting the rest."  He looked impressed.  "That way they didn't have to worry about being forced to pay for the next big thing, like the new satellite that needs to go up.  Lupin's is about out of time."

Ray coughed and shook his head.  "Xander owns an electronics company, Dawnie.  He's got a communications one up there already."

"That man is the real lynchpin.  If you can catch Lavelle, the kids would come for him and so would the older gang," Zenigata complained.  "The problem is that we can't catch him and prove he did anything!"

"Who is this Xander?" Suoh asked.

"Lavelle," everyone said in unison.

"Oh.  All right.  Should I start with his?"

"Yeah, start with his.  He impacts the kids the most," Zenigata encouraged.  "He's hopeless to catch.  The Commissioner was even talked to him but he didn't realize who it was.  He's the one that got them off the list for a year."

The fax machine in the corner spit out a piece of paper so Dawn walked over there.  "Vecchio, how do you feel about Beirut?"  She held up the typed piece of paper.  "Looks like your assassin buddy is off his vacation."

"I hate the Middle East.  I hate sand," he complained as he walked off, going to make travel plans to go to Beirut.

Ray coughed, pulling Zenigata away.  "There's other news he didn't want to tell you, Zenny.  The last time Lavelle was in Chicago, before giving us that stuff, he said he saw Benny and Dief there.  He said that they're using him as helpers."

"Hell," he said bitterly.  "You're sure?"

"That's what he said.  The kids said they wanted us to take Dief away from him, but I'm not sure what's going on yet.  Do you want me ta call?"

"Please.  I want to keep tabs on him.  Or better yet, I will.  Thank you, Ray.  I know he's a sore subject."

"He was Vecchio's friend first.  Ray helped him solve his dad's murder when Benny first came about it."

"Damn it.  No wonder he had such a strong reaction.  Fine, leave it to me to call about that.  I'll let you know what's gong on but you cannot tell Lavelle."

"I have the feeling he's hiding it from Lupin too, and hopefully Ishi."

"Probably.  Thank you."  He walked off, heading to his office so he could close the door and call Chicago in peace.  He found his wife in his chair.  "Out, Dawn.  I've got to make a phone call."

"We can't play naughty secretary?" she teased with a grin.

"No, not this time.  Out."  She nodded, closing the door behind her.  He picked up the new bugs she was testing and carried them out, handing them over.  "Not this time, Dawn," he ordered firmly.  "Diefenbaker was spotted in Chicago."  She shuddered.  "Exactly.  Do not mention to Vecchio.  It's hurting him, and don't tell the crooks."

"Done," she agreed.

"Thank you."  He went back in there and called the number he had on file for Ray from his application.  "This is Inspector Zenigata.  Is Lieutenant Welsh available?  No, sharing information.  Lavelle was just in his city."  He kicked back, tossing another bug he found at the door.  "Lieutenant Welsh, this is Inspector Zenigata.  No, they're fine.  Vecchio's on his way to Beirut on the heels of an assassin who likes to tease him and Kowalski's in the other room to help the new guy chasing after Lupin the Fourth.  No, two reasons.  One, Lavelle was just in town and apparently cozied up to Vecchio's mother?  Yeah, that's one of his personas.  What did he do?"  He snorted.  "Really?"  He rolled his eyes.  "He's a big damn geek.  At least he likes both Rays, it's like he considers them odd brothers or something."

"No, the other reason is worse.  You know why Constable Frasier was dismissed, correct?  Yeah, it's pertinent.  Because Lavelle saw him and he's under a death threat by that whole clan after injuring one of the kids on purpose with an explosive device.  Yeah, that was him.  I understand about breakdowns, but if the kids see him, he's going to be dead.  You'll find so many little pieces you'll have to match genetics.  That's what Ishi said when he heard he hadn't been arrested.  Yeah, the kid can, his sister can, his father can, Lavelle can, Marcus can.  The rest would probably just shoot him.  Lavelle hasn't told them apparently. Yeah, yet.  No, you need to warn him.  Also, the kids said that they wouldn't care if Diefenbaker came back.  Apparently they liked the wolf chasing them.  No, you have *no* idea what Lupin the Fourth is like.  As Kowalski put it earlier, take Lupin, multiply him by Lavelle and double it."  He smiled at the laugh.  "You think I'm kidding?  He did cozy up to Vecchio's family, updated their email addresses for Ray, and then got him some clothes from his storage area."   He smiled.  "Thank you for the consideration.  I'll have Ray call you later?  Or now is fine.  Kowalski!" he shouted.  "Phone!"

He jogged in and took the phone.  "Ray."  He grinned.  "Hey, Welsh!  How's it goin!  No.  I'm good.  Vecchio's back from the travel department.  Vecchio, it's Welsh," he called.  He grinned at his boss.  "Thanks, Zenny."

"Welcome."  He got up, letting them have the office.  "Take as long as you want," he said as Vecchio walked past him.  He looked at the new guy, then decided to put in a bet of his own.  This kid wouldn't last past the first encounter.  They'd drive him insane.  He found the officer running it, putting down ten Euros.  "The first encounter.  She knows he's on her case.  She called.  You could hear the cackle across the room."

"Thank you, Inspector.  Any other new news?"

"Yeah, Melissa's got a coming out party for the crooks soon.  It's hands-off.  So expect to see them in formal gear."  He walked off, going to the coffee shop.  He needed some and so did Dawn probably.

The officer updated the statistics and put who made that bet on the page he had made for it within Interpol's web.  This could seriously change some of the betting.

Table of Contents

Girl Problems. 2

Captive Audience. 45

Powerful Ones. 68

Xander Comes Clean, Or At Least A Bit More. 87

Lupin Family Plans. 114

Lupin Family Fun. 154

All Grown Up and Mischief To Go. 194

Necessary Attachments. 231

Return Trip. 254

Enough for Now. 278

Sacrifices. 389

Hazy Shades. 409

The Power of Love. 464