Contents

The Scene from part 4

Return Trip

Yard Sale

All Together Now....

Motherhood.

Familiar Strangeness.

I Think I Forgot To Calculate For Other Strangeness.

Challenges

Memories, Nothing More Than Memories.

My Life?

Meet Lupin the... Fifth?

Conventions and Madness

Being the Mommy.

To Be Yourself.

A Meeting of the Minds.

Merry Hell, To Those Who Deserve It.

Impression Management

The Scene from part 4

"You fuckwit," Xander said snidely.  "You're going to die horribly for this.  I will make *sure* you die horribly for this.  Not only will you die horribly, I'll make sure that you're torn into little tiny, fucking pieces and *eaten* then regurged and eaten again!"

The kidnaper sighed.  "That's not very nice language."

"Fucking yay!  What the hell did you expect from me?  Me to be Mary Fucking Sunshine!  You *kidnaped* me!  I'm on fucking vacation!  Things like this aren't supposed to happen on vacation!"

"Stop it or else," he warned mildly, smirking at the boy.  "I can gag you again."

"If you do, I can't breathe, and if I can't breathe, you die a more horrible death sooner," Xander vowed.  At the very least Dawn would avenge him and make this person pay.  Jigen would probably help and so would Lupin but he doubted they'd be able to hold back Dawn.

The man sighed and shook his head.  "You leave me no option.  I'll have to discomfit you."  He walked over a narrow shelf in the cave.  "Do not even think about trying to call anything here to help you.  This cave is a holy place, it cannot be defiled by anything evil.  Even the marks on you are neutralized here because of the nature of the spells and goings- on in here."  He opened the wooden box on the shelf and pulled out a six-strand choker of diamonds with one ruby in the center front taking all the space over the adam's apple but the top and bottom rows.  He gently bowed to it then brought it over.  "I consider you unworthy to wear this but it will definitely make you shut up!"  He hitched it around the bound man's neck, then stepped back as the magical aura encompassed him.  "As you can tell, this one will change you.  You will now suit my vision of what you should be," he said with a devilish smirk.  "I can promise that I will not defile you until and unless I am thwarted so I would suggest you stop protesting, tell your friends to cooperate, and leave me alone while I think."

Xander, now female, with red hair, growled.  "I will kill you for this!" he, she, shouted.  "You are a dead man!"  She struggled against the leather cords binding her, but they were only getting tighter.  "I will see you eviscerated for this!  Holy cave or not, I will defile it with your blood!"

Return Trip

Xander walked into Goemon's house with his new daughter and saw the flash of silver right before the big, painful bright light.  Then he woke up.  He looked around.  He was in a cave.  His captor was opening a wooden box on a shelf.  He remembered this part!  "NO!  You are not putting that damn choker on me!" he yelled frantically, reaching for any magic he could get to get him free.  "If you even try, I'm going to kill you!  Do you hear me!  I know what'll happen.  Janus just showed me to the end of my fucking life and I refuse to be a girl for half of it!"

His captor looked at him, frowning.  "What?"

"Inside that box is a choker, diamonds and a few rubies, yes?"  He nodded.  "It's to change people's gender, yes?"  The man nodded again, slower this time.  "I just saw what'll happen.  You put that on me and I'll end up having children!"  The ropes binding him finally broke and Xander stood up, coming over to shake that man.  "If you do that, I'll be perverting Lupin and Jigen and turning them into Daddies!  You can't do that to us!  I won't let you!"

"Fine," he agreed, backing away from the crazed man slowly.   He had no idea what was going on, but he knew that Janus did favor the boy.  That left only one option, running and pleading for his life. "How about we deal with this a different way?"  He picked up his phone, dialing the house.  "Come get him.  He's gone insane.  Kept saying something about a vision and Janus."  He looked at the boy.  "How can you be sure?"

"Who do you think it was that made sure I'd have kids!" Xander yelled.  "You're not going near that choker ever the hell again!"

Lupin's voice came across the speaker in his ear, sounding very calm and the man agreed instantly.  "That's fine.  How bad was the vision, Lavelle?"

"Bad."  He moaned, curling up around himself now that the initial panic was over with.  "It was horrible!  I was a mother!  I was a girl!  I had tits, man!"

Lupin's voice came on again so he told him where he was.  "Thank you," he said quietly, hanging up.  "Lavelle, I'm going to leave you here.  Your boss is on his way.  I'm going to disappear."

Xander looked at him.  "If you had done that, then you would have gone to Greece to beg at Janus' main temple for your life to be spared," he said coldly.  "I'd do that anyway."  The man nodded and gathered up his things, leaving the choker there.  Then he ran away.  His car passed the jeep carrying the thieves on the way in but he didn't even think about stopping.  Not even when his tire was blown out and he drove off the narrow cliff-side road.  Xander jumped and spun around, reaching for a gun he wasn't wearing when he heard more footsteps.  "Lupin!"  He ran over and hugged him as hard as he could.  "Don't touch the choker!  Please, Gods, don't make me wear that thing!  It'll be the end of us and I'll be happy in it after a few months of reconditioning, but I don't wanna be a mommy or a daddy yet and it's horrible and life's not right in it and I had tits and Jigen and you enjoyed them but I still hated them part of the time.  Please, man, don't make me wear that thing!"

"Shh," Jigen soothed, taking Xander to hold so Lupin could breathe.  Since he was purple it was probably necessary.  "It's all right.  We're here.  Tell us about it, Xan."

Xander looked up, eyes still wide and scared.  "Janus showed me what would have happened if that idiot had put the choker on me.  It was bad, man, really horrible.  The times visiting Imperial Japan weren't that bad but still!  I don't need tits!  I never wanted tits!  I make an ugly girl no matter what Gramps said!"

Lupin nerve pinched Xander until he was unconscious.  "Okay then."  He looked around, noticing the box.  He carefully flipped it open, smirking at the choker inside.  "I'm thinking this had something to do with it," he admitted as he closed the box and put it under his shirt.  "Let's search the rest of the cave then we'll take him home.  Maybe he'll be more coherent when he wakes up."

"I'm still stuck on him having tits," Jigen admitted.  Xander shifted in his arms so he sat down with him, patting him on the back.  "I wish there was a way we could know what spooked him so badly."

"Hey, Marcus!" Lupin called.  He and Goemon both came in.  "Goemon, take him to the car and keep him asleep if possible.  Marcus, he said he was granted a vision by Janus.  He's frantic.  Is there anyway we can see it too?"

Marcus shrugged.  "Possibly, but it might radiate to the others.  It'd probably be best to do it at the house, so we all have beds."

"That's fine," Jigen agreed.  He handed over his burden.  "Thanks, Goemon."  He followed Lupin around the cave, finding a few other odds and ends, nothing really precious but a few interesting ancient pots and things.  It would give the kids a good look at some antiques.  Then they headed home.  Marcus was chatting with someone on Xander's cellphone, writing down instructions.  Goemon was watching Xander.  Dawn and Fujiko had been left at the hideout due to capacity restrictions on the jeep and David was still hiding from all of them.  Lupin got them back to the house without incident and everyone inside.  Xander was put into Lupin's own bed, he expected him to be there anyway.  Jigen headed to his own bed once his student was settled, then he laid down.  Marcus came in and brushed something across his forehead and he felt a tingle.  His eyes itched so he closed them.  Then the bright light happened.

***

Lupin woke up a few hours later, holding his head.  "No!"  He looked around, the box was still on his dresser. He almost made a move for it, but not really wanting it near him now that he knew.  Xander had been right to panic.  This was very bad.  So very bad.  He'd be panicking too if he had to be a woman part of the time and learned to live full-time as one.  He looked down at the calmly sleeping Xander and hugged him for the younger man's comfort, of course, so he could think.  It was a useful tool but they would not allow Xander to ever wear that thing.

Jigen walked in.  "You okay, boss?"

"Fine, Jigen.  You?"

"I didn't get too much.  Mostly abstracted images."

"Oh, I got the full thing," Lupin said darkly.  "We had kids.  Not that I mind having a female fourth of the line, or that one specifically, but I think I'd rather have a male one.  Girls are really bothersome."  Jigen sat down on the small space near Xander's feet.  "Did you get to see her?"

"Her?  I saw a her."

Xander moaned and woke up, struggling for a minute until some inner sense told him that it was Lupin holding him.  "I'm not a girl, right?"  He patted his chest down and sighed in relief.  "Thank you, Janus.  If you can make sure that doesn't happen, I'll do anything you fucking well want," he called.  A statue appeared beside him.  "Yeah, even that."  He patted it on the head.  "I'll set up something later, that okay?"  The heads didn't talk. "Even better."  He looked at Jigen, who was looking confused.  "What?"

"I didn't get it," Jigen told him.

Lupin stood up and grabbed the choker, handing it to him.   "No," Xander said, taking it from him.  "You can only hitch this on yourself," Xander instructed calmly. "Whoever puts it on can take it off, no one else.  Hitch it yourself, both clasps."  Jigen hitched it on himself and then he squeaked.  "Exactly."  The thing came off and was handed back.   "And I was stuck in and out of that for years," he told Jigen, sounding much calmer now.  Now his voice only had a touch of hysteria on some of the higher words.  "I had kids.  We had kids.  We had twins, Lupin had kids with someone else, and they were all kick ass, but then we all had kids together.  It was damn odd.  Goemon had three and Fujiko died during the third one's time inside her but we weren't sure if she really died or not.  I had an underground going that helped and supported all of us without Lupin finding out.  It was damn strange, man."

"I'd probably find out about that underground of yours, Xan," Lupin promised. "Besides, we'd never stick you in that choker.  I don't want five kids."

"Seven together.  Ten with Goemon's third on the way."

"Hey, three of those were his," Lupin pointed out.

"True," Xander agreed, calming down again.  "I like kids, and I'd love to steal one some day to raise and train, but not from having one myself.  I never want to experience labor ever again."  He shuddered and Lupin rubbed his back for him.  "It was fucking horrible!"

"It was," Lupin agreed gently, putting Xander back into the bed and tucking him in.  "You rest.  I'm going to check on dinner.  I'll let Jigen know the rest, okay?"  Xander nodded, yawning for him.  "Good boy."  He led Jigen out, handing the necklace to Goemon.  "You need to hide this," he said seriously.  "You may not destroy it, we don't know what would happen, but you have to hide it.  Fujiko can never wear it.  It can't pass out of your family's hands, and you have to know what it does to make sure of it."

Goemon nodded.  "What does it do?"

"It changes gender, makes men able to have kids," Jigen told him.  "That's part of what Xander saw in that vision.  I make a damn ugly woman."

Lupin gave him a sideways look.  "You'd have looked better if you had bigger tits."  He looked at the shocked samurai again.  "Seriously.  If anyone puts it on another person, only *they* can get it off again."

"We should destroy the unholy thing," Goemon told him.

"We don't know what'll happen if we do," Jigen pointed out.  "Magic's funny that way."

"Besides, it could be really helpful on a job or three.  I don't want to have to use it, but I want it safely away from Xander."

"Why?" Dawn asked as she joined them.  "What does it do?"

"It changes sex," Lupin told her.  "In the vision Xander spent a very long time in it."

"Eww.  A female Xander."  She shuddered.  "Nastiness.  Anything else?"

"Yeah, you got Buffy's kids," Jigen said.  "I remember that part."

"Huh?" Goemon asked.

"It was necessary.  Something worse was coming, her sister was a bitter twat.  The usual.  She and Pops hooked up, had lots of little Pops."

"Extreme ewww!" Dawn said, swatting at him.  "Don't say things like that!  It's sickening!  I might not be able to eat ever again!"  She stomped off.

Lupin looked at Goemon. "All because Xander could fill in the female role," he said, nodding.  "Plus, you had three kids.  A boy this time, a little girl right afterwards, then a boy in about five years."  He walked off, shaking his head.  "We liked the mini-you, Ishi."

"Ishi?" Goemon asked woodenly.

"Shortened.  Otherwise we would have had to call him the Fourteenth all the time.  He was one kick ass warrior in training when we died in the vision, Goemon.  Used your sword to avenge us.  Lotus, the daughter, was a very magical little witch.  Talked to tree nymphs.  The youngest was too young to know what he'd become yet."

"I'm having myself fixed tomorrow," Goemon decided, heading into his room to hide the box.  "You may not touch this.  It is an unholy relic that we must keep protected."

"What is it?"  He opened the box and she gasped.  "Ohh, that's pretty."  He snapped the lid shut before she could reach for it.  "What's it do?"

"It changes gender.  Xander apparently ended up in it a lot and became a woman.  Even had her own children."  Fujiko looked horrified.  "We must protect it.  It can only be removed by the person who put it on."

"We'll pass it onto our child," she agreed, stroking her stomach.  "Are you happy?"

He smirked at her.  "Quite.  Are you not?"

"No, I'm good.  It's just odd, thinking about me being a parent.  I never really thought about having a little girl before."

"I believe we'll find it's a boy," he said quietly.  If the vision had affected Lupin that strongly then some of it must be the truth.

She backed away from him.  "If it is, will I *ever* get to sleep?"  He laughed and shook his head.  "That's fine.  I'll figure out how to lock you in a closet or something on occasion."  She headed out, going to check on Lupin.  He was having a large drink, scotch in a water goblet.  "You okay?"

"Hell no."

"Okay.  Anything I can do?"

He looked at her.  "I figured out why you died, and that would have been in quotes," he said, leaning against the counter.  "See, Xander's vision was over the course of a number of years.  Near the end of it, you had died, but your body wasn't in the casket."  Her mouth opened.  "Apparently, from what little I had been able to find out, if you were living it was because you had found someone you loved.  You gave up everything, including your two born kids and husband, for him.  We couldn't be sure if you survived the removal of the baby, but if you were living, you had given it all up."  He took another drink.  "If that ever happens, tell us!"  He walked away, going to find a spot to meditate.  He didn't do it often, but sometimes it was necessary.  It had seemed so real, like he had lived it.  Damn, he wondered if Xander had kept any of the knowledge from it.  He finished his drink and sat down, calming himself.  He wanted to incorporate the new stuff.  He wanted to keep a lot of it.  It explained Xander to him, but it gave him a lot of good ideas.

Upstairs, Jigen was looking at himself in the mirror.  "I made a really ugly woman," he reminded himself.  "I never want to do that again.  Never, ever.  Not even to save my own life."

Xander was sleeping the sleep of the magically suppressed.  Janus was making sure he kept the knowledge.  Since he had decided to change most things when he had been sent back, he would have to make sure the boy kept all the knowledge.  The world needed at least three of those children to continue.  Or else everything was lost.  Somehow they would have to have the children still come to be.  Janus fiddled a bit, erasing it from Jigen's and Goemon's mind.  He let Fujiko remember that it was a harmful thing, something that could destroy minds and that they were guarding it.  He found his future worshiper begging to be told what was going on.  He gave him a simple message, 'go ask Ethan', and left it there.  The rest weren't involved.  Though, Janus did like the idea of Dawn and Zenigata.  They evened each other out.  The interesting and amusing man had quit having so many fits after she had captured him. Perhaps that would stay....

***

Xander woke up much calmer, nearly able to think clearly now.  He got out of bed and padded to his room, putting on some workout clothes.  Then he headed outside to work on his form.  He realized he was doing something from the vision and stopped himself, looking down at his body.  "How in the hell did I do that?"

"I was wondering something along those lines," Goemon admitted as he joined him.  "From the vision?"

"From the vision, you taught me a sneak-attack style, something more to my usual and former hunting habits.  Then we trained a lot, I helped you with Ishi, then your family got into it during a few trips back in time."  He shook his head. "That was just odd."  He shuddered.  "I'm going to go insane after that," he said conversationally.

"You will not," Goemon assured him.  "Show me, let me see.  Perhaps it is something you can keep out of that miserable life."

"It wasn't miserable," Xander said forcefully.  Then he sighed and sat down, looking up at his teacher.  "It wasn't miserable," he said more quietly.  "I was happy most of the time.  Kids, secrets from Lupin, and all of it.  I liked what I was doing most of the time.  I didn't even mind being pregnant until the last one, then I was always so tired.  You spent most of our time alone carrying me back to bed."  Goemon chuckled at that.  "But I learned a lot.  I finished growing up.  I didn't even mind being a girl most of the time since both Lupin and Jigen liked it so much.  Sure, sometimes I got really pissed that I had to be female to get any respect most of the time, but I was good at what I did. You taught me how to wear a kimono and act more properly in female form once I discovered one that looked half Japanese.  You even taught me to enjoy tea sometimes."  Goemon gave him a frown, Xander never liked tea.  "Seriously!  Oh, if we're going to do anything near the time Ishi's due to be born, I'm not delivering him."

Goemon shuddered.  "That's a bad thought.  Why did that happen?"

"We were doing a job on a cruise ship and there were other thieves.  They had tried to do a knock out and steal number during dinner.  Fuji went into labor that night.  One that got away capped the doctor.  The others refused to help so I got to do it with Gramps telling me what to do.  It was nasty."

"I'm assuming it was," he agreed, patting the boy on the head.  "Come, let us work on this new knowledge.  Perhaps you can keep some of it."

Xander stood up, looking at him.  "Goemon, I was shown it for a reason," he said quietly.  "At least some of them have got to be important.  Ishi's your son.  Trained, loving it, happy with being the next you.  Your daughter Lotus was the next White Witch.  And I think she's one that's important."  The other man looked stunned.  "I don't know why.  All I know is that it's important.  There's not one now.  There hasn't been since Willow went dark way back when.  Maybe there's a balance thing out of whack.  I'm not the one to ask, but I think it's important.  I think we need to talk to Ethan.  Would you go with me?"

"Of course," he agreed quickly.   "What of Marcus?"

"He was fine once the demons cured his magic addiction by making it so he couldn't read more than three words without having a headache," Xander said bitterly.  "Dawn and Pops got together.  David left with Gunn after some serious stuff went down between them.  Dawn had to straight because of her nephews.  Buffy had to do something so important that she had to give them up.  Oh, we've got to find Lupin's grown daughter, Demara.  She's a slayer and Buffy will never get her trained right."

"I want to hear all of it," Goemon said firmly.  "This is too odd to be believed."

"Oh, trust me, I know.  By the way, the house you bought, loved it.  You adored it too.  Even Fujiko didn't mind being so far away from everything."  He looked up.  "Yo, Ethan!" he called softly.  Ethan appeared, still holding his head.  "Is that your headache or mine?"

"Does it really matter?  It's from the same vision," Ethan complained.  He looked at Goemon.  "Yes, you must have Lotus at least.  She'll be getting pregnant within a month of having Ishi."  He looked at the boy.  "Should I show him?  Janus tried to remove it from everyone but you and Lupin.  There's got to be a reason.  I can't see myself being turned into a vampire being a good enough one."

"True," Xander agreed with a small grin.  "You're going to the doctor's when?"

"Tomorrow morning, even if I have to take hostages," Ethan said grimly.  "Brain cancer was not what I needed to end my life."  He looked at Goemon and transferred over the important parts, sharing the headache.  He looked at the boy.  "You're different."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are.  Your magical aura is more stable," Ethan said, studying him.  Then he suddenly got it without any divine help.  This was the Xander from then, he had been sent back and put into this body to do something important.  He did a quick binding, keeping the boy in that body, and letting him full control of the knowledge he retained.  It was amazing how he had found that spell in his library right before being called over.  Apparently Janus couldn't directly interfere more than this.  "There, practice everything you've recently done, Xander."  He stared into the brown eyes.  "The world is counting on you yet again," he said quietly.  "Some things are different but some are not.  Make sure that the important things remain."  Xander nodded and hugged him.  "Thank you.  Do you want me to work on that formula?"

"I will beg or sleep with you," Xander agreed, giving him a grin.  "Deal?"

"It's enough to know that I can and that it might help retard the growth's growth."  He looked at the house, then at Xander.  "I'll work on Marcus tomorrow, once his training is firmed up.  It was Lotus who sent you back."  He disappeared.

"Who named my daughter Lotus?"

"Fujiko.  It was all she could think of."  He shrugged and grinned.  "Okay.  Willing to work out with me for real?"  Goemon nodded and took off his kimono, bowing to the younger man.  "Thanks, man, I need this."  Xander bowed back and took up his first position.  "We both know I hate attacking first."

"True," Goemon agreed, attacking him.  He was surprised, this Xander was quite good.  As good as Marcus was with the demon's memories, if not better.

Upstairs, Lupin watched them go at it, watching carefully.  Xander was smooth as water.  He glanced back at Ethan.  "He's the one from there, isn't he?"  Ethan nodded.  "Why?"  He watched the two warriors go at it again.  "Is there a good reason?"

Ethan sighed and moved closer.  "As near as Janus showed me, there was an attack on the house as Xander and you were bringing back your youngest daughter," he said quietly.  "They snuck into the house and took out Goemon, Jigen, and two of the children.  Goemon's son got the thieves as they went for Xander.  Lotus sent Xander back to save him and everyone in a fit of desperation.  Some things will be changed since you're not rescuing him from Seville.  David will never force him to learn how to use the choker."

"But he kept all that."

"He did," Ethan sighed.  "I doubt he'll want to use it.  Before he was very inclined to use it.  It brought Jigen to his bed along with you.  You two shared him," he said at the confused look.  "Jigen only liked him as a female for the longest time and you liked him both ways.   Hence the first two twins.  By the way, that Fourth you had, you need to have her I believe.  You also need to find your daughter Demara."

"Why?"

"She's a slayer and would you really leave her to Buffy's training?" he asked gently.  Lupin shook his head.  "Then you should find her and find her a good trainer.  Xander should help her, as should Marcus.  Marcus became quite a stud when he was forced away from magic.  We'll be fixing that as soon as you bring him to me in a few weeks."  He glanced outside again.  "The sad thing is that it's not nature that created them that way, it was those two.  Ishi was nearly a little Goemon clone.  He was a very happy baby.  Precocious, strong, smart.  The others were the way they were because of Xander."

"Then I'll get him to help me when I have to have a fourth," Lupin agreed quietly.  "This will tear us apart."

"It won't," Ethan pointed out. "It didn't before.  Goemon came and went.  Fujiko complained about all the sex she got, and the times when she didn't get any.  Xander went to his anime conventions.  You managed a life even with all the other things.  His network was important, that's why he told you," Ethan decided.  He felt it was right.  "Ishi and Lotus are important.  Melissa and Savanna. Your little Fourth.  Melissa and Savanna are...were the two sides of their mother.  Your Fourth was you.  Ishi was him.  Lotus was Willow reborn, basically," he admitted at the hard look.  "Figuratively.  The world needs some of them somehow.  Sometime."

"But not right now."

"No, not right now," Ethan agreed.  "The only things that must happen right on schedule are Ishi and Lotus.   Even if Goemon wins the naming of his daughter by being there this time.  It really was a desperation move on Fujiko's part.  They wouldn't let her leave without naming the baby."  He shrugged.  "I'll start work on that formula tomorrow after I come back from the doctor's.  I know it was important.  It gave you enough time to do the work of the Powers for them, on the darker side of the playing field.  Sometimes the chosen warrior is the black knight."  He disappeared.

"So now we have a black king, knight, rook, and bishop.  And possibly a queen if we need it," he admitted, watching Xander kick and Goemon barely duck.  Jigen tapped on his door and walked inside.  "Xander kept it all from the vision," he said, letting him see.

Jigen whistled. "I've never seen Goemon sweat like that.  Oooh."  He winced, that had to have hurt, but Xander got up and ducked under the next hit, punching him and getting out of the way.  "Ow.  Poor guys."

"Goemon's testing him.  I've never seen Xander do that before."  He shook his head and let the curtain drop.  "So, we'll have to do some adjusting," he admitted.  "When it's a month before Goemon's son is due to be born, we'll not be on a cruise ship."  Jigen's mouth fell open.  "We were pulling one last job.  Fujiko went into labor while there.  Xander had to deliver Ishi."

"I like that nickname," Jigen admitted.  "I'm supposing Fourteenth isn't something he likes?"

"Probably not.  We have to make sure this one is a boy."  Lupin looked toward Goemon's room, then toward Dawn's.  "I'm not sure what to do about her thing with her nephews and going straight."

"Dawn?"

"She had to take Buffy's sons from her and raise them.  She went straight, worked for the ICPO, didn't turn us in, and made Pops happy."  He shrugged.  "I don't know.  It's like a fairytale to me most of the time.  Like a really vivid dream."

"Good," Jigen pointed out.  "Xander probably needed the stuff he learned."  He lit his cigarette and took two puffs before handing it over.  He took the shot and stuck himself. "Thanks, needed that."

"Go to sleep.  I'll finish it for you."  Lupin sucked in a deep breath of smoke, holding it in for a while before letting it go.  He went back to watching Xander.  The boy was nearly flawless as he flowed.  Goemon was like his sword: strong, silent, deadly, efficient.  Xander was like water: always moving, smoothly flowing, wearing you down with attacks that weren't killing.  Then he closed in for a killing blow, getting Goemon down but stopping just before something bad happened.  "Wow," Lupin whispered, taking another drag.  Xander looked up and grinned at him, waving.  He waved back and smiled.  That was not the angst king they were used to.  This Xander was calm.  He was assured.  He was confident.  He was deadly sex on two legs and making him hot just watching him wear out Goemon.  Marcus on full automatic was nothing like this guy.  Goemon got up and grabbed the practice swords, tossing one to Xander.  Xander grimaced and got another one, putting that one back.  Goemon gave him a small look but apparently accepted it.  Lupin knew from the handle it was the heavier one of the group.  So Xander's experience there was showing as well.  Xander attacked first this time, making Goemon shudder as he moved out of the way.  He knocked the boy down and sat on his back, chastising him greatly.  Apparently some things never changed.

***

Lupin looked up as his door opened.  "Yeah, Xander?" he asked.  "Problems?"

"Nightmares."  He walked in and laid down next to him.  "Is this okay?"

He smirked at him.  "Why would I take this away from myself?"

"Good point."  Xander pinched him.  "Smug bastard."  He curled up next to him, using the flat stomach as his pillow.  "Are you okay?  I know some of it got transferred to you."

"I'm fine.  Shocked.  You made an excellent woman after a bit."  He stroked over the dark hair.  "Have fun playing with Goemon?"  Xander nodded, closing his eyes.  "Good.  I want you to keep it up.  For whatever reason this happened and I want to turn it to our favor.  Got it?"  Xander nodded again, softer and less movement this time.  "You nap, Xan.  I'll protect you from the nightmares of labor."  He felt a small smile as an arm came around his stomach.  "Good boy.  You rest."  He stroked the dark head, making Xander purr.  "If you want, I'll even let you go to an anime festival before we head home."

"Mmmmm, con," Xander whispered, snuggling in.  "Fank you."

"You're welcome. You rest."  Lupin stayed up, reading quietly while Xander used his stomach as a pillow.  It was comfortable.   In the morning he'd have to take this new Xander for a test ride, make sure everything was still the same.  He smirked at that thought, Xander was a wonderful way to wake up.

***

Xander skipped down to breakfast the next morning, energized, energetic, and very awake.  Lupin had gone back to sleep after having sex.  Xander beamed at everyone.  "Good morning."

"Do you think you can do that quieter next time?" Fujiko asked dryly.  "You woke me up, twice."

"Sorry," he said with a totally unrepentant grin.   He sat down and grabbed food, piling his plate high. "Lupin said he'd wake up again later," he told Jigen when he opened his mouth.  "He needed a nap."

"I bet, with the noise you two made," Dawn agreed.  "It sounded like a big orgy in there."

"Nope, just us," he said happily.  He looked her over, then beamed brighter.  "So, if the vision is right, we need to start watching your sister for troubles.  Do you want first watch or do you want to do a 'net watch?"

"Why?" David asked.

"A soul eater eating some of the potentials."

"Oh."  David and Dawn shared a look, then looked at him.  "When?" she asked.

"Starting sometime next month.  Oh, the maze," he said, snapping his fingers.  "Jigen, I want to go through it by myself.  Would you like to go with me on a pass?"

"Sure, kid," he agreed, nodding slowly.  "Why?"

"Because it made my reputation in the vision.  People actually saw my hair and got scared."  He smirked at him.  "I got a lot of respect from it.  People actually thought I was going to take over a local syndicate."  Jigen's mouth fell open.  "You didn't get that part?"

"No, not really.  Not that I mind.  Just us?"

"I'd go but I'll be really fat then," Fujiko announced.

"It's better if you did not go anyway, who knows what might touch the child," Goemon said, patting her on the stomach.  "I do not want either of you in danger."  He looked at Xander.  "How did we go through before?"

"Just me, me and Jigen, then the group, minus Dawn and David."

"Why didn't I go?" David asked.

Xander looked at him and sighed.  "Your dad decided to repossess you," he said honestly.  David scowled at him.  "Think about it, David.  Think about things like what happened in that story Jigen told you about Singapore.  This has been like a vacation, it really has.  Jigen and I working together got caught once.  Nearly twice," he admitted at the cleared throat.  "The second time was my fault, I fully admit it now, Jigen."  He looked at David again.  "Crime isn't fun and games.  It's serious, hard, exacting work.  This is the time when you're supposed to be thinking about that."

David nodded.  "I can see that.  Fujiko's told me a few stories where she narrowly escaped."

"Usually by fucking the rest of us over," Jigen pointed out.

"True," Fujiko agreed, wiping her mouth off.  "This is the time for that, kids.  Dawn, you're a great thief.  You've got great potential, but you're still short on some very basic skills.  David, you've got some potential, some abilities that the others don't have, but you'll have to do this with the group.  You'll have to learn to shoot, how to defend yourself and your team.  The maze would be a sure way to prove that to you.  It's a test for thieves.  It's got obstacles you can't go around or over, you have to go through."

"I nearly died the year I went through on my own," Jigen admitted.  "That was when I was younger, stronger, tougher, and more willing to be an ass."

Xander nodded.  "This year's, unless it's changed from the vision, will be a paranormally- tilted one.  I don't want to talk you guys out of it, but I don't want you guys to dance out of your training without knowing what's going on."

"What else would I do with my skills?" David asked derisively.

"You'd go work with your dad and be the warrior for the light that you could be," Marcus pointed out gently.  "Your skills are very suited to that.  Think about how many times you've heard your father say that they needed a backup force.  Before they had the Sunnydale crew, and then they had Xander there.  Now they don't and they're suffering from having a lack of qualified applicants."

"So you want me to do that?"

"No," Xander said firmly, making the boy jump.  "I want you to think about everything you've been told.  I want you to think about how bad prison is, how dangerous being a thief is, how many times we've had to use gunfire as a way to get out of things and needed extra guns.  If this is our last year, guys, we're not really ready to take on the world of crime by ourselves.  Yeah, I'm trained.  Marcus has some training and he's working hard.  I can barely open a lock or a rotary dial.  I can use the electronic lockpicks.  Dawn can open a few more locks.  David, you can do some of that too.  Marcus is better suited to what Goemon does, being the backup or being the rear guard unless we need something in his field."  Goemon nodded, that was his job most of the time.  "I can't do it all, and I don't want to do it all.  I want and need to have you guys as trained as possible after this year is done with.  If you guys decide to stay, I want us to go through the maze as a team.  All us students."

"Gladly," Marcus agreed readily.  "I do need the testing.  My field skills aren't as advanced as I'd like them to be."

"You're trying to set a line," Dawn pointed out.  "Make it a 'this' or 'that' choice."

"No, I'm not.  I'm injecting reality, Dawn."  Xander stared her down.  "Do you know how many times we've had to shoot people, killing them?" he asked gently.  She went green.  "That's something you need to get past.  It happens and I can't be the only one.  I'm great, but I'm not God."

"I can shoot but I'm not that great," Marcus admitted.  "David, you've taken some range lessons, how are you doing?"

"Crappy," Jigen informed him.  "He can hit the paper now, it's better than it was."

Goemon nodded.  "Were this the older days, you four would already be ready.  Unfortunately, technology has moved on.  Marcus needs more range time and more field training.  Xander has most of his down now.  David and Dawn, we will begin to put you with and against them.  Marcus, I want you to work with Xander after breakfast.  Jigen, please take them to the range."

"Done," Jigen agreed, putting some jam on some toast so he could eat.  "Eat, kids.  You'll need it.  Xander's right, your year's nearly up."  He took a bigger bite, looking at Fujiko.  "I figure by the time you're ready to come back, they should be ready for field trials."

"That'll be about six more months," she agreed, stroking her stomach.  "I want to find out if this is a boy or not.  It would probably unhinge the future Xander saw if it wasn't."

"Hey, they make ultrasounds for that," Xander pointed out.  "I'm sure we can get one."

"We can," Goemon agreed.  "Xander, where was that house?"

"In the pass between Iga and the next town, the one with the open-air market and the community hospital.  On that town's side barely.  It overlooked the valley.  Had some nice acreage."

"I think I know of it.  One side faces the mountain?"

"On the other side of the pass.  She looked at that one but the other was bigger and had better views."

"Hmm."  Goemon sipped his tea and nodded.  "Then I do know the one you speak of.  It is a most pretty house."  He looked at his wife.  "We might look into that in the future."

"I'm still not a baby machine, Goemon."

"I know.  I wish you to not be one.  I can't see me having that many children."  She relaxed again.  "As it happens, it will."  She nodded, smirking at him.  "Though, I do agree with Xander.  You will be near a hospital when it is time to give birth."

"Women did that for centuries without drugs or doctors," Dawn pointed out.  Xander got up and came back with the doll they had been using for training, putting it in front of her.  Beside it went a medium grapefruit.  "What's that?"

"Babies come out about that size, maybe a few pounds lighter," Xander told her, staring down at her.  "Your body stretches to the size of the grapefruit.  She'll be pushing something about twenty inches long and about eight pounds out of that grapefruit.  She'll want drugs."  Dawn's mouth fell open and she whimpered so he looked at Fujiko.  "Drugs, right?"

"Drugs," she agreed, looking stunned, nodding as well.  "I will want drugs.  I will castrate anyone who keeps me from them."  She looked at Goemon.  "If I feel that much pain, you're being castrated as well."

"If necessary, I will allow it," he assured her, patting her on the hand.  He removed the doll from the table before he had to stare at that image any longer.  It was a sickening thought.  "How would women stand doing that ten times?"

"Or more," Marcus pointed out happily.  "My father's grandmother came from a family of sixteen children, fourteen of which survived to adulthood.  Her mother had twenty-three.  There were some triplets."  Fujiko whimpered and wrapped her arms around her stomach.

"Enough, some of us are trying to eat," Jigen pointed out.  "If she has more than five kids, we'll have her fixed and put on mental drugs."  He filled his mouth and pushed that image out of his mind.

"I will have drugs," Fujiko said firmly.  "I don't care how, from whom, but I will have drugs!"

"We'll steal you some if we're not going to be near a hospital," Xander soothed, stroking her back to calm her down.  "Remember, he kicks when you get upset."  She nodded and calmed herself.  "Hey, little guy," he cooed, patting her stomach.  "How are you, little Fourteenth?"

She swatted his hand.  "Go eat."

"Fine."  He grinned at her as he sat down.  "Feel lucky, that choker means...."  Marcus kicked him and shook his head.  "No what?"

"No.  They didn't share most of the vision with you and Lupin," he said quietly.

"Okay."  He shrugged and dug into his pile of food.  "Goemon, are we doing sword or hand-to-hand first?"

"Sword first, you need more work in that area," Goemon said firmly.  "You still slouch."

"Yes, sir."

"You will use *all* your skills, Xander, not part of them this time.  I noticed it last night, you were still pulling your blows.  You will not do so today."

"Yes, Goemon," he said, looking whipped.  Then he grinned at him.  "Even so I don't show Marc up?"

"No, not even then.  If you beat him, do so fairly so he may learn to do it in return," Goemon told him.   "Otherwise we will spar again tonight and I will be forced to correct you again."

"Did you finally spank him?" Dawn asked with a curious, yet impish, grin for him.

"Not yet," he said.  "I don't believe it would help him any.  Next time he misbehaves, we'll have to do one of those obnoxious and nauseating group hug things."

Jigen shuddered.  "Goemon, some of us are still trying to eat.  Thanks a whole lot for ruining that for us."

Xander grinned at him.  "You don't want to hug me?"

"Keep it up and I'll be the one spanking you, without giving Dawn any watching privileges."  Xander sighed and shook his head.  "Xander, coffee, now," he ordered, pointing at the pot.  "Before you drive me insane."

"You won't have me today," he defended.

"Bull.  You'll be in the range within four hours."  He handed down the pot of coffee, watching as the young man fixed himself some.  "Ah!  No sugar!"

"I agree, you don't need the extra bounce it would give you.  It appears Lupin's already given you that."

"Are you saying he's sweet?" Marcus teased.

Goemon gave him a look.  "The only way for you to properly find that out is to go upstairs and sleep with him yourself," he noted.  Fujiko choked and spluttered, so he comforted her by patting her on the back.  "Feel free to, Marcus."

"Yes, Master."

Xander giggled wickedly.  "If you do, can I watch?"

"No!" Marcus said, blushing brightly.  "I'd never do that!  I'm not like that!"

"Sure you're not, Marcus," Xander said dryly, smirking at him.  "Ask me later how I know that."  Marcus blushed brighter.  "Good."  He looked at Jigen.  "As for my range time today, I was going to go gun shopping instead since my last one may or may not have disappeared."  Jigen shook his head, sipping his own coffee.  "You're sure?"

"I'm sure.  I got your bag from the beach.  It's got sand in it, but it's still here."

"Yeah, but I wanted something specific and special," Xander said with a hint of pout.  "We need to go back to the other hideout anyway to hide the choker.  Can't we stop in Paris and do the gun shows?"

"On the way home," Lupin said tiredly as he joined them.  He took Xander's coffee and his usual seat, sipping one while he got comfortable in the other.  "So, what do we have planned for today?"

"Xander is going to use Marcus as a training aid," Fujiko told him.  "And he'll be giving a real workout or Goemon's been asked to spank him this time.  Xander wants to go gun shopping.  David and Dawn have range time today.  Xander wants to run the maze."

"Really?" Lupin asked, looking at him.  "Why?"

"You don't remember?" he asked quietly.

"Oh.  Well, yeah, I do," he admitted, then he shrugged.  "The same as last time?"

"Sure.  Plus I'll go with the students if they want to try it."

"Sure," Lupin agreed, nodding.  "Fujiko, can you find those forms?"

"Sure, Lupin.  I'll be stepping out due to my rotund size."

Xander looked at her.  "At least it's not twins, triplets, or quads.  Or, hey, one of those times when some women had eight."  She shuddered and smooshed herself against Goemon's side.  "Imagine how big you'd be then."

"I'd never get out of bed," she snorted.  She shuddered.  "That's a nasty and evil thought, Xander.  Did you go back to Hell and take over?"

He cackled.  "No, but it's sounding like a good idea," he admitted.  "When I die, I'll do that and release any of you down there with me to run things."

"That would be a punishment for some of us," Jigen reminded him, giving him a glare.  "More coffee, Xander.  Now."

"Fine," he sighed, grabbing a clean cup and pouring himself some more coffee.  Lupin held out the stolen cup so Xander refilled his too.  "There.  Anyone else?"  Marcus shook his head, then shuddered.  "What? You don't want to punish certain older generations?"

"For that alone I'd take being a demon," Marcus admitted, giving him a long look.  "What else did you get, Xander?"

"Kids.  Some jobs.  The choker thing.  Some skills.  Some weapons.  The fact that some day soon Gramps is going to file to make his quest a team instead of a solo mission.   You became the nanny to the horde.  Ishi's a great warrior in the making because we all made it seem so fun.  A few little things like that," he said with a negligent shrug.  "Nothing earth shattering."

"Jobs?" Fujiko asked.  "Anything good?"

"Gold bullion in a few years. A few jewel heists.  A heist while Marc and I were playing at an anime fancon."  He grinned. "I made one killer Inuyasha."

Goemon gave him a long look.  "I'm sure you would.  Wasn't he the half-demon?"  Xander nodded.  "I remember you making me watch an episode with you."  He looked at his wife, then down at his son.  "We need to make sure this one is a son," he decided.  "Just in case things are being changed."

"If they have, then other things might have changed drastically too and I'll be in the dark about most things.  I do know one thing we have to change somehow but I don't know how if the result is what's important," he said miserably.  Lupin looked at him so he leaned over and reminded him of a small town in Germany and what resulted, namely Lotus being a witch.  "That."

"Ethan said she was important," he admitted. He finished up his coffee and pulled over the rest of the food, digging in.  "We'll figure it out, Xander.  We've got months until then."  He patted his arm where it was on the table.  "What first?"

"First, I need David and Dawn to get a good lesson in what it's like on the streets," he decided.  "That way they can make their own decisions."  Lupin nodded, understanding what he wasn't saying.  "Then I think I need a new gun.  Jigen said my old one had sand in it so I'll try to clean it but I still want another one.  Something simpler and interchangeable this time maybe."  He shrugged.  "Sorry, Jigen, I like my automatics."

"Not an issue, kid.  I think you do better with them."  He patted him on the back.  "This would be after Goemon lets you kick Marcus' ass."

Marcus snorted.  "We'll see about that."

Xander looked at him and licked his lips.  "Sure we will.  Goemon, I'll need a sword to practice with so he can use his real blade."  Goemon choked on his bite of food, making Fujiko and Dawn pat him on the back.  "Sorry, but it'd be better for both of us, right?"

"I'll find a way to guard the blades," he agreed.  "What had you been using?"

"Tetsana."

Goemon stood up.  "In the hallway, now."  Xander followed him, even letting him shut the door so no one could hear. "How did you know about that?"

"Easy," Xander said, leaning against the wall.  "Wife gets jealous.  Wife makes wish.  Wish sends us back to when the manners lessons I was taking off you would be more appropriate.  I was holding it for your second son."

"Oh."  He blinked a few times.  "We went back then?"  Xander nodded.  "Oh, dear."  He shook his head quickly.  "I hope that will not happen."

"If not, then the sword's lost to history," Xander pointed out.  "I was the reason they made it and I promised to give it to your next son."

"Very well, we will come to that when it happens.  What else had you been using?"

"Regulation length katana.  More of a decorative blade most of the time.  I'll need a new one and I'll need to work some major magic soon.  Wanna help?"

"No thank you.  What of Marcus' magic?"

"It's great, and wonderful, and dangerous.  We'll need to make sure he doesn't become addicted this time around, hopefully without the reading thing happening.  Though if it has to...."  He shrugged.  "I can't argue with it."

"I understand.  I wish to know."

"I wish you had seen it," Xander admitted. "It would make things so much easier sometimes.  Oh, the heavier practice blade is bent to the left."  He went back to his seat so he could finish breakfast.  "Marcus, go change.  You'll be sweating hard today."

"Fine, Xander.  Shall we bet on the outcome?"

Xander looked at him and smirked.  "If I win, what are you willing to give up?"

"I'll help you pick out a new blade?"

"No, I'm good on that," Xander admitted.  "How about....  If I win, I get a ten-pound box of the *good* chocolates from that little place in Switzerland.  If you win, I'll give you a backrub."

"Deal," Marcus agreed happily.  "Should I wear shorts?"

"Only if you want to.  You'll be spending a lot of the time on your back begging for mercy," Xander quipped.

"We'll see," Marcus said smugly.  He finished his juice and went up to change, letting Xander follow to change himself.  He joined Goemon and Xander outside, noticing Xander was in a pair of running shorts and a tank-top.  "Are we ready?"

"Give me your sword first," Goemon ordered, taking it to cover the sharpened edge.  Just in case Xander still had a few faults or an accident occurred.  He handed it back.  "There.  Join him."  He got out of the way, sitting down to watch them, his own sword resting against his shoulder as Marcus lunged and Xander blocked and parried.  He grunted in pleasure.  The boys weren't holding back this time.  Xander was giving it all he had while trying very hard not to strike with all his force.  "Xander, do the routine fully or face me," he ordered.  Xander stopped holding back and put his back into it, stunning Marcus.  Marcus was quickly at a disadvantage and had to duck a blow and try to strike from the side.  Xander moved in to kill him, getting him across the side of the neck with the blow he used.  "Enough.  Are you all right?"

"Fine," Marcus said, sounding shaky.  "Xander?"

Xander shrugged. "I learned from it too.  Want me to attack first this time?  And should I use the really special and intimidating stuff?"

"Please, I would like to see it," Goemon agreed.  Xander waited until Marcus had moved into a 'ready' pose and then attacked with a whoop of a battle call and a spinning attack that made Goemon's eyes hurt and made him feel quite dizzy.  "Xander," he said calmly.  "Do that slower."

"I can't.  I can only do it quickly.  I tried, I fall."

"Ah."  Goemon stood up and moved closer.  "Then do so again.  Marcus, the only way to save yourself would be to duck under his non-swinging arm."  Marcus nodded and readied himself and Xander did it again, while Marcus ducked.  Goemon looked at him.  "Did you by chance learn that off a cartoon of some sort?"  Xander blushed and nodded.  "Ah."  He nodded slowly.  Then he swatted the boy.  "I wish to see the rest of them, young man."

Jigen lounged in the doorway, snickering.  "Got you this time," he said happily.  "No more learning things off cartoons."

"You, quit.  I know where you're ticklish now."  Xander faced off with their trainer, lunging for him, going in the sequence he had trained with.  Goemon parried two attacks, ducked another two and tripped Xander on the last one.  "See, that's my problem with that one."

"You need to leap higher in the air," Marcus offered.  "Come down and expect to hit him on the knee, not on top of the foot."

Xander stood up and did that last one again, taking his advice, and it worked.  Goemon ended up on his back, looking up at the boy.  "Sorry," Xander said sheepishly, helping him up.  "I didn't mean to run into you actually."

"No, it's instructive," Goemon assured him, dusting himself off. "Very well. We will work some more with this.  I want you to get Marcus up to speed enough to be able to fight against you for real, Xander."

"Yes, Goemon.  Marcus?"  Marcus sighed and stepped back into the ring, already feeling the ache in his shoulders.  "Ready?"  Marcus nodded, and Xander attacked, a simple thing, slipping one of the new moves into the familiar pattern.  Marcus scowled at him and attacked back, showing what he could do when he relied on the demon's memories.

By the time both of them had sunburns, Goemon had seen enough to not only have a headache, but also to be proud of them.  "Enough," he said finally.  "Get a drink, come back for hand-to-hand.  Xander's learned a new style from that vision and I want to test it.  Marcus, are you all right?"

"Can he do it against someone else, Master?" he pleaded.  "I ache."

"Are you giving up?" Xander taunted, smirking at him.  "Am I getting my chocolates?"

"Hell yes!  I never want to face off against you ever again!" he said hotly.

"Good, then there's one move I absolutely want to train into you," Xander told him.  "We got to the point where we could switch weapons during a fight," he explained.  "I want him able to do that.  It's handy and I need to stay in practice."

"Agreed," Goemon said firmly. "It would be handy.  You two can do each other's jobs.  Do so slowly.  I'll attack."  He picked up Xander' sword while Xander picked up the gun he had brought out, a plastic model they often used out here.   He moved at Xander with the sword, and Xander showed how they had done it.  Marcus looked stunned and switched back, then back again.  "Very good.  Now let's do it a bit faster."  He came at them for real this time and Xander managed the switch but Marcus was still a bit fumbling.  With practice it would come.  "Good enough for today.  Get ready for some hand-to-hand work with me, Xander."

"Of course, Goemon.  Always happy to please and all that rot," Xander said in his best Ethan impersonation.  He bowed and attacked, dropping the gun on the way.  Goemon's sword was handed off blindly as he blocked a punch and the boy let him have it again.  Xander beamed at him.  "You said not to hold back."

"I did," he agreed.  "If you injure me however, I will sic my wife on you."  Xander started to pull his punches and Goemon growled.  "That was not what I meant and you know it.  Continue and do hours of pushups today."  Xander came after him again, not pulling any punches but going slower.  Marcus stood there, mouth open, watching as they battled back and forth.  Finally, Goemon won by ducking a very pretty blow and getting Xander in the stomach with his knee, making everyone watching wince.  Goemon patted the boy on the back, leaning down to get next to his ear. "Very well done, Xander.  I am quite impressed with my training style.  Now you will teach Marcus how to counter you."

"Tomorrow?" he asked, standing up with only a minor wince.

"Definitely.  For now, go find the gun that you want online so Jigen may approve of it then help on the range after you put something on your sunburn.  You as well, Marcus, put something on your arms and neck."  Marcus bowed to him and went to do that.  He patted Xander on the back.  "Are you all right?"

"Fine," Xander admitted, bowing to him.  He took his weapon and the gun inside, sliding past Jigen.  "Let me change and I'll bring down the book I found it in."

"You can wear that if you want," Jigen offered.  "You can drip down there if you want."  Xander shrugged, then winced and took the aloe gel from Marcus to slather himself with it.  "Let me," he offered, getting the parts on Xander's back and shoulders that he couldn't reach.  "There.  Range, now."  Xander trotted that way, only stopping to put up the weapons and grab that book for him.  Jigen looked at the gun, nodding at it.  "Impressive."  He handed it back.  "Do the normal targets, in order."  Xander picked up his ear plugs and glasses, then slapped the first clip into the gun, doing his center-mass target first.  "I said the normal way, Xander.  Wounding then inward."

"Sorry."  Xander switched targets and started off with the wounding ones, realizing that he had changed it around sometime in the past.  Or at least in his past.

Dawn and David watched, looking horrified as Xander took shot after perfect shot, only missing one by the way he swore after it.  Since it was on his blind side no one really said anything, but then again he would work more on that later.

Jigen nodded, liking what he saw.  "Good."  He patted the boy on the back.  "Very good."  Xander beamed at him.  "Now, let's see if you can do the same thing for those two."

Xander looked at them.  "David, in front of me," he ordered.  The boy walked over and let Xander position him, even letting him wrap his arms around him.  "Aim down the spike.  This gun fires off to the right so compensate slightly, not more than ten degrees."  He moved the gun into position for the boy and helped him fire the first one.  "Now you do it."

"Can you move?"

"No.  You should be able to do this without wincing or moving from the recoil."

"Fine."  David tried the next few, then Xander guided his hands again, letting him get the feel for the weapon.  It was much different than a crossbow.  He finally got one in the center of the target and grinned at Jigen.  "Closer."

"Still not good enough," Jigen reminded him.  "Do another clip, same target.  Try for the center this time, kid."  He watched as Xander walked David through the reloading process to make sure he had it.  "Back off, Xan."  Xander backed off, watching with a tilted head as David started off again, finding the feel after the third shot.  He was still firing too high but it was much closer than he had been.  "Good enough for now.  Report to Goemon.  Dawn, your turn."

"I hate guns."

"Guns and gun battles are a part of the life, Dawn.  Not many of us fight with swords and crossbows these days.  Unless you want to go live with some elves...."  He burst out in giggles, then shook his head.  "Sorry, flashback.  Unless you want to go live in the Forgotten Realms with the elves, front and center."  She sighed and came over, letting Xander help her.  "There, now you do it this time."  She tried, but she was still flinching.  Xander sighed and shook his head, looking at Jigen.  "Dawn, for each time you miss, I'm taking away a grand of your next part of the cut," Xander decided.  "You have to do better.  We'll be relying on you to cover our backs the same way you'll be relying on us."

"Why?  You'll be there," she said bitterly.

"Dawn, even I'm not bulletproof.  Jigen's been shot a number of times and Lupin had to fill in for both of them.  What are you going to do if I'm injured or dead and you're the only one with a gun?"

"Beg Marcus to help me with a portal?"

"Not good enough," Xander told her.  He grimaced and touched her head, showing her the scene he wanted her to imagine.  It was him lying on the ground bleeding.  Them with guards all around, Marcus with his sword and David with a smaller wound.  "Now, what are you going to do there?  You don't have the time to cut yourself to make a portal.  Marcus is guarding us.  There's sixteen guards and either they die or we all do."  She ran to get sick.  "Sorry, but it's the truth," he called after her.  He looked at Jigen.  "The Paris job during my first year, that standoff, only with us kids and me being injured instead of you."

"Reality sucks sometimes," Jigen agreed.  "It happened, it can happen again."  He went to find the girl, finding her still getting sick.  So he waited.  When she came out, he tapped her on the shoulder. "That scene happened the first year I trained Xan.  Our fourth month together and I was the injured one.  He took them all down efficiently and then got me out of there.  He waited until we were hiding in the car to break down.  Can you do that?"

"Will I have to?"

"There's been more than one of those on the job in the last five years, Dawn," Jigen said seriously.  "Which is why Xander wants you to make your choice and to base it on reality, not on stealing pretty artwork sometimes."  He walked away to talk to Lupin.  "Dawn's just broken past that 'I don't have to shoot' thing she had going.  Xander broke her."

"How?"

"The Paris job I got injured during.  He showed it to her and she got sick."

"Good," Lupin agreed, smirking as he put his feet up.  "How is he?"

"Just fine.  Missed one shot out of seven clips, a little off to one side.  Probably over compensation that time."  Lupin grinned at him.  "He got David to hit the center of the target on his own, but not in the center-center, just in the circle."

"Excellent!" Lupin agreed happily.  "How did the thing with Goemon go?"

"Goemon's so impressed he's wanting to switch students," Jigen admitted, sitting down across from him.  "What happened then?"

"An extra twenty-eight years of training," Lupin said simply.

"Oh."  Jigen nodded slowly.  "No wonder.  Who trained the kids?"

"We all did.  You got the gun course from what I remember."

"That's probably better anyway.  Where's Fujiko?"

"At the local doctor's office getting an ultrasound."  He shrugged.  "We'll know soon."

Xander stuck his head in.  "She's back, she's shocked.  The doctor said he *thinks* it's a girl but he couldn't tell for sure."

"We'll see soon then," Lupin decided.  "That's what amnio's are for."

Xander beamed.  "Thanks, boss.  Need anything?  I'm headed out for soda and to mail a letter to someone."

"Go for it," he said with a hand wave.  "You've earned an afternoon off as well."

"No thanks.  I wanted a catalog from a place I remembered, just to see what their spring models were."  He hurried out to Fujiko's bike, since she said he could use it, and took it into the nearest town. He saw the person watching him and gave them a long look.  They looked away so he smirked and headed on.

***

Fujiko walked out to where Goemon was, resting on his arm to catch her breath.  "The doctor couldn't be sure.  He thinks it's too early to tell, but he thought it was a girl."

Goemon raised a brow, looking down at her.  "Really?"

She nodded.  "Really.  We'll have to do another one in a few weeks."

"That's fine."

Jigen stuck his head out the door. "Lupin suggested an amnio."  He pulled back in and shoved Dawn and David outside.  "Here, your turn.  Xander got them both to hit the target this time."

"Then he deserves a reward," Fujiko snorted, patting Dawn on the back.  "Even if it's not your strongest suit, you still need to get good enough at it to save your own ass, Dawn.  Trust me, it will be the difference between you living and dying some day."  Dawn ran off to get sick again.  "Huh.  Maybe she made her decision," she mused as she went inside to get a snack.  "Hey, where's the peanut butter!"

"In the cabinet," Lupin called.  "Your special cabinet, Fujiko."

"Oh, yeah, thanks," she called back, opening her special cabinet.  Everything a girl might need for a food craving was in here.  Sweet, salty, hot, and peanut butter to go on top of it all.  She smiled as she pulled down the peanut butter, the jalepenos, and the pretzels.  Then she found some bread for a sandwich.  The baby kicked her but it settled down as soon as she started to eat so it apparently liked this one too.  She'd have to remember this for after she was pregnant.  Right before she castrated her husband if he *ever* tried to sleep with her again.  Outside David yelped and she chuckled, shaking her head.  "I think he likes doing that to them."

***

Lupin came upon Xander in his bed again and smirked.  "Back for more?"

"Oh, hell yeah, but can I suggest something?"  Lupin shrugged as he stripped out of his clothes.  "At the end, can you just nudge upwards? I've got a really sensitive spot there," he admitted with a grin.

"Hey, I can try," Lupin agreed, finding the lube already waiting for him and the hole opened.  "Naughty you, did you do all this already?" he teased, slicking himself up.  He pushed in slowly but Xander sank back onto his lap and wiggled a bit.  "Ooh, desperate?"

"Oh, hell yes."  Lupin did as ordered.  "Just before there."  He tried it again and Xander winced.  "After that scar.  Yes, there!" he shouted when the spot got hit.  "Thank you, God and Janus!  The man has found the right spot yet again!"  Lupin laughed, tickling his playmate as he rode him, making him squirm and laugh while he gave him what he wanted.  He'd be tired, but Xander might go jump Jigen finally.  Xander continued to help him by pushing back onto his lap, until Lupin finally sat down and pulled the boy back.  "You do more of the work, Xan, my thighs are tired."

Xander went to town, making Lupin swallow whatever smart comment he had been about to say.  The boy did everything he knew he loved with this man of his and he knew he was going to become addicting soon.  Lupin finally came and Xander grinned down at him.  "Feeling old or should I go on?" he teased, leaning down to kiss him.

"God, Xander," Lupin panted.  "I feel like I just ran a marathon!"

Xander snickered as he slid off the limp cock, picking up his favorite toy to play with it.  He spread himself out so Lupin could see him and went to work on himself, making the other man's tongue hang out.  "Whenever you can get it back up again," he promised, working himself harder.

Lupin moaned and leaned down to kiss him, taking over the toy.  Xander needed longer arms if he was going to do it that way.  "I'm going to nickname you Bunny."  He twisted the toy as it slid into the well-lubricated hole, making Xander keen with need.  Then he got a wicked idea and found the bigger vibrator, using it on his studly little student.  Xander screamed and nearly levitated off the bed, or he might have really done it for a second, Lupin couldn't be sure.  Besides that, the boy was writhing underneath his hands and his cock was leaking and hard.  Lupin gave him a few gentle touches, just a dragging of his fingers, but that was enough.  The boy came with a shout of his name and went limp.  "Good, now you're as tired as I am," he said happily.

"I am?" Xander asked, looking up at him.  He pulled Lupin down to kiss him and let him rest on top of him.  "I can hold off on rounds two and three until you wake up."

"Fuck, I'm getting you a sex slave, Bunny."  Xander pinched him.  "You are!"

"I'm not a little pink bunny with a drum," he pouted.  "I simply take times when I'm really...."

"Overly stimulated?" Jigen suggested from the door.  "I'm buying one of you a gag and I'll expect it to be used so some of us can get some sleep."  He looked down at Xander.  "You, behave.  We need Lupin living, Xander."

"I'm not trying to kill him," Xander defended.  "I simply need some excess energy worn out.  I can't keep imposing on Goemon to wear him out."

Lupin sat up and opened his mouth, then shook his head.  "Never mind, I took that wrong at first."  He laid down beside Xander again.  "You could always come help him."

"I don't like men," Jigen reminded him firmly.

"Jigen, if someone else doesn't start to help him out with this, I'll die," Lupin told him.

"Then let him go wear out a whorehouse," Jigen suggested.  "Just play safely, Xan.  We don't want to lose you, huh?"  He walked away.

"This is not one of the countries you can do that in," Lupin said quietly. "Please don't try."

"Wouldn't think about it, boss.  So, can I go down to Fujiko and complain that you're sexually harassing me?" he asked with a bright grin.  "Watch her splutter?"

"No, sexual harassment is only if it's unwanted," Lupin said, putting an arm around the boy's waist.  "Stay here.  I need a good bed warmer. The sweat's chilling me."  He snuggled in and got comfortable, falling asleep on the padded shoulder.

Xander smirked at the ceiling.  "Now that I'm awake again, I think I can start working on my plans to regain some lost things," he whispered, carefully planning out how to do things like he had before.

***

Fujiko was holding an envelope in her hands, turning it over and over again.   That's how they found her a few weeks later.  Finally, Jigen got tired of it and took the envelope, opening it.  He nodded, handing it to Goemon.  Goemon broke out in a large smile, smirking at Xander.  "It is a boy," he announced.

"Yes, Ishi's a great little guy," Xander said happily.  "I'll have to find him a few stuffed animals soon."

"You will not spoil my child," Goemon said firmly.

Xander leveled a look at him.  "Goemon, we will spoil your child, even if we have to go behind your back to do so.  What other children are we going to get to spoil?  Besides, it'll make the fact that you do most of the nasty stuff apparent."  Fujiko snickered.  "Oh, please, do you think Lupin will be changing diapers?"

"I can't see that," Lupin agreed.  "Diapers are nasty.  Goemon can have all of those that he wants."

"Well, it'll probably be him, me, and Marcus.  They're ruin Fujiko's nails," Xander told him.  Goemon looked at his wife, who nodded.  "That's okay, I don't mind.  Babies are cute and cuddly little demanding monsters.  Then they grow up to ask embarrassing questions."

"Such as?" Goemon asked.

"Think about it, Goemon.  He'll ask why you're making mommy scream, eventually you'll have to explain girls to him.  He'll ask you all sorts of embarrassing questions about why girls aren't built like him too."  Goemon was bright red now.  "Exactly.  And that's just the sex ones.  Eventually you'll have to tell him not to remark on the ugly outfits, strange crooks we run into, or Gramps."

"Hmm.  True," Goemon agreed.  He looked at his wife again.  "You can give the talk about girls and boys."

"No way in hell," she said dryly.  "Lupin?"

"Oh, no, not me," he defended, holding up a hand.  "That's not my field, I only sleep with them.  Xander can do it."

"Sure, Xander's very good at it," Xander agreed.  "Xander had to help have part of that talk with Dawn."  Dawn nodded.  "Since then, I've actually figured out what to say."

"Good.  You stuttered through mine," Dawn put in.  She smirked at Fujiko.  "It's amazing, you're still down here."

"He has self control," Fujiko retorted.

"We will celebrate this later," Goemon assured them.

"And still be more quiet than Xander," Fujiko added.

"Yeah, but I was having fun.  Forcing yourself to be quiet when you want to be loud is a perversion of the act.  It's like you don't really want to be there."

"Hmm, true," Lupin agreed.

"Guys, can we get off the topic of sex," Jigen asked.

"Please," Marcus begged.

"Sure," Xander agreed.  "So, when am I getting my chocolates?"

"I ordered them last night," Marcus admitted.  "I had them sent to Murami so she can forward them."

"When you do, I'm holding the box," Lupin said firmly.  "You will not eat the whole box in two days this time."

"Yes, Lupin," Xander agreed sheepishly.  "I didn't mean to bounce into you."

"I don't care," he said, eyes wide.  "You won't ever get that much chocolate again!  Ever again!"

Dawn chuckled.  "There were some days when he had a coke and a candy bar for lunch back in Sunnydale," she shared.

"It was more nutritious than the cafeteria," Xander defended.  "Snickers have peanuts and good stuff."

"Now I know Rupert was insane," Marcus said dryly, glaring at Xander.  "He let you have caffeine and chocolate at the same time."

"Let didn't really come into it," Xander assured him with a bright grin.

"They make collars and leashes to train people with," Marcus retorted.

"Yeah, and he never pulled one out with Buffy, don't know why, but he didn't.  Though, thinking about it, one of the jobs was at a Master/sub event in Germany to get a lot of pretty colored jewels.  Wanna go, Marcus?  I promise, you'd make a really pretty sub."

"No, thank you," he said with distaste.  "I've never wanted to be that to anybody."

Lupin looked at him.  "I never wanted to be a dancer either, but I did for a job."

"And you sucked at it," Jigen pointed out.

"True," Lupin agreed. "I learned though."

"Yeah, but you still sucked," Jigen reminded him.  "We have it on tape so you can see how bad you sucked."  The younger generation snickered.  "Seriously, he sucked bad."

Lupin blew a kiss at him.  "Thanks, Jigen.  Good to know you were watching me dance around in those really tight tights."

Jigen snorted.  "Not working, I was looking at the head dancer to see when she was gonna kill you, man.  Just like always."

"Uh-huh.  You weren't watching me in those really tight tights?"

"Children, some of us are trying to eat," Fujiko said firmly.  "Oh, damn, I just sounded like a mother," she said miserably.  She looked at Goemon and pouted.  "You made me a mommy, damn you!"  She got up and walked off sniffling.

"Mood swing," Xander said happily once she was gone.  "Goemon, this is when you should chase her."  He got up and followed to comfort her.  "I love those things."

Lupin pinched him.  "Brat.  Behave."

"I try really hard," he defended, then he lost it when he smirked.  "But sometimes I can't be."  He grabbed his breakfast to go, going to work out outside with David, who he drug with him and his plate. "Come on.  You need the work.  Punching is great, but we'll probably run into a boxer."

"Can't I eat?"

"You did eat, you had a whole plateful of food, now you're going to fight.  Then you can eat again."  Xander finished off his breakfast, leaving the plate in the kitchen.  He shoved David outside, following so he could close and lock the door behind them.  "Good.  Now assume the first position."

"Isn't that Marcus' job?" he asked bitterly.

"Yes, but Marcus hasn't eaten yet.  That means you get me today, dear.  Let's go.  Attack."  David sighed but attacked and Xander put him on his back.  "Now, let's try that seriously, David," he suggested with a touch of smirk.  "Like you mean it this time."  The other boy got up and attacked this time, losing his temper a bit.  "Better!"

He blocked and hit back. David tried really hard, but he ended up on the ground again, this time face down.  "Damn it."

"Well, you're getting better."

"We don't fight like this on the streets," David complained.

"David, you're not on the streets anymore.  You'll be in museums, in houses, and even occasionally in alleys, but you're not on the streets anymore.  You'll be fighting people who trained to fight most of the time.  I'm not asking you to duck bullets, I'm asking you to learn to fight to save yours and my ass."  David sighed but got up and started again.  "Better," he agreed.  "Much better."

"I get it, Xander, but it's not like that."

"David, we'll be relying on ourselves.  The older group is going to go on vacation as soon as we're trained so they get some time alone.  It'll be just us pulling jobs, getting into trouble, and having to run for our lives."  David stopped, staring at him.  "Do you think we won't be?  There are warrants out for us.  There's one for you already for that library job.  It's only going to get worse.  The truth is, the cops might win sometimes.  Are you prepared to fight and/or shoot your way out of that situation?"

"No," he admitted quietly, staring at him.  "That vision was very instructive, huh?"

"It was," Xander admitted, "but I'm giving you a chance to make a real decision before your father jumps onto you and probably tells you all this."  David grimaced.  "He'll probably be there when we go to rescue Buffy.  She'll be calling in about six or seven weeks.  By the maze, I want you to make a real decision.  I want you to base it on facts.  I want you to base it on what could and will happen.  If you do this, you're not going to have a family.  You're not gonna have a bunch of kids.  You're not gonna have family Christmas moments.  You'll be lucky to live until you're forty.  Or you'll be lucky not to get arrested.  Your choice, but I want you to see reality.  Marcus and I have nothing to lose.  He has no past that can really impact him. You have a family.  Dawn has some family that might come to depend on her some day.  There may be times when we have to do the slayage stuff still since all the potentials are in the US.  Can you handle that and crime?"

David slumped.  "I don't know, Xander."

"Then you sit down with Lupin and you make damn sure you can," Xander said firmly.  "He'll let you go back to being a fighter for the light.  Let's face it, there's not enough of them.  Your dad could use you and your skills."

David nodded.  "I'll do that."  He tried the door and found it locked.  He patted himself down but Xander handed him a paperclip.  "Eww."

"Tough.  It's a skill even a good guy needs."  David knelt in front of the door, working on the lock.  Xander checked his watch.  After ten minutes he got the door open and walked inside shaking his head.  "David needs help with locks," he announced to Lupin when he ran into him.  "Ten minutes and he couldn't get the back door open."

"How long did it take you?"

"Forty-five seconds to get the paperclip out and about a minute after that," he said with a shrug.  "I'm not a lock pick, I know that."  Xander grinned at him.  "So, if they do decide to leave, they'll be quiet about us.  I can guarantee that and so can Marcus.  Will we get to erase his record?"

"Probably.  You can do that?"  Xander nodded.  "Oh."  He blinked a few times.  "That's damn handy.  Why didn't you tell me you could ensure they couldn't tell on us?"

"You haven't asked.  Dawn probably won't but a simple compulsion to never tell on us would be enough.  David should work with the same thing.  They can be overcome but it'd take a lot of hard work."

"Good."  Lupin patted him on the back.  "Very nice, Xander."  He walked away to find David, who was looking pitifully at the door.  "What happened?"

"I couldn't get the paperclip into the last tumbler," he said miserably.  He looked at Lupin.  "Xander suggested I have a reality talk with you.  He said I probably won't ever have a family, Christmas, or live past forty."

"Well, you might have a family but you'd probably never see them unless you do what Goemon did and even then it's dangerous.  Kids take stuff and it's harder to run with someone that small.  Christmas happens no matter what but you probably won't ever have any of those mushy scenes where you're gathered around the tree singing carols and drinking eggnog.  As for forty, the average age for a great thief to either die or get captured is thirty-eight.  It goes down in proportion to how bad you are at it."

"At my level?"

"Current level?  Twenty-five if you're lucky.  Probably from a homeowner."

"Oh."  He slumped down, then looked at him.  "Xander doesn't want us to do the job, does he?"

"No, he wants you to make a real decision based on reality," Lupin corrected.  "We've been trying, Xander's simply got a stronger sense of what needs to happen to make you see.  We don't expect you guys to take on the stuff we do - especially not the strange and unusual, but to do any of it you'll have to be better.  Xander's right about that.  He's more than ready to go out and work.  Jigen and I both think so.  He's got skills you guys don't.  He's having to cover for some of you guys since you're not learning the other necessary things.  If you all go to Russia, more than him needs to be able to speak one of the local languages.  If you go to the museum, more than Marcus needs to know about art.  Marcus needs some time and you've got until Goemon releases him for field testing to make it up to the level where he's at now.  The maze is a good way to show that to you."

David nodded.   "I'll consider it.  Can you go over tumbler locks again?  I don't know why I couldn't get the last tumbler on the back door."

Lupin looked at it, then at him.  "There's only four."

"There is?"  He frowned at it. "It wouldn't turn."

"The thing turns backwards, kid."  He patted him on the back.  "Come on, even Xander needs more work on locks."  He walked him back to the workshop.  "Xander, we're doing locks," he yelled.  Xander came jogging down the stairs, dressed in real clothes.  "Were you going out?"

"Yeah, I was gonna take Marcus out to case something magical with me," he admitted, slicking back his hair and tying it back.  "I can hold off though.  I know I suck at locks and I need to be better."  He grinned at the locks laid out for their benefit.  "Hmm.  He picked up one he wasn't at all familiar with, checking it over carefully.  "Five or six?"

"Six," Lupin said, watching the boys.  David stuck with the simpler ones and worked his way up as practice.  Xander tried that one and when he got it open in a somewhat acceptable time he moved onto something harder, stretching his range.  "Xan, do the handcuffs for me," he ordered.  He clapped them on the boy's wrists, watching as he undid them with a bent paperclip.  Not the fastest ever, but correct and in an acceptable enough time.  "How far up can you go?"  Xander pointed at one lock.  "You have opened it?"

"I've been working on that one.  I think I've got it."  He picked up the intricate lock and worked on it with a screwdriver instead of a real pick.  It opened and he looked at his watch.  "Not fast enough but I'm not working on speed yet."

"It's a good thing," Lupin agreed.  "Two minutes is way too long, Xan."

"I know.  I need to know how, then work on speed.  It's how I work better."

"Fine.  Then start over and start working on speed.  The later locks can be lessons between."  Xander nodded, working on the lower ones to lock and then unlock them.  He was speedier when he was trying to be speedy but his picks weren't as coordinated as they should be.  "Calm yourself.  Speed is a good thing but so is doing it technically correct."  Xander redid that one, going a bit slower.  "Good.  Thank you."  Jigen came in to watch.  "Xander's getting better.  He's working on doing it at speed."

"Good.  Where were you going?"

"I just heard about something magical sitting in plain sight and I wanted Marcus and I to look it over," Xander admitted. He went onto the next one, getting it open faster than usual, but still correctly and without the scratching noises.  He smirked at Lupin.  "Good?"

"Very good.  It still needs to be a bit faster, but that's much better than usual.  David, you as well, start back at the beginning.  Lock then unlock going for speed.  Speed is often the key."  David nodded, moving around Xander to do that.  He met up with Xander soon and went around him.  "Yeah, I know, but Xander only needs to know how, you need to be more than technically proficient with it."  Xander gave him a little look through his lashes.  "Even if you want to, you can't be good at everything, Xander."

"I know.  I suck at many things.  That's not an issue for me."  He went back to work on that one lock, it had given him troubles for months.  "Permission to use WD-40?"

"Go for it.  I keep a small can in my stuff too," Lupin admitted dryly, watching as the boy unstuck the tumblers then did it again.  "Good enough.  Move on."  Xander moved on, working on speed again.

Jigen nodded.  "Good job, Xan.  I'll tell Marcus you need him for something magical and to put on real clothes."  He headed out shaking his head once he was out of sight.  Xander was still under the impression that he had to be the whole team by himself.

***

Xander stopped the car and turned to look at Marcus.  "Okay, here's the deal.  I need to work on my teleporting.  I can't do that at the house because I don't want them to know I can do it.  It's handy but it's tiring.  I have the placement of where we need to go.  I have the thing to put in its place.  We port in, replace, port out, do some minor gun shopping, then back to the house.  Got it?"  Marcus nodded, smirking at him.  "Thanks."

"How did you learn that?"

"In the vision, from Ethan."  Xander parked the car and put on the security system.  It looked like they might have ducked down to the beach so it'd be fine.  Unless Lupin or Jigen came looking for them.  He took Marcus' hand, showing him the photo of where they were going.  Together they could spread out the energy loss a bit.  They went there, knocking out two guards in the room, then cut open the heavy glass case, replacing something, then disappeared when they heard another guard coming to check on the first two.  The gun shop wasn't open but Xander knew where the owner was so he got him while Marcus rested, then they bought his new gun and headed back to the car, which had Jigen leaning against it.  "Sorry, baby present," he said with a small smirk.  "Technically, it's got a guardian spell on it.  I figured it'd be a good thing for Fujiko.  Oh, here, so you can look it over.  I even bought it," he said patiently when Jigen didn't say anything or take the new gun.

"You're holding back on us, kid."

"Well, it's magical and I can do it, but it's damn tiring and I can't take others with me," Xander told him. "Unless they're doing the same spell."

"Oh."  He grimaced.  "So only useful when you're alone or when we need you to get into a room?"

"He'd have to know exactly what the room looked like," Marcus told him.  "Like with Dawn's portals.  You have to have a very clear view or an extremely good picture."  He handed it over.  Jigen's mouth fell open and he stared at them.  Xander held up the necklace.  "Xander needed to work on it to strengthen it."

"But I can still only do about three of them a day or I'm too tired to move," Xander complained.  "Marc, you get to drive.  Jigen, following?"

"Lupin's in town."  He got into the back and plucked Xander's cellphone off the seat to call him.  "I found 'em.  Xander needed magical practice.  They stole something for a welcoming present for the baby."  He hung up.  "Home, kids."

"Yes, Jigen," Xander agreed.  "Come on, Marcus."  Xander looked back at him.  "We both know Marcus and I need to learn to work together better, Jigen, and I still share and tithe."

"We still want to learn about these things as you're learning them."

"I learned it in the vision," Xander complained.  "You knew about it there."

"There's not here, Xander."

"Yes, Jigen," he said miserably.

"Good.  Home, Marcus."  Marcus got the car turned around carefully and headed back to the house slowly.  "We need to work on your driving skills as well."

"Please.  I don't have my license yet."

Jigen grunted.  "That'll change as soon as we get home."

"Thank you, Jigen," Marcus said politely.  "Can you teach me how to drive a getaway car as well?"

"Oh, yeah.  That's part of the driving lessons."

"Thank you."  He sped up a bit, feeling more confident.

"Not around this corner," Jigen and Xander said in unison.  Marcus slowed down again and they made it around the sharp corner.  Then he sped up again.  "Watch the ruts," again in unison.

"You two are scary when you do that," Marcus complained, watching for the ruts in the road.

***

Lupin walked into his study, slamming the door.  "Give, now," he ordered.  Xander held up the necklace, making him stop and stare at him.  "You stole a single piece of the crown jewels?"

"I put something in its place," Xander defended.  "It's a welcome to motherhood gift for Fujiko.  It's got a guardian spell on it.  No one can poison or stab her when she's wearing it."  He let Lupin hold it.  "I always tithe you, Lupin.  I simply needed the time working with Marcus to get used to him and the magical practice that this called for."

"It was rather simple," Marcus agreed.  "A simple in, out, knock out the guards and cut open the glass job."  He looked at Xander.  "You were a bit fast with the glass cutting."

"That's because there were fifteen other guards in the tower.  We were positioned directly out of line of sight of the surveillance cameras but I wasn't going to trust the glass cutter not to show up."  Lupin flipped on the radio, and they all waited for a news update.  Eventually it came on and it did say that someone had broken into the tower and had nearly taken something but hadn't managed it before they had run from the guards.  "It wasn't in the front of the case so they probably won't check it," Xander quipped, relaxing again.  "So, can I give it to her?"

"Yes, Xander," he sighed.  "How many times a day can you do that?"

"Three and then I'm out of energy for a good few hours.  I also have to have an extremely detailed picture of where I'm going.  Down to any people and any dust."  Lupin sighed.  "It's not the most useful skill but I need to keep in practice, just in case."

"True.  It could get you out of a jail cell though," Lupin pointed out.

"Which is about when I expect to use it," Xander admitted.  It had been the biggest time he had used it before. "So, if the other two decide to skip, can we stay with you guys or should we make a go of it together?"

Lupin smirked at him.  "If they go, you're staying.  There's no way in hell I'm letting you out of my sight now.  You're much too good.  I'd hate the competition."

"You mean he can't do things on his own?" Marcus asked.

"He'd have to tithe and it had better not compete against the group's stuff," Lupin pointed out.

"Deal," Xander agreed.  He burst out laughing.  "The announcer thinks you were in the Tower.  Should we call and correct them?"

"Sure."  Lupin dialed the request line for the radio station.  "This is Lupin the Third.  Would you please tell the announcer...."  The announcer came on and the radio went quiet.  "It wasn't me.  I'm on vacation and nowhere near Britain.  You can pass that back however, but it definitely wasn't me.  I'd be glad to meet the thief who did, just to compare notes, but it wasn't me.  Pass that on, okay?  And can you play some George Thoroughgood?"  He hung up and looked at the boys.  "Get changed.  Present it to Fujiko on the way upstairs, boys.  Say it's from both of you."  Xander nodded and undid his hair, following Marcus out the door.  Lupin snickered.  "They're so transparent sometimes."  He made sure the phone was on the hook since no new noise had come from the radio, but it had been hung up.  He stayed to listen, noticing the announcer sounded breathless when he came back but he did play the song he wanted.

***

Xander tapped on the room where Fujiko and Goemon were sitting and arguing about names.  "He'll have to be a fourteenth or you'll have to have another one," he pointed out.  Fujiko opened her mouth, then nodded, waving them inside.  "We come bearing gifts that we have carefully stolen ourselves," he announced.  Marcus walked in with him and closed the door.  "I needed the magical practice so we went to retrieve this and put something in its place."  He and Marcus sat on the coffeetable in front of them, handing over the necklace.

"It's warded to protect you against stabbings or poisonings," Marcus assured her.

"Wow."  She looked at the sapphire and diamond necklace, then sniffled.  "This is so pretty, guys!  Thank you!"  She hugged them both and then looked at her husband. "See, they get very nice presents."

"They do, but we're still going to get official welcoming presents," Xander assured her.  "Or at least I will.  That's a just-in-case thing.  I didn't want you to be vulnerable and like I said, I needed the practice."  He grinned at Goemon. "I'm not trying to show you up, man.  We love you guys."  He patted her on the stomach.  "Can I still call him Ishi?"

"That makes the most sense as a nickname," Fujiko agreed.  She put the necklace on and then took it off.  "Ow."

Marcus checked it over, then checked the baby.  "Ah, it's an opposite to his innate skills," he said appreciatively.

"Then I'll wear it after he's born," she said firmly.  They nodded.  "Good.  Thank you, guys."  She hugged them again and went to put it up.

"Magic?" Goemon asked quietly.

"Magic," the boys said together.

"Ah.   Next time try for something more practical."

"Oh, we are," Xander assured him.  "I'm getting him a really soft and pretty bear."

Marcus nodded, flipping his hair back.  "I'm getting him some footie sleepers."

"Those are more than welcome," Goemon promised.  He patted them both on the head.  "Are you tired?"

"I need a nap," Xander admitted.  "I might misjudge my swing and hurt someone."

"Fine.  We will work on that then."  The boys groaned.  "Neither of you are perfect."

"Of course not, we're not you," Marcus said dryly.  "Please, master, we're both exhausted and we do know how to fight like that."

"Very well.  Then nap and you can aid me with the other two's lessons."  They nodded, going up to their rooms to nap, Xander even went to his own room to nap.  Goemon went to meet with Jigen and Lupin in the kitchen.  "Two of them are ready to fledge from the nest."

Lupin looked at them.  "If the other two don't go, would you guys object to them staying?"

"They're handy to have around," Jigen pointed out.  "I could use the backup.  Xander leaves me the better targets anyway."

Goemon shrugged. "It would give me more time with my son."

"Then we're agreed?"  They nodded.  "Good.  If the other two don't go into the life, then we'll keep those two.  If they do, then we'll watch over them and accept them when they come running back."

"We need to do a field trial.  I've never seen Marcus work," Jigen pointed out.

"He works much like Goemon, only without the cutting everything," Lupin sighed.  "He's more focused on being a well-rounded fighter thanks to Goemon's training and your working with him.  How was his driving?"

"He doesn't have a license and he acted like a newbie."

"Then we'll have to fix that.  I agree, we should pull a job."  He looked at them.  "Any favored targets?"

"I can't believe they went *there* and did that," Jigen admitted.  "That took balls."

"Where did the necklace come from?" Goemon asked.

"The Tower of London."

"Ah."  His eyes went wide and he pointed. "How did those two manage to get in there in such a short time!"

"Teleporting," Lupin said dryly.  "He tell you the three times in a day thing?"  Goemon nodded.  "Think he was lying?"

"No," Jigen said firmly, shaking his head.  "He wasn't.  He was too tired to drive on the way back.  He landed shaking and ready for a nap."

"Okay.  Then I want a real skills list of what they can do magically."

"I'll work on Marcus about that," Goemon offered.  "Anything else?"

"Anyone have a good target?"

"Jewelry show next month," Dawn said from the hallway.  She walked in with the paper.  "It says it's heavily guarded and in a place that's nearly impossible to get into."

Lupin looked it over, then nodded.  "It's hard, but not terribly difficult.  Some disguises might work."

"Something easier, Lupin," Jigen said quietly.  "David won't be able to pull that."

A book thumped onto the table between them, making them jump.  Then Ethan appeared.  "These people are vexing me beyond all sense," he announced.  "Could I perhaps talk you into stealing the three things I need from there for that potion?"

Lupin smirked at him.  "What sort of challenge is that?"

"I had Xander do it last time and he nearly got caught."

"Ah." Lupin nodded, looking at the section in the book.  "Where is this?"

"There are some catacombs underneath Cambridge.  Almost no one knows about them.  They're from the days when the Church ran everything in the world.  They used to hide artifacts down there.  There are no new guardians but the old ones aren't dead yet and they're fairly picky about whom they let down there.  Xander had to go in as a priest."

"Um, last time?" Dawn asked.

"In the vision. Some of us experienced it like it really happened."  He looked at Lupin again.  "I desperately need the things down there.  It isn't much of a challenge for more than one of you, but I don't know how to do it on my own.  I'm not a thief."

"Good point," Lupin agreed, flipping the page to go on.  "Let me think about it.  I'll give you an answer tonight while you make up a magical skills list for the boys."  One was handed over.  "Really?" he asked, smirking at him.

"It figures you'd want one after that stunt Xander just pulled," he said dryly, but he was smirking.  "That boy is the reason why you got gray hairs."

"He's caused a few of mine too," Jigen agreed.  "How long is that thing?"

"That is spells they should know if they don't already.  Protections, wardings, warnings, things of that nature.  Plus a few healing spells.  Xander needed that dreadfully the last time I knew."  He waved a hand and disappeared.

"Show off," Dawn said bitterly.  She couldn't do that.  She looked at the list.  "That's long."

"Then we'll let the boys go through it and see what they already know and what they need to learn."  Lupin handed that to Goemon.  "Get them to do that when they wake up, Goemon."  He went back to reading.  "I think this would be a more than acceptable trial.  Not too hard for a group, but you'd have to work as a team."  He shrugged and pushed it over to Jigen.  "You think?"

"Anything in it for us?"  Lupin whispered in his ear.  "For that I'd sleep with Ethan," he noted, reading over the section describing the place.  "Pack, Dawn.  We'll be leaving in two days so your group can do a job."

"We're not ready."

"By now you should be," Lupin reminded her.  "Two of you are."  He looked at her.  "And you can't use any magic near there.  It's blocked."  She sighed and went to find David.  He looked at the older ones.  "Fujiko could pull this one by herself if she could charm one of the priests."

"I doubt it," Jigen pointed out.  "They'll make it or they won't."  He closed the book, looking at Lupin.  "We'll be there to guard against death, right?"  Lupin nodded.  "Good.  I'm wondering if they're related to the mass of disappearing bodies recently that way."

"One way to find out," Lupin pointed out cheerfully.  "Research time."  Jigen sighed and followed him while Goemon dealt with their students.  By dinner that night, Marcus and Xander had taken over the research duties, leaving them to relax for a while.  Or in Jigen's case to try and beat David and Dawn into gunmen.

***

Xander looked at the cave entrance in front of him.  It was dark, it was dank, and it smelled bad.  "BO," he complained, shaking his head.  "They have water."  He straightened his clothes and wandered inside, nodding at the men who were gathered in front of the inner entrance.  "Hello.  I'm here to authenticate the artifacts."  He handed over the copy of the letter Lupin had sent on Cambridge's letterhead last week.  "I know it's a bit hasty, but there is someone who's depending on this for their dissertation."

"We do not let anyone near them," one of the men, the man in the middle, said.  "They are not open to gawkers, especially profane ones."

Xander raised an eyebrow.  "Really?" he asked.  "And who are you to tell me that I can't do what I was sent here to do, when I'm on my own campus' property?"  The man sneered.  "That's fine, I can bring down my department head."  A friend of Lupin's.  "Shall I call him?"

"No, you should leave," the man spat.  "You are not one of us, not one of the holy chosen."

"No, I'm not," Xander agreed.  "Why would I want to follow a God whose main point is conversion against the free will we supposedly have?  Or one who seems to damage every native culture He comes into contact with?  I'm sorry, the God I believe in gave us all free will so we can make fools of ourselves at times so we have reasons to repent."  The men looked stunned.  "Welcome to the twentieth century.  Now, move, or I'll have you removed."

"We cannot leave the cave," another of the men said, stepping forward.  "The only way we may leave is our death."

Xander looked at him. "Then one of you is a walking dead person for those girls you've been killing," he said dryly.  They gasped.  "It was rather obvious it was one of you.  Now, the college has said that these artifacts shall be examined and verified or you'll all be leaving the caves without the college's property.  After all, your Church gave it to us.  We're looking over our property."

"They are holy relics!" the spokesman said hotly.  He lunged at Xander and Xander put him onto his back.

"If they were truly holy relics, they wouldn't need guards," he sneered.  "Now, move.  Or else I'll have you removed.  Your choice."  He walked past them, looking over the artifacts laid out on a table.  An altar table to be exact.  "Hmm, magical setup."

"Bite your tongue!" the young man said angrily.  "Our Church does not practice such profane and unholy things!"

Xander looked back at him.  Then he flipped open the book and read from the front cover.  "As this book now belongs to the Priest, Father Fipperson, and the only White Mage within the Church, so the materials inside will be used for the Will of God and how He deems its usage.  Only the Angels will guide me on my magical journey and that to aid God in his Creations."  He closed the book and looked at him.  "You were saying?"

"They're not like that!" the headman said, advancing on him.  Xander pulled a gun and shot him on the calf.  "How dare you!"

"Shut up," Xander said bitterly, glaring down at him.  "Your Church used the very things they supposedly hated in the herb healers and the natural women of the world.  They used it to their own advantage time and again.  Your church has put out more propaganda in the last six centuries than anytime before, except for the Witch Trials.  And since that was mostly to gain property and to gain revenge, I don't think you should say anything further.  Now, we will be examining these things.  If you do not like it, feel free to walk out of here."  He looked at the younger man.  "How did you come to be here?  There's not supposed to be any additional men added to the original three."

"My mother gave birth to me and gave me to them."

"Ah.  Yes, we've seen a report on that," he admitted bitterly.  "How she was kidnaped, raped, held hostage until she gave birth, then sent on her merry way.  Pity."  He looked at the altar setup again, grimacing.  "Where is the cauldron, the silver brush, and the dagger?"  He looked again and the men gave him a horrified look.  "Yes, I do know what's here."  He walked around the cavern, finding the hidden area easily enough, the rock stuck out.

"No!" the headman moaned.  "Not those."

"Shut it or next time I'll hit your stomach."  He wiggled the rock out, brushing the cobwebs out of the way.  The silver wasn't tarnished and it wasn't glowing precisely but it was still in very good condition.  He carefully brought each piece out, ignoring the spiders that came out to attack him for destroying the webs.  He blew at them and they faded, disappearing totally.  He looked on the underside of the cauldron.  "To Janus I bless thee," he read, then shrugged.  "Authentic even."  He carefully added them to the setup on the table, then looked it over again.  "Something's still missing."  A spider crawled out and he flicked it off the table, stomping on it.  "Quit that, or else," he warned to the room in general.  He turned and found a larger spider so he picked up the silver dagger and stabbed it, then wiped the ick off on his pantsleg as it died in front of him.  "Good."  He found the missing item quickly and put it onto the table. It glowed and he said a quiet prayer to Janus and the God some of it was consecrated it to.   The glow faded and a big box appeared.  "Thanks be to you, Lords."  He gently packed everything.  Then he bowed to the priests.  "Your valiance has been noted.  You are free.  Report to the nearest church for reassignment."  He walked out with the box, wincing as his pants started to be eaten as soon as the spider's blood reacted to the air.  "Ow, owowowowow."  He handed off the box to Marcus and stripped off his pants, watching as they were eaten.  He managed to get his wallet and everything out, then rubbed his sore thigh.  "I think I need some burn creme."

Jigen handed him a trench coat.  "Put it on before you're accused of flashing someone."  He glanced around as the students moved around them, then walked them to the car.  "Hard?"

"One big spider demon.  Some baby spider demons.  A few insistent priests.  Did we get the cops in there?"  Jigen nodded.  "Some of them aren't bad."

"No, some of them aren't.  They're also not there anymore," Marcus pointed out.  Xander glanced at him.  "They disappeared when the light did.  I was watching.  The others are still there and they were the ones mentioned in the police reports.  What are we doing with the rest?"

"We'll hand them to Lupin's friend," Xander told him.  "They're not worth anything outside of a scholar's home or library."

"After your buddy Ethan looks them over," Jigen reminded him.

"Yeah, but some of them aren't Janus's things.  Some of them are Christian."

"Then those will probably go back to the college," Marcus agreed.  They got into the car, letting Xander hold the box in his lap while Jigen drove.  Marcus would have driven but Jigen was still having flashbacks from his last lesson.  "Should we stop by the Watcher's Council and have them robbed as well?  They have many priceless things now that they've rebuilt."

"Sure," Xander agreed.  "After this.  That's not for fun and profit, that's revenge."

"Sure, kids.  We'll watch your back while you do that," Jigen said firmly.

"We'll need to rob their DNA banks as well," Marcus said thoughtfully.  Jigen stopped the car and turned to look at him.  "Really.  They keep a genetic piece for each slayer they have material on and they keep one on the best Watchers and important lines."  Jigen's mouth hung open.  "My grandfather's is in there.  Father and I were a disappointment but I suppose my sister is beloved by them."  Jigen shuddered and started the car moving again.  "Did they get one on Buffy?"

"Yeah, Giles took blood, hair, and some skin a few years back, after we first started. He said it was mandatory and they'd send someone else if he didn't.  He took it off a wound though so she wouldn't miss it."  He shifted the box to his other leg.  "These holy things are getting heavy, Jigen, and my leg's still burning.  Can we go faster?"

"It's a few hour trip, Xan," Jigen reminded him.  "Unless you can do that popping thing to get there faster."

"Not with the artifacts."  He handed them to Marcus.  "Here, you watch them."  He looked down at his thigh, then nodded.  "Pull over.  I'm going to get this fixed before my skin melts."  Jigen stopped the car and Xander got out, stretching up then disappearing.   He landed in Ethan's study, pulling off the coat quickly.  "Hey, Ethan, I need an anti- corrosive.  You got any made up?" he called, looking down at where his flesh was starting to blister.  Lupin and Ethan both joined him.  "You know, if I could feel that really well it'd probably hurt."

"What did that?" Lupin asked.

"Spider demon's blood."  He looked at Ethan.  "It hurts."

"Of course it does."  He went into the kitchen, making up a neutralizer.  He handed the paste over.  "Slather that well and rest.  The artifacts?"

"With Marcus and Jigen."  The phone rang.  "Hopefully that's not Jigen saying the dagger took over Marcus and had him stab him."  He worked on his thigh while Ethan answered the phone, looking at Xander occasionally.  Ethan said something quietly and hung up.  "We in luck?"

"No, the dagger didn't.  The cauldron did.  Marcus just started telling dirty jokes apparently."

"Well, it was blessed in Janus' name," Xander quipped, spreading the stuff out evenly.  "It's still burning.  Got a manual?"  Ethan found it and pulled it down, letting Xander snatch it to look through.  "There it is," he said, handing it back.  "Doable?"  He winced.  "This stuff is still burning."

"Absolutely," Ethan agreed, going to make some of that with cream of tartar instead of baking soda this time.  By the time he came back, Lupin had the wound cleaned and this time Xander sighed in relief when it was slathered on his thigh.  "There.  Next time, don't do such foolish things."

"I wiped it on my pant leg," Xander defended.  "After I stabbed the thing.  It started to burn after I got everything out."

"The fresh air wasn't tainted with its essence," Ethan pointed out.  He checked the boy over, removing the few spiders from his hair and putting them into a bottle.  "I have a use for those.  Come, Xander, let us bathe you.  By the time you're out and cleaned up, they'll be here."

"I can do that," Lupin offered.

"You can help," Ethan said with a smirk.  "Xander is quite fun to bathe but I can share sometimes."

"I thought you gave him up."

"I have but that doesn't mean I don't like the boy any longer."  He walked his charge into the master suite, then into the bathroom once Lupin had paused to admire it.  The tub was big enough for all three of them to climb in but they put Xander in there and got him cleaned up.  The nearly-obligatory groping and squeezing got some laughter from the boy but they all enjoyed it quite a lot.  Jigen came in, interrupting their fun.  "What?" Ethan asked.  "We're cleaning off the burns."

"I don't want to know," Jigen pointed out.  "We're back.  Everything's downstairs.  Marcus is locked in the library."

"Thank you," Lupin said with a grin.  "He's being giggly."

"It's probably from the acid," Jigen said grimly, heading down to deal with the artifacts.  Xander came down in a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, his wound clearly showing.  Jigen hissed in sympathy.  "Ow."

"Very ow.  Never put baking soda on that.  Cream of tartar is the correct remedy."  He bowed to the box then unpacked it and laid it out correctly.  "Okay, we're done," Xander announced.  Ethan walked in and a few things rattled.  "Hey, he's giving you back to the college.  Quit."  They settled down.  "Sorry, holy artifacts and Ethan don't always mix," he explained.  "At least if they're not holy to Janus."  He got out of the way, watching as Ethan picked up the things he needed and the other things associated with Janus, then Xander repacked the box and Marcus got to take it back to the college.  "What am I doing now?"

"Go look up healing spells," Ethan told him, taking things to his work area.  He started work on the potion, relaxing once he had done so.  Everything was still perfect, even though he did have to clean the blade a few times to repurify it.  "Next time, stab the spider with something other than the sacrificial knife," he called.

"Sorry, Ethan, it was at hand."  Xander walked into the library and to the healing section, pulling down one of the three books so he could find something for his thigh.  It really ached.  Jigen came and sat at the research table with his crossword.  Xander's hand inched over and he snatched it, grinning at him.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Give it back."  Xander gave it back.  "Thanks.  Now go fuck Lupin senseless to cure that mood."

"I'll wear it out tonight, once I'm healed again."  Xander turned the page, reading over the short spell.  He tried it and it worked part of the way.  He sighed and moved onto something harder, doing it again.  "Oh, come on, if you don't heal, I can't get laid," he complained.  This time the healing spell worked completely and Xander went to find clothes.  He and Ethan were about the same size.  "Ethan, I'm stealing clothes and heading out to get laid.  Need anything while I'm gone?"

"Wear underwear this time, Xander," he called.  "Or else buy me new clothes."

"Yes, Ethan," he sighed, shaking his head as he went back upstairs.  He grabbed the suit he liked from the closet and put it on over his boxers and t-shirt, then stole a pair of socks and shoes too.  His wallet was found in the trench coat.  His keys were too.  He checked his wallet, then sighed and made a call.  "Murami, do I have the right cards to spend a lot?"  She read off the numbers.  "Yup, I've got those. Thanks, babe.  I'm going to have fun.  Want Lupin or Jigen?"  She requested Lupin so he handed the phone over with a blown kiss. "I'm off to get blown."  He disappeared, heading to London and a house he was quite familiar with from his time.  It was time for them to get to know him again.  He walked inside and bowed, then grinned. "I'm desperate, go for very long times, and need it very badly.  Anyone free?"

The Madam looked him over, then nodded. "Obviously."  She'd heard it before and he probably only lasted a few minutes.  "Payment up front."  Xander handed over his special card and she gaped at him.  Then she looked at the name then at him again.  "Oh, damn, you're him."  He beamed and nodded.  "Fine. I'll have a room set up for you.  Need anything special?"

"Got any guys?"

"A few, I'll send them up in spurts."  He strolled after her to the room she would make his, getting ready for the first girl.  She knocked and walked in confidently.  She would leave crawling and pleading for fluids, but he had a lot of fun and so had she.

***

Lupin looked up as Ethan came out of the study with Marcus.  "He okay?"

"He's fine.  Dawn is on her way back with David.  They've got nearly a full trunk of supplies.  Her sister just called Marcus.  There's been an incident."

"We figured there might be," Lupin agreed.  "When we get there, we'll deal with it."  He stood up.  "Jigen, we're going to Cleveland.  Where is your student?"

"He's still probably wearing out the whorehouse," Jigen said as he joined them.  "He's in London somewhere."

Xander appeared, then disappeared and got his wallet, coming back while he was stuffing it in his pocket.  "Sorry, nearly forgot that.  What's up?"

"We're needed to help Buffy."

"Why?"

"Because she's got something eating people."

"Hmm, that thing again," he said dryly.  "Sure.  As soon as Dawn's back so she can make the portal thing."  He looked at Ethan.  "I'll get it cleaned and send it back."

"Thank you."  He shook his head.  "Have fun?"

"Much.  Cost me nearly ten grand, but I had a lot of fun," he said with a smirk.  "Quality house."

"Obviously.  How many did you go through this time?"

Xander shrugged.  "I lost it in the middle of it.   It was one of those pleasure-only moments."

"So you did the beserker thing on pleasure?" Lupin asked.  Xander nodded.  "Feel better?"

"Much.  I'm not even bouncing now."

"Good," Jigen agreed.  "I hate it when you bounce, Xander."  He handed over the weapons he had been keeping for the boy.  "Yours I believe."

"We'll need silver bullets and things," Xander pointed out.   He looked at Marcus.  "Do we want to buy or steal?"

"Steal," he said with a wicked grin.  "I know the inside of the safe."

"Oooh, show me, show me," Xander said excitedly, bouncing a bit.  Marcus sent over the mental picture and they disappeared, coming back together with armfuls of stuff.  Xander had to lean against Ethan for a good few minutes but it was enough until he could lie down.

Marcus stroked his new crossbow, grinning at Ethan.  "They shouldn't miss it too much.  We didn't take near half of the crate of silver bullets or bolts."

"Good," Ethan agreed with a small smirk.  "Let me get you something to carry those in."  He went to find them a bag, letting Xander nap until Dawn got back.

***

Giles looked up as the portal opened, gaping at the people coming through.  "Xander," he breathed.

"Morning.  The thing under the parking garage still?"

"Um..."

"Dawn!" Buffy yelled, grabbing her to shake.  "What are you doing!"

"You called," she pointed out, knocking her backwards.  "I brought help.  Xander's better than I'll ever be."  She shrugged and waved at Angel.  "Hey, pile of ashes in waiting."  She looked at Lupin and grinned.  "This, of course, is my sister Buffy.  That dark and gloomy one is Angel.  The one next to him is David's father, Gunn.  The one next to him is Fred, and she's cool so we protect her.  Behind the counter is the shocked Giles.  Xander, who gets to go?"

"Like I care?" he suggested.  "No Gramps?"

"He's out trying futilely to get his boss back," Giles said, looking confused.  "You came back?"

"You called for help, I'm in a bloodthirty mood," Xander pointed out, heading out the door.  "Anyone who's following, follow."  He tied back his hair as he walked, letting Lupin stay to taunt his friends with Jigen if he wanted to help.  Marcus stayed to pilfer books, he couldn't resist.

Jigen looked at Lupin, then at Giles, who was glaring at them.  "What?  You didn't call?"

"We did.  We called for David and Dawn, to change their minds."

"Oh, well," Lupin agreed.  "You want one, you get all of us."  His phone rang and he answered it.  "Yeah, Goemon?"  He listened. "That's fine.  She's more important.  Stay there and pamper your son and wife.  No, we're heading back for the maze after this.  Sure.  You behave.  No more tickling the son from the inside for a few days."  He heard the blush pop into being. "Sorry, couldn't resist.  Keep her napping and happily in bed.  We'll be home soon.  No, Cleveland."  He hung up.  "She's having cramps and possibly false labor pains.  He's waiting hand and foot on the stomach of doom."

"It's what I'd expect him to do," Jigen agreed, sitting on the edge of the table.  "So, David, this is your dad?"  David nodded, grimacing.  "Did you want to talk to him?"  He gave the boy a nudge.  "Xander did suggest you talk to him since this might be the last chance if you finish your training."

"Leave my son alone," Gunn said angrily.

"Hey, he makes his own choices with us," Lupin told him.  "If he wants to be a thief, then we'll finish training him.  If not, then we'll have to deal with him."  He shrugged.  "It happens."

"You're a cold bastard," Angel said, glaring at him.  "I thought my heart didn't beat."

"It doesn't," Dawn told him snidely.  "Xander's threatened to lock the knowledge behind something so strong so we can't tell about it if we come back."

Buffy looked at her.  "What is wrong with you?"

"Having you as a big sister."

"Oh."  Buffy looked hurt.  "I tried, Dawnie."

"Do not call me that!" she snapped. "You lost that right when you turned on Xander and supported Willow sending him to Hell."  Buffy slumped farther.  "Good."  She glared at Giles.  "You still alive?"

"To date," he admitted. "I haven't seen Spike yet."  Lupin looked at him.  "Ethan and I are as linked as he and the boy are," he admitted quietly.  "I know it all."

"Good."  Lupin looked at Jigen, then nudged him when he saw Marcus nose-deep in a book.  "That looks familiar."

Jigen looked and nodded. "It does."  He looked at Giles.  "Wasn't there something about an antidote for the slime this time?"

"I've started it already," Marcus noted, lifting his head.  He smiled at Fred.  "Hello, dear."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "How are you dealing?"

"Much better now, Marcus, thank you."  She ruffled his hair, earning a disgusted look.  "Sorry, but you're so cute!  Such a little book geek."

He smirked at her.  "And a very good swordsman."  He smirked at Gunn, who turned away from him.  "David, this is the person that you'll have to deal with if you don't decide to go on with your training.  Goemon said to burn your bridges now since you have the chance."  Marcus continued to read his book, at least until Lupin took it from him.  "What?"

"Do not get that deeply into it," he warned quietly.  "We do not need another Willow."  Marcus nodded, giving him a calm look.  "Understood?"

"I do, Lupin, and I agree.  I don't need what I did before."  He took the book back.  "This is on healing.  I figured we'd need it soon enough."  He slid up onto the table to read.  "Where's Gramps?"

"Still beating on the demon to try and get his boss back," Giles said, leaning on the counter to keep himself from harming the men in front of him. "I'm surprised.  No choker?"

"Goemon has it," Lupin told him.  "Xan had a panic attack when he saw it.  Faith?"

"She followed him."

"Good, then she and Xan can handle the demon," Lupin pointed out.

"Since some of us remembered things, some of us took a few matters into our own hands," Giles said, pressing a button in front of him. A cage dropped around the table.  "I believe the inspector will be quite happy with us."

Buffy nodded.  "Very."  She looked at Dawn.  "You can join them or us."

"Or I can kill you all," Dawn pointed out dryly.  "Or Xan can."

"Xander won't," Buffy said smugly.  "He'd never hurt me."

"Bet me," David sneered.  His father caught him by the back of the collar.  "Xander said he'd cap you damn quick, father.  Just for you watching a few times.  See, he could see who watched and who didn't."  He glared at Angel.  "I think he's got a special part of Hell for you."

Inspector Zenigata walked down from the room he had been hiding in.  "Ah-ha!  We trapped you."

"And we'll still be rescued," Jigen sighed, looking at Lupin, who shrugged.  "Days?"

"Hours."

Zenigata snorted.  "That other gunman's being taken out by my boss.  The demon was killed earlier."

"Yay.  What makes you think Lavelle can't fix him?" Lupin said with a small chuckle. "He's better than I am in some things."

"Still, he won't get past my boss."  Faith walked in.  "He in custody?"  She shook her head, then fell forward, gurgling up blood.  "Faith!"  He walked over to check her, finding the stab wound in her back.  "What happened, did that bastard do this to you?"  She shook her head, clawing at his chest.  "What happened?"

"Demon, higher court," she moaned, then fell unconscious.

"Get her some help," he ordered, looking at Giles.

"I've already called an ambulance," Giles promised.  "What of Xander?"

"Xander's probably already taken care of the demon and your boss," Lupin told him.  More cops came rushing in and carried Faith off, then got their cage rolling.  "Isn't this table heavy?"

"It is," Marcus agreed, popping outside of the cage with the table.  Then he laid into a few of the cops.  David came down to help but he was knocked out.  Dawn cast something at them, stunning most of them.  Marcus looked at the cage door.  "I can't open that.  Is that a dagger blade or a screwdriver?"  Dawn moved him out of the way and went to get it open but Buffy tried to grab her.  So Marcus knocked her out with a calm strike across her windpipe.  The Inspector was backed away from them, looking on in horrified shock.  Marcus sneered at him.  "Some of us are very well trained, Inspector."  He saw the back door open and looked back at Xander.  "You all right?"

Xander walked in, calmly buttoning his shirt.  "Just fine.  The demon was snacking on the cops.  Hey, Gramps, your boss needs medical attention.  He fell down to worship the giant cock."  He looked at the cage, then moved Dawn and got it open for her.  "There."  He waved.  "After you.  Dawn, home."

"She's staying!" Buffy said as strongly as she could, and Giles shouted it.

"That's up to her," Xander pointed out, nudging Dawn.  "Up to you fully, princess."

"Xan, I couldn't do it," she said.  He nodded.  "I...I froze."

"I know."  He patted her on the back.  "If you or David want to stay, that's up to you.  We'll take your warrants out.  We'll block you from saying anything about us.  Then we'll let you go."

She nodded, swallowing hard.  "I think I need to."

"That's fine.  Open the portal to the main house.  We'll go back there.  Marcus, weren't you going to steal books?"

"Already packed," he said smugly, helping Dawn with the portal.  "David?"  David choked as his father grabbed him again.  "Let him go, it is his choice."

"He's a minor."

"He's eighteen," Lupin corrected. "He's able to make his own decisions."

Gunn let him go when Angel laid a hand on his arm.  "Fine."  He gave his son a shove. "Go with them and die or come back home and get forgiven."

Xander looked back at him.  "If he comes back home, he'll be Connor's second. He'll never trust any of you ever again except for Fred."

"And I'm Connor's helper anyway," Fred agreed.  "David?"  He looked torn.  "I need you, Connor needs you.  We're the last warriors for the light outside the Slayers."

David looked at Marcus.  "They need me."

"We knew already," Lupin promised.  He watched as Xander did both compulsions and blocks. Then he smiled at Dawn.  "We'll pack things for you and get rid of any remaining stolen stuff you have at the house.  Yo, Pops, take good care of Dawnie.  She won't have any warrants and she's the one doing all the profiling stuff."  He and Jigen walked through, Xander and Marcus behind them.  Marcus had to call a book back but the portal closed behind him.  Behind them, Dawn fell to her knees crying.

"Good.  Now that you're back, things are going to change, Dawn."

Dawn got a sudden flash from the Powers.  She stood up and sneered at her sister. "You're right, things are going to change, Buffy.  In the next two years, you're going to lose everyone in this room but David, Fred, Gunn, and me.  Giles will be turned.  Angel will probably die, he'll be sucked somewhere again and made to deal with that realm for a bit.  The potentials are going to find that you're not the great chief you pretend to be."  Buffy screamed and went for her, but Dawn knocked her down, silently thanking Goemon.  "That's right, Sister dear, the Powers said I'm to stay.  At least for now."

"You're going to jail," Zenigata said coldly.  "You have warrants, no matter what those crooks do."

She snorted and shook her head.  "No, I don't.  You see, I'm not real," she told him.  He looked stunned.  "I don't have fingerprints like normal people.  I don't have normal person DNA.  I don't have anything like that."

"Are you some sort of mutant?" Gunn demanded.

"No, sweetie, I'm the Key," Dawn reminded him.  "I'm a fucking ball of energy.  I can shuck this mortal body and do another one with a bit of work.  I know how to now.  That's what the Powers showed me.  For good guys, you certainly do a lot of bad things."  She looked at David.  "I'll be out with you soon, babe.  You rest."  He nodded, looking calm.  "Or else I'll take over Europe.  There's no slayers over there and there needs to be a few of them."  She looked at Giles. "Minor flaw in your plan, Giles.  Removing all the potentials means that anything that happens where they were will still happen.  It doesn't move just because you moved the girls."  He moaned.  "Europe's being overrun.  That leaves Xander, me, and David to cure it until we can find a few of the potentials and train them in the proper manner.  Don't bother us."  She looked at Zenigata again.  "You know, in the vision Xan had we got together, I have no idea why."  She disappeared, taking her nephews with her.  She smiled down at them.  "Hi, guys.  I'm your Auntie Dawn."

"Mommy talked about you," the older boy said, smiling up at her.  "Are you a nice lady now?"

"Yes, Morgan, I am a very nice lady," Dawn promised, patting him on the head.  "But your mommy's having some problems and none of us want you hurt.  Therefore, I'm going to be taking care of you from now on.  We're going to find a house, find some of our own potentials and train them the right way.  Along with you two.  Got it?"  They nodded, following her up to the house she had bought in the last year as a personal hideout.  She showed them to their rooms, then checked on the phones.  They were on.  She called Xander's cell, giving him the address.  "Send Demara to me, the Powers told me it was necessary.  I've got my nephews."  She hung up and went to her own room to look at the things she had kept here.  A few judicious sales should set her up for life.

Back at the magic shop, Zenigata was jumping up and down in rage.  "How could you let her get away!"

"Oh, quit," David said coldly.  "Dawn is a power unto herself.  She's the only one who can ever hope to catch Lavelle.  She's also one of the few people in Europe who *has* to survive to a very old age.  Now, you can either help her with that or not.  Your world is threatened and you're throwing a kiddie fit.  No wonder you can't catch Lupin."  He looked at Fred.  "Is Connor around?"  She nodded.  "Then let's do that."  He walked her out, ignoring his father totally.  He had a lot of groveling to do.

Angel looked at Gunn.  "If I'm sucked somewhere, I'm putting you in charge of LA's operations," he said firmly.  "Let the boy prove his worth. Let him do his job.  Make up with him between the battles."  Gunn nodded and Angel walked out of the shop, heading to track Fred to give her instructions.  He couldn't find her.  He couldn't find David either.  He did find Spike, and found himself unconscious before he could do anything else.  Then he found himself hit a few times and owning a few bones broken.

"Well, now, look at what I found," Spike said with a smirk.  "How fun.  For me."  He laughed and drug his sire off into the night. He could get the others back later.  No more lust spells on him, Rosenburg's taint was now gone. Things were going to be different now.  He stopped when he saw a lounging figure at the end of the alley, frowning at it.  "Go away, pillock."

"Oh, I can't do that," David said smoothly, advancing on him.  "I could care less that you have Angelus, Spike, but I will warn you.  Don't turn Rupert.  It will make some people very miserable, including Lavelle."

"Who the bloody hell is Lavelle?"

David smirked at him.  "You know him. It should come to you soon enough."  He stroked the vampire's lip with a thumb.  "Have fun with him, Spike, but remember, turning Rupert means that he'll be around to head the Watchers for a very long time.  Think about it before."  He winked and walked off.  "Try to leave Faith alone too, she supported Xander.  Her and Fred."

"Xander?" he asked, frowning.  "What's this got to do with Xander?"  He didn't get an answer so he dropped Angel onto the ground, looking down at him until he woke up.  "What the bloody hell did you do to the whelp!" he demanded.  "This cryptic shit is for plonkers like you, not for me."

Angel swallowed.  "Xander was given by Wesley," he hissed.  He knew his life was forfeit within minutes if he couldn't talk Spike out of this.  He could see the carnage in his eyes.  "He's a consort against his will.  We all know about him."

Spike paused, then shuddered.  "Heard about that when I was in Hell.  Nasty shit, poor sod."  He shrugged. "He's livin' though.  You're not."  He vamped out and lunged at Angel.  Angel tried to get away but Spike had broken both his legs.  Angel fought him off as best he could, but Spike was still whole and Angel was getting more and more injured. "Spike, don't," he pleaded.

"Poor thing," he cooed.  "Does it hurt?" he sneered. "Good.  Have a taste of the hell you put everyone through with this brooding crap."  He looked up.  "Yo, Rayne.  I've kept my end."  A portal opened and sucked Angel into it.  "Good riddance," he sneered.  Then he turned and went back to the magic shop.  He had some business there.  The Fred person was cute and shy, but she was feisty.  She was like a good Glinda, only geeky.  He had admired Tara so he'd leave her alone.  Gunn was going to get it though.  He was trying to yell at a kid who had to be his son.  Spike strolled in and vamped out.  "Welcome home party for me?" he asked.

"Spike," Buffy gasped.  "No, it can't be!"  She backed up, grabbing a stake.  "We saw you walk back into the Hellmouth."

"Yeah, but someone higher up thought the world wasn't fun enough for you anymore."  He released a gas grenade and waited while everyone choked and passed out.  Then he smirked.  "Where to start?"

Dawn appeared, tapping him on the shoulder. "Don't, Spike.  Do you *really* want Rupert as a childe for your entire life?"

"Hell no, Ethan said I could make him a minion and then break him."

"Hmm, do that and the world loses them both," she agreed.  "Sorry, some things are important.  Leave it with this.  Oh, that young guy is David.  He's cool.  He and I just spent the last year and a bit training with Xander."

"Xander?  Training how?"

She grinned and kissed him on the cheek, earning a shove and a dirty look.  "You'll find out.  I'm not allowed to tell, the same as David wasn't.  Now rush off before Buffy wakes up.  Tell her I'm saving her sons from her life."  She disappeared.

Spike laughed and walked over to wake Buffy up, glaring down at her. "Had a chat with the niblet.  She said she's saving your sons from your life."  He strolled out the back door, heading home.  H was tempted to eat the guy in the trench coat but he would probably taste funny since he had a breathing mask on.

Zenigata looked around the scene in horror.  What in the hell was going on!  What had Lupin drug him into this time!  How was he going to survive this!  He calmed himself.  "That girl, she knew and she will tell me," he muttered, leaving to track her down.  She had to leave some trail somehow, no matter how many times she just appeared somewhere.  She had when she was an art thief, she would now.  She might have trained with Lupin, but she wasn't him and he had given up on her.  She'd be much easier to catch.  That new one though, he would have to worry about him.

***

Xander looked back as the front door of the maze opened, shrugging at the guy running it.  "I tried, man.  Can you make it less sensitive to me?  I really wanna run it."

The maze guardian looked at him, then nodded.  "I can.  Step out of it, sir."  He watched as Xander walked back through the gateway, then adjusted it so it was four times as hard and much past the level of survival for most people.  "Try that."  Xander nodded and walked inside.  "People like him shouldn't be allowed to do the job," he said bitterly.  "They warp it for the rest of us."

"Actually, I'm this way against my will," Xander called back.  "Can you turn it up again.  This first creature is still bowing to me."  The guy let him back out and cranked it up all the way, then let him walk through.  "Thanks.  Like I said, I didn't choose this, it was done to me.  I only wanna be the gunman Jigen knows I can be."  He strolled on, finding the obstacles in his path had multiplied.  This would take all his skills and memories, but he could do this.  Even if some things changed he could do this.  He felt a sharp sting on his side and pulled out his knife to get that bush, moving on after spraying his side with an antibiotic spray.  He had made the same mistake last time, it was time for him to start paying attention.

***

That night, Xander looked over as someone joined him at his table. "Hey, Tornado."  The woman looked stunned.  "Sorry, bad habits and all that. What's up?"  He ate another bite of pasta.  He'd need the energy tomorrow when he and Jigen went through the maze.

The fifth in command for London's syndicate looked him over. "Some people say you're very good."

"I am very good.  I just got done with my solo maze tonight."  He shrugged.  "I'm going again tomorrow with Jigen, then the group goes the last day so Lupin can get used to us."  She gaped.  "What's up?  Your boss causing problems again by being a bigger thief and a slavedriver?"  She swallowed and nodded.  "I know how that can be.  Tell me what's been going on?"

"He tried to kill Millicent last night."  Xander's eyes hardened.  "You know of her?"

"Yeah, and she'd be the one I'd put in charge.  Is she okay?"  Tornado shook her head.  "Can she be made okay?"

"Only if you can do that funny healing thing that some people claim they can.  She's nearly brain dead."

Xander sighed.  This would definitely change things.  "I've got to wait until after the mazes, but I will gladly come help you with this."  He patted her on the hand.  "In return, I need someone to help me set up things to soothe myself.  I need people I can go to for information and security reasons."

"I won't tell on my own people."

"I'd never ask you to," he promised.  He never had.  "What I have in mind is something like Lupin's network.  I love my boss dearly, he's a great guy, but I need my own.  I'm not always with them and I need something like that sort of network.  Anything you did for me I'd be paying for."  She nodded, relaxing again.  "I'm also looking to start setting up some things.  I'd be letting you watch over them for me when I'm not there. Making sure no one broke in, things like that."

"I could do...."  She stopped and swallowed.  "He followed me."

Xander looked back and shrugged. "So he dies a more horrible death."  He ate another bite.  "Disappear, act like I insulted you after I invited you."  She nodded, slapping him then flouncing off.  "Ow."  He rubbed his cheek, then went back to his dinner.

"I know you're acting," a male voice sneered.

Xander looked at him.  "Really?  How?"

"Because no one doesn't wet themselves in front of me."

Xander stood up, staring the man down.  "Why would I want to do that?" he asked lightly.  "Because you're so big and bad?"  The man nodded.  "Then check the maze standings.  They should be updating soon."

"You won't live to see it."

Xander shrugged.  "Try.  I'm sure it'll make your people happy when I kill you."

"You're nothing."

"No, I'm a Lavelle.  Get it right."  The man backed up so he glanced behind him.  "I've got it, Lupin."  He looked at the guy again.  "Leave, now.  I don't deal with people who rip their own people off for profit.  It actually makes me a bit...upset.  As for your girl, I invited her over. We all know about my...appetites."  He smirked.  "She didn't want to play.  Pity, but her choice."  The man backed away further.  "Go.  Now."  The man ran off.  "And play in traffic while you're at it!" he called after him.  "Save me the train fare!"  Horns honked and they all winced as cars crashed together.  "Huh.  Cool."  He sat down, beaming at Jigen and Lupin.  "You're early."

"We came looking for you.  They made the maze harder?" Lupin asked.

"Just for me.  It'll be fine for all of us together."  He ate another bite.  "Am I buying dinner?"

"Sure, Xan," Jigen agreed, waving a waitress over.  He ordered dinner and some wine.  "Thanks."  She looked at Lupin, who nodded that he wanted what Xander had.  She left them to it.  "You've still got your wallet on you?"

"I've got my card on me," Xander corrected.  "My wallet's back in the hotel."

"I noticed it was on your bed," Lupin agreed, handing it over.  "What was that about?"

"He's making his people tithe him sixty to seventy percent, plus charging fees to sell stuff."  He ate another bite.  "Unfortunately, he's hurt the person I would have preferred to have take over."  He ate one last bite and leaned back.  "Sorry.  I'm a bit tired."

"Hey, perfectly understandable."  Lupin's phone beeped and he pulled it out, looking at the update for the maze.  "You're in second in the maze."  He looked up.  "Interesting."

"Who's first?"

"Syndy."

"She's cheating.  We all know she's cheating.  She called up a demon to carry her through it."  He wiped his mouth.  "They'll be watching the tapes tonight."  He leaned back confidently.  "So, after this, what am I doing?"

"You know you can't build your own empire without me knowing now, right?" Lupin pointed out.  Xander nodded.  "Then why try?"

"Because they were handy when I was pulling things myself and I miss my houses.  You never got to see the one in Japan, but it was beautiful."

"I'm sure," Jigen agreed.  "But we'll still know."

"And I'm still going to do it.  I miss some of the things I retrieved.  I'm not going to hide it but it's not going to hurt things, right?"  Lupin shook his head. "Then did you mind?"

"No, just pointing out that you don't need to hide things.  Wow, that's Hal," he said, nodding politely at the man walking up to them.  This man had been Sweden's intelligence community.

Xander looked up and grinned.  "Hi.  Lavelle."  He shook his hand.  "Are you watching the maze tapes?"  He nodded.  "I thought so.  Did Syndy cheat?"  He nodded again.  "Does that mean I'm in first?"

"That depends.  Your maze was different."

"They had to make it harder for me.  I emanate where I was taken and used against my will.  The things bowed to me so I had them make it harder so I could still go through.  Didn't anyone else have theirs made harder?"

"Syndy now did.  She'll be rerunning it tomorrow."  He looked at Jigen, then at the both of them.  "We shouldn't have so bad a problem when you go together."  Xander shook his head.  "Good.  So far you're the only one who's had their made harder and one of three who survived.  The other one was after your time."

Xander nodded.  "I'll accept any fair outcome.  It's not fair that she did that.  If she wants to play on that level, I could bring out my own skills and beat her at it in a lot less time."

"How?"  Xander rolled up his sleeve to show him the mark.  "You're him," he said wisely.  "We heard you had joined this side of the life."  Xander grinned at him.  "Fine.  Yours was a legal pass-through.  The singles' maze will be done tomorrow for the remaining members and those who cheated.  The doubles' mazes will be after that or the next day."  He nodded at Jigen again.  "We'll test you both before you can go through.  You mute him some."  He walked on to talk to another maze entrant eating after their turn through.

"How hard was yours?" Lupin asked. "I thought it was doubly hard."

"They started at four times.  I did it at the top level," he admitted, sipping his wine.  The waitress brought the other two their foods.  "May I please have some more breadsticks?" he asked.  She nodded and went to get them for him, then left them alone with the check.   Xander put down one of his cards, then pulled out another one when the manager sent a dirty look his way.  "Sorry about that," he said when the waitress came back with his card.  "I'll get that straightened out later."  He handed over the unlimited one and called Murami on his cell.  "Which ones are at their limit?  I only used one."  He listened to her check while she ate.  "Sorry, I'm doing dinner too.  I'm buying tonight."  She mumbled something.  "Thanks."  He waved the waitress back and handed her the third card.  "Sorry, I took that one shopping and the payment hasn't reached it yet," he admitted sheepishly.  "I have mates with expensive tastes."  She shrugged and this time it went through.  "I did pay it," he defended.

"I know, Murami makes all the payments for us," Lupin agreed.  "Are you poor now?"

"Not hardly," Xander snorted.  He swirled his wine around, then grabbed a breadstick and nipped the end off.  "There's a tithe waiting for you in the mail."  Xander ate another bite, looking at him. "Forty percent is good enough, right?"

"Twenty would probably be fine," Lupin assured him.

"Yeah, but I couldn't break that up that much," he said with a grimace, eating another bite. "Eat up, Jigen, there's lots of plants in this one."

Jigen dug into his dinner.  "Thanks for this, Xan.  How are you getting rid of things?"

"That's the other reason I needed to build that network," he admitted.  "To get rid of some things."

"We have people for that," Lupin reminded him.  "I'll get you hooked into mine."  He and Xander shared a look.  "Not that I didn't like yours, but it'll take some time."  Xander nodded.  "What was this new one?"

"Hmm?  Demon holding cavern."  He finished that breadstick and reached for another one.  "Nothing too major, just big and heavy."'

"Do we want to know?" Jigen asked.

"Not if you want to eat."

"Thanks."  Jigen ate another bite.  "This is a really nice place.  Expensive?"  Xander shook his head. "I'll have to remember this."  He ate another bite.  "Will we have problems with the group one?"

"No, Goemon seems to blanket anything I can do when we're fighting together, so does Marcus.  You blunt me some.  I always radiate more when I'm alone.  Ours should be nearer to the normal level than not."  He took another sip of his wine, then grinned at Lupin.  "You're staring.  Am I that fascinating?"

"Yes.  There's a lot of stuff I don't realize yet, even with that vision."

"Yeah, but then again it's always been that way.  No one's ever seen the full me.  They're usually happier that way."  He shrugged and looked calm and peaceful.  "The same as no one's ever really known the full you."

"No, no one does," Lupin agreed, thinking about it.  "Hell, I know more about you than I do about Jigen's past, that's enough for me."

"Thanks, boss."  Xander grinned at him then pulled out a gun and shot someone trying to stick up a nearby patron with a sucker-cup arrow.  "Don't do that in front of me, I might get offended and have to do something really nasty."  The man with the gun ran away.  "Sorry about that," he said, putting back up his toy.  He looked at Jigen again. "I get to do a lot of that."

"You have how many weapons on you and you fired a toy?" Jigen asked.

"It worked."

"Good point," Lupin agreed, nodding as the patron left the restaurant.  "And it didn't scare anybody else."  He dug into his dinner, eating quickly.  "This is really good.  I've got to come here again."

"I like eating here," Xander offered.  "It's nice, peaceful, and the traffic's close enough to hear but not smell."  Both senior crooks nodded.  "Ooh, Gramps," he said, nudging Jigen under the table to look.  "He's pouting."

Lupin and Jigen both ate quicker.  "Finish your bread," Jigen ordered.

"Yes, dear."  Xander nibbled on the one in his hand and grabbed another two to take with him, then they left once the older men were done with their dinners, slipping past Zenigata on the way to the car.  He was mumbling about his own car being missing.  Once they were safely inside, he cackled. "Oh, yeah, Gramps lives on the other side of this block.  That's the other reason I like eating here.  He never looks for me there."  He handed over his extra breadstick when Lupin looked back at him.  "It's a harmless bit of fun."  He relaxed and nibbled on his breadstick.  "How's Fujiko?"

"Going still," Lupin sighed, pulling out into traffic.  "Hotel?"

"Yeah," Xander agreed.  He patted himself down.  "I left my wallet on the table."  He grimaced and concentrated, bringing it to him with his headache.  "I think I could use a nap now.  I'm due in Murami's office first thing tomorrow morning."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed.  "I'm sure you'll be nice to her."

"Oh, I will.  I adore the woman. She makes me good interest."  He stretched out, closing his eyes.  "Tell me when we get back there."

"Fine," Lupin agreed, looking down at the boy.  "Bike?"

"Safely parked in a secure garage."

"Good boy."  Lupin switched lanes and headed toward the park.  Since Xander was napping, they could relax for a bit and watch the night start off.  He glanced at Jigen.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  Just thinking."  He glanced back at Xander.  "I did see us being together."  Lupin nodded.  "I can't do that."

"We're not asking you to," Lupin pointed out.  "I might be tired from wearing him out, but we'll go on like this for now."

"Lupin, he's wearing you out."

"Unless he suddenly takes Marcus or you in hand, there's no cure for that," Lupin pointed out.  "Besides, it's not like I *object* to having great sex and being on top."

"You top him?"

"Yeah, each and every time," Lupin said.  "Why?"  He noticed the blush.  "Oh, you saw one of those rare times.  Yeah, it took ten years and a few crises but we did wear you down about that.  It was really rare."

"I wish I could remember all that too," Jigen said bitterly.

"You'd miss the kids, Jigen," Lupin said quietly.  "I know I do."  He looked at him.  "Sometimes things have to happen certain ways."  Jigen grabbed his head and winced.  "Getting more of it?"  Jigen nodded so he shifted over to stroke his back. "It's all right, quit resisting.  Just let it flow through you."  Jigen passed out.  Lupin looked up.  "That wasn't very polite."

"We've never been known to be polite," a deep voice said from Xander's mouth.  "He won't remember much more of it but it might help that some."  Lupin looked back at him.  "What?  You expected me not to keep an eye on you after my darling one did that?"

"Well, no," Lupin admitted.  "I just expected some subtlety."

"Eh. I try."  Xander's shoulders shrugged.  "Once again, he won't ever feel any more damage from anything that was done to him.  I've weakened the line between he and Ethan as much as possible.  As for the whole sex thing, that's between you three.  He will have to take up the choker sometime to save you.  It must happen at least once.  The twins are important.  As are you first two."

"I already had one picked out."

"Then use it but don't expect it to be the same, Lupin the Third.  Things are not changing that far.  He won't need his network the way he did but he will still want some of it.  Encourage that.  Encourage him to steal the pretty purple and green crystals as well.  Marcus has seen his problem and will not become addicted.  That leaves the problem of Lotus coming to be.  She must.  The world will need replacements for all of you and a few lost warriors.  We were wrong to expect him to do it for us.  Oh, the ship thing?  It still might happen, only in a different manner.  It could be worse or better.  One never knows."  He shrugged again then Xander went limp.

Lupin looked at Jigen as he woke up. "I hate it when people take over Xander's body."

Jigen gave him a funny look.  "Huh?"

"Janus."

"Oh.  Sorry, boss.  He okay?"

"Yeah, just fine. Just a funnel."  He patted Jigen on the shoulder.  "How's your head?"

"Just fine.   Now that I know some things, I think we need to talk, boss."  He glanced back at Xander, then at him.  "Want to take a walk like men?"

"No, we can do it here.  He probably already knows anyway," Lupin sighed.

"Good.  That unappreciation thing we were doing, it's got to stop.  I hated it before."

"Me too, I never realized I was doing it until Xander reacted though."

"Then this time we've got to be a bit more aware.  Now, which of the kids *have* to be born?"

"My first two, your first two, Ishi and Lotus.  The others were extras or special in other ways."

"Plus the last one so another old me is born," Xander said tiredly.  "Keep it down, guys."

"Sorry, Xan."  Lupin looked at Jigen.  "It'll happen however it does," he said quietly.  Jigen nodded his agreement to that.  "Then we won't worry about it until we have to have Lotus born and turned toward magic."

"Goemon will kill us," Jigen pointed out.

"Not if we don't tell him."

Xander sat up, resting his head on the back of the bench seat in front of him.  "He knows, guys.  I told him that first night.  He knows all about Ishi and Lotus.  He understands but it pisses him off in a few creative ways.  He'd rather the kids had a choice in some things."

"She will," Lupin pointed out.  "Outside of Ishi being able to fight with his father's sword, the magic stuff won't make it so she can't do things."

"Especially since Morgan won't be Pop's anymore," Jigen offered.

"Good point," Xander agreed. "I'm still wondering what *had* to be changed to prevent that last thing from happening."

"I have the feeling it's you living in that choker or your network, those seem to be the biggest two changes," Lupin offered.   "If so, it might have already changed enough."

"I hope so."  Xander grinned.  "I'm still not stealing those power holding crystals for him.  He can leap off a tall building without a cape."

"That's between you and him, Xan," Lupin agreed, answering his cellphone. "Yeah?"  He grinned.  "Hey, Murami.  What's up?"  He listened to her say something about her office not being a good delivery point.  "Sorry about that.  Xander didn't know where to send it this time.  I'll teach him better."  He grinned at her quiet words of what was in it.  "He said he couldn't break it up.  That makes me very happy.  Do you need to talk to him, he's napping in the back seat."  He handed the phone back.  "Murami."

Xander listened to her short rant. "I'm sorry, sweet and generous one.  I knew we were going to be in town and I had to ship it out since I couldn't carry it with me. I'm sorry they disturbed you.  Usually I use my mailing system but they're about to be raided and I didn't want to risk this one."  He listened to her calm down.  "Are we still on for ten?"  He smirked.  "Good.  I'll see you then.  Yuppers.  Have a nice night, Murami."  He hung up.  "She intercepted it through the usual mailing system."

"I figured as much," Jigen agreed. "What was it?"

"A fist-sized sapphire," Lupin said happily.  "Have we been checking for portals?"

"No, this time I warded everything around me so none can open without me knowing the second it starts.   This time there will not be a new hellmouth in Fujiko and Goemon's bedroom."  Jigen looked back at him.  "It opened while she was looking one over."  He looked at Lupin.  "How's your daughter?"

"I've been looking for her but I haven't found her yet. Her mother said she's away at school.  I've checked all the usual ones."

"Have we tried a 'net search?" Xander asked.  "Googling her name and all that?"

"I hadn't yet," Lupin admitted.  "I'll do it once we get back to the hotel."

"Provided no one turned us in for tipping so badly," Jigen reminded him.

"It was shitty service, of course I didn't tip well," Lupin said firmly.

"That hotel did get much better in a few years," Xander agreed.  He relaxed again. "Let's go back and check on the room.  I could still use a nap before my early morning meeting and the maze tomorrow night."  He yawned and slumped down in his seat.

Lupin started the car, backing out of their spot.  He headed back to the hotel, taking them somewhere else when he saw all the cop cars.  The one he decided on got him a funny look from Jigen.  "What?"

"This is where she ran to after that fight," Jigen said quietly, glancing back.

"And?  Are you planning on being deflowered here?"  He got out, letting the valet take the car.   They headed in and got a suite, then took Xander up to it so he could nap.  Their stuff would be gotten back tomorrow.

***

Xander peeked into Murami's office, grinning at her.  "Ready for me?"

"If you're ready for me," she agreed happily.  He walked and she shook his hand.  "How are you this morning, Lavelle?"

"Fine.  You?"

"Well enough.  I need my masseuse."  He walked around and worked on her neck, making her moan.  "Damn, you're handy.  Now I see why Lupin keeps you around."  She patted him on the hand.  "That's enough."  He walked back around to his seat and sat down.  "Now, you mentioned knowing that some things had to be done.  What?"

He pulled out the list he had made.  "These."  She looked it over, then looked at him.  "It's an odd thing, and I know you don't like odd things."

"No, I don't.  How do you know about these and the dates and what's needed?"

"Um, the strange odd thing. See, I kinda got a really long vision."  She gaped at him.  "Seriously.  Lupin got it, Jigen got it, Goemon didn't but he knows some of it."  She shook her head.  "Want me to prove it?"  She nodded.  "Fine.  Today we'll have a rerun of the maze.  Syndy should be announced dead in about five minutes by my watch.  You can check the maze stats."  She turned on her computer and got onto the site they were updating the statistics on.  She glanced at him, then at the clock.  Then she hit the update button and gaped at it, then at him.  "The first time she had a demonic minion carry her around the danger.  This time she couldn't.  They set it a bit too high for her power levels but she managed to get past everything until around the middle of the maze if everything was the same.  Some things have changed a bit."  She checked on it, then nodded and sighed, picking up the list again.  "Sorry, I know you hate the strange stuff but I want some of the things from that back."

"Back?"

"Murami, it would have been my life if the kidnaper had put that necklace on me."

"Necklace?"

"A diamond and ruby choker.  It changes sex."  Her mouth fell open. "Yeah, some things need changed and quickly.  So, can we work on that?  And did you get the money I had wired?"

"All safely in that new account you wanted set up," she admitted.  "I suppose I don't have to understand, Lavelle."

"Xander, Murami. You deserve the right to use my proper name."  He saw her glance at the wall screen and grinned.  "Really?"  She shook her head quickly.  "Special friend?"

"Mostly," she admitted.  "Dawn?"  She came out.  "I'm sure you two know each other."

"Of course," Dawn agreed, hugging Xander.  "I didn't want to spook you.  What'cha doin'?"

"I'm getting back some of the stuff I had in the vision."

"Oh.  Why?"

"Because I liked it, Dawnie.  It's amazing, but I was a great thief.  Even better than now."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "As you can see, only a few things are this year's and that one may need a closer eye kept on it. The scientists were killed halfway into it and I'd like them to finish the work this time."

"I'll see what I can do," Murami agreed.  "Thank you, Xander.  I like challenges."

He grinned.  "Oh, that's nothing, but don't worry about it, Murami.  Did you remember to pay off my exclusive card?"  She nodded.  "Thanks.  I called to check on it last night and it hasn't made it on there.  It actually got refused last night."

"I'll check on it for you," Murami assured him.  "There will be some in a new name soon."  He nodded and kissed her cheek before leaving them alone.  "Now, what is that all about, Dawn?"

"I was sent to make sure that he was doing some of the same things.  Can I see the list?"  It was handed over.  "Oh, goodie, he's going after the guys who want to build the battle armor and the comic company.  They always made him happy."  She grinned and handed it back.  "Other than that, I just need you to liquidate my stuff and set it aside.  I'm setting up a trust for my nephews since Buffy's been convinced to sign custody over to me.  I've also got to find a few of the potentials and have them trained.  Europe won't continue correctly without a few slayers here."  She waved and walked out.  Outside the building she was grabbed and pulled into an alleyway.  "Zenny," she said, smiling at him.  "What's wrong?  Are my warrants still in effect?"

"No," he said bitterly.  "They're not."  He looked her over.  "What did you call me?"

"Zenny.  It's a pet name."  She grinned at him.  "What's up?"

"I want to know why that guy in Cleveland and Lupin both think I'd ever touch you."

"Well...."  She made a face, then sighed.  "Okay, it goes like this.  Xander got a vision the other day from Janus. It was what his life would have been had the kidnaper done something specific.  Everything is mostly the same as it was in it, but some things in it have to happen."

"I don't believe in Janus or visions."

"Yeah, well, magic exists," she said, pulling out a cigarette for him and lighting it without the help of his lighter.  "As I said, it does exist.  Lots of things exist that most people don't like to think about."  He took a few quick puffs.  "Let's head to my house to talk this over.  The babysitter is going to be nuts if I don't make it home soon."

"Do you have anything to drink?" he asked.

She nodded.  "A fully stocked bar and the kids'll be napping in a few hours.  Come on.  I've only got to stop at the store for dinner."  She walked away, letting him follow.  "Which way to the nearest store, Zenny?"

"East and don't call me that.  The only people who get to call me pet names are the ones I'm sleeping with."

She looked at him and smirked. "That's up to you."

"You're still a crook."

"No, I was a crook.  Now I'm a single mother living off the proceeds of her former bad living and doing some profiling for your boss."  She got in to drive, speeding through the traffic once he had buckled up.  "Don't worry, the kids'll behave.  They're good most of the time.  My sister had them in a baby military academy.  I'm still trying to fix some of that.  It's unnatural for little kids not to laugh and play."

"She tried to file charges of kidnaping against you," he said bitterly.  "Someone overrode her, saying she wasn't competent to make those decisions."

"She's probably not.  The Watcher's Council didn't like that she got pregnant in the first place.  Fortunately, I'm going to be an excellent mother."  She pulled up in front of the market.  "Anything in particular you want for dinner?"

"Anything's fine.  Get whatever the kids like," he said tiredly.  She walked inside and he realized he had just agreed to have dinner with her.  Her, a crook.  One who had already tried to seduce him.  What was he doing?

She came out with two bags and grinned at him.  "I leave all such important personal decisions to you," she reminded him when he opened his mouth.

"Do you read minds too?"

"No, but your eyes show very clearly what you were thinking.  I'm not seducing you, merely offering if you want.  I'm lonely and you look like you are."

"You didn't sleep with Lupin and Lavelle?"

"I slept with Lavelle a few times and Lupin once."

"Then why leave them?"

"Because Lavelle made me see what the life was really like and I didn't want to kill people.  I'd much rather steal things and not have anyone notice me.  I don't want to have to train to kill someone just in case.  I don't want to be lethal, I wanted to be good."

"That's not how it usually goes."

"I know, which is why I'm not with them anymore."  She turned onto a suburban street.  "Hold on, we've got someone following us."

He glanced back. "It's one of us."

"Good.  Yay.  I'm still protecting my house.  I'm paranoid that way."  She spun around the corner and down an alleyway, then hid in a darkened driveway while they went past.  Then she backed out and continued on their way.

"Want me to blindfold myself?"

"Why?  They don't have a reason to arrest me and you're nice enough to have visit now and then."  She pulled into her driveway and closed the gate behind her.  "There, now for the security system."  She flicked it on and someone yelled. "Sorry," she called, letting them go.  "Must be the neighbor or the yard guy."  She walked into the house, letting him follow. "Guys, I'm back," she called.

"Hi, Auntie," Morgan, the older one, said happily.  "Bad guys come over.  They wanted to talk to you about getting rid of Uncle Xan."

"Well, they're just dumb then, huh?" she asked happily, pinching his cheek.  "Come on, let's go put up dinner.  Then I'll drive them off.  Got it?"

"Yup, but can they keep Jerry?"

Dawn handed the bags and the little boy to the cop. "I'll be right back."  She walked out onto the back patio.  "Let my nephew go or else," she called sweetly.  "Lavelle won't be the one you're worrying about."  A man stepped out of the bushes with a scared, quiet Jerry.  "He okay?"

"He's fine.  We want the one known as Lavelle."

"He's going through the double's maze today," she said with a wave of her hand. "Go find him."

"It is not for that reason," he said bitterly.  "He is one of us yet he does not honor our ways."

"He honors your ways very well, Traxson Bishop.  He just does it in his own way.  The guy isn't your lapdog.  He'll never be your lapdog.  He honors the covenant he made.  He even warned you that the Cairo facility was going to be raided. How is that not honoring you?"

"Still," he said coldly, "he is not one of us.  We should not make a deal with him.  He is untouchable to us."

"Yo, Xan?" she called.  Marcus appeared. "They think Xan's not talented."

Marcus burst out laughing.  "I'm sure he's not, that's why they had to turn the maze up to the highest setting for him," he agreed.

"Those things are unholy and not of us."

Dawn looked at him. "Yet, I'm still considered one and that's what I do."  She hit him with a light pinch of power and he jumped, letting her nephew go.  "In the house, Jerry."  He ran that way, starting to cry now.  "You better pray if he's hurt."

"I can fix it."

"Good, then do so," she agreed, crossing her arms.  "Before I have to walk inside and tell the good Inspector exactly who you are."  He blanched and looked toward the house, and Jerry's voice started to babble at high speed.  "Thank you.  Off my lands and away from my family.  Doing such things only results in being sent to Hell."  She grinned suddenly.  "Unless you want to go there?"  He shook his head, putting a hand on his sword.  "Pity."  She opened the small portal she had set up for defensive purposes and sucked him in, then looked at Marcus.  "How's the maze looking?"

"Xander came in first for the singles' maze," he admitted.  "He and Jigen are about to go through now."  He disappeared so he could inform Lupin of this event.

Inside the house, Zenigata stared at her in shock.  "Who was that?"

"There's a select group of very talented people who train the others like them.  They usually end up being the power behind the power.  Legitimate and illegitimate businesses both prosper from having their help.  I was given some training by them.  They and Lavelle have a non-confrontation pact."

"You don't have to keep calling him that.  I saw his license last night."

"Really?"  She smirked and pinched him on the cheek.  "Aren't you so cute."  She took the boys to check them over, then got them calmed down by playing a board game with them.  "You could help."

"I've always sucked at board games," he admitted bitterly.  He sat down to watch them, relaxing in the friendly atmosphere.  "Will you help me catch them?"

"I can't.  Xander bound any and all knowledge of what they're doing now from being spoken."

"I heard that part at the shop," he agreed.  "What about otherwise?  You probably know that boy better than anyone and he's the one making Lupin stronger."

"He'll also be the reason Lupin retires and sits back to run his empire from a beach somewhere."

"Another part of the vision?"

"No, in that they had kids."  She made her move and the boys pouted at her.  "Hey, I can't change the spinner," she pointed out, patting them on the head.  "What should we have for lunch?"

"San'wich?" Jerry suggested.

"Sure, I can do that," she agreed, smiling at them.  "Then you guys can go down for a nap," that got a scowl, "while I talk to Zenny."

"Woman...."

"That's still your decision and your name's too long for the guys here to say."

"Fine," he sighed.  "If I quit complaining, would you stop?"

"Maybe," she said, shooting him a wicked grin.  "We'll see."  She went back to helping the boys play until they were fully calm and would continue to behave while she made them lunch.  When she brought out the lunch tray, she found the boys in the Inspector's lap getting read to.  "You do very good at that," she said softly, putting the tray on the floor.  "Once the story's done, guys."  They wiggled but didn't get down.  He had a very nice, deep, soothing voice when it wasn't hysterical or angry.  Once the boys had eaten and put to bed, she leaned against his chest for a hug.  "You do that very well.  Your voice was quite nice."  She kissed him and felt the power arc through her body toward his.  "Hmm."

He felt like he should be shocked but for some reason he wasn't.  It felt good and right to him.  Like he had on the day he had accepted his badge.  He picked her up and took her to an empty room, letting her steer them.  He even accepted some gentle instruction from her, something he never did with anyone else.  In the end, it was worth it.  He was limp with exhaustion and more than happy to hold her for a while so he could nap.  She kissed him gently.  "What was that for?"

"For being so good."  She wrapped him in her arms and pulled him closer.  "You rest, Zenny.  I'll make a big dinner."

He realized he wasn't going to get rid of that ridiculous nickname now but for some reason he didn't seem to care.

***

Xander and Jigen came out of the maze with Jigen holding his side and wincing and Xander looking really pissed at something.  "Not go well?" Lupin asked, sitting Jigen down to look at his side.

"They added something that shouldn't have been in there," Xander said darkly, going to look at the people who ran the maze. "Since when was a human assassin with a long bow part of the maze?"  They looked stunned.  "If not, they're dead but you might want to search for others."  He stomped back to Jigen's side, helping Lupin deal with the wound.  "He'll be fine."

"He will.  It's not that deep," Lupin agreed, binding a long bandage around it to give him some pressure over the hole.  "Let's get him back to the hotel.  Can you do anything about it?  Like a healing spell?"

"I can try but it might not work real well," Xander offered.

"If he does, it would disqualify you all," the guardian told them as he walked up to them.  "It would be seen as enhancing what he already had."  Lupin gave him an incredulous look.  "Even that jolt of healing he did inside to heal the other one may be counted against him."

Xander pulled himself up to his full height, then shook his head.  "Hal!"  The big blond man walked out of somewhere and over to them.  "We were attacked in the maze by something that wasn't supposed to be there.  I'm not allowed to try and heal the injury?"

"What were you attacked by?"

"Someone with a longbow," Jigen said, handing over the arrow tip.  "We took it out of my side in there."

Hal looked at it, then at Xander.  Then down at the guardian.  "How did a human get in there to lie in wait?"

"I have no idea," he admitted.  "But they can't use healing spells.  He gave the other man one while in there."

"As he should have.  There are to be no other human menaces in there.  Is he still in there?"

"Not unless he could live through a head shot.  I deposited most of him in the middle of a sucker bush," Xander admitted.  "Can I or can I not try a healing spell on his side?"

"You may.  As long as you do not make him better than he was before all this started.  He can only be as good as he was when he came in to register."

"That's fine.  All I want to do is to take care of the hole and the pain."

Hal nodded.  "That is welcome enough.  I will find this human."  He walked through the wall of the maze, then came out a moment later with someone in tow.  "Was he dressed like this one?"

"Dark blue but the same ninja-like outfit only with a long bow."

"Ah."  He let the man go, lifting his hood off him.  "You are of the same clan?"  He nodded, moaning in pain.  "Why did you attack these ones?"

"To make our people the ones on top."

Xander punched him.  "That's why we hold the maze, so it's a fair contest. That's why my single one got turned up."  The man looked horrified.  "There's no way your people could beat me anyway.  Now, be a good little boy and plead for your life. You tried to take out my mentor."  He pulled a gun and the guy wet himself.  "Beg and plead."

"Please, I am sorry, my master said I was to do this.  We have done it for the last fifteen years."

"And you guys still couldn't beat my scores," Lupin pointed out.  "Xan, put it up."  Xander didn't move.  "Lavelle," he snapped.  Xander slumped and put it away.  "Challenge him to a hand-to-hand."

"Deal," Xander purred.  "Here and now?"  The guy shook his head and pulled out a microphone, talking into it.  Two more of them appeared.  "Which one of you?"  One raised a hand so he looked at Hal.  "I know you have a space ready for fights.  May we use it?"

"Go for it," he agreed.  "I'll have your mentor looked after with Lupin."  He led them into the arena, letting them feel the sand under their feet.  "When one of you wins, the portal will open again."  He left, shaking his head.  That thing was foolish to take on a ninja.  Even a bad one was highly trained against a student.  He heard a shriek and winced but didn't go rushing back.   Ten minutes later the portal opened and Xander walked out, looking calm, cool, and collected.  He nodded at Hal, then looked at Lupin.  "How did you win?"

"Easy, I pummeled him until I killed him.  I'm good at that," Xander said with a small smirk.  He held out a hand.  "Lavelle.  Also known as Xander Harris."

Hal shook it. "You're not naturally part of the life.  Where are you from?"

"Sunnydale."

"Ah."  He blinked a few times then looked at the boy.  "You're the changed one.  The black knight?"  Xander nodded.  "Then we welcome to our side of the life, Lavelle.  May your days be interesting and less stressful than this maze was for you."  He let the boy go.  "Honori, there are many who need to talk to you in Athens."

"I heard when Dawn called.  I'll deal with the ones who want me dead later."  Hal looked stunned.  "One of them tried to take one of Dawn Summer's nephews hostage so she'd kill me for them.  Won't work, but Thraxton tried really hard before she got rid of him for it."

"Ah.  I had wondered what happened to him.  I will pass that back.  Welcome to the family, Honori."

"I'm still holding my mutual aid pact," Xander assured him.  Hal laughed.  "Seriously.  Lupin's got the skills I'm learning."  He grinned. "But he is really good in bed."  Lupin growled at him.  "You are."  He grinned at Hal again.  "I need, like, six more of him around though."

Hal shook his head.  "That would probably destroy the world, Honori.  Come see me when this is all done with, in a few months, we will work everything out."

"Sure, Hal.  Thanks for the help earlier."  He walked over to where Jigen was getting fixed by Marcus.  "Is he okay?"

"Just fine," Marcus agreed, ending the short burst of healing.  "The hole is mostly gone but some of it's still remaining."

"I can't feel it the same way, it'll be fine," Jigen said as he sat up.  "Xan, the assassin?"

"Dead."  He shrugged.  "I let my temper come out and then get relieved.  He's a mess."  He took Jigen's arm and led him out to the car.  "How about we call masseuses up?  That was one nasty bit of plant fighting this time."

"I wouldn't say no to a good massage," Jigen admitted.  "After that I can use some pampering."  He glanced back at Lupin, who was asking Hal about what was going on.  "You've just turned him into a hyper kitten of curiosity."

"That's okay, I'll give him answers when and if he interrogates me," Xander said smugly.

"Remember, we need you both awake and able to go through it together tomorrow," Marcus said, frowning at him.  "You wear him out horribly, Xander."

"I haven't done that since I went to the whorehouse, Marc. Geez.  Should I bring you the next time I go to wear things out?"  Marcus blushed.  "Then leave off my sex life.  Just because I'm active enough to need two or three lovers a night doesn't mean I can't restrain myself sometimes."  The people waiting for their tun in the maze looked at him and he grinned.  "I'm gifted that way," he said smugly, continuing to let Jigen lean on him.  "Come on, we'll get that nasty injury looked at and then I'll get someone to come up and spoil you rotten for going through with me again."

Jigen looked at him.  "You need something to fuss over," he noted.

"It'd be nice," Xander admitted, "but I can hold off."  He nodded at Marcus to get the door, then paused and walked backwards, letting Marcus close and lock it.  "Hey, who ordered the cops outside?" he called.  There was a massive crackling noise and they opened the door again, walking past the crispy piles of ashes.  "Good job.  I want that toy."

"You don't get that weapon," Jigen said firmly. "You don't need a new one.  You and Marc are like little kids each time you get a new weapon.  Even Goemon rolls his eyes at you."

"Goemon does that at me a lot," Xander reminded him patiently.  "He thinks I'm too playful for my own good.  At least until I do things like earlier."

"Earlier?" Goemon asked from behind him.

Xander looked at him.  "Stupid ninjas decided to cheat for their side by sending people into the maze to kill the other participants.  I let out my displeasure on one of them in a physical manner."

"In other words, he beat one to a pulp," Lupin said as he joined them. "In you get, Goemon.  You can sit between the boys so Xander has to leave Marcus alone.  Xander, you may not have the laser gun.  I'd hate to see you with it and it's incredibly heavy.  Marcus, can you try to heal him a bit more later?"

"Of course," he agreed happily.  "Come sit, Master."

"I'll keep my hands to myself," Xander offered nicely with a bright grin.

"I can cut them off.  Do not pinch me, Xander."  He sat between the boys, looking at Xander.  "Why are you this hyper?"

"He's used to taking care of everything and then doing the job," Jigen reminded him.

"Hmm.  We must make him slow down after this then."

"He just asked someone to clone me so he had five or six of me," Lupin shared.

"Only if the world wants to end," Goemon said, staring Xander down.  "That many Lupins and someone would have to die."

"Nothing would ever be safe," Jigen agreed.

"It is now?" Xander and Lupin asked.

Xander stuck his tongue out at him.  "Just for that, I won't tell you where I'm going tonight until I get back."

"We're going to dinner, then you're going to bed by yourself," Lupin told him.  "That way we're both ready for the maze tomorrow."  Xander gave him a horrified look.  "I mean it, Xander.  No sex tonight."

"I wasn't going to, well maybe a bit with one of Paris' prettier street girls, but nothing more than that.  Nothing like a marathon session like in Cleveland."

"Good," Goemon and Jigen agreed.

"Teach him to control that, Goemon?  Please?"

"I'll try," he sighed.  "Starting after the maze.  Where were you going tonight?"

"There's a whole building full of pretty things just screaming at me to release them from their capture and make them part of my collection," Xander said pitifully.  "I was gonna do that for them.  I hate hearing jewels scream for release from the bad meanies."

Goemon smirked at him.  "That innocent little boy act must get you many places, with us it does nothing.  We did see you make your first kills."

"Yeah, but I'm still a good boy," Xander insisted.  "Eighty percent of the time."

"Fine," Lupin agreed, pulling over and letting him out.  "I'll get Jigen his massage.  I want you back by midnight, no later."

"Sure, boss.  I was gonna go in during the dinner thing tonight."  He waved and jogged off to do some minor shopping first.  Then he gathered his invitation and new cards off Murami and escorted her to the dinner, chatting pleasantly with her the whole time.  Halfway through dinner he excused himself and went to break into the safe quickly, coming back without it showing on his body and without the alarms going off until a good thirty minutes later.  He smiled at his friend, then patted the back of her hand.  "I should take you out dancing tonight, you look very nice," he promised her.

"You could, but I have to be at the office at nine tomorrow.  Some other night?"

"Hey, anytime.  Just ask me."  He kissed the back of her hand and patted it, going back to dinner.  She laughed and ate another bite.  Someone came in to scan them but Xander was apparently fully shielded since nothing on him set off the scanner, just like he had planned.  The guard moved on and then had a talk with their host.

"I'm sorry to cut dinner short tonight but we've had a small attempt at a break-in and I'd rather you all be safe than have to face down such horrible people.  Perhaps another time?"  The other diners nodded and left, chatting and talking to each other on the way out, Xander and Murami with them.  Once in the cab, Xander smiled at the driver and handed over fifty Francs.  "She's on the Champs, and I'm in the Radisson."  Once at her apartment he walked her up to her room and handed over a very pretty green diamond, then kissed the back of her hand again and trotted back to the cab.  He took it back to the hotel and headed up the stairs, stopping to get the messages at the desk and Lupin from the bar.  In the elevator he pulled out a bag and handed it over.  "I gave Murami a green one for agreeing to let me escort her tonight."

"Wonderful."  He looked inside, then at Xander.  "Wow."

"Thanks."  They walked into the room, interrupting Marcus throwing a fit.  "What happened this time?  Did you lose your half?"

"No.  Just blowing off some steam," he said, flipping back his bangs.  "Is that the rest?"

"Minus a green diamond I gave Murami for being such a charming escort.  She even knew about it beforehand.  I invited her to go out dancing with me but she said she had to get up early."  He sat down to write out an email to her, a funny, cute, thank you note for the wonderful night and he hoped they could do it again, without the theft in the center, soon.  Then he got up and grabbed six of the stones laid out on the clean sheet, tucking them into his pocket.  "Those are for my collection.  The rest are good.  I said I'd share."

Lupin looked at them, then split off their twenty percent and divided the rest up equally, including the ones in Xander's pocket.  "You need more lessons in gem evaluation."

"Why?  I'm collecting the pretty ones," Xander said, looking confused.  "I'm not going for value, I'm going for pretty or not pretty in my personal collection."

"That makes sense then," Jigen agreed, looking at the pile.  "Marcus' is bigger."

"Xander got seven that he liked."

"Six.  Unless we're counting the one I gave to Murami?"  Lupin nodded.  "That's fine then, what can we do about these tonight?"

"Tomorrow," Lupin said calmly. "After the maze.  Tuck your shares away, boys.  We'll deal with it on the way home."  He looked at Jigen once the boys went to their room, then shook his head sadly.  "Still hyper."

"Goemon said he'd work on that with him."

"Good."  Lupin examined the stones he had picked, smiling at the niceness of them.  "We can split this up three ways.  That way Goemon can give Fujiko something special for giving him a son."

"You mean besides a daughter soon?" Jigen taunted, smirking at Goemon.  Goemon grunted and shook his head, flipping onto his side to sleep.  "Poor guy, she must be wearing him out."

"Probably," Lupin agreed.  He put their cuts into individual bags, handing Jigen his and putting Goemon's inside his kimono for him.  Goemon slapped at him. "Giving you your cut."

"Later, Lupin. I am not your toy."

"Fine, I won't pay you then," Lupin said, smirking down at him.  "It's not like you can't use them as a present for a deserving wife."  Goemon looked at the baggie, then at him.  Then he looked at the door.  "Xander, come tell Goemon about this one."

Xander peeked his head around the door.  "It was a dinnertime rush job," he said with a shrug.  He ducked back into his room and Marcus came jogging out.  "Fine, be that way then."

"I believe I will."  Marcus smoothed his hair down.  "Xander's in an odd mood," he said.  "I'd suggest we find him a girl but the last I heard he was having to pay extra for how he wears them out."

"He has to pay extra?" Lupin asked, looking stunned. "Not even I have to do that!"

"Yup," Xander called.  He came out, dressed again.  "I'm going down to the dance club.  I'll be back by midnight."  He grabbed a key card and headed down there, going to have meaningless sex in the bathroom.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "Was I that bad, ever?"

Jigen considered it.  "No.  You slept with a lot of women but I don't think you paid most of them."

"He hasn't had much chance to seduce anyone on the job," Goemon pointed out.  "We should give him some."

"There was that woman in the paper who offered her whole family fortune if anyone could make her have an orgasm," Marcus said primly.

Jigen blinked a few times.  "Where did you get that?"

"The London Times yesterday morning.  It says she's in perfect health but her husband was always a horrible lover and she wanted just one before she died.  She's in her eighties.  Still rather pretty from her picture."

"I'll launch Xander at her later," Lupin agreed.  Maybe that would take him a few days. "Put the clipping on his bed, Marcus."  Marcus nodded, going to do that off the online version.  His email beeped so he answered it, smiling at the one from Murami.  He clicked on it, reading her speech about how she was going to have to be very careful around 'the flirt' because he was enough to make a woman want to consider dating for real.  "Hmm.  Maybe we should point him at a few women like that," Lupin said.  "Murami had a great time.  Calls Xander a big flirt.  Said he's a great dinner companion and the next time he needs her for something like that, give her a few hour's notice."  He answered back, then sent her some flowers.  "She's a great woman."

"She is," Goemon agreed. "Are we sure this isn't some spell around Xander to attract women to him."

"Again?" Marcus called.

"Again?" Jigen and Goemon called in unison.

Marcus came out to lounge in his doorway.  "During high school there was a botched love spell.  He had wanted to get his girlfriend back since she dumped him on Valentine's Day so he could dump her.  Instead it got everyone but her and they were so hot for him they were going to kill him and each other since only they could have him.  Even Willow.  He had a witch named Amy cast it."

"Wow," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "I'd have taken advantage of that."

"Xander didn't," Marcus told him.  "He showed some honor in that.   No matter how many times Buffy or anyone else teased him, he didn't take advantage of any of them.  Not even when Willow asked him to take her virginity, even though she was dating Oz at the time."

"Hell, the boy has some honor then," Jigen said, shrugging.  "Better than I could do. What's he oozing now?"

"Confidence and charm," Marcus said dryly.  "All an act of course, but definitely fun."  The room's phone rang and he answered it.  "Yes?"  He listened to the manager telling him that Xander had rented a second room for the night, but that he would still be back.  "Thank you, I expected as much."  He hung up and looked at Lupin.  "Xander's having an orgy downstairs in one of the single rooms.  He said he'd be back later."  He went back to his room to finish polishing his sword.

Jigen burst out laughing, holding his side.  "Oh, damn, our boy's bad."

"I never got to do that," Lupin pouted. "I always tried to keep it one-on-one, except for some twins and two groups of triplets."  He looked at Goemon.  "I think he needs some help.  He's obviously got a problem."

"Yes, his body is used to having two willing love slaves to temper and hold his sexual prowess," Goemon reminded him.  "He probably got it multiple times a day from each of them."  Jigen shuddered.

"In other words, the boy's cock is like an elevator in a busy building and eventually it'll have to take a holiday and slow down," Lupin filled in.

"After some time without enough his drives should slow down or drive him insane.  Whichever it decides or both."  Goemon closed his eyes.  "What should I get the woman?"

"A necklace or a ring," Lupin suggested.  "Something that makes her feel pretty.   Go for something mushy, yet not sweet.  Something that says you love her in spite of her gaining weight and being pregnant."

"I love it when she's like this," Goemon admitted quietly.  "She seems more womanly right now.  It is quite arousing."

"I'm sure it is," Jigen agreed.  In the vision he had taken Xander nearly constantly when she wasn't sick with the twins.  "Try for something non-sexual but pretty.  Necklace definitely since a bracelet might not fit if she's bloated."

"Hmm.  I'll have to think about that," Goemon agreed.

"Goemon, we've got to talk about the other one," Lupin said, sitting across from him.  Goemon opened his eyes to look at him. "She's got to be a witch.  It's got to happen.  The light doesn't have anyone to balance out the bad guys."

"How would they do that?"

"In the vision, they had to taint the baby to save her and her mother after Collins got her.  She was the bait to fix him."

"I see."  Goemon sat up, looking at him.  "This time we'd have to taint her as well then."  Lupin nodded.  "How?"

"I have no idea, but we're bringing this to you now so you can't get upset with them later."

Marcus came out and looked down at Goemon.  "The easiest way would be to bless her around the same stage.  She was at the end of her first trimester from the notes Xander made.  Doing so this time would also help but we'd need to make sure it was a girl or we'd have to do it again."

Goemon groaned.  "Even one day may change things."

"Yeah, and we can't be sure when she got pregnant again," Jigen pointed out.  "So, we'll have to do something."

"That needle test, can it be done earlier?" Goemon asked.  Lupin shook his head.  "Then how do we do it?"

"Then we may have a son in between the daughter and son," Marcus pointed out. "A magically active one who will be one hell of a warrior, a miniature Xander with control."  Goemon cracked a smile at that image.  "We don't know yet, Master."

"I will think on it," he agreed.  "We will do what we must."  He laid down again.  "I would not kill you for doing that now that I know why."

"Let's face it, the world's been without a balancing witch since Rosenburg went bad," Marcus pointed out.  "There are many flavors of power and we'll find her one that suits you as well as her."

"Thank you.  Go sharpen your sword, it was dulled earlier."

"Yes, Master."  He went back to taking care of his primary weapon.

"For some reason, Marcus reminds me of a beagle puppy," Jigen noted.  Lupin and Goemon both snickered at that.  "He does."  He shrugged and went to his own room to lie down with a sigh of relief.  His side hurt.

Lupin looked down at Goemon.  "We'll do whatever we have to do to protect the kids, Goemon."

"Thank you.  Go away.  She wore me out again."

"Sure, have a nice nap."  Lupin went to his room to play with his new diamonds.  They were small but quality pieces.  Very nice choices from Xander.

***

Six days later, Xander knocked on the door, looking at the butler. "I was invited?" he suggested, slipping inside and handing off his jacket.  "My name is Lavelle."  The man gaped at him.  "She invited me personally."

"She's in the study," he said, leading the way.  He tapped on the door before opening it.  "Madam, Lavelle is here."

"Thank you, George."  She stood up and smiled as Xander walked into the room, kissing her hand.  "You are charming."

"And quite good, m'lady.  Sit, please.  I'd rather not have you discomfited while we speak."  He helped her sit on the couch, sitting across from her.  "I understand that you needed a special service from me?"

"I've heard that you're quite good at the art of sex."

"I am," he agreed with a small smile.  "I specialize in making my partners so happy they pass out."

"Very good.  I have not been able to find anyone who could give me what I've wanted for so long.  I wish you to try, young man."

"I can do that.  I should ask first, any heart conditions or anything?  I don't want to hurt you."

She shook her head.  "Not that I'm aware of.  Would that make a difference?"

"I hear some people with heart conditions can have a bit of a harder time with such things, but I mostly didn't want to have you die on me in the middle.  Such a rush of activity should raise your heart rate."

"Very well then.  Where would you prefer to work?"

"Wherever you're most comfortable, m'lady.  This is for your pleasure and however you want it should be good enough."

"Then let me bathe, young man."  She stood up and he stood up to take her arm, walking her up there.  "Are you going to help?"  He nodded. "Really?"

"It's all part of what a good lover should do for his woman.  He should pamper her before, during, and after such events.  Just hitting it and forgetting it is for slimebags.  I try very hard to be a gentleman about such things.  The same as I would never tell anyone I knew what I had done to give you the orgasm you so clearly deserve."  She blushed a bit as he stripped her down slowly.  "Relax, I'm not here to hurt you, only to please you beyond what you've ever had before."

"I've had some that were nearly there," she admitted.  "Close but not close enough.  I want one of those that you read about."

"Some women don't have those.  They have smaller, gentler ones, like a sigh of relief after finishing off your sundae."  She laughed at that.  He ran the bath water, adding some bubbles.  Then he helped her into the not-too-warm water and went to work sponging her body.  By the time he was done, she was quite ready for him.  He got her out and toweled off, then onto the bed so he could go to work.  He used the utmost delicacy and precision to send her crashing over into her first one.  Then he followed it up with a more wild ride, letting her have a second and a third one.  On the fourth one, her voice screamed out in relief and she went limp.  He patted her cheek, trying to rouse her.  He checked her pulse.  He checked her breathing.  He didn't need to do CPR yet.  He got a warm cloth and bathed her again, then tucked her in, taking care of himself in the bathroom while she napped.  He was sitting beside her when she woke up and gave her a smile.  "How was that?"

"Can you do it again?" she pleaded.

"Not today.  You need to rest between times, dear."  He patted her on the hand.  "I don't want to harm you or have you die under me."  She blushed a bright pink and rang for a maid.  "You should have some hearty food and some juice.  Your body went through a lot of energy."

The maid showed up and curtseyed.  "Yes, ma'am?"

"Bring me the papers, Celeste, and some dinner for us.  Some juice as well."  She nodded, leaving them to do that.  "The papers are what I promised."

"That's fine," he agreed, smiling down at her.  "Won't your children be upset?"

"No, dear.  I never had children.  I have a nephew and he's horrified, but then again he's very stiff.  Like his uncle was, he's a proper man who has no idea what pleasure is for."  She squeezed his hand. "Please don't harm the boy."

"I'd never do that.  Though I would encourage him to make a fruitful match.  I have a friend who has a sister who lives up the road.  The Wyndam-Pryce family is quite old."

"I've heard of them.  What did happen to that young man Wesley?"

"He tortured someone and they got him back for it from what I understand.  I work with Wesley's son, who is a warrior in training, and his sister is one who went the way of most of their family's people."  He got up to answer the door at the timid knock, letting the maid in to set up things for them.  "Thank you, Celeste.  I can feed her," he said with a grin and a wink for her.  She blushed and left.  He curled up beside Barbara, feeding her delicate bites of dinner.  "A real lover takes pleasure from his lover's pleasures, even the most small ones."  She moaned as he fed her, then he kissed her.  "I think you're fairly neat, Barb."

She smiled.  "Thank you, Lavelle.  Read the papers?"  He took them to read while she fed herself for a bit.  He looked at her.  "The marriage is not mandatory," she offered.  "I normally would but you'd probably kill me soon."

He laughed.  "I had to check earlier, you passed out quite suddenly and you worried me sick."  He fed her another bite, then helped her sip her juice.  "There, that's enough.  The rest can wait."  He dove in to help her some more, making her squeal like a teenage girl in front of their favorite pop idol.  You'd have thought he was doing magic but he wasn't.

Someone stormed into the room.  "Not done yet?"

Xander looked back at him.  "No, I decided she needed many of them to compare all the different levels.  The first four weren't enough for me," he said smartly.  "You know, I know a girl who'd love you for being so stuffy."  The younger man blustered.  "I'll introduce you later."  He went back to pleasing his lover, making her sigh and squeal and wiggle under him until he did it just right again then she went off with a loud squeal of pleasure and stopped.  "Shit."  He checked her pulse, then got to work on her.  "Call the paramedics," he ordered.

"You killed her?"

"Her heart stopped. Call the fucking paramedics!"  The young guy did so, stammering out what was going on.  Xander continued to work.  "So, Steven," he panted as he worked, "you going to be a problem?"

"No," he said grimly.  "She wrote me out of the will a great many years ago for the sin of liking a girl that was unworthy of me."

"Let me introduce you to Amanda.  She might like you anyway."  The paramedics rushed in.  "She got off and her heart stopped.  It was her fifth one today.  The first this round."  He got out of the way, letting them work.  The nephew helped him up.  "I'm sorry, I asked earlier about heart conditions just in case.  I did not want this to happen."  The younger man blushed and nodded, looking down.  "She went out in a burst of pleasure, Steven.  It didn't hurt her."  He checked himself over, then gave the boy a pat on the back.  "Let me call Amanda.  Have her come sit with you tonight."

"Fine," he said weakly.  Xander picked up the phone and had to verify who he was twice before she believed him.  Eventually the young woman showed up.  "Hello," he said quietly, smiling at her.  "Lavelle said you'd spend some time so I wouldn't have to be here alone.  Would you like some dinner?  I'm not going to touch you, I only need to hear voices other than my own."

"That's not a problem," she assured him.  She stopped to look at Lavelle, then grimaced.  "You are him.  I saw your picture on the way over."  He nodded, patting her on the back.  "Give this to my brother," she ordered, handing over a key.  "Father's."  She walked on.  "What happened, Gregory?"

"Steven," he corrected.  "I prefer my middle name."

She smiled.  "That's fine then, Steven.  What happened?"

"You know about my aunt and her wishes to have one moment of pleasure?  Well, he gave her five of them and the last one stopped her heart."

"I'm sorry."  She hugged him gently.  "Come, let's clean up her room.  Make sure things are in order."  She found the bundle of papers, reading it over.  "Well."  She looked up.  "He's the new Lord?"  Steven nodded.  "Is he kicking you out?"

"I don't usually live here.  I live in Highleigh.  It's my mother's."

"Really?"  She smiled at him.  "I pass that on my way to work each morning. I'll escort you back.  Should you call her?"

"I probably should, but she probably already knows.  She has this fantastic network of people.  She's the one who suggested Lavelle."

"He is quite good from what I hear but fairly overwhelming to be with.  I've heard him compared to an incubus before actually."  She shrugged. "I know he's human."  She rang for the maid. "Is Lavelle still here?"  She nodded.  "Hand him these, he'll need them."  She handed over the papers.  "Then tell him to go find a room in town."  The maid nodded and left.  "I hope he'll keep them."

"I'm sure he will.  He won't be here most of the time but they're part of the house.  It's in the will," he admitted with a smile.  "My aunt said so."

"Very good of her to do.  Most people don't consider the help when things like this happen."  She stripped off the sheets with his help and remade the bed with clean linen. Then she escorted him around the house to make sure things were in order.

***

Xander accepted the lawyer's papers and nodded, shaking his hand. "I'll be back soon.  Arrange with the person at the number I gave you to have their salaries paid.  They can gladly stay," he agreed.  "I'm traveling most of the year so I won't be in attendance for most of it."

"Yes, I'd suppose your profession would preclude you staying at one house for very long," he said dryly.  "We could fix that if you retired."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked with a grin.  "Speaking of fun, I'd better leave before someone gets snooty.  I'll be in and out.  Tell them I might redecorate some of the suites to suit myself but nothing *too* drastic.  I usually have very good taste."  He waved and ran down to his car, getting in and driving away before the sirens he could hear got closer.  "Poor Gramps," he sighed as he shifted upwards.  He stopped at one point to pick up the cat beside the road, wincing as it tried to get into his shirt to get away from the thing chasing it.  "Naughty, you," he chastised.  The wolf slunk off.  "Come on, kitten.  Yes, the Xander will take good care of you unless you have a human already."  He heard crying and looked at the child running across the fields.  "Is the cat yours?"  She stopped and shook her head.  "Then I'm going to take it home."

"Thank you.  I don't know why my doggie does those things but it's bad and I want him stop."

"You need to talk to Amanda Wyndam-Pryce.  She can fix him."

"Thank you, Mister.  Is she a vet?"

"No, she's a healer of animals."  He grinned.  "You behave. Any others?"

"She has kittens."  She ran away and came back a few minutes later with a basket.  "Here, for her."

"Thank you."  He patted her on the head, feeling the demonic taint in her.  He looked down at her. "Maybe you shouldn't let your dog feed off your blood anymore, okay?"  She looked stunned and he grinned. "I'm a consort, child, and if the dog becomes a danger to regular people then something bad could have to happen."  She nodded and ran off.  He got into the car with the basket and the three kittens.  "There we are.  Lupin will *adore* you," he promised, patting her gently as he took off again.   He went to the nearest train station and got on the one to take him to the Chunnel with his car.  It was a much nicer trip.

***

Lupin looked up as Xander walked into his office with a copy of his paperwork.  "So, Lord Lavelle," he teased with a bright grin.  "Feel better?"

"Much."  He gave him a kiss.  "I stopped a baby demon from infecting her wolf puppy too."  He gave him a second kiss.  "Where's Marc?  His sister gave me something for him."

"Out back, as usual."  Lupin gave him a pinch.  "Hurry up.  I'm bored."

"Oh, I've got a cure for your boredom," Xander promised with a smirk.  He jogged outside, pulling out the key.  "From Amanda.  She said it belonged to your father."

Marcus looked at it, then tucked it into his pants pocket. "Thank you.  Did you get the dreadful shrew set up with anyone?"

"My lover's nephew.  He lives near her, understands her stuffy nature, and she can kill his mother, the succubus."  Marcus smirked.  "So it'll give her job security."  He shrugged.  "It's making her happy."

Jigen came to the doorway with the kitten in hand.  "Xander, why are there three cats in the house in a laundry basket?"

"We have cats?" Xander asked.  "Wow!"  He rushed over to stroke the kitten.  "Hello, precious one.  Did you sneak in to be loved by the big, bad thieves?" he cooed. "You are such brilliant kitties, yes you are."

"No cats, Xander."

"I didn't carry them in," Xander defended.  He looked over as Lupin came out to see what was going on now.  "Look at what snuck in," he said happily, holding up his darling one.  "Isn't she just so precious and cute!"

"No cats, Xander," Lupin said firmly.

"You said I couldn't bring a cat home.  I didn't.  She snuck in, she must want to love us."  She purred in his arms.  "Yes, you are adorable," he cooed, walking her back to the living room where Jigen had been resting.  He hadn't put the basket in there but then again, strange things did happen around them.  "Ooh, look, there's a fourth one."  He reached down to stroke it, earning a short hiss from the mother.  "I'm being good.  I'm returning this one."  He settled the kitten back into the basket, petting the mother gently. "You got any more coming, mama?"

Lupin and Jigen backed away from the door, looking at each other.  "I know he brought them inside," Jigen protested.

"Unless you can prove it, we have cats," Lupin pointed out.  "That was what I told him. He couldn't bring a pet into this house.  I never said anything about a pet that was already in here."

Goemon came down the stairs, giving them a long look.  "What has Xander done now?"

"We had some cats sneak in to use a laundry basket with one of Xander's shirts in it," Jigen told him dryly.  "We now have a momma cat and a few kittens."

"Ah." Goemon looked in the living room, seeing the happy look on the boy's face.  "He's not bouncing and it will be good for him.  The first time it's not taken care of well enough, we will give them to someone who will care for them better."  He walked away, going to make his wife something sickening because she was hungry again.  He seemed to do a lot of that these days.  Hopefully this stage would end soon as well.  He came back and found his own apprentice playing with the older kittens.  "Do not become too attached.  We do travel most of the year."

"That's right, you could send them to your new house," Lupin agreed, silently thanking Goemon for sticking up for them.  Xander gave them a stubborn look.  "It's not fair to leave them alone most of the time, Xander.  You can give them to Dawn."

"They adopted my shirt, they obviously want me," he said firmly.  "If they had wanted to go live with Dawn, they would have snuck into her house and adopted her clothes."  He went back to petting the babies.  "You guys are so tiny!  Now all you need are names."

"No!" Lupin shouted as he headed for an aspirin.  "No naming the four-footed thieves, Xander."

"How else are they supposed to know when you want them and when to come play with you?" Xander called back.

Lupin came back after taking something for the headache he knew he'd have soon and looked at the young men.  "We may keep *one* cat after they're weaned.  No more.  One. Got it?"  Xander pouted at him.  "The others can go live with Dawn and her new sons.  You can even sneak them into Zenigata's house so he can give them to her.  We will not keep more than one of them and if you pout at me I'll make you give them all to him," he warned quickly when he saw the pout starting.

"But Ishi will need a pet," he said sadly.  "It's a great teacher on how to love something.  I never had pets, Lupin."

Lupin felt his heart stretch, then snap, but he forced it back into shape.  "Now you can have *one* cat and you're going to take care of it, Xander.  The housekeeper will not clean the litter box.  The housekeeper will not feed it.  You will take it to the vet's, get it fixed, get it all its shots.  You will do everything for *your* pet and share it with Ishi when he's old enough.  One, no more."

"Yes, sir," Xander said miserably.  "The mommy might miss it though."

"The mommy won't miss it," Marcus assured him.  "They send them away anyway."  He patted him on the back.  "Maybe we should keep the one that's pure black?"

Xander looked at them and one of them meowed.  "See, that one thinks like us.  He's begging for attention."  He stroked that one.  "You guys will love Dawnie's house.  I promise you guys you will."  He pouted at Jigen.

"Do it again, have none of them."  The pout cleared up.  "Thank you."  He went to make himself a strong drink.  "Please let Fujiko be allergic," he prayed.  Cats hated him.  He found her in the kitchen watching Goemon make her a snack.  "You're allergic to cats, right?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No.  Why?  Do we have a cat?"  Jigen sighed and nodded.  "Good."  She beamed.  "I've always wanted a pet.  I never had one."

Goemon looked at her.  "All my family's were useful pets."  He handed over the sandwich and a glass of milk, which she frowned at.  "The doctor said you needed more milk or your bones and teeth would become weak.  Drink it, wife."

"Yes, dear," she said dryly, gulping down the milk.  Then she started in on her sandwich. "How did we get cats?" she asked between bites.

"Apparently some snuck into the house," Jigen said bitterly.

"Snuck in, really?" she asked.  "I guess that's what I heard crawling around in the attic last night."  She shrugged.  "Okay by me.  Are they cute?"

"I guess.  I'm not an expert on cats.  Xander wants the gray one that's youngest.  Marcus seems to want the all black one."  He took the cup of coffee Goemon poured him.  "I guess there's some sort of rule about those who use magic needing to get along with fussy creatures like cats."

"Maybe one'll go to Ethan then," Fujiko suggested.

Xander strolled in with the basket and Jigen shuddered, leaving the kitchen.  "See what snuck in?" he said happily.

She leaned closer to his cheek, kissing him and whispering in his ear.  "I heard you," she told him.  He kissed her on the forehead.  "Which one is ours?"

"Marcus wants the little dark one.  I want the baby of the group."

"That's because we'll keep the whole group longer and you're hoping he'll relent," Goemon pointed out.  "If they had to leave tomorrow, which would you choose?"

Xander looked in the basket and the black cat gave him a disdainful look.  The other one, the pure, darker black one that seemed to blend into the shirt most of the time gave him an adoring look.  "Her."  He patted her on the head.  "She loves me."

"Then we'll keep that one," Fujiko agreed, letting that one sniff her fingers.  The mother growled so she sneered at her. "I'm one too.  I'm not touching them, just letting the baby's new pet sniff me."  She stroked the mother's head.  "You'll make a fine watch bitch for Dawn's kids."

The cat they had chosen purred at them and the others kicked her out of the basket.  She would get along just fine in this house of misfits.  She graciously allowed them to pet her for a while before she went in hunt of the other humans.  She would have to enslave them all to be allowed to stay. It would be hard work but she could do this.  The other young kitten was easily amused and loved her because of her color.  The one behind the desk relented when she jumped into his lap then onto his desk and purred at him from on top of whatever boring things he had been working on.  He even relented enough to stroke her head.  She headbutted him for more then licked his fingers, liking this one a lot.  He was good at grooming her.  Then she hopped down to check on the last one, the funny cub in the hat.  Humans were odd creatures, but she could learn to like him.  He was sitting up doing a thing with a book and a pencil so she curled up in his lap and decided this was a good place for a nap for a few minutes.  Surely he wouldn't mind.

Jigen looked down at the cat in his lap.  "You actually like me?"  It snored and he groaned, shaking his head.  "Fine, you can stay, hell spawn."  He did pet her a bit, filling in another word on his puzzle.  She was good at inspiring him to find the right word.

Of course, when she followed them to dinner, she became Xander's cat again and he got to make her a nest in a nearby chair.

Yard Sale

Inspector Zenigata, butt of the ICPO's jokes, woke up to an odd feeling. Something was on his chest.  He opened his eyes, seeing two green orbs staring at him. "Are you one of those demons Dawn told me about?" he asked.  The orbs blinked then the weight shifted as the thing sat down.  He carefully reached for a lamp and turned it on, blinding himself and the cat.  "How did you get in here, kitty?"  He stroked her head for her, making her purr.  "You're very pretty but I'm not the human you need.  I'm never here.  I'm always chasing after that crook."  He heard another meow and looked down beside his bed at the basket that wasn't his and the shirt that wasn't his, but that two other cats were lounging on.  "Okay.  Who gave you to me?"  He stroked her gently, making her quite happy.  "I don't know what the hell to do about you three.  I can't have pets here."  He continued to stroke her head, then sighed.  "I think I know someone who would take very good care of you and let me visit on occasion.  Would you like that?"  The cat he was petting meowed and pulled up a paw to clean.  "Good.  Let's clip those things and then I'll take you over there."  He glanced at the clock.  "She might be up.  Crooks always seem to stay up all night."   He got some nail clippers and did the cats' nails like he would his aunt's, with them wrapped in a shirt so they couldn't attack him for it and giving them gentle stroking afterwards.

After that, he bundled them into the basket and put a towel over them, getting them into his car.  One of them came out to examine things but she didn't try to escape so it was all good with him.  He stopped to get some cat food and cat litter then headed to Dawn's house, with a quick drive through for breakfast.  Americans always ate fast food, right?  The cat was in his lap by then and meowed at the voice on the speaker.  When he pulled around the girl at the window smiled at him and waved at the cat, handing over an extra piece of ham with a wink.  He finished his drive, letting the cat nap on him.   When he got to Dawn's, he bundled her back into the basket and put the ham slice in there, then carried it and the breakfast up to the door.  He rang the bell then had to catch an escapee before it could get away and hide in the car again.  Dawn came out and looked at him.  "Sorry, they were left at my place and I thought the boys might like them," he admitted, holding up the one he had caught, his new friend.

She laughed.  "I'm sure."  She carried in the basket, letting him get everything else.  That cat seemed more than happy enough to ride in his pocket for now while he grabbed the food and litter.  Then breakfast.  She sat down on the floor to look at the cats, recognizing the shirt immediately.  She had bought it for the idiot.  She stroked them all.  "Hi, guys.  Do you guys like kids?"  She looked up as the last one was deposited as well, petting her.  "Hi. You're adorable."  The cat perked its ears toward her.  "The boys'll love you and it'll teach them how to handle things very gently."

"Auntie?" Jerry called.  "Who comed?"

"It's me, Jerry," Zenigata called.  "Come see what snuck into my house."  She grinned up at him.  "I know, but I don't know who helped them sneak into my house."

"Lupin probably.  That's Lavelle's shirt."  She hugged the boy when he came down.  "Let them sniff you and be very gentle with it."  Jerry reached out, letting them sniff him.  The one who liked Zenigata allowed him to pet her.  "See, kitties are very nice."

Jerry beamed and patted the other two gently.  "Pretty, pretty kitties.  I have a book with kitties in it.  We should read it."

"We should," Zenigata agreed. "Go get it and wake up your brother."  He ran up the stairs as fast as his little legs would carry him.  "I know it's an imposition."

"No, it's good for them and me.  I need something to make me want to not travel for a bit."  She leaned against his legs when he sat down.   That cat hopped into his lap.  "I think she wants read to too."

"I think she wants to come home with me, but I can't have cats and I'm never home."

"You move in," Jerry offered as he came back.  "Then this be her home too and she see you all the time.  Just like me."  He climbed up to sit next to the cat, letting him have the book.  "This one about kitties," he said, petting her gently.  "Please, Uncle Zenny?"

"Sure, Jerry.  I like reading to you."  He opened the book, looking at the first few words.  "Sasha was a very naughty kitty.  She liked to play in the yard and dig up the flowers."

Dawn grinned at the other cats.  "You two think you can live here?  If not, I'll call Ethan, see if he needs a cat."  Ethan appeared and picked up the older cat, taking it with him. "Hey!"

"Xander said so," he called back.

Dawn picked up the other one, settling it in her lap to pet it.  "It's okay.  Hey, Morgan, come see what your Uncle Zenny brought," she called when she heard him coming down the stairs.  Her nephew ran in and stared in shock at the animal.

"He can only stay if you're very good to him," Zenigata said firmly.  "You have to be gentle and nice to him, no being mean."

"I'll be good," he promised, kneeling to pet the kitty.  It didn't like him giving it belly scratches but liked the chin scratches instead.  "You good kitty.  We name you Cupcake."

"This one named Lap," Jerry told him, patting his cat.  "Uncle Zenny come live so she live with us too."

The Inspector looked shocked until Dawn shrugged.  "You can have the empty room for your office," she offered.  "I've already got mine set up."  He looked down at her, still having an open mouth.  "You can't disappoint the boys.  They'll cry."

"Dawn, we haven't even dated yet."

"Yes we have.  You chased me all over creation for about a year."  She stroked up his leg.  "I'll even let you have your own room for a bit if you want."

"We need bigger house.  Kitties need their own room and Uncle need his own room," Morgan said firmly.

"Guys, he doesn't need his own room yet," Dawn told them.  Zenigata stared down at her, still looking stunned.  "Or not.  I guess we could sell this one and move to somewhere bigger and safer.  There's a really pretty house I loved to break into on the other side of the city that's up for sale because the owners got scared."

"I wonder why," he said dryly.

"They had pretty impressionist paintings," she defended.  "I went to look a few times, not to steal anything.  Oh, hey, did you hear about Lavelle and his new title?"

"I did," he said dryly.  "Totally without any conscience at all."

"He probably asked if she had a heart condition before hand, I know him well enough to know that."  She stroked up his leg again, making him shiver. "Want to make the kids happy?"

"I'd rather make you...."  He bit back the rest of that sentence, it was mushy.  Much too mushy for a third date and a casual sex relationship.

She beamed.  "I feel the same way.  So you'll be moving in.  If I have to, I'll have someone pack up your place while you're off chasing Lupin next time."  She went back to helping Morgan pet the kitties.

Zenigata cleared his throat, going back to the story.  "Sasha always liked the flowers, she thought they were very nice smelling and she liked to scent herself with them," he read.

"I'm gonna give the woman I marry a kitty instead of a ring some day," Morgan announced.

"That's moving way too fast, son," Zenigata said firmly.  "I'm not ready to settle down yet."  Dawn snickered, patting her nephew on the head.  "You Americans are odd.  I brought fast food for breakfast."

"Thank you, daddy," Jerry said, snuggling into his side for a hug.  "You're very good at this daddy thing.  Much better than ours was."

Morgan looked at him.  "Yes, you are," he said seriously.

"I think so too," Dawn promised, straightening out his hair for him.  "Let's get breakfast served and no feeding the kitties yours.  They can have some kitty food.  Guys, we'll need a plastic box too."

"I can find a litter box," Zenigata offered.

"We'll do that later.  For now, we'll make do and get them spoiling stuff later.  After we look at that other house."  He sighed and nodded, looking like he was defeated in another battle.

"You're not using magic on me, right?" he asked finally.

"I haven't needed to magic anyone into my bed since I was seventeen," she quipped.  "Why would I have to start with you."  She smirked at him and licked a bite of cheese off her lip before taking another bite of her sandwich.  He shivered and firmly went back to the story this time.  "Good boy.  You'll learn to see when I'm using magic.  Just wait until you see me decorate the house."

***

Zenigata walked into his boss' office, saluting him.  "Sir, you wanted to see me?"

"Sit, Inspector."  Zenigata sat, looking quite attentive.  "A note was made that you've been seen around town with a former thief?"

"I checked, sir, she has no warrants out for her arrest.  Plus, she has given up the life to raise her two nephews."

"I see."  He leaned back, looking at his man.  "Are you...attracted to her?"

"Her nephews adore me and she is very persuasive.  Plus, I can get some minor help from her to catch Lupin."  That got a short nod.  "I am not taking advantage of her.  She is making all the moves, sir."

"You're letting her have you, Inspector?"  Zenigata blushed and shook his head.  "I should hope not.  You do have a morality clause in your employment contract with us.  We don't want to have to enforce it but we will."

Now he knew he was in his bed, still dreaming.  The whole thing with the cats earlier was simply a surreal dream brought on by the three-day-old Chinese food that he had for dinner.  His boss was suggesting what?  "Sir, what would negate it?"

"Moving in with the former thief.  If you married her that would be different but simply living with her is not allowable for Interpol's most noticeable inspector, Inspector.  It's simply not done."

"Yes, sir, I understand, sir," he agreed quickly, hoping this dream would end soon.  "As of this moment, she has offered me a space so I can quit paying rent but I would have separate rooms and a separate office.  Her nephews need a strong male influence.  Their own father was garbage who needed to be burned.  Their mother sent them to a daycare that was training them military style.  It took the boys two weeks to smile in her presence and another four days to laugh, sir.  I'm simply helping her out with them since she has now gone straight."

His boss looked thoughtful.  "Those are very good reasons.  Such things are very harmful to young boys from what I understand.  What do you feel about her?"

"I ....  I don't know what you're asking, sir."

"I was asking if this was a serious relationship or something along the lines of friends working together, Inspector."

Zenigata blushed.  "I feel something for her, sir, but I've only known her now for three months."

"Are you compatible?"  He nodded quickly.  "And she is moving you into her house?"  He nodded again.  "Then it appears you have no choice in the matter.  You'll have to marry her for appearances."  Zenigata looked horrified and let out a soft whimper.  Nightmare, definitely a nightmare.  "It's nothing, I assure you, I had to marry my own wife for similar reasons; that and to get some fans of mine off my back.  We ended up being quite close friends.  I'm sure you'll do the same.  I'll give you two weeks off to arrange things and have a small honeymoon."  He signed the papers, shoving it over.  "Here you go.  A Court marriage would be faster probably."

"Sir, I didn't know Interpol could force me to marry."

"Inspector, that clause is a problem only if you're visible.  You're quite visible and probably always will be while Lupin is on the go.  You would be encouraging the younger generation to have meaningless sex and then move on.   That is not the image we want to give the impressionable next generation, especially not her nephews, correct?"  Zenigata shook his head slowly.  "Then it comes down to marrying her or your job.  Which would you prefer?"

Apparently the only way he was escaping this was to agree so he could wake up.  He subtly pinched himself but it didn't work.  "I'll marry her right away, sir.  I'll need a large advance to deal with the issue of a ring."

"She doesn't have one?"

"That's not proper."

"Good point."  He looked him over.  "I believe you've had the last four raise periods pass you by.  I'll arrange something.  Go tell her of your new assignment then report back in two weeks."  Zenigata stood up and saluted him before walking out.  "I'm not worried, he'll get along just as well as I did," the real Commissioner said, looking at his wife's picture.  Then at the picture of his mistress.  "She'll help him through this, all women are trained that way."

***

Zenigata tapped on Dawn's door, smiling down at Jerry as he answered it.  "Is Dawn around?"

"She runned out.  We in kitchen."  He led the way back, letting him pet the cats while he fixed himself some cereal.  "She say she be gone ten minutes and we be fine."

He looked around. "No one's staying with you?"  The boys shook their heads.  "We'll have to fix that.  Maybe a housekeeper or something," he said quietly, thinking out loud again.  He jumped when the door slammed, heading that way.  "You left the boys alone?"

"I put them in the kitchen with some cereal, and told them not to touch anything.  Aren't they okay?  I only went to pick up some more bread."

"They're fine.  We need to talk."

"Okay.  Why?"  He handed over the paper.  She read it a few times, then gave him a confused look. "That's an odd way of proposing."

He grimaced.   He had so hoped this was a nightmare.  "There's a morality clause in my contract.  If I continue to see you without marrying you, I'll be fired."  She blinked a few times.  "I'm leaving it up to you."

"Okay then.  I'll work on buying the new house this week.  Am I buying my own ring?"  He shook his head, frowning at her.  She picked up the nearest phone and dialed a cellphone.  "Did you have something to do with a morality clause?"  She listened to him recount his recent sins.  "Not at all?  Nothing with Zenny except the cats?"  The confused voice on the other end said 'no' quietly.  "That's fine, then there's going to be a wedding.  They told him to either marry me or be fired."  She hung up.  "They'll send tasteful and non-stolen gifts.  Boys, we've got to look at a house," she called.  She smiled as they came out.  "Sorry to have left you guys alone."

"That's okay, kitties hissed each time we moved," Morgan promised.  "We not live here?"

"We're moving somewhere bigger so Zenny can move in.  We'll work on it together, along with the wedding. Okay?"  They nodded, smiling at her. "Go put on real clothes that aren't stained."  They ran up the stairs.  "We'll be back, kittens."  She dialed the realtor she knew.  "Hey, it's Dawn.  I want to look at that one house.  Is it still open?"  She listened to the tale of how someone had bought it.  "Really?"  She grimaced.  "We need to move somewhere bigger immediately.  Got anywhere that nice?"  She smiled.  "That's fine.  Can we look at it now?"  She checked her watch.  "Deal.  Let me get the boys dressed.  I'll meet you at your office."  She hung up and kissed him.  "It'll be fine.  We'll manage it."  She went to change as well, grabbing her bank statements.  She called Murami from her bedroom, letting her know what was going on.  She listened to the available balances then called Lupin again.  "Weren't you going to fence that stuff for me?  We're having to move.  Zenny's boss said if he was going to keep dating me he'd have to marry me because of some morality clause."  She laughed. "Yeah, that's what Xan was babbling about.  No, we're moving somewhere bigger so I could use it so I don't have to touch what I have left.  No, some jewels.  Why?"  She smirked.  "I'll let you see them soon, but you can't be seen.  Got it?"  She hung up on his assertion.  She changed into one of her bodysuits and heels, heading down the stairs to gather up the boys and her future spouse.  Apparently the world liked them together.

***

Lupin came out of his office, looking at Xander in confusion.  "Morality clause?"

"Apparently unbridled shagging isn't allowed when you're in Interpol.  Another very good reason I'm not a cop," Xander said dryly.  "His boss said he had to marry her, break up with her, or be fired."

"Who?" Fujiko asked.

"Pops," Lupin told her.  "He was told he had to marry Dawn or be fired for some stupid morality clause in his contract.  We'll have to look that over."

"We need to look something else over too.  They don't believe in paternity leave," Xander said wisely.  "I'm doubting that won't come up sometime soon."

"True," Lupin agreed, patting him on the arm.  "Okay, we've got to fence Dawn's stuff for her.  I sent David his stuff but Dawn had a room full of crap.  We might as well call Louis up and have him look over everything else."

"I like my collection," Xander defended.

"I'm not asking you to get rid of it, Xan.  Just anything else you haven't done away with," he said patiently.  "That'll make it easier to clean your room."  He headed to take an inventory of what they had that needed sold and to call their favorite fence.   "Louis, it's Lupin.  One of our students asked us to fence some of her stuff for her.  Can you come up to the main hideout?  Yeah, there.  No, we've got crap too that we don't want.  Consider it a yard sale.  No, she's marrying Zenigata.  He was told he had to marry her or be fired."  He grinned.  "Yeah, that.  We're looking for good wedding presents too.  Thanks, that's fine."  He hung up and called Jigen's room so he wouldn't have to walk all the way up there.  "Jigen, Louis is coming up to fence Dawn's stuff.  We're doing a clearance too.  You need anything gone?  Tell Goemon too, okay?"  He hung up, going down to the safes.  He saw some things that hadn't been there but the signs on them made him want to leave them there.  He wasn't going to touch a collar that turned one into a mindless slave to whoever put it on them.

***

Dawn accepted the check from Xander when he sat down across from her in his clever disguise as a delivery guy, letting him see the stones she had.  He picked out nine of them and wrote her a check, then grinned and left to head back to the house.  His collection was growing and quite pretty.  He even remembered to stop at the local comic shop and get his subscriptions refilled and find out when the next few conventions were.  He went down to the Japanese section of town, where most of the recent immigrants and decent shops were, and found someone to make him some kimonos, plus his Inuyasha outfit.  Then he headed for home with his new treasures.  His box holding them was going to need another layer soon.

He walked in the door to silence.  "Guys?" he called.  His cat meowed so he picked her up, closing the door behind himself.  He headed for the kitchen, stopping in the office and dining room.  No one was anywhere.  He headed for their bedrooms.  Nothing.  No note in his either.  He sat down, pulling out his cellphone to call Lupin's.  "Did you decide to abandon me or was this just a short trip?" he asked dryly.  He heard the reason.  "Hey, that's not a problem.  I'll stay here until they send her back.  Why did Jigen go?"  He grinned, trust him to be the sane one who could drive.  "Fine, I'll be here.  You guys be safe."  He hung up and leaned back to pet his kitten.  "Hey, Dancer.  How are you?  Are you happy with us?"  She purred and snuggled up on his stomach to nap with him.  "Sure, we'll nap."  He fell asleep petting the cat, an adorable sight.

Lupin walked into his room a few hours later and grinned at the pretty picture, snapping it with one of his hidden cameras.  "Xander," he called softly.  Xander batted at the noise.  He saw the stones coming out of his pocket and gathered them up, putting them on the dresser.  He snuck a peek at Xander's collection, smiling at them.  They were all quite pretty.

"Quit," Xander said sleepily.

"Sorry, I was putting the new ones beside it and peeked.  They're pretty.  It's a nice collection."  Xander dug in his pocket and came out with two more, all without disturbing the cat.  Lupin put those onto the dresser too.  "How's Dawn?"

"Fine.  Stressed from the move.  She was drinking iced coffee."  He yawned again.  "I renewed my comic subscriptions, got some con information, and am having someone redo my Inuyasha outfit."  He shifted the cat to his side as he rolled onto his other one, letting the cat settle herself again.  "She met me at the door."

"Where's Marcus?"

"Not a clue.  I didn't see anyone but I didn't search the third floor either."  He yawned again. "I'm sleepy."

"You nap, Xan.  I'll look for Marcus for you."  He nodded, closing his eyes.  Lupin covered him as best he could, Dancer liked to be underneath covers sometimes, and left them there to nap.  He put a finger to his lips when he met Jigen in the hallway.  "He and the cat are napping together."

"I'm sure that's cute.  Where's Marcus?  Goemon wanted him for some stress relief."

"Xan said he couldn't find him.  He said he got a few new stones off Dawn for his collection, reupped his comic subscriptions, and has someone making him an outfit from an anime for the next convention."  He headed up to the third floor to look, not finding him in there.  He did find where Marcus had been working magic recently but he hadn't been in there recently and it had been cleaned very well.  He headed back down to the household answering machine.  The housekeeper never answered the phone unless she knew it was them.  He pushed the button, listening to the gurgling voice on the other end demand that they steal to get Marcus back.  "Someone's an idiot," he called.  "They snatched Marcus!"

Goemon came walking down the stairs with the cat.  "Really?  Who?"

"Someone in the British government.  You can't fake that high class accent."  He looked over as Xander and Jigen walked down together.  "You didn't have to wake him."

"The cat kneaded him awake," Jigen told him.  "She wanted to play mouse."  He listened to the message, then nodded.  "Didn't we already steal that once?"

"Didn't we just sell that?" Xander asked, looking confused. "Why didn't Marcus kill them?"

"I don't know."  Lupin called their fence.  "Louis, did you buy an eighteenth century vase with porn on it off us?"  He listened as the fence described it.  "Yeah, that. Someone wanted us to steal that to get our other student back.  No, the other one.  Lavelle's standing here needing to go back to his nap.  Go nap on the couch, Lavelle."  Xander nodded and headed that way, curling up in a spot of sunlight like his cat would.  His cat was still playing with Goemon's hair from his shoulder, known to her as the great, moving kitty strings.  Lupin smirked at Goemon, who was trying to remove his hair from the chewing mouth.  "Put her down if she's bothering you."  He listened to the fence again.  "Yeah, that's fine.  How much?  That's about twice what you paid for it.  Yes, but you make more profit off us because *we* stole it than any one else that you buy for."  He smirked.  "That's fair.  Thanks.  Yeah, we'll pick it up in a few hours."  He hung up.  "The kidnaper will be calling back in a few hours. We'll pick it up on the way.  Let the boy nap.  Goemon, give me the cat."  He snatched her, looking at her.  "Don't nibble his hair, you'll get hairballs.  Kitties are not supposed to eat human hair, it's not good for you."  She put a paw on his nose and pushed.  "Fine."  He handed her off to Jigen.  "Here, play with the cat."  He went into the kitchen to get a snack.  He had missed breakfast by breaking into Xander's sleep to get some.

Jigen handed the cat back.  "Here."  He walked off to watch Xander sleep.  He was still thinking about what he had learned from the vision.  He did miss the little brats of theirs.  It made him feel odd.

Goemon looked at the cat.  "Let's play with the son," he decided.  "You can knead him again."  He walked the cat upstairs, letting the cat snuggle up to Fujiko's pregnant stomach and purr at it.  When the baby kicked her for it, she kneaded him and then laid back down.

"Have I mentioned that our cat is odder than Xander and Marcus combined?" Fujiko asked.  Goemon shook his head.  "Well, she is."

"Our son will come out understanding love in all forms," he said with a touch of smirk.  She threw a pillow at his head.  "Remember, the doctor said not to get too excited."  He laid down beside her, stroking her in his own way until the cat nudged her way under his hand for her own attention.  "Fine, I will pet you too," he said, scratching her ears.  She didn't like the mother-scent on her ears though so she huffed and went to take a bath on their windowsill.  Goemon licked off his fingers so he could go back to pleasing his wife.

***

Marcus looked up as his captor removed his blindfold, then spat at him. "Bastard."

"I am not, I have two parents that I adore quite a lot," the big-nosed man said dryly.  "Or at least I did while they lived.  You?"

"No, I hated my father and my mother was removed from my life because she gave a damn.  The Watchers can be like that when they're breeding the next generation."

"Unsurprising really.  You breed for certain traits and then train the rest into them, not caring about the souls you destroy.  So, you're Goemon's student," he said, looking him over.  "You're very young, boy."

"I'm not that young and I'm not the only one."

"Hmm. I've heard of the other.  Lavelle.  Such an odd name."

"His parents gave it to him, whine to their dead bodies," Marcus sneered. "My Master won't meet you in combat."

"Your Master will meet me in combat and he'll die."

"I doubt it," Xander said as he walked in.  He waved the vase, smirking at him.  "Unlike some people, I knew it was you."  He tossed the vase at the wall.  "Since it was a copy anyway," he said smugly.  "Come on, you can face me anytime now.  You go through me to get to Goemon."

"If I must.  In here?  You might damage the boy, or I might.  He is a mouthy brat."

"Yeah, we like him like that," Xander said, undoing Marcus' bonds with a swipe of his borrowed sword.  "Come on.  We can go here, or anywhere you want, little man."

"You talk big for one so strange," he sneered, looking him over.  "And for a fairy as well."

"Do you see wings?"  The man shook his head. "Then I'm not a fairy.  Get it right, I'm bisexual and fairly indiscriminate.  Not that I'd *ever* be desperate enough to sleep with you.  Out, Marcus.  Call Lupin, tell him where you are so he can come rescue you."  Marcus disappeared and Xander took off his leather jacket, tossing it aside.  "Let's go."

"In here?  It's small."

"Which hinders both of us.  Unless you want to put it off."

"No, I believe I'll challenge your Master."

"Small problem with that, Goemon's not coming this trip."  The man looked stunned.  "You get me or you get Lupin or you get Marcus and then you get me.  Choose now or be in pieces.  I'm bored and you're cutting into my sex time."  The man winced and moved closer, holding his sword.  "In here or outside?"

"There's less interference in here."

"Fine.  There can be only one."  He saluted him with the sword, did a sketchy bow, then attacked with his usual battle cry.  The man backed away, looking horrified as Xander pinned him against the wall.  "That's right, Goemon trains me very well," he said smugly.  "Now, are you going to yield or should we have a *real* fight?"

"I'll let you challenge me outside," he gasped, noticing someone coming in.  "Help, he's trying to kill me."

"He had my best friend hostage," Xander said without looking, knowing it was a cop.  "I'll find you," he said with a wink.  "Tenish?  When you're usually at your pleasure?"  He grabbed his jacket and disappeared.

The assassin looked at his second.  "I want everything there is to know about that boy."

"He did the maze at the top level and walked out with only three minor injuries.  He's the only one who survived doing it at a harder level and he still did it faster than the people who did it on normal.  His time with Jigen was closer to normal and they came in first since the people died two days after the maze was done.  The group as a whole came in first.  He's Jigen's student."

"With the way he fought!"

"With the way he fought," he agreed quietly, looking respectful.  "They're cross-training the kids.  Goemon's said some very complimentary things about both of them."  He shrugged.  "Where are you meeting him?"

"The park," he decided.  "It's open and there are those trysting grottos.  He picked the time and we can send him notice of the place.  Do so."  He sat down to calm himself.  That boy was fast and he was feeling old again.  He would have to win if he wanted to take his vengeance on Goemon.

***

Goemon looked up as the news report came across the radio of two people with swords fighting in a park in Paris.  He grimaced as he slid out of the bed.  He walked out of his room, finding Lupin waiting on him.  "Which one was it?"

"Xander.  He took on the rat."  He shrugged and stood up.  "Marcus is back.  He's in his room if you wanted to check on him.  He darted him from behind.  The mark's on his shoulder."

"Did Xander survive?  The reporter said one didn't."

"No, Xander's in the kitchen," Lupin said.  "We're working on a cut he got on his arm.  Apparently he's having a problem believing he's not two-dimensional again."   Goemon grimaced at that.  "You can come help if you want."

"I should.  How long did the battle go on?"

"Not more than a half-hour.  Xander's tired but not horribly so.  The other guy was sliced and diced by the time Xander finished him.  Little cuts that wore him down and made him ache.  He wanted you, Goemon.  Xander took your challenge for you."

"Of course he did.  He wouldn't dare take me from my future son."  He walked down the stairs to check on Xander, noticing the smaller scratches and the one big cut.  "That needs stitches."

"We're putting in staples," Xander admitted.  "Jigen went to get the gun."  He looked at him.  "He's very sorry he ever thought about bothering you and he's quite sorry that he won't live to see your son become as good as you.  He said so before I killed him."  He looked at his arm again, blotting the blood that was still coming up sluggishly.  Jigen came back with the stapler and Xander grabbed the counter, letting him do it without being hit at as each one went in.

"Next time, tell us, Xander," Jigen said firmly.

"You didn't know?"

"About the kidnaping, the same as you did," Jigen defended.  "The next thing we know, Marcus is back, Xander's gone, and Marcus said that Xander freed him and took your challenge."  Goemon smacked Xander across the back of the head.  "You want to paddle him too?  Lupin said he was thinking about it."

"If he tries, I'm kicking his ass and leaving you all," Xander warned coolly.  "I'm not something that can be spanked when I mess up.  Besides, I was being .... helpful," he hissed the last word as another staple was added to his arm. "Did I really need that one?"

"Yes," Goemon said, making the boy look at him.  "I could have handled him."

"You could have but I'm faster because I'm younger.  He's your age, he's getting slower, he was feeling his age, and he wanted a 'you or him' contest.  One of you wasn't going to walk away and Fujiko's in no shape to take care of you right now."

"All good points, but I should have fought him."

"Tough, I took out my aggression at not being laid today on him," Xander said, getting free and heading for the gym to work out on the ropes.

Goemon looked at Jigen.  "I believe I see the bad side of being his mate.  That overprotective urge must be worse if you're closer than a friend."

"Probably," Jigen agreed, putting down the staple gun.  "I'm sure we can train it out of him.  It'll get someone killed some day."

"Him, while he's saving one of us."

"Which is what we do," Marcus pointed out as he joined them.  "It's our job to help you and to take on fights for you so you, with more experience, can get away.  It's what those of us who were trained as good guys and knights are supposed to do."  He poured himself some water from the refrigerator.  "How is she, Master?"

"She's doing fine.  That cramping was said to be normal.  She's still in bed, she was sleeping.  Are you all right?"

"I have a stiff neck but nothing else."  He tried to pop it but it didn't work.  "I'll find a chiropractor tomorrow."

"I can do it," Jigen offered.

"No offense, but I only trust people who are smaller than me to do that.  I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose but accidents do happen and I'd hate to haunt you afterwards," he finished with a small grin.  "I'd rather have someone smaller and more delicate than I am do it for me."  He went back to his room and his book.   He would have to study harder, Xander was showing him up and that was smashing his ego flat.  He sipped his water while he read, getting back into the fantasy story until Lupin knocked on his door.  "Enter."  Lupin walked in and closed the door.   "Is there a problem?"

"No," Lupin admitted, sitting on the end of his bed.  "I'm checking on you.  How are you?"

"I'm fine.  My neck's a bit stiff but I'll find someone to fix it tomorrow."

"Jigen can."

"I only let people who are tinier than I am do it.  I'm paranoid about accidents."

"Understandable," Lupin admitted, curling up a bit more.  "What's going on with you and Xander?"

"With both of us?"

"You two aren't laughing and joking.  Are you jealous of him?"

"No, I'm in awe of him.  Even with all that knowledge he gained from the vision he's still light years ahead of me."

"So you're only a bit jealous of him?"

"A bit," Marcus sighed.  "Not terribly so.  I've been pushing myself to catch up to him.  My implanted memories should be nearly as good as his."

"Marcus, he had an extra twenty-seven years in there."

"I know that, but it's still sad that I can't match him with a sword.  I feel I should and I'll keep working myself harder until I feel I'm good enough.  Xander probably has some skills that he feels the same way about.  I know he studies his languages through the first book, or the first year of lessons.  I'm sure he'd like to learn them better."

"He probably would," Lupin agreed.  "Are you sure you can work with him?"

"Of course I can.  I'll simply pout at his back now and then when he decides I need to be guarded after this.  Eventually he'll get over it, once I put him on his back outside once or twice, but I know I'm not as good as he is.  I shouldn't be leading the charge, I should be the rear guard for right now.  As I get better, I'll get closer to the front of the skirmish."

"Goemon says you're very good."

"Yes, but I've only trained now for two years. I'm not near good enough to do any of this in a battle situation.  One-on-one is different but a mass battle I can't.  My memories are screaming at me that I should be," he admitted, "but I haven't gotten there yet."

"Do you know how long Goemon's trained?"

"Yes, I asked.  Which is why I'm not disappointed in myself.  Using him as a yardstick, I'm about two-thirds to his level.  Using Xander, I'm about half because he's very versatile.  I'd like that, but for right now I need to concentrate on what I'm good in.  I can shoot well enough to hit a target when I need to, even under stress.  I may not be able to wound in an arm or a leg but that's more of a specialist skill. I can hit a stomach, a chest, or a head when necessary.  My fighting needs work and I'm working on it with the people whom I need the most help from.  By the time the baby comes I fully expect myself to be good enough to take on Xander outside, without his special moves he learned off anime, and at least tie.  I can nearly do so now, but not every time."

"So you're being realistic but not over confident?"

"I think you'll find that both of us suffer from that.  It may seem like low self esteem but in fact it's mostly very high expectations of what we consider 'good enough'."  He grinned a bit.  "I'm sure Xander's wiling to admit he's good enough with most weapons and probably with some explosives.  I admit I'm more than good enough with my hand-to-hand. I can beat Xander there.  My swordwork still needs some more fine tuning and that's what I've been working on.  I'm narrowing in on my skills while Xander is ready to take on new lessons and add them to his repertoire.  That's why he's been studying locks again."  Lupin smiled at that.  "So, we're fine, Lupin.  I don't loathe Xander out of some fit of jealousy.  I only envy him the way he gets laid by anyone but Jigen and Goemon or Fujiko."

Lupin snickered.  "I remember being that free with my attention.  At least the kid plays safely."  He stood up.  "So you're good, we don't need to send Xander on an assignment in China or anything for six months?"

"Oh, dear Lord no.  Who would I work out my frustration on?  I'm afraid I'll hurt Goemon since his concentration's on his future son."

"Good point," Lupin agreed, nodding.  "Just know that you can come to me if you ever do get to that point."

"If I ever get to that point, I'll tell Xander to go away myself and then go pout in a corner.  I've done it once before."

"Thank you, Marcus."

"You're welcome.  If you tried to reason with Xander again, you might keep him from going too far in his workout.  He tends to lose his concentration when he's pouting."

"That's my next step," Lupin admitted, heading out and down to the gym. He found Xander tangled up in the ropes.  "What were you doing?" he asked with a grin.

"Trying for a handless backflip and the ropes got twisted," Xander sighed.  "Can you help me get down?"

"Sure.  But you know you're not allowed in here without supervision."

"I was using the safety equipment.  I was being good."

"That's fine, but you still don't need it, Xan.  If we need acrobatics, we're fucked anyway."  He lowered the rope setup so he could work the boy loose, then grinned at him.  "Was it a well-fought fight?"

"Yeah, but he got desperate after about ten minutes."  Xander winced as he shrugged. "One of those is going to pull for days."  He sat down, looking at his mentor and boss.  "He got desperate because he wasn't prepared to fight someone younger and faster.  He wanted a 'one of us will die' match with Goemon.  He considered Goemon his equal.  I consider Goemon his better, but that's a matter of perception I guess."  He grinned. "Anyway.  The fight went on, the cops caught me with him on his knees and my sword in his throat.  I backed off when the lights started to shine on us, he lunged up and tried to stab me in the chest.  I turned so he got my arm and then got him across the side, severing his pancreas and stomach.  I also put Goemon's sword back upstairs after I cleaned it," he admitted.  Lupin smirked at him.  "Hey, I don't have my own blade and the practice blades were all dull.  I needed a good sword and he wasn't coming.  Not with a baby on the way."

"True.  You do know he's upset that you thought he needed protecting?"

"Him taking care of Fujiko is more important than any stupid idiot challenging him.  It's totally honorable if his students take it for him.  He can always beat them later if we lose."

"True," Goemon said from the doorway, "but how would I have done that if my sword was there?"

"Easy, you would have reclaimed it or I would have sent it back before I died.  Didn't I clean it?"

"You did, but I noticed it was moved."  He walked inside.  "It was an honorable fight?"

"I gave him three chances to yield, including when I had him on his knees, right before the cops got there.  Oh, we got some Highlander quips too."  He grinned up at him.  "It's totally honorable to have a student fight for you."

"It is," he agreed. "If the student agrees, which you did.  I find no fault with that action, even though I didn't need the protection."

"Goemon, that baby upstairs should be your only concern at the moment," Xander said firmly.  "That's the way it's supposed to be.  Idiots with big noses or not.  That should be your only concern until he's at least a month old.  Even for samurai.  Therefore your students are going to keep conspiring to take any challenges for you for a bit longer.  Now, go play with your son so I can get back to learning how to do a backflip without my hands and figure out how to find myself a *good* sword."

"Fine," Goemon said, smirking at him. "You are transparent."

"Hey, not an issue in my attitude of caring.  Transparent me causes less problems."  He grinned.  "Now, go stroke the baby from the inside.  She needs to make more noise to cover up what I'm going to do later to Lupin or with my stash of toys."  Goemon blushed but went to do that.  Xander looked at Lupin.  "Either way you want it of course."  He stood up and did a perfect backflip without his hands.  "See, I'm good."

"You are, you're still in trouble for being in here without supervision," Lupin said smugly.  "You know better, Xander."

"Yes, sir," he sighed, trudging after him and letting the door be locked with the special lock that took the remote control that Jigen kept around his neck these days.  That's okay, Xander could go play outside later.  The grass was pretty soft most of the time.  After he had worn Lupin out again, he went outside to perfect a back handspring.  A bit more energy was required and he had it to spare.  He could do it from a cartwheel but not from a standing position and he needed to figure that out.

"No way in hell!" Lupin called out his window.  "Get back up here."

"Yes, sir," he complained.  "Can't I even..."

"Jigen, he's doing it again.  Drag him up here."

"Do I look like superman?" Jigen complained as he came out to grab Xander and drag him back to bed. "Stay up here a bit longer, kid.  He's a light sleeper tonight."  He left him at the door and went back to his own room.

"Man, make me feel like an inmate," Xander complained as he walked into Lupin's room.  Lupin pointed at the other side of his bed and Xander laid down, snuggling in. "Better?"

"Much, thank you.  I'll help you with that tomorrow."

"Yes, Lupin."

"Good boy.  Now rest."  He laid down on top of Xander's chest so he couldn't move this time.  "You need to sleep more anyway.  You make me tired."

"Is that like I'm cold put on a sweater?"

"Yes, it is," Lupin said firmly.  "Sleep more so I quit being so worn out."

"Yes, Lupin.  Hey, boss, I got offered the chance to become a sex toy, can I?"

Lupin lifted his head to look at him.  "They want to do what?"

"Make molds of my cock and balls to sell as sex toys," Xander said innocently.

"When do they go on the market?"

"Next week," he said sheepishly.  "Marketed under my real name of Alexander."

"That's fine, Xander.  As long as it can't be traced back to you. Some of the other crooks might pick on you because of it and I don't want you to have to destroy them all."

"I haven't even made move yet to gain power," Xander defended.

"We like it that way," Lupin reminded him. "Keep it that way."  He snuggled in again.  "No more sneaking down at night.  I want you in bed sleeping, not working out."

"But I don't need that much sleep."

"Then watch tv or something, Xander.  Do not make me tie you to the bed every night.  You could get very badly hurt by doing that by yourself and we don't want or need that."

"Yes, Lupin," Xander agreed quietly.

"Thank you.  I don't want to see you hurt."  He gave him a light squeeze.  "Nap.  You'll need it in the morning when we wake up Ishi."

Xander grinned. "Sure.  If you think we can."

"I know we can, we did it the other morning.  Ishi kicked her each time you yelled."  Xander chuckled, a wicked sounding noise.  "Tomorrow morning, Xander. I'm already tired tonight."

"Sure, Lupin."  He let the older man snuggle in and laid there, letting him.  When Lupin was finally asleep he picked up his night vision goggles and his book, going back to his bookmark.  Lupin reached up and took off the goggles, tossing them aside.  "I'm not sleepy yet.  I didn't even have to turn on a light."

"I don't care, you look funny like that."  He put the book down too and sighed, deciding to wear Xander out the only way he knew how.  "You've got to take up jogging again. Right before bed each night."  He grabbed the hard cock, moving gently to tease him.  Xander moaned and lifted his head for a kiss, which he got.  "Relax, let me do this."

"I can."

"I'm sure you can, but you don't."

"Sorry, I'm used to having someone there who wants to take care of it for me," he said defensively.  He got out of the bed and went to sulk in the bathtub for a bit.

Lupin laid there and thought about it.  Xander had lost everything that he was used to.  His loving, tired spouses.  His kids.  He guessed he'd have to fill in until the guy got comfortable again. He got up but Xander slammed the door so he went back to bed.  He wouldn't be coming out for *hours*.

***

Xander was the first down to breakfast the next morning and he was still pouting.  He took his coffee and croissants outside to sit by the fish pond.  That's where Jigen found him an hour later with the coffeepot.  "Thanks," he said when his cup was refilled. "I can't have that, can I?"

"Nope, sorry, kid."  He sat beside him with a grunt for his knees aching.  "I wish you could.  You were probably happier then than you are now."

"Sometimes," Xander admitted. "It's more that I didn't have to look for things anymore.  Even if you guys ignored me, I was still wanted and I could still talk you into putting up with me.  Now I've got to start all over again and I know I can't get back to where I was."  He looked at him.  "It sucks."

"It does," Jigen agreed.  "Then again, you're free to date too.  You could find someone who's willing to have sex with you until you collapse and probably still have Lupin."

"Jigen, my body's used to having two people who want it most of the time.  Unless I break in someone and bring them onto the team to share them with him, it's not going to be happening."  He picked up his coffee and took a sip.  "I'm figuring it out, it's simply taking a while."

"I know but while you're figuring things out, other things are going on around you.  You need to start paying attention to those things."

"When I do, I get lectured.  When I don't I get lectured.  Seeing the point in that?"

"I don't lecture."

"You do so lecture.  You did last night.  You did just now."  He looked at Jigen again.  "You're very good at it, it comes out nicer than most people's, but you do lecture, Jigen."  He went back to watching the fish.  "Not that I mind, but I'm not a little kid.  I wasn't even when I was this age.  Sure, I do dumb shit sometimes, but I don't need my hand held."

"Think you're ready to go out on your own?" Jigen asked dryly.

Xander looked at him again. "How many jobs do you think I've done on my own?"  Jigen frowned at him.  "Honestly."

"Six?"

"Eighteen."  He looked at the fish again and finished off his coffee.  "If I need to, I can.  It'll ease the stress levels around here and will make sure I don't have to deliver Ishi."  He stood up and hauled Jigen to his feet.  "If you want, I can.  That'll give you some time with Marcus.  He could use the bolstering."

"He's fine, Xander, it's you who's gone odd."

"What a fucking shock," Xander said bitterly.  "I get pulled from my life to replay some of it and my first instinct is to change things so they can't happen the way they did.  Am I supposed to not be odd?"

"I thought it was a vision."

"Yeah, me too, but I heard Janus when he was talking to you two.  He said I was pulled back.  That Lotus sent me back to fix it so no one died like that."  He walked off.  "No wonder I can still feel the calluses from the heels."  He headed up the back stairs to his room and packed a bag, writing out a note about how he needed some space to think, then took Dawn's bike and headed off to spend some time alone.

Jigen walked into Lupin's office, frowning at him.  "I fucked up.  He said I lectured him."

"He seems to think we do that a lot," Lupin agreed.  "Was that him leaving?"

"He's gone to think."  He handed over the note.  "He said he was there, that was his life."  Lupin nodded.  "It really happened that way?"

"It really happened that way and Xander's missing what he had.  Namely a supportive and loving family that liked to fuss over him."  He put his feet up. "He'll be back soon.  We're his only link to that life."

"I hope you're right. He took about half of his clothes."

"That's only two weeks worth," Lupin pointed out.  "He'll be back by three or we'll chase him."

"Sure, boss.  Try calling him tonight, okay?  We don't want another two month chase like in the whatever."  Lupin grimaced and nodded.  "Thanks.  I'm going to work with Marcus."

"Let him work with Goemon.  He wants to get his specialist knowledge down better."

"What should I do today?"

"Help me find a baby present for Fujiko?" he asked weakly.  "What does someone get a woman like Fujiko who's having a baby?   If she were mine, I'd be giving her jewelry, but I don't want to step on Goemon's toes."

"I was going to get him a sympathy card but he wants the baby."

Lupin frowned at him. "You got him one of those as a wedding present.  Think you should try for something original?"

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  "We'll go shopping."  He stopped and shook himself.  "I just had a flash of buying presents for Sylvia."

"Yeah, I've been having those all morning," Lupin sighed.  "We'll figure it out while Xander does."  He stood up, following Jigen out to the garage so they could go baby shopping.  "I know what they've already got but I'm not sure what they need."

"Then we'll ask," Jigen decided.  "Head to a baby store and we'll figure it out, then find it cheaper other places."

"If we have to go to the shopping center, I want to get it done then," Lupin said dryly.  "I don't want to be stuck in there for hours on end."

"Good point, boss.  Let's head there.  They're expensive but we've got money right now thanks to Xan.  He said he's pulled eighteen jobs."

"He only paid us for sixteen, but he overpaid us for two of them so I suppose he's thinking it evens out."  He sped out of the garage.  "We'll probably need a new car."

"Only if we all head out at the same time.  If you drive us and Xander drives the others, plus the baby since he likes less open cars, it should be fine."

"Hmm, good point."  He patted the dash. "I'd miss this thing if we couldn't take it everywhere."

"As long as we don't crash it again," Jigen said, holding on as they sped around a corner.  "Easy, we're not being chased."

"Fine," Lupin complained, slowing down again.  "I missed being chased."

"Then appear in Paris in your boxer shorts again."

"Not that way."

"I'm sure Pop's'll be back from his enforced honeymoon soon enough and he'll be after our asses yet again."

"Do you ever get the feeling that he might be after our asses and not just us?"

"No," Jigen spluttered.  "Lupin, you're odd.  Maybe a break from being screwed into unconsciousness each night will help that."

"Probably not," Lupin said smugly.   "Knowing my mind, it'll get worse."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Jigen agreed.  "Cop car coming up behind us."

"I see her and she's a very pretty redhead.  I wouldn't mind being frisked by her."

"Do you want me to take the wheel so you can masturbate?"

"No, I'm good without it.  Xander wore me out last night."

"Good.  Hopefully it'll last for a few weeks."

"No, I don't think so," he admitted, glancing down at his pants as they tented.  "Looks like the little Lupin is ready to go yet again."

"Fuck.  Switch with me so you can that off the side of the car again."

Lupin laughed and they switched drivers, letting Jigen drive while Lupin taunted the cop behind them.   He saw her calling into her radio, then she slowed down and turned around and sped in the opposite direction.  "Pity.  She was cute."

"Have I ever mentioned you make me want to take showers to get clean after you say things like that?" Jigen asked.

Lupin's answer was a laugh.

***

Xander sat down on the bar stool.  He was probably in some sort of trouble for mixing up things in London's syndicate, but he didn't really care at the moment.  He didn't care about too many things actually.  "Beer me," he told the bartender.  The guy looked at him so Xander frowned at him.  "I don't care what brand as long as it's not a light and it's not Killian's Red."  The guy drew him one from the tap and handed it over so Xander handed over ten Pounds.  "I'll need another in about a half hour."

"Sure.  You Lavelle?"  Xander nodded, taking a sip.  It's not like he could hide his freakish silver hair. "There was some freaky stuff last night.  Someone said you handle that."

"I do usually.  What happened?"

"Big, bright lights in the park.  Reporters said some kids set a small fire but the lights were too big for some runaways to do."  He looked him over.  "I don't know what ta tell ya, but there's a cop in here who was lookin' for ya.  They said they'd find you here right now and that it had to be you instead of one'a your gang, that you'd know 'em."

"What kids?" Xander asked, his stomach plummeting.  His kids?  What had happened to his kids?  "What cop?"

"Big, tall, buff guy.  Named Harrison.  Said he's out of the main Scotland Yard office.  Left his card.  Said he was going to most of the pubs in town that were lower class."  Xander took it and pulled out his cell, then handed over fifty Pounds.  "Thanks, mate."

"Thank you.  I think I know what's going on but I can't be sure."  He dialed the number and put the phone up to his ear as soon as he hit send.  "Hi, I need to speak to Inspector Harrison.  The one looking for Lavelle, dude.  Yes, I'm quite sure.  I know where he is but I couldn't talk to him yet."  He listened the hold music.  "Harrison, this is Lavelle.  What kids?"  He sighed.  "Because there's a good chance they're my kids, now what kids!"  He lowered his voice at a look from the bartender and he relaxed.  "That's fine.  Where are they?  No, they're mine.  They're my charges in case something happens.  Hey, if you want me to walk into Scotland Yard with a bounty on my head, I will, but I'd have to stop anyone who got into my way.  Yeah, even that one's mine.  He's in my protection until we can get to his father."  He grinned.  "Because his father's special and he trusts me to watch out for 'em.  I'm their Godfather, okay?  Just give me a place and a time and I'll even leave London."  He snatched a pen off the bartender and a napkin from the stack, writing down the address.  "Sure, I know where it is.  I'll have to pick up a car, I was on my motorcycle.  Thanks, man. I owe you.  I protect you from here on out.  None of the thugs had better touch you or they deal with me."  He hung up and looked at the bartender.  "Car dealership?  Cheap, used, four door that runs."

"I've got one for sale but it's a mini," one guy offered.

"I've got to put my Godkids into it, man.  That's five kids."  The man winced.  "Yeah, so I need something bigger than a mini.  Anyone else?"

"I've got a SUV but it's not for sale," one drunken guy said.  "Wife'd kill me.  Hates the thing but still."

Xander looked at the bartender, who shook his head and waved at someone in the back.  "He's needin' a car to move his godkids somewhere safe.  They're the light in the park last night.  Five little 'ns.  You got something for sale, right?"

"It's ancient and messy but it runs," the dish boy offered.  "It's like an eighty Caddy."

"Decent enough," Xander agreed.  "Got it here?"  The kid nodded. "Then let's see it.  I'll come back for my bike.  I parked it in back anyway."  He followed the guy out, agreeing to his price readily. It was a good car and a better cover.  He got in and headed for the park the cop had said to meet him at.  He snuck around the other waiting cops, nodding at the one he was there to meet and his partners.  "Hey," he called.

"Daddy!" Savannah cried, running for him.  "Oh, God, you're okay. Lotus wasn't sure!"  She hugged him, crying on him.  "We're okay.  They're all here.  Take us home?"

"Sure, princess, just as soon as I'm sure you're all safe.  Then we'll head home."  He looked at the cops.  "Where's the rest of them?" he asked quietly.

"In one of our squad cars.  She's really yours?"

"She's really mine.  I left her somewhere safer."  He hugged her, getting down to do it.  "Oh, Gods, Princess, I missed you guys," he whispered, holding her as tightly as he could.  He heard a gun cock.  "I kill people who pull weapons around my kids," he said coldly, glaring up at Zenigata.  "Didn't like the honeymoon?"

"No, I'm chasing you," he said bitterly. "Your kids?  Dawn didn't mention any kids."

"It's a damn long story, Pops, and you won't get me this time.  This is my daughter, the others are my kids.  There's nothing on this plane or any other that will stop me from taking them from this park.  Unless you want to leave the boys fatherless again, I'd back off."  Zenigata took two steps back.  "Good enough.  Guys!" he called, waving a hand.  The other kids rushed over.  Lotus, but not Ishi.  The Fourth and Melissa.  Sierra was sucking her thumb as she got his back.  Fred and Sarah were toddling behind them.  "Oh, damn, most of you," he whispered.  "Thank you, Janus!" he called. "No last one?"

"I couldn't," Lotus admitted quietly, hugging him harder.  "The Father?"

"Back in Paris, sweets.  We'll see him soon.  Let's get you guys somewhere safe."  He stood up.  "Okay, head past Gramps to the old blue Caddy in the parking lot.  I'll come back later for my bike."  The cops let them pass, they knew he'd kill them with the way he was touching them all.  "Everyone into the back, there should be more than enough room," he ordered, setting down Savannah.  They all scrambled into place, two of them taking the front seat with him.  "That's fine.  We all in?"  Sarah patted the door so he picked her and Fred up, handing them back.  "We all here, Lotus?"

"We're all here, Mommy."

"Thanks, Princess.  Let's go then."  He checked again then closed the door and headed out to his estate.  On the way he called Tornado.  "It's Lavelle.  I need a huge ass favor.  My kids just showed up and I had to get a car to take them with me.  That means I left my bike in the back of the pub I was at.  Yeah, that one.  Can you bring it to my estate.  Yes, that was me," he said patiently.  "Sorry, did it mess things up that badly?"  He grinned.  "See, I knew you'd do it fine, sweetheart.  Then you're doing fine.  You shouldn't have to prove it more than once.  Promise."  He looked in the mirror, noticing some of the kids were looking really pale.  "Gotta go.  Yeah, that's fine."  He pulled over and looked at them. "What's wrong, guys?"

"We feel kinda icky, Daddy," the Fourth said, rubbing her stomach.  "It's not the car either."

"Hmm. Then we're heading to a good witch I know.  We'll figure it out."

"Did I mess up?"

"No but traveling back through time often makes one ill," Xander offered.  "Trust me, I got really sick both of my times.  Especially if you came the Kitsune way."

"We did," Lotus admitted.  "Was that okay?"

"It's fine, sweetness.  I missed you guys so much."  He sniffled then pointed the car at the nearest witch he knew he could trust, on the other side of the city.  They got better the closer they came to the park so he called her to get her working on it in advance, letting her know about that linkage as well.

***

Goemon answered the phone, nearly dropping it when he heard the soft kid's voice on the other end.  "Who are you?"  The answer he got did make him drop the phone.  "LUPIN!"  Lupin came running. "Answer that," he ordered, pointing at it.

Lupin put the earpiece up to his ear.  "Yes?"  He groaned and held his head.  "Lotus.  Sweetheart, what are you doing already born?"  He listened to her.  "Where is Xander?"  He nodded. "Sure thing.  We'll meet you all at the estate.  Don't worry about it, we're not mad.  Tell Melissa she did the right thing, sweetness.  Sure.  By tomorrow night.  Love you too.  We'll work it out then."  He hung up and looked at Goemon.  "Yes, that was her.  Pack.  Let me tell Fujiko."

"I should."

"I'm not sure you should.  She'll turn to you for comfort."  He headed up the stairs at a dead run.  "Jigen, pack.  Lotus just called from London."  Jigen came out of his room, looking stunned.  "They're all there but Ishi and the youngest.  Now."  Jigen nodded, heading in to do that for himself.  Lupin knocked on Goemon's door, walking inside.  "Okay, we've got something odd."

"That vision?"  He nodded.  "Is Lotus from then?"

"She's your next child, Fujiko.  Born right after Ishi.  She's the one who sent Xander back to fix things."  Her mouth fell open as she sat up and she tried to say something.  "She couldn't bring Ishi because he's already here.  She brought the rest that were living.  She also brought two of them back to life," he admitted.  "Xander's having them treated to make sure that the trip didn't hurt them.  That means you're now a mother to a daughter who's nine if I remember right and Ishi used to be her big brother.  We're meeting them at Xander's new estate.  If you don't want to come, we'll understand, but we have to be there."

"I'm coming," she agreed. "I want to see this little girl!  Is she like me?"

"She was there for a bit but that was mostly because you were possessed.  Think a cross of Goemon and a witch.  That's Lotus."

"She's a witch?"

"She's a nature witch, Fujiko.  She talks to tree nymphs."  He turned and found a furry creature behind him.  "You again?"

"I helped them get back here.  I came to make sure you knew."

"Xander hadn't called yet but he was also exhausted trying to fix the link they had to the spot they appeared."  The Lord of the Kitsune nodded.   "No last one?"

"No.  That one would have to come to be again, Lupin."  He scratched a furry eyebrow. "The estate has cops around it already.  Tornado warned him.  She took his bike to the new place he had just bought. It's not repaired yet however.  Xander's being hunted.  You'll need to move the children first and then him."  Lupin nodded.  "Here?"

"It's not safe enough," Fujiko told him.  "Is there anyplace else?"

"See, in their time, Xander had multiple hideouts of his own, plus all the ones you've got."  He snapped his fingers. "Japan.  That hideout.  We've never seen it.  Does he own it yet?"  Lupin dived for the phone to call Murami.   The Kitsune looked at Fujiko.  "It's good to see Ishi is still calm in this stage."

"Not always.  He still kicks a lot and usually in response to Xander yelling."  She forced herself out of the bed so she could pack.  "Where is the hideout in Japan?"

Lupin hung up.  "Murami said it came with the comic and anime company," he said happily.  "He just barely owns it now.  Fujiko, I need that choker, just in case."  She pointed at the box and he took it, going to pack with the Kitsune's help.  "Is he okay?"

"He's fine, he was severing the linkage, that's what brought it back to my attention and I took the note that Lotus had from myself.  They were supposed to stay with us until I got Xander somewhere alone and safe.  He should be fine, he's simply tired.  I'll get him on a chartered flight to Japan as soon as I can.  Can you meet it at Heathrow or that new one?"

"Sure.  Definitely.  When?"

"If not, meet them in Tokyo."  The Kitsune disappeared, going to where Xander was.  "You need to charter a flight, Xander."

"I'm mostly broke," Xander pointed out.  "With the recent buying spree I'm pretty broke actually."

"Then dip into that special emergency fund.  This is the time for it.  Lupin is bringing your choker as well."  He looked at the sleeping children.  "They look very innocent."

"They do," Xander sighed, calling his estate.  "Hey, Celeste.  Have the cops gone yet?"  He grimaced.  "Sure, put him on.  Gramps.  Listen.  If this was the boys, would you let them do this to Dawn?  Because I'm apt to act less rationally than she would.  Then I'd ask her.  Because I had a few of them myself, okay?" he snapped.  "Yes, things can do that.  Ask Dawn or Ethan if you don't believe me."  He took a deep breath.  "I don't care, Gramps.  They're my kids.  I'm protecting them, even if I have to make it so you forget I ever existed."  He rubbed his forehead.  "That's fine, I can still work on the rest of them.  Now get off my property. I'm not going there while you're there and the staff's been there since before I earned it."  He hung up and looked at the witch, then up.  "Yo, Ethan, can you help me do something unethical so I don't taint the nice woman here?"  Ethan appeared, giving him a long look. "Yes, they're chasing after me.  The kids showed up."  He pointed at them and Ethan moaned, then looked at him again and nodded.  "Thanks.  You don't have a handy private plane, do you?"

"No, I don't," Ethan admitted.  "You, Lord of the Kitsune?"

"No, unfortunately not and none of us have seen the new places yet."  He sat down next to Sarah, stroking her back.  "You rest, dear.  We're working on getting you somewhere safe."  She nodded and drifted off again.  "Do it, Xander, before Lotus can help."

Xander and Ethan walked outside to keep the taint away from the witch.  When Xander stumbled back in he was alone.  "Ow," he noted.  He shook himself and called Murami.  "I need the special account authorized," he said quietly.  "I know but I've got to get the kids somewhere safe, Murami.  Yeah, my kids.  Trust me, you'll be meeting them soon, but for right now, I've got to charter a private plane to Japan and I need it to leave from somewhere mostly unnoticeable.  We only did an 'ignore me' spell on the local cops.  It won't last if the kids have to sneak into either main airport.  That's fine.  No, we're going to Tokyo.  Sure.  Goemon's got a house in the suburbs.  He could probably put you up if Lupin doesn't get you a hotel room worthy of your magnificence."  He grinned.  "Hey, I like flattering you.  You blush nicely.  Thanks, dear."  He hung up and sat down, his eyelids dropping shut.  "Wake me."

"You rest, I'll watch," the kitsune said quietly.  Xander nodded and let himself finish drifting off.  "I know it's odd, lady, but that is Xander Harris."

"I know of him," she agreed.  "That's why I agreed to help his children."  She looked at them.  "A few were ill when they traveled.  It's magnified their flu."

"I know.  We'll deal with it.  If I had a way around it, I'd take them directly there but I don't know what the new house looks like."

"They probably shouldn't travel that way."  She looked at Xander. "I thought he had money."

"He does, but he just expanded his personal empire by a few houses and a few other things.  He also prepaid for the renovations."  She winced.  "Yes, so he's mostly poor at the moment until his investments are turned back around.  Plus he's got nearly sixty thousand sitting on his dresser."  He plucked Xander's phone from his hand and called Lupin.  "Did you remember his collection?"   He smiled.  "Good.  No, she's chartering it for him from her office in Paris.  We're leaving from a private airstrip here."  He listened. "That's fine, Lupin.  Whenever is good enough.  Or we could meet you there.  Xander and Ethan had to make the cops ignore them for now.  What caused that rush?  Was it the children?"  He grimaced.  "Of course he should have meddled.  It was horrible.  Even our people were being run out of business."  He hung up and put the phone back into Xander's jacket pocket.  "The cops decided that the meddling in the local syndicate is going to bring a war but Xander's already cured that."

"His bike was delivered here," she offered.

"We'll have it sent there," the fox spirit assured her.  "They can take it on the plane with them."

***

Xander opened the door for the new hideout and let the kids inside first.  "Find a room, guys, and nap."  They nodded, trudging that way.  "We'll come up and baby you soon."  Xander found the nearest couch and flopped down onto it.  "I'm wiped."

"I know you are," Jigen soothed gently, patting him on the head. "Are you sure that's just the flu?"  Xander nodded, yawning into the cushion.  "Then we'll figure that out."  He went to help the kids get into their rooms, leaving Lupin to get everything else settled.  He found Lotus hugging a tree.  "Suck up natural energy later, Lotus.  Nap for now.  You need it more."

"I will.  I was setting wards."  She yawned and went up to her room, finding it because it had more plants.  The room next to hers, her brother's if he were here, was empty of course but he was about to be born soon.  She wasn't sure what was going on.  She looked up. "Mr. Fox?"  The Kitsune appeared beside her.  "What about Ishi?  We need Ishi."

"Would it make you feel better if I went to get him and the swords, Lotus?"  She nodded.  "The adults here will protect you."

"I know, but he'll be miserable and I miss him.  The new one can be someone else or something.  I don't know how this works."

"That's fine.  I'll see what I can do, Lotus."  She nodded so he disappeared.  In the future, his self got a sudden jolt as the memory hit him. He looked at the remaining three children he was guarding, Ishi guarding them with both swords.  "They're ready for you now," he said quietly.  Ishi nodded, gathering up their things and the babies.  "You are quite a warrior, young man.  I'm proud to know you.  Keep that up and you will be fine and very famous."  He fluffed the dark hair.  "You behave.  The flu's gotten worse back then and you're about to be born."

"Won't that warp time?"

"No more than we already have.  This future is already closing and it's better if we get you out of here.  Also, I'll be sending back other things.  Tell the me then to clear the kitchen for trunks and things.  Or the basement if you have one.  Have him think about where to store it otherwise."  Ishi nodded, strapping on the baby carriers and the two diaper bags, plus he sat on the other things that had to go back with him then.  "Close your eyes.  It'll hurt."

"That's fine," Ishi agreed, closing his eyes.  He felt the wrench of the move and opened his eyes to find his mother staring at him in shock.  "Mother.  Take them, they're heavy."  She took the kids and he went to stalk his father, finding him staring at Lotus.  "Father, I brought you back your sword," he said quietly.

Goemon spun, then grabbed the boy to hold.  "Ishi," he whispered, squeezing him as hard as he dared.  "Are you all right?"

"Fine, Father, but I need to pass on a message."  He looked at the Kitsune.  "There's other inanimate things that have to come back.  Think about where you want them.  There's a lot of stuff."

The Kitsune nodded and went to find a good spot. The river access in the basement wasn't a good spot but the storehouse behind it was excellent.  It probably held cars or planes from the size and levels.  He concentrated hard on the picture and things started to appear.  He moved them out of the way and more things appeared in the same spot.  By the time everything was transferred back he was exhausted but he could feel the other one closing off.  One last small box came back and he snatched it, knowing it was for him.  He looked inside and smiled.  "I will find her and court her," he agreed.  "She will be the one who gives me sons."  He went to tell Jigen, since he was still awake and pacing.  "The things that would have been lost are in the warehouse behind this one.  I have no idea if they attach to somewhere else.  If they do you may wish to move things to a bedroom or somewhere similar."

"Thank you," Jigen said quietly, staring down at him.  "Is that future closed?"  He nodded.  "What about the kids?"

"It won't cause an instability," he promised.  Then he disappeared to find that kitsune maid and make her his.

Jigen walked into where Lupin was sitting with his two girls.  "Lupin, everything from then got transferred back to the warehouse.  We need to make sure no one else can get to it."

"Coming," he agreed, standing up and following him to where he knew the warehouse had to be.  It was the same place most garages were.  They were both stunned at the sheer volume of stuff, but that was fine.  The only other door led to another warehouse that was empty so they locked and sealed the door, then went back to watch over the kids.  "Is Goemon okay?"

"He's still hugging the first son," Jigen assured him.  He found Goemon looking at a new sword.  "It okay?"

"It's fine," he offered.  He looked at Lupin.  "The other one my family made, this one for Xander."  He let him hold it to look it over.

"Wow. It's heavy too."  He handed it back properly.  "Are you okay with this?"

"I have to be," Goemon agreed.  "They're not leaving?"

"Their possible future was shut down," Jigen told him. "The kitsune said it wouldn't cause any imbalance.  They're all ours."

Goemon nodded.  "Thank you both."  He bowed to them then took his son to his room to help him settle in.  He heard a baby crying and went to check on him.  "Ah, the last son," he said fondly, picking him up from Fujiko's arms.  "How are you, son?"  He cuddled him and the baby quit crying.  "He was the one you died while carrying."

"No wonder he hates me.  Whose is this one?"

"Xander's and one of the men's."

"Xander?"  He nodded.  "As in one of them carried her?"

"Xander did. With a spell and the choker it is possible to do," Ishi told her.  He looked at his baby brother.  "Are you sucking on him instead of the mother?  Does he taste good?"

"You did the same thing, son," Goemon assured him.  That's when he realized he had the memories of their childhoods.  He relaxed and smiled at him.  "I remember."

"Good. That's always nice to have happen."  Ishi took his baby brother.  "Come on, little man.  We'll nap together before Lotus attacks us to hug and cuddle."  He carried him back to his room, settling in to sleep with him.

"That choker does that?" Fujiko asked in a dead voice.  Goemon looked down at her and nodded.  "How?"

"It's consecrated to Janus," he admitted.   "Xander was in and out of it for the longest time."

"Oh."  She stood up with a grunt of pain.  "What about this one?"  She stroked her stomach.

Goemon stroked it as well.  "I love all my children, Fujiko. Even though he won't be the fourteenth, he will still be my son.  We'll have to find a new name for him since they're staying."  She looked hurt.  "They are your children as well."

"I don't remember them!"

"Maybe that's because you were dead when the attack happened," Jigen offered as he walked in with a bottle.  He took the last baby and fed her, making her a happy baby.  "Yeah, you eat.  We'll figure out that nasty breastfeeding stuff later."

"Huh?" Fujiko asked.

"You died while carrying that last one, Fujiko," Goemon said quietly.  "Xander took him in and breastfed him for me.  That way I wouldn't worry about him being malnourished."  She shrieked and hit him.  "I did not touch her," he said sternly, catching her hands.  "I did not touch her," he repeated more gently.  "She merely acted as an alternate mother for them."

"The kids consider her their mother anyway," she said bitterly.  "I can see it now."

"That was your own choices," Goemon reminded her.  Lupin came in.  "Are we settled in?"

"We are," he admitted, taking the baby to hold and cuddle. "Hey, Alex.  You okay in there?"  She cooed at him around the nipple.  "Yeah, that's our future princess of pain and misery."  Jigen snorted and shook his head.  "Fujiko, she filled in when you went off the deep end.  That shouldn't surprise you.  Shit, the cat."

"I brought her," Jigen said dryly.  "She came in my bag."

"Thank you.  Xander might beat us if we forgot his cat."  He jiggled the baby to shift her around.  "There.  Better."  She fussed and whined. "No, you eat. My arm's not used to carrying you guys right now."  He sat down with her, letting her snuggle in.  Once she tried to spit out the bottle and breastfeed but he didn't let her.  "Sorry, she's not doing that and unless Fujiko wants to offer, you're doing that anymore either.  Sorry, Alex."

"I don't think I can handle this," Fujiko admitted, retreating.  Goemon took her to their room and settled her into their bed, then left her alone. She laid there and thought until the door opened again.  "What, Lupin?"

"It's me, mother."  Ishi snuck in and shut the door, coming in and curling up next to her. "I know it's odd.  We realize that.  I wasn't sure of it either or I would have come with the babies sooner."  He patted her on the stomach. "Hello, me."

"He's probably not you," she pointed out.

"That's fine, mother.  I know it's odd, but can you please get over it and not be possessed this time?  We didn't like you when you were and we don't want it this time."  She looked at him. "Really, mother. It was really bad.  You abandoned us and we hated it."

"I'm sorry, Ishi."

"It's all right.  I understand. I'd be freaked out too.  Even Arsene is freaked out and she's usually up for anything as long as it seems fun or necessary.  By the way, the flu started with her so you might not want to hug her that much until she's better."  He stroked her stomach again.  "This one will probably be another warrior and Father will love him, mother.  Father loves all of us for being here.  If you can't accept that, I'm really sorry, but we need him.  We nearly died because Uncle Xan did.  Until Little Alex is grown up, Uncle Xan is a anchor point for the world apparently."

"Or at least that one," she pointed out.

"Or at least that one. I don't understand how all that works.  Magic scares me and Lotus is very strong.  That's how she sent all the girls and Fred back."  He grimaced.  "Father explained it as being another weapon at her disposal but she does sometimes scare me with how strong she is.  Uncle Xan and Uncle Marcus took her into hand though so she'll be fine."

"I hope so," Fujiko agreed, letting the memories hit her now.   "I'll try, son, but I can't guarantee anything."

"We're not asking you to, mother.  Things are odd enough when you're pregnant.  There will be some more magic done once Uncle Xan is awake and able to do so.  Uncle Marcus and he will both be exhausted along with Dawn, Ethan, and Ripper. Otherwise their whole world could fall apart and then we'd all die again."  He shuddered and she hugged him.  "Thank you.  I've missed this.  Auntie Xander isn't built the same."  He snuggled into her arms, letting her hold him as tightly as she wanted.  "Thank you, Mother."

"You're welcome, son.  Let's nap, okay?  Before the little you gets upset with me again and I can't sleep."  He nodded, closing his eyes.  "Where's the baby?"

"Morris is in my bed."

"Morris?  Like the cat?"

"You made sure his name would be Kenji Morris Goemon."

"Oh, man, I must have been hallucinating," she sighed.  "We'll have to fix that."

"We usually call him Morris.  We think he'll be like the cat."  He sighed.  "I'll miss our cat."

"We have one in the house, son, you can have her."

"Thank you, Mother."

"How did Xander get twenty-seven years of training if you're only eleven?"

"You made a wish and sent him and Father back in time, plus he went back a second time, plus all the training he took with the Kitsune on and off.  Plus whatever he sucked up off others.  Uncle Xan is amazing, nearly as great as Dad."

"Yeah, he is," she agreed.  "She really breastfed your brother?"

"Along with Fred and Sarah, plus her newest one when she came.  I delivered her because everyone else was gone.  I've also made my first kill to protect the girls, right after my tenth birthday."

"I'm sorry, son.  I know we would have done it for you if we could have."  He nodded, then he sniffled. "What?"

"I'll miss Bix."

"You rang?" a female voice said as she appeared.  "Ishi, let the poor woman sleep."

"I am, Bix," he said with a grin.  "Back together again."

"Yes, and you're still too young for me, young man.  Now back to your own bed.  Let me gather up the children."  She bowed to Fujiko.  "I'm Bix.  I'm a distant relation and the nanny."  She hustled Ishi back to his bedroom and gathered up the children, taking them to the nursery to watch over them. They definitely did not need the flu.  Lupin stopped in and raised a finger, even getting to the point where he opened his mouth, then he shook his head and went to sleep with Xander, making her chuckle.  "That poor man. Yes he is, huh, Sarah?" she asked, tickling her as she changed her. "You'll have to love him later, sweetness.  Then pee on him to show you that you love him a lot."

Jigen walked in. "Don't tempt her, Bix."  He patted her on the back, checking on the kids.  "Xander's feeling miserable.  She thinks it's her fault."

"It's not.  The reason that realm closed is because something snapped when she was nearly killed.  That person shouldn't have tried."  She shrugged. "I'll tell him later."  She handed Sarah over.  "Here you go, one princess."  She got Fred changed and he refused to sleep so she let him wander around the nursery for a bit.  He suddenly squealed and went to pounce someone he could see.  "I see a cat made it."

"Ours from here.  Xander snuck her into the house."

"That's fine.  They'd be missing theirs.  I don't think Lotus could bring it."  She shrugged.  "Where is everything?"

"In the warehouse.  Why?"

"Because Xander will need to be properly attired to go up to the Kitsune tonight with Sarah.  She's being introduced you know."

"I didn't know.  When did this happen?"

"Today."  She grimaced.  "It's another precautionary thing, Jigen."  She patted him on the chest and went to dig for the proper clothes, coming up with something for Xander to wear in either form.  Then she went to find him and get him showered.  "Come, you must get up."

"Bix?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, and Sarah's being presented tonight.  Up, up and bathe.  Then I'll bring you back.  Are you going in that form or in your usual female one?"

"This one.  I haven't put on the choker since I refused it when I first showed up."

"Xander, what you did saved everything and everyone.  Our world snapped when you nearly died. Alex was the next lynchpin to our reality and she died in your arms while you tried to protect her.  Our world snapped like a stretched rubber band.  Dawn did get her children out as well, all but her nephews.  They weren't at home but they still exist here."  She stepped closer.  "Now, quit wallowing in misery.  You must get changed.  You only have an hour."  She hustled him into the shower, fixing his hair once he came out and getting him dressed.  Lupin came in during it.  "He's got to present Sarah tonight.  He'll be back soon."  She helped Xander finish smoothing out his kimono then they grabbed Sarah and got her dressed in something better, then they left.

When Xander came back, everyone was eating dinner that Goemon had fixed.  "Hey," Bix said tiredly.  "They argued but nothing bad was said.  It was understood to be necessary."  She looked at Fujiko.  "Well, you won't give birth in a cave in the desert, that was an option."  Fujiko dropped her fork.  "See, we're saving you some pain, dear."  She looked at Goemon.  "Cousin, your son is quite the warrior in training. We gave him some lessons while we were waiting to see if he could come back with the other two.  Even our arms master was impressed and he hates humans."  She looked at Lupin.  "Now, which children am I in charge of for right now? The sick or the well?"

"You take the well ones," Jigen decided. "They're mostly the younger ones and they'll need more constant care since Xan's not lactating now."

"There are drugs for that," Bix pointed out.

"There are," Lupin agreed, "but I don't think it's necessary.  Fujiko will do their son when he's born."

"I am?"

"You are," Goemon agreed. "It will make them healthier."

"It'll stretch me out."

"It'll do it anyway," Jigen assured her.  "They'll have milk no matter what, you might as well use it instead of letting it rot and dry up."  He looked at Lupin, then at the exhausted Xander and Marcus.  "Is all the magic stuff done?"

"Mostly," Marcus admitted tiredly.  "We'll need Dawn and Ethan to help with one and we'll have to travel to do that.  Neither of us is untired enough.  I wish there were more high ability magic users."

"There are, they're in the Watchers," Xander said tiredly, putting his head down.  "Wake me in a few."

"Sure, Xan," Lupin agreed.  "What do you need exactly?"

"Warriors for the light," Marcus said tiredly.  "In that reality my father had been expelled from Hell after they grew tired of him."

"Then call David and see if he can pull up four powerful witches and wizards," Jigen suggested.  Marcus perked up.  "Call."

Marcus took the cellphone and dialed David's, which he still had.  "David, it's Marcus.  We've got a bit of a problem.  Really?  Good, put the bastard on then.  He'll understand."  A short quiet pause.  "Father, the last of the spells still need done and Xander and I are wiped.  Yes, that series.  We've done all but the last one and the locking.  No, the children are here but Lotus is ill.  Xander and I are both exhausted from the rest of it."  He sighed.  "It doesn't say that, Father.  It says it'd be preferable but we are both too tired to pop and won't be able to make it anyplace for another two days at the least."  He looked up, then smiled. "Someone's trying.  Go help them."  He hung up and handed the phone back.  "He'll take Ripper with him to help.  Poor Ethan may not wake up this week."  He sighed and pushed his plate back so he could put his head down too. "Wake me in about ten minutes please.  They're draining us for the spells."  He closed his eyes.

Lupin reached over to check Xander's pulse, relaxing when he felt one.  "They'll be fine."

Goemon looked at the two men as he came out of the kitchen.  "They should eat."

"The last two spells are going off," Jigen told him.  "The bastard father came back as well."

"We have to take the bad with the good," Goemon reminded them. "It also could be worse.  Some of the worst of their world may have come with them."

"I wish he had his contacts already lined up," Lupin admitted.

"He's broke right now," Jigen pointed out.  "He just got everything set back up and now he's waiting for it to pay off.  He did put Tornado in charge of London.  Bastian is looking interested in him after the night they spent together.  Even Hal liked him."

"Hal should like him.  Xander played fair and Hal always liked that," Fujiko pointed out. "He really had to make his single run harder?"

"They had to set it to the top level," Jigen said tiredly.  "Ours was harder too.  Made even more so by the assassins cheating for their team, which Xander killed one of."

"By turning his face into hamburger," Lupin added.  "We didn't get to see the body, no one did."

"You know, we never swept this place for bugs," Fujiko noted.

"I'll do one after dinner," Jigen promised. "Not that I'll expect to find any.  After all, the former owner used to own an anime and manga production company.  Not exactly your typical bad guy."

"True," Lupin agreed, "but better safe than having a shootout with the kids around.  Not that I think anyone will try.  We'll also have to get in contact with the local Don."

"Aren't they about to switch?" Goemon asked.  Lupin nodded.  "Then should we wait?"

"No, we'll contact the soon to be former one since he'll have it back in a few months anyway when the new one is taken down and he's forced to take it back up again. And if he doesn't it doesn't really matter.  We've done our duty."

"All right, men, spread out," Zenigata's voice called.  "I know they're hiding in here somewhere."

"Oh, fuck," Jigen and Lupin sighed, tossing down their napkins.

Marcus stood up with a growl, stomping that way.  "You are interrupting my nap and unless you want those new children to suddenly disappear again, I'd shut up and go away," he shouted in the cop's face.  Zenigata looked stunned.  "I do not have the energy or patience to deal with you today!  Not when the fate of the damn world rests on my magic!"

"Okay then," he said, backing away.  "Never mind.  We may have the wrong address.  We came through the warehouse?"

"That's our warehouse," Lupin said as he walked out to cover Marcus' mouth.  "You need to call home.  In that other time, Dawn lived in another house and your kids just showed up too."  Zenigata looked stunned.  "That's where our kids came from."

"I realize that now," he said bitterly.  "All that stuff is yours?"

"No, most of it's Xander's," he admitted dryly.  "Xander likes to collect things.  He's got a kimono collection worth the millions that he's spent on it.  His comic and anime collection.  His porn collection.  His jewels that he's collected over the years.  That's not covered under your warrant, it's a different address.  That is the law, is it not?"  Zenigata nodded, backing up another step as someone else came out.

"Uncle Zenny, why are you bothering the daddies?" Arsene asked tiredly.  "We're sick and you're being mean again.  I'll have to go steal Disney to make you go away?"

"No, little one, I'd never put children in the line of fire.  Men, we've crossed addresses and that second warehouse is theirs.  Apologize to the owner for me," he said stiffly.

"That would be Lavelle."

Zenigata looked at them.  "You know, this means I'll have Ray back soon and Myron.  This time they'll be warned against him."

"This time he'll know them too," Lupin pointed out.

"No!" Xander shouted, jumping up.  "The underground army in Paris.  That was next year.  They're starting to build now.  We need the slayers there."  He panted, leaning against Lupin's back as a stomach cramp hit him.  "We need to fix that."

"We will, Xan.  Go to bed and wait for me.  I'll give you a backrub."

"Saintly," Xander vowed, kissing him then taking Arsene away.

"Hey, Pops, if you want to be helpful, find my daughter Demara for me, okay? She's one of those."

"She's back in Paris at school, dumbass.  Next time, look closer to home."  He led his men away.  It wouldn't be legal even if he did arrest them.  His men gave him a lot of dirty looks.  "There were children in there and it wouldn't have been legal, men.  He's gotten out of it before."

"Whose children, sir?" one of the men asked.

"Theirs.  The next generation of crime and a few who want to be cops."  He grimaced.  "He's done it before.  The warrant wouldn't be legal.  Even with an international bounty on their heads."  He rubbed his forehead.  "It's moments like these that make me want to retire."  He looked at them.  "A quick lesson, men.  You never bother Lavelle when there are children around.  He will attack first to protect them.  You never bother Lavelle while he's having some sort of pleasure, or he'll cap you then spit on you and go back to what he had been doing.  He's done it in the past when someone tried to break in on him while he was having sex.  You never break in on Lavelle when he's that exhausted or he'll start to shoot anyone.  He wasn't seeing straight.  Forget Lupin, Lavelle is the more dangerous one."

"Lavelle has cross-trained with all of them.  He's got Lupin's timing and planning skills, Jigen's ability with many weapons, and Goemon's abilities and patience.  I have seen that man stand still for two hours before waiting for exactly the right moment to strike.  If you *ever* manage to catch the others and keep them away from Lavelle, expect a high casualty rescue.  If you manage to capture Lavelle and one of them, imagine what Lupin would do, or what Goemon would do, and magnify it by ten."  They shuddered.  "And those children are Lavelle's, even if they're not directly his.  So we never bother Lavelle unless he's in a good mood, he's not having sex, and he's not got any kids around.  Besides, he's training the kids to be just as tough as he is.  Goemon's oldest son is being trained by him too.  The girl who came out was Lupin the Fourth.  She's already shoplifting massive things."

"We've never seen reports of that, sir."

"Oh, you will be soon," he sighed. "If they're in town, I expect them to stay for a bit.  Lavelle's an anime freak.  Loves the conventions."  He shook his head. "It's too bad, I'd love to get Lavelle.  I know my life is forfeit the first time I try it though.  Lupin's slippery. Jigen can be like an eel with how skinny he is.  Lavelle is a force of nature, men.  Never forget that. Marcus is just a bit less formidable than Lavelle is, he's like a younger, nicer version of Lavelle without the snarl and with less gun skills."  Maybe he'd talk to his boss about what she did before.  She was coming up on having the job again.   Maybe she'd decide to do that sooner this time.

The other officers looked at each other behind the old guy's back, deciding to try for themselves the next time the guy was in the open.  A single shot rang out and took out the leader.

"I heard you thinking that," Lavelle called.  "Not around my children, little boys.  I don't play nicely."

They scattered, understanding now.  That man was one scary bastard.  Zenigata waved.  "I warned them."

"I know.  Go play with your kids."

"Thanks, Lavelle."  He strolled off, heading for home.  His boss would have to know then he was done for the week probably.  Or else he'd be quitting soon.

All Together Now....

Xander looked at the kids.  They were all healthy now and wondering what to do with each other.  Ishi had been practicing and running drills for the girls, making his father very proud of him.  Lotus had been doing what she could with Marcus and to help make sure everything was stable.  Lupin and Jigen had went over everything in his accounts with Murami and she was really impressed with his collections.  Zenigata had been put on suspension pending the investigation but they had written a very nice note about how Inspector Zenigata had not only not been aware they had been trying to search the wrong residence, but also that he had acted to save life by pulling back because Lavelle would have hurt the rest of them without any qualms in the least. Lupin was going through everything with Melissa and Arsene's help to figure out what was supposed to have been cashed in, with Sierra watching just to make sure nothing too precious to her father was gotten rid of since she played with his jewelry collections the most.

"You know, I just had a thought," Xander admitted.  "The stuff in the basement in London."

"Is in the back of the warehouse," Lupin admitted. "They consolidated."

"Then I'm not really *enamored* of that tool chest, but I want the sapphires and rubies.  I had something special planned for them."

Lupin looked at him.  "Are you sure, Xan?"  Xander nodded.  "Then we'll do that.  You know, we could almost put the diamond market on the rocks with what you've got."

"Most of it's legitimate if you want to be technical about it.  I've got the bill of sale around here somewhere," Xander admitted, looking at all the stacks of things.  "Plus some really ugly paintings.  I never really liked them, I took them to get bad taste out of the world."

"So I can tell," Lupin agreed, looking at one painting of a golden phoenix.  He looked at Xander, who was staring at something else.  He reached over and tapped the painting, making the thing on it wake up and fluff itself up before flying off to go find some food.  "Thought so," he said dryly.

"Baby hungry?" Sierra said through her thumb.

"Probably," Lupin agreed dryly.  "Quit doing that."

"Whine."

"Excuse me?" Lupin said, sounding shocked.  His daughter had just talked back to him!  When did this start!  "Remove your thumb from your mouth, young lady, and do not backtalk me again."

Xander gave her a look. "I know it's comforting but hug us instead, Sierra."

"Fine," she sighed, letting it go and hugging him.  "I need new crocheting stuff, daddy."

"Hey, not an issue.  If we don't have some yarn around here somewhere, we can send you out with your auntie later and she can help you get some."

"Okay.  You know I like to think with my hands doing something."

"That doesn't excuse the backtalk," Lupin said firmly.  Ethan appeared.  "You're probably the cause of it."

"She's a Lupin, Lupin, of course she's got a smart mouth," Ethan said with a small smirk.  He smiled down at her. "Do you feel better now?"  She nodded.  "Good.  The bird is rather ravenous and I'm sure you could help if you wanted."  She headed that way since her father was sitting right there and they could ask him questions.  "Now, what's this about being broke?"

"More like I have money set aside in hard assets," Xander admitted, waving a hand.  "Six houses worth of my collections."

"Dear God, don't they make drugs for that?"  Xander pinched him.  "Ow!  Heathen!  See if I bring you good news ever again."  He looked down at Lupin.  "You'll want to call your fence in Paris. He's apparently looking for some things."  He waved a hand. "I'm sure you have some somewhere since it was brought to my attention by Ripper."  He rolled his eyes. "Having them both around is driving me insane."

"Then stake the living one," Xander suggested.  "Or have him turn himself."

"Good point," Ethan agreed, rolling his eyes. "I haven't met a vampire yet that was squeamish in the bedroom, Spike being that way as well.  I saved the original Ripper from him and the new Ripper purred and licked him until he laughed and patted him on the back.  Now they want to do a foursome."

"Ethan, children," Lupin said firmly.

"What's a foursome?" Arsene asked.  "Is that like four people having sex?"

Xander looked at her. "No more tv for you.  Not even PBS.  How you can learn dirty things watching Teletubbies and Barney I'm not sure but I'd almost rather have you watching naughty stuff instead."  He looked at Lupin.  "She's your daughter."

"Yeah, she is," he said proudly.  He patted her on the head.  "You can find that out for yourself when you're older, daughter."

"Daddy, boys are icky," she said patiently.

"Fathers are boys," Ethan informed her.  "The same as I am."  She looked hurt and shocked, sniffling a bit.  "The same as mothers are girls.  They've simply grown up."  He glanced down at Xander. "Most of the time."

"See if you ever get laid again by me," Xander hissed, pinching him again.

"Xander, I'm not sharing you with him," Lupin reminded him.

Xander looked at his left hand, then held it up.  "Do I see a ring?"  Lupin sighed and shook his head.  "Then that's your thing.  You never said we were exclusive.  You keep pushing me at people to wear me out.  You can't have it both ways."

"I'd rather have you both ways," Lupin leered.

"I'm tired of tits, Lupin.  It's gonna be a while.  I warned you when I got knocked up with Sarah and Fred that it'd take a while."  Lupin nodded, looking hurt.  "It doesn't mean we can't do other things, dear."

"Yeah, but I miss that multiple thing you had going."

"Hey, get fixed.  Make me a happy woman," Xander reminded him.  "There shall be no more from this body."

"Daddy, if I ever have babies will I have a litter like Mommy did?" Melissa asked.  Everyone stared at her.  "The kitty had a litter with two."

"For humans, a litter is four or more, daughter, and if you do, we'll make sure you don't go insane."

"The vast majority of births are single births, Melissa," Ethan said impatiently.  "Why Xander has twins I'm not sure."

"I thought it was the spell," Xander told him.  "Most bang for the buck thing."

"No, then you would have had litters of babies.  You've been like bunnies."   He looked around again. "What is all this?"

"Paintings, jewels, jewelry, clothes, comic collection, anime collection, porn collection, kimono collection," Xander recited.

"Dear lord, woman, you need a house just to store all this crap in."

"I do not and I'm not a woman at the moment, thank you," Xander said, looking hurt.  "Mean bastard."

"I thought mood swings went away when you took off the choker," Arsene said worriedly.  "Are you okay, daddy?"  Xander nodded and hugged her.  "Okay, as long as you're okay."

"It's me and I've brought a Civil Servant," Murami called.

"Again?" Lupin called back.  "Are you hinting that one of us should take one as a love slave or something?"

"No!"  She walked back to where they were.  "I'm not suggesting any such thing. This one is over business taxes and things."  Xander opened his mouth. "Behave, young man, or I'll paddle you."

"Yes, ma'am," he said meekly.  She would and he wouldn't be able to stop her.

"Thank you."  She looked at Ethan.  "It's handy being older than most of them."

"I'm older than you," Lupin reminded her dryly, smirking at her.

"Not mentally you're not."  Lupin winced but Ethan laughed so she patted him on the back. "Now then, this nice man wanted to know why you bought the company."

Xander looked at him and said in flawless Japanese.  "Because I love anime. It's how I learned most of your culture, language, and demonic entities."  The man looked stunned so he grinned.  "Sorry, you've caught us at a bad time.  Our ready cash is presently being used at the moment if this is a bribe situation.  You'd have to come back in a month."

"How are you expecting to pay salaries?" the civil servant demanded.

"There should be enough within the company to do that, right, Murami?"  She nodded. "Then it's not a problem this payday?"

"Not in the least, Xander," she agreed.  "I've already worked that out with them and nothing's wrong with what's going on or what's planned as long as you get some capital to put in soon."

"Yeah, give me two weeks," he agreed, waving a hand.  "This stuff was all in storage and we're going through it now."

"Some of those are very bad fakes," the civil servant noted.

"Gee, 'cause they're the real ones, I've had them authenticated," Xander quipped.  "Anything else, sir?"  He shook his head. "Then you can come back in a month when everything's running smoothly. This sudden move has screwed a great many things up.  Go, now."  The man stomped out.  Marcus helpfully erased the man's memories down to where he only remembered his name, his address, and his wife's name.  Then he sent him on his way.  "That wasn't nice," Xander called.

"Oh, well," Marcus called back. "Ethan, come watch.  Lotus is floating a branch now and making it sprout."  Ethan smirked as he followed him.

Lupin looked at Murami.  "Didn't we promise you a pay raise?"

"Well, yes, but I can wait until next year, when things are running smoothly again."  She smiled at Xander.  "I'll try to keep them away but he demanded an immediate interview or he would start proceedings to shut down the company."  She shrugged, getting down to help sort out stones.  "This one, Xander?"

"No, not that pile.  The other one, Murami."  She nodded, moving them aside so she could help on the other one.  "Thanks."  Xander put another stone into the 'keep' pile and four more into the 'going' pile.  "Are you sure we can get rid of all this easily?"

"Yeah, not an issue," Lupin agreed.  "Easy as calling some buyers.  I've got six or seven in mind and they can split it up among them."  He added more stones to the 'going' pile, letting Xander pick from the higher-end stones.  Another one was taken out and put aside, probably for its color.  "Okay, so I'll save most of the colored ones for you.  Do you like those?"  Xander looked at them then put four into the pile keeping one he liked the cut on.  "How did you get all these?"

"Buyer's show in New York ten years ago, that time," Xander said quietly.  "Most were bought but a few weren't legal."

"You bad collecting genius you," Murami teased, pinching him on the cheek.  "I'm glad to know that I helped you a lot in that time, Xander."

"Yup, you headed over a lot of stuff that wasn't the totally legit stuff," he agreed with a small grin.  "I'm going to need to save the security company at the end of this year," he sighed as he lost his smile.  He had counted on them for a lot of things.  "Or else they'll go under and they were really good guys."

"Oh, we will," Murami promised.  "You do still have *some* money.  You're not down to watching each penny yet, just each hundred."  She patted him on the back.  "It'll be fine, Xander."

"I know, and that's why I got all this, just in case."  He looked at the stacks of things that still needed to be sold.  "Can we stop on the gems for now?  They're easier to carry."

"Sure," Lupin agreed, loading the rest back into the shoe box they had been pulling from. The 'keep' pile went back in the drawer and the tool chest was relocked so none of the kids got any ideas, especially not Arsene.  "Okay, girls, for helping you get *one* stone each."  Melissa picked a purple one, Arsene picked a pink one, and Sierra came back to pick a pretty clear one.  The rest were loaded up and tied in a bag so they could be looked over by his people.  "Xander, are there *any* artworks you *have* to keep?"

"Two," he admitted, looking them over.  He pulled out the two he liked and added a third that had always intrigued him.  "Just those.  The statues can go.  We can work on the rest later, once things are more cleared out."

"Done," Jigen agreed as he joined them.  "The fences are here."

"Wonderful," Lupin said tiredly.  "Murami?"  He helped her up.  "Why don't you spend some time with Arsene and tell her about the will?"  She nodded, taking the girls to the kitchen and then taking Arsene to the office to chat with her to make sure she was a proper heir.  "Bring 'em in, Jigen."  The fences came in, five of the seven he knew.  "Guys, it's odd, but Lavelle did this stuff through time."

"And usually put fakes in the real one's place," Lavelle offered tiredly.  "The paintings, the statues, and that bag of gems for now, guys.  There's a shoebox full we haven't gotten to go through yet."  The fences looked stunned and walked around.  "Not those three," he said quickly, moving his ones out of the way.  "Nothing past the artwork either.  Most of that is personal stuff from the houses I used to have."

"What happened?"

"Long, strange story, but let's say I slipped realities and went sideways," Xander offered.

"So the paintings could be duplicates?"

"I have no idea," Xander admitted.  You had to be honest with the fences or you'd be without them and then stuck with whatever you had stolen.  Fences were a law unto themselves.  "I'll leave that up to you to deal with."

The fences nodded, picking out the things they liked.  The stones were gone over.  Most of them were lower end stones but the prettier ones would still go and some people would want them because Lavelle had stolen them.

"Any more stones coming?"

Xander opened the shoebox to show them.  "We've got to go through them for the things I *really* liked."

"Just the colored ones?"

"The colored, the exceptionally pretty ones, and things to gift the girls with as they get older."  The fences took the box, moving through it quickly.  They gave Xander back the box with the colored stones and the ones he had said he wanted.  Xander shifted through them, handing over three-quarters of what was in there.  They smiled in unison.  "I know it's a lot, but we can't move all this, guys."

"Oh, we understand fully," one of the fences told him.  "We'll hold an auction or three."  He pulled out a phone and called someone.  "Is there a loading door?"  Xander pointed it out and handed over the control.  "Thank you, sir."  He had a truck back up and things were put in for his part of them, and he listed each thing as it went onto the truck.  The others did the same thing.  "Two days," he offered.  They disappeared with their trucks.

"Ten percent, like usual," the last one assured him, waving as he left.  He closed the door then tossed in the control as it worked its way lower.  "Thank you!"

"They make a great profit off us," Lupin said, holding Lavelle close.  "I'm proud of you for getting rid of so much of it."  Xander opened a trunk and he laughed.  "No wonder.  Put your favorite ones in there, Xan."

"I can't lift it as is."  He dropped the ones he liked in there then reloaded the shoebox.  "When should they come begging with special requests?"

"Within a day of the catalog being announced."  He patted him on the back, leading him out to the kitchen to get him something to eat.  "Here, you need it.  You didn't sleep well last night."

"Thanks.  I had another of those nightmares but for some reason I don't think this one will come true."  He ate a bite of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  "I had a dream that Gramps had to catch me, his boss made him, and that they put me on trial for something minor.  It only took a few weeks but I managed to run the cellblock and get out of it because it was self-defense."

"If it happens, we'll protect you," Lupin promised, giving him a short hug.  "Okay, let's deal with the rest of that stuff.  The kimono collection?"

"I need to find a place to show off," Xander agreed.  "The London house would have been perfect but it's not renovated yet."  He ate another bite.  "We'll have to conference with the contractors soon.  They had the most problem with the concept of padding the floor and the computers going in up top."

"Let us, Xander.  We liked that one, even though it had a ton of marble."

"Sorry, I was in a marble mood," he said tiredly, looking at him.  "I don't know why."

"Let's put you down for a nap.  It's already been a long day for you."  He tucked Xander into bed then went to dig around in the boxes and trunks.  Some of this he hadn't seen before.  He found Jigen already in there, staring at the trunk of gems.  "Those are his."

"No shit."  Jigen closed it and locked it.  "I found Arsene trying to break the lock."

"They're getting earrings for when they're pierced."  He had pitched his voice loud enough for the girls waiting for them to leave to hear.  "Unless they try to hurt their father's things."  The kids trooped out, going to play on the laptop they had found.  They had gotten away from all the chat areas and were playing the games.  "Thank you."  He looked at Jigen again.  "I know some of it, but how much of this is comics, anime, and kimonos?"

"All the kimonos and clothes are against the east wall," Jigen said, pointing them out.  "All the furnishings are on the west wall.  The rest was just piled together."

"Hey, I'm impressed that he got some of it sorted out.  This is an atrocious amount of stuff."

"Girl clothes, boy clothes, kimonos, fighting clothes," Jigen ticked off.  He walked over, finding the edge of the clothing section.  "Plus our stuff, Goemon's stuff, Fujiko's stuff, and the rest of the kids' stuff."

"That makes more sense," Lupin admitted.  "We're going to have to get them to come clean things out.  There's no reason for all of this."  He opened a trunk and paused to stare at the ballgowns.  "Why did she buy this?"

Jigen looked at it, then at him.  "For work?"

"She'd look stunning but we don't need that many gowns," Lupin decided.  "Let's sort by person.  Fujiko can go through hers and Goemon can go through his.  We can go through ours and then help the kids."

"Xander's always been big on charity," Jigen pointed out.

"And we'll be doing that, except for the ballgowns.  Those we'll give to a consignment shop or something."  He shrugged and sat down, sorting through the boxes and trunks until the various people's things were in their own stacks.  "Goemon owns three boxes of clothes?" Lupin asked Jigen, giving him a confused look.

"Apparently," Jigen agreed.  He shrugged.  "Who knows.  Goemon!"  Goemon stuck his head in.  "We're working on the clothing stuff.  Come paw through yours to pick out what you want to keep."

"Of course.  Where is my wife's stack?"  The second largest stack was pointed out, but Xander's far eclipsed her by three times.  "The other is Xander's?"

"Male and female clothes," Jigen agreed dryly.

"Fujiko can look through those as well if she wants," Lupin admitted.  "Once we get Xander to go through them."  Xander padded out, giving him a hug. "Hey, sort through your clothes.  Let's try for reasonable, okay?"

"Most of them were presents and things that had to happen.  I used to do a lot of the social circuit."  He wandered over, pulling open the first box.  It was kimonos so it was automatically put aside.  "You couldn't sort out my collection?"

"Sorry," Jigen offered.  "Can you pare that down too?"  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "Never mind."

"I've got some coming in to Paris too," Xander admitted.  "A new Inuyasha outfit and two new regular male kimonos since most of mine are female."  He continued to work, separating out things for his pleasure.  "Why did I not clean out my closet like I had sworn to?" he complained.  Most of the gowns went into the 'going' pile but six were kept.

"Do you need that many?"

"Yes."

"Sorry," Lupin said sheepishly.  He had no idea what women needed in clothes to be high society. Men only needed a tux or two.  Shoes were added to the pile as well.  In the end, Xander got his stack down to what Fujiko's was, but that was with his collection and both gender's clothing.  Lupin looked at it, then at Xander.  "You could have kept some things."

"I did.  I kept the suits I liked.  I kept the female clothes I liked.  I kept the workout clothes.  I did ditch the maternity clothes so Fujiko can look those over if she wants.  Goemon, are you going to do that romantic picnic on the roof you had planned?  If so, bring an umbrella just in case," she said, giving him a long look.  He nodded, accepting that advice.  He did need to spoil his wife.  Xander levitated the first box up and put it in a corner, then added the others to it.  He roped it off as his things and put his name on it.  "There."  He dusted himself off as he stood up.  "What else am I going through?"

"Wow, are we having a yard sale?" Fujiko asked as she waddled in.

"No, this was all our stuff from then," Xander told her.  "We're going through our clothes for now to see what we want to keep."  He saw one bag and picked it up, then carefully placed it in his pile, then he sat down to fold things and organize the 'going' pile to make sure he hadn't thrown out anything else that he wanted.  Two more things were sent over to his section and then Fujiko got to go through the maternity clothes.  Two of her seven boxes landed in the 'going' pile as well but he shamelessly stole the kimonos for his own collection.  He grinned at her.  "Sue me, I like the things."

"That's fine.  Have fun with them.  I hate wearing kimonos."

"They were your maternity stuff with Lotus."

"I know, but I still hate wearing them," she said firmly.  She looked at her big, strong husband and grinned.  "Can you move the rest to our room?"

"Fine," he agreed, taking them to their closet.  He would help her weed out the things later. She brought in the maternity clothes she liked, and two gowns that would look stunning on her.  "Where were you wearing those?"

"Dinner and theater?" she offered.

"How about a picnic on the roof tonight?" he asked softly, smiling at her.  She blushed and nodded.  "Thank you, Fujiko."  He helped her hang everything up, then offered to get them more suitcases. She kissed him on the cheek.  He went to get his things, coming back to put them up as well.  He had no idea why he had such a formal kimono, or three of them even, but he did.  One he remembered was Xander's but he had given it to him.  "I wonder if he wants it back."

"Probably not."  She pushed him onto the bed and climbed on top of him, smirking down at him.  "Time to pet the baby."

He reached up to stroke her stomach.  "I have no fonder desire, wife."

***

Two days later, Lupin looked around the warehouse. It was much cleaner.  Three-quarters of everything was gone.  The other cats had been found in a box and were being pampered by Lotus, their acknowledged mother.  Goemon and Xander were off looking at the house they had bought before to see if they still wanted it or if they wanted something bigger now that there were more children.  Fujiko was resting on the couch watching Lotus take care of the cats.  Jigen was doing a crossword with their cat on his lap to help.  Lupin was in charge of letting the fences take the other stuff out of there.  That would clean out most everything.  He was also guarding Xander's kimono collection because one of them had been asked if he was getting rid of certain pieces but Xander was being firm about keeping them all.  Xander had moved all his collections to a specially guarded warehouse in Europe with Murami's support and it was quite safe there.  With a few notable exceptions, one of which he had worn to look at the new house.  The fences finally left after giving him lists and the doors were shut.  The warehouse was practically empty.  He turned and found Zenigata behind him.  "I knew we should have taken it from you," he said dryly.

"Thieves yard sale?"

"More or less.  Xander's excess collections.  Minus his kimonos, porn, anime, comics, and jewelry.  Why?"

"Anything in there that can be proven to be from here?"

"No, we got rid of all that stuff recently.  Why?"

"Because I have a warrant and I have no desire to be killed today."  He presented it.  "I'm supposed to be looking for loose gems."  Lupin sighed and shook his head.  "Certain ones."

"They came from then, Pops.  Even if they're the same, they're duplicates."

"I know, but still.  Where are they?  So I can leave quicker.  Morgan's outside flirting with Lotus again."

"He's five."

"He is, but an older woman will do him some good."  He sighed and looked around, heading for the trunks in Xander's section.  He found the trunk with the jewels and gasped, looking stunned.  He finally rubbed his chest a bit and moaned.  "I don't think I can do this."

"Xander's a collector," Lupin agreed.  He looked at the ashen man and grabbed his cellphone, using the address on the warrant for the dispatcher.  "This is 22 Old Heron Way.  We have a cop in here having a heart attack.  Yes, I'm quite sure.  He saw my husband's collection and went pale, grabbed his chest, and moaned in pain.  He's still doing it."  He hung up and came over to help the older man.  "Jigen!"  Jigen came jogging in with the cat on his hat.  "Cute.  He's having a heart attack.  Clear the kids out of harm's way.  Keep the cats inside.  Lock this thing again."  He got the man out to the couch and settled in while they waited.  "Don't die on Dawn, all right?"

"Never crossed my mind," he admitted with a wince.  "Damn, those hurt.  I forgot how badly they hurt."

"Next time, remember your medicine," Fujiko said bitterly.  "What happened?"

He handed over the warrant.  "He's looking for those."

She went to look, coming up with four of them.  Then she came out to present them.  "However you want."

"I don't want," he moaned.  "I don't want to die when Lavelle kills me."

She took them back and ripped up the warrant.  "That's fine then," she said happily.  "Retire soon, Pops.  We don't want you to die."  She winked and carried the things off to look at them with the kids.  She was doing lessons in gem evaluation.

Lupin got the door, letting them come in.  He kept two cats from running outside by tossing them into the kitchen and closing the door, then went to help them by giving the people Pop's gun and badge.  They hurried him out.  "It's his second or third one," he called after them.

"And you caused the other two," Zenigata called back.  The door slammed shut.

Lupin looked around.  "We need a better hideout now."  He went to talk to his people online, maybe they'd have an idea.  He was out of them at the moment.  The suggestion of an abandoned castle in the desert got soundly turned down.  They did not want Fujiko to deliver away from a hospital.

***

Xander answered the door later that night when more cops showed up.  "Yes?" he said, lounging in their way.

"Sir, there was a warrant presented earlier to search for some gems that are missing."

"There was a search earlier?  Jigen, was there a search warrant earlier?"

"I don't know," he called from the kitchen.  "Lupin?"

Lupin came out of the back, wet from bath times.  "What?"

"They said there was a warrant earlier and a search?"

"I think Fujiko had a mood swing on it," he said apologetically.  "Zenigata didn't find what he was looking for before he had his heart attack."

"We still have to search, gentlemen."  One of the cops tried to move inside.  "Sir, a warrant was presented."

"Not to me, who is the owner.  Giving a warrant to a pregnant woman is really dumb."

"She picked it up off the coffeetable," Lupin admitted.  "Let 'em in.  It'll only make 'em cranky otherwise.  Can we hurry this up, I'm doing bath time tonight."  The cop gave him stereo horrified looks.  "Yes, I do like my children, thank you.  Hurry up."  He went back to the bathroom, letting Jigen handle this.  He had more patience at the moment.  "Hey, what did I tell you about trying to drown Sarah, Fred!"  Xander moaned.  "She's fine, just bubble covered," he called to the worried parent.

"Hurting her means you get to spend your whole life alone, Fred," Jigen called.  Xander looked at him. "Twins are often closer than marriage."

"True," Xander agreed, following the cops into the warehouse to watch them look through the rest of the stored stuff.  "That door's not ours," he said when someone tried to go through it.  "That's where your original warrant went bad."

They groaned and dug through things, being careful not to destroy anything.  Their boss had said to do this one by the book.  Otherwise their lives would be forfeit to Lavelle and the rest of his gang.  They found some jewels but nothing matched their warrant in size and description.  One was held up so they could compare it.  "That's a ruby?"

"It is," Xander agreed.  "It's from a weak vein in India.  It's fairly precious but I bought it last year as a present for the kids."

"Oh."  They put it back and the trunk was closed once everything was back in there.  "Thank you, sir."

"The warrant is still good for another two days, sir," the other cop reminded him.

"That's fine.  We'll be here taking care of the kids who have the flu and the pregnant woman."  One of the younger twins ran out and shouted 'boo' at the men, making them jump, then she cackled.  "Sarah," he said fondly, picking her up to hug her.  "That was very good.  Nice job, daughter."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Shouldn't you be wearing clothes?"

"Fur!" she said happily.

"No, you don't need fur.  You have body hair for that."  He put her down and patted her on the butt.  "Clothes, no fur.  Now please."  She ran off to do that for him, still smiling.  "As you can see, it's never dull."

"Oh."  The cops nodded in unison then walked through the group heading in to eat dinner.  One of the girls looked at him and glared, so they walked faster.  They had been briefed on which child was which of the older ones.

Arsene looked at her father and smiled.  "Daddy, we need to go back to Disney since we didn't get to do that here.  I'll do better this time and won't get caught shoplifting."

"I'd appreciate that," Lupin agreed.  "We'll see, kids."  They cheered and he grinned at the cops.  "They're such mini-uses some days."

The cops nodded and got out of there.  That was scary.  Those children were unnatural and the fathers were happy to be raising such little criminals.  One of the girls opened the door and caught the cat that had escaped with them, grinning at them. "You know, two of us are going to be good cops," she told him.  "I'm going to working in a Crime Scene unit when I grow up and my sister's going to be in Interpol."  She wiggled her fingers and closed the doors.  The cops looked at each other and decided to call the Commissioner to warn him what they had seen.  A miniature Lavelle or his gang in Interpol would warp the system horribly.  Now they knew why Lupin had decided to let someone else take over his gang.  Lavelle was scary and had them wrapped around his fingers.

***

Jigen opened up the paper the next morning, looking at the 'Ten Most Wanted Get a New Name' article.  He groaned and folded the paper.  Then he looked at Lupin.  "When did we get a name change?" he asked conversationally.  Lupin looked confused, pouring himself some more coffee before taking the paper to read.  Jigen counted down until Lupin spluttered his coffee out his nose.  He handed over a napkin.  "Not that I mind, boss, but when did we change the name?"

"We haven't," Lupin said, glancing toward the bedrooms.  "Xander!"

"Coming!"  He walked out, taking the held-out paper.  Then his mouth opened and he let out a whining noise before grabbing the phone and sitting on the couch, holding his head as he dialed.  "Put on the Commissioner.  It's Lavelle, bitch, put me on with him before I have a fucking heart attack of my own.  I haven't even got to have coffee yet this morning. Thank you."  He accepted Lupin's coffee with a weak smile. "I didn't ask for this."  The other end of the phone had a deep male voice come across it.  "Listen, fuckwit.  I did not take over Lupin's gang.  I work for Lupin, not the other way around.  Lupin is still in charge of his happy little family and I do not run a syndicate.  You're going to get me picked on by the other thieves and hitters!  You need to fix this shit!  I refuse to be picked on because you decided I'm scarier!  I might be, but I still work for Lupin!  I work for him so he doesn't have to be as scary and he can be brilliant again!  Yes, it's me," he snapped, his eyes narrowing.  "Your article was insulting and horrifying.  I'll have nightmares because you named me the head of our gang and us a syndicate.  Do you think we keep an office and run part of the world from it? If I did, there'd be a lot of changes going on.  There'd be no more child molesters in the world for one thing and all kids would have access to food.  Trust me, I do not run a syndicate.  I work for Lupin.  I like working for Lupin and you're going to get me picked on by my lovers for this.  Do you think I care that I'm the scary one?  Shit, man, I'm more scared of Goemon than Jigen but that doesn't mean he runs the gang, and we're still a gang, thank you, not a syndicate.  We don't need that sort of stress, we have children for that."  He hung up and 'eeped' when someone hugged him.

"It's okay, Auntie, we still love you," Ishi promised, giving him a squeeze.

"Thanks, Ishi, I love you guys too."  He pulled him into his lap to cuddle.  "You're a great kid and just as comforting as your daddy.  Here, take the paper in there so he's warned if I suddenly start to rant again."  Ishi grinned and went to surprise his father again.  Xander looked at his lovers, who had a serious look on their faces.  "I didn't ask for that. Like some convention memories, I certainly didn't ask for that or want that.  I don't run the gang, I know I don't.  I refuse to run things like that.  You guys know me better than that."  Jigen cracked and started to laugh.  "Asshole."  He threw a pillow at them then stretched out on the couch.  "I left Alex and Kenji on our bed."  Lupin went to help the kids off the bed before they suffocated in the bedding.  Both babies cooed as he carried them out.  "Hey, guys.  Your mommy got a bad shock today," he cooed as he took them to hold. "Hug the mommy, babies, we need it."  They cooed and baby babbled at him, happy to be loved and held.

"The mommy?" Fujiko said dryly as she walked out.

"I was for one of them and the stand-in for the other," Xander pointed out.  "I don't mind. I love the kids.  They make me happy and calm."

"I can tell by the way you're vibrating," Fujiko said dryly, taking her son.  "Come on, Kenji.  Let's go back to bed with the father."  Kenji kicked and babbled at her, but she carried him held away from her body until Goemon took him.  "Xander calls himself the mommy."

"She was," he agreed.  "She filled in a great number of times and is the acknowledged mother of the rest of the horde.  Lotus and Ishi occasionally call her such as well."  He cuddled his youngest son, patting him gently until he belched.  "That was loud," he said, patting him some more. "Have more in there?"  Kenji latched onto his nose and tried to suckle.  "That's not a nipple, son.  I know it sticks out but it's not a nipple."

Fujiko backed away from them.  "I'm not breastfeeding.  I refuse!"  She ran away before he got any ideas.  "He wants me to odd and sickening things."

Xander raised his head.  "Breastfeeding makes you feel really close to the baby and it makes them feel loved and wanted. It's not strange or odd, Fujiko.  I enjoyed doing it."

"Then you put back on that choker and go right ahead," she suggested hotly.  "You can even have Kenji, because I'm not doing that with any of mine."

"So you won't give them strong immune systems, give them love and care, or make them feel comforted and loved?" Jigen asked.  "Does Goemon know this?"

"Unless you're going to tie me down, I don't care," she said, spinning to look at him.  "I'm not stretching my body out any farther than it already is.  It's bad enough I'll have to have a tummy tuck to get rid of my stomach."

"Simple exercise fixes most of that," Xander said patiently.  "You always slimmed down before within weeks."  She glared at him.  "You did. We have pictures in the warehouse if you wanted to see."

"No, thank you," she said icily.  She stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Auntie, I have to use it," Sierra whined.

"Go use mine, guys," Xander called.  "She needs a few minutes alone."  They nodded, going to use their bathroom.  "I guess I could but I'm not sure if I'm lactating or not."

"You've been lactating now for three years, Xan, we weren't sure you'd ever stop," Jigen offered.

Xander thought about it then nodded.  "Just for this.  Not for sex."  Lupin nodded, going to retrieve his choker for him.  When it came out in Goemon's hands, he took it and put it on himself, becoming Sylvia.  "Hey, Kenji."  She scratched her nipple. "Yeah, I'm still going.  Here, latch on, little guy.  Goemon, can you get Alex too?  I feel so full I could breastfeed them all."  She rolled onto her side, letting the baby latch on that way.  It was a bit more comfy for both of them.  Kenji cooed and kicked a bit but settled in to happily suck his breakfast down.  "I know, I taste much better than that formula nastiness we've been giving you."

He pulled off to breathe and dove back in again, making the adults watching laugh.  He didn't care, he was having a great meal.  When he started to get sleepy, he was pulled away and allowed to suck on his father's finger until he drifted off, then his buddy was put onto the other nipple and allowed to eat too.  That was a great mommy.

Fujiko came out, looking disgusted as they watched.  "Do you have to do that in plain sight?  Won't that warp the kids?"

"No," Xander laughed.  "Why would it?  People did it this way for centuries.  It's only been in the last fifty years that there's been formula.  Besides, it's better for them and the kids all know they did the same thing.  Ishi sometimes scowls at me for it but he usually relents after a moment when he realizes that it's good for the babies to eat milk instead of formula."

"Whatever," she said, shuddering with disgust.  "I'll let you do ...that.  You can do mine if you want."  She wandered off to be repulsed in private.  "Ishi?"  He walked into her room.  "Do you kids really watch her do that?"

"At first it took a few days to get used to it, then she milked a few drops out for us to taste.  The girls got this goofy grin, apparently they remembered it.  I decided it was what was right and natural so it was good enough for my baby brother when you...left us."  He smiled at his father as he walked in with Kenji.  "Is he happier now?"

"Much.  Xander is very generous to do that for him.  Do you watch?"

"No.  The sight of breasts does nothing for me yet, Father.  I'm not that far into puberty yet."

"That's fine.  When you are, we will talk some more.  I know you are smart enough not to stare at your aunt while she feeds the babies."

"Yes, father.  It is a natural function, not something worthy of scrutiny.  Am I learning anything new today?"

"Yes, son, I was going to start you on some basics of swordplay today.  Warm up and do the normal katas you do each morning and then we will work together before lunch."  His son hugged him and hurried off to do that.  "You gave me the son I had already dreamed of," he said, kissing her gently.  "Thank you, Fujiko.  He is as much of a delight to me as you are as my wife."  He kissed her again and laid there to hold his youngest son.

"Why can't I have kids like me?" she asked.

Goemon looked at her.  "If you want to have another daughter after this one, we can," he offered.  "Lotus is already very focused on the life and training she must lead.  Though, if you looked, I believe that Arsene is quite a lot like you."

"No, she's not.  She's like Xander!"

"That is reasonable, he raised her," Goemon said gently.  He wanted to diffuse this temper tantrum before it got worse and she upset herself and the baby.  "You have a lot of influence in their lives and the girls do look to you for things, like clothing advice."

"Which Lupin does for them," she said bitterly.  "He dresses them better than I could."

"Lupin has studied women for many years," Goemon said dryly, smirking at her.  "He would know what women look good in."

"Point," she said miserably.  "I feel like I'm useless here, Goemon, and you're not helping."

"The cure to that is to help in their upbringing.  You haven't changed a diaper yet.  You haven't helped feed any of them.  The older ones have learned from you but you felt detached from them.  The rest of us are like one large family and you have not allowed yourself to be included or to help them.  If you would, I'm sure you'd find much more purpose in having a child."

"I'm one of those mothers who's really happy that nannies were invented," she reminded him.

"Then it is your own fault when you feel cut off from your children.  If they don't get to know you then they won't come to you for things.  How would they know what you could help them with?" he asked reasonably.  She groaned and he stroked her stomach.  "It's fine, Fujiko.  I'm sure this is part of the pregnancy. Some mothers nest, you want to line your nest with pretty things."

"I am not cleaning anything," she said firmly.

"We all do some chores," Lupin said from the doorway.  "He awake?  Xan said she's got a bit left if he wanted to finish it off for her.  If not, we're taking her into the bedroom and helping her clean up."

Goemon handed over his son.  "He probably could use it.  Thank her for me."

"Not an issue, Goemon.  You know we love you enough to trust you with what's ours. Just like we did in Geneva."

Goemon caught the clue Lupin was offering and nodded.  "Let me know what my duties today will be.  I've got lessons planned with Ishi.  He'll be starting swordplay today."

"Congrats, man.  We should mark this day with a present," Lupin said happily.  "It's a big step forward in his training."  He carried Kenji out.  "Here's the kitten."

Lotus looked over. "The kitties not eat from the mommy, Uncle," she scolded, scowling at him. "That wouldn't be right."

"Sweetheart, Morris was a cat on the 9-Lives commercials for ages," Xander explained.

"Oh."  She grinned.  "Sorry, Uncle."

"No, you're right, the real cats shouldn't try to drink off her," he agreed, patting her on the head.  "Go easy on your mom today, okay?  She's feeling pitiful again."

"Sure, Uncle.  Will she mind me calling the Auntie mommy?"

"She might," he admitted.  "You might want to explain that to her.  I don't know, pregnant women are often funny that way, Lotus.  Now, have you checked over the plants today?"  She shook her head.  "Why don't you do that while your brother hogs your father all morning then you can have him this afternoon."  She nodded, getting up to do that, brining her can of soda with her.  "Good girl, Lotus, I knew we could count on you."  He smiled at Goemon as he came out.  "I've freed all morning for you to work with Ishi.  You'll have her this afternoon."

"Thank you," Goemon agreed. "Did she just call Xander the Mother?"  Lupin nodded.  "Fujiko heard," he groaned.  "I'll keep her in our room today.  You try to shield Lotus."  He went back to tuck Fujiko in, then went to work with his son.  "Be careful of your mother's feelings, son.  She is quite upset because she heard Lotus calling Xander the mother."

"It happens, Father.  She was the mother that we went to.  We've always thought of her as a second mother. Our mother is great, but she's not the one you go to when you have a skinned knee or a bruise."

"She did not have a mother that was that involved," Goemon offered.

"Neither did Xander and he manages most of the time to make it seem like there's no need for a father at all."

"Yes, but your Aunt Xander had the desire to be a parent, it has been something she wanted her whole life, Ishi.  She dreamed of it and longed for children of her own.  I knew it was my duty but I wasn't that anxious to have one until you came to be.  Then I found all manner of things that I wanted to share with you and to teach you.   Xander was the one who bought the baby magazines and I took them from her," he admitted.

"Then Lotus came and Mommy was really overwhelmed and the Auntie stepped in to help even more," Ishi agreed.  "There are days when I wish Mother had wanted to be more of a part of our lives, Father, but I'm happy with how I was raised.   I never lacked for attention.  I never lacked for love.  I also never lacked for food, clothes, or housing.  You and the other uncles have been wonderful in helping raise us.  You've all taught us things, but I don't believe I've learned much from her."

"Then you should do your meditation on that today, son.  Sometimes you learn by example, sometimes by lack of example.  She has always been the more delicate woman around you.  You would not know how to treat Bix if you hadn't been trained that way by your mother."

"While that might be true, my body still yearns for her, father," he sighed.

"I know, son, and we will continue to work on that urge until you can control it as I have until my marriage."

"Yes, Father.  Do I really get to learn how to work with your sword today?"

"Today we will learn with practice blades but I will let you hold it and teach you how to clean it, son," he said fondly.  "You will not get my sword until I retire."  Ishi nodded, that made sense.  "Then let us work on the first thing.  Finding a practice blade is most important.  Especially when your balance will soon be off due to growth spurts."

***

Fujiko walked out and sat across from Xander at the table.  "I hate you."

"Why?" Xander asked tolerantly.

"Because you took my place.  Because you did all the things I wanted to do with my kids.  You're always *there*, like some leech.  Can't you play with your own."

"Fujiko, of course I was there.  You weren't there.  I'm part of the group and I've been there the whole time.  The same as I stepped in when you were too tired because you were carrying Lotus and took care of Ishi because Goemon was working.  The same as I took care of Lotus while you were recovering from the birth.  Nothing stopped you from asking to do some of the diaper changing and feeding."

"Did you breastfeed them too?" she asked bitterly.

"How could I have, Fujiko?  Think about it, I didn't have the twins until after Lotus was ten months old.  By then she was weaned off you.  You breastfed Lotus all by yourself."

"Because you could never find any formula."

"Sure, blame me because none of the shops around the station had any," Xander said sarcastically.   He stood up.  "Think about it, Fujiko, even when I was in male form I did more of it because you weren't there.  There's no blame on me for stepping in when no one else was around.  I'm sorry if it bothers you, but it bugged the shit out of me to be considered your nanny when I gave more of a damn about those kids than you did."  He walked away to do something calming.

"Xander," Lupin said, pulling him into the office.

"I know, I shouldn't have yelled at her."

"Well, no, but putting it that way depresses her further, Xander.  She's still confused about all this.  She doesn't understand."

Xander looked at him and shook his head.  "She's acting the same way she was before she died.  Exactly the same way, Lupin.  Like her life is running out and she's being bothered by being a mother.  I've never minded being the stand-in mother, we both know that, but I'm not their nanny and she's still treating me like the hired help.  I helped because I wanted to, not because I had to or because I got paid to."  He walked out, putting on his choker and an outfit, then heading out to take a long walk.  He needed some fresh air.  Being female was good enough cover for him.

"How dare she get upset that I wasn't able to change diapers," Fujiko said shrilly.  "It's not my job!"

"You're their mother," Jigen pointed out.  "Even my mom changed diapers sometimes."  Fujiko glared at him.  "Seriously.  Xander didn't have to help.  We could have made you do it.  We could have left you alone with those kids and taken Goemon to do jobs.  We didn't because we liked the kids and Goemon.  Lupin thought for sure that you'd be able to deal with it, that you'd suddenly change and become a good mother.  Instead, Xander became an excellent mother to Ishi and Lotus long before we had the twins.  They were pieces of cake compared to your two."  She stomped off crying.  "If the truth hurts, then you're looking at the world funny," he called after her.

"Jigen!" Lupin shouted.  "Enough!  She doesn't need it."

"And Xander did?"

"No," Lupin said calmly.  "Xander didn't.  Where is he?"

"He went out in the choker."

"Fuck me," Lupin sighed, looking up.  "Why me?  Goemon?"  Goemon came out of the practice room.  "Your wife laid into Xander for being the mother when she wasn't there.   Xander and Jigen both pointed out how often they had to step in.  Xander ran off for a few minutes privacy and your wife is in tears."

"I'll help Fujiko," he agreed, looking back at his son.  "Stay in here and do those moves until they feel natural."  He headed into his bedroom, finding his wife curled up in the bed.  "Are you all right?"

"Why aren't you off chasing her?"

"Because I'm not married to her.  If I had wanted her, I wouldn't have married you."  Fujiko frowned at him.  "I would have felt that there was someone better.  I didn't.  I married you because you fit me."  He sat beside her.  "The fact that you have not been the best and most attentive mother is something you can change if you wish.  This is about the choices you have made that now you regret.  Of course the children call her mother, she filled in when we weren't there.  And now you've made her feel miserable for being a caring and generous soul who has taken in all of us when we needed it.  She could have brushed us all off since they weren't her children and then where would our children be?  Probably living with foster parents because I wasn't there during some of the times when you needed me most and you weren't able or willing to take care of them yourself."  He raised her chin when she looked away from him.  "None of that, Fujiko.  We are lucky to have her help.  She comforted the children and me when you died.  Even though she was so ill she should have been in the hospital or at least in bed, she took care of me and our children, plus her men and her children.  She didn't have to.  She did it because it felt right to her."  He wrapped her in his arms.  "If you regret your decisions then do not make the same ones the next time you're faced with something.  We have one last chance."  He stroked her stomach.  "I see nothing wrong with taking care of the baby if you're not willing.  Xander, Marcus, Bix, and I have worked out arrangements so we can do everything necessary."

"She needs to go, Goemon."

"Which she?"

"Both of them.  You're not married to them."

"No, we hired Bix.  She is our nanny and my distant cousin.  Our son is also fascinated with her."

"Even more reason," she said firmly.

"She's fifteen, Fujiko.  She is safe for him to think about.  He understands this and it is showing him where he needs to work on his control.  Or else he'll probably turn into the slut that Xander can be on occasion.  Though he is admirable and never does so in front of the children."  He shrugged.  "Xander is his own person.  One that is worthy of admiration.  Bix is the same.  She is very well trained and is very skilled as the nanny.  She served the kitsune and broke our daughter out of her habit of pouting."  She shook her head.  "You've seen it returning?"

"At Bix."

"That was playing, Fujiko.  I'm sorry if you never got to do that.  Our children do and I adore it that they do.  Children should be fun and light hearted.  Even our son, who has had to kill to defend his sisters, is still a child in many ways and I'm thankful that we've done so well with him that he can see that it was bad, yet necessary, and not let it scar him the way it does some."  He nearly added that he had never seen Xander that enraged before or seen her go off on someone's organization and pick it apart person by person until they were all begging for mercy and clamoring to kill their boss for her.  He shuddered at how they had done it, ripping chunks off him until he died. "If you want to bond with the children, show them what you do."

"I shop, Goemon.  That's all I do anymore."

"No one said you couldn't work," he pointed out.  "At least once you've delivered you can.  All of us were going to go on jobs together as soon as this was over with.  Lupin wanted to hog Xander for a bit so he could see what he does on his own.  Marcus and I were going to take a trip to the assassin's academy to look it over for the son's future education.  Lotus will never make a good enough one but the training will prevent her from being harmed."

"The girl doesn't like eating meat."

"She is a tender and generous soul who can feel the pain the meat went through before it died.  I do not blame her for that and neither should you.  She is what she is, Fujiko, and we cannot change her.  We can only give her skills she'll need to survive and teach her what every child needs to know, no matter how special she is."

"Fine," she sighed, backing away from him.  "I'll take Lotus shopping and we'll find Ishi some clothes too."

"Our son is growing," Goemon agreed, smiling at her.  "He could use some new clothes.  Take him this afternoon and then her tomorrow.  I was going to work with her this afternoon anyway."

Ishi pushed the door open.  "Forgive me for eavesdropping, parents, but I do need more gis as well, Father."  Goemon nodded.  "Thank you.  Am I going with you to the assassin's academy?"  Goemon nodded again, smirking at him.  "Thank you, Father.  Mother, where shall I escort you today?" he asked stiffly.

"The mall probably.  Kids your size get more there than the fancier places."

"That's fine.  Perhaps you could explain some womanly things I've wondered about?"  She nodded.  "Thank you.  I have no idea why some women go odd each month."  He rolled his eyes.  "I hope the sister doesn't."  He nodded at his father.  "Are we done?"

"No, I'll be back there in a moment."

"It's nearly lunch, Dad," he whined.

"That's fine, we'll take up with everything tomorrow.  Put up all the equipment after checking it and bring me my sword.  We'll clean it tonight."  Ishi nodded, handing it over carefully. "Thank you, son.  Good job today."

"Thanks, daddy."  He grinned and skipped out to eat.  "Food, Uncle Jigen?" he asked plaintively.

"Yeah, you're about to the age where you'll be a bottomless pit," he agreed, ruffling the boy's hair.  "Have fun?"

"It's not fun, it's training," he corrected, "but I did like learning it.  Father is amazing with his sword."  He sat down, watching as Jigen made sandwiches.  "Can I have three?"

"You can have two and if you want another, you can make it and eat it all," Jigen told him.   Ishi grinned at him.  "Lotus, lunch, sweetheart."  She and the others came running with Fred and Sarah coming out on Arsene and Melissa's backs.  He noticed Sierra and Savannah looked pissed and sighed. "Okay, this afternoon.  Arsene and Melissa, you two have lessons with whichever of Lupin and I are around.  Lotus, you've got your dad.  Ishi, you've got your mom and shopping."  Arsene let out a whine.  "Quit, now," he warned.  "Sierra and Savannah, whichever of Lupin or I are here will take you out for a stroll and some shopping.  Then we'll switch tomorrow."  Fred gave him a look.  "You and your sister will be with Bix.  Got it?"  Everyone nodded, digging into the plate of sandwiches.  "Bix?"  She came out of her room, looking like she had been crying.  "You okay?" he asked quietly.  She nodded.  "Good.  Can you handle the toddlers and younger?"

"Of course, Jigen."  She gave him a hug.  "Thank you for standing up for me," she whispered.

"We like you, Bix.  We've liked you since we met you.  A lot more than some others."  He pinched her cheek. "Dig in, little person."  He swatted her on the back.  "Lupin?"  Lupin came out of the office.  "Do you want shopping with the good girls or lessons with the bad guys?"

"I'll take lessons with the bad guys, you get shopping and see if you can find Xander while you're out."  He looked at Bix, then pinched her on the arm.  "You're staying," he said firmly.  "You're the only person around here who's brave enough to take the babies away from Xander."  She gave him gentle smile.  "Good."

"Was there some doubt of her staying?" Ishi asked calmly.  Lupin looked down at him and he knew what they were talking about.  "I'll be right back," he said quietly, walking into his parents room and locking the door once he had it closed.  "Mother, leave Bix alone."  She gave him a hurt look.  "I know she'll never be mine but she is protecting us even as we protect her.  She is also here to train Sarah in her future duties as an envoy.  Picking on a sheltered young woman such as her is not right or proper.  I will not allow it."

"You won't allow it?" she snorted, giving her son an incredulous look.  "Last time I knew I was the parent."

"No, mother, you bore me.  You handed me off as soon as I was out of your body.  You've done it many times.  I might love you because you are my mother but I will not allow you to harm Bix for being a caring soul.  The same as I will not let you harm Xander for it either.  It's amazing, mother, but they know what my weak spots in my education are.  You haven't even made sure I did my studies since we appeared.  You also don't come to watch us train.  You try to talk about things that you think we might enjoy.  There for a while, I thought the kitsune matchmakers had sent Bix down to soothe father's grief, but then I realized we were related somehow.  It's the nose, we all have the same one."  He rubbed his own.  "She isn't here to take over your place with us and she could easily refuse to take care of Morris.  You made her cry and I find that unforgivable.  She is gentle, tender, and was very sheltered.  She grew up like father did.  Uncle Xander and Uncle Lupin are even now trying to find someone good enough for her to date.  Do not bother her before *I* have to get upset, mother.  As Father does, I will put people under my protection and I have taken every lesson I could from Arsene and her father, plus Uncle Xander."  He stepped closer, ignoring his father in the bathroom.  "Where were you when I had to kill, mother?  You were alive."  She looked stunned.  "It was obvious they were hiding something from us.  Fortunately I've also learned how to hack into Uncle Lupin's chatroom and ask questions.  You abandoned us.  You nearly let your last son die because you hated us so much."

"I don't," Fujiko assured him calmly.

"Mother, you never loved me.  I was a sign that you were a good wife.  I was a sign of pride when I learned to walk so early.  If you loved me, you'd care that I've learned things far beyond what Father thinks."

"That too shall be rectified, son."  He came out of the bathroom, looking down at his son.  "Your feelings are valid, but this was not the time to air them," he said firmly.  "No matter that Bix was crying.  I like her as well, I find her an interesting person to talk to and an excellent caregiver for you, plus a very good representative of the other side of the family."  His son grimaced.  "Son, I love her like an odd little sister.  I would never allow your mother to send her away."

"Thank you, Father.  I think that's how I feel, but like she's a distant cousin.  I don't know, I'm messed up."

Goemon gave him a hug.  "I understand, son.  Many things are odd.  Even your Uncle Xander is having trouble dealing with it.  For now, we will live in the moment and let things happens as they may.  Has he returned?"

"No, not yet.  Uncle Jigen is taking the two good girls out shopping and the rest of them tomorrow.  He's been charged with finding her before something bad happens."

"Very well," he agreed.  "Go eat, son.  You will be showing me tomorrow exactly what you can do."  Ishi swallowed. "Like your Uncle Xander, hiding things from me wastes your energy and both our times."

"I learned but I didn't learn it the right way, Father."

"We can correct that as we go along.  Tomorrow morning, son, and expect to show it all."  Ishi nodded and left, going back to his lunch.  He looked at Fujiko, who was on her knees, mouth open in shock.  "He feels how he feels, it is neither wrong or right," he said gently, helping her to her feet.  "Come, we should feed you both."

"No."  She pulled away from him.  "I'm not a baby factory to be used, Goemon."

"I never considered you such," he assured her, looking down at her, looking quite confused.  "I wish to take care of you, Fujiko.  Do you not want that?"

"No!  Not if your kids are going to snap at me for not being Xander!"

"Fujiko, you can not hope to be Xander.  You are not a gunman," Goemon pointed out tiredly.  "Perhaps we should move out on our own for a bit."  He went out to lunch. "If you do not come out, I will bring you a plate," he promised.  She shrieked and he winced.  He looked at Lupin. "It was pointed out to her that she was negligent in her treatment of her children, she's feeling upset with herself and taking it out on us?"  Lupin nodded.  "Why?"

"Because being mad at herself means she has to admit she's wrong," Jigen told him.  "Some people can't do that."

"Of course," Goemon agreed.  "Still.  She did as well as she could."  Fujiko screamed again and he winced.  "You did try," he called.

"I hate you, I want a divorce!"

"I do not believe in that institution," Goemon called back.   "You knew that when you married me."  He looked at the more experienced men.  "Am I being unreasonable?"

"No," Lupin said, shrugging.  "She's being unreasonable.  She's having a plastic moment.  The world is supposed to be plastic and mold itself to her will."  He ate a bite of his sandwich, then handed the spare one to Ishi, who was looking at the other girls.  "They're not helpless, they can wield a knife and make sandwiches."  The girls who were still hungry got up and made some more, including Lotus, who still had half hers, just in case.  "She's always taken these moments, Goemon.  Usually right before a job blows up in her face."  He ate another bite, then looked at Jigen.  "I'm feeling odd without Xander being here."

"She's fine.  She's able to protect herself," Jigen pointed out.  "Where is Marcus?"

"Helping Dawn or Ethan," Goemon told him.  "He told me so last night."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed.  "We'll work on it, Goemon.   Even if we do have to lock her in a padded room."  He watched as Lotus went to check on her mother, shoving Fujiko out her door and locking it behind her.  "Very nicely done, Lotus.  You've been studying your lockpicking quite well."  Lotus beamed at him and Fujiko scowled.  "We started the last summer in their timeline.  Everyone got range lessons with a gun, a bow, a crossbow, and throwing knives.  They all got lockpicking lessons, and they all started on self-defense lessons.  Bix has been running those when Goemon's been busy."  He finished off his sandwich and stood up.  "Here, you can have my seat so you can sit next to your husband."

"You love rubbing that in my face, don't you?" she sneered.

"Your bad mood is not reason enough to do this in front of the children," Jigen warned.

"Like you weren't involved in the conspiracy?"

Jigen stood up and slapped her, looking down at her where she hit the floor.  "Little girl, you're not allowed to have fights in front of *my* children.  If you want to snap at people, become a lobster."  He sat down again, looking at Goemon.  "Sorry, man, I couldn't hold it in any more.  The kids are being hurt by it."

Goemon nodded.  "I know.  I wish you hadn't hit her."

"Hey, I wish she'd grow up.  That about makes it even," Jigen pointed out.  Goemon slumped and looked down at his wife, then back at him.  "You can hit me if it makes you feel better," he said quietly.  Goemon looked at him then punched him.  Jigen held his nose, stopping the bleeding.  "Better?"

"Thank you."  Goemon looked at Lupin.  "Perhaps we should find our own place for a bit."

"No, Father, I'm not leaving the other girls," Lotus told him.  She gave him a pleading look.  "Please, daddy?"

"Daughter, some time away from them may help you."

"Father, I saved them, they're my sisters.  I'm not leaving my sisters."  Fujiko burst out in tears and ran back to their room, then into Lupin's room when she couldn't get her door open.  "I'm sorry, Father, but I'm not leaving them.  We need each other now more than ever.  Bad things are going to come soon.  If people think Uncle Xander runs things then they'll try him."

Lupin groaned, shaking his head.  "We've warned everyone, Lotus.  They're not coming."

"If they weren't, the police wouldn't be coming, Uncle Lupin.  They're not scared."

"We can fix that," Ishi offered.

"No, son," Goemon said firmly.  "Call her, Lupin."  He stared his daughter down.  "Even if people came for us, we would protect you."

"Of course you would," she agreed calmly, "the same as we would protect ourselves.  We don't want to have to though."

"Lupin, we need a hacker, this is ridiculous," Jigen agreed.  "As much as I hate to agree that we're running."

Lupin nodded, dialing Xander's cellphone.  "Xan, come back, please? We're worried that you're not okay and you're making the kids paranoid."  He heard the quiet voice.  "No, Lotus thinks someone's going to test us after that article.  Thanks, babe.  Sure, meet Jigen at the shopping center in an hour or come back and we'll cuddle during the lessons."  He grinned as he hung up, then lost it and called the local Don.  "It's Lupin.  Yes, I saw it.  He doesn't run things, he still works for me.  No, she's the kids' mother," he said, looking at Jigen.  "Why?"  He groaned.  "Don, she's very well trained.  She can and will take them out.  Hurting her will bring our wrath down on you."  He nodded.  "Fair enough.  No, I was going to borrow a hacker or three.  If not, I can find one of my own."  He hung up and called one of his people.  "Pietre.  I need a hacker in Tokyo.  Yeah, the ICPO to fix that mess again.  No, Lavelle still works for me.  For some reason they think he's scarier than I am so he must be in charge.  It's faulty logic that most cops seem to have.  How long?"  He smirked.  "Excellent.  Yeah, please."  He hung up.  "Pietre will be fixing the records as soon as he's done chatting.  Someone tried Xander about an hour ago."  Everyone looked at him.  "They tried to attack her in the middle of the park.  She kicked their asses and broke a few of them before the cops came to rescue her.  She didn't say anything so I'm assuming she's fine."  He sat down until someone pounded on the door.  He got up and let Dawn in.  "What's wrong?"

"Major shit is coming down, Lupin.  You remember how Europe went flat?  It's happened sooner.  Someone else remembers.  Where's Xander?"

"Out taking a walk," he said quietly.  "She's fine."

"She might be, but she'll probably be noted as a relative of Lavelle's. They want you guys to run Europe."

"That's ridiculous."

"Lupin, you *tamed* Lavelle in their eyes.  Lavelle's went from a wild killing machine to a reasoning and excellent gunman who still happens to break out into badass sometimes.  Besides, you made my hubby retire.  Lavelle made the Commissioner go into hiding because he had pissed off Lavelle for making the mistake of thinking he was in charge instead of being your second, which we all know he's not," she added at Jigen's hurt look.  "Europe's turning into one big country called 'kaboom' and we're hating it, guys.  You need to step up and settle some stomachs and minds."  She waved at the kids.  "Hi, guys.  Zenny's fine.  He's retiring now."  She disappeared.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "You're still my second, buddy," he admitted with a grin.  "Arsene, let's go chat with the people in Europe.  You can bring your sandwich to the office."

"We have Mommy's laptop," she offered.

"Excellent, princess.  Let's do that."  He patted her on the head and kissed Sierra.  "Have fun shopping and protect the Mommy and other Daddy."  She nodded, giving him a very serious look.  He took his heir into the office with the laptop, logging it onto his chat room under his name.  He grinned at the frantic people who stopped chatting as soon as his name came up.  There was nothing going on in the chat room for a minute until someone asked if it was really him.  "Go ahead, Arsene."

Arsene typed into the computer, telling them it was her and her father, that they were reading and needed 'a quick synopsis of the situation'.   "How's that?"

"Very good.  Type in that we need to see your sister Demara too."  She typed that in for him.  "Good job."  He patted her on the back.  "Read with me, Princess.  You've got to know how to do this too."

"Okay.  This is much nicer than learning fashion tips."  She read, scanning quietly.  "Wasn't he the one who had us kidnaped?"

"Sure was."  He stroked her back while he read.  They had taken out all the higher level people but his.  He typed in a simple command.  "Take a deep breath" was enough for now.  He opened another chat window, logging onto one of the thieves' bulletin boards.  That one was humming with speculation.  He entered and his first sentence shut them up too.  "We only want peace, people, we have children.  Lavelle is a very involved daddy.  Even Jigen's upset with this one and Goemon's throwing a fit about this."  His daughter giggled when she read that, pinching him.  "He probably is inside his head," he assured her, grinning down at her.  He forwarded the details of the hit squads to his list and told them to capture or take out but to do it as safely as possible.  "I hate responsibility."

"But you handle us so beautifully, daddy," Arsene said with a bright smile.

"Yes, but you guys aren't at all like paperwork, dear."  He kissed her on the back of the head.  Then he did it again.  "Why do you smell like dirt?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"ETHAN!" he shouted.  Ethan came running, looking shocked.  "Something's not right with her.  She smells like earth.  She hates playing in the dirt.  Lotus said she had to bring a few back to life.  Was it her?"

"No," Lotus said from behind Ethan.  "It was Savannah and Fred, Uncle."  She walked in and looked at Arsene.  "We'll figure it out together.  We'll take her back to Britain so Uncle Ethan can help me.  Okay?"

"Sure, Lotus, thank you.  Thank you, Ethan."

"Not a problem.  This would destroy Xander," he pointed out.  He took the kids with him, all of them.  He went jogging up to his room, waking both Rippers.  "We've got a problem.  Someone's casting on Xander's children.  They're slowly being killed."  Both Rippers got up and came down to help him and Lotus.  Xander had suffered too much already.

***

Jigen paced until Xander came back, then hugged him.  "Someone tried to magic the kids.  Ethan's got 'em."

"I'll kill them," she said, getting free.  She took off the choker and handed it over. "Hold that for me."  He sent himself to Ethan's, leaving the dress back there. He called down some clothes and walked into the study, looking at Ethan and both Giles.  "Who?"

"One of the little brats you beat during the maze," the human Giles told him.  "We sent her attack back at her."

"Good," Xander purred.  "Ethan, love, an addy?"

Ethan wrote it out and held it out.  "Happy hunting.  I'll shield your children until you're done."  Xander nodded, heading to Paris to find something to wear.  Ethan moaned, holding his head.  "He's going to go evil on them, I know he is."

"He went from being a white knight to a black knight," the vampire Ripper noted.  "He's been tamed and tortured, yet he hasn't had to defeat an enemy like this yet.  Going evil is the least of your worries.  Returning him to normal may be."

"He'll return, all it will take is one of the children," the human Giles told him.  "He loves them more than his own life."  They all winced when they felt the magic start to pull things around.  "He went for physical magic."

"He went for destruction, Ripper," Ethan corrected.  "He's not pleased and there's going to be a few less people in the world for daring to touch his children."  He looked at the sleeping children.  "We need to shield and strengthen them.  The trip weakened what I had done there."  They got to work, not waking the tired children as they did each one.  By the time they were done, the children were linked to this world, were strong enough to withstand anything but a full assault, and seemed like they belonged here instead of seeming like they were visiting.

***

Lupin looked up as his chat room beeped, frowning when someone asked if they should knock out Lavelle before he destroyed half of Geneva.  He typed in 'no, they tried to hurt the children' and left it there.  A few more people expressed their fear of Lavelle's anger and he calmed them.  Then he called Xander's phone, getting Ethan.  "Where is he?"  The answer made his skin crawl.  "That's fine.  Can we stop him?"  He smirked.  "Thanks."  He hung up and waited while Xander's phone was relocated to his pocket by one of the Rippers. Then he called again, getting a calm-sounding Xander.  "Xan, you're scaring the normals, babe.  Leave some for the rest of us, okay?"  He grinned at the calm response.  "I know.  They deserve to be torn limb from limb."  Xander's correction of 'cell-by-cell' chilled him but he understood.  "Hey, agreeable," he said easily.  "But you've got to leave some for us.  Remember, Europe's going bad right now.  Do you really want to take over?"  That stopped the attack and Xander came back, curling up in his lap for a hug.

Lupin hung up both phones and cuddled him, rocking him gently.  "I know.  I'm that pissed too.  You were very calm, I'm proud of you, Xan.  I might have ripped up the entire continent if I had all the powers of Hell at my disposal."  Xander shuddered.  "I know, babe.  Now's the time for rebuilding.  We'll work on it together and then we'll be okay."  He soothed his lover, calming him down until he burst into tears.  "Hey, no one would hurt the kids.  Never again. I'm sure they're very sorry," he soothed, leaning back so Xander could be shifted around and hug him for real.  "I know, it sucks.  The people who did it are very sorry.  I know you did that enough and Jigen and I love you for it."  Xander shook his head.  "You're not a monster, Xan.  This was the right response from any good parent.  Even Fujiko would go off if someone had tried to hurt her kids."  He looked out as Jigen peeked in.  "He destroyed a good part of the city to get them."

"Good," Jigen agreed. "The kids are back.  They smell like chocolate and kid."  He pulled Xander up to hold him.  "It's all right, Xan.  You got enough for us.  Now we'll be following up to get those people into Hell if you didn't send them there already."  Xander shook his head.  "You did what you had to do, nothing more and nothing less.  No one will *ever* touch our kids again.  I swear they won't.  They'll be talking about this forever."

"I felt my humanity slip, Jigen."

"Sweetheart, I was here and I felt mine slip a while back," Lupin told him.  Xander looked at him.  "Really.  Now, why are your eyes red?"  Xander shrugged and concentrated, turning his real eye back to its natural color.  "Good job.  That was scary.  You looked like a bad photo."  Xander let out a little laugh.  "See, much better.  Come sit on me again and let me finish comforting you.  Jigen, do we want to take over Europe?"

"Hell no."

"We're down to Angelica, Misty, and Xander's friend Tornado.  Or one of the small groups."

"Let them rebuild," Jigen suggested.  "I'm still pissed enough to shoot them all.  Did you spare my condo?"  Xander nodded, giving him a pitiful look. "Then I'm happy, Xan, and we're all good."  He winked at him and looked at Lupin again.  "Let's let 'em figure it out themselves.  If we baby them it could happen to our kids."

"The kids?"

"Ethan and both Giles fixed them, they're now officially natives of this plane and linked into the power structure here.  Even Lotus," Marcus said as he appeared.  "Dear God, Xander, you create some pretty hell on earth."  He grinned and turned on the tv, listening as the reporter said something about a rare earthquake.  "Even the prattish, unholy relic that my father's become was impressed and scared.  Love, I'm impressed.  You scared the vampire Ripper."  Xander let out a tired and weak chuckle.  "Now, none of that.  You made it so your spell didn't hurt anyone who wasn't involved.  The rest deserved what they got from your hand and I'm about to finish some of them off."

"Leave it, Marcus," Lupin ordered quietly.  "Let the remaining ones live so they can say how bad it is."  The phone on the desk rang and he grabbed it before Jigen could.  "What?"  He listened to the other end, then snorted.  "Thanks for that, but we're not taking over.  We are working on that potion however."  He hung up.  "Interpol said that they can't get us, we have weapons they don't understand or have a counter to.   It's officially in recognition for stopping that carnage before it destroyed them as well."  He looked at Jigen and grinned.  "We have no more warrants in any Interpol country."

"That leaves a few," Jigen pointed out.  "Africa.  Pakistan.  The US."

"The US will probably want to hire us against their enemies," Marcus pointed out.  "Lupin, your daughter Demara appeared at Dawn's house this morning complaining about you being an idiot for not realizing she was in your hometown.  She'll be bringing her over later."

"I wasn't in Paris."

"And Dawn's quite happy with you about that," Marcus agreed with a grin.  "She did some cleanup on her own however.  Six hundred child molesters suddenly found a fear of God from what she said.  Her husband was quite impressed with her."  He reached over and patted Xander on the back, earning a growl from Lupin.  "Sorry.  I'll go watch the kids, shall I?"  He exited quickly, closing the door behind him.

"Calm down, he'll never take Xander from you," Jigen said bitterly.

"It's all up to you, Jigen," Lupin reminded him.  "It's your mind."  He looked at his chat room as someone suggested that Xander fund the people making anime battle armor and robots, typing in that they all were.  Lavelle was renovating some of his new properties and needed to liquidate some things.  Then he named the fences and their joint site.  Many people went to look from the counter on the bottom of it and one of the fences sent back a 'thank you for the advertising' message.  Tornado popped up a message that said the renovations on the London property were done if Xander would give up on the dream of marble everywhere.  She also noted it looked like some big, fancy toilet in a fancy hotel.  Lupin laughed and waved Jigen over to see it.

Xander looked at it, then snorted.  He typed in a message to send pictures.  A video file was downloaded and he looked it over, smiling at it.  "Fine," he agreed, typing in that word and to add the marble to the 'statue' room and the bottom floor's open area.  She typed back that it'd be done in days.  Then he asked her to have them make racks for kimonos.  That they could take some of the extra money to do that.  She sent back a question mark but apparently they understood.  A drawing popped up next.  He approved it and noted dimensions.  Tornado said they'd get right on it and he suggested they make about two hundred.  She sent back a sigh and a nod.  Then he switched to the other bulletin board, typing in a 'shut up' command under Lupin's name.  Everyone went quiet. He noted that he was him instead of Lupin, he was just too lazy to change screen names since the people who had tried to attack his children had given him a headache.  Someone let out an 'oh damn' and apologized immediately for not waiting until the end.  He excused them and went on to say that anyone who touched his children, Goemon's children, or any of the children they ever took care of, including Zenigata's kids, would get the same treatment, plus an extra hour of it.  Then he suggested that they start to police themselves.  People like them got others killed, as he had just proved.  He left, then put his head back down on Lupin's shoulder.

"Nice job, Xan," Lupin whispered, stroking him again. "Very well done."

"He tell 'em to fix their own shit?" Jigen asked.  He came over to read the messages while Lupin got up to sit with Xander on the more comfortable and roomy couch.  "We can put her to bed, Lupin."

"Not yet.  I want to know that things are settled before I take a nap."

"They're making a peace treaty," Jigen announced a few minutes later.  "Two of the smaller groups just agreed to not kill each other.  Others are joining in.  Ooh, a Russian group joined."  He smirked at Lupin.  "The impossible, they're agreeing to work with others."  He looked down again.  "Don Lagonsti just popped up."  Lupin lifted his head from talking to Xander, giving him a raised eyebrow.  "He said that it was wise of the children to fix this before the elders had to step in from retirement.  He offered us the chance to conference on how things should go."

"Fuck him," Xander murmured. "He's ninety and probably won't last the week."

"We're not running things, Jigen, you can quote me on that," Lupin said firmly.   "Tell him I'd hate the paperwork, the same as I told Dolune."

Jigen popped up a private chat with that Don and wrote that in, signing his name.  The Don wrote back that it was a reasonable worry, but that they could be monitors.  "Do we want to be behavior monitors?"

"Hell no," Xander said.  "We have enough of that with the kids."

Jigen typed that in, signing Lavelle's name to the quote.  The Don sent back a laugh and said it was more than good enough for him.  He closed it and the Don pointed out that the younger generation should be able to do this without anyone watching over their shoulders.  That he was old, Lupin was feeling his age, even though he wasn't that old, and that Lavelle and Lupin were building for the next generation of Lupins and Lavelles.  Jigen laughed. "Dawn just popped up and pointed out that there would be a next generation of ICPO Zenigatas as well.  The Don told her to go away and quit bursting the happy mood.  She answered she's inserting realism and raising fear for her children.  That way they wouldn't have to work as hard."  Lupin and Xander both laughed at that.  "She also said that she's bringing Demara over in about an hour, boss."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed, happier now.  "Are they working it out?"

"They are," Jigen agreed, turning off the computer.  He stood up and came over to lift Xander up. "Come on, Xan.  You deserve a nap."  He walked him back to the master bedroom and tucked him in after stripping him down.  Ishi walked in with some juice.  "Thanks, little man."

"Welcome," he said quietly.  He looked at Xander. "I'm sorry you had to destroy stuff, Uncle Xander, but thank you for protecting us."  Xander grabbed him to hug, giving him a long squeeze.  "Thanks.  You're a very good mother," he whispered.  "No matter what my own whines."  He cuddled his uncle like he had been cuddled after he had to make his first kill.  Xander needed it, he hadn't had to destroy like that before.  Lupin and Jigen left them alone, closing the door behind them. "Are we taking over?"

"Hell no, we'd have to do paperwork and that nastiness.  We'd have to throw balls and play nice and make treaties and alliance marriages."  Ishi shuddered.  "My feelings exactly, Ishi.  You know, you're better at this cuddling stuff than your father.  He's really stiff for a good ten minutes."

"He was raised that way," Ishi pointed out, but he was grinning very brightly.  He was better than his father in something!  "We love you, Mom.  Never forget that, even if we do yell at you as teenagers."

"Sure, Ishi.  Now hush, I've got one hell of a headache after that."

The boy nodded and let him sleep, keeping watch over him to drive off any nightmares.  It was an important job and he was lucky to be chosen instead of the girls to do it.  He perked up when his father stuck his head into the room.  "I'm protecting him, father.  I'll be out soon," he said quietly.

"You are very good at that, son.  Thank you."  He smiled then left him alone.  "He is very good at the comforting," he noted as he joined the other adults.  The other children were still napping and Bix was fussing over them.  "He looks quite comfortable being held.  He'll make a good husband some day for a fussy woman."

Lupin smirked at him.  "You could always go for guys, Goemon.  I won't share Xander, but you and Marcus would be cute."

"Hush," Goemon warned.  "Before I take your tongue from your head."  He looked at Fujiko.  "This is an old tease," he said.  She nodded, giving him an impatient look.  He looked at Lupin again.  "How do things stand?"

"At peace.  They're meeting to retain peace."

"It was noted if any of the old lines had to impose peace the new world order would be tidy and neat, but also very strict.  They didn't like that idea," Jigen offered.  "Someone joked and suggested Xander as the new emperor of crime.  Then someone else pointed out he still bowed to Lupin so Lupin would have to become the new God of Crime while we were his faithful high priests."  Goemon snickered at that, shaking his head.  "Marcus got to be Xander's handmaiden of crime."

Fujiko burst out laughing.  "That's a bad mental image.  Marcus, having sex?"

"Marcus has a lot of sex, thank you," Marcus called from the kitchen, coming out with a bright red blush.  "Marcus is nearly as randy as his father if not worse.  He's simply learned discretion after watching Xander love half the world into a coma."  He handed over the plate of dinner.  "You missed it while soothing him."  Lupin smirked at him.  "Sorry, I worked out my fussing nature that way."  He shrugged.   "I made bread as well."  He looked at Goemon. "Master, are we staying with them?"

"My son won't leave him at the moment," Goemon told him.  "He's guarding Xander's rest."

"Good," Marcus agreed. "Ishi is very comforting.  He learned that quite well from Xander."  He looked at Lupin and Jigen again.  "I'm helping Ethan with that potion.  He's going in for surgery in two days so I'll be back in a few weeks.  Is that all right?"

"Fine," Lupin agreed.  "That's important and something we all want, Marcus."  Marcus beamed and jogged down to his room to pack.  Lupin looked at Fujiko.  "That would be one of his many lovers."  She looked stunned.  "He's taken Xan's example and decided being bi is good."  He sat down, eating a bite of the noodle dish.  "This is really good.  The kid can cook."

"The little, old Watcher witches they fostered him with probably made him learn," Jigen said bitterly.  "Along with beating his magic out of him for a while."

Lupin nodded.  "I heard about that from Goemon."  He looked at the unhappy couple.  "Are you two okay again?"  Goemon nodded and Fujiko shrugged.  "Fine, we'll explain each of you to the other if we need to.  Fujiko, you've got to start easing up on Xander.  He is what he is and you getting bitchy won't help matters any.  You made him cry earlier.  I won't allow you to do that to him."

"You act like he's your husband," she said bitterly.

"He was," Jigen reminded her.  "Both of ours."  He looked at Lupin.  "I want to talk to her tonight."

"Go for it," Lupin agreed, eating another bite.  "We both know I'd welcome you if only so I got to sleep without being exhausted.  It was much easier to wear him out in female form."

"That multiple thing helped a lot," Jigen pointed out.  He got comfortable, crossing his legs.  "So, now what?"

"Now, we make sure that Xander's empire merges with ours," Lupin reminded him.  "We look over her upcoming projects list and get her to let us help.  We maybe move back to France."

Dawn appeared with a young woman.  "You know, Father, if you had tried, you could have tricked my address out of my mother," she said snottily.

Lupin looked back.  "Come sit, Demara.  There's a lot we've got to talk about, dear."

"Fine."  She sat down, waving at Fujiko when she wouldn't quit staring.  "Yes, I exist."

"I realize that now," Fujiko admitted, looking at Lupin.  "You've had kids for that long and you still had to have the Fourth?"

"Yup.  I didn't get to name her and there had to be a fourth name holder."  He licked off his fork and put the plate down on the seat next to him.  "Demara, I know you know what I do.  I know you hate me for it.  Right now, there's things that supercede it, including you continuing to live."

"Is this what those creepy old men were talking about?" she asked dryly.  "That's why I had mother send me closer to you."

"Definitely," Dawn agreed.

"Dawn, we'll be training our own kids," Jigen told her.  "How are yours?"

"Just the one set of nephews, the younger set, but the other kids are around their ages so they're having fun at the moment."  She shrugged.  "They like the fact that Zenny got sent home as soon as he was stabilized.  This time wasn't a real heart attack, just a near miss."  She hugged Lupin around the throat.  "Give that to Xan."  She backed up and disappeared, but brought back Lotus with a pat and a present for her.  Then she left again and the portal fully closed this time.

"What is that, daughter?"

"A blank spell book and journal so I can work on things," she said proudly, holding it up so he could see it over the back of the couch.  "Dad, am I big enough for a bra now?"

Goemon looked at his daughter's form, motioning her for to turn sideways.  He shook his head.  "Not yet.  Why?"

"Arsene thinks she needs one," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Her mother was built very well," Lupin pointed out.  "We'll get her one as soon as she needs them, and then put her on something to control her hormone swings."

Demara snorted.  "That's not usually an acceptable thing for young girls.  Pills yes, shot no."  She looked at the group.  "So, I'm to stay with you so I can train.  Then what?  I make it into the rank of thieves?"

"No, not unless you want to," Lupin offered.  "You can also stay to play with the kids and help them with their training, to find a good husband, and other things."  She rolled her eyes.  "Some girls are like that and your mother never lets me talk with you, I had to offer," he pointed out, patting her on the shoulder.  "I didn't think you were, but your mother was."

"Which is why my mother and I don't really get along," Demara pointed out.  "How would you be able to train me?"

"You know about Buffy?" Jigen asked.  She nodded.  "Have you heard about Xander?"

"A rumor.  He was a helper.  He left."

"He was gifted against his will," Lupin corrected gently.

"He's Lavelle," Jigen finished.

"Oh.  Then I suppose he would know some of this," Demara admitted.  "That's fine.  What about that nice Wesley person who approached me?"

"He's the one who hurt Xander.  We work with his son," Jigen told her.

"Excellent.  I knew he was nasty when I met him.  He oozed slimy feelings."  She looked around.  "So does someone around here."

"Xander was gifted against his will," her father repeated.  "By Wesley and given as a consort."

"Eww.  Have you seen the size of most of the higher demons?"

"I have and he had to heal for a long time," Lupin agreed seriously.   "That's why he wanted to train you and why I wanted him to train you.  Plus we need some to stay in Europe and I'd miss you if you were sucked into the US for good."  He grinned at her.  "Willing to try?"

"If you want.  I don't want to crimp your style, father."

"Daddy!  Melissa won't play with me!" Arsene yelled, sounding outraged.  "I want to dominate the world and she won't let me."  She stomped out, looking pissed.  "She won't let me be the evil overlord this time.  She's mean, daddy, make her stop!"

"Arsene, calm down.  You don't want to be an evil overlord, that means you'll have to do everything alone.  Be an evil team, that way you all get some of the work."  She pouted at him.  "Honey, she can never be Lupin the Fourth like you are.  She'll have to tell people who she is until she gets a reputation, you've already got a great family name to say proudly."

"Hey, Melissa's a Jigen," Jigen protested.

"Yeah, but Melissa will still have to tell people that.  All Arsene will have to say is I'm the Fourth."  He grinned.  "It'll strike fear in people for generations, Jigen, and then she can help Melissa gain her own scary reputation."

"Yeah, sure she will.  You're hoping the girls won't compete against each other."

"Well, yeah," Lupin agreed, smirking bigger now.  "Aren't you?"

"Yes, but I'm sure she'll win some day.  After all, Melissa will have my control and Xander's mind and planning ability.  Your daughter is just you as a female."  Lupin pouted so he smirked back at him.  "Seeing the point?  All Melissa will have to say is I'm Lavelle's daughter.  It'll only take a few times."

"So they'll be the twin evil overlords," Demara broke in.  "Who is this, father?"

Arsene grinned at her.  "You're my big sister."

"Obviously, you look just like our father."  She held out a hand.  "Lady Demara Crossington."

Arsene shook it.  "Arsene Lupin the Fourth.  Future ruler of the world."

"I see."  Demara smiled at her.  "I'm sure you'll be a benevolent ruler for the most part.  Are there more of you?"

"I have a sister, Sierra, but she'll be a good guy," Arsene assured her.  "Then there's Fred and baby Alex.  We didn't really care which daddy was hers.  Then Uncle Jigen's got Melissa and Savannah, Sarah, and possibly the baby."

"Wow."  Demara looked at her father.  "I see a teenager won't be a bit of a problem. When did this happen?"

"Long story," he said, kissing her on the cheek.  "Thank you," he whispered.

"It's good that you have one child who can and will follow in your footsteps, father."  She stood up.  "Should I go back to Paris and wait at the main hideout?"

"We'll be heading back there soon but not yet," Jigen told her.  "Go find an empty room.  Arsene, help her, and make Melissa quit pouting.  You either share the job or you'll have to fight her for real some day and she'll win because her daddy's training her."

"Fine," she sighed, going to tell Melissa that and to introduce her big sister around, even though they already knew her. She peeked in on her mother.  "Is Mommy up?"

"Not yet," Ishi said in the darkness.  "Out, Arsene.  Later."

"Fine.  Sissy's here."

"Tell her I said hello and explain things to her.  Now go before you wake him up."

"Yes, Ishi."  She closed the door.  "He thinks he's in charge because he's older," she shared.  "He's our backup though.  He's the Fourteenth."

"Wonderful." Demara found the empty room and settled in.  "I'll need to get some of my things shipped I suppose."

"Why?  We're going shopping soon," Arsene offered with a small smile.  "You can help so Auntie Fujiko doesn't dress us like tramps."

"I heard that!" Fujiko yelled.

Arsene pulled something out of her closet and went to hand it to her Aunt.  "I don't believe that is appropriate for a girl my age," she said meekly, then went back to her sister's room.  She came out again.  "Daddy, Sissy needs clothes.  She's only got the undies on her body.  Everything else is still back at her school."

"We'll go shopping in a bit," Lupin said with a small smirk.  "Nice try, Arsene."

"She needs clothes, Daddy.  We all do.  Mine are getting too small.  I'm giving them all to Sarah."  She went back to do that, letting Sarah help her shift stuff over.  It'd be a bit big on her but not that much.  Sarah was growing a lot.

Jigen looked at Lupin.  "You ever think you're being used by your daughter?" he asked dryly.

"Now and then," he admitted.  "I thought that's what daughters were for."  He stood up, taking his plate into the kitchen. "Okay, shopping?"

"Shopping," Jigen agreed, standing up.  "Cards?"

Lupin went into their bedroom, grabbing his wallet by feel.  He came out and figured out it was Xander's so he turned on the lights and grabbed his then winked at Ishi.  "We'll take you tomorrow, little man."  He turned off the lights and left them alone, gathering up all the children.  "Shopping!" he called.  The kids came running, lining up politely for Goemon to take them out to the cars. "Fujiko, aren't you coming?" he asked as he walked past her.

"What's wrong with this outfit?"

"It's got a very low neckline and they're children," Jigen said simply.

"It's got a micro-mini skirt and they're only seven," Lupin pointed out.  "Plus it's the wrong color for most of the kids."  He hauled her up and out to the car so she couldn't snark at Xander while they were gone.  "We'll find some outfits that fit properly and look good, girls.  Someone buckle Fred into his seat.  I feel like I'm running a daycare."  The girls laughed but the seats were all checked by Demara.  "Thanks, dear.  We'll have your stuff sent back to the main hideout.  Any special needs I need to deal with?  Pill, bras, things of that nature?"

"I have this month's pills in my purse, father, and my vitamins."

"That's fine.  We'll work on that when we get back to the house.  It should be before then."  He drove off, letting Jigen sit back there with the kids while Goemon sat beside him.  The kids would pick on him.  "Where did the cats go today, guys?"

"They're on my bed," Lotus assured him.  "One was howling and screaming so the others gave her a bath and nuzzled her to sleep."

"Shit," Jigen, Lupin, and Fujiko sighed.

"Kittens are often instructive," Goemon offered.

"We'll find them homes," Fujiko said firmly.  "We have enough cats."

"Maybe Ethan needs a few more," Jigen suggested.

"Doubt it," Lupin sighed.  "He had to save the one he had from the vampire Ripper."  He changed lanes and turned onto another street, using his signals just in case someone was watching.  He couldn't have a high speed chase in the van.  "We've got to get something more classy for group outings."

"We liked the limo the Alternate Mommy had," Lotus offered.

"That would fit you all," Lupin agreed. "I'll look into some of them.  Thank you, Lotus."

"Welcome," she chirped happily.

"We need fruit for the bird too," Sierra reminded them all.  "He's been hungry and the dragon and he had a fight again."

"We need more stuff for headaches too," Jigen reminded Lupin.

"Definitely," he agreed.  "Mall.  Here mall.  I know you're around here somewhere."

"Go west another street," Goemon ordered quietly.  Lupin followed his directions and they came upon the parking garage.  "You will not leave our sides, children. I do not want to harm anyone today."  They all sighed and nodded, following him inside.  He stopped to buy a single red rose and presented it to his wife, then took the children into the Gap.  He had the patience to do this part of the shopping.

Fujiko sniffed her rose, sniffling a bit.  "I still hate you," she called.  The baby kicked and she winced. "Fine, not as much as I did. Happier now, heathen beast?"  She stroked her stomach to calm him down, going to look in the lingerie shop for something to taunt the man with.  She wasn't having sex with him but a good nightie was a good weapon.

Lupin shook his head, coming out of the pharmacy with the value sized Ibuprofen and Tylenol bottles.  He handed Jigen's to him and took some of his own.  This was going to be an interesting week.

Motherhood.

Xander woke up being cuddled by one of the kids and looked up, waving listlessly at Arsene.  "What happened to Ishi?"

"He's out beating the snot out of Lotus for being a brat," she said, sounding honest.  He frowned at her and she sighed. "In chess, daddy, promise.  His daddy would kick his ass if he ever really beat her up."  She slid off the bed and opened the door. "He's awake!" she yelled.  Then she flipped on the bedside light, it was softer than the overhead.  "Dinner," she said happily as her father carried in a tray.  "You missed it, daddy, we had to get Auntie Fujiko to put things back.  Her husband said she had enough clothes and she could only get five new outfits.  She pouted and tried to dress us like tramps again but daddy Jigen stepped in and picked her up, carrying her all the way to the ice cream place and handing her a ten yen note to get something for the baby."  She curled up beside him, tucking the napkin around his neck.  "There you are.  Here, I'll help."

"Out," Lupin told his daughter, giving her a look.  "Feeding is something only lovers can do, not daughters.  Go help Demara unpack."

"Yes, daddy."  She hurried out, bringing back the fork that she was still holding.  "Sorry."  She hurried out, closing the door behind her.  "He's feeding his lover," she said with a smirk for her partner, Melissa.

"Awwww," Melissa said happily.  "Good.  Daddy needs that from both daddies."

Demara coughed.  "All right, this is very odd.  The last I knew, my father didn't date men.  Jigen didn't date anyone, and Goemon didn't have children, and since this was last year, things need to start being explained.  Now."

"Are you going to be a good girl or a bad girl?" Melissa asked.

"I'm a slayer, dear, I just am."

"Oh."  She frowned and looked at Arsene, who nodded.  "Fine, we'll tell you all of it."  She sat on one side of her big sister and Arsene got the other side.  "Okay, first, we're not from this dimension."

"Our timeline was recently closed but we're Xander, Daddy's, and Daddy Jigen's," Arsene added.

"Oh.  All right, I can see that.  You got sent here?"

"Well...." Arsene said, biting her lip.  "Lotus?"  Lotus stuck her head in.  "How would you explain this to her?"

Lotus walked in and looked up at Demara, then sighed.  "All right, to start with, in our timeline, you did know about us.  You were there on and off as we were growing up.  Buffy ended up training you after all, but we got you for a lot of it whenever you got tired of the bitch princess."  She grimaced and looked at the door, then at Demara again.  "In this timeline, while the parents were in Bali, Xander was kidnaped.  Uncle Xander was taken hostage by a chaos person who wanted a holy statue for some odd reason.  He had a special choker, one that changes sex.  He put it on Uncle Xander.  That's where the two divided.  In ours, Uncle Xander got stuck in it because of David, another student of the parents, and he had to learn to be a girl now and then. He got really good at it too.  So good that Janus and the Powers That Be decided to reward him for surviving being given against his will by Marcus' daddy, who I will someday kill."  She licked her lips.  "So, he had Melissa and Savannah.  He also had Fred and Sarah.  He had Alex too.  My actual mother had Kenji but she died during it, we think.  So Mommy Xander stepped in and fed him mommy milk.  She'd have done it for me but my mother wouldn't let her and had to do some of it anyway since we were on the run and couldn't find formula.  Dad was happy with it though so she went along with it. Arsene and Sierra come from separate mothers but they were to fulfill the will."

"So, you were born over there, they are your parents.  What happened to bring you here?"

"Our world ended," Arsene said quietly, looking at Lotus.  "Little Alex is a lynchpin.  She protects things, she's going to be Daddy Xander the next generation.  Someone attacked us all as they were bringing her home.  Some of us died for a moment but Lotus fixed that.  They got Alex as she and the mommy walked in the door."

"And you were switched here?"

"I kinda made a very strong prayer while we were fixing things," Lotus admitted.  "Janus heard, called the kitsune to help.  Uncle Xander got sent back to see if he could fix it, starting at the kidnaping before the choker was put onto him.  So he refused it, got free, the idiot died, and things changed.  What just happed in Europe happened later in our timeline.  Just over the last year actually.  We even got to help in the meetings to pick the new heads in Europe but it went sour at the end."  Lotus shifted a bit, changing her stance.  "So, we knew that things were going to be horrible.  The kitsune had a long talk.  They added me to it since it was my things that were getting things done.  We decided we should come back.  The daddies needed us and a few of us were needed to keep the balance in the world.  So they sent most of us back.  Ishi and the babies had to stay behind.  They couldn't send Alex until the end, even though I had brought her back, and they weren't sure they could send Ishi since he's the one that our mother is presently carrying.  So we did the spell to be sent to whatever city their daddy was in and Uncle Xander had to run with us from London."

"I heard about that part," Demara admitted.  "Then who is Dawn?"

"Dawn is Buffy's little sister," Melissa told her, patting her on the thigh like some women did to each other on tv.  "She's a former thief but she had to go straight because she couldn't be the sort of bad girl that would survive the life.  She didn't want to have to hurt anyone, even to save others."

"Oh.  And somehow she got with the inspector, and things happened...."  She trailed off, nodding.  "Got that part.  So you're here.  Any particular reason?"

"Just to exist," Lotus admitted.  "To keep the world going.  I'm one of the balancing things.  Me, Alex, Arsene, and Savannah.  Though the kitsune really liked Sarah because she'll be their next envoy."  Demara smiled at that, Sarah had curled up on her earlier and informed her she was taking a nap by chanting it as she drifted off.  "So we have to be, but without the choker, Uncle Xander couldn't have those others and I might not ever have come to be because my mother's going odd," Lotus sighed, "and I want so much to be punitive at the moment and I know father would be disappointed in me for it, but I know what's going on.  She's not possessed."  The others looked stunned.  "I asked Uncle Ethan to look and he said she wasn't.  Uncle Marcus said the same thing.  She's just being mean."  She was picked up by the big sister and held.  "Thanks."  She let herself be comforted.  "So, now we're here, the world will move on, and pretty soon the daddies will be letting us take over."

"And some of us will be getting specialized educations," Arsene finished proudly. "Ishi's already been told he'll go to the assassins' academy if he wants to."

"I'll be getting a lot of lessons from Uncles Marcus, Ethan, and Ripper," Lotus agreed.  "Melissa is getting some now from all the daddies along with Arsene so they have a working team when they're older.  Fred was going to be a mini Lavelle when he grew up before but we're not sure about now.  Alex is still a next version of Uncle Xander. She'll get the choker."  Demara gave her a squeeze.  "Kenji will be a fighter of some sort probably but we're not really sure how or what sort," she admitted with a small grin.  "Mother thought Ishi was kidding when he said he thought he'd be like his kitty name."  She shrugged and slid off the welcoming lap.  "So, now you know."

"I do," she agreed.  "Seems a bit fantastic, but then again I've heard of some of the things that my father's done."

"Oh, that's *nothing*," Arsene assured her, leaning closer. "Uncle Xander and Uncle Marcus know *magic*.  They use it on the job."

"Wow."  She smiled at the children.  "Then I believe I'll fit in just fine.  Who is that other woman?"

"Bix?  She's Uncle Goemon's cousin," Melissa told her.   "She said her side of the family was started in the great Slayer debate that split the family.  She was on that side."

"Guys, we need to help Auntie Fujiko find herself again," Arsene stated firmly.  "She's so anti-mother that it's hurting Ishi and Lotus, plus she's never touching Kenji anymore.  She needs to be fixed."

"She does," Lotus agreed bitterly, glaring toward where her mother was resting.  "I don't want to be alone with her.  I remember what she did last time and I don't want it to happen again.  Besides, she's *scared* of me.  Ishi's scared I'll end up a monster, but he's scared of my gifts, not of *me*.  She's scared of *me*."  She slumped a bit then straightened up.  "I don't mind if father takes us away for a bit.  We're at that age where I'm more interested in grown up things than the rest of you girls are.  Mommy Xander said to give it another year and we'd be fine again but for now that the difference is showing."  Melissa gave her a long look and Arsene looked startled.  "He said it was normal."  She shrugged.  "I'd take her word on it."

"You don't like dollies?" Arsene asked.

"Not as much as I used to," Lotus admitted sheepishly.  "I'd rather learn some grown up stuff to show that I'm not a little kid.  Daddy said if I wasn't so sensitive I'd start learning the sword in another year but he said I didn't really need to worry about slicing things open because of who and what I am."  She grimaced, pursing her lips like a duck's bill.  "Mother wants me to shop.  To stare at popular stars and coo and sigh.  While they're cute, they'd never understand me anyway and I know I don't have a shot with any of them.  Mother says I'm missing out on an important part of childhood development by not being a groupie.  Dad says I'm practical.  He thinks I'm great the way I am."

"Your father does love you," Xander said from the doorway, walking in and closing it behind him.  "Hey, Demara.  If I ever embarrass you by walking around in my boxers, tell me."  He knelt in front of Lotus, tipping her chin up.  "We love you, munchkin, we really do.  None more than your father. You wouldn't know this but he was *so* stoked to have a little girl.  He actually thought you'd be simpler than a boy to raise," he said with a grin.  She laughed and hugged him.  "Thanks.  Most of us want you to be yourself, Lotus.  Whoever that becomes is up to you.  We're all here for you, but you can't totally snub your mother that way.  Your Uncle Lupin thinks that she'll change after she gives birth to this new one.  Your dad thinks so too.  Uncle Marcus and I were thinking that she's possessed already."

Lotus pulled back and shook her head.  "I asked Uncle Ethan about possessions and he explained them to me, even how to check, and I suggested we try it together on the mother.  She's not."

"Well."  He nodded after a moment of thought.  "Then she's just having a 'me only' moment that's lasting a bit too long.  We'll always be here for you.  No matter what.  Even if you have to run away to come back to us, all you *ever* have to do is call and we'll be right there.  Got it?"  She nodded, giving him a very serious look.  "Good.  'Cause we love you both.  You're great kids."  He grinned over at Arsene, then at his daughter.  "What are we planning for this new one?"

"Making her mother be a mother," Melissa said quietly.  "Fully."  Her face hardened and her eyes seemed to shine.  "I'm not her nanny, daddy."

"No, you're not," he agreed.  "Have you been taking care of Kenji?"  She nodded.  Arsene did too.  "How long has this been going on?"

"Since we got here," Lotus said miserably.  "Anytime the daddy isn't around."

He kissed her on the forehead.  "Then you let me handle it, Lotus.  You too, girls.  We won't let Kenji suffer but you're not old enough to take care of a child.  You're seven.  Lotus is only nearly ten."  He stood up with a moan of pain.  "I'll be glad when Ethan's done with that medicine.  Maybe I'll take a few sips too."  He patted Lotus on the head.  "You're a wonderful girl, Lotus.  As great as my own and I love you like my own.  Got it?"  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Good.  Then anytime you need it, the Xander home for wayward Samurai-in-training is open to your whole family.  Anytime you need us, you call.  One way or another.  We're not letting you go."  He patted her on the head.  "Demara, I'll be working with you and Ishi tomorrow since his father's taking his mother out for an ultrasound.  We'll start on the basics and see how far you've gotten.  Ishi's a great trainer, he's been working with the girls.  So have Lotus and Bix."  She nodded, smiling at him.  "Then we'll move into crossbows, how to stake properly, and what you can stake and what you have to use a rocket launcher on."  He grinned and walked out, closing the door behind him.  He walked into the kitchen where Jigen and Lupin were teasing each other.  "You two are so cute together," he cooed, making them jump.  "Ooh, did I scare you?"

"Yes, stomp next time," Jigen said, giving him a fond look.  "Why are you out of bed?"

"I heard Lotus explaining everything to Demara and I stayed to listen.  Since when are our children old enough to take care of Kenji?"  Lupin caught the plate that slipped through his fingers before it crashed, but his expression stayed shocked.  Xander nodded, crossing his arms.  "Anytime Goemon's not around.  Melissa and Arsene both admitted to it and Lotus backed them up."

Ishi pushed open the door and walked in.  "Mother wanted to know if there were any more cherries I can make her choke on," he said, his face as hard as his sister's had been.  "I thought it was just me."

"No," Jigen said, shaking his head.  "And it's not Bix either.  She panics when Bix tries to help so she gave up."  He put his dish towel over his shoulder and turned to lean against the counter.  "What did our planning genius suggest?"

"Arsene and Melissa suggest we make her be the mother," he said quietly, hearing someone in the halls.  "Cherries, I'm not sure, Ishi.  Thank you for the hug, dear."  He grinned at him and winked, getting an understanding look in return.  He opened a cabinet.  "The type you put on ice cream."

"Did I hear ice cream?" Arsene called, running in and grabbing her father to hug, making him break the dish this time.

"Ishi, what's going on!" Fujiko called.

"Arsene sneak-attacked her father," he called back.  He opened the fridge, then shrugged at the full bag of cherries.  "The bag's empty, mother, someone will have to run out to the store."  He closed it and walked away.  "Sorry, I didn't see any."

"That's fine."  She patted him on the back as she walked into the kitchen.  "You dropped a plate, Lupin?"

"I had to grab my girl," he admitted with a grin.  "She's wonderful at sneak attacking.  Ishi's great at it too.  He snuck up on Xander."

"His father's good at that too," she said grimly, grabbing a soda without looking in the fridge.  "Eww, diet."

"Sorry, mine," Jigen said, taking it.  "Have to keep my girlish figure for going through heating ducts.  Goemon's a good cook and I'm gaining weight."

"Oh."  She shuddered. "It's still nasty."

Xander got into the fridge and found a can of regular soda.  "Here, last one until one of us runs out."

"Thanks for that.  Get me cherries and walnuts?"  He nodded, looking passive until she left.  Then he glared at the door.

Lupin smirked at him.  "We'll fix it, Xan," he said quietly.

"We will," Xander agreed.  "Or he'll be a widow.  I won't put up with the Don doing that to her spouse."

Jigen snickered at that description.  "We'll do whatever we have to do to protect our friends."

"He might be mad for a bit but he'll appreciate it some day."

"Now all we have to do is to find Bix a boyfriend," Arsene put in.  "That way she quits moping in the nursery."

"Soon, princess," Lupin assured her.  "When she's old enough to date for real."  He patted her on the back and put her down on the other side of the broken dish.  "Get me the broom and the dustpan then run and do your homework."  She nodded, grabbing them and then leaving the adults alone.  Lupin looked at Xander.  "Feeling a migraine coming on, Xan?"

Xander looked at him, then sighed and nodded.  "I am.  All that power earlier gave me a dreadful headache, it might even take a few days to cure," he admitted, sounding sorry for it.  "I'm sorry I can't do much to help."

Jigen gave him a hug.  "We understand.  All that energy had to whip through you and it must have upset your body somehow.  You go back to bed.  We'll pamper you for a bit longer."  Xander nodded, taking the bag of cherries and the last two regular sodas with him.  Jigen smirked.  "He is so bad sometimes."

"He is, but I agree with the reason," Lupin pointed out.  "Let's work with the common skills pool tomorrow.  Got it?"  Jigen nodded.  "Good.  It won't hurt Demara to do that and Ishi and Marcus can work on her hand-to-hand for a while too."  He cleaned up his mess then tossed it away.  He finally looked at Jigen.  "Are you coming back to us?"

"I don't know, man.  I have no idea what's going on in my head."

"We're leaving it up to you, Jigen.  I can't make that decision for you and I doubt you're going to get a female Xander soon."  He shrugged as he grabbed the next dish to dry and put away. "Dishes aren't doing themselves and it's not fair to Goemon to make him cook and clean."

Jigen went back to his washing, handing things over as soon as they were rinsed.  They were a good team.

***

Xander wandered listlessly out to breakfast and put his head down on the wood of the table with a soft moan.  "I don't feel good."

"Let's hope you're not catching the flu the children came with," Goemon said, testing his forehead like an experienced father.  "You're not warm.  Do you ache?"

Xander lifted his head, giving him a long look.  "Only my head."  Goemon nodded.  "I think I'm energy wiped.  I overused yesterday."

"That is perfectly understandable," Marcus agreed lightly, buttering his toast.  "Why don't you go back to bed, Xander?  I can work with Demara and Ishi this morning while Goemon takes Fujiko to the doctor's and Jigen and Lupin can work with the other children on something."

"Thank you."  He got up and wobbled for a minute, then wandered back to his bed, where he got naked and climbed back in, grinning under the covers until he fell asleep again.  Marcus hadn't even been let in on the plan and he had done wonderfully.

Marcus looked at Goemon.  "I've done that once myself, back in tenth grade.  It was most painful.  I had a headache for a week."  He popped that bite of toast into his mouth and chewed.  When he swallowed he smirked again.  "It comes to all of us and hopefully this will discourage Lotus from doing something that massive."

"The time switching thing did that," Lotus assured him.  "I was sick from that, not from the transfer or the flu."  She smiled at her father.  "Should I work with Ishi, Father?"

"If you want," he agreed, smiling back at her.  "You are quite good at the beginning lessons.  If your uncle doesn't work with you, I want you to work with the other children or make Bix take a break later and work with her.  She needs to keep in practice as well."

"Yes, daddy."  She smiled at her uncles.  "What are we doing today?"

"We were going to go over historical robbers and the people that they robbed from," Lupin said happily.  "You get some of the best antiques from them because they always tried to hide things with the most modern technology they had at the time."

Ishi snorted.  "I saw something on the Discovery channel about them having to rebury an ancient tomb because the modern air was ruining it and they couldn't preserve it.  So they spent all that time and money digging it up so they could measure and take pictures, then they poured sterile materials back over it."

Lupin nodded.  "That's often the case, especially when you get things out of the water.  We can't replicate it and you have to work really hard and really fast so things don't breakdown.  Especially gold."  He sipped his coffee.  "Modern treasure hunting is a hobby of ours in our off moments and it's exacting work."

"I thought that's what we did all the time," Jigen told him.

"I meant underwater treasure hunting," Lupin said, giving him a smirk.  "You know, where we dive and your hat gets wet?"

"We haven't done that in years," Jigen agreed.  "Then again, no one can figure out how the Egyptians got so much done that we can't today either.  Ancient scrolls are much hardier than anything we can do with the same materials today."

"How do we discover the lost knowledge?" Lotus asked.

"We try really hard to figure it out, or we steal something and then work on duplicating it," Lupin told her, smiling at her for the good question.  "Today we were going to start with Egypt and work our way forward to all the treasure that Alexander the Great had moved around his empire. That should take most of the morning, then you can join your father when he gets back and Ishi can come help us again."

"Okay.  We can drag Bix with us during the naps."  She looked at her father. "Is that all right?"

"That's a very good use of our time," Goemon agreed. "Provided they let us out of there on time."

"If not, I'll hog Bix for a few hours, Daddy."  She paused then looked at him.  "Father, I know it's not in my future, but shouldn't I learn the same lessons as my brothers, just in case I need them?  I mean, Ethan gets attacked sometimes and every now and then he has to hunt down a component, literally, so shouldn't I know how to do that?  Even though it squicks me badly."

"Squicks?" Goemon asked.

"Makes her ill or nauseous, grosses her out," Jigen supplied.  "Had to look it up online when Arsene used it about dinner a few nights ago."

"Oh."  Goemon looked at his daughter, watching her for a few moments, then he nodded.  "I can see it in that light, though you will still be stopping at the bottom-most level of the training.  You should learn how to use any weapon that may be at hand.  I had no idea that you'd have to hunt."

"Neither did I, but Ethan said sometimes he has to.  He said sometimes he needed fresh stuff."  She shuddered.  "Which is really nasty, but if I have to use the other person's type of magic to counter them then I should at least know how."

Marcus coughed. "Usually you can find a counter within your own tradition, Lotus."

"Still," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "Uncle Marcus, if someone unethical did what we had done and went back in time, would my nature magic be able to counter it?"

"Well, no," he admitted.

"And, if like the last white witch had to do, I have to fight a massive demon will my nature magic work that well?"

"No, nature magic can do many things and it can hurt them but there's not many things in it that can kill from my knowledge."

"A branch flung through someone's heart will kill them," Goemon pointed out.  "I hadn't thought of her needing that sort of solution however."

Marcus nodded. "Most of the time you can't really drive them off, Master.  You have to...dispose them I'm afraid.  The slayers do this as well."

"Very well then, I will teach you the basics of swordwork," Goemon agreed.  "You will also learn how to hunt and track as I did.  You and your brother can start those lessons together.  Your swordwork will not begin until after your next growth spurt."

"Yes, daddy, thank you," Lotus said cheerfully.  "I'll even sweat."

"Yes, you will," Ishi said, frowning at her.  "Show off."

"Bite me," she sneered.

"Daughter!"

"Sorry, daddy."  She smiled at him. "He's always so mean because he's older."

"Lotus, quit picking on your brother," Xander yelled from his bedroom.  "You upset him too much and he'll start hurting you in practice.  He is older, even though you're both little kids."

"Yes, Uncle," they sighed.

"I'm sorry we woke you, Uncle," Ishi called back.  "Have a good nap."

"Thank you, I was trying to.  Goemon, get Arsene in it too.  She could use the lessons on control before she starts to hit puberty."

Goemon spluttered, eyes wide.  "Puberty?"

"Girls go through it too," Jigen sighed sadly, shaking his head.  "She might be like her daddy there too."

Lupin chuckled, smirking at him.  "Don't you wish?  With her luck, she'll like Melissa.  She doesn't seem to like boys."

Jigen looked at Goemon. "Please, teach the kid some control before she pulls a Xander and sleeps with a whole house of ill repute and wears them out."

Goemon gulped his juice, then nodded.  "Definitely.  We'll start work on that this afternoon.  Long before the hormones start to rule their lives."  Lupin grinned at him.  "I should put you in that class as well, but you're too old to learn new tricks."  Lupin blew a kiss.  "Remember, your lover is ill.   You can do no more than pamper him for the next few days."

"Yeah, but I need to spoil Xander more often so he spills more secrets.  I had no idea he was doing the society thing."  He glanced at Jigen, then back at Goemon.  "You know, all the girls will soon be asking for bras and things.  We'd better get together tonight and decide what to tell them."

"Hopefully I'll be one of those women who don't need bras because I'll have small tits," Lotus said wistfully.  "Not like the mother said hers were like at my age."

"Who told you to call them that?" Ishi asked angrily.

"Mother."

He frowned.  "That is disrespectful of your own body, sister.  Do not call them that again in mine or Father's presence."

"Yes, great wise one," she said smartly.  "Does that mean I have to codename your body parts too?"

"Enough," Goemon warned.

"You shouldn't know anything about mine."

"Oh, yeah, because you can't see that anywhere on tv, not even on animal planet," she said scornfully.  "Hello, was watching HBO the other day and Real Sex was quite informative."

"Yeah, because you'll ever need to use that knowledge.  Girls like you don't get boyfriends.  They get cats and nothing else."

"Enough!" Goemon yelled.  "Lotus, you may not watch that filth until you are old enough to buy the cable yourself.  Ishi, apologize and then do ten pushups in the corner, in the handstand position.  Lotus, pick another corner and do five of them for watching that trash," he ordered, pointing.

"Yes, Father," they sighed, glaring at each other.

"Sorry you'll never have a boyfriend," Ishi muttered.

Lupin slapped him across the back of the head.  "Surly little boys who can't learn to get along with girls even when they're surrounded by them will never, ever find a date, Ishi.  So unless you want to start going for bully boys and biker gangs, I'd stop soon and learn to appreciate your sisters."

"Yes, sir," he said miserably.  "I don't like boys that way," he defended, pouting at him.  "Those sort are smelly too.  That's just nasty, Uncle Lupin."

"Good, then learn to get along with the gentler sex," Lupin said firmly, staring him down.  Ishi nodded and patted his sister on the back as he went to his own corner.

"Should my son ever take up with a biker, I'll blame it on you," Goemon said, frowning at Lupin.  "Thank you though."

"Welcome.  I'm sure it's just a stage, like when he thought frogs were better than sisters because they were slimy."

"Yes, but then Lotus coated herself in vasoline and motor oil," Jigen reminded them.  They all shuddered.  They hadn't gotten her fully clean for two days.  They had to throw out her clothes and sheets because they couldn't get it off there.

Lotus looked at her brother. "I'll get a good boyfriend so you can see how good it is," she taunted quietly.

Ishi glared at her. "I like girls, just not your sort.  Real girls, with brains and sense."

"Children," Marcus warned.  "That's another five for each of you for continuing this stupid argument.  Or else I'll make it so you both like cats."

Goemon smacked him on the arm.  "You too, twenty, in the same position," he ordered, pointing at a clear space of wall.

"Yes, master.  I was only trying to help," he pouted as he went to do that himself.

Fujiko came out of their bedroom, looking at the children. "Fighting again?"

"Yup," Lotus panted as she worked to get her last one in.  "There, done."  She flopped down and wiggled her arms to get the feeling back in them.  "Now I don't need to do my arm work today."

Ishi snorted.  "I doubt that'll happen.  Bix is just as stern as dad."  He got to his feet and pulled his sister up, walking her back to her seat.  "Sit there and learn how to be a proper woman from Uncle Lupin so you get more than cats."

"Unless certain little boys want to find themselves in magical chokers so *they* can learn to be proper women, I'd quit," Fujiko warned.

"Mother, that would destroy my sense of self, my self-esteem, and make me suicidal," Ishi said, frowning at her.  "That would be akin to torturing me by removing my body parts.  The UN and the Geneva Conventions frown on such things."

Lupin snickered, putting his head down on his plate.

Jigen tossed a napkin at Lupin's head, holding in his smirk. "You've got grape jelly in your hair."  He looked at Ishi.  "The Geneva Conventions are only for war criminals."

"It would be a war should she attempt such a maneuver," Ishi vowed, eyes narrowed as he looked at him.  "There would be many awful acts of attrition that I can think of.  Including burning all her clothes and making her wear a proper kimono like a proper wife."  He gulped his milk, then looked at his father, smiling at him.  "You were going to chastise me for hiding some skills I was learning off Uncle Xander's anime, father.  Shall we?"

"Go warm up," he said, swatting him as he walked past.  His son was transparent sometimes, but it would be a war he would help his son with.  "I'll work with him until it's time for us to leave," he told his wife, nodding at her.  "Lupin, the jelly has been infected by your hair.  Others won't want to eat it."

Lupin sat up, still laughing as he dished out a big dollop and put the dish farther up the table, which meant that Lotus could have it.  "I agree, that would be a war.  We'd have to help the little guy."  He stood up, going to wash the gunk out of his hair before it got stiff.

"Ishi would make an ugly girl so we'd have to help him," Melissa pointed out from her seat, stunning her father.

"Besides, that sort of device should only be put on if you know that you want to change gender, or to try it out before the operation," Arsene offered.

"How do you know about such things?" Fujiko demanded.

"The Discovery, Home and Leisure, Health, and TLC channels," she said promptly.  "I also know about face lifts and how bad they can turn out.  You could look mummified or worse if you go to a bad surgeon.  I hope I never have to have plastic surgery."

"Hope you keep all your hair too," Sierra put in.  "TLC said that more and more women these days are suffering from pattern baldness due to contaminants in the air and water, plus the bad things in the food that can mess up your body and complexion like nothing in history ever could.  And there's no real cure for it because you can't get away from ground, air, and water pollution."

"There's always hope that humanity will smarten up and live like the animals do," Lotus offered gently.  "Or even most native peoples.  Humans are the worst predators in history and those of us who complain about getting cancer from other people's car exhaust and cell phones are branded as heretics and meanies."

Fujiko looked at her husband.  "My daughter is odd and mentally challenged because of who?"

"It's scientific fact, Mother," Lotus said, rolling her eyes.  "Seriously, if you ever read anything other than the Smithsonian for jobs and fashion magazines for teenagers, you'd know that.  I mean, Scientific American had a whole issue devoted to the water pollution problem.  Even that fancy water that comes straight from glacier and underground runoff, that stuff they bottle in France, is starting to show pollutants because we've messed up the Earth so badly.  No native would *ever* let their land get that bad."  She looked at Arsene.  "We need to start cleansing treatments to get rid of that nastiness in our skin.  My herbalism book, the one I got for my last birthday from Ethan, has some wonderful herbal and vegetable compounds we can use to clear off the smog and nastiness we gather by being outside."

"It'd probably help the usual teenage acne problem too," Savannah pointed out.  "We could all use that.  Daddy had some bad ones from what he told me."

Arsene shuddered.  "Then we'll start doing that each weekend.  Maybe we can prevent skin cancer from it?"

"That's more a need for sunscreen each and every day, even if we only sit beside the window.  The ozone layer is fairly thin in certain places," Melissa reminded her.  "Thankfully we're not in a spot where it's *gone* or we'd have to go out wearing reflective devices over our *whole* bodies, and then how would we look cute?"

"Or start going out only at night," Arsene suggested.

"That would work," Melissa agreed, looking at Lotus, who nodded enthusiastically.  "Then maybe we should start doing that more of the time.  Daddy?"  Jigen looked at her.  "Can we please pick up some appropriate sunblock so we don't die of skin cancer?"

"Sure.  I'm all for not being burnt to a crisp," he agreed.  "As long as you don't get paranoid about it."

"That's fine, dad," Arsene agreed with a smile.  "I've got dry skin anyway and I know there's some moisturizers that have some."

He nodded.  "We'll pick some up later when we take Ishi shopping."

"Thank you."  Lotus smiled at him.  "You're very understanding."

"I've already had one mole looked at from where I burned so bad as a kid every summer and the most recent research stuff did say that burning a lot as a kid does mean you're more likely to get it."

"Fortunately they've only had two good sunburns their entire lives," Goemon pointed out.

"Do you mind, Daddy?"

"No, I believe it is a prudent and reasonable thing to put on sunscreen every day," he admitted.  "You can remind me," he offered.  She beamed at him and reached around her mother to hug him.  "Thank you, finish eating.  Lessons will be starting soon."  All the kids dug in and then hurried to the room they were using as a classroom, the office.

Lupin looked at his girls as he came in.  "Very well reasoned, girls.  We'll make sure to talk to some good skin care people about what to get.  Especially since not all of you have dry skin and you have combination skin, Arsene.  You've already got oily spots on your nose and forehead."

"Yes, daddy," she said happily.  "Can we go?"

"There's no way I'm dragging you guys to the mall by myself," he said with a bright smile.  "Do I look insane?"  They laughed and hugged him but settled in to work with him.  Ishi could catch up and he taped his lectures anyway for the younger kids to use later on.

***

Fujiko looked up as her youngest son wailed, then sighed and got up.  "What?" she asked him, expecting an answer.  Instead he continued to scream.  She picked him up and he screamed louder so she patted him on the back like her husband did.  His ear-piercing wails got a bit softer but he was still crying.

"Change him," Xander yelled from his room.  That was as much help as she had gotten from him in the last two days.  His headache was still making him pissy.

She sat him on the bed and opened the diaper, then backed away.  "Eww!" she called.  "It's gross!"

Xander opened the door, scowling at her.  "What do you think your ass looks like after you get done?"  He looked at the boy, then at her.  "While you're at it, you might try feeding him, it's been nearly six hours."  He walked away, leaving her door open.  He looked at Lotus, who was nibbling on her top lip.  "Quit that, it'll scar," he warned, pouring himself some juice.  "He's not in danger, it's a nasty diaper."

"She hasn't fed him since this morning," she said quietly.

"He's fine."  He sipped his juice and gave her a hug.  "Don't break," he whispered into her hair.  "Just two more hours."  She nodded.  Lupin had said that if she didn't take care of the baby for eight hours, he was going to talk with Goemon and help him get her help.  He walked back to his bedroom, listening to the baby scream.  It was getting on his nerves too.  He heard the front door slam and went out to intercept whoever.  "Who gave you permission to walk into my house?" he asked the cop.

"The wire we left is driving me insane," he gritted out.

"Yeah, me too," Xander agreed, sipping his juice.  They shared a look and he shrugged.  "You can wait until Lupin gets back if you need to.  I'm going back to bed.  My head still hurts."  Over the last two days, he had talked himself into a good headache.  Either that or it was the constant wailing of Kenji.

"Damn it," Bix shouted, stomping in there.  "I can't take it anymore, Fujiko.  Can you not change a simple diaper?  If not, then ask and I'll teach you!"  Kenji quieted within moments and she walked out holding him, looking at Xander.  "I know you're in pain," she said quietly, "and I know your head is throbbing right now because even I can feel it a bit.  I've got to go to the store.  Can you watch him?"

"I will if he can't," Zenigata offered.  "That was driving me insane.  The other person listening wanted to call Children's Services on her."  He took the baby carefully and sat down, holding him gently.

"He needs fed," Xander said quietly, going to make a bottle for him.  He came back and handed it over.  "Thank you.  I'm going to take something for this so I should be able to spell you in a few minutes."

"The crooks were coming back anyway," he said bitterly.  Xander nodded, going to take the medicine Lupin had gotten him when he found out he really did have an exertion headache.  Then he came back out in time to watch Lupin walking through the door.  "We've got to talk," he said.

"This looks like you're taking my son and leaving him for the inspector," Goemon said dryly.

Zenigata looked at him.  "No, your wife let your son scream non-stop since about thirty minutes after you left," he said coolly.

"He did?" Lupin asked, looking at Xander.

"Mostly I want comforted cries.  She got him to stop about every hour. That's also his first bottle since I went back to sleep after you left."

"Yes, and the bug in your room echoes your snoring beautifully," Zenigata said sarcastically.  "And your muttering."  He looked at Goemon.  "I know she sent the nanny away and told her not to touch this one.  I know that Lotus has been itching to help and won't, for whatever reason.  I know Xander wanted to help and couldn't.  But this shit's gotta stop.  I came in to intervene so you don't get a social worker here.  The rest of the kids are healthy, content, and happy.  I don't know what the problem is here.  Besides the fact that his mother can't or won't change diapers, won't feed him, and won't pick him up."

"I did, I picked him up each time he cried," Fujiko said from the doorway, walking down the hallway.  "What are you doing listening?"

"You're crooks, what do you think I'm doing listening?" he asked snidely.  "Do you want this child taken from your custody?"  She slowly shook her head.  "Then take lessons from the people who know what they're doing.  They're all around you.  Bix is underage, yet she still knows a lot about kids."

"She was a nanny with the kitsune," Xander offered.  "Let me, you'll upset him more."  He took the baby, yawning down at him when the baby yawned. "I know, those are contagious, little guy.  How about I deal with you for a bit?  At least until I fall asleep."

"What happened to you?"

"Calling up the powers of hell gave me a headache."

"And you can't fix that?"

"I can, the medicine knocks me out."  Xander looked at him. "It's like my brain ran a marathon without any training, Gramps.  It hurts.  It aches.  It's getting better, but it aches.  That first day was pretty mild compared to the next morning."

Lupin nodded.  "It was.  The first morning he came out looking a little pale and shaky, just having a minor headache.  By that night he couldn't move without wincing and his head's been throbbing.  We had to take him to the ER the other night.  May I?"

"He's my son," Goemon said.  "Give me my son."

"Hey!  I never get to hold him," Jigen complained.

"You have a baby daughter to spoil!" Goemon said firmly.  "He's my son.  I get to baby him."

"Guys, not making my head ache any less," Xander said over the complaints.  He glanced at Fujiko, who was looking very upset.  "Now.  If you want, we can make sure this never happens again.  I can teach you how to change diapers, mix a bottle, do all that neat stuff."

"Teach her how to give him a bath.  She nearly drowned him yesterday while you were unconscious on the couch," Zenigata said bitterly, glaring at her.  "It's sad that men are better mothers, Fujiko Mine, but you need to change.  Who's going to raise your next one?"  He stood up.  "I've done my duty so there won't be any social workers.  We don't want to hurt the other children," he said, glancing at Xander and then Goemon.  "Some parents are very overprotective and deadly when things like that happen."  He straightened out his jacket.  "I'll be listening."

"That's fine, we're leaving in another week or so anyway," Lupin told him.  "Have a nice campout.  How are the kids?"

"Tolerable.  Adjusting well enough.  Dawn's an amazing mother. It's like her whole face brightens each time she sees one of the kids, even her nephews.  She's happy being a mother and a wife."  He let himself out, heading back to the van.  As he got in, he looked at his student.  "I've seen Lavelle call the cops on some parents," he told him.  "They were trying to make Fujiko be a mother for a change.  They wouldn't have let it go on for another day but I couldn't let that happen anymore."

The student nodded.  "I understand.  No baby should have to cry like that."  He closed the door behind his mentor.

In the house, Goemon had won the argument and was holding his son while Xander drifted off in a chair watching them.  He looked down at him and smiled.  "We will be more attentive, Kenji."  He stroked the damp hair.  "Were you sweating?"  He kissed his forehead.  "Lupin, he's running a fever.  Fairly high."

Jigen grabbed the thermometer, Lupin held the baby while Goemon got to use it on the poor kid.  So Jigen got to be puked on when the baby did that while being supported face down so the rectal thermometer could be used.  "That's green," Jigen noted, looking at his shoes.  "Xan?"  Xander 'hmm'ed at him.  "Green puke and a fever?"

"Baby doctor's in the rolodex, under baby."

"Thanks."  Lupin looked at Lotus.  "Can you get that and call?"  She nodded, doing that.  He pulled out the thermometer when it beeped.  "One-oh-one."

Lotus found it and dialed, bringing the phone over.  Then she went to get a damp washcloth for the baby and for her uncle's shoes, handing them both over.  Finally, she took the baby and sat down, crooning at him like she would her plants or kittens.  "It's all right, Morris.  We love you and we'll get this fixed.  It's probably just a bad belly."  He started to get sick again so she rolled him onto his side, patting his back to make sure he wouldn't swallow it.  "That's all right, I clean up," she promised.  "That's why some intelligent woman invented the washing machine that you didn't have to rub things on a rough board in."

"A guy did that," Jigen told her.  "He probably did it for his wife or mother though."  He took the baby, cradling it gently when it started to cry again.  "Hey, calm down.  We've got you.  It's all right."  Lupin hung up.  "ER?"  Lupin nodded.  "Okay.  Xander's keys?"

"Our dresser," Lupin said, hurrying to get them.  He came out and patted Lotus on the head.  "Find a reward, kid, you did good."  He, Jigen, and Goemon took the baby, leaving Xander with the kids, who were all working out with Ishi but Lotus.

Ishi walked down the stairs, looking at his little sister.  "Is he fine?"

"Probably a stomach bug.  Babies get a lot of them," she offered.  "Let me change then I'll get the juice."

"Let Xander do it."

"Mother, he's asleep.  His mind aches with the stress of destroying half of Geneva.  If you don't know what that pain feels like, let me tell you," she snapped, making her mother's mouth open.  "It feels like someone's using an oil drill to excavate a cavity in the very back of your mouth, a dirty one with the taste that comes with it, plus the fact that your brain feels like its swelling while your skull shrinks.  That's on top of the exhaustion of the body from where the energy whips through you and you have to force it to stay on the path you want.  Not to mention the pain that he was in emotionally because they were attacking us children.  If anything, he'll probably need a good week more before he can do more than sleep and eat.  If the pain's subsiding this fast, I'm going to making sure he can't do magic for at least another month.  No choker, no other magic for another month because it will cause a relapse.  If you don't believe me, go ask Marcus.  He's had two or three of these to my single one saving the other children and sending them back here."  She stomped off to change clothes.

"Get back here!" Fujiko snapped.

"Oh, shut up," Xander said bitterly, standing up.  He stared down at her.  "It's bad enough that we left you alone with *your* son.  The one you complained because you don't get to be a mother to him.  We let you be a mother.  You flunked.  Your daughter did everything right, including the putting him on his side thing.  You didn't even realize he was warm, and that temperature was a good three degrees higher than it should be.  The baby felt hot to me too, but I've been having hot flashes so I thought it was me," he said honestly.  "If you want to be a mother, Fujiko, then be a mother.  Learn how.  Bix and I will gladly teach you every single trick we've ever used.  Hell, I've learned things off her because she's been doing this for years.  When she got drafted by the kitsune, cars weren't even a gleam in anyone's brain.  She took care of little, fast things that liked flip their tails at you for fun.  She helped me a lot when I was ill with Alex.  Hell, she got the kids to quit sulking and let out their grief in good ways.  She's a wonderful mother.  I'm pretty damn good at it.  Lupin's good at it.  Jigen's good at it.  Goemon excels at it.  If you asked *any* of us, we'd help you."

"You left me with him knowing I didn't know what to do!" she shrieked, then she hit him.  He backed away, rubbing the spot.  "You knew I couldn't take care of him."

"Fujiko, little kids Ishi's age have kids sometimes, and they can figure out how to read the directions on a canister of formula and make a bottle.  They can figure out how to change a diaper after looking at the thing, then at the one that's been properly applied already.  If you had *asked* even I would have come help you.  You didn't.  You let the baby lie there and scream his head off because you were looking at magazines."

"They said to let him cry."

"Not for an hour straight!" he yelled.  She backed away, cowering some.  He calmed himself, and incidentally made his head hurt less.  "Ishi, upstairs."  He shook his head.  "Now."  Ishi shook his head again, coming over to lead his mother away.  "I wasn't going to hurt her."

"No, but I am," Ishi said as he pushed his mother into her room.  "It's best you stay in there for now, mother.  Lotus is about to lose her temper and I doubt it'll be pretty.  You'll cry again."  He closed the door and walked back, hugging his uncle until his sister came out, then they hugged her between them.  "I will be a father like mine," he said quietly.

"I'll be a mommy like daddy is," Lotus agreed, snuggling in.

"Are we all hugging?" Demara asked. "Is Kenji okay?  He's not screaming."

"They just took him to the ER.  He was puking and had a fever," Xander told her.  "Oh, there's bugs in the house.  Tell Arsene and Melissa, okay?"  She nodded, going to do that.  He looked down at them.  "You two are always welcome at our house," he whispered.  "No matter why or when.  You two are always welcome to come running to us.  You, your dad, your baby brothers."  He heard crying and straightened up.  "I want to feel sorry for her."

"That's Bix," Lotus noted, going to comfort her.  "Shh, you did right," she offered, hugging her.  "It was the right thing to do.  Uncle Xander's not been able to and we had to fill in."

"I can't stand to see children in pain," she moaned.  "I can't.  It hurts."

"Shh, there's shielding for that," Lotus soothed, working a small spell to put her out.  Then she tucked her into the bed she was sitting on, Arsene's since she had the last room on the hallway.  She walked out, closing the door gently, then stormed up the stairs.  "Marcus, Bix is empathic."  He stopped what he was doing to look at her, already frowning.  "She was in tears because Kenji wasn't feeling good.  I knocked her out.  Arsene, if she's not up, you can camp in my room tonight."  Arsene nodded quickly.  "She needs shielding if she doesn't have any or work on them if she does.  She was in tears because he was hurting."

"That's fine, dear.  You did correctly," he promised, patting her on the head.  "Let me check on her.  There's warding I know that I'll teach you tomorrow."  He smiled at her then trotted down the stairs, finding Xander nearly in tears.  "Are you all right?"

"How can you be so bad to your own kid?" he demanded.

"It's not hard.  You simply don't care enough to care."  He hurried to check on Bix.  Xander's emotional storm wasn't going to help her any if Lotus was correct. He found a young Kitsune poking her.  "Little one, we just had to sedate her," he said quietly.

"She my nanny," the baby foxling told him seriously.

"I know she was.  Did you need her?"  The fox nodded, pointing at his tail.  "Oh, dear, you've broken a bone.  Okay, let me shield her and then I'll take you right to the Lord, all right?"  The baby nodded, clutching his leg while he worked.  As soon as he got done, he picked up that one carefully and activated the token he had to get to the fox realm.  He walked past the guard.  "This one came to see Bix to get his tail unhurt," he explained as he walked through the gateway.  He headed right for the throne room, the only place he knew up there.  A woman screamed and pointed.  "Shut it," he warned.  He bowed to the Lord.  "This little one came to see Bix because his tail's been broken somehow.  We have her sedated because Fujiko refused to take care of her child when Xander was asleep with a headache."

"With what he did to those people threatening his cubs, I'd expect one hell of a headache too," the Lord agreed, smirking down at him.  "Medication?"

"Fairly powerful.  Kenji still managed to wake him repeatedly.  He said his brain ran a marathon without training."

"Yes, that does explain it rather well."  He came down to take the small foxling.  "I still like Lotus's explanation," he said with a smile.

"I didn't get to hear that one.  Was it good?"

"It was.  Especially when Xander told her she was a failure as a mother.  By the way, it's probably that plant he was chewing on in their room.  Not harmful but definitely an emetic."

"The one in the blue vase?"  The Lord nodded. "How did he get that?"

"He's crawling, barely."  He grinned wickedly.  "Thank you for taking care of this one.  Have you seen his sister?"

"No, but if she's off target any, there's a police van outside the house we're in or she might be in the gardens.  Feel free to come look."

"I will once I get this one to the healer's.  Guard Xander.  He's already upset."  Marcus nodded and left via the portal he had opened.  The Lord looked at the mother, who had screamed and pointed.  "It's a good thing he went looking for Bix.  Too long and his tail would be permanently bent.  Healers please," he said, raising his voice a bit.  One came running.  "This one's got a broken tail.  He went looking for Bix for comfort.  I'm going to send someone to look for his sister down there."  The healer nodded, bowing quickly as he took the baby off.  He looked at the guard, who was young and liked watching humans.  "Go.  The Inspector doesn't know but he knows about the supernatural."  The guard nodded and bowed, heading down.

In the van, Zenigata was looking at the baby fox that had crawled in his lap and was cuddling him for all he was worth because she was scared.  One hand gently came down to pat her on the back, and his other scratched her ears.  A cross between what he did to the cats and what he did for his kids.  When the bigger one showed up, he was still looking stunned.  "She limped in, her right rear leg is injured somehow and she's shaken.  She's terrified of someone."

"Her uncle was dosed with a fairy shot," he said bitterly.  "He lost control and went on a rampage in their house.  Her brother appeared inside.  Little one?  Talia?"  The baby fox looked at him.  "We have a healer waiting, little one.  Come with me?"  She nodded, lunging over at him, waving back at her protector shyly before hiding her head.  "Thank you, Inspector.  Our young are precious to us."  He bowed and left, heading back to the palace.  "Right rear leg and her wrist," he said as he handed over the baby to the healer.  She cried out.  "Shh, I'll be right here."

"Want him," she said pitifully.

"He's a human.  You can visit him and his cubs soon for treating you so well," the guard offered.  "The Lord will allow it."  She nodded, staring at him and holding his hand as the knockout shot was given.  Putting her ankle back into place was going to hurt.  He stayed, no kit should be alone.  "The other?"

"His tail's fine. It was dislocated and only had a small fracture," the healer assured him.  "Where was this one?"

"That inspector that follows the Envoy Xander around was comforting her.  He was listening to their house and she found her way into their van and his lap."  They shared a smile.  "He was scratching her ears and patting her back."

"I'm sure he didn't know what to do with a baby like this one.  He must have pets."

"Cats actually.  The Envoy's cat had kittens and he and his wife, the Key, got most of them."

"Ah."  He nodded as he worked, humming gently to set the bone.  "There, that should hold.  Now all we have to do is cast it."

"Oh, good," the Lord said as he walked in.  "Where was she?"

"With the inspector, like you thought.  I said she could visit to thank him, sire, I hope I didn't overextend your generosity."

"No, I like him.  He's honorable and he's quite funny," the Kitsune Lord admitted.  "Besides, his wife is trouble incarnate."  They shared a grin.  "Will this one be fine?"

"Just fine, Lord. It's easily set and we'll cast her later, as soon as I know everything is starting to heal."

"Excellent.  How was Xander?"

"I didn't check on him, Lord, shall I?"

"That's fine.  I'll check on him later tonight," he promised.  "Our future Envoy said her third word today.  Of course it was a human swear," he said fondly.  They all shared a laugh and he went back to calming down the mother.

***

Goemon walked back into the house.  He, Jigen, and Lupin had talked and he had listened to the tape the cops had made earlier. Zenigata hadn't even said anything when he had opened the door of the van, simply handed over the remote for the player and a set of headphones.  Lupin had told him about the children and Xander doing all the baby care for Kenji because Fujiko wouldn't allow Bix near him.  Jigen had explained that everyone had decided to let Fujiko be a mother for real.  That the headache thing was real, just that it hadn't been that bad on the first day.  He put the tape on a faster speed so he could browse through the day and sighed when most of what he heard was his son screaming.  Once or twice Xander had called out some advice, which was correct as far as he could tell by listening to the peculiarity of the crying.  Unfortunately she hadn't taken much of the advice.  He slowed it down at the fight, then handed back everything and walked into the house.  Lupin and Jigen had taken all the kids but his out for ice cream.  Bix was still asleep from what he could tell.  She was talking in her sleep again, mumbling about something furry tickling her.  He found Xander asleep on the couch with his son watching him and Lotus eating a sandwich at the table.  "Didn't you get dinner?"

"I couldn't eat then," Lotus admitted.  "I felt sick.  Uncle Lupin told me to make myself a sandwich whenever I felt I could eat.  Auntie Bix is in Arsene's room.  She's empathic."

"I heard you shouting," he admitted.  "The Inspector let me listen to the tape."  He looked at his son.  "Where is she?"

"I brought dinner in to her a while ago," Ishi told him calmly.

"She was doing what?"

"She was listening to something on her CD player and reading a book."  He stood up smoothly and walked over.  "Father, we love you dearly.  We missed the mother.  This isn't her.  She's not possessed.  She's selfish."  His father nodded, looking very sorry.  "We don't blame you, Father.  We know this wasn't the woman you married.  You never would have married her if she had been like this.  We understand that.  Lotus and I talked to Uncle Xan when he was awake last time and he said that she used to be much nicer, that she loved you.  He also reminded us that we can stay with them while you and mother work this out however."

Lotus got up and hugged him, then their father.  "Daddy, we support you in whatever you want to do," she offered, staring up at him.  "We love you.  We love most everything about you.  We respect you and adore you.  But if that woman comes near me to put me into a short skirt again, I'm going to scream.  Again.  You weren't there when I had to change clothes while we were out at the mall.  Three different people asked me how much I charged and was I really as young as I looked."

"I had wondered why you came out crying," Goemon said, hugging her gently.  "I'm sure it wasn't her intention, just her bad taste, daughter."

"I don't care, daddy.  I'm learning how to be a woman from guys.  They understand me better.  Even Ishi understands and treats me like I have some sense.  She wanted to put me into a thong, daddy!  A thong!  At my age!"

He gave her an extra squeeze, then hugged his son as well.  "Then we must do something."  Xander fell off the couch and he smiled. "For now, take him back to his room and stay in there or go upstairs.  I won't demand that you meditate to get rid of the anger.  It's perfectly understandable.  Your Uncle Xander feels it strongly enough to have to hold himself back from hurting her.  I saw that earlier."

"He barely restrained himself when he shouted at her," Ishi admitted quietly.  Xander's head lifted over the back of the couch, his eyes half closed.  "You need a bigger napping spot, Uncle.  Let's get you back to bed."

"Hmm, comfy."

"Bullshit," Ishi said firmly, taking him by the arm and pulling until he stood up.  "Bed, Uncle Xander.  Don't embarrass me."

"Son, do not swear," Goemon reminded him gently, smirking at his back as he and his sister walked their uncle to his room to put him back to bed.  "I thought putting a drunken Lupin to bed was bad," he said, shaking his head.  He walked into his room without knocking.

"I didn't invite you."

"It's my room," Goemon pointed out.

"No, it's my room," she said, rolling to face him.  "Mine alone since you don't seem to care a bit about me.  You left me with that screaming, crying, sick thing and without warning me I was being tested."

"Fujiko, there was no test.  No matter what you would believe.  You're a mother, they expected you to do some motherly things while they did what they were supposed to be doing."

"I'm not supposed to do that!" she yelled, pointing at the crib.

"You are.  That's what mothers do," he pointed out calmly, standing firm.  "As I said, I have no problems taking care of the child or encouraging Xander to help me when he's well.  For that matter, you took out your other source of help when you wouldn't let Bix handle the child."

"She's not the person I picked!  She's not our nanny."

"She is, I chose her while you were gone," he said firmly, staring down at her.  "As soon as this one is born, I will give you keys to my house in town.  You can do whatever you want but sell it.  The children will be with me.  Until that time, you are to stay within sight of one of us."

"Afraid I'll do something to your precious son?" she sneered.

"I'm afraid that your hormones are making you unreasonable.  This was the best compromise I could make.  Otherwise I was going to have to commit you.  Lupin was going to demand it for the safety of Xander and the other children."

"Yeah, like he cares," she snorted.

"Fujiko, Lupin changed diapers, fed the children, and was there when they were born whenever he could be.  His own, Jigen's, and mine.  He has done more for my children than you seem to have other than giving birth to them."  She stood up, but she didn't quite come up to his chin without her heels on.  "That won't work on me," he said bitterly.  "I am not going to be intimidated by you.  I also will not put up with you harming our children."

"I wasn't *harming* him," she defended.

"Then you simply weren't watching him at all when he crawled over to the plant that's supposed to be on the dresser and ate it?"  She looked at the plant she had moved, then scowled at it.  "That's what made him ill.  Easily solved once we realized he had eaten a non-toxic plant."  She sat down, staring at him, looking like a kicked puppy.  "Again, that look will not work with me," he said firmly, and he meant it.  "If you wish to be a mother to our children, then we will help.  If not, then you can disappear once this one is born."

"I'll file for a divorce tomorrow."

"I told you, I don't believe in that institution," he said calmly.  "I am hoping that some day you come to your senses and come back, but I will not divorce you."  She looked stunned.  "I'm sorry, but it is not something I believe in and I will not allow my family's name to be drug through the mud like some common garbageman's.  There will be no divorce and you can't do that without my cooperation.  If you should try, you'll find I will fight you over it."  He turned and walked out, then looked at her. "Do you want this room or should I move all the baby equipment?"

"I'll go sleep in a hotel."

"If you leave our sight, you'll be sleeping on a mental ward," Jigen said from the doorway.  "Where's Xander?"

"I had my two put him to bed.  Is he not there?"  Jigen shook his head.  "Then look upstairs.  One never knows with Xander."  He looked at Fujiko again.  "If you want to remain their mother, then we will help you learn, Fujiko.  No one's asking you to go on without guidance ever again."

"Sure," she snorted, starting to laugh.  "Because it's so easy."

"Bix was twelve when she was chosen and she got it.  Lotus is doing it and she's nine," Jigen told her.  "Kids in the US have kids at sixteen and some of their parents have made them raise them. You're nearing forty, Fujiko.  You should be able to get past that by now.  Diapers are bad, but that's no excuse.  Even I get that pleasure.  It's balanced out by them cooing at you in happiness as they eat."  He walked away with the baby.  "Xander!"  Kenji sniffled.  "Yes, we're looking for the mother," he soothed.  "Xander?"  He opened his door and found the lump on the bed had shifted.  He walked in and found it was Ishi, who was sleeping soundly. "Ishi, man, what's going on?"

Ishi raised his head and opened his eye.  "Young kitsune got pissed.  Tried for Lotus, Xander drug him out of here by his tails with her," he slurred.   He put his head back down.  "Stun grenade.  Hurts.  Nasty.  Bad."

"Go rest on the couch.  We don't want to lose you to a concussion."  Ishi nodded and rolled off the bed, heading for the couch.  "Goemon, did you hear anything about a concussion grenade?"

"No, but I did hear a door slam right before I walked in.  Why?"  He came out of his room.

"Because your son said a young kitsune came for Lotus and had one.  He's got a small concussion probably.  I sent him to the couch."

"He's fine, simply stunned," Lupin called.  "Kenji?"

"Sucking on one of my shirt buttons," Jigen offered, walking him out.  "Xander drug the young thing out of here by his tails.  How many tails, Ishi?"

"Looked like fifteen but then again I'm still seeing triple."  He half-opened his eyes then took his brother to hold. "C'mere, help make me feel better.  We can feel bad together, baby brother."

"Thanks, Ishi."  Lupin patted him on the head then looked around.  "Bix?  Marcus?"  Marcus appeared, looking attentive.  "How do we get up there?"

"The Lord is presently yelling at the little idiot for challenging Lotus," he offered delicately, stepping out of range of any fists and definitely out of grabbing range.  "He said that she was powerful but still too untrained and no humans should have gifts like hers.  So he was going to make sure that they couldn't.  At which point I followed Xander and then smacked the little bastard soundly before wrapping him in ropes that weren't there before and suspending him from the ceiling, then handing Xander his favorite foam bat so we could beat the little thing.  He's still giggling about it."  He smiled.  "Anything else?"

"Xander's still ill."

"They gave him something for his headache, which made him puke, but it's making it better as we speak.  He should be back down to a normal headache by tomorrow."

"Good," Jigen agreed. "Can we beat the brat?"

"No, Lotus is presently instructing Xander on how she wants to hit him; each and every place would hurt greatly."  He grinned and disappeared, bringing back Lotus, who was still fuming, and Xander, who went to puke.

"The Kitsune seemed to think that humans don't have magic," Lotus fumed. "I showed them!  They've now got a huge ass tree in the middle of their throne room and it's going to keep growing and then I'm going to invite a family of imps to live in it!" she said angrily.

"Daughter," Goemon said, staring her down.  "Enough."  She glared at him.  "It is not all of them, just some who did not have the knowledge that they needed."

"Try any, daddy," she said bitterly.  "Including their magic teacher, who believes that no human can do anything.  He thought we were there to be their slaves.  Boy, did he ever find himself wrong when he started to nibble on one of his tails.  I am not putting up with such disrespect from them toward my people!  I am a witch!  I am human, no matter what that idiot trainer thinks, and I am nearly perfect!" she yelled.  "He can fucking well bite me!"

"Lotus!" Goemon shouted.  "Language!"

"Father," she said calmly, looking at him.  "There are times to swear.  I feel that when your whole race and reason for being has been insulted that it's one of them."  She stomped off.  "Where are the others?"

"In the garden," Lupin called.  She stomped that way and they all winced when the door slammed.  "Damn.  I feel really sorry for the kitsune."

"Me as well, even the ignorant ones," Goemon admitted.

"Not me," Jigen said happily.  "I'm damn proud of the girl."

Goemon looked at him.  "You would be."  He checked on his boys again, noticing that Ishi was asleep but that his younger son was nibbling on Ishi's neck for him.  "Son," he said, picking him up.  Ishi tried to struggle but his father patted him on the head.  "It's me."  Ishi let him go and he knew then that his son would be the proud bearer of the family's name.  He protected their family against anything he could.

The Lord of the Kitsune, who had quite ruffled and disarranged fur, appeared behind Goemon and coughed gently.  "If I may, there's a few people who would like to apologize to your daughter Lotus before her tree eats us or the demonic envoy suddenly becomes able to affect us again," he said quietly.

Goemon snickered, pointing toward the garden.  "She's out there getting Melissa and Arsene to help her plan something."

"Oh, please, not that," he hissed, shaking his head as he walked that way.  A guard appeared and he waved a hand.  "She won't hurt me.  I protected her.  She likes me."  He opened the door and peered out into the twilight.  "Lotus, dear," he called gently.  "There are a few people who owe you an apology.  Would you be willing to hear it?"

"Hell no!"

"Lotus!" Xander called.

"Fine."  She stomped inside, glaring at the kitsune, who was about her height.  "I'm not pleased."

"I noticed that when your wonderful tree tried to eat my tails, dear," he said with a small smile.  "They were truly dumb and would appreciate you allowing them to apologize.  They had no idea what they were talking about.  They've only watched humans once or twice from the mirrors.  They've never interacted.  Now they know better."  He patted her on the back.  "Come, let them apologize and take down the one you've turned into a pinata.  Then we'll talk about that magnificent tree and how you made the demonic envoy affect us.  You're quite strong, young lady, and we want to make sure that you've got the *best* trainers so you can do everything that ever comes your way."  She relaxed at that, letting him take her away.  He came back a moment later with a vial.  "For Xander's head in the morning," he said quietly.  "I have a bigger one waiting on me."  He disappeared again, leaving some fur behind.  Apparently he was shedding from the stress.

Goemon laughed, shaking his head.  "My daughter is amazing," he said proudly.  He went to make a bottle, knowing Xander couldn't breastfeed with the medicine in his system.  He found a few made and silently thanked his wonderful children.  He hoped his last one would be just as good.

Demara joined him and took the baby to cuddle.  "I hope you're okay, Morris.  You're a pretty neat baby when you're not screaming your head off.  Yes you are.  Even though you are the world's best birth control, you are still a very good baby."

"Some day you may change your mind," Goemon told her.

"Then I hope someone commits me," she said seriously.  "I couldn't put up with that day after day. Babies need things and I hate being needed.  Wanted is different but being needed sucks."  She handed him back gently.  "I may be willing to babysit now and then.  That enforces the lesson that I don't want children.  Do you think I could skimp on my chosen duty?"

He shook his head.  "Probably not."

"Why not?" she begged.  "I hate it."

He smirked at her.  "Because if you don't, then Xander will have to."

"Have you noticed he's not quite well?"

"Yes, which is why we wanted at least four of you in Europe, so he wouldn't have to go out."

"And have fun?" she snickered.  "I meant he wasn't quite right in the head, Goemon.  He changes gender at the drop of a hat, changes personalities the same way.  I'd almost think he had multiple ones in his head already, but I can't make that judgement without asking or being telepathic."

Goemon laughed, shaking his head.  "Xander is unique, Demara.  There are not any others like him."

"Thankfully?" she teased.

"Quite," he agreed.  "Hopefully we can keep Fred from being that way with careful monitoring."

"I'm all for that.  He was bouncing around earlier asking if he could shoot another gun."

"Xander?"

"Just after a dose of medicine.  Someone tried to break in through the warehouse. They were not happy to be shot in the ass with a paintball gun."  She turned and left him alone, going back to her room.  She found her little sister in there and gave her a hug.  "What's wrong?"

"Bix is still in my room and Lotus is fuming.  So I'm hiding in here until I can curl up with daddy."  She grinned up at her.  "Did you tell anyone about the people who tried to break in?"

"I told Goemon.  He didn't seem that surprised."

"I doubt he was," Jigen said from the doorway. "Arsene, don't crawl in tonight.  I don't have any clean pajamas."

She looked at him, then smirked.  "That would be different how from the last time I caught you in the shower?"  He blushed and walked away.  "I love doing that to him.  He hardly ever blushes.  Now Goemon, he blushes all the time.  I can even get dad to blush."

"I'm impressed," Demara praised. "What did you do to do that?"

"I walked up to a really pretty man and asked if he wanted to sleep with my father since he was grouchy and my mother was being a twat, plus his mister was cranky because his wife was cranky.  I had to explain that wasn't a mister the male version of mistress, then he got it.  Daddy was out with Fujiko at the time.  Did it quite loudly too, he heard me over a dinnertime crowd at the mall.  Auntie Fujiko broke out laughing and had to sit down.  Daddy simply groaned and blushed and shook his head, saying something about little kids and bad ideas to have them.  The man nodded and said he wouldn't normally take up an offer like that, but if he was that good to have a matching set then maybe he should give him a try.  Gave daddy a phone number."

Demara chuckled.  "I adore you already, Arsene.  You are more than worthy to be the fourth."  She gave her another hug.  "You are so wicked, little one," she giggled.  "I wanted a picture of that."

"I've got one.  I stole one of daddy's tieclip cameras and I used it then.  It's on mom's laptop."

"You'll have to show me tomorrow."  She kissed her on the forehead. "I believe they're all in their room.  I heard their door shut."

Arsene got up and went to listen at the door, then waved and went to climb in between her father and her mother.  Xander grunted, daddy patted her, and Jigen got out of the bed and headed for the couch.  She giggled and hugged her parents to her.  She didn't mind the trio but sometimes you just had to get them alone for the special things to happen.

***

Lupin woke up and felt the usual need for his mate, making him grin even as he opened his eyes.  He shifted closer to kiss Xander awake but a headbutt to his stomach made him stop and look under the covers.  "Out, Arsene," he ordered.  "Now."

"Hush!" she whined, wrapping herself around Xander's stomach.  "Mine!  Get your own."

"He was mine first," he said, prying her off and putting her onto the floor in an upright position and giving her a little shove.  She growled and pounced him, knocking him onto his back so she could cuddle him, then fell asleep that way.  "Damn it," he hissed.

"Now you know how those natives who sleep with everyone all together in the same bed feel," Xander said sleepily.  He blew a kiss.  "Later, dear. Otherwise she'll be grumpy and we'll be stealing something to make her less cranky."

"Bunny slippers," she mumbled.  "Need new ones anyway."  She nuzzled in and then nipped her father when he moved.  "Quit.  Bad horsy.  I'll put the sharp and pointy bit on you if you try to buck me off again."

Lupin rolled over carefully and deposited his offspring on the empty pillow.  Then he rolled back to hold his mate, at least he could do that.  Xander gave him a gentle kiss and a smile.  "Morning."

"Morning, horsy."

Lupin pinched him on the back.  "Behave."

"Or what?  You'll find me a saddle?"

"No, I won't go find you a new treat today."

"Never mind, I'm angelic and special," Xander said sweetly, smiling and everything.

"As any used car salesman," Lupin agreed smugly.  "You haven't been angelic since the first time you looked at a guy and drove him insane with need.  Probably your third or fourth man."  He kissed the pout away.  "That's okay, I like you being wicked and evil.  It's a better match for my brilliance."  Xander chuckled and moved closer, cuddling in as best he could.  "Good boy.  What sort of treat would you like?"

"Surprise me," Xander requested, kissing the soft throat in front of him.  "Mmm, morning Lupin tastes good enough to be breakfast."

"No playing with food items while I'm trying to sleep," Arsene demanded. Her father gave her a push with his foot and she went rolling off the bed to sprawl on the floor.  "Mean shits!"  She stole the blankets and huffed off with them.

"Hey, naked Xander, I like naked and open-air Xander," Lupin said happily, indulging in his usual pre-breakfast snack.

Jigen walked in with the blankets and closed the door, locking it and putting on the chain.  Then he walked over to lay behind Lupin and curl up next to his back.  "Morning."

"Morning.  Joining in already?"

"Watching to make sure I can do that," Jigen admitted.  "That okay, Xan?"

"Sure.  I'll have you sucking me down in no time," he said cheerfully, going back to teasing his mate's sensitive throat.  He liked it when he did that.

Jigen laid there and watched it all, wondering if that really felt good.  How could it feel good if you had to stretch it before hand?  Then Xander leaned over and kissed him after sucking on Lupin, sharing some of the spunk.  He decided it didn't taste bad, just different.  When Lupin was ready, he flipped Xander onto his side facing Jigen and then took him quickly.  Xander moaned and wiggled until Jigen got really brave and lent a hand.  Xander used his hand quite well and then they were limp together, Jigen realizing he had come too.  He curled up next to them, letting Xander cuddle against his chest.  Now he had partial information to base this decision on.  He knew Xander would let him watch all he wanted for a while so he'd be able to figure it out soon.  Hopefully.

"Daddy, you need to get up and feed us so we don't starve," Sierra called.  "No more lounging in bed with the mommy panting and gasping against you, your babies are hungry!"

"Jigen, you can walk straight, go feed them," Lupin whined.

"That was a Lupin calling, you could tell by the mouth," Xander pointed out helpfully.

Jigen moved closer. "Xander, can you cure that able to walk thing?" he asked.  Xander chuckled as he pounced, making sure Lupin had to get up and feed the kids.

"That's playing dirty, Jigen," Lupin complained, but he did get up and clean up so he could feed his starving children.  He opened the door, finding Sierra there listening.  "You can't operate a toaster?"

"No," she scoffed. "That's a parent's job.  Just like the stove is.  I can't microwave breakfast so therefore I need an adult.  If I didn't, you three could shag yourselves senseless for another four hours each morning for all I care."

"You're getting cooking lessons," Xander called.  "Oh, baby," he moaned, going back to what he had been doing.  "Toast is easy, use the handle and the bread.  Shut the door, Lupin, he's teasing."

"Don't tease, Jigen, you know how much he hates it," Lupin agreed as he shut the door.  The kids could make toast or go wake up Marcus. They wouldn't starve in the next hour or so while they got Jigen broken in for their pleasure.

Familiar Strangeness.

Lupin the Third walked off the plane and looked at the limo, then a familiar beep pulled his attention away.   He grinned madly and looked at the other adults following the children.  "I'll meet you at the house," he said, scurrying off before anyone could help him.

"Daddy, wait for us," his daughter Sierra called, starting to pout.

"Sweetheart, daddy needs some personal time."

"You get enough of that with mommy and daddy Jigen," little Arsene yelled.

He stopped and turned to look at her.  "That's a different sort of time.  This is for me and only me."  He grinned. "You'll understand when you have kids, dear."  Then he jogged off to his car. "Love you, Murami," he said as he hopped the door and slid into the two-seat Benz.  "Want to ride with them?"

"Oh, no.  You promised me a ride and I'm cashing in on it," she said fondly.  He laughed evilly and beeped before speeding off.

Back at the plane, Xander was shaking his head.  "We'll see him by tomorrow morning and Murami will keep him out of trouble."

"No she won't," Goemon assured him.  "She's helping him exercise his need to be a normal man again.  Children are daunting enough but when they come in large groups you have to spend some time alone."

"Are you sorry we showed up?" Lotus asked pitifully.

"No," he said honestly, "but we weren't used to you.  Before you grew up with us.  Now you're simply partially grown.  Besides, Arsene probably drove him off with her mouthiness."  He got everyone into the limo, helping Jigen buckle the children in.  "There.  We can go once Xander gets in."

Xander stood outside and had a flash.  He knew he didn't have visions so he wasn't sure what was going on, but he waited them out.  The first was followed by a second one, and then reality appeared normally again.  No dog, no more odd things.  Only the rented stewardess bringing down their cats.  "Sorry about that," he said, smiling as he took the bags.  "We didn't mean to leave them."

"That's all right, sir.  We had to pry one out of the overhead compartment anyway," she said with a smile of her own.  "You have quite a family."

"Yes, I do," he agreed dryly, making her laugh.  "Thanks."  He pushed the cat carriers into the back of the limo then climbed in, looking at Jigen.  "I want to know what was going on just now."

Jigen handed over the note that had appeared on his seat.  "For you."

Xander opened it, then grimaced.  "Remind me to knock Anya around later, okay?" he asked happily.  "She wanted to get back together with me.  She was trying out possible wishes."

"Wonderful," Jigen agreed.  "You can hurt her later.  Is that all the cats?"  Xander counted, then nodded.  "We have all the kids?"  Goemon nodded. "Everyone has their stuff, right?"  Goemon nodded again.  "Then let's go home."  The driver pulled away from the plane.  "We travel like fricken' royalty these days," he complained quietly.  "We never just take off and go."

"There's a solution for that, but you'd hate it," Xander offered.  "And it's not available for at least another year."

"Which would be?" Goemon asked.

"School."   The other adults looked stunned.  "Specifically a year of boarding school.  It'd do the kids good to mix with normal kids."  Jigen nodded at that.  "Plus, we could concentrate on the new one and the babies.  They need us more right now.  Sarah's having more health problems.  Fred's getting ready to start giving us hell.  Alex is going to be walking soon.  Why did I have so many kids?"

"The condoms broke," Jigen reminded him.  "A year?"  Xander nodded.  "Only one year?"

"Unless they beg," Xander offered. "It'll teach the kids how to blend in and how to make other friends.  It can only help their development.  Of course we'll have to be really picky so we can keep the kids together, but it shouldn't be too hard."  Jigen shrugged and Goemon looked thoughtful.  "It's not like we can't keep an eye on them.  It'll also expose Ishi to girls who aren't his family and help him deal with the female species."

Goemon nodded. "It would," he admitted. "Plus this year will be hard on them."   He looked at the napping children, then at the other adults.  "We will have a meeting about this tonight, after bedtimes."  They nodded.  "For now, let us worry about Fujiko."

"She's in Spain," Xander told him.  "I asked on the bulletin board.  Told them to let us know if she moved.  I'll be heading down there tonight."

"Are you sure that's wise, Xan?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"You're still weak," Goemon pointed out.

Xander shook his head.  "Not really.  I'm fine, guys, and we'll be fine.  She'll be coming home with the baby.  I'm not delivering this one.  I delivered the first two."  They chuckled at that and his wide-eyed look.  "Seriously, I'm not.  They said she's laying low because she expects one of us to pick her up immediately.  Give her two days."  He grinned like a politician. "And if she won't come back then we'll be delivering the baby down there from a mental hospital."  Goemon frowned at him.  "I'm not letting her hurt you again, big guy.  Get over it."  He looked at Jigen.  "That means you have to deal with the kids."

"Not a problem," Jigen assured him.  "Even the younger ones are good some of the time.  At least when they nap."

"Ah, but there is an ancient secret to getting them to stay in one spot for a while," Xander said, holding up a finger.  "Reading."  Jigen snickered.  "Seriously.  Books, books on tape, books on cd, they'll stay until they get bored."

"So, nothing epic, but the latest things would be fine?"

Xander nodded. "I was reading the kids the dictionary the other night to get them to sleep.  It was the only book I could find."

"I'll try it while you're gone," Jigen promised.  "Maybe it'll help save what's left of Lupin's sanity too."

"Hey, if we send the kids, Dawn's got to send hers or else her spouse will pout.  That means Gramps and she will be alone in the house for a while longer."

Goemon snorted.  "Probably not long enough.  Those two are like rabbits."

"Yeah, but they're trying to give the world enough cops to stop all of us," Jigen said dryly, smirking at him.  "Think about it.  There's us, the new group, the group the younger kids will probably make."  Goemon shivered.  "Exactly, man.  It'll be massively bad for the world of cops."

"Like we care?" Xander asked.

"True," Jigen agreed.  He patted Sarah on the head.  "You've got to see the doctor tomorrow.  Yes, you do."  She yawned up at him and blinked a few times.  "Sleep, little one.  You need it."  She settled in again, getting comfortable.  "Poor Murami, she's going to be playing pool for hours," Jigen said sadly.  "Lupin's on his own for a few hours and she's the only other adult present."

"I'm sure she can keep him in check," Goemon said.  He looked at Xander.  "How are you bringing her back?"

Xander grinned.  "Don't worry, it'll be good."

***

Xander felt the body behind him on the bike stir and pulled off to the side of the road, looking at her.   She shrieked under the full helmet so he lifted the visor.  "Running was the wrong thing to do, Fujiko.  Lupin sent me to get you."  He grinned and checked the chains that attached her to the bike, then the helmet.  Her hands were separated by the placement of the chains.  She was basically strapped to the back of the bike.  No harm to her or the baby.  Even her legs were secured.  The nice guards at the border had given him an odd look but he had shrugged and explained that she had run away with their baby.  Then he had patted her stomach and said that he was taking her home so they could argue in private and she could have the baby.  Then she could leave.  The guard had nodded and let him through and the French ones hadn't really looked at them.  So now they were on a back road in France, heading for the hideout.   It was rather odd, but she was settling in.  She was calmer now.  She was mumbling.

"What?"  He leaned closer and she repeated herself.  "Sure.  Next place we stop.  Of course, if you try to get away, I can easily shoot you so you're comatose but the baby's fine.  Remember that, all right?" he asked coolly.  He started the bike again and put down her visor before taking off.  As promised he did stop and let her use the bathroom but not even her pleading eyes at the waitress and truckers could help her get out of this one.  Xander leaned on the counter, smiling at the waitress with his best 'cute little boy' look.  "She ran with my baby.  I want the baby even if she doesn't want me.  I'm taking her home to make sure she doesn't hurt my son.  My first born son.  She threatened to kill herself by jumping off a bridge right before she ran away and I don't want that for my baby."  The waitress patted his hand and made sure the truckers left them alone on the way out.  He got her strapped back on, even though she struggled, then he climbed on and started the bike.  "Thank you."  He sped off.  "It'll take about two days to get home," he called back.  "That's okay though, they're not expecting us for a few days anyway."  She moaned something but he didn't hear her, he was speeding up.

***

Lupin finally made it home and looked around.  It was quiet.  It was too early to be nap time and it was quiet.  "Jigen?" he called, hand on the doorknob.

Melissa came out of the living room. "He's napping on the couch, Daddy."  She gave him a gentle and polite hug.  "Welcome home.  Did you have fun being by yourself?"

"I did, and it was invigorating," he assured her, giving her a squeeze.  "Let's go see the others."

"Uncle, we need to talk," she said firmly, leading the way to his office, where all important things were discussed.  "Are you mad at Arsene?"  He frowned, shaking his head.  "She thinks you want to get rid of us because of her mouth."

"I'd like it if her mouth calmed down," he admitted, "but I don't want to get rid of you guys.  What gave you that impression?"

"Daddy and Uncle Goemon were complaining about traveling with so many people, especially us.  Arsene thinks that we're imposing and being a bother. She's been very good.  She doesn't want to go to school."

Lupin raised an eyebrow, then smirked.  "Oh, school isn't a punishment, dear."  He pulled her closer again.  "School will teach you how to rule others.  You'll learn how to get along with people you don't know and be able to practice charming people who do know you.  I went to day school and I learned a lot from it about how to manage targets."

"They were talking about boarding school.  Sarah's sick and the littler kids need the parents so we were going to have a year at school.  Even daddy said so."

"Really?"  He looked a bit surprised.  Xander?  Boarding school?  "I promise, we'll talk about it and explain everything to you, but you can tell Arsene it's not about her mouth.  Got it?"  She nodded.  "Good girl.  Now, where is Xander?"

"Bringing back Auntie Fujiko.  They'll be back tonight sometime."

"Good.  Where is everyone else?"

"Most of us are watching tv with the younger kids.  Uncle Goemon is meditating in his room on the anger issues he has with his wife.  Lotus is outside with Uncle Marcus looking at the complexities of the garden.  And I'm here with you," she said happily.  He smirked down at her for being so transparent.  "It's not a bad thing?"

"No, sweetheart, it's not a bad thing.  School can be good for you if you take it the right way."  He patted her on the back.  "Come on.  We'll discuss the school thing tonight.  For now let's be happy about Arsene not trying to embarrass us."   He led her back to the living room, letting the kids mob him.  "Hey, guys.  Missed me?"  They nodded, those who understood, and the rest simply wanted a hug.  He got down on the floor with them, hugging each of them in turn so they wouldn't get jealous.  Then he settled in to watch cartoons with them.  "Why are the mice trying to take over the world?"

"Because they're like that," Arsene said quietly.

He kissed her on the side of the head.  "I don't like your mouth but that's not about that."  She gave him a long look and he nodded.  "Really.  It's more about letting you learn how to get along with people.  It's not a punishment, simply another step in your training."

"Okay, I can accept that then," she said quietly, shifting so she could lean against his side.  "Thank you, daddy."

"For what?"

"For coming back."

"Honey, I was going to come back.  It's just that sometimes adults need time to be someone other than the daddy.  You guys are wonderful and I wouldn't change it, but sometimes I want to be around big people and hear big people talk and those sort of things."

"That's fine then," she promised, snuggling in.  "The little mouse is the smart one."

"Thanks."  He settled in to watch with them, now that his precious ones weren't confused any longer.  When Jigen woke up, he glanced back.  "School?" he mouthed.  Jigen nodded.  "Why?" he asked patiently.  Jigen mouthed something back and Lupin shook his head.  Jigen nodded.  "No."

"It's better at this time, Lupin," Jigen said quietly.  "We'll talk later."  Lupin nodded, making sure he understood they would be.  "There's reasons."  He stood up and looked outside at the sound of a motorcycle.  "Sounds like Xander made really good time.  Let me help him with her."  He walked outside, watching as Xander pulled up.  Fujiko was locked down so she couldn't move. "How did you get her past customs?"

Xander took off his helmet. "By saying he had run away with my kid and that I was taking him home so she couldn't hurt him or herself."  He fluffed out his damp hair.  "Let's get her inside and upstairs.  I could use a nap."  Jigen nodded, coming over to help undo Fujiko.

"Jigen, get him away from me, he threatened to hurt me," Fujiko demanded once the helmet was off.  "He threatened to kill me twice."

"No, I threatened to shoot you so you'd go into a coma and the baby would be fine," Xander corrected, "and I said it three times."  He grinned suddenly, looking toward the house.  "Good thing you didn't want me to prove it, huh?"  He produced the keys so they could undo the locks, then marched her up to her room, where she was let inside and locked in.  "Is it thief-proof?"

Jigen nodded.  "Goemon and I made sure last night. Lupin's back too.   He wasn't thrilled with the school ideas."

"Yeah, me either, but it'll help, ya know?"  He fanned his sweaty hair again as he walked down the stairs.  "I'm back and she's still living," he announced as he walked in.  "She was not a bit of trouble on the trip."  He smiled at Lupin.  "Hug?"  Lupin held up an arm so Xander got a hug.  "Another mission accomplished, though quite without subtlety. We can chat later."  He headed up to his room, taking a shower before falling into his bed.  He hadn't dared sleep when she was undone.  It had been a long few days.  He was asleep within a few minutes, long before any of the kids could sneak up to cuddle him.

Savannah turned around and went back downstairs.  "He's napping," she informed the other kids.

"He probably didn't sleep while he had our mother," Lotus said bitterly.

"I heard her say he threatened her," Ishi said quietly, glancing around.  The adults were in the kitchen at the moment.  "I'm not sure if I should be upset about that or not.  She probably needed it, but she is my mother and I feel I should be upset, but I know how she can be so she probably deserved it."

Lotus patted him on the arm.  "However you feel is right for you," she promised.  "I want to cheer him on, even if he really did hurt her at the moment."

"Kids," Lupin warned as he walked in.  "No more talking like that.  We shouldn't hurt her because she's afraid of being a mother.  We should hurt her for her actions on occasion, but not for those."

"She was perfectly willing to let our baby brother die," Lotus said firmly.

"We never would have let that happen, and neither would you.  Even with the worst headache in history, Xander still tried to help now and then, even though your plan did call for her doing all the work herself.  Some people aren't meant to be mothers.  Your mother is one of them."  He looked at the other kids.  "You leave Fujiko to us, guys.  No tormenting, no taunting, no plans, nothing.  Unless you really want to talk to her, let her sleep."  They all nodded, but he could see Arsene's fingers crossed.  "None of that either, empress.  We leave her alone.  If she wants to leave after the baby's born then that's her thing."  They all sighed and nodded.  "Thank you.  Now, who knew what I was ordering for dinner?  I forgot."

"Pizza," Melissa suggested hopefully.

"You lost the toss," Sierra said, frowning at her.  "Brat.  We won and we wanted Cantonese."

"We can have pizza within the next few days," Jigen said as he walked past the doorway.  "No pouting.  Xander asleep?"

"Yup," Savannah called, smiling when her father came back.  "Crashed on his stomach with his face in the pillows and he's *snoring*."

"Then I guess we won't have to worry about leftovers for him," Lupin agreed.  "Where did I put the sheet with the food order?"  Jigen handed it over.  "Thank you.  Why didn't you call it in?"

"I did, I got you your usual and I got Goemon his usual," he said smugly, heading to the work area.  "I'm going to do something important."

"Another crossword puzzle?" Sierra asked hopefully.

"Later, kitten.  Right now, I've got to sweep the house for bugs."

"I'll help," Ishi offered, getting up and jogging after him to help.  He hugged him.  "Do I want to hurt her or not?"

"You're a kid and she's your mom.  It's always complicated," he assured the boy.  "Next time, you'll want to hurt her more probably.  It seems to build."

"Why is Uncle Xander asleep?"

"Would you sleep if it was just you and your mom and she was trying to get away?"

Ishi shook his head immediately.  "Not if she was trying to get away."

"Then that's your answer."  He ruffled the dark hair.  "There, now you look more like your uncle and less like your dad."

"My father would shit ponies if he heard you say that," he said with a bright grin.

"I've never heard it put that way before," Lupin said from the doorway.  "Did you remember to order extra duck sauce?"

"Lupin, we've been partners for how long?" Jigen asked.

"Never mind," Lupin said happily, heading to his office to work on their next set of plans.

"Hand me the phone," Jigen hissed, making Ishi laugh but hand it over.  He dialed the number from memory.  "Did I remember to ask for extra duck sauce on the Lupin order?  Yeah, extra all the sauces but soy.  And chopsticks?"  He nodded.  "Thanks."  He hung up.  "I swear, one of these days I'll forget my hat."

Ishi gave him a gentle nudge. "That would require you to take it off."  He grabbed one of the detectors. "I'll take the third floor and work down, meet you in the bedrooms."  He headed off, jogging up the stairs.

"Better you than me kid, you've got better knees," Jigen told the empty room.  He grabbed his detector and started in the kitchen, the most likely place for bugs.  He didn't sweep Lupin's office, he'd be cranky if he was interrupted while he was working.

Outside, the Interpol officers were marveling at the plans.  "How does he do that?" Ray asked his boss. "We can't even get closer than five inches from it with a warrant."

"Easy, he's a Lupin and they're good at that," Zenigata said bitterly.  "Too bad they're off limits for anything old.  I just know he'll pull something soon though, I know it.  He can't resist."

"Sure, boss, whatever you say," Ray agreed.  This man had offered him twice his salary, he had jumped on it right away.  It wasn't so different from Chicago, they just had a bigger precinct.

***

Lupin walked out of Fujiko's room and looked at Xander.  "You threatened to kill her?"

"No, I threatened to put her in a coma until the baby was born," Xander said bitterly.  "Why?"

"You probably shouldn't have threatened her."

Xander stepped closer.  "Lupin, she hurt Goemon.  She hurt him tons.  I don't like it when people hurt my friends, it makes me upset.  If this was another criminal, you'd be all for hunting them down."

"Yes, but she's not," he said tolerantly.  "We can't hurt her."

"We can hurt her.  Especially if she tries to run again.  What do you think Goemon's going to do if she hurts his son?"

"He'd be a lot more pissed to be made a widow."

"Maybe, but I'm willing to take that chance," Xander said, turning around and heading for his room.  He slammed his door and stared at his closet.

Lupin walked in and shut the door more quietly.  "You leave this house before we all go or without an assignment and I'm going to hunt you down and paint you pink," he warned.  "Right before I put you in the biggest gay bar I can find."  Xander frowned at him.  "I mean it.  I know that your standard answer is to run when things go bad so you don't have to fight over personal things.  That's not going to happen anymore, Xander.  We need you here.  We need you around.  We need you to soothe that crying brat in the other room," he sighed when Sarah started again.  "Please?" he begged.

"Again, I'm not the nanny."

"No, but she's your daughter."

"I know that.  And I'm predicting Jigen's got her already."  Lupin looked out the door and Jigen came out of the nursery with the fussing baby.  "Was I right?"  Lupin nodded. "Good thing you didn't put money on it, huh?" he asked dryly.  He shook out his hair.  "I don't want to fight.  We both know this."

"I know, which is why I wasn't arguing, simply stating my case."

"Which is fighting, Lupin," Xander pointed out.  "You may not have been shouting but I refuse to have fights with the kids here."

"Normal couples fight, Xander."

"No they don't."

"Yeah, they do.  Trust me on this."  He stepped closer slowly.  "Your parents fought?"

"Like cats and dogs."

"I'm sorry about that.  That's not normal, nor is the shouting, screaming, or slamming things.  Leaving isn't a better answer though.  The kids will start to feel abandoned.  They're already worried that you want to send them to school for being smart mouthed."

"Well, I did figure it might tame that some, but that wasn't the reason."

"I know, I asked Goemon.  It is a good idea, I can agree with that."  He gave him a hopeful smile.  "Now, can we please get over this?  You really shouldn't have threatened Fujiko and doing so made her even more determined to get away."

"Which means she won't be pouting and sulking in there," he pointed out.  "I didn't get any sleep on the way back but I didn't expect to."  Lupin nodded.  "Are you done?"  Lupin nodded.  "Good.  Do we have a job coming up soon?"

"I was going to teach the thieves among the kids how to case a museum tomorrow.  I figured you'd probably take the other two to do good guy things since I'm not sure what good guys do."

"We do go to museums, Lupin," he said, rolling his eyes.  "Good guys are the same as bad guys; it's only their jobs that are different.   Mostly they're the same though."  Lupin shrugged, he had no idea.  "We'll take them all to the museum and let them run free, then we should take them to a less boring place.  Maybe the children's museum or somewhere fun like that.  Maybe an arcade."

"Okay," he agreed happily.  "As long as we don't get stuck with them by ourselves."

"Do you want me to hire a second nanny?" he sighed. "I'm sorry as hell that Janus made me so fertile.  I had no idea I was fertile at all and then it kept going after he promised to stop it.  I love the kids, but I'm sorry if you're disturbed by them."

"I'm not," Lupin said gently, giving him another hopeful smile.  "I love the kids, overwhelming though they are most of the time.  As they get older, it'll get easier, but for right now most of them are very clingy, very boisterous, and very in need of personalized attention.  I'm not sure I have the strength to do all that every day."  Xander snorted, sitting on his old bed to look up at him.  "I don't know where you get the energy, Xander.  I really don't."

"Even I take breaks from the kids, Lupin.  That's why we have a nanny, so none of us have to be perpetual parents.  I know you miss your carefree bachelor days.  Give it a few years and you'll have it back."

"Hey, I'm not complaining," he offered.  "I love the kids.  I even love being attacked by them before my morning coffee.  The little guys are great.  They're like a force of destruction each and every time we unleash them on somewhere.  Hell, they make a great cover too.  I thought about pulling jobs by letting them run wild somewhere as a cover actually."  He grinned.  "But you're right, I'll be happier when they're all teenagers.  That's why I'm having myself fixed next week."

"I'm not getting back into that choker."

"Ever?"  Xander shrugged.  "Why not?"

"Because I started to get confused about which one I was.  I wasn't Xander, Lavelle, or Sylvia, I was some odd hermaphrodite in between. Besides, Jigen only liked me when I had it on.   You didn't really seem to care, but you liked me more as a partner when I had it on.  I like being male.  I like having boy parts and male feelings.  Screw being a girl, I hated having tits."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Would it have changed anything?"

"Probably!  We wouldn't have even suggested it, Xander."

"Well, now you know.  It'll only be for special occasions, like special birthdays, anniversaries, and rescues."  Lupin frowned at him.  "They are special occasions."

"True," Lupin agreed tiredly.  He rubbed his face.  "Xander, we wouldn't have let you wear it as often as you did if we had known it was bothering you or that you were starting to have doubts about yourself.  We didn't want that."

Xander stood up, looking at him.  "Then what would have happened?" he asked quietly.  He shrugged at the shocked look once Lupin figured out what he meant.  "It was worth it then, it's not now.  I'm sorry, but it's not."

"It's not a problem," Lupin promised.  "I don't want you in it if you're having doubts about your sense of self.  I never wanted that, got it?"  Xander nodded, looking calm.  "Good.  Now come to bed.  I don't want you working out at night."

"Someone has to stay up to make sure she doesn't sneak out."

"I set the alarm.  Besides, Goemon's thinking about going in to talk to her some more."

"It's too soon," Xander told him.  "Even if I hadn't drug her back, she won't listen to him yet."

"I know, so does he," he soothed.  "Come on, let's go to bed.  Hopefully without the kids."  He drug Xander with him.  "You think a second nanny might help?"

"Yes," Bix called from the nursery.  She came out wiping her hands off.  "We've got another case of diarrhea, Lupin.  I'm going to have to run out for diapers before the morning."  He handed over the keys and she looked at them like they were aliens.  "I don't drive."  She handed them back with a frown. "Cars weren't around when I was born, remember?"  She looked at Xander.  "You up to taking me out so you can get some ice cream?"

"Sure," he agreed, taking the keys.  "Do we have money?"

"I raided the diaper fund," she agreed, following him down the stairs.  Once they were in the car, she shifted to look at him.  "I agree, Xander.  Don't let them pressure you into using it before you're ready.  It's a wonderful gift but too much use will probably keep bothering you.  You're not the gift that keeps on giving.  You're their lover and they should respect that, no matter which body you're in.  You're a wonderful gunman and thief from what I can see."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Bix, but I'm fine."

"I'm sure you are," she agreed, smiling at him.  She leaned over to kiss his cheek.  "You're fine and all's right with the world.  At least for now."  She settled back into her seat.  "Now, am I forgetting anything?"

"Diapers, formula?"

"That's it, formula.  That and we'll need some baby cereal too.  Maybe some cans of food or some canned fruit."  She shrugged.  "Everything we should be able to find at a single store."

"Good, because the only thing that's open is a convenience store this time of night," he pointed out as he pulled into one.  "Want my help?"

"Sure.  You can help carry."  She slid out and he followed, leaving the car running.  The clerk gave them a scared look and she grinned back at Xander, then at him.  "Relax, we're buying diapers for the kids."

"Okay," he agreed, eyes wide.  "Do you want me to try and open the safe or just the registers?"

"Dude, why would I want to rob this place?  It does almost no business at night," Xander said, staring him down.  He grabbed the packs of diapers Bix handed him and two cans of formula, letting her pick out the jars of baby food and boxes of cereal.  He heaved them all to the front, putting them on the counter.

"Ca...ash or charge?" the clerk gulped.

Xander sighed, looking upward for a second, then looked at him.  "Kid, if I was going to rob you, you'd already be tied up in the office.  Relax.  Your little place here is convenient but not real busy.  I'd probably only get a few hundred dollars.  I don't need or want it.  So just calm down so we can get stuff for the baby.  Okay?" he asked, smiling at him.  He heard the sound of water hitting the floor and snickered.  "Dude, I'm not even carrying at the moment.  Calm down.  There was no reason for that."

Bix joined him, mentally tallying the purchases.  "Grab another pack of diapers.  We'll leave the money here for when he calms down," she suggested.  He nodded, jogging to get them, then taking everything out to the trunk of the car while she packed up the baby food.  She placed the money in front of him. "Here," she said gently.  "For whenever you're ready and calm again.  Diapers are all gone by the way."  She walked out, getting into the back to put the bag up.  Then she slid in again.  "That was odd.  Do you often cause people to wet themselves in fear?"

He shrugged. "Usually I'm not around long enough to find out," he admitted, backing the car up and zipping off.  "I hope he doesn't try to report this.  It'd cause unnecessary problems."

"I'm sure he won't.  We left the money and the tapes would back us up," she assured him, patting him on the thigh.  "Well, you do have muscles.  I never see them."

"Sorry, baggy clothes are better sometimes," he admitted, shifting up.  "Um, Bix, hands off my thigh please?  I'm not real comfy with that."  She blushed and withdrew her hand.  "Thanks.  I haven't been hit on in years."  He shifted down as they came to the gate, zooming through it so it could close behind them.  He backed the car up, letting the gates open again, then pulled up beside the fairly obvious van, reaching over to open the door.  "We left money for the kid, but he was scared to death," he called.  Then he slammed the door and headed forward again to park the car.  He made sure the security system was back on and the gates were electrified, then helped her haul everything up to the nursery, where Jigen was fighting a losing battle with Fred and his fountain.  "Hey," he said, tickling him.  "You behave so we can put a new diaper on you.  Then you can nap and wake us up in the morning.  Yes, you can," he cooed.  Fred quit being obstinate and let them diaper him with one of the new ones.  "There, that's my good boy," he purred, patting him on the back for a few minutes before laying him down and covering him.  "You nap.  We'll bring Sarah back soon."  Fred gave him an adoring look but did stay there without fussing. "You wouldn't believe it.  The kid at the store thought we were there to rob him.  Wet himself in front of Bix."

"Interesting," Jigen agreed, shutting off the main light, she had a light on in the bathroom, she could use that for now.  He drug Xander back to their bedroom, letting him take Sarah.  She belched a few times for him then obediently went to bed as well.  Jigen drug Xander back into their room and locked the door. He even remembered the chain so none of the little lock picks could get in.  "He said the kid wet himself."

"Cool," Lupin agreed, smirking at him.  "That reading thing really does work.  Thanks for letting us know about that."  Xander nodded.  "Aren't you coming to bed?"  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"Because I wanted to sleep?" he suggested.

"We won't molest you, Xan.  Get into the bed," Jigen ordered, pointing at the spot between them.  "Now."

"Okay then.  I wasn't aware we were married again."

Lupin gave him a long look.  "I thought it was a foregone conclusion but we can do it again if you insist.  Hopefully without the potion and the drunken stupor that night."  He pulled Xander down and stripped him, tossing everything toward the basket.  "There, much better."  He put his book aside and snuggled up to Xander's side, stroking his stomach.  "I had no idea you were so well-muscled."

"Neither did Bix until she patted my thigh."

Jigen looked at the boy's thighs, then nodded.  "Pretty nice.  You need some definition to be a bodybuilder but you look like a runner right now."

"Well, I have been doing that," he pointed out.

"You need to sleep more," Lupin ordered.  "Start now."  He closed his eyes.

Jigen wrapped an arm around Xander's waist.  "Night, Xan."

"Night, Jigen," he sighed.  The lights were turned off and he waited until he heard snoring then carefully slid out of the bed and headed down the stairs.  He met Ishi in the hallway, and frowned at him.  "Reason for being up?"

"Can't sleep.  You?"

"I only get four hours a night, kid.  Come on, let's work out outside.  We'll be really quiet."  Ishi nodded and followed him outside, picking a spot that couldn't be seen from any of the windows and that no one could hear anything if they chatted.  "So, why can't you sleep?"

"I've just figured out that my life sucks.  I won't be able to make any friends at whatever school you send us to."

"Why would that be?" he asked, stretching his arms.  "Hand-to-hand?"  Ishi nodded and assumed a defensive position.  "I don't attack first."  The boy shrugged and attacked so Xander blocked his kick and hit back.  "Why can't you make friends?"

"Because no one would understand me.  I don't understand myself."

"Hey, I don't understand you but we're buddies, right?" he asked, blocking another hit.  "For real, Ishi."

"Yeah, I guess we are," he agreed, actually trying to hit his uncle now.  "But kids are different."

"Only for the first few months.  Then you'll meet someone who thinks you're odd but neat."  He grinned as he ducked a blow and spun around to catch the boy and toss him onto the ground.  "Get up.  Let's go for real.  No one can hear us."

"Really?"

"Really.  I know all the dodges and I know you've been holding back again."  Ishi had the grace to look embarrassed.  "So show me.  I'm not your dad, I won't judge you.  I can probably help with some of it."

"I've been watching how you and Marcus fight and picking up on some of that," Ishi admitted, attacking like Xander would.  The older guy grinned and attacked back, really going at it.  "Easy!  I'm still a kid."

"Sure you are.  A samurai in an eleven-year-old body."

"I won't be eleven for another four months," Ishi reminded him, letting himself attack harder.  "You're good."

"Yup, and your father still has no idea," he said with a catty smirk.  "I'm not worried about disappointing him, I don't like to look stupid in front of others. That's why I hate public speaking."  He attacked first this time, making Ishi back off and block, but he was doing it well.  "You need to do that faster."

Ishi sighed and sped up his attacks, really going at it.  "It's much nicer working out with you than Father.  It's like he expects so much and I can't live up to it."

"He only expects you to be yourself," Xander instructed.  "Trust me, he's never expected me to be anything other than Xander or Lavelle, whichever I'm doing at the time."

"Demara thinks you have multiple personalities."

"She might be right," he admitted.  "At least borderline.  Fortunately I'm not bad enough where they try to take over for each other.  It's more like a comfy suit to me."  He ducked a good flying kick and scored on Ishi, wincing.  "Sorry.  I'll help you hide the black eye tomorrow."

"I'll tell Father I hit myself in my sleep.  I've been doing that recently. That and the growing pains."

"Oh, I remember.  Those used to be the only thing that would ever wake me."

"You wake up really easy."

"Now.  It was a survival thing, Ishi.  Don't ask me to explain."  The boy backed off, looking worried.  "Don't worry about it, kiddo.  It was before you were born or thought of.  Got it?"  Ishi nodded and lunged, attacking again.  Xander got him on the chest, making him gasp.  "You okay?"

"Fine," Ishi panted.  "Don't hit so hard," he whined.

"Sorry, kiddo.  I'll go easier on you from now on.  Unless you want to go to bed with an ice pack."

"No, I'm still not tired.  My mind's running around in circles," he admitted, straightening up so he could attack again.  "There, better," he decided, attacking faster.  Xander beamed and threw in a move Ishi hadn't seen.  "That's cool.  Teach me that?"

"Sure!" he agreed happily, stopping the fight to teach the boy his special moves.  "When you're good enough with your sword, I'll teach you that spinning attack I do too."

"Coolness.  You're a great uncle, Xan."  He hugged him and moved through it slowly, letting Xander shift his shoulder out and move his arm for him.  "Wow.  I never even thought of a roundhouse punch in that way."

Xander beamed.  "I know, it's pretty cool.  You should see Marcus when he goes full demon."  He showed off another one, which was weaker.  "I usually do that one coming out of a back handspring."  He did it over, this time with the tumble and Ishi gasped, giving him an adoring look.  "So now you've got to learn some gymnastics too," he said smugly.

"Okay.  Can you teach me that?"

"Some.  Your mother taught me what I didn't learn off watching events on ESPN.  We can do that later.  The girls can start you on cartwheels and tumbling."

"Sure.  It'd be nice not to be the teacher for a bit."  He followed the next few moves, getting into this new style.  It wasn't what his father did, but it was quite interesting and useful.  He could already see the uses for it the next time he wanted to surprise his father.

***

Goemon walked into the dining room and paused to look at his son.  "How did you get the black eye?"

"Hit myself while I was asleep," he lied, sipping his juice.  "Uncle Xander and I met in the kitchen last night.  He suggested I learn some minor tumbling as well, that the girls could help me with that.  Would that be all right?"

"It would be fine," he agreed.  "You both need to sleep more at night however."

Jigen and Lupin walked in.  "Why do you have a black eye?" Lupin asked.  "Did someone hit you?"

"I did while I was asleep.  It's from the growing pains I've been having."  Ishi stood up.  "I'll warm up while you eat, father."

"Sit, son."  Goemon sat beside him, moving his robe to look at the other bruise.  "That was from what?"  His son gave him a helpless look.  "Is someone beating you?"

"No, I was learning something new," Ishi admitted, sounding as pitiful as he could.  "Please don't be mad?"

"Xander!" Goemon snapped.  Xander came in from the kitchen with the coffee pot.  "What did you hit him with?"

"A half-strength heel strike.  I misjudged how far off he was.  He said he was okay."  He gave his teacher the puppy eyed look.  "Please don't be mad, I told him to get an ice pack."

"I'm not.  Simply wondering what you were teaching my son this time," he said dryly,          staring the younger man down. " I believe it's time you showed me these moves, son."  Xander would fuss and not do everything, his son was young enough to want to show off.  "All of them if you wouldn't mind."

"I can't do a back handspring," Ishi pointed out.  Goemon groaned and shook his head. "It's a brilliant attack, Father."

"Xander, you will show me that one," Goemon said, standing up.

"I haven't had caffeine yet, are you sure you want to do this now?" he asked, waving the pot around.  Jigen took it and his mug from him.  "Fine, now is good," he agreed, leading the way to the room with the mats for practice.  "Just in case, I don't want to misjudge and hurt you too," he explained.  "Out!" he ordered, pointing.  Everyone left and he reached up to disconnect the cameras.  "All of them?"

"All of them," Goemon said firmly. "Every hidden trick that you're going to teach my children.  Each and every single move, Xander.  Now."

Xander sighed and took off his shirt, then did a forward handspring and attacked his teacher, making him go on the defensive.  Goemon looked startled but did block that one, backing up a few steps.  Xander continued, driving him back to the wall.  Goemon ducked one and Xander caught him around the waist, tossing him onto the mat.  "Sorry, I used to watch wrestling too.  All that spandex."  He grinned down at his teacher.  "Should I go on?"

"Definitely," he said as he stood up, moving back to the center of the room.  "We will see how good you really are.  All the way, Xander.  I can protect myself against you."

Xander shrugged and attacked again, this time coming in low and hitting him hard, but Goemon was barely touched.  He moved out of the way and Xander followed, expending himself chasing him, mostly.  He did get in a few good blows, including the same one that gave Ishi his black eye.  "Sorry, teacher."

"Keep going," he said firmly.  "All of them, Xander."  Xander tried the puppy eyes again.  "It's not working."  Xander groaned and nodded, hanging his head.  He took a deep breath and launched into a series of all the moves, going smoothly, yet quite fast.  Goemon was blocking well enough but the few that required tumbling made him move.  The others were fairly well taken.  Goemon finally stepped away from him when he repeated. "Is that all?"  Xander nodded, grinning at him.  "Then you do those quite well.  You may teach my son all of those, but make sure he uses the safety equipment to learn how to do the tumbling.  That flip backwards to gain some space then rushing in again was quite good.  Are there any more sword moves?"  Xander nodded.  "We'll look at them tomorrow.  Today, you have the day off."  He opened the door and walked out, rubbing his stomach.  "I passed him out of hand-to-hand," he announced as he walked into the dining room.  Marcus choked on his sip of water, giving him a horrified look.  "He is very good.  Son, use the safety equipment to learn how to tumble."

"Yes, Father.  Did you get to see the new sword moves too?  He showed me a few of those."

"I'll be seeing those tomorrow. You are not to run off and practice without a monitor again.  He'll be teaching you with Marcus from now on."

"Yes, Father," he said happily.

"Yes, Goemon," Marcus said.  He frowned at Xander.  "When did you learn things like that?"

"I figured some stuff out and I'm a master at watching martial arts movies and cartoons.  I picked stuff up.  There, ESPN and gymnastic events, Star Wars, wrestling, all sorts of places.  They've been going around in my head now for a while."

"You'll have to show me so I can find a counter," Marcus said.

"Most counters are the standard ones," Goemon assured him.  "You are nearly there.  Then we'll move onto something else."

"I am?"

"You are," Goemon said firmly.  "Eat.  Ishi, I will see these moves that you've learned so far."

"Yes, father.  He taught me sixty but I'm only really good in about a third of them."  His father raised an eyebrow. "I know, you wanted to see them before they hurt me.  I'll go through them today like a kata.  How's that?"

"Excellent.  Do the same, Xander.  Add them to your daily routine."  Xander nodded, sipping his coffee.  "Thank you."  He looked at Marcus.  "You are still ahead in your sword," he promised.  "We'll be passing you from my teaching soon.  By the holidays probably."

"Thank you, Master."  Marcus smirked at Xander.  "Now we have to find you a sword."

"I've got one ordered," Xander admitted.

"Your own Tetsiga?" Marcus teased.

"What does that mean?" Goemon asked.

"I always thought it meant demon's tooth, since it was made from one, but I haven't found anyone who can translate it for me yet," Xander admitted.  "It was Inuyasha's."

"Ah.  The one you go around as at those things you go to."

"Xander, the very fact that you're that involved means that I should take your anime from you," Lupin warned nicely.

Xander glared at him.  "You do know I haven't had much caffeine yet, just got into a major battle, and that people who take my anime end up dead?  Like those people in Paris who tried to rob me after ParisCon found out?"

"The very fact that you can say that with a straight face means that you're addicted and that you should not have any more anime at all," Jigen pointed out.  "We should ban it from the house."

"Try it, see how it is to go without sex for the rest of your lives," Xander said sweetly.

"Xander, there's this thing called reality and we'd like to have you join us.  You're fixated on this half-demon creature," Lupin pointed out.  "I don't like it.  It's like you're being mental or something."

"I am not!"

"Then go without your anime for one month."

"Sure, if you go without sex," Xander said smoothly. "'Cause try it, it'll dry up faster than anything."

"We're trying to help," Lupin tried.

Xander stood up, looking down at him.  "Take away my anime, find out how wonderful that choker feels, Lupin.  Not that you'll need it after I cut your dick off, but I'm sure it'll make you feel better to be a full girl."  He walked away, heading up to his room to sulk.

"The problem with his like of anime is?" Goemon asked.

"That he goes places, dresses up as this half-demon, and does things like learn off the cartoons," Jigen told him.  "It's like he wants to be the creature."

"He is about the same as a half demon," Ishi pointed out.  "Perhaps he feels kinship?  Besides, he's learned more off other anime and manga than Inuyasha.  He's learned from a great number of them actually."  He picked up some more eggs, adding them to his plate.  "You really should apologize.  He's probably packing again."

Jigen stood up.  "You want this one?"

"Yeah I do," Lupin said, standing up and heading up the stairs.  "Xander?"  Xander threw the lock and the chain on his door.  "Let me in, Xander.  This is my house, you are my husband."

Xander opened the door, glaring at him.  "I think we had this discussion last night, Arsene.  I'm not your spouse here.  Nor am I your slave.  When looking I don't see a ring or a collar that would mark me as your property and something you could give orders to. I can feel enjoyment from other things than you you know."  He slammed the door and got the lock thrown before Lupin could try to get it open.  He did up the chain as his lover got the doorhandle open.  "Out!"

"No!  Open this door or I'm tossing it all out!"  Xander spit so he pulled back and kicked it in, walking in and slamming it behind him.  "You're addicted, Xander.  That character isn't healthy for you and we're trying to be nice about it.  You need to give up the anime and all that stuff.  Before you become so submersed that you can't come back out."

"Oh, bite me!" Xander said angrily.  "I like my anime, it makes me happy, Lupin.  It makes me laugh.  It makes me want to read.  It makes me have fun.  Things you're not."  Lupin looked stunned.  "So, the Xander's anime stuff will be staying, or else Xander and his anime will be going together.  Take your pick but do it damn fast so I can find a room for the week."

Lupin's mouth fell open. "You'd leave me over this?"  Xander nodded.  "I don't make you have fun?"

"No, hardly ever.  You treat me like Fujiko does most of the time, I'm there.  Well, guess what, I'm not there.  I'm here.  I'm human, believe it or not, and you've just crossed the line from lover to keeper.  I'm not having it.  I don't need a keeper.  A lover, a friend, even occasionally a boss, not a keeper.  Not a master.  Nothing like that.  So choose!"  He sat down, staring at him, arms crossed over his chest.  "Well?"

"I don't want you to go, Xander.  It's just bothering me that you're identifying with a half- demon!"

"Then maybe you should actually watch it with me and see what I do," Xander said coldly.  "Then again, it might be a cold day in hell before I let you curl up with me ever again."  He stood up again, poking Lupin in the chest.  His finger was caught and Lupin pulled him in for a deep kiss.  "Get off."  He shoved him back.  "I'll have you know that before I got white hair, I went as another character.  Another supernatural one.  Now, my hair happens to be white, like his.  It means I have an easier time winning the costume contests.  After all, there's not many characters with white hair, nor many who look like a freak!"

"You don't," Lupin said calmly, letting him rant.

"I do so!  What guy my age has a full head of white hair?  What of them has scars like I do or the lack of feeling here and there that I do?  Huh?  I'm a fucking freak, Lupin, and I've finally come to grips with it.  Inuyasha is my way of letting go.  It's fun.  It's companionship with people who *want* to understand me and usually do without trying.  Unlike you and Jigen, the world to me doesn't revolve around gold, gems, and artwork.  I have other interests.  I'm sorry if that bothers you, but that's who I am.  Who I've always been.  Jigen knew I went to the cons about six months after he took me in.  I left him to go to one in Sacramento.  I won there too, only as a Marvel character."

"I didn't know you did costume contests.  You never said anything," he said, looking faintly shocked, better than before.

"You never asked!  You never showed an interest!  You think I'm some little kid, well yay.  I like my comics and my anime.  I like most of my life, but I'm starting to regret some things, namely ever rolling over for you."

Lupin winced and sighed, sitting on the bed.  "I'm sorry, Xander.  Sit, talk like civilized people?"

"No."  He backed away.  "I'm not going to be sweet talked into giving in.  I am allowed my own life, Lupin.  I can make my own decisions and usually do a damn good job of it.  You can either accept that or not.  It's getting to the point where I don't care anymore."  Lupin nodded, giving him a long stare.  "Fine.  What?"

Lupin cleared his throat. "You never shared that with me."

"You never asked."

"I tried once or twice."

"Try next time during the commercial, not when I'm watching the stuff?" Xander suggested bitterly.  "The same as I know better than to talk to you when you're watching that show where they go through all the famous homes on A&E."

"Okay, I can do that," Lupin agreed.  "Can we please not fight?  I hate fighting.  I really, really hate fighting.  This is why I didn't take a full-time lover before you.  I didn't want to do this stuff."

"Fine.  Next time don't *order* me to give up part of my life because you don't understand."

Lupin stood up, looking in his eyes.  "Then make me understand.  I'm asking now, there's no anime on, nothing to distract you.  I have no idea what you get out of this stuff.  I've never been that big of a fan of anything.  Maybe I'm missing something.  All I was saying downstairs was that particular character was worrying to me," he finished calmly.  "He's a half-demon and I know you still associate with some of them.  I'm worried that you're associating yourself with him.  That you want to be like him."

"Why would I want to be an uncontrolled, surly, nasty guy with a sword that's too heavy for him half of the season?  Or for that matter, chase around a reborn spirit and his formerly dead lover?  I don't need that in my life, thank you."  He stepped back.  "If you want to understand, I'll show you."

"Good.  I'd like that.  Today?"

"Or tomorrow," Xander admitted, checking his calendar.  "There's a convention coming next week.  We can go then if you want."  He looked at Lupin again, who shrugged.  "That's fine.  I'll bring you with me.  This one's a multi-fandom and anime one.  Goemon can go look at the Vulcans, you and Jigen can follow me around while Marcus cowers upstairs."

"Hey, I can do that.  Do I need to dress up?"  Xander gave him a long look.  "Fine, I don't know enough yet to do that.  I'll follow you around and take notes if I have to."

"Then you'd look like those people who come to study us," Xander said dryly.  "We've had a few of them doing papers for their Humanities classes."

"I can understand that.  You are a very unusual subgroup that is probably interesting to study.  Most subgroups don't equate their group affiliation with fake characters."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "I know you understood that."

"I did, and it's not totally like that.  More like we want to be more like a certain type of character.  At the Star Wars ones, you find a lot of people who are Jedi, but who aren't necessarily any one Jedi."

"Oh."  He nodded. "That makes more sense.  Then what about guys like you, who do identify?"

"Some do want to be more like their characters.  Inuyasha is one of the few I can pull off easily and I do good as him."

"Okay.  So you would be others if you could change your hair color and things?"

"Yeah."  He smirked.  "See, it's not that hard to understand.  It's also not an addiction."

"If you say so.  If I find out differently, then your anime is being packed up and put into storage until you're better and we'll dole it out slowly.  I've been watching you, Xan. You spend about a third of your cut on your hobby."

"Tell that to the train collector who pays six hundred dollars for a single car and then spends thousands to build their own world for their beloved trains," he said dryly.

"I've always thought they needed help."

"Then you're probably going to hate the convention and if you try to take my anime, we're through," Xander said simply.  "If you can't understand me, why are we dating?"

"Because you make me happy?  You give me good ideas, you make me laugh and want to play, you've taken the tedium out of the job.  I thought you knew that."  Xander nodded. "That's not enough?"

"Sounds kinda one sided, Lupin."

"I thought I made you happy too," he said, trying not to sound desperate.  Maybe he should have stuck with someone so he understood how arguments went when you're a couple.  "Don't I usually make you happy?"  Xander wiggled a hand in the air.  "Is that because I don't spoil you or because I'm doing something wrong?"

"See, you can ask me things," Xander said happily. "It's a wonderful change."

"I don't ask you things?"

"No, you act like the boss you are during a job most of the time.  Other boyfriends get toys and treats.  They get nice dinners.  They get talked to for no reason.  That's one I'd like to happen actually."

Lupin nodded, he could understand that.  "I'm sorry if I haven't.  I know you're not invisible."

"Good.  It's a good place to start," Xander said firmly.  He frowned and picked up his cell, finding a number in his phonebook to call.  "Jerry?  Are any of us in town yet?  My boyfriend is not of the understanding me sort."  He listened.  "Hey, that's fine.  Oh, yeah, that's fine.  I'm staying in the hotel so I'll just reserve my room for a few extra days.  Thanks, man, see you there."  He hung up.  "We're going to be there Sunday night.  The convention doesn't start until Thursday but some of the pre-events are pretty neat and you'll like them more anyway.  You must promise me that anything you learn there will not be used for a job.  It's the same promise I had to make."

"I don't want someone's comic collection anyway," he assured him.  "Sunday?  What about the kids?  Or didn't you want to bring Jigen?"

"I'll bring Jigen to the one in Geneva.  It's the same convention, it travels around."

"Okay."  He nodded.  "What should I bring?"

"Clothes."  He smirked.  "Normal, human clothes."

"Sure.  I'll pack casual stuff and only one suit."  He gave Xander a hug, looking much happier.  "Thank you for being willing to explain it to me, Xander."  He left, going to talk to the others.  "Xander's going to explain this whole anime thing to me at the next convention.  We're leaving early Sunday.  We'll be gone a week."

"Can I go!" Arsene yelled.  "I wanna be a Powerpuff Girl!"

"That's next month!" Xander called back.

"Cool.  We'll be really good for Bix and Uncle Goemon," Arsene promised.  "I won't mouth off or anything."

Lupin smiled. "Thanks. You may get Jigen too.  Xander said he was taking him to Geneva.  It's the same event, it travels.  Goemon, you were invited to the one next month as well."  Goemon gave him a long look.  "He said you'd like the Vulcans."

"An interesting proposition," Goemon agreed.  "I'd be delighted."

Jigen looked at him, then shook his head. "You're so bad sometimes.  Was that a joke?"

"If you couldn't tell then your sense of humor needs work," Goemon said firmly.  "Marcus, help him with that today."

"Yes, master," he said happily.  "Do I have to go too?"

"No," Lupin promised.  "I won't make anyone go."

"I'm going to go as Bubbles," Arsene told him.  "I'd make a good Bubbles, don't you think?"

"Shouldn't you go as the dark-haired one?" Jigen asked.  "Or is she Bubbles?  I never got them straight."

"I would, but I like Bubbles more and this way I can learn about wigs.  Daddy Xander said so."

"Okay," Lupin agreed, nodding.  "We'll work on that.  Anyone else going to that one with Xander and Arsene?"  All the kids old enough to understand that question raised their hands.  "Are we all going in costumes?"  They all nodded.  "Why?"

"Because Daddy Xander said we should," they said in near-unison.

"I'm going as Sailor Moon," Lotus told him proudly.  "I've already got my outfit."  Her father looked at her.  "You didn't forget it, right?"

"No, it's in your closet upstairs.  I had wondered why you had such an outfit."  He patted her on the head.  "Son?"

"I'm going as a ninja, father."

"Very well.  Do you need an outfit?"  Ishi nodded.  "We'll find you one then, son."  He looked at the twins.  "What are you two going as?"

"I'm going as a schoolgirl," Melissa told him.  "They're often very helpful but no one seems to notice how useful they are."

"I'm going as Strawberry Shortcake. It's an old favorite that's been coming back," Savannah said proudly.

"I'm going as a Care Bear or a Smurf, I haven't decided yet," Sierra offered.  "Ishi, are you sure you want to go as a ninja?  You could go as Tuxedo Max or someone cool and a bad guy."

"Uncle Xander said he'd find me one who carried a sword but most of them have odd hair," Ishi noted.

Xander walked in and handed over a DVD.  "Here, go as Inuyasha's brother - the main bad guy - or Miroku."

"Wow, I can go as a real bad guy," Ishi said fondly.  "But his hair's white, Uncle."

"They make wigs for that, Ishi.  Or you can go as the priest."

"Well, he does have an interesting power with that wind tunnel to the void in his hand."

"On his hand," Lupin corrected.

"No, it's a part of his body.  It's slowly consuming him."  He looked at his uncle.  "Then I could carry the staff.  Can we find me one?"  Xander nodded. "You're sure?"

"Oh, yeah.  Jerry said one of his friends' kids went as Miroku for most of his teen years. He's willing to sell the outfit.  I'm going to be meeting with him this time.  Wanna come this time too?"

"Sure," Ishi agreed happily.  "Can I have my own room?"

"As long as you're nearby and we can check on you," Xander said patiently. "And your father agrees," he added when he saw Goemon's look.

"I believe he's a bit young, Xander."

"We'll be in the same hotel."

"Yes, but your mind will not be on him.  Next year perhaps.  The ones where we can go in larger groups definitely, but such individual events are best left until I trust him not to watch inappropriate things all night on the tv."

Xander snorted. "Goemon, he'd be at a viewing party.  They're most of the night.  This year's is Cowboy Bebop."

"I could go as Spike or Vicious," Ishi pointed out.

"We'd have to do food color your hair for the green," Xander pointed out.  "But you're right, you could.  You can do a mean Spike, Ishi."

"But he's a *good* guy," Arsene pointed out.

"So's Bubbles," Jigen reminded her.  "If you want to go as a bad guy, go as the spoiled princess."

"No, I already have my outfit and I like how Bubbles loves everyone and animals.  I can be a good guy for a few days.  Ishi's older though so he should be like he's going to grow up so he doesn't get confused switching back and forth."

"He can go as whomever he wants," Marcus offered. "His training will cover that, Arsene."  He looked at the others.  "I would gladly watch the children next week with Bix so I don't have to attend the later one."

Lupin grinned.  "Done.  You guys be good for Marcus too."  They all nodded patiently.  "Good kids.  We should eat.  What were you doing today, Xan?"

"Checking my outfit to make sure it's correct.  If not, I'll have to go to my storage building and find my other one and fix the few rips and a blood spot or three."

"You could go as Iceman if it's not right," Ishi offered.  "Or you could go as Vicious.  He uses a sword, but you'd have to find the crow."

"I thought it was a raven, but I could probably do that," Xander pointed out.  "Or, hey, it's close enough, I could go as Snape."

Jigen looked at him.  "Bring things like that into the house and I'm going back to my room.  I can't imagine you making potions."

Xander beamed.  "Actually, I'm not horrible at it.  I'm not a Longbottom at all.  I'm more a Weasley at it."

"Yay.  No potions in our bedroom, Xander."

"Sure.  I don't need one yet.  Hopefully I'll never need the little blue pill that cures marriage woes."

Goemon spluttered on his juice while Marcus choked on his eggs.  "Xander! We're trying to eat!" they said in unison.

"Is that Viagra or one of the newer versions of the popular erection drug, daddy?" Melissa asked.

"It's viagra," Lupin said.  "I think I want a tylenol or six now.  Goemon?"

"Please.  Aspirin."

"Aspirin is good for your heart," Lotus said, patting him on the hand. "Good choice, daddy."  She smiled at him.  "Now all we need to do is to get you to wear sunscreen all the time and you'll be really healthy for a very long time."

"You can help me apply it the next time I'm working out without my robe," he offered.

"Daddy, your robe gapes and that part can be burned too."

"I wasn't the last time we were in Egypt.  I'll be fine, Lotus."

"Okay," she sighed, giving him a sad look. "We don't want to lose you because you get sick from the sun."

"I spent most of my youth outside and bare chested, it won't happen, Lotus."

"If you say so.  But if you develop melanoma, then I get to say 'I told you so' to you."

"If you wish," he agreed, taking the handful of aspirin.  Half went into his pocket and the other half he took immediately.   He looked at the two future thieves.  "You both have very bad habits of blurting out things that should not come from any child's mouth.  Perhaps you should quit before we take away the convention?"  They pouted at him, looking like really miserable, wet, kicked, homeless puppies - the strongest puppy eyes there were.  "Tough."

"I'd never be like them, daddy," Lotus assured him, leaning on his arm for a hug.

"Thankfully.  If you spat out stuff like Arsene, I'd have to beat you more often," Ishi said firmly.

"Son, pushups," Goemon ordered, pointing at the corner. "Ten, now."

"Yes, sir."  He sighed but got up to do them.

"Frankly, I agree, Master," Marcus offered.  "I'd have to try to correct her too."

"There is another free corner, inhabit it," Goemon ordered, pointing at the other side.  Marcus sighed but got up to do his punishment.  He looked at Lotus.  "You are very well read, Lotus.  I appreciate you looking out for me."

"Someone has to since you're not married anymore, daddy," she said seriously.  "I'd let the mother do it but I doubt she'd do a good job."  One of the kittens walked in.  "Out, Homer.  You're not allowed in this room and you know it."  He dropped the mouse beside her chair and meowed, hopping up to get affection.  "Oh, you found a mouse.  That's a good girl, Homer."  She took her cat from the room before anyone could say anything.  "That's a very good girl," she cooed.  "Mommy loves you, yes she does. You are a mighty hunter and mommy's very proud of you."  She cuddled her cat then let it down, giving it a few more pets. "You're still not allowed in the dining room though."  She gave it a pat on the tail.  "Go nap, you deserve it."  Her cat scampered off and she went back to her seat.  "That was very good of her.  She likes to lurk in the kitchen."

"Take the dead rodent out back and bury it," Lupin ordered, looking green.  "That doesn't belong in here either and it's gross."

"Sorry."  She picked it up by the tail and carried it off to dispose of it.  She laid it out on the ground so her bird friend could come down and eat it.  It was hungry and he did need meat now and then.  She washed her hands, making sure they could hear it, then went back to her breakfast.  "Should I let the cats hunt the rest or do we have some humane traps around?"

Jigen looked at her.  "No humane traps.  Traps definitely."

"The cats might snap them," Xander reminded him. "It'd hurt them a lot.  Let the cats hunt them, Lotus.  They're good at it, they did it for centuries."

"Sure, Uncle Xander."  She dug into her breakfast.  "Father, when is my practice today?"

"Late this afternoon.  Ishi will have my early in the afternoon.  I'm going to go back to bed, I seem to have a headache."  He wiped his mouth and left.

"Don't forget the pills you put in your pocket, daddy," Lotus called.  She grinned at her brother.  "What are we doing this morning?"

"Lessons," Jigen said firmly.  "Every last one of you will be sitting in here with your textbooks."  They all sighed and nodded.  "Good.  Thank you."  He looked at Xander.  "I'm assuming you'll be in your room strutting around to break it in?"  Xander nodded. "That's fine.  I'm gonna agree with Goemon, my head's starting to ache.  I'm gonna nap. You kids behave."  He left, going to curl up on the cot in the nursery.  The little kids didn't give him headaches, it was just the first daughters that did it to him.

Lupin looked at the kids.  "I'm going to be in the office."

"You might want to sweep for bugs, we found a few the other night but you were working so we didn't disturb you," Ishi offered.

"I'll do that after I get done eating."  Xander gave him a sideways look.  "Don't forget to modify your registration."

"I won't.  I have the person's home phone number for things like that and the hotel's included.  If she can't fix it, I'll do that after I add you to my registration."  He smirked at him.  "Bring money, I always do.  Most of them take cards but it takes forever to run them so the new good stuff is gone."

"Sure," Lupin agreed tiredly.  "How much?"

"I usually only bring a few hundred, but you can bring however much you want.  You never know, you might find something you like from one of the older series.  Star Trek TOS is still pretty hot."

"TOS?" Lupin asked.

"The original series."

"Oh."  He nodded. "I grew up watching that.  Maybe I will browse a bit."  He looked at the kids, then back at Xander.  "We'll be carting all them through the equivalent of a shopping plaza?"

"More of an open-air market set up in a ballroom and they'll be good or they'll be sent home," Xander reminded them.  They all nodded, grinning at him. "Good, kids."  He looked at Lupin again.  "See, they can be reasonable."

"What are they getting in return?"

"I'm taking them to Disney Paris."

"By yourself?" he asked.

"I refuse," Marcus said quickly before Xander could open his mouth.  "I'd rather be flayed and chopped for sushi."

"Corner, now," Lupin ordered.  "Some of us are still trying to eat, Marcus."

"Yes, sir," he said miserably.

"I was thinking about asking Bix to come with us.  I did okay before," he said smartly.

"Hmm.  You did," Lupin agreed. "I'll help Jigen watch the toddlers.  You can bring Goemon again too if you want."

"Father might get upset with you," Lotus said, patting him on the hand.  "We'll have to talk him into it and make him want to come with us.  After all, there are worse places he'd rather not go instead."

"True.  The mall," Ishi offered. "During that frenzy like last fall or during the holidays."

"Orlando," Arsene offered.

"That new pretty dress shop with all the flowers and singing things," Sierra added.

"You're odd," her twin retorted. "Flowers?  Singing flowers?  If you bring one home, it had better stay in your room.  I might get sick."

"Arsene," he father warned firmly.

"I would! They're cute and cuddly and they sing happy Barney-like songs about friendship and sharing and love."  She made a gagging noise.  "Puke."

"Meanie," Sierra said.  "Some of us like happy things.  Just because you're a wannabe vampire doesn't mean the rest of us are."  She stomped off.

"Sierra," Xander called.  She came back and pouted at him.  "Listen, honey, some of us aren't the most cuddly and cute of things.  I don't like those flowers either. If you do get one, try to keep it somewhere that your sister won't have to hear it sing.  Like the nursery.  The kids would probably like it."  She smiled and hugged him.  "Thanks.  Now finish your breakfast so you can all do your homework."

"Yes, daddy," they said, digging in.

"We could make Uncle Goemon go with us to get our ears pierced," Savannah offered.  "I wanted to have someone professional do mine.  That means a piercing studio, which are usually part of a tattoo shop."

Lupin looked at her.  "Can't we have them done at a store?"

"The gun isn't sterile, dad," she scoffed.  "We could get infections and those people aren't really *trained*.  The place I want has a sign that says their piercers went to a special school in San Francisco and all graduated with honors.  Plus they have a certificate on their wall stating one of the guys is a paramedic in case someone passes out or something."

"Fine," Lupin agreed, nodding.

"They usually only take older people," Xander pointed out.

"I asked, he said he could do ears, or noses, with the parent standing there watching," she assured him.  "He said I was very bright not to go to those people without training using the unsterile equipment.  You never know who it was doing before you.  Their blood may have splattered or something."  Lupin's green tinge became more teal colored.  "Sorry, daddy.  We'll discuss it later, when you're not trying to eat."

"No, I agree, we'll go to the good place with the well-trained people."

"Can I get my belly button done?" Arsene asked.  "It's very fashionable.  Auntie Fujiko said she was considering it because it was so fashionable."

"Not until you're older," Xander said patiently.  "At least sixteen.  After all, fashions change.  Right now there's a fashion to split your tongue, are you going to want to do that too?"  She shuddered and shook her head.  "See?  So maybe belly buttons won't be fashionable when you're older.  The same with tattoos.  Eighteen on that."

"When can we wear makeup?" Savannah asked.

"When you've worn a real bra for at least a year.  Before then you may have some kiddie body sprays, nail polish, and some kiddie lip glosses.  Nothing else."  They nodded, accepting that.  "When you're old enough, we'll be teaching you how to put on your makeup."

"What if Ishi wants to wear some?" Arsene asked.  "Like the boys in the mall."

"Then we'll teach him too," Xander agreed.  "That'll be his decision if he wants to walk around in eyeliner and mascara."

Ishi looked at him.  "Only if I suddenly turn into a real vampire," he said dryly, arching an eyebrow up.  "I am not that sort of boy, Uncle Xander."

"Like I said, that'd be your decision and we'd support you to your own father," Xander reminded him.

"Thank you, but no.  Perhaps a piercing or something, but not makeup."

"Your dad's got a tattoo," Xander told him.

"He does?" Lotus asked. "Where?"

Lupin coughed.  "That was a drunken bet, Xander.  He had no idea what he was doing.  Let's leave it there, kids."

"Where is it?  I've never seen it."

"It's on his upper right thigh and the only time you'll ever see it is if he's running around nearly naked again," Lupin said.  "No more questions."

"Fine," she agreed.  "Can I ask him?"

"No," Xander said, starting to laugh.  "He gave me the most horrified look when I mentioned it to him.  Don't ask."  He winked and she beamed at him, scraping her plate so she could get more food.  "Good girl.  Lessons start in a half-hour."  The other kids ate frantically so they wouldn't be stuck until lunch.

***

Lupin followed Xander into the hotel, looking around.  Everything seemed pretty normal so far.

Xander leaned over to hug the check-in girl.  "I'm back again and I brought my boyfriend.  He's promised to be just as good.  We need anything?"

"The pre-events have already started.  Someone got here late last night and they're doing a movie and zine swap."  She checked her computer.  "We've got you in.  Usual room?"  He nodded as he handed over his credit card.  "All right.  You're in," she said cheerfully.  "The pre-registration desk is in ballroom four, with everything else."

"Thanks, love."  He headed that way at a brisk walk, tapping before walking in.  "Hi, all," he called, waving.  "Anything for me?"

"Oh, Xander!" a big, blond man with a beard called.  "We've finally got that new comic that everyone's been talking about.  Come see.  It's killer."

"Really?"  He smiled at the check-in girl for the convention.  "It's me again.  This is my boytoy, Lupin.  He's made the same vow."

"To me please," she said firmly.

"I'm not going to steal anyone's collections," he said honestly, one hand over his heart.  "I'd never do that.  Xander would kill me and chop me into tiny pieces.  He said so."

She smiled. "Good!"  She handed Xander his packet.  "All ready for you, dear.  No costume?"

"It's tight so I'm having it adjusted," he admitted.  "Otherwise it's very nice."  He blew a kiss.  "Talk to you at dinner."  He jogged over to his friends.  "Hey, guys.  What new comic?  Oh, that's the boyfriend. He's of the not-understanding-the-Xander sort at the moment.  He thinks this is an addiction."  The guys all laughed.

"If he thinks you've got a collection, he should talk to Philip," one of the guys, a smaller, thinner, nerdy looking guy said.  "He's in the bar sulking because he couldn't get an authentic light saber."

Xander hissed. "Poor guy.  He's got one from the other trio too."  He shook his head. "Maybe next year."  He carefully took the comic, flipping by only touching the bottom corner.  He looked at the cover.  "That brat!" he said angrily.  "How dare she?"

"You know Buffy?" Jerry, the blond guy, asked.  "How?"

"Hey, Xan," another guy said as he walked up to them.  "What's up with the newbie?"

"He's my boyfriend.  He thinks I'm addicted."

"Oh."  He smiled at Lupin, shaking his hand.  "Welcome to our little world.  Don't worry, he's perfectly normal.  You should talk to Philip if you want to see addicted.  Does this mean we can't win you in the poker game this year, Xander?"

"Probably not," he agreed dryly.  "Lupin might mind."

"Poor thing."

"Poker game?" Lupin asked.

"Long standing joke, relax, guy," Jerry said with a grin.  He shook his hand.  "I'm Jerry.  Xan, I've got the Miroku outfit in my room so you can look at it."

"Thanks."  He handed the comic back to the owner.  "It was so very nice of her to forget everyone else who helped her.  I really should go kick her ass someday soon," he complained.  He looked at Lupin. "Guess who got her own comic?  Without her witch, her warrior, her werewolf, her vampires, only her and her watcher."  Lupin shuddered.  "Can't I please go kick her ass?"

"No, Xander.  It's not worth it," Lupin soothed.  "Which company?  Maybe you can point out that it's not a good story line or something."

Xander looked at the back of the comic, then suddenly smirked. "Oh, that's just perfect," he said, showing it to Lupin.  "I believe I'll be visiting them in person."  He handed it back with a grin.  "She's so fucked."

"Hey, Xan, you once said I could ask you about your past and where you're from if I won you in our poker game.  Where're you from?" Jerry asked casually.

"Sunnydale."

The guys all gaped, and one whimpered. "You really know *the* Buffy?"

"Yes, and she's a twat," he said.  "Fast, strong, blonde, only dates vampires or tough guys, doesn't like to think or research.  Leans on people until she decides they're getting too much attention.  Know her real well."

"Hold on.  Sunnydale.  Didn't it get blown up or something?" the newest guy asked.

Xander scratched the back of his head.  "Well, kinda. More imploded than exploded.  You might even say sucked down.  Fortunately everyone got out."  He shrugged.  "We tried."  He patted Lupin on the back.  "This is my boyfriend, Lupin.  This is Paul.  The blond guy is Jerry, he's Thor for obvious reasons.  Paul usually comes as the Silver Surfer but I hear you've got a new guy?"

"I'm playing Batman this year.  I got a near-perfect condition stuntman uniform from the anatomically correct movie."  They all congratulated him and patted him on the back.  "So I'm using it."

"Good job!" Xander encouraged.  "The guy with the comic of the ho is Morton.  He's an accountant.  He usually runs a zine stand."

"I am this year too.  My brother can't ever get away from work for these so I get to come and man his stall while I watch everyone else.  I'm usually a jedi."

"I'm Horace," the last guy said, waving.  "I'm stereotypical.  I'm a hacker."

"Have you heard from Oz?  Wolfboy-on-Zen?"

"I have, he's headed back toward LA," Horace admitted. "Should I pop up a 'Xander said hi' for you?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, that'd be great.  I haven't seen him since he went to Tibet to find control."  He glanced around.  "Is this all of us?"

"No, everyone else ran out for lunch," Paul admitted. "Are you dressing your newbie up?"

"Not this year," Xander admitted.  "Next time if he's coming with me.  I'd better feed him before he becomes grumpy.  Oh, hey, I'm bringing the other boyfriend to Geneva and the kids are all coming to the family oriented one next month.  You can meet my whole horde, including Goemon's kids."  They all looked impressed.  "Jerry, catch you in a few?"  He nodded.  "Thanks, call upstairs for me to tell me when."  He walked Lupin out.  "So, those are the core of my buddies.  Everyone here knows who I am but they know I'd never hurt them or their stuff."  He walked into the bar.  "Hey, Phil, can you spare a few to talk to my boyfriend?"

"Does that mean I can't win you in this year's poker game?"

"Sorry, but he'd mind.  He's not of the sharing variety.  But I'll still give backrubs."  He trotted in and hugged him.  "I heard, man, I'm sorry.  Maybe next time."  Philip sighed and nodded so Xander put down a twenty on the bar.  "For whatever he needs.  My boy can buy his own."  He patted Philip on the back.  "Have fun.  I'm going to unpack."  He headed up the stairs, leaving Lupin one of the keys.  Part of the promise said that they couldn't break into the rooms either.

Philip looked back at the newbie, then smirked.  "I don't bite."

"Good, I know a few of Xander's friends do," he admitted as he took the barstool next to the youngish man.  He was probably in his middle thirties.  Had a wedding band on.  Had thinning hair.  He looked like the standard, middle class, office worker.  "Xander brought me because I thought he was becoming dependant and addicted on his anime stuff.  Everyone said to talk to you when they heard that."

"Hmm.  They probably want me to tell you about my collection.  You made the vow?"

"I'd never touch another kid's comic collection or anime stuff.  Xander said he'd chop me into sausage."

"Good."   He grinned, pulling out his wallet.  "My collection is currently worth approximately seventy thousand dollars," he said, opening the pictures.  "I mostly do Star Trek and Star Wars.  I'm a real Stars person as they say."  He grinned and Lupin looked in awe at the pictures of him with all his stuff.  "I'm making my own museum."

"Wow.  And I thought Xander's storehouse was big."  He handed it back. "How did you collect that stuff?"

"Conventions, the internet.  The usual ways.  Did anyone tell Xan about the new comic?"

"Yeah, he knew Buffy," he said bitterly.  "After meeting her, I'm not real impressed.  The blonde hair is fake, the tits sag after two kids, and she's got a nasty temper."

"Wow.  Bummer, but I guess it's understandable and all.  Aging hits us all."  He ran a hand through his hair.  "So, you're Lupin the Third.  Xander owns an anime company, and I'm one of the few who knows that tidbit so far, and you don't understand your lover and gunman?"

"I try really hard, but sometimes I can't.  I never even came close to liking anything this much."

Philip nodded.  "It takes a special sort to be a dedicated fan.  Just look at sports fans or those people who collect the miniature trains."

"The people who build the train yard in their basement are those I don't understand either.  Most of the people I know who collect things do it to look at them. I know a few doll collectors and a few who collect costumes but they don't wear them or go to conventions."

"Yeah, they're collectors, but we're *fans*.  We're the sort who'll write a company to put a show back on the air.  It worked with Star Trek and it worked with the Sentinel."

"I've watched Star Trek, I grew up on the originals."

"In first run?"  Lupin nodded. "Wow.  I got second generation reruns, but nothing from the first run.  Was a big deal made?"

"I was over here and most people didn't understand why it kept going.  The French aren't exactly big science fiction buffs."

"Pity.  Pity we didn't have DVD players back then too.  I'd kill for a full set of the original run.  After the original, things got edited a bit more each new generation it was rerun to.  The first runs had less commercial time than they do now."

"I noticed that while I was watching the kids watch cartoons."  He shrugged. "I don't own a network but they're making major money off it.  I consider them borderline crooks."

"Yeah, us too," he sighed. "One of them wouldn't sell me his light saber."

"It's all right.  Remember, he's got to die sometime and then most everything will probably go on auction, unless he's managed to turn his son to his fanish activities the way Xander has.  Goemon's son, Ishi, really wanted to come this time."

"He's how old?"

"Nearly eleven.  We'd have to sit him in a separate room and Goemon wouldn't agree."

"Wow.  I didn't know you guys had kids that old."

"Odd story, but yeah," Lupin admitted.  "Xander said he's bringing the whole horde here for the family oriented one and Jigen gets to escort him around in Geneva."

"Interesting."  He grinned. "So, we really can't win him this year?"

"Does he often bet himself?"

"No," Philip laughed, punching him on the arm. "It's a long-standing joke.  See, Xander has a book that has Spock as a captain. A single book.  He said if anyone else can prove it's a fake he'll give whoever wins this year's poker tournament a night of pleasure, mostly backrubs and things like that.  We've all found the book though so he's won each year so far.  Now it's just a long-running joke."  The outer door opened and he looked over. "Hey, Jonas, come meet Xander's boyfriend."

"You mean Xander's a puff?"

"That's pouf," Philip said with an eye roll.  "Learn the proper slang, dear.  Lupin the Third, Jonas Quimby.  Yes, his mother named him that.  As you can tell, he's American."

They shook hands.  "Hi."

"Hi.  Newbie?"

"Xander made me come so I'd understand him better.  I thought he was addicted."

"Xander?  Not really.  Not like some people.  Right, Philip?"

"Bite your tongue.  I lost the battle to get the light saber."

"Poor thing," he soothed, hugging him.  "You'll get it next time.  Maybe Obi's will come up."  He waved. "I'm off to check in.  I'm not staying at the hotel.  A local fan is putting me up."   He left them alone.

Philip ordered another beer.  "You want anything?"

"No, I think I'll go pounce Xander for a bit.  It's nice not to have the kids around."

"Yeah, it is," he sighed, looking happy.  "My own son's back at the house being a jock.  He doesn't understand me at all.  Borderline psychotic too.  I had to move my collection before he torched it last year.  He thinks I love it more."

Lupin shook his head.  "Kids are different than things you collect to most people.  Ours are."  He shook the man's hand again. "I hope I run into you again soon.  Have a good drink on Xander, he'll appreciate it."  He headed up to their room so he could catch his breath.  Xander glanced at him from behind his hair. "That guy has over ten thousand items?"

"Closer to twelve with all his trading cards."  Xander went back to reading his packet for the convention.  "I found a rip in my costume."

"Can you get it fixed?"

"Oh, yeah, I went to the guy who made it and showed him.  Plus I showed him my new was still too tight.  He's fixing it right now.  So I'm gonna have to be someone else until I get it back.  Think I should go Marvel and Iceman or badguy and go Vicious?"

"What about someone like Lucius from the Potter books?"

"I'm not a blond," Xander pointed out.  "There's a guy here who does that one every year and he's excellent.  I've faced him the last few years in the costume competition.  The only problem with Vicious is that I don't have the bird."  He frowned.  "I don't feel right bringing a bird in for just this event and then releasing it.  Nor do I feel I should honor him by using a stuffed bird."  He looked up again. "It's a quandary."

"What about that one white-haired guy in the one you were watching last night?"

"That was hentai, Lupin, porn."

"They make anime porn?"

"Oh, yeah, there'll be a booth set up just for that for the next few days. It'll disappear at the start of the convention since there'll be kids around."  He went back to his reading.  "I should call Misty.  She gives good advice."  He grabbed the phone and dialed the front desk.  "Can you connect me to Misty?  Thanks, love."  He hummed while she was gotten. "Hey, it's Xander.  I just found a rip in my usual outfit.  I'm debating what to do.  Vicious or Bobby?"  He listened to her. "But that means bringing a live bird in and then getting rid of it afterwards."  He snickered at her suggestion. "Of course I could.  That's a very good idea.  Thanks, Misty.  Sure, tonight.  Love you too.  See you for dinner with my new bird."  He hung up.  "We need to go to a certain place to borrow a bird."

"Borrow a bird?" Lupin asked, smirking when he saw the devilish look Xander had on his face.  "All right then.  I'm all for borrowing things.  Are we giving it back?"

"Oh, yeah.  It's a specially trained bird.  It needs some attention anyway.  It'll make them pay more attention to it."  He grabbed his jacket and they headed out together, him leaving a note for Jerry.  Lupin joined him outside, looking shaken.  "What?  Have the aliens landed?  They don't usually get here for another two days."

"No, I just saw a wookie.  I complimented him on his costume and he laughed and said it was his natural pelt, tugged on it to show me."

"That's Teddy.  He's like that naturally.  His mother said she always wanted a teddy bear and she got him."  He grinned. "Teddy's a sweetheart.  Another one who wanted to win me."  He flagged down a cab, getting one nearly instantly since this was a good hotel. "Hey, we need to go to the Native Bird Conservatory please."  The driver nodded, speeding off once Lupin was in.

***

Xander walked into dinner with his bird on his shoulder the way it should be and his sword in his hand.   His costume was flawless and he had the attitude perfect when he wanted to use it.  "What's wrong?" he asked.

Philip tapped the top of the loaf of bread on their table.  "Journey bread."

Xander grimaced. "Move back."  He pulled his sword and sliced it cleanly into five parts.  "There.  We should be able to pick out the softer stuff in the center."  He handed a treat to his bird since it hadn't moved.  "Good girl."  Everyone stared at him.  "My usual one had a rip.  It's being fixed."

"Oh."  They nodded en-masse.

"You make a good Vicious, Xan," Teddy assured him.  "Just right with the hair that long.  So, Lupin.  Aren't joining in on the fun?"

"Not this time.  This time I'm trying to understand Xander better."  He sat down and let Xander sit next to him, feeding the bird a piece of dried banana.  "You're very calm."

"He does shows for kids.  I'm sure he'd have to be."

"All right, freeze.  All illegals and bounties are under arrest," a male voice said from the doorway.

"Come in, Spike," he said smoothly.  "You can stop me from trying to corrupt this innocent one to my side of the syndicate war."  He stroked Lupin's chin and smirked at him.  "Won't you, pretty?  You want to be a bad boy."

"One hundred percent," he vowed.  "Each and every day."

"Aww," Ray said, shaking his head.  "No mush, guys.  Vicious doesn't have a geisha."  He looked at Xander, then frowned. "I know you."

"I know you too, Inspector.  How are you today, Ray?" he asked with a bright grin.

"Aren't you supposed to be Inuyasha?"

"Outfit had a rip," he admitted.  He shook the guy's hand.  "So I'm Vicious until I get it back, and mean and nasty the rest of the time."  He grinned again at the light laugh.  "Listen, I'm on break, you're on break.  I'm not starting trouble, I don't care if you do.  I'm not here for you."

"I'm here to watch you though," Ray said happily.  "Gets me paid admission and hotel room."

"Congrats, soak Gramps for all he's worth.  I'm going to Geneva with Jigen and then the family one with the kids in tow."

"Cool by me," Ray agreed.  "Myron can take that one."

"I missed Myron," Xander sighed.

"Missed how?" Ray asked.

"Um, odd stuff," Xander explained quickly.  "Join us.  Guys, Spike here is Inspector Ray Kowalski, Interpol.  He works for Zenigata now."  They all shook hands and introduced themselves.  "My honey is here to figure me out.  He'll be going through the hentai table tomorrow."  The other guys, including Ray, laughed.  "I, on the other hand, need to write some people about that new comic."

"Yeah, Zenigata said you knew her," Ray agreed.  "That bad?"  Xander nodded. "He suggested you tell Dawnie."

"Not an issue.  I'll call her later," Xander promised with a wink.  "Do you know how many people think we used to be an item?"  Lupin choked but Ray snickered, shaking his head. "No?  There's whole mailing lists and archives devoted to us as a couple."

"Sorry, Xander, but I like girls.  I like 'em much more than boys.  Otherwise I'd make them happy."  He grinned at Xander.  "Then again, you could make me beg."

"Too much work.  Are you a big fan of Bruce Lee too?"

"Yeah, but I'm not any good at that stuff.  Pity, but there it is."

"I am," Xander said happily.  Lupin put a hand on his thigh under the table.  "Chill.  This is my extended family.  Ray's just joined it, he should know.  Gramps does too.  He knows I train with Goemon."

"True," Lupin agreed.  He stroked the hard thigh.  "Why did we get hardtack?"

"Because the cook fell asleep with the bread in the oven again," Philip shared. "It's tradition at least once during the convention.  Not to be rude or anything, but no sex in front of us, okay?  Some of our wives are nasty little things who like us to sleep on the couch."

"I wasn't even going to try and tease him," Lupin promised.  "A big man like Xander should be allowed pouncing rights."  Xander blushed but cleared it away quickly.  "If I do come back next year, who should I come as?"

"If Xander sticks as Vicious you could be a henchman," Teddy offered casually.  "That would allow you sunglasses and a uniform, partially in red if I remember right."  Xander and Ray both nodded. "Or you could just come as yourself. I know one of the companies is looking for you, Lavelle."  Xander smirked. "Yours?"  Xander nodded. "Do they know?"  Xander shook his head.  "Good job!"  He looked at Ray.  "Do you always do Spike?"  He nodded.  "Eh, not my fav but it suits you.  Lupin, pick someone who suits you, that's the most important thing."

"He could be that super stretchy guy, the one who wears the sunglasses," Philip offered.

"Not a bad idea," Xander agreed. "I'll take him to the comic shop tomorrow and let him browse."  He winked at Lupin.  "We'll find you something for next year."

"So, it's the puff," Jonas said as he walked up to them.

"It's pouf, Jonas, get it right," Xander said, frowning at him. "Puff was a magic dragon that lived by the sea."

"No, not that song," Lupin moaned, holding his head.

"Sorry, most people get Disney songs stuck in their head, he gets that one and the little teapot."

"Fortunately, my kid is a boy," Philip said happily.  "I never had that problem.  My father turned him into the jock he couldn't turn me into by the age of four."

"Should we go hurt him for you?" Xander asked seriously.

"Too late, but my son will eventually learn there's more to life than sports.  He's not good enough to go to college on it."

"Remember, desperate kids are dangerous," Lupin warned.  "My own are that way when they want chocolate and mine are only seven."

Ray snorted.  "That's true, and your daughter is presently in trouble, we think.  She stole a Renoir."

"That's my baby," Lupin said proudly.  "Which one?"

"From where?" Xander asked.  "She's supposed to be at home."

"From Zenigata's aunt's wall."

Lupin shook his head. "It's a fake.  I've seen the real one and stolen it twice now.  The colors are wrong on it, they're too bright."  He sipped his water and nibbled on a piece of the bread.  "That's not bad if you discount the crust."

"We usually do," Jerry agreed.  He pushed his horned hat back.  "So, Xan, you gonna fill us in soon about that whole Buffy thing?"

"I'm hoping to get it stopped, make that a limited edition."

"She's probably using it to train the distant slayers," Lupin sighed.  "Without Rupert's direct support she's basically alone."

"Hold on, Slayers? Plural?" Jerry asked.

Xander nodded. "Our witch buddy had to do something drastic to save the world.  There's been two since she was revived in tenth grade and more after that."  He picked up his water to sip.  "Nasty thing I did.  I liked Kendra."

Lupin patted him gently.  "It's all right, you had to do what you thought was best.  You were too young to know any better."  He looked at the guys. "Needless to say, she had some helpers that aren't in the comic."

"Yeah, ratings hike when it's a pretty girl all alone," Jerry agreed.  "What's with the battle armor?"

"Pure fiction," Xander said with a smirk.  "That girl went out in tank tops and shirts so thin and wispy she was barely not naked.  We and her vampire honey used to tease her about it."

"She's probably trying to set a good example now," Lupin offered.

"Probably. Maybe that was Marcus' dad's idea."

"Probably," Lupin agreed.

"Marcus' father?" Jerry mused.  "Your running buddy?"  Xander nodded.  "How is he connected?"

"Rupert got fired and they sent his father as her second watcher.  Stiff prick then he turned tough, and then bad.  Now he's demon bait."

Paul suddenly sat up and stared at him. "I have issue two at home.  She had a friend who acted as bait.  Xander...."  His mouth opened and Xander nodded.  "Well, at least she included you."

"In a bad way no doubt," Xander agreed dryly.  "As usual.  I was only watching her back before I was trained, guys."

"No, nothing major in the least," Paul agreed with a smirk.  "How bad was that thing that made the town implode?"

"Hellmouth opened.  Sucked everything inside.  We even told the state people that, they thought we were high on acid or damaged from the trauma of the event.  They decided on trauma at the end because it would be less paperwork."  He sipped more of his water. "Can we change subjects?  I don't need nightmares."

"Sure," Jerry agreed. "Hey, Lupin, you still think Teddy's a wookie?"

Lupin blushed and nodded.  "Yeah, kind of.  Sorry."

"No problems.  My mother said she had always wanted a bear and she got me."  He looked at his arm hair.  "I need a trim."

"They make treatments for that stuff," Lupin offered.  "I know some good people."

"Do you know how hard it is to condition my whole body?" Teddy asked with a grin.  "Especially my back?  My wife's understanding but our hot water tank isn't that big.  It'd take me forever."

"Do a leave in each Sunday afternoon," Xander suggested.  "Shower it out that night."

"Nope, sorry, Sunday's my day for nookie."  He smirked at them.  "Yours?"

"Anytime I can catch him," Lupin said with a shrug and a wicked grin. "He's really fast and he hardly ever sleeps."  The guys laughed.  "Seriously.  He only sleeps four hours a night.  I can't make him stay in bed."

"Hold over from school and patrol days," Xander admitted.  "It comes in handy.  I get in more practice time than Marcus does."

Lupin looked at him.  "Xan, could you please quit learning moves off anime...."

"Again?" he whined.

"I was going to add without supervision," he said firmly.  "We don't need you hurt.  Think about how bad it would be if you had to go without sex while your back healed."  Xander shuddered.  "Exactly, and I remember you've hurt it once."  This was the argument he should have used back during their fight, it had come to him too late though.

"Fine.  I'll let someone watch me," he sighed.

"That's all I wanted," Lupin promised.  "Thank you."  He blew a kiss.  "Now, when's dinner coming?"

"Not for another hour or so.  The cook went back to her nap," Paul told him.

"The same as every year I've been here," Xander quipped.  "Sit, Jonas."  Jonas pulled up a seat and sat down beside Teddy.

Ray answered his phone.  "Yeah?"  He listened, glancing at Lupin.  "Thanks, boss."  He hung up.  "Your daughter's off the hook.  They found a big note saying that bad taste is bad and should be eliminated, especially with copies as obvious as that one and where the painting was hidden."

"That's my girl," Xander said proudly.

"Melissa's his," Lupin said at the confused look.  "The Fourth is mine and so is one of the future cops.  The other of those is his.  Fred's mine too."

"Wow.  You've got a huge family," Teddy told him. "How?"

"Strange stuff so odd that you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Xander admitted.

"Try," Jonas offered.

"I'm dedicated to Janus and he adores me.  There was a slight timeline switch between realms.  They're ours, just not from here yet."  The guys looked stunned. "I told you so."

Teddy nodded once, then looked at Lupin.  "Truth?"  Lupin nodded.  "Damn, Xander.  Now wonder you get to come as Inuyasha."

"You're dedicated to Janus?" Jonas asked.  "Why?"

"So he'd leave my life alone," Xander said plainly.  "It worked better that way."  Lupin nodded again, a lot stronger this time.

Ray chuckled.  "Zenigata explained all that to me when he came to hire me.  How are you two coping?"

"Better now," Lupin admitted.  "The kids are exhausting but decent enough most of the time.  We like 'em."

"We do," Xander agreed.  "We love the kids.  Right now is adult time though so they're being babysat by Jigen, Goemon, Bix, and Marcus."

"Who's Bix?" Jonas asked.

"The nanny.  She's a wonderful young woman.  Really steady and caring."

"You could come as a kitsune next year," Lupin suggested.

"I'd look dumb as a plushy or a furry," Xander promised, blowing a kiss. "Thanks for the idea though."  He grinned.  "I'll show you later, dear."  He looked at Jonas again.  "You're not usually that interested.  Watcher's?"  He nodded. "Figures.  Watch your back, man.  They've still got daggers to spare."

"I've heard that from Ripper," he admitted.  "He hired me, asked me to tell you to leave Buffy alone about her training materials and to get you to write a Chronicle or a Diary for their archives if you'd be so kind.  He also said it was fine if you trained Demara.  He agreed, Europe needed the help."

"Gee, thanks, it's good to know he likes what we're doing," Lupin said dryly.

"Was that the vampire Ripper or the human Ripper?" Xander asked.

"Both.  The human one hired me, the vampire one is currently fixing the Watchers.  Most of them don't realize it yet."  Xander snickered.  "So if you could tell Marcus he'd like a letter as well, he'd be most happy."

"Marcus likes to visit Ethan so it's not a problem," Xander pointed out.  "I can probably write a Chronicle for him.  Hopefully it'll keep others from my fate."

"You could make it a comic," Paul suggested happily.

Morton joined them and nodded at everyone.  "I just received the shipment.  Xan, your zines are in."  He sat down, grinning at everyone.  "Remember, I'm not getting up before ten this year, please?"

"Sure, Morton," Xander agreed.  "All of my order?"  Morton nodded.  "Coolness.  And prepaid too."

"Yuppers," Morton agreed happily.  "Someone's already writing Buffy fics."

"Wow, already?" Xander asked.  Morton nodded.  "Any good?"  He shook his head.  "Who was she with?"

"Her watcher."

"Eww.  Ripper's like, fifty," Xander said with a near-perfect imitation of Buffy when someone had asked her back in high school.  "He's ancient!"  The other guys laughed.  "That's an exact quote by the way.  I don't mind older guys, I can still stun them with my skills."  Lupin nodded and the other guys laughed so he pinched him.  "You behave or I'll make you come as Sonic next year."  He looked at Jonas.  "How far back was I supposed to go?"

"As far back as you can reliably recall," he requested.  "Ripper said he would have asked you himself but he fears another fit if you two come into contact or worse."

"No, I spared him before because he wasn't totally involved," Xander pointed out.  "I don't like him, but he wasn't helping their side."

"I'm proud of you for that," Lupin promised.  "I would have taken out their whole side if it had been me.  Jigen would have too, he said so a few months back when we were discussing the whole thing with Ripper."

"The thought had crossed my mind but I'm not that petty most of the time," Xander told him.  "I got the ones who deserved it and the last one's come back so I really do want to go *help* him again."

"They turned him into another version of you," Jonas said calmly.  "Without the white hair.  He was tortured a lot like you were and all the same symbols are carved on him and everything, Xander.  Ripper said so.  The vampire Ripper said so."  Xander leveled a look at him.  "I know it doesn't make it better, but the guy's suffering greatly.  You let David do it for you," he said with a small smirk.

"How do you know about that?" Xander asked.

"I broke into the archives when I heard your name mentioned in the halls and I read Ethan's account.  I was caught and chewed out as well.  I'd never tell anyone else but I didn't think I was giving privileged information that your boyfriend wouldn't know."

"No, he knows.  He and Jigen helped me finish healing after it."

"Two years later," Lupin pointed out.  Jonas' eyes went wide.  "So, no, I don't think Marcus' father suffered near enough but we're letting him live for now so Xander doesn't have to do his work too."

"Thank you," Jonas agreed. "I'm sorry, Xander, I didn't mean to intrude, I simply heard your name and got curious, then I couldn't put it down."

"That's fine.  It would read like a horror story, and hey, it's one less thing I have to put into my Chronicle."

"Wow, he really does know Buffy," Paul said in awe.  "Do you work for the Watchers, Jonas?"  Jonas nodded.  "Why?"

"Because they needed people with sense, skills, and personality.  They're breaking the potentials back into groups again and I'm in charge of research for my team.  I work under Ripper's, Rupert's, direct supervision."  They all gaped.  "So yes, the comic isn't *pure* fantasy but Ripper said it wasn't technically factual either.  He warned me not to approach you, that you'd rant about that comic for a good few days."

"Already done that," Xander assured him.  "I know the publisher, I'm going to be having a word with him about the anti-factual things in it. After all, a witch, a werewolf, a warrior in training, and a few vampires will make the story more interesting and we don't want the future girls to be isolated the same way.  Right?"  Jonas shook his head.  "Then they need to understand."

"We've got the older girls and trust me, Ripper and Ethan have *definitely* made them see that them alone is not as strong as working together or with people who want to help.  Ethan pulled out all sorts of examples from Buffy's own life."  He smirked.  "He's fine by the way, he said to reassure you.  They found it and removed it all."

"Good.  I'll go tease him in a few days about having only half a head of hair."  Xander grinned.  "Okay, subject change time.  What's next?"

"Well, tonight we're all doing the outfit stuff," Jerry noted.  "My hat's dented."

"It lends authenticity," Lupin offered.

"But no one's supposed to be able to hit Thor."

"You can say Loki dropped a rock on you or something," Lupin suggested.

"True, and it'd be just like him.  Hey, Xan, you could have went as someone off Herc.  You'd make a killer Joxer."

"I used to be Joxer, now I'm Jett," he said smugly.  "But you're right.  I'd need to do my hair though."

"We like your hair," Lupin said, smoothing a few stands down so the bird would quit trying to catch them.  He fed the bird another bit of dried banana then smirked at Xander.  "Fine, you're right, the pets aren't so bad sometimes."

"You don't like Dancer?"

"Dancer tried to climb into my pants with me the other morning," he reminded him dryly.  "I don't like our cats that way, Xander."

"You guys have cats?"

"They're Lotus'," Xander said, glancing at Lupin.  "All but the ones I adopted."

"They're probably meowing pitifully at Lotus because you're not there," Lupin suggested.

"Yeah, but the kids have probably tied all the adults up in the bedrooms and are having a party," Xander said smugly.  "My daughter is a planning genius after all."

"Gets it from you," Lupin agreed.

"Yes, she does," he said proudly.  He pulled out pictures to show the guys.  "These are my horde.  Mine and Jigen's, mine and Lupin's, Lupin's, and Goemon's kids."  The guys passed them around, smiling at them.  "Ishi's one kick ass samurai in training."

"You two should put on an exhibition match," Jerry offered, handing them on.  "He's how old?"

"Almost eleven."

"The outfit might not fit him then," he said thoughtfully, looking at the next picture.  "The former owner was a bit of a geeky kid and this one boy looks stronger and bigger than him."

"Ishi's about up to my shoulder," Xander admitted.  "He's built like his dad, but really muscular.  Not that Goemon's not, but Ishi's got his standing out right now because he's having a growth spurt with low weight."

"How do you know Goemon's got good muscles?" Teddy asked, leveling a look at him.  "Some poker games going on up there?"

"What else would we do when we're waiting to pull a job?" Xander quipped.  "Not that I'd ever get the big guy.  Mostly it's from working on some cramps he's had in his back in the past.  He's got some really good and tight muscles.  Puts my big, heavy butt to shame."

"Xander, you're not that much bigger and you're definitely as well muscled," Lupin said firmly.  "Even Bix saw it, that's why she groped your thigh."

"She was patting me on it to reassure me that I shouldn't let you put me into the choker before I'm ready.  Bix would never grope me.  Hey, Teddy, are you looking for a girlfriend?"  He shook his head.  "Shoot.  Know anyone who is?"  Four of the guys at the table raised their hands.  "Bix is Goemon's cousin.  She's really sweet and nice.  I'll be bringing her to the family oriented convention because she wanted to come.  Would anyone be interested in meeting her?"  They all nodded.  "Cool.  She's a bit young, just barely legal by French standards, but she's another that's got a longer history than she should."

"Is she a samurai too?" Paul asked.

"She's had some of the training but not that much," Lupin told him.  "She's very well trained, but she was working with some ...nature spirits."

"Kitsune exist?" Jonas asked.  "One of the teachers *insisted* that they weren't real."

"I'll encourage one to become a plague," Xander said sweetly.  "Anything I can do to make some of the stubborn or bad Watchers retire I'm for."  Jonas snickered.  "Seriously."

"Oh, we wouldn't mind in the least.  She's one of the older ones. Even Ethan hates her.  She's simply knowledgeable."

"I'm sure she is," Xander said dryly.  "Let's see how she likes having some living examples in her rooms at night."  The waiter brought dinner.  "Can my friend have some raw chicken, sliced into strips please?" he asked. A dish was handed over.  "Thanks.  You guys are excellent, that's why we like coming here."  He carefully transferred the bird to the table so it could eat.  It cawed and dug in, eating hungrily.  "Good, bird."  He stroked the back feathers.  "Yes, you just needed someone to show you how special you are."

"Eat, Xander," Lupin said patiently.  "No playing with the pets at the table."  The waiter brought back a tray stand with a small tray on it, giving the bird a table and a perch all to itself.  He put it on top of a plastic drop cloth and Xander grinned as he transferred it over.  "Thanks," Lupin said, nodding at him.  "We tip people like you."  He smiled and left.  "I'll call tip."

"Fine," everyone else agreed. It would mean more money for the convention.

***

The day before the convention was to begin, Xander ran into a figure in the lobby of the hotel.  "Vicious," he said in greeting.

The man looked at him, then grimaced.  "Got tired of being the half-demon pup?"

"No, my costume had a rip.  I can't get it until tomorrow.  It was my second choice."  He grinned.  "I'm not taking your place, man, you do Vicious much better than I ever could."

"Yeah, but you've got a real bird," he sighed, looking at the bird.

"You can have him if you hand him back to the Native Conservatory people and tell them that he was spoiled rotten and treated like the great bird he was."

He smirked.  "You stole a bird for the convention?"

"Borrowed.  I'm giving him back.  They weren't appreciating him anyway."  He stroked the firm beak.  "See, he loves people.  They were being mean and keeping him in a tiny cage all the time then making him perform for kids."

"I would, but being arrested is not my thing," he offered.

"That's fine, we can easily hand him back."  He winked.  "He's been a good bird, a very good bird," he cooed as he held up a treat.  The raven snapped it up and gulped it then nuzzled his ear.  "See?"

"Wow.   He takes to hands very well."  He held a finger up and the raven slowly put his head down.  He scratched the back of it, making the bird happy by the sounds he was making.  "There you go, Torrent.  By the way, he's in the paper.  They think he escaped."

"Good."  Xander grinned.  "I can't wait to get my own costume back.  Oh, my lover's wandering around in there.  Be nice to him, okay?  He thinks I'm addicted."  They shared a smile and Xander went on.  He had always liked Vicious.  He ran into Ray in the hallway, he had been waiting for him apparently.  "Yes?"

"You're giving him back, right?"

"Oh, yeah.  We're showing them that he should be treated better."

"Good."  He stood up.  "Should I?"

"No!  He's not to be caged."

"I wasn't going to.  He can ride my shoulder back to the place.  I'm not gonna be mean to a pet or a kid, Xander."

Xander stroked his bird one last time then handed him over. "Here, have the treats too," he said, handing the bag over.  "Be very careful and move smoothly.  If you startle him, he'll dig his talons in and they're sharp."

"Sure.  Thanks.  They probably deserved it but still.  There are impressionable young people around."

"Sure, take all my fun," Xander said dryly, heading for the room to change.  He couldn't be Vicious without the bird.  He looked at his available outfits and sighed, then called his kimono guy.  "Hey, it's Xander.  Are they ready yet?"  He grinned.  "Really?  Be right there!"  He hung up and looked around before transferring himself over there.  He walked out of the alley and inside, accepting his packages with many bows.  "Thank you, great one," he said in Japanese.  "This makes me quite happy.  Do I owe you more?"  The man waved a hand so he bowed deeply.  "Thank you.  You have made this one ecstatic."  He jogged out and sent himself back once he was back in the shadows, then back to the hotel room once he grabbed a few more things out of his closet at the storage building.  He laid his outfits on the bed, looking them over.  "Hmm."  He checked each one over very carefully, nodding at the excellent condition it was in.  He tried on his new one and it was stiff, but it fit properly.  His old one was more comfortable but it was faded.  So he kept the new one on and put on his shoes and socks, then headed down with his sword.  He bowed to the registration person as he walked past her.  "Oh, come on," he said as he walked in and found Lupin.  "You're in my way."  He smirked.

"You take on the attitude very well," Lupin admitted.  "But don't use it with me.  I pinch in the middle of the night so you don't get any sleep."

Someone dressed as a schoolboy ran up to them and panted, leaning against Xander.  "Inuyasha, there's another here.  Looks like he leapt off the film.  He's it down to the attitude."

Xander nodded calmly.  "Lead me to him.  I'll give up my spot if necessary."  The boy led him off, leading him to where the other one was checking in.  "Hey."

The other kid looked up, then smirked. "You're too tall."

"I may be."  They walked around each other.  Each had an excellent outfit.  Each had a good sword.  The new kid had the necklace.  "I see you chase after school girls and the dead love of your life."

"I see you're the uncontrolled me," he said firmly, looking Xander over.  He nodded.  "I heard of you.  You win a lot of costume events.  You're still a human."  Xander rubbed something on his right wrist.  "Oh, I can tell.  It's not an issue."

Xander grabbed him and dragged him aside. "How did you get here?"

"Easy."  He flicked his tail and became a kitsune.  "Sorry, Xander.  I'll change if you want."

"No, stay.  I'll change. You deserve it for being so good."  He grinned and winked.  "Go have fun.  Tell my lover I'm changing and yielding to you."

"Sure."  He flicked his tails and became Inuyasha again.  Then he bowed.  "It was nice meeting with you.  Thank you for yielding the floor to me."

"You're right, I'm too tall."  He patted the kitsune on the back and walked him out.  "We agree, I'm going to yield.  He's new at this and he wants it more."  The waiting people laughed and cheered him for being such a good sport.  "Now I need to be someone else and unfortunately my raven just left."  He glanced at Vicious and grinned.  "Got any good suggestions?"

"You could become a standard demon," Vicious offered.

"No, that'd border on hentai and we all know the rules."  He frowned and tapped his finger on his chin.  Then he grinned and headed for the elevator.  "Save me some stuff, I'll be back in a few."

"Sure," the people who knew him called.

One of the people in the crowd looked at Vicious.  "He's like that Ruse comic."

"Definitely," he agreed dryly.  "Then again, look at who taught him," he said with a point at Lupin.

"Xander taught himself that," Lupin said, smirking at him.  "He's right, you do have the attitude down better."

"I try," he said smugly.  "Come, let us party until our dear shape-changer comes back."  He tapped Inuyasha on the back.  "Since when do you have a tail?"

"Oops."  He hid it and grinned.  "Sorry."

"That's all right.  It happens sometimes.  What are you really?"

"A kitsune.  I'm young and Xander wanted me to have fun my first time down here."

"And you chose to go as someone else?  You could win the costume things hands down."

"Ah, but why would I want to do that as myself?" he asked smugly.  Vicious nodded and patted him on the head.  "Thanks.  No Lotus?"

"She's coming to the family oriented one next month," Lupin said as he joined them.  "What is he becoming now?"

"Not a clue," they both admitted.

***

Back at the house, Sierra checked the locks on the doors, then grinned at her twin.  "They're in."

"Cool," she said happily.  "Come on, we need to do stuff now that we have the house all to ourselves."  They ran downstairs, joining the other older kids.  Bix and Marcus were with the kids in the nursery.  Goemon was locked in Xander's old room.  Jigen was locked in the shared bedroom.  Lotus had promised that she knew how to send food into them without them having to open the doors.  "Okay, we need to pull a job," Arsene announced.  Savannah and Sierra both looked at her.  "How else are you two going to learn what crooks are like if you don't help or study us?"

"Good point," they agreed.

"What did we want to do?" Ishi asked.  "I need to sharpen my sword if it's something major."

Arsene looked around, then smirked.  "We need to do that stupid gem show that's being held in two days time.  They're already set up.  Can we?"

Ishi considered it, then nodded.  Melissa frowned. "It'd take some work, Arsene, I don't even have a setup for it.  Do we know where it's being held?"

"We do, the thieve's bulletin board was most helpful.  They think daddy set us an assignment to figure it out on paper."  She handed over a disk.  "Here, plan it, let me know within four hours."  Melissa nodded. "Ishi, sword.  Lotus, are you coming?"

"I'll stay and guard," she offered.  "I don't like hurting people."

"Okay, you can hold the cab for us or the limo.  Whichever we get."  Lotus nodded.  "Ishi, we'll need some of the smoke and knockout grenades.  Are you two in or not?" she demanded of the good guys.  "We could use the bodies."

Sierra and Savannah looked at each other, then nodded.  "We need to learn how it's done so we can figure out other crooks later," Sierra decided.  "Studying the best will let us learn the flaws the others use."

"Deal," Arsene agreed.  "Melissa, work.  Ishi, work on your stuff.  Guys, let's show the daddies."  They all cheered and headed for their assignments.  Sierra would be picking out their clothes. Savannah could get them a rented car.  Lotus went to the kitchen to put down kitty and human food.

Upstairs, Jigen smirked and pulled out his cellphone as soon as the door lock was thrown.  He called Goemon's phone.  "Our kids are being sneaky," he said in greeting.  "Sure, we can follow 'em.  Can you get out?  I can climb down.  They forgot the arbor."  He laughed. "Sure, I'll meet you there."  He hung up and walked through the hidden passages, coming out in Xander's old room.  He looked at Goemon.  "They're good."

"Too good," he said dryly, glaring at the door.  "We should follow them to make sure they don't have any problems."

"Yeah, well, it's not a problem.  Our kids haven't learn subtlety yet."  He looked around and pressed on a piece of wall, opening another passage.  "The escape hatch to the garage."  He pressed it again and the door closed.  "How long do you think?"

"A few hours.  Ishi needed to sharpen his blade.  They'll need to plan things.  Which job do you think?"

"Artwork or gem show.  Probably the gem show.  Arsene was doing a bit of homework on the bulletin board about it.  Her dad saw it last night and wrote me from the hotel."

"Hmm."  He smirked.  "An excellent test."

"True," Jigen agreed.   He glanced around again at Xander's things.  "Lupin and Xan are gonna kick themselves for missing this one."

"They won't be.  The gem show is in the same hotel."

"Good point," Jigen agreed happily.  "I'll call Lupin on the way in."  He heard a squeal downstairs and looked out the peephole all rooms were equipped with.  "I don't know what that was."

"We could sneak down there and look," Goemon offered.

"No, if it was trouble, the kids would have yelled.  They know we can break locks and you've got your sword, right?"  He turned when he didn't hear anything, noticing Goemon's frown at the door.  "You don't?"

"I have the second one, I was working with it earlier.  It's the same, but it's balanced a bit differently due to the extra wear it's had."

"Can you use it?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Then we'll let the kids believe they've pulled a fast one until they come out.  Then we'll catch 'em."

Downstairs, Ishi was wiping his father's blade so the demon blood wouldn't corrode it.  "A worthy target for elimination," he said, spitting on the body.  "Never dare to appear here again."  The demon dissolved, leaving a gooey mess on the carpet.  "Watch out for the spot in the hallway, the demon dissolved," he called as he walked.  "I have Father's sword."

"Fine," Arsene agreed.  "Can you use it?"

"Of course.  I've been sneaking out every night for the last three years to practice with it.  I'm very good with it."

"That's fine then," Arsene agreed.  "Melissa has an idea already.  Let's get it done, people."  They headed into the sitting room with the laptop, just in case the office had bugs.  It's where Lupin planned and they never knew if he bugged his own office.

***

Lavelle came down the stairs as his new character, and everyone who knew him stared. "What?" he defended.  "Did you think I didn't watch cartoons growing up?"

"He's a six-foot-two, walking, talking white mouse who rides a Harley," Jerry said in amazement.  "It fits him perfectly.  Vinnie's a bit reckless, fun loving, loves rock and roll, and rides a motorcycle."

"It's the mouse version of Xander," Lupin agreed.  "Do you see any suit signs?"

"No," Jerry admitted, looking at him. "Can he do that?"

"Xander?  I have no clue," he admitted.   "I'm starting to realize I don't know very much about Xander on some levels."  He walked over and grinned at him.  "So, Martian boy, you gonna go for a ride tonight?  You didn't bring the bike."

"I did so.  My second one's at the storage house and I'm having Murami send it over later."  He walked his boyfriend into the convention. "So," he said with a rakish grin of his muzzle.  "What should we do now?"

"We should make sure that's a costume," Vicious called.  He walked over and felt the soft pelt, making Xander giggle. "Stop it, I'm not groping you for fun."  He found the zipper and then sighed. "It's a real costume," he announced.  He looked at the outfit.  "He's authentic, down to the distressed leather."  The other costume hopefuls groaned.  "Would you sit out of the costume stuff next year?"

"I'm going as a security officer to the family oriented one so I can track the kids.  It's a movie prop costume but I won't enter that one."

"Good enough, I'll be there," Vicious agreed, striding off, using his sword's scabbard to part some people out of his way.  He found Ray lounging to watch Xander.  "The rat is yours."

"He's a mouse," Ray said, grinning at him.  "Up to a duel?"

"No, thank you. I only know enough to look impressive with the blade.  You use your gun for work."

Ray snickered.  "True.  And so does Vinnie so maybe I'll challenge him."   Someone squealed loudly and he sighed.  "Sounds like he got the tail to work too."

Lupin looked at him. "Unhand the damsel, she's not in distress, Vincent."  Xander sighed but let her go.  "Thank you.  Grab me if you want to grab someone.  Or aren't I evil enough to take over the world and warrant your attention?"

Xander looked him over.  "Well, you are prettier than any bloated, smelly, Plutarkian slimebag," he agreed.  "I guess I could."  He used his robotic controls to whip his tail around and catch Lupin so he could be drug closer.  "Do you really want to try and take over the world?  We'd have to fight, babe."

Lupin smirked.  "Your room or mine?"

"We're sharing a room."  He nuzzled him before placing a gentle kiss on his nose.  "There, mouse style."  Then he let him go and strode off.

"Xander, can you actually ride a motorcycle?" Misty, the person who squealed, called.

"Yup, sure can."  He turned to grin at her.  "Fully and perfectly, babe.  Up for a ride?"  He wiggled his eyebrows.  She blushed.  "It's being delivered.  I had to have a scrape taken care of.  Dodging around those potholes you know."  He skipped off to stun his friends and awe his rivals.

"Xan, how did you do the tail?" Morton called when he saw him.

"Servo motors and tiny robotics.   I learned it from Lupin."  He waved at Paul, heading over to talk to him. "Hi."

"Shit," Paul sighed, shaking his head.  "At least I don't have to compete against you.  Mine's in the prop category."

Jonas walked over when he saw the tail flipping around some.  "Xander, that had better have a zipper," he said firmly.  "Or else I'll have to report you to Ethan and make him laugh if you get stuck."

"No, it's a costume, just excellently done," Xander said smugly.  "You like? I put in small robotic elements to make it more real."  He nuzzled Jonas' cheek then nipped him on the neck.  "Now, behave, you naughty Jedi padawan."  He winked and walked off, going back to his collecting things.

Vicious looked at Lupin.  "Can't you keep him occupied so some of us can win the costume contests?"

"I try," Lupin said dryly.  "I try really hard.  You'd think ten kids would help that, but no!  Not Xander!  He takes most of their care, helps me plan, pulls some of his own jobs, and runs the rest of us into the ground.  And this has been since he's slowed down!"  The nearby people shook their heads.  He looked at them.  "I'll have to have him help me find a character for the next convention."  He followed the blushing females.  "Xander, your tail had better not be flipping up skirts," he said firmly.  "I'm not sharing your big, hairy body."

"Gee, Lupin, I didn't know you swung toward hairy men," Teddy called dryly.  "Should I come up at any particular time tonight?"  Lupin blushed.  He chuckled. "Joke," he called after him.  "My wife would kill me."

"Mine too, Jigen'd get really mad at me," Lupin called back.

"If he wasn't married, I'd fix him up with Bix," Xander said when Lupin came up to him.  He wrapped his tail around Lupin's wrist and grinned at him.  "Caught you again, you evil overlord wannabe."

"What do you mean wannabe?  I'm taking over the world in a slow and methodical process so my daughter can be the empress."   The stand owner gave him a long look.  He beamed. "Lupin the Third," he said, shaking her hand.  "Xander's one of the best prizes I ever stole."  He noticed the mouse was looking embarrassed and pinched him on the side.  "Behave.  Remember, you're a good guy at the moment."

"Yeah, I can use all my former memories of being a good guy to help me," he agreed brightly.

"Crap, it's a six-foot talking mouse," a young boy said.  "I told you Mars was real and that they were gonna invade us," he told his friend, who ran off.

Xander looked after the kids.  "They need help," he noted.  The stand owner laughed and nodded.  He took his change and his bag.  "Thanks, babe.  More evil to slay and cheese fries and hotdogs to eat."

Lupin looked around the costumed and uncostumed people, shaking his head.  "Our kids will fit right in with this insanity," he decided, having to follow since that tail was really strong.  "Xander, your tail is very strong and I can't crack safes if I don't have feeling in my hand," he complained.  It was loosened some but he still followed the tugging of the tail.  It was a handcuff he could appreciate.  He caught Ray's eye and grinned. "He caught me."

"I can see that," he agreed.  He shook his head.  "You poor thing, having to sleep with a species that isn't anatomically compatible."

"Said who?" Xander quipped.  "We certainly hit on enough chicks in Chicago."  He smirked and walked on.

***

After dinner that night, Xander walked Lupin around the various suites that were doing things, letting him browse.  He heard a familiar voice and stopped to look, then grinned and nudged Lupin.  "They got impatient."

Lupin watched as the kids strolled toward the elevators, looking like they belonged, they had just been out for a stroll and a look around but their parents were now waiting for them upstairs.  He checked his watch, then groaned.  "Gem show."  He hit himself on the head.  "Damn it. I should have figured the kids would do this."

Morton looked at the kids, then at them.  "Yours?"  Lupin and Xander both nodded, smirking at him.  "Gem show upstairs?"

"They decided to prove it was their turn to be the bad guys," Xander said fondly, grinning now.  "My kids are so great."

"How did they talk Savannah and Sierra into it?"

"Probably by pointing out that they'd need to know how to do it to counter future crooks.  We should give them the same lessons so they know how anyway, Lupin."  He put a hand on his arm until the elevator doors closed.  "Should we follow?"

"Oh, yeah.  The guards will be armed."   They headed for the stairs until the fire alarm went off.  "Crap," Lupin said, heading up the stairs at a dead run.  "They stole gas canisters too!" he called back.

Xander, sensibly, took the elevators up.  He came out on the floor, breathing through the compact breather he usually carried with him, heading through the smoke for a good vantage point.  His new goggles were handy for that too.  He had been presentient when he had stolen them with the grenade launcher.  He watched as the kids smashed the cases and grabbed the whole trays, smart of them not to pick the individual jewels off.  He grabbed Lupin and pulled him behind him, allowing him to steal the goggles.  They both hid when the kids, in full gas masks with infrared and night vision goggles trooped past.  They headed down into the crowd still running down the stairs, stuffing their gear away while they walked.  Xander glanced at Lupin, who went in to look things over, before following the kids out.  Lupin joined him and Xander nudged, pointing at their partners waiting on the kids.  They both stood back and waited, nodding at Jigen when he spotted them.

Jigen nudged Goemon, who nodded as well.  They supposed it had to be Lupin and Xander, though they weren't sure who the mouse really was.  They got out of the car and headed over to the hired car, grinning at the driver before he could close the door. "They all in?"  The driver swallowed.  "They're ours."

"Oh.  I guess that's all right then.  Saying goodbye?"

"More like they're grounded," Jigen agreed happily.  He and Goemon both looked inside the car. "Hi."  He smirked at them.  "You guys are in so much trouble.  Now get out and take a wave, Arsene."  Arsene and Melissa both waved when they saw their fathers.  "Take them home," he told the driver.  "They can drive through somewhere for dinner if they must."  He handed over a few bills.  "Try for something somewhat healthy.  We'll meet them at the house to look over their haul."

Goemon took his sword, frowning at his son.  "You were not ready for that yet."

Ishi decided he might as well lay it all out and go for balls-on confidence this time, he was already in trouble what more could his father do to him for this?  "Father, I've been sneaking it out to practice for the last three years."

"Really?" he asked dryly.  Ishi swallowed and nodded.  "Then we will be talking, son.  Go home.  You may get a treat on the way, but you are to go home."  He stood up and closed the door, locking it.  Jigen checked the handle.  He looked over as the car drove off, never noticing the shadow that had snuck around them from the other side of the car. "Should we protest or praise?"

"I'm going for a mixture.  The other two will praise so we'll hand out faults."

"They did pretty good upstairs," Xander noted as he joined them.  "They stole the whole trays instead of single gems.  Only left a few because their smoke cover was running out."

Lupin nodded.  "They did very good, very inline with their skills and abilities.  Nothing too hard that they couldn't do.  Nothing over-planned.  Did you give them money for dinner?"  Jigen nodded.  "Good.  You guys praise and we'll give an honest critique when we come back."  He steered Xander back inside, noticing a kid waiting on them.  "Letting them divide up the take?" he asked their nephew.

Ishi nodded, hugging them.  "I trust Arsene and Melissa.  They'll behave or I'll pout and whine plus I won't teach them anything else."  He grinned at Xander.  "Can I stay?"

"Sure," he agreed, patting him on the back.  "I don't think the costume will fit you but you can go without this year, kiddo."  He walked his nephew up to the desk.  "Our boy here wants to join the convention.  Is there a room open?"

"We have a few suites left," she offered.

"Then we'll take that and give him ours," Lupin said.  "Keeping one of the keys of course."  The check in girl smiled and nodded.  "Can you block the porn on the tv?"

"Sure.  Not a problem," she agreed, continuing to type.  "On the same card?"  Xander nodded.  "That's fine."  She handed them another set of keys.  "There you go.  The registration desk is still set up if you needed them."

"Sure do," Xander said happily, dragging Ishi with him.  "Misty!"  She turned and grinned at him.  "This is Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth.  My beloved Godson and nephew.  He snuck away to attend with us.  He'll need admittance."

"Sure.  Does he do the older anime or the kids?"

"Both," he admitted.  "I never really got the point of Dragonball, any of them, but I do Gundam and I do most of Uncle Xander's with him."  Lupin nudged him.  "Oh, I swear I will not steal anyone's collections or touch their precious things that are convention related.  They are safe from me.  You have my word of honor."  She smiled and hugged him.  "Thank you."

"You're a good kid, Ishi," Lupin noted.  "We'll let you call your father later to tell him you snuck away."  He looked at her.  "The kids were here."

"The gas thing upstairs?" she guessed.  He nodded.  "Gem show?"  Xander beamed and nodded. "You must be very proud of them."

"Oh, we are, and we're going to give them much praise and a fair assessment of what they just did," Xander admitted.  "Then they're going to give it back."  Lupin looked stunned.  "They're too young and they weren't covered by that, Lupin."

Ishi coughed.  "I think Arsene is looking to liquidate things on the way home.  She had someone meet them at a fast food place."  Lupin burst out in giggles, hugging him.  "Thanks, Uncle Lupin."  He grinned.  "I was a good boy, I waited in the car."

"I'm sure you were, but the only cop around here is Ray and he's probably still grumbling upstairs."

"Good.  I was still a good boy.  I didn't touch any of the jewels."  He accepted his packet.  "Anything going on tonight?"

"A few viewing parties, some more comic swapping and buying.  No costume?"

"I was hoping that Miroku would fit him but I think he's too big.  Where's Jerry?"

"Ballroom three in the Gundam viewing."

"Thanks," Xander said as he and his nephew strolled off together.  "You've got to meet the guys.  They're still doing the viewing stuff, I know they are.  It didn't affect most of us at all.  Nice job with the smoke by the way.  Very well done."

"Thanks."  He let his uncle open the door then walked in.  "Hi," he said when everyone looked at them.  "Are we late?"

"Jerry, my man, this is Ishi."  He patted him on the back.  "He snuck away to join us."

Jerry shook his hand. "You made the vow?"

"On my honor," Ishi agreed seriously.

"Good.  Come sit and watch.  You're right, the costume won't fit him.  That's okay though, I know someone else who wanted it for their daughter and it'll fit her for a few more years."  He pulled Ishi into the empty seat beside him and put an arm around his back.  "So, you're young.  Do you get Gundam?"

"I do actually and it's one of my favorites," Ishi offered.  "I've even begun collecting the statues and the models you can put together.  Plus the video game.  It's helping my hand- eye coordination."

"Excellent.  It's good that you know what fun is and that it's not all training.  Xander, we're doing Gundam."

"Not my area of the field, man.  Ishi, we'll shift stuff around, then we'll be in ballroom four.  Come find us when you're done."  Ishi nodded, grinning at him.  "Come on, we can trust Jerry.  He runs an orphanage in his spare time."

"Sure," Lupin agreed.  "Have fun and be good, Ishi."  He followed Xander out.  He was starting to see why people like these things.  Conventions were kind of fun.  Jigen might not like it, but he could appreciate it.  "We need to have one of these for thieves."

"We'd never get them all in the same building without them thinking it's a trap," Xander pointed out.

"Good point, but it'd be fun.  We'd need to make tapes of their greatest plans and hits though.  Like the assassins do."

"I went to their shopping day, it was kinda fun, but very quiet in there," Xander noted.  He pushed the button for the elevator, then looked as someone grabbed his tail.  "Hi," he said with a smile. "Don't bite that, it's got electronics in it, kid.  Um, mom?" he called.  Three women turned to look at him so he pointed down. "Did one of you have one that likes tails?  Mine's got electronics in it."  A woman rushed over and grabbed her son, patting him as she walked away.  "It's okay, I've got some too," Xander assured her.  "Mine usually grab my legs."  The mother smiled at him as she went to talk to the others. The elevator opened and Ray opened his mouth but stayed in there while Lupin and Xander walked in.  "It wasn't us."

"It was the kids," Lupin told him.

"I noticed.  Xander, please watch your tail.  I don't like guys that way."  He removed the tail from his crack and frowned at him.  "Behave, or at least try."

"Sorry.  Hit the button," Xander admitted, taking his tail to hold.  "I was trying to make it move.  A baby just gummed it."

Ray snorted, shaking his head.  "Why am I plagued with you?"

"Because I'm fun, cute, and need a really good cop to catch me," Xander said smartly.  Then he kissed him hard before they got off on their floor.  "He tastes good."

"He should, he was eating chocolate earlier," Lupin agreed, taking the tail to stroke.  He heard the boy shift and the leathers squeak when he got hard.   "Ooh, is your tail *sensitive*?"

"Don't do that here, man.  I don't want Ishi to sleep on the bed where you've taken me hard."  He looked down the hall, waving at a cleaning lady.  "We're shifting rooms so our nephew can have this one.  Can you remake the bed?"  She nodded, going to get her cart instead of treating the stain on the carpet.  "Thanks."  He walked in and they packed everything quickly, heading up to their new suite.  "Hey, more room for my stuff," he said happily, hanging his costumes on the rack behind the door.  He undid the headpiece and heard a growl, turning in time to be pounced.  "You want me on the floor?  When we have a couch and a bed?"

"Quiet, tease."  He pulled off the headpiece and then the nosepiece, putting them carefully aside so he could kiss his mate.  "Get out of that fur bodysuit unless you want me to take you through it."  Xander wiggled and flipped over, letting him get the zipper.  He moaned as it was lowered.  "Good, tease.  Very good.  Keep yourself like that."  He got him stripped and hung the costume up, then led Xander to the bed, where he pushed him down onto it and pounced again.  This was his real reward.  Xander was his again and he understood him a bit better.  More than enough reason to celebrate.

***

Goemon looked up as his son walked in chatting with his uncles.  "Did I not say you were in trouble?" he asked calmly.

"I found my costume for next year," Ishi said happily, hugging him.  "I was a very good boy and I met a lot of people who are very interesting, plus a girl who goes to a local school we should look at.  She said it's quite nice and it does board."  He held up his t-shirt.  "Uncle Xan won another costume contest, this time as a Biker Mouse."  He headed up to his room with his bags.

"Do I wish to know?" Goemon asked.

Xander handed over the picture.  "He's a good guy but the tail thing is very fun."

Ishi skipped back down the stairs.  "They gave him a special award too since he had to go through a few characters this time.  He was the best shape shifter there they said," he announced proudly.  The other kids clapped.  "Plus, Uncle Xander found a *ton* of new anime to show us."

"Yes, he did," Lupin agreed dryly.  "Having seen the people who are really addicted, Xander's only on the edge of that area."  He looked from Goemon to Ishi and back.  "He was good the whole time," he promised.  "He got our old room, we had them block the pay- per-view porn.  He behaved excellently while in the convention."

"He still snuck off."

"Hey, he's a future thief and assassin.  It showed skill to sneak away from you and Jigen," Xander offered.  "I've got to put my costumes up.  Vinnie's a bit heavy."  Lupin nodded so he headed up to his old room.  He'd have to do that again next year. He came down to find the two men still staring at each other.  "Goemon, we treated him like we do the girls.  He was very good."

"He still broke the rules I set."

"And for that you can ground him.  Until then, he was very good.  He did get a kiss from a girl for being so good.  They had a small exhibition among the really big fans of Star Wars with fake light sabers and Ishi noted that both of them were moving oddly.  He took one when offered and showed them both up.  Someone said it was too bad he's not shorter, then he could be Yoda."

"The things I teach him are not for the amusement of others," Goemon said firmly.

"Goemon, when you were young, you can't tell me you didn't show off for the clan's girls."  Goemon shook his head.  "Not at all?"

"No.  That would have been showing off and it was not encouraged."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "Okay then, normal young men do show off, it's part of how they attract mates and earn respect.  That's how he got the kiss and the recommendation of the school.  She was only a year older and she was really in awe of his arm muscles there for a bit. Her mother and I both chaperoned while Lupin laughed his ass off, but he was very honorable, polite, and decent to her."

"Still, he broke my rules and he showed off.  He was grounded."

"And he still is and you have every right to add extra time because of it," Xander pointed out.  "Relax, Goemon!  You knew we had him.  He called you."

"I did not talk to my son."

"Ishi, who did you talk to?"

"Sierra.  She said father was in bed.  I talked to Lotus as well."

"We told him," Lotus defended. "Did you forget to call again last night as well?"

"Oops," he admitted sheepishly.  "I was at the dance, watching the other teenagers to see what they were doing.  I had no idea that dances included dancing with others."

"Another event we chaperoned," Lupin said quickly before Goemon could open his mouth.  "There were a lot of parents there, it was mandatory if the kids were attending."  Goemon calmed down and seemed to relax.  "He should have called, but we had to put him into his bed.  He fell asleep during the dance."

"Fine."  He looked at his son. "You are grounded for an extra week."

"Yes, father," he agreed, nodding in agreement. "I do deserve it for being so bad about not calling and worrying you.  It is not honorable to worry you that way and I understand that.  May we talk about this school?  It sounds quite fascinating and is just up the road, between here and Paris."

"We'll see," Goemon said, watching his son.  "Go to your room, son, we will still be talking about you practicing with my sword without my permission."

"Yes, father."  He trotted back up the stairs to put things away.  He had only put things on his bed before.

"Come on, Goemon, you know very well we were watching him. You know I'd never let anything happen to your son," Xander pleaded.  "He was really good.  He had a lot of fun.  Sure, he was cute and young and adorable and some of the girls tried to chat with him, but he did what you do and blushed heavily and clammed up."  Goemon's mouth fell open as he looked at him. "Ishi was much loved by the ladies.  They all thought he was adorable and strong.  That was before the demonstration.  He did that out of respect for his future art.  He was a wonderful kid and he didn't even try to sneak into the more adult sections of the convention.  Not even when the girls following him around like a harem suggested it.  He was very good and polite to all of them.  Half the convention was watching him for us if we weren't within direct line of sight.  I had friends all over and they all adored him, helping him find his character.  Please let him come with me?"

"Fine," he sighed, walking away.  "My son and I will be talking. Next time, make sure the girls leave him alone."

"Ishi's one hot little kid," Lupin pointed out.  "He got fans without letting anyone know who he was."  Goemon let out a moan.  "Just think, you can laugh when our girls start dating," he soothed.

Goemon nodded. "Count on it."  He headed up to his son's room, finding him arranging pictures.  He looked at them.  "You look good in that outfit, son."  His son grinned weakly at him. "I am disappointed that you could not follow my orders.  You knew better."

"I'm sorry, Father, but they were having fun and it was fun.  Please don't be mad?"

"Son," he sighed, sitting on the bed to look at the boy.  He looked him over, noticing he was not the young boy he used to carry around anymore.  His son was tall, strong, straight, and his hair was messy.  "Smooth your hair.  You look like a Potter."

"Sorry, father," he said quickly, smoothing it down.  "Someone suggested I should go as Draco."

"No, I think not, son," he said dryly.  He pulled him over to hug him.  "From now on, ask if you want to attend such places.  I would have allowed it if you had asked.  Perhaps not this one, but the one in Geneva definitely," he assured him gently.  He looked at the boy.  "Do you understand why I worry?"

"Perfectly.  There was a bad person at the dance.  Xander's tail nearly got broken when he hurt him with it."

"His tail?"

"His costume was as one of the Biker Mice From Mars.  I have the series on DVD if you wanted to watch it with me."  Goemon nodded, he could do that.  "He made a killer Vinnie.  He was even challenged to a riding contest and won hands down."  He grinned. "You would have liked it.  People were there to get together with people like them."

"I'm sure I would have.  We'll go to them together from now on."  He stood up, patting his son on the shoulder, which wasn't as far down as he thought it should be.  "You will not be attending Geneva because you are grounded, but the next one you may go to and I will be escorting you from now on so you don't have to watch your uncles grope."

"They let me have their single room and got a suite since that's all that was left. They had a key to my room and everything, father.  I promise, I was well watched and they saved me from the girls.  Why did they follow me around that way and make odd suggestions?"

"Because, son, you are tall, strong, and handsome.  Girls are like that from what I understand."  He patted him again.  "Did you find your character?" Ishi nodded, opening his closet to pull down the hanging bag so he could see.  "It does fit you," he agreed, smiling at him.  He recognized it from a great many cartoons he had watched with his son. "Put it away and join me outside, son.  I wish to see what you truly know.  Do not become like your Uncle Xander and hide things from me.  I welcome you becoming better than I am."

"Uncle Xander doesn't like to look dumb in front of others.  I didn't want to disappoint you."

"You are not, son.  You are already beyond where I was.  Then again, we started your training earlier and you have more teachers.  Still, I would rather see than not see and have it surprise me some morning when I'm not totally awake."  He steered his son outside, handing him the practice sword. "Show me."  He put his aside and picked up a practice blade as well.  He noticed Lotus watching and looked at her.  "You don't need to help."

"Of course I do, I'm cheerleading."

"Fine," he agreed, blocking Ishi's blow just in time.  He looked at his son.  "Attacking when they're not paying attention?"

"In real fights you can't always wait for them to bow properly and some don't understand."

"Then you don't take the first blow, son.  Any other time you may attack but if they're not honorable enough to properly acknowledge you then you will not attack that first blow."  Ishi nodded and backed away.  "Be like your uncle in that part, just not the hiding things part."

"Yes, father."  He grinned.  "Can I do what I did at the convention?"  Goemon nodded and the boy attacked, quickly, deadly accurate, and interspersing some tumbling.  Goemon was quite pleased, his son had found his style and he was very good.  Now he recognized that move.  "Yoda," he teased as he pushed his son back.

"Mini, thank you."  He attacked again after brushing some hair out of his eyes.  In the middle of the attack, he did something unexpected, almost dance like.

"When did you watch the Three Musketteers, son?" he asked fondly.

"Last year sometime.  Fencing looks interesting."  He ducked a blow and got around his father, attacking from the side and making him move.  "Sorry, Uncle Xander's and Uncle Marcus' styles seem to fit me best."

"That is fine, son.  Not all battles are fought face-to-face across a field.  It is good that you know both styles.  Hold."  Ishi stepped back, panting hard.  "Enough for a few moments.  We'll work on your endurance as you age."  He stepped closer.  "You are more than worthy to wear the family name, son.  You are very good."  Ishi beamed and hugged him.  "Thank you."  He hugged him back.  "I'm very proud of you and how well you've learned.  Soon you'll have to have another teacher."  He kissed his son on he head.  "Now, let us work on a few of those moves, you looked a bit unbalanced."

"It's this growing stuff," he complained as he pulled back, subtly wiping his cheeks.  "I'm always off balance and I'm feeling odd, dad."

"Of course you are," he agreed gently.  "As did we all, son. I spent my thirteenth year wishing my feet would quit growing."  Ishi laughed at that.  "We can work on some balance work instead.  It will help with that and with your acrobatics."

"Can I take tumbling lessons for real?"

"If you desire and your school has them.  If not, we'll arrange it somehow."  He walked him inside, taking him to the gym.  "From now on, all that you learn will happen in here and you are not allowed to practice anything new outside this room and without supervision.  Just as we tried to enforce with Xander we will enforce with you.  The woods are not a place to learn how to fight.  At least not yet.  That's an advanced lesson."  Ishi nodded, putting his practice blade down carefully.  Then he took off and did a small tumbling run for his benefit.  "Excellent."  He was impressed.  His son needed more formal training in that though. "Lupin?"  Lupin ducked his head in.  "Do we have someone to teach him and the girls tumbling?"

"I can find someone," he offered.  "Just tumbling?"

Ishi cartwheeled and picked up his sword on the way.  He stood up and brandished it.

"Just tumbling then," Lupin agreed.  He shook his head as he headed for the kitchen.  "Tumbling now."

"It's good for them," Jigen offered. "Fujiko wanted to see you today."

"Fine."  Lupin accepted the glass of tea.  "Is Xander napping?"

"Yup.  Am I going to have to hide in fear in Geneva?"

"No, be the smooth, quiet man we know you can be and it'll be fine," he promised, patting him on the back as he walked away. "I had fun."

Jigen nodded slowly, then added a shot to his tea.  "I'm sure I will.  Maybe I won't have hives."  He went to lounge in the study, reading to the kid that was sitting in there waiting to pounce him.  "Hey, Fred.  Bored?"  He nodded, climbing in his lap with the book.  "Sure."  Jigen put his tea aside, he wouldn't drink around the kids.

***

Jigen looked around the convention, then at Xander, who was a big gray mouse.  "You enjoy this?"

Xander nodded. "It's only getting started.  Lounge around if you want.  They're expecting you to be with me.  Everyone knows."  He trotted off to chat with his friends, letting Jigen make his own way over.  You didn't force a man like Jigen, you let him choose his own approach and let him make his own entrance.  "Hey, guys."

"No fair, Modo this time," Jerry complained.  "You make way too much money, Xander."

"Hey, I had the kids help me build it," Xander complained. "It was training for them to build little things to do surveillance for them."  He grinned and his muzzle followed.  "So, what's up today?"

"Nothing much.  We expected you yesterday."

"Sorry, had to talk to someone.  She didn't think I needed a new bike, but I convinced her."

"Is that what you call getting on your knees and pleading for the wreck?" Jigen asked as he joined them.

"Well, yeah, with her," Xander agreed with a grin for him.  "Guys, this is my other boyfriend, Jigen."

"Hey," he said, nodding once.  "Do all of you guys dress up?"

"Only the dedicated ones," Jerry said, taking off his helmet to straighten out his blond hair.  "You could have."

"Lupin said I could be myself and you'd like me better," he said dryly.

"You could be one of the American gangsters from a movie," Paul offered.  "You're dressed like they are and you can't see your eyes."  He grinned at Xander.  "No sword?"

"Upstairs."

Ten guys in Reagan masks ran in with shotguns and pointed them at the room.  "Freeze!" one yelled.  "This is a stickup."

Xander pointed his hand cannon at them and fired, taking out four of them.  "Shoot, I need to fix the aim on this thing."

"That's it, you've been spending too much time as Goemon, Xander.  You're grounded to the range when we get home."

"Yes, Jigen," he said sheepishly.  "The aim's off.  I'm not used to having one that's part of my arm."

"Yay.  You're spending the next month in the range with me to make sure you don't lose your primary skills.  I picked you to be a gunman, not Goemon Jr."

"He's got one of those," Jerry noted.  "Ishi's damn good."

"He is," Jigen agreed.  "So's Xander, but he's been slacking off in his primary area."

Xander pulled his other gun and shot the others in short order, all wounding blows. "There, see, I haven't lost my skills.  It's just this new gun that's throwing me off."  He stuck his tongue out.  "So there."  He put it up and waved at someone, jogging off to hug them, getting in a tail-around-the-waist as well.

"Xander!" she said, swatting him.  "No more tail teasing!  Naughty mouse!"

Jigen shook his head. "Sorry, I think it's about time I tamed the mouse."

"Not that mouse," Paul said smugly.  "Trust me, you won't get him tamed soon."

"Wonderful," Jigen said dryly, moving that way.  He caught the tail and gave it a tug.  "Your tail should only go around me, hotshot.  Not the dames."

"Since you're offering," he said, turning to hug Jigen and carry him off. "We'll be back in a bit.  I've got to rumple him."

"Put me down, Xander," he warned.  "Or no new anime."  Xander put him down and nuzzled him fondly.  "Get off.  If you can't kiss me for real, then don't nuzzle and don't promise."  Xander kissed him and then hummed, skipping off to find his new toys.  He *needed* new toys.  Jigen shook his head, groaning a bit.  "That boy," he sighed.

I Think I Forgot To Calculate For Other Strangeness.

Notes: Josette pointed out something.  If the time switch happened, then it would have happened back before they all got together in Crossover Saloon.  Which means that some things are now a paradox.  She seemed to think I was good enough to figure this one out.

Lotus Goemon woke from a sound sleep with a wordless scream, looking around.  She saw her uncle's bird and pulled him over to hug him.  They had never decided on a name for the bird, but she called him Comforting.  "I screwed up so badly," she whispered.  He squeaked at her so she let him go a bit.  She looked into his eyes.  "I didn't remember to calculate for you, Comforting."  The bird gave her a disgusted look.  "Yes, how you got here.  I forgot it in my calculations and I forgot to tell the kitsune," she sighed, shaking her head.  She got out of her bed and headed out to the living room of the house they were staying in.  It was a hideout but her father had wanted to take them away from the others for a weekend.  She looked up at the ceiling.  "Auntie Dawn, I fucked up majorly," she hissed.  A portal opened and she trotted through, not caring if she woke anyone else or not.  She ran into her Uncle's body and grimaced.  "I so majorly forgot a variable in the biggest and hardest math problem of all times and it'll hurt everyone if I don't fix it.  Where's Auntie Dawn?"

"Her workroom.  What did you forget, Lotus?" he asked tiredly.

"Ah, um, remember going to an alternate plane and getting a shiny bird?" she asked, inching away from him.  He scowled.  "I forgot that," she admitted with a touch of hysteria.  She ran for her aunt's workroom, slamming the door behind her before her uncle could get pissed.  "I so totally forgot to calculate for the cross-realmal traveling that we did to get my bird and those artifacts," she announced.  Dawn finished waking up and frowned at her.  "Seriously.  That happened after the choker, right?"  Dawn thought back and nodded.  "Well, I didn't take it into account but our bird is still sitting at home.  Wouldn't that be a paradox?"

Dawn considered it while she yawned, then she nodded.  "Definitely.  Marcus, Ethan, Ripper?" she called out.  "Yo, little furry Lord guy, you too!"

The Kitsune lord appeared with a nightcap on his head and in a nightgown. "I have a name, Key," he said dryly.  He smiled at Lotus.  "Is there some problem?  I wasn't aware I had activated that spell tonight."

"I totally forgot to take into account the cross-realmal traveling daddy did," she told him.  He frowned.  "Shiny bird called a phoenix?  Sounding familiar?"

"Crap," he swore.  "Let me get dressed.  I'm assuming the others are coming."

"Hopefully," Dawn agreed.  "That's more mathematical than I like my magic."  She yawned again.  "I'll go put on some coffee and water for Ethan and Ripper, whichever shows up."

"That's fine, I'll be right back and I'll tell your father what's happened, Lotus."  She smiled at him, giving him a hug.  "At least you figured it out before everything went unstable, dear."  He disappeared, trudging back to his bedroom to get dressed again.  He had barely gotten to sleep, his youngest kit was teething.  He was welcomed with a wail.  "Quit," he growled.  It stopped.  "Thank you."  He headed into his bathroom, slamming the door to wake the mother of the child.  She woke up and frowned, but got up to cuddle the baby fox some more.

Ethan appeared in the kitchen, handing over his tea mug.  "What's happened now?"

"Cross-realmal travel?"

"Fuck," he said succinctly.  "No wonder I had to shield that thing again."  He looked back as Dawn opened a portal for both Rippers and Marcus.  "Come along.  Lotus just realized we have a paradox in motion."

The vampire Ripper looked at him and sneered.  "About?"

"Those artifacts that are going to explode because we never went there to gather them," Ethan told him.

"Fuck," the vampire Ripper said tiredly.  "Why now?"

"I had a bad dream and it showed me," she said from the doorway.  "I called the main house to get Uncle Arsene up.  He's not very happy either.  He hates it when he loses Uncle Xander for even a day."  She walked in.  "I think we need to talk to the others involved."

Dawn looked at her.  "That might help," she admitted.  "None of us are masters of paradox."

"No, but that Iggy kid said he was," Lotus pointed out.  Dawn smirked at her.  "Sorry, but I want some help on this!  I'm only ten, I don't usually go around screwing up the order of the universe for fun!"

"No, that's more Ethan's thing, love," the human Ripper, Rupert Giles, noted calmly, giving her a pat on the head.  He glared at his vampire self and then at Dawn.  "Well?"

"We can do that," Ethan offered.  "There's bound to be a time difference."

"So?" Lotus asked.  "It's probably a better time for them than us."

"True," Marcus agreed, giving her a hug as he picked her up.  "It's very good that you owned up to screwing up some, dear.  It means you're ready to take on harder tasks and hopefully get them right."

She pinched him on the nose.  "Uncle Marcus, I just sent ten people back in time in a fit of desperation.  Let's have me do the normal stuff before I have to do something *bigger* than that."  She looked at Ethan.  "Would the trips Uncle Xander took back to Imperial Japan be a similar problem since we brought the second sword forward?"

He blinked a few times.  "You brought it from there, I'm not sure," he admitted.  "No kitsune?"

"He went to put on clothes," Dawn said tiredly.  "Who are we calling, does anyone know?  I remember there was a Xander in each one.  I remember there were Xander kids in two of the three worlds that met there.  Or do we call a conference for the bar instead of a video imaging thing?"

"I'm not sure Iggy's realm has electricity," Lotus offered.  Her kitsune teacher appeared with the Lord.  "Sorry to wake everyone, but this is a big problem that I forgot, plus I just thought of a second problem."  The kitsune lord waved a hand.  "Ancient time traveling that my dad did with Uncle Xander and Uncle Xander did alone."

"What was brought back?" the kitsune's magic teacher asked.

"Daddy's family's other sword, some kimonos, I think maybe some jewels or something," she admitted.  "You'd have to ask Uncle Xander, but I do know our association with you guys stems from that."

The magic teacher looked at his former student.  "I had wondered how you ran into someone like the Envoy Xander," he said dryly.

"He was working to free someone from where I was stealing something pretty."

"Ah."  He nodded and patted his lord on the back. "I understand.  Any other interesting trips, Lotus?  Say to meet aliens or something?"

"Not that I was told, you'd have to ask Uncle Xander," she quipped.

Xander, their Xander, walked into the kitchen and frowned at everyone present.  "Usually only I get a group like this together after doing something dumb, yet necessary.  What's happened now?"

"Lotus forgot about your trip across to the bar," Dawn told him, "and your ones back to Imperial Japan."

Xander raised an eyebrow.  "Okay.  I can sense a heavy coffee drinking day ahead.  Got any food or should I try to cook, Dawn?"

"Lavelle, how did you get in here!" Inspector Zenigata yelled, storming into the kitchen.  "I was watching, there wasn't a portal so I know you weren't invited."

Xander smirked at him.  "Has it not occurred to you that I can teleport like Ethan and Marcus?"

Zenigata let his jaw opened as he blinked, then he whimpered and shuddered.  "That's it, I want to move to a world without him, Dawn.  Please?" he pleaded.

She kissed him gently.  "I swear, Xander can't teleport in here usually," she soothed, giving him a gentle stroke the back as she calmed him down.  "It's an emergency and the worlds could snap again. It's necessary this time."

Zenigata steeled himself, then glared at Xander.  "Prove it.  I say you snuck in.  That would make you a trespasser and I could arrest you then."

Xander grimaced, then shrugged and disappeared, coming back smelling like gunpowder, water, and holding a very pretty crown.  "As you wished, Inspector.  They're all fine.  They tried to shoot me, nothing more."  He looked at Marcus.  "Okay, you're in charge of the bakery run.  Take Rupert with you for now, he'll be frustrated soon.  Ethan, let's set out the lines of things that might be like this?"  Ethan nodded and grabbed the tea kettle to bring with him.  "Dawn, you might as well import the coffeemaker so we don't have to get funny looks from your kids.  We'll figure this out, people."

"I think we should talk to Iggy.  He said he's a master of the paradox," Lotus offered.  "We can use the bird as a cue-in accessory."

"That would help us fine-tune things," Dawn agreed.  She unplugged the coffeemaker once it was done, bringing it with her.  "Ripper, Rupert, bring cups.  Second cabinet from the right of the sink."  Everyone followed into the workroom but her husband.

He was still staring at the crown and whimpering in fear.  If he could do this, then Lupin was unstoppable.   There was no way Interpol could protect against this sort of power.  He picked up the phone and dialed a number off his wife's cell, something he had memorized in case something happened to one of the kids while they were running away.  "If he can teleport anywhere, then why haven't you taken over the world?" he asked miserably.

The answer of 'where's the fun in that', soothed him some.  That was just like Lupin.

"They're all here figuring out a paradox.  He'll be home sometime soon.  Send the bird."  He hung up and went to get dressed so he could give the thing to his boss.  He wasn't due in so he only put on jeans and a t-shirt, something Dawn had given him, then went jogging out to his car.  He drove to headquarters and walked inside carrying it lightly. A few people stared at him and he growled, so they turned around quickly.  He knocked on his boss' office and walked in at the quiet grunt.  He put it on her desk.  "Lavelle was showing off, he said so," he said grimly, then he went back home.  He walked upstairs and climbed back into his bed after stripping, turning off the light.  He wasn't moving until the magic stuff downstairs was done unless the kids needed him.  Let his boss explain this one or how he had gotten the crown off Queen Elizabeth's head.

***

Xander looked at the two time switches noted, then at his list of things that had come back with them.  "I think the main one's going to be the sword from the temporal aspect," he decided.  "The others were small things that I think I still have.  Except one of the hair sticks, I think I may have sold that but I always carry a lot of backups for quick sales."  He looked at Ethan.  "Then again, I got those from back then in the marketplace."  He shrugged. "I'm not usually this logical in my magic use."

"Obviously," the vampire Ripper said bitterly.  "Why did you bring all this crap back?"

"Mostly because I was wearing it at the time," Xander said snidely.  "Did you want me to come back naked and land in the middle of a street?"  Ripper smirked at him and licked his lips.  "You are still stakeable.  I do still work with the slayers."

"Fine," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Which one?" the human Ripper asked.

"Demara.  The Chronicle you wanted is nearly finished."  He looked at Ethan again.  "Should I try to find them?  They're probably still buried in the trunks."

Ethan rolled his eyes.  "I swear, they make drugs for people who collect too much stuff, Xander.  Would you mind terribly going on them?"

"Hey, I only collect a few things," Xander defended.  "My anime and comics.  My kimonos.  My prettier heists.  And a few weapons now and then."

Ethan shook his head with a groan.  "You collect some of your heists?"

"Nothing identifiable," he said defensively.  "I'm not dumb, Ethan, no matter what the judgement on my intelligence back in Sunnydale was."

"Stop, now," the human Rupert said calmly.  "Before I have to join in.  I'm sure Xander knows better than we do what can and can't be identified by the police."

"Most gems aren't individually identifiable," Xander told them.  "The ones that are I don't tend to deal with.  I leave those to Lupin.  I like the smaller, less unique, but very pretty things."

"So then our Majesty's crown, which she was wearing to that ball, wasn't your usual thing?" the vampire Ripper asked.

"No," Xander said with a smirk.  "That was pure fun."

"And aren't we all glad I never got that good?" Dawn asked the room in general.

"Hell yes," Rupert said grimly. "Our Majesty would never be safe."

"Hey, I like the old hat-wearing lady," Xander defended.  "I think she's pretty neat.  She's done some pretty decent diplomat things in her time.  I'm sure her grandsons will do every bit as good, but I have a doubt that her son will ever do more than lounge about and fuck women."

"Uncle," Lotus warned.

"Sorry, dear."

"Thank you.  I do not need to know about his sex life.  Besides, I thought he still had a mistress."

"He used to have more than that," Ripper said dryly, sipping his mug of blood.  "Are we nearly ready to try a call out for them?"

"I still can't see a call working," Ethan offered.  "They're from more highly charged worlds."

"Iggy's from a chaos-heavy world, Uncle Ethan," Lotus said calmly.  "He should get it if no one else does."

"That might help the most," Ethan agreed.  "But he's still a young man, Lotus.  I'm sure he's quite busy and not the expert he claims."

Dawn looked at him.  "Iggy is a master of using a device that switches time back and forth for a up to a few days.  He's had to fix a number of small paradoxes."  She went back to her reading.  "Okay, I've got the spell down.  If I'm reading this right, it should hook into whatever form of communication device they use over there magically, whether it's a portal or not I'm not sure."  She looked up.  "How are we doing, Xan?"  He shoved his list over. "Just those two temporal things?"  He nodded.  "Okay, and the other things are pretty cool.  Anything that's his family's alone?"  He shook his head.  "Not even the sword?"

"They made it for me and I was holding it for his last kid," Xander told her.

"Okay.  We can deal with that in a bit," she decided.  "For right now, let's stabilize the first event.  These were later if I remember right."  He nodded.  "Which was caused by which?"

"The first was Fujiko and a wish demon.  The second was a jealous teacher who hated humans having any gifts and a first magic ceremony," Xander said, looking at the kitsune lord.  "Your little darling actually."

"Wonderfully," he said dryly.  "I'll have to remember that.  First or second?"

"Second child."

"Ah, the son," he said, nodding.  "I made the castle shine that way, I'm sure it was just as wonderful as my own messup."  He looked at the teacher, then at Xander.  "Didn't I have him teach him?"

"Nope, sorry.  I don't know why, but I don't remember him being there.  It was that guy who always reminded me of the fiddler in the fairytale."

The Kitsune lord nodded, then shook his head quickly.  "I'm not going to let him teach my son at all.  Even him having no training and destroying us all is better than that.  That man is a quack," he told Lotus.

"Was he the one my tree ate?"

The Lord smiled and nodded.  "Exactly.  You do remember quite well, dear."  He gave her a pat on the head.  "If we do have to merge the realms for a moment, we might have some problems with your friends, can you control them?"  Everyone stared at him, mouths open.  "What?"

"Control Lupin the Fourth?" Ethan asked.

"Or my daughter Melissa?" Xander added.

"Oh, damn, I forgot we weren't dealing with normal children like Ishi."  He shuddered.  "Well, we'll just have to get on with it, I suppose," he offered.  "Dawn, let's work on the calling.  I think I have the most experience with trans-realmal magic, yes?"  His teacher coughed.  "No, you're here to monitor and help.  I'll do the actual spell so you can't be sucked into their world."  The phoenix flew through the opening door then it slammed behind him.

"That's not ours," Lotus said, pointing.  "She's the wrong color and sex."  The bird nuzzled her and then hopped down to Xander, giving him a message.

"Oh, cool, the barrier's thin.  The Xander with the artifacts and books said that they had a breach into his world.  Come on, Glinda, let's go talk to him.  Dawn, the event horizon is at the spot of the most magic I've done."

"The main hideout?" Ethan asked.

"No, the backyard of Ethan's house," Xander said grimly.  Marcus snickered. "What?"

"I had wondered why Lupin didn't want you practicing magic in the house but I suppose Ethan told him some things."

"Not if Ethan ever wants to be laid again," Xander said smartly, smirking at him.  Then he turned it on Ethan, who blanched.  "Yes?"

"Very true," he agreed.  "I'd never tell Lupin about any of that, Xander.  I like my dick in the shape it's in.  I remember quite well the alligator incident."

"Alligator?" Dawn asked, looking up at him.  "Huh?"

"Just don't ask," he mumbled, heading out to the kitchen.  "I believe we should go back to my house, people.  Let's move and deal with this now, before the worlds fully merge.  Or before I'm transformed into something horrible this time."

"You turned him into an alligator, Uncle Xander?" Lotus asked.

"Only parts of him," Xander said dryly, heading after him.  He popped back to the house for a moment.  "Guys, you absolutely have to keep the kids here," he told Jigen since he was staring outside.  "I mean it.  No kids anywhere else.  Lotus forgot to calculate for a few of the traveling incidents and there's going to be some major crap heading our way if we can't fix it."

"Too late," Jigen sighed, looking at him.  He held up his hands.  "Lupin's tied up so hard he can't get free.  Can you please remove these ancient handcuffs, which I believe you brought into the house?"

"Only to handcuff werewolves and things," he said, picking the lock.  "Where are they?"

"Headed out.  Sierra rented them a car and they snuck out without us.  I called Goemon and he's trying to chase after them."  He shrugged, working his wrists.  "Where are you heading?"

"Ethan's.  Marcus and Lotus are with me.  Ask the other thieves, it might save us all."  He waved and disappeared, landing already shaking his head.  "The girls knocked them out and tied them up," he announced.  "They took off from the house in the last hour."

Ethan shuddered.  "The world will never survive your children, Xander.  Couldn't you give the world an odd child?"

"I did!  I gave them Alex and Savannah!"

"Enough," Dawn yelled.  "Xander, a cop and a baby Xander isn't enough.  Have another one, okay?  Three good guys should even out what Melissa is going to do to the world."  She looked at the portal.  "It's not fully formed.  We can't get across it."

"We can call across it," Lotus decided.  "Iggy?"

***

On the other side of the portal, the two worlds were meshed, somewhat, and one boy raised his head.  "What the hell?" he muttered.  Denver walked over to the fireplace, looking at the little girl.  "Hello, who are you?"

"I'm Lotus Goemon, a niece of our Xander's, and I know what's going on.  I need to talk to Iggy."

"Ah."  Denver nodded, smirking at her.  "Well, you'll have to talk to a few others as well I think.  Simone!"  Her head peeked in from the hallway.  "Would you please get the three grouches in here?  There's someone named Lotus Goemon who claims she knows what's going on and she's not from here.  The floo fire is purple for some reason."

His father stormed in and moved him.  "You are?"

"Lotus Goemon.  I'm the Uncle Xander here's niece.  I had to pull a time switch to save our world and it managed to send us sideways sorta.  I'm pretty sure that's causing this imbalance.  It was a blind panic moment, sir.  We were all going to die.  Our timeline did."  He gaped at her.  "So we need to talk to Iggy really bad.  He said he's really good at paradoxes and we've got about three coming at us now."

"Three?"

"Yeah, Uncle Xander had a few times back in Imperial Japan with my ancestors.  They really liked him though."

"I'm sure," he said bitterly, glaring at the two Xanders sitting in the corner sulking and chatting about things.  They hadn't been allowed to help at all.  "Fine.  Stand back.  Can we get through?"

"I have no idea.  On this side the barrier's a bit thick.  Hold on, let me put on Dawn.  She's great at portals."

Dawn's head appeared in the fire.  "Hey, I know you," she said, looking him over.  "Or at least a younger version of you."

"Yes, that would have been the one from here," he said with a an eyeroll.  "Can we come across?"

"It'll leave it open."

"We'll have to do it anyway," he pointed out.  "You have at least one of our phoenixes."

"Yeah, one came over during the original event and the other just came here.  Glinda?"  She cheeped.  "Her.  She's presently chewing on Ethan's hair.  Stand back."  She raised a bleeding hand and the portal opened in the fire.  "There, that's about as good as I can do."

"We can change the floo spell to take us there," the younger Xander present offered.  He got up to grab a book and flipped to the section, handing it over.  "Hey," he said with a grin.  "I remember you."

"Cool.  How's things?"

"Not too bad.  Business is good.  Ron's throwing fits at the you here because he thinks you're a flirt.  He's got that possessive streak going again for some reason."  He shrugged.  "Who knows."  He took the book back and cast it carefully, then grabbed the jar of floo powder.  "Snapes, Methos, Iggy, now."  They all came running.  "We've found the cause.  We're heading over for a conference."

"Sure," Iggy agreed, grabbing his book case off the table and heading across.  "Address?"

"Dawn."

"To Dawn's," he ordered.  He closed his eyes as he was sucked in and sideways, landing on a lawn. "I haven't done that in years," he said with a grin.  He grabbed Lotus and hugged her, taking her out of the way.  "Watch out for my master, he's a bit grumpy," he whispered.

"It was this or we died," she told him.  "He can be a grouch.  My daddy can outdo him with two teething infants around."  She wiggled down, looking at the others.  "I'm really sorry.  I acted to save myself and a few others so the worlds would go on at all."  Snape glared at her and she glared back, stomping her foot.  "Keep it up, mister, I'm not the nicest of people at the moment.  This is *way* past my bedtime."  He broke, shaking his head with a glare at Iggy.

"Hey, I only told you that twice," Iggy defended.  "All right, what's going on?"

"I have a library inside," Ethan offered.  "Chairs, coffee, tea, and noise if we need it."

"That's fine," the older Snape said, following him inside.  "No Spike?"

"No, I finally got rid of him and kept the two Ruperts," he said, nodding at them.  "Only one's a vampire."  He rolled his eyes, putting on more water for tea.  "We don't have servants."

"Uncle Draco, get a house elf," Iggy called out the door.   "We'll be too busy to make tea."  He led Lotus into the library, sitting across from her.  "Now, tell me everything."

"Shouldn't we wait?"

"We should, but I can tell it in shorter time using the theory."

"Oh.  Okay."  She coughed and shifted some.  "Our timeline was going to end.  They were killing us and had just gotten one of the placeholders."  He nodded for her to go on.  "That's Uncle Xander's baby Alex.  I felt it starting to snap and called out to the kitsune for help.  They moved us up there but I managed to send most of us back here while we were trying to stabilize everything.  I got us all back here but the babies and my brother Ishi, they came later.  Since it was an emergency, or else everyone was going to die, we only counted on the normal fluxes of magic, forgetting totally about the temporal travel Uncle Xander had done and his time with you guys at that bar."

"Ah."  He nodded, looking at Draco and the two Snapes as they walked in.  "A desperation move to save everyone she could before their world ended."

"How?  She's not more than ten," the younger Snape said bitterly.

"I'm barely ten, I was nine when I did it, and I'm a nature witch.  I made a really powerful plea at the time and the kitsune helped."

"The Kitsune?" the older Snape asked.  "They exist?"

"There's two somewhere around here," she said, waving a hand.  "Their Lord and their top magic teacher.  I'm taking lessons from him."

"Man, we'd kill to have you in Hogwarts," Iggy said with a grin for his teachers.

"The last thing I did was get really mad and make a carnivorous tree to eat a few of them who thought humans were puny," she informed him.  "I usually deal with nature spirits but sometimes things happen around me."  She shrugged.  "I did the best I could, but we were kinda desperate.  Janus agreed."

"You're a nature witch who prays to Janus?" the older Snape asked.  "Why am I having flashbacks?" he groaned.

"No, he protects Uncle Xander," she said smartly.  "Since he had died, he wanted it fixed.  He likes him a lot.  That's why he gave him a choker that changes sex and he got to have kids."

Iggy blinked a few times.  "Okay, that's a magical artifact I want to see in our world," he decided.  "If only so I can do it to Simone some day."

His Snape choked and whimpered, shaking his head.

"We shall not turn my daughter into a son, Iggy.  Imagine how horrible that would be," Draco said as he walked in.  "Well?"

"Desperation move to save themselves and their world, they came back in time to change their timeline.  She made a plea to Janus to help them since he adores the Daddy Xander here with the help of the kitsune."

"Oh, dear," he said, eyes wide.  "Janus likes Xander?"  Lotus nodded.  He hit himself on the head.  "That explains ever so fucking much," he announced, giving his Snape a dirty look.  "Didn't feel that around him when you were searching Rosenburg for magic taint?"

"No," he admitted.  "He's a powerful chaos person from his heritage.  Why would it matter?"

"Janus gave him a choker that allowed him to become female and have children," Iggy told them with a bright grin.

"Himself?" Draco asked her.  She nodded, grinning as she pulled out her pictures to show them.  "Damn, and I thought he was fertile at home," he said dryly, showing off the picture.

"Ishi and I and the two mini-Lupins aren't his, but the rest he gave birth to."

"We have a spell for that," Iggy told her.  "Uncle Draco did it twice."

"Cool!" she breathed.  "Did it change his sex too?"  He shook his head.  "Wicked cool!"  She hopped up and went to find her Uncle Ethan.  "They have a spell to do what Uncle Xander did with the kids without changing your outer sex."

He blinked a few times.  "Interesting.  I know some people I'd like to curse with that."  He glared at Xander's back.  Then at Rupert's since he was chastising him again.  "Leave him alone, Ripper!" he snapped.  "He's not at fault!  We need him to figure this out and you browbeating him will not help!"

"Fine," he agreed, backing off.  "Sorry, Xander, Ethan.  Shall I go pull books?"

"Please," Ethan growled.  Rupert had the sense to scurry out of the way.  He looked up.  "Some patience, Janus?  I'll need it if you really want him trained instead of as a sacrifice some day," he muttered.

Xander gave him a hug.  "He'd be a sucky one," he whispered in his ear.  "He's not pure enough for Janus to get off on him."  Ethan gave him a hug.  "You okay?"

"Well enough, Xander.  I'll live through this one and take a long vacation for a bit.  I'll let Marcus play here and housesit."  They shared a look and grinned.  "Come, let's go fix this before something else happens.  Knowing our luck, something's going to happen because of this."  He walked the house elf into the library.  "We'll be in here or the workroom.  Do not touch anything in there without permission," he instructed, sitting next to Lotus.  "Have we figured out anything?"

"Your version of Janus here is more interfering than ours," Iggy said with a smirk for him.

"Shit!" someone outside yelled. "Vampires!"

"Leave him alone," a few voices called.

"Which one?"

Xander sighed and got up, going outside to fix this situation.  "What the hell are you doing here!  Do you not know that Ethan is the most powerful sorcerer on this fucking plane and he can turn you into spell components without killing you!" he snapped.  "Or do you really want me to do it?"  He stepped into a patch of light and the vampires gave him a scared look, then ran off.  "Thank you.  Stupid bastards.  Should have gone to school before you got turned!"

"I did, I got my Master's," one called back.  "I'm an English person.  I came to see if Ripper needed help!"

"Ripper, you have future minions wanting you as an employer," he called, heading back inside.  He came back out, looking at the him with the cane.  "I like that outfit," he sighed sadly.  "I can't get there here, can I?"

"If you could find someone to make you a pattern, I guess," he offered.  "It's a cotton-silk blend.  Very comfy."  He let him feel it.  "We were in the middle of a school day."

"I was in the middle of a nap before I went outside and worked out again," Xander said with a grin.  "How are you doing, Xander?"

"Fine, Lavelle, you?"

"Peachy.  It was my niece and goddaugther that did this.  See, their timeline was about to break apart at the seams so she sent an emergency prayer to the kitsune and Janus, so he sent some of us back to do some things over so the world doesn't end."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Then I'm sure Iggy has a clue already.  Him and the Snapes.  Oh, this is Greg.  He's a CSI, whatever that is."  He waved a hand at him.

"He's a scene tech for the cops," Xander said with a nod.  "Lavelle, second gunman to Lupin the Third.  Watch out for a mini-Lupin, she and my daughter are loose and probably headed here to get into trouble.  If they've got one of my other ones, she wants to be just like you.  Keeps talking to someone in Miami named Cali?"

"I know her in our world," he agreed, shaking his hand.  "Is there a me here?"

"Where do you work?"

"Las Vegas."

"Oh, yeah," he agreed, nodding with a grin.  "Yuppers.  Ran into him for a DNA sample.  He was not a happy camper since I took some heavy radiation."  He lifted a strand of silver hair.  "Demonic.  Against my will."

"Wow."  He felt it.  "It's soft.  You do very well with it.  Can I take a sample?  I know you're not in our world."

"Sure.  Hair or mouth?"

"Either's fine.  I've been meaning to do a research project."

"Cool."

"Boys!" the younger Snape snapped. "Quit, now."  He glared at the two Xanders.  "At least the you in my world is a bit better dressed."

"I got out of bed.  Feel lucky I put on clothes since I was having sex with my two men before this," he said smartly.  "And that they're too tired from trying to wear my big ass out."

Snape gave him a horrified look.  "Two?  It takes two of them to wear you out?"

"No, usually they're worn out long before I am," he said honestly, then he grinned.  "Wanna try me?"

"No!"  He backed into the house and ran away.

"I love doing that to stuffy people," he said happily.  "That's my mischief for the day.  Now I'm going to go plot a takeover of the world."  He headed back inside, going to find a camera.  "Hey, Xander, can I take a picture of your outfit?"

"Sure."  He stepped into some light, letting him take a few from each angle.  "Good luck finding a good tailor."

"I've got a few," he admitted. "It looks much more comfortable than a suit and a tie though.  I'm kinda hoping Lupin won't mind."  He headed up to Ethan's bedroom to put on some clothes from Ethan's closet.  He passed over the tweed, the jeans, and the suits, finding his pair of jogging shorts and a t-shirt.

"What are you doing?" Rupert asked from the doorway.

"You don't borrow clothes from your lovers?"

Rupert blushed, then went pale.  "Never mind.  Please, borrow some boxers too, just have them cleaned however."  He ran away.

Xander grinned and did that, finding a pair of bikinis he had left there a few years back.  "Good enough."  He pulled on everything and headed back down the stairs, going to find out if he could help yet.  "My part coming soon?"

"No," Ethan called.  "Go get some food if you wouldn't mind.  Legally of course."

"Sure.  Wallet?"  One sailed out to hit him.  "Thanks, Ripper.  Oh, hey, Zenigata's.  I'm sure he won't mind much."  He ran out to Dawn's "Xander!" shriek, taking Ripper's motorcycle on his snack run.  "Just like old times," he said dryly.

***

Back in the realm where Xander is still young, pretty, powerful, and sleeping with Draco, Draco was looking up references for the people working across the fireplace.  "Potter, move your fat ass," he snapped when Harry got in his way again. "Some of us are trying to help.  Either do the same or go fly."

"I'm helping," he defended. "I was told by that older, silver-haired Xander to find out what things a thief was likely to go for because he knew one was going to cross over soon."  He shifted his chair out of the way.  "You could ask politely."

"I could also turn you into a fucking toad," he sneered.

"Feeling's mutual," Harry snorted, going back to his scanning the index of the Ministry's vaults.  "There's not much here.  Not many jewels, not many paintings, nothing that thieves usually like from what I understand."  Another person walked through and handed over another book so he shrugged and switched out.  "Oh, theirs.  Yes, they've got many things, including some artifacts.  I didn't know Merlin had a second staff."

"What?" Draco asked, turning to look at him.  "Since when?"  He snatched the book to look it over.  "Well, bloody hell.  That goes in the face of history."  He turned the page, scowling at the book now.  "That really doesn't go with the historical accounts at all!  How could they have been that careless!"

"I'm sure they authenticated," Harry said, taking the book back.  "Go back to your research and I'll do mine."

"Fine," he said, glaring at him again.  "Prick."

"Yes, and a good one, thank you," he said smugly.

"I'm telling your current girlfriend you said that," Draco sneered.

"Go right ahead, she's the one who said it first."  He smirked at his coworker.  "Just ask her."  He went back to making his list, separating out by worlds.  That other one had a ton of things and apparently the Bill Weasley there wasn't working as hard as theirs was.

Draco muttered under his breath as he looked through another book's index.  "I should curse you to be a prick forever," he muttered, glaring at him again.

"Doing harmful magic against Harry would probably make Alex quite upset, Draco," Aunt Cordy's voice floated down the stairs.  "Remember that before you turn him into a giant penis."

"Yes, ma'am," he called back.  "I'll just have to find something better."  Harry gave him an odd look and moved out of his way.  "Finally."

***

Little Arsene Lupin the Fourth looked at her partners in crime, then at the one they had just stolen from his father's grasp.  "Are we up for this?  We know that there's stuff there but we can't be sure what."

"How are we going to get it back?" Melissa asked.  "I don't think they've got those bags of holding like in the D&D novels, Arsene.  We can't hope to carry back even a tenth of what's there."

"Yes, but think of the reputation we'll get," she said with a bright smirk, just like her father.  "If we can do this, then no one else ever will be able to again.  We'll have done the impossible!"

"Sounds interesting," Ishi agreed.  "Though I do agree with Melissa to some degree. That's a lot of work for not a lot of profit and a reputation that won't be carried back here."

Arsene sighed.  "I doubt they're going to fix it right off.  Right?"  Everyone nodded.  "Then we'll go scout our three targets.  Going to the farthest one would make more sense because even Daddy won't think to look for us to go that far from home."

"We could get trapped."

"Nope.  I've been reading over Lotus' shoulder with her earring camera and I asked the young Kitsune who came down to check on baby Alex.  If we get caught across there and they close it, we'll go back to that bar place and can be sent back home from there.  That makes it risk free.  And hey, even if we're stuck over there for a few months, they've got dragons, gryphons, and Hogwarts."  She shrugged.  "A win-win situation."

"True," Melissa agreed, considering it.  "I still don't want to leave all that there.  We should be able to steal more of it if we're going to do that."

"Well, if we could find something like a bottomless trunk it might help," Ishi offered.  "I don't think there's any here."

"No, me either," Melissa offered.

Arsene smirked at them.  "I am not Lupin the Fourth for nothing.  Ethan has a small bag of holding.  It'll only hold about fifteen pounds of crap, but it'll do, right?"

"Fifteen pounds of gems or gold would certainly be wonderful," Melissa agreed.  "Especially if we could get gold or diamonds.  They're worth the most."

Ishi considered it while the girls stared at him.  "It is worth the risk.  They can't really throw us in Azkaban, even if the books were right and it exists," he decided.  "I still think we need backup."

"Ehh, Lotus is there, she'll cover for us," Melissa said, waving a hand.  "Everyone there will be busy with the magic stuff.  It'll be fine, Ishi."

"Yeah, and even if the mother catches us, she'll just follow again," Arsene offered.  "That way she can praise us and see what else we need to work on."

Melissa lifted her copy of book one of Harry Potter again.  "I'm sure we'll figure it out by the time we get there.  Does your father know this is actually your car and driver, Lupin?"

"Well, no, Jigen," she admitted. "Does Mommy or daddy know that you've got that diamond scepter again?"  She smirked and shook her head.  "Didn't think so.  Anyway, I've paid for him for the year."  She put down the dividing window.  "How long before we get to the train station?"

"Another ten minutes, ma'am," the driver said calmly.  "Then an hour on the train, ma'am."  He turned off the tape recorder and went on, knowing what the girls were planning.  They'd catch them this time.  No matter what they were talking about, they'd catch them.  He wasn't Zenigata's apprentice for nothing!

***

Lupin the Third, version two from Iggy's world, paced up and down the hotel room, fuming.  "It's not right.  They had no right to judge us that way.  I didn't really want the demon in the jar, just the jar!  They insulted our acumen."

"I know you're fuming now, you'll pulling out the thesaurus," Jigen joked.  "Even though their mind ray whatever didn't work, we can't go back for that jar.  Is there another target around here?"

Lupin smirked at him.  "Oh, you bet," he said meanly.  "There's two actually.  There's a bank that holds more gold than all the world's have left in their vaults and there's a ministry that has a wonderful storage house of antiques they consider special.  I think the only fair way of getting back at them for trying to take our memories is to show them that they're not worth playing with, that they're only targets!"

Jigen nodded, smoking thoughtfully.  "Could be fun.  What if they try to whammy us again?  You know Goemon was stuck for nearly a day."

"I know."  He started to pace again.  "I'm working on it.  I'll have it by tomorrow, when they're having a huge ball."

"Sure, boss, whatever you want.  As long as we don't end up toads or anything," Jigen agreed.  "That blond guy was almost in our class of cruel and mean."

"Ehh.  He's a child playing dressup compared to some of the Dons we've taken down," Lupin said smugly.  "He has no idea what we can do.  He, his made-up names, and his superiority complex will soon learn not to mess with Lupin the Third."

Jigen decided that wisdom was the better part of intelligence and that it wasn't a gunman's job to worry about such things until he started to moo, croak, or like odd things in a sexual way.  Then he would worry; until then Lupin probably had it.  "Bank or storehouse first?"

"I'd like to case them both," Lupin admitted.  "That means we'll have to find a back way into their alley place. There's got to be more than one gateway."

"Who do we ask?"

"A kid," Lupin said, turning to look at him.  "There's got to be access for them since the one that was chatting while we were suspended from the wall said something about school supplies."

"Okay.  Got any idea how to find one?"

"Yeah, I do," Lupin said with a smirk.   He turned to look at Jigen.   "We've seen one of those redheaded brats with an adult, right?"

"Or four.  Why?"

"Because we follow them.  They weren't heading into that tavern and wherever they came out of had some stores since they were carrying bags."  Jigen tipped his hat up to look at him.  "They won't be looking for us to follow them.  They're too arrogant about their powers."

"Okay.  Whatever you want, Lupin.  Call Goemon yet?"

"No, not yet.  I'll do that later, when I have a plan.  He's only in the country."  He went to his room to lie down for a few minutes.  Maybe thinking smutty thoughts would work best this time.  His mental Fujiko was always helpful for plans.  "Mechanicals are probably out," he muttered.  "Even though we heard a game show, we didn't see electric lights.  If you use candles and torches to light your house, you probably are afraid of machines and guard against them.  I wonder if they have a way to become invisible.  It'd sure help to get Pops off our backs now and then."  He stroked himself gently, smirking at his mental girlfriend and her enticing ways.  "Yeah, Fujicakes, give it to me this time," he groaned, going faster.  "That's it.  Oh, yeah, light misdirectors might work, yeah. Mmm."

***

The first version of Arsene Lupin the Third looked up from chatting on the thieves' bulletin board, then grunted in displeasure.  "No one's seen the kids but they're all on alert for them.  I gave them the toss-away's phone number in case they see them getting into trouble."  He leaned back, frowning at Jigen.  "Where did our heathens go?"

"I don't know," Jigen admitted, putting something down on the desk.  "But you need to have a talk with your little girl."

Lupin looked at the two-headed statue, then snorted.  "Wonderful.  Well, he once said he liked me, I'm sure he adores her since he adores Xander and he raised her."  Both heads on the statue nodded.  "Which way were they headed this time?"

"Ethan's."

"The portal?" Jigen asked, flinching when they nodded again.  "Damn it, that's dangerous!"

"Xander's there," the smiling face cooed.  "My precious one will watch out for them."

"Been watching Golum again?" Lupin asked dryly.  The smiling face glared and he grinned, wiling his fingers.  "Hey, you sounded like him, not my fault.  Where are they headed?  And which kids?"

"Just yours and Melissa.  They're quite amusing you know.   They have such life and no one ever stops to think what a child would do if they wanted to steal something, like say a bank."  He smirked and went mute, and the other side did too after rolling his eyes.

Jigen and Lupin both reached for the phone at the same time, Lupin winning when he smacked Jigen's hands.  "My phone."  He called Ethan's house.

***

Marcus looked as a house elf tugged on his arm. "Yes?" he asked patiently.  It handed over the shrill noise-making device.  "Thank you."  He answered it. "Ethan's house of muck.  Head stable boy."  He smiled.  "Because he keeps messing up things.  There are days when we should all have pitchforks around here, Lupin.  Did something happen to the children?"  He groaned and held his head.  "We'll be on the lookout for them.  Thank you.  They're what?"  He glared at Ethan. "Let me when I get back, Lupin.  Of course.  I'll drag Ethan back if I have to.  I'll try to stop them."  He hung up and threw the phone at Ethan's head.  "You gave the girls the ability to talk to Janus?"

Ethan smirked at him.  "No."  He went back to reading the books the silver-haired boy had brought.  He needed to be scanning these into his computer.  Their version of chaos was much more powerful and widely used it seemed.  "He went to them of his own free will, as they devoted themselves to him."

Marcus got up and went to find Xander, not finding him in the library.  He checked upstairs but there wasn't anyone there either except the vampire Ripper hiding from the sun to take his daily nap.  He headed back down to the kitchen.  "Xander!"  Two of them looked at him and he waved them off.  "Lavelle!"  No answer.  "The kids are coming!"

"I figured as much," drifted in from outside.  He stuck his head inside.  "And?"

"Melissa and Arsene are worshiping Janus as well.  Jigen found the statue in Melissa's room."

"Well, gee, he loves me a whole bunch, it kinda figures," Xander said dryly.  He headed into Ethan's prayer room, tapping his statue on the head.  "Don't give the girls ideas, they've got enough already.  They're still only eight."  He headed back outside, going back to his exercises.  It would wear off some nervous energy and let him watch for the kids.

Marcus rolled his eyes and went to pounce him, putting him onto his back.  "You smug git!  I doubt Janus will listen to you, Xander."

"Ha!  Janus wants me to have more kids.  He'll listen 'cause I'm not putting on the choker again."  He threw Marcus off and attacked him this time, smirking evilly the whole time.

"If you two want to have sexual relations on the lawn, take it to the other side of the house!" Iggy shouted.

"We're not," Marcus said, glaring at him.  "That is a rather disgusting thought, young man.  This Xander is a coworker and it's my sworn duty to attack him often so he doesn't forget his training."

Xander nodded, putting Marcus onto his back and standing on his shoulder.  "True. His teacher would be very proud of him for not burying his nose in a book since there's so many good researchers available."

Marcus got himself free and pounced Xander again.  "You're a prat, Xander.  I'm an excellent researcher."

"Then why are you pouncing me?"

He sighed and got up, heading inside to go back to work.  "See what I put up with?" he muttered as he walked past the boy.

"I think Severus feels the same way about Daddy," he soothed, patting him on the back.  He grabbed his snacks and went back to his reading spot, moving Simone's head from it so she could nap against his leg again.  "Why don't you go outside and pounce the Xander from here.  He's very good at self-defense.  Maybe he could help you learn something new," he suggested when she woke up.

"Maybe," she said through a yawn, heading outside.  "Xander?"  He grinned at her. "Can you work on my hand-to-hand?"  He nodded, waving her on.  "Uncle Xander was teaching me some, but I still rely too much on my speed."

"Ah, but speed is a good thing, if you're using it as subterfuge," he offered, rushing her, but then changing directions at the last second to put her onto her back.  "See?"  He grinned down at her.  "Think you can do that?"

"I can bloody well try," she agreed as he hauled her up.  "Show me more."

"Sure, kiddo.  Not an issue.  I'm working on training my own hellions."  He beamed and rushed her again and this time she was more ready to counter but he still got her.  "Don't worry, I'm working with a master."

"Pooh.  I work with Uncle Xander while he's training a future slayer."

"I've got one of those.  She's probably taking the day off to do her nails."  He grinned and did a perfect heel sweep, putting her back down.  "Always be on your guard. Guys like to put girls onto their backs and smirk at them."

"Yes, but usually I allow it," she said smartly, putting him onto the ground.

***

Ishi watched as Arsene snuck through the house and came out a few minutes later.  Then they all snuck across the barrier, coming out in a library.  He followed Arsene's little stone that tracked magic, something Lotus had made her to help them find her when she was lost again, and ran for the portal.  He paused to look at the unicorn, then grinned and waved before heading on.  He couldn't touch it so he wouldn't try.  It would be a futile chase.

In the house above them, a house elf went to find a reasonable adult, finding the younger Draco reading again.  "Master Draco, sir," it said fearfully.  "Three children just snuck through and out through the portal."

"Probably some of that limping Xander's children."

"One was like Master Nichi, the old teacher who teaches House Elves."

Draco looked up.  "There's a teacher for house elves?"  He nodded, his ears flapping.  "Interesting.  Describe them?"

"Two girls.  One boy, older.  Girls were dark haired, white, but not pale.  Tanned and fit.  Boy had a sword."

"Very interesting.  Thank you, Bower.  I'll check on them myself."  He got up and headed out to the portal, noticing the protections had been tripped.  "Dawn!" he bellowed.  She came out of the workhouse, joining him.  "We just had intruders running from the other realm through ours to here."

"Could they be that other Xander's kids?"

"I doubt it.  One was apparently not our race."

"Oh."  She looked at it then shrugged.  "Let me get one of the twins.  They're hiding with the baby twins."  She went back into the workhouse, waking whichever twin it was.  "Hey.  We just had kids sneak across."

The twin looked at her, yawning. "Kids?"

"Kids.  Draco said one was a different race."

"Elf, dwarf, or goblin?"

Draco walked in.  "Japanese."

Fred frowned at him.  "Huh?"  Draco nodded.  "I don't know anyone who's really that ethnicity," he admitted.  "Tip Top?  Are you up, love?" he called.  She came down the stairs.  "Draco said they saw kids sneaking across and one was Japanese."

"Japanese?  Here?  There's only three kids at Hogwarts that have any Asian heritage.  Are you sure?"

"The house elf who saw him said so.  He said he was like their teacher, Master Nichi. I have no idea who he was, but he said he was Japanese."

"Well."  She grimaced.  "We should probably send a warning through.  Any of those handy golden chickens around?"

"The phoenixes you mean?" Dawn asked dryly.

"They are?  I always expected them to be bigger and more fluffy."  She shrugged. "I guess.  Send one with a message."

"Sure, if they'll do that," Draco said shortly, rolling his eyes.  He looked out the door and up at the roof of the house.  "One of you plonkers want to take a message back?  Someone just snuck through."  One of them squawked at him and laid a dropping.  "Never mind.  Dawn?"

"Birds hate me.  Look at my owl, Draco."

"Good point," he admitted.  "Weasley?  Or lady Weasley?"

She rolled her eyes and walked out onto the front step.  "One of you go tell them some kids snuck through, before we treat you like the golden chicken you look like."  That got another angry squawk and one of them trying to divebomb her.  "Help!"  She ran back inside and up to a room, shutting herself in.

Fred stood up with a sigh, looking outside.  "Please?  We don't know who they are, but they could get very hurt you know.  Especially if they're like that Lotus girl.  Totally untrained and very powerful."  That got a coo and one of the younger ones went through to see if they were worthy of further scrutiny.  "I guess they'll do that."  He went back to his nap.  "Hopefully George doesn't need me today.  I'm damn tired of teething."

"Don't worry, you can have more," Dawn reminded him.  He tried to get up and pounce her but she shoved Draco in his way and ran off.

"Get off!" Draco said, pushing him away.  "I may like boys, but not your sort.  Nasty, dirty, heathen!"  He stomped off, going to talk to the real head of the household, Aunt Cordy.  "There were children who snuck through," he said in greeting.

"I saw.  They're not ours and they didn't really look like that other Alex's so I'm supposing they're not.  Not a red hair in sight.  I sent a message plane through just in case."

"Hopefully someone's watching over on that side.  Hogwarts is out for the summer."  She sighed and nodded.  "If not, I'm sure Hagrid will find it eventually."  He went back to his research.  It was very interesting what that other realm had found. If he was less ethical he might be tempted to steal some of it. Fortunately his lover had broken his tendencies to maim, crush, and destroy things and people.  Most of the time anyway.  Sex didn't cure all of it by any means, just blunted it.

***

Ishi had to pull his sisters away from the paddocks before they petted every single animal in there, heading them toward the woods.  He knew a lot about woods and he had read the books so he knew that there were special paths through these if they could find them.  They found one that had to come from the groundskeeper, it was too big for anything but him or an elephant, and took it to the town, lurking on the edges of it.  "Now what?" he hissed.

"Now, we look like every other grubby kid down there," Melissa said, picking up some dirt to make it look like they had been playing in the fields.  She pointed at the town.  "That's supposed to be in Diagon by the books," she hissed.

Arsene's eyes lit up.  "Do you think we can go in there to look?"

"Sure," Ishi sighed.  It was no use trying to stop her, Arsene was a diehard fan of pranks and games.  "Come on."  He dirtied himself too, then headed after them, hiding his sword as best he could.  The charm Lotus had made them a few days ago so he could sneak out and use it at night was very handy.  He kept Arsene from shoplifting by a hard pinch to her back when she reached for something.  "No."

"Fine," she said, frowning at him.  "Meany."

"Mommy said you could only look," Melissa told him. "Then we had to head home and give her a list of what we wanted."  She smiled at the man behind the counter, who was *exactly* how she pictured him.  "Mr. Wood, sir, can we use your floo?  Mum's kinda sick and she wants us home as soon as we've figured out what we want.  We were playing and she'll be *really* mad if we dally."

"Sure," he agreed with a grin, winking at Arsene.  "Take one of the blue things to try.  We've changed the formula."

"Thank you, Mr. Wood, sir," she said happily, taking it to try.  She and Melissa took Ishi to the fireplace, he was a bit wary of this part, and they flooed together.  "Diagon Alley," she called after tossing the powder in and stepping into the fire.  She squeaked as they zipped off, clutching her new treat in her hand.   They came out in a small inn, grinning at the innkeeper.  "Our mommy is waiting on us to go get clothes," she told him, skipping out back behind him.  He opened the portal for them, smiling as they went through.  Sometimes looking innocent was all it took to fool adults.  They cleaned up at a small fountain and Arsene tucked her candy into her pocket, then they went to browse around and see what could be seen.

Ishi managed to pickpocket a few people so they wouldn't look odd and they could have some ice cream while they planned, then they went to find some more local clothes.  They weren't that expensive and there was a pre-school sale going on from the signs.  Arsene had to get a school robe, and one in Slytherin, but she could only get one in the standard Hogwarts pattern until she was sorted according to the fitter.  So she settled for it, but they went out to scout some more locales.  They found the back way into the Ministry by following some guy with red hair that reminded them a lot of Percy, and down to the storehouse from there.

"Wow," Melissa whispered, looking around.  It looked like a big museum.  They were used to working in museums.  They could do this.  She looked at Arsene, who had fixated on something really pretty.  "What's that?" she asked, skipping over to read the card with her.  "What's a fixiter gem?"

"What are you children doing down here?" a loud female voice called.

Ishi looked at her and looked heartbroken.  "Mum said this was the museum where all those really neat cursebreakers found stuff," he said.  "She said to come look while she's at home with the new baby."

"Oh."  She grimaced. "That's two floors up, children, this is a restricted area of the Ministry.  Come, I'll show you."

"What does that one do?" Melissa asked, pointing at the gem they had been looking at.

"It's very dangerous, but from what we understand, it holds open a small portal to a location so you can move things between two houses.  Many, many witches and wizards have lost everything they've owned because they couldn't keep their focus well enough."  She opened a door.  "In there, children, and don't be long.  Visiting hours are nearly up and I'm sure your mother wants you home for dinner."

Ishi looked at her and shook his head. "Not if she can help it.  She only had him last night and Dad's somewhere fighting."

"Fighting what?"

"Mom never quite says," Arsene sighed.  "We think she's trying to protect us and he's off hunting poltergeists or something."  She had remembered that this world wasn't at war any longer, her mommy had said so.  "Do you think it'd be okay if we stayed at the Leaky Cauldron tonight?  I know Tom's a nice old guy from what Mom said, even though it's been *ages* since she's been there," she said at the renewed frown.

"Well, Tom's not doing much with it anymore.  His assistant has taken over the bar."  She considered it. "Let me call him, it might be all right.  Are you going to be starting Hogwarts?"

"In another two years," Melissa said happily. "Ishi gets to go this year.  We're scouting the sales too so Mom really doesn't have to."

"I can understand that.  My own kids were much the same."  She went to call the Leaky for them, coming back to find them staring at a naughty painting.  "None of that now," she snapped at the painting.  "No showing your bum at them, they're kids!"  She led them off, taking them back to the Leaky.  "Here they are, Tom.  Just as promised. Good as gold.  Found them in the special collection's room."

"I suppose it's fine then.  They seem to have some sense and all.  Got money on you?" Ishi handed over a few coins.  "That's more than enough for tonight and tomorrow if you need it.  Boy or girl?"

"One of each," Arsene said, shuddering.  "The little boy won't quit crying and the little girl had to get taken to a healer.  Auntie's with her.  Mom said best not to think of her until we know for sure.  She came out really blue."

"I'm sorry to hear that.  I've seen such though.  Twins are always hard.  The Weasley twins nearly killed their ma from what I heard not to mention what their father and uncle did to their own mother.  Come along, kids.  We'll show you to a room."  He smiled at the woman.  "Thanks, Arabelle.  Nice of you."  He nodded and they followed him up the stairs.  "I'll bring dinner up and we'll make sure you can get into the alley for the fireworks tonight.  How about that?" he asked with a grin.

"We'd *love* that," Arsene assured him.  "I haven't seen fireworks in *forever*."

"It's only been a year, we were in the US during the Fourth," Melissa reminded her.

"That's forever," she defended.

"Forgive them, they're younger," Ishi told him, making him laugh. "I'll watch out for them, they'll behave."

"That's good'a you to watch out for your half-sisters that way."  He patted him on the back and headed back down the stairs.  They were pretty nice kids.  Very polite.  He made sure to send up extra dessert with their dinners since they hadn't even had a pillow fight yet.

***

Arsene snuck into the building first, waving her sister on.  They had already figured out how to do this tonight and how to do the bank tomorrow.  It was nice, the house elves were about their size and they had special tunnels all around for them.  Plus, the bank had goblin sized ones and they were only a bit smaller than them.  Arsene nudged Melissa and she went to the other hall.  Their fifteen minutes alone had been more than enough to figure out what they wanted and she was going for that fixiter gem.  She managed to get it off the pedestal and hurried back to meet her sister and big brother, heading back out the tunnels with them.  Ishi had to bend sometimes, but it should be fine.  They snuck back into the Leaky with the rest of the crowd coming in from the fireworks, waving at Tom as they headed up the stairs.  The bag was put onto the bed and Ishi concentrated with the gem in his hands on their hiding spot.  As soon as it opened, Arsene stuck her head through, but it was theirs.  They emptied the bag into it and he let it go, wiping off the sweat.  "Think it'll be good enough?" Arsene asked.

Melissa sat down with her calculations.  "It should be," she agreed.  "We go for the biggest one, then shop."  If anyone was listening, it'd sound like they were doing as their mother ordered, looking over the sales.  "If there's time, we'll do the others tomorrow and then the rest the night after that."

Arsene beamed at her.  "We are the best evil overlords the world could ever want."

"Huh," Ishi snorted.  "Not yet you're not.  Remember, we still have to get past the Auntie and you know how much she hates it when Mom lets us run loose.  She wanted to send me to a military academy the last time Mom let us do this."

"True," Arsene agreed, "but we can get past the Auntie."

"Let's hope so," Melissa agreed.  "Let's hope brother's all right too."

"Yeah, I'm sure the kids are fine," Arsene said with a wink.  "After all, they must have gotten her unhitched from the bed by now."

"Hopefully," Ishi agreed.  He stretched out on one of the twin beds in the room.  "We should get some sleep.  Morning's going to come early."

"Yeah, we should," Melissa agreed, stripping down and putting her figures into the fireplace so they'd burn up.  She made sure they had turned to ashes, then laid down beside Arsene.  "'Night."

"'Night," they called to each other, settling in for a nap.

***

Lavelle came out the other side, and groaned.  He was at the school.  He looked around, then sighed and headed off for the town, remembering the map in the books.  He ran into a ghost and bowed politely.  "Hi, tracking the kids.  They came up here to play and see the animals."  He grinned and walked past her.

"Who are you?" the ghost asked.  "You seem very familiar somehow."

"Really?"  He stopped to look at the older woman. "I don't know why.  I went to one of the American schools.  A small private thing in the Midwest, Iowa."

"Oh, I'd heard they had a few of those.  Was it a quality education?"

Xander shook his head. "Not really.  I ended up taking an equivalency.  They spent a lot of time on chaos theory.  I've go to go, the kids are only eight and ten."

"Go," Rowena said with a smile.  "Have a nice day, young man."

"You too, ma'am.  May your steps be guided by the light of knowledge and purity."  He scampered off before she could stop him again, or before anyone could. At the moment, he wished he could cast something but he knew his magic would stand out like a sore thumb around here.  He cast a small location charm, a Wiccan thing he had learned, and found the kids had already left the town.  They were well ahead of him.  He groaned and headed into the deeper part of the woods, teleporting to where they were.  Fortunately there was enough demonic energy still in this plane to help him.  He figured out where he was when he saw everyone staring at him. "What?  It's a valid form of magic."  They all backed off and went back to the shadows.  He sighed and headed up the stairs to Diagon proper, leaving Knockturn behind.  "Figures the kids would come here," he muttered, heading for the place he knew they would have been, the clothing shop.  He smiled at the salesgirl.  "Hi, my kids are here working on something for their mom.  Two girls and a boy?  Have you seen them?"

She smiled and nodded. "Most pleasant young things.  One of them tried to give me a tip and wouldn't *think* of taking it back.  Even though I can't take them."  She handed it to him as she looked over his outfit.  "Aren't you chilly?"

"I got called out of a training session," he admitted, looking down at his shorts and t-shirt.  He looked at the money in his hand.  "Wow, the kids were really generous this time."

"She was trying to bribe me into a Slytherin tie," she shared with a wink. "You could use it to get more presentable."

"Yeah, I think I will."  He flipped some of his hair back with his right hand.  "Just a standard, casual outfit.  I'm hoping I won't need to fight anyone."  He pulled out his glasses, not often used, but always carried in a special hidden pocket around his neck in case he had to do something really little and fine, and pulled out two rubies.  "Do you think Gringotts could change these?"

"Of course," she agreed. "Those are very pretty.  Do you mine them?"

"No, they were my payment for my last job," he said with an eyeroll.  "I'm a demon hunter."

"Ah."  She nodded, putting him up onto the stool.  "Your children thought you might be something like that.  Said their mother keeps that from them but they figured ghosts and poltergeists."

"No, I hunt demons.  One infected me when I was a little kid and I learned some of their magic as well as my own.  That's why I went to a special school in the states.  We never had good uniforms. Itchy wool was nasty."  She clucked and went to get him something nice.  "Thank you."  He went in to change, coming out. "Pants are a bit tighter than I like.  I like looser things, in case I have to fight.  You wouldn't believe it, but I found a siren in a wizard bar a few months back.  All I wanted was a drink and I ended up calling in someone else to handle it because my wrist was broken."  She looked stunned but went to get him the next bigger size.  "Thanks."  He smiled and went to try them on.  "Perfect."  He came out to show her.  "Exactly right."  She smiled. "Am I going to owe you anything?"

"No, you're a delightful man," she said, kissing him on the cheek.  "We can give you that for the tip."  She took it back.  "You have a nice day."

"Thanks, you too."  He grinned and waved, heading out into the alley again.  He went to Diagon, changing one of his special rubies to galleons and sickles, then went to get a room at the Leaky and try another butterbeer.  He had liked them at the crossroads bar place.  He sat down to wait, knowing the kids would have to pass through here.  He saw them head upstairs later that night and shook his head, finishing up his late dinner and getting his own room.  The next morning he followed them around the alleyway, noticing some others had made it inside and were following them too since they did such a good job of looking like they belonged there.  He kept an eye on both parties, gathering some of the herbs and things that he had such a problem getting at home and another few outfits.  He stuffed them all into his special pocket, going in to eat lunch at the Leaky, then heading back out to do some more browsing and to watch the local Lupin and Jigen.  Goemon wasn't there yet or he wasn't showing himself.  He finally made his move, letting them see him.  Lupin walked up to him and he grinned.  "Morning," he said happily.  "Great day, much better than the countryside of France, huh?" he asked with a bright smile.   Lupin looked confused for a moment.  "Go to Beaubaxton's?  I hear the women there are quite stunning."

Lupin broke into French, clearing his expression with a smile. "Why yes," he answered.  "How did you know?"

"You look like you're French."  He grinned and walked around him, nodding politely to Jigen.  "I've done some work there.  It's really an interesting place.  Lots of pretty women and all sorts of muggle crossovers from what I hear, including those dreadful guns."  He strolled off, going back to tracking the kids.  Give them enough interest and they'd keep out of the kids' way.  That way they wouldn't be freaked by them.  He didn't think this Lupin and Jigen were ready for the hellions that were their possible future children.  He went back down into Knockturn, knowing exactly where the kids were heading.  It was the day before letters came out according to some shopkeepers he had overheard while they were stocking.  The bank was bare today in anticipation for tomorrow's rush.  The kids would be trying that and he could back them up after one last stop.  He walked into an odd and ends shop, smirking at the proprietor.  "I'm looking for something that can jump realms directly with my student."

"That would be powerful chaos magic."

"Chaos and demonic in tandem actually," he said as he walked in, pulling out every bit of snob he had in him.  A Malfoy-type would get more respect here.  "I'm told that you might know where I could find something of that nature?"

"I don't have one but I know there's one available," he admitted.  "It's in the hands of a ...person of questionable virtue."

"Eh, what do I care?  Some may say that about me, yet I do live by a certain code of honor.  I simply need it to help my student learn what I did.  Can you put me in touch with them?"  He nodded, heading into the back of the shop while he waited.  The man came out with a jug.  "That's bigger than I thought."

"Oh, it's stuffed in here," he assured him.  He opened it and pulled out a fist-sized ruby, showing it to him.  "That's it."

Xander held it up to the light, testing the spells.  "This is a temporal one, but I could use one of those as well.  I have an antique set of blessed armor that needs to be repaired by a line of the maker."  He put it on the counter.  "Do you have the other as well? I'm more than willing to pay a *fair* price."

"You an auror?"

"Do I look like an auror?"

"Well, no."  He grimaced.  "Put your hand on the silver."

Xander put his hand on the silver. "I am not an auror."

"Well, it says you're not," he admitted, pulling out two others.  "I can't remember which is which."

Xander looked at them, then smirked.  He knew what the last one was and the guy didn't.  "How much for all three?"

"Seventy thousand galleons."

"I said *fair*, as in reasonable," Xander sighed, shaking his head.  "It's not like I want to take them from you."  He smirked. "I'm Lavelle, Demon Lord."  He shook the man's hand. "You?"

"Arnold.  I'll give them to you for seven hundred."

Xander looked in his pocket, coming up with four diamonds Ethan had been pleading to put spells into.  "That good?"

"Oh."  He blinked, looking at them in the light.  "I..."  He looked at him.  "More than, mister.  Thank you, sir.  Should I box them up?"

"Please.  I've got a pocket to hide them in, but I'd rather they not set themselves off as soon as I walk out the door."

"Sure thing, sir.  How did you become a demon lord?"

"A former friend gave me to them and I was smart enough to get around them."  He smirked.  "It's helpful sometimes.  Especially since I worship Janus."  He took the bags with a grin.  "Thanks.  You never saw me in Diagon at all."

"Never ever, sir," he agreed, smiling as he walked out.  "Sucker.  This is closer to my price than not."

"I knew that," Xander called, opening the door again.  "I knew that when I came in."  He closed the door again and headed back to get his kids out of trouble.  He looked around but Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon were all gone and no one was creating a disturbance.  There was even a woman in a short skirt that was walking around and he wasn't panting.  It must have been a really serious job.  He moseyed over to the bank, having a feeling he'd be needed.

***

Ethan looked up, frowning at the room.  "Where is Lavelle?"  Marcus grunted so he kicked him under the table. "Where is our Xander?"

"Probably searching out his children before they try something.  Lupin said they were heading this way."  He glanced up as he turned the page.  "You know he's not dumb."

"I do.  I was simply wondering."  He left it there.  If Janus wanted him to find the boy, he would soon enough.

Iggy yawned and suddenly stood up.  "Found it!" he shouted.  Everyone rushed for his book, letting him point out the section he had been looking for all morning.  He yawned again.  "There."

"Go nap, kid, you did good," Alex assured him, heading to the table to look down at Ethan.  "Can we do this?"

Ethan read it, then nodded. "I have most everything in storage but a piece of the philosopher's stone.  I can't get any of that, but if you can then we can do it."

"It only takes a flake."

"There are no true alchemists on this plane," he offered.

Iggy put a vial down between them.  "Fortunately I brought my own," he said dryly, heading to the stairs. "All right if I take a nap?"

"Sure, go ahead," he said, staring at the little vial in awe.  "They're pure myth here."

"In our world too," Alex breathed.  "Draco?"  The older one looked up then went back to what he was doing.  "Consort!"  His came running, stopping when he saw it.  "A piece of a philosolpher's stone.  Iggy had it."

"He's a potion's master," Draco pointed out.  "I'm sure he needs it for something."

"He makes them," the older Snape said bitterly.  "That's partially flawed."

"Doesn't matter," Alex announced.  "We can work on the spell, it'll take at least four hours and it's potions intensive."

"I'll help," Draco told his Snape.

Both Snapes nodded, taking the vial and the book to the workroom to figure out what they needed from their persona stores, or from Iggy's box.

"Any asphodel?" one called.

"Refrigerator.  I had to thaw some."  Ethan got up to help them.  "It had to be shipped frozen since that part of the world is at war and I can't get any to grow."  He pulled out the tray, testing it with a finger.  "It's still a bit spongy but I do have an herb dryer."  He put it into the machine and turned it on.  "Two hours tops."

"Thank you," the older one said stiffly.

"I'd like to have one of those some days."

"We have one in the storeroom, it needs fixed.  Have your Alex tinker with it to fix the everlasting fire bit."

"Oh.  I hadn't known.  I haven't had a chance to go back there in years."

The older Snape looked at him. "Neither did I until the war was finally over," he admitted.  "Also, check your second store room, the one you started as a student.  I know I left things in there."

The younger Snape nodded.  "I know I did too.  I ran out of room in my trunk."  He smirked at his older self.  "I'm sure we can do this together.  Your apprentice and mine are both sleeping so they can finish it if we get too tired."

"Indeed," the older Snape agreed.  "Go rest, Rayne.  Your part is coming."

"Of course.  Not that I'm not healthy now."

"Rest, or else I'm feeding you an elixir of bombast."  The older Snape shuddered at the younger one's pronouncement.

"That sounds like the thing they fed me at the hospital to have my organs all cleaned out in case I died. I'll be napping in my prayer room."  He went to lie down in there on the small pile of pillows, silently praying for some of their knowledge to get sucked back here.

***

Lupin the Third reached for a very pretty stone but a small hand grabbed it from between his, making him look down at the person standing on the ledge.  "Who are you?" he asked warmly.

"Arsene Lupin the Fourth, daddy."  She grinned.  "Don't worry, there's no boobytraps on the ledges, but we could use some help getting the big doors open once we break the locks.  They're heavier than I had expected."

He hung there, stunned for a moment, swinging gently in his hanging harness, then nodded and flipped down, coming to help her.

Two floors up, Jigen stopped to look around. "Goemon, be more quiet," he hissed. The grunting stopped and he went back to looking at the vault in front of him and the key he had lifted earlier.  He stuck it in and turned it, then the door opened, showing him a pitiful amount of gold.  "They've got insurance," he muttered, pulling it out and into a bag.

Ishi strolled up behind him.  "I dare say the bank does actually," he said, sounding every bit like his father.  Jigen turned to stare at him, mouth open.  He waved his sword.  "Wrong generation, sorry, sir.  Need help?  I seem to have lost your future daughter and Lupin the Fourth."

"Sure," he agreed, pulling him closer.  He looked at the sword.  It was Goemon's Almighty.  He was a Goemon.  He blinked a few times.  "Name, kid?"

"Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth."

"Oh.  Okay then."  He handed over the bag. "Hold this."  He shoved more coins into it, then they headed out their exit path, meeting the older Goemon outside.  "Let's go.  Meeting spot now."

Goemon gave the young man a curious look, but followed him out of the alley.  He saw the young boy detour and nudged Jigen with his scabbard.  "Perhaps he knows a way?"

Jigen looked at him, then nodded and followed him out of the alley using an emergency hatch that had been opened earlier.  They walked out into normal London, into an alley, and headed away casually.  He looked from the younger Goemon to the older one, then back.  "Kid, who's your mother?"

"Fujiko Mine.  Bitch Queen of Asshole Lickers."

"Ah."  Jigen smirked at him then ruffed his hair.  "Good one.  I like that description really well."

Xander walked into the bank, knowing something was wrong.  "Have you seen my girls?" he asked frantically.  "They're eight, they left my side, saying something about coming to stare at your ears.  I can't find them anywhere and I'm hoping you guys caught them lurking with their Uncles."

The goblin looked at him then waved a guard over.  "His children are missing.  They find us attractive?"

"They have a thing about ears," he said with a helpless shrug.  "They're muggle born.  Their uncle is helping them with this first shopping trip down here since they manifested. Please?" he pleaded.  "They're with at least one uncle.  He's got dark hair, he's about my height.  He's skinny as a post.  He's wearing muggle clothes because we had to take them shopping earlier.  They're *really* good at sneaking places and I know they've been talking about trying to sneak in here to look at you guys and your ears.  Have you seen them?"

"No," the guard admitted.  "Come to my desk and wait."  He led him off to the side and went to search for them.  He found them coming up a small goblin tunnel with an adult behind them. "What are you doing?"

Melissa looked at him and grinned. "Exploring," she said, sounding years younger than normal.  "Isn't that okay?"

"The Uncle said it wasn't," Arsene said petulantly, nudging her.  "I didn't like it, it was dark," she whined.  She looked around. "Daddy!"  She ran for Xander and hugged him as hard as she could, hearing his whispered comment.  "Yes, daddy, I'll be good and I won't sneak away to look at ears anymore," she promised.  "Sissy!"  She came jogging over with Lupin.  "Come on, we're going home now.  No more watching ears."

"Thank you," Xander called, smiling and waving.  "I know they're troublesome.  I'm so sorry."  He led his girls out, letting the other climb onto his back. "Damn, how much did you eat today, girls.  You weigh a ton.  Come on, let's go."

"Go that way, daddy, there was something I wanted to see," Arsene said, pointing at another escape hatch.  She nudged the not-her-father and he followed along casually.

"So, Lavelle I presume?" Lupin asked dryly.

"Yuppers."  He grinned.  "Morning, Lupin."

"Daddy, how did you get past the dragon?" Arsene interrupted.

"I fed it a sedative-laced steak.  You?"

"I petted and cooed, but it still got mean so I let Ishi growl at it.  He's still not very happy this morning."  She looked at her stepsister, then back at him.  "Isn't that a bit...mundane, daddy?"

"Sometimes the most mundane things are the most important and the best solution," he said, tweaking her hair.

Xander grinned at him.  "It's a good lesson but she's not one for subtlety yet."  He patted his baby on the leg. "I was wondering about you earlier.  Let's go.  We've got a room for the night."

"We've got to get back before these two are missed by their other fathers, who have got to be throwing fits, girls."  They made it out of the alley and back into normal London, heading up that alley until they could catch a cab.  He spotted someone following them and put his daughters down.  "Where?"  Lupin whispered. "Good enough.  Take this, do not let the kids have it," he said, handing over his pocket.  Lupin nodded, getting in with them.  "Hi," he said when the redhead walked up to him.  "You must be a Weasley, and from the glasses I'd say Percy?"  He nodded, smirking at him.  "Lavelle."

"Xander Harris," he said, shaking his hand.  "I know the you here, very well."

"I was retrieving naughty kids, dude.  They ran into the world-renown thief in there."

"And are you a good man like the one here?"

"I guess that depends on what measuring stick you use," Xander admitted casually.  He grinned.  "I'm taking my girls home, that's all I want.  Really.  If we're going to have problems, then I'm going to have to get mean."  Percy snickered.  "Dude, I was made a consort against my will.  Chaos magic has nothing on demonic."  A woman walking past them gave them a funny look. "Discussing the various options in D&D, do you mind?"  She huffed and walked on.  He looked at him again, grinning at the woman behind him.  "Ah, the other Xander had a picture of you.  We're working on shutting the portal now, but my daughters decided to come see where the pretty golden bird came from."  She looked horrified.  "Really."

"Oh, no.  That's where that one went?"  He nodded, still grinning.  "Is she okay?"

"He and he's fine.  We apparently got a young male.  The kids each have a name for him."  He pulled out his picture.  "See?  That's Ishi, Arsene, Melissa, Sierra, Savannah, Alex, Fred, Sarah, Lotus, and Kenji."

Percy looked at the picture, then at him.  "You're more prolific than we are," he said in amazement.

Xander laughed.  "Janus let me have most of them, all but four."  Percy's eyes widened so he looked behind him.  "Eww, slime shooter."  He opened his collar as he whistled, showing him the mark up there.  "I can get more nasty."  The demon roared and disappeared.  "Good."  He did back up his shirt and looked at them again.  "Sorry, a hallmark of being given against my will.  Little reminders you know."

Percy nodded.  "Fine.  When are you leaving?"

"Within a few hours.  We're missing Ishi."

"He left with that other thief, Jigen, and the one who looked like him, Goemon," Arabelle told him.  Xander giggled, shaking his head.  "You know them?"

"Yeah, you can say that.  I'm the Dark Knight of my world.  I take out worse while following and helping them.  Of course my kids searched them out."  He shrugged.  "They're very sorry they caused you any problems, guys.   Little Arsene has a bad habit of shoplifting."

"No, she paid for most everything that we've been able to trace," Arabelle told him.  "Demon Lord?"

"Translates," he agreed.  "I am, I can control, call, and kill them."

"I guess that would be the same," Percy agreed.  "What are we in your world?"

"A really popular set of books."

"Oh, good.  Then we don't have to worry about you coming back?"

"Hell no."  He shook his head.  "The levels of chaos around here are making me itch to use it.  I want my kids away from here."

"That's fine.  Gather them and go, send the thieves away as well.  We're sure our spells are wearing thin so warn them what we can do," Percy said firmly, staring him in the eyes.  "I'm not the mousy thing I was in school."

Xander nodded.  "So I've heard.  Then again, neither am I."  He grinned and waved down a cab with a touch of power.  "Thanks, man.  Yours should be home within a few hours we think.  Iggy's hard at work with our Ethan, a few Snapes, and other bookish people."  He got into the cab and told him where he was going once they had started off, handing over twenty Pounds.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome, Mr. Harris."  He looked back.  "You don't look the same."

"That's because I'm not the one from here.  There's been a small portal problem and my kids snuck through here.  Fortunately I had some friends gather them for me from Diagon."  He smiled as they pulled up in front of the hotel.  "Thanks, man, keep the change."  He headed inside smoothly, then up to the room Lupin had whispered, knocking instead of opening the door himself.  "Okay, let's move.  They're coming for you guys."  Lupin and Jigen handed over the kids and the special pocket.  "Stuff they helped retrieve?"

"We split it forty-sixty in their favor," Jigen admitted.  "Do you exist here?"

"As one of the good guys protecting their people."

"Damn."  He shrugged.  "Sorry, Lupin."

"Not an issue."  He looked at Arsene.  "Who's your mother?"

"Was I the librarian or the pediatrician?" she asked her mother.

Xander shrugged. "I always get that confused."  He looked at Lupin.  "Look at your grandfather's will.  Ours said there had to be a Fourth."  They headed down to the garage, accepting the ride from them.   Ishi and Goemon were staring at each other.  "You were held captive with her for four months, Goemon.   By your timeline, Ishi should be about my twenty-two."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "Thank you for explaining that to me."

"Not an issue.  Lupin, take the next left, okay?"  He nodded and Xander got out with the kids, heading into the shadows to use the stone he had bought.  They landed in the second realm's backyard, then he looked at them.  "Home, now," he said firmly.   "Your fathers are going to have fucking cows.  A whole litter of them."

"Daddy, cows come in herds," Melissa reminded him patiently as they walked across the boundary.  "They also have single births, like humans do.  If you read my homework you'd know that."

"I do know that and they come in litters if I say they come in litters.  Also, your homework had typos out the ass, daughter.  Have you not figured out how to use a spell checker?"  He walked the kids into the house, finding Percy already there.  "Morning.  Told you I was coming back."

"So I can tell," he agreed, looking at Ishi.  "There was a break-in at the Ministry last night."

"Really?" Arsene asked.  Percy glared at her so she sighed and handed over the stone.  "We took it when we left.  I thought it was pretty and would come in handy to move our wardrobes."

He rolled his eyes.  "We can use this to track the other things."

"If you do, would you tell us?" Xander pleaded.  "We have no idea what she's been shoplifting again."  Only a partial lie.  Their other fathers had no idea but he knew about most everything.

Percy gave him a long look.  "Maybe you should be married."

"My husbands swear we are," Xander said dryly.  "But there's ten of them and four of us including the nanny, five if Marcus is around."

"I met him," Percy noted, sounding happier.  "He said that the girls were your responsibility."

"They're *all* my responsibility, man, which is why we never keep up with them.  If you find their hiding spot, I definitely want to know.  My wedding ring is missing."

Percy nodded.  "If we can, we will."  He headed out, rolling his eyes.  That one seemed very honest, if a tad bit on the shady side.  He supposed anyone who had been given to demons and who could use demonic magic would be like that.  Marcus trotted after him, giving him a book.  "Thank you, what's this?"

"A copy of Xander's Chronicle for the Watchers, up to a few years ago."

"Oh, thank you," he said happily.  "It'd be an interesting look."  He headed back home with the stone, letting his people see if they could break the kids' hiding spot.  If not, it was probably useless for a bit longer.

Xander looked at his kids.  "Did we use that spot again?"  They looked stunned.  "Really kinda obvious kids and Jigen found it."  He patted them on the back, heading inside.  "Hi, all, we're back.  Lotus, go help them if you're not busy doing magic stuff."  She nodded, heading out to help the kids move the majority of their stash.  They had a backup spot or three and it wasn't safe to keep everything together anymore.  He looked around. "Ethan?"  Everyone pointed at the prayer room.  "Cool.  I may have a solution to the temporal ones.  Are we discussing those yet?"  Everyone nodded so he pulled out the stone that switched times.  "Would that help?"  They all looked from it to him, then again, and a third time.  "The kids decided to do some shopping in Diagon so I went to Knockturn," he said honestly.

Ethan came out of his room, then smacked Xander across the back of the head.  "Do you know how unbalancing that is?"

"Ethan, hit me again and never get laid in your life," Xander warned.  "I can and will make you the world's biggest dildo."  Ethan looked hurt.  "You know I hate it when you did that."

"Sorry," he muttered.  "Still, it's very unbalancing."

"Ethan, it's chaos and demonic magic. It can't unbalance anything.  They're universal."

Ethan sighed. "Fine.  Can I keep it when you're done?"  Xander gave him an odd look. "Please?" he asked hopefully.

"No."  He tweaked him on the nose.  "Can you imagine how pissed Janus would be if you went back and time and kept the first Ripper?"  Ethan whimpered and looked horrified.  "Exactly."  He kissed him, making him moan.  "Now, you be a good boy and I'll let you share the herbs I bought."  He walked away.  "Like it, I found it there."

"I do," Ethan admitted. "Hides your rear though."  The robe came off and Ethan smirked.  "I do like those on you, Xander."

"Thanks, babe.  Going to stop the kids from taking all the stuff from their primary spot."

"Of course you are.  We'll call you back when we need you," Ethan agreed, shaking his head.  "Xander is one of a kind."

"In each and every realm he's on," Xander Harris-Weasley's husband agreed.  "Those kids looked familiar.  Ollie?"

"There were in the shop earlier.  I gave one of them an improved version of the icy fingers."

"Oh, them.  Grubby little ones then."  He grinned at Ethan.  "How much longer?"

"Ask the potions people, I've been kicked out of my own workroom."

"Iggy, how much longer?" George called.

"Two hours at the most," came floating out.  "Talk to your younger self about the stock."

"We got a good bit of that from them," the younger version of Fred admitted.  George handed over a scroll.  "What's this?"

"An everlast," he said proudly.  Fred unrolled it and squealed, hugging him before hurrying back to his family's side to show them.  "It's their list!"  His wife hugged him so hard she picked him up, and they toppled into their bed. "Well, I do say it calls for a celebration," he agreed smugly, leaning down to kiss her.  "Quite a good one hopefully."

"Always with you, babe."

***

The parties shook hands and separated, making sure no kids or pets strayed across each of the boundaries as they were closed.  Iggy did theirs last and slumped down at the counter, looking at his father.  "I'm exhausted.  That younger Snape has more energy than I do."

"Who has a demanding personal schedule?" his father retorted.

"Good point," he agreed happily. "I'm going to ignore it for the afternoon to take a nap.  I don't care what it is, I'm napping."  He went to lie down, flopping face-first onto his wife.  "Saved the universe, can I have a kiss?"  She gave him one and he grinned.  "Thanks."  He wrapped her in his arms, snuggling in behind her. "I'll molest you later, after a nap."

"Sure, Iggy, whenever you're ready," she agreed with a grin. "The universe?"

"Three Xanders, together, plus families, lovers, pets, etc."  She shuddered.  "Exactly, the universe.  Remind me to talk to Percy."

"Sure, love.  You rest. You deserve it for all the hard work you did."  That was a truly horrid thought.  She'd have to get rid of it somehow later, hopefully with Iggy's help.  She patted him down for his bookcase, then sighed and told the phoenix nesting next to the bed.  "He forgot his books somewhere, can you tell someone?"  It cheeped and went to do that for her.

***

Lavelle walked his kids back into the house a week later.  "Honey, we're home."  Lupin came out of his office, looking at them.  "Yes, they came to help."

"I heard."  He handed over a note. "Jigen said Pops found it in the bottom of his closet last night."

Xander looked at it, then laughed.  "This is where the kids were hiding stuff.  If you see these six things, please put them there within a week and we'll retrieve them.  Percy Weasley, Minster of Unmentionables."  He looked at the girls.  "Those look familiar?"

Arsene sighed.  "Fine, since we got caught doing it, we'll give it back," she complained.  "Lotus, we'll need help."

"Sure," she agreed.  "Give me a minute to get this stupid thing off."  She worked off her power restrictors, then followed the girls up to their room to move just those items back.

"Why were they hiding stuff in Pop's closet?"

"Because no one would ever look there," Xander said wisely, grinning at him.  "I have a real robe and we helped the you there rob Gringotts using the goblin's own traveling tunnels."

Lupin looked impressed.  "I saw all the gold that appeared in our room.  I took our twenty percent already and had it melted down.  Yours too, except about five galleons and a few of the other coins."  He smirked at him.  "I didn't think you'd mind having something that rare mounted?"

"No, not in the least," Xander agreed happily, giving him a long kiss.  "Thanks, babe.  Can I have sex now?"

"Sure, as soon as the girls put that stuff back and take a nap."

"IT'S NAP TIME!" he bellowed.  "Now please."

"Sure, daddy, you can have sex," Arsene called back.  "We won't listen, watch, or take notes or anything."

"Thank you."  Xander jumped Lupin, leading him into the safe room, one which the kids hadn't found yet and where you couldn't put any out-going electronics.  Only surveillance monitors of the house so you could watch the cops prowl around.  Xander pushed him back onto the padded bench, kissing him hard and long, making him hum in pleasure.  "That only leaves a few temporal jumps and we're clear."

"Wonderful.  Can you wear the choker for those?"

"I'll have to, Lupin, but I'm still not having sex with it on," he said firmly.

"I got myself fixed.  So did Jigen."

"Janus ordered me to have at least one more," he said fondly, grinning at him.  "You want a girl, put Jigen in it."  He kissed him again, ending that argument.

"Not a bad idea.  We can turn Jigen into a really pretty woman," Lupin agreed, kissing him harder and rolling Xander underneath him.  "Good you.  For that you deserve a reward.  Want to order dinner?"

"Pizza," Xander moaned as his zipper was lowered.  "Lots of cheese."

"Done."  Lupin gave in easily this time.  Later he would be harder to talk into extra cheese.

***

Inspector Zenigata opened his closet and noticed a board was out of place.  He pried it up and frowned at the note inside, picking it up to read it.  "To whom it may concern.  The thieves using this space are young girls and really should be spanked and sent to reform school before they can find a taste for the life."  He broke out in laughs.  "Too late, buddy.  If our world has to suffer through a Lupin the Fourth working with a genius Jigen, so does yours."  He put it back and put the board back, then went to get some nails so the kids couldn't get in again.  "Dawn, can you do something for me?" he asked sweetly.  She nodded, grinning at him.  "Keep the little thieves out of my closet.  All of them."

"Sure, honey, I'll ward it later so a really loud alarm goes off whenever anyone under the age of twenty opens it."  She gave him a long kiss.  "Feel better?"

"They've been using that spot in my closet as a stash hole."

"Hmm.  Smart of them.  No one would ever dream of looking down there."  He gave her a look.  "I'll talk to them.  Did your boss have fun explaining Lavelle and the crown?"

"No, but now we have a new Commissioner who knows his shit for once," he said happily.  "I'll have to write him a thank you note for making the old bag retire finally."  He went down to the kitchen to get a drink on his way to the nails.  He knew they had some somewhere. He would do his best to stop Lupin the Fourth before her reign of terror started.  His protégé was standing at the back door so he let him in.  "What?"

"Sir, I have horrible news to report.  My plan to apprehend Arsene Lupin the Fourth redhanded has failed.  She did something and went somewhere and came back with tons of stuff and I can't prove a thing!"  He handed over the tape with a pout.  "I don't know how she does this, but I can't chase her, sir, and I can't keep going undercover as her driver."

Zenigata sighed. "I thought it might come to this.  Good work, what you did was good enough for now.  She's only eight after all."  His protégé broke down in tears, sobbing against his chest.  He patted him awkwardly.  "Go home.  Get some rest.  Forget she existed and ask to be transferred to a calmer station, man.  Pull yourself together."

"Yes, sir," he said with a salute, walking out in tears.

"Another Lupin nightmare for the world," he sighed, putting the tape down on the washer.  He finally found the nails and went to fix that hole before it could be used again.  He found a necklace in there with a pretty bow and snorted, tossing it onto the bed.

Dawn walked in to see what he was doing and squealed.  "Oh, that is the best present ever, Zenny!" she cried, leaping onto his back and hugging him as hard as she could.  "You're wonderful!  How did you do it!"

"Magic," he said, kissing her.  "It's the only way it could have gotten there."  He'd let her be happy.  As long as it wasn't stolen, what did he care?  If Fujiko didn't miss it, then he wouldn't say anything.

Challenges

NC-17, angst warning.

Lupin looked at his gathered people, well most of them anyway.  "We have a small problem with the next job," he announced.  "I was challenged, but I have to bring a female."

Goemon looked at him.  "Fujiko won't agree," he reminded him.

"That's okay because she wouldn't fit it anyway.  It has to be someone young, pretty, and hot.  She's not exactly fitting those descriptions most of the time these days."

"Should we call back Dawn?" Marcus suggested.

"We could, but then Pops will throw fits," Jigen reminded him.  "Bix?"

"Is a possibility but I've never seen her outside of a kimono and I'm not sure she can handle this one," he admitted.  "It will be dangerous.  The guy challenged me and said I could only bring *a* date to the game.  Therefore I can't really do a lot with you guys this time unless one of you is coming with me."

"Then I guess it's putting Xander back into the choker," Marcus sighed.

Lupin shook his head.  "He's gone.  He heard about it and ran, leaving a note that said if we even came near him with that thing that we were going to die horribly and he'd then take over my empire, run it properly, and give it all to the kids in ten years.  He's still having panic attacks about that thing and we can't."

"Which means one of us has to do it," Jigen said flatly.

"We can teach whichever of you does it easily enough," Lupin promised.  "Xander said he'd come back and help for that, but he's not going to do the female job anymore.  He said he'd rather go to hell and fix things down there by sleeping his way to the top."  They all winced.  "I'll let you three decide how you want to do this.  Jigen can tell you it doesn't hurt."

"No, it'll only fuck with your head, man," Jigen said bitterly.  "I nominate Marcus or Goemon.  I make an ugly dame and I'd have to shave."

"The choker takes care of all that," Marcus admitted.  "Xander said that he had gotten to the point where he could imagine himself without needing to shave his legs or armpits after a bit.  Not his privates, because those he couldn't do exactly, but everything else he could have made so he didn't need to shave them."  He looked at the older men.  "I have no idea if I could make a decent woman or not.  All the women I know are stuffy outside of Dawn, Fred, and Fujiko.  Fred's a geeky little darling and you know the other two aren't exactly the ideal version of femininity.  Master Goemon?"

"I refuse to be emasculated in such a manner," he said firmly, his voice nearly a hiss.  "Must we do this job?"

"I was challenged and it's got a very nice payoff," Lupin admitted.  "He's got six perfectly exact emeralds on a necklace.  Down to the most exacting measurement exact."

"Which is impossible," Marcus noted.

Lupin nodded, handing over the picture.  "It is.  Even more impossible is that they look like they're in the rough state.  People all around the world want to own this necklace and he only allows his former girlfriend to wear it, and she only got it twice.  It was his engagement gift to her and then she dumped him without taking it with her."

"Stupid of her," Jigen muttered.  "I still make an ugly woman, Lupin."

"The choker is ever-changing," Marcus offered.  "It can make you whatever you want to be.  You could be a supermodel or you could be Kathy Rigby."

Lupin gave him a funny look.  "She's not the sex symbol I would have picked, but all right," he said, shaking his head.  "Always had a thing for Peter Pan, Marcus?"

"Well, yes," he said with a blush.  "I loved that play."  He cleared his throat.  "Anyway, I'm not sure I could make the sort of woman you would want.  I know I'm a stuffy git, I have no delusions about my nature, and I'm not the best actor.  I'm sorry, Lupin, but I don't think I can play that part."

"I refuse as well," Goemon said, standing up.

"Me too," Jigen agreed.

Lupin sighed and pushed them both back into their seats.  "Then the only fair way to do this is to try it on each of you for a few minutes, see who does best in the thing, then train you for this job."  The two older men glared at him. "It's not emasculating.  You'll still have your dick, it'll simply be hidden from view."

"What about Bix?" Marcus asked.

Bix walked in wearing one of Sylvia's dresses.  "Xander called, told me to get into his purple suitcase, pull out this dress, and come down here in it," she said, looking confused.  "I have no idea why."

Goemon looked at her, then sighed.  "She is not built to the ideal?"

"No, he likes big breasted innocent women," Lupin admitted.  "Thanks, Bix.  We're having a problem with an upcoming job and Xander refuses to put on the choker again."

She scowled at him.  "As he should," she agreed firmly.  "It is not right to keep torturing him that way when you know he has issues about his identity and how you only respected him while he was your willing sex slave."  She headed back to Xander's room to change back into her usual kimono, then went back to the nursery.  "Never let them talk you into such things," she told Fred gently, patting him on the back so he'd sleep again.

"We didn't respect him as a guy?" Jigen asked.

"No, the vision showed that Sylvia got a lot more respect than Lavelle did," Marcus sighed, shaking his head.  "Fine, we should all try it on to be fair.  I'll even go first."

"At least Goemon has the hair for it and he won't have to shave off any trademark beards," Jigen complained.

"Neither will you.  You didn't when you tried it on that once," Lupin promised.  "I'll take it right back off," he vowed, putting it around Marcus' neck, thinking about the image they needed.  She was cute, in a librarian sort of way.   He took it off and looked at Jigen, who groaned and tipped his head forward.  He turned out all right, but his chin was a bit pointed and his hair was fairly fluffy.  He looked at Goemon, who glared at him and fingered his sword. "It's only fair, big guy," he pleaded.  "If it's not you, it's Jigen."  Goemon grumbled but let it be put on him, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to look.  Lupin looked at him.  He was a bigger version of Bix, without the tits he had imagined.  "Okay then."  He took it off and put the choker back in its box. "Jigen, looks like it's you, buddy," he said miserably.

"You could bribe a woman who you work with," Marcus offered. "One of your other contacts perhaps?"

Lupin shook his head.  "I wouldn't trust them at my back in such a situation.   This'll be me and him with you two waiting at the hotel for us and listening.  Jigen, even if things go bad, he doesn't torture his female victims but he insists that anyone he tries has one with them so he has someone to look at.  Not that you're the best at it, but I'll plead for Xander to come back and help you in the range, the same way you did in that other timelilne."

"I can do it," Jigen told him.

"Yes, but there's things you'll need to know," Lupin pointed out.  "It's got to be confusing and he can help."

"He ran, he's not gonna come back this soon, Lupin," he said coolly.

"Xander will be back, he'll make sure that the choker can't go around his neck," Marcus corrected bitterly.  "He really had such problems?"

"He said he did," Lupin agreed, glaring at the doorway.   "Otherwise this wouldn't be an issue."

"Sylvia is a bit more worldly than you'd need from what you've said," Goemon pointed out.  "Xander cannot play innocent any longer."

"Xander is a better actor than you give him credit for," Fujiko said from the doorway.  "Ishi let me out so I could come talk to you, Lupin.  Can we?"

"In a minute, Fujiko. Jigen, if I had another way, I'd use it.  We'll work on it tonight?"  He groaned, then sighed and nodded, looking down.  "I promise, not even a picture of you," Lupin vowed.  He made Jigen look up at him. "I won't even hit on you if you don't want me to.  You can be a grande dame of the old school and everything."

"Fine," he said coolly.  "Then I never have to do it again, right?"

"Never again," Lupin promised.  "We'll get Xander some mental help about that later."  He led Fujiko to his office and locked them inside.  "What?"

"Do you know what you've done to my reputation?" she asked bitterly.  "You've ruined it totally!  I won't ever be able to pull another job!  I'm not only going to have stretch marks, I'll be fat!  Horribly fat!  I won't be able to fit into a bikini, none of my usual outfits will fit, and everyone will know how Goemon and I broke apart!  How dare you let him do that to me!"  She pulled out a dagger and rushed him but he was able to push the knife aside and grab her to pull against his chest.  "Let me go!  Help!  Let me go!"

Goemon kicked open the door, then caught the knife Lupin tossed him.  "I see."  He nodded.  "Shall I put her back?"

"No.  Not yet.  We need to have her examined to see if your son can be born soon," Lupin said bitterly, pushing her into a chair.  "Watch her for a few minutes."  He grabbed his phone and called one of their neighbors, who was a doctor.  "Hey, it's Lupin.  Can you make a housecall soon?  No, Goemon's wife is about eight months along and she just tried to knife me.  Yeah, that sort of psychotic.  We had to lock her in a room before, but this is getting worse and we're worried about her with the kids around.  Please.  Yeah, that'll be fine.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "He'll be up after dinner sometime."  He stared at Fujiko.  "First, the weight will come off.  The stretch marks can be faded and eliminated if you go to the right people, even if they have to remove them.  Secondly, we're not telling anyone anything about this, Fujiko.  You've embarrassed Goemon horribly."  Her mouth opened.  "Shut it!" he snapped.  She whimpered but shut her mouth.  "Thank you.  This will not affect you because we're not telling anyone to embarrass *him*.  You turning psychotic looks bad on *him*, not the other way around.  The only ones who know how bad you've been are your children, our children, and the rest of us.  So unless you've pissed off Jigen or Xander that badly, no one else knows and probably no one cares.  You haven't pulled a non-group job in a while anyway and everyone thinks you've retired to raise the next generation of crime.  Don't believe me, ask the bulletin boards."  He pointed at his computer.  "Right now."

She slowly got up and slid around him to log on under her own name, typing in that she wanted a reputation check before she did a new job on her own.  A few people congratulated her on already having the baby but the rest ignored her when her current 'status' was given.  She started to sniffle, then wailed and got up, running back up to her room.  "I hate you all, I wish you had never been born!" she screamed as she slammed her door and locked it again.

On the other side of the property in an old tree house, Xander looked up.  "If one of you wish demons takes and uses that, I'd have to take apart hell once it was fixed," he growled.  "I mean it too. There will be nothing to keep me from taking over and ruling it all."

Below him a higher court demon who looked like a young boy looked up at him.  "You sure about that, Lavelle?"

Xander looked down at him.  "Has anyone ever pointed out that the highest of high demons being children was a freakish thing worthy of many mental shudders of revulsion for what you've done to and with adults?"

He smirked at him.  "Feel lucky I had you in my scary, bigger form."

Xander ignored that jibe for the obvious ploy it was.  "What?  Not going to grant that?"

"Hell no, the world would have ended when Glory took over, thereby pushing us out."  He cleared his throat.  "Got an offer for you, man.  Simple thing.  There are people in my realm that are not really supposed to be there.  Guys and gals who have had to kill on the job and things."

Xander shifted to lay on his stomach.  "Soldiers, cops, guys like that?"

The demon nodded.  "Exactly.  Strict rules, but protecting yourself and doing your job isn't covered so they're mine.  You know how that works since you're damned even if you become a warrior priest for the light."  Xander nodded, he knew that.  "So, I don't want to argue with you.  I also don't want you to challenge me for mastery over all of hell.  That would get messy and I'd lose at least half my forces even if I won."  Xander nodded again, giving him a smug look.  "So, instead, I want to give you a chance to help those unwanted souls.  You get something like that Crossroads Bar place.  You and your guys," he said quickly when Xander opened his mouth.  "I know you'll want them anyway, it's not even a bargaining point for me.  Your whole family when they make it down there with you.  You can run the bar, put up with them, have a limited number of vetoes on who's allowed and who isn't.  You can have all the powers you want limited to that area.  You don't challenge me to mastery.  You don't destroy the realm when you come down.  As a matter of fact, you get to hide in there and get whatever you want."

"I get to watch the kids who are back here.  I also want a cable link, tvs in each room and two in the bar, a big ass library, and stuff for the people to do.  It was boring at the Crossroads, I can't imagine staying there forever.  I get up to eight vetoes a century and they carry over if I don't use them.  You get everyone else's permission."

The master of hell considered it.  "Reasonable.  Marcus and you would get to keep your magic anyway.  If anything happened, it'd be your own section of hell, in line with your formal title."  Xander raised an eyebrow.  "We'd negotiate with you about the unbaptised children, but we've got someone else who's over them who's pretty good at it," he assured him.

"Is this a necessity at this time?"

"Oh, hell no," he scoffed. "I want you nowhere near my realm yet, Xander.  Expect to live to a ripe old age and see the grandchildren if I have a say in the matter.  That's okay with you as a preliminary agreement?"

"Sure, if you get the others to agree," he agreed.  "It beats suffering."

"It does," the demon agreed.  "I'll ask them soon.  It's definitely not a consideration soon, but I'd rather have the time to make the space in case the Fates have other ideas.  Thank you for being reasonable."

"Don't worry, if you don't keep your end, I'll be walking naked through the next formal revel and worship ceremony."  He grinned at him.  "I always wanted to do that, ever since my third day down there."

"Agreed," he said, backing away.  "I'll go talk to the others.  What about the chick?"

"Bix?  She's probably a pure soul."

"Not really."

"Then she can come with us."

"And the other?"

"Fujiko?"  The demon nodded.  "Have not a clue, man, ask Lupin."  He shrugged. "Not my thing and not my woman."

"Good point.  I thank you for being so reasonable."   He disappeared up to the house, landing in the playroom.  He smirked at Arsene, one of his greatest rebirths ever.  "Hey, babe."

"Out, foul demon!" Bix shouted, swatting at him.  "Begone!"

Goemon came running in, grabbing the extra child to glare at him.  "What are you doing in here!"

He swallowed.  "I came to make a deal so you don't have to be tortured for eternity, man.  I don't want to face Lavelle either and I don't want him to have to plan on how to take over my realm.  Put me down and give me to Lupin so we can all discuss it?"  He saw the thought going through Goemon's head.  "Toss me through the window and I'll have to come back as a nightmare.  It's a fair deal.  I don't want Lavelle in my realm at all.  Ever.  It won't endanger your souls, it won't hurt you in the least, and it'll keep him out of my hair."  He looked back at Lupin.  "Promise, man, I'm not gonna hurt the children, I'm not gonna taint you any.  You're already mine even if you confess because you've killed."  Ishi moaned.  "There's a way around you being one of mine and working for me, young man," he promised.  "I want you guys to run a new section and I'm willing to negotiate.  Lavelle said I had to bring it to you."

"He told you to appear in the nursery?  I sincerely doubt it," Bix spat.

"Well, no, not in the play area.  Just that I had to bring it to you.  I homed in on a rebirth."  He gave Lupin another look.  "All I'm asking is that you hear me out.  I'm not looking for souls today and I don't want to taint the kids."

"Take him to the office," Lupin ordered, getting out of the way.  "Good job, Bix."  He gave her a hug.  "Very good work.  Kids, are you all right?"  They nodded.  "Good, then check on the kids."  He tipped Ishi's face up.  "It's no different than a cop having to do the same thing, you protected them, Ishi," he said quietly.  He nodded and gave him a stronger look.  "We'll figure it out and tell you guys later."  He pulled Bix with him, gathering Fujiko at the same time.  The adults all had to hear this.  "Fine, we're here, give," he ordered once the door was closed.

"Lavelle knows he can take over my realm."

"You're the devil?" Fujiko asked.  "You look like a six-year-old."

"The higher the demon, the younger we look," he admitted.  "I came in my natural form."  He cleared his throat.  "As I was saying, Lavelle could easily take over my realm, all joking aside.  I'd hate that, you'd hate that, we'd all lose in that incidence.  In fact, it's people like Ishi who made me come up with the idea.  Him and Lavelle's friend Ray."

"You don't call him by his given name?" Bix asked.

"I don't have that right," the lord of hell pointed out gently.  "I'm just as responsible for his torture as the one who had him.  I joined in, I freely admit I made the worst mistake in my life with that boy."

"And my father," Marcus spat.

"No, I didn't quite do the same thing with him.  That's why he doesn't have silver hair."  He cleared his throat.  "Anyway, we're in a small quandary and I think your group can solve it for us.  People who have to kill to protect themselves or because it's their jobs are still my domain.  There is no confession and cleansing from Murder.  That's not really fair to them, but I can't change that rule," he pointed out at Marcus' opening mouth.  "That's the way the pact was made.  Most of them I don't want to torture.  It's not really their fault, you know.  So, instead of Lavelle taking over and making himself Lord over all Souls, I wanted him to take over a section of his own.  Run something like the Crossroads Bar for them.  He'll keep all his magic.  When I brought this idea to him, he requested a way to check on the children, and I have no problem with that, and any children that come my way will be going with you.  He also requested a library, cable, tvs, and things for the people to do.  He did say that you had to make your own decisions on this matter.  I did tell him I didn't think this was a current consideration but I need some time to set it up if it's acceptable."  He looked at Bix, then sighed.  "You had to kill to protect yourself," he said bitterly.  She nodded stiffly.  "That does technically make you one of mine by the pact.  I can't change that, Bix."

"I know."  She put her hands together to keep them from moving.  "Is that the offer?"

"Yes.  To run a place like that for those who have had to kill on the job.  There'll be no paperwork, nothing like that.  Just being a barkeeper for eternity with your family, and being able to watch your families."  He gave them all a look.  "He ordered me not to do anything without coming to you about this.  It solves all our problems and I don't want him to become a problem I have to take out and force to become a demon.  I can.  One of the marks on his body would have made him one if it hadn't been interrupted.  It wouldn't be that hard to finish it."

"He'd be an incubus," Fujiko snorted.

"Fujiko, he's a consort.  He's a Prince in Hell.  If he wanted to, he could take over whole sections of hell and rule it and no one could complain about it.  He can control my troops and lead them into battle if necessary.   The demon who had him was a younger Fallen One.   He has the same status as any of us who actually fell."  Mouths all over the room gaped.  "Now you see my problems?"  They all nodded.  "That's why I want to keep him out of any conflicts.  You'd have your own section.  You wouldn't be allowed out of it.  I'm willing to bend over backwards to keep him out of my hair and I'm even willing to let some of the training incubi and succuba to come in to help entertain.  Not an issue," he promised earnestly, pushing his luck at the moment.  "The deal is this.  Someplace like the Crossroads Bar.  So many vetoes a century and he wanted them to carry over if not used.  You keep your powers.  You get to watch the kids all you want and any family that becomes mine goes to you automatically unless you send them away.   Cable, library, tvs, sexual demons, not an issue.   You don't come out of your section unless it's an emergency and no one answers a summons."

"Angel," Marcus spluttered.

"The Powers have their own section for their warriors and chosen, but they don't realize that they're in hell.  They still kill and the pact said that they're damned if they do."  He looked at them again.  "The only ones we're not sure about is Fujiko and Bix.  Bix, you could go work with the elementals or with the unbaptized if you wanted.  Or you could move back and forth if you wanted.  Fujiko, I have no idea what to do with you.  If they don't want you around, then I can find something else for you to do so Lavelle doesn't get an attack of conscience and come for you."   He looked at Lupin again.  "I'm not bullshitting you and I'm not jacking you off.  My only concern is that Lavelle doesn't start the next reformation holy war among the angels and us.  Then everyone loses.  Think about it and then tell Marcus' father to call me back."

Everyone woke up from the shared dream and blinked a few times, then screamed almost as one, "LAVELLE!"

Xander walked in the back door of the house.  "That's why I told him he had to come to you guys."  He grabbed some soda and left again, running into the woods before Goemon could find him.

Lupin came out of his office, looking at Jigen, Goemon, and Marcus.  "Did you just get that?"  They nodded.  "He's that scared of him?"

Marcus swallowed.  "Yes," he admitted.  "I peeked in Xander's Chronicle.   It was a lower level Fallen One who took him and the reason he has white hair is because that particular demon whispered all sorts of secrets in his ear as he hurt him," he said quietly, glancing around.  "Including his true name."

Lupin blinked a few times.  "I'm no theologian, but isn't that dangerous?"

"They never expected him to leave," Jigen said, suddenly getting it.

"Most don't," Marcus admitted, looking at him.  "Almost none taken do, and Xander was truly nearly turned into a demon.  I saw the scar where he cut that glyph off his body with a hot knife.  I asked, he told me because he was drunk."  Lupin and Jigen both shuddered and Goemon continued to glare at the kitchen.  "It is a charming offer and it would give us something to do other than being tortured."

"He did not make the choice for us," Goemon offered.

"He couldn't have," Marcus assured him.

"He offered it so we won't be paying for what we've done," Jigen pointed out.  That was incredibly sweet of Lavelle.

"Why now?" Lupin asked dryly.  The phone rang so he answered it.  "Yeah?"  He listened to the calm voice giving him an exact reason.  "Thanks for that, Xan.  Wanna come home now?  Fine."  He hung up.  "Apparently one of the minor section leaders is starting a revolt because of what Xander could do, citing the irresponsible behavior of their boss in relation to his tainting."  He ran his hands through his hair.  "Anyone want a drink?  I know I do," he said as he headed for his personal stash of good liquor.

"Give me one too," Jigen agreed, following.

Goemon nodded.  "Me as well."  He tugged on Marcus' arm.  "Will he keep his word?"

"He seemed quite sincere about not facing Xander across a battlefield," Marcus pointed out as he followed.  "I'll take a small one as well please, Lupin."  A large rock glass full to the brim was handed over.  "Very well then, I'll have a larger one."  He sat down to sip it.  He suddenly grabbed his cellphone and called Xander's backup phone, getting him.  "There's a real threat of war?"  He listened to the information Xander had gotten.  "How do you know?"  He raised an eyebrow and took a drink.  "What were you doing with them?"  He smirked.  "Ah.  Very well then.  That's why he came here.  It does explain it.  Do you believe it?"  He laughed.  "True, we don't want you to become an incubus, Xander.  If your source was that strong, then I believe it as well.  Let me think."

He hung up and found everyone staring at him.  He closed his flip phone and put it back into his pocket.  "Xander was at one of his houses of ill repute the other night and a succubus came up to him with the information.  She had marks on her back from ill treatment and wanted to have him release her.  She offered the information in payment," he told them.  "So he released her so she could be reborn.  We're expecting her as a presidential daughter in the US any week now."  He took a bigger sip.  "It seems that the hosts of hell are in a blind panic and some of them are capitalizing on this. They're moving to up their status in the ranks, even though one who isn't a Fallen One can't be made one or take their positions because of the innate power they hold."  He took another drink and Goemon took it from him so he frowned at him. "I wasn't stalling, I was ordering my thoughts."  He took it back and took another drink.  "They seem to be truly scared of what Xander could do after he dies, or if he goes down there right before he dies, thereby giving him a physical form around his soul to protect it further."  He took a long drink, then looked at Lupin.  "From what he can tell, it's a serious offer."

Lupin sighed and drained his glass, pouring himself another one and one for Jigen since he was holding up his glass.  He handed Goemon the saki bottle instead of refilling him already.  "And the bad would be?"

"Well, we'd never have to wonder about what our afterlife would be like," Marcus noted.  "It might make us less wary while doing jobs."

"Whoever got there first would be pretty bored," Jigen offered.  "Which kid was he staring at upstairs when Bix found him in the vision?"

Goemon looked at Lupin.  "Arsene."  He looked at Jigen.  "Then my son."

"But Arsene hasn't killed," Lupin noted.  He took a large gulp.  "Has she?"

"The other timeline had them in that kidnaping thing and Ishi said that Lotus knocked a few out," Marcus said calmly.  "It's entirely possible that she helped those that Lotus knocked out."  He drained his drink and got up to get another one.  "Either that or she's a rare rebirth."  He filled his glass again and went back to sit down.  "In which case he would have a reason to look upon her because she was a soul sent around for a second time."

"I've always thought she was like my grandfather," Lupin sighed, draining his second drink.  He poured himself a third and topped off Jigen's.  "Or my dad's returned maybe."

"Maybe," Jigen agreed, frowning a bit.  "It would explain why she was so good."

"She's a rebirth," Marcus sighed.  "She's got to be.  There's no way she could have caused that sort of damage during the kidnaping."  He gulped his drink, then frowned at the windows. "Where is he hiding?"

"Probably in the tree house," Lupin offered.  "I built it when I was ten to hide from lima beans."  He blinked a few times then sighed and finished off his third drink in one long gulp.  "I'm gonna sleep on this for a bit."

"As am I," Marcus admitted.   "It beats the alternative."

"It does," Goemon agreed bitterly, "but some of us believe in reincarnation."

"Then hey, it'll give you a place to go between lives," Lupin said with a shrug. "You're family, you could probably be watched from afar."

Marcus let out a bitter laugh.  "I've often wondered if my possession by the demonic warrior tainted me enough to make it a moot point."  His phone rang so he dug it out, frowning at the information coming across.  "Well."  He hung up.  "Xander said his taint was so bad that even if he became a warrior monk he couldn't make it out of hell."  He put his phone back up then stood up, heading up to his room. "I'm going to take a nap.  We'll work on the female thing later."  He put his glass down before he headed up the stairs, making sure it was as empty as he could suck it.  He knew his taint wasn't anywhere near Xander's, so maybe he should think about becoming a warrior monk in his free time. Or even instead of being a thief.  He laid down and closed his eyes, deciding a nap would help him think best.

Goemon finished his drink and his next one came directly out of the bottle. "I do not like the timing."

"Neither do we, Goemon," Lupin reminded him.  He stood up, shaking a bit.  He wasn't ready for such heavy thoughts, he wasn't near old enough yet. "I say we shelve these thoughts until really late tonight when we can't sleep.  Any objections?"  No one said anything.  "Good, then I think I'll join Marcus in the passed out state."  He went to lie down with his bottle.   He picked up the phone, calling Xander's cellphone.  "Come back?" he asked miserably.  "I hate these thoughts."  He smiled and let himself be talked out of it by Xander's bedtime story.  "You'd be really good at that job, Xan," he whispered.  "You're very caring and the guys and girls would love to have you."  He sniffled.  "I wouldn't have much to do."  Xander told him exactly what he'd be doing and he grinned. "I like that idea I guess.  I'll consider it some other time."  He hung up and let himself pass out, dreaming of the fairytale Xander had just created for him.

Downstairs Jigen looked at Goemon.  "It's better than paying for all the people we've killed," he offered.

"Yes, it is," Goemon agreed.  "But I still want to live a better life next time."

"With your luck, you'd be someone's pet cat," Jigen taunted.

"I'm not the one who likes to take naps in the sun all day," Goemon countered.  "Or who is so fussy in his grooming."

Jigen snorted. "I don't think Lupin would make a good cat, man."

"Me either," Goemon agreed, smirking at him.  "Shall we?"

"Beats the alternative and then we can ask to forget about it."

Goemon nodded.  "I can agree with that.  It doesn't answer my questions however."

The demon appeared, frowning at him.  "You had to make this difficult, didn't you.  Yes, you would be reincarnated, but the list is really long right now.  You'd have to be born into another life where you'd have the opportunity to find Buddhism again, young man.  There's very few of those slots open these days with the rampant virus of Christianity into China.  This wouldn't negate that any however."

Goemon nodded.  "Our children would be coming?  We could visit those who did not earn their places?"

"Yes, you could," he agreed.  "Though the pact says no special powers.  Even those of that group in Greece are going to be there someplace."  Goemon grunted at that.  "Agreed?" he asked hopefully.

"I want to see the full contract."

"Of course.  I'm having them drawn up now.  You know how lawyers are, they work by the hour."  He looked at Jigen.  "No torture, no pain, no nothing but a lifetime swapping stories and getting drunk in a corner of hell that everyone will ignore."

"Better than the alternative," Jigen agreed.  "I still want to see a contract too."

"Deal," he agreed, "and I'll have it for you when you die, all you have to do is negotiate.  I don't want to fuck with Lavelle and sending my personal love slave to him when she got suicidal was a good opening move in this complicated dance.  I wish I had known then how many of the demons wanted my ass on a pole."  He looked at them. "Forget you ever saw me, gentlemen.  We won't be meeting again until you die."  He disappeared, going to do the same meeting with Marcus and then Lupin.  He saved the worst for last, going to see Bix.  "Well?"

"I don't like you," she sniffled.

"I know that.  You'd be with them even if you didn't agree to help them," he offered.  She looked at him.  "As I told the big lug downstairs, reincarnation spots are limited and getting smaller.  The list is literally miles long at this point and monks and nuns get first call."

She nodded.  "Then I would not mind either way," she admitted. "But I would rather be served than serve."

"Agreeable.  Forget you ever saw me, Bix."  He disappeared and the knowledge went with him.  He'd leave Fujiko for a bit, let her think.  He heard his name being called by Ishi and went back to look at him.  "Yes?"

"You're not going to hurt me, right?"

The demon smiled and shook his head.  "No, son, I'm looking to make a special place for people like you that's run by Lavelle.  That way you wouldn't have to be hurt."

Ishi nodded. "Thank you.  The mother?"

"Has to make her own decision and I'll be coming to talk to her tonight.  Forget I was ever here, kiddo, really."  He erased the knowledge and left, going to check on Fujiko, who was still crying.  He went back to manage the problems, telling the lawyers to mark them as special sorts for their contracts.  That way they wouldn't worry themselves into dying too soon.  He did start a rumor that Xander was going to be heading a new section, a necessary one, and that he was getting special perks.  It would take the wind out of most of the angry sails down there.

***

Jigen backed away from Lupin when he brought out the choker again.  "Come on, can't we force Xander into it?"

"Then she'll have to have kids to take it off her," Xander said from the couch in the corner.  Lupin had ordered him to come back and promised that he'd never try to put it on him without his permission, on penalty of being castrated.  "Do we really want me to go through that *again*?"

"No," Jigen admitted.  "You do it so much better though."

"And I had doubts about my gender, my sanity, and whether or not you only liked me because I had nice tits," Xander retorted.  "I started to forget how to be male, Jigen.  I'm a guy, I like having guy parts, and I like getting respect as a guy, which I never seemed to get except from my network.  Which I don't have anymore."

"Fine," Jigen groaned, taking the necklace from Lupin's fingers.  "What image?" he asked bitterly.

Lupin looked at him.  "Let's try for a brunette.  Ah, big breasts, something I would like usually.  He'll expect her to be someone I would go for."

Jigen shuddered and put it on himself, hitching the first clasp.  Then he took a big breath and pushed the last one together.  He winced as the change happened, then looked down at himself.  "I'm gonna tip over," he complained, starting to take it off.

"No, you're good," Xander told him, coming to walk around him.  "Very good posture.  We can work around shooting issues with those. They're modest actually.  Smaller than Sylvia's and Melody's."

"You really see them as individual people?" Lupin asked.  Xander nodded, continuing his scrutiny.  "Well, you've been here, what first?"

"Balance lessons," Xander said with a grimace.  "Your center of gravity is lower, your walk is going to be different, and that'll help with his shooting.  Plus we'll need to find him a hat."  Jigen gave him a grateful look.  "Plenty of women wear hats, Jigen, it won't look odd and it'll help you."  He gave him a hug.  "Don't worry, we'll work on you. You'll be comfy in two weeks since you don't have to do the fight training."  He headed back up to his room to get his diary from when he had changed, bringing it back down to the gym since Goemon was working with Jigen in there. "Here, it'll help some, believe me.  I wish I had something to look toward for answers."  Jigen gave him a grateful look.  "Remember, just a few weeks and you can take it off again.  We won't even push you to break you in," he promised with a grin.

"Not pretty enough anyway," he grumbled.

"Yeah, you are.  You're not model-pretty, but you are pretty," Xander assured him, looking him over.  "Roll your shoulders back, Jigen.  And come up with a name."

Jigen did as ordered, at least half of it.  "I can't get this."

"Fine, then let's do this my way," Xander said, helping her off the balance beam.  "Come on, let's get a room for the weekend.  Lupin can wait."  Jigen gave him an odd look.  "Trust me, it's easier without everyone and their brother staring at you, plus you'll need to do some shopping."  He walked him past Lupin.  "We'll be back."  He took his car, heading into Paris proper.  They were set up in a nice suite and Xander flopped down onto the couch.  "All right.  Practice walking in here, then we'll move to shoes.  You shouldn't need heels, and if you do, it'll make more sense to have chunky ones with your weak ankles."  Jigen nodded, practicing for now.  "Shoes off, dear.  Practice in your bare feet."  She kicked off her shoes and worked on it, getting into the rhythm of the swing she'd need to stay balanced. " Good.  Now let's try doing a more sultry one.  Slow it down a bit."  She slowed down, moving more smoothly.  "Now do it without watching your feet," he prompted with a grin.

"I'm staring at the tits, Xander.  I can't get past them."

"Yeah, I had that same feeling.  Wait until you try to shoot around them."  He got up and moved to pull her into his arms, startling her.  "Balance.  Work on it while we move."  He moved him around the room, dancing slowly.  Jigen smoothly followed along, finding his center of balance after a few minutes.  "See, a method to my madness does appear.  Tonight after dinner is shopping online for styles, then we'll pick out just enough clothes for the next two weeks."  He dipped her, making her squeal.  "Good job. That's a natural girl noise."  He got her back into it, making her smile at him.  "What?  I had a very good teacher for this part."  He let her go, spinning her off.  "Now go rest and read.  We'll do the shaving stuff tonight."  Jigen nodded, heading into her room.  Xander laid down on the couch again, getting comfortable in case she had any questions.  "I really should take this challenge too," he muttered, considering it.  He was probably prepared for anything Lupin had ever done in the past, but Xander was a new person and the same things wouldn't work on him.  If he could find an illusion strong enough he could go as Lupin and thereby save him.

"Don't even think about it," Jigen said from her doorway.  "I mean it, Xan."

"Sure, Jigen.  Just making contingency plans.  I'm gonna be nearby."  He grinned at her.  "Not tired?"

"Wondering how I'm supposed to shave the back of my legs."

"Two main ways.  Sitting on the toilet and doing them, or lying in a bath and raising them part of the way and doing it blind and by feel.  Your choice."

"What about that Nair stuff?"

"Burns sometimes, but you can do that," he agreed, hopping up.  "Let me get some for you tonight if you want.  For right now, go take a bath, get used to your body.  Play with it, learn its responses and how it likes to react to being teased.  You know that guy will hit on you."

Jigen nodded, going to do that.  It was a reasonable assumption since he always asked his victims to bring a woman with him.  It wouldn't do for him to get flustered when he got hard...or whatever women did.

***

Xander walked Jigen back inside, past the waiting Lupin.  "We are back.  We are heading down to the range after she changes.  She'll need to do laundry before she leaves."  He let Jigen's hand go, stepping back.  "Show them."  Jigen strolled past them, making Lupin's mouth drop.  "Different means of training."  He grinned.  "Now we're on to the more technical matters.  Go change into a t-shirt and pants, we'll be on the range."  He headed that way, taking off his t-shirt to run around bare-chested, just in case something else was around.  The housekeeper gave him a small leer and he smirked at her.  "Thanks, babe.  Got any steak?  Jigen's little sister could use one."

"Of course.  I'm making them for dinner," she assured him, going to pull them from the freezer.  "His sister?"

"Yeah.  We needed a woman and Jigen's sister agreed to come fill in while he went to take a short break."  Jigen joined him.  "This is Jigen's little sister, Jerry."  She waved.  "We're going to the range to make sure she's competent."  He led her off, locking them inside and taking down the camera so he could turn it toward the wall.  "There, now we won't have a nosy Lupin.  You did for me, now I do for you."  He handed over Jigen's usual gun.  "Much easier than mine was."

"It is," Jigen agreed, shifting his stance.  He remembered doing this for Xander so it only took him a few minutes to get used to firing around the breasts.  "This isn't so bad."

"You're three cup sizes smaller than I am, Jigen.  Of course not, they're not as much in the way," Xander said dryly.  "Seeing why I'm refusing now?"

"Yeah, I do," he sighed, turning to look at him.  "I'm sorry, Xander."

"It's all right, Jigen.  I didn't mind then.  I do now.  We'll work it out."  He gave him a hug then turned him back around.  "Back to work.  You wouldn't let me get mushy like that in here."

When Lupin came in an hour later, he was amazed.  Jigen was having a much easier time than Xander had.  "Wow.  What about the hat issue?"

"We've already got that solved," Xander offered.  "She's found a few that worked quite well and were exactly like her other hat."  He waved a hand.  "I am wonderful and will be watching of course."  He smirked and walked off.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "What did he do differently?"

"I remembered teaching him this stuff," Jigen admitted.  "So it was like parroting the moves."  He went back to his targets.  He had to be perfect again before they went.

***

Lupin got out of his car and walked around to hand Jigen out, smirking at her. "Ready?"

"Hell no."

"Well, here we go anyway," he noted, walking her up to the front door of the old castle.  He used the knocker on the old wooden door, then stepped back as the butler answered.  "I'm Lupin the Third. I'm expected."  The butler let them inside and they were shown into a small sitting room to wait on their hosts.

***

Back in his hotel room, Xander was listening as the gas flowed out and knocked them out, then he sighed in defeat, shaking his head.  "Fuck."  He listened as the person lifted them up and took them to a locked room, he could hear the lock engage in the quiet room.  The noises were loud in there so it must not be very muffled.  Not a lot of fabric or wood.  That meant it was probably a stone room.  He listened as the voice came over the loudspeaker, telling Lupin what his trial would be.  How he would be allowed one last night with his woman of choice and then he would be hunted.  If he won and killed everyone he could loot the castle and take the necklace. If not, then he was dead and his remains would be dropped in the Seine River in Paris to be found by Zenigata.

Xander stood up and looked down at himself, then groaned and shook his head.  "Not a choice," he muttered.  He looked at the velvet case on the bed, then at the extra bag he had thought he might need.  He heard the man say that Lupin's choice was an odd one, she didn't seem like his type, and then Lupin's smart remark that he had wanted to bring two, and could he bring his usual girl.  The man laughed and said to call her, he could have her when she got there.  That settled it, he grabbed the choker that had come across the realms and put it on, then went to shave and put on something pretty and useful, hiding her usual compliment of weapons on her.  By the time she was done looking like Dawn, kinda, it was dark and her motorcycle ride was a cool one.  The leather outfit did nothing for her figure, but it was cute and her figure didn't really need the help anyway.  He pulled up next to Lupin's car and brought the keys and his purse, boldly buckling his gun onto his waist and around his thigh, an old gunslinger's holster.  He walked up and the door opened, the butler looking shocked.  "Lupin called for me, sweetheart.  Show me to where my man is so I can help him."

"Women are not allowed on the course."

She laughed and disabled him, then kicked the door shut.  "Bet me."  She strolled on, finding the office easily enough.  It had the biggest, shiniest doors in the place.  She walked inside.  "Lupin called for me."

"Women aren't allowed on our course."

She pulled her gun and wounded him.  "Yay.  Where he goes, I go.  Probable death or not.  You can have Jerry.  Now, where is he?"

"He's expecting you to die for him."

She leaned down.  "I've killed for him before, do you want to be the next one?"  He gulped and shook his head.  "Then let's get this over with, okay?  You're messing up my 'me' time tonight.  I had planned on a long bubble bath."  He nodded and stood up, holding his arm as he led her up the stairs.  "By the way, those are low gunpowder bullets.  Less cleaning needed," she said with a smirk as she walked inside.  "Honey, I'm back."  She glared at him.  "I warned you this was a trap, did you listen, no!  I should throw a massive hissy and demand a really impressive gift for saving your ass again."  She sat down, crossing her legs daintily.  "How long do we have before we run through them tomorrow?  Jerry, honey, take a nap.  I have no doubt you're going to be tied to a big door tomorrow."  Jigen swallowed and laid down, curling up under the blankets.

"Honey, I'm sorry," Lupin said quietly, glancing around.

She waved a hand.  "Not the first time.  Don't worry, I am better."  She stood up and walked over to kiss him, making him moan. "I'm still not sleeping with you, Lupin the Third," she hissed, nipping him on the tip of the nose.  "Never again in this body."  She walked over to look out the lone window, staring at the woods.   They had walls around them.  There were guards on top of it.  They were halfway to the middle of nowhere, no one would hear any gunshots.  He checked his weapons stashed around his body, then nodded, turning to him.  "Got extra bullets?"  He shook his head so she rolled her eyes and tossed over a box from her purse.  "There."

"He said to only bring one clip."

"Well he didn't tell me not to bring you extra," she said dryly.  She suddenly smirked at him.  "You know I'm gonna have you in that thing eventually, right?"  Lupin swallowed and sat on the end of the bed, staring at her.  "It's the only way you'll ever understand, Lupin."  She crossed her arms as the door opened and another butler walked in with a rolling tray.  "Food?  Drugged?"  He shook his head.  "Then we'll let poor Jerry taste it for us."  He backed away.  "What?"

"We expected you to be having sex by now," he noted. "The food is to encourage that."

"I only have sex to celebrate a victory," Xander said with a cold smirk.  "Otherwise it's a waste of a good opportunity to scream."  He swallowed and backed away as she strolled closer.  "Besides, food and sex don't really mix in my book," she said in her best 'come hither' voice.  "It masks the natural scent of my lovers.  Why would I want to do that?"  She gave him a little smirk and he ran out of the room, locking them in again.  She lifted the lid, sniffing it.  "Something is off with the oysters.  They don't smell like the sea."

"They could be old," Lupin offered as he came over. "Thanks, Xan," he whispered.

Xander kissed him then grinned. "This is where I belong, my man."  He picked up a piece of chocolate, licking it then grimacing.  "Eww.  That is not how chocolate is supposed to taste."  He put it back down.  "How about some non-drugged food?  Huh?"  She went back to sit down again. "You should probably rest, Lupin.  It's gonna be a long morning."  He nodded, curling up on top of the blankets next to Jigen's sleeping form.  Xander let himself go into a light doze, all he ever allowed himself outside of a warded, locked, room with a guardian nearby.  That's why he threw the knife at the man who entered to get the tray.  "Sorry."  He got up and pulled it out.  "Hmm, my aim was off.  Have to work on that tomorrow."  He drug him into the hall and then the cart, going down to fix his own meal.  The first butler gave him a horrified look.  "I hate drugged food."

"Women such as you are not supposed to exist!" he said angrily, pointing at her.  "You are no woman!"

She undid her top, showing him her breasts.  "Don't they look real?"  He blanched and whimpered. "I'm a fucking woman, thank you very much," she said bitterly.  "Some of us are just better than the little mice that men like you want our women to be.  I can guarantee you that the first man who tries to control my life dies by my hand as I remove his testicles piece by tiny piece."  He backed away and she turned, backhanding the man behind her.  "None of that.  I don't play grabass with anyone but Lupin and Jigen."  She went to the fridge and made some sandwiches, taking it and the iced tea upstairs.  "Thanks for this, guys.  Next time, don't use drugs.  It's not usually necessary."  He kicked the door shut and locked it again for them so they didn't have to come up and bother them.  She set things out on the table against the wall, then hit herself on the head.  "Hey, send some glasses," she told the camera. "I forgot them.  The kids and I only drink out of bottles these days."  The butler brought up a tray with glasses.  "Thanks, man."

"You have children?"

"I'm the mother of Arsene Lupin the Fourth," she said smugly.  "Of course I do."  He gave her a long look. "Yes, this body has given birth."  She ran a hand over her stomach. "It's amazing what jogging will do for one's body.  Huh?"  He handed over the glasses and backed out.  "Thanks, give us an hour before we have to go down there.  We all take forever in the showers."  He nodded, locking them in again.  She pushed her hairpin back in her hair then sniffed the glasses, taking a careful lick of one.  Hmm, didn't taste like it was clean.  She took them into the bathroom to clean them again, taking the opportunity to go to the bathroom as well.  She knew there were probably drugs in here too.  It'd be stupid to let them walk out to the course.  Fortunately she had a high tolerance anymore.  She came back out, getting some iced tea for herself and sitting down to stare outside some more.  This was worrying her.

***

Xander took off her blindfold when the whistle blew, then ducked an arrow being shot at her.  She growled and lunged for the stupid human, letting it all go again.  Lupin had her back and he was more than ready to take on some other threats.

Lupin pushed down the urge to hurt her, but let it go.  "Xan, back down.  Guard me.  I have to solve this."

She looked at him.  "There's fifty-six people out here that I counted filing out earlier.  You want to do what?"

He grimaced. "It's my challenge."

"He fired an arrow at me!  I'm gonna kick their asses!"  Lupin took a step back. "Fine, honey, you stay here.  Let me do this."  She rolled her eyes and walked over a body.

"Now I know why you hate doing this stuff.  You're tougher than Lavelle here," he said dryly, glaring at her back.

She turned to face him, then crossed her arms over her chest.  "What a shock!  Do you know what female hitters have to go through just to get a damn job?"  He slowly shook his head.  "Feel fucking lucky.  Even your daughter's going to have to put up with sexual harassment, having to prove she's more than a set of breasts and a twat, and then having to probably kill at least one boss for trying to slip up on her payments because she's a little woman who can't possibly know anything about money matters.  Don't believe me, go find another one and ask them.  I *earned* every bit of respect I've ever gotten, Lupin.  I earned it without you, without Jigen, and without anyone else's help.  If I'm a flaming bitch, then it was necessary 'cause some of us didn't sleep our way to the top."  His mouth fell open and he stared at her.  "Got me here? That's why I hate doing this shit.  But at least I get respect this way from people other than my own."  She strolled off.  "Which way back to the fucking castle?"

"Behind us," Lupin said, clearing his throat.  "I had no idea, Xan.  I'm sorry."  She walked past him and he caught her arm, looking in her eyes.  "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because it would ruin what little respect I got from you and Jigen," she spat.  "I'm not your sex toy.  No matter how much I like it, I'm not and that's what I became."  She got free.  "I'm a fucking gunman and thief in my own right, Lupin, and I deserve my respect.  Even from you.  I had to out myself and do better than you ever had to get any from you.  That was the meaning of the crying jag in London that time."  She pulled her gun and hit the person coming toward them in the side, making them howl.  "Good."  She looked at him again, then flipped her hair back.  "It's amazing what I had to do to be considered a partner and an equal."  She walked off, heading up to take care of more of the idiots bothering her this morning.

Lupin stared at her back.  "Okay, so I was wrong."  He followed her, shooting a few she was only wounding.  "You really don't want to kill them?"

"Wounding shows more skill.  I only want to kill the fucker who's pulling this crap."

Lupin jogged to catch up again, stopping her. "You had my respect long before then, Xander.  You had it for being able to do this shit so well in addition to the impossible things we had expected of you.  You do more than Jigen and Goemon skill wise.  You do more than I do in a monetary way.  You hold the house together, help us all, and make things go smoother.  You had our respect, even if we never showed you."  She relaxed. "Now, let's go get the other one and celebrate.  Even if you won't wear that for me."  He grinned. "Good?"

"Excellent idea.  Wound or kill?"

"Either's fine with me as long as they can't come back later."  He let her go, stepping back.  "You're a wonderful thief.  I couldn't do that tower job like you did.  Hell, I couldn't do the Imperial job you did a few days ago either," he said with a grin.  "I've had my people watching you again.  One of them saw you changing it out.  What's my cut this time?"

"Twenty percent of the worth.  I was having someone make sure it was the real one so I had a matched set.  I'll cut you a check later."  They each fired at a target coming out of the woods, taking them out.  "Castle?"

"Castle," he agreed.  He grinned and kissed her.  "I missed the tits, Xan, but I loved the rest of you no matter what."  He pinched her on the ass as he jogged past her.  "Did you take that from Dawn?"

"Yeah," she agreed.  "I thought since she wasn't using it anymore," she admitted with a grin, heading after him.  "Remind me again why I liked heels?"

"Because they made your legs look wonderful," he reminded her.

"Oh, yeah."  She shrugged and kept up, taking the rear guard position as they went through the woods.  There was a line at the gate, a firing squad pointing at Jigen's bound body.  "Turkey shoot?"

"Fish shoot," he corrected, taking out the leader while Xander did her neat little teleport thing to get Jigen out of harm's way by knocking her down.  Then they got the group as they ran.  Lupin came over to help undo Jigen, handing her Xander's spare gun and the hat he found on the ground.  "Here we go.  Any other plans?"

"These shoes let out a small dot of C-4 each time I hit a switch with my toes.  Enough to set off a squib-like explosion.  There are a few of them in the castle."

"Cool."  Lupin grinned at her.  "After you, my dear lady.  Jigen, take rear guard."

"Fine.  Can I get out of this stupid dress now?"

"Did you remember to wear anything underneath?"

"He took the bike shorts."

Xander looked back at her.  "If you want, I'll let you have my catsuit.  I've got spandex on underneath."  Jigen gave him a horrified look.  "It's not a dress."

"It's nearly as bad!"

"You can have the spandex I have underneath then.  It's the cotton-lycra stuff I wear for workouts."

"Maybe once we've stormed the castle," she grumbled, heading after them.  "I am never putting this thing on again," he complained.

"Fine," Lupin agreed.  "I agree, Xander does it better."

"True," Xander agreed, grinning back at Jigen.  "Now you see part of the point?"  Jigen nodded hard.  "Good girl."  He grinned and set off the switch to make the C-4 dots explode, making the door fall inward.  "Eww, I made it too strong.  I'm guessing the door to the office was blown off too.  Oops, sorry, Lupin."

"Not an issue, Xan."  They walked inside, taking out whatever came at them.  "This is why you respect women, stupid humans," he called.  "Women are the more dangerous sex!"

"Damn right," Xander agreed, taking out the butler she had hit last night.  Then the boss came down the hallway with a sword and she handed Jigen her gun, pulling her katana off her back.  She faced off with him but he sneered. "Hey, I took lessons from Goemon too."

"Yes, but my challenge was for your mate, young lady.  Let him."

"Fine."  She handed over the sword with a shrug, then stepped out of the way.  "After you, honey, but save me his balls so I can cut those off."

"Sure, if I leave him living that long," Lupin agreed, heading to face off with him while the others got any remaining guards who came up to bother them.  It had been a long time since Goemon had taught him anything but his grip was good and comfortable.  The man lunged and he blocked, then parried, then did a blind thrust to test him.  The guy was much better.

"Dear, whip his ass and I might give you a blowjob without the top on tonight," Xander offered.  Jigen looked at her.  "I'm not letting anyone closer than that, thank you.  Janus likes me a bit too much and he wants another kid."

"Oh, hell no!" Jigen said firmly.  "Get me out of this thing."  Xander gave him a look so he sighed and took it off, becoming his usual self.  The man with them gave him a horrified look and dropped his sword, then backed away.

"Okay, that's a yield, I get him now to avenge all the women he's raped and then killed as soon as their escorts were dead."  She picked up the sword and tossed it to him, taking the one Lupin handed off.  "Now, asshole.  You've earned an asskicking from a woman for all the women you've hurt.  Lupin, go get the office, dear."

"Sure."  He tugged on Jigen's arm, getting him out of the way as their gracious host faced off against Xander.

"Are you like him?  I noticed the necklaces look the same," he said.

Xander shrugged.  "On occasion."  She took her first move and he winced but blocked it, then Xander went on to kick his ass properly, giving him a lot of painful little cuts until she opened his throat.  Then as he laid there gasping, she cut off his more delicate parts.  "There, now that's a proper ending for someone who rapes women."  She wiped off her sword and went to find Jigen and Lupin.  "Man, Jigen, you really need to shave your legs."  She took off her choker and shook out her hair, pulling down the hairpins to hand one to Lupin since he was patting himself down for a pick. "Try that."  Lupin gave him a funny look.  "Useful, huh?"

"Very."  He picked the lock on the desk drawer.  He could see the metal wires running through the glass front of the drawer and the necklace behind them.  He also heard a click and grabbed it, then ran with them outside, the necklace clutched in his hand as the castle started to explode around them.  He dove into his car, pulling out his keys and starting it, pulling out after Xander.  The debris still hit them, and a piece knocked Jigen out, but they would be fine.  He stopped at the bottom of the private driveway to look back, then relaxed.  Xander pulled up beside him.  "You okay?"

"Fine."  She pulled her gun, pointing it at him. "Good thing he's such a negative personality, huh?"

Lupin looked at him, then snickered.  "Xander, possession?  Can't you have the hyena eat him?"  The man's eyes went wide and he grabbed his head as a growl sounded in his ears.  Then Xander shook his head and picked up his gun, putting it away.  "You normal?"

"Sure, why?  The soldier wanted some target practice.  He's pissed at me and the hyena thinks I don't hunt enough for my pack.  Home?"

"Sure.  You don't have to blow me that way you know."  He leaned up, getting a kiss from him.  "Thanks, babe."

"Welcome."  He kicked his bike into life, roaring off.  "See you at home!"

"Thanks," he called after him, heading off after him.  "He looks really good in that outfit as a guy."  He headed after the bike, stopping to get Goemon and Marcus from town.   Marcus was talking with Bix and one of the kids, but he sounded quite happy.   "Weren't listening?"

"No, not really," Marcus admitted. "Master had the headphones."

Goemon looked at Lupin in the rearview mirror.  "It was quite enlightening.  I'll be confiscating the chokers again as soon as we get home."

"Leave one," Lupin ordered.  "Take the one Jigen's got on.  Did we bring him any clothes?"

"In the trunk," Goemon reminded him.  "Someone on the bulletin board wanted you to say whether or not you had survived."

"Only because Xan was with us," Jigen complained, opening his eyes.  "I do have clothes?"

"In the trunk.  Xander packed them."

"Pull over, let me change," Jigen ordered.  Lupin did so with a smirk, but he didn't care.  He wanted man clothes again.  He handed off the choker with a grunt of annoyance, then stripped off behind the car and grabbed his bag.  He found his suit and nothing else.  "Damn it, he forgot the boxers again."

"I believe there was a reason for that," Marcus said happily once his phone was back in his pocket.  "He said you'd want the obvious reminder of being a man again.  That's why he picked out the softest pants he could."

"Oh."  Jigen put them on, then his shirt, tie, jacket, and hat.  His shoes were in the trunk by themselves so he put them on too.  He closed the trunk after stuffing the dress in there, then got back into his usual seat.  He shifted as soon as the car took off, understanding now.  These pants were rubbing him with the silk they were made of.  He definitely felt like  a man now.

***

Lupin pounced Xander, kissing him hard.  "You are fucking amazing, Xander."  He kissed him again, then moved down to play with the hard throat. "You amaze me each and every time you do something like this.   I couldn't hope to do what you do."

"You're laying it on a bit thick," he moaned, letting his lover take control of his pleasure this time.  He wasn't so frantic with need tonight so maybe it would only go once.  He felt his clothes being removed but his blindfold was keeping him unaware of nearly everything else. "Convention this weekend," he groaned, arching up into the teasing hands.  "Dick tease."

"I am not," Lupin said with a smirk for him.  He continued to stroke Xander, knowing that this was going to make him come faster.  That meant that Lupin could wear him out tonight.  He had finally figured out what would wear his man out!   Well, besides a viagra high and there being two of them and a few toys.  One day he was going to beat Anya for doing this to him.  He had a sudden thought and looked up.  "You won't be getting him back, Anya," he hissed.  "Release him."  Xander went limp and he smirked, going back to pleasing him.  "Back among the normally sexed?"

"Hmm.  What did she do?"

"She turned you into a damn incubus to get you back."  He kissed him again, making his lover moan into his mouth. "Like it?"

"A lot."  He shifted his legs apart so his lover could get whatever he wanted.  Now that the need wasn't quite so frantic, he could get used to this.  Lupin chuckled as he moved down to play with his stomach and lower, making Xander wiggle.  "Arsene!"

Lupin smirked up at him.  "I like how you're the only one who uses my name and it's always in a moan."  He played with the hard cock, gently stroking it for now, making Xander swear and move his hips up as far as he could.  "Trust me?"

"Most of the time."

"Not all the time?" he asked with a hint of fake pout.

"Nope, sorry, I don't even trust myself all the time."  Xander rubbed his head until the blindfold moved.  "Sorry, babe."

"Not an issue, I wouldn't trust either if I were you."  He kissed him and put the blindfold back down.  "Naughty."

"Why are you still dressed?"

"Because I'm nowhere near ready to take you past this stage," he admitted, leaning down to kiss him again.  "Let me play, Xander, I need to play this time."

"Gotcha.  Go ahead and play.  I make a wonderful playground."

"Yes, you do," Lupin went back to his playing, barely able to feel the scars that Xander hid under whatever illusion he kept on himself.  "Can you take that off?"  Xander shook his head.  "No?"

"Nope, sorry, they're disgusting to look at."

"I'm not."

"I am."

"Yeah, but you're blindfolded."  Xander sighed and released one of his hands, taking off the small charm that hid all his scars.  Then he put his hand back into the soft cuff, letting Lupin hitch him back up.  "Thank you, Xan."  He looked over the hard body, tracing a few of them with a gentle fingertip.  "They're not any worse than ritual tattoos.  I know Goemon has one of those somewhere that he covers up carefully each morning."  He kissed one on Xander's chest, over his heart.  "Hmm, smell musky.  I should gather your sweat and bottle it."  He licked over a few more, making Xander shiver.  "Sorry, bothering you?  I could feel them before but I haven't gotten a good look at them.  They're not as disgusting as I remembered."  Xander worked his blindfold free again to look at him.  "They're not."

Xander looked down at himself, raising a thigh to look at the marks on it.  "What the hell!  That's not what's supposed to be on there!"  It changed, becoming the normal one.  "Gee, thanks!  Really, didn't need one for sexual frenzy."

"Hate ta tell ya, Xan, but that one's on the back of your shoulder," Lupin said, moving him to trace it back that one.  "There."

"Oh."  He grimaced and then shrugged.  "Explains a few things.  Can you please quit teasing?  I know you earned a reward, but really."

Lupin smirked and put the blindfold back into place. "Let me play or I'm gonna pout, Xander."

"Fine, but can you play a bit harder?  Please?"

"Where's the fun in that?"  He worked over his lover's body, making sure he touched each and every single mark, even the few that made Xander hiss in remembrance.  Then he turned the touches and tracings into a gentle rub, playing with his warm skin, watching as it moved back into place after his hands moved on.  Xander shivered under his hands so he moved on, back to his teasing touches.  He found a new mark in his pubic hair and traced it, making Xander come off the bed with a shout.  "Sorry, won't touch that again."

"No, not an old one," he panted. "New!  Damn it!"

"Shh, let me look," Lupin pleaded.  "What did it feel like?"

"Like a warm tongue just went up my spine.  Trace that for me?"

"Anything."  He parted the hair and traced what he could, finding a dot at the end, that's what set Xander off.  "Hmm.  Recognize it?"

"No, but can you help me shave tomorrow so I can figure that one out?"

"Sure, my pleasure," he agreed with a grin.  A shaved Xander was a horny Xander.  "Jigen said you did just the right thing, making him walk around with a hardon for hours yesterday."

"I know I always needed something like that the first few times.  Can you maybe, kinda, move again?"  Lupin chuckled and licked across the head of the hard cock, tasting the flavor getting ready to explode.  "Can you do more of that?"

"Xander, I wanna play."

"Arsene, if you play much more, I'm gonna blow on your face and then I'll be tired."

"Hmm."  He stripped himself and laid on top of his lover, kissing him hard.  "If I asked, would you join with me again?" he whispered, tracing his finger over top of a scar again, making Xander shiver.  "Please?"

"You know my body is open for your pleasure."

"Not that way, Xander.  I meant the other way.  Like in a permanent and meaningful manner."

"Oh.  That."  He sighed and worked the blindfold off again, looking at him.  "Are you sure?  You didn't seem so sure last time."

Lupin kissed him. "I was a dumbass last time, now I know what to expect so I know what I did wrong.  It'll be fine this time.  I won't ignore you.  You won't get to play with the kitsune again because I'm ignoring you.  You'll be mine, all mine."  He grinned.  "Without the possessive overtones except where people leer at you and want your ass."

"Jigen?" Xander panted, liking what the hands were doing now.  A brush from a hairy thigh added to his pleasure, making him let out a soft moan.

"I could admit him if he wanted.  I'm certainly not going to keep him from you if he wanted and you wanted.  I know you two are close.  I'll even let you go tease Ethan now and then to get stuff off him, like that potion."

"He'd do it anyway," Xander whined.  The hand and thigh came back and he was starting to have that floating feeling again.  "I know he would.  It's just a tease between us anymore."

"I know, but I'd let you figure out whatever you wanted with him, as long as you told me."

"You're not brainless, it's not fair."

"Just think about it, Xander.  You don't have to answer right now," Lupin promised, kissing him again.  He put the blindfold back down and moved to straddle the firm, younger body.  "Leave that blindfold in place, young man, or else we might have to play a game later where I get to put you over my knee and spank you in a fun and sexual way."

"No thanks."

"Hmm.  Not even for pleasure?"

"That's not something I'd feel pleasure from, Arsene."

"Okay, just suggesting," he agreed quickly.  "Sorry."

"It's okay, but can you go back to making me mindless again?"

"Of course."  Lupin kissed him, using every skill he had to take Xander's mind back to the place he wanted it to go.  This is why he loved Xander, he was willing to be there for him through nearly anything, even when they had minor fights.  He moved backwards to taste him again, and Xander came from just that, proving that he adored him.  Lupin cleaned him up and got him onto his side, working on him while he continued to tease the tighter body.  "I wish he'd hurry up.  I want to be your age again and I want you to take some too."

"But ...."

"No buts.  I want you to take some too, Xander.  You deserve it just as much as we did.  This time you're taking the potion too."  He used two fingers to spread the lube inside his willing victim's body, making him shiver and press back against him.  "Nearly there, hold on," he soothed, like he would to the kids when they were waking up from a nightmare.  "Just hold on, I'm nearly in there."  He switched up to three fingers, then gave it up and worked his way inside slowly.  Xander never minded if he wasn't stretched fully, as long as he was gentle with him.  He finally buried himself completely inside him and let out a moan of his own while he pulled his boyfriend closer.  "There, I like that."

"Me too, more?" Xander pleaded.  "Please, more.  Please, Arsene."

"Shh, of course I'm doing more," he soothed, pulling out to stroke back inside.  Xander was vibrating under his fingers and he liked him like that.  He had missed this part of their sex life, where Xander was the desperate one instead of him.  He really liked his lovers to be more desperate than he was, it made it more fun for him when he did things like pause and make them come back down.  Xander let out a swear and wiggled but he had him held tightly against his body and the younger man couldn't move.  "Calm down, let it happen," he soothed, stroking his stomach.  His fingers found their way down to that mark again, making Xander let out a 'fuck' and arch back against him.  Lupin let him as he played with it again, then Xander went limp and he went back to stroking him.  "Want me to move on?"

"I'm going to blow you most of the way and leave you like that in a magical cock ring," Xander threatened.

"Now, now, that's not nice.  I'm gonna give you what you want.  You're going to have it," he promised, starting to move slowly again, deep, slowly, firm thrusts that were driving Xander insane.  He was trying hard to make him speed up but Lupin had other ideas.  "Calm down or I'm going to stop again."  Xander let him do it and he was happy about that.  "Now, trust me, I'm going to give you all the pleasure you want.  You know that, right?"  Xander whimpered.  "Out loud, Xan?"

"Yes, you will this time."

"Good boy."  He worked him a bit faster, playing with his cock again too.  Xander let out a moan and came quietly this time, and Lupin licked a few beads of sweat off the tanned shoulder.  "Can I go on or are you still floating?"

"There's more?"

"Of course, there's always more," Lupin promised, starting again, making sure he varied things this time.  A few shallow, then a long and hard one all the way inside, then a few of the more rocking ones once he was buried in him again.  Xander was going insane under his hands, and he let him, giving him everything he had this time.  He deserved it and he wanted Xander to know that he would always take good care of him.  He finally felt him get off a third time, even though nothing further came out, and came himself, buried inside him as far as he could go.  He licked the tanned, slumped shoulder then let Xander go and took off his blindfold, kissing him at the same time.  "See, I like doing that."

"Me too," Xander agreed tiredly, pulling him down on top of him.  "Rest.  Not even I can get up now."

"Hmm.  I'll have to remember that."  He snuggled in, comfortable on the flat chest.

"Daddy, did you call for me?" his daughter called from the doorway.

"Arsene Lupin the Fourth, I'm going to paddle you in the morning," Xander called.  "You know we're not."

"Ooops."  She ran off, going back to her bed to hide.

"I'm going to break her of that habit yet," he said as firmly as he could.  Lupin chuckled against his neck and he yawned.  "Thanks, babe.  I loved that."

"You're welcome, Xander.  Sleep.  I'll blow you in the morning if I'm up first."  Xander nodded, curling up on his side to get as close as possible.  Lupin stroked his back, smiling as his lover fell asleep.  "I was serious and I'll get your answer tomorrow, love.  You'll take it back and I'll be your favorite playground again."  He yawned and closed his eyes, drifting off to join him in good dreams.

Jigen walked into the nursery and picked Arsene up, looking into her eyes.  "Stop that now, before your parents have to throw a fit," he warned quietly.  "It's not funny, cute, or amusing anymore."  She nodded timidly.  "Thank you."  He tucked her back in then went back to his own room.  Lupin had asked for them to spend the night alone tonight and he had granted it.  He and Xander needed to spend some time alone since Jigen still wasn't sure he could be fully with them again.  He had figured out some things while he had been in the tub.  Being a woman for a few days made it more permissible for him to explore the more submissive sides of his personality, but it also reminded him that being taken didn't necessarily mean being submissive.  Xander had ridden Lupin into a near-coma more nights than not recently.  He often took the dominant role in bed, even in female form.  Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to let them have him again.  That one morning Xander had used his fingers wasn't too bad.

***

The next morning Xander blatantly took Arsene out of the dining room and into 'his' room in the house, the room where he worked on his nefarious schemes and did his playing, the range.  He locked them in and frowned down at her.  "Arsene, I'm very disappointed in you," he started.  She sighed and hung her head.  "Not only was that a very wrong thing to do last night, but it did not make us happy.  The only good thing I could see was that you waited until we were done to try and interrupt.  Now, we are going to have a talk about your mouth and its problems, young lady, or you are going to find yourself grounded to this house magically for the next year.  No conventions, no thefts, no trips, nothing.  Do you understand me?"  She gave him a hurt look and he snorted.  "I'm not buying it, Arsene, it was a calculated move last night. You're not hurt.  You're annoying."  She broke out into tears.  "That's about how we feel sometimes too," he assured her.  She clung to him, crying on him.  "Are you not getting enough attention?  Are we ignoring you? Is that why you're doing this?"

She shook her head. "No.  I don't want more babies and I'm the first."

He patted her on the head. "Dear, you're still the fourth.  You were the third born."  He picked her up to hold her.  "I'm not planning on adding any more kids to the house, Arsene, but I also can't allow this behavior to go on.  There's a time and a place to be annoying, and it's not when your father and I are spending some very rare free time together."  She pulled back to look at him.  "Do you think we don't have things to do all day?"  She shook her head.  "Well, we do.  Half the time I'm not reading for fun, I'm reading to improve my skills.  The same as your father manages a world-wide network of spies, thieves, assassins, and others.  Including a dentist, which reminds me that I need to have someone check you guys over soon."  He made a mental note and got back to it.  "Even your Uncle Jigen has things to do all day, Arsene, and we need time without the kids.  You guys are trying all our patiences this week.  Every last one of you have done it on purpose too.  If this is about not wanting to add more kids to the household, then assure the others that we don't want it either.  I don't need more kids, I've got ten of you and another coming."

"Didn't you want us, Mommy?" she asked quietly.

"Sweetheart, am I in female form?"  She shook her head.  "Then you can call me daddy, like you do the other two."

"Sorry, daddy.  It's just that you've always been the mommy.   You do the mommy things, even when you're a daddy.  Besides, if we called out 'daddy' and all three of you turned, how would you know which one we wanted?"

"You attach a first name to that," he said dryly.  "I'm still not the mother, Arsene.  I'm a guy, I'm staying a guy no matter how many times I turned into a girl before."

"You didn't like being a girl?" she asked.

"Arsene, that's something you won't understand until you're much older," he sighed.  "When you're a teenager, I'll let you try on the choker for a few days so you can understand how mind ripping the experience is.  Your daddy Jigen is still working through his and he only spent three weeks in the thing."  She nodded, putting her head down again.  "Now, we will not see a repeat of this last week's performances again, will we?"  She shook her head.  "At all?"  She shook her head again.  "And nothing similar is coming, correct?"

"No, mo...daddy. We have been pains in the ass.  We're sorry that we do so much to bother you."

"Sweetheart, you're not really bothering me, but you're making it impossible for me to calm down each day.  You take away what little free time I have to myself by doing things like calling out last night."  She nodded, clutching him harder.  "I suppose that you can count the fact that you chose the exact moment to implement your plan was good, you had excellent timing, but it still sucked that you did it to us.  You're supposed to irritate the cops and your marks, not your parents.  We'll get enough of that when you're a teenager for no other reason than you'll be a teenager."  She giggled weakly.  "Do you understand?  I don't mind the normal stuff, the nightmares and the feedings, I do mind what you did last night and how Melissa and Sierra have been trying so hard to keep our attention.  It's not necessary, sweetie.  We adore you guys and nothing is going to change that, even if we do have to spend more time with Goemon's baby than with you for a few weeks, it doesn't mean we're tossing you over for the new baby."

"I understand, I know new babies take a lot of work, but we wanted to make sure that you wanted us."

"If we hadn't wanted you, you'd have been sent to a boarding school before we got back here, Arsene," he said dryly.  "Trust me, you would have.  If only because it would have helped your social skills so you knew how to do things around normal people."  She gave him another squeeze.  "Now, are we gonna have to have this talk ever again?"  She shook her head.  "You're sure?"

"I'm sure, daddy.  I'm sorry we've been beasts this last few weeks."

"That's fine, Arsene, but I won't accept it happening again.  For any reason."  She nodded and he kissed the top of her head.  "Come on, I wanted some breakfast and you need to finish yours before you start your lessons for the day."

"Will they like us at school, daddy?" she asked pitifully.

"See, that's one of the things you'll be learning, how to get along with normal people and how to make friends.  You guys pretty muchly had to be friends since you were raised together, but this way you'll have a whole school full of people who've never met you, don't know much about you, and who you work your charm on.  If they like you or not is up to you, daughter."

"Yes, daddy.  I'm gonna try really hard."

"Good. That would be a nice change."  He set her down and swatted her gently.  "Come on, let's eat."

"Yes, daddy."  She took his hand and walked back inside with him, taking her place to eat.  "Daddy, can I help you manage your empire today?" she asked, looking at her father.

"Why should I reward your behavior last night?"

"Because daddy said I was never going to do it again," she assured him.  "He told me how bad it was."

Lupin looked at Xander, who nodded.  "We did come to an understanding about her grounded state for the next year, magically, if she ever did it again.  Plus, I explained it to her."

"Good.  Then if it ever happens again, she can spend six weeks out in the guest house without any contact with anyone up here."  Xander scowled at him.  "Except for meals," he noted.  Xander shook his head subtly.  "And from us," he added to ease the look.

"Yes, daddy."

"Thank you," Lupin agreed.  "I guess you can help me in the office today.  Melissa can as well if she wants.  Ishi can help Jigen or Xander since his own father's tied up this morning and Marcus isn't back from housesitting yet.  Lotus, you can work on your basic skills, then do the drills for the others this time."  She beamed at him.  "Then everyone has to do another three lessons in each book."  They groaned.  "Hey, it's a pain but we have things we have to do too."

"Remind me to find them a dentist to look them over," Xander said casually.  Jigen gave him an odd look.  "They haven't been yet and I'm worried about braces and things.  It's better to stop it at this age than it is to have to do braces in ten more."

"I guess it would be," Jigen agreed.  "We can let Bix do that."

"No, they're our kids, we can do that," Xander said firmly.  Jigen and Lupin both stared at him in shock.  "Arsene, tell them what you told me."

"About...."

"Why you still call me the mommy."

"Because you do all the mommy things," Ishi told them all, shrugging.  "He always has.  Even as a guy he still does the mommy things.  He takes us to all our appointments, he takes care of us when we're sick, he makes sure we eat.  All that mothering stuff."

"I'd still rather be called the father, Ishi," Xander said calmly.  "I'm not going to be female for a very long time and I've noticed I'm getting funny looks because of that name. For some reason, everyone seems to expect me to suddenly break out in femme behavior and I'm not.  You're ruining my rep, guys."

"Sorry," they said, looking at each other.

"Is daddy still okay?" Savannah asked.

"Sure, it's a great name, love.  I love that one.  I wear it proudly."  She grinned at him. "Can we agree on that?"

"What about us?" Ishi asked.

"Well...." he sighed.  "I have not a clue, Ishi, man.  You guys have an excellent father but he'd probably be upset if you started to call me 'dad' too.   So I'll leave that with you."  Ishi nodded, giving him a sideways look and Xander switched to Russian, which Ishi was forcing himself to learn.  "Hey, outside is something different.  Training is not in here," he said quietly.  Ishi nodded, stronger this time, and dug into his breakfast.  Xander looked at Lupin, then at Jigen.  "Problems?"

"No," Lupin admitted. "Not a one. I had no idea it bothered you or I would have talked to them about it sooner."  He winced when he heard the crash upstairs.  "Sounds like Fujiko's throwing a fit again."

"Isn't the baby ready to come?" Lotus asked the room at large.  Ishi looked at her. "I'm sorry, brother, but I can't take that anymore.  She's driving me insane and I can't stand this!  She's hurting father and I won't have it!"  She tossed down her fork and stomped off.

Everyone looked at Xander and he stared back.  "That's for her father to talk to her about and I'll be chatting with Goemon later," he told them all.  They went back to eating, not looking at him.  It wasn't like he could explain someone else's emotions to her.  It was about her father and her father should field that one.  He finally got up and went to find Goemon, having a quiet word with him in the nursery.  "Lotus is very upset with her mother," he said, standing next to him while he changed Kenji's diaper.  "She wanted to know if it wasn't nearly time so they could send her away so she'd quit hurting you."

"What did you tell her?"

"I'm leaving that up to you.  It's your emotions and your relationship.  It's got to come from you."  Goemon gave him a look.  "I'm not her mother, Goemon."

"True, you are not," he agreed calmly, knowing what Xander was saying.  "Where is she?"

"In her room I think.  If not she's in mine."  He left him there, taking Kenji downstairs.  "He's went to talk to Lotus, he'll be down shortly."  He sat the baby on his lap, letting him wave and babble at the others.  Alex was in the carrier beside Lupin's chair so they didn't have to double-up on child care first thing in the morning.  "Look who's up," he cooed, straightening the baby's hair.  "Yes, we were messy for the daddy this morning but we're a happy baby now."

"Yeah, we are," Jigen agreed.  "Want me to take him?"

"Sure, if you want."  Xander carefully handed him down to Ishi, who gave him a kiss then handed him to Jigen.  "Thanks, babe."

"Welcome, Xan."  Jigen let the baby gum on some of his scrambled eggs, even letting him grab them off the plate if he wanted.  He waited until Xander had gone again to look at Lupin.  "You know, sometimes I think it's a similar job to raise them all," he said quietly.

Lupin looked at him, then nodded. "It is.  I'm just happy we got that far."  He shrugged and held out his hands.  "Want me to take him so he doesn't slobber on all your breakfast?"

"No, I'm good with him," Jigen admitted.  He looked at the kids staring at them.  "There will be no more children in this house after this last one," he said firmly. "If one of you girls decides to have some when you're an adult, then that's on you.  We'll be grandparents."   He ate another bite of breakfast, leaving it at that.

Lupin smirked at him.  "So transparent," he hissed.

"Bite me."

"Later.  During the nap time," he promised with a smug smirk.

"Only if you're napping too," Jigen quipped.  "Remember, I only let Xander do that."

"Hmm.  We'll have to make him nap with us then," Lupin agreed.

The kids shared a look and decided they didn't need to decode that one.  They didn't want to know.

***

Bix looked at the outfit that had appeared on her bed sometime during the day, then at the child napping on top of it.  "Ishi?" she called quietly, not wanting to startle him.  "You're napping on my bed why?" she asked with a grin when he woke up.

"I'm escaping the father.  He's not feeling well and he has a headache.  I only sat down," he complained as he sat up and got off the outfit.  "I'm sorry.  Xander said to wear that to the convention this weekend."  He yawned again.  "I have no idea what this is."

"It's the newest growth spurt," she assured him, giving him a gentle hug.  "It'll stop soon, Ishi.  Thank you for watching that for me," she said with a grin, giving him a little shove.  "Go play.  You're only eleven."

"Yes, Bix," he sighed, but he was grinning wickedly as he ran to pounce the girls.

She opened the bag and gasped, pulling out the kimono inside.  "Oh, my," she breathed.  It was a perfect one, it suited her quite well.  She carefully put it back into the bag and hung it in her closet.  "I'll have to thank him for letting me wear that later," she reminded herself, sitting down to take down her hair.  One of the babies had pulled her bun halfway down and it needed to be put back up.  The wispy strands were bothering her.

"At least the person taking my place is cute," Fujiko said bitterly from the doorway.

Bix looked at her, standing up.  "I'm not taking your place.  Goemon is my cousin, Fujiko."

She snorted.  "Yeah, because that'll just make you better for him," she said coldly.  "How long did you watch and wait for someone like him to come along?"

Bix rolled her eyes.  "Fujiko, even if I might like someone *like* him, I'd never date another warrior.  I was nearly married off to one and I never want that.  I don't want someone who's going to be leaving and fighting each and every day.  That is not the relationship that I want.  That's about three strikes against your husband in my book.  He's my cousin, he's a warrior, and he leaves for long periods of time.  I'd never put up with that.  I will let him help me find a decent boyfriend, that's what family does for each other, but I will not be taking him from you.  Your mouth has done all that for you."  She closed the door and sat down again to finish pulling down her hair.  "Stupid woman," she muttered.  "Doesn't have a clue."

Interestingly enough, Fujiko was muttering about the same thing as she snuck down the back stairs.  Unfortunately she ran into Xander first, wincing when she saw him lounging against the bottom of the stairs.  "Move, now, Lavelle.  Lupin said I could get out and wander around the house."

He looked her over.  "Maybe he did, but that didn't mean that you could go bother Bix or the kids without an adult's supervision," he said calmly.  "I want you away from my children, Fujiko.  Far, far away from my children."  He got out of her way.  "The cook is making dinner right now."  He walked around her, heading up to his room to look around.  He found a few things missing and went to talk to the girls first, finding them doing their gem evaluation lessons from them.  "Having fun?"

"We were gonna bring 'em back in about an hour, daddy," Arsene said as she studied the facets of the ruby in her fingers through the eyeglass she was wearing.  "Sorry."

"Not an issue.  Next time, tell me that you broke into my room."  He went to find Lupin, finding Goemon in there with him.  "Fujiko's up and wandering."  Lupin sighed.  "She went and accused Bix of wanting Goemon again.  She told her off quite well.  Goemon, do you want to go to the convention with us this weekend?"

"I would," he agreed calmly, looking at him.  "Did you stick her back in her room?"

"Nope.  I told her to go into the kitchen, that the cook was doing dinner.  I did tell her I didn't want her around my kids but I think that's preserving their sanity at the moment."  He leaned against the doorframe.  "Do we have anything coming up?"

"Nope," Lupin said with a small smirk.  "The convention is a go this weekend, if you think you can handle most of them with just you, Bix, and Goemon."

"You're not coming?" he asked, looking a bit hurt.

"Well, I was going to, but Murami wanted to meet with me early Saturday so I might not have all day with you.  She didn't say what was wrong."

"Fine," he sighed, going up to check his uniform again.  He was going to get out that grease stain yet.  Even if he had to magic it out.  Someone knocked on his door.  "Yeah?"  Goemon walked in.  "Mad at me?"

"No, proud that you didn't carry her back to her room," he admitted as he shut the door.  "Xander, is Ishi bothering you?"

"No!"  He looked at him.  "No, the kids don't bother me, Goemon.  We all know that I love the kids.  Ishi and I are great buddies.  Why?"

"Because Lupin knew what you told him this morning and he was worried that my son may be imposing or growing an unusual attachment for you," he admitted quietly, coming in to sit on the edge of his bed.  "Are you...."  He sighed.  "I know you are not, but I did have to ask."

Xander looked stunned, then burst out laughing.  "What the hell are you thinking?" he laughed.  "Ishi and me?  He's a little kid, Goemon.  I only like guys who can keep up with me, and he's not ever going to be one of those.  I've been giving him tips on how to pick good women to fantasize over.  He doesn't even like men!" he said, still shocked.  "What gave you that idea?"

"We had all noticed that my son has an attachment to you," he pointed out, looking in the dark eyes.  "I did not think that you were like that.  I knew you were not," he said when the natural eye darkened.  "I knew you would never harm the children, Xander, but I do not want my son hurt because you are the one he looks to."

"Oh, yeah," he said sarcastically.  "Because I'm the guy he comes to with issues other than girls, Goemon.  Get a fucking grip!  I'm not replacing you, no one can," he said impatiently.  "You're his dad, he loves you, but he feels he has things going on that you wouldn't ever understand.  You're like a god to the kid, man, of course he isn't going to come to you about women!"  He turned and stomped off to fume in private.  How dare they think such things!  About him!  He wasn't like that and he respected Goemon's bond with his kids.  After all the times he had backed Goemon up and had told Lupin and Jigen to butt out and let him handle things, and they do this to him!  "That's it," he growled, glaring back at the house.  "They can fucking well do without me for a bit."  He pulled out his phone and called his daughter.  "'Liss, it's daddy.  I'm going to duck out for a few days.  Have Bix bring you to the convention and I'll meet you there, sweetness.  You guys behave and cause your other fathers a lot of hell.  Okay?"  He hung up and sent the phone to Marcus, then disappeared into the ether.  The only thing he did go back to get was his wallet.  He needed a few things out of it.  Then he disappeared again, heading for a house no one knew he had, not even Murami.  Well, Arsene and Melissa might have found it, but none of the adults knew.  He stalked up to his personal gym and tossed his things in the corner, deciding a good bout with his heavy bag was the only thing he could do that wouldn't hurt him too much, yet would still allow his anger to be vented.

***

Lupin looked at the empty spot at the table.  "Where did Xander go?" he asked calmly.  This was so like him and he was going to skin him alive for leaving like that.

Melissa coughed. "Daddy said he was going to duck out for a few days.  That Bix was to take us to the convention and he'd probably see us there, even though we might not really see him.  He sounded really upset and I don't know why, daddy."  She looked at her natural father, then blinked when he went pale.  "Did you guys fight again?"

"No," Goemon moaned.  "No, this was my fault," he admitted.

Ishi gave him a long look.  "You mean you make mistakes?" he asked coldly.  His father glared at him.  "I heard what you said, father.  I was looking for one of the kittens in the hidden portal.  That was so wrong even criminals wouldn't allow it in their midst.  He was right to leave before he vented and one of us had to hear him do so."  He looked at Lupin again.  "Then again, I believe more than one person had a hand in their discussion today.  Let me make myself clear.  Xander is my second mentor.  Uncle Marcus is great, but he doesn't work with me.  He doesn't understand me that much, and he certainly doesn't make practice fun when I'm tired and ready to give up.  That is all he is to me.  As is proper with a mentor, he gives me advice when I need it or ask.  If you had other ideas, then perhaps some of the popular anti-psychotics would do you well."  He stood up and stomped off.

Lotus looked at Sierra.  "Did my brother just throw a fit?"  Sierra nodded grimly.  "Ishi?"  He slammed a door.  "All right then.  What did we do to piss off Uncle Xander this time?" she asked her father.  "He is the only one who seems to help with our lessons outside of Auntie Bix and Uncle Marcus.  I need him to grade my math homework so I can take my test and move on."

"It's nothing," Goemon assured his daughter, patting her on the head.  "A misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding that made daddy run isn't a misunderstanding, it's a reason to beg and plead for forgiveness," Savannah reminded him calmly.  "Leaving, yes; leaving like he did, that is much more serious.  We'll be lucky to get him back sometime in the near future.  Then who'll teach us things?"

"We don't?" Jigen asked his little girl.

She stared at him, then sighed and shook her head.  "Dad, it's kinda obvious that you can't connect with me because I don't want to be a thief.  Even though I can be a very good one, I'm apparently not the sort of child you ever wanted.  You've all made that very apparent to me and Sierra."

"Sierra and I," Lotus corrected bitterly.

"Fine, whatever," Sierra agreed, taking over.  "It's been pretty clear to us that you don't know what to do with us.  There for a while we thought the whole school idea was to get us around normal children so we wouldn't be such a burden on your lives.  It's a bad thing, but the only one who gives a damn about us are our siblings and Daddy Xander. You and Daddy Lupin both look at us like we're freaks of nature.  Goemon has no idea what to do with us, even though our lives are in more danger than anyone else's here.  It's gotten to the point where Savannah and I were going to ask to go to school earlier than the others."  She stood up and stomped off to cry in peace.

"Shit!" Lotus sighed, getting up to comfort her but Arsene waved her off and went instead.  "She's got enough problems without this right now," she announced.  "It's tough not being wanted."  She glared at her father.  "I've had that same feeling, father.  Just because I'm female doesn't mean I can't kick ass.  It's also not an issue that I'm a strong empath.  It happens and I may have to kill someone to protect myself some day.  I'd like to survive to see my own grandchildren."  She headed off to find the others, knowing that they needed her to calm them down.  Arsene had been scowling at her father.

"When did we become the bad guys?" Jigen asked Lupin.

"I thought I was trying," Lupin said miserably.  "Savannah, we try really hard not to ignore you two."

"You do a sucky job of it," she said bitterly.  "Just because I'm going to be a good guy doesn't mean I don't need to know how to defend myself.  I'll need it more because all those *nice* people you all play with will want me more to make an example of me because they think I'm going to be weak.  Don't believe me?  Ask your list, dad.  They said so when Arsene asked a few nights back."  She looked at her sister.  "I'm not hungry.  Come up when it's storytime and I'll pick out the book."

"Sure," Melissa agreed, sharing a look with her.  Her sister nodded and gave her a hug before walking out.  She cleared her throat in the stunned silence.  "Arsene and I were chatting with a few thieves we've been working with," she announced.  "He was a bit drunk, he hates coming to anyone for help, but he needed it to get his ass out of the hole he had dug and partially filled in with quicksand.  He was drunk enough that when Arsene typed in that she had to check on Savannah's nightmare he warned her to watch out for them.  He said that everyone has decided that those two are going to be the ones that people are going to try to prove themselves against you, dad."

She stared at her father, then at Goemon.  "Them, and Lotus, because they're all seen as being weaker and having no training.  Even though it's not true.  Arsene felt honor bound to remind him that Daddy Xander was training us, just so we wouldn't be targets.  He told us that there were already two calls out for their bodies.  Not their heads, their bodies."  Lupin got up and went to get sick.  She stared at her father again.  "By not training them and making sure people knew that they weren't going to be thieves, they're seen as the perfect targets.  Fortunately we told Uncle Ray about this and he and Daddy got together to talk about it recently.  They've come up with the training that we'll need and he's starting it.  Then he put around that anyone who touched *his* kids, all of us including the newest one, would be dying horribly by his hand and it would make Geneva look pitiful."  She swallowed.  "Uncle Ray suggested we start school to protect us.  He said that there were plenty of people who wanted us dead to give you back your former lives.  Daddy Xander had to be stopped from going off on them."

"How do you know this?" Goemon asked.

"Easy, I bugged him."  She shrugged. "I've had a bug on Uncle Ray now for months.  That's why Arsene's driver was found out as soon as he showed up.  We knew he was a police plant.  That's why we taunted him so very pleasingly.  That's why he went back to his boss and broke out in tears," she said proudly.  "It's amazing but there are plenty of times when those two think that you want them to be helpless and possibly to be taken by someone else."  She wiped her mouth and stood up.  "May I be excused?"

"No," Jigen told her.  "Sit."  She stared at him.  "Daughter, sit.  We had no idea about this. You both should have brought this to us."

"Would it have mattered?" she asked bitterly.  He recoiled.  "You never let us do things with our twins.  I may not understand her, but she is my twin.  I enjoy doing things with my twin.  The same as Arsene does enjoy doing things with her twin."

Arsene stuck her head in.  "Daddy said he went to bed."  She walked in at the hurt looks.  "Wrong father, Uncle Jigen.  The missing one.  He was a bit drunk and called his phone, which Uncle Marcus has."  She looked at her partner.  "I'm tired of this fight. I loathe fighting emotionally."

"Me too," she promised, giving her a hug.  "We'll go do the story tonight so Ishi doesn't have to hold in the swearing."

"He went to do a few dozen katas in the gym once he got Lotus to quit crying.  She doesn't want to die either, and he assured her she'd be protected, the same as we promised the others."

"Good."  Melissa walked out with her, leaving the adults there.  "I think that went well, considering."

"The speech was good," she agreed.  She went into the room where Lotus and the other two were curled up watching cartoons.  "Can we hop in the middle?"

"Sure," Sierra agreed, shifting to make room for her twin.  Savannah made room for her twin and together they pulled Lotus in to cuddle.

"Me!" Kenji yelled, using his walker to come in.  "Me memememe!"

"Yes, you, love," Lotus said with a smile.  She took him out of his walker and let him curl up against her stomach, it's where he liked to rest the most.  "We'll watch cartoons then you can walk that horrid contraption around some more."

Jigen walked in and flipped off the tv, making Kenji scowl.  "You can have it back in a moment, little guy."  He sat down looking at the girls.  "We never wanted that for you, for any of you.  We had a lot of hopes that you'd be normal kids.  We didn't want you in the family business until you were teenagers.  We certainly didn't want you to have a bounty on your heads at the age of eight."  Sierra sniffled.  "It won't happen.  It won't because we won't let it."  He looked at Arsene.  "How long did it take you to write that one?"

"We found out two days ago and we've all just calmed down enough, then *someone* had the bright idea that Daddy Xander was some sort of child molester after Ishi and said so to his face."  The other kids winced, shaking their heads, all but Kenji, who was chewing on her ear.  "Thanks, little man.  Behave, okay?"  He gave her a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss then went back to hugging his big sister.  "We decide we had to air this since this has been the month for the bad things to come to light.  It's not fair to our father and it's not fair to Daddy Lupin either."

"You guys really consider Xander to be your true parent?" Goemon asked from the doorway.

"You were there, Uncle Goemon.  How many times did daddy hand us off when we did something mystifying, like wake up?" Melissa said bitterly.  She glared at her father.  "I'm going to agree, a year at a boarding school is going to be a good idea and it will probably protect us more."

"I never handed you off," Jigen said, staring her down.  "I had no intention of ever handing you off.  Any of you.  I was there as much as I could be.  I can't teleport."

"No, you can't.  You also can't stand us teething, shitting, or being normal children," Lotus reminded him.  "At least I had two parents."  She frowned at her own father.  "I'm still not in a forgiving mood for you putting me in so much danger, father.  Since you can't seem to train a girl, I've taken the liberty of asking Uncles Ethan and Ripper to help me."

"No!" he said firmly.  "You will not learn chaos magic."

"Then fucking well teach me!" she yelled.  "Before I die before I hit puberty!"

"Enough!" Lupin said as he walked in.  "Lotus, please don't swear.  I know you're upset.  I'm upset and I know you're scared."  He sat down, pulling her into his lap to hold.  "We never wanted to put you kids in danger."

"Then why didn't you train us?" Sierra demanded.  "We might be good guys, but I will need it.  Do I have to pull an Arsene to get you to love me?"  She burst out in tears and her twin hugged her.

"Shh.  He loves you, he just doesn't understand you," she soothed, glaring at her father.  "See what you've done?"

Lupin put Lotus into Jigen's lap then grabbed his daughter to hold.  "I do love you, good guy tendencies and all," he assured her, holding her as tightly as he could.  "I don't want anything to happen to you.  The only reason we haven't been teaching you things is because we didn't think you'd be interested."

"That and telling you some things would break thieves' honor," Jigen told them calmly, looking at his own daughters.  "We never meant to ignore you.  We never wanted to hurt you.  Now I know why you and Lotus sound like walking encyclopedias."

"Did you actually wonder?" Savannah asked.   Her father nodded.  "Did it impress you?"

"No, you scared me.  I wanted to have little girls and somewhere I fucked up," Jigen told her, being honest.  "I have no idea where.  I know I wasn't going to teach you more than marksmanship because I didn't think you'd need or want it."

"Even I need it," Lotus said tiredly.  "People are going to come for me too because you've already set the precedent that the three of us are weaker and not the true heirs.  A few people want to test themselves against Ishi and they want to see whether or not my father gives me away in some political marriage or if I get kidnaped and killed because I can't get myself free."  She got out of his lap and stood up, looking at her father.  "Either train me or send me to someone to live and train with them.  Even the Kitsune if you can arrange it. It'd be kinder than waiting to see who you're going to marry me off to or who's going to come for me."

"Neither will happen," he said, picking her up to hold her.  "I did not believe you would need it," he reminded her.  "I have been working you up to your brother's level."

"Father, there will be people of your own skill that are going to come for me."

"I know, which is why you're getting sword lessons as soon as you hit your next growth spurt," he assured her, giving her another squeeze. "We did not mean to hurt any of you.  You are not weaker for not wanting to join a life of crime.  Nor are you weaker for being girls, wanting a future in law enforcement, or for not being the genius that Arsene is."

"I'm only doing it to prove myself invincible," she informed them all.  "That way they know that the others will always stick up for those three and the younger kids."

Lupin shook his head, pulling her closer to hold her.  "It's not necessary.  I will kill anyone who comes near you kids as painfully as possible.  No matter which one is tried, they're going to die horribly.  How could you doubt that?"

"Easy.  You don't teach us things," Sierra reminded him.  "We're not supposed to have to worry about this, daddy.  We're still kids.  I've tried everything to get your attention."

"No," Arsene warned.

"Oh, quit!" Sierra said, giving her a shove.   "It wasn't your fault!"

"No, it wasn't, but if you had come to me, I would have helped you at least plan something," she reminded her.  "Instead you got arrested and Daddy had to come for you."

"Excuse me, arrested?" Lupin asked, looking shocked.  He looked down at his good little girl.  "Why were you arrested?  And when?"

"I was trying to be the daughter you wanted, not some little girl who was going to be given away in marriage to some thief you wanted to get on the good side of," she said coldly.  "Unfortunately, I got caught.  Uncle Ray was called since it was one of us and he called Daddy.  Daddy came down and fixed it and they talked then."

"I found out because someone on the thieves' bulletin board put out a notice, that's when the shit started to hit the fan," Arsene told them.

Lupin swallowed.  "Sierra, honey, I love you just the way you are.  Nothing would make me happier than to go to your Academy graduation.  I don't want you in my life if that's not what you want."  She burst out in tears.  "Hey!  Not like that.  I meant being a thief.  Shhh."  He hugged her as hard as he could, looking at Arsene.  "I wanted to know first, before you told the others and Xander," he reminded her.  "Things like this need to be dealt with by the adults, not you guys.  You're not old enough for that yet."

"Whine, father," she said bitterly.  "We called Daddy because he wasn't going to yell and throw fits."

"I wouldn't have at the station, and I wanted to know this!" Lupin said angrily.  "How long has this been going on?"

Lotus looked at him, then shrugged.  "Who knows?  Since it was pointed out that daddy was having a baby?"

"I'm going to kill someone for *daring* to come near you girls," Lupin growled, glaring at the doorway.  "Xander didn't tell me either, I will get him for that."  He looked at the three in danger. "Did you three want to change your names to something safer?  It's a weak hiding spot but it might give us some warning."

"No!" Sierra said, getting away from him, incidentally kicking him on the thigh and stomach.  "No, you're not sending me away!"

"I was going to suggest that you take Xander's last name," Lupin said, rubbing his new sore spots.  "I'm not giving you up.  Not to some wannabe idiot and certainly not to Xander.  If you had run to me, I would have stopped this before now.  I wish you kids had so we could worry about you, that's what parents are for!"

"Too late," Arsene said dryly.  "Daddy Xander got some information from Uncle Ray and he ran off to deal with them a few weeks ago.  You're missing some of your contacts, dad."  She looked at Goemon, who still looked stunned.  "We had to become better to get any sort of attention and love from you guys.  We'd love to have been normal kids.  Lotus does suck up an impressive amount of information.  Melissa does a lot of planning because we've had to.  Lotus does a lot of magic because she's been learning how to protect us.  That's why we've been so good."

"Then it won't have to happen any longer," Lupin promised, making a silent vow to kill them all.  No one touched his kids!  "Why didn't Xander tell me?"

"Because you haven't said a word to him that wasn't during a job or in the bedroom?" Melissa suggested.  She looked over as Bix joined them.  "We're telling them about the people who want us."

"Hmm."  She joined them, patting Lotus on the head.  "I had wondered why Ishi was trying to kill a tree with his fists."  She hugged Sierra.  "I'm impressed.  You nearly did get that vase."  She gave her a small smile.  "Lupin, there's a few people who have wanted to talk to you tonight.  I just answered the phone again for Marcus.  He wanted to know why Xander was calling him while he was drunk.  Apparently he can't leave Ethan's minions or else they drink all the liquor and try to paint the house pink and lavender." Jigen shuddered.  "Exactly.  Marcus said that Xander's phone call suddenly cut out and he doesn't know why.  He did say that the problem with the people trying to hurt the children was almost solved."

"He didn't come to me?" Lupin asked, looking hurt.

"You were busy and he was proving his worth," she said quietly, staring into his eyes.  "As you knew he was going to if you had thought about it."  Lupin slumped and cuddled his daughter harder.  "He said it's taken care of except for a few higher people and he doesn't have the clout to go near them and he doesn't want to go to Iran right now."  Lupin's eyes narrowed.   "He also said you couldn't go right this moment either. He said it's very dangerous and if you tried then it could well leave the kids orphans.  The warlords who wanted them for their child brides are in the middle of a war."  Jigen shuddered. "He said he sent a messenger to them to point out that his children were sacred and not going to them unless they wanted to.  He said he got an assurance that they're too young for him anyway.  Apparently he wanted all three of them so they could be kept together."

"He can kiss my ass," Lotus said grimly.

"Daughter, I know you are under great stress, but do not swear," Goemon reprimanded gently.  "That is one habit I do not want you to pick up from the others.  Their abilities, yes, their mouths, no."  He made her look at him.  "You should have told us immediately.  We need to know such things to protect you.  I will protect you no matter what you turn out to be.  Even if you turn out to be one of those dangerous, psychotic serial killers, I will still love you and protect you.  I would have to find somewhere safe to let you live, but I would protect you," he said at her skeptical look.  "If you had come to us when these feelings first developed then we would have made allowances and trained you as the others have been.  We were remiss in not seeing it."

"We gave you clues," Arsene spat.

"Apparently adults are dense," Jigen told her, grabbing her to hold.  "Sometimes we need a blunt sign."

"Fine.  I want to be a normal girl for a few years," Arsene said, looking at her father.

"I'd like nothing better than for you to be a little girl instead of my grandfather," he assured her.  "We want you girls to do things like beg for toys instead of weapons.  I want to take you girls shopping and whine about the current 'cute' fashions being much too old for you instead of trying to figure out how to get you body armor for your birthdays.  It would please me more than anything for you girls to become normal girls forever more if that's what you wanted.  I don't want you to think I'm ever going to use you. You're not marriage pawns.  You're not a reason for the world to quake in fear.  You're children, and I want you to be children."

"Me too," Jigen agreed.

"Me as well," Goemon added.  "I only wanted to have children, not warriors in training, Lotus.  I had unreasonable expectations with you both."

"Father, we love that you spend time with us every day to teach us," she protested.  "We love you for wanting to teach us and trying to teach us everything you know.  I don't want to giggle over the current 'hot' band.  I don't want to coo over dresses.  Dresses are boring.  I've been like this forever, long before you tried to teach me how to block a hit."  He nodded, understanding what she was saying.  "Ishi and I want to continue our training, dad.  We'll kidnap you if we have to."

"You will not," he promised, setting her down.  "I will train you all to defend yourselves and you two will still get your extra lessons if that's what you want."  She nodded.  "Then it will be so.  Let me retrieve your brother before something worse happens."  He headed for the garden, knowing by the sound where his son was hitting something.  He walked out and stopped him before he kicked it again.  The tree's trunk was already showing a great deal of damage.  "Son."  His son turned to glare at him.  "I love you.  I want you to be a happy and normal child, but I am not abandoning any of you.  Not Lotus, not the others. You should have told us."

"The Mother saw."

Goemon considered that statement, knowing who he was talking about instinctively.  It did seem that his son was understood by Xander more.  "Xander has always been...."  His son burst out laughing.  "Your actual mother?"  He nodded.  "When did she note that?"

"In her diary a few months back."

"Ah."  He shook his head, leaning against the tree.  "I had no idea, but she is looking in from the outside so I suppose she would be able to see it better than I."  He pulled his son closer to hold him again.  "I wish I had realized.  I do not want to treat you differently.  I want to treat you the same and I want all of you children to be happy, normal children who feel no pressure to follow in our footsteps. "

Ishi pulled back.  "If you drop me as a student, I'll take another and prove you wrong," he said bitterly, turning around but his father caught him and pulled him back against him.  "Let go."

"Son, shut up and listen.  I am not going to remove myself from your training unless you want me to," he said calmly.  "All I want is for you to be happy, and if your training makes you that way then I'm going to continue.  I do not want you to feel that you can't come to us for things like this.  I want to know when you're having problems, when you're in trouble, and when you have odd thoughts about not being loved.  We do love you.  Each and every one of you, even the next one."  He let his son pull back if he wanted to.  "Now then.  I need to know more about these people who would hurt you."

"Ask Uncle Xander.  He knows."

"He is still not back yet," he reminded the young man.

Ishi scowled at his father, looking every bit like a miniature him.  "Father, you hurt him so badly he may never come back," he pointed out.  "You accused him of improper conduct with his own children.  Would you come back?"  Goemon shook his head silently.  "What gave you that idea?"

"You and he seemed to share so many secrets and I wanted to make sure it was not how it looked," he defended.

Ishi rolled his eyes, silently asking for patience.  He shifted his weight and crossed his arms over his chest.  "Father, you're an idiot.  Uncle Xander would sooner kill himself than ever have an improper thought about us children, or any children.  He's not like that.  He's proven that time and again.  Uncle Xander has been the one stability we could always count on.  He didn't know that we were in danger until Uncle Ray told him and then he lost his temper greatly and disappeared, coming back bloody and with ripped clothes a few hours later to bring Sierra home.  There is still a roll-call going on among those on the bulletin board Arsene and her father use for their illicit business."

Goemon sighed and nodded.  "I still wanted to know, son.  When *you* found out, not when Xander did.  He may have thought it was handled, but it may not be and I want to be the one to protect you.  You are still young and should not have to deal with these matters.  That's what an adult and a parent is for.   Your sister reminded us that you've had two, even though one of them wasn't biological.  Why did you not come to us?"

"What would you do?  Go out and get killed by fighting with them?  Then where would we be?"

"Son...."

"No, Father, we knew it would happen.  Uncle Jigen would not be coming back.  Uncle Lupin had the greatest chance of dying as well.  You would have been maimed too bad to ever fight again.  Lotus read the cards with Dawn's help.  Now they're different."  He looked at the house, then at his father.  "They're mostly gone.  The danger is less to you."

"It is still our job to protect you," Goemon calmly reminded him.

"So we can be orphans?" he asked bitterly.  Goemon glared at him.  "I'm not going to let that happen to those girls, father, even if I have to prevent it myself.  Not you, not Lotus, not anyone is going to make those girls orphans while I still live."

"Son...."

"You all would have died, Father," Ishi said slowly and clearly.  "Even if you had lived, you wouldn't be the man you are now."

His father grabbed him by the arms and shook him.  "It is a noble sentiment, but that is my choice, son.  I am the father.  It is *my* duty and my privilege to protect you all, not yours.  Not Xander's, Bix's, or even Marcus' duty, *mine*."

"And it's ours to make sure that you don't die when someone else can do it equally as well and not die!" Ishi shouted.  Goemon flinched.  "I'm not becoming an orphan either, father.  I love my baby brothers, but I don't want to be their father!"

Goemon grabbed and shook his son twice.  "That is not your job, son. Yours is to make sure that the future goes on!  Not to protect me when I'm able to do it for myself!  I am the parent and it is my job to protect you. Until I'm old and decrepit, it will remain *my* job to do that.  You are not the parent, act like the son!"  His son sniffled so he pulled him closer again, holding him tightly.  "I appreciate the thought, but it is not necessary.  The cards do not always show the absolute future, only a possible path.  In this case, we will finish hunting down these imbeciles until they understand and know that you are sacred to us."

"That's why they want us, dad," he sighed, relaxing against him.  His father squeezed him.  "Dad, you're really strong and I'd like to have those ribs for a few more years," he complained.  Goemon chuckled and let him go a little bit.  "Maybe a few more inches of air?"

"No.  I am not going to leave you alone.  You are my son and I love you for being so stubborn, but I will not allow it."  He let him go and ruffled his hair.  "Come, let us talk more reasonably.  The other two parents are probably done crying by now."

"The girls really laid into them, didn't they?" he said miserably.  Goemon nodded.  "Oh, man," he groaned.  "That's counterproductive.  They'll never let us out of the house."

"Your uncle has said that Bix is taking you to the convention with me and he will meet you there."  He walked his son inside, seeing Lupin making sundaes for the girls.  "May we have some as well?"

"Sure.  Pull up a chair or a stool," he said, glancing at Ishi.  "Feel better?"

"Yes.  You?"

"Much.  Next time, tell us, kid.  Even if we're in danger from it, we want to know so we can protect you guys and send someone else to do it for us."

"We promised we would," Arsene told him.  "Should I get the iodine or the alcohol?" she asked, looking at his hands.

"A bowl of warm, soapy water and some gauze should do for now," Goemon told her, giving her a hug as she moved past him.  "You are very helpful," he told her.

"He'll still need to clean that and help his sister heal the tree," Melissa reminded him.

"It should be fine and the tree will heal on its own," Goemon told her.  Everyone stared at him.  "Ishi did not do that much damage, just to some of the bark."

"I was getting tired," Ishi admitted as he sat down, letting Arsene put his hands into the soapy water and help clean them.  "Maybe you should be a nurse," he joked.

"I do a good job," she agreed, carefully cleaning the scrapes and skinned spots.  Ishi hissed.  "Next time don't pick on the poor trees, there aren't enough of them as is."  She let that hand out and worked on the other one, letting his sister wrap his hands for him.

"Not too tight or I won't be able to have ice cream," Ishi protested.

"You can't until you promise to let us be the adults anyway," Jigen told him.

Ishi looked at him, then at his father, who gave him a long look, making him sigh.  "Fine, you are adults and we are mere children," he agreed.

"Mere my ass," Lupin snorted.  "Mere children wouldn't have been able to pull what you three have."  He handed over a bowl of ice cream, helping Lotus with the last bandage.  "There."

"Where's Daddy?" Melissa asked, digging into her bowl of treat.

"Apparently he's drinking himself into a dreamless sleep," Jigen said honestly.

"Oh.  Then why did he hang up on Uncle Marcus suddenly?" Arsene asked.

Lupin shrugged.  "I don't know.  I can go ask but it might not get us anywhere."

"I'll come with you when you do that," Arsene told him.  He gave her a long look.  "What?  I have friends out there and I have to tell them that I can't meet them in Paris this Saturday after sneaking out of the Convention."

"You're not dragging me out of there," Ishi told her.

"Fine," she agreed, rolling her eyes.  "You fandom boys and your things can have fun.  I'm going to have some fun and then I was going to go pull one over on the ICPO by taking their present treasure."

"Oh, no," Lupin said, patting her on the head.  "There will be none of that, young lady.  That is much too dangerous and many of those people can shoot you.  You're not going anywhere near the cops until you're an adult."  He sat down next to her.  "I mean it, guys, even if it's something bad enough to kill us, I need to know to protect you guys and send someone else to do the family's dirty work."

"We did, we sent Uncle Xander," Lotus told him.

"Yeah, but he could have used the backup," Jigen reminded her.  "From now on, anything that you want Xander to do for you becomes a whole group project.  Got it?"  They all nodded, sighing in defeat.  "Thank you.  If you guys are really good, we won't make you spend your allowance at the convention."

"You were going to be that mean to us, Daddy?" Sierra asked.  Lupin nodded.

"We would have stolen it from the safe anyway," Arsene reminded her.  "Why did you go for that horrible, ugly vase anyway, sis?"

"It had some challenge but it looked pretty easy," she admitted.  "Uncle Ray asked me why I had endangered my future as a cop, so I told him why.  He told me I was dumb and read me the riot act."

"You know, I never understood that saying," Lotus admitted.

"Riot acts were something that had to be screamed as you arrested them probably," Jigen told her, patting her on the back. "We're going to behave, right?  No more magic without telling us.  No more doomsday prophecies without telling us.  No more letting the others get into danger without telling us.  Right?"  She gave him a patient look, exactly like her mother used to give Lupin, and nodded.  "Good girl."  He looked at Lupin.  "We should probably find Xan."

"He'll come home," Lupin pointed out.  The kids all groaned.  "What?" he asked, looking disturbed.  "He won't?"

"My father accused him of being inappropriate with me," Ishi noted. "I'm sure he's crying in his drink right now."

"I'd suggest a lot of begging and presents," Arsene told Goemon.

"What gave you that idea?" Lotus asked.  "Uncle Xander considers us more important than his honor and life."

Goemon looked at Lupin.  "Someone noted that you children, especially Ishi, were spending a lot of time with him, seeming to keep a dark secret, and holding undue influence over your lives.  Plus, he is always touching Ishi."

Everyone under the age of twelve and over the age of two groaned.  "You idiots!" Arsene shouted.  "You drove him off and we'll never get him back now!  Then what will you do?"

"Daughter, watch your mouth," Lupin warned.  She gave him a hurt look.  "I am not an idiot."

"Well you must be.  You threw away the person who was pulling jobs for you, Uncle Lupin.  You threw away the one person who gave a damn about you no matter how dumb you've been in the past, no matter how many times you cheated on him, and no matter how bad you treated him.  Gods!  Kids, we've got to find him."

"Daddy still had a few secret places," Melissa said thoughtfully.  "I suppose we can ask. Someone must have seen him since he hasn't got the choker or his illusion necklace anymore."  She ate another bite of ice cream, licking off her spoon when her father took her bowl.  "I'm guessing he's got a secret hiding place for when we get to be too much.  I have no idea where though. Did he bring his laptop?"

"He walked out with whatever was on his body," Ishi told him.

"He came back once but it was a quick thing, like he was grabbing his wallet," Lotus told him.

"Oh."  Ishi sighed.  "Well, he'll have to be there Saturday.  He wanted to introduce Bix to his buddies and to show us around our first convention so we could appreciate what he does."  He stirred his topping into his ice cream before taking another bite.  "It's Thursday, he'll have to be there."

"We'll put out a call and check the convention," Lupin assured him.  "I'll be dropping you guys off before going to meet with Murami.  Then I'll join you guys again.  You will behave for Bix and Goemon or else," he warned.  "There will be no trips to the mall until the holidays."  They pouted and nodded, eating their ice cream.  "Lotus, Ishi, I guess you're going to have to go to Marcus until Xander quits pouting and we can convince him that we weren't really concerned about that.  That okay with you?"

"I can teach them myself," Goemon protested.

"Yes, but Uncle Marcus does the meditation lectures much better, daddy," Lotus said, giving him a small grin.  "It's much more about focus.  Ishi does it very well."

"Hmm."  He looked at his son.  "Trying magic for yourself?"  His son shuddered.  "Thank you.  Then I will allow that.  Meditation is often hard for some of us."  He reached over to tap the back of his son's bandaged hand.  "Perhaps we should talk about your anger later, son."

"Father, you tried to rip my family apart. Of course I got angry."

"Fine.  I can agree with that," he promised.  "If it happens again I want you to come to me directly.  That sort of anger is going to get you killed and I would hate that."

"Gee, Goemon, mushy much?" Jigen teased.

"Shut up," Arsene said, frowning at him.  "Someone needs to be mushy at Ishi so he'll know what to do with a girl when he finally catches one and makes her beg and plead for his attention."

"Do not tell your father to shut up," Lupin said firmly.  "Or else you'll be staying here by yourself Saturday."  She slumped and nodded, giving Jigen a 'sorry' look.  "Thank you.  Now that we have that settled, I'm going to talk to my contacts online.  Arsene, you're grounded from the office for two days."  He stood up and headed that way.

"Laptop?" Sierra asked.

"In my room," Melissa noted. "Working wonderfully as always, even after the baby pulled it down on his head."  She ate another bite, then drank the melted ice cream off the bottom of the bowl.  "May I have some more please?"

"Nope, sorry.  One bowl maximum tonight," Jigen told her.  "Tomorrow."  They nodded.  "After this, everyone goes upstairs and bathes, then we'll do bedtimes."  They nodded again, trooping up as soon as they were done.  Savannah was nice enough to help them put the bowls into the dishwasher, but she had to scurry upstairs as well.  Jigen threw rock/paper/scissors with Goemon for the honor of first story, and lost, so he went to check on Lupin.  "Anything?"

"Not a damn thing," Lupin admitted.  "Not a thing doing a 'net search for his name.  Not a newspaper article with his name in it.  Nothing."  He looked up.  "I was hoping it was somewhere like the supply closets."  Jigen nodded, looking calm.  "I have no idea where he went but my daughter may be right.  We may have lost him."

"Lupin, all his stuff's here, he'll be back," Jigen pointed out.

"He can probably pack it by magic and transport it somewhere," Lupin complained.  "Bedtime already?" Jigen nodded so he followed him out and up the stairs.  Behind him, his computer's screen went blank as a simple message was typed onto it, then left that way.

He's mine now, I warned you.

The screensaver came up and blocked it, leaving it with them all night.

One of the cats that wasn't really theirs came in around two am and laid down on the keyboard and mouse, stopping the screensaver and ending the program that had been running.  She purred and licked her front paw, using it to clean her ears.  That was much better.  Her lord and master would be happier with her.

***

That Saturday, Ishi found a few of the people he had been introduced to, smiling and waving them closer.  "Morning."

"Morning, Ishi."  He grinned at the other kids.  "I see Xander made good on his threat.  Where is he?" Jerry asked.

"You mean he's not here?" Ishi asked.  Jerry and the other guys shook their heads.  "Not even in a clever disguise?  Maybe as his mouse persona?"

"No, not at all," Paul told him as he joined them.  "Hey, kids.  I'm Paul."

Ishi giggled and pulled Bix closer.  "This is Bix.  The woman that Uncle Xander wanted to introduce you guys too.  Arsene," he said without having to look.

"I was only looking, I'd never steal from here," she defended.  "I'm in my good-guy persona."  She straightened out her dress.  "Hi.  Do you know where our Uncle is?  He kinda left the house crying and went to get drunk."

"Xander?" Jerry asked, looking concerned.  He looked around, then whistled and pointed at a very furry man.  "Teddy!"  He came jogging over.  "Xander left his house and disappeared."

"Yeah, well, I'd assume he can do that with how good he is," Teddy admitted.  He grinned at the kids.  "Hi, guys.  Don't worry, Xander's really good at hiding."

"He left in tears," Ishi told him.

"Ishi, perhaps he wouldn't want them to know," Bix said gently.

"They're his best friends, they want to win him in a poker game," Ishi said with a grin for her.  "Teddy, this is Bix, the one Uncle Xander was telling you about.  You boys play nicely with her, she's a distant cousin and very gentle.  I'd hate to have to duel with anyone who upset her."  He gave her a push toward the men, then looked at Teddy and Jerry.  "Nowhere?  Nothing?"

"I haven't heard a thing," Teddy admitted.  "I'll call around. There's another convention in a few days.  Oh, there's Ray.  RAY!"  A man dressed as Spike looked up and smirked, strolling over there.  "Ishi and the kids can't find Xander.  Have you heard about him?"

"Just that he disappeared and went to get drunk.  Marcus called me last night at home to see if I knew where he was.  He has his phone and Xander hasn't called since that time he got cut off."

"Cut off?" Teddy asked.  "Didn't he say he had a satellite phone?"  Ray nodded.  "Then how did that happen?"

"Marcus wasn't sure but he can't trace him and he says Xander shouldn't be able to hide from him.  I've put it around that Lavelle's gone missing, but none of the ICPO's guys have seen or heard from him either.  Ishi, kids, don't worry, we're looking for him too.  A pissed Xander is one who can destroy the world."

Ishi went up on his tiptoes, whispering in his ear.  "That's why he left."

"Fuck," Ray said simply, pulling out his phone.  "Let me call Zenigata.  Maybe he's got more of an idea or Dawn might.  Since he's at home and all."  He stepped away to make the call, getting out of the stream of traffic.  "Lotus, that is not a booth you're allowed at," he ordered.  "Your father would have fits."  He heard the tired voice on the other side and whispered what Ishi had told him.  "All BS of course."

"Of course it was.  I was concerned about the training he was giving my son," Goemon said as he appeared behind him.  Ray jumped, then scowled at him.  "I do that look much better."

"Probably true," Ray agreed. "Isn't it a false accusation?"  Goemon nodded with a slight slump to his shoulders.  "Who in the hell told you that?"

"He was worried about how Uncle Xander seemed to be my confidant and jumped miles to the right," Ishi told him, taking the phone.  "Uncle Zenny, we can't find him either.  Have you heard *anything*?  We can't even figure out what city he's in."  He listened to the voice try to chew him a new one.  "Just stop, dude.  He's so upset he hung up on Uncle Marcus.  He gave Uncle Marcus his phone.  He left *everything* at the house."  He listened to the restating that they didn't know a thing.  "Fine.  When you do, we need to know first.  I'm giving Ray *my* cell's number."

Goemon took the phone.  "I accused him falsely," he admitted.  "He was quite emotional when he left.  It may not be possible to approach him.  Yes, it is I," he sighed.  "Thank you."  He rattled off a number.  "To my phone."  He handed Ray his again.  "Bix, we will meet you by the food stalls in a few minutes," he ordered, herding the children with him while they all kept an eye out for Xander. This was not good.

Ray groaned and held his head while he listened.  "No, Goemon found out he was mentoring Ishi and jumped light years out of synch with reality.  Yeah, him.  No, he was taking care of the kids, like usual.  I'm guessing the wife is driving everyone insane.  No, they're all here.  Thanks, boss."  He hung up and shrugged at Teddy's interested look.  "We have not even gotten a *hint* of Xander's whereabouts.  Zenigata did say he'd be calling them instead of trying to get him ourselves.  If he's that upset he might kill us all."  He shook his head and patted Bix on the back as he walked past her, dropping a small bug on her robe.  "I'm gonna shadow the kids in case someone gets a bright idea that Ishi can't stop.  Have fun, guys."  He trotted off to find the kids.  Seven kids in here was asking for trouble, them being thieves only made it doubly worse.  Or more.

Bix smiled shyly, blushing bright red.  "Hello."

One of the guys offered her his arm.  "We should get you a place to sit down away from the grubby fingers of the children. That kimono is very pretty and suits you wonderfully."  She blushed brighter and he grinned.  "It's true, it does."  The other guys with him nodded and made agreeing noises.  "So, you're Ishi's cousin?"

"Distant one," she admitted shyly.  "I'm from the other side of the family."

"Ah."  Paul smiled at her and plucked the bug off her back.  "Ray is quite obvious at times.  Where did you find that?  I know Xander knows some of the best people."

"I think it was his.  It was left on my bed," she told him.

"Hmm.  Ray?"  Ray's head popped up.  "Xander gave her his kimono."

"That was before the fight," she offered.

"We'll find him, Bix, even if I do have to pull a lot of overtime and a lot of frequent flier miles."  He looked at them.  "She is Goemon's distant cousin, guys.  Let's play nicely.  She's barely legal."

"Xander told us," Teddy agreed.  "Some of us are married and chaperoning.  Go find the kids."

"I was trying to," Ray complained, heading off to do that again.  All the good stuff would be gone from the stalls if he had to shadow them around, but he could live with that he guessed.

***

Lupin walked into Murami's apartment, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  "Have you turned into a cop?" he teased lightly.

"No. You?"  He laughed and gave her a real hug.  "Thanks.  I needed to talk to you about Arsene.  She sounded so defeated, like school was the only option she could see to keep them all safe."  She led him to the sitting area, letting him pick his seat so she could sit across from him.  "There is an educational fund available, Lupin.  Do you think you're going to need it?"

"We had been discussing a year of school away from us to help them deal with other people," he admitted. "I know what was wrong and we've fixed it, but we still think a year of school would help them.  They've never had to deal with kids who don't like them or anything like that."

"It does sound like a good idea," she agreed.  She curled up on her love seat, pulling her feet up beside her.  "Lupin, I'm also worried about Xander.  He sent me a letter saying the kids could have access to his money if necessary."

"He's missing," Lupin groaned, leaning forward to hold his head.  "Can I see it?"  She nodded at the letter on the table between them so he picked it up to read it.  "That's not his handwriting, Murami."

"I noticed that first thing," she admitted.  "Where did he go?"

"We have no idea.  Does he have any houses that you haven't told us about?"  She shook her head.  "None?"

"Not a one that I know about," she admitted.  "Then again, I don't know everything he does as an emergency procedure.  In case someone tries to get to me or something, or so he said."

"It's a wise move," Lupin agreed, putting the letter into his jacket pocket.  "Want to get dressed and come with us to the fandom convention?  The kids are all there except the youngest few, who are with Jigen and the cats."

"You mean those things that Xander goes to?" she asked hesitantly.  He nodded, grinning at her.  "Since when did you go to those things?"

"Since he made me or else he was going to leave me.  I foolishly thought he was addicted until I met a few of his friends."

She smirked at him.  "I bet.  Where did the kimono he had me pull out of storage go?"

"Bix.  He's fixing her up with his friends."  He pulled out his phone and called Ishi's.  "Is your uncle there?"  He sat up straight, rigid with tension.  "No?  Xander *never* misses a convention or a time to play with you guys.  Hell, he promised you guys and he's not there?"  He groaned.  "Yeah, thank Ray for me.  Yeah, I'm with Murami.  Thanks, Ishi."  He hung up and looked at her, forcing himself to relax.  "He's not there."

"He's not?"  Lupin shook his head.  "What did you guys do to him this time?"

"Goemon thought he was having odd thoughts about Ishi because Xan was mentoring him so closely."  She glared at him.  "Hey, it was a worry at times.  Xander hadn't been in bed with us for two days."

"So you *assume* he's hitting on Ishi in some sort of Greek Mentor/boy relationship?"  Lupin made a whimpering sound.  "You'll be lucky to ever get him back, even if he didn't plan this.  Even if he was kidnaped and you manage to rescue him, he'll never come back, Lupin.  You just destroyed his whole world."

"He will," Lupin assured her casually.   "We have the kids."

"Arsene, listen to yourself," she ordered quietly.  He flinched at the use of his real name.  "Think about the man you're talking about.  He went to the kitsune when you ignored him for too long, yes?"  Lupin sighed and nodded.  "Now you've accused him of a heinous action against a child he considers his, and he left you.  Things are looking like he planned things so he'd never be coming back.  I'd be surprised if he didn't contact the kids sometime, but I doubt he's *ever* going to come back to you after that."

"Goemon asked."

She moaned, putting a hand on her forehead.  "I'll try to track him and talk to him.  He's got to know that Goemon was in shock from something Fujiko had done.  Damn you!"  She stood up, staring down at him.  "There isn't enough jewels in the world to get him back this time, Lupin.  He's gonna stay away without a very good reason.  He may haunt you now and then but he won't be coming back."

"Haunt us?"

"Shadow you.  Take on tasks for you. That sort of thing?" she suggested with a wave of her hand.  "You know, protecting the kids from afar?"

"Yeah, I know," he admitted bitterly.  "He tried to take a challenge from me recently."

"Well, yeah.  Look at who you're talking about, Arsene."

"Can you please quit calling me that?" he whined.  "He only got to call me that in bed."

"Okay, so you've managed to mess up the only good thing in your life twice," Murami said, moving to her computer.  She pulled up a screen and typed in her codes to check on Xander's records.   She grimaced and checked the other cards.  "He hasn't used a credit card I have authority on for over a month."  She looked at him, seeing the miserable man for what he was now.  "Go find him, Lupin, before he dies from this."

"No one's heard from him," he admitted.  "All we can do is hope that he'll try for the kids."  He stood up and came over to look at the screen.  "When did he go there?"

"Apparently last month," she said dryly, frowning up at him.  "You're quickly losing any chance, Lupin.  Can't one of your people find him?"  He shook his head. "Not at all?"

"Not a single sign of our loon," he said bitterly.  "It's like he's dropped off the face of the earth.  Dawn can't track him.  Marcus can't track him.  He cut a phone call with Marcus abruptly.  He's not at the convention.  He's breaking a promise to the kids."

"Have you thought that he might have been snatched?" she asked patiently.

"I have, but then again no one's said anything about it."

"Well, if they have what they want, why would it matter?" she asked.  "They wouldn't tell the people who might rescue him."

"I'm trying," he defended.  "It's not easy to find Xander under normal circumstances.  We taught him very well."

"I think he had that skill before you ever met him," Rupert said from behind him, making Lupin spin around and pull his gun and Murami back away.  "Put it away, Lupin.  You won't win."  He glared at him.  "What did you do to the boy?"

"Nothing!"  Rupert glared at him.  "You know where he is," he accused.

"No, I know where he's not, which is with you.  Ethan said you're trying to track him.  He can't either by the way.  We got back and found Marcus unconscious on top of his scrying pool."  He looked at Murami.  "I'm Rupert Giles," he said, shaking her hand when it was shakily offered.  "Former Watcher and Xander's former mentor."

"The man who helped screw him up worse," she added.

"That was a pity and a mistake," he agreed bitterly.  He looked at Lupin.  "What *exactly* happened."

"He left.  Lotus said he came back for a few minutes and we found his wallet missing, but then he left again."

"And you did what to precipitate this?"

"Goemon expressed discomfort at his level of mentoring," Murami told him.

"Oh, dear Lord Below!" Ripper moaned.  "How bloody stupid are you people?  We told you Xander was fragile.  Ethan made sure you knew that about him.  You helped him recover from his last kidnaping and from the worst injuries ever seen among humans.   Yet you still think he could do *that*?"

"If I had a way to go back and fix it, I would," Lupin promised.  "I can't find him so I can't apologize.  If you've got a *helpful* suggestion then I'm open to them," Lupin said angrily.  "I don't need to be told how bad I was!"

"Enough!" Murami roared.  "Go fight somewhere else!  Lupin, I'll tell you if I find him.  Out!"

"Yes, ma'am," Ripper said dryly, grabbing Lupin and dragging him outside.  "Ethan sent me to tell you he's not on his own.  He may have contacted an old friend, or he may have hooked up with someone he once loved, but he's not alone.  He's also not normal," he said at the crestfallen expression.  "Ethan said he's not normal, whatever that means."

"That means that maybe he didn't do it himself?" Dawn asked as she strolled up to them.  "Lupin, he's not alone, and I can't tell who the person with him is.  It's not Marcus' father.  It's not anyone from the LA group.  It's someone I know but not, kinda.  I can't figure out who it is."

"Who does it feel like?" Giles asked.

"Willow and Tara when they did things together."

Rupert sighed.  "Well, that's interesting but they're both dead, Dawn."

"I know, which is why I can't identify them," she said with a small shrug.  She looked at Lupin.  "Xander tried to call me once but I was kinda busy and I didn't much make it past 'hello' before my man attacked that spot on my neck again. When I came back to my senses I couldn't trace him."

"So is he kidnaped or just hooking up with someone more appreciative?" Lupin asked, sounding miserable.

"You big git!  He's your man!"  She swatted him.  "Stupid fucking plonker of a human!"  She shook her head, walking away.  "The kitsune won't answer me."

"He'll fucking well answer me," Lupin muttered.  "Thank you, Rupert.  Have fun in England and tell Ethan I owe him."  He headed for his car and the park.  Once he was there, he walked out into the trees.  He knew there was a kitsune portal around here.  They liked to watch the couples neck in the park at night.  He found it finally but of course it was closed.  He pulled out the silver knife that Xander had given him and stabbed it in the middle of the portal.  "Let me the fuck in," he hissed.  He withdrew the dagger and the portal opened, letting out three guards.  "Xander's missing.  Do you have him?"

"The Envoy is not among us," the one in the middle said, and upon closer inspection he had more decorations on his uniform.  "We do not support such actions among your kind, and you are hereby notified that you are not allowed in our realm again for such threatening actions.  This is why we do not associate with the likes of you," he sneered.

"Your Envoy has been kidnaped we think," Lupin told him.  "Since none of the magic workers down here can find him, and they think he's with a dead witch, don't you think that your Lord should know?"

"If he wants to know of it, he already does," the guard said coldly.   The portal opened and a young fox came out.  "What are you doing out of the castle?" he demanded.

"Oh, shut up," he said in flawless surfer, only with a tinge of British accent.  He looked at Lupin.  "Yes, Xander was taken.  No, we can't find him.  Yes, my father is quite pissed at you.  Doubly so since he found out *why* Xander left."

"I was a stupid asshole, I admit it," Lupin said desperately.  "Is he even on this plane?  In this time?"

"Yeah, to both," the younger one told him.  "That's all we can tell.  He's in a shielded place and we can't get much more than he's presently safe and not himself, and not alone."

"Dawn said the magic felt like Willow's and Tara's together," Lupin offered.

"Hmm.  Never having felt them, I can't be sure of that.  I'm supposing she should know," he admitted.  "Then again, aren't they dead?"  Lupin nodded.  "Interesting.  Oh, well.  Guards, back inside.  I can handle him."  He waited until they were alone.  "Father said I should beat you bloody and mentally impaired for life.   Do you actually have a good reason for accusing him of doing something so wrong?"

"We were looking at the actions and not the reasons.  I never thought he was.  Goemon jumped to that conclusion when I brought it to his attention that his son had a very tight and close relationship with Xander, that they were acting secretive and things like that.  I thought maybe they were working on a job together and he might want to go help them, or maybe it was a surprise present for someone's birthday, something like that.  It was Goemon who jumped to that conclusion."

"Yes, but did you stop him?" the young fox asked calmly.  Lupin shook his head, looking down.  "Then I pity you.  I doubt you're getting him back anytime soon."

"Hey, I want to make this right," he said before the fox spirit could disappear.  "I want to apologize, I want to fix this, and I want to give Goemon the chance to apologize.  All I want to do is to find him so we can apologize and then he can leave if he wants to."

"If we could find him, I might tell Lotus, but we can't," the fox reminded him.  "If we find him first, I'll be sure to pass along that message.  For right now, expect a wait."  He disappeared and the portal sealed itself against anyone finding it.

Lupin sighed and trudged back to his car, getting in to go to the convention.  Maybe it would cheer him up.  He walked in and the woman smiled at him but he shook his head.  "We can't find him."

"Of course not.  If the ICPO can't, then I'm sure you can't," she agreed.  She handed him his badge.  "Here you go.  The kids are in the commissary getting a snack with Bix and her new beaus."   She gave him a small smile.  "If you do find him, tell him we need to know if he's still coming to the one in two months.  If not, we could give his room away."

"If I can't find him, I'll be coming with Ishi," Lupin told her.  "That okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," she agreed, watching him walk away.  He was not a happy thief.  Maybe the happier people could help him cheer up a bit.  Xander always came back.  He was like an alley cat that you fed in that regard.

***

Lupin walked up to where Bix and the kids were sitting.  "Did you bury Goemon?"

She smiled up at him and gave him a small hug.  "Not yet.  He's moping by following Ray around as he talks to Sierra.  Did we find out anything?"

"He's not back in time, he's on this plane, and whoever has him has him hidden from everyone.  Dawn said it felt like a few of his former friends, but they're dead."

"As his former associate has proven, death is not permanent," a voice said from behind him.  Lupin turned to look at the owner of the Buffy comic collection that Xander had written his company about.  "How many times did she die?"

"The Master, Glory, and I think one other by now," Lupin admitted.  "Why?"

"Because Jonas was here and looking for you, Lupin," he said calmly.  "He said to tell you that things weren't always what they seem.  He's by the usual booth in the other room.  Go find him."  Lupin nodded and headed off.  "So, Bix," he said with a grin.  "Are you having fun?"

"Quite a lot.  I can see what Xander got out of anime, but this sort of energy is intoxicating."

"Yup, that's why we do these things," he agreed with a grin.  "Have you been asked out to the dance tonight?"  She blushed and shook her head.  "Then let me be the first to request a dance, my dear one.  You should be danced with by every available man that Xander trusts not to hurt you.  Of course, the kids are going to have to be watched by someone else, but you deserve a night off, or more probably."  She chuckled and gave his hand a squeeze.  "Then I'll see you tonight?"

"Yes," she agreed.  "They can handle the children tonight and I can take the train back tomorrow."

"I'll be staying over tonight as well," Ishi told him.  "As an appropriate and family chaperone."

"You're going home, I don't need a chaperone.  I'm quite well aware of my place in this world," she said firmly, glaring at him.  He ducked his head, but continued to stare at her.  "I mean it, Goemon the Fourteenth."

"Yes, Bix," he sighed.  "You should still be chaperoned."

"It's a dance with a few hundred people.  No one would dare hurt her with us there," the comic fan assured him.  "You know us better than that, Ishi.  Xander would never have suggested we meet her if we weren't trustworthy."

"Fine," he agreed, glaring at him.  "She will be on the first morning train or else I will sic my father on you."

"Agreeable," he agreed with a smile.  He kissed the back of Bix's hand.  "I'll see you in a few hours, Bix.  I look forward to our dance."  He jogged off, heading back to his station.

She sighed, smiling at his back.  "They are very nice men," she offered.  Ishi coughed and she glared at him. "I am quite able to chaperone myself, Ishi.  I do not need you acting like Xander."

"Fine.  As long as you know that modern men are creatures of lust who often don't take no for an answer."

She laughed.  "You are so full of it!  I'm your cousin, Ishi, not the family's pet.  I'm also your nanny.  You do as I say or I will get your parents to punish you horribly."  Goemon and Ray both coughed.  She looked at him.  "I have been invited to the dance tonight.  I'll be back tomorrow by train."

Goemon paused, then looked at her.  "Should we have a discussion about modern men?"

She rolled her eyes.  "You antique thing you," she said bitterly.  "I'm well aware of what men are like, thank you.  I was nearly married off to a warrior in my day."  She walked away.  "I'll see you tomorrow, have fun panicking tonight," she called with a wave of her hand.  She stopped back at the front desk because Teddy was there.  "I've been asked to the dance tonight.  Are there any dress code rules?"

Misty, who manned the registration desk, looked at her outfit.  "No, you look wonderful in that.  Xander has wonderful taste in kimonos."  She grinned at her.  "He's also got a room reserved already.  I doubt anyone's going to be using it so I'll make sure you get the keys.  Remember, the guys Xander knows aren't bad guys, but the others can sometimes be mean and cruel.  Especially if they think you're not very worldly or a bit shy."  Bix nodded calmly.  "Then go and have fun.  Stay inside the hotel because the police always work hard around us.  They think that watching anime means you do drugs.  They really don't understand but we had a problem with one of the schoolgirls being arrested because her skirt was too short and they thought she was selling her services."  Bix's mouth opened in an 'oh' position.  "So be careful and make sure you're safe before you go upstairs.  Most of the guys around here are pretty nice but a few are sleezy little slimy brats."

"I'll take that under advisement," Bix agreed.  "Thank you, Misty."

"You're welcome, Bix.  Welcome to the family," she said with a grin.  "If you see Xander, tell him I need to know about the con in two months time.  Lupin said he'd take over his reservation but I wanted him to know that."

"If we can find him before then," she sighed sadly.  "We have no idea where he is."

"Hopefully you can find him," Teddy said, giving her a pat on the arm.  "Does Ishi's father know he has a big crush on you?"

"Oh, yes, and they've been working on it.  He just told me he'd be chaperoning me tonight," she said dryly. She looked behind her, noticing Ishi was staring.  "That kid is going to need to have his head adjusted soon."  She looked at Teddy again.  "He really isn't usually that jealous."

"Hmm, but young men are often odd at that age," he agreed. "I had a crush on a gym teacher for some reason."  He shrugged and waved.  "I'm going to head off.  Why don't you get her settled in for the night?"

"Sure," Misty agreed, putting up her 'I'll be right back' sign and taking her to the desk.  "This is Xander's nanny and she's staying over tonight.  Is his card on record?"

"It is," she agreed, typing in to find the reservation.  "He reserved a suite this time, and had a few things shipped.  He's not here?" she asked Misty.

"No, he's not.  We're not sure where he is.  Not even Interpol knows right now," Misty admitted.  "I'd better get back before someone sneaks in.  Thanks, love."  She hurried back to her seat to intercept the kids trying to sneak in.  "Reservations are required for this part of the convention, boys," she said as she walked up behind them.  "Got one already or do you need one now?"

Bix took the keycard and slid it into the pocket inside her sleeve. "Thank you.   Is this outfit really appropriate for the dance tonight?"

She looked her over. "The shoes might hurt your feet after a while, but you look darling," she assured her.  "I never look that cute in anything."  She grinned and leaned closer.  "If you wanted something more Western, there is a nice set of shops around the corner and halfway up the next block," she shared.  "I'm sure you can get an allowance from Lupin."  She grinned over Bix's shoulder.  "Can't she?  She's staying for the dance."

"So Ishi complained," he agreed dryly, pulling out his wallet.  "I'll want it back and don't use the black card unless you have to, Bix."  He walked away, going to gather the kids and take them around some more.  Before they got bored and had to awe someone.

Bix looked inside and squeaked then tucked it inside her sleeve as well.  "I think I'll head upstairs to hide that."  She hurried to the elevator, then turned and waved with a smile before disappearing.

"She's such a nice girl.  No wonder Xander said to help her," the desk clerk said with a smile in Misty's direction.  "Lupin handed her his wallet," she mouthed.  Misty giggled.  "I'm sure she'll figure it out well enough," she said with a smirk.

***

Lupin walked into the house, stopping when he heard the silence.  "Jigen?"  He heard a baby screaming and sighed, heading up to grab the baby.  He walked past Fujiko's room and found her door open, so he hurried up a bit, finding her in the nursery placating a fussy Alex.  "What happened?"

"Jigen's crashed on his bed after taking a shot," she said bitterly.  She handed the baby over.  "There, yours.  She looks more like you anyway."  She walked off.

He looked at her back.  "If you would want to change your mind, you'd have to work it out with your husband," he said quietly, knowing she heard because her back stiffened.  "We'd probably welcome you back after a bit."  He settled into the rocking chair with the teething infant, letting her rest against his chest.  "How are you today, loved one?  Where are Fred and Sarah?"

Goemon walked in with Fred.  "He was trying to eat the television.  Sarah is downstairs as well.  Who was helping her?"

"Fujiko.  Check on Kenji?  He's being really quiet."

"Of course."  He moved to check on the baby, finding him peacefully sleeping.  "It appears he'll have no problems sleeping most of the time."  He looked at Lupin.  "I am sorry."

"Goemon, we all jumped to a conclusion," he admitted.  "The only problem is that we can't correct it.  Dawn thought she might know the magical signature but it belonged to Willow and Jonas said her grave hadn't been disturbed. We'll find him and apologize."

"Yes, we will," Goemon agreed. "It was my fault."

"Goemon, it was all our faults.  We all thought something funny was going on, you're the one who made that jump.  I thought he was being naughty.  I have no idea what Jigen thought."  He shrugged delicately.  "We'll figure it out once we find him.  There is no way I'm letting this go until we've apologized to him."

"Thank you, Lupin."  Goemon sat down with the little boy, watching as he fell asleep on him. "I feel I've harmed them permanently.  He won't know Xander's careful and gentle love," he said quietly.

"He will, he's had it this far and he'll have it for longer," Lupin said firmly.  "Thinking like that defeats the purpose of finding him."

"Of course you're right," he agreed calmly.  But inside he was worried about such things.  His own children were better off because of Xander.  Everyone else's children were better off because of Xander. Now the youngest ones would miss out on that.  Lupin kicked him and he looked up.  "They won't be the same."

"No, this new one and Ishi won't be the same," he agreed.  "But they'll each be their own child."

Goemon nodded.  "Thank you, Lupin."  He settled in to gently cuddle the little boy until he fell asleep again.  Then he carefully laid him down for a nap and took Alex to put her down as well.  Then they stared at the children, making sure they'd be fine.

Memories, Nothing More Than Memories.

Xander woke up and looked around the room in the dim light.  It was familiar, like he had lived here before.  "Ow," he complained, rubbing the back of his head.  "What happened?"

"You got hit on patrol," a soft voice said beside him in the dark.  "Don't worry, I'm watching you to make sure you're fine.  Go back to sleep, Xan."

"Yeah, I can do that," he agreed, lying back down again. He blinked at the room he could see.  It was so familiar.  "Where am I?"

"You're home," the voice promised.  "Everything will be all right again."

"Okay.  I'm gonna nap now."  He yawned and let himself drift off again.  "Night, Buffy."

"Night, Xander." She got comfortable to watch him sleep off his small head injury.  Nothing more than a bump, but it was necessary.

***

Lupin looked around the house, then at the silent kids.  He groaned.  "Okay, this is unnatural.  Make some noise, please?"

"We're not feelin' the vibe of noisiness," Melissa told him.  "Otherwise we would have already torn up the house twice today."

"It's not my fault," Lupin said tiredly.  It had been nearly two weeks and they still hadn't heard anything from or about Xander.  "We've looked everywhere, guys."

"We know," Lotus reminded him.  "You have updated us each night at dinner.  That doesn't mean we're happy or that we want to make noise."  She looked around again then sighed and went back to her schoolbooks.  Her next birthday was in a few days and it was not going to be a happy occasion.  Neither were Fred and Sarah's since theirs came right after hers.  "We need to shop for Fred and Sarah's birthday," she hissed at Melissa.  Her sister smiled at her and nodded, then went back to her book.

"Yeah, Lotus, what do you want for your birthday dinner?" Lupin asked, desperate to find *something* to make some noise in the house.

"I don't care," she said with a wave of her hand.  "Ask Father."

"At least your father can cook," Savannah offered.  "Mine can't boil an egg."

Melissa giggled.  "That was funny," she agreed lightly.  Jigen had been trying to make them some hard boiled eggs and had ended up boiling them so long the pan had boiled dry, the eggs had exploded, and the things had went everywhere.  "Maybe he should put on another show for Lotus' birthday?"

"It was nice to hear you all laugh," Lupin offered.  He'd do anything, he'd even repaint the kitchen again, if only the kids would laugh and play again.  "Plus, we've got to go over the school stuff tonight.  We've got it narrowed down to two, including the one where Ishi's already got an admirer."

Arsene snorted and shook her head.  "I can't imagine him dating."

"We'd have to help him understand girls," Lotus agreed.

"Hmm, and what to get as apology presents," Melissa agreed.   "Don't worry, it'll come for us soon enough too."

Lupin shuddered.  "Let's try to hold that off for a few years, okay?  Ishi's not ready to start really dating anyone either and you're nowhere near ready."

"Of course," the girls said in unison.

"Thanks, guys.  Trust us, you'll give us mental problems later over that issue."

"That and clothes," Arsene agreed happily.

"Yeah, and clothes," Lupin sighed, looking defeated.  Why did he have to deal with girls?  Boys were so much easier as teenagers.  A bit of rebellion, a bit of youthful stupidity.  No bras.  Instead he might have to steel himself to take his beloved offspring bra shopping sometime in the near future.  Lotus was already starting to sprout.  He firmly went back to his book, ignoring that thought.  She wasn't sprouting, she was too young to germinate.

***

Xander looked at his range scores, then at the gun in his hands.  "Man, what did I get possessed by this time?" he asked in awe.  "I was good before but never this good."  The man running the range course laughed and patted him on the back.  "Thanks, man."  He handed over the gun and looked at his score sheet.  "What is wrong with my depth perception?"

"That head injury seems to have done a bit of damage to your sight," he said, walking around the boy.  He was dressed all in black/gray camouflage clothing but he had come into town to offer his services to Rupert after getting out of the military.  Rupert had told him to take them in and train him, so they were living with him.  This was his basement.  Buffy and Willow were working out in another room Xander knew, and he had opted to try the pretty guns.  "That was good though."

"Thanks."  He grinned and took down his target, going to show the others. "Look what I did."

"Wow, Xander," Buffy said, grinning at him.  "That's great."  There was only one dent in the perfect blowout of the center of the target, one where he had placed it only halfway in the center of the destruction.  "I guess you get crossbow duty from now on."

Willow hugged him.  "You're so damn good."

"Thanks."  He beamed at them and went to tuck the range sheet in his room.  He found the housekeeper and grinned at her, showing off his range score.  "I have no idea what possessed me to let me do this, but I did good."

"Congrats, kid.  Why don't you go watch tv or something?"  Xander nodded and tucked his score sheet away before trotting back to grab the girls for some free time. The 'housekeeper' filled in another notation on her clipboard and went back to checking Xander's monitors.  He had been having nightmares and they didn't know why, but they wanted to stop them or the project would be over with for their two participants.

***

Lupin walked Bix into the next comic convention, smiling at her new friend.  "Here we are."  He let her walk away.  "It's us," he told Misty.  She smiled and looked around.  "Still no word on him," he sighed.  "But I wanted to feel closer to him and Bix had a date."  He waved a hand back at where she was chatting with a few of Xander's buddies.  "So we'll be staying over this time."

"That's fine.  Xander got a suite?"

"Yeah, it's just easier and she's got her own room.  I would have brought Ishi but he's grounded."  He signed them in and then went to the check-in desk.  "I'm here to take up Xander Harris' spot.  I'm his husband."  The guy behind the desk gave him a dirty look, then a double take.  "Yes, I am like that.  It keeps me from having more kids."

"Is Mr. Harris not staying this time?"

"He's missing and we're hoping he shows up," Bix said as she walked over to where Lupin was standing.  "We were coming with him anyway.  That's why he started to get suites."

"And you are....?"

"His nanny.  He's fixing me up with a few of his friends," she said with a small grin.  "They're very nice."

"Oh."  He glanced at Misty, who nodded.  "This is very irregular."

"Yeah, but what else do you expect from Xander?" Lupin snorted, handing over his credit card.  "It was supposed to be me, him, and our student anyway."

He pulled up the name and nodded that all three names were noted.  "Fine.  I can do that since your name is on the registration."  He took the card, running it through the machine, then looked at him.  "An unlimited?"  Lupin nodded.  "Oh."  He handed it back and along with the box to sign.  "There you are.  It was prepaid but this will be put toward anything extra you might need."  He took the box back and finished the check-in, handing over two cards.  "No child?"

"No, he's grounded."

"Ah."  He smiled.  "Have a nice convention, sir, ma'am."  He waited until their backs were turned to shudder.  He headed into the back to tell his manager about this odd one and was assured that Xander, or Lavelle as he was better know, had been very good last year and had protected the convention from a lot of bad things happening. They hadn't even had a theft in the hotel during the convention because everyone knew he was a true fan who would pout after you broke his happy mood by making him kill you.

Lupin ran into Jonas and Paul, giving them a nod.  "Hey."

"You came back?" Jonas asked.  "Without Xander?"

"Yeah," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.  "I couldn't sleep the other night so I went to read through his collection and found out he was missing a few numbers. I was thinking I'd get some of them here for him," he admitted sheepishly.  "That and I brought Bix back.  She's changing."  He looked around then at Jonas.  "Anything new?"

"There is a tad bit of an oddity that Ethan told me to tell you," he admitted.  "Buffy's missing and presumed not to be dead."  Lupin looked confused. "She's wherever Xander is.  We've narrowed it down a bit.  She's in the US."

"They can track them at all?"

"They can track Buffy a bit.  We don't know much else," Jonas admitted.  "All we know is that they're together, in the US, and a few of the old codgers have decided that they've run away together to make more baby slayers."

"I doubt it," Lupin said bitterly.  "Xander said our eleven are more than enough."  The guys looked stunned. "Mine, Goemon's, all of ours together."

"Oh, wow," Teddy breathed.  "Eleven kids is a lot."

"The last one's due any day now," Lupin assured him.  "Then we're due for either a Fujiko ass-kicking by Lotus, or having her disappear into the night."

Bix walked up to him and smiled at the guys.  "Good morning."

"Good morning to you as well, Bix.  That is a very good costume," he said, looking over her outfit. She was going as Kikiyo, Inuyasha's former girlfriend.  "You do her very well."

"Thank you.  I feel like her some days."  She walked around Lupin and took Teddy's arm, walking him away.  "Are any of the booths up yet?  I wanted to see if any of this new series I've found is available yet."

"They're just starting to put things up now," he offered, walking her that way.  "Lupin, go find Paul and he'll tell you who to go to for those," he called back.

"Thanks, Teddy."  He looked at Jonas.  "Now give.  All of it."

Jonas groaned.  "We can't find the exact location and it is Willow's magic.  A very young Willow's magic."

"She's dead."

"She may be, but she's apparently alive and about to enter college by what Ripper's said of the magical aura.  Before she lost Oz was how he described it, but after graduation."

"Hmm.  So why the taint?"

"The hellmouth, what else," he said flippantly, grinning at him.

"But it's dead."

Jonas shook his head.  "It was destroyed, but the power still pools there, Lupin.  It had to have power pooling to be able to open and operate the way it did.  So either they're on a new one that has as of yet to open," he offered.

"Or they're in Sunnydale."

Jonas nodded.  "Exactly, but we can't get into spy satellites to check on Sunnydale."

"Even if you did, there are ways around those," Lupin said thoughtfully.  "It's the best lead we've had yet," he agreed.  "Thank you."

"Not an issue.  Ripper and Ethan both suggested you get Lotus a set of concentration crystals for her birthday by the way.  They said she needs more work on her magical focus."  He smiled as he strolled off, his message done for this trip, and he had earned his all-reasonable-expenses-paid-vacation courtesy of the Watchers Council.  The vampire Ripper had warned him not to put in a reimbursement form for a six-hundred dollar comic again, but he did have a fifty dollar a day spending allowance.  Which was quite generous when combined with his own savings.

Lupin went to call Jigen, leaning against the wall.  "Jigen, it's me.  Yeah, Bix has been taken by the guys already.  No, I talked to Jonas, the guy who works for Ripper."  He smirked.  "Yeah, him.  Anyway, he's got some new information.  I'm going to plug in later tonight and send it to you.  Let Melissa and Arsene look it over.  No, Buffy's missing as well and they're together wherever."  He nodded once.  "I knew that.  We'll deal later, but I'll send you the information tonight."  He hung up and went up to their room to set up Xander's laptop and start to work on things.  He had a few favors owed in the US.

***

Jigen came out of the office and whistled.  "Arsene, Melissa, office now!" he yelled.  They came running down the stairs.  "There's been some new information and Lupin wanted you two to look it over.  It'll be coming in tonight."

"What sort?"

"Buffy's missing and at the same spot," he said, looking at Melissa.  His daughter was a brilliant planner, like her father and Lupin were.

"Well," Arsene said bitterly.  "Is it their own free will?"

"No," Jigen snorted.  "You'd have to meet Buffy to know this, but she's a bitch, kid.  Like you without getting any candy for weeks."  Arsene relaxed.  "So we know that they're being held together."

"When is Uncle Lupin sending it?" Melissa asked.

"By tonight."

"Then we'll help," she agreed, walking Arsene off to think in private.  The other kids would be very upset once they found out so it was better if they came in with information already in hand.  "Who would want to kidnap dad and a slayer?" Melissa asked.

"I don't know, but I don't like this, daddy didn't like her," Arsene reminded her.  "Remember, he went off on a few 'Buffy bad' rants the last time he had to do anything in Cleveland."  Xander had spent two days ranting about her if she remembered right.  Why would he be with her now?  "So, who would want an older Slayer and Daddy Xander?"

"Thinking like Pinky and the Brain, someone who wanted to take over the world.  Thinking like a strategist, he's an awesome weapon if you can get him on your side.  He can teach as well so that means that he can create more awesome weapons.  Namely us," Melissa offered.  "In that case, I'd say either a general who had some hidden agendas or some rich eccentric who wants to take over the world."

"Gee, there's so few of those in the US," Arsene said dryly. "That's probably only five or six hundred people."

"It's narrowed it down from billions," Melissa pointed out sarcastically.  "So now we have to narrow it down further."

"How?"

"I don't know yet, but we will," she promised.  "I'm not losing him either," she assured her, grabbing her hand to hold.  "Even if we have to go help."

Arsene nodded, hugging her.  "Okay.  We'll do it together."

Jigen walked into the room where they were sitting, frowning at them.  "If there's a rescue, you'll be back at the room guarding it with Goemon or Marcus, whichever we don't bring.  You are not going to die going into a rescue situation.  We'd never be able to live with ourselves if you died."  Arsene gave him a long look.  "Who else would embarrass your father at the mall if you died?" he teased, reaching down to fluff her hair for her.  "We'll find him and bring him back, and then we'll make sure he's okay and everything's good."

"Yes, daddy," she said, looking at him like she knew he was going to do just that for her.  "Thank you."

"Hey, we like you guys and Xander.  You're neat because he made you that way."  He smiled at his own daughter, then went back to the office to wait on the download.  Lupin was miserable and he wasn't much better, so they'd have to find Xander as soon as possible.  If only to save all their sanity.

***

A few days later, Lupin paced his office while he thought.  He and the girls had uncovered something but none of it was making any sense.  There was no paper trail, nothing to suggest what they knew was, had to be, going on.  Which meant that it was either deeply covert or it was a special pet project and they were privately funded.  That was probably the worst scenario because a privately funded project had more to lose by being exposed usually, and the fallout was usually more extreme.  This would take some careful planning.  Now if only they had some floor plans and an exact location.  He looked at his computer before sitting down to log into a spies chatroom under his other pseudonym, which got him asked why he was bothering them *this* time.  He typed in the short message then waited.  He had done a lot of work on their side of the fence and they would help him, too many of them knew and owed him.  Finally someone came back with something, noting that he was grumbling about handing this over.  Lupin copied the information into a new window then asked some more specific questions.  One person started a private chat with him, sparing the rest of the spies.

When he had sucked as much information from them as he could, he found Xander's list and sent out a call for help, letting them know that Xander had been taken - and that he had possibly been under mental coercion.  A few people volunteered, including a welcome 'voice' from Bastian and Homer, two of Xander's Lieutenants from the other timeline.  They had a lot more information than he did, including what may have been happening.  He copied it all down and sent them a heartfelt 'thank you'.  He pushed the intercom button on the phone as he logged out.  "Someone knew something!"  Feet came running and soon everyone was staring at him, even Fujiko.  "Xander has been taken by a special group who wants to have better warriors without training them."  He took a deep breath.  "The guy in charge used to be in charge of other special projects in Sunnydale."  Jigen's eyes narrowed under the brim of his hat slightly, but Lupin had noticed it.  "They're still there, thinking that we don't exist and Bastian thinks they may have made him believe he's a teenager again.  The bad thing is that he is being held with Buffy and Willow.  Or a reasonable facsimile of them."

"He thinks he's that young with the aches he's been having?" Goemon asked quietly.

Jigen looked up.  "Marcus!" he snapped.

Marcus appeared, looking very confused.  "What?"

"Your other boss get that potion done?" Jigen asked.  Marcus nodded.  "Did someone steal it?"

"How did you know?"

"Because the guys who have Xander have made him and Buffy believe they're teenagers," Lupin said bitterly.

Marcus let out a string of curses, impressing the hell out of Arsene and her father, while turning to slam his fist into the wall.  "Where are they?" he ground out.  Everyone stared at him.  "Where!"

"We think they're in Sunnydale," Goemon informed him.

"Where would that be?" Jigen demanded.

"The base," Lupin said.  "We'll need plans."

"Oh, allow me," Marcus growled, sending himself to Rupert's office.  He stormed inside, slamming the door behind him, and grabbed him to slam him against the wall.  "The people who have Xander are in Sunnydale," he said coldly.  "They've stolen Ethan's aging potion.  They want to make them theirs."  Rupert went pale.  "You had plans for that base.  We want them."

Rupert nodded.  "Of course you do.  Let me have them found.  May I move?"  Marcus let him go so he moved to the phone, calling the archives.  "Marcus is here.  He needs the plans for Sunnydale and the Initiative.  They think Xander is being held there," he said quietly.  He glanced at Marcus.  "No, I don't think they'll need it," he admitted, turning away again.  "If we had a strike team, I'd gladly send them with them, but we don't at this moment.  They were killed as you know."  He grimaced.  "That should be fine.  They're used to going into hostile atmospheres and coming out alive."  He hung up.  "It'll take them a few minutes to find them, Marcus.  You know what a wreck the archives have become recently."  He looked at the young man, seeing the rage.  "It was not us."

"I know it bloody well wasn't you," he snapped.  "But the people who did this are going to pay for the rest of their very short lives.  For that matter, I'm going to make the end of their very short lives quite painful, as painful as what Xander's mind has to be screaming at him about his children."

"Calm down," Ethan said as he walked in.  "What's going on?"

"Someone knows where Xander is," Marcus said, glaring at him.  "They've made him a teenager along with his former best friends.  He's in Sunnydale."

"Fuck me," Ethan hissed, shaking his head.  "All right.  The records are coming up.  I'm going to head home and then meet you at the manor house.  I don't care about what else is going to happen, make sure all the adults who need my help are there."  Rupert gave him a shocked look.  "I was making that potion to prove I could, Ripper.  Xander's asked me for a bit for his mates so he doesn't have to lose them too soon.  I agreed.  Get over it."  He turned and left, heading back to his house.

Marcus took the folder once it was brought in and disappeared, handing it directly to Lupin.  "Ethan's on his way over," he said quietly.  Lupin and Jigen both looked at him.  "If they used the potion on them, then you both will be getting some as well.  There's time enough so far."

"Agreeable," Lupin admitted.  Jigen gave him a shocked look.  "Sorry, but my knees ache," he admitted. "I'm tired of aching."  Jigen shrugged and they got down to studying the plans.  "How did they get in there when they took the place down?"

"The airshafts and the elevator shafts," Marcus said, pointing them out.  "I've read the account and I've seen pictures of the town.  The building that was sitting on top of it was demolished last year.  That probably leaves something in the woods."  He stood up straight. "I'm going with you."

"That's fine," Lupin agreed, smirking at the shocked look the young man had on his face. "You've proved that you can handle a field situation and that you can control your anger until you have a way to let it out safely.  As long as you can hold to that then we'll let you go.  We'll call one of Xander's contacts to watch the kids with Bix."  He looked at the plans again.  "Half of these are marked destroyed."

"Yeah, but these aren't," Jigen said, pulling them out from under the plans.  "Where was this?"  He let Marcus see.

Marcus considered it, then shrugged.  "Somewhere by he college.  I can't be sure exactly where without a map to overlay it.  It's not next to the hellmouth or the college, but it's nearby.  Maybe Spike would know.  I could call him."

"No, that's fine," Lupin promised.  "We'll deal with that later.  For right now, let's find a way in.  I want a path through that place before anything else.  That's got to come first."  He took the plans from Jigen, looking them over.  "Standard, mostly down three hallways.  It looks like a survialist's bunker," he said thoughtfully.  He noticed someone sneaking into his lap so he hugged Melissa.  "Wanted to help plan?"

"Yes."  She looked at the plans, then grimaced.  "Why are there so many reinforced rooms?"

"I'd say they were necessary to the former owner's point of view," Jigen told her.  "Got any idea?"

She stared at the plans, then up at him.  "We need to know which ones are rooms and which are practice areas or sitting areas.  Uncle Marcus, can you do that?"

"I can try," he admitted.  "Ethan is coming.  If I can't, we can together."

"Can we maybe get one of the demons to look for us?" Melissa suggested.  "A few of them owe Daddy a lot."

"We can try, if we can't scry," Marcus assured her.  "I'll even go ask the putz myself to call someone if we must."

"We should get to LA, that way we can rush up there once we have a plan," Jigen noted.

"Or those cabins," Lupin suggested.  "They're closer still."

"Yeah, but won't that cause attention?"

"Not really.  The guards think we go up with Xander.  Marcus could have been there.  Or Rupert."

"Rupert was there but he didn't register himself," Marcus noted.  "We could say that we're looking for Xander, that he's up there in the woods."

"They keep track of visitors," Jigen told him.  "A clipboard, but still."

"Then can we go to the next town over?" Melissa asked.

"There's no 'we' with people under the age of consent," Lupin said firmly.  "We'll bring him back to you guys, but I'm not taking you into that sort of danger.  We'll get some of Xander's crew to watch you if we can't get Jerry to come help Bix or something."

"We could stay with Auntie Dawn.  That way they know which schools to send their kids to."

"Yes, you can," Lupin agreed, hugging her.  "We'll drop you off in the morning.  Jigen, make the plans to move us.  I want us as close to LA as possible.  Private plane if necessary."  Jigen nodded, heading to do that.  "Melissa, I want your word that you'll be back here making sure that your father has a good place to come heal.  He'll need some of it.  Got it?"  She gave him a long look.  "Sweetheart, they've got guns and they'll want to use them.  I don't want you guys hurt.  I certainly don't want you to die from a gunshot wound.  Therefore you are all staying here, even Ishi.  Here, with Dawn, or wherever."

"Yes, daddy," she said quietly, staring up at him.  "But you had better bring him back or we'll be very upset with you."  She slid down and went to tell the others.

Arsene stuck her head into the office.  "We can get ourselves to Auntie Dawn's, dad.  That cool with you?"

"Yeah, go ahead," he agreed.  "No further than her house and I will be watching, daughter," he vowed.

"Dad, we want him back.  We're smaller but we're not good enough for that yet.  I don't want to face down the military."  She closed the door and went to order the kids around.  They would listen to her.  She went to answer the door when the bell rang, looking at the man on the other side.  "Since when do you use the door?"

"Since I couldn't teleport with these things," he said, walking inside.  "Office?"

"Yeah.  Go ahead.  They're moving themselves closer while they plan."

"Thank you, Arsene.  I look forward to working with you when you're grown," Ethan said as he breezed past her.  He kicked on the office door until Marcus opened it, letting him inside.  "Here, take these.  Janus has agreed not to do the two hours of aging at the beginning.  He's a bit miffed at the moment."

"Can he get us intel about the place?" Lupin asked.

Ethan looked at the plans, then pulled something out of his pocket, handing it over.  "Try that.  It's a current map of the underground tunnels."  He checked his bottles then handed Jigen his.  "Drink, now, it's worse cold.  Marcus, I didn't get you one but give this one to your other Master," he said, handing one off.  He handed the last one to Lupin.  "Xander was given some.  I've felt it.  I've also been interrupting his nightmares.  He doesn't remember you at all, Lupin."  He slumped at the growl.  "I've tried but I can't break it."

"Then we'll have to," Lupin sighed, looking at him.  "Thank you, Ethan.  You're very helpful."

"Only at times and only for those very special few," he reminded him.  "Your family might as well be a family of high priests all on your own."  He left to talk to Lotus, giving her a warning stone so she'd know when someone was coming near them.  "Do not go," he ordered gently.  "You can't win against those sort."

"The fathers?"

"Will live," he promised, patting her on the head.  "Though they will be cranky with injuries when they get back.  Have fun at Dawn's.  She has no idea you're coming.  She and her husband are having a personal moment together," he said with a grin.  He looked at the others, waving them closer. "Shall I move you?"  They nodded, running to grab 'on the go' bags they always kept packed in case, then came back to wait with him.  "The babies as well?"

"Sure, why not," Arsene said with a shrug.  "Bix could use a few days off."  She looked at her twin, who went to gather the little kids and diaper bags with Bix's help.  "Are we portalling in?"

"Oh, yes, dear.  Right into their backyard, right outside her warning shields," he said with a smirk.  "I trust you can break in easily enough. She's a bit out of practice and Zenigata doesn't even bother anymore."  He created the portal once they were all gathered, watching as they walked through with the younger children.  He closed it behind Savannah, who always took the last spot, then looked at Bix.  "Take a few days off, dear one."  She frowned at him so he changed back to the Kitsune's younger son.  "I know, but it's necessary.  The cubs are miserable without him.  Even Father has been."

"Then we welcome your help.  The potion?"

"Does what it's supposed to do.  Ethan's at home though, he let me come up.  We understand why that one was so upset.  We'd be upset too if Xander was ours and he got kidnaped, especially after a stupid argument that shouldn't have happened."  He flicked his tails and disappeared.

Bix sighed and went to get Goemon from his room.  "Cousin?"  He looked up at her, then went back to cleaning and sharpening his sword.  "The plans are downstairs.  The children were moved to Dawn's.  You're leaving soon."

Marcus leaned in and held out the bottle to him.  "Yours, Master."

"I do not need it."

"You'll bloody well take it or I'll shove it down your fucking throat," Marcus ordered.  Goemon stared at him in shock.  "Now!"  Goemon took it and drank it quickly.  "Thank you!  I swear, this desire to not touch magic has gotten out of hand, Goemon.  It's helpful.  Just like in that other timeline."  He walked away, heading back downstairs.  "Goemon took his."

"Good.  The kids?"

"The kitsune pretending to be Ethan sent them to Dawn's."

Jigen looked at him. "That wasn't Ethan?"

"The last time I knew Ethan was a bit taller than four-foot-three and had fewer than two tails," Marcus said dryly.  "He was good, but he is still young."  He crossed his arms.  "What do I need to pack in the way of weapons?"

"Your sword and body armor," Lupin said, looking up at him.  "Pack a small bag as well."  Marcus nodded and jogged off.  Lupin looked up at Jigen.  "Feeling younger yet?"

"I do," he admitted.  "My fingers don't ache now."  He traced a line of pipe.  "That looks promising."

"It does," he agreed.  "It's also very big.  I'm wondering if that's their escape hatch or their main entrance."  He looked up.  "Marcus, call the people in LA, we'll need up-to-date information about Sunnydale."

"Done," he called back.

Lupin went back to his planning, not wanting to have any surprises this time.

***

Marcus walked into the Hyperion, nodding politely at Fred.  "Where is he?"

"In the library," she said, glancing behind her.  "Is this such a good idea?"

"They're using Xander as a test subject and to take DNA," he said coolly.  "It's an excellent idea and they're going to be quite sorry."

"I knew your grandfather's temper had been passed on," Wesley said bitterly.  "What's happened?"

"That military project we kept getting hints about has Xander and Buffy, Father, plus Willow."

Wesley frowned, then shook his head.  "She's dead."

"She's not, and Xander's a teenager again.  We need current information up there and a guide if possible.  Can you call someone or should I?"

"You call demons?" Fred asked, looking confused.  "Why?"

"Because sometimes they're useful," he said with a shrug.  "My master is waiting, Father."

"Fine, I'll get someone to meet you at the edge of town," Wesley agreed.  "With us."

"Fine, whatever, but we'll be killing people, don't be squeamish."  He turned and stomped off, going back to the car.  "He's calling someone and they'll be meeting us at the edge of town, with himself."

"Yay," Jigen said dryly, watching the street as Lupin drove on.  "This would be a pretty drive if it wasn't for the town at the other end."

"Pretty things are often deadly," Marcus noted.  His teacher looked at him.  "They are.  That's why succuba are so effective.  They're very beautiful, but very deadly."  Goemon nodded and went back to his thoughts. "Master, it was a momentary stupidity."

"I shouldn't have doubted him," Goemon noted quietly.

"We all have odd thoughts, yours simply came out," Jigen reminded him.  "Don't even offer him your sword or I'll kill you myself."

"I'm sure we could transform him into something, that way he can watch the children," Marcus offered. "Ethan has a whole shelf devoted to transfiguration and transmogrification."

Lupin glanced back at him.  "Why am I not surprised?"

"Because he's Janus incarnate?" Jigen suggested.

"Possibly," Lupin agreed.  "Thanks for the reminder.  Let's hope the aging thing doesn't happen after we're done."

"It won't," Marcus said surely, smirking at him in the rear-view mirror.  "Janus would never risk Xander.  Speaking of which, speed up.  This is the American highway system and the speed limit is sixty-five."  Lupin sped up, going a bit faster than he should, but they were going just as fast as the rest of the cars so it was probably all right.

***

Zenigata walked into his kitchen later that night and paused when he saw the girl making a sandwich.  "What are you doing here?" he asked, looking confused, but adorably so by the look Melissa was giving him.  "I know you have a home."

"They finally went to rescue Daddy," she said quietly, finishing her sandwich and handing it over.  "Here, it sounded like you worked off some calories and you've got to keep up your strength so Dawn won't have to do all the work when she gets baby envy again."

"You're *all* here?" he asked, his jaw coming open to let out the whimpering noises he was making.  "Why me!" he said, looking up.

"You wanted us to stay at home without any guards?  We'd have to wear out our worry somehow, and that'd probably get you called out of bed and away from the warm Dawn snuggly blankie you use each night if you're a smart man." Arsene asked as she walked in to join him.  "Gonna eat that?"  He took a bite of the sandwich and headed up to complain to Dawn about her friends and relatives.  He found her humming and feeding Kenji.  "Baby envy?" he asked.

"Remembering," she said with a sad smile.  She looked up at him.  "Our kids were hell, Zenny.  We'd never survive having another baby in the house."

"We might," he offered.  "I'm in semi-retirement, just teaching the newer guys."  He came in to share the rest of his sandwich with her.  "The others are lurking downstairs."

"Ishi and Lotus are working out in the attic.  That's what woke me.  Then Kenji screamed to be fed and I had to answer it."  She stroked the soft, dark hair.  "He's so sweet."

"He is," he agreed. "Goemon's kids are very special.  I can't wait to see the last one.  Fujiko's not around?"

"No, she's probably still locked at the other house," she admitted.  "Lotus is having some doubts about not harming her."  She stood up and put Kenji back into the bed he had been lying on, letting him snuggle back into Alex's side.  "There you go," she whispered, walking her husband out.  "Sorry, but they knew the kids would try to go and they're going against the military."  He shuddered.  "They did the deaging thing to Xander and my sister.  They're teenagers again."  She led him into their bedroom and handed over a vial.  "Take it, it's worse when it's cold."

"No."  He handed it back.  "I don't need it."

"You'll take it or I'm shoving it down your throat, Zenny.  I'm not being left alone in another ten years."  He frowned slightly.  "No, it's not a reading, it's a fact.  You've had some health problems. Lupin keeps making you have chest pains.  I don't want to lose you.  Now, eat the thing for me and I'll do whatever you want," she promised.  He shook his head but did hold her, kissing her gently.  "Dear, take the potion."

"I don't need it, Dawn.  I'm not that old."

She made him look her in the eyes.  "Can you honestly say you don't want another ten years with the kids?  With me?"  He shook his head. "Then take the stupid thing! Please!" she begged.  "No one has to know that you're going to be younger."

"It'll be obvious."

She stroked the graying hair with a small smile.  "Plenty of men do their hair these days," she reminded him.  "Please?  I'll do whatever you want if you take the potion."

"Dawn, I don't need it," he said firmly.

"Zenny, you nearly died earlier while you were playing with me.  I don't want to wake up next to you being cold!"  She got away from him and glared at him. "If you won't, I'll have to play dirty.  I know what to put that into and you'll never suspect.  It may deage you further than you want, but it'll be worth it to me."

"You're being manipulative," he warned.

"I am not!  You're going to die on me soon!" she shouted, stomping her foot.  "I'm not losing you!  The kids and I can't stand without you!  I'll go back!"

He grabbed her and pulled her closer again.  "You won't go back," he soothed, holding her tightly.  "I know you won't.  You'd do me proud, Dawn, just like you do now."

"I'm still having the urge to redecorate with all new pretty things," she whispered.  "I won't stop and that'll get me killed, leaving the kids to Lupin or your aunt."

"If you hand my kids to Lupin to raise, I'd have to hurt you," he said smugly. "You're very transparent, but I don't want it."  She kissed him and he groaned, wincing as his occasional pain started again.  "I can live with it."

"Yeah, but I can't live without you," she whispered.  "Please, Zenny.  I can't stand to be alone.  I'd go insane.  Please?"

She pouted at him and he felt himself caving in.  "I don't want the kids to think about magic solving all their problems."

"Considering only one of them has any power I don't think it's a problem," she assured him.  "None of them really know what I do in my workroom except researching."

"Fine," he sighed, taking the potion.  He felt it work and looked down at his hands as the skin firmed back up.  "I think it worked better this time."

"It might have.  Xander and Buffy were deaged to teenagers."  She snuggled back against his chest, feeling his body respond.  "Give it ten minutes and then I'm all yours," she promised with a small grin.

"Good.  This old body could use some attention," he agreed, holding her.  "Want a backrub?"

"That depends, do you want to settle the kids into the living room?"

He reached over and pulled open the door.  "Find a bed that's not occupied and nap!" he called.  Then he closed and locked the door again, smirking down at her.  "Better?"

"Much."  She grinned and snuggled in harder, so he picked her up and carried her to the bed, making her squeal.  "Oh, Zenny!"

"This is something I missed," he admitted, tossing her onto the bed before pulling off his shirt.  "You are taking the pill, right?"  She nodded, taking one in front of him.  "Good girl.  We don't need more kids."  He let his pants fall and dove into his wife's body to pleasure her.  He had missed pleasing her since his health had turned again.  She was so vital and lively.  He felt a tingle of power moving from his lips to hers and pulled back.  "Another one?"

"Nope.  A leak, sorry."  She pulled his head down, kissing him harder.  "No verbal components being said."  She kissed him again.  He laughed and played and teased her.  She deserved it for being so manipulative.  Not that he minded, he didn't want to leave her alone so soon either.

***

Downstairs, Lotus was looking up at Dawn's room.  "She's fully occupied for a bit.  How do we want to do beds?"

"I call the couch in front of the tv," Ishi offered.

Morgan, Dawn's younger nephew, walked in and looked at them.  "Why are you here?"

"Because our daddies had to rescue the other one," Ishi told him. "So we're being babysat by your Auntie Dawn."

"Oh."  He grinned and nodded.  "Okay, I like that."  He gave Ishi a hug.  "You sleep my room?  We have a sleepover?"

"Sure, Morgan," he agreed, patting him on the head with a grin.  "Let me grab my things and we'll come up.  The girls can sort themselves out."  Morgan beamed at him and helped him get his things.  Morgan had always liked him, he was kind of like an older cousin he could look up to in the little guy's mind he guessed.  That and he told better stories.  The girls would find a place to sleep that wouldn't be in the way.  Even if Arsene did pull her 'climbing in with you' trick on them.

***

Lupin looked around the wreckage of the town, holding in his shivers this time.  Now that he knew what had happened it was just as creepy here as some of the ancient prisons he had been in, even though probably no one died here.  He looked at Jigen, who was manning the device to find the nearest underground tunnel location, then at Marcus, who was ignoring his father in favor of stretching his arms.  "No helpers?" he asked Wesley.

"He'll meet us down there," he said grimly.  He walked over with a sigh and opened a tunnel, then grimaced at the sealed area underneath.  "That wasn't like that recently.  I was only up here a few weeks back."

"I'm assuming whoever has Xan did it," Jigen said absently.  "Here, we've got one."  They walked over and opened the portal, heading down through the remains of the basement into the sewer system.  "Surprisingly enough, this doesn't look like its purpose."

"That's because it was never meant to carry waste, only vampires," Marcus said bitterly.  "The Mayor built this town to attract demons and humans for them to snack on."  He looked at the map, then back at his father's companion, Connor.  "Who are we meeting?"  Connor shrugged.  "All righty then."

"Angel's just came back.  He's been lurking around up here for a few days," Wesley said.  "You could try talking to me, son."

"Why?  Did you want cussed out today?" he asked primly.  He forced his lips to quit pressing together, then followed Lupin down into the tunnels.  Goemon was going first this time.  "Lupin?" he whispered.  "Will he be all right?"

"He'll be fine, Marcus.  Just give them a few minutes alone."  He gave him a small smirk.  "I had no idea you knew so many curses."

"Oh, yes, I've taken lessons from each city we've visited. They each have their own unique way of saying 'bugger off'.  I thought about going for a linguistics paper on that fact but then I'd have to explain how I had heard so many versions of that popular phrase and most of the teachers I've seen don't really want to know that much about my life."  He smirked at him.  "My history degree is going quite well as well.  I'm giving a speech in a few days if you'd like to attend."

"Hey, if we're not busy, I'll gladly go," Lupin agreed.  "You're a good researcher, Marcus, we appreciate the hell out of you enough that going to a dry and boring lecture won't hurt us.  Will it, Jigen?"

"I've heard him speak and he's not that dry.  A bit boring, but then again it is history, boss."

"My God, that was nearly a compliment," Marcus teased. "Are you ill?"

"Nope, not yet.  I'm waiting to see how Xan is before I get sick," Jigen said, smirking back at him.  "Yo, vampire!" he called out.  "I'm tired of this haunting."

"Fine," Angel sneered as he came out of another tunnel.  "Are you trying to let them hear you?"

"No, but they're supposed to be on the other side of the city."

Angel grimaced.  He didn't want to admit they were right.  "Wes, how is my office?"

"Doing quite well.  Connor has been wonderful in his protection," Wesley praised.  "He's quite a manager when he gets past the point of grunting and pointing at things he wants.  Fred quickly broke him of that habit by dressing him in a caveman's outfit one night.  It took him a few days to figure out what she had done, but then he finally got the point and made himself quite serviceable."

"Ya know, a 'he's okay and the office hasn't fallen in this week' probably would have sufficed," Connor said dryly.  He glanced at Marcus.  "So, he's your old man?"

"Yes, he was about the age I was when I joined Lupin when the Watchers told him to spurt into a cup and then picked out who my mother should be."

"Yeah, people who want to rule the world seem to have ideas like that," Connor agreed, grimacing at Wesley's back.  "It's hard to image chaos man there as one of them."

"Oh, I was," Wesley said bitterly.  "I was young though."

"Excellent reason for being an ass, father.  Not good enough for myself, but I'm sure my sister must like it."

"Marcus, had I been able to, I would have liberated you and your sister from those horrible bitches," Wesley said firmly, turning to look at him.  "I did not want to leave you there, I had no other option."

"Because your job came above and beyond me, I knew that," Marcus assured him.

"No, because my life was not safe, son.  Think about what I ran into in this town alone!"

"Father, it wouldn't have mattered much to us.  After all, by the time you got sent here, I was already chained to a floor most every afternoon to keep me from killing a bully with my abilities."  He walked past him, glancing at the map.  "Angel, how much farther?"

"Not much," he complained.  "What is going on?"

"These people took Buffy and Xander.  We're going to get them back.  Pretty self- explanatory," Jigen said dryly.   The vampire glared at him and he stared back.  "You know, we should probably thank you.  Without you and Wesley going evil again, we would have never had Xander as ours.  For that, you won't die by my hand this time."  He glanced at Lupin.  "How much farther?"

"Another tunnel, this one smaller in diameter it looks like," Lupin told him.

"It is smaller, but not in height," Angel complained.  He made the turn and brought them to the side entrance.  It was sealed but they had said they could deal with that as long as they could get inside.  He watched in shock as Marcus stepped forward with his sword drawn.  "You can't expect to cut that with a sword," he moaned.

Marcus sneered at him then took a trial swing to judge his clearance.  Then he grunted as he cut through the center of the sealed door.  It fell apart, clanging onto the floor.  "You were saying?" he sneered.  He got out of the way, letting Lupin and Jigen lead the way.  Lupin and Jigen were striding down the halls like they owned them, guns ready and out, and trademark sneer and non-expression in place and ready to be used on someone dumb enough to take what was theirs. His and his master's objectives were to find Xander, and if possible the other two, and to get them out of there while Lupin and Jigen 'threw a fit on them' as they had said.  He had wanted in on that but he knew the older men had more claim of vengeance since they had taken their lover.  He walked in, listening to the sound of an alarm somewhere.  Someone had an alarm clock.  He headed that way, checking on those rooms.  It definitely wasn't his friend so they were sliced open quietly and he moved on.  Goemon was following him and he knew he was checking his technique.  He paused when he heard the whispered hiss of the sleep spell, casting a counter for their party, or at least those who had come from France with them, plus Connor.  They moved down another hall, tripping an alarm, but not much caring at the moment.  They finally found the three rooms that housed the three children, and his master cut open the middle one.  Buffy squealed as Marcus walked in. "Hush," he ordered calmly.  "Rupert sent me."

"Giles is okay?" she asked, bouncing up to hug him. "Are you a Watcher?"

"Bloody hell no, woman," he said bitterly.  "Why would I want to be a stuffed-up prig of an amoral, bitchy creature.  We were sent to free you and to give you to Angel, plus to pick up Xander."

"But Xander likes it here.  So does Wills."

"That's fine, I'm sure he'll want to know what's going on," he said patiently.  "Come.  Which is Xander's and which is Willow's?"

"Xander's on the end," she said, pointing at the door next to the corner.  "He said his nightmares were getting worse so he moved down there."

"I have no doubt.  Pack anything personal you'll want to keep," he ordered, moving to get that door but his master was already headed that way so he freed Willow.  He put her over his shoulder and walked back out, tapping his mike.  "I've got the girls.  Goemon is going for Xander."

"Head back to the tunnels once you have him.  We'll be out shortly," Lupin ordered.  "We've found the main command center and we're not happy with the people trying to burn the records."

"Records?" Buffy asked, her nose wrinkling.

"Yes, dear, they've been fucking with your head now for weeks," Marcus said patiently.  He took her arm and walked her back to the tunnels.  "Connor."  He came back to help, taking Willow from him.  "Here, this is Connor, he's a relation to Angel and he's protecting LA these days.  He works with Cordelia sometimes.  Stay with him."

"Who are you?" Buffy asked him, looking really confused.  She had been asleep and the explanations she had been getting weren't quite helping her wake up yet.

"I'm Marcus Wyndam-Pryce," he said dryly.  He grinned. "Don't worry, we'll figure all that out later, after we get you topside and checked over."

"But he said Sunnydale had been hit with a big bomb, we're sheltering down here."  She wrapped her arms around her.

"No, dear.  That's not what happened," Connor said, taking her to lead her away.  He could tell the way they had come, he had marked it.  He had to let her go when she saw Angel and ran to hug him.  "Fine, hug the vampire," he said dryly.  At least David would be waiting for him at home with his sprained ankle propped up. Connor heard a scream and looked back but shrugged it off and carried his burden outside with his father's helpful dragging of the slayer.

Goemon tapped briefly on Xander's door before breaking the lock and walking inside.  He saw the boy with a gun in his hand, backed into a corner.  "Put it down, Xander.  We're here to rescue you."

"I don't know you!" he said angrily.  "I'm liking it here!"

"I'm sure you are, but you were training with me and you liked it much more.  It's much more helpful."  He gave him a bland look.  "Ethan and Rupert sent me, Xander.  Come along. Pack whatever you want and all will be explained to you soon enough."

"Ethan and Giles are working together?" he asked, looking really confused.  "Why?  Did the world end already?"

Goemon shook his head but he was smiling faintly.  "No, Xander, it was more that Ripper came back and showed them both what they needed.  Come, pick up your things and lets go."

"But I like it here."

"Yes, but the children are waiting on you," he said calmly.  "As is Arsene."

"Is he my friend?"

"Boyfriend," he admitted.  Xander's mouth opened, then he shook his head quickly.  "We know they've done things to your mind.  That's why you don't understand.  All I ask is that you come with us and hear us out.  Then if you must you can leave for a bit to figure things out again."

He looked around his room.  "I have to pack."

"Hurry up.  Take only the essentials.  You have a house-worth of things back at our house."  He helped the boy pack his clothes and the weapons lying around his room.  Then he walked the boy out, having to drag him through the doors.  "Come along, Xander."

"But the bomb," he whined, dragging his feet.

"It was not a bomb.  That was a lie to keep you down there.  The town was destroyed a few years ago by the hellmouth imploding as you told it."  He drug him all the way back up to the surface then turned him over to Marcus before heading back down in to help his cohorts.  He found Lupin tying his tie around the gunshot wound in his thigh.  Jigen was wounded on the arm, and there was a large standoff with a good dozen guards.  He started to deflect bullets with his sword and smelled the unmistakable smell of someone wetting themselves.  He growled and moved forward, intending to end these creatures for good!  They had hurt his family and he would be done with them.

"Goemon, the bomb," Jigen called. "We've only got ten minutes!"

Goemon sliced the last few guards then followed them out, letting Lupin lean on him. "Is everyone else out?"

"I haven't seen Wesley," he admitted. "We left him back in the office with the bomb."

"Wesley!" Lupin yelled.  "Now!"  They hurried toward the surface, Lupin watching his watch instead of his step.  They made it up there and had about two minutes to wait and pick off guards and vampires before the explosion shattered the ground.  He winced and sighed.  "I think Wesley must have gotten out."

"He could have went magically," Marcus assured him.  "If not, the family fortune is mine again."  He shrugged as he walked over to where Xander was sitting, staring at the hands that had just staked six vampires, and he wasn't even sweating.  He had checked as soon as he had sat down.  "Are you all right, Xander?"

Xander looked up at him.  "No!  How did I do that?"

"You train with my master, Goemon," he said, pointing him out.  "You're a wonderful assassin, Xander. You have been now for a few years."

"Years?  I'm only sixteen, man!"

"Oh, shit," Jigen said, staring at him.  "You are?"

"You are?" Lupin parroted.  His eyes were comically wide as that information seeped into the other parts of his mind and let him see exactly how bad this was going to be for him.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  Why?"

Jigen looked at Lupin.  "Is he legal?"  Lupin whimpered and shook his head.  "Fuck!"  He sighed and lit up a cigarette, taking as many puffs as he could before he felt light-headed.  Then he handed over the half that was left.  "I'm doing better."

"I noticed.  Good job," Lupin praised, patting him on the back.  "Okay, kids.  Let's clean us up.  Xander, we're heading back to France tonight.  Are you going to be okay to travel?"

"I live in France?  Like the home of rude, smelly, nasty people?"

"Home of every comic convention that you've ever wanted to go to," Marcus corrected.

"I like comics?"

"Oh, shit," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "We've got to fix that.  Did anyone get the records?"

"If I know my father, he took them with him," Marcus said dryly, pulling out Xander's phone to call his second home.  "Ripper, did my paternal unit drop off some records with you lot?  Yes, about that.  No, we need to know what's been done to Xander and Buffy and Willow."  He looked at the girl.  "If she's not, then she's had some excellent plastic surgery," he admitted.  "Yes, LA would be fine.  No, Xander's sixteen and just asked if he liked comics."  He hung up and looked at his boss.  "Ripper and Ethan are headed for LA with Dawn.  We need to get back there before someone comes to investigate."

"Too late," a voice called.  A dark-skinned, bald man walked down the crater to where they where gathered.  "What the hell is going on?"

"Easy, we're rescuing people from the evil bastards who wanted to use Xander," Marcus told him.  "I would have thought someone might have told you, Inspector Banks."

"Do I know him too?" Xander asked.

"He's kinda cute," Buffy offered, grinning at him.  "Hi, I'm Buffy," she said, holding out a hand.

"Inspector Myron Banks, ICPO," he said, shaking it.

"Oh, you're a cop?"

He smiled gently and she relaxed again.  "I doubt you've ever done anything that would warrant Interpol watching you, young lady.  However, most of the rest of these people aren't as lucky."  He looked at Xander.  "I know you're playing a prank, Xander.  So quit."

"Am not!" he protested, letting Marcus help him to his feet.  "Who are you?"

"You see him all the time at the comic and anime conventions," Marcus said patiently.

"What's a convention?  Is that like where all the geeks get together to wear odd costumes and be geeks?"  Marcus nodded, smiling at him.  "But I'm not like that!  I'm not a geek."

"Sure you're not," Buffy said, talking down to him.  "Who was it that *had* to have the new Captain America a few weeks back?"  She gave him a long look.  "You are so much a geek your blood type is geek, Xander.  Now give it up."  She grinned at Myron again.  "Why are you chasing him?  He's only sixteen."  Lupin moaned again.  "Is he gonna live?  Because I know how to tie a great tourniquet."

"No, he'll be fine," Jigen assured her.  "Come on, let's get back to the car.  Goemon, you sit with Xander, I'll take front and Lupin can wait back there with you.  Marcus, you can drive.  Thank you for your help, Connor.  You seem pretty cool."  Jigen looked at Lupin.  "Do you think the download went through?"

"I know it did.  I checked before we ran out after those guards.  It was done then.  They were using a really pitiful system.  I'm sure the girls and Oz can crack it easily."  He walked over to Xander, tipping his chin up.  "We'll do whatever we have to do to get your memory back, Xan.  I swear to you on thieves' honor."  The young man gave him a long look, then nodded once.  "Now, let's get back to LA.  We've got a flight to catch and it'll be better if you're surrounded by familiar things.  Besides, we've got to protect Zenigata and Dawn from the kids."

"You have kids?  Do I play with them?" Xander asked.

"And then some," Jigen sighed.  "Car, Xander, please."  Xander nodded, taking his bag that way.  "Marcus?"

"Coming."  He looked at Willow, then at Buffy, then at Connor.  "I wish you luck."

"Me too," he agreed dryly.  "Make sure Ethan doesn't leave something behind this time.  Last time he left an incubus and it upset David horribly."

"Only one?  He had been contemplating a few," Marcus said with a grin and a wink.  "I'll be by soon.  Keep David happy."  He jogged after his teammates, getting into the front seat to drive.  "Which way again?"  Jigen pointed.  "Of course, the road," he said, shaking his head quickly as he started the car and headed up the road to edge of the crater.  Jigen pointed on his side so Marcus headed that way sedately.  "Do we have to go back to LA?"

"No, I'm sure Ethan could find the cabins," Lupin offered.  "We could say he's Xan's kid."

"I do not think he needs to be in this den of evil for much longer," Goemon said firmly.  "He needs to go to the house so he can heal."

Xander looked at him, then pressed his lips together for a second.  "What did you do that was so wrong you forced the stick up your butt to twist?"

Goemon coughed, blushing a bit, but he did look at the young man.  "I was confused and made a very bad accusation against you that I knew was wrong when I said it," he admitted.   "I was jealous and upset and you paid the price for it."

"Okay...."  He considered it for a second, then nodded once.  "And is that an apology?"

"I can wait to give you a real one until you remember," he offered.  "Do know that I did not mean what I asked, I knew better even then, I was confused and upset."

"Okay then."  Xander nodded, looking over at Lupin, who was crashed in the other seat.  "What about you?  Did you send me away?"

"No, Xander, you ran away," Lupin said quietly.  "You were hurt and pissed and you took off for a bit to cool down, and then you were apparently kidnaped."  He shifted with a small grunt of pain and a moan.  "We're all damn sorry we let Goemon say that thing, but we didn't know he was going to.  We want you back, Xan."

"What was I doing?"

"You were taking all my son's time and attention," Goemon admitted. "I asked you if you had a closer relationship than what you had admitted to."

"In other words, you accused me of sleeping with your son," Xander said bitterly.  "Am I?"  Goemon shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"Quite.  My son got so mad at me he swore at me.  I knew it then, but I was not thinking clearly or else I never would have let out something so outlandish.  I know you are not like that with my son, that you only like those who are older and more experienced, and that you would never harm a child, especially not one you thought of as your own."

"Then why would you think such horrible things about me?  If you're my friends, shouldn't you like me more?"

"You've been kinda odd and a bit distant recently, Xander, and you were spending a lot of time with the kids.  Goemon had an odd thought pop up because of those and that's what his mind decided must be happening.  Sometimes the parental part of the brain takes over," Jigen explained.

"Oh.  Okay.  And we all know I'm not like that?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  Thank you.  Now what?"

"Now we go home, work on your age issues, and your memory," Lupin told him.  "It's got to be in there somewhere."  He looked at the back of Marcus' head.  "You probably could speed up a bit, a bicycle just passed us," he said dryly.

"The road's uneven and I don't want to break an axle or something," Marcus retorted.

"Which one are you again?" Xander asked.

"I'm Marcus.  We're the others' students together."

"Oh.  Okay.  When did you learn how to drive?"

"Last year.  Jigen made you give me driving lessons."

"I drive?" Xander asked, sounding happy about that.  "Cool, I drive!"

"And ride a motorcycle," Jigen told him, glancing back at him.  "Calm down.  Lupin does most of the driving in the group."  He faced front, pointing out a large pothole.  Marcus let out a frustrated sigh and he dropped his hand.  "Fine, I'll leave you alone.  Just don't kill us all."

"I'd never do that," Marcus said impatiently.  "Though the urge seems to be striking.  This road is very dark."

"Headlights on?" Lupin asked.

Marcus grunted but he did check.  "Yes, thank you," he said dryly. "Even on brights."

Xander looked out the front window.  "That's not a natural darkness.  You can't see the stars but there's no clouds."

"I swear to the Gods that if I have to fight a demon at this moment, they're going to be sorry they were ever hatched," Marcus muttered.  He got a bright clue and placed an illumination charm on the car, making it light up.  It was much easier to see now.  "Ah that's better," he said in relief.  Now he could see.

"If the cops stop us because of that, we're all in deep, you know that, right?" Lupin said patiently.

"You can walk," Marcus snapped.

"Sorry, you're doing good.  Remember to cancel it once we hit civilization," Lupin said quickly.  "Man, I thought my grandfather was a touchy driver," he muttered, sharing a look with Jigen.  Who laughed and shook his head.  "Marcus, can we say patience?"

"Can you say sexless," Marcus snapped back.  "Your lover is underaged."

"How did he deage fifteen years?" Jigen asked.  "Ours only went ten."

"I have not a clue," Marcus admitted, digging out his phone to hand over. "He's the last one I called."

Jigen hit the send button, dialing that number.  "Hey, Ripper, question," he said in greeting.  "How did Xander deage fifteen years.  No, sixteen."  He grimaced.  "Thanks."  He looked back at Lupin. "He's gone walking through the house shouting for Ethan to quit playing with the other vampires."  He listened to the surly grunt. "How did Xander deage to sixteen?"  He waited through the shocked silence and the spluttering.  "Yeah, fifteen years, not ten.  How?"  He listened as the man grabbed a few things to flip through, coming up with a 'not a clue'.  "Okay then.  Connor's getting his crew back to his place with Buffy.  We're taking Xander back with us right now.  No, Goemon just explained it and apologized.  Yeah, really to the house.  We'll let Marcus and Bix pick up the kids tomorrow.  Why?"  He smirked.  "That's fine though.  He needs the chaos, right?"  He hung up, looking back at the trio in the backseat.  "Ethan's not sure how he deaged that far but he's looking into it.  Then he'll work on fixing Buffy afterwards.  He's leaving Willow alone for now.  The kids are driving Pops nutso.  Totally, he came out with his hair standing on end like he had been tugging on it again."  He smirked at Xander. "Don't worry, we'll get it fixed soon enough."

"Doesn't your dad like the kids?" Xander asked.

"Pops is a nickname, he's not any of our parents," Goemon said quietly.   "He asked?"  Jigen nodded.  "How did he know?"  Jigen glanced at Xander.  "Point."  He looked at Lupin.  "I'm sure we'll be seeing a happy inspector in a few months."

"Whoa, another cop?  Are you guys bad guys?  I thought I hunted demons or something."

"Well, you do," Jigen admitted.  "Don't worry about that right now, Xander.  You're not wanted by the cops.  Got it?"  Xander nodded quickly.  "Good.  Marcus, we're heading onto the main road, you can go faster now that the destruction is over with."  Marcus sped up with a sigh.

"Light spell," Lupin reminded him.

Marcus stopped the car and got out, walking up the road to scream.

"Okay then, we'll let him destress.  Jigen, can you drive?  I'm in pain."

"Sure, boss."  He got out, leaning on his door.  "Hey, bright boy.  Want me to drive?  Lupin can get critical at times."

"No, really?" Marcus said bitterly.  "Go ahead.  I left the keys in there.  I'll get back home myself so I don't have to deal with any of you complaining about my driving.  It's not like I've been doing it for over a year!"

"You can have more practice when we get home, kid.  Get in.  Xander might need you."

Marcus slumped and came back, taking Jigen's seat so he could drive.  He buckled in then turned partially around.  "How are you feeling, Xander?  A headache?  Any car sickness?"

"No, I'm pretty good," he admitted.  "Do I usually get carsick?"

"Not usually but sometimes your sinuses bother you and you do get a bit queasy.  Tell me if you do and I'll make Jigen stop so you can rest for a bit."

"Sure.  You're really kinda nice.  I usually like you, right?"

"Oh, definitely.  We spar together all the time," Marcus assured him with a small smile.  "Don't worry, we'll have someone fix this for you before your head starts to hurt."

"Sure.  Can I nap?"

"Go ahead," Lupin said soothingly.   He looked at Marcus.  "I'll do a review of high-speed driving with you when we get back, while my thigh heals."

"Yes, Lupin," he said with an eye-roll.  He turned around to face forward.  "The other direction, Jigen, unless you want to head North."

Jigen turned the car around and headed back the other way, heading for the signs that said 'LA'.

***

Dawn looked up as she was pounced by the vampire Ripper, scowling at him. "Get your cold, dreary body off me," she complained.

He laughed and smirked at her.  "Oooh, should I find a heating pad?"

"We have stakes around here," Zenigata said from behind his newspaper.  "She did teach me how to use one.  Are you here to pick up the kids?"

"No, they'll be doing it later tonight or early tomorrow morning.  We just heard from them, they have Xander back.  He's sixteen," he said smugly.  The newspaper came down and the inspector looked very interested in that bit of news.  "Plus he has no memories of any of this.  Didn't even realize he had kids from what we've heard."  He smirked at them.  "Ethan wanted to know if you had his book on memory charms, Dawn."

"Of course I do.  It's in the study, second locked bookcase beside my desk."  He nodded and headed that way so she looked at her husband.  "Try it," she said, knowing what he was thinking.  "Lupin will shoot you for real this time."

"If he's sleeping with someone underaged, then he's in violation of the law," he said happily. "I can arrest him on that."

"There's no one to make a complaint," Dawn warned.  "Plus, I doubt he's sleeping with Xander at the moment.  He wouldn't take advantage of him.  A young woman yes, but not Xander.  Besides, a sixteen-year-old Xander was a geeky, skinny thing with muscles."

"Who looked good in a speedo," Oz said as he walked in.  "Sixteen?"  Dawn nodded, giving him a small grin.  "Poor guy."  He shook his head. "Wish I was, then I wouldn't be furry now and then."  He looked back behind him as Ripper came back whistling happily. "Find something?"

"My diary."  He waved it. "And his book.  Thanks, Dawn.  He wanted a call whenever you had a few free moments to help him brainstorm.  My other self is frustrating him again.  He's ready to stake him to the lawn naked for a bit.  Again."  He winked and disappeared, heading home.

"Again?" Oz asked, shaking his head.  "We should have the 'protect our librarian better' speech with Ethan."  He looked at Dawn.  "We're done."

"Good.  Ethan could use the notes."

"He might, but they weren't keeping them in the computer files."

"None?" Zenigata asked.  Oz shook his head.  "Nothing at all?"

"Nope.  I'm guessing he was either behind or doing it on paper.  In which case Wes probably saved them.  It's interesting, he wanted to know how Xander did all that, and then was going to breed him to Buffy and Willow to get two great warriors for him to raise."

"The boy would have kicked his ass," Zenigata said dryly.

"Only if he was alive," Oz pointed out.  "Not much reason for him to be after sucking him dry of sperm a few times."  He sat down between them.  "From what little he did note, he was about two weeks away from doing that to Xander.  He wanted the first one to be a warm transfer and neither of the girls was in the right part of their cycles."  Dawn shuddered and her husband reached across the table to grab her hand to hold.  "His last note was that he was frustrated.  Xander had always seemed so powerful and super-strong before but the deaging seems to have taken some of that."

"More likely it's the lack of memories.  The reason Xander's so strong is because he's survived all he's went through," Zenigata pointed out.  "Half of his strength is stubbornness."  The younger people looked at him.  "Seriously.  I've had to chase a few people who have lived through horrific events.  They're always harder to catch because they've lived through horrible things that make your soul go numb.  It hardens them to surviving even though everything is taken away from them.  That's why Xander's so hard to catch and why he can and does so much within the group.  Not because Lupin prompts him, but because he's making backup plans."

"He does," Dawn agreed, shocking Oz.  "While I was still there, he was always studying something because he *knew* David and I wouldn't take it on.  He's learning languages as far as the first level so they don't have to deal with it.  He learned accounting so we didn't have to deal with it.  Even back in that other timeline he had backup plans.  Including his anime company and a security company that was totally separate from his real life."  Zenigata nodded, thinking about it.  "The guy is not gonna be caught for some dumb mistake, some bimbo with big tits, or even for those who want to catch him.  He'll die on the job."

"It's more likely he will now," Zenigata agreed.  "Before he had the stabilizing influence of being older and having lived longer.  Now he's a teenager again.  Lupin and Jigen can't sleep with him or they're in trouble and they know it.  They can't really stabilize him to the point where he had been.  We're about to see the return of the Lavelle who went through multiple whorehouses in one week and wore a good number of prostitutes out."

Oz shook suddenly.  "I can't imagine Xander being like that.  He was always one of those guys who wanted affection."

"Which he gets, but not that way anymore," Zenigata said happily.  "That'll make him easier to catch."

"If he doesn't have to retrain everything," Dawn pointed out.  "That means they'll be spending more time at home for at least another six months."

"It's been too long, Lupin will go on a job soon," the inspector said wisely, going back to his morning paper.  "Dawn, are you all right?  You looked pale."

"I'm fine," she promised, looking around.  "Where are the kids?"

"Arsene and Melissa were helping me," Oz admitted.  "I think they went to play in the backyard with your kids.  Either that or Ishi and Lotus are running katas and they're all doing that."  He stood up and pushed back down his shirt.  "Need anything since I'm up?"  Dawn held up her coffeecup so he refilled it for her.  "Anything else?"

"Make sure none of the kids have died yet," Zenigata told him.  "They put that horrible picture in the paper."

"I saw," Dawn said with a small smirk.  "I think you looked adorable all messed up from me."  She smirked at him when the paper lowered again.  "You did."

He 'humph'ed and then took her coffee to get a few sips of it.  "We need to talk about redecorating our bedroom, Dawn. I feel like I'm floating in mid-space."

"You don't like the dark blue theme?"  He shook his head.  "Hmm.  Lighter blue? Something in the medium range?"

"Or green," Oz suggested, walking away.

"Green is a good color," he agreed.  "Maybe a light green.  Or some tan.  I do like tan."

She patted him on the hand, taking back her cup.  "I'm not painting our bedroom the color of your overcoat, Zenny.  It looks like dried mustard or that nasty diaper filling color.  Not a chance in any hell."  He frowned at her.  "You should change overcoats anyway.  You said yours had ripped pockets."

"We'll see."  He folded the paper and stood up with a stretch.  "Done?"  She nodded, gulping the rest of her coffee.  "Good.  Then let's get to work on your half of the closet.  You really don't need all those catsuits anymore."

"Tough."  She beamed at him.  "You know I still wear them."

"I do," he agreed with a blush.  "Quite shocking, especially when the Commissioner walks in to find you leaning me against the wall and starting to mug me in that red one."  She leered at him.  "Dawn, you nearly gave him a heart attack."

"Did not.  He said we were cute newlyweds.  That's why he told us not to have sex in the changing rooms like everyone else does."  She reached over to tweak his stomach, grinning at him.  "I'm not giving up my wardrobe unless you're gonna buy me a whole new one, Zenny.  I like my catsuits.  You like me in them."

"Yes, but I'd like to have them kept around the house," he complained.  "Going out to the store in one makes people stare at you.  I'll have to get jealous."

"Why?  I'm not giving it away, babe, or selling it.  The only person who gets me now is you."  She tweaked him again, grinning when he scowled.  "Are you jealous that the big, butch, smoking woman hit on me?" she teased.  He nodded, pulling her up and around the table to kiss her as hard as he could.  "Hmm.  Maybe we should go stare at the bedroom to figure out what color we can both stand."  He smirked and led her upstairs to spend some alone time with her.  It was his favorite thing about their marriage of convenience.

My Life?

Xander looked at the front of the main hideout in awe.  "Wow.  I live here?"  Lupin nodded, opening the door.  "Why?"

"Because I live here and you came to be our student," Lupin reminded him, walking him inside.  Marcus had split off to grab the kids while they had went for dinner, so the kids were waiting on them.  "Remember what we said about the kids?  Well, they're here and waiting on you.  You don't have to panic or anything, they'll only want hugs."

"Sure.  I like hugs," Xander agreed, following him into the house.  He stopped to pet a cat that was sitting on top of a priceless vase, then headed on so Jigen could get his cat off there behind their backs.  They walked into the family room and he paused.  "Wow, there's a lot of you," Xander said, looking at Lupin.  "There's a whole lot of them."

"We're taking over the world, dad," Melissa said with a wicked grin.  "You said so."  She got up and gave him a long hug.  "I missed you."

"Thanks, kiddo.  I probably would have missed you too," he noted, patting her on the head.  "You're mine?"

"They're all yours to some degree or another," Jigen said, coming in with his cat on his shoulder.  Lupin gave him an odd look.  "She insisted."  He looked at the other kids.  "He won't break if you hug him."  They ran and grabbed Xander, bringing him to the floor to hug him.

"Wow, you guys are really strong," Xander praised, finally getting free when the cartoons came back on.  He stood up again, looking at Lupin.  "Where's my room?  Maybe it'll help me remember.  That's how it works on tv."

"It's upstairs.  Goemon?"  Goemon walked to the doorway. "Can you put Xander in his room?"

"Of course."  Goemon led the boy upstairs.  "There are a few odd things in there.  If you have any questions, you only have to ask."

"Sure.  Thanks, man."  He gave him a pat on the arm as he walked inside, looking around.  His first stop was his closet, frowning at the women's clothes.  "I'm married?"  He looked around, there was no signs of a wife.  No perfume/makeup/tampons/pictures/stray shoes or anything that might hint to a wife or a girlfriend.  Then again, that big guy had said that Arsene was his boyfriend.  "I like to wear women's clothes?" he asked himself, looking really confused now.

Downstairs, Lupin was listening to the kids as they chatted about Xander in the other room.  He could just barely see them through the open door.

"You know, he's only eight years old than us now," his beloved daughter said.  "And he's really pretty.  I wouldn't mind having him if daddy can't have him back."

Melissa gave her an odd look. "Lupin, don't get off on my father!" she said, looking disgusted. "That's nasty!  You wouldn't like it if I did it to your dad."

"Well, no, but my dad's not young and hot.  Xander is."

"He's still your uncle," her father called.  "Do not say that in front of the others, Arsene."

"Yes, daddy," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "But he is!"

"Ick!  Ickickickickickickickickickickickickickickick!" Melissa shouted, holding her fingers in her ears.  "Daddy!  Make her stop it!" she cried.  "She's being gross and nasty again!"

Jigen walked in from the other direction, giving her a hug.  "Arsene," he said with a glare.  "What did you do this time?"

"I simply said that Xander was only eight years older than us and he was young and pretty now.  That I wouldn't mind dating him myself if you and daddy didn't because he was too young."

"Arsene, that would be incest," Ishi said firmly.  "He is still our parent, even if he doesn't remember us as such."  He scowled at her, making her duck her head.  "Do you often have such thoughts about your other family members?"

She shuddered.  "Eww.  No!"

"Then don't start on that one.  He is still our father," Ishi said firmly.  He got up. "I'm going to clean my ears now," he muttered as he walked past Jigen.  He found his father and scowled at him.  "Your accusation has now infected Arsene, are you happy?" he asked as he walked past him.

Goemon went into the room where Lupin was sitting.  "My son just accused me of giving your daughter ideas?"

"My beloved daughter said that since Xander was only eight years older than her now, she wouldn't mind being his girlfriend if we didn't want him."

Goemon shuddered.  "That is sickening.  Arsene!"

"Sorry, Uncle G," she called.  "I didn't mean to give everyone nightmares."

"Well, you did," her father called back.  "Besides, he's mine and you can't have him.  I won't be sharing, ever, daughter."

"Yes, daddy," she sighed.

"It proves she is your daughter," Goemon pointed out.  "You both have similar tastes in lovers."

Lupin glared at him, then slowly shook his head.  "Goemon, go away.  Before you give *me* nightmares."

Jigen looked into their room.  "When I said your kid would be the bunion on the asshole of humanity, I didn't mean for her to get a start with the family, man."  He looked at Arsene.  "You can only think such thoughts if you think them about your Uncle Goemon too," he ordered.

She looked up at him.  "Well, he does wear the ancient buttfloss," she pointed out.  "His loincloth is really wedged up in there by the way he walks sometimes.  And hey, if he can keep a woman like Fujiko busy, then I'm sure he could easily teach me whatever I needed to learn in that arena too."

Goemon walked in, eyes wide.  "No," he said slowly and clearly.  "It will not happen!  You will behave or we will be sending you to a doctor to find out what is wrong with you."  He stomped off.

"Nice one, kid.  Makes me proud," Lupin called, going back to his reading.

"Thanks, dad.  What are you going to do since you can't lay Uncle Xander for the next two years without Zenigata instantly showing up to arrest you?  He said he would be by the way."  She smirked up at her Uncle Jigen.  "I think you're cute too, but you're not the playful sort I think I'd like."

Jigen reached for the nearest phone and dialed a long distance number.  "Fihad, man, could you please call in a psychotic drug for little Lupin the Fourth and one for me?  Please?  And possibly some sedatives for Goemon."  He handed over the phone at the laughing.  "Tell him what you said," he said as he walked away.  "Tell him I'm heading for the pharmacy too."

"Tell him to come up and look at your Uncle Xander while he's at it," Lupin suggested.

"Uncle Fihad?  Hi.  Nope, this is little Lupin the Fourth.  Yes, daddy did spawn," she said patiently.  "No, I simply said that since Uncle Xander was now sixteen again that he was more than cute enough for me to date...."

***

Xander looked up as his door opened, waving at the woman standing there.  "Hi.  I guess you're someone else I'm supposed to remember?"  She nodded, walking in and closing the door.  "Then who are you?"

"Fujiko."

"Oh.  It must be *your* clothes in my closet.  Hiding them until after you have the baby?"

She grimaced. "No, they're yours," she told him. "What are you playing at, Xander?  Amnesia isn't like that."

He frowned at her.  "Do I like you usually?"

A young man who looked a lot like the guy who ran around in the kimono walked in and grabbed the older woman.  "She apologizes.  The pregnancy has hurt her mentally and she's not supposed to be wandering around."  He walked her back to her room and shoved her inside, slamming the door again.  He went to tell on himself, but knew he was right in doing that.  It was up to him to protect his uncle since his 'sisters' weren't.   Fortunately the Ritalin was working very well on Arsene.  He still had to look up that other disease the doctor had told her she had, Turret's syndrome.  "Uncle Jigen," he said as he walked into the study and found him there.  "I've locked the mother in her room again.  She was picking on Xander."

"Thanks, kid."  He grinned at him.  "You okay?"

"So far. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you and Xan are really close and I know it's got to be bothering you."  He sat up, making the cat move, even though it gave him a dirty look and huffed off.  "Sorry, but the kid needs me."

Ishi snickered.  "I bet ten years ago you would have killed someone for suggesting this scene."

"Probably true," Jigen agreed.  "No ducking the issue.  You okay?"

"So far," he said again, shrugging.  "He'll come back, I know he will.  If he can make it through hell and raising Arsene, he can easily regain his memories.  Until then, I can lean on Marcus and my father."

"Good kid."  He gave him a short hug.  "Now, isn't it time for bed?"

"Yeah, I guess," Ishi admitted, heading back up to his room.  He stopped to listen at his mother's door, hearing the long pants and something squealing as she squeezed it.  He frowned and went to his father's new room, knocking lightly since he should be up.  No answer so he looked inside.  His father was passed out on his bed.  He went to check on his Uncle Lupin, finding him also asleep.  "Uncle?" he called quietly.  Lupin launched a pillow at him.  "Fine."  He left, heading back downstairs.

"Ishi, I said bed," Jigen warned.

"Mother's panting, grunting, and squeezing something so hard it's squeaking," he offered.

"Shit!  Go wake up your father."

"I think he took a sedative and Uncle Lupin won't wake up either."

"Fine.  Go wake up Bix and Marcus.  I'll check on your mother."  He hurried up the stairs.  They had been dreading this moment.  He had almost hoped it had happened while they had been in the US, but no, not Fujiko.  She never had convenient timing.  He knocked before walking in, helping her stand upright again.

"What the fuck are you doing!" she screamed.  "Get off me!"

"Quit, now," he warned calmly.  "Are you in labor?"  She nodded, giving him a disgusted look. "Then lay down for a bit.  We'll get this done."  He helped her onto the bed and into a comfortable spot.  "Has your water broke?"

"A while ago," she admitted.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't know what the hell it was!" she shouted, grabbing his hand.  "Ow!  Owowowowowow!"

"Calm down.  Women do this all the time," he said as soothingly as he could.  "LUPIN!"

"Yes, Uncle?" Arsene shouted back.

"Get your father up, she's in labor!"

"Then call a fucking ambulance," she shouted back.  "Don't torture the woman by making her have it here!"  She went to pounce her father, dodging the other pillow missile.  "Daddy, the baby's coming!" she shouted as she bounced up and down on his stomach.  "Come on, you've got to get up or Uncle Jigen will have to deliver it!  Come on, dad!"  He swatted at her so she narrowed her eyes.  "You mother-fucking, slimy assed, gay little thief, get your ass up!" she said in her best Zenigata.

"Aw, Pops, didn't know you cared," he mumbled.

"Father!  The baby's coming!" she shouted.  "Uncle Jigen's going to have to deliver it!"

"Tell UPS to drop it," he said, giving her a light shove.

"Oh, fucking hell!  Bastard, get your vampire pale, stupid ass out of that bed!" she shouted.  He yawned and blinked at her a few times. "Aunt Fujiko's having the baby, father," she said impatiently. "Don't you think someone should save her from Uncle Jigen cutting her open from the neck down?"

"Shit!  Go get up Goemon!" he said, rushing out of the bed, ignoring the fact that he only had on his boxers.

She rolled her eyes.  "Why me, God?"  She went to do the same to her other uncle, starting by pouncing him.  He caught her in mid-leap.  "Your son's about to be born," she said when he blinked at her, her hair falling down around her face.  "Can you let me go?  You're making all the gas move and it'll come out really badly this time."

He set her onto the floor and got out of bed, heading down there in only his loincloth.

"That's it, I'm buying you all pajamas for the holidays!" she shouted.  She stomped to the nearest phone in her father's room, calling the doctor up the street.  "Hi, sir, it's Lupin's daughter.  Auntie Fujiko is in labor and my dad and uncles are stupid fucks at the moment.  They're running around in their underwear not having a clue.  Can you come birth the baby for them so she isn't killed?"  She grinned.  "Thanks.  I'll turn off the security system for you."  She hung up and went to the top of the stairs.  "Bertina, the doctor's coming, let him in!" she called down to the housekeeper.

"Yes, ma'am," was answered back.  "Is it time?"

"Oh, yeah, and the parents have no sense of modesty.  I hope like hell my future boyfriends are built like them."  The housekeeper gave her a funny look.  "Did you think boxers and a loincloth hide that much?"

"Well, no, but I try very hard not to look.  It's not polite, dear."

Arsene grinned. "Think about who you just said that to," she said with a smirk.

"Good point.  Try anyway, they are your parents, little one."  She turned on the monitor, letting him through the gates when his car pulled up.  "Oh, dear.  Arsene, can you tell your father the Don over Paris is here to see him?"

"Put him in the family room, he can wait," she said.  "I'll put on clothes so he's not embarrassed."  She walked back to the bedroom, sticking her head inside.  "Guys, the doctor's on the way and so is Paris' Don.  He's going in the family room."  Everyone looked at her.  "Never mind, I'll take care of this.  The doctor is on the way," she said patiently, going to wake up Ishi.  He had done this before.  "Yo!" she said as she opened his door, making him jump and cover up his nude body. "I don't want to know.  I don't need to know.  Your mother's in labor and they need some common fucking sense.  Plus some clothes."  She closed his door, shaking her head a few times before going to get dressed.  She came out as the doctor ran in with Ishi behind him.  "Thank you."  She headed down the stairs, smiling at the nice man who had given her a teddybear once. "Hi. You have really bad timing, sir.  Fujiko's in labor."  He gaped at her.  "What?"

"Who are you?"

She walked in and held out her hand. "Arsene Lupin the Fourth."

His eyes widened and he shook her hand.  "Well.  The rumors are true."  She nodded, sitting across from him.  "Are you much like your father?"

"More or less.  At the moment, I'm more clothed than he is because of the impending birth.  He and Uncle Goemon are both running around in their underwear."

He chuckled, smiling at her. "I'm sure it's simply panic, young lady.  How old are you?"

"I'll be nine in another few weeks. 'Lis?  Lotus?  Needed down here!" she yelled.  She looked at him again.  "This way you can meet the next generation, minus one.  Ishi's upstairs with his mother since he got to deliver Alex.  He's about the only one with sense right now."  He laughed again, eyes closing.  "So, what did you come up about tonight?  Are you normally one who keeps vampires' hours?"

"No, dear, but some disturbing things have just reached my ear and I had to come talk to your father in person.  Do you think it'll take very long?"  She nodded.  "Why?"

"Because she's not screaming yet."

"Ah."  He guessed that was a good enough gauge at the moment. He smiled as a dark- haired young woman walked in with another yawning as she walked in behind her.  "Hello.  Which of you is which?"

"I'm Lotus," the first one said, shaking his hand.  "Goemon's second child.  This is Melissa Jigen."  She sat down beside Arsene. "It's a good thing you got up Ishi.  Your father's dancing around upstairs like he's standing on hot coals and Melissa's isn't much better.  Mine is moaning at the moment, holding her hand and kissing the back of it.  Ishi and the doctor are doing everything."

"I kind of figured with the way I had to wake up the paternal unit."  She glanced upstairs, then at Lotus.  "Maybe one of us should check on Uncle Xander."

"Going," Melissa said, hurrying up there to do that.  She ran into her father in the hallway, getting stopped by him. "The Don over Paris is downstairs, daddy, and Arsene sent me up to look in on Daddy."

"Sure.  Go for it," he said, heading down the stairs.  He walked into the family room.  "Don," he said respectfully. "Something we can do for you?"

"Actually, I've heard some very strong rumors recently and I had to come up and check on them before some of the other Dons got upset and came up to attack you.  Fortunately, this wonderful young woman is quite helpful."

"Only sometimes," Jigen muttered, cracking Arsene up. "Go back to bed, girls.  The baby won't be born until in the morning.  They might even have to take her to the hospital."  They nodded and left to eavesdrop.  "Rumors?" he asked as he took Arsene's seat.

"About them.  About Lavelle actually being underage.  Things of that nature."

Jigen looked at the man and sighed. "It's complicated.  And odd.  How much did you need to know to keep them off our backs?"

"We heard that Lavelle went to London and they ran there.  That he had been hiding them?"

"Or something like that," Jigen agreed dryly.   "They were protectively away from us before then."

They stared at each other and the Don finally nodded. "All right, I can let that go at that.  How old is Lavelle?"

"Thirty-two in another seven months," Jigen admitted.

"I saw your pictures from the airport."

Jigen rubbed his chin, then leaned forward once his beard smoothed back in place.  "Yeah, well, someone had just kidnaped Lavelle and used something experimental on him.  He does look younger, especially since they dyed his hair.  He's still in his thirties."

"I see."  The Don looked him over.  "You look younger as well."

"It's where I can't smoke."

"And the reason Lupin looks fifteen years younger?"

"Man, you'd better take that up with Lupin.  I can't tell."  Jigen shrugged.  "It's a family secret and I can't tell, man, I'm sorry."

"I understand.  I didn't expect you to give me easy answers and I don't expect Lupin to give them to me either.  I do expect to hear some truth however."

"If I told you the truth, you'd lock me in the nuthatch," Jigen told him.

"Interesting.  How odd?"

"Like Cairo, only worse," Lupin said as he walked in, finally in a bathrobe.  "What's up?"

"Zenigata has let it be known that Lavelle is underaged?"

Lupin winced as he sat down.  "No, not quite.  Well, technically, but not.  He's thirty one, but he's in the body of a sixteen-year-old."

The Don looked at him, then sighed.  "The real reason?"

"Magic."

"Magic?"

Lupin nodded.  "Magic.  Someone kidnaped him and used something on him that deaged him.  We were having the same thing made for us.  It can only be used once but we need it to keep up with the kids."

"Magic is real?"

"Have you seen Dawn's recent stuff?" Jigen asked.  He nodded quickly.  "Ever wonder how she suddenly appears and disappears?"  He shook his head.  "You might want to start."

"Should I be drunk for this conversation?" he asked blandly.

"Hey, if it helps," Lupin said with a shrug.  "I nearly did, but then again I've run into it before.  Cairo was as close as I ever came before our long vacation a few years ago, and then I found real magic doing something on my own.  It was kinda funny, the Imperial dragon likes me."  He shrugged.  "Who knows why."

The Don got up and went searching for a drink, taking it from Jigen's hand.  "Thank you, I need this more."

"Yeah, probably.  Fujiko isn't allowing herself to be moved.  She wants us to kill her here."

"Are you going to?"

"You're asking the wrong person," Jigen pointed out.  "She's not my wife, I would have killed her before now."  He strolled off, going to get himself another drink.  He really did need a drink, he had seen Fujiko when he had checked her over.  That was bad enough, but he had been caught staring as she stretched out.  Goemon had to break the hideous sight and he had nearly cried in relief.  Then again, Goemon had given him one of those 'I understand' looks so maybe he felt the same way.  Good thing Ishi and the doc knew what they were doing.

***

Fujiko looked down at her son, then rolled onto her side.  "He's not mine."

"If you feel that way, that's fine," Goemon agreed, taking his son from the doctor.  "I'll be in my room if you need him."  He walked away, taking his sons back to his room.  Ishi had been quite helpful and he deserved to hold his baby brother.  "Come, sit," he ordered.  Ishi sat next to him, stealing the baby to hold.  "Are you upset?"

"No, and Lotus won't be either, Father.  She wanted to do a posthumous c-section if you remember back a few weeks."  He stroked the dirty head.  "You need a bath, young man."  He looked at his father.  "Was I this nasty?"

"Definitely," he said dryly.  "And slimier if I remember right.  Or perhaps that was other bodily fluids.  Lupin won't want to buy a new mattress but he'll need one."

"All babies come out icky, makes me sure I never want one," Ishi said dryly.  "At least you weren't as bloody as Alex. You'll like her, she's cuddly, little guy.  What's his name?"

"Not a clue," Goemon admitted.

"Father, that's a name that the other children will surely pick on," Ishi said dryly, grinning at him as soon as his father broke into laughs.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Enter and worship at the baby's toes!  Especially if you're bringing a few damp cloths."

"Well, I'm not, but I wanted to see the baby," Xander said as he peeked in.  "Can I?"  Ishi nodded, letting him hold the baby.  "Wow.  You're kinda nasty," he said with a grin.  Then he suddenly frowned and shook his head.  "Odd."  He went back to examining the baby.  "How are you, precious?  Hmm?  Do you have a name yet?  You need a name, we can't keep calling you nasty butt, no we can't," he cooed, rubbing noses with the baby.  "You need a bath.  Yes, you do, you need a bath," he said happily, bringing the baby into the bathroom to run him a bath in the sink.  "Not the greatest first bath place, but it'll do.  Your first one, you can go to Rome and bathe the baby in the fountains down there.  There are supposed to be whole lots of them.  Or maybe in the ocean, yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't you?" he asked as he splashed the delicate skin with water.  "Can someone get me a washcloth?"

Ishi slid off the bed and grabbed one for him, watching as the baby was bathed.  "For not remembering doing that in the past, you're very good," Ishi noted.

"I have done this in the past," Xander said bitterly.  "He didn't stay with us though."  He turned the baby over and went over his back, making the baby coo and wiggle.  "Yeah, you're a good boy, Jona....little guy.  Yes, you are."

Ishi gave him a hug.  "It's all right.  It was probably better for him to be taken away."

Xander looked at him.  "You have no idea."

"I know.  But I know some and it's enough to make me want to hurt your parents.  He's trying to suck on the bar of soap."  Xander moved the baby and cleaned off his mouth, then handed him over to get dry.  "Was he your brother?"

"Cousin."

"Oh.  I'm sorry, Xander."  The older boy shrugged.  "If you want, you can tell me sometime while we're working out.  I don't mind in the least.  It makes me know that you're not perfect and great."  He kissed him on the forehead and brought the baby back, letting the doctor in.  "We just bathed him."

"I noticed he's not got afterbirth on him anymore," the doctor agreed, checking him over.  He did the weight and measurement stuff, then wrote it down on the birth certificate.  That got handed to Goemon while the baby was handed back to Ishi.  "You're very good, young man.  Have you considered being a doctor?  Or even an herb healer if you wanted to go with some of the old ways."

"I hadn't, but I'm sure some of my training will be of that," Ishi admitted, looking at his father.

"If that is what you wish to be, then be that," he agreed.

Ishi shrugged. "I'll think about it, but that's nasty."

The doctor chuckled. "Surgery is worse.  Intestines are not pleasant to play with."  He patted Ishi on the shoulder. "You're a very good big brother.  Did you need anything else?"

"Only if you wanted to look in on Sierra's and Alex's stuffy noses," Goemon offered.  "They should be fine."

"Why not.  I'm already here," he agreed happily.  Runny noses were normal kid things, he saw a lot of them probably.  He left them with a prescription for Alex and allergy medicine for Sierra, then left to go back to bed.

Goemon smiled at his son.  "Go back to bed, son.  Sleep in tomorrow, you and Xander both deserve it."  He left, taking the baby downstairs.  "You'll need a new mattress."

"Birth is often messy," the Don agreed, slightly tipsy now.  He looked at the baby.  "Wow. You're a baby Goemon."

"Yes he is," Goemon agreed as he sat down, crossing his feet in front of him.  He was still only wearing a loincloth and didn't care at the moment.  He would care when he got chilly or one of the other children awoke.  "We never did figure out a name."

"I don't know, Goemon.  What do you want to call him?"

Goemon shrugged.  "I don't know.  I know he was supposed to be...."  He trailed off and looked at the other man with them, then at Lupin.  "Am I interrupting?"

"No, he's come up to verify some rumors.  He heard about the kids and Lavelle's wonderful anti-aging thing he's got going on.  Zenigata's going to bust us as soon as there's any sign that we're sleeping with him before he's eighteen."

"As he should.  Lavelle is now a boy, Lupin.  You must take that into account."  He looked down at his son.  "What will you be when you grow up?"  The baby yawned and made sucking faces.  "Ah, you're hungry."  He started to get up but Bix brought in a bottle, blushing hard when she saw him. "Sorry," he mumbled with a blush of his own.  He tested it before sticking it in the open mouth, stopping any protest.  "Do not worry.  I know it's not the same as the mother would feed you but it is good enough.  At least for now."

"She can't, Goemon."

"I know.  It is sad, but perhaps for the best."  He patted the round stomach.  "You drink, son. You need it to grow as large as I am."  Bix squeaked and ran off with a glowing blush.  "What?"

"Um, Goemon, you're peeking out of the loincloth," Lupin pointed out.  "I think you embarrassed her to no end."  Goemon adjusted himself, then hit him really hard on the arm. "Ow!"  He scowled at him.  "Grumpy asshole.  Just wait until you're a grandfather!"

"You're more likely to have that happen first," Goemon retorted meanly.  "After all, your daughter is *exactly* like you, including in what you find attractive."  Lupin blanched and Goemon smirked at him.  "I feel better now for some reason."

Paris' Don laughed.  "You're so bad."  He wiggled his fingers at the baby.  "How are you?"

"Apparently he's comfortable," Goemon offered.  He shrugged lightly.  "He seems to like me and I'm happy about that.  Ishi was always a very calm child and Lotus adored her time in my arms.  As does my son Kenji."

"Goemon, you have four kids?"  Goemon nodded.  "Why?  Or better yet, how?"

"That's part of that long story," Lupin offered.  "Have another drink, it might be necessary."

The other man wisely poured himself another drink and gulped half of it.  "Shoot me, I'm ready."

***

Xander woke up with a scream from his nightmare, but he held it inside.  He sat up and curled around himself, staring out his window.  "What the hell have I done?" he whispered.

Someone knocked on the door and walked in.  "I was up," Ishi explained, coming in to sit beside him.  "What was it?"

"I was destroying a city," Xander said weakly, not quite making it a question.  He knew that somehow it was real.  He had magic?

"You were protecting us kids.  Those people wanted to kill us."  Xander stared at him.  "Seriously.  You've done more than destroy buildings to protect us, Uncle Xander."

"I...."  He shook his head.  "I don't understand I guess.  I'm a demon hunter?"

"And an assassin, and a thief, and many things," Ishi agreed.  "You started to seriously hunt demons after being saved from them."  He moved the t-shirt aside, tracing a scar he knew was there.  "After you got these."  Xander traced over the same spot, frowning down at his body.  "The necklace hiding them is the tiger's eye."

Xander fumbled with the catch but it finally did come undone.  He looked at his bare arms and started to whimper. "No!"

Ishi grabbed his chin, making him look at him.  "You were saved, now you save others," he said firmly.  "You take out bad people who need to be removed and you save people from the higher demons.  There is no shame and no dishonor in that.  You do what you must to survive."

"I like it?" Xander asked pitifully. "How can I like that?"

"Because sometimes it's easier than being a good guy.  You've often said you're a black knight now, Uncle Xander.  We count on you to protect us.  Let's face it, sometimes Uncle Lupin and Uncle Jigen forget we're around.  You never forget us.  Not from the moment we're born until now.  You came back from Hell a changed man, and you found a new place.  You came to terms with your duties and your destiny.  For right now, we'll let you rediscover that stuff.  But know if you need it, we are here."

Xander nodded, leaning over to give him a hug.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome, Uncle.  Any other questions?"

"Why do I have girls' clothes in my closet?"

"Ah."  Ishi grinned.  "You have in your possession a choker of immense power.  It changes gender.  You don't much wear it anymore, but you are a stunning personality changer.  As proven at the conventions you introduced me to last year."

"You mean I am a geek?"

Ishi stood up, heaving his uncle with him.  "Come on.  It's time you remembered your things.  This room has pitiful little of your personality in it."  He walked him down to the storage rooms Lupin was keeping Xander's things in, flipping on the lights.  "These are all yours.  What hasn't been put into storage that is."

Xander moved forward, looking at the detailed descriptions on each box's label.  Genre, title, which comic numbers, and approximate worth of the box.  He moved onto the back boxes, looking at the labels on them. "Hey, anime."  He grinned back at his friend.  "I like those conventions, right?"

"You routinely go as Inuyasha."

"Wow.  I can pull that off?"

"So well that you've got the record for most costume contests won in a row," Ishi assured him.  "Your kimono collection is in another room.  It's in a fireproof room."

"Why aren't these?"

"Because we only had one and putting them all in there was asking for trouble," Ishi said with a shrug.  "These aren't your collector's editions or your 'perfect' copies.  Those are kept in a special warehouse and taken care of by a librarian."  He waved a hand.  "Come on, we'll go walk around.  You always were up and wandering each night."  They walked out and ran into Jigen.  "He remembered Geneva."

"Ah."  Jigen nodded.  "It's okay, you're not usually like that, Xan."

Xander gave him a helpless look.  "Are you sure?  I seemed pretty pleased with myself."

"That's for not hurting any innocents," Jigen offered.  "Come on, I'll walk around with you.  Lupin's snoring is reverbing through the rooms."  He looked at Ishi.  "I could have sworn you had a bedtime."

"Oh, whine, Uncle Jigen. We both know that I'm not the sort to sleep all night."  He yawned, shaking his head quickly.  "Aberration."

"Sure it is," Jigen said dryly.  "Bed, Ishi, before we handcuff you to it and make you stay there all day tomorrow with the girls taking care of you."

"You'd make them hold a vessel while I peed into it?" Ishi asked, raising an eyebrow just like his father could. "Are you hoping one of them breaks their focus on me?  Because I must say that I'll probably never date one of those children."

"Damn, there's a scary thought.  You and Arsene having a kids," Jigen mumbled, taking Xander outside to sit on the patio set.  "You okay so far?"

"Pretty good," Xander admitted.  "I'm still really confused."

"Eh.  This life is confusing enough for those who live it.  Coming into it again this way isn't going to help you any, but we know you can get through all this stuff."  He patted Xander on the hand and then leaned back to light up a cigarette.  "Ah," he sighed in pleasure.  "Like how you don't know how long I've been waiting to finish a whole one of these, you won't know other things either.  For that matter, there are things that you'd usually put up with that we're looking forward to seeing you deal with, like little Arsene's mouth."

"Does she have an overbite?"

"No, she's got a sewer for a mind at her age and blurts out shit like you wouldn't believe," Jigen shared.  He winked at him.  "It'll be okay, Xan.  I promise.  We'll get you through this and celebrate your eighteenth birthday really heavily."  The younger man blushed.  "None of that.  From what you've told us in the past, you've had men by now."

"Well, yeah," Xander admitted sheepishly.  "But the guy said that he didn't want to know and he would shoot me if I even thought about that."

"Good thing he's dead," Jigen said dryly.  Xander gave him a horrified look as he shifted away slightly.  "We like your fertile, smutty mind, Xander.  It helps us plan things and makes things go easier.  Anyone who takes that from you, or us, needs to be punished.  They had no right to experiment on you that way."

"Experiment?" Xander asked.  "I thought he was protecting us on Giles' orders."

"Nah," Jigen said, taking another long suck on his cigarette.  "He was Army.  They wanted to breed some super soldiers and you've always seemed super in the past so they picked you and Buffy. I'm not sure about the Willow thing, but I do know that you and Buffy were both tampered with mentally.  That's why you can't remember things."  He took another suck, looking down at the thing between his fingers.  He was three-quarters done!  He took another good few puffs then sighed and put it out.  "Finally," he said in relief.

"Why couldn't you smoke?  Did those commercials get to you?"

"No.  Fujiko hit me with a shot of some new drug that makes you allergic to nicotine.  I had a four pack a day habit then."  Xander winced.  "Exactly.  I have an allergy shot in case I start to react, it's in the kitchen, in the drawer to the right of the sink."  He resettled himself.  "Right now, we've got people looking to see if what he did to you can be undone.  Things like the dye, well, we're going to have to wait it out I think."

"He dyed my hair?"

"It's silver now, Xan.  I noticed Ishi showed you your scars, it came with them."

"Oh."  He looked down at himself.  "I look horrible.  Why would anyone touch me with these?"

"Because those of us who like you don't mind," Jigen offered.  "We usually have to order you to take off the necklace to prove it, but we don't mind."

"You mean I wear it all the time?"  Jigen nodded quickly.  "Oh."  He pulled it out of his pocket and put it back on, feeling the magic take hold.  "I guess it's better that way anyway."

"We wouldn't care one way or the other, neither would the kids. You're hiding them from the casual observer and things.  Plus you do have helpful relations with some nature spirits and things so the necklace makes sure you won't hurt them."

"I do?"

"You do," Jigen agreed.  "The Kitsune in particular."

"You rang?" a bored voice said from behind Jigen.

Jigen glanced back.  "Hey.  Lupin apologizes.  He was frantic."  He shifted again.  "Xander, this is your trouble buddy."

"Wow," Xander said, staring at the fox spirit.  "You're kinda neat."

"Thank you," he said with a grin.  He looked his friend over, touching him on the hand.  "It will wear off.  He's already getting some leakage and the chemicals will wear off.  To get there faster you might want to have him detox or whatever, but it will end shortly.  As for the black, expect it to slide off soon.  Dyes never stay in that sort of hair."  He shrugged, grinning at Xander again.  "Then you can be yourself and pounce Arsene again."

"My daughter?"

"Is Lupin the Fourth; you're the self-proclaimed and acknowledged love monkey of Lupin the Third," Jigen said dryly.

"Though, Lupin the Fourth did say that if you were too young for her father, she wouldn't mind taking you in as her boyfriend," the kitsune offered.

Xander shuddered.  "Eww!  I changed her diapers, probably."

"Oh, many more times than her father did," the kitsune lord agreed.   "They called you the mommy because you did so much of the child care, even with a nanny."

"But why did they do this to me?"

"Because," the kitsune lord sighed.  "You're very special Xander.  You've trained very hard to get to be very good.  They thought it was a genetic advantage so they wanted you to pass that onto your children.  Come."  He backed away and Xander got up to follow him.  "I'm going to do something shocking."  Xander nodded.  The fox spirit rushed him with a perfect throat strike.  Xander blocked it automatically, then stared at his hand in shock.  "That's part of the reason.  Also how you've killed so many demons in the past.  Plus your inexhaustible supply of other personalities from anime and comics."  He shrugged. "It helps in the life."  He walked Xander back to the table.  "You may be Jigen's apprentice, but you are a student of all of them and Goemon adores you because you frustrate him to no end by learning things off anime and hiding it from him."  He patted him on the hand even as he looked over at Jigen.  "We understand a panicking lover, but he nearly killed someone on the other side of the portal and we can't allow that.  He should think of us as Gods to worship, not other thieves to boss around. He wouldn't do that in a holy place, would he?"

"Janus talks to him all the time from someone's statue," Jigen said with a shrug.  "He never seems to pray."

The kitsune muttered something about interfering Gods under his breath, making Xander laugh.  "Exactly.  Janus is the most interfering God in the universe.  Because of him you change genders and had children.  I'm supposing he likes the kids?"

"Arsene's a devout worshiper."

"That explains a lot," the kitsune noted dryly.  He rolled his eyes then looked at Xander again.  "You have an 'I'll pray if you leave me alone' deal going with him the last I knew."  Xander was staring at him, mouth open, not moving.  "Oh, dear, I just broke through some of them," he said with a wicked grin.  "Have fun, Jigen."

"Hey!" Jigen complained as he was left alone to deal with this.  Xander stared at him and whimpered.  "They weren't planned."

"They couldn't have been!"  He stood up, mouth still open, hurt look on his face. "I'm really the mother to some of them?"

"All but Arsene, Sierra, and Goemon's kids," Jigen said quietly.  "You've taken them in and become their mother, Xan, and they all love you because of it.  Sit."  Xander flopped back down, letting out another sub-vocal whimper.  "You're hardly ever in the choker anymore and you refuse to have sex in it.  That's stopped that problem cold, Xan.  It won't happen again."

"It had better not!"  Xander sat up suddenly.  "When did I miscarry?"

"You haven't."

"I have. I just saw it."

"Nope."   Jigen shook his head. "Not that we know of anyway."  He shrugged.  "Sometimes you go off on your own but you've never said that you did.  You keep a diary upstairs and there is the Chronicle you were working on.  Marcus has it at the moment to check for accuracy and spelling mistakes.  You might want to read that."

Xander nodded, standing up again.  "Thanks, Jigen."

"Welcome, kid.  We still love you, even though you are stubborn, won't bottom for us, and get cranky with us for suggesting it.  I have no idea how Lupin's gonna wait until you're eighteen again."

Xander looked at him.  "Both of you?" Jigen nodded.  "Oh.  Wow.  I guess anyway."  He shrugged and headed inside shaking his head.  His life was odd, really, really odd.  Not even Oz could say his life was normal and not remark on it.  He'd have to find him to make sure he survived Sunnydale.  He found his daughter on the stairs.  "Why are you up?"

"Making a bottle," Lotus said with a yawn.  "Night, Uncle Xander."  She walked past him into the kitchen to grab the spare can of formula.  They had run out upstairs.

Jigen came in and took it from her, carrying her back up the stairs, then coming back down to fix a few of them for the night.  Three kids needing them would be more than enough.  "Maybe he's still lactating?" he muttered.

Xander snuck into his daughter's room, plucking her statue off her dresser and taking it back to his room.  He put it on his desk and stared at it.  "Okay, so I guess I do like you somewhat.  I'm also guessing that I'm your doing?"  The statue's heads shook.  "Wow, you can move."

"And speak," the frowning head noted, looking at him.  "Only to those we like."

"And you like me," he said flatly.

"We protect you now," the other head told him.  It grinned up at him, then leered.  "You are quite something else, young man.  We adore all your innate qualities, including the ones that draw trouble and how well you wear out certain houses of pleasure."

"I do?"

"Yes," the heads said in unison.

"Huh."  He grimaced, then shook his head to clear it.  "Can you undo some of this?  I know it's not fully magic, but I don't like not knowing myself.  I feel like an imposter and I know I'm going to have a panic attack or something when I go down to do targets, however we do them here."

"Hmm.  We might," the frowning head offered.

"For a fee of course."

Xander nodded with a sigh coming out.  "Of course.  What sort?"

"That you do climb into bed with Arsene.  The older one," the smiling head assured him.  "Our beloved future has quite a few shocks in store for her but you are not one.  No matter what she thinks."

Xander shrugged.  "If I'm a slut, why would I have a problem with having him?"

"Your age?" the frowning head suggested.

"Won't that get him into trouble?"

"Well, it could, but it will shake the memories free faster," the smiling head offered.  "He can do things to you that make you want to rip out scar tissue and die in his arms.  Have him do something like that and...."   Lupin walked in and picked up the heads, then tossed it out the window.  "Hey!" it shouted as it flew off.

Lupin gave Xander a hug. "I'd never presume, Xan.  You're very young and I don't want to hurt you."

"But if it helps...."

"It might, but you're underaged and Pops will be getting us for that."  He kissed him on the top of the head.  "Even if you jump me, we'd both be in trouble for it because he will know.  He always does."  He gave him a long hug, then slowly let him go.  "We'll figure out how to get you to the age of eighteen."

"Easy, you move to a country where the minimum age is lower and where you won't get killed for being with a man," Goemon said from the doorway.  "Where is my son?"

"Jigen sent him to bed," Xander said with a shrug.  "Where would he normally be?"

"In the gym," Goemon said quietly, glancing behind him.  "I heard him muttering.  What did Jigen do or say this time?"

"Jigen said if he didn't go back to bed, he'd tie him to his bed and make the girls take care of him.  Ishi said something about only if he wanted him to break his control with them or something and Jigen got this horrified look in his eyes.  Something about an Ishi and Arsene baby."

Lupin and Goemon looked at each other, then shuddered and shook their heads.  "We'd stop that one," Lupin promised, giving Xander a pat on the back.

"Jigen shuddered too," Xander said with a grin, feeling comfortable for the first time since he had been rescued.  "Jigen explained some stuff to me and the kitsune came to talk to me for a bit.  He said you should worship him, Lupin."

Lupin gave him a long look.  "In some ways, I kinda do.  In some ways, I really don't.  Having a tail, or more than one, would make me look funny."  He smirked at Xander's laugh and Goemon's long look at his backside.  "Don't you think?"

"I think you need drugs.  I've thought so now for years.  I'm simply more sure now," Goemon assured him.  His son let out a loud wail so he headed down to get him before he could wake up Bix or Marcus.  "Hush, son, I am coming," he called.  His son broke out into sniffling as soon as he heard that.  He was loved.  He walked in and grabbed his son to look at him, and his nose wrinkled.  "Eww, son," he said dryly, taking him to change him before the smelly stuff could mutate.

Lupin looked at Xander.  "It's not a bad idea.  You like traveling."

"I do," Xander agreed.  "I've always wanted to do some."

"Well, we do.  Before the kids we did at least eight countries a year, but mostly in Europe and Japan."

"Hmm."  Xander gave him a hesitant kiss, then leaned more weight into Lupin's body, letting himself get deeper into it.  "Okay, so I like guys," he said as he pulled back, with his eyes still closed.  He opened them at the warm chuckle, launching himself back at the hard, thin body, glueing himself to Lupin's lips again. "More?" he moaned.

Lupin did the hardest thing in his life.  He pulled back.  "Xan, if I try, you'll only get in trouble.  Dawn will turn you in."

"Who's Dawn?"

"Buffy's little sister."

"She has a sister?"

"Long story," he promised, giving him a hug.  "I want, but I can't, not yet.  I respect you, Xan."  Xander sniffled and squeezed him.  "Ow.  You're really strong."  He kissed him on the cheek.  "Sleep."

"I got up because I had nightmares."

"Then I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."  Lupin laid down beside him, on top of the covers because he wasn't a saint, didn't have Goemon's control, or even Jigen's control, and he knew that Xander wouldn't stop him.  He wouldn't ruin his relationship with Xander for a quick blow off.  He wouldn't.  Not if he could help it anyway.  He stroked the dark hair, watching as the younger man slept.  Once he heard the first content snore he slipped from the bed and went to pounce Jigen.  Someone had to take care of this hardon before he died from it.  It was already sucking all the blood from his brain; otherwise he wouldn't be considering Goemon's suggestion to move somewhere else for a bit.  "Ishi and Arsene?"

"He suggested it," Jigen said with a shrug, putting down his book.  "What's wrong?"

"I just got kissed," he admitted, strolling in and kissing Jigen as hard as he could.

"So I can see.  I'm still not your bitch, Lupin."

"Jigen, unless we take Goemon up on his suggestion to move to a lower age-limit country that doesn't have a 'death on sight to gays' policy, we're both fucked if we don't help each other out.  Besides, who always has your back, buddy?" he asked with a grin as he slid down next to his friend.  "Who's your best friend ever?"

"Xander."

"Yeah, but I was first," Lupin pouted.  "I thought I let you know I still wanted to be there."

"You are," Jigen promised, patting him on the arm.  "I'm still not sleeping with you."

"Not even a quick blow?" Jigen gave him an odd look from beneath his nightcap.  "I'd reciprocate."

"Yes, you would," Jigen said firmly.  "First."

"Hey, I'm good with that," Lupin promised, sliding down the harder body.

"Promise me you won't think about the kids, Fujiko, or Xander?" Jigen asked.

"Two of the three," Lupin promised with a grin.  "If I don't think about Xander, then I might have to blow too soon."  He moved the nightshirt out of his way and went to work on his bestest friend ever.  Jigen deserved this sort of attention.  "This should be holiday bonuses," he murmured.

"I want to see you convince Goemon of that one," Jigen said with a smirk down at him.

"Hey, if he'd take me up on it," Lupin said with a shrug.  He went back to what he had been doing, getting Jigen good and hard so he could get some of his own when he suddenly paused and moved them both into the classic 69 position.

***

Lupin strolled into his office the next morning, looking at everyone.  "Morning.  Are we having a meeting?"  Goemon shook his head, letting his son nap on his shoulder in place of his sword, which was with his first son.  "Then why are we crowded in my office?"

"Talking about Xander," Jigen admitted, sucking down another cigarette from a safe distance away from the tender baby lungs.  "So, boss, what're we gonna do about him?"

"Work on getting his memories back.  What did the kitsune say?"

"That it was chemical and that it was breaking down," Jigen offered.  "Janus?"

"To have a moment like when we popped the scar tissue," Lupin said as he settled himself behind his desk, putting his feet up.  "As an added note, Jigen gave me a suggestion last night for the holiday bonuses I give you guys.  We were thinking a good night of sex.  That okay with you guys?"

"I would have to decline," Goemon said firmly, glaring at him.  "Don't make me get my son to kill you."

Lupin smirked at him. "That's so cute, Daddy Goemon.  Is your son the big protector now?"

"No, but he has my sword," Goemon said bitterly.  "Or else you would already be dead."

Marcus fought his blush.  "I'm afraid that wouldn't work for me either, Lupin.  I'm afraid my lovers would get a bit peeved at me."

"You actually think the vampire will mind?" Jigen asked.

"I'm not sleeping with Ripper," Marcus snorted.  "Rupert, Ethan, and two others.  I know Ethan won't care but I'm afraid the other three probably would.  They can be quite...proper about such things."  He looked at Lupin again.  "How should we instigate him regaining his memories?"

Goemon looked at Marcus.  "Stringing people along like that is not honorable, Marcus," he scolded.  "I have taught you better than that."

"I'm not, they know about each other, but they all expressed an interest in not having any more added to the lists," Marcus assured him.  "I would never dream of hiding something like that.  When you do, you inevitably end up in the hospital.  Unless you're Lupin the Third, or possibly the Fourth."

"And the First," Lupin added for good measure.  "Grandad could string girls along like you wouldn't believe.  He's the reason we have all the hidden passages in the house."  He glanced at Jigen with a grin.  "Looks like it's just us and Xan who're getting bonuses this year," he decided happily.

"Only if you find a way for him to suddenly age two years," Jigen pointed out.  "We should get him some new IDs soon, Lupin.  He'll need 'em.  He can't go on his old ones.  There's no way he passes for thirty-one.  He barely passes for sixteen."

"We'll work on that once his hair's back to normal, and get his license renewed," Lupin agreed.  "Make sure he's got driving lessons scheduled as well.  Take Marc with you too.  He could use them."

"I do perfectly fine," Marcus complained.

"Goemon can out-walk your driving," Jigen snorted, finishing his cigarette.  "It finally broke," he announced. "Where are we heading?"

"The Caribbean?" Goemon suggested.

A very young kitsune appeared dragging his blanket and holding his teddy ...human, climbing into Lupin's lap to nap on him.  "Fank you," he said around his thumb.  He fell asleep on him, very comfortable under his blankie.

Lupin looked down at the kid, stunned beyond belief.  "Who put you up to this, little guy?"  The baby didn't answer him so he sighed and looked at the others, seeing the smirk. "Do not start," he warned.  "They like me because I'm such a great thief."

"It's probably because you smell like Xander," Jigen taunted.  He pushed the intercom button.  "Bix, come to the office?" he called.  He let it go and leaned back to watch Lupin.  Bix stuck her head in so Jigen pointed.  "He wandered in and curled up on him, thanking him quite politely."

"Well," she sighed, shaking her head.  "Young one?"  He batted at the nasty voice.  "Kori?"

"Twit!" he ordered imperiously.

"I remember Ishi doing that," Goemon said fondly, patting his youngest son on the back.

"Me too," Lupin agreed dryly.  "Can you take him?"  She shook her head.  "Why not?"

"Because he's got his claws in your shirt and if I try he'll claw you badly.  It'll upset him too badly if he hurts you, Lupin.  Sorry.  Goemon, want me to take him?"

"No, he's fine," Goemon assured her. "He's drooling on me at the moment and sucking on my shoulder."

"His thumb is probably what he needs."  She walked in and stuck the thumb into his mouth, making him one happy future samurai.  She walked over to look at the baby fox spirit.  "Kori?"

"Twit!" he ordered, batting at her again.  He snuggled in harder, his muzzle finding its way between the dress shirt's buttons.  "Mine!  No share!"

Bix smirked at Lupin, then shrugged.  "I don't want to hurt him, Lupin.  I'm sorry."  She jogged out, heading to grab Sarah, Alex, Kenji, and Fred.  "Come on, let's go outside," she said happily.  The toddlers all gathered around so she could lead them outside via the hidden portals.  There weren't any stairs on them so it was safer, and the slide was a lot of fun.

They sat there in silence, staring at the babies, until Lupin felt the most urgent call of nature he had felt since he had been a child.  "Crap," he muttered.  He nudged the baby gently.  "Hey, Kori, I have to get up.  Can you sit with Jigen until I get back?" he asked gently.

"Not love me?" the baby fox spirit sniffled, looking up at him with impossibly big eyes.

Lupin hugged him. "I do so love you, but I have to go to the bathroom and unlike the baby Goemon's holding, I don't wear diapers so I have to get up. Can you sit with him?"

"He not comfy, he skinny," the baby said firmly, giving him a slight frown.  "You comfy."

"I'm skinny too."

"You have comfy spots," the fox spirit insisted.  "Love you."

"I love you too, little guy."  He gave him a light hug.  "Why don't you talk to the new baby for a few minutes so I can go to the bathroom."  He stood up and put the baby, his blanket, and his friend next to Goemon.  "There, I'll be right back and then you can go back to hugging me."

"Okay," he said, watching him leave.  Then he looked at the baby.  "No mommy to do that?"  Goemon shook his head.  "Poor thing.  My mommy busy right now, but I loves her."  He gently stroked the baby's mostly bald head.  "He not furry."

"Most humans aren't," Goemon instructed.

The baby gave him a 'duh' look. "I know that.  I'm not that little," he pouted.

"We didn't think you were," Jigen explained.  "But we didn't know what sort of funny things you had been told by the bigger, mean kids."

"Oh."  Kori sucked his thumb, then went back to petting the baby with the wet hand.  "He little."

"He is, he's only a few days old," Goemon said gently.

"He should be in baby pouch then."  He stood up and scrunched up his face, then suddenly disappeared.  He came back a minute later with a big, furry mass, looking quite pleased with himself. "Here, he can borrow mine."  He helped the baby into the furry pouch, then helped Goemon into it.  "It feel like the mommy, even same color as mine."

"It's very pretty, thank you, Kori," Jigen praised, getting up to pat him on the back.  "You're a very good boy."

"Fank you," he said happily, hugging him around the stomach.  "Wow, you are comfy."

"Only sometimes, kid.  I can hear the other kids playing outside.  Wanna go play with them?"

"No fanks.  Me not want Lotus mad at me."

"She won't be," Goemon promised.  "She was only mad at a few of the adults but you have nothing to worry about from her.  She's usually quite nice."

He considered it before shaking his head.  "No fanks, me not want to play, me want cuddles."  He leaned against Goemon side.  "He not back yet?"

"I can hear him in the hall, he's telling Lotus something," Jigen offered.  He sat down closer.  "Want me to take him, Goemon?"  Goemon shook his head.  "I haven't gotten to."

"He's got my hair," he explained.

"Ah."  Jigen got up again to free his friend, taking the baby from him to hold.  His usual slouch made his chest just the most perfect baby resting place. "There, you nap there," he soothed, patting him on the back to keep him calm.  "Goemon, did you check on the bi...the mother?" he corrected quickly.

"She left last night," Goemon sighed, putting an arm around the baby fox's shoulders to pull him closer.  "She came to my room before I could go in to check on her.  She said she was going to Switzerland to cry on someone more sympathetic.  I tried to stop her but she had her heart set on taking off the baby weight the easy way."

"Sorry, man, I knew you had hopes," Jigen said quietly.  Goemon shrugged slightly then relaxed again.  "Man, did Lupin drink a few gallons of tea?"

"I hear Xander so he probably stopped to greet him," Goemon suggested with a small smirk.  Lupin walked in with Xander, and repossessed his lap buddy, sitting down with him in one of the more comfortable chairs next to Jigen.  "Good morning, Xander, did you spend the rest of the night better?"

"I still had odd dreams," Xander admitted, coming in to sit next to Lupin, looking down at the obvious baby.  "Hi," he said softly.  "Do I know you too?"  The baby shook his head solemnly.  "Then I'm Xander.  What's your name?" he asked with a small grin. "You look pretty neat."

"I'm Kori," he said quietly, slowly shifting over until Lupin handed him over.  "No want me?"

"I think Xander wanted a hug from you too, then you can come back if you don't like him," Lupin promised, grinning at him.

Xander hugged the baby and from the look on his face more memories were coming free.  "I did this a lot, huh?" he asked quietly, settling in with the baby.

"Yup, sure did," Jigen agreed.  "That's why all the kids called you the mommy."

Goemon looked at him.  "You were the most caring step-parent to all our children, Xander, they would be much worse if not for you."

"Wow."  Xander looked down at the sleepy baby.  "I think he's got a small fever.  Unless they're supposed to be that warm?"

"No, I don't think so," Lupin admitted, testing the edge of an ear.  A small paw batted at his hand.  "It's this or the thermometer that goes up the butt, kiddo."  He looked at Jigen.  "Warm ears."

"Hey, Lotus?" Jigen called.  She opened the door, with Arsene right behind her.  "We need the kitsune, could you tell Bix to call them?  Kori has a fever."

She walked in and tested the side of the baby's muzzle, then gave him a light kiss on the head.  "I can do that," she promised.  She went to call them herself, tuning in the mirror the Lord of the Kitsune had given her.  "Hey," she told the guard.  "We've got another escapee down here and he's got a small fever.  It's worrying Xander and Lupin sick," she said quietly.

"Do you know his name?"

"Jigen called him Kori."

"Ah, we were wondering."

"Is it contagious?" she asked.  "We do have infants.  My baby brother was finally born."

"No, it shouldn't be.  He's got sleeping fever."

"He was all-but asleep," she agreed.  "Cool compress?"

"That should be fine.  Just let him sleep for right now.  It's part of growing up for us," the guard advised.  "I'll tell the healers."  The mirror went dark and he went to the main hall, interrupting the screaming people.  "One of the escapees has sleeping sickness, Lord?"  He waved a hand, nodding grandly.  "He's on Lupin's lap using him as a pillow.  Lotus said he's running a small fever.  Lotus said that she's getting him a cool compress and that her baby brother was finally born."

"Excellent," he agreed.  "Anything else?"

"So far no one's reported the other one, but I do still suggest we look at that Ethan person's house.  He is close enough to the envoy to have his taint all over that place."

"Good point.  I'll go personally.  It'll save me from the complaining."  He stood up to the shocked looks.  "Next time, don't wake me up to do something that you could have done," he scolded.  "Even I get to sleep in some mornings."  He strolled off, going to gather a healer and send him to Lupin's house before going to Ethan's.  He found the missing ones curled up in the prayer room on the pillows.  "Such naughty kits," he cooed, picking them up and taking them back.  The last one resisted so he took him alone, teleporting him back to the infirmary since he was so warm.  "Here, they were on the mortal plane."

"The mortal plane?  With sleeping sickness?  What's next, we'll find out it's transmuted to humans?  Or demons?"

"Could Xander get it?" the head kitsune asked worriedly.  "He's in a bit of a delicate position right now."

"No," the healer said, frowning at him.  "It is not catchable by any other species but ours, Lord."

"Oh, that's good.  Because Xander is in bad shape."  He shrugged and went back to his throne room, finding everyone gone.  "Good!" he said happily.  "I can go back to sleep!"  He skipped off back to his bedroom, stripping as he walked through the doorway and heading back to his warm bed partner and the sheets they had been keeping warm for him.

***

The healer walked into the study, frowning at the baby.  "Poor thing," he soothed, moving the cool compress to test the baby's fur.  "Yes, you are a bit warm but nothing critical.   Someone was quite worried about you."  He looked at Jigen, noticing what the baby was lying in.  "I remember that pouch, she was quite proud of it."

"He got it for the baby," Jigen offered.

"I'm not surprised, Kori is a loving little kit."  He looked at the baby again, then at the person holding him. "What the hell happened to you!" he snapped.  "Who did that?  You let someone hurt him like that?" he demanded of Lupin.

"No," Lupin said bitterly.  "They took him and did it.  There was no 'let' involved, thank you.  We want the old Xander back as much as you do.  Especially if he was just a few years older."

"I'm sorry they deaged me so much but it's not my fault," Xander said defensively.  He gave the baby a squeeze.

"We know that," Lupin soothed, stroking his arm.  "If you had asked for this, I would have kicked your ass, but we know you didn't ask for this, Xan.  We just want you better.  The age thing will be cured fast enough and we'll deal until then.  Even if I do have blue balls for the next two years."  He saw the healer's confused look.  "He's presently sixteen, two years under the age of consent in most of the world."

"Except in Iran, where girls can be married at eight and boys at thirteen," Jigen reminded him.

"Yeah, except for there and some other places," Lupin agreed.  He looked at the doorway, then at Jigen.  "That's a punishment."

"It is," Jigen agreed.  "Political marriages are a great one."

The healer rolled his eyes.  "She does it to get attention, gentlemen, give her some.  Hug her each and every time she does it and then give her a time-out."  He picked up the baby.  "Come, Xander, now."

"Yes, sir," he sighed, following him back to the portal.  He was pushed through and followed the gentle shoves to his back, shrugging at the curious foxes staring at them.  "He said so.  I can't fight him, you know that."

"Father's asleep, can I take a message?" the Lord's elder son asked dryly, staring at them.  "You, meek?"

"Only with him, he pinches," Xander defended. "Plus he took the baby from me."

"Here," the healer said, handing the baby back to him.  "The baby has sleeping sickness and Xander is quite ill due to some chemicals that were pumped into his body against his will.  I'm bringing him back to detoxify him.  Do you think your father will mind?"

"Wake me again and I'll cut off your head," the Lord called sourly, the magic making his voice appear all over the castle while he was still snuggled up to the warm chest.

"Yes, sir," the healer said with a grin for the son.  "That's fine, correct?"

"Sure, why not.  Go get the rest of them too.  All but Lupin."

"He'll pout," Xander warned.

"He may, but he's only allowed up here if he's gotten special dispensation and I can't give it.  As you heard, my father is quite the grouch right now.  His man is not happy."  He twiddled his fingers then walked away.  "Have fun being a pillow."

"Sure, I like kids apparently," Xander agreed, following the healer.  He stopped to look at the other babies.  "Oooh, what's wrong?" he cooed, patting one that was staring at the ceiling.  "Can't you sleep?  Does the mean old doctor need to read you a bedtime story?"

"We can let the nannies do that," one healer said, staring at him. "Humans, again?"

"The Envoy Xander has been poisoned by someone," his healer said, taking Xander back to his private work space. "Ignore him, he's a pain," he muttered as he sat the duo on his work table, taking the baby to lay with the others.  "Here, this one has a small fever and is at the sleeping stage now."  He went back to Xander's side, forcing him to lie down, then knocking him out.  This was hard on a body but it would need to be done.  One of his coworkers came in, giving him an odd look.  "The Lord was correct, the memory suppression is chemical and it is wearing off, and if it wears off wrong then he'll try to run and Lupin will get pissed and come after us again because he thinks we'll be aiding him," he explained.

"Oh.  I was wondering if you needed the blue mix or the green one."

"The nasty yellow one actually.  He'll need a full cellular level detox, and then we've got to look at someone for his aging problems.  Somehow they managed to deage him to sixteen."

"Ow.  Poor lovers."  She went to the medicine cabinet to retrieve the potion for him, bringing it back.  "Here you go.  Have fun with him.  That's all there was in the cabinet so someone will have to brew some more."

"Then I'll need to send the list to someone down there," he said thoughtfully.  "Can you send in a messenger?"

"Of course."  She wandered off to do that, getting one of the guards just in case.  The mortal realm was dangerous after all.  "The human healer needs a messenger," she told her personal favorite.  "I believe you'll be heading down to a chaos sorcerer's house."

"Oh, no, what this time?" he moaned, heading to get sucked into the new message.  "Yes, sir?" he asked as he walked in.  "Is the envoy all right?"

"Someone poisoned his brain with chemicals to erase his memories and alter his personality.  We're detoxing him.  Take that yellow potion in the small vial, the one I poured out, and the card under it, to Ethan Rayne and tell him he's making the potion for Xander please."

"Of course, sir.  I'll be back."

"Don't worry about it until the potion is done, he has a few hours our time."

"Yes, Lord."  He took everything, disappearing to the portals, then taking one down to England. They didn't upset the fairies but putting a portal anywhere near Stonehenge, but Xander was nice enough to give them permission to put one at his houses.  He heard a fearful squeak and grinned at the woman standing there in the maid's costume.  "Don't worry, it's a portal to come and go.  I won't be back for days," he soothed.  He disappeared again, going invisible so he could rush across the countryside.  He stepped into the kitchen and looked around.

Rupert was reading at the table and he knew without looking up what was in the doorway.  "He's still in bed."

"We need him to brew a potion for Xander," the fox spirit said as he became visible.  "It's to help clear the chemicals out of his mind."

Rupert looked up.  "Your kind have a cure for that?"

"The healer is removing all foreign chemicals from his body."

Rupert nodded once and got up to get a soda from the fridge, handing it over.  "You'll need that as soon as it's done.  Trust me," he assured at the confused look.  "Ethan!  Visitor!" he yelled, going back to his book.  "That's enough warning, go get him up if you want."

"Thank you."  He trotted up the stairs, finding the chaos sorcerer mumbling into the damp pillow beside his head.  He put everything down and smirked, then decided to act like a kit.  He pounced, making the human shriek and jump up to get away from him.  "Good, you're up," he said, flipping back his forelock.  "The healer needs you to brew something for Xander.  I have a sample of the detoxification formula and the formula itself.  Did you need anything else?" he asked, sounding quite professional.

Ethan blinked at the smug, four-foot tall bastard.  "Are you Arsene?" he asked finally.

The kitsune guard cracked up.  "No, she's not one of us, but she does many of us proud.  Said if her father didn't want Xander she'd take him."

Ethan shuddered.  "Eww!"  He shook his head quickly.  "You brought a soda?"

"Your bodyslave gave it to me, he thought I'd need it to give to the Envoy.  Can you or can you not brew this?"

"Of course I bloody well can," he said, snatching the formula and vial from his hands.  He stepped off the bed so he could go down to his workarea.  "What does this do?"

"It's drunk and then takes all foreign chemicals out of your body."

Ethan paused to look at him. "Take the soda to Xander," he advised calmly.  "Feed it to him as soon as he wakes up.  Otherwise you may have *hours* of him being hyper."  He continued on, pulling down his favorite cauldron since it was clean.  "Is it corrosive or will it react to pewter?"  The guard gave him a clueless look.  "Fine, can you open some sort of speaking system?  Since I doubt I can call you lot on the phone."

"Oh, yeah, sure," he agreed, changing the mirror on the wall to the one in the main throneroom, where all of them had to start.  "He's brewing for a healer and needs to be transferred to them."

"Fine," the other guard sighed, transferring him over.  "Stupid humans."

"Lotus should be coming soon," the guard on the mortal realm said with a smirk.  He loved that little girl, she was so cute.

"Fuck!"

"What is wrong this time!" the guard commander demanded.

"The guard sent as a messenger said that Lotus was coming back up," he said miserably.  "Permission to be used as an archery target instead, sir?"

"Denied," he snapped.  "Do your job and shut your muzzle."  He looked at the other one, who saluted.  "Where are you?"

"Doing messenger duty for the healers," Ethan said calmly.  "We really do need to talk to one of them before I can start this.  It will depend on what I brew this in."  The portal was changed over.  "Your superior?"

"Over training.  That one was nearly eaten by Lotus the last time.  Her tree did not like him."  He waved at the healer, then at Ethan.  "He had questions."

"I need to know if pewter is an acceptable substance to brew in or should it be pure silver?"

"It's not truly corrosive expect to human bodies," he admitted.  "Then it eats anything that is unnatural."

"So probably silver would be better if aluminum wasn't better yet," Ethan muttered, putting up his favorite one for his third-favorite cauldron.  "I can do that.  How much?"

"Please double that if it's no trouble, Sorcerer Rayne.  We like to keep some in store and we'll need a second dose for Xander in approximately three days your time."

"Lupin let him go that long?"

"He's been brought up because he pounced the guard and made him," he said dryly.  "He and the children are all here at the moment, with Bix keeping the others in line."  He smirked at the guard.  "Feel thankful, the one who took your spot on the line is their official guide."  The kitsune shuddered so the healer winked.  "Thank you for running that errand for me."

"Oh, no, thank you, sir," he said earnestly.  "I love Lotus, but Arsene is not one I want to tangle with again.  Last time I did, she plucked some fur from my tail."  He glanced at Ethan, then at the healer again.  "He accused me of being her," he said happily.  "I'll leave this tuned."  He muted the picture, turning it gray, and watched as Ethan chopped.

"Go do something meaningful to yourself," Ethan said, making a shooing motion with one hand.  "I can't work with people staring at me."

"Fine, sorcerer.  Thank you for doing this chore for us."

"It's bad enough Janus decided to help the aging thing," he muttered. "I didn't get to help at all."

"Are you sure it was all him?"  The kitsune decided to check out something it had heard about from the children.  "Tele," he said, staring at the box.  "How do you work?"  He looked around and then zapped it with a bit of magic, turning it on.  He sat down to stare at it, turning his head to the side.  "Why would you watch that?  It's supposed to be personal."

Rupert walked in.  "Ah, you unblocked the porn station."  He found the remote and handed it over.  "Change channels with that."  He walked away shaking his head.  "Ethan, he did what you've been trying to do."

"Thank him for me and tape the next one please," Ethan called back.

"Do I sound like the slutty little vampire bastard you fuck on occasion?" Rupert snorted.  "Put in a tape yourself."

Ethan looked at the knife in his hand, then at the doorway, eyes narrowed.  He looked at the statue he kept in there, but the heads were shaking.  "Please?" he hissed.  "Just one non-killing one?"

The frowning face looked at him.  "Then we'd lose him."

"Not if I tied him down and fucked him senseless afterwards, pointing out that he was driving me insane."

"Fine," the smiling head sighed.  "One non-fatal one.  That is all."

"Of course, thank you, Lord."  He bowed deeply.  "Let me go correct your lesser priest before I truly do slip my mental fetters."  He stalked Rupert and took the knife, grabbing him to pull back against his chest.  "Keep it up," he growled.  "I do have permission to teach you however I see fit, Rupert.  You will become a proper sacrifice to Janus while tied to my altar, on your back, with your bloody hole screamingly open and begging for mercy and future pleasure."  He made a little slice on the bottom of the other man's chin.  "Our blood does please the Lord and my future insanity will make you the high priest."  He stomped off, going to give the knife at the altar.  "Thank you, Lord Janus.  If I may do it again, just instruct me so," he said flippantly.  "I needed that release."  He went back to his potion making.  He was quite good at it after all.

In the kitchen, Rupert was holding a papertowel to his chin, staring at the wall in horror.  "What have I gotten myself into?" he muttered. "Why am I here?"

Marcus appeared and pounced Rupert, clapping the ancient manacles around his wrist.  "You are here to please the high priest, the same as I am," he purred in his ear.  "Now you shall."  He drug him into the altar room, chaining him beside it.  "Thank you for the summons, Lord Janus.  May I pleasure him for your viewing pleasure?"

"Marcus!" Rupert said in shock.  "He can't hear you."

Janus' heads looked at Rupert, then at Marcus.  "Please, but turn him a bit this way so we can see him do it better," he requested, then the smiling head smirked at Rupert for good measure.  "So sure we're not real?"

Rupert whimpered, going limp in his bonds.  "You speak!"

"He does to Arsene as well," Marcus said proudly.  "Xander and I have given him a new priestess for his future pleasures."  He cut the clothes off Rupert's body, tossing them carelessly into the hallway, then he stripped himself.  "How best should I pleasure you, Lord?"

"Oh, just go for it however," the smiling head said.

The frowning head looked at them.  "Put him across the altar, young one.  That way we can have a good view of how our lesser priest gives us offerings from his body for our pleasure."  Marcus carefully cleaned off the altar, spreading a new layer of herbs on it before slamming Rupert onto it face down and mounting him with a feral growl.  "Hmm, I like that," the head said, starting to look a bit more pleased.

"I can't see, move," the other head complained.

Marcus lifted up the statue and put it on the back of Rupert's shoulders, letting the heads face him if they both turned to look.  "How's that, Lord?"

"Quite nice," the smiling head admitted.  "Harder, my young stud."  Marcus sped up, making Rupert howl and grip the altar as his pleasure flowed out of him.   "Already done?  Where is the famous stamina you used to show?" that head said sadly.

"I'm nowhere near ready to let him go, Lord.  Perhaps your High Priest should allow himself a short break for your pleasure as well?" he asked as he continued to work himself inside the limp body.  "Remember, Rupert, we are all here at the whim and pleasure of Lord Janus.  Were there some way we could get him out of that statue for a bit, I'm sure he would love for us to worship him fully.  I hear Lord Priapus has nothing on him."

Rupert moaned and grabbed on, staying still.  He knew Ethan and Marcus would both chastise him if he let the statue fall off his body.  It wasn't like he minded this, but Ethan was still going to pay later.  Marcus always gave him good ideas for pissing off his lover.

The kitsune guard walked in and bowed to the statue.  "Lord Chaos, many greetings from my own Lord and Master.  May I serve you in any way while I am waiting on the potion for the Envoy?"

Janus smirked at him.  "If you so wish," the smiling head said smugly.  "Rupert won't mind, he likes such things."

"Lord," Rupert pleaded.

Marcus patted him on the back.  "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be quite gentle.  The kistune are not beastly creatures after all."  He finished and slumped for a moment before pulling out and going to lie on the pile of pillows, waving a hand at the used body.  "Have at him for Janus' pleasure," he offered.  "He has offered his body and soul up to the Lord and this is how he chooses to have him pay his prayers."

The kitsune stripped and stepped up, sliding inside the warm body.  "Hmm, lack of fur is odd," he noted, going as fast as his lithe, strong hips could.  Rupert was moaning and groaning around him, clamping him as hard as he could.  "Would that I could please him in your name, Lord Janus, I would do so.  How should I do him?"

"No, you're doing just fine," he said happily, winking at him from the frowning head.  "My poor little priest is quite the servant.  I should test this sometime, when he has doubts of my patronage and pleasure in his life."  Rupert whimpered but he clamped harder around the invader, making the kitsune speed up.  "Good boy, Rupert.  You please me with your service today.  I wish I could have you myself, but my people will do for now.  Perhaps tonight while you sleep Morpheus will help me be with you myself."

Rupert whimpered and wiggled but the kitsune was quite skillful and he knew just what he needed to get off, and kept him from doing so. "Please," he croaked. "I want to offer an offering for my Lord and Master."

"Good pet," Ethan said as he walked in, already naked.  The kistune gave him an awed look.  "Engorgement charm.  Rupert hates it when I enhance myself."  The kitsune got out of his way and Ethan slid inside, making Rupert howl.  "Yes, that is more pleasurable for our Lord," he said smugly, going as hard as he dared.  The top of the altar wasn't hitched down at the moment and he didn't want his statue to fall off in the violence of their mating.  Janus laughed and cheered him on, liking this quite a lot.  Rupert was enjoying it as well, you could tell by his body being so loose and how he was begging and pleading for more.  So Ethan expanded himself some more and Rupert moaned, trying hard to get more into him.

***

Arsene was drug into the throne room by one of the guards, who handed the succubus envoy the pretty diamond chain that he had woven in his hair the night before.  "What?" she defended.

"You got caught?" the Lord asked, looking down at her.

"No!"

The guard scowled at his boss, then at the little girl.  "We had heard the envoy wondering where it was so we searched the first logical place, sire."

"Which is totally illegal.  There are certain legal procedures that must be followed before a legal search is performed, including a search warrant," Arsene defended, crossing her arms.  The guard's fur started to stand on end so she subtly shifted away from him while the head of the kitsune laughed. "Don't you have legal search procedures?"

"Yes, we do," he agreed between guffaws.  "You should see your face," he told the guard.

"Sire!  She is a danger to our way of life!" he shouted, pointing at the little girl.  "We should not put up with this.  She should be put in our cells!"

"That may be, but she is the one who is teaching our young their traditional lessons in how to be a thief, she and her father," the Lord said, calming himself.  "Thank you, I needed that laugh, Arsene.  It really is not polite to steal from your hosts, unless you enter their homes under false pretenses, and that takes from your honor, dear.  Now, why did you do that?"

"I was showing my class," she sniffed.  She glanced at the demonic envoy then back at him.  "A few of them are quite good at it, but a few have no idea what 'sneak silently' means yet."

"That's fine.  Give back everything you've stolen, young lady.  I know you have one of my silver combs and that was a diplomatic gift."

"Sure, he's already confiscated that," she said, flicking her fingers at the guard.  "Can I go back to my class?  They're doing pretty good considering how young they are."

"Go," he said tolerantly.  He looked at the guard and sighed.  "We do not have anyone who can teach the traditional lessons on how to steal and loot, Orinii.  We must allow those who are best at it to do their lessons and that family is the best.  Plus, our young and the younger of us who still do work will have to work with them in the future.  They are the future of crime in the mortal realm.  Do you want us to be at odds with them?  Or would you rather weather the small inconveniences.  I'm sure the demonic envoy doesn't mind being the practice for the children's lessons?"  The succubus shook his head quickly, smothering his smile of pleasure.  The kids were quite wonderful.

"Besides, Orinii, I remember you when you were that age.  You needed a patient teacher to teach you how to sneak as well.  You had one and the next generation deserves the same.  They are very patient teachers and it does leave the future envoy in our possession for many lessons in how to be among us and not cause problems.  Plus," he added happily, "it means that most of us don't have to go hunting the kits who don't want to deal with us, they're all with Bix and Xander."  The guard scowled.  "Would you rather you teach those lessons?" he asked patiently.  The guard shook his head quickly. "Surely you can't protest their necessity?"  The guard shuddered.  "Then why begrudge them the best that there presently is.  They've helped their replacement get his fame and fortune started, plus we can teach the children more about honor.  Do learn to get along at least.  By the time you mate, we will have a fully human envoy all the time with Sarah.  You must get used to them.  Yu is not that bad either," he offered.  "He adores you."

"He does, but he is still human."

The Lord rolled his eyes.  "They're just unfurry Kitsune, Orinii.  Do get over it.  This speciest attitude is causing a rift.  You and the others will have to learn to get along.  Next year we have been offered the chance of a diplomatic visit from the Imperial Dragon.  Would you begrudge your people allies who would defend them to the death?  Because I do know that even Lupin the Third will do so because his mate will ask it of him and he will help his mate in all things.  He has stuck up for us in the past."

"Fine," the guard said bitterly. "I still believe that one of us should be doing that."

"One will," the incubus noted calmly.  "Once he is practiced enough to know all the tricks of the trade.  Give it ten years and he'll be teaching the young readily.  For now, there is nothing that can be done.  There are no kitsune with the experience of even little Alex and Fred."  He shrugged.  "Besides, they do liven things up around here.  I've seen some of the young kitsune following along as Goemon teaches his children, especially Ishi.  I've seen the arms masters going against Jigen and Xander now that he's regaining his memories.  The children will be formidable allies."  He smirked. "Besides, there is no inbreeding going on.  Your race is still pure, but not against outsiders coming in to learn from your magnificence.  The demonic court is much more stiff and formal with all the unwritten rules, but it's also bloodthirsty and annoying most of the time since I've learned what a real court is like."  He flinched as a touch of flame touched his skin.  "I believe my own Lord heard me.  Perhaps I should bring the Envoy down for his birthday present," he said darkly, glaring at the floor.  "Do quit now, thank you."  The fire stopped and he looked at the kitsune again.  "If I do leave, my student will be taking over."  He walked off, going to put his braiding rope away.  He walked through his doorway and found himself in hell.  "You called?" he asked the child on the throne.  "I am doing as I'm supposed to, being diplomatic."

The child waved the portal away.  "I take no offense.  There is a fine tradition of moving up by eating or killing your betters by ripping them to shreds," the Lord of Hell noted.  "They are a much calmer and more regal court.  What I have a problem with is that Lavelle is among them."  He leaned forward.  "Tell me what has happened," he ordered.

The incubus came forward, sitting at his feet.  "My Lord, a stupid human did take him prisoner after stealing the youth potion the Sorcerer Rayne was making for himself and Lavelle's mates.  They did use it on Lavelle, which made him sixteen for some reason, and then did addle his brains with chemicals to try and learn his secrets.  He came out not knowing he had children, who they were, or who his mates were.  They have been working on it but some fine details are still missing."

"And his marks?"

"Lord, he does not appear unclothed and uncloaked in front of me," the incubus pointed out gently.  "It would not be proper.  Though I have heard rumors that one maid did see one of them, but she was able to fight it off because he didn't want to hurt her and he actively fought the compulsion it placed on her mind.  He got her to the healers immediately and it saved her sanity and her ability to make decisions.  Otherwise, I fear he is as he was, but he is younger.  They all are, but the Envoy is much younger.  I believe the reason he was accepted up there was because the kitsune would have no problems if Lavelle's mates wanted to have relations with him, even though he may technically be underaged.  I know no other facts, Lord."

"Still, that was more than I had known," the Lord of Hell murmured, stroking the incubus on the cheek.  "You have done well, my servant.  How may I reward you?"

"May I have one as my own, Lord?" he pleaded. "I have found a student and he is worthy of the title, but I fear he needs a better trainer than I and I would adore having a secretary to chase around."

Satan smiled and patted him on the cheek again, letting his fingertips linger as he pulled them away. "I will allow such as long as you are gentle with them and you do not keep such good news from me in the future," he promised.  "Is the one who hurt him dead?"

"He is according to Lupin, Master."  He looked down at his lap, then back up at him. "Lupin claims the one known as Jigen did shoot him in the groin, just above his manhood, and then did let him bleed to death from the vein spurting out."  The Devil smirked and leaned back so the incubus leaned against his calf.  "I wish I could have seen him, Lord, but I have not.  Perhaps he is down here?"

"He is, and I had seen what he did to the boy.  Give Lupin the Third this message, servant.  Tell him that the problem Xander is having is partially because the man was trying to force himself on the boy to prove his own worth.  He did not want a gay man to succeed where he was lacking.  Also let him know that our deal stands."

"Yes, Lord, are there other messages?"

"No, slave.  Go."

"Yes, Master."  He stood up and kissed him on the forehead, then bowed and left.  He looked at his student as he reappeared.  "I have arranged for you to have advanced studies in sexual relations, they can answer all those questions you have about alternative sexual practices.  Go now."  The incubus-in-training bowed and hurried back through the portal.  A new demon walked through and bowed at his feet, forehead to his toes.  "Good. Are you my reward?"

"Yes, sire," he whispered.  "I am your reward."

"Up."  The servant stood and looked at his chest.  "In my eyes.  You may do so while I am in a pleasant mood.  You are to be my secretary and my assistant as well as my toy."  He tipped the human's face up to look into his eyes.  "Which had you?"  A word was whispered.  "Hmm.  He doesn't usually train."

"He was the one I got when I summoned," the boy whispered, licking his lips.  "I do appreciate the opportunity to move up in the hierarchy of consorts, Master.  How may I serve you?"

"First, you may make a neater mess of my desk and my appointment book.  Then I will test what that one has been teaching you."  The boy nodded and went to the desk to start on his first task.  "Naked, my pet.  In here you are to be unclothed so I may watch your body as you move."

The consort-wannabe took off his clothes and stood for his inspection.  "Do I measure up, Lord?"

The incubus looked at the long cock, then nodded.  "Even if you can't use it, I can teach you easily enough.  Get to work.  Remember, no coming unless I order it."

"Yes, Master."

"Good, pet."  He went to lie on the bed so he could pleasure himself while he watched his new pet.  He was quite handsome and very well built.  It would be an honor to finish his education using his own necessities as a guide.  After all, succuba had to have sex at least twice a day to stay healthy.  "Xander would have made a good one of us," he whispered, continuing to stroke himself.  He noticed his pet looking and smirked at him. "Do you like what you see?"   The young man nodded, licking his lips again.  "Then come pleasure me before going back to your task."  The boy walked over and dove onto him mouth-first to pleasure him until his new Master couldn't take any more.  "Good boy," he praised, patting the dark head.  "How old are you?"

"Twenty, Master.  Am I too old?"

"No, pet, not at all.  I do not appreciate those who are too young, as most of my kind don't.  You are just fine and more than what I needed.  Go back to the desk."  The new pet did so without a protest, knowing he would be punished.  He was already well on his way to perfect training.  He'd have to tell the trainer how well he had done with the human.

***

On the other side of the palace, Lupin the Third was sneaking into a room and locking the door tightly against his favorite child.  He might love his daughter but she was not stealing his man.  There were many thing he would share with her, but Xander was not on that list.  He paused to look at his love in the moonlight, smirking at the tight little body. His babe was a babe.  He snuck closer to the bed and leaned down to kiss him gently awake. It was only fitting for such a prince.

Meet Lupin the... Fifth?

NC-17, Xander/Lupin (herm, m/m, and m/f)

Ishi looked at the kitsune bouncing around his legs, patting him on the head to stop him from moving.  "What's going on now?  Another baby being born?"

"No, there's a convention!" he whined.  "Can we go?"

"You'd have to ask your parents, the same as I would," Ishi pointed out gently.  The young kitsune ran into the palace, only slowing down when he got near the official parts.  Ishi went to find his father and his Uncle Xander, who still didn't remember everything, but most of it.  "I was just told there's a convention coming up."

Goemon looked at his son, then nodded once. "You may go.  Register yourself and your uncle."

"Yes, father.  Thank you."  He grinned.  "Allowance?"

"Use my credit card," he sighed, turning to look at Xander, who was bouncing slightly, but he looked confused.  "I still say Lupin's not trying hard enough if he can't cure the rest of it," he told him.

Xander shrugged.  "It hasn't happened yet.  We're talking costumes and things?"

Ishi smirked at him. "You have the most massive store of costumes of anyone ever met, Uncle Xander.  You really do have to go."

"Sure," he agreed happily.  "Will they mind the whole silver haired thing?"

"Of course not," Ishi sighed, pulling him along.  He ran into Jigen in the hallway. "We're going to the next convention.  He'll need his cards and Father said Uncle Lupin had to try harder to free the last few memories."  Jigen gave him a long look, then took Xander from him and walked away.  "What?"

"Quit taking language lessons from Arsene," Jigen called back.  He pushed Xander into their suite, letting Lupin catch him.  "There's a con."

"Really?" he asked smugly.  "Then we should go."

"Goemon said Ishi could too," Xander assured him.  "Am I going as someone?"

"Can I go?" Arsene shouted from her room.

"Only if you suddenly become a good little girl," Jigen called back.  She walked out, pout already in place.  "Like I thought, it's not possible."

"Bastard," she spat with a glare.  "I've been good all week!  My classes are doing wonderfully and I'm doing good in my classes on the other subjects too.  I should be allowed a treat.  Especially if Ishi's going or else all the girls will just mob him and hang all over him without someone to defend his panties and honor."

Lupin the Third looked at his heir then shook his head.  "That's not convincing enough, daughter.  Try again later."  He looked at Xander and pulled him down into his lap with a light chuckle.  "What should you go as this time?"

"I still don't remember all that stuff," Xander complained.  "I'd feel phoney."

"You're not. You're a die-hard fan, Xander," Jigen assured him. "You've got so many costumes you're watched to see who you're coming as this time.  I'm voting for one of the mice ones just in case someone notices his present age."

"If you think so," Xander said quietly, staring up at him.  "Why does everyone think Lupin can work some miracle on the rest of my memories?"

"Because I've managed to remove scar tissue in the past with sex," Lupin whispered in his ear. "I've been trying but you haven't been in that special place in a while, Xan.  Maybe it's because you're not female at the moment.  That time you started out female and transferred over."  He stroked the hard stomach, making his young lover moan.  "Daughter, bedroom."

"Oh, please!" she sighed, stomping out of the suite.  She looked at the guard coming her way.  "Daddy and Daddy Xander are trying to finish unblocking his memory again so he can go to the convention.  Interrupt, please."

The fox spirit blushed and his ear tips went up.  "I probably shouldn't but I do have a message for them.  Do you think they'd mind?"

"Nope.  Dads, message!" Arsene called, strolling off.  She'd get to go to that convention one way or another.  She found the Lord of the Kitsune in his meditation garden and sat down next to him until he shoved her away.  "There's a convention coming and I can't go."

"So take your class," he suggested.

"Thank you."  She kissed him on the cheek and headed off, wiping off the shed fur that had stuck to her lips.   She walked into her classroom and found a few of her students using it to study the books she had told them to read. "All right, we've got a small dilemma.  There's a fandom convention coming and I want to go.  My parents are complaining.  That means that you guys all have to beg and plead them for me to take you, even if you don't want to go.  You can always duck out at the last minute."

"So it's a subterfuge," the female between the three males said, smirking at her.  "I like that."

"Thanks, your dad suggested it," she said with a shrug.  "I'm stymied at the moment.  I need a grand new theft."

"Can we watch you during the convention?" one of the boys asked.  "If we're really careful?"

"Only if you work on your invisibility stuff.  You still come out of it randomly and you need to have more control."

"Sure," he agreed happily.  The students got together, discussing how to implement the study plans.

Arsene picked up her textbook and went back to her room to read ahead.  Even she had found some things she didn't know, and the section on teasing a sleeping lover was really fascinating.

***

Lupin led his lover into the convention area and promptly lost sight of Ishi and his daughter, the little brat who had made it impossible for them to come alone.  He sighed and went to the check-in desk.  "Lupin, two rooms?" he asked.  "One's a suite for two kids and *please* block the porn.  My daughter will try to watch it otherwise."

The woman behind the counter looked from him to Xander and back.  "And this child?"

"He's a legal adult, he just doesn't look like it," Lupin said impatiently.  "Really, he is.  Want to see his ID?"  She shook her head and took his credit card to check them in.  He took all the key cards and the credit card back.  "Thanks."  He walked Xander over to Misty's desk.  "Hey.  I finally found him and he didn't remember me."

"We heard," she said with a grin.  He looked confused.  "Jonas told us."

"Oh."  He nodded.  "As you can see, the chemicals also seemed to have deaged him too."

"I had noticed he was looking a bit...young.  Is he legal?"  Lupin scowled at her so she laughed.  "Never mind.  I'm sure you live somewhere where it's not a problem.  I have your registrations here and Ishi and Arsene have already run past and snatched theirs.  No costumes?"

"He's got two or three upstairs," Lupin admitted.  "Including one of the mice and his school girl outfit."  She gasped and he smirked. "Trade secret, but maybe it'll help."  He shrugged and pinned Xander's badge to his chest.  "Where is Paul and is everyone else in yet?"

"Teddy's not coming this time.  He and his wife are having a divorce problem so he can't leave the area.  She keeps trying to take off with his daughter, yet he can't bring her here to protect her and have some fun.  The judge thinks we're obsessed too."   Lupin snickered.  "So he won't be here.  As far as I know, Jonas and Paul have already hooked up and so have most of the others.  I haven't seen Jerry yet, but I'm sure he's around somewhere.  Ask Vicious, he'd know, he was chatting with someone who I thought was him earlier."

"Thanks, love.  Consider us here, if not fully all there."  He walked Xander inside and everyone they knew stared at them.  "You mean you didn't hear about his memories?  We're finishing the shakedown."

A man dressed as Vicious walked over and tipped Xander's face up.  He checked behind his ears, then looked at Lupin.  "Okay, I give.  How?  It's not makeup and it's not surgery."

"It was the chemicals that fucked his mind," Lupin said bitterly.  "He's nearly fully back, but he doesn't seem to remember you guys and your poker games yet."

Vicious smirked.  "Nice one.  Come on, Xander, let me reintroduce you, I'm sure you can remember some of us."  He walked him off, taking him to Jonas.  "So I owe you ten Euros," he said with a shrug.

Jonas hugged Xander as hard as he could.  "From Rupert, not the vampire Ripper.  He wanted me to spank you for making Rupert worry."  He grinned.  "Still not remembering everything?"

"It's like some fuzzy shadow most of the time.  Sometimes I get some pictures and others I don't.  Arsene!"  Both of them looked at him.  "Do not do that to him!  You don't know where he's been!"

"Dad, this is Uncle Ray," she said patiently.  "I know where he's been, he's been with Great-Gramps Zenigata."

"That's my girl," Lupin said proudly as he came over to pat Ray on the back.  "Why didn't you catch her?"  Ray looked up from his comic and blinked a few times.  "Never mind, Ray."

"Hey, you're back.  Zenny's been goin' nuts looking for you guys.  Where have you been?"

"With the ...." Little Arsene started.

"With some friends who have been helping with Xander's memories," Lupin said, kicking her on the ankle.  "We're back for a bit then we're going back into hiding since Pops is so worried about Xan's apparent age."

"Oh, no, he thinks he can rehabilitate him now into a good guy," he said smugly.  "Hey, Xan?"  Xander looked at him and grinned, so he might remember him somewhat.  "Do you wanna go to the police academy with me next month?  Zenny, Dawn, and I all think it'd be great for you."

"Touch him and I'm capping you myself," Little Lupin growled. "My man!"

Her father looked down at her.  "I thought you had given up on that delusion, daughter.  He's *mine*.  Not yours, not Jigen's. Mine.  All mine."  Ray cackled.  "She decided to freak everyone out by saying that since Xander looked so young I could give him up and give him to her."

Ray shuddered.  "Eww!  Arsene!"

"Ray, comic," the dealer said gently.  "Please don't wrinkle it."  He paid for it and took another copy too to keep in mint condition.  "Thanks."  She smiled at Arsene.  "Think about sharing a boyfriend with your family, dear.  It's particularly nasty."

"I'd share with Melissa and Ishi if we had similar tastes, but Lotus wants someone nice, soft, gentle, and sweet, like Auntie Bix does."  She skipped on to look at the other things.

"We ran out of her drugs," Lupin shared lightly, going back to his man's side before someone could start lying to him.  "Hey, Ray, don't tell him, okay?  I don't want him to get too hopeful."  He grabbed Xander and pulled him closer.  "There, much better.  I feel more protective now."

"That's good, get your hand out of my waistband while there's kids around," Xander said firmly.

"I can see what you mean about him not being back fully," Paul, the one who sold zines for his cousin, said grimly.  "Usually you'd about tonsil molest him in front of us, Xan."

Xander shrugged.  "Sorry, I'm not used to that yet."

"Which is why we're here," Lupin said smoothly.  "Let me walk him around.  We'll be back soon.  Fortunately I had all his comics collected and sent to his librarian and had her fees paid automatically," he said lightly.  "Now all we have to do is make him remember all this insanity."  He walked Xander on.  "Stop if something seems familiar."

Xander leaned closer.  "Are they my lovers?"

"No, dear, they're your friends.  They don't care what you do as long as you don't involve them, but they're your friends."

"Oh, okay."  He nodded and walked along smiling and happy with his mate. He stopped at one table to look at the anime titles, then frowned and looked at Lupin.  "I know Japanese?"

Lupin nodded. "You're fluent in it."

"Oh.  Cool I guess.  Must make it easier to do without the dubbing."  He picked up some stuff, letting Lupin pay for it for him.  He had said he was going to.

***

Lupin was starting to get frustrated.  He had finally found the kids when they had come whining for dinner.  So they had been fed and tucked into their room, with Ishi promising to keep Arsene off the tv as long as he possibly could.  Now he was alone with Xander, who still wasn't remembering much more.  He seemed to remember Teddy, but the big, hairy guy was pretty hard to forget.  He didn't remember any of the rest of the convention stuff they had shared or even that he had done alone.  He had one last option to go with.  He looked at his lover.  "Xander, do you trust me?"  Xander shrugged. "Okay, normally, do you trust me?"

"I guess.  Do I?"

"Well, you said you can't ever trust anyone fully but you trust me not to hurt you most of the time.  Can I do something that may jog some memories of another timeline?  That may be the key to getting you back."  Xander shifted uncomfortably.  "I promise, it won't hurt, it'll just be really weird."

"I seem to be used to weird," he offered.

"Then close your eyes."  He grabbed the choker he had stolen off Xander's dresser before they had left France and walked over to him, concentrating on Sylvia's form.  He knew it by heart - the feel, the scent, the softness of her skin, and how she always understood him.  He put all that to the front of his mind as he clipped the choker on his boy, making him squeak.  Then he pulled Xander up and put him in front of the mirror.  "Do you recognize her?"

"Of course I do!" she said, swatting at him.  "What the hell are you doing, Lupin?"

"The other side of you is ...."  He paused. She looked her normal age.  "Huh.  The Xander half of you is younger, without his memories, and he can't even remember convention stuff other than Teddy."  Her mouth fell open.  "I was hoping that being you for a few minutes or more might help that.  Besides, I missed you sometimes.  He won't ever wear the choker again."

She gave him a long hug.  "I understand.  Let's see if I can jog myself free."  She moved away from him, sitting on the bed.  "It could be fear.  Have you spooked him?"

"Well, your timeline died and all the kids came here, but that was a while ago," he admitted.  "He kept going on and on about how I never respected him as Xander, but only as you, which I got perfectly," he said at her dirty look.  "I don't have a problem with his decision but I do have a problem with him repressing or being repressed that way.  When we rescued him, he didn't even know he had kids."

"Hmm."  She concentrated on her inner self, like Ethan had shown her so very long ago, and found the blockage after a few hours.  "Eww."

"We took out the chemical part of it," he assured her.  "They detoxed him so fully he even lost his buildup of caffeine in his system."

"We are the same person."

"Then why can you remember and he can't?  And for that matter, why is he sixteen and you're thirty-one?"

She opened her eyes to look at him.  "Hold on, he's sixteen?"  He nodded. "How?"

"Ethan's deaging potion.  We finally got some made in this timeline and Xander was fed some."

"How old was I?"

"Just about to turn thirty-two."

"So I deaged...."  She groaned and shook her head. "Janus!" she growled.  She felt a tingle and sighed.  "Yeah, he had some help in deaging him so far.  Not the memory block though."  She went back to it, finding that spot and another one again.  The second spot needed some healing.  It looked like a bruise and it felt like a bruise so she put some small bit of power against it, whispering a healing spell.  That spot healed but the other seemed to glow brighter.  "There are days when I wish I was Logan," she complained.  "Self-healing seems pretty neat most of the time."

"Yeah, but he never aged either," Lupin pointed out.  "I wouldn't mind Xander being eighteen, but he looks fourteen."

"Yeah, I did, until seventeen," Sylvia agreed.  She tested that second sore spot, wincing when it flashed back against her.  "What the hell are you?" she muttered.  She sighed and stood up, then looked up.  "Yo, a little bit of help here from a wish demon?"  A small female appeared, looking scared.  "Thanks.  What is the thing that's making me forget everything?  Can I wish that knowledge?"  She nodded.  "Then I wish I knew why my male side couldn't remember things and how to fix it."

The wish demon smiled.  "Done."  She smiled shyly at Lupin then disappeared with a small wave.

"Hmm, her will be done," Sylvia said as she sat down again.  "Oh."  She fixed it quickly, unraveling the knot that the chemicals had made in her mind.  It was like the memories had been tangled like chains in a jewelry box.  As soon as the knot unraveled the real reason popped forward and again a healing spell helped that sore spot a lot.  She finally opened her eyes and looked at him. "Undo me.  I'll have a headache.  I hope I can see you again. You were fun," she said with a grin.

He kissed her, taking off the necklace in the middle of it.  He pulled back to look at his lover, noticing his eyes didn't hold that glint of innocent wonder anymore.  "Xander?" he asked softly.  "Are you back?"

Xander looked at him. "I hate you."

Lupin grabbed him to hug him.  "I'm sorry, I'm trying to make it all better," he vowed, holding him so he couldn't stomp out of the room.  "Please don't be mad.  I missed you."

"I'm sure you did, but I'm having troubles with that thing called moving."

"Fine, I'll let you go, as long as you don't leave the room."  He let him go and stepped back.  "Is it all back?"

"More of it, mostly bad stuff," he said bitterly.  "Why did we fight last?"

"Because I was a stupid asshole."

"Yeah, and?"

"Because I didn't understand you the way you needed.  Or are you talking about Goemon's thing?  'Cause he's apologized out the ass."

"No, not his.  I had started to wonder over the last few days too," Xander admitted, pulling his feet up in front of him.  "The last fight we had was over you never respecting me, Lupin, or don't you remember that fight in the woods?"

"Which was because I didn't understand you," he pointed out.  "I'm sorry, I do respect you, Xan.  I always have, I'm sorry I didn't say it."

Xander shrugged.  "Not the point, Lupin.  I'm remembering that we fought.  Nothing else."

"Oh, no, I apologized," he said firmly, glaring at him.  "How dare you not remember that you forgave me."

Xander grimaced and lay back on the bed, getting comfortable.  "Let me sleep on it.  Where are you sleeping?"

"There's another bedroom in case we got more of the kids, or Bix, or I had to sleep over there," he said, sounding dejected as he trudged away.

Xander frowned at his back. "You do pitiful better than anyone I've ever met.  Get your skinny, scrawny butt back here."  Lupin turned and took a running leap to land beside him, curling up around him.  "No cuddling, Lupin, not until I'm sure of some things."

"You let me cuddle for the last few days."

"Yeah, and then I figured out how bad it was between us."

"It's not bad, Xan.  It was a momentary thing.  I've learned my lesson and I'm an asshole."  He gave him a small grin.  "I'm a walking hole with legs attacked and really good hair.  That's all I am."

"Mmm."  He let Lupin cuddle again, getting comfortable first.  He felt the tired body next to him not even react and looked down at him.  "You're not hard."

"I hate this, Xander.  I hate you not knowing things and I hate it when you're upset with me.  If you want I can thinking happier thoughts and get it back up."

"No, be honest, that's what I want."  Xander curled up on his chest again.  "You had to use the choker?" he complained.

"She had all the memories, and she was the right age."

"Shit."  He paused.  "Well, I always knew we were separate in there somehow."

"Apparently you were right," Lupin quipped, stroking the tense back.  "Relax, I promised I wasn't going to do anything to you that you didn't want."  Xander sat up, staring down at him.  "What?"

"Where's my Lupin the Third?"

"Huh?"

"You can't be my Lupin.  Mine isn't that tender or sweet."

"Hey, I've got my moments," he defended.  "Usually because you cause them!"  He scowled at his younger lover.  "I could be ravishing you right now but I decided that you needed to be handled gently until you regained your full memories, even if I did proposition you a few times."

"Oh."  He laid back down then sat back up.  "Why?"

"Because I love you enough to quit fucking other people unless it's for a job?  I even gave up on Sylvia because of you, Xander.  She can't compare to you.  I like the original."

"The original had problems and issues."

"I realize that," Lupin agreed calmly.  Now he had a new idea.  "Can I, um, maybe have Xander back?  With his memories?"

"I am."

"You're not *my* Xander, Xan.  I want *my* Xander.  My Xander, who is also Lavelle, which is who you are."  Xander looked stunned.  "Aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I am," he admitted.  "Then why...."  He slowly shook his head.  "I don't understand."

"The chemicals did strange things and the stress of our daughter was a bit more.  You've only snapped a bit."  He went back to stroking his back. "So can I have Xan back now?"

"Yeah, but it'll have to be in the morning.  I think we need to have a conference in here."  He laid down again, getting comfortable.  "Thanks, Lupin."

"Not a problem, as long as I get him back."  He smiled as the young man zoned out again.  Now that they knew that the memories had been pushed into the places where he had constructed Sylvia and Lavelle, they could get them back.

***

Lupin woke up to a long-missed feeling, someone was licking his cock and making him wet and slippery enough for further fun.  He felt a finger playing with him and smiled before opening his eyes. "Xan," he moaned, clutching the dark hair.   She was in Melody form and he was loving this treatment.  "You didn't have to switch.  I wanted you back, the others didn't have to come back."

"I'm trying it out," he said between licks.  "I remember most of it now.   Now shh and let me play, Arsene."

"Yes, love, play all you want."  He moved some of her hair so he could watch her.  She was younger as well.  He arched up when she nipped him, hissing.  "No fair."

"You don't like?" she teased.

"No, I did," he admitted, letting her go back to whatever she wanted to do.  She finally let his rear passage go and got to her knees, showing that she wasn't quite Melody, she had a dick attached to her nubile young body.  "Oh, Xander!" he moaned, arching up into the warm mouth.  "More?"

Xander pulled off to look at him, smiling slightly.  "Of course you are.  You'll be giving me everything I need," he reported.  "We decided that Janus was correct, but that you're not going to be getting off for a *very* long time and there will be a massive condom between us."

"Let me play," he pleaded, pulling her up to attach himself to the warm body he had missed so much.  He did like women so much better.   He liked this form quite a lot, even though it was halfway inbetween.  Hopefully that trick with the building orgasms would work for this body too.  "Why not silver hair?"

"I hate my hair," she said with a shrug.

"I don't.  I like your silver hair. It's always soft," he murmured against her skin.  The body changed and he caught the hands.  "Take it off, Xan?  I want to have a female you later if you want to go that way.  I want the real you for right now."

"You want the real me?"  Lupin grinned and nodded.  "All of it?"

"Scars, silver hair, and wacky nature," he agreed earnestly.  "Even the confused parts. I want you to be whole and together."  He licked across the soft lips.  "Please?"  Xander released the choker and put it beside him on the bed, waiting while Lupin took his fill of his male form.  "Are you back?" he whispered as he moved down to taunt a nipple.  "All I want is you."

"I'm back," he gasped, arching up into the teasing mouth.  "Arsene!"

"Shh, babe.  Let me play."  He switched sides, moving across the wiggling body.  His fingers tweaked and rolled the nipple he had just prepared for his attentions, while his thigh was gently parting the paler thighs below him.  He left off the teasing of the nipples to move backwards as soon as Xander quit reacting so strongly, heading back to play with the wiggling stomach.  He had spent a great deal of time mapping out each and every sensitive spot on the boy's body and his stomach was one of the most sensitive he had ever seen.  He had a few spots that made him arch up and swear.  He had a few that would make him get hard, or harder, whenever bitten.  Those he headed for first, then the others, which made him chuckle as Xander reacted beautifully.  He licked a newly bitten spot and looked up at him.  "I am the maestro of your body, Xander.  I enjoy playing your instrument."  He moved backwards, playing with the harder instrument sitting there.  He started slowly and softly, working it gently with just his fingertips while he watched Xander respond.  His lover didn't disappoint, he begged and pleaded long before Lupin was ready for him to give up and come.  He smirked at his lover as he leaned down to lick across the head.  Xander whimpered for his pleasure and he decided he liked that.

He went farther down on him, making Xander grab the sheets in both hands and squeeze his eyes shut.  Lupin's chuckle carried through the delicate flesh and Xander came from that alone.  Lupin licked his lips as he pulled back, moving up to kiss him again.  He gently put the choker back on Xander, turning him back into Sylvia.  She was his age this time and he felt dirty for a moment, until he remembered that she wasn't really that young.  He spent some time kissing her, letting her come back down, then he went back to the series to start over again, only this time his tongue was used for much more pleasurable pursuits.  He liked licking girls more he decided.  Xander lay there spread out for his benefit and he enjoyed it all, sending her crashing through her first mini-orgasm.  She clenched around his tongue, begging and pleading for more attention, more of him in her, but he only added a few fingers and moved up slightly to play with her clit.  She squealed and pushed it into his mouth, writhing above him on the bed, chanting and pleading for more.  "Shh, you'll get it all," he promised.  "Not too loud though, or Ishi might come to save you."

"I'd kill him," she growled, flipping him over so his head was trapped under her body.  "Lick, now, more."  He chuckled and smiled as he went back to what he had been doing.  She whimpered and grabbed the headboard, then decided he should be tormented and that she wanted to suck on something, not just be his sex toy.  She turned, going down on him like she was starving.  He moaned into her, making her moan and work him harder.  Lupin's tongue stabbed into her and she pushed back, trying her best to make her lover come finally.  Anything just to finish herself off this time.  She started to reach a finger down but he sucked on it instead of letting it play with her, which robbed her of most of her stimulus.  She gave up and decided to roll off him, letting him have her however he wanted once his mouth latched on again.  She felt the tightening begin in her stomach and clutched his legs, panting into him as he brought her over the edge again, and a second time quickly thereafter.  She was in that nice place now, the one where nothing mattered but that big one at the end.  She'd do anything to get it.  She even climbed on top of him and broke herself in again to get it before he could stop her.  It was a bit of a pain, but she didn't care, it was filling her so much more!

Lupin gently thrust into her, trying to slow her desperate thrusts.  He played with her clit, bringing her over again so she's slow down again, then he got her underneath him, going back to what he liked to do best.  He liked doing this to her body.  She shivered and shook beneath him like a junkie for his touch.  Her nipples were ripe for his teasing lips, her stomach was perfectly flat.  Her lower half was wet and pulsing around him.  He had to control himself from going over too soon.  He wanted to finish breaking all those memories free from her and that would take a lot of effort since he didn't have Jigen to help him this time.  She squealed and clutched at him as he withdrew, going back to licking her for now.  He could hold off his own pleasure until she was brainless, then send her crashing into the last orgasm, then switch her back.  She had one last one with a full-body shiver and a loud scream of pleasure, so he unhooked her and moved behind her.

He had been stretching her while he had finished her off orally, and now he slid into the easy hole, making his Xander toy moan and push back against him as he filled the cavity to the best of his abilities.  He did wish he had a cockring, another one might be possible if he could have found one for Xander to put on, but he'd do with what he had.  His lover was limp in his arms and nearly purring now.  He finished his baby off with slow, gentle, long strokes into his tired body, making him have one last, spunkless, come while Lupin flooded all of his into him.  Xander passed out underneath him. Lupin laid there and stroked his stomach gently, curled up against his back until his little one could wake up and hopefully be all right. Someone knocked on the door so he grabbed his robe and strolled over there, letting the weariness slow him down only a bit.  He found hotel security on the other side.  "He's over age."

"Are you sure?"

Lupin got Xander's wallet, pulling out his ID for them.  "See?  Consensual sex.  He's passed out."

"A guy made that much noise?" the guard asked in awe.  Lupin smirked and lounged against the door to hold himself upright.  He was really tired now.  "Fine.  Try to keep it down please.  There's kids on this floor."

"I tried my best to keep him quiet.  We'll try to be more discreet in the future.  Thanks though.  It's nice that you guys don't hesitate to barge in."

"We almost did, but then we found out who had rented the room," he said, giving Lupin a long look.  "We didn't want shot."

Lupin smirked.  "Good idea.  Xander has in the past."  He took the ID back and gently closed the door, going back to nap off his own exhaustion.  Doing that to Xander gave him the most urgent need for a nap.  He stopped to clean himself up and grab a warm washcloth, getting Xander clean so they could nap together.

***

Lupin woke up to someone kissing him.  He smiled and opened his eyes, finding Xander leaning above him.  "Morning."  He pulled him down to kiss him again.  "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine.  I could use a soak, but we need to get back down there.  There were things I wanted that I didn't get."

Lupin smirked at him.  "Fully back?"  Xander nodded.  "So it worked?"

"Quite a lot."  He kissed him gently then pulled back and sat up with a wince.  "Damn, my butt is not used to this anymore."

"It will become used to it again," Lupin promised.  "But if you want, you can have a long, hot bath."

"Maybe later.  I had to shove Arsene out of the room already.  She's convinced that we're missing all the early morning stuff."

"We are."  Lupin sat up and kissed him again.  "Are you all right?"

"Definitely," Xander agreed with a lascivious grin.  "What should I go as today?"

"Something I can tease you as, Xan.  I want to tease you."

"You keep sending me these looks that do that."

Lupin gave him a long kiss.  "Put on some clothes that I can make you regret putting on.  I want to tease you downstairs so everyone knows you're back to normal."

"Hmm.  No mice?"

"No, nothing that massive.  Though I did bring one of them.  Put on some leather pants for me?  Let the kids do the costumes this time?  There's another one next month and we'll go in costume if you want."

"Hmm.  Won't we be doing something?"

"Nope.  Arsene's class is nearly finished. You're back to yourself.  Why would we need to stay up there?"

"Because I doubt Sarah will let go of her bestest buddy's tail anytime soon?"

"So they'll visit.  It'll help her a lot."  He kissed him again.  "Tight t-shirt and leather pants, Xander."

"Yes, Lupin," he moaned.

"That's the sounds I like to hear," he teased, giving him a little nudge.  "Finish cleaning up."

"I need my choker."

"Hmm.  Wanna go as a schoolgirl?"

"That would confuse some people," Xander pointed out gently, taking the choker and going into the bathroom to take a full bath.  His lower half needed it, it was a bit sore.   He came out and worked his way into the skin-tight leather pants Lupin had laid out for him and the dress shirt.  "Decided against the t-shirt?"

"I figured you might want to have something that would cover the bulge now and then," Lupin said as he put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt of his own.  He got to relax at these too.  No dress clothes, not even a jacket or tie in sight.  He slid into his sneakers and followed Xander down to pick up the kids.  Ishi was chastising Arsene over her rudeness yet again.  "She'll never learn," he pointed out.  "Her rude little nature will keep her from being a great thief because none of her marks will ever want to be around her."  He steered Ishi out of the room by his arm, and the boy stopped to stare at his uncle.  "Yes, I dressed him," he sighed.

"He looks damn hot," Ishi muttered.  "I'll never get that girls' attention with him there."

"Kid, we'd only try to scare her, and this way she'd know that 'hot' ran in the family," Xander promised.  Ishi grinned at him and Xander beamed back.  "Whaddya know, Janus helped unravel most of them.  As far as I know I have all of them back."

"With as noisy as you two were, I'm not surprised," Arsene said.

Her father pushed her back into the room and closed the door in her face.  "When you've figured out how to be more like your sister and polite, you can come down to brunch.  Until then, you're grounded."  He walked his two guys downstairs, letting Ishi go before they got there so he wouldn't be embarrassed.  They came off the elevator and into a large, furry back.  "Teddy, you made it," he said happily, giving the guy a hug.  "Xander's fully back now."

"Wow."  He waved at Xander.  "You're sure?"

"Sure I'm sure," Xander agreed.  "You were the one I couldn't forget anyway."  He smirked at him.  "You know I wanna brush you someday."

Teddy snickered, shaking his head.  "Sorry, Xan, only if you do it however you do and become a girl.  I only like girls.  Though, in that outfit, you do look tasty."

"I'm teasing my man," he stage-whispered.  "Think it'll work."

"I do," he said in appreciation.  "Where's the other one?"

"In our room," Ishi offered.  "She was being rude again.  Tried to interrupt them and everything."  They got out of the way of the elevator and looked around.  "Are we lined up for the brunch?"

"No, some kids decided to have a mock-saber fight in the middle of the lobby.  We're watching them hack at each other."

Ishi rolled his eyes. "My age or my uncle's?"

"Yours, kid."

"I'm staying out of it until I go a few rounds with your dad, just to make sure I didn't lose those memories totally," Xander assured him.  "A sword feels like it'd feel odd to me."  Someone nudged him and handed him a sword, so he tested it.  "It's off balance, and it's heavier than I remember."

"That's because you had built up your muscles before, Xander. You'll have to work over those again," Lupin promised.  "That stuff that changed you took some of the muscles you had built up along with the calluses.  If you want, I'm not gonna let you in the field until you've gone through everything with Goemon again."

"I've been working out with him," he admitted.  He tried a simple swing and something was still off.  He felt confined.  He checked his neck, then found an extra necklace, which came off.  The one covering the marks was put back on and the other one came off.  His silver hair came out and he suddenly felt like he was free.  He tried another swing and it was much like it always had been, only still a bit heavy.  "That was keeping me from doing anything," he said, moving forward with Ishi.  They watched the kids and Xander shook his head 'tsk'ing quietly.  "Bad form for the one in the black."

"The red one isn't going to collapse, is he?" Ishi asked.

"Possibly," Xander agreed, leaning on his shoulder. "Hey, um, guys, do you want a quick sword lesson? It's much the same."  They stopped to gape at him and he wiggled his fingers.  "Hey."

"Shit, you're Lavelle," one of the boys said.  "Someone said they'd did something funny to your age."

Xander nodded.  "They were trying to take my memories and it did it."  He looked at Ishi.  "My scars aren't out, right?"

"Only the one on your cheek.  You've always seemed to have that from my memories."  Xander traced it.  "Yeah, that one."

"Yeah, it won't hide."  He looked at the kids again.  "Let me introduce my protégé and partial student, Geomon Ishikawa the Fourteenth."  Ishi bowed shortly.  "He'd like to spar with one of you, but we've got to correct a few things.  You," he said, pointing at the boy in red, "lean into your blows way too much.  Your body is an extension of the sword, but it's also the anchor holding it from going too far.  You lean and you overswing.  You," he said, pointing at the boy in black, "keep tripping over your feet when you retreat.  Want help?"

"Show us," the one in red offered.  Xander traded weapons with him so he wasn't using live steel against Ishi, and Ishi faced off against him.  "Episode Two?"

"Only if I get to be Yoda," Ishi said with a grin.  "You can improvise."  He rushed and Xander blocked, striking back.  The crowd gaped as they went at it, jockeying back and forth for position.  In the end, 'Yoda' fell to a surprise blow to his knees and had to scramble out of the way while Xander smirked at him and blocked his killing blow to get him in a headlock and give him a noogie.  "I give!" he shouted, struggling to get away.  "You've got pointy knuckles!"

"Thanks," Xander said, letting him go.  He bowed to the crowd and tossed the fake sabers back to the kids, who looked stunned.  "Lessons, guys, it's easy enough.  I learned in about two years."

"Yeah, and most of it off your anime videos," Ishi snorted.  He pulled the kid in red closer.  "Okay, do this," he said, swinging his saber before handing it over, then correcting the kid's stance.

Xander looked at the other one.  "Most of that is probably your age. You're supposed to be uncoordinated at your age," he said quietly.  "Take up fencing or a version of martial arts and it'll get you past that."  The kid looked at him oddly.  "Seriously.  I did.  It helped me tons and I was fighting nearly every day by that time."

"Yeah, and tripping, and falling, and being the bait," Jonas said dryly.  "You two were excellent."

"That's because his father trained me and we're both training him," Xander said wisely, smirking at him.  "How is Ripper?"

"Tired of England.  Said there's no one good enough to eat over there anymore.  Ethan sent him to play in the US."  He shrugged.  "Ethan did send a 'hello' and a hug if you wanted one from him.  He's a bit....busy at the moment with his educating of Rupert."

"Wow," the boy said, blinking at him.  "You're a Watcher?"

Jonas smiled and nodded.  "I am.  I'm over some of the training actually.  Did you want to talk about that?"  The boy gave him an adoring look.  "Now, remember, you've got to learn how to fight anyway and Lavelle is one of the best people to tell you how to do that."

"Fencing with Judo," Xander told him.  "That's about how I started, Judo."

"Are you a Watcher?" the other boy asked.

Xander shook his head, holding out his hand.  "Xander Harris, formerly from Sunnydale."  The boy gave him a worshipful look.  "Like I said, find one that suits you and learn the hell out of it.  Most vampires only like to brawl and it'll help your concentration and balance.  Then get Jonas to sign you up for training."

"Yes, sir, thank you, sir.  Scotty, Jonas is a Watcher!" he said happily.

"Oh, fuck me!" he said excitedly, coming over to talk to him, pulling him away.  Some of the others followed to chat with him.

Xander chuckled.  "It's a lot of laundry with nasty substances," he told one frowning person.  "It really is."  He walked back to Lupin's side, smirking at him.  "Hey.  Didn't you promise me food for breaking me free this morning?"

"I did," Lupin agreed, walking him over to the buffet table.  "I see Ishi's already picked up an admirer."

"He's a cute little boy. The girls like that."

"He's also sensitive, honest, straight, and strong, they like that even more," Teddy pointed out as he joined them.  "I suppose you're fully back to normal?"

"It's amazing, Lupin made my whole brain shudder and most of it broke loose," he said with a smug grin.  "How's the daughter?"

"Not good.  I can't find her.  I can't find her mother either.  I was kinda hoping I could ask you to ask around, Xan."

"Not a problem," he promised.  "Let me grab some food and we'll go talk.  Let's see what Uncle Lavelle can help you with," he said with a small grin.  "Lupin, babe?"

"Of course I'll help," he snorted.  "People like that annoy the hell out of me."  He felt someone hug him and looked down.  "Arsene, didn't I ground you?"

"I'm sorry, father," she said, giving him a big, wet eyed look.  "I didn't mean to be that mean or naughty with you guys, and I'm sorry for my rudeness.  I didn't want to hurt you guys."  She switched her hug to her other father.  "Please, may I help?"

"Sure, kid, three thieves are even better than two," Teddy promised, giving her a smile.  "Remember, you can only be rude in your own home, and only when it doesn't annoy others.  Otherwise they leave you and do other things."

"Yes, Uncle Teddy."  She hugged him too.  "Let's eat and figure it out.  I've got my laptop in my backpack."  She pointed back at her teddybear backpack.  It was the one she always carried on any jobs she pulled.  "Do you think we'll have to rescue her?"

"Possibly," Xander admitted, finishing his plate up.  They found a table in a corner, one that didn't have a good view so it had been left empty, and sat down to help the poor guy.  No one should have their kid stolen by their former lover.  It was so very wrong.

***

Ishi knocked on the door of the apartment, grinning at her.  "I'm here to do a welfare check for your father," he told the young woman.  "He sent me and Lavelle after you."

"Lavelle?"

"Xander."

"Uncle Xander is here?" she asked pitifully.  "Really?"  Ishi nodded and pointed outside.  She looked and squealed.  "Oh, it is Uncle Xander!"  She hugged him, kissing him on the cheek.  "You're so great.  I'm feeling like the princess trapped in the tower."

"Well, come along, Rapunzel, we'll let you down your hair and to the Judge's courtroom.  Your parents are in front of him again over your mother taking you."

"But she had custody."

"Yes, but it wasn't for six weeks straight and she wasn't to bring you out of the city," Ishi reminded her. "Your father was nearly in tears last night when he came to Lavelle for help."  He waited while she packed her clothes and then walked her out to the sportscar, looking around as they got inside.  Then they sped off.  It was only a few hours back, but they needed to hurry and Xander could probably cut that down by half.  Ishi handed over his cellphone.  "Press '4' until it dials," he advised.  "It goes right to Lupin's phone."

She did so and put the phone against her ear.  Xander closed the windows and she gave him a light smile.  "Daddy, Uncle Xander is really young."

***

Teddy laughed and relaxed.  "Yes, he is, but I trust those two.  Remember to put on your seatbelt, young lady.  I love you and we'll be waiting on you.  Sure.  You can have pizza tonight and those two can tell you all about the convention.  Love you too, see you soon."  He hung up and handed the phone back to Arsene.  "Thanks, dear."

"Welcome," she said calmly, looking at the confused judge.  "I do believe that your orders were to not take the girl out of the city and to hand her back and forth.  We've had to enforce those recently," she said coolly.

The judge gaped at her.  "Who are you, young lady?"

"Arsene Lupin the Fourth.  My cohort, Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth just freed her from the apartment her mother had stuffed her in all the way in Germany.  We have an uncle driving her back at the moment.  She's been gone now for six weeks."

The judge looked at Teddy.  "You called in a thief?"

"Who better to steal something so precious as my daughter?" he asked simply.  "I trust Lavelle with my life.  He'd never hurt my daughter and the Goemons are known for being honorable to the point of breaking under it.  She's fine....now."  He glared at his soon-to-be ex.  "My daughter requested to come live with me.  Not with you," he reminded her.

"You're warping her!" she shouted back.  "You're turning her into something like that thing!  You know thieves?"  He nodded.  "Stealing now?"

He shook his head.  "No.  Lavelle is a convention buddy," he said quietly.  "He's always been very nice to me.  I didn't even have to pay him, all I had to do was ask.  He's this one's father and stepfather to the others.  He's a parent, he understands."

"The last time one of us was taken by anyone, daddy went off," Arsene assured her.  "Daddy Xander nearly destroyed a whole crime family to get me back.  He's a parent who protects other's kids.  Going against other bad guys is one thing, going against innocents is another and my family has never been about that.  Don't believe me, I can call the ICPO if you want."

"No," she sneered.  "Who'd believe you?"

She looked at the bailiff.  "Would you please do a warrant's hunt for me?" she asked politely, smiling at him.  "I believe it's time I pulled up some credentials other than my birthright."

The bailiff looked confused but called down to the warrant's office and then looked at her in alarm as they pulled up a few of them.  He looked at the judge.  "She's wanted on six counts of robbery, one of them at a convention last year."  Teddy smacked her across the back of the head.

"Ow!  I didn't hurt anyone, they only fell asleep.  The jewels were too pretty to resist and they weren't fandom related in the least."

"Still," he said, frowning at her.  "You should know better, Arsene."

"Yes, sir," she sighed, slumping down again.  She gave the judge a smirk just like her father's.  "Sorry, it does run in the family.  We chose to support him as fellow parents and children who've had the other taken away from us at times.  One kidnaped child will understand another one.  Only a parent would understand the pain of losing a child to kidnaping.  Fortunately, he knew who took his.  My twin's going to fix the other sort for a living.  See, it's all about choices.  We chose to help Teddy with his problems.  His ex chose to take their daughter to Germany and keep her locked in an apartment there while trying to brainwash her. In this case, her choices made her the bad guy for at least two people and that deserved our attention."

The judge scowled.  "Still, people like you should be stopped."

She cackled.  "Many, many people have tried," she said condescendingly.  "I'm sure at least one of them will be showing up soon.  He goes to the cons to track Daddy Xander too."

"Inspector Kowalski is a member of my close personal friends," Teddy agreed, "and if he hadn't had to leave for Turkey suddenly I might have gone to him with this problem.  That way it would have been settled within the law.  Desperate times call for desperate measures however and Lavelle was there.  My daughter is more than precious enough a treasure to warrant their attention.  My only concern is that my daughter may pick up that whole bad- boy phase when she's with them and hit on Ishi."

"Ishi wouldn't know what to do with a flirting girl anyway," Arsene assured him.  "His dad's the same way.  His ex always had to make all the moves, unless she found out she was stuffed up.  Then you'd better believe she got the full force of all his attention and we could only wonder why she couldn't walk, sit, or lean."

"Young lady!" the judge said, looking and sounding shocked.

She shrugged. "Sorry, but we all lived together.  All I know is that they made a lot of noise and she couldn't move very well after he got done celebrating."  She shrugged.  "Who knows what else went on?  My parents keep taking away the porn channels each time I try to get them."  She smirked at him.  "My parents try so *hard* to control me and this is good behavior."

The judge scowled at her.  "Perhaps some old-fashioned correction is needed."

"The last time anyone paddled my butt, I had just tried to stop a car by jumping on the hood of it.  That was Uncle Goemon though.  I'm hard to teach some things."

"She's also presently grounded, which is why she's here instead of helping take my daughter back," Teddy said, rolling his eyes.  "It seems her nature has upset her fathers again."

"She's exactly like her father," the bailiff noted.  "Just like that biography said he was like.  His former nanny wrote one; I did a paper on it in school.  He was looking up skirts at nine."

"I'm nine and I don't really like women.  But then again, I don't really see the appeal of boys yet either."  She grinned at him. "I think humans are fascinating creatures and the mating instinct is less studied than any other part of their behavior.  So I like to watch."

Teddy blushed.  "Arsene, I have duct tape in the car," he warned.

"Sorry, Uncle Teddy."

"Thank you," the judge said.  He looked at Teddy.  "There are how many parents?"

"Four," he said after quickly counting them up in his head.  "And one absent ex-wife.  She's the mother to the Goemon clan's children."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Fujiko Mine I do know.  You are quite a lot like her, young lady."

"Take that back!" she shouted, jumping up.  "I'm nothing like that psychotic whore!"

The judge blinked.  "Excuse me?"

"I'm not!" she insisted.  "I can treat people better, she only saw them as marks.  I like some people quite a lot!  For that matter, I'm not going to screw over my crew for something pretty!  I was trained better than that, thank you.  I'm not a whore, nor am I delusional, nor am I one who will intentionally hurt my future lovers for shits and giggles.  Nor am I one who will ignore my future children screaming for attention the way she did.  Take it back!"

"Fine, I'm sorry, I meant your language skills," he said mildly.  "I'm sorry to have insulted you, Arsene."

"Thank you," she said stiffly as she sat down again, glaring at him.  "I hope she fucking well dies soon if it matters.  That would free Uncle G to find a *real* woman to date, one which would be a real mother to the horde that Daddy isn't."

"You could always turn her in," the judge suggested.

Arsene smirked. "She's six weeks postpartum, still bleeding, still kinda chunky in places, and she's still slower than us.  I'm sure she'll get caught without having any thieves to back her up.  I know my family won't."  He nodded, looking at the parents.  She pulled out her phone and dialed her father's.  "Daddy.  Are they doing okay?"  She listened to the update and smiled.  "Thanks.  No, the judge just told me I was exactly like the demented bitch."  She grimaced.  "I do not!"  She rolled her eyes with a snort.  "Thank you, father.  No, we'll be here."  She hung up.  "They've just crossed the border and they're speeding this way.  The border guards nearly questioned them but the girl told them they were her rescuers so they were let across and you should be getting a call soon from one of the ICPO's people," she told the bailiff.  She looked behind her as the door opened. "Hey, Uncle Ray.  We're rescuing Uncle Teddy's little girl from the evil bitch queen over there."

He looked down at her. "I heard."  He looked at the judge, then at Teddy.  "I would have come back, man."

"Ray, your job's more important and this is keeping them from pulling anything today," Teddy said with a shrug.  "I wasn't going to pull you away from that."

"It's not a problem, man.  Anytime, and I mean that."  He looked down at Arsene.  "You do realize that I can arrest you?"

"And do what?  Send me to Juvie, where I'll gather a new gang, teach them better tricks, and find out what use girls are good for?" she snorted, smirking at him.  "Do you think you'd keep me?  All my fathers have taught me how to get away."  She sat up a little straighter at his frown.  "Oh, tell Auntie Dawn that the scar-tissue cure worked on Daddy's memories.  We think he's got them all back now."

"Good.  I'll tell her," he agreed, grabbing her.  "We'll be right back."

"No, please, have her," the judge assured him, waving him away.  "Let the father have her cellphone in case something happens."

Arsene pulled it out and tossed it to him.  "Here.  I'll want it back, give it to daddy or mail it to the 'found' addy on the back," she said with a grin as she was dragged away.  She waited until they were outside to kick him on the shin and then slug him good, knocking him down.  "Don't grab me that way!  I don't like boys and you're an icky boy on top of that because you're a cop!"

"Arsene Lupin the Fourth," Zenigata growled.  "How pleasant to meet you in the light."

She looked up at him, tapping her foot.  "We have met in the past, Uncle Zenny.  Really."

"Yes, but you didn't have any warrants then, dear."  He grabbed her.  "And with you, your father will come."

She kissed him on the tip of his nose. "It won't be *my* father, Great-Gramps, it'll be Daddy Lavelle who'll come for me.  He may take a few hours, but he'll be the one coming for me. If Daddy Jigen and Uncle G don't," she said pointedly, staring over his shoulder.  He looked and she got him in the groin, sliding away when he dropped her.  She punched Ray again, pressing a small tube to his skin and breaking it.  Then she skipped off happily as if nothing had happened.  "Remember, I'm only like this for business.  The rest is a pleasure," she said with a little bow.  Then she headed outside.  She could trust Teddy to get her phone back to her.  A cab was quickly gotten and she instructed him to take her to a mall, where she could get another one and go to a bus stop, and then take a bus to their hotel. "Daddy, I'm home," she called as she walked in.

"I left you with Teddy to protect him, Arsene, not to get into trouble, or to nearly get arrested because you were showing off," he growled.

"Gee, dad, I don't think the judge would have listened to me otherwise."

"That's not the point! You risked yourself horribly!"

"Dad, chill, or I'm going to go back to the mall and hit a jewelry store and come back in an hour or so after the prozac has worked."  She scowled back at him when he glared.  "It was necessary to help him!  He wasn't listening to a little girl and we both know that."

"That's because he's not supposed to listen to little girls, Arsene.  You took a lot of risks and they were all stupid.  The adults had it."

"Of course you did, but the judge was yelling at Uncle Teddy for calling on you guys for help."

"He's a judge, he's supposed to do that!"

"He was going to take custody away from him, I could see it in his face, father.  Now shut up!"  He flinched, stepping back. "I did what I had to do to protect her and him keeping her.   The fact that I got Great-Gramps in the groin and knocked Ray out using one of the vials isn't a factor in that.  I got away."

"Great-Gramps?" he asked dryly, breaking his bad mood.

"Well, if he's your Pops and he's Daddy Xander's Gramps, then wouldn't he be my Great- Gramps?"

"No, Gramps should be fine," he assured her, rolling his eyes.  "You still took a lot of risks."

"Yay!  It got the job done in the most efficient manner.  Uncle Teddy will keep his little girl.  Uncle Xan and Ishi are coming back with her right now.  Gramps and Uncle Ray are out of the picture for now.  I came here in a way that not even Uncle Ray's former running buddy from Chicago could easily track me.  I may not want to test my theories about being able to get out of a juvenile facility, but I'm pretty sure I can if necessary.  It may take me a few weeks, but I'm sure I can do it."

"You're nine, I don't want you to have to worry about such things yet," he reminded her.  "No more stealing until you're sixteen.  Otherwise I'm going to start drugging you again."

"Fine, daddy, no more stealing until I'm sixteen.  By then most of the warrants will have expired."  She rolled her eyes as she sat down.  "Have you figured out where I'm going to school yet?"

"You're all going to the same one.  We've got literature back at the house.  The others are on their way back down since all of your class but one passed their final exam with me and he'll be able to retake it.  It was the excitement so he'll be taking it with the kitsune teacher who's just stolen something to make his reputation."

"Cool.  I learned a lot teaching them.  Their books had a lot of things I hadn't thought of yet."

"Which is why you're still learning," her father reminded her.  "Which is why I don't want you risking yourself until you're sixteen.  I also don't want you in the position to have to kill until at least then.  I won't have you turn into Dawn, where it's all a big game to you."

"I know it's not a game, dad.  I've never considered it a game, or at least not since I regained sense as a five-year-old.  I promise I won't steal until I'm sixteen.  But that doesn't mean I won't tell some of your guys to get me things," she said quickly at his look.  "Or do the occasional shoplifting to keep in practice."

"That's fine," he agreed gently, giving her a hug.  "Now, help me finish packing and we'll leave here.  We're heading back to the hideout in Greece."

"Cool!  Are you guys gonna rent a boat?"

He gave her a long look.  "Even if we do, it's going to be adults only part of the time.  You and the other kids will stay with Bix or Marcus."

"Yes, dad," she sighed, rolling her eyes again.  "Can I get scuba lessons?"

"Sure.  It'd be my pleasure to teach you," he beamed.

"You're the bestest father," she grinned back.  "You teach me all sorts of stuff."  She gave him a hug and helped him pack up the room, sending for a bellhop.  "Why did you blush when I mentioned a boat, dad?"

He blushed again.  "Something that happened in the other timeline," he noted.  "A big changing point for us."

"Oh."  She nodded.  "Got some on there?"  He frowned at her.  "Never mind, I don't need to know.  Even though seeing loving parents makes me want to love more."

"Not until you're at least sixteen," he growled.

"Fine," she agreed quickly, dropping it.  She wouldn't get away with that.  Her fathers would kill her if she tried before then, and Ishi would scowl at her again.  "Hey, dad, are you hoping one of us hooks up with Ishi?"

"Daughter, the thought of you and Ishi hooking up and having kids was enough to make your father Jigen drink so much he passed out," he assured her.  "Not to mention me, Marcus, and Xander doing the same.  Only Bix thought you'd be cute together.  She also said that she'd be married before the child came, or that she'd pick the first man and make him marry her."

She looked up and shook her head. "Do you see what I put up with, Janus?"

"Keep it up, I'll send you to a Catholic school," he said happily, smiling at her.  "Nuns and all."

"Yeah, 'cause I'm sure I can be kicked out within a day."

"Not from some of them," he assured her.  He walked out with the rest of their things, following their bags down to the lobby to check out.  He turned in their keys and then went to the car he had rented.  Valets were so nice, they had even put a few bugs into it for him.  He quickly tossed them off a bridge on the way out of town, wishing the cops good luck finding them.

***

Xander handed Teddy his daughter with a grin.  "She was very good.  She didn't flirt, didn't ask a lot of questions about Ishi's training, and she was more than happy to simply talk costumes."  He nodded at the judge.  "Sir."  He turned and skipped back down the stairs.  Ishi had turned in the car for them and had gotten them a new one with the fake IDs he had made for him. The kid had even shifted over so he could drive.  "Okay, let's head out of town taking the second bridge over the river," he ordered.  Ishi pulled away carefully.  "You can go a bit faster, Ishi man."

"Fine," he agreed, speeding up to match the frantic pace of Parisian traffic.  He was doing really well.  "Those driving lessons Uncle Jigen gave me in Rome really helped out."

"Rome is the ultimate city of insane drivers," Xander agreed.  "Next he'll be taking Marcus down there."  They shared a laugh.  "Okay, bridge," he pointed.  The kid cut off two cars but he made the exit and put them onto the other bank of the city, heading out of town.  The airport was that way and it would be easiest to catch a small plane out from there.  Xander groaned, noticing the lights.  "Ishi, cops."

"Should I punch it or stop?"

"Stop.  We don't need a chase today."  Ishi carefully pulled over and turned off the car.

The officer walked up beside them, frowning at them.  "How old are you?"

"Eighteen," he said with a credible California accent, pulling out his wallet and registration.  "I'm sorry, was I going fast?"  He handed the ID over.

The cop looked at it, then at him.  "This is an American one."

"We're on holiday after graduating school, before college," Xander said, leaning closer so he could be seen.  "We weren't aware we needed an international one. We're on our way out of town actually.  We're going to Russia next.  Will we need one there?"

The cop handed it back.  "Probably, but I can let you go with a warning this time," he said.  "Keep it under the speed limits, kids.  Also, learn what a turn signal is.  You're a bit dangerous."

"Sorry, sir.  I'm much more careful at home with my old clunker, but this rental car is *tons* faster," Ishi explained, looking a bit pitiful.  "Thank you, sir.  I've really enjoyed my stay in Paris."  He grinned as he stuffed his license away.  "Can I go?  We'll miss our flight."

"Go," he said grudgingly.  The kid started the car and took off again, letting him watch as he carefully merged into traffic, using his lights this time, and sped off again.  He shook his head, going back to the car.  He picked up the radio.  "Dispatch, how old is Goemon the fourteenth again?  I just caught him driving.  He's heading for the airport."  He didn't want to deal with those two unless he had full body armor, and hopefully a suit of real armor over it.

"He's eleven," Dawn's voice reported.  "He's driving?  Stupid asshole Jigen."

"Yes, ma'am," he said respectfully.  "And the silver haired one was with him.  He's doing really well, just forgot his blinkers."  He got into the car.  "Should I chase?"

"No, I'm routing our special team to the airport to catch them," she reported.  "Good job."  The radio went dead.

In the office, Dawn put her feet up on the desk and called her husband.  "Hey, me.  Ishi was just driving Lavelle to the airport."  She smirked at the confused sounding grunt.  "Yup, Ishi.  So the asshole taught him how to drive already."  She smirked at his rant.  "Airport, dear.  Go to the airport.  I'm sure the Lupins are leaving too."  She hung up and looked down at her ankles.  "Why are you swollen?  I haven't eaten that many peanuts today."

***

Ishi looked out the window of the plane as it taxied out to the runway.  "Hey, look, there's a cop chasing that other plane," he said, letting his uncle look.

Xander glanced out there and grinned.  "I knew that person was odd."  He leaned back, getting comfortable.  "I knew it was a good expenditure of energy to help him get home to his family."

"You're insane," Ishi said conversationally.  "That must be why your man likes you so much." Xander smirked at him.  "Okay, both of them, but I still say the other likes you because you're so damn good."

"Hmm.  I'm not ruling it out," he said in a sated, calm voice.  That light nerve pill the dealer at the airport had let him have had been very good for his nerves.  "I'm sure he'll be having fun with me tonight, once we meet up again."  He smiled at the stewardess, who was doing one last check of the seats.  "How long before we take off?"

"Maybe another four minutes.  The plane ahead of us was stopped by the police," she offered.  She checked Ishi's seat then moved on to buckle herself in. "The man in first class who looks too young to be legal has a pill in his system," she told the fellow stewardesses.  "He's much too calm."

"Then he won't give us any problems," the other said with a smile and a wink.  He was so adorable!  White hair at his age made him seem so exotic.  Plus, they were both so polite, much nicer than the usual fliers who only saw them as high-altitude waitresses.  Maybe they'd have to make sure both boys were thoroughly broken in by the time they landed in Greece.

***

Lupin watched his daughter hunting for something, frowning at the words she was crooning.  He shook his head a few times and looked at Jigen and Goemon, both of whom looked stunned.  So it wasn't just him having hallucinations.  That was a good thing to know.

"Here, Lupin the Fifth," she called softly.  "Come on, little one.  Come to mommy.  Mommy wants to cuddle you so much and we'll be going to see Auntie Savannah.  You know she always has some milk for you."

"Um, daughter?" Lupin asked carefully, wondering if she had snapped.  He looked at Goemon.  "She's too young to have kids, right?  We'd have noticed that?"  Goemon nodded quickly.  "Thanks."  He looked at his daughter again, noticing she had picked something up.  "Daughter?  Lupin the *Fifth*?"

She grinned at him.  "It's not like that, dad."  She walked over to let him see the thing in her hands.  "This is my baby.  I'd never have real kids, they're all insane," she snorted.  "Come on, you precious little thief.  Let's get back to the house.  Yes, we will, and Auntie Savannah will pour you such a good treat and give you such lovies," she cooed, stuffing the baby ferret in her pocket.  "Aren't we ready yet?"

"Nearly," Jigen said, coughing a few times.  "Arsene.  No furry things."

"It's hard to travel with pets," Arsene agreed, sticking up for their sanity.  His daughter with a ferret?  Should they start calling her a beastmaster now and buy her a leather loincloth?  No, if they did that, she'd wear it.  "You have to plan ahead and our life isn't really full of that opportunity."

"Only if someone finds him," she pointed out.  She smirked at him.  "Leave me alone, dad, or I will have kids some day."

He quickly gave her a gentle hug and left it at that.  That was a thought worse than sleeping with Zenigata.  He looked at the other adults, who all nodded quickly to show that they agreed with him and his decision.

Fortunately Ishi and Xander came off the plane, Ishi bright red and Xander smirking lazily at them.  "Can we go?" Ishi whispered to his uncle.  "Please, now?  Before the stews try to have me in the bathroom again?"

Lupin led the group out of the airport, and since she was in the lead, she got to sit wherever she wanted in the car.  She looked at Ishi, who was curled up against his father's side.  "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, just escaping the stewardess who thought I was so cute and polite, so she wanted to break me in."  His father scowled.  "I explained that I was taken and under a vow to my woman and that I couldn't dream of it.  She kissed me on the cheek and said men like me were rare so my girl was lucky."

"Thanks, Ishi, I feel the same way," Arsene assured him happily.

He glared at her.  "I'm not yours, Lupin.  Get over it already."

"Enough," Xander said patiently.  He looked at Jigen, who had his usual shotgun seat.  "The stewardesses were very nice about it, and took a gentle 'no' quite happily.   They were very impressed with Ishi's self control since she had her breasts in his face."

Jigen looked back at Ishi.  "Don't worry, we've got liquor back at the house."  Goemon kicked his seat, making him grin at him.  "He's at the age to wonder."

"I am, but I don't want it to be in an airplane bathroom," Ishi complained.  "A nice hotel possibly, but not in an airplane."

"Go, Lupin," Xander said quietly.

"Did you?"

"No," Xander snorted.  "Wanna taste me and check?"

"No, I trust you," Lupin offered, starting the car.  "Daughter, show him our grandchild."

She pulled out her baby as the roof went up, since it was starting to rain, and let her dad see it.  Xander squealed as he petted the little thing.  "Lupin the Fifth, this is the Daddy Xander.  He'll love you whole lots, just like I do.  Daddy, this is the only grandchild you'd better be expecting from my butt."

"They don't come out of your butt," Ishi said patiently.

"I know that, thank you.  I did watch that same special you did, Ishi."  Her baby was taken from her hand by Jigen, who looked at the beast up close.  "May I please have my baby back, Uncle Jigen?"

"Only if you suddenly turn into a good little girl.  Only they get pets," he pointed out, letting Xander put the ferret into his pocket.  "If you suddenly turn good then we'll give it back."

"Hey, I can always have a real one in another four years," she pointed out dryly.

"And we'd support you and offer all sorts of advice while *you* raised it," Xander said happily, patting her on the back.  "He won't be hurt in my pocket."

"Fine," she pouted.  "He's my baby!  It's not like I play with dolls, or the other girls."

"If I should catch you trying to feel up Lotus, I'll kill you," Goemon reminded her.

"Eww.  I'm not gay!  I like boys quite a lot, I simply can't find a current use for them.  Give me back my son or else, father."

"Only if you suddenly learn manners," Jigen reminded her.

She growled and started to pull a weapon but Ishi stopped her before it got out of the holster.  "Mine!"

"I think she's just snapped.  Let her have the ferret back," Ishi said impatiently.  "Before I have to throw her out of the car for pulling a weapon."

"Pat her down first," Goemon suggested.

"She can't shoot us, kiddo, we haven't gotten a trust fund set up for her yet and her birth certificates are locked in the safe, plus they'd ask her mother and her mother probably doesn't remember having her."  He looked in the mirror at his daughter.  "Which means that you'd be living with whoever was left, which might be Fujiko with how good of a shot you're not."  He looked at the road again, avoiding a cart with hay as he sped past it and the donkey pulling it.  He tooted the horn happily.  "Guys, convent school?"

"I'd have to corrupt all the nuns," Arsene said dryly, smirking at him.  "My child?"  Xander handed him back.  "Thank you."  She stroked the soft fur, nuzzling the soft baby gently.  "You are so adorable.  Yes, the mommy will definitely kill for you.  Yes she will," she cooed.  "You're more than worth it to the mommy since you're the only kid I'll ever have, unless I want to drive my parents insane."

Xander laughed. "I'm sure it wouldn't do that.  After all, we survived you, dear."

"Yes, but I'd be teaching my child," she reminded him smugly.  "Each and every little thing I've ever wanted to do and didn't would come out without parents there to monitor his or her behavior."

Lupin pulled over and looked back at her. "If you tried that, we would take the child from you," he said, staring her down.  "And then we'd make sure that you spent the rest of your life in a little white padded room in a very pretty jacket with buckles.  After all, you're close enough to psychotic to justify it now.  Now, either you will behave or you will be sorry.  I haven't even *begun* to put my imagination to work on your behavior.  Do we have a clear understanding?"

"You know, one of the kitsune's visitors were elves," Xander said casually.  "Very Tolkeinish elves."

Goemon looked at him.  "That would get us invaded."

"Prissy people in tights don't scare me, father," she said patiently.

"Honey, prissy people in tights with a superiority complex that Goemon could have, magnified by six or seven hundred percent, in an exclusionist society with a lot of rules about honor and proper conduct.  A whole race of people who make Goemon look like a five-year-old you on a sugar rush, when he's meditating.  And that's the average.  I'm sure I can ask my buddy to ask them to find us a nanny just for you," he said, pinching her on the cheek with a smirk.  "One who'll follow you everywhere.  One who'll teach you all the greatest womanly arts, like dancing and sewing."  She shuddered.  "One who'll focus solely on you and your baby there, to make you into one of them - a stiff, very strong, elfish woman."

She let out a quiet whimper.  "Please don't, daddy.  Please?"  She gave him a pitiful look.  "I swear, I vow it on thieves honor, that I will try harder to behave.  I swear I will, just please don't get me an elven nanny!"  She started to cry, hugging him.

"I doubt she'd follow us out on jobs," Jigen pointed out dryly.  "So we'd either have to send her to another hideout and visit, or go back on long-term vacation."

Lupin shuddered.  "Xander, that's too evil a thought for this family.  Are you sure you're not a Luthor in disguise?"

"Quite," he said smugly, patting Arsene on the back.  Her baby squealed so he picked it up and put it on Ishi's lap.  "Here, pet the grandchild."  He continued to soothe her.  "Do we have an understanding, Arsene?"

"Yes, daddy," she said weakly.  "I'll try to do better.  I really will."  She gave him a long, wet eyed look.  "I'm so sorry.  Sometimes the fun gets out of hand."

He gave her a gentle hug.  "I understand.  Next time learn to think first."  He looked at Lupin.  "You're keeping me off the beach and from getting a tan."  Lupin chuckled as he started the car, getting them back onto the road.  "You know, the elves are fantastic climbers and archers," he noted.  "It wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"No, Xander," everyone in the car said, meaning it as well.

***

Later that night, Dawn looked up as Ray walked into the office and slammed the door.  "I've got part of an email for you."

"From?" he asked, leaning against the front of his desk.

"Xander.  He said the idea that you were mumbling during the convention was more than worth it and he thanks you because it worked.  An elven nanny for Arsene, alone, was a good idea and it seems to have worked wonders on her behavior.  Also, he sent Zenny a picture of Arsene Lupin the Fifth, the only child she plans on having," she said with a smirk.

"She's not old enough to get pregnant yet!" he said angrily.  She turned on her monitor and let him see the picture.  He burst out in giggles.

"I think was her father's idea as well.  From what we were told, in the airport.  Oh, and the stewardesses hit on Ishi and Xander to give them some in the bathroom on the flight."

"Is Ishi all right?"

"Oh, yeah, he was very polite when he turned them down.  They were really impressed with the little samurai."  She smirked. "You missed another fight demonstration.  Someone mailed you a copy of it, in Lupin's handwriting."

"Yeah, Teddy said I missed it," he sighed, picking up the package from the desk and opening it to put it into the VCR.  He watched the obvious security camera footage with a smirk.  Those kids were great.  "Ishi does a great Yoda," he noted.

She laughed, then suddenly clamped a hand over her mouth and ran to be sick.

"That is why your husband is presently drunk," he called after her.   He went back to watching his tape, smirking at the kids as they pounced Jonas.  He rewound it when his teammates came in. "Hey, guys.  We've got Ishi pulling a Yoda and Xander being Goemon on tape if you wanted to watch it.  It's from the con."

Vecchio, Fraser, and Myron Banks all sat down to watch the tape.  "Where's Dawnie?" Ray Vecchio asked.

"Gettin' sick.  Her husband is in for one hell of a surprise.  Think we should get her a test?"

"I dropped one off in the women's bathroom on the way in," Myron said with a grin for him.  "They're good."

"The sad thing is, Xan's a gunman, not a sword guy.  That's his fun."

"Plus the costumes," Fraser noted.  "Didn't you say one was technical, Ray?"

"I did," Ray K said happily.  "He's been doing Biker Mice with robotics in the tails."  Myron gaped at him, an awestruck look on his face.  "So far we've seen Vinnie and Throttle."

"Hell," Myron agreed.  "Yeah, he is one of them."  He shook his head and went back to watching.  "Anything else?"

"Yeah, look on Dawnie's monitor.  Arsene has chosen her successor.  It's a picture of Lupin the Fifth."

Myron canceled the screensaver and then burst out in giggles.  "I'm sure the ferret suits their lifestyle very well," Fraser noted calmly, smiling a bit.  "Anything else?"

"Yeah, I was mumbling that an elf should be a good thing to switch to next year and he took it as an idea to get that one calmed down.  He threatened Arsene with an elven nanny if she didn't straighten up.  He said it worked," he said smugly.

"They exist?" Ray Vecchio asked bitterly.

"As far as Xander assumed, I'm guessin' so," he agreed smugly.  "Seems to have calmed down Lupin the Fourth.  Between that and her kid, maybe we'll see a normal little girl."

Dawn walked in and glared at them.  "Where is my mother-fucking asshole of a husband?"

"The bar up the street with a few of the guys," Fraser said primly, frowning at her.

"Thank you.  He and I need to have a knock-down, drag it out into the street sorta fight."

"Then the test was positive?" Myron asked dryly, smirking at her.  She glared at him and he flinched. "Don't worry 'bout it, Dawnie, he loves kids."

"I don't think we need more!" she said hysterically.  She went to find her husband, stunning the guys in the bar as she walked in, with her badge on her waist.  "Husband!" she snapped.  He gave her a sheepish look.  "You couldn't tell me?"

"Well, no, I was hoping it wasn't what I was thinking," he offered gently, sounding almost hopeful.

"I'm fucking well pregnant!  How much worse can it get?"

"It could be Lupin's," one smartass in the corner said with a smirk for her.

"Honey, it'd probably be Lavelle's not his," she retorted, making him fall off his chair.  She looked at her spouse again, who looked stunned. "It was a long time ago," she defended. "So not the point however.  I'm knocked up.  I can't help you on chases and things.  Hello, bad things that could make the world end for some of us."

"It won't," he promised, pulling her closer to hold her until she calmed down.  "I always loved you when you were pregnant," he whispered in her ear, earning a swat.  "You were pretty and glowing.  I loved to tease you.  Don't you remember?"  She swatted him again but it was weaker; he had done that in that other timeline each and every time.  "Plus, I'll get paternity leave and the kids'll help you a lot," he promised, smiling at her.   "Drive me home so we can celebrate?"

"Oh, no.  Not a chance. I saw what Fujiko looked like when Goemon decided to celebrate the last one.  You're not doing that to me."  She backed away from him, so he pounced and kissed her as best he could, making her melt against his chest.  "Fine, but I don't want to get whiplash from my head hitting the walls."  The other cops laughed.  "I got pictures from Lavelle.  Arsene's found an heir.  Lupin the Fifth is quite adorable, in a manner of speaking."  Zenigata didn't even hear her, he was busy nibbling on her neck.  "Fine, you can celebrate, but you can't do it here."

"Drive him home," the bartender suggested.

"I rode my bike."  She waved off his keys.  "He'll get 'em tomorrow."  She walked her mate out to her bike, getting him onto the back so he could rub against her while the whole- body vibrator rode them home.  After they had made it past all the kids and into their room, the door was firmly locked and the kids were kept away from the celebration.

***

Later that night, Zenigata sat up in bed and stared at his wife.

"Again?" she moaned.  "You wore me out, Zenny."

"Lupin the *Fifth*?" he demanded.  "She's eight."

"Nine."

"Nine then.  She's much too young to have anything like that happen!  Did her father kill the bastard or do I have to?  Because I will.  People like that make me ill, no matter how bad the future mother is!"

She sat up and kissed him to stop the tirade. "She was yanking their chains, Zenny.  It's a ferret.  A baby ferret."

He scowled.  "A ferret?"

She nodded, smirking at him.  "And Lupin had a sudden flash of horror when he heard her calling for him."

"I would too.  That's a horrible thought.  The world would end if there were three of them alive at the same time."  He kissed her gently.  "Thank you, Dawn," he said as soon as he had to breathe.  He laid a gentle hand on her stomach.  "This one will surely catch their grandkids."

She swatted his hand.  "Behave.  Our kids won't have to be cops.  I'll expect one to have my grace and skills."

He smirked.  "Of course.  They're good skills for cops."  He kissed her again, pulling her back under the covers with him.  "We'll even let Benny teach it tracking and Ray how to dress.  I might even let Myron and the other one take it to the conventions with him."  He made his wife squeal with one covered hand and he smirked at her.  "Too bad it's already happened.  If not, you would be by tomorrow morning."

"I'm not a baby machine."

"Of course you're not, you're just an excellent mother," he soothed as he entered her.  "You look wonderful while you're pregnant.  Even when you're pasty and pale from the morning sickness."  He worked himself in and out of her body, making her clutch at his arms.  "Calm down, I've got the stamina of a much younger man now," he assured her with a wink.  "There's nothing that's going to stop me before the sun comes up."

She moaned and arched up against his body.  "More, Zenny!"

"Coming, dear," he assured her happily.  He loved his wife this way.

Conventions and Madness

NC-17, Lupin/Sylvia/Xander, Jigen/Sylvia

Lotus looked up as someone called her name, frowning at them. She didn't know this person.  She looked around the open-air market, but all of her family was elsewhere.  No one had wanted to look at plants with her and her Uncle Marcus was over looking at ritual weapons again.  "You are?" she asked.  The man stopped in front of her and bowed.  "Again, a name and a reason for making me stop," she said firmly.  "Or else I kick your ass."

"I am Mar Ducal," he said firmly, staring down at her.  "You are Lotus Goemon, daughter of Fujiko Mine."

"How dare you mention her in front of me," she hissed, eyes narrowing.  "Who are you and what do you want?"

"We merely wanted to inform you that your mother was in custody," he said, stepping away from her.  "I was sent as a messenger to your father.  May I follow you back to him?"

"Marcus!" she yelled.  He came trotting back.  "He wants to talk to Father about the bitch."

"Do not say such words," Marcus chastised gently, giving her a reprimanding look.

"My mother, Uncle Marcus," she said icily.

"Oh, never mind then," he said with a small grin for her.  He looked at the messenger.  "Follow me.  Lotus, you are not to leave this area of the market until one of us come for you.  I trust some of the people around here to protect you."

"I can protect myself," she said impatiently.  "Go, before he makes me want to hurl.  Probably a fireball."  Marcus led the messenger off and she took a deep breath before going back to her shopping.  Her teacher's lists were quite extensive and she had no idea what a few of them were for yet.  She moved onto the next stall and the woman inside gave her a long look. "I'm learning herbal magic," she said with a shrug, handing over her list.  "I don't know exactly what all of them are yet."

The woman gave her a disapproving look.  "Very well.  Come inside.  You will burn if you don't."

"I'm wearing sunscreen, and I don't know you that well.  Besides, I'm a Goemon, I don't burn."

The woman's look softened some.  "You are Lotus?"  She nodded.  "Then I will help," she agreed.  "My ways and yours are complimentary and your Order has advised those of us friendly to aid you where we can since you do not live near them most of the time."

"Cool beans," she agreed, letting the woman help her shop and taking her advice on who to talk to about what she didn't have.   She came out of that section of the market with a few large bags, including some seeds and instructions on growing them.  Some of this was much more complicated than she had thought it would be.  Some of them had to be carefully gathered at certain times with certain implements.  One of them wouldn't grow well with any magic around it at all.   She was going to have to find out how to do a garden when she didn't stay in one place for very long.  Maybe that teleporting spell?  She ran into a familiar back and grimaced.  "Ishi...."  She stopped and looked at the man, then blinked a few times.  "Well, you look like you're family, but I don't know you.  Who are you?"

The man gaped at her, then shook his head.  "I'm from the Clan of a Hundred Nations."

"I'm Lotus Goemon."

"Then we share ancestors," he said respectfully.  "Is your father about?  I seek him."

"You'd have to follow the ranting.  They're somewhere."  She looked around then shook out her fingers after taking out a small piece of her father's kimono, from the seam nearest his armpit, and cast a small tracking charm on it.  Then she followed it right to her father.  "Look who I ran into, literally."

"Kenshi," Goemon said, staring at him.  "Why are you here?"

"I came to speak with you," he said quietly.  "She uses magic?"

"Often," he said, looking at his daughter.  "Here?"

"Tracking charm," she defended.  "I've got a lot of gardening to do."  He scowled.  "Seriously.  My herbology lessons are starting, father.  I am a nature person."  He shook his head and left it with the others while he walked his clansman off.  "Who's he?"

Ishi looked, then shrugged.  "Never seen him before."

Lupin coughed.  "They're from the same clan," he explained.  "So they're probably distant cousins."

"So, are you going to let my mother rot, like she deserves?" Lotus asked him.

He shrugged.  "We haven't talked about it yet, Lotus."

"Fine," she sighed.  "Disrupt our lives more, Uncle Lupin.  I've still got a lot of gardening to do."  She took her brother's arms.  "I'm going to need some help in the garden, and you need a break.  It'll be helpful."

"Why do I have a sudden vision of me pulling a plow?" he asked.

"Because you think in Imperialist times?" she suggested.  "Maybe a rototiller, but it's mechanical and has a motor so you'd be pushing the plow.  Mostly I'll need someone to help me plant things and mark them."

"You do realize we're leaving again in another four weeks?" Jigen asked.  She nodded with a sigh.  "Fine.  As long as you keep that in mind."

"I try really hard, Uncle, but I've got to learn it sometime."

"We know," Lupin assured her.  "We'll help you however we can, you know that.  Even if someone does have to teach you how to move yourself around the country to get to your garden back at the house."

"She's not old enough yet, it can do odd things to her body," Xander told him.  "Once in a while is fine, depending on it daily could warp her structure.  She'll turn into a garden gnome or something."

"Uncle!" she protested with a scowl.  "Mean bastard!"

"Language," he father snapped without looking to see which one it was.

"He said I was going to become a garden gnome!"

"Daughter!"

"Fine.  Sorry, dad."  She stuck her tongue out at him and her brother smacked her across the back of the head. "Ow!"  She looked and found Kenji leaning down to do it.  "Meanie!"  She took him to hold, patting him on the back.  "Don't pick up bad manners, Kenji.  Become more like your middle name."

"Baba," he said, showing off the stuffed sheep he had found.

"Awww, isn't that cute," Xander cooed.

"I had one of those."

"You took away what little sanity we had with it at the time too," Lupin assured her.  "Not only was it grazing on the sheets, you used to dance it across us and keep babbling bababa all day."

"Hey, I didn't say moo, give me some credit," she complained.  "I couldn't have been much older."  She grinned at her brother.  "That's a very pretty sheep, Kenji.  Can you say sheep?"

"Eep!"

"Close enough," she agreed with a smile.  She kissed him and handed him back.  "Here you go.  They're stronger than I am.  Where are my bags?"  Sierra coughed and waved them.  "Thanks, guys.  I also got the recipe for a killer skin helping masque that we'll work on tonight, as soon as I find some natural oatmeal."

"That way," Jigen said, pointing.  The whole family walked that way, trusting Goemon to catch up.  He looked at Bix, who had Yu on her back.  "You all right?  We can take some of them."

"No, I'm fine," she promised.  She pointed behind her at where Fred and Sarah were leashed to her obi.  "They're behaving again."

Xander looked at Lupin.  "When was the sheep thing?  I don't remember that," he said quietly.

"While you were doing all the conventions in the US and we couldn't find you," he said with a grin.  "That's why we were already insane."

"Okay then."  He grinned back.  "I didn't want to think I still had some gaps.  You know, don't want to make you work that hard again," he said with a nudge.

"Oh, it was my pleasure," Lupin assured him smugly.  "Then again, if you want, I can always try again, just in case you've got any gaps left."

"If I have to be good, he should have to be good too," Arsene complained.

"He's an adult, they can get away with shit," Ishi reminded her.  He stiffened when he saw a guard coming their ways.  "Yo, 'rents?"  The adults all looked at where he was looking.

"You'd think, in this day and age, that people would have tolerance by now," Xander complained.

"Tolerance is next to impotence on the bigot's list of evil things," Arsene said.

Her father looked at Jigen.  "Do I want to congratulate her or reprimand her?"

"That was a cute quip," he offered.  "No talking about impotence around your father, Arsene.  Remember, if he catches that disease, your other father will go insane and take the rest of us with him."

"Fortunately they make drugs for that now," Lotus said grimly.  "Not for women with that problem of course, but for men there's all sorts of help."

"Sis, I'm sure you can find something herbal for those times, I'm also sure you'll have a lot of fun testing it when yours fails," Ishi said smugly.  She hit him and he winced, rubbing his arm.  "Ow!  Shrew!"

"Keep it up," she warned. "I'm learning transformations next."

"Daughter," Goemon snapped as he walked up behind them.

"Father, he started it.  Kindly get your thong out of its present twist and rejoin the rest of us wearing comfortable underwear."  He glared at her and she glared right back.  "He started it, not me.  He reaped the rewards of his crap this time.  Either start to treat us fairly or don't do it at all."

"I saw you hit him."

"You saw me hit him because of the insinuation he just made," she corrected.  "Get it right!"  She stomped off.

"Enough of the sniping!" Xander said firmly.  "Or else I'm pulling out the baby midol!  For all of you!" he said, glaring at Goemon.  "Ishi started it and she finished it.  Quit picking on the girl for sticking up for herself.  One day, your life may depend on hers and her skills."  Goemon looked down.  "Thank you!  Finally!"  He shook his head and went to look at a stall off the walkway.  He felt a hand on his pants and looked down, unclipping Fred to pick him up.  "Hey.  Did you want a cuddle?"  He cuddled his son gently.  "There, how's that?"

"Bad?" he asked, pointing at the knives.

"Only if they're used on you," he said with a grin.  "That's very good though.  Good boy, Fred."  Fred grinned and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek.  "Thanks, little man.  Come on, let's go calm down Uncle Goemon."  Goemon was still glaring at his daughter's back.  "Goemon, we love you, man, but would you mind joining us here in the twenty-first century for a few minutes please?  I know you love the traditional ways and we love that about you, but girls are allowed to defend themselves, even against those pesky boy creatures.  Don't believe me, ask Bix.  Love the daughter that you have, man, not the daughter you thought you had. Otherwise we're leaving you with childcare alone tonight while we go out and party on the beach."

Goemon gave him a long look.  "It is not right that the children fight so."

"Then yell at your son for insinuating that she'd be testing impotence medicines on herself."

Goemon glared at his son, who wilted. "Apologize, now."

"Yes, sir.  Sorry, Lotus."  He didn't get an answer so he trotted off the direction she had gone.  "Lotus?"  She was either ignoring him or not in hearing distance.  "Lotus?" he called a bit louder.  "Come on, dad wants to apologize and so do I."  Still no answer so he trudged on, finding another part of the market in front of him.  He found his sister in front of a weapon's stall.  "I'm sorry, sis."

"Go away before I test it on you, and take that antique we call Father with you," she hissed.  "I'm tired of being bad for having internal sexual organs."

"He just yelled at me for picking on you," he promised.

She turned to look at him, the knife comfortable in her hand.  "Really?  And what about how it's automatically my fault each and every time you start on me?  Is that suddenly going to stop too?"

He swallowed, noticing how the hand with the knife had just clutched the handle tighter.  Her arm looked like it was fighting the action to stab him.  "I'm sorry, Lotus. I'll work on my habit of picking on you.  I really will.  I'll be a better big brother."

She snorted. "Yeah, and that'll work for how long?"  She turned away and went back to her browsing, taking that knife and another one for chopping herbs.  "Thank you."  She paid and took the packages, heading off in another direction.  "Tell father I'll be back tonight."

"Lotus, you're ten, you can't be out without an escort," he called after her.  "It's not healthy.  People can attack you."

She spun and glared at him.  "Really?  And now I'm helpless as well?  I sure as hell kick your ass each and every practice, Ishi.  Go away before I prove it in front of everyone here."  She turned and stomped off again.

He gave her a head start then tracked her through the market, shadowing her.  He was right, someone did approach her and she did quip him first and then hit him when he tried to grab her.  He started to move closer, but Lotus got him onto the ground and had one of her new daggers at his throat before he could move.

"People who would drag children away make me violent and ill," she warned.  "You do *not* grab a child and take them with you unless they're your own."  She pressed the dagger a bit more firmly against his throat.  "I will kill those who try to harm me.  I am a daughter, but I am one hell of a bitch in my own right and very well trained."  She got off him and grabbed her things, kicking him to get him off one of the packages so she could tuck the dagger back into it.  "Go away, now."  He scurried backwards until he ran into something then stood up and ran off.  She glared at the nearest shopkeeper.  "It seems to be a bad day for thinking I'm helpless."  She walked around that section, looking over all the wares.  She found a few pots she liked but she wasn't in the mood to carry them.  She looked at the shopkeeper. "I may be back for some of those.  I'm learning to garden."  She walked on, ignoring the people staring at her, including her brother.  "Ishi, go away!" she called.

"Fat fucking chance," he said as he walked up to where she was waiting.  "He could have more friends."

"Yay!"

"Lotus, we're children, we're not supposed to have to fight idiots like that. That's what parents are for."

"Yeah, well, he's got two new sons who need his special brand of instruction, the same as you did."  She pushed past him and headed into a darker feeling section of the market.  She thought about turning around but she knew this section led to the outer wall and if she turned around she'd probably run into someone worse.  She decided to walk past the peddlers of flesh and liquor instead.  No one here could beat her and if they tried then she'd deal with them, one way or another.

"Where are you going, little one?" a large female asked.

"Out of the market.  I know the outer wall is near this section."

"Do you not have parents?"

"I have a father, he's being an asshole.  As is my brother, who probably went running for him.  All I want to do is leave."

"There are those here who would harm you."

She snickered. "I'm not the innocent I seem," she offered.  "I'm a warrior in my own right.  They'd have one hell of a battle on their hands."  She nodded politely.  "Thank you for not trying to grab me."  She walked around the woman and the woman did try to grab her but she dodged the attempt and put her onto her stomach on the pavement within moments.  "Do not try again," she said complacently.  "I'm not in the nicest of moods."  She turned and glared at the men standing around.  "I've already had to kill to protect myself, get out of my way."  A few of them gave her a long look so she pulled out the dagger, tucking the other knife down her shirt.  She flexed her grip to make sure it was solid, then walked again. "Move or be hurt.  Remember, I'm at that height to hit your stomach.  Or lower."  Most of them got out of her way but a large man stood in her way so she growled.  "Move, now."

"No," he said with a chuckle.  "You'd never hurt anyone."  She moved in a flash of light and his pants were falling down around his ankles. "Needed to see it first?" he laughed.

"No, I needed to make sure it was there before I cut it off," she spat.  "Men like you should all be castrated and kept in pens.  All men should."  He laughed longer then lunged for her but she got him across the throat, barely, as she jumped up to get over his shoulder.  She walked away wiping off her dagger.  "I warned you.  I'm not the nice little girl I appear to be."  She headed on, finding the gateway a few streets over.  The guard gave her an alarmed look.  "I took a wrong turn," she explained.  She put up the dagger.  "For cutting herbs."  She smiled at him.  "I'm learning how to garden."  The guard gave her a longer look.  "Really."

"They did not hurt you?"

"I'm taking self-defense lessons.  The one who tried ended up on the ground. My father teaches it."  She straightened up.  "I've got to get back.  Where is the cab stand?"

"The next block down.  Let me walk you down there, just in case."  He walked her down to the cab stand, making sure she got into one.  "She came out of the East Gate," he warned the cabbie.

He looked at the girl, then at the guard.  "Her?"

"Her," he agreed.

"Fine, I'll be careful."  He got into the cab and looked back at her.  "Are you going to rob me?"

"It'd be stupid of me to announce that I was, but I'm not," she said gently.  "I just need to get back to my hotel.  I got turned around and hurting someone always gives me a headache."

"Fine."  He pulled away from the curb.  "Which hotel?"

"The Imperial."  He sped up, taking her there.  It was a higher class hotel, but not palatial by any means.  It was somewhere tourists liked to stay.  She paid what was on the meter without question and left a small tip before heading inside.  The woman at the desk gave her a long look.  "I got separated because my father was being a butthole.  I'm going upstairs.  Can I have someone let me in?"

"Of course."  She called over one of the bellhops, giving him a temporary key.  "Take her up to her room."  She watched as the girl walked off.  Then she made a note on the daily log in case something came of it.  She didn't want to get in trouble for a young girl running away from her parent.

***

Ishi walked into the suite and sighed in relief.  "She is here!"  The rest of them charged in.  "Do you know how stupid that was!" he shouted.  "You could have been killed!"

She looked up from her mixing, giving him a bland look.  "You're making me have a prozac moment.  I'd leave me alone now."  He backed away from her.  She went back to mixing.  "Had you called here, they would have told I was back.  Think of the obvious, it is what you trained us to do unless we were in danger."

"You mean like walking past the child molesters?" Xander asked.  "Nearly getting kidnaped, little things like that?"

"I was perfectly safe.  I do have a bit of training in case you didn't realize."

"Yes, but you put yourself in a situation where you had to use it.  That is not what you are to do with your training," Goemon reminded her. "That was to get away in case you needed it, not to allow you to go out and seek fights.  You are not an assassin, you are not an adult, and you are not fully trained yet."

She gave him a long look.  "No, but I sure as hell proved I'm good enough to get away from people when I get turned around because you sent my constant annoyance after me again.  Really, father, think about this.  If it were my brother, would you be ranting?"

"Yes!" he said firmly.  "Had he done this I would be taking it out on him.  The only thing stopping me at the moment is that you're younger!"  She scowled at him and he glared back.  "You are not to leave my side for the next six months, daughter, for any reason."

"Unless we're on a job," Lupin inserted.  "Then she can stay at the hotel."

"Fine," Goemon agreed. "That would be safer.  There is nothing that should have prompted you to go through that section of the market.  There is nothing that should have given you the idea that you are trained enough to deal with those sort.  You're ten, not fifty.  Not fully trained either."

"Goemon, quit spitting," Xander said calmly, walking closer slowly, just in case Goemon lost it and lashed out at them.  "Lotus, you put yourself into a lot of danger.  There was no reason to do that.  You could have gone around that section.  You could have easily gone around that section and had a direct line to the gates.  The fact that you chose to go forward into a situation that was more dangerous than you could have realized showed that you have bad judgement.  That was a situation that none of the adults would have gone into alone."

"Only a few of them tried anything and I stopped them!" she defended.

"Honey, two of the people down there were mine," Lupin told her calmly, arms crossed over his chest.  "They knew who you were.  The fact that any of them tried you even knowing who you were is a bad thing."  She gaped at him and he nodded.  "Yeah, they did.  That means that they were either testing you or didn't care because they wanted you that badly.  They wouldn't have stopped if one of my people hadn't come out and stopped one of them.  The guy you nicked on the throat was also shot in the blubber.  That's why you got away.  Otherwise we'd be pulling your ass out of a room and killing people on your behalf while your father brought you to the hospital."  She went pale.  "You are not well enough trained to handle real combat yet.  Neither is Ishi, for all that he's had to on occasion.  Neither of you have enough experience or training yet.  Your father took *years* to get to the point where he is and most of that after puberty had set in.  We started earlier with you guys, but you're only about half trained at best."  He shrugged at her hurt look.  "The truth may hurt but it's better you hear it from me than your father blistering your ass for you.  By the way, that knife technique wasn't that good. Your grip was backwards and it could have taken it out of your hand, leaving you weaponless until you had pulled the other out."  He sat down and Fred launched himself into his lap.  "Hey, Fred."  He patted the baby on the back.  "We like you, Lotus, we want to keep you alive and around.   Can you maybe help us with that?"

"Sorry," she said meekly, glancing at her father.  "I just got so mad and I knew that section had a gate nearby."

"Then the wise thing would have been to stop, pull out the map you were given, and look it over," Xander said firmly.  "Not to boldly go where no other children go.  You're not a starship."  She grimaced at him.  "Do you know what those sort do to children?" he asked, his voice going up.  "How they hurt them repeatedly and then kill them?"

Goemon looked at him.  "Calm yourself.  It was managed and she will not be that dumb again," he ordered.  Xander tried but he ended up hugging Sarah until she complained, and she never complained.  He looked at his daughter. "Even though I was wrong to chastise you for retaliating, you were even more wrong to stomp off that way.  It was a childish action."

"No, father, it kept me from hitting someone, namely you."  She stood up to him.  "You may not realize this, but my powers can and will come out under emotional stress, like what you give me constantly because I'm a girl.  I walked away to save you."  She stomped off, slamming her bedroom door.

Goemon looked at Marcus.  "It's true," Marcus admitted. "That's how I got chained to a floor and berated for months on end.  Magic is partially based on your will and your emotions.  Hers were running high and she did control it.  The fact that she kept going was wrong but the desire not to smite you wasn't."

"She can do that?"

"She'd regret it later, but she could easily have hurt you badly at the very least," Xander agreed.  "I can and I'm less powerful than she is.  I've seen Rupert take someone out with his when he got upset."  He looked up at his buddy.  "She shouldn't have gone that far away and she shouldn't have kept going, but it showed some sense to take herself out of the situation that was upsetting her that way."

"Walking away is always preferable to acting against someone harming you," Marcus agreed.  "There could have been any great manner of things she could have done.  Think about what she did to the kitsune the last time she got so mad at them.  That was only a tree."

Goemon nodded.  "Thank you.  I will talk with her further once she's calm."

"No, it's time to finish this," Ishi decided, going to pull his sister out of her bedroom.  He grabbed her and carried her out kicking at him, putting her in front of her father.  "You've got to listen this time, Lotus.  You're good to not smite father dead, but you kept going.  You could have asked me to walk you back.  You could have come back and gotten one of the other adults, who always stick up for you.  Hell, even I would have walked you out by then.  Show a bit of sense now and then, that's what we're yelling about. You walked into the section of drunk, horny, stupid people who were ready to nail anything that moved, pretty or not.  Since you're pretty, you're young, and you're little, they would have loved you.  It's time you heard the truth.  You've got an ego the size of Lavelle's when he's shooting targets.  It's going to be your downfall."  She opened her mouth and he scowled.  "Do not start, young lady!  You nearly fucked up your life so badly that nothing would have made it better!" he shouted.  "You nearly died horribly, with torture beforehand!"  She swallowed, nodding.  "The smart thing, what you've been trained to do, was to get someone bigger to walk you out because that's the wise thing for children to do when they're surrounded by bigger people.  You are a child.  I am a child.  All of us but Father and Uncle Jigen might as well be children and we all know better than to walk into that section without backup!"  She flinched.  "Now, you worried father ill.  You worried everyone ill.  Dad actually got sick when he heard!  I want you to apologize and I want one now!"

"You're not my parent," she hissed.

"I may not be, but I'm the closest you're coming to someone still giving a damn about your continued existence outside of a convent school at the moment."

"Not true," Goemon interjected.  "Ishi, it is for me to correct her, not you, though you were much calmer than I had expected."  He forced his daughter to turn around.  "You endangered your life on purpose.  How do you think we would have felt if you had died?"

"Dad, there are days when I'm pretty damn sure the only one who'd miss me is Arsene and the good kids," she said honestly.  He looked stunned.  "It's kinda obvious you didn't want me to be your daughter."

"No, I did expect to have a normal little girl," he admitted.  "Not some fierce woman who is willing to endanger everything over a temper tantrum."  She sighed. "It is true and you know it."

"Father, reality here, okay?  You blame me each and every time Ishi and I get into it.  Even when he starts it.  I'm always at fault.  Is it because I'm not some traditional woman?  If I turned into Bix would you actually start to love me again?"

"I've never stopped," he said calmly.  "I've never stopped loving you, but you do require more correction than he does.  Your temper is greater, your attitude is atrocious, and there are times when I think you and Arsene are switching bodies."  She groaned.  "I would like you to be *my* daughter, not Lupin's.  Not Marcus'.  You seemed to prefer them.  You never come to me for anything, not since you were six.  I wish you had.  I would have shared many more things with you, but I don't understand you most days.  I do not understand magic, nor do I understand the connection you have to every tree, plant, and blade of grass on the planet.  I would wish that you would work with me to understand you better.  I would listen if you tried, daughter.  All I can see so far is that you have an attitude problem that needs to be corrected in a few of you children."

"Gee, dad.  To be a woman in crime, you've got to be a bit stronger," Lotus said bitterly.  "Don't believe me, ask Uncle Xander."

"Oh, no, you're not laying this at my feet," Xander said quickly.  "You may need to be a bit stronger and better, but that doesn't mean that your attitude, Arsene's attitude as well, are needed.  That's arrogance, not ability.  Only ability speaks in our lives.  You guys have ability but you don't have the attitude down yet.  Because of that no one would ever hire either of you at the moment.  Name, skills, and all that good stuff is great, but people want the people that they trust to do the job and not pull an attitude or brag about it."

Lupin nodded. "True.  The attitude needs to be pared back.  None of the fences will take attitude.  None of the other bosses will take it. No one really wants to deal with it. You may be good, but in our world actions always speak louder.  Words always detract from your actions."

"And today your actions were that of a six-year-old," Goemon finished.  "Therefore, you are grounded to the room, or to my side, until you have corrected it.  In that time, you will be training harder since you seem to want to get into trouble.  Your other lessons will be pushed back until then."  She gaped at him.  "I do not care, daughter.  Your attitude sucks."

"It does," Jigen agreed, grabbing her to sit down with her.  "Remember when you were little and you met Tokyo's Don?"  She nodded. "Well, even he's noticed your attitude.  He asked if it was puberty, he was hoping you weren't ruined."  She swallowed.  "Now, you're smart.  Figure it out."

"I just want to be treated like an equal," she whined.

"Then act like it," he noted.  "Ishi should know better than to pick on you.  He now feels horrible because you could have been killed when you walked away from his fighting with you."  She looked down again.  "It would have partially been his fault if you had gotten hurt."  He tipped her chin back up.  "You've got a choice.  You can finish growing up or you can keep on this way and become someone's spoiled princess since no one will ever hire you.  I'm sure Ethan knows a nice few boys you can date if you want out of the life."

"Eww."

"Tough," Lupin said calmly.  "He's right.  Your attitude is so wrong it's not funny, Lotus.  Sometimes parents have to yell to protect you.  The same as your big brother is supposed to be watching out for you."

"The same way you do Kenji and Yu," Xander added.  "He's right. You've got that snotty cheerleader vibe down real well, Lotus.  I'm sure you're gonna love it when you start school this fall.  There's going to be a bunch of girls around who have that same attitude for anything beneath them."

"I'm not beneath them!"

"You will be unless they find a use for you or until you prove you're better.  All the training in the world won't impress them.   You're going to have to be yourself and figure out your place in a new social hierarchy and your first day will determine that.  Your attitude is going to get you shunned by everyone."  Xander sat down, looking over at her.  "It's pitiful that you can't figure out how to control your temper by now.  You should be able to express yourself better.  On the other hand, your brother has a habit of trying even your father's patience.  You're both in that bad area of time where your lives are going odd.  You're going to have to figure it out soon though, because you're creating your adult persona at the moment.  Unless you want to be branded as a bitch for eternity, I'd straighten up soon and figure this shit out."

"I'm sorry my temper got the better of me, but you've got to admit it's unfair!" she complained.

"We do, and your father agrees," Xander reminded her.  She looked at her father and he nodded.  "That's why each and every time you two fight, you're both getting it in the ass."  He stood up.  "Now, go to your room for the rest of the night.  We'll get dinner sent up for you."  She slid off her uncle's lap and went back to her room.  "I feel bad now," he admitted.

"Me too," Goemon agreed.  He looked at his son.  "This is partially your fault.  You know better as well."

Ishi sighed. "I don't know why I do it, it just seems fun."

"It's part of being a brother, but you're doing it a bit too much and taking too much pleasure from it," Xander told him.  "I've observed this from other families with children.  Now, go to *your* room and think about it."  Ishi nodded and headed that way.  Xander looked at the other kids.  "Nap time!"

"Some of us are too old to take a nap, Father, can we read instead?" Melissa asked.

"As long as it's either a textbook or something fun," Lupin agreed. "Nothing trashy, Arsene."

"I've still got a history paper to do," she reminded him, going to the room she was sharing to work on her homework.  Lotus was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling.  "You really were in danger.  Daddy nearly blew steam out his ears when someone called him."

"Sorry."

"Next time you'll know better," Arsene reminded her.

"She's to be thinking," her father called from the other side of the door.

"Yes, dad."  She pulled out her history textbook and flipped to the correct section, getting down all the pertinent facts for the paper that was due in a few days.  "At least school'll mean that we get real teachers and less papers."

"Papers are good," Lotus assured her.  "It means I get to pick what I want to learn."  She flipped onto her side to look at her buddy.  "It was dumb, huh?"  Arsene looked at her and nodded quickly.  "I'm sorry I worried you guys."

"You've got this great habit of reacting and then thinking, Lotus, switch the two sometimes."

"Memo from the pot to the kettle re: color issues," Xander said from the doorway.   "She's supposed to be thinking and you're supposed to be doing homework.  We won't have you behind when you go in, even if we have to take the summer off and drill knowledge into your heads."

"We're not behind, I'm a year ahead in science," Arsene complained.  "So's Lotus."

"Yes, but you're both behind in history and geography.  Ishi's behind in grammar. You're all behind in something and most of it's about six months behind.  So therefore you will all study.  Or else you'll be put into a lower grade.  That would separate you guys more and we don't want that.  We want you guys to go in for the same grade."

Arsene sighed. "Yes, dad."

"Thank you.  Lotus, remember that you do have a philosophy exam to take."  He closed the door and went to curl up on his end of the couch.  "She's going back to her homework," he said as he sat down.  "Now what?"

"Now, we've got to plan what to do with them during jobs," Lupin pointed out.  "Bix asked for a few weeks off."

"We have a job coming up?" Xander asked.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We're deciding on rescuing Fujiko again or not," Jigen said bitterly.  "I'm in the 'not' category myself, even if she's suddenly found God and become a nun."

Xander looked at Goemon.  "Do you want her back?"

"Not the point," Lupin pointed out.

"It is," Xander said calmly.  "Her coming back will impact him the most, and his kids the worst.  I'm sure one of the kids will probably try to attack her.  If she doesn't kill us for coming."  He looked at Goemon again.  "If you want her back, I'll help you.  No questions asked."

"I'm not sure what I want yet," Goemon admitted.  "I do know that I don't want her in jail."

Ishi slipped out of his room.  "Are we discussing the mother?"  Everyone stared at him.  "I'm speaking for the children," he pointed out.  "If she rejoins the group it will directly impact Lotus and myself, plus Arsene has promised to cap her the first time she snipes at any of us or ignores one of the babies."  He looked at his father.  "She's not the woman you married, father.  I doubt she ever will be."

"That may be, but I do owe her something for having you four," Goemon reminded him.

"Gratitude isn't a reason to rescue her, father.  It's a reason to get her released."  Goemon looked stunned and his son shrugged.  "Personally, I'm still confused about her and all that stuff.  I'd love to pound her into the dirt some days but then again she is my mother and I feel as if I should like her at least a bit.  Lotus feels the same way."  He nodded so he looked at Lupin.  "Can this be done without direct intervention?  Sending her something to help her free herself?"

"She's injured," Jigen said bitterly.  He lit his cigarette and took a deep pull from it, exhaling slowly.  "She's got a broken leg and some marks on her back from some light beatings for information."

"Then that's wrong and we should stop it," Xander agreed.  "Are there others in that jail who are not supposed to be in there or who don't deserve it?"  Lupin nodded.  "Then we can legitimately free them all and have Fujiko just be one of the numbers.  We can set her up in a safehouse we won't be visiting in the near future if we have to.  A broken leg isn't fatal."

"I like that idea better," Jigen agreed.  "Goemon?"

"I can stand behind that," he admitted.  He stood up.  "Son?"

"I don't personally want to see the woman but torture is something I won't allow to go on without fighting against it. Plus, even if you had to go personally to free them all, it would be an easier plan than taking over the prison."  Xander groaned.  "What?"

"Other timeline, Ishi, don't worry about it," Lupin said, looking at Xander.  "It wasn't a half-bad plan, Xander.  It was a hasty one, but it was the best we could have hoped for at the time and it did give us enough time to finish the rescue.  Quit complaining about it.  We were more upset about you taking down the Immigration facility in LA."  He looked at the others.  "Can we do that?"

"We can," Goemon agreed.  "It would be for the best if I didn't have to see her yet."  He got up and went to pick up the infant that had just screamed in pain.  "Sarah, what's wrong?" he asked gently, picking her up to look her over.  "Did Arsene's pet bite you?" he asked when he noticed she was holding her arm.  She shook her head and pointed at the bed she had been climbing out of.  It had a sharp spot and had scraped her.  "Come, I will clean and bandage that for you," he soothed, taking her to the bathroom.  Lupin came in to check on him. "She was scraped on the bed.  We should complain about that."

"We will be," Lupin agreed, patting Sarah on the head.  "Is he spoiling you?"  She stuck her tongue out.  "Don't do that," he said with a grin.  "Someone might try to steal it."  He made a grab for it but she sucked it back in too quickly and giggled.  "Good girl.  When she's done, bring her out with us.  Fred's already toddled out scowling and yammering about the bed."  He went back to his seat, moving his precious son from it. "She's fine, the bed bit her."

"That will be fixed or I'll be throwing the bed and the manager out the window," Xander growled.  Jigen kept him from moving.  "I'm going to complain."

"No, I'll complain.  That way the guy can live long enough to fix it," Jigen said, giving him a look.  "Find us plans on this prison."  Xander sighed and went to look it up in the database of buildings the thieves bulletin board kept online.  Jigen shared a look with Lupin as he stood up.  Sometimes Xander was just a scary person for no reason.  "I'm gonna do that.  Be right back."  He headed down the stairs, walking up to the front desk.  "One of our kids just got a bad scrape from a bed," he told the desk clerk.  She gave him a 'so' look and he sighed mentally.  "Manager," he suggested coolly.  She pushed a button on the phone and he came out smiling. "One of our little ones just got scraped on one of the beds."

"I'm so sorry," he said, blinking a few times. "Is she all right?  Does she need a tetanus shot?"

Jigen rolled his eyes.  "Dude, she's not quite two.  She's had her booster recently, but the bed still dug a really pretty line into her arm.  I'm the calm one at the moment."  The manager nodded, understanding that.  "Her actual father wanted to throw you and the bed out the window."

"We'll switch it out right away," he promised.  "Will a rollaway be fine?"

"Sure.  We'll be leaving sooner than expected anyway," Jigen noted with a shrug.  "Someone in the family is in trouble."  He walked away, going to take pictures of her arm, just in case they needed them for further reference.

"Why are you humoring him?" the clerk asked.

"Because that is a famous gunman. He's Lupin's gunman.  He's the stable one."  She looked like she got it.  "The other gunman, the one with silver hair will not only throw me out the window he'd probably torture me first for harming his little darling.  Lavelle is the one who went after Geneva because someone there wanted to kidnap one of his children.  I'm aiming for self preservation."

"Good idea, sir.  Shall I call maintenance?"

"Please.  Let's put the best rollaway in there.  I'll go up personally to look at the bed.  We'll have to clean it anyway if there's any blood on it."  He went to make a note in his log about the switch, just in case someone decided to be really mean and sue them.

***

Fujiko looked up in misery as she heard whistling.   Only her door on the whole ward hadn't opened.  The other prisoners had laughed about that as they had fled the building.  She stood up, looking at the person coming up the hall.  "Lupin?" she breathed, resting against the bars.  "Get me out of here, please?  Pops was here and I was the only one who couldn't get out."

"Not quite.  There were a few serial killers who had the same problem," he admitted, leaning against the bars.  "We did it so you could go to a hideout."  He opened her door and handed her crutches.  "Come on, I'm driving you over there and handing you the phone."  She gave him an odd look.  "Then the rest of us are heading back on vacation.  We need one and Yu is really happy to have his dad at the moment.  He hasn't been feeling well."

"Oh."  She hopped after him, wincing at each move as it stretched her back.  "Slow down."

"We don't have a lot of time, Fujiko."

"No princess or any other names?" she sneered.

"You're not mine to treat that way," he reminded her, opening a side door.  He nodded at Xander to cover them.  The cops could be there any moment now.  "Come on, car's just around the corner.  Lavelle's got everyone else."

"Fine.  Thanks.  Hi, Xander, how're the kids?"

"Perfect, as always.  Your daughter managed to nearly kill a child molester.  She's got your temper."

"Fujiko, this can wait," Lupin announced.  She hobbled after him and got into the car with a wince.  "Once you get there, you can call someone to look you over.  They'll be able to get you decent enough to leave the country."  He started the car and pulled out, heading off down the street as fast as he dared.  He pulled into the parking garage under the apartment building they had a small apartment in, helping her out and up the stairs.  He let her inside and handed her the phone. "There you go."  He turned but she caught his hand.  "What?"  He turned to look at her again.

"You're not going to help me do anything else?"

"Fujiko, you left.  You destroyed Goemon and you left.  He's my friend, you're his ex.  That should explain it all to you."

"We're not divorced yet," she said bitterly.

"And you won't be.  He's made himself very clear on that point.  He wants nothing at all to do with you because of your attitude, and he won't divorce you because he doesn't believe in it.  Feel lucky we came at all.  Your son reminded us that we couldn't tolerate torture in jails.  Otherwise we wouldn't have come."  He got free of her and handed her back the phone.  "There, call someone to come in and check you over so you can leave.  There's a small stash of money in the kitchen if you need it and a small bottle of advil around here somewhere.  Later, Fujiko."

"Cold bastard!" she hissed.

"Yeah, well, that's why we were so perfect together," he pointed out.  "I've never abandoned you in your life, yet you're more than capable of doing it to everyone and everything in your life.  I'm damn sorry I couldn't talk Goemon out of marrying you.  Then again, we wouldn't have Ishi or Lotus, or even Kenji or Yu."  He left, heading down to his car.  He was through with that woman.  He found Xander leaning against the side, holding a cloth to his arm.  "You all right?"

"Myron's a damn good shot," he said grimly.  "Got me from a moving car.  We split up.  Jigen took Marcus and I'm here with you."

"Fine.  Get in.  We'll get you cleaned up once we hide for the night."

"Outside of the country, Lupin.  I don't want to be here.  They're heading for the border homeward."

"Not a bad idea," Lupin agreed, getting in to drive.  Xander slid in next to him and tipped the seat back, but did put on his seat belt.  "You're sure you're okay?"

"It's only a graze.  I've had worse."

"Fine.  As soon as we stop I'm going to baby that for you."  He backed out and headed for the roads, speeding up as soon as they hit the highway out of town.  He saw the roadblock and looked at Xander.  "Run it or stop?"  Xander didn't answer, he was deep in his mind or meditating.  Lupin looked ahead again as they came up on it.  He saw a shimmer and gasped.  "Xander?"

"Magic.  Become Henri again, Lupin," he moaned.

"Of course.  Cover that better."  Lupin stopped at the guards, rolling down his window.  "Bonjour," he said cheerfully.  "Is there a problem with tourists?"

"No," he said grimly, waving them on.  "Your friend all right?"

"He ate the wrong thing," he said with a grin.  "I warned him but he is young and foolish."  He rolled up the window and hurried on.  "Just another mile and you can drop it," he soothed, reaching over to touch Xander's trembling hand.  They barely got out of sight before the illusion dropped.  "Good job, Xan."  He didn't hear anything so he looked over.  Xander was pale and shaking, but he wasn't answering.  "Xander?"  He pulled off the road and looked behind them as he shifted over to check him.  He was still breathing, he simply wasn't conscious.  "You must have worn yourself out.  I'm going for the border and we'll be safe soon," he whispered.  He turned around and started the car again, heading for the nearest border crossing, not caring that it was to an Islamic country.  They could get a flight out of there as long as they weren't caught.  At the border he changed to the access roads, knowing that Zenigata would stop them since he had been standing there.  That trenchcoat said it all.  He got them over the border at an unguarded spot, then headed for the nearest airport.  Iran was not the country he wanted to be in.  Maybe he should have headed south instead, but this way had safety faster, which was better for Xander. He found a small smuggler's airport he remembered from long ago and found it flourishing, so he pulled in there.  The people there gave him shocked looks as he got out.  "Morning," he said in Arabic.  "Is Raul still here?"

"Yah, he's retired though," one of the guys said, looking him over.  "I know you."

"Good.  We need to leave the country."  He closed the door.  "My partner's got food poisoning."  They all winced. "Exactly, and we're being blamed for a prison break over the border.  Can one of you help us?"

"For the right price.  Say ten thousand apiece?" one of the guys noted.

Lupin nodded. "Cash, diamonds, or credit card?"

"Cash is always welcome, especially American or British."  Lupin broke into his stash and pulled out the cash, handing it over.  Then the pilot and he got Xander into the old, rickety plane and they took off.  "Which destination?"

"Somewhere we can hide in," Lupin suggested through the open door.  "Not Cairo and not Athens.  Somewhere safer."

"You got it.  Gibralter?"

"Decent enough," Lupin agreed.  He had a hideout near the airport there.  He picked up the bottle of water he had gotten out of a machine, forcing some down Xander's throat.  He'd need it later and he guessed a reaction headache was a bad thing from the last one.  He wished he had some of those pills but they had used them all.  He'd use his cell but this plane would probably die from the clashing frequencies.  Jigen knew he'd be going somewhere safer.

***

Lupin looked around the old hideout, grimacing.  "I thought it was supposed to be cleaned each week," he complained.  But that was all right.  He could clean it easily enough.  It would give him something to do while Xander slept for a few hours.  Someone tapped on the door and he growled, looking out the peephole.  "Oh, wonderful," he muttered, going back to his cleaning.  Pops could break down the door if he wanted him that badly, and then Xander still wouldn't hear him.   He ran some soapy water into the sink, noticing it came out that way.  "This is not a good thing."  He sniffed, it smelled like bleach.  "Runoff from the washer?"

"Oh, probably," Zenigata said as he strolled inside.  "Your boy all right?"

"No."  He turned to face him.  "Gonna try to arrest me again?"

"Ah, but you see, I know you won't hurt Lavelle."  He smirked.  "And he's helpless."

"Yeah, and Jigen and Marcus are still around, as is Goemon."

"Yes, but they're in another country and we're moving you tonight."

"If you try, it'll kill Xander."

"It won't actually.  See, I asked Dawn."

"She's had power headaches?  The doctor said to keep him flat and not move him.  It's the same headache as Japan."

Zenigata shrugged.  "What do I care?" he asked happily.  "There's two death warrants out for him anyway.  I get credit, even if he's dead."  He pulled out a set of cuffs.  "Now, come on, Lupin.  You know how this is done.  I gotcha."

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed in defeat.  "And then I'll get away, you'll hop around and scream.  It's the same old story.  Besides, his warrants were taken too, weren't they?"

"Yes," Zenigata said happily, "but he killed those poor criminals.  Their people want him."

Lupin snorted.  "Considering they weren't dead when we left?  He didn't kill them.  We can prove he didn't kill them.  I administered the sleeping pills."  Zenigata's face fell.  "Yeah, so I know they didn't die from them.  One Xanax each wouldn't have done more than dope them for a few hours."

"No, they were stabbed," Vecchio said as he strolled in.  "Ambulance is here, boss."

"Good.  Lavelle's in the bedroom."  He looked around with a grimace. "I could have sworn I had a cleaning lady."

Vecchio snorted.  "Yeah, she died last year.  Sucks to be you.  Lavelle's dagger was in the guys' body."

"Xander doesn't carry a dagger."  Zenigata stiffened.  "He never has.  A sword sometimes but not a dagger.  Not anything more than a pocket knife.  He says he cuts himself on them so therefore he doesn't even try.  Besides *I* administered the Xanax.  They were only given one each."

"No, they were stabbed," Ray Kowalski said as he walked in, smirking at him. "Still, ya helped with a prison break."

"Whine.  They were torturing people who were innocent.  That makes them the bad guys.  The others all stayed."

"Except Fujiko," Zenigata said with a scowl.  "You're not getting out of this, Lupin."

"Hey, try.  Oh, Ray, he's got a reaction headache.  The doc in Kyoto said to keep him *flat* and give him a lot of fluids.  He was on some sort of migraine medicine with a sleeping additive.  We ran out back then."  He looked at Zenigata again, then at Ray, shrugging.  "I'll cop to the breaking into the prison and letting out the non-criminals, but we didn't kill them.  You can't even prove we killed them.  Lavelle doesn't carry a dagger and you know that."

"I do," Ray admitted. His boss gave him a hurt look. "What?  He doesn't!"

"Fine.  We can debate that with the prosecutors.  Go with Ray.  Lavelle's tricky.  He's gotten up after a bad accident and fought vampires."

"Sure, boss."  He went that way, going to help Ray cuff the other guy.  "Poor guy.  His head's got to be pounding for him not to even feel us in here.  Usually he's jumpy enough to start awake."

"You've actually gotten this close?"

"Yeah, I broke into his room one time during a con.  Last time I tried," Ray noted grimly.  "I woke up naked in the middle of a potted tree with a sign on me saying I was a bad, bad man who wanted to jump some of the little school girls.  I had the worst headache of my life, a suspicious taste in my mouth, and...."  He ducked as Xander sat up, backing away quickly, pulling Ray with him.  "No, Lavelle, we're putting you in an ambulance.  The cuffs are for the paramedic's safety," he said calmly.  "It's Ray.  We're taking you to the hospital.  Lupin's been taken by the boss, and you're in trouble too, but we're going to get you some good medicine."  Xander held his head, shaking it.  "Yeah, we are."

Xander pulled something off his neck and put it beside him then laid back down while it ticked.  He didn't care, as long as the light and the noise stopped.

Both Rays looked at the bomb, then at each other.  "Boss!" they yelled. "Bomb!"

"Xander!" Lupin snapped, coming in, one cuff already off.  "Sorry, he's unconscious again. You know better than to try and leave me like that!"  He swatted the firm butt.  "Now, give me the damn passcode!"  Xander hissed something.  "What was that? I don't speak snake," he said firmly, hands on his hips.  "Now, Lavelle!  Or no playing later."

"Shh!"

"Xander, bomb, bad things," Lupin pointed out in a gentler voice.  "Give me the passcode so we don't die?"

"Quit!" he whined, starting to cry, holding his head to stop the pounding.

"Fine, let me stop it for you," Lupin soothed, knocking him back out.  He looked at the bomb, trying all the numbers he knew Xander usually used.  It came up with his birthday so he tossed it out the window.  Then he looked at the other men, shaking his head. "This is so much worse than a migraine.  This is why he had medicine in Kyoto."  He left them there, going back to his cleaning now that his nemesis was tied up to a kitchen chair.  He took the time to call Jigen.  "Is your boy in bad shape too?  Xan's got another one of those headaches. No, he just tried to blow himself up so we'd leave him alone.  No, Pops, both Rays, so I'm guessing the Mountie and his dog are somewhere."

"Wolf," Ray Vecchio said as he came out. "I can still arrest you."

"Sure you can," Lupin said smugly.  "And you can be tied on top of your boss's lap and in case you didn't know he's slept with a guy in the past."

Ray shrugged. "So?  Fraser and I aren't quite that tight but gay men don't scare me.  After all, I'm standing this close to you," he sneered.  He pulled out his cuffs.  "Hang up the phone and turn around, Lupin."

"Oh, please."  He pulled a bundle from his pocket and threw it at Ray, making him sneeze as it exploded.  "You're so obvious!  You've got to be better to take us down!"  Someone coughed and he looked back, finding the Mountie behind him.  "See, like him."  He listened to the phone. "No, we're fine.  See you soon, Jigen."  He hung up and turned, grabbing the Mountie and tossing him onto the ground, kneeling on his back.  He growled at the wolf, getting laid back ears.  So he pulled his gun and pointed it at the hat.  "I can always cap him.  I am a bad guy."

Xander wobbled out of the bedroom and slapped everyone, including his lover and the wolf, until they all quit making noise.  "Enough!" he yelled, then he whimpered.  "Some of us are in pain," he said impatiently.  "I will kill whoever says the next word, even if it were my own child.  Now shut up!"  He flopped down on the couch, curling up again.  "Ow."  He squeezed his eyes shut. "Lupin, drugs?"

"I've got a call into a dealer," he said quickly, getting up off the floor.  He grabbed his gun before anyone else thought of it, then checked the wolf.  "You'll be fine, boy," he whispered.  "Stay there.  He's in pain."  He helped Ray K up.  "We like you enough to let you live," he whispered.  "Go, take Pops with you.  He meant it."  Ray scowled at him. "Hey, then stay, but stay silent and still."  Someone pounded on the door and he grimaced, tackling Xander before he could kill whoever had just sent the noise reverberating through his head.  "What!"  The landlord came in with a baggie. "Thanks, man.  His head's killing him.  How much?"

"Fifty American."  Lupin tossed over his wallet and got one of the pills into Xander's mouth, letting him swallow it.  He looked at the men, then at Lupin.  "Aren't they cops?"

"Yeah, but they're in danger so we're keeping Lavelle from killing them.  He's got a bad migraine."

"They make real drugs for that," he said, tossing back the wallet.  "You got problems with your cleaner?"

"Apparently.  We've also got a water line that's hooked up to the outflow of the washer."  The landlord sighed.  "Can you please fix that so I can clean this place?"

"Sure.  Get him out of here."  Lupin grinned and stood up, hefting Xander over his shoulder and out the door.  The cops weren't moving, even after he came back to get their bags and Xander's weapons stash from the dresser.  He waved as he left.  The Landlord looked at the cops.  "Good idea.  Lavelle is deadly and odd in the head.  If you didn't know that, you should figure that out.  Boy's gentle as sin with lovers, friends, and his kids, but let him get upset with you and you're history.   I've seen him pout a working girl to death and kill a few people.  That boy's not right in the head."

"That's why we want to stop him," Zenigata said, trying to get free.  "Get me undone!  We've got to catch him."

"Give it ten for the drugs to work.  They're heading up the road for Paris," Ray K said, looking at him.  "Personally, I'd rather not explode from Xander's headache, sir.  I may give my life in the line of fire, but not from that one."

"Are you afraid of him?"

"Aren't you?" Ray Vecchio asked.  "That's why you called us, sir.  We're good at what we do.  Benny?"

"Diefenbaker's fine," he noted, dusting himself off. "I agree, let the drugs work.  Lupin will relax then and we can easily overtake him on the road.  That would spare civilian lives."   He looked at Ray K.  "Where would they be heading on that road?  Since you seem to know Lavelle best."

"Barcelona.  There's a convention coming up," Ray noted smugly.  "He's going in costume and Lupin's going with him.  It's a smaller one but it's anime centric.  So I'm betting on Inuyasha to make a reappearance or him to go femme again."

"How does he do that?" Ray Vecchio asked.

"That choker's got something to do with it," Ray said with a shrug. "Haven't figured out more yet.  Those two compliment each other.  Lavelle's steady, he needs attention and love, and he's the rock of support.  Lupin's a bit more wild and makes him loosen up.  He needs that sort of loyalty from his people, and even Jigen could turn on him but Xander never would.  Lupin could shoot the guy and he'd let him.  It's the sort of guy he is," he said at the confused looks.  "Xan's like that.  If you're his buddy, you're his buddy for life.  Otherwise he wouldn't help Dawnie at all, or her family."  That got a nod from Zenigata.  "You know that guy we saw at the convention?  The one with the .45?  Think of a bad version of him, without the innocence.  That's Lavelle."

"It is," Zenigata admitted.  "Are you scared of him?"

"Yeah," Ray admitted.  "I've seen Xander fight firsthand.  The only way to take him out is long distance.  If you're close enough to hit, you're in deep.  If you're within shooting or sword lengths, he'll kill you.  Without a worry for it.  Even his convention buddies aren't immune probably.  Teddy might be, but not the rest of us.  He's said that when it comes to the final moment, one of us will win."  Myron came running in.  "They got away.  Xan's got that same headache from Kyoto.  He nearly blew us up with Lupin."

"He slapped Diefenbaker," Vecchio said grimly.

"Xander likes all kids and animals," Myron said, looking confused.

"It's a power headache.  He exceeded his maximum levels of power," Benny told him.  "I'm guessing however they got past the road block did it."

"Xander can use illusions.  With him down, the team's not nearly as invincible.  Goemon's with the kids and Bix.  Marcus and Jigen are elsewhere.  We can take the two of them in Barcelona, but only if we're really, really careful," Ray offered his boss.  "Lupin relaxes during them.  Xan'll still be in pain most likely.  So we can get them."

"Yeah, but we can't get more people in there," Myron noted.  "He knows everyone at the Paris and the Barcelona cons.  They all know him and who he really is.  Someone's bound to warn him if more cops file in."

"My, there's the five of us," Ray noted.  "We should be able to take down one relaxing crook and one who's in a lot of pain from his head."

"Fine, we'll do it that way," Zenigata agreed, finally getting free.  He stood up, rubbing his wrists.  "Are you sure?"

"Lupin wore jeans and t-shirts during the last convention, and that was while Xander didn't have his memories.  He was wearing sneakers.  Old, scuffed up sneakers."

Ray Vecchio nodded.  That sounded right to his experienced ears.  "For a man like that to dress down, he must have felt secure and like he was on vacation.  What about the kids?"

"We're in deep fucking shit if Ishi, Arsene, or Goemon show up," Ray assured him, walking him outside.  "They're the fandom boys in the house and Arsene likes to go watch the chaos.  Ishi is damn good.  Goemon is still himself.  And Arsene is every bit her father's daughter, both fathers.  She's another Janus prayer person.  She lives for the chaos and destruction."

"She's also skilled, knowledgeable about arms and tactics, and good enough to get past officers," Zenigata said grimly.

"She's eight," Benny pointed out.

"Nine," Ray K corrected.  "And we know, Benny."  He smirked at him.  "With six warrants for theft to her credit already, one during a convention last year."  He looked stunned.  "Word was that her dads chewed her a new one for doing it so young.  She's agreed ta stop but she'll do some minor shoplifting now and then to make sure she's in practice.  Now they're working on her mouth and her attitude.  Cusses like a sailor."  He smirked.  "Ishi's a younger Goemon, with only two-thirds of his father's skills but all his uncle's moves.  He's learned every single trick Xan could teach him with the sword and then learned off movies and anime like his uncle did.  The three main kids, Arsene, Ishi, and Melissa, are the next generation together.  There's two cop wannabes at the moment, plus the younger kids and Lotus, who's not made her choice.  She's good enough but she's a wiccan of sorts."

Benny blinked a few times.  "How do you know this?"

"I asked Xander during a convention," he admitted, opening the door to the car.  "Like all parents, he brags about his kids."  He smirked at his boss. "Don't he?"

"Him and Lupin both," Zenigata agreed, getting in to drive.  "What's the major problem?"

"Ishi, Goemon, and Arsene showing up," Myron pointed out as he got into the back with Ray.  "If any of them show up, we're fucked, sir."

"Language," Ray Vecchio warned.  "Some of us have delicate ears.  Like the wolf."

"Sorry, Ray.  It's true though.  Ishi has taken out people who were bothering his sister.  They did that at the market.  She stomped off in a snit and he followed her, finishing off a few of the people who tried her and she got away from.  She's not as fully trained but her magic is much stronger than Xander and Marcus put together.  She's the next Willow from what I've heard."

"She's what?" Zenigata asked.

"Ask Dawn, sir.  It's one of her sister's former friends and she'd know and be able to explain it better.  Let's just say that Lotus is powerful and leave it there.  Like even some of the nature spirits don't like to tangle with her.  None of the strange crap people like to deal with her or Xander, though a few of them will bow to him.  Lupin might as well rule the world of crime.  Jigen's Jigen and Goemon's Goemon.  Marcus is a lesser version of Goemon, with some odd skills too.  Xander's like water, smooth and flowing, always moving.  Marcus is like wood or stone, he's strong, still, calm, everlasting.  Think of him like an American or British Goemon.  The honor code and all, but not the full training as a samurai.  Ishi is like his father, only smooth like Xan is.  He's the best of both worlds, at least by the time he finishes training.  Arsene is her father's baby girl.  Exactly like him, down to thought patterns.  Melissa is her planner.  She's not much of a shooter, but she can when necessary.  She's the steadying influence to Arsene's wild tangents.  Arsene thinks something'll be fun and Melissa makes sure it'll be that way.  Ishi's their backup and Lotus on occasion.  They think Fred'll be a mini-Lavelle.  Sarah'll be out of the life due to her heart condition and Xander said somethin' cryptic about her and the kitsune."  Myron grunted.  "That leaves Alex, who's supposed to be a mini former Xander, his white knight side.  So said Ethan and all his prophecies.  Then there's the new ones, Yu and Kenji.  Kenji may be a sword guy, but for some reason I can't see Yu doing it.  He's gentle like."

"You know an awful lot about them," Ray said suspiciously.

Ray gave him a long look, then snorted. "I'll run down any criminal in any country, Vecchio.  You know that about me.  You've always know that about me, ever since we met.  I'm not backing down from the challenge, I'm going to work smarter this time.  The kids are an important part of this.  They'll mount a rescue effort and probably can pull one off, even without an adult present.  Melissa is that good."  Benny shuddered.  "So, yeah, working smarter instead of harder gets the job done with these guys.  The boss proved that with all the times he's nearly had him and then Lupin got slippery and got away.  Xander even gave a demonstration a few months back about how to get out of handcuffs and out of cells.  He's a slow lockpick, but he can do most things.  He admitted he's still learning that art.  He is, however, skilled in fighting.  He's been battlin' since high school."

"I can't imagine suburban California as a gang haven," Benny said, looking confused.

"Yo, boss, pull over for a minute at the next really dark bar you find," Ray ordered.  "It's time ta prove a point."

"Fine.  I've already had this lesson so I'll stay out here with the engine running."  He found a vampire bar and pulled over, letting the rest out.  "I pity that man," he sighed.  "It's a good point but they're going to razz him for years.  If Lavelle doesn't kill him."  He winced when the trunk popped open and a small body climbed out, getting out to stare at her. "Arsene!  That's dangerous!"

"Shut it, Gramps," she said coldly, slamming the trunk. "Someone had to back up daddy and I volunteered.  Now then, leave Uncle Ray alone. He's neat.  We like him.  We like you.  We kinda sorta like the other guys too, but you won't catch us.  We're the Emperors of crime.  Catching us is a lifetime's work and they don't have that long left either."

"I can arrest you now," he warned, pulling out his cuffs.

She snickered, then snorted and shook her head. "You never give up, do you?" she said fondly.  "I hope like hell you're around when I fully come out in my debut.  I'll make sure it's really special just for you."  She pinched him on the arm.  "Now, what prophecies about Alex?"  She tapped her foot.  "I've not learned to play nicely, Gramps.  I'd give."

"Ray said it, not me."

"Yay.  I'm sure your wife knows."

"She might but she's never told me."  He glared down at her and made a grab for her, so she did a wonderful spinning kick, getting him on the chest.  "Ow!"  He backed away rubbing his chest.  "You're a mean little girl."

"You bet," she sneered.  "I'm every bit my daddy Xander's daughter most of the time, and daddy Lupin's the rest of the time.   Then again, I'm here to extend an invitation to you since we're going to be going to school this fall.  That way you're not bored when the first thing the 'rents do is take a long vacation to a nude beach.  I offered to help them pick out a wet nurse for Yu, but daddy said it wasn't going to be necessary."  She shrugged then snickered as Vecchio backed out of the bar.  "Ooh, did the big, bad vampires scare you?" she cooed, jogging past him. "Hi, guys!" she said happily, waving at them.  "Daddy Lavelle said that he'll be seeing you guys soon."  The room mostly emptied, all the vampires running for the exits.  A few of them looked really confused though. "He's the consort they carved the marks into," she explained. "They can kill you on sight.  He can literally walk through hell and kill everyone."  Those demons fled as well, leaving a few humans who had been food, with their permission or not.  "Anyone else?"  One demon appeared in a gout of flame, staring at her in shock.  "Hey, Torrence.  Aren't you so cute!"  She squealed as she ran over to hug his seven-foot body of pure muscles. "You're just an adorable little fluffy demon kitten.  Even my little Lupin the Fifth would adore you!"  She pinched him again then strolled out with the wolf.  "So, wolf, wanna meet my baby?"  She pulled her out, letting him sniff her. "Isn't he cute," she cooed.  The wolf barked.

"What are you doing to his familiar?" Lotus asked as she appeared out of thin air.

"I'm showing off my little Lupin the Fifth.  That way they can get along if something happens."  She nuzzled her baby, then let it sit on her shoulder under her hair.  "Torrence just showed up."

"Ooh!" she squealed, heading inside to hug him as well.  "Hi, big purple guy."  She pinched him and grinned at him.  "Daddy's got one of those reaction headaches.  Is there anything better than the medicine?"

"Heroin takes it away," he offered with a shrug, "but we've heard that's not good for humans."  She shook her head.  "Then perhaps some Water of Life?  Ethan may have some of that if you ask and plead long enough for Janus to give him a break from teaching Rupert his place on top of the altar."  Lotus blushed, but Arsene snickered. "Sorry, but Janus has taken a ...personal interest in how Rupert's trained."  He shrugged.  "Probably the medicine is the best bet.  Or a healer."

"That's a good idea.  Thanks, man," Arsene agreed.  "Come on, Lupin the Fifth, let's find ourselves a healer for the family.  The 'rents are really old anyway, they could probably use one."

Ray K's eyes bugged out and he spluttered, it was only Zenigata who could speak.  "Lupin the Fifth?" Zenigata choked.  "You're much too young!"

She moved some of her hair, exposing her baby.  "This is Lupin the Fifth.  Why would I want a kid?  We're all insane."  She strolled off, taking Lotus with her once she had gotten something from the demon's back for him.  "Maybe Homer will know," she told Lotus.

"Maybe.  I've been wanting to meet him.  He seems very nice."

"He did."

***

Lotus boldly walked into the bar and sat down next to the man at the long wooden counter.  The bartender opened his mouth so she glared at him.  "Yes, I'm allowed in here.  My sister's parking the car.  We're midgets, all right?"  He backed off, but didn't even bring her a soda.

Arsene strolled in and a few people gaped, so she grinned and waved, signing one autograph on the way.  She sat on the man's other side.  "Homer Peacekeeper."

He finished his drink before looking at them.  "Who are you?"

"Lupin the Fourth," she said smoothly, holding out a hand.  "I'm looking for help to find someone for my stepfather, Lavelle."

He shook her hand, then Lotus's.  "You're a Goemon so you must be Lotus?"  She nodded, smiling at him. "This is not the place for children."

"Yes, because I'm *so* childlike.  Please."  Arsene grinned at the bartender.  "Can my sister and I have a soda?"

"No."

"Fine, be that way, I'll go release the guys who were pulling on ski masks to rob the place."  He quickly brought them sodas.  "Thanks, love."  She grinned at him, taking a long sip before looking at Homer.  "So, we need a healer of some sort or another.  The stepfather has a wicked headache from overuse of his powers. He threatened to blow us up if we made any noise and he nearly blew up my dad and some cops just to make it stop.  We'd actually like to find one for the whole family, but Fihad seems to have disappeared."

"Someone even slightly legitimate or with legitimate connections would be for the best," Lotus offered.  "Arsene's out of her Ritalin as well.  We'd like them to be the family healer for things like accidents, gunshot wounds, times when daddy got injured fighting demons again.  Little things like that, and if they can help me learn that art as well it'd be a great bonus."

Homer Peacekeeper let out a few quiet chuckles. "You don't ask much, do you?"

"Well, no," Arsene said mildly, pouting a bit.  "We're not asking for a thief to join the group.  Maybe an accessory position, like an assistant or something, or a second nanny at times, but only if they felt they had to stay in that close of contact with the family."  She grinned at him, leaning against his massive arm.  "Let's face it, Daddy Lavelle gets into a lot of trouble and needs that sort of person around."

"Especially after us older children start school," Lotus noted.  "Then they'll be more free to pull jobs again."

"In addition to the normal teenage problems that you and Ishi are starting to have with your balance," Arsene added.

"Enough, children.  There is one I know of.  I'll send for him on your behalf.  Where are you two staying?"

"Wherever we can get in for the night.  Daddy and Daddy Lavelle are headed for somewhere quiet."

"Do they know where you are?" an American voice asked quietly.

Lotus looked at him and grinned.  "Bastian Morales.  A pleasure to meet you, sir."

"How did you know who I am?"

"It's an odd vision of a possible other timeline," she said with a shrug.  "You sometimes helped our stepfather Lavelle to stop some wicked injustices."

"You're who?" he asked.

"Lotus Goemon and Lupin the Fourth," she said, waving at Arsene, who waved.   He blinked a few times.  "We're here asking Homer to help us find a healer for the family to depend on, hopefully one who can ease an overuse headache."

Bastian sat down, staring at them.  "You're little kids."

"Yes, we are," Lupin agreed with a grin. "But very talented little kids.  I'm already a great thief in my own right."  She put the bartender's silver dagger on the bartop when he looked at her.  "I didn't want the weapons out of my sight," she said with a smirk.  "I'm not that uncareful."  She looked at the two adults again.  "Please, Peacekeeper?"

"I will find one for you," he agreed.  "You probably need one more than most.  Bastian, were we to meet today?"

"We were, but Lavelle was supposed to come here as well."

Lotus dug something out of her pocket and handed it over. "He's presently living the sedated lifestyle.  The headaches are so bad he nearly blew himself and Lupin's dad up to make the cops trying to arrest them stop chatting.  Her father was working on that last night and I figured I'd save him the trouble, just in case."

Bastian opened it, snorting at the opening.  "He knew one of you would bring this to us.  It's the three things he could find on Xander's laptop.  Are any of these what he called you about?" he asked, handing it to Homer.  Who read it and shook his head.  "That's fine. Where is he, girls? That way we can get into the laptop ourselves?"

"They're in Barcelona, just not at the convention hotel.  They're in the one that the royalty likes to stay at because it's so quiet."

"That's not far from here," Homer noted, standing up.  "Come, girls, we'll drive you there."

"Sure.  Beats having to hire a driver all the time," Arsene agreed, finishing her soda.  "Don't you want the rest of yours, Lotus?"

Lotus put some money down on the bar.  "No, go ahead and have it.  Maybe it'll help the bouncing problem."  Arsene gulped it for her and they went off with the two operatives of their other father.

***

Arsene walked up to the check in desk and looked up at the snotty looking man.  "Where's my father?"

"Who is your father?" he asked snidely.

"Lupin the Third."

"He's ordered us not to disturb him."

She chuckled.  "Dude, he's my dad.  I'm sure he'd be more pissed if you didn't call up there right this moment."  He glared at her. "Fine.  Lotus?"  Lotus knocked him out so she climbed up onto the counter and over it, checking the computer for a room number, which she called.  "Dad, I'm back, and we've brought Bastian and Homer Peacekeeper.  Yeah, in the lobby.  No, the snotty man gave us shit so I had Lotus knock him out.  Thanks."  She hung up and walked around the counter since the door release was on this side.  She rejoined the party.  "Dad's on his way down.  He had to put on shoes."

"Fine," Bastian agreed, smirking at them.  "You two are something else.  Ever think of being spies?"

"I always assumed it was part of the calling at times," Arsene told him.

"I'm still considering my options.  I'm a bit sensitive," Lotus told him.   Homer walked away to use a payphone, coming back a moment later.  "Did you call the healer?"

"I did.  He can home in on me to come here."

"Cool," Arsene agreed, smirking at her father as he came off the elevator. "Hi, daddy."

"Hello, dear, you're grounded," he said fondly.  "I told you not to leave the rest of them.  You left Goemon with only Ishi to protect him."

She snorted.  "They were only being hounded by women, dad.  They can handle that."  She waved at hand at the adults.  "These are the two who escorted us back.  They need into the laptop."

"I tried," Lupin offered.

Bastian grinned.  "It's all right. Two of them were the codes of who to call in and where to meet.  The other wasn't something that he'd normally call us for.  Can we look in his laptop?"

"Sure.  It's upstairs, just be very quiet.  Xander's having another rough hour."  He led them back to the elevator.  "Lotus, are you all right?"

"Just fine, Uncle Lupin," she said brightly.  "Thinking, that's all."

"As long as you're fine," Lupin said happily.  He let them into the suite.  "The laptop's on the desk in the living room.  Girls, do not bother Xander."

"Of course not," Lotus said, rolling her eyes.  "We do have some sense, Uncle."

"Shoot, I wanted a hug."

Someone tapped on the door so Lupin answered it, staring at the man on the other side in shock.  "Who are you?"

Homer looked back.  "Come in.  The hurting person's in the bedroom.  An overuse headache, Lupin?"

"Yeah, he created a really strong illusion after being grazed by a bullet."

"Very well," the man in black with black hair noted.  "Let me look him over."

Arsene looked at him.  "You look like a Snape."  The man stopped to stare at her. "Are you from a world with an Iggy?"

He shook his head.  "Though I have heard of him when I was sent to that blasted bar," he said grimly.  "You know of that place?"

"Yeah, and Auntie Dawn might be able to send you back, but she's busy puking up her guts right now with the new baby."

"We'll send you to her as soon as Xander's better," Lupin promised.

"Actually, dad, I was thinking that we could use a family healer," Arsene offered casually.  "Because things like this do happen and Fihad seems to be gone."

"That's a good idea but you're still grounded," Lupin assured her with a grin.  "This way, please."  He led the way into the bedroom, leaning down to whisper next to Xander's ear.  "Homer and Bastian are here to look at your laptop."  That got a moan.  "Plus there's a healer here to look you over.  All right?"  Xander nodded, eyes squeezed tightly shut.  "Thanks, love."  He backed out and went to see if they could explain this program to him.

Xander blinked at the man over him.  "Wow, you look just like a Snape."  The man nodded.  "Cool.  Potion for the headache that won't knock me out?"

"We'll see.  If it's overuse it will be harder to cure."

"I've tried to add more power but it burns."

"Then you've emptied your reserves and it would take a few days for that part to heal."

"It's been a week."

"Let me look."  He examined the young man carefully, taking note of the demonic taint that infused him, and the scars that his examination showed.  Someone had mistreated the boy horribly in his life.  He cast a general healing spell and watched as it bounced off.  So he pulled out a book with the most unusual healing spells in them, from his personal collection of course, and worked on him from in there.  Xander soon was pain free but weak.  "That should solve most of it, but you'll need to rest."

Xander nodded.  "Thank you.  I'll nap in a few minutes."  He slid out of the bed so he could wobble into the next room and whisper in Bastian's ear.  "That's why I called you two specifically."  Bastian gave him a long look.  "I thought you two might be the most interested in this one and it has the potential for going very wrong."

"Then we'll watch the wedding."  He steered Xander back into the bedroom.  "Sleep so your lover can have you later."

"It's probably going to be a few days, and I accept that," Lupin said dryly.  "Go back to bed, Xan."  Xander nodded and padded back to his bed, curling up again.  This was much nicer so he sighed in relief before drifting off.

Snape walked out with a potion in his hand, handing it to Lupin.  "For when he wakes in the morning.  That should take care of some of the burnout he's feeling."  He looked at him.  "You do know one who can help me back to my own world?"

"Or two or three," Lotus admitted.  "One's a chaos sorcerer, one's the Key.  Plus Ethan's got a bunch of friends he can usually blackmail into helping him."

"The problem being that Ethan is possessed at the moment by Janus to facilitate Rupert's training, and that Dawn is presently in the middle of morning sickness," Bastian noted.  Snape nodded slowly.  "So it may still take a bit but those two working together are your best bet."

"Even should it take a year, that would be fine," Snape agreed.  "I'm sure some sort of temporal weave could be added to the spells."

"Probably," Lotus agreed.  "We had to do that when we jumped timelines."  Arsene nodded.  "Uncle Lupin, can he stay at the main hideout so I can learn from him?  My herbology stuff is still kinda confusing."  Snape looked down at her.  "I'm a nature witch in training.  Not at all like your kind, but definitely a witch."  She floated over Arsene's stolen house keys.  "Those are Uncle Jigen's."

"The housekeeper wouldn't mind and the main hideout is pretty and quiet when we're not all there," Lupin admitted.  "That would save you on funds and you'd only be asked to heal us when necessary and deal with Lotus' education.  I know her father hates Ethan."

"Yeah, dad doesn't exactly want me to become the next chaos witch.  Technically, I've been blessed by a Japanese order that's sorta like Druidism."

Snape nodded once.  "That would be acceptable.  I'm not a true healer, but potions can fix most things."

"Most of the things we get into only take a bandage," Arsene offered.  "Gunshot grazes, maybe an odd wound or two from training.  Unless Ishi slips again with his dad's sword and then it'll take off his hand this time."  Lotus shivered.  "So, basically it'd be an easy job and you could teach Lotus how to deal with plants."

"Yeah, the Order's teacher sent me a whole list of plants I'm supposed to find and try to grow, but we keep moving so I'll have to move myself back and forth to a garden to deal with them."

"I said you could have a spot at the main hideout and you could stay there if you wanted," Lupin reminded her.  "Xander said moving yourself that way constantly is a bad thing.  You don't want to end up being a garden gnome, do you?"

"Well, no," she admitted.  "Won't dad be upset?"

"No.  You're grounded anyway," Arsene pointed out.

"True.  Then that would be fine," she agreed.  "If you can get daddy to agree."

"He'll agree, I know he will," Lupin assured her.  "Go for it, kiddo.  Create a portal instead of the moving thing."

"Yes, sir."  She concentrated really hard on her room, getting a small portal.  "Poo!  I never get it big enough on the first try."  Arsene hugged her and she drew energy off her to make it bigger, grinning at her success.  "Now all I have to do is to remove the barrier and lay them over the boundaries," she said as she did it, and viola, the portal was open.  She led the teacher back across it, watching as he walked across.  "Sorry, I keep forgetting some people are taller than me."

"That's fine.  It is a good effort.  Now decreate it."  She canceled it and he looked down at her. "That was not what I meant."

"Yeah, but each and every time I try to retract it, I get a sucking void spot for about an hour.  I don't know why and no one can tell me."

He straightened up.  "Then we'll start back at the beginning, then work on your herbology and potions lessons."

"Yes, sir."  She followed him upstairs.  "How about this one?" she said, opening the last door on the third floor.  "Eww, never mind.  Hasn't been cleaned in years."  She led him back downstairs, giving him a room on the bottom floor, which was meant for the severely injured who couldn't climb the stairs.  "Bertina, it's Lotus, and I've brought a teacher," she called. "Daddy Lupin said it was fine."

"That's nice."  She walked in, wiping off her hands.  She squeaked and pointed.  "You're an actor!"

"No, I'm a Snape," he said grimly.  "I've been accused of that before."

"It's a cross-realmal thing," Lotus assured her.  "We're hooking him up with Uncle E and Auntie Dawnie as soon as they're normal beings again.  Until then, I'm learning from him."

"Fine," she agreed.  "We usually don't set out real meals unless the whole family's here, so feel free to raid the kitchen or to ask for something around those times.  I usually make myself something small if you wanted to join me.  Mistress Lotus, that one patch of ground is already tilled and waiting on you.  I had the gardeners do it."

"Thanks."  She beamed and hugged the woman. "You're the bestest housekeeper a group of thieves could ever want."  She let her go and led her teacher up to the room they used to work in.  "This is the room Uncle Lupin said we could use for magic practice.  Uncle Marcus is also chaos incarnate sometimes and Uncle Xander was tainted by the demon who hurt him a lot.  So they can't really teach me much but Uncle Marcus is teaching me the ritual versions of magic."

"I can continue with that," he admitted.  "Most of the time a full ritual isn't necessary."

"Oh, I know.  I'm thinking I'm doing more on-the-run casting than anything."  He scowled at that.  "Sorry, but sometimes it's necessary."

"It may be, but your personal energy fields are not as extensive as you believe.  They never are.  Sit.  We shall begin with the most basics of manipulation."  She obediently pulled over pillows for them and sat down across from him to work with him.  She was a bright student who wanted to learn, a change in his life.  Too bad most of his students weren't like that, not even the Slytherins he had just taken over.  He couldn't wait until he got some decent students, but Draco was only four at the moment.

***

Ray looked around the convention's first day, then at Misty, noticing the badges still on her desk. "They're not coming?"

"No, Lupin's in town.  He popped over yesterday to get some DVD's for Xan, but he's still got a bad headache so they're running a few hours late.  Maybe by tomorrow."  She grinned at Myron, giving him a hug.  "Hey, babe.  We love you guys.  Are we going to have a shootout?"  Myron shrugged, smirking at her.  "Fine.  If you can manage it, remember there's little kids around."  She looked at the Mountie, then at Vecchio.  "First timers?"  They nodded.  "Well, just stick with these two and it'll be just fine."  She grinned at them.  "This is also where I should warn you that Goemon and Marcus are both here.  Marcus wanted to test the waters and Goemon is looking for a birthday present for his son, who is presently grounded for sneaking his sword out again."  Ray shivered.  "Yeah, so we're giving you fair warning."  She sat down and wrote out badges for the others, handing them over.  "We'll include you under Ray and My's admittance packages.  They're nice that way."  She smiled at the dog, then at the handler.  "Unless he's in a harness, he can't come in.  We've got someone who's *majorly* allergic to any pets.  Arsene's had that same problem with Lupin the Fifth.  Well, that and the ferret likes to try and steal people's popcorn."

"He'll go upstairs for now," Benny promised.  "Thank you for the warnings, ma'am."

"Honey, I'm a Misty, not a ma'am.  Ma'ams are older women who are married and Myron there won't even let me date and woo his pretty butt."  Myron blushed, heading into the convention.  She stopped Zenigata, giving him a long look. "I swear to you that if one of your people hit one of the kids, Lavelle will smash you into your component atoms.  He's done it in the past.  And in a past that's not ours."  He gaped.  "Yes, some of us did get that flash of bright headache when they transferred in.  Do not take them in the main room, Zenigata.  Not unless you want your newest one to be an orphan."  He nodded, following his men inside.  She grinned at the next man coming past her, Marcus.  "Hey, Marc?"  He stopped to kiss her on the cheek.  "Thanks, babe, but you're a bit too nice boy for my tastes.  I was gonna warn you that Ray K just showed up."

"Oh, wonderful," he said, staying smiling.  "Then I suppose we'll see, won't we."  He winked and headed inside anyway.

"An even playing field is all well and good," she reminded herself.

***

Lupin walked Xander into the convention late that night, grinning at Misty.  "Did you wait up for us?" he teased.

She smirked at him.  "Hell yes, I'm still waiting for you to give up on Xan so I can have a shot at him, even for six weeks."

"Six weeks of Xander-lovin' is more than enough to addict you, dear," Xander said smugly, winking at her.  "Any of our crew in?"

"Marcus is here.  Goemon's come and gone with a present for Ishi.  They may be back in the morning, we're not sure yet.  Ishi snuck his sword so he's grounded at the moment, but that one girl who likes to follow him around pleaded and begged, got down on her knees begged, for Goemon to let him come and ground him afterwards.  Apparently her mother thinks she only likes bad boys."  Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "Ray's here."

"Yay," Xander said with a grin.  "I've already had that warning from a few sources.  Is Jonas around?"

"Oh, yeah, leering at the school girls."

"Thanks.  I've finally got that stupid Chronicle done so I'm handing it over.  Anything that comes later I'll send separately."  He paid his fees and took their badges, looking down at himself.  "Do I look all right?  I know I'm not in costume yet."

"They're upstairs in your room."

"Cool."  Xander walked over to the desk and checked them in, taking the keys to go change.  Lupin stalked him to change himself, then they came downstairs as Dick Tracy and a school girl.  "How did I let you talk me into this again?"

"Because you know I'm missing my women?" he suggested.

"Good point, but I'm still having odd feelings."

"Hey, not asking for more than maybe a few days a month in female form for a few hours," Lupin offered.  "Not jobs, nothing else."

"As long as we're agreed on the industrial strength condom coming between us," Xander said dryly.

"Sure, Xander, whatever you want," he agreed quickly.  He took her hand and kissed the back of it.  "Besides, now you're young enough to be one of those innocent little girls," he said with a leer.

"Yeah, I guess.  But next one I get to be male and drag you into a better costume."

"Sure, babe, anything you want," he agreed happily.  "I won't even ask you to sleep like that."

"Good thing, too.  I can't sleep on my tits and that means I can't sleep on top of you."  She pinched him on the arm as she strolled past with a wink to Misty.

"X...Xan?" she stuttered. The girl nodded with a smug little smirk.  "Damn it, I want to know how to do that!"  Lupin leaned down to whisper in her ear.  "Shoot.  Will it work for me?"  He shrugged. "Can I try it on?"

"Sure, babe, but it's meant to change genders."

"So?  I've always wondered why men were like they were."

"Then come see us at the end of the convention if we're here."  He followed more slowly, going to find his dame.  He ran into Zenigata first and skirted around him, heading on to where he could hear squealing going on.  Only his dame made those noises and they should all be for him.

Xander had found Benny and had squealed and latched herself onto his arm to coo up at him, making him blush as red as his uniform was.  She was presently playing with his lariat and hitting on him badly.  She grinned at Ray as he walked up.  "Ooh, and another strong man," she cooed, smirking at him.  "Friends?"

Even Vecchio had to blush at this one.  The girl was nearly indecently exposed in that costume.  She was rubbing herself against Benny's hand and she was smirking at him like she was going to eat him too.  "Yeah, we're friends, but can you let my buddy go?" he said finally.

Ray K frowned, then suddenly smirked and strolled over, grabbing Xander to kiss her hard.  "Hey, Xan," he said softly, pinching her on the nose. "You're in so deep," he said smugly.

"If you try anything in here, Ray, I'm going to be forced to end your brilliant career.  Remember, I'm not the most helpless of women."  She kissed him again and he fell to his knees.  "Oh, Dickie," she called, waving at him. "Wait for me!  I love a man in a trenchcoat."  She trotted after him, stopping at Jonas to hand him the book.  "For your reading pleasure," she said with a smirk before disappearing.

"Damn it, he's went femme this time!" Jonas said angrily.  "How does he do that!  Those have got to be real!"

Teddy patted him on the back. "It's the choker, man.  We don't know anything else but we've figured out it's the choker."  He looked at the three cops, nudging the others to look, then clap. "So, Ray, now that you've felt the power of Xander, feel better?"

Ray got up with a growl to stalk that man...woman...whatever he was this moment.  He found her in a clinch with Dick Tracy and paused, then rolled his eye.  "I don't know why you came as a good guy, Lupin, you can't pull it off."

Lupin came up for air and looked at him, blinking a few times until the words registered.  "Because I've always wanted to be a brawler.  Instead I'm a lover."  He strolled his baby on, watching as she pinched Ray.  "Now, now, mine and only mine, babe.  No others or else I won't be giving you back that ring of yours."  She pouted at him so he pulled it out, sliding it back onto her finger.  "Mine?"

"Yours," she squealed, hugging him and kissing him again. Someone coughed so she waved her hand with her wedding ring on it.

"Never mind, he just popped the question. Next time, find a darker corner, guys."  The person did a doubletake, then groaned.  "No, Lupin, we like you too much to have Xander kill you!"

Xander pulled off to look at him, grinning at him.  "I am Xander."  The guy gaped and he grinned.  "Sometimes I'm just a different Xander."  He took his baby with him around to show off his ring to all his buddies.  They hadn't seen it before and he wanted to show it off.

Zenigata looked at Ray K.  "A word of advise on obsessions, Ray.  They only grow over time."  He stalked after Lupin, knowing he wasn't going to be able to catch him while there were still people around.

"I'm not growing an obsession!" Ray called after him.

"Damn, kid, you weren't kidding," Ray Vecchio said faintly as he walked up to him.  "No wonder you only watch for the perfect moment."  He shook his head, looking at him again.  "Is he always like that?"

"Oh, yeah," he said with a grimace.  "And more.  Yo, Benny, flank them.  Let's herd 'em like elk or something."

"Of course, Ray."  He took Myron and together they flanked the pair.  The two Rays stalked after them, making sure that the guys were always moving away from them toward an open ballroom without a lot of people in it.

Ishi walked in and his girlfriend pounced him, kissing him hard.  "Amanda!" he said, smiling at her. "I've missed you too."  He shook her mother's hand.  "Hello.  I'm Ishi."

"I had hopes of that when she kissed you that way."  She looked around. "No escort?"

"He's upstairs dropping off our things and I've got a few uncles in the convention."

"Yeah, Lupin's here as Dick Tracy and he just proposed to some little school girl," Amanda said excitedly.   "Doesn't he think Xander will be upset?"

Ishi grinned.  "That's a family secret but she's my auntie anyway.  She just hasn't been able to wear her ring in a bit.  Come on so we can look around.  I'll do the costume stuff tonight."  She hugged herself up to his side and put his arm around her shoulders then walked him off.  Ishi waved at Jonas, Paul, and Teddy.  "Hey, guys.  Dad's upstairs."

"That's good.  Hands above the waist, young man," Teddy ordered, smirking at him.  Ishi's hands were both above that line so he grinned.  "Good job.  Marcus is over by the refreshments section and the others are being plagued by cops.  The whole team minus the wolf."

"I saw him in the lobby," Ishi admitted. He kissed Amanda gently and handed her over. "I'm going to see if I can help Uncle Lupin, you stay here for just a moment and I'll be right back."  He trotted off before she could do more than start a pout, heading through the crowds. He saw the cops, and Myron's hair, so he followed them stealthily, sliding into the room before the door was shut.  He considered his sword, then the gun at his back, then the men around him.  He decided on a lesser weapon this time. Using his sword would get him sweaty and his woman wouldn't like that.  He pulled it quickly and snapped off four quick shots, each to a leg or an arm, making all the cops scream.  "Sometimes the truest test of a master is that he doesn't use his best weapon because it's overkill or it's unworthy of the weapon to only wound," he told Ray K when he turned to point his gun at him.

"Do not try.  I like you, but really.  My girl will get a bit upset at me for killing you."  Ray's gun went limp in his hand as he gaped at him.  "Yes, me.  I did take those lessons as well.  I'm a better shot than Lupin and Jigen, the next generations.  Way to go, Uncle Lupin.  Um, Uncle Xan?  The skirt's a bit short.  I can see the lack of panties and the thong."  She tugged it down.  "Much better.  Dad's upstairs and I left my lady pouting.  Have fun all."  He headed back, putting the gun back up.  He gathered his girlfriend and winked at Paul.  "They seem to have sprouted leg or arm injuries, and someone *might* want to tend to them.  If Uncle Ray doesn't pull his head outta his butt again."  He walked his girl on, taking her to get something to eat.  "I know I'm hungry, want some hotdogs?"

"Sure, Ishi.  Are you okay?"

"Oh, yeah, I just made my feelings known," he promised. He winked at her mother.  "I promise I'm not a bad influence on her, I have no designs on her virginity, and I'm not looking to be your new son-in-law at this moment in time."  She nodded, giving him a long look.  "Trust me, it's not what you think."  He got them out of the way of the ambulance crews, then led them on to buy lunch.  His allowance could go for this.  He could always talk his Uncles out of some extra money later on.

In the ballroom, Lupin had pulled Xander back into the darkest shadows.  "Did you know Ishi was that good?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, Jigen and I both made sure of it.  Goemon knows he can shoot."  She kissed him. "Let's go back out there?"

"Only if I get to put you in a slightly less naughty skirt, Xan."  She unrolled the top of it, lowering it a bit more.  "Thank you.  Now I can't see the edge of your pert little butt."  They walked out another exit heading back into the main convention area, passing by Misty again.  She held up a finger.  "Wasn't us, it was Ishi," he noted quietly.  "They took him away from his girlfriend."  He smirked.  "My baby's trained him very well."

"Goemon just walked in. He's looking for him."

"Food probably," Xander offered.  "Am I okay?"

"You're more decent now," she admitted.  "One less turn of the skirt please."  He unrolled another turn and she nodded. "Better, thank you, Xander.  Later tonight, after all the kids are in bed."  He smirked and winked, letting her see the ring.  "Ooh, that's so you!  I'm jealous.  I need a man."

"You could date Marcus.  He's presently doing four people and it's upsetting his training," Lupin offered.  "Or Goemon's kinda free, but he doesn't believe in divorce."

"Or, hey, you could date Bix," she offered.  "It'd be a nice thing and you two get along well enough."

"Naughty, Xander," she said, swatting at him.  "Go play."

"Fine, just giving options," she said happily, heading inside with her mate.  Goemon gave them an odd look when they ran into him.  "Ishi should probably be near the food."

"I've noticed, as well as the stink around him."

"He did it before we could react," Lupin said grimly.  "Wounds, all of them."  Goemon looked impressed.  "Definitely need to talk to your son with you this time."

"He doesn't like it but he sees it as a necessity sometimes," Xander assured them.  "Jigen and I both noticed that it didn't affect him so we sat him down to talk to him.  That's why we worked him up to being able to wound them."  Goemon relaxed a bit.  "C'mon.  I wanna meet the girlfriend."

"I have.  She seems quite nice," Goemon offered.  "Plus she goes to the same school."   He noticed the ring and grunted. "It's about time."

"Yeah, well, I had to wait a few days," Lupin said smugly.  A man in all black with a stuffed raven on his shoulder stopped them by taking up most of the aisle.  "Hey, Vicious."

Vicious turned and gave him a look.  "A good guy, Lupin?"

"I got stuck at the last moment," he said with a shrug.  "So I decided I'd rather be a fighter than a lover for a bit since I've got the lover part down so well."

Vicious looked at the young girl, then at Lupin.  "She'd better be over age."

"I am," Xander assured him.  "The same as when I didn't have my memories.  He wanted to be on the arm of a woman this time."

"You're not quite old enough to register as 'woman', dear."  He glared at her, then noticed the choker.  "Xander?"  She nodded, smirking at him.  "Damn it!  Hey, you're not in the costume contest though!" he decided happily.

"If he wanted, I could stay in female form and just go upstairs for my female warrior costume," she offered smugly.  "It's a killer outfit."

"That means I can go as Jett, or as Joxer," Lupin said happily.

"Or as Jace," Goemon noted dryly.  Lupin glared at him so he raised an eyebrow.  "It does fit on occasion."  He took Xander's arm.  "Since you are a Japanese school girl."  He walked her on, taking her to find his son.  "Son," he said when he found him.  Ishi jumped, then gave his father a guilty look.  "Hmm.  Were you a bother?"

"No, he's been very polite," the mother assured him.  "Scary though he can be."

"They were all wounds.  We've trained him well," Xander assured her.  "Plus his father's trained him to be a shy young man who can't seem to not blush when a pretty girl looks at him."

"Auntie, could you maybe pull that skirt back down?" he pleaded.  "I don't like you that way but I'm unable to stop staring."

She rolled her eyes.  "Fine, let me go change into my warrior woman costume."  She strolled off, taking Misty.  "I need an opinion on the legality of a costume."

"Sure, Xan."  She followed her up to the room, smiling at the outfit that she brought out.  "Wow.  That's so Heavy Metal."

"Isn't it though?" she asked with a grin.  "Let me slip into it, so we can make it legal enough for the convention."  She went into the bathroom to change, and to change her form just a bit so she was a bit smaller chested, since this outfit wouldn't do with that big of a chest.  She couldn't get it all the way off since Lupin had put it on but she could make a few subtle changes.  She came out in it and Misty gaped so she looked down.  "Bad?"

"Um, penis," she said, pointing at it.  She blushed and went to fix that as well, coming back a moment later.  "Better," she squeaked.  She looked at the top.  "Not quite legal, Xander."  She watched while she fiddled with the choker, then something clicked and she groaned.  "What?"

"It's locked now.  Only Lupin can take it off me."  She looked up.  "Yes, Janus?"  A voice whispered through her mind, telling her why he wanted another child.  "I'm not giving birth to Joxer or Jett, thank you."

"Honey, they're a show," Misty pointed out.  Xander held up a finger.  "Okay.  I'm sure you'll explain it."

Xander listened.  "Hey, if it happens, it does, but I don't want to force it and I don't want more.  We have a spare, put Ethan into it."  He shook his head. "Sorry, Janus has taken a proprietary interest in my sex life.  He needs two more kids so one of his favorites can be reborn."  He shrugged.  "So I'm stuck in this form.  Is this legal?"

"Not unless you can do something about the top not being quite so showing."

She got a scarf and carefully tucked it around her breasts to pad them a bit, and the extra material gathered on top.  "How's that?"

"Better," she agreed.  "I like that though.  Got a sword?"

"I can't carry a katana with this outfit, but I do have a sword," she offered, picking it up.  She strapped it onto her back, the strap going between her breasts.  "There, good enough?"

"Shoes?"  Sandals were found and laced up her legs.   "I can consider that legal enough," she agreed, leading the way back downstairs.  Lupin was lounging in the entry, manning her table for her, so she pinched him.  "Look behind me."  She got out of his way, so he could fall to his knees to worship the body.  "She also got a voices-in-the-head call you might want to talk about."

"Yeah, I heard.  Janus wanted more kids so his favorite priestess could be reborn," he repeated.  He crawled over to his woman, nuzzling her legs.  "Oh, my God," he whispered, looking up in awe.  "I want you here and now, Xan."

She smiled at him.  "That's Amazon to you, man."

"Of course."  He stood up and straightened out his tie and jacket, then his hat.  "May this humble man escort you around to slavishly pay for everything for you?"

"As long as you can find the offspring first.  He needs to be warned.  I'm the backup plan to get the kids.  I suggested we put Ethan into the spare choker."  Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "He'd do it very well."  She strode in and Jonas saw her first, squeaking in horror. "What?" she asked innocently.  "Surely such a Watcher as yourself has heard of us Amazons?"

"I have," he said, starting to drool.  "May I offer my services to your tribe's continuance, m'lady?"

Teddy looked then groaned and shook his head. "I seriously doubt Xander will let you touch her, Jonas."

"Xander?"

"Yeah?" she asked smugly, smirking at him.  She looked around.  "Goemon and the kids?"

"Food court," they said in unison, Jonas wiping off his mouth.  "I borrowed Misty, it's legal."

"Barely," Teddy snorted.  "Pull up the scarf a bit, Xan."  She adjusted it a bit, then the leather and chainmail holding up her breasts.  "Better.  Thank you."  He smacked Jonas unsubtlely, both of them watching as Xander strode off with Lupin leaving a drool trail behind him.  "Why do I think their sex life is never boring?"

"Gods, a woman like that would kill me," Jonas hissed. "But I'd gladly accept that fate."

The others of their group burst out laughing, it was good to see Jonas brought down a bit in the ego department.

Xander walked up to Ishi, looking down at him.  "Nephew."  He looked up and gaped.  "You are to report to the amazon's village tonight, nephew."

"Yes, Great One," he teased back.  "Will they be teaching me, a lowly man, more?"

"Of course."  She smirked at the mother.  "Same woman, different costume."

"So I can tell."  She blinked a few times. "Is that legal?"

"Barely.  I had Misty check it for me."  She adjusted the cups again then hitched on the accessory straps around her neck.  "There, better now.  No more shifting."

"Thank you for that, Auntie," Ishi said quietly.  He grinned at the mother.  "As you can see, our lives are never dull.  Go away, Auntie, and shag Uncle Lupin for a bit?"

"Going, but remember, we are all watching out for you."  She took Lupin's arm and walked him away.  "I brought you a leather set," she whispered.  "You can go as Jett."

He kissed her on the cheek.  "I'd never get out of it before jumping you," he vowed.  "Maybe on the way home."  He heard a quiet voice.  "Xan, if you take off that choker it may not work for up to a year," he warned.  "If it can be taken off.  Janus just put Rupert into the second one and super charged it."  She swallowed.  "It's your choice, but you've got to realize that it may not come off."

"It snapped when I fixed myself."  She looked down at her body, pulling him into a dark corner and sending a desperate plea to Janus to fix her choker one way or another.  If it wasn't going to work at all, then she would go change, but if not, she'd need some help at the moment.  Her penis had come back out.  She felt a tingle through the choker, and picked up the desperation of the plea, sending as much frantic energy as possible to her God.  She even vowed to do whatever was necessary, just don't leave her both.

"Calm down," Lupin whispered in her ear, his voice deep and reassuring.  He touched the choker and ran a finger over the rubies.  "I can fix it, but you'll be female," he whispered.  She looked at him and swallowed.  "For a year, Xander.  Can you take that?  Can my precious one live that way for one year?"

"What of cycles, Lord?"

Lupin smirked at her.  "If it happens, it does, my precious one.  He has prayed for a girl like him.  As has Goemon, but I would not gift you that way.  You are perfect where you are.  Would you consent?"  She touched her forehead to his.  "Your body does not lie, it likes this form."

"Yeah, but I hate being female all the time.  I'm a man."

"Then you could be both."

"Then I'd rather be a girl for the year, Lord."

"As I will it, so shall it be, my precious.  Now close your eyes."  She closed her eyes and he took one of the rubies out of the bottom row, which made it flash and hold in the power, which changed her to the woman he wanted her to be.  "There, open your eyes."  She opened them and had to adjust the outfit.  He made it shift a bit, covering her more.  "That way you do not get into trouble, my queen.  My High Priest was quite correct, you would have been my perfect consort.  You and Lupin both.  So I bless your union and that with Jigen.  Be theirs for the year then pray to me, my queen.  I will help you and you should not have to worry about a child unless you will it.  Rupert can bear the twins I'll need and they'll have to be born live before I can bring forth my perfect one.  It is not your onus this time."  He faded from Lupin's mind, leaving them curled up together.

Lupin came back to himself and kissed Xander.  "Xan?"

"Present," she whispered.  "Don't hate me."

"I could never hate you, babe.  I know how bad it can be to be one so both would be worse.  We'll deal with it."  He kissed her again.  "You're hot that way but you're mine."  She looked into his eyes.  "He can't have you.  You're my consort, my woman."  He tucked the ruby in his pants pocket.  "We'll deal for this year, got it?"  She nodded stepping back.  He moaned.  "Oh, I so like that body," he whined.  "Wanna duck out early tonight?"

"Lupin!"

"Sorry, couldn't help it, babe.  You're delectable.  You've got the body I could only dream of you having.  This is what I had hoped Sylvia would be when I helped you create her."  He pulled her closer and kissed her again.  "Love you, no matter who and what you are.  No matter what, you're *my* consort and my prize."  Xander blushed.  So he grinned back.  "Good enough?"

"Yeah, I guess.  We'll have to tell the others.  At least he didn't say he was going to make me give Goemon the daughter he had wanted."

"No, I think that'll be his second wife," Lupin said wisely.  "Who won't be the one he expected at all."  He walked her back into the crowd after she adjusted herself.  "I do like you in that outfit," he admitted.  They found Goemon and Ishi looking for them.  "You guys okay?"

"Just fine," Goemon assured him.  "What happened?"

"Janus just supercharged the chokers once he had Rupert into one," Xander told him.  "It seems there's a prophecy that his favorite priestess of all time couldn't come back until so many children of his could be born.  There's two left then she can be reborn."

Goemon nodded.  "The problem with this is?"

"I'm trapped in the choker for at least a year," Xander told him.  "Or I would have been trapped as both."  He thought a quick prayer to his God, wishing and hoping that Dawn's latest was the twins so he could have Rupert himself.  After all, he deserved Rupert and Rupert deserved him and Ethan.  Marcus came trotting up.  "I'm supposing you got the mental memo too?" she asked dryly.

"Yes, I did, and I informed Jigen of it as well.  He didn't seem to be shocked, but then again he had been looking at the other choker when it was retrieved by Janus' hand and a statuette left in its place.   He did excellently on your body, Xander, I must say."

"Yeah, me too," she agreed dryly, smirking at him.  "This means that Rupert will be pregnant soon, if not today. Can you handle that?"

"Of course.  I often had the odd twinge to kiss your stomach," Marcus admitted with a blush.  "Are you?"

"He said I didn't have to.  That he had two more that had to be born before his favorite one could come back into being.  I'm personally hoping Dawn's carrying those two so he can have Rupert himself."

Marcus smirked.  "One can only hope. It would be a great honor to bear for Janus that way."

"You can always volunteer," Lupin pointed out.  "That would fix that problem you seem to have about sleeping with four people.  Hey, you could even do like those priests did, to Cybele."

"They castrated themselves, Lupin," Marcus said grimly.  "I'd be miserable and take it out on you lot."  He grinned at Xander.  "I could volunteer.  Would you aid me?"

"Of course.  We could even let Ishi deliver her."

"Her?" Ishi asked.

"His favorite one was a female."

"Oh.  Okay then," Ishi said, nodding a few times.  "Not gonna happen, guys. I don't like having to help with births.  The next one I want to see is my own child's or helping Lotus through hers."

"Ah, the other point," Lupin said, looking at Goemon.  "You'll have the daughter you expected some day, big guy."  Goemon looked stunned.  "He said so.  Fortunately we don't have to hunt him down, he promised Xan wasn't going to be having it."

"That would be for the best, yes," he agreed.  "When?"

"No time frame set," Xander admitted.  "But he wasn't thinking it was soon I think."

"Then if it happens it does," Goemon agreed. "If not, I have Sarah to teach."  They all grinned at him.  "I do."  He looked at them, then at his son.  "No females, son?"

"Her mother got called out on an emergency c-section.  She's an OB."  He grinned at his auntie.  "How long?"

"A year, or more."

"Hey, it could be worse.  You could be both."  Xander nodded quickly.  "Besides, they love you like that just as much and respect the hell out of you because you are a scary woman at times."  Lupin nodded quickly at that one.  "See?"  He grinned.  "Come on, I need to shop.  Auntie, can I have some cash?  I bought lunch for my lady."

"Honey, my wallet's in Lupin's pocket. Ask him."

"Of course you can," Lupin promised, handing him a few hundreds.  "For the excellent wounding job.  You, like Xander, will be showing off all you know sometime soon.  Marcus, did you need an allowance too?"

He snorted.  "No, I've managed to save some of my cuts."  He led Xander off.  "You do look smashing in that outfit, Xander.  I've never seen such a wonderful looking woman."

"Love you too, Marcus, but I've got two men already.  I don't need more."

"I was only pointing myself out in case something happens," he said smoothly, smirking at his coworker.  "Otherwise I'd have to fight for you and Jigen would kill me in my sleep."

"That's right, he would, and I'd get to turn you into bait," Lupin agreed happily.  "Possibly while Jigen was killing you.  Xan, do we need to pull out some clothes for you?"

"Only if they don't fit," Xander pointed out.  "My leathers should still fit.  They might be a bit loose in places though."

"We'll figure it out, babe."  He pinched her, then gave her an innocent look.  "What?  You looked like you could use a good feeling up."

"Lupin, go change back into yourself," she ordered, pointing.

"Only if you go shave," he said smugly.  She sighed and walked upstairs with him, going to do that.   Misty came back from getting a soda, staring in shock as Lupin came down as himself and Xander came down in the outfit. "Is that the same one?"

"It got altered a bit," Xander quipped, waving a hand around.  "Bless Lord Janus.  Pray really hard, he wants more followers."

"I thought all kids would be his at first," Misty said dryly.

"Mine was," Teddy agreed.  He whistled. "Yeah, now that's the Lupin we know and adore.  A beautiful woman on one arm and her armed to the teeth.  Hey, Xander, can you use that thing?"

"Of course I can.  Not as well as my katana, but I can use it."  She kissed him on the cheek. "How's the daughter?"

"Doing quite well.  She's having a girl moment with a few friends though so ...."  He trailed off.  "I'm gonna call home.  'Scuse me."  He went to check on his little girl.  She didn't know that many girls and he had just realized that.

"An honorable man would not need to seduce her, she would have already agreed and he would only have to please her to keep her attention," Ishi said wisely.

"Really, son?" Lupin asked.  "Know that for a fact do you?"

"My lady said so," he retorted, sticking his tongue out.  "So there."  He strolled off, finding Ray had come back.  "Hey, Uncle Ray."  He stood in front of him.  "You knew we'd stop you," he said quietly.

"Yeah, but we never expected it ta be you," he said meanly.

Ishi shrugged.  "Why do you think I train?  For that matter, feel lucky I am that good."  Ray nodded quickly.  "Now, we're having a family moment.  Janus had to stick Uncle Xan as a girl for the next year."  The older man groaned.  "So you're probably not gonna see a whole lot of him or Uncle Lupin for a while, and probably not Uncle Jigen either."  He grinned at his uncle.  "She's wearing her warrior woman costume and Uncle Lupin got ordered to change back.  Go say hi, he won't hold it against you, he knows it's your job, man."  He walked around him, heading for the comic stand.  His subscriptions had run out so he was a month behind on some things.

Ray walked to where he could hear Lupin cackling, shaking his head until he saw Xander's outfit. "I thought he said warrior woman outfit, not Heavy Metal outfit," he said, frowning at Xander.

"Nearly everything but Xena said women wore things like this," she pointed out smugly. "You don't like?"

"If I ask, would you bear kids for me too?" Ray asked bitterly.  "They'd be great cops."

Xander kissed him on the cheek.  "I understood even then, Ray.  You had to try."  She wiped her lipprint off his cheek with a grin.  "You're forgiven for having a job that wants to capture or kill me.  I expect it of you.  Not that you'll get another chance like that one."

"No, we won't.  Zenigata just got ordered back to the office with all of us.  We're to leave you guys alone.  Speaking of, kids, school?  So we can plant a person?"

"The same one Amanda goes to," Lupin said smugly.  "My woman, Ray.  No bearing kids for others or I'll kill them."

"Besides, what would Myron say?" Xander asked smugly.  "Or the other Ray?"

"The other Ray would probably get pissed at me," he admitted.  "Tell the kid he did good.  All clean with that new low-residue gunpowder.  They were all easily fixed."  He looked over the outfit again, shaking his head.  "I guess you won't be Inuyasha for a bit.  Or one of the Mice."

"Hey, there was a female on that show, and female mice," Xander pointed out.  "Not that I remember them that well.  Thank for reminding me I need the tapes to refresh myself."

"Fine, be that way then," he sighed, heading on.   He shook his head.  Xander was unique.  Too bad he wasn't on their side.  The good guys would win with someone like him on their side.  They always had in the past.

***

Jigen looked up as the door opened and Xander walked through it, raising an eyebrow. "That's not your usual female form."

"No, but it's comfier," Xander admitted, sliding into his lap.  He held up his ring and Jigen grinned, kissing him.  "Hmm, had a recent smoke?"

"Of course."  He kissed her again, making her straddle his lap.  "I like that outfit."

"Thanks, I got it off the cover of an animated magazine," she said between kisses.  Someone goosed her so she squealed and jumped, looking back at her grinning son.  "Fred!"

Lupin laughed from the doorway.  "Hey, he's got my appreciation for beautiful women."  He picked Fred up to sit him on his lap, sitting beside the other parts of his trio.  "Say hi to the mommy, Fred."

"Mommy!" he said happily, hugging her.  "Daddy!"

"Same person, little guy.  Don't worry about it," Xander said, giving him a kiss on the head.  "You behave."

"I 'have," he said proudly. "I help."

"Good boy.  Where's the other kids?"

"They nap.  Help Lotus.  She boom!"

"Lotus?" Lupin called.  "Are you all right?"  Their healer walked in and stared at Xander.  "The choker, it does that and she's stuck in it for at least a year."

"Oh.  My."  He shook his head to clear it.  "I suppose there's a good reason?"

"Janus."

"Ah."  He nodded.  "Very well then.  Lotus had a bit of a temper tantrum earlier at something in the woods and exploded so the rest of the children had to help her calm down.  Sarah was quite good at it and they're all napping.  By the way, I've given Sarah something for her heart condition. It should help some."

"Thanks, man," Xander said, grinning at him.  "We worry about her."

"As you should.  May I study that device?"

"The book on it is in the library, the red leather volume writing in Cyrillic," Lupin told him.  "It's the Deermere choker."

"Thank you.  Fred, should you be helping them?"

"Yes," he said, pinching his mother again.  "Mommy!"

"Fine.  I'm going to look that up and go back to lesson plans for Lotus.  She put me in a room down here."

"Not an issue," Lupin promised.  "Whatever you need, tell me, and beware of Arsene's mouth."

"We've already met," he said with an evil smirk. "It seems I won."  He walked off, Fred stalking him.  Anyone who was reading was stalked by Fred.  He loved books.

Lupin stole a kiss as he stood up.  "Come on, Xander, let's check on your clothes.  I don't want you to have to run around naked or in that, unless you want to wear it."

"Most of the kimonos should still fit," Jigen offered, helping her up.  Then he helped unbind her skirt panels so he wouldn't have to see her thong anymore.   He followed them upstairs after setting the alarm, noticing that Xander was down to the thong and no bra in sight.  "Don't fit?"

"Nope," she said grimly.  "They're all too small."  She held up a dress that had been a favorite of Jigen's, sliding the slinky knit creation over her head with a wiggle.  He moaned as she settled it into place, looking at herself in the mirror.  "I look like a ho."

Jigen walked over and picked her up, tossing her onto the bed so he could move the skirt up and kneel behind her.  He undid his pants and slid into her body in one smooth stroke.  "I like you in it," he whispered in her ear as he worked her body hard.  "Damn, I've missed this part of us.  As soon as you're back, you get me."  Xander shivered and got to her knees, letting him pound her into the bed however he wanted.  "Good girl."

Lupin watched from his seat, smirking at them.  He had known Jigen couldn't resist.  "Did she have a barrier this time?"

"No," Jigen said, working harder.  "Not a single one."  She moaned under him so he pulled out to lick her, flipping her onto her back so he could chow down in her wetness.  She wrapped her legs around his back and kept him there, holding him in place.

Lupin chuckled as he stood up and stripped, coming over to help pleasure her.  "See, I told you we'd make it more than happy for you this year," he shared, kissing her.  She pulled back to pant and he stroked himself. "Want it, babe?"  She nodded, accepting his cock to kiss and love for now.  It'd be getting her later.  "Jigen, more," he ordered. "She's not near in that state of ultimate pleasure yet."  She sucked harder and his eyes started to roll back in his head.  "Oooh, Xander!" he moaned.

Jigen forced the tight thighs apart, then smirked at her and shoved Lupin away, mounting her again.  "My woman for right now. You can have him after I'm done with you."  He flicked her clit with his fingernail and she shivered, letting him do whatever he wanted to her.  "I've missed you, Xander.  Not only this part, but the fun little guy you can be at times.  This just brought it all back to me.  I was gonna pounce when you got home, but this big git beat me."

She squealed as she tightened around him. "More!" she pleaded.  "I don't care if you only like me for my tits!"

"Honey, I love you for more than that," Jigen promised, stopping to kiss her.  She gave him a long look.  "Really.  I love you for more than being a woman sometimes.  Or else I wouldn't let you have my ass at all.  You're mine, Xander.  Swear it."

"Yours," she breathed, seeing it in his eyes.  "Yours, Jigen."

"Mine," he agreed with a feral grin, starting again.  She continued to stare at him until he came and collapsed across he chest.  "Damn it, I wanted to do more."

"You can," Lupin promised, laying beside them.  "Or I can.  Remember, she's *ours*, Jigen.  Not just mine or yours, ours."

"Yours," she agreed sleepily.  "Can I please get off now?"  Jigen's fingers went back into play and she squealed once, coming around him, forcing him out of her body.  "Thanks."  She wrapped her arms around his body, holding him.  "You can cuddle up too, Lupin."

"How about we switch this so you're on the pillows?" he suggested, helping Jigen move her.  Then they each got a side of her and stroked her until she fell asleep.  "Jigen?" he asked quietly.  Jigen gave him a long look.  "You're sure?"

"I'm sure, man.  She's ours.  I just had to make sure she was mine too."

"Thanks, Jigen."  He grinned at him.  "Wanna help me take care of this ache I've got?"

"No," he snorted. "That's Xander's exclusive property from now on."

"Do whatever you two want," Xander murmured. "I like watching you suck each other."  She opened her eyes halfway, watching as Lupin moved over to kiss Jigen, and Jigen gave in gracefully to finish him off while Lupin sucked him clean and to sleep.  Then Lupin licked her clean and settled the comforter over their bodies so they could rest.  They could do it better later.

***

Ray K sat in his apartment drinking a beer and staring out the window.  He had decided he was jealous.  Xander did whatever she, he, they... whoever wanted and always managed to get away.  He would probably never catch her.  He could find out things from her, which he would do just in case Xander slipped up, but he could never be her equal in the field.  She was better than him and knew how to go around the good guys because she had been one.  At that moment, if he could find out who had hurt Xander and made him turn from the good guys' side, he'd beat their heads into the ground and then bury them. He shook away the violent thought and took another gulp of the cool liquid.  Benny came out of his bedroom and gave him a gentle hug. "Thanks, man."

"You're welcome," he said quietly.  "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah.  I just realized that I'll probably never catch Xander, and as long as he's with Lupin we'll never catch them either."

"They're an anomaly," Benny reminded him.  "They're not all like that.  We're here to stop the average crook, or ones who are slightly better."  Ray looked at him.  "There are always extraordinary people, but we're normal, human police officers.  Unless we can find one who was raised by Lupin, or who is on the same thought pattern, we'll never catch them."

"So I should go ask the kids who wanna be cops?"

"That may help, but I doubt they'll ever try for their family members.  It isn't honorable or right, Ray."  He sat down across from him on the windowsill.  "They will be the ones taking over for us however.  They are the sort that the world needs to stop more like that group.  The same as it took time to bring down Al Capone, it will take time to bring down Lupin.  We may have to chip at his empire, but even he makes mistakes."

"Yeah, but he covers those," Ray sighed, leaning against the window.  "It sucks that they do these things and no one, not even the other bad guys, can stop them."

"It may, but they don't prey on the innocent.  Remember, we're after those who prey on the innocent more often than not.  They go after those who are already on their side of the law."

"So they're like good guys working undercover?" he asked.

"You've heard it yourself, Xander had been a white knight and now he's the dark knight.  He's the one who takes out the worst of the dark for those others.  The children will be the same.  Especially the one who shot us all."

"I had no idea Ishi could shoot," Ray admitted bitterly.  "I'm guessing they trained them all, but still, the kid's good."

"Ah, but they perfected the art of cross-training on Xander and Marcus," Ray Vecchio said as he came out of his bedroom.  "They crossed over, then they brought in their own skills to teach the kids.  I feel really sorry for the world of crime when Arsene starts to work on them someday.  The sad fact is, we're outclassed and outgunned by that group.  We can do something around them, we can chip away at them, but we may never get those five or six.  Was that woman actually Xander?"  Ray looked up at him and nodded.  "You're sure?"

"Very.  I've seen him do it before.  He puts on the choker and it changes him over.  I also know that only the person who put it on can take it off."

"That's a dangerous relic," Benny noted. "I'm surprised he plays with it."

"They trained him in it," Ray said with a small shrug.  "Besides, Lupin loves women and Xander loves Lupin.  He hates the choker at times, gets no respect most of the time, but he will wear it for them.  He said this time was a treat for Lupin.  Then he got stuck," he said bitterly.  "Lupin enjoys his body a bit too much in that form."

"Why not?  She's eighteen, she's firm, tight, and has tits of doom," Vecchio said dryly.  "What's not to pant after?  If I were able to, I'd do it too."

"Me too," Ray sighed.  "And I have.  You know what?  She forgave me.  Said she expected us to try it, because that's the job.  Said she didn't mind.  I think the torture got her mind a bit too much sometimes."

"Torture?" Benny asked.

"Yeah, see, he had a friend who gave him to a higher level demon as a sacrifice to stop something or other, which it didn't.  Did it against Xan's will too.  Xan was tortured by the thing for about nine months then released.  After it had carved symbols on his body that can stop any and all demons cold.  After hurting him for months on end.  When Xander found Jigen, he was barely back and barely human. Taking care of him brought Xander back."

"So he's a nurturer," Benny said thoughtfully. "That would explain all those children."

"Most of them he had, just not here," Ray told him.  They looked confused.  "See, there was a small time slip.  Zenny remembers it, Dawn does, they do, Misty does apparently.  My and I both did once we saw Zennny.  That one ended so the kids ended up running for their lives back in time to switch a few things around. So they're from there, but they're kinda from here if that makes sense.  If not, I can't explain it better."

"No, it does," Vecchio admitted.  "He had them all?"

"All but Arsene and Sierra, and any Goemons."

Benny looked thoughtfully across the city.  "Then he will die to protect them and his family.  He's a pack animal, he defends and hunts for the pack.  I've noticed the same thing about that young man."

"Ishi?"

"Yes, him."  Benny looked at them again.  "He will protect Lupin and his family unto his death.  Even if it does come at Lupin's hand.  The real question is, can Lupin be cold enough to do that to him?"

"Yeah," Ray K said, nodding.  "I think he can.  Jigen probably could if necessary.  I doubt it'll come to that though.  Xan's got some major powers behind him.  That choker's a hallmark of Janus' personal attention.  Janus personally helped Lotus switch the kids back.  Anything like that would be destroyed, and Xander would then get really mad at Lupin.  Though he'd probably still protect him from farther away.  Definitely if the kids were around."

"The problem is, how to get them apart?" Vecchio asked.

Ray K shrugged.  "There's not a way as far as I've seen.  Lupin knows what he's got.  So do the others.  Even the kids understand that.  Zenny said Lupin had been on long-term vacation due to burnout, then Jigen found Xan and Goemon got married.  The group came back together and Xander had the other kids follow him.  David and Dawn left without finishing their training, but that was because they got slapped with reality."

"Our Dawn?" Vecchio asked.  Ray nodded.  "She's a thief?"

"Art thief.  Good enough but she couldn't kill.  She refused and they made her see that it might be necessary, so she left.  David did for the same reason, he took his skills and went back to the light to fight in LA with Connor and them."  He finished his beer and put the bottle down.  "Marcus needed more help and he could live the life, so he stayed.  Xander found a home in the life so he stayed.  And then the kids showed up here.  They're unstoppable.  If we get the adults, the kids will get us.  If we stop the kids during a job, the adults will kill us."

"As any good parent would," Benny agreed.

"That's not an issue, we've seen them be good parents," Vecchio reminded him.  "Even though they're warping the kids to their side of the law.   How can we separate them?  So far I'm not seeing a way."

"Well, the kids will be going to school this year," Ray offered lightly.  "Xan was talking about beaches."

"He'd probably be a beach baby anyway with where he grew up," Vecchio agreed.  "Are they going together?"

Ray shrugged.  "Probably.  Goemon might go meditate in Japan in the woods, but I think they'll go together.  He did just have that bad breakup and the younger kids'll still be with them.  Marcus may help Ethan and Rupert, but he'll come and go.  The main three and the kids'll probably at least be together.  Then they may or may not do jobs during it."

"They can't get too far away from civilization, Sarah's got a heart condition," Vecchio pointed out.

"Xan and Marcus can both pop around the world pretty much at will," Ray said bitterly.  "That's not an issue."

"Can we get that woman, what's-her-name, to turn on them?" Ray Vecchio asked.

"Maybe, Fujiko hates them with a passion.  She didn't wanna be a mommy."

"Inspector Zenigata said that she had been Lupin's girlfriend before she ended up marrying Goemon," Benny offered.  "Would one of them still defend her?"

"Jigen won't," Ray said, shaking his head.  "Jigen hates her.  Her own daughter hates her.  Ishi hates her.  Xander hates her, but he'll help Goemon.  Lupin abandoned her after getting her free.  Even if she showed up, they'd be wary.  She gave up her own kids because she didn't wanna be a mommy.  Keeps thinking Goemon's cousin, the nanny, is gonna take her man too."

"She seemed like a very nice, traditional woman," Benny noted.

"His family history is full'a samurai," Ray K told him.  "She's the daughter of one."  The men groaned.  "So she's not gonna help us and if we go for the kids, she'll break out the badass for us.  She may be nice, but underneath that kimono is a tiger waitin' ta come out."  He got up to get another beer.  "Unless we can get them to have a major fight somehow and break apart, or we can pick them off one by one from afar, we're screwed on catching them."  He popped open the bottle, then shook his head.  "Fortunately there's plenty of others out there.  I don't wanna be like Zenny in another ten years."  He took a long drink.  "He thinks I'm gonna be like him, he warned me about obsessions."

Ray Vecchio gave him a long look.  "It's always harder when you know the crook as a friend."

"Yeah, but Xander, the one at the conventions, is a nice guy.  He's the guy he used ta be, before the moron gave him to the demons.  It's only on the job that he's different.  Then he's a cold and sure asshole.  Lupin's had to deal with insecurity from him, but none of it ever shows on the job.  On the job he's focused, calm, cool, and just fine unless there's an emergency that's medical in nature."

"He plans and if they go too far astray without a backup, he panics," Benny suggested.  Ray nodded.  "Does he still feel pain?"

"Other's," Ray agreed. "He's got some nerve damage from the torture.  Seems I heard he had open sores for two years and no one knew."

Vecchio gaped.  "Damn it!"

"Yeah, I know," Ray agreed.  "He's borderline psycho.  Lavelle is a *different* person from Xander.  But they're kinda the same.  It's only a half-layer in his mind.  Sorta like a side program in the great computer of his mind."

"So we're dealing with a serial killer who still has some conscience, just not about his job?" Benny asked.

"Possibly," Ray K agreed.  "See, he can be cold on the job, but let there be a kid, a puppy, a kitten, anything cute or furry and he'll coo and pet it ta death, then calmly shoot something and go back to it. It's like the killing was him squishing an ant or somethin'."  Ray took another drink.  "Then Lupin'll praise him and give him his cookie of choice, usually sex."   He handed Vecchio a beer since he was in there and the man seemed to need one.  "It's like it's not registering in his mind.  I've seen him, in that other timeline, take out a whole mess of people at a convention to protect the kids from the thieves hitting a jewel show.  The same one here that Arsene hit.  He and Marcus took them out, showed how good they were by only wounding them, then went to have a drink and Xan changed before going back to the convention. I'm guessing it's from the torture or from huntin' demons in high school."

"He was hunting those vampires in high school?" Vecchio asked.  Ray K nodded.  "He was a good guy?"  Ray K nodded again.  "Can we find the person who turned him and kill him?"

"Possibly. He's in LA somewhere near David," Ray said with a small shrug.  "I heard it was Marcus' father.  With the way they talk about it, I'm not surprised if it was.  Before that he was the support behind the army of the light.  Then he was given and things changed.  Jigen helped him recover.  They took him in as a family and did something that the others didn't, listen and trust him.  The one he worked with, Dawnie's sister, she never listened to him.  Always thought he was a duffer of some sort."  The men groaned.  "So he proved his worth and she ignored him.  She left for Cleveland and he stayed in LA to work with them.  He did good work there, and then Marcus' father did that to him."  He took a long drink.  "Got that from him when he was drunk.  That's all he'd say about it, but he was ready to cry.  Something had just triggered the memories again and he was in misery.  I ended up getting Misty to use his phone to call his buddies.  They came for him and stayed upstairs in the rooms for the next two days."  He finished that beer and tossed it into the trash, turning to look at his friends again. "See why I wanted you two ta come help?"

"I do," Vecchio agreed.  "Ma wasn't happy but at least I'm doing a good job, except for today.  What is that kid?"

"Goemon the Fourteenth.  He's a samurai in training, but Xander's taken his training in hand as his mentor.  So he's learned to shoot, learned how to use his sword, and I have no doubt he's going to the assassin's academy someday soon if his dad doesn't find him a private master to train with, the way he was."

"So the kid's a mini Xander and Goemon together?" Ray Vecchio asked.  Ray K nodded.  "Does his father know?"

"I guess so.  He seems to be proud of him.  Xander taught him somehow to learn off anime and movies.  Xan's learned off a lot of anime. He's good because of it, and he's just unsure enough to not show Goemon until forced."  They all looked pissed at that.  "That's why Zenny said he could be reformed back to a good guy."

"Can we exploit that insecurity?" Benny asked.

"Nope," Ray K sighed.  "He knows he's good, he hates to look stupid in front of his teachers.  He was doing it behind Goemon's back."

"That leaves us with snipers or a lucky job where they're split up," Ray Vecchio noted, sipping his beer.  He grimaced, looking at the label. "Lite beer?"

"Do you know how hard it is to find good beer in Paris?" Ray countered.

"We're close to Germany and Britain!"

"Yeah, but they don't import here.  The French consider it beneath them.  That's why they make wine."

Ray rolled his eyes.  "I'll find the beers next time," he said firmly.  "There's got to be an import shop in the city."

"Twelve bucks a six pack," Ray K countered.  Vecchio winced.  "Exactly. Which is why we've got lite beer in the house."

"We'll figure that out," Ray promised him.  "That's sickening.  I like wine but I can't stand living on it.  You can't watch the Bulls with wine. It's blasphemy."

Benny held in his smirk at that assertion.  "I'm sure we can find somewhere to get beer, perhaps getting it shipped or something."  He looked at Ray again, giving him a small smirk.  "Have we set up the machine to tape the games in case we're on another continent?"

"I did," Ray K agreed happily.  "All the Bulls games, all the Cub's games.  We're set unless we seriously lose power for a long time and miss one, and then we'll be able to get a copy from Frannie, we'll just have to wait two weeks for it."

"Good enough," Ray Vecchio agreed lightly. He took another drink, at least it wasn't wine.  "What are we doing about food?"

"Dude, we're in the city of food," Ray K reminded him.  "You can walk out of this building, find two bakeries, three cheese shops, and seventeen restaurants within two blocks.  If you wanna cook, the nearest grocery is about four blocks away."  Vecchio snickered.  "Seriously.  Speaking of, on the other side of Zenny's former block there's a great restaurant.  It's not expensive, it's got a lot of good food, good portions, and even Lupin likes eating there since Xander does.  I got that one from Lupin himself.  He gave me a whole list of restaurants that the group like to visit which are cheap, but good.  Including an American sports bar.  Xander found that one and lived in it for about a week and a half.  He doesn't even like sports that way, but he was missing being American."

Vecchio snickered, shaking his head.  "Okay, so we'll only have to cook on occasion, like when we're too tired to order food and pick it up."

"Six of the places deliver," Ray offered.  Vecchio gave him a dirty look.  "Hey, you can cook all you want.  I'll do dishes and eat.  I like ta eat and I suck at cooking."  He grinned at him.  "So we'll let you decide. I'm for Chinese tonight though."

"With our luck, we'll order and the phone will ring," Benny said dryly.  As if summoned, the phone did ring.  "Or sooner."  He got up to retrieve the screaming device.  "Yes?"  He listened to Myron.  "Why are we going to Istanbul?"  He sighed.  "Of course.  Stop by to pick us up, we'll be ready in a half-hour."  He hung up. "The commissioner is sending us to Istanbul.  Apparently there's a serial killer down there taking out the market.  They requested assistance and he had remembered that Dawn had done some work there recently."  They went to their rooms to pack bags, and to get Dief's harness from the closet, then went down to meet up with Myron and his SUV.

"Can we stop by for food to take on the plane?" Ray K asked.  "I'm starved."

"How do you stay so skinny?" Myron complained.  "Call it in and we'll drive by to pick it up, or you can make do with fast food."

Ray pulled out the menus he kept in his wallet, calling in an order, then let Vecchio have it to put in his own.  Otherwise they wouldn't get fed until after breakfast.

Myron shared a look with the Mountie. "How did you put up with those two?"

"Easy, they liven up the job," he said lightly.  "Being out in the middle of the woods is much more fun with either of them."

"Better you than me, man."

"Hey, Xander suggested we should date, My," Ray K said with a smirk.

"I'd kill you, skinny.  You know that."  He grinned back at him as they stopped at a light.  Someone on a bike zipped past them and a familiar car came roaring past them to follow her.  "Looks like Dawnie's pissed at her old man.  He's yelling out the window at her.  Something about leather?"

"It's the outfit," Vecchio noted, closing the phone.  "The usual Chinese place."

"I'm for that.  Did you guys get me anything?"

"Yup, just what you like," Ray K said with a smirk.  "You too, Benny.  He really minds those catsuits?  I don't know why.  She looks hot in them."

"He's a jealous spouse, like I'd be," Ray Vecchio reminded him.  "That's the problem, people look at her in them."

Ray K snorted.  "He needs ta loosen up.  He's in the city of love, with a hot chick half his age, who's stuffed up with his baby.  He'll have a real heart attack soon if he don't."

"We've advised and warned him," Myron reminded him. "He doesn't want to listen."  He stopped outside the restaurant, letting the two Rays run inside.  He rolled his eyes.  "I serve with a bunch of goofballs."  His phone rang so he answered it.  "Yeah, sir?"  He listened, then rolled down the window.  "Hey, Ray, Zenny said to get him some egg rolls and to get Dawnie some broth!"  He rolled the window back up.  "Okay, sir.  Anything else?  No, we're heading in now.  Yes, sir."  He hung up and leaned his head back, letting the wolf lick his face. "Thanks, Dief.  You're the most normal guy on this whole detail sometimes."  He petted the soft fur while his owner laughed.

Being the Mommy.

Notes: NC-17, Lupin/Sylvia/Jigen, Lupin/Jigen.

Xander walked into the lingerie shop she remembered from the other timeline and blushed.  "I've grown apparently and *nothing* fits," she told the saleswoman.  "Help?"  The woman chuckled and led her back to the extra-large bra section of the store, helping her fit the first one to figure out a size.  Since she'd have to order most of them, they picked for style.  It didn't pay to be a DD cup.  Especially when you couldn't harness the stupid things.  She did pick up some lingerie and some panties since she didn't have that many left.  She paused at the stockings, then picked out six sets she liked, including a pair that was striped green and white horizontally up the legs.  So what if she looked like an odd candy cane, she liked them.  She paid using his favorite credit card, then took what she had been able to get out of the store and up the street to her car, where it was put into the trunk and the bag was firmly tucked closed.  Then she went to the clothing store that sold workout clothes.  It was nearest and they might as well find her some sportsbras.  The woman gave her a small leer so she blushed and played with her ring.  "Not my fault they increased in size."

"Are you pregnant?" she asked.

"No, but I've had one in the last few years and they did this before," she admitted lightly.  She leaned over and kissed the woman on the cheek. "Thank you for not assuming."  She headed back to the workout pants, pulling out what she wanted.  The saleswoman came back and put a few things back and handed her better quality pieces, still leering at her.  "My, do you work on commission?" she teased.

"No, but I'd be more than happy to help you fit those."

"Hmm.  My men might not like that."

"Men?"

"Men," she said with a lick to her lips.  "Then again, I haven't had a woman in a bit.  Let me call and we'll see."  She called Lupin's phone since he was trying to catch up to her.  "Dear, the fitter is *so* helpful and wants to help me fit things personally.  Do you mind?"  She chuckled and hung up.  "He said to be happy and go for it."  She kissed the woman hard and the woman went weak in the knees.  "My, that's a gorgeous look on you, dear.  Still want to help me?"  The woman nodded and helped her out of her clothes in the changing room, then Xander turned the tables and got her good on the small bench seat.  The small mewling noises just turned her on more.  Finally the woman got off so she pulled back to lick her lips again.  "Delightful.  I appreciate such personal help."

"Anytime," she moaned.  "Next door, the leather shop.  You'll adore it over there."

"My men will be here then," she said with a purr.  "Come, let's get this bought and then I'll go there."  She bought everything then put the bags in the car, closing the hood as Lupin pulled in behind her.  She sat on the trunk of her car, giving him a steamy look.  "Dear, may I have a kiss?"

"Damn straight you are," he said as he got out, kissing her.  "Mm.  Strawberry body wash.  Interesting."  He kissed her again.

Jigen coughed once then pulled him off to get a kiss of his own.  "No more playing with the fitters," he ordered.  "If you want women, break in Bix."

She smiled and ran her nails through his beard.  "Such a jealous man?"

"No, just practical.  No more doing the fitters."

"I only had her, she didn't touch me at all," she promised.  "She only made me warm."

"If you're good, we'll fix that for you," Lupin promised.  He pulled her off the trunk and into the back seat to have her, Jigen getting in to get him out of the way for his own pleasure.  The door barely closed but they enjoyed it a lot.  She was good for them, made them feel young.  Then they got out and followed her into the leather shop, where they caught the shop helpers kissing.  "Don't stop on our account," he offered.  "Our woman can be helped by us.  We know just what we want to see her in."  They laughed and came over to help, finding a pair of leathers for Lupin too.  He wasn't sure where he'd wear them but Xander pouted so he got them anyway.

Jigen rolled his eyes as Xander came out in an outfit. "Dear, you look like Dawn.  Look like Xander."

She unzipped it partially and his jaw clicked shut.  She did look hot in it.  "Better?"

"Much," he agreed.  "You still look like Dawn."

Xander walked back into the fitting room and came out in a tiny leather top and a pair of leather pants, with a shirt unbuttoned over the tiny sportsbra like top.  "How's this?"

"Much more you," Lupin purred.

"She can't wear it anywhere, but I like it," Jigen admitted.  She laughed and came over to kiss him.  "You can't."

"I can if I want to."  She leaned against his chest, whispering in his ear about where she could wear the outfit, just to tease him.  He was getting hard and he knew it, so he patted her on the butt.  "So can I?"

"Fine, but I reserve the right to put you back into your room until you find some real clothes."

She shrugged as she strolled back in.

"Those pants do wonders for her butt," Lupin said, watching it.

"I can see her wearing them on a job," Jigen agreed.  "Xan, we'll need you to get bathing suits, remember?"

"I do."  She came out in a vest, and the pants.  "Like it better?"

"I do, but now you look like a vampire bitch, honey."

"So?"  She grinned.  She went to change, coming out in the dress Jigen liked her in, handing over everything.  "I'll take it.  Guys, I've already done workout clothes, lingerie, and this place.  Next is a woman's clothier or swimsuits?"

"Save the swimsuits for last," Lupin suggested.  "That way Jigen can get all his properness out in one shop."

"Sure."  She took the bags and signed her slip, taking her card back.  Then they went to lock those things in the trunk and go to her favorite clothing shop.  It was larger than average, not couture, and it held a lot of nice things.  Lupin hated it, but she liked it and Jigen thought the hippie skirts were odd.  "I like it," she reminded him.

"I'd rather see you in something you liked and looked good in," Jigen offered.  She gave him a long look.  "They'll probably be comfy in Bali, but around here?"

"I won't have to cross my legs."

"Lupin can also crawl up them at the table and do naughty things to you," Jigen agreed, "but get some real clothes anyway."  She sighed and took those things, then went to get other clothes that they'd like, coming out of that other store.  Lupin took her by the arm and led her into his favorite shop, which got her a few suits and a long and passionate kiss in the changing room for humoring him.  Then they went to lunch, and had another quickie in the car, in the park this time, before going for swimsuits and some jeans.

Lupin leaned over as they came out of the swimsuit store, not having been able to see any of what she picked out, and whispered in her ear.  "Gods, I want to have Jigen drive your car home so I can have you sit on my lap the whole ride home," he hissed.  "All those bumpy back roads.  All the twists and turns.  All of it while you're firmly planted on me."

She smiled at him, subtly wiping off her ear.  "Why are you so much hornier now that I'm in this form?"

"Because I've been missing girls," he admitted.  "I love you enough to go for guys for your pleasure, but I like girls more.  Sorry, Xan."

"No, I get that," she promised, kissing him again.  "It's all right.  Want another quickie?"

"No, dear, I want you.  All night, planted on my hips, lips on mine, begging and pleading for release and pleasure."  She shivered.  "That's all I want.  Think we can?"

"Only if you call Goemon and tell him we're staying over tonight," Jigen said from behind them.  "Then I'll agree and have her when you're too tired."

"We can work that out," Lupin decided.  He pulled out his phone, calling his daughter.  "Put Goemon on, Sierra?  Yes, I do want to stay over.  Why?"   He grinned. "Sure."  He kissed Xander gently.  "From your daughter.  Hey, Goemon.  Have you got it? Xander's been doing the whole clothes thing and I'm about to pop."  He smirked. "Yes, that way.  It's either this or we're trading cars so I can have her on the way home.  Thanks, man."  He hung up.  "We're cleared as long as we get back by a decent hour tomorrow morning."

"Then I guess I'm yours," Xander offered.  Jigen chuckled as he led her away, taking the bags to put into the trunk, and then taking her from Lupin to drive them to the hotel he liked best.  Lupin liked the hunt, let him hunt them.  He got them checked in and upstairs, getting Xander stripped and begging before Lupin even got the door open.  He moved away from the dripping wet opening when Lupin growled, sitting in a corner to watch his lovers pounce each other.  Xander was just as horny as Lupin was and he was enjoying this tease.  He stroked himself gently as Lupin sent her flying in pleasure with his mouth and fingers, then he slid out of his clothes and pounded into her, making her shriek and get off quickly.  Jigen decided he couldn't take any more so he stood up and stripped, grabbing some lotion that had been left in the room.  He used it to slick himself down and then sent one slick finger into Lupin's ass, making him squirm and tighten up.  "Give it up, Lupin, I'm having you.  Did you remember the condoms?"

"Fuck!"  He found one and slid it over his sticky member, then went back to what he'd been doing, not minding Jigen this time.  He felt more fingers be added and winced, but kept up his rigorous pace.  He wanted to be the one to make Xander come.  He had to have that sweetness for himself. It was addicting.  He felt Jigen slide into him and his eyes widened, making him gasp.  He whimpered as his backside stretched around the invader, wiggling a bit.  "More, Jigen," he ordered.

"Of course there is.  There's always more than you think."  He finished sliding in and settled for a moment before pulling out and pushing back in as hard as Xander was being pushed into.  "Do her too, Lupin.  I like it when you go possessive."  Lupin moaned and pushed down into Xander's body, following Jigen's pace.  Xander was making those pleading and crying noises so he nipped Lupin on the shoulder. "You're falling down on the job, man.  Do her better."  He started to work, letting Jigen slide in and out of him as he moved back and forth.  He was the piston between them, see-sawing back and forth between each pleasure.

"Please," she gasped, clutching at Lupin's arms.  "Please, just a bit more!"   He growled and worked her harder, making her shriek and come, going limp under him.  Then Jigen stood him up bent him at a new angle, taking him harder and faster.  Xander was stroking herself now, playing with her wetness as she watched them go at it.  "More," she pleaded.  "Make him suck me, Jigen.  You're damn good behind him."  Jigen moved Lupin so he could suck at the pretty clit and lap up the sweetness, but he could still pound him flat if necessary.  Lupin moaned into her body, clutching it as Jigen rode him harder.

"That's damn hot," Jigen said in appreciation.  "Is he doing good, Xan?"  She nodded, arching up into the tongue.  "Then let him do it.  You know you want him to."

"Oh, I do," she moaned.  "I want all of him.  Leave him hanging, Jigen, let me handle him."

"Of course, princess."  Jigen pulled out with a squishy 'pop' noise, releasing Lupin to dive back into her body frantically.  Jigen cleaned himself off and lay down beside her to kiss her, then Lupin since he was pursing his lips for one.  "Go faster and harder, Lupin.  She's not even panting hard yet."  Lupin growled and lunged down, latching onto her neck to nip and suck on the pale flesh.  She clamped around him but he wasn't done with her yet.  He kept going, pounding her into the bed until she was limp beneath him and he was too tired to do anything but spurt the last of his strength into her and collapse on top of her.  "Good job.  I'll get you later."

Lupin leaned over to suck on the head of Jigen's cock, barely able to do that.  He fed on it until it spurted in his mouth, giving him a much needed bit of energy.  Then he flopped backwards and lay there like he was dead for a good long time. "Xander alive?" he asked finally.

"And nursing on me," Jigen noted, smirking when Lupin opened his eyes to stare at them.  Jigen had a hand between her thighs and Xander was latched onto him like she was sucking milk from his tit.  "Don't you want more?"  Lupin moaned but he couldn't really move.  "Pity, I guess it's my turn.  Right, Xander?"

"Yours," she agreed, switching sides. "More, Jigen, please?  I'm a nympho for you two."  Jigen got her on her stomach and entered her gently, taking his time to work her body higher and higher until she finally came and went limp underneath him.  "Can I have the rest of that?" she asked quietly.

"Where do you want it?" he asked, stroking her back slowly.  "In your mouth?  Back here?  On your skin?"

"Hmm.  I like feeling it hit my insides and I know I'm not fertile right now."  Jigen moaned and came, making her one happy tired person.  "Thanks, napping now."  She yawned and went to sleep right there, with him on top of her.

"It's been a while since we wore ourselves out in her," Lupin said fondly.

"It has," Jigen agreed.  "That other timeline.  Damn, I wanna do this again later."

"So we will.  You want front or back?  Or middle since I owe you one, buddy."

Jigen smirked.  "You enjoyed the hell outta it."

"I did, but I still owe you one.  Maybe now, since I'm recovered and you're not?" he asked smoothly, sitting up to pounce Jigen, kissing him hard and pulling him against his body.  "I should suck her off your tool before I open your ass wide for me."

"If you do, she'll pounce you.  She said that's hers."

"And what's hers is mine," Lupin reminded him smugly.  He pounced, putting Jigen onto his back to suck him down and clean him off.  "Mmm, she tastes good, like us," he noted, working Jigen harder.  Jigen was panting and clutching at anything at hand, including Xander's legs.  He found the lotion and slicked up a thumb, using it on Jigen's backside.  Jigen winced but let it happen.  Lupin chuckled into the hard cock and then moved faster and faster, eventually slipping in a second intruder once Jigen got into it.  More lotion was added and Jigen shivered at the cool liquid.  Lupin got him good and stretched, then pulled himself off the hard cock to take his best friend, staring down at him as he pushed inside his body.  Jigen moaned and grabbed his arms.  "Just wait, it gets better," he taunted.  He worked himself deeper, finding Jigen's pleasure button.  Then he went to work on his hole, giving it all he had.  Jigen was such a pretty bitch under him.  He smirked down at him then swooped in for a kiss, pulling back to pant as he worked harder and harder.  Jigen finally came with a quiet moan and Lupin let himself go inside the twitching spot, then went limp on his stomach.  "There, I feel better now," he admitted tiredly.

Jigen patted him weakly on the head.  "Damn it, I hate it when you're like this."

"Don't worry, Jigen, you're not a virgin by any means.  Next time we'll have to tease you more but you're getting it again and again, buddy."

"You and me both," Jigen reminded him.

"Sure, babe."  He looked up with a grin.  "I can take it if you can."  He kissed him again.  "Next time hands and knees or against the wall?"

"We'll have to wait and see.  Xan might mind us going at it all the time."

"She likes to watch and then take on the winner," Lupin said smugly, shifting so he was between his lovers, pulling Jigen on top of his chest.  "We should sleep and then get dinner."

"We should," Jigen agreed tiredly.

Lupin smirked and felt contentment as Xander curled up next to him, lounging across him and Jigen, wiggling until she felt comfortable.  This was peace.

***

Lupin was drawn out of his wet dream by a scream and a piece of the warm blanket covering him heavily sitting up, flailing.  He woke up in time to grab the hand before it connected with his nose and Jigen had already moved to hold Xander so she'd quit crying.  "What's wrong?" he asked, sounding just like he did when he had soothed his daughter's nightmares.  "Xander?  Come on, babe, we need you back."

"Don't go," she pleaded, clutching Jigen's chest.  "Don't go to that country that invited us.  It'll be horrible!"

"Shh," Jigen whispered, patting her hair gently.  "What country?  What invitation?"

Lupin shifted to get her back, holding her tightly against his chest.  "Xander, is this like the dream where you and Goemon went back to visit his family or like the one with the vampires?"

"Both," she sobbed.  "They...."  She shook her head.  "They invited us, then they made you choose."  She gasped.  "They said they'd kill the other one.  One of us had to die."  Jigen clutched her tighter.  "I sent you guys ahead and chose an honorable combat, getting the guy, but it took me months to get out of there.  I was hurt and no one even gave me a bandaid.  They all hated me."

"Then we won't go," Lupin said simply.  "There's no way we're going anywhere they'd make me choose between you two.  I'd have to kill them all first."  She turned and clutched him, nearly strangling him.  "Jigen, can you please get me a smoke?" he asked quietly.  Jigen nodded and got them both one, lighting them and handing one over.  "Thanks," he mumbled around it.  He took a few deep drags then let one hand take it to hold while he held her.  "I promise, I'm not going there, Xander.  We won't go.  If it's that bad, we're not going anywhere near there, not even to solve it."

She nodded, wiping her eyes off.  "You think I'm silly."

"No, love, we think you're odd, there's a difference," Jigen assured her stroking her back.  "What's their deal?"

"You can be anything you want, but you can't be bi and you have to be monogamous.  They found out there were three of us and they made Lupin choose.  I sent you guys away because you guys were less able to get out of there on your own.  They put bomb collars on you so you couldn't even look back and the things poisoned you so you couldn't touch anyone but each other."  He stroked Jigen's neck.  "I said they'd kill me if they got me in combat, we went at it, I killed him, barely, but I was injured.  I spent *months* there.  When I got back, you guys had mourned and all that stuff."

"Hey, we're not going to risk you," Lupin soothed, finishing his cigarette quickly so he could hold her again, letting Jigen finish his own smoke.  "I'll be damned if we're going anywhere near that country.  Even if they do invite us, challenge me to steal their crown jewels to test their security forces, and give us every blessing to stay and be safe for eternity from Interpol."

"That sounds like a quote," Jigen noted.

"That's because it is," Lupin admitted.  "The invitation's on my desk."  Xander clutched him harder.  "Shh, babe.  Not gonna happen. Your mine and I'm not giving either of you up. Besides, we would have taken Goemon."

"We did, they sent him away to take care of the kids.  Since he was married he couldn't be part of their odd little experiment."  She sniffled and got off them, heading for the bathroom. "I'll be right back."

"Sure.  You come right back," Lupin ordered.  She nodded, shutting the bathroom door behind her. "I honestly hadn't really been thinking of the place," he admitted.

"Do you think it's odd she only gets these after sex with both of us?" Jigen asked.

Lupin nodded. "Yeah, but then again I think it's strange she gets them at all.  She's not known for visions.  Yet she's had a few perfect ones and a few that just showed upcoming problems, like the thing with Spike."  He considered it.  "Then again, this is about the same time as she had that one with Pops and Spike in that other timeline," he said thoughtfully, staring at the bathroom.  "Coincidence?"

"I hope so.  Things seem to be a bit darker in this timeline," Jigen pointed out.  He lit another one then got up to listen at the bathroom door, rolling his eyes.  "Xan, you nearly done?"

"Yeah.  Give me a few more," she said.  "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Sure.  Let us know if you need help."  He walked back to the bed, sitting down away from the suspicious stains.  "So, boss, now what?"

"Now, I want to put forth a wild plan so we can leave her alone for a few hours," Lupin offered.  "I know you're feeling the same desperation for her that I am.  First one to get her for the next few days, and then whoever lands on top?"

"Make her our slut for two days and then we tussle for whoever gets her first?" Jigen said thoughtfully.  "It'd work for me."  The bathroom door opened, letting Xander out.  "Hey, come sit."  She padded over and sat between them, wrapped in the fluffy towel.  "It's a change of subject, but we want to propose something to save you some wear and tear, babe."

"What?"

"We want you to be our slut for the next two days," Lupin said, laying a finger across her lips when they started to move. "Jigen and I are both desperate enough for you to kill each other over having you.  Just two days and then whichever of us lands on top of the other during the day gets you first.  Think about it."

"I'm not a prize."

"You are a prize," Jigen corrected.  "Otherwise we wouldn't be keeping you captive at the house."   He smirked at her dirty look.  "Just think about it.  We'd probably jump you all the time otherwise."

"Like earlier.  Jigen had me, I had him, and we were both still so desperate for you that it was all we could do not to molest you while you slept.  All we need is two days and then we'll figure out who gets to pounce you each night."

"I'm not your sex toy," she reminded them.

"No, you're not, your our wife," Jigen reminded her.  "And we want you so desperately that we're willing to kill each other to get you."  She gave him an odd look.  "Seriously.  I had every intention of shoving Lupin out of the way, and out the window if necessary, to get to you myself.  You've turned us into desperate junkies for you," he said with a small smirk for her pleasure.  "And all we want is you."

She got off the bed, backing away from them.  "You guys need mental help."   She nodded a few times.  "Really, you do."  She ran into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it as fast as she could.  She leaned against it, curling up so she could put her forehead on her knees.  "Now would be a good time to wake up."  She felt something poking her and she blinked a few times, waking up back in the bed.  "It was a dream?  Please tell me it was a dream.  Please, Gods, tell me it was a dream."

"It was a dream," Lupin said softly, smiling down at her.  "But not a bad one at least."

"No, just the dream inside the dream was," she snorted.  "You're not feeling addicted, right?"  He shook his head.  "Not in the least?"

"Desperate sometimes but not addicted."  He kissed her.  "Jigen went to secure food and clean sheets."  He kissed her again.  "It's an interesting proposition but we'd never do that to you, Xander.  We like you too much to make you our slut.  Even for two days."  She relaxed against his chest.  "Now, what was the other one?  All I got when you whacked me on the nose was an invitation."

"That little former protectorate of Russia, the one with that kook for a new leader?"  Lupin nodded quickly.  "He invited us.  You can be anything you want but bi or have more than one lover.  He made you choose.  I made you choose Jigen because I figured if I couldn't fight my way out, it would still be okay. I'm assured a place of leisure, more or less."  Lupin grimaced.  "So I chose combat as a way to end it all and I won, barely.  I was really badly injured and I had to make my way out."

"We would have come back."

"You would have been shot on sight," Xander said flatly.  "They put you in explosive collars that poisoned you so you could only touch someone that resonated on the same frequency, I think it was slightly radioactive."  She slumped a bit.  "By the time I got back it'd been months and you two had already grieved and the kids were moving on.  I was so badly hurt that you actually gave up on a big, huge ass diamond to take care of me."

He kissed her to stop the recital.  "I'd give up on a job to baby you, but we would have come back for you, Xander.  We'd always come back for you."  She pulled back to look at him.  "We will.  You're mine.  I always take what's mine."

"I'm not your gun."

"No, you're not, but you're more precious to me than my gun.  There are other guns.  There's no other Xander."  He kissed her again.  "I do have that invitation.  It sounded really good too.  Think we should talk to Pops?"

"Do you really want to talk to Zenny?"

"Well, no," he admitted. "But if it saves other people in love I'd do it in a heartbeat.  Even if I had to walk into the station to do it."  He looked up as Jigen walked in with trays of food.  "Thanks, man."

"Not a problem."  He sat the trays on the table, taking them off the stack to place at each seat.  "Come on, Xander.  You need to eat.  Otherwise we'll work you to death."  She chuckled uneasily.  "What?"

"Her last dream, the one that woke us, had us being addicted to her."

Jigen snorted.  "No, I'm addicted to nicotine. There's no room for another addiction in my life.  Besides, you can't be addicted to things that are good for you."  He pulled her up and sat her in a seat.  "Eat.  Now.  Before I pout."

"You don't pout," she told him.

"You've never seen me but Lupin has and I'm pitiful because I never use it."

"He is," Lupin agreed, sliding out o the bed.  "We really should tell someone."

"Can we get Vecchio alone?  He'd be indignant but he'd tell the others.  Ray might rant and rave too much," she offered.

"What's this about that other place?"

"You can be anything you want, but sleeping with more than one person," Lupin told him.  "They found the three of us.  She decided that she had the better chance of fighting her way out so she made us choose each other.  She thinks she can do that."

Jigen snorted, shaking his head as he looked at his favorite apprentice. "Not able to happen, Xander.  We'd have been there with you, fighting alongside of you, and taking them all to hell.   You can't make us do anything.  You can only convince your stubborn, older lovers."  He sat down on one side of her, patting her on the hand.  "Was it the same as the Imperial one?"  She nodded.  "Then I'd think Vecchio would be the better choice.  He's a lover, he'd understand."

"Yeah, I think so too," Lupin agreed, coming over to take his seat.  He looked underneath his lid, then switched with Jigen.  Who switched with Xander, so he got hers and smirked at her.  "Ha!  I always get the best things.  Including you."  He kissed her.  "Feel better?"

"Yeah," she admitted sheepishly.  "I don't know what that is."

"It keeps you off-balance most of the time, but we're not abandoning you.  I've told you that before," Jigen reminded her.  "Not even if Janus makes you have a litter the next time."  She shuddered.  "So behave."

"We used a condom, right?"

"You're not fertile yet, he's concentrating on Rupert at the moment, and Dawn.  She's having one, Rupert's having the second and then he or Ethan will have the third."

Xander nodded.  "As long as I don't have to have any more.  Eleven kids is enough."

Lupin nodded. "For everyone.  Even if Goemon does have that promised little girl.  Hopefully most of ours will be out of the house."

"By then, we may even have grandchildren," Jigen said smugly.  "I'm betting on Lotus."

Xander shook his head. "Arsene.  She's not careful.  She's flighty about her personal safety, and she's a nurturer.  It'll happen accidentally on purpose.  She'll come home horrified and shocked, then expect us to help her a lot more than we'll want to.  Then, after the birth, she'll figure out that crime with a baby is hard."

"Does that mean we should take the ferret?" Lupin asked. "I'm not going to be a grandfather before I'm fifty, I hope."

"You'll be lucky if you're not a grandfather before you're forty," Xander told him.  "She's nine.  She's already sexually charged.  She thinks it's neat and fun."  Lupin grimaced.  "So we've got to set some realism into her.  Think we can get Dawn to let her babysit a teething one?"

Lupin smirked.  "I like that idea."  Jigen nodded.  "We'll talk to her about that.  She's got to understand."

"If not, maybe Ethan'll need some for his progeny," Jigen offered.  "That would cure Lotus' desire for kids too."

"Those kids are going to be satanic," Xander said dryly.  "But if it works, I like that idea," he offered.  "I'll talk to Dawn myself."

Lupin smirked.  "Oh, let me talk to Pops. Please."  Jigen snickered.  "I'll even be nice and tie him up this time."

"Sure, babe, you can go taunt Pops."  She patted him on the hand, smirking right back.  "If we do have another kid, can we call it Draco?"

"Only if it's blond and male," he noted.  He kissed Xander gently.  "Behave.  No more kids.  Even if I have to have myself fixed."

"Already done in my case," Jigen assured them both.  Xander gave him a look.  "Seriously.  Radiation to the balls.  Irreversibly sterile for the next five years.  It's a new procedure in testing.  The docs said so."

"Then you're using a condom," Lupin told him.  "The same as I will be from now on."

"And I'm taking that pill pack in the morning," Xander assured them.

Jigen grinned.  "Thank you, babe.  I knew we could count on you.  Wanna go on the pill?"

"Do you want me to castrate you when I start having cycles again?"

"No," he admitted.  "Never mind."

"I've been thinking about getting myself fixed anyway," Lupin admitted.  "Since Arsene and Fred are here, not to mention Sierra and possibly Alex, I don't need more heirs."

Xander kept her 'unless something *really* bad happens, and then we'd better be dead too' to herself.  "It's an idea.  I'd go with you if you wanted.  The bad thing is, they won't do that for someone my age.  Apparently we don't know our minds well enough to demand we be fixed."

"Some of the underground ones might," Jigen offered.

Xander shook her head, wiping off her mouth.  "Nope.  Remember Dr. Carmichael?  The guy who caught me changing after that one injury?"  They both nodded.  "I called and talked to him.  I also told him I looked a bit younger than usual this time.  He said if I looked anywhere below forty, none of the doctors would even consider it, even the underground ones.  If they did, they'd lose their licenses immediately.  You see, the people in charge believe that we'll regret it and that we don't have enough sense to know whether or not we want kids.  Even if we can prove we've had a few."  She got up to get some water from the tap in the bathroom.  "It can be worse in the US.  He said over there some docs demand three kids or forty-five before they think about shutting things down or ripping them out."

"There's that potato chip clip thingy," Lupin offered.

"It causes pain."

"I'm sure it goes away," Jigen told her.

She shook her head.  "All the people I know who had it done had a lot of pain each and every month, not to mention some serious other pains now and then for no reason.  I may not feel it but I don't want to take that chance.  I don't like being in pain and if I'm going to have nerve-spasm cramps each month I'd rather just not have sex."  She took a sip of her water.  "There is the IUD, but it's only supposedly safe and it creeps me out to think of a piece of nylon wire up there."

Lupin shuddered.  "We'll let you go talk to someone tomorrow," he promised, patting her on the hand.  "More than ever, we don't want you to have any kids."  He ate a bite of dinner.  "This is good, Jigen, nice choices."

"Thanks, Lupin."  He looked at Xander.  "It'll be fine.  We'd never let you do something that would hurt you.  Otherwise Lotus' demon buddy Torrence's suggestion of heroin curing the migraine might have been employed."

She grimaced.  "No, thanks, really. Tried it once, hated it."

Lupin choked. "When?"

"I was stupid, young, and going to gay clubs," Xander told him.  "I was sixteen, I thought it was Ecstasy.  Boy did I learn different.  Though, X wasn't too too bad," he admitted with a shrug.  "The problems of stupid youth.  I also did a line of coke and nearly never came back down."

"You told me about that," Lupin reminded him.  "Anything else?"

"They tried morphine in the hospital after I lost my eye but I had that nasty reaction to it.  I figured I liked breathing a bit too much to try anything like that again. I'm not quite as adventurous as I used to be, guys, or as naive.  Now I can tell the difference between drugs by what you're using to take it with.  Though," she admitted with a chuckle, "remind me to tell you about the time someone at the Bronze baked acid brownies and Willow got a *huge* chunk of it in her piece."

"I didn't know you can do that," Jigen admitted.

"He did it after baking.  He sprayed the top with the solution you put onto the paper for blotter acid.  Then he frosted them.  Chocolate brownies with vanilla icing.  Vanilla covers nearly everything in taste."

"Ooh, that had to be bad," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "Did she do a lot of magic too?"

"No, she wasn't active then.  This was right before Buffy came to town."  She smirked at him.  "And Cordy was sworn to secrecy since she was found in a closet talking to the old, nasty, dirty clothes that some homeless guy had left."  They both laughed.  "So, see, it's interesting.  I'm much more worldly now, even more than I had been.  Can we go to Paris's small convention next month?  I know it's a Skinhead convention but I wanna go make fun of them.  I'll even wear robes and act like a Malfoy."

"No, Xander," Jigen said patiently.  "They hate us.  They like to try and kill us."

"Maybe next year," Lupin offered.  "When the kids are in school.  That way Arsene can't talk the others into it."

"I just wanted to sneak in and shoe polish some of them," he offered with his cutest grin.  "I'll even use pimp shoe colors so we get some who're purple or green, plus some who are brown and black.  I'll even do it in geisha mask fashion."

Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "I'll consider it.  You won't bring the kids to help you if you do."

"Sure.  Can I bring Ishi though?  He'd enjoy it more."

"Only if his father agrees," Jigen said.  "Can you make a few polka dotted or striped too?"

"Sure, if at all humanly possible," he agreed.  "I'd have to look up something that went on quicker than shoe polish, yet still sunk into the skin, but it can be done."

Lupin hugged her, still laughing.  "I know just what to use.  We'll do it together with Ishi if Goemon agrees.  Maybe we'll even stand there and take pictures to cheer up Dawn and Ray."  Xander beamed at him so he kissed her.  "Better?"

"Thank you for spoiling me."  She kissed him then Jigen, making him smile.  "What are we doing for the rest of the night?"

"Sleeping without a screaming infant," Jigen told her. "It's a nice change."

She nodded.  "Yu's got the worst case of colic I've ever seen."  They all nodded at that.

***

Ray Vecchio was the first one back to the apartment and he opened the door to find Lupin lounging in his favorite chair.  "What are you doing here?" he demanded.  "Out!"

"Is that any way to treat someone who's bringing you some information that'll piss you off worse than anything else, and is quite illegal by international standards?"

Vecchio slammed the door.  "You mean like you hanging out in my apartment, which you had to break into?  Or the injustice that you're running around free enough to pester us?"

"Yeah," Lupin agreed.

"Then why haven't you taken care of it?" he asked cautiously.

"Because Xander could die," he said simply.  "Every once in a while Xander gets a heads- up from Janus."  Vecchio snorted. "I wouldn't believe it either but I've seen it in action and I've been saved by it.  Besides, everything I tell you, you can find out on your own if you look in the right places."  He tossed over the invitation.  "Those people are insane.  I love the fact that they welcome openly gay couples and encourage marriage.  I don't like the fact that if you cheat, including looking at another person, then you're put to death.  Painful, long-lasting death."  He stood up and walked closer.  "Now, they've invited us, but there's three of us.  That alone would get us killed.  They're also putting radioactive collars on the people that they're making leave, binding them together for eternity because the radiation will make you sick if you're not with the person you were chained to."  Ray grimaced at that. "Which also means that they're exposing a lot of people to biological warfare."

"Why tell me? Why not the other Ray?"

"He'd rant.  He's a fighter.  You're a lover, Vecchio.  You understand how love should be."  Lupin shrugged lightly, giving him an honest look.  "It took Xander to make me see it.  I'm certainly not losing him to those maniacs over there.  Also, this one will take some international cooperation and most of the crime families are fairly old-fashioned.  They usually don't like me and are scared of me, but they hate me more for liking everyone and anyone, especially my gunmen."  He smirked lightly.  "Now, if you want, you can do something about this.  If not, it's your thing.  If you do, I'll also offer you the chance to talk to Sierra and Savannah since they want to become cops and we can't tell them everything."

"The catch is?"

"That I don't have to do it myself, risk Xan's life, and I don't have to leave the kids orphans.  Even if you have to get Pops to go to Interpol's little covert part, Interquest, it'd be worth it to the world."  He turned and walked out the back door. "I had the trash taken out for you, it stunk, and Xan sent Ray some good beer from Germany, with the shop's address.  We're going back to our hideout to play with the kids."  He closed the door and locked it behind him.

Ray stood there, shaking his head.  He finally cleared it enough to open the window and to looked down at his car.  "Hey, Kowalski, Lupin was just here.  See if he's still in the alleyway.  Then shoot 'im."

"He just zipped past," Benny called up.  "The Inspector's coming over."

"Good, we've got one hell of a thing for him."  He closed the window and did a quick turn around the apartment, making sure nothing else had been touched.  He finished in the fridge, noticing the new takeout containers in the plastic bag next to the beer.  "Xander has good, but expensive tastes," he noted.  The door opened and he spun, finding Ray K standing there.  "Xander ordered you food and beer.  Lupin was up here.  He took out the trash."

"Good, 'cause I forgot," Ray admitted, grabbing a beer and looking at the address. "That's near his favorite comic shop.  Huh.  Have to try there."  He looked at the receipt taped to the back.  "Even better.  It's cheaper."  He tossed it onto the counter and pulled out the food, searching for his box.  He found it and took it into his room to unpack and start a load of laundry.  "What did the head crook want?"

"Something about a country where they're killing cheating spouses and using biological weapons to enforce fidelity."  Ray came back to his doorway, sipping his beer.  "Left something in an envelope.  Said Xander saw it?  Some sort of prophetic thing?"  Ray nodded for him to go on.  "That he'd die.  He also gave us the right to talk to Sierra and Savannah since they want to be cops."

Ray finished his beer and grabbed another one.  "Cool."  He went to do his clothes.  "Remind me why I hate Iran in the future, okay?"

"Sure," he said, rolling his eyes.  "You don't want details?"

"You'll be tellin' the boss, I'll listen then."

"Sure, leave this on my shoulders," he said bitterly.  "I can fight."

Benny walked in with his wolf.  "What's wrong?"

"Lupin dropped information in my lap."

"Ah."  He nodded. "He's done so in the past.  Myron said so."  He went to put his things in his room, leaving his wolf to roam the apartment.  "Is some of that food mine?"

"Lupin left it."

"Hmm."  He sniffed the open containers.  "Are you sure?  Ray?"  Ray came out of his room, handing over his box of food.  "I'm not sure he left those."

"He did say he left the beer, that Xander got it for you."

"He's probably been to Iran recently," Ray said bitterly.  "He could have warned me."  He looked in the fridge, coming up with another note under the beer.  "Nope, Lupin said he found this in here.  He's not sure who sent it, but the mushrooms smelled off when he opened the top box to snoop.  Which was the one on the back burner.  He also left us the name and the address of a decent restaurant."  He tossed the note down. "At least I've got an iron gut."

"You'd have to with the way your ex cooked," Ray Vecchio snorted.  "My Ma woulda killed her for some of those dishes she made.  I've never seen a dish Dief wouldn't eat until one of hers."

Stanley looked at him. "That's why I cooked most of the time and lived on takeout the rest," he said smartly.  Someone knocked on the door. "Enter or be shot."

Dawn stuck her head in.  "I hope you wouldn't shoot me or I'll never bring you food again."  She pouted at him. "Isn't it good?"

"It smelled a bit off," Ray said cautiously.  "Probably where it was chilled.  We're lettin' it warm back up."  She quit pouting and smiled at him. "No old man?"

"He's on his way over. He's still refusing to ride behind me on my bike.  Said he's too old to ride bitch."  She walked in and petted the wolf gently.  "Hi, Dief.  Did you have fun in the sand?  Was it like a big kitty box?" she cooed.

Her husband walked in, staring at his wife's rear.  Then he looked at Ray and mouthed 'toss it out' at him.  Ray smirked and nodded.

"Sir, we had a visitor when we returned," Benny told him.

"Let the man take off his coat," Vecchio complained.  "He's a guest!"

"What did the crook want?" he asked dryly.  Vecchio handed over the invitation, making him grimace.  "So?"

"They're supposedly after Xander, sir, and they're using biological weapons to maintain fidelity.  He said they invited the trio but that Xander's life was in danger because he saw it?"

"He has in the past.  Janus sometimes gives him some odd dreams," Zenigata admitted.  "Anything else?"

"He said Interquest might be necessary.  Said they were putting explosive, radioactive collars on the people they were kicking out.  He also said we could find this out if we looked in the right places."

"At least it's a job for Interpol this time," he noted.  He handed it back.  "Look into it your next time in the office, Vecchio.  Maybe we can stop this or hand it on."  He looked around.  "No Myron?"

"Not yet, sir," Ray K admitted.  "I'm assuming he fell onto his couch and napped already."

"That's always a good idea.  You never know when you'll be called out again.  I've had whole years when I didn't see my apartment."  He smiled at his wife.  "Now I don't have to worry about that so much."

"The cats would miss you," she agreed, smiling at him.  He helped her stand and held her while she wobbled.  "Oooh, pretty colors," she said as he helped her into a chair.  "I hate morning sickness.  Have I mentioned this yet?"

"Yeah, you have a few times," Ray K said with a bright grin.  "Sucks to be preggers.  Just think, Xander can do it too."

"And has," she said bitterly.  "Without nearly any problems until Alex.  It's no fair."

"Huh?" Vecchio asked.

"Other timeline," she noted. "He had everyone but the older Lupins and the Goemons.  Now Rupert's going through it," she said smugly.

"That's a powerful choker," Benny said, eyes wide.  "It probably should be destroyed."

"Has anyone noticed the choker's missing a stone?" Ray K asked.  Zenigata nodded.  "I'm wondering if that's why Xan's still female."

"According to Ethan, Janus decided to keep her female for a bit because he's powering Rupert's pregnancy and choker.  If the Watchers bastards try to take him down, he's holding Ethan and Marcus in reserve and he'll magic the baby into them instead.  He's a few kids from a prophesied one."

"Speaking of, someone asked me about the ones about Alex," Zenigata noted.  "Arsene was not pleased to hear that there was one."

"Arsene's not going to be pleased when my foot goes up her ass either," Dawn noted.  "The girl's a baby waiting to happen.  Xan wanted to know if she could babysit for us to learn the horrors of children."

"She's watched theirs," Zenigata said with a frown.

"Apparently that hasn't made it through her tiny mind yet.  Xan thinks she'll be the first to get knocked up and it'll only be a few years.  Some sort of accident on purpose."

"I'd go back to Iran to get away from that fight," Ray K snorted, shaking his head quickly.  "I'm hoping it's not Ishi's."  Zenigata shuddered in revulsion.  "Did you know that Ishi and Xander both got hit on by the stew's on that flight?  They wanted ta break 'em in."  He sipped his beer with a smug look.

Dawn snickered. "I can *so* see Goemon attacking the plane to get those two stews.  Slicing it in half and then chasing them down to chastise them before he stabs them in the heart."

"He's eleven."

"His ID says he's eighteen," Vecchio reminded him.  "His and Xander's."

"Too bad we can't prove otherwise," Zenigata said bitterly.  "I'd love to get him for statutory.  He'd do hard time like you wouldn't believe."

"Since Xan's an orphan, his parents can't exactly give permission so Lupin can say they went to a judge to get permission and marry them, he's probably got a few in his pocket," Dawn pointed out.  She winced and rubbed her stomach.  "I hate being pregnant."

"Maybe you should write Xan," Ray K said gently, staring her down.  "Maybe she's got some tips or somethin' ta make it easier."

She snorted. "She had two love slaves there all the time and Goemon when they weren't.  I doubt they'd be of help to me."

"You don't know unless you try," Vecchio noted. "Or you could write my sister Maria again. She's had enough of them to figured out stuff."

"Maybe I will," she agreed, grinning at him.  "Thanks, Ray."

"Welcome, Dawnie."  He patted her on the head.  "Since the food's not warm enough to eat, should I call for takeout or cook?"

Zenigata's beeper went off and he sighed, grabbing the phone to dial the number on it.  "Yes?  Yes, this is he.  What's going on?"  He listened, frowning.  "Thank you.  We'll be right there."  He hung up. "Myron got in a small wreck on the way home.  He hit a light pole in the park."

"Why was he that way?" Benny asked.

"It's a shortcut to his place," Ray K said, grabbing his jacket.  "Shall we?"

"Yeah, let's get him out.  Can you guys put him up?  They said he's fine but he needs to be watched."

"Sure, we've got a couch or Kowalski can double up," Vecchio said with a wave of his hand.  "I'll cook something."  They nodded and left.  "Kowalski, breath mints," he called.

"It's a single beer and I'm not driving," he yelled back.

Ray shook his head.  "No, but the nurses'll give you funny looks, kid."  He cleared the food off the counter and into the fridge.  "We'll have it for breakfast," he promised her when he noticed her pout.  She smiled at him and he sighed mentally at crossing another mood swing landmine.  Some day, they'd have to eat what she cooked.  Hopefully it'd be edible by then.

***

Xander was led into the house, dizzy, weak in the knees, and starving.  She knew better than to let one of the guys drive her home, but they had.  Fortunately her car had been a rental and the Benz's trunk had room in it.  She flopped down on the stairs, sprawling out with her mouth open.  She looked up at the quiet cough, waving at their temporary healer.  "I'm tired."

"You appear to be so.  Magical assault?"

"Men!"  She held up three fingers.  "Two men!"

He nodded once and came down to check her over.  "It appears you need to eat.  Your men should know better."  He hauled her up and into the kitchen, startling the housekeeper.  "Xander needs food."

"That's Xander?"  Xander nodded, head lolling to the side.  "What did they do to you this time?" she demanded. Xander pointed at the choker. "Oh, really?  Lupin!"

"Yes, ma'am," Arsene called.

"Not you, the older one!" she yelled.

"Yes, ma'am," he called from the doorway. "Is Xander back there?"

"Yes, and you'd better explain yourself damn quickly, boy."

He trotted back there, grinning at Snape.  "Thanks for finding her.  She needs to eat lunch and take a nap."  He looked at her. "It's from Janus.  She's in it for about a year.  She'll be fine, she's simply tired from all the shopping."  His housekeeper snorted, hands now on her hips as she glared at him.  "Okay, so we had sex in the car too," he admitted. "Would you please make the poor thing a sandwich?"

"You'd better be explaining. That's unnatural."

"Well, not really.  Just kinda kinky really.  Janus made it for his priests who wanted to change gender.  It was given to Xander.  Janus is presently busy with Rupert, who's pregnant, so he can't really release Xander fully.  Therefore she's stuck like this until the baby's born and the next one is started.  So about a year."  He grinned.  "It's been hers now for a bit.  Really."

"Hmph."  She stared him down but he didn't even flinch so she knew he was telling the truth.  "You just stuck her in that thing?"

"No, she's been taught how to be a proper woman, she's just tired from all the sex in the car," he explained.  He grinned again. "She's a wonderful woman of the old style.  Classy, elegant, and very good at teasing us.  Jigen had her last, yell at him. Please make her a sandwich?"  Snape started to chuckle.  "Hey, stick up for me!" he complained.  "I'll let you take Lotus shopping."

"No, thank you," he said with another laugh.  "She is simply exhausted."

"Fine, I'll feed the poor thing, then we'll be talking about girl things with her."

"Hey, that's fine.  We've taught her all that we know and I'm sure Murami would agree with me about how female she is when she's not drooling on my shoulder."  He grimaced and wiped it off, handing her back to Snape.  "Thanks for finding her, we're putting up her clothes.  Why couldn't you have brought a house elf with you?  We wouldn't have minded Dobby in the least."  He went to help Jigen gather the bags out of the trunk, taking them up the stairs to put away.  Xander's room was only her closet now so they didn't have to worry about her sleeping in there.  That meant things could go on the bed if they had to, and it looked like they might.  Lupin had to shoo one of the cats off the leather gear, but otherwise things went well until they found the green and white stockings, holding them up so they both could look and frown.

"Only Xander," Jigen noted, putting them away on the bottom of the pile.

"She'd look like the wicked witch from the Wizard of Oz."

"So?  That's a Xander thing to do," he pointed out dryly.  "Don't believe me, think about it.  Who else would wear those things?"

"People with bad taste?"

"Or playful people.  I'm sure Xander and Misty probably have some clothes alike."

"Uh-huh.  Not exactly the woman I want Xander to be.  She's nice, but a bit geeky."

"She's a wonderful girl," Bix said from the doorway, patting Yu on the back.  "She's also one of his friends.  I wouldn't say that too loudly."  Jigen pulled out the stockings, making her grimace and shake her head.  "Only her."  She walked on, taking the cranky one for a stroll.  "Good morning," she told the housekeeper.  "This one is fussy yet again."  Yu let out a snarl of a whimper.  "Yes, I know you don't like to be talked about, Yu."

"I wish I had something but not even we have things for colic," Snape noted.  "Perhaps some of our mothers might but I've not been able to scry any of them."

"Go out to the fish pond in the back," Bix suggested.  "I've used it before with the kitsune."  She looked at him.  "When did you give up your ideals of purity?"

"When I found myself in the muggle world without a single wizard like me, unable to apparate home, and unable to take care of myself," he said bitterly.  "Then I found the sort of witches like Lotus.  It's as close as I'm likely to come until I get home."

"Ah.  Necessity," she said wisely.  "I felt the same way when I first went up to be a nurse for the kitsune."  She walked Yu on as soon as the bottle came out of the warmer, taking him out to look at the trees.  He liked trees. He didn't cry at them.

Snape shook his head.  "That woman is odd."

"Yes, but then again she's earned it.  She's centuries old, kept young by the furry little beasts. They shed too you know."

"I'm sure it's the stress of dealing with the children," he said nicely enough as he took the sandwich to put in front of Xander.  "Eat.  Now."

"Yes, mommy."  She put her head down and napped on top of it.

Fred toddled in and climbed into her lap with a sigh of relief, latching onto a nipple he could see through her shirt.

Bix saw him and came back in, frowning at him. "What are you doing?  Get off her!"

"Eat!" he said, scowling at her.  "Mommy!"

"I know she's your mother, but you're not breastfeeding anymore.  You drink from a cup."

"Meanie!  Daddy!!!" he screamed, breaking out in tears.  Lupin came trotting down the back stairs.  "Eat me!  Mommy!  Meanie!" he howled, pointing at Bix.

"It's the Lupin half of him," she said bitterly.  "He crawled into Xander's lap for a snack."

He patted Fred on the top of the head.  "She's really tired, Fred, so you can't have a snack on her now.  Why don't you have a cup of milk instead."  His son scowled at him so he frowned back.  "Let her sleep, Fred."

"No!  Eats!"

"Not now you're not."  He picked the kicking baby up, putting him up to his shoulder.  "Someone needs a nap.  Hey, Xan, wanna nap on the bed, with real pillows that don't squish and smell like mayo?"

"No."  She sat up, rubbing her chest.  "What happened?"

"Fred decided you were a buffet," Bix said dryly.

Xander tweaked the baby's foot.  "You drink from a cup now.  You can only get cuddles from the mommy."

"Daddy!" he howled.

Xander stood up, getting close enough for the baby to smell.  "I'm the daddy too," he promised.  "You can only get cuddles now, Fred.  You're a big boy and big boys drink from cups."  He took the baby to hold, soothing him gently.  "Come on, let's nap.  It sounds like we both need one."  She took him up the stairs, putting him in bed with her, though she did change out of her dress and stockings and into pajamas.  She laid down beside the baby, cuddling him. "See, you're too big to eat from the mommy.  Only babies do that and you're a big boy," she said tiredly.  "That's why you eat solid food with a spoon, Fred, because you're a big boy.  You also can't go back.  So get used to it, son.  Your other daddy would get mad if he had to share."  She stroked his hair, putting herself to sleep.

Fred, in his finest son-of-Xander fashion, waited until she was fully asleep and did it anyway.  At least until one of the daddies came in and pulled him off again, putting him back into his crib, where he wailed pitifully until Lotus came in to soothe him. Then he tried on her, but she didn't taste right.  He wanted his mommy!

"What is wrong with you today?" Arsene asked as she came in.  Her brother babbled mommy over and over.  "Oh, good, they're back.  Come on, you can get a cuddle," she soothed, taking him out of the crib and walking him to the bedroom door, letting him run inside.  He grunted something that sounded suspiciously like 'titties' as he climbed up but both girls ignored it and left him there.

Lupin walked in later that evening, finding a nursing Fred, a nursing Sarah, and a Goemon taking pictures.  "What are you doing?" he asked, snatching the camera.  "They're too old for that!"

"It's cute," Goemon pointed out.  "They attacked the mommy as soon as she reappeared. I've already had to remove Kenji and Alex, who were trying the same thing.  Those two reappeared.  Thankfully Yu can't walk yet."  He laughed when he saw the dirty look sent at the children.  "Come, let's remove them back to their beds.  For the moment it's only a pacifier to them."  He grabbed Sarah while Lupin got Fred, and they both went back to their cribs.  They fussed but the adults didn't care.  They closed the nursery door so the toddlers couldn't come help again.  Then Goemon went to play with his youngest and Lupin went to play with his wife.  He met Jigen in there, frowning at him.  "Goemon was taking pictures of Fred and Sarah nursing."

"Both of them?"

Lupin nodded.  "He said he had to shoo Alex and Kenji off her too.  Maybe the leather tops aren't so bad."

"Yes they are," Jigen reminded him.  "They won't stop the kids either."

"Then I guess we'll just have to guard them more firmly," Lupin said, lying down so his head was pillowed on them.  Xander still didn't wake up.

"She is living, right?"

"Yeah, she's snoring in my ear," he said with a grin.

"As long as it's your ear, man."  Jigen climbed in on her other side, and she dislodged Lupin to roll against his side, then Lupin got to pounce her backside.  "You do that nearly as good as the cats."

"I've been studying," he said smugly, one hand protectively over the tender parts he so adored.

Jigen rolled his eyes.  "Some days I think you're the same age as Fred, Lupin."

"Am not," he said petulantly.

"That's it, if you can't act like an adult, then you can't go to the topless beaches," Jigen said, sounding exactly like his father to his ears.  He groaned and shook his head. "Never mind, that didn't come out of my mouth."

"Sure, Daddy Jigen.  Wanna spank me to?" he asked with a wink and a leer.

"Only if you're good and since you haven't been good in recently history....."  Jigen smirked back. "I doubt it'll happen this year, Lupin."

"Fine, be that way then.  I'll just have to have her spank me."

"She won't do it either," Jigen said smugly.

"Bastard."

"I had parents.  You?"

"No comment."

Jigen laughed and covered them all so at least some of them could sleep.

To Be Yourself.

Lupin strolled into the range and pulled Xander's earmuffs off to kiss the delicate ear.  "I want to go out tonight.  Clean up and dress up for me."  He kissed her when she looked at him then winked and walked away again.

"Where are we going?" she called as she took the mufflers off.

"Clubbing!"

"Okay."  She looked at Jigen and shrugged, putting back on his mufflers to finish his round of targets.  Then she went to scrub off really well with the special soap someone had made for Lupin so no residue was left.  She also made sure to clean her face to make sure none of the blowback was in her pores, then went to her closet to pick out what to wear.  "I doubt he goes to my sort of clubs," she said, passing over the leather and tighter things.   She came back to them and pulled out one dress, just in case he wanted to go to a dance club, then went back to her browsing.  She had a lot of high class clothes, but almost nothing to club in.  Things for jobs, not for looking sexy and deadly.  She frowned and pulled out a silver sheathe dress, hanging it on the door as well.  Then she pulled out a cream one to hang and look at.  She tossed that in the wash since it had a huge stain on it.  "How did that get in there?" she complained, checking the things around it.  They also went into the wash since it looked like little sticky fingers had been playing with her clothes.  Especially since the clothes all smelled like grape jelly.  She heard the knock and looked at herself, pulling on a robe quickly.  "I'm decent."  Ishi walked in.  "What sort of club are we going to?"

"He said you're going dancing." He looked at her choices and shook his head.  "Not exactly like most of Uncle's women, Auntie."

She shrugged.  "That's my fault.  I didn't think about going out dancing for most of the clothes.  I wish I still had the stuff that I had back at the house in London, it was more suitable for that."

"Your trunks are downstairs," Ishi reminded her.

"Yeah, but I didn't keep any of that stuff," she pouted.  "I should have.  I don't really look like one of Lupin's girls in most of these things.  I look like a professional."

Lupin stuck his head in.  "Why are you pouting now?"

"Nothing in here seems to make her look like one of your women; she looks  more like Murami," Ishi explained.

Lupin let out a long laugh, shaking his head. "You do so look like one of my women.  You've got breasts.  You've got a nice rear.  Wear something short and comfortable."

"Lupin, I look nothing like Fujiko did.  I look like a society girl playing with the dark side."

"Xander, if that's your look then I'm all for it," he pointed out gently, coming in to look through her wardrobe.  He found a few other things with jelly and tossed them into the basket.  He found the tighter things in the back and pulled out one he had liked her in, handing it over.  "There, wear that."

She looked at it, then at him.  "We're going to my sort of club?" Lupin nodded.  "Okay."  She put everything else back and pulled out a pair of shoes.  "Stockings too."

He kissed her.  "You do so look like one of my women, Xander.  You've got a marvelous chest and a cute butt.  That's all I demand, so you're so far above the bar you've reset it.  I could never be with someone like Fujiko ever again.  Yay, she had big tits, you've got a better set and they're more tasty."  He kissed her again, making her go limp.  "Now, go bathe and spoil yourself.  Lotion down really well so I can grope you tonight and not grimace at your elbows again."  He walked Ishi out.  "Help me here, okay?" he hissed.

"She didn't."

"She is though.  That woman is the one I want, and she's more than my sort of woman."  Jigen met them at the bottom of the stairs.  "We're going dancing tonight."

"We, as in the three of us?"

"Only if you wanted to go clubbing."

"No, thanks, really," Jigen said dryly.  "Xander still angsting over her clothes?"

Lupin shook his head. "She didn't think she was my sort of woman."

"She's got tits and a cute ass, of course she is," Jigen said with a shrug.  He went up to help her, pulling out a different dress and putting it on the bed.  He took the cat with him so he couldn't help by kneading the stockings.  "Come on, come read with me."

Xander came out of the bathroom, looking at the dress on the bed, then shook his head, putting that one back.  There was no way she was going out dressed as Fujiko.  She climbed into her mound of bubbles, getting comfortable.  This was nice, this spoiling herself stuff.  She got out of the tub and put on some clothes, then grabbed her wallet and some shoes, pulling her hair up. She knew of a few stores she could get into magically.  They were like that there themselves.  She popped herself there, giving the woman a look.  "I need to look like I'm really one of Lupin's girls."

"I was wondering why you were buying so many formal things," she agreed, leading her back to the slinky, naughty, and stripper section.  Then she called a buddy, who brought over some things from her store.  Xander paid for everything and took it back to the house, deciding what she wanted to wear that night before going back to her bath.  She had to turn on the heater, but it was good enough within a few minutes.  She climbed back in the diminished bubbles, but it was still good.  Her friends were very nice to help her that way.  She'd have to send them a thank you note.  She wouldn't wear the most outrageous outfit, but something more modest and slinky was in store for him tonight.  That way she looked like one of his women.

***

Lupin looked at Xander as she came down the stairs, his mouth falling open.  "Did you run out?"  She nodded with a grin.  "Go change."  She stopped and pouted.  "I love you in it, Xander, but I wanted you to be comfortable in what you were wearing.  Wear something that *you* want to wear."

"Fine," she sighed, heading back up the stairs.  She came down in a dress she liked.  Lupin smiled and held up a hand.  "I like it but it's fussy and it's not for clubbing."

"So?  We'll go somewhere the outfit fits in," he said with a shrug.  "I want you to be comfortable for this year, Xander.  Not to have to match yourself to some personality you think I need.  I want *you*, not any of the others in your head."

"But...."

"No buts," he said firmly.  "No buts.  I want you.  Not the others you create for roles.  I want the real Xander, whoever she is at the moment."  She sighed and nodded.  "Now, do you want to wear that out? I was going to take you to a rave."

She skipped back up the stairs and put on an outfit she had liked but had almost not gotten.  She hadn't thought it was right.  She came down the stairs after changing shoes, something much lower this time, and he grinned.  "Better?"

"If you'll be comfortable in that," he agreed.  He took her out to the two-seater Benz and drove her off, taking her to have fun.  It was time he corrected all those assumptions.  "Did you like the first outfit?"

"It was the most conservative," she admitted.  "Jigen pulled out that old purple outfit."

"Be the woman you want, Xan.  I want the real you, not Melody, Sylvia, or any of the others.  I want you and only you."  He felt up her thigh, then shifted gears upward, going faster. "Did you like the stripper clothes?"

"Yeah, I do," she admitted.  "The leather is me too."

"I noticed you were grinning in them," he agreed. "Then I want you to be yourself."

"But that's hard!"

"It isn't.  Sylvia is you, Xander.  So is Melody.  Though I did kinda like her outfits sometimes.  Sylvia was always work oriented.  Melody was your fun side.  Let them merge and come up with a female Xander.  For that matter, merge Lavelle and become just one Xander if you can."  He played with her knee again and she swatted his hand, making him grin at her.  "What?" he asked when he noticed the pout.  He pulled off to the side.  "Don't do that."  He kissed her gently.  "I just want Xander."

"I did that stuff so you'd stay interested."

"Again, not an issue.  I stick with the women in my life if I want to. You're never uninteresting."  He kissed her again, making her go limp against his chest.  "Should I pull out the dress in the trunk?"

"What dress?"

"The black little number that I drooled about."  He got out and ran around to get it, handing it over.  "Try that.  I thought you might like it more."

She looked it over.  "I thought I looked like a whore in it."

He laughed, shaking his head.  "Not even close, Xander.  That's what belts are for.  Put it on, unless you want to stay in that one."  She changed, smoothing down the tight skirt.  "See, I like you in that.  It's showy, but not trashy on you."  He grabbed the belt and handed it to her, putting the other one in the trunk in the overnight bag.  "You can wear the other tomorrow."  He helped her back into her seat then got in to drive, waiting until the car had passed by them.  "Better?"

"Yeah, I do kinda feel better," she admitted, resting her head against his shoulder.  "I still feel really exposed."

"Yeah, but you look hot," he promised.  He started the engine and pulled out, speeding off to Paris again.  She curled up against his side, making him one happy thief.  The top was lower than her usual - he could see cleavage plus some of the lightly tanned flesh on her breasts.  The tight fabric coated her hips like black sin, and her stockings and shoes were perfect with that outfit.  He wouldn't have minded higher heels, but whatever she was comfortable with was fine with him.  Those pumps looked nice anyway.  The fabric had a slight sheen to it, but nothing too bright or shiny.  The shoes were patent leather. The stockings made a good break between them.  The longer sleeves were tight but not binding, and the whole thing made her look wonderful.  Again, he stomped on the urge to find Xander's parents to stomp them flat for making her hate her body, but he could wait to do that.  Revenge was always sweeter in the long run.  He pulled into the alley on the outskirts of the city a few hours later, getting Xander out and brushing a hand over her rear with a grin.  "Come on, I want to scare little boys off you all night."

She blushed but followed him inside once he had set the alarm on the car.  The bouncer took their money and gave her a long stare, making her feel really uncomfortable.  "Lupin, they're staring."

"That's because you're pretty and hot," he assured her.

"You're sure about that?  I still say the dress is too tight."

"It's not too tight and you look hot in it," he promised, taking her out into the middle of the crowd to dance with her.  He was probably the oldest person in the room but he didn't care.  Now all he had to do was to get Xander not to care.  It took a few songs but she was lost in the music and the dancing with him.

***

Dawn looked up as the door to the coffeeshop she was staking out opened, frowning at the couple.  "Great," she complained, catching Lupin's eyes and glaring.  He shrugged and got them some coffees to go, leading his woman back to the car.  "What a slut," she complained just loud enough for him to hear her.  "I bet Xander wouldn't like that."

He gave her a look, then kissed his date before walking over.  "That is Xander."  She looked stunned.  "Now, want to revise your opinion?"

She shrugged.  "I still say it's too tight and nasty.  It's not her look."

"I think she looks adorable."  He got the coffees and took Xander back to the car.  "She's having cranky pregnant woman hormones," he assured her.

"Maybe," she said glumly.  She sipped her coffee, looking at him.  "There's no real way to prove this point though.  That's a personal opinion."

Lupin smirked and shook his head, turning on the engine, shifting into first as he pulled away from the curb.  "There is.  Give me ten minutes to get us somewhere."  He had a wild idea and it might work.  Maybe.  He hoped.   He took her to his favorite underground club to lose his shirt playing poker in, letting her finish her coffee and suck down a breath mint before leading her inside.  The guard at the doorway stared in shock, whimpering slightly.  "This is my woman, Xan.  Hands off."

"Sure," the guard breathed, opening the door for them.  "The boss is in the back room.  He wanted to see you if you came in.  Ma'am," he said respectfully.  "Please stay away from the other girls.  They're working girls," he said apologetically.  "For the lonely duds in there who can't find a woman."  She blushed as she walked in, making him stop Lupin.  "Who is she?" he hissed.

"Mine," he said smugly.  He winked as he strolled in, taking her hand to lead her into the back room.  "You wanted to see me?"

The boss, the head over Paris, stopped to stare at them.  "Damn," he breathed.  "Your tastes are finally getting better, I'm impressed," he praised.  "It's about time."  He kicked out a chair.  "Sit, honey.  Women like you shouldn't have to wait on a man."  Lupin sat and put her in his lap.  "Lupin, she's not a whore, don't treat her like one!" he snapped. "Treat her like the woman she is."

Xander giggled, shaking her head.  "I'm still Xander."

"Xander?" he gaped, blinking a few times.  "Oh, God, forgive me and don't kill me.  Please."  He closed his mouth when the others at the table laughed.  "This is Lavelle's sister, guys.  Be nicer."  That shut them up.  "Sorry, but I expected you to dress like Lavelle, young lady.  Serious suits, hair pulled back. Things like that."

"She thought she looked slutty in this one," Lupin told him.  She pinched him and he grinned.  "They had no idea I was coming, except that I might be heading in tonight to go clubbing."

"So, it's really not that bad looking?"

"No," the boss said, shaking his head quickly.  "God no.  You look like a classy lady.  Shit, you look like one of those wives who have rich husbands who spoil them rotten, especially at your age.  You are legal, right?"

"Eighteen," she said smugly.

"Good.  I like that.  Lupin, no more teasing the poor girl.  She's a woman and deserves to be treated like one.  Let her have the chair."

"Fine," he agreed, getting her standing and ceding the chair to her.  "Better?"

"Much.  Young lady, he has excellent taste.  Let him put you in more things like this one."

"He's the one who put me in the suits," she said.  "I picked out longer, gauze skirts."

The boss shook his head.  "Not a chance.  Lupin, take her to Esmerelda.  Let her dress your girl."  He noticed the ring.  "Or whatever," he said smugly. "The last I knew that was on....."  He flinched.  "Shit!"  Everyone stared at him.  "Nothing, go away."  They left them alone. "How?"

"Choker," she said, touching it.

"Fine.  You are Lavelle, right?"  She nodded.  "Damn.  You're prettier like that.  Before you looked much too young to be doing the job.  Like you were some twink out for a sugar daddy, namely Jigen."  He rolled his eyes at Lupin's smirk.  "Do not do that.  I may know why but I don't care.  She's staying like this?"  He nodded.  "Then take her to my daughter with my blessings and tell her I said to give it to you at cost.  She needs more clothes.  I'm sure she'll be working soon as your second gunman, and then she can wear the serious clothes.  Get her fun things."

"I got leathers," she offered.

"Not that sort of fun, dear," he said, patting her on the hand.  "Let my baby girl help you.  She can help you find a spot between the two extremes.  Even though you could pull a Fujiko and wear those slutty things, you shouldn't.  That's showing, but not extremely so.  It's more...hinting.  I like that in women.  If he treats you wrong, you come running right to me.  I'd even try guys now and then to have you," he said with a grin.  "Lupin, I've got a sinking suspicion your girl is trying something again.  Have you been assigning homework?"

"No.  She's promised not to pull anything until she's sixteen.  What's going on?"

"The new crown jewels.  We've heard from Melissa."

"We never stopped Melissa or Ishi," Xander noted, calling the house.  "Put Ishi on, Sierra, and go to bed."  She grimaced.  "Because I said you have a bedtime, young lady.  Now."  She handed over the phone and went to pout in her room, she had said so and he knew she was.  "Ishi, the crown jewels, leave them alone.  Unless you can get your father to go with you, no pulling jobs."  She listened to him babbling.  "Do I care?" she asked.  "I said no."  She hung up.  "That should take care of it.  Unless you wanted to run a job with the kids?"

"No, they're too young and they'll be in school in a few more weeks," he said happily.  "Then we're going to Bali before pulling another job in that part of the world.  Ever been to Singapore?"

"Nope, not really."

"Good, we'll go there afterwards," he decided.  They both looked at the local boss.  "Anything else of note going on?"

"No," he said fondly, smirking at them.  "Want in on our poker game?"

"Let her play," he offered.  "I'll watch her."  He got up to let everyone else in.  "We're done and she wants to beat the pants off you."

"Lupin, we only play strip poker with working girls, not ladies like yours," one of the guys complained.  She laughed and he handed over the cards.  "Here, you can deal."  They all watched as she shuffled then dealt, one of them going out instantly.  He looked at her.  "Stacking the deck?"

"Dealing," she said with a grin.  "Why would I cheat guys like you?  Lupin might get upset and spank me."  The guys grunted and the hand was on.  She barely made it above them, then the cards were passed to the next dealer, and she won that one better.

Lupin sat back to watch in appreciation.  His baby was a bad woman at the card table.  He and Jigen knew better than to play with her, except Go Fish, which he never won at.  It made up for all the times they had gambled away a new haul.

***

Fujiko looked up from her drink as her spy returned to her side with pictures.  She hadn't known him, but he came highly recommended from the families in America. She took the pictures of her present family, those who were out and about.  She paused at one picture, then grimaced, crumpling it up to toss it away.  "I hate that he's moved on."

"I noticed she was wearing a ring on her ring finger," Vecchio offered smoothly.  He was actually enjoying this undercover assignment a lot.  Screwing with her mind was fun and he was learning all sorts of stuff.

She grabbed the picture to uncrumple it, looking closely at the woman's hands.  The picture had been taken with that view in mind.  She looked at the next few, then grimaced.  "What did the ring look like?"

"Black diamond."  He shrugged.  "Or else some other black stone.  Surrounded by rubies it looked like, silver band."

"That seems familiar somehow," she mused.  She shook her head.  It wasn't important.  "Can you take her out stealthily or do I have to do that myself?"

"No, I could probably do that, but it'd draw instant attention from him.  One of them is always with that woman."

"She's probably the mother to the horde," she said bitterly.  "The little brats need one since I'm not going to do it."  He nodded wisely.  "Do you have kids?" she asked.

He shook his head quickly.  "Nephews and nieces.  My sister's prolific."

"Good.  Keep it that way.  Kids are horrible little monsters, no matter what else they are."  She got up and went to get herself a drink.  Her clothes fit her again and all it had taken was a small bit of plastic surgery a few days after she had run away.  The doctor had wanted her to do aerobics or something but she wasn't like that and had found another doctor who did it for her.  She noticed her henchman looking at her body and smirked at him.  "Liking what you see, Raymondo?"

"You're a very pretty woman, Fujiko.  I was admiring the scenery, nothing more."

"Fine."  She poured them both a drink then brought his over.  "What do you think would be the easiest way to get them?"

"If you're right and she's the new mother, you could try to get one of the children. I have no idea how they're guarded."

"They're always out on their own," she agreed thoughtfully.  "The nanny takes care of the younger children, plus there's the plan to put them in school this fall.  So they'll have to shop soon."  She tapped her fingers on the pictures, looking at the remaining ones.  "Where did you get a picture of Ishi in ninja gear?" she asked when she noticed that.

"From the last convention.  I know someone who went so I got copies off him.  I've also got ones of your ex in there and that girl from that place.  She was in some pornographic outfit of leather and chains with a sword."  He had seen what happened when you said Goemon's name in front of her, that's how he was now her direct helper instead of just a lower level guy.  She flipped through those, grimacing at the tight, young body. "You want I should try to cap her, bosslady?"

"No, she looks like she's a fighter.  Lupin finally found someone worthy of him," she said bitterly.  "Beauty and skills.  She's probably another thief.  Which means she'll be pulling jobs on her own.  Watch them for me," she ordered.  "I want to know when they're alone and all that.  If you get a chance, try to chat her up or steal her.  I want to know about her."

"Yes, ma'am," he said respectfully.  He stood up. "Anything else I can do for you tonight or can I go back to my boy now?"

"Go."  She watched his back, sighing at the injustice of it all.  He was good, if only he wasn't gay.  Then again, his boyfriend looked like the Hitler Youth with how hard he was.  Maybe he'd give him up soon and she could convince him to try women for a bit.  With a raise of course if necessary.  She stared at the pictures again.  It was all Xander's fault.  She had a comfortable place before he had shown up to be the super parent.  She noticed he wasn't in the pictures and frowned.  "Where is he?" she mused.  "Never mind, he's probably with the kids.  Bastard stole my life."  One of the pictures had a sideshot of him so he was still around somewhere.  Apparently he was taking a break from working Jigen and Lupin off to deal with the brats.  One day, she would get him.  His example had made Goemon give her up.

***

Vecchio got into the van, smirking at his partner in anti-crime, who was rolling around on the floor laughing.  Ray K rewound the last few minutes for him to hear, then continued to laugh while Vecchio took off the wire.  "How do we play this?"

"We ask Zenny if he wants us ta get Xan involved," Ray K said lightly.  "He'd love this one too and it'll endanger the kids otherwise."  He shifted up front to drive the observation van back to their house.  "Does Benny know you're usin' him as a cover?"

"Oh, yeah.  I told him.  He went in being his usual Mountie self.  She asked me if he was a nazi."  Ray K snickered some more.  "I know, but she's not used to Mounties."  He smirked at him.  "You think Xan would play along?"

"I know Xan would play along, if only to get Goemon over her."  He pulled into their parking spot and got out to make sure the van was locked up.  Then they headed upstairs to check in and talk to their boss.  Zenny was in the kitchen hiding from his wife again.  "There's a new twist," he announced, letting Vecchio tell it.

"She wants me to cap or pick up Xander."

Zenigata dropped the spatula, staring at him in shock.  "She wants you to do what?"  Vecchio nodded.  "Oh, that stupid woman!" he said, starting to laugh.  "She didn't recognize her?"  Ray shook his head, starting to laugh again.  "To tell Xander or not?" he mused, grinning at Benny as he came out of his bedroom.  "She wants him to pick up or shoot Xander so she can have Lupin back."

"Wouldn't that be dangerous?"

"That's why ya tell the big girl.  She'll play along really well and Lupin'll let Vecchio get close to her, which means he can overhear things," Ray K noted.

"Which would help us immensely," Zenigata purred.  "Do that."

"Sure."  He popped his neck, then went to use Ray K's computer to send a message to Xander.  He had his email address for convention stuff.

***

The next morning, Xander woke up with a yawn and had a paper handed to her.  "A new convention?"

"No, a request for a meeting," Lupin said smugly.  "Vecchio is after you now?"

"He's cute, but you're mine," she said, giving him a kiss.  She read the note, then smirked, shaking her head. "This is going to be good, I can feel it."  He called the apartment, getting Zenigata.  "Oh, Inspector," she said smoothly.  "Isn't that nice detective around? I wanted to give him a dirty, mushy call for being so cute and *good*," she purred.

***

Zenigata looked at the phone, then grimaced.  "Lavelle, don't do that to me," he complained.  Only the loon would have given her their number.  "Vecchio?"  He came out of his bedroom.  "It's a mash call from a female admirer."  He handed the phone over.

"Yeah?" he asked, smirking. "Hey, Xan.  What did you do to the boss?"  Zenigata growled so he smirked.  "She just got up, she's still in a playful mood."  He listened.  "No, Fujiko wants you."  He pulled the phone away from his ear at the loud cackling.  "That's why I sent the email.  How do you want to do this?"  He listened to the quick planners think up the plan of the day, then nodded.  "Got it.  Tonight at eight."  He hung up.  Then he called Fujiko's cellphone, getting her voicemail. She was never up this early.  "Yo, bosslady," he said, smirking at his boss.  "I just got a tip that Lupin'll be in town tonight for dinner so I'm gonna trail him and his lady friend.  I won't be in tonight."  He hung up and broke out in giggles.  "I'll be out with him tonight."  He went back to his room to change clothes.  Since he didn't need his tie or suit, he wasn't going to wear one. A silk shirt should be enough.

***

Xander skipped into the dining room, startling Jigen.  "Fujiko's put a hit out on me," she announced.  Goemon dropped his fork to stare at her.  She nodded.  "She's being watched by some cops and it got back to Ray K.  He wanted to know if I would play along."  She stared Goemon down.  "If it bothers you, I won't."

"No, that's wrong," he said quietly.  "Please try to be gentle."

"Of course, big guy."  She gave him a hug.  "So we're going out again tonight.  We should do some school shopping soon as well."

"Please, mother, not school shopping," Iggy groaned.  "I hate clothes shopping."

"Tough, kid."  She sat down in her usual place.  "Lupin is still giggling upstairs.  Someone pass me the pancakes or waffles please."  Arsene carefully passed them.  "Thanks, guys.  Speaking of shopping.  We were warned about certain people asking about some crown jewels.  You guys are all coming into your pubescent awkwardness.  That means your limbs will start to fight you.  Which means you may only go out now if you can get an adult to work with you."  She stared down her daughter, who blushed and nodded.  "Thank you. You too, Ishi."

"Yes, mother."

"Thank you."  She pulled a few of the waffles onto her plate and accepted the syrup. "What?  I'm dressed."

"You're wearing a leather bra, mother," Arsene pointed out gently.  "Are we going to go back in time to the Xenaverse?"

"That was only a show, sweetie, though the guy who played Strife was kinda cute," she admitted with a grin and cheek pinch for her little girl.  "It's comfortable and I'll be working with Goemon later."

"Not unless you put on a shirt," Goemon reminded her.

"I need the tan, Goemon.  Get over it or I'll just steal your son and work out with him some more.  He'd better learn to get away from female assassins too."

"I wouldn't stare at your chest," Ishi said with a bright red blush.  "You're my mother!"

"Not quite, and I'm still cute, young, and you're overly full of hormones, it'll happen," she said wisely.  "It always does."  She dug in, eating quickly.  "Whoever I'm working with this morning had better be done by the time I am."  The older kids all ate quickly.

Jigen looked at her. "Be careful, all right?"

"Of course I am," she agreed, giving him a gentle smile.  "I'm always careful.  I'm not losing you now."

Lupin strolled in.  "I admit, I was right about that outfit, it does make you look good, Xander."  He sat down, looking at the nibbling kids.  "Hungry?"

"We're working with her today," Melissa said with a smile.  "And Uncle Goemon if he lets mom outside in that outfit."

"She is nearly naked," he said.

"Is it better or worse than her warrior queen outfit?" Ishi asked.

"Better," Goemon admitted.  "Not by much."

"See, then it's not a problem," Xander said with a grin.  "I should wear that next time."

"Next convention is in December," Lupin reminded her.  "Unless we're near Japan for the one in two months."  She gave him a hopeful look.  "If at all possible, Xander."

"How's the comic company, mommy?" Arsene asked.

"Doing quite well.  I just got my weekly update from them and they said they're doing very well right now.  Only a few problems and they managed those quickly enough."  He patted her on the hand.  "I don't mind if you guys call me mother, but the Goemon clan needs to check with their father."  Lotus and Ishi looked at Goemon, who shrugged.  "I leave that sort of thing to you, Goemon."

"If they wish to, you are their stepmother," he agreed.

"My woman, Goemon.  She's not their stepmother," Lupin said firmly.  Xander tossed a bit of toast off Ishi's plate at him.  "That would require you to be his woman and I'm not giving you up," he pointed out.

"No, you're not.  I'm their pseudo-mother.  How's that?"  Goemon nodded.

"Thank you, mom," Ishi said with a grin.  "The other is too long."

"That's fine, son," Goemon agreed.  "If I have problems at some point in the future, I'll yell at her about it."

"At the very least she's our aunt and godmother," Lotus pointed out helpfully.  "Besides, she did more of the raising than our actual mother did.  Where is she by the way?"

"Paris.  Leave her alone," Xander said firmly.  She nodded.  "Thank you."  She looked at Lupin again.  "Where were we taking me to dinner tonight?"

"We should all go, show some solidarity," Arsene offered.

"Especially if we have to go clothes shopping, at which time I might need a drink," Ishi agreed.  His father scowled at him.  "Father, the mall," he said simply.  "With the girls."

Lupin shuddered, then shook his head.  "Uniforms."  The kids all groaned.  "Tough. It's the rules. You have to play by them.  They're in a small shop, Ishi, that's not a problem.  That leaves the underwear and off-times clothes."  Ishi nodded with a sigh.  "So maybe two or three minutes in the mall."  The girls all laughed.  "Or they can go with Bix," he pointed out.  "Or with Xander.  I'm not going into the Gap ever again."

Xander grinned at him. "Good.  I don't like you in preppie clothes, Lupin."  She smirked, picking up her juice glass to take a sip.  Then she turned the same look on Jigen.  "Okay, I'm nearly done.  Who am I working on the basics with this morning?"  Marcus backed into the room, waving his hands at something.  "Marcus, watch where you're walking," she snapped.

Marcus dove behind his master. "Save me from the pregnant woman," he pleaded.

Xander stood up to look at the portal, finding Giles standing there crying.  "Did he insult you?" she cooed, giving him a hug.  "I'm sorry he's such a guy.  That was just fucking dumb of him. I'll chastise him for you.  What did he say?"

"He said I was...was...was glowing," she wailed, going back to get a cuddle from Ethan.  The portal banished and Xander was let go.

Xander looked at Marcus.  "She's having them early or is there some temporal magic in her womb?"

"Temporal magic.  Janus is impatient to have his favorite priestess born," he said, coming out of hiding.  "I'm sorry."

"It's all right, tell her she looks beautiful.  Not glowing.  Glowing bings to mind greasy skin and zits."  She sat down again, crossing her legs.  "Am I just running the standard self- defense lessons, Goemon?"

"If you wouldn't mind," he agreed.  "As long as you put on a shirt so you don't corrupt the children."

"I'll never have tits like hers," Arsene sighed.  "Dad, was my mother big chested?"  He shook his head. "Why not?"

"Because they get in the way of doing everything," Xander assured her.  "Even small ones get in the way; I have to fire my gun funny because they're in the way."  Arsene sighed and looked so sad.  "If you get a big set, you get a big set.  You won't have to worry about that for at last five more years, Arsene."

"Yes, mom."  She wiped her mouth.  "Can I have plastic surgery?"

"No," her father said.  "Trust me, they'll get in the way.  Appreciate having smaller ones.  All the big chested women in the world want less instead of more."

"Yes, dad.  Come on, we should warm up.  It's raining so should we go to the gym?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Meet you guys down there."  She hurried out to get her favorite spot in the gym, which was against one of the walls.  Ishi always shoved her out of the way if he got there first.  The others trickled in, followed by the mother and Goemon, who turned her around and pushed her out of the room.

"I said put on a shirt, Xander.  I do not need to see that much of your body."  He closed the door in her face.  "Warm up, now."

"Yes, father," Ishi said, giving him an odd look.  "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, son.  Warm up anyway."

"Yes, father."  He warmed up, stretching carefully.  "Am I due for range time today?"

"Later this afternoon.  You'll be doing it while you're tired."

"Yes, sir."  He gave his father another look, then went over to hug him.  "I'm not going to hit on her or stare at her, father, relax," he said quietly.  "Not even the original mother can have her.  She's much too good for that."  He relaxed slightly and patted him on the back.  "Thank you.  Spare me from the girls shopping?"  Goemon shook his head.  "Please?"

"Consider it a test of patience, son.  As I do."  Xander came back in, a shirt over her bra but unbuttoned.  "That is not a shirt."

She frowned at him and attacked, putting him off balance until he finally fell onto his butt.  "I won, therefore I get to teach the class my way."  She took off her shirt and handed it to him. "Here, hold this.  I may need it later when we go shopping."  She looked at the kids, seeing Melissa smiling at her.  "What?" she asked innocently.  "Line up.  Ishi, Arsene, neither of you get the corner.  Take the center, both of you."  They did so with a sigh, and the lesson progressed.

The master watched from his spot on the floor, the shirt lying across his thigh with an occasional stroke to it.  He almost wished he could have gotten Xander first as his apprentice.  The things the boy could do were amazing.

***

Xander walked the kids into the uniform shop, startling the clerks behind the old, expensive counters.  She was still in her leather pants and bra, but was wearing flat boots now.  The horrified looks they gave her were more than enough to make up for the slight breeze that had been blowing outside.   "Yes, I'm the mother," she said dryly.  "St. Agnes, all of them."  She gave Ishi a small shove.  "The only male going."

"Right this way," he said, hurrying them out of the general view.  Such an established and well-respected store couldn't afford to have people like her in here.  "St. Agnes you said?"  She nodded, sitting down and crossing her legs, casually swinging the crossed foot.  "Fine.  Right this way, young man.  We'll do you first and then the ladies."  He got Ishi into the changing room with the uniforms.  "Skirts for the girls?"

"A few of each," Xander said with a small smirk. "Arsene and Lotus will not want to wear skirts all the time."

"Can mine be longer and gauzy?" Lotus asked. "I hate the short skirts.  I'm not some anime schoolgirl out for the hero's attention after the battle is done with."  The clerk gaped at her. "Yes, I am intelligent, thank you," she said dryly, smirking at him.  "The short skirt look is for hookers; please make sure all ours are of an appropriate length."

"We are too young to worry about such matters," Melissa agreed, fingering a skirt.  "Crepe, it's nice."

"Dry cleaning," Xander said fondly.

"Speaking of, I'm sorry I couldn't stop Alex from jellying your closet," Lotus told her.  "I tried."

"I noticed.  It's not a problem.  They all clean, and so does he.  My closet door also locks."  Ishi came out and she gave him a look.  "That's too tight."  The clerk looked confused.  "They're too tight," she repeated. "He studies the martial arts, he'll have to be able to move in them.  As do all these children."  He nodded, getting a different pair of pants for the young man and finding pants and skirts for the rest of them.  "We'll worry about winter stuff in a bit, guys.  Let's make sure we don't outgrow these things before then."  She crossed her legs in the other direction, swinging that foot now.  "Maybe I should have worn heels."

"No, you look good in that," Ishi admitted as he came back out.  "Much better.  Still tight in the waist but otherwise it's much better."  The man handed him another pair in the same fabric, which were the correct size and had room for him to move in.  He came out and turned for his mother's approval.  "Well?"

"I like," she admitted. "No tie?"

"No, there's a button cover, they switched last year," the clerk told her.  He got Ishi another few days worth of clothes then went to work on the girls' fittings.  Lotus got a longer skirt and flat shoes.  Melissa got a straight skirt with flats.  Arsene got an A-line cut skirt with little, tiny heels.  Sierra and Savannah both chose the straight skirt with a few like Lotus' longer ones.  Then they all got fitted for their vests and jackets, plus pants for the girls.  When it was done with, Xander handed over her card.  "Thank you, ma'am," he said, taking it to run.  He came back with his eyes wide.  "Sign please," he said, holding it out.  She sighed the slip and took the card and her copy, standing up to tuck them into her back pocket. "Is there anything else the Lupin clan needs today?"

"Is that enough clothes for a week at least?"

"A week and a day, ma'am."

"That's Mrs. Lupin," Arsene said smugly.  "See the ring?"  He swallowed and nodded.  "Thank you for treating our communal mother so well. Kids, mall."  They followed her out to the car, their bags each marked with their names thanks to another clerk helping them.  "Why do I have to wear a skirt?  Why can't Ishi wear skirts if we have to," she complained when Xander got back into the car.

"If Ishi wants to wear a kilt, he'll have to check with the school," she said patiently.  "Thank every deity you know that you're allowed to wear pants at all, Arsene."

"Oh, I am," she agreed quickly.  The car pulled out of the parking lot and they were off to the nearest mall.  "I need a haircut too.  It's getting long."

"That is also on the agenda," Xander agreed dryly.  "The same as mine is."  She got out, letting the valet have the SUV, taking the kids inside.  She had put her shirt back overtop of the sportsbra, but it was still open.  Before it had been about shock, now it was about the air conditioning in here.  "Girls, stay with the group or I'm making you all wear mumus."  They stayed with her, clumped tightly around her and Ishi.  "Thank you.  Store one?" she pointed to her right.  A few of the girls ran in there, with the group waiting outside for them and Xander going in to pay.

***

Lupin looked up as his girls joined him, smiling at the new haircuts.  "I like that look, Arsene.  I never would have thought you'd look good with a military style trim, but it does look good at that length."

"Hey, later service cut instead of basic training cut," Jigen agreed.  "She could be bald."

"Fat chance," Arsene snorted, giving him a hug.  "Thank you, Uncle Jigen."

"You're welcome. Sit."  Everyone sat and Xander winked at them as she went up to the bar.   She was in a dress she had found, something smart and sassy with high heeled shoes.  She found Ray Vecchio waiting there and grinned at him. "Hi," she said softly.  "Waiting for a table?"

"No, just relaxing after work.  The kids yours?  If so, I'm impressed."

She smiled.  "I'm their stepmother."  She smiled at the bartender, who gave her a glass of wine without asking what she wanted.  "Thank you."  She flirted with Ray a bit more.  "I'm Honey," she said as she held out her hand.

"Raymondo," he said, holding out his.  They shook.  "Where did you come from?  I can't quite place the accent."

"Oh, I'm from *Harvard*," she said with just the lightest touch of smugness.  "I'm in the history department, Japanese history and how it influences modern culture is my study."  He swallowed some of his beer.  "I'm over here studying the local group of immigrants and Master Goemon has been nice enough to help me now and then too."  She smiled as she took a sip.  "What about you?"

"I'm an assistant," he said with a smirk.  "Nothing too exciting.  Did Goemon introduce you?"  She nodded.  "So I'm guessing the guy in red is yours?"  She nodded again, blushing a bit.  "Hey, if you want to leave him, I'm your man," he said smugly.

"Oh, I could never do that.  Lupie said he'd hunt me to the ends of the earth to get back what was his."  She felt Jigen come up behind her. "Sorry, I was talking with our fellow American, Jigen.  It was nice meeting you, Raymondo," she said with a purr, going back to her seat.  She kissed Lupin gently, then nipped him on the lip.  "Perfect, as always," she praised.

"Good.  I like it when I'm perfect."  He patted her hand on the table.  "So, how was the mall?"

"Tiring," Ishi said.  "Can I have some of the wine too? It was cold, the music was loud, and for some reason Arsene wanted to go into the gothic shop."

"Hey, I went with you when you went to look at swords and stuff," she complained.

"True, you did, and you nearly tipped over a whole case of crystal and pewter figurines too," he reminded her.

"I tripped!"

"Children," Xander said smoothly.  "It was an accident and I don't know why you wanted the leather bustier, Arsene, but you can't have one until *after* puberty. Got it?"  She nodded with a sigh of defeat.  "Thank you."  She grinned at her Lupin again, taking another drink. "I earned this one."

He gave her a light kiss, licking off the flavor of the wine. "I'm sure you did, dear."

"If you two keep that up, I'm gonna be too sick to eat," Jigen complained from behind his menu.  "It was bad enough watching her flirt with that guy.  Raymondo's not that bad but I don't want you near him, Honey."

"Sure, Jigen.  Is he any good?"

"He's a mid-level hitter from what someone said when they suggested we take him in and teach him some subtlety," Lupin offered.  It was an excellent cover for Ray, it suited his personality well. "They said his present boss was wasting his talents and he deserved better.  I said I'd talk to the man if I ever saw him off the job."  He looked at the bar but Ray had disappeared.  "Hmm.  Must have run back home."  He smiled at Xander again. "Very good, precious."

"I'm going to have to agree, I'm going to be sick soon from the sugar," Arsene noted.  "Start a brawl or something instead."  Melissa kicked her under the table.  "It wears it out the same," she defended.

"Behave, daughter, or no dessert and no last job," Xander said firmly.

"Yes, mother," the kids all said, giving her their best 'innocent and sweet' looks.  Only Ishi and Lotus could pull it off.

"Nice try," Jigen said, looking around the table.  "Ishi, you do that very well, and Lotus has that look naturally.  The rest of you don't."  He looked at Lupin.  "Beef?"

"I'm for some cow," he agreed. "It's been a while since I had cow."  He looked up and the waiter ran over.  "We'll have roast.  Wine for the adults only, and the younger man isn't one."  He stared down Ishi.  "You don't need it, kid.  I went Christmas Eve last year."  Ishi groaned and shuddered, curling in on himself.  "Did you want something with just veggies, Lotus?"

"Please?" she said respectfully.  "Some tempura or something of that nature?  Since no one will give me a menu."  Jigen handed his over.  "Thank you, Uncle Jigen."  She read it over, then pointed at the seafood platter.  "Can I have that?"  He shook his head. "Fine, then I'll have one of the dinner salads with the baby shrimp on it."  She handed off the menu with a smile.

"Good enough," Lupin agreed. "Have the sommelier pick something to go with the roast."  He handed off his menu and the waiter disappeared again.  "He's very good."

"He probably doesn't want tainted," Jigen noted.  "Why roast?"

"It's on in the back and it's easier to feed all of us at the same time," Lupin pointed out gently.  "Plus it came with salads so we can be good parents and rolls so the kids can nibble while we finish."  Jigen nodded, getting that.  "Plus, then dessert won't be quite as necessary."

"Oh, no, I get dessert," Ishi insisted.  "I still had to brave the world of women's clothing stores to help the mother shop."

Lupin looked at Xander.  "Needed a male opinion that badly?"

"The girls were picking on him about him wearing a kilt so they'd all have skirts on."

Lupin winced.  "Poor guy.  Have a sip of Xan's wine."  Ishi gratefully took the glass and took a long sip, handing it back when he was done.  "Better?"  Ishi nodded.  "Good job.  No more this year."

"That's fine, as long as I don't have to go back again.  I'll order everything and have it shipped for the holidays if I have to."

"Daddy, are we getting prepaid credit cards for our expenses?" Arsene asked.

"Allowances should cover most everything," Xander pointed out.  "The school has that as part of their ID cards."

"Thank you."  She smiled as the salads were brought, taking hers so she could transfer all the purple cabbage to Lotus' plate.  "There, for you."

"The polite thing is to push it aside," her father said firmly.  "Not pass it across the table to Lotus."

"Sorry," she said, giving him an odd look.

"You're going to have to learn manners, Arsene, or the other kids will pick on you," Jigen reminded her.

"Are we going to be sorted, like at Hogwarts?" Lotus asked.

Xander shrugged.  "You're asking the wrong person, dear."  She looked at Lupin.  "The clerk seemed to think that the girls weren't going to get along because Lotus wanted longer skirts."

"There's a set skirt pattern," Lupin said thoughtfully.  "Straight, small slit up the back.  I'll check on that later.  We haven't gotten anything from them recently."  He smiled at the kids.  "Eat, now."  They dug in, mostly being mannerly little children, though Arsene did slip up now and then.  Lupin and Xander shared a smirk, which they turned on Jigen, who winked.  The kids had their own suite and Goemon was waiting on them.  They had their own room on another floor of the hotel.

***

Ray K was cackling as Ray made it back into the car.  "I'm your man?" he laughed.

"It's not like I've had to flirt with women in a while," he pointed out bitterly.  "It slipped out!  Just drive!"

"Fine," he agreed, driving Ray back to the other meeting area, Vecchio going inside while he went to help Benny in the observation van.

"I'm your man?" Fujiko asked with a laugh.  "Oh, damn, you are out of practice, Raymondo."

He kept his bout of panic inside.  How had she been listening?  "Yeah, well, it's not a skill I use daily," he said dryly.  "Did you hear everything you needed to?"

"Yup.  Honey?"

"Some parents are cruel," he said with a simple shrug.

"Good point, and just like most of Lupin's women.  She's smart and not a thief?"

"No calluses on her hands."

"Damn it!"  She stopped herself from throwing her present drink, sipping it instead.  "I wonder if she knows Lupin's already got his heir."

"She probably does, even the Goemon kids call her 'mother' from what I heard.  She also took them all school shopping."

"Then she's probably wanting to be a society wife," she decided.  "She's not a threat to my plans.  Did you get anything else?"

"She's not as simple as she looks, boss.  If she's in Harvard, she's smart.  I'm guessing Lupin might like her brains.  He seemed to listen to her whenever she spoke and not be staring down her dress."

She snorted, waving a hand.  "Not even close.  Lupin can do it without looking now.  Letting her yammer on just keeps her from noticing it.  Jigen liked her?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"I don't know, but he was protective of her.  Maybe he likes her and Lupin together.  I hear they're going to start doing jobs again once the kids are in school."

"Which gets them out of my hair," she agreed.  "Go away."

"Yes, ma'am.  Do I still have tomorrow off?"

"Yeah, fine," she agreed, watching as he walked away.  She sighed and shook her head.  She could use a man like him between her thighs.  He wouldn't expect children from her.

Ray got back out to the van and they stripped down everything on him to find the bug, finding it in his phone.  It had been a good thing she hadn't listened during the days.  Yet.

***

Lupin smiled as his kids walked into the school in front of him, shaking hands with the Headmistress.  "Here they are, all of them for this year."

She looked them over, noticing the differences in skirts.  "Those are not our uniforms."

"The clerk knew the school and said it was," he noted.  "We weren't too sure about that, especially Lotus' skirts."

"No, they are fine.  Longer is always better than shorter. The others will do until they can come up to standards I suppose."  She stared down at the girls.  "All of your hairs must be tied up."

"My hair's not long enough to tie up," Arsene noted.

"It will grow, it will be then," she said firmly.

"Bet me!  My hair gets cut each and every six weeks."  Arsene looked at her father, who smirked at her.  She knew why she was here now, to give her skills in how to move around society and how to get around this creature in front of her.  So they would find a way to make her life miserable while they learned all they could from everyone else.  "May we go to our rooms to unpack?  It was a bit of a trip this morning, having to get up so early."

Melissa looked at her, then at her uncle, who nodded slightly.  She caught on.  "Speaking of rooms, where is the room we may use for extra-curricular training?  Ishi is continuing our self-defense lessons during our time here."

Ishi smirked at her.  "Don't worry, even if we have to use the yard we can," he promised.  He looked at the headmistress and bowed politely.  "Am I near the girls or in another part of the school?  My sister has been known to have horrible nightmares at times and it usually takes a familiar presence to bring her back down."

The headmistress grimaced.  "We were not aware of such."

"You never asked for such information," Lupin said dryly.  "If you had, we would have told you.  The same as we did with the allergy information.  Everyone got their medicines?"

"I forgot my pills, dad," Arsene said.  "I've got my stuff for my allergies though."

"You can live without them for a while," he offered.  She smiled brightly at that thought.  No medicine to help her control her mouth?  Well all right then! "Give me a hug, guys.  We're on our way to Bali so we'll call as soon as possible.  Arsene, I finally retrieved your phone and put it in your bags this morning.  Do not hesitate to call if you need something.  Melissa, the same with the new laptop."  She nodded, smirking at him.  "Good kids.  Hugs?"  They all piled on for hugs.  "Have a good year and have fun.  Make a lot of new friends.  Ishi, no dating at your age, your father would have kittens."  He shook the headmistress' hand again and walked away, mentally cackling like his grandfather had when he had done the same thing to him.

"There are no cellphones allowed in this school."

"Our parents demand we keep our satellite phones," Melissa noted. "You heard him."  She grabbed her bags and waved a hand.  "Shall we?" she asked coolly.  "I'm also rather tired and we need to settle in and find our training room."

"The only thing a girl like you needs to learn is obedience," the headmistress sneered. "That's why you're here."

"No, that's why *I*'m here, get it right," Arsene retorted.  "I'm learning how to get along with social people instead of anti-social people.  Melissa is here because our fathers can't always take the time to do her lessons to let her advance at the rate she and Lotus demand of them.  Ishi's here because he needs to be exposed to people who aren't his family and Lotus is here as a niceness to keep us from taking over the school and running it in our way."  Sierra and Savannah both giggled at that.  "And they're here to be around more normal people too since they don't want to join the family business.  Anything else?  I really am tired."  The headmistress glared at her so she sighed.  "Take her."  Lotus and Ishi brought her to the ground and tied her up, putting her back into her office.  They found the room assignments and brought them out, taking the main hallway until they found another student.  "Hi, we're new and looking for our rooms," she said lightly, grinning at her.  "Can you help us a bit?"

"Sure.  Which rooms are you in?" she asked, taking their sheets.  "All right.  Let me get one of the boys...Goemon?"

"I usually go by Ishi," he offered.

"Okay.  Family name?"

He grinned. "I'm the Fourteenth.  That's okay though, because Arsene is the Fourth."

"That's kind of interesting.  I'll be right back."  She ducked into a large room, pulling some of her friends out to help, and one girl came jogging out to hug Ishi.  "I see you've met."

"We go to the same conventions," he said smugly over her shoulder.  "Oh, I've missed you too, Amanda."  She giggled and let him go, stepping back.  "You missed it," he said as he took her arm and walked off after the boy leading him to his room.  "Auntie Xander, the one in the warrior outfit?  She went to the skinhead convention to heckle them.  It seems a great lot of them woke up one morning funny colored.  Some were shoepolished.  Some were painted, and the paint soaked in greatly.  There were even a few who were polka dotted or striped."  She laughed, leaning against his side.  "So, are you going to let me teach you self-defense as well?" he asked with a grin.

"Sure, my mom said it'd be fine, Ishi.  Thank you."

The boy looked at him.  "How do you know so much?"

"I just took my second level blackbelt in one of the fighting forms.  My father's studied the arts of the samurai for his entire life.  I've been learning since I started to crawl."  The boy looked stunned.  "So I'm running one for the rest of the group.  You're more than welcome to join, but Lotus does the beginning stuff so much easier than I do."

"Maybe we will.  Has the Headmistress seen those girls with you?"

"Yes, and then unfortunately she was a bit ill and retreated to her office," Ishi offered.  "She never did tell us where we could practice.  We must stay in practice."

Amanda blinked up at him.  "Which one was Arsene?"

"The one with the short hair. That's Lupin the Fourth."

She beamed.  "I can't wait."

He kissed her on the temple.  "Don't wait, it'll start happening soon," he offered, going into his room.  "I'll be right out."  He tucked everything into his drawers quickly and walked out, finding his girl standing there still and a boy making fun of her.  "Hands off," he said dryly.  "She's mine."  The boy looked at him and Ishi gave him a little smirk.  "I know you wouldn't begrudge an old friend meeting up with me to show me around this big, drafty old place, now would you?"  The boy shook his head, backing off. "Thank you."  He took her arm like a proper gentleman.  "Now, let's take the tour.  I'm sure most of the kids are done by now.  I know Lotus will be."  She nodded, taking him back to that section of the school to meet up with everyone but Arsene, who came jogging down the hall a few minutes later.  "Problems?"

"Had to find a plug to hook in my phone.  My roomie's already in there.  She's a Rockefeller."

"Hmm.  A rich American and a Lupin in the same room," Melissa said with a grin.  "Mine's a mousy little student who was reading a fantasy novel."

"Mine wasn't in there yet and there was only one bed," Lotus noted.  "Then again, my room's the size of a closet."

Sierra and Savannah giggled. "They put us together."

"Then let's take the tour.  Guys, most of you should remember Amanda from the conventions."  She waved.  "Amanda, the crew, plus the two good guys."  He led her on, letting her steer him so they could learn the layout of this place.  They smiled at the Headmistress as they passed her. "Taking the tour.  Where can we do our self-defense lessons again?"

"The yard will be fine.  There's a shady corner," Lotus noted.  "Or maybe a garden for the meditation lessons."

"You meditate?" Amanda asked.

"We all meditate.  Uncle Goemon makes sure of it," Arsene told her.

"Hey, Lupin," one boy called.

She turned to smirk at him.  "Only call my name in a fit of passion, a nightmare, or if you need my help, boys."  They burst out laughing.  "Think I'm kidding?"

"No."  One of them jogged over.  "My dad's in Paris, second in command."

"Welcome to my side," she said, shaking his hand.  "I look forward to helping your training and learning from you.  This is Melissa Jigen, she's my second and my planner.  That's Ishi Goemon, the Fourteenth, and his sister Lotus.  The other two are my good sisters, Sierra and Savannah.  It's hard to talk them into things, but they will as long as it's legal.  And of course the other is Amanda, a friend of Ishi's from the conventions."

"Cool!"  He grinned at Arsene, then at Melissa.  "Zenigata sent a plant too."

"We expected as much.  Gramps is every bit still trying to catch us," Arsene agreed, taking his arm to walk him along.  "You don't mind helping Amanda give the tour, do you?"

"No, not in the least," he agreed.  "Sierra, Savannah, you two have nothing to fear from me or my friends.  If they bother you, tell me."  They nodded, smiling sweetly at him.  "Thanks.  So.  I've heard you want to be cops?"

"Oh, yeah, we want to take Uncle Ray's spot," Sierra agreed.

"I want to do CSI stuff," Savannah offered.  "That's why I'm here, for the additional science and math lectures."

"Good job," he agreed.  "I look forward to helping you.  I'm an assistant in chemistry."  He whistled and his crew gathered around.  "We heard right, Lupin the Fourth and her crew are here.  Mix and mingle."  The kids all mingled together, chatting as they walked around the school.

The headmistress shuddered.  She had remembered their father, having been behind him in school.  She would have to stop that little girl from becoming her father by any means possible.

***

Xander ran out onto the beach behind the house and dove into the water as soon as she got out far enough away, taking off to swim in the ocean again.  She had missed this!

Lupin shook his head from the porch, smirking at Jigen. "Our woman is odd."

"It's from where she's American," he joked.  "Californian to boot."  He lit up and smirked at Goemon, who was pouting.  "The kids are fine."

"They may be, but I miss them."

"We'll call them tonight," Lupin promised, patting him on the shoulder.  "Xander, not too far out!" he yelled.  She body surfed back in with a grin up at him.  "Thank you."

"Tentacle!" Jigen yelled, pointing behind her.

She pulled her bodice dagger out of her top and stabbed at it until it went back into the water with a moan.  "Touch me again!" she called, kicking sand into the water.  "I will kill you next time!"  She trotted back up to the porch, leaning against Lupin's side. "Feed me?" she asked in a pitiful voice.  "I need sustenance to swim and suntan all day."

"Oh, I'll feed you something," he said smugly, taking her into the bedroom.  Jigen rolled his eyes but he did follow.

Goemon looked down at the sleeping children, shaking his head. "They are so nauseating at times," he complained.  His son Kenji woke up with a yawn.  "Good morning.  Did you rest well?"  He picked him up, letting him see the water.  "That is the ocean, my son."  Kenji cooed and pointed at it. "Yes, the ocean.  We all came from there."

A Meeting of the Minds.

Xander looked up as her drink was brought by the waiter, giving him a slight smile that made him sweat.  He backed away quickly and headed off to get nearer to the usual tourists.  She glanced at her lovers, grinning at them for their frowns. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing," Lupin said smugly.  "Just watching you work.  You do it very well."

"Thank you."  She sipped her fruity cocktail.  "Lupin, when will the rain end?  It's been raining now for fifty-one days and I'm about to figure out the dimensions we'd need for an ark."

"It's not that bad," Jigen pointed out.

"It is so.  All the sewers on the island are backed up and we had to evacuate the house before we got washed away," Xander reminded him.  "I can think of more pleasurable ways to spend a vacation than in the middle of a flood.  Besides, even the cable around here sucks sometimes."  She took another drink.  "Do we have *anything* on deck?"

"No, not really," Lupin admitted, checking his computer's calendar.  He had uploaded everything from the other timeline into its calendar so they could see if anything could be mimicked.  He did find a note.  "It looks like we'll be getting my nephew soon, but otherwise no real jobs."  He looked at her and shrugged. "It's not the season for big hauls."

"Then we've got to do something," she sighed.  "Otherwise I'm going to find Goemon and bug him for a weekend or so."

"Hey, if you want to," Jigen reminded her.  "He's probably pouting over his older kids being gone."

"The last I heard he was drinking and gambling with the kids," Lupin admitted, typing something into his laptop so he could check on Goemon from afar.  The people on the bulletin board snorted but they sent back that he was still in the same place, and that something very bad was probably happening.

Xander stood up and stretched.  "I'm going to bug Goemon.  Have fun with the rain, guys."  She strolled off, casting a locating charm on Goemon.  She knew the place so she appeared in the bathroom before smoothing out her skirt and strolling out, like the place belonged to her.  Which it did, but Lupin and everyone didn't need to know that.  She found Goemon by the sound of the roar of anger, heading back that way.  "You yelled?" she purred smoothly.  The man on the other side of the table sneered at her, holding a familiar sword against his chest.  "How did you get that?" she asked calmly.

"It's mine, I won it," he sneered.

"I doubt it," she said, shifting her weight some.  "If that is true, then you'll let me win it off you, correct?"  He shook his head and started to move so she let herself react.  She broke the table and then walked through the wreckage.  He was backing up against the wall, looking scared now.  "Just a few games," she said smugly.  "Yes?"

"I'm not losing it," he said, starting to pant.  "It's mine now.  You can't have it."

"Honey, if you don't let me play for it, then you'll be facing his son the Fourteenth.   Do you *really* want to do that?"  He slowly shook his head. "Then the only fair and reasonable thing would be to let me win it back."

"Who're you?" he asked suspiciously.   He looked her over. "You look like an ordinary chick."

She pinned him to the wall by his throat.  "Repeat after me," she said smoothly.  "Women's lib.  I am not a chick.  Do you see feathers or yellow anywhere on me?" she asked, staring into his eyes.  "I'm a Goddess, get it right," she hissed.  He swallowed under her hand, barely, and nodded quickly. "Then let's play, little boy.  What's your game of choice?"

"Stud," he gasped once he got free.  "I'm still not giving it up."  He rubbed his throat with a gentle hand. "I know you, you're Lupin's girl.  They said y you've tamed him."

She snickered, then burst out laughing.  "Really?  That's such a lie.  Actually, I'm the mother to Lupin the Fourth," she said smugly.  "She'd be here but we have her in school so she sees what the rest of the world is like."  She smiled at him.  "Let's find us a table, little man."

"She's a myth," he sneered.

"I hope not with as many of her diapers as I changed," she countered dryly.  Goemon snorted. "Yeah, I changed most of your kids diapers too, Goemon.  Sit!"  He sat, staring at her.  "Good boy."  She looked at the dirty, repulsive human in front of her.  "You really are a tiny little dickhead, aren't you?" she asked.

"I'm not little and I bet I can do more for you than he can," he sneered.

She backhanded him.  "Really?  You think so do you?" she asked coolly.  "I can just take that sword from you and kill you."

"You're not trained enough for that, girly," he sneered.

She chuckled, smirking at him.  "Little boy, I trained under Jigen.  Do you really think so?"

"How did you train?"

"My hellmouth trained me."

"You know Lavelle?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, I'm supposing that's why he sends me presents on my birthdays," she said impatiently.  She grabbed him by the throat again and pushed him at a table.  "Now, imbecile.  Before I have to get...upset."  A bouncer looked in and she smiled. "There's no problem.  He cheated and Goemon's sword was taken.  He's graciously allowed me to win it back so I don't have to murder him outside."  The bouncer's eyebrows went up and she smiled.  "I'm Leslie."  He shuddered and left.

"Leslie?" Goemon asked dryly.  "A new identity again?"

"No, just the name that I own a few things under," she said smoothly.  "Cards?"  A new deck was handed to her by someone.  She broke them open and shuffled, getting a feel for it.  She dealt him then dealt herself, then put the cards in the center of the table. "Let's start small," she suggested, pulling a wad of bills out of her bra and putting them onto the table.  He blinked a few times when the money didn't even make a dent in her appearance, but he did put down a few hundreds.  They picked up their cards and Xander won that hand after a few minutes.  He dealt and she won the next one easily as well.  She dealt the next one and something was telling her not to ask for the sword so she didn't, and she kept her bets minimal.  She lost that one and it made him feel better about himself.  The next one he dealt and she could tell he was cheating.  It was fairly obvious.  Fortunately he was stacking the deck like four people were playing.  She got around that and gave him a smug look.  "Sword?" she suggested finally.  He glared at her but put it onto the table.  She laid down her cards gently and smiled at him.  "Ready?"

"Fine," he agreed happily, turning over his cards.  He had two pair, high level cards.

She flipped over hers, a full house.  He gaped and she took the sword, standing up with it and leaving the cash there.  "I suggest you take the rest of the pot and leave the country," she said grimly.  "I saw you cheating.  That's not very wise."  She grabbed Goemon's arm, making him wince, and walked him out.  The bouncers all got out of her way and one of them opened the door for her.  "Thanks, guys."  She waved the sword, waiting until they got outside to turn on Goemon and glare at him.  "Where are the kids?"

"They're with Bix," he admitted quietly. "May I have it back?"

"Once you're sober," she snorted.  "Home, now, Goemon."  He looked stunned.  "If you're going to act like Arsene, I'm going to treat you like the daughter.  Now, find however you got here and let's go."  He started to open his mouth and she stepped closer, her thumb on the joint between sword and scabbard. "Open it again, Goemon, and I'm using it on you," she hissed.  "Home, now.  We do not fight in public."  He nodded, hanging his head as he led her to the cab stand.  She opened one's door and shoved him inside.  "Hotel Palacio."

"Where?" the driver asked.

"Just fucking drive," she ordered.  "You know exactly where it is."

"Fine," he agreed, starting the car.  "They don't usually take your sort there."

"Fuckwad, you have no idea who I am.  Do not start with me."  She glared at Goemon when he coughed.  "You either."

"Yes, Xander," he said quietly, staring at his sword.  "It was stupid, but he wouldn't let me go."

"Goemon, you know how many ways of killing idiots like him?" she asked.  "You're drunk, you got sloppy, and you're moping.  What would your kids do if they lost you?"

"Go to you," he reminded her honestly.

She took a deep breath before she killed him.  "I'm not their parent, Goemon.  I'm the others' parent.  Get over it already!"  He flinched and nodded, looking at his lap again.   He glared at the back of the cabdriver's head.  "You missed the turnoff."

"I didn't, lady."

"Honey, the name is Sylvia.  I'm Lavelle's sister."  The cab turned around and went the proper way.  "Thank you," she said icily.  The driver got out and let them out.  She drug Goemon inside, pissed that she wasn't recognized yet.  The woman behind the counter opened her mouth so she pulled out her unlimited credit card and slapped it on the counter.  "He needs a room."

"Of course, ma'am," she agreed immediately.  You didn't piss off people with those cards.  "If I may ask, is that your husband?"

"My brother," she admitted.  The woman nodded quickly and went back to typing.  The card wasn't stolen, the records for the card said she had full authorization to use them.  So she ran it and it went through.  She pulled out a key, a brass key, and handed it over to the woman with a smile.  "Welcome to the Palace.  Please enjoy your stay.  Room service will be closing in an hour and a few minutes.  Would you like a wakeup?"

"No, that's fine," Xander said, calming down again.  He took the key, his card, and Goemon upstairs to pour him into a bed.  She didn't notice the clerk slumping in relief or anything else until she had pushed Goemon onto a sofa and called to order him a light snack and coffee.  Once it was there, she signed for it and let him have it, sitting across from him.  "Eat, Goemon."

"I'm not a child," he said firmly.

"Then quit acting like it," she snapped.  "Do you really want your son to have to kill to get this sword back?"  He flinched and ate some of the croissants she had ordered him.  "Good."  She stood up, starting to pace.  "I don't know what it is with you guys, but you're acting like children.  You and Lupin both.  Even Jigen's been doing a bit of acting pouty and surly.  Again, I don't know why, but quit it."  She glared at the still man. "If you want to act like Kenji, then be with Kenji, Goemon.  If you want to retire, hand Ishi your sword and finish his training.  If not, do you think you can quit pouting for a while?"  He roared and jumped up to hit her.  He got one good blow in and she sneered at him.  "Ooh, so big and tough.  Never taught me that one?  Well, let's see what the student can do to the master," she snorted, laying into him.  She had worked hard to make her body work the way she wanted it to.  And it showed.   By the time she was done with him he was face- down on the floor, nearly in tears from the pain, and she was choking him with his sword.  "Goemon, can you hear me?" she asked calmly, barely out of breath.  He nodded briskly.  "Good.  Never, ever try me again."  She stood up, tossing the sword aside.  "This appears to be academic, but I used to like you a lot more."  He flipped over and got to his feet, staring her down.  "It won't work, Goemon.  I'm not going to be intimidated by you.  You're drunk, you're sloppy, and you're about to break your own code of honor. "

She ran her hands through her hair.  "I worked damn hard to get a reputation I liked and could be admired for, Goemon.  I'm not just the mother figure in the group, I'm much more than that.  Apparently that fact has been allowed to slip by the wayside again.  So therefore I'm going to save my sanity and your life.  I'm going to leave.  I got this room for the night.  Sleep it off and either join the guys or go relieve Bix.  She's not their mother either."  She turned and left, popping away to another house she owned.  She changed clothes and found her motorcycle, heading off with it.  It was time Sylvia's reputation was refreshed.  She realized no one would remember Lavelle by the time she changed back, but her present persona needed that same respect.  Lupin and Jigen may only see her breasts, but she was much more than that.  Even if she had to prove it again and again, she would.  She had as Lavelle and she would as Sylvia.   She got onto the highway and sped up, going a bit faster than she was supposed to, but it felt good.

Back at the hotel, Goemon picked up the phone to call Jigen's cell.  "What did you do to piss off your wife this time?" he asked quietly.  "No, she helped me, yelled at me, then left in a huff.  Yes, you may want to start looking for her now."  He hung up and took his sword to lay down with it.  He wouldn't be letting it out of his sight.  He wasn't sure how that idiot had gotten it from him in the first place but it would not be happening again.

***

Jigen hung up and frowned at Lupin.  "I'm having flashbacks to Orlando."

"We haven't cheated on her and the kids are in school," Lupin said, looking up from his chatting, eyes already wide.  "What happened?"  He typed something into the window, getting a concise report of what had went on at the club and where she had taken Goemon.  "Oh, hell.  He lost his sword?"

"I'm betting the guy cheated," Jigen pointed out firmly.  Goemon wasn't like that.   "He said she left in a huff."

"I've already put out a 'where is she' message," Lupin admitted as he typed that in.   The usual 'who, Fujiko' message came back so he shot back a quick description of Sylvia, including her name.  One helpful soul mentioned seeing her on a bike on the interstate in Britain but that she had gotten off after a few minutes and headed for Dover, which meant she was probably headed back to Europe itself.   He typed in a request to keep an eye out for her for him, that it was his girl and that she was in a bad mood.  Someone laughed and asked what he did to his women to make them that way.  He growled and shot back a snarky remark about it being the women, not him, then logged off.  "She was last seen in Dover."  He looked around.  "Is the airport open yet?"  Jigen shook his head.  "Not at all?"

"Not in the least. It's flooded too," Jigen reminded him.  "Not even helicopter service, boss.  So what do we do about her?  Send Marcus?"

"I doubt he's in any position to chase after her for us," Lupin said dryly.  He took Jigen's phone to call Goemon back, blessing the person who had first invented *69.  "Goemon, can you leave where you are?  Because we're flooded in.  Yeah, we're still there.  We didn't hear about it until after it had already closed.   I would, but there's not a boat on the whole island."

"Unless we want to row," Jigen added smartly.

"Jigen said he's willing to row, but that would get tiring and he might whine," Lupin told Goemon, kicking at Jigen for that suggestion.   "Last we heard Dover.  Which means she's probably taking the ferry.  What do you mean she hates you?" he snorted.  "She's always considered you her best friend."  He listened to the repeat of the fight and groaned, holding his head.  "She did what?"  He sighed and hung up.  "She kicked his ass."

"He taught her too," Jigen said proudly, smirking at him.  "You know there had to be a lecture in there about stupidity as well."  Lupin nodded, leaning back in his lounge chair.  "She all right?"

"Just pissed," he admitted.   "I have no idea where she's going.  She could have gone to the US without going through Dover, or to the rest of Europe without it too.   She hates boats!"

"Maybe she's checking on someone in Dover," Jigen offered.

"She doesn't know anyone in Dover!" he said frantically, sitting up.  He called Lavelle's phone but it wasn't with her apparently.   He got her voice mail and it said she was taking a vacation.  "Fuck!"  He hung up and leaned back in his chair again.  "She's got it on voice mail.  She'd never do that to the kids."

"Then the smart thing would be ta ask the kids," Kowalski said as he strolled up to them.

"Does this mean the airport's open?" Jigen asked.  "Xander just flounced off again."

He shrugged. "No, not really.  I've been here," he said with a grin.  "Just waiting for the perfect moment.  Stand up and turn around, hands behind you."  They looked stunned for a moment, then burst out laughing.  "Think I'm kidding? It's me or Mr. Wrestler over there," he said, pointing at a man who looked like a sumo wrestler of the highest weight class.  "Now, Lupin.  Jigen, reach for your gun and die," he warned. "He may not look like it but he is a crack shot."

Lupin got up and started to move so Ray gassed him, letting him fall to the ground.

"Hey!" Jigen protested, starting to get up.

Ray shrugged and got him too.  "Pity, but whine.  Next time, keep your protectors."  He got them both cuffed and let his cohort pick them up to carry them to the car.  The jail was nicely flooded and they had a cell just waiting on these two.  They'd have just enough room to breathe at the top, as long as they floated.  Or as long as the criminals in the cell with them didn't get them.  The two murderers were not happy to still be in that cell.  He whistled a happy tune as he strolled behind them, Lupin's laptop and Jigen's phone tucked under his arm.  "Man, the boss is gonna kiss my ass for this one," he said happily.  He used Jigen's phone to call him since he had him on speed-dial anyway.  "Yo, boss, it's me.  Yeah, it's Jigen's phone," he said proudly.  "No, just them.  Xan left in a huff."  He snickered.  "Dover from what they were complaining about.  Sure thing, boss man.  Going into a flooded cell as soon as we get to the station."  He hung up and nearly skipped the rest of the way to the car.  The gas would hold them that long.

***

Xander dialed his daughter upon notice going out over the news stations.  "Arsene, it's Mommy," she said happily.

"Mommy, where are you?  You sound so clear.  Are you close by?  Can we go out for dinner? The food here sucks monkey butts," her daughter's voice came over the speaker.  She sounded a little breathless, but happy.  "What's going on?"

"Well, I called to check on you.   I also called to see if you wanted to spring yourself to rescue your father.  Your Uncle Ray caught him in Bali while they were flooded and he's in a flooding cell at the moment."

"I take it there was a fight?" Arsene asked shrewdly, now panting.

"What are you doing?  You sound like you're having phone sex and I'm not the one you want to do that to," she pointed out dryly.

"Running and hiding from Ishi actually.  I just shaved him bald for busting up a plan of mine to get a teacher.  Can I cap a teacher who believes that Martians are the reason Russian won the Cold War?"

"Dear, the US won the Cold War.  Russia fell apart.  If he asks how you know, tell him your stepmother is American and it's not Martians, it's demons.  You can even tell him about Sunnydale if you want," she said fondly.

"Cool.  Maybe we'll get a few days off while he has his heart attack or something."  The panting stopped and a door slammed. "There, I'm safer now.  What happened, mom?"

"How are things otherwise?"

"They're okay.  How much longer do I have to stay in this funhouse of a school?   I love fucking with the teacher's heads and all but still.  I learned a lot more from traveling all the time.  The geography teacher started to tell us about Constantinople, you know that city that Istanbul was before it became Istanbul?  Well, Melissa pulled out pictures.  Teacher was *mucho* not impressed with her.  Called her a know-it-all who got everything out of National Geographic.  So she pulled up the pictures with us in them and the teacher stomped out to cry.  Melissa had to tell her that she was offering pictures so the kids who had poor imaginations could see it too."  She sighed. "Our science teacher is into lasers.  You'd probably like him, he's trying to perfect a halogen laser of some sort or another to cut stones."

"I funded some of his research," Xander admitted.  "How's it going?"

"He gave us a practical demonstration using this crummy industrial-grade, lab created diamond.  He was going on and on about it how it would be more spectacular if he had a real diamond so I gave him my pendant.  He nearly drooled on me, mom.  So, what was the fight about?"

"The usual," she sighed.  "I'm the mother figure.  I take care of you guys, I play wife to them.  I like the time off, but we haven't done anything in ages.  So I go see Goemon, and get there just as the guy who won his sword in a poker game is trying to leave.  Don't tell Ishi that," she said quickly. "I fixed it and him, then I stomped off.  Your father's probably going to hand me a bottle of Midol the next time he sees me."

"Then be ready to hand back Geritol and Viagra," Arsene snorted.  "It'd serve him right. You're not their sex slave, mom.  You're a stunning thief and assassin in your own right.  Now, how can I help get him free?"

"Well, I can't get there.  The airport's totally flooded," she admitted. "And you're probably closer than I am at the moment.  I'm back in Europe, but I'm in Italy, nearly on the ocean," she lied.  She was in Paris, but her daughter obviously needed some excitement if the school was that bad.  "I'll try to get you kids into a better school," she offered.

"That might be nice, yeah," Arsene said dryly.  "They wanted Melissa to be a cheerleader for the soccer team, mom."

"Eww, my poor baby," she moaned.

"She and Lotus discouraged them before Lotus could shoot them to put them out of Melissa's misery.  They took Sierra and Savannah instead.  Said they're more perky," she finished snidely.   "Can we go to St. Lascivious?"

"That sounds like a school for hookers, daughter," she laughed.

"Actually, it's supposed to be a great school for thieves and assassins.  Lots of them send their kids there.  I'm here with one of the local second's sons and he said he nearly got sent there but they wanted to guard us a bit more.  I left you that message on your cell."

"Which I either left with Goemon or on my bed in London," she admitted with a small sigh.  "I think it's in London.  Do you have caller id?"  Arsene grunted.  "Then mark this as your new number for me and pass it to the kids only.  I'm in the middle of a job so I can renew my scary rep with the other families.  Otherwise I would go rescue your father and uncle, then walk away again for a bit until I finish being happy."

"Don't worry 'bout it, mom, I've got it covered.  Dad doesn't know this, but I used the proceeds of one heist to buy a boat.  It's on the US's coast right now so it won't be much of a problem to get over there in a timely manner."  The sound of her shifting was loud in the quiet apartment.  "Where are you really, mom?  You hate Italy."

"I'm in Paris," she sighed. "Eating bon-bons and expecting a call for a job."

"The ice cream or the coconut?"

"Ice cream at the moment, I had Jordan Almonds with the other kind for lunch," she admitted with a grin.  "You always were good, Arsene.  You'll make the Top Ten Most Wanted list before you're twenty, all of you will.  I know you will."

"Aww, mom!" she sighed.  "Don't embarrass me.  I'm at number thirty-five at the moment and you know a rep like that takes time to build.  Or in your case rebuild.   You leave Dad and Uncle Jigen to me, mom.  You go out and piss off a Sicilian for me.  'Kay?"

"Great idea," she agreed happily.  "Anything I should bring you?"

"How about a diamond so I can get my pendant back," she suggested dryly.

"I'll mail him one tomorrow," she promised.  "Have fun with your trip and give my love to your fathers.  They seem much more reasonable when they're in a different country and not pawing at my breasts.  On second thought, don't tell them that part, Arsene.  It'll only upset your father and he'll have a hissy."

"Sure, mom," she agreed, but you could tell she was grinning.  "You be safe and I'll give your hugs and wet, smacking, embarrassing kisses to the others.  Laters.  Gotta go plan this with 'Lis."  She hung up and ran out of her closet, running into the nice guy who was helping her now and then.  "Hey, Peter.  Is your dad at home?" she asked as she joined him on his stroll to the dining room.

"He should be, why?"

"Because I'm going to need a good captain for my boat.  Dad's in a flooded cell in Bali and Mom's back on this continent.  She offered me the chance to save him instead of her doing it," she said proudly.  "Can you dial him? I won't ask for his personal number or anything," she offered, holding out the phone.

He dialed and smiled at the woman who answered.  "Hey, Mom, it's Peter.  No, not a bad thing.  I haven't been kicked out."

"Tell her my mom said she'd try to get us into that special school next year."

"Arsene, Lupin the Fourth, said that her mom was going to put pressure onto her dad to get her into the academy next year.  No, she needs to talk to Dad.  Apparently her father's been captured and he's in a flooded cell in Bali.  Hey, Melissa," he called, catching sight of her.  "Come get in on this."

"Mom called.  Our dads have been captured and we're actually a bit closer than she is," she told her.

"Where?"

"Bali.  I was thinking the boat with a borrowed crew.  Doable?"

"Very," she agreed. "Who did it?"

"Uncle Ray.  The nice one from the conventions, not the other one."

She snorted.  "Will that man never learn," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "Let me make the reservations."  She trotted off, going to her room for her laptop.

Arsene took the held out phone.  "Thanks, Peter.  You're a great guy.  Wanna come with us to Bali?"  She listened to the tired voice on the other side of the line.  "I'm sorry to wake you, sir.  Yes, it is.  No, dad and Uncle Jigen f-ed up badly and were captured.  They're in a flooding cell and mom's not as close as we are so she offered us the chance.  Nope, all I need is a crew to do my boat.  It's on the US's west coast, in Oregon, but if you can get them to bring it down further it'd be faster since Dad's in Bali.  Yeah, the flooding caught them off guard and Uncle Ray got 'em over there.   Please?  Since I'll someday have to do jobs around him, it'd be very educational," she said, grinning at Peter, who burst out laughing.

"Fine, I'll only bring him back a hula girl or something," she agreed with a big grin.  "Yeah, I'll have Melissa send it and we'll be leaving soon.  Thanks, man, owe you tons.  No, Mom's on a job, though at the moment she's eating bon bons while she plans.  I just got off the phone with her.  No, her cell's stuck in one of the hideouts.  She forgot it, that's the other reason she called.  Thanks.  Love you, man. No, I promise I won't hit on Peter unless he looks like he wants it when we're both older," she promised.  "You too.  Have a happy nap."  She hung up and hugged him. "From your dad, who said I cannot hit on you, charm you, or bring you with me, but that a present would be just fine," she promised.  She heard a cough and saw a teacher staring at them.  "Hey.  I've got to check on my dads.  Mom's back on the continent but she can't get free at the moment, she's in the middle of a job, but the dads were in Bali, where it's horribly flooded.  She said she saw on the news where the house was washing away.  So, the older kids and I are leaving tonight and we'll be back in a week to a week-and-a-half."

"We'd need permission, young lady," she said firmly.

Arsene checked her phone log, then dialed the number.  "Here, talk to my mom," she ordered.  "Melissa's doing plane tickets and I'm going to gather the family boat."  She grinned at Peter.  "So, what should I bring you back if I have the time?"

"A hula girl would be nice," he agreed. "Should I tell Ishi and Lotus?"

"Yeah, I'll be taking them as a matter of habit," she agreed.  "Lotus was learning field medicine and Ishi's one handy guy to have around."  He nodded and strolled off, heading in to eat and tell the others what was going on.

The teacher hung up after having a quiet conversation and handed the phone back.  "Very well.  She said she can't possibly get a ride there to check on them so you may go.  I'll have the forms filled out in the office, Miss Lupin."

"Thanks, teach," she agreed with a bright grin.  "I'd better go eat.  It'll be a long night of packing and planning on getting to the boat."  She jogged into the dining hall and sat next to Lotus, who gave her a long look.  "She didn't mention your dad or the kids by name," she offered.

"I ducked out to check, he's in Japan moping.  What did she say to him?" she hissed.  Arsene whispered in her ear and Lotus moaned, holding her forehead.  "No wonder. Never mind.  We won't bother my dad or the kids.  Auntie Bix is now on vacation so he's got all the kids and he can't find her."

"That's fine," she agreed.  "If we have to, we can take the boat that way and have lunch or something."

"How big is your family yacht?" another girl asked her.

"A bit smaller than the QE2," she said proudly.  "I bought a used cruise ship.  It's in good condition, is quite roomy, and fairly useful as both a cover and as a base for criminal activities."  The girl looked stunned. "It needs some updating and some redecorating but I figure it'll be a long-term project and the ship's nowhere near ready to be retired yet.  Just last week I got estimates on how much it would cost to totally redecorate and make the suites bigger.  It'll only be a few million."

"Wow, and I thought my father's boat was braggable," she said in awe.  "Your dad let you buy that big of a ship?"

"Well, no, my dad doesn't know I have it," she admitted with a wicked grin.  "But what he doesn't know won't hurt him most of the time."  Lotus pinched her.  "Sorry, Lotus."

"Let the girl steal one giant ruby on a weekend off and she brags and brags and brags," Lotus said dryly.

"Hey, I did it without help, that counts for a lot," Arsene defended.  "Even daddy didn't want to go after it because it was so heavily guarded."

"I don't want to know," the other girl said quickly.  "That way I can't be forced to testify against you, ladies."

"Good point.  We'll get onto this on the boat," Arsene agreed, taking the potatoes when they were passed down. "Thanks, dears."  She loved to irritate the cheerleaders who sat up the table from them.  "Si, Sa, you guys coming with?"

"Nope," Savannah called back.  "I've got a chem test and I *have* to do good.  Kick my father in the knee for me though."

"Sure thing, little one."  She smirked at her.  "I am older," she said smugly.

"No you're not," Lotus snorted.  "She's older by about four hours.  Besides, Ishi and I are older than all of you."  She leaned closer. "Amanda was vowing vengeance on you for his hair earlier, be careful.  She can be quite mean and creative, plus he'd die if you hurt her back."

"I wouldn't worry," she said with a wink.  "She knew why I did it."

"Lupin!" Amanda shouted as she walked in. "I want to talk to you!"

She looked over and grinned. "You'll hate me more soon.  I've got to take Ishi to Bali to check on the house and the 'rents who were stuck over there."  Amanda pouted at her.  "Sorry, kiddo, but it's an emergency.  I'm sure he'll come back happy and relaxed, then you can help him by rubbing stuff into his scalp."  The nearby girls tittered and Amanda blushed.  "Sorry, didn't mean to get *you*," she offered with a grin.

"But he'll miss the convention," she complained.

"Nope, we'll be back the week before," she promised.  "Winds and airlines willing."

"Fine."  She took her usual seat next to Arsene.  "Is it bad?"

"Very.  Mom said she saw the house wash away on the news," she offered.  "Melissa's and my father are both still stranded over there."  She patted her on the hand. "I'll make sure he comes back in one piece and hopefully not limping this time."  Amanda nodded, looking  a bit more pleased about that.  She winked at her.  "Besides, think about all those nice things that Lotus could give you to help his hair grow that you'd need to massage onto his scalp."  Amanda echoed the wicked smirk and they both looked at Lotus, who had her mouth full but nodded.

***

The next evening, Arsene and the crew walked onto the ship, nodding politely at the captain.  "Is everything ready?" she asked briskly as she walked.

"Yes, ma'am," he said respectfully.  He had been briefed and he had briefed the crew.  "Bali, correct?"

"Yuppers.  Then we'll be taking the launch inland to get my dad and uncle back, then we'll skip back to the ship and we'll come back here, where I'll give you guys paychecks, airfare home, and any additional expenses," she offered.  He nodded, following her inside the ship.  "I'm still in the presidential suite?"

"Yes, ma'am, and I had all the girls clean the ship very well for you."

"Thanks, man, get under way as soon as we're ready.  We need to get moving."

"Yes, ma'am," he said respectfully.  He veered, heading up to the bridge to check on things one last time.  He usually did fishing trawlers, nothing this size.  Or this powerful.  This ship had good engines on it.  Maybe this would lead to a full time position.  He was very tired of fish and fishing.  As soon as the gangplank was up and the rails closed, he ordered the ship to back out of berth.  It was so smooth, he didn't even feel the engines.

***

Xander looked at the man across from her.  He was staring at her tits, but she wasn't going to hit him for it, yet.  "You called me here for a job, not to stare at me," she noted.  He moved his eyes lower.  "What did you need stolen?"

"An emerald from a local museum," he said, wincing when she crossed her legs.  That took all his fun away.  He looked at her face again.  "Why should I hire you above all the others?"

"Because I'm better than the others," she said smoothly.  "Or haven't you checked my references?"

"Oh, I have," he admitted, getting comfortable.  "No one seems to know where you came from.  Who are you?"

"Sylvia."

"Hmm, a hint of mystery.  You're not Oriental."

"Oriental is a type of rug," she said blandly.  "If you don't want to hire me, that's fine," she said as she stood up.  "I don't need your little emerald.  I've already got it."  She pulled it out with a smirk and flashed it a bit.  "See?  It'll be much more profitable if I sell it to someone else."  He gaped at her.  "As I said, I can do it because I'm better.  This is a reputation builder, not for the money."  She put it back into her pocket and turned away.  "Since you don't want me, I'll leave you to moan now."

"No, wait," he ordered, sitting up again.  "Why did you already steal it?"

She turned back to look at him.  "Because I could.  It was there, it was pretty, and it looked lonely.  I was thinking it'd be a great pendant on a necklace.  What do you think?"

"I don't think a fence would buy it off you," he said smugly.  "They know I'm looking to steal it."

She let out a warm sounding chuckle.  "I've never done a fence wrong.  They know me quite well.  They'd probably sell it back to you."  She smirked at him.  "Either way I win."

"Are you related to Lavelle?" he demanded, standing up.

"Why, yes, I am," she said smugly.  "Do you know my brother?"  He gaped and whimpered, sitting down again.  "For that matter, I'm Lupin the Fourth's mother, dear.  I don't *need* to do this.  I'm bored and you're an easy way out of boredom.  Your choice of course."  She walked closer to the desk, leaning over.  "Just don't tell Fujiko.  She gets a bit...hot about me now and then.  Throws fits in public and I like her kids too much to make them see that."  He swallowed so she stood up again.  "Your call.  Going.  Going."

"Fifty percent of the worth," he offered quickly.  He wanted that emerald.  His wife wanted it and she was his world.  She appeared to be considering it.  "It's a better offer than any fence would give you and it'll save me money too.  I can easily vouch for you being as good, if not better, than Lavelle is.  You've only got one recommendation on your side at the moment."

She pulled it out then tossed it over.  "Cash or bearer bonds."

"Cash, American," he promised, going to his safe to pull it out.  It was a lot cheaper than he had expected to pay.   He laid the stacks of cash on the desk.  "Half the value of the most recent appraisal."   She silently counted it then put it into her purse.  "I heard Lupin the Fourth was a myth," he said gently, smirking at her.

"Nope, not even close."  She gave him a smug look.  "She and her ferret, Lupin the Fifth, are on their way to rescue her father since I'm here.  Check the bulletin boards, she likes to lurk on her father's.  Besides, it'll do you good, sweetie.  You would have expected me if you had been."  She tipped her chin down slightly in a parting nod.  "A pleasure doing business and all that stuff.  If you need me, put out a shout for me."  She turned and left, walking out slowly and calmly.  That man hated Lavelle with every fiber of his being. He had put out a hit on him a few months back because he was gay and powerful.  He was scared of him.  Of her?  Well, apparently he wasn't quite as monogamous as he claimed.  To her he was just another link in the chain of her reputation.  She checked her car before getting into it, then headed for the airport.  He wasn't that sneaky, but he was that mean.  He might try to hurt her, but that would give her the excuse she needed to blow his ass up.  Unfortunately she made it onto the plane without incident so she'd have to unwind by having sex, one way or another.

***

Arsene walked up to the guard at the entrance to the cell block.  "I'm here on a court- ordered psychiatric consult."

He looked down at her. "Nice try, kid."

"I'm not a child, I'm a prodigy," she corrected stiffly, handing over the paperwork.  "We're getting his brain when he dies so we need to pick it before hand.  If you don't let me in, I'll have to get Interpol to intercede and that'll only be a mess."  She adjusted her glasses then patted her hair to make sure it was in place.

"Funny, it's the Interpol guy who said no one gets in there," he said, handing them back.  They looked real enough to him.  "He threw a real fit about no one going in there unless they had a badge."

She sighed and pulled out her faked FBI credentials.  "How's this?  I work with them as a profiler."  Which was a great show, she had learned all her psychology stuff from it.

"I guess," he sighed.  "They're in a really wet cell though, and you're still kinda small."

"Not an issue," she promised.  "I went to college on a diving scholarship."  She walked past him, heading for where she could hear Jigen complaining.  "Oh, shut up," she snapped, startling the others in the cell.  "Special Agent Cook, boys, back your unhappy, sloppy asses from the thieves and against the back wall."  They sneered at her so she pulled out a cattle prod.  "You're in water, this is electric.  Got the point?"  They backed off quickly, not wanting electrocuted.  She noticed two other heads bobbing her way and smirked at him.  "Well, if it isn't Lupin the Third and his buddy Jigen," she said dryly.  "All alone?  Is Sylvia eating bon bons and tired of your shit?"

"If she is, can I spank her until she pleads for mercy?" Jigen asked bitterly.

"Sure, anything you want, babe.  You know that.  Now, let's get down to the real business at hand.  Some serious mental probing of your anal retentive ways."  Jigen gave her a horrified look.  "What?  Did you expect something else?  Perhaps like an Ishi movement?"  Their eyes widened as the roof fell in behind them and a ladder came down.  "Guards, the murderers are trying to escape.  They pushed Lupin and Jigen under the water," she shouted, running back toward him.  "The ceiling caved."

He grimaced and put out the call, then led her back to safety.  "You should wait here."

She gave him a horrified look.  "I want a fucking drink!  They were threatening me!"  She stomped off. "I'll be in my hotel."

"How did you get here?" he called after her.

"I rowed!" she said dryly, smirking at him.  "A yacht.  I borrowed it from a friend and put it in the marina."  She shrugged.  "It's the only way."  He nodded, grimacing again.  "I hope you catch them.  I'm going to be safely hiding.  One of them said he likes to fuck things my size into bleeding comas."  He shuddered and she made her escape then.  She trotted past Ray on her way out and kept going, muttering to herself.

Ray stopped, looked back at her, then opened his mouth before running inside. "Open the cell," he ordered as he ran.  "That was Lupin the Fourth!"  The guard gave him a horrified look.  "I told you no one without a real badge!" he said, hitting him.  "Damn it!  They're escaping!"

"She said they were pushed under the water."

"She's Lupin's daughter, of course she did!" he shouted, heading out to check the grounds and follow them if possible.

"Inspector, I'm heading to the marina," one of the officers yelled.  "Coming?"

"Yeah," he said, running for his car to get in and go with him.  That was the only way off this island at the moment.  She had to have come by boat.

Arsene stepped out of the cab she had waiting on her, tipping him generously.  "Go hide for the day, man.  You never saw me," she ordered, pulling down her hair.   He nodded and sped off.  She ran for the launch, getting stopped by a couple of white, older, desperate looking people. "What?" she asked impatiently.

"You have a boat, can we hitch a ride to the nearest port?" the wife asked.  "We only want to go that far and we'll help all we can.  We don't know a thing about boats but we can't stay.  Our kitten, Muffy, is at the vet's and she hates it."

"Ask my father," she ordered, leading the way.  "Dad?"

He looked up, blinking at the people.  "I thought you had a ferret as a pet," he said dryly.

"We only need a ride to the next port we can catch a flight from," the husband pleaded.

Lupin looked at his daughter.  "Do you have room on the boat?"

"Yeah, of course I do."  She shrugged. "I leave that in your hands.  I left Melissa back there, Uncle Jigen.  She and Lotus both."  She climbed in.  "If you're coming, come right now," she ordered.  They ran for their bags and came back to climb in with them.  "Go, Ishi."

"Ishi, what happened to your hair?" Jigen asked, wringing out his hat.  He got a growl in response so he left it at that.  "How are we getting home?"

"The boat," Arsene said, pointing at it as they rounded a curve on the shore.  Both fathers gaped.  "I thought it was cute and practical," she informed them.  "Plus we have hot water and clothes for you both, dads."

"Oh, are you gay?  I think that's a wonderful lifestyle," the wife told Lupin.

Lupin started to open his mouth but settled for shaking his head. "No, they're in a trio with my mom," Arsene told her with a bright grin.  "She was a bit busy though and couldn't come this time.  Next time though."  They pulled up alongside the ship and climbed up the ladder, letting the elderly couple in front of them.  "Guys, show them to a stateroom on the 'E' deck. It'll be safer and Melissa's greeting squeal won't be heard.  They're being dropped at the next port with a working airport."

"It'll only take us two and a half days to get back to the US," one of the crew noted.

"Sure, why not.  Go ahead and settle in.  It's a private ship," she assured them, leading her fathers on. "Come on, you'll want to get warm and dry.  We've got Goemon on speed dial for you."

"Goemon?" the husband gasped.  "You're thieves?"

Arsene smirked at him.  "I'm Lupin the Fourth.  Don't worry, I'm a thief, not a pirate."  He nodded and followed his wife quickly.  "Oh, well, that was my good deed for the year," she noted, dragging them to their suite.  "Get underway as soon as Lotus is onboard," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," the crew agreed.

"Where did Lotus go?" Lupin asked.

"Presents.  I promised to try to sneak a hula girl back to the school for Peter.  Dad, did you know how bad that school was?  Can't we *please* go to St. Lascivious?"

"It's a reform school," Lupin told her, patting her on the head.  He headed for one shower, Jigen headed for the other one he could hear started.  "Do we have robes or anything?"

"Full outfits in the closets," Melissa offered.  "The showers should be running hot."

"Bless you, daughter.  Someday give me grandkids," Jigen said before closing the door.

Lupin the Fourth sat down and put her feet up, looking at Ishi.  "Any word from Lotus?"

"Yeah, she's on her way back," he admitted.  "The launch got taken back.  No hula girl so she found him a statue."  He saluted her with his bottle of soda.  "Another brilliant, yet mindless adventure for the next generation of the gang."

"Oh, I don't know," Lupin said as she emptied her pockets onto the table, making the others gape in awe.  "I stopped to do some shopping too.  She was frightfully nice," she added in her best Brit accent.  "Quite a gentle soul.  My anklet was on her dog's neck.   Speaking of, where is the Fifth?"

"In my dad's bedroom," Melissa told her dryly.  "He'll be screaming any minute now."  They waited until he had, then grinned at Lotus when she came in.  "Get it all?"  She looked outside and noticed the boat was moving.  "Good timing."

"Thanks, I had to slip past Uncle Ray.  He was hopping around and nearly having a coronary."  She flopped down, handing over the shopping bags.  "Any of that ours?"

"Split up the two necklaces, I don't like them," Arsene said with a negligent wave of her hand.  She looked inside the bags, smirking at the puzzle books, the deck of cards, and magazines.  "Good job."  She pulled out her magazine, Scientific American, and settled in to read it.  "Hey, it's got something in here on DNA, remind me to show Savannah."

"Sure," Ishi said, handing over a soda as first Lupin came out and then Jigen with a wet ferret.  "Arsene, I think you'll have to blow dry him again."

She accepted the towel and her baby, patting him dry while she read the article.  "Bag has things to do if you're bored.  Food's in the dining hall, which is one floor down and halfway to the other end of the ship.  Mom was in Italy but you never know where she went.  She said she was doing a job.  Plus she was eating bon bons while she was sitting on a porch."

"What did we do this time?" Jigen sighed as he sat down.

"You treated her like she was the wife, not a fellow thief," Arsene said patiently.  "I'm going to get a tape recorder to remind you of this daily, Unc.  You might wanna call Goemon. He's a bit bitter and feeling ancient.  His knees creaked this morning."  She turned the page, then went back to drying her familiar.  "He's also feeling like the world's stepparent again."

"Thank you for the timely save, daughter," Lupin said, kissing the top of her head.  "What's your mother's new number?"

"Not a clue, she called me," Arsene told him, being half honest.  Her father took the magazine and hit her on the head with it.  "Hey!  Grumpy asshole, get laid sometime."  Her baby squeaked as she shifted to get it back, then settled in with a heated glare for the grandfather as he went back to being dried off.

"That's it, I'm taking the cable linkups from the houses," Lupin decided.

"Gee, dad, then I'd have to find some other way to entertain myself and so would mom when she comes back.  Gee, how would I do that?" she mused.  "I'm not quite old enough to have sex yet.  I could train extra hard I guess, like Ishi and mom do.  Or I guess I could take up reading and writing my porn instead of watching it."  She glared at him.  "Then again, I could always start to annoy the fuck out of you guys again," she said suggestively.

"That's why someone smart made year-round schools," Jigen reminded her.

"Let me guess, one of those supposedly good, Godly people thought those up?" Melissa asked.

"Nah, let's talk about Military school," Lupin said smugly.  "I know of a few that are year- round and have an automatic enlistment at the end."  He glared at his daughter.

"Then who would show up to do the timely rescues?" she asked smugly.

"Your mother," the older generation said in unison, while the other kids mimicked them.

"Only if she talks to you guys again," Ishi pointed out. "Since she's out pulling jobs right now, I'd say that chance is relatively slim."  The older men both stared at him.  "It was rather obvious.  She didn't get into this life to be the sex slave of the Emperor of Crime.  Or the princess to his prince."  He sipped his soda.  "Arsene, how's he doing on the male thing?"

"I got the feeling that she's resigned to never getting out of the choker," she admitted.  "It's like this is some punishment for her being good at what she's chosen to do."

"She always put that on of her own free will," Lupin said firmly.

"Yeah, but she put it on for *you*," Arsene reminded him.  "Not because he really wanted to be female.  For that matter, she's been saying things about how she knows Lavelle won't have a rep left by the time she's out of it, that's why she's rebuilding hers."

"Lavelle isn't unknown," Jigen protested.

"In our line of work, reputations often come with a 'best if used by date', yes?" Ishi asked.  Lupin groaned but he nodded.  "Isn't that date something like nine or ten months?  The earliest she can get out of that is a year."

"So of course she's rebuilding her reputation.  The only thing they knew of her before was that she was Lupin's new lady," Melissa finished from behind her book.  "Now she's got her own name, people recognize her, and she's proven herself wonderfully by not killing a few people who deserved it for the way they looked at her.  Oh, Arsene, you asked her to piss off a Sicilian for you.  She has.  She was called to a job but she refused to walk into the church earlier.  Pissed him off to no end, even when she told him she didn't do churches.  She would do restaurants, theaters, parking garages, parks, etc, but not churches.  He asked why she hated the church, so she told him how they were more evil than most of the demons she knew, and told him why."  She sipped her soda.  "Did you know my grandparents were cultists?"

"No, but it makes perfect fucking sense," Jigen said bitterly.  "What's she trying to do now?"

"They wanted her to whack someone in the head for daring to have thoughts of not being a nun.  A friend was having his daughter buy his way into a better afterlife.  So mom went to talk to the girl and told her exactly what was going on.  She agreed to go in as a novitiate but now that she knows what's going on she'll be able to hide better when she comes out."  She finished her soda and put it aside.  "Toss me another, Ishi, not literally?"

"Sure," he agreed, bringing one over to her. "Better?"

"Much.  I've got a craving for sweets today for some reason."

Arsene noticed both men looked horrified.  "We're not old enough for that reason yet," she said.  Lotus hung up the phone and walked back over to join them.  "How's your dad?"

"Tired of being a father," she admitted as she sat down.  "He said if Xander got this every day then he wanted to bow at her feet because she's got to be a Goddess to have put up with all of us.  Kenji learned a word today, no.  And he means it each and every time he scowls it at his father."

"We were all like that," Ishi said placidly.  "Can't we go faster?"

"Sweetie, we're on a cruise ship, not on a race boat," Arsene reminded him.  "It's not that long before we get back and you can grope Amanda."

"I haven't *groped* her," he defended, scowling at her.  "I've only hugged her a few times."

"A few *dozen* times," Lotus corrected, smirking at him.  "And pray tell, why were you in the girls' dorms recently?"

"Because you were having nightmares," he snapped back.  "She lives in a different dorm."

"That's probably the only thing that kept you from being expelled," Arsene reminded him.  "Hey, Dad, can't I please cap a teacher?"

"No," he said patiently.  "You can only make them want to retire, daughter.  Why?"

"Because he was insistent that you don't exist, that Russia won the Cold War with the help of Martians, and that ferrets are mythical beings, like seahorses."

"Seahorses are real," Lotus assured her.

"I know that.  I saw them at the aquarium the same as you did."  She gave Lotus a nudge with her foot.  "Behave."

"I'm not the one who usually needs that advice," Lotus said dryly.  "I'm not the one who broke into the Headmistress' closet and had the kids dye her clothes so they were bright pink."

"She needed happier clothes," Arsene defended. "Besides, she didn't like my hairbow."  She looked at her father again.  "Just the one?  I can handle everything else."

Jigen snickered.  "You're so bad, Arsene.  What else have you done?"

She smirked at him.  "Oh, you'd be pissed if you knew," she promised.  She smirked at her father.  "It seems that the headmistress and the gym coach are going at it."  She sipped her soda and petted her ferret.  "We mined their favorite trysting spot with cameras and broadcast them *all* over the school on the educational tvs.  It happens that a few of the other teachers have taped it for their own amusement.  She tried to blame it on Melissa, but Melissa had a rock-solid alibi, science class.   The only kids who didn't are the nerd patrol and their study hall is at that same moment and she wouldn't *dream* of one of them doing it."

"She did her 'wanna be scary' stomping in front of her desk like a drill sergeant while glaring at us thing," Lotus finished.  "We never did cave and they broke up.  Which is kinda nice because they made one ugly couple."

"Are we talking Dursley ugly, Simpsons ugly, or inbred clan members ugly?" the elder Lupin asked.

"The first and the third together," she assured him.  "He looks like that too.  Inbred, fat - and we're not talking biological condition or medical condition, we're talking never was muscle fat, like seven tons of ho-hos fat -, and she's that toothpick, sourpuss that you met and left us in the care of.  Did you know that she's got fantasies of killing us already?" Arsene asked smugly.  "She told her shrink that."

"How did you find that out?" Jigen asked.

"Easy, I broke into his office after he tried to mentally retard my growth through therapy.  He thought I should want to be a society wife," she snorted, patting her baby's head.   "I told him that it would be a waste of my natural gifts and brilliance, plus that he had the wrong sister."

"He wasn't impressed with any of us," Lotus reminded her.  "He's simply found whole new reasons to persecute women."  She got comfortable and stole the ferret to help dry him off.  "There, this way you get all the attention, Fifth."  It burrowed into her lap and got comfortable under the towel and the gentle fingers.

"I still say he had a problem with his mother," Melissa offered.  "I mean it's pretty clear cut.  He's petrified that some woman will take his place as head dick of the school, what little status he's been able to earn through his long career of failures.  He tries to repress women back into Victorian roles that were a fairytale then.  He preaches morality to the girls who are good and tries to bang the older girls who aren't, then blackmails them to keep them quiet.  If this were the US, I'd say he'd be a televangelist, but we're still in France."

"How very Freudian of you, daughter," Jigen noted, giving her an odd look.

"If you remove Freud from his timeline and bring him forward into women's lib, he does explain some things. Penis envy isn't about wanting the organ, it's about wanting what having the organ automatically entitles you to.  Including better salaries, better jobs, and better hauls from fences if you want to think about it.  Oedipus isn't exactly correct I think, but then again I've never been in love with my mother that way.  Or you, dad, sorry."

"Not a problem," he agreed.  "It'd make me ill if you had been."

"I still think it's a matter of reference.  If you believe that saying 'I love you' can only mean carnal love, even if it's between siblings or child and parent, then that's all you realize," Lotus pointed out.  "That's why you can cross Freud with Symbolic Interactionism and get some really good points going."

"Yes, but Symbolic Interaction fails in some modern regards as well," Melissa pointed out.  "With the way we've standardized so much of the world, there's not much left to personally define.  Take the color blue.  Most kids think it's crayola blue.  Their parents held up a blue crayon and said blue until it was pounded into the kid's head.  At least ours pointed at the sky, the water, and all sorts of things and told us that they were all blue.  SI people don't think about the standardization.  They don't realize that most people want it black or white because gray makes them uneasy. "

"It's the sheep mentality," Arsene agreed.  "You're still making my head hurt.  Plus, some of us can take part in both worlds.  I like crayola blue."

"Whereas I like the color of surf at midnight," Lotus agreed.  "She's right, some people do stride the defining gulf.  They're probably the mid-level and upper level managers.  The true leaders are those who see gray in all it's many shades, and the good ones see the shades that don't relate to their worldview.  Take all of the world leaders and look at their present views of the African cultures.  Most of them see poor people who are either there to be exploited, or there to be poor and pitiful.  Then there are the very rare few who see them as dynamic cultures who can do everything that they need to if they've not been screwed out of their resources and there's no invading army of Westerners there to tell them how to do things their way.  That mono-view of the world is what's the real problem in the world today.  Live and let live, and help them live only if they need and want it."

"Exactly.  Culture isn't political, it's social.  The political should only come when necessary, for when great changes are needed.  Like with Civil Rights," Melissa agreed.

"You're forgetting, dears.  We feed on those people with single-vision eyesight and narrow worldviews," Arsene put in. "It's those sort who make themselves targets by their consumption of stuff they shouldn't have.  Why did that guy in Japan have all those African masks when he's not African, doesn't like Africans or Africa, and thought that the only purpose to them was to be exotic?  To be a showman, to show how much he thought he knew of the world.  And when one of them turned out to be someone's tribal totem, well, he paid for it with his life."  Her father held up a finger.  "Yokohama newspaper, dad."  She looked at her sisters again.  "The sad fact is that those supposed sharks are the ones that we feed off of.  We don't feed off the masses, or those who can see some of it.  We feed off those who have the mono-vision down to an artform and make it look hip and popular, or we feed off those who think they know it all and love to flaunt it.  Mostly we do it because they have ungodly taste in artifacts that they chose to steal from others or in the status symbols that they use to prove their worth to the world.  I'm sorry, if your only worth to the world is to drive around in a Dodge Viper, a corvette, or a ferarri, have hair plugs, and a fake tan so you can pick up pretty young women, then what are you doing for the rest of your life?  It's like beauty queens and prom queens.  If that's your only ambition in life, to win a pageant that says you're prettier than the other girls, then what do you do after that's gone?"

"Do *you* feel like we just stepped into some odd criminal's classroom on ethics?" Lupin asked Jigen.  Jigen considered it, then nodded.  "Girls, way too deep here.  You're kids, act like kids."

"Sure, dad," Arsene said, smirking at Melissa before letting out a girlish, ear-piercing squeal.  "Did you *see* what Bryon had in gym class?  He was nearly *hanging out* of his shorts!" she said excitedly.

"Sorry, sis, I saw and had it offered to me," Melissa said smugly.  "He likes brains."

Lotus snorted.  "He likes to break in virgins," she corrected. "He's been through half the school.  I'm surprised if it wasn't about to fall off with the amount of exercise that thing gets."

"Never mind, please go back to the other one before I have nightmares," Jigen ordered. "Melissa, you have my permission to kick his ass."

"Too late," Ishi said smugly, smirking at him.   Everyone stared at him.  "He tried for Amanda.  I hear the choir teacher was impressed that someone in the school was a soprano.  He offered me the chance to do it again before the next recital if we could get him on pitch."

"I'm thinking those neat weights I found in that catalog would ensure it," Arsene offered.  "Say, fifteen pounds?"

"Daughter, no torture," Lupin said firmly.  "We raised you better than that.  At the very least Xander and Goemon have," he admitted when she looked at him.

"Mom pierced a guy with a set the other day," Melissa told him.  "He tried to hit on her and forgot to look up the word 'no'.  From what I hear, Gramps was wincing and crossing his legs during the whole interview.  Even the judge decided he had been punished enough."  She went back to her reading.  "Ar, have you done the history homework?"

"Nope, I can't figure out how to work the Martians into Watergate," she admitted.  She noticed her father was giving her an odd look.  "He said they were.  He said the last president to resist them was Kennedy because his faith was so strong."

"I'm still looking for some excellent manips," Ishi noted.  "Ones of the bros on Mars, through the eyes of a rover."  Everyone stared at him.  "Biker Mice From Mars?  The big, hairy things that Mom goes as sometimes?"

"Sorry, Ishi, but he said the Roswell Grays had to be Martian.  'Why would anyone come all the way from Alpha Centauri to anal probe anyone' was his exact reason."

Lupin shook his head.  "I think I need a drink now.  Jigen?"

"Beer me," he ordered.

"Daddy, are you having one of those American manly man moments?" Melissa asked.  "You never drink beer."

"You girls probably didn't order wine."

"There's six bottles in the second minibar, which is under the window seat," Arsene said, going back to her article.  "There's also a magnum of champagne for us since we pulled off our first solo rescue mission.  Plus I sent Auntie Dawn decadent chocolates guaranteed to make her fatter.  That way Uncle Zenny wouldn't get any while she lazed around in the bathtub."  She turned the page, going back into the detailed description.  "Man, this mitochondrial DNA is really hard to catch."

"You'll have to use plastic cups unless you can find some hidden glassware in the kitchen," Ishi informed them.  "The crew has a keg for after-hours in the dining hall."

"I was nice enough to order them Miller or Budweiser, one of those skunk-piss German imitation beers," Melissa noted.  "They're working guys so I didn't think they'd go for microbrews or the good, strong German beers that are guaranteed to clean your kidneys and bladder."

"They sure cleared up my last UTI," Ishi agreed.

"Does your dad know you drink?" Jigen asked.

"No, but it was Mom who gave it to me," he said smugly.  "Better than any antibiotics or cranberry juice."

"It had better be.  She gave you some of the strongest rotgut stuff she could find.  Like dockworkers turn away from that stuff for being too strong rotgut," Lotus explained at the helpless looks on Lupin and Jigen's faces.

"I wondered why we kept a bottle of that around," Lupin said, looking at Jigen.   "That stuff's worse than mixing Mad Dog 20/20 and lighter fluid, which we did to create one hell of a bonfire once and I got drunk off the fumes."

"It's okay, dad, we know that you've experiment with drugs and alcohol in your life," Arsene assured him.  "That's why I'm gonna come ask you what things are like.  Do you think I'll like pot or acid more?"

"Find out and watch my foot go up your ass, Arsene," Jigen said firmly.

"You know, I never did acid," Lupin admitted.  "I tried pot a few times.  It was kinda nice but I was always hungry for *days*.  Coke didn't do much for me, I'm already too hyper for my own good.  I bounced a lot more from what others told me.  'Shrooms were kinda fun in a foggy, fuzzy, 'the world's a pastel umbrella' sort of way."  His daughter gave him a look.  "Ask your mother.  She got exposed to acid and pot in her youth.  Someone baked some acid brownies."

"How?" Melissa asked.  "It'd wear out the chemicals in the cooking process."

"They sprayed it afterwards," Lupin told her, getting comfortable.  "How's the food?"

"Soup," Ishi told him.  "Stew, chili.  I brought you fussy people some light cheese and bread from the launching.   I also brought a box of Nutty Buddies and a few twinkies."

"I added fritos, triscuits, and dip," Melissa offered.

"I brought veggies and dip," Lotus added.

Arsene looked at them.  "I brought microwave pizzas.  I can't live without pizza for very long.  There's also some deli ham but I didn't bring sandwich bread so you'll have to eat fussy people sandwiches like they do at parties."

"Hey, suits me," Jigen agreed, getting up to get them something to eat.  They hadn't eaten in a day or two.

"Did you remember to change the tape, Arsene?" Lotus asked.

"Yup, sure did.  I even got the x-ray filter onto the camera too.  I'm sure Peter will like the x-ray pictures of the hula girls.  No clothes is kinda neat to watch, just like in the airports."

"When did you guys have time to be tourists?" Jigen asked, turning to glare at her.  "You left us in there longer?"

"We got in late last night, did a few sweeps of the area, reconned the jail, then went to watch hula girls and eat dinner while we planned.  Then we spent a quiet night back here and came for you after we all woke up."  She smirked at him. "Did you expect us to not scout and walk in blind?"

"No," he agreed bitterly.  "You still could have found a way out sooner."

"Uncle Ray was sleeping outside your cell last night.  We had to distract him by Ishi appearing while he was scouting breakfast.  So he followed genius boy over there until he got lost, then Ishi rejoined me."

"Good enough," Lupin agreed.  "It's what we'd do too, as long as someone wasn't going to die right then."

"Speaking of, I want someone to look at that scrape on your back," Jigen ordered.

"Sorry, only Lotus onboard with medical skills," Arsene sighed.  "Can it wait two days?"

"Yes, daughter, it can," Lupin assured her. "It's just wet and damp.  I put some neosporin on it and it should be fine."

"Let me look at it, uncle."  He moved his shirt, letting her see the bad scrape up his back.  "I've got some mask for our skin that could be useful.  I'll pull it out later, before bed.  Then you can cover it and sleep like that."

"Thanks, Lotus, you're a peach," Jigen said with a grin.  "You wanna go ta medical school?"

"No thanks," she said dryly.  "Why suffer through all that pressure?"

"Good point," Arsene agreed happily.  "Otherwise we'd have to bug her all the time anyway."

Lupin and Jigen shared a look.  Then they smirked at each other.  Their kids were pretty neat, for being kids.

***

Xander looked over as someone approached her table, giving them a long look. "What?" she asked finally.

"Wanted to talk to you," Vecchio admitted as he sat down.  "Fujiko's still listening for news and it's not getting back to her."

"On purpose."

"Good."  He grinned at her.  "Having fun?"

"Yeah.  It's about time I proved that I'm more than their love slave."

"Which you seem to do really well.  We can't prove it was you on anything that you've done.  Even when we've followed you around."  She smirked at him.  "Don't be that happy.  Lupin landed last night.  Zenigata flew over to catch them coming back.  They left the ship and headed for the airport.  Arsene paid the crew in cash so they could get home or stay, either one."

"That's my girl," she said proudly.

"Fine, you're proud of her.  She was damn dangerous, Xander.  That cell was really flooded.  The guys couldn't touch the floor anymore.  Plus she let out the murderers."

"That's why Lotus stayed behind," she said wisely.  "She made sure they got caught again."  He looked stunned.  "I did teach the kids most everything I know and I'm a good planner, Ray.  I can't play chess, but I'm damn good at battle plans."

"Fine, if you're not worried," he agreed lightly.  "Still, we've got to talk about this Fujiko thing."

"Sure."  She sipped her wine, smiling at him.  "You know, I could use a good second in command."  His mouth opened and he whimpered.  "Really."

"You'd do better with the other one," Benny said as he joined them.  "Xander."

"Sylvia," she corrected.

"Fine."  He sat down, looking at her.  "She's called for your extermination because you're standing in her way."

She smirked at him.  "She has no idea."

"Probably not," Ray agreed.  "That's why we're here.  We thought you might like to... help."

"Ooh," she moaned, shivering.  "I'm very helpful."  She pulled something out of her purse and pushed it over to him with a wink.  "Some piccies."  She stood up.  "I've already ordered dinner, eat.  You both look tired."  She strolled out, heading out to her car.  She'd have to call her kids later tonight to warn them about Fujiko getting ready to act.  Not that she wasn't going to show her hand well before she was ready, but they've been busy and she didn't want the kids not to know these things.  She walked into her apartment and paused when she saw who was reading on her couch.  "Breaking and entering is so beneath you, Lupin," she said, closing the door.  "Having a good time reading fashion magazines?"

"Not really," he admitted, looking at her.  "But I figured this was the only way to get to see you.  You're a busy woman."

"Yes, I am."  She sat across from him, crossing her legs demurely.  "Do you blame me?"

"Nope."  He grinned at her. "Then again, I've been listening to some of your reputation and I believe that there's a better spot for you.  You see, I seem to be without one of my gunmen and the person who was my secondary planner.  We usually do four to six jobs a year, travel extensively, and travel is paid for," he offered.

"And for that pleasure I do what?"

"You work with the team, Xander.  Speaking of, where is my tithe?"

"What tithe?" she snorted.  "I'm not working for you right now.  I'm working on my own.  You said I didn't have to."

"Yes, but you used my name to restart your rep," he said smugly.

"No, I used Lavelle's at one point when someone asked me if we were related, and one other person knows that I'm Arsene's mother," she corrected firmly.  "Nothing else about you."

"They both lead back to me."

"They lead back to God too, doesn't mean I claimed him.  I did get asked if Jigen trained me.  I did send him a small tithe for that job."  She crossed her legs in the other direction, curling up in her chair.  "Sorry, Lupin, but I built my own rep.  The Don in Paris gave me a reference when I asked and that was all I needed.  I pulled a few lower level jobs and moved up from there.  As of this moment, no one even associates me with you, except for those who know that I'm Arsene's mother."

He grimaced, staring at her.  "Why have you been eating pop tarts?"  She looked confused.  "You've done about six million in jobs recently and you're living on pop tarts and pasta.  That's poor times food, not for when things are doing well."

"Usually I'm too tired to cook, or I eat out," she pointed out.

"Bull. You haven't been seen in a restaurant except for tonight.  Speaking of, Vecchio now?"

"Fujiko's moving against me."

"Oh."  He scowled for a moment, then relaxed again.  "The offer is only good for a short time, Sylvia, but I do demand obedience to the corporate structure."  He stood up.  "We're heading for Beijing next.  You could join us."

She stood up and went to her desk, pulling out something and handing it over.  "If you're going after that, it's not there anymore," she said smugly, heading into her bedroom to change.  This apartment wasn't so bad.   She left the door open on purpose.  "Now, if you're really interested in hiring me, I come with high maintenance things," she offered. "I want a twenty percent cut, I get to do solo jobs when we're not doing things, and I get some respect as a thief in my own right."

Lupin looked up from the book he had planned on stealing next month, then leaned back to look in the bedroom.  "Twenty?  There's four of us already."

"There's three of you.  You, Jigen, and Goemon.  Marcus earns ten percent."

"He earns fifteen."

"Since when?"

"Since you left," he said bitterly.  He got up, walking into the bedroom.  "If you don't take it up, we'll have to do something about your stuff."

"I packed most of it," she assured him, sliding into her lounging pajamas before turning to look at him.  "Sorry, bras still bother me."  She lounged on the bed.  "I'm a thief and a damn good hitter, Lupin.  I'm as good as Jigen, the occasional insecurity and all."  He nodded.  "Now, why would I want to do something that keeps me from doing the job I chose?"

"I'm not offering you your old job as my girl," he said dryly.  "I figure you're having a women's lib moment and you'll come back."

She slid off the bed and walked him over to the other closet, opening it.  Then she pulled out the trunk in there and handed him the keys from the top shelf.  "It's not a women's lib moment, Lupin.  It's proof that I'm worthy of my title and being part of the world."  She lounged again, watching as he opened it.  He gaped at the contents, then at her, picking up the silk kimono that was lying on top.  "It wasn't that hard," she noted.  "I'm damn good, Lupin.  I like being good at things.  I'm a kick ass parent, but I am more than that.  Now, if you want me to hire onto the team, I will."

"You know that they've put out a manhunt for this alone?"

She nodded.  "It's being sent back tomorrow.  I did it to prove I could."

He closed the trunk, turning to look at her.  "Fine, you're good.  You're more than worthy of being on the team. You deserve your own share of the cut instead of a share of my cut.  You're not a student and you're not only my girl.  Happier now?"

"Quite.  What else did you have planned this year?  Because if you don't have a target, I might," she offered.  "It was going to be another proof job."

He sat on the edge of her bed, staring at her.  "Those sort of jobs get you attention.  You need to stay out of limelight."

"Lupin, they couldn't prove I did it before," she pointed out dryly.   "Ray admitted as much earlier.  Now, if you don't want me to, I won't go hit the Vatican's collections."  He nodded, staying calm.  "Then let's work out the details.  I deserve a full cut.  At least ten percent of the cut."

"You do," he agreed.  "Jigen may not like having his portion cut down."

"Jigen won't be minding that much," she pointed out.  "With me there, that gives him more time to relax and be a dad at times and lets us go for harder and more worthy jobs.  Or even more fun jobs for the hell of it.  I've wanted to go to the comic museum for years now and find a certain issue, but it's not exactly done."

"No, your friends would kill you," he agreed, sliding back to get comfortable staring at her. "You're not the same, Xander, and I miss you."

"No, Lupin, you miss that soft little princess you created.  To do the job, I have to be like this sometimes.  I'm still her, but in matters of business it's different."  He slumped and nodded.  "You wanted me to be this way knowing that it was possible that I couldn't get out of this thing for years on end.  I've accepted that fate.  I may never be male again.  Even if Janus finishes with his expansion project, he may never let me go.   I cause way too much chaos in this form for him to not enjoy me like this.  That means I've got to take care of my own future."

"We'll be there," he pointed out bitterly.

"Yeah, because you're immortal?" she asked coolly.  He shook his head.  "This is my reputation, Lupin.  I want the same respect for my gifts.  I worked damn hard to get this good this fast.  I liked the respect I had before."

"Even if we died, you'd have the family fortunes until the kids were adult," he offered. "They'd make sure you were taken care of."

"Arsene, with our lives, they may not live to adulthood.  I may not live to see them get that far and you're about as likely as I am to go by then."  He shuddered.  "I want the respect I had before.  I had it as Lavelle, and a good rep.  Then I took some time off to be soft and nice, so that started to fade.  I worked on getting it back and did really good.   I had a good rep when I changed.  I had a rep that most crooks would kill for.  I was near the top of the heap of soloists and one of your people.  I got as far up as I really wanted to go and sat there.  No one ever dared to threaten me.  No one ever really wanted to face me down.  I actually got to the point where my rep was good enough that it talked people out of trying me, and by extension you.  I want that back again and it's ten times harder for a woman to reach that spot.  I've already been asked what I'm going to be doing for the summer vacations."

"You'll be with us," he said firmly.  "The kids can go on training stuff under our watchful gaze and you can run some of those.  I agree, you're damn good."  He stared in her eyes, noticing the one was dilated.  "What happened to your good eye?"

"Hmm?  Oh, I had some special wine earlier.  I'm guessing someone tried to drug me but I'm a bit more immune from it.  Otherwise I'd probably be sucking you off right now."

"No, I wouldn't let you do that," he assured her, shifting so his legs were crossed and he was leaning on his knees.  "Xander, I want you to come back as a full member of the team.  Marcus still needs training.  For that matter, you've got things you could still learn."

"So do you."

"True," he agreed.  "I know not to put you into a situation where you need to pick locks.  Lavelle's spot it still yours if you want it. I can't promise that the guys will like it much.  I didn't talk it over with him.  Jigen feels like you betrayed him somehow and Goemon said to tell you he's not your child."

"He got what he deserved from me," she said firmly.  Lupin gave her a long look.  "He attacked me first!  I do have the right to protect myself."

"You do," he agreed.  "Then again, the lecturing about his stupidity while drunk wasn't that great."

"I didn't lecture him," she said bitterly.  "If I had, he probably would have deserved it, but I didn't.  But hey, if he doesn't like the fact that I was watching out for him I'll just win it back next time and hold it until Ishi's ready."

"He said he's a big boy, Xander."

"He is, who was being cheated in my place.  It was correct for me to step in and help him.  If he doesn't like how I did it, then I'm sorry.  Tough, but I'm sorry."

Lupin nodded.  "That's fine, you two can fight about that later on.  He also said it's not fair that you left him with the kids."

"Some of them are his," she pointed out dryly.  "I didn't think it was fair that you guys kept knocking me up either.  I love our kids, but I'm not the world's mother.  That's why we got a nanny."  She shifted. "If he's that bothered, I'll be there to pick them up in another week and take them with me.  I'm sure I can convince Bix to stay with me."

"You're not taking my son," Lupin said firmly.

"My son, Lupin.  I'm giving you an out since you're tired of being a father."

"I'm not," he defended, shifting to kneel in front of her.  "I didn't plan on being this much of a father either," he reminded her.  "They were not my idea."

"They weren't mine either," she pointed out dryly, giving him a long look. "That's fine.  If I don't come back, we'll work out custody arrangements so you still have time to go do jobs and so do I."

"You're coming back," he said firmly.

"I'm not causing dissension.  If Jigen and Goemon don't agree then I won't come back."

"They want you back, just not this cold bitch you become sometimes," he assured her.

"Lupin, I have to be this way sometimes.  It's the way the job gets done.  I'm not a housewife or a mistress."  He looked hurt.  "I was being turned into one.  There and here.  Why do you think I had to work so hard to restart my rep, without using your rep as a base?"  She got to her knees.  "Think about it, Lupin.  Think really hard.  Remember being my age and having to build your own."

"I had my grandfather's and father's reps to build from," he admitted.

"I don't."

"I gave you a platform," he reminded her.  "You could have built it as my second gunman and from there.  Lavelle did."

"Lavelle didn't, Lupin.  Ask around.  His started with the maze and moved on from there. The fact that he was with you was an added bonus on top of his skills, his ways, and his proficiencies.  Now I'm nearly as good as I was, maybe a bit off balance now and then, but I am nearly as good.  I can't get anywhere near his because I've got internal sexual organs.  Crime is a boys club and the party resents women.  The fact that I'm rated high enough for someone to tell you things without you having to ask means that I'm working on a good rep at the moment.  Maybe I'll even reach my former spot."

"No one's told me anything," he snorted.  She slumped and he realized it was the wrong thing to say.  "I didn't ask either, Xander.  I know what you can and can't do.  I'm very realistic about what your skill levels are.  Even when you hide things from us."

"Would you have told you if you were me?  Making myself look like an eager puppy would have pissed you off and gotten me dead."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

"No, you would have been overconfident about my skills and sent me into something that I might think I could handle, which I couldn't.  Like in Cairo."

"Cairo?"

She rolled her eyes.  "You really haven't looked, have you?"  She got up and grabbed her laptop, handing it over.  "Log on and read, Lupin.  I'm going to make myself some pop tarts."

"I brought you McDonalds," he offered as he logged into the bulletin boards under his name and asked a question about her.  Someone asked if he was going to let her take her brother's place, and if so would he not offer it to her.  Apparently they thought she was easier to get around and kill this way.  He shuddered and typed in that she already had the spot, she was simply adding to her reputation so she could quit explaining who she was at times.  One of the Dons thoughtfully forwarded a resume and a few more offered to take her if he didn't want her.  That she was a damn good hitter and thief.  That she was administrative quality, which meant she would be running things under their guidance.  Paris' Don popped up with a file to be forwarded and he read it first.  He knew she was using him as a first reference.  The resume was really interesting but the recommendations were enlightening.

She was a tough woman on the outside, but they all thought she was hurting and emotionally fragile.  He glanced toward the kitchen, then went back to reading.  It was a lot more extensive than he thought.  They paid attention since the moment she had shown up.  She had been right to prove herself to the world at large.  She wasn't being looked on as his girl, or his wife, but as a useful and wanted part of the team.  One person thoughtfully extended the list of warrants for him.  He typed in a general thank you and accepted the advice to treat her gently because she was upset with the world at large.  He logged off and went out to join her.  "Sorry about the chicken, but I remember you ate a lot of it before."  She shrugged.  "They were helpful.  Your resume is extensive.  Your skills list is long.  You're at the level where someone wants to offer you an administrative position in their organization."  She snorted.  "Then again, your warrants are also about as long as your skill list, which makes you dangerous for most organizations," he said calmly.

"That's fine," she agreed, standing up.  "I'm thinking the interview's over."  She walked past him, heading for her bedroom and closing the door. "I'll pack the rest of my stuff tomorrow or you can have Marcus do it."

"Xander," he said, standing up.

"Go away, Lupin, you made yourself clear."

"No!"  He started to touch the doorknob but something made him pull back.  "You electrified it?" he called.  She didn't answer.  "Xander!  Open the damn door!"

"If I'm too dangerous for you to be around, then you shouldn't be here," she called back.  "We'll have joint custody."

"You're not taking my son!" he shouted, pounding on the door.  "He's my son."

She opened the door, staring at him.  "He's my son, Lupin," she said quietly.  "Mine.  I gave birth to him.  You're not on his birth certificate because you decided not to be."  He looked stunned.  "If you want partial custody, you can have partial custody.  I doubt you want to have the kids year-round though.  It'd get in the way of your swinging lifestyle.   I'll be up to pack things tomorrow and I'll be finding a real house within the next few weeks, at which time I'll take the infants from Goemon since they seem to be too much for him to handle as well."  She shut the door.

"I paid for that stuff, Xander."

"You didn't. I used my allowance and the hauls I did solo to buy all my comics, Lupin.  Get it right.  I'll be nice, I won't ask for anything else."

He stomped out, heading to get really drunk and yell at Jigen. It always helped him when he could yell at Jigen.

Arsene sat up in her bed panting, gasping for breath.  "Oh, no," she hissed, climbing out and heading to her father's bedside.  She poked him until he glared at her.  "You are not going to let my mother get away.  You're not going to piss her off. You're not going to share custody of us.  If I have to, I'll take her as my trusted advisor, but you're not dumping my mother that way."

Lupin sat up in the bed, looking at his little girl.  She was wearing a tank-top and one of his sets of boxers.  "I hope you washed those first."

"Nasty asshole!  Listen!"  She swatted at him.  "I just got a head's up from Janus!  He doesn't want her to be that fucking miserable either!"

"You're not naturally her daughter," Jigen pointed out as he walked in, carrying Melissa.  "Lotus got one too and nearly knocked Melissa out when she came to help," he explained.

"'Lis?"

"Present," she mumbled.  "What's going on?"

"Janus just showed me what was going to happen."  She glared at her father again.  "Someone oh so brilliantly decided to approach mom about taking Lavelle's spot on the team, offering her a job.  Which was probably fine, then he pointed out how many warrants she has and how extensive her resume is.  She left.  You guys got divorced."

"We're not married here yet," Lupin said tiredly.  "You can't be divorced without a marriage."

His daughter slugged him this time.  "I'm not splitting custody between you two," she hissed at his shocked look.  "Mom will die of a broken heart.  You'll get sloppy and die on the job.  Which means that we'll be raised by Uncle Goemon and I'd rather be an orphan, thank you."  Both fathers looked stunned. "Hello, he's not exactly who I need to train me, people.  Not that he likes to train girls anyway.  I refuse to become his little polite doll until he marries me off.   He's like that, you've got to realize that by now."  She glared at her father again.  "You need to handle mom very gently, father.  She isn't going to conventions.  She's not been going in costume even when she does pop in to buy stuff, and she's not met up with her buddies since she left.  Uncle Goemon did deserve getting his ass kicked by her.  He started it.  He got drunk and stupid.  It's got to be an adult thing because I don't think Ishi will ever do something that stupid," she spat.

"Now, you're going to listen to me.  Auntie Fujiko is planning something against mother.  She wants Ray to hit her.  Ray's got enough information to arrest them both.  He's tracking her with the Mountie and his wolf.  Mom's been building her rep like you wouldn't believe, *without* your help or using you as a stepstool.  She's told *one* person that she was my mother and two people know she's Lavelle's sister.  She's built everything else by herself.  Sure, she's done proof jobs, she had to.  She's even done a few really dumb proof jobs, like with the silk kimono from the Emperor's private museum.  She's also going to be sending it back.  She did it to prove she could, not because she wanted it.  Your only part in this is to get her back before you all die and the world suddenly goes back to the war of good against evil. Without you guys being the hidden players on evil's side, the good guys can't win."  Jigen swallowed.  "Mom more so than you two, but it still happens.  You have two choices.  You can all die miserable and alone.  Or you can work it out with mom.  She's not your whore, she's not your girl, she's not your dame, she's your fucking partner and start treating her like it.  I treat Ishi better than you guys treat mom and she's more skilled than he is.  If you don't believe me, let's log onto the bulletin boards."

"Calm down," Lupin said quietly.  "There's no reason to get hysterical."

"Janus just gave me a fucking vision, Father!  I'm not the one he picks for this shit!  He didn't figure it'd get through mom's stubborn streak!"  She stomped her foot.  "We're going to log on now and let the people tell us, or do a real check on her.  She's in fucking danger and you're in danger of losing us for most of the year.  She'll put us into a *real* school."  He shuddered.  "Exactly. It may be the assassin's academy in Italy, but it'll be a real school."  She grabbed the phone and dialed her mother's apartment, getting a sleepy answer.  "Mom, you've got to send away that kimono now.  Uncle Ray's on your ass with his pet Mountie and the wolf."  She listened to the sleepy complaint.  "Mom, Janus just gave me a vision of things to come.  Send the kimono away now!  Right now!" she said, sounding a touch hysterical.  "They're on your tail."  Her mother spoke calmly to her but agreed.  "Good.  Then meet dad for dinner when they get back.  No, I don't care where you are, mom.  Trust me, he's a miserable prick and he's got a cold from the cell.  Hey, I agreed with you swatting Uncle G after he hit you.  You have the right to kick his ass and make him plead for mercy.  I would have kept the sword."  She grinned. "Fine, just do it right now.  Leave as well if possible."  She hung up.  "They're going to break into her apartment in a few minutes.  Father, bulletin boards.  Melissa, why don't you go back to sleep."

"Sure, Ar."  She snuggled in against her father's chest.  "Janus must really like her. Usually only the ones he likes most get visions of what he's seen."

Arsene grabbed her father's wrist and drug him with her out to the sitting area, turning on her computer and logging into the bulletin boards.  Someone immediately greeted her and told her what her mother was doing.  She sent out a message about Vecchio and the Mountie, making sure everyone around her were warned.  They would either turn her away or help her get away.  She looked at her father, then typed in a private chat offer to someone already online.  A new window popped as he answered, sounding happy.  "There, talk to the man."  She gave him a shove and went to get a soda for herself and a drink for her father. He might need it.

Lupin sat down to chat with him, his sleepy mind still running slowly.  The information he got was amazing.  Xander, in both forms, was better known than he realized. People were wondering why she was still listed as his student.  He took the soda from his daughter's hand, taking a long gulp.  He typed in some questions, getting clarification.  "Okay, fine," he decided, looking at his daughter once he was done.  "She's better than I had assumed."  Arsene snorted as she sipped her drink. "Give me that!"  He switched with her.  "You're too young to drink. You'll end up a dwarf."  He scowled at her.  "How long has this been going on?"

"Since Uncle Jigen had her in training alone," she noted.  "I asked.  He had some nights where he told her to go do something and she did.  And then some usually.  She learned how to work alone and she's not used to being part of an integrated team.  Slaying was like a strike team.  Limited autonomy and a lot of alone time in between battles for him to perfect being alone and fighting alone.  The only thing running in your favor is that he hates being alone.  He hates being around a lot of silence.  Quiet yes, but silence and lack of people will eventually drive him insane.  Sorta like how his penis may never come back."  Lupin shuddered.  "Exactly.  Just because she didn't really have a choice doesn't mean that she wanted to be female forever more.  She's having the same problems as before.  Now she knows that you don't respect her skills because you never let her do anything."

"It's a vacation."

"She's not used to those, father.  A few weeks off between jobs, but not a straight year."  He slumped, nodding.  "Now, you've got one chance.  Janus said approaching her like it was a job interview was the wrong thing.  Take her to dinner and do the asking there.  She wanted a twenty percent cut in the vision.  She wanted to be an equal member of the team."

"I thought she was," Jigen said from the doorway.

"Nope.  The vision showed her as still feeling like a student."

"The Don said she's still thought of as our student too," Lupin admitted, looking at Jigen.  "She all right?"

"Yeah.  I'm being cuddled," he said with a light shrug.  "It's not so bad on occasion."

"Mom said if you break up, she'll split custody with you guys," Arsene said, sipping her soda.  She looked at her father.  "Take the woman to dinner.  She's been living off pop tarts, eggos, and pasta."

"With all that she's recently done?" Jigen asked.  "Did she gamble it away?"

"Mom?" she snorted.

"Good point," Lupin admitted.  "I'm betting she poured the money into a project or something," Lupin suggested.  "Fine, we'll have dinner with her.  I'll be bringing news of a few possible jobs."

"She did Beijing," Arsene told him.  He gaped at her and she nodded.  "At least she had in the vision."  She finished her soda and took his drink to finish it.  "Thanks, I needed that. I've got a headache.  Janus has a really strong mind."  She got up and went back to bed.  She had given them a lot of clues.  They were smart enough to figure it out from there.

Lupin leaned back, looking at Jigen.  "Should we graduate her formally?  It'd mean a smaller cut for each of us."

"Yeah, but we'd be able to do more jobs, especially if she tithed to the group like Goemon and I do," Jigen offered.  He dialed Goemon's house, handing over the phone.  "Here, add him into this discussion."

Lupin sighed when he heard the drunken slurring. "Goemon, are you drunk?"  The phone was hung up.  "Fine.  He said he was dishonorable because he couldn't keep his wife."

"Then I believe it's time for a family meeting," Lotus said from her doorway.  "Ishi?"  He came out already dressed.  "You knew?"

"I knew what Mom didn't want me to know," he admitted.  "Someone else told me and Auntie Dawn sent me a smug email.  Remind me to cap her ass when she's given birth."  He took hold of her hand.  "We'll meet you back on shore."  They disappeared together.

"She's getting really good at that magic stuff," Jigen said in awe.  "I can almost see her as the next Rosenberg."

"Then let's hope we can make sure she's got a better ending to her story," Lupin said, getting up to make himself another drink.  "Want one?"

"Nope.  I'm gonna put her back into bed and go back to mine."

"I could use a cuddle," Lupin offered.

Jigen gave him a look.  "Fine, but no sex," he said, putting his daughter back into her bed.  He tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead, then went to curl up beside Lupin and let him cling to him.  "Feel better?" he asked once Lupin was settled in.

"Yeah.  I never realized I was keeping her from working."

"It's more like you're tired so you're not doing anything, which means we don't do anything," Jigen said gently.  "I was starting to wonder if we were going on vacation again for real."

"No," Lupin assured him.  "I just needed a few months off."  He looked up at him.  "You're pissed too?"

"No," he assured him gently.  "Then again I'm used to your dry spells now and then."

"That's the thing, I'm not dry," Lupin said bitterly.  "I just needed to recover from being a dad for a while."

"The kids can continue in school," Jigen said quietly.  "It'll be good for them."

"The assassins academy is a good idea," Lupin agreed.  "It'll be focused on their futures.  I'm worried about Savannah going there though."

"They've got a good education and she's good enough to qualify if she wanted to," Jigen reminded him. "She's the second-best shot in the kids.  Right after Ishi.  Arsene and Sierra are behind her and Melissa sucks ass at shooting," he said dryly.

"She's not motivated.  When it comes down to it, she'll be brilliant," Lupin promised. He played with some of the hair on Jigen's stomach.  Jigen swatted him.  "Sorry."  He sat up, looking at him.  "The Academy would help the good kids too with their calling.  Lotus couldn't study magic though."

"Yes she can.  There's two people there who use it," Jigen told him.  "I checked about putting Melissa in there.  The new head is really enthusiastic about having them."

"Arsene's instincts would get her killed," Lupin pointed out bitterly.  "She'd pronounce herself Empress and take over."

"She's already proven herself, unlike a lot of the others in there," Jigen pointed out.  "They'd relax around her eventually.  Plus, she'd be near the old families and under their direct watch.  She'd have to learn manners sometime."

Lupin grinned at that.  "Maybe," he agreed.  "We'll discuss that as a group once the kids are in for the holidays."  He laid down again and got comfortable.  "You're not quite as soft as Xander."

"That's because I'm a guy."

"Even as a guy, Xander's got these nice pads of muscles on his chest," he sighed. "I miss him."

"Me too," Jigen promised, patting him on the back.  "Ten more months."

"Yeah, ten more months, at the least," Lupin said bitterly.  "Then we confiscate the choker."  He let out a small chuckle.  "The report said that the family that runs the academy might approach her to marry into them so she could teach at the academy."

"She'd love it," Jigen said with a grin.

"I'd hope not."

"Not the marriage, but the teaching.  She loves to teach the kids.  Do you think Goemon would actually force Arsene into an arranged marriage?"

"Yup," he said tiredly.  "He'd think he was protecting her but it'd get him killed.  She would shoot him and then take over my empire.  I know my baby girl."

"Your baby girl is with Goemon right now," Jigen reminded him.  "Alex is learning how to be a good guy from him.  Anything else of note?"

"One of the slayers asked Xan if she was one of them.  She burst out laughing and said she had trained with a few of them.  She was off fighting vampires again since the girls weren't around.  My daughter was quite impressed with her style and hung out with her all day."

"She's kinda a neat brat, for being a society chick," Jigen admitted.  Lupin chuckled and gave him a squeeze.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome, Jigen, and thanks for playing pillow."  He closed his eyes.  "Tomorrow.  We'll land tomorrow.  We'll have to get tickets back to France."

"My baby's good at that," Jigen assured him.  "We'll go back together and I'll drop the kids off while you go to woo Xander into coming back."

"Sure."

***

Xander came back from her emergency mailing trip, finding Ray K and Ray Vecchio in her apartment.  "Hi.  Warrant?"

"I came to read some of the comics," Ray K said with a grin for him. "I had no idea you had this many with you all the time."

"I cleaned out my room at Lupin's," she said with a shrug.  She sat down across from them.  "No warrant?"

"We already did the search and couldn't find what we were looking for," Ray Vecchio admitted bitterly.  "What did you do with the kimono?"

"I sent it back when it was given to me," she said.  "The kid who took it got scared."  Ray K snorted.  "I did, and you can't prove differently."

"It's true, we can't," Vecchio agreed, sitting across from her.  "Fujiko's gonna make a play for you."

"Whine.  Fujiko needs her head shrunk again.  You can tell her she's destroyed Goemon by being a selfish bitch.  He's drinking much too often."

"We heard about the sword thing," Ray K said absently.  "Who drew this one?"

"The guy who subbed in for Spiderman a few years back," she said happily. "Isn't that a great storyline?"

"It is," Ray K agreed, carefully sliding it into the bag. "I've got to look this up the next convention."  He put it carefully onto the table.  "Okay, down to business.  We can't prove it was you.  We can't prove anything was you."  She relaxed. "That doesn't mean you don't have warrants."

"You can't prove I'm me," she pointed out.

"That necklace is removable somehow," Vecchio assured her.  "Even if we have to cut it off."

She touched it and sent a quick thought/prayer to Janus, who assured her he was right.  "Fine, it is.  I'm still not gonna let you cut if off me. I'll end up being both forever more and I'd hate that more."

"Which is why we're here," Vecchio said smugly.  "We want Fujiko.  I can't get enough on her. Plus if you could help Zenny out, I'm sure he'd leave you alone too," he offered lightly.

"One, I wouldn't help Zenigata catch the group or the kids," she said, shifting some so she could cross her legs.  "He knows better than to even suggest it.  I'm one of those loyal people."

"I told him you wouldn't, but he suggested we offer, instead of you, you know, putting you into a prison and letting you be the new party favor," Ray K said with a small shrug when she glared at him.  "You're not untouchable."

"Ray, you have no idea what I can do," she pointed out dryly.

"I know you can disappear, change genders, do some limited magic.  You can probably erase minds now and then, but we're stronger than your spells.  Plus, Dawn made sure you couldn't touch us."

"Dawn's magic is on the blink with her pregnancy and she can't handle demonic magic," Xander said dryly.  "Guys, I'm counted as a prince of hell after what they did to me and who did it.  I could call up something to eat you right now and they'd thank me."  They looked stunned.  "Even if I were stuck in a prison, I'd get a few days rest, kick the highest ass on the cellblock, then run it while I planned my escape, and executed it.  Then I'd have to go after the people who put me into that position," she pointed out.

"Even Gotti went down," Ray Vecchio noted.

"Yeah, and that's because he got sloppy.  I cover my ass and my bases.  I know which of you guys lurks on Lupin's boards.   I also know which of you is going to fall on his ass if I tell them.  Lupin's got thousands of people all over the world.  It won't even have to be someone local.  It could be during a case.  It could be the next time you go grocery shopping.  Now, having said that, I don't have a problem with you guys. You guys take out the stupid people and make sure only the best stay in the field.   I have great respect for cops who do their job as well as you guys do.  I have some respect for Gramps for that reason too.  He's got determination that's even stronger than mine to survive. I have no problem with you guys.  Lupin has no problem with you guys or you'd have been dead already.  Ray being my friend wouldn't have saved him."

Ray K shuddered.  "We realize that.  That's why we're here instead of doing this in a cellblock."

"Which I appreciate," she agreed with a grin for him.  "Go back to the other bedroom, the blue box marked 'anime' has a title I think you'd like.  It's about a third of the way down."  She grinned.  "Get it before you go, dear."  She looked at Vecchio again.  "You three working together about make up Interpol's best team.  You guys are fantastic.  We like you guys chasing us because it makes our reps better."  Vecchio grimaced so she gave him a gentle smile.  "It's like protesting that an album is filled with dirty lyrics and pushing the media to have it banned.  It sells more copies. Hey, I wouldn't have quite as good of a rep at the moment if it weren't for you guys.  As for Fujiko, I'm going to help you with her.  She's an annoyance and the only way to see her get help, and to help Goemon, is to help you guys.  He might disagree, but he'll eventually get her back. As a matter of fact, I've got something planned in Chicago coming up soon.  If you want, we can do it on your home turf.  If not, should I say hi to your mom for you?"  Vecchio glared and let out a small growl.  "Ray said that you cooked really well and she must have taught you, and I always liked meeting people who cook really well.  They make me happy to be alive," she said with a grin.

"Gee, thanks, Kowalski."

"You do," Ray K defended.  "I let him have a bite of the stuff you sent me to the convention with last time, mostly because he stole it.  He was ready to bow at your feet for it."

"I was.  It's much better than I can do," Xander admitted.  "I can make pop tarts, pizza, burgers, pasta, and that's about it.  Lupin cooks but he always makes really fancy stuff.  If I want to just eat steak, it's always a big steak with good sauce to go over it, along with veggies and wine."

"Instead sometimes you simply want a beer, a steak, and a bottle of A-1 along with your fries," Ray K finished.  Xander nodded.  "It's understandable.  Thanks for the sports bar rec by the way.  It's a nice place."

"I know.  That's where I go when I start to forget I'm American.  I mean, Jigen's a tough guy and he drinks wine.  I'm wondering when I'm going to be assimilated."  Vecchio gave him an odd look.  "Seriously!"

"Fine, so you're an ordinary guy who has this habit of stealing things and shooting people," Vecchio agreed. "We're still going to try to capture you."

"Hey, go for it.  Like I said, I don't mind.  You guys are great cops.  We respect cops like you guys.  I even respect Byron; even though he's been slacking off recently."

"He's been sick," Ray K told her.

"I'm sorry, tell him I hope he gets better soon.  I miss shooting paintballs at you guys."  Ray Vecchio looked confused.  "Sorry."

"Other timeline," Ray K told him quietly. He glanced around.  "No crooks?"

"Nope.  They're on their way back this way.  At which time I'm gonna be running away again.  I'm tired of being the girlfriend and mother."

"So don't be, but you're not as smart as you think," Vecchio noted.

"I am so, I always underestimate my intelligence," Xander said dryly, smirking at him.  "Ask anyone."  Vecchio gave him a long look and Ray K nodded.  "See, I'm not the most well-adjusted person.  My parents were cultists.  They told me I was suffering because God had a purpose for me.  It turns out that I suffered so I was strong enough to kick the world's ass when necessary.  Not because of God, but because the other side needed to have theirs kicked.  And I did it all in the company of people who didn't really want me there, who thought I was useless, and discounted what I was bringing to the group besides coffee and donuts.  That used to piss Gunn off to no end, that I could say things like that and mean them.  Then he was told how true it was by Willow.  He tried to defend me to her once, and realized he was striking a brick wall.  Then Wesley saw a use for me."

"I'd still like ta kill 'im," Ray K muttered, shifting some.  "At least Jigen started out seeing you how you were."

"So did Buffy," she pointed out grimly.  "I'm having a bout of deja vu."

"Switch sides back, we'd give you Dawn's spot and treat you better," Vecchio offered. "I could even cook for you now and then so you don't starve."

"Even if I wanted to, Ray, I couldn't.  I'm into this life.  It suits me.  I had violent urges before and I let them out on the demons in Sunnydale.  Here I get to let it out on people who deserve it just as much, the human demons."

Vecchio suddenly got it.  He saw Xander for who he/she was.  "You consider this like a permanent undercover assignment," he said in awe.  "You still think you're a good guy."

"No, I know I'm a good guy," Xander corrected gently.  "It's just a different battlefield.  You guys are like holy knights, you go by the writ and the rule.  I go by a different book for a different cause and we'll eventually meet at the same place.   It's just that I take on people you can't.  I used to be one of you.  I might have even joined a department, but I couldn't see my other job going to someone who gave enough of a damn so I had to stay.  Then the job ate me and I had to change some.  Everything used to be a lot less colorful in my life, now everything's got shades and shadows.  I walk in them so you don't have to.  Because they would eat you like they did me.   Like they started to eat Dawn."  She shrugged.  "Think about it.  Do you really want to do what I do, Ray?"

He shook his head.  "No, not in the least."  He had respect for this person across from him.  He glanced at his partner and realized that he had it all along, that he had understood this.  He looked at Xander again.  "Now what?"

"Now, I've got something for you," she admitted, standing up.  "I was going to give it to Lupin, but I think you'll be more expedient and I don't want to deal with him today."  She grabbed the envelope off her desk and handed it over.  "She was trying to put these out online but someone stopped her for you.  Since Goemon never goes online and his son knows that they're not real, you should be fine in that regard.  However, it is clear that it's not your body.  The identifying marks should help you figure out who, and to stop her better."

Ray K leaned forward to see the manipulated pictures.  It was Ray Vecchio's head on a really pale white guy's body.  He was snuggled up in bed with Fujiko.  He frowned, taking the best picture to look at.  "That's Vicious!" he said, looking at Xander, who nodded.  "Who is he?"

She smiled.  "Look him up.  He's in the database."  She winked at him.   Then she stood up.  "Now, you guys need to go comb the database Dawn helped you create.  I need to finish my nap.  Arsene woke me up with a frantic phone call."  They groaned and she grinned.  "Nightmares."

"She is a nightmare," Vecchio noted as he stood up.  "We will be watching."

She kissed him on the cheek, wiping off her lip print.  "Good.  I like being watched," she said with a wicked grin. "You always do better when you think you're being watched."  They walked out together, looking at the photos.  She locked the door and started to pack, then went to get the video for Ray, handing it over when he knocked on the door.  "Have fun."  She closed and locked the door again, going back to her packing. She didn't want to be in Paris when Lupin came back through.  She wasn't ready to face him yet.  She heard a noise and squeaked, jumping as she spun around.  Damn it!  "Lupin," she said, appearing calm.

"Ah, my precious second gunman," he said with a small grin.  "Our daughter reminded me I needed to take you out to eat while we discussed the future heists since you don't appear to be able to cook when you're alone.  Get changed."  She gave him a stunned look.  "Unless you want me to dress you?"

"No.  Where are we going?" she asked automatically, heading for her closet.  She worried what was going on.  Her body was obeying him without her permission.

"Just to dinner to chat and plan," he assured her.  "Pick something you like.  Nothing too high class."  He looked around the room. "Were you headed out for a job?"

"There was one I was thinking about auditioning for."  She pulled down a pants outfit and held it up.  "Good enough?"

"If you like it," he agreed, lounging on the end of the bed.  He turned away as she changed, even though he could see her face in the mirror.  She looked really shocked. "Nearly ready?  Did you give Vecchio those pictures?"

"Yeah.  I didn't think Goemon would want to see them."

"Someone thoughtfully showed him them and I think that's why he started to drink.  Jigen is talking him out of his suicidal rage at the moment.  He thinks he's dishonorable because he lost her."  She squeaked so he looked at her.  "Really."

"Fuck.  That's not his problem! That was hers!"

"Yeah, but he sees it as the man's fault," he pointed out gently.  "It's a cultural thing for him, Xan."  He pulled her closer to do up the buttons on her outfit.  "I kinda like you in this."  He didn't do more than give her a quick kiss before leading her out of the apartment.  "Keys?"

"No."  She went back inside to grab a purse, her wallet, and keys, calming her body down as she rejoined him. "Where are we headed?"

"Somewhere quiet," he said with a small shrug.  "Like I said, I need your help planning."  He looked her over.  "No gun?"

"No," she moaned, hitting herself on the head.  "I haven't needed one all week."

"That's fine. I've got mine," he promised.  He led her out to her rental car and got in to drive, of course.  "Name somewhere quiet."

"How about the bistro up the street?  We do a lot of planning in there.  It's a college kid hangout.  It's about six blocks up."

"Fine," he agreed, heading that way.  It wasn't that far, but he liked her taste in rental cars.  He parked outside and got out to lead her inside.  The waitress looked at Xander, who grinned at her, but she was still so stiff. "Just us," he assured her.

"Fine."  She led them to a back booth.  It was quiet, out of the way, and a little dark.  Apparently she thought they needed the privacy.  "Anything on the menu, Syl?"

"Maybe the mashed potatoes and the ham," she offered lightly. "Soda."

"Sure.  For you, sir?"

"That doesn't sound so bad," he agreed, handing over his menu.  "Water."  She nodded, leaving them alone.  He looked at Xander.  "I didn't realize it had been so long since we had done anything.  Even Jigen was asking if I was all right or if we were going back to semi-retired status."  She got that shocked look again and he grinned.  "So we sat down and talked last night.  With you officially graduated from our teaching and with Marcus so close we figured out that we could do a lot harder things and manage to still earn about the same amount."

"I've graduated?" she asked, still sounding shocked.

He smiled and nodded. "Except for the lockpicking and computer stuff, there's not much more we could teach you.  Marcus has longer, or else he'll only be a specialist with a sword."

"Marcus does okay with a gun," she defended.  "He doesn't plan but he's definitely soldier material."

"Have you been talking to the old families?" he asked with a tolerant grin.  "So, we talked once we got Goemon sober again.  How would a fifteen percent share of the cut be?  Your own, off the total, not from mine or Jigen's cuts."  He held up a finger at her opening mouth.  "In return, you'd have to do a bit more in the group.  Jigen's knees are still bothering him.  That means I'd need you to take point more often, and possibly even the charming jobs.  At least until the choker is off you and hidden.  Then you could take a few months and get used to being a guy again.  We'd expect you to be in on all heists we pull and tithe the group ten percent of what you did on your own during our down times."  Xander nodded slowly, like she wanted him to go on.  "In return, you'd be an official part of the group.  No more student status.  No more being a lesser member.  We'd expect you to take on the responsibility that you do now and then all the time."

"I'd be your go-to guy?"

"That too," Lupin agreed with a grin.  The waitress brought their lunches and drinks, then winked at him and disappeared again.   "We'd also listen to target suggestions from you more often, but you'd have to be able to justify them as more than 'it'll be fun, come on, guys," he said, mimicking Xander's male voice.  "You'd be our right hands.  Mine and Jigen's both.  Technically Jigen has more field experience so I'd leave him the better and the harder targets, but you'd be getting the rest of them.  I do have to remind you not to give too much away to the cops."

"Well, I did send that CSI in Miami something on why they had the wrong person," she admitted quietly, glancing around. "Stuff on the commercially available low-residue bullets and the special soap that's been developed, without telling her that we use a special additive for ours or about the lesser known brand."

"I can accept that," Lupin agreed.  "They'd probably find out soon anyway."  She relaxed some and he patted her on the hand.  "Of course, if you wanted to continue to be the wife and girlfriend, you have that spot as well.  That one only pays in presents and headaches from us," he admitted, "but it seems to be worthwhile most of the time.  You know how we operate most of the year."  She nodded.  "Was that a yes?" he teased, stroking the back of her hand.

"As long as I don't only become the wife and mistress again," she said dryly.

"Not an issue, Xan.  We love you enough to put you into danger and worry for your life too.  We're sorry you got so bored on our vacation.  We didn't mean for it to happen that way.  We were going to Singapore to deal with that technology fair.  Then you could have went to the anime festival in Japan."

"I can still go," she offered.

"We," he corrected gently.  She beamed at him.  "I like this crazy world you dragged me into. It's fun and stress relieving. It's like I can bleed all that into the atmosphere and everyone else will be immune from it.  I want to continue to go to the cons with you."  He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze.  "I leave this up to you totally, Xan, but I want you to come back and be a real member of the team.  Jigen will even promise to not pounce you as soon as you walk into the door."

"I'll have to bring everything back," she admitted quietly, looking down at her lunch.

"Just bring the clothes.  We'll move the rest of the anime and comics back to the storehouse. Murami found a better one for you, I checked."  He tipped her chin up with their joined hands.  "I don't mind your collecting unless it gets out of hand," he said with a grin.  "I like it when you're happy.  I especially like it when you're happy with me."

"I am mostly happy with you," she offered.

"Good.  I like that most of all. Now, eat.  Then we've got to plan the stupid wedding.  Jigen said if I didn't, he would and we'd be doing it naked with the kids in attendance.  Speaking of kids, have you looked at the assassin's academy?  It's got a good school attached and the kids could take specialist classes."

"I thought that was for older kids."

"Nope.  They do all the way down to eight-year-olds."  He grinned at her.  "It'll be helpful for the good kids too because it'll give them a better idea of who they'll be chasing."

"Sure.  We can look it over," she said.  Her head was spinning with ideas.  "I just sent some things away."

"I intercepted it," he said with a wink.  "I did finish sending on the kimono though.  A bit risky but as a proof job it kicked ass, Xan.  That was a really hard job to pull as proof."  He kissed the back of the hand he held.  "Now, let's eat.  Potatoes never taste as good when they're cold."  He winked.  "Then we'll go back and finish packing your clothes, take the rest of everything to the new storehouse, and get ready to pull a job before the next convention."  He gave her hand another squeeze.  "Can I also suggest that your kimonos move there too?  Not that I don't think you're cute when you wear them, but they weigh a ton to move."

She nodded.  "I can accept that."

"Thanks, Xander.  Besides, it'll give you room to collect more comics, anime, and kimonos."

She let out a soft laugh and dug into lunch.  "To think, I thought you were going to come back and demand things."

"No, our daughter screamed and ranted at me when Janus called her," he said dryly.  She dropped her fork and he shrugged.  "So I went to ask some questions.  She had some good points and your rep is actually a bit better than Lavelle's because he always had that weirdness thing that some people didn't like."

"You didn't?"

"I didn't say me, I said some people.  People like a few of the people we're going to be hitting this year," he promised with a small smirk.   "How dare they say bad things about you."  He blew another kiss.  "Eat so you can jump me if you want."

"I'm, um, having my cycle."

"I figured as much when I heard you were buying chocolate pop tarts.  Pop tarts?"

"I don't like to cook for myself.  Besides, it's nutritious."

"No it's not.  It's got additives to give it those few vitamins and minerals it has inside it."  He patted her hand as he let it go.  "Should I plan on straightening out your diet before or after your stomach complains?"

"I'm fine, Lupin.  I lived on worse."

"Yeah, but you can't do more than survive on it.  Should I take you out tonight for dinner or just get you another burger?"

"You heard," she said flatly.

"Well, yeah," he agreed with a grin.  "It's interesting and something I hadn't thought of.  Jigen isn't one of those macho American guys that you see gulping beer and belching.  I'm not sure he ever was, he's always drank wine around me."  He shrugged. "I don't mind but I do understand that sometimes you've got to go back to what you know.  It's lucky you didn't have to start a sports bar to make it to one."

"Yeah, I guess," she agreed.  "Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Why would I mind you not being totally the refined little thing I tried to turn you into?  You have the right to not like caviar, Xander."  She shuddered.  "I get it, they're fish eggs.  Fish eggs are nasty thoughts to some people.  The same as uncooked salmon is to others."  He smirked at her.  "Just let me try it on the kids for a bit and you can corrupt them back to the simpler things in life.  Things like thick steaks.  They need to know both sides of the fence and I'm sure Ishi's not going to be the most refined little boy in the world.  For that matter, I think Arsene's going to be doing her best impersonation of you when you first tasted caviar when she does.  That's who they are, and I accept that.  The same as I accept you not wanting to shave ever again," he admitted with a grin. "Though I will protest if you come to bed looking like a bear."  He leaned closer.  "Now, give me a kiss and then eat."  She gave him a light kiss and grinned back.  "Better?"  She nodded.  "Good, then eat so you can help me stop Jigen from his version of a hippie wedding party with sex games at the end."

"I thought that was your ideal," she teased lightly.

"No, I want something tasteful.  I want to see you in a stunning dress, which I can see more of you than anyone else, and I want us to have a small dinner party afterward.  Like our other one, Xander, only not on Goemon's lawn."

"Sure.  Who'd give me away?"

"You're definitely not free, I'd have to steal you," Lupin leered, winking at her.

"Considering you trained me to please you," she teased back, then she blushed.

"I don't care if you slept with someone else, as long as you were safe and you're not pregnant."

"No, I didn't.  I had to stop someone who didn't think I could utter the word 'no' in his presence."

"Arsene told me about the ball weights the guy ended up with."  He scratched his shoulder.  "I don't mind you defending yourself either, Xander.  I love you enough to let you tease me by looking like a prim school marm at times."

"I do?"

"In those long skirts," he agreed.  He suddenly grinned.  "Though it is nice to be able to grope you without anyone realizing it, especially when you're on my lap."  She swatted him.  "Do you mind?"

"Why would I mind?  Have you met my libido yet, Lupin?"

"Well, yeah, and I kinda miss it," he sighed.  "I've been snuggling up to Jigen each and every night, but he won't pounce me like you do."  He leaned closer. "I think Jigen likes to bottom a little bit better than he likes to top me," he shared quietly.  Then he leaned back and took a bite of his lunch.  "Instant?"

"It's decent," she assured him, eating a bite of her own.  "Tasted better warm, but it's good."

"It's not good, Xan.  Instant potatoes can never be the same as the real ones that you mash."  He kissed her again.  "Let's blow this place and go back to talk?  Or cuddle, your choice," he offered quickly when she looked at him.  "I'd pounce you again but you might find a new needle and do me next."

"Who said I used a needle on him?" she asked archly.  "All I found was a nail and my shoe."  She smirked at him.  "Eat the ham."

He looked at the square piece of meat, then at her.  "Spam?" he asked hopefully.  She gave him a long look. "Fine."  He dug into his lunch, knowing he'd need the food.  He certainly missed his kids' version of lunch.  "Do you want to head back tonight or should we stay in town and have a real dinner?"

"That depends, what did you make Jigen do?"

"He's taking the kids back, moving everything to your storehouses, and then he's going back to start the grill," he admitted.

"Then we'll cuddle later, Lupin."

"Yes, dear."  He smirked at her. "See, I do know that phrase outside of the bedroom."

"Good, then we'll make sure you remember it in the bedroom."  He moaned and reached over for another kiss, which she only gave him a light one of.  "Later," she assured him.  "Eat, Lupin."

"Eating," he agreed happily.  "So, where would you like to hit next?  Cairo looks promising.  Tunisia.  I heard you'd been to Beijing already."  She nodded.  "Still got it?"  She smirked and nodded. "Or we could go to Japan and rescue Goemon and the kids."

"Let's do that next, and we can do something over there," she offered.  "That way we can do the anime thing.  Do you have any targets that way?"

"A few," he said with a grin.  He noticed the waitress coming back with Ray K.  "They're persistent."

"They are cops," she sighed.  She looked at Ray.  "Probs?"

"That's mean," he said, handing back the DVD.   "How did you make them do that?"

"Oh, crap, I remember those," Lupin said happily.  "They didn't disappear in the move?"  Xander shook her head with a grin.  "Cool!"  He took it to read the back, trying to figure out which one it was.  "Where are the rest?"

"I've got to sit down and catalog my DVD's," she admitted.

He licked off his fingers and pulled his phone, calling Jigen.  "Leave her DVDs, her anime specifically.  Our adventures were brought over."  He hung up again.  "He said that'd be fine."  He handed it back to Ray.  "It's really cool."

"Zenny about had another coronary," Ray said grimly.  "He said I'm not allowed to bring any more like this around him.  So can I make a copy for myself?"

"Sure," Xander agreed with a grin.  "I've got the whole series somewhere."

"Thanks, Xan, you're the best supplier.  I'll get 'em from you at the next con?"

"We're going to the one in Japan if we're not on a job," she said proudly.  He moaned.  "You could follow us."

"Yeah, but I can't speak Japanese," Ray whined.

"So learn, you can follow us next year," Lupin suggested.  Ray glared at him then walked away with the video.

"What's with him?" the waitress asked.

"His boss is being unfair," Xander said with a grin.  "He doesn't like anime but Ray does.  We're convention buddies."

"Oh."  She pinched him on the cheek.  "Behave, Sylvia."  She took their plates and brought out slices of pie with a wink.  "You could always use the sweets."

"Well, yeah," she agreed happily, digging into the pie.  "Thanks.  Bring the check?"

"Sure."  She walked off swaying her hips.

Lupin looked, then shook himself and dug into his pie.  "Hey, this is very good."

"It is, and it was frozen earlier," she admitted with a grin.  She winked and they hurried so she could go pack.

***

Xander walked into Goemon's house, smiling at the toddlers beating on his limp body.  "Won't he play with you?" she cooed, picking up Kenji to hold.  "Is he being mean to the babies?"  Fred beamed at her and beat on his uncle some more.  "Goemon?"

He looked up, looking miserable.  "Are you here to finish me off?"

"No, I'm here to take the kids and to dry you out, man.  Guys, the daddies are behind me.  Go watch for them."  She kissed Kenji on the cheek and put him down, kneeling in front of Goemon so Sarah could crawl into her lap and Alex could hug her.  The only non-crawling baby cooed from the couch, waving his hands at her.  "Hey, Yu.  Hi Sarah, Hi Alex."  They giggled as they hugged her.  "Good babies."  She patted them on the head. "Go watch for the daddies."  They ran that way, toddling to the door she had shut and made sure was shut.  She glanced back, then looked at Goemon again.  "What is wrong with you?"

"I dishonor my family name."

"You married her, she went bad," she said with a shrug.  "She's a thief, not Bix.  It happens, big guy."

"I still dishonored my family.  I nearly lost the family treasure."  He looked at where his sword was resting.  "I should give it to my son and quietly commit suicide."  His head rocked from where she slapped him.  "Ow."  He frowned at her.  "What was that for?"

"For being a dumbass."  She stood up and hauled him up.  "Stand there."  He did, but he was slumped.  "Has not any other ancestor of yours ever been cheated?"  He nodded slowly, staring at her. "Do you honestly think you lost your sword fairly?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"Because I suck at card games."

"Then swear off them and never play again.  It is dishonorable to leave your children in the care of people would could not possibly love them as much as you do on purpose."  He slumped more, nodding.  "Which is worse, Goemon, a near miss or that?"

"That," he whispered.  "Which is why I have not done so."

"Where's Bix?"

"At the house.  She said she would not take them from me with this attitude in place."

"Good girl," she muttered.  Then she hit him again.  "You idiot!"  He flinched and nodded.  "Pack, now!"  He flinched again.  "Now!" she roared.  He trudged that way and she went to watch and make sure he packed.  "I'm going to kill that thing you married yet.  Make you a widow so you can find a decent wife to beat you night and day."

"I think you're being a bit hard on him," Jigen said as he came in.  "Where's Fred?"

"He was waiting at the door."

"Oh."  He went to search for him and found Lupin had him.  "There he is.  Goemon's still in a funk."

She came to the door.  "He's decided he's dishonorable for losing a card game and the guy scamming him out of his sword.  Bix wouldn't take the kids so he couldn't do the honorable thing."  Goemon dropped his bag behind her and then left.  She followed, catching him before he could go out the window.  She sat on his back.  "Did you bet the sword?"   He shook his head.  "Then how was this a legal thing he could ask for?"

"It was not," he admitted.  "Still, I should not have been that drunk or that foolish."

"Then learn from your mistakes.  I'm guessing this is why most of your family is dead, they decided to die instead of learning from their mistakes."   She got down next to his ear.  "I am going to get someone to put you on medicine that will make you act like Arsene," she hissed.   "If you even think about harming yourself, I'll be taking the sword, not Ishi."  He looked back at her and she nodded.  "Do we have a clear understanding?"

"You would not give it to him?"

"Nope.  Not unless he took it from me."  His mouth opened to protest.  "Unless he could prove he was strong enough to take it from me, it shouldn't be his anyway."

He shuddered.  "You are correct," he admitted. "I was foolish, but that needs to be passed on."

"And since he can't bring two of them to school with him," she completed, "you're stuck this way until next summer at the earliest."

"Fine," he agreed.  "Would...would you get off my back?" he asked nicely enough.

"Why?  Giving you flashbacks to being married?" she joked.  He nodded so she climbed off and hauled him up.  "There.  Now let's go."  He nodded and followed her out of the house, taking the children to hitch them into the car.  He had to retrieve his sword and his bag, and one lost pacifier, but his house was easily shut up again.  "Sword?"

"I will wield it until my son takes it," he noted.  "When he is old enough."

"Good," she praised, grinning at him.  "We'll see what we can do about getting you out of being married."  He looked at her and she stared back.  "It may be the only way, Goemon.  She's just recently put a hit out on me."

"Oh.  I'm sorry, Xander."

"Me too."  She patted him on the shoulder.  "We'll work it out, Goemon.  I'm not losing you to someone who took your sword even though you didn't bet it.  Nor am I losing you to something so stupid as a drinking problem.  Remember, I know people who sell really happy drugs that'll make you bounce and sing Care Bear and Barney songs."  He shuddered.  "We can easily keep you supplied in them."

"If you force one of those on him, we may have to punish you," Lupin said dryly.  "That would be horrible!"

"But it'd work."

"It would," Lupin agreed.  "I have no doubt that would cure his problems.  It'd make the rest of us mental, but he'd be fine."  She beamed at him.  "Fine.  Be that way then," he sighed.  He turned the corner.  "Okay, we are conventioning.  That means you have to come with us, Goemon.  Bix is waiting for us in the suite."   He nodded.  "Good boy.  Xan, I brought your warrior princess outfit, and the school girl outfit.  I'm not sure what else you wanted."

"I'm not sure this one is open to costumes," she admitted.  "I'll check when we check in."

Lupin's world brightened again.  "Thanks, babe.  If not, can you wear the warrior princess getup for me?"

"Sure," she agreed happily.  "Jigen, you up for that?"

"I saw your picture in it.  I wanked off to it twice already.  The real thing will be better I'm sure."

Goemon shuddered.  "Eww."

"We listened to you and her have sex, you can listen to us play fight about things," Jigen reminded him.  Yu yawned and he grinned at him.  "Hey.  Tired?"  The baby pulled up his thumb to suck and slowly fell asleep as they got into the parking garage.  "He's not going to be a happy camper," Jigen said quietly.

"Of course not," Lupin agreed. "But he'll have Bix and Mom again soon."  He got out and left them there to check in, and check into the convention.  The hotel was faster since there wasn't a line.  Once he got to the front desk, he cleared his throat.  "Harris, four adults?"  The man behind the desk found the packet and handed it over.  "She wanted to know if costumes were allowed and encouraged?"

"Costumes are not allowed," he said, making a few people pout.  "This is not that sort of convention.  I am sorry," he noted.

He took the money for the fees and Lupin went back to his car.  "Costumes aren't allowed, but we're checked in.  C'mon."  They nodded, hiking the bags, the kids, and themselves to the elevators. Bix squealed when she saw the babies, hugging each of them.  "Thanks, Bix."

"Xander, I brought one of your prettier kimonos," she promised.  "That way you can go in costume."  She winked and took Yu to put him down for a nap. "There, all settled," she said quietly, going back to play with the others.  The adults had already disappeared and she laughed, hugging Fred.  "Did they run out of here?" she cooed.  He patted her face and slobbered on her.  "Thank you, Fred."  She sat down to play 'catch' with the babies using a beach ball.  They loved chasing after it and squealed loudly as they ran into and tripped over each other.

***

Xander ran into the person who was watching her for Fujiko, giving him a come-hither smile and a wink.  "Looking for me?"

"Yes, Honey, I am," he said smugly, taking her arm to lead her away.  "I've got a message for you."

"Oooh, from who?" she asked, playing like a ditz for now.  "Is it a good one or am I gonna cry?  Because I get so blotchy and nasty when I cry.  I look really horrible."

"No, it's not one that'll make you cry," he promised.  He could kill her quickly.  He started to pull the syringe out but she turned and elbowed him in the nose, breaking it and shoving the pieces into his brain.  That's the last thing he saw, the dry skin on her elbow.

She cleared her throat.  "Help!  He was trying to kidnap me and I think I hurt him too much while I was defending myself."  One of the guards came jogging toward her.  "He had a needle and he threatened me," she said, starting to sniffle.  "He said he was going to kill me.  I struggled and I think I got him with my shoulder or something in the nose."  She wrung her hands and shifted back and forth.  "Is he okay?  I didn't mean to hurt him, just to get away from him."

"Come this way, ma'am," he said quietly, leading her to the security office while he called the coroner and the cops.  "He was trying to kidnap you?" he asked.  She nodded.  "Why?"

"He said someone hired him to snatch me."  She swallowed and her lip started to tremble.  "I'm Lupin the Third's girlfriend.  I'm the mother of Lupin the Fourth."  He looked stunned, then patted her on the shoulder.  "He said I'd be safe!" she said, starting to cry a bit.

"Shh.  I've seen him and I'll get him for you," he promised, leaving her there to find one of the Lupin party.  He had no idea why they were there.  There wasn't anything in the city for them to steal and no notes had appeared.  He ran into Goemon first and tapped him on the shoulder.  "I have a young woman who is part of your party.  Someone just tried to kidnap her and she had to react."  Goemon went pale and followed him back, holding Xander as hard as he could.  "I'll leave you to it.  Stay in the hotel, ma'am, and warn your boyfriend."  She nodded, letting Goemon take her away.  He went to lead the cops to the body so they could get it settled faster.  "Who was she?" he asked the cop.

"Who?"

"The one he tried to snatch.  Said she was Lupin's girlfriend."

"That would be Sylvia.  She's Lavelle's sister.  No one's sure how much she's trained or if she's more than a good gunwoman."  He looked at him.  "What happened?"

"She said he tried to kidnap her and she reacted to get away from him.  He has a syringe somewhere on him.  She thought her shoulder had gotten him in the nose."

"It's possible."  The cop searched him, coming up with his wallet, the syringe, and the original vial which still had some left.  "He's sloppy."  He stood up, bagging the things.  "I'm going to call Interpol.  Anything to do with Lupin we give to them anymore.  Guys, bag him and take him away.  There's a convention in progress.  Where is Lupin?"

"I gave her to Goemon."  The guard led the way back into the convention, and they found Jigen.  "There's one of them," he said, pointing him out.

"That's good enough. Thank you."  He walked that way, clearing his throat when he got closer.  "We've got to talk about the guy who just tried to snatch Lupin's girl.  Where are the others?"

"Lupin's in the viewing in room A and Goemon is with Sylvia in the shopping area," he said, looking slightly confused.  "Who would try something that stupid?"

"That's what I want to find out.  Can you get Lupin?"

"Yeah.  Go to the bar and get a table, man."  He headed that way, looking really worried.  Why had Xander called in the cops?  He found Goemon and Xander first, tugging on her sleeve.  "Cops?"

"He had a syringe with poison," she told him simply, in English so no one around them would understand.

"Fine.  Let me get Lupin.  You go wait in the bar with the detective."  She nodded, leading Goemon that way.  He trusted her this far.  He snuck into the room, whispering in the guard's ear, then found him by the cackle he had just let out during the gun battle.  "Gee, another Gundam," he hissed as he walked.  He squatted down beside Lupin's row, tugging on the arm of the person next to him.  "Tap Lupin for me," he whispered.  She gave him a look then poked Lupin on the arm, pointing at him.  "Someone just tried to snatch Xan."

"Coming."  He got up and they walked out together, not getting in anyone's way.  He led the way to the bar when Jigen corrected his path, walking in and looking her over. "Are you all right?"

"I got him in the nose apparently," she admitted.  "I was trying to get free, he had a syringe."

The detective coughed.  "Last I heard your brother was a lethal weapon, ma'am."

"I'm not that old," she warned.

"Fine, sorry, Miss."  He grimaced.  "Your name is Sylvia?"  She nodded.  "Then why get us involved?"

She held up the baggie with the syringe.  "See that?"  He nodded.  "The person who sent him gave him that.  Interpol wants her.  I don't want her on my ass and I don't want that in this area with all these kids around.  If that spilled, it could kill someone by soaking through their skin."  The cop shuddered.  "Therefore I'm letting those people who have experience with dangerous substances handle it.  Do you blame me?"

"No," he agreed.  "Did you intend to kill him?"

"Knock him out," she admitted.  "I did elbow strike him in the nose but I meant to knock him out."

"That's fine, ma'... Miss."

"Sylvia is fine," she said lightly.  She took his pad and wrote down something. "Call the task force, give Vecchio only this message.  If you absolutely can't get him, give it to the Mountie."  He looked stunned.  "Seriously."

"Give it yourself," Ray K said bitterly.

She looked at him then handed over the bag.  "One of Fujiko's treats."

He looked at it, then at Benny.  "Isn't that a poison?"

"A very lethal and fast acting one," Benny agreed.  "It's able to be absorbed through the skin.  If injected, a few drops are enough to kill even when put into a muscle mass.  You'd find that the muscles it was injected into would be eaten some as well.  It's nearly instantaneous and fairly painless.  He was going for mercy."

"He got my elbow a bit too hard," Xander admitted.  "I can't fight in this kimono."

"Most kimonos aren't made for fighting in," the cop pointed out, looking a bit stunned.  "They let you have green hair in Interpol?"

"We were going to a convention and I always go in costume," he said with a grin.  "That's why I get to track these lunatics."  He looked at Xander.  "You wanted us to handle it?"

"I can't imagine hiding a body in here and I don't want that poison around the kids, Ray."

"Good point," he agreed happily.  "How did you hit him too hard?"

"Sometimes she's a bit stronger than she appears," Jigen offered.  "She got me in the ribs earlier and it was like getting punched by Goemon instead of being poked."  He rubbed his side.  "We're not sure why but she's having problems controlling some muscle movements now and then."

"Fine," Ray agreed.  "I can accept that.  You were getting away from him?"  She nodded.  "Decent enough.  We'll handle it, give us the notes?  We'll be here."

"That's fine, sir," he agreed, handing over the notes he had.  "Please come down tonight for the Coroner's report."  He ran away, leaving it to them.

"Muscle issues?" Ray K snorted once they were alone.  Xander nodded.  "Really?"

"Really.  It's where I deaged we think," Xander explained.  "I'm not supposed to be in this body and my other body was better trained.  At this age, I was barely building muscles when I tried.  Remind me to bring my picture of me on the swim team to the next convention."  Lupin pulled a copy out of his wallet.  "You carry *that* one around?"

"Yup," he said smugly.  "To remind me how far you've come since then."

"Wow, and I thought I was scrawny," Ray K laughed.

"Hey!"

"Sorry."  He handed it back.  "Did you have these problems then?"  She nodded.  "Really?"

"More like uncontrollable twitches at the time.  My body wanted to move and it wasn't working right.  I had some massive injuries most of that time from the fighting.  I was bruised for months on end."

"Fine," Benny agreed.  "Stay here for the convention."

"Fine," she agreed, standing up and moving past him. "I'm going to change into something I can control better.  This one's still really stiff."  She went to change into a less formal kimono, coming back down in it.  This one she could fight in and Lupin smirked at her for her choice. "I like it."

"I like you in it," he promised, kissing her gently.  "Come on.  I wanna shop with you.  That new Gundam's pretty funny.  They've got the guys shooting around corners and things," he said as he led her away.

Jigen looked at Goemon.  "Does that mean we're on guard duty?"

Goemon shook his head. "It means we can roam on our own."  They went their separate ways to find their own version of fun for a while.

Ray K watched, then decided to follow Xander and Lupin around.  If this was from Fujiko, there'd be another attempt.  He managed to get into the room as the fire alarm went off, swearing as people rushed around him.  He saw someone take a swing at Lupin and decided to be the hero.  He was a cop, it was part of the job description.  Xander was struggling with the guys but not winning.  Apparently she hadn't been lying.  He kicked one in the kidneys, and got another one in the throat, then the other two took off running.  He pulled his gun but Xander was faster and got them in the knees.  "Now you do that?"

"The kids are mostly gone," she panted, rubbing her throat.  "Lupin?"  He moaned so she helped him sit up, checking him over.  "Are you okay?" she asked, looking worried.

"I'm going to kill my former girlfriend," he complained as she helped him up.  "They alive?"

"Barely.  I got them in the knees."

Ray waved the cops in and pointed at the people.  "They pulled it and tried another snatch."  He looked at the duo.  "Leave.  Now. You're a danger to the others."

"Fine.  We're heading back to Paris," Xander noted.  "Tell the other one we want to see him soon.  I will stop this before it hurts someone else."  Ray nodded so she led Lupin out, taking him upstairs to pack and leave.  Bix headed back to the house while they went directly back to Paris.  It was time she and Fujiko had a discussion.

Merry Hell, To Those Who Deserve It.

Xander let Ray Vecchio drag her into the old club.  "Are you sure this is a good idea, Raymondo?" she asked in a grating, high pitched, squeal of a voice.  She bit her lip as she looked around.  "I don't think this place is open or really friendly.  Plus, Jigen said I was to be careful with you, that you were easily hurt."

He grinned at her.  "Don't worry about it, Honey.  It'll be fine. I know the person who owns the club and she said I could bring you over.  You'll like Fujiko."

"Oh.  Okay, I guess," she agreed, shrugging like the airhead she was pretending to be.  She smiled when a woman walked out of the back room.  "Hi.  Raymondo said it'd be okay if he dragged me here and Jigen was kinda busy and needed to dump me off for a few hours.  I hope it's okay."

"No, it's not a problem," Fujiko said happily, smiling at Ray.  She gave him a hug.  "Good job," she whispered.  "So, you're Honey, right?  Ray's told me some about you.  I thought you were a blonde, not a redhead."  She shook her hand while the other woman giggled.

"Lupin asked if I'd try being a redhead for a bit.  He wanted me to be a bit more exotic now and then."

"You don't seem like the sort of girl Lupin would go for.  I've known him for a while now."

"Wow, are you the one he learned that tongue trick on?" she asked happily.  "I've wanted to thank that woman for a long time."

"No, that wasn't me," Fujiko admitted.  "I never slept with the man."  She sat down on a bar stool, letting Ray pour them drinks.  "So, Honey, you go to Harvard?  You don't seem like their usual sort."

"Well, Elle is my heroine," she admitted.  Fujiko looked confused.  "The movie?  With the girl who wanted her man so badly she broke stereotype to go to Harvard Law?  Well, anyway, I decided that if Elle could, then I could and I could study those fascinating things that make people do the things they do."

"You're into psychology?" Fujiko asked, looking shocked.

"No, silly, sociology and anthropology mostly.  I like the Japanese culture.  I met Goemon at a con and we just clicked right away.  He's great about explaining how the ancient traditions are impacting the current world.  My advisors were *so* stoked that I had such a willing mentor that they let me off for a year to study with him.  And then, well, I met Lupin through him and his kids are *so* adorable," she said with a sigh.  "Arsene is just a gem.  I adore that girl.  We shop you know," she seemingly confided.  "And the big Arsene just is so sweet," she cooed.  "He appreciates the hell outta me for my mind and my body, unlike most men who only see the body."  She smiled sweetly at Ray.  "It's men like him who make me feel like a princess because they see my mind instead of just the mammary organs.  Goemon's the same way.  He *never* stares at me, even when he caught me coming out of the shower the other day.  He's such a sweetie, even when he's running around in his loincloth I still get a lot of respect from him and Jigen.  Plus, Lupin is just so sweet to me.  He got me a really pretty ring and some earrings, he even *bought* them to show how special I was to him," she said proudly.

Fujiko nodded and briefly thought about ending the annoying voice that was starting to give her a headache, but then decided it wasn't time yet.  She could do that later and have fun doing it.   She sipped the drink Ray made her, wincing at the taste.  "A bit strong, Ray."

"Sorry, Fujiko."

"That's okay."  She smiled at Honey again.  "So, what part of Japanese history do you like the most?"

"I really like the Imperial times.  They set up the stage for so much of what's going on today.  Besides, the fights between the modern and the old ways are really kinda interesting.  I don't like their educational system or anything like that, but it's pretty neat."  She sipped her soda. "Thank you, Raymondo."

"You're welcome, Honey," he said with a smile.  This was really fun to watch.  Xander had asked what set her off the most, so he had told her not to say Goemon's name in front of Fujiko.  Now, each time she said it, the woman's eyebrow or cheek twitched.  "How are the kids?"

"Oh, they're divine.  The older ones are doing really well in school.  Arsene's made a whole group of friends.  Sierra and Savannah are cheerleaders right now.  Lotus is doing her wiccan thing via distance learning with that big gloomy guy downstairs.  Ishi's got a girlfriend and they're *adorable*," she shared, patting Fujiko on the wrist.  "Goemon's always got this big smile whenever he sees Ishi and his lady.  He treats her very gently and respectfully.  He even turned her down when she wanted to do more than kiss.  I'm so proud of my little guy."  Fujiko cleared her throat.  "I know they had another mother, but Lavelle was really nice and he introduced me to the kids so they all consider me the mom.  It's great.  The girls are so sweet and they help me tons with my studies.  We go shopping and do manicures.  I even helped Arsene with her tumbling recently.  Plus, I've given Sierra and Savannah books on cheerleading for the holidays.  They seemed to appreciate it a lot.  Plus, the babies are *so* cute!  Yu keeps trying to nurse and Goemon always blushes," she shared with a happy, brainless grin.  "He's such a sweet baby though.  If I was lactating, I'd gladly let him latch on so he'd be a healthy little baby.  Fred and Sarah are wandering around and getting into everything of course. Fred tried to put on my makeup the other day and Lupin got a picture of it."  She opened her purse, digging past everything to find the wallet with the pictures.  "I think I've got one around here."  She found it with a small squeal of delight and looked for the picture.  "That's Yu, the baby, and that's Fred next to him with his makeup on.  Isn't he adorable!"

"He is," Fujiko admitted, stomping on her warm, squishy feelings for her child.  He was an adorable, smiling baby.  She handed them back.  "Where did Jigen have to go?  I heard you say he had to drop you off for a while."

"Not a clue.  They don't tell me things like that so I can't worry.  It's sweet of him, but Lavelle said he'd train me to at least be able to shoot soon.  That way I could protect me and the babies.  Me and Bix both.  Goemon and he got into it, he thought I should learn how to use a sword too since I'm so into Japanese culture.  Goemon said I'd have to prove myself better capable than I was at the moment.  But that's okay because Marcus helps me now and then when he's trying to duck out of practice or away from the pregnant people."  She grinned and patted her again, something she knew Fujiko hated.  "Marcus has some special gift with pregnant women.  It's like they all want to have him rub their stomach or pat the babies.  He's been doing a lot of that and hiding from them when he could.  He's with Lavelle right now, hiding with the babies.  They adore him because he reads to them."

"Are you going to have more kids with Lupin?" Ray asked.  Her voice was grating but it was fun watching Fujiko's tick speed up.  It was almost constant now.

"I offered.  I told him I'm perfectly happy being the stepmom to the kids, but that if he ever wanted another one all he had to do was ask and we'd go at it like bunnies until it took and then he could tie me down and have his wicked way with me.  But I'm sure you've heard how good he is before," she assured Fujiko, smirking at her.  "We're really kinda happy with the kids as they are now.  I mean, that old seer told Goemon he'd have a daughter of his own some day, one just like his mom was, but we're not sure when or by who.  Ishi seemed really pretty happy about that but he and Lotus are sniping at each other again like brother and sister," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "Goemon's just so tolerant of the kids.  Let's them climb all over him!  Let's them snuggle whenever and wherever they want!  If he could feed them I'm guessing he would.  He's just such a great daddy to the horde.  That's what we call them, the Golden Horde.   He, I, and Lavelle are just there for the kids all the time.  Bix complains because she doesn't have so much to do."

"Really?" Fujiko asked, reconsidering her use of force on that voice.  Later was too long.  Maybe sooner would be better, like now.  Her glass was pushed into her hand so she looked at Ray, who gave her a long look.  Fine, it would have to be later.  "Did the seer find out who the child would be with?"

"No, she said it'd be a while, but that she'd be a traditional daughter and just what he had always wanted for Lotus.  She's neat, but Goemon doesn't really get the whole wiccan thing.  I have a friend who is so I caught the vibe, but he's not fully understanding that it's almost the same as he himself goes for."   She laughed.  "I set Lotus up with my buddy for chat sessions since she's so good at that whole herbal thing too.  She's learning tons from both of them.  So, what do you do?  I know he's mentioned you but never if you were part of the team or anything."  She noticed Ray's wince.  "Problems with the liquor?"

"No, just hit a spot where I didn't mix too well," he offered quickly.

"I'm a thief myself," Fujiko admitted.  "He never told you that?"  Honey shook her head.  "You're sure?"

"No, he mentioned you then gave Goemon a quick look and sighed.  Why doesn't Goemon like to talk about you?  Did you screw with a haul or whatever they call it?"

"Not recently," she admitted.  "No, I'm Goemon's ex."

"Oh, so *you're* Lotus' mother!  Wow.  They said you were a special person.  Even Jigen said so.  I guess it's a good thing Raymondo drug me here, huh?" she asked with a grin for him.  "You're so sweet!"  She pinched him on the cheek, just like his mother would do.  "You deserve a big, gooey, ooey pile of fudge for that.  Fortunately I am a champion fudge maker.  The county fair's judges said so," she said proudly. "Right before they named me Fair Queen because the other girls had gotten chunky while taste testing and making their own batches to try and rival mine.  Which of course they couldn't."

"You're certainly prettier than this year's Miss America.  Maybe you should go for the Mrs. title."

"Lupee said I'd be in danger," she sighed, rolling her eyes.  "That big, nasty man Zeni...something or other, keeps trying to grab my breasts and you know how Lupee can be about what's his snuggly-wuggly things."

"He grabs your what?" Ray asked, looking amused.

"Either that or he misses each time he grabs my arm," she said with a shrug.  "I know Lupin warned him off last time, told him to play with his wife's.  He even insinuated that hers were fuller now because they were leaking milk, and that he may have tasted them.  Man, did that inspector ever turn red and hop around!"  She smirked at him.   "He was not a happy person and one of his team had to shoot him with a tranquilizer dart in the airport."

"Gee, would that have been your boyfriend, Raymondo?"

"Probably," he admitted smugly.  "You knew who I was dating."

"Yeah, but a cop?"

"A Mountie," he corrected.  "He said he hasn't caught me yet and I'm not endangering Canada so I'm fine for the moment," he said smugly, smirking at her.  "So, Honey, how was the last convention?"

"We went to one in Japan, it was so sweet of Lupee to take me, but it was busted up by some guys with guns.  They were not happy campers.  Lavelle's sister had to nearly kill some people."

"Lavelle's sister?" Fujiko asked.  She was reaching for her gun when Ray's hand stopped her.

"Boss, did that rash come back?" he asked calmly.

"Probably," she admitted, removing her hand. Fine, so her second-in-command was a bit squeamish, she could handle that.

"Oh! I have the most *perfect* medicine for rashes," Honey said, digging in her purse again.  She pulled out the small .22 she had in there.  "Sorry, but Lupee said I had to carry it even though I can't use it yet.  He said it'd scare off someone if they tried anything unless they were too big or bad and then they'd probably want to kidnap me anyway to annoy him, which of course he would destroy them for.  Here it is," she said happily, handing over the tube of stuff she knew Fujiko was allergic to.  "Try some of that.  It's great on the ones I get from tanning in the garden.  We've got some odd leaves back there that always make me itch."

Fujiko put a bit on her back, unsnapping her holster at the same time.  Then she handed it back with a smile.  "Thanks, Honey.  So, what else were you going to do tonight?"

"Oh, we had planned on going out dancing but then Jigen, who was escorting me until my pookie bear could get there, had to leave.  So I guess I've got to find the club by myself," she sighed.

"Hey, I can let Ray take you," Fujiko offered.  Anything to get away from that voice!  "Ray, you didn't have anything to do tonight, right?"

"No, boss, not a thing," he agreed happily.  "Finish up, Honey, and I'll take you now."

"Sure, Raymondo.  Thank you, you're such a sweetie."  She kissed him on the cheek and gave him a light wink when she noticed he had reacted.  "I think someone needs some time alone with his boyfriend," she teased, taking his arm to walk him out.  "Night, Fujiko.  It was nice meeting you and all.  Have a happy night!" she called with a wave back at her.

Fujiko slumped, banging her head on the bartop as soon as the door had closed.  It was the only thing that was going to remove that voice from her head.  She was still hearing her from outside. She winced at the squeal, sitting up and reaching for her gun as the door opened and a new woman walked in, this time in a business suit, with her hair braided back.  "Who're you?"

"Sylvia."

"Who?"

"Check the bulletin boards once in a while, Fujiko.  I'm Lavelle's sister.  You just fucked up badly.  Lupin didn't want you near his lady."  Fujiko slid off her bar stool and Sylvia backhanded her when she tried to move.  "Do not try, Fujiko.  I'm not the nicest bitch in the world.  Lavelle trained me specially," she said smugly.  She removed the gun from the other thief's hands, then tossed it away. "Piece of trash toss-away?  You use those?" she said with a sneer.  "No wonder Lupin let you go when Goemon showed an interest.  Thankfully he's got better taste now.  Leave the city of Paris, Fujiko, and the continent if you can.  We don't like you being near the kids or Honey.  Learn your place, bitch."  Fujiko shrieked and came at her with her hands, so Sylvia punched her, knocking her out.  Xander tied her to a few stools, spread eagled on her back, then waited, finishing the soda she hadn't finished earlier.   "You know," she said at the first groan. "I should invite Gramps in here.  He's been without for a while during his last chase and with Dawn having morning sickness."

Fujiko blinked up at her.  "Xander," she hissed. "I remember now."

"Good," she sneered, shifting to cross her legs.  "I like her with him, Fujiko, and you're fucking with *my* plans now.  Jigen and I are still together and you're fucking with all our plans.  So give it up before we cut you free from this mortal coil."  She finished the soda then put it aside.  "You just stay there and maybe I'll be nice enough to send Ray back to free you.  After all, I sent them off."  She pulled down her hair, shaking it out.  Then she removed her jacket to show off her outfit.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, Jigen's done with his job and I need to go dancing with my man.  You have fun lying there, Fujiko.  Those are the new plastic-steel mesh cuffs they're testing out.  How do you like them?" she asked smugly, strolling away, leaving the door open.

"I'll kill you, Xander!  You took what was mine!"

Xander came back to the door.  "Fujiko, I never took what was yours.  I'm not with Goemon.  Not that I wouldn't love to cuddle the big sweetie when he needs it, but he's not mine.  You fucked up all on your own by not helping out and being a spoiled brat.  There's no room for crying in thieving either, Fujiko.  Learn the lesson."  She strolled off, smirking at the cops.  "She's begging for a man by now," she told Ray, kissing him again.  He moaned and went weak in the knees.  "You looked like you needed it," she said smugly as she walked on.  She straddled her bike and kicked it to life.  "Nighties, Ray.  Have fun.  Join our group sometime."  She zoomed off, leaving him leaning against the wall.

Ray looked up.  "Like I need that!" he hissed.  "Can't I have a real woman instead?"

Ray K coughed.  "She did it to make you feel better," he pointed out.  "He did it to me too.  Made me totally forget what my name was.  We've got enough on the tape.  You wanna do this with us?"

"No.  Just in case," he offered, going to the van to drive it away.

Zenigata came out of the shadows, dropping his cigarette and stomping on it. "Let's do this, men.  I want this ended."  He led the way into the bar, smirking when he noticed how she was tied down.  "My, my, Fujiko, what would Goemon say about his wife offering it to the world that way?"

"Get me the fuck out of these and I'll give you Lavelle," she offered, struggling.  She felt her skirt climbing as she wiggled but she didn't care.  "Come on, Pops, get me out of these."

"Why?  We're enjoying the free show," Ray K said lazily, smirking at her.  "You're the one on your back and offering," he said when she shrieked.  "Too bad I know Goemon will kill whoever touches you.  Pity he's already taken out two of them."  He looked at his boss.  "Should we take pictures of the crime scene or arrest her first and then do it?"

"Arrest her first," Zenigata said, turning away.  "I didn't need to see that much of her.  Dawn's is prettier and softer."   He went to remove the bug from the wall, showing it to her with a smirk.  "You're mine, Fujiko Mine."

"Yeah, yeah.  Lupin will save me."

"Lupin's presently playing with his lady," he said, sneering at her.  "What makes you think he'll stop his romantic weekend for you?"  She shrieked and struggled more, exposing herself fully.  "That is much more than I wanted to see of your distended, gross body.  Ray, cover the poor bitch."  Ray dropped his jacket over her lower half, then worked on getting her free of the bar stools.  "Can't you cut it?"

"Nope, tried that," Ray admitted.  "There's some sort of key needed to get them free."  He got one barstool free of the winding Xander did and stood up to move it out of his way.  "You sure we can't just do her here and leave her as an unexplained body?"

"Sure," Zenigata agreed.  Fujiko started to shriek and struggle.  "Never mind, she'd bring trouble on our heads.  Get her free but gag her before someone hears."  Ray did that and worked on the other bar stools while Zenigata got the rest of the bugs that they weren't leaving.  Just in case she came back here again.

"Gun," Ray said, taking it and handing it over.  "Hey, she's got hives too," he said, wiping off his hands.  "Eww.  Did you pick up something when you were trolling on the docks?"  He finally got her free and walked her out to their car, shoving her into the back so she could be buckled in.  "There.  Now let's leave her to Benny to do the paperwork?" he asked hopefully.  "I got a date tonight," he said at the head shake.

"Do the arrest report, Ray, and then go," he agreed in his best fatherly impersonation.  "If you want to you can even watch them do the body cavity search."

"No, thanks.  Then I'd never be able to get it up tonight," he said with a shudder of revulsion.  "Eww."

"Sorry.  Any word on that other guy?"

"Vicious?  Yeah.  He does chemical analysis.  We picked him up late last night.  He was making a new fast acting poison as a chemical weapon.  He was also making the collars for that country Lupin told us about.  He's presently spilling his guts about that to avoid jail time."

"Good job, Ray," he praised, patting him on the back.  "You can drive this time."

"Thanks, boss man."  He got in to drive, letting his boss get in front.  "You okay back there?"  Fujiko yelled stuff through her gag, but he couldn't understand and he didn't really care anyway.  "Good enough."  He sped off, going into the night to deal with this new bust.   He had been really shocked when Bix had asked him out, but he kinda liked her a lot already so it was all good to him.  He wouldn't even ask her for information on Lupin or Lavelle.   He had promised her.

"Who do you have the date with?" Zenigata asked.  "I know that girl in the bakery around the corner's been hinting for weeks now."

"Just a girl, no one you'd know," Ray offered with a small grin as he took a corner sharply.  Fujiko's shouting picked up but he continued to ignore it.  This was how he drove.  Just like the rest of the people in Paris did at rush hour.

***

Xander walked up to where her men were, smiling at them.  "Done," she said proudly. "She's in custody, begging and pleading for any sort of a deal, and they're not listening."  She smirked at Lupin, then winked.  "Now, I promised her I was going out dancing."  They pointed behind her and she grinned at the man standing there. "Yes, Goemon?"

"Did you harm her?"

"I slapped her once, punched her once, and gave her hives with a cream I gave her for a supposed rash when she wanted to shoot me.  I inflicted mental damage instead."  She gave him a hug.  "Now it's all on you, big guy.  You're decision totally."  He nodded against her shoulder, relaxing in her arms.  "Ooh, someone needs a nap."

"I'm not one of the children," he said tiredly.

"Yeah, but the kids have been keeping you up," she teased, pulling back to pinch him on the nose.  "You should go to bed and get a lot of sleep tonight since we're kid-free.  If you're a good samurai I might even take you out for breakfast tomorrow."

Goemon smirked at her. "I'm not your child, Xander."

"Then don't yawn like one when your head hits my shoulder," she said smugly. "I'm snuggly but not for you, dear."  He laughed, shaking his head as he went to find a seat in the quiet club.

"That's the first time I've heard him laugh since Yu was born," Jigen offered.  "Good job, Xan."

"I try," she said humbly.   "So, we've got a kid-free night.  We've got a...."  Her phone rang and so did Lupin's.  "Yeah?" she answered before he could.  "Sure, Marcus.  Need us?"  She smirked.  "No, that's fine.  Of course she can take the night off.  She deserves some 'her' time without all the kids begging and trailing after her.  Where's she going so we don't interrupt by accident?"  She bit her lip.  "Really?"  She smirked.  "More power to her.  I'm happy if she is and you can tell her I said that.  Happy kid sitting.  Watch out for Yu, he likes to suck on noses."  She hung up.  "Bix has a date."

"Our Bix?  Nice, sweet, shy Bix?" Lupin asked.

"Bix, who never goes out anywhere, Bix?" Jigen asked.

"With who?" they asked in unison.

She gave them a smug look.  "Ray."  They gaped so she took a picture with her camera phone.  "You two are so adorable!  Should I tell Goemon?"

"Nah, let her go," Jigen suggested.  "She's a big girl and we all trust Ray not to hurt her."

"Skinny, wears ugly NHI glasses, comic man, Ray?" Lupin asked, still in shock.  "She goes for guys like that?"

Xander pinched him on the arm.  "She didn't go for you," she reminded him smugly.  "She likes Ray.  He's sweet and nice.   He can't cook but he's a great guy.  I'm glad to see them both happy.  Ray actually quit remembering his ex a few months back.  It's time he moved on."

"Where is he moving to?" Goemon asked as he came back to them with drinks.

"He's on a date tonight," Jigen told him.

"With Bix," Lupin added.  Jigen and Xander both pinched him.

"She could do worse," Goemon admitted.  "He has honor.  He has a good job.  He has a loving nature that not even pets would help hold down.   As long as he treats her appropriately and does not harm her, he has no fear from me."

"Yeah, but Ishi's still fierce in his protection of her," Jigen pointed out.

"I'll tell him," Xander said with a wink.  "Can we still go dancing?"

Lupin looked at her outfit.  "Only if you change."  She rolled her eyes but did go to change dresses.  This one was a bit too matronly for her anyway.  His phone rang and he smiled when he saw the number that popped up.  "Hey, empress.  What's up?"  He grinned at Goemon.  "No, tell him she's fine.  We like Ray.  Have him watch."  He blew a kiss.  "Love you too, Melissa.  Have a good night and prank Arsene for me."  He smirked.  "Good job, young lady.  You make me proud.  Want your dad?"  He laughed.  "Sure.  Night."  He hung up.  "The bulletin board just noticed Ray being out with our nanny and put out a call to see if he was on a date or if he was using her.  Melissa pointed out that he wouldn't do that but she wanted to make sure that she was correct in doing that."

"My daughter is wonderful," Jigen said proudly.  He looked over and his ever-present cigarette fell out of his mouth, lighting his shoe on fire until Goemon plucked out an ice cube and dropped it on top of the smoking stick.  "Xan?" he breathed.

Lupin looked and Goemon had to save his drink.  "Xander?" he asked in awe.

She was wearing a dress that was held up by the collar around her neck, which had a few straps running down to the top, leaving open areas.  The ones around her cleavage were most revealing and inflammatory.  As she walked, they spread a bit.  The skirt was short, mid-thigh.  The dark purple dress highlighted every good thing about her body and left nothing to hide, but left some to the imagination.  She hadn't changed her shoes, she was still wearing modest heels, but her stockings were barely peeking out as she walked.

Lupin pulled his tongue back inside his head when Jigen elbowed him.  "Wow," he said finally.  "Where did you find that?"

"The stripper shop," she said smugly.  "You like it?  It was on sale for a mere fifty Pounds."  She turned for their benefit, showing that the back of the dress was mostly bare, the straps were moving down to her waist.  She turned back around and Jigen swallowed, making her grin harder.  "Good enough to go clubbing?"

"I feel overdressed," Lupin noted, poking Jigen this time.  "Should we go dancing?"

"Yeah, we should," he agreed, taking her before Lupin could move.  "Let's go.  You can ride behind me on the bike."

"Sure, Jigen."  She leaned against his arm, smirking up at him. "Are you feeling possessive?"

"Remember what happened when I saw you in the tube dress?  Well, it's about to happen again.  The only dancing you're gonna be doing is on the end of my body."  He got onto the bike and helped her on, wincing as she wrapped her arms around his waist.  "Ready?"

"Sure.  Lupin's coming though."

"Probably in his pants," Jigen complained.  "He'll get his."  He sped off, taking her to a techno club he had heard of.  The guard gave him an odd look but he paid him off.  Xander was already moving before they moved inside and once on the floor she was heaven in his arms.  By the time Lupin joined them, she was lost in the music and Jigen was ready to have her in the middle of the floor.  Lupin came in and that changed, but not by much.  Now he was in competition to get his woman alone tonight.  Maybe he'd have to tie up Lupin.  That was always fun.

Back at the first place, Goemon was shaking his head.  "That is an outfit I would have liked to seen Fujiko in."  He pulled out his phone to call his son.  It always made him feel better.  "Son. It's the father."  He heard the panting his son was doing.  "What are you doing with your girlfriend tonight, son?"  He smirked at his answer of katas, not believing a word of it. "As long as that is all you do.  You are too young for the other things.  No, I wanted to talk to you.  Bix is out on a date.  Xander has just lured her men off with promises of worldly pleasure of flesh.  No, they arrested her earlier.  Xander helped of course.  No, she didn't hurt her," he said gently.  "Thank you, son, for asking that question."  He smiled at his son's caring nature.  "Are you going to the next convention?  Of course I am," he agreed happily.  "I will see you there and we shall chat then.  I won't keep you from your katas any longer, son.  Kiss your sister for me.  Yes, you as well."  He hung up and smiled at his phone. His son was wonderful, he always made him feel better.

***

Ishi stared down at the man on the bed until he woke up with a groan.  "Up, now," he hissed.  Ray K sat up fully, staring at him in shock.  "Did you think I hadn't learned this lesson yet?" he asked smugly.  He crossed his arms, scowling at him.  "What are your intentions toward my cousin?"

"We're buddies.  It was only one date!"  He looked around, he was still home.  The others could wake up any minute now and the kid would be hurt.

"They're asleep, I gassed them," he said, knowing what he was thinking.  "The wolf is eating some canolis I left in the kitchen for him."

"Fraser will kill you, Ishi."

"Perhaps, but only after I've killed you if you hurt Bix."  Ray looked stunned.  "She's a sweet and innocent girl, Ray.  One who doesn't really get the modern man's drives if you get my meaning.  She came home on cloud nine because of you and I'd like her to stay that happy."

"I would too."

"Good, then we're in agreement, you'll continue dating her and treat her well, or else you'll be seeing me again like this.  Only while I slice into you and start pulling out things so you can see what livers and gall bladders and intestines look like."  Ray turned green, but he nodded quickly.  "Excellent.  With that agreement in place, I'm going to get Arsene some chocolates.  She was feeling a bit desperate."  He turned and walked out, going out the window.

"Ishi," Ray said, coming out of his room.  "Last I knew you had a crush on her."

"More her type than her, and I have a woman, Ray.  She'll be helping me as surgeon's assistant.  She likes Bix a lot too."  He disappeared, letting the window slam behind him.

Ray leaned against the wall, shaking his head.  The wolf gave him a look so he shrugged.  "He's protecting his pack.  Your human's gonna crap if you eat all those."  Dief whined but stole one more to eat in peace, leaving the remains of the two he had sucked the cream filling out of.   He turned and went back to bed, deciding it was all a dream.  It had to be a dream.  Right?

In the morning, Fraser glared at him.  "Why did you get Dief those horrible treats? You know how I feel about that, Ray."

"Wasn't me!"

"Then who was it if it wasn't us?" Vecchio asked.

"Ishi was here last night to talk to me."  They looked stunned.  "I went out with Bix last night.  He warned me to keep her happy or else you'd be waking up to a biology lesson after he's treated me like a frog."

Fraser scowled at the door, then the window.  "Didn't you try to stop him?"

"You try to stop him!  He gassed you.  He was going to kill me if I quit seeing her."

"Hold on, he wanted you to *keep* seeing her?" Vecchio asked.  "Usually you get that when they don't want you to see their women-folk."

"No, he said Bix was happy and if she was happy he was happy and I was staying alive.  He used ta have a crush on her but now he's got Amanda."  He shrugged.  "Whadda I know?"

"Good point," Vecchio agreed.  "Fine.  Keep seeing her if you want.  She's a nice lady."

"She is.  Very sweet.  She likes my stories and my taste in comics," Ray said with a grin.  "Don't tell Zenny.  He'll try to use her."

"No he won't," Fraser noted.  "He knows that she doesn't know anything."  He looked at the remains of the treat, then sighed.  "Diefenbaker, come along.  Let's go for a run."  His wolf whined from his comfortable spot on the couch.  "Now."

Vecchio looked at him.  "If you don't, he'll buy a treadmill and stick you on one in a harness so you can't get off."  The wolf got up with a groan and followed him out the door.  He rolled his eyes.  "Okay, now that that's over with, you better now?"

"Some.  He said he gassed you two.  I don't know about anything else, Ray."  He shrugged, looking helpless. "Do I report him?"

"Just to Zenny.  He'll get a kick out of it probably," Vecchio offered. "I can if you want."

Ray K shrugged.  "I can.  Do you feel gassed?"

"No, but I had a really horrible taste in my mouth; like the one after my wedding reception."  He snorted and went to fix a decent breakfast.  "Call him now.  It'll save him a bout of Dawn's cooking.  I'll feed him too."

Ray K smirked at him.  "Bored, Ray?"

"Much.  Call."  He pulled down a few pans and started on breakfast, listening while his partner exposed his sex life for his boss' pleasure.

"Hey, um, boss, we've got a small prob here," Ray K said quietly.  "No, more of the Ishi sort.  No, he warned me to keep seeing Bix, keep making her happy, or else I was gonna end up a biology lecture.  Yeah, the kid.  No, he said to keep dating her.  Oh, Vecchio said he'd make breakfast if you wanted some."  He smirked back at Ray.  "He's on speaker and Dawn's sending a pout your way.  We're invited up to eat with the kids."

"Not today," Vecchio complained.  "I had a mega-dose of Lavelle last night, I need to recenter myself and make sure Fujiko's people won't be tracking me down."

Ray K repeated that and then laughed.  "Fine, boss.  We'll see you after lunch.  Thanks, man."   He hung up.  "He said that since there's probably no evidence of him being here we can't really charge him with anything but that he'd be talking with the guards at the school to prove anything, even him sneaking out.  He said he'd do it personally."  He walked back to the breakfast bar and sat to watch his partner cook.  "He also said Goemon announced that he was taking the kids back to Japan for a few weeks starting this weekend.  Lavelle's smart-ass quip after that was to please help the samurai with the stroller because he

probably would need it now and then."  He grinned at Ray's snort.  "See, there's worse out there than Lavelle's sense of humor."

"Not much," Vecchio complained.  "I'm sure he does one of those manly backpack thingies with them."

"At least with Yu.  You're probably right," Ray agreed.  "What's for food?"

"Slop. Learn to cook."  His partner pouted at him.  "Fine, frittatas.  Good enough?"

"Yeah, fine with me," Ray K agreed happily, grinning at him.  "See, and you thought our partnership was gonna be a bad thing."

"It is, kid.  It really is.  Otherwise me and Benny'd be normal people."

***

Xander heard her phone ring and went running for her purse to find out who it was.  She was in her normal stocking shop, looking for something else to make Jigen groan and shake his head.  The number on there wasn't one she was familiar with so he cautiously answered it.  "Yeah?"  He listened to the calm voice on the other end.  "Whoa, hold on.  Which kid?"  He listened to a story that was this side of pissing him off.  "I'll be right there.  I want a reconstructionist there when I walk in in about ten minutes ready to give me options and a full list of what needs to be done.  Yes, please, treat the boy."  She hung up and took her purchases up to the register, letting her run them.  Then she took the bag and sprinted for the car.  One of her kids needed her and that was more important than anything but getting the person back who had put the incendiary device in front of her kid.

By the time she got to the hospital, there was a plastic surgeon in with the kid in question and the nurses were waiting for her.  "How is he?  Stable?" she asked as she stomped down the hallway.

"First, which parent are you?" a nurse asked.

"Step mother.  You won't get much closer than me at the moment," she said grimly.  "There's Godparents but they're in the country at the moment."

"The father would be?" another nurse asked.

"Japan with his other kids."

"The mother?"

"Prison," she said grimly, grimacing in disgust.  "Nasty whore."  The nurses looked shocked so she looked at them.  "Good enough?"  They nodded and let her into the room where her stepson was resting.  "Ishi," she whispered, moving closer to touch his unharmed cheek.  "Baby, tell me what happened?" she pleaded.

"Mom?" he groaned, looking at her. "Someone challenged me."

"Shh, baby, let me handle that part.  Tell mommy what happened."  Ishi hissed out something in Japanese that made her start and frown at him.  "Who?"

"Him," he agreed in French.  "Do I need to stay?"

"Baby, your cheek is split open like someone hit a grape with a hammer.  Plus you've got some interesting pit marks where you were burned.  You're gonna be here for a few days I'm afraid."  She looked at the other inhabitant of the room when he cleared his throat.  "The plastic surgeon?"  He nodded, clutching the folder to his chest.  "How bad will it be?"

"We can rejoin most of his cheek to his face.  It'll leave a scar where it joins but with how young he is it should fade mostly by the time he's a legal adult," he offered.  "The small burns may well scar.  Probably no worse than acne scars and that one where the three lines will join."  She looked down at the boy and took his hand, then at him again.  "I'll do the best I can, but he's going to have a few scars."

"A few scars is better than too many," she agreed.  She looked down at Ishi.  "I'm gonna be waiting, little man.  I'm going to call in the family once you're nearly done so no one has to pace and wait.  So you go with the good doctor and you get better."  She looked at the doctor again.  "Are you the best in the city or nearly?"

"I teach at the local medical school.  I'm not the most artistic, but I'm conferencing with him while I do this one.  We'll be taping it for the students later if you agree."

"That's up to him," she assured him.  "I'll want any evidence you gather from him."  The doctor nodded quickly and headed out to get a surgical suite ready.  "Okay, Ishi.  From the top.  Benny did what?"

"He challenged me, mom.  He said he was challenging me to a duel of honor.  I got there and the building blew up as I opened the door.  Fortunately I was having a semi-psychic moment because I ducked at the last moment.  That's why I've got some burns and bruises on my upper back too.  Please don't tell dad?" he begged.

"Honey, I'll have to tell him but he won't be mad at you.  Trust me on this, he won't be mad at you."  She stroked some of his hair back.  "We'll do our best to minimize this for you, Ishi.  You just try to heal and rest.  You'll be coming home as soon as you're released, even if I have to beat the shit out of your father.  Got it?"  He nodded slowly.  "Good boy."  She kissed him on a bare spot on his forehead.  "You be a good boy and I'll be waiting when you come out."  He nodded, grabbing the rails as the orderlies walked in.  "If he's harmed, I will be killing people," she warned the nurses walking in.  "Got it?"  They nodded, looking amused.  "Perhaps I should introduce myself.  I'm Sylvia, contract assassin.  That's my stepson, Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth, a samurai and assassin in training.  His father's in Japan right now with the others."  They went pale.  "So nothing had better happen to my stepson."  She stomped off, going out to her car to cry in peace.  It may not solve anything but it made her feel better for a bit.  It let her be clear-headed enough to plan.  She picked up the phone.  "We need to talk.  I'm calling a rare truce.  Meet me in the park with the Mountie at six tonight.   Yes, him.  Ask him that question," she said coldly.  "I'm sure it'll be enlightening."  She got up and went to grab the pre- operation pictures, then call in a favor with someone who could make some splendid explosive devices.

***

Zenigata walked into the park alone.  "I can't let you hurt him, Lavelle."

Xander stood up, looking him over.  "Wonderful, but what makes you think he's not already hurt."  She flipped over a picture, making him wince.  "My stepson, who he called out.  Who he tried to kill.  He will be suffering just as much as my baby will be.  Do we have a clear understanding?"

"Why?  How is this his fault?"

"He's the one who issued the challenge.  He's the one who set the bomb."  She handed over two sealed envelopes.  "Final statements from the people who helped him. They're being taken in by Vecchio.  I called him personally.  You deserve the right to know as his superior but they're his friends and they get stopping rights."

Zenigata looked at the picture again.  "Is he okay?" he asked quietly.  Xander handed over another picture, this one before the bandages were put on the boy.  The cheek was brought together in three lines that joined just below the cheekbone.  There were still some vivid small burn spots on his upper cheek, forehead, and left chin.  "Xander, I want to punish him in-house.  It's important that the other cops know they can't do these things."

"Zenny, he's a thief in training.  How many other cops won't congratulate him," he said bitterly. "If you want him further, then get in line or get him before Goemon gets him.  I still have to call him."  She walked away, pulling out her phone.  "Lupin, get your sisters.  It's an emergency.  No, Ishi. Conference in your dad if possible."  She hummed at the new, happier voices on the line.  "Guys, it's bad news.  Don't be that fucking cheerful.  Someone challenged Ishi to an honor duel and then tried to blow him up when he appeared for it.  He's already had surgery.  I wanted to bring better news.  No, he'll be scarred, but not horribly so.  Three on his cheek, small burn pits.  Yeah, that's where he is.  No, he had them call me.  I dealt with the person partially.  No, Lupin, let me call him.  It'll be better coming from me.  Just get your ass back to Paris right now so I can have cuddles and we can plan how to help him more."

She hung up and took a deep breath before dialing the last number she'd need.  She got a baby babbling into the phone.  "Hey, Yu, put the daddy on," she said tiredly.  The baby handed the phone to his father.  "Goemon, sit.  Yes, that was an order.  No, not dead.  Injured."  He grimaced at the sound of the thump.  "Not quite that bad.  Get into his email.  There's a notice of a challenge.  Someone blew up the site before it could go on. I had them seal the injuries so it'll scar but not as bad as it could have.  Yeah, I've been with him most of the afternoon.  No, he only came out an hour ago and he's napping.  He knew I went to deal with the issue.  No, I gave Gramps the right to deal with his own person before you did.   He is just as badly injured, if not a bit worse.  No, he had them call me, Goemon.  I told them I was his stepmother. Goemon, his cheek was flayed open.  I had them close it already.  I wasn't going to leave your son in pain like that.  I wouldn't do that to any of the kids.  You know that," she promised.  "Now get your ass back to Paris right the hell now.  He'll need you to tell him he's not damaged, not ugly, and not ready to live in a bell tower."  She hung up and walked back to her car, going back to the baby's side.  He needed her more right now.

***

Lupin ran into the room and stopped when Xander caught him and pulled him down into her lap.  He looked at the boy in the bed, wincing at the number of bandages.  "How bad is he?" he asked quietly.  She handed over a copy of the second picture she had given Zenigata.  He winced again and shook his head.  "Then we'll have him treated by the best, Xan.  I promise.  I made Goemon's reservations and he's on his way back with the kids."  He turned and gave her a hug.  "Good job," he whispered. "Just right and what I would have done."

Jigen walked in, looking around before coming next to the bed.  "Private room?"

"He's considered a security risk since a cop did this," Xander said blandly.  "He'll be fine.  The guy who closed his cheek is one of the ones who teaches the future plastic surgeons.  I asked Molly in Switzerland about him.  She knew him because he did some of her training."  They looked impressed at that.  "Molly said she'd be seeing him in a week.  That way some healing can happen but it won't be fully gone in case something else can be done.  Our favorite doctor for massive injuries was quite upset at a certain Mountie." Jigen scowled.  "You didn't hear?"

"I did.  I can't believe he did it.  He's usually such a good guy he starches his underwear."

"He might, but he admitted it to Zenny.  That's when the bomb went off in his face," Xander said bitterly.  "He should be just as badly injured as our baby is."

"He is, I filched his file from up the hall," Jigen admitted.  "How bad was Ishi?"  Xander handed over the 'before' picture, making Lupin get up and pace so he could swear and not wake up their kid with it.  Jigen gave them both a critical look.  "He's a bit worse but that should be good enough," he agreed.  "For now."

"I warned Goemon that Gramps wanted him first," Xander admitted.  "I'm sure they'll work that part out together."  The sarcasm dripping from her voice made Jigen and Lupin shudder.  "When should we expect the daddy?"

"Later tonight. He'll be coming right here from the airport," Lupin reported.  "I've had Bix come into town to take the kids."  He stroked her cheek.  "Good job, Xander.  Just what I would have done."

"Are we telling the bitch?" Jigen asked.

"I suppose we should," Lupin agreed bitterly, glancing at the bed, then back at Jigen.  "You want to?"

"No, but I will if I have to," he offered.

"I sent in a letter with her lawyer," Xander told him.  "In Arabic so not everyone can read it, but if they want to check I'm sure someone can.  It laid it all out for her. She also has a picture of the after surgery scars."  The older men looked at her.  "I didn't want them to gloat," he said with a small shrug.

"Good job," Jigen agreed.  "When can he come home?"

"Tomorrow night."  She yawned.  "If you want, I'll take a later watch."

"We can watch over him tonight, Xan.  Go to the hotel and rest," Lupin said gently, pulling out a key card.  "We had to get a private suite for us three and him when he comes out. The kids have one across the hall."  She nodded and stood up, wobbling a bit before she caught her balance.  "Are you sure you can drive?"

"No, but I figure I can make it to a nearby hotel."

"We're at the usual place.  Let them call a cab," Jigen said gently.  She nodded and gave them both hugs, then left them alone with their godson.  Jigen stared at Ishi.  "Was that enough for you?  What she did?"

"No," Lupin snorted.  "But I think Goemon has this one first.  She got him back for Ishi, now the rest of us get a turn to play," he said coldly.  He looked at his long-time partner.  "When is Goemon's connection?"

"He's got an hour layover at Heathrow in about thirty minutes."

"Good."

***

Goemon looked up as someone called out for 'Ishi the Thirteenth' to pick up a white courtesy phone, heading to the nearest one.  "What?" he growled.  He listened to the calm, detached voice recite what had already been done in his son's defense and how they were waiting for him.  How Bix was going to be waiting to pick up the kids with Ray K and then he was coming directly to the hospital.  How Xander had already gotten him back for Ishi and how now his turn to decide his punishment.  He grunted and hung up, heading for his new gate with his small bag, baby carriers, and sword.  The enchantment Marcus had laid on it was very useful.  He noticed the check-in girl looking at it, then at him, so he growled.  "My son was injured."

"Very well, sir.  Connecting to Paris?"  He nodded.  "That's fine.  We'll let you board first since you have children."  She typed in something and checked on the plane's progress.  "Do you have a carrier for the one in the snuggler?"

"No.  He's fine."

"I'm sure he's quite comfortable, sir, but we really should have him in a carrier," she said gently. "It's safer."

"The plane will not crash," he said firmly.  "My sons will be fine."

"Good enough," she decided, making a note in his file.  She smiled at him.  "Just don't open that other thing on board please."  He nodded.  "Thank you, sir.  If you'll sit, it'll be a few more minutes.  Or if you wanted to, you could change the one trying to reach into his diaper."

Goemon took everything into the bathroom to change his sons, just in case.  His 'eww' floated out but no one did more than smile since it was obvious what he was doing.  Yu was giggling merrily.

***

Ray K met him inside the gate, taking the carrier automatically.  "Goemon, it wasn't us," he said quietly as he followed him.  "I swear, Ray and I had nothin' ta do with this," he promised.

Goemon stopped to look at him then nodded.  "I know. You wouldn't be here to help with the children if you had.  You also would be in a hospital bed by now.  Xander would have made sure of it."  Ray relaxed some.  "Bix?"

"In the waiting area.  They wouldn't allow her in.  We'll drop you at the hospital on the way to the hotel.  Some guy threatened Arsene so we're keeping an eye on the building."

"Another officer?"  Ray nodded slightly.  "Very well then.  I do not mind if you sit with her.  She is very sweet and I will hurt you worse than Ishi promised if you harm her."  He started to walk again, taking off the baby carrier once they got out to where Bix was.  "They were both changed in London, but I fear Yu may need it again.  He's been doing that evil laugh again."  He rolled his eyes at her giggle.  "Any news?"

"He came out of surgery just fine, Goemon.  Xander didn't call until after that. She's back at the hotel resting while Lupin and Jigen take the night shift watching him.  They're waiting on you."  She gave him a gentle hug.  "We'll do whatever we need to so he'll heal as perfect as he can be," she promised softly.

He nodded.  "Thank you.  Bring the children tomorrow during visiting hours.  Let Xander sleep for as long as she wants to but bring her back with you."  She nodded, hurrying in front of him to get the car.

***

Goemon walked in slowly, looking at his son's sleeping body.  "Has he woken?"

"Not yet.  They've got him drugged pretty well," Lupin said from his corner.  "Jigen went to get a smoke.  He's not fragile, Goemon.  You can hug him."

Goemon walked in and hugged his son as hard as he dared, waking him.  "Shh, son, it is the father," he whispered.  "Rest, I will still be here tomorrow."  Ishi mumbled something and went back to sleep.  "I love you too, son," he whispered, pushing his hair around for him.  He needed it trimmed, it was in his eyes.  He looked at Lupin.  "A plan is in place?"

"They gave him the option of resigning and going back to being a plain, old mountie so he took it," Lupin said calmly.  "He and his wolf are going back to some rural hell that has maybe sixty people in it.  If you want, we'll follow.  That's his preferred environment."

Goemon's white hot rage popped back into being and this time his youngest son wasn't around to soothe him.  "Then we should track him sometime soon."

"We're following your lead in this, Goemon.  He's your son," Lupin assured him. Jigen came back in with two bottles of soda.  "Thanks, man."

"Welcome, boss.  Hey, Goemon.  Xan said the doctor was nearly a genius.  He's not going to be heavily scarred.  She demanded the best and got a teacher from the medical school."

Goemon nodded, taking the soda Jigen held for himself, he needed liquid.  "Grape?" he asked finally.

"The machine was out," Jigen said with a small shrug.  "The nurses keep watching me as I move.  Either they're fans or they know who Ishi is."

"They're safe from us as long as they treat Ishi properly," Lupin promised.

"I'm assuming Xander lost her temper and threatened someone while he was in surgery," Goemon noted.  The other men nodded, that sounded like a Xander thing to do.  "Where are the girls?"

"Coming in tomorrow," Lupin said with a smirk.  "Arsene wants to kill someone."

"Ray said someone wanted to kill her," Goemon warned. "They're watching the hotel for him."

"Hmm, sounds like the cops decided this was a *good* idea," Jigen said bitterly.  "Xander's there, she'll get him for it," he promised Lupin.

"I'm sure," Lupin agreed calmly.  He knew the girls wouldn't be in before tomorrow, Lotus was making some sort of healing syrup for her brother and they were guarding her.

Back at the hotel, Xander finished teaching Fred, Sarah, and Kenji how to rewire an alarm on a window using a gum wrapper or two, plus the gum, and how to hang people out of the window they had just defeated.  Then they left the nice tourist's room and went back to their own, letting the tourists sleep the sleep of the heavily drugged.   It was on the side of the hotel, so no one would be finding him for a while.

***

Ishi woke up to being patted and groaned, forcing himself to sit up.  "What?" he asked, blinking at his baby brother. "When did you get here?" he asked, taking him to cuddle.  Kenji patted the bandages gently, for a toddler, and kissed him on the nose.  "Yes, thank you those do hurt and I love you too, little guy."  He hugged him again, looking around.  "My father?"

"Went to the bathroom," Jigen told him.  "Xander went to check on where the idiot was sent to.  It took them six hours to find the other cop."

"What other cop?"

"The one who came after me," Arsene said from her father's seat.  She smiled and waved.  "Amanda said you'd better be okay or else she's going to kick him in the nuts for you.  Which is really violent for your girl, Ishi."

He nodded.  "It is.  Tell her I'll see her in a few days or so."

"Try more like two weeks," Jigen offered.

"But that's okay because we've gotten all your homework for you and already done it," Melissa finished with a grin from her place on her father's lap.  "Yu helped by making some pretty patterns on the edges of the paper.  We did everything but your math homework."

"Thanks, guys," he said fondly, smiling sadly at them.  "How bad is it?"

"The doc'll be changing bandages in a bit," Jigen offered.  Goemon came back in carrying the missing baby.  "See, I told you he went to the bathroom."

"Yes, and the baby went to terrorize the nurses with his new-found crawling ability."  He set the baby on the bed, watching as he crawled up to pounce his big brother.  "Where is Lotus?"

"Finishing the healing serum," Melissa told him.  "That one bully will try to say you're weak because you didn't get your attacker back by yourself but the rest of them are already working on him.  They know that you were ambushed and unable to at that time.  As an added incentive, Melissa sent out an email to Teddy about what happened.  He sent his sympathy to your inbox and a virtual card saying he'd hug you next convention you were both at."

Ishi nodded.  "Thanks.  Anything else I should know?"

"Yeah, Vecchio kicked him out of his family," Arsene said dryly.  The adults nodded at that, it was only proper.  "So he's going back friendless too."

"I still can't believe they let him go back," Melissa complained.  "They punish him by sending him to a barren wasteland of a place, which is where he asked for?"

"It wouldn't be proper for them to give him a *good* post," Jigen offered, patting her on the back.  "If Ishi had been a normal kid he'd have been punished, but punishing him for taking out an up-and-coming thief would have only made him a martyr for some people, sweetheart.  More people would have tried.  So he's officially being banished right back to where he came from, exiled from Interpol back to the Canadians, who hate him because he exposed a cop who killed another one."

"He's still being rewarded!"

"Shh, calm down, Melissa," Arsene soothed, standing up to give her a hug.  "We're the punishment.  Us, the dads, and the mom."

"They couldn't stick him someplace he'd hate, like Toronto or Montreal, that would be a prime placement that most Mounties would want.  It'd send the wrong message," Jigen pointed out.  "So they supposedly exiled him to the frozen north and he'll be staying up there until something ends his life or his career."

"Good, I hope like hell it's suicide," Ishi offered.  Everyone nodded, that was possible.  "Can I have more grown-up hugs?"  His father moved to hug him, making him feel much better.  "Thanks, dad."

"You're welcome, son."  He played with a bit of his hair.  "It's getting long again."

"It's going to be staying long too," Ishi warned dryly.  "I'm going to want to hide these things for a bit."

"That's okay because the new headmistress said that you're getting shaved nearly bald when you get back," Arsene said with a smirk.  "The same as she's ordered the barber not to cut my hair at all."

"When are we moving to finish driving her off?" Melissa asked.

"Next week."  She smirked at Goemon.  "She's a bit of a bitch, Uncle G.   You'd want to hit her too."

"I'm feeling the itch to play some leapfrog with her," Melissa noted.  Everyone stared at her in confusion.  "Leap frog?  Where you bounce over someone's back while shoving them into the ground, or in her case, hot tar?"

Arsene nodded.  "I like that idea.  I'll have to keep that in mind."  She snuggled against Jigen's side.  "We'd be pouncing you for a hug too but we figured you'd not want it."

"No, I don't need you to pounce me," he agreed, smirking at her, then holding a hand over his cheek.  "When can I see the damage?"

"It should only be a few moments," Goemon offered.  "I'll be in here with you while Jigen and the girls take the babies."  Ishi nodded, that was fine with him.  "Your sister will be up tonight with her potion."

"Okay.  As long as it helps some," he agreed.  "I ache, dad."

"As you should, son, you have a great many stitches in your cheek."  He stroked gently over the back of the bandage.  "We'll figure it out, son.  You can hurt him with me if you want."

"Probably, yes," he agreed as a nurse stuck her head into the room.  "Can I get up and pee before he changes the bandages?"  She nodded, coming in to help him out of the bed and into the bathroom.  Once he was resettled the doctor came in and everyone but his father disappeared.  "I want to see how bad it is," he ordered.

The doctor nodded.  "I figured you would.  Boys your age are very conscious of how you look.   Do you want him in here with you?"

"He's my father, of course I do," Ishi agreed.  "He'll need to see how much therapy I'll need too."

The doctor nodded and brought the tray closer, picking up a pair of scissors to cut the lengths of gauze around his forehead.  They were removed, then the bandages on his cheek and chin.  Finally the doctor looked at him for a moment before handing over a mirror.  "It's better than we had hoped for, Mr. Ishikawa."

"There's a raised spot," Ishi noted.

"Yes, we did that so the pieces would match exactly.  There was some tissue loss around the center. If we had flattened it out you would have had two longer joining lines and one smaller one instead of three small ones.  If it bothers you, you could have it removed."

"No, I like this just fine.  I can see that cheekbone now," Ishi said, looking at his father.  "Well, I'm not hideous," he said, his voice trembling.  His father simply hugged him, letting him cry for a moment, then soothing him until he was feeling better.  Ishi handed back the mirror.  "How long and will I need more treatments?"

"We'll want you here tonight at least and you shouldn't unless you want that extra bump of skin removed.  You could have the scars bleached once they're fully healed. There's laser resurfacing for that sort of thing."  Ishi and his father both nodded.  "It's much better than we had expected."  He looked at the face critically.  "I've sent pictures from last night to your doctor in Switzerland.  I should take some more.  It looks much better this morning."  He took a camera off the tray and snapped a few.  "There, I'll send these to Molly.  I'll be releasing you into her care, young man.  So follow it.  No getting those wet.  No sports for a good month after you've healed, just in case so you don't damage the cheek further, and get your eyes checked in case something was sent into them.  I couldn't find anything and we did an eye wash before surgery but I'd still recommend that."  Ishi nodded.  "Anything else?"

"Not at the moment," Goemon offered.  "I thank you for doing such an excellent job on my son."

"It's what I do, sir.  Kids like your son are good to work on."  He slathered some gel on his face then rebandaged it.  "That's some neosporin-type gel to help encourage healing and to keep infection out.  Leave it on there.  The swelling should finish going down within a week so we'll have a final estimate of how scarred it'll be at that time."  He nodded before leaving.

Jigen, Lupin, and Xander walked back in with all the kids.  "How does it look?" Xander asked anxiously.

"Swollen, red, but better than it could be," Ishi said calmly.  "Thank you for getting me treated so fast."

"I can't see you guys in misery," she promised, giving him a gentle hug.  "Lay down."  He did so she handed over a candy bar she had gotten him with a grin.  "A treat."

"Thanks."  He unwrapped it and bit a piece off, chewing slowly to savor it.  "This is really good.  A new company?"

"One who just hit me up for a donation," she said with a wink.  She sat on the end of his bed.  "I had Ethan look over Lotus' shoulder and he said she's gotten it perfect so far. Marcus agreed.  Did it look okay?  He said something about going for esthetically pleasing instead of absolutely proper."

"He did and the lines aren't as bad as they could be," Goemon promised. "He did a good job on my son."

"Um, dad, I kinda told them that mom was the stepmom," Ishi offered.  He ate another bite of candybar.

"It's fine, son.  It got you treated faster," he agreed.  He looked at Xander.  "Did you also tell his actual mother?  I heard something about a letter."

"I did.  I sent it in with her lawyer, along with an after picture," she admitted.

"Hey, there's orange pieces in here," Ishi said happily, taking another bite.

Xander grinned at him then looked at Goemon again.  "She yelled for Gramps for hours until he came down to talk to her.  Then she tried to kill him."

"Sounds reasonable to me," Jigen agreed.  Lupin nodded.  "Anything else of note?"

"Ishi needs to eat dinner with his candy," Melissa offered. Her father gave her an odd look.  "I doubt he's eaten real food since yesterday, father, and I know what candy on an empty stomach can do to him.  He'll run the nurses ragged."

"Fine," Xander agreed, smirking at her.  "You missed it, Fred is quite helpful when hotwiring a window alarm.  Nearly as good as you were, 'Lis."

"That's my boy," Lupin said proudly.

Jigen looked up.  "Why me?" he mouthed, cracking up Goemon.  "What?"

"Your daughters are just like you," Xander promised, giving him a long hug and a kiss.  "There, feel better?"

Jigen smirked at her.  "A little bit.  Can I have more?"

She chuckled and kissed him again.  "There.  Now sit down and brood at the nurses so they go all mushy and coo at you again, dear."  He sat down like the good boy he pretended to be for her.  "You too, Lupin."

"Which one?  I don't think I like nurses that much yet," Arsene offered. "I'm waiting to try women until I get bored with men."

"I do have a few pretty nurses," Ishi agreed.

"That tends to make the time go faster," Lupin offered with a smirk for him.  "Should we smuggle out your girl for a few hours?"

"We've already called her mother and she said she'd allow her out this weekend," Melissa assured him.  "That's in two days so Ishi should still be here then.  Yes?"  Ishi groaned.  "For the chance of seeing her?"

"Then if I must, I'll stay," he sighed.  "If not, I'll go meet her in the park with chaperones or something."  He looked at Xander, who grinned.  "Wanna go?"

"Gee, the last time she and her mother saw me I was dressed as some warrior queen.  Think they'll be shocked at me in normal clothes?"

"One can only hope," Ishi said dryly.  He nibbled another bite of candybar then grinned.  "I like these people, mom.  Can we fund them?"

"Sure, kiddo.  They're small and exclusive so they've got some risk but we'll talk about it later, once everyone else is gone and I'm here guarding you."

"You don't have to," he offered.

"Fat chance, kiddo.  We'll be guarding you in shifts," Jigen assured him with a smirk.  "That way you can leer at the nurses at times and not at others."

"Hell, leer away.  Pretty nurses are a wonderful thing," Xander agreed. The nurse stuck her head in.  "He's fine."

"Yes, ma'am, but there's an officer here wanting to take a statement.  Should I let him in?"

"Which one?" Arsene asked.

"An Inspector Vecchio?"

"Sure, we like Ray enough," Xander agreed.  "He'll be safe with us."  She nodded and left to bring him in.  "Hey.  You okay?"

"Stunned stupid that Benny would do this," he said bitterly.  He looked at Ishi's bandages.  "It coulda been worse, kid."

"I know.  For some reason I ducked."  He held out the candybar.  "Want a piece?  It's orange."

"Sure."  He broke off a corner with a grin.  "So, the official records needed a statement.  Can you give one?  I had Ray K break into your email when Benny admitted to sending the challenge that way.  By the way, Amanda sent you a virtual card."

"You can use my laptop," Lupin promised.  "Want us to leave, kiddo?"

"No, you're good," he assured them, looking at Ray.  "I snuck out of the school.  The matter of my honor is very important to me.  My line may have thieves and assassins but we are honorable in our methods and means."  Ray nodded, taking notes while his tape recorder ran.  "I snuck out of the school through the pool area.  There's an unguarded and unalarmed emergency door through the girls' locker room that I usually use.  I ran into the woods and to the nearest town, where I used my train pass to get into Paris.  I went to the address from the second email.  Um, I may have accidentally deleted that one so you'll have to check my trash."  Ray nodded, making another note of that while Lupin pulled out a laptop and plugged it into the wall to start it.  "I went there, making sure I wasn't followed or being tailed by your kind.  I got there, it was run-down and looked abandoned.  I started to open the door and something told me to duck, so I did.  I turned and ducked at the same time if I remember right.  The next thing I know I'm being woken by someone poking at my cheek wearing an ambulance uniform."

"His bag of things had his wallet," Xander told him.

Ray raised an eyebrow.  "So either someone called the ambulance fairly fast or no one dared to touch him?"  Xander shrugged.  "Fine.  We can ask about that.  Benny may have called them himself.  He was like that."  He scratched his forehead.  "Okay, kiddo.  What place did you get sent to?  Do you remember it by description?"

"That place where Mom said she busted my mom," he said weakly.

"Interesting," Lupin agreed, turning his laptop around.  "It's in his trash but I moved it back to the regular box, Ray."

"Thanks.  Anything else to add?"

"He may live for a bit longer," Ishi offered.  "I'm not promising though."

Ray nodded.  "I'm not sure but I think he may want that, kid."  He slumped a bit and popped his neck.  "Benny turned himself in right after the explosion.  He asked to be exiled.  He asked that we tell you where so you could settle things 'your way' as he put it.  So yeah, I think he's wanting it."

"It'll look bad if we don't," Lupin said calmly.

"His face looks worse," Ray offered.  "He had to go with whatever doctor was on shift."

"Maybe, but that's not really making me feel great, ya know?" Ishi offered sourly.  "We'll consider the implications of his actions."

"That's all I ask," Ray agreed, lightening up some.  "Ray K wanted to know if you needed your comics forwarded.  Or simply bought.  He's found a new shop and we won't let him into it without a chaperone."

"Sure," Ishi agreed happily.

"I can send him a list later," Jigen offered.  "I'm keeping track of both collections for the fanboys."

"Hey, I'm not the one who bought the ten thousand dollar comic," Ishi said smugly.

"It was a present," Jigen defended.

Lupin and Xander looked at each other.  "I'm sensing a present," Xander said happily.  "Since there's three fanboys and Lupin, who's a mild addict now, which one gets it, Jigen?"

"Whichever one gives me the best blow tonight," he said smugly.

"Which is unfair and mean, 'cause we all know my cheek won't stretch that way right now," Ishi offered dryly, pouting at him when Jigen looked his way.  "Don't I get one?"

Xander kissed him on the forehead.  "Of course you do.  We'll find you a great prezzie, Ishi.  Count on it, little man."  She grinned at Ray.  "Right?"

"Probably.  My mom always cooked.  My first graze, my ex and I didn't have to cook for a year."

"You were married?" Melissa asked.  Ray nodded, looking smug.  "Wow.  You don't seem like you'd be that comfy living with someone in that manner.  More like you're the wild and carefree bachelor."

"Bachelors are lonely," Ray advised.  "Married men are only lonely if their wives don't pay attention to them due to their idiocy."

"Oh, I don't know," Lupin said smugly.  "I kinda enjoyed it while it lasted.  Then I got the ever-changing woman so now I'm more than happily settled down in near-domestic bliss."

Xander gave him a long look, then smirked at Jigen.  "Think he means it?" Jigen shook his head, giving him a wise look.  "Think he wants to climb into bed with a showgirl from the strip?"

Jigen nodded. "Oh, yeah.  I caught him looking."

"Hell, you caught me looking," Arsene said dryly.  "She had some massive hooters that couldn't be real."

"Some women are naturally that big," Lupin offered dryly.

"Not if they stand up at her age and at that size, plus they didn't bounce, they didn't move, and it was like they were set in concrete."

"Hmm, bad boob job," Melissa agreed.  "Remind me to get a good doc to do mine when I get tired of sagging breasts."

Her father swatted her.  "Not a chance.  Not while I'm alive."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Yes, daddy.  Then again, there's every chance you'll be dead before I finish puberty."  He grimaced at her so she gave him her cutest look.  "What?  I could be a woman that Uncle Lupin would like if I wanted."

"You're too young for me," he sighed, almost making it to a defeated look.

"Okay, or the younger one," Melissa offered.  Arsene leered at her.  "Think I'd look good with big hooters?"

"Daughter," Xander warned.  "You have more respect for your body than that.  Live with what you have, before you end up with a set like mine."  The girls shuddered and clung to their fathers.  "Thank you."  She looked at Ishi.  "You, no picking up your uncle's bad habits and trying to feed each night."

"I don't like breasts.  I like to snuggle so far," Ishi assured her with a small smirk.  His father moaned.  "Sorry, dad."

"No, I must come to terms with you growing older and having adult relationships."  He settled himself in the corner.  "One day soon you too shall want advice on how to train a son of your own.  At that time I will laugh as you yank your hair out and learn that being peed on is the ultimate reason for fatherhood."

"Your father had a whole philosophy built on what he learned from changing your diaper," Xander agreed happily.   "Some day you'll expand on it."

"If I live long enough to have kids," Ishi pointed out triumphantly.  "I hate kids.  I like babysitting, but I couldn't stand being a father full time."

"That's a depressing thought," Ray announced.   Ishi gave him a hurt look.  "You're looking forward to dying young?"

"No, I really want to retire to a nice beach with a mountain-side home and a few geishas to wait hand and foot on me," he told him.  "I'd settle for that at least."  He gave him a smug look.  "I could do with a harem too."

"Don't worry, Ishi, we'll find you a willing harem," Arsene promised.  "As long as you share some of them now and then."  They shared smirks then smirked at Melissa, who sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Children," Melissa complained, looking at her father.  "At least one of them *will* grow out of that, right?"

Jigen shook his head.  "That sounds decent to me too."

"I'd mind," Xander pointed out dryly.

"We'd bring you so you could be the queen or king of it," Lupin offered smugly.

"If you did, I'd have to take them all from you," she said smugly.  "Then what would you do?"  She looked at Ishi again.  "Don't worry, you'll have a son eventually.  Even if we have to find a good mother and put you two together," she promised.  "Then Lupin can be a grandpa and corrupt another generation."

"Speaking of the future of crime, where is the Fifth?" Jigen asked.

"With Amanda.  She offered to watch him for me."  Lupin looked at her cohorts.  "My baby's lonely.  I should find it a buddy.  Maybe Lotus can turn the mountie into a ferret to play with him."

"Turn Kowalski, he'd make a better ferret," Vecchio said dryly.  The door opened and Zenigata walked with a small potted plant.  "Hey.  I'm done with the statement if you need me."

"Not yet," he admitted, handing over the plant.  "Here.  From the wife.  She's presently sobbing and threatening Fraser's life if she ever sees him again."

"Cranky pregnant women are fun," Lupin noted. "Remember Xan with the girls?  Remember what happened when someone tried to take the ice cream truck down the street?"

Jigen snickered, tipping his hat down further.  "Yup."

Xander frowned at them, hands now on her hips, one foot tapping.  "I wasn't as bad as Dawn is," she said firmly.  Her men shook their heads.  "Was I?"  They shook their heads again, still giving her smug looks.  "Remember, Janus needs another child and he's seeming to like guys at the moment."

Jigen crossed his legs as tightly as he could. "He can have Lupin.  I'm not one of his."

"We're all one of his now," Arsene noted.  "Just because we help and work with ones who are."

"And those of us who begged and pleaded for him to help?" Melissa asked dryly.

"Hey, I never said some of us weren't more of his type than others," she defended.  "Dad, Mom, and I are wholly his."

"Am not," Lupin defended.  "He simply likes me," he said when everyone stared at him in disbelief.  "I'm the one who keeps throwing his statue out the window."

"Yeah, and I keep getting heavier and heavier ones, dad.  Gee, thanks.  The next one will be solid gold and marble."

"Plus, probably about six feet tall," Ishi offered.  "Then you can snuggle up to the rock- hard body of the God."

"Which would make some of us have nightmares."  Xander looked at him.  "Don't suggest such things.  I don't want to walk into a museum some day and find her molesting the statues."

"Most artists make their statues tiny in to placate the narrow little puritan minds that seem to run museum boards," Arsene sniffed.  "Besides, it's easier to buy good toys that feel real.  Just like your collection, dad."

Lupin coughed.  "Not mine."

Xander smirked at her.  "Touch them again, find yourself in an ever-lasting chastity belt that's magically held in place."  She shuddered and clutched her father's arm harder.  "Good girl," she praised with mock-sweetness.  "Remember, making us a grandmother will mean that you'll never get to steal anything ever again."

"I compromised, I got a ferret," she said patiently.  "Now my baby needs a sibling."

"Only if we finally find out what sex it is and find one of the same sex," Jigen said firmly.  "I'm not changing ferret diapers."

Lupin noticed Pops was looking thoughtful so he smirked at him.  "If someone should help her with that desire and there comes a bunch of baby ferrets, that person would be gifted with the whole litter and the mother so they could take care of them," he said smartly.  "They'd probably get along very well with his cats."

"Probably not," Zenigata said with a small shrug.  "Dawn might like it and the boys definitely would."  He looked at Ishi, who was napping now.  "Poor kid.  He okay?"  Everyone nodded.  "Good.  Dawn wanted to know.  Ray?"  Vecchio waved and walked out, tucking his recorder and notebook away as he followed his boss out the door.

"Okay, let's set up a formal watch," Xander announced.  "I call night."  Everyone drew their spots and those who'd need sleep left.  Xander sat down beside the bed, taking Ishi's hand to hold onto for as long as her stepson let her.  He curled around it, making her grin at him.  "We'll be fine.  Even if I have to work on your image, little guy.  She'll be stunned and amazed."

***

Fujiko looked up as her cell door opened and he nemesis walked in.  "What do *you* want?" she sneered, curling up tighter in her bunk.

"To give you pictures of your son now that the swelling's going down," Jigen said, tossing a few polaroids at her.  "There, for your collection.  Xander's already working on his image and the docs said that they might fade mostly by the time he's an adult. If not, there's always resurfacing if necessary."  He looked her over.  "You sane?"

She growled.  "I was before!  She stole what was mine!"

"You gave it up, bitch.  You gave up your kids, Goemon's affection, and all of it because you were too spoiled to share the attention.  It was a good thing Xan was there to take up some of slack, huh?  Otherwise those kids might have died of neglect by now."  Fujiko shuddered and curled up against herself.  "Maybe if you learn the meaning of unselfish behavior he might let you back, I doubt it but it might happen."

"Lupin?"

"No, Goemon.  Lupin's decided to take the 'ex's strategy.  Goemon's upset by you so therefore he hates you for hurting him."  He shrugged and tossed over a pack of cigarettes.  "Your daughter sent that."  He walked out, heading back out to the car to head back to the hospital.  He had no idea why Lotus had asked him to do that, but she had.  It had felt good though.

Fujiko opened up the pack of cigarettes, expecting something like a wire saw.  All she saw were cigarettes.  She pulled one out and lit it, inhaling the smoke.  She noticed the smoke was gathering and in it was a small black spot.  She grabbed the smokes and pictures, standing up to look at it.  Then she let out a scream as she disappeared into the hole.

"Now she'll know what aloneness is like," Lotus said smugly, letting her teacher go.  "Thank you.  Should I take you to Ethan or Dawn's?  We did the last portal spell at his house."

"His if you wouldn't mind," he said calmly.  It had been a small price to pay for getting her help.  She really was quite powerful.  He vowed to look up the witch that everyone compared her to when he got back to his own world.  He grabbed his lone bag and took her hand, letting her set the traveling spell.  He had learned quite a lot while teaching her what he knew.  They landed in the back of an English garden and the lights inside the house came on.  He nodded at the one man he knew.  "Marcus."

"Come along.  Ethan's in the altar room giving Rupert his next lesson in subservience in Janus' name," he said quietly.  "Thank you, Lotus.  Do you feel better now?"  She nodded and disappeared again.  "Come," he repeated, leading him inside.  "You can put your things in here," he offered, opening a door. "It's usually mine but I've been with those two this whole trip.  How is Ishi?"

"Doing much better.  His sister sent him some healing elixir and it should help heal him greatly."  He dropped his bag off and followed the young sorcerer back to where his host was using his toy brutally.  "Ethan," he said respectfully.

"Want some of him, Severus?  He's quite good."

"No, thank you.  I have no desire for that sort of exercise."  He walked in and sat down.  "Can we really get me home?"

"Of course," he agreed happily.  "I know just how to do so and I've already gotten it worked out.  You'll be going around dawn and it'll be a longish trip so you may want to rest.  Or do things that you'll never forget, yet no one will ever find out about," he suggested smugly.  "Are you sure?  Rupert's taken to his duties quite well."

Severus shook his head.  "That's quite all right.  I don't tend to defile or touch holy objects."  He went back to his room to read the books he had confiscated.

***

Giles knelt in front of the altar.  "Lord Janus," he whispered.  "I'm sorry if my disbelief harmed you.  I have truly learned my lesson. You are quite real, quite well endowed, and more than willing to have fun with my body.  Have I served my penance yet?  Please, Lord, I am sore and cannot sit."

The statue looked down at him. "It is time for Ethan to remember his early training as well," the head on the left offered gently.

"After he returns the wizard," the second head said firmly.

"Of course, Lord, I thank you and bless your name," Rupert said, standing up with a hiss of pain.  "I believe he was a bit rough this time."

"I've drawn you a bath, Rupert," Marcus said from the doorway.  "That should help most of it and I did mix in some of the healing bubble bath you like so much."  He walked him up to the bathroom he had been using, helping him into the warm water so he could watch the pleasure.  "Do you think I might have a go at it too?" he asked, plainly begging.

"Go ask," Rupert said tiredly.  Marcus grinned and trotted out to do just that.  "I will pay you back for that engorgement charm," he said bitterly.  Yes, there would be merry hell to pay, all of it for Ethan while he danced on the end of his dick.

Impression Management

Xander looked at her might-as-well-be oldest son and sighed.  "Okay, I've had enough of the sulking," she announced.  Ishi frowned at her.  "Yes, you.  No more sulking.  We are going to do something to cheer your gloomy ass up.  Up!  Right now!"  She went to find Lupin in his office, leaning down to give him a hug, and stealing his wallet at the same time.  "I'm taking Ishi out for the night.  Don't wait up.  It's already gonna be dinner by the time we get in."  She strolled out, gathering her cloak from the front closet and her keys from Jigen's hand, then drug the poor young man out.  She knew he was sulking because his cheek still hurt from where it had been split open and that the small burn pits were making him pout because he had been quite handsome before.  Now his first instinct was to hide and it was understandable, but he couldn't be allowed to turn into a shy wallflower.  It wasn't who Ishi was.  You couldn't be a shy little guy and a samurai; it wasn't natural.

So he drug his victim out of the house and out to the garage, taking Lupin's car since hers was now gone back to the rental place again.  They sped off with a beep for the house and hurried on before anyone could say anything.  "Here, hold this," she ordered, handing over the wallet.  "Le's see.  First we need to do something about your hair.  If we're growing it out, it'll come out a mop in the shape it's in.  Then we're going to get you some clothes, and a nice, quiet trip to the eye doctor should round it out."  The young man shifted in his seat.  "Yes, I saw you squinting at your math book last night.  Tough, deal with it and move on.  If you can't see, you can't fight as well, and then you'll just have to settle down to have kids.  Just don't have them with Arsene, please."  Ishi shuddered and slunk down a bit more.  "Good boy.  We'll do the eye exam first if possible.  If not, we'll do dinner and a quick round of a certain shopping area Ethan showed me," she noted smugly, shifting gears up as they hit the main road.  She didn't care if there was a cop car across from them and every law enforcement agency in the galaxy had the make, model, and plate on this car.  She clearly wasn't Lupin.  Ishi clearly wasn't his father either so it'd be fine.  She tooted at one familiar car as she sped past them, chuckling as Vecchio turned his car around and tried to give chase, but she knew these roads better than he ever could.  Jigen had retaught her how to drive on them and they had gotten waylaid in many...interesting places.

***

Xander drug Ishi into the eye doctor's the next morning.  They hadn't been open last night but this morning they not only had an opening but the specialist was in and for a nice 'tip' he had agreed to look at her son's eyes.  "Hi, Ishi Harris?" she told the receptionist.

"I'm fine!" Ishi whined.  She cuffed him across the back of the head.  "Yes, Xander."

"Thanks."  She smiled at the receptionist again.  "Should I pay up front?"  The woman nodded so she handed over the unlimited credit card she had stolen, getting an awed look for the pure black American Express.  "It's a family thing," she said with a wink.  She looked over as a lab-coated man walked out of the back with a folder.  "Hopefully his records from the ER?" she asked.  The doctor started, then looked at them and nodded.  "Thank you.  I'm Xander, we talked on the phone," she said, holding out a hand with a subtle smile.  "The moving target is my stepson, Ishi.  Son!"  He slunk back.  "He thinks they'll make him look geeky," she confided, "but he needs them.  He's squinting and he wasn't before the explosion."

"That's fine.  Let's start with the basic tests.  Then we'll move onto the camera and the physical exam."

"The air in the eye, match the boxes, and the light?" Xander asked.  The doctor nodded.  "Cool.  Should I come back, just to restrain him?"

"No, I think he'll be fine," the doctor promised with a smile. "Going blind is a fate worse than death for someone in the more...dubious fields."  He smiled at Xander and she shrugged, smiling back.  "He is?"

"Goemon's son."

"Ah.  Then you are Lupin the Fourth's mother?"  She nodded.  "Very well.  Come along, Ishi.  Let's start the basic tests.  The sooner we're done, the sooner you'll be released."  He led the young man back there, closing the door to the exam area behind them.

Xander sighed and sat down, then got up to look at frames.  She was sure Ishi was going to need something to correct whatever was going on and she wanted the baby to be hot and feel better about everything.  The receptionist came over to help, pointing out a group of frames that were basically arms and nose pieces.  "I like that," she admitted.  "He'll need to look better than cute, but not nerdy.  He said he's pretending to not be smart," she shared with a small shrug.  "The boy's odd.  He's also into his physical training.  Can we make sure he gets something that'll work for that?  There's not always time to change glasses when you're attacked."

"Then I would suggest these," she offered, pointing at a pair of frames that were twisting on a pedestal.  "These are titanium but they're memory metal as well."  She heard Ishi yell.

"Do not hurt him, Goemon Ishikawa the Fourteenth," Xander yelled.  "That's necessary!"  She smiled at the receptionist.  "It's a statement to his really good training that it wasn't the doctor yelling."

The receptionist looked impressed.  "Then he's got to be one of the great ones.  If you don't like those, how about these?  I noticed his skin's not very yellow in cast, but it's got some underhints of the color.  If you pick something like this, which is a tawny tortoiseshell then it could suit his skintone very nicely."

Xander held them up to the light.  "I'm not too sure of the shape but I like the color.  We'll see how they look on him."  She handed them back and they went into the pile with a silver pair of the titanium ones and a pair of the frameless ones.  She found a set on the back wall and looked at them, then grinned.  "How about these?"  She held them out.

"Those I like," she admitted, looking at them.  "These look nice, they'd be rather obvious instead of blending in, but he might look good in them.  What does he wear the most?"

"Blue, black, and grey."

"Then those blue and gold mottled might be for the best."

"Plus they've got a matte finish.  Very important when you're in the shadows."  She looked over as the doctor came out frowning.  "Did he hit you?"

"No, but I found some debris."  She slumped a bit and he nodded.  "We can do a new eye rinse, but it may not take care of the problem.  I found a few micro cuts on his left eye and it looks like a pressure injury to both eyes.  We'll need to do this soon."

"Hey, I have authority to treat.  Do you need me to come knock him out or do we have to go somewhere else?"

"I can do the eyewash here.  The pressure injury will have to heal and a lot don't.   He was lucky he had his head turned or his eyes would be pulp."

"Then you do whatever you have to do and we'll deal and amend his training to doing it sightless if we must," she promised gruffly.  She waited until he was gone to sniffle.  "Oh, Gods, I had no idea or I would have drug him in sooner."

"Shh, it's all right.  Some things take special tests to find.  Pressure injuries aren't that uncommon in explosions."  She patted her on the arm.  "He would have said if your stepson was going fully blind, really."

Xander strengthened her resolve and nodded.  "Good.  I knew I picked right.  Thank you.  We need to make him look hot and so he can wear them without being bothered by them."

"After a few weeks, he won't notice them as much," she promised.  "Or maybe there's contacts."  Xander nodded, taking a look around the store to pick out a new set of frames to add to the pile.  She handed Xander a pamphlet on contacts and found another set.  By the time Ishi was done, there were twelve frames waiting on him and a few more out in backup.  She took the chart from the doctor and looked inside.  "Okay.  We can do that by tomorrow since we have our own lab.  Let's start with color and then we'll go for shape."

"I can't wear contacts for a few more years," Ishi said quietly, looking at Xander. "My eyes are still changing as I grow and the injuries won't let me."

"That's okay.  We can deal with glasses.  They make unbreakable lenses and we can tint them and get you clip-ons as sunglasses."  She gave him a hug.  "You'll be fine. I'll make sure of it."

"Yes, mom," he agreed, hugging her.  "What torture devices did you find?"

"Try these on," the receptionist suggested, handing over a pair that came with clip-ons.

Xander considered it.  "It's the wrong color but the right shape," she decided, letting him see himself in the mirror.

"I look like a dork."

"It's this or being blind, son, and we can always adjust your image," Xander reminded him gently.

"If you pick out something you like, it can be the building block to your image," the receptionist offered.  "Maybe a longer curtain of hair so you can hide that cheek if you want, or to hide where you're watching?  Maybe a set of leather pants?"

"I see him more in rock star stuff," Xander offered.  "Jeans, t-shirts, hair that likes to tease the girls to play with it."  Ishi looked at her like she was insane.  "I do!"

"Uncles Lupin and Jigen would be very upset if I didn't get suits like they wear."

"Sweetie, you live in both worlds, and I'm getting you ones that are comfy and hot.  Pick out a set of frames and we'll deal with tinting and a set of sunglasses.  Then we'll work on clothes, including getting you your first official, original kimono."

Ishi nodded and looked at the others, finding another set that were in the same shape but slightly different colored.  He put them on and examined his face.  "I might be able to stand these, but they're tight."

The receptionist checked them and took them to find a more comfortable pair for him.  These two would not be asking for a discount, nor would they be getting them at normal retail price.  She found a pair in a drawer and looked at them.  They were older but they were the right shape.  They didn't have screws in the arm hinges, they were actual hinges. A novel design that had fallen out of favor a few years earlier.  She brought them back, letting him try them on.  The metal was very thin, the frames were tawny/gold/brown tortoiseshell.  He tried them on and his mother sighed.  "I think we've found an excellent pair.  A bit thin but fairly sturdy really.  I remember when we got those in.  I thought we had sent them all back.  Let me see if we can find a spare pair as well?"

"Yeah, he'll do the mottled blue ones," Xander ordered.  "And the silver pair in case he has to play geeky."  She looked at the clip-on sunglasses, which were mirrored.  "Not the best fashion statement but no one will be able to see your eyes," she offered.  "Plus, we can get the lenses in that 'changing tint' tint so you can wear them to shoot outside too without having to find the clip-ons."  She checked the other pairs, making sure they fit right.  The blue ones weren't the right size so another pair was found.  This one was smoky purple/greys/blues and had a matte finish as well.  "Yeah, I like those."  She let Ishi look in the mirror and he nodded that they were good enough. "What are we going to do until they're done?" she mused.

"As long as I don't have to read too much, I'll be fine," Ishi promised, kissing her on the cheek.  "We could do my hair tomorrow."

"Nope, we've got an appointment in two hours," she promised, handing back the card to the receptionist.  "Normal scratch proofing and extra heavy if possible. Anti-glare for outside and computers. Light tint and those progressive lenses."

"We can do either or," she offered.

"Get the blue lightly tinted with the progressive grey tint," Ishi ordered, pointing at the lense that started out dark on top and finished up clear on the bottom.  "Do it about half that strength in case I end up wearing them inside.  The gold set with the progressive ones that darken as it gets more bright.  The silver do a light grey or blue tint?"

"Get the light blue on those.  Light grey on the silver may look odd against all the blue you wear," Xander offered.

The receptionist wrote the order up and put the frames into a tray, then took the card to charge it for the new accessories.  "There we are," she said, presenting the slip, watching as Xander sighed.  "I'm assuming that you're authorized?"

"Oh, yeah," Xander said with a smug smirk.  "He'd better not change it either."  She winked and put an arm around Ishi's shoulders to lead him out of the store.  "Let's see, I said hair, right?"  Ishi nodded.  "Cool.  Come on, I'll treat you to a cappuccino before then.  I was mean and got you up really early."

"Thanks, mom."

"Hey, not an issue.  Stuff like this has to be done by me or you'd end up looking geeky.  Okay, it's going to be this way today.  Hair, clothes, suits, kimonos tomorrow morning then we'll drive back.  Got it?"  He nodded quickly, putting his head down.  "Ishi, it's not that bad.  I've seen worse, I really have."  He grimaced and touched his cheek.  "Hey, trust me, I saw it before they fixed it, it was a lot worse.  The remaining scars can be bleached or lasered off.  By the time you graduate to your final training you're gonna be fully healed, or as much as we can.  Right now though we've got to endure a few scars.  It doesn't mar you, baby boy.  It makes you look like a veteran in the field but it doesn't make you scary.  We'll even prove it to you tomorrow night if you want."  The son gave her a sideways look as they walked.  "Trust me I can prove to you that you're hot.  Your uncle had to do it to me enough times so I do know how to do that."

"Thanks, mom."  He gave her a hug then got free of her arm.  "Sorry, it's not cool to be cuddled and people will think we're together."

"People already think we're together, Ishi.  I look like I'm twelve.  I may be nineteen but I look like I'm twelve in this outfit, playing dress up.   Did you want to pop in on Murami?"

"No, that's okay.  Auntie Allowance is taking a few days off from what I heard."

"Good point."  She winked and opened a door, making him walk inside.  "Good boy.  Get a muffin too. You probably need it by now.  I remember what a bottomless pit I was at that age."  The girl behind the bakery counter gave her an odd look and she shrugged, grinning.  "I was."  She looked up at the board as Ishi picked out what he wanted.  "I want a cappuccino and one of those mint chocolate chip muffins."  She pulled out her wallet and handed over a smallish bill, taking the change and her breakfast to a table.  "Sit, eat, son."

"Yes, mom."  He sat down to nibble, head still tilted to the side slightly to hide that scar.

"Dear, doing that will hurt your neck, you'll end up like Quaismodo.  Besides, it draws attention to the area.  Sit up straight."  Ishi shifted and quit hunching down.  "Much better.  Thank you.  Eat."  Ishi dug in again, staring out the window as the pretty schoolgirls wandered past on their way to classes.  "Hmm, and another schoolgirl raises the skirt by a good foot.  I would not do that when I had thighs that looked that horrible."  Ishi gave her a shocked look.  "I wouldn't."

He chuckled. "You're so bad.  Are we getting you anything?"

"Not really.  Though we do need to go to the fabric shop later," she offered. Ishi looked at her but she didn't elaborate.   "Eat.  I shouldn't have to keep reminding you at your age."  He scarfed the rest and stole half her muffin since she was eating so slowly.  "Good boy."  She winked at him.  "You're gonna love this place, Ishi, I promise.  He's the guy who fixed my hair so I didn't have to have it cut for six months."  She smirked at his confused look. "You'll see."  She winked.  "Finish up so we can be on time. You don't have men like that waiting on you."  He nodded, finishing his coffee fairly quickly now that it had cooled off.  She finished hers as well and tossed out the trash before leading him out and to the car.  They were due a few miles away.  She walked Ishi into her favorite hairdresser's, sniffing the herbs floating in the air.  "Hmm, someone had to banish something.  Did you need help?" she asked her favorite hairdresser.

"No, we managed it," he said with a smirk, looking at her hair.  "You're starting to grow again."

"Yeah, but we're here for Ishi.  We're working on his look.  He'll be wearing glasses as of tomorrow.  The injuries are recent and his first instinct is to hide them. He needs your special help to start a new look."

"Hmm."  The hairdresser pulled the boy closer, into the good light, to look him over.  "Your hair's growing out now."

"My father wanted me to get a haircut, which is odd considering his is a shoulder-length bob."

"None of that for you.  I can do princely hair, like out of a fairytale."

"Um, he's still straight, not a flaming drag queen in a wig," Xander said tactfully, grimacing.  The hairdresser laughed.  "Make him beautiful, Henri.  He needs to be pretty for his girlfriend and for jobs.  People are going to underestimate him a lot already."

"Hmm."  He felt a few strands of hair. "Limp and fine.  Not coarse in the least.  Since I know I smell Xander's special shampoo I'll make sure you get your own supply.  How about this?" he suggested, whispering in Ishi's ear.

"Extensions?" he asked.

Henri snorted.  "No.  Not in this shop," he noted smugly.  "How is Ethan, pet?"

"Tired.  Ripper turned it around on him and now he's relearning his place under Janus' cock."

"Ah!"  He smirked.  "Even better.  Come into the back, young man.  I can do wonderful things for your hair."  He drug the boy with him, shutting the door behind them.  Xander didn't even worry, he wouldn't touch her son or he'd be dead.  But then she'd have to find a new hairdresser.  Oh, well, Ishi could hurt him if necessary.  She sat down to wait, using the nearby mirror to check her own hair.  It wasn't that bad yet.  It could use a trim though.

***

Xander walked Ishi into the exclusive clothier's and handed the toady salivating over Ishi's newly lengthened hair his special credit card.  It was now just about down to his shoulders, but it was very soft and it slightly covered his cheek.  It looked like something a top fashion model would have as hair.  "My son requires clothes to join the family business.  I want him to look suave, adorable, and sexy.  He'll need to be able to move since he does Kendo and other martial arts.  He'll be coming to the office with us now and then and he'll have to fit into the highest of the high circles.  Start with suits and work out from there.  We'll be doing casual clothes next."  The salivating toady took them back to a private room and brought out models wearing some of their most trendy suits for their inspection.   "No, we'll need hot, not trendy.  He'll need to look like he's drawing everyone within a ten mile radius," she ordered after a few duds.  Long coats on her baby?  Not!

Ishi shifted as one came in, pointing at it.  "What about that one?"

"Not bad," she noted, hauling him up to stand him next to the model.  "That might do," she admitted.

"What is the family business?" the toady asked.

"Acquisitions."

"Ah!  So he needs to fit in with royalty?"

"Yes, but I want him to look better than any mere royal brat.  He has both breeding and intelligence.  Some of the Saudi princes I've met in the past didn't quite have both."

He nodded and put that model aside, getting another set of clothes out of the back to look over.  He glanced at the card, then paused and shook his head.  Acquisitions.  Lupin.  He got it now.   That must make her....  He got the best of the best, knowing what she wanted now.  Acquisitions indeed.  Her son would be hotter than any model and any star, because otherwise she might take it out on him.

***

Xander brought the sleepy samurai into her favorite kimono shop the next morning, planting him in front of the proprietor.   "My stepson is a samurai in training.  He needs suitable attire as he is about to graduate to his higher levels of specialist training.  He likes to wear blue and we need suitable themes."

"What family is he from?" the old man asked.

"Goemon."

The man arched up an eyebrow.  "Indeed?"  Ishi nodded, stifling a yawn.  He cracked a smile.  "Ah, still young."

"Just tired.  We did this sort of thing with Western clothes yesterday," Ishi said dryly, smirking at him.   "Do you have anything?  I know my father only has three."

"One which is mine and I gave him," Xander added.  "Plus his is getting thin so if we find anything in the casual sense I'll get him a new one too."

"Lupin's going to kill you for running up his credit card," Ishi noted, smirking at her.

"Not unless he never wants laid again, kid."  She smirked and winked.  "Trust me, when you have a man by the balls and moaning, he'll do anything.  Including adding you to his cards and giving you all the jewelry he's got stashed around the house.  Jigen gets some of the same perks as me because he's his second."

"More than I wanted to know," Ishi pointed out, turning to the older man again.  "Sorry.  She's not had her caffeine this morning."

"Oh, we've dealt with her before, in both forms," he said wisely.  "Thinking over my stock, I do have a few that would suit you, both causal and formal.  Plus one for your father almost exactly like his present one.  When is your sister coming in?"

"Next year, after she starts her cycle," Xander said firmly.

"Very good then.  Come into the back, let us look at what I have on hand."  He led Ishi into the back, letting him look over the drawers he was pulling out.  "That second one is one I'm not sure of.  It's a death theme really.  Not exactly what I would put you in, but you seem like you could carry it off."

"I have had to kill in the past," Ishi offered quietly, looking at them.  "I like that one just on the colors."  He pushed in the drawers he didn't like, leaving six open and the one that was clearly for his father.  "These?"

"Good choices.  Strong patterns and in colors that accent your skin.  Very traditional but still modern.  Ah, here's one I have been meaning to give to her.  Alexandra?"  She came back and he pointed at the last drawer.  "For you."  He looked at the others, pointing at one of the selections.  "I'm still not sure about that one.  It is a very mature theme."

Xander looked at it, then at him.  "Isn't that for geisha's?"

"No," he snorted.  "It is for males.  Just sexually excited males."

"I think he's a bit young for that one.  Maybe for his coming of age ceremony."  She kissed Ishi on the cheek.  "Other than that, I like them.  Even the one with the death written in the pattern.  How did they weave a cloud that ate things?  Gaki?"  The shop owner nodded.  "Isn't that odd?"

"Very.  Then again, it can suit one whose business is death."

"I'll still take it," Ishi offered.  He bowed to the man.  "We thank you for your help."

"Not a problem.  In this, your aunt comes to me with clear challenges.  Hold on."  He wandered into the back, coming out with a few robes. "I had no idea why this was sent to me, but here."  He handed over the stack of robes.

"Ninja gear," Xander said in awe.  "Authentic.  Who?"

"An associate who said I should pass it onto you and your family," he said smugly.   "He did say that you could probably test out of the training requirements."

She sniffled.  "Wow.  That's just so...wow."  She hugged her son, it wouldn't be proper to hug the older guy.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Now, let me package these.  Wait out front for me."  She nodded, letting him have back the stack of dark grey clothes.  He waited until they were gone to smile at their choices.  She had wonderful taste and they were both well enough trained for is brother's tastes and skill levels.  He carefully wrapped each kimono separately then bundled all the packages together, walking out the stack to them.  He took the card, running it for them.  "Very well.  Do say hello to your father and bring him in sometime."

"I try," Xander sighed, rolling her eyes.  "He's being a moron again."  She wiggled her fingers.  "Thanks."  The card went back into her purse and Ishi got to carry out the heavy stack of cloth.  "C'mon, kid.  One last stop then to pick up your glasses.  Then we'll have lunch, go to the fabric shop, then out tonight."

"Why are we going to the fabric shop?"

"Because I need to pick up something," she said with a smirk and a wink.  She popped the back of the trunk and let him carefully pile the package into the back.  "Good job.  Get in."  He closed the trunk and got in to drive, which she didn't mind.  She handed over the keys.  He was very good at it, for only being thirteen, nearly fourteen.

***

Ishi looked at the fabrics she was considering, noticing she was looking at him each time she picked a new one.  "Hopefully that's not for me."

"No, sweetie, your father challenged me again.  He said I'd never be as great a thief as Lupin.  So I'm going to prove him wrong by taking the one thing that's always with him."  Then she smiled sweetly.  "What do you think?  Hot pink with the big purple polkadots or should we go with crimson and threads of silver?  The purple is soft and the dots are fuzzy but the crimson looks better."

"I'd go with the lurid pink one, just for shock value," he suggested, still not understanding.  "What are you doing to my father?"

"Don't worry, I'll have you and Lotus watching so you can tell him I didn't do anything like floating him or knocking him out."  She smirked at him.  "It'll be fun," she said with a wink.  She pulled the bolt of fabric with her and found one of the 'test' pieces at the end of a row.  It was purple, it was a stretch knit strapless top with a peplum, and Goemon would look horrible in it.  She took that too, smiling at the register worker.  "Can I buy this?  It's for a prank for a friend.  He's in for it this time."

"Sure," she agreed, nodding.  "How much of the fabric?"

"Um, about four feet if I remember right.  If not, it'll be kinda tight."  She shrugged and winked at Ishi.  "Next we'll go get your glasses and have them fitted, then we'll drop everything at the hotel, get dinner, and go out tonight."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, dear."

"Fine," he grumbled, pouting at her.  She kissed him on the cheek, making him sigh and wander out to the car.  Why wasn't he allowed to hide?

Xander took the bag and paid cash, then skipped out after her son, happily lost in her thoughts of what she was going to be doing to his father in a few nights.

***

Xander watched as Ishi came out, still fussing with his glasses.  "Leave them alone, dear," she ordered gently.  His hand dropped and he held out his arms so she could look him over.  "Very well done.  You look hot.  Let me find my shoes."  She stood up, letting her dress flow around her thighs while she walked.  She had a definite like for silk and this small dress had been wonderful.  She found her heels and slid into them, bending to buckle the ankle straps.  Then she looked at her son, who was still fidgeting.   "Stop that.  Are they uncomfortable?"

"No," he said quietly.  "I look dumb."

"You don't look dumb.  Come on."  She took his arm and the keys, leading him out of the room and down to have a cab called for them.  She had a quiet word with the doorman, getting him to bring the car to whichever club they were heading to.  She noticed the appreciative looks but Ishi was still staring at his feet.  "We need to go somewhere that the hot and pretty people go," she told he driver in flawless french.  "Somewhere he can be admired."

"He is pretty," the driver noted, heading off.  "You got cash?"  She pulled out a few bills from her bra and handed them through the slot.  "Thanks.  That should cover it."  He drove them to a club, watching as they got out.  She flashed something and the guards undid the rope like she was a Goddess.

The boy following her listened to those around him, as he had been taught, and nearly smirked at the girls who were wondering if he was one of the new American movie stars who was up and coming.  He followed her into the loud club, looking around for a moment until she took his hand and pulled him out onto the floor.  He was lost for a moment, but he could feel the music and that's what she was doing.  He had rhythm issues, but he could move somewhat.  Lupin had seen to that because she had wanted to take dance lessons as an elective and had needed a partner.  He soon found himself culled from his stepmother's side by a group of girls, all smiles and lusty scents.  He considered dumping them, but it was a heady experience.  Even the guys were hitting on him.  He could feel one behind him brushing up against his butt now and then.  The dance floor wasn't that crowded.  He danced with the girls, seeing the point now.  These girls liked how he looked.  He apparently wasn't geeky, stuffy, or ugly.  Even when he pushed some of his hair back behind his ear they only kissed his injured cheek and danced closer.  Wow!  Being offered a blow in the bathroom by a stewardess was *nothing* compared to this!  He could get used to this!  This must be how his uncle Lupin felt when he was in a social setting.  He smiled at them and one of them moved closer, latching onto his mouth.  He pulled back and smiled at her, but continued to dance with all of them.  He wasn't picking a specific partner.  He had a girlfriend.  He would have to keep that thought in mind or Amanda would kill him when he finally got back to school and she found out about this.

Xander grinned as she watched her baby be courted by six girls and a couple of guys.  The guy dancing in front of her wasn't bothered that she was looking, he was giving her a smug look.  "He's my stepson."  She winked and turned, moving to find someone else.  She glanced around and spotted a familiar head, making her grin.  "Oh, perfect," she noted, strolling that way to steal Ray K on his way past.  Who cared that he was supposed to be staking out the club with Ray V?  Ray V could find them later or watch Ishi.  That way he wasn't...distracted by anybody else.  Ray gave her a startled look but danced with her.  "Ishi needed his eyes checked and some new clothes.  Is that really this worthy?"

"Lupin the Fourth snuck into town too."

"Huh.  We'll have to pick her up later.  Where is she?"

"Probably the Louvre.  You know how she is about art," he noted between songs, looking at Ishi with her.  "He's hot."

"Tell me about it.  I did good," she said smugly.  "I'm also going to be jumped by some of the men in here if I don't have a big protector.  Would you like to be a big protector, Ray?" she asked in her best sultry tone of voice, making him swallow.  Someone rudely pulled him away and she smirked at him.  "Any idea where the daughter is?"

"Fun trip?"

"Ishi."

"I noticed the glasses and hair.  Nice job," Ray said dryly.  The music started again, the DJ change had gone well.  He noticed she was moving.  "Oh, no, I don't dance."

"Then let the other Ray come protect me from the leeches who I'll have to kill for trying to get into my panties."  She strolled off, heading back into the middle of the floor.

The two cops glared at each other, then Ray K shrugged and went to watch out for Ishi.  He had a better chance of stopping the kid if he was heading for the bathroom to get some.   Ray V threaded his way through the floor to Xander's side, grabbing onto her arm.  She spun and slapped him lightly, then smirked and started to dance with him.  It was hypnotizing in a way, the way she moved.  It was like she was oozing sex appeal and wantonness.  Now he knew why it took both Lupin and Jigen to keep her settled and calm.  Not that he wouldn't take advantage of that later.  These two were 'do not touch unless in the middle of a job' according to their boss's orders.  But they could be used against Jigen and Lupin he was sure.

He danced with the sexy little woman, moaning when she got close enough to rub against him.  That was enough to have him shivering and begging in the bathroom but he would hold on this time.  If they were lucky they could follow them home when they went and find out their main lair.   He knew it was somewhere in the country by Zenigata's relative's home.  It had to be, he had been up to meet them when he had found them headed this way.  The road she had come off of had about seven possibilities.  If he had to he'd search each and every single one.  She caught his gaze and smirked, it was like she could read his mind.  He shivered in fear and backed off but she kissed him on the cheek and his mind went blank.  Totally blank.  Then the music caught him and he was dancing again, this time with a stunning young man, who he felt he should recognize for some reason.  Maybe she was a movie star?

***

Xander pulled up outside the Louvre, looking at the building.  "Hmm.  Arsene!" she yelled.  The girl came jogging out the front door.  "What are you doing?"

"Visiting.  I'm making sure my skills keep sharp," she defended as she climbed in between them.  She looked at her cohort and swallowed hard.  "Ishi?" she asked.  He nodded, putting an arm around her shoulders.  "Oh, man.  What happened?  Did some of your sister's magic leak out and make you hot?"

"No, sweetie, that was me," Xander said dryly.  "Come on.  You might as well go clubbing with us.  Even though you look like you're needing a babysitter."

"Mom, thanks for stopping that one guy," Ishi said as they sped off.  "I had no idea he was connected."

"Even if he wasn't, following him for a...private chat in the bathroom wasn't exactly the right thing to do," she reminded him firmly.  "The fact that he was a hitter who knew who you are and wanted to take out the competition was irrelevant.  No more taking the people out to have chats, Ishi."

"Yes, mom."  He looked at Arsene.  "You didn't steal a thing?"

"You can frisk me if you want.  I was only visiting."

"Breaking and entering is still against the law," the stereo said in Zenigata's voice.  "Pull over."

Xander looked at the kids, then flipped the radio off.  "Did you hear anything?"  She took them back toward the shopping areas.  "Arsene, what are you wearing?"

"A unitard."

"Fine.  Go get a skirt and some shoes to wear with it.  We're going to a different club."  She nodded, hopping out of the car once it had stopped and inside the mall.  She looked at Ishi, then at the cops stalking the little girl and the one strolling up beside them.  "Ishi needed convinced that he's hot," she said with a smirk.  "She was just visiting.  She didn't have her backpack with her."

Zenigata's eyes narrowed, scanning the car between those two and what he could see of it.   "Fine.  Keep her out of trouble and out of my city."

"Hey, we're going clubbing then back tomorrow."  She smiled sweetly as her daughter came out in a mini-skirt that was in a contrasting color to her black unitard, and low heels.  "Good enough.   We'll go somewhere less sex driven."  Arsene hopped back in over Ishi's lap, snuggling back into his side.  "Anything else, Inspector?" she asked in her best purr kitty voice.  "We really do need to be off.  Ishi needs more admirers and I need to let loose and be free before going back to being the mommy again."  She blinked her big brown eyes at him and saw him melt.  "Thank you, Inspector."  She blew a kiss and headed off at top speed for the roadster, hoping to lose them in the maze of streets and alleys.

She took them to an underground rave she had heard of at the last place and paid their cover.  "That's my baby, she's doing her first one tonight," she called over the loud, thumping music.  "Just hit puberty."  The doorman grimaced but her 'tip' let Arsene in as well.  She walked in and paused, looking at the stage.  She grabbed the kids.  "That's an Oz," she told them, pointing at him.  "I know him."  They nodded and went to their own sides of the building while she took the middle of the floor.  This was the nightlife she loved.  When she got close to the stage she winked at Oz, then flipped back her hair to show off a scar that had stayed and that he had seen before.  He shivered and went into the next song.

***

Lupin looked up as Xander led Arsene and Ishi in, being handed his favorite credit card on their way past.  "Xander?"

She paused, then smiled at him and nodded.  "Ishi?"  He backtracked, letting Lupin see him.  "See?  I do good work. Then we went clubbing after we picked up the daughter, who was visiting in the Louvre.  Where's Goemon?"

"Out back."

"Cool.  C'mon, Ishi."  She put her arm around his and led him that way, coughing when they got closer since Goemon was meditating with Melissa.  He looked up, then sighed and stood up.  "It was necessary, big guy.  He had a few pressure injuries and a few micro cuts on one eye.  They cleaned them again and these'll do for the next six months, then he's due back.  He's got three sets, they're scratch-proofed.  I also helped him with his image."

"It was great, dad.  She took me and Arsene out last night to the club and girls panted and asked if I was a movie star or a rock star."  He beamed at his father.  "And I can still kick ass in it, she made sure of it."

"Yes, I did," she agreed dryly.  "Oh, get the stuff out of the back of the car, Ishi," she said, giving him a pat on the back.  He nodded and went to do that.  "The kimono shop sent you a new one since yours has holes.  I got him his first official one, and one you may not approve of but he picked out his own with the shopkeeper's help.  Also, interestingly enough, the shopkeeper got sent ninja gear for me and him."  Goemon nodded quickly so she smirked.  "It's all in the trunk.  I outfitted him for the next year.  He'll be fine, we've just got to make sure he goes back to the right eye doctor.  He's already adjusting well to seeing again."

"Thank you.  How bad is his eyesight?"

"Bad enough to need glasses and continual checkups.  He said he shouldn't get worse and it may heal, but he can't promise it."

"Fine.  I will start working on the sightless work as well, in case he loses his glasses in a fight.  Thank you."

"Welcome, big guy.  But you're still going to be eating your words."  She strolled off, going to find Jigen and get a kiss.  She found him in the kitchen and leaned him against the counter to make him moan.  "Mm, missed that.  The Rays were not the partner you are in the clubs."  She winked and wandered off, going to get her few items out of the new bundles and bags, taking them to her room.

Jigen wiped off the back of his neck.  She was good and horny.  He'd have to help her with that later.   He looked over as Lupin walked in, smirking at him. "Didn't get a kiss?"

"No, but I did get a call from the guy who ran the rave the kids went to last night.  He said Arsene is very good on a dance floor and successfully protected her virginity each and every time it was threatened.  Ishi as well.  They thought he was royalty slumming."

"He kinda looked like it," Jigen agreed.  "She made him look hotter than you ever were."

Lupin snorted.  "Not hardly."  He looked at Ishi as he walked back through the kitchen.  "You satisfied with that look, kid?"

"I can kick ass, I can make love, and I can look hot and smart in it.  I'm good with it now that I'm used to the glasses," he quipped with a grin.  "Why?  Do you have a problem with me being this hot?"

"Son, your ego is starting to squeak as it swells," Goemon called from the backyard.

"It's better than not having any at all," Ishi called back.  He grinned at Jigen, then at Lupin.  "I made her go easy on your card, Uncle."  He strolled out and looked at Melissa, who smirked and got out of the way, so he attacked his father, making him drop his sword so he wouldn't hurt him, but Ishi was still being sneaky and attacking in ways his father would not appreciate usually.  He managed to duck one wild swing from Arsene and kicked back at her, making her grunt and back out of the fight.  He and his father moved around for a few more minutes, then Ishi grinned at him.  "Convinced?"

"Fine, you can fight in those and your glasses will not get in the way."  Goemon backed off and bowed to him.  "Very well done, but I will get you back for that kick to my balls, son."

Ishi grinned.  "Who would expect it from a guy?"

"Fine, but I will still get you back for it," Goemon said patiently.  He looked his son over.  "I do not like your hair that long."

"Father, whine.  I like my hair.  I liked it a lot when the wizard lengthened it for me and I almost let him make it longer.  Get off the subject of my hair.  No one expects someone as pretty as I am to be able to kill them or kick their asses manually."  He bowed and headed back inside to get a snack.  It had been hours since he had eaten, nearly two of them.  It sucked being his age at the moment.  He was going to eat them out of house and home.  Jigen handed over his extra sandwich when he saw the look in his eyes.   So apparently he remembered what it was like to be a young teenage guy.  That was fine though, even though it had mayo, he didn't care.  It was food.  It was filling.  He would be eating soon.  He sat down next to him, taking a large bite.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  Jigen gave him a long look.  "Yeah, you're a teenager now.  Remember, there's more things that you'll have to watch out for now."

"You mean like the hitter that tried to have his way with me in the bathroom?"

"Yeah, that too," Jigen agreed.   "It taken care of?"

"Yeah, mom saw him and realized he wanted more than to blow my hot ass.  So she took him out and chained him to the pipes with his pants down.  She did the same to the guy who wanted to have Arsene on the floor.  He's probably not enjoying himself at the moment.  His dad was a cop.  Not that he's so much older but she was fierce in defending Arsene again."

"As she should be.  She's a good mother," Jigen pointed out.

"Hey, I'm not arguing that point," Ishi agreed with a grin between bites.   "She's very good.  She bribed the eye doctor to get me in.  She picked out my frames while I was in there after hearing I had pressure injuries and a few micro cuts.  She made sure I looked hot.  She wanted me to look better than royalty.  She told the guy outfitting me that I was to look hot, sexy, and fit in at the highest levels.  She said we're in acquisitions."

Jigen snickered.  "Definitely.  Just from other people."

"She also managed to memory charm both Ray's at the first club we went to.  They were following us around.  They caught us going into town.  She fixed it though."  He finished off the sandwich and got up to search for more food.

"Eat fruit."

"Sure, Uncle Jigen.  Arsene was visiting the Louvre. She was keeping in practice but didn't take anything."

"Huh.  Restraint.  Must be from her mother."  He watched as Ishi cut up some fruit and brought a plate over for them both, hopefully with how much was on the plate.  "She didn't let you eat breakfast?"

"No, I had breakfast, it was just two hours ago."

"Yup, you're a teenager," Jigen said dryly, smirking at him.  He took a strawberry, knowing the kid wouldn't say anything.  "What did she get?"

"For some reason she got some odd fabric and a shirt at the fabric store.  Then she got a new kimono the guy was holding for her.  She got the dress she wore last night.  Which, by the way, made her look hot.  She got nearly as many propositions as I did.  She had to latch onto one of the cops to get away from a few of them.  They seriously wanted her ass," he shared with a catty smirk.  "I was thinking a chastity belt would be necessary."

"We're not like that, kid."

"No, but it'd be the only thing that might stop them from taking her there on the floor.  I know at least one tried for a hand up her skirt.  She broke his wrist."  He ate a bite of banana.  "I nearly made it there to kill him but she got him."  He ate another bite of fruit.  "Arsene nearly went with one of them until I kicked his ass and reminded her of her age."

"Then I'm sure she'll be getting a talk," Jigen promised.  "What was she wearing?"

"A unitard and a skirt.  She's been doing that a lot at school too.  They're comfy, she can move in it, and she dresses them up with heels and skirts."

"Ah.  I'm leaving that to her father."

"Which father?" Goemon asked as he walked Melissa in.

"Lupin."

"Ah.  Arsene?"

"Yuppers," Ishi agreed with a grin for his father.  "Want a few bites before I finish stuffing myself?"

"Why is it that boys turn into bottomless pits and girls turn into cheerleaders on crack or acid?" Melissa complained.

"It's nature's way of giving girls a reason to try and mother the boys they like," Goemon told her.  "Don't try that yet."

She snorted.  "As if!"  She walked off, heading for her room.  "Lupin, did you get anything cute for me?"

"No, I only got a new skirt and a new pair of shoes," she called from her room.  "Sorry, we forgot you.  Otherwise I would have stolen something from the Louvre for you."

"Fine.  Next time, at least bring me candy."  Arsene's door opened and she tossed something at Melissa without having to look. "Thanks."  She picked up the honey treat and took it to her room to nibble after her shower.

The elder Lupin stomped up the stairs and walked into his daughter's room, looking at her outfit.  "That's underwear."

"It's not, it's workout clothes, father."

"Stand up."  She stood up, balancing easily on her small heels.  "You look like some cheap whore.  Put on some clothes."

"Father, fuck yourself," she said sweetly, smirking at him.  "I'm fully covered, even if this does show off my burgeoning assets."

He grabbed her by the ear and drug her to her closet, pulling out her robe and forcing it onto her body.  Then he picked her up and tossed her on the bed, taking the heels off her and tossing them into the closet.  "You may not come out until you're fully dressed.  No more wearing trashy shit around as clothes.  It's been remarked on."

"Really?  'Cause no one says anything to me."

"Daughter," he warned.  "I wouldn't even let Xander wear that around!  Change into real clothes before leaving this room."  He stomped off, slamming the door so hard it bounced open again.  He opened Xander's bedroom door, then headed down to her usual hiding spot to find her reading on the couch in there.  "What is she wearing!  You let her out in that!  To a Rave!  She nearly got raped!"

"One, she was already wearing the unitard, I made her put on a skirt," she said without looking up from her book, actually turning the page.  "Two, she wasn't nearly raped.  She nearly followed a guy into the bathroom of her own free will and I nearly killed the guy, even though he was only sixteen.  Three, it's not baring anything even if they're shown off very well.  Four, the more you complain the more she'll love the look."  She glanced up and then went back to her reading.  "Five, the Rave was so the kids would stay out of trouble and so Ishi and I could go clubbing.  I kept people from taking them both into the bathroom to pop their cherries.  Including the hitter that almost killed Ishi because he wanted more than blown."  She crossed her feet and curled up some.  "Your daughter is exactly like you, Lupin.  Think about how you react the next time.  She'll do what you did."

Lupin snatched the book and tossed it across the room.  "My daughter, my first born heir and near-clone, is wearing trashy shit out in public."

"Dancers wear those to work out in."

"She's not a dancer."

"No, but she does look okay in it.  She could be wearing some of Fujiko's castoffs."  Lupin shuddered at that.  "Choose.  Something that's not nearly that bad or something that's fucking horrible and slutty."

"She looks like a slut in those."

"Then make her put on a skirt over it," she said patiently.   "And make her wear an overshirt if you can.  The more you fight this, the worse it'll get.  'Cause trust me, she nearly went to the bathroom with a few guys on herself.  She thinks she's ready and you're her daddy, so you might want to have that special talk with her."

"You're the mother!"  She gave him a long look.  "Fine," he sighed, heading back up to his daughter's room.  He knocked this time before barging in.   "Daughter, we've got to have a talk about sex."

"Father, I've read the Joy of Sex.  I've surfed a lot of porn.  The quack at the school is very happy that I'm probably het, even though he thinks I'm bad for being a strong-willed woman with opinions and more future than a maternity ward.  What can you possibly add to that?"

"I'm going to teach you the good things, like ethics and waiting to at least make it special.  The bathroom at a rave isn't special."

"I was only going to figure out if I could deep throat."

Lupin let out a subvocal whimper.  His daughter had just mentioned that!  "Daughter, we've got to talk," he told her.  "First, you're too young.  Second, you're *really* too young.  Thinking about you having sex at your age, it's going to make me physically ill.  No going out with other things ... I mean people until you learn that you've got to wait for at least a few more years."  He looked in her eyes.  "And if you tell me it's too late, I'm going to kill you," he promised, vowing it to himself.  She shook her head, giving him an amused look.  "I knew this was something Xander should have done for you."

"Dad, I understand what you're saying.  I know it's not time to go all the way but I only wanted to find out some things."

"Daughter, no.  I will kill whichever boy touches you that way.  I swear to you that they will be horribly tortured if they so much as kiss you.  If they grope I'm going to slice them into little, tiny pieces with a rusty, dull blade.  I'll laugh as they beg and plead.  I'll piss on their dead bodies, then I'll find the next one and find something more horrible to do to them."

She shivered, she could see he meant it.  It was in his eyes.  She hadn't seen her dad as that scary before, but now she knew why Gramps was so scared of him.  "Sure, dad.  I won't do more than experiment with myself for a few more years.  I'd better have myself down pat before I let someone else learn me, right?" she asked with a nervous chuckle.

He kissed her on the head.  "I did not need to know that.  I do not want to know that.  I will not know that in the future, daughter."  He stood up.  "Now, put on at least a skirt over that, if not a shirt as well.  Then you may come downstairs."  He walked off, going to tell Jigen that they'd have to watch for the boys coming.  He was sure Jigen would help him, and so would Goemon.  After all, they had daughters too.

Upstairs, the kids were having a quick conference on their cells about their fathers going insane and losing it on their future dates.   This was something that they'd have to nip in the butt before they were all sent to a convent school with real nuns and chastity belts.

The person listening outside grimaced at Arsene's recital, shaking his head.  "That was heavy handed," he complained.  He looked up at the tap to his door, flinching when he saw Goemon out there.  "Hey!"

"I've had enough," he noted quietly, then he nerve pinched Ray V and took his receiver, then turned on his car and moved his foot onto the gas pedal.  He waved as the car sped off, heading over a small bank and into a tree.  "I feel better now."  He went back into the house and went to threaten his daughter as well.  It was time for them to have this talk too.

***

Later that night, Xander gathered the older kids together. "Guys, I know your fathers all turned into scary bastards earlier, so let me make it clearer and more simple.  There will be no sex with anyone until you're sixteen.  At least sixteen," she ordered calmly.  "There will be no dating until you're at least fifteen.  Ishi, I know you are dating, and I'm trusting you to respect the rules. Or else I will find out and you will be toasty by the time your fathers finish paddling your ass.  Got me here?"  He nodded quickly.  "Thank you.  If, and this is a big if, you show real maturity by the time you're fourteen we may start agreeing to group dates.  That means you take everyone in this room on a date with you and an adult chaperone."

"That means we'd get to date too?" Melissa asked.

"If you want, or you could hang out with the adult at that time.  I won't force you to go on dates if you don't want to.  As a matter of fact, that would make your fathers really happy if you didn't," she reminded them with a smirk.  "As for the threats, they meant them, guys.  Especially Lupin.  He will torture any boy, or girl, touching any of you before you're sixteen.  Then he'll find a chastity belt, ask Ethan or Dawn to stick it to you in a permanent fashion, and send you to a convent or a monastery."  She looked at them all.  "The rules are thus: no sex until sixteen, no dating until fifteen, we had better be meeting any and all sex partners and they had better be more than one night stands, there will be no sneaking off to have sex in cars, sleazy motels, better motels or hotels, alleys, bathrooms, or anything that is away from us, there will be condoms used no matter what, and there will be no sharing information with the fathers unless it's necessary.  And it had better not be.  We want to know if you're hurt from things like restraints, but those had better not be used until you're eighteen.  No kinky sex until you're eighteen actually, list that with the other rules.  Girls, you will be on birth control by then.   You will be on a sort that is long lasting, effective, and something we don't have to worry about if we're on a job when you need more.  So shot, pills if you can remember to take them, or those rod thingies that go in your arm.  Because you don't want to know what would happen if you got pregnant."

The girls all shuddered.  "Now, for all of you who need technical details, you come to me.  Do not go to your fathers or they'll throw another fit.  I can't imagine Lupin needing a drink more than earlier when Lupin said the words 'deep throat' in front of him.  We want you safe, guys, and I'll give you any information you want and need.  Especially if you're thinking about trying things that are on the kinky side.  If I don't know it, I'll find it out for you.  Just do not ask over dinner!  Trust me, not something any of you want to do.   Now, if we find out that you're having sex once you're allowed to date, you will find yourself married to that person before the day is out and you will be staying with them until the end of their lives.  If they die early on, then you'll be given to someone in a political marriage.  Trust me, there's people who would be panting at all your father's feet for one of you.  Even you, Ishi.  There's plenty of mobsters who would *love* to have you bend over and take it to get in good with your dad and Lupin.  So don't fuck up.  Got it?"  They all nodded.  "Good.  You won't like being in a political marriage and lust and love are different.  Ishi, due to the fact that you are dating, you may continue dating Amanda.  If you two break up, you're shit out of luck.  The rules apply to all of you and you had better not move beyond kissing and the occasional brush of a hand."  The boy blushed and ducked his head.  "Oooh, do not tell me it's too late."

"No!" he assured her quickly, shaking his head.  He pushed his glasses back into place.  "Nope, it's not too late yet.  She said she's not ready yet."

"Good.  Now you can't be ready until at least a day after your sixteenth."  He nodded, accepting that.  "Good.  Because I can't make your fathers change their minds to a lesser fate.  You will end up married to them.  You will end up being given to a political match after that one breaks up.  I'll try to get someone who'll treat you nice, but I can't guarantee that and we all know that."  They nodded.  "Lotus, I know there are rites that you could do to use your virginity.  If you *ever* tell your father about them, we'll be visiting him in the hospital and you in the cemetery probably.  He is not ready for the nature of the darker rites and we will be watching to make sure you don't walk that path at all.  The void thingy?  Not happening ever again, young lady.  Got me here?"  Lotus nodded, looking calm.  "Someone got word back to Lupin that she just disappeared after Jigen handed her the cigs.  He asked me and I told him what *might* have done it.  Dawn told him exactly what happened when she was brought in to check.  You're in deep shit if he tells your father."  She shuddered and Ishi put an arm around her shoulders.  "Good.  That's what I wanted to see.  Girls, we'll start working on impression management as you attain the last bit of puberty.  Lotus, unfortunately you will have to go traditional for a moment when you've finally evened out your cycles."  She shrugged.  "Cool.  I'll be going with you to get your first official adult kimono.  You'll wear it to be presented to the order that watches over you."

"That's fine, mom," she said quietly.

"Good. Arsene, I don't mind the outfits, just make them non-trashy and make them look cute. You can't wear just a unitard out in public unless you're on a job.  There's got to be a skirt, a dress like a jumper, or something over it to cover up part of you.  You may not wear them in Islamic countries without a lot more covering up.  We don't want you stoned to death."   Arsene lifted her chin as she nodded.  "Good girl.  Now, who's next on the shopping thing?"

"I think I'd like to wait until I do finish my changing, mother," Melissa said calmly.  "Are the others getting the same rules?  Because I do know Sierra has a boyfriend already."

"I'm heading there next," she said dryly.  "Sierra and Savannah are going to get a rude shock in a few moments.  They've both got boyfriends and they've been caught doing some groping.  They're going to be dead if they do it again.  Not that Sierra isn't a Lupin, it shows in her lusty nature."  She rolled her eyes.  "Do we understand the rules?  Any remaining questions?"

"Do we buy our own condoms?" Arsene asked.

"We'll buy you a case, like the big boxes that they get for porn shops.  You will always have at least one on you.  You may let some other kids have some if you need to.  I'd rather have them be safe and buy you more than to see another parent have to cry over a dead child from a bad disease.   After that case, we'll negotiate whether you buy them or we do."  The kids nodded.  "Any other questions?"

"When do we get put on the pill?" Arsene asked.

"Dear, you're not going on the pill.  You won't remember to take your pill.  You're going on the shot or on those neat rods they stick in your forearm."  She ruffled her hair.  "You need more gel, right?"  She nodded.  "Cool.  I've got some in my cabinets you can have."  She waved at them.  "Go back to your regularly scheduled stuff."  She walked out and headed for the room Sierra and Savannah were sharing, listening outside since she heard a boy's name giggled.  She groaned and sighed, walking inside, making them squeal.  "You're in deep shit if that wasn't a lie, girls."  She slammed the doors.  "There's to be no sex until you're sixteen.  No dating until you're fifteen.  Before you ask, if Ishi and Amanda break up he can't date either.  If you break those rules, then you will be marrying whoever it is, and if they die an early death you're going to be given in a political marriage.  Now, do we have to take either of you to the doctors to get checked out?"

"We haven't gone that far yet!" Sierra defended.

"Daughter, that wasn't the question."

"No, mother," they sighed in unison, looking put upon.

"This will wreck our reputations," Savannah complained.  "We're popular!"

"You're sluts.  Of course you're popular.  The boys like easy girls. And if you don't quit your easy ways, your futures are going to be mafia wives."  They shuddered.  "Got me here?"  The girls nodded, looking down.  "Good!  I'm making an appointment to take both of you to put on birth control tomorrow.  Just in case you both prove that you have no self control."  Someone knocked so she opened the door, looking at Lupin, who was smirking at her.  "I gave the rules to the others, I'm explaining them to these kids.  Who are not only dating, but groping."

"The boys will die.  Horribly."  She whispered in his ear and he nodded.  "Even better, then they can die afterwards, once we make sure there's no grandkids on the way.  It'll make it better."  He glared at them. "You're in deep shit, girls."

"But, daddy!" Sierra whined.

"Shut it, now," he warned coldly.  She shivered and curled up against her sister's side.  "Thank you.  What rules, Xander?"

"No sex until sixteen, group dating is allowed after fifteen as long as they take all the older kids and an adult.  No sex anywhere but at home, that way there's no sex in cars, sleazy motels, or anywhere that condoms might not be.  They'll have condoms and use them each and every time.  The girls will be on birth control for at least six months by then.  I'm not putting Arsene on the pill because she'll get involved in something and forget to take them.   We will be meeting all boyfriends or girlfriends and there will be no one night stands.  There will be no kinky sex until they're eighteen.  They come to *me* to get information on sex if they have questions.   Then I told them that if they broke the rules, they'd be married to whoever they broke the rules with, and when that one was broken however they'd be offered up in a political marriage, even Ishi."

Lupin nodded.  "Sounds good.  I don't want to answer questions on kinky sex."

"I did say that they could come to us if they got hurt, and that they had better not need to because they would be coming to us first."

Lupin kissed her gently.  "Fine with me.  Jigen won't mind.  Goemon will make sure Lotus will be sent to a convent."  He looked at two 'popular' kids.  "You two are in deep shit if you're already breaking those."

"We've only groped!" Savannah protested.

"And it'll stop," Xander reminded her.  "I won't have daughters who're sluts.  The boys will be horribly tortured and killed and you'll be married off."

"But, mom!" Sierra complained.

"No!" Lupin snapped.  "There will be no more. No groping, no kissing, no snogging, no shagging, nothing sexual!" he growled.  She shrank back more and he sneered.  "Do we have a *clear* understanding, daughter?  Even I waited some."

"Yes, father," she agreed quietly, staring at him.  "You'd really hurt us?"

"We might be able to keep him from killing you, or your future husband might," Xander noted.  "I can't promise that, girls.  So amend your ways before they get out of hand."  She walked Lupin out, taking him back to their bedroom.  "Bad news, Jigen.  Savannah's got a boy she's letting cop feels."  He let out a low growl and stomped out to yell at his baby girl.  She wasn't sure which daddy was going to be the worst about this, but those two needed to be scared straight.  She went to knock on Goemon's door.  "I set down the rules for sex."  He grunted.  "Responsibility, sixteen, fifteen for group dating with a chaperone and all the older kids.  We'll be putting them on birth control just in case.  It'll be something that won't take a lot of fuss to find and get for them.  They can come ask me questions if they want.  They can only have sex at the house so there's no sex in places without condoms.  We meet all the guys or girls.  They apply to Ishi as well, though he can continue to date Amanda."

"That is technically my job."

"Goemon, could you even get the word sex out around your kids?"  He blushed and shook his head.  "This way all the kids have the same rules.  No whining.  Lotus may or may not wait.  Virginity is a powerful thing in some traditions."  She shrugged.  "You'll have to ask her sponsors about that.  Also, they wrote me, they want her presented to the coven when she's gotten her cycle and they've settled down.  I figured we'd be getting her her first formal kimono at that time too.  That good with you?"

"It is," he agreed calmly.

"Cool.  The present standing is, if they break it, they're going to be married to whoever they break it with, and if they die due to fatherly torture or from the girls' own hands, then they're being given in a political marriage.  Again, even Ishi."  He nodded, looking smug at that.  "Good.  I told them to come to me so you don't have to answer questions about sex."

"That's fine," he agreed.  "Anything else?"

"No, not yet.  I told Ishi he could continue to date Amanda, but he would follow the other rules, and if they broke up he'd have to wait to date."

"That is reasonable.  Thank you."

"It was better than Lupin's 'I'll torture him horribly' speech to Arsene earlier.  This way he can torture them after they're married, then give them away."  She smirked.  "Are you ready to eat your words?"

"You are never going to be a thief like Lupin," he said with a shrug.  "It is fact."

"We'll see how you feel about that tomorrow, Goemon."  She strolled off, going to find the two older Goemon's to tell them that they were being monitors when she broke into their father's room later to steal from the light-sleeping samurai.

***

Goemon woke up with a groan, sitting up to rub his eyes.  He frowned, feeling something was off.  He looked down at himself and found his normal white loincloth was now bright pink silk with fuzzy purple polkadots.  He snorted.  He'd have a talk with the brat later.  He stood up and went to his closet to find clothes, wincing as the slightly silky, slightly scratchy fabric rubbed his cock and the crack of his ass.  "Xander," he groaned.  He shifted himself some and decided to ignored it.  He opened his closet and glared at the only thing in it.  He pulled out the purple shirt with a snatch, glaring at it.  It was purple, matching the dots on his new loincloth and it was stretchy, plus it had some sort of funny hanging part off the bottom.  He decided to leave it there, stomping down the stairs.  "Xander!"

Xander smiled from her usual seat at the far end of the dining table.  "Yes, Goemon?"  He stormed in, steam starting to come from his nose.  "You don't like your present?  I had the kids there to make sure I didn't use any magic at all."

"Bull, you used magic, you had to have!"

"No, she didn't," Lotus noted.  "Not a bit of it."  She looked at her father. "That lipstick is a good match to the fabric, mom.  Good job."

"And it's one of those permanent ones that either has to be worn off or cleaned off with special cleaning solutions.  There's stories of them lasting for up to a month."  She smiled at Goemon.  "Not only am I a great thief to be able to take off your old loincloth, which is in the wash because it was nasty, but I also redressed you, stole your sword, your clothes, and your money pouch.   If I had wanted to use magic, I would have done your hair too."  She muttered something she had gotten off Ethan and Marcus, waving a hand at him, turning his hair bright pink as well.  "Like that," she said smugly.

Upstairs, Lupin and Jigen were woken by Goemon's bellow, both of them rushing down the stairs to see what was wrong.   Lupin paused, frowning and rubbing his eyes.  "What happened to you?  Magical accident?"

"No, he told Mother that she would never be the thief you are," Ishi said dryly.  "She did all of it non magically except for his hair, which she just did."

"We watched to make sure of it," Lotus added, smiling at them.  "That is an ugly loincloth, mom."

The other two older thieves couldn't help it, they had to look after she said that.  Jigen burst out in giggles, turning away and walking off before Goemon could kill him.

Lupin looked at it, then at Xander.  "I gave you better taste than that."

"That was the point," she said sweetly, blowing him a kiss.  "I've also hidden his clothes, his sword, and his money pouch.  Do you like the lipstick?  It's that permanent one you got me."

"So I can see," he agreed dryly, shaking his head.

"I will kill you," Goemon hissed.

Xander snickered and blew a kiss, then got up and raced away, making him chase her outside, where the kids who weren't at the table were waiting with cameras.  He screamed and ran back inside.  "Hey, I left you a shirt, it'll match," she called to his retreating back.  "Anyone get one?"

"I did," Sierra offered, letting her see the picture screen.  "If I can keep my boyfriend and not grope I'll let you have it."

Arsene took it and handed it off, along with Savannah's camera.  "Your boyfriends are trash and not worth burning."  She took off her button camera and handed it over.  "However, I was using digital video so you can probably get a good few stills off it," she said smugly.  "Let's eat, guys."

"Before Ishi eats it all," Savannah complained.

"Teenage boys are like that," Jigen said from the doorway.  "Did you get a picture?"  She held up Arsene's button camera.  "Give," he said smugly, taking it inside.  He went into the office and within minutes had a few very good stills of Goemon.  He brought them out to Lupin, who started to laugh again.  "Where is our pink punk rock samurai?"

"Upstairs hiding.  Marcus changed his hair back for him, but he only has a stretchy shirt in purple to wear.  Xander, where's his clothes?"

"If he's a better thief than me, he should be able to find them," she said smugly.  "I didn't use magic when I hid them."

"What did he say?" Jigen asked.

"He said I'd never be a great thief like Lupin is."

"Ah," Lupin said wisely.  "Yet I know what you've done on your own.  You're damn good, Xander.  Very, very good.  I appreciate the hell out of having you here, even though you can't pick locks worth a damn."  She blew a kiss as she took her usual seat, taking some of the food.  "When does he get them back?"

"When he finds them."

"Are they in the house?"

She nodded.  "Inside even."

"Is that why I heard you...." Arsene started.  Xander nodded.  "Cool.  I'll help him if he hasn't found it by tomorrow."

"We should probably do a bug check today, guys," Lupin said dryly.  "Someone found Ray crashed against a tree outside the gates."

"I'll do the stuff we just brought in," Xander promised.  "I'm sorry, I should have done it before we came back."

"Not an issue.  It happens sometimes."  He smirked at her.  "Good job."

"Thanks, means a lot to me.  Speaking of, did you ever get the cleaner to take that permanent lipstick off?"

"Um, nope," he admitted, then he burst out in giggles.  "I guess it's gonna wear off!"  Even Jigen snickered at that.

"My father looks odd in lipstick," Ishi pointed out.

"Yes, but Father brought it on himself.  He should know how good Xander is," Lotus defended.  Her father walked back in, still only in the bright loincloth.  "Father, your regular loincloth will be cleaned in another thirty minutes, then it'll be dried."

"Thank you, daughter."  He sat down stiffly, glaring at Xander.  "I loathe you."

She snickered.  "Yeah, well.  You asked for it," she pointed out.  "Do you believe now that I'm a good thief, and probably one of the great ones?" she asked sweetly, giving him a long look.

"Will it get me back my clothes and my sword?"

"No.  If you're a great thief, then you should be able to find them.  They're in the house, inside somewhere.  I didn't use magic to hide them."

"Fine," he ground out.  "I will get you back for this."

She chuckled, smirking at him.  "And do what, Goemon?  Trim my hair?"  He grunted, snatching a roll to eat.  His son took it back since it had been on his plate and handed over the plate of them with a scowl.  "You, quit, apologize," Xander warned.

"Sorry, father.  My teenage stomach is making me unreasonable this morning," Ishi apologized.  "Would you like the eggs as well?"

"He's got to get clothes on to eat," Jigen reminded him.  "That is a rule for the table."

"She...!"  He took a deep breath.  "Fine, I will go find something to attire myself with," he said with deadly calm.

"Want a hint?" Xander asked, feeling a pang of guilt.

"No!"  He stomped off, heading to find something to wear.  He passed Bix, who was blushing.  "It is Xander's fault."

"I heard her upstairs last night, Goemon, but I'm not sure if that's where she hid your things."

"Thank you."  He headed for the back stairs, hoping to find the things.  Xander was sneaky, she had proven that much.  She was also going to get her ass kicked during her next sparring match.  He would not put up with such things from his students.

Marcus appeared, leaning in a doorway.  "She's not a student, Master Goemon.  Remember, you graduated her."  He pointed at the room behind him.  "Your sword's in here.  The other things may not be, but I did put a tracking charm on your sword."  He got a grunt of thanks as the older man walked past him.  He winced once his master's back was turned; that loincloth was horrible.  He opened a trunk in the corner, finding the sword and a single, formal, kimono.  "Here's some of it, master."

"Thank you, Marcus."  He sighed at the sight of the kimono.  "No others?"

"Not yet, Master."

Ishi walked in with a donut hanging from his teeth and drug his father to the smallest attic in the corner, grunting as he kicked open a trunk, showing off the new robe.  Then he pulled the donut out after taking a bite.  "Your old one had holes," he said at the shocked look.  "Even the shop's owner said so.  We got it for you.  Mother relented.  Your old one is hanging in Lupin's closet and your other non-formal one is in the nursery under one of the mattresses.  She did it without waking the baby too."  He took another bite, then grinned.  "She said she didn't mean to piss you off, but you did challenge her and piss her off."  He wandered off, heading down to eat some more.  He was still hungry.  He'd have to do a harder workout later.

Goemon put on the new robe, then headed down to breakfast.  He frowned at Xander.  "Fine, you will be great if you lose your impertinence and impatience."  He sat down and let his daughter hand him a filled plate.  "Thank you, daughter."

"You're welcome, father."  She smiled at him.  "That looks nice on you."

"The shopkeeper noticed his usual one had holes," Xander told her.

"I will still be paying you back later for this stunt, Xander."

"Sure, Goemon.  I'll kick your ass in practice too."  She gave him a sweet smile. "Or don't you think I can do that either?"

He pressed his lips together before he made her truly mad at him.

"Um, mom, are we of the 'needing midol' variety of woman today?" Arsene asked.  "If so, I'm sure we can find you some."

"No, dear, I haven't started a cycle yet.  Thank you for asking though."

"It was on my mind too," Lupin offered with a shit-eating grin.  "You sure you're okay, Xander?"

"No, but I'm only kicking my own mental ass for not checking us for bugs.  I know that they didn't follow us home."

"It happens, Xan.  They won't be coming back," Marcus assured her.  "I made sure of it earlier."  He took his usual seat.  "By the way, Janus was quite pleased with your naughtiness last night, and Ethan got to be the recipient of it."

"Eh, that's his thing.  I don't have sex for Janus' pleasure.  I have it for mine.  Speaking of, perhaps we should schedule a nap time today."  She looked at her lovers.  "Please?"

"Sure, brat," Jigen agreed with a smirk.  "Later."

"There may be a hitch with that," Marcus noted.  "I was called by those people who watch over children being home schooled.  They've apparently had a problem with some of the things the children have been taught."

"Why?" Xander demanded.

"Because you won't let us take out our headmistress," Melissa noted.  "She's the most likely suspect."

"Her or the school shrink," Arsene offered.

"You just hate him because he keeps trying to turn you into a girly-girl."

"Well, yeah!" she snorted.  "What a big, fucking shock!"

"Enough, we'll deal with it," Lupin said calmly.  "Marcus, are you leaving again?"

"Not for another month.  After all, I am listed as being in charge of their education."

"Hopefully it won't matter," Jigen noted.  "Can we head this off?"

"I've tried," Marcus promised.  "I pointed out that I was more than qualified, being a mere few months away from my History Ph. D.   They were not very impressed until I pointed out that the children had entered school a year higher than they should have at their ages due to their exceptional education.  I also pointed out that we do travel most of the year so therefore we can't really have them in a more standardized education.  They said they'd be looking over the records we've filed to make sure they've gotten at least the basics down.  Since they're in formal school now they're also looking at their records."

"Let's hope that the problems with the teachers haven't been noted," Jigen said.

"They're not in those records, just their grades."

"Thankfully," Arsene complained.  "Can't we *please* cap the Headmistress and that shrink?  Before he decides to try and reprogram me again?  He keeps saying I'm like a cult member and I only need to be fixed, but that would require me to sleep with his skanky ass."

"We'll deal with him," Lupin assured his favorite daughter.  "The headmistress....."  He looked at Jigen, then at Goemon.  Who both shrugged.  He looked at his daughter.  "Try driving her off first."

"Finally!" Melissa said, looking up and saying a silent prayer.  "Thank you!"

"You've had problems?" Jigen asked.

"She calls me a smart-ass, know-it-all who can't deal with real human beings because I'm not a slut and because I don't want to be part of some happy, cheerful group of mother- fucking imbeciles who have nothing more important in their lives than their hair.   She told me last week that the fact I got an A in science, math, and all three languages means that I'm never going to be anything but some ungodly little nerd who will never be loved, always be a virgin, and should probably be put out of my misery."

Arsene was the first to do anything in the silence that followed.  "When?" she demanded quietly.

"Last week. After grades came in."

"Then you leave her to us, 'Lis," Ishi reminded her.  "She'll be one sorry bitch."

"The language needs to be modulated," Goemon ordered.  "Though I do agree with the sentiment.  Do you need help?"

Arsene gave him an evil smirk.  "Oh, I have just the idea in mind.  Dad, I'll need you to help me make a call later."

"Of course."  He patted her on the head.  "You guys know we didn't want that level of shit, right?"  They nodded.  "Good.  We expected some hindrance, not that level of crap from the teachers and headmistress."

"She was in the year behind you, father," Sierra told him.   "I take serious insult to that crack about my friends."

"She wasn't talking about you."

"I was talking about that roving band of bitches who keep trying to pick on me," Melissa told her.

"Oh, them.  Well, yeah, that fits," she said haughtily.

"They're so toast anyway," Savannah assured her twin.  "I'm sick and tired of that group.  Just because you're smart doesn't mean you can't be fashionable and like boys."

"We'll be dealing with them, 'Lis.  Just you wait," Arsene promised.  "They've been bothering Amanda and I as well.  I slugged one of them recently.  That was a very pretty black eye."

"Girls, we wanted to know about those things," Xander pointed out.  "I was an outcast too, and I wanted to spare you that."

"It's cool, we've got it," Arsene promised.  "If not, we'll be calling for someone to go visiting."   She smirked at her.  "I needed a challenge anyway."

"Lupin, we are looking at the Assassin's Academy for next year, right?" Jigen asked.

"We are, they've already been accepted," Lupin agreed.  "We've gotten Amanda an 'in' with a local school down there, Ishi."

"Thanks, Uncle Lupin."

"I'm worried that they won't have the education that they'll need," Xander put in.  "I've looked over their school and they don't exactly have an emphasis on traditional subjects.  Plus, most of our kids are better than those down there.  The shooting instructor asked which kids had already been taught gun safety lessons.  I had Fred with me and let him clean his gun for him since it was filthy from his recent practice.  Needless to say, he nearly had a heart attack."

"So those of us who are already near marksmen will be excused from those lessons?" Ishi asked.   Lupin nodded.  "Is there anything they can teach us?"

"Your advanced martial arts, or another form.  It's a lot more about making connections than it is about traditional education."

"I still want to graduate with some sort of real education," Sierra pointed out.  "I'll need it to get into college."

"Only if you're not married off by then," Lupin reminded her.  She rolled her eyes.  "As for the graduating from college thing, you've got to bring your grades up if you want to go to school, daughter.  Colleges are competitive and your 'average' rating won't be getting you in."

"I do great in science!"

"Yeah, but that means that your other grades are crap," Jigen told her.  "You've got to do better."

"Plus, isn't there a test that you have to pass to qualify to get into the college prep classes, which means that you're allowed to take the college entrance test?" Xander asked.

"Just one for college entrance," Lupin assured her.  "Though in my day you had to have decent grades to be admitted into the test.  Right now, neither one would fit in that category."

"Then we'll just have to work harder," Sierra assured him.

"That would be a nice change," Goemon agreed.  "You two have never really liked your homework.  You must try harder to get into the fields you've expressed interest in.  The Academy takes a degree to get into now."

"I know," they sighed in unison.

"We'll try harder, Uncle Goemon," Savannah promised.  "This year has been odd, that's all this was."  She looked at her fellow wanna-be good guy.  "Study group this semester?"

"If you go back there," Lupin said dryly.  "I'm going to be doing some in-depth checking of this school later today."  He saw Xander's look.  "After nap time," he promised with a smirk for her.  "If not there, then we'll figure something out."

"That'd be fine," Jigen agreed.   "What's next, Xander?"

"Well, the girls are all going on birth control so that means a check-up.  I'm not sure if I want to do it all at once or not yet.  After that, then we'll figure out what to do next.  Speaking of, I need to call the doctor that delivered Fred and Sarah."

"After breakfast," Lupin agreed.   "Clothing wise, who's next?"

"Hmm.  I was thinking Melissa and Arsene, but that's still a while off.  I wanted to let them finish hitting puberty first.  Right now, a t-shirt is the height of fashion for them.  After they get breasts that may change."

"Sure," Lupin agreed, grinning at her.  "Just let me know what you need."

"My cards out of the safe," she said dryly.  "Unless I'm taking your daughter bra shopping on yours."

Lupin winced.  "I'll get Murami to get you a new card, Xan.  Yours was snapped in half the last I knew.  You sat on it funny."

"Fine," she sighed.  "Then I'll just have to take yours."  He groaned and she smirked.  "They're your heirs."

"Fine," he whimpered.  "Nothing too extravagant."

"No diamond encrusted bra from Viccie's Secret, got it," Arsene agreed with a cheeky smirk for her father.  "Dad, we've got to start working on my balance again.  Or else my tit's'll throw me off kilter again.  Can we do that later?"

"Sure," he agreed weakly, wincing at the very thought of his baby growing tits, especially tits like those he liked on her mother.

Jigen nudged him. "It'll be okay. She's your daughter, Lupin."

"That's what I'm afraid of," he moaned, getting up to get something for his new headache.

"What did I say?" Arsene asked, looking confused.  "I wasn't even being naughty.  Daddy!"  She got up to follow him, going to give him a hug.  He obviously needed a hug.

The others shook their heads and tried very hard to ignore the thought of their children being grown up now.  They didn't want them to grow up and date; that brought icky thoughts to their heads of all the bad adult things they could do.  They might even have sex if they grew up.

Table of Contents

The Scene from part 4

The Scene from part 4. 2

Return Trip. 2

Yard Sale. 63

All Together Now.... 91

Motherhood. 119

Familiar Strangeness. 142

I Think I Forgot To Calculate For Other Strangeness. 190

Challenges. 219

Memories, Nothing More Than Memories. 266

My Life?. 288

Meet Lupin the... Fifth?. 315

Conventions and Madness. 339

Being the Mommy. 381

To Be Yourself. 398

A Meeting of the Minds. 415

Merry Hell, To Those Who Deserve It. 458

Impression Management 481