Contents

Whoa!  Not What I Expected!

He's Back!

The Job.

Cleveland

The Mask

Choking on the New Toys

Bad Planning Makes For Imperfect Solutions

Not Yet!

Nightmares!

Games People Play

Presents.

You Called?

The Crossover Saloon.

Whoa!  Not What I Expected!

The three thieves looked at each other and sighed.  It was Lupin who said it best.  "We need a vacation, boys."  The other two nodded.  "I'm tired and worn out.  You guys both look like hell too."  He dealt a new hand of poker.  "Let's take a year off, see if we can find something that vaguely resembles fun."  They nodded, putting their cards down and going to pack.  Lupin walked up to their rooms after he was done.  "Remember, if we need to, we can always call each other.  I'll be in Fiji." Jigen smirked at him.  "I know, how typical, I'm going to look at breasts," he said drolly.  "Maybe I'll even get some.  A nice little affair should put some spring back in my step."

"Remember to be safe," Jigen teased.  "We don't want any little Lupins running around."

"Please, not that," Goemon agreed dryly, shaking his head.  "Nothing in the world would ever be safe or sacred."

"Funny," Lupin told him, grinning at him.  "You mean it is now?" Goemon gave him a look, then smirked back.  "Okay, I'm heading to Fiji.  Goemon?"

"Japan.  Back to my residence."  He patted his sword.  "It is time to think about a student."

Jigen shuddered.  "That's a scary thought.  A little Goemon?"

"The baby would grunt and scowl all day," Lupin agreed.  Goemon scowled at him.  "Sorry, couldn't resist," he teased, punching him on the arm.  "Jigen, where are you starting?"

"I got asked to do a job in the US.  I figure I'll take that, then head wherever I want to.  I'll keep in touch."

"Good.  Do that."  Lupin turned, heading down toward the car.  "Am I giving anyone a ride?"

"Please," Goemon agreed, following him.  Jigen followed to, taking his usual spot.  "A whole year?"

"In the next year, half to the world's jewelry will be switching hands," Lupin told him.  "That'll give us new targets and we'll be ready by then.  Full of energy and with the intensity to go steal things again."  He pulled out of the garage, heading for the closest airport.  "Besides, in a year Pops will be healed again and he'll be pouting if we don't come back."

"He does look miserable," Goemon agreed.

"Maybe he needs a hobby," Jigen said, leaning back to get comfortable.  "Or a girl."

"Pops and a girl?" Lupin asked, glancing at him.  "Would he know what to do with one?"  Jigen snickered.  "Seriously, I don't think he could ever find one to put up with him.  The same way we can't."

"You have one," Goemon told him.  "You simply need a tighter leash on her."  Lupin stopped the car to look back at him.  "She may even enjoy it."

"I'll tell Fujiko you said that," he said dryly, turning around to get them moving again.

Jigen looked back at him.  "We'll say nice things for you at your funeral," he noted.  Goemon gave him a look.  "Hide really hard, Goemon."

Goemon snorted.  "I'm sure she will be no problem."  He stroked his sword.  "Lupin, before we part ways, have you found anything about my other sword?"

"A small time thief took it," Lupin told him.  "I haven't heard of it going on the market yet," he admitted.  "I've got my ear to the ground and I'll be on the criminal bulletin boards all the time I'm gone.  We'll find it for you, Goemon.  I promise."

"Thank you.  I miss it."  He went back to stroking his sword.  He missed its little brother.

***

Goemon settled into his house, looking at the empty holder on the wall with a sigh.  It was still gone.  It had been gone now for a few months.  He really should be taking a more active roll in finding it but no one knew anything about the thief who had taken it from the people who had been redoing the handle for him.  So he was staring at the blank spot on his wall, hoping it would materialize if he thought about it hard enough.  It was a dishonor to have such a family relic taken from his care.  He would have to mitigate it by finding it.   His ancestors would not be happy if he died and it was not back.  He heard someone rattling his door and stood up, hand on his sword.  "Who is it," he demanded.  The door opened and a brunette woman with a large chest and a scandalous outfit walked in.  "Fujiko, do you not knock any longer?" he demanded.

"With you, no," she said, grinning at him.  She walked over, hugging him.  "What is going on?  I can't find Lupin anywhere.  Did something happen to him?"

"He is in Fiji.  We are taking a vacation," he said stiffly, disengaging her from his body.  "Sit if you must."  She sat, looking at him.  "You could call the house there."

"I don't have the new number," she reminded him.  "He told you two not to give it to me."  She flipped her hair back, getting comfortable in the hard chair.  "A vacation?  Like for real and all that?"  Goemon nodded.  "Why?"

"Boredom I suppose."

"You suppose?"  He nodded.  "Okay, why are you taking a vacation," she asked him.

"I need to find my missing sword."  She looked clueless so he pointed at the wall.  "It was a gift to my sixth ancestor.  A mate to the one I carry, a short sword."  She looked at the spot he was staring at over her head, then back at him.  "I was having it repaired and it was stolen from the people repairing it."

"It hasn't gone on the market?"  He shook his head.  "Then it's probably a collector."

"Still, I would have it back," he said firmly.

"Have you checked the auctions?"  He nodded, giving her an impatient look.  "Fine.  You're brooding, I can see that."  She stood up.  "Want to help me do something while you brood?"  He raised an eyebrow.  "I need a convenient male to be on my arm for my newest job and since Lupin's not around...."  She shrugged. "I'll split with you, sixty-forty."  He snorted.  "It's a really pretty jewel.  Said to let you see prophecies."

"Then it should be destroyed," he said firmly.

"Don't be like that," she pleaded.  "I need a guy.  They don't accept women there.  They're a bunch of masochistic pigs who think women are only good for childbirth."  She gave him a smile.  "I'll promise to be good.  I won't even pick on you."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "I will.  I'll even be nice enough to tell them I sleep on the couch because of my back.  Please, otherwise I'm going to have to find a young kid and pay him."

"Your begging needs work," he told her.

"I'd beg you like I do Lupin but my breasts don't make you brainless," she said dryly.  He snorted, shaking his head again.  "Oh, come on," she pleaded.  She stomped her foot.  "If you don't, I can't go on it and I won't have *anything* to do for *months*," she pouted.  "Or anyone to talk to since Lupin's gone.  I'll have to bother you."

"Jigen is in the United States," he told her, sounding like he was dismissing her.

She snorted.  "Yeah, because we'll be good together," she told him dryly.  "Come on, please, Goemon?"

"The way you two argue is like old fisher folk," he told her.  She glared at him.  He caved, like she knew he would.  "Fine.  Perhaps I can find news of my sword there."  He stood up, going to pack his few clothes again.

"Don't worry about clothes for it, I'll find you something," she promised.  He gave her a dirty look. "They're European snobs," she said dryly, sitting down again.  "They think the only good thing that ever came out of Japan was some cute artwork and the pseudo- Buddhism their children practice to amuse themselves."

He groaned, packing anyway. "Do you have a buyer for this stone?"

"Sure do," she said happily.  "They're the ones the assholes stole it from originally.  They put out a bounty on it of a cool million."

"Interesting.  Why did they have it?"

"For it's reported properties," she told him.  "They're big believers.  Some sort of New Age mystics or something."  He raised an eyebrow.  "You know I don't believe in that any more than you do, but they're mostly harmless.  Some guy named Rayne or something."  She shrugged.  He nodded, bringing back his bag.  "Lupin's really in Fiji?"

"Yes," he said patiently.  "As he has been for most of the week."  She grimaced. "We all needed this.  The impetus to do our best has been slowing down again."

"You've all got burn-out so you're on vacation.  I guess that makes sense," she agreed, standing up.  "Ready?"  He nodded, following her out to her rental, making sure his house was locked up and the alarm system turned on.  "Why did you get somewhere so small?"

"I like it.  It suits me," he told her.  "I have all the room I need."

"Yeah, but you could have had a garden or something," she told him.  "Wouldn't that have been nice?"

"Yes, but I can visit the park whenever I want.  It is healthy to get outside, but it is also healthy not to cut yourself off from the rest of the world."  He got in the passenger's side.  "Where are we going?"

"Germany."  She started the car and sped off, taking him before he could change his mind.  "You'll hate these guys.  Not only are they dumb and violent but they're of the pain- desiring sort.  They crave the pain so much that they have get togethers where they challenge each other to hurt the others worse.  One guy cut off another's nose tip last year," she told him.  "He stood there and let him."  He shuddered.  "We're going to a less personal meeting of the group.  They wanted people who could use the stone.  They invited Lupin, but don't know who he is.  They thought he was Jigen until I corrected them.  I said I'd fax over a picture tonight, once I could get one off him."

"Is there anything else?" he asked.  This did not sound like his idea of fun.

"I've had a copy made but there's every chance I got it wrong.  I had to go on Rayne's description and it was his teacher's.  He's only seen it once and it was a long damn time ago."  He nodded shortly.  "He said it was working then."

"Do we have anything on this Rayne person?"

"Just that he's the New Age people's version of chaos.  He supposedly sows trouble among his friends for fun and watches them figure it out.  I figure he's got to be Mr.  Popularity at Halloween, but other than that he's a fruitcake with money."

"And yet, you have not tried to sleep with him," he said dryly.  "Why is that?"

"Because he's odd, Goemon.  That and he's supposed to be gay.  The rumors have him with some little boytoy a few years back.  He's pining for his long lost love, a tough he had when he was a little shit himself."  She switched gears as they hit the highway, going faster now.  "He's also British and you know I couldn't stand living there."

"Not even if he could do what he says?"

"If he can do what he says, then I want to get as far away from him as possible," she said firmly.  "I don't even want to consider that it's real."

"We have seen some odd things in our day," he reminded her gently.

"Odd is one thing.  This guy talks to a statue of Janus like it's able to talk back."

"His personal God is his own matter.  Many people talk to their God that way."

"Yeah, but most of the sane ones don't offer their statues gold and blood."  He grunted, that was true.  "It's said that his boytoy was a virgin sacrifice to the thing.  Just his virginity, to make the statue happy."

"If he is dangerous, why are we working for him?"

"Because these guys are annoying and the money," she said firmly, going faster to get around a slower car.  "If it's real, I don't want to know.  I don't want to see him talking to his statue and I don't want him to bring it with him.  I certainly don't want to have to talk to it myself," she said drolly.  "I can't think of what I'd say to a two-headed statue."  She suddenly grinned.  "Did you know back in Ancient Greece they used to keep statues of penises on their lawns for good luck?  I stole one last week.  It was really funny to look at."

"As a house marker?"

"No, a household good luck statue," she told him.  "Just a stone penis on the front lawn."  He blushed and shook his head.  "Wonder what the pranks would have been like back then?" she teased.

He looked at her, still blushing.  "I do not," he said firmly.  "I would have been out of place back then."

"True. But it might be nice to go back, get a couple of things and bring them forward.  Boom, instant antiques in excellent restored condition."  He shook his head.  "You don't think so?"

"I know it would not be good," he said firmly.  "It could seriously endanger history."

"Not if you did your research first."

"You do not know everything that the item has been through.  It could change someone's life, which would alter history."  He looked at her.  "Which means you could have ended up a housewife."  She shuddered. "That is why you do not do such things."

"Fine, I'll quit thinking about it," she sighed, passing another slower moving car.  She saw the lights go on behind her and groaned.  "How are the warrants for you guys?" she asked.

"Bad.  Yours?"

"The same."  She sped up, taking the cop on a merry chase around the city until she finally got back to the airport after losing him in traffic.

***

Fujiko walked Goemon off the plane at the small airport and found herself surrounded by people.  Not even cops, just people.  "Yes?" she asked them.  Goemon was led to her side.  "Is this some sort of joke?"

"No, Miss Mine," one of them said.  "Our employer would like to see if you can do what you claim."  He led them to a limo, setting them in the back while everyone else got into other cars, following them.  "When we got the pictures you promised, we did some checking.  We do know what Mr. Lupin looks like."  He looked at Goemon.  "Whereas your training may be what we need instead.  It was very intelligent of her to find you instead of her boyfriend."

"We're not like that," she said firmly.  He gave her a dismissive look.  "What makes you think I can't use the stone?" she asked.

He looked at her.  "Because it has only answered a male's call in the past," he told her.  "No female has ever been able to use it.  That is why we stole it from Mr. Rayne."  He crossed his legs.  "We will let you try.  If you fail, then you do.  If you do not, we will want to speak with you further.  You can keep the woman wherever you want, including somewhere safe from us, though I assure you we do not want her."

"Gay?" Fujiko asked.

He laughed.  "Some of us.  Some of us aren't, but such experienced women as yourself do not run to the tastes of the group.  I can assure you, none of the group's members will touch you or even look at you.  It would be like you wearing a total veil."  He looked at Goemon again, tuning the woman out.

Goemon looked at him.  "What makes you think I can use this stone?  I know nothing of chaos."

The man looked surprised. "What makes you think it takes it?"

"The last owner," he said simply.

"And the six before it who claimed to be able to use it," Fujiko added for good measure.

The man looked thoughtful.  "It is quite possible.  In that case we will send you away."  He shrugged.  "No harm, no foul."

Goemon nodded.  "That seems reasonable enough."  He watched as they pulled into a stone monstrosity of a house, holding in a shudder at the gaudiness of the structure.  Had a blind man on hallucinogenics designed it?  He looked at Fujiko, who was biting her lip to keep from saying something.  He leaned closer.  "Fiji," he told her.  She swatted him, glaring at him.  He gave her a smug look.  "Perhaps you should also take a vacation?"

"Maybe," she agreed, following him inside.

The man behind her smirked at her back.  "I'm sure we could send you on one," he told them.  He let them into the room, letting them look at the stone.  "What do you see?"

"I see a red stone," Fujiko said, touching it.  It made her fingers tingle like some of Lupin's finds had, but nothing more.  She got out of Goemon's way.  "Well?"

"To me it appears pink and cloudy," he admitted.  He looked into the center of the stone and saw a two-headed statue, laughing face looking at him.  Then a second picture.  One he could not believe.  He glared at Fujiko but she wasn't wearing his clothes.  He looked down again.  "That is not possible," he told it.

The man who had escorted them gasped. "You saw something!  What was it!"

He looked at him.  "A two-headed statue, laughing face toward me, then I saw Fujiko pregnant."  He shrugged.  "Things I do not understand nor do I wish to."  The man's face fell. "What did you wish us to see?"

"The new leader of our group," he said angrily.

"Maybe you should talk to the statue," he said facetiously.  "It might do you as much good."

"Fine. It's late, let us show you to a room," he said, leading the way downstairs.  The guards were behind them again so they couldn't escape.  He put them into a larger cell, locking them in.  "You'll be staying there."

"Fine," Goemon agreed.  "It will not do you any good however."  He sat down, looking at her.  "Another brilliant plan," he told her.

She sneered at him.  "That was not my fault."

"No, it was theirs," he agreed.  He closed his eyes, clearing the vision from his head.  It was not possible.

"What did you see?" she asked, sitting next to him.

"What I told them."

"So what was bothering you about that?  Me being pregnant?"

He looked at her.  "You wearing my clothes while pregnant," he informed her.  Her mouth fell open.  "Exactly.  Therefore I will be meditating until it leaves my mind."  He closed his eyes again.

"Well, we have known each other nearly forever," she sighed, "but I doubt it."

"As do I," he said simply.  She gave him a nudge to the arm so he looked at her.  "What, woman?"

"Why does that bother you?"

"Consider it, the answer should become obvious."  He closed his eyes again, making her groan and shake her head.

She sat there, staring at their cell.   It was well constructed, even the stones were smoothly finished.  No cracks.  No chinks.  The door was solid.  The little window was closed.  She didn't have any of her lockpicks on her.  She patted herself down to make sure, bumping him.

"What are you doing, woman?"

"Checking for picks," she told him.  "I used to keep a set in a few of my bras but I don't think this was one of them."

"You wear one of those?" he said dryly.

"Yes, always."

"It never seems as such."

"Women's foundation garments are like that," she told him.  "They're meant to not be seen except at the right moment."  She found one thing, her underwire, and pulled it out to look at it.  Then she looked at the lock.  It was too big.  She tossed it in the corner, startling him.  "Sorry."  She pulled out the other one, better to spend some time in comfort.

"What was that?" he asked.

"The underwire."

"Under wire?" he asked slowly.

"The thing that makes the breasts stand up, Goemon.  Haven't you ever undressed a woman before."  He blushed and nodded, looking away from her.  "Apparently she was wearing the cheap underwear then."  He gave her a heated glare.  "Never mind.  I'll leave you alone about your lack of sexual experience if you get us out of here.  At least for a month."

"They will let us out," he said calmly.

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm the only one who's made the stone work in a while," he pointed out.

"Hmm.  Good point."  She hit him on the arm.  "You do help," she said happily.  "I didn't know he counted on you to do more than cut stuff up."  He gave her another look in the darkening gloom.  "Fine, sorry, that was out of line," she admitted.  "Forgive me?"

He pushed her away.  "Some day."  He went back to his meditating.  She was very strong willed and overpowering in large doses and close quarters.  "Do you not have your own side of this cell?"

"Yeah, but if I'm over there then I'll have to talk louder."

"Meditate.  It is calming."

"No thanks."  She shifted closer.  "You saw me pregnant?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

"I have no idea.  It is not a sight I ever wish to see," he told her.  She hit him on the arm again.  "Desist, woman."

"Or what, you'll hit me."

"The idea bears thinking about but I do not hit women," he reminded her.  "Then again, I have said often enough that you are not one."

"No you haven't.  You've said I'm not a lady," she corrected.

"That either," he agreed.

She glared at him and decided to annoy him further.  "Do you think if I thought real hard at Lupin, he'd hear?" she asked out of the blue.

"Did you imbibe on the plane," he scoffed.

"No.  He always seems to know when I'm in trouble."

"That would require him knowing where we are," he pointed out. "I doubt he has turned on his computer yet this week."

"Oh.  Good point," she said dejectedly.  "Still, we could try.  If you can use the stupid stone, then maybe he can hear you."

"I am not a telepath," he said firmly, moving away from her.  "Go sit on your side of the cell before I feel myself losing control."

"And you'll do what?  Hit me?"

"Woman," he warned. He calmed himself, realizing that the stone had thrown him off balance, that's all this was.   He moved farther away, sure it was her that was causing this.  She was being irritating on purpose, he would have to endure it until they were free.

"You know, I've never really thought about having kids," she admitted.  "Okay, not totally true, I thought about it with Lupin, once, but then I realized I'd never get the baby to quit breastfeeding.  I'd be stretched way out of shape."  She heard his groan.  "What?  A child of his would never let go of a breast, especially not a male child of his."  His groan got louder.  "It's true and you know it."

"Woman, desist," he ordered.  "I do not want to hear this."

"Fine.  Did you ever think about having any?"

"I will have to have one some day.  Until then, I have no desire to father a next generation.  Not until I am at least semi-retired and have the time to train my future son."

"What if it's a girl?"

"Then her mother will be teaching her quite enough and I will teach her what she wants to learn," he said.  "I would not expect a daughter to want to live this life."

"You're going to clone yourself?" she suggested.  He glared at her and she felt it that time.  "Sorry, Goemon, but it sounded like you wanted a son who'd willingly follow you into the life of depravation and self-control."

"It would be expected of him," he said firmly.  "I would not expect a daughter to do so."

"Fine."  She shifted closer again, shivering in the damp air.  "I'm cold.  You?"

"No, I am wearing clothes.  In the future, do the same."

"Funny.  I am wearing clothes."  She felt his look again.  "My usual."

"Your usual is very provocative, short, and non-functional.  If you wore functional clothing it would be more helpful in these times."

"What would you like to see me in?" she asked dryly.

"A full top."

She gaped.  Then she hit him on the arm.  "You're a grumpy bastard today."

"You are the one who asked for my help, not the other way around," he reminded her smugly.  She hit him again.  "Do not do that again," he said, tensing up.  She hit him again and he had to force himself not to strike her back.  He did not hit women.  It was dishonorable; no matter how little honor the woman had, she should not be struck.  She hit him again and he grabbed her, pulling her closer so he could see her eyes in the pale light.  "I said desist," he growled.  She swallowed, he heard it.  He let her go before he frightened her more. "Thank you."  She laid her head against his arm. "What are you doing now?" he asked, shocked.  She did not cuddle him usually.

"I'm tired and cold," she said softly.  She scooted closer.  "You're warm."

"I tend to wear clothes," he reminded her.

"Goemon, get off the subject of my tops before I take it off and put it on you while you're asleep."

He had to laugh at that mental image.  "I do not think it would fit me," he told her.  "Then what would you do for a shirt?"

"Maybe they'll let us out sooner," she grumbled.  He shook his head.  "Why not?"

"If they are this serious about their prophecy things, then they would only value virginal females, like the seers back in history," he told her.  "None of them were married."

"Oh, shit," she hissed, sitting up.  "Tell me you're kidding?"  She heard him move, assuming he was shaking his head.  "Then I've really done it this time.  Lupin!" she called.

"He is still in Fiji," Goemon reminded her. He reached over, patting her on the back.  "I doubt they will sacrifice you yet," he assured her.  She glared at him, he could see her eyes glinting in the dark.  "Perhaps you will listen to your instincts instead of your greed from now on?"

She nodded, relaxing again.  "Fine.  I'm sorry.  If we die, I'll be your sake bearer for eternity."

"My ancestors would laugh at you for saying that and then they would yell at me for letting that sword get out of my possession."

"Let it go," she said firmly.  "You'll get it back eventually."

He groaned. "You do not understand."

"I do, and you'll still get it back eventually.  I know you will. If I have to, I'll help as payment for this mess, but you'll get it back."

"Thank you for being so kind," he said softly.  She still didn't understand however.  She couldn't.  She had no family that was watching her.

***

Four months passed before they heard from anyone or saw anyone but their captors. Then they heard a cranky British voice.

"What makes you think I have time for this?  The universe has seriously unbalanced and I'm trying to fix it," the voice said angrily.  "You are taking me from my work!"

Fujiko sat up, tugging at the t-shirt her captors had given her during her first week there.  "That's Rayne," she said, making Goemon look up from the contemplation of his heels.  "I've heard him speak, we talked on the phone."  The door opened and she stood up, looking at the man.  "I tried."

"Of course you did," he said dryly.  "Up, both of you."  He walked away, taking them with him back to the stone's room.  They had been up there a few different times.  "What did you see?" he asked them.

"A red stone," she said, looking at it.  "It's purplish now."

"It would be to most women," he agreed briskly.  "That means your cycle should be close at hand.  And you?"

Goemon looked at him.  "A statue the first and most times.  Sometimes it is laughing, most recently it has not been."

He sighed.  "That's what I thought."  He looked at their captors.  "You are taking me away from a direct order from Janus," he told them.  They looked stunned.  "One of the light's best warriors was just sacrificed and it is unbalancing everything.  You're taking me away from fixing it.  Why are you bothering me now?"

"Because we need to see who will be our next leader," one of the old men in the robes around the edges of the wall told him.  "The harlot and the samurai do not see that information."

"I am not!" she said angrily. "I have never charged a day in my life."

"Fine, the slut then," he said, glaring at her.  "Women should be fixed so their lips do not move unless their husbands wish them to."  He looked at Rayne again.  "Please, you are our only hope this time."

Rayne sighed and looked into the stone, seeing the statue frowning at him.  "Can't you just give one of those two the information?" he pleaded.  "This is taking me from my task."  The statue showed him a picture and he smiled.  "Fine, thank you, Lord Janus.  Blessed be your name and all that.  I'm going back to work."  It showed him another picture and he gasped.  "Yes, she could," he agreed.  "Blessed be."  He bowed to it and turned around. "Janus has relented and has given her the sight of him.  It won't be until after her cycle goes again.  When she's most fertile, then she'll see."  He tipped his head and strode out.

The men all looked at Fujiko.  "When would that be?" one asked her.

"I'm on a shot.  I missed my last one because of you, so probably not for at least another month, if not longer.  I've went without for over a year."  They groaned, leaving them with a single guard.  She walked around, looking at the stone which now looked purple to her.  "What are you?' she asked it.  Her vision blanked for a minute, then she found herself in Goemon's arms.  "Damn."

He lifted her up again, helping her to stand.  "What happened?"

She looked at him.  "The stone only gives you things to think about," she told him. "It is a possibility."  The guard went running.  She looked into his eyes.  "It was playing with you."

"Obviously.  I would never marry you," he told her.  She looked stunned.  "That would be the only way I would consent to having a child and you are not who I would pick."  She nodded, accepting that and they both stared into the stone again.  This time, he saw himself watching her rub her stomach, calling her name.  "Infernal stupidity," he grumbled, moving closer to the door.  More of the men walked in, one of them with his sword, which he snatched.  He walked back to her side, holding it tightly in his hand.  This time, the statue showed him it's laughing face and a small ceremony.  "Stupid thing."  He stepped back but she was staring.  "What do you see?" he asked.

"Right now, mist," she admitted.  "The paths are not visible."

"Paths?" one of the men asked.

She looked at him and sneered.  "Janus sees many paths and many beginnings.  This can only show you possibilities.  Take a vote and let us go."  They shook their head and she grabbed the stone, weathering the low current electricity going through it.  "You will or I'll throw it up and let him slice it open."  Goemon opened his sword.  The men looked horrified.  "Now."

"If she does, we can use other methods," one of the younger men noted.  "Auguries have worked in the past."

"We would need someone totally pure," one of the older ones told him harshly.

Fujiko laughed.  "In this day and age?  You'd almost have to pick up a child and raise it past maturity, making sure it never saw the outside world or felt a sexual thought.  Even then you still might not find one that would work."

"Doing so would harm them more," Goemon agreed.  "Leaving them open to mental coercion and psychic conflict within themselves about what the real world was like."

"There are ways," one of the oldest men announced.  "Special preparations that will rob someone of their memories and experiences.  We could test it out.  Make sure that the renewal parts would work."  He looked at Fujiko, who swallowed.  "You will be ready when?"

"He said when I have my next cycle.  I cannot hurry that," she reminded him.  "The hormone shot regulated that for three months at a time.  I'm two months past due for it and it could be up to nine before it comes back."

He nodded.  "We cannot wait that long," he decided, looking at his brethren.  "One more month," he announced and everyone nodded, then they were led back to their cell.

The guard locking them in sneered at her.  "Enjoy it while it lasts," he told her.  "They can fix you and let him go."

Goemon looked at him.  "Over your dead body."  The guard laughed and locked them in.

Fujiko looked at Goemon.  "Let me guess, next you're going to say something about mushrooms growing on one in the dark?"

He shrugged.  "I was not, but I could if you wish.  Instead, I was going to get us out of here.  Shall I?"  She nodded eagerly and he pulled his sword.  He took a deep breath and swung at the wall, cutting through it to find another wall on the other side.  That was also breached and the third was exposed.  He looked stunned.  "What are they doing?"

She walked over, kicking at it.  "It's there," she said, limping back.  "Try it again.  How many walls can this place have?"  He cut again, noticing the movement as the wall shifted.  He growled. "What?" she asked.

"The wall moves," he said bitterly.

"How big is the wall?"

He looked at her, frowning.  "Are you suggesting I keep cutting?"  She nodded.  "Why?"

"Because eventually, they'll either run out of wall or we'll cut near enough to another cut to make it fall out."  He looked impressed and did it again, earning some crumbling.  "See?"

He nodded and did it again, opening up something metal.  A few cops walked in, surrounding them.  He looked at her.  "Instinct?" he asked.

"Isn't the best yet either," she noted, putting her hands up as Inspector Zenigata walked in with a bright smile.  "You don't want us, you want Lupin," she reminded him.

"I want you all," he said cruelly.  "You're all crooks.  Crooks who steal from other crooks are still crooks."  He pulled out handcuffs, putting them on them.  "It's fortunate, you saved us having to get a warrant."  He had his men lead them out to the truck Goemon had cut into, taking the sword personally.  He sat in the back with them, looking at Fujiko.  "You look more like a real woman," he snorted.  "Did you run out of your usual shirts?"

She shrieked and tried to get him but Goemon held her back.  "I'm going to kill him!  Let me go!"

"Being violent will only make things worse," he pointed out. "Keep your calm and everything will be fine."  The Inspector laughed and he glared at him, making him flinch.  "Relax, like you had me teach you."  She nodded, forcing herself to relax.  He looked at the Inspector.  "You will not win this time either," he noted.

"Why not?"

"Because they will come for her.  They want her."

"I hear many rich men feel that way," the Inspector said dryly.  "I can't see why."  She glared at him and he smirked.  "Oh, what's wrong?  Not looking forward to a German women's facility?"

"I spent the last four months in that cell with him," Fujiko said, nodding at Goemon.  "I'll have some of the women there eating out of my hand quickly."  He looked stunned and she smiled.  "What?  You thought I was Lupin's girl too?"  She laughed.  "Not hardly."

"That does seem to be a common misconception," Goemon pointed out.  "I once thought the same until you acted against us."

She grinned and shrugged. "Business and pleasure, Goemon.  That was business.  Kicking Pop's ass will be pleasure."  He smiled at her and they attacked together, understanding each other very well now.  Goemon got his sword and they were free and out of the truck within minutes.   They ran toward the nearest sign of civilization, knowing they could get away once they found other humans.  Even if they had to steal a car and drive most of the way across Europe before finding a flight back to Japan.  Or to Fiji.

***

Lupin looked up as his computer beeped, smiling at the message header.  He laughed, shaking his head.  "It's good that he's okay."  He read the entire message, sitting up. "Four months in a cell with Fujiko?  And he's still sane?" he said dryly.  "Jigen and I would have killed her by then."  He shook his head.  "Poor guy.  He's probably got Stockholm Syndrome or something."  He sent a reply to that effect, and to warn him about Fujiko being needy sometimes.  He saw her the most often when she was needy.  It was the only time he got to cuddle and hold her.

He went back to watching the women on the beach romp and play, smirking at their bouncing attributes.  It was a pleasing sight, one that was well worth the slacking he was doing.

***

Fujiko followed Goemon into his house, flopping down onto his couch to look at him. "Thank you for letting me stay tonight," she said tiredly.  "I'd probably miss the sound of your snoring."

"I do not snore," he said firmly, heading back to his bathroom to clean himself up.  He was tired and sweaty, he needed a shower.  When he was done, he found her waiting on him with some soup and let her have his place inside the comforting embrace of the water while he ate.  He smirked at the sigh of relief, heading out to find new clothes.  His others needed cleaned. He found some not often worn Gis in his closet and put one on, going back to his living room to watch the world go past.  He considered it.  He had gotten used to her now.  Four months in that tiny cell and they had learned to get along well enough.  She still irked him and tested his control, but he knew what that was now.  He had figured it out.  He finished his soup and put his mug aside, calming himself.

She came out in a towel, giving him a pitiful look.  "Do you have anything I can wear until I can buy clothes?"

"Look in my closet," he offered generously.  Perhaps Lupin had been right and he was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, or something similar where you identified with your fellow inmate.  At the moment it was comforting.  She came out in one of his other Gis and he looked her over.  It was tied correctly.  He looked at her face and she shrugged.  "You took lessons?"

"A few," she admitted, sitting across from him.  "It helped my balance at that awkward stage."  She worked a towel in her hair, making it less wet and drippy.  "I'm so glad we're out of there," she sighed.

"As am I," he agreed. It was nice to have room to walk around without bumping into her or their lone toilet.  That had been embarrassing for the first week.  After a while, he had learned to tune her out.  As he was doing now, as proven by the pillow that hit him on the head.  "Yes?" he asked.

"I said we're damn lucky Pops showed up then."  He nodded.  "Who do you think tipped him off?"

"Probably Rayne.  He sounded like he thought he was busy."  She blew a wet strand of hair out of her eyes and nodded.  "You are much different than I imagined," he admitted finally.

"Yeah, well, you never had the chance to study me before," she told him dryly.  "I'm guessing four months in a cell will do that to you.  Either that or turn you homicidal."  She saw his look over her shoulder and glanced at the open spot.  "What?"

"I missed the year anniversary of that one being gone," he told her.  "I will have to mourn for it tomorrow."  She gave him a look.  "I know you cannot understand, but it is the way I am.  The way I will always be."

"I think it's cute," she admitted, "but you're right, I don't understand it.  You know you'll get it back."

He nodded.  "Yes, but it is precious to my family so therefore I will have to mourn it."

She looked at him.  "Which hideout do you consider home?" she asked suddenly.

He considered it.  "I consider my sensei's house home, it was where I spent most of my formative years.  After that here, then France."

She nodded.  "I realized a few months back I don't consider any place home."  He gave her a sad look.  "I haven't for a while."  He nodded.  "That incarceration was bad for us," she sighed.  "We both thought funny things."

"I got rid of most of mine after the first month," he told her.  "What had you thought?"  She gave him a look.  "Seriously.  You did share yourself with me many times.  You can tell me this now."

She shrugged.  "It played off your vision thing."  He gave her a look.  "Okay, I had a few funny dreams, all right?  I pictured us married."  She shifted uncomfortably.  "You were complimenting me and driving me insane by being polite all the time."

He laughed.  "I am not always polite," he promised.  She gave him a look.  "I try, it is a general nicety.  I do not always succeed.  I am still human.  That time in the cell taught me that much."  She nodded, looking down at her hands.  "You may continue to talk to me, I would not mind it," he offered.  She gave him a look.  "What was that for?"

"Goemon, I don't want to become attached to you," she admitted.  "I like you, big guy.  You're a great guy, but if this keeps up, I'm going to start becoming really attached to you and my professional life is going to end."

"You could always work with us instead of against us," he pointed out gently.

She sighed.  "That's not the point.  I'm going to become *attached* to you soon."

"I like you as well," he noted.

She stood up, walking around the small table between them, and kissed him hard.  "That sort of attached," she told him.  His eyes widened as he got the point.  "I don't think you want that."  He pulled her closer, kissing her again.  "What are you doing?" she asked, pulling back to look at him.

He shrugged.  "I do not know.  I am following my instincts this time."

"They want me?"

"They do.  They have not led me to any other women, but they do want you."  He kissed her again, making her moan.  He pulled back, shaking his head.  "I should be asking to take you out, not molesting you."  He put her beside him, letting her snuggle into his side if she wanted.  She was still giving him a look he couldn't identify.  "I do not know," he said, answering the unasked question.  "Falling for someone is not my area of experience."

"Falling? As in..."  She swallowed.  "Love?  Goemon?"  He looked at her and shrugged.  "You are?"  He nodded.  "Since when?"

"I do not know," he told her again.  He patted her on the head.  "I will take you to breakfast tomorrow," he said, getting up and heading to his bedroom.  "You can have either the couch or the spare futon," he said, closing his door before she could react.

She collapsed onto the couch, burying her face where he had been sitting.  "Why me, God?" she whispered.  "If this is a joke, I'm going to find you and start stealing from you."  She looked up, finding him standing there, and squeaked.  "What?"  He kissed her again then went back to his room.  She melted.  It was the sweetest thing.  She shook herself.  "I sound like a schoolgirl," she chastised.  She headed into the guest room, hoping to get some sleep soon.  Hopefully without dreams like she had been having for the last week.

***

Fujiko looked over as they came out of the airport in Fiji, leading Goemon to the rental counter.  She got their car, heading out to find it.  This airport wasn't very well organized.  He found it first, heading right to it, and she grimaced at him.  "Thanks."  She popped the trunk, letting him put his bag in first.  Then she got in to drive.  She got out and shut the trunk again, finding the latch fast.  Then she got back in and started the car again, pulling out of the parking lot.  "Do you remember the way to the house?  I haven't been here in years."

"I do," he admitted, pointing at the right road to take.  "Go that way."  She did so.  "Fujiko, are you sure you want to see Lupin?"  It had been two weeks since they had started to date.  He was worried, Lupin was her ex by all standards.  He was a big problem in Goemon's mind.

"I'm sure."  She pointed at a side road.  "Was that one it?"  He shook his head, pointing at the correct one.  She took it, heading down into the lush forest.  They ran into some mud on the way and he got out to push, letting her gun the engine some more.  By the time he got back in, he was sweaty and nasty.  "I'll stop at the beach on the way so you can rinse off," she promised, continuing on.  It was a good hour spent in comfortable silence.  They had learned to do that their second week in the cell. She had run out of things to talk about and hadn't wanted to get personal with him.  As soon as possible, she let him out on a beach, watching as he went down to the water to get clean.  As soon as he was back she took off again, hoping Lupin could help her figure out her own mind.  What was she doing?  When they pulled in, she found herself shy for some reason as he came out to meet them. "Hi."  She gave him a hug.

"Hi."  He hugged her, smiling at Goemon, mouthing 'We'll talk later,' to him.  Goemon nodded so he let her go.  "You look like you didn't take too much harm from your time in that cell."  He led them inside, getting them something to drink.  Fujiko was bouncing nervously and Goemon was paler than usual.  A fortifying drink would help them both.  He knew why they were there, it was obvious.  Goemon wanted to make sure he wasn't really involved with Fujiko and she was comparing emotions.  He brought back the tray of wine glasses, handing them over before sitting down and sipping his.  "How was Pops when you saw him?"

"Fussy," Goemon told him.  "We broke his hips when we lunged at him."

"I'm sure he's roundly cussing you two out then," he said dryly, smiling at them.  "Fujiko, why don't you go unpack and go sit in the sun?" he suggested, giving her a look.  She nodded, heading to do that.  He looked at Goemon.  "I've been thinking," he admitted, startling the other man.  "She's not mine," he said gently.  "I've come to see how many times she's refused me."

"You act like the man we had hoped you would finally become," Goemon told him, finishing his wine.  "Thank you, Lupin."

"You're welcome, buddy.  If you make her happy, I'm all for it.  If you hurt her, it's on between us, but we're fine because you're a nice guy."  Goemon nodded.  "When are you going to ask her?"

"Tonight," he admitted. "It will not bother you?"

"It'll take some time to get used to it, but not really," he said, lying a little but not totally.  "Of course, we'll have to find Jigen and his apprentice."  Goemon looked startled.  "That's right, you didn't get to hear.  Jigen got into trouble in LA.  His target captured him by some odd fluke of luck and some interference by some guy in a trench coat with dark hair and really pale skin.  He got a little injured and then this kid walked in off the street and saved him without knowing who he was," Lupin told him.  Goemon's mouth fell open.  "It turns out the kid's a natural and he was running from some people trying to kill him.  Jigen said he'd explain it more after we met the guy.  Calls himself Lavelle.  He's damn good from what Jigen was saying."

Goemon looked impressed. "I am happy for him.  He needed someone to understand him."  Fujiko came out in a bathing suit and he smiled at her for it's modesty.  Her breasts were nearly covered, he was incredibly pleased.   "Going to the beach?"

"Yeah, I could use some sun," she told him. "Come with me, guys?"

"Sure, Fuji, give us a second.  We were just talking about Jigen's student."

"He got a what?" she asked, stunned.  "Where?  Was he lecturing at one of the specialists schools?"

"No, the kid walked in off the street and helped him.  He said someone was trying to kill the kid so they helped each other out of LA.  Jigen said the boy's a natural and that we'll meet him soon."

"That's incredible.  There's two Jigens in the world."  She grimaced.  "That's got to be a traveling laugh riot."

"We'll find out soon," Lupin told her.  "Let me change.  Goemon?"

He stood up and looked at her, then produced a ring out of his pocket, handing it to her.  "If you wouldn't mind," he said timidly.  Her mouth fell open and she whimpered.  "Or not," he admitted, blushing.  He was going to walk away if she didn't say anything soon.  He started to move and she grabbed him, kissing him hard.  "Then you agree?"

"I agree," she told him, nodding.  "I mean, yes.  Hell yes!"  She looked up at him and smiled.

"Where are we holding the wedding, so I can call Jigen?" an amused Lupin asked.

They pulled themselves away from each other to look at him, then shrugged.

He chuckled.  "Fine.  Let's hold it in Paris?"  They shrugged again and nodded.  "That's fine, I'll write Jigen. He's somewhere in Europe.  I think he's in Stockholm.  He was saying something about someone testing his student by busting in on him with a hooker and the kid nearly killing him."  He shrugged and left them alone, going to write him a message.  Fujiko followed him, locking them into the office like he knew she would.  "Fuji, if you hurt him, I'm going to have to make him a widow," he said seriously, looking at her to make sure she understood he was serious.  "Do not play with him."

She shook her head.  "I'm not.  I have no idea what is going on."

He grinned.  "It was the captivity.  It made you take a long look at each other and you found things that you liked in each other.  I know he'll treat you right, do the same or else.  Jigen said his apprentice is very ruthless sometimes and I'll let him have you."  She shuddered and nodded.  "Good. When?"

"Soon," she said.  "Before I chicken out."

"Fine.  Next week," he agreed, typing that into the message.   "You two can have this house if you want."  She looked stunned.   "Or we could do Greece."  She nodded, smiling at him.  "That's fine, I'll send them to Greece to wait on us.  Go play," he ordered with a smile.  "Take him with you.  He needs some sun."  She nodded, unlocking the door and leaving.  He put his head down with a groan.  "I will get through this.  She's not right for me," he told himself.  "She wasn't my girl and she likes him more than me.  I will deal with this."

"I do not want to hurt you," Goemon said from the doorway.

Lupin raised his head.  "You're not, I'm reminding myself that she never really was mine." They shared an understanding look.  "Go play in the water with her.  She wants Greece.  That good for you?"  He nodded, smiling a little.  "Good, go play.  Let me arrange everything."  Goemon nodded, leaving him alone.  He finished his email message and sent it, then sat back.  Jigen had a pager that let him know when he had a new message.  Within an hour he had his reply.  Jigen would be there and the kid would be in Paris playing around while they were off commiserating with Goemon.  He smiled and typed in a message, telling the man that he wanted to meet his apprentice for a few minutes at least, sending it so he could get dressed and play with the new couple in the sand.  He was happy for Fujiko if she was happy.

***

Lupin looked up as Goemon walked in, scowling at a paper in his hand. "What's wrong?"

"This," he said, handing it over.  "We have to have verification that we are residents."

"We could pick another spot," he offered.

"She has her heart set on it," Goemon told him, sitting down stiffly. "Can we have someone make that information for us?"

"This will take some time," Lupin told him.  "We'll have to put you into some sort of database."  The samurai sighed.  "I'll work on it.  Write Jigen and tell him so he doesn't worry about meeting us for a while."  He nodded, getting up to do that.  He could send an email.  "I've found a small something about your sword."  The other man went still, he could tell.  He looked back at him, smirking.  "I told you I would."

"You know who has it?"

"Not exactly.  I do know that the female who took it had it appraised and she's kept it in a respectful manner.  I do know she's in LA.  I forwarded the little information I've found to Jigen but he hasn't heard of her and none of his contacts there know anything."  Goemon nodded a little.  "She's an up and coming thief.  She's hit the Met a few times and a museum in Philly.  She seems to like the Met the most so far."

"This gives us a modus operandi," Goemon agreed.  "It is a start."  He forced himself to relax. "She is honoring it?"

"As far as the appraiser said, she kept it wrapped in silk inside the scabbard.  He looked at it and told her it wasn't worth much outside of being an antique so she couldn't sell it.  She's a brunette going by the last name Summers.  She has a taste for gems, for antique and 'special' weapons, and for some minor artworks that she picks on her personal taste instead of worth.  She's passed over a Renoir to get something less well known that she apparently liked because it was an ugly painting."   Goemon nodded.  "That's all I've found out so far.  Send that message to Jigen.  He knows all I know about her so far in case he runs into her. He's been in and out of the US a few times."

"His apprentice?"

"Is very good," Lupin told him.  "I did some checking on him.  I can't find any background on him, but the bulletin boards are lighting up about him.  Jigen's student is a well known and well wanted thing.  When he's done training he should be able to get nearly any job he wants."  Goemon looked impressed, sitting down at the desk to peck out the short message to Jigen. "Tell him I said hi and he could come visit.  I miss the guy."

"Perhaps he will take a vacation from his student for a small vacation with us," Goemon offered, adding that to his message.  It had been long enough, the boy should be able to survive for at least a few weeks.  Lupin smirked at him.  He smirked back, he had missed Jigen as well.  He wanted to see his face when he insulted him about Fujiko.

***

Jigen got out of his jeep, looking over as Goemon joined him in the driveway.  "Are you sure we can't get you a shrink?" he asked, giving him a punch on the arm.  "I know torture is bad, but still.  Her?"

Goemon nodded.  "I came to know her as a person instead of an annoyance.  I desire her."

"Goemon, she's dangerous," Jigen pointed out.

"Not to me.  I can deal with that myself."

"If you're sure," Jigen sighed, closing his door.  "We've got to get you up to speed on how to deal with a woman full time if you're going to go through with this."  He followed him inside, slapping Lupin on the back of the head.  "I'm back for two months.  Lavelle's off staring at a few of his old friends.  I'm going to meet him in LA in two months so he can rescue whatever's left of his stuff."

"Fine," Lupin agreed, smiling at him.  "Having fun?"

Jigen stopped pouring himself a drink to look at him.  "Yeah, I am," he admitted.  "The kid is odd, but he's good."

"Will he be your equal?" Goemon asked.

Jigen nodded.  "Hopefully.  He's a bit damaged emotionally.  Has this thing about not leaving witnesses so far."  He took a sip of his drink.  "He didn't even flinch at his first kill with me."  He flopped down in a chair, looking at his friends.  "Where is the little woman?"

"Getting ready for dinner," Lupin shared.  "You're in time, I cooked."

"Good.  I'm starved.  We really need our own plane, Lupin.  Commercial sucks ass."  He finished his drink, putting the glass down.  "Goemon, I've looked for that thief for you.  I can't find much on her.  All I know is that there's something off about her.  People who know anything say she's drawn to the odd and supposedly mystical for a reason.  No one will say why though."  Goemon shuddered. "That's another thing, the guy who had the stone that Fujiko was going after, my Lavelle knows him.  I heard him talking to him the other night.  He joined us for a chat, then disappeared into the night."  Goemon looked confused.  "I have no clue.  All I know is that Ethan Rayne is one of Lavelle's few friends and contacts.  The world is getting smaller."  He grinned as Fujiko came out, dressed for dinner.  "Morning, Little Woman."  She glared at him.  "You will be."

"I'm going to be working and I can still kick your ass," she reminded him.  She made a show of looking around.  "Your student run off already?"

"No, he's staring at someone to see if he can get his stuff back.  He can handle himself for a few months without me."  He looked at Lupin.  "Pop's recognized his existence.  He sent out a memo on us.  It was accidentally forwarded to us," he smirked.  Lupin laughed.  "What's for food?  I'm starved."

"You mean you haven't gotten the boy trained to cook for you? Shame on you," Lupin teased.

Jigen snorted.  "He can't cook.  I've taught him a few things, but nothing very delicate or hard to make.  The kid can live on fast food and do more than subsist."  He stood up.  "Let's eat."

"Fine," Lupin agreed, going to take dinner out of the oven, bringing it to the table.  He saluted them with his wine glass.  "To us.  Back together again."

"For now," Jigen reminded him.  "Lavelle's not ready yet."  Everyone looked at him.  "He's got a passionate streak," he explained.  "The kid goes through multiple hookers at a time, each time.  He's a goofy kid with a past I don't know about yet.  He refuses to tell me why his friends want him dead.  All I know was he was injured very badly when he found me."  Lupin raised an eyebrow, giving him a serious look.  "Very badly," he repeated quietly.  "As in the dealer gave us demerol for free after looking at him."  Lupin gave him a satisfied nod.  "I'm waiting to introduce you until I know more."  He dished himself some food, looking at Goemon, who was giving him a concerned look.  "He won't hurt me.  He likes me.  He told me last week that I had to come back because, and I quote, I'm the only neat, cool, and hip person he knows."  Lupin chuckled at that and Fujiko was giving him a look now. "What?"

"How old is this kid?"

"Mid-twenties," Jigen told her.  "I don't have an exact age. I'd say around twenty-five by his speech patterns.  His silver hair throws you off age-wise."

"Silver hair?" Lupin asked.  Jigen nodded.  He got up and went into his study, printing a  picture he had downloaded to study last month, bringing it out.  Jigen nodded.  "He's your student?"

"He is," Jigen agreed dryly.  "Why?"

"The online criminals put out a 'who is he' last month."

"After Stockholm?" Jigen asked dryly.  Lupin considered, then nodded.  Jigen took the picture to look at, then frowned.  "It's a bad picture.  Their telephoto is weak."  He handed it on.  "Go ahead and tell them who it is."

"Is that his natural hair color?" Fujiko asked, looking at the picture.

"Yeah.  When I first got him, his hair was only inches long.  Someone cut it to treat the bruised scalp."  Lupin dropped his fork.  "He's better now, just some after-pain.   A hooker got sick after looking at his back.  He found a healer who knew Fihad for the both of us.  I don't think she got all of his healed but he hasn't complained, isn't taking anything, and has an incredible pain tolerance.  Unless he jams his finger," he admitted with a small smirk.

"Interesting," Goemon said, taking the photo to look at.   "He looks very stiff.  Where was this taken?"

"The morning after him with the hooker.  He was agitated.  That was pre-caffeine."  Lupin snickered.  "He came to me with that addiction.  I've never seen anyone take to it.  His first kill not even a flinch."

"It may not have been his first," Goemon offered, handing the picture back to Lupin.

"I asked, he said that was his first human kill.  His words."  He ate another bite.  "We're going back to LA soon, then we'll be heading for a Russian job, then there's a job from one of the New York families that they wanted contracted out.  He sucks as a thief, but he's got the diversion part down pat.  He's got nearly no upper body strength outside of his arms.  Said he used to do carpentry."

"That's handy," Lupin agreed.  "Anything else that's interesting about the kid?"

"Yeah, he's *mute* about his past.  He showed me his friends when we were passing through before.  The ones who hurt him.  The one who got me captured was one of them.  Xander wasn't with them at the time, that's all he would say about it."

"If he had that bad of injuries, that could have been during his torture," Fujiko offered.  "Is he native?"

"Local to LA.  That's all he said about where he's from."

"Very interesting," Lupin agreed.  "Secrecy can build a reputation, but it'll drive some people insane with the desire to know.  It's a good strategy when you're starting out and you don't have history in the syndicates."  He ate some of his own dinner.  "Where is he thinking of posting after you?"

Jigen shrugged.  "I don't know.  I'm teaching him long-distance now.   He's going to be a well-rounded gunman, but that's what he is.  He's also got a comic book habit."

"Then he's really just a kid," Lupin agreed.  "Huh.  Congrats."

"Thanks, boss," Jigen said, giving him a fond smirk.  "You'll meet him as soon as I know he's stable.  Going back through LA has not been good for the kid.  He fought long and hard to blow up an old hotel.  His friends live there."  Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "Not lying, man.  He wanted to blow them up."

"Maybe they tortured him," Goemon offered.

"Maybe," Jigen agreed.  "When is the wedding anyway?"

"We need to get them set into a database to prove they're local," Lupin told him.  "If we were in Athens, the city has a way around that but the town where the hideout is doesn't."  He ate another bite. "I've got someone setting it up but it could be a few more months.  They're getting ready to do a software update later this summer."

Jigen nodded.  "That's fine.  I'll dump the kid somewhere safe so he can play while we throw the bachelor party."  Goemon opened his mouth.  "It's a time honored tradition."

"No strippers," Goemon said firmly.  Jigen and Lupin nodded.  "Then that is fine. All of the attendant traditions should be observed."

Fujiko snorted.  "Strippers are part of that."

"I do not need strippers," Goemon said patiently.  "They do not interest me, neither do those films."

"Don't worry, we'll do that after we make you pass out," Lupin said with a grin.

"Either that or we'll get you really drunk and dress you up and take you out," Jigen told him.  Goemon looked at him so he smirked.  "You don't think you'd make a pretty girl for a night?"

"No, I do not.  If you try, I would have to take your student to train after your horrible mutilation."  Jigen laughed.  "Who's kidding?"

Jigen laughed harder.  "You should see the look on your face, Goemon."

"We missed you too," Lupin agreed.  "Anyone have any problems with continuing the vacation?"  No one said anything.  "Then we'll keep it going until Pops is out of the hospital."  He looked at Jigen.  "I want to see your apprentice in person soon."

"We're doing the US/Western Europe circuit.  Come over anytime.  Lavelle doesn't always make for great company.  Every once in a while he broods worse than Goemon.  I've actually seen days where he didn't speak."

"As he continues to heal from his torture, that will get smoother," Goemon told him.  He heard something beep and looked at Jigen, who looked at his pager before getting up and heading into the office.

Jigen came out a minute later.  "The kid's not exactly in trouble but he was just approached.  Not tried, just someone wanting to talk to him.  LA's Don wanted to know why he was in town."

"What reason did he give him?"

"He was trying to decide if he should blow up his former friends.  The Don said they were keeping the odd trouble down so he couldn't blow them up.  He's headed to 'Frisco.  He also saw Pops.  He's hobbling around there tracing rumors of me."  He sat down again.  "He's fine, just going insane by himself."

"He'll get used to it," Lupin told him.

"I think the kid was too used to it, he's clingy," Jigen told him.  Lupin gave him a look.  "Really.  The kid started to drink so he wouldn't be sober long enough to think.  For a rookie, he's got one hell of a tolerance."

"Alcoholics in his family history," Fujiko noted.  Jigen nodded.  "They weren't in the life at all?"

"Nope.  He said his father was menial labor and his mother a housewife."  He smirked. "Just like you'll be soon."  She glared at him and his smirk got meaner. "Just think, this means you'll have to bear the fourteenth for him."

"Someday," she agreed.  "Not anytime soon.  We agreed I'm going to continue working."

"Yeah, but you won't be able to screw us over anymore," Jigen agreed. "Lupin won't be staring at your tits."  She scowled and he chuckled.  "Hadn't thought about that?"

"If we have to, we can add her to the group," Lupin said, he could see Goemon was getting uncomfortable.  He kicked Jigen under the table and frowned at him. "Not tonight, dear, I've got a headache."

Jigen grimaced.  "I've heard that recently."

"From your student?" Fujiko asked.

"Well, yeah, I have actually, but I'm not like that."  He shook his head.  "Never mind."

"Who was she?" Lupin teased.  "Was she pretty?"

"Very, and still an evil bitch."  He ate some dinner.  "Lavelle gave her a look and she scurried off.  She even sent me back the things she had taken off me."  They laughed.  "Seriously.  He *scares* some people.  I don't know how, he's a nice guy, but he can do it."  His pager went off again, making him sigh.  "And he's still insecure."  He got up to check his mail again, finding the message that made him laugh.  He came back shaking his head.  "He decided to go to Mardi Gras."

"It's January," Lupin pointed out.

"Yes, but apparently there's some pre-parties going on and he's going to enjoy those.  I'll go pick him up after it's done, drag him to the airport with his hangover."  They all laughed, remember when he had done that to Lupin so they could escape.

"He should go to Brazil," Lupin told him.

"Next year," Jigen agreed.  "Let's get him some more experience first."  They all chuckled, that boy was making life interesting again.

***

Goemon walked up to where Jigen was staring at the sea.  "I am happy with her," he said quietly.

Jigen looked at him.  "Was that a statement or a question?"

"A statement," he said firmly.  He looked out at the sea.  "You could take a real vacation with us."

"He needs me, Goemon.  I understand the kid.  He's good, you'd like him."  He turned to face him, getting the samurai's attention.  "I think he used to be one of Pop's.  Not a cop," he said quickly, "but definitely one of the good guys.  His friends fucked him over badly."

"That happens sometimes," Goemon reminded him.  "They are not immune to the infighting, neither are we."  He reached over to pat him on the shoulder.  "You are doing fine.  Consider it training for having children."

Jigen shuddered.  "Eww."  The samurai chuckled, shaking his head.  "Seriously, not in my lifeplan, man."

"If you say so."  He looked out at the sea again.  "We will be happy together.  She has settled down admirably."

"I noticed her bitchiness had been abraded down.  Good job."  He gave him a nudge with his shoulder.  "How's Lupin taking it?" he asked quietly.

"He's doing well.  He has convinced himself that she was never really his."  He shrugged.  "He has not said anything."

"He won't."

"I haven't noticed either.  Perhaps you should ask him that yourself?"

"I'm fine with it," Lupin said from the doorway, coming out to join them.  Jigen gave him a look.  "Honestly, I'm okay.  Every once in a while I have to stop and think, and I don't even *want* to think about you two and sex, but if you're happy and she's happy then I'm not going to be upset about that."  He gave him a small smirk.  "Of course, I will be a godfather to all the children she'll have from you."  Goemon blushed.

"Start soon and keep her that way," Jigen recommended.  "It'll keep her out of trouble."

"She would kill me if I did that," Goemon pointed out.  "Maybe within five years."  He looked toward his room, seeing the open window, then nodded that way.  Both men chuckled and shook their heads.  "It is pretty here."

"It is," Lupin agreed. "I've always liked this house better than Greece."  He patted Jigen on the back. "You're next, you know that right?"

"Yeah," he snorted.  "With my history with women?"  He shook his head.  "Not happenin'."  He looked back at the sea again.  "Lavelle is much different than he looks, guys.  He's got this frosty shell that's hard to get through, but once you do he's loyal to a fault."

"Who did he jump in front of?" Lupin asked.  He had heard this story on the bulletin boards online, but he wanted to hear Jigen's version of it.

"Tommy Toyota came to try his luck with me.  I was relatively drunk.  So was Lavelle.  Kid can drink like a fucking fish when he's brooding."  He shook his head.  "Tommy came up, put his hand on my shoulder and I sneered at him.  So Lavelle, nice guy that he is," he admitted with a smirk, "stood up and pushed the seven-footer away from me, bitching him out like you would not believe.  Said some strange things in a language I didn't understand, but the guy blanched so he knew what he was saying.   The guy ran for his fucking life."

"I thought him American," Goemon said, looking confused.  They had run into the extra- large human on one job a few years back. He was a decent enough native guide, as long as you were specific in your desires.

"Me too," Lupin agreed.  "I heard he kicked him in the nuts."

"Not that I remember," Jigen told him.  "I've seen him do it before.  For a guy, he's real fond of wrecking other guys."

"Is he straight?" Lupin asked.  Jigen shook his head.

"Does that not cause problems?" Goemon asked.

"The kid's got a bad crush on me, but he takes 'no' reasonably well.  He wears it out with the whores.  He drags ass coming in," he said with a small chuckle.  "That is almost all of what he spends his allowance on."

"You put him on an allowance?" Lupin asked.

Jigen nodded.  "I set him up with Murami to hold the rest for him.  He only wanted a little bit each month and he spends it well.  Three-quarters goes for his sex and the rest goes to his liquor and dry cleaning.  He's even offered to share traveling expenses out of his cut."  Lupin looked impressed. "Like I said, he's a great and nice guy."

"But?" Lupin asked, knowing there was one.

"He'll need a real special boss.  He's still got some ethics.  Won't hit kids.  Won't do women unless they're criminals.  Will do it if they're firing on us.  Has in the past," he admitted.  "If Dolune was still in charge of Europe's Dark Syndicate, I'd hand him over in a heartbeat, but I don't like the new guy."

"He's got time," Lupin reminded him.  "The new Don may not.  He's not well liked."  He shrugged.  "Or there's the one in London."

"Xander said he's not going to Britain until he's ready to go cap someone over there.  Some sort of vendetta."  He shrugged.  "He isn't saying anything so I'm assuming he's part of that shit that got him hurt."

"Does he carry pictures of his friends?" Goemon asked.

"Very few of them.  Some brunette woman.  A picture of him when he was younger and still had dark hair with two other women and some guy.  A picture of a woman he introduced me to in LA.  He capped her damn quick when she appeared, killing her somewhat."

"Somewhat?" Lupin asked.

Jigen looked at him.  "That's the other thing.  He deals in the odd shit.  He killed her, and I *saw* her come out of her body and thank him for it.  Then she disappeared in a flash of light."  Lupin groaned and shook his head. "I told him I didn't want to know.  He went to our next job before me."

"In other words, he likes to run," Goemon noted.  Jigen nodded.

"It sounds like you're his security and parental figure," Lupin told him.  "Be gentle with the kid."

"Oh, I am," Jigen admitted.  "He sulks bad if you threaten him."  He chuckled.  "Then he tries to do something to make you feel better and like him again.  He exercised his meager thieving skills to get me this," he said, showing off his bracelet, "the last time I got onto him about something.  It was laying on my pillow the next morning and he was cooking breakfast.  Hadn't slept either."

Lupin looked at it, smiling.  "It's a good gift," he agreed.  "Solid silver."

"He seems to prefer silver," Jigen agreed.  He let Goemon see it.  "He's a little kid at heart, Lupin, but whoever ends up with him will have something special in him.  If you make him someone's bodyguard, he will not leave their side and he will argue with them about not letting him do his job.  Make him an assistant and he'll do anything for you without much real grumbling."  He grunted, shifting position so his ankle quit hurting.  "The kid could use some more tempering.  I find him a new weapon to learn and he *bounces*.  That first night, when he was out of it and I was injured, he was carrying a miniature crossbow and the automatic he stole off the guy who was going to cap me.  He loaded it like a pro.  He checked the clip and the slot.  I unloaded it just in case and he got it back together efficiently.  Hell, the kid suggested we hit a military base to steal some of their shit once."

Lupin sighed, stretching a little.  "He sounds good, but pretty green.  Give him a few years to find the right spot once he's out of your care.  We'll help him find someone."

"Perhaps the head in Tokyo," Goemon suggested.  "He is willing to take non-Japanese members if they are special.  He also likes people who are strange and distinctive."  He looked at Jigen.  "He used to have dark hair?" Jigen nodded.  "What changed it?"

"He said radiation.  I didn't ask more than that because he was brooding at the time," Jigen noted.  "I don't know if he was sick or what.  I know he's silver everywhere but his pubes.  He has trouble walking around without anything on, but there's always blurry spots on his body, like they're covered even though he's not wearing anything."

"An illusion," Lupin told him.  "We've met someone who could do that."  Jigen grunted, remembering that.  "Any other special skills?"

"Yeah, the kid makes toxic coffee," Jigen shared, cracking them up.  "I mean it.  We were hanging at a bar one night and he took a turn behind the bar when the bartender ran out.   His coffee was toxic.  Ate the plastic cups toxic.  Literally."  Lupin giggled, shaking his head.  "Seriously.  Never make the boy make you coffee.  I was afraid after that.  He said it would sober up drunks; I have no doubt it would.  It'd eat the alcohol with their stomachs."

"We should send him to Pops," Lupin laughed.  "Make him his assistant for a few days, have him make him coffee."

"I'm not that cruel," Jigen told him, smiling.  "Poor Pops would never survive a few days with a hyper Lavelle."

"He will settle down as he grows up," Goemon said.

"He's in his mid-twenties, Goemon, he's already fully grown.  He's as tall as I am.  He's six- two and about a hundred-eighty in muscles.   He's almost got no fat on him now.   He's taken to the life like it was made for him."

Lupin smirked.  "We get to meet him when?" he teased.  "Sounds like you'd have a honey if you ever unbent."

"I don't like men, Lupin.  Otherwise I wouldn't have slugged you a few years back when you got desperate."  Lupin snickered.  "Seriously.  If I ever did, he'd kill me in bed.  He's the only man I've ever met who whores say he's too tiring."  They looked at him, mouths open.  "Really.  He's had one say, in my hearing, that she couldn't take him on, she had too much work to do.  He offered her more money and she gave him a kiss and a blow instead, making him happy enough for ten minutes.  She seriously knew his reputation as someone who wears them out."

Lupin shook his head.  "Damn, and I thought I was bad," he said with a grin.

"You are bad," Jigen and Goemon said in unison.  All three laughed, leaning against each other.

***

Jigen woke up to someone shaking his shoulder, grunting and swatting at them.  "Let me sleep, Lavelle, or I'm gonna cap you in the head next time," he mumbled.

"I would were I him," Goemon said.  Jigen opened an eye, looking at him.  "I wished to talk to someone more neutral."  He sat on the foot of his bed.  "I know it is late."

"S'okay," he said, forcing himself to sit up.  "What's wrong?"

"I have doubts," he admitted.  Jigen gave him a nod and a look.  "How would I fare settling down?"

"Like you do now, only with a wife to think of," Jigen told him.  "It's like living with another person only you don't get to kick their ass when they piss you off."

"The only people I have lived with were other students and my sensei," he pointed out.  "I had no siblings and I cannot treat her like I did my mother.  She would get rather upset."

Jigen nodded, not able to imagine Fujiko's attitude getting worse if Goemon started to defer to her.  "Think of it like our group," he suggested.  "You have to learn to get along or it falls apart.  You set out roles and try to stick to them, but you get to fill in sometimes."  Goemon nodded, getting more comfortable.   "Show her how you like things done then expect to get frustrated because she hasn't lived in a real house outside of the hideouts in years."

"She's told me as much.  She said she's missed having a home," Goemon shared.

"Then make sure she knows where home now is," Jigen said firmly.  "Let her go running back to it if you're not there, or let her go work if you are.  Shit, Lupin and I fought like cats when we first met up.  You should remember that."

"I do," Goemon agreed, considering it.  "So it is a partnership, only a legal one?"  Jigen nodded.  "I believe I could do that.  What about..."  He glanced around and leaned closer.  "Domestic things?"

Jigen snorted.  "Do you think she'll actually cook and clean, Goemon?"  He shook his head.  "Try it once though, I want to see her face."  The samurai laughed, looking down.  "It'll be fine.  You'll have to learn how to make her scream in pleasure whenever she's pissed at you.  It'll keep you sane when she's on a rip."  He shifted his feet, laying sideways on the bed.  "Are you going to stay at the house for a while?"

"Maybe.  I think she has a few jobs in mind.  I have no idea if I am involved."

"Remember, there is community property between married people," Jigen pointed out.  "If she steals a million, at least half it of is yours."

"We have talked about this.  We agreed to set aside half of our cuts into a joint account and the rest will be hidden away from the other," he said quietly.

Jigen looked impressed.  "Good thinking.  That way she can't find it and take it."  Goemon nodded. "Are you two doing a prenuptial?"

"I had thought of it but I do not believe in divorce," Goemon told him.

"Does she know that?"  He nodded, looking very serious.  "Then she must really like you, man.  Feel lucky."

"I do, but I have doubts," he sighed.  "She is a very worldly woman."

"She's a woman, Goemon.  Worldly or not, they're still women.  They all act the same most of the time.  They have wants, needs, and desires. From what I can see, filling the needs and desires makes them the happiest.  Have sex with her, make sure you can stand her that way before you get married.  With your inexperience, she might have to teach you for a while."  His friend blushed.  "Hey, she likes that stuff.  You're going to have to get used to satisfying that need too.  She'll probably want it a lot more than you do."

"How do I approach that subject?" he asked, still blushing.

"Walk up to her and kiss her hard," Jigen snorted.  "Make it clear what you want.  Either that or go down the hall, knock on her door and blush, then step inside and let her take control," he suggested, knowing Goemon wouldn't be able to walk up to her and kiss her with the way he was blushing.  "Have you two even kissed yet?"

"I have kissed her.  She has very soft lips," he admitted.  "She always looks quite shocked."

"That's a good thing," Jigen promised.  Goemon smiled at him. "Go down the hall, tap on her door and go inside when she opens the door.  Stammer at her and blush some more.  Let her show you what she wants.  Don't let her do anything for herself that first time.  Women get mushy about their first times with new lovers."  Goemon nodded.  "Take a condom," he said, grabbing one out of his drawer.  Lupin had them stashed all over the house, including in all of the bedrooms.  Just in case he wanted to use them.  Not that would be using Jigen's bed - or he had better not use his bed.  Goemon looked at the package.  "Need a quick lesson?"

"No, I've seen them used before," he admitted, blushing brighter.  "Are you sure I should do it tonight?"

"Hell, yes," Jigen told him.  "Better now than finding out on the honeymoon that you're not compatible.  That way, she can rest tomorrow while we go do guy stuff."   His friend nodded, padding out.  He heard him knock on Fujiko's room and her answer.  Then he heard the 'eep'.  Apparently Fujiko had been listening in and taken control.  He chuckled, listening in case Goemon called for someone to save him from her.  It was educational, who knew she was a screamer.

***

Lupin walked up to where Jigen was sitting on the beach, flopping next to him.  "You had to encourage that last night?" he asked bitterly.  "They woke me up."

"He was worried," Jigen said with a little shrug, glancing at him and smirking behind his book.  "What better way to ease it?"

"They woke me up," Lupin pointed out again.

"Yeah, I've never heard her be that vocal before."  He put aside his book at the depressed sigh.  "She held back from you, boss.  You and I both know she wasn't meant for you."

"Yeah, but we understood each other, or so I thought."

"No, like my student, you only got to see so much of who she really was.  That's the one thing that irks me about the kid. He's honest as hell if you ask, but he's got layers.  I've made it halfway down the onion, but with Fujiko you only got a few layers. The fact that she was so loose with him means he's gotten further down her onion."

"Think she faked it?" Lupin asked.

"Not with the way she was screaming," Jigen admitted.  "Women who fake it don't get that loud."  He stopped talking when she came out onto the porch, nudging Lupin to look.  "Women who fake it don't limp the next morning."

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "Maybe I should give up sex for a while.  Then I could do that to women too."

"Then you'd never get laid," Jigen told him.

"I could always talk you into bed," he teased.  "That way both of us would be happy."

"Man, what makes you think you've got something I haven't seen and I haven't wanted it yet.  Besides, then I'm with the eternal hard-body boy right now.  Everything looks good on the guy.  His t-shirts are tight, his dress shirts are fitted.  His jeans cling to his ass and he gets picked up all the time.  And I still don't like guys so until you grow tits and a clit, you're shit out of luck."

"Maybe me and your student should hook up," Lupin teased.

Jigen groaned.  "Don't.  He reminds me of you on a rip.  He might kill you in bed."

"Maybe, but he's cute," Lupin noted, handing over Jigen's wallet.  Jigen gave him a dirty look.  "Sorry, I wanted to see a real picture of him.  The Alamo?"

"Where better to work on his shooting skills than Texas?" Jigen taunted.   "He and the rednecks got along so well it was scary.  Put him into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and he fit in with them *real* well.  He even listened to country music.  Went to a redneck dance club and everything."

Lupin snorted.  "I'm sure you had fun with that."

"I did, and then he drug me to the only real gay bar in Texas.  Or so the sign proclaimed when you walked in.  Out in the middle of fricken' nowhere, man, and he was kickin' up a storm with them.  He was line dancing with some scary bitches."

Lupin chuckled.  "Let me guess, Texas queers are stronger than the New York ones?"

"Texas queers were scary individuals.  They were like Wyoming ranchers."  Lupin laughed again.  "And their drag queens were tougher than any I've ever met.  The one he was teasing was like that football player we had to work with in upper New York that time."

"So much for sissy men," Lupin snickered.

"True.  Then we went up to New York for a few days and he slid into the lifestyle up there smoothly.  Less manners, but comfortable in most settings.  He's not big on people he doesn't know and he's still pretty unsure in formal settings, but the club honeys adored his tight ass.  I let him be the diversion while I did business to get him to Europe.  Our contact wanted to know if Lavelle would sleep with him for the fee."

"Did you tell him to ask the kid?"

"I did, and Xander gave him this look, then licked his lips, and Michael nearly drooled himself to death.  He and Xander disappeared and then Xander came back alone with his new passport and everything.  Not rumpled, nothing.  He went and played with some of the women, hitting a few of them in the bathroom before we left.  Then he went and collapsed on the bed."

"Xander?"

"First name."

"Oh."  Lupin looked at him. "Then where did he get Lavelle?"

Jigen smirked.  "It's his middle name.  He's used it in the past. He won't say where."

"Street?"

"He's too clean for that," Jigen told him.  "He's a pure little boy.  No drugs, no real booze before we met.  A like for sex that's unimaginable, but nothing else.  I'd say a polite club kid but he's never done drugs."

"Interesting.  What's with his thing about left targets?  It was mentioned."

"I don't know.  I think he's got eye dominance.  He does more than good enough even with that minor quirk.  I'd love to see him become someone's assistant and bodyguard," he sighed and shifted deeper into the sand.  He glanced back at Fujiko and found Goemon being solicitous, nudging Lupin to look.

Lupin looked up there.  "They fit," he decided.  "He's sweet to her and she needed it."  He shrugged.  "She's his."

"Good.  Are you gonna be able to live in the same house with them bein' like that?"

"Yeah, but I'll be doing a lot of reading in my study," Lupin said with a sad smile.  "Hurry up with the kid.  I'll need someone to talk to again."

"He won't leave the group," Jigen promised.  "He'll do what he's doing now, going and coming back.  He might even be around more so she has somewhere to go that's safe."  Lupin looked stunned. "It's not like he's going to let her go out and flirt like she used to.  We'll have to stop counting on her and her tits of doom."

Lupin nodded.  "True, he won't let her.  Did you notice?  Her cleavage has been covered for the most part."

"She's got it bad," Jigen sighed.  He looked up at the sun.  "Let's hope we never get locked in a cell for four months."  Lupin swatted him.  "What?  I don't want to give you gushy looks."  He scowled at him. "It'd fuck with my head."

"Hopefully not," Lupin told him, smirking at him.  "If we do, remember, I'm on top."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what you say now," Jigen teased.  Lupin hit him on the arm again.  He hit him back.  Lupin pounced him to fight with him, playing the whole time.  "You're gonna bend my book, Lupin."

"Keep it up and I'll take your student from you and make him my willing love slave."

"Eww, he'd drool on you."

"Children," Goemon yelled. "Quit before you scare the tourists."  The guys grinned at him and he rolled his eyes.

Fujiko patted him on the chest.  "Don't worry, they're playing."

"I know, but it is in public.  They can wrestle on the living room floor if they want to do such things.  Who knows who could be watching."

Fujiko smirked at him.  "Like Pops?  I doubt he'd do more than cheer them on.  He'd probably think they were splitting the group and it was a real fight."  Lupin and Jigen came up the stairs from the beach, so she smirked at them. "Why don't you two hook up finally and end that playing around?"

"Because I like real tits," Jigen told her.  "He couldn't pass as a woman even if he had a set."  He sat down, putting his feet up on the railing.

"It's the same problem he has with his student," Lupin shared, sitting down in his usual seat.  "How did everyone sleep last night?"  Goemon blushed dark red and groaned.   "I thought you were working out, I kept hearing something squeal.  I think we've got a few loose floor boards in the living room."

Fujiko hit him.  "Quit picking on Goemon."

"Finally found a man who does all those things the rest of them wouldn't?" Jigen teased.

"I never had anything like that," Lupin told him.  "I'm very open to trying new things."

"We know, boss, you tell us that all the time.  Keep it up and I will tell Lavelle to pounce your ass.  Let's see you work when you can't walk for two days."

"Two days?  Is he built that big?" Fujiko teased.  Goemon groaned and hid his face.  "Sorry, I'm just picking on him."

"Please pick a different topic, woman," Goemon ordered.

"Woman?  Are you going to keep calling me that?  I think you need work on your endearments."

"You are a woman," Goemon pointed out, looking confused.  She got up and went inside.  He looked at the other men.  "What did I do?"

"Oral sex," Lupin and Jigen said in unison.

"That cures most minor things," Jigen promised.

"Do the Pavlov thing and reward her for taking it from you," Lupin agreed.  "Either that or find her a really pretty present."  Goemon nodded, still bright red.  "What's wrong?  The longer you wait, the worse it'll be."

"How would one do that?" he asked, fully embarrassed now.

"You go down on them, lick them a lot, sucking and nibble at appropriate points," Jigen told him.  "We'll find you a book, man."  Goemon nodded, going in to try and soothe Fujiko.  He sighed.  "He's in for it," he said quietly.

Lupin shook his head, leaning back to get comfortable. "She'll teach him that quickly enough.  Fuji always liked to be licked."

"I didn't need to know that," Jigen said dryly.

"Don't do that for your women?"

"Hardly ever.  It doesn't do a thing for me," he said smoothly.  Lupin broke out in cackles.  "That's for apologies."

"Sorry, but I know how much women like foreplay.  It seems to get them ready to do anything you can think up."

Fujiko's scream echoed around them.

They clapped, both of them laughing hard.  Apparently Goemon had learned his lesson already.

***

Jigen walked into the hotel in New Orleans two weeks after the end of Mardi Gras, looking around the ancient inn.  "Lavelle?" he asked the clerk.

"You're his mentor.  He's up in the bar," the old man said, grinning at him.  "He's one hell'a boy.  Fun too.  Made Mardi Gras lots of fun."  He pointed at the bar.  "Look for the center of attention, it's your boy."

Jigen nodded, heading that way.  The place was still decorated and they were playing some sort of strip drinking game.  Xander had a ton of beads around his neck.  "The party was over weeks ago," he said dryly in greeting.

Lavelle grinned at him. "Only if you're Catholic."  The other partiers laughed and another round was served.  "Pull up a chair, Jigen. Meet my new buddies.  This is Mac, Mel, and Merlin.  They're triplets," he said with a leer for the three college-aged blond boys.  All of them were geeky looking.  "That's Tasha, she's a girl," he said, grinning at her.  "Then this here is Old Tom," he said, patting the older man beside him.  "He's a good hunter and finder of parties."  He slammed his next round and belched, making everyone sigh.  "Oh, come on," he pleaded.  "It's not like I'm drunk."

"Lavelle, you've had ten shots," Tasha complained. "We'll all be naked soon and I can't handle sleeping with the triplets and Tom."

He leered at her.  "So I'll take Mac and Mel, you get the other two," he said, leering at the triplets again.  Two of them whimpered and slammed their own shots, then one of them passed out and they all took off something.

Jigen shook his head.  "Lavelle," he sighed.

"Yeah, boss?" he asked with a grin.  "Wanna join in?  We've been going now for nearly two days.  We're down to just us.  Sixteen people yesterday and only eight came back today.  We started out Ash Wednesday with over a hundred."

Jigen groaned.  "No, I think I'll pass.  Did you do anything besides drink and get laid?"

"Oh, yeah, up in our room," he said, digging his key out of his pants pocket and handing it over.  "Go look in the extra suitcase.  I found you something pretty during the parties."

Jigen nodded, standing up again.  "Come upstairs before you pass out or I'm leaving you here."  Lavelle nodded, grinning at him.  "Fine.  You have your fun.  Don't get hurt and don't hurt anyone else."  He headed up to the room, looking at the small brass key.  He opened the door, noticing the musty smell of the old wood.  He walked over, opening the window to let some fresh air in, then looked at the three suitcases on the beds.  His, Lavelle's, and a new one.  He sat down, opening the new one, and his eyes bugged out.  Inside were some very pretty pieces of jewelry.  Most of it wasn't even costume stuff.  At the bottom was a bundle of beads.  He winced as he opened Lavelle's suitcase, finding a matching set.  "Only women get those," he muttered, deciding he didn't want to know.   What Lavelle had done to get all those beads was none of his business as long as it didn't hurt business.  When Lavelle came bouncing in later, really drunk, he looked at him.  "How'd you do it?"

"Drunk people partying," he said with fond remembrance.   "They were very sweet, thought I deserved it for being such a good sport."  He sat down, pulling something out from under his bed. "I meant this one," he admitted, handing over the gym bag.  "That's my half."  He took his back, letting Jigen open his present.

Jigen opened it and blinked, then looked at Xander again, pulling up a blood red ruby.  "Whose was this?"

"Someone who thought she was Dracula's mistress," he said honestly.  "She was not very impressive.  He needs better taste in women.  I always thought the Sisters were pretty when I met them, but they're cooped up so much that they're desperate for affection.  This one was not up to his usual standard."  He shrugged.  "Besides, it was Mardi Gras and he shouldn't have been here.  I wanted to rob him the last time we met but he was being picky and made me eat bugs."  He laid down, clutching his bag to his chest.  "Nighty-night, Jigen."

"Good night, Lavelle.  We'll leave tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure.  I don't get hangovers."  He closed his eyes, smiling as he fell asleep.

"Dracula?" Jigen mouthed, looking at the ruby.  It was very pretty.  He'd check Lavelle's count of the cut later, just in case.  Not that he doubted the kid would stiff him but Lavelle didn't have a full idea of worths yet.  He'd have to do something to weed out the costume stuff too, unless the kid really wanted to keep it.

Lupin would laugh his ass off about this when he got to meet the boy next year.

"Pack, we're going to LA next week, after the Russian job.  It'll mark our first year anniversary."

"Cool," Lavelle agreed.

He's Back!

Dawn opened the portal back to the Hyperion, glaring at the people giving them a shocked look as she led the very injured and bloody naked Xander out of Hell.  "Yes, it's us," she said bitterly.  "Fucking get me some bandages, some clean ass water, and then get me Faith. That's all I fucking want from you people."  She looked at Xander.  "It'll hurt some," she whispered, trying to keep him calm.  He shrugged and stumbled up the stairs with her help.  His now silver hair was down to his waist and covering some of the worst of the injuries.  Some of them were making her ill but she would not trust anyone else in that town to treat him.  She got him into the bathroom, running the shower until it was body temperature.  He was fevered and she realized this.  "In you get," she whispered.  He looked at her.  "Just water, not the holy water he used on you," she promised, cupping some in her palm so he could test it with a finger.  She braced him, letting him climb in himself.  She heard a door open and pulled her silver dagger, heading out to decapitate someone.  She found Gunn standing there and glared at him.  "Unless you're here to help, get the fuck out.  He doesn't need people like you."

"I was against this," he reminded her.  "I'm the one who called Faith."  He handed over the supplies box, giving her a look.  "Will he be okay?"

"He spent nine months in hell being tortured, raped, beaten, and he died twice.  He took massive doses of radiation from crossing over there that way and even more from the open portal the demon Wesley gave him to kept open so *some* people could get their kicks.  What do you think?" she asked coldly, heading in to help him.  He was standing under the water, letting the blood run off him.  She winced, some of those were horrible injuries.  She knew a healing spell, but it probably wouldn't get all of them.  "Xander, I know magic around you will make you hurt, but I learned a healing spell," she offered.

"Later," he mumbled, eyes closed.  He stiffened when he heard the door.

Dawn glared into the other room.  "Angel.  Out!"  He didn't move so she threw the dagger at him, hitting him in the shoulder.  "Out!  You of all people should understand!"

"I came to see if I could help," he said, wincing as he pulled out the dagger and put it on the dresser next to him.  "I can help him."

"By what?  Telling him he deserved it because you were stupid enough to open a portal to hell that only your blood could cure?" she asked bitterly.  "I don't care if you do think he deserves it.  I will call vengeance down on everyone who stood there and watched, including you.  Get out."  He nodded, leaving her alone.

"Anya would be mad," Xander said in a little kid's voice.  He suddenly sat down and she rushed to help him, making him look at her.  "Am I in heaven?" he asked.

She shook her head, letting the tears come.  "No, sweetheart, you're not in heaven.  You're back in LA and as soon as you're healthy enough I'm taking you somewhere away from these people."  He gave her such a trusting look.  "Let's try to get some of this stopped, okay?"  He nodded, letting her help him stand up.  "Okay," she said, grabbing the sponge.  "I'm going to do my best not to hurt you further."

He gave a bitter laugh.  "All I know is pain.  A little more won't matter."

She nodded, wetting the sponge so she could dab at the torn back.  She felt the magic going off and tried to shield him but he still screamed and flinched.  "Shh," she promised.  "That was help coming.  Faith!" she yelled. Faith and Ethan came in.  "Help me."

"Fuck me," Faith breathed, looking at him.  "Oh, Gods, Xander," she said, starting to cry.  She stripped off her jacket and shoes, getting in there with him to help.  "Shh, Faith is here and I'm gonna protect you as best I can.  No bitchy little thing is getting anywhere near you."

Ethan came in with a small beaker of steaming stuff.  "I made this.  It's a healing potion."  Xander stepped away from him.  He handed it to Dawn and reached in, touching his marks on Xander.  "I am here to help," he said plainly.  "I made you something to heal some of the wounds.  I'll be very careful to keep magic away from you while you're healing, and as soon as you're well enough you're coming back to my house with Faith and Dawn."  Xander mouthed something, making him look defeated.  "I'm Ethan, Xander.  The one who kept you from being possessed again."  The boy shook his head.  "I know, I failed to protect you this time, but I will help you heal.  If I had *any* idea, I would have stopped this," he vowed.  "Janus and the Powers are working together to help you.  They are so pissed at the people who did this to you.  Let us help."

Xander looked at Faith.  "Who're you?" he asked in that same little kid's voice.

"I'm Faith, Xander."

"I don't have that."

She hung her head for a moment then looked at him.  "You'll remember me, just remember I've changed," she instructed.  "Ethan, I'll need a lot of bandages.  Some of this is sick and oozing."  He nodded, going to get them what they needed.  "Dawn, we'll feed that to him soon.  Go strip the bed of everything but a bottom and a top sheet.  Angel can buy a new fucking mattress if he bleeds on it."  She nodded, putting down the potion to do so.  "Xander, I'm going to try and get some of the crusty shit off you.  Tell me if I hurt you."

"Pain," he said, looking at her.

She nodded.  "Tell me if I hurt you worse.  I know you're in pain."  He nodded, putting his forehead against the wall, letting her work without saying anything.  "You've got to be overloaded," she said soothingly.  "Don't worry, we're gonna help you come back to yourself and help you get even with the people who let this happen to you.  I won't let this one go.  The sick bastard needs to die horribly.  Then be brought back and done again for the next set of injuries.  And so help me Gods, if B comes in being all holy then I'm going to kick her ass.  I'm going to kick all their asses."  He whimpered and she gently stroked some bruised flesh, all he had that wasn't torn.  "Shh, I'd never hurt you.  Anyone who does I will hurt back."  He gave her a look.  "Xander, can I trim your hair for you?"  He nodded, letting her get out and grab some scissors.  She came back and slowly trimmed his hair back to about an inch high.  She tossed the hair and the scissors out onto the bathroom floor.  "There, that's got to help some," she told him, stroking over the short, soft hairs.  It was silver now, glowing in the muted light in the bathroom.  "Want me to wash what's left?"  He looked at her and nodded again, giving her a trusting look.

Dawn came back, already down to her bra and underwear.  "Let me, Faith, work on his back.  I don't want to identify some of that stuff or see it again."  She picked up the shampoo, letting him sniff it.  "I'm going to put this on your head to make it clean and smell nice, okay?"  He nodded, giving her that same trusting look.  "Good boy, Xander," she said, giving him a smile.

"Is this another time they're making me pretty for his pleasure?" he asked.

"No, sweetheart, the demon's not getting anywhere near you again," Dawn promised.  "There are no more demons around you.  Not even Angel."  Xander looked confused.  "You're back on the human realm," she told him, hoping he understood.  "You're safe.  You're away from him.  You're never going back."

"He can never hurt you again," Faith told him. He still had that confused look.  "We'll get through to him soon," she told Dawn.

Dawn nodded, biting her lip as she worked on his hair. She let it rinse, giving him a smile as he splashed at the bubbles.  "That's a good boy, Xander."  She looked at Xander's front, taking the sponge to rip in half, working on that part of him.

"Want help?" Fred asked from the doorway.  The women looked at her.  "I wasn't here, I would have stopped it.  I helped you find out how to stop him," she reminded them.  "This is bad.  This is really bad."

"That's an understatement," Dawn told her but she got out of the way, letting her see the injuries.  Fred got sick.

Xander looked at her.  "I did that for a while.  After a while, you get used to it," he told her, sounding like he was dreaming.  "The pain it there forever and eventually you get used to it."  He shook his head and moaned, making the women steady him.

"Shh, Xan, let us clean you," Faith whispered in his ear.  "We want to get that shit off you so you can get better.  You're safe now."

He looked at her.  "Do I know you?"

She nodded.  "You do.  You'll know soon."  She looked at Fred as she cleaned up after herself.  "We'll need something to help clean him up," she instructed.  "Some of this crap has been on here for months."

Fred's face lit up.  "I have something.  It's an oatmeal soap.  It's very soft and supposed to help skin heal from dryness.  Would that help?"  Dawn shrugged and nodded.  "Dawn, do you need attention too?  I'll take you if you do."

Dawn gritted her teeth.  "I'm fine for now, Fred.  Thank you."  She nodded, going to get the gentle soap for them.

"D?" Faith asked.

"I had to bargain to get him free.  I'm fine," she said firmly.  Faith gave her a look.  "After he's better.  I'm not that badly injured."  Faith nodded, taking the soap when Fred came back.  "Fred, can you get him some broth?  I want to get some fluids into him."

"I can.  We've got an electric tea kettle and some powdered bullion," she offered.

"That'd be great," Dawn agreed, giving her a small smile.  She had helped them.  She had been the one to tell them what Wesley had done and how Willow had helped to supposedly save the world.  The demon uprising was solved in another way because the sacrifice Wesley had made of Xander hadn't turned out the way he had wanted.  Faith had cured it when she had come in to find out why Fred had called sobbing in the middle of the night.  Dawn looked at Faith.  "Were you in Cleveland?" she asked.  Faith nodded.  "Was my sister?"

"Yeah, B was," Faith admitted.  "So was *she*."  Dawn nodded.  "How long do we have?"

"Maybe a week," Dawn admitted, working on a stubborn spot.  "What gets this shit off?"

"I'm not sure," Faith admitted. "I've got a few spots like that too."  She looked at Dawn.  "We may have to scrape or something."

"Fire," Xander whispered.  "He cleaned me in it once or twice when he was messy."  He looked at them, looking clueless.  "Dawn?  Faith?"  He looked at them, then down at himself, starting to get hysterical. Dawn hugged him but he shoved her.  "No!  What happened!"

"Shh," Faith whispered, holding him against her chest.  "We're getting you clean, we're not the cause."  He let out a hysterical laugh. "Shh, it's okay.  I'm here and Dawn got you free.  Ethan's made you a potion to help heal that stuff."  She reached over and helped Dawn up.  "You're safe now."

"Safety is an illusion," he laughed.  "He'll come back!"  Faith pushed him against the wall, holding him there before he could hurt them. "We're not safe, he'll be back!"

"He won't," Dawn said firmly.  "We have a deal in place," she told him, stopping him cold.  He whimpered.  "He will not come back.  If he does, I have the right of destruction and I will use it if I can, and if not, Faith will, Xander."  He pulled her closer, holding her tightly.  "Shh, babe, let us help you."  He nodded, holding her as tightly as he could.  "We've got to get you clean, Xan, let us," she prompted.

"Some of it won't come off," he told her.  "He had to use fire."

"Then it'll fall off," Faith decided.  "I'm not burning you to get gunk off your skin.  There's got to be something that'll work."  She dabbed at some of the wounds on his back, making him cry out.  "I know, Xander.  Let me work, okay?  Then we'll give you the nice healing potion and wrap you up like a mummy, then put you to bed."

"Am I going to live with Ampata or will I have my own box thingy?" he asked seriously.

"No box thingy needed," Faith said firmly, going back to her dabbing.  He flinched away from her.  "I'm sorry, Xander, let me try to clean some more of it.  I don't want to hurt you," she promised.  "Dawn, can you hold him?  These ...marks have stuff in them too."  Dawn nodded, hugging Xander to her.  After a minute he hugged her back, making Faith tear up and work harder to help him.  No one should be able to do this to a thinking being!

***

Ethan came back in the morning, holding a small vial. "It's a stronger healing potion," he told the girls, making them nod.  He walked over, looking at the mass of bandages.  "I've got enough to heal about three bad spots.  Where should I start?"

"His back," Faith said.  "It's in strips and there are places where the bones are showing and damaged," she said, turning pale.  She forced herself not to get sick.  "I gave Dawn an ounce of your healing potion," she admitted.

He looked at her, then at Dawn.  "What sort of deal did you make?"

"That if he could find my blood, he could keep what he found," she admitted.  "He got six drops."  Ethan's face hardened.  "He can't use them."

"No, he can't," he agreed.  "Are you all right?"

"Just mental," she told him.  He sighed and nodded, turning the boy over carefully.  He peeled off the bandages, looking sickened.  "We got as much as we could off.  Some of that stuff wasn't coming off even with some light nail scratching."

"Xander said the thing cleaned him with fire a few times," Faith told him.

Ethan nodded.  "He probably had to.  That is sperm."  They both ran to get sick.  He stroked Xander's short hair.  "I will avenge this wrong," he promised.  "The demon will die and so will the twat downstairs."  He dropped two drops onto his back, watching as the skin started to regrow.  Then he turned the boy back over, removing the bandages around his hips and groin, dropping another few drops onto it.  The sickening injury there was healed as well.  He looked at the boy's stomach and chest.  The removal of the bandages across his back had loosened these and he was bleeding heavily from a few.  One, over his heart, was making him ill.  He poured the rest there, watching as it was absorbed into the muscles. He checked, there was still some healing needed.  Mostly whip marks it looked like.  Small, irritating, painful things.  He looked over as the women came back.  "I talked to Ripper.  He thinks the boy's tainted by this.  Miss Summers has taken that to mean he's now demonic.  Ripper isn't contradicting her."  Dawn's face hardened.  "We have three days.  We need him able to remember who he is by then."

Faith nodded.  "He was lucid once in the shower and once while we bandaged him."  She came over to look at him, shuddering at the injuries.  "Ethan, can't you heal that?" she asked, pointing at the remaining injury on his penis.  "That's got to hurt."

"It does," he agreed.  "I can feel his pain.  When I warded and protected him from chaos, it linked us."

"Those pain surges and the bleeding you were doing," Faith said, looking at him in awe.  He had done this for him?  "You love him," she stated.

"I have.  He was so innocent and pure.  It was rousing in many ways."  He stood up, giving her a kiss.  "I would never be able to keep him, Faith, but I have tried to protect him since he asked me personally."

"Still, you dig him," she told him.

He nodded, giving her a sad smile.  "Yes, and he had a small infatuation for me.  I doubt he'll ever be able to touch another male again after this.  That leaves me out."  He gave her a gentle kiss.  "Thank you for understanding."

"I had a lot of time to think.  Xander came to me to help me when everything started and I brushed him off.  He's the only one who did it because he wanted to help *me*.  No matter that he did hope it would make B notice him, he did it because he thought I needed it.  I will help him because he helped me.  He wrote me while I was in the can.  Every week.  Telling me what was going on, keeping me sane and focused."  He hugged her.  "How could they do this to him?"

"Wesley was a stupid ass who panicked," Ethan soothed.  "He thought only a higher demon could stop the uprising because it was so massive.  For that, he needed a pure sacrifice, which the boy wasn't.  Then he phrased his request inappropriately.  It made him immortal," he said bitterly.  "A warrior for eternity for the Light."

"He should be the poster boy for 'this is why you don't bargain with demons," Dawn said as she came out of the bathroom.  Ethan opened his arm, letting her come over to get a hug of her own.  "I was very careful when I did what I had to do."

"I'm sure you were, Dawn.  You are always very careful."  He gave her an extra squeeze, making her moan.  "I'll make you some healing potion when I make his."  He looked toward the door as it opened, glaring at the man standing there.  "What?" he demanded.

"He's still bleeding, I can smell it," Angel said quietly.  "I'd like to help."

"How?  By watching through that nifty portal while he was hurt so brutally?" Dawn snapped.  He flinched.  "The only thing you're capable of doing for him is leaving him alone and keeping my sister the fuck away from him when she shows up, Willow as well.  As soon as we can move him, we are."  Angel nodded, leaving them alone.  "Fucking parasites," she ground out.  She got free, going to have a magical explosion in the bathroom.  Her rage was pumping her magic up and she needed to release it so she could help Xander.

***

Xander was awake and aware his third morning, but he wasn't totally there.  Faith had gotten him up and into some boxer shorts so nothing would rub against his injuries.  She had even gotten him into some pants and a light t-shirt over his bandages.  He was prone to having bouts of hysterical laughter for no reason and he was prone to staring at something no one could see.  Faith had him up and moving.

Dawn was helping him bathe still, making sure he didn't take another wire brush to himself again like he had the night before. He was still injured and moving slowly, but he was starting to move better.  Dawn looked at Faith, who was frowning.  "What?" she asked quietly.

"There's more than one slayer nearby," she hissed.  She stood up.  "Xander, I want you to stay up here," she instructed.  He looked at her, then nodded slowly.  "Thanks."  She walked out, locking the door behind her before walking down the stairs.  Fred was screaming at Buffy and the two junior slayers she had brought, but Willow was managing to move around her.  "Freeze," she said, backhanding Willow.  "You do not get near him.  He's still injured from what you did."

"I had to!" Willow shrieked, getting up to face off with her.  "I didn't want to, but I had to! It was the only way to save everyone!"

"Wrong.  I fixed it.  There was another way," Faith said coldly.  "You hurt him worse than anyone I've ever seen.  If he survives mentally, I'd be shocked."  She looked at Buffy and the two juniors.  "Leave, girls."  They looked toward Buffy.  "Now.  This is not your fight.  They sacrificed a friend to a demon for no reason.  If Buffy brought you, she lied.  Xander's human and badly injured.  He's got almost no skin that wasn't bruised or ripped when he came back.  Even his scalp and stomach.  He has injuries I can't even imagine what the cause was."  They went pale and backed away from Buffy.   "You two touch Xander over *my* dead body," she told Buffy.

"He's tainted!" Buffy told her. "No matter what the reason, he's tainted!  He'd want us to help him!"

"After you didn't stop his best friend from giving him to the thing that hurt him?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  "You get near him through my dead body, Buffy Summers.  And if you get through me, then you'd better be prepared to kill your sister too."

"And me," Fred agreed.  Angel tried to grab her but she kicked him in the nuts, making him groan and fall to the floor.  "You go away.  You watched and smirked," she told him.  "You're still an evil bastard."  She glared at Buffy and moved to stand behind Faith.  That way Faith wouldn't hit her when she went after Buffy and Willow.  "We got in more bandages, Faith," she said quietly.  "Gunn has them."

"Yay.  I'll go do a bandage change in a minute," Faith told her.  "Leave, Buffy, before we have to go at it again."

"Yes, do leave," Ethan agreed as he came down the stairs. "Faith, any magic around the boy will reopen his wounds, but I will kick her ass if you want."

"No, I won't let Xander be hurt more," she said, glancing at him.  Willow tried to rush her so she kicked her in the middle of the chest, knocking her to the ground gasping.  "Nice try," she said firmly.  "Do it again.  Let's see if I can break all your ribs."

"Stop it!" Gunn yelled.  "They're his *friends*.  Maybe if they see him, they'll understand."

"If he sees them he may run out and get killed," Ethan told him.  "Are you up to finding him and saving him?"  Gunn went pale.  "I didn't think so.  And yet, he was considering you to be family.  How charming."  He glared at Buffy.  "You are not getting near him.  Nor will Miss Rosenburg.  She caused it, I have no doubt she will harm him more.  As will you," he sneered.  "You should go back to Ripper's side and let him feed you more platitudes."  She stiffened, glaring at him.  "Now, girl, before you pass on."

Cordelia came out of nowhere, looking at them.  "Stop it," she said, and her voice carried the command to all of them.  "Buffy, Willow, Angel.  As warriors for the Powers, you have failed miserably.  You have unbalanced the universe, giving evil a big legup across the saddle of world domination.  You hurt one of the few white warriors.  How could you?"  She glared at Willow.  Then at Angel.  "The Powers would like to speak to the both of you.  Go see the Oracles, now."  She looked at Ethan, Faith, and Dawn.  "Protect him.  He is important.  Janus and the Powers are working together."

"Even if he wasn't, not even Janus could pull me away from him," Ethan told her.  She nodded and disappeared, going back to her higher plane.

Buffy gaped.  "What was that?"

"Cordelia ascended," Fred told her.  "Did you ignore that friend too?"  She stomped past Faith, going to get the bandages so she would have something to do.  Before she became homicidal.  She did understand, as much as anyone could.  She walked up the stairs, knocking politely. "It's me.  I've got more bandages," she called.  "There's a standoff downstairs."  Dawn opened the door, walking past her.  "I'll sit with him, Dawn, I promise he'll be fine with me."  She walked in and shut the door, bending to stroke Xander's bruised forehead.  "Shh, it's Fred," she told the sleeping body.  "I'll do what I can to help you, Xander.  I liked you before. You were neat and this was wrong.  If I see Wesley, I'm going to kick his butt for you."

Dawn walked down the stairs, looking past her sister.  She pulled out his dagger and slit her thumb, casting the blood down onto the floor with a silent chant.  A portal opened.  "Go home," she ordered.  Willow backed away from her.  "That's right, *I* saved Xander.  Go home, Rosenburg.  Before we duel."  Willow shook her head, staring at her.

"After we had to save you from people making you do this, you do it now for show?" Buffy sneered.

Dawn hopped over the railing, grabbing her sister and shoving her through, kicking her on the ass as she went sailing through.  "No, I'm not doing it for fun.  I'm doing it because it needs to be done.  Sort of like stabbing you while you sleep, sister dear."  She looked at Willow.  "You too.  Now.  Don't make me compel you."  Willow backed away and Dawn readied a spell, but Willow moved herself away.  Dawn let the portal close and ran up the stairs, finding Fred unconscious and Xander gone, with Willow laying on the bed in a puddle of blood.  "Good, hopefully you die," she sneered, helping Fred up.  "Where is he?"

She shrugged.  "I don't know," she admitted.  She patted herself down.  "I had my mini- crossbow on me," she said, her eyes wide.  "It's gone."

"Xander has it, he's good with them," Dawn soothed, taking her down the stairs.  "Faith, Ethan, he ran off," she announced.  "If anyone wants to save Willow, she's bleeding from her own knife."  She handed Fred to Ethan. "He has a crossbow."

Ethan looked up.  "Is he going to be safe?" he whispered.  He suddenly smiled and looked at Dawn.  "He will be finding a new protector within an hour," he told her.  "Janus said so.  Ripper prayed it be so to keep him away from me."

"Yippee, will this new protector be able to help him heal?" Faith asked.  He looked at her and nodded.  "How do we know?"

"He's injured himself."

"Which means he'll be bringing out Xander's protective instincts," Dawn said, suddenly smiling when she heard the message.  She looked at Faith and nodded.  "He'll be fine.  We've got bigger problems.  To you, vengeance goes."  Faith nodded.  "Have Ethan help you. He claimed protection years ago.  It is his duty to help you and do what he can on his own."  Faith nodded, taking Ethan's hand.  "Fred, unfortunately the Powers want you here," she said, looking at her.  Then she looked at Gunn, Angel, and Connor.  "You three are in varying shades of deep shit.  Connor, did you enjoy watching?"  He shook his head.  "Are you sure?"  He nodded quickly. "Then you are to accompany your father to the Oracles.  They have an assignment for you far from his care."  Connor nodded, looking firm until he glanced at his father, then he showed absolute hate.  "Gunn, you were to be his reward.  How do you like that?"  Gunn backed away from her.  "You three are to visit the Oracles."  She opened a portal with their help, sucking them through.  "Wesley is to be dealt with by Xander himself," she told Faith and Ethan.  "We can harass and make miserable but his final death is up to Xander to do.  Willow's will be much the same, though not by his hand.  They would not do that to him.  His protectors will see to it."  She shook her head, looking at them. "And I am to follow my nature.  If it happens that I stay on the side of good, then I do. If I don't, then I won't.  The Light is suffering greatly because of Wesley.  They're bleeding from a fatal wound.  Faith, go take charge from my whore of a sister.  Kick her pregnant ass out of your way if you have to."  Faith looked stunned.  "They said so."  She created another portal, sending them back to Giles' new shop. She closed it and looked at Fred.  "You will have to because you are one of the last warriors left," she told her.  "It will be hard and you will not feel protected.   If Wesley hadn't done this, Xander would have provided the next generation's warriors to take yours and my place."  She walked away, heading into the night to try and track Xander.  She wanted to know who this new guardian was.

***

Xander walked into a warehouse, looking around fearfully.  He could feel all sorts of demons but something in this place was calling out to him.  He didn't know what it was but it felt pure.   It felt clean.  Maybe it could clean him, make him whole again.  He heard people and panicked, backing into the shadows, but something was prompting him.  He had to hurry to the voices before something worse happened.  He winced as a shot went off, going running.  He knocked into the person with the gun, picking it up and shooting it without thinking about it.  He looked at the man kneeling on the floor, now bleeding from a wound on his ankle.  "Hey," he said softly, like he would talk to an animal. "Hey, are you alive?"  The man looked at him.  Xander walked closer slowly.  "You can't stay here.  Something bad is coming.  They smell the blood."  He could hear them coming for his blood, could feel their taint.  He picked up the man's hat, then him by the bound arms, leading him off.  "I know it's hard, but pain is life," he told him. "Pain happens and we just have to go on with it."

"Know something about it?" the man grunted.

Xander let out a hysterical laugh.  "Yeah, I do," he admitted.  He could feel himself bleeding again.  He knew there was a cheap motel around there somewhere and he had stolen Fred's wallet.  She had money.  He found it and got them checked in, taking the extra towels.  He got the man unbound and laying flat on the bed, then went to get him some water.  He needed to drink, Dawn made him do a lot of that.  He hoped she was okay, she was going against the monsters by herself now because he couldn't protect her anymore.  He limped back out, helping the man with his injury.  "Shh," he whispered, hearing someone outside their door.  He picked up the gun, heading over to look.  Then he grimaced and let the curtains drop.  "It's not a good person."

"It's all right, kid," the man on the bed told him.  He looked at the stranger.  He had short silver hair.  He was badly bruised, he could see it in the room's weak light.  He was limping.  "Are you all right?"  Xander shook his head.  "Do you need to see someone?  I think I should."

"I know how to fix those," Xander promised, limping over to help him.  "I've healed wounds before."  He dabbed at the graze, clearing off the blood.  "I know it hurts.  I'll go get pills soon."

"Get liquor, it helps more," he offered.  He moved with a groan of pain.  "Who are you?" he asked, tipping the boy's face up.  He wasn't that old, even though he did have silver hair.  "What's your name?"

Xander looked into his eyes.  "I'm not sure anymore," he said.  "I don't like my old one."

The man grimaced.  "Okay, what was your old name?"

"Xander."

"Xander."  Xander nodded.  "Why don't you like it?"  The boy stood up, going to get him some more water.  "Xander, what happened to you?"  Xander let out another panicked laugh and he had to keep him from running.  He wasn't in any shape.  "Hey, I need you to stay," he said, knowing the kid needed help badly.

Xander's eyes lit up.  "You need me to help you?  Okay, I can do that," he agreed, starting to smile.  "I'm a good helper, no matter what they say."  He looked at the gun, then tossed it beside the tv, bending to help him out of his jacket, shirt, and tie.   "You're still injured, I can smell the blood.   I promise, I'd never hurt you that way," he said when he saw the cautious look.  "I won't.  Even if I could."  He saw the bruises and winced, going out to get some ice from the machine.  He got some extra towels too.  The manager gave him a funny look but had seen some of his bruises so figured it was for him.  "Thank you," he said quietly, heading back to help this person.  He needed him to help.  He could do that.  Doing that would make him forget for a while.  He came back into the room, finding the man unloading the gun.  "I'd never use it on you.  You're injured," he told him, coming over to make and use the ice packs.  He used one on his own forehead, it was throbbing with the pain.

"Kid."  The man tipped his face up. "Let me see."  Xander moved the ice pack, looking at him.  "Xander, what happened to you?"

"Bad guy."

"What sort of bad guy?"

"Big one.  Prince of Hell sort," he babbled.  "He won't come back, Faith said he wouldn't come back so you don't have to worry about that."  Jigen shut him up by putting a hand over his mouth.  He gave him a look so the hand was removed.  "It's all right, I can protect you.  I'm good at it."

"I'm sure you are," the man agreed.  He winced when he moved.  "I think I've got a bruised rib."

"Those hurt," Xander agreed.  "I've had those."  The man looked at him.  "It's all right.  They heal after a few weeks.  I've had a few of them.  And a concussion and a broken arm and a few other injuries over the years."

"Did your boyfriend beat you?" the man asked.

Xander shook his head.  "No, I don't have one of those.  I would have but then *he* came and now I don't have anyone.  They want to kill me."  He blinked then shook his head.  "You need to drink," he said, forcing himself not to think about that.  The man took the water, sipping it for him.  "Good.  That'll help more than anything but pills."

"You know a good dealer?"

"There's probably at least one in this place," Xander admitted.  "I can ask."  He got up before the man could stop him, going out to look at the other rooms.  He walked to an open door, tapping gently when he saw a hooker in there.  "My friend has broken ribs."  She gaped at him.  "Do you know someone who might have something for that?  And where the nearest liquor store is?"

The woman came out, touching his bruises.  "Sweetheart, I know someone who can help both of you," she promised, giving him a gentle kiss.  "Give me ten minutes.  What room are you in?"

Xander pulled out the wallet, looking inside it.  She took the ten dollar bill in the back and he held up his room key.  "Thank you."  She nodded, letting him go.

She walked back into her room, calling her dealer.  "Phil, I've just seen the most horribly bruised boy.  He looks like his pimp beat him.  He made up a story about his friend having bruised ribs, asked me if I knew someone."  She fluffed out her hair.  "Yeah, he's fully broke.  No, his face is one big bruise, sweetie.  Even his forehead and scalp."  She winced at his swearing.  "Please?  Consider it a good thing for a brother on the street."  She laughed. "Thanks.  Yeah, we're in the usual place."  She hung up, going out to wait on him, tucking the ten into her bra as a tip for her doing the good deed.  "Life is hard out here, but that's one thing I hope never to have to go through," she muttered, lighting a cigarette.   Her dealer showed up and she led him to the room, letting him meet the boy.

Phil looked at him.  "I've seen you," he noted. Xander looked clueless.  "You went to Radio's."  Xander nodded, blinking at him.  "I didn't know you worked."  He caught sight of the man on the bed and winced.  Everyone knew the man with the hat.  His boss would owe him, even if he didn't like his job.  "Never mind, boy.  I'll give you a freebie this time.  Next time, you pay for it."  He handed over a small baggie of pills.  "The blue ones are for pain.  The red for sleeping, the white for bad pain.  Take one of those yourself."  He noticed the boy was bleeding onto the floor.  "You might want to see someone about that."

The hooker turned him around and looked down his shirt, then went to get sick.  "Oh, God.  It's worse than that movie where the guy ate the brain!" she complained.

The dealer walked in, taking Xander into the bathroom.  "You clean yourself up, take one of the white pills," he ordered gently.  Xander nodded, taking one then, then going to clean up.  He looked at the man on the bed.  "I'm Raul, but Honey out there calls me Phil."  The man on the bed nodded, knowing what was going on.  "You gonna need more than that?"

"Anything good in that bag?"

"Some demerol.  A few sleeping pills.  A few valium.  I mostly work the club boys these days."  He looked at the injury.  "He's done good so far."  He nodded toward the bathroom.  "He's sick."

"I noticed the limping."

"His back made Honey puke and she's got a cast iron stomach," he told him, heading for the door.  "Need anything else?"

"A convenient liquor delivery," the man said dryly, smirking at him.  "Thanks.  We do owe you."

"Hey, pain-free makes the world go 'round.  I understand that."  He left, going to call a buddy of his who had some liquor stashed.  That guy was famous!  His boss was even more so!  They may have a small ticket out of the streets.  Wait until his supplier heard who he had treated.

The man on the bed got up, heading for the bathroom as quietly as he could limp.  He wanted to check the boy out himself.  Something wasn't adding up.  This wasn't some street kid.  This wasn't a rent boy.  The fact the boy had been carrying a crossbow confused him, and he had seemed so comfortable with the gun, but he was injured and panicking.  He did not understand this in the least.  He cracked open the bathroom door, wincing when he saw the boy's back.  He took the pill bag, deciding to hold it for now.  That kid needed them more than he did.  What had done that!  Some of that wasn't from a whip or any weapon he knew.  That boy had been tortured, not hurt by his boyfriend.  He laid back down with a small moan of pain.  He took one of the lesser pain pills, enjoying it a lot.  His back didn't hurt from the beating he took.  He picked up the phone, dialing his phone card from memory then his best friend's cellphone.  "I'm living," he announced.  He listened to the relaxed chuckle.  "I'm having some problems.  Wire me some cash to LA?  Yeah, the usual is fine."  He looked toward the bathroom.  "I have no idea.  I just got a mystery dumped in my lap."  He snorted.  "No, he doesn't have tits.  Yeah, a him."  He groaned as he shifted.  "I'll live.  The kid saved me."  He listened for a moment more then he heard the shower shut off.  "I'll check in with you later in the week," he said, hanging up.

The boy came out of the bathroom, looking at him.  "Are you okay?  I heard you groan."

"I did, but I was shifting," he said.  "You okay?"

"I can't feel a thing," Xander admitted.  "Not anymore."  He moved the damp ice packs over, placing them where they could radiate up to help the bruising.  "Try to keep that on.  It helps me when I've had to patrol."  He went back into the bathroom, looking at himself.  He winced, but he knew what had caused this.  The pain was less now, he could put it behind himself.  He closed his eyes, communing with the voices in his head.  One of them took the memories back into it's darker corner with him.  He was left with the realization of what had happened and how bad he was injured. He could deal with this.  He stood up straighter, finding his own mental footing again.  He could help that man then disappear.  He needed him, that was all that mattered.  Someone had driven him into that warehouse for a reason.  Maybe he was his reward for surviving.  Or maybe he could help him leave this town.  He would do anything to go somewhere else and start over.  He went back to check on him, answering the door.  "Yes?" he asked.

"We were told to give this to Jigen," the Crypt, by his bandana, said, handing over a large plastic bag.  "Who're you?"

"Xander.  Thank you.  Anything else?"

"Nah.  Tell him we've got his back if he needs it.  Come to us if he needs stuff."

"I need my gun back," Jigen called.

"It's in the bag, hatman.  Along with some ammo.  Old school works well?" he asked, smirking at him.

"Every shot," he agreed.  "You'll hear from me again."  The Crypt nodded and walked away.  "Close the door, Xander."  Xander did so, bringing him the bag.  "Thanks.  Sorry about that."

"Hey, they were nice to you.  They're never nice to me.  They think I'm some pampered white boy."  He sat down with a wince of pain, looking around the room.  "Can I do anything else to help you feel better?" he asked.

Jigen looked at him, then shook his head.  "I'm good.  Thanks.  Take another white pill, it'll help that."  Xander frowned.  "I mean it.  It'll help."

"I'm fine.  I haven't felt pain in months."  The man looked at him, mouth slightly open.  "Really.  I haven't."  He opened the bag, handing over the fifth of scotch and two of the cans of soda.  "Can I have this one?  Or I can always go use the machine outside."

"No, go ahead, I drink my with ice, not soda," he noted.  The boy grinned and popped the can, gulping it down.  He opened the fifth and took a long swig from the bottle.  "So, tell me about yourself," he said when the silence got to be pressing.  Xander looked at him.  "What's your full name?"

"Xander."  He grinned sadly.  "I'm not exactly myself, sorry.  Usually I'm much more of a goofball."  He took another long drink.  "I'm nearly local.  I'm not the man everyone thinks I am."  He heard a noise outside and grabbed the gun, slapping the clip back into it and cocking it like he was used to such a thing.  "Stay here.  That's not a good sound."  He grabbed the crossbow as well, heading out onto the walkway.

Something jumped toward him. Jigen could see it through the thin curtains.  Then it disappeared in a whoosh.  The boy came back and closed and locked the door.  "What was that?"

"Vampire," he said simply, sitting down again.  He checked the gun, putting on the safety.  "They're not really that nice.  I don't want to deal with them right now."

"Hey, I understand," Jigen told him, not understanding a damn bit but this boy obviously had some skills.

***

The next morning, Jigen took Xander with him when he went to pick up his money at a Western Union, taking him to help him get bandages and necessary stuff.  He was growing on him.  The boy was chatty and babbled when he was nervous, but there was something underneath there.  The boy had some sort of experience that was shining out at him.  He reminded him of a young Lupin, only less smarmy.  He even took the boy with him when he went to get some clean clothes.  He looked at the fitter, then at the boy, who was touching some fabrics.  "Put him into something better than that," he ordered.  Xander looked at him. "You think you could help me back home?"

"Is home far away from here?"

"Yeah, far, far away."

"Then I'm all for it," Xander said firmly.  He and Jigen locked eyes.  "What?" he asked finally.

"Trying to figure you out, kid."  He shrugged, then winced.  "Put him into something nice.  Something serious but nice."  The fitter nodded, hurrying Xander into the changing area.  They were in there a long time and he was starting to wonder, but figured it was about the bandages.

***

Xander looked at the man trying to fit him.  He touched the pendant showing.  "I've seen that mark somewhere."  The man stiffened and looked at him.  "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Cyril," he said softly.  "I work with certain people who are like you."

"Damaged?"

"Talented," he corrected. "You now have gifts."  Xander let out a snort.  "You do, young man."  He touched him on the arm, an unbandaged and bruise-free area.  "You have powers now, I do not know from what source.  I was sent to talk to you about training them."

"I'd rather forget I have them," he said firmly.  "They'll make me break down and I won't do that anymore."  Cyril gave him a nervous look.  "I'm glad someone's happy with their gifts, dude, but it's not me.  I don't want to think about how I got them."  He looked down at his bandaged chest.  "I was worse."

Cyril nodded.  "We heard.  The talk said you were bleeding copiously."  He pulled down a dark blue jacket and Xander gave him a look.  "He said serious."

"Lighter than navy, please?  I'm a nice guy, not some stringer for the mafia."

The man laughed.  "And you're with Jigen?"

Xander nodded. "I found him, I'm taking care of him."

"Then I'm happy for you.  If you ever need us, we are in Cairo.  Remember that and remember we are all around.  If you need us, yell."

"Like I did for Ethan?"

"Exactly," he agreed.

Xander looked at him.  "Are you like the X-Men?"

Cyril chuckled, shaking his head.  "Not exactly.  We're all underground, though I have heard that comparison before.  I will send someone to you later to help with your healing.  Will you allow it?"

"I'm all for not needing the pills."

"Then I shall do that."  He got the boy dressed in a medium blue suit and a black shirt with a black tie.  "How's that?" he asked. Xander nodded, letting him lead him out even though he was tugging at the tie.  "How is that?" Cyril asked Jigen.

"I like it," he admitted.  "Quit that.  You'll get used to it."  Xander looked at him.  "If you're with me, you've got to look the part, kid."  Xander nodded.  "We'll take this and that.  Where can I get my old one cleaned?"

"There's a good dry cleaner around the corner.  They've got a same day service."  He took the cash, checking them out.  He came back with a card.  "Give this to her, you'll get a small discount."

"I'm always up for a discount," Jigen agreed, smirking at him.  "Thank you.  Come on, kid."  Xander walked after him, turning to wave and smile at the fitter.  "You'll be fine."  Xander grinned at him but he was still trying to fuss with the tie.  "Quit that," he chided.  "Give it a few minutes, you'll be fine."

Xander sighed.  "If you say so."  They walked into the dry cleaner and the woman gave Xander a wide-eyed look.  He gave her a clueless look.  She composed herself, taking the card and his old suit.  Xander paused behind.  "What?" he asked.

"You are considered a consort," she whispered to him.  "Use it wisely.  We will be talking soon.  When you are healed."  He nodded, trotting out the door.  She read the message Cyril had put onto the card, sending out a call to their boss.  He wouldn't be pleased but the boy had a teacher already.  That one dealt with strange stuff.  She invoiced the items herself and went to make sure they were done right.

***

Xander frowned at the knocking on their hotel room door, opening it to find a young woman.  "Yes?"

"I was sent to look at your injuries," she said quietly, looking into his eyes.  "Cyril sent me."  He let her in.  She bowed to Jigen.  "I was sent to look at your injuries, Great One.  May I?"

He gave her a look, then shrugged.  "Get us both?"

"Of course.  I am a very skilled healer."

"Know Fihad?" he asked.  She broke out into a beautiful smile.  "I'll take that as a yes.  Go for it.  Sit, kid."  Xander sat, watching as she worked.  He started to feel sleepy and looked at her.

"It is necessary.  Your bruises will be absorbed," she whispered.  "I need longer to work on the boy."  He nodded, understanding that, and let himself fall asleep.  She turned to look at Xander, who was taking off his shirt.  "Consort, I was asked to ask you.  Will you honor our silence?"

"Of course," Xander said immediately.  "Cut that consort shit out though.  I'm not."

She came over, touching a mark on the back of his hand.  "You are.  This says you are."  He frowned and looked at himself.  She found the necklace hiding it from him, taking it off for him.  He let out a small shriek, and she could tell he was remembering.  She put a hand on his head.  "Let it be a step removed," she whispered.  "Let it be like he was watching it."  He looked at her and she gave him a sad smile.  "I cannot let someone suffer like that, Consort.  You or the Great One."  She put a hand onto his face, healing his bruising and doing what she could for his other injuries.  She was worn out by the time she was done but he had less than ten percent of his old injuries when she was done.  "There," she whispered.  "It is better now.  Not perfect but it will heal in time."  He gave her a hug, returning her energy.  "Thank you, Consort.  I am Heidi.  You can trust those of us with this mark," she said, pulling out her pendant as she sat beside him.  He gave her a look and she smiled.  "We are criminals, as is the Great One.  He is famous, we live in the shadows, supporting those who would be great to keep the balance going."  She stroked his cheek, giving him a sad smile.  "You unbalanced the world.  He should not have done this."  He nodded, getting that point.  "Come to Cairo in six months.  Talk with us when you know what you want to do."

"Who is he?" Xander asked.

"He is Jigen.  He is a famous gunman.  He is an expert.  He sees something in you that is similar.  Try not to break his heart if you go back to the light."

He snorted.  "They've lost me for good," he told her.  She gave him a smile and a gentle kiss.  "Thanks."

"You needed and deserved it.  Let him teach you.  Suck at his knowledge like a baby at a teat.  You will find happiness and health with him.  Protect him as you would one of your pack."  Xander nodded, his eyes closing as she stroked his cheek.  She finished knocking him out, then gathered herself together and left.  He would not betray them.  She was sure of it.  He had made his choice.  He would need their help some day.  He would be great.

***

Xander woke up to find Jigen looking down at him.  "How are you?"

"Fine."  He helped the boy back into his tie.  "You?"

"Better," he admitted.  He looked around the room.  "Did you need to do anything else in town?  Anything I can help you with?"

"No.  You did it for me."  He put an arm around the boy's shoulders, seeing the smaller wince. "Need something for that?"

"I'm good," Xander told him.  "I don't feel it anymore."  Jigen gave him a look.  "Really.  I don't."  He gave him a goofy grin.  "Where are you heading to next?  Can I really come with you?"

"You'd better.  I've fricken' adopted your ass. You've got skills.  You're a natural shooter and you've got the slickness that says you'd do the job well.  You think you can?"  Xander nodded.  "You know that means you'd have to *kill* people, right?"  Xander nodded.  "That doesn't bother you?  We're not like a Western.  It's a hard life."

Xander laughed.  "Hard life?  Killing?  Shit, that's like home to me," he said firmly.  The older man looked at him and he grinned.  "You have no idea who you're talking to, man.  I'm not the nice little boy most people think.  I grew up patrolling for vampires.  I'm not great, but I think I've got some skills.  If you can help me get better, then we're good.  If not, then I'll hitch out of town and find somewhere in Mexico to land.  Far away from everything I've ever known."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight," Jigen told him.  The boy's face lit up again.  "Come on.  Let's hit the road."

"Will I get to drink?"

"I do, so it's not much of a problem," he admitted.  "It's not a romantic life, remember that."  He gathered up their small amount of stuff, heading out to grab his suit from the cleaner, then they left town in a stolen car.   Xander was having a ball, he could tell it'd take a few weeks for reality to set in, but this kid could handle it.  He knew he could.  "Hey, Kid.  To make you a good gunman, we'll have to build up a name for you.  You wanna stay Xander?"

Xander considered it.  "How about Lavelle?" he asked.  Jigen looked at him. "It's something I've answered to in the past."

"It's a good, strong name," he agreed.  "I can see it on wanted posters."

"Gee, thanks, boss," Xander said with a slimy person grin.  "Think I can do a Bonny and Clyde too?"

"Sure, why not.  I don't much go for banks.  I prefer gems."  Xander's mouth fell open.  "Yes, me."

"Pretty stuff," he said in awe.  "I like pretties.  Precious things are good for me.  Can you teach me?"

"Sure.  We'll find you your own gun.  Go ahead and toss that weak little pop gun out the window the next time we go over an overpass."  Xander did as told, and the sped on, heading for Texas.   What better place to teach the boy to shoot?

The Job.

"Thinking back, that was the one time that I was wrong," he mused as he looked at his young student.   The older man was a teacher, and it showed on his face that he had the experience.  His hat was carefully covering his eyes, his beard was a bit more sparse each year that went past.  His shoulder-length black hair had a few white spots in it, just enough to show up as highlights for now.  His tense body was wiry but not as firm as in his youth.  To say it plainly, he was getting older.  "I still was young and dumb.  Even after all I had done, I was still young and stupid enough to believe that I had the right to pass on what I had learned."  He looked around the small cell.

"Whatever," his apprentice sighed.  "How much longer do you think?"  He ran a careless hand through his just longer than shoulder-length platinum silver hair.  No dye could give you that shade, you had to be born with it or earn it.  His body was tensed and ready to jump, like a slinky some kid was moving back and forth.  His face was mostly emotionless, especially his eyes, and his lips were pressed together in annoyance.  This was not where they had planned to be.

"That would depend on whether or not he checked his mail yet and where in the world he might be," the older man said, sitting down on his bunk.  He slowly lay down, some of his old injuries still ached now and then and it was damp in there.  "It's only been a day.  We've probably got some more time."

"Wonderful."  The young guy leaned over the edge of his bunk, looking down at his mentor.  His hair didn't move, he had stuck it in place before they had gotten caught and it was behaving for the moment.  "How did I talk you into this one?"

"One last hurrah before I retired for good?" he reminded the kid.

"Oh, yeah."  He sighed and lay back down himself.  "It wouldn't be so bad if there was something to do in here."  It had been funny, the guard had told him that they couldn't even give him a word search and a pencil because they were so dangerous they might hurt the guards with them.

"That's why a good imagination is so important, kid."

"I know.  Unfortunately, the only thing my imagination is good for this month seems to be tits.  I doubt you want to hear me babbling about them."

"No, not really, but it would be like old times," the man admitted wryly.  "I heard enough of that when I was your age.  And older," he admitted.  "My boss never went a day without waking me up in the middle of the fricken' night."

The younger guy snickered.  "I've seen his picture and I'm not really that impressed.  How did he manage to get so much?"

"Persistence."

"Ah, the anti-drug," the young man quipped.

"Nap, kid.  It'll kill time."

"True.  Hadn't thought of that.  Okay,  I'll sleep, you watch for the torturing bastards and we'll switch in a few hours."  He closed his eyes and got comfortable.  "Could they make these beds any more lumpy?"

"Feel lucky, they've got mattresses.  Some of the places we've seen have only had the floor or concrete slabs and there'd be ten or fifteen of us in this single cell."

"Hmm.  Opportunity but usually not enough I guess."

"Some of us aren't like that."

"And I still curse you every day for that fact," the young guy reminded him.

"Yeah, well, blame me for being straight."

"I blame your old boss, he obviously corrupted you at a young age."

The older guy laughed.  "Nice one.  I'll tell him you said that if and when he shows up."

"If he doesn't, can I just go all animal and kill them the next time they come in?"

"Sure.  Die faster and leave me here," he said with mock-bitterness.  "Then who'd I have to talk to?"

"The walls?  Or hey, at your age, you've got a more handy imagination.  You've done enough so you don't only think about tits anymore."

"That takes mental strength and will power.  We could work on that while we wait."

"Teach me how to scale a wall; it'll come in more handy in the future."

"We'll see.  It's not really your strong suit."

"I know," the young guy agreed.  "That's why I need to work on it."

"Do more pushups, it'll help your arms.  Or I knew someone who rented apartments with enclosed lofts so she could do pull-ups off the railings," he offered.  The younger guy groaned.  "I know, it's hard work and you hate working out."

"Not that.  Can't you hear the whistling?  The boring guy's back."  His hearing was a little better than average thanks to the same reason he had white hair.  It was no trouble for him to hear the annoying tune down the corridor.

"Yay."  A dry chuckle.  "Just the sort of fun you need to spark your imagination in a different direction."  He waved when the annoyance appeared at the bars.  "Morning," he said cheerfully.  "You sound like you're having as much fun as we are."

The inspector glared at him.  "You're being a bastard, but I know you'll talk soon."

"No, not likely," the young guy noted.  "Not that I know that much, but still."

"I told you to study," the older guy reminded him.

"Stop that!" the inspector yelled.  That was more irritating than the teacher and his former boss sniping at each other.

"Watch your blood pressure, old man.  You don't want to have a heart attack and the only people to save you be on this side of the bars."

"Didn't you say he did that once?" the young guy hissed.

"Yeah, but he hates it when I remind of that fact."   He grinned again.  "It's too bad I was forced to give up smoking."

"I'd have to kill you if you lit up in here.  There's no ventilation and I'm still not into the whole 'lung cancer' thing."

"Yet."

"If you say so."

The inspector growled.  "You'll have to talk eventually, you're not getting out otherwise.  At least not until the trial."  His eyes narrowed.  "Don't hope for rescue either.  Your former boss and running partners are in their own sort of trouble.  One's in the middle of a hurricane and the other's on his honeymoon."

"Hey, I've got friends too," the young guy complained.   He sat up.  "Not going to say anything about them?"

"I don't know you well enough to say if your friends are trouble and coming to get into more.  What little I know about you leads me to believe that they're just as scummy as you are."

The young guy laughed.  "Nice try.  Unfortunately, life pushed me this way; my friends are nice people who would probably kill me."  The inspector shrugged and wandered away again.

"You ever going to tell me about them?"

"Not here," the young guy snorted.  "Some night when we're both a little too drunk ask me again."

"Sure.  Is it that bad?"

"More odd.  There's things in my past I can't really tell anyone because they'll make fun of me or other stuff.  Living the odd life is not fun, really."

"Odd?"  The old guy got off his bunk and stood up, looking at his apprentice.  "Define odd."

"You know how you were so upset about that urn that sucked souls?"  The old guy nodded.  That had been a problematic caper.  "I've seen worse on that spectrum, including something that could do that and was walking around."  The guy raised an eyebrow.  "Really.  If we ever get out of here, I'll take you back to my house and I'll tell you."  He grinned.  "But only if you agree to listen without saying anything about it later."

"Fine," the old guy agreed.  He heard a small sound outside their cell and walked over to the plastic window, looking down.  "Hmm.  Laundry day."

"We should send our stuff out," the young guy noted.

"I doubt you want to wear prison uniforms."

"No, not really," the younger guy admitted.  "I think I look nifty in my present outfit.  I'd like to change sometime soon, but not enough to lose it."

"Give it a few days.  We'll be out of here by then."  He turned and leaned against the wall, staring at the hallway.  "I really hate these places."

"Ditto.  And can I say that my imagination wasn't sparked by him at all?"

The old guy snorted. "Of course not.  Why would you want to think about him that way?"

"Eww."  He looked over at his mentor.  "That is one sickening mental image.  Now I need a brainwash."

"And a wax," the old guy said with a grin.  "It'll make it more slick.  Make it run faster."

"This was not my fault," the young guy said patiently.  "I'm not the one with the international bounty on his head who sneezed at the wrong moment in the wrong restaurant.  Why were we eating at the same place as the Cop of the Year banquet anyway?"

"Yeah, yeah.  Whine again and I'll feed you to one of my partner's fish.  They should like you, you're small and you smell like their food."

"I do not smell like ground up fish," he protested.  "I haven't touched any fish-smelling things in weeks thanks to this job."  He settled on his back again, wiggling until the spring was out of his spine.  "Remind me to find a willing hooker after we're free, okay?"

"Sure, kid."  The old guy shook his head.  The younger generation didn't have any self control.  He had gone years without.

"Don't even think about lecturing me about self control," the young guy said without looking. "When you were my age, you couldn't have gone without for years.  You were older when you did that."

"I was busy in my youth, no time for dames."

"Yay.  I'm not."

"You need more caffeine."

"Yes, I do," the young guy agreed.  "Yo, can we get some coffee!" he shouted.

"Shut up!" a guard yelled back.

"If you don't get me caffeine, my ADHD will kick in with the annoying tendencies!" he shouted back.

"Don't piss them off, they'll bring in cattle prods," the old guy warned.

"Let them try," the young guy said bitterly.  "I'm not getting hit with one of those ever again."

"Another story I haven't heard."

"It's related.  You'll get pissed and then I'll have to get really drunk to get away from your ranting."

"Fine."  The guard came in with trays of their lunch.  "Did you get his caffeine?"  The guard snorted.  "He's going to hit withdrawal soon.  I'd hate to have to kill him for singing all night."

"We can always drug him," the guard reminded him.  He shoved the trays through the hole then backed away, watching as they were taken to the bunks.  "You be quiet," he told the younger guy.  He got a wicked cackle in return.  "Try then.  You're already an annoyance to most of us."

"Hey, I could be doing my amazing slut act," the young guy noted, grinning up at the ceiling.  "I've been told I drove a few sexual demons to beg."  The guard shuddered as he walked away.

"Succubus or incubus?"

"Both.  Being bi is like that," the young guy said smartly.  He looked at the tray, then winced, handing it off.  "No thanks.  I have no desire to see it coming back up."  The old guy looked at him.  "Food allergy?"

"Oh, yeah."  He handed his over instead.  "Here, try that.  It's bean free."  He sat down to eat the chili.  It was decent enough, even though it had come from a can.

The young guy ate the salad without complaining.  He didn't like salad, thought they were evil and should be exterminated, but he would tolerate it this time.  He had to keep his strength up.  At least until they got out of here.

***

The old guy heard a familiar noise outside and looked outside again, nodding at the person out there.  He held up two fingers then went to wake up his student.  "Get up," he said roughly.  The young guy rolled over and flipped off his bed, landing on his feet.  Ah, the flexibility of youth.  "Get ready."

"Weapons?"

"Later.  Unless they come through the door.  And no killing the guards!"

"Fine.  Take my fun," the young guy sighed.  "Arm and leg injuries only."  He leaned against the bunks, eyes closed so he could center himself.  As soon as the door opened, the guards would be his.  It was his job as an apprentice to protect the older, more knowledgeable teacher.  The fire alarm went off and the young guy hummed.  "Nice.  Not real original but workable.  Will it shut down anything?"

"That's not them."  Their rescuers wouldn't have pulled the alarm.  The old guy walked out and looked down the hall.  There was a real fire a few cells down.  "Damn."

"Hey, confusion is good if it doesn't lock us down," the young guy reminded him.  People went running past, opening the other cell.  "Self-flambee?"

"Looks like it," the old guy agreed, stepping back as a guard walked past their cell.  "Any survivors?"

"No."  He sneered at them.  "Want a lighter to do the same thing?"

"No thanks.  If I wanted to burn up, I'd have let the guy with the fireproof padding and the flame thrower a few years back do it," the younger guy quipped.  "I'm not that much into barbeques."

The guard sneered, lifting his chin.  "You're a little punk who's going to get what he deserves."

"Missing your own misspent youth?" the young guy quipped, coming over to face him down.  "What's the matter, did you wanna be like me and couldn't hack it?"  The guard lunged and the younger guy caught him by the throat.  "So what's it gonna be?" he sneered, seeing the fear in the guy's eyes.  "You gonna run away or just piss yourself?"

"Let him go," the older guy said patiently.  The younger guy let him go and stepped back.  "Sit!"

"I'm still not your dog," the young guy noted as he sat on the lower bunk.

"Then quit acting like one."  He looked at the guard.  "We warned you he needed caffeine.  This is light withdrawal.  It gets worse," he said happily. "Soon he'll start to sing and be even more violent."

"Yeah.  I'm thinking an off-key rendition of Rod Stewart," the young guy noted.  The guard gave him a look.  "What?  It's not like I can sing on-key," he noted happily.  The guard walked off, still rubbing his throat.  "I can't kill just him?"

"No," the old guy said patiently.  He looked at him. "Why are you so blood thirsty?  There's an art to wounding them so they can't follow you."

"Yeah, but when your first kill is at fourteen and it's your best friend, it's reasonable to be this way.  Even if the kill was necessary at the time," the young guy pointed out.  The old guy looked at him and he shrugged, walking over to start on his life history.  It'd kill time and let him forget he was shaking with withdrawal from the caffeine.

***

When the rescue party got there that night, he found the two guys napping on each other's shoulders, heads pressed together as they slept on the bottom bunk.  "That's a switch," the former boss noted as he opened the door.  "Boys?" he called softly.

The younger guy woke up and looked at him, then nudged his boss.  "They're here."

"Huh?"  He woke up and then nodded.  "Morning.  Took you long enough."

"Yeah, well, things were going funny after that one guy burnt himself," he noted.  He handed them their things, including their weapons.  "Come on, let's go.  The gas will wear off soon."

"Hey, the old guy was here too," the younger guy noted as he followed.  "He didn't look too happy with us.  Can we stop and get a coke?"

"Please get him something," the mentor noted.  "Before he annoys us to death."

"Hey!"  He gave his teacher a light shove.  "Meanie."

"Kid, relax.  It'll be a few minutes and then you can hit a machine."

"Cool."  The guy moved ahead, looking out the door before opening it.  "No SWAT, I'm impressed," he said as he followed them.

"How did you get hooked up with him again?"

"He saved my fricken' life 'cause you were busy," the mentor reminded him.

"Oh, yeah."  He got in to drive.  "The rest of the crew said hi and to not bring you to where they're honeymooning, they'll be leaving in a few days to join us."  He looked at the young guy, who was in the back seat.  "Does he always hold his gun?"

"He's paranoid."  He looked back.  "Put it away," he ordered.

"You mean I can't shoot the old guy in the window?"

"No, leave him alone."  The teacher turned back around.  "Drive."

"Going."  He waved and smiled at the man in the window, then headed off into the early morning.  There was nearly a chase, but for some reason the cops got confused.  There were a lot of red four door sedans on the streets for morning rush.  As soon as they got a good distance away, they started looking for a good hideout.

"Turn left on the next main road," the young guy said with a yawn.  "There's a small town that way but there's almost nothing left in it.  It was evacuated a few years back after an apocalypse."

"You know this how?"

"I helped fight the apocalypse."

"Oh.  Okay."  The two from the older generation looked at each other then back at him.  "When?"

"Everyone said it was an earthquake, one that didn't do any damage anywhere else," the young guy said tiredly.  "The rest of us saw the town slowly be swallowed.  Turn left.  Now."  The car turned.  "Now go about sixty more miles.  This is the back road, there's nothing between here and there."  He closed his eyes.  "Wake me when we find somewhere."

"Sure, kid."  He looked at his old friend.  "According to him, things like that urn walk around there."

"Did.  Past tense," the young guy said.  "With the hole closed it's inactive."

"Hmm."  The driver looked back at him.  "Who are you again?"

"Batman?" he suggested lightly, grinning without opening his eyes.

"Lavelle."

"Sorry."  He opened his eyes and sat up.  "It depends on who you ask.  If you ask my friends, I'm dead.  If you ask people who used to know me, they'll tell you I'm not the person I used to be.  If you ask my teacher, Jigen swears I'm an asshole when I'm in silk but the rest of the time I'm fine."  He grinned again.  "Technically I'm a Harris by birth but not by gifts."

"Harris?  Pretty common name."

"Look it up later.  Hey, take this road.  There's an old house up on the hill.  It's not really haunted, just looks that way."

"Played in it as a kid?"

"No, we helped send the thing living in it away," the young guy told him.  "It's been a few years but he wouldn't want to come back.  She's dead and there's nothing else here for him to do."

"What else is in the town?"

"The last time I was here, a few houses were left standing.  There was a push to tear them down but no one's done anything about them.  Mostly it's a testament to earthquake standards.  Unless there's a geology group in again to study the supposed fault."

"What was it if it wasn't a fault?" Jigen, the mentor, asked.

"A nifty portal to hell.  It looks a lot different than I thought but I was assured it was only a waiting room."  The car stopped and both men looked at him.  He grinned and shrugged.  "I worked with a Slayer back then."

"Shit," the driver noted, looking at his best friend.  "You didn't tell me that."

"I haven't heard the whole story myself yet."  He looked at his student.  "The reason you're so good with heart shots…."

"Are the vampires I practiced on," he agreed.  "Like my best friend who was my first kill."  The adults groaned.  "What?  It beats working on paper targets at a range."

"Yeah, it does.  Okay, are you sure the house is empty?"

"Who'd want to move out here?"

"Have you physically seen it recently?"

"Not for about a year.  It was up for sale, but nothing was biting.  I've kept track of the property battles with the state through the news and a friend who's working on making the state pay them for the damage since it wants to buy the town and demolish it for a new camping area."

"Let's hit the town," the driver decided, heading that way again.  "How much farther?"

"Maybe another hour, depending on speed.  I used to get from LA to town in three hours and I did go a little fast."

"Are there any cops out here?"

"Not unless there's a geology camp from UCLA studying the area.  Then they're up there as security.  They do a monthly fly over with a copter to check for pot growing but nothing else.  Hey, can we hide by the beach?  I haven't body surfed in years."

"We'll see."  The old guys shared another look.  "You're gonna tell us everything later," the driver ordered.

"Sure.  Or you could read my novel.  I've been working on it now for years so I could get it outside my head.  Not that it'll ever see the light of day, but it's a nice way of getting it out."

"Where is it?"

"In my safety deposit box in LA.  There's a courier place that has access.  And no, it's not in my name."  He looked behind them.  "Hey, is that a cop car?" he asked.

"No."  The driver sped up, taking the next turn in the road sharply.  "Any other surprises?"

"Change places with me," the young guy ordered.  He unbuckled and hopped out as soon as the car stopped, letting him get into the back.  As soon as he slid in, and the old guy got into the back, he took off again, going much faster.  He remembered this road fondly.  He had made out on this road many times.  He had also driven it a lot to get to the closest source of porn and comics.  He turned down a side road, heading up the back road toward the ocean.  "This one comes out on the other side of the town.  If there's a geology group, it'll be there, but we'll still be okay.  They'll be at the main crater and we can pretend we're viewing where we once lived.  They give the former residents tolerant looks."  After a while he turned on the radio and flipped the station to an oldies station, then grinned and slowed down.  "Okay, there's a bus. There's a group.  If anyone asks, we lived near Main, off Elm.  That puts the house in the second circle of destruction.  It's also on this side of town.  It was a friend's house but it'll do for now."  He slowly drove behind the bus, then turned down a semi-paved street.  "They were supposed to keep this up," he muttered as he continued on his way.  "We're going to have a look from the heights.  That way you guys can pick out a good place to hide from the cabins back there and I can watch for cops."

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  "You're still going to tell us everything."

"Sure."  He waved a hand at the guard as they passed. The next one stopped them.  "Hey, Xander Harris," he said with a goofy grin.  "Just touring the old home place."  The guard checked his name on a clipboard in the shack.  "We copacetic?"  the guard nodded.  "Cool.  I plan on camping around here.  I've been having nightmares and my therapist said I needed to be here to deal with them."  He gave a head-nod at his mentor.

"Fine, Mr. Harris.  Have a nice day," he said with a smile.  "I hope you get over your problems."

"After living here?  I hope so too."  He drove on, parking in a gravel lot.  "Okay, in front of us is a wooden platform, it's about six hundred feet on the other side of the two trees.  Behind you are visitor cabins.  They're free for residents to stay in.  They're basic but they've got running water and stuff; it was part of the deal the state made as a partial repayment to the residents because they refused to help us at all.  They decided we had some sort of warning since we were on buses."  He turned off the engine and handed Jigen the keys.  "For you.  I'll be on the platform."   He climbed out and headed that way, letting the old guys talk behind his back openly.  He walked onto the platform, looking at the remains of the town.  They really had wrecked it when the hellmouth had exploded.  It was a shame but it had needed to be done.  Even if it wasn't their fault.  He heard footsteps and turned, finding his boss' old friend standing behind him.  "Hey."  He pointed a hand out in front of him. "I grew up down there."

"What happened?  It looks like a big bomb went off."

"Nah, the nifty portal to hell imploded and started to suck," Xander said quietly.  "We barely made it out alive."  He shrugged.  "All part of my wacky former life."  He looked at him.  "You're letting the boss pick the cabin?"

"He's already found one.  They're all empty."

"Cool.  Let's hope none of my friends show up before we leave.  Willow will not be pleased with me."  He shrugged and grinned again.  "Life sucks sometimes and then you move on."

"Sometimes by force."

"Yeah, having to run for your life does force you to move on."  He grimaced.  "At least I didn't get eaten when they decided I was worthless again."

"Why?"

"Ah, he never told you."  Xander looked at him.  "Look in my eyes."

"One's off colored," Lupin told him.  "One's glass?"  The young guy nodded.  "Wow.  Why?"

"The same reason that the town's flattened, a minion of the reason actually.  He decided I needed to see differently so he popped it with his thumb."  He started back toward the cabins.  "Come on, if we're lucky someone nice left soup or something.  If not, the nearest grocery store's a good drive away."

"You haven't been back here?"

"Nope, not until now.  I tried but I couldn't make it back into the town.  I only made it to that non-haunted house."  Xander continued walking.  "I can repress with the best of them, old guy.  Really.  It saves your sanity after a while."  He walked past the car, heading for the open door.  "Any luck on food?"

"Not much.  One can of soup and some instant rice."

Xander sighed as he flopped down onto the couch.  "That does suck.  The nearest grocery place is almost sixteen miles away.  The next town over.  There's a packette on the edge of the town, where the closest gas station is as well."

Jigen sighed.  "That's a long way away."

"The car's got half a tank, if we head that way when we leave, it'll be easier.  We can hit the interstate and head back to LA if we need to, or north if we need to.   The east-west interchange is about seventy miles or so past that exit."

"Good to know," Lupin noted as he walked in.  "How far away is the nearest grocery store?"

"About sixteen miles.  Or about twenty minutes if the light hits you wrong on the way over.  The last time I was here, about five years ago, they were building the Super Wal-mart just beyond the on-ramp to the interstate.  The grocery store was closer to the mall.  Speaking of, I could use some new clothes and so could you, Jigen."

"Sure, if we don't get chased."

"First," Xander said, leaning closer.  "No one knows I'm me.  You didn't even know what my last name was before now.  My fingerprints were changed about three years ago by a bit of radiation from a demon so even if they were on file somewhere it's not going to come up as me.  Secondly, if no one knows who I am, then they definitely wouldn't expect us to come this way or be staying up here.  The only people who come this way are geology graduate students and mourning relatives.  A film crew came up once and then disappeared so the town doesn't allow tourists."  Lupin opened his mouth.  "Seriously.  I figured they became snacks of something that was hiding here.  Even the odd things don't come here anymore.  Third, this place is safer for me than LA is.  Here has no enemies, no cops, nothing."  He leaned back again.  He played with a loose strand of his hair.  "LA has people who want to see me finish dying.   Cleveland had people who might kill me if they see me because of the same incident that got my fingerprints changed.  And no, I'm not telling you about that yet.  I might love you, dude, but not that much."

"How long can we stay here?"

"The guards will give us a few weeks before they start giving us dirty looks.   I'd think three days should be enough to plan our next move.  Or to make plans to move."  He shrugged.  "If not, then I'll leave and head to England.  There's someone over there I want to finish having a discussion with," he said coolly.

"What did he do to you?" Lupin asked, sounding hesitant.

"He's the reason my fingerprints changed; why my friends consider me already dead or needing to finish dying.  He decided I was the perfect sacrifice to stop the world ending.  Without telling me that.  The man was like a brother to me.  He kissed me and then called the demon to take me."  He stretched out, putting his feet on the coffeetable. "That's all you need to know.  Anything else and you could identify him."

"Fine," Lupin said quickly, glancing at Jigen.

"It's not like he'd save him."

"The guy is usually a hero.  This was a case of that was the only option he saw.  No one listened to me or the other person who knew there was another way.  She officially died a few months later because they sent her away too.  When I came back, they flinched away from me and made sure I knew I wasn't wanted.  One of them came after me to hunt me down and kill me.  To end the taint she told me.  All the while crying pitifully about how bad things were going to be for her for doing that.  I found you while I was running from her."

Jigen nodded.  "Fine.  I can see why you don't want to share it with me.  We can head to England.  You're still not ready to be out alone."

"I know," Xander sighed.  "I'm not ready for a lot of stuff. I seem to have that problem a lot before I jump or get pushed into something."  He looked at Lupin, raising an eyebrow and smirking at him.  "You look like you'll have nightmares if you don't get a drink."

"Possibly."  He looked at Jigen.  "Want to take him and get food while I look around?"

"Sure.  Come on, kid.  We'll find food and liquor."

"Cool.  I could use some scotch myself."  He patted himself down, then frowned and walked out to the car, picking up his wallet from the back seat.  "What name did I give them?"

"I think you gave them Lavelle Snyder this time."  Jigen let him drive.  He knew the place and it would be easier than Xander's problem giving directions.  "Why?"

Xander sat in the seat, flipping through his cards.  "Ah, here we go.  Something I haven't used yet.  I've got to remember not to."  He stood up and looked back at the cabin.  "Did you need anything else?"

"No," floated out through an open window.

"Okay then."  Xander got in and started the car, pulling out and down to the guard shack.  "Don't lock the gates," he warned.  "We're going for food."

"A new chain store just opened this side of the Wal-mart," the guard told him.  "You've got about two hours before we leave."  Xander nodded and pulled down the road.  "Poor kid.  So young to have lost everything."

***

Xander walked Jigen through the grocery store, finding the food he'd want.  Even if he had to cook, he was eating real food.

"Go easy on the perishables," Jigen warned.

Xander looked at him.  "There's a microwave.  That's for breakfast."

"You need to eat real food."

"No, I need to eat things that I don't have to concentrate on cooking.  If you want real food in the mornings, you can cook for yourself.  That should get me through three days or so."  He added some soda.  "Okay, what did you need still?"

"Just a few things, the practical things."

"Oh, yeah."  Xander led the way into the toilet paper aisle.  "You know the old guy, he that picky?"

"Get Charmin, he'll be happier with it."  A few packs flew into the cart.  Jigen looked at Xander, who was grinning.  "Since when can you move stuff without your hands?"

"Um, not always and not always successfully, but for about three years now.  Since about two days before you met me."  He gave the candy aisle a loving look but his mentor shook his head.  "Fine.  Ice cream?"

"Nope.  Nothing too frozen."  He walked the boy to the liquor aisle, watching as he pulled down the jug of Canadian Mist and a smaller pint of something else.  "Get my usual too.  Lupe drinks it."  The fifth was put into the cart along with a few picnic glasses.  "That's just wrong, kid."

"Hey, it works.  Ooh, we'll need trash bags probably."  He jogged over and got them, then came back with them and a block of cheese and some crackers.  "Sorry, couldn't help it.  Let's go."  He led the way to the register, letting him do the unloading while he ran the card.  They got everything into the car and Xander looked at his boss.  "Mall today or tomorrow?"

"Do you really have to go?"

"We left the luggage in LA.  We've been wearing the same clothes for four days."

"Good point.  Fine.  We can go to the mall for a few minutes.  Can we get everything together?"

"Nearly."  Xander started the car and headed down the road, landing them at the mall.  "My suitcase was empty anyway because of the blood issue last month."  He led the way in through a side entrance, right to his favorite shop.  Surprisingly enough, it was still here.  "Hey," he said, nodding at the cashier.  She probably wouldn't remember him so it would be fine.  The necessities of good hygiene were easily picked up and new clothes were added to the bill.  Xander made a quick spin through Radio Shack, picking out the necessities, then they went back to the car and back to the cabin.  He was even nice enough to help carry everything in.  "I'm making steak with port sauce, anyone got any arguments?" he announced once everything was up.

"He eats well," Lupin told Jigen, looking at the computer gear.  "You could have used mine."

"All our stuff's back in LA," Xander told him.  "You got a problem with dinner?"

"No.  Half the time we ate rice."

"I've done that.  My stomach gets upset."  He shrugged and grinned.  "It's the wonderful world of food allergies."  He took the meat he wanted to use out of the refrigerator, starting with it.  It was a simple and fast dish.  "Besides, I need to eat well or else I'll start to get sick again," he reminded himself quietly.  He felt the arm slide around his neck.  "Don't squeeze."

"Sure."  Jigen gave him a gentle hug.  "You okay?"

"Yeah.  This town will cause nightmares but I'll live.  Toss me outside if I get too noisy in my sleep."  He grimaced, fixing the mistake he had just caused.  "The sauce is going to be a little thin," he warned.

"That's fine.  We could go back to Japan if you wanted."

"No thanks.  I feel awkward around such formal customs."  He grimaced again. "I'm not the most socially ept person.  I think I'll take a short vacation then head to England to do that guy, then I'll figure it out from there."

"Of course you will.  I'm going to be there with you."  Xander looked at him.  "Like I said, you're not ready to be on your own yet."  He let him go and smirked.  "You make real food and we'll be over here hooking all this stuff up."

"Let me.  I'll do it while I take first watch tonight.  It's not like I can sleep before two in the morning anyway."  He went back to braising his meat.  "You can open veggies if you want."

"Thanks."  Jigen looked at Lupin, who was giving him a look.  He gave a subtle head shake.  Some days he was a counselor, some days he was a teacher, and some days he was a father figure.  This kid was more work than anyone he'd ever known but he was worth it most of the time.  "I think we need to get the whole group together.  He could use some time with the other one."

"His wife will shit," Lupin reminded him.

"Yay. She'd better get used to us.  I'm spending my vacation at his house."  Xander snickered.  "One day it'll be your house.  I'll be there to tempt the future little Lavelle's into crime."

"No little Lavelles," Xander said firmly.  "Not possible."  He took a deep breath, stopping the commemorative butter dish from moving without any physical help.

"I think you're right," Lupin agreed.  He watched the boy cook, then looked at the piles of stuff.  "He needed clothes?"

"Last month we were doing something and got caught in a hostage situation as hostages.  Someone there bled all over most of his stuff.  It needed replaced."

"Fine," Lupin agreed calmly.  He heard a car and looked outside.  "We've got company and it's a little redhead."

"I'm not here, you've never met me, and I'm not leaving the cabin until we all leave," Xander said shortly.  He walked over and drew the curtains once he made sure she wasn't looking in their direction.  "That's Willow," he told Jigen.  He went back to the stove, adding the vegetables to a pot so they could warm up.  A little flour was added to the sauce to thicken it and he smiled.  "There, done," he announced, searching for plates.

"We can eat out of the pans, we've done it before," Lupin noted.  He watched the young woman walk back and forth from her car.  "Friend of yours?"

"Yeah.  Wants to kill me."  He shrugged.  "Seems to be a common theme among them."

"Why is she here?" Jigen asked.

Xander came over and looked at the date on his watch.  "Because the official commemoration is tomorrow night.  She always comes up to pray over the town.  I forgot that, sorry."  He brought the pans and forks over, letting them have one each.  He heard the knock and headed into the bathroom.

Jigen got up and answered the door.  "Yeah?"

She looked at him.  "You're not one of us," she noted.

He smirked.  "I'm here with another of you.  He's explaining things to me.  I'm his counselor."

"Oh.  Then who's...."  She shook her head.  "Sorry, never mind.  I'm nosy.  Have a good night.  It should be safe up here.  There are no animals in the woods anymore."  She went back to her cabin, thinking about it.  The guard had mentioned Xander was here.  They were obviously protecting him.  She felt a calm touch her soul and decided this was not the time.  After the yearly prayer for the lost souls.  Then she could deal with him.  She had been chasing him around now and then, had heard he had been in LA and was in trouble, so she had figured he would run this way.  She had been right but not today or tomorrow.  She'd have to warn Wesley that Xander was still dangerous.  One of the guys had a gun.

***

Xander looked out across the flat area, watching the sky as it lightened.  He could sleep tomorrow.  Nights were too familiar for him these days.  He felt a hand touch his back and looked back.  "Hey," he said, getting out of Lupin's way.  "What's wrong?"

"Nothing.  Wondering why you were lurking in the doorway."

"It's nice out tonight," Xander said quietly.  "It's nice to see the place being peaceful."  He shifted his weight.  "Besides, this way Willow can't try to kill us all."

"She didn't seem that dangerous."

"She is.  Trust me, she's more than dangerous.  Especially to those around me."

"He'll hunt you down if you leave him to protect him," Lupin pointed out.  Xander nodded.  "Are you going to run?"

"No. It's a thought but I'd give him some warning."  He turned away from the sight, looking at the older man.  "I've had shit in my life since day one.  Then Buffy came and it got worse.  I did things I never imagined doing, had things done to me that I can't even think about these days.  I dated women who killed people because they had to so they could survive.  I dated a demon once.  Former supposedly but she never got out of the mindset.  Through it all I was a good guy until that one incident three years ago when I came back."  He swallowed hard.  "And now I have to face her down, can't harm her for it, and move on."

"Remembering won't make it go away."

"True, but it reminds me why I look in the mirror and see someone different.  Otherwise, I get really confused.  It's pitiful but I can't help it anymore," he said bitterly.  He walked over to the couch and laid down, getting comfortable.  "Night, Lupin."

"Good night."  He stared out at the sky.  He wished someone would explain this to him but they wouldn't.  There was something deeper going on and it was wrenching to watch it play out.  Jigen had hinted that the boy was more than he let on but this was something beyond what his friend knew.  He knew it, he felt it like he could feel a safe's combination.   If only for the reason that good guys don't go bad without a reason.  He glanced at the body on the couch then shook his head. He pulled out his laptop and hooked into his home database via satellite uplink.  Then he searched.  He had the boy's name.  It was common but not that common.  The town itself had something and so did LA. Very little was found, but some interesting patterns looked to be developing. He felt someone look over his shoulder and saw the boy standing there.  "Sorry, I wanted to know."

Xander wrote out something and pulled a key off the chain he wore.  "Go there, read the book.  Don't tell him.  He'll only be disappointed in me."  He looked outside.  "I should probably go so she doesn't cast a fire spell and destroy the cabin with us in it."

"She can?"  Xander nodded. "You're sure?"

"I've seen her do it to things in the past.  To her, I'm now a thing.  Thereby she has a clear conscience."  He looked around the cabin, then over at Willow's.  "She won't act on the memorial day.  That means we've got a day."  He walked over and grabbed some hot pockets out of the freezer, putting them into the microwave.  "Want some?"

"No thanks.  I prefer real food."

"When I'm tired it's better if I don't cook," Xander told him. "I tend to burn things and set stoves on fire."  As soon as they were done, he pulled them out and leaned against the counter to eat.  "I should join her probably."

"You can if you want."

"No.  I don't want.  I should but I don't want.  Oh, if you get too close to her while she's praying you might get flashback from her imaging.  She always replays the last few days so she can remember and grieve."  He stuffed his mouth again, handing over the one he hadn't eaten when Jigen joined them.  "Morning."

"Morning.  Did you get any sleep?"

"Fuck no," Xander told him.  "Willow's not above striking while we sleep.  She won't do it today but tomorrow's fair game."   He looked in the fridge and freezer, then nodded.  "Everything that will spoil can be fixed today and taken with us if we need to."  He went back to the couch and laid back down, relaxing again.

"Go nap on the bed, kid," Jigen ordered.  Xander shook his head.

"That's traditionally his spot," Lupin told him.

"It'll hurt his back," Xander told him.  "I don't want to be trapped if she starts shit."

"Fine."  Lupin looked at Jigen, who shrugged.  Neither of them understood this.  They'd seen strange stuff but this was out of their league.  It looked like the propensity for dealing with the strange and dangerous had successfully been passed on if nothing else had been learned from them.  "How was Pops?"

"Gray haired, bitter, and wrinkled," Xander answered.

"Bitter that we weren't saying anything.  He thought you were in the middle of a hurricane."

"I was but I heard it was coming so I left.  I don't want to go through another one of those," Lupin offered dryly, smiling at his friend. "Do you think Goemon'll mind if we show up with the kid in tow?"

"Probably.  We still need to get our stuff from LA."

"I wrote an email to the hotel, telling them to please pack our things and release our room," Xander told him.  "They're sending them to the Cairo address."

"Thanks, kid.  That's handy."

"Hey, I didn't figure they had confiscated anything.  They didn't know what names we were in under."

"Why Cairo?" Lupin asked.

"Xander set it up."

"I figured I'd end up there," Xander admitted with a small sigh.  "It's the home of the strange shit I seem to draw to me these days.  I thought it might be easier.  Plus, who would believe we'd come out of an Arabic country?"

"Good point," Jigen agreed.  "Sleep.  It'll be a tough day."  Xander nodded, rolling onto his side and letting himself drift off.  He waited until he heard the first snore then looked at his best friend.  "He'll wake up eventually.  Then we'll make plans," he said in a normal tone.

"Hopefully.  I'd hate to have to fight in these woods.  What happened? Did you see the crater?"

Jigen shook his head so Lupin took him out to look at the remains of the town.  "He told me he grew up down there," he pointed in the same direction Xander had.

"Was that atomic?" Jigen asked, looking around the rippled ground.  "What the hell?"

"Literally," Willow said from behind them.  She had her arms crossed.  "Now, why are you two really here?  I can have you thrown out if I say you weren't residents."

"We're here with a resident," Lupin told her.  "Next time, try listening."

She snorted. "Yeah, because Xander's still here."

Jigen shrugged.  "He's in the woods."

"Oh."  Her face fell.  "He stayed?"  They shook their heads.  "But you said...."  She grimaced.  "It doesn't matter.  Today is the memorial and I have things to do.  Excuse me."  She moved away from them, going to her usual place.  Her backpack came off and things were pulled out.  "I don't care if you stay while I do this.  I'll be concentrating too hard to care."

The old guys watched her, then the geology students digging around in the remains.  Then her again when a picture started to form in front of her.  They walked over to get a better look, wincing at what they saw.  The boy in the vision wasn't the same one napping on the couch.  This one was cracking jokes.  The woman was crying but they ignored her.  He had said it was her fault partially and she seemed to agree.  When the hellmouth opened, they both flinched but continued to watch.  They made it all the way through the implosion and the run for safety.  Then they walked back to the cabin, not caring that most of the day had gone by.  Xander was on the floor but still asleep.  "How?" Lupin asked.  That was well beyond his capabilities; he could accept that failing in himself, he was not a warrior or a soldier.

"That was just the worst," Jigen told him.  "He told me some of it while we waited on you.  Most of it in code.  I wonder which vampire that one was."

"Was he blond or dark haired?" Xander mumbled.

"Blond."

"Spike."  He lifted his head.  "Willow let you see?"  They nodded.  "Now you know what happened to the town.  My own story's a bit more twisted both before and after that.  That was the worst to date, but then again we were used to bad things happening and us winning."  He stood up and stretched.  "Anyone need the bathroom, I'm going to shower."

"Go for it," Jigen told him, watching as he walked away.  "Xander, I want him to look at the hole in your shoulder."

"It's healed already," Xander called back.

"Yeah, sure it has," Jigen said, grimacing.  There had been blood on his shirt in the same spot as the graze had been.

"So," Lupin said, thinking.  "That was ...worse than anything we've ever had to face," he admitted.  Jigen nodded.  "What do we do with this information?"

"Protect the kid.  She's off somehow."

"I agree," Lupin said quietly, looking outside.  There was a motorcycle pulling up the road.  He whistled when he saw the woman getting off the bike.  "Wow.  Wonder who she is."

Jigen looked out then shook his head.  "Xander has a picture of her but he doesn't say who she is when I ask."  He walked back to the bathroom and tapped on the door.  "Xander, the woman from that picture you won't explain just pulled up."  He groaned through the door.  "Should we hide?"

"No.  Dawn's fine.  She's a lot like me."  He opened the door and walked out, wearing a towel and one around his shoulders.  He looked out the door, noticing she was heading for Willow.  "I should probably stop her from killing Wills, but I don't think I could."

"Let me," Lupin told him, heading out to talk the girl down before they got the cops up there.  He stopped her before she could walk onto the platform.  "Would you come talk with me?" he asked.  "Xander said so."

She smirked at him.  "I saw him in the doorway.  I have to do this first.  It's time.  She's earned it."  She got free.  "Then we'll chat.  Don't worry about it."  She walked up to the crying woman and pulled a case out of her back pocket.  She opened the quiet zipper and pulled out something, sticking it brutally in the woman's back.  "There, now I'm done."  She walked back to him and waved a hand.  "Come on, before he panics.  Again."  She led the way to the cabin, smirking at Jigen.  "You're his new boss.  You must be good, Xander likes you a lot from his postcards."

Jigen nodded.  "Thanks.  And you are?"

"Dawn.  I'm the one who supports him."  She looked at Lupin.  Then at Jigen again.  "I'm like Fujiko for you guys to him.  The sparring partner and comrade when it suits me.  Without the backstabbing."

"How did you know?" Lupin asked.

"Easy, your pictures' on the tv all day and night.  Just yours.  With a rundown of your group.  Apparently they think you caused that one guy to go insane and hurt himself."

"Quite possibly," Jigen agreed, smirking at Lupin.  "Pops?"

"Probably," Lupin agreed.  Xander came out of the bathroom already dressed.  "You're bleeding."

Xander stopped and looked at Dawn, then slowly hugged her.  "Hey."

"Hey."  She pulled back to look at him.  "She's unconscious.  She's also pregnant with a future Slayer."

"Huh."  He smirked.  "Good.  Hopefully the kid will be better than some of them."

"Including my sister."  She stepped closer and gave him a real hug.  "I've missed you, Xan.  We'll be okay now."

"We won't be okay while they're alive," Xander reminded her quietly.  He pulled back, looking down at her leather outfit.  It was navy blue, form fitting, and basically a two-piece catsuit.  "I see you've gotten better."

"Yeah, it's amazing what happens when you get decent medical care because people make you miscarry."  She smirked at him.  "Where are you heading after this?"

"Wesley."

"Cool.  Can I come?"

"This is single person revenge, Dawnie.  Not for a pair."

"Let her go," Jigen told him.  Both young people looked at him.  "Seriously.  I want to see if you two can work together.  Xander, you'll never make it alone.  Even if she's only there part of the time, she'll still need to train to work with you."

"Yeah, because we haven't fought beside each other since I was sixteen," Dawn told him dryly.  "Welcome to my town.  I was created here and made human."  Jigen looked stunned.  "Trust me, I've got Xan's back whenever he needs it.  I was on my way to break you guys out myself but your buddy got there first."  She looked at Xander again.  His eyes were dead.  "Fine, I'll stay," she sighed.  He patted the back of her head.  "If you'll let me look at your shoulder.  He's right, it's bleeding."

"It happens sometimes," he admitted with a small shrug.

"Good, then it won't hurt when I look at it or heal it again," she said firmly.  "Strip, danger-boy.  Now."

"Yes, Dawn," he said, sitting down at the table so she could look at his shoulders.

Lupin looked at the scarring, frowning.  "What caused that?"

"Bastinado," Dawn said simply.  "Small whip, used repeatedly for weeks on end."

Xander looked up at her.  "That was my lower back, Dawn, the scars were tanned off.  That was the flaying thing."

"Oh, that thing.  Sorry."  She shrugged as she looked at the old guys again.  "Sorry.  It was something that wanted to remove the skin from his back.  My sister was not happy that he survived since he was now supposedly tainted by what she had let happen."

"How is Buffy?"

"Dying in a loveless marriage to a twat who drinks too much.  He shares the job with her but he hates it.  He's like an edgy Riley."

"It's a duty, not a privilege."

"Yeah," she agreed, picking up the liquor to pour over the wound.  He hissed.  "Still clean.  Good job."  She laid a hand over the wet skin, it helped increase the contact between their two dry skins, and concentrated.  Slowly the wound healed, making him relax.  "I can remove it all, Xan, all you have to do is ask," she reminded him gently.

"No, not yet," he told her.  She nodded, removing her hand so she could lick it clean. "Thanks, Dawn."  He turned and pulled her into his lap to hold.  "You're nice."

"You need to finish sleeping," she told him.  They burst out in giggles.  It was an old play argument between them.

Jigen cleared his throat.  "We're going to Japan first, then we'll go to England, Xander.  Dawn, you're coming as well unless you've got something pressing."

"There are things that we know which can help you travel around and do your chosen work," Lupin agreed.  If Jigen had decided these were their heirs, then he'd turn over what he knew to them.  "He'll still be alive in a year."

"Considering he was made immortal in the deal to save the world, yeah, he will," Xander agreed.  "I'll have to find him again.  The Watchers like to hide him now and then."

"Well," Dawn admitted.  "A lot of them blew up recently."  She looked at Lupin.  "Did you really rob the Smithsonian?"

"Only to get them better funding," he admitted with a smile.  "It worked.  Do you guys steal stuff?"

"Now and then," Xander admitted.  "I've been learning but I seem to suck at it."

"I do all the time," Dawn said, holding out her hand.  "Dawn Isabelle Summers," she introduced.  Lupin smiled because he *knew* that name. "Xander's my best friend, first crush, and the only person who saw me as a human being, no matter how I started out."

"We met your sister once," Jigen admitted.  "That's how we know about some of this stuff."

"Yeah, she mentioned a guy with a hat and one who stared at her tits.  Should I take the jacket off so you can see them better?" she asked Lupin.

He laughed.  "Sorry.  It's genetic."

"Ehh, they're nice but I've seen nicer," Xander teased.  He heard something outside.  "Okay, I don't know who that could be."

Dawn looked out there, then sighed.  "That's Gunn's son.  He's been following me around begging.  Him and Wes's son."  Xander frowned at her.  "What? I lost them in LA.  They must have figured out I'd go after Willow."  She opened the door.  "Fuckwads, leave," she called.  They got out of the truck and looked at her. "I mean it."

"Yay," the dark-skinned man said, moving toward her.  "You know I'm gonna protect you."

She snorted.  "You're a little kid, David.  Go home.  Your dad will hate you if you do things like I do."

"He kicked me out last night anyway," he admitted, giving her a careful hug.  You were always careful with Dawn.  "How are you?"

"Fine.  Rosenburg's now pregnant with a future Slayer.  Let's see how she likes her repentance the second time around."  She looked over the guy's shoulder at the other man.  "Morning."

"Can I help kill my father?" he asked in a stiff British accent.

Dawn pulled back and looked him over.  "Why?  Did he give you away too?"  The boy swallowed and turned pale.  "What did he do, Marcus?"  The boy whimpered and she grabbed him, pulling him closer.  "Xander!  Wesley struck again, his own son!" she shouted.  Xander came out and grabbed the boy, helping him onto the ground.  "Let me check him for spells," she noted, kneeling beside him.  She saw a small face in the cabin beside theirs and glared.  The little girl went back to her reading and homework.  "Okay.  I don't know what this is.  He's possessed," she said after she checked him over.

"Holy water.  Sea salt.  I've got the spell memorized," Xander offered.

"Deal," David agreed.  "We came stocked.  There's no way I'm gonna go out like my dad with only a stake every night."  He nodded at the two older guys.  "Dawn's the only one who could help him."

"Wonderful," Dawn agreed.  "What is that?"  She laid a hand over Marcus' forehead, pushing the dark hair out of the way.  "Stupid Cordy tendencies," she muttered.  She started to say something over and over, letting Xander handle the other stuff.  She suddenly looked up.  "Why would he had put a demonic warrior in him?"

"The world needs a knight," Xander reminded her.  "The main three have died or passed on."

"I forgot," Dawn admitted, looking down again.  "Even if I clear him, he'll have memories, David.  What did he want?"

"To be freer.  He said it's a useful person in there but that's all he knew."  He shifted nervously, glancing again at the old guys.  "What do they know?"

"Nothing much," Xander admitted.  "The one with hat is my mentor, the other was his boss and is his best friend.   He came to rescue us from the LA county jail."  He handed over the vial of holy water he had found in the truck.  "Try to merge them, like we did with mine."

Dawn nodded and started to chant in a different key. The words were similar but they had a lilt to them now, something musical underlying it.  The man on the ground groaned but Xander held him down by leaning on his chest.  Dawn drew on his forehead with the holy water, making Marcus groan again.  Suddenly, Marcus lurched up and screamed.  Then he panted and laid back down, looking at Dawn.  "You okay?" she asked gently, stroking his forehead again.

"Fine," he agreed.  "I feared you couldn't free me."  He looked at Xander.  "I'm coming with you when you're free from your training."

"I've got a nice house waiting for all of us," Lupin ordered.  "We'll figure that out there.  How long do we have before that redhead wakes?"

"Maybe a few hours," Dawn told her.  "She'll be out of it for the rest of the day."  She stood up, dusting off her knees.  "Why should we follow you?"

"Because my teacher trusts him, and I trust Jigen," Xander told her.  "You don't have to come if you don't want to."  He touched Marcus' face.  "You need to go.  He knows people who can tell you how to get it together again."  Marcus smiled and nodded.  "Good boy.  David, this is an irreversible step," he warned.  He stood up and helped Marcus stand up.

"Xander, you're bleeding again," Jigen noted.

"Every time we do magic around him it happens," Dawn told him, shrugging at his shocked look.  "Magic was used to torture him.  His body reacts to it differently now.  He can use it without any consequences but he won't train."

"I don't want the curse," Xander told her.  He helped Marcus into the cabin, sitting him on the couch.  "You rest."

"Got anything to drink?" David asked.

"Look in the fridge.  I bought soda," Xander told him.  He looked at Dawn, seeing the tiredness in her eyes as well.  "Sit.  Now," he ordered.  She sat, curling up against Marcus' side.  David shared a glass of soda with her, leaning against her other side. "Guys, this isn't a game.  Dawn and I play in the leagues that you guys can't understand yet.  There are things that you have no idea about."

"Xander, I know you killed Cordy," Marcus told him.  "She deserved it.  She had the vision and didn't tell anyone.  It may have allowed her spirit to ascend but we know you got her body."

"I always figured it was turn-around for what I did to Angelus," Xander told him.

"No, he needed that," Dawn said firmly.  "I've talked to the Powers myself and they said it was his due at that time.  He had broken their laws and slipped off the bandwagon of redemption.  He hadn't needed to go and stalk everyone or help bring the Judge to that mall.  They said he deserved what he got, you were the instrument of their wills to make him get back on the right track."

Xander hung his head.  "Thank you, Dawn."

"Welcome.  After all, you're my buddy, Xander."  She reached over and pinched him.  "Go clean that thing off.  I'll heal it later."

"That's fine, it doesn't hurt this time."  He shifted some.  "David, your father is one of the last white knights left on the planet.  If you follow us anywhere he'll have to hunt you some day.  Even if you don't get turned, he'll feel it's his duty to hunt you and stop you."

"Maybe but it's my choice.  I've seen what he hunts and I don't want to go that route.  Besides, you've said yourself, I'm a natural thief.  I'm good at scaling walls and all that stuff."

"True," Xander admitted.  He looked at the older adults for help.  How could he discourage them?

"They're coming and then they can make their own choices," Lupin told him.  "They're adults."

"David's only seventeen," Xander corrected.

"Oh, speaking of seventeen," Dawn said, getting up and walking out to her bike.  She came back and handed over a metal box.  "I stopped in LA and got that for you.  Willow had been checking on how to get it free from you so it couldn't get out."

Xander took the key off the table, opening the lockbox.  He slumped. "Thanks, Dawn."

"You're welcome."  She shoved the boys apart and sat down again, demurely crossing her legs.  "When do we leave, boss?" she asked Lupin.  "I figure I can learn something off you if you're offering.  I've been self-taught so far."

"We'll leave tonight," Lupin told her.  "Jigen, call the airport and make reservations.  Dawn, your bike?"

"I'll pay to have it shipped," she told him.  "I'm not leaving it.  It's the last reminder I carry of my life physically."

He nodded, understanding that.  "Fine.  Jigen, Japan or France?"

"I'd rather go to France.  It's warmer there right now," Jigen offered.  He picked up Lupin's cellphone and called the number in his phonebook. "Hey, it's Jigen.  Lupin said we need picked up near Sunnydale."

"LA has the nearest airport."

"There's a private airstrip fifty miles up the road," Dawn told him.  "They fly crop dusters for the forest service and offer flying lessons.  I was thinking it'd be handy to know how."

"It would and I know someone who can teach you," Lupin promised.  She reminded him of a young Fujiko, only less slutty.  More dangerous, but using her body less as a weapon. "Did anyone need to pack anything?"  They all shook their heads.  "How long, Jigen?"

"Six hours.  He'll meet us at Fairfax Field in six hours with the private plane."  He looked at Dawn.  "That means your bike can go."

"Thanks."  She stood up, handing off the glass of soda.  "I hate to impose, but food?"

"We've got us-age food and real people food," Xander offered.  "I can cook the real people food."  He looked outside.  "Did she actually bring her daughter?"

"She's been doing it on her own for four years," Dawn reminded him.  "The girl can cook."

"Still," Xander said grimly.  He looked at the freezer, then sighed and pulled out a pizza, sticking it into the oven.  "I can't let a kid starve all day because her mother's a bitch."  He stood there glaring at it, arms crossed over his chest.

Dawn came over and moved him out of the way, looking inside the freezer. "Hey, hot pockets."  The boys rushed over to grab them, stuffing them into the microwave together.  Xander pulled out a clean pan and started on real food for the adults, knowing they wouldn't want to eat fast food.   When the pizza was done, Xander pulled it out and cut it into slices, then placed it onto the cardboard it had come on.  He walked out, heading next door.  He knocked gently, smiling at the little girl. "Your mother's going to be over there for a while, Tara," he said quietly.  "This way you don't get burned from the stove."

"I can cook," she defended.

"Yeah, it's something you shouldn't be able to do at your age," he told her, giving her a pat on the head.  "Tell your mommy I said to live well and long, because I never want to see her again.  You, you're precious enough to love for eternity."  She grinned at him.  "You behave and stay inside today, read a lot of fun books instead of the serious stuff.  If you get scared, we'll be here for a few more hours."

"Yes, Uncle Xander," she told him.  He looked surprised.  "I asked my mother why she cried over your photo.  She told me she had done bad stuff with you in her youth."

"No, sweetheart, when we were young we were both good guys.  When it's your turn, you'll understand."  He gave her cheek a caress.  "You behave.  I'll check up on you when I can."  He walked away before he broke down and cried.  Dawn had made all of Willow's pregnancies potential slayers but only this one had been born so far and she was too nice to do the duty.  He walked in and looked at Dawn, who sighed.  "She won't last."

"She will," she told him. "Giles is taking her next month.  He's already filing custody papers against Willow."  She lifted her chin.  "She'll last if she's called.  This new one is someone's, no one's sure whose."  Xander nodded.  "She'll be fine, Xan.  I promise.  Even if I have to make it so."

"Fine.  Thank you, Dawn."

"Hey, I like Little Tara.  She is like her namesake.  She had no business in this crap, but she is her mother's punishment.  So said the Powers."  Xander slumped but he understood it.  "Sit and eat, Xan.  You look tired."

"I'm fine," he promised.

"Hey, Lupin, you've got a voicemail," Jigen called, holding up the phone.

Lupin took his phone, dialing the access code to his inbox.  He smiled at the message, then hit a memory dial, walking outside to get away from the kids.  "We're heading to France.  Join us," he ordered.  "Jigen's apprentice just got helpers."  He smirked. "Actually, I think you'd be a lot of help.  We had to unpossess one earlier.  He had a demonic warrior put into him. He's presently giving his hands an amazed look as they chop things precisely and quickly."  He laughed.  "I don't know.  No, you'll like the female too.  Very strong.  Thief.  Dawn Summers."  He burst out in giggles.  "No, I'm not kidding.  Really?  I'd never heard the first name."  He looked in the house.  "I'll tell her.  Thanks."  He hung up as he walked back inside.  "Dawn, where did you put the samurai sword you stole a few years back?"

"It's back at my place," she admitted.  "Why?  The appraiser said it was old but not too special.  Not at all like the guy's katana."  She licked something off her thumb.  "Did he want it back?"

"Yes, he did.  He'll be meeting us in France."

She sighed and stood up.  "Guys, come help me pack my goodies," she ordered.  She slit her thumb with the knife she took off Marcus, then let it drip in a small circle on the floor.  A portal opened, stunning the older men.

"Showoff," Xander said fondly, grinning at her.  "You've got ten minutes if you want real people food."  The boys ran through once the portal was open, helping her by going through her underwear drawer.

"She stole that from him?" Jigen asked. Lupin grinned and nodded.  "Wonderful.  I'll let her hand it back."

"He asked us to take charge of it.  It is his great-however-many-times grandfather's secondary weapon."

"Fine," Jigen sighed, shaking his head.  He tipped his hat down over his eyes.  "Xander, what sort of real food?"

"Beef with bell peppers.  And we still need plates," he called loudly enough for Dawn to hear him.  David came back with plates, dropping them onto the table.  Then he went back for Dawn's three trunks.  They came back and were set out of the way.

Dawn brought a large wooden chest and the short sword.  "Here.  A host's gift from all of us," she told him, holding them both out to him.

Lupin took the box, looking inside.  Then he looked at Dawn.  "That was you?"  She grinned and nodded, laying the sword on the table so she could help Xander.  Lupin handed the box to Jigen.  "Here, hold this."  He pulled the sword to look at it.  "Still in pristine condition."

"I only chopped a brick with it," Dawn told him, not looking at him.  "It's been out of the sheath four times now, including you."

"Thank you."  He carefully put it back inside, then attached it to his belt.  Goemon would be very happy to get this back.  He had been angsting over it for over a year.  Though it had been what had brought him and Fujiko closer together.  They still made him stop and shake his head.  How did those two stand each other?

"They found a mutual like of him beating her ass," Jigen reminded his boss, not having to ask why he was shaking his head.  He patted the box.  "The Met job?"  Lupin nodded.  "Good job, Dawn."

"Thanks.  I've got four standard entrances I use in there, and a fifth for variety's sake.  You'd think they'd get better security sometime," she said softly.  Xander nudged her.  "You, keep your elbows to yourself.  I'm not sleeping with you again."  His mouth fell open.  "You don't remember?"

"I remember waking up in the hospital, you acrobatic little bat!" he retorted, throwing a piece of bell pepper at her head.  "Nasty tease!"

She cackled.  "Why, thank you," she said proudly. "Just think, Buffy taught me everything I know about teasing men."

Xander snickered.  "You should write and tell her that some day."

"I did, I told her when we ran into each other last time. Her face fell and she gave me that 'mom' look again, then she sighed and stomped off.  She thinks I've let our mom down."

"Why?  Joyce would be disappointed that you're stealing for a living, but she'd be proud that you managed to do it without any man's help most of the time.  Joyce was a lot more hip than most people gave her credit for.  Her like for the nasty blond vampire proves it."

"I forgot she used to lust after the blond skank.  Like mother like natural daughter?" she suggested.  Xander giggled so hard he had to lean against her side.  David pinched her leather-clad ass.  "You, stop it," she said, slugging him and knocking him out.  "No one touches my ass without my direct permission.  Never again," she warned his unconscious body.

"Don't worry, we'll fix that for him too," Lupin agreed, sitting down to watch the kids cater to them.  "Xander, noodles?"

"I forgot to get any.  We've got pasta."

"Not really the same but I guess we can deal," Lupin admitted.  Dawn put them on to cook.  "Thanks."  He smiled at them.  The next generation was in odd, but very good hands.

***

Lupin looked at his house and sighed in pleasure.  His favorite bed was in there.  No more lumpy beds.  He opened the door.  "In you go," he ordered, letting them go inside.  "We're back, come meet the new students," he shouted.   Someone upstairs groaned and another one squealed.  "Stop that" he shouted.  "I don't need to hear that!"

"We're not doing that, you pervert!" Fujiko yelled, coming down the stairs.  "Students?"

"Students.  Jigen's apprentice picked up his crew.  They're interesting.  Let's see."  He looked at the kids.  "We've got one Miss Dawn Isabelle Summers.  She very nicely gave us the stuff she heisted from the Met as a hosting gift.  We have one Mr. David Gunn.  His dad's a fighter and he shares those traits, but he's also a very physical guy who climbs anything and everything for fun.  He's so disgusted with the side of good that he begged to come with Xander.  We have one Marcus Wyndam-Pryce, who was recently possessed by a demonic warrior spirit.  It's still partially in there, only joined with him now.  He's been amazing himself all day.  Earlier he was juggling Dawn's daggers.  Then we have one Xander Lavelle Harris.  Jigen's apprentice and dead shot."  Xander bowed.  "This is Fujiko.  She's to us what Dawn appears to be to you."

"Only a little less friendly," Jigen noted as he walked in.  "Dawn, did you have to pack everything?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "If I hadn't then Angel was going to break in and steal everything, he said so on my machine.  Only one of those is clothes.  The rest is stuff I haven't gotten around to fencing yet."  She smiled at Fujiko, holding out a hand.  "You're nearly notorious.  I look forward to learning something from you."

"You took something off my husband," she noted.

"It's on my belt," Lupin assured her.  "Where is he?"

"Calming down.  He was having a little tantrum earlier," she admitted.

"Woman," Goemon bellowed.

"And he's handcuffed to the bed," she admitted.

Lupin sighed and waved Dawn over.  "Come on, you can give it back to him."  He put his arm around her shoulders.  "We'll have to see if your clothes are appropriate to down times."

"Why, I dress like this all the time," she told him.  "It covers the scars and the former bite marks."

"Fujiko used to wear horribly teasing shirts back in the day."

"That was before gravity took effect?" Xander asked her.  Jigen snorted, heading into the study to get out of the crossfire.

Fujiko glared at him.  "Don't pick up your teacher's bad habits.  I like him."

Xander grinned.  "Don't worry about it.  If you don't like me then I'll have to go find my stalker and have her convince you that you like me."

"Xander, do not bring Anya here," Jigen yelled from the study.  "No demonic whores."

"I can banish her," Marcus offered.  "It'd keep her from coming back for at least another six months."

"I haven't seen her in nearly a year," Xander admitted.  "I told her I wanted Angel babbling in fear for my thirtieth birthday."

"You don't look thirty," Fujiko told him.

"Yeah, well, let's just say that I spent almost a year not aging and I'm *nearly* thirty," he told her.  "If you hear the nightmares, you'll know why."  He followed his master, giving him a look.  "Will I want to hurt her?"

"Probably, but we promised not to kill her before her time was up," he noted, handing over a drink.  "Here, you look like you need it.  Crown Royal."

"Thanks."  Xander slugged back the drink then shivered.  "Okay, I'm better now."  He put the glass down.  "Do I have to wash it?"

"No.  The housekeeper does that."  He patted the boy on the back.  "I've got a range downstairs, we'll work on your injuring and precision work while we're here.  By the time I'm done with you, you'll be able to shoot tires during a high speed chase or out the window and kill the driver."  He nearly had it already but not quite.

"Cool," Xander agreed with a grin.  "Can we go out and practice on the real streets?  Maybe tease some cops?"

"Not until I'm sure you can do the job, kid," Jigen assured him, giving him a pat on the shoulder.  The door to the study opened and he turned the boy around.  "That's Goemon.  He's the other third of the crew.  Did you meet everyone else?"

"Dawn introduced me."  He bowed to Xander, who looked really nervous.  "I don't bite."

"Yeah, but I'm not good with manners," Xander admitted.  He shook the guy's hand.  "I didn't exactly grow up in a socially capable and climbing family."

"Then let Lupin teach you.  He has impeccable manners when he wants to," Goemon told him.  Xander nodded.  "How are your skills?"

"With which weapon?" he asked.  "With a crossbow, a gun, or a rifle of any sort I'm excellent.  With a sword I'm okay enough but I'm in the hack and slash class right now.  I tried to learn in my youth but my friends weren't exactly supporting of that idea.  They said it wasn't my place in the group.  With bolos and other more archaic weapons I'm pretty good.   I learned staff a long time ago to help Buffy practice.  I don't brawl very well either but I try.  Baseball bats are still one of my favorite weapons for street brawls."

Goemon nodded.  "Good.  Marcus will need someone in his own class to practice with while I supervise.  That would be fine with you?" he asked Jigen.

Jigen shrugged.  "I leave that up to him.  I only help him with the shooting stuff."

"And keep me calm and centered, plus help temper my naughtier instincts and all that good stuff," Xander reminded him.  "Oh, um, fair warning, do not grab Dawn.  Ever.  She reacts badly to that.  Even when you grab her arm and she's expecting it she'll react badly and try to knock your head off.  She might even succeed one of these days.  She nearly killed me once and she got David earlier."

Goemon nodded. "I'll be cautious with her for now.  At least until we get used to each other.  She is a very good thief."

"And then some," Jigen told him.  "You should see the host's gifts she gave us.  The Met job."

Goemon looked impressed.  "Good.  I'm sure she and Fujiko will bond over shopping for naughty clothes."

Xander snorted.  "No, Dawn's a leather girl.  Cleavage is better hinted at for her than shown."  He smiled as Dawn joined them.  "Hey.  Having fun already?"

"His wife just suggested I lower my zipper," she said.

Xander shook his head.  "Only if you can cover that bite mark and the knife scar."

"I showed her, she gave me this destroyed look.  So I showed her my favorite outfit.  She's impressed again.  I manage seductive without being trashy."  She smiled at Goemon.  "Can you teach me how to use the sword I have in my stuff?  I'm used to short swords and this one is longer.  Lupin said to ask you.  Also, I'm a third-dan black belt in Judo."

He nodded. "Interesting.  We'll work that out tomorrow.  Tonight you should rest.  The time difference must be stressing your body."

"Yeah, because we get to bed before ten," she said with a grin.  "Xander and I both grew up doing patrols most of the night then going to school the next morning.  Sleep is one of those nice things you get once or twice a month."

"I get about four hours a day," Xander corrected.  "Usually not until two in the morning."  He checked his watch.  "Which isn't for another three hours."  He looked at Jigen.  "Are you tired?"

"Not yet.  Let's go work on the range.  Dawn, do you shoot?"

"Yeah," she agreed.  "Not really great, but I can shoot.  I'd appreciate someone figuring out what I'm doing wrong.  Buffy said it was the switch from crossbow to guns when we had to switch during that mass invasion of undead."  She followed them out.

Goemon raised an eyebrow.  "Undead?"  He walked out, finding Lupin instructing his housekeeper.  "Undead?"

"Remember Buffy?"  The samurai nodded. "That's Dawn's big sister.  Xander's former friend.  Marcus' godmother.  She turned on all of them over the years."

"Ah."  Goemon nodded.  "I understand.  They're down in the range.  I'll be instructing them in the morning.  At a decent hour," he promised at the frown from his friend.  "They're not ready for hard training yet."

"I think you'll find they've been training for years," Lupin told him.  "It's getting so I don't know what was combat training and what isn't."  He looked toward the range as Dawn squealed.  "Either David nailed her again or she just fixed the problem she was complaining about earlier.  Everything all right?" he called.

"Fine," Xander called back.  "David's unconscious again.  She nailed Jigen too by accident because he didn't move fast enough.  She's in the corner."

Lupin sighed as he headed that way.  Jigen was shaking his head and Dawn was handcuffed in the corner.  "What happened?" he asked patiently.

"He didn't get out of the way fast enough," Xander said with a shrug.  "David knows better but he's a persistent shit most of the time."

"That seems familiar," Goemon said dryly.  Lupin smirked at him.  "Yes, of you."  He helped Jigen up.  "Are you all right?"

"Fine.  She hits really hard for a girl.  Like a pro boxer."

"I hang out with tough chicks," Dawn said miserably.  "I'm sorry."

"It's all right, kid.  Next time, I'll duck faster.  You swing really wide."  He helped her up and uncuffed her, handing her the gun.  "At the target, not at David.  No matter how tempting it is."  He looked at his comrades.  "It fricken' us the next generation, with slight differences."

Lupin laughed.  "The future of crime is in good hands then.  By the time we all have real heirs, these guys will be able to help teach them."

Goemon laughed.  "True.  Dawn, adjust your stance, your back is too tight."

"Sorry, I'm used to hand-to-hand and crossbows.  Using a gun isn't exactly the slayer way."  She relaxed by force of habit and tried it again.

Jigen nodded.  "I can fix that.  Your aim is off.  It's all in how you're looking down the barrel."  He looked at the other men.  "What else is going on tomorrow?"

"I'll be evaluating them later in the morning," Goemon announced.  "Have them all there at ten."  Jigen nodded.  "Then Lupin can have them for whatever he wants."

"I want to do some physical testing with them.  See who has the skills to break and enter.  Also the skills to pull off a plan."

"Xander plans," Dawn told him.  "I even go to him for plans.  He does battle plans best though."  She shot another shot and pouted.  "I'll never get this."

"Of course you will," Xander promised, giving her a grin.  "It's not hard.  I'm gonna shoot now, fair warning," he warned.  His boss got jumpy if he didn't warn him sometimes.  He squeezed off the clip accurately, taking out the center three inches of the heart.  There was no paper left in that area.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "Now I know why you picked him."

"Yeah, 'cause I ran in, saved his life, then helped him up and took him with me," Xander said dryly.  "He didn't tell me I was being taken on as a student until a week later when he wouldn't let me leave."

"I thought you were auditioning."

Goemon shook his head.  "He was running for his life.  It is in his voice."  Xander nodded, reloading the gun and hitting the paper target in the head.

"In the arm or the legs," Jigen ordered.  "Wounding but not killing.  Nothing near an artery."

Xander sighed and reloaded, doing another one in the main wounding areas.  He missed one shot completely and got one graze beyond that.

"Nice job, Xan," Dawn praised.  "You so kick ass at this art."

"Yeah, I've had practice," Xander said happily.  He looked at his boss.  "Okay, so what am I doing wrong?"

"You're fighting your mind.  Sometimes a wound is better than a kill," Goemon instructed.  "Killing is a waste of skill. Wounding with clear intent is much more skillful.  Right now, you are at the top of the lower level.  To reach your mentor's level, you'll have to learn the right mental attitude."  He looked at Dawn.  "You, relax."  He walked out, going to find his new apprentice.

Jigen nudged Xander.  "He says shit like that to irritate us," he shared.

Lupin laughed.  "Sometimes I think so," he agreed.  He walked closer to Dawn, correcting her stance for her.  "Now try it," he said gently, steadying her arm.  She fired and it was better.  "Is that comfortable?"

"No, this whole two-handed thing sucks.  I feel like I'm squeezing my chest."

"You are," Jigen told her.  "Try it one-handed.  You need to practice that too, Xander."

"Yes, sir," Xander said obediently.  They fired off shots with each hand, missing less this time but it still wasn't perfect.  Xander waved his wrist.  "That makes me ache."

"There are exercises for that," Lupin promised.  He patted Dawn on the back, making her moan.  "Good job.  You okay?"

"Fine, just sore."  She smiled at him.  "Thanks."

"You're welcome."   He let himself out, leaving them to Jigen.  He would check the girl's back for the gash he could feel through her leather.  He would also be finding her a lighter weapon, that would help her wrist strain more than exercises would.

Jigen pulled her collar back, looking down her back.  "What did that?"

"Vampire last night.  I'm fine," she said firmly.

He swatted her across the back of the head.  "You are to take care of yourself.  If that gets infected you can't do what you love anymore.  Didn't anyone in your group take care of you two?"

"No," they said in unison.

Xander looked at Dawn. "Didn't Willow used to bandage us after Buffy was taken care of?"

"Sometimes," Dawn admitted.  "Hardly ever in my case.  I think your bandaging stopped after graduation."

"Yeah, I did bandage my own ribs and the graze to my stomach that night," he agreed, looking at Jigen.  "You mean people are supposed to take care of that stuff for you?  I've been putting on my own Band-Aids since I knew what the box was for."

"Mom did mine but Buffy never really did," Dawn admitted.  "She's changed since the town imploded.  Before that I wasn't allowed to patrol."  Xander nodded.  "And he bandaged me or Tara did when I messed up and got hurt before the apocalypse."

Jigen groaned.  "Okay, first lesson.  Your crew is like your family.  You have to trust them to get your back, bandage the bad wounds, and to help take care of each other.  That means your back, Xander's back, Marcus' problems.  All of it."

"We're stronger, it's been ingrained and trained into us that we take care of the weaker members," Xander told him.

"Yes, but everyone has a weakness," Jigen pointed out.  "That means that sometimes someone else has to be the stronger one and take care of you two."  They nodded, that made sense. "Good.  Now, Dawn, I'd like to fix that thing on your back for you.  You can fix Xander's again if you're fine to do it.  Then we'll check the other guys over."  Xander opened his mouth.  "Tough.  She's seen the worst that your skin has right now."

"No, she hasn't," Dawn told him.  "He's got scars I will never see on his thighs.  Even when I slept with him that once, right before my first theft, I didn't get to see his thighs.  The demon that had him did some really f-ed up things to his body.  Don't push Xander to show them off to anyone.  He'll run away."

"I haven't run in months," Xander told her.

"Really? Congrats.  It's a milestone."  She gave him a hug.  "Okay, enough mush, let's work some more on this.  My wrist is already numb."

"We'll set you both on the exercises.  The only thing that cures that is practice," Jigen assured her, patting her on the uninjured side of her back.  "Let's hit your rooms so you can clean up before you go to bed."  The kids nodded, putting their weapons back in their holsters.  "Dawn, what are you using?"

"A standard, cheap nine mil.  Xan?"

"Same thing," he admitted.

"Fine.  We get that ammo in bulk.  I wanted to make sure we would have enough because you both need work in here."  He led them up the stairs, finding the rooms with their names taped on the doors.  "In you go."  He left them there, going to join his family in the study.  "The future of crime is in very strong hands, but they're so hurt," he said as he walked in.

"Of course they are," Lupin agreed.  "Did you get her to let you look at her back?"  Jigen nodded.  "Good.  I think we should get a professional in here to check them all over.  Just in case."

"It might be handy but what would we say about Xander's scars?  Dawn said he's got ones that were worse than the things on his back."

Lupin shuddered.  "I don't even want to think about that.  We'll think of something, I always do."  He lifted his glass.  "A toast, to the students who are keeping our ways alive."

They all lifted their glasses. "To the students," they agreed, taking long drinks.  They'd probably need it to deal with the kids in the morning.  At least until they settled down.

"Hey, Lupin, soda," Jigen reminded him.  "You don't want to see Xander in withdrawal.  He gets violent."

"I'll have the housekeeper get some," he agreed.  The kids were neat, if odd.  "Why don't we all retire.  We'll probably want naps tomorrow if we don't."  They agreed and broke up, Lupin taking Xander's book up the stairs to read.  The boy had forgotten he had it, but he had agreed he could read it. Then maybe he could figure the boy out.  The Gods knew he was an odd little thing, all soft and mushy inside and tough outside.  He was like a chocolate M&M, only slightly melted and then refrozen. Halfway through the first chapter, he sat up, staring at the page.  Yeah, that explained a lot, he decided.  He would keep his promise, but it didn't mean Jigen couldn't accidentally find the book.  Someone knocked on his door and he got up, opening it to find Dawn.  "Did you need something?"

"Someone who's not Xander and who's not jailbait?" she asked with a small, seductive grin.  "Just the once?  I don't play for keeps, only for stress relief.  I work better with people I've slept with, it helps me build trust faster."

Lupin smiled and let her into his room.  He could accept those terms and he could pump her for information as well.

Cleveland

Xander walked off the plane, looking around the grungy airport and sighed.  Why were they here again?  He had no idea.  He turned, waiting out of the way for Dawn and his mentors.  They had been insistent that there was something around here worth stealing.  He heard a shrill voice coming from the departure gate across the hall from theirs and groaned.  "It never fails," he told himself.  "I get anywhere near my past, or their present locations, and we run into them."  He looked at Dawn as she came off the walkway, nodding that way. "Sound familiar?"

She glared in that direction, the Dawn Patented Look Of Death To My Sister.  "Whatever," she decided.  "We should leave."

"We should," he agreed.  "But I can guarantee that as soon as we move she'll spot one of us."  He heard the shrill voice getting louder and grabbed Dawn because Buffy was looking in their direction for some reason.  He pulled her closer, turning his back to Buffy and kissing Dawn for all he was worth.  He hoped it'd last long enough.  He really hoped it'd last long enough.  He heard a cleared throat and looked at the woman standing there.  "Shit," he said.  Dawn slapped him.  "Hey!"

"Dawn.  Xander," Buffy said dryly. "Why are you in my town?"

"I came to see my nephews," Dawn said cheerfully.  "You?"

"I live here."

"Huh, what a shock," Dawn said dryly.  She looked over as one of their teachers came off the plane.  "Finally.  Come on, Xan, let's go.  We can set up cameras later to catch pictures of the godchildren and nephews."  She led him off, following Lupin.  "You had to bring us here?  And what was that?"

"I was hoping she'd ignore us and just think it was her mind playing tricks on her," Xander defended.  She slapped him again.  "Ow!  Witch."

"Enough," Lupin said tiredly.  It had been a long flight.  Everyone else would be here later that night. He was stuck with these two alone.  "What's going on?"  He turned and found Buffy dragging her two-year-old son behind her.  "Hi," he said with a smile.

"You," she said, glaring at him.  "Where's the others?  Did they finally bail on you?"

Xander looked up and counted to ten in French.  He was good in that language now.  It had been nearly ten months and he was definitely sounding like a native.  Then he looked at Buffy.  "Did it ever occur to you that we might have actually come to see the kids?  After all, you and Willow aren't exactly up for Mom of the year."

"You stay away from us," Buffy hissed.

Xander looked over her shoulder as an officer walked up behind Buffy.  "She's threatening us," he said in his most convincing helpless voice.  "We used to be friends and we came in to visit the new town hall, and now she's threatening us.  Make her go away?" he pleaded.

Dawn patted his back.  "There, there, Xan, it'll be okay.  She won't kill you like she just said she would."  She glared at her sister.  "You, go away. If I wanted to see you, I'm perfectly capable of walking up to your door, kicking it in, and walking in to talk to my nephews."  She looked at the confused guard.  "She's my sister and she doesn't like the fact that we're together."  She wound her arm through Xander's.  "Come on, pookie, we'll go see the new city hall.  I know you're a big fan of the architectural style."  She turned and flounced off with him, all the way to the baggage claim.  She retrieved their bags, handing Xander his. "Why is this our luck?  You go to LA and run into Angel.  We come here and run into Mighty Mouth."  Lupin laughed as he walked over to them.  "I got one of yours, I haven't seen the other," she told him, brushing her sable hair over her shoulder.  "Did you cap her?  Or is that still my pleasure?"

"No, she'll live.  The guard is escorting her to get her bags and then out of the terminal.  He said if she didn't behave he'd have to arrest her.  Quick thinking," he said quietly, spotting his other bag and grabbing it.  "Now where?"

"Hotel?" Xander suggested.  "That way we can mine the hallway?"

Lupin gave him a look.  "That'd make it hard for everyone else to come in."

"Not really.  Goemon would come in off the balcony," Dawn told him, taking Xander's arm again as they left the airport.  The rental car had been reserved ahead of time so that wasn't a problem.  The drive into the city took nearly forever, but no Buffy.  Thankfully.  "Lupin, what are we doing tonight besides waiting?"

"I was going to scope the exhibit tomorrow.  Architecture?"

"Yeah, they had a world famous guy in to design the new town hall.  It's a good cover, it's officially opening this week.  It was all I could think of."

"That's fine.  It's a good enough cover.  Did you want to swing by and take pictures of the nephews?"

"Why?  I've got a camera set up in her house so I can do that whenever I want," Dawn said with a wicked grin.  "Do you think the others will have this much luck?"

"Hey, it wasn't Willow this time," Xander reminded her.  "Her magic's back online because it's been a few months since she gave birth.  It could have been much worse."

"Why were you two hanging around?" Lupin asked.

"We were waiting on you," they said in unison.

"Ah.  Sorry, kids."  He pulled off the interstate, heading to their hotel.  A nice place and they had gotten a nice suite in it.  "We all ready?"  They nodded.  "Good."  He let the valet take the car this time, taking their bags inside themselves.  "Ah, bonjour," he said, smiling happily.  "It is good to be off the plane, no?"

Their 'hostess', by her tag, smiled at him.  "I'm sure it is, sir," she said in a thick mid- western accent.  "Has the rest of your party not arrived yet?"

"Unfortunately not," Dawn said, affecting a New York accent.  "See, the planes got messed up and all that."  She fluffed out her hair.  "It's tough liaising and shit."

"Fortunately, I've never had to do that," the hostess said.  She checked her computer.  "All right, we've got you already checked in since your credit card was given with the reservations."  She made three key cards and handed them over.  "There are your door keys.  If you need any help, my name's Camille, and you can call me."

Xander raised his hand, using the same French accent, his spanish one sucked.  "Pardon, Coke?" he asked, making a drinking motion. Her face would probably be funny if she thought he was asking for cocaine, but Jigen would beat his ass.

"There are soda and snack machines on each floor near the elevators," she told him.  "Also, we have a small gift and candy shop here in the lobby near the bars.  Anything else?"

He shook his head.  "Merci.  Bon notte."  He led the way to the elevators.  The stewardess had cut off his coke habit after the third bottle. That had been right before they landed in England.

Lupin waited until they were on the elevator.  "We're going to have to break you of that habit."

"No, he's horrible," Dawn said, her eyes wide. "We do not take the Lavelle's caffeine."

"There are going to be times when he can't get any," Lupin pointed out, following them off the elevator and to the soda machines.  Xander stocked up for the night by buying a six pack.  "We're going to Turkey after this."

"Turkey has coffee," Xander pointed out, opening one can immediately and gulping.  "Better," he sighed.   He followed Lupin to their suite, finishing off the first can by the time he had the door open.  "Look, no more shakes," he said proudly, holding out a hand.

"I'll remember to bring caffeine pills from now on," Lupin told him, looking around the suite.  "All right, someone sweep for bugs, then we'll settle in."  He watched as Dawn pulled out the sweeper and walked around the rooms, sitting down on the couch.  "How are we doing rooms?  There's only five of them."

"It's the biggest suite in the city," Xander reminded him.

"I know, I wasn't criticizing, kid."  He gave him a pat on the arm.  The boy soaked up tactile contact, it made him want to hurt the guy's parents.  "We clear, Dawn?"

"We're kosher," she agreed, coming out of the last room.  She looked at the doors.  "Okay, I'll take a couch." Lupin looked at her.  "Sorry, I only sleep with anyone *once*."  She sat across from him.  "Because of what I am, there's a protection that can be placed over people that I'm intimate with.  It goes on the first time, and is returned the second."

"So the third it comes back?" Lupin asked.

She shook her head.  "It can't be put back on once it's gone.  Otherwise I'd ward our jinx there and we wouldn't have run into my sister."

"Yeah, it's my fault she was coming in from the funeral late," Xander told her.  He had gotten back two days before they had left, having been gone a week, and had slept for most of the two days once he had his assignments.  It hadn't been pretty, but Wesley had gotten payback for what had been done to him.  What the man had forced and allowed that demon to do to him.  Each and every thing.  Dawn looked at him.  "I'm fine."

"I'm sure you are," Lupin agreed.  He had read the paper and had made some deductions.  It was fine with him, the kid was more stable now it seemed like.  "Okay, are we set?"  They nodded.  "Dawn, you've got your orders?"  She nodded again.  "Good.  We'll go to the museum tomorrow.  We'll scope out the Vatican exhibit.  Xander and Jigen will retrieve the stuff.  Goemon and Fujiko will be with the boys and they'll be our backup.  Any questions?"

"I was wondering why we were stealing from the Vatican," Xander admitted.

"Because someone asked me to retrieve their family's artwork," Lupin said seriously.  "I hate the Nazi's.  We've run into them or their descendants and their hordes a number of times."  Xander nodded, accepting that.  "After this, we'll be going to Turkey to do a job just for us.  I'll sit you both down to work on the plans later this week."  They nodded again.  "Any other questions?"  Xander raised his hand.  "What?" he asked patiently.

Xander grinned.  "Do I get to call Pops Grandpa or something?  Since, I mean, we're the gang, second generation."

Lupin laughed.  "It'll confuse him to no end.  You might want to send him a letter taunting him first."

"Okay.  That'll make my day.  He whistled this really annoying song while he had us in LA.  Wouldn't even give us a word search; he told the guards we were too dangerous to be trusted with paper."

"Wow.  I thought Goemon was from the feudal era.  When did this guy stop progressing forward with history?  The dark ages?"

Lupin snickered.  "I'm sure he was pressing their buttons.  He knows Jigen prefers crosswords.  You do word searches?"

"And fill it ins," Xander agreed.  "I suck at crosswords."

"I'm sure he'll help you with that too," Dawn soothed.  "Okay, so I've got the couch.  That leaves?"

"Goemon and Fujiko get one room.  Jigen and I, or Jigen and Xander, get one.  The boys get one.  Whoever's not with Jigen gets one. That means you can have the last."

"Cool.  I pick the one next to the bathroom," she said, heading that way.  It had a single bed, a nice big one.

"Hey!" Xander complained.

"If you didn't drink so much, you wouldn't need to go every four hours," Dawn retorted, smirking at him as she disappeared into her room and locked the door behind her.  David was still being persistent and she'd have to keep the door locked.

Xander grimaced at the door.  "Girls are nasty.  That's why I'm bi," he announced.

Lupin snickered.  "I'm sure it is, Xander.  Buffy was enough to turn any man off women."  Xander grinned at him.  "Is she sexless or just not tolerant of males?"

"She prefers vampires and predators," Xander told him.  He shifted so he was looking at him.  "Let's see, there was: Angel, vampire, Spike, vampire, Riley, military predator of demons, Giles, predator.  There's been two other vampires that I know of but I don't know their names and then her present husband, who's not only a predator but a drunk and a verbal abuser."  He grinned.  "According to the paper, she had to have him arrested a few months back before she kicked his ass."

"The kids?"

"Are safe enough.  She can always send them to Giles or Willow.  Which she does often."

"Are you going to have any more vendetta jobs?"

Xander considered it.  "While I would like to kill Giles for allowing Wesley to offer me that way, Willow for not stepping in when I begged her for help and trying to kill me, and Buffy for announcing I was a tainted being and was therefore a good target, thereby sending Willow after me, I don't think they'd do any good as victims.  Wesley was necessary.  He's the one who gave me to the demon, forced him to take me and then allowed him to violate me while others watched my pain and suffering.  He deserved everything he got and then some.  I was gentle with him because I couldn't be that mean, I'm not really demonic.  Considered a consort by some of them, but not really demonic."

Lupin took a deep breath.  "I need to know what will happen if we run into Buffy again, Xander."

"She's safe enough," he promised. "She's not worth the agony I put myself through remembering."  He stood up.  "Any room you want?"

"No, that's all right.  Did you want Jigen or not?"  Xander shrugged.  "Then let's have you in the room next to Dawn and he can pick for himself.  I'll take the room next to you so I don't have to hear Fujiko going off and they can have the big room on that side with the other going to the boys."  Xander nodded, heading that way.  "I want you to be okay," he said, and Xander grinned back at him.  "I also want you to cut down on your caffeine intake."

"It soothes and settles my ADHD," Xander said lightly.  "It helps me focus.  Besides, I get violent in withdrawal."  He walked into his room and closed the door, not locking it.

Lupin laid down on the couch.  They had some time and he needed to think about the boy.  Was he stable now?  Could he continue to do the work now that his mission in life was over with?  Would he turn to the gun as a surrogate for pleasure?  That was the big one he wanted to know.  The people who got sexual pleasure from shooting someone scared him and he didn't want to be afraid of the boy.  Afraid for him, but not of him.  He heard something hit the outer door and stood up, heading that way.  He opened the door, taking the towels from the maid.  "Merci," he said, thanking her with a bright smile.  "We are mostly fine otherwise."  She nodded and left, letting him settle in.  He deposited the towels in the bathroom then went to unpack in his own room.  Maybe he'd take a little nap, they had a good four hours before the rest of them appeared, and that was if Fujiko and the boys weren't bumped to a later flight.

***

Jigen walked into the suite and looked around, then snorted.  "They're all asleep," he said as he headed for the bathroom.  He saw the empty cans of soda and counted.  Xander had three already?

"The stewardess must have cut Xander off on the plane," Fujiko noted, moving the cans to the trash before sitting on the couch.  "We're here."  Dawn came out of her room and looked at her.  "Which room's which?"

"Lupin said you and Goemon get the big room on the other side.  The boys get the one next to you so they can wank off as you two have sex.  Jigen can sleep with either Xander or Lupin, and the one he doesn't choose gets their own room."  She smirked at the blush the samurai was giving off.  "Sorry, did I embarrass you?" she teased.  She liked to tease him, he had the best responses.  It wasn't like Fujiko minded most of the time.

"I'd never pull off to someone else having sex," Marcus noted, looking quite embarrassed himself.  He cleared his throat and went into the room he would be sharing with David.  "We've got twin beds."

"Good, because you've got icy feet of death," David complained as he followed.  "I hate sleeping with you, Marc, you're a soul-sucking block of ice in the middle of the night."  They shut their door.

Jigen came out of the bathroom.  "Which room is mine?"

"That depends, did you want to hear Lupin snore or Xander?" she asked him.  He shrugged.  "They've got the other two rooms on this side.  Xander's next to you and Lupin's beside him."  She looked at Fujiko.  "You might want to nap.  Xander's been sleeping since we got in because he's wearing out the urge to kill my sister."  Jigen looked at her, and so did Goemon.  "She was coming in at the gate across from us.  We had to have the airport cops take her away."  She shrugged.  "It sucked.  We told her we're in town for the city hall opening."

Fujiko nodded.  "A good cover.  Xander had been a carpenter, of course he'd be interested in a neat new building by a famous designer.  What excuse did you give?"

"I wanted to see my nephews and get pictures."

"Also a good reason," Goemon agreed.  "I believe I'll retire now."

"Sure, have a good nap," Jigen agreed.  "Tomorrow will be a bit busier."  He walked into Xander's room and forced him to roll off his back to quit the loud snoring.  It was a double bed so he went next door.  Lupin had a queen.  "This sucks," he decided, heading out to the couch.  "Move."  Fujiko moved and he laid down with a sigh and a smile.  "Better.  I don't feel like sleeping with them.  Xander sucks in his sleep."

"Tell me about it, Lupin drools," she agreed, heading after her husband. He needed to calm down from his embarrassed point.  "Sorry, I'll talk with her again," she soothed, intending to do no such thing.  He was like a teenager and it was cute to her.

"Please," Goemon ordered.  "That is going a bit too far.  I would never do such things in here with others listening."

"Like they can't hear us at home?" she pointed out. "Or didn't Jigen get on you our second morning back?"  He grimaced and laid down, fully clothed.  "Strip, or you leave me no choice."  He groaned but stayed firm in his resolve, even after she took off her clothes and sashayed over to 'help' him out of his.  It really was her favorite game.

***

Lupin came out of his room, looking at the man napping on the couch.  "I would have shared," he told him, waking him up.

"You drool and Xander sucks," Jigen told him.  "I don't need either condition."  Besides, Xander would want to test his firm commitment to women, and he didn't want to deal with that. "I'm fine right here."  Someone knocked on the door.  "Who ordered out?"

"None of us," Lupin said, walking that way.  He looked outside, frowning as he opened the door.  "Oui?" he answered in flawless French.

"Sir, we had a report that there was a master thief among your party," the officer said, stepping inside.  "If we may see them?"

Lupin looked at the man, then shook his head.  "They are gone for now I think," he said in heavily accented English.  "Dinner."

"I see.  The hostess said that none of you had left."

"Who called it in?" Jigen asked, not moving.

"Some woman called in an anonymous tip, sir.  Said that the thief who hit the Met Museum in New York so many times was in town."

"Ah."  Jigen sat up, looking at the boy from under his hat.  When did the cops get so young?  "We have two women in our group, one of them's sister lives in town.  They had a run-in earlier and it was probably spite on her part.  I can assure you Deserre is not a thief.  Des, you up?" he called.

Dawn came out of her room.  "Yeah?"  She had on a red wig this time and she did look stunning with the waist-length hair.  "Did you need something?" she asked.

The officer looked at her, then shook his head.  "She doesn't fit the description at all.  I thank you for your patience, have a nice stay in our city."  He walked out, leaving them alone.  He also had a talk with the desk clerk.  She had said the girl was a brunette.  Maybe one of them was a wig?  The desk clerk told him the brunette was probably the wig, it seemed a little puffy to be real hair.

Dawn pulled off her wig and smoothed out the strands.  "I'm going to kill my sister.  Anyone object?"  Jigen shook his head, looking amused.  "Hey, Lavelle, you wanna go hurt my sister?"

"She's a waste of energy," Xander said as he walked out of his room.  He used Lavelle whenever he was on the job.  It helped him distinguish between the two.  "She won't even scream prettily."

"Shit," Dawn sighed, going back into her room to put the wig up.  She came out, holding up an outfit for Lupin's approval.  "I'll look like some yuppy school teacher," she pointed out when he nodded.  "I don't think I can pull that off."

"Of course you can," he said with a bright smile, putting an arm around her shoulders.  "Lots of people dress up to go to the museum.  Especially with important exhibits.  Besides, not everyone has your taste for silk, satin, and leather, my dear.  You being you would tip this off."

She sighed and nodded.  "Fine.  I'll wear the plaid skirt and button-up shirt.  Even though it is gross," she agreed.  "But I'm not wearing flats."

"Fine.  Wear whatever you like," he agreed, smirking at her back.  She might protest but she had the basics down.  Within a year the whole group could go on their own with only monitoring now and then from their retirement.  Lupin smirked at Jigen.

"Don't look at me, Xander knows everything I do."

Fujiko came out in a robe, making sure it was tied tightly.  "One more year?" she suggested.

"I think it might be for the best.  We'll see after this job and Turkey," Lupin agreed.  "That okay with you, Xander or Dawn?"

"Fine," Xander agreed.  "I'd get bored having to talk to the other three all the time."  He looked at his mentor.  "Are you staying with me?"

"And have to fight the hickeys?  No, thank you," Jigen said dryly.

"Cool.  Then I'll be back in about three hours.  After I've fixed an itch." Lupin stopped him and looked in his eyes.  "A hooker or three," he said quietly.  "That itch."  Lupin grimaced but let him go.  "It's not like I could stand David," he quipped before leaving.  He headed down on the elevator, stopping at the front desk.  Time for some mischief.  "Pardon, Camille," he said in accented english again.  She smiled and came over to talk to him.  "Belle homme?" he asked.  She looked confused so he outline an hourglass with his hands.  She blushed and handed over a pamphlet.  "Bon.  Merci."  He grinned happily and walked out to find himself a hooker or three.  They had been cooped up in France for *way* too long.  Six months without sex was four months over his limit and he was going to have to do something before he jumped Goemon.  Fujiko probably wouldn't mind, much.  He found the nearest pretty hooker and switched accents to a British one.  "Well," he said happily.  "Do you have a set rate?"  He liked how her skin was the color of lightened coffee.

She smirked as she moved closer, running her finger down his chest.  "That depends on what you want, sweetie.  What you into?"

He grinned.  "Anything you can give me.  Mostly, I'd like something...intense?"  She shrugged.  "I'm safe and I play safe."

"Fifty, plus the room," she said, nodding him back down the alley to her chosen flea motel room.  He gladly paid her because she was going to be good.  It had been much too long.

***

Fujiko looked at the clock, then at Jigen.  He didn't look worried in the least.  "Where is your apprentice?"

"He's probably on his third or fourth hooker," Jigen said quietly.  They were the only ones up.  He had gotten used to Xander's odd hours.  "Why?"

"He is?" she asked.  Jigen looked at her and nodded.  "Why?"

"Because it's been six months since he's had any," Jigen told her.  "He gets antsy after two.  This way, he'll be focused."

"Is this going to turn into a ritual for him?"

"Hardly," Jigen snorted.  "He's twenty-eight, Fujiko.  He's still got needs and no amount of self control will hide that."  The door opened and Xander walked in, his shirt partially unbuttoned, his lips swollen, and his eyes bright as he grinned.  "Feel better?"

"Much," he agreed, sinking onto the couch with a sigh of relief.  "So much better."  He shifted to get off his sore butt, laying down on his side. "Night.  You can have my room."  He closed his eyes and passed out.

Fujiko rolled her eyes.  "Wonderful.  Just what I needed to smell."

"Ah, leave the kid alone," Jigen said dryly.  "He's fine.  He'll sleep it off and shower around dawn or so."  He went into the free bedroom, taking the comfortable bed for himself.  Xander was always nice and respectful of him, even if he wasn't of Fujiko and Lupin most of the time.

Lupin came out of his room and looked at the boy, then shook his head and came over to take off the boy's shoes.  "Next time, don't waste your money on hitting most of the block, find one and do it all."

"Can't," Xander mumbled. "She wouldn't take me with a strap-on."  Fujiko blushed and headed back to her room.  Xander lifted his head, giving Lupin a bleary look.  "What?"

"You okay?"

"Peachy and dandy.  Thanks for the shoes and all."  He put his head back down and drifted off again, not totally having been awake.

Lupin shook his head.  Sometimes the boy reminded him of himself.  He went back to his room, ignoring the noise from across the sitting area.

"Do you mind?  Some of us need to sleep," Xander complained loudly a few minutes later.  "Next time, buy the woman a gag and appreciate the many uses!"

Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  Yeah, the boy could be like him, only without tact.  Fortunately, neither of the couple came out to argue with him, and neither did Jigen or Dawn.

***

Lupin, in his somewhat generic disguise, walked Dawn around the exhibit, taking stealthy pictures of everything they paused in front of.  Back at the hotel, someone was downloading them directly onto his computer, or was supposed to be, he'd have to make sure they did.  Xander sometimes didn't deal well with computers.  He called it his iron thumb days.  He paused in front of one of their targets, giving Dawn's arm a squeeze.   Then he shifted some of her red wig out of his way.  "That's very nice," he told her.

She tipped her head to the side.  "It's really dark, dad, but I kinda like it.  I mean, Christianity is very dark in a lot of ways.  The darkness of the oil paints does follow all the death they went through."  He looked at her.  "Give me the Celtic way any day," she said proudly.  He smiled at her.  "Come on, let's go see the pretty exhibit next door," she encouraged.

"Let me finish looking," he chastised.  She was so impatient.  He went to the last wall, finding their other target.  It was going to be harder to steal, it was in a glass box.  He'd have to think about that one.  Then he let Dawn lead him next door, into the Cartier exhibit.  He whistled.  "Don't you get any ideas, young lady.  I'll not be buying you anything like this.  Only husbands should do that."  Some of the nearby patrons smiled and a few laughed at that comment.

She walked around, pointing at one she *really* liked.  She was getting wet panties staring at it.  "If I ever find a husband, he's getting me something like that," she told him, pointing at the delicate emerald pendant.  It was done in filagree silver with a delicate chain, but the pendant shone with its own light.  To her magical senses, it was powerful.  She wrapped her arm around the boss' again and led him out.  "Come on, let's get some ice cream," she pleaded, giving him a look.  "I know I could use some and so could brother."

"I'm not feeding your brother sugar, he'll destroy our hotel room," Lupin said firmly.  He had learned that lesson all too well after a day-trip to Switzerland.  To be fair, Jigen had warned him.  He had never seen anyone vibrate like that before.  It was like the boy was high or something.  And reckless!  He had nearly crashed Dawn's motorcycle.  Fortunately, Dawn had stepped in and stolen the rest of his chocolate.  Her PMS had been the point of the shopping trip to the chocolate store.  He let her pick up a sundae from McDonalds and then they went back to the hotel.  Xander was staring out the window.  "No, we didn't bring you any," he said as soon as the door was closed.

Xander grinned at him.  "That's okay.  I don't want any right now."

"Please don't be sick," Dawn begged.  She took off her wig and sat down to eat her sundae.

"No, I had a candy bar with breakfast," he admitted.  "Small amounts spread out over time alleviate that sudden urge," he said smugly.  "Jigen did the computer thing for you.  I've been watching the dignitary check in.  It's nice, the Ambassador to Spain is up the hall and one flight up."  Lupin frowned.  "With Grandpa."

"Who?" Dawn asked, looking back at him.

"I asked if we got to call Pops grandpa since we're like the junior generation," Xander said, grinning at her.  "You're gonna drip that bite."  She quickly stuffed it into her mouth.

"I'm sure he'll love you, kid," Jigen said from his doorway.  "Any luck?"

"Yeah, and we found a pendant that's oozing magic," Dawn said between bites.  Jigen came out and took the sundae, looking down at her.  "What?"  She took it back.  "It's not like it's safe or anything.  They had it contaminating a small ruby necklace too."  She ate another bite.  "I'm not sharing. You can buy your own."

Jigen snorted and shook his head.  "No thanks."  He looked at Lupin.  "Boss, we've got one small glitch."

"Lavelle told me about the ambassador.  Is it the same one?"  Jigen nodded.  "Good.  Maybe we can do something with her again."

Xander snickered.  "No, that might not be a good idea.  She brought her husband, the prototype for stuffy bastard aged eighty," he told him.  "He came in with a pit bull and a rifle.  They were quickly put away for him."  He turned, looking at Dawn.  "How magical?"

"A lot," she offered.  "Enough to be glowing without me turning on my Sight."  She scraped the bottom of the plastic cup, then stuck the last spoonful in her mouth.  "It's small, I'd say it was worn during rituals."

"Then don't worry about it for now," Xander told her.  "We can deal with it later.  I'm sure we can hit Cartier sometime."

"Your graduation exercise is going to be Harry Winston's right after the Oscars next year," Lupin told him.  "But yeah, we could try for Cartier.  I have no problem with that."

"They'd stick it back in their vaults," Dawn told him.  "The tag said it belonged to some Rockefeller cousin.  Morticia, Morte, something."  She shrugged.  "Whoever it was was wearing power."

"It's secondary, Dawn," Lupin told her.  She nodded.  "Good girl.  Where's everyone else?"

"The boys are out in the park playing frisbee," Jigen told him, rolling his eyes.  "Fujiko ordered them to go play in the park before they drove her insane by looking down her shirt or playing another game of tag.  Those two went to do a second case about a half-hour ago."  Lupin smiled at him.  "Need anything else?"  Lupin shook his head.  "Got a plan yet?"

"A small one," Lupin agreed, looking at Dawn.  "You?"

"I prefer ventilation systems but their grates were awfully small," she told him.  "I'm not much for the sneaking in part so I'll defer this time."

Lupin nodded, that was sensible.  "Okay.  Then let me sit down with the map I got us and see if we can figure out a plan once the other two come back."

"If they come back," Xander said, walking over to the computer.  He turned it around, opening the picture he had cropped.  "Look, it's a Buffy," he said dryly, getting out of the way.

"She's got brown hair," Dawn said, frowning over her shoulder at the image.  "Did she suddenly undye it?"

Jigen shuddered.  "Was she following you?"

"I didn't feel her," Dawn admitted.  "I didn't see her either."

"She was with the class of kids," Xander offered.  "So was Morgan."  Dawn grimaced.  "It's a daycare."

Lupin looked at the picture, he remembered the group but not the adults.  He had thought the kids looked so cute in their uniforms.  It was like a real school for three-year-olds.  "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Positive," Xander admitted.  "I saw her when she didn't have any time to dye her hair for months on end.  That's her natural color."  Dawn nodded.  "You wanna check my findings?"

Dawn stood up and came over, looking at the picture. "If it's not, we've got some half-sister running around," she said quietly.  "With dad that's possible but not probable.  But yeah, that is Morgan," Dawn admitted, stroking the face of her nephew.

"All right.  Could she have recognized you, Dawn?" Jigen asked.  She shook her head quickly.  "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.  My wig was firmly in place.  My outfit was so not me, and was never something I would have worn in the past.  The only thing she might have identified was the heels I wore but they're new."

Lupin gave her a pat on the back.  "This is a coincidence."  Both young people looked at him like he had just uttered something blasphemous.  "What?" he asked impatiently.

"You believe in coincidence?" Dawn asked him.

Lupin nodded. "Don't you?"

"No.  In Sunnydale it never happened.  If stuff like this happened there, there was a reason and it usually had something to do with an apocalypse."  Xander nodded quickly, going back to his spot near the window.  "We never 'ran into' someone we hadn't seen for a while without it trying to kill us."  She looked confused, turning it on Jigen.  "Do coincidences really exist?"

He nodded.  "Most of the world agrees that they do."

Xander lifted his rifle and put the silencer on it.  "Should I help the stupid old guy with his clay pigeons or not?"

"Ah, hell, make him look good.  You could use the practice," Jigen agreed, coming over to watch him take out the clay disks just as the ambassador's husband shot and missed each one.

"He sucks," Xander noted quietly, hitting the next one a little early but it was fine.  No one was paying any attention.  "I wonder if people do this for the Prez when he hits a ball into the woods while golfing?"

Lupin came over, pulling everyone away from the window and closing it.  "Enough," he decided.  "He doesn't deserve the waste of ammo."

"This is the US, boss," Xander reminded him.  "Guns are mostly rampant here.  I could go out and replace most of our stock within four hours of driving."  Lupin looked at him.  "Really.  There's a gun show about four hours away.  I could get us some major shit there.  All without background checks."

Lupin shook his head.  "It's not necessary. We shipped what we needed."  He went back to the computer, looking at all the other pictures.  "Who cropped these?"

"I did," Jigen admitted.  "The frames were blurry.  You need to clean your lense, boss."

"I'll do that later," Lupin decided, looking at all the pictures.  Nothing said they couldn't get others while they were there.

***

Xander looked up as Jigen joined him at the bar, handing him his spare drink someone had bought him.  "Hey," he said, nodding slightly. "Dawn still hyper?"

"Very," Jigen agreed, sipping that drink.  He had made Xander switch to scotch a few months back so the liquor bill would be less.  "Let's find a table."  They walked to the back corner, there was never anyone by the kitchen.  He sat across from the boy.  "The boss is worried that you're gonna spaz out soon," he said quietly.

Xander chuckled, finishing his drink.  "Why?  Because Wesley's dead?"  Jigen nodded, taking another sip of his.  "There's no problem.  I accepted this life fully a long time ago.  You know that."

"That's why I said I'd talk to you," Jigen informed him.  "Besides, it's keeping Fujiko off your case."

Xander smirked.  "She's not really my type. I don't want to have to guard against a knife during sex."  He waved the waitress over, smiling at her.  "Another, please?" he asked in his french accent.  She nodded and went to get it for him, coming back quickly.  He paid for it and gave her a nice tip.  "Merci."  She hurried off.

"We could just buy a fifth," Jigen pointed out.

"Half the fun of going to bars is people watching," Xander offered.  He nodded behind him.  "Like that couple.  He's already drunk, she's resisting.  He'll be raping her before the night is out probably."  Jigen looked at them, then nodded that the boy was right.  "Besides, I needed to get away from the younger crowd.  I haven't been that young in years, boss, and it gives me great irritation."

Jigen nodded. "That's the other reason I'm down here.  Lupin is playing scrabble with them."  He put down the empty glass.  "You're sure?"

"What else am I gonna do?" Xander asked calmly.

Jigen sighed.  "Not the point."

"But it *is* the point.  It really is.  I started out a good guy, a white knight all the way.  I was the goofy guy who jumped in to help without having a *clue* what I was doing," he said with a sad smile.  "Then I started to learn things and things got easier.  The friends got harder but the life got easier.  Then the whole Wesley thing happened and I spent nine months looking at the worst that nature can give us, or that religion can give us depending on your viewpoint.  This is the only path left to me that I can reasonably take and be happy with myself ever again.  I'm doing good work getting rid of the problems so that no one else has to go through what I have."  He heard a familiar step and looked up.  "Shit."  He put some money on the table and hauled himself and his boss up, walking him to the door that led outside.

"Hold it," Pops, the detective from the ICPO, yelled, trying to chase after them.  "Police officer!  Get out of my way!" he said angrily as he pushed through the crowd.

"Bye, Pops," Jigen called, waving and smiling.

"Bye, Grandpa," Xander called, waving and grinning.  They exited, then disappeared so they could come back in the back entrance of the hotel.  Surely the cop wouldn't get to follow them down the alley.  One punk tried to stop them so Xander shoved his head into the building as hard as he could as they jogged past.  The punk didn't get up to try to bother them and none of the other punks did either. They made it to the back alley and looked around, then Xander nudged his teacher.  "Should we run upstairs right now or go wander?"

"Let's wander for a few," Jigen said, walking toward the main road.  He pulled out his cell and called the room. "It's me.  Pops was in the bar.  We're wandering for a few."  He hung up and looked at the kid.  "Backup hotel?"

"Yeah, one nearer to the museum. Less snazzy.  Less everything.  It's a rent-a-pro place but I can get a clear shot there if necessary."

"Okay then.  Let's head that way to check it out then we'll head back to the room."  He let the boy find them a cab, getting in the back with him.

Xander gave the driver a ten.  "We need to go to the whore spot on tenth," he ordered.  "That little one with the blue neon."

The driver looked at him, then looked at Jigen. "He should take you somewhere more classy, kid.  Even boytoys like you need to be treated better."

"His ex just caught up with us," Xander said with a grin, snuggling back into Jigen's side.  "We're escaping."  The driver laughed and drove off with them, ignoring the person jumping up and down on the pavement to try and get him to stop.  He looked up at his boss and grinned.  "See, I do have good ideas," he said quietly.

"Sometimes," Jigen admitted, tapping him on the nose.  "Behave, kid."

"I'm trying to," Xander defended.  "Sometimes it's hard."

"I'm sure it is."  Jigen looked out the window, watching the blocks go past so he could memorize the route.  The place was a roach motel but it did have clear line of sight to the museum from most of the rooms.  "Nothing closer?"

"Not with opening windows," Xander admitted as he let them into their room.  He turned so he could lean against the door as it closed. "Now, what should I do with you?" he asked with a very sexual smirk and a little lick of his bottom lip.

"Get over it," Jigen told him, cracking Xander up.  "How long did we book for?"

"One hour.  The standard."  He walked over and flopped down on the bed, earning a disgusted look.  "Please, like I care if I get stuff on my jacket.  That's what dry cleaners are for."

"I wouldn't touch that bed if someone paid me," he said, carefully not touching anything in case there were remains of the last user of the room.  Or the people before them.  Or even the people before them.

Xander turned on the tv, flipping through the listings.  "I guess it's porn."

"No, kid," Jigen said, taking the remote and putting it aside.   "Don't even think about it."

"I've gotten over my crush of you," Xander informed him, moving until he was kneeling on the bed.  "You've got to be monk-like if you didn't react to Dawn in the red outfit last month.  Even Goemon reacted."

Jigen grinned, that had been funny, it was the first time he had ever seen the samurai pounce his wife.  In public no less.  "Cute.  Still not me, but cute."

"Holding out for a nice little girl?"

"I'd break a nice little girl."  Jigen loosened his tie a little and looked around the room again.  It was cleaner than some he had been in.  "Which one did you want to get the day of the job?"

Xander slid closer, fixing the tie for his boss.  "There, now it's not crooked.  I want the end room.  That'll be easier."  Jigen nodded.  "Car?"

"There was a parking lot a few feet after this place," Jigen told him.  "We can park the backup there and use it ourselves if no one else does."  Xander nodded.  Jigen swatted his fixing hands.  "Stop that.  Otherwise, I'm going to have Lupin handcuff you tonight."

"Ooh, kinky.  Does he play that way?"

"I have no idea and no desire to find out," Jigen told him, looking into his eyes.  "Behave.  I mean it."  Xander let him go and sat on his heels. "Thank you."  He delicately sat next to the boy.  "I found your book last month."

"Have a good read?" Xander asked.

Jigen reached over and touched him on the shoulder.  "You can talk to me about anything, Xander, remember that.  Even the urges you still get after your captivity."  Xander nodded, looking down at his knees.  "I don't care.  It's part of you and I've always been a 'fuck the past' sort of guy.  How did you control it for six months?"

"Lots of long showers," Xander told him.  "That way I wouldn't be caught."

"It's all right, I do understand.  Hell, I lived with the horniest bastard ever for most of my adult life.  Fujiko used to tease and then walk away."  Xander snickered.  "So I can help you deal with yours too."

"I got rid of them the other night," Xander assured him.  "I'm totally free for at least another month."

"Wonderful.  From now on, *tell* me and I'll help you get out of the house.  But, please, don't do it in Turkey, it could get us killed."

"I wasn't planning on it.  Dawn's found a spell that'll take those nasty urges off me for a little while," he admitted.  He shifted until he was sitting cross-legged beside his mentor.  "I still say it's some lasting sickness from the trauma to want to be touched that way again, but Dawn said it's only natural that my body got used to it after all that time."

Jigen gave his shoulder a squeeze.  "She's right, it is.  Kidnaping victims often feel connected to their keepers and often like whatever is being done to them after too long being kept."  The boy looked at him and nodded.  "I mean it, you can tell me anything, kid.  I'm not gonna make fun of you.  I won't rant or get pissed.  I might want to dig up the guy you just capped and hurt him some more, but I'd never hurt you because of it."

"See, I blame me," Xander told him.  "I should have seen it coming.  Wes found the spell a week before he did it.  He kept watching me.  If I had been smarter, I would have realized something was going on and gotten protection sooner.  Dawn tried so hard to get me free. She managed it eventually, but not until nine months had passed with them being able to see everything that the demon did to me.  Including all the marks he put on me."

"The scars?"

"Those and I have magical tattoos.  Only those with the Sight or who are demonic can see them.  Some are protection, some are destruction, some just are. He enjoyed the hell out of marking my body and it shows.  As a matter of fact, I voted to go to Switzerland on that day-trip so I could talk to someone about the scars."

"That's what Lupin thought you were doing," Jigen agreed, giving him a little smile.  "Did he say if he could help?"

Xander shook his head.  "They can reduce the profile but I've got too much damage to do it without a skin graft and I don't have any acceptable places to take it from," he said quietly.  "The guy wanted to report the demon for my thighs but I told him it had been done a while ago and I was still healing."

"I've never seen your thighs," Jigen noted.  After all the time they had spent together, Xander never wore shorts around anyone.  He wasn't even sure the boy owned any.  "How bad are they?"

Xander stood up and undid his belt.  "The bathroom is that way," he said before he let his pants drop.  They were loose so they didn't rub on the open wounds.  His bikini briefs were very small so they couldn't touch anything.  Jigen turned green when he looked at the wounds.  "They were a lot worse," he said gently.  "When I first got back, I couldn't wear clothes at all.  Then someone I chatted with healed the one on my dick and that solved some of it."  Jigen rushed off to be sick.  "Sorry."  He pulled back up his pants and sat down again, getting comfortable.  "Now you know," he said when his mentor came back.

"Don't those hurt?"

"Only if I had feeling in that area.  I don't."

"At all?"

"Very little.  I'm lucky I've got feeling in my legs at all."  Xander shrugged.  "The rest of the pitiful tale you know.  Is that why you've had nightmares for the last month?"

Jigen sat down again, hugging the younger man.  "It was," he said gently.  "And now I'll probably have more, but I understand.  Thank you, Xander."  He pulled back. "Can't Dawn heal those?"

Xander shrugged.  "She thinks she can and remove most of the scars, but I'm pretty sure she can't. It's been too long."  Jigen gave him a gentle pat on the head.  "Are we ready to go?"

"Sure.  Let's go," Jigen agreed, standing up and resisting the urge to dust himself off.  "We'll throw both our suits in the wash as soon as we get back."

"Yes, boss," Xander agreed, following him out into the night.  "You gonna be okay or should we hit a liquor store?"

"Let's hit a liquor store," Jigen ordered.  "I'm not telling anyone else but I could use a good snort or six."

"Yeah, that's about why I drink too," Xander sighed, following him out so they could catch a cab.

***

Fujiko wandered out of her bedroom, meeting Jigen at the window again that night.  "What happened earlier?  All Lupin said was Pops was sniffing around."

"He saw us in the bar downstairs. Tried to capture us but the bar was full of happy and drunk people."  He glanced at her.  "Do you know how much I hate you for shooting me with that drug that made me allergic to nicotine?"  She slowly shook her head.  "More than anything, I want a cigarette right now and I can't or I'll end up dead in the ER tonight."  He planted his fist on the window frame.  "Leave the kid alone, Fujiko.  There's shit you don't know in his past."

"I saw the book, but I haven't gotten to read it yet," she said, turning to lean against the glass, looking at the room.

"Don't.  He doesn't want you to know," Jigen said firmly.  "If you upset him, there's no telling what he'll do when he runs this time.  So leave him alone."  He finished his drink and went in to sleep with Lupin that night. He had the bigger bed and he needed the warmth of another person there to reduce the nightmares.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Jigen agreed as he stripped down to his boxers and crawled into the bed.  "Hit me if I thrash too much."  He flipped onto his side and closed his eyes.

"What happened?"

"I promised I wouldn't tell, Lupin.  Drop it."

"Fine.  Should I ask Xander?"  Jigen shook his head.  "His thighs?"

"Yeah.  He explained it to me.  Now go ta sleep.  We'll need it with Pops in town."

"How bad are they?"

"Go to sleep or I'm leaving."

"Sorry, Jigen," Lupin said quietly.  He'd enforce that order with Fujiko in the morning.  Xander didn't need her brand of shit.  Someone tapped on the door and he lifted up.  "What?" he called quietly.

Xander padded in.  "Sorry, but I'm having nightmares.  Do you have any more of those half-sleeping pills?"

"Nope, sorry.  You took the last one."  He patted the space between them.  "Crawl in.  You'll probably feel better."  Xander shrugged and crawled between them, curling up in a little ball.  Lupin flipped onto his side, touching the boy's back.  "Relax.  We'd never touch you."

"I know.  This is how I sleep," Xander said tiredly.  He closed his eyes, forcing himself to relax.  He was soon asleep.

Lupin lifted the sheets, waking Jigen.  "He was having nightmares and I'm out of sleeping pills," he explained, settling the blankets comfortably.

"Don't.  I got sick earlier."

Lupin's glare pierced the darkness.  "Does he need help?"

"They could use some attention but they've been healing now since he got back.  Leave the kid alone about them."  He put his head back down, resting it next to Xander's.  "He'll run if we push this."

"I won't push, but I will make sure he's healthy.  We'll have him looked at by the doctor in Istanbul.  He was always pretty handy with big wounds."

"If the kid agrees."

"If he agrees," Lupin agreed.  "Or we can talk him into it."  Jigen nodded, that was reasonable.  Lupin waited until both men were asleep, then shifted the sheet again, picking up his keychain flashlight to look at the boy's stomach.  His thighs were covered by the boxer/briefs he was wearing.  The scars there were bad, very bad, and he couldn't identify what had caused them.  Xander started to move so he clicked off the light and put it aside.  There was time enough for that later.

***

Dawn walked into Lupin's room after a cursory knock, smirking at the cuteness of the three men.  She walked over and picked up the small digital camera they had been using the day before and snapped a few pictures, then went to download them onto the computer.  Xander had been comfortably stretched across Lupin's chest and Jigen had been resting behind him, one arm over Xander's stomach.  She loaded up the laptop, smirking because the lense had been cleaned.  The pictures were perfect.

Fujiko came over and then smirked. "Like a pile of puppies."

"Xander's the most relaxed I've seen him in nearly a year," Dawn said quietly.  She downloaded them into her mail account and mailed them to her alternate address.  Then she wiped the pictures off the laptop and shut it down.  "There, all done."  She stood up and went to pick at the tray with fruit on it.  Goemon was sitting next to it eating an orange.  "What are we doing today?"

"Normally we'd do another run through to test the entrances," Fujiko admitted.  "With Pops in town I'm not sure we can do that."

Lupin came to his door and looked at them, then slammed the door and went back to bed.

"I would say someone was not happy to be up yet," Goemon offered, continuing to eat.

Fujiko smirked at him.  "They're in there like a pile of puppies."  She and Dawn walked over, listening at the door.   Then Dawn frowned and walked in to help Xander.  He had been crying in his sleep again.  "What is going on?"

"Leave it alone," Marcus said from his doorway.  "The demon that had Xander did horrible things to him.  All because my father decided it was the only way.  If you nag him about it, he'll leave again.  The next time we see him, he'll be walking in to free us and then leaving before we can catch him.  I don't want that for Xander.  He's much too fragile anymore."  He came over and closed the door with what small magical gift he had.  "Leave him be, please, Fujiko.  We need Xander."  He went into the bathroom, starting his morning ablution.

Goemon looked at her.  "I agree.  Leave the boy be.  If he wants you to know, he will tell you.  Also, do not read the book.  That is the same as a private diary and he gave it to Lupin and Jigen for a reason.  Perhaps he felt they would understand more, perhaps not, but we will not bother the boy about it."

"I think he'll notice if we avoid him," Fujiko noted, coming over to sit near him on the couch.

"I said nothing about avoiding him.  I said we will not nag him."  She slumped, nodding.  "Thank you."  He finished his orange and reached for some bananas, handing one to her.  "Eat.  We will probably need it."

She nodded at that wisdom and peeled it, eating it slowly.  She kept glancing at that bedroom but she wouldn't go listen again.  Dawn had it and she trusted the young woman to know what to do for trauma victims.

***

Xander came out of the bathroom after his shower, dressed and ready for the day, all but his hair.  He found Lupin waiting on the couch staring out the window and everyone else apparently gone.  "You know, this whole 'Xander needs therapy' thing we've got going is going to give me a complex soon," he said dryly.

Lupin smirked at him.  "I'm not trying to be your counselor, Xander, sit."  The boy sat on the couch next to him.  "We're going to Istanbul after this job directly.  You and I."  Xander shrugged.  "Are you packed for that?"

"Mostly, yeah.  I wasn't sure how cold it was going to be here so I packed spring and winter clothes.  Why?"  He slowly shifted until he was facing the older man.  "Why are we going so early?"

"First because I want to look at this compound. I've only found satellite pictures so far.  Secondly because there's a healer in Istanbul that we've worked with in the past.  He's not...."  He trailed off, looking for the right word.

"Human? Normal?" Xander suggested.

"Normal works.  He's a true healer.  Very human but still not normal."

"And he works with the underworld?"

"He said he's balancing out the injustices of the universe," Lupin said with a shrug.  "He's got Jigen's medical records. They're about a foot thick now."  Xander nodded slowly.  "We're going by ourselves and Dawn will follow us because I want him to look at you."  He held up a hand at the starting frown.  "I ran into you by accident this morning and you were bleeding.  We need you in top shape, even if I didn't give a damn, but I want to help you heal.  It's been a long time and he might be able to help some of that heal faster."

"The guy in Switzerland said I'd need skin grafts and he couldn't seal the wounds on my thighs.  He gave me some herbal stuff to use when I soak."

"Still, this guy might know more about it.  It still might scar, but I'm sure it won't be as bad as the ones I saw on your stomach this morning."  He grinned slightly.  "I looked because I saw the blood.  If you want, I can show you the pajamas I was wearing."

"No, I trust you not to fuck me over," Xander told him.  He looked at his hands.  "Then what?"

"We'll get there, let him check you over, check into a hotel, then we'll go case the site.  If you need to, I'll make sure you get in for other appointments."

Xander sighed.  "Thanks, boss."

"You're welcome."  He tipped the younger man's face up.  "Remember what Jigen told you.  We are a family to each other.  If you're truly our next generation then let us help you.  Though I am going to warn Fujiko to lay off you. I doubt you need her version of mothering."

"No, she's not exactly the nurturing sort," Xander agreed with a small smirk. "I'm sorry I'm such trouble."

"We've all got pasts.  Some of them are worse than others.  Jigen's gives me nightmares."

Xander considered that then nodded once.  "Then I want you to do this same stuff for Dawn.  She needs it more than I do."

"Why is it that you want revenge for her and not yourself?"

"Because she's more important.  There are other good shots.  She's more special."  He stood up carefully.  "I will accept the visit to the doctor's however.  I probably could use it."

"Need pain killers?"

"No, I have no feeling in the area, it's one of the other ones that's pulling. It means there's a demon nearby.  It hurts but it's like a long pinch at the moment."  Lupin looked at him.  "Really, I'm fine.  Dawn needs this stuff more.  She's the one who got me free knowing what I was going through."  He headed over to the window to look outside.  "Where is everyone else?"

"Dawn forced them all to take her to breakfast.  We should get her something for her birthday."

"I already did, it's in my bag," Xander offered.  "You can put your name on it."

"That's all right, you can help me shop," Lupin decided, standing up and putting on his jacket.  "You ready for the day?"

"Let me tie back my hair," Xander said, grabbing a rubber band off the table and walking after him.  "Why does the boss wear a hat?"

"He said it helps his aim.  He won't tell me anything else when I ask.  I'm guessing someone, probably a mentor or a teacher, gave it to him.  It's probably one of the few good memories he has of his younger days."  Lupin glanced at the boy beside him as they waited for the elevator.  He looked down at the sneakers on his feet.  "Sneakers?"

"Sorry, I went for comfort today.  My heels are cracked, I need lotion and I'll be damned if I'm borrowing *hers*.  It smells like roses," he said with a shudder of distaste.

"That's fine.  We'll pick you up some of that as well," Lupin noted as he stepped onto the elevator.  They exited the hotel and caught a cab to the shopping district.  "You want to pull the heist or the distraction when we find it?"

"I'd rather pull the distraction," Xander told him.  "We both know that is not my strong point."

"Yeah, but we're still working on it," Lupin reminded him, patting him gently on the back.  "Jewelry you think?"

"Either that or something from the magic places.  She's been looking for a few books now for a few years.  I doubt anyone around here would have it besides Giles though."

"Hmm.  Can I check on him?  If only so I can understand Dawn better?"

"Sure.  I know where his shop is.  I had to check to make sure we weren't going to be near there.  Otherwise, we'd be in the big Hilton on the other side of the museum."

"Which would have been closer but still not as nice," Lupin agreed.  That answered the question he had about them being so far away from the target.  He liked to be closer so he could look at it now and then while he planned.  "What book has she been looking for?"

"A new spellbook.  She needs one to write in.  Her last one is nearly full."  He looked in the window, then shook his head.  "Not diamonds."

"She doesn't like diamonds?"

"No, she doesn't for whatever reason.  She likes sapphires.  The occasional ruby but mostly sapphires.  She likes blue."  He shrugged, laughing at the look on his boss' face.  "She is a girl, they worry about fashion stuff."

"True," Lupin agreed, knowing that the girl would never be like Fujiko now.  Fujiko had learned to accept whatever stones were given to her.  "What happens if we get in a load of diamonds?"

"Then she'd probably cash hers out and go buy books, shoes, and parts for her bike," Xander told him, holding open the door to a shop he liked the looks of.  Only one guard.  A nice selection in the window.  Lupin looked at him.  "Trust me."  He walked over to the case with the necklaces, pointing at a few things.  "She'd like those.  She likes the pendants."

Lupin looked at them, shaking his head. "None of them are good enough for her."

"We do have a few larger pieces," the saleswoman said, giving them a smile.  "A coming of age present?"

"No a woman with very simple desires," Xander said, not looking at her.  "She likes the more simple designs and sapphires."

"Well, I do have something but it's a bit more formal than most people would like," she offered, leading them to another case.  In it was a sapphire strand, like an eternity band for the neck.  There was also an emerald version next to it.  "How about something like these?"

Lupin nodded.  "I like them.  May I look at them closer?  Are they lab created?  She hates those."  She smiled and pulled them out so he could look at them.

Xander wandered around to look at the watches on the other side of the store.  "Hey, babe, can I do something about my cheap watch?"

Lupin looked back at him.  "Sure.  You've got your own card."

"Good point."  Xander bent down to look at the watches.  "I know you're busy and it's against protocol, but can you let me see a few of these?"

"In just a moment, sir.  I can't leave a spot when the cases are open."

"That's fine," Xander agreed, finding the watch he wanted.  An older man came out of the back.  Perfect.  He smiled at him.  "Can you please show me these four?" he asked, pointing at them.  The old man nodded and came over to remove them so he could look at them closer.  "Are any of them Swiss?  Are any rated to work forever?  Or nearly?"

The older man laughed.  "The silver one is rated for ten years, it updates through a satellite signal.  The matte black one is nicer, it's windable.  I have one of my own and I've had it for nearly twenty years.  I've lost maybe five minutes the whole time I've had it.  Some of the more recent ones aren't as reliable but they're still good watches."

Xander decided against that one.  He looked at the rest of them, then the rest of the case.  "I need something really accurate that isn't self-updating.  Things like that make me paranoid."  He looked at the man.  "I'm into high-tech computer operations.  I need something that's as precise as the National Observatory clock."

The old man nodded and walked over, bringing a watch back.  "I like this brand for accuracy," he said, letting the man hold it.

"I like this," Xander agreed.  It was a little bright but he could scuff the finish and it would look like he'd had it for years.  He said a small spell under his breath, making the man pass out.  No damage was done but he was out cold.  "Um, he passed out," Xander called, putting one of the other watches onto that pad to make it look like it was still there.

The woman hurried over, checking him over.  "You poor thing, your blood pressure must be high again.  Please excuse me while I call someone."

"We'll leave you alone," Lupin told her.  "Don't worry about it.  I hope he feels better."  He had already stolen the few things he liked.  He followed Xander out.  "Babe?"

"Sorry, apparently I'm having a gay day.  Some days I have straight days and some days I have gay days.  It's an odd part of being bi for me."  He shrugged and grinned, showing off his new watch.  "What do you think?"

"I like.  Those are really good ones.  Pops wears one."  They got into a cab and headed off, going back to their hotel to gift wrap Dawn's new presents.

Xander looked at the necklaces in the box.  "Tanaznite?"

"The sapphire one was about half lab-created stones," he explained.  "Definitely not good enough for her."  He held up the other one.  "I think she'll like this one more."

Xander looked at the stone's color.  The pendant was the same color as Dawn's energy. "Wow, it's the Key as a pendant."  Lupin looked at him.  "That's the color of the Key's energy."

"Okay," he said, nodding.  "Another good coincidence."

"You'll never get Dawn or me to believe in that word," he said with a small smile.  The door opened and Lupin hurriedly wrapped the present since Fujiko and the boys came in first.  "Hey," Xander said, waving.  "Did you remember to bring us stuff to eat too?"  He smirked at Jigen as he walked in, holding up his new watch.  "You like?"

"I do," he said, nodding at the watch.  "Nice hiding job too.  That one's about two years old but it looks well worn."

"It was shiny."  He smirked at Dawn, pulling her closer to take his food and to give her a hug.  "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

She laughed, giving him an extra squeeze.  "Having a gay day?" she teased.

He nodded.  "Very.  I actually said the word 'babe' earlier," he admitted with a smirk.

"Yeah, to me," Lupin said, handing over the present.  "It's a fast job, but you do deserve it."

She squealed and sat down to rip open the paper.  Then she squealed again when she saw the pretties inside.  "This is so great!  Thank you."  She hugged them both, squeezing until they couldn't breathe.  "I've got just the thing to do with the green one."

"Mine's in my bag," Xander told her.  She jogged that way to retrieve it, coming out with the package of good chocolate.  She gave him an extra hug and sat down to nibble, swatting Marcus' hand away from her presents.  "Hers, Marcus."

"Sorry, Xander."  He gave him a sheepish look.  "Did you two make any decisions this morning?"

"We're going to Istanbul sooner so we can case the place," Lupin told him.  "Dawn will be joining us a few days after we leave.  Jigen will bring the rest of you to us with Goemon." Goemon looked at him.  "If you're coming."

"I am.  I wish to see that thing destroyed," he said firmly.

"What does this gold mask do?" Xander asked.

"It artificially enhances your senses and allows you to see into the spirit realms."

"Huh, so it's a protection and sensing spell laid on a gold mask," Dawn noted.  "Maybe I can break it and we can melt the stupid thing down."  She ate another bite of candy before working on preparing her new pendant for the energy it would hold.  It'd come in handy when she was too tired during a fight.  She was definitely high on the energy levels today.  "Do we have a plan yet?"

"We do," Lupin announced.  "We'll do a walk through later tonight."  Everyone nodded.  "I guess we'll hang out until then."

"Scrabble?" David asked.  It was the only game they had.

"No," Xander and Dawn said firmly.  It made the older people laugh.

"Go do something by yourself or read," Dawn told him.  He grimaced but went to do that.  He was seventeen, he was always horny and it would kill time.  Dawn shook her head, looking at Marcus.  "You too."

"I don't have any books to read," he admitted.  "I didn't think I could get an ancient book past the screeners so I didn't bring one."

"In my bag is the Book of the Dead, in untranslated format," Dawn told him.  He started to drool.  "I'm working on the parts about the Key to the Gates of the Dead.  Go for it.  I've got my place marked."  He hurried that way, it was just his sort of thing.

"What is it with you and keys?" Fujiko asked her.

"Easy, I am The Key," Dawn told her.

"Complete with capitals," Xander added for good measure.  He looked at the book the boy was bringing back.  "Hieroglyphics or French version?"

"Hieroglyphics," Marcus moaned, sitting down at the table to work on them.  He noticed the shudder from Lupin.  "You don't like them?"

"I had a bad run-in with them once," he said quietly.  "Have fun with it.  Dawn, key?"

"Remember the portal?"  He nodded.  "The Key.  Complete with caps," she told him.

"Okay."  He smirked.  "That's handy in your line of work."

"Very," she agreed smugly, "but I've also ended up in other realms.  I have to really know where I'm going to stay on this realm.  The alternate universe a few months back was really odd.  Jigen was married to a cop."  He groaned and shuddered.  "She was nice and helping you with a job," she told him with a small smile for him.  "We really need to find her in this realm.  She was close enough to come across the boundary to our side."

Jigen shuddered again. "No thanks."  He sat down in front of the window. "He's doing it again."

"Yay," Xander said dryly, smirking at him.  "Let him miss all his skeet this time.  His friends will laugh at him harder."

"Only behind his back.  People like that are never laughed at to their faces," Lupin told him.  "Xander, if we're pulling this tomorrow, I'll need you closer.  Is that back up place good?"

"It's close enough for the extreme range rifle," Xander admitted.  "It's about four blocks away but in direct line of sight.  I can definitely take out any threat to the outside."

"I'd rather have you closer," Lupin noted.  "We're going in through the skylight.  They're replacing it right now after the last attempt.  Goemon, I'll need you to not cut through it.  It's got electrified wires going through it."  He nodded, he didn't want to get shocked that badly.

"Why not go through the loading dock?" Dawn suggested.  "It's unguarded, especially at night if there's no shipment coming in.  That would lead us back to the offices and from there it looked like a magnetic key system to gain entrance or exit."

Lupin leaned back, considering that.  "What about the cameras?"

"Wouldn't their controls be somewhere back there?" Xander offered.

"The security office is on the other side, but it uses the same magnetic key system to gain entry," Dawn told him.  "If we come out, it's a quick stroll down a hall and around a corner to get to it.  Or we could conceivably reroute the power temporarily.  That way it wouldn't show up on the security system but we wouldn't have a problem with any camera not on backup power."

"I think I want to look at those first," Lupin decided.  "It would be easier than getting on top of the building."  He stood up.  "Get changed, Dawn."  She nodded, heading to do that.  "Wear something different today."

"Sure, boss."  She closed and locked her door, just in case David got done early.

"Goemon, I want you ready for anything.  With Pops still being in town there's no telling what might be going on."

"How are we getting the stuff out?" Xander asked.

Lupin smirked.  "I'll show you that on the way to the airport.  We're leaving right after the heist.  Be packed and ready."

"Deal," Xander agreed.  "Can I send my rifle too?"  Lupin nodded. "Even better.  I don't want to lose it."  He stretched and winced again.  "I want to know where the demon is around here."  He stood up.  "I'll be right back.  I'm guessing it's a maid or something."  He left the room, leaving behind some very confused people.

"Demon?" Goemon asked.

"One of the marks on him is something that warns him one is nearby," Lupin told him.  "Fujiko, leave the boy alone.  That is an order," he said calmly and quietly.  "I don't want to hear you nag him.  He doesn't need a mother."

"I wasn't going to," she said, grimacing.  "I think the boy needs help but I know it's not my job.  I'm not that good."

"Good," Jigen agreed.  "Tell Fihad I said hi."

"I'll do that.  Do you have any problems with the exit plans?"

"Nope.  We've got reservations made somewhere else for that.  I can make sure Dawn gets through two days later."  Lupin nodded, looking toward the door.  Dawn came out, dressed in something a bit more slinky, with a blond wig.  She was in high heels, the dress clung to her generous figure, which showed some signs of padding, and her wig was perfectly applied.  Even her makeup said she was someone's mistress.  "Come on," he told her.

"Ah-ah, you need a disguise too," Dawn reminded him, heading into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Lupin smirked as he went into his room to change clothes.  He came out in a serious, dark suit, with his favorite glasses on.  He took her arm, leading her out into the hall.  "Got a card key?"  She nodded, waving her small clutch purse.  "Can you actually run in those?"

"Yeah, I have in the past," she told him, looking down at the two inch stilettos.  "Plus, they're a good weapon in case we need them."  She licked her lips, making him smile.  "Sorry, I went with the 'Buffy on the prowl' look."  He laughed, shaking his head.  She pushed the button for the elevator.  "Xan?"

"He said something about there being a demon nearby."

"Ah.  He's going to destroy it."  She nodded.  "That's fine.  It'll cheer him up."  They got onto the elevator, smiling at the person already in it.  The ambassador's husband sniffed so she leaned against Lupin's side.  "Honey, can we *please* look at the nice things in the exhibits as well as go for a stroll?" she pleaded in her best begging with honey voice.

He patted her on the arm. "If you like," he promised tolerantly.  "Anything in particular?"  He noticed she was wearing one of his new presents.  "That looks very nice on you."  She blushed and glanced away.  He kissed her gently on the cheek.  "You're adorable.  Never doubt that."  She nodded, digging her nails into his arm.  The elevator opened and the rude man pushed past them.

"Huh, asking for an ass kicking," Dawn noted, walking Lupin out.  "I know I'm cute."

"You're more than cute.  You're very beautiful," Lupin told her as they walked out.  The doorman got them a cab and he helped her into it.  "There we are."  He looked at the driver.  "The museum of art," he instructed.  "The one with the nice Cartier exhibit.  We're shopping for her next present."  She cooed and leaned against his arm again, one hand stroking up and down it.  "Dawn," he hissed.  She smirked at him.  Ah, she wanted to play.  "Behave, darling, or no treats later."

She winked.  "We'll see."  She let his arm go, watching the surrounding buildings.  "What's that one?" she asked the driver as they passed by a large one.

"That's the local Microsoft building.  They decided to open a temporary office when the court cases got filed locally.  It was cheaper than moving their whole law division back and forth for each meeting."  He turned into the circular drive in front of the museum.  "This one?"

"Well, I had been thinking of the other one," Dawn admitted, "but we could go look in here."  She looked at Lupin, who shrugged.  It'd be a good thing to case it in advance.  She paid the man and let Lupin help her out again.  "Thank you."  She blew a kiss and the driver blushed, hurrying off.  "Let's see what's in this one," she said, taking his arm again as they walked inside.  This one was definitely more her style.  Ancient artifacts and raw jewelry.  She paused in front of one case, smirking at the stone in there.  It would be hers before she left the city.  He gave her arm a squeeze.  "Isn't it pretty?" she cooed, pointing at it.

He nodded.  "Very."  He knew that look, it would be hers soon.  He used to give Fujiko that same look.  As long as she did it after his job.

***

Dawn walked into the suite, looking at Marcus.  "Did you bring the Willow diaries?" she asked him.  He nodded.  "Good.  There's a Microsoft office in town."  He smirked at her.  "Let's play.  Get me virus three."  He nodded and went to get it for her.

"Huh?" Jigen asked.

"Willow was a hacker before she became magic girl.  She still hacks and creates viruses in boredom, but she never uses them.  Her repentance snit won't allow her to use them.  But I've had this grudge against Microsoft for a few years now.  Windows crashed on my home computer and ate my diary."  She sat down behind Lupin's laptop but he shook his head.  "Fine, where is Xander's?"

"In his suitcase," David told her, looking back at her.  "What are we doing?"

"First, the virus I like will create an untraceable web address for the company, putting their full server onto the 'net until they realize it and yank it. It will give anyone who accesses certain parts with a certain password administrative privileges for the site and the server."  Jigen sat up, looking at her.  "It will also allow you to add stuff to the server and files or to take things off."

"Do the ICPO," Lupin instructed.  "Microsoft is evil but that's too nice for them.  You can use mine for that."

"Actually, it's probably the one thing they fear," Fujiko told him.  "But he's right, do the ICPO.  We need to fix a few records in there.  Namely ours."

"Sure," Dawn agreed, taking the disc when Marcus brought it back.  She slid it into the drive and hummed while it booted.  She typed in the company name, then the headquarters.  "Anyone got a phone number for them?"

"Yeah," Lupin agreed, coming over to type it in.  He also hooked the laptop into the phone line.  He stayed there to watch it work.  "Wow," he breathed, smirking at Jigen.  "What should we do first?"

"Get Grandpa a raise," Marcus said with a grin.  "That way maybe he won't feel so obligated to chase us."

"His obsession is at a scary point," Dawn reminded him.  She typed in the three commands she needed, releasing them and sending the International Police onto the net.  She giggled, heading to the site.  "Okay.  Let me log in."  She logged in using the speciality codes.  "What time is it there?"

"Middle of the night," Jigen told her.

"Decent.  They don't have a night shift tech staff."

"They don't have a night shift anything," Goemon told her.  He came over to watch as well.  "Will this hurt our reputations?"

"No, but it will remove all those nasty warrants for your arrest," Dawn told him.  She cracked her knuckles and went to work, erasing all their files, including hers and Xander's.  His was saved down because it was a lot more extensive than she had thought it would be.  Then she gave Inspector Zenigata a raise.  Just fifty cents an hour but a nice one nonetheless.  Plus she pushed forward his application for hazard back pay.  He probably deserved it and then he could stay at a real hotel.  It'd give them a better challenge.  She looked at Lupin.  "Done.  What else?  Did we need an access code?  Did we want a paycheck from them ourselves?  Name it and I can do it for the next little while."

Jigen laughed.  "That is very cute, Dawn.  Where would they send it?"

"A Swiss account," she said smugly.  "Speaking of, I've got one of those that I need to check on later."  She went back to typing in commands.  It gave them an access code so they could log in whenever they wanted to mess with stuff.  "Okay, this gives us departmental access," she announced finally.  "They've just made a new profiling section, which is us.  The old unit had been closed because they didn't want to deal with the FBI.  This one will profile thieves and assassins only.  All their files are now free to us for the use.  Our department is considered a 'think tank'," she did the finger quotes, "so they're not expecting us to be in the building to work.  They expect us to have a lot of travel and have allotted us ten thousand Francs for this year's travel."  She looked at Lupin.  "The present Commissioner, which just switched over to a very strict woman who reminds me of the first headmistress in the movie Matilda, has also issued an executive order to give Zenigata whatever he wants in the way of gear but that his obsession will have to play itself out.  He may have up to three helpers from any local department but not steal all their resources like he has in the past.  And that actually came from her.  It hit my inbox.  Which is now set up for all admin messages."  He smirked at her.  "Since we're a think tank, we don't get regular paychecks, we get grants.  I routed it to my Swiss account so we could get it from there on the way home.  I put us out of Switzerland as well.  The address is in the middle of Lake Geneva."  That got some snickering from Jigen.  "Anything I've missed, bosses?"

"No, I think that's great, Dawn," Lupin assured her with a smile.  "Go ahead and log out before they track us."

"That would require them to know it had happened," Dawn told him, turning around and logging off the site.  Then she went to her account and checked the balance.  "Why hasn't the auction gone through yet?" she muttered, going there to check that one.  "Ah-ha!"  She typed in something else, sending a nasty email to the head of the auction house.  He sent one back immediately saying that it would be released in the morning.  She sent one back thanking him and then got off the computer so someone else could check their email.  Xander walked in, his shirt slightly rumpled.  "Maid?" she asked.  He nodded.  "You okay?"

"She was really scared so I told her to leave," Xander told her, shrugging slightly.  He sat down with a deep sigh.  "She won't be here again.  She quit and ran off."

"Why did you make the maid quit?" Goemon asked.

"She was demonic and could tell who I am," Xander told him, rolling his head to look at him.  "I let her live because she was too scared to do more than babble in fear."

"Good job," Jigen told him.

"Thanks, boss.  Dawn, please get me a drink?  I had a flash while I was with her."  Dawn got him a drink and he drank it quickly before laying down.  "Thanks.  Wake me when it's my turn to hear the plan."  He closed his eyes, getting comfortable.

"Huh?" Fujiko noted, raising her hand.

"Another part of his past," Dawn told her.  "It's protective on his part."

"Then why the liquor?"

"The single drink will make sure he doesn't have nightmares," Dawn told her.  She looked at Lupin again.  "Can I?  Please?" she begged.

"After we're done and before you leave, young lady," he said with a tolerant, fatherly smile for her.  "And no more teasing!"

"Fine."  She smirked at him.  "I thought you deserved it."  She moved Xander's feet and sat underneath them, stroking his ankle until he kicked her for it.  "Sorry, Xan."  She looked back at Lupin.  "I saved his file down.  It was suspiciously thick."

Jigen came over to take the diskette and use Xander's laptop to look it over.  He came out of the bedroom, looking at her.  "It's got military records in it.  Why?"

"Which military unit?" Lupin asked.

"There's two of them."

Dawn slid out from underneath the feet and followed him back, then came out and sighed.  "The US Military is looking for him.  It seems he was recognized when they went to take down the Initiative.  They wanted to see if they could hire him."

"Over their dead bodies," Fujiko told her.

"True," Jigen agreed, "but they're being stubborn.  They put a small price on his head.  The extra thickness was a recounting of what he could do, skills that I didn't know he had."  He looked at Dawn.  "How was he able to steal a surface-to-air missile?"

"Easy.  That possession thing."

"Oh.  Necessary?"  She nodded. "That's fine."  He looked at Lupin.  "They seriously want the boy to work for them.  They think he's superman."

"He's more batman," Dawn told him, giving him a pinch to the upper chest area.  "Don't tell him, he'll get pissed and want to do a hit at the Pentagon."  He snorted, shaking his head.  "Who's kidding?  Willow did it."  He stopped and looked at her.  "Seriously.  There is no Corporal Rosenburg in the M-division of the Army.  The Army does not have magic users."  She crossed her arms.  "Someone has got to talk to that woman.  I can't because I'm emotionally involved.  Xander can't because he'll kill her."

David raised his hand.  "Let me."

"No," Goemon told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "This should come from someone older and more dangerous."

"I doubt she'd listen to you, Goemon.  She doesn't know you and doesn't fear you yet," Dawn told him.  "She doesn't fear David.  She does fear me, Xander, and Marcus."

Marcus swallowed.  "Dawn, I am not the best at threatening people.  I don't like killing."

"Then don't," she snorted.

"I'll bring him with me," Goemon told her.  "When was the file added?"

"After the funeral.  She did it in retaliation.  She wants him locked up."  Dawn lifted her chin.  "I don't care what you do to her, but the kids will have to stay protected.  The Powers That Be proclaimed that they shall be Slayers and that she shall suffer for her sins.  That was my main job up until I picked up with Xander again."

"That's what you stuck her with?" Jigen asked.  She nodded, looking back at him.  "And?"

"And," she sighed.  "The oldest isn't going to make it very long.  I've got to plea on her behalf.  She's a sweet girl."  There was a crack of thunder and a portal opened.  Dawn walked through, coming back a few minutes later.  "Tara will be fine.  She's been moved to the last of the list," she announced.  "Willow's in town.  They agreed, her actions against Xander are criminal and need punished.  You or me," she told Goemon firmly.

"These Powers That Be?" he asked.

"Them," she agreed.  "The beings that make the rules, enforce the punishments, play a big game of chess with the rest of us."  Everyone looked shocked.  "What?" she demanded.  "I didn't make them!  Well, okay, my basic structure was there when they were made, but I wasn't."

"Why do they like Xander?" Jigen asked.

"Because the fact that he was given was an unbalancing act in the world," she said firmly.  "By doing so, it aided the dark in gaining a foothold.  They can't get back their advantage until all the acts are revenged.  Like I said, it's a big game of chess with more players.  Marcus' father effectively took out three white knights: me, Xander, and Marcus.  And he was on our side."  She turned and closed the portal.  "But I can make you forget the last few minutes," she offered.

"Please," Fujiko asked.  "What are you, Dawn?  That's the second hint today that you're not human."

"I'm the Key," she told her simply.  "I'm a mystical ball of energy that opens doorways turned human.  I'm just as human as you are, now."  Fujiko swallowed so Dawn cast the spell, making everyone but Jigen and Goemon forget. She couldn't get one and the other walked away as she was casting.  He came back after she was done.  "You two know," she said in the blank spot.  "Do not use it against him or face me."  She went back to her spot under Xander's feet.  Everyone got back in step with the current flow of time and she looked at Lupin.  "So, how about a hidden entrance for the second job?  You like that?"

"I do," he agreed, smiling at her.  He would get on her case later about fixing his memories.  Or trying anyway.  He looked at Fujiko, her stance said she didn't remember.  Neither of the boys did.  Jigen obviously did and so did Goemon.  "Go face down this Rosenburg woman while we wait," he ordered.  "It'll keep Marcus out of trouble."  Goemon nodded and took Marcus to help him pick out an acceptable outfit.  The boy would wear tweed all the time if they let him.  "Dawn," he said fondly, smiling at her.

She looked back at him.  "I mean it," she told him.

"Fine."  He came over to lean beside her.  "How were you wanting to get in?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem," she said with a smirk.  She whispered her plan in his ear, making him cackle in joy.  "Good enough?"  He nodded, going back to making his plans for the primary job.  "I'll go the day before I leave.  Things will still be in disarray and I'll sleep on the plane over."

"Fine," he agreed.  "Remember to have everything packed before you go."

"Yes, sir," she said smartly.

"What did you find at this second place?" Fujiko asked.

Dawn grinned.  "Just some stuff that I adored.  I'll show you before I leave."  She went back to stroking Xander's ankle for him.  Her primary objective was now settled.  Making Willow pay was next on the list but that was being taken care of by others.  Delegating was rather fun sometimes.  She really wanted to see Willow's face when she saw Marcus.  "Hey, Marc, wear a camera and record it for us," she called.

"Yes, Dawn," he agreed.

***

Jigen and Fujiko met at the window for the third night.  "What is going on?" she asked him.

He shrugged.  "Strange stuff is more their thing than mine.  Why?"

"Goemon is meditating on something he saw while watching that woman earlier and he won't tell me what."  She brushed some of her hair out of the way.  "Lupin is acting like Dawn's his heir."

"She is," Jigen agreed.  "She's a worse shot but otherwise she is.  David's yours.  Marcus is Goemon's and Xander is mine.  He'll be the one who leaves and comes back probably."  He looked out at the quiet city.  There was no activity out there, even the drug addicts and the prostitutes had pulled it in for the night.  "We're supposed to get snow tomorrow."

"That's nice," she said dryly.  "At least we've got boots that don't have tread."  She looked toward Lupin's room.  "What is going on with him and the girl?"

"Nothing.  He's seeing her as a little sister or something.  The same as I see Xander."  He looked toward his bedroom.  "He and Lupin might get it together but nothing else."

"He's like that?"

"Bi."  Jigen looked at her again.  "Why?  Gonna hold it against him?"

"No!" she said bitterly.  "That boy is damaged, he needs help!"

"He's got it, the same way Dawn does, whenever they ask," he said quietly.  "They're strong, they've managed this long without breaking.  They'll keep it until they're alone."  He really wanted a cigarette.  Something to suck on or play with.  He couldn't even clean his gun, he'd done it earlier while Xander cleaned everything else.  "They've had bad things happen, Fujiko.  They've got it handled."

"I can see that," she said dryly.  "That's why Xander couldn't move earlier?  Or why he had to go after the maid?"

"He had to go after her so that she couldn't tell anyone he was here," Jigen said harshly.  She backed away from him.  "Leave him alone about it.  There are things you don't need to know and that is one of them."  Goemon opened his bedroom door and looked at them.  "Explaining the lay of the land to her."

"She will not bother the boy," Goemon said as he padded out to stand with them.  "The boy does need a shoulder however."

"Which he's got," Lupin said from his doorway.  "The same as the other kids do if they need it."  He came out to join them.  "How is Marcus' training going?"

"He has absorbed all the knowledge, it is training his body that is the hard part.  He needs more training."

"When they're not busy, you bring him home and work with him," Lupin ordered.  "He's dangerous without having it all down pat."  Goemon nodded.  "I know he's not the usual student, and that you think you're not ready yet, but you are."

"I am," Goemon agreed.  "The boy needs me.  What was done to him was very wrong.  Knowledge should not be forced onto anyone."

"True," Jigen agreed.  "How's Dawns' hand-to-hand?"

"She is also doing well. She had a firm foundation but I have expanded her horizons to include other styles.  Xander's inner focus still needs work.  He cannot meditate but he is very deadly in a fight.  Even if he will not admit it.  He lacks self-confidence."

"He'll gain it as he relaxes and learns to trust again," Lupin told him.  He looked at his original group.  "I had planned on keeping them for another year at least.  Does anyone have any problem with that?"

"After a year, we'll start letting them do jobs on their own," Jigen agreed.  "It'll help them and we'll do some together every now and then."

"I can accept that," Fujiko agreed.  "Dawn and I could still share some information between us.  None of them can do safes."  She looked at her husband, who nodded.  "You won't mind?"

"I knew I was going to pass on my skills some day, I had hoped it would be to my son but I can take others as well while I wait for one to appear and become old enough."

"You want kids?" Fujiko said.

He looked at her and nodded.  "Yes.  Soon, woman.  That way we do not die before they are adults."  He looked at Lupin again, ignoring her shocked look.  "What about Dawn?  Should I try to gain her help in other matters?"

"I think your brand of focus will help her with her magic skills," he admitted, looking toward her door.  "It can't hurt.  Even if we don't understand it, it's damn handy."

"Very," Jigen agreed.  "What did Xander do to get the watch?"

"He knocked the guy out, I'm not sure how," Lupin admitted with a small shrug.  "We picked it up at the same place we got her necklaces.  When is his birthday?"

"Two weeks ago."

"And he didn't tell us?" Fujiko asked.

Jigen looked at him.  "He's still skittish.  He doesn't expect anyone to give a damn about such things.  His only friends were Willow and Buffy."  That pretty well explained it to everyone.  "Boss, do you think Fihad can help him?"

"I hope so.  His thigh is bleeding again," Lupin told him.  "At the very least he should be able to close them.  His skills are greater than Dawn's in that area."  Jigen nodded.

"She can heal things?" Goemon asked.

"It's a spell she knows," Jigen told him, giving him a pat on the back.  "Like the one to take out power grids and things."

"Ah.  Then perhaps I should get her to look at Fujiko's arm."  His wife hit him.  "Stop it," he warned.

Dawn came out of her room. "Can't you guys keep it down?" she asked, padding over to where they were, leaning against Jigen's side.  She felt comfortable with him and Lupin.  Goemon was kinda uptight and she didn't understand him at all.  Fujiko was too much like her sister for her to be friends with.  "What's the dt?"

"Talking about your skills actually," Lupin told her.  "Goemon wanted you to look at Fuji's arm."

"Sure.  Give me until in the morning.  Things go wacky when I'm tired," she told him.  He nodded.  "Anything else?"

"Xander's bleeding," Jigen told her.  She looked up at him and he nodded.  "Is that normal?"

"No.  It means he's been nearby.  How long has he been bleeding?"

"Since last night," Lupin told her.  "I thought I had run into him."

"No, that means the demon's nearby.  Or checking on him.  If it hasn't stopped in the morning, I'll deal with it then.  Your arm too," she told Fujiko.  It was an old graze that was swelling for some reason.  She yawned again.  "Anything else?"

"Nope," Lupin told her, ruffling her hair.  "Go back to bed, Dawn."

She smiled at him. "Only if you guys keep it down."

"We will be going back to our own beds," Goemon told her.  She nodded and headed back, closing and then reopening her door so she could kick David back out.  He was a really good sneak, none of them had seen him.  Goemon laughed.  "He is very skilled in that area."

"He is," Lupin agreed, grinning at the boy. "Your own bed.  Try to sleep with her when you're not doing something."

"Yes, sir," he said miserably.  "She's my only desire, why can't she see that?"

"Because she doesn't want to," Fujiko told him.  "Trust me, she's ignoring it with everything in her will."  He nodded, going back into his room and closing the door.

"You did?" Lupin asked.

"Hell yes," she retorted, frowning at him.  "That's not the point.  What happened to Dawn so I can start to work on her?"  The men shrugged and she sighed.  "Something happened to the girl."

"You mean besides the fact that she's had to accept that she's not normal, her sister is the biggest and baddest in the world of demons, and that everyone saw her as helpless most of her life?" Lupin asked.  "Or was it something else, like how she managed to get Xander free?"

Fujiko shuddered.  "I understand.  She's exactly like Xander, only with internal injuries instead of the external scars.  They're mirror images."

"Which is why they get along so well," Goemon told her.  "Let them work it out.  They know they can trust us.  Xander has made great progress in opening up about what has happened to him recently.  She will as well."

"Only time can heal some wounds and make injured animals come out to seek help," Lupin said wisely.  "Let's go to sleep.  Tomorrow's the big day and we'll need it."  They broke up, heading back to their rooms.  He and Goemon locked eyes across the living room and he nodded, grinning at him.  There was no animosity or desire left between them.  Lupin closed and locked his door, laying down to try and sleep.  Those kids needed parents.  Real parents.  He'd have to finish his exploration into Xander's mundane life.  His parents were still living but he had never said a word about them.  Why?

***

Lupin, Dawn, and Goemon snuck through the office doorway, then Xander moved past them to destroy the security office.  As soon as the camera above them went off, they moved into the main museum.  There was a working camera in each room and they were careful to stay away from them.  They got to the room they needed easily, and Goemon released the problematic painting once Dawn had rerouted the power.  Lupin got the other one off the lock strip with a little lock picking.  Dawn started to work on the next one, magicing the lock open.  He nudged her and nodded to the next room.  They had enough time to get that piece too; it would be better not to leave it in the wrong hands.

She jogged that way, checking for the working camera.  Most of the ones were working in there.  She whispered something, holding a hand up.  Black fog floated up in front of them and she headed for the magic pendant.  The case was easily broken and she took it, holding it in her hand.  It wasn't that powerful but it still tingled.  Sunlight activated then.  She looked at the rest of the room, looking at Xander as he joined them.  "Well?" she asked.

"Go for it if it's all right," he said with a shrug.

"Dawn," Lupin hissed.  She looked at him and he shook his head, coming in to take the tempting pieces.  It was too good to miss.  They came out and found Xander looking at a painting in the 'fantasy room'.  Lupin gave him a light shove.

Xander shrugged and decided he liked that one but not enough to steal it.  He followed them out, his gun in his hand.  It was loaded with tranq darts today.  There was one guard huddled in the front entrance calling someone on the phone.  He darted him as he led the way out.  He was the only one with the distance weapon.  He kicked open the locked door, letting them out and setting off the extra alarms.  "Let's go," he ordered, pointing at the car.  He followed them down the stairs, looking around for cameras, people, or other oddities.  He did fire at an early-arriving cop, hitting him in the arm.  The guy fell, never having fired the gun he was pulling.  He got into the back.  "Move," he ordered calmly.  Jigen drove off, heading back to the hotel.  His and Lupin's bags were in the trunk, they'd be taking the car with them after everyone was safely off.  Zenigata would follow Lupin, leaving the others in relative peace.  On the way back, they stopped at a shipping place and the paintings were quickly released and rolled up, made to look like they were collectible posters.  The shipping guys never even looked or asked.  The guns were unloaded and sent ahead as well, he'd get them on the other side so Jigen would only have to worry about his personal weapon. The explanation given was a con, they were props.  The guy was a fandom geek and he accepted that.  He and Xander talked Babylon 5 for a few minutes while the forms were all filled out and signed.  Then they left, taking everyone back to the hotel.

Lupin got in to drive, waiting until their crew was on the elevator.  "You could have taken that one," he said as they took off again.

"Why?  It wasn't that pretty.  It was more a portal and I didn't want it hanging around."

"Someone who knows might buy it."

"It already belongs to someone who knows." Xander shifted.  "The name underneath was Giles' archnemesis.  I'm sure Mr. Chaos will reclaim it someday for a good purpose, mostly to cause Giles trouble."

Lupin smirked.  "Fine.  Xander, I noticed you can do magic.  How strong are you?"

"I'm linked into the powers of the asshole who changed me.  Why?"

"Does it hurt you to use it?"

"No, it bothers me to use it," Xander said honestly.  "Why?"

"Simply wondering.  It's something we might need to rely on some day and I'd rather know all your strengths."

"Well, gee, did you ask Goemon yet?  He swears I'm better than I think I am."

"He did say that," Lupin agreed, turning onto the interstate.  They had an hour to get to the airport to begin their hour wait there.  "He also told me privately that you have something that can make you lose it during a battle."

"Geez," Xander complained.  "Tattletale.  I haven't done that in years."

"He said you did it during a practice on David."

"I didn't.  I didn't lose it near enough to count," he defended.

"Fine," Lupin agreed.  "Be straight with me.  What can and can't you do?"

"I'm not that talented, I'm cursed," Xander told him.  "That's all.  I can sense demons.  I've got some sway with them.  I can fight a little.  I shoot really well.  I can even rebound one if I need to and shoot around corners.  Jigen and I were working on that recently."  He shrugged.  "I don't know what you want me to say, Lupin."

"That's fine, Xander."  Now he knew, Xander didn't consider that he was skilled.  While it might happen during a fight, it wouldn't be something that they could count on until the boy would admit to himself that he could do it.

***

Lupin led Xander into the small clinic, smiling at the secretary. She never seemed to age.  "Morning," he said quietly.  She stood up and led them back to a room, leaving them in there.

The doctor came back to join them a few minutes later.  "Lupin," he said, shaking his hand.  "And this is?"

"Xander," he said, shaking his hand, then bowing.  "He wants to know if you can heal some of the open wounds I have."

The man looked at him.  "I probably should not.  What did you do to earn them?"

"I was gifted against my will," Xander said plainly.

The healer nodded.  "Then you are worthy of my skills.  Undress.  Do you want him to leave?"

Xander sighed.  "I think it's about time he learned the whole truth."  He took off his clothes, carefully putting them on the chair.  Then he said a small chant as he lifted off a pendant no one ever saw.  All the marks on his body became clear.

"You are he," the healer said, nodding.  "I will do what I can.  It will help redress the balance a little."  He turned Xander around, looking at his thighs.  "I can mostly close them and smooth some of the remaining pain."

"I don't feel pain," Xander told him.

The healer looked at him.  "Then you need more help than I can give, but I will do what I can."  He put the boy onto the bed and laid a hand over his heart.  "Your hand, Lupin.  I will need more energy."

"Suck at mine," Xander ordered.  "Leave him out of it."

"I don't mind, kid."

"I do.  It could bind you to me," Xander told him.  He opened his touch of power, letting the healer grab it.  "Use whatever you can of it.  He should pay."

The healer nodded, starting his work on the boy.  It would be a long process and he would be going home after this.

The Mask

Lupin looked out at the sand dune in front of them, then at the boy standing behind him.  "You still okay?"

"I'm fine.  I grew up next to the desert," Xander reminded him.  "Death Valley has nothing on this but still."  He walked up to the rise of the dune, looking at the compound below them.  "Which one first?"

"Try the thermal imaging first," Lupin told him.  "It'll probably be useless but we can filter out the desert later."  He set up his own camera, watching to make sure no one was watching them.  "We did remember to put in all new discs, right?"

"I did," Xander said, grinning at him.  "You?"

"I'm pretty sure I did," Lupin admitted, turning to take a few pictures of this place.  His was an x-ray camera.  A nifty new spygear thing he had funded.  It had paid off very well for him.  "Interesting.  There's an extra tunnel."  He took another picture of the tunnel, then glanced back at the compound.  "How many more?"

"Two," Xander said, setting up the second one.  "I suck at the techno stuff.  This should be Dawn."

"The more you know, the more useful you are on jobs," Lupin reminded him.  He glanced behind him, there was a jeep coming up behind them.  "We've got company."

Xander glanced back there then pulled something out of his pocket, exploding a small packet of tacks onto the sand.  "Watch out when we turn around.  I laid out the tacks."  He went back to setting up, letting Lupin get the third one.  The people behind them let out a sudden explosion as a tire popped and then there was the sound of a crash.  He got out of the way, letting him take the pictures he wanted.  "Get one of the turret too.  I swear there's a gun up there."

"All right," Lupin agreed, taking that picture as well.  He took the last camera, using it quickly.  Then they got everything packed up and back to their jeep.  The other guys were turned over in the sand.  Xander darted them before climbing in.  "You're violent today."

"I have a headache.  I'm not used to the sun anymore," Xander said with a shrug.  He checked on their gear, climbing back while the jeep was moving to retie a strap that was blowing around.  He popped back into his seat, looking at his boss.  "Sorry, but I don't really understand the techno stuff," he reminded him.

"That's okay.  I would have had to do it all by myself if it had been Jigen or Goemon.  They would have handed me stuff.  At least you got it set up on tripods for me."  He reached over and patted the young man.  "How many more treatments?"

"Just the one while you're picking up Dawn.  Remind her about the whole 'head scarf' thing too.  I doubt she'll like it but it is necessary."

"Yeah, I had forgotten.  Fujiko once walked through Morocco in a red leather two-piece outfit that showed the majority of her skin without one.  We're lucky she wasn't arrested or kidnaped."  He turned onto the main road, speeding up further.  "That's this afternoon, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Meet us back at the hotel."

"Yes, sir," Xander said happily.  He was feeling much better these days.  "I wonder how Dawn's heist went."

"I'm sure she got what she wanted," Lupin said with a small smirk.  She was too good to get caught most of the time.  "It was some pretty stuff."  He turned into the bazaar, letting Xander get out with their stuff.  That went into their hotel room then Xander hiked to the clinic for another treatment.  While Lupin drove off, heading to the airport to pick up Dawn.

***

Xander bowed to the receptionist.  "I'm here for my last treatment," he requested respectfully.  He had seen her take out some punk wanting drugs the week before, he respected her abilities.

"The doctor is not in today," she told him.  "He had an emergency summons."  He slumped.  "He left you a message."  She handed the folded paper over, watching as he read it then wrote out the hotel name for him.  "Thank you."  She taped it down and put it into her desk drawer.  "I wish you peace and health," she said.

"May Allah grant you the same and less strife than I've had," he agreed, grinning at her.

She laughed. "Continue and you will soon sound like a native."

"Good."  He walked out, heading back to the hotel.  He walked up to the receptionist there.  "I am expecting an old friend looking for me.  If someone comes for me by the name Xander, please let him up," he requested.  The young man nodded.  "He is a doctor if it matters."

"The one in the bazaar?"  Xander nodded.  "I know of him, I will tell the night shift person if he is late."

"Thank you.  Are the other rooms we've rented ready?"  He nodded.  "Thank you.  One of our party is coming in today and the rest in two days."  He bowed and headed up to their room so he could take a sponge bath.  It was really hot here.  Hotter than he'd ever felt in Death Valley.  He was really starting to hate sand.

***

Lupin looked at the gate, smirking as Dawn came off in disguise, with a scarf already over her hair.  He waved at her and she nodded, walking toward him.  A guard stopped her and she pointed at him, leading him over.  "Problems?" he asked, kissing her on the cheek.

"He thinks I'm local.  I can't travel without permission of my husband if I am," she said sweetly.

"We are here to study the language," Lupin said in flawless Arabic.  "She is my graduate assistant."  The guard sighed and walked off, going to bother the people getting on the plane.  "Luggage?"

Dawn squealed and went back to pick it up, bringing the three bags back.  "Sorry, I was a little distracted.  This wig itches," she complained quietly.  He laughed but helped her store everything.  "No Xan?"

"He's supposed to be at the doctor's.  If not, he's back in the room resting from the heat."  He got in to drive, glancing at her.  "Buckle up.  The road is very rough."  She did so.  "He reminded me to remind you about the head scarf issue."

"I was reminded on the plane by a steward."  She took off the wig, stuffing it into her purse then put back on the scarf.  "There, how's that?"

"Looks more like a veil but fine," he agreed.  "We'll have to get you some authentic clothes since this is your first time in.  The all-covering outfit comes in handy sometimes."  He pulled onto the main road, taking her back to the hotel.  "I've put you in the room with us.  The desk clerk thinks you're my daughter-in-law and that Xander is your husband.  Try not to irritate him in public."

"Sure, Lupin."  She twirled the end of one of her curls around her index finger.  "I not only pulled it off, I got a lot of pretty stuff, which Fujiko got very jealous of.  I mailed most of it to my safety deposit box before I went back but she *really* wants the blue diamond I found.  I have that on me, just in case."

He chuckled.  "Of course she does.  Fujiko *loves* diamonds."  He pulled into the bazaar, parking behind their hotel.  "Ready?"  She nodded, getting out to grab two of her bags, following him respectfully inside.  He nodded at the receptionist.  "This is my daughter-in- law," he announced.  The desk clerk nodded at her and handed over an extra key.  "Thank you.  My son?"

"Is upstairs.  The doctor is busy and should be by later."

"Good.  Thank you."  He tipped the man and headed up to their room, letting her go inside first.  "We're back!"  He locked the door, putting her bag down so she could figure out where to put it.  "Dawn, you pack more than anyone I know," he told her as he headed for the illegal liquor stash they had imported.  He could use a drink while he relaxed.

"Hey, I could always keep your portion," she said dryly, hands on her hips.  She grimaced, tapping her foot.  "One's my working stash, my herbs and books, plus my gear bag.  One's my clothes.  One's your cut of the last job."

He grinned at her.  "Buy a bigger suitcase."

"I don't want my working stuff anywhere near most of my clothes, they might contaminate each other."  She flopped down on the couch.  "Xander, why haven't you come out and kissed your wife yet?"  Her answer was silence.  "Uh-huh."  She stood up and headed to the bathroom, tapping on the door before opening it.  "He's not here?"

Lupin shrugged.  "He should be.  The receptionist said he was back already because the doctor wasn't in."  He stood up and checked all the rooms, finding Xander laying on the floor beside one of the beds with a letter on his back and a new wound on his side.  "Whoever did it again," he said, getting out of her way.

Dawn took the note, taking it with her as she created a portal with her blood.  "What the fuck do you think you're doing!" she demanded, waving it.  "How dare you touch him!"  The demon looked at her and laughed.  Dawn glared at him.  "Our deal still stands, asswipe.  If you touch him, you are in default of it.  That means you are hereby a legal target."  She raised a hand, created a bright light.  "Your choice." The demon mumbled something and Dawn found herself back in the room.

"It's healed," Lupin told her.  He got shoved out of the way.  "Hey!"

"Tough."  She knelt beside him, laying a hand over the former wound.  She healed it herself, the demon had only healed the first few layers of the skin.  "I will kill her," she growled.

"Later," Lupin reminded her.  "She's not here."

"No, she's not," Dawn agreed, calming down.  She took a few deep breaths, then shook her head.  "I can't do this yet."  He handed over his phone. "What's this for?"

"Call Goemon.  He's the master of self-control."  Dawn gave him a 'get real' look.  "He does understand, Dawn.  He's felt that same rage at other beings.  You'll have to let it add up until you can get back to her again."

"Yeah, maybe I will," Dawn admitted, looking at the phone.  "Giles won't allow me in the shop, Willow's never invited me to her home.  I don't know what their places look like."  She looked at Xander's bare back then at their boss again.  "If I knew somewhere that intimately, I would go and then come back really quickly."

"Call Goemon, let him talk you down for now.  A good plan is always better than rushing in hot and emotional," he reminded her, sounding calm and yet very wise, like he had been there in the past.  Which he had, a few times.

She slumped then nodded.  "Yes, Lupin."  She went out to the couch, calling the matching cellphone.  "It's me," she said softly.  "Can you please put Goemon on?  Because Lupin is right, I need emotional control right now.  Before I destroy half the city looking for Willow."  She gave a heartless chuckle.  "Of course I'd save you guys.  Maybe not anyone else, but definitely you guys."  The person on the other end changed.  "Hey, Goemon.  I need to calm down and I can't.  No, Willow found a way around my deal to keep Xander free.  He got taken momentarily.  The demon's going to be dying soon but I want to destroy the city you're in so I'm sure to get Willow."  She looked down at her lap.  "I know it's wrong, but it's an emotion.  Rage is like that."  She took a deep breath.  "Yes, sir.  I'll try."  She smiled at the wise comment from the other end.  "Yes, Goemon.  I'll do my best."  She hung up and got onto the floor, getting comfortable.  She had to release it for now.  She could bring it back later.

Lupin got Xander onto the bed, looking him over.  "I will kill her," he muttered.  "If I can beat Jigen to her."  He covered the young man, making sure nothing else was bleeding, then went to check on Dawn.  She was still there, it would be fine.  For now.

***

Goemon hung up and looked at the person who had answered the phone.  "Do not share that information.  I will tell them myself," he told David, who nodded, shivering at the sudden feeling going up his back.  "It will be fine.  If not, we will make it so."  He stood up, heading out to the balcony.  This room was much nicer.  "Jigen, a word," he said, closing the door.  The other man looked at him, sucking on the candy cane.   "The redheaded witch found a way around Dawn's deal."

"Is he all right?"

"Dawn is in a full rage.  She said he was there.  Whether or not he is injured may be up to interpretation."  He handed over the phone.  "Lupin is with them."

"And we're here with the witch," Jigen reminded him.  He looked at the phone.  "Should I butt in?"

"Do you feel the same rage?"

"Every minute I look at the scars and remember what I read and what he's told me," the older man admitted, looking at the street again.  He flipped open the phone and hit the memory dial.  "Is he fine?"  He relaxed a little.  "You're sure?  You checked him everywhere?"  He gave a disgusted snort.  "No, I didn't expect you to.  Yeah, well," he said finally.  "Sure.  Should I do something to give Dawn a placement?"  He laughed.  "Fine.  Take my fun."  He hung up.  "We're leaving her alone until Lupin and Dawn come back in a few months.  Until then, we're adding to the tally."

Goemon nodded.  "I agree with that.  She has much to answer for, but more should be found out about her."

"I think we can do that," Jigen reminded him, looking over his shoulder.  He pointed at Marcus, then waved him outside with them.  "We need to start a real tally for this Willow person.  Give, kid."

Marcus sighed and closed the door.  "Where should I start?  Back in high school when Giles said she stole books?  When she and Xander kissed a few times and it destroyed him because everyone blamed him?"

"Why would they blame him?  She was involved from the way you said that," Goemon pointed out.

"Because she was supposedly some sweet and nice little girl who never did anything wrong and babbled when she got nervous," Marcus said bitterly.  "So they blamed Xander."  He groaned and stretched.  "Then she got more into the magic stuff.  It got worse and worse.  She was using it for everything.  I know she did a memory spell against her girlfriend at the time.  I know she nearly killed everyone on the planet about six years ago," he admitted.

"Would that be a night where it felt like there was an earthquake of the soul?" Goemon asked.  Marcus nodded.

"What was she doing?" Jigen asked.

"She was in pain; her girlfriend, Tara, had just been killed.  She was so in love with the pure witch.  Tara was a sweetheart. If you look at her daughter, you see that same gentle and nurturing spirit."  He sighed, shaking his head.  "But even Tara got fed up with her and told her to quit or else.  She left.  They were working it out and had just gotten back together when she was killed.  Willow went insane.  A year earlier she had released Buffy from Heaven and brought her back to life.  She tried the same thing with Tara and was denied.  By then, her magic addiction was so bad that she went and sucked a lot of dark magic, killed someone by magically flaying him of all his skin at once, then pulled up a hellgod's temple to destroy the world."

He scratched his eyebrow.  "Xander stopped her."  Jigen's mouth fell open and he lost his candycane.  "And they still didn't see what he was doing.  Dawn saw, she encouraged Willow to get help.  Everyone else was just nervous around her.  Xander back then, according to what I've heard, was wonderfully forgiving.  He was a goofy, fun guy who was *there* when you needed him, no matter what you needed.  Then the apocalypse happened.  He lost his eye.  They entered hell's waiting area.  Saved the day for the sixth or seventh time.  They evacuated to LA.  Willow went with Buffy when she came here.  Xander stayed in LA to help them because Willow said something before she left about him not being needed there.  They had all the potentials.  Then my father, the person who created me and then left me with the Watchers, ran into a problem too big to be researched.  Instead of breaking down the problem, he found a spell that would allow him to make a major plea."  He swallowed.  "Dawn had come back for a safety thing.  Buffy was handling another big demon and wanted her out of the way.  Dawn found out what he was doing and tried to stop my father.  Willow came when Wesley called and helped him gift Xander.  And then you know the rest," he said sadly.

"So she was responsible?" Goemon asked.

"Partially.  She was the heft behind the calling.  She didn't even ask why.  Her thing has always been 'hey, neat, we can play'," he said mock-cheerfully, trying to imitate her.  "My father told her it was necessary to save the world and she didn't even check to see if there was another way.  She cried after the fact."

"Why did he try to help her?" Jigen asked.  "If she turned on him that way, I would have dumped the bitch."

"So would I, but they grew up together," Marcus said sadly.  "They had known each other all through school.  Xander has always been blind to her.  Even today, if she needed it, he might still go running to help her if it was bad enough."  He shrugged.  "It sucks but it is."

"It does," Goemon agreed, arms crossed and a scowl already on his face.  He looked at Jigen.  "Has the woman not learned self control from all this?"

Marcus snorted. "No!  Willow, learn self control?  That's nearly laughable.  That would be like Buffy appreciating people who are helping her.  But there is one who will help you in their little group if you tell her you're helping Xander."  Both older men looked at him.  "Faith.  The other senior slayer."  Goemon raised an eyebrow.  "Think Dawn, only formerly bad. A very tough street bitch from the old school and from the Northeast.  Faith regrets Xander.  She not only used him but she tried to kill him once right after she went bad.  Last I heard, she had written him a letter saying she could help him regain his white light tendencies."

Jigen snorted.  "Yeah, because he needs to go back to *them*."

"She never said to return, she said she would help him refind his center and his white knight lifestyle.  She knows what their side lost in him.  Xander is one hell of a fighter in a fight.  He will literally jump into the middle of a situation without a weapon and expect to win. That man has my eternal respect even if he turns into Chuck Manson because he managed to survive on the hellmouth for nineteen years with only a broken arm, some minor cuts and bruises, and a very damaged ego."

"She was the only one he could count on," Jigen stated.  Marcus nodded.  "What about that Buffy creature?"

"She came in during their tenth grade.  She was there to do her duty and he helped.  He jumped in first thing.  His first kill was his best friend because he had been vamped.  He was saving a woman he hated at the time."  He turned and walked back inside so he could find the sundae he had hidden in the back of the mini-fridge.  He needed ice cream, it would help with the depressed feelings.

Jigen looked at Goemon.  "You want me to handle this?"

"No.  I want us to handle it.  As a group.  Perhaps her confession will help him heal some."  He shut the door again.  "No wonder the boy will not trust."

"The boy's parents weren't any better, Goemon.  His parents were dirtbags too."

"Then she was his only support with that other friend.  The damage goes deep.  He trusts you."

"He does," Jigen agreed, knowing he had the boy's absolute trust.  Lupin nearly had it, and may have it since they'd spent the last week together.  "Do we do this now or later?"

"I do not know.  I do know that we do not tell my wife.  The woman will go insane and want to blow things up."

"So do I," Jigen pointed out.

"There are infants involved.  We must be wary of hurting those who do not need punished."  He went inside to meditate and release the incredible anger he felt.  That explained Xander to him, and now he knew why the boy was so skittish of him.  He must seem very strange to him and Dawn.  "Marcus, was Dawn there for most of that?" he asked quietly.

"Dawn appeared the year before Buffy died the second time," he said between bites of his sundae.  "They gave her memories from the time.  She saw the worst of it first hand."  He looked over the back of the couch.  "That's why she'll defend Xander to the death."

Goemon nodded.  "It is understandable."  When one only had one single friend, one did not let them go for anything.  It was a survival instinct.  He wondered briefly if Lupin had seen it yet but then remembered the children trusted him more.  They trusted Jigen because Xander did.  Dawn had accepted him solely on that reference.  Jigen vouched for them and Lupin was making his way into their confidence.  They would give him hints and let him work it out for himself.  Himself, they would be wary of for a very long time until they could figure him out.  He was not something they had run into before probably.  Someone with a duty, yes, someone with a calling, no.  Fujiko would probably never be fully accepted and unwatched.  She would have to make her own way in that matter.  He let the questions flow through his mind and leave again.  He needed to be calm.  It was the better way to think.

***

Lupin sat up as Dawn came out of her meditation.  "You okay now?" he asked quietly.  She nodded, not looking at him.  "Dawn?"  She looked at him.  "Tell me," he encouraged.  "We only want to help you and Xander.  If we can make any of this easier, we will."

She curled her knees up and put her arms around them.  "I doubt you can," she told him.  "Willow was one of Xander's two lifelines.  The other he had to kill to save Cordelia.  She turned on him time and again and he kept coming back."

Lupin nodded, shifting closer.  "What can I do to help both of you?"  She shrugged, putting her chin on her knees.  He sat next to her, pulling her into his arms to hold her.  He hadn't seen this side of the girl before.  "It's all right," he promised.  "We like Xander for who he is and what he can do.  We appreciate him the same way we do you."  She looked at him, grimacing.  "Really.  We do like you both.  You're both very special people.  We like having you around.  We like teaching you."

"You're mad because of this?" she asked.

He nodded.  "Yeah.  What did you expect?"

"Buffy laughed," she told him.

"Then she needs her ass killed."

"Again?  Do you honestly think Willow won't bring her back this time too?"

Lupin snorted.  "Who said she wouldn't be joining her?" he asked dryly.

She pulled back, looking at him.  "You want to hurt both of them for us?"  He nodded.  "Why?"

He sighed.  "You don't understand this and it's their fault, I know it is.  People who care for you like you're their family want to hurt those who hurt you.  Spousal abusers are often taken out by fathers and brothers.  This is just a worse version of this.  Jigen is like Xander's father now.  He's like my little brother, the same way you're like my little sister."  He pinched her on the nose.  "I'd be surprised if Goemon wasn't still meditating to get rid of the anger."

"But...."  She shook her head.  "He only tolerates us."

"No, he likes you guys.  If he didn't, he would have left a while ago.  Trust me, the man likes to leave situations instead of fight.  Unless he gets to pull his sword, battles are different from personal fights."

"Not in our world," she told him.  She wiped her cheeks off.  "You can't possibly understand."

"I do understand some of it.  I was gifted with Xander's book."  She opened her mouth.  "He let me read it, Dawn.  Jigen's read it too.  It's now locked in our safe.  If Xander asked, we'd destroy it."  She relaxed back into his arms again.  "Plus, I've done some checking on both of you.  You're both so very different from who I'm used to working with.  I didn't want to make any mistakes."  He stroked her back slowly.  "I know things about all four of you that no one else thinks about.  I know how big Xander was when he was born.  I know about his school record.  I know very well about his disciplinary record.  I know something of what went on.  He titled the thing correctly, 'that which screwed me up' was a brilliant title."  She nodded.  "I want to remind you that you can talk to me.  Or us.  I wouldn't actually go to Fujiko about any of this, but I'm here and Jigen's had a bad past of his own.  Goemon was an orphan to his sensei most of his life.  We know what it's like to be alone."

She nodded, putting her chin back down.  "You know I'm The Key.  The Monks who had been protecting me foresaw their own deaths and sent me to Buffy, making me from her," she said quietly, letting it all go.  He would understand.

***

Jigen answered the phone.  "Yeah?"  He smirked.  "Really.  Thanks.  Yeah, have her wait in the bar."  He hung up and looked at Goemon.  "Faith's here."  He raised an eyebrow and looked at the younger boys.

"Wasn't us," David told him, turning the page on his magazine.  "Faith works in mysterious ways.  The Powers like her."  He turned the page past the tampon ad.  "Have fun. Don't let her grab you."

"Gee, thanks.  What does she look like?" Jigen asked.

"Dawn, only as a street bitch," David told him.  "Dark hair, leather jacket, jeans."

"Thank you."  Goemon joined him going out the door and down the stairs.  They walked into the bar together, finding the young woman quickly.  She had dressed up.  She was in a pantsuit.  "Faith?" he asked.  She nodded, leading them to a table.  "Why are you here?"

"Because Willow just fucked Xander over again and I thought someone should check on him."  She glanced around, then got comfortable.  "Some of us saw that Xander could've gone this way long ago.  B never saw it.  Willow never saw it.  Wesley did but he ignored it.  Angel doesn't want to know.  There's bad history between them for a few reasons."  She waved the waitress over.  "Can I have a cherry coke?"  The waitress nodded.  "Get whatever you want.  First round's on me."  She put a twenty on the table.

Jigen smirked at her.  "Don't worry, I can get ours and yours.  We make more money."

"Probably true," Faith agreed.  The twenty disappeared.

"Sake," Goemon requested.

"Scotch, single cube," Jigen ordered.

Faith smirked at the waitress.  "You gotta love people who know what they want."  The woman walked off and Faith shifted until she was facing them again.  "So, you're training Xander and Dawn.  I've done research on you guys.  You guys know the score and have balls.  You also seem to care of the kids or else they wouldn't be with you.  I like that in protectors.  Because Xander will need one some day soon.  When he finally lets it all go, there's going to be a storm."  Their drinks were brought back and she paused.  When the waitress was gone, she looked at Goemon again.  "You look like the guy who tried to teach me martial arts so I know you're in control.  Can you handle someone who's lost *everything*?"  He nodded, staying silent.  "Good.  You've got two of them on your hands.  Marcus and Xander.  David's found his spot and he's happy from what little I've seen of him.  Marcus is still wandering around wondering why he's capable of doing more than translating things.  Xander is a warrior and always will be.  Only now he's an injured one who's seen three too many battles and the war isn't over yet."

"You want him out of the life?"

"No, I want him healed so he can go back to the life he wants.  Which is with you guys," she admitted.  "Xander is Mr. Stubborn when he wants to be."  She took a sip of her coke.  "Not to be crass, but the demon enjoyed his fighting back while it lasted.  Oh, he's got something coming if he tries again.  Giles suddenly felt guilt and called Ethan to do something about the situation.  So if the dark-haired guy who radiates chaos shows up, it's him."  She took another sip, looking at Jigen.  "Is he any good?"  He nodded.  "Good.  I love Xander.  I didn't know what I had before I tossed him aside.  If I had, I would have clung to him.  He would have been able to heal me.  If he ever needs the favor returned, I'll do my damndest.  I can't guarantee I'll make it all the way.  That boy's sucked up darkness from day one.  He never broke when he was depressed.  He didn't break when he was captured and used twice.  He didn't break when his best friends turned on him.  He didn't even break while the demon had him.  His spirit broke but he didn't.  The boy has nothing and now it's going to hit him.  Now that he feels safe."  She took another sip, staring at Jigen.

"I've got his back," he told her.

"Good.  Otherwise I'll take you out myself.  He doesn't need more people who'll turn on him.  The same as he doesn't need someone who'll 'dad' him all the time to get over it.  The key to Xander is patience.  And occasionally a good pair of handcuffs," she admitted with a grin.  "Otherwise he'll fidget until you want to smack him around."

"Feeding his caffeine habit helps that," Goemon noted, sipping his sake.

"Yeah, but it'll eventually get out of hand.  Xander's not quite a junkie for the stuff, but close enough.  I've heard he's went through two two-liters in a day while under stress.  Since then apparently he's learned how to handle stress and put it off until later."

Goemon nodded.  "He has.  You know more than you let on."

She snickered.  "Way to state the obvious.  Yeah, I know a lot more than I was there for personally.  Who do you think helped Dawn find the way to free Xander?"

Jigen sipped his drink.  "Xander's told us some of this on his own."

"Good.  Then he trusts you enough to test the water. Whatever you do, do not look at the boy with pity.  He'll walk out and leave.  He did it to me once.  That's when Willow tried to hunt him down and kill him.  Someone so very nicely suggested I should have that honor since he was now tainted."

Jigen shook his head.  "He's not."

"No, he's not.  He has been hurt but he's not fully tainted.  The thing that had him would never do that to one of us. It's against the rules to harm us like that.  Kill us, turn us, maim us, but we can't be tainted that way. Otherwise, he'd be the grandson-in-law of Satan right now."  Jigen choked.  "Now you see the point.  Xander has on him things that can and will destroy anything like that.  The thing carved them onto his skin with its nails as a method of climbing the social ladder of hell."

"I've seen a few," Goemon said quietly, glancing around.  "You are very bland about it."

"I've learned to control my temper," Faith told him dryly.  "It had to happen sometime.  Prison does that to people.  Otherwise you die in solitary."  Jigen nodded.  "Xander is going to push his boundaries soon.  Not this week, not even with the most recent injury.  He'll sulk, he'll have nightmares, but he'll repress for a little longer.  Take him somewhere neutral.  Somewhere he's never heard of, never been, never wanted to be, and force him to take a vacation.  By the end, he'll have let it go."  She stood up.  "Thank you for your time, Gentlemen.  I wish you the best of luck and happy hunting.  I've got the kids.  Me and Ethan."  She nodded at them and then walked off.

Jigen sighed and slumped down.  "Where would that be?"

"India?"

"It's a good place to have a breakdown," Jigen admitted. "Most of Russia is too."

"He's never been near the snow before.  He said as much when we had some at the house."  He finished his drink.  "What do we do with this information?"

"We share it with Lupin.  He'll be worried about him if she was right and he was injured again.  We should do that now."

"We probably should," Goemon agreed, ordering another drink.  "Did you trust her information?"

"Yeah.  Her eyes were very upset.  She wanted to reach over and grab us to shake us."  Goemon shook his head.  "The grief over missing him was real enough."

"Good.  He probably deserves better."

"No, he definitely deserves better," Jigen corrected.  "She's on a repentance kick and hasn't accepted her actions yet."  He finished his drink and accepted his next one.  "Thanks."  He put down money, including a tip.  "Keep it."  The waitress smiled and left them alone.  "So?"

"I believe she has his best interests at heart but she never knew him that well.  She did get some of it right.  It is a slightly warped side of the puzzle."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."  He gulped his drink then called Istanbul.  "It's us.  We just met with someone very interesting.  Faith."  He laughed.  "He asked Dawn and she squealed."

"Good.  It is good to hear her happy again.  She must have been sulking."  He sipped his own wine, thinking about it.  No, the children would not understand him.  Not for a very long time, but they were slowly working to trust him.

Jigen nudged him.  "We still like you," he noted.  Goemon looked at him.  "It was kinda obvious, Goemon."  He listened to the squealing again.  "No, she gave us instructions on the care of your buddy.  How is he?"  He smirked.  "No, she said she and someone named Ethan have the kids."

***

Dawn gave off her most evil smirk.  "Good.  She and Ethan can do a lot better job than the evil bitches that were their mothers.  What else did she say?"  She laughed and shook her head.  "Fine."  She handed off the phone.  "I was ordered to cover my delicate ears."  She shifted away from him, watching him talk.

"So?" Lupin asked.  He smirked.  "Really?  Yeah, I know those names."  He laughed.  "Excellent. What did she suggest?"  He listened, nodding at each point.  "Agreeable.  Home or not?"  He shuddered.  "I don't think that'll help him.  We'll retire to the house after this.  I think being somewhere comforting will help more than anonymity.  Yeah, I'm sure.  Trust me, I do know the boy.  Of course.  If not, then I'll let you take him to Bali for the weekend?"  He laughed. "Fine.  Yeah, another day and then you're all here.  Have a good night."  He hung up.  "Do you think Xander will be fine for this job?"

"Yeah.  I think he'll be perfectly fine," Dawn told him.  "Why?"

"Faith suggested he'll need to break down soon."  He carefully put the phone aside.

"He might but I doubt it," she told him.  "He's got the will of iron.  If he breaks, we might need drugs to help him."

"Everyone has to break sometime.  Even the most forgiving person has limits, Dawn.  Even you."  She nodded, she knew hers.  "Even him."

"If he does, I'd let him do it in his own time," she told him.  "Do not force it.  Let him come to you.  Xander trusts you."

"The rest of you take your cues from him," Lupin reminded her.

"We do, all but Marcus.  He's clinging to Goemon because he can figure out what that spirit wants him to do."  She shrugged.  "I like you guys, more than enough to stay around and start to trust you.  For the most part.  To be truthful, I don't trust people fully anymore."

"I don't blame either of you for that," Lupin told her.  He shifted closer and gave her another hug.  "It'll be fine.  After this, we're heading back to the house.  We had planned for a short vacation somewhere warm but we can hold it off."

"No, go somewhere warm with all of us," Dawn told him.  "Xander doesn't cling to many things, he clings to people and ideals."

"Then maybe we'll be going to Bali after all," he said with a wicked grin.  "Bikinis all the time?"

"I'm sure it'll do a lot for you guys, but it won't do a thing for me," Dawn said dryly, grinning back.  "You guys can leer all day I'm sure."

"Even at you," he said, tweaking her ear.  "Xander, you up?" he called, hearing him moving around.

Xander opened the door.  "Who was that on the phone?"

"Faith went and jumped Jigen," Dawn told him, giving him a look.  "You okay?"

"Fine.  What did she jump him about?" Xander asked, leaning in the door frame.

"About how to take care of you," Lupin admitted.  "She thought you might like a vacation after this.  I was thinking either the house in France or in Bali."

Xander shrugged.  "I'm fine."

"She said you'd say that," Dawn told him.

"I was thinking some time off the training," Lupin told him.  "For everyone except Marcus, but the rest of us could take a break."  Xander shrugged.  "You don't care?"

"I'm good."  He came out, sitting on the couch.  "I'm not going to snap," he said calmly.  "I'm fine."

Lupin touched the bare leg.  "You're not, Xander.  I can tell it from your eyes."  The boy grimaced.  "Really.  Besides, I was in the middle of a vacation before Jigen called me to rescue you two.  I'd like to go back to the bikini watching."

"Bikinis?" Xander asked.

"Bali," Lupin told him, grinning brightly.  "Near the beach.  At the very least Dawn will be wearing one.  We'll take all her other clothes and hide them."  Xander grinned, nodding that he liked that idea.  "Plus, if you do manage to snap and blow, it'll be far away from others.  That way we can deal with it and help you through it.  No matter what, we're going to be here."

"Words and actions, Lupin.  I already knew that," Xander told him.  "And I'm still fine."  He stood up.  "When is the doctor getting here?"

"Not a clue," Dawn told him.  "Why didn't you go see him?"

"He had an emergency client," Xander said with a little grimace.  "Otherwise I'd have had my last treatment."  He looked down at his bare stomach.  "What do you think?"

"I like.  I missed the abs of doom," Dawn told him, giving him a small leer of her own.  "You used to come in from the site in either the world's most sweated on white t-shirt or no shirt and I used to sit and wait for you to come home."

"Yeah, I remember," he admitted with a grin of his own.  "Those were nice days."

"They mostly were," she agreed. "I could have used some changes.  Willow for one.  Oh!"  She stood up, grabbing his arm.  "Faith, when she jumped the bosses, said she has the kids and she took them to *Ethan*," she said with a devilish smirk.

He burst out in laughs, hugging her.  "Good.  They deserve it and he'll protect the little ones.  If not, she will.  What about Tara?" he asked, pulling back.

"I don't know."  She looked up.  "ETHAN!" she shouted.  He appeared, looking very confused.  "Little Tara?"

"She's going to the Watchers already but the one who has her is not training her," he said with a small smirk, crossing his arms to look at Xander.  "Come here, boy."  Xander gave him a look.  "You're missing a mark."

"What mark?  He put everything known to demonkind on my skin."  He moved closer, putting Dawn behind him.

Ethan drew on the boy's stomach with his fingertip.  "There should be one here. It would release the others to life."  He looked into Xander's eyes.  "You will be fine," he said quietly.  Xander nodded.  "I mean it."  He reached up and touched the boy's cheek.  "I know you will be fine.  He will be dying soon.  Faith has said so."  Xander tipped his head to the side, resting his cheek against Ethan's palm.  "Ripper is helping her because he was hurt by what happened.  He claims he did not know what they were planning.  That he helped Faith get information back to Dawn."  He looked at Dawn, who shrugged.  So he looked at Xander again.  "If that is true, then you'll leave him to me."

"I'd never take out Giles," Xander told him.  "He's not earned that sort of rage."

"Good."  Ethan gave him a light kiss.  "I am here if you need anything, Xander.  Dawn, you do need to finish learning your healing spells."

"We've got a healer helping him now," Lupin said, staring the other man down.  He was poaching his territory.  A very dangerous thing to do.  "You are?"

"Ethan Rayne."  He bowed and smirked.  "Lupin the Third.  An honor.  You've saved me a lot of problems by finding things that were vexing me so I could buy them.  I thank you.  That Egyptian mask would have been something that would have caused me no end of problems.  And this one by default because Ripper would have taken it from me."  He smirked at Xander again.  "You are free," he whispered, making something on his forehead.  "I free you from all keepers, my boy.  That and I gift you with what you need to heal."  He kissed him on the lips and backed away.  "Do not be afraid to use his skills.  You are their rightful master, even if they do make you ill to consider.  He deserves worse than you could ever do.  Worse than even I could do."  Xander relaxed, slumping back into Dawn's arms.  "Did you need anything, Summers?"

"A new book," she admitted.  "And some powdered horn."

He chuckled.  "I'll have a local distributor find you tomorrow.  Wear dark blue."  She nodded.  "Anything else?"

"What did you do to him?" Lupin asked.

"I protected the boy since we first met, when he became mine.  Until the town was destroyed he was protected by me. I admired his strength.  He was incorruptible.  Immaculate, beyond reproach, and unsullied by pain. What pain he had at that time was nothing like what he's seen since and even then he didn't let it mar him any.  So I took him and I protected him from it all."

"You slept with him and protected your possession," Lupin corrected.

Ethan smirked.  "A bit.  It was more than that.  There were powerful forces at work in that town during that time, young man.  Nothing at all like what is going on in other places.  The chaos of it called out to myself and those like me.  My mark on the boy saved the town many incursions by people like me.  It left him vulnerable in a few ways but not that vulnerable to most things.  Then Miss Rosenburg started to deal in things best left to those already turned from the light.  From the first, she tried to eat at my protections.  It did not work.  Xander was protected from her, even when she tried to end the world," he said calmly.  He could feel the person on the other side of the door.  It was a healer, a pure spirit.  He could hear this.

"I protected the boy even though she attacked him while he was stopping her.  Numerous times she attacked him and I took the brunt of the pain.  That is the nature of my protection for him."  He looked at Xander again, seeing the shocked look, and it made him happy.  "It kept you pure, Xander.  It was necessary.  You were the most good thing I had ever seen.  You balanced my own life by existing.  And then that twat did what he did.  I nearly went insane. *I* helped Faith find the spell that got sent to Dawn.  She did it out of her love for you.  She did it knowing what might happen and it was her choice.  If you berate yourself for that fact, it will weaken the bond of love between you.  She will never be yours, but she does love you."  Xander sat down on the couch, staring at him.  Ethan crossed his arms, looking at the boy.  "I took some of the pain of what you went through because we were still tied together.  When you got free, I got truly drunk on joy and healed a child's wing of a hospital in your name.  When they drove you off, I lost my temper and nearly destroyed Los Angeles.   All because of that twat and the vampire Buffy."  Dawn smirked at him for that pronouncement.

"Then you found safety and happiness.  I felt it happen.  You made a connection and found someone who would treat you correctly and guide you on your new path.  It makes me very happy that you've made your choice and you're comfortable with it.  Never hesitate to call me if you need me, but you are no longer mine.  You are his."  Xander shook his head. "Yes, you are, even if he doesn't sleep with you."  He glanced at Lupin, then back at the boy.  It was enough of a clue.  "For now, the healer is waiting to finish what little he can do.  I'll aid him all I can, as will Dawn.  You two are already bound in many ways."  He leaned down, kissing Xander again.  "Sleep," he whispered.  Xander collapsed, falling asleep.  Ethan looked at Lupin.  "Treat him well or face me, and I can bring things that you have never even had nightmares about to play with you.  You will not like your fate if you ever harm the boy."  He looked at Dawn and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.  "Leave your sister to me as well.  She did not know about this incident but she will be suffering for it.  Willow will be suffering most greatly.  I believe your people still there are going to have a talk with her, with the apprentice I've told to help them."  He held out a hand and Lupin shook it, sealing the agreement: Lupin would take care of Xander for him and Ethan would stay out of their way.  "If you ever need me, have one of them call.  If they can't, then we'll have to meet in England.  I don't often leave these days.  With that said, I was doing dishes."  He smirked and disappeared.

"That was Ethan," Dawn told him.  "I never knew that."  She looked at the sleeping Xander, then went to open the door.  "Hey, it is you," she said happily, letting him inside.  "Come on.  He's napping.  Ethan knocked him out."

"Of course he did.  This last bit of healing will be painful.  Ethan has helped all along by cleaning Xander's powers for him."  He picked the boy up, taking him back to the bedroom.  "Miss Summers?"  She followed, going to help him.

Lupin sat down, calling the other cellphone.  "Fujiko, give me Jigen.  I don't care."  So what if he was drunk?  "We just had the most interesting visitor.  Apparently you and Goemon had a plan to go after Rosenburg?"  He smirked.  "Expect help from an apprentice of Ethan Rayne's.  Yes, him.  No, he was our interesting visitor."  He looked toward the bedroom.  "No, he released the boy into our care.  He had been protecting him as much as he could.  Xander is stunned to say the least."  He smirked.  "Oh, I don't know.  Xander liked the idea of a real vacation and only Marcus doing any training."  He laughed.  "Sure.  I was thinking Bali.  It should be the end of the rainy season and the start of the tourist times," he pointed out.  "Yeah, that's fine with me.  Sure.  Did you want to wait for a day?"  He looked at the date on his watch.  "That's fine.  No, Fihad is in with him for his last treatment now.  Dawn's helping him and Ethan's been doing something to help clean him.  Yeah, he was a nice guy.  Surprisingly nice.  It was like a father giving his daughter over for the prom."  He laughed at the disgruntled comment.  "He thought you should take care of him, but he did tell Xander you probably wouldn't sleep with him."  He hung up on the string of invectives.  "My, what a mouth he has on him," he said with some amusement.  He got up to go watch, he didn't want to leave Xander alone through this.

***

Jigen and Goemon walked into the magic shop, looking at the redhead weeping on the center table.  "Rosenburg," he said coldly.  She looked up, wiping her eyes.  She stood up, glaring at them.  "We were sent to talk with you about your recent act against someone."  Everyone but one older guy behind the counter hurried out of the way.  "What gives you the right?"

"It balances out!" she said angrily.

"It does not," Goemon said, his hand already on his sword.  "It does not balance out.  Not in the least.  That is why you will pay punishment for eternity."  She sneered at him. He stepped closer.  "Not only has someone made sure that your children shall be slayers, but also their children and theirs afterwards if any should come from them."  She looked hurt.

Jigen flicked his hat back a little.  "Summers said so," he told her.

"Summers?  Buffy?"

"Dawn," he said flatly.

She snorted.  Then she was caught in a net from behind.  "Let go!"

"No.  My master said to come take you out," the woman sneered, glaring at her.  Willow looked at her, then gasped.  "Yes, Willow.  Me.  You sent me away thinking I couldn't do anything.  Ethan said I can, and now I do.  Great things.  We protect Xander.  Never touch him again."

The old man behind the counter spoke up.  "T...this is about X..Xander?" he asked.  Jigen looked at him and nodded.  "Is he all right?"

"He's fine, no thanks to you.  A real healer has taken care of his injuries."

"They had persisted this long," Goemon told him.  He looked at Rosenburg, fighting down his rage.  This corrupt...thing in front of him deserved no mercy but was the most foul thing he could ever dishonor his blade with.  "What shall we do with you?"

"Easy." Jigen pulled his gun and shot her in the shoulder, next to her neck.  "That.  Then we'll let her bleed to death, like she deserves.  It's not even a thousandth of what Xander went through but now he's safe.  Forever."  He turned and walked out, plucking Goemon's sleeve to make him go with him.  Before he could add more bullets to her body, because he was going to do so soon if he had to keep looking at her.

"Hopefully you will see the errors of your ways and repent before you are allowed to die," Goemon told her, turning and following his friend out to the car.

The witch was not so kind.  She tightened the net and sent a pulse of pain through it, making the other witch yell and writhe in pain.  "Good.  I hope you suffer."  She lifted her head.  "It is done!" she pronounced.  A portal opened and a blue skinned being walked out, leading a light being by the hand.  "It will corrupt her, Elder, please do not do that to her."

"She has requested this duty," the oracle told her.  She took the girl with her, sending her back to her master.

The spirit looked down at the bound witch.  "Oh, Willow," she sighed softly.

Willow started to weep.  "Tara," she pleaded.

***

Xander woke up from his treatment feeling very good.  It was the best he had felt in years.  He looked down at his body, finding most of the scars gone. His thighs were still scarred but not that badly. He could feel a few on his back where they rubbed against the sheet but most of his skin was perfectly smooth.  The tattoos were still there but that was fine with him.  He sat up, touching the scars on his thighs tenderly.  He could feel the skin!  He climbed out of bed and walked out into the main room.  "I can feel my thighs!" he said happily.

"Good," Jigen told him.

"That bikini brief is way worse than the loincloth," Dawn noted, going back to her hand.  She and Jigen were playing poker.  "Put on some clothes, Xander."

He walked over and hugged her.  "Thank you, Dawn."

"Hey, it's what buddies do," she said, grinning at him.  He whispered in her ear then went to find some clothes.  She laid down two cards.  "Two."  Jigen dealt her two new cards. She laughed and smirked at him.

Xander got dressed in clothes he hadn't been able to wear because they had shrunk.  He came out in the tighter pants, still smiling.  "When did you guys get here?"

"Late last night," Goemon told him.  "We were next door but we decided you should wake up soon."  He handed over a soda.  "You probably need that," he said dryly, getting out of the boy's way on the path to the bathroom.

"Thanks, love you too, man."  He drank it on his way to use the facilities.

"Hey, Xander," Dawn called. "Since those are nearly skin-tight should I plan on making good on my promise to buy you your first pair of leather pants?" she called.

"We're not in London and I doubt we could get any here," Xander called through the door.

Lupin came out of his room, dressed completely.  "I take it he's up?"  Everyone nodded.  "Good.  Then maybe we can get back to work.  Xander, hurry up."

"Coming, boss," he called.  He came out waving his hands.  "Sorry, we're out of towels."  He wiped his hands on the back of Fujiko's shirt.  She shrieked and tried to hit him but he smirked and swatted back, getting into a slap fight with her.

"You nasty thing," she said angrily.  "That's just sick!  Jigen, call off your dog!"

"Down, boy," Jigen ordered, smirking at him.  He had wanted to do that once.  Xander smirked and came over to deal for them.

Lupin shook his head.  The boy being playful was a good thing.  "Okay.  Are we done?"  Fujiko glared at him, flouncing out to put on a different shirt.  "Xander," he said, giving the boy a tolerant look.

"What?  She deserved it.  She looked!"  He gathered the spent cards and redealt, including himself this time.  "What are we doing about this mask thingy, boss?"

"That's the problem," Lupin admitted.  He waited until Fujiko came back in one of her nearly frontless tops, then sighed.  It was going to be one of those days.  "We've got a small problem. The fortress is just that, a fortress."

"What about that extra tunnel?" Xander asked.

"It's blocked in three spots," Lupin admitted.  "On the other side is the cavern where the water pipe ends.  There's an underground lake that they're getting water from.  It's freshwater and it refills itself from the local watertable."  He sat down, letting Xander deal him in too.  "If we go in that way, we'll have to go through that tunnel, go up the other, which is straight up without any handholds.  That would include a ninety-foot dive as well to make it into the water pipe and getting past the pumps."

"Isn't there an entrance to the cavern?" Dawn asked.

"There is.  It's nearly seven feet thick and pure steel.  Even Goemon can't cut through it in one swipe.  On the other side is the guard's barracks."  She grimaced and tossed down most of her hand, getting redealt from Xander.  Then she kicked him and glared at him.  He gave her an innocent look.

"No dealing from the bottom of the deck," Jigen ordered.

"I'm not," Xander defended.  "Is there any way we can get him and the mask out?  Or even just him and all his people and have him leave the mask behind with a light guard?" Xander asked.

"Possibly.  Three, Xander."  He discarded and accepted the other three.  He looked at the young man, noticing the innocent look he was giving.  "It's a good thing we're not playing for money."

"I watched his hand, he was dealing from the top of the deck," Jigen told him, putting down his hand.  "I'm out."  This was going to be an amusing match.  Dawn did the same with a big sigh.

Lupin and Xander locked eyes then he laid down his hand.  Xander laid down his, making Lupin groan. "How?"

"I played with drunks for most of my life," Xander told him.  "It's all in the shuffle."

Lupin laughed.  "I'll have to remember not to let you deal the next time."  He took the cards to shuffle this time, dealing to the four of them.  "I don't know if we can get him out of there.  He's not due to come out anytime soon.  He comes out a few times a year for some limited travel, the occasional award or meeting.  The local Don of the underworld has met with him a few times."  He shrugged.  "Ideas?"

"Isn't he a demon?" Dawn asked, putting down her cards.  This was her worst hand yet.  The guys obviously didn't want to play with her.  She leaned back to watch them.  "Can we get his cooperation?  The mask poses a threat to his position."

"We might be able to," Lupin agreed.  "I can't get a meeting yet."

Xander looked at him.  "Is he demonic?" Lupin agreed.  "Then let me."  He laid down his discard, looking at his boss.  "Four," he said smoothly.

Lupin swallowed and dealt to him, watching as the boy smirked as he rearranged his cards. "You're bluffing."

"Am I?"  Xander looked at him.  "This week's allowance on that?"

Lupin smirked and put down fifty on the table.  Xander did the same. Lupin took his discard.  Jigen opted out even though he had a good hand going.  "Lay 'em flat," he ordered.  Xander spread out his hand.  Lupin looked at the boy in shock.  "I didn't deal you that!"

"Prove it," Xander said smugly, taking the cash off the table.  "Thanks, boss.  I wanted to go shopping for a new knife in the bazaar later."  He tucked it into his pocket.

"Xander, it's not nice to cheat the boss," Dawn reminded him patiently.

"Prove it," he told her, smirking at her then at Lupin again.  "He could only know what he dealt me if he was stacking the deck."

Lupin put his hand down, shaking his head.  "Fine.  Do you have a card game you don't win?"

"Go fish," Xander said, standing up.  "Where is this Don?  When are his usual visiting hours?"

"Later tonight and he's in the center of the bazaar," Lupin told him.  "I'm going with you."

"Um, nope," Xander said, shaking his head.  "It'll look bad. You either, Dawn.  I'll be back later.  I know, no jewels on the knife.  I just want a scimitar."  He walked out, taking his jacket off the rack beside the door.

"I take it he has a plan?" David asked.

"Xander's mind is a strange place but he is a good planner," Dawn reminded him.  "Besides, he's got some credibility and power among the local demons."  She sat up again, looking at Lupin. "Teach me that," she told him.  "Xander won't."

He smirked at her. "Jigen does it better."  She shrieked and stood up, swatting at him, making him smirk at her too.  "We'll teach you that on vacation.  After this, we're all going to Bali for a vacation.  Unless Goemon and Fujiko wanted to go back to Japan for some privacy.  The house in Bali is pretty open."

Dawn looked at Fujiko.  "He's threatened to take away all my clothes unless they're bikinis."

"He's done it to me in the past," Fujiko admitted.  "What is the boy's plan?"

Lupin smiled at her.  "Don't worry, he'll be fine.  He's royalty to them."

***

Xander walked into the antechamber, nodding at the guard.  "Now," he said, pointing at the doors.  "I will speak with him alone."  His hair was loose and his jacket was unbuttoned.  His shirt was untucked and he looked fairly dangerous.  The demon looked at him and shook his head.  Xander took off his jacket, showing the least powerful of his 'encouragement' markings.  "Now."  The demon whimpered and got out of his way, pushing the door open for him.  Xander walked in, his jacket over his shoulder.  "Morning," he said softly.

The local Don looked down at him from his raised chair, looking confused.  "I do not know you."

"Yes you do," Xander told him, showing him the back of his hand.  The demon shifted uncomfortably.  "We need to talk.  One of your locals is irritating me to no end and I think he's doing it to you too."

"I have no locals who should have run into you, Sire," he said, looking away from the boy's white hair.  What had been done to this human?  "Who are you, by what name shall I call you?" he asked.

"You may call me Lavelle," Xander told him, calling a chair over and sitting down, getting comfortable.  "As for the local, he is an idiot.  Leave us," he ordered.  All the other demons left the chamber.  "Thank you."  The doors all closed, leaving them alone.  "The local who is bothering me is using a powerful artifact on the mundanes.  They have been shown the power numerous times if they're part of his household.  That is dangerous, isn't it?"

The Don looked down at him again, shifting again.  "I know of him.  You want the one who wears the mask?"  Xander nodded.  "What do you plan to do with him?"  Xander shrugged.  "Do you only want the mask?"

"I'd accept only getting the mask.  I don't particularly want my life jeopardized by him doing things like this.  Do you want to deal with a hunt? You're in a pretty fundamentalist area."

"I realize that.  I have always laid low."  He considered it.  "What would I get in consideration?"

"What would you like?"

"Your promise not to harm me and the knowledge of how you could."

"If I showed you, it would hurt you," Xander told him.

"I will accept that risk."

Xander stood up, working the buttons on his shirt.  "That's fine."  He turned around and let the shirt fall below his shoulderblades.  "You should recognize that.  That marking will cause pain and agony among you.  A mental throbbing from what I understand."  The demon moaned so he turned around, rolling up his left sleeve.  "This one causes a more physical pain I'm told," he said, showing off that mark.  He lifted the bottom hem on his left side and pushed down his waistband.  "I'm told if you see this one fully you will die a painful death instantly," he told him.  The demon shuddered and turned away from him.  Xander redid the buttons on his shirt then sat down.  "I am covered."  The demon looked at him.  "Now you know."

"I do know.  You are him?"  Xander nodded.  "And you survived?"

"And I am still living."  He leaned forward.  "All we want is a chance to take it from him.  My present teacher wants that mask eliminated from the general public.  I happen to agree because it's dangerous.  Do you have a problem with that?"

The demon licked his lips.  With the boy's hair falling around his face that way, he looked very tasty.  "I do not.  Actually, I do not like his current usages of the artifact."  He leaned closer.  "Who is your current instructor?"

"I may not divulge that to you," Xander told him.  "If I did, you would try to curry favor with him."

"Ah.  You are of Lupin the third's new brood.  Yes?"  Xander gave a one-sided shrug.  "Then you are their new marksman."

"I am," Xander told him, leaning back again, crossing his legs.  He knew it was tempting the demon but a lust-filled mind was not a clear one.  "What of it?"

"I would like to meet with your teacher, he has knowledge of something that I would like to have knowledge of."

"I'll see what I can arrange.  In return, you invite the man with the golden mask here for tea or something and ask him to bring the mask so you can examine it."

The demon chortled.  "I have done so other times, it will not even sound strange."  He licked his lips again. "You are quite young."

"And very uninterested in you," Xander assured him.  "Shall I call my partner?"

"Partner?"

"Dawn Summers."

The demon's eyes went wide.  "She is here?"  Xander nodded.  "Then I will do so upon the promise of trying to set up a meeting between myself and your teacher.  She may come if she wishes.  I have no desire to go against her.  She is infamous and deadly."

Xander smirked.  "That's what I like best about her."  He pulled out the phone he had swiped from the inn's room, dialing the other one.  The expected person answered.  "It's Lavelle," he said quietly.  "We've reached a small snag in the negotiations.  He wants to meet with the boss."  He hummed while the phone was handed over people.  "Hey.  He said you have knowledge of something he wants."  He looked at the demon.  "What did you want knowledge of?"

"The Mask of Infinity."

Xander put the phone back up to his ear.  "Did you hear that?  No, Mask of Infinity.  Isn't that a silver mask that grants immortality?" he asked the demon, some sparkle of memory lighting up in his head.

"Yes, I want it for my daughter," he admitted.

Xander listened, then shrugged. "I'll tell him."  He hung up. "Lupin said he might be able to help you find the pieces but it broke years ago and part of it was melted down by the Nazi's.  You know how they were."

The demon groaned. "I remember, they took it from us."  He sighed. "I had hopes.  Thank you.  I will summon him in three days.  How do I tell you when he agrees to come?"

"We're in the bazaar, at the old inn by the food stalls."  He stood up.  "Send me a message there.  It is a human establishment, but I believe you have humans on your payroll."  He smiled.  "Have a vampire turn her.  I hear it's not that bad."

The demon smirked.  "That is an idea," he agreed.  "Thank you.  May I do you any other services, Sire Xander?"

"I was hoping to buy one of those cute little curved daggers.  Do you know where they sell them?"

The demon snapped his fingers and someone came running.  He told it something and she backed out, coming back with a velvet box.  "Take one of my personal ones.  It will mark you as safe to all who do not know you on sight."  He handed it over reverently.  "Are you living the life now?"

"I plan on it," Xander told him.  "I am an excellent marksman after all."  He grinned and bowed.  "Thank you for your help.  I look forward to leaving you in peace once this is done."  He grabbed his jacket and walked out into the twilight.

The demon sighed in relief.  "Get me a scribe," he ordered his daughter.  "I need to write this one down."  She nodded and did so, also bringing him some opium for his headache.  "Ah, my child, thank you," he sighed, patting her on the head.  "We will get you fixed soon.  You have lost so much weight."  He told the scribe the tale while he smoked the small pipe.

***

Xander walked into the room, handing over the paper wrapped packages he had bought a few minutes earlier.  "I got dinner while I was gone."  He closed and locked the door, looking at everyone.  "What?"

"You got dinner and a knife?"

"The knife was a gift," Xander said with a grin.  "He'll be inviting Mr. Masked Man to tea in three days, he'll send us a message about when he accepts to come."  Lupin smiled at him.  "Now all we need is a plan for routes and how to get it off him.  It supposedly sticks to the skin and only the person who put it on can take it off."  He sat down, opening the box.  "It's a subtle mark, I like that in a weapon," he said happily, pulling the dagger to show it off.  "Neat, huh?" he asked with a bright grin.

"Very," Jigen asked, holding out his hand.  Xander handed it to him so he looked at it.  "What's the mark for?"

"So none of his boys touch me or anyone with me while we're in the bazaar.  It's his turf.  He only knew me by reputation."  He took it back and held it out to Lupin.  "Want to see?"

Lupin took it, testing the heft.  "It's heavy but well balanced," he said, handing it back.  "Very nice, Xander.  Thank you."  The boy blushed and he smirked at him.  "What else did you do?"

"I felt the bug, didn't you listen?" he asked dryly, putting the knife back into the box then putting it aside.  "Food," he suggested.  "Before Dawn eats someone.  I can hear her stomach rumbling."  He looked at Lupin.  "Basically, I showed him why I'm dangerous, which is the problem with a few of the magical markings carved onto my body.  Which did not disappear with the healing."

"The doctor said it wouldn't," Dawn told him.

"Then I sat there and was my cute self.  He got a little warm."  Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "What?" he asked innocently.

"You seem like you're in a lighter mood," Fujiko noted as she handed out the food.

"There's no Buffy or Willow here.  Of course I am."

She looked at him.  "You've been a sour person almost as long as I've known you, kid.  Did the healing fix some of that?"

"Probably," he agreed.  "I'm no longer disgusted to look at my body. I don't have any more oozing sores on my thighs.  I don't have any more open whip cuts on my back."  Goemon put down his meat.  "Sorry.  I'll quit."  He looked at her.  "I'm much more even now.  This is the real me.  Get used to it.  The other me was the angry me."

Dawn nodded.  "Really angry him.  I'd hate to see him get really, really angry but that was him in a bad mood."  She opened her packet of food.  "Do I want to know?"

"It's food, eat," Lupin told her.  He looked at Xander.  "That was still dangerous."

Xander shook his head and smirked, bending his head down to open his package and pick out the peppers, handing them to David.  "If he had touched me, he would have been in for retribution.  Even though I was freed, I'm still considered the virtual property of what's- his-name the demon prince of the whatever section.  I can't pronounce it," he noted.  "It's like marriage without the love, lust, or necessity of being on the same plane.  It's also like that because no demon could ever touch me but I'm free to have as many humans as I want."  He looked out through his hair again, eventually moving it out of the way when all he got was silence.  "Didn't consider that?" he asked quietly.  Lupin shook his head.  "Yeah, his scent marks me.  I can't wash it off.  Trust me, I tried numerous times.  I even tried with a wire grill brush."  Dawn nodded at that, she had taken it from him.  "It didn't work.  It was explained to me that it meant no other demon would *ever* touch me against my will.  Most of them would see me as an odd consort to the thing.  Even if I didn't like it.  The humans were considered beneath their notice so I can find a true mate and have them but it had better not be with another demonic entity.  Which is kinda beyond sickening for me anyway," he offered.

"Species polygamy," Dawn agreed.  "It happens with the higher beings.  They can usually take one of each species.  Since humans are a separate species, they're allowed one of them too."  She nibbled on the meat.  "This does not taste like chicken, no matter who says it does."

"It's goat," Jigen told her.  "Eat.  You'll want it later and Xander or David will eat it if you don't."  She nodded, eating more of it.  "Does that mean that you're officially looking?"

"I'm considering looking," Xander corrected, giving him a smile. "It'd have to be someone really special to keep my attention.  They'd have to understand about my ADHD and all that good stuff, plus understand the job."  He shrugged.  "So I'm considering.  I can't be celibate.  My body won't allow that, I'll go insane within a few months."

"Oh yeah, remind me to place that restriction on you later," Dawn told him.  "It'll work for the next few months."

"Yes, Dawnie," he agreed, rolling his eyes. "You do a very good impersonation of your mother.  Are you going to hand me a condom next?"

She shook her head, giving him a smug look.  "Hopefully you packed some since you can't get them locally."

"What about women?" Goemon asked.  "You've said often enough that you are bisexual."

Xander grinned wickedly at him.  "See, there's another 'but' to that rule.  Demons consider women to be a whole 'nother species entirely.  Except in a few species women don't count."  Fujiko's mouth fell open.  "Since you guys are so confusing, you're considered a different species. So technically, I can have both if I find both that I want.  Or I could play the field, or I could find someone who's willing to put up with my excessive libido and wear me out so much that I don't miss tits."  Dawn blushed.  "Sorry, dear, did I embarrass you?" he teased.

"You're odd," Fujiko told him.

"It's more like 'Free at last, free at last, thank God I'm free at last,'" Xander admitted.  "There is nothing keeping me from finding someone who *likes* me.  Since I'd never touch a demon willingly, hey, really free.  Able to look and be picky."  Lupin coughed.  "Sorry, want some water?"

"I've got some.  Why don't you eat before you make more than Marcus and Dawn blush?" he suggested lightly.  Like him.  Damn, the boy was open.

Marcus started to say something but he stuttered too much to get anything out and excused himself to go to the bathroom.

"It's not going to be you, Marc, don't worry about it," Xander called after him.  He looked at Dawn.  "Do you get the feeling that someone's listening at the door?"  She nodded.  "Then why haven't you fixed it?"

"Because it's Gramps and he's alone," she told him, wiggling her fingers at the door, watching as it opened. "Come on in, you can have Marc's dinner.  I doubt he's going to be out anytime soon."

Zenigata glared at her.  "Who are you to be so impudent to me?"

"Dawn Isabelle Summers.  Direct apprentice to him," she said, tipping her head at Lupin before eating another bite.  "Also the person who got you the raise."  She grinned while the others laughed.  "Also the person who's going to hit you on the head and make you forget why you were going to Sicily."

"Sicily?  Won't he get into trouble with any remaining families?" Xander suggested.

"Hmm.  Mexico?"

"Mexico was a fun job," Jigen noted.  "He might like to remember that."

"I don't," Lupin groaned. "I've never had a more upset stomach."  Xander looked at him.  "After the job it was Cinco de Mayo.  We got a little drunk to help them celebrate."

Zenigata growled and pulled out a pair of handcuffs.  "I've got you now!  You can't get away from me."  He grabbed his shoulder and grunted in pain.

Xander put away his gun, noticing his mentor had been drawing.  "Sorry, did you want that?" he asked.

"No, nice job.  Tranq darts still?"

"I haven't reloaded yet," Xander admitted.  He stood up and walked over, nudging him with his foot.  "Okay, he's out, Dawn."

"Cool."  She licked her fingers as she stood up and walked over, closing the door as she walked past it.  No one needed to see her doing magic in this place.  They might try to burn her at the stake or something.  "Did you know the Monks had a branch in Mexico?"  Xander shook his head, looking interested.  "They did."  She took his knife and opened her thumb, creating a small portal to the empty monastery.  Then she chucked the inspector through.  The portal closed while she went back to her seat.  "He's on this plane," she announced.  "He'll be fine.  There's no one near there for *miles*.  By the time he walks to the nearest village and realizes they don't have phones, cars, or radios, it'll be at least a week from now."  She licked off her thumb, noticing David was staring at her. "What?" she defended.

"Nice work," he told her.  "I thought you didn't use it."

"I don't use it much," she corrected.  "To stay on this plane of existence I have to know where I'm going intimately.  I have to know every spare inch of it.  Otherwise, there could be one close enough and I'd never realize.  That's why I didn't use it to come after you that time."  He nodded.  "Better?"  He nodded, smiling at her again.  "Good.  Eat.  Before I eat it for you.  I'm hungry enough to not want to know what animal this was."  She picked up the next dripping piece of meat and nibbled on it. "Marcus, I'm going to eat your dinner if you don't come out," she called.

He came out of the bathroom, looking outwardly composed.  Except for the bulge he was sporting.  "I'm sorry I ran that way," he said as he sat down again.  "I cannot excuse my actions."  He ducked his head and ate.

Dawn snorted.  "Not a big, Marc.  Plenty of people want in Xan's panties.  There are even some who have wanted to pay for him and keep him.  You're not alone there.  It is an amazing thing."  He blushed again but didn't answer.

"You two are very blunt on that subject," Goemon noted. "Some of us are more delicate."

"Sorry," Xander said with a small shrug. "Living our lives is kinda like free-falling.  If you don't say it you don't usually get the chance again.  Why hold things back when you could die tomorrow?"

"It's a corollary to the 'there is no such thing as a coincidence' law and a brother to 'if you meet an old friend you haven't seen in a year, they're going to try and kill you' law," Dawn told him.  "We learned that from Faith."

"Yes, we met her," Goemon noted, looking at her.  "Please, try to modulate your innuendos near myself and Marcus.  He is a very delicate young man."  Dawn nodded, giving him a small grin. "Thank you.  Now eat.  You said you were hungry."

Someone knocked on the door and Dawn grabbed the illusion necklace, putting it on and hitching it.  Lupin got up and answered the door, making sure Fujiko was covered as well.  "Yes?" he asked the proprietor.  He accepted the message.  "Thank you."  He closed and relocked the door, coming back to hand the message to Xander.  "Already?"

Xander opened it, frowning at the language.  "Marc, translation?" he asked, handing it over.

"He's coming for lunch in four days with the mask on," he read.  "He does not take the main path."  He looked at Xander.  "Our target?" Xander nodded so he looked at Lupin.  "Does that give us enough information?"

"That leaves six roads," Lupin noted, considering the bazaar.  "We'll look at the map tonight."  He picked up some of his food, eating quickly.  "Dawn, as a future reference, we eat with our right hands only.  The other is considered unclean because you use it for bodily purposes."  She blushed and switched hands.  "In case we eat in the open."  She nodded.  David was also blushing and eating with his right hand.

"In a country where water is precious, you don't get to wash your hands every time," Xander told him.  David nodded, eating quicker.

"We would appreciate it if you continued that habit anyway," Fujiko told him.

"Every time?" Xander asked.  She glared at him and he grinned. "What?" he asked innocently.

"I will get you for that water stunt earlier."

He beamed.  "Fine.  Come practice with us some day soon and we'll see."  She groaned and shook her head.

"It would help you stay in practice," Goemon told her, patting her on the hand.  He looked at Dawn.  "I believe the work you did on her arm went very well.  Thank you."  She beamed and nodded.  "Should we retire for the night?"

"Go for it," Lupin agreed, watching them go.  "What did you do, Dawn?"

"He asked me to see if she was using anything artificial in her body," she said sweetly.  "So I told him."

"Artificial?" Lupin asked.

Jigen groaned.  "She was on the pill."  Lupin jumped up and went to talk to the samurai.  He had to know that was a bad idea.  Jigen tapped her on the arm and shook his head.  "No.  Pregnancy is worse than PMS.  We have enough problems with that."

"I'm going on the shot," Dawn defended.

He patted her gently.  "That's good, but still.  We don't want to deal with her that way.  No matter what Goemon wants, not yet."

"Sure.  I only told him if she was. I didn't mess with its effectiveness rate or anything," she promised.  "He didn't ask me to."

Xander smirked at her.  "Was she?"  Dawn shook her head and Jigen groaned.  "Nothing artificial?"

"Nothing except some over-the-counter pain killers.  I'm guessing they're using some sort of barrier method."

Lupin came back from his begging.  That whole 'I'll have to produce an heir sometime' argument wasn't cutting it with him.  "Dawn, no more."

She nodded.  "Fine.  She was only on an NSAID anyway," she said with a light shrug.

He sighed as he sat down, putting his head down.  "I don't think we could handle that."  Xander thoughtfully rubbed his back for him.  "Thanks.  Dawn, tell me personally if she ever does get knocked up so I can take her out of rotation."

"Sure, boss.  I can tell as soon as her body starts the usual changes.  Within days."

"Thank you."  He sat up, giving Xander a small grin.  "Thanks to you as well."

"Not a big.  I'm told I'm very comforting."  He went back to his dinner, reaching over to pilfer some of Dawn's.  She smacked his hand but let him have it.  "Eat faster."

"Fine."  She grabbed her food and ate faster.

Xander reached over and took off the illusion necklace, returning her to her usual catsuit and heels instead of the all-covering robe and head scarf.

"If she does, I'm hiding until the baby's weaned," Jigen told Lupin.

Lupin looked at him.  "We'll hide together.  I know some great caves that have a really nice water supply and hunting."  He heard Xander's quiet snickering.  "Or we'll go back to Sunnydale and hide in the cabins.  She'll never find us there."

Xander fell out of his seat, rolling around laughing.

"Hmm.  And I thought a preggy Buffy was bad," Dawn said, stealing Xander's rice to eat.  He didn't complain, he hated rice.

***

Later that night, Lupin came out and found Xander playing solitaire at the small table.  "Bored?"

"Can't sleep," Xander admitted, dealing a new hand.  He looked up at him.  "Sometimes I get that way.  It's like I'm vibrating at too high a rate of speed and I can't shut things down."

Lupin nodded, he had been that way in the past.  "Most people need cocaine for that."

"I tried a line once, it made it worse but I still got to sleep after a week."  He grinned, playing a card and flipping the one beneath it.  "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"My mind's running in circles.  There's too many roads."

"There's eight of us.  Put David and Marcus with people and block off one," Xander suggested.  "A minor accident that collapses a stall roof around the right time and blocks the road.  Either that or we watch for him and stop him."  He looked up, seeing the pleased look.  "Need more help?"

"That would work.  David isn't that sure a shot yet.  He's an excellent thief but he doesn't have the weapon skills at all.  Marcus still needs to find his perfect weapon."

"Marcus needs his own sword.  The demonic spirit warrior would use one."  He played another card and flipped the bottom one.  "We should suggest that he go on the hunt for one."

"True.  I'll talk to him tomorrow during his practice."  He played a set he could see that Xander was ignoring, helping him.  "Why else can't you sleep?"

"Dawn's spell is making me jumpy.  I don't like being jumpy.  It'll take a while for my body to get used to it I guess."  He shrugged.  "It's gotten used to all sorts of things.  It'll figure out that it likes this one as well."  He looked through his hand, every third card getting turned over.  "I hate this version of solitaire, I never win."

"Why aren't you firing up your laptop?" Lupin asked, taking a card to help him.  That moved another of the base set and freed up a new card, which didn't help anything at all.

"My battery's charging," Xander said lightly, grinning at him.  "So, are you just jumpy or too tired to move and can't stop thinking?"

"The second.  I need something wear me out.  Usually I'd go bother Goemon and have him spar with me but I think he's probably a little busy."

"No, she quit screaming a while ago," Xander quipped.  Lupin shook his head.  "What? I know what a gag is and it's many uses.  I'm surprised you didn't hear Marcus getting up too."

"I did.  Did he finally go back to bed?"

Xander nodded, finally finding a card he needed and playing it.  It freed up another card he didn't need.  "I hate this version."

Lupin laughed and took the extras stack from his hand, putting them down.  "It's pitiful, I can't usually win that one even when I do every card anymore."  Xander grinned at him.  "You are a big tease," he said dryly.

"I am.  I happen to like being me, most others do too."

"Oh, I do.  This new, happier you is wonderful.  Dawn is so serious sometimes that it's ...."

"Boring?  Tiring?  Draining? Yeah, I know.  She has fun sometimes but not always."  He shrugged.  "Jigen didn't tell you I pranked him our first six months?"

"No, he didn't mention that," Lupin said, leaning back so he could watch the younger man.  "What did you do?"

"Let's see.  One night he was so wiped he slept *really* deeply.  So I took his gun and coated the barrel with washable acrylic bubblegum pink paint.  I put it back once it was dry so he couldn't tell.  He didn't know until he pulled it on someone the next morning."  Lupin smirked at that.  "He gave me the dirtiest look and I simply grinned and shrugged.  I think that was when he started to sleep with it under his pillow.  The next night, I snuck in a small garden snake and let it into his bed, making him shriek and flail around.  I wore handcuffs to bed that night."  Lupin shook his head.  "Then there was the night," Xander sighed, sounding happy, "that I pranked him so bad it wasn't funny.  We had just had the crappiest of all weeks.  Like right before LA crappy week."  That got a small nod.  "So I took him to a bar I had picked out of the local entertainment paper.  The gay entertainment paper.  It was affectionately billed 'the most flamboyant place on earth'.  He nearly refused to go in but it was late and most of the rest of them were closing down, the liquor store was already closed, and the nearest open bar was over a mile away and we'd have to wait for a cab.  So I talked him into going in there.  I bought him a few rounds.  Then I had the best drag queen in the place come over to hit on him."  Lupin snickered, shaking his head.  "Really.  This one was so good that it was really hard to tell.  She was on hormones and stuff so her adam's apple was tiny.  She had real breasts.  She swayed just right when you looked at her.  She had this sweet, smoky, honey coated voice while she was singing or speaking.  I paid her to come over and drink with us.  And she hit on him like you wouldn't believe.  I got myself home that night."

Lupin winced.  "He could have killed you for that."

"He came in about an hour later and handcuffed me to the bed again and warned me to never leave him alone like that again.  Apparently he wasn't ready to go all the way at that moment.  She did invite us both to lunch the next day but he turned it down and made us leave before we could hit our target."  He gave a little shrug.  "I didn't mean to make him that uncomfortable, but he said he wasn't angry about it."

"Yeah, he's forgiving of some pranks.  I'm surprised he didn't dump you for painting his gun."

"Well, it was his second one," Xander admitted with a small smirk.  "I knew better than to touch the one he caressed while he cleaned."  Lupin nodded, that was a wise thing.  "Then again, it did look very nice the night he got drunk and put a condom on it himself.  A purple one."  Lupin broke, laughing hard.  "What?" he asked innocently.  "He was a little too toasty.  That was two days before we got found and arrested.  We were having the crappiest of all months.  Things would not go right for us.  He kept muttering about calling you for a visit anyway.  Something about you breaking the dry spell."

"Yeah, I seem to be able to do that for him." Lupin shook his head, reaching over to pat Xander on the hand.  "I once set him up with the world's worst drag queen.  She had a beard.  She came up and sang to him at the bar."  Xander laughed.  "The wonderful thing was, she was a female.  He glared at me for weeks.  We were still early on in our partnership then.  He said I was too playful."

"Yeah, he said the same thing about me too," Xander admitted.  He flicked some of his hair back over his shoulder.  "Not only did he say that I was too playful, but that I reminded him of you on a rip.  Or at least he muttered about it.  For his last birthday, I had a siren come in and sing to him.  I purposefully left him there too."  He smirked.  "The poor thing, all scales and pale blue skin. Everyone thought it was a really great surprise, but the whole restaurant broke out into an orgy.  He had to sneak out so he wouldn't be grabbed." Lupin started to laugh again.  "I'm already planning his next one."

"I was thinking about taking him somewhere and having a native come up and say he was the perfect virgin sacrifice and try to kidnap him, but I figured he'd try to shoot him."

"Nah.  He'd never pass for virginal."  Xander considered it, leaning his elbows on the table.  "I know."  He leaned closer, lowering his voice.  "How about we invite him to a party, a sex toy party, which someone else is holding?"  Xander wiggled his eyebrows.  "They do make a vibrator in the form of a revolver."

Lupin laughed and shook his head.  "He'd spank us."

"Really?"  Xander's eyes brightened.  "That might be fun."

"I thought you were over him."

"I am, but it still might be fun.  He hasn't chased me around a room in months."

Lupin laughed.  "You're the one who took his crossword from him.  You knew better."

"I wanted to do something," Xander defended.  "He was just sitting there ignoring me.  It was my sacred duty to annoy him into paying attention to me and helping wear out my excess energy."  He shifted, leaning a little more on his elbows.  "So, what should we do for Fujiko's birthday?  A positive test strip?"

"She'd kill us, I don't prank that woman unless I'm really wanting something," Lupin told him.  "Besides, Goemon would be really happy about that and then get pissed at us too."

"Not if we let him in on it beforehand.  Besides, I have the feeling it'll happen before her next birthday."

"Why didn't you tell me about yours?"

"I don't celebrate mine," Xander told him.  "I haven't in years, no one has.  Since ninth grade."

"Not even your friends?"

"One was gone during that time and the other was deep in a hacking project.  She got me a card in tenth and eleventh grades."

"What about your senior year?"

Xander sighed.  "I tried to celebrate it on my own.  My birthday's during a school holiday but we were in the middle of apocalypse number two and a half.  For my birthday I took down some zombies trying to blow up the school, got dissed by my friends, and got molested by a slayer, Faith.  It was over in milliseconds."  He shrugged.  "So I lost my virginity for it, and I learned that sometimes being on my own is better, but otherwise I spent my eighteenth alone."

"That's horrible.  That's one of those birthdays where you should have had a big party."

"Yeah, well, I threw one for myself on my twenty-first.  I went to the only bar in Sunnydale and bought everyone a round.  They sang."  He grinned sadly.  "It happens sometimes."  He pushed his hair back again, putting it behind his ear this time.  "I should get this mess cut."

"Why?  It looks good on you," Lupin told him.  "What did you want for your birthday?"

"This year?  To get away from Buffy and Willow without having to kill them."

"Well, you got that wish," Lupin pointed out.  "Nothing else?"  Xander shook his head.  He was going to start feeling sorry for the boy soon.  "What about next year?"

"Next year?"  Xander considered it.  "I'd like to be on a beach next year for my birthday.  Surfing.  I can only body surf but it's been so long since I've done it that I'd like to take a vacation next year for my birthday. Is that enough advance warning?"

"Sure."  Lupin smirked.  "Either that or we'll just pull a job and be there with you while you turn thirty."

"Actually, I think I'd rather spend that apocalyptic birthday alone.  It'll make me feel better to pass into middle age without making others miserable."  He gathered up the cards and dealt another round of solitaire.  "Do you know that Dawn doesn't count that one year?"

"You didn't exactly spend it here, you don't have to count it," Lupin offered.  "I wouldn't."

"Yeah, but it changed me too much for me to conveniently forget so I have to count it."  He glanced up.  "Pick a happier topic."

"Sure."  He grinned, considering it.  "We've got to find something for Fujiko to do around here or she'll bug Dawn some more about her clothes."

"Most of the merchants are small guys.  Nothing big or special in the jewelry department.  For that she'd have to go to Saudi."  He played his first card, freeing up a space. "You can play the full deck, not just every three?"

"It's a different variation."  He considered it.  "It's too close to when we've got to do this otherwise I would suggest it. We'll need her."

"If Goemon will let her get into danger," Xander pointed out.  "He hasn't had to face that yet."

"Hmm.  Good point.  I'll talk to him tomorrow, make sure he'll be fine with it.  He does have some old-fashioned notions."

"Gee, you think?" Xander teased.

Lupin looked at him.  "I should tickle you for that.  That dry tone is just too bad for you, kid."

Xander smirked. "I'm not that young.  Besides, I've earned the right to my dry tone.  I've had to play straightman way too long to others."

"Which would you rather have?"

Xander looked at him, then blinked once while he thought about it.  "I like men.  I like to be held by people who are stronger than I am."  He shrugged.  "I'm a bit kinky that way.  I like stronger lovers."

"There's nothing wrong with that.  Not that you're weak."

"No, but I've got sucky upper body strength," Xander reminded him.  "That is why I am not the man to send to scale the building to let everyone in."

"Oh, I know that very well.  I've been watching you to figure out where your weaknesses are."

Xander grinned and licked his lips.  "Chocolate."  He played another card, smirking in happiness because he got another he needed when he flipped it over.  "Ah-ha!"

"Would you actually sleep with someone for chocolate?"

"I'd fucking bear kids for Willy Wonka," Xander told him.  "The movie guy had that strength but he also had just the touch of geek that draws me."

Lupin mentally smirked. This was going better than he could have hoped for.

"Of course, he'd have to wrestle me in the vat of chocolate.  Then promise to lick it off."  He played another card, grinning when it was looking like this one was going to go his way for once.  "Either that or roll me in chocolate and cover me in nerds.  Then he could lick me clean."  He glanced up, the other man was nearly drooling.  "Of course, my favorite memory was finding another fandom bitch at a convention during my year away from hell after graduation.  We made like rabid weasels in the bathroom during the costume party.  He was the cutest little elf.  Not quite thin enough to pull it off, but fairly cute enough.  He was blond, but I dealt."  Lupin lunged over, lip locking him.  Xander moaned and dropped his extras stack, moving around the small table to stand him up.  "All you had to do was ask, Lupin," he pointed out with a sexy little grin as he started to work on the dress shirt's buttons.

"Now.  My room."

"Yes, sir.  Fair warning, I'm noisier than she is."  Lupin turned him around and gave him a little push, making Xander very warm.  He turned once they were inside and the door was closed.  "Anything special in mind?"

"You."  He came over, stealing his lips again.  The younger man moaned beneath him, arching up to get better contact between their bodies.  Xander was just shorter than he was, enough that it made it interesting.  "You are a bottom, right?" he panted between kisses.  Xander nodded, finishing his quick work on half the buttons on his own shirt.  Then he got the sleeves undone, then his pants.  He shimmied and the whole stack of clothes slid off his hips. Lupin pulled back.  "That's a neat trick."

"Let me show you how it's done."  He half unbuttoned the shirt and pushed it off the thin shoulders, then undid the belt.  "Now shimmy."   The other man found himself in his boxers.  "I see someone needs my special touch of naughty boxers for the holidays."  He moved closer, grabbing the lips to kiss again.

Lupin pulled back, shaking his head.  "I think the mistletoe ones you gave Jigen were more than enough."

"And unfortunately he left them at home or you'd be able to steal them," Xander said smugly, moving down to the thin neck.  "Or don't you like that?"

Lupin moaned, holding the boy's head in place.  "More than you think."

"I think I can feel."  He shifted down, playing with the peaked nipples.  "Tasty."

"Oooh, more."  He arched up into the talented teeth.  "Keep it up and I'll steal you a ten- pound box of Swiss chocolates on the way through," he pleaded.

"Make it two and I'll give you whatever you want."

Lupin growled and pushed the boy onto the bed, looking down at him.  "Greedy.  We'll have to save some for Dawn."  Xander pounced him, knocking him into the wall, kissing him hard and getting in a good grope.  Then he went further down on him, sucking him in like he was famished and it was cordon bleu.  "Oh, God."  Lupin squeezed his eyes shut.  "Too long.  If you keep that up, we can't do anything else."

"Bet me," Xander said, pulling back to lick and look up at him.  "There's no way I'm passing this up."  He stood up and stripped off his tiny bikinis then laid himself out pleasingly on the bed.  "Well?"

Lupin smirked as he came over to play with his new toy.  This would definitely cure boredom and his mind running too hard.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Go away," he shouted.

"Guys," Jigen complained.

"Go away," Xander called.

"Fine.  He still works better when he's frustrated."

"I don't," Xander snapped.  Lupin laughed, licking up his back.  "Ooooh!" he squealed, arching up into it.

"Shit, more fricken' noisy people," Jigen complained, walking away.

"And proud of it," Xander said smugly.

Lupin laughed again, going back to his teasing.  Xander shifted underneath him, getting more demanding.  "Don't believe in foreplay?"

"After play is more my thing.  I cuddle."

"Good."  Lupin grabbed the lube from his bag laying beside the bed and a condom, then put them to good use.  The boy moaned such pretty noises when he slid inside.  It was too much.  He started to give him a long, hard ride from the start.  He batted away the hand trying to help himself.  "No, from me or afterwards."

"Not fair," Xander groaned, pushing back against him.  "I need it."

"I know, and I'll give it to you, Xander.  Come on."  He started working harder, sweating onto the pale back.  Xander whimpered and started to wiggle underneath him.  He spanked him, earning a howl and a beautiful arch of the tight back.  "Come on," he encouraged.  "You can do it."

"I can't," Xander moaned, but his wrists were being held on the bed.  "Please?"

"Oooh, beg," Lupin pleaded.  "I like that."

"Please, Lupin.  Please!  Just a little more!  Please, just one touch!  Arsene!  Please!" he shouted.

Lupin came, groaning into the damp skin.  No one ever called his first name anymore, it was incredibly hot to him.  Xander was still writhing underneath him so he turned him over, seeing the reason why he couldn't come.  "A cockring?"  Xander whimpered.  "Dawn's spell," he groaned, releasing it.  Xander whimpered and went limp, letting him stroke him.  "Come for me, Xander.  I know you want it.  You can do it."  Xander came with a loud scream, arching up into his hand.  "Wow, you are loud," he said, happy with that.  The boy went limp, smiling happily up at him.  "Better?"

"For now."  He pulled him down, kissing him, holding him tightly.  "In a few hours expect to be jumped again."

Lupin groaned, letting himself be cuddled.  It had been a while since anyone had slept on top of his arm and across his chest.  He had missed it.  The boy was soon asleep, snoring into his chest. Lupin stared up at the ceiling as he drifted off, stroking the limp and sticky back.  "Wow.  I'll have to do that again."

Jigen walked in.  "Not until after the job.  You do better when you're frustrated," he reminded him, handing over a bottle of water.  "Asshole."

"Thanks."  He grinned.  "Did you mind?"

"Not in the least.  As long as he doesn't keep me up."  He walked out, slamming the door.  He sat down, playing the game of solitaire laid out.  It wasn't like he could sleep through all that noise.

Lupin smirked as he drank the water, he was thirsty.  Jigen took such good care of him.

***

Fujiko looked over as Xander came out of Lupin's room, looking confused.  She looked at Jigen, who glared back.  "Okay then."  She smirked as Dawn came out.  "Have a good night?" she asked.

"After I quit hearing people jacking off in the bathroom," she said dryly, heading that way.  She beat Xander in because he was giving the doorknob a confused look because it wasn't working when he touched it.

Lupin came out of his room, smirking at the morning confusion the boy was showing.  "How is everyone today?"  Fujiko gave him a smug look.  He smirked right back.  "Xander, clothes?  If Goemon can't run around in a loincloth, you can't wear less than that."

"Huh?" he asked, looking at him.

"Clothes, kid," Jigen reminded him.

Xander pointed.  "Shower!"

"Dawn, let him have a shower so he can get dressed," Jigen yelled.  "I don't need to see that much of him."

"You've probably seen more," Lupin quipped, sitting down to dish up his own breakfast.  "Hurry up, Dawn, or go hungry."  She came out and grabbed her plate, letting Xander have the bathroom.  "Thank you."

She kissed him on the cheek.  "Remember, a belt, a pillow, a t-shirt or other interesting pieces of clothes can become a gag in an emergency.  It's a good thing to remember."  She sat down, ignoring the looks at her pajamas.  "What?" she asked finally.

David smirked at her.  "Did I keep you up?"

"Hell yes.  Learn to muffle yourself."

"That's why I don't sleep next to the bathroom," Jigen told her.

Goemon came in, giving Lupin a look.  "Good morning."

"If I didn't know better, that was a question," Fujiko noted, grinning at him.

"I can see the moods that they're in," Goemon reminded her.  He sat down to pick out his own breakfast, looking around.  "Xander?"

"Showering, supposedly," Dawn told him.  "I think it's one of those morning when the simplest mechanical things are going to defeat him."  She got up and walked over, heading into the bathroom.  "The dials turn," she said as she turned one for him.  Then she went back to her breakfast, leaving the door open.  Lupin looked at her.  "What?" she asked innocently.  "He's cute in his morning confusion."  Xander yelled.  "Ooops, I think I turned on the cold water," she said innocently, then she cackled.  "That should cure that."

Jigen looked at her.  "That was mean," he said, but he was grinning at her.  "Did we remember coffee?"  The pot was handed to him.  "Thank you."  Xander padded out, fully wet.  "Did you actually shower?"  The boy nodded as he walked, his towel barely on his hips trudged back to his room.  "Anyone want to contest that?"

"Xander learned the art of the two minute shower while we were in Sunnydale," Dawn told him.  She ate a bite of sausage.  "At the end, we were living in a single house with the main group and all the potentials."  Jigen looked at her.  "Buffy, Willow, me, Tara, Xander, Giles, Spike, and sixteen teenage girls, then Faith and Angel's crew came up to help."  Lupin shuddered.  "So the three second shower was about all he got after work."  She finished that link and reached for another one.  Then she looked at Fujiko, and suddenly smirked at Goemon.  "Have a good night?" she asked.

"Definitely."  He looked at her, one eyebrow going up.  She gave him a slight nod.  He stood up and grabbed her, taking her back to their room.  Where he shoved her against the wall and had his merry way with her like she had never experienced before.

Dawn looked at Lupin and nodded.  He groaned.  "Not my doing, remember that."  She ate a bite of egg as Xander came out.  "Morning.  More awake?"

"Coffee," Xander groaned, giving her head a kiss.  "You need to shower."  He accepted the cup someone poured, gulping it.  "Ow, hot."  He continued to gulp, sitting down and putting his head on the table, falling back to sleep quickly.

Lupin kept his smirk to himself.  Damn, he was good!  Fujiko yelled in pleasure and he started to clap, being followed by the rest of the young people.

"Do I need to hide now?" Jigen asked.

"We'll send her somewhere safe," Lupin promised, winking at him.  "Goemon won't want to risk his first born." Jigen choked.  "What?" he asked.

"Send her to Saudi now," Dawn suggested.

"I'll let him send her out of harm's way," Lupin told her, giving her a smile.  "Practicing your spying?"

"You were talking in the main room and I was reading," she told him, looking at Xander.  "Hand me the sausage being infected by his hair."  It was handed to her by David.  "Thanks.  For some reason I'm in a meat mood today."  She shrugged and ate more of it.

Marcus looked at her.  "Should we escort you to the feminine hygiene section of the bazaar?" he asked sweetly.

She looked at the date on Lupin's watch, craning her neck to do so.  "Not for another two weeks."  She leaned back again.  "Don't worry about it, Marcus, I'd never make you help me shop for tampons.  You'd stutter too much."  He grinned and went back to eating.  "Xander on the other hand....  He'd blush very well."

Jigen nodded.  "He probably would."

Dawn looked at him.  "When is your birthday anyway?"

Jigen groaned and swatted at Lupin.  "No.  Do not follow his lead in that.  I don't need anything this year."

Lupin laughed.  "We'll plan you a nice, subtle, calm party, Jigen.  Something tasteful."  He ate a bite of food, nudging Xander under the table.  The boy lifted his head and gave him a bleary look.  "Eat.  It'll make you feel better."

"I feel fine, I'm just fuzzy headed," Xander said, rubbing his eyes.  "It's hopefully going to go away soon."  The coffeepot was handed to him. "Thanks."  He poured it right into his mouth.  The cups were really small.  Who cared that his tongue was blistering?  Dawn eventually took it from him and put it down, handing him the rest of her plate.  "Thanks, Dawnie."  He was feeling more human again, it was nice.

***

The plans were made and everyone was in their positions.  They could see each other across the rooftops.  Goemon looked out at the light traffic of cars.  The man would be coming by car, he was too self important to come on foot, by donkey, or camel.  He spotted a car that wasn't one of the rare taxis and pointed it out.  Xander relayed it to the others who were farther away. There were only a few streets it could be taking coming in from that direction.  The others were on the other side of the bazaar, looking from that direction.  The car was coming his way so he jumped down, stopping the car dead.  He put his sword back, walking around and opening the back door.  It wasn't going anywhere with the engine cut in half.  The man got out, already having a gun drawn.  He dropped it when he felt the muzzle against the back of his head.  "Give us the mask," Goemon ordered.

"Never," the man sneered.

"Now," Xander ordered.

"You can't take it," he sneered.  "It's mine and only I can take it off."

Goemon growled and sliced the thing off his face, barely creasing the skin.  "There is always an out for such clauses," he announced, looking at the man holding his face on the ground.

Xander picked up the pieces, testing them.  "You broke the spells."

"NO!" the man shouted, trying to get up.

Xander tossed over the pieces and his gun, taking on the man with his bare hands.  He wanted sex and hadn't been able to have it for two days!  The man was a bleeding mass on the ground by the time he stopped.  "Now I feel better," he smirked, getting down.  He tapped the swollen, broken, and bleeding face, making the man look at him.  "Do not mess with things you do not understand.  It brings others like me to you."  He took his gun back and wiped his hands off on his pants as they strolled away.  "Are we gonna melt the stupid thing down or did the boss want it like that?" he asked.

"I have no idea," Goemon noted, giving him a small smirk.  "Very nice work."

"It was all frustration," Xander said dryly. "Unlike the boss, I am a sexual creature and I enjoy having my excess energy worn out that way."

Goemon laughed.  "I have found an appreciation of the same thing," he noted.  "The birth of my future child has roused me like never before."

"Want my handcuffs?" Xander asked.  "I've got a very nice set in my bag.  It'd keep her out of trouble.  Jigen said they were comfortable after the night I nailed him with them."  Goemon looked at him.  "He was pacing and I couldn't sleep so I hitched him to the bed," Xander said with a shrug. "It worked, I got to sleep.  Besides, it'd keep her from coming over to bug us in between rounds.  That whole 'pleading for mercy' act is getting boring.  She needs new lines."  He nudged the blushing man.  "I suspect it's normal.  Don't be shy about it.  Do it in front of us for all the younger group cares."  He grinned wickedly.  "That'll definitely keep her from bragging."

"She brags?" Goemon demanded when they ran into Jigen and Lupin.  Both of whom nodded.  "Hmm.  Perhaps I should help her learn the meaning of the word discretion."

"Then I'd buy her a gag," Xander told him, giving him a pat on the back.  "We know anyway."  Goemon blushed brighter and shook his head.  "What?" he asked when Jigen glared at him.

"You had to tell him about that?"

"It's not like I molested you, I only handcuffed you to the bed so I could sleep!" Xander defended.  "If you had quit pacing, it wouldn't have been necessary."  He looked at Lupin.  "Weren't we taking Dawn to get clothes?"

"I think she's picked up what she wanted," he said, putting his arm around the boy's shoulders, turning to walk back to the inn with him.  "Where were we going next?"

"You promised me bikinis," Xander reminded him.  "You said we were going to have a real vacation while Marcus trained."  They ran into Goemon looking in a weapons stall and Xander got free, heading over to look as well.  He liked weapons.  The man behind the table looked at him.  "Got anything longer?" he asked.

"They are illegal."

"I collect swords.  They come in handy."

"I do have one," he admitted, leading them into the back.  He uncovered an old, rusty piece of metal with a worn handle.  "It is supposed to be from the crusades."

"Hmm."  Xander touched it then shook his head.  "Pretty but it needs a lot of work."

"It does.  Was it buried in water?" Goemon asked.  The salesman nodded.  He tested the edge, it was still sharp.  "Interesting."

"Vulcan," Xander teased, shooting a grin at him.

"What?"

"I'll show you later," Xander told him, giving him a pat on the arm.  "Hey, boss, is Marcus around?"

"Just about," Jigen called back.

Marcus jogged back to join them, but headed to a wicker trunk off to the side.  He opened it, gasping at the fine metal in there.  He hesitated to touch it, but pulled it out and held it up.  "I want this one," he said reverently.

Xander looked at it, then frowned and shook his head.  "It'll taint you, Marc."

"Okay, then the thing inside me wants it."  He glared at Xander.  "You can't possibly understand."

Goemon came over, looking at the sword.  "It will do for now.  We will take both.  Pay the man," he told Marcus.  "You can clean the other up for practice."  He walked out, rejoining his group.  "He found something that spoke to him."

"Good."  Lupin looked over as Xander walked the boy out.  "Is it going to be okay?"

"Fine.  The one sword is slightly tainted.  I'm guessing the person who used to own it was a medium and died holding it."  He shrugged.  "We'll deal.  He's less open to possession than I am."  He walked behind Marc, guarding him on the way back to finish packing.  They were leaving that night.  Xander did stop to pick up some steel wool and some sand paper for metal.  The boy would be needing it soon.  A lot of it.  If not something like a Dremel to get off the rust.

***

Xander looked out at the beach, then smirked at his boss.  "This is the best vacation I've ever had," he said happily.  He sipped his water, looking at the bikini clad women frolicking in the water.  "It's like watching nymphs."

"That's why this is my favorite beach," Lupin agreed smugly.  He adjusted his sunglasses, looking at one hot blonde coming across the sand.  He whistled softly, earning a chuckle from Dawn, who was on his other side.  "You don't think she's pretty?"

"I think they're fake.  Either that or she's had them tightened so they stand up without help," Dawn told him.  "Tits that big sag because gravity is all-encompassing once you're over a c-cup."  She went back to reading her magazine.  "Can we go to the nude beach tomorrow?"

"Sure," Lupin agreed.  "If you agree to get us a chaperone."

Dawn chuckled.  "Xander, talk Jigen into it."

"Sure, Dawn.  I can do the impossible," Xander agreed dryly, lowering his sunglasses to look at one woman who was bending over.  He nudged the boss, pointing her out.  They both got a good, long look.  This was a vacation!

Choking on the New Toys

Xander had just enough time to look up from his book before the heavy instrument hit him in the head.  Then he blacked out, leaving his book on the beach, along with his phone, his gun, and everything else.  Later, he would be sure that others found them and he would miss them until he saw them again.

***

David answered the phone, surly this morning for the most usual reason - Dawn wasn't his yet.  "Yeah, what?" he demanded.  He burst out in giggles.  "You're joking," he said blandly.  "No you don't, he was just here.  I'd know if you had Lavelle hostage.  Get a life, dude, before life gets you.  Lavelle will not find this funny and he'll cap you quick."  He hung up and walked away, shaking his head.  He ran into Goemon first since he was coming in from a practice, and punched him on the arm.  "I can't believe someone just tried that prank.  Does Lupin know any guys with whiny voices who like to pick on him?"

"What are you talking about?" Fujiko asked as she walked in, wiping her face off.  "What prank?"  Whiny guys they ran into by the ton.  It could be nearly anyone.

David smirked at her.  "Someone just called and said they kidnaped Xander."  He snorted.  "Like they'd get the chance!"  He walked off, going to share this prank.  It was one that would drive the adults ragged until Xander came back from the beach.

"Lupin!" Fujiko yelled, taking off running for the workroom.  He came out, catching her before she ran into the wall.  "David just told us he answered a ransom demand for Xander from a whiny person.  He thought it was a prank."

Lupin groaned.  "Of course he did.  He has faith that Xander is unstoppable."  He led the way back to the study, ringing a bell to bring the housekeeper.  "Get Jigen, now," he demanded.  "Tell him we've got problems."  She nodded and hurried off.  Lupin sat behind his desk, turning on his monitor.  The computer recorded all incoming and outgoing calls.   He had lost a housekeeper he really liked to her desire for the reward for their heads.  "Here it is," he announced.  "Unknown number, probably a cellphone.  Lasted two minutes."  Jigen stormed in, slamming the door behind him.  Dawn opened it and hit him then moved closer.  "David will not be allowed to answer the phone again," he told them.  "He thought the guy on this message was kidding."  He started it, then blushed and turned that one off.  "Not that one, sorry, mouse slipped."  He moved to the right one, not the booty call he had made a few hours before that.  They listened to the whiny guy's voice, most of them glaring, none worse than Dawn.

"Where is he, how can I kill him, and how much damage is allowed on this sort of thing?" she demanded.  Her arms crossed over her incredibly tiny bikini top and her glare was enough to make the person walking through the door run.  "I'm not mad at you, Marc, but David is toast later!" she called after him

Lupin leaned back.  "We have to wait for another call.  It was a local, toss-away cellphone most likely.  We can triangulate from the signals if we're really lucky.  If not, then we'll start hunting for him."

"I'll go to the beach," Jigen offered.  Lupin nodded so he left.  He grabbed David on the way, dragging him with him.  "Most people do not believe that ransom calls are jokes," he pointed out as he drug the younger man along.  "In the future, do the same."  He let him go before getting into the jeep and driving off.

David rubbed the back of his neck.  "Ow.  How was I supposed to know?"  He went back inside and had to hide behind Fujiko when everyone else came out of the office.  "I'm sorry, I thought it was a Xander prank," he defended.

"Come out here and let me kick your ass," Dawn shouted, struggling in the arms holding her.  "Let me go!"  She kicked backwards, making Lupin grunt in pain as her heel met his knee.  "I'm going to kill him.  We can find someone else to take his fucking place!"

"Calm down!" Goemon shouted.  "Getting upset will not solve this.  Yes, he was in error, he will be feeling horrible soon enough, especially if something happens to Xander.  You harming him will not make it any better or worse."

"Bet me," she snorted.  "I'll make him feel worse!"  He grabbed her chin, glaring down into her eyes and she shrank back.  "Fine, then you kick his ass for me!"  She stormed off. She knew where her clothes were, basically, and she needed to find a more appropriate outfit to go rescuing in.  A string bikini and a wrap was not suitable unless she was out to be the diversion.

Goemon looked at David.  "Real men do not hide behind women.  You will go outside and wait on me."  David nodded, looking pitiful as he trudged outside.

"Don't kill him, we might need him," Lupin told him, heading to gather weapons and to change clothes.  He was only wearing shorts, he needed to be better dressed.  He couldn't put on his holster on this outfit.  He met Dawn in his closet, giving her a shrug.  "Fine, you can have your clothes back, but they're being hidden better as soon as he's back."

"Fine."  She pulled the top over her braless chest, tucking it into the denim shorts.  "Whatever.  As long as he comes back and is healthy and all that good shit.  Otherwise I'm going to get to kick David's ass and then some."  She took her sneakers with her so he could change too, heading down to sit on the bottom stair until someone gave her a target.  She heard the phone ringing and went running for it, grabbing it before anyone else could.  "Who are you and do you have him?" she demanded.  She took a deep breath.  "Sorry, no, we're waiting on something else.  Give me a minute."  She switched the lines, putting it up to Lupin's bedroom.  His informants were good, maybe they could help this time.  She waited there, grabbing the phone when it rang again.  "Yes?" she demanded.  "No, I'm not him, he's presently suffering.  Who are you, what do you want, and is he all right?  What?"  She fumed and pushed the intercom.  "He wants someone more calm to take the call," she announced.

Goemon came in to take it from her, putting it onto the speaker.   "What is it you want?" he demanded.

"Who are you?" the whiny voice asked.

"If you have to ask, you have not done your homework."

"If you guys keep insulting me, you'll never get him back in one piece."  Dawn growled and he coughed.  "You should collar that dog, it sounds mean.  I'd hate to have to shoot it when we meet to exchange precious bundles."

Lupin walked in.  "What do you want and where?" he demanded.

"Ah, a familiar voice."

"Not really.  You are?" he said impatiently.

"I am the man who has your student.  He is quite pretty with his pale silver hair and translucent skin.  His tan needs more work, but it is so suitable to him."  He purred into the phone.  "What do I want?  I want the sacred jade monkey statue.  If I get it, you get him.  If I don't get it, I keep him and use him as my toy."  Something muffled began to sound off.  "Shh, precious. I'd never hurt you.  I'd only protect you.  Wouldn't you like that?"

Dawn snorted. "Fuck little you know," she said bitterly.  "Where is this thing?"

The whiny voice laughed.  "Don't worry, it's nearby.  As are we.  Of course, if I see you without it, I'll have to be...mean to the poor thing.  He really doesn't deserve it, but I need that statue and you need him.  Oh, yes, I forgot.  I do know how and what he is and what was done to him basically.  I am more than familiar with the legend of Mr. Harris and his consort.  I have no intention of doing something similar unless you force me to.   He is not really my sort you know."  The phone hung up.

"If he knows," Goemon started.

"That means he's got mystical powers of some sort," Dawn finished.  "Or he's a magic user.  Either that or he's simply demonic and like most demons likes Xander."  Lupin looked at her.  "Thinking out loud," she told him.  "Does anyone know what that statue is?"

"Probably some heathen idol," Goemon pointed out.  "We can look it up in the database."

Dawn nodded.  "Speaking of, I'm supposed to be checking for emails today from the ICPO people.  I'll do that to keep calm while you guys find this thing, or Xander.  I'm already calling second shot.  I'll let Jigen have the first one."  She stomped out, running into the other man in the hallway.  "He called again."  Jigen looked at her.  "He has Xander, wants some funky jade monkey statue, threatened to hurt Xander but said he won't because he knows the legend of what he went through.  I'm going to surf the ICPO stuff.  Lupin's in the office with Goemon, and I'm still pissed."

Jigen gave her a pat on the arm.  "Me too, kid.  We'll get him back."

"We'd better, I've already called second shot.  You get the first."  She continued to stomp all the way up to her room and her laptop.  There was a case waiting on them.  It would give her something to do.  An interesting assassin with an interesting mode of operation.

Jigen walked into the study, putting the items in the bag on the desk.  "He was reading on the beach."

"That is what he said he was going to be doing," Goemon pointed out.  "Did she tell you?"  Jigen nodded.  "He will be fine.  He was protesting in the background."

"Good.  I'll expect him to leave me a little piece to hurt when we find him."

Lupin looked at the items.  "Everything's here.  Including the transmitter."  He looked at the other two.  "Find Fujiko, have her start looking up this statue and the related people.  I want to know now what we're dealing with."  They nodded.  "Goemon, leave David living for now.  You can torture him later.  We might need his skills.  Work with Dawn if you have to, or Marcus.  Jigen, I want you in here with the phone the whole time.  I'm going to be digging on the 'net for this thing."  They nodded, going to their assigned spots.  Lupin checked on Dawn.  "Anything good?"

"They want us to profile some strange assassin who uses a hairpin."

"I know him."

"Her."

"Her?"  He came in and looked at the case file.  "Huh.  She sure looked like a him.  She's mostly harmless.  Is for hire against bad husbands and parents.  Won't hurt kids. Likes to be paid in gold bullion, and is annoying to be around.  There's an assassin's convention next month, she's running the registration."  He gave her a pat.  "Keep Goemon calm, all right?"  She looked up at him and nodded.  "We'll find him.  The guy won't hurt Xander because he knows it won't get him what he wants.  All that will get him is dead."

"So he'll get dead after we get Xander back instead.  I can move with that plan," she agreed, smirking at him.  "Need my help?"

"No, work on that.  I don't feel like running into her again."  He left her alone, going to work in his room.  Jigen would call him down when the idiot called again.

***

"You fuckwit," Xander said snidely.  "You're going to die horribly for this.  I will make *sure* you die horribly for this.  Not only will you die horribly, I'll make sure that you're torn into little tiny, fucking pieces and *eaten* then regurged and eaten again!"

The kidnaper sighed.  "That's not very nice language."

"Fucking yay!  What the hell did you expect from me?  Me to be Mary Fucking Sunshine!  You *kidnaped* me!  I'm on fucking vacation!  Things like this aren't supposed to happen on vacation!"

"Stop it or else," he warned mildly, smirking at the boy.  "I can gag you again."

"If you do, I can't breathe, and if I can't breathe, you die a more horrible death sooner," Xander vowed.  At the very least Dawn would avenge him and make this person pay.  Jigen would probably help and so would Lupin but he doubted they'd be able to hold back Dawn.

The man sighed and shook his head.  "You leave me no option.  I'll have to discomfit you."  He walked over a narrow shelf in the cave.  "Do not even think about trying to call anything here to help you.  This cave is a holy place, it cannot be defiled by anything evil.  Even the marks on you are neutralized here because of the nature of the spells and goings- on in here."  He opened the wooden box on the shelf and pulled out a six-strand choker of diamonds with one ruby in the center front taking all the space over the adam's apple but the top and bottom rows.  He gently bowed to it then brought it over.  "I consider you unworthy to wear this but it will definitely make you shut up!"  He hitched it around the bound man's neck, then stepped back as the magical aura encompassed him.  "As you can tell, this one will change you.  You will now suit my vision of what you should be," he said with a devilish smirk.  "I can promise that I will not defile you until and unless I am thwarted so I would suggest you stop protesting, tell your friends to cooperate, and leave me alone while I think."

Xander, now female, with red hair, growled.  "I will kill you for this!" he, she, shouted.  "You are a dead man!"  She struggled against the leather cords binding her, but they were only getting tighter.  "I will see you eviscerated for this!  Holy cave or not, I will defile it with your blood!"

"Now, now," he said gently, still smirking, "if you react in such a manner, I can change you further."  He leaned down.  "Also, remember this.  Only I or an heir can open that choker.  And I have no heirs.  It is in your best interest to keep me alive."

"I can have someone make a clone of you," Xander snarled, snapping at the man's face.  He withdrew before Xander could take off the tip of his nose.  "I will kill you," he vowed, his eyes narrowing.  "You will die in a horrible fucking manner and I will laugh and piss on your broken, abused, mutilated, and grimy body."

"If you say so, dear.  Remember, you are mine to control now."

Xander snorted.  "Bet me.  No one controls me."

"We'll see," he said, heading to the outer chamber, where he had set up a small office area.  He sat down to see if the trail he had laid had been picked up yet.  Someone was on his site, the counter had changed.

In the back room, Xander prayed to any listening deity.  This was bad.  It was very, very bad.

***

Jigen answered the phone.  "Yeah?"  He grimaced, pushing the intercom button.  "It's the idiot."  He put the phone on speaker.  "I want proof that he's alive."

"Fine."  The whiny voice was joined by a higher one.  "Say something."

"Jigen, man, he's doing strange psychological shit to me," Xander's higher pitched voice said angrily.  "I'm going to kill him as soon as the fucker unties me."

Lupin walked in, slamming the door against the wall.  "Xander?"

"Boss, help.  He's got this thing that...."  His voice cut off.

"As you can hear," the whiny voice returned, "he is presently fine.  He will stay fine.  I am making sure he will stay fine.  He is unharmed, no matter what he thinks."  Xander screeched something in the background.  "Though my patience is running out for Mr. Harris.  Do you have my statue yet?"

"We only just figured out what it was," Lupin told him.  "We need at least a day or two to get it.  It's on the other side of the island."

"That's fine.  I can promise his safety for three more days, gentlemen."

Dawn walked in and growled.  "Yo, idiot.  I can't bring stuff across the realmal barriers.  It'll cause an explosion or for the realms to stick.  Instant trouble.  Is there actually one on this plane of existence?"

"Huh?" Jigen asked, giving her a look.

Dawn crossed her arms, staring him down.  "The statue he wants was supposedly taken form the local natives and broken in front of them in *this* version of reality.  In others, it still exists.  While I can go look at it, if I bring it back here one of two things will happen.  We'll have a giant sucking explosion that'll make what happened to Sunnydale look like a firecracker or we'll have a point where the two realities stick together and meld.  Which means that everyone from both planes will be here.  Two or more of each of us, looking at each other, and trying to figure this stuff out."

"Or more?" Lupin asked.

"If I have to go past one alternate universe, then the intervening ones could join into the bubblegum and hair mess.  We could have six or seven of us all in the same place, looking at each other, and then going slightly insane.  The human mind wasn't meant to look at itself as an alternate being with a different history."  She looked at the phone again.  "Well?"

"I'm assured it does exist in this time frame, Miss Summers.  After all, they still make statues of it.  They sell them at those nauseating little tourist traps in some of the villages.  So it should still exist."

"And if it doesn't?" she demanded.

"Then I'll be calling back in about six hours.  You should be able to feel it magically.  It is a holy relic.  I can feel one on this island so you should be able to as well."

She snorted.  "My gifts don't run that way, buddy.  My gifts are much different than yours."

"Then do a spell of seeking and find it," he said patiently.  "Otherwise the man who is like your big brother will never again appear to help you."  Xander screamed something again.  "Oh, shut up," he said angrily.  "They don't need to know that yet!"  He hung up.

"Dawn," Lupin said impatiently.

"I can't risk the lives of everyone on the fucking planet," she pointed out.  "No matter how much I'd like to, I can't.  I'd die before I could do that.  It's a self-negating switch built into my powers."

"We do not taunt the kidnaper," Jigen told her.  "It pisses them off and they hurt Xander."

She blew a piece of hair off her face.  "He's fine.  I've got a line into him.  That's what I've been doing.  Fujiko thinks it was destroyed too."  Lupin groaned.  "Xander's fine, but something is off.  I can't tell what," she admitted.  "He's still healthy and all that good stuff.  Otherwise, he's somewhere on the other side of the island. I won't know an exact location until I can get closer."

Lupin nodded.  "Thank you.  How close?"

"It's like a guided map.  The closer you get to the target, the more detailed it gets.  There's something blocking it.  Something powerful.  Something holy.  So we're looking for a shrine, a temple, a something that has power built into the essence of it and was used for something quiet, meditative, and calm."

"There are many shrines," Goemon said from the doorway.  "Also a few mystical caves, a Buddhist temple somewhere nearby, and a native shrine to that Monkey God."  He walked in, handing over the papers.  "That statue does exist, but it is heavily guarded.  It is far in the mountains at such a shrine and under constant surveillance."

"Can it be duplicated?" Dawn asked.

Jigen stood up.  "Isn't that risky?"

She looked back at him. "That depends on how good he is and what he wants it for.  If I can get one of those knock-offs, then charge it by duplicating the signature of the power in the original, then it might work."

"And if not?"

"We'll be facing the asshole as we hand it over?" she suggested.

Jigen nodded.  "Maybe.  He could do a drop and then pick it up later."

"Yes, but we can be finding Xander by then," she reminded him.

"Can the rest of us use that location?"

"Marcus can.  I can teach him."

"Good.  Get him up to speed.  Then go get the idol.  I want you doing something physical right now.  If you think you can duplicate it perfectly, then we'll try it and say it was a test."  She nodded, heading out to find Marcus.  He groaned. "I'm having a moment when I'm thinking bad thoughts."

"It's all right, boss.  They're not always like this.  Xander inspired this loyalty."  He gave him a pat to the back.  "Trust me, if it was anyone else, they'd still be coldly logical."

Lupin nodded.  "I know.  I even understand that, but they're infecting the rest of us."

"I would not have put it past Jigen to have gone off to find the boy even before we rejoined," Goemon pointed out.  "He was his apprentice first."

"I can still shoot you," Jigen reminded him.

"Enough," Lupin said tiredly.  "We will not fight.  That's what this asswipe wants."  He looked at his best friends.  "We'll get him back.  We'll make him pay.  We'll fix Xander and make him a happy person again.  After that, we'll go back to the house in France and recover from our vacation."  They nodded.  "Are we going to have more emotional outbursts?"

"Want something to throw?" Jigen asked him.

"Desperately, but I'm not giving in," Lupin said firmly, going to check with Fujiko. Dawn was yelling about needing a map.

***

Xander looked up, it had been three days.  The idiot was still smirking at him.  He had changed him each morning to a different woman.  He was tired of this.  He was going to snap.  He was going to do something desperate.  His hands could touch each other.  He could reach the summoning tattoo.  He didn't want to use it but wouldn't that sort of fucking be better than a mental one?  He looked at the idiot as he brought in some food, turning his head away from the proffered fork.  "No."

"You must eat, if only to keep your strength up for when I let you escape," he said patiently.

"I'm allergic to that," Xander said snidely.  "I don't feel like dying because I can't breathe today."

The man frowned.  "You have food allergies?"  Xander nodded, giving him a disgusted look. "Since when?"

"Since always!  Goemon was right, you didn't do much homework, did you?  I probably did more homework while I was in school than you've done on this case and that's saying something."

The kidnaper frowned and ate the stew himself.  "Fine, I'll eat it.  I'll make you something later.  Just beans?"  Xander nodded.  "Fine.  I'll not feed you soy either, just in case."  He picked up the phone.  "Shall we call the most amusing people?  Miss Summers really does growl quite nicely."

"Sure, go for it," Xander said, struggling against the hand that was trying to undo the necklace and rehitch it to change him again.  "No!"  The phone was knocked onto the floor and he heard a voice answer.  "No, get away from me!  I don't care if this is some holy cave, you're fucking perverting it by doing this to me!  I'll have your nuts for this!"

The man tisked, shaking his head.  "Such naughty language from such a young lady's mouth," he said, frowning at him.  He put down the plate and managed to get the necklace hitched again.  "There, I believe they'll like that version of what I've done to you better."

"Take the fucking necklace off me!" Xander demanded.  "I don't want to look like this!  I'll fucking tip over in a strong wind!"

"Yay.  Lupin will admire it and he'll be too busy staring to stop me from escaping."  He picked up the phone and listened.  "Ah, naughty boy," he said with a smirk.  "I'll punish you for that if they're late."  Xander spit at him.  "Since you've heard, yes, I've done some minor modifications of the boy."  He reached over and gagged him when he opened his mouth to start yelling again.  "Yes, he's fine.  Where is Miss Summers?"

***

Lupin grimaced.  "She's on her way back.  She's got the statue.  Where do we meet?"

"How about here?  That way I don't have to pack and drive.  I can't really lift the poor dear all that well."

Lupin looked around the office, noticing he was alone.  Everyone else was taking a long nap in preparation for the assault.  "Which mystical cave?"  The door opened and Jigen walked in, waving the statue.  "We've got it.  Where and when?"  He took down directions, nodding at each step.  "Fine.  Have him there waiting on us.  Or else."  He hung up and turned around.  "Shut the door."  Jigen shut the door, locking it and leaning against it; he knew that look and it had just went to hell.  "The man has something that has somehow changed Xander's form."  Jigen's mouth started to open.  "I don't know, he was shouting something about tipping over in a good wind.  Apparently that's the way he'll be escaping, while I'm staring at his new chest."

"I'd stare too if the boy ended up with tits," Jigen noted.  He put the statue down before he threw it. "How?"

"I don't know.  Dawn!" Lupin shouted.  She walked in, through the door and Jigen.  "Cute trick," he said dryly.  "What things could change someone's sex?"

Dawn sat down, considering it.  "A few very major chaos spells.  Six or seven artifacts.  One chastity belt that's been blessed for a male concubine to hide him.  Oh, and there's something that can make you hallucinate that you've changed sex.  I heard about it in some club in New York a few years back."  She looked at him. "Why?"

"Xander yelled something about being different, noted he had a well-built chest."  Lupin crossed his arms, looking at her.  "He said something about a necklace."

"That narrows it down to two.  Anything else?"

Lupin considered it.  "He said something about a holy cave."  Dawn smirked.  "The directions he gave me were to a temple.  The asshole said something about versions.  I'm not sure what he meant."

Dawn nodded, smirking at him.  "Then it can only be one thing.  It's like my illusion band.  It will create a new identity for him based on whoever put it on him.  The bad is that the idiot has to remove it himself, him or an heir."

"I'm not counting on him having bred," Jigen pointed out. "The good?"

"It won't hurt Xander and shouldn't have any lasting effects as long as he doesn't put it on again.  If he does, he'll continue to change.  It isn't warping him, but if he uses it he'll change and if he doesn't he'll stay fixed as a male."  She stood up.  "He can change Xander to whatever he wants him to look like, or in this case her.  That means he's probably getting his rocks off looking at her tits himself."  Jigen growled.  "Not my fault," she reminded him.  "I'm just a source of knowledge.  If it is, it's a handy fucking thing to have around, but we'll have to get him to remove it."

"That means capturing him and keeping him alive while we torture him," Jigen pointed out.  "I can do that."

"Good, we'll work on that.  Dawn, is that the original?"

"No, the original is in the jeep.  We have to give it back."  Lupin nodded, that was fair.  "That's a copy, a damn good copy."  She tossed her hair back. "Let's go."

"Go find a weapon or six," Lupin said tolerantly, giving her back a smile.  He looked at Jigen.  "Are you going to make it through this?"

"Sure.  I always do.  I might need therapy after this, but I'll make it through until we have him back."

"Good.  I might join you in therapy.  I never expected this level of problems when I agreed to take on students."  He sighed.  "Why did I do it again?"

"Because otherwise we'd all have to have kids," Jigen pointed out.  "Soon."

Lupin nodded.  "Oh, yeah, that reason."  He shrugged.  "They're worth more than the trouble they occasionally cause.  This is minor compared to some of the problems we had."  He grabbed the statue and walked out after Jigen.  He already had his weapon.  Dawn could follow them if she wanted in on this one.  Goemon was already in the back of the jeep, holding the original statue.  "Be gentle with that, we've got to send it back to them."

"I will be," the samurai reminded him.  "We should leave."

"Yes, we should," Lupin agreed, starting the engine and going off.  That left Fujiko's bike for the rest of them to use.  Dawn couldn't go to where she didn't know.

***

Xander took a deep breath.  Something was going wrong.  He could feel something was going wrong.  Something very bad was going wrong and it wasn't just him.  "Yo, buttmuncher," he called.  The annoying prat walked in and looked him, giving him a small smirk.  "What is that?"

"What is what?"

"That current of agony I'm feeling.  What is it?"

The man shrugged.  "I don't feel any disturbance.  I'll find out though.  We don't want anything to go wrong."

"Yeah, sure, whatever.  Just remember, you're taking this thing off or I'm taking your head. The little one first of course."

"Of course," he agreed with a smile. "You really are very amusing.  For being a white knight, you're full of darkness."

"I have over fifty kills to my name, of humans," Xander told him.  The man shrugged, not looking concerned.  "Dude, I'm not a white knight anymore.  When my friends gifted me, I stopped being one.  I'm no more a white knight than my mentors are."  The man scoffed and headed back into the other room.  "Ethan," he groaned again.  He had been calling for the last few days.

Ethan appeared, smiling sadly down at him.  "I'm sorry, Xander.  I cannot help."

Xander looked shocked.  "Huh!  What the fuck!"

The wizard came back and fell to his knees.  "Janus' High Priest," he said reverently.

Ethan gave him a look.  "I will deal with you soon for harming what was once mine," he said coldly.  He sat down beside Xander, touching him on the forehead.  "I want to help, Xander, but I cannot.  It has to be this way this time."  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "I am protecting more than you," he said bitterly.  "If you are not contained for a while longer, I and all the other chaos people could well die.  I can't let that happen."  He gave him a light kiss on the lips.  "I like this new form, but it is not what I would have chosen for you."  He stroked over the damp lips.  "When you prayed for help, it forced the thing that had you out of hiding.  I set Faith on it," he said gently, giving him a small grin.  "It was a beautiful fight," he purred.  "She was death on high heels and it showed how much she loves you."  He kissed him again.  "I wish you could have seen it.  She avenged every wrong done to you wonderfully, as I knew she would."  He leaned back, reminding himself he could not take that last bit of innocence the boy had.  "For now, you have to be here.  Or somewhere more suitable to your nature really.  Boy," he snapped.  The wizard crawled over, bowing at his feet.  "You will be moving my most precious one tonight.  You will be going to a mystic's cave outside of Pamplona, Spain.  There you shall wait for Lupin to arrive."

"How will he know, most high one?" he pleaded.

"I will go tell him such as soon as I am done here," Ethan said coldly, kicking him.  The man gave him a hurt look.  "Xander was mine and you hurt that which not only amuses Janus, but also made me help the light in Janus' name.  You are taking the thing that most amuses our Lord and Master and besmirching it.  I'd hate to be you now."  He gave Xander one last passionate kiss, making the boy groan.  "You will be safe while the power evens out.  Remember, do not think of me while it has you.  Not for the next week or so."  He stared into the boy's eyes.  "The power will move through you, Xander, making you the most dangerous and wanted creature on the Earth and in Hell.  I am protecting you by letting this cretin continue to guard you for me and your present keeper.  Until the power fades, he will keep you.  You will be saved and this one will not touch you," he said, glaring at the kidnaper.  "If you so much as touch his remaining innocence, you will suffer.  It has special significance to the Light.  It will cause new warriors to be born and the balance will slowly return."

"Huh?" Xander asked.

"Xander, your last remaining innocence is something foretold.  We didn't realize it until that twat found it.  Even Ripper was disgusted by it.  It said nothing about the incident or the demon, only that one who was so corrupted against his will would bring about the birth of new warriors.  That the power released from your release would power and mark them.  They're all European though and I need you there.  Can you hold on for up to another two weeks?"

"Do I have to?"

"You do," Ethan said blandly.  Xander sighed and shook his head.  "I know.  The things the Powers make you do to serve them," he said with a small smirk. "After this, take your filtering little mind and go have fun for a bit longer.  Let Summers buy you some leather pants that are tight enough to show off your beautifully uncircumcised cock.  Let them spoil you.  You really do have to learn to trust someone other than Dawn."

"I trust them," Xander said warmly.

"You trust Dawn and for them to come help.  You do not trust them to help because they like you.  If you could, you would be fully healed and able to move on.  If you do, I'll miss you, but you deserve a mate who likes to pounce you for odd reasons, not because I need worn out or I need to feel the touch of another being to remember my humanity."  He dove down, stealing another kiss.  "I do adore you so, Xander, but you are not meant for me.  Be the angel of the dark for those who deserve it.  It is who you are.  Do not sleep with Summers again however.  Not unless you want her to become more attached to you."  He smirked.  "Or at least not for another year or so.  Let her have time to find someone else too."  Xander pouted.  "Don't do that."  Xander turned up the pout, adding wet eyes.

"Please don't do that."  Ethan sat down, leaning down to hold the precious thing.  "I would not do this if the fate of the world wasn't in my hands," he reminded him.  "Please understand.  It's not a fate worse than death.  You are still a man, no matter how big your breasts are or how tempting they feel against my chest."  He forced himself to pull back, looking down at him.  "You are like a drug, Alexander.  I do not want to sober up but it is best for you."  He stood up and adjusted himself.  "I'll be going now.  Go to Spain.  Protect that which was mine.  Suffer later.  I'll give you a week's head start once he's free."  The kidnaping wizard nodded, bowing to him again.  "Good. Go."  He disappeared, heading over to where he could feel Lupin lurking.  "Small issue," he said as he appeared, startling them.  He found a sword at his throat and pushed it away.  "Don't do that.  Killing the messenger before he delivers the message is a bad thing, it means you'll have to wait longer to find the poor dear."  He looked at Jigen.  "Unfortunately," he started.

"Oh, damn," Jigen sighed, shaking his head.

"Let him finish," Lupin said coldly.  "Unfortunately what, Rayne?"

"Unfortunately, the demon who had him came when he figured out Xander was in distress.  Which was something we were counting on happening sometime in the near future.  Hence me giving him up."  He and Lupin locked eyes.  "The boy does draw odd trouble sometimes.  Remember that from now on."  Jigen started to growl.  "Fine, sorry, not that sort usually, just oddness most of the time.  Demons like him, he smells good to them."  He shrugged and moved closer.  "Unfortunately, when Faith killed the demon to avenge his treatment, his power was released.  Xander is an incredible power filter.  He's also going to be telepathic and empathic for the next week or so.  I'm having him moved to a safer location.  Otherwise every demon on the face of this plane will be coming here.  That cave won't protect him.  You can't protect him from them.  For now, he's going to the land of bulls.  He'll be in a mystical cave there.  The thing once housed a seer who saw Christ or some such," he said with a wave of his hand.  "Like Mohamed's only Christian.  He'll be fine in about a week.  This whole choker thing is bothering the shit out of him but he'll live.  He's still very pure in that way and the thing will be facing me if he doesn't stay that way."  He smirked.  "Actually, he'll be facing me unless you kill him for me.  Please, make it horrible and last a very long time if you do so.  He dared touch what was once mine and I am very possessive," he said suavely.  He smirked and Lupin punched him in the mouth.  "Ow!  You're as bad as bloody Ripper with that."  He wiped the blood off, shrugging.  "Fine.  It is necessary to protect the boy.  You can find him, you're that good.  Do so.  The only thing you'll have to worry about is whether or not that man who stalks you gets to him first.  Janus is amused by the boy and likes to throw him little curves like that.  He did promise to leave him alone from now on however.  He's found a new toy, Dawn's youngest nephew."  He smirked and teleported off before he could be hit again.

Goemon looked at the other two.  "Should we continue?"

"We'll go to the cave," Lupin said coldly.  "I don't like this.  They're using him as some sort of toy."  He stomped off, finding the cave thanks to the nice signs by the touristry board.  It was empty.  He stomped back out, looking at his crew.  "We're heading to Spain."

"Fine.  I'll call for a pickup," Jigen agreed.  "Should I wait until we get home so we have time to pack?"

"Yes," Lupin agreed.  "He'll be safe.  Then I'm going to kill that snotty little bastard who has him and then Rayne."  He smiled, thinking fond thoughts of torture on his way back to the jeep.  "We'll send the statue off tonight."

"We can do the research on where the cave might be from the plane," Goemon offered.  "It will save us time."

***

Dawn was pacing when they came back, glaring at Lupin.  "Rayne was here.  I got him in the nuts for you."  The three men winced.  "He deserved it," she defended.  "There are three mystical caves in Spain.  Seville has two and Pamplona has one right outside it.  All three are blocked off to the pubic, all three are considered holy shrines.  I can't enter two of them," she announced.  "I'll get really sick, it's like an allergy in my core energy."  Lupin nodded.  "Fujiko said the plane will be here in about four hours.  We'll be taking a copter from here to the airport.  She's already arranged all that.  The housekeeper has everyone packed but Jigen, he's got laundry being done.  What can I do to help?"

"I want to know about this choker," Lupin told her.

She nodded.  "All right.  Anything else?"

"Anything you can find on those caves," Jigen told her.  "Depth, maps, whatever."  She nodded.  "Which can't you enter?"

"Pamplona and the one in Seville that's been turned into a holy site under a monastery.  They're warded against my sort of energy."

"Fine.  Good," Lupin decided.  "We'll need backup anyway.  Rayne said a week." Dawn snorted.  "You don't think so?"

"The demon was the third in line for the throne of Hell.  If all his power washes through Xander, it could be weeks, not week.  As much as three of them.  After three or four days it'll level off to a small trickle and he'll be more than safe enough to be around.  No matter how much power washes through him, he'll be safe in a few days.  The rest will trickle off."

Lupin smirked at her.  "Good job.  Which would you pick?"

Dawn shrugged.  "I don't know the cretin.  Rayne told me bulls."

"Bulls.  Where do they run the bulls?" Goemon asked.

"I always thought that was Madrid," Dawn admitted.  "I've also always thought that was a really cruel and nasty celebration to hold so I haven't really paid attention."

"They run them in Pamplona," Lupin said, considering it.  He handed the statue back to Dawn.  "Send them back.  I doubt he'll want them."  She nodded, taking them both to send them both back. Maybe the natives would like the second one too.  "Which one?" he asked.

"Seville has the better airport," Jigen pointed out.  "If Pops is going to be there, we could track him."

"True.  We can start in Seville and move if he's not there.  Or we could do the unexpected and start in Pamplona and move back to Seville.  It's closer to home."  He looked at Goemon, who shrugged.  "Fine, don't have a clue."

"Whichever we choose, he would probably go to the other."

"Seville has bad memories, I'd rather check it and move on," Jigen offered.

Lupin nodded.  "Done.  We'll fly into Seville.  We'll send the kids to check the caves there then *we'll* go to Pamplona."  Fujiko coughed.  "You're going to wait back at the house."  She glared at him.  "I can make your husband enforce it," he said dryly.  "There's too much stuff going on here to risk you."  He walked away, going to check his bags.  He had stuff hidden all over the house.

Goemon stared her down.  "I agree.  I do not want you touched by that much magic, or holy caves."  She stormed off.  "It is better for her anyway," he noted, heading off to stare at the ocean until she calmed down.  He wouldn't be getting into their room for a while.

Jigen shook his head.  That man was braver than him.  Fujiko was in a snit already, pissing her off made it worse.  He headed for the laundry, hoping his clothes were nearly done.

***

Xander groaned as the man was led into the cave and sat against the wall.  "What?  You needed an audience to see how perverted and sick you are?" he demanded.

"Hey, let her go," Zenigata demanded.  He struggled with his handcuffs.

"Wonderful."  Xander glared at his captor.  "I will make you pay."

"I'm sure you will."  He blew a kiss.  "Behave, or else."

"Or else what?  You'll rape me?  I doubt it."

The man shook his head.  "All I have to do is commit suicide and you're like that forever."

"Hey, there's always cloning," Xander reminded him.  The wizard laughed and walked away.  Xander looked at the cop, who was staring at him.  "What?  Haven't you ever seen a woman tied up before! It's not like I asked for this shit!"

Zenigata blushed, looking away.  "No, I wasn't looking at that at all," he admitted.  "You look familiar."

"It's the necklace, it changed me for a bit," Xander said bitterly.  "After this is over, Gramps, we're gonna have to deal with you too."  He struggled but the leather was cutting into his wrists again.  "Can't I at least get up and use the facilities?" he shouted.

"No, you can wait."

"If I wet myself, I'm going to add more horrors to your torture!" he shouted.

"Gramps?" Zenigata asked, starting to come out of the doping spell the wizard had put on him.  "Only a few people call me that."  He looked at the face again, ignoring the rest.  "How?"  His eyes opened wide.  "You are him!"  He struggled to his feet, looking down at him.  "How did this happen!  You're male!"

"No fucking shit," Xander said bitterly.  "It's the damn choker.  And only *he* can take it off me!"  He glared at him.  "Quit staring at my breasts!"  The inspector quickly looked away.  "Oh, I'm so going to torture someone later," he complained.  "Even if I have to claim my rightful spot in hell, I'm going to make someone pay!"

"You're bleeding."

"Yeah, I noticed that," Xander said dryly.  "Thanks for the bulletin."  He felt another surge of power and groaned.  "Back up.  There's more odd shit coming and it'll get you too."  The inspector backed away, looking at him like he was scary.  "Like this is my fault?" he demanded. "I didn't ask for this! I was taking a nice vacation to finish my recovery from my last torture session and I was kidnaped.  This is not the nice vacation I wanted!  I didn't want to stare at my own breasts!"

"Shut up," the wizard yelled.  "If I have to charm more people, I'm using your energy."

Xander glared that way, using the energy surge to hurt the man.  He had been giving him constant migraines for days.  Then he looked at the inspector.  "Why are you so obsessed with Lupin?"

"Because he's a crook.  A dirty, filthy, murdering crook."

"Okay.  Let me rephrase that," Xander said bitterly.  "Out of all the crooks in the world, why him?  Why not someone like a serial killer?  Or someone like Manson, who's just insane.  Why Lupin and his crew?"

"Because they do more damage to the spirit.  I can't do a thing about the worse people, but I can do something about him."

Xander, who could nominally read minds for now, Ethan had been right about that, nodded.  "That's not it."  Zenigata glared at him.  "The strange power surges I'm having let me read minds," he said dryly, smirking at him.  "That's not why you do it."  He sent him an image he had pulled from his mind.  Very nice licking up the barrel of the gun.  He wasn't sure which, he couldn't tell.  "Cute.  I'm hoping it's not going to transfer to me?"  Zenigata glared harder at him.  "Thank you for small miracles."  He looked up.  "You and I will still dance soon, Rayne.  This sucks ass!"

The wizard came out, shoving the inspector back to the ground.  "He is obsessed.  Each obsession has a sexual component.  You need to learn to think quieter," he noted, glaring at his charge.  He backhanded him, breaking Xander's lip open.  "For now, we shall see what we can do about you."  He undid the necklace, holding the head still no matter how much the young man fought to bunch up his neck.  When he put it back on, he smirked.  "There, perfect."  He waved his hand and said a simple phrase, putting Xander into a nearly see- through, floor-length nightgown.  It was very thin lace with zips of color spaced over it.  "There, I like that look."

"Fucking yay," Xander told him.  "I'm still not putting out for you.  You had a better shot when I was male."

"I don't want you.  If the High Priest of Janus likes you that much, you are not meant for us lower worshipers.  You are meant to serve at the temple.  This will inflame him and make him take you back.  He will be pleased with me."

"Ethan hates it when I wear clothes."

"I can do that as well," the wizard warned.

"Never mind."  Xander glared as the man walked away.  "Can't I at least have a shower?"

"Later, dear."  He smirked back at him and Xander made him run into a wall.  "Keep it up.  I can take away that pleasure too."

"And I can make you want to commit suicide but not be able to do it too," Xander said mock-cheerfully.

The wizard shrugged. "Only you will suffer.  You're too big to do your chosen job, but not so outrageous as the last time I made you a redhead.  I think I like this look on you.  Nearly perfect.  You just need some makeup to cover up those horrible scars."  He went back into the other room.

Xander blew some of his black hair out of his eyes.  "Wonderful.  Now I've got the gayest wizard on the planet doing my makeover too."

Zenigata looked at him.  "You do look nice like that."

"And I repeat, I can make you want to commit suicide," Xander told him.

"Sorry.  I'll stay over here and be quiet.  I'm sure your *friends* will be coming soon."

"They'd better.  Or else I'm going to have to go postal."  Xander glared at the doorway, making the other man shriek as his cock quit working, permanently.  At least until he found the single goat in all the world who looked like a long-haired bunny rabbit because that's all he would ever desire for the rest of his life.  Xander smirked.  "Take that," he muttered.

"I will kill you for that!" the wizard shouted.

"Stand in line," Xander yelled back.  "Gramps wants to kill me more than you do!"

"No, I don't," Zenigata pointed out. "I only want you in jail."

Xander lifted his head.  "You don't want us shot?"  The inspector shook his head.  "Damn, you are more obsessed than I thought.  I'll have to warn him about you."  He put his head back down, remembering all he had been taught about controlling his anger.  He needed every lesson, and all the ones he hadn't had yet, but he was making the most of it so far.   When the wizard came back, he was set free and dragged into the bathroom under a freezing spell.  He couldn't move but he did get cleaned.  Roughly but the asshole got every inch of him.

***

Lupin looked at the cave, then at Jigen and Dawn.  She shuddered and moved away.  "You gonna live?"

"Yeah.  Just bring him out.  I'll baby him on the way to the hotel."  Her head snapped up.  "It's Gramps."  She grimaced.  "The idiot captured him too.  I think Xander's done something to his mind."  She shuddered again.  "I'm not dealing with him too."  She went to wait in the back of the car.

Jigen sighed.  "Do you want to swat the boy?"

"No, I think he'll at least make it amusing."  They walked in together and found the unconscious inspector snoring into the stone floor.  They looked in the other direction and found Xander unconscious and spread out on the bed.  His dark hair and very pale skin were highlighted by the silver netting gown he wore.  It was see-through and very sensual looking, highlighting all the natural curves of his body.  She looked stunning in it and it only made the men madder.  "We're here," Lupin announced.  The wizard came out of the back.  "Take it off him."

"I'll remove it later.  I find myself in need of your help to leave the country rather quickly."  He walked out and wiggled his fingers.  "Only these can remove it from him.  Only these can restore that one man's mind to it's original state.  Your boy has been showing him the depths of his obsession and it's been very...instructive."  Lupin shrugged.  "You don't care?"

"I can retrain him in that form," Jigen told him, pulling his gun.  "Release him."  The wizard sighed and walked over, removing the leather straps.  "He's bleeding."

"He keeps fighting, even though he knew I wouldn't hurt him if he quit.  Rayne made sure I knew what my fate would be."  He looked at Lupin. "If you help me leave Spain for Greece so I can appeal to Janus directly I will gladly release the boy and let him keep the necklace.  Something like that would be rather handy for someone like you.  I can also free the other two he wears so he can take them off.  I can do anything you want if you let me live."

Lupin shrugged.  "Blow him up, Jigen.  We only need his hands."

"Sure thing, boss," he said, raising his gun.

"You need me living," he said smugly.

"No, we only need Dawn for that," Jigen told him.  He cocked the hammer.  The man groaned and sank to his knees, curling around the dagger in his stomach.

Marcus walked in, glaring at him as he pulled his next one.  "I will see you dead for this," he noted.  "You have not only demoted yourself in the eyes of your Lord and Master, but you have defiled that which was sacred.  That necklace was meant to protect those who would devote themselves as nuns."  The wizard looked at him.  "Release the boy."  The wizard leaned over, releasing the catch.  "Both of them."  The necklace was fully removed, turning Xander back into a male.  "Thank you."  Marcus grabbed the necklace then turned to face Zenigata.  "He'll be fine.  The roots of all obsessions are in sexual desire.  Rayne said his mind was clearer now, he wouldn't be so rampant while he figured himself out."  He stormed off, going to kick Rayne's ass now.  He was fair game now that they had Xander back.  He and Dawn had agreed on that.  Kick the wizard was a fun game.

Lupin picked the boy up, weighing him.  "He's fine.  No lost weight."  He carried him out then came in to get Zenigata.  "He'll be fine, Xander was mumbling that he fixed him."  He looked at the wizard, then at Jigen.  "Have fun.  Come out when you're done."  He left, leaving the inspector outside in the bushes.  He was even nice enough to take off the handcuffs.  Then he went back to the car and looked at the young man.  "Necklace?"

"Marcus' pocket."  Dawn looked at him. "He's in good health, only a few rips on his wrist.  Leather cords are not kind and Xander doesn't like being tied up."  She stroked his arm.  "Xander, wake up.  It's Dawnie."  He groaned and mumbled something, turning in the other direction.  She shook her head.  "Give him a few.  He will want to change."

"We're heading home immediately," Lupin told her.  "He can change once we get there."  He got out of the way as Jigen came out, letting him see.  "She said he's fine."

"He is.  He'll stay that way.  Necklace?"

"Marcus."

"Good.  Keep it."  He got into the front passenger's seat, looking at Marcus.  "Let's go."

"Going," he agreed, moving as soon as Lupin climbed in and shut the door.  "Gramps?"

"Bushes.  He'll be fine," Lupin told him.   Or at least he hoped so.  He looked at the boy sleeping on Dawn's lap, taking him so she could shift and buckle up again.  She was a big one on seatbelts.

***

Xander woke up in his own bed, blinking at the familiar ceiling.  "Wow.  When do I get to kick his ass?"

"Not an available option," Jigen said from beside him.  Xander turned his head to look at him.  "Welcome back to the land of the awake.  You okay?"

"Fine."  Xander pulled his hair up.  "Why is it still black?"

"You've got two other necklaces on.  One's interfering."

Xander searched the back of his neck, finding the clasps.  "One hides my tattoos, I knew about that one."  He lifted off the unfamiliar one, looking at the small cat's eye in the center.  He returned to what he normally looked like.  Pale silver hair, pale skin with a hint of tan.  Dark brown eyes.  Thin body. A few scars but not as many as before.  He looked at Jigen, handing that one over.  "I'll think about that later."  The older man nodded, putting it into his pocket.  Xander flipped onto his side.  "Am I in trouble?"

"No.  Why?" Jigen asked.

"Because I'm a trouble magnet."

"Yeah, your ex said that was his fault."  He grinned.  "He and Lupin went a few rounds recently.  He's just come back actually.  Want to see him and Dawn?  She's driving the rest of us insane."

Xander reached out, touching him.  "I knew you'd come."

"But?"

"But I thought she'd be leading the charge," he admitted.

Jigen nodded.  "You're learning but you're not totally there yet," he admitted.  "It took me a while too. "

"Hopefully he doesn't take five or six rescues like it did for you," Lupin said as he walked in, closing and locking the door behind him.  "I knocked Dawn out, she'll be up later."  He came in and sat on the foot of the bed.  "You all right?"  Xander nodded.  "No funny feelings?"

"Can I say women's bodies are really strange?" Xander asked.  They nodded.  "They've got itchy stuff and all that nasty crap.  I've never had my nipples itch so much in my life, or other parts either.  How do they stand that?"

"Some of them shave," Lupin said with a shrug and a grin.  "We're keeping the necklace just in case.  Marcus did most of the research."

"He's good at that," Xander agreed.  He forced himself to sit up, curling his feet closer to his body.  "Am I okay?"

"You're fine, Xander."  He touched the pale hair.  "It came back?"

"There was another one on him," Jigen told him.  "He took it off."

"Good.  Keep that one too.  That's one handy artifact to have in this life."  Xander grinned.  "No other problems?  No Stockholm Syndrome?  No desire to suddenly wear panties?  Nothing like that?"

"Not in the least," Xander said dryly.  "We'll let David be the girl from now on."  Both older men laughed at that.  "Should I get up and take a shower?"

"If you want, or you could have dinner up here," Jigen told him. "It's only been three days."

"I was asleep for three days?"  Lupin nodded. "Why?"

"We've decided you were guarding your virtue too heavily to sleep," Lupin said with a small smirk.

"No, Ethan told him that if he touched me he was going to lose his dick for good.  But that's okay, because I made him like bunny rabbits and he'll never bother another woman again," he said with a small smirk of his own.  "How's Gramps?"

"Fine.  Better actually.  He's calmer, like he was ten or fifteen years ago.  What did you do to him?"

"I blocked the nasty sexual images from him," Xander told him. "After exposing them, making him shudder when he realized he had thought them himself, I destroyed them with his help.  He's back to wanting us in jail instead of wanting us to tie him up while in the jail."

Lupin gave him a gentle hug.  "Thank you."  He stood up.  "Are you coming down?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  We left you some clothes in the closet."  He looked at Jigen before walking out.

Jigen coughed.  "We left the dress we found you wearing in there too, kid."  He stood up, giving him a gentle hug.  "You looked odd as a dame.  I'm not going to get used to that."

"If you have to, I'm going to jump off somewhere really high," Xander told him.  "I do not want to be a woman.  A bottom, but not a woman." Jigen laughed, letting him go to ruffle his hair.  "Anything else go wrong because of me?"

"No, Rayne said he released you fully from being the amusement of his little statue.  No more being a trouble magnet for you, my boy."  He winked and walked out, heading down to have a small drink.  It was in relief and he wasn't the only one.  "That was much better.  He seems normal.  He made a joke about sex."  Lupin smiled at that.  Dawn squealed and went running.  "I think he took another amazingly fast shower."

"Either that or she heard he was up and now she's up to jump him in the shower," Lupin noted.

"Does that bother you?"

"No.  They're friends. We're friends.  It's fine with me," he said.  "You?"  Jigen looked at him.  "Please, it's obvious," he teased.

"It's nothing more than me thinking about him like my own kid.  Get over it."

"Fine.  You're in denial.  We'll see."  He sat behind his desk, looking at the messages built up in Dawn's account.  "Should we answer some of these?"

"It's a handy cover, we should probably keep it," Jigen agreed.

Lupin opened up the first case that had been sent to them, smirking.  "Amateur."

Jigen laughed.  "The job should only be done by the professionals and those learning," he agreed.

***

Two days later, David walked into the sitting room where Xander was napping in the sun, clipping a familiar choker around his neck.  Xander woke up as he started to change.  "We had a talk.  You need to learn how to use this too.  It's too damn handy not to use.  Sorry."  He ran before Xander could get off the couch.

"DAVID!" Xander shouted, climbing to his feet to chase after him.  He stopped at the doorway, finding Lupin standing there.  "David," he said bitterly.

"Why?"

"Because he decided I need to learn how to use it."

"He has a point," Lupin admitted, "but I wasn't going to force you this way.  David!" he yelled, bringing the boy.  "Take it off him.  That is not a form he'll be using."  Xander looked at him.  "If you want to, I can do that.  It's not that much different and it would help you know how to use your body better, just in case."  Xander grimaced and shook his head, turning around and heading back to his couch.  Lupin grabbed David by the hair.  "That was cruel and is not appropriate," he told him. "Take it off now."

"No."  He got free.  "Xander has a few gifts and he's got to learn how to use them for the good of the group.  Dawn uses her body, he can learn how to use his."

"What makes you think he doesn't already know?" Lupin asked.

"Because he's not knowing how to use this new one.  It's too damn handy to pass up the chance.  Besides, it'll mean he can slip in and out of places easier.  I can change it without removing it totally but I'm not doing it.  Not until he can pass himself as a woman convincingly."  Goemon came in from the outside, already frowning.  "You agree with us, right?"

"I do not.  That should be Xander's choice, not yours and not anyone else's."

Xander came back to the door.  "David, I'm going to kill you," he noted.  "Some day soon I'm going to take off your head and expose your insides.  What makes you think I need to learn this?"

"Because it could be the one thing that saves us," David told him. "We're thieves, Xander, and you've just been handed the ultimate disguise.  Think about what you could do.  You could change to do a job, then change to escape.  You could change into one of us to let us escape then lead the cops off until you change.  It's too good not to use."

"It's also dangerous.  I could get stuck like this," Xander told him.  "This and the other one."  David's mouth fell open.  "I just found out when I woke up.  It was hiding some things."  He blew his bangs out of his face.  "I don't want to be a woman.  I don't like being a woman.  Women suck.  Because of this I may never touch another woman again.  I may not even be able to bottom ever again because of this.  I don't want to be female, have tits, have an innie sexual system, or any of it.  So take it off before I force you to."

"That's the other thing you need trained," David said quickly, jumping on that.  "I've gotten a few images off you while you were reading the other night," he admitted.  "Only when I touched you."

"I'm taking control lessons," Xander defended. Goemon nodded to agree.  "See!  Now take it off!" he shouted.

"Calm down," Lupin told him.  "He'll take it off you or else."

David sighed and came over, taking it partially off but leaving it on as well.  It changed Xander's body, shrinking his chest and flattening his stomach.  Then David took off running.  "No, I'm not!"

"Spoiled fucking brat!" Xander shouted, running after him.  He winced in pain.  "Ow.  Hurts."

Lupin shook his head, doing the gentlemanly thing.  "You go find Jigen.  We'll find David."  He headed off.  It was his house, he had grown up playing in it.  There wasn't much of it he didn't know.

Xander stormed down to the range, already pouting.  "David," he explained at the curious look.  "Stupid fucking brat."

"Well, it's handy, but damn annoying," Jigen told him.  "Try."  He handed over the gun, watching as Xander tried to aim it two-handed.  "You're not going to be able to do that," he offered.  "You're squishing yourself."

Xander sighed and did it one-handed, and found he couldn't hit the spot he had planned on hitting.  "What!"

"Women have a lower center of gravity.  It throws their aim wide," he explained.  He patted Xander on the back.  "It's only going to get stranger from here."  Xander turned to look at him, the gun loose in his hand. Jigen took it from him before he could get shot.  "I agree with the underlying principle, but not the execution.  It would be handy."  Xander groaned, shaking his head as he walked out.  "Xander, wait," he called.  The boy came back.  "I don't support him locking you into this.  No one but him and Dawn do.  Marcus nearly killed him earlier.  I thought it had stopped the shit."  He touched the pale hair.  "It is a gift, one that could help us all.  I think you should learn."

"I don't want to do this ever again."

"What if it saves us?"

Xander sighed.  "You had to appeal to the remaining white knight side?"  Jigen smirked. "Yeah, yuck it up.  Think about it, I'll have to find clothes still and who's going to be sent with me?"

Jigen groaned.  Fujiko would demand that right.  She could him create an image better than Dawn could.  "I'm sorry."

"For all of us," Xander told him.  "I'm not wearing one of her frontless shirts."

"So don't.  Wear something less trashy," Jigen agreed.  "Try it for a day, Xander.  Then we can hurt David."  Xander groaned and wandered out, looking very upset with the world. "Sorry, kid, but it is for the best."  He went back to practicing his targets.  That had hurt him.  The boy looked like he had been betrayed.

***

Xander glared across the dinner table, making Dawn and David both wince and look away.  "I hate you both," he announced. Lupin gave him a look, they had talked for a long time earlier.  "But calmer heads have made me see that we need to keep you around for now.  You're going to have to go a *long* way to get back into my good graces and trust.  Most people don't travel that far without dying from exhaustion."  He took a deep breath so he would stay calm.

"We agreed, Xander would learn this and I'd keep him from killing you two," Lupin told them.  "Though I do agree, you both need punished.  I should let him have you both for an hour to see how well he can use his present body in a fight.  Goemon is the one you have to thank for not allowing that."  He looked at Xander.  "So, for now, David will change you into a form that is more suited to your frame.  It'll probably be the one you'll want to use most often."

"Hopefully I'll have smaller breasts?"

"Hopefully," Lupin agreed.  Xander's had grown again earlier for some reason.  "Though, it is handy sometimes to have larger set.  Fujiko gets out of all sorts of problems with hers."

"She used to," Goemon corrected blandly.  "In the morning we will be working to improve your balance and sense of your new body.  Once you have one form down the others are mostly the same.  There will be some adaptation but not too much I should think."  Xander nodded, looking down at his plate.  "That means that you will be mine in the mornings and Jigen's in the afternoon until Lupin gets you after dinner."  Xander nodded again.  "As for the rest of you, Dawn and David, you now have extra lessons and you will help Xander in whatever he does.  Whatever he needs will come from you."

"First he'll need some clothes," Fujiko noted.  "No matter what form, he'll need a bra; otherwise he'll have more chest pain from their weight."

"Is that like the pain I felt earlier when I tried to chase David?" Xander asked.  She nodded, giving him a faint smile.  "Fine, but I'm not dressing like a whore.  I don't care how good my legs are, I'm not putting on a skirt until I'm damn good and ready and it's not going to be like your blue one."  She nodded and shrugged.  Jigen gave him a look. "It's so short you can see her panties.  I consider that an act of desperation, thank you."

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  "We'll go gun shopping tomorrow too."  Xander nodded, looking happier.  "Your present weapon needs a new firing pin so we'll get you something more durable.  Maybe a little more lightweight. It'll help in both forms."  Xander shrugged.  "Was there anything else you needed to find?"

"Can I look at the artillery?"

"Sure," Jigen said, giving him a small smirk.  The boy would be milking that new pout for all it was worth, he was learning already.  "Then we'll make sure you have tasteful clothes."  He looked at Fujiko, who was giving him a stern look.  "Won't work."

"Whatever she chooses should be more for function than form," Lupin soothed.  "Workout clothes.  We'll have to shop for the other stuff later unless he's able to fit into some of Dawn's things."  Xander shook his head.  "No?" he asked with a small smile.

"I think leather all the time would be hot.  I don't even want to think about the heat stroke I'd get if we had to go back to the desert."

"Fortunately I've got other clothes," Dawn told him.  "Fuji and I have been working on the disguise closet since we all got here.  It's got some stuff in different sizes to allow for some padding.  Something in there might fit you very well."  She coughed.  "First, you'll want to sit up a little straighter, Xander.  That position's going to make your shoulders ache."

He rolled his shoulders back and sat up straighter.  "Thank you."  He continue to nibble at dinner.  "What am I doing tonight?"

"Learning how to braid hair," Lupin told him.  "It'll help while you're working.  Before you didn't have to do much physical training, you'll need more of that now."  Xander looked at him.  "It'll be easier to brush out afterward.  No knots."

"I can already ponytail it and braid it," Xander offered.

"Yes, but there are many subtle arts to hairstyling," Fujiko told him.  "Will dye stick to that mess if necessary?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Then we'll work on teaching you how to tease, mouse, and style for now.  Curlers would probably go better with your length instead of an iron."

"My hair won't hold curls.  I know this because of the girls nights we three used to have in Sunnydale.  Buffy would get bored and do all our hair."  He smirked at her.  "My hair's so straight that even bobbypins might not stay in at this length.  I know some wouldn't when it was shorter.  I've even had a few larger barrettes fall out when Buffy was getting cute."

"Okay, there are alternatives.  Hairpins for one.  Sticks.  We can teach you a quick way of putting it up.  Most every woman with long hair can wind her own hair up and stick it in a bun-like way with a pencil."  He shrugged and nodded, eating more.  "Did you need him for anything, Lupin?"

"I wanted to talk to him for a while longer," Lupin told him.  "There are some basic social graces that are a bit different."

"Yeah, like the fact that we're not supposed to be able to see your thighs," David said dryly.  Xander glared at him.  "Sorry."  He went back to his staring at his plate.

Xander took a calming breath, earning an approving look from the older generation.  "I know I have to cross my legs, but I'm wearing pants and they're under the table.  It's not an issue at this moment."  He ate another bite, glancing at Jigen, who nodded that he was doing fine.  This was really hard; all he wanted to do was reach over and slap them senseless.   "Do we have any firm word on Zenigata?"

"We do," Lupin admitted, happier.  "I had a hacker I know break into the ICPO's therapy files.  He's showed up for counseling over his obsession.  He's confused but feeling much better now that he's returned to his original desire to arrest us."  The older generation clapped.  "He did note that the 'woman' who he was being held with had messed with his mind and made him see that he was obsessed and about to go too far.  Apparently he's having trouble sleeping again."

Jigen smirked.  "Another chase after him while he takes his little pills?"

"Hopefully not," Lupin said with a smile for him.  "Though that was fun."  Goemon shook his head.  "Any other news?"

"We are having a doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"I'll want official confirmation," Lupin told him.  "That way we can horde her medical records and move them with us.  Xander, would you do me one big favor?"  Xander nodded.  "I want you in a medic alert bracelet.  Your food allergy could spark others."  Xander nodded.  "Thank you.  I don't want to think about the problems of you being mistreated in a hospital after a job gone wrong."

"Sure.  Can I pick one up when we go shopping?"  Lupin nodded.  "Thanks.  Am I paying for my new clothes?"

Lupin smirked.  "If you let me pick out one thing for your formal unveiling when you graduate, I will."

Xander raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.  "As long as it's more tasteful than her blue skirt."

"It's too tight now," Fujiko said bitterly.

"You'll lose the weight again," Dawn reminded her. "Give it ten months."  Fujiko looked at her.  "What?"  The other woman looked stunned, then glared at her husband.  "No one told her?"

"No one told her," Lupin admitted.  He, Jigen, Xander, and Goemon all scurried away before she could stand up.

Xander took his plate with him but he locked himself in the range to practice.  He needed it.  He found his usual practice piece and loaded it, taking bites between clips.  He had to figure this out.  He couldn't do it two-handed without causing himself pain and the recoil was hurting his arms more.  This was his life, he had to relearn this skill.  Someone knocked when he paused to eat another bite and reload so he walked over and let in his mentor.  "Hey, I'm trying to figure out what's wrong now."

"Let David change you first.  That could help a lot of things," Jigen ordered.  "Then I'll work with you."  Xander sighed and nodded, heading up to do that.  Jigen smirked at the boy's back.  It showed promise that this was where he headed.  When he came back, Xander was a shapely woman with a medium endowment and more bouncy hair.  Her shoulders were a little thinner and her legs were definitely showing the muscles better.  Those shorts were cute on her and so was the t-shirt that had become a belly shirt.  "Come on, let's try this again."  He closed and locked the door so Xander wouldn't have to struggle and be watched.  He knew Lupin had a camera but knew he wasn't using it.  Yet.  He moved behind the young woman, adjusting her stance.  "That's easier for most women."  Xander nodded so he stepped back, watching critically as Xander fired off a quick clip.

"That feels wrong," Xander told him.

"You could do it one-handed but sometimes you've got to use two," Jigen reminded him.

"Yeah, but I feel like I can't breathe," Xander explained.  He adjusted his stance higher, putting his elbows above the apex of his breasts, and that made it easier.  He had to adjust the way he sighted down the barrel and his compensation, but he could do that.  He tried going lower, and doing it underneath worked as well.  "That's still odd," he noted, putting down the gun so he could finish his dinner.  "Is that ever going to feel natural?"

"After a few more days, it should," Jigen promised, patting him on the back.  "From what I've seen when I've watched women shooting, it also depends on their style of bra.  How much give they've got and where the stupid things rest."

"Having four pounds of extra flesh is really throwing off my balance.  I nearly ran into a doorway."

"You'll be working on that in the morning," Jigen reminded him.  "We've got a balance beam set up somewhere for David and Dawn, I'm sure you'll be on it a few times too."  He loaded a lighter weapon, Lupin's practice gun.  "Try that.  See if it helps."

Xander put back on his ear protectors then put down his fork, firing off a clip at the pulped target.  "It's easier," he admitted when he was done.  He took off his ear guards.  "It's not hurting my shoulders and making me bounce.  That's going to slow me between shots."

"Yeah, probably.  We'll look for something with an automatic option," Jigen promised, giving him a small smirk.  "There's plenty of lightweight weapons on the market these days."

"Could we look at the plastic ones?  That way I don't have to give up mine when we're going commercial?"

"Sure.  Or we could have Dawn ask for badges," he said smartly.

Xander chuckled.  "I like that idea.  We could get into a lot of trouble like that."  He nudged him.  "Should we ditch the kids for a while and go out on our own again?"

"Next year," he decided.  "Learn all you can from everyone else then we'll do a few months alone before you go to the kids and I go back to Lupin."  Xander grinned and nodded, picking up his fork to scrape his plate.  "Go get seconds from the kitchen."  Xander beamed and headed out, checking the halls before he padded off.  Jigen shook his head.  That boy was funny sometimes, but he was still so alive.  He reminded him of him, only at a younger age.

***

Lupin pulled Xander into his study the next afternoon, sitting him in the chair.  "I'm going to be teaching you the basic social graces.  The basics that you need to be able to pass."  Xander nodded, crossing his feet at the ankle.  "Try pushing your knees together."  Xander looked down and did that.  "I know, it feels unnatural.  With time and practice it'll feel better."  He sat down, pouring the boy some soda.  "How was the range?"

"Better with the lighter gun," Xander admitted.  "Jigen thinks I can still use a heavier one but I'll need to work my way back up, that my wrists are weaker again.  I've been practicing with your gun down there for now.  Jigen said you wouldn't mind."

"I don't," Lupin agreed.  "You need to learn how to aim again.  Having breasts has got to throw that off.  I can't even imagine suddenly growing a chest."

"You'd have to gain a lot of weight to get man-tits," Xander reminded him.

Lupin laughed.  "True.  Hopefully I'll never do that.  That's the second thing.  Most women don't swear like you do."  Xander grimaced.  "It's hard, but seeming more cultured and refined than you are will help in more situations than being Dawn."

"I hadn't thought of that," Xander admitted, shifting to his other hip.  This new, rounder butt was hard to sit on for some reason.  "When were we going to go shopping?  There's no bigger t-shirt in my closet and David was staring at my chest earlier."

Lupin looked at them himself.  Then he looked at the young man's face.  "They're worthy of being stared at, but it's more that you've got peaked nipples and that t-shirt clings.  I'll make sure we take you tonight.  Tomorrow I want you to try and wear real girl clothes."  Xander nodded.  "Good boy.  Now go shower.  You smell like you've got gunpowder all over you."

"I probably do.  We went through a box.  I'm aiming high for some reason and off to the left."  He shrugged as he stood up.  "Which exiting is appropriate?  Shaking hands?  Kiss on the cheek?  Punch on the arm?"

Lupin smirked.  "That depends on how friendly you are with the person you're sitting with."  Xander shrugged and kissed him on the lips then left.  "Yes, you'll learn," he said quietly, picking up his water to sip.  The boy had promise.  He always had.  That's why he was pushing this.  He reached behind him and hit the phone, pressing the intercom.  "Jigen?"  He let it go.  Jigen came in.  "Do we need more bullets?"

"We do," he agreed, sitting down and sprawling out.  "The kid'll miss this position."

"If he's wearing pants I don't see the problem with it," Lupin told him.  "But don't tell Fuji I said that.  She's still really pissed."  The front door slammed.  "That's Dawn I think.  Did you want to go with him to help him shop?"  Jigen nodded.  "I thought one of us should to keep her from vamping him out.  Let him decide, he's got some taste."

"His original wardrobe consisted of loose jeans, t-shirts, and hawaiian shirts," Jigen told him.  "Plus ratty sneakers.  I'm the reason he has some good taste."

"Then help him more," Lupin told him.  "I think he'll go for the silk look."

"For some reason he turns into an asshole when he wears silk.  I don't know why," Jigen said as he stood up.  "Card?"  Lupin pulled out his wallet and checked for a clear card, tossing one over.  "Pops?"

"Is in town but I doubt he'll be shopping for women's clothes.  Let him have some chocolate too."  Jigen nodded, leaving him alone to think.  This could add a whole new layer to their plans.  There were things they hadn't been able to touch because they only had Fujiko, but now they could do so much more.  Dawn was too tough for some things and Fujiko too sharp, but Xander had that softness that would work better in more situations.  It was an interesting idea if he could get the kid to go along with it.

***

Xander looked at the outfit his mentor was pushing on him, then at her.  "No."  She frowned.  "No!  No, no short skirt, nothing like it.  I'm not wearing it."

Jigen sighed. "If you don't let her get one, then she'll complain for weeks, kid."

"Yay," Xander whined.  "I'm not for sale.  It makes me look worse than most of the pros I've ever used."  Jigen snorted and shook his head.

Fujiko grabbed the boy by the ear.  "It does not and keep your voice down."

"Yes, ma'am," he said miserably.  "Can't we get something more tasteful?  Something softer, smoother?  Maybe something like my favorite suit?  I can do suits."

"Fine," Fujiko agreed, leading him to the rack of slip dresses.  "How about something like this?" she asked as she pulled out a strapless jersey sheath dress.  "It's not in the right color but would that work?"

"It could," Xander admitted, touching it.  He took it to try on, looking at himself before exiting.  He wiggled as he smoothed down the soft fabric.  "I like.  I like knit more but I could do this."

Fujiko smiled. "Finally!"  She went to look for him.  She found things in the softer fabrics, bringing them back.  "Find something among them and wear out the ones you like best."  Xander nodded, heading into the dressing room to do that.  She looked at Jigen.  "When you dressed him did you have that problem?"

"The boy had a problem with ties," Jigen admitted.  "Hated them for months.  He got the point that clothing is armor."  He looked over as Xander came out in a black knit stretch dress, nodding.  It was short but not prostitute-short.  It clung to him and made his figure look outstanding.  He could easily vamp in that but it would be a more subtle one.  "I like that," he admitted.  "With that little bit of tan you managed you look good in it."

Xander looked in the mirror, examining himself.  "You don't think it's too short?"

"Sometimes short is necessary," Fujiko reminded him.  "Dawn can't and I won't be able to for months."  She grimaced.  "Let's try on another outfit.  Put that in the definite pile with the purple outfit from earlier."  Xander looked at her.  "My choice," she said smugly.  Xander sighed and went back into the dressing room, doing as she had ordered.  She looked at Jigen.

"If he wears it around the house, I'll have to tell your husband to beat you."

"Yeah, like he's going to do that now," she pointed out bitterly.

He smirked.  "Don't worry, we won't make fun of you when you're fat and in pain."  Fujiko glared at him, reaching over to hit him.  "Bitch."

"Keep it up.  Lupin said I had to tolerate you, he didn't say anything about using you for knife practice."

He laughed but did move away.  Pregnant women were notorious for mood swings.  Xander came out a few minutes later in a better outfit.  He nodded, he liked that one better.  The sweater combination over the plain skirt looked good on him.  "Very upstanding," he noted.

"True," Fujiko agreed.  "You could pass for respectable in that."  Xander beamed.  "We've still got to do shoes, but I think we can work on heels later next week.  Try another one, put that one in the 'yes' pile."  He nodded, going back in there.  He came back a few minutes later and handed over five outfits.  "They're very similar."

"Mix and match," Xander reminded her.

"Good point.  Let's hit somewhere to get workout clothes.  Danskin next."

"Bra next?" Xander suggested.  "Panties?"

"Yeah, that's on the way," she agreed, letting him carry the stuff up but paying for it.  As soon as they were done there, she drug him to Ann Summers.  The lingerie shopping was her favorite part.  She needed something to make Goemon sorry for not telling her she was pregnant.

The boy survived it, but lit up once they went weapons shopping.   That was his favorite part of the whole trip.  Not only did he get a new gun, he got to look at some new toys for his future wish list.  "Grenade launcher," he said happily, stroking over the tube.

Jigen looked at him. "They are handy, but I prefer claymores."  Xander grinned at him and Fujiko saw something pass between them.  She'd have to do something with that later.

***

Xander walked out to the practice area the next morning, still yawning.  This top had a built-in bra so he didn't have to deal with the stupid things yet.  He still wasn't sure how to put them on himself.  This and the dance pants were much easier for him to deal with.  He bowed to Goemon, who was giving him a look.  "You said I had form faults," he said with a shrug.

"You use very jerky movements, nothing further.  That is acceptable however.  I've seen worse on my own wife."

Xander grinned.  "Of course you have.  I jerk?"  The samurai nodded.  "Is that because not all of us were born in the land of calm people?"

"Partially," he admitted.  "It is also a testament to the status of your training.  The more you train the smoother you get."  He faced off with the young man.  "Start with your warmups."  Xander nodded, stretching for him.  The boy took orders very well, it was much better than most of his students.  Only Marcus showed a flair for the training but Xander was willing to learn new things that would increase his skills.  Already his fighting was showing improvement.  He had expected less from the young man when they had first met and hadn't done much to improve his form to date.  Most people who fought with weapons were afraid to hurt their arms or hands.  "Xander, what was your first weapon?" he asked.

"A stake.  Well, okay, I did have a few times when I threw rocks at some bullies picking on Willow, but mostly it was a stake first.  Why?"

"Most mechanical weapon fighters do not like to risk their hands, that was why I asked.  It makes sense.  It is like a knife fighter.  I shall move your fighting lessons that way."  Xander grinned at him and he smirked.  "That pleases you?"

"Since I hit worse than most of the girls in the world?  Yeah."

"Strength training will help that some, but your arms are not really made for throwing punches.  Your shoulders don't like to put the full force behind your arms."  He walked around the boy, watching him.  "Stretch up to do your back," he ordered.  The boy switched, doing so.  His back was too tense.  He'd hurt it soon if he didn't learn to relax.  "What other exercises do you do?"

"I used to swim.  Now I run more than anything," Xander told him.  "Why?"

"You are a good swimmer?"

"A very good one.  I made my school team to help solve a problem."  He looked back.  "Why?"

"You hold your back strangely.  Like someone who rides horses."  Xander grinned at him.  "I suppose it is similar," he admitted dryly, knowing what the boy was thinking.  "You've told me you watched Miss Summer's sister train.  Did you help her?"

"Some.  She didn't have a dedicated training area until she was in college.  Until then it was pads and protection.  We practiced in empty classrooms or the library mostly."  Goemon nodded.  "Why?"

"Wondering."  He knew people who would have killed to have gotten this boy to train when he was younger. "You prefer fighting in closed spaces?"

"I prefer to not fight physically since I suck at it, but I prefer not being surrounded and having someone at my back," he admitted.  "I also prefer to fight in the open instead of a room or a building.  I don't like corners that much."  The samurai nodded.  "Why?"

"I'm trying to figure out which style to move you toward.  A few of them suit not only this body but your usual one.  Most of them are for close combat.  Not running battles like you've done in the past."

"Yeah, but I'm good at them," Xander said, turning to face him.  "I'd rather have a running, hitting, and then hiding battle."

"Ambushing is honorable in the right circumstances.  There is one that will suit you.  I am not an expert at it but I can get you started.  With what I know, we can make it fit you best."  Xander nodded.  "Are you relaxed?"

"No.  You make me fucking nervous," Xander told him.

Goemon nodded. "I know.  All good teachers do that.  Relax.  I will not harm you.  Even if you should manage to hit me."  He lunged forward, attacking suddenly. Like he thought, the boy backed off and took a side-swing at him instead of going head-on.  "Yes, that will suit you very well."  He smiled slightly.  "Get in the circle and we'll work on the basic forms."  Xander shifted back into place, giving him a wary air.  "I was testing you."

"You're still a scary man."

"Thank you."  He showed him the basic block with a hand.  "Now follow me."  Xander did it with him, moving up to him doing it against him.  "Good.  You do learn fast."

"I learn everything except book stuff really fast," Xander said with a small shrug.

"Excellent.  It will make the most use of your time with me.  Unlike David."

Xander looked at him and grinned.  "His dad's the scary bastard.  Gunn is a master of long distance put-downs."

"Ah.  Perhaps a more street style for him then.  Let us move to the next block."

***

Lupin signed for the package and tipped the delivery driver.  The boy had done all right for himself last night but these were things that he wanted to see the boy in.  Fortunately he was mostly a standard size.  He walked them up to his room, hiding them in his closet.  Then he laid down to read until someone came looking for him.  It was nearly an hour before someone knocked on his door.  "What?"

Dawn came in.  "Fujiko's feeling nasty.  She just said morning sickness started."  Lupin smirked at her.  "Should we do anything to help her?"

"Sprite and crackers seems to be what people recommend," he noted.  He looked at her. "Will you be able to take over her spot?"

"Sure.  I'm not quite as busty but I can be quite the distraction or lure."

"Good.   How is Xander doing?"

"Jigen released him from range practice until tonight because Goemon was doing really good with him."  She walked in and shut the door, coming to sit beside him.  "I think he's finally figured out what Xander's doing wrong when he fights."

"He likes to attack from the side. He's an ambusher."  She looked stunned and he smiled. "It was natural with his training.  Jigen tends to fight like that unless he has to take something head-on.  It's easier and safer when you don't physically fight that well."

"I'm sorry I did that to him but it seems to have helped him so much," she said.

"It probably did, but it still sucked.  You're supposed to be his friend, Dawn.  You're like his little sister.  Instead you acted like your sister and treated him like he's incompetent to make his own decisions.  I'm surprised he hasn't tried to kill you yet.  He's still very angry over it and it will take a very long time to earn back his trust."

Dawn shook her head, brushing her ponytail back.  "I'll never get it back, Lupin.  Xander gives one shot and that's it.  That's what sucks most.  I went with what I thought was best for the group and it got me bitten on the ass.  I know better now but even if I told him that he'd never trust me not to do it again."  She stood up.  "Thanks for listening to me."

"It's what mentors do, Dawn.  Remember this lesson.  Your crew is your family.  You treated him like some cousin who should be locked in the closet and ignored."  Dawn nodded, trudging out.  "That should have brought down some of the cocky attitude," Lupin muttered as he went back to his book.  He was interrupted again quickly but it was Xander. "Come in."  Xander came in and sat on the bed with him.  "How was practice?"

"Good.  Goemon finally figured out what I'm good at."  He grinned.  "I don't care if she's sorry, I'm going to be mad for a very long time."

"Personally, I don't think I could ever forgive her if it was me," Lupin admitted, giving him a pat to the arm.  "Why don't you go shower?  We'll have tea."

"Eww."

Lupin smirked at him.  "Civilized people have tea."

"Really?  I hear the British are slowly fazing that out."  He grinned impishly.  "So, what was in the packages?"

"Your graduation outfit."  He gave him another pat.  "Go shower."

"Yes, sir."  Xander stood up.  "I've got a technical question."  Lupin put down his book.  "Has this changed me enough for me to have...problems of the female sort?"

"God, I hope not," Lupin told him dryly.  Xander cackled and shook his head, walking away.  "If you do, warn me so I can hide," he yelled after him.  "That is a scary thought," he told himself, shuddering as he tried to get back into his book.  There was no use for it.  He pulled over his laptop, hacking back into Dawn's email to find something to do that would take over his mind and erase that image.   He remembered he had promised Xander a big box of chocolate and ordered some while he was reading the case file.  It would be there in two days and he did deserve it.  Even if he did destroy part of the house with his excess energy.

***

Lupin walked around Xander.  It had been a week and a half and the boy was doing very well with his lessons.  He was acting female for minutes at a time without slipping up but it wasn't natural yet.  "Legs," he said softly.  Xander shifted, crossing his legs.  "Thank you."  He sat down across from him.  "You've got the basics, but you need to make them part of you."  He served him some tea, pushing over the honey without being asked.  The boy's sweet tooth had only gotten worse since this had started.  At least he would drink tea with it in there but it was still enough honey to make his teeth ache in sympathy.  "Xander," he reminded.  Xander put his knees together again, grimacing.  "I know, it's hard."

"It's unnatural," Xander told him. "My body aches when I cross my legs that way.  That's why I relax and it ends."

"So put one leg behind the other and lock your knees together," Lupin suggested.  "You'd have to sit a little sideways."

"I have to anyway, this extra padding is throwing me off."  He shifted into the suggested position, liking it a bit more.  "This is more comfortable.  I won't always have to wear a dress, right?"

"No, there will be times when pants will suit you better.  Of course, there are times when you won't have a choice."  He sipped his own tea, watching the boy as he drank.  "How are you handling the heels?"

"I suck at it," he said flatly.  "Even the balance beam hasn't helped.  I can't get the hang of tiny little points.  Even the thicker tiny little points are making my ankles and back ache.  How do real women do this?"

"With a lot more practice," Lupin admitted.  "Ready for the next level?"  Xander shrugged, taking another sip.  "Let's call in Jigen to watch you too.  From now on, we'll both be correcting the little things."

"I hate being picked at."

"Well, you're better than about sixty percent of the women in the world, but the really classy ones have all this stuff down."

"Yeah, but I've only been like this now for a few weeks total."

"Which is why you're still flubbing things," Lupin agreed.  "Trust me, after a few years, you'd have the grace of Sophia Loren.  I'd never do that to you," he said when Xander looked stunned.

"That wasn't the point.  You think I could do that?"

Lupin smiled as he put down his tea cup.  "I do.  You've got a bit of grace.  Even though you do watch your feet when you walk.  On you it looks like you're shy instead of being insecure.  Being a grande dame like the old screen idols would suit you.  You do have that same sultry nature and the slinky undertones that would make it possible.  Besides, you'll never be the sex symbol that Fujiko is.  You're not a Playboy model.  I'd rather see you being a realistic socialite."

"The Hiltons?" Xander asked with a grin.

"No, I'd rather have you wear decent clothes and not pull publicity stunts like falling down without underwear on."  He gave the boy a small smile.  "You're doing excellent so far.  Short of bringing in someone from a finishing school, you're doing better than I expected."  He reached back and tapped the intercom button.  "Hey, Jigen, want some tea?"

"Sure, Lupin."  He came in a few minutes later, nodding at Xander.  "Tea?"

"Tea.  Xander's gotten to the point where he needs more fine tuning than anything.  I think it's time we all worked on that."

"Okay.  Try to sit up a little straighter, kid."  Xander sighed and sat up a little more then winced.  "Sore from your workout?"

"Yeah, I spent most of it flying very hard at the ground."  Xander reached back and rubbed the sore spot on his back.   He leaned forward and put down his cup, then got comfortable again.  He remembered to push his knees together before he could be told to again.  "There, how's that?"

"Better than I expected," Jigen admitted.  "Smooth but not totally right."  He shrugged as he accepted his cup of tea.  "Only a real woman or a woman-watcher would notice."  He took a sip then put his cup down.  "First thing, you don't look comfortable."

"I can't keep my legs crossed the other way.  My legs start to cramp," Xander told him, shifting back to his first position.  He groaned and closed his eyes then did it anyway.  "I think I'll be taking a long hot bath after this."

"Fine.  We'll make sure you make it to dinner," Lupin agreed.  He looked over Xander's body, then at Jigen.  "Something's not right."

"I know what it is.  Cross your legs at the knee, not the ankle.  It's more modern but it might be more comfortable."  Xander did so and winced again.  "No?"

"No, I'm bunching up."  He shifted and then shook his head, standing up to smooth down the skirt again.  "Sorry, but it's not going to happen I think."  He sat down again, curling up in the chair with his legs twined together next to him.  "That's more comfortable."

"That's why I had him in the other position," Lupin admitted.  "Try crossing them in the other direction.  Left over right."  Xander shifted again and did that, then had to move so his lower half would quit pressing together uncomfortably.  "Maybe pantyhose would help that?"

"I don't think the things that are bunching up would be helped by that," Xander told him dryly.  "It's not my thighs, it's what's between them."  He went back to crossing his legs at the ankle and canting his weight off to the side slightly.  "That's better."  He watched as his knees drifted.  "I'm going to have to tie them together, aren't I?"

Jigen nodded.  "It might help.  I hear they do that in the top finishing schools."

Lupin shook his head.  "No, it's not a problem.  Tomorrow, come down in that outfit Fujiko bought you.  The purple one."  Xander raised an eyebrow.  "So I peeked," he said with a grin.  "Sue me."

"I don't think you'd like that," Xander teased, smirking at him.  "Why should I put on the ho skirt?"

"Because I want you to wear it without anything under it and come to tea."  Xander raised an eyebrow.  "You'll feel self-conscious and have more desire to keep your legs crossed."

"Me?" Xander reminded him.  "Aren't you confusing me with the eternally celibate Marcus?"

"He's got a point," Jigen agreed, smirking at his boss.  "We'd have a few Fatal Attraction moments."  Xander shivered.  "Cold?"

"Odd thought," he admitted, picking up his cup to sip at the warm tea.  He hoped he wasn't blushing.  He wasn't prone to it anymore but still.  That had been an intense mental image.

Lupin shook his head.  "I had forgotten that you weren't exactly against sex."

"Yeah, and I'm really thankful that I'm not feeling my usual neediness."

Lupin nodded.  "Me too."  He sighed and got comfortable.  "We'll figure it out, Xander."

"Maybe I should go for longer skirts," Xander suggested.  "Most of what I liked was knee- length or longer.  If you want me to look like I have some class, that would be easier than the little power suits that she put me into.  I don't see how any woman can stand to be in a skirt all day long that rides up that far when you sit."  Jigen looked at him.  "It often hits above my panty line," he shared.  "Especially that pale grey one."

"Yeah, but you look good in it," Lupin reminded him.

"I know, which is what sucks the most," Xander agreed.  He forced his knees back together again.  "Sorry."  He sipped his tea, hiding his embarrassment.

"We'll figure it out.  It's only been a week and a half.  Let's work on the balance problems next," Lupin decided.  He looked at Jigen.  "Have you noticed too many problems in that area?"

"He looks at his feet when he walks.  He looks like some shy school girl."

"I am a shy school girl," Xander quipped, grinning at him.  "Just ask anyone.  Fujiko put me in an anime schoolgirl outfit."

Lupin laughed.  "She did," he agreed, nodding.  That one skirt was that short.  He looked at Jigen, who was looking uncomfortable.  "What else do you think he should know?"

"I think we should find someone to give him an intense course of education in social graces," Jigen offered.  "He'll have to learn how to dance too.  All the kids could use it.  We've found how many jobs at functions?" he reminded Lupin when he looked confused.

"True," he agreed.  "I think Marcus has those lessons already.  That is an idea though.  I doubt Dawn could go into something like that and not stand out."

"Good point," Xander agreed.  "I can see her in an evening gown but I can't see her not swearing any more than I can me not swearing totally."  He shifted again, curling up in the chair.  "I'd almost rather that we not have to test that one yet.  I'm not that rhythmic.  My usual version of dancing is flailing to the bass beat."

"Hmm."  Lupin looked at Jigen.  "You do that better."

"I do, but I don't think I could teach it."

"True, but you could help them."

"Fine," Jigen agreed.  For some reason he was dreading this idea.  "When?"

"How is he on the range?"

"Perfect again.  Once he learned how to compensate he refound his balance and is hitting exactly again."  He stood up.  "Come here, Xander."  Xander uncurled and stood up, facing him.  "Stand up straight."

"I am."

"You're not, you're slouching," Jigen told him.

"No, I'm just short," Xander reminded him.

"You're the same height I am.  I can't stand it when tall women slouch."  He pushed the boy's back into a straighter line, earning another wince.  "Let's leave this off until we've fixed that," he decided, helping him into the chair.

"I've always slouched a little.  My back hurts when I stand perfectly straight."

"It usually makes him look very comfortable with himself instead of slouchy," Lupin offered. "Let's break for today so he can take something for his back.  Same time tomorrow, batman."  Xander grinned as he stood up, wincing a little more.  "Take a hot bath, it'll help that."  Xander nodded, leaving them alone.  "So?"

"Mostly I think he'll pass for quick things, but he needs more practice with real women.  Ones who don't know," Jigen told him.  "Only real women can teach him how to act like them."

"True.  Murami?"  Jigen nodded.  "Do you think it's strange he can act high society as a woman and can't pass at all as a guy?"

"Very, but Xander is a little odd.  I put that down to his suburban American upbringing."  He suddenly let out a chuckle.  "Do you know what he said when I asked him how he had learned how to shoot?  He said the great American training ground."

"Street gang?  Him?"

"Nintendo," Jigen told him.

Lupin laughed.  "I guess that is true to a degree.  Between that and his slaying I'm sure he had the best training he could."

"Yeah.  It seems to work.  Maybe we should join the anti-violence people so more kids don't decide that being a shooter is an okay profession?  It'll glut the field."

Lupin laughed.  "Professional pride would fall if the field glutted, but I'm not sure I can help the restrictive minds that are working on that.  Ratings should be enough.  Not everyone gets real world reinforcement of their violent streaks."

"And most of the ones who do seem to join a street gang," Jigen agreed, picking up his tea and adding a shot of brandy.  Dawn had been his all morning.  He deserved it. "She's hopeless."

"I know, but she'll have to learn how to kill a person sometime," Lupin reminded him.  "It has to happen sometimes."

"True.  That's the harshest teacher.  She'll break afterwards."

"Did Xander?"

"Xander staked people.  He saw them die over and over before he had to see real blood.  Dawn didn't patrol that often and her sister was overprotective."

"Interesting."

***

Lupin looked up as everyone gathered for dinner.  "Where's Xander?"

"Up to his chin napping in his tub," Dawn told him.  "I tried to wake him up but he wouldn't."  She took her usual seat.  "He'll get up soon."

"What did he take for his back?" Goemon asked.  "I know he asked Fujiko for something."

"He asked me for something for back pain.  I gave him half of a loritab."  Lupin groaned and stood up.  "He should be able to stand that."

"He doesn't take drugs, Fujiko.  Never," Jigen told her.  He stood up.  "Let me."  He headed up the stairs, going to let the water out before the boy drowned in his sleep.   He found Xander blowing bubbles into the water as he snored.  He gave him a little nudge but didn't get a response so he let out the water, getting a sleepy glare. "Get up."

"No."  Xander flipped onto his side, using his toes to turn back on the water.  Jigen turned it back off and hauled him up. He slapped at the mean person.  "No!  Wanna sleep!"

"Then do it in the bed, Xander.  I don't want you to drown."  He roughly toweled the thin body then stuck him into his bed, leaving him there.  He walked slowly down to the dining room.  "He's in bed now.  I dried him off first but he's out of it.  He slapped at me."

"How can you grow up in America and not try drugs?" Fujiko asked.

"Easy.  We're not exactly on the drug highway," Dawn told her.  "Sunnydale had that fifties innocence and purposeful ignorance going on.  If Xander took anything he took it on his roadtrip after graduation."

"He said he's tried a line of coke and it took him a week to sleep again," Lupin agreed.  "I doubt he's ever taken anything that strong before."  He looked up the stairs.  "I'll have some saved for him or he can make himself a sandwich if he wakes up later."  He dished out the food and handed things off.  "Was he fine?"

"He was blowing bubbles but nothing else.  He tried to swat me.  A very girly swat."

"He does that," Marcus noted.  He crossed his hands in front of his plate.  "Lupin, I'd like to aid Xander in his social training.  I was trained by some of the strictest matrons in Britain.  I think I can help some of his constant problems."

"I don't think he needs that sort of structure," Jigen told him.  "He needs enforcement and some minor things."

Marcus smiled.  "Actually, he needs to learn how to keep his knees together, how not to chew his gum like he's a cow chewing cud, how not to blow bubbles with said gum, how to move without looking at his feet, how to sit properly in a chair, how to sit still, how to make tea, how to fix his hair and makeup, and how to interact with strangers.  None of them are things that Xander has ever excelled at.  He has never been a still person, nor comfortable around strangers.  The tea thing I fear may be beyond him since he loathes the Drink of Gods and Kings, but he should at least know the basics."

"We could teach him the more standard Japanese ways," Fujiko offered.  "Tea making and all that would encourage stillness."

"Xander?" Jigen snorted.  "Still?"

"He is better but the young one will never be totally without wiggles," Goemon agreed.  "Teaching him that could help and would encourage the correct traits but I doubt he'll master a true tea ceremony."

Lupin shrugged.  "We'll see.  As pointed out earlier, it's only been about two weeks.  He's doing fantastic for that amount of time.  He can pass by about sixty percent of the women in the world."

"Yeah, but about forty of those are native women," Dawn pointed out.  "Not exactly the high society person that you are, Lupin."  Lupin looked at her.  "You were saying that he had it in him."

"Listening at the door?"

"No, the door was left open and I was heading up to my room," she defended.  She heard a crash and winced.  "I hope that wasn't wander boy."  She started to move but Marcus glared at her.  "What?  I'm perfectly capable of putting Xander back in bed."

"He's not wandering, that was outside," Lupin announced, getting up to check to security monitors.  He was smirking as he came back.  "There seems to be a young man here with flowers.  Dawn?"  She scoffed and shook her head.  "Fujiko?"

"Rich?"

"No."

"Then it's probably not about me.  Maybe he's here for Xander."  She stood up, heading out to talk to the young man.  "Who are you?" she asked, meeting him at the road.  He looked stunned.  "Answer now or be shot," she said sweetly.

"There is a young woman here, she is the most fine," he said quietly, clearly drunk and Australian.  "I wanted to court her," he said with a goofy grin.  "May I meet her and hand her these?"

"It depends on which one," she said, leading him up to the front entryway.  "Hey," she called.  "He's come courting."

Jigen came out.  "Of which woman?  You, Dawn, or Xan?"

"The one with the hair that shines in the moonlight," he said, then he giggled.  "The one who works out at night after all the lights are off.  She is stirring and bewitching.  It's her I want to meet."

"She's in bed with a backache," Jigen said, taking the flowers.  "I'll give them to her when she wakes up.  Come back tomorrow."  The young man nodded and unsteadily turned and lurched out the door, heading back through the woods.  Jigen shook his head, heading to put the flowers in water.  By the time he had lost his urge to laugh Fujiko had told everyone.  He came back from his errand and looked at the stunned man.  "What?  She is pretty enough to attract louts."

"True.  I was more shocked that Xander comes down and works out after we're asleep."

Dawn glanced at him.  "Neither of us get more than four or five hours a night anymore.  It's been trained into us from long practice and hours of slaying.  I usually read."  She gave a little shrug.  "I guess it's more fun than looking out the window all night."

"You don't think he reads?" Fujiko asked.

"Xander doesn't like to read," Dawn told her. "It's not a comfy exercise that he does for fun."

"He's slightly dyslexic," Jigen told her. "I wonder what he's practicing at night."  He looked at their boss.  "No tapes?"

"I haven't taped the grounds at night in months," Lupin admitted, looking bemused.  "Maybe I should start."

"You'll embarrass him," Marcus told him.  "If he wanted us to know, he'd have told us."

"It does explain why he can eat so much and not gain weight," Dawn offered.

"All young men eat a lot," Jigen told her.

"He's nearly thirty," Fujiko reminded him.  "That should have ended when he left his teens."

"I've heard stories about Xander at a ballgame where he closed out one hotdog seller.  I thought it was due to his hyperactivity and stuff," David offered.

"For the record, not all young men turn into bottomless spots of void. Some of us were fed a proper diet," Marcus put forth, "but I also thought Xander was simply burning it off with all the fidgeting he does every day.  He eats three times what I do but he also does at least twice as much physically."  He gave them a shy smile.  "I am rather bookish when I'm not learning what my body wants to do.  Like Dawn, I find myself more comfortable with sitting in a quiet room with a book all day.  If I could have stood what the Watchers stood for, I would have went there instead."

Lupin shrugged.  "Xander is who he is.  There's a balance, that's what's important in your group."

"Speaking of groups, when are we gonna get to go out and do stuff again?" David asked.

Goemon coughed.  "Do you feel you're ready to try a solo job?"  David and Dawn both nodded.  "As a team.  Not as a single thief.  Both of you are excellent at working alone, as is Xander.  To function togther, you must heal the rifts you've place between yourselves."

"Xander won't forgive us, ever," Dawn told him.  "He's not the sort to give second chances."  She slumped down, looking over at him.  "It's something we felt had to be done, not that we wanted to be done.  It can only help us in our future jobs."

"Then you're considering it wrong," Jigen said firmly.  "Do I have to repeat that your crew is your family?  You're supposed to watch out for them." Lupin put a hand on his arm.  "Sorry.  The boy was nearly destroyed."

"He was," Lupin agreed.  "He's better now and that's what's important."  He leaned forward.  "Dawn, David, to be truthful I don't think you four could work as a team.  I think you three could work as a team, possibly, but not with Xander yet.  To be brutally honest, he's got skills none of you have and until you can make up some of that deficiency you're not ready to go into the real world on your own."

"I did fine on my own," Dawn argued.

"On your own," Fujiko told her.  "Working as a team is different.  Trust me, I did that often enough.  Merging your skills as part of a group is like sharing your mind with them.  It's more intimate than sleeping with them and less intimate than being telepathic with them.  They've got to know what you're going to do at each step, and what you might do if something goes wrong.  They have to know every little prick in your mind that might change the plan mid-job and what you'd do if that happened.  They have to be able to second-guess you and your methods.  Can you do that with either of these two?"  Dawn's face fell.  "I thought not.  Yes, I managed to screw the group royally a few times, usually for a decent enough reason.  Usually my life," she admitted.  "I also know every move Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon might ever make.  Back when we first formed it took us months to find that rapport.  And I broke it time and again to leave and come back.  When I did, it was easier each time.  You'll find that Xander will be the one who leaves and comes back, but he'll do it for a more pure reason.  Until you can second guess David's path up a wall and through a maze, you're not ready to go out as a team.  You don't trust each other.  You don't consider them first and last.  You don't look at the minor strengths as well as the greater ones.  Personally, I'd put you about mid-range on the scale of thieves presently working.  That's just you.  I'd put David down at the apprentice level because he's never really had to steal in the field yet.  For being able to handle a situation gone wrong, I'd flunk you both and send you back to your mentors if you left right now."

"We can handle anything," Dawn said firmly.

Jigen laughed.  "Do you know how many times we've been shot at, Dawn?  How many grazes and close calls we've had because someone got a lucky shot while we were running?  I've got sixteen scars from grazes.  Lupin's got about six.  Fujiko's got less and Goemon can usually knock them out of the air with his sword.  That's not skill, that's dumb lack of luck.  That's also part of knowing them.  You have to know who to send first and last.  Who can cover the group and who can go first to break the path.  You've got one shooter and Marcus."  Her face fell.  "You're a decent enough shot on the range but you couldn't handle shooting a person yet.  Not even to save yourself.  You'd break down right then and there and endanger your team."

Marcus nodded. "Besides, I'm nowhere near ready to venture so far from Goemon yet.  Not for at least another ten months or so.  By then I should understand that little voice in my head.  Until then, I can't say what the spirit could make me do.  Nor can I say that I would trust the four of us not to kill each other in the field.  My skills are not set enough yet to venture out and harm others.  Yes, I can throw daggers.  That's wonderful but it's a finite weapon.  Xander can shoot anyone and everything, but again a finite weapon.  I cannot describe what it felt like to watch my dagger puncture that wizard's stomach.  Nor can I describe what it felt like later that night when I got sick for hours thinking about it."  Dawn shivered.  "We are not ready yet.  If you're that desperate for activity, why don't you go break into somewhere again?"  He ate a bite of meat.  "Am I correct in assuming that this will be our last year of full teaching?  That from now on, when we're together, it will be like on-the-job training?"  Lupin nodded.  "Thank you."  He looked at his mentor.  "Do you think I can learn enough in the ten months?"

"I think I can train your body to follow your instincts by then.  You are my main student and I will begin bringing you around to help with Xander.  You fight in different ways but you should know each other's methods."  Marcus nodded.  "As for the other two, they can both fight well enough to brawl but not battle."

Jigen shrugged.  "Dawn can shoot but she doesn't do well against the paper humans.  Marcus needs range time so he can at least become proficient."  Goemon nodded.  "Do you have a particular choice for him?"

"I'd say he'd do better with something automatic," Lupin offered.  "That way he doesn't have to concentrate.  If the sword is going to be his primary weapon then he needs to stick with it and only learn the basics in the others."  Jigen nodded, accepting that.  "Fujiko, what about the wires and things?  I haven't taught anyone about those."

"I taught Xander some," Jigen admitted.

"See, that's unfair.  Xander's so fucking far ahead of us, I'm not sure we can catch up," Dawn said.

Jigen looked at her.  "I had Xander in intense training for over a year and he came to me partially trained already, girl.  He killed someone within minutes to protect me and get me free.  Xander's been better trained because he's already had another six years of training, all the way since school."  Dawn nodded, putting her head back down.  "You have the skills but you're refusing to see the necessities.  As long as you're doing that, it's not going to help you much.  Suppression fire means that you'll still hit someone.  Do you think you're ready to deal with that?"

"I usually ignore the fact that I could have killed someone," Dawn said stiffly.  "Whether it's from a gas canister or my gun.  I don't want to look at dead bodies.  Isn't the whole point that we get in and get out without being seen?"

"It is, but things happen," Lupin reminded her gently.  "It isn't just about the job, it's the time before, the planning, the after, and the running.  With you at your present skill level you've already got cops chasing after you.  Not as bad as Pops, but still cops.  There are international warrants for your arrest.  Are you going to give up and wait to be saved each time you run into one or are you going to shoot back?"  Dawn shuddered, curling in on herself.  "As you told David and Marcus, this isn't a game, Dawn.  This is a hard life.  It's not nice.  You can't be a nice little girl who occasionally crawls through heating ducts and steals pretty things.  If you're going to be in the life, you're going to have to be totally in the life.  Xander's learning extra skills to make up for the group's deficiencies.  I'd trust him and Jigen to go out and work alone.  I'd trust Xander to go out on his own but I know he'd be miserable."

"You want to keep him," Dawn accused, glaring at him.

"It would help sometimes to have a third shooter," Lupin agreed, "but no.  I don't think he'd want to stay with us.  We're all older than he is.  We don't understand him the way you're supposed to.  We don't understand his background, some of his jokes, or his concerns."  He put his forearms on the table, leaning on them.  "If it comes down to it, I know people who would *love* to hire Xander.  People who would look at him like he was the holy grail.  Not because Jigen trained him.  Not because of his past.  Because he was so skilled and has such a wide range of knowledge.  His past and his training from Jigen would add more to his reputation.  Marcus will one day be the same way.  Thanks to his possession, he's already eons ahead of most people who've only been taking martial arts for a year and a bit.  Within the next few years I expect him to fully pass Goemon and become the most proficient he can be.  Goemon has a limit on his style, the demon warrior doesn't and knew more than one style."  Goemon nodded.  "You're a thief, and while you do that very well and you plan very well, that isn't all you can do and survive in the field.  You've got to be willing to protect yourself and your people.  You've got to be able to walk out of the field after shooting someone and make sure your team is still fine and away before you collapse in tears.  You've still got a lot to learn.  Even Xander has more to learn.  He's got limits he hasn't found yet."

Jigen nodded.  "Xander's never faced down an extraordinary large force without his weapons.  He's never faced down a battalion of people with only a few guns either.  I've had a few Alamo situations.  You don't know that limit until you're in that situation.  I hope he never does run into it.  There are few situations that make me want to pray, that is one of them.  We're giving you reality.  One or two successful jobs does not mean you can rest on your laurels.  Not unless you're picked up by an insurance company to test for them.  Besides, none of you can work a safe, electronic or the older dial ones.  None of you can handle mass traps.  None of you are proficient with the detection equipment.  It won't be Xander who needs to do that.  He's already got enough on his plate."

"I'd vote Dawn," Fujiko offered.  "David isn't always the most technical person."  David nodded, still looking like reality had just knocked him down and pissed on him.  "Each person in a team holds multiple positions.  Yes, I do lure and act as bait.  I also happen to be a thief of my own skill level.  I can do safes, electronic traps, and shoot.  I'm not as good as Lupin and it's gotten me into a lot of trouble in the past.  For that matter, being a female in the field is an invitation to get hurt to get back at your friends.  I've been hurt numerous times by people who wanted Lupin.  Both to lure him and not.  Right now you've got one who should not go out alone but he could.  You've worked alone and done little things.  David needs real world experience.  Marcus needs more training and to find other things he can do besides fight with a sword and research.  Let him handle the money matters.  Let him do some of the magic stuff."  She suddenly stopped and smiled.  "It's a maze year."

Lupin smirked back.  "I had forgotten about that."  He looked at the other two, who shrugged.  "Fine.  We'll go through and let the kids go through on their own.  Plus Dawn and Xander can go on their own if they want.  It will definitely put the word out about them."  Dawn looked at him.  "Like the convention for assassins, this maze event is for thieves.  The test is to get through it alive.  We've made it through three times and nearly beat it two more times.  I can't get through without Jigen and Goemon.  Fujiko?"

"I've gotten through it once by myself but it's tilted against men.  The other six times I've run it I've gotten stuck in the center.  One of them I ended up in the hospital."

"I made it through once by myself," Jigen admitted. "I didn't do it after then.  I thought I was going to die during that whole thing."  Lupin nodded.  "You can't beat it without us?"

"I have, I know I can't now. It's only gotten harder since my younger days."  He stared down Dawn.  "When I was your age, I beat it four times, four years running.  Then they changed it.  The next six years most of the teams who went through didn't live."  She swallowed.  "We've always made it out with mostly minor injuries.  If you want a real test,  you'll do that one.  You can go in as a group.  You can even have Xander if you want.  You'll compete against us.  We'll go in as a team."  His people nodded.  "Fujiko won't be too far along and we can ward her."

Dawn nodded.  "Fine.  And if we want to do individual runs?"

"It's discouraged any more but you can register to do that," Lupin told her.  "If you want to, go ahead.  You will have to use your gun."  She nodded, leaving her chin tilted up.  "Then we'll go next month.  Jigen, do you want to talk to Xander about that?"

"Sure, Lupin.  This'll be fun.  I haven't been back since the last time."

"This year's theme is Mystical Convergences," Fujiko told him.  "It could add some extra weight to their side since they deal with magic."  She glanced at her husband, who shook his head.  "You don't want me to go alone?"

"No, I do not.  Not this year, Fujiko.  You'll be too delicate to go on your own.  After the birth."  She nodded, accepting that for now.  She was fragile.  "I will not go alone this year.  I have attempted it twice and come out once."

Lupin smirked.  "That's fine.  Someone find me the registration forms."  Fujiko nodded, taking a bite of her salad.  "Eat.  We'll need it."  They dug in, letting him plan his strategy.  If Dawn was smart she'd be doing that too.  A maze with very hard traps was not something that you went into blind.

***

Xander woke up in a dark room, his mind was still fuzzy.  He sat up, one hand going to his forehead.  "Ow," he complained, shaking his head to clear it.  "No more good pain killers from Fujiko," he told himself.  He climbed out of bed, padding into the bathroom to take a quick shower and get dressed in practice clothes.  He couldn't sleep again.  He knew he couldn't.  He came out and found Jigen sitting on his bed.  "Hey, problems?  I'm sorry about earlier."

"It's not a problem."  He got comfortable.  "Come sit.  A decision was reached earlier without you."  Xander gave him a hesitant look as he came over and sat down.  "Not that sort.  Every few years there's a special maze for thieves. It usually runs around the same time as the assassin's convention."

"Are we going to that?"

Jigen shrugged.  "Technically we could but I don't take work like that.  Were you planning on it?"

"No," Xander said, shaking his head.  "I don't want to be a hired gun.  It's lonely and dangerous from what little I know.  I'd rather have a more stable group around me."

"That's fine.  If you want there is a shopping day, we can go to that."  Xander grinned and nodded, shifting closer.  "The maze is happening again this year.  Dawn and David thought they were ready to go out on their own."  Xander snorted.  "So we're going through the maze.  Your group, our group, and whoever wants to go alone."  Xander opened his mouth and Jigen leaned over, closing his lips with a finger.  "I know, it's for thieves.  I want you to consider going on your own.  There are situations you haven't faced before and I think this maze could give you a safer way of examining them.  If I'm right, you'll make it out of there alive and whole.  If not, you might get a little injured."  Xander nodded.  "Dawn wants to go on her own.  Lupin and the rest of us agreed, she's going to get hit with reality."

Xander chuckled.  "I know I've got stuff I could learn.  Lots of stuff.  I can't do a lock, I can't do safes.  I destroy things and I shoot things."  He looked at his hands.  "Jigen, can we please finish my education in explosives?  I know some."

"Sure.  When did you learn that?"

"From the PFC incident."

"Ah."  Jigen smirked at him.  "Sure, kid.  We'll work on that too.  It'll give you more technical range."  He looked at the boy then shifted even closer so he could talk quieter.  "Dawn thinks that your group is ready to go solo.  Or that she could go solo without the group."

"But Marcus...." Xander started.

"True, and he told her as much. The rest of us tried to take down the rookie ego problem she's having.  It's usual.  We've been waiting for it.  I want to know if you've got it."

"I know my limits," Xander told him.  "I know what I'm good for and at."

"You're better than you think, kid, but not quite as good as me," Jigen reminded him with a small grin.  "You okay with that?"  Xander nodded.  "Still don't believe it, do you?"  Xander shook his head.  "That's why I want you to go through by yourself.  This year's maze is like the year I went through on my own.  We can compare problems.  It will prove to you how good you are and can be.  I'd like to see this problem with your self-esteem disappear."

"I'll have Fujiko steal it," he offered with a small grin.

"I don't think she'll want it.  She's feeling confused enough as is."  He ruffled the student's hair, making him smile.  "What were you going to do?"

"I was going to workout like usual.  Why?"

"When did you start that?"

"Um, I don't really remember," Xander lied.  Jigen gave him a look, he knew that tone too well.  "Fine," he sighed.  "Within my first week.  This room is bigger than half of my old house and I can't sleep the full night in here."

"We can set you up a room in a closet," Jigen offered.

"No, that's all right."  Xander looked at him.  "You know what I'm going to miss most about the normal life?" Jigen shook his head.  "Having a pet."  He stood up and headed out into the night to stretch, then to practice.

Jigen shook his head.  "Such a kid," he said, laughing a little.  They'd have to find Xander something that he could take with him to talk to.  He stood up, going to watch from the study.  He'd tell Xander about his admirer tomorrow. He watched the boy go through the katas they had all learned in their first few weeks, going sequentially through them all.  Xander was better than he let on, and better than Goemon let on.  He'd have to ask him for a real evaluation of the boy's strengths.  He left him alone, heading upstairs.

***

Goemon came in from the back lawn.  "Where is Xander?" he asked the dining room in general.

"He was doing all his katas in sequence earlier this morning," Jigen told him.  "He's not out there?"  Goemon shook his head.  "Have you checked his room?"

Marcus walked in and bowed to his teacher.  "Are we discussing Xander and his back problem now?"  They nodded.  "He's in the gym.  I'm not moving him.  He looks to have knocked himself silly on the balance beam.  He's lying face down on the mat."

"I had been working on some minor moves with him.  He needed better balance during lunges," Goemon offered, leading the way to check on the boy.  He found him groaning and unable to move.  "Stay still," he ordered.  "From now on, you do not enter this room without someone watching you."  Xander weakly pointed at a video camera that had been set up in the corner.  Then he passed out again.  "I believe he's hurt his back again."  He ran his fingers over the tense muscles.  "He could be cramping.  I don't believe it's spinal."

Jigen stood up and went to rewind the tape, looking at the last few minutes.  The boy was graceful when he wasn't being watched.  He winced when he saw Xander fall and hit his head on the small beam, falling the few inches to the mats.  "He was doing backflips."

"When did he learn those?" Goemon asked.

Jigen looked at him.  "You didn't teach him?"  The samurai shook his head.  "Lupin!" he yelled.  Lupin came walking in a few minutes later.  "Did you teach Xander how to do backflips?"

"No.  Is that why he's unconscious?"  He came over to look in the eyepiece of the video camera.  "Goemon?"

"Not me," he admitted.  "I have been working on his lunges."  He stood up.  "I believe he is having back spasms.  Nothing seems to be broken."  He looked over as Fujiko walked in.  "Have you been working with the boy?"

She nodded.  "He asked me how to do a backflip recently.  He thinks it'll come in handy for some reason.  I walked him through it and spotted him through the first few.  Why?"  She looked at the body on the floor.  "Is he dead?"

"He is unconscious.  He hit his head," Goemon told her.  "I think we need to sit down and see what each of us is teaching him.  He is soaking up knowledge at an incredible pace."

"He's never been one for books," Marcus said dryly.  "His grades prove that."  The adults glared at him.  "Sorry.  True, but probably unsuitable for the occasion," he admitted sheepishly.  "Should we try to move him?"

"Dawn!" Lupin yelled.  She came jogging in.  "Can you check him to make sure nothing's broken so we can move him?"  She nodded, kneeling beside Xander to do so.  "Has he asked you to teach him anything?"

"He asked me how to pick locks," Dawn admitted absently.  "No breaks.  A strained neck, a few pulled muscles in his back.  He should be fine within a few days."  She stood up.  "Why?"

"He's asked to be taught a more physical and acrobatic form of combat," Goemon told her.  "I was not aware of that."

Dawn nodded.  "Xander's like that.  As long as learning's fun he'll soak it up if he thinks it's useful.  Is that what he did in here?"  Jigen nodded.  "Then he'll be fine.  Give him a few hours."  She shrugged and walked out.

"A few hours to heal a strained neck?" Fujiko said, looking confused.  "Can she do that?"

"No, but I think I know who'll be pushing him," Lupin said dryly, nodding at the boy.  "Okay, let's move him.  Who wants what part?"

"Give him here," Jigen told him.

"I doubt it.  It will only hurt his back and neck worse," Goemon told him.  "I've had similar injuries.  I was not right for nearly a month."  He steadied the boy's head, letting everyone else get the rest of his body.  "Do you believe he will be pushing himself again?"

"I think he's doing so now," Lupin told him, moving to get the feet.  "Jigen, get his middle."  The gunman nodded, moving in to help.

"What can I do?" Fujiko asked.

"Get the doors," Lupin told her.  She nodded, hurrying to do that for them.  She liked the boy, even though he did try all her patience.  Once she had tucked him in, she looked at her friends.  "Why is he doing this?"

Jigen shrugged.  "Who knows."

"He could think that he needs to learn these extra things to help his team," Goemon offered.  "Or he could think that we will hold Dawn's attitude against him and send him away sooner. He has stepped up his physical training and that is the usual move directly before being sent out of the nest."

"We're not sending him away," Jigen said angrily.

"No, we're not," Lupin agreed.  "Try telling him that yet?"  Jigen glared at him.  "We'll work on him later.  For right now, let's go watch that tape and compare notes.  We'll take breakfast in the office."  They trooped out, leaving Marcus to fuss over Xander.

"You dumb idiot," Marcus said fondly, smiling at him.  "I could handle most of that, Xander.  You didn't have to fill in for me as well."  He kissed him on the forehead.  "You rest, I'll be back in a bit.  Let me eat something and then I'll come back up.  I'll even bring some food and something for your back."  He walked out, closing the door behind him.  He stopped in at the office.  "Goemon, when did he hurt his back the first time? I remember he was in pain last night."

Goemon shrugged.  "He never mentioned he was in pain."

"He was hissing and wincing after he got done with you yesterday," Jigen told him.

"Huh."  Lupin looked at them.  "Goemon, when did you start teaching him harder things?"

"A week ago.  Right after he had that near-breakdown in frustration.  Why?"

"When did he come to you to learn extra combat things, Fuji?"

"About a week ago, just under I think," she said, thinking back.  "About five days ago.  The day after he spent eating chocolate."

Jigen coughed.  "He came down to do a lot of practice that same night.  Will we need to talk to him?" Lupin nodded.  "Do you think he wants to leave?"

"No.  I think he thinks he's going to be sent away soon," Lupin told him.  "He has some sort of phobia of letting you down."  Jigen growled.  "Talk to him later.  Marcus, go eat."  Marcus nodded, leaving them alone.  "Let's watch the tape."  He hit the rewind button on the remote, waiting while it went backwards.  Then he hit play at the beginning, letting them all watch what the boy had been doing.

***

Xander woke up and groaned.  This was not a good thing.  He could feel the blankets so someone had found him.  He remembered slipping.  He blinked at the ceiling, then at the faces next to him.  "Hey," he said tiredly.  "I'm in deep, huh?"  Lupin and Jigen both shook their heads.  He forced himself to sit up.  "I'm not?"

"We're concerned, kid.  Why were you doing all that?"

"Because someone needs to," Xander said honestly.  "I have to be better because the other kids are going to count on me."

"They need to start counting on their own skills," Lupin told him, reaching over to touch the soft hair he had brushed earlier.  "You've already got an impressive stable of skills, Xander.  You aren't superman."

"Yeah, but someone still has to know."

Jigen shook his head.  "No, you don't.  Most of that's unnecessary.  We're still teaching people how to pick locks."

"Yeah, I was gonna ask about that too," Xander admitted sheepishly.  "Dawn said she couldn't teach me.  Please don't be mad?"

"We're not mad," Jigen said softly, moving closer to give him a gentle hug.  "I'm not mad.  Disappointed in your friends because they allowed you to think that you needed to know this."

"I'm being realistic, Jigen.  If something happened, I'm going to be their backup.  I've got to be good enough to be able to save them, no matter what."

Lupin shook his head.  "Not necessarily.  If you call us, we'll come."

Xander looked at him.  "Until something happens and you die."  Lupin looked shocked.  "I've got to think farther ahead.  I'm nearly thirty.  My skills are already starting to deteriorate.  If I don't learn it now I might not have a chance later.  The more I can suck up now the better I'll be able to help when it's time."

"I wish the others felt the same way," Jigen told him.  He forced Xander to lay back down.  "Most of them won't think beyond the end of this year."

"Yeah, but I'm older.  Marcus is twenty-two.  David is eighteen.  Dawn is twenty.  They still think they're immortal.  I'm the older and wiser member."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you have to be able to do it all.  You're not the entire calvary, Xander."  Lupin leaned closer.  "Trust me, it's going to be a while before we die.  David will probably die before any of us do."  Xander opened his mouth.  "Listen, kid.  This isn't healthy for you to do to yourself.  Working yourself too hard now means that you'll ache in your old age."

"I already ache," Xander said miserably.  "I'm already aching and miserable most mornings!  They're little kids who have *no* idea what it's like to have life threatening injuries that will haunt you for life!"

"True," Jigen agreed, smiling at him.  "You can't explain it to them either.  They'll never understand until they get one of their own.  David could have learned the same thing from his father but his father wasn't there."

"His mother wanted a baby and tricked him.  Gunn was there as often as he could be," Xander defended.  "Wesley was forced to procreate by the Watchers before he was sent to their school, so the bloodline would continue if he was suddenly killed before he could.  Marcus and his sister came from that.  Dawn is so special that there may never be another one of her.  And they're still kids!  They'll go rushing into things like I used to.  They'll get hurt time and again before they realize that they need to know things and by then it'll be too late.  If something happens during a job, I'm it!  You guys won't be there to hold our hands or baby them!"

"No, but we'll still come," Lupin reminded him.  "We will come if you need us, Xander.  Always.  Or you could always run to us."

"That won't help if they're shot during a job and end up dead," Xander pointed out.

"True," Jigen agreed, looking at Lupin.  "He's feeling like their parent," he explained.

"He probably does.  I do," Lupin agreed.  "You do for him and Dawn."  Jigen agreed.  "Xander, you don't have to do it all on your own."  He shifted closer. "I seriously don't think that Dawn and David will stay in the life," he said quietly.  "Once they're faced with reality they'll go straight and use the skills for other means.  Dawn may break into things to check security systems.  That would give her the high she wants and the steady job she likes.   I have a very strong gut feeling that David will be hurt and opt to go back and help his father," he explained.  "If we get to keep you and Marcus, I'd consider this a well spent two years.  Marcus needs us.  You need us and you like us."  Xander nodded, still looking miserable.  "We'll look at things after the maze, all right?"  Xander nodded again.  "For right now, I want you to stay up here.  You need to rest.  The pain killers I shot into the back of your neck will wear off in about three hours.  The ones in your lower back will wear off in about two."

"Then I'll need to shower and change," Xander pleaded.

"Sure, kid," Jigen agreed.  He gave him a little nudge.  "You'll be staying so I get a real vacation.  Got it?"  Xander relaxed and gave him the most trusting look.   "It'll be okay.  I know it will.  You're staying with us until you decide otherwise."

"Besides, if you really want to learn how to work safes and locks, I am the master," Lupin said smugly, smirking at him. "You should have come to me immediately instead of her.  Why learn from someone who doesn't know it all?"

"Smug bastard," Xander said with a grin.

"Definitely.  The same as you have the right to be," Lupin reminded him.  "As soon as you're healed, we'll be seeing exactly what you can really do.  Not what you think you can do but what you can really do.  When were you going to tell us?"

"When I knew enough to admit I knew something," Xander admitted.  "You asked me to tell you what I could do and I was planning on it."  He plucked at the bedspread.  "I know I don't know enough to claim knowledge."

Jigen frowned at him.  "We saw the tape, Harris."  Xander flinched.  "When did you consider knowing enough?"

"When I could make it all the way across without a pain, a problem, and can do it blindfolded."

"That's an expert level," Lupin instructed.  "I want to know when you're at the apprentice level.  Got it?"  Xander nodded, slower this time.  "Anything else you want to admit to?"

"I'm learning Russian, first aid, and Japanese?"

Lupin shook his head.  "You need to sleep more."  He stood up.  "I'll leave you two alone.  The forms for the maze still need to be filled out."

Xander lifted his chin.  "I want to go through on my own."

Lupin grinned.  "Sure.  Then we'll go together.  I need to know how you work best."  Xander nodded.  "Either the two of us or we'll go through with Jigen."

"Can you help me with Goemon?  I don't understand the guy."

"Think Kendra, trained from birth and happy with his life," Jigen told him.  Xander looked thoughtful.  "He likes his life."  He stood up.  "Want help into the shower?"

"As long as the painkillers hold I'll be fine," Xander told him.   "I wish I had known that was a loritab last night.  I had a lot of problems with them after they had to take the remains of my eye."  He forced himself to stand up and walk slowly into the bathroom.

"What did you take that worked best?" Lupin called after him.

"I cut the painkiller as soon as I got out of the hospital.  They were too expensive to buy," Xander called back.  He heard the groan.  "Sorry, boss, but a reality of life was that I was damn poor.  My job had just been blown up and there wasn't much a one-eyed carpenter could do for a living.  I nearly went back to stripping."  He turned on the shower, looking back when the door opened.  "What?  It was on my roadtrip."  He shrugged slowly.  "It would have paid the bills."

Lupin blinked a few times. "You did?"

"Once or twice," Xander said with a bright grin.  "I hated it but it paid the bills really well.  For it being Oxnard, I was surprised at my pay."  He pulled off the shirt he was wearing.  "Um, being shy now."  Lupin smirked as he turned around.  "Thanks.  This whole breast thing is still throwing me for a loop."  He stripped off his pants and underwear, then climbed into the shower.  He let out a long sigh.  "Oh, nice," he groaned, leaning into the hot water.  "Who else saw me?"

"Dawn and Marcus.  Marcus found you," Lupin told him, looking at Jigen, who shivered and shook his head.  "Any other odd jobs you want to mention?"

"I used to flip a lot of burgers and fill a lot of cones.  I did phone sex for six months."  Lupin coughed.  "Sorry.  I used to hang out a lot at the pawn shops looking for good stuff for Anya."

"That's something else I can teach you.  Gem evaluation is a good thing to know," Lupin told him.  "We can work on that and minor locks while you're resting."

"I'll be fine in a few days."

"You'll stay in that bed until I say otherwise, young man.  You've got to learn to trust me."  Lupin shut the door, walking over to sit on the bed.  "Did you know that?"

"No.  I imagine he was good at it.  His voice is very soft."

"It's like absinth in whiskey," Lupin agreed.  "I can almost imagine those calls coming from him."

"I'm sure you'll get one some day, when we let him out on his own," Jigen teased.  Lupin smirked at him.  "I can't imagine him stripping."

"Male strippers don't have much dancing.  They more move and thrust their hips," Lupin told him, getting comfortable.  The boy was still groaning in the hot water.  "We need to get his medical records from LA."

"I'm not going into that city again."

"That's fine, we'll call and ask the hospital for them," Lupin said with a shrug.  "I'm sure they'll give us an idea of what to give him for bad pain. I wonder if he has any from his glass eye."

"I doubt he'd tell us yet," Jigen pointed out.  He stood up, heading to the bathroom door.  "Xander?"

"Yeah?"

"What did you take when they replaced your eye after you got out?"

"Tylenol and whiskey."

"What would you have liked to take?"

"Morphine.  Heroin.  Something to black my mind and the pain."

"On that same scale, how would you rate the pain you're going to be having?"

"Um, probably about halfway up?'  Xander stuck his head out of the shower.  "What did he stick me with?"

Jigen looked back and Lupin groaned.  "I gave him a local anesthetic."

Jigen looked back at Xander.  "He gave you a local."

"Hey, pregnancy drugs.  I like those.  I could probably do it with some Advil.  I've got a high pain tolerance anymore."

"Does your eye still hurt?"

"Sometimes.  I'm fine with it.  I take some Tylenol and go to bed with a headache."  He pulled his head back in.  "I'll be out soon."

"Fine."  Jigen shut the door and went back to his seat.  "He says he takes Tylenol and claims a headache."

"I've seen three of those since we've known him," Lupin said, considering it.  "During the trip to the desert he had one but Fihad ...." he trailed off, reaching around his friend to grab the phone.  He dialed a number from memory.  "This is Arsene Lupin the Third.  Is the doctor in?" he asked.  He smirked.  "Fihad.  It's me.  I have a technical question.  You saw Xander, what do we give him for pain?  He's having some in his eye now and then and right now he's under a local for a sprained neck and back.  No, he claims he didn't take any pain killers after he got out of the hospital because he couldn't afford it.  He took Tylenol and whiskey to kill the pain and memories.  He thought he should have morphine at the time."  He listened.  "Loritabs gave him a fuzzy head and made him nearly drown in the tub last night.  Yeah."  He made a mental list.  "Thanks.  Would you please call the Wolfram and Hart offices in LA and get them to forward Xander's medical records to you?"  He smirked at Jigen.  "Really?  Can I have a copy?  Because he does have that pesky allergy.  Yeah, we're getting him a medic alert bracelet for it.  Sure.  Thanks."

He hung up, looking at Jigen.  "He got Xander's records when he treated him.  They include a personal copy of his ones from Sunnydale because the boy requested them before he left the hospital because he said he was going to be leaving the town and he didn't want to risk it on his trip.  It's nearly as thick as mine.  He's got more than one drug allergy.  No opiates.  They gave him morphine during surgery and he had some trouble breathing.  They prescribed him Demerol and he had a decent reaction to it.  His file suggests we stick with the non-narcotics."  He paused when he heard the shower stop.  "Fihad's sending us a prescription for him."  He walked into the bathroom, making Xander blush. "Sorry.  I talked to Fihad, he's sending us something for your back and neck. That was a nice job with the hospital in Sunnydale."

"Thanks," Xander said, still blushing.  "I thought it might be necessary."  He wrapped the towel around him.  "Can I get dressed now?"

"Sure.  Want help?"

"No, it's still working."  He walked out, slowly because his balance was off.  "What's he sending me?"

"Atavan.  It's about as strong as Demerol."  He helped the boy to his bed and went to get him something to sleep in.  He smirked at the boxers, holding up a pair.  "How about these?"

"Sure."  Xander put them on under the towel and accepted an older wife beater tanktop.  "Thanks, guys."  He climbed back under the covers.  "Are you sure I can't go watch tv at least?"

"That's your punishment for not coming to me directly to learn lockpicking," Lupin told him. He gave him a fond pat.  "Come on, Jigen.  I'll let you get his drugs filled.  I'll be back in a while to teach you how to open simple handcuff locks."  Xander nodded, grinning at him.  They walked out together, giving each other a look.  Xander would make an excellent addition to their team.   They ran into the other boys at the foot of the stairs.  "Xander is awake and not complaining."

"His admirer is in the sitting room," David told him.  "He's sober this time.  Fujiko said it'd do him good to blush and stammer."  He looked up the stairs.  "Does he need anything?"

"He's resting then I'm going to work on lockpicking with him," Lupin told him. "Xander wanted to learn.  He said he asked Dawn and she refused."  He walked into the sitting room, shaking the young man's hand.  "You are?"

"Mark Spaniel," he said, smiling at him.  "I know you.  I've seen your poster."

"The young woman you're inquiring about is under my direct supervision.  She's the daughter of a friend.  Why did you want to meet her?"

"Hellfires, she's beautiful.  She looks smooth as glass from a distance.  She looks like the sort of girl guys like me like.  I'd like to take her out a few times if your friend wouldn't mind."  He grinned as the door opened and that nice woman walked in with tea.  "Thanks.  So, where is she?"

"She's in bed.  She sprained her back early this morning," Lupin said, letting Fujiko serve the tea.  She looked at him and he smiled at her, knowing what she was thinking.  It would definitely break Xander's shyness to be gushed over.  Plus, it would make some people fairly jealous.  "I can take you up and introduce you if you want or you could wait for a week and a bit."

Mark fiddled with his cup.  "I'm due back at university in a few weeks, sir.  I'm an engineering Masters candidate."  He took a long drink, then put his cup down.  "I'd like to take her to dinner before I had to go back.  I was hoping we could start corresponding."

Lupin nodded.  "Then let me take you up and introduce you.  She's a very special young lady."  He stood up, taking the young man with him.  He tapped on Xander's door.  "Xander?"

"Yeah, Lupin?"

"Visitor."  He opened the door, startling the young woman.  "Xander, this is Mark Spaniel.  He's apparently living near enough to admire you from afar."

Mark blushed as he walked in and sat beside her bed in the chair Jigen had been using.  He reached over and took her hand, kissing the back of it. "I've been watching you for a few weeks now," he admitted with a little boy's grin.  "You're not only talented but deadly beautiful."  He glanced at Lupin, then back at Xander.  "I guess I know why now.  I came over to ask you to dinner when you're better.  Do you think you'd like to go?  There's a nice place in the local village."

Xander blushed, stammering hard.  What did he do in this circumstance?  He looked at Lupin, who nodded.  "Um, sure?" he squeaked.  "It'll be a bit before I'm allowed out of bed."

"That's fine, beautiful.  I've got a few weeks before I've got to go back to the U.  Can I call on you tomorrow?"

"How about this weekend?" Xander suggested.  "I'll be feeling a little better then and maybe we could sit outside and talk."  Mark's face lit up.  "Thank you for telling me why I've felt like I was being watched."  She held out a hand and he kissed the back of it again, caressing the palm before letting it go.  Xander blushed again.  "I'm sorry I'm such a girly girl.  This is the first time this has happened to me."

Mark beamed.  "You're a beautiful woman.  If more men haven't fallen at your feet yet your protectors are keeping you locked up like only a good thief can keep something he's stolen."  He stood up, pushing the chair back.  "I'll see you Saturday afternoon?"

"Make it Sunday," Lupin told him.  "Saturday it's supposed to rain and the umbrella set out there needs mended."  Mark nodded and shook his hand then strode out.  Lupin looked at Xander, then shrugged.  "You wouldn't believe me when I said you were pretty.  What better way to learn how to flirt?"  He grinned.  "I'll be right back, Xander."  He walked out, closing the door behind himself.  He ran into Jigen in his office.  "You haven't left yet?"

"It hasn't come across yet," Jigen said, glaring at his back.  "Did that boy come back?"

"Yup.  He'll be back Sunday afternoon.  They plan on sitting in the garden and talking.  Xander needs to learn how to flirt."  He glanced back, Jigen's shaded eyes were narrowed.  "He'll be fine.  We can have a chaperone.  I'll send Goemon with him."

"I'm sure he'll be embarrassed."

"Xander  still blushes.  Very brightly."  He pulled up his lock picking set and found a pair of handcuffs to teach the boy with.  "Hurry back."  He gave him a pat on the arm as he walked past.  Step one was complete.  Jigen was deathly jealous of the young, tanned, fit Australian.  He tapped again, startling Xander.  "Thought he had come back?"

"Yeah.  Don't surprise me like that!"  He threw a pillow at his boss' head. "That's mean!"

"He showed up last night with flowers and drunk enough for courage."  Lupin sat on the end of his bed.  "Fujiko ran him off."  He held out the tools of the lockpicking trade.  "These are your picks," he explained.  "Each one has a specific type of tumbler to be used on."

"What am I supposed to do on Sunday?" Xander asked, starting to panic.

"You'll plant your butt in a seat in the garden and make nice with him.  If you feel like it, you can try out some gentle flirting without leading him to expect more.  I'll have a chaperone with you two, probably Goemon.  He does it so well," he said with a smirk.  Someone knocked on the door.  "Enter!"  Goemon walked in, looking at him.  "Will you be here Sunday?"  The samurai nodded quickly.  "Good, I'm having you chaperone Xander and her admirer from next door."

Goemon shook his head.  "What?  I do not think I heard you correctly."

"Apparently we've got neighbors who think I'm deadly and beautiful," Xander told him, his eyes still wide.  "I'm having a chat with him Sunday afternoon."

"I will be there," Goemon agreed.  "I will keep this cretin from touching you."

"No.  Xander has to learn how to flirt," Lupin told him.  "Most normal girls would be able to by now.  He'll be perfectly safe in the garden with you watching in case there's a problem."  Goemon raised an eyebrow.  "What?"

"Would not Jigen be the better one for that duty?"

"No.  I don't want the kid shot."  Lupin looked at Xander again.  "You can cancel if you want."

"I..."  He shivered.  "I don't know what the hell is going on, but why me?"

Lupin touched the pale hair.  "You are beautiful in this form, Xander.  It's only natural.  It's something that you should cultivate.  What else did you need, Goemon?"

"There is a delivery for Xander.  Books?  I signed for them."

"Thanks.  I'm hoping this is the stuff I had sent to Cairo and then to here."  He blushed under Lupin's look.  "More studying," he admitted.  "Latin, more Russian, and Greek."

Lupin chuckled.  "Bring them up, Goemon.  It'll keep him occupied while he's stuck in bed."

"Yes, Lupin."  He walked out, shaking his head.  This was a dangerous plan, probably started by his wife.  "Fujiko," he said when he found her looking at Xander's books.  "Is this your idea?"  She smirked at him and handed over the box.  "This could hurt Jigen greatly."

"Why?  He only thinks of the boy like a child, he's said so often enough."  She smirked as she strolled off.  "Tell him I said to feel better and to wear the blue dress this Sunday.  I'll be up to help him do his hair."

Goemon groaned.  This was a bad idea.  He could feel the tragedy starting already.  He carried the box of books up there, handing them over.  "Fujiko suggested he wear the blue dress Sunday."  Xander shook his head.   "No?"

"No.  It dips *really* low in front," Xander told him.  "I'd rather wear something a little more concealing for my first date.  That way I don't feel like he's staring down my top."

Lupin nodded.  "That's wise.  Wear the cream one.  You look good in it."  He held up the flat one.  "This is what I call a spade. That's why my grandfather called it."  Xander nodded, taking it to look over.  He glanced at Goemon, who looked like he was facing a firing squad.  "It will be fine.  The boy will be going back to school in a few weeks.  What safer way to learn how to act like a young woman?"

Goemon groaned, heading out.  This was getting worse by the minute.  He was going to have to kill Jigen to keep him from killing the young man who would be flirting with his interest.  They would not be able to use the house again because of this.

Fujiko gave him a hug.  "It'll be fine," she promised.  "Every woman needs someone to flirt with her."  She let him go and left him alone.  She wanted something and wasn't sure what.  She walked into the kitchen, finding Dawn refilling the water filter pitcher.  "Never get pregnant, it's annoying."  She searched the cabinets but nothing was screaming at her to be eaten. "Isn't there anything salty!" she demanded, stamping her foot.

"There's a tin of caviar," Dawn offered, pulling it down.  "We've also got some dill potato chips."

"Give them to me."  She took them, and a soda, heading out to the garden to read and eat.  She didn't have anything to teach right now.  It was just right, it was what she had needed.  The subtle taste and the salt.  "Dill goes really well with caviar," she told herself, looking a little surprised.  She had never considered the combination before.

Dawn shuddered as she walked away with her glass of water.  She stopped David, shaking her head.  "Let Fujiko eat before you bother her.  She just had a food craving.  She's eating caviar and dill chips."  She went to the weight room to do another few reps.  She was going to get sick if she had to watch that sort of stuff.

David snuck up the back stairs, going to Xander's room.  He knocked politely.  "May I learn this too, please?" he asked.

Lupin nodded.  "Sure.  Where's Fujiko?"

"Dawn said she's eating caviar and dill potato chips," he said with a sickened look.  "I'm escaping but I figured I'd need to learn this too."  He walked in and sat on the foot of the bed.  "Hey, Xan, how's the back?"

"Numb for the minute.  Fihad called me in something and Jigen went to get it."  He shrugged.  "I'll be fine.  It's not the worst I've had."  He picked up the next one in line. "What's the squiggly one for?"

"For multiple tumblers, so you can turn further ones after you've got one set," Lupin told him.  "This is the one that you're making when you use a bobby pin."  Xander nodded, looking very serious as he watched Lupin pick the handcuffs.  "Like that."

David leaned closer.  "Do we have larger mockups?"

"Not at the moment but I can draw them out," Lupin offered.  The kid would need this skill if he went back to his father's side.  Being a good guy was a dangerous job.  They got kidnaped all the time.

***

Xander tapped on Jigen's door then opened the door at the grunt.  "Do you have five minutes to calm me down?" he asked quietly.

"Sure."  He shifted over on the bed, letting him lay down next to him.  He was under the covers, it was appropriate and wouldn't make the boy blush.  "What's wrong?"

"I don't understand that guy earlier," Xander admitted softly, looking down at his hands. Jigen tipped his face up, giving him a bland look.  "I don't understand why someone would want to sit and talk with me, someone normal, someone who wasn't in the life and wasn't like this.  I mean, he can't possibly understand, so why did he want to try?"

Jigen understood what Lupin was doing now.  This wasn't meant to annoy him to no end, it was meant to show Xander that he was wanted for many reasons.  The boy didn't understand that he was very pretty as a man and as a woman.  "He wanted to because he saw a pretty woman.  He wanted to get close to her."  Xander snorted.  "Seriously.  You're a little odd looking because of the silver hair but otherwise you're very beautiful in the traditional sense."

"No I'm not.  I'm scarred, I'm overly-muscled for a girl.  I'm not pretty in the face or most of the body.  Unless he's like Lupin and he only looked at my chest, I don't understand that."

Jigen snickered.  "Lupin is a connoisseur of the female chest," he agreed.

"Yeah, but I'm a connoisseur of sex," Xander told him.

Jigen shook his head.  "Not really, no.  You do it out of necessity, not out of pleasure.  He does it out of pleasure. That's why guys like to look at tits."  He gave the young man a nudge.  "Don't people come up to you when you're a guy and ask you out?"  Xander shook his head.  "Not at all?"

"No.  I can't ever get a date from a club, no matter what sort of line I use.  Even the good ones like 'hi, my name is' don't work for me most of the time.  It was easier when I was younger."

Jigen sighed.  "Xander, people watch you when you walk around."

"I'm loud, brash, and noisy, they're looking at me in disgust."

Jigen shook his head.  "No, it's not.  Trust me on this, people watch you walk for more than your loud and boisterous nature.  They don't even watch you walk because you look dangerous.  They watch you walk because you're very handsome, or pretty in this form." Xander slowly shook his head, looking earnest.  "Really.  They do."  Xander shook his head again.  "Trust me, okay?  They do."

"If you say so," Xander said in his best 'humoring the lunatic' voice.  "If they do, why haven't I ever seen one?"

"Because you're dangerous and people like to watch from a distance.  They don't think they measure up enough to approach the beautiful people."

"But I'm not!"

"You are."

"No I'm not!"

"You are," Jigen said firmly.  "You are very nice looking.   People do watch you walk around."  Someone tapped on the door and he groaned.  "Come."  Goemon walked in.  "Why is it that you're nearby when every argument is about to take place?"

"I cannot sleep due to my wife's mood swings," he said bitterly.  "I heard an argument, it would greatly take my mind off her if I could help."

"Goemon, tell him I'm not pretty!" Xander demanded.  "He needs his eyes checked.  Either that or he's picking on me."

Goemon looked at him.  "I can not tell that lie, Xander.  You are very handsome.  You are also very pretty in this form.  Your pure essence shines through even though you live this life."  Xander gaped at him.  "Now I see why Lupin agreed to this date idea."  He walked away shaking his head.  Adults should not be allowed to destroy children in such ways.  It should be criminal and punishable by death.  Children should be able to appreciate who they are.  He walked into the kitchen and found Marcus putting togther a sandwich.  "Can you not sleep either?"

Marcus squeaked and looked at him.  "Don't sneak up on me," he pleaded.  "I'm taking a break from translating something."  He grinned then walked around him.

"Head up and talk to Xander.  He cannot see that he is attractive," Goemon ordered.

"Yes, sir."  He hurried up the back stairs, finding them in Jigen's room by the noise Xander was giving off.  "Xander?"

"Come on in," Jigen said dryly.

Marcus came in, putting down his sandwich.  He pulled Xander up and turned him, making him look in the mirror.  "If you saw someone like that in a club, what would you think?"

"She's a freak for having the silver hair."

Marcus shook his head, then pinched him hard.  "You're an annoying prick, Harris.  You are beautiful in this and your usual form.  Get used to that fact.  It won't be changing until you hurt yourself again."  He grabbed his sandwich and walked off again.

Xander slumped.  "He's trying to be nice," he noted, coming back so he could sit down again.  "Why won't you guys tell me the truth?"

"Xander, I'm going to kill your parents," Jigen told him.  "Even as a goofy kid you were cute.  Annoying as hell, but cute.  As an adult you've done things that have formed you into a block of sculpture that most people want to sleep with."  Xander looked confused.  "Why do you go with prostitutes?  You could get anyone else you wanted."

"Because it's safer if I do it that way.  No one gets hurt, no one has any feelings. It's a necessity but I don't want anyone in danger because they're close to me.  I figured out when we first started to run together that I couldn't date anyone for real outside the life.  They'd never understand, they'd always be in danger, and then I'd end up hurting them when I left too often."  Jigen opened his mouth.  "I guess I'll settle down some day and start some sort of family.  Maybe adopt a few kids since I'm infertile, but some sort of family."

Jigen shook his head.  "Xander, you're screwed up so badly I don't think a shrink will help you," he said quietly.  Xander looked hurt and he grabbed the boy so he couldn't move.  "I promise, it's not necessary.  Yes, we do tend to date inside the profession for that reason.  There's other reasons not to, including what Lupin went through with Fujiko screwing us over at every turn.  You're not thinking right.  People want you.  If Lupin announced at a club that you were free then a lot of people would line up to get with you."  Xander shook his head.  "Yes, they would."

"No, they wouldn't.  They'd line up to get to him.  Or to you.  Not to me."  He stood up.  "I guess you're being nice, but you don't have to do it."  He walked back to his room and his Latin textbook.  He sulked, it was nice of him but he didn't want that stuff.

Jigen groaned and flopped onto his back, staring at the ceiling.  "Shit.  I'm going to kill his parents yet for doing that to him."  Someone knocked.  "What?"

"Is Xander all right?" Dawn asked.

"No.  He doesn't understand why people like him."

"Because he's Xander," she said patiently.  "That's part of his charm.  He'll never understand and it'll only drive women insane because he's clueless."  She closed his door, heading down to talk to Xander.  She knocked.

"No."

"Fine.  Don't talk to me."

Xander opened the door.  "Dawn, I'm not in the mood tonight.  Tomorrow."  She nodded, trudging off.  He closed the door and went back to his sulking.  Why wouldn't anyone give him an honest opinion?

***

Jigen stomped into breakfast, glaring at Lupin, who only smirked from behind his paper. He snatched it away.  "Xander does not understand why people want to talk to him.  I'm going to kill his parents."

Lupin took his paper back.  "Of course he doesn't.  That sort of innocence is the most heady sort."  He turned the page.  "Pops is getting an award today for that Cairo job a few months back."  Jigen growled.  "I'll try to work with him later."  Xander coughed from the doorway.  "Morning, Xander.  Come in.  Sit and eat."  He scanned the rest of the news.  "Want to go see Pops get an award?"

"No thanks.  I don't feel like I can run yet," Xander admitted, sitting very delicately.  "Jigen, I'm sorry I'm upsetting you," he said quietly.

"You're not, this mental block is bothering me."  He sat down, looking at the young man.  He had done something with his hair this morning, winding it up like Fujiko had shown him.  It was wispy around his face and trying to come down.  It showed off his neck, which was gleaming slightly in the pale light the room was lit with.  He was wearing a light green dress, one that accentuated his form but not anything else.  "You should go to Pop's reception, but wear something else," he noted.  "We can tease him. It's our favorite game."

"I still can't run today," Xander told him.  "I'd be a liability."

"He'd never recognize you," Lupin pointed out.  He put aside his paper and looked at Xander.  "That is not a dress I would have chosen."

"It has a sweater but I'm warm," Xander offered.  "The sweater's black.  I'm trying."

Lupin nodded.  "You are and you're doing very well, Xander."  Marcus walked in.  "Pops is getting an award today.  We should all go."  Marcus nodded, sitting beside Xander and giving him a long look.  "He'll be changing later.  He won't chase us."  He smirked at Xander.  "Let me pick out what you're wearing.  I like that hairstyle though."

"It'll fall before long, it's already fallen twice," Xander told him.

"There are firmer ways to do that," Lupin told him.  He looked at the clock, then out at the garden.  "Goemon's not up yet?"

"He's napping in the library."  Marcus blinked when everyone looked at him.  "I fell asleep in there myself.  He was reading in the soft chair in the corner."

"Fujiko must have been on a real rip last night," Jigen noted, pulling over the bowl of eggs.  "How should we dress for this?"

"It's a formal reception.  Wear something nice.  I've got something for Xander in my closet."  Xander arched an eyebrow up.  "I told you I was going to get you some things."  Fujiko walked in yawning.  "Morning.  Why was your husband sleeping in the library?"

"Bastard," she said bitterly.  "I was cold all night."

"That was the reason," Xander told her.  She glared at him.  "What?  I don't think he understands women any better than I do."  She nodded, sighing as she stood up to check on him.  She woke him by kissing him and sliding into his lap.  "That's my good deed for the week," Xander said happily.  "I try to do one a week; little things like opening doors."  Jigen shook his head but he was smiling.  Lupin grinned at him.  "I'm still going to be unable to run if we're spotted."

"We'll be fine," Lupin promised.  "Most of the biggest movers and shakers will be there today.  It'll make him look better for not catching us."

"As long as the other part of his obsession doesn't come back, I'll be happy to taunt him," Xander promised.

"What other part?" Jigen asked.

"All obsessions come with a sexual component," Marcus reminded him.  "I suspect Xander found a bit of that while they were being held hostage together and he was telepathic."  Xander nodded, blushing again.  "Really?  Anything interesting?"  Xander gave him a look so he grinned.  "It'll be fine, Xander."

"Of course it will."  Lupin touched Xander's hand.  "Show me?"  Xander concentrated on a few of them, making him shiver.  "Really?" he asked smugly.  "I can't tell which one that was."

"I suspected it was yours since he's so focused on you, boss," Xander said, batting his dark lashes at him.  Lupin laughed, giving him a pat on the arm.  "I'm still sorry I bothered everyone last night."

"Xander, you still haven't seen it?" Marcus demanded.  Xander scooted away from him.  "Sorry.  I'll modulate my tone.  You are gorgeous.  It's not the body, the hair, your face, it's all of it, dear.  Love, if I wasn't so straight I won't bend in a high wind, I'd take you for myself.  You are a priceless treasure worth stealing."  Xander stood up and walked off.

"He doesn't think he is?" Lupin asked.  Jigen shook his head.  "At all?"  Jigen shook his head again, giving him a look.  "Then I'll have to get Pops to fix that."  He looked at Marcus.  "That was a little heavy."

"Who was lying?  He is!  Men like Xander are very rare!  He's sweet, kind, gentle to those he loves, he's loyal to a fault, he's a wonderful lover from what I've heard through the walls. Who wouldn't want that?"

"According to him, no one," Jigen told him.  "That's why I'm going to the Midwest and kill his parents."

Lupin shook his head.  "Let me handle this one, boys.  It can be fixed."  He handed over the bacon.  "Eat, it'll be a busy day.  Marcus, do you have something slightly formal?"

"Beside my suit collection and my tuxedo?" he asked.

"A nice suit should be fine," Lupin told him.  "A tux is too much for the middle of the day."  He looked the boy over.  "Why don't you wear them?"

"I don't like them.  I'm rather comfortable in my normal clothes, why would I want to strangle myself in a suit?"

"I'm having deja-vu," Jigen announced.

Lupin nodded.  "Goemon once said that when I asked him why he wore his kimono all the time."

"It looks more comfortable than a suit," Marcus snorted.  "I'd still prefer my usual attire of pants and a shirt, but I'm sure he's comfortable.  I do not understand the chest binding but I suspect it's something ritualistic or formal."  He took the bacon, adding some of it to his plate.  "Should someone get Xander so he can eat?"

"No.  He'll be fine, he's in the kitchen," Lupin said, glancing at his watch.  That locator was very handy sometimes.

***

Lupin nodded at Fujiko to flank his position.  Zenigata was alone in a corner.  She walked up to him and leaned on his arm, making him frown at her.  Then he did a double-take.  "You," he sneered.  "What are you doing here?"

"We're here to celebrate your accomplishment," she said happily.  She walked him away, taking him to the room Lupin had scanned earlier.  She locked them in, smirking as Lupin came in after them.  "Sorry."  She relocked the door, waving a hand.  "Congratulations.  We feel responsible for this one."  Everyone in the room clapped and Xander blew a noisemaker.

"We're saving you from the politicians before they give you a promotion and make you sit behind a desk," Jigen said, smirking at him from his spot on the couch beside Xander.

Zenigata nearly whimpered.  The whole group was here.  In the other room were sixty ICPO inspectors and brass. He could yell and get saved, plus credit for capturing them.  He opened his mouth but Fujiko covered it with a hand.  "Yell and I'll have to have a mood swing on them and kill them all," she hissed.  He looked scared. "Yes, the impossible happened without my permission."  She glared at her husband, who only looked back.

Zenigata pulled away, looking at them.  "You're insane."

"Only sometimes," Dawn admitted.  "But we love you, Gramps."  She grinned.  "Are you happy?"

"I'm very happy but I'm still going to arrest you."

Xander stood up slowly.  His dress was a subtle water pattern in dark blue and it hugged his body to his hips before flaring out.  "It's my fault.  I wanted to come check on you, make sure that you were still all right."  She slowly moved closer, laying a hand on his head.  "My powers are nearly gone but I can tell that you're much better now."  He grinned.  "See, I'm not so bad all the time."

"You're still a crook and a murderer."

"Honey, I was a killer long before I joined the life.  I dealt with the strange, unusual, and deadly before this."  He winced as he moved wrong.  "I think it's time for a pain pill."

"Oops," Dawn said quietly. Xander glared at her.  "You can have it as soon as we get home.  Sorry, Lavelle."

"Fine," he sighed.  He started to move but Lupin had his arm around her shoulders. "I wanted to sit."

"In a minute."  Lupin looked at Zenigata.  "We came to toast you but we could always leave again.  That's not a problem, old man.  Of course, we're wanting to meet the rookie they're going to stick with you.  Better to scare them now and all that."  He smirked, earning a frown.  "You didn't hear?  They're giving you a rookie next week.  Fresh from the academy.  They're giving him to you so you can train him to catch the younger generation."  He nodded back at Dawn.  "I would have thought that you would have been introduced tonight."

Zenigata spluttered.  "You hacked our system!"

"No, I did," Dawn told him, grinning and getting comfortable.  "I know a world-class hacker but she only does it for fun and boredom.  Or she did before she died."  She looked at Jigen and Goemon.  "She did die, right?"  They nodded. "Good."  She looked at him again, noticing the shocked look.  "Ah, you don't know why.  She hurt Lavelle very badly.  She's part of the reason he has white hair and scars."

"True," Xander agreed, smiling slightly but looking away.  This man was very strong.  "She deserved what she got for what she did to me.  Giving me to that monster was not what best friends do."

Lupin gave him a gentle squeeze.  "So, will we be seeing you soon?"

"As soon as I get some help," Zenigata snarled.

"Now, now, don't be like that," Marcus said stiffly.  "We're being nice.  It's a truce situation."

"Yeah, we like you," Dawn told him.   The inspector gave her a look like she was insane.  "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be that good.  You make us strive to whole new heights.  Hell, we wouldn't have to be half as creative if it wasn't for you."  She stood up and walked over a glass of champagne.  "Here, yours is getting empty."  She took a sip from her own.  "We've got a full, unopened bottle if you'd rather have it from there.  None of us are the poisoning type but I know you're a tad bit paranoid."

"I'm locked in a room with eight of the most wanted people in the world, wouldn't you be paranoid?" he demanded.

She shrugged.  "Not until they tried something.  Knowing us the way you do, why would you think we'd hurt you?"

"No, instead you're here to make fun of me."

Xander looked in his eyes.  "I don't do that."  The Inspector blinked, staring at him.  "I don't make fun of others except in the middle of a battle.  I find it a useful tactic sometimes, but I'd never make fun of people because I've been there myself too many times."  He sipped his drink to keep him from saying anything else.  "I'm going to sit down now, my back still aches," he said softly, heading back to the couch.

Zenigata glared at Lupin.  "You turned a gentle man into that creature there, are you happy now?"

"He was like this before Jigen ever met him," Lupin said with a shrug.  "We haven't done anything but support him."  Xander nodded, finishing his drink and starting on another one.  "Go easy on those, Xan, they'll knock you out when you get your pain pills."

"What did he do?"

"I fucked my back doing a backflip on a balance beam," Xander said lightly.  "I was unconscious for hours."

Jigen nodded.  "Worried us to no end.  This is his first official outing as a woman."

"He did a good job, I noticed him chatting with people in there," Zenigata admitted, staying against the wall.  He thought the man had taken that necklace off him.

"You could sit down," Lupin offered.  "I've called a truce for the night."

"I haven't."

Lupin smirked.  "Fine, be that way.  I'm going to sit down.  Dress shoes hurt."  He sat down on Xander's other side, giving her a gentle stroke to the arm.

"Get a room," Dawn snorted.  Goemon swatted her.  "Sorry.  Some of us don't need to see that.  Xander's a cute woman but still."

"She's stunning," Zenigata said, looking at her like she was insane.  Sure, Dawn was pretty but it was conventional.  That other one was stunning.  She glowed like Fujiko.  He looked at her.  "You're pregnant," he said flatly.  She nodded.  "You're still in public?"

"Yes, pregnant women can do all sorts of things these days."

"She will not listen to anyone with sense," Goemon told him, glaring at his wife.  "Were this the old days, I would have locked her in the house and had her meals delivered to her."  Zenigata looked stunned.  "You had not heard?"

"I had heard you two got married.  It's yours?"

"She is faithful," Goemon told him.  "Otherwise she would be dead."

The Inspector nodded, backing further against the wall.  "Understood.  I'm sure you'll be a very....decent father.  Probably very strict.  When I put you in jail I'll make sure that the child goes to a decent family who'll make sure the child lives a good life."

Lupin laughed.  "If you catch us, Pops."  He got up, looking out the peephole of the door.  "Looks like we're all alone."  He looked at Zenigata again.  "We'll let you go soon."  He sat down again.  Xander was still blushing.  "You all right?"

"Yeah.  I'm still getting flustered with people telling me nice lies," Xander told him, looking at the inspector.  "It's not necessary."

Zenigata came over.  "Do you actually think I lie like one of you?"  Xander shook his head.  "Then believe what I say, young lady.  You are not as homely as you think.  You are actually quite stunning now that you're not wearing that indecent thing he kept putting you in."  Jigen growled.  He swallowed and slowly backed away.  "I see."  He looked at Lupin.  "Why did you kidnap me?"

"To toast you.  Like I said," Lupin said smugly.   He felt Xander's nudge and looked at him, giving him a gentle kiss to the forehead.  "You behave.  We'll go home soon."  Xander nodded, settling back into the couch.  "Knees," he said gently.  Xander crossed her legs, looking much more comfortably with it now.  "Thank you, good job."  He looked at Zenigata again.  "You don't have to drink the champagne but we are.  It's all from the same bottle."  He sipped his glass.  "To him," he announced, lifting his glass.

"To the inspector," Xander seconded first.

"To the inspector," the rest agreed, saluting him then drinking.

Lupin grinned at Xander.  "You make a wonderful second in command," he praised.  Xander beamed, making Lupin smile.  "Behave or I'll make you practice tomorrow."

"I should. It's the only way to get moving again.  Besides, it'll make me wear out the anxiety before the date."

"Date!" Zenigata demanded.  "You're making her date?  Do you have no humanity?  She's got to be messed up!  She was a man recently!"

"We're working on getting me out of this thing," Xander admitted quietly.  "It'll be gone soon."

Zenigata glared at Lupin.  "You're more evil than I thought.  Do you often go up to pure little creatures and offer them drugs as well?"

"No, just candy to nuns," Lupin said smugly.  He nodded Fujiko to look out the door.  "So, what are you going to do when we hide Fujiko?  Will we have to pull something stunning to get you after us?"

Zenigata glared at him.  "I'd never hurt a pregnant woman.  I hear solitary is good for them."

Xander cackled.  "That's a good one, Gramps.  I'm sure we'll get along just fine when it's us against you."

Dawn nodded.  "I hope your apprentice is like you.  I like you.  You don't try to over-think things.  You learn about your targets, I like that in a gamesman.  It makes the game better."

"This is a game to you?" he demanded.  She nodded. "And the lives you ruin?"

"I only steal from those who have things that carry insurance," Dawn informed him.  "If they don't then the museums do.  Beyond that, I do not kill."  The Inspector looked stunned, his mouth open as he looked at her.  "I've seen enough death and destruction in my life."

"Your sister, she called in the complaint in Cleveland," he said flatly.  She nodded.  "Her friend that died, the hacker?"  Dawn nodded again.  He looked at Jigen.  "Yours to avenge his treatment?"

"A necessity.  She had been judged and found guilty," Goemon told him.  "We were the instruments of justice.  Anyone who can give someone like Lavelle to such a monster and keep him there when he pleads and begs does not deserve to live."

"You're not God," Zenigata reminded him hotly.

"No, but it was one of them who said she had to go.  They're the ones who punished her."  Dawn stood up, walking over and pressing something against his head.  "If you're going to come after me, you're going to have learn all new skills, Gramps.  You or your apprentice."  He gaped, his eyes showing rage.  "Now do you understand?"  He nodded, closing his mouth and sipping his champagne.  He started to feel dizzy.  "It's a mild sedative," she soothed, stroking his arm.  "You'll be out for maybe an hour.  Then you'll get up and remember you saw us and chased us away once everyone was gone," she whispered.  His eyes fluttered and she caught the glass as he fell to the floor.  "He's out."

"Good job, Dawn," Lupin told her, getting up to help move him onto the couch.  "What was that thing?"

"Limited knowledge.  The fact that magic does work and exist.  That some of us play with the worst of the forces in the universe.  I figured we'd be running into a demon soon and he'd have to deal.  I'd rather have him deal now than get eaten then."

Lupin nodded.  "Understandable.  Next time warn me."  She nodded, looking out the door before leaving.  She'd go start the car.  Fujiko looked at him before following.  Lupin looked at Marcus.  "Can you soften that?  The sedative shouldn't have worked that fast."

"I'll try," he admitted, moving to touch the older man's head.

"His mind is like a safe," Xander told him.  "Once he's got a fact, he'll latch onto it until it pops right into the light as being right.  For him, it's like a big 3-D crossword puzzle.  The clues are what we give him."  Jigen stood up and helped him up.  "Thanks.  Hopefully the pain killers are before the stairs.  These shoes are killing me."   He gave Lupin a kiss on the cheek.  "That was sweet.  What did you bribe him with?"

"Nothing," Jigen told him.  "You heard him, he doesn't lie.  He was shocked that you thought you weren't.  Take a long look in the mirror tonight while you're doing your hair again.  You'll understand it."  He walked him out with David and Marcus behind them.  Goemon came out after them.

Lupin patted Zenigata on the head.  "Happy nap, Pops."  He walked out, running into a housekeeper.  "Inspector Zenigata developed a small headache," he told her.  "He's napping in that room."  He pointed it out then gave her a hundred Franc note.  "Give him an hour or so before you wake him, all right?"  She nodded, speaking rapidly as she went to check on him then went back to cleaning.  He chuckled as he stole another flute of champagne.  All objectives had been achieved.

***

Xander wandered back into Jigen's room that night, giving him a look.  "He doesn't lie?" he asked as he sat down.  Jigen didn't look up from his crossword, he shook his head.  Xander got between them.  "Then why can't I see that?"

Jigen pushed his head out of the way.  "Because you got put down and made fun of too many times."  He gave him a gentle pat on the head.  "What did you do to your hair this time?"  He looked that way.  "Hairspray?"

"Fuji."

"Don't let her do that again.  Crunchy hair is not attractive."  He gave him another pat.  "Six letter word for dog."

"Collie?" Xander suggested.  Jigen shook his head.  "Borzoi."  Jigen looked at him so he shrugged. "I watch dog shows sometimes. They're on late."

"It fits.  We'll see."  He gave him a little nudge.  "Go panic somewhere else."  Xander pouted at him.  "I'm not going to save you from the date tomorrow.  I can't.  You could call and tell the guy you're not feeling well but I doubt it'd work.  He'd come over and serenade you while you were trying to sleep or something."

Xander leaned against his shoulder.  "My life doesn't suck?"

"It does sometimes or you wouldn't have a sore back and could run away."  He grinned down at him and Xander grinned back.  "Go figure out what you're wearing."

"Lupin's already figured that out for me. It's cute, sweet, and very feminine without being trashy.  For such a guy, he has good taste in women's clothes."

Jigen started to laugh, shaking his head.  "You're bad."

"He does."  He snuggled in again.  "I'm going to flop and blush all afternoon."

Jigen nodded.  "Probably.  It's a learning experience.  The next time you'll do it less."

"Yeah, I'm sure I will, but I'm tired of not being myself."

"We planned for this to last two weeks to a month.  You're in that range."  He gave him a short squeeze.  "Go talk to Lupin.  Maybe he'll let you free sooner."  Xander nodded, giving him a real hug before leaving.  Jigen watched his back, shaking his head.  "Poor kid.  Soon I'm sure."  He picked back up his crossword, dropping it when he heard the scream.  He grabbed his gun, walking out into the hall.

Xander came out of his own room, frowning.  "Wasn't me," he noted.  He had his own weapon ready.  "You go that way."  He nodded then headed toward the younger generation's rooms.  He listened at each one, hearing the general 'what was that' going on in there.  He had to pass by Goemon and Fujiko's room but didn't hear anything in there.  He tapped gently on the door, waiting until someone answered.  "Did you scream?" he asked her.  She shook her head.  "Stay up here.  I'm not sure what that was."  He jogged down the stairs, heading to check the main rooms.  Most of them were empty, he ran into Lupin checking some of them.  "Jigen's upstairs.  I got my side of the hall and Goemon's room.  Fujiko was in there alone.  Dawn, David, and Marcus were going 'what the fuck' so I'm pretty sure it wasn't them."  The thing screamed again.  "What is that!" he demanded, looking up.  It was coming from above them.  "Any insane relatives?"

"No."  He led the way up the stairs and to the third floor rooms no one used anymore.  They were storage now.  He pointed for Xander to do one side while he got the other, each checking the small rooms.  He came to the last room on his side and turned around, looking at Xander's side.  The boy wasn't out of his yet.  The doors were all open so he went to the last door.  He found him bending over something.  "What's that?"

"A little kid, she's not breathing," he said between breaths.

Lupin ran for a phone, hoping someone was going to come out here without reporting it.  They couldn't get the kid to the hospital fast enough.  He ran past Jigen.  "Third floor.  Help Xan."  He found a phone and called for some help.  This was beyond his reach.

Jigen ran into the room, finding Xander still doing CPR.  "She's not up yet?"

"Not yet."  He handed it over, stepping back because he was dizzy.  "Ooh, no air."  He blinked a few times, then looked out the window. "Banshee," he said, pointing.

"Here?  This ain't Ireland," he called.  The thing was watching them. Xander moved back to help, doing the chest compressions while he breathed for her.  "This sucks," he said as he inhaled for the next one.

"True."  Someone else came running.  "Dawn, help!" he yelled, knowing it was her.

"Off," she ordered, lighting up her hand.  She shocked the baby good, making it scream and thrash.  Then she fell to her knees, holding it tightly.  "Shh, little one.  It'll be okay," she soothed, glaring at the banshee.  It backed off, continuing to watch.  "Who are you?"  The little girl continued to sob.  "Shh, it's all right."  Lupin came back with one of their neighbors, a doctor who knew them and what they were.  "I've got her restarted," she said, letting the doctor have her.  "They did CPR for nearly five or six minutes."

"What was the screaming?" Lupin asked.  Jigen pointed at the thing outside the window.  He frowned at it then at the little girl.  "Is she Irish?"

The doctor looked out, then grimaced.  "No, it's been wandering about recently.  We had hopes that you would kill it."

"Done," Xander agreed.  "Dawn, I need some holy water.  I'll also need a box.  We'll suck the thing into it and trap it for now."  She nodded, hurrying to do it for him.  He stood up, opening the window.  His gun went into his waistband and he pulled his pocketknife, slitting a small cut on his wrist.  "Here, come get this," he called, pushing forward his usual sense of innate trouble.  The banshee floated closer, sniffing him.  "Yes, I know, I've been to your realm and back.  I wish I had seen you when I died both times."  She floated closer, touching the side of his face, crying for him.  "Yeah, I know."  A box was handed to him and he dripped the blood into it.  "Here we go, precious, into here so we can send you home."  He settled it underneath her, slowly raising it around her.  She jumped and he closed it fast, taking the holy water to anoint the lock.  He sealed it with his blood over top, then more holy water.  He climbed back inside, handing off the box.  Lupin grabbed his wrist.  "It's not a fatal one.  I'm fine."  He put some pressure on it while he looked at the box.  "It needs to go home."

"We'll mail it to someone I know in an abbey," Lupin promised, leading him away.  "How did she get in here?"

"You were complaining about the security system going haywire," Jigen reminded him as he followed.  The doctor had taken the little girl already. She would be fine with him.  They went into Lupin's bathroom, he had the best first aid kit.  Xander's arm was quickly bandaged and taped down.  "That was dumb."

"No, it was necessary.  Very few things draw a banshee to an area.  One of them is death."

"You died?"

"Twice," Xander agreed.  "I've also brought people back to life before."  He shrugged.  "Like most things demonic, it liked me."  Lupin grimaced.  "I'm fine.  I knew what I was doing.  The woman was drawn by the death in my blood.  That's why she was crying.  As soon as she's released back at home she'll be fine."  He walked off, going to put his gun away and lay down.  He was a little lightheaded now.  All in a day's work.

Jigen waited until the outer door had closed.  "This is why his friends kept him," he said.  "He's done the same thing around me before."

"It's a handy bit of knowledge but he could have died."  Lupin leaned against the sink.  "He's still a white knight at heart."

"Yeah, but now he's fighting the bad guys with us.  It suits him, Lupin."

"I'm not going to send him away.  Shit, I'd never do that.  We need him and I like him. He's the only person I know who draws more trouble than I do."  Jigen nodded.  "What was that?"

"A routine occurrence from his past life."  Jigen walked away, leaving his boss confused.

"Huh?"

***

Xander sat down at the table in the garden, looking over at their chaperone.  His 'date' wasn't there yet but he wanted to appear comfortable before he got there.  The thick bandage from the night before was thinner now, more gauze than anything.  His dress was a nice sundress with a sweater over it.  Lupin said it brought out his eyes.  His hair was pulled back into a french braid.  He had even let Fujiko paint his nails for him. He had even agreed to wear pantyhose, it was the full kit today.  He smiled and held up a hand as his 'date' came out through the house.  "Good afternoon."

"I see you're feeling better.  How is your back?" he asked, smiling and sitting across from her.  He took her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb.  "What happened to your wrist?"

"We had a break-in last night on the third floor and I slipped on some broken glass," Xander explained.  "It's nothing, barely more than a scratch but my guardian is really fierce about protecting me.  He thinks I'm a trouble magnet."  Goemon snorted and continued cleaning his sword.  Not an overt threat, more of a statement.

Mark glanced at him.  "Is that a real katana, sir?"

"It is.  It has been passed down through my family for generations."  He stood up, bringing it over to show it off.  "Do not touch, it is very sharp," he ordered when a hand reached out to the blade.

Xander looked at the handle.  "You've got a loose thread."  Goemon looked at, scowling at the errant thing.  "Want help reweaving it later?"

"No, I can do so.  It's not any trouble."  He went back to his own seat, glancing at them now and again.

Xander mentally sighed.  What to say next?  "So, you're in college?" he asked, searching for a workable topic.  Otherwise this was going to be a *long* afternoon.

"I'm a Master's candidate at home.  I'm doing engineering, particularly computer engineering, specializing in design."

Xander knew a bit about that.  "Wow.  I had a friend who was a hacker way back when."  Mark grimaced so cutely!  "She never did anything with it.  We broke into city hall to look up building's owners of nuisances so we could report them.  Things like that."

"Wow.  A hacker with a conscience?"

"More like a good little girl just starting to go bad back then."

"What happened to her?"

"She died earlier this year," Xander admitted. "Her bad habits finally caught up with her."  Goemon gave him a look.  "She was WillowTree if I remember right."  Mark grinned.  "You heard of her?"  He nodded.  "That was my buddy Wills."

"Wow.  It is a small world.  I did my senior project on something of hers.  It had to do with her virus that was putting mainframes onto the internet without the companies knowing."

"I remember that one," Xander agreed.  "She only did it once or twice."

"Someone did it to the ICPO a few months back.  My instructor was quite upset with them.  It was his server design and it was supposed to be unhackable.  He had even looked at my project while he had been designing it.  Where did she die?"

"Cleveland."

"Hmm.  That's where they said the ICPO was done from.  Maybe she did it right before she died?"  Xander shrugged.  "You don't know?"

"I wasn't there," he admitted. "She and I hadn't talked in a few years because of her bad habits."

"Drugs?"

"No, using others."

"Ah.  Sometimes that happens."  Mark went quiet for a minute, trying to find a topic.  "How about you, are you in college?"

Xander giggled.  "I'm too old for that.  I'm doing an untraditional bit of learning right now.  I'm learning Japanese, Russian, and Latin from the books, plus accounting, tax laws, and fighting from Goemon."

"Wow.  Why?  I mean, if you're not in college and all."

"I thought it might come in handy.  My dad is a businessman and I wanted to follow him but he had this thing against girls doing the business.  So I'm proving him wrong.  Since he's not getting a son-in-law anytime soon."  Mark grinned at that.  "What part of Australia are you from?"

"I'm from the capital, Canberra.  It's about the only inland city, most of the others are on the ocean."

"I love the ocean," Xander said, smiling.  "Do you surf?"

"Not really.  I do okay body surfing but I'm not hot on a board.  You?"

"I body surf too.  I grew up in Southern California, a little town outside of LA."  His smile got brighter.  "Wow.  How do you feel about Americans?"

"I like 'em," he admitted with a shy grin.  "Most of 'em are all right.  Some of the tourists are pricks but otherwise they're nice enough I guess.  You're definitely not representative of the ones I've met so far.  I ran into one American ICPO investigator who was a nasty little slut last year.  Couldn't keep her lips shut for anything."  He gave another shy grin.  "She got sent home though, pretty damn quick at that.  You know, most people hear I'm Aussie and ask if I raise sheep."

"They raise sheep down there?"

Mark laughed, nodding.  "It's one of our bigger exports."

"I always thought tourism 'cause that's all I ever see.  That big rock and the ocean and come see the natives because they are durable and hearty, plus pretty neat I guess."  Mark nodded, grinning fully now.  "Is Canberra near the big rock thingie?"

"Ayer's rock?  Not really.  That's about on the other side of the country from us.  That's in the Northern Territories, on the other side of the desert from us.  Most of the center of the country is the desert and not many people can stand it.  If you want to see the rock, go to Alice Springs."

"Wow.  I didn't think Australia was that big.  My geography teacher said it was the same size as Idaho."

Mark chuckled and shook his head.  "A bit bigger if I've been given a fair size of Idaho and most of your other states.  Now Texas maybe, but definitely bigger than the smaller states.  You really didn't learn much about us, did you?"  Xander grinned and shook his head.  "Didn't do any research?"

"I've been stuck in bed for the last few days.  I had to beg to get my Russian text."

"Poor thing."  He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, earning a glare from the samurai watching them. "He really is a fierce guard dog, huh?"

"He's a sweetie most of the time, unless I'm doing something wrong during practice," Xander assured him.  "Then he can get a bit drill sargentish.  But I usually deserve it."  Mark smiled at that.  "How have you been watching me at practice?"

"Ah, the good question.  I climbed out on the roof to get away from my keepers for a break.  They're my aunt's friends and had me doing some minor design work for their job.  They've also got five kids of their own, who all have at least two giggly friends and about fifteen chihuahuas.  It was in defense of my sanity.  I didn't mean to look but I saw this glinting thing and it caught my attention.  I'm a bit of a magpie that way, I like shiny things.   I saw you practicing with a silver staff and your hair was glowin' about as good as the staff was.  You were like some fierce amazon and I've always admired strength in girls."  He gave her another shy smile.  "Why are you takin' self defense that hard?"

"My dad's worth millions," Xander told him with a small shrug.  "The reason I'm here is because they saved me from some very bad things.  They know I needed help and I was in their way at the time so it was handy to keep me for a while and then my dad forgot me," she sighed, looking away.  A total lie, hopefully Jigen wasn't listening.  "My dad made some sort of deal for them to keep me for a bit.  It seems Mr.  Goemon is one of the best trainers there is and he understands not wanting to feel weak and helpless, like a *girl*."  She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, he was eating this up.  He looked so upset for her.  "So I'm here for another few weeks then I get to go home.  Where I will promptly toss my father into a closet and not let him out until he buys me something really nice to make up for inconveniencing these nice men and finds me a trainer to deal with there."

Mark grinned.  "I know you'll be aces, princess.  Girls like you should know some self defense.  It'll save them from leches.  There's a lot of those in the wide world."  He pulled her hand up and kissed the back of it, earning a growl.  "Sorry, didn't mean to cross a line.  Is this like prison, I can't touch her?" he asked with a shit-eating grin.

Goemon looked at him. "If it were, you would have already lost that hand and your lips."

"Good point," he agreed, giving her a look.  "Are you well enough to stroll?"

Xander shook her head.  "Not yet.  I've just had my pain medicine and I'm still a little woozy.  In a little while we can walk around.  Don't expect me to be able to tell you about the gardens, but they're very pretty.  I'm in them each morning."

"And some nights," Mark reminded her with a grin.  "I caught you a few days back in the middle of the night.  I seem to have found a sudden liking of roofs."  Xander giggled, grinning at him.  "You do look magnificent when you're working out.  Surely you've had some other training."

"An all girl's prep school.  You wouldn't *believe* some of the bitches we get in there."  He was basing it on Cordelia's friends from high school - a whole school full of them must be like Purgatory.  He burst out laughing.  "You think I'm kidding but some of those social princesses are as tough as some drug lords.  Believe me, I stayed well clear of the big bullies.  I liked my nice, quiet spot of doom in the middle of nowhere, thank you."  Mark 'ooohed' and kissed her again, earning a hand on his shoulder and a forceful shove back into his chair.  Xander looked at him, earning a scowl.  "Sorry."

"Behave.  There are worse schools.  You could have gone to one in the middle of the ghetto," Goemon reminded him.  This one lied very well.

"Very true," Xander agreed.  "Fortunately, small town girl, we didn't have any gangs.  Official ones, but everyone kept saying we had some.  Something about a PCP gang or something."  She shrugged.  "That's why my daddy sent me to private school.  He was worried I'd take up with the wrong sort of boy and he didn't believe in divorce."

Mark beamed at her.  "I can understand that.  Divorce is hard on a soul.  My Ma did it and I still don't like her decision to this day.  But she was an adult and so was I so I had to let it go sometime."  He shifted closer.  "I promise, I won't kiss her again."

"See that you do not."  He went back to his seat, sharpening his blade now.

"Is he for real?" he hissed.

"Yes.  I've seen him cut stones with that thing."

"Ooh.  Fun."  Mark stood up.  "Come on, let's stroll now.  I'll hold you up and all that stuff.  Aroma therapy is supposed to be helpful for things like that.  Don't you Californians all go for that?"

"I like it for relaxing and meditation, some memory work but not for much else.  I'm a bigger believer in the healing hands techniques."  Mark gave him an interested look.  "Massage, pressure point therapy, things like that."

"Sounds like fun.  Is it hard to learn?"

"No, but I'm nowhere near an expert; I can only work on my own leg cramps when I run."  Xander strolled with him around the garden, pointing out his favorite spots to sit and read when he had time to read outside.  "I really like hiding behind the big blue and red rose bush.  It's got a wonderful nook on the other side that's just right for a single person to curl up with a pillow and a book."  She stroked his arm, learning this art slowly.  He smiled at her.  "What are you going to do once you graduate?"

"I planned on working for the ICPO.  They desperately need good people.  The hours aren't hard and it's a pretty easy job.  Most of the guys don't even know how to email and those that do complain because they don't know how this system works."

"I'm only used to web-based," Xander admitted.  "I think it's safer, less risk of viruses and those nasty things."

"Your friend teach you that?"  Xander nodded.  "Good on her.  It is safer.  As long as you're not using Outlook or something like that.  Then it can get nasty because the messages are saved down anyway."  He gave her arm a squeeze.  "You doing okay?  There's a bench ahead."

"I'm fine.  I think I can make it to the pond."  He looked inquisitive so she led him that way. "This is my favorite calm place in the whole garden.  It makes just enough noise to break the silence but not enough to be annoying or white noise.  Plus, the fishes like me."  She sat down on the bank, curling her legs up.  "See."  He pointed at a fish that was coming toward them.  "He likes me.  I feed him a lot of stale bread."

"I bet."  He tickled the water with his fingers, sending the fish away.  "How long has this been here?  I've never seen it."

"I'm not sure.  You'd have to ask my guardians."  She glanced at him, noticing he was staring at her. No wonder she felt so odd. What was with the tingly sensation all of a sudden?  She smiled back and he grinned brighter, leaning over to kiss her.  She pulled back and glanced behind them at their chaperone, who was still watching them.  This gave Goemon direct line of sight to their position.  She wasn't going anywhere with him.  Not without an escort.  "I heard there was a reception the other day for some inspector. Did you get to go?"

"I didn't.  I was supposed to but a computer glitch at the headquarters came up suddenly."  He reached over to cup her cheek, stroking it with his thumb.  "You are so pretty."  The cheek heated up with a very hot blush.  "Plus very modest."  He sat beside her, properly distanced but nearly touching her knee.

"That's the fault of going to an all-girls school," Xander admitted.  "I had some very strict monitors there."

He grinned. "I like that idea even better."  He leaned in again, giving her a light kiss.  "You're definitely the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.   A little odd, but that makes you all the more special to me."  A cleared throat heralded their chaperone arriving to stop them.  "Sorry, sir, won't happen again."

"The next time it does, I shall throw you over the wall."

"Fine, yes, sir," Mark said respectfully.  He grinned at her, getting a shy look back.  "He really is protective."

"My dad said that certain things must be kept as they were when I was found.  After all, I'm staying with some very sexy and dangerous men.  Most of their friends are as well.  The only female in the house keeps lecturing me about being a lady and the guys like to treat me like a dressup doll."  Mark laughed and Goemon gave him another look.  "It's okay though.  I really like it here.  It's much better for me than Cali was.  That place nearly ruined me forever but I've found a new definition of myself here and I like this new me."  She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.  "Speaking of, would you like some lemonade?  I think I made some earlier."

"Sure thing.  Let me help you up."  He stood up and helped her to her feet, tucking her back under his arm to help her back to the house.  He looked at the bookish guy in the kitchen.  "Hello.  You're not what I expected to be living in an internationally known thief's house."

"Marcus, this is Mark.  Marcus is one kick-ass researcher," she told him.  "Whenever I get stuck he's very patient with me."

"Well, then you've got to be a nice guy at least," Mark said, holding out a hand.

"I try very hard most days," Marcus said, shaking it.  "Where in the Empire are you from?"

"Canberra.  You?"

"A small town up by Stonehenge.  Xan, the lemonade is still in the refrigerator.  Want me to pull down some glasses?"

"Please, that way I don't have to stretch."  She got free, walking over to grab the pitcher of lemonade.  "Get Goemon a glass too," he ordered.

"Sure thing.  It is getting warmer outside.  Did you need stuff to feed the fish?"

"Maybe later tonight. Most of the little things are nocturnal."  She let Mark carry out the tray of glasses while she carried out the pitcher.  "Here we are.  Thanks, Marcus."

"You're welcome, Xan."  He watched from the window, seeing how Xander had found her ground for flirting.  That shy stuff worked so much better for girls than guys.  He looked behind him when he heard someone coming in.  "Hey, Jigen.  She's doing what the boss wanted."

"Whatever," he said sourly.  "Did they take all the lemonade?"  Marcus nodded and handed him a glass from the dishwasher.  "Thanks."  He walked out, tapping Xander on the back.  "Me too."

"Sure."  Xander grinned at him as he poured some of the tart liquid for him too.  "Are you two switching out?"

"Nah, I'm tired of being on the range."  He walked inside, going back to the security monitors. This boy needed to be watched closer.  Lupin was enjoying this much too much.

"Range?"

"We've got a weapons range in the house.  I've been doing much better in there too recently."

"Wow, you really are accomplished," Mark said, taking a new look at her.  "A little thing like you shoots guns?"

"Barely," she said innocently.  "It's another important part of my self defense plan.  My bodyguards carry them and I want to be able to use them in case I need to and they die or get really hurt."  She blinked again.  "If I had been able to, I wouldn't have been kidnaped."

"Wow.  You're really complex.  Next you'll tell me you like watching Nickelodeon."

"No, I'm more into anime," Xander admitted with a grin.  "Some of it's amazing.  That's why I'm learning Japanese; so I don't have to worry about subtitles, dubbing, and all that stuff.  It'll just be me and the art."

"Double wow."  He grinned at her.  "Maybe you're too smart for me."

Xander chuckled lightly, taking a sip of her drink.  "You'd never know that by looking at my grades."  She licked her lips off to catch a stray drop of moisture.  Lipstick, yuck!  Couldn't they flavor that stuff?  Fortunately, the lemonade killed the aftertaste so he took another drink. "I did better with this than I thought.  I'm not the most culinary person."

"It is good," Mark agreed, glancing at the chaperone.  He was staring again.  "Are you going to the charity polo match next week?" he asked between sips.

"Not that I know of.  Is polo hard?  I've never ridden."

Mark grinned, that was quite a line.  Definitely a virgin.  "Sometimes you get saddle sore but it's a fun and fast-paced sport.  It's all legs and mallets.  You get sweaty and dirty but you play because you love the game and the horses.  I could take you riding if you wanted."  Xander blushed again.  Ah, she got that inuendo.  Good.

"I'm not sure I'd be allowed.  Like I said, I have to go home soon."  She blushed harder.  God, what a come on.  He'd have to remember that line.  "I heard horses smell funny.  Kind of musty and hairy."

"Well, yeah, but it's a nice smell.  Warm and comforting in many ways.   The love of horses has almost been bred into the human race since we've ridden them for so long.  My Da keeps a few at his ranch.  It's not a working ranch, more of a bit of tumbleweeds and a big house.  It's nice to go riding around though.  There's some pretty country near the edge of the desert.  But you'd know that, right?  Isn't LA near Death Valley?"

"As a matter of fact, it is.  My town was on the edges of it.  I could go about an hour away and find nothing but sand."  Mark smiled at that.  "It was always nice there at night.  Very peaceful.  You never had to worry about things sneaking up on you."

"No coyotes?"

"Not where I lived.  I think the gang of PCP people ran them off whenever they showed up.  They could be mean like that.  No respect for life at all."  Mark nodded, understanding that.  "What does your dad do beside ride around looking at the scenery?"

"He's a programmer, like I am.  I get it from him.  From Mom I seem to get my mouth and my hair."  Xander chuckled and shook her head.  "I do.  It's nearly exactly like hers only I don't have it styled each week into a bouffant."  He grinned.  "I'd look kind of silly."

"You would," she agreed, smirking at him.  She watched him swallow and took another long drink of her lemonade.  He shifted, giving out a very soft moan.  She finished the glass and put it down.  "When were you leaving?"

"The day after the game.  I managed to get it pushed back a bit, but not too much longer or else I'll miss my first day.  Fortunately I don't have to move into the dorms this time, but I still don't want to miss my first week."  He gulped his lemonade, watching her watch him.  "Why did you put your hair up?"

"It was getting in my way this morning.  I've thought about cutting it a great number of times but my dad gets upset.  I think he likes my hair," she shared, leaning closer.  He took the prompt, kissing her hard.  He even pulled her closer to get her lips.  Goemon had to pull him off so he could throw him out.  "Wow."  Xander sat there, stunned.  "Shit."   He heard laughter and looked toward the house.  "Did I do that?  How?"

"By being yourself," Lupin said from the doorway.  "Gangs on PCP?"

"That's what Sunnydale called the vampire problem."  He poured some more lemonade.  "Come sit.  I don't understand that at all.  I blushed, I was shy, and it turned him on?"

"It did.  Shy women are loved the world over because you can get them dirty," Lupin said as he came out to sit with him.  "The more innocent, the more rare and precious.  The more precious, the more people want it.  Remember that."  Xander nodded, sipping her drink.  "You've never been riding?"  Xander shook her head.  "Why not?"

"No horses in town and I grew up in lower class splendor."

"Ah.  We can fix that if you wanted to try a horse out."

"I hear they're really big, I'd hate to do that for my first time," Xander said.  Lupin burst out laughing, shaking his head. "Should I just be myself next time?  Mark's got to be in pain by now."

"No, Goemon was gentle when he tossed him out the front door.  I think he landed on his head."  He smirked as Jigen joined them.  "Well.  Do you think she passed?"

"I do," he said sourly, taking more of the lemonade for himself.  He went back inside.

Xander stood up.  "Excuse me."  He jogged after him, finding him in the range.  "Jigen.  Why are you upset?"  She locked them in, making him face her.  "What?  Did I do something really wrong?  Did my mouth get in my way?  What?"

"It's nothing, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed."

Xander looked at him and got a sudden flash, making her grab her forehead.  "Ow. I hate those."  She looked up again, grabbing his arm.  "No, don't go.  You're the only calm one in the house that I don't get bleed-off from."  She leaned against his side, forcing herself to calm down.  "Better," she said finally, pulling back.  She smiled at him.  "How long before those end?"

"You don't want that gift?"

"I hate that gift.  I know I've got thoughts that are private that I want to stay that way, I figure others have some too."  Jigen snorted but he was smirking at him.  "Now, what did I do wrong?"  He lost the smirk.  "What?  I'm sorry about the father cracks.  It was the only way I could lie convincingly."

"It wasn't that.  I knew damn well you were lying through some of it."  He gave her a pat on the shoulder, refusing to let his hand move any farther up her body.  "I'm tired, it's time for my nap."

"If you're saying you're old, you're not that old."

"I am that old."

"And I'm the Easter Bunny."  He looked up.  "I'm not going to change into that, right?"

"You'd better not.  That's supposed to be a hard job," Jigen joked.  He was desperately trying to find his mental footing.  He was skidding fast. "Xander, maybe you should go outside to accept your criticisms?"

"Why?  I want to hear yours first.  Yours mean more to me."  Jigen nervously licked his lips.  "Oh, God, you're jealous? Of Mr. Brains?"  He backed away, shaking his head.  "That wasn't me, Jigen.  We both know that."  She crossed her arms, getting in his way.  "We both know that wasn't me.  I don't want that to be me most of the time either.  I'd rather be myself."  Jigen gave him a look.  "No, I'm not moving.  We'll be talking now.  Then I'll move.  Unless you're going to wing me and then move my heavy ass."

"You're not heavy, kid."

"And again with the kid."  Xander rolled her eyes.  "I'm nearly thirty, Jigen."

"I went past that mark a long time ago.  You are a kid to me."

"I'm a kid to many people if only because I like legos."  Jigen looked confused.  "See, not who you thought I was, huh?"  She turned and stormed out, going to lock herself in her room.  She also put a chair underneath the doorknob so none of the people who could pick locks could come in until she was ready to see them.  She took off everything and went to sulk in the bathtub.  Water always made her feel better.  Maybe she'd go swim in the pond later.  She heard someone knocking but ignored them.  The doorknob rattled, so it was someone who could pick locks.  Then it got kicked in.  Xander reached over and slammed the bathroom door in whoever's face.  He didn't want to deal with people yet.  He closed the curtain around the bathtub as well, a clear sign that he didn't want to be bothered.  It opened and Jigen glared down at him.  "Out."

"No.  You wanted to talk."

"Yeah, and you didn't," Xander reminded him.  "Therefore I gave up."  He slid down some more.  "Don't make me hide somewhere less obvious."

"Fine.  Be a brat."

"I am not a fucking brat!" Xander said, standing up so he could glare at him.  "I've never been a fucking brat!  I never had the time or the inclination to be a fucking brat!  Nor did I have the influence to be a brat.  I dated a brat, or two.  I nearly married one of them.  I know what brats are and I am not one.  So you'd better take that back before I hit you."

Jigen looked at him.  "You, hit me?"

"Yes, me, hit you."  He gave him a shove, getting out of the water.  "You deserve it for that comment.  I did what you fucking well wanted me to do, knowing full well that something would go ass-backwards.  Now that it has, I'm not being blamed for this.  I did what you wanted me to do."  He poked him on the chest.  "Turning me back into a girl was not my idea.  I've been against it all along."  Another poke.  Jigen captured his finger and squeezed.  "Break it, I can get you while you sleep.  That's the beauty of never sleeping."  Jigen backed away from him.  "I will not be blamed for doing what I was told to do.  If you want to blame someone, then go down the fucking hall, down the damn stairs and outside.  You can take your jealous ass out of my room anytime now before I leave it."  Jigen took another step back.  Xander slammed the bathroom door in his face and got back into his bath, closing the curtains again.  "I hate men."  He groaned.  "Never mind, I only hate some men."  He got out again, going out to his closet.  There was no one around.  He put on his favorite outfit and shoes, then snuck out the window.  All that training was really paying off.  It wasn't that far from the house to town and he had his purse on him.  He could easily go dancing somewhere in Paris until he cooled down.

***

Jigen stomped outside.  "Why am I to blame for this?"

Lupin groaned.  "Because you're a jealous asshole," he pointed out.  "Did you two have a fight?"  Jigen nodded, starting to pace.  "Quit.  You'll only want to smoke again and you know you can't."  He stood up. "Let me talk to him.  He'll listen to reason."  Jigen snorted.  "He will"

"He won't.  He slammed a door in my face.  Me!  He listens to me.  And now we've broken it totally.  Thanks a lot, Lupin."  He walked off.

"Jigen, wait," Lupin called, walking over to stop him.  He turned him around.  "Xander's confused. He's miserable right now.  I realize that.  I was going to force David to let him free tonight.  Go upstairs and bring him down to my office.  Removing the choker should get him free of most of the confusing and contradicting emotions."

"You mean like your grand plan to have someone who flirts around here?" he asked bitterly.  "Couldn't you just teach him in bed?"

"This wasn't for me.  This was for himself.  It's for his future skills."  Jigen glared at him and walked off, heading for the pond.  "Fine, I'll get him.  I'll lock you two in a closet later," he called after him.  He walked into the house, going up to Xander's room.  He would be easier to find.  He found the door kicked in.  The bathroom door was open.  Wet footprints led to the closet and the window was open.  "Shit!"  He hurried down the stairs.  "Jigen, he ran!" he shouted.  Jigen came running, meeting him at the car.  "Which way would he go?"

"Town.  He'll catch a train somewhere."  He got in, looking down the driveway. "He can't have gotten too far."

"He's an angry woman, he could be in town by now."  He took off down the driveway, heading down the main road toward town.  If they didn't find him by then, he'd leave Jigen at the train station and take the other road himself.  Which they had to do and they still couldn't find Xander.  By the time they got home it was after dark and Jigen was beyond livid.  Lupin was regretting being born.  Things were quickly going to hell today.  "Let's call the guys next door, maybe he headed over there."

"Yeah, to test out his riding skills."

"If you'd get off your bony ass and do something, maybe this wouldn't have had to happen."

"He's my student!  He's your sex toy."

Lupin glared at him.  "He is not a toy.  Nor will he ever be a toy," he said stiffly.  "And do not use that tone of voice with me."

Fujiko came out of the office.  "He's already in Paris.  He's used his credit card to buy a train ticket."  She looked at them.  "You're both idiots.  Now get over it."  She walked away, leaving them staring after her.

"It was your plan too," Jigen called after her.

"Because I knew you'd finally figure it out, Jigen.  Do the world a favor, get laid soon!"

"Bitch."

"Yay.  Try another one.  That was too well used," she called back.  She walked up the stairs, slamming her door.

"We were hoping you'd finally accept the kid.  He's the only one who's made you happy in years.  We know he's not going to turn on you."

"Yeah, well, he did, didn't he.  Great plan."  He walked away, heading for the kitchen.

Lupin sighed and went in to run a check on Xander's credit card.  He had checked into a hotel.  It was one in the middle of the club district.  So he was going to burn off some energy for the night.  Hopefully he'd be safe while he did it.  There wasn't any way for them to protect him all the way out there.  "Shit, he's like my own kid," he complained as he sat down, giving the computer a glare.  "This was a bad idea.  I'll admit it to him when we go wake him up in the morning.  Xander doesn't drink heavily but tonight I'm betting he'll make an exception."  He took a deep breath, thinking hard.  "If we leave at dawn, we can wake him up around ten.  He should still be there."  Someone tapped on the door.  "It had better be good."

Dawn walked a letter in and handed it over.  "Xander sent it.  It's notoriously thin."  She glared at him.  "What happened?"

"Dawn, leave.  Go to your room and stay there."  She gave him a look.  "I mean it."

"Fine.  Remember, Xander only gives one chance usually.  The last one he gave a second one too was Willow when he saved her fucking life."  She walked off, leaving him with the probable missive of doom.

Lupin opened it with his thumbnail, reading the short message.  "At least he'll be back sometime," he said bitterly, putting it onto the desk.  He went up to check the boy's room, finding his weapon.  "That was really dumb.  He's too well known to be without something."  He took it with him, going to present it to the teacher.  "It was under his pillow," he said when Jigen glared in his direction.  He handed it over.  "He sent a letter, he'll be back sometime this week."

"No, he won't.  Xander won't trust us ever again."

"He'll have to come back.  We've got his stuff and David's here.  His letter said he'd be back."

"That's something you taught him yourself, Lupin.  To leave a false trail."  Lupin slumped, shaking his head.  "I doubt he's coming back.  If he does, he'll try to sneak in to get stuff.  Or he'll walk in, go up to his room, pack and leave again."

"Then we'd better go find him.  He's in Paris, with Pops on the prowl for him, without a weapon in the city where the assassin's convention is going to be this year.  They're already getting there."

"And he's too well known," Marcus agreed from the doorway.  "Where is Xander?"

"Paris, somewhere.  Why?"

"Dawn's sister is on the phone and she's presently crying."  He handed over the cordless so Lupin could take it in the hall.  "When do we leave?" he asked Jigen.  Jigen looked at him.  "You can't even get into the clubs that Xander would head to.  He's got that small self- destructive urge which would mean he's probably in a vampire club right now."  Jigen groaned.  "So let's go and we'll see if we can find him before he gets turned.  I don't want to stake him."  Lupin hung up and they looked at him.  "Well?"

"They wanted Xander back to help with an apocalypse," he said bitterly.

"Knowing him, he'd rush back to help them," Marcus agreed.  "He has in the past."  Jigen nodded.  "What are they facing?"

"Something big and eating.  She didn't say more than that.  Get David and Dawn, send them to Cleveland to help her.  I said I'd send them and see if Xander wanted to go."  Marcus nodded, jogging off.  "He's right.  It's the only way to make sure he comes back.  If we go find him, we can get him to come back without too much fight.  He'll feel he owes us that much."

"I don't want to be owed."

"Neither do I, Jigen," Lupin said coldly.  "Let's go."

"Fine.  I'm drivin'."

"Fine."  They walked out together, getting Goemon so they wouldn't fight in the car.  He could smack them both silly if it got out of hand.

"You are both jealous.  It is pitiful," Goemon told them.  He climbed into the back.  "Had you been paying attention to the boy, you would have seen that he wanted free of this a few days back."

"He said so and I sent him to talk to Lupin," Jigen told him.  The car leapt at his command, going fast down the driveway.  "I figured he could force David to undo it."

"That was the night of the banshee and we never talked," Lupin told him.  Jigen nodded.  "Damn it.  It didn't just slip his mind."

"He probably thought other things were more important.  He sees himself as a weapon.  Something to be used.  Something to be ordered.  Not something to be respected.  He does not see himself as a gun, or even a bladed weapon.  He may simply see himself as a stake.  Formed for one purpose and then destroyed when the purpose is done with."  Jigen shuddered.  "Perhaps it would be better if he left."

"No, it wouldn't," Lupin said firmly.  "I don't see him as a weapon and especially not a lesser weapon."

"It is not how you see him.  It is the reflection he sees when he looks in the mirror.  The same as he once said he got confused first thing in the morning when he saw someone who was clearly not him in the mirror, now we have further confused him."

"Before he took a night and considered it then he was fine," Jigen told him.

"After a fundamental change?"

"I don't know," Jigen sighed.  "I don't have a clue anymore."

"Neither does he.  You've went from being the one who saved him, to one who has taught him and carved his body into what you wanted it to be, to one he desired, and once he found a balance against that desire, to one he could call friend.  Now you are confused and it is not helping him any."

"I fucking well know that, Goemon!"

"Then act like it," he said coldly.  "The boy should be returned to his natural state as soon as possible."

"We just had to send David to Cleveland to help with an apocalypse," Lupin told him.

"That may be your key then.  The boy will honor his friends when they cry for help."  Lupin looked back at him.  "How hard would it be?"

"It'd be dumb," Lupin told him.  "He isn't skilled enough to break us out of jail."

"We do not know that," Goemon reminded him.  "We have no idea what that boy can and cannot do."

Jigen sighed.  "True, but there's other considerations.  If we're caught, then the house becomes unsafe.  That leaves Fujiko and Marcus there alone without a way to escape."

"Not necessarily.  Who said anything about jail?" Goemon told him.  Lupin looked back at him again.  "There are many things that could trap us.  Including him thinking that we would go to help our students."

"How would he hear of it?" Lupin asked.

"A message at his hotel?"

"That would work," Lupin agreed.  "He'll be checking in again sometime."  He glanced at Jigen.  "He had a point, Xander can and will lay a false trail.  He's a hurt being right now."

"A hunted animal often goes to ground to hide, but it always has to come up for food and water," Goemon reminded him.  "He has a means of communication?" Lupin shook his head.   "Nothing?"

"He took whatever was in his purse," Lupin told him.  He looked at his watch but the hairband that had the locator was back at the house.  He looked back at Goemon.  "He left the house without a weapon."

"Then he has not learned the lessons he thinks he has."

"He was angry.  Even you've done stupid shit in anger, Goemon," Jigen reminded him coldly.

"I have, and then I learned my lessons better.  He needs better care."  Jigen glared back at him in the mirror.  "Pay attention to the road."

"Yes, sensei," Jigen said snidely.  "Got any other wise words?"

"Yes, I do."  He smirked at them. "I believe I know where the boy may be."  The car stopped and both men looked at him.  "What does Xander do when he's upset?"

"He eats chocolate and sulks in a bathtub," Lupin told him.

"Water. City pool?" Jigen asked.  Goemon shook his head. "You're not sure?"

"Xander is angry, he'll want to wear out that aggression at a distance from people.  Water probably.  Chocolate definitely.  He knows a grand total of seven stores in Paris, three hotels, and two chocolate makers.  Where would he head first?"

"If he checked into the hotel he charged on his card, he'd have to go looking for water.  It's got a tiny tub in the rooms," Lupin told him.  "Pull off the side of the road, Jigen.  Ten minutes won't make much difference and I don't want to be hit today."  The car was pulled off the side of the road and turned off again.  "Okay, so if he's not staying there, then he doesn't know many places.  He does know how to use a phone book. Jigen, what other names does he routinely use?"

"Lavelle mostly.  Lavelle something.  He might have used Xander since no one knows it's him."  He put his head on the steering wheel.  "How many hotels in Paris have good pools?  Or even pools at all?"

"Fifteen I think," Lupin admitted. "Only one that he knows about."  He laid his head back on the headrest.  "This really does suck."

"It does," Goemon agreed.  "Let us hope he has become rational already.  What was he wearing?"

"I didn't look in his closet," Lupin admitted.  He pulled out his phone, calling the house.  "It's us.  What's missing from Xander's closet?  Yes, now, Fujiko.  You can bring your sandwich with you."  He closed his eyes, covering them.  "Why did I think passing on our skills would be good for the world?"

Jigen glared at him.  "Don't try to blame that one on me."

"Enough.  You sound like children again."  He took the phone, listening to his wife chew.  "Is the baby hungry again?"  She said something smart but he let it go.  She was looking in the closet.  "He got out of his bath and put something on, then climbed out a window."  He nodded, hanging up.  "He's wearing either the green dress no one liked or the black one she said he liked on first sight and begged to buy.   His black pumps were also missing, she said they were the ones that buckled."

"All right.  So he's dressed up.  He could have dyed his hair by now, but not his clothes.  What would he be doing first?"

"Either going for chocolate, going to the water, or doing something stupid," Jigen told him.  "Take your pick."

"Have you ever seen the boy that mad?" Goemon asked gently.  Jigen nodded.  "What did he do then?"

"He got pissed and passed out.  It took him nearly a fifth by himself to do it, but he managed it in about an hour."  Lupin winced.  "Does he know where the liquor store is?"

"If he can find a cab, he can find it," Goemon reminded him.  "Let us focus on the possible courses of action.  Then we can figure out which one he might have went to first.  Do you remember the name of the hotel?"  Lupin nodded.  "Call it."  He leaned back.  "Perhaps they could aid us somehow."

Lupin dialed information.  "I need to be connected with the Hyatt in Paris.  Yes, that one."  He covered his eyes again, he was getting a throbbing headache.  "Hello.  My daughter just ran away during an argument.  No, she's over eighteen.  I wanted to see if she was there so I could come talk to her.  I don't know.  She's got a few names she'll answer to.  Try Alexandra Harris?"  He uncovered his eyes, sitting up.  "She is?"  He nodded at Jigen.  "Black dress?  Fit body, longer hair?"  He nodded, happier now.  "No, that's fine.  Yes, she's over age, I simply wanted to come talk to her on neutral territory.  Thank you.  No, I'll be there in about an hour and a half.  Thank you again."  He hung up.  "We need to go there, she's in the bar."  Jigen started the car and pulled back onto the road, zipping off.  "Thank you, Goemon."

"I live to make you see clearly," he said dryly.  "When we get back, the boy will be mine to work on his temper until David comes back."

"Sure," Jigen agreed.  "If he comes back."

"When.  Saying if defeats the purpose of this trip."

"I don't make decisions for the kid."

"Don't you?"

"Not any more," Lupin told him.  "I swear it.  The boy is able to make his own decisions.  He can handle most anything we throw his way.  He's a full grown man who happens to have a few last touches of childhood delight and I'm going to let him know that I fucking well appreciate having him around."

"According to Dawn, he performed as a buffer in his last group as well," Goemon said quietly.  "He will be coming with us?"

"From now on, as long as he wants to," Lupin agreed.  "Him and Marcus.  I doubt we'll be getting David back.  Dawn we might get back for a while unless Pops is following her."  He looked back.  "What's your take on that situation?"

"He finds her intriguing I believe.  She is an unknown to him.  She has challenged his preconceived notions.  Either he loathes her for that, he wants to know more because he is intrigued, or a combination of both of those.  I would bet on the last."

Lupin nodded.  "I was thinking the same thing.  She said she doesn't kill and that confused him.  So did Xander but I think he was more outraged for him than by him.  Dawn stood up to him and outraged him personally by putting that thing on his head."

"She does need to learn control," Goemon said sadly.  "I will miss beating it into her head."  Jigen nodded. "Will David be going back with his father?  I know he was writing him again."

"He was?" Jigen asked.

"A few short emails."  Goemon held on as they turned a corner too sharply.  "Please do not get us killed.  I would appreciate my sword going to my son."

"Is it a son?" Lupin asked, grinning back at him.

"We cannot know for another two months at least."  He relaxed again, Jigen had slowed down since they had encountered traffic.  "It is days like today when I wish we could teleport like they did on that show."

"That would be nice," Lupin agreed, understanding that comment.  Jigen glanced at him.  "Xander's made him watch Star Trek with him."

"Crap."

"Only some of them, but it was the early days of television," Goemon reminded him dryly.  Jigen snorted and shook his head, changing lanes.  "I still do not wish to die today from an accident."

"I'm bein' careful.  Shut up and quit nagging."

***

Xander looked up as another person came up to sit beside him on the empty stool.  This would make number ten he had driven off.  "Yes?" he asked impatiently.

"Scotch, single cube," the man beside him ordered in a familiar voice.

Xander looked at him, already far on the path to drunken stupor.  "Oh, gee, you made it," he said bitterly.  "Why?"

"I think that's your favorite question," Jigen said fondly, giving him a little smile. "Table?"  Xander shook his head.  "I'd appreciate the privacy. Let's take this to a table so we can fight without help."  Xander continued to look at him.  "Please."

"I think that's the first time I've heard that word out of your mouth."

"Am I usually that bad?"

Xander shook his head.  "Not usually."  He waved for another drink and the bartender looked at him. "I've got a room here already."  It was handed to him and his card was charged for another one.  Jigen put down enough money for both, then took both drinks with him.  Xander glared at his back, stumbling after him.  "Stupid fucking heels.  Damn girl shoes."  He sat across from him.  "That was mean."

"No, mean was making me worry.  You didn't take a weapon, Xander."  Xander shrugged.  "The convention is being held here next month.  They're already starting to gather and you're well known enough to have garnered interest.  Lupin looked, you've already got a bounty on your head."  Xander shrugged again.  "You don't care?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do care."  Xander snorted, sipping his drink.  Jigen took it from him, taking that hand to hold instead, then both of them when the free one swatted at him.  "I do care," he repeated once he had his flagging attention. "We were wrong to force you to go through with this.  We agreed on that.  As soon as we can get David and your neck together, we'll have him take the thing off you."

"You didn't bring him?  I figured you'd want to keep the stupid thing."

"We want you, not it."  Xander snorted again, trying to pull his hands away.  "Xander, please," he said quietly.  "I wanted to apologize.  You're right, I was jealous."

"Feel better?"

"Some.  You?"

"No.  Surprisingly not."  He stood up.  "Let's go somewhere we can yell and scream."  He downed both drinks, heading out to the elevators.  He tapped the man with the paper, making Lupin look up at him.  "You might as well get into it with us too."

"No, I'll wait until you're sober to apologize.  That way you can't forget.  We're in the sultan's suite, Jigen."  He nodded, taking Xander up to his room.  Lupin went back to his reading and watching the assassin who had been watching Xander.  Very interesting.

***

Xander let Jigen into his room.  "'Scuse the mess, I threw a hissy."

"I've seen worse from you."  Jigen locked the door, including the flip latch at the top of the frame.  He walked in and sat in the chair, looking at Xander.  "Go ahead."

Xander looked confused.  "You're not going to yell?"

"I might.  Only because you didn't leave a note about leaving.  You didn't take a weapon.  I thought for sure you wanted to die."  Xander shook his head, sitting on the bed.  "Are you sure?"  Xander nodded, blinking at him.  "Then I will remind you tomorrow that your weapons go with you wherever you go.  Otherwise you were right to bitch me out."

Xander looked really confused now.  "You were worried?"

"I was worried sick.  Lupin and I nearly got into a brawl over you, but you're an adult with the right to choose who you want to be around.  No one's keeping you in slavery."

"You're letting me go?" Xander asked, starting to sniffle.

"No, we're saying you can take a vacation but you damn well better come back, Xander."  Xander looked up at him again.  "Come here."  Xander shook his head.  "I was going to wipe off the mascara.  You're giving yourself black eyes."  Xander came closer, letting him clean off the mascara tracks.  "I'm sorry I convinced you to go through with this."

"It was good for me but I hate it," he said softly, looking down at him.  Jigen pulled him down into his lap, startling him.  "You hate me."

"I never said I hated you."

"You act like it.  You act like I'm trash now."

Jigen shook his head.  "I don't mean to, Xander. You're a lot stronger than most people I know.  Most people would have gone insane being trapped in that body."  Xander sniffled again. "Don't do that," he complained.  "I can't take a crying woman."

"I'm not a woman."

"I know, Xander.  Even though you look like one, you're not a woman."  He got him standing up and helped him into the bathroom to clean his face off.  That was much better. He led Xander back to the bedroom and laid her down on the bed, taking off the shoes for her.  "There, how's that?"

"Nice.  But you still don't like me like that."

"You'd be surprised," Jigen said bitterly, sitting beside him.  Xander scooted closer slowly, giving him a chance to move.  "Come on.  As long as you're not hitting me I don't care.  We've talked curled together before."

"It was all those rooms with the single bed," Xander said with a grin.  "That and you're always warm."  He put his head on the offered shoulder.  "I'm sorry I ran.  I was so angry."

"I know you were.  My own moment of bitchiness didn't help any."  He stroked the soft hair.  "You took it down."

"It itched.  I still think I look funny with this much hair."

"A little but it is distinctive."

"Like your hat?"

"Definitely like my hat."  He gave him another pet.  "Are you calmer now?"  Xander nodded.  "Sober enough to talk?"

"I have been.  I've only had five.  Six," he corrected. "I drank yours."

"True, you did."  He lifted Xander's chin up.  "Xander, we're both very sorry.  Lupin and I had a good fight with each other over you."

"Why?"

"Because we were angry with each other over how we seem to have been treating you," he said patiently.  "Do you like him that much?"

Xander shrugged.  "We're buddies who occasionally sleep together.  Nothing more.  He listens but he doesn't really understand.  You can't really understand until you've lived my life, like how you told me I was romanticizing yours and I would until I lived it for a month."  Jigen nodded, remembering that. "Until you've faced down something that sucks souls, you can't really know what it's like to fear being eaten."

"Speaking of, Buffy called for you."  Xander lifted his head again, frowning.  "That's why we didn't bring David."

"Fine."  He put his head down again.  "What is she angsting about?"

"Something big that eats others.  That's all she said.  Dawn started to cry, we sent her and David to them."

"Then we should probably stop them at the airport and make him take this off.  If Buffy called for me, then she's already called LA for help and his dad will be there.  He'll either run away or go back with him."

"We're going to make sure he takes that thing off you.  I miss you being yourself."  Xander grinned, picking at a button on his shirt.  "Are we okay again?"

"I guess."  Xander looked up.  "What about your crush thing?"

"Crush thing?" Jigen asked, looking amused.  "Use the Queen's English, Xan."

"All right," he said, adopting Marcus' accent.  "I have noticed that your jealous state seems to revolve around my nether regions while I am stuck in this form.  Being that that is the case, what do you have planned in an action and consequence sense on that matter?"

Jigen snickered, shaking his head.  "I'm still ignoring it.  You need someone who can be there all the time, not someone who can't go near you when you're male."

"Good point," Xander agreed.  He sat up, looking at him.  "It still sucks for you.  I remember that state very well."  Jigen gave him a tolerant look so Xander moved his hat back.  "There, that's easier for us to talk.  What are you planning?"

"I'm planning on ignoring it forever."

"You can't do that.  It'll make your head go funny again and we'll end up yelling at each other again." Jigen shook his head.  "It will.  It's been three weeks and we've already yelled at each other because of the job.  If I'm going to be doing this more often then you're going to get hit worse."

"Good point," Jigen agreed, pulling him closer again.  "I don't know, I haven't thought about it.  Like I said, I know you're a man.  It's not my thing."

"Good point," Xander sighed, resting on his shoulder again.  "What's the boss doing?"

"Probably planning on taking out that assassin who was watching you in the bar."

"Hmm.  Interesting."  Xander slid his body over Jigen's, laying on top of him.  "I still say that you suck sometimes."

"I do sometimes," Jigen agreed. "I'm human."

"Which is a nice change in my life, you gotta admit," Xander said with an impish grin.  He looked around.  "Any cameras?"

"Not that I know of."  Jigen found himself kissed.  "What did you do that for?"

"Because I've been denying myself that urge for almost two years," Xander reminded him.  "At least this way I can do that."  Jigen looked stunned.  "See, I can plan things.  I didn't plan it very well, but I can plan things," he admitted dryly.  "I've wanted to do that for so long, since you looked at me and saw more than a hurt little boy with a few basic skills.  This has been my opportunity."

"Our second day trapped in that motel?"

"Pretty muchly, yeah," Xander admitted.  "You were hurt and I was being myself by taking care of you. Then you actually asked me what I was doing."  He grinned.  "You asked me who I was.  You asked my opinion.  That's the thing that got me I think."  He shrugged.  "I'm shallow that way.  You were more than handsome enough and you wanted to talk to me, not at me.  That's all I needed."

"That's not shallow, that's where most people set their bottom limit to date someone else."  He touched the pale hair.  "You were almost married?"

"I nearly married Anya.  I walked away the night before the ceremony because something had shown me what our lives would have been like. I looked really bad.  I had a beer gut. I was miserable.  I was basically my father."

"Did you wake up screaming in horror?"

"Nearly."  Xander grinned self-consciously.  "I ended up leaving her at the altar.  It didn't exactly make her a happy little former vengeance demon.  It gave her back her powers, but we were really awkward until she gave them up again. She blamed me for making her have a conscience and think about her job; she couldn't do it anymore.  She continued to blame me until she died and was allowed to ascend to a higher position in the hierarchy.  Now she gets to annoy people all the time and she's having fun again."  She laid back down again.  "She died, Cordy ascended to a higher plane.  Buffy's a bitch.  Willow's dead.  Ampata's locked up again.  Everyone I've ever loved seems to have moved on."

"Ampata?"

"Incan mummy girl.  I thought you read the book."

"I did, but I didn't remember the name."  He gave him a little pinch.  "Wasn't she the one who kissed you and made you age?"

"Yeah, I saved Buffy from being taken by her. She loved me enough to give it up for me."  He sighed.  "I hate my former life."

Jigen laughed.  "What about now?"

"Now, I like my life.  I'm doing some good things, in a bad way but they're still good things.  We take the annoying and really bad criminals off the stage and make them sorry.  I like doing that."  He looked up.  "I like this life."

"Good.  We're expecting you to come back to it, Xan."

"Really?"

"Really.  Lupin and I agreed, you get to make your own decisions from now on.  We'll treat you like the adult you are, even though you do play with legos in your room at night."  Xander grinned and yawned.  "Tired?"

"Still a little drunk.  But you're worth it."

"I'm worth being drunk over?"  Xander nodded.  "Thanks, I think."

Xander laughed.  "You're welcome.  You know what?"  Jigen shook his head.  "There's one person I miss from Sunnydale.  I miss the way things were, but you can't go back.  Buffy went through her needy stage and then decided she didn't need me.  Willow went evil and tried to end the world, then came back and went supposedly good again.  The only person I miss is Oz.  Oz was the essence of cool.  He'd be like, 'you shoot people. Okay'."  He grinned, playing with the button again.  "He'd ask if it paid well, if I was happy, then shrug it off because I wouldn't be hurting him.  I miss him."

"He sounds nice.  Where is he now, do you know?"  Xander shook his head.  "Not at all?"

"Not at all.  Oz left to go back to Tibet to learn how to control his inner wolf.  I guess it was really hard to get gigs with the band when you wolf out three days a month."  He looked up, seeing the shocked look.  "Yes, they exist too."

"I figured they did, there are too many legends for them not to if vampires do."  Jigen shook his head.  "Ever hear the of the Beatles?"

"The Beatles or the Beagles?"

"The Beagles?"

"They were one of those crappy cover band bands in Sunnydale," he said dryly.  "Played up and down the coast.  They played a lot of dances."  He sat up again, looking down at his mentor.  "Yeah, I've heard of them.  I've got most of their music back in my room.  Why?"

"Listen to 'Places I Remember' when we get back.  It'll make you feel better."  He stroked the bare arm.  "You're chilly."

"A little but I'm good."

"Yes, you are, Xander."

"Good?  Me?"  Xander snorted.  "Better than average but I'm still not a good yet.  Maybe a C-plus right now."

Jigen shook his head.  "Your skills are better than that, kid.  You're a B at least."  That got an embarrassed giggle and blush.  "Those were real?"

"Yes!  I'm easily embarrassed by people who tell me stuff like that to be nice."  He pinched him.  "So quit."

"I wasn't doing it to be nice, Xander, it's the truth.  You've got the skills and the ability to use them without needing much thought.  You're better than probably eighty percent of the people who are going to be coming in for the convention next month."  Xander grimaced.  "I'm not saying that to be nice.  You can ask Goemon if you don't believe me."

"The last I heard, I was still in the bottom of the top pack."

"You've learned how to wound since then and you've figured out how and when to do so.  That got you past that obstacle.  You're nearly as good as me."  Xander blushed again.  "Now I know why Lupin wanted you to do this job instead of me.  You blush an awful lot, kid."

Xander pinched him again.  "Don't call me that.  I feel like you're my dad."  He pouted, flopping down onto his back so he could stare at the ceiling.  "I'm not that good yet.  I need a lot more practice in the field."

Jigen rolled over, pinning Xander down.  "You are.  I don't say things to be nice.  You know that."  He could see he wasn't getting through.  "Do we have to get Pops to say it for you to believe me?  He called you more dangerous than me the other day at a press conference.  Fujiko taped it if you want to watch it when we get home."  Xander looked at him, giving him this look of awe and wonderment, like he had just told him the secret to making pizza.  It was still Xander's favorite food and he considered a good pizza maker the right hand to God. "Really, he did.  He said you're more dangerous than I am.  He thinks you're more reckless, which I do agree with, but he said you're more dangerous."

"Wow."  Xander shook his head.  "I'll have to send him nice flowers for that.  Or something.  Maybe some liquor filled chocolates.  I'm sure we make him drink."

"We make Goemon drink so I wouldn't be surprised," Jigen agreed dryly.  Xander giggled.  "So you're at least a B.  Got it?" Xander nodded, still looking at him like he was God, or a great pizza maker.  He leaned down and kissed him gently, not expecting to be submitted to.  The boy went limp under him and started to make mewling noises.  "That's not what I expected to happen."

Xander tipped his chin up.  "Please?"

Jigen's self control, something that Lupin teased him about and other criminals saw as something special dissipated.  No one had ever *begged* him before to simply touch them.  He gave him another kiss, letting his hand move up the limp arm.  Xander was like putty in his hands, she was going to do whatever he said.  He pulled back, looking down at him.  "What are you doing?"

"This is me, Jigen.  I'm a very confirmed bottom and slightly slutty.  I like being on my back.  It's my favorite position, quickly followed by being on my stomach."  Jigen groaned and shook his head so Xander lunged up, locking lips with him again.  Jigen moaned and lowered himself onto her.  Xander moaned and broke the kiss to pant and lift his chin again.  "Please?"

Jigen licked down it, then did a small test bite.  Xander arched up into him, starting to make nonsense noises.  "You are submissive."

"Only in bed," Xander panted.  "Damn pantyhose," he said, trying to wiggle out of them.  "Should have listened, went with stockings."

Jigen pulled back, sitting up so he could help her out of them.  They had been very tight and damp.  He tossed them over his shoulder, going back to his kissing.  Xander was making a lot of noise so he silenced him with a real kiss again, quickly going back to the tempting neck.  He bit down harder, intending to leave a small mark, and Xander came off the bed, shivering underneath him.  "Wow."  Jigen moved lower, sliding the strapless dress out of his way.  The tender breasts were exposed with a few deft finger movements underneath Xander's back.   One nearly hit him in the face so he played with that one first.

Xander moaned, arching that part up.  "I did not expect this to feel so good," he complained.  "I didn't want to like that."

"Shh," Jigen told him.  Xander pulled a pillow over his face but he removed it for him.  "No suffocation.  I don't play breathing games."

"Okay, no suffocation.  Remember I get noisy."

"This is a hotel, it's not like we'll be embarrassing the samurai."  He moved to the other side, teasing and playing with the tight nipple.  The boy had nice big nipples, making a tempting target.  He bit down on that one, earning another groan and push up into his mouth.  He moved a hand down under the bunched-up skirt, teasing the soft flesh there.  Xander lifted up, pulling the dress off over her head.  Then it was tossed aside.  Jigen saw the pale flesh, barely tanned but very fit.  He had seen it earlier but he had tried not to pay any attention to it.  The stomach was calling for him, so he went down to play with it.  Xander was very ticklish.

Xander arched up, swatting at the hand teasing him.  "No tickling.  I can't retaliate.  It's not fair."  He pulled Jigen back up, kissing him while his hands worked on the buttons of his shirt and his tie.  He finally got them off and pushed them off the thin arms, exposing the chest.  Jigen let him play, moaning when he hit anything remotely good to play with.  He pushed him onto his back, working on the stubborn belt.  When he finally got it undone, he pulled it free and tossed it onto the headboard.  "In case you want it," he said with a cheeky grin, undoing the pants.

"You like to be tied down?"

"I like to be held down," Xander corrected.  "But I'm willing to branch out for you."  The zipper got stuck for a moment so he had to tug really hard on it.  Finally it was free and so was his objective.  "I like this part," he said with an impish look, staring up as he went down on him.  Jigen shouted, holding his head down.  He let himself play, he really liked this art.

"Shit, Xan!" Jigen said hotly, taking him from his plaything.  "No more or I won't have enough energy left to do this."  He put the boy underneath him again, kissing back down his body.

"Oooh, lower?" Xander pleaded.

"I don't usually do that, Xander."

"Please!  Just so I know?"

"Fine.  For a minute."  He went down below, moving the light purple panties out of his way.  They were sopping and Xander did taste good.  She was definitely a woman down here.  He got involved, feeling around as he licked gently.  Xander stiffened above him, starting to chant his name.  "Hush," he warned, sliding a finger inside.

"Please, please, pleaseohpleaseohplease!" Xander pleaded.  "Just a little more!"  Jigen gave him what he wanted, sending him over.  "Yes!"  He panted and wiggled, urging him to do more with whatever body part he wanted.

Jigen looked up at him.  "I've never had someone so responsive, especially not a virgin."

"So different," Xander panted.  "Feels great, but still different.  Liking it though.  Please, more."  He clawed at the tense shoulders, urging him to play to his heart's content.  His clit was found by a thumb and he lost his mind.  This was the point of being a woman, he got it now.  "I get it now," he shouted.  "This is why the choker came to me!"

Jigen growled, moving up to kiss him.  "It came to you because you draw trouble."

"Like you?"

"Like me," he agreed dryly.  He continued to play a finger in and out of the tight body.  The hymen was intact so he stopped to tease it, making Xander close her eyes and whimper.  "Are you ready?"

"Fuck yes!  Don't make me pounce you!"

Jigen laughed, slowly sliding into her tight heat, breaching the thin barrier.  Xander keened but pulled him tighter with his heels and hands, latching onto his mouth again.  "Gotta breathe, Xan," he said when he pulled back.  He tried to give her some time to adjust but she was rabid.  She was wiggling and doing it herself.  He pulled back and thrust in harder than he had intended, the heels kicking at his rear was making it hard for him to have control.  "Stop wiggling!"  He pulled the girl's arms up over her head, holding them there with one hand.  She arched her bottom half up, urging him to do more. Her eyes were closed.  "Look at me."

Xander opened her eyes, panting up at him.  "Please?" she whispered.  "Just one more?  Just a little more!"

Jigen moved, slower this time.  She was going to be insane by the time he was done.  It was a heady experience to have someone want you that much. He slowly got harder and faster, but it wasn't enough for her.  Xander wanted more now.  She wiggled free and knocked him onto his back, taking control of the action.  He steadied her waist, letting her do whatever she wanted for now.  She wasn't exactly rhythmic, but she felt so close.  He could feel her muscles contracting around him.  She suddenly pulled off and went down on him again, wiggling her rear near his head.  He growled and took it over, licking and teasing her.  She deserved it for making him wait.  Not that her mouth wasn't great, but he wanted more than that now.  She pulled off to shriek, going limp across his stomach.  "More?" he teased, thrusting two fingers into her while his thumb stroked her hard clit.

"I taste damn good," Xander said, grinning at him.  She moved away from his fingers, kissing him again.  Then she carefully laid on her back and spread herself out, arms above her head, hands on the headboard.  Jigen groaned, moving over top of her again.  "I'm yours.  Make me yours," she begged.

Jigen pushed back into her.  "No more teasing?"

"Fuck teasing, I want more dick."  He looked stunned.  "Honey, this can't even *compare* to what I've felt before.  You're making me get closer just because you're laying there.  There are no words to describe what I'm feeling, how I'm throbbing around you."

He shut her up with a hard kiss.  "Quiet, wench."

"Yes, wench, I like that one," she agreed, starting to babble as soon as he pulled back to push back in again.  It was making her ache, that slow, steady movement.  Sex as a man had nothing on this.  He arched up but his hips were pushed back down.  One hand on them held them down while Jigen sought his own pleasure.  She could feel another one coming and started to babble pleading noises and words, making him growl again.  "Please!" she shouted, arching up even though he was trying to hold her down.  "Just a little more!  One last one!"

"Shit, woman, I'm not near finished yet."  Xander gave him that same adoring and worshipful look.  He started to move harder, making her babble faster.  He slowed down for a minute and the pleading only got more incoherent.  "If all women were like you, I'd never go without."

"Whenever you want," Xander assured him.  "I'm not giving this up!"  She wailed, coming against his body.  His hair was just scratchy enough to tease her clit and it was throbbing in time with it.  "More!  Moremore, more now!"

"For a sub, you're demanding," he teased, but he was going to give her what she wanted.  Before he lost his own mind.  He could feel his own orgasm sneaking up on him and sped up a little more, hoping to get one last good scream out of her before he came.  Her muscles were shivering and he could feel her starting back up the scale.  Bad timing but maybe....  He tilted his hips up, making her wail.  "G-spot," he taunted.  He could feel her humping her clit against his pubic mound and it was only getting him hotter.   He was not giving this up when they got home!  Fuck, he'd share her for this!  He roared as he came, making her scream and wail, giving a few desperate pushes. He used his thumb to send her crashing into unconsciousness.  He laid there, panting hard, trying to catch his breath.  "Now I know why men die in bed," he complained, flopping onto his back so she could breathe when she woke up.  He nudged Xander, waking her.  "You all right?"

"Is this heaven?" she asked wearily.  "If it is, can I get some sunglasses, I can't see anything for the sparkly light."  She passed out again.

Jigen looked at her, rolling his head to do so.  "That's a compliment.  I did you until you were blind?"  His answer a soft sigh of contentment.  He lifted up, looking down at her.  "You're out again?"  He checked her pulse, hard and fast but acceptable.  It was slowing down.  He kissed her, making her wake up again.  "Morning."

She stretched, wrapping her arms around his neck.  "Damn, you're good," she said in amazement.  "I'll keep this damn thing on if I have to."  She blinked a few times.  "I've got a big bright spot in my vision.  I think I had a stroke."

Jigen laughed.  "No, you didn't have a stroke.  Probably."  He pulled her closer, letting her rest against him.  "You cuddle.  I know you like that."

"I do like cuddling but I like that clit and g-whatever thing better," she said tiredly.  "Hey, I think I'm sober now."  Jigen laughed, giving her a squeeze.  "It's a good thing I can't get pregnant."

"You sure about that?"

"Lupin said I couldn't."

"Yeah, well, he's been known to be wrong.  We'll be getting you the morning after pill tomorrow, just in case."  Xander gave him a tired smile.  "You nap, wench."  She laughed, resting her head on his chest.  Jigen laid there, amazed still.  "That was the best I've ever had," he mused.  She nuzzled him with her nose and he shifted a little, letting her go slightly so she could flip over if she wanted to but he could also drag something over top of them.  He wasn't moving until the morning.

***

Xander woke up with a gentle ache and a throbbing head.  Both were quickly soothed by a kiss before he could even open his eyes.  "Morning, Jigen," she said softly. "Food?"

"We'll get you some food soon.  Can you open your eyes?"  Xander shook her head.  "You wanna try?  Before I have to get Goemon in here to defend your honor?"

"With as much sex as he's had since being married, he can't complain about what I've gotten," Xander said tiredly, flipping onto her side, one arm snagging his neck and forcing him with him. "Cuddle.  I'll wake up later."  She yawned in his ear, falling back into a gentle doze.

Jigen shook his head.  "You'll be fine," he promised.  A gentle snore assaulted his ear and he chuckled, picking up the phone from the bedside table.  He called the front desk. "I need connected to the sultan's suite."  The line went through and Lupin answered.  "It's me.  Any new news?"  He listened.  "Do we have to go?"  He smirked.  "I guess that's one way to catch David."  Xander snored again, switching to his throat for nuzzling.  "Quit that."  He moved away from her but she grabbed him and held him still, moving down to play with his chest.  "What?  No, we're good.  No, she's sleeping.  Yeah, again."  He smirked.  "I'm not telling you that."

Xander grabbed the phone.  "Go away, we don't want any."  He tossed it aside, going back to his nap.

Jigen waited until he heard the first snore then kicked the phone back so he could grab it again.  "Like I said, asleep," he said more quietly.  He heard the stunned silence.  "What?"  Lupin said something about being right down and hung up before he could protest.  "Shit."  He hung the phone up.  "Xan, Lupin's on his way down."

"Unless you're willing to share, I'm staying this way."  He looked up at him, blinking his crusted eyelashes.  "Eww, mascara is more nasty than lipstick, I was right."

Jigen shook his head.  "What do you want, Xander?"

"I..."  She slumped and shrugged.  "I'm letting you two work that out."  She slid out of the bed and went into the bathroom.  "Do I have any clothes?"

"Only what you were wearing."  Jigen got up and managed to find most of his clothes.  His belt was under the bed but he wasn't able to get it yet.  He tidied up the small mess of thrown newspapers and scratch pad paper, tossing it all out.  When the door was knocked on, he answered it.  "Hey."  He let him inside, taking the cup of coffee from him.  "Thanks."  He took a careful sip while he checked the hall.  "No Goemon?"

"He went to look at baby furniture," Lupin said, sitting on the end of the bed.  "Xander?"

"Bathroom hiding," he said, locking the door again.  "Xander?"  She opened the door.  "Take a shower, we'll figure out clothes in a minute."  She nodded, pulling her head back in.  "She won't tell me what she wants."  He sat in the chair, looking at his best friend.  "I still won't be able to do anything while she's a guy."

Lupin smirked at him.  "Whereas I don't have that problem," he agreed.  "But she's a bit more innocent than I'd like as a woman."  Xander came out and grabbed her dress but Lupin grabbed her first, sitting her beside him on the bed.  "What do you want, Xander?  We've decided to start asking you the important questions."  Xander blushed and tried to cover herself up.  "Interesting bite pattern," he said, touching a mark.  She swatted at him.  "Sorry."  He glanced at Jigen, who was not looking happy.  "Xander, do you know what you want?"

Xander sighed and shook her head.  "I don't know.  I like what I have.  I like what I had.  I don't know."  She went into the bathroom to get dressed. Minus the pantyhose and panties.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "I'll leave it up to you.  You're the one who nearly destroyed everything you've ever had to get her."

Jigen sipped his coffee.  "I did, didn't I?" he asked calmly.  That fight with Lupin could have made him leave the group for good.  "We can share," he decided.

"We can share," Lupin agreed.  "If she'll allow it.  Xander?"  She came out, giving him a look.  "Do you want us to choose?"

"I don't want to hurt the group," Xander pleaded.  "I never meant for that to happen."  She turned, struggling with the door, but Lupin stopped her, turning her around and bringing her back to the bed, sitting her on his lap.  "I don't want to do this to the group!"

"You're not," Jigen assured him.  "We were thinking about ways of making sure that didn't happen."  Xander stopped struggling and gave him a hopeful look.  "Honestly, wench, I won't ever touch a man, not even you.  I'm not built that way."  Xander nodded and slumped.  "On the other hand, I'm also insanely jealous at the moment.  Let her go."  Lupin handed her over, taking the coffee in exchange for the girl.  "Thank you."  He stroked Xander's thigh, making her shiver.  "It's up to you."

"You're talking about sharing me, aren't you?" Xander asked.  "Or am I still really confused?"

"That was the option we liked," Lupin agreed with a smirk.  "I seem to get some very good ideas when I sleep with you."  She blushed.  "On the other hand, you're way to innocent for me as a female.  Your blushing proves that you are.  I like my women dangerous.  You're too...."

"Sweet," Jigen supplied.  "Very sweet.  Very soft."  Xander blushed brighter, giggling nervously.  He realized what his fingers were doing and how far up her skirt they were so he stopped them.  "Sorry.  I think I need time to get used to it."  He looked at Lupin.  "Speaking of, we need to get her a pill pack."

"She shouldn't be fertile."

"I'm not taking that chance with her life."

"Fine.  We'll stop at a pharmacy on our way to the airport.  Pops is going after Dawn, Xander, and she's panicking."

"Dawn's panicking?  Why?"

"The soul-eating lawyer was defending Buffy from a charge against her, but his fee of a soul per day wasn't sitting well with her once she found out.  Buffy's in the hospital.  The LA group is there.  She and David are facing this down with Angel and she's presently trying to keep from killing people while trying to kill the beast, keep David sane and there, and take care of her nephews because Buffy's husband is missing in action," Lupin told him.  "You can go babysit Fujiko if you want, or you can go with us."

Xander shook his head.  "I should go.  Things like that tend to leave me alone.  At the very least it'll help the kids.  They're innocent, they don't deserve this life."

"That's what we planned on."  Lupin checked his watch.  "That leaves us two hours to get to the airport and board.  You can eat in the car?"  Xander nodded.  "That's fine, let's go."

"I need to do some minor shopping first," Xander pointed out, crossing her legs.  "I don't think I want to go through the airport and the flight without panties."  Lupin gave him a smug look.  "They were kinda stiff this morning."

"I bet."  Lupin stood up and patted himself down.  "That's fine.  Let's do that now."  He handed over the rest of the coffee.  "In my bag I've got your passport and a spare jacket."  He helped her up.  "If we can, we'll get David to fix it as soon as we get there."  He looked around the room, grabbing her purse and shoes, while Jigen got down to retrieve his belt.  "Kinky," he said, grinning at Xander, making her blush again.

"She offered but I didn't need it," Jigen said smugly.  He did a check of the room himself, following them out the door and down to the car where the bellhop was waiting with Lupin's emergency bag.  "When did you get his passport?"

"It's in the glove compartment.  I found it the other day."  He got in to drive.  "Are you going to be particular?"

"No, I just want something to stop the breeze," Xander said as she got into the back and buckled in.  "Picky is Fuji and her thong obsession."

"With some of the outfits she used to wear, it was all you could wear under them," Lupin said with a smirk.  "I like that dress on you."  He took off, heading into the city proper to *his* favorite store.  Fujiko had her spots and he had his.  Within minutes of the stop, Xander was reoutfited in a full new outfit. Now she looked like a high class businesswoman.  They hurried out to the car, letting Jigen run in for the morning after packet and a soda for the bouncing gunwoman.  She was his responsibility.

***

Xander stepped off the loading ramp and looked around the terminal.  The sunglasses she wore were very dark but she wasn't going to remove them yet.  She walked over to the seating area, but none of their crew was there.  So he headed to the car rental place.  She smiled as she stepped up.  "I made reservations on the flight over.  Harris?" she said softly.  The clerk checked the computer and nodded, handing over the forms.  "Hmm.  License number."  She dug in her purse, accepting it when one was handed over her shoulder. His real California one.  He looked back, coming face to face with Zenigata.  "Morning."

"Evening," he said bitterly, "but I suppose in your line of work it's about the same."  Lupin coughed behind him and he got out of the way.  "Come to save Dawn?"

"Very."  Xander let Lupin fill it out.  He had his license on him.  She looked him over, then smirked.  "Feeling like your old self again, Gramps?"

"Yes, I do, but I also can't do anything about it.  My boss is in the middle of that mess."  Xander nodded and he drug him off to the side.  "Why are you so calm!" he demanded.

Xander removed her sunglasses.  "Because I've been here and worse before.  Me panicking won't help any."  Marcus joined them and took his arm.  "We'll handle it while you guard the little kids.  Then we'll leave and you can go back to your old ways."  She let Marcus walk her off, shaking her head.  "This is getting more and more complicated by the minute," he complained, letting Lupin put him into the back of the Benz.  "This is nicer than the usual rental."

"I hate sitting in American traffic without a good car around me," Lupin told him, getting in to drive.  "Where to first?"

"Where are they planning from?"

"Giles' shop."

"Go to the museum Dawn liked so much and hang a right three intersections before you hit the block it's on.  Go left about seven blocks, then I'll take over."

Lupin nodded, waiting while Jigen put the single bag into the trunk, then got in.  As soon as they were on the interstate, he glanced back.  "What are we dealing with?"

"I don't know yet.  Soul eating isn't uncommon.  Being a lawyer is, but that's odd for all demons, not just soul eating ones.  I wonder if Angel's had a problem with it."  He stared out the window, thinking about it.  "Most of the soul eaters have a body weakness and can be killed by silver," Xander said finally.  "With about five exceptions.  One's an iron, one's a water for some reason, and the other two are killed by bashing their heads in."

"That leaves one," Marcus reminded him.  "Which would be a single being and higher in the hierarchy.  It's about fifteen feet tall so I'm sure we can rule it out unless we've got notice that it's been seen."

Xander nodded.  "I've met him.  You rip his balls off and he disappears.  That's where his keys are."  He crossed his legs in the other direction.  "We'll need guns.  The nearest gun shop is on the way.  They do deal in the supernatural so they might have silver bullets.  Otherwise we'll have to make some.  Jigen, did you bring yours?"  Jigen nodded.  "How do you sneak it past?"

"I had Marcus put an 'ignore' charm on it when we first met," he said smugly, turning around.  "What are you looking for?"

"Handgun, automatic.  We'll need a wider spread if it's most of them.  The delicate spot is at least a hand's-width across and the more we can hit of it the better we'll be.  It's not like an allergy, where one will kill it."  He tapped Lupin on the shoulder.  "Take this exit."  Lupin did so, heading down the ramp.  "Go left."  Lupin did so, leaving him to think about it.  "I'll stick with a handgun and one rifle if we have to.  I doubt we'll need a sniper this time."  Jigen nodded.  "Marcus?"

"I can chant with the best of them, but I don't think magic will be as helpful this time unless we're going for containment.  Mr. Giles is still there and more knowledgeable than I am about such matters.  He learned directly from Mr. Rayne, Janus' High Priest himself."

"He was?" Lupin asked.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, he is.  He and Giles were fiery sort of lovers. He sparked Giles' bad side."  He leaned his head back.  "We'll need a contained area to deal with it.  Its lair would be fine but I'm not going to count on that.  Warehouses seem to be the norm for demons because it's dark and there's some space to get away, yet they're still protected."  He tapped Lupin again.  "Go right."  Lupin turned onto that street.  "Go to the bright red sign, it's the pawn shop."  Once they got there, they got out, heading inside.  "Morning," he told the guy behind the counter, smirking when the half-demon swallowed.  "Summers called us.  What is it and what do you have?"

"I've got tons and it's an average soul eater with a brain fetish."  He pushed a button, letting them into the back room.  "Pick, high one," he said, backing away from him.

"Wow, this is like scene in MIB," Marcus said, looking around at all the shiny weapons.  "Do you have any silver bullets handy?"  He nodded.  "What caliber?"

"I've got it in forty-five/three-fifty-seven and in nine mil.  I've got a very limited supply of it in shotgun shells.  Mostly pellet style."  Xander nodded, testing a gun.  "That one's really heavy for women," he offered.

Xander smirked at him.  "I'm not always a woman, and don't worry about it.  I'm more skilled than I thought."  He glanced and grinned at Jigen.

"Good job," Lupin told him, patting Jigen on the back.  "You got him to accept that fact."

"I'll tickle you later," Xander warned, picking his two favorite and getting out of the way.  "These and bullets.  A standard soul eater?"  The half-demon nodded, adding up the cost on a calculator.  "Don't cheat me.  I'll get pissed and kill you too."  The half-demon looked at him, noticing his eyes.  "Harris," he said quietly.  The demon swallowed and suddenly the number was cut in half.  "We're leaving after this, going back to Europe.  You'll be safe with so many Slayers here."

The half-demon nodded. "I know.  We usually are.  Summers is a kicker but she's also a bad shot."

Xander nodded.  "She is.  She's never seen the need for more than a crossbow."  She leaned on the counter, watching as Lupin found one he wanted temporarily.  "Hey, Marcus, I'll need you to charm these too."

"Sure thing, Xander."  He picked up a crossbow, looking at it.  "It's automatic? I didn't know they made such as these."

"They do, and they sell spare magazines too," the half-demon told him.  "Usually the Watchers buy them."

"My father was unfortunately one of those," Marcus told him, giving him a look.  "I decided against it.  I'm much happier this way."  He looked at Lupin.  "Did Goemon go back home?"

"No.  He'll be in later tonight.  He had to get his passport and figured that out after we called you."  He handed over his.  "Plus standard ammunition for all of them."  The half- demon nodded, putting boxes onto the counter, along with a large suitcase.  "Thank you."  He let Xander load them up, paying the man instead.  Jigen got some extra bullets, he was fine with his own weapon.  Marcus got an extra two boxes of bolts, that baby was going home with him apparently.  They headed out to the car, taking the parking ticket off and dropping it onto the ground.  Xander got in to drive, making Lupin sit in the back.  "Are you sure you know where you're going?"

"Of course I do.  I cased it our first night in town, boss."  Xander checked, everyone was in and the trunk was closed.  He took off, heading to a nearby parking garage about four blocks away.  Then he got out and pulled out the gun case, heading off at a slow walk.  Everyone else followed him.  He walked into the front door of the shop, giving the staring people a look.  "Yes, the choker does change gender," he said firmly, walking down the stairs, more confident in his heels now.  "Why?  Miss me all of a sudden?"  Dawn came over, hugging him. "Thanks, babe.  David!" he yelled.   David came out of the back room.  "We've got to do something about this choker.  Tonight.  I miss my penis and I shoot better as a man."  David nodded, looking away from Lupin.  "Fine, whatever."  He put the weapon case on the table, looking at Giles. "You yelped for assistance?" he said bitterly.

"Xander," he breathed.  Xander nodded.  "You're here?  Actually here?"

"Of course he is," Marcus snapped.  "No thanks to you."  He moved to open the case, taking out his weapon.  "Where is the soul eater and what type exactly?"

Lupin stood next to Jigen, watching the younger two deal with it.  Dawn looked morose.  David was hedging away from a man with darker skin than he had.  He nudged him, nodding at the unfamiliar people.  "Who are they?"

Jigen pointed at each one of them.  "That's Angel.  That's David's father, Gunn," he said, nodding at David.  "The woman must be Fred, Xander didn't say much about her when we ran into them in LA, he liked her more than everyone else.  Where's Cordelia?  You couldn't get her back?" he asked Angel when he came over.

"You again?" he asked dryly.  "Why did he bring you?"

"Because the boy is mine, Angel.  Leave him be before we have to go a few rounds."

Xander shot at Angel, wounding him in the arm.  "Leave Jigen alone," he said coldly.  "Leave Lupin alone and leave Goemon alone when he gets here.  Or else the next one's going to be silver and into your stomach so you die a fucking horrible death, like you deserve."  He turned back to look at Giles again.  "Well?"

"He's nearby.  We haven't been able to pinpoint him yet.  He comes in each night about ten.  He'll be back tomorrow."  He lifted his chin.  "Are you staying?"

"Hell no," Xander snorted.  "Why would I want to stay with people who don't like me when I've found people who appreciate me, like me, and find me neat, cute, and funny?  For that matter, why would I want to leave my life for this one?  One where I not only matter, but I happen to do a lot more every week."  He leaned closer.  "Giles, you'd be surprised. They let me read the books in the big house and all of it.  They encouraged me when they found out I was learning Japanese and Russian.  They also encourage me to learn new skills.  Not only am I taking private martial arts lessons with a *master*, I'm taking it with a samurai.  I'm skilled enough that I'm being encouraged to learn more so I'm more useful in the group.  That beats the fuck out of what I had with you."  He stood up straight again.  "Hey, boss.  What time is it?"

Lupin looked at his watch.  "About dinner back at home.  That makes it nearly three here?  I think."

"Two," Marcus told him.  The door opened and he smiled at the inspector.  "Good morning, Gramps.  Came back?"

"I have to help.  That thing has my boss now."

"Then we'll go," Xander told him.  "Do you know where it is?"  Zenigata nodded.  "If he took the person with him, there's a good chance it'll keep him alive.  Tell us where so we can get it."

"H...he took one of the younger girls to eat tonight," Giles stuttered.  "He wan...wanted to talk to him.  Not kill him."

"Even better."  Xander walked over to Zenigata, his heels loud in the quiet shop.  "Where is it?"

"It's somewhere beneath this block.  I chased it to it's entrance but I couldn't get past it.  It tried to gas me."

"Did the gas come out of it's mouth?" Xander asked.  Zenigata shook his head.  "It's butt?"  The inspector nodded, looking embarrassed so he stared him in the eyes.  "Calm down.  The more information we have the better chance we have of beating it.  Was it green or brown gas?"

"Green.  Smelled like it came from where it did.  Now I know why Mark likes you."

"Mark never saw this side of me, he saw the gentle and nice side of me.  This is a battle, it's different.  Work and pleasure are two different things."  The inspector blushed and backed away from him.  "I have no desire for Mark, inspector.  Remember that.  You can tell him that later, but try to let him down easy.  I know how hard crushes can be."  He walked back to the table, slapping a clip into his second weapon and stuffing a few more into his pockets and down his bra.  "Where was the entrance?"

"Behind the shop, down the street.  There's a small construction site on the other side of the parking garage to the North.  There's a hole in the lower level.  It's down there."

Xander nodded.  "Fine.  We can do that."  He looked at the older set.  "Stay here," he decided.  "It's probably a tight cave, it'll get messy.  You can work on things with Dawn and David.  Keep them here.  Angel, if you *have* to come, you may."  He headed for the back door, but Gunn grabbed him.  He glared at him.  "Let go," he said without any visible emotion.

"You act like you're so hot."

"Gunn, I'm an assassin.  I do this for a living these days.  I've got nearly a hundred kills to my name, not counting demons over the course of my life.  I am hot."  He got his arm free.  "Make it up with your son.  He's confused.  He'll also be removing this choker, even if I have to hunt his ass down and force him to."  He glared at David, who blushed and nodded.  "Good.  Wait on me."  He walked away, heading out the back door.  He heard Marcus coming with him.  "Go back in there and steal Giles' books, Marcus.  I can do this one."

"Not a chance," Jigen told him, jogging to catch up to him.  "We don't go in solo unless there's a problem."

"It's a demon.  There's every chance it'll either try to eat me or bow to me."  He grinned.  "And whichever it does will be wrong, of course."  He moved down the alley, sweeping the area visually, his main gun loose in his hand.  "I'm hoping it doesn't have minions."  Jigen handed over a silencer, making Xander smile. "Thanks.  Normals are so odd about gunshots sometimes," he quipped.  He screwed it on, continuing down to the parking garage.

***

Giles rounded on the inspector.  "He's a what?" he demanded.

Lupin chuckled, moving closer.  Xander had left him the sacred duty to annoy the people who had hurt him.  "He is.  He's a damn good one too.  Jigen said he had natural talent long before they met.  Something about having to do this to save himself or something I believe."  Giles glared at him.  "You know, Ethan didn't say a thing about you the last time he came to help Xander.  I wonder why."  Giles blanched.  "Dawn, are you coming back with us or later?"

"Later," she said, looking him in the eyes.  "My nephews need me right now."

"Fine.  If you can't make it back within a week or so, I'll have your room packed up and put into storage."  She nodded, accepting that.  "David?"

"I don't know, Lupin.  I want to, but there's stuff I need to do.  Dawn reminded me of that."  He moved away from his father's heated glaring.  "I want to, but things may go horribly wrong with my free will."

"That's fine.  You didn't have that much stuff at the house.  I'll mail it to you if you can't come back.  Should I have Goemon tape his lectures on impulse control?  I know he likes giving them."  His cell rang.  "Speak of the devil, he always know when you talk about him."  He answered it.  "Yeah?"  He listened, frowning heavily.  "Is she all right?"  He relaxed.  "Good.  No, I'd never take you away from that.  That's a sacred duty, Goemon, I want you to stay there.  We've got it.  We'll be back in time for the maze."  He hung up, looking at the younger generation.  "That was Goemon, Fujiko's having some cramping.  The doctor gave her a light sedative and put her to bed."

"Cramping is painful," Dawn agreed.  "Buffy had those with her first."  She looked up at him, looking miserable.  "I still want to run it."

"Alone or with your group?"

She shrugged.  "They're not my group, Lupin.  I realize what you were beating me in the head about."  She glanced at David, who scowled at her. "I want to go solo."

"I'll tell the registration person.  We've decided to keep Xander and Marcus anyway and to help David if he comes back."  David shrugged when he glanced in his direction.  "And if not, then most of his training is applicable to the fighting his father does."

"Applicable?"

"It is," David agreed. "Not only has my fighting gotten better, but so has my temper, my strength, and my ability to climb walls and sneak into places.  I had been following Dawn's 'no casualty' rule but I'm not sure if I can do it after all."  He looked at Lupin.  "She's all right, right?"

"She's fine.  The doctor said it was normal; pregnancy is supposed to be painful sometimes."  Zenigata glared harder at him.  "Hey, talk to her husband, it's not mine.  I was always very careful when she was mine."  He sat down at the table, taking his own gun to load, slapping the clip into it.  "So, Dawn," he said casually.  "Any ideas of what you'll be doing if you stay?"

"Hard time," Zenigata told him.

Dawn scowled at him.  "Shut it, Gramps."  She looked at Lupin.  "Xander had a pretty decent idea a few months back.  There are insurance companies who pay people like me not to steal stuff.  It'll give me the kick of breaking and entering without the drama and the potential to kill people."  Zenigata looked at her.  "Yes, me, Gramps.  I don't kill people. I don't even like killing demons.  That's Xander."

"I thought his name was Lavelle."

"That's his use name," Dawn said coldly.  "We used to be his family."

"You probably still are to the greater degree," Lupin reassured.  "So, Pops, how are you gonna catch us when there's six of us?  You haven't been able to catch more than one of us at a time for years."

"Two," Zenigata reminded him.  "I caught Jigen and Lavelle."

"Lavelle was a young guy at the beginning of his training," Lupin reminded him, gently smirking at him.  "Shortly after you lost them, you lost us all."  Zenigata growled, tensing up to lunge at him.  "Ah-ah.  Lavelle is presently saving your boss. I'd be more thankful before you end up in Mexico again."  Dawn snorted.  "Or somewhere less hospitable."

"Hmph."  Zenigata relaxed again, watching Lupin's every move.  "When is she due?  So I know when to look for signs of the Anti-Christ?"

"She's just over three months along," Lupin shared with a bright grin.  "She's just started having food cravings and morning sickness."

"Yeah, the whole caviar and dill potato chip thing was really gross," David agreed.

His father looked at him like he was an alien.  "You eat caviar?"

"Sometimes.  It's kinda salty.  I never understood what the big thing was.  It's fish eggs.  If it was human eggs I could see it, but fish eggs at that price?"

"The first thing you learn in the business is that people attach worth to odd things, David," Lupin told him.  "Otherwise we wouldn't have a job."  David nodded, understanding that.  Lupin swung his gun lazily in his hand for show.  "Dawn, who has the kiddies?"

"They're sleeping in the back room," Gunn said coldly.  "You're not going to see them."

"I saw them during our last trip to the city.  One was at the museum the same time we were and the other was at the airport with his mother.  By the way, you might want to suggest that Buffy get the older one's hair cut.  He's looking a little like a girl with how curly it is."  Gunn glared worse.

Angel walked over, looking at him.  "Why weren't you there when they killed Willow?"

"Because Xander and I were in Turkey at the time, planning how to get a golden mask away from someone who was misusing it.  You'd be surprised at how good the man is.  Not only is he an excellent planner, he's got skills out the ass.  He's got so many skills that we're having to hunt for things to teach him outside of his martial arts training.  He's fully Jigen's level now, if not more well-rounded since he started taking accounting and language classes.  He's doing really well in Japanese, if with a strange accent."  He grinned at Zenigata again.  "He was very impressed when you said he was more dangerous than Jigen.  It's what made him realize it was true.  Before then he thought we were being nice."

Zenigata frowned.  "The boy needs to kill whoever picked on him that way.  Figuratively speaking of course."  He noticed most of the people in the room went suddenly pale at that.  "Them?  They did that to him?" Lupin nodded.  "Then why did he come back?"

"That's a Xander for you," Dawn said smartly.  "Hell, Buffy didn't even try to help him when we finally got him free of the horrible torture Marcus' father imposed on him.  She sent Willow to kill him.  That's how he met Jigen."  She got comfortable.  "Lupin, are you sure it's all right if I do it this way?" she asked quietly.

He smiled.  "We've noticed for a while now that you really don't have what it takes to live the life, Dawn.  Our whole group is also one who upholds community standards.  Mediocre people who have problems with the job shouldn't be in the job.  It gluts the market, takes down professional pride, and makes the rest of us look bad.  If all you can do is open fire on a crowd then you shouldn't call yourself an assassin and if you can't break into a private home you shouldn't call yourself a thief."  She nodded.  "You have enough skills to do the job at the mid-level, but you'll never be great and you'll hate yourself the first time something goes wrong and someone dies by your hand.  You don't belong in it.  David's the same way.  He's in it for the thrill factor.  Go bungee jumping instead."  She laughed at that.  "Hey, I've done that, jumped off a moving train into a river without the cord.  It's fun," he offered.

David snorted.  "I still think I could be great."

"David, if this was a job, you'd have to kill everyone in the room who wasn't on our side when they tried to stop you.  Could you do that?"  The young man went very quiet so he looked at him.  "Yes, all of them.  Zenigata, the vampire, your father, all of them."  David shook his head as he ran to get sick.  "Good answer."  He looked toward the door.  "What is taking them so long?"  He was running out of ways to be annoying in a normal way, he'd have to get creative soon.

***

Xander found the hole, frowning at it.  "This thing is only four feet tall?"  He shook his head, looking around.  There was a larger hole in the wall, but he wasn't sure which it was.  "Okay, we wanna play a game?"

Jigen looked at both holes.  "Sure, why not.  Is one an air hole maybe?"

"Possibly, or the construction crew did it."  Xander put her gun up and pulled down her hair, taking the stick.  She got down on her knees, looking back at him. "Give me your flashlight," she ordered, using her hairband to tie it to the hairstick.  She shined it down in the smaller hole.  "Yeah, we end."  He handed the flashlight back then put back up his hair.  "Come on.  Let's go for the big hole."  She pulled her main gun and headed to the hole in the wall, glancing inside.  The flashlight shined around the walls in front of her.  "That probably won't work.  This thing has phosphorescent slime.  We'll be able to see."  She moved inside, gun ready in front of her but down.  She peeked around the next turn, wincing at the smell.  "Eww.  Demon butt.  Like I haven't smelled this enough already."  She took a deep breath and moved further in.  This wasn't that much of a challenge. Yet. They moved further in, taking out the minor demons as they popped out to check and see what was coming.  Xander was keeping a running count in his head.  He had to use his backup gun once because it didn't have silver bullets in it.  He was down nine shots of the silver in a thirteen clip and had three more spare clips, plus another two for the other one.  He walked into the antechamber and frowned.  "This is not good," he warned.  He glanced back but Jigen wasn't there.  He had just felt him there.  He aimed up the tunnel, starting to walk back that way.  Jigen came out, waving him off. "You okay?"

"Fine.  What's going on?"

"This is the sitting room of doom.  Where is this thing?"  He scanned the walls.  "There should be a door here."

"There was another turn back there."

"True.  Let's try that."  He led the way back, he had the most experience, he got point.  His game, his rules.  They found the other turn and walked down it, finding the bedroom area.  The commissioner was laying on a pile of furs, looking like he had just went a round with a succubus.  "Eww."  He got the man freed, letting Jigen deal with him.

"You're under arrest," the man slurred.

"Save it for now, old guy.  Arrest us once we're in the open air."  He looked over, noticing Xander was checking the chambers off this one.  "Where is it?"

"Behind you," the man giggled.

Xander swung around, clipping the thing in the shoulder as it came into the room.  "Move," he suggested lightly.  "Extract him, leave me here."  Jigen gave him a look.  "Go!"  Jigen got the guy moving, taking the tunnel they had walked up out.  "Come on, stinky ass, let's play."  The demon growled and lunged, and Xander got him between the eyes, an annoyance shot.  "Want more?"  He was giving Jigen time to run.  There should only be one thing that might be alive back in the tunnels and he could get it.  "Come on."  The demon bellowed and the commissioner yelled.  "Aw, did you take a consort?" he asked condescendingly.  "Poor thing, and I just stole it from you.  I guess I did learn my lesson from the best thief in the world."  He put his gun up and pulled the knife he had stolen from the shop.  "Like this one."  The demon lunged again, bellowing in anger and pain.  Xander sliced it across the arm, ducking out of the way.  He got it in the back as it moved past, mostly annoyance but painful.   The demon turned, panting and glaring at him.  "Yes, I'm mean, I'm bad, put whatever other adjectives or adverbs that you want in that sentence.  Come on, stinky."  The demon's eyes narrowed and Xander pulled his gun, firing at the thing coming in through the doorway, getting the human.  He put his gun aside as the demon rushed him, getting it in the soft spot this time.  His hand sunk in to the wrist, but the silver was burning.  He could feel it heating up.  He let it go, pulling his hand back to shake the slime off it.  "Eww, can't you die cleanly?"  The demon fell forward and Xander had to dart to grab his gun off the floor before it got slimed too.  Guns did not work as well after they had been slimed, he knew that for a fact.  He walked over to look at the human, snorting.  "Hey, babe," he said, helping Faith up off the floor.  "Why you here?"

"B needed help.  You?"

"She sent a panicked call to Dawn, David, and I."

"David?"

"Gunn's son."  He shrugged.  "All yours.  There's a pretty silver hunting knife in there somewhere."  Faith grinned, going to kill that thing for fun.  "Need me to stay?"

"Nah, go for it.  I'll see you back at the shop.  That Jigen guy is hot."  She looked at him.  "Plus, I gotta say it, this new look is smokin', Xander.  You enjoying it from the bottom up?"

He smirked at her.  "I always have, Faith.  I like being on the bottom.  You taught me that."  He blew a kiss.  "Behave and be good.  I'll see you back there.  We'll go natch at Buffy together tomorrow."  He walked out, vigilant even though he was still shaking the slime off his hand.  "This stuff will never come out of the jacket," he complained as he walked up the alley.  A cop car pulled up near him, lights already going.  "What?" he demanded.

"Drop the gun, ma'am," the officer said firmly.

Xander looked at her.  "Dude, I just took down something that tried to eat people.  It's down there," he said, pointing at the parking garage he had just passed.  He'd cover for Faith.  "That nice woman helped me get my precious puppy away from it, but she's run off.  Have you seen my collie?"

"Ma'am, please put down the gun."

Xander sighed.  "You're not leaving me a choice, officer."

"That's the whole point behind the order."

Xander lifted the gun and blew the lights.  The cop scrambled underneath his car.  "Thank you.  I've still got a big, bright spot in my vision from sex last night."  She walked on, taking the path through the alley like she had on the way up.  Lupin met her at the door.  "This jacket needs some serious pretreatment."

"We'll burn it," Lupin said with a smile.  "I heard a cop?"

"Yeah, he's pouting because I didn't kill him, I only killed his light.  I'm still seeing afterimages of that big ball of light I woke up to last night."  Jigen looked at him. "What?  I told you I had a stroke!"  He took off the jacket and wandered in.  "Faith said hi.  She's ripping it apart."  She sat down, crossing her legs delicately.  "Any other new business?"  Everyone shook their heads.  "Then I now declare this meeting adjourned."  He looked around.  "No Gramps?"

"He took his boss to be checked over," Jigen told him, holding out a hand.  "Come on.  It's nearly dawn.  We'll watch the sunrise from the park."

"Cool.  I like seeing sunrise from *this* side."  She took his hand, waving at everyone.  "Bye.  We'll be leaving soon.  David?"  David looked at him, looking guilty.  "Today, noon.  Pick up for a small trip to fix this problem for now."  David nodded, looking embarrassed.  "Good boy."  He walked out with Jigen, letting Lupin follow behind.  "Did we leave anything?"

"Marcus," Lupin told him.  "He's ass cheek deep in the library upstairs.  I told him where we'd be staying so he can sneak out a window."  He got in to drive.  "You all right, Xander?  No other problems?"

"No, just the funky eye light," Xander assured him happily.  "It happened after orgasm ten or eleven."  Jigen coughed, shaking his head.  "Sorry."

"She's like that?" Lupin whined.

"And more.  She said sex like that is better than sex as a man."

"No fighting or I'm buying sex toys," Xander warned.  "They're applicable to either form and make nice humming noises while they work."  The older men laughed, leaving him alone while they headed for their hotel.  Xander got to check them in.  "Hola!" he said in his worst Texan accent.  The Hispanic woman behind the counter gave him an annoyed look.  "I think we made a reservation under ..."  He looked back toward the door.  "Pookie, which name did you put it under?" she called loudly.

Lupin coughed.  "Jigen's."

"Under Jigen."  He looked at her again, seeing the stunned look. "What? You don't like that name?"

"Isn't that the name of a wanted felon, ma'am?" she asked as she typed.

"Not this time.  He's a sweetie, he's a pet groomer."  She grinned.  "We're gettin' married and all so I can move his pet groomin' stuff into my salon.  This town is just so *quaint* and *cultured*!  Almost foreign.  I *had* to have it done here!"

"I'll be sure to pass on your comments to the mayor," she told him, handing over the form for her to sign.  Once it was signed, she took it back and handed over the plastic key cards.  "There you are, room 1256.  Do you need help with your bags?"

"Nah, we packed it all inta two.  I don't need much room."  She headed for the elevator, taking the men with her.  She nodded happily at the person coming off the elevator in running shorts.  "Mornin'," she said.  "Pretty day today you think?"

"I hope so," the man agreed, hurrying on before that strange woman could talk to him again.

Xander got on and pushed the button, leaning against the wall.  Then he grinned.  "I always hate it when strangers come up and talk to me," he explained.

Lupin laughed.  "That's a cover story I've never used before," he told him.

Xander shrugged.  "What else would they expect in this tiny, little, wannabe Eurotrash town?"

"It's quaint," Jigen defended.

"I'm tired of quaint.  Real cities are like LA, New York, and Paris.  Big, sprawling, high, expensive, diverse, and noisy.  Cleveland is not many of those."  They got off the elevator, heading for their room.  "Is it a double or am I sleeping in the tub?"

"You're sleeping in the tub," Lupin said dryly, patting her on the back.  "Noon?"

"Even I've got to sleep, boss."

"Good point."  He let them into the room, waving a hand at the double beds.  "You can sleep in whichever you want."  He deposited the cases on the dresser and went to freshen up.  "The shower's tiny," he called.

"Of course it is," Xander said dryly.  "Why would a hotel room want to be comfortable?"  He sat down, taking off his shoes.  Then he found himself in Jigen's arms, blinking up at him.  "Huh?"

"Maybe you really did have a stroke."

"Yeah, but what a way to go," Xander told him, allowing himself to be sat up.  Lupin came out of the bathroom.  "Don't mind me, I'm a little dizzy apparently."

Jigen took off Xander's shoes, then looked at her arm.  "Was that slime poisonous?"  Xander shrugged.  "Call Marcus and ask him.  She's acting funny."

"It's nothing."

"Xander, you will take better care of yourself or we'll be forced to bring you back to life so we can kill you ourselves," Lupin ordered.  "That is an order.  Tell me what's wrong," he ordered more gently.

"I'm a little dizzy and I feel kinda woozy.  Nothing else."  She heaved herself up onto the bed, holding her head.  "This is really not a fun trip."

"Did you eat anything yesterday?" Jigen asked.

"Oh, God, not food."  Xander turned green.  "I don't think those pills agreed with me."

"That's possible," Lupin agreed.  Together they got her stripped and into the bed.  Then he looked at Jigen.  "Eleven?"

"Or so," he said smugly.  "She's damn hot.  Likes to be called a wench too."  He laid down on top of the covers.  "I guess I'll have to wait for a repeat."

"With how loud he is, I'd appreciate that," Lupin told him. He called Marcus' phone.  "Was the slime poisonous?"  He listened.  "Okay, thank you for that.  Yes, I'll tell him.  How do we treat it?"  He smirked.  "He got estrogen earlier, just in case.   Why?"  He laughed.  "That's also good to know.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "Doctor Marcus said that the only thing that the slime would react negatively to was female hormones.  Faith came in feeling a little dizzy too."  He sat down on his bed, watching them.  "She'll come back to this again.  Probably pretty soon.  She seems to be more comfortable in it."

"Now.  We'll have to change her tomorrow."  He stroked Xander's chin.  "She is so soft in this form."

"All women are soft."  Jigen looked at him.  "All the ones I've slept with were," he offered. "If you had gotten out more in your youth, you'd know that."

"I slept with real women, not tramps."

"Yeah, sure you did.  When?"

"Whenever I wanted to, Lupin," he said smugly.  "When you don't have to worry about only being with the best, there's a lot more women in the world.  Real women are interesting, you'll figure that out some day."  The two men looked at each other and laughed.  "What do you think, this and black hair?"

"Sounds good to me."  Lupin kicked off his shoes and laid down.  "Dye or not?"

"I'm torn.  I'd rather we didn't."  He stroked the silver hair.  "I like this look on him."

"It's starting to get a wave in the bottom."

"I'm sure he'll like that better.  Hey, remember that assassin in Morocco?  Maybe Xander will grow hair like that."  Lupin shook his head.  "No?"

"I don't think he needs waist-length hair.  Let's stick with the present length for a while."  He put his arms behind his head.  "We should sleep.  Eleven comes really early when you don't fall asleep until six."

"Night, boss."

"Night, Jigen.  Night, Xander."  Xander moaned and flailed in his direction, making both men chuckle again.  She was so cute!

***

Xander walked into the clothing store, touching the shirts that Jigen liked to see him in, but giving one shirt a longing look.  Lupin tapped him on the shoulder.  "Get whatever you want, dear."

Xander looked back at him.  "Really?"  Lupin nodded so Xander walked over, taking the blue, gray, and black print shirt off to the changing room to try it on.  The saleswoman looked at him funny.  "I'm buying it for my brother," she explained.  "We're exactly alike only he doesn't have the chest I do."  The saleswoman handed over the number card and let her into a changing room.  She tried on the shirt, it did look good on her.  "I like this one," he decided.  He walked out, finding a pair of black pants in his size that he liked the feel of too.  Shoes, underwear, a watch, and a t-shirt were added to the pile.  "These," she said happily.  Jigen looked at the shirt, then at him.  "What?"

"I thought you gave those up."

"I thought it was the group uniform, but the dear one said I could get whatever I wanted."

"Good point," Lupin agreed.  "You should have clothes for work and some for play.  And some for other playing," he said with a small smirk as he paid for it.  "Hospital first, then David?  We can bring him with us.  His father's upsetting him again."

"Sure, I don't care, but Buffy won't recognize me."

"Then you can change in the car," Lupin said, steering her out.  He looked at Jigen and winked.  "Go ahead and get into the back, change into the other clothes."  Jigen glared at him.  "David can take that off on the way over and then you can keep it for her."

"We left the pictures back in the room," Xander pointed out.

"We left many things back in the room, Xan, we'll get them while you chat with Buffy."  Lupin got in to sit in the passenger's seat, but Jigen pushed him over.  "This way you could peek back in the mirror," he offered.

Jigen looked at him.  "We'd have a wreck."  He slid into the passenger's seat, turning to watch Xander once his door was closed and they were on their way.  "Go ahead.  No one will care."  Xander blushed but she did as ordered.  She took off her shirt, then her bra, letting it all hang out.  Then the skirt and panties were wiggled off, her legs pointing toward Jigen.  "Give me one last kiss?"

Xander leaned forward, kissing him with all she had.  "I'll be back like this within weeks," she promised with a purr of contentment.  One of the long-fingered hands had slipped over the seat and was teasing her.  "Please?" she begged.  "Just a little touch?"  She shifted forward, giving him a better angle.  "Please, Jigen."  He groaned, kissing her again.  "I'll do *anything*," she said, heaving her chest dramatically.  He noticed they had parked and Lupin was getting out.  "Where are we?"

"Parking garage," Lupin told him.  "Ten minutes, kids."  He got out to smoke a cigarette, it was only decent after all.  The sounds coming out of the car was incredibly arousing and Lupin was feeling it too.  He'd have to do something about that soon.  He pulled out a second cigarette to smoke to give them a few extra minutes and give his hands something to do.  He didn't want to expose himself publically in a downtown parking garage in Cleveland.  Finally he heard mutual groans and screams and stamped out that one, tapping on the window before getting back in.  He found Jigen back in the front seat, dressed and immaculate, and Xander putting on a t-shirt in the back.  Still no pants.  "We done?"  They nodded.  "Good.  Xander, I still want you like that at least one day a week to work with Goemon.  The moves will transfer over but it can only help."  He leaned back, stealing his own kiss.  "You two are so hot."

"Thanks."  She pulled on the underwear and then the pants, sitting cross-legged in the seat.  She looked at Jigen, who nodded.  "Later, Lupin?"

"Shit yes."  He started the car, pulling out and paying the nice tollkeeper.  It was worth the two bucks, and more.  Jigen was relaxed and smiling again!

***

Buffy woke up, moaning as she held her head.  "What happened?"

"Nothing much.  You got hit on the head with a big lead pipe, Buffy," Xander said softly, one leg swinging over the arm of the chair.  "I remember that headache, it was great and confounding."

"Xan?" she whispered, looking at him.  "You're here?  Am I dead?" she demanded, forcing herself to sit up.  "Are you my punishment?"

"Well, I may be your punishment when you go again but I'm not this time," Xander assured her.  "Let's say that we got a mayday and we came."  He stood up.  "It's handled."

"Handled, what's handled?" Buffy asked, grabbing his arm.  She looked into his eyes.  "What's handled mean?"

"It means the thing that got you is no longer a problem and that you're going to be fine.  Dawn's back to look after her nephews for awhile while she makes some choices.  Have a Smokey the Bear-Cop moment, Buff, only you can prevent her from following me into the life I'm happy with."  He gave her a kiss on top of the head.  "I'll leave now.  You get better and be safe."

"You're not staying?  Why don't you come back?" she pleaded.

"Because you can never go back.  I like my new life, Buffy.  My boss and friends appreciate me."

"For what?" she asked.  Then she covered her mouth.

He nodded.  "They don't have to ask that.  That's why they're my friends."  He walked out, heading down to the car.  "I'm done.  Let's go home."

Lupin looked back from his paper.  "You sure?  That wasn't a great goodbye."

"It was more than she deserved.  Let's go or I'm driving."

"Okay."  He put down his paper, waking Jigen from his nap.  "To the airport we are heading.  Pop's speech to the city was very rousing.  He called us the biggest threat on the face of the earth to sanity and decency."  He put the car into gear and backed out of the parking spot.  "He still thinks you're a woman.   Call Marcus, Jigen."

Jigen picked up the carphone, dialing the shop.  "Marcus," he demanded tiredly.  The phone was handed over.  "We're going.  You following now or later?"  He smirked.  "Have her do that.  It'll save us energy."  He hung up.  "Head back to the shop.  Dawn's doing a nifty thing to get us back to Paris.  The maze starts today."  Lupin groaned.  "Come on, let's go.  Xander and I are both scheduled to go through it."

"I thought you wanted me to go through alone," Xander said, looking confused.

"You are, then we're going through it together, then the team.  Got it?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Come on, Lupin."

"I'm waiting for the woman in the wheelchair to move," he pointed out, pointing at her.  As soon as she was out of his way, he sped past her, heading back to the shop.  They parked the car and got out, grabbing the bags from the back.  Lupin walked in and tossed the keys to David.  "Return it for us no later than tomorrow."  He nodded at Dawn, who was wearing a shirt she had left back at the house.  "You're sure?"  She nodded.  "Then I wish you luck and prosperity."  She pulled him to the side to whisper in his ear.  He smirked.  "You were getting ripped off, princess.  I can do that however.  I'll email later this week."

"Hey, I thought I was the princess," Xander complained.  Giles gave him a double take.  "Yes, the necklace is now off me, I am me again.  I'll be having some hot man lovin' later tonight and then I'll probably put on the necklace to celebrate any and all accomplishments I may have over the next week."  Giles shook his head, frowning at him.  "Were you as shocked as Wes when the demon said I was a flawed sacrifice?" he taunted.  "Yes, Xander had man lovin' way back before the Initiative fiasco.  He had a lot of man lovin' in those days, when he was young and pretty and people offered to pay him for it.  He also had some woman lovin' of the same sort and it was about as good.  Now that Xander's had it as the woman, he knows what he was missing.  You wouldn't *believe* what happens after the tenth orgasm."  He walked through the portal, heading up to give Fujiko the necklace he had stolen while they were shopping.  "For you, my dear," he said, presenting it with a flourish.  "I hope you feel good enough to join us."  He kissed her on the cheek.  "Come on, Goemon, we've portalled back and I've got the maze today.  Did Dawn take her bike?"

"No, she said you can have it," Fujiko said with a grin.  "Have fun."  She twiddled her fingers as he whooped and headed down to break out the bad machine.  "He's so cute, like a wild version of Lupin."

Goemon laughed.  "He is unique, but you are correct.  He is rather cute and fun."  Lupin came in to present his wife with gifts as well.  "From both of you?"

"No, just from me.  Jigen hasn't had time to pick up any crayons and draw her another picture."  He grinned.  "Xander?"

"Dawn left Xander her bike," Fujiko told him.  "I think he headed off to do the maze by himself."

"It's his scheduled time tonight so I'm not surprised.  Hopefully he remembered a weapon this time."

Jigen came in with a drawn picture of a person with 'x's for eyes and a round stomach.  "Here.  Feel better soon."  He looked around.  "Xan?"

"Dawn left him her motorcycle," Goemon said tolerantly.  Jigen and his wife would never get along.

"I was wondering why he was dancing down to the weapon's range."  He shrugged and walked out, listening as the bike roared off into the early evening.  "He's gonna be late."

"I called ahead," Lupin called, heading for his own room.  He needed to grab his plans for the maze.  That way the rest of them would have time to get dressed.  "We're leaving in an hour," he shouted before closing his door.  Everyone went running to pack a bag.

***

Xander walked up to the register, giving him a polite nod.  "Morning."

"Name?"

"Use or actual?"

"Either is fine."

"Lavelle."  The man blinked at him.  "Use.  I'm going through by myself, with my teacher, and with my group. Lupin said so."

"Okay."  He looked in that folder, finding it.  "I see you are registered. You're late."  Xander shrugged.  "Arrogance will get you killed in there."

"I was in Cleveland this morning killing a soul eater.  I'm lucky I made it here now."  The man looked at him.  "What?" he asked patiently.

"This maze has supernatural elements.  What sort of experience do you have with such?"

"Before Sunnydale exploded or after?"  The man gaped.  He held out his hand with a grin.  "Xander Harris.  I worked beside Buffy Summers until she fucked me over and then Jigen trained me."  The man carefully shook it.  "Demonic isn't a problem, but they might react to me funny.  I promise not to use any of my stunning tattoos."

"Thank you.  That's appreciated."  He made a note on the boy's registration form, noticing that under 'paranormal experience' a new word was written, 'expert', and checked.  He looked at him.  "What's your main focus?"

"Well, let's see."  He canted his weight off to the side while he considered it.  "I was dating demons, got possessed by a soldier, a hyena, and a littler known possession by something that liked to bake for a few days.  I fought the Initiative with them.  I was coated with chemicals to turn me into a mermaid.  I dated a number of demons.  Vampires like me a lot."  He looked at him.  "I can't remember anything else off the top of my head.  Oh, besides the fact that I was given to a higher demon as a sacrifice against my will.  That's why I'll be keeping my shirt on."

The register looked impressed.  "Good.  Lupin deals with strange stuff.  You'll obviously be an asset to them."  Xander grinned.  "Take your position.  You're allowed whatever you can carry."  Xander held up his gun.  "That's permissible.  Take this," he said, handing over a whistle.  "If you give up or are dying, blow it and we'll come get you.  We've already had two deaths today.  Both were near the doors."  Xander shrugged and put it around his neck.  "Do you have all the spares you'll need?"

"I do," Xander agreed.  "I've got comfy shoes, comfy clothes, my hair's back, my sunglasses are in my back pocket if I run long.  I've got six spare clips in my pockets and a pocket that's filled with extra bullets.  I've also got a roll of lifesavers and a roll of gum in case I need it.  Can I bring a soda in with me?"  The register shrugged so he went to the nearest machine and grabbed two, tucking one under his arm as he gulped it.  It was soon dead and he popped the other can open, taking a sip.  "Whenever you're ready.  I'll send the can out by shooting it over the walls."  The man led him to the doorway, leaving him there.  The door slid open and Xander took two deep breaths before walking inside.  His hand was chilled by the can, that was how he was keeping himself calm.  "I can do this. Jigen said I'm better than nearly everyone," he reminded himself as he walked.  A sound made him pull his gun but it was an innocent vine creature writhing on the ground.  He poured some coke on it, making it shriek and wither.  "Take that," he said happily, finishing the can off.  Then he shot it back over the front wall, heading off into the maze.  This wasn't his sort of puzzle but he could deal with it.  Lupin had told him the secret to finding your way in a maze.

***

Lupin walked into Xander's room two days after they got back from the exercises, giving him a look.  The place had some more items in it now, including two large steamer trunks at the foot of the bed and signs on the closet doors.  "Xander's clothes and Lavelle's clothes," he read.  Xander came out of his bathroom.  "You could wear your own clothes on the job part of the time," he offered. He sat on the bed, watching the boy towel dry his hair.  Xander had taken his prize money for a second place finish as a duo, a first place and only surviving single entrant, and their first place group finish and had turned it into a massive shopping spree, including getting his bike tuned up and buying a lot of 'Xander' clothes.  Plus some 'Sylvia' clothes and some more 'Lavelle' clothes.  The boy had come back with the Benz's trunk full of clothes bags.  It had made even Fujiko give him a look like he was insane.

Xander walked over and opened the 'Xander' side of the closet, showing off the print shirts.  "I don't think it fits in with the corporate image around here.  I'll wear them off duty."  He touched the new solitaire in his left ear, twisting it to make sure it was free of hair and wasn't sticking.  "How the new job looking?"  He flopped down beside him and turned on the cd player at a low volume.

"It's looking good," Lupin admitted, giving him a pat on the back.  "The only problem we'll have is getting the old guy's attention.  He's a ballroom dancing freak."

"Is that hard to learn?"

"No, not really.  Jigen and I both know some and so does Marcus apparently.  He was brushing up Jigen's skills earlier.  Want to turn back into Sylvia and come learn?"  Xander shrugged and stood up, stripping off before putting the choker on himself.  He only put it on himself.  They were letting him decide when and where to wear it.  Then Lupin walked over to the wardrobe, pulling a face when he saw it.  "Xander, I thought you bought new clothes."

"I did, but they're in the wash.  I always try to wash stuff that I buy, just in case the person who tried it on before me had some funky skin disease."  He looked in there and groaned.  "The infamous purple outfit.  I guess it'll have to do."  He pulled out the short shirt and crop top, putting them on.  Then he pulled his hair back into a low ponytail and found a pair of high heels.  "Okay, let's go."  She walked down the stairs, ignoring Marcus' startled look.  Jigen was waiting on them in the formal sitting room, and also gave him a look.  "Everything else is in the wash," he said with a small shrug, making the tits bounce.  "Shall we dance?"

Jigen smirked.  "You can't dance in that."

"It's either this or I'm wearing a Xander shirt.  You know how tight those things are on this chest."

Jigen shivered, then took her into his arms, moving her into position.  "It's a stiff upper body form," he warned.  "There are specific movements."

"In that outfit, you should learn the Tango first," Lupin offered as he walked in so he could start the music.  Jigen gave him a look.

"I'll be learning the dance of love later, thank you," Xander said patiently.  He let Jigen lead, feeling the stiff movements as they moved.  "Okay.  White people invented this, right?"  Both older men nodded.  "Got it, stiff, rich, white guy dancing."  Jigen laughed but he was right.

"Exactly," Lupin agreed.  "We'll be using that to make them less rich and even more stiff."

"Gee, that's almost as bad as Mark's riding comment," Xander quipped. Jigen growled softly.  "Like I wanted him to touch me that way.  He's an engineer, they only love their plans and their toys.  I've got a *real* man and I'm very thankful that he strokes me like he does his gun."  Jigen winked at him and they moved on.  "Ooh," he shouted, rubbing his pinched butt.  "Lupin!"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist.  I was having a Fujiko flashback," he smirked.

"My wench, get your own," Jigen told him.

"I have one, I have the more complicated wench who likes to blow me."

"She likes to blow in both forms," Xander said, breaking up the friendly argument.  "Jigen has the wench who goes on her back and begs to be held down.  Lupin has the wench who goes onto his stomach and begs to be ridden hard."  The older guys laughed.  "Come on, if I've got to learn this, we need to get to work.  I'm not the world's best dancer."

"Do it well enough and I'll put you in the necklace for a week and send you off to the Carribean," Lupin offered.  Jigen firmed his stance and started being serious.  "I'll only pack the tiniest of all bikinis, Xander."  She grinned and winked at Jigen, who shook his head.

"No, we're not going to a nude resort, wench."

"Shoot.  I wanted to try that."  She looked down at her feet and her head was pushed back up.  "Yes, dear."  They stared in a new pattern and Xander giggled, recognizing it from many cheesy movies.  "Ooh, the Lambada."

"The Tango, wench.  Get it right."

Xander paid attention, going with him.  He found out his hips could move independently of the rest of his body and it was good.

Bad Planning Makes For Imperfect Solutions

Xander walked into their hotel with a confused look on his face.  He nodded at the young man behind the check-in desk, side-stepping to grab the held out message stack and add them to his paper bag of supplies.  "Thanks."  The man grinned at him so he winked back.  "Long shift?" he asked as he stabbed the button for the elevator.

"Not really, I got to see that very nice man again.  He was so cute, he blushed at me!" he gushed.

Xander stepped into the elevator, still smiling.  "I'll tell him you said hi."  The door closed and he stabbed his button, laughing all the way up and down the hall to their rooms.  He walked in, putting the bag on the couch beside the meditating samurai.  "The desk boy said hi."  The other man let out a sound somewhere between a groan and a growl. "That's everything she asked for, plus the messages."  The bag was handed back.  "Fine, even though it's *your* baby."  The noise started to sound more like a growl so he walked quickly into the other room.  "Geez, I thought *she* was supposed to have the mood swings," he complained as he handed the bag to his boss.  "Congratulate me."

"Why?" Jigen asked from behind his crossword.

"I now have proof the world is going to hell and not even I can stop it."  Both men older men looked at him.  "I got stopped outside by a cute teenage girl."  They snorted and went to what they had been doing.  "She was a groupie.  My groupie."  He flopped down into a chair, his usual graceless sprawl found easily.  "Said I was really cute, one of the best, wanted to have sex with me and bear little Xanders.  She said she had been following our exploits and I made her century by letting her run into me.  Offered to buy me dinner and a fifth."

Jigen shook his head.  "I thought we had problems in Helsinki back in the day."

"That wasn't my fault," Lupin offered.

"Sure it was.   You're the one who slept with the ski team."

"Fine, blame it on me," Lupin said dryly.  He dug around in the bag.  "Juice?"

"Out," Xander explained.  He heard a shriek and scrambled out of the samurai's way as he rushed in to kill them.  "When are you gonna teach me that neat 'yell and rush' thing you do?" he asked with an impish grin.  The man groaned so Xander took pity on him, sitting him in front of the chair as he sat down again.  "Relax, big guy.  It'll be okay.  She'll sleep again."  He worked on the tense shoulders, making him groan.  "Was she cleaning again?" he asked soothingly.  He could feel the blush before the head shook.  "That too will end soon.  Soon she'll feel *fat* and you'll be able to be nice, sweet, and dedicated to making her feel like her old self.  After she takes another nap."  He worked the tense muscles harder, making him moan and relax.  "Why don't you take a long soak?" he suggested quietly.  Goemon nodded.  "I'll do more on your back after you nap in the water."  The other man gave him a look.  "I promise I'll be nice.  I won't make any dirty jokes or anything," he offered.  Goemon nodded, heading in to hog the bathroom for now.  Xander went limp again.  "Someone needs to look at the book and see how long this lasts."

"Up to another month," Lupin sighed, glancing at the bathroom door.  "Nice work, he's been tense all week."

"Goemon!" Fujiko yelled from next door.

Lupin stood but Jigen beat him to the door.  He walked to the next room, tapping on the door before walking in.  He had less tact, the bad news would sound easier coming from him. "He's trying to sleep."  She scowled at him.  "He nearly attacked us and he's napping in the tub." She sniffled.  "Put on some clothes and come sit with us," he patiently ordered.  She nodded, doing that.  He rolled his eyes once her back was turned.  He'd never do this to a woman!  He walked her down the hall as soon as she had a robe on, sitting her in Lupin's chair since he had moved.

"You missed it, Fuji, I got a groupie," Xander said happily.

She snorted.  "Have fun with them."

"Nah, I let the little dear run away."  He grinned.  "I'll be working on your man's back later, should I pencil you in for some Xander attention?"

She gave him a scowl then snorted.  "You won't get him into bed, kid.  Lupin couldn't and he tried for years."

He snickered.  "I'm going to be working on the knot in his shoulders, not the formality rod he seems to have sat on in his youth."  She laughed at that, liking that description.  "Want me to do your feet or ankles?"

She shook her head.  "I'm fine for now.  I'll remember that in a few months."  She looked at the bathroom door.  "Who's with him?"  She could hear voices in there.

"Lupin probably," Jigen told her.  "Marcus isn't back yet and the desk boy is still downstairs."  She sneered at him for that crack.

"Don't worry, we'll deal with him so he can't steal what's clearly yours," Xander promised.  He patted his holster when she gave him an amused look.  "Not exactly my type, dear."

She laughed.  "I'm sure you will if Marcus doesn't."  She wiggled until she got comfortable.  "Did you find the chips I wanted?"

"Not the brand but the flavor," Xander promised, pointing at the bag.  She squealed and snatched it, digging in to find her chips.  "They only had little bags so I got you two," he said, giving her a tolerant look.  She grinned, popping open the first so she could soothe this latest craving.  She ate four and put it aside, the real reason Xander had gotten the small bags.

Lupin came out of the bathroom, shaking his head as he shut the door.  "He's out."  He gave Fujiko a gentle pat on the shoulder.  "Give him a few hours.  Let us pamper our godchild."

"You can't steal my title as the King of Spoiling," Xander joked.  "I won't let you."

"We can spoil his baby too," Jigen told him.

"Behave or I'm finding your groupie so she can have you," Lupin joked.  Xander pouted. "Behave or *I* will be doing your next birthday party."  Xander grinned, that had been a weak threat.  Fine, time to go for a real threat then.  "Behave and learn to share your spoiling or I'm putting the choker in the safe at the house until *you* break it free."

Xander pouted his worst and most hurt pout.  "Fine, be that way then."  He continued to pout through the chatting the older group was doing.  Finally, Fujiko looked at him so he dug into his pocket and tossed over his handkerchief.  She gave him a look but she unwrapped it.  Then she paused, squealed, and rushed over to hug him.  "You're welcome.  I thought baby samurai might like that."

She held up the small mom and baby bracelet, looking at the twinkling gems adorning the stylized swords.  "It probably will," she agreed, grinning at him.  She showed it off to the other thieves.  "See, these are the sort of presents the baby needs."

Lupin took it to look at.  "It's very pretty.  Where did you steal it, Xander?"

"It was a commission piece," he said firmly.  "An original.  I always buy the important presents so they can be used without someone looking at the owner funny."

"Just like them," Jigen said as he took it to look at.  "Suck up."  Xander grinned at that.

Lupin shook his head.  "I'm doing the nursery.  You, Jigen?"  He shrugged.  "You haven't even thought of a present yet?"

"I know what I'm giving them.  I have to go pick it up," he defended.  He gave it back to the mom.

Fujiko danced into the bathroom before anyone could stop her, waking her husband.  "Isn't it cute!" she said, letting him take it.  "Xan had it created for us.  He didn't even steal it."

That got a rare smile.  "It is cute," he agreed.  "How are you feeling?"

"We're fine.  Getting out of bed was good for us."  She kissed him on the cheek.  "Finish your nap so you can rub my stomach."  He reached over to stroke her stomach gently, making her moan.  "This is the best part of this stuff," she sighed happily.  He smirked, pulling her into the tub with him, holding her against his body so he could stroke her some more.  "Goemon, I thought you were tired."

"I'll be tired in a few minutes," he promised.  She grinned.  "The baby needs to learn that love is acceptable, before it turns into Xander."  She laughed, shifting to straddle his lap and steal a kiss.  "Mm.  Definitely be tired in a few minutes," he agreed, wrapping his arms around her.

In the other room, Xander gave them a smug look.  "I am good."

"You are," Lupin agreed.  "That's why he's tired though."  Xander winked.  "Fine, he'll nap afterward and so will she.  Why did you want them sleeping?"

Xander pulled something out of his other pocket and tossed it over.  "I found that earlier while I was in the library."  He got comfortable, watching as Lupin read the new bounty on Fujiko's head.  It said she was pregnant.  Lupin handed it to Jigen.  "I thought I should tell you before him.  He needs to sleep for a bit before he hears about that."  Goemon's moan floated out to interrupt the conversation.

Jigen shook his head.  "Why would they want her?"

"I think it's one of two things.  To do the usual and piss us off more, or someone's *his* enemy and wants *his* kid," Xander said quietly.  The other men looked hurt.  "Take your pick.  Those were the only ones I could see."

"Rat face," Lupin said, making Jigen nod.  "I can probably trace this back.  If I'm right, it is an older enemy of Goemon's.  If you're right then he's going to destroy the ninja."  Xander shrugged.  "You up to helping him?"

"If Marcus isn't, sure.  I don't need to know how to deliver a baby in a field."  Lupin smirked.  "You'd be holding her hand and Jigen would be watching for us.  Marcus would be wherever Goemon would be."  He stood up to stretch then sat back down.  "Unless you wanted to catch and I coach."

Lupin shuddered.  "No.  I don't think I could ever touch another woman again if I had to watch that sight.  That's just nasty, Xander."

Xander nodded.  "I know, that's why I said I'd do it if we had to.  I don't want to, I'd rather Marcus did it.  He's got a bit more medical training than I've gotten from the books."  He looked over as Fujiko wandered out and fell face first onto the couch.  "Was it good?" he teased.  She flipped him off.  "Now, now.  The baby can see that," he said dryly.  She turned her head to look at him, waving the finger.  "Rest, sweetie, we'll deal with the plan later."  She nodded, closing her eyes.  Jigen thoughtfully dropped the throw over her bare body, giving their boss a look.

Goemon came out of the bathroom in a towel.  "What plan?" he asked.

Lupin looked back at him.  "You still need a nap.  If I tell you, you'll worry."

"If you don't, I shall worry more.  What plan?"

Lupin handed back the notice, making him blanche.  "We don't know who yet.  I'm going to try to trace it back today.  It looks like it came through the usual channels."

Goemon looked at his wife, then at Xander.  "He was saying we were going?"  Xander nodded.  "Why you?"

"Because Jigen's needed for the plan here in town.  I'm able to travel hard and well.  Marcus still needs more training.  You need backup.  Taking care of it sooner means that it's not a future worry."  The samurai nodded.  "I know I'm not the most honorable of the group but I am very good at ambushing."

Goemon nodded.  "True. Plus you are ruthless to protect the innocent.  When it is time, I will bring you with me.  Jigen may work with Marcus and Lupin can if he wants to."  He looked at his wife again.  "She will be safe," he said firmly.

"Even if I have to send her home with a bodyguard," Lupin promised.  "I'm not letting anything happen to her or the baby, Goemon.  You know that."  The samurai nodded, heading back to his bath.  "Stay and soak for a while.  It'll take me a few to track this back."  He got up, heading into his bedroom to play on his computer.  This could turn out really bad.

***

Xander looked out of the alley as his target came nearer to his position, tensing slightly.  As soon as the man passed him he grabbed him, turning and slamming him into the wall he had been leaning on.  "Morning," he said cheerfully, grinning at the guy.

"If you're here about the bounty, I want proof," he said haughtily.

"Well, yes, and no," Xander said, giving him a patient look.  "See, I'm here about the bounty, yeah.  I'm not here to collect it."  The man started to look scared.  "Let me introduce myself.  I am Lavelle.  Second to Jigen.  Student of Lupin the Third and Goemon.  You are in deep shit."  The man tried to struggle but Xander grabbed him by the throat.  "Come on," he hissed, "make me lose it and take you out.  I'll have fun on top of your dead body for days, dancing the dance of death."  The man's eyes bulged, his face was turning blue because he couldn't breathe.  "The proud father wants to talk to you, asshole.  Let's go."  He switched his grip, immobilizing the man as he pulled him off.  He got one good struggle in but Xander was ready for it and kicked his ass slightly.  He bloodied that big nose when he kicked it, breaking it.  "I said, let's go.  You've got a fucking date and I am Death's second.  You're trying to take away my spoiling fun.  It's one of the few pure pleasures in my life."

The man gave him a desperate look, then around, but there wasn't anyone near them.  A few bums were up the alley but they turned away from him.  "Please," he begged.  "I'll fight Goemon."

"No, if it comes down to a fight, you'll fight me," Xander said firmly.  "I'm not letting the baby grow up like I did."  He walked into the back door of the cheap hotel, dragging him up the four flights of stairs.  He knocked politely on the door, waiting while Goemon opened it.  Then he presented him.  "Can I hurt him more?"

"No, Lavelle.  He is mine to hurt," Goemon said calmly, looking him in the eyes.  "He is no worse than the monsters you used to slay, yet not as bad as some of them.  I can handle this."  He drug his enemy into the room, pushing him into a chair.  Xander took up a position in front of the door.  "You put out a bounty on my unborn child's head," he said coldly.  "You have upset my wife.  You have upset me.  You are dangerously close to losing not only your honor, but making me forget I ever had any.  You are a spineless dog who knows no shame and very little about honor."  The man looked up at him from his dripping eyes.  "I thought that our last meeting would have cured this problem of yours."  The man swallowed as Goemon reached for his sword.  "I should deal with you now instead of challenging you to honorable combat."

"No," Xander said firmly.  "No combat."  Goemon looked at him and the idiot took the opportunity to try and run.  Xander drew quickly and hit him in the ankle, making him shriek  "Lupin's orders, Goemon, you are not to put yourself into any danger of dying over this."  They locked eyes.  "He wants your baby to know its real father, not him as a stepfather," he said quietly.

Goemon nodded.  "I understand that.  Combat is still the honorable alternative, unless he wants to commit suicide instead of facing me."  He looked at the mewling man on the floor, sneering at him.  "Do you accept?"

"I can't beat you," the ninja complained, holding his bleeding ankle.  He looked at Xander, whose eyes let him know his options very well.  "Will it be an honorable fight?"

"On my side," Goemon told him.  "Xander is there as a witness, not to kill you for me.  Unless I say otherwise."

"At least you'll give me a clean death," he whined.  Xander shot the hand he had been inching toward his pocket.  "Hey!"  Xander gave a little shrug.  "Fine, I'm not moving."  He looked at the samurai again, noticing the look he was giving the boy.  "You don't like him?"

"I do like him.  He spoils my wife when I am incapable of it.  He finds little trinkets that amuse her to no end.  I appreciate my students fully."  The ninja swallowed.  "Feel lucky you are meeting this one instead of my true student.  He would beg to take you on for my pleasure.  He is more than good enough to do so."  He hauled the man to his feet, staring into his eyes.  "Either you meet me tomorrow at sunrise or you end your miserable life tonight," he growled.  "Your choice."

"As such, we've taken the liberty of getting you a room next to ours," Xander told him, grinning madly at him.  "I'm sure you'll find it quite pleasant.  It has all the facilities but the windows and door."  The man looked at him again and he winked.  "What?  Don't trust me?  Goemon will hold me back.  For now."

"If I die, he can go free until he tries something," Goemon ordered.  "It is honorable."

Xander gave him an incredulous look. "You're kidding, right?"  The samurai shook his head.  "That's fucked in the head, Goemon.  If he wins, the first call he makes had better be to his priest for a confession.  Lupin and Jigen would both kill me if he manages to live past you."

"He won't," Goemon said firmly.  "You still may not kill him if he wins unless he makes a move toward the one you shall guard in my absence."  Xander looked stunned.  "Fujiko may remarry but I will expect you to be a big brother to my child."  Xander nodded, looking really pleased.  "Thank you.  Take him next door.  Retrieve any weapon he desires to bring with him."  He sat down, waiting while he orders were carried out.  He had to control this rage within him.  Being a father was harder on his self control than anything he had ever fought against.

***

Xander opened his phone, pacing in the emergency room.  "Hey.  He won, barely."  He stopped.  "Hey, Fuji.  No, he's okay," he lied, biting his lip.  "No, you can't.  He got a little bumped up so he's asleep.  Sure, just as soon as he wakes up," he promised, meaning it.  As soon as Goemon could form words, he'd be putting the phone into his hands.  Lupin stole the phone back.  "Get her calmed down.  It's on the news."  He hung up, lifting his head as a familiar whistling started.  "Shit."  He sprinted back to the cubicle, startling the nurse.  "I may need to move him to protect him.  Is that possible?"  She shook her head, pointing at him.

"Ah-ha!  Now I've got two of you again!" Zenigata said happily from the doorway.  Xander pulled his gun and he gave the boy a scared look.  "Don't do that in here.  There are innocent bystanders, including the nurse," he said calmly, moving inside.  He noticed the man on the bed.  "What happened to him?"

"Someone put a bounty on Fuji's head.  He dealt with them."  The nurse turned pale and passed out.  "Good."  He pointed his gun at the cop again.  "We're going to leave.  You can chase us all you want once you get free."

"Free?  I'm not tied up."

Xander muttered something and the cop found himself tied up in a magical rope on the floor.  "Yeah, you are."  He checked the bed, taking the IV bag off the pole and laying it on the pillow.  "Been a while since I've done this," he apologized.  The other one opened the curtain.  "Hey.  Just leaving."

The rookie glared at him.  "I don't think so."

"So don't think, it'll make the job less boring."  He pulled his gun and winged the guy.  "Thank you."  Fortunately he did have a silencer.  "Sorry, Pops, but the baby always comes first.  I only nicked him, he'll be fine."  He pushed the bed out of the cubicle, making the staring nurses stare at him.  "Give us five," he pleaded.  "He was defending his unborn son."  The nurse opened her mouth so he gave her a kiss on the cheek.  "The other guy was evil.  Please?" he asked, giving it his best shot.  She mutely nodded.  "Thanks, it was just a graze and I've been using those new clean bullets.  Thanks tons, sweetie."  He pushed the bed out, putting it into the back of a waiting ambulance, which he stole.  This was going to be a bad week, he just knew it would be.

He dialed one handed.  "We are so fucked," he told the familiar voice answering it.  "No, we're presently stealing an ambulance.  Not only was it on the news, *both* of them showed up.  I tied up Gramps and winged the kid.  It was all I could do!  I was trapped in the room with him!  They were in the doorway, Jigen!  He'll be fine, I got him on the elbow.  He'll only need a bandage.  Yes, exit strategy would be nice.  I'm nearly panicking.  Goemon is badly hurt.  As in tied to machines to make sure he's gonna live badly hurt."  He winced when he heard Fujiko start crying.  "Next time, don't put me on speaker!" he ordered.  "He's more fine than that, Fuji, I promise, sweetheart.  He's on an IV or two and he's got a few good cuts and one largish hole in his leg that's already been pressure bandaged.  He'll be just fine if I can get him to someone who won't kill us or turn us in."  He smiled.  "Thank you.  Yeah, I can find it.  If not, I can stop and ask for directions.  Would that really matter at this moment in time?" he asked dryly.  He glanced back.  "He's coming around, let me toss the phone back.  Goemon?"  The man moaned so he tossed the phone onto his chest. "Lupin and Fujiko."

Goemon picked up the phone, putting it to his ear with his free hand.  "Get away from my woman.  She is mine," he said tiredly.  Then he passed out again.

Xander rolled his eyes.  "Some things do persist in a hazy state.  Good to know."  He sped up, making the next light.  He turned on the sirens, earning a clear road, as much as was possible in Hong Kong traffic.  He basically knew where the underworld doctor was that Lupin had told him to go find.  At least he knew the bar where he hung out.  He got Goemon into a nameless inn then went hunting for him after ditching the ambulance.  Of course, he raided it.  Whatever the doctor didn't need he could keep as a present.  Xander walked into the Yakuza bar, earning many surprised stares.  He waved and walked up to the bartender.  "My name is Lavelle.  I've had a medical emergency crop up with my mentor's friend.  I need Dr. Fischer.  Can you point me to a way of contacting him?"  The man's hand shook as he pointed up the stairs.  "Which room?"

"Two," the man whispered.

"Thanks." Xander gave him a hundred Yen note then ran up the stairs, pounding on the door.  "Doc?" he called, walking in.  The prostitute gave him a look.  "Sorry, babe, but I need the doctor."  She raised her hand.  "Oops, sorry.  Lupin seemed to think you were male."

"I've never had to treat him and most people do.  Who are you?" she asked as she grabbed her robe.

"I'm Lavelle.  Goemon was facing the person who put a bounty on his pregnant wife.  He's in bad shape.  We had to run from the hospital.  He's lost about two pints of blood, I hooked up a second IV bag, the pressure bandage on his leg is really nasty by now, and he's shaking."  She stared at him.  "It's all from a book," he said, plainly begging.  "Please?"

"I'm coming.  It was more in reaction to who you were.  You did the maze."  He nodded, standing straighter.  "You run with Lupin the Third?"

"Jigen's my mentor, he trained me."

"Oh."  She smiled.  "I remember him.  Let's go."  She finished wrapping the kimono around her, heading down after him.  The bartender gave her the case she used as a medical bag.  "How far away is he?"

"Next block over.  I put him into a cheap ass, nasty hotel, but I made sure it was clean room."

"Good job.  You don't handle this well."

"I hate being alone.  I work much better as part of a group.  Besides, he's got a pregnant wife and she's got to be panicking.  They put me on speaker after we had to break out of the hospital."  He opened the door, leading her up to the room.  He knocked first.  "It's me," he called as he opened the door.  The rookie was standing there, glaring at him.  "Goemon!"  He walked over to check on him, then punched the rookie, knocking him out.  "Take that, asshole."

She laughed.  "You definitely are a man of action."  She looked at the supplies.  "Robbed the ambulance?"

"I figured you could use it if you didn't use it now," he offered, getting out of her way by dragging the rookie across the room.  "I only need him able to fly."

"I can probably do better than that," she promised.  She checked his bandages, nodding.  "They were thorough.  Does he not carry a sword?"

"I've got that being shipped back to Lupin right now.  I didn't want to risk it in the hospital and he'll take good care of it."

"That's fine, calm down, Lavelle," she said patiently.  "This is not as bad as it looks."  He gave her a look. "It's not.  I've treated worse in the middle of the street."  She opened her bag, working on the larger injuries first.  "Has he woken any?"

"He was awake when we got there, then he passed out.  He woke up once on the ride over and told Lupin to get away from his wife."  She chuckled.  "Fujiko is precious to him now that he has her.  Her and the baby."  His phone rang and he found it, opening it.  "Yeah, me."  He relaxed.  "Good.  No, she's here."  He held out the phone.  "It's Lupin."

"Of course it is."  She took it, cradling it between her neck and shoulder while she worked.  "It is not as bad as he thinks.  No, it is bad.  He will need help to make sure his leg will work properly, but he won't die from it as long as he doesn't get an infection."  She handed it back. "He's swearing."

Xander listened.  "Boss."  Pause.  "Lupin!" he said angrily.  "He'll live.  I'm the one who panics, remember your role in the group!"  He grimaced.  "Fine, take my allowance this week, are you done panicking now?"  He calmed down.  "She is.  She said he'll be fine.  I'll be taking him back to the house as soon as possible.  Unless you want him somewhere else."  He heard a muffled groan and looked at the rookie.  "Hold on."  He walked over and kicked him in the head.  "Gramps' rookie is smarter and faster.  He was waiting on us."  He took a deep breath.  "I know I know how to plan, but this is really bad, Lupin.  The only thoughts I'm thinking are running and escaping ones."  The doctor chuckled again.  "This is why Jigen said I'm not really suitable to be on my own.  I like getting orders during the worst times.  This isn't a battle and it's not a job.  It's an emergency and I'm a little out of my depth.  No, he's here on the floor," he said, looking at the rookie.  "I got him on the elbow.  It's bandaged.  Yes, in the hospital.  I know it was dumb, I didn't really see another way out."  He sighed.  "Are you on the speaker again?"  He handed the phone back, taking her place to clean the wound she was working on.  "He wants a clinical explanation.  My 'it's bad' wasn't informative enough," he explained.

She stood up, moving to the window.  "Lavelle, his mentor is here."

"Great.  Just what I need," Xander said bitterly.  The wound under his hand started to bleed again.  "Am I doing this right?"

"You're doing fine.  We have to clean out the tissue."  She watched as Xander went to answer the door, pulling the cop in and knocking him out with a few good blows.  "He is impressive," she told the phone.  "Both inspectors are down."  She looked at the body on the bed.  "He'll live, he'll be in pain for a while though.  His records came with them.  They were thorough at the hospital.  His leg is the worst, followed by the cut on his shoulder that is millimeters from an artery."  She looked at the leg wound.  "Possibly six centimeters.  Lavelle, what caused that?" she asked, watching him tie them up again.  "Imaginative use of ropes," she praised.

"It was a knife.  The guy had a dagger and stuck it in him as he was falling."  He ran his hands through his silver hair.  "He'll be fine, right?"  She nodded.  "Good."  He went back to cleaning him up.  "Come on, big guy, I don't want to be the only sane one around the baby.  Baby Goemon needs your sort of calm, not my sort of calm.  No one else could teach him to use the sword like you did me."  He stroked the warm forehead.  "If you don't get better, Fuji will kill me so I can guard you in the afterlife, that way I can fix all my messes.  Even though you wouldn't let me shoot him."

"That honor thing is like that," the doctor said as she came back over.  "You care for him?"

"He's a really nice guy," Xander told her, looking miserable. "He ordered me not to interfere and to let the guy live if he lived through the fight and won."  She nodded.  "It's dumb."

"It is honorable," she corrected gently. "Honor is probably not something you're used to, being American, but it is the code we live by.  It dictates all we do."  She sprayed the leg wound with something, testing it with a finger.  "He'll be fine and he'll explain it to you while he heals," she promised.

He shook his head.  "I don't think I'll ever understand that.  I'm an end game guy.  I do what's necessary. I would have shot the fucker on the street after scaring him."  He pushed his silver hair behind his ears again.  "What else can I do to help?"

"Hold his hands down," she ordered, giving him a gentle smile.  He was calmer now, it would be fine.  "I'm going to have to stitch it and he can't thrash about."  Xander nodded, leaning across the strong upper body.  He couldn't get behind him without sitting him up.  "That's fine."  She pulled out a stitching pack and opened it, pulling out a clean set of gloves first.  "This will look very nasty," she warned.  "What will you do with your captured officers?"

"Leave them here," he said dryly.  "Someone should find them by tomorrow.  We like Gramps and his rookie, but I can't let them stop Goemon from getting back to Fujiko."

"Fujiko Mine?" she asked, frowning.  Xander nodded.  "That's his wife?"  He nodded again, smirking at her.  "How?  Last I heard, she was Lupin's."

"Goemon and she got together over something being taken from him.  She was the only one nearby and Lupin was all-but stranded on an island incommunicado at the time.  She comforted him and they figured each other out finally.  She's been kicking his ass recently though.  Constant sex drive and then mood swings."

She laughed.  "It is usually that way with pregnant woman.  How far along is she?"

"Just under five months," he said with a grin.  "She's doing great most of the time but he's a very possessive future daddy and treats her like a national treasure.  He does neat things like picking her up and putting her into the bed."

The doctor laughed.  "I'm sure she can break him of that habit eventually."  She pulled out the needle, glancing at the groaning cops again.  "I need silence to work," she ordered coldly. "Shut up or I shall have him shoot you."

Zenigata glared at her.  "Who are you to talk to us that way?"

"Gramps, shut it!  The guy who did this to Goemon put out a bounty on Fuji!"  Zenigata turned pale.  "He's the other guy from the fight."

"Why didn't you kill him?"

"Goemon," Xander said simply.  He looked down again, seeing the partially open eyes.  "She said you can't thrash," he explained.  "I'm not cuddling you."  That got a small smirk before the samurai passed out again.  "He's been doing that."

"I'd expect it from the level of injury," she reassured him.  In a few years, he'd be more calm about such things.  "Have you never seen bad injuries before?"

"My own," he admitted.  "I lost an eye at twenty to a big guy with really sharp thumbnails."  She winced, shaking her head.  "I've also been the victim of constant torture and pain.  I don't like others to suffer."

Zenigata snorted.  "When?"

"Before Jigen and I hooked up," Xander said softly.  He glanced over.  "My so-called friends that you met in Cleveland.  The one who died helped give me to the creature with Marcus' dad."  The inspector gave him a long look. "Someone healed me.  I had open sores for over a year on parts of my body."

"You seemed fine when we had you in jail," Zenigata said suspiciously.

"I refused to let the doctor look at me," Xander said with a shrug.  "He tried and I struggled.  Jigen stepped in and said I refused medical attention.  The guards found a few of the marks and tried to say something until my foot went up someone's nose."

"Their reports...."

"Weren't complete when you were there, Gramps.  Nor will they ever be.  The guys didn't get to do more than strip me down to my undershirt and pants.  They only saw the ones on my back and the whip marks that hadn't healed yet.  Not even Jigen saw them until the first time in Cleveland."  He shook his head.  "Why am I explaining myself to you?"  He went back to his helping, doing the best he could with book information in a real world setting.  "This is why I hate formal education.  If I had learned this in a hands-on way, I'd be a better helper."

She gave him a small smile.  "You're doing fine.  It's clear you're inexperienced but fine."  The phone rang.  "Will they not stop?"

Xander answered the phone.  "We're tryin' ta work here," he pleaded.  "Give us an hour."  He hung up, tossing the phone aside.  "That was Jigen, he'll give us an hour."

She laughed.  "I shouldn't need much beyond that."

***

Lupin looked up as Jigen came back looking upset.  "What?  More bad news?"

"He said they're working and to call back in an hour."  He sat down, looking at the ceiling.  "He'll be fine.  Fischer's supposed to be a decent doctor, not like some of the hacks.  She did really well when she treated my arm that time."

"She?"  Jigen nodded.  "I thought it was a guy."  He shrugged and settled in to wait, staring at the clock.  Fujiko moaned from the bedroom.  "You okay?" he called, getting up to take care of her.  It'd kill more time and she needed some comfort. He helped her sit up.  "You all right, Fuji-cakes?"

"Fine," she croaked.  He got her some water and handed the glass over, watching as she drank it.  "Do we have an update yet?"

Lupin shrugged.  "They're working on him now.  They're still at the hotel."

"That's a good sign," she said, clutching at the thin straw.  "If she didn't move him, it's a really good thing, right?"  He nodded so she relaxed some.  "What else?"

"Xander's probably still grumbling about honorable combat being dumb, he was in a little bit of a panic.  I think he had some flashbacks to his own captivity."  He stroked her hair.  "Nothing will happen," he promised softly.  She looked up at him.  "It won't.  Xander sent his sword back earlier so nothing could happen to it while they were at the hospital.  The doctor is with him.  They've got Pops and his rookie tied up in the room since they were in town."  She nodded, leaning against his chest.  "Even if something happens, we're going to be there for you.  Goemon called me before the fight and said he expected me to take you in and take care of you.  Xander gets to be the baby's big brother, but I'm going to take care of you.  Marcus can teach it the sword."  She laughed bitterly, starting to cry.  "Shh, it'll be all right.  Xander does know how to do things, he only panicked because he's inexperienced in this area."

"You'd think he'd have better sense about injuries."

"He probably does, but he's been off since last night," he soothed.  "Goemon freaked him out and he's still probably blaming himself."  Jigen opened the door and they locked glances.  "What?" he asked cautiously.

"Hong Kong was just hit with a small earthquake.  There's no cell service to the area now."

Lupin groaned.  "I thought he was supposed to be free of the bad karma."

"Is there any word on damage?" Fujiko asked, sitting up to look at him.  He shook his head.  "The news?"  He nodded and Lupin helped her up, helping her settle in on the couch.  "Doesn't he have the satellite phone?"

"No, he's got my old one," Lupin admitted.  "I've got the sat phone."  He stroked her hair then went to look at the official news online.

***

Xander looked up, straining as he held the ceiling panel up.  "Got 'em?" he groaned.  The doctor nodded, moving the rookie out of harm's way.  He let it go, falling down beside it.  "Did Goemon take any more damage?"  She shook her head, looking at him.  "What?"

"You're damn handy to have around," she told him.

He gave her a self-conscious grin.  "Yeah, I kinda am.  I lived in California for a long time."  He looked at the groaning men.  Then at the collapsed doorway and hallway.  "I'm not the one to ask about how to get down though.  I can't do walls very well."

"That's fine.  We can institute a pulley system if we have to."  She checked the inspectors briefly then went to look at her main patient.  "He'll be fine, Xander.  He's asleep in the regular manner.  Help me grab the box of supplies, we'll need them."

He nodded, gathering up the spilled supplies, letting her take charge of them. Now that this was a disaster instead of an emergency, he was much better.  His old training was all for disasters.  They rigged the bed sheets to move everyone over the broken edge of the floor, and the doctor stayed with them until they were in the bottom level of the inn.  They made it outside in time to feel the secondary quake, Xander guarding Goemon's body with his own while the old wooden buildings around them shivered and shimmied. "Shit, this sucks," he decided.  The doctor laughed and gave him a kiss on the cheek.  "What do I have to do to continue to treat him?  I know you've now got more patients than ever."

"For right now, I want you to keep his leg clean and bandaged tightly.  I want you to clean those other wounds every four hours with alcohol, preferably rubbing instead of drinking.  I want you to rebandage as needed."  Xander nodded.  "Then I want you to sit down and get all this panic out of your system, young man.  It'll only get worse soon."  Xander nodded, taking a deep breath like he had been taught.  "Good boy.  What do you want to do with them?"

"Leave them," Xander decided.  "They're safe enough out here.  There will be cops and firemen down here soon enough."  Zenigata gave him an incredulous look.  "I could have let you die in there," he pointed out. "You're fine, you're living, and your rookie has a bad head injury on top of the small one I gave him.  If I let you go, you'd come after us instead of helping him.  If she wants to, she can get you free as soon as we've turned the corner."  He stood up, hoisting Goemon onto his back.  "As you want, Doc. Thank you.  If you ever need me, yell.  Or if you want paid, yell," he said with a grin.

"I'll send your boss the bill."  He nodded, accepting that.  "Have a good trip."

Xander grinned.  "Hopefully."  He stumbled off.  This guy was really heavy!   The respectable part of the city was close by so he got a car there and headed to the docks.  There were always cruise ships around.  He found an office for a major line and got them booked onto it, saying they couldn't handle being here for the aftershocks.  Goemon's condition was stated as 'panic attacks and a strong sedative after being hurt in the first shake by a ceiling'.  They accepted that and his boss' card number.  The ship would be in that night so he sat Goemon in the lobby while he went to ditch the car, coming back to sit beside him and keep him alive.  They could get clothes on the ship.

***

Lupin looked up as his computer beeped at him, turning off the screen saver with a flick of his mouseball.  He smirked.  "That boy is fucking amazing," he announced.  Jigen and Fujiko both looked at him, Marcus had been knocked out as soon as he started to panic and was still out.  "My credit card was just charged for a double steamer room on a cruise ship heading for LA."

"Didn't Xander have his own wallet?" Jigen asked, looking concerned.

"He apparently doesn't," Lupin agreed.  "I'll send everything he needs to LA's harbor and tell them that it's a copy because the original was lost in the quake."  He wrote an email to the ship's company telling them the same thing, then gathered up the extra passports and some cash.  He would send a weapon but it wouldn't get through American Customs.  Besides, he could buy one in LA for cheap if he needed one.

Fujiko came over to look at the invoice.  "Why haven't they called?"

"The phone was probably destroyed or left behind in the quakes," Jigen soothed, sitting her back down again.  She struggled but he did it anyway.  "Sit there.  You can't get too upset."

"I can so!" she shouted. Marcus groaned and she kicked him.  "Get up!  If I have to worry, so do you!"

He woke up and looked at her, then reached over to touch her stomach.  The baby always moved for him.  It did this time as well.  He sighed and slumped, nodding.  Lupin also looked relieved.  "It will be fine.  Xander is one of the most creative men I know," he reminded her.  "I'm sure he'll get in touch with us soon."

"He'd better," Lupin agreed. "I'm having to send him money."

"Send him his own debit card," Marcus told him.

Jigen looked stunned, then shook his head and went to look through the bag Xander had left with them.  He brought it and his spare passport out, handing them over.  "He's been saving his cut so he can retire sooner than we have."

"Good," Lupin agreed.  "He needs to.  Saving is better than struggling to do this job into old age."  He sat down, reading the email that had popped up, paying the bribe readily.  Hong Kong was so much fun sometimes.  The doctor's email named a very low figure but he paid her the standard amount as well.  He appreciated the hell out of her at the moment.  He owed her big.

***

Xander looked over as Goemon woke up, handing him the water he had gotten from the sink in the bathroom.  "Here," he said quietly, helping him sit up so he could drink it.  "We're on a big ship.  We'll be in LA in a few days," he promised.  Goemon looked at him.  "There was a big quake while the doctor was treating you.  I got us all out of there and then here.  We're heading to LA and then home from there so you can recuperate."  The samurai nodded and closed his eyes again, swatting at the hand Xander was using to test his forehead.  "You're running a fever."

"I am fine."

"Bullshit."

"I am fine," he said a little more firmly.

"Goemon, I couldn't fucking protect you before and I'm not taking orders not to do it this time!" he said angrily.  "Now lay there and fucking well accept it!"  The older man gave him a reproachful look.  "Sorry," he apologized.  "True, but sorry."  He walked out, heading down to the infirmary.  The ship had left port late last night, it was safe to do this now.  The nurse smiled as he walked in.  "Hey.  Um, my friend was hurt in the quake. We got him treated before we left but he seems to have a fever.  Can I get a room call?  It's some stitches and a few cuts."

"Of course.  We got records on everyone who came on board and you weren't the only one.  Would an hour be all right?  The doctor is presently busy."

"Sure," Xander agreed with a relieved sigh.  "Thanks.  We're in 415-E."  She nodded, writing it down.  "Thanks again."  He hurried back.  Goemon was the sort to get up and pass out while peeing.

***

The doctor rebandaged the wound and stood up.  "You know," he said conversationally, "you don't see too many ceiling falling accidents that look like knife cuts."  He looked at Xander.

"That's surprising considering how much metal is used in building, especially using the current earthquake codes," Xander said, giving him a bland look.

"Yes, but those look like straight stabs, not stabs and drags like this one."  He crossed his arms.  "I want the truth, young man.  Are you a drug dealer?"  Xander snorted and shook his head.  "Dangerous?"

Xander sighed and decided to take one for the team if he had to.  "I'm a crappy jewel thief and a bodyguard, that's my main business.  This was my client.  He was hurt in the earthquake."  The doctor gave him a serious look.  "That injury predates it by hours however.  He *ordered* me to not help in the fight against the guy who was threatening his pregnant wife and I had to follow it.  That doesn't mean my boss won't want to kill my ass when we land."  He stepped closer.  "I didn't want to drag you into this, but he needs more help than I'm capable of.  I read the books."  The doctor nodded.  "A friend patched him up before the earthquake hit and we left as soon as the second one stopped."

"That's fine."  He gave him a look, noticing the posture.  "You're a professional bodyguard?"  Xander nodded.  "What's your use-name?"  The boy groaned and shook his head.  "Give, boy," he said firmly.

Xander snorted.  "I'm not that much younger than you."  He glanced at Goemon again.  "I'm guarding him as a favor.  My use-name is Michael."  Who hopefully wouldn't mind him using his name.

"Another nice try, I know him.  Who are you?"

"Lavelle," he said softly.  "He's a friend of my boss's.  My boss likes his family to stay intact."

"No," Goemon complained.

"You, hush," Xander said coldly.  "You're already going to get my ass killed by the boss for following that order about honorable combat.  As of this moment, I'm not taking orders from you until we meet up with the boss again and he tells me I should."  Goemon looked hurt.  "Tough.  Deal with it. You're hurt, you're fevered, and I'm not going to leave you alone to die!"

"He's nowhere near that stage.  A little infected, but not that badly off," the doctor said, calming him down.  He had heard of the young man, he was quite famous actually.  "You can fight about this later.  For right now, let me give him some antibiotics."  Xander nodded, looking at him again.  "I should tell the captain."

"Do you really want the ship boarded?  We'll be getting off at LA unless I get countermanding orders from on high, and then we're disappearing so I can take him to safety."

The doctor nodded.  "I understand.  That's a good attitude to have.  You might want to apologize though, son.  He still looks really upset with you."  He pulled something out of his bag, handing them to him.  "According to the email I received earlier, he's not allergic to anything."

"Shit, I lost my bracelet," Xander said, looking at his wrist.

"Drugs?"

"Beans, some pain killers."  He looked up and shrugged.  "I doubt it's going to be important right now.  No morphine if I get killed, okay?"  The doctor laughed, nodding.  "Good.  Four times a day, even if he's asleep?"

"Three, and yes," he said patiently. "Get him to eat something as well.  Your fee paid for the buffet each night and all other meals. Anything else is extra.  Also, the captain got a note saying that your copy of your passport was waiting for you in the LA Harbormaster's office, along with your credit card.  He'll be forwarding it to our first stop so you can have it then and buy some clean clothes."  Xander nodded.  "Good man.  Calm down and give him those.  One every eight hours."  He hitched his bag.  "Give him tylenol if he's still feverish and have him drink water."  He smirked.  "It's nice to meet someone who's decent at their job."

"Yeah, but I'd be a happier gunman if I hadn't been ordered not to stand by and watch."

The doctor opened his bag and handed over a small packet.  "A sleeping pill.  The only one you'll get from me, Lavelle.  Have a good trip.  Get some sun, you're very pale."  He closed his bag and left them alone, locking the door behind him.  He walked away shaking his head.  That was going to be a loud argument.

Goemon glared at Xander.  "Honorable combat is an honorable way of life."

"Goemon, you got hurt because you wouldn't let me help.  That's why I came along, to help.  I don't like seeing the people I care about being pummeled by an asshole with a big nose. If you hadn't ordered me to, I could have made him kill himself instead of having you nearly die from him.  I was supposed to protect you and I fucking well failed.  I'm more than expecting a dismissal letter when we get the passports."

"Lupin would not allow that.  He knows about such matters.  He has struggled with it in the past."

"Good.  I'm happy for him.  I don't want to ever again.  Honorable death isn't what I have planned for my death.  I'd rather go out knowing that the person who was hurting me and mine was going with me."  He stood up, heading into the bathroom and slamming the door.

Goemon sighed as he leaned back.  "I will have to teach the boy better or Lupin will blame me."  The phone rang and he answered it.  "Hello?"  He smiled.  "Good afternoon, Fujiko.  No, I am fine.  The ship's doctor said I have a small infection.  No, but he did know Michael.  No, he his sulking in the bathroom."  He looked that way.  "He'll be fine once he comes to grip with the concept of honor being most of my makeup."  He forced himself to sit up, groaning slightly.  "No, I am fine.  Mostly some minor cuts and that one on my leg.  Xander, it is them," he called.

"I'll be out soon," he called back, sounding miserable.

Goemon sighed.  "I'll leave him with Jigen."  He frowned.  "I ordered him not to help, Fujiko.  It is honorable that way."  He shook his head.  "That is fine, get Lupin to explain it then," he said bitterly.  "Xander, Jigen wishes to speak with you."

"Later!" he said angrily.

"Fine."  He heard Jigen's voice.  "He just yelled at me.  He's locked himself in the bathroom."  His face fell.  "No, I had no idea that it would affect him so much.  He's already yelled at me for ordering him to stay out of it."  He winced at the continued yelling of his wife.  "Stop her before she falls ill."  He smiled. Finally, a voice of sanity.  "Explain that to them, Marcus.  I will be sleeping for another day, then we will talk again."  He hung up, laying back down.  He kicked the antibiotics up, looking at the name.  He decided it would do this time, he couldn't find the herbs he would want more on this ship.  He opened it and took one, then closed his eyes, letting himself drift off.   In the quiet, he heard sounds of misery and nearly forced himself to get up and comfort him but he ached too much.  "Xander," he called.  The door was kicked.  "Come out here and talk to me.  You should not be alone."

"Go to sleep, Goemon, I'll be out eventually."  He wiped his face off, turning on the taps to clean his face off.  This really did suck.  It was the first time he had failed.  It would be the last time he failed if he had his way.  Once he heard the quiet snores he walked out, heading onto their balcony to watch the water flow past.  He would just have to be more vigilant.

***

Lupin looked over once he hung up on their end.  "Xander's upset, Goemon's not understanding why he's upset, and Xander doesn't understand why Goemon told him he couldn't interfere," he summed up for Jigen's benefit.

"That's got to be one fun stateroom," Jigen noted. He shifted some, putting up his feet.  "How is he?"

"The doctor said he's got a small infection, he gave him some antibiotics.  I got that from an email.  The guy knows Michael so we're cool on that end.  The problem then becomes how do we get them back here from LA without arousing suspicion and how do we break that fight up.  Goemon sounded disgusted with the kid."

"He would.  He doesn't really see it when others don't understand him that well."  He looked over as Marcus came back in from putting Fujiko into Xander's bed.  "How is she?"

"Resting.  The baby is still fine and moving."  He sat down, looking at Lupin.  "How is her husband?  She wanted to know."

"He's fine.  It's a small infection in his leg, nothing more," Lupin told him.  "He's got antibiotics so he'll be fine."  The phone rang and he answered it.  "Hello."  He smirked.  "Hi, Murami.  What's wrong now?"  He sat down, listening to his financial manager and friend.  "Really.  He couldn't wait?"  He chuckled and hit the speaker button.  "Tell Jigen what he said, dear."

"Xander called to get the number on his card for the ship's records.  He said he needed new clothes, a few f-ing drinks, and some damn sanity.  Then he said he was going to workout while Goemon slept.  Is he all right?"

"He's fine.  They were in Hong Kong and this is how Xander got him out while he was injured."

"Well, cruise ships are floating hospitals.  It's a brilliant plan.  Plus he'll be able to destress.  I haven't heard him wound that tight since I first met him, Lupin.  His voice cracked.  He's going to break soon."

"Others have said it, yet he never does," Jigen told her.

"Yes, but I'm more right than most people," she reminded him.  "Jigen, what would you do if this had been your situation?"

"I'd blame myself for not being good enough to get around Goemon, but he's like a brick wall.  You can't argue with him.  Xander knows that."

"You've had a long time with the wall of honor.  Xander hasn't," she reminded him.  "He sounded horrible.  You need to reach out and touch him gently.  No yelling, no recriminations.  Oh, and another bit of news, he asked me what would happen if he quit putting money into his retirement fund."  She hung up, leaving them looking at each other.

"He thinks we're going to fire him?" Marcus asked.

"He might," Lupin agreed.  "It wouldn't be the first time."

"This is the first time he's failed," Jigen noted, suddenly getting it.  Lupin groaned and shook his head.  "Dial the ship, let's see if we can find him."

"He'll be in the gym by now," Marcus said.  "If that's true, then he's beating himself up.  It'll be easier to get him in the middle of the night his time."  Jigen nodded at that wisdom.  "How's the weather looking that way?"

"There's a storm for them to go through in a few days," Lupin admitted.  "Right before they dock in Hawaii.  If the HarborMaster sends on the passport and stuff, they could get off there if necessary and head out through the airport."

"If," Jigen reminded him.  "If he's not on vacation."

"Good point."  Lupin smirked.  "He's not supposed to be."

"You're getting more cocky in your old age," Jigen warned.  Someone knocked on the door so he got up to answer it, taking the package from the bellboy.  "Thanks, kid."  He gave him a little tip, then carried the tube inside.  "I think it's his sword."  He popped the end open, lifting out the bloody, dented sword.  "What did Goemon do with this?" he demanded, holding it out.

Lupin came over to look at it.  "That's really bad.  We should work on that before Fujiko sees it.  It'll only make her worry more."  He pulled out his nifty little kids' DNA set, putting it to good use to figure out whose blood it was on the sword.  If it was Goemon's, everyone was going to try very hard not to worry her.

***

Zenigata walked into the hospital room and stopped his rookie from putting on his shirt.  "Get back in the bed."

"We have to catch them!  They tried to kill us!"

"They saved us," Zenigata said tiredly.  "Get back in the bed, you're not in any shape to go anywhere.  Your ears are still ringing and you're pale.  Now!" he ordered when his rookie glared at him.  He trudged back there, sitting down again.  "Thank you."  He pulled a chair over and handed over a letter.  "From the Commissioner herself.  You're on leave until you can be medically cleared.  It's standard procedure."

"You're going to let them get away?" he demanded.  "After what that boy did to me!"

"No, I know where they are and where they could get off.  I'll be there to meet the ship they're on.  Right now, unless we want to board a cruise ship in international waters and piss a lot of people off, they're out of our reach," he pointed out.

"We're Interpol!"

"We may be, but there are still rules we have to follow or we're no better than they are," Zenigata said coldly.  The boy glared at him so he stood up.  "The Commissioner is worried that you're picking up on my obsession.  She doesn't want to ruin you by doing that.  She's thinking about reassigning you and you're to expect a personal visit later.  Tell her whatever you want.  I gave them a thorough report, including how we were both captured and what happened after the earthquake.  We would have died," he said quietly.  "You especially since you were still unconscious.  He did save you, but that doesn't excuse his other actions."  He walked out, going back to his research.  Thanks to that girl, he had a new source of information and it was proving very useful about that boy's past.  What he heard made him sick.  No wonder he had turned to crime, Jigen was his father-figure.  He wondered how he was dealing with the most stubborn and upright person in the world, but figured they must get along well enough if they worked together.

The rookie read his official letter of medical leave, scowling at it.  The Commissioner would see his side, he was sure of it!

***

Xander walked back into the stateroom, looking at the sleeping man.  He snuck into his bed, pulling the covers over his head.

"You need to work on your sneaking," Goemon told him.

"Thanks, I'll do that when we land."

"Do so."  He turned on the light, blinking at the young man.  "What were you doing?"

"I was in the gym wearing out my frustration," Xander said honestly.  "I've got our exit plan figured out."  He sat up, looking over at him.  "Did you take your medicine?"  Goemon nodded.  "Good.  Tell me when to set the alarm for."

"I can wake myself up."

"Not the point," Xander said firmly.  "You're still my responsibility."

"I am a grown man, I can remember my own medication."

"Goemon."

"Fine.  Set it for seven.  I will get up and meditate."

"You're not leaving this room until your fever breaks.  I'll have a good breakfast sent down."  He laid back down, facing away from him.  "Go to sleep," he said quietly.  "You're injured, you need your rest."

"I am fine, Xander."

"No, you're not," he sighed. "Don't argue with me."

"I can get us out of here."

"So can I and I'm the one with money coming," Xander said firmly.  "You're in my protection and I'm doing it.  Now lay down before I feed you my lone sleeping pill."

"Fine," he said quietly, staring at the tense back.  "Are you in pain?"

"Not that sort."

Goemon shook his head.  He did not understand this boy.  "Would you like to talk?"

"About?"

"About this feeling you have that you have failed," he said firmly, shifting to sit on the side of the bed.  Xander got out of his bed and forced him back into it, tucking him in so tightly he couldn't move.  "You did not fail."

"I did.  Now go to sleep."  He set the alarm and got back into his bed, turning off the lights.  "Night, Goemon."

"Good night, Xander, I hope you can sleep."

"Yeah, me too," he admitted quietly, closing his eyes.

***

Lupin looked up as the lights went on overhead, mentally swearing.  His position was covered. Jigen and Marcus were in the open.  He turned, firing on the guard coming into the room.  This plan had been going wrong for a few minutes and he didn't like the feeling he was having.  "Abort," he ordered, backing out onto his escape route.  Jigen moved past him, but Marcus wasn't joining them.  He went to look for the boy, finding him unconscious and cuffed in a corner.  "Crap."  He hauled him up over his shoulder and exited, going to the backup hotel.  He would be fine and they could analyze the problems later.  Then he could try again.

***

Xander woke up on day three of their five-day journey and looked around.  The ship wasn't moving.  There was a helicopter above them.  "Damn it," he complained, standing up.  Someone knocked on the door again and he let them in.  "Yes?"

"Sir, it was noted that you did not have your passport on you," the Coast Guard officer said, looking at his clipboard.  "You and your companion.  I have to ask why."  He looked at him.

"We were in Hong Kong during the quake.  It was destroyed along with the inn we were staying in.  Copies have been sent to the HarborMaster in LA."

"Yes, sir, we got that notation but they haven't arrived yet.  We'll have to remove you from this ship until your identity can be verified."

"Can we at least get dressed first?  My client was injured in the quake."

"Yes, sir, that's fine," he agreed, stepping inside.  "You weren't the only one, sir, don't be upset.  We have to do these checks."

Xander looked at him.  "It sucks, I'm a fucking US citizen."  The man shrugged.  "I'm a resident of California."

"We couldn't find your name in the database, sir."

Xander groaned.  "It's a use-name.  I'm a professional bodyguard."

"That's fine, sir.  We'll be fingerprinting you and your license should pop up fairly quickly, even though it is Sunday."

"That's only if you go through an agency, son."  He gave Goemon a gentle nudge.  "The Coast Guard is here.  Our passports haven't shown up yet."

Goemon groaned.  "What else can go wrong?" he complained as he stood up to get dressed.

***

Lupin winced as the guillotine outside his cell went off again and the guard walked up to him.  "Having more fun?"

"That was your girlfriend," he taunted.

"No, it wasn't.  You tried that trick for the last five days.  Get a new line."  He would know if she was dead.  He would, he was sure of it.  "You can't kill us until we've had a trial.  You can't have a trial without Zenigata and his multiple requests to extradite us. Even here, that'll take some time."

"Bah."  He grinned. "We control this prison.  No one tells us who is guilty and who isn't.  The prison only admits those who are guilty.  Even you and your friends."  His radio crackled to life and he grinned.  "Ah, another attempt by that lawyer of yours.  How interesting."  He strolled away, laughing loudly.

Lupin forced himself to relax and think.  He had to get them out of here.  Fujiko had to be put into somewhere safer.  Jigen and he could swing, but he wouldn't do that to her or the baby.

***

Xander sat in the chair the Immigration guard pointed at, looking at him blandly.  "Where is my client?  He's injured and I will not be separated from him.  That is the law."

"The law?"

"Disability law?" Xander reminded him.  "Someone who is injured and in need of assistance has to be provided such."

"That's international law, not US law," the guard told him.

"No, here the rules are a bit more strict about such things.  I would appreciate at least seeing him to make sure he is all right."

"You'll be in the same cell later," he promised.  He looked at the file in front of him.  "Sir, we can't find your fingerprints anywhere."

"I told you they changed a few years back," Xander reminded him, staying casual.  "Have you found our passports yet?"  The man shook his head.  Xander sighed and called on the little power that had stayed, trying to 'see' where they were.  He had bled on the thing months ago.  "They're in Hawaii."  The guard frowned at him. "Check, they're in the security office.  The HarborMaster was supposed to forward them to us and that would be the most likely place for them to be since that was our first stop."

"Good point, sir," he agreed. "I'll check when they open tomorrow."  He made a note of that on his form.  "Until then, we do have to process you.  Do you have any questions about the procedures we'll be doing."

"I'm not stripping," Xander said firmly.

"Sir."

"Tough, deal with it," Xander said, glaring at him.  "I don't need to relive being attacked by a bunch of no-necked goons and I doubt you're going to be nice enough to give me something to combat the nightmares.  So unless you come in here with about fifty armed guards, you're not getting me down further than a t-shirt and my pants."  He leaned forward.  "You can pat me down, x-ray me, ultrasound me, but I'm not stripping and if you try to make me, I'm going to end up hurting someone.  This is the only warning you're going to receive on this matter."  The guard looked stunned.  "I'm sure you're following procedure but I was trained to kill.  I have had to kill in the course of business and to protect my life.  The outcome isn't going to be much different if I have a panic attack and only my client calms me down enough to keep me from committing mass homicide."

"Sir, I can't waive tests," he said, still looking confused.

"Tough.  I'm not relenting on this.  If you try it, you might as well go ahead and rape me to get off one last time before you die."

"Sir, you can be bound while we do it," he warned, standing up.  He had thought this was the nice one.

"Again, try," Xander told him calmly, staring into his eyes.  "And I am the nice one.  My client is a high-level executive.  He ruins lives for breakfast and then laughs over it."  The guard swallowed.  "So let's just put us in a cell and move on until you can call Hawaii."

"It's a national holiday tomorrow, sir," the guard told him.  "We can't leave you unprocessed."  The door opened and he saluted.  "Sir, small problem, sir," he said formally.

"I heard."  He walked in, looking at the young man.  "Where did you train?"

Xander looked at him.  "I did private training.  I'm still doing private training with a martial arts expert but I'm rated well beyond most people.  Even those in the military."  He stood up.  "Like I said, you can pat me down, x-ray me, ultrasound me, but you're fucked if I lose it."  The man stared into his eyes and he shrugged.  "Won't work. I've dealt with worse creatures than a bureaucrat recently."  He nodded at the guard he had been speaking to.  "Skippy here is nothing to me.  Not that I want to hurt him or anyone, but I am capable of it.  Trying to strip me down will trigger a violent event.  I'm being nice by warning you of such so your people don't have to get hurt."

The commander looked him over, then shrugged.  "Boys, cuff him," he ordered.  Two more guards came in and Skippy, the guard's real name, moved out of the way.  Xander had just taken one by the throat and planted his foot in the other's abs, sending him flying into the mirror.  The commander smirked.  "Pretty good for a civilian.  Try me now."

Xander let the non-breathing man go, then shrugged.  "Sure.  Which branch were you?"

"Marines."

"Cool.  I managed to avoid that fate."  The commander rushed him and Xander ended up on his back but the other man ended up wheezing for breath.  Xander flipped back to his feet and looked at Skippy.  "I warned you.  I wish you had listened," he said quietly as more guards came in.  One of them put a gun to his head and he moved, ducking and grabbing the gun to point it at him.  "Cute piece.  Mine's better but I seem to have lost it in the quake."  He handed it back.  "I don't want to hurt you guys, I really don't."

"Quit," Goemon ordered as he was walked in.  "They cannot force such destructive methods onto us."  He looked Xander in the good eye, giving him a silent message to calm down.  "They will not touch them," he said softly.  Xander shrugged and backed away, making him groan.  "Sit."  Xander sat, hands in his lap.  Someone cuffed him to the chair.  "Thank you."  They shared another look until one of the stupid guards tried to move him.  He got an elbow in the windpipe for his troubles.  "I am not leaving."  He pulled a chair over and sat as well.  "Xander is my bodyguard and I will not be without him."

"Fags," one man muttered.

"No, I am not.  As my pregnant wife can avow to," Goemon said firmly.  "Nor have I ever been, even when some very persuasive people have tried.  Please keep your mental problems to yourself from now on."  He looked at the commander, crossing his arms like he had seen Jigen do.  Xander shook his head so he quit.  "Why have you not looked for our passports?"

"The one with the silver hair thinks they may have been forwarded to Hawaii, sir," Skippy offered.  "It is logical."  The commander looked at him and he lowered his head.  "Sorry, sir."

"No, it is a good idea.  It's too bad we can't get anyone out there for another day and a half due to the holiday."  He smirked at Xander.  "We will be doing whatever we want to you and the more you fight the better we like it."

Xander shrugged, leaning casually to the side.  "Yay.  Try."

"You're handcuffed and still defiant, I like that," he chuckled, leaving his men to it.  "Put them in cellblock H when you're done."

"Together so my client isn't injured and forced to sue you all," Xander ordered calmly, staring down the next highest rated officer in the room.

"Sure, you and your princess will have the same cell," he sneered.  "After we've had a turn with you."  Some of the other guys laughed. "Separate them."

Xander stood up, showing that one of his cuffs was undone and then hit him, catching him and turning him around as a shield as he fell.  His sidearm was a handy thing, and it wounded the rest of the officers but Skippy.  "I warned you," he said softly, hitting him across the head with the barrel.

Goemon frowned.  "That was not necessary."

"It was, I'm not striping so someone who aspires to be as witty as some backwoods redneck can give me flashbacks," he said tiredly.  The door opened and the commander came in with more guards.  Xander felt his gun, then nodded, winging the commander.  "I told you, you didn't listen.  Maybe this'll make you listen?" he suggested, ducking the next one and taking his gun.  One of them got smart and went after Goemon, but he was taken out easily.  That left a single officer in the room with them.  "Now then, we'd like to retire to our cell," he announced.  "My client needs his medication, I would like some caffeine because it happens to curb the violent tendencies, and you've got a cleanup to deal with.  You can do all that mean stuff like x-ray me tomorrow."  The guard looked sick and ran to throw up. Xander waited while a new group came in.  "Morning."  He handed the pistol over to the unarmed man.  "Here, you look like you need it."

The man blinked a few times, then nodded.  "Fine.  Understandable.  You react very badly to having your clothes taken off.  We can do it with a single officer if you'd cooperate."

"Why do I want to relive that experience?"

"Oh.  Trauma induced?"

Xander lifted up the back of his t-shirt, showing him the scars on his lower back.  "You might say that, yeah," he admitted, turning back around.  "No one sees me naked, not even the people I sleep with.  I'm sure as hell not going to do it for a bunch of latent homosexuals who get perverse pleasure from body cavity searches.  Nor will I do it in front of anyone.  Like I said, scan me for drugs, that's fine.  I'm not feeling up to having a flashback right now."

"Fine, sir.  Let us do all the other stuff.  This way please."  He led them both out, smart enough not to try to separate them.  That one guy, the client, was tougher than the guard.  "Sir, which business are you in?"

"Japanese history," he said with a small smirk.

"Yeah, the guy lectures on it.  I'm surprised you haven't heard of him," Xander quipped, back to his original good mood.  "Can I get some coffee or something?  It really does help with the violent urges."

"If it'll stop that from happening again, I'll get you some," the officer promised, leading them in to take their photos and fingerprints.  He'd give the guy anything legal not to have to see another room taken out like that again.  That tape was going to be going to the trainers to make sure the guys were prepared.

"May I have a paper?" Goemon asked.  "I must keep track of certain stock markets."

"Sure.  Today's is laying in the break room," the officer agreed.  He led them through the rest of the process, letting the drug dogs sniff them before they were given ultrasounds of their lower GI tracts.  Then they were led into a large cell with not too many prisoners in it and given cups of coffee and the paper.  Then he backed away and walked off to make a report to the base commander.  He wasn't going to believe this one.

"That was uncalled for," Goemon said, handing over his cup of coffee.  He hated the stuff but the boy obviously needed it.  "What purpose did that solve?"

"Me not having flashbacks," Xander said grimly.  "Me not going through that hell is worth nearly any cost.  It wouldn't get us out of here sooner anyway."  He sipped the first cup, grimacing.  "Sock coffee.  Great."  He sat down to read the international headlines, holding up the paper after the second one.  "We've got bigger problems."  Someone coughed so he looked up, looking at the prisoners around them.  "Hey, how ya doin'?" he asked.

"You mafia?" one guy asked.

"No, professional bodyguard.  Why?  Offering me a job?"  The prisoner shook his head, backing off.  "They misplaced our forwarded passports.  We won't hurt you if you don't try us."

Someone laughed, pushing through the others.  "This is my cell," he sneered.  "Everyone here pays a toll."  He unbuckled his belt.  "Bend and spread 'em."  A few people winced and backed away but most of them were getting a thrill out of the rookies.

Xander stood up, waving him on.  "Come on.  You're not that big.  I've dealt with bigger."

Goemon walked behind him, doing a perfect Vulcan neck pinch.  "Such violence is wasted on ones such as he," he said patiently, going back to his reading.  "Interesting."

"I knew you'd get on well with Spock," Xander quipped.

Goemon looked at him.  "A rational mind is something to admire," he said sternly.  It was all the chastisement he would be giving.  "How are we doing this?"

"Well, gee, Xander could call for help from a blonde friend," a tired voice said from the shadows, walking out.  "Xander," he said.

"Oz."  He walked over, hugging him hard.  "Good to see you, man.  Why are you in here?"

"Expired passport.  I got tired of Tibet."  He shrugged.  "You?"

"Misforwarded.  Sucks but we were in Hong Kong during the quake."  He sat the other guy down.  "How are you?  In more control?"  Oz nodded.  "Boy, you've missed a lot of stuff."  He started to shift nervously.  "Oz, um, things are a little different now."

"I heard the town imploded.  What else?"  Xander backed away from him.  "Xan?"  Xander gave out a great sigh and looked at him.  "Xander?" he asked quietly.  "What happened?"

"Where to start, man? You missed everything that made me who I am now."  He sat down again, taking his hand.  "If I tell you, there's every chance you'll be horrified."  Oz nodded for him to go on.  "I don't know if I want to tell you some of it or not."

"I know some of it.  Dawn found me.  The other reason I'm back.  Give," he said more firmly.

Xander shook his head.  "You don't want to know," he said, giving off a bitter laugh.  "The group turned on me, I was gifted as a sacrifice by someone, hurt atrociously, and now I'm me," he finished quietly.  "Willow went evil, then good, then bad, and is now dead.  Buffy's a mother, and bitchy still."

Oz nodded slowly.  "Details?" he suggested.   "Dawn didn't give any, only that I was needed."

"You probably are, I'm not on the same side anymore," Xander agreed.  He smirked when Oz felt for a pulse.  "I'm still alive."

"I had my doubts for a second, your eyes don't show life," Oz said quietly, leaning closer.  "Tell me," he whispered.  "I can keep a secret."  Xander leaned his forehead against him, telling him in a few sentences what was going on.  Who he was now.  Oz pulled back and looked at him.  "Huh, you were the guy the big guy in Istanbul was talking about.  I wasn't sure."  He stood up, giving Xander a head pat.  "You're still Xander to me.  No matter what else you are."  He walked away, going back to his bunk.

Xander looked at his hands, calming himself down again.  Goemon sat next to him.  "You had doubts he would accept you?"

"He hasn't seen me since things started to get really bad," Xander said quietly.  He looked at him.  "Oz was one of my friends, the only one I have from the old days."  He got up and walked over there, sitting down on his bunk to tell him more.  It was like telling it to a good priest, he'd keep it all inside. No one bothered them or tried to eavesdrop.

***

Lupin looked around the small yard, looking Jigen's way.  They weren't allowed near each other.  The guards had strapped a collar on him that would send a painful, and possibly deadly, course of electricity through his neck if they saw them communicating.  They had shown him how it worked.  Fujiko was a few feet in the other direction, gently stroking her stomach.  She looked fine.  He glanced around from his seat again, trying to figure a way out of this mess.  They needed the other members of the team, where were they?  Their arrest had made it into the papers and Xander and Goemon should have landed by now.  He slumped a little, pretending for the guard strolling past him, glaring at his back.  He caught Jigen's eye again and blinked a few times.  He looked away, silently agreeing.  They may be on their own, something bad had happened to everyone else.

***

Xander hopped up as the nice officer came back, opening the door for him.  That got a surprised look and he shrugged.  "It's a necessary skill sometimes.  I need to keep in practice."

"Good.  Um, Mr. Isikawa?" he asked, mispronouncing it horribly.  "You're free to go."  He handed over a set of paperwork.  He looked at Xander.  "You might be if you hadn't attacked all those people but they haven't made a decision to charge you yet or not.  The fact that it was trauma induced is working on your side and they said they'd know by tonight."  Xander nodded calmly.  "I'm allowed to give you one phone call so you can arrange for someone else to guard him for you."

Xander shrugged, looking at Goemon.  "Go for it," he offered. "You'll see me soon."  The samurai looked at him, one eyebrow raised.  "Seriously, go for it."  Goemon nodded, leaving with the officer.  Xander went back to his corner near Oz's bunk, leaning against the wall.  He went back to his chanting.  He really needed to take formal magic lessons.  He'd have to beg Ethan for that later.  He noticed Oz looking at him and shrugged. "I've got access to the consort's power," he admitted dryly.  "It's a bitch to use though."  Oz nodded, going back to his newspaper.  Xander went back to his chanting.  "To my enemies, I call unto thee.  Hear me, know me, feel me," he chanted.  "Do my will so that we may battle."  He looked up as he felt the unsettled feeling, pulling Oz off his bunk when he froze.  The room started to shake and they stayed against the outer wall.  As soon as the wall broke, he broke them out with a little love tap to the wall, running with Oz.  He looked back.  "You can stay if you want," he offered.

"I'd rather not."  They made it across the gate in the confusion.  For some reason, there weren't enough guards around.

Goemon quickly found them, nodding at Oz.  "I do not think that was natural."

"I'm just glad it wasn't a real one," Oz told him, getting his hand free.  "Thanks, need that."  He gave Xander a long look, then hugged him.  "Be safe.  Write more often.  I've got a hotmail addy now."  Xander nodded, giving him a sad smile.  "Be safe," he repeated, heading off into the night.  He could get lost in this city until he could find Angel.

"Look for the law firm," Xander called after him.  "Like your nature."  Oz waved a hand.  "Deadboy's there."  Oz stopped to look at him and Xander nodded. "Like your nature," he repeated.  Oz nodded, heading off again.  Xander looked at Goemon.  "Have you called Murami?"

"Not yet.  We should probably get farther away."

Xander nodded.  "Good point."  They jogged off, heading for a cab, a phone, and freedom.  They came to a parking lot first and Xander shrugged, using his elbow to break a window in an older model car.  "Get in.  We'll head to Mexico."

Goemon gave him a look but did as ordered.  The rules were looser and more easily gotten around down there.  "I feel like a bad woman's movie," he said dryly.

"You hate that movie too?  That's always a good sign.  Fortunately, the border is two hours away and we haven't run into any of my other friends yet."  He sped up, heading for the nearest interstate.  Jigen had made sure he could drive a getaway car successfully on the interstate.

***

Lupin looked up as he heard the alarm, frowning at it.  This was a good opportunity.  The electrified bars were going down.  His fizzed and sparked so he picked the lock quickly, stepping into the hallway.  The guard turned to look at him, raising his gun, but he was shot in the head.  "Ow.  That must have hurt."  He shrugged and hurried to free Jigen, who would then go find Fujiko for him.  He gave him a nudge, and nodded in the probable direction, then went to finish the prison break.  He found a familiar body lounging in the doorway of the prison's armory.  "Xander?  Finally!"  He gave him a hug.  "Why did it take you so long?"

"The stuff got forwarded to Hawaii and we never made it there."  He handed over a gun.  "I could only get us in control of the prison, boss.  I've also sent a mayday for help to Dawn and David.  Marcus is in town trying to get you guys free in other ways."  He grinned.  "He was the lawyer."

"I figured as much."  He took more weapons, heading out to take down the guards.  They were sadistic and deserved to be shot.  He could plan it from here.  "Why both of them?"

"Because we were stuck in the Immigration cells in LA.  Ran into Oz," Xander explained.  He fired a shot into the air.  "This prison is now under a new command," he said loudly, getting absolute silence.  "Anyone who bothers me, Lavelle, dies."  The inmates gave him a scared look.  "Good.  All guards will report to the barracks, they can live in there."  He stomped off, going to help his mentor.  He walked into the women's wing, flipping the switch.  Someone yelled so he flipped it in the other direction and hit the second one, which opened the doors.  He walked in, making the women stop.  "I am Lavelle.  I control this prison.  There will be no more atrocities while I am here.  After that is up to you."  The women backed away from him.  "Bring me Fujiko Mine."  She was shoved forward.  "Morning, princess, your prince is in the office."  She hurried off.  "Left corridor," he called after her.  He bowed to the women.  "I will leave the doors open because those things are heinous.  Do not bother us."  They nodded, but one stepped forward, giving him a fearful look.  "I don't want to hurt any of you.  I'm personally against hurting women."  He gave her a gentle touch to the bruised cheek.  "We'll have someone in to look at that," he promised.  "Stay in here, I want the male prisoners to leave you alone.  Trust my crew.  I'm with Lupin."  They nodded, going back to their cells to wait.  "Jigen," he yelled as he walked away.  His mentor met him at the crosspath.  "Find anything good?"

"Not yet.  I found the execution yard," he said bitterly.

"Fuck 'em, I want their heads already, it'll come in handy," Xander told him, walking off.  "Boss, the women are free but staying in their corridor so there aren't any problems.  A few need some minor medical attention."  Lupin nodded, hugging Fujiko.  "Goemon's in the offices," he told him gently.  She hurried off, holding her stomach.  She was really showing now.  "So, what did I miss while in Immigration holding?"

Lupin smirked.  "I figured it was that bad.  Any other plans?"

"Demands for food, water, decent clothing, and medical attention.  After that?"  He shrugged.  "Escape?"

"Good plan," Jigen agreed, patting him on the back.  He saw the slump.  "What?"

"Nothing, personal issue."  Xander walked off to make his demands.  He saw the officer out there with the bullhorn and leaned on the windowsill.  "Hey, Gramps," he called.  "Figured you'd be here."

"You're in LA," he said, looking outraged.  "The Americans fucked up that much?"

"No, LA had a small quake.  We survived three in a week and a half," Xander told him with a light grin.  "We've got some inmates who need medical attention.  We want the standard things.  Medical, food, water, and clothes for now."  He pulled in, shutting the window.  He turned and found Jigen behind him, guarding the door.  "Problems already?"

"No, I wanted to talk to you."  He walked over, tilting the boy's face up.  "You okay?"  Xander nodded, giving him a look.  "I'm serious, wench.  Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, or at least better."

"And Goemon?  Are you two fine?" he completed when Xander winced.  "What?"

"I failed," he admitted.  "I fully expect to be fired after this.  Not only did I fail, I nearly fucked up the world because I failed."  He got his chin free.  "You need someone better behind you.  Someone who doesn't panic, doesn't do things like open fire in a hospital, and doesn't take out half the guards at the LA Immigration Holding Facility."

"You did?"

"They wanted to strip search me."

"Ah."  Jigen nodded, knowing he was still sensitive about that.  "Were you nice?"

"I was.  I only gave minor injuries.  Goemon's even more pissed at me.  Since he's the original crew, I'll back off and you guys can call me whenever you want me, or for a booty call," he agreed.  He shrugged.  "I won't harm the group."  He walked around him, heading down to the main level.  The guys were giving him pitiful looks.  "Quit," he warned.  They moved back. "Thank you.  I don't want to hurt anyone.  I don't want to see anyone hurt."

"Then give us the women," one down the block yelled.

"Why, so you can hurt them like the guards?" he asked.  That got them shut up.  "The women are staying separate until they're released.  I'm going to demand trials for all of you."  That got some mild cheering.  "If they don't agree, then we'll have to do something.  If you were a criminal, I suggest you take this as a sign you should change jobs.  I don't want to deal with you guys professionally."  He turned, heading up to the offices to monitor the radio broadcasts.  There hadn't been enough guards.  He ran into Fujiko, who was looking rumpled.  "You okay?" he asked, looking into her eyes.  She nodded.  "You sure?"  She nodded again, more firmly this time.  "Good.  I'm making you the liaison to the women's section.  They're supposed to stay in there so they're safer.  When the doctor gets here, I want you to be checked over too."  He walked on, heading to do his part of the detail.  Lupin was listening to the radio broadcasts already.  "Any clue where the rest of the guards are?"

"They're in the basement, I sent Jigen down there to free their hostages."  He looked at Xander.  "Shut the door."  Xander kicked it shut and stood stiffly in front of him.  "Haven't you learned anything yet?" he asked, giving him a look.

"I did my best, boss.  I tried.  I won't follow an order like that ever again.  But I understand.  Call me if you ever need me."

Lupin pulled him closer.  "Not that, Xan."  He gave him a hug.  "I'm not sending you away.  Even if you did take out most of the LA holding center's staff.  I find that rather impressive actually, if dumb and unnecessary.  You panicking wasn't a good thing.  You understand that, right?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Then we're fine."  Xander shook his head.  "We're not?"

"No.  We're not.  I fucked up.  I failed and it nearly got Goemon killed, and it got you guys captured because you were undermanned.  You guys could have been killed and the responsibility is mine.  I accept that."  He shrugged.  "I fucked up big time."

"No, you followed an order you didn't agree with.  I've done the same thing and hated it.  Goemon's done the same thing to us once and we had to watch him fight some evil fucker he had trained with.  In this case, you move on.  He won."

"Barely."  Xander glanced behind him.  "I cheated a little," he admitted.  Lupin raised an eyebrow.  He took a deep breath.  "I put a sedative into the guy's drink the night before."

"So you saved him by disobeying an order," Lupin said, considering it.  "Do you want to tell him?"

"He'll be even more pissed at me."

"He said he's not mad, I trust him to know whether or not he is."  Xander let out a little snort.  "You don't think so?"

"I know he's mad, he glared at me the whole time we were on the ship."

"He was concerned about you, Xander.  He said he heard you crying in the bathroom a few times.  That and you mother-henned him to distraction."  Xander nodded.  "I pointed out it's the same thing he does to Fuji and he glared at me.  Now, can you still work with him?"

Xander shrugged.  "I guess.  If he'll allow it.  He doesn't like me.  I respect him because he's still the scariest person I know, but I don't understand him the way I should."

"So you're retiring already?" Lupin asked, looking him over.  "One last hurrah before you go out with a bang?  Planning on dying here?"  Xander shook his head.  "Are you sure?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Because you owe Jigen and me."  Xander frowned.  "Two years is not enough to pay back what we've given you."

"Like I said, if you want me, I'm there.  I don't want to destroy the group."

"We've gotten used to having you around, Xander.  You can't leave now."  He gave him a little smirk.  "See, we need you to do things like this.  I'm getting old, we need a new approach sometimes."  Xander groaned and walked out, heading to another office to look at the troops. "What did I say?" he called, getting up to follow him.  Jigen shook his head.  "What did I say?"

"I'm not sure, but he's hurt.  I think he thinks we keep him around for shits and giggles."  He shrugged.  "We'll kidnap him when this is over with and figure it out.  This one last time."  Xander came out of the office he was hiding in. "Unless you feel like being straight right here and now, then we'll leave the last time off for some other time."

"Jigen, what happens when you guys have a communication breakdown?" Xander asked.  Jigen frowned.  "That's right, you don't have one.  Goemon and I do have one.  I don't understand him.  I have never really understood him, no matter how hard I try.  For all I know, he might really be a Vulcan. And I'm sure he feels the same way about me.  That's going to cause problems in the group and make it harder on jobs.  Even in a family, there can't be dissent like this.  It's like fire and water, one of us is going to put out the other."  He walked back into the office, going back to his watching.

"Which was he?" Lupin asked.  "Water?"

"I think in this case he was fire," Goemon said quietly from behind them.  They were too used to it to jump.  "He is correct, I do not understand him.  Nor will I probably ever understand him, but I do want him around.  He is not only useful but he lightens your moods and makes things go smoothly again.  He is the lubricant we needed to overcome the problems we were having with advanced aging."  He walked into the office Xander was in.  "May we speak?"

"Sure.  I'm watching the military mass."  He glanced back.  "Shut the door."  The door was shut.  "Come on over.  They can't see up here."  Goemon came over, standing next to him.  "What's up?  And I'm not oily like that most of the time."

"There are many lubricants," Goemon reminded him.  He put a hand on the boy's shoulder.  "I am not mad, Xander."

"I drugged him the night before," he said quietly.

"Then I may be upset with you but I had no idea of that so it does not impinge on my honor."  Xander looked at him. "Honor is like faith for the strong willed.  I believe as strongly as any devout Snake Charmer."  Xander snorted, shaking his head.  "Snake Handler?" he corrected.  Xander nodded.  "Yes, one of the ones who knows that the snake will not harm him because he has his faith.  I have my honor, it also protects me from the snakes.  You have no such thing to date.  That is why you do not understand, and I know this.  Not many do in this day and age."  He gave the boy's shoulder a gentle squeeze, making him moan.  "Are you in pain again?"

"A little," he admitted. "I'm fine."  He looked outside again.  "They're moving."  He moved Goemon out of the way and pulled up his rifle, taking out the Captain standing next to Zenigata.  Then he picked off most of the small team moving in.  He put his rifle down again and looked at him.  "That should stop them for a bit."  He leaned against the wall.  "Can you honestly say you understand me well enough to know what I would do in any given situation?"  Goemon shook his head immediately.  "Isn't that necessary for this job?"  He glanced outside and groaned, but someone else was shooting them now.  "Thanks," he said, looking up.  There was a turret above them.  "I believe that's your wife from the muttering."

"As long as she is safe.  It is wearing out another mood swing," he said with a small grin.  "Better them than me."  He stepped closer again.  "Xander, I do not understand Jigen that way either.  There are many things I do not understand about either of you.  Things I may never understand, even if we were all immortal.  Only Lupin understands all of us like that.  You are not he, and neither am I."  Xander nodded, accepting that.  "We can and do work together very well.  I would like to continue that relationship, if only because Jigen would stay happy with life again.  I missed him when he was so low-key all the time."  He gave the boy another small smile.  "Will you stay?"

"If you're sure it won't affect anything."

"It should not," Goemon told him. "I feel much the same about Marcus and yet I treat him like an odd son.  All of you younger generation are vastly different from the ways I was used to.  Then again, I was fairly sheltered growing up.  You have been fighting since your youth.  As has Jigen.  I cannot understand how people get so badly hurt and still go on with a somewhat normal life."  Xander relaxed.  "I hear more coming."  The gun above them went silent.  "Oh, dear.  She's run out of bullets."  He shook his head as he went to check on his wife.  She was crying again so he held her gently, letting Lupin take over the turret gun for her.  "It is fixed," he told him.

Lupin nodded, looking happier.  "Thank you, Goemon."

"You are welcome.  How else will I learn not to desire the death of the things who call themselves adult these days?"  He walked her back down to the office, sitting down to hold her.  "It is all right," he soothed gently.  "They will be no more soon."  He heard a large explosion and looked out the window.  "I believe we should talk to Xander about his magical abilities soon," he noted.  She laughed, hugging him tightly.  "Did you get my sword?"

"We did, but Marcus has it right now."  He nodded, giving her a gentle kiss.  "Was LA that bad?"  He nodded.  "I'm sorry."

"It is not your fault.  You do not cause earthquakes."  She laughed, giving him a long hug.  "Thank you.  I missed you too."

***

Dawn stood up, reading the email in shock.  "How in the hell?" she asked her screen.  Giles looked her way, giving her quizzical look.  "I just got a mayday coded message from Xander."  He frowned.  "Not only has everything went to hell in the last week for the group, they're all in deadly danger and he's gone to take over a prison to free them."  She walked away, shaking her head.  She pulled out a cd she had made a few months back, running it so she could print the items off it, then she gathered up a small bag of stuff she'd need.  It fit nicely into a big purse.  The papers were folded up and stuck in there as well.  Then she walked out to the main shop area.  "Janus was supposed to leave Xan alone but he's obviously not.  I'm going to help him.  Can you handle the kids?"  Giles was still looking stunned.  "I'll take that as a yes," she said dryly, moving into his working room.  David had taken a vial of her blood with him and had anointed a spot in his new room.  She opened a portal, walking through.  "Hey, Gunn, I need David."

"He doesn't need you," he said firmly.

Dawn rolled her eyes.  "I'm not arguing with you.  Our friends are in danger."  She walked out of the room, heading down the stairs of the hotel.  "David?" she called.  Angel gave her a vicious look. "Keep it up, future pile of ashes.  David!"  He came out of the kitchen.  "I got a mayday message.  It's horrible."

"Coming."  He ate as he walked up the stairs.  "Packing?"

"Wear whatever you want.  Hopefully it won't last more than a day."  He nodded, continuing to munch as he walked up the stairs.  She looked around, frowning.  "Did you guys have an earthquake too?  Xander was caught in the two in Hong Kong."

Angel prowled over.  "Is that who you're going to go save?" he demanded.

She patted him on the cheek.  "Behave and live for a while longer," she said seriously.  "I'm not the queen of nice today.  The baby's got colic."  David came down the stairs so she created a portal to the house in France.  There was stuff there they'd need, including the passport stash.  He followed her through, and she let it snap shut behind her before anyone else could come through.  "Okay, find me the newspaper for today.  I'm going to the office to check the news online."  He nodded, heading that way.  She went to do her thing, passing the housekeeper.  "It's a bad day, we're the rescue party."

"Mr. Marcus is down there too," she called after her.  "He's not involved."  Dawn turned and grinned, then turned back around, making the older woman shake her head.  "Those poor men, relying on children to help them."  She walked out to help the other one find the pertinent papers.  She had been reading them to see if she would still have a job.  Maybe she would suggest that her boss retire, he was pretty old these days.

***

Jigen walked up behind Xander, giving him a friendly nudge.  "Are they moving again?"  Xander nodded, giving him a glance.  "What's wrong?"

Xander shook his head.  "I nearly got us killed and this plan is looking worse."

"Well, it's not the most bright ever, but you are buying us the time we need to make a real one."  He put an arm over his student's shoulders.  "I thought you said you didn't want to be telepathic."

"I don't, but I still nearly got him killed."

"Kid, no one understands him.  Not even the other planners in the group."  He gave him a gentle squeeze, noticing the wince but he wouldn't say anything about it yet.  "The more you think about this, the worse it will make it seem.  He still likes you, move on."

Xander picked up his rifle, firing at Zenigata's feet out the window.  "Maybe."  He looked out the window, making the cop flinch.  "Now," he called out.  "Or the sadistic, torturing bastards get it."  He closed the window, leaning against the wall.  "I know you guys are pretty tired of me."

"Only of the insecurity.  Most people would be thrilled to work with us."

Xander shook his head.  "I am, but I can't help some of this."  He shrugged.  "I figure it tempers my violent streak."

"True," Jigen admitted dryly.  "It also makes you panic in an emergency."

"But never in a battle situation."  He glanced out the window.  "We've got a truck, an ambulance, and a new negotiator who's arguing with Gramps."  Jigen looked out.  "Want me to meet them at the door?"

"No, I've got it."  He took the rifle, heading down to meet them.  Zenigata joined the group.  "Medics?"

"We can only get two, but you have to let us in to examine everyone," Zenigata ordered. Jigen shrugged, letting him inside but stopping the other guy.  "Him too, he's the Minister of Justice," the inspector said dryly.  He followed the gunman down to the women first.

"Pops and the Minister of Justice are here, wandering."  Fujiko gave him a look.  "It'll be fine.  Check her too," he ordered the paramedics that had followed them.  Goemon came to take his place, freeing him to supervise the touring inspector and minister.  He found them staring in horror at the execution yard and the bodies stacked against a wall.  "He was doing one an hour, then telling us it was Fujiko and Lupin," he told them.  Zenigata looked at him.  "He did the same to Lupin."

The Minister of Justice shook his head, shuddering in revulsion at the puddles of congealed blood.  "This is not allowed.  Most people here have not been charged."  He looked at their guide.  "Where is he?"

"Stuffed in a tiny closet, needing attention," Jigen admitted.  "Lavelle has been having a bad week."

"After two earthquakes and three days in LA I'm not surprised," Zenigata agreed.  "Did he really wound ten people for trying to make him strip?"  Jigen groaned and walked away.  "I'll take that as a yes."  The minister looked at him.  "The kid was tortured a few years back," he shared.

"Then this is his crusade?"

"He'll listen to the older ones," Zenigata said wisely.  "We still need to go through Lupin."

"You rang?" Lupin said from the catwalk above them.

"Don't sneak up on me!" Zenigata yelled, glaring at him.

"Sorry, I was practicing thinking like Goemon."

"The white-haired man with the gun is yours?" the Minster asked.  Lupin dropped down, standing in front of him.  "What are your demands?"

"First, we want the sadistic fuck in a cell," Lupin said.  "We want *real* investigations for all the people here.  Most of them need medical attention, especially the women."  The Minister's face hardened.  "I take it you saw the ones we snuck out?"  The Minister nodded.  "We took them back from the guards."

"One of them died from her injuries," the Minister told him.

"Hopefully her family will be told the truth about her time here," Lupin said coldly.

"Full disclosure is a reasonable demand," the Minister agreed.  "What else?"

"They need food, most of them are wearing rags, and none of the others participated.  We've kept them clear of everything."  The Minister nodded, opening the door that led down to the barracks.  There were bodies everywhere and one person sitting in the corner laughing.  "LAVELLE!" he shouted.  Xander jogged down, blinking at the carnage.  "Did you let him out of his closet?"

"No.  He was moaning in the dark an hour ago when I checked."  He walked in and hauled up the laughing man.  "Feel better now?"  He continued to laugh.  "I'm not buying this insanity thing.  You're high on the killing."  The former warden nodded so he handed him over.  "May I suggest solitary for him?"  He walked back through the mess, heading back to his spot to report.  "Food and some clothes were delivered with them.  The medics have said sixteen people need to be evacuated.  They're doing the last block now.  That includes the females."  Lupin nodded and looked at the Minister, who also nodded.  "Good.  They said an hour or so."  He walked away.

Zenigata looked at Lupin instead of the bodies.  "I haven't seen Fujiko."  He had been down the other path and hadn't seen the women, it would have made him side with Lupin and his gang if he had and he couldn't have that.

"She's fine.  That whole gun thing earlier was a small tantrum."  He led them to look at the cells then up to the office with the clear windows so no one outside would panic.  "Do you need anything else?  I'd like to get this solved soon."

The Minister crossed his arms over his chest.  "What do you want for yourself, young man?  Most kidnapers have more personal reasons than saving the abused."

Lupin laughed.  "I'm pretty content.  After this, I'm determined to take a real vacation."  The minister gave him a look so he grinned back.  "I am Lupin the Third," he reminded him.  He left them there, walking down to check on their female member.  He found Xander giving her stomach long rubs.  "Influencing it?"

Xander grinned.  "It kicked."

Lupin hurried over to feel as well.  "Wow."  The baby kicked him and he laughed.  "You're going to be a great martial artist, kid."  He hurried to find the father so he could feel this great thing too.  "Goemon!" he shouted.  His friend came out of the office he had left the officials in.  "The baby kicked."  Goemon hurried off and Zenigata came out of the office.  "What?"

"Already?"  Lupin nodded.  "Good.  That's a good sign."

Lupin smirked.  "Thanks.  We're looking forward to being uncles."  He walked away.  "Stay or go, whatever's easier for you guys to get these people what they need."  He still needed to find their things.

Xander appeared behind them, startling them.  "Of course, if you try to storm the place again, *I* get them," he noted.  The official nodded, looking very scared.  "Do you think it'd be appropriate to get the baby decorative weapons?"

"Probably, knowing the parents," Zenigata said bitterly.  "How are you going to run with a baby?"

"Easy.  Marcus and me," Xander said smugly.  "I'm a good uncle, I like happy babies."  He strolled off.  "You might want to call someone.  Your people are getting antsy."

"Thank you," the Minister called after him.  He looked at the inspector.  "You weren't kidding.  He is odd."  He went to call his people, this needed to end.

***

Dawn walked into the hospital the prisoners had been sent to like she owned the place.  "You have someone who is carrying my child," she told the nurse at the desk.  "I wish to check on my child."  The nurse held up a finger and walked off to find someone with more authority so she didn't have to deal with decision making.  A doctor soon joined them.  "One of the women is carrying my child.  I wish to see her."

"Egg donation is illegal in this country, ma'am, that would negate your rights here," the doctor told her.

She snorted and pulled out the emergency paperwork she had run off before leaving the house.  "We have a binding legal agreement for me to adopt her child as soon as it is born."

"I see."  He looked it over, then looked at her again.  "Are you sure she's here?"

"Considering I chose her because she is an internationally known thief and the news reports said she was here, yes."

"Oh, her," he said flatly.  He led her to the cubicle.  "The Justice officials are allowing five minute visits.  Put everything in the chair as soon as you walk in.  You will be monitored from the security station."

She walked in, leaving her purse on the chair. "Hey."

"Contract?" Fujiko mouthed.  Dawn shrugged and grinned.  "It kicked today.  Come feel?"

Dawn walked over, laying a hand on her stomach.  She squealed and hugged her, making the restraints break with a quiet spell.  They wouldn't lock again.  Fujiko smiled at her, testing them.  "I'm glad you're okay.  Don't you worry, my legal team will be here soon to handle this for you."  She gave the firm stomach another stroke and someone outside coughed.  "I'll see you later, sweetie. You be good."  They locked eyes and Dawn grinned "I'll even bring the honey the next time I see you."  She gave her a kiss on the cheek, then left.

"Your purse?" the guard called, watching as she retrieved it.  "You can come back tomorrow.  Tonight she has some medical testing that needs to be done."

Dawn pulled out another copy of the contract.  "Then this needs to go into her chart.  That child in her is mine."  The man grimaced.  "The child has the ability to become a genius and an asset to society.  If you harm the baby or the mother I will see your entire country bankrupted," she said in her best matter-of-fact voice.

"We are not animals," he protested.

"True, but there are atrocities involved and people who want to cover their asses.  Sometimes even good people get bad orders."  He nodded so she handed over a business card.  "Call my cell if something should happen."  He took it.  "Thank you.  I'll see her tomorrow."  She walked out, heading back to her hotel room.  "Xan," she complained.  "This is too complicated."

***

Xander looked up at the sky.  "I know you like me, but isn't this just a little heavy handed?"  He heard some ethereal-sounding laughter.  "Okay, dude, if I start to think pleasant thoughts about you, will you quit screwing with my life finally, like you promised?"  Someone coughed so he looked behind him.  "I have the feeling Janus still likes me."

"With the week you've had, I wouldn't be surprised," Jigen agreed as he walked in farther. "Are you picking him as your personal deity?"

"I doubt he'd want me that way," Xander offered.  "I only want to be left alone.  No more mischief.  No more tempting problems."  He lifted his head again.  "No more problems for the group!" he requested angrily.  "Don't pick on me using them!"

"Pray," that voice whispered.

Xander grimaced.  "If I do, will you leave me alone permanently?"  Jigen gave him a look.  "Quit that!" he shouted.

"Pray," the voice whispered again.

"That time I heard it," Jigen admitted, looking around.

"Fine, but it stops or I cap Ethan," Xander grumbled.  The laughter came back.  He mumbled a quick prayer to be left alone.  Jigen gave him a look so he shrugged, pointing behind him at an alabaster statue with onyx eyes that hadn't been there a minute earlier.  "It stops or I take his high priest out."  He grabbed it, taking it down the hall.  Lupin looked up as he walked in so he tossed it to him.  "He promised it would quit happening."  He walked away again.

Lupin looked at the small statue, touching the joined heads.  "Keep this up and I'll take him from you," he said quietly.

"You already have," a voice whispered.

"Yes, but I appreciate him.  Free him."

"He will ever be mine.  I formed him."

"Yes, but we nurture him."

The statue's left head turned to look at him.  "True.  He will be yours for now."

"If you try to take him from me, I will fight back.  I will help him destroy everything of yours."

The statue laughed.  "You are also one of mine; I enjoy you.  Protect him for us."

The other head turned to look at him.  "We will be watching."  The heads turned back to facing opposite ways and went dead.

Lupin gave it a pat, then put it into the pile of things to take with them.  It could have a spot in the big safe under the house in France.

***

Dawn concentrated on the world around her.  The flare of magic startled her so she looked that way.  "Hmm.  Janus, and not Ethan."  She looked at the other two rescuers then nodded.  "We're going."  A picture formed in front of her so she latched onto it to test it.  Something was off about it.  She switched to Xander's magical signature, smirking.  "Sneaky, but not nice," she whispered.  One or two realities off this one.  She dripped blood off the new cut on her arm onto the floor.  "Now," she ordered.  She stepped into the hole, holding it steady.  She hated going to unfamiliar points, it was really dangerous and nerve racking.  As soon as it was stable, she opened the other side and stepped through.  Lupin was sitting there staring at her hole in the air so she tested the 'friend' protection she had placed on him way back when.  "Morning," she said happily.  "Want out?"

"Do we have an hour?" he asked.  She grimaced.  "I'll be quick."  He walked out, finding his people eating together in the mess hall.  "Dawn's here."

"I called Pops for a parlay," Jigen told him.  "Xander felt her."  They stood up, following him.  They had finally gotten their own things earlier, plus had taken showers, so no one would notice anything out of place on the other side of the portal.  Lupin grabbed his stack of stuff, following Dawn first.  He shivered as he stepped across. "Are we still in the right realm?"

"I had to make it stronger, I latched onto Xander instead of a locale I had already marked."  She turned, looking at Xander.  "Go last."  He nodded, taking her hand when it was his turn.  He stepped into the portal and that side closed but she walked him through to the hotel.  "Safe and still mental," she teased.

"And tired and cranky," he retorted easily.  "Fujiko?"

"I had her bike brought up," Marcus told him.  "She escaped earlier and took it."

"Good," Goemon praised.  Dawn handed him a piece of paper.  "What is this?"

"Test results."  She looked at Lupin.  "Home?"

"Bali," Xander groaned.  Everyone looked at him.  "Or I can go take a vacation if you guys have other plans."

"I like his idea," Goemon agreed.  "I wish to spend time making plans about the baby.  There is much we have not thought about yet."

Lupin nodded.  "Greece?"  Jigen nodded and shrugged, he didn't care.

"I don't know that place," Dawn reminded him.  "I can't get you there."

"I can handle that," Lupin assured her.  "Car?"

"Downstairs," Marcus promised.  "The four-seater."  He peeked at the folded paper.  "Something good?"

"I'll look later."  Goemon walked away but Lupin snatched it.  He took it back.  "Us first."  He noticed the statue and gave him a look.

"It showed up to taunt me," Xander told him.  "Seven people, four seats?"

"You can cuddle," Goemon told him, trying to drag the boy with him.

"Someone should stay in case Fuji needs help," David suggested.

"True," Dawn agreed.  "She doesn't know where to go."  She looked at Lupin, who groaned.  "Send Xander to her, he's protective."

"He is more than capable of protecting both of them," Goemon agreed, giving the boy a gentle pat to the back.  He winced again but the boy would tell them if he was in pain.

"Ooh!  Legal forgery just in case."  She handed it to Goemon.    "My lap is always open for the baby's needs if something horrible happens to everyone else here."  He looked at it, then smiled and left.

"Emergency adoption papers?" Jigen asked.  She smiled and bounced.  "You going with us, kid?"

"Nope.  David needs to be returned before his father sics the anti-scary vampire on me."  She cleaned up their mess, shooing them down to the car.  She gave Xander a lift to a spot she had marked earlier on the edge of town, just in case they had needed a second portal site.  It was the only road out of the city and Fujiko wouldn't have made it that far yet.

***

Xander fingered the choker in his pocket, nodding as a familiar woman pulled up beside him an hour later.  "Hey, babe, being chased yet?"

"Hell yes."  She let him climb on behind her then took off again.  "They've got bulletins out already."

"Hey, I'm your violent-type person," he said, grabbing onto her.  "I don't usually ride like this," he said into her ear. She patted his hand and sped up.  He could feel her stomach tensing underneath his hand and stroked it gently as she hunched down over it.  "Park, I'm driving."  She pulled off the road, standing up.  "Was that a real one?"

"No," she groaned.  "The quack said they were practice ones."

"Good."  He pulled her closer, rubbing both her front and her back until it stopped.  "If these are practice pains, they're not that bad," he soothed.  "They're not a danger, only an annoyance."  He grinned at her.  "The other guys are heading to Greece.  Do you want to make any stops?"

"One.  I want to see Fihad."  He helped her onto the back of the bike, letting her curl up against his back. "It's not on the way but not too out of the way."

"We can do that," he promised.  "Hold on tightly."  He took off, going faster than she had.  "Pinch me if you're having problems," he called back.  He felt her nod so he sped up more, going to the limits of the bike.  He only slowed down when the road got a little rough.  By the dawn they were at the border.  The guards were waiting on them.  He had given her his extra necklace, the cats eye hiding charm.  She was now a blonde who looked farther along.  He had put on the choker so he was Sylvia again.  The guard walked back to his side.  "My  mistress is going for medical attention," he said in Arabic.  It was a little oddly accented but not that much to his ear.  "She is due soon and her husband entrusted her to my care."

"You cannot travel without his permission."  He sneered at her.  "Women such as you get into trouble."  He backed away slowly as the gun appeared.  "Proper women do not use those!"

"This one does," she said dryly, shooting him, wounding him badly.  He got the rest of them, only killing one guard.  Then he drove across the border, nodding at the guards on the other side.  A few hundred feet separated the two sides so they hadn't done more than watch.  "My Mistress' husband has paid to have her eliminated," she said firmly.  "He bribed those men to kill her and me after hurting us greatly.  I am her bodyguard.  I am taking her to safety until he gets psychiatric help.  He thinks she is carrying a demon.  Or another Mohammed, depending on the day.  Please let us pass, her father is on this side."  The guard looked at them, then let them through.  "Thank you. Allah be praised for compassionate men who have some sense of decency."  She sped off, heading to the airport.  Once there, he walked her inside the charter terminal.  A guard stopped them.  "My Mistress is in danger from a psychotic relative," he explained.  "We are taking her back to her father's house.  I am her bodyguard.  Let us pass."  He walked them to the security office, helping Fujiko into a chair because she was moaning in pain.  "Shh, princess, it is all right."  He stroked her stomach.  "Remember, it will be fine.  This is nature's way of making sure your body is ready for the pain.  It is reminding you to strengthen those muscles for the birth."  She nodded, relaxing against his side.  "I know we will have trouble since we are women traveling alone, but she will die, as will the child she carries.  It is male and his heir but he believes it to be demonic."

The guard looked at him.  "I see."  He looked at Fujiko.  "Is she in real labor?"

"Braxton-Hicks, false labor," Xander informed him.  "She is only about six months along."  He lifted his chin.  "We wish to charter a flight out of here to get her back to her family.  Can you help us?  As one professional security person to another?"

"I noticed you weren't native.  Where did you grow up?"

"My father was Yemeni," Xander lied.  "I was born Canadian."  The guard smiled.  "My father also died when I was very young, leaving me to my young, pretty, and clueless mother."

"I see."  He reached over to touch her hair but she backed away from him.  "I could help you, for a fee."

"My husband would be most upset with you if you did that," Xander told him.

"He lets you work such a tough job?"

"He is in the same profession.  That is how we met."  She smirked, glancing at Fujiko.  "If you will not help us, we will do it by ourselves."

"You do not have the papers."

"If it's a matter of a bribe, we can do that," Fujiko said, relaxing now that the pain had receded again.  "My father has money.  I can call him and have him wire some for both jobs."

The guard looked interested.  "Bribes are not allowed but in some circles they do work better."  He looked at Xander again.  "You wear no ring?"

"It interferes with my shooting."

"I see."  He smirked. "You do not shoot with that finger."

"No, but it still gets in my way when my hand curls around the grip of my pistol."  She pulled her weapon, showing it to him with the proper handling.  "See?"  He looked stunned.  "Please, help us get away and we will be most grateful."

The guard nodded.  "Fine, I will.  For a million US dollar payment."

Xander rolled his eyes.  "You do dream big."

"You called her princess."

"It is a term of endearment."  Xander put his gun back, staring at the man.  "As I said, we can go around you."

"I can have you arrested."

"How?  When I could kill you before you reach the phone?"

Fujiko screamed, holding her stomach.  "Fine," he spat.  "Ten thousand, US."

"Deal," Xander agreed, pulling out his card.  It was the one Murami had just killed.  "May I use your phone?"  He nodded, getting out of the way.  "Hold on, princess, we will be leaving soon."  He called Murami.  "It's me again.  Yeah, I finally did get it.  Is this the new card or the old card?  Because I've got to pay a bribe so we can get my charge out of Yemen."  He listened, looking at the guard.  "We're chartering a plane and paying a bribe.  No, she wants to see Fihad."  He grinned.  "You are so great.  I'm going to get you the best present for your birthday.  You have kept me sane this whole last week."  He hung up.  "The wire transfer will be here within minutes."  Someone knocked and walked in, startling him.  He hadn't expected Lupin or Jigen.  "Don't trust me?"

"No, I do, but we worry," Lupin said, knowing what cover Xander would have gone with.

Jigen sat down beside her, reaching over to rub her stomach for her.  "Calm down in there," he said with a touch of fondness.  "You're distressing your mother."

"That one's mine," Xander/Sylvia told the guard.  "I had our accountant wire money for the plane rental and bribe."

Lupin nodded. "I figured as much.  The others are heading off to Greece without us.  Her friend was nearly unconscious again because of his leg."  He stroked her hair to keep her from panicking.  He looked at the guard.  "I am her brother-in-law and head of my family.  There is no way you can stop her."  The guard looked stunned.  "We will pay your bribe but it had better be the last one."  He nodded, going out to get the wire agent to check on the money for them.  "Where are you two heading first?"

"Fihad," Fujiko said, sounding miserable. "I don't like this."

"The whole Middle East is dangerous," Jigen pointed out, getting comfortable.  "Especially for girls."  He looked at Xander, who smirked at him.  "Nice job at the border."

"Thanks."  He walked over, sitting curled up against his side.  "Are you guys going with us to Istanbul?"

"We could," Jigen agreed. "Or we could drop you and the bike off and let her take you to the house."

"Whichever's fine," Fujiko agreed.  "All of us showing up at once will alert the natives."  The guard came back with a man with a computer.  "Is it here yet?"  He nodded, showing her the number.

"Thank Allah," Xander said respectfully.  "Is there anyone here to hire?"

"There are two, neither are reputable," the wire agent told him.  "Where are you going?"

"Istanbul.  Her father is traveling.  These two will go to the main house in Greece while we try to find him."  The guard looked at him.  "She has the best chance of doing so and no one would dare hurt her.  Once we are there, she will be better protected, I know people there."

"I will get the better of the two pilots," the guard said, leaving them alone while the wire agent got them cashed out.

***

Xander pulled into the bazaar in Istanbul, going up the narrow streets on her bike.  Fujiko was still having false pains.  He stopped the clinic but it was closed, so he went to the next source of information. The locals were staring at them too hard for something to not have happened.  He walked Fujiko into the Don's headquarters, bowing to the woman on the throne.  "Good afternoon," he said gently.

"I know of you," she admitted.  "My father spoke of you before he died."

"Did I have something to do with that?"

"No.  My brother did.  He is now dead.  I am now in charge," she said firmly.  He smiled, a friendly enough look for a human.  "What did you need?"

"My traveling companion needs to see Fihad.  Did something happen?"

"Unfortunately, my brother got to him while he was treating a patient.  Neither lived."  She looked at Fujiko, snapping her fingers.  "Bring the poor woman a chair, she is with spawn."  One of the guards went to grab her a comfortable chair, helping her into it.  "May we be of some assistance, consort?"

Xander chuckled.  "He really did tell you about me."  He looked her over.  "You are a vampire now.  I'm glad my suggestion had merit to him.  Is there another doctor you trust?"

She nodded.  "A human one, which would be better.  Unless the child is half?"  He shook his head.  "Then a human one would be better.  The city's underworld does have one.  He usually sees them to terminate them, but I can understand people who want their children.  I wanted mine."  Xander nodded again.  "I will call him.  Where will you be staying?"

"At that same inn," Fujiko said quietly, looking at her.  "Will we have problems?"

"No, no problems," she promised.  "Touching this one is the same as touching royalty.  We do not dare interfere with their wishes."

"I'm a reasonable sort," Xander promised. "All I want is to help her.  She's having false labor pains too early.  She's only six months along."  The demoness frowned, coming down to touch her stomach herself. "Gently, please, she has been having sensory spikes."

"I can feel that," the demoness admitted, giving Fujiko a pat.  "My own spawning was often painful and embarrassing. Proper nest preparation is always key to making it more comfortable."  She stepped back.  "Consort, I will send the doctor to you there, or to whichever inn you end up in if they will not take you.  Try to stay inside.  There are those who would topple me because I am helping you."

Xander shook her hand demon style.  "I appreciate this.  It is now two I owe your family."  She nodded, letting him leave.  He came back.  "What was with Oz?  He said he was here."

"The werewolf?"  He nodded, grinning brightly.  "He was traveling back to his pack and stopped in town because of his needs.  We were quite amused by him.  He was very sweet and gentle.  We only asked him for information on you."

Xander looked thoughtful.  "Speaking of information, where are our medical records?"

"In my personal safe.  I will have her look at it then bring it over to you."  He nodded, giving her another goofy grin before taking off.  "Humans," she said in disgust.

***

Fujiko drove the bike onto the front lawn and let it fall, heading inside.  She walked into Lupin's chest, giving him a fierce hug.  "We're back," she sighed, falling asleep right there.

Lupin looked outside, then down at her.  "Where's Xan?"  She snored.  He rolled his eyes.  "Xander?" he called.  She mumbled something. "What was that?"  She mumbled it again.  "Okay."  He picked her up, carrying her into her bedroom, where her husband was being forced to rest by his student.  "She dumped her bike on the lawn, walked in, and fell asleep against my chest.  She mumbled something about Xander and clothes."  He shrugged, handing her over so Marcus could fuss over her too.  "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Goemon said patiently.  "As I have for the last three days."  He looked at his wife, who was curled up around her stomach.  She was rather adorable in this stage.  "Did she get to see Fihad?"

Lupin shrugged.  "I haven't heard anything out of Istanbul in a while."  He walked off to go back to his deck lounger watching the sunset.  "She's back."

"Him?"

"Not quite sure yet," Lupin admitted.  Jigen looked at him. "We would have heard if he had been arrested."  Jigen grunted, sipping his drink as the sun continued to fall.  "She dumped her bike on the lawn, padded in, and fell asleep as she hugged me."

"That'll be good for the job."  Lupin chuckled at that.  "Are we leaving her here while we work?"

"Here, the safehouse in Germany, or the one in Paris itself.  I want her nearer to places where people with experience can give her the drugs she'll want.  I still don't think I could ever touch another woman again if I had to watch her give birth." Jigen snorted.  "Where do you think he is?"

"Who knows with that one."

"Hmm.  Good point.  I'll check the news more carefully tomorrow."  He sipped his drink, sighing in pleasure as nothing went wrong for another five minutes.  "The housekeeper in France thinks we're getting old."

"We've still got some years left in us."

"True, but she's trying to get us to take a year off.  She thinks we'll like retirement."

"I'd miss smelling like gunpowder all day."

"Maybe that's what happened.  Athens does have that new substance analyzer machine at the airport.  He does do a lot of shooting.  I doubt he has many outfits that aren't covered in blowback."

Jigen sighed.  "He's fine.  We would have heard if he had been arrested.  Besides, if Fuji was on the bike, he was somewhere nearby.  He's not letting her or the baby out of his sight until he thinks Goemon has forgiven him."

"Mm.  Good point."  He looked behind him.  Goemon was sneaking their way.  "Get free of Marcus again?"

"He is stroking my future offspring."  He sat down in a lounger, relaxing.  "Much nicer than my five walls."

"Five?" Jigen asked.

"I have a small pseudo-wall next to the closet where it comes out from the bathroom."

"Hmpf."  He finished his drink and put it aside.  "How is she?"

"Fujiko looks like she swallowed a beach ball and is curled protectively around it."

"We won't tell her you said that," Lupin said dryly.  "Remember, she's not fat.  Telling her she's fat will get you hit again."

"Maybe she killed Xander," Jigen offered, cracking the other men up.  "Then again, she'd probably just push him into the water and he'd be picked up by a mermaid or something."

"I would have liked to have gotten out of our room on the cruise.  Do you think we should take one of those?" Goemon suggested.  "It would be relaxing and depending on which one could also be work."

"An interesting idea," Lupin agreed, considering it.  "Dangerous but a fun game.  Plus, it is the season of mafia princesses going on spring break."  The men laughed.  "If I can find one I like, we'll do that."

"Good.  I could use some time in the sun.  Xander as well, he was looking fairly translucent the last time I saw him.  Especially when he was using his darker hair."  Both men nodded and Jigen had to shift uncomfortably.  "I'm sure he'll be back soon."

"He'd better be.  He's the one who wanted the vacation," Jigen reminded them.

Lupin reached over.  "He's fine.  I know he's fine.  He's Xander so he's definitely fine."

***

Xander looked over as his drinking buddy came out of the bathroom.  "You feel better now?" he asked the inspector.  Who nodded very drunkenly.  "Then let's get you upstairs.  You've had a few too many."  He put down three bills on the bar and tapped them.  "We're going upstairs."  He walked the good inspector away, letting him complain about being promoted.  It was the least he could do since he had gotten promoted because of him.  He used the inspector's key and put him into his room, taking off his shoes and mustard brown overcoat.  Then he gave him a gentle shove, watching as he toppled and bounced on the bed.  "I'll have someone wake you at dawn," he promised, tiptoeing out.  Sneaking wasn't his greatest skill but Zenigata was too drunk to care at the moment.  He left an envelope with the reception desk with some extra cash in case he hadn't paid enough on the bar bill and a quick note reminding him not to go after pretty lounge singers who drew you in and made you want to die for her.  Then he strolled off, not as drunk as he appeared.  He walked into an upscale men's clothier, weathering the disgusted look.  "I need clothes to tempt and tease with," he announced in a suave, smooth voice.  "My present things are all for colder climes."  The man nodded, leading him back to the showroom to look at the models.  "Something soft that says money is my career if possible."

"Of course, sir," the salesman agreed, bowing as he seated him.  "If I may ask, what is your official title?"  Surely this one must be royalty in disguise.  Who else would wear such ugly shirts?

"I'm an illegitimate grandson," he said with a small smirk.  "I'm presently snubbing my grandfather however.  You may call me Antonio."

"Very well, Antonio.  Do you prefer silk, cotton, or something a little more exotic?"

"For some reason I seem to have a slight personality change whenever I wear silk," he admitted.  "I turn into an asshole."  The salesman smiled at him.  "Perhaps it was the silk suits I had been finding in the United States.  LA is not the best for upscale dressing if you're male."

"That is true.  Let me try this one shirt on you.  Authentic silk from China."  He went to retrieve the shirt, letting him feel it.  The man smiled that he did like it and tried it on.  "How does that feel?"

"Much better than the suits did," Xander admitted.   "I like that."  The salesman went to get some in his colors, starting a nice bit of shopping.  When he was done there, he slipped down to his rental car and put on the choker, getting out of the back as Sylvia.  He had changed into the dress he had bought earlier and some of Fujiko's shoes, though her feet were a little smaller.  She walked into the best women's clothier she could find and repeated the same procedure, also getting some very silky undergarments.  Then she walked down to the ethnic markets, coming back with a sari and some new sandals.  She decided on the sari first and went to put it on before driving to the house tonight.  Boy was someone in for some backaches.  She parked and looked at the motorcycle, walking over to lift it back upright and put it on the kickstand.  Then she and her pale blue sari and bare feet walked into the house.  She could hear chatter and headed that way, surprising everyone.  "Gramps is in town," she told them.  "He's drunk in his room, they gave him a promotion so I thought it only fair I got him lit."  She sat down gracefully, blinking at the stunned Jigen.  "I also took the time to find some silk that I *like*.  I'll show you those tomorrow."  She smirked at Lupin, who chuckled, then at Goemon, who shook his head.  Then she looked at her lover, giving him a small pout.  "You're not happy to see me?"

"No games," Jigen told her.  Xander stood up, showing off her incredibly flat stomach and busty chest.  She held out a hand for him and he pulled her down, holding her against his body.  "I want to sit and watch the sunset."  She snuggled into his chest, letting him stroke her back.  That's when he realized she wasn't wearing anything underneath that outfit and groaned.  "Telling me something?"

"Hmm.  I can say it in another way if you want," she purred against his throat.  "You can watch the sunset."  The other two men got up and left them alone, knowing the signs of seduction when they heard them.  Jigen groaned, holding her tighter.  She purred against his throat some more.  "Wanna see what she taught me?"

"You were taking lessons from Fujiko?"

"I did, or actually we took lessons together.  Goemon is in for a show in the morning."  She shifted, straddling his lap to give him a long kiss.  "Upstairs or would you like to look at the stars while I dance for you?"

"D...dance?"

Xander smirked, a devilish look that promised him many hours of recovery.  "I learned how to belly dance." Jigen groaned.  "Would you like me to show you out here?"

"How about we leave that off for right now?" Jigen suggested.  "You're more than tempting enough without it."  Xander stood up, pulling him up but not letting him move.  "What are you doing now?"

"Holding you.  I like being held."  She looked back at him, seeing the stunned look.  "Come on."  He nodded, following her upstairs.  Now he knew why some men were captivated and would follow their women anywhere. And yet, she was still blushing, he could see it on the back of her neck since her hair was up.  He pulled the barrettes out and tossed them onto a table as they passed.  She moaned, licking her lips.  That did him in.  He picked her up and carried her up the stairs.  He found out he was right when he unwrapped her, she hadn't been wearing anything but the thin silk and small top.  She laid where he pushed her, watching him undress.  "Should I move back?  Spread out for you?"

"No.  I like you there," he admitted, tossing his tie off to the side.  She stretched like a cat, making him miss a button on his shirt.  He figured it out and got it undone, then his pants, stepping out of the pile of clothing he had created.  "Wench," he growled, stopping her shifting.  It was inflammatory.  She was flashing him for a second then doing the shy and demure leg crossing.   He loved this.  He leaned down to kiss her, making her moan up into him and arch up.  "Missed it?"

"Missed you."  She flipped him over, holding him down as she kissed him, making him wiggle underneath her.  She moved backwards, licking at his throat and chest.  "Gramps tried to make a pass at me."  Jigen pushed her onto the pillows, moving to lie on top of her and ignoring the sound of the lamp crashing to the floor.  "I found him with a siren singing in a night club.  She had him ensnared and he transferred it to me."  She leaned up, capturing his mouth.  "It made me decide I was going to do my best to make us both sweaty and delightfully worn out."  He chuckled, sucking a mark on her throat.  "Mm, like that."

He nipped her, making her go limp underneath him.  "Much better.  Less talk."  He licked his way down her body, teasing and tempting her.  He knew what she wanted and he wanted it more than he had even as a teenager.  He slid into her, making her squeal and arch up.  He bit her again and she went limp, laying there patiently, giving him such a trusting look.  "I'm jealous.  He can't have you."

"He'd better not try," Xander agreed.  "But I had to tell you in case he tries to pinch me instead of cuff me."  Jigen growled and started moving harder, making her squeak and grab at his back, clawing him with her short nails.  "Oooh, yes!"  She continued to be her vocal self as she went up and down the scale over and over while he played her body like a master.  When he finally came, he gave her one last one, sending her screeching into one final orgasm.

"Damn it, the baby needs to sleep!" Fujiko yelled, pounding on the door.  "You're worse than I am!"

"Yeah, but I...."

Jigen covered her mouth.  "No sharing that stuff," he requested.  Fujiko snorted and stomped off, probably to go jump her husband.  "And we're not dueling with her."

"Yes, dear."  She batted her lashes at him.  "Want to see what else I've learned?"

He nodded, shifting off to his side.  He hoped it was something he could participate in laying down.  He noticed she had licked a finger and was trailing it down her body. He nearly whimpered when she moved the finger lower, teasing herself.  Never mind, he could have a heart attack for her.

She continued, still jazzed from the playing they had just been doing.  It was easy to send herself crashing over now.  Her body was throbbing.   He was moaning and getting hard.  She continued while shifting to go down on him, making him moan worse.  "Please, more?" she pleaded, licking up him.  "This is the only magic I need.  You're like a drug."  He groaned, pushing up into her tongue.  She suckled him gently and he encouraged her head to go lower, which she did.  She really did like this art.  And the other was making her warm again.  She was going to go off soon.  She pulled back to pant against his damp skin, earning a return into her favorite position while he went down on her this time, doing it for her.  She screamed, wailed, and came, thrashing around him.  Damn he was good.  He finally quit sucking on her clit and reared up, plunging back into her.  "More," she begged, trying to clutch his chest.  "Please, Jigen, please!"

He moved closer, letting her suck a mark onto his upper chest area.  It wouldn't show.  She was moaning into his skin now, making him move faster.  This responsiveness of hers was only making him harder and wanting her more.  He didn't care if she did have a stroke during sex this time.  She wailed, arching up underneath him, rubbing against his hair.  She needed just that little bit more and she would probably be passing out again.  Too bad he wasn't ready yet.  It was going to be a while for her.  Teach her to tease in front of the others.  She was begging and pleading now, and he was ignoring the person pounding on the door.  "Go away! She's fricken' enjoying it!" he shouted, working harder.  If Goemon came through that door, he'd have to do something to him.  Lupin came through it instead and he nearly found his gun but instead watched as he kissed her.  "Mine," he growled.  "Mine, not yours, not Pops.  Mine!"

"Yours."  He handed over the gag.  "Dawn sent it yesterday," he said with a smirk as he strolled out, locking the door behind him.

Jigen tossed it over his shoulder.  "You don't need one of those."  He gave a harder s hove into her and she whimpered, batting at his chest.  "Just a little more," he promised.

"One more?' she pleaded, looking into his eyes.  "Please?"

"Sure, wench, one more.  Or two, I'm not near done yet."  Her breath hitched and she pulled off, flipping over underneath him.  That's what he got for not holding her down tight enough. He pushed back into her, giving her what she so desperately wanted.  She was bouncing herself now, letting him catch his breath.  Maybe he wouldn't have a heart attack.  He stopped her when she started to get too hot, stroking her back.  "You still okay?"

"More!" she growled, pulling off to push him onto his back and pounce him again.

He let her, she wasn't going to ignore his needs.  She howled as she rode him, and he had to silence her because others were coming down the hall to stop them again.  He rolled them over, letting her suck on him again to muffle her as he pounded into her body.  So close.  He could feel her tensing around him and gave it one last flick of his thumb, getting a scream in his ear in reward.  She went limp beneath him, managing to stay conscious as she laid there and panted.  He gave a few last pushes and came with a bellow of his own, flopping down on top of her chest.  She gave him a little push, making him give her more room for air, letting him have her stomach instead.  "Damn, woman."

"Less time between bouts," she panted, her eyes closed.  "That's the cure to the raging horniness.  I know it is."  He chuckled, playing his fingers across her sweaty stomach.  "At least I don't have to worry about gaining weight or getting pregnant."  She shifted, forcing him onto his side so she could be cuddled.  "Damn, you're good," she whispered against his chest.  "One of the best ever recorded."  He smirked.  "Can I tease you again tomorrow?"

"Sure, wear something teasing tomorrow," he agreed, stroking her back.  She was good at that and he liked it when she teased him and Lupin.  "Did you remember us getting interrupted?"  She nodded, eyes closing again.  "You nap, you can punish him tomorrow."  He could feel her smirk against his chest so it was going to be a good morning.

***

"I believe we have a clothing requirement, Xander," Marcus yelled from upstairs.

Jigen walked into the dining area, shaking his head.  "Morning."

Lupin looked at him, then leaned closer once he sat down.  "Tip.  White shirt the day after a spectacular sex romp, not a good idea.  The hickeys show through," he said, giving the better one a little flick of his finger.  He sat back up again, sipping his morning coffee.  "Where is our loud thing?"

"Getting something from her rental car."  He poured himself some coffee, knowing he'd need it.  Marcus came in.  "Morning."

"Is there not a clothing requirement among us?" he demanded, looking at Lupin.

"Only for meals or working in the kitchen.  Fujiko's got pissed in the past and walked around naked for days to make me sorry."  Lupin took another sip of his coffee.  "Why?"

"Xander ran out to his car naked and then back up the stairs to hide in his room."  He looked at Jigen.  "I blame you.  She used to be a blushing maiden, not that temptress."  He sat down to pout.

"We'll find you a nice woman, Marcus," Jigen promised. He looked at Lupin.  "Xander shared some information.  Pops is in town.  Xan got him drunk last night because he got promoted to a desk position."  Lupin chuckled, shaking his head.  "While drunk, Pops also hit on him."  Lupin looked at him and he nodded.  "She said so."

"Hmm.  We might have to have a talk with the man then."  He finished his coffee and poured some more, smiling as Fujiko was led in and placed gently into a seat by her husband.  "Morning."

"Morning."  She looked at Jigen.  "You need to flip her onto her stomach and muffle her with the pillows.  You two will wake the baby up some day and we'll get you for it."  He smirked at her.  "Oh, my God, is that a hickey!" she said, grabbing his shirt and moving it out of her way to see it.  "Damn it, she was that loud through you!  You need to gain more weight to muffle your woman better!"

"Fujiko," Goemon said gently, completely embarrassed now.  "Xander enjoys it like you do," he reminded her quietly.  She settled down.  "Thank you."  He cleared his throat.  "What were you helping her with this morning?"

"Bathing suit issues," she said smugly, grinning at the other two older men.

"I was planning on going to the beach later," Lupin agreed.  "Or maybe getting a boat so we don't run into Pops."  He shook his head.  "He hit on Xander as a male? I didn't think he swung that way."

"He did?" Goemon asked.  Jigen nodded.  "Interesting."

"Vulcan," Lupin teased.  The samurai shrugged and smirked back.  He looked up, nodding. "I hear bare feet so Xander must be out again."

Jigen looked back, watching as Xander padded into the dining area wearing a shirt just like his usual one and apparently nothing else.  He looked her over, stopping himself from drooling.  "I know that's not mine, mine wouldn't button around your chest."

"I bought it last night," she said, stealing a kiss before sitting down.

"Are you wearing anything under that indecent look?" Marcus demanded.  Xander stood back up and opened the men's dress shirt, showing off the top of her bikini only to him.  "Oh, dear."  He blushed and looked away.  "Never mind," he sighed.  "Please button back up."

Lupin looked at it, then nodded.  "I like that color on you."  He grabbed the plate of bacon before Fujiko could eat it all.  "Thank you for saving me some."

"Yeah, why is it that we're gaining weight when you're pregnant?" Jigen agreed, taking the sausage from her.

"Because you keep snatching food from my hands," she growled, taking both plates from them. Xander was curled up in her chair again.  "That was quick."

"Electric," he said with a small smile.  "Oh, Lupin, I used your razor.  I forgot to pack mine."

"Fine," he said patiently.  He looked, she had shaved her legs.  Somehow he didn't think that needed an electric razor however.  He suddenly caught the clue and looked at Xander.  Who blushed and gave him an innocent look back.  "Uh-huh.  Do I need a new screen?"

"Not that I'm aware of."  Xander nibbled on the lone piece of bacon she had gotten.  She looked down at her plate.  "I was going swimming today.  Does anyone want to go with me?  I was thinking about renting a boat and going out by the ruins to go diving."  The others shrugged and nodded, that was apparently fine with them.  "Cool."  He wiggled a little and Goemon pushed over the coffee urn.  "I'm good this morning.  Not jumpy in the least.  I'll grab a soda for on the boat.  Thanks though."  Everyone looked at her.  "What?"

"So there is a cure for caffeine addiction," Fujiko said happily.  "Jigen, you could go straight and sell that shit.  The world would thank you greatly."  Xander growled at her and she smirked at her.  "Jealous?"

"Insanely.  Just like you are when I tease your mate."  Fujiko quit teasing Jigen and gave Xander a long look.  "Don't worry.  It's done right. I may have left a few pieces but the mirror didn't show any."  Jigen wiped his mouth and took a long drink of his coffee.  "I'd eat, dear.  Diving is hard work," she said, smirking at him.  When she was done, she got up and padded back upstairs to finish her preparation.  She checked, all the hair was gone, even on her legs and thighs.  No armpit hair.  She was good to go.  She pulled her hair back into a loose french braid and grabbed some shoes and a pair of tiny shorts to put on over her bottoms.  She should probably be decent in public.  She padded back downstairs, going to look at her wallet since she had left it in the office.  She had more than enough money, taking it and tucking it into her bra.  Then she went back to the dining room. "I'm ready whenever everyone else is."

Lupin finished his breakfast.  "Let us change.  Go outside and appreciate the view.  We can walk down the boat dock from here."  He looked at Jigen, silently telling him he'd give him a nice funeral if she killed him the next time, then went to change clothes for a day on the water.  "Someone grab the sunscreen too," he yelled as an afterthought.

Jigen reached over and undid her hair, handing her the ponytail holder.  "Put it back up later," he ordered.  She nodded, sitting down again, clearly waiting on him.  He finished his breakfast more quickly, he wanted to look at this bathing suit.  She gave him a little smile then leaned over to kiss him gently.  "Thank you.  What was that for?"

"For being a good sport this morning and humoring me."  She stood up, helping the struggling Fujiko out of her seat.  Goemon was asleep in his chair.  Apparently he wasn't the only person who had fun last night.  "Will you be okay on the water?"

"I'll be fine," she promised.  She waddled off to find a bathing suit to put on.  The big problem with pregnancy, outside of the extra weight, mood swings, and food cravings, was that her chest had increased a whole cup size and she hadn't been shopping recently.  She found a bag on the bed and pulled it open to peek inside.  She smiled, taking out the dark red two-piece bathing suit.  Just like her favorite one only in the right size. "Thank you.  I will be putting this to good use."  She went to shave, she hadn't in days and probably needed it.  Boy, would the boys be surprised.  She took one of Goemon's spare shirts Lupin had bought on a shopping kick as a coverup, adding a pair of old jeans shorts and sandals.  She left her hair down but put a hair ribbon around her wrist so she could pull it back later.  Goemon liked her hair to be down.  She waddled back downstairs, feeling sexy for the first time in a while.  Xander looked at her and she smiled. "Thank you, sweetie."  She kissed her on the lips, making Lupin, who was walking back in, moan.

"Enough," Goemon told her.  "She doesn't need to learn that as well."

Xander pulled back and grinned at her, licking her lips.  "He's right, but you taste good."  She blushed and walked back to her seat.  He looked at Jigen.  "Go change."

"I don't need to swim."

"No, but you'll want something lighter," Xander promised.  "Please?"

"Fine."  He went to change, Goemon heading up with him.  They knew their part in this game, they had to play along to the innocent demands.  It would make the women happier.

Lupin stood Xander up, peeking down the shirt again.  "Off with it, kid."  Xander smirked and took off both her shirt and her shorts, stunning him.  Now he knew why his razor had been dull.  "You're buying me a new screen later."

"Of course."  Xander quickly redressed before Marcus could get a good look, then sat down demurely again.  "Think he'll like?"

"If he doesn't, I damn well do," Lupin grumbled.  Maybe a three-way?  Jigen shouldn't object to that too much. He saw Fujiko's smirk and looked at her.  "Did you remember to remind her that it'll itch when it grows back?"

"I remembered that from my days stripping.  I had to trim," Xander told him, sipping at Jigen's water.  They locked eyes and Xander smirked, blushing slightly.  "I'm being good."

"Now I know we got the wrong woman to teach you how to act innocently," Marcus told him, frowning at him.  "Xander, I do not need tempted."

"Marcus, quit or I'm finding a prostitute and having her jump you," Fujiko warned.  "If you don't believe me, ask Goemon.  It took him nearly an hour to fend her off."  She gave him a look and he swallowed.  "Good boy."  She winced, sitting up straighter.  His hand came over, stroking the baby to make it quit kicking.  "Thank you.  What's this about Pops being in town and getting promoted, Xan?"

Xander beamed.  "Because of the prison thing, he got promoted.  He's now over *two* rookies.  His other was reassigned to a drug case because the commissioner wanted him to behave and not be obsessed.  He's related. Anyway, he was really depressed when I ran into him.  The commissioner has a house on the other side of the city and he was dragging his butt from there down to a bar.  He didn't even try to arrest me when he saw me.  Just looked at me and gave me this big old sigh.  So I felt it was my duty to get him drunk.  I did, I poured him into bed this morning after paying the bar tab."  She leaned closer.  "About halfway through, he made the nicest pass I've ever gotten, pinched me a little and said I looked better as a man than a woman, and that if I would only give it up he was sure I could find someone to take better care of me while I found a real job."  Lupin coughed.  "He was very nice about it."

"I'm sure he was."  Lupin looked over as Jigen rejoined them.  "Are we set?  Marcus, swimwear?" he said patiently.

"But my books," he complained, pointing.

"Now," Xander ordered.  "This way you can meditate on the water about being like water.  I know that was one of my favorites that I didn't quite get."  Goemon shook his head but pointed for his student's benefit.  Marcus sighed and went to find something appropriate for a day on a boat.  "Anything else I forgot, boss?"

"Lunch?" Lupin suggested.

"There's a deli beside the marina," Jigen reminded him.  He helped Xander up as soon as Marcus got back, walking him outside.  "What was the hair in the sink?"

"I thought I had cleaned all that up," he said, grimacing.  "Sorry, I'll clean it up when we get back."  She put her arm through his, weathering his look.  "I'm young and I'm cute in a town full of lecherous Greek men who like pretty women."  Jigen pulled her closer.  "Did you know that there are men who wander up the street in packs here?" she asked, glancing up.  "Like a gang, only nicer and without the colors."  Jigen shook his head.  "They do, and they whistle and make disgusting references in Greek to your breasts."  Fujiko glanced back, nodding.  "I had to cuss one out last night and beat him on the head as I came back from the ethnic market."  She let him go, skipping ahead to get to the boat rental desk first.  Her money, her choice.  She was going to get some tanning done even if she had to use the eternally pale and sallow Marcus as a reflector screen.  "Hi, we need a boat for the day?" she said cutely.

"Can you handle a boat?" he asked, smirking at her.  She batted her lashes and nodded. "You sure?"  She nodded again.  "They're pretty hard to steer."

"That's okay, I've steered many water crafts," she said in her most sultry and smooth voice, the one she would have used while working phone sex if she had been female at the time.  "I'm very good with sticks and wheels."  He swallowed and handed over the form. "Is there something big enough for six people available?"

"We've got one for ten but it's more for fishing."

"I wanted to go skin diving out by the wrecks."  She looked at him through the curtain of her hair.  "Is there anything *big* and *strong* enough?"  He swallowed and nodded, heading to get her the keys and a temporary registration.  She finished filling out the papers and took them, paying the man.  "Thank you.  For the whole day?"  He nodded quickly.  "Thank you.  I and my men are *so* tired of the city."  She sashayed out, handing Lupin the rest of her stash.  "You can get lunch while I drive the boat.  We're in slip," he looked at the paper.  "Eighteen."  He jogged that way, finding the boat and hugging the side.  "Perfect."  She hauled herself up the rope ladder, letting down the gangplank for the others while she looked over the controls.

Jigen walked in, picking her up and putting her out of his way.  "I'll drive."

"But only I know where we're going," Xander complained.  "I promise I've done this before."  Jigen looked at him.  "I could be mean and take off my shorts."  He gave her a look so she took them off, tossing them onto the seat with a flick of her foot.  She slowly unbuttoned her shirt, watching as his interest grew.

"It'll take more than the sight of your tits to make me give you the wheel," he said firmly.  The shirt came open fully and he stared. "You shaved!" he demanded.  Xander grinned, blushing faintly.  "Shit, now I really feel like a pervert."

"Really or really, really?" Xander teased, leaning in to steal a kiss.

"Let's go," Lupin yelled as he climbed on with the bags.  "Xander, I got you two sodas."

"Thanks, boss."  She slipped in front of her boyfriend, wrapping his arms around her waist.  "Let me, you can help," she told him, starting the engine.  He checked the moorings then moved them out of the harbor to the spot she had found a few days back.  It would be fun and a wonderful present.

***

Xander laid down on her stomach, closing her eyes against the sun. She had just come up from diving, having found her target, and now wanted some sun before going back down.  Fujiko was laid out nearby and was already oiled up and glowing in the early afternoon sunlight.  Warm hands came over to work on her back.  "Thanks, Lupin."  He sat next to her, looking down at her.  "What?" she asked innocently.

"I seem to remember reading something about this spot," he said quietly.  Xander grinned.  "Xander?"

"I used to research too.  Back in the day it was only the four of us mainly.  Someone had to do it when Giles was reading ancient texts on masturbation."  She turned her head in the other direction.  "Do you remember what day it is?"

Lupin thought, then suddenly smirked.  "Nice job.  The ruins of one of Aphrodite's temples and his special day."  He leaned down.  "You're still going to be replacing the screen on my razor so I don't have to think about what you did while I'm shaving in the morning."  Xander grinned again.  "Naughty kid."

"Yes, I am," he said quietly.  She wiggled her eyebrows.  "Lunch?  I figured I'd take him down with me around three or so."

"I've almost got it ready.  You want to eat out here?"  Xander nodded. "That's fine, you could use some sun.  Try not to go topless yet though, okay?"  He left her there, going in to work some more on lunch.  Jigen joined him.  "I've read about the ruins," he told him. "They're supposed to be really pretty in the afternoon sunlight."  He glanced at Jigen, who was staring out at Xander.  "We were only talking."

"I'm not jealous."  He looked at his best friend.  "What is she doing?"

Lupin gave him a nudge on the arm with his fist.  "She found out when your birthday is."

"So she shaved herself for my birthday present?"

"That too."  He winked.  "Don't worry, Fuji will be napping soon.  Marcus and Goemon are meditating together on the other side of the ship.  I'll stay down here and read."

Jigen shook his head.  "She really is corrupted now."

Lupin laughed.  "Not totally.  That blushing isn't an act.  Not yet."  He moved around him, getting the cooking wine.  "We're having lunch in about a half hour.  Go rest in the sun. You're pale too."  He gave him a little shove, getting him out of the galley and outside. The least he could do would be to aid Xander in her grand plan to seduce him underwater.

Jigen walked out, sitting beside Xander.  "How did you find out about my birthday?"

"I knew our first year.  I asked you while you were drunk."  She looked over him, giving him a grin.  "Don't worry, I've hidden your present under the water and around three we'll be going down to get it together."  Jigen raised an eyebrow.  "After that, you can determine what you want for the rest of your birthday."  She leaned over and stole a kiss.  "You need some sun.  You're as pale as I am and I look like a vampire according to one of those packs of boys."  She put her head back down, watching him.  He tipped his hat down and laid back, letting the sun tint his body once again.  "Good boy.  You relax until we go diving and then we'll see what you want for your birthday."  She stroked his arm, making him look at her. "Anything at all."

"I'm still tired from last night."  He hoped he never needed viagra, she'd probably kill him.  She smirked and shifted closer, leaning against his arm with her breast.  "You could go topless."

"Lupin said not to and that I had to replace the screen on his razor since I used it to get so close to smooth."  Jigen groaned.  "Was that a belly rumble?" he teased.

"No, it was the sound of a tired man who desires to do more than his body will allow," Goemon said as he moved to wake up his wife before she burned in the strong sun.  "I hear it nearly every morning from myself."  He gave her a gentle shake.  "You will get a bad burn.  I won't be able to hold you for weeks."

"I've got sunscreen on," she reminded him, smiling at him.  "It's okay.  But my stomach could use another coat."  He sat next to her, working on recoating her stomach for her, making her moan.  Even being twenty-six weeks along she still wanted him.  It was heady for both of them.  He looked at her and blushed so she kissed him.  "Kids, go tan somewhere else.  I'm too comfortable to move."  She squealed as he picked her up and carried her off to tease her on the bow deck.

"I'll hold lunch," Lupin called after them.

"Lunch?" Fujiko said, then she shook her head.  "Sex first.  Thanks, Lupin."  Goemon laughed as he carried her off to have his way with her again.  "What?  The baby's hungry."  She stroked her stomach and he moaned.  "I take it I'm doing this again some day soon?" she asked dryly.

"You had better," he vowed.  "I seem to have no self control when you are this way and I must learn to control myself."

"Control away," she taunted.  He pounced, making her giggle and shriek, wiggling underneath him.  "Pillow," she pleaded.  "For my back."  He moved her onto her side, taking her that way instead.

Jigen shook his head.  "Those two are insane."

"I know that feeling," Xander quipped, opening the back of his small bikini top.  Jigen looked at him.  "He's in the galley taking out his frustration on a fruit salad."

"How appropriate.  Let me oil that for you."  He smoothed some oil under where the cloth had been.  "I didn't need a present."

"Hush or I'm tying you down and teasing myself until I pass out later," Xander threatened.  Jigen groaned, sliding closer.  "Or I guess I could bring in a camera so some people could watch it."  That got a breathing hitch.  "Like I said, whatever you want," she said gently, stealing a kiss.  "However you want me, even if you want me dressed up as some school marm."

"School marm?"

"I hear some guys get off on that and I wasn't going to comment on the state of anyone's deep sexual kinks," he explained.  "If that's what you want for your birthday, I'll do it."

"No, that's okay.  I didn't really like any of my teachers that much."  He moved his oily hands down, teasing the side of her breast.  "What would you like?"

"You.  I'm not that picky otherwise."  She kissed him again.  "Whatever you want, dear, as long as we can dive before five and head back."

He nodded, pulling her into his arms.  He licked his lips before kissing her again, making them softer so they wouldn't ruin hers.  She groaned against his lips.  "I think a quickie would go okay," he told her.  "I want to see."  She wiggled, stripping out of her thong for him.  He flipped her onto her back, looking down at her hairless mound.  He could see a few hairs on the inside and teased them.  "You missed a few."

"I nicked myself when I tried to get those."  She gave him an innocent look.

"Don't do that, you look like you're too young to be legal when you give me that look."  She stretched her arms above her head, exposing herself totally to his inspection.  "Very nice, Xan," he praised.  He leaned in, kissing her again.  "How do you want me?"

"That's what I'm supposed to be asking you," she reminded him.  She sat up, sliding into his lap to kiss him more.  Her fingers worked on his shorts, exposing his briefs, and those were able to be pushed out of the way.  She slid onto him as much as she could, making him arch up into her tight heat.  "Liking?"

"I like a lot.  Let me get those off for you."  He pushed his clothes out of the way, letting her have her way with him.  She did feel different without the hair.  "Is it more sensitive?" he asked.  His finger found her clit and she squealed. "I guess it is."  He smirked at her.  "That's the danger of shaving, little one.  You get much more sensitive."

"Then you'll kill me with sex for your birthday.  Someone will do CPR," she pointed out.  He laughed, wrapping her back into his arms.  She shifted up and down on him, teasing him more than anything in this position.  Her though, she was going to get off soon.  He knew *just* what to do to her and it amazed her how receptive she was to it.  She felt warm hands on her back and looked back.  "Sorry, are we bothering you?"

"No."  He reoiled her back.  "Waterproof stuff so you can sweat and not burn.  He'll be miserable if you get a bad sunburn.  I did the same to Fujiko since she was passed out on top of Goemon."  Jigen looked at him and he shrugged.  "I'll get mine soon."

Jigen looked at Xander, then nodded.  "Join in."  Xander looked stunned.  "Not your idea?"

"Wasn't in my plans, and it's not *my* birthday," she reminded him.

He nipped her lips.  "This way I'm spared dying from this before I get my present tonight."  Xander grinned and wiggled, pushing him backwards.  "Like this?" he asked.

"Perfect," Lupin agreed, using the oil to slick himself and Xander up.  "Go back to what you were doing."  She was pushing back onto him and he was working her slowly.  A long, slow ride then.  He knew how responsive Xander could be to those.  Though she never made those extreme noises for him.  Maybe this time she would.  He slid into her stretched opening, making her breath hitch and her back tense.  "Relax."  He and Jigen looked at each other and the other man flicked her clit.  He could feel her shivering.  He moved, then Jigen moved, then Xander took over.  She was extremely talented at this art.  He had no doubt she would be, but he couldn't do more than hold on.  He hadn't had a ride like this since his youth.  He ended up closing his eyes and leaning against her back, letting her have whatever she wanted from him.

Jigen was in the same state.  His wench was a fiery princess of sluttiness now.  She was going to kill him this time.  His vision was tunneling and she was still going.  She was playing with herself too, and it was making it all the more sweeter as she let herself go.  He grabbed her hips to slow her down but she was writhing in ecstasy and he knew from experience that there was no stopping the first orgasm, or the next two that would follow.  Then she would slow down and he'd have a chance to return the favor.  He heard Lupin moaning and it was making this all the sweeter for him.  It wasn't just him she did this to, it was Lupin too, and that made it more permissible in his mind to die from the sex.  She came, shrieking loudly.  He gave her a nudge in the right spot, sending her crashing into aftershocks.  That g-spot was handy for her.  Her clit was enlarged, rubbing against him, he could feel it spreading slickness through his hair.  She leaned down, stealing what little air he was getting.  "More," he moaned.

"Breathe, sweetheart," she whispered.  "No passing out until after I do."

He smirked and pushed up hard, making her squeal.  Her hand was dislodged and he got her clit back, playing with it until her mind was gone.  Then he went back to what he did best, not caring that other fingers were coming around to help her off.  She was making those loud, beautiful noises and he was soaking them up like the sun.  Her breasts were bouncing right above his face so he sat up to capture one, making her start to pant.  "Tell me," he demanded.

"More!" she demanded, shoving them into his face.  "Shit, more, now!" she ordered.  "Before I have to do it myself."

"Shh, calm down, we've got you," Lupin promised, whispering in her ear.  God she was hot like this.  Now he understood why Jigen took every chance he could to steal her.  He'd have to do it more often.  Xander would never be outside of one of their beds from now on.  She squealed again, and he could feel the tightening around his cock, making him groan.  Just a little longer.  He needed just a little more.  She was bouncing unrhythmically now, he knew she was close to the end of her tether.  The others had been mini-orgasms for her.  He'd only met one other person who had these, and the end one was always amazing.  He worked her clit harder, moving in tandem with Jigen now, they were controlling everything, like she liked.  Her breath caught and she went limp in their arms, prompting both of them to come together.  He groaned, leaning down to catch his breath while he stroked her back.  "And I thought Tisha had those," he shared.

Jigen laughed.  "Is that what those are?"  Lupin nodded, pulling out to flop to the side.  "Damn.  I've never had one like her."  He stroked her back, making her purr and hum.  "I think she's out."

"Probably.  Damn, I'm going to die," Lupin complained.

"It takes time to build up to it.  That's why I only get her like this very rarely.  I'd die."  He closed his eyes, grabbing his hat to put back on.  "Sweetheart, wake up."  She mewled and nuzzled his chest.  "I think she's truly gone. The last time she complained of having a bright spot in her vision.  She said she had a stroke."

"That's one hell of a compliment," Lupin pointed out.  He flopped onto his side.  "Thanks for sharing her."

"No problem.  Next time steal her sooner."  Lupin smirked.  "She's mine tonight but maybe I'll hand her over tomorrow so I can recuperate."  Lupin nodded. "Good. Is there any juice or oxygen?  I feel my age now."

Goemon carried over two glasses of juice.  "Here.  Women like that will always make you feel your age.  I had forgotten it was your birthday.  I'll find you something later."

"That's okay, I'm good on presents," Jigen said smugly.  Xander lifted her head, giving him a bleary look.  "Why don't you go clean up?"  She shook her head, swinging it widely from side to side.  "No?"

"Hell no, I like smelling like you afterwards," she said.  She allowed herself to fall to the side and laid there like a big cat, falling asleep in the sun.

The three men laughed, shaking their heads.  Two of them got her dressed while the other went to blush at his wife.  She gave him a hug and reminded him she'd probably have to be shaved for the birth.  He groaned and buried his red face against her neck, letting her soothe him again.

***

Xander dove over the edge of the ship, doing a nearly flawless dive into the water.  Jigen jumped in feet first, heading after her.  It was just the two of them since it was his present.  She swam off to the ruins, going slower so he could see some of the sights.  It was a pretty temple.  The remains of the statues were gorgeous.  Even better than the Venus DeMilo in his book.  There was the main chamber.  They swam that way, pausing near the altar.  Xander bowed and moved the stone, exposing two trunks.  Jigen looked at him and he smirked, pulling one out.  She handed it over symbolically then took the other, swimming off.

Jigen surfaced first, he had the lighter one.  His breather was spit out to float near him. He looked up, seeing the inquisitive look.  "I think we're going to need a net or something.  My presents seem to have been hidden in the temple.

Xander came up, taking great breaths.  It hadn't been that far down and she could do that.   "The rest is up to you guys, but the pirates usually come right after sunset.  Can we have something to haul these up?"  Lupin looked stunned, so he beamed.  "Surprise!  And these two are Jigen's birthday presents.  You guys can scour the rest of the ruins."  Fujiko lowered the fishing net, letting them put their trunks into it before turning on the winch.  Xander climbed up the rope ladder, heading up to the deck so she could look.  "Morning," she said happily.  Marcus shook his head, giving her a fond look.  "What?  He needed a spectacular present."  Lupin dove over the side, taking the breather from Jigen so he could head down and look.

Marcus took off his shirt.  If he found something great, if not, still great for him.  He found a few breathers, tossing one back down to Jigen before jumping in feet first.

Goemon stripped down to his loincloth and dove in, heading after them.

"The water's only about eight feet deep," Xander yelled after him. "Be more fucking careful!"  He patted Fujiko's stomach.  "That way he can spoil you, little girl."

"Boy," Jigen said as he joined them.

"The ultrasound said girl.  Well, the bellybutton cord was in the way but the doctor thought it was a girl."

"The genetic test said boy," Jigen told him.  "Goemon nearly danced around at that news."  He sat down to look at his presents.  "Should I open them?"  Xander got out of the way, watching as he opened them.  The first had cash, mostly wet, a few pieces of jewelry, and some other assorted stuff that looked like it had been taken during robberies.  The second trunk had a few more pieces of jewelry.  It was apparently the one they were filling.

"I thought there'd be more down there," Xander said, sounding disappointed.  "Should we wait for them and blow them out of the water, then pick through the wreckage?"

"Not today.  I'd like to have a peaceful birthday."

Lupin surfaced.  "I found the gold stash from that job last month," he said excitedly.  "Fuji, lower the nets.  We'll split it evenly. What was in the others?"

Jigen looked over the side.  "Mostly robbery stuff, some jewelry.  I haven't done an in- depth look yet.  Want help?"

"We could use it.  It's a huge pile."  Xander dove in again, going over top of him.  "Wow.  Be more careful!"  He looked up and Jigen jumped down.  "Watch the boat, Fuji, we'll be right back.  Lower the nets now."

"Fine," she agreed.  "I'm too buoyant to dive anyway."  She got the trunks free then lowered the nets, keeping watch for them.  As soon as the first load was done, she hauled it up and then dumped it, sending it back down again.  This was really nice bullion.  Scummy pirates didn't deserve this stuff.  She could see a boat coming their way so she sat on the edge of the boat, using the beach towels to cover up the stuff they already had.  It was a pleasure boat, a drunk and happy couple who waved at her.  She waved back, smiling.

"Are you all right?" the male called.

"Just fine, my husband is diving," she told him, stroking her obviously pregnant stomach.  The woman nodded, looking like she understood.  "Have a nice day."

"You too."

"Would you know where the temple of Aphrodite ruins might be?" the woman called.

"I think they're over there," she said, pointing behind them.  "We visited some earlier.  We're doing some now, but I don't think this one is a temple."

"Thank you."  The male putted the boat off.  They would still have fun exploring, even if they didn't find anything.

Fujiko saw the net be tugged on and she started it again, watching the other boat.  More gold came up, along with someone's breather.  She tossed that back over the side, watching as it disappeared.  Someone needed to not lean over and admire the gold.  Another two trips had everyone back on the boat and them figuring how to get everything back up to the house.  She nudged Jigen.  "Think he'd do the baby's coming of age party?" she teased.

Jigen shook his head.  "Probably not.  At least Xander's working with us."  He looked at Lupin, who was doing a count of the bars.  "Any ideas yet?"

"The second trunk is nearly empty," Xander offered.  "Most of it could go in there, the rest in the food bags and towels."  Lupin nodded, testing the trunks.  "Or the first could be emptied and then used if it's more sturdy."  The second had looked a little flimsy.

Fujiko looked at her mate.  "Maybe we should put some gold leaf in the nursery?  That way the baby appreciates the good stuff from day one."

He shook his head.  "There will be enough for him to gnaw on once he starts to crawl about.  Let us stick with a more traditional nursery."

"Teddy bears?" Xander suggested.  "Rocking horses, maybe a fantasy dragon or two?"

"A traditional, tasteful nursery," Goemon amended.

"Babies seem to get mental stimulation from large geometric shapes and simple contrasts," Marcus told them.  "I've been doing some research.  They say mobiles with either basic geometric shapes in bright colors or in black and white seem to work best.  It seems to stimulate the baby's budding mentality and make them more interested in the world around them.  The same books also proposed a large border near the ceiling since babies are supposed to be laid on their backs, that will give them more visual stimulation."

"Suddenly, teddy bears do not seem as bad," Goemon noted.

"Grateful Dead bears," Xander suggested.  "Bright, soft, and fun dancing bears."

"There should be no stuffed animals in the crib," Marcus said firmly.  "Babies can roll into them and suffocate.  The same as there should not be quilts, pillows, or other such fluffy things in there.  Light blankets should be enough for a very young child."  Goemon patted him on the back.  "Sorry, but I do want what's best for him.  He'll be the first child I'll be around.  I'll be judging whether to produce any of my own on this one."

"Fortunately I'm infertile so I'm going to live vicariously through yours," Xander told him.  "I've already figured out how to introduce the little guy to the supernatural and magic.  Starting with a long lecture not to pray to Janus or ever make a wish to a strange person."  Lupin and Jigen both snickered.  "What?" he asked.

"I can see you walking the toddler up to a vampire and teaching him," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "This is a vampire, dear," he imitated.  "It's a mean, bad thing who likes to eat people.  That's why it's okay to stake it."

"Go grr," Jigen added.  "Come on, go grr for the baby and I'll make it a quick staking. He needs to know so he can taunt people."

Goemon shook his head, trying not to smile.  That was something he could see the boy doing.  "No."

"Not until he's old enough to hold a stake and know the consequences of his actions," Fujiko ordered.  She smiled. "Then you can do that.  I want to see you telling a vampire to 'go grr for the baby'."  She broke, laughing so hard she was leaning against her husband's side.

"Xander, when did you run into a wish demon?" Marcus asked.

"I dated Anyanka, Vengeance for Scorned Women. She got stuck in Sunnydale because of Cordelia's wish.  She got to see what a vampire me was like.  We just got to see Vamp Willow.  She wasn't that much different than magic addicted Willow come to think of it, only in a leather catsuit."  He shrugged and went back to his helping.  "I'm putting one Grateful Dead bear in the poor guy's room but I'll make it in an out of the way spot.  He'll appreciate it when he gets older."

"Thank you," Goemon agreed.  It was better to give in, Xander would do it without their permission.

"Is this one going to be the fourteenth?" Lupin asked.

Goemon nodded. "A first born son is a good sign of a future prosperity.  Most of us have been firstborns."  He stroked his baby's back, earning a kick for waking him.  "He'll live up to the name and do many great things."

"Of course he will.  The kid can't do anything that one of us won't be able to counter," Jigen told him.  "Shit, between us, we've got all the major vices sewn up.  We can show the kid how bad it is.  Plus, we'll have you teaching him, her teaching him, and us teaching him things now and then."

"The poor thing's going to be a group all in one," Lupin agreed.  He smirked.  "It'll keep some of us from having our own."

"I'm still infertile," Xander said plainly.  "But I'll gladly adopt some day.  I'll find a kid like me and take him from his family, teaching him better and that people do give a damn about him."

Lupin looked at him.  "Are you sure of that?"

"My tubes were scarred over when I was with Anya.  I'm sure."  He finished his count of the money in the trunks, writing it down for Jigen, then moved onto the jewelry.  "Cheap stuff mostly," he said apologetically.

"That's fine, it's the thought that counts," Jigen promised, giving him a pat.  "Maybe we should take another night?"

Xander stood up.  "Let me call the guy."  He padded into the wheelhouse, picking up the phone that was marked with the guy's number.  "Hi, this is the woman from earlier?" he said, using that same smooth and sultry voice.  "Is there *any* way we can stay out tonight too?"  She giggled.  "That's fine, we can do that.  Thank you.  We'll be right in."  She hung up and bounced out.  "We can, but only if we go back and pay him now.  Apparently the pirates are having a bad week and have been bothering boats."

Lupin nodded. "That's convenient anyway.  We can park nearer to the house.  Fujiko, I want you and Marcus to run up to the house and get us some clothes, some strong bags, and that sort of thing."  She nodded.  "Xander, food?"

"I gave you the money I had on me."

"I've got more.  I never leave the house without something when I'm with a woman," he said, giving her a look.  "Every time I do, you want a candy bar."  She leaned down, kissing him gently.  "Thank you. Fujiko, get Jigen a weapon too, and Xander if you can find his."

"I think I left it under the seat in my car," he admitted, looking confused.  "I was a tad bit drunk when I went shopping last night."

"Driving drunk in an unfamiliar city?" Goemon said sternly.

"Not that drunk, slightly tipsy, and I have that neat map feature on the car.  I can't get lost."  She sat down again.  "Unless it's gone off in the heat, it'll be under the seat. Next to the gear shift."  She nodded, making a note of it.  "Or my other three are up in my room in my main bag.  The one in the car is the derringer."

"I'll get that one and toss it into the kitchen to cool off," she promised.  "No more drinking with Pops."

"The poor guy needed it, Fujiko.  They pulled him from the field and gave him *two* rookies.  They even made him work with Dawnie since they found out who she really was and that she was that good."  Lupin hummed in appreciation of that one.  "Speaking of which, who gets the matchmaking assignments?"  Fujiko raised a hand.  "He has the hots for Dawn.  I have no idea but I think she likes him or she would have hurt him worse during the reception.  Something to think about while you're in recovery from the birth."

Fujiko shuddered.  "Eww.  Bad thought, Xander."

"If it'll make him happy, he might quit chasing us," Lupin told her.  "How are we running with a baby?  I know he asked."

"I told him Marcus would demand to sit or I would if you needed him," Xander told him.  "One of us is always not doing something."

"I'm more useful back at the house anyway," Marcus agreed.  "I'm not well trained enough to be in the field but my research and backup skills are excellent."

Lupin nodded.  "Good point.  You want to be the nanny?"  He nodded, looking very pleased.  "Guys?"

"Suits me," Fujiko noted.  "Goemon?"

"Fine," he agreed.  "Though I will be instructing him in the finer family traditions he must uphold."

"You're teaching me them anyway," Marcus reminded him.

"Good point.  Plus Xander can take weeks off now and then to play with the baby as well.  It will soothe any maternal ache he may have in this form."

"Speaking of forms, Fuji broke my cats eye necklace," he announced.  "My other is taking longer to wear off.  Fair warning, 'cause I'm not giving this one up."  Lupin looked at him and he shrugged.  "I'm selfish, yay me."

"That's a good attitude for a thief," Fujiko assured him.  "We all are or we wouldn't be doing this."  She stood up.  "We should head back."  Jigen got up to pilot the boat.  "Any other surprises, Xander?"

He beamed.  "There's a birthday cake in the fridge.  An ice cream cake."

She laughed and hugged him.  "If I do this again, I'll let you be the head spoiler and Lupin can help you.  You seem to know just what I want."  She strolled away, taking the samurai and apprentice samurai with her.

Lupin leaned closer to Xander.  "How much did you keep?" he asked patiently.

"Enough to be slightly empathic when I'm tired, drunk, or agitated.  The prison was hell," he complained.  He went back to looking.  "Isn't that a fake gem that they're claiming is real?"  Lupin nodded.  "Good.  Thought so."  He marked it down.  "Are we expecting me to go on after you guys retire?"

"I doubt we'll ever fully retire, but we'll pull you with us so Jigen and I don't shrivel up like most retirees do," Lupin promised.  "We'll let you go out and play being an assassin to the bad pirates."

"Thanks, boss.  Love you too."  Xander looked at the next piece, writing it down.

Not Yet!

Xander padded down to the office the morning after they had returned the boat, going to see if he could help.  "Jigen says he's resting before I kill him," he said with a small shrug as he sat down.   "Can I help?"

"Sure.  Let's find out how much information you have.  Pirates?"  Xander grinned.  "How did you hear about the pirates?"

"I heard in Istanbul.  They've been bothering people there too.  Up and down the sea.  I thought it'd be a neat birthday present and since we were heading this way anyway...."  He trailed off.  "You didn't like?"

"I did like it, but I would have liked some warning."  Xander blew a kiss.  "I know, we were safe, but none of us had any weapons."

"Against three pirates who can't fight?  I could take them out.  Marcus could have taken them out."

"Three who can't fight?"

"That's how I heard about it Istanbul.  Some guys saying they were these guys, complete with details that hadn't made the papers, were in one of those nice illegal bars bragging and drunk.  One of the small thieves from the city's underground challenged them for some ruby they were tossing around and beat their asses, even though he didn't fight that well.  It raised his status a lot and may have found him someone to help him learn new skills.  They walked out very shamed men and went back to their boat, the Angeline.  I did a newspaper search while we were waiting on the midwife to show up and found out all I could.  They've got this hiding spot, one near Istanbul, which I turned over as a show of good faith to the new Donnette in town, and two nearer to Italy.  They've got a special cave they live in near Cyprus.  The police can't ever seem to find them in it however and any cops they leave there end up floating on the sea in a life raft.  I figure they've got inside information.  Three men so I'm guessing they've using girlfriends who are secretaries and stuff."

"You got all this from the papers?"  Xander nodded.  "How?"

"Reading between the lines.  The Italian ones mentioned the Cyprus cave.  The ones from Istanbul related how they're going up and down the coast and theorized that they've got multiple places to store stuff.  The Greek ones I found mentioned that they had been seen in the ruins here off the coast a few different times.  The local bar in town told me which ruins out of the six they've visited was the stash."  She leaned back, getting comfortable in the chair.  Her bare legs were crossed and the small top she had worn under her sari pulled at her breasts.  The slim workout shorts were doing great things for her stomach and crotch and it was clear she wasn't wearing underwear again today.  "I've thought about scoping some of the other ruins but I figured I'd pull my birthday stunt first.  They're back toward Istanbul right now according to the rumors.  They work in a cyclical pattern, or more of a figure eight if they've got good targets.  They're annoying, and the locals *swear* up and down that they're actually gay pirates, which makes them worse."  She grinned.  "They seem to hate the gay worse than the pirate part."

Lupin nodded.  "That's pretty standard for the area."  He got comfortable.  "What else have they done?"

"Mostly minor stopping ships and pillaging.  There have been no rapes, very little killing or wounding.  One of them is supposed to have a cutlass that he waves around in a, and I quote, limp-wristed manner.  The other two carry guns but they're regular pistols.  They don't seem to have heavier artillery or machine guns, that anyone has seen.  They stay away from Lesbos, Crete, and Sicily at all costs.  They nearly put into harbor in Lesbos once but they apparently ran away.  They hide in and around most of the rest of the islands.  No one's got a *good* description of them.  Most of the witnesses do say that they've got one guy with a huge nose.  Two of the three have black hair and one has medium brown.  They're all tanned, one looks leathery now from too much sun.  They're all men.  One of them likes to wear a pink shirt, probably after having fading or doing the laundry wrong.  Their ship is a sloop a little bigger than the one we rented.  It's got a single deck with a wheelhouse.  It's white with blue sails, mostly sun bleached but apparently they've bought or stolen one new one, a small upper triangle."  She shrugged.  "That's all I've gotten so far."

Lupin smiled.  "Good work, Xander."

"Thanks, boss.  Oh, they've all got sweet teeth.  Every time they run into a honey shipment they steal entire holds of it."  She crossed her legs in the other direction.  "We're not sure why."

Lupin laughed.  "Another interesting fact."  He looked at the list of what they had gotten from the ruins.  "Could the other sites be found?"

"Not without some searching.  Or some local intel.  The gold was their biggest heist and they had to dump it before going out onto the main sea because of the storm that night.  They were too heavy and might have capsized.  They seem to be at the pleasure-boating level of driving, they do it for fun but they haven't souped up their boat to go faster from what little I've heard.  It's already fast, the police boats can't catch them, but that's been more sneaky and good luck on their parts.  They go in during high fog and a white ship isn't easy to see in it when it's running silent."

"Interesting."  Lupin tapped the notation for the gold bars.  "I was going to have those sold.  Does that bother you?"

"Nope, I like cash best.  It's easier to carry around," she said smugly.  "I need a new pair of handcuffs, Fujiko took mine and won't give them back."

Lupin shivered. "I didn't need to know that."  He looked at his helper.  "Do you really want to back off to help take care of the baby?"

"No, but I do like standard vacations.  I can't pull twenty jobs in a year, boss.  I'd get really tired."

"True.  So would we."  Someone rang the doorbell.  "Who in the hell?" he muttered, but Xander stood up, heading out to answer it.  Her gun had apparently been tucked in her back waistband.  He walked out to look out of the office.  "More books?"

"No.  Just one cop," Xander said.  She looked back and Lupin shrugged, waving him to open the door.  She opened the door, looking at the police officer. " Yes?"

"Ma'am, I'm a messenger from Inspector Zenigata," he said bitterly.  "He said there is a truce and he needs to meet you here."  He handed over the paper and backed away.  "He said you wouldn't shoot me."

"I haven't yet, feel lucky," Xander told him, making him pass out.  "We need someone who can do mind wipes."  She walked away, going back to the office since there was obviously going to be a meeting.

Lupin came out to look at the local cop, shaking his head.  "That's too bad for you, kid.  Xan, can I have your rental?"

"Make sure it's clean first," Xander called.

"Of course."  Lupin grabbed the keys, going to make sure he had gotten everything out of it, finding a few bags forgotten in the trunk.  Then he put the guy into the backseat, handcuffed with his own cuffs, and drove him down the hill.  He hiked back, shaking his head as he locked the gates.  "Stupid kids."  He walked into his office, taking the note Goemon had been reading.  "What's this one about?"

"Dawn."

Lupin raised an eyebrow.  "What about Dawn?"  He read the note, grimacing.  "Why is he calling on us to help?"

"His boss said so," Xander said simply.  "They like Dawn.  They found out who Dawn was and what she had been doing, so they gave her the job officially.  They want her back.  I suspect Buffy's being a bit overbearing about it."

"Do we need to steal Dawn?" Goemon asked.  "That shouldn't be that difficult."

"Nephews," Xander sighed.  The older men all groaned.  "I know Dawn, she'll be protecting them, this is Buffy's way of getting her back.  Is her email account still open?"  Lupin turned on his computer, sending a test, then shook his head when it came back seconds later.  "Then I'm seeing the hand of Buffy strongly.  She's going to try and force Dawn to go straight.  Her version of straight."  She got comfortable.  "Do we get any US newspapers?"

"Only the New York Times," Lupin admitted.  He logged onto a news server, clicking on 'Cleveland' and waiting while his usual sorting ran through.  "We have here one disturbance down that way.   Oops, we have a court case.  Dawn filed for custody of the kids."  He looked at Xander, who was shaking her head.  "Do you think she needs help?"

"I think she needs help but a single person could do it.  Ooh, check my mail, my secondary account.  I've got it set up so any new bounties hit it from the network."  He leaned forward, looking at the screen.  "There's a Buffy bounty," he said fondly.  "Military?"

"Go," Lupin sighed.  Xander kissed him on the cheek.  "Are you going like that?"

"Probably.  At least this way Gramps won't pinch me on the ass again."  She padded up to her room, going to get changed and pack a small bag.  Once up there she logged onto her email accounts herself, printing out everything she would need to give Dawn's attorney, or Dawn.  She came back down in a power suit, heels, and with a small carryon.  "I'm going."

"Do not take my bike," Fujiko called.

"Yes, love."  She walked out, going to find a cab instead.  The meeting was in the park in about an hour.  She had even remembered to bring a book.

***

Xander looked over the edge of her book as someone coughed, putting her bookmark in her place, which activated that bug, the other was in her phone in her purse.  "It's a pretty day and the birds are singing.  So why are we meeting?"

"Because my boss wants Summers," Zenigata said firmly.  "May I?"  Xander waved a hand, letting him sit beside her. "Did you find the bounty?"

"For Buffy."

"There's one for her whole group now.  They found Rosenburg's one against you."

"Which referenced history.  So now the Americans know.  Shit."

"Not only that, they know more than that.  They found that one place's file and went back down into it.  What happened to that town?"

"Hellmouth sucked it in."  She shifted.  "And?  What's the rest?"

"They've got video footage from the security cameras.  That base was harmed but not enough.  It took them this long to decode it.  My boss thinks this will change the world order and it's pissing her off.  It got dumped onto me and she *ordered* me to work with you on this.  She wants Dawn free and clear, even if you have to steal her and her nephews."

"And Rosenburg's," Xander noted.  "They're in England though."  She grimaced as she thought.  "I can easily help Dawn get away.  Buffy's hand has been showing for a while.  My former friend is not subtlety in action."  She stood up.  "Fine.  Are we both going to Cleveland?"  Zenigata nodded.  "Deal.  I'll work with you.  This time."

"My boss promised me a field position if I pulled this off," he said bitterly.

Xander laughed.  "I'll write her a glowing recommendation.  After all, you make us have to get better.  If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have learned six languages in the last year and a half."  She walked away.  "I'll meet you there.  I've already got plane tickets."

"And I'm in the seat next to you," he said, hurrying after her. "We are supposed to be working together, Harris."

"Don't call me that.  The only ones who have that right are my friends, Zenigata."  She glanced back at him as she opened the door to his car.  "Which you aren't."  He nodded at that, stiffening his back.  "Good.  Am I driving?"

"That would draw attention to us and I don't want that."

"As long as you don't try to handcuff me as a ruse, we'll be fine," Xander said firmly.  She opened her purse and took out her cell.  "Morning," she said bitterly.

"Buckle up."  He glanced at her.  "I'd never try to handcuff you after what you did in LA to those poor guards.  Even though you did warn them."

"Yes, that was him," she said as she did so.  "He was *ordered* to help me get Dawn free.  Or else they'll keep him behind a desk forever."  She snorted, handing over the phone.  "Him."  She checked her makeup in the visor mirror, glancing around them.  "Tell him Marcus looks like a stuffy Brit tourist."

Zenigata looked behind them, then at her.  "Where?"

"In the park."

Zenigata listened to the returning tirade.  "This wasn't my idea, and I don't like it, Lupin, but my boss wants her safe from the freaks in the military.  She considers you safer."  He sneered.  "Of course I did.  You didn't try to hide it this time."  He hung up and handed the phone back.  "He's not pleased."

"What about this do you think would make him happy?" she asked.  "Hello, not exactly the natural order of things."

"I tried to argue that too, it didn't work.  She was insistent," he said as he pulled away from the curb.  "Before you argue, I do obey traffic laws."

"If I had wanted to go faster, I would have taken Fujiko's bike.  As long as we make it to the airport in time.  Though, the first person who suggests we're bickering lovers, I get to hand them to Jigen."

"You are?"

"None of your business."

"True, it's not.  Why are you going this way?"

"Because I was having fun in this form and I don't want it to end yet.  So let's do this quickly so I can go back to my vacation and visions of spoiling the baby."

"Oh, yeah," he said, digging in his jacket pocket, then tossing something at her.  "He left that at the prison.  The DNA off it was very interesting."

"He probably thought it was gone for good," Xander said, looking at his present to Fujiko. "I'll send it back to her."  She put it into her purse.  "How's your rookie?"

"Not mine anymore."

"I know that, how is he?"

"Obsessed with stopping you if he can find a way.  Just you, not Lupin."

"Good.  I needed more groupies."

"There are crime groupies?" he asked dryly.

"Yeah, I found one before I went with Goemon.  I let her go with her fantasies of danger."

"That was...decent of you."

"She was sixteen, Zenigata, and I prefer my lovers more experienced and realistic about me," she said dryly.  "I have no desire to be some girl's bragging point with her friends."

"I made you learn six languages?"

Xander nodded, shifting a little.  The seat was much harder than the normal cars she rented.  "How else are we going to get by you if we're not smarter, better, and faster."

"Maybe I should retire, make it easier on the next generation," he said bitterly.

"And you'll do what?  Grow bonsai trees?" Xander asked.  He glared at her as they moved through a red light.  "Nice job.  Not even an accident.  Are you sure I can't drive?"

"No!"

"Fine.  Quit staring at my breasts then."  He firmly went back to staring at the traffic in front of them.

***

Lupin winced as he heard the annoying repartee over the wire Xander had activated with her phone call.  "Damn, I'm almost feeling sorry for the old man."

"We could go help," Fujiko pointed out.

"We could, but it won't help much," Lupin told her.  "We can better help from here."  He looked at Jigen, who was silent and stone faced. "I'm sure Pops won't try anything, and if he does, Xander's going to hit him."

He shook his head.  "I'm wandering down the hall of what can go wrong with this scenario."

"Those two won't get along," Fujiko snorted.  "Xander will kill him."

Jigen nodded, she was relatively pissed by her voice.  Though he had heard it aimed at him before.  "Has anyone decided if we're backing her up, just in case?  She is known in that form in Cleveland.  I doubt he's going to leave her alone long enough to allow her to change with the choker."

"Bathroom at the airport," Fujiko told him.  "We've gone over this scenario before."  She looked at Lupin.  "You forgot my bracelet?"

"I didn't realize you were wearing it.  I'm sorry."

She nodded. "That's okay.  We have it now."  She leaned forward.  "DNA off a bracelet?"

"Epithelials," Marcus said as he walked in, handing over Xander's book. "Skin cells.  She left it in the park."

"She can buy a new copy in the airport," Lupin offered.  "She'll be fine.  This isn't a situation where she's going to have to panic.  I doubt the American military is going to be coming after them today or tomorrow, and even then we can run to her rescue if they do show up."

"That leaves one horny cop and the problem of an international warrant out for his arrest," Jigen pointed out.

"Technically, he doesn't have any," Fujiko said smugly.  "The Minister of Justice decided not to press charges against him because it would make that whole thing more public.  Dawn wiped our others the other day so we're all clear for the moment.  Unless those pirates complain about us."

"I left a calling card," Lupin said smugly.  "Xander found out quite a lot about them."  He hit the button to rewind the tape from earlier, letting them hear it.

"When did you bug the office?"

"The last time we were here," he said with a smirk.  "I wanted to know why you and Goemon kept ducking in here.  Which is why I paid for you to take your honeymoon in Bali instead of here.  I liked my old desk chair, thank you," he said dryly.

Jigen looked at her. "You did?"

"I had nothing to do with that," Goemon said, blushing brightly.

"You enjoyed it," she reminded him.  He blushed brighter, turning his head away.

"Apologize," Marcus said firmly, glaring at her.  "Such honorable and noble men are not made to be embarrassed by their wives!"

Fujiko laughed.  "What?"

"Please, no fighting," Jigen complained before he could retort.  It wouldn't get them anywhere.

"Kid, you've got some strange notions," Fujiko told him.

He scowled.  "Perhaps, but he still deserves better than to be embarrassed every day.  I have gotten onto Xander for much the same offense."

"Calm down," Lupin soothed.  "She likes picking on him and he can always stop her if he's upset by it.  After all, withholding sex works with Fujiko."  He looked at her and she blanched.  "Now can we move on?"  Everyone nodded.  "Thank you.  We have other pirate treasure sites and no Pops anywhere.  Goemon has asked that we look at the possibilities of working a few cruises as well.  Do we have a preference?"

"There's the debut event next month," Fujiko noted.  "All the company's founders."  She grunted, cradling her stomach.  "Calm down," she complained.  "I'll steal you some pretty stuff."  The baby kicked again, harder this time.  "Ow."

Marcus stepped in, touching her stomach.  "Behave," he said quietly.  "Soon enough."  The baby quit and he stepped back.  "Wouldn't we have to go back to France to pack for such a job?"

"We probably would," Lupin agreed.

Goemon was looking at his student.  "It appears he already appreciates your touch."

"According to the sources I've been looking at, all babies are empathic.  They react better to calm people.  She was probably excited."

Jigen looked at Goemon.  "Has he been kicking during sex too?" he asked.  Goemon glared at him.  "Just asking."

"Last night," Fujiko announced.  "All night.  We woke him up."

Goemon went back to his blushing.  That woman would be the death of him yet.

***

Xander came out of the bathroom, having changed her appearance.  Now she was a brunette again, but her chest was smaller and her body was a little too thin.  Basically, a female version of what he would have looked like when he was on the swim team.  He found Zenigata chatting with a newspaper person, walking past him to hit the car rental desk.  Some things didn't need a badge.  She made it nearly all the way through the paperwork before he caught up to her.  "Very good," she praised.

"You're still very distinctive," he growled.  "Do not try that again."

"Fine." She handed over her working debit card, watching as it was run, and declined.  "What?"  She took it, looking at the number.  "Hmm."  She dug around, finding the other copy.  "Try this one," she sighed.  It was run and accepted.  "I have no idea what that was about."  She took it back, signing the slip.  "Thank you."  She took the keys, heading out into the dark night.  He was right behind her.  "Do you have a hotel in mind?  I'll split expenses with you as long as we get a suite or separate rooms."

"I don't care," he said bitterly.  "You get paid better than I do."

Xander stopped, turning to look at him.  "Was that bitterness for your life's work I hear?"  The inspector glared at her.  "Do not blame me, or my boss, for your choices.  You became a cop for your own reasons.  I became a gunwoman for mine.  We each make our own choices."  She turned and continued to walk to the car, finding it by the lot number.  "Not what I rented," she complained.  She whistled sharply, bringing the lot attendant.  "This isn't what I rented."  The man looked at it, then pointed at the next lot up, it had a different letter in front of the number.  "Thank you."  She walked that way with a sigh.  "Another wonderful start to a job in Cleveland.  With any luck I won't get trapped here by a blizzard.  Or vampires."   He got in to drive, letting Zenigata load his stuff into the trunk.  Her bag was compact and went into the back seat.  She started the engine, prompting him to hurry up.  "Buckle up.  They will ticket us here," she said patiently, doing the same.  Then she pulled out of the lot, the airport, and onto the interstate.  She flipped on the radio and joined the other motorists in their excessive speed.

"Not every car is a getaway car," the inspector complained.

"It's an American tradition.  You can go up to five miles an hour over the posted speed limit on the interstate and have very little risk of being pulled over.  If you go much above eighty, you're screwed, but seventy is usually acceptable.  Of course, only Americans would realize this, but still."  She glanced at him.  "Did your weapon make it through customs?"

"As did yours," Zenigata told her.  She shook her head.  "It didn't?"

"It's being sent to me.  I'm relying on yours tonight, or I can go buy a toss-away cheaply for the next day."

"Here?"

"Here.  There are gangs and pawn shops," Xander said patiently.  "Weapons aren't that hard to get in America," she pointed out.   "People complain about that all the time."

"Why didn't you use the badge Dawn got you?" he sneered.  "Too good for it?"

"Left it back at one of the other hideouts."  He turned down an exit, heading to his favorite pawn shop.  "Stay in the car," she said patiently, heading inside.  "Raul," he said, blowing a kiss his way.  He blinked.  She took off the choker, making him splutter.  She put it back on.  "I need a gun for a few days.  Dirty is fine."  He nodded, going into the back and coming out with a compact pistol.  "Fine.  Great.  Bullets?"  A platform was handed over.  "Bless you, my dear."  She blew a kiss again and put some cash on the counter.  "I'll only be in town for a few days, I'm rescuing a friend.  No jobs or anything."  Raul nodded, watching her ass as she walked out.  She got into the car, loading everything into her purse.  "There, much better," she sighed happily, heading to the hotel she had liked the looks of.  Their backup during the museum job.  She hadn't stayed there, it'd be fine.  She pulled up in front of it, wincing at the sign.  "Shit."  She got out, heading inside.  "Are there any rooms open?" she asked in a sweet, midwestern voice.

The hostess smiled and nodded.  "A few.  Most of them are doubles."

"I've got a colleague with me, a male colleague."  The woman winced.  "No suites?"

She shook her head, looking upset.  "Unfortunately not, but there's also not any in town.  There's a national Shriner's convention in the Civic Center.  They're taking up most of the rooms in town."  She looked at her computer.  "I can put you in adjoining rooms so you can work together," she offered, smiling at the man who came up behind the nice woman.  "Would that be all right with you, sir?"

Zenigata looked at her.  "How much?"

"Our rooms are presently going for sixty a night.  How long was your stay for?"

"Hopefully not more than three days," Xander sighed.  "I have a friend in trouble."  The hostess nodded, she understood about those things apparently.  "That okay with you?"

"No cheaper places?"

"As I just told her, there's a Shriner's convention in town," the hostess told her.  "They're taking most of the rooms in the city.  We are the most reasonable right now.  Even the Day's Inn is going for sixty a night."

"That'll be fine," Xander said, handing over the working card, taking back the bullet that had fallen out.  "Good luck charm," she said with a small smile.  "My baby sent it with me."

The hostess smiled.  "I understand those sort of things.  Whenever I travel, I take mine's picture with me."  She booked them in, handing over the keys to her.  "There you are.  I'm sure you can get your friend out of trouble."

"I hope so, she just gets worse and worse each time I see her," Xander sighed.  "Thank you."  She looked at the number on the envelope as she headed for the elevator.  "You can pay me back later."  They headed up, Xander leaving her door closed, even when she heard him open his.  She opened her laptop, checking her email and sending one to Lupin.  He tried to send one to Dawn's but it was still bouncing back.  "Wonderful."  Someone knocked on his door so he went to let the annoyance in.  "What?"  She went back to checking her mail, finding the one from Lupin waiting on her.  "Funny, boss," she muttered as she typed.  "Not."

"What did the crook send?"

"He reminded me not to upset him by ever sleeping with you or Dawn."  She typed in their location and room number, sending it back.  "As if."

"I'm sure he covets you himself," the inspector said bitterly.  He opened the adjoining door.  "This way I can keep track of you."

"I'm still going to close it before I go to bed.  I sleep naked.  As Goemon has found out a few times."  He choked.  "He comes up to wake me for practice when I'm late," she said dryly.  "He's Fujiko's and only hers.  She jumps him often to prove it."  She pushed back the longing she was feeling at those words.  Damn it, she wanted to be with Lupin right now.  Jigen was tired and had told her to go jump him today.

"How did you change your look?"

"Trade secret."

"Uh-huh."  He gave her a look.  "How?"

She looked up.  "Trade secret.  You don't ask Broadway starlets how they change their looks.  You don't ask me."  She went back to checking her mail, finding one from Ethan.  "Hmm.  Former snuggly bear.  What does he have to say?"  She opened it, smirking at the opening pleading for his life.  Then the smut further on.  "I'm not going back to you, Ethan."  She wrote out a reply to him, assuring him his life was safe unless Janus tried her patience again, and that she had more than enough men in her life at the moment.  Besides, Lupin had promised he could teach her how to do the multiple orgasm thing as a male.   Once all her mail was checked, she went to search that 'mini-orgasm' thing on the net.  Interesting.  She smirked as she read.  That was *so* her.

Zenigata looked over her shoulder, then blushed.  "Women aren't like that," he said firmly, going back to his room.

"I beg to differ," she called after him.  "I know one who is.  It's quite fun.  Want a testimonial?  I'll call and get you one."

"No!"  He slammed his connecting door and she smirked, closing her own and locking it.

"Sweet dreams," she said smugly.  A new message icon popped up and she clicked on it, reading the smutty one from Lupin for what she had just done to Gramps.  "Gee, thanks, love you too, dear.  Just think, Jigen sent me to you this morning."  A new message came up, a long groan.  She laughed and replied, sending a kiss, a cuddle, and a virtual blowjob.  Then she surfed and found a kinky card site, sending both her men one of those.  She turned off the computer and the listening device, getting ready for bed.  Dawn had court at eight in the morning.

***

Xander walked into the courtroom, tapping Dawn's lawyer on the shoulder and bending down to whisper.  "Some information she needs.  It's very important."  He sat down in the row behind her, giving her a small smile.  Then she nodded behind her, making Dawn's eyes widen when she saw the other person who had come in.

"Your Honor, may I please have a few more minutes?  Some new information was just handed to me," Dawn's lawyer asked.  The judge nodded so he broke open the envelope.  He read the first paper, then looked back at Xander.  "Hallway, now," he hissed.  Xander followed him and Dawn out, giving Dawn a hug.  "What is this?"

"The truth," Xander sighed.  "We found it last night."

"You're one of her less than savory contacts?" the lawyer asked.

"You might say that," Xander agreed with a grin.  "Lupin the Third sent me."  He shivered.  "I see you've heard of my benefactor.  He found the warrants for her, Buffy, and Giles' arrest by the military, even though none of them have served.  They'll be wanting the kids as well to test them.  The person who came in with me is one of Dawn's new coworkers with the ICPO.  He's an inspector.  I'm presently being forced to work with him," he said dryly.  "His boss wants her back in safe territory with the kids.  What do you need from me?"

"I need Lavelle to show up," the lawyer said honestly.

"Tomorrow?"  The lawyer's face lit up.  "He's traveling.  What else?"

"I, um, we need the inspector probably."

"That's what he's here for, but we would like a concession.  Have the records sealed."  Buffy came out, joining them.  "Morning, Buffster."  He looked at Dawn, then at her.  "Close the door."

"Xander," she whispered, shutting the door in the bailiff's face.  "What is going on!  I don't want you near Dawn or my kids!"

"Buffy, the military has a bounty out on your head and a warrant out for your arrest as a deserter, even though you were never one of them," he said bitterly.  "For all of us actually."

"You're a man?"

"Only some days."  He bowed.  "Lavelle."  He looked at Buffy again.  "Her present bosses, the ICPO, want her back and safe.  Oh, I want a copy of all Willow's files," he said, looking at Dawn.  "Plus my picture album she took after giving me away."

"We had to!" Buffy said angrily.

"Gee, really?  Considering it didn't stop it and they still solved it another way?" Xander said, sounding more bitter now.  "Just think, if you had been a better friend, I wouldn't be happy now.  So thank you."  He looked at the lawyer.  "I can change form but I didn't bring any male clothes with me.  Will you need me this morning?"

"No."  He shook his head, giving him a worshipful look.  "Tomorrow will be fine.  Thank you, sir."

"Hey, I only wanna see Dawn happy.  She's one of the few of my friends who didn't try to have me killed and stood up for me in my reasonable anger."  She looked at Buffy.  "Unlike her sister, who tried to have me killed."

"You killed Cordelia," Buffy snapped.  "You had Willow killed.  You killed Wesley."

"I allowed Cordelia to fulfil her destiny, Buffy," he said tiredly.  "She ascended to a higher plane.  If you don't believe me, ask Angel.  I will admit that I did Wesley, I got him back for everything that creature did to me."  She went pale.  "As for Willow, I didn't ask.  She earned it by finding a way around Dawn's deal and sending me back to the demon."

"You deserved it," Buffy snapped.

He backhanded her.  "No one deserves to be raped, mutilated, and killed twice," he said calmly and coldly.  "If you think so, I hope it happens to you some day.  I will do whatever is in my power to get those kids away from you so they're not tainted.  They're still innocent and I hope like hell they don't grow up like me."  He walked Dawn back in, letting her go to her seat while he took his again.  Zenigata looked at him and he shot her a glare.  The inspector shifted but didn't say anything.  Xander looked at the judge.

The lawyer walked Buffy back in, handing her to her lawyer.  "I'm ready, your honor.  The extraordinary information will be necessary to my case."  He cleared his throat.

"Proceed with your opening then," she ordered, looking back at Xander.

The lawyer paused a moment then opened his mouth.  "It is our contention that Miss Buffy Summers is not a fit mother.  Her sister, while having a slightly indecent past, is a much better mother to the children as she has shown since coming back to help her sister.  We have proof that not only is Miss Summers under a federal warrant that may or may not ever be served, but is also a violent and sadistic creature to her friends.  Among that end, I have taken the liberty to call an unconventional witness, one who can only be here for a day before he will be arrested.  In his reply, he stated he felt strongly enough about this matter to risk being arrested to come in and testify on my client's behalf.  I will be presenting him later if it pleases you."  The judge looked startled.  "The person in question is an old friend of both Miss Summers.  He has proof that she managed to ignore his desperate pleas for help and even managed to turn on him because of the situation he found himself in directly because of their mutual friend's influence.  In this case, Miss Buffy Summers could have stopped it and did not.  Then she tried to convince their friends to have him killed.  I have no doubt that such things are relative to her children's upbringing.  She has the children in a school and daycare that believes in the most strict punishments and uniforms for infants.  She is constantly around dangerous people."  He paused again.

"My client is a much better person.  She has left her old life behind to come back to the life of non-crime.  Even though she was once one of the better jewel thieves in the world, she has left that world to help her sister and take care of her nephews.  As such, she has entered into gainful employment with Interpol, helping them catch other criminals.  Her direct supervisor has sent one of her coworkers to testify on her behalf, and to try to arrest my star witness."  He paused again, taking a drink of his water.  "While my client is far from perfect, she joined that life to get away from her overbearing sister.  She also joined that life because her sister has some slight mental problems in her belief structure.  Not that I doubt she believes such creatures are real, but it is not wholly acceptable."  He saw Buffy grimace.  "I am also, at this time, putting forth a motion to seal this courtroom due to the violent nature of the witness I am bringing in and to seal the records for the criminal's behalf, only giving them to Interpol when they present a warrant.  Had I known that he would agree, I would have requested this sooner."

"Who is this witness?" the judge asked.

"The gunman known as Lavelle, Your Honor."  She looked impressed.  "And her coworker is the famous Inspector Zenigata.  He's already here.  If it would please you, I would ask that we seal the courtroom and all records before we go any further.  There will be some things said that need not be put into the public record.  It could only harm the children later in their lives."

The judge looked thoughtful as she looked at the other table.  "Do you have any arguments against that?"

"No, Your Honor, he is right, my client does have certain beliefs that are not strongly held by the masses."  He looked at him.  "How did you manage to find an international criminal?"

"I emailed him," Dawn told him.  "I ran with Lavelle.  He's one of my best friends, and one of my sister's former best friends."  The other lawyer looked like he got it.  "The children will be removed from the courtroom?" she asked.

The judge nodded.  "Definitely.  I want them out of harm's way in this case."

"He'd never hurt them.  Lavelle will not shoot an innocent."

"Be that as it may, they probably won't get to know him?" the judge asked.  Dawn shook her head.  "Then they don't need to meet him now."  Dawn nodded and Buffy slumped.  "Can you agree on a person to watch over them during the trial?"

Xander stood up.  "There is a couple I know who can, if they're in the city," she offered.  "There is a Faith and Ethan Rayne who will not harm the children and know of them already as they have custody of some children that belonged to a friend of both Miss Summers."

"Are they in town?"

"Ethan said he was heading this way.  He had just heard, Your Honor."

"That's fine.  Until such a time, Bailiff, please put them in my office and watch them.  I'm sure we'll be fine with the Inspector in here."  He nodded, taking the children into her chambers. "Thank you, ma'am, you may sit." Xander sat, smoothing her skirt underneath her.  There was something off about her but she didn't know what.  "When will this Lavelle get here?"

"Tomorrow morning, your honor.  He's taking a flight in tonight as far as I know.  He could have found a hiding place in the city already for all I actually know and be shacked up with a prostitute or six."  The judge raised an eyebrow.  "It was noted during his first visit that he was quite lively in that area."

"I see.  Hopefully he will be coming alone and not with his criminal gang or such unsavory ladies?"

"I'm sure he will," the Inspector agreed.  "We have information that he did travel this way partially and will be here tonight.  I will allow him to testify before trying to once again arrest him."

"Thank you, Inspector."  She looked at them.  "Very well.  Please clear the courtroom.  I want no innocent bystanders anywhere near these proceedings. Just in case gunfire erupts."  More officers came in and escorted out people.  "Leave her," the judge said when they tried to move Xander.  "She brought in information.  I believe it is relevant?"  She nodded.  "Then you may stay."  She waited until the doors were closed and locked.  "Stop recording for a moment," she ordered.  "You're bringing an internationally known gunman into my court?  Are you insane!" she snapped.

Xander stood up.  "Dawn was right, Lavelle would never harm an innocent.  He has much to say on the subject of Miss Buffy Summers and about Dawn.  He wishes to be here to do this.  He is willing to take this risk to see the children removed from their mother's care before they're hurt like he was.  He doesn't want anyone to suffer through the life he lived."

She looked at her.  "Who are you?  Start recording again."

"Lavelle's official spokeswoman."  She smiled.  "I know him quite well."

"One of his ladies?"

She shook her head.  "A fellow gunwoman who respects him."

Zenigata coughed, shaking his head.  "My boss ordered me to bring her, Your Honor.  She bent all of Interpol rules to get this case settled.  She wants Dawn and the children safely away where she can watch over them.  Since Dawn is now profiling thieves and assassins for us, we need her.  Lupin's gang alone costs us billions of Euros a year chasing him. "

"I see.  Does Miss Dawn Summers know them?"

"She took some minor training under Lupin," Dawn told her.  "Then she left the life to come back to her sister's side because her sister needed her.  Buffy was badly injured at the time.  When things settled out, she saw how horrible things were for the children.  What sort of daycare puts the kids into little military uniforms?"

"We have a daycare in the city that has uniforms?" the judge asked.  "I thought we only had upper levels and religious schools that did that."

Dawn's lawyer brought over a picture of the children in their uniforms.  "There is one.  It is a privately run place.  It is also very strict.  It has rules against loud laughing so you can't disturb others.  I'm all for some structure for children, but that's ridiculous in my opinion."

"It's one of the better ones in the city," Buffy defended.  "They have high test scores, good behavior, and the kids like it there.  Their friends are there.  They get to play like normal kids too."

"Play what?  Nazi and Jew?" Dawn asked.  "I saw Morgan's head the other day, Buffy.  It looked like he had been kicked in the head with a dress boot."  She looked at the judge.  "I admit, they're going to be going to daycare and school with me, and they might have uniforms in regular school, but I'm going to pick schools that have things like art class.  This one doesn't.  I want the children to have as normal of an upbringing as possible.  Even though they'll be in Europe and we'll have bodyguards."  The judge looked at her.  "In my new position there will probably be people who will be pissed at me.  I will probably have bodyguards sometime soon."

"The ICPO has arranged for her to have a decent house in suburban Paris, Your Honor," the Inspector noted. "It already has a good security system on it and she'll be able to work from home most of the time.  The schools there are very good.  I can get information faxed to you about them if you wanted."

"You want my kids to be French?" Buffy asked.  "Home of rude, smelly, unshaving women?"

"That is a stereotype, Miss Summers," Inspector Zenigata told her.  "Not all French are rude, they're only rude to the British and the Americans due to their attitude problems."

"That whole 'wanting to rule the world thing'," Xander added for good measure.  "It pisses off most of the world.  Trust me, done some traveling in my day."

The judge coughed.  "While that is interesting, I would like to keep it polite in here."  They nodded, settling back in their seats.  "Do you have anything you can present today?" she asked Dawn's lawyer.

"I do.  I have the notice of the federal warrant and bounty out for Miss Summers, both of them unfortunately, and for very odd reasons."  The judge looked at him and he swallowed.  "Miss Buffy Summers has done things in the past that got her sister noticed as well.  She is listed as a secondary target.  They truly want Miss Buffy Summers and a Mister Alexander Harris."  He frowned and looked back at Xander.  "Lavelle?"  She nodded a little.  "Ah!"  He nodded, suddenly getting it.  He turned back around. "I do feel the need to warn you that things will get very odd in this courtroom, Your Honor.  Unless we are forced to use euphemisms."

"I had been warned about that already," the judge admitted.  "According to some briefs offered by people on Miss Dawn Summer's behalf, both of them are into the occult?"

"More or less," Dawn admitted.  "Both of us have fought the occult."

She nodded.  "They said you might say that."  She looked at Buffy.  "It also said that you would probably be dead within another three years due to something coming up.  I have made copies available for both of you."  She held them out and the lawyers came to get them, handing them over to their clients.  "Is that one of the reasons we wanted the court sealed?"

"That and Mr. Lavelle's presence, Your Honor."

"No, this is not happening!" Buffy said angrily, turning to hit Giles with the papers.  "The Watchers suggested I give the children to Dawn!"

"Well, Buffy, they do know things that you do not," Xander reminded her calmly.   She glared at him.  "Hello, needed help last year from Lavelle.  Starting to sound familiar?"

"Faith handled that."

"Lavelle handled that and Faith went with him," Dawn corrected.  "She got to finish ripping it apart."

"Is this the same Faith?" the judge asked.

Giles cleared his throat as he stood up.  "There is more to this story, Your Honor.  There is the matter of people who have the duty to this fight.  In this case, Buffy is one such, as is Faith.  As are others whom we work to train.  Faith is not exactly on the same side we are.  Faith is healing from going dark herself.  In the case that nice young woman mentioned," he said, weathering the snort, "Faith came in after Buffy was severely injured.  It was the same injury that led to Dawn turning her back on her profession as a jewel thief.   She did *aid* Lavelle in besting the creature. She was also slightly injured from that same event.  Inspector Zenigata was here at the time because his boss was tracking Dawn and had gotten captured as well.  He can testify that it was both of them who went."  He looked at Buffy.  "If they're right, the children are targets," he said softly.  "Think about what we went through with Glory, Buffy."  She shuddered, curling up a little.  "Let her have them.  They will be safe with her and I dare say Xander will be watching out for her."  He looked at Xander, who nodded.  He looked at her again.  "Or do you really want to rehash the last five years?"

She looked at him.  "They're my children, Giles," she said bitterly.  "Not hers."

"Yes, but you were warned when you got pregnant with Morgan that this might happen some day.  Your duty is to protect all children, not just yours."  She nodded, looking down.  "You can always go visit.  The same as I will be able to."

"What about the biological father?" the judge asked.

"He walked out a few months back," Giles admitted.  "We have been unable to trace him."

Xander coughed, not moving from her comfortable position.  "He's in a jail in Lima, Peru, awaiting extradition back.  He was expelled from Peru but will not be facing charges here.  He is also known to have a very bad temper and Buffy has had to file charges against him in the past.  If the children go to him, I can only guess that Lavelle would feel obligated to steal them from him and remove them to Dawn's more gentle care.  Even though she does swear, a lot, she is still a caring and nurturing creature.  As shown by the care she gave Lavelle when he was ill the last time."  The judge looked stunned.  "What?"

"You know a lot about this man."

"He told me so."

"Hmm.  I would like to hear how bad this is going to get.  Both mothers have faults."  She looked at the young woman.  "Can you get him here this afternoon?"

"Sure.  I'll have to contact him but I was going to go clothes shopping today anyway."  The judge looked at him, looking a little confused.  "Anonymous phones."

She looked a little startled.  "Fine.  This afternoon, no later than three if possible.  I will allow a recess until then so the two sides can talk.  Hopefully an amiable agreement can be reached without the court interfering in this case."  She banged her gavel.  "Try to work it out, ladies. If what they wrote was true, it would be better for the children.  I'll have them sent out."  She walked out, heading to her office.

Xander slipped out of his seat.  "Stay," she told the Inspector.  "Or go back to the room."  She walked off, going to take the car shopping.  She got out of her car, adopting a Russian accent, slightly flawed still.  "My husband has an interview," she told him.  "I need to find him something."  The salesman walked her to the suits, letting her test them.  "Do you have anything, how do you say, snazzy?  He is younger than I."

The salesman smiled.  "That's hard to believe.  You look very young yourself, ma'am.  Do you know what size he is?"

"He is my height, and his shirts barely button over my chest.  He'd prefer something like what they wear on TV, in those shows about the gangsters that he loves."

The salesman smirked behind her back.  "Of course.  Come try this on," he suggested.  He loved women shopping for their husbands.  There wouldn't be any fitting on this one.

***

Xander walked into the courthouse through a back door he had scoped out earlier, heading up to the judge's chambers directly.  He tapped on the door.

"Enter!"

So he did.  She squeaked, grabbing her throat.  "You wanted me to appear today?" he asked, closing the door.  "I'd rather not go out there yet."

"The Inspector has promised not to arrest you yet," she told him.

He nodded. "I know.  I heard."  He smirked, sitting down.  "Do you want me to surrender my weapon to you?  It's a toss away so I don't care."

"If you wouldn't mind.  I will bring it in with me.  I would like to remind you not to shoot at the officers."

"I'd never do that," he promised.  "Unless they drew on me."  He grinned.  "I only hurt those officers in LA a little and that's because they were pricks."  She looked startled.  "Sorry.  Immigration problem a few months back."

"Oh.  That was you?"  He nodded.  "Interesting.  Mr. Harris perhaps?"  He nodded again, grinning at her.  "What happened?"

"You know how they fight the occult?  Buffy and Willow helped send me to a big-time demon to hopefully help a situation in LA.  They didn't have my permission, they didn't have the authority, and it didn't solve the problem.  They ended up solving it a different way and Dawn ended up getting me free."  He touched his silver hair.  "That's a direct result of that incident.  As are these," he said, lifting up his shirt to show her the scars on his stomach.  She swallowed.  "I had worse.  It took me nearly two years to heal fully.   During that time, I found someone who not only gives a damn about me but sees me as useful and talented, something Buffy never did.  I have someone who likes to look at me, play with me, and listen to my ideas, which Buffy never would, and I have someone who likes to let me spoil her rotten because she's pregnant and deserves it.  Which Buffy always liked."  The judge nodded.  "Yes, I am a bit bitter."  He pulled his toss away gun, handing it over.  "Here you are.  Is it time?"

"Nearly."  She stood up.  "If you'll give me a few minutes?"  He nodded, heading out of her office.  She took a few deep breaths.  "Who knew criminals were so sexy and exciting?" she muttered.  "That is not the average bad guy in this city.  It must be the European influence."  She fanned herself, calming herself down.  She looked at the picture of her and her husband on their honeymoon to remind herself she was married.  "He's an internationally wanted felon, I can't have him," she reminded herself, gathering up her papers.

Zenigata saw Lavelle and sneered.  "Look, it's a crook," he said bitterly.  "You're late."

"I've been here.  I had to hand over my weapon, for now," he said with a slight grin.  He looked at Buffy, who was staring hard in the other direction.  "Giles," he said with a nod.  "Faith.  No Ethan?"

"He's got the kids back at the shop," she said, getting up to give him a hug.  "Will you need me to hurt him for you?"

"If you do, Dawn'll have to take care of him on the way back," he told her, winking at her.  She grinned, wrinkling her nose.  They were on the same page there.  He let her go and walked over, looking at Dawn before pulling her up to hug her.  "Whatever I can do," he promised.  "I'll even keep the visits rare."

"Good," Zenigata growled.  "I don't need you prowling down the street I live on as well."

"You do?" Dawn asked.  He nodded.  "Wow.  I thought you lived out of a hotel room."

"It only seems that way," he said dryly.  He watched the boy walk around and sit farther away from him this time.  "What?  Worried I'll bite?"

"No.  Worried you'll pinch."  The inspector went pale and looked away quickly.  "Oh, heard from Lupin, he said he wants you to help Dawn settle in instead of trying to find him for the next month.  He's not doing anything.  We're still on vacation."  The inspector looked at him and growled.  "Now, now, you promised," he said dryly.  "Not until after I've ruined Buffy's day."  He noticed her hurt look.  "What?  You wanted me to lie, Buffy?  For a crook, I don't do much of that.  Maybe it's because I'm crappy at the stealing part of it, but still."

"You still haven't learned how to steal better?" Dawn asked.  He shook his head.  "Well, you're still talented, that's all that matters," she soothed.  "How is Jigen?"

"Good.  I got him the most killer birthday present.  I found where some pirates were hiding stuff and led him to it for his birthday present."  She laughed, shaking her head.  "Hey, I've got to give *good* presents.  Oh, Fuji's having a boy."

"Cool!"  She grinned.  "I didn't peek at the paper before I handed it to Goemon.  I bet he's so stoked."  Xander nodded.  The judge walked in so she stopped.

"All rise."  They all stood.  The judge sat and they sat.  "Case number 1030934, continuing."

The judge coughed.  "I believe we're here to hear special testimony. Any requests before we do so?"  The lawyers didn't say anything.  "Then, Mr. Lavelle, please stand and come forward."  Xander stood up and came forward.  "As the records are going to be sealed and probably destroyed, please give your real name to the bailiff."

The bailiff walked over with a bible.  "Please raise your right hand and state that you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"Do you have a Buddhist book of faith?  I don't particularly believe or swear by that version of faith."  One was gotten for him and he did as he was told.  "I solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."  He sat down in the witness box, hearing Zenigata grumbling.  "Gramps, calm down or the judge will put a leash and muzzle on you."

"Leave him alone," Dawn snapped.  "He's a nice man with a duty of his own."  She felt the inspector staring at her in shock.  "Hey, I know how trying he can be," she pointed out.  "He was my first crush and he annoyed me back then."  She turned around.

Her lawyer stood up, clearing his throat.  "Please state your name for the record."

"Alexander Lavelle Harris."

"And where do you current reside?"

"None of your business," he said dryly, grinning at him.  "I'm between houses at the moment.  I live wherever my boss wants me to live."

"I see."  The lawyer frowned.  "I suppose that will do.  You live in Europe?"

"Most of the time, yes. There are better hauls over there."

"Thank you," the lawyer said, nodding.  He looked down at Dawn, then back at him.  "I know that your past, along with both defendants, is a tangled one dealing with the occult.  How did you first meet Miss Buffy Summers?"

"I ran into her on my skateboard on the way to school her first day in our high school."

"That would be in Sunnydale?"

"Yep."

"Just for the record, what happened in that town?"

"That is not something I can really answer.  I'm not a physicist.  I can explain the events leading up to the event, but not why it happened."

"I see.  Before the event?"

"We opened the portal to hell and walked inside to fight the things who were trying to take over the world."  One of the lawyers and the inspector stared at him.  "What?" he asked.  "If you don't believe me, ask Buffy."  He shrugged.  "It wasn't my plan, it was hers."

"As a result, were you not injured?"

"As I have many times in the past, yes.  No, I am not discussing the nature of my injury with the inspector in the room.  I'm not giving him any extra information on me."

"That's fine," the lawyer agreed.  "Perfectly understandable to be a bit paranoid in your life."  He smiled nervously.  "You were friends with both Miss Summers?"  He nodded.  "You'll have to speak it, sir."

"Yup, sure was.  All through high school and until the town was destroyed.  It was a rocky friendship.  I was used for most of it and ignored a lot of the time.  Even when I had skills they needed it felt like being used."

"You volunteered!" Buffy said angrily.  "You stuck around even when we tried to get you to go away for your own good."

"Yes, and one of those times I saved your fucking life, Buffy.  I'm the one who stopped Jack from igniting the bomb in the boiler room while you were in the library."  She went pale and sat down.  "I'm also the one who supported you the whole way through your career.  Through all the Spike stuff, through all the Angelus stuff, through all the Initiative stuff.  All of it.  I was there.  You treated me like a pair of shoes you didn't really like but it went with a specific outfit you looked good in so you had to wear them occasionally."  She went even more pale. "And that kissing thing with Willow, that was as much her fault as mine.  It wasn't like I was tongue raping her or something."  She shook her head and he nodded.  "Yeah, Buffy, it was.  You treated me like shit most of the time we were together.  I was damn useful, then slowly got less and less useful as Willow got stronger because," he gasped for show, "I'm a normal person."  He gave her the most bitter smile.  "The normal people are the ones who keep things moving in the world, Buffy.  Learn that soon, huh?"  He looked at the lawyer again.  "Sorry, this is therapy time for me."

"I understand," he said quickly.  "I'm assuming your present boss does some of that for you."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, he does, but he's also tired of it so I've got to learn to let it go.  I'll be doing that after today when I force myself to forget she ever existed."  Buffy started to cry.  "Quit, Buffy, you look horrible when you cry."  He didn't even look at her. "What do you want to know?  I've got tickets tonight."

"Let's start with the more mundane.  You're how old?"

"Nearly thirty."

"And you've known her since what year?"

"Tenth grade.  Sixteen."

"Almost half of your life.  How long have you been on the outs with her?"

"Four years, five if you count my time in captivity."  The lawyer sighed.  "Sorry.  I wasn't exactly on this plane, though they made sure there was an open portal so they could watch."

"This is where you were tortured?" the judge asked.  Xander nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault.  Those whose fault it was have paid."  He shrugged.  "I'm happier now.  I'm the happiest I've been since I found out that creatures do walk in the night, Your Honor.  To be truthful, I learned a lot from Buffy and helping her, but none of it was emotional security or happiness.  I've since found that with my current boss and instructors.  They like me for me.  Shitty moods and all."  She nodded, relaxing again. "What else?" he asked the lawyer.

"Stop.  Dawn can have them," Buffy said quietly.  She stood up.  "Don't do this, Xander."

He looked at her.  "Too late."  He stood up.  "If I'm no longer needed?"  The judge shook her head.  "Keep it, babe.  Consider it a souvenir."  He smirked as he walked out, tossing Zenigata the car's keys.  "Here you are, Gramps.  Have fun with it.  I got it gassed up for you earlier."  He strolled out, disappearing down the back stairs before the older man could come out.  He had already checked them out of the hotel and moved his things to the train station.  All Zenigata's things were in the trunk of the car.  He slipped around to the front, catching a cab easily.  "Train station," he ordered, handing over a twenty.  "I've got a train in an hour.  Keep it if you can get me there through the traffic."

The driver smirked.  "Sure thing, man."  He took off, taking the alleyways.  It was only a three dollar fare at best, that was a nice tip.  Xander handed him another one as he got out, winking at him.  "Thanks.  Have a nice trip, buddy."

"You too," Xander called.  "Happy tips tonight."  He walked in, retrieving his bag and ticket.  He went to the gate to wait on his train to be called.  It was a little late but not too bad.  As soon as he could, he got on and turned off the bug, sitting down in the sleeper and getting comfortable.  He opened his phone.  "So, why am I heading back to LA?  And do I need to stop in and beat Deadboy?"  He laughed, listening as the judge's panting was replayed for him. "I'm dressed like Jigen, only in dark blue with gray pinstripes.  Why was she panting?"  He heard the tired sigh.  "Sorry, boss.  Never mind.  She thought I was cute.  Where am I getting off?  Vegas?  Really?  Cool, I've always wanted to go back there.  Yeah, Jigen and I left some stuff in a bank back there.  I really should get it.  How long do I have in town?"  He laughed.  "Sure, I'll do the tables for you.  Happy nap.  Hey, I'm more than looking forward to it," he purred.  "A week and then LA is great by me.  You did remember to pick up my tux or do I need to buy a new one?"  He smirked.  "Sure, Lupin, I'll buy a new outfit then.  Anything else?"  He laughed.  "Yes, I'll remember to wear underwear.  I promise I will not tease you while you're working."  He hung up, smooshing himself down some more when he saw the Inspector scanning the train platform.  He reached up and pulled down the shade, leaving just enough so he could look out at him. He found the bug Zenigata had put in his stuff and went to toss it out the train at him as it pulled out.  "Nice try!" he called, going back to his compartment.  The steward looked at him.  "I tossed my ring back at him," he said in his most gay voice.  "The man was sleeping with someone younger and just *now* showed up to apologize?  We're supposed to be going on our honeymoon."  He went back to his seat, smirking at his plan.  Cleveland was a little too conservative for them to accept an open wedding like that.

***

Xander looked out across the cruise boarding area, smirking as Jigen walked up to him.  She lifted her chin, accepting the gentle kiss.  "Morning. Did you have to drink to get to sleep last night?"

"I've missed having someone drool on my chest all night," he complained, sitting next to her.  "They're coming, quit waiting."

"I thought we were getting two staterooms."

"We are.  He'll be here soon enough."  He pinched her.  "Wench."  She gave him her most sultry grin.  "None of that in public," he scolded, smirking at her. "Some of us don't play like that."

"Others of us *love* to," Lupin said as he took Xander's other side, pulling her closer.  "So, dear, how was Las Vegas?"

"Very informative.  I didn't blow it *all* at the tables."  She smiled at him.  "I've even got you a very nice present and something for Fuji and the baby."

Lupin laughed. "I'm sure she'll appreciate it.  Goemon has been hunting and gathering for her already this morning."  He kicked the soft sided bag.  "Is that all you brought?"  She pointed behind her at the suitcase sitting on the chair.  "Ah. Good girl."  He gave her shoulders a squeeze.  "What did you do to Pops?"

"I tossed his bug back at him and told the steward it was a wedding ring because he had cheated on me and only then shown up to apologize."  She smirked.  "I guess he must have called a few of his buddies.  Is he all right?"

"Just fine.  Dawn is taking *very* good care of him."

"Yeah.  Morgan likes him too.  Calls him neat."  Jigen smirked at her.  "No noise tonight.  Even if I have to gag you with my tie."

"Really?" she teased, reaching over to stroke up his arm.  He shivered, giving her a look from underneath his hat.  "Promise?"

He groaned.  "Damn it, we've got to keep you with us.  You go odd when you haven't been laid in a while."

"I enjoy it," Lupin smirked.  Their boarding was called and he got up, grabbing his two bags.  Xander got hers, Jigen had his single one.  They climbed up the gangplank, checking into their stateroom.  The person checking them in gave them a funny look.  "She couldn't decide," he said dryly.

"Oh.  Okay then."  She nodded, handing them their keys.  "Have a nice cruise, sirs, ma'am."  They walked on.

Xander looked all the interesting people, finding a very pregnant blonde and an uncomfortable man in a suit ahead of them.  He nudged Jigen, who looked and shook his head.  "Are they late?"

"Possibly," Lupin agreed, scanning the area himself.  "It's too early for her to be in labor."  He heard a familiar giggle behind him and glanced back.  "There they are."  He led Xander up to their room, tossing their things aside.  Jigen went into the bathroom, leaving them all alone.  "Hmm.  I like that dress on you," he said, walking around her to look at the demure little outfit.  The school girl motif was very cute on her.  "All you need are flat shoes and pigtails."

"I looked really silly when I tried to put my hair up that way," Xander admitted.  "Do you like?"  She spun for him.  He grabbed her, kissing her senseless.  "Lupin," she moaned.  "Missed you too."

"Good.  Strip for me, princess."  Xander stepped back, taking off the sweater vest and tossing it aside.  He took off his jacket.  She smirked as she removed her button-up shirt, showing off the see-through bra.  He panted and undid his tie.  She unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it, ending up in the thigh high stockings, bra, matching panties, and two inch stiletto heels.   He undid his shirt and pants, sliding out of them as fast as he could.  "Do you still like?  I found it at a stripper shop."  She moved forward, stroking her fingers up his chest.  "They said it was a very popular look."  Lupin nodded, picking her up and tossing her onto the bed, following to play with her breasts.  She laughed, holding his head down.  "Should we take a picture?"

"We should," he agreed.  He let her go, grabbing his camera as she stood up, standing more demurely.  He smiled and snapped the picture, shoving the polaroid under the bathroom door.  Then he pounced her again, undoing the bra.  "That is in my way."  She moaned, arching up into his mouth.  "So responsive," he said against her skin.  "I like that in a lover."  Someone knocked on the door.  "Jigen, get that," he demanded. He switched to the other side, licking and sucking the taut nipple.

Jigen came out of the bathroom, glaring at him.  "You just had to put something like that on?"

"Wait until you see my outfit for dinner," she panted, wiggling as his fingers managed to find their way under the tight panties.  "Damn it, remove those," she complained.

Jigen opened the door, shaking his head at Fujiko.  "They're busy."  He handed her the photo, then closed the door.   He laid down on his bed, watching them go at it.  Lupin deserved some of her time, for now.  Next it would be his turn.  She would have to be female for this whole caper.  He smirked when he saw her wiggling.  "That's what you get for putting on lingerie like that, it's never comfortable," he reminded her.

"It's damn tight too," Lupin complained.  He sat back, pulling it out of his way.  She wiggled, sticking her legs in the air so he could remove them, which gave him a wonderful view.  "She shaved again."

"No, the nice woman shaved me," Xander said smugly.  "She shaved and waxed me."  Both men groaned so she spread her legs wider.  "Won't you please test it for stray hairs?"  Lupin did so, making her groan.  "Like that," she pleaded.  "More like that."

"You're right, she is the most demanding submissive I've ever met," Lupin told Jigen, going back to his teasing.  She'd be getting hers soon enough, he was having fun.  She was humping the bed, trying to get his fingers where she wanted them.  "Behave," he told her breast, "or no actual sex."

"I'll do it myself," she said, finding just the right spot by arching and moving to the left.  He chuckled, teasing it for her.  "Thank you!" Lupin chuckled, giving her a few moments before moving his fingers to stroke her outer lips.  She growled and flipped them over, looking down at him.  "Quit teasing me!  I haven't had any since Jigen's birthday!"

"Neither have we," Jigen reminded her.

"I couldn't even get myself off.  The rooms were really thin in that casino and Gramps was in the room next to mine in Cleveland.  I came down horny that morning."

"Poor baby," Lupin soothed, stroking her gently while she kissed him.  "Feel better?"  She shook her head, wiggling back and sinking down on him.  "Brazen wench at that," he teased, still playing with her clit.  "Let me know when you're ready to surrender again."

"Please?" she begged, trying so hard.  "I'll be good.  I'll follow orders.  I won't jump Jigen in public to give him a blowjob."  Jigen snickered.  "I won't if he'll just let me have what I need," she promised. "I'll be so good you'll think I'm a nun!  Please!"

Lupin gently pulled her off and kissed her, putting her back onto her back.  "Poor thing.  Did he hit on you again?"  Jigen growled.  "Down, boy.  I'm sure Dawn's shown him all sorts of neat things that'll make him want to stay in Paris more often."  He stroked her stomach, making her hum and writhe.  "I'll give it to you, all in good time.  Let me play for now and you'll get it later, when we're leaving port."

"Please!  I'll be a puddle of goo by then."  She pouted.  "I'll tease the dignitary tonight," she offered.  "I'll flirt with him like I would with you.  I'll wear real clothes to dinner and everything.  I'll even wear underwear."

"She's really desperate," Jigen pointed out.  That underwear thing had sent that message clearly.

Lupin smirked.  "I like them desperate.  They'll do interesting things when they're desperate."

"I'd do 'em anyway," Xander complained.  "See."  She put her arms above her head, not caring when Jigen handcuffed her to the headboard.  "Please?"  She stroked her foot up his leg.  "I'm being as good as I know how."

Lupin kissed her, fondling her breast gently.  "I know you are.  I want you foaming at the mouth for me," he said.  She growled and he laughed.  "Close but not quite rabid."  He went back to his teasing now that she could only verbally beg.  He even went down on her, making her thrash and moan.  Not enough to get off, but enough to make her more desperate.  "Maybe I should leave her like this until after the dinner? It could make her teasing better."

"If you do, I'm jumping the dignitary at the table," Xander warned.  "I don't care if I kill him and he's got the world's tiniest dick, I will."  Lupin sighed and leaned up, kissing her as he slid into her.  "You want to make me beg?" she asked pitifully.  "I will."

"You already are," he pointed out gently, smiling at her.

"I'll be harder to catch tomorrow," Xander reminded him. Lupin groaned, sliding further into her waiting body.  "I'm going to tan on the deck all day, then go dancing tomorrow night.  I'll move around with the sun so no one can catch me."  He smirked.  "I mean it.  Last chance for this whole trip.  Fujiko said I had to play hard to get so you stayed focused."

Lupin laughed.  "I'm sure she did."  She screamed in the next room over.  "It sounds like Goemon's abusing that myth for her."  He thrust in gently, making her pout.  "Not liking it?"

"No.  You made me wait too long. It started to go down again."

"Oh, yeah, she does have a finite attention span," Jigen told him.  "You've probably lost the first edge of her lust."  He flipped onto his back, smirking at the ceiling.  Let those two work it out.  She'd be his tonight.

"Not unless I get off soon," Xander said sweetly, looking at him.  He looked back at her.  "I mean it.  I will go sleep next door and sing to the baby all night."

Lupin pulled out his best skills, teasing her back into that begging, mindless state he wanted her in.  "Not going to happen," he told her.  "Goemon would try to keep you since Fujiko can't have sex starting next week."  Xander babbled at him, making him happier again.  She wasn't getting off though.  He looked over at Jigen, who shook his head.  "What?"

"Give her the first mini one and she'll beg you until she passes out.  Tease her clit while inside her.  She is like that you know."

"Like I've had her like this."

Jigen looked at him.  "Your loss."  He smirked and went back to his ceiling staring.  "Need help yet?"

"No!"  He did as ordered and she lurched under him like an old engine getting a kick of nitrate.  "Ah, that's what you needed.  I forgot how sensitive you were to that."  She babbled and thrashed, having her first mini-explosion, and was all his.  He was going to enjoy this.  Now that he had her primed, he could concentrate on his own pleasure.  He still didn't have as much stamina as her.  He was too tired by the end to do more than flop off to the side, face-down, while she pleaded.  "I'm out of practice," he complained.

"Sure are."  Jigen stood up and looked down at her.  She was doing her 'one more, need one more' begging now.  He gave her a helping finger, making her arch up and scream as she came again.   Since Lupin had been wearing a condom he didn't run into any stray sperm and was more than capable of helping her out the other way.  He stripped and got on top, holding her arms down.  She moaned, arching up into him as he entered her, making him grin down at her. "Needed this, wench?"

"Now, please, now," she begged.

"Shh, I'm not near close enough for that."  She purred and wiggled, making him move.  He sat back, releasing her arms so he could move her legs, putting them over his shoulders.  She babbled at him, nodding to show that she liked that.

"Damn it, I'm supposed to be the lover in the group," Lupin complained into the bedspread.

"You are, boss, but you let her get cold.  Like a good performance engine, you've got to rev early and often."  He proved his point by hitting that nice spot inside her, making her scream and thrash some more.  She was begging for it now.  "Gag her." Lupin put a hand up, letting her suck on his fingers.  "Thank you."  He got back to work, making her tense and shift, she was still rubbing against him.  He felt her tensing around him again and knew she was going to finish this time.  He sped up, hoping to be near enough this time, he didn't like it when she was passed out beneath him.  She squeezed and it was all he needed, coming hard.  He went limp across her, giving himself time to catch his breath.  "Each time I do this, I seem to lose a few more brain cells."

Lupin got her free and got up to give Jigen his spot, taking the other bed to collapse on.  "I feel younger," he admitted.  "Maybe she sucked out some of the intelligence."

"I'm not like that," she complained sleepily.  "Be more mean to me and I won't give out presents.  Nope, no youth serum for you guys."  She closed her eyes, falling asleep pinned to the bed.  She liked it like that too.  "Get you later, Lupin."

"That's fine, Xan.  You can have me whenever you want me.  Next time, tell me what I'm doing wrong."

"Get into her early," Fujiko said from the doorway.  "Then play with her tits."  She walked in and closed the door.  "I sent away the security guard, he was blushing."  Xander flipped her off.  "Cute, kid."

"No presents if you don't let me nap," Xander complained, yawning into the dark hair.  He knocked the hat out of his way.  "Did you use superglue on it this time?" he complained.  "Usually you take it off before you climb into bed."  Jigen gave her a tired chuckle.

Fujiko set the precious hat aside, shaking her head.  "You boys can't even get her off within an hour.  What is the world coming to?  I should teach her how to be a lesbian."

"Fuji, I love you, but your husband would make bait of me," Xander said tiredly.  He opened one eye to look at her.  "Really, he would and he would have fun doing it probably.  Don't tempt him."  She closed that eye and let herself drift off into the land of exhausted sleep.  She would have to jump Lupin later to get him to do it right this time.  Jigen chuckled so apparently she had said it out loud too.  "Tough."

Lupin looked over at them.  "Did she say what I think she said?"  Jigen nodded, turning his head to smirk at him.  "Wait until she wakes up.  I'll show her."

"Only if you can get it up again," Fujiko teased.  She winked at him. "Maybe she brought you some viagra?"  He tossed a pillow at her head, making her laugh.  "Fine, I'll go be good up on the deck.  Goemon wants to sit in the sun and read."  She walked out, locking the door from the outside.   She gathered her husband.  "They left Xander too long," she told him.

"I figured as much.  Usually Lupin is much smarter than that."  He took her arm, leading her away.  "I would not use him as bait.  He would taint the fish."  She looked at him.  "I am serious."

"Fine.  I won't give her that lesson," she agreed, giving him a smile. "Most men would like to watch that.  People even pay for it some places."

"I am not one of them.  I am very possessive. You are mine," he reminded her.  "I will expect you to limit your sexual explorations to my body."

"Does that mean I can be on top?" she asked.

"No."  He sat her down in a deck chair and sat beside her.  "Rest, Fujiko.  Before I encourage my son to kick you again."

She grunted.  "Too late."  She winced.  "Ow!"  He reached over, stroking her stomach.  It calmed the baby down nearly immediately.  "How do you and Marcus do that?"

"Emotional control.  The baby will react to strong emotions."  He kissed her on the cheek. "You are very passionate and it shows."  He opened Xander's book, starting on the first page.  It had looked like an interesting summary and Marcus had enjoyed it.

***

Lupin looked at the outfit Xander was wearing to dinner, nodding in appreciation.  "I like it."  He led her out of the room.  Jigen could join them later.   The soft satin whispered in the muted hall lights, and she did look stunning next to him in his tuxedo.  "You said you brought us presents?"

"I did," Xander agreed smugly.  "And as soon as I'm satisfied, you can have them."  She gave him a kiss on the cheek, wiping off her lipstick.  "Can we go dancing after this?"

"Sure," he agreed dryly, giving her a look.  "You looked sated."

"I've been more so.  He was right, the secret is to let me have my first one and then play."  She smirked at him.  "Otherwise it takes forever and I have to help myself."  He groaned, giving her arm a squeeze.  She glanced around.  "We're alone."  She leaned against the wall.  "Did you need something."

"You're taking too many lessons from Fujiko," he complained.

Xander kissed him, making him moan and pin her to the wall.  "This is all me, boss.  I've never taken any lessons about sex from her."  He looked startled.  "Besides to ask her if it hurt and does instinct really work that way.  She said yes to both and went back to her nap."  He shrugged, grinning slightly.  She kissed him again, letting him get warm.  "This temptress is the same me who blushes," she whispered against his lips.  His fingers brushed her thigh and she blushed.  "Here?"

"Why not? You seem to like being in public."

"Semi-public," she defended.  "Elevators are the most public I like."  She stole his lips again, making him moan.  "If you want, we can break into someone's room if we can't make it back to ours."

Jigen cleared his throat.  "Later, children," he said patiently, stealing her for himself.  He even stole a kiss.  "Did you want to go dancing after dinner?"  She nodded. "Good.  I like that idea."  He led her on, letting Lupin pull himself back together again.  "He does well with the slightly frustrated state, not the fully frustrated state," he reminded her as they got onto the elevator.   Lupin managed to join them.  Then he managed to stick them between the floors.  "Guys," he complained, shaking his head.

Lupin pushed Xander against the wall, kissing her long and hard.  She went limp under him.  He teased her gently, making her mewl at him.  He let her have one, then let her go.  "No more teasing, Xander.  Or you can sleep by yourself tonight."  She nodded, straightening out her hair.  "Good girl.  If you're very good, I'll hold you down and tease you later."  She groaned and he smirked.  "Better?"  She nodded.  "Good.  Your lipstick needs fixed."  He unfroze the elevator while she pulled out her lipstick and a compact to check her makeup.  "I feel better now."

"I have to tease the rich guys while I have wet panties," Xander told him.  Jigen coughed.  "I promise, I'll keep them from pinching me."  He kissed her as the doors opened, then walked away.  "Grumpy."  She fixed her lipstick again as they walked, blotting it on the handkerchief she had stolen off Lupin while he had been working on her.  She put everything back in her bag as they walked to the entrance of the room.  The Maitre'd looked at her so she checked her hair again, smoothing down some of the more energetic strands.  "Sorry."  He smiled at her.  "What?  I needed a new vacation."  She took Lupin's arm, letting him walk them in to their table.  They were two corporate executives and she was their shared personal assistant.  She smiled at the woman sitting next to her, shaking her hand.  "Alexandra."

"Tiffany," she said, giggling slightly.  "Trophy wife?"

She sighed.  "Not yet.  Personal assistant for now.  They couldn't do a *thing* without me."  Tiffany laughed.  "Which one is yours?" she asked, looking at the other men.  Tiffany pointed him out.  "Interesting.  Doesn't he run a big company?  I think I've seen his picture in Forbes."

"Possibly.  He runs a very good computer software firm."   Tiffany gave her husband a smile.  "It's our honeymoon."

"Congratulations," Xander said, giving her a nudge.  "Who is that dish over there?" she asked, nodding at Goemon.  Tiffany gave her a look so she was a good source of information that wouldn't leak back their prescence.  "What?  He looks very sure of himself.  I like confident men."

Tiffany giggled.  "I heard earlier he was some Japanese stock investor who is very heavily into the old ways.  The brunette is his pregnant wife.  Poor thing.  I hope my Jeffery doesn't expect me to do that."

Xander patted her on the hand.  "You'll glow like she does," she promised, not meaning a word of it.  She'd sweat like an ox and be about as big.  "Besides, I hear having one means that it's harder for him to divorce you and leave you out of the will."

Tiffany sighed. "That's true, but I did marry for love."  She looked at her dinner companion.  "Been married?"

"Not yet.  Hope springs eternal.  I'd like to marry for love but I've got this stupid practical streak.  I'd like to be able to do really nice charity work for a living but it doesn't pay well.  I *love* working with helpless little kids.  I just can't pay the rent on it."

Tiffany nodded.  "I know the feeling.  I have a really old Grandma and I've taken care of her a lot over the years.  But it doesn't pay the bills."  Xander sighed and nodded.  "What about your two?  They're cute, if a little thin."

"They work so *hard*," Xander pouted.  "They ignore themselves horribly.  I've got to nag them to eat and all that good stuff.  I try, but they like the work more.  They're thinking about expanding the empire to Vegas."

"Wow.  I hear there's tons of money there if you get a good idea going."  Her husband came over.  "Jeffery, this is Alexandra.  She's their second-in-command."

Xander shook his hand delicately, blushing the whole time.  "It's nice to meet someone I've read about in the papers," she told him.

"Well, you're a charming bit," he said fondly.  "Maybe you and my Tiffany can scoot around the ship together."  He smiled and nodded at Lupin and Jigen.  "One of yours?"

"Our right hand," Lupin told him.

"The business would stop without her," Jigen added.

Xander blushed, swatting him. "Stop it, you're embarrassing me."  She looked away, noticing the newlywed Jeffery was very interested.  The wine steward brought them their first course of drinks, and she sipped delicately at it, frowning.  "This isn't chilled properly," she said, kicking Jigen under the table.  "I think someone was nervous and their nerves got out of hand," she told him, smiling at him.

He tasted his and delicately spit it back out, nodding.  "It isn't chilled right," he agreed. Lupin didn't even touch his.  Soon the food was brought and he tasted a bit of the sauce first, it was easiest to camouflage sedatives in there.  "Hmm.  Not quite right either.  Maybe someone should talk to the chef.  It tastes like it was frozen."

Tiffany looked down at him.  "You cook?"

"I've been spoiled, my partner cooks very well," he said, giving her a little smile.  He had to forgo his hat tonight because of polite etiquette and was missing it more than ever now.  "He invites me over all the time."

"It must be nice to have partners you can trust," Jeffery told him.  He ate some of his food, not seeming to notice anything was off.  Everyone else was too.

"We've had our arguments but we try to keep it like a big family," Jigen told him.  Xander nodded, sipping her water.  "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really.  That energy bar I had earlier really filled me up.  I've got to remember to eat more than a bagel for meals once we get home again."

"Where is home?" Tiffany asked.

"For the time being, we're working out of an office in Paris.  We've got multiple offices around the globe.  We deal in information."

"That must be interesting," she agreed.  She yawned.  "Oh, I don't know what's wrong with me.  Must be all the honeymooning."  She smiled at Jeffery, who was giving her a tolerant look.  "Maybe I'll miss the main course and go to bed."

Xander gave her another hand pat.  "You do that if necessary, sweetheart.  Trust me, this will be one trip you'll want to be awake for.  Honeymoons are supposed to be very memorable."  Tiffany giggled and blushed. "That way too," she agreed with a blush of her own.  Jeffery was giving her another interested look so she looked back at him, making him swallow and drink some of his laced wine.  She noticed everyone around them was starting to slow down and gave it ten minutes.  Under the table, she undid the hitch to her purse.  Her gun was in there with her lipstick and compact, along with a few extra clips.  Someone had finally made a compact gun that she liked.   As soon as people started to doze off, they pretended to too, watching the entrances.

Sure enough, the 'waiters' came back in with bags.  Jigen coughed loudly, waving.  "Morning."  One of them looked scared and pulled a gun of his own.  Jigen shot him in the hand.

Xander stood up, taking out the rest of them with shoulder shots.  Then she sat back down and smoothed her skirt while she tidied up the dinnerware she had moved out of her way when she stood.  Two more waiters came in, she took one and Lupin took one.

Lupin got up and went to get someone who hadn't been in there.  He found a security guard and appeared to be shaking.  "Everyone's passed out," he said, clutching him in a fine bit of acting.  "The waiters, they came in and removed people's jewelry.  My bodyguard took them out."  The guard called for the ship's doctor and went running for the room.  More guards came running and Lupin went back to his seat, messing up his plate to make it looked like he had eaten something.  The others had already done that.  Xander had gotten someone else's water.  "Did they drink out of that?"

"I got it out of the pitcher on the Captain's table," she promised.  "There are no extra germs in my mouth that don't belong to you two."  Beside her, Tiffany laughed lightly.  "It's wearing off," she called tiredly.  "She's coming around."  Tiffany was checked by the doctor.  "She's his new wife," she said, pointing at Jeffery.

"Ma'am," one of the guards asked.  "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I always eat after my bosses," she said firmly.  "I'm their assistant and bodyguard.  I noticed something was in the wine and one of my bosses tasted something off in the sauce.  Will you need my gun?  I like this one."

"To check it, yes, ma'am," he said.  He walked closer, taking it from her once she had unloaded it.  "Thank you, ma'am.  Which room are you in?"

"We're in sixty-something," Xander said, looking at her key.  She let him see it.  "I didn't really get a good look at the door."  She noticed Fujiko was asleep and nudged the doctor.  "That one over there was very pregnant," she told him.  "I saw her waddling around earlier."  The doctor left Tiffany, going to check her.  "Do you think we'll have much trouble from this?"

"No, I think the company will probably give you a reward, ma'am.  You stopped some very dangerous criminals."  He walked away to report to his boss, pointing back at her.

The boss came over, smiling at her.  "You're a bodyguard?"

Xander stood up, leaning over to shake his hand.  "Alexandra DeMain.  Personal assistant and trained bodyguard.  I noticed something off in the wine, besides that it wasn't chilled properly, and one of my bosses noticed something off in the sauce."  He smiled.  "We refrained from eating and were on guard for something of this nature.  We're in information."

He smiled.  Of course they were paranoid being in that business.  "Of course it's necessary then. We'll get your personal weapon back to you tonight after we register it for you.  You were supposed to register it when you came on the ship.  It's just a small paper and I'll do everything but sign it for you.  Thank you for your help, Miss DeMain."  He walked away, supervising the lifting of bodies.  The Coast Guard was already on the way to gather them.  They stormed in like it was still an assault, apparently they didn't like having their noses rubbed in the failure to stop a very dangerous criminal a few months back.  "We have a bodyguard on the ship, she took them out," he told the Captain.  "She neglected to mention it to us.  Did you need to do a ballistics test on her weapon, she'd like it back eventually."

"Is she registered?"

"No, she's their personal assistant and bodyguard.  They're in information according to her."  He pointed her out and the Captain smiled at her.  She smiled and waved back.  "Such a pretty thing to be so deadly but I guess it's necessary."

"Probably.  She's familiar somehow," he said, thinking about it.  He shook his head.  "Go ahead and give it back.  It's not like they're going to do more than plea this out.  Send me her information just in case."  He followed his crew back, taking them back to LA to get them into the jail facilities.

The guard went to pull her records so he could fill out her registration card, then brought it and the gun back to her.  "Here you go, if you'll please sign?" he asked nicely.  She signed it, making him smile.  "Thank you, ma'am.  Did you want to do anything else tonight?  I'm afraid most everything is shut down."

"We wouldn't mind dinner," she said quietly.  "Did you ever find the real chef?  The sauce tasted kind of frozen."

"We've had people looking down there.  Can you wait an hour or so?"  She nodded.  "Then go ahead and call room service, we'll send something down, Miss DeMain."  One of his guys whispered something in his ear.  "We won't even come running if you and your employers get a little loud again."  She blushed and giggled, glancing away.  She was so cute!  "Have a nice night."  He walked away before he could start crushing on her.

Jigen stood up, taking the gun and putting it back into her purse.  "Come along, Alexandra.  You deserve chocolates for that save and we've got some in our bags."  He walked her out, taking her back to their room.  "Goemon has already woken up and is down with her in the infirmary," he told her. She nodded and glanced back.  "Yes, he's fine too."  He gave her a little squeeze once the elevators closed on them, pulling her into his arms.  "Nice work, babe."

"Thanks."  She smiled at Lupin.  "You're really okay?"

"Fine, just shocked that someone else came up with that idea," he noted.  He shook his head, leading the way off.  "I thought that had went out with the thirties.  Besides, how were they going to get it off the ship?"

"Life boats.  We're only an hour or so from the Mexican coast," Xander reminded him.  She opened the door, leading the way inside.  She flopped down onto a bed, taking off her gloves.  "What about us?"

"Let me think," Lupin promised.  He gave her a kiss.  "You need to work on shooting from a sitting position but otherwise you did great."  He gave Jigen a pat on the back.  "Feeling slow?"

"Did you imbibe?" he demanded.  Lupin grimaced.  "Fine, you're worried about her.  She's fine."

"We don't know that yet."

"We do.  The doctor said so," Xander reminded him.  "He said she'd be fine as he took her away."  He reached over, snagging his soft bag from the floor.  "Let's hope none of this spilled," he said as he opened it.  One had, but it wasn't anything more than oil.  "Okay, my present spilled but otherwise I'm fine with everything here."  He looked up.  Both men were looking at him.  "I've decided I should learn how to use my gifts," he sighed.  "Ethan's teaching me via email."

"Good," Lupin agreed.  "What else is in there?"

"Well, my vial of scented oil spilled," he said, pulling it out and handing it off.  "Put that somewhere drip-proof."  He dug into the bag, pulling out stacks of cash and casino chips.  "That box has yours but you can't open it yet," he said before Jigen could grab it.  "That one's Fujiko's and Goemon's," he said as he put it aside.  He pulled out a smaller soft-sided bag and put it aside.  "That's my official baby-warming present."  He kicked it and it made musical noise.  "It's probably fine, I'll check it later."  He came to the bottom of the bag and grimaced. "Where did I put that?"  She thought for a second, then hit herself on the head.  "It'll be there to meet us at our first stop in Mexico."  She looked up, seeing the shocked looks. "What?"

"What are you still missing?"

"About six million, five hundred thousand?" Xander suggested. Lupin looked stunned and he nodded.  "Yup.  That's minus my cut already. I had it deposited into my Swiss account through Murami.  She laughed and said I was really fun."  She leaned back, giving him a smug look.  "The rest are cashier's checks made out to an alias, which also has papers coming."  She patted the boxes.  "Now, depending on how good you do tonight, I'll explain these and see if you want them or not.  Fortunately you guys have all shed hair onto me over the week before I left.  I had everyone's but Goemon's but that came from Dawn."  They still looked clueless.  "Ethan's presents to you actually.  And I'll explain them if I get to be loud and noisy tonight."

"Will we like them?"

"I'm not sure," Xander admitted.  "Ethan thought so, but he's got a very strict set of priorities about that sort of thing."  He shrugged.  "Why else would he be attached at the tit to Faith when he loves Giles?"

"What, in general, do they do?" Lupin asked.

"There's one for each of you.  If you take them, they'll extend your careers.  They're good for exactly one year from the end of manufacture and one day."  They both looked confused.  "Nothing bad, Ethan was making his own and made a *huge* ass batch.  Since he was going to sell it, I convinced him to let me buy it cheaper if he could look at my choker.  I figure it'll need fixed some day and I do trust him mostly."

"It's an immortality potion?" Lupin asked.  Xander shook her head.  "Is there such a thing?"  Xander nodded.  "How hard is it to make?"

"It takes nearly a hundred years to brew," he said dryly. "Ethan found it last year, he was very upset.  This potion will take ten years off your life," he said gently.  Jigen frowned.

"Off or from?" Lupin asked, smirking at him.

"Ethan swears from.  He said if it's gone bad, off."

"Holy shit," Jigen swore, looking at the boxes.  "Ten whole years?"

"It worked on his dog, he showed me on his dog, and Faith, who looked a lot younger."  She wiggled her fingers.  "I've color coded them and if you take the wrong one it could poison you."  Lupin grimaced.  "Like I said, if I get to get sweaty and screamy tonight, then it's yours. If not, then I'll just give one to Fujiko for after she gives birth.  She can't take it until then it or could deage the baby too and she'd be virtually pregnant for another ten years and seven months."  He stroked the top of the nearest box.  "You can only use it once.  Dawn has Gramp's vial in case you decide to take yours because she whined, pleaded, and begged Ethan until he handed one over.  It's only fair after all."  She smiled sweetly.  "Do we have a deal, boss?"

Lupin groaned.  "Why do you do this to me!  I would have slept with you anyway."  She stood up and carefully put the boxes on the dresser, behind the lamp.  Then she opened them to check on the vials.  "Are they fine?"

"Still sealed with the wax and seal."  He put them into the drawer and turned around.  "Because I'm a greedy bitch, Lupin.  We both know this.  I don't take extra on my cut but I will be greedy when I find someone I like, or two someones I like."  She stepped into his arms.  "I probably would have given them to you anyway," she pointed out gently, tapping his lips with her fingertip.  "We both know that."

"She's right, it would have popped up for someone's birthday," Jigen agreed. Lupin nodded, giving him a wry look.  "Wench, come here.  You deserve to be spanked for teasing that way."

"What teasing!  I'm a demanding wench, you've said so yourself," she pouted.  She turned.  "Please undo the zipper for me?"

"Sure."  He undid the zipper, watching as the dress fell to the floor, showing her in only a pair of stockings and a garter belt.  "Huh."  He looked at Lupin.  "See what you started?  She wanted to tease you."

"Xander, is there a 'but' clause to them?"

"Only the time limit and having to take your own part.  The no second dose is because it'll be neutralized for your body.  So unless you totally change your body it's not going to do anything for you.  Though he did say it might change retinal patterns and fingerprints.  Forgot about that."  She looked at them, smirking.  "There are four vials in those boxes."   Lupin's mouth opened.  "I'm only thirty.  You guys won't be much older.  Why do I want to deage?  It won't cure any of *my* morning aches."

"Is there a reverser?" Jigen asked.  She nodded.  "Taking the wrong one?"  She nodded again.  "That's the poison?"

"It'll double your age.  But fortunately there's an antidote.  You have to take a double dose of it.  I watched him as he brewed it, just to make sure he didn't double cross you or anyone else.  Though he did take the hair from the voodoo doll he had made of you," he said, kissing Jigen.  "Something about treating me right or else he was gonna play...."

Jigen snorted.  "I'm not surprised.  We'll call him tomorrow.  Make sure he didn't change it around."  He stroked her stomach.  "You ready for more?"

"Since the elevator on the way down," she said dryly.  Lupin moved up behind her, kissing the back of her neck.  "Surprise, I am a crafty and greedy bitch," she said lightly.

"And I appreciate you for being the crafty and greedy bitch you are," Lupin promised. "I'll think about it, Xander.  This is a precious gift."

"It was made three days ago.  You have a year and a day from three days ago to decide," she told him.  "Fujiko still can't take it until she's given birth, and probably shouldn't until she stops bleeding afterwards, but hers is there too."  Someone pounded on the door so he got free, going over to look out the hole.  "Morning, Goemon," he said, opening the door.  "How is she?"

"She...."  He walked in, his hair messed up like he had been running his hands through it.  "She was in early labor.  The doctor had to give her a shot to stop it."  Lupin frowned, sitting down on his bed to stare at him.  "He suggested she be looked at as soon as we get home and he will examine her each day."

"The sedative?" Jigen asked.  He shook his head.  "For how long?"

"She was having Braxton-Hicks before we got to Greece, but those can last for months," Xander told them.   Goemon looked at her and she went to put on a towel.  "Sorry.  I was giving them an ultimatum."

"What in exchange for killing you this time?" he asked.

"A potion to take ten years off you," Xander told him.  "One for each of you and Gramps."  Goemon blinked a few times, sitting on the edge of the dresser to look at him.  He nodded.  "Fujiko can't take one until she's had the baby or it'll be like she's stuck pregnant until she reaches this age again.  She probably shouldn't take one until she stops bleeding either.  Ethan made too large of a batch."

The samurai looked at him.  "You'd do this for us?"

Xander pinched him on the nose, earning a swat.  "Of course I would.  I like you guys."  He hugged him.  "Get off the dresser.  They're in there.  And they're poisonous if you don't take your own."

"It'll age us double until we can get the antidote," Jigen said, answering the ringing phone.  "Hello."  He looked at Goemon.  "You're sure?"  He nodded and hung up.  "They didn't stop the labor."

Xander bent over, digging into her suitcase for something to wear.  "Lupin, hide those.  Just in case the room is bugged.  They're not waterproof."  He pulled off his garter and stockings, then pulled on some sweats and a t-shirt, plus his sneakers.  "Come on, let's go down there to help her."  Lupin stayed long enough to hide them where they wouldn't get crushed or ruined, then followed.  Xander walked in, going straight to her side to help calm her down. "Sweetheart, couldn't you wait?" he pleaded.  She shook her head, biting her lip. "Now, now, none of that.  We don't want a scar, do we?  Scream all you want."

Jigen got in a small pat to her stomach.  "Will it be okay?" he asked the doctor.

"Babies have been born earlier and survived," he noted.  "She's actually a few weeks ahead of where she should be I believe."  Goemon raised an eyebrow.  "I did an ultrasound and the baby's heart and lungs seem to be developed to nearly the end of the eighth month.  That's nearly three weeks later than where they should be."

"I was that way too," Fujiko groaned, coming down out of that pain.  "I'm never doing this again," she told her husband.  He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.  "Thank you."  She looked over as Lupin came in.  "You're late."

"I was hiding Xander's newest present," he explained.  He came over to move Xander out of the way.  "Shh, it'll be okay.  We'll take turns holding your hand and letting you scream at us."  She laughed, clutching at him as another one started.  "Those are awfully fast, doctor."

"I thought I was having more false pains all day," she said dryly, then she winced.  "This shit is really hurting now!"

"You're dilating," Xander soothed, stroking her stomach.  She swatted at him.  "Fine, I won't find the pressure points."

"I know where they are," Goemon said, stepping up to ease his wife's pain.  "Has she had any drugs?"

The doctor shook his head.  "No.  I don't have anything here to give her.  We're not allowed to carry more than novocaine.  I'm sorry," he told Fujiko.

"That's okay, it's not your fault.  Someone higher up is at fault for that," she told him.  "You can deliver children, right?"  He nodded.  "You're sure?"

"All doctors are taught that.  I've delivered others in the past," he promised.  "I even delivered some in the Peace Corps."  She grimaced.  "Trust me, I've delivered them in some dirt huts and still made sure they were healthy little beings."  He walked down to her feet.  "I'm going to check your dilation.  It will ache," he warned, sliding a finger in to test her.  He stuck his tongue out.  "I think you're at six now.  It should be in a few hours.  Does your family have quick births?"  She nodded.  "That's in your favor.  Otherwise I'd be putting you in the hospital once we get to Mexico in the morning."

"Should the baby be put in?" Jigen asked.

"That depends on its state.  If its too bad, I'll radio the Coast Guard to pick her and the baby up and take them.  If it's as healthy as I think it should be fine with some monitoring. I would probably prefer if the little guy went but I can't demand it in those circumstances."  Everyone nodded.  "Who's the coach?"

"We all are," Lupin told him.  "We're all old friends."

The doctor looked at Xander, who shrugged.  "I wasn't going to give any remaining thieves a softer target to hit.  A pregnant woman is very vulnerable to bad men."

"Good point.  I probably would have pretended too."  He walked away.  "I'm sterilizing the birthing equipment now. It shouldn't be more than a few minutes."

"What equipment!" she yelled.  "I'm not a car engine!  You won't need tools!"

He chuckled.  "Forceps to clamp off the umbilicus.  Scissors to cut it.  The emergency equipment in case we have to do an emergency c-section.  Nothing too bad, my dear."  He smiled at the father.  "It will get worse, pull over the stools so you can all help."  He nodded, getting them.  "Talk to her, she'll need it, it will keep her calm.  Do you want to deliver on your back, Western fashion, or squatting like most of the known world?" he asked.  "I can do either."

"I don't know!" she told him.  "What's the difference?"

"Gravity," Jigen told her.  Xander nodded.  "Marcus said that women started ta deliver on their backs because doctors thought it was easier for *them*, not the mothers."

The doctor nodded.  "It is often quicker with a squatting birth.  Gravity can help when the baby gets stubborn.  It also eliminates some of the wiggling the baby can do right before the birth to get out of position.  I've seen them turn themselves around completely right before they came out."  He put the tray into the sterilizer and shut it, turning it on.  "There we go.  It'll be about five minutes.  It's an older model but hasn't failed me yet."  He came back to her side.  "You could also do some limited walking if you wanted, my dear.  It wouldn't hurt either of you in the least.  Just nearby of course," he said to ease the growing frown on the father's face.  "Again, gravity will help."

"We can if you want, Fuji," Lupin offered.  "We'll all walk you around."  She shook her head, nodding at the doorway.  She was biting her lip again, but had to let it out.  She let out an awesome scream, startling the guy with the gun.  The guy with the gun shot at the doctor.  "Fuck," Lupin announced, taking him out with a well-placed kick to the head.  "Xander, check him."

"I can already see, it was a heart-shot," Xander said, but went to do it anyway.  "No pulse.  Lots of blood."  He picked up the phone, dialing the shipboard operator.  "Hi, this is the infirmary.  Apparently they missed a thief from earlier.  He walked in and shot the doctor.  We'll need any other medially trained staff.  We've got a pregnant woman in labor down here, the thief is down, and the doctor's already dead."  He listened, then sighed and hung up.  "His assistant went with the earlier thieves."  He looked around.  "Okay, someone improvise a rope.  I read this book.  Marcus read this book, we can call him for advice."  Goemon looked at him.  "Do you want to catch?"  He mutely shook his head, looking horrified.  "What?  I've done field injuries before!  I dressed yours!"  He went to check on the sterilizer.  "Lupin, did you want it?"

"Hell no."  He looked down at her.  "I'd never be able to stand to see you in that sort of pain," he told her.  "I just can't."

She shrieked.  "I want a doctor!"

"Then we're going to have to medivac you to the mainland," Xander told her, turning to look at her.  "That means calling the Coast Guard, getting them out here, getting you loaded, then getting you back to the mainland, checked into the hospital, and hopefully having you wait that long.  Do you think you can?"  She shook her head.  "Fujiko, you know I'd never hurt you.  Lupin will kill my ass if I hurt you."  She laughed bitterly.  "Fortunately, I did read the books.  Otherwise we'd *really* be in trouble with Marcus back in France right now."  She nodded, wiping her cheeks off.  "Now, who do you want to catch?  I can do it, Jigen can do it, Lupin can do it, or Goemon can do it."

She started to cry.  "You do it.  You won't lie about how bad it's going to be.  They're nice."

"Shh, I'd never hurt you," he reminded her, stroking her leg.  "Remember, women did this for centuries *alone*."  She nodded, still crying.  "Let me look, okay?  I'm not being a perv or anything."  She nodded so he glanced down there.  "Okay, it looks like you're nearly ten carats open."  He looked up at Lupin.  "On a brilliant cut."

"About eight or nine centimeters," he said, thinking about it.  He shrugged.  "We can handle that.  Goemon, come take her other hand and talk to her.  This is your fault."

"That's right!  Damn it, next time I'm going to be in a fucking hospital!" she shouted.  The guards coming in stopped to look at her.  "What the fuck are you looking at!  I'm in fucking pain!"

"She's in labor," Xander explained.  He waved a hand at the doctor.  "Not a good situation.  Is the nurse back yet?"

"She's meeting us in Mexico," the head guard noted.  "Have you ever delivered one?"  Xander shook her head.  "Read up on it?"  He nodded.   He winced.  "I've seen one go," he offered her.  "We've got a few mothers on the staff."

She shook her head.  "No, him or a doctor.  I don't know you.  I don't want you looking at that part of my body.  My husband gets jealous."

"Not in this situation," he promised.  "I only want what is best for you, Fujiko."

The guard smiled.  "You two are so cute!"  He hauled the thief up.  "Come on, idiot."  He walked him away.  "I'll see if I can find someone with more than basic CPR training among the staff.  At least they'd be some help."  He walked the man off, letting his guards cover the doctor and follow him.  By law, they couldn't move him.

Xander grimaced.  "Eww."  He shook his head.  "Okay, so not the most pleasant birthing room," he told her, grinning at her.  "But hey, it beats a vault in the middle of a job."  She laughed, then moaned.  The timer dinged and he went to turn it off, letting it cool off in there so nothing could get contaminated.  He came back and peeked again.  "We've got about two more carats worth and the fleshy thing is going away.  I'm guessing it's getting closer to time."  He nervously went to wash his hands.  "You know, I really wish Gramps was here.  Hasn't he delivered one?"

"He has," Lupin agreed.  "We could call him."

"I wish Fihad was still alive," Jigen muttered, stroking her stomach.  She wiggled and kicked.  "Sorry."

"No, him, he's tickling me from the inside!" she said angrily.  "Put your damn hand back!"  She looked at Lupin.  "Call a doctor instead," she encouraged.  He gave her a pitiful look.  "You don't know *any* we can call?"  He shook his head.  "Fuck you then!"

Goemon gave her a gentle hug.  "Calm yourself," he ordered. "Getting more stressed out will hurt both of you."

"You only care about him!" she said, starting to cry again.

"If that were true, I would have saved you this agony by splitting you open before now," he told her, staring into her eyes.  She sniffled and nodded, letting him stroke her hair.  "We should find someone who one of us knows who has actually done this before.  Someone professional would be best."  He looked at Lupin.  "Out of all the women you know, you know not one doctor?"

"I don't ask their occupations!" he said.  Xander chuckled.  "Be that way, bitch."

"Keep it up, and I'm keeping my present for ten months," Xander told him.  Lupin looked hurt.  "Don't yell at me, I'll start to cry too."

"Fine, sorry."  He came over, giving him a hug.  "Sorry."

"That's okay, this is stressful.  We're all really stressed and we'll laugh about this later.  Or at least I hope we'll laugh about this later."  He looked around.  "Does anyone have anyone to call?"  They all shook their heads.  "Then someone call Gramps.  Have him walk me through this."  He found gloves, a mask, and a gown, laying them out.  "Okay, Fujiko, are you feeling like you've got to push?"  She nodded, biting her lip again.  "Keep that up, go through it," he pointed out.  "Bite on your husband, let him feel part of the pain.  Thankfully I'm never going through this."  She gave him a bitter look.  "Think about how bad mine would be?"  She shook her head, turning to bite on her husband's wrist.  "Good girl."  He put on the gloves and put the tray from the sterilizer on a rolling table, bringing it over.  "Give me a stool."  One was pushed over for him.  "Thanks."  He put on the gown and mask, looking up at her. "I know, freakish things from your worst nightmares, but this way the baby doesn't get any of my germs."  He carefully moved the sheet.  "We've got hair," he announced.  "Dark, slimy hair."

Lupin put the phone against his ear, shuddering and turning away so he didn't have to see.  "Guess who," he said.  The person on the other end groaned.  "What?  Lupin's being squeamish.  I've seen guts before."  The phone was moved for him and Jigen came down to hold it, letting Lupin have his place.  "Okay, we've got hair.  Because some petty thief killed the doctor, Gramps.  Now walk me through this.  I read the book.  I watched the film.   I even watched it a few times on the Health and Leisure channel.  Right now, I'm staring at hair."  The voice in his ear said something.  "Yeah, that's it exactly."  He nodded, pushing her thighs farther apart.  "Fujiko, honey, I need to be able to get in there to help the baby.  Your thighs of steel will crush me."  He looked up.  "He said to push the next time you feel like pushing."  She squinted pushing down.  "He said to try and hold it for a ten count, pushing with the contractions, and then take a few deep breaths and continue until the contraction ends."  He went back to watching.  "It's moving!" he said happily.

"Sure, be happy that I'm in agony!" Fujiko shouted.

"Pant," Jigen told her.  Everyone looked at him.  "That's what they always say on tv."  He was giving the sight a look of fascinated horror.  "It is moving," he agreed.  She screamed.  "More pushing or it'll get stuck."

The voice in Xander's ear said something and he stood up, pushing on her stomach.  "Someone push there," he said.  Lupin moved to do that.  "It's coming faster," he announced.  "Push, Fujiko."  She pushed, screaming some more.  "Come on, push *really* hard, like you're ....eww, I'm not saying that," he told the voice in his ear.  Who laughed.  He looked up.  "Gramps said it's like taking a shit after eating seventeen pounds of cheese.  He said that would have some meaning for you?"  She thumped her head on the table, groaning.  "He said I had to say it," he said with a shrug.  He went back to his 'helping'.  "Hey, the head's almost out."  The voice told him to do something kind of nasty, but he did reach up to free it from the mother's body.  "No, no tearing," he said, smiling in relief.  He didn't want to deal with that issue.  The episiotomy was the most gross part he had seen on the films.  "Head's free.  Give it a few more good ones, Fujiko."  She groaned, pushing again and again, then let out one relieved sounding scream as the baby came out into his hands.  "Shit, what do I do, it's out!"  The voice told him very calmly to sweep out its mouth and nose with the suction bulb.  He looked at the instruments.  "Suction bulb?"

"Here," Lupin said, taking it to do that part.  "Goemon, come cut the cord."

"Clamp it off and cut between them," Xander repeated, doing that.  "There, between them."  He looked at Jigen.  "He wants to know what his name is."

Jigen moved the phone to the mother's ear.  "Here, you talk to him for a bit."  He found a towel and some sponges, running some water in the sink.  "You're nasty," he said as he took the baby to clean it off.  It was really gross.  He heard a thump and looked behind him at the Xander on the floor.  He looked at Lupin, who was shaking his head.  "At least he waited.  I couldn't have done that."

"Me either.  That thing's really big to have come out of that hole."  Goemon nodded, watching as his beloved son was bathed.  "Let him do it, he'll need to learn sometime soon."  Fujiko laughed so he went up to check on her.  "Hey.  Did he say something funny like he was going to arrest you again?"

"He said he'd give us two weeks before he chased us again and that Xander's stunt in Las Vegas of dancing naked on the table was really cute.  It was now making the rounds of Law Enforcement offices everywhere while they tried to figure out who she was."  Jigen growled.  She handed off the phone.  "He hung up."  She rolled her head to the side.  "I'm done, right?"

"Afterbirth," Jigen told her.  "The placenta thing has got to come out.  Marcus said it's smaller."

"It had better be!" she told him.  "Let me see my kid!"

"Let me get him clean, woman.  Shit, give us a minute.  He's got nasty shit all over him."

"I suspect all babies are born that way," Goemon pointed out.  He kissed his wife gently.  "We are getting off in Mexico so you can be examined."  She nodded.  "You will not argue?"

"Hell no.  I want something for this pain," she told him.  He smiled and stroked her hair again. "Is he all right?"

"He is fine, just rather messy at the moment."  He took the towel-wrapped bundle from his friend, looking at him.  "Here is our son."

She was helped into a sitting position, looking down at Xander.  "You'd think he had done all the work."  She looked at her son, who yawned at her.  "Tired of me already?"  He made sucking faces.  "Oh, no, I'm not breast feeding."

"There's no formula that I've seen," Jigen told her.  "You might have to for tonight."  She gave him a disgusted look.  "One night won't hurt you."

"It'll stretch them out."

"They're already very comfortable to lay on, a little stretching won't matter," Lupin told her.  Goemon looked at him, then smiled.  "In the past tense," he admitted.  He and Jigen came over, lifting Xander up off the floor.  "Do you want to stay in here for the afterbirth part?"  She nodded.  "That's fine.  Let us put him into bed."  Jigen took her, carrying her out of the room.  "Xander came up with an interesting present thanks to Ethan."  Fujiko and Goemon both looked at him.  "He's got something that will roll our ages back ten years."  Her mouth fell open.  "He said you can't take it until you quit bleeding, but he saw it work on Faith and on Ethan's dog."

"Was he not blackmailing you for it?" Goemon asked.

"He just wanted to get laid more than anything," Lupin said with a grin.  "So we can or it's good up to a year from manufacture, which is about three days ago."

"Ten whole years?" she asked.  Lupin nodded.  "And he's seen it work?"  He nodded.  "What's the catch?"

"If we take the wrong ones, it ages us double until we can get the antidote," he admitted.  "It can only work once.  Pops has one of his own."

Fujiko looked at her husband.  "*That's* a present," she told him.  He rolled his eyes.  "Go steal it for me?"

"He will give it to you when you ask him for it," he promised her.  "Even if I have to sleep with him."  She chuckled and he shrugged.  "If demanded."

"Not a chance in hell," Lupin told him.   He touched the baby's covered foot.  "Hey, little guy.  I'm your Uncle Lupin.  Welcome to the world. We'll teach you all about how to steal stuff.  Your daddy will teach you how to cut up everything with the big sword.  Uncle Jigen and Xander will even help you learn how to shoot better than your mommy and daddy do."

"Not giving Xander a gender?"

"Well, he does seem to enjoy them both," he said with a grin.  "So do we."  He looked at the doorway.  "I know he's taking what's mine tonight."

"You can have him tomorrow," Goemon said patiently.  "Who will be delivering this afterbirth?"  Lupin shook his head and backed off, heading out the door.   "Finally," he said, smiling at her, taking the baby to hold.  "Good evening.  I am your father.  Do not listen to that uncle yet, son."  She laughed, giving him a gentle pat.  "Lay back down," he said firmly.  "You must be dizzy."  She nodded, doing as ordered.  She could feel the cramping that meant the other stuff was coming out.  "We will do what we must in this case."  He walked down to look up her, wincing when he saw how open she was.  "That will close again, correct?"

She nodded.  "By the time I quit bleeding in six weeks," she promised.  "All the books Marcus found said so.  Plus, I've been doing the neat exercises to make sure it'll go back to being just as tight and talented as before."  He blushed, walking back to kiss her.  "Thanks.  No more."

He nodded.  "If you wish no more, then I will not complain.  If you do wish more, I will not complain."  She swatted at him and he backed out of the way.  "Easy."

"Fine.  But if I *ever* have to go through this again, I'm castrating you."

He nodded.  "Fair enough.  I will get a vasectomy in such a case."

"I meant the full procedure."

"Then you would never get sex again," he pointed out.  She grimaced.  "We will figure it out."

"Owowowowow, it's coming."  She winced, grabbing his arm.  He got free to put down his son, then came back to help.

***

Xander woke up to the sight of a pacing Jigen.  "Promise me," she said quietly.  "I will never go through that."  Jigen paused to look at her.  "I mean it, promise me I will never have to go through that, or that someone will kill me if it happens."

He smiled.  "It's not supposed to be able to happen to you," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but if it does, someone will either have to kill me or I'm jumping off somewhere very high without a bungee cord.  I do not want to go through that."  The door opened, admitting his other lover.  "You too.  Promise me that it won't happen to me or you'll kill me."

"If it was one of ours, we'd be honor-bound to tie you to a bed and give you psychiatric drugs until you changed your mind," Lupin told him with a small smile.  Xander curled up in a little ball.  "I promise it won't happen," he said as he laid behind him, holding him tightly.  "Just because you've got the outside doesn't mean you've got the inside."

"I've felt both of you hit my cervix," she told him.  "The doctor who examined me in Istanbul couldn't tell the difference either."  Lupin looked at Jigen.  "She was a paranormal practitioner and she understood the elemental nature of the choker.  She said she couldn't tell the difference."

"Did she say you were fertile?"

Xander shook her head.  "No.  She didn't."  She reached behind her to play with the clasp.  "I should take this thing off until we can figure that part out," he admitted.

"But your innate selfish nature wants you to keep it on," Lupin quietly reminded him.  She nodded.  "It shouldn't happen.  The scarring you have on your other tubes should transfer if what Marcus has found is right."

"Should, but she thought that I might have some sperm getting through not just the other fluid; she said she couldn't find any live stuff."  He flipped over to look at Lupin.  "If that happens to me, I'm not going to be able to handle it.  I will jump off somewhere very high without a handy rope.  My mind will go and so will I."

"You can't until you've started a cycle," Jigen reminded him.

"There are thousands of children the world over who belie that fact," Xander told him.  "Your cycle states when your *last* fertile period was, not your next.  That's the problem with the rhythm method."  He looked stunned. "There are plenty of girls who get pregnant the month before their first cycle.  I don't want to be one of them.  I love you both with everything in me, but I can't wrap my mind around that."  He let out a little hysterical chuckle.

Jigen came over and pulled her up, shaking her.  "It can't happen."  Xander gave him the most trusting look.  "If it does, then we'll do something about it."  Xander shook her head.  "No?"

"No.  I can't.  Or I won't actually."  He blinked a few times then let her go.  "Seeing the quandary?"

"There are methods of protection that won't require you to take a pill every day, non- hormonal ones," Lupin offered.  "We can look into that for you."  She gave him the most beautiful smile.

"That means you'd have to use them," Jigen pointed out.  "It'll take away some of the spontaneous jumping you seem to prefer."

She sat down, looking at them.  "So I'm playing russian roulette with my life?"  He tried for the clasp on the choker but couldn't get it at all this time.  "Ethan!" he snapped.  "Quit that!"

Ethan appeared, shaking his head.  "It's not me.  Not every evil thing on the planet comes from me.  I thought you had learned this by now, my little one."  Xander pointed at the choker and he nodded.  "If you don't *want* to take it off, why would it let you?"  Xander frowned.  "Now, why are you so conflicted?"

"He had to deliver someone's baby earlier and it's confused him," Lupin said patiently.  "Are you always going to pop in like that?"

"Only sometimes," Ethan said with a smirk.  "Sometimes I prefer to watch from a distance."  He tipped Xander's chin up.  "To become pregnant while wearing that would require you to do a spell in addition to be wearing it.  And no, your tubes are only partially scarred over on one side and fully on the other."  He gave him a light kiss on the lips.  "Better now?"  Xander nodded so Ethan forced him to lay down.  "You take a short nap then jump them.  Let me have enough time to set up the viewing portal.  I do so enjoy your condition."  He knocked Xander out.  "The blue one is yours," he told Lupin.  Then he smirked and disappeared.

Xander looked over and tugged on the end of Jigen's coat, shaking his head.  He closed his eyes and dutifully went to sleep.  "Could turn you old for a few minutes," he mumbled as he drifted off.

Lupin got up and found the boxes, looking at the color-coded dots.  "I put our box on top.  I'm guessing mine's the red one and yours is the black?"  He looked over but Jigen was giving him a look.  "It's worth it."

"It might be but he just said something else."

"Xander?" Lupin called.  The boy hummed in his sleep.  "Are there any side effects?"

"Janus made them," he sighed, shifting in his sleep.

Lupin looked at Jigen, holding his out.  "We could try, he said there was an antidote."

"Yeah, but Rayne'll screw it out of us."

Lupin smirked.  "What could he want that we can't get?"

"At nearly a hundred?"

"Hmm.  That Dawn and Xander can't get?"

"Good point," Jigen admitted.  He looked at the little vial.  "This is the dumbest risk to date."

"It is, but it'll be fine," Lupin assured him.  "Even if we have to take the antidote."  He opened his and swallowed it.

Jigen felt honor-bound to follow him into this madness and took his too.  He winced as he felt himself age, swatting at him.  "Bastard," he hissed.

Lupin looked down at his hands.  "Xander!"

Xander sat up, looking at them.  He looked at the color coding.  "Give it two hours.  Lay down and take a nap."  He stood up, walking out before they could complain.  What else did they expect from something coming from Janus?  He walked into the infirmary.  "Goemon, promise me that if I *ever* end up pregnant you'll kill me," he said seriously.  The samurai looked at him.  "I mean it. I can't do that.  I will go insane."  He got a nod.  "Thank you.  Lupin just threatened me with anti-psychotics.  Speaking of, the potion takes a few hours to work correctly.  Janus is the laughing God for a reason."  Goemon looked startled.  "They're napping off their few hours of old age."

"Ah."  He stood up.  "We shall let them sleep then."  He walked over to let him see his son, knowing that's what he was down here for.  "He is fine.  We found an oxygen canister and have given him some a few times, but he is doing fine otherwise."

"Good.  Can we put up something like a tent?  Feed some light oxygen into the thing that's surrounding him?"

"I would hesitate to do so.  The Captain came down and put us in touch with the hospital we will be at tomorrow.  The helicopter for the Coast Guard is broken.  We'll be transported over from the dock tomorrow to have them checked out."

"He'll be fine, I'm sure of it," Xander promised.   He gave him a pat on the back and picked up the baby.  "Morning, baby samurai.  How are you feeling?  Would you like to help your unclie Xander calm down?  Please?"  The baby yawned and made sucky faces at him.  "No, I'm not the momma moo juice maker.  She's over there, sleepin'," he told him.  He put the baby's thumb into his mouth, letting him suck on that.  "There, try that."  The baby let out a contented sigh, falling asleep again.  "I've got this if you want to rest for a while.  I doubt they'll want me up there until they're younger."

Goemon smirked.  "It would come as quite a shock."  He checked on Fujiko, waking her slightly.  "I am going to nap as well," he whispered.  She nodded.  "Xander has the baby."

"'Kay, no spoiling yet.  Me first."  She shifted her position on the clean bed.

Xander grinned.  "I've actually got the bag in the room," he admitted.  "Baby clothes mostly."  Goemon smiled.  "I found you a baby kimono."  The smile got brighter.  "I think it's a bit heavy, but for whatever sort of christening it should be okay, right?"  He nodded.  "Cool.  It's up there, along with some footy sleepers and a musical bear.  I'll get it later."  He sat down with the baby, cooing and rocking him.  "You're going to be so spoiled," he promised. "Uncle Marcus is gonna teach you every ancient language known to man and demon.  And I'm gonna keep learning the new ones so you can know those too.  Then the daddy's gonna teach you martial arts and the sword while mommy teaches you about sparkly stuff.  Then Uncle Lupin will teach you about other sparkly stuff and Uncle Jigen will teach you how to shoot, just like he did me."  The baby made another sucky face at him and accepted his thumb back.  "We need to get you some formula, little guy.  You've got to be hungry."

"She fed him a little bit earlier," Goemon admitted as he laid down on the bed next to his wife's.  "He could be hungry again however."

"The books said about every two hours or so."

"Good to know.  He'll probably be obstinate."

"Of course he will.  We got our influencing in while he was still in the womb."  The father chuckled and shook his head, relaxing on his bed.  "Say nighty-night, daddy."  He waved the baby's hand.  "We'll let them sleep while we talk."  He curled up, watching the baby sleep.  "I wouldn't mind one of you, but one of you will never come from my body," he told him.  "Otherwise the uncle Xander will freak out and start to scream and pull his pretty silver hair out in great big handfuls."  The baby waved a fist so he captured the hand, letting him hold his finger.  "Yeah, maybe some day I'll have one of you.  Maybe I'll adopt one of you.  That'll be neat.  Then I can pick what I want."  He felt a gentle touch to his back and looked up at the guard.  "Hey.  What's wrong?"

"I came to check on them.  Are they all right?"

"The baby's fine so far.  He's breathing pretty well.  Thanks."

"You're welcome.  What a way to christen a boat," he said with a grin.  "We'll be docking about ten, the Captain's going a little faster than necessary at the moment.  Mostly because he wants the dead body off the ship before someone else finds out.  It'll look really bad on the company."  Xander nodded.  "If you need anything, call me, okay?"  He nodded.  "We've got a can of formula in the emergency rations and a few bottles.  Want them?"

"And a few diapers if you've got them," Xander said quietly.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  They're all pretty special at that age."  He made a call and one of his guys brought the stuff up.  "Here you are."  He handed it over.  "We'll be in port for nearly five hours, they should be able to know by then."  He nodded and walked away.

Xander got up, putting the diaper on the baby.  It was too big, but he would deal with it for now. Some medical tape around the top worked wonders.  The formula had some confusing instructions but he managed through it since it was in Spanish.  How much did a baby eat anyway?  He made a full bottle, just in case, and gave it to the baby, earning the eternal gratitude of the little guy.  He curled up beside him again, letting him snuggle against his chest while he ate.  "There, how's that?  Pretty neat, this spoiling stuff, huh?" he asked with a grin.

***

Jigen and Lupin woke up, seeing the mirrors taped above their heads.  They were younger.  Jigen looked over at his boss. "It was still a big risk."

Lupin groaned, touching his face.  "It was worth it."

Jigen nodded, accepting that.  He climbed out of the bed, running into the open bag on the floor.  "Xander's been back."

"I figured since the mirrors are stuck up there with medical tape."  Lupin swung around until he was siting up, looking at the bag.  "What's that?"

"More baby presents if I remember right."  He opened it, smiling at the things inside.  "Soft and fluffy clothes."  He put it out of his way, going to look in the big mirror in the bathroom.  "It did work.  My wrinkles are down."

"I noticed that."  He walked in to get some of the big mirror himself.  "I wonder what happened?"

"Janus," Jigen said simply.

"He probably did get a good laugh out of the panic," Lupin agreed.  He touched his skin.  "I need a facial.  So do you."

"Guys don't get those."

"It might help with some of the dead skin," Goemon said, making them both jump.  He smirked.  "Did I startle you?" he asked, going to the bag of soft baby stuff.  He pulled to a bear, looking at it.  "What is this?" he said, shaking it.  He could feel a switch so he flipped it on. A low thrumming started, making him look concerned.

Lupin came out.  "I looked at those.  It's a heartbeat bear.  It's to mimic what he's missing from the inside.  How is he?"

"He's doing fine.  We'll be docking soon.  I came to get him something clean to wear since he just messed up his other outfit."

"Babies do that," Jigen agreed.  He came out.  "What dead skin?"

"Everyone has dead skin, it is what makes the wrinkles look worse.  So said the wife," he noted.  "She was complaining about hers."  He held up the cellphone.  "We are taking Xander's with us.  We will hopefully be back before the ship moves."

"If not, head for the house, whichever one you can get to easiest," Lupin told him.  "The job's off officially."  Goemon nodded, taking the bag with him.  "We should probably find Xander."

"He's in the infirmary," Jigen pointed out. "He's probably been back, showered, changed, and left again."  Lupin nodded so they went through their morning routine before heading up to find their boy.  Jigen picked him up, taking him away from his diaper changing.  Xander looked up at him.  "We're sorry we ran you out last night."

Xander touched the side of his face.  "Not an issue."  He stole a kiss.  "I need to finish doing that before he sprays again."

Lupin looked over.  "I've got it."  He ducked a quick squirt, hastily putting on the diaper.  "I thought I was fast," he said, ticking the tiny stomach.  The baby wiggled and grunted at him.  "Good morning, baby Goemon.  We'll have to find a nickname to call you by."

"Mine," Goemon told him.

"No, that's not a good one," Lupin told him, grinning at him.  "You can't steal all our fun, we'll come and take the baby."

"Hopefully while he has colic," Fujiko said from her bed.  "Is it time yet?"

"Nearly.  I saw the harbor when I checked a few minutes ago," Xander told her.  He helped her up, smiling at her shocked look.  "Feel twenty pounds lighter?" he suggested.

"And then some.  Shower?"

"There's one up here and I got you a pretty robe from my stuff."  He led her that way, letting her do her own shower.  He came out and looked in the bag.  "He's gone through that many already?"

"I've moved most of it to my own bag," Goemon admitted.  "We may or may not be getting off here."

"Considering you can't fly with the baby, that'll be hard," Xander told him.  "Want me to stop in town and pick up some baby supplies for you?"

"If you would not mind," he agreed.  "No plans of your own?"

"Oh, we've got a package coming to the dock," Xander said with an impish grin.  He picked up the baby.  "I will miss you until I see you again, little guy.  So you be a good boy for the mommy and daddy, but pee on them a few times, okay?"  He patted the baby on the back, making him burp.  "Oooh, nasty bellies!"  He wiped off his shirt and the tiny mouth, seeing the innocent look.  "Yeah, you'll go far in the life, kid.  Keep that innocent look and no one will ever be able to resist you."

"Hand over the baby," Fujiko demanded as she came out dressed in one of Xander's robes and pajama sets.  "Thanks for this, Xan."  She kissed him on the cheek and took her son back, holding them herself.  "Yeah, it's me again," she told him, sitting on the bed with a hiss.  "Ow.  Never again."

"Unless you want to," Goemon said, smirking at her back.

"Never again," she said more firmly.  She pulled Xander closer.  "Don't let them do this to you. You'll hate it."  He nodded.  "Good boy."  She kissed him on the cheek, noticing the guard in the doorway.  "Is it time?"

"Nearly.  We're going to let you three off first, then let the cops on, then everyone else," the guard said.  He looked at Xander.  "Boy?"

"It's like telling a dog that," Fujiko told him.  "She needs a lot of praise."  The guard nodded, letting it go.  "Do I have to walk all the way up there?"  She squealed as her husband picked her up and Lupin stole the baby, letting the other two get the bags.  "Damn it, you're not usually this strong."

"I managed to lift you all the time while you were pregnant," he reminded her.  "Usually up to our bedroom."  He walked her up to the main docking point, letting her stand on her own once they were there.  He accepted the bags and she stole the baby back.  "Thank you.  I will call as soon as we know anything."

"Memory dial three," Xander told him.  "One is Marcus in case you needed him."  Goemon smirked at him and he shrugged. "What?  I seem to talk to him more often than I do these two."  Jigen pinched him, making him yelp.  "Sorry.  I'll be good.  I'll pick up the baby stuff and bring it to whichever hospital."  They waited while the gangplank was lowered and the paramedics rushed up to them.  "He was born last night, just ate, and he should need a diaper change in about an hour."  The paramedics looked at him.  "What?  I got to catch."

"What time?" the lead paramedic asked.

"Let's see.  Xander woke up at 11:20," Jigen said, thinking back; he had been staring at the clock.  "Probably just after eleven."

"That is fine."  They got them loaded up and took them off.

"Which hospital?" Xander called.

"The city one," they called back.

"It's only a few blocks away," Lupin promised.  "We're going baby shopping?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Then we'll discuss your *payment* for the wonderful present."  He stroked the firm back, making Xander look at him.  "Unless you don't want it."

"No, I want.  I'm still deathly afraid of going through that but Goemon promised he'd kill me."

Jigen laughed.  "Sure he will.  Right after we strap you down and feed you drugs."  He gave him a pat on the back.  "Do you have everything for the day?"  Xander shook her head and jogged back to the room to finish getting ready. "Do we have everything for the day?"

Lupin shook his head, leading the way back to the room to get things like his wallet.  He passed by the cops carrying out the body.  "Poor guy," he told them.  They looked at him but didn't stop him.

Xander came back in time to be one of the first ones off the gangplank, walking over to the ticket counter.  "Hi, I had a delivery coming for Alexandra DeMain?"  The ticket girl nodded, looking through the dispatch box.  She held up two envelopes.  "Well, gee, not the ones I expected."  He saw a delivery guy from the same company waiting off to the side so he signed for his messages and went to check with him.  "DeMain?" he asked.  The man nodded, handing over the thick manilla envelope and making him sign another form.  He compared the signatures, then nodded and left.  Xander whistled as Jigen came off the boat, waving him over.  He sat down to read the messages, handing the one from Zenigata to Lupin.  The other was from Murami and he handed that one over after a small laugh.   He opened the envelope and took out the checks.  "Let's see.  This one's yours," he said, handing it to Lupin.  "This one's yours," he said, handing it to Jigen.  "Mine's in the bank.  The other two are the other two's and I forwarded Marcus' back to the house."

"You did it solo, you could have kept it," Lupin offered, folding it and putting it into his wallet.  He took the envelope to look at the new drivers licences and passports.  "Wonderful job."  He found his bundle and took it, letting Jigen have his.  Xander's were handed over to her.  The other two and the two checks were stuffed back in there and carried with them while they went to cash the million and change checks then go baby shopping.  The National Bank of Mexico looked at them funny but they couldn't refuse to cash a cashier's check.

The baby shopping was fun.  There was all sort of neat stuff in the bazaar and open air markets for babies.  They'd need a new house to hold most of it.  Xander managed to find the local brujas and talk to them, finding what he needed from them.  Then he went back to formula, diaper, and necessity baby shopping.  The other guys were looking at outrageous things like gold plated pacifiers.  They called Goemon, who was disgruntled to be waiting, and told him they were coming over.

***

Fujiko looked at the nurse attending her.  "Habla Englais?" she asked hopefully. This was the fourth who had come in to check on her and she was really tired of this.  She wanted drugs! The nurse shook her head, checking her vitals.  "Does anyone around here speak English, French, Arabic, or Japanese?"  The nurse gave her a look.  "Ah.  Translatoro?" she tried.  The nurse laughed and handed her the baby, making a motion at her chest.  Fujiko shook her head.  "No, I'm not breast feeding.  I need that shot."  The nurse frowned and she shook her head again. The nurse nodded, giving her an impatient look.  "No.  Damn it, I want someone who speaks English!" she yelled.  A harried looking tourist came in and tried to help but he couldn't find the word for breastfeed in his little dictionary.  Finally, a doctor came in.  "Habla Englias?" she asked.

He nodded.  "Actually, yes I do," he admitted with a Northern accent.  "I came down here for the sun.  What seems to be the problem."

"I can't breastfeed," she told him.

"Can't or won't?"

"Won't fits," she admitted, going into the cover story she had made up last night. "I'm a business woman.  I've got seventeen meetings in the next few weeks.  My guys won't respect me if they catch me breastfeeding.  Plus, he's going to have a nanny part of the time because I can't always be there.  Not for another few months anyway.  That leaves out even pumping for him with my schedule.  I'm going to be on a plane to Hong Kong in another six days and I don't think Fed Ex will ship it back."

"I see."  He looked at the baby.  "Has he been looked over yet?  He's very tiny."

"He was a little premature," she admitted. "A friend had to deliver him since the doctor was shot.  We came off the cruise ship in the harbor."

"Ah, then you're her.  I was told to expect you," he said with a smile.  "The father?"

"He's off staring out the window so he could ignore me getting frustrated.  I can't even breast pump.  It's not real convenient for me to whip out my tit in the middle of a meeting with my Arabic office."

He laughed. "You're right, they probably would get offended."  He said something to the nurse, making her snort in disgust.  "She believes all mothers can breastfeed and should.  It is healthier but sometimes it's not an option."

"I would if I could, but I really can't," she told him.  "Plus, they *ache*."  He nodded, writing that down.  "Isn't there a shot for that?"

"There is," he admitted. "There's also a progesterone shot to help with the bleeding.  We don't like to give that before a few weeks are up," he admitted.  "In some extreme circumstances we do."  He called out for a different nurse, bringing her running.  "Please check the baby," he ordered.  She nodded, smiling and holding out her arms.  "She'll stay in the room.  We've tagged the baby so it can't be taken away from you."  She relaxed, letting the nurse take the baby to the other bed in the cubicle.  "Now for the gross part.  I'll need to examine you."  He heard the curtain move and turned, looking into a pair of dark eyes.  "The child's father?"

"My husband," she agreed.  "Goemon, this nice doctor saved me from shooting the nurse."

"Thank you.  She has been getting frustrated easily recently."  He went to watch what was being done to his son.  "We had to give him oxygen a few times last night," he told her.

"We heard.  We got the notes from the doctors on call last night," the doctor told him. "I'm going to have to examine your wife.  Did the afterbirth already come out?"  He pointed at the bag that contained it.  "Thank you.  Most people don't think to bring that in.  We can do some testing of the baby from it instead of pulling blood from him."  He pulled a chair over, dropping the bottom of the bed.  "I'm sure you've done this before.  Feet into the stirrups," he said as he pulled them out.  He lifted the sheet, taking a look.  "No tearing.  I'm impressed.  You must have some very strong muscles."  He inserted a gloved finger, making her wince.  "I know.  I want to make sure that you've undilated."  He felt around then pulled back and recovered her.  He took off the glove and put the end of the bed back up and the stirrups away.  "All right, you can sit up again," he told her.  She winced.  "I know it hurts," he soothed. "Did you get anything?"  She shook her head, giving him a desperate look.  "I figured as much.  Let me get you some Tylenol and demerol."  She reached over and hugged him, making him pat her on the back.  "I know.  It's painful. My own wife described it as pushing out a bowling ball through her ear."  He got free and went to order her drugs.  He came back, looking over the child.  "He is very healthy for his size."

"Will we be able to take him back to our house in France?" Goemon asked.

"Um, yes and no," the doctor admitted.  "Yes, you could probably take him home.  Getting to France will be a bit of a problem considering he can't fly for at least a month, possibly two since he's so small."  They winced.  "You can take a ship.  I know there are some that go that way.  It's not as sunny as the ones on this side of the world," he admitted with a grin.  "But you could do that."

"Hmm."  Goemon looked at her.  "We could go to Bali."

She shook her head.  "I don't feel secure enough there.  We could move around the cruise line, take one going through the canal.  Otherwise I can't really see us driving across the United States."  He nodded, the baby would never fit on a motorcycle with them both and she didn't like to drive regular cars these days.  Plus there was the problem of them being wanted felons.  "Where does the one we're on go?"  He shrugged.  "Do you have any ideas?" she asked with a touch of irritation.

"I like yours," he admitted. She smiled at him.  He looked at the doctor.  "There are rumors I would like to have dispelled if I may.  When will she be fertile again?"

"For some women, it's today," he told him.  "For some it's not for six months.  For some, it's not for a year.  I have seen women who come in for their six week post-natal visit and end up being four weeks along."  Fujiko shuddered.  "Generally, I encourage most couples to wait on having sex for at least two months, mostly because she'd be in pain.  If you feel you must because her beauty moves you, use a condom."  He nodded quickly.  "You should be able to find them on any ship."

"Hopefully.  If not, I know someone who does carry them and will probably go with us."

"Oh, yeah, they probably will," Fujiko agreed.  "Think we could get Marcus down too?"

"A family member?"

"Our part-time nanny," she explained.  "He's back in France being a big worrywart.  He's British."  The doctor laughed at that.  She shrugged.  "When did they call?"

"A few minutes before I came in.  They said they were coming this way."  He looked at her.  "If that is what you want," he promised.  "If not, we could always get one of those odd minivans and take them across the country and get another ship in New York."

"I don't really like that option," she admitted. "It's risky.  At least on a ship we'll have medical people if something happens."  She looked at the doctor.  "He is fine, right?"  He nodded.  "He can go home and all that?"

"He's a little small.  I'll be sending records with you for the doctor on the ship.  Usually they won't let anyone *too* sick on but he's not really sick and it is mostly the only way you'll get home."  She nodded.  A nurse brought in two needles and a little cup with pills.  "Ah-ha.  The good stuff."  He smiled as he took the first needle.  "This will stop the bleeding.  I can pass it along to the ship's doctor for you in a week if you want.  The body really does need to bleed."

"I'm tired of it," she told him. "This is going to drive me nuts.  No tampons, just gushing blood."  He nodded wisely, giving her the shot.  "Now the other," she demanded.  "Before I start to itch again."

"It may take up to three days for your milk to fully dry up," he warned.  "You could let the baby do some light sucking now and then."  She nodded.  "Too much will make it keep going however. Oh, and if he wants a taste," he said quietly, "it's normal."  He noticed the father's bright red blush and smiled. "It is.  Really."  He stuck her with that one as well.  Then he handed over the pills and the glass of water.  "There you are."  She gulped them quickly, sighing in relief.  Three more people forced their way inside, one of them speaking spanish at the complaining nurse.  "You are?" he asked.

"Our traveling companions," Goemon told him.

"Uncles and aunt," Fujiko agreed.  "Part-time baby sitters.  Really good spoilers."  She smirked at Xander.  "Tylenol and demerol."

"Oh, I'm so happy that you finally got something."  She gave her a hug.  "You rest and we'll do *everything*."

"We have decided to take a ship back to the main house since we cannot fly," Goemon told them.  "Otherwise we would have to drive across country and take one anyway."

Lupin nodded.  "Okay.  Let me check with the cruise line.  Can the little fourteenth there go home?"  Goemon nodded.  "Good job.  Get her prescriptions and we'll get them filled on the way back to the boat."  He shook the doctor's hand.  "Thank you for helping her.  She will always be very special to me."  He came over to pick up the baby, holding it tightly.  "Yeah, we'll go on the big boat and we'll even keep Uncle J over there from tossing you off the boat when you scream and wake him up."  The doctor laughed, shaking his head as he wrote out the prescriptions for them and ordered copies of the medical records to go with them.  "He can be a bit grumpy in the morning."

Jigen came over, touching him gently on the head.  "Don't listen to him.  He's just jealous because you haven't peed on me yet."  Xander snickered.  "Speaking of which, that means we've got to pack."

"Our current one goes somewhere else," Xander offered.  "One of the other big ports in Mexico.  We could go there, then change ships.  That would give us enough time to pack."

Lupin looked at him.  "It's your own fault you bring so much stuff with you."  He looked at Goemon, handing over the envelope.  "For you.  He won the baby a trust fund in Vegas."

Goemon smirked at Xander.  "That was very kind of you."  He looked inside, seeing all the documents.  "Thank you."

"Welcome.  You guys know I aspire to be the spoiling queen."  She took the prescriptions, going to find a pharmacy to get them filled.  Plus to call the shipping line about switching to something that would take them to either Miami or New York.  Both were accomplished by the time they got around to discharging Fujiko.  "Bad news," he admitted.  Lupin looked at him.  "We will have to pack today.  There's one due in that will dock in Miami in a week. It's due in about three hours though."

Lupin nodded.  "Okay.  We can do that.  Let's pack up everything we brought and head back."  He supervised, having the baby.  Most of the bags had been consolidated.  They walked out with a lot more stuff, but it was all good stuff.

***

Xander walked off the gangplank with his bag and the baby carrier.  "Marcus, man," he said, looking behind him. "And two cops, you shouldn't have."

"It was not my choice," Marcus admitted.  "They decided I should not be hanging around."  He looked back at them.  "I am here to meet them.  I am the nanny."  He wiggled his hands. "Please free me now."

Fujiko came down, not carrying anything.  "What is going on?"

"They decided I was loitering and were waiting to see if my excuse for doing such was valid," Marcus said bitterly.

"He's my son's nanny," she said sharply.  "Let him the fuck go before I kill you both."

"She's six day postpartum," Xander told them.  "She's still having mood swings and can't have sex, chocolate, or coffee yet."  They shuddered and undid Marcus, walking off.  "Thank you for being reasonable."

"And you did not even have to beat anyone up," Goemon noted as he joined them.  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "I am sure there will be someone to thrash soon enough."  He handed Marcus the bags.  "When does the next ship leave?"

"We are not staying in Miami," Lupin announced.  "I've got bad memories here."

"The ship doesn't leave until tomorrow morning," Marcus told him.

"Damn it."  He came down to look at the little guy.  "Hello, Ishi."  The baby grunted at him and kicked Xander.  "Don't be that way, I don't like this city either."  Jigen came down, looking at him.  "We're stuck here overnight."

"Oh hell no," he said.  He walked to the ticket clerk.  "Isn't there anything going north soon?"  She shook her head.

"We can go to Disney!" Xander said happily.  Everyone looked at him.  "What?  I *like* Disney.  Plus, they've got hotels, Orlando has service to the nearest harbor, and there are many things, like the Disney cruise line."

Lupin shook his head.  "Not now, Xander.  Disney later, home now.  I want to get home so I can make you make noise."  Xander blushed and giggled nervously.  He looked behind him, giving an irritated grunt to the cop standing there.  "We're passing through."

"So I can see," he said dryly, pushing his sunglasses up on top of his red hair.  "And a baby now?"

"Mine," Fujiko said firmly.  "There are no warrants for us."

"I've seen that as well," he said dryly.   "How?"

Lupin shrugged. "Magic?"

The head CSI in the city frowned at him.  "Does not exist."

"If you say so," Xander said dryly.

"For him it probably doesn't," Jigen agreed.   "You really can't do anything."

"I can take you downtown until we check for new warrants. That should kill your evening."

"Try it.  I haven't lost my temper in *weeks*," Xander promised him.  "And I do like to sue cities for unlawful harassment.  I can make your boss wish he had never been born, and thereby pass it onto you.  Your choice of course," he said dryly.

"Calm down," Goemon said patiently.  "I will train that urge out of you yet."  He stepped forward.  "Leave us alone.  You have no business being here.  We are merely passing through and stranded.  You are annoying."

"It is my business, this is my city.  I told you never to return."  Xander growled and tensed.  "Your bodyguard is about to get herself into trouble," he warned.

"Sit," Fujiko ordered.  "Don't antagonize him, it'll only make it worse."

"Fine, then I'll do it the other way," Xander said, glaring at him.  He started to mutter, and the CSI found himself in the middle of a wind storm that was hitting him from all sides.  The woman walked into it with him, glaring at him.  "If you try to harm that child, I will make your last few minutes on this plane the most painful things anyone has ever experienced.  Don't believe me, try me.  This is nothing compared to what I can do."  He walked out of it, leaving it there.  "Let's go.  There is not enough chocolate in the world to make me put up with that man."  He stomped off.

Jigen looked impressed and scared.  "He takes it off tonight," he told Lupin.  "He's getting PMS."

Lupin shuddered.  "You're right, he's taking it off tonight.  Remind me to stop at the pharmacy on the way to the hotel."  He looked at the clerk.  "He'll be fine in about five minutes.  What time is boarding?"

"Eleven," she said.  "This isn't anything compared to some of the Cuban witches."

Lupin smiled.  "Xan's a little bit unconventional.  Thank you.  We'll be here at ten."  He walked off, heading out to the taxi stand.  Xander had already gotten them one and was waiting against it.  "Behave," he said patiently.  "And take that thing off."

"When we get to the hotel," Xander agreed.  "I'm not feeling good."

"That's why we're taking it from you for a few weeks. "We don't need you with PMS."

"I do not," Xander complained.  "I'm just cranky.  Maybe if I hadn't woken up cold and alone this morning I'd be in a better mood."

"You're the one who fell asleep on the couch," Jigen reminded him as he joined them.

"And what, you can't wake me up now?"

Jigen smirked. "Exactly.  You looked too cute to wake up."

Xander relented.  "Fine, but I get sex tonight before I give the stupid thing up."

"That's fine," Jigen agreed.  "We can even keep the baby up."

"We'll stay at a different hotel if that's going to happen," Fujiko told them as she came out, Marcus carrying everything but the baby now.  "Get the one behind him," she ordered.  "Make sure he's got a baby seat.  We'll be at the nearest one."

"So will we," Lupin told her.  "But we'll get non-adjoining rooms."

"Why?" Goemon asked.

"They just threatened to keep the rest of us up," she told him.

"They do, as do we to them.  Obviously why Xander is in a bad mood."  He nodded at the driver.  "Is there an infant seat?"  The driver nodded, getting out to get it installed for them.

***

Jigen laid the sleepy Xander down onto the bed, smirking at her.  "So much for her needing noise."

Lupin came in with their bags. "She out?"

"Fully."  He looked behind him.  "Are we missing one?"

"It's in the hallway.  You could have helped."

"I had her."

"We've got to get her to take that off for a few days," Lupin groaned.  "We both called her 'her'."  Jigen nodded that he agreed.  "Did you know she could get stuck like that?"

"I think she likes being like this," Jigen admitted, sitting down to take off his shoes.  "Eleven?"

Lupin looked at his tickets.  "Mine says ten."  He held it out.  "So we need to be there by nine."  He opened up the door, going to check Fujiko's tickets for her.  "Are we okay in here?" he asked.  She nodded from her spot on the bed.  "Regretting not breastfeeding?"

"No.  Just cuddling."  She watched him dig around in her purse.  "What are you looking for?"

"Tickets.  Mine say departure is at ten."  He found them and looked at them.  "So do yours.  We'll need to get there at nine."  He looked back at her and smiled.  "That okay with you?"

"Fine," she promised.  She yawned.  "Go away."

"Going.  We're two doors up if you need us.  On the other side of Marcus."  She nodded, letting him leave. Lupin went back to his room, finding Jigen trying to get the limp body out of her jeans and t-shirt.  "Cut them off her," he suggested.

"She just got those," Jigen told him.

"We can always buy her more," Lupin reminded him.  He pulled out his pocket knife and came over, taking the clothes off her.  Then he moved back and smirked.  "I think she's picked up bad underwear habits."

Jigen looked at the thong, then nodded.  "I think we should break her of that habit.  Those can't be comfortable."  Xander moaned, patting herself down, then looked up at him.  "Morning."

"Already?" she asked tiredly.

"No, just a saying," Lupin told her, looking down at her.  "What are we going to do about your tickets?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  Misprint?"

"Maybe," Jigen agreed, laying down next to her. She giggled as he stroked up her side.  "We still haven't paid you for the nice presents."

"Very true."  She rolled onto her back, spreading out for their approval.  "Should I take a few minutes to make sure I don't have to shave?"  They shook their heads, both of them leaning down to kiss different parts of her body.  "Guys, it's not my birthday," she noted with a grin.

Lupin laughed.  "We're enjoying ourselves.  Behave."

"Sure.  Not complaining in the least."  She squeaked and arched up into a nip her stomach had just received.  Someone pounded on the door, making her groan.  "What!" she yelled.

Goemon walked in, handing over the baby.  "We have no idea what is wrong with him.   You seem to.  Fix it."  He crossed his arms, watching as Xander patted the baby gently, making him quit fussing.  "That's all you had to do?  Hold him and pat him on the back?"

Xander nodded.  "It's comforting to him.  That's all you had to do."  He tried to hand the baby back but Ishi started to cry.  "Crap."  She sat up, holding the baby against her chest.  "Don't do this to me, sweetheart, uncle Xander was about to get sex and he's been missing it recently," he said in his most soothing voice.  The baby calmed down but as soon as anyone else tried to move the baby he fussed.  "Oh, come on," he complained.  "I'm not mom."

Goemon shook his head.  "Thank you."   He left them alone.

"When they said babies in the house change your sex life, I thought they meant the parents," Jigen said dryly.

Xander shook his head.  Then he squealed and stiffened as a loud 'pop' went off around him.  "I think we just got a bigger problem," she squealed.

Lupin took the baby, looking at the empty spot on the choker.  "Shit."  He checked his mouth, but the baby had already swallowed it.  "Goemon!"  He came back a moment later.  "The baby swallowed one of the stones from the choker."

The father's eyes widened comically.  "Oh dear."  He looked at Xander, who looked very enticing at the moment.  "I shall call the local Emergency Room to see if we can encourage it to come out sooner."

"Otherwise I can stay this way," Xander said hysterically.  "I want my penis back sometime!"

"Shh," Jigen soothed.  "Call Ethan."

"ETHAN!" he sobbed.

Ethan showed up, frowning.  Then he groaned.  He looked at Lupin.  "You have twenty- four hours to have it fixed," he instructed.  "Otherwise it may never allow itself to be removed.  If you can get the stone reset, she can take it off, but should not for at least another day to let the magic resettle around her.  If you can, it *should* be fine."  All the men looked at him in shock.  "Seriously, people.  Where is it?"

"Inside the infant," Goemon said, pointing.

Ethan winced.  "Well, you have a shot.  I'd get the baby something to make it go faster."  He tipped Xander's head up.  "Don't worry, I will always adore you even if you are stuck in this form."  Xander glared at him.  "Fine, I do prefer you as a male, but I could stand you this way if they sent you away."

"Why?  She's just as talented in this form as the other," Jigen told him.  He picked up the phone, calling the emergency room on the list beside the phone himself.  "Hi, I'm babysitting my nephew.  He swallowed a diamond off a choker.  We're leaving in the morning and we need it back, the owner is heading in another direction."  He listened.  "No, only a week.  He was cuddled next to it and sucked it free.  We've checked, he's already swallowed it."  He looked at Lupin.  "How long?"  He nodded. "That's fine, we'll be there."  He hung up.  "Xan, stay here, we're taking the baby to make it get sick."  He pulled back on his jacket and hat, following the others out of the room, locking it behind him.

Ethan sat down, holding his favorite plaything gently.  "It will be fine.  They do adore you in this form and you'll be able to have them all the time."

"Not helping," Xander told him, sounding miserable.  "I like my body."

"I know you do, Xander.  I happen to like it as much as your boss does."  He gave him a squeeze.  "And if not, then you can more than happily come be part of my harem of slayers.  Faith would gladly share you with me since you are just as dangerous as she is."  Someone knocked on the door so he waved a hand, opening the door magically.  "They stole your child."

"Who did?" the mother demanded.

"The guys," Xander said, pointing at her choker.  "The baby swallowed one."  He looked at Ethan.  "There was a loud pop and a tingle."

"There should have been.  It released some of the magic stored in the dear thing."  He kissed him.  "Promise me to learn better and faster and I'll try to recharge it for you once it's fixed."  He stood up.  "Try to behave, Xander?"  He nodded, watching as he left.  Faith jumped him as soon as he got home so he told her, making her laugh and shake her head.

Xander slumped.  "They've got to get the diamond out of the baby's system and back into the necklace within twenty-four hours," he told her.  She winced.  "Yeah."  He looked at her, then frowned.  "Fujiko, have you been feeling off?  You look a little odd."

"No. We've been good," she told him.  "Define odd."

"Softer maybe?"

"I'm going to kill him if the condom broke and he didn't tell me," she said, going back to wake up Marcus.  He could deal with the magical stuff.

***

Jigen paced the waiting area, only the father had been allowed back there.  Goemon came out with the baby, a few forms, and a plastic bag.  "Did we get it?"  He held it up, showing the small diamond in the nasty stuff around it.  "Eww."

"Very eww," Lupin agreed, delicately taking the bag.  "But we can clean it."  He nodded outside.  "Let's do that now, so we can get that thing off her.  If we're on the cruise we might have some problems."  A nurse came out, bringing them a forgotten bottle.  "Thank you."

"You're going on a cruise?" she asked.

"We live in Europe," Goemon told her.

"Oh, you poor thing," she soothed, patting him on the cheek. "I guess that is the only way to get home for you guys.  You take good care of the little guy and get him something appropriate to suck on."  She waved at him as he was taken out.   "That kid is going to drive his parents insane," she said happily.

Nightmares!

Xander looked up, unable to watch as his favorite toy was fixed for him.  His chin kept getting in the way and someone had threatened to hold his head still if he didn't quit wiggling.

"The setting's pretty loose.  I'll have to put the prongs on top of the stone for now," Lupin told him. "It'll look off until we can officially repair it."  Xander nodded so he bent the little silver claws over the stone, moving as fast as he could as the choker fizzled and popped dangerously.  "Done."  He put his tools away in their case, then put the case into his carry-on bag.

Xander took it off and rubbed the spot on his neck.  "Let me clean this, then we'll put it into the special box."  He walked in to clean any grime he had missed in his showers.  He hated being dirty these days.  The lack of slime in his daily life had made him soft.  When he came out with his freshly scrubbed neck, he looked at his poor choker.  "That stone really stands out.  Do we have the silk?"  A tie was handed over so he wrapped it around the damaged magical item before putting it into the jewelry box.  "Off you go," he whispered.   "I'll miss you."  He sealed it then put it into the courier pouch that he had addressed earlier.  "Let's hope Ethan can fix you," he muttered.  "I'll miss you."  He sealed it and handed it off.  Lupin took it down to send it off, leaving him with Jigen.  "This sucks."

"Yeah."  He gave him a pat.  "Hopefully it can be fixed."  Otherwise he was going to be miserable.  Because of this, the three of them were flying back so he did a check of the room, pushing Xander out so they could catch a cab to the airport.  He knew Lupin would be following soon, he was giving them time alone.  He was stumped on something to say.  He *really* wanted that necklace fixed!

Xander climbed into the cab, feeling miserable.  This would take his best buddy and lover from him.  He would have to find a way around this!  Even if he had to play with the dark, slick magic!

***

Xander walked into the house, leading the way.  They were all tired from the last few days so the three cops in the doorway startled him. "Um, hi," he said, wiggling his fingers at them.  "What are you doing in here?"  He felt the other two pause behind him.

Zenigata stepped out.  "We're taking the tour," he said smugly.  "Apparently crime *does* pay."

Xander gave him a confused look.  "How did you find us?"

"Mark."

"I *knew* flirting with him was a bad idea."  He felt the older guys back away from him.  "You know, I'm usually very nice to you, but I'm tired and *really* tired of being chased by you."   Words started to trip off his tongue, unfamiliar to him but sounding somehow familiar for some reason.  A dark hole opened in front of him, startling the cops.  A body was thrown out of the portal and the hole snapped close.  The blond head raised and growled. Then it leapt up, sniffing the air like a bloodhound.  It ran at the startled cops and the first was grabbed easily, his throat being ripped out messily.  The others tried to run.

"Outside, get into the sun!" Zenigata yelled, heading for the gardens.  The thieves might stop him.  Another cop fell within seconds of the first's body hitting the floor and the last one fell as he ran outside.

Xander stood there, stunned stupid.  "Spike?  I brought back Spike?"  Someone went running past him, shaking him free.  He strolled that way, shaking his head.  "You're full, leave my friends and my boss alone," he ordered.

"And me!" Zenigata yelled from his safe spot just in the sunlight.

Xander tapped Spike on the shoulder, hugging him when he got a human-looking Spike.  "Welcome back.  Was your part of hell better than mine?"

Spike laughed.  "Wasn't too bad.  Not as bad as Peaches moaned about."  He hugged him back, letting his demon out

"No biting him!" Lupin yelled.  "Xander!"

"If he eats me, he'd be in trouble," Xander told him.  "No eating the Xander.  We'll send you off so you can eat the Buffy.  I'm sure Dawn would like that."  Spike pulled back, laughing hard.

"You know that thing?" Jigen and Zenigata said angrily.

"Guys, this is Spike.  Spike, these are my family and the guy who chases us," he said, waving a hand outside.  "Bite my guys and I stake you.  Dawn may care if you eat the cop.  I don't, but she would.  Jigen, Lupin, this is Spike."  They waved weakly.  "Oh!  The baby!  He'll be here soon and you can't be!"  He frowned, then shrugged.  "Boss, can I have a kitten?"

"Not that one!"

Zenigata yelled as Spike reached out and grabbed him, beating at the supernaturally strong arm.  He was bitten and fed blood before anyone could say anything.

"Hey!" Xander complained, swatting Spike.  "Bad vampire!  Bad!"  He found himself grabbed and bitten.

"Now you'll be mine!" Spike hissed in his ear.  "I'll teach you to play nicely."

"NO!!!" Xander yelled as he woke up, battling everyone near him.  "I don't wanna be a vampire with Zenigata!  Please!  No!  Lupin!  Jigen!"

Then men looked at each other, then shuddered.  That was a bad thought.

"Xander," Lupin said, grabbing him before he hurt them.

"Xander!" Jigen said, patting his face.  "Wake up!"  Xander whimpered.

"Come on, wake up," Lupin encouraged.  "It's all right.  No vampires are going to get you."  Xander went limp in his arms.  "What was that?"

Xander sat up, looking at them.  "We went home and found cops and Zenigata inside the house.  I brought back Spike and he ate the other cops then us so we would have to be together to amuse him," he babbled, looking panicked.  "I brought back Spike and he wanted me to sleep with Gramps!" he whined when they looked like they didn't get it.

"Shh, no vampire is going to make you do such disgusting things," Lupin soothed, holding him tightly while looking at Jigen.

"What part of your mind did that come from?" Jigen asked.  That was enough to turn him off sex forever.

"It was *horrible*!" Xander complained.  "I don't want that!"  He got up and went to take a long shower.  He paused then came out.  "Mark knows."  The older men nodded.  "Zenigata knows Mark."

"I'll have Dawn deal with him," Lupin promised.

Xander nodded, going back to his scrubbing.

"Does that mean it had a point?" Jigen asked.

Lupin shrugged.  "I hope not.  The same as I'm hoping he's not ever going to become precognitive."

***

Xander stepped off the boat and saw Zenigata prominently waiting on them.  "Oh, shit," he said, hurrying over to the nearest trash can to get sick.

Zenigata looked at him, then at Lupin.  "What'd you do to him now?"

Lupin shook his head.  "Don't ask.  What are you doing here?"

"Dawn dragged me," he said bitterly.  "It seems you're still warrant free."

"Xander!  That's gross!" Dawn complained.  She hugged Lupin.  "His therapist said he had to deal with not arresting you so I had him escort me to see the baby.  You would not *believe* how much I had to whine, but it's this or drugs.  His therapist is really cutting- edge on making you deal with your mental problems."  She squealed and bounced over to the new parents, handing over an envelope.  "Baby!"

"Marcus," Fujiko said.  "Zenigata?"

"Therapy," she said with a smirk.  She peered back, squealing and running over to look at the new member of the team.  "Hi, baby!" she said happily.  She touched his cheek.  "How are you?  Are you a happy baby?" she cooed as she took him from Marcus.

"Put him down," Goemon demanded.  "He was asleep."

"He's still asleep," she defended.  But she did hand him back.  "Fine, be mean to me.  I bet Xander gets to hold him and he's sick."

"Not while he's sick," he assured her.

"Come over for dinner some night," Jigen told her.  "Alone."  He walked over to pat Xander on the back.  "Flashback to the nightmare?"  Xander started to get sick again.

"He had nightmares about me?" Zenigata asked, sounding and looking pleased.  "I guess I am scary."

Lupin smirked at him.  "He saw a vampire turn you both to have you as his playthings for eternity."

"Which one?" Dawn asked as she came over to give him a hug now that her real reason had been discharged.

"Spike."

She giggled.  "Yeah, that sounds like the blond poof."  She grinned at him.  "Can I come over this weekend to see the baby?"

"Sure, kid," Lupin agreed.  "Let him babysit the nephews."  She nodded.  Then she moved back to her position to control Zenigata.  Lupin shook his head.  "I didn't believe Xander. I guess I owe him a treat."  He pulled Xander up, walking him into the bathroom.  "You okay?"  Xander shook his head.  "Can you sleep in the car?"

"As long as Gramps goes away," he said hoarsely.  He bent over the sink to rinse out his mouth.

"We'll go right home.  You can sleep in the car," Lupin promised.

"Not if we've only got the Benz."

"True.  Then you can nap between the seats."  He gave him a gentle pat on the back.  "Hurry up."  He left him there, going out to find Zenigata and Dawn gone.  "How are we getting home?" he asked Jigen.

"Rental, then we'll dump it," Jigen decided.  "Car seat?"

"We have the carrier," Fujiko offered.  "Xander?"

"Flashback to a nightmare he had in Miami," Lupin told her.  "Marcus, car?"

"I took the train," Marcus admitted.  "I walked down as part of my daily exercise."  He took the baby back, patting him on the back gently to send him back to his nap.

"Let's do that," Jigen decided.  "We can cab back to the guardhouse."  Xander came out of the bathroom.  "Besides, it'll keep him near a bathroom."

"Let's stay in Paris tonight," Xander suggested quietly.  "We've got stuff we'll need to pick up."

"What stuff?" Jigen asked.

Xander looked at him.  "Car seat, in the Benz?"  Lupin groaned.  "There are no seat belts in the back.  She can't take him on the bikes or some cop will pull her over immediately.  Besides, we'd better pick up some extra diapers and formula, plus maybe some extra baby clothes."

"He's right," Lupin admitted.  "At least there are some tasteful modern cars."

"Including the updated version of the two-seater we can leave in the garage," Fujiko admitted.  "Pretty smart, kid.  Any other things Marcus forgot?" she asked as she and Goemon walked away.

"I hesitated to bring them up," Marcus defended.  "He loves his cars and I wasn't about to suggest a change."  He reached into the bag over his shoulder and pulled out a folder.  "Rated for safety, style, and distinctiveness.  You'll find three names are in the top five of all three lists.  One is a limited edition."

Lupin shook his head in bemusement.  "Fine.  Find us a place to stay for tonight."  He looked at the lists, showing it to Jigen.  "Nice taste."

"Seats six?" he smirked.  He grabbed most of their extra bags.  "How is the trunk?"

"Excellent," Marcus told him, following behind him.  "Twice the size of the bigger Benz and the back seat folds down."  He turned when he saw Xander go running.  "Dirt!"

Xander body slammed the stupid human trying to stick up Fujiko.  "Get up," he encouraged, waving him on.  The man whimpered.  "Fujiko, are you all right?"  She nodded.  He glared at the man, who made low vocal whining noises, like a dog about to be beaten.  "Lupin!"  He walked up to join them.  "Take her."  He was held back by Marcus.  "Oh, come on, let me have him!"

"I'm sure he's already sorry, Lavelle," Marcus soothed.

The thief on the floor groaned and started to cry.  "Why me!  The old guard was bad enough, but *Lavelle* too?" he wailed.  "What did I do to you, God!"  He got to his knees, begging posture firmly in place.  "Please don't kill me.  I'll leave the field.  I'll do anything if you don't sic Jigen or Lavelle on me.  Please, great Lupin?"

Fujiko gave Xander a confused look.  "Why are you scarier?"

"It's said that Lavelle reads souls and takes out those not destined to be great.  Even your greatest enemy fears him.  He has said so!  Lavelle is not only a great marksman, but also trained in the...," he looked around and lowered his voice, "in the occult."  He whimpered when Xander played with a strand of his silver hair.  "Please!  I will go straight.  Do not judge me!"

Jigen hauled him to his feet.  "Do that, kid.  Run away now, before we have to let him go."  The thief nodded and ran off, bouncing off a cop coming to see what the problem was.  The cop looked at him, ignoring the group as they moved on.  Jigen nudged Xander.  "What did you do to Pops?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know.  I'm thinking about yelling at him at the moment, but I didn't think I had scared him like that."

"Taunt him later," Lupin suggested.  The baby was taken by Xander to cuddle.  "Remember, no fighting while you're holding him."  He let the boy get ahead of him so the older group could share a look.

Marcus broke out in giggles.  "Him?" he laughed.  "More scary than Goemon?  I'll have to share that."  He jogged off, finding his mentor waiting outside.  "Someone's more scared of Xander than the rest of us," he laughed.

"Hmm."  He looked at Xander as he walked out of the terminal.  "Why?"

"Gramps," he said bitterly.  "The guy trying to rob your wife thought I was weeding out the lesser players."

Goemon looked back at his wife, who smiled and nodded.  "Where is this person?" he asked.

"He ran out in tears," Lupin smirked.  "He begged for his life.  On his knees. *Crying*."  Goemon cracked a smile.

Fujiko gave him a pat on the back.  "He was suitably chastised for coming near me."  He growled.  "He vowed to go straight so we wouldn't sic Xander on him."

"He should."  He looked at Xander. "Did he have our son?"

"No, Marcus did," Jigen told him as he caught up.

"Good."  Goemon looked at Xander.  "No violent actions while holding my son."

"I won't!" Xander defended.  "I wouldn't do that unless there was no other way."

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Lupin said calmly to break up any future hurt feelings.  He looked at his group.  "It was suggested we stay in town tonight."  Fujiko groaned.  "Or, we can rent a car or take the train," he offered.

Goemon shook his head.  "Rent a car.  The trains will be crowded. I would rather not expose the baby to that."

Jigen nodded, going to do that.  "Two fine?"  Everyone nodded.

Soon a rental agency minivan pulled up and parked in front of them.  "All of you?" he asked.  Lupin nodded.  "Do we have a car seat for the infant?"  Marcus held the carrier up and he winced.  "I don't think that's legal.  Will it buckle in?"  Fujiko shook her head.  "Hmm."  He looked at her.  "For now, put the baby in the back, center, position.  It should be safe enough."  They climbed in and he got in to drive.  "He's so tiny, how old is he?"

"He'll be two weeks tomorrow," Lupin said.

"Ah!  So you couldn't fly," the agent noted.  "Taking a ship must have been the best solution to get him home."  He made sure traffic was clear before pulling out.  He counted, six adults and one infant.  "What sort of vehicle are you needing?  We've got a mostly full lot right now."

"Something to get us home," Jigen told him.  "We'll bring it back to Marseilles."  Xander smiled at him.  "Yes, you can see the castle."  Xander wiggled, he had been wanting to go.  Lupin nudged him.  "Keep your elbows to yourself.  You're acting like you're Marcus' age."

"Speaking of Marks," Xander said dryly.  "He's back!  He's using the update being done to the ICPO's server as his Master's project and thesis."  Everyone groaned.  "Dawn thinks he's cute."

Jigen looked back at him.  "How did they meet?"

"Gramps," he said with a small smirk.  This was something Lupin hadn't thought about when he had let him into the house for those flirting lessons.  "He's an uncle in quotes according to her.  He idolizes the man."

"I knew he was going to be a problem," Jigen said bitterly.

Lupin nudged him again.  "Think of all we gained from it," he said quietly.  Jigen grunted but let it drop.  "Will we have to take a minivan?  It'll ruin my image if someone sees me in one."

The agent laughed.  "You could probably fit most of you into a sedan.  Four adults and the baby."  He stopped in front of a department store and looked back at him.  "We really will need you to get a real baby carseat, even if you bring it back later," he explained.  "It is the law and the company won't let me rent to you without you having one in the car.  Otherwise the police could fine us and you could sue us if something happened."

"I'll go," Fujiko said but her husband stopped her by getting out and heading inside.  "Don't get something ugly," she yelled after him.  "That should be my job."

"You'd take forever," Jigen reminded her.  "The poor thing would end up with flowers or something else traumatizing."  She reached back to swat him but he was next to the window.  He smirked at her.  "Temper, temper," he taunted.

"Children," Lupin said tiredly.  "When we get home, both of you go to your rooms."  They groaned and nodded.  "Good.  I hope the nursery is set up."  He looked up.  "Please?"  The rental agent chuckled lightly.  "It's been a long few weeks.  First the doctor died, then the baby came early.  Now this."

"It's clear you love each other," the agent assured him.  "After a long nap, everything should be fine.  My own wife and I have six children.  After finally getting to sleep, we were much happier with each other."

Fujiko looked back at Marcus. "Haven't you been sleeping?"  He nodded, smirking at her.  "Then why haven't I?"

"Because you won't let me keep him for more than a few hours," Marcus pointed out.  Goemon came out with six large bags.  "I think he did what Xander suggested.  He opened the door and took the bags to put into the back.  "Formula and diapers?" he asked.  The samurai groaned.  "We can get it in town," he promised.  "Get in.  We'll strap him in when we get the rental vehicle."

Goemon nodded, sitting his seat again.  Lupin gave him a pat.   "I am not used to this yet," Goemon told him.  "I am not sure I ever will be."

"You will be," Jigen promised. "Give it two years, when he's potty trained and we can bring him with us."  Goemon looked at him.  "No?" he asked with a grin.

"I want him to be safe," Goemon told him.  "Not running around with us."

Lupin laughed.  "That's fine.  We'll switch around."

Xander let the baby suck on his thumb.  "Did anyone make a bottle before we left the ship?"  Marcus dug in the diaper bag, coming up with one.  "Thanks, nanny man."  He fed the baby, weathering the hit to his arm. "You volunteered."

"Boys," Lupin said tiredly.  "You two are as bad as Jigen and Fujiko."

"Yes, dad," they said in unison, cracking each other up.

"Just for that, no allowance," Jigen told them, looking back at them.  "Behave."

"Yes, sir," Xander said, grinning at him.  What would Jigen do, spank him?

Lupin looked back at him.  "Behave or I'm chaining you to my bed tonight while I *read*."  Xander lost his grin, giving him his best pathetic look.  "Behave."  Xander nodded, hanging his head.  "Thank you."  He looked at Jigen, who groaned quietly.  "Home," he agreed.  "That way we can spread out again."

Xander raised his hand.  "If I'm going to be that trying, I could always track down the rumors that have apparently gotten started about me. I've never judged a soul in my life."

Jigen shook his head.  "No."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you," Lupin told him.  "We can trace it back through the usual networks."  He sighed in relief as they got to the rental agency, looking at the cars.  "Who are we bringing with us?" he asked Goemon.

"One of the boys," he suggested.  "Us."

"Most of the cars seat four adults and a baby," Jigen told him.

"That's as bad as that lifeboat exercise," Fujiko complained.  The guys looked at her.  "The one where you have to agree with a group what eight people in the world you want to save or everyone dies?"  They still looked clueless.  "I found it in a Poly Sci book of Xander's."

Xander nodded.  "It's to encourage cooperation and critical thinking about the traits you want to go on into the future of humanity.  I voted the pope off immediately."  The rental agent chuckled.  "Sorry, I'm not exactly a big fan of some of the things the Church stands for," he said with a shrug.  They got out of the car, him taking the baby for now.  "Like I said, I can stay. You've got Jigen with you guys.  I can even make sure Marcus gets on the train like a good boy."  Marcus glared at him.  "You should go home."

"I'll be fine to get myself on the train.  You want to go to the weapons museum that's just opened," he said dryly.

"It's open?" Xander asked, his face lighting up.  "Yeah, I wanna do that," he agreed.  "I'll come up on the train tomorrow.  Please, boss?" he begged.  "I'll be a good Xander while I'm in the city.  No drinking, no drugs, no whores."  Jigen looked at him.  "What?  I haven't had any recently," he defended.  "Some of us are desperate young people.  Have been since we were fifteen."  Jigen groaned and shook his head.  "Please?" he pleaded.  "I'll be good and check in later and everything.  That'll give you a chance to rest up for when I get back?" he asked with his best shit-eating grin.  "Please?" he leaned against Lupin's chest, making him sigh and nod as he stole the baby.  "Thank you.  Where did you stash my wallet?"

"Call Murami first," Lupin said firmly.  "She said you've managed to screw up everything recently.  She had a whole new set of cards for you and she is in town."  Xander nodded, bouncing off to do that.

"Xander, behave," Jigen called after him.  "Or else we will have to be stern and punish you," he ordered.  Xander looked at him, then nodded and jogged off.  "Well, that frees one spot," he said dryly.  "Fujiko still needs to rest, Goemon won't go anywhere without the baby.  Which one of us isn't heading?"

Lupin looked at him.  "I have things I could pick up in town," he admitted.

"Since both parents will be there, I can easily go back on the train in the morning," Marcus pointed out.  "I did cash my check from Xander's generous gambling."  Lupin looked at him and he nodded.  "He was most fair for me only doing a bit of research for him.  I have my credit cards with me as well."

"Fine," Lupin agreed.  "Be up on the first train tomorrow.  I'll pick you up personally.  I'll call people to bring you things and you can bring them up with you."  Marcus nodded.  "Thank you, Marcus.  If you run into Xander, be gentle with him."

"Of course.  I'm usually gentle with Xander."  He bowed before handing over his bags.  "If you wouldn't mind," he said with a grin.  "Xander left his?"

"I doubt he'll need it," Jigen sighed.  "Most of that is Sylvia's stuff anyway."  He walked over to sign for their car, as he always did.

Lupin looked after the boys, thinking this was probably a bad idea, but he did want to know where those rumors had come from.  That wasn't like Zenigata.  Xander *judging* souls?

***

Xander tapped on the office door, walking in at the unamused sounding grunt.  The smallish Japanese woman on the other side looked at him, her green eyes widening.   "Hi, Murami," he said, reaching across the desk to hug her.  "How's my favorite woman-type person?"

"I'd hope you realize that I am actually a woman?" she asked dryly, smiling at him.  He nodded.  "Good.  What can I do for you, Xander?"

"The boss ordered me to come see you so you can ream me for the problems we had getting out of Hong Kong and the problems I caused you," he admitted, standing at parade rest.  "So go ahead, I can handle anything except crossbow bolts to the stomach."

She chuckled, standing up to show that she was eight inches shorter than he was.  "I don't blame you for that, Xander.  That was bad luck the whole way around.  Lupin had some too."  She walked over to her wall safe.  "I know you'd never break into my safe," she said firmly, glancing back at him but he had turned around in a show of respect.  Hmm, he had learned very well from Lupin and Jigen.  She opened it and pulled out an envelope with his name on it.  "Here you are."  She handed them over. "All the ones you've let me have access to."  He opened his mouth. "I understand.  You're still slightly insecure," she agreed.  "It's safer to have some things that I don't know about, just in case the office gets raided."  He nodded, looking pitiful.  "Hey, it's smart.  Lupin does the same thing.  Dawn doesn't, but Lupin and Jigen both do.  Fujiko's spent most of her share over the years."  He grinned at her, looking up through the curtain of his hair. He did look adorable.  "Can I do anything else for you before we meet to go over the yearly statements next week?"  He shook his head.  "Good boy.  Behave in the city.  Don't get arrested or anything."

He leaned down, kissing her on the forehead.  "If I ever find a woman to like, I hope she's like you."  He smiled and walked out, stopping to send her some flowers and candy.  She deserved it. Then he went to the weapons museum.  He heard some whispering from some of the people in the room with him, but it was just 'is that him' stuff.  Nothing concrete about these new rumors.  Those he found out at dinner, when someone sat across from him.  "Hey," he said, nodding at the head of the local thieves.  "You wanted something?  Am I buying you dinner?  I didn't think I had asked you on a date."

The man laughed, sounding like a braying ass.  "No.  I've already eaten.  I heard you were in town.  Did you break with the group?"  Xander shook his head, eating another bite of steak.  He leaned closer.  "Are the rumors true?"

"What rumors?  The first I've heard of all this shit is from that guy at the airport who tried to stick up Fuji."  The man shuddered.  "It's amazing, Goemon was already outside.  He begged me to spare him.  Said I judge souls?"  The local boss nodded.  "Where did that come from?"

"Believe it or not, it came from the US.  From a few different spots.  The whole 'strangeness' stuff," he said with a shiver, "came from a few places on the east and west coast."  Xander nodded.  "The thing about judging souls, that came from Istanbul."

"How?  Damn it, I only met with the locals a few times.  I was very respectful."

The local boss shrugged.  "Who knows.  With your showing this year in the maze, anything is possible.  It should die down in a few years."  He smirked.  "So, is it true?"

"Is what true?" Xander asked, cutting another bite of steak and eating it.  He looked at him.  "Is what true?" he asked again as he chewed when he didn't get an answer.

"Is it true that you had to go through the maze a second time, after they added to the security?" he said flatly.  "It's said they had to make it two or three times harder than for the rest of us."

Xander coughed. "The things inside bowed to me.  They had to negate my taint before I could go through it again," he admitted quietly.  "It's still not something I wanted to be done to me."

"Still, you're the only one who survived singly, even at the easier level.  One of four who survived from duos and the others beat you by about five minutes on time.  Plus, your group was won by surviving and being fastest."  He cleared his throat and leaned back as the waiter came back to refill Xander's glass with wine.  "Thanks and all that."  The waiter looked at him.  "I'm fine, we're having a talk."  The waiter nodded and left them alone.  "So, are you?"

"Am I what?  Am I talented?  Am I tainted?  Yes."  He picked up his wine glass to look at it.  "I have no idea why people put so much stock in wine tasting and all that stuff.  It's pretty and it tastes good against the food."  The thief laughed.  "What did you really want to know?  I want to know everything that's being said about me.  So does my boss.  He's concerned to say the least."

"I heard amused, but concerned fits."  He leaned back, sneering at him.  "It's *said* that the new toy of Zenigata's is a plant of yours."

Xander shook his head.  "Dawn's a friend and former thief.  She trained with Lupin too. Next?"

"It's said that the reason the things bowed to you and they had to make the maze harder was your former friends and that you're probably the only person who's lived through that sort of thing."  Xander nodded.  "It's also said that you're very knowledgeable about such matters.  Enough that you've brought one of the stuffy Watcher bastards into the fold."

"Marcus brought himself.  The same person who betrayed me did it to him.  It was his father."

"Hmm."  He raised an eyebrow.  "It's said that you're Jigen's equal."  Xander shrugged.  "No comment?"

"Low self esteem about my skills," Xander informed him.  "He says I'm good."

He leaned forward.  "It's said you planned and carried out the Las Vegas thing by yourself.  It's also said that you've done other things by yourself.  Some hits, some problems.  Some magic."  Xander raised an eyebrow, looking amused.  "It's also being said by the most superstitious that you're bad luck for anyone your boss doesn't respect."

"That could be true, I haven't met many of them," Xander admitted.

"After you broke those pirates' hiding spot, they were caught.  After you broke the local bosses in Las Vegas, they were arrested and one committed suicide instead of going to jail.  After you broke out of LA's holding facility during that *convenient* earthquake the thieves in LA got suddenly religious.  It's said the ones here in Paris are leaving the field by the droves if they're not great already and don't feel they can become great because they think you'll take them out."

"I uphold my bosses standards on who should be in the life, but I'd never enforce them without having to," Xander said quietly.  "I'd never do that to the field.  Yes, I do believe it should only be the really good and those learning and who want to be great.  Them and the street level guys who rob little old ladies have their place.  The mediocre ones who are satisfied with only being able to kite a check I have no desire to work with.  Then again, I'd never do anything about it."  The thief slumped a little.  He took a sip of his wine.  "What else?"  He put down his glass and picked up his fork and knife, cutting off another piece of steak.

"It's said you've got major skills, man.  I want the truth."

Xander glanced at him as he cut the strip into smaller pieces.  "While I do have skills with weapons, and with some elements of the odd and unusual, I'm not as skilled as I would like to be."  The other thief looked stunned.  "I'm not looking to work alone.  I like my current boss.  He has me at his back with whatever he wants. Whenever he wants."

"That's the other thing," he said with a small sneer.  "It's said you're gay."

"I'm indiscriminate, get it right," Xander said firmly.  "Yes, I do happen to enjoy *certain* men, and *certain* women.  You're not one."  The thief gave him a nervous chuckle so he looked at him.  "Really, you're not.  You're more than safe from my lust.  Feel lucky."  The thief nodded quickly.  "Anything else?"

"I want warning if you're working in the city.  I run this city."

"Don Lucretza runs the city," Xander corrected.  "I already have an agreement with him about fair warning if I'm working in the city alone."  The man swallowed.  "It should filter down to you and your friends.  I hear he likes you."

"He likes your boss more," he said bitterly.

Xander grinned.  "Who wouldn't?  With my boss' track record?"  The man grimaced.  "I'd like to see you do what we did this last month."

"Did you share the Vegas thing with them?"

Xander nodded.  "Even though my boss said I didn't have to.  I respect him that way.  Consider me a hunter for his tribe.  A guardian of the pack.  Anything else?" he asked with a small smirk.  The man shook his head.  "Really?"

"Well, there are rumors about some...people going into an uncontrollable lust as soon as they see you."

"It's the silver hair," Xander said with a goofy grin.  "I've never understood that."  The man swallowed.  "Is it hitting you too?"  The thief nodded.  "You're still safe from my lust."  The thief swallowed.  "Do we have other business?"  He shook his head. "Then go take care of that before you injure yourself, Dominick.  Don't let me keep you.  I'm going to be here finishing this excellent meal and then have a long love affair with a sundae up the street.  I'll be heading back in the morning."

Dominick leaned forward again.  "There's something in town looking for you.  A dark man with dark hair.  It's said he's not human, that he's a hunter."

"Angel or Angelus?" he asked, sipping his wine.

"Angel.  Who is he?"

"Stay away from him.  He's a good guy with a mission to atone.  Leave him to me.  If you see him tonight, I'll be at Club Demented after my sundae."  Dominick nodded and left him alone, going to find something to take care of the hard on he had.  Xander chuckled and turned off the recorder he had worn.  He had figured someone would come up to him since he was in town. When he was done, he sent it back to Marcus' room with a message to give it to the boss, then he went for his sundae.  As he was digging in, a man sat across from him. "Angel," he said dryly.  "Want some?"  He waved the spoonful of ice cream and butterscotch sauce.  It had been forever since he had a banana split.

"I came to see you," Angel said bitterly.  "Cordelia said I had to."

"About?"  He ate that spoonful and dug out another one.

"About your life.  She's upset with you."

"Yay.  She hasn't been mine in a long time, Angel.  Besides, she could appear in front of me if she wanted to.  Now, what's the real reason you're in Paris?"  He looked at the stunned vampire.  He glanced behind him, waving his spoon at the spirit.  "Pull up a chair, Cordy."  She sat down in the chair he pushed out, giving him a pathetic look.  "Won't work, Cordy.  I've moved on and I'm happy."

"You're also important," she told him.  "We need you, Xander."

He gave a bitter laugh.  "Sure you do."  He glared at someone staring at them, then at her.  "You don't want me, you need me.  I have people who both want and need me.  Why would I give that up for the noble life of sacrifice?"

"And it's not what you're doing now?" she asked.  He shook his head, eating another bite.  "Are you really satisfied with this life?" she demanded.   He nodded, eating more of his sundae, this time getting some of the banana too.  He had one scoop gone.  "Xander, this isn't you."

He looked at her, smirking at her.  "Yes, it is.  It has been for a very long time, Cordelia.  The same as that's you.  We changed as we grew up.  Life made us different.  You quit caring about your shoes and I started to."  She looked shocked.  "I like my life," he reiterated.  "I like my life and everything in it, even though I don't particularly like my choker being broken at the moment."  She shuddered.  "Ah, that's what's bothering you."  He smirked.  "The guy thing started before we were dating, Cordy.  Before Buffy got to town."  Her mouth opened.  "Back when I was fifteen.  Nearly every weekend, even while we were together.  Oh, and Larry told me about you trying to 'help' him before the game."  He smirked.  "Anything else?"

"Xander, this isn't you," she complained.  "You're not like this!"

Angel nodded.  "She's right, you're not.  You never were before."

"Yes, let's talk about before," he said dryly, keeping the bitterness out of his voice.  Both of the white lighters swallowed. "Go away.  I'm happy and content.  I have been happy and content.  I'm doing what I love with people I adore and I couldn't be happier most of the time.  At least once I can talk my lover into getting me a kitten."  He smirked.  "Anything else?"  They shook their heads.  "Then head off.  I don't need this or you to complete me. I found solace in the quiet a long time ago.  Interestingly enough, it was Buffy who started that one.  If she hadn't sent me away back then and made sure that I'd stop Jack, then I might not be this way.  I had to learn to like my own company since no one else liked it.  At least they didn't before I found my mentor."  He looked at Angel.  "Now, unless you want us to come for a visit the next time we're in town, I'd fly back to LA tonight," he suggested.  He ate another bite of his ice cream, then left it there.  He had already paid.  He went to the hotel he had chosen for the night, heading to shower off the slime of their presence.  He came out and found Cordelia standing there.  "Don't make me shower off your taint again," he said bitterly.  "Go away."

"Fine.  I will.  But know this, the Powers have not forsaken you."

"Yeah, because they've been there for me," he said with an amused chuckle.  "Where were they when I died and it brought me back?"  Her face fell.  "The only higher powers I recognize are Janus, Jigen, and Lupin.  And occasionally Goemon.  Get it now?"  She nodded, disappearing.  He decided against a second shower, heading out to get dressed and go have fun instead.  It would salve the hurt better than anything short of being held by Jigen.  The club was a mass of writhing bodies, having virtual sex with people they didn't know on the dance floor to the trance music covering all the noises they could ever make.  He found his position and someone who gave him a smile as she turned to face him, bringing him into the mass of bodies.

***

Marcus looked up as his train compartment opened, raising an eyebrow at Xander.  "Did you not sleep?" he demanded.  Xander sat down, shaking his head and closing his eyes.  "What happened?"

"Cordy and Angel were in town," he said hoarsely.  "They wanted me back."  He let out a bitter laugh.  "If I fall asleep, make me get up when we get to town."  He popped his neck.  "I feel better."

"Good."  Marcus shifted over, holding him even though he was stiff.  "Xander, will you be fine?"

"Yup.  The Powers want me back," he said bitterly.  "Fucking yay.  I don't recognize their authority.  Go away, Marcus."

"Of course, Xander."  He moved back to his seat.  "I have the tape in my overnight bag.  Did you want my razor?"

"No thanks."  Xander slumped, turning to put his feet up.  "Just leave me alone.  Hum or something."

"Of course."  He hummed a quiet song while he read.  Xander didn't like noise, he understood that, but sometimes it was necessary.  The train lurched and they were off, speeding to the manor house.

***

Marcus handed over the tape, then gave Lupin a look.  "He got off the stop before this one," he admitted.  "He said something about going for a run."  Lupin winced.  "He'll be fine.  I'm sure of it."  Lupin nodded, letting him into the car.  If he was being honest, he might have expected something like this.  He got in to drive.  "Did we need to pick up anything for Ishi?"

"No, we're good with everything.  Goemon bought about fifty packs of diapers and a case of formula," he admitted dryly. "We'll have to deal with the clothes stuff next month."  He pulled out of the parking lot, heading back to the manor house.  "Why the stop before this one?"

"Something about a cave," Marcus said with a shrug.  "I don't know.  The tape is from his meeting last night with Dominick, the leader of the thieves in Paris."

Lupin put the adapter into the radio, then stuck the smaller tape into the adapter.  He listened to the meeting, grimacing at the new information.  "Interesting.  Anything else happen?"

"Angel and Cordelia showed up last night," Marcus said quietly.  The car stopped and Lupin looked at him.  "He said they came on behalf of the Powers.  They want him back."  Someone honked as they went around them.  "He turned them down of course."

"Of course."  He got them moving in a forward manner again, frowning as he thought.  "Why?"

"I don't know," Marcus admitted.  "He said the Powers wanted him back and he told them he doesn't recognize their authority any longer."  Lupin nodded.  "I would have killed to have pictures of their faces when Xander turned them down."  He got a pat on the arm for that.  "Will he be fine?"

"Perfectly fine," Lupin agreed.  "What cave was in the last town?"  He hit the number on the car phone for the house.  Jigen grunted as he answered it.  "What cave is in the last town?  The stop before ours?  Xander said he was heading there."

"There's that tomb," Jigen offered.  "Something from the crusades I think but that's supposed to be a myth."  He grunted something at someone else in the room.  "Goemon said it's real but he's not sure where it is.  Why did Xander get off there?"

"Cordelia and Angel were in town last night," Marcus shared.  "They wanted him back.  He came onto the train this morning looking like he had danced all night. Unshaven, messy hair, tired eyes and slumped body.  He took a short nap then suddenly sat up and got off at the stop before ours."

Jigen's 'what' wasn't directed at them, but back at Goemon.  Then he came back, talking into the phone.  "Goemon thinks it's on this side of the town, not on the other side. He did say there could be more than one though.  Do we need to go hunting the Xander?"

"No, he'll be fine.  He did meet with Dominick," Lupin told him.  He rewound the tape and played it for them, hearing the chuckles.  They were on speaker now, that had been Fujiko.  "They reset the maze?"

"They did.  That's why we came in second.  The other team had a five minute lead because their's was easier," Jigen shared.  "They left it at the normal level for the group because the register said we concealed his taint."  Goemon muttered something.  "Goemon said it was him."

"It's possible," Lupin agreed.  "Thanks, Jigen."  He hung up and erased the tape, handing it back to Marcus.  "Now that we know," he said dryly.  "Holy relics from the Crusades around here and Grandfather didn't steal it?"

"Your father had some respect for the Church probably," Marcus told him.  "Xander holds no such respect."  Lupin nodded, accepting that. "What could be in there?"

"Who knows."  He shrugged, pulling through the open gates.  They closed behind him and he continued up to the house.  Once there, he let Marcus out then went to park the car.  He walked into the house, taking the baby from its father to hold him.  Ishi helped him think almost as good as Xander did.  He walked into the office and found Xander sitting there, feet up on the desk.  "That was quick.  You found it already?"  Xander tossed over something, making him catch it, and he noticed the evil looking smirk on his face.  "What's this?"

"A slave bracelet," he said, standing up.  "That will remove the free will of whomever wears it," he explained, getting out of the way.  Lupin sat behind his desk, looking at it.  "The other stuff I found is in the dining room on the table.  Marcus, I found your sword."  He hurried that way.  "I want that destroyed," Xander told him.  "That and the fucking Grail."  He walked away.

"Grail?" Lupin yelled after him.  He started to stand up but his foot hit something metal, making him look down.  "What are you?" he whispered as he picked it up.  "Holy shit.  XANDER!"

"It's not the real one.  It was the blessed Challis the Church had made in the first century," he called back.  "It can heal the sick, but only if they're holy and pure."  He came back in.  "And no, I don't mean children.  I mean nuns who came in virginal and never got touched, never had a thought, never saw a picture, nothing."  Lupin looked stunned.  "It's pretty useless in today's society, don'tcha think?"  Lupin nodded, tossing it to him.  "Thanks.  What about the bracelet?"

"I'll have it destroyed," Lupin promised.  "I'll have the stones destroyed too."  Xander nodded.  "Label that and have Jigen put it downstairs.  Just in case it comes in handy sometime."  Xander nodded, leaving him alone.  Lupin looked down at the baby.  "Wow.  You're very lucky.  I thought the advice to never work with kids and animals would extend to us but you are one lucky little guy," he said, tickling his stomach.  Ishi wiggled for him, making him smile.  "You're a good little guy.  Now, how should we reward Xander for such good things?  Hmm?"  He picked up the bracelet and walked it down to the incinerator.  At the very least, it would melt the metal and destroy some of the stones. The others could be destroyed by a hammer or something. He gave it a look, then decided Xander was right.  It was too dangerous to leave in existence.  He tossed it in with a sigh.  "That could have come in handy."  He walked up to get Goemon to make sure it was fully destroyed.  He could trust him.  He walked into the dining room, ducking the swing from Marcus.  "Hey!  Baby!"  Marcus stopped, going pale.  "Outside.  No sword play in the house.  Goemon knows better.  Goemon, before you do that I tossed something into the incinerator.  It's too dangerous to leave capable of being used.  Make sure it's fully destroyed."  He nodded, going to do that.  "By yourself," he called after him, making Ishi start and fuss.  "Sorry, little guy."  He came over to look at the stuff.  "Stolen stuff from where?"

"Probably from Istanbul or Jerusalem," Jigen offered.  He took the baby so Lupin could examine some stuff.  "Xander appeared with the pile.  He took a book for himself."  Lupin looked at him.  "Yes, that sort of book," he said dryly.  "I'm not sure I want Marcus to see it."

"The day gets more and more interesting all the time," Lupin told him.  "He had me destroy something that could take away free will."  Jigen's face hardened.  "That's what I threw into the incinerator.  The challis?"

"In the big vault downstairs and labeled.   No one's that pure anymore."

"It could still happen," Lupin reminded him.  "In some backwoods country maybe.  If not, maybe they'd like it back."  He smirked.  "That would give Pops another heart attack."

"Yeah.  Yeah, it probably would," Jigen agreed, smirking back.  "Marcus has a sword that he says talks to him.  That's what happened to the chair.  He swears he'll fix it."

"He will or I'll spank him," Lupin agreed.  "What else did Xander take?"

"One small bag," Jigen said, opening the trunk it had come from.  The jewels sparkled up at them.  "He said it was his version of fair share.  He already had it out before he came back. That's all he took unless he had something in his pockets."

Something got tossed in as Xander walked past the doorway.  "Don't need that," he announced.  "Have fun with it."

"Xander!" they yelled.  He came back, giving them a look.

"What did you take?" Lupin asked.

"A book on elemental demons and their uses in warfare, not a magic book.  The teleporting thing was something Ethan wanted me to learn.  It takes a shitload of energy so I can't use it all the time."  He shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.  "That and a small bag of jewels.  Some very pretty dark red rubies and a few sapphires.  One emerald.  The diamonds didn't really speak to me.  Why?"

"Just wondering.  You're probably entitled to more than that," Lupin pointed out.

Xander patted himself down, then pulled out a purple stone. "I got this too but I'm not sure if it's worth anything.  I was going to ask you later."  He handed it over as his boss looked at it.  "It looks like a diamond but it's softer when I did the Moh's scale for hardness."

"These are pretty rare, they're called low atmosphere diamonds," Lupin told him.  "Most of them are hardened artificially these days."  He tossed it back.  "It's not worth that much."

"I just liked the color," Xander admitted with a grin. "Can I have a kitten?"

"Isn't the baby enough for you?"

"No, I want something fuzzy to cuddle.  I realize I'm not going to be the one the baby likes to go to for comfort."  He waved at the baby. "Hi, Ishi."  The baby grunted at him. "I'll take care of it and everything."

"Xander, we travel a lot to have a pet," Lupin reminded him.  "You'd almost never see it and traveling with the pet is even worse."

Xander sighed.  "I know, but I wanted something to cuddle now and then."  He shrugged again and continued on his way to the kitchen for some milk.  "Hey," he said, taking the sword from Marcus.  "Take it outside," he said firmly.  "Before I get Ethan to finish removing that possession of yours."  Marcus nodded and hurried outside with it.  "Thank you."  He found the milk and sniffed it to make sure it wasn't formula.  It was real milk so he found a glass that looked a lot like a vase to pour it into, taking it back to his room to read his new book.  It was fascinating.  He hadn't thought of using ice demons in the desert to promote a panic in a population.  He found another book on his bed and smiled.  "Sun Tzu, The Art of War," he read.  "Cool.  I've been meaning to pull this from the bookcase."  He laid down to read, sipping his milk slowly while he did so.  This was formal education he could appreciate.

***

Goemon knocked on Xander's door three days later, walking in at his grunt.  "Dinner," he announced.

"Busy.  I'll make a sandwich later," he said absently, tracing his finger over the archaic English he had read so many times back in Sunnydale.

"That is not acceptable.  Lupin said you had to join us tonight."  Xander shrugged.  Goemon sighed.  "He said I could carry you if I had to."

"I'll be fine.  Tell him I said thanks for The Art of War."

"That was me," he admitted.  Xander glanced back at him.  "Did you enjoy it?"  Xander nodded, grinning at him.  "Good.  I thought you might like the theology behind it.  Now come to dinner."  Xander rolled his eyes.  "He meant it."

"Fine."  He looked at his book.  "Let me finish this paragraph."  He went back to his finger tracing.  He found himself picked up and squeaked.  "Hey!  Not liking you like that!"  He was spanked and flung over a shoulder.  "Fine, I'll come eat now," he said.  He still wasn't put down.  "I'll be good.  I'll even make it to practice today."

"You will do that anyway," Goemon reminded him.  "You never miss practice with us."  He walked into the dining room and set Xander back on his feet.  "He was reading his new book."

"It's fascinating.  They were talking about using plant demons to suck up the well under a small town near Jerusalem," Xander told them.  "That's how they broke the standoff."

"Interesting," Goemon told him.  "I would appreciate looking at it after you are done."  Xander nodded, grinning at him.  "He liked The Art of War also," he announced.

"Horribly boring," Fujiko said with a shudder.  "I had a mark who quoted that at me."

Lupin smirked at her.  "You did have some bad taste in marks," he reminded her.  He looked at Xander.  "You missed tea."

"That's okay, I'm still not hungry."

"Eat," Jigen ordered, handing him the bowl of broccoli.  "Before I force feed you tofu."

"I still need a new bracelet," Xander said dryly, taking food for himself.  He could eat now instead of later, when he was done reading.  "There's all sorts of neat stuff in there.  Did you know the Arabic panic about women being seductresses was because of some succubi who were haunting the area back then?  That whole 'no skin showing' thing came from that according to the book."

"That may be debatable," Goemon pointed out.

"Well, yeah, it's a bit biased against anything Arabic and the demonic is to be used and then killed," Xander agreed.  "There's some worse bias shown in there, especially against women.  My modern mind is horrified about what the author tells about some of the atrocities he helped visit on the people back then.  But it's long past and still a fascinating account of a megalomaniac with a little bit of power and the will to rule the world as God."

Lupin looked at him.  "Learning profiling now?"  Xander shook his head, grimacing.  "You're sure?"

"I'm sure.  I'm still on tax accounting and advanced Russian, with a long struggle against Japanese beyond the kindergarten level."

"I can help you with that," Fujiko offered.  "I do speak it."  Xander grinned at her.  "Eat."

"Fine."  Xander dug into his broccoli and felt his foot be nudged.  He took the plate of meatloaf and took some of that too. "Thanks," he said, grinning at his boss. "So, what's happened while I got sucked into my book?"

"We were starting to get worried about you," Goemon told him.  "You did not seem to move from your room for days."

"I did so.  I went out and did my nightly katas. I ate a sandwich before I did that.  I came out for my other practices.  I thought we were on break," he said, looking confused.  "Am I missing meetings?"  Lupin shook his head.  "Then what's wrong?"

"We haven't seen you, heard you, or watched you bounce for days," Jigen told him. "We were worried you were possessed again."

Xander giggled.  "Not hardly.  That would be really hard to do now."  He grinned.  "I'm fine, just interested.  Oh, do we have any graph paper or spare accounting style paper around here or should I go into the city to buy a few ledgers?"

"You could order them," Lupin told him.

"No, I can't," Xander sighed.  "The place forwarding our stuff in Cairo got busted yesterday.  I'm expecting the rest of my stuff from storage in the next few days, it was their last shipment.  They sent off everything with the minor couriers while the cops there busted the big guys.  There was also a fire in the warehouse so the records were destroyed.  I'll have to find a new criminal shipping place."

"They were criminal?" Jigen asked.

Xander nodded.  "Paranormal crooks."  He winked.  "Teleporters, mental fire starters, people like that.  Very anti-Watcher and very useful.  I have no idea what they're going to do now that their home guild is gone."  He cut into his meatloaf, stuffing his mouth.  "They wanted me but I turned them down, we made a pact to support each other," Xander said between bites.

"Slow down and expand that," Fujiko suggested, staring at the boy when he looked at her.  "Please," she ordered nicely.

He shrugged and put down the fork.  "The guild has been around since about 700 BC.  They've always been on the lookout for people who are skilled and can turn to the life of crime.  There have been some very important seconds-in-command that have come out of that organization.  They like to be those who support the power so they're never exposed.  They came to me right after I released Jigen and while he was healing.  It was the person who healed your leg," he told him, getting a nod that the person was remembered.  "She handed me a letter on how to contact them. Dangerous yes, but I wanted to know what they wanted with me.  They wanted me to join them and train the gifts I now bore.  I was still fairly squeamish back then if you remember."

"The woman in the dry cleaning shop?" Jigen asked.

"That was their second contact," Xander told him.  "The first was the fitter who had the problems getting me into the jacket.  He's the second-in-command in Vegas.  He's the empath who supports the local Don there as his personal assistant."  Lupin suddenly smiled, apparently he had met that one.  "They accepted that I wouldn't train my things at that time but they were kinda scared because they had been exposed.  Usually they would have just kidnaped me and I would have woken up looking at my new mentor.  So we made an agreement.  I wouldn't out them while they existed to people who didn't know, which you're not anyway, and they wouldn't work against me.  The shipping thing was extra and something I thought might be necessary considering the business I had stepped into."  He grinned.  "See, good me."  He dug in again.  He was really hungry today.  Maybe he hadn't eaten breakfast.

"Very good you," Fujiko agreed, looking at Lupin.  "You knew about them?"  He nodded.  "Did Dawn?"

"They trained her to break and enter," Xander said between bites.  "Basically a knowledge transfer."  He scraped his plate and reached for more, seeing the tolerant looks.  "Sorry, should I wait?"

"No, eat," Lupin encouraged.  "Is there anything else like that?  Something else you've neglected to tell us?"  Xander swallowed and twirled his fork.  "Confess and I'll give you ice cream."  The boy drooled.  "With chocolate sauce."

"Well, um, the reason I'm learning Russian is because of their students just had a daughter and they said they think she'll be going toward my skills and they wanted me to consider teaching her when she's old enough.  She's two right now though so it's not really a current problem, more of a future problem because I'd never train her before she's legal to make her own decisions.  Even if I took her at sixteen, that's fourteen years from now and I didn't think anyone would mind by then," he said quickly in a single breath.

Lupin frowned, looking at Jigen.  "Did you understand that?  I'm not as skilled at Xanderbabble as I should be."

Jigen nodded.  "They offered him a student in fourteen or so years if she's like him.  That's why he's learning Russian.  She's two."  He looked at his student.  "By then you should be good enough to pass on your skills."  Xander swallowed.  "What?"

He laughed nervously.  "The guild said I'm the most skilled of all of us that they've ever seen.  None of them have ever been gunmen like me or like you.  Apparently we don't get that good."  Jigen nodded.  "That's why I was asked to consider it."

"Good enough reason.  If she's not expected to be that great then it's not a problem."

"Are they hoping to make her into an assassin?" Goemon asked.  Xander nodded, digging into the potatoes to get himself some more.  "Take my helping, I have no desire for that tonight." Xander grinned and did so, taking half the bowl for his plate. "What will you be teaching her?"

"Just the shooting," he assured him.  "Nothing else.  Anything else she needs she'll be getting from them.  Psychic assassination and all that would have to come from them.  I'm just a gunmen to them."

"You're damn well more than that," Lupin told him firmly.

"Oh, I know, but that's the skill they consider my best to them.  Otherwise, they've got people to cover everything else.  Apparently none of them have studied how to shoot that well."  He shrugged and dug into his messy pile of food, eating heartily.  "Maybe I did forget breakfast."

"You didn't make yourself a sandwich last night either," Jigen told him.  "Just the shooting?"  Xander nodded, eating faster.  "Slow down before you choke," he said patiently.  "You're probably good enough to teach that right now.  Not the higher skills, but how to shoot and that sort of thing."  Xander looked up, giving him the most worshipful look again.  It was the second one he had been given and it made him have the third case of warm-fuzzies in his life.  "Thanks, kid."

"Thank you," he said, grinning at him.  He took another bite, slower this time.  "You really think so?"  Everyone nodded.  "Wow.  Cool."  He beamed.  "Lupin, can you look over my accounting problem?  I know I've fucked up somewhere and I can't find the five cents I screwed up by.  I'm hoping a new set of eyes will find it."

"Sure, bring it down later.  I only understand a little accounting but I can help," he agreed.  "Need any other help?"

"I need help with my Japanese.  That and my accents suck in all my languages to my own ear.  My Arabic is better with all the time we spent there, but I still suck."

"We'll practice," Lupin promised.  "You know Murami's coming over next week?"  Xander nodded.  "Will she be meeting with you?"

"Yeah.  She's got seven of my nine accounts," Xander told him.  Fujiko dropped her fork, staring at him.  "A few are kinda small.  I've got my comic shopping account.  It's only got a few thousand in it.  Then I've got my clothes shopping one.  Again, a few thousand, I think nine or ten."  He blinked a few times.  "My retirement account.  My drawing account so I have money to spend for emergencies.  My emergency fund, which she doesn't have but it's Swiss.  My other Swiss one, that's from something I stole back when Jigen told me to go away for a month.  I feel a little guilty about it so I left it alone.  It was supposed to be a holy relic and the demon *offered* it to me in return for me leaving without harming him and showed me the way into the cave so I kinda left him alone."  He blinked again while he thought.  "The rest are pretty much just a way to keep the other accounts from overflowing."  He went back to his eating.  "Hey, Fujiko, do you know anything about Anime?" he asked her.  "I've been meaning to start working on my anime DVD's without the subtitles and I'm not sure I'm getting some of them right since I got one that said 'the dog does bay at the moon so it can pee' earlier."

"I'll try," she offered.  "Was there even a dog?"

Xander shook his head.  "It was some holy man who said it to a warrior.  I have no idea if that's normal or right."

"Depending on the holy man," Goemon offered dryly, starting to chuckle.  "I've gotten such information before."

"Wasn't yours something about laughter being the greatest present?" Jigen asked.  Goemon nodded, smiling.  "Need me for anything, Xander?"

"Always," he said instantly, looking hurt.

Jigen relented.  "I meant for the new stuff you're learning."

"Oh.  Well, do you know accounting?" Jigen shook his head.  "Nothing?"  Jigen shook his head.  "Then can you help me weed out my closets for a charity in Paris that needs clothes?"

"Sure," he agreed.  "What is in those trunks?"  Xander blushed and dug into his food again, his hair covering his face.  "Xander?"

"My comic collection is in one," Xander admitted.  "The second is, um, my, ah, sex toys?" he said, making it sound like a question.  Goemon looked at him.  "That one's under the bed.  Not the one you were perched on the other day," he promised.

"Then what's in the two at the foot of your bed?" Lupin asked.

"Special outfits I wanted to save.  My first suit that Jigen got me.  Things like that."  He went back to eating, embarrassed beyond belief.

"Make sure my son does not open that one until he is old enough to bother you to teach him how to use them," Goemon told him.  Xander choked, giving him a shocked look.  He smirked.  "What?  I do not expect the little one to come to *me*.  The others will be older then and you are the most sexual creature I know of."

Xander got himself calmed down again.  "Okay," he agreed, nodding, eyes still wide as they watered.  "If he comes to me, I'll make sure he's very careful and knowledgeable."

"Thank you," Goemon said, smiling at him.  "That would be helpful. Any future children as well."  Fujiko gave him a look.  "If you relent of course," he said smugly.  She had been missing being pampered, it wouldn't be long.

"Speaking of, Fujiko, are you feeling all right?  You're not eating," Jigen taunted, smirking at her.  She shrieked and hit him, making him fall to get away from her.

"Hey, mine," Xander protested.  "No beating the Master.  Marcus can't beat Goemon for you, you can't beat mine."

"Fine," she said, glaring at Jigen.  "I'll get you when your watch-bitch isn't around," she sneered.

"Technically, I don't have my choker back yet," Xander reminded her.  "Not a bitch today, sweetie.  Just little old Xander.  Who apparently scares the fuck out of most of Paris' underground."  Lupin chuckled, nodding.  "Why?"

"Because you're a scary guy," Jigen told him.  "It's like how you can't see why people pant after your ass, like Dominick did."  Xander relented, apparently that made sense to him.  "Should we institute a monthly pregnancy test?" he asked Goemon.

"No!" Fujiko said angrily.  "I can stab you before he can stop me."

"I can shoot you before you make it out of your chair," Xander reminded her, "and I can do it with only a wound that'll make your husband pamper and spoil you again."  They locked gazes and she backed down.  "Thank you."  He went back to shoveling food into his mouth.  "Where's Marcus?"

"Asleep," Lupin told him.  "Take his portion too if you're hungry, Xander."  Xander added some more meatloaf, breaking it into his potatoes.

"Did you eat like this as a teenager?" Fujiko demanded.  He paused, thinking about it, then shook his head, going back to eating.

"I doubt he had the opportunity," Lupin told her.

"My mother couldn't cook to save her life, we had take out when we ate more than sandwiches," Xander told her.  "Take out is not filling.  No matter what anyone says.  And yet, I still managed to end up six-two and about a hundred-eighty pounds of muscle.  It's amazing."

"More like the carpentry you used to do," Jigen pointed out.  Xander nodded, scraping his plate.  "Can you wait for the rest of us or are you going to go rape the freezer for the ice cream."

"I'd never *rape* a freezer," he said with a small grin.  "I'm sure I could make it give it up with a little sweet talking and some soft stroking of the handle.  Others have."  Lupin choked this time. "Sorry, boss."

"No, that's okay," he wheezed.

"How experienced were you?" Fujiko asked.

Xander looked up, then stuck his tongue out.  Then he shook his head and looked at her.  "If I told you, you'd probably lose all respect for me," he told her.  Her jaw dropped open.  "Mostly from the top, dear, but yeah, Xander was a slut when he was younger."

"I thought you didn't lose your cherry until you were seventeen," Jigen told him.

"Eighteenth birthday and that was to a woman," Xander told him matter-of-factly.  "To a man at fifteen.  I topped most of my life after that.  Faith confused the hell out of me."  He grinned.  "What did you think I did when I left the town every few weekends?"

"I didn't get that much information on your past," Lupin admitted.  "Xander?"  He looked at him.  "I thought you were a bottom."

He thought for a second, deciding how to phrase it without sounding mushy.  "Only to those that I consider good enough to hold that position over me," he shared, standing up.  "Since I'm done, I should probably go work out.  I want to see if our peeper's back."  He strolled out.  "I'll get the ice cream later," he called back.

"So, what, he only goes on his back for 'special people'?" Fujiko snorted.  Jigen looked at her, then nodded.  "Really?" she asked.  He nodded again.  "Prove it."

"I know the last guy he went on his back for," Jigen admitted.  "Larry.  Back in high school."  Lupin looked stunned.  "I asked him one night while we were drinking heavily. He said that was more of a teaching position."  He ate a piece of meatloaf, picking up his beer to sip.  "It's dry again," he noted.  Lupin hit him on the arm, making him grin.  "Sorry.  It is."

"Then you can cook tomorrow night."

"Pizza all right with everyone?" Jigen asked.  Goemon laughed.  "What? I can dial as well as his parents ever did."  He heard a muffled gunshot.  "I guess he's on the range and forgot to close the door."

"I'm surprised he still does practice with as often as he gets to fire in real life," Fujiko said.

"Practice is necessary, even if you are using some of your skills every day," Goemon told her.  "You cannot possibly use all your skills every day and practice keeps them from going stale until you need them.  I do much the same."

"So do I," Jigen admitted.  "I do mine once a week now."  Goemon nodded, he did a full set of routines once a week as well.

"I think Xander's still doing his twice a week," Lupin admitted.  "How did you teach him to ricochet a bullet?  I thought his depth perception would have been shot."

"It is, but we found one guy bothering his woman.  It made him want to master it faster," Jigen said smugly.  "Second shot.  First one went into the building.  Got it right across the future rapist's balls."  Lupin shuddered.  "Only grazed him.  The guy screamed and ran off.  The woman looked around, scared stupid, but nothing happened so she went home.  No one reported the incident.  We were in Cleveland, the second night while you were working."

"Wow," Lupin said, shaking his head.  "I never would have considered teaching him that."

"Why is his depth perception shot?" Goemon asked.  Lupin shook his head.  "You cannot tell?"

"Not without Xander's permission," Jigen admitted.  "I didn't even know until we ran to Sunnydale.  He had eye dominance before," he told Lupin.  "That's how he's doing it."

"Good.  I'm happy for him," Lupin agreed.

Fujiko wiped her mouth and put her napkin into her lap again.  "Is this why one of his eyes is slightly different in color?" Jigen nodded.  "Why?  Is he blind in that side?"

Goemon sat up straight.  "I heard him.  That person with the nails."  Lupin nodded.  "I had forgotten.  That is impressive.  I had not thought to test him that way.  I will have to, to make sure he is fully capable of overcoming it."

"Keeping things from me makes me go hunting them," Fujiko reminded them.

"Tell her," Xander called.  "If she uses it against me, I'm staking her in the garden naked covered in bug bait."  He walked past the doorway.  "Our peeper is back.  I'm going to pay a visit tonight to get him to stop.  Anyone disagree?"  Everyone shook their heads, watching him walk away.  "Goemon, please don't," he called as he walked away.  "I'm still very insecure about that."

They heard his feet going up the stairs. Lupin looked at Fujiko.  "Way back when, when Sunnydale was still a town, something popped one of his eyeballs.  The off-color one is glass," he said quietly.  "And I agree, do not use that against him."  She looked shocked.  "You didn't notice his occasional run into the doorways?"

"His preference for sitting on a certain side of the tv?" Jigen offered.

She shook her head.  "No, I hadn't," she admitted.  "He's had it all this time?"  The guys all nodded.  "Doesn't it need removed and cleaned? Or even checked over now and then?"

"He said he's got some pain in it," Jigen told her.  "He probably should have it examined.  He doesn't want to.  He's very stubborn sometimes."  He listened, Xander was back outside by the noise; he must have gone down the back stairs.  "What happened to his back at the prison?"

"I'm hoping it was either sympathy pain or simple muscle strain.  Did he have it in LA?" Lupin asked Goemon, who shrugged.  "Fine.  Then it was probably simple muscle strain.  Nothing we should worry about."  Jigen nodded, going back to his dinner.  "Has anyone figured out why Pops likes him?" Lupin asked out of the blue.  "He never would have worked with us to save Dawn.  He would have allowed himself to be shot first."

Goemon coughed.  "I believe he has been doing some checking into the boy's past.  While we were in Hong Kong, he was awake while tied up on the floor in the hotel room.  Xander told the doctor that he had been tortured, that was why he did not like to see others in pain."

"Oh, great, so Pops wants him to go straight so he can be healed?" Jigen asked, looking sickened.  "He wants to reform him with love and kindness?"

Lupin shrugged.  "I doubt he'd go for it.  He did tell Zenigata that he was the reason he had learned languages.  To get past him."  Jigen nodded, he had heard that one before.  "Are we going to lose him to Zenigata?"

"Hell no," Fujiko said derisively.  "He's thanking him, not wanting to bear his kids.  If either of you asked him, he would do that for you.  If Zenigata asked him, he'd arrange to have him committed."

"I also see respect for someone at the top of his field," Goemon offered.  "It is kind to respect one's enemies if they are worthy.  In this case, he is sometimes."

Lupin nodded.  "Good.  I'd hate to have to kill Pops for touching him."

"I wouldn't," Jigen offered.  "Let him steal Xander."  Everyone looked at him.  "Things are going smoothly again, right?"  They nodded.  "Is that us or the extra hands?"

"The extra hands," Fujiko admitted.  "Having Xander here as a balance against you two has freed you both to be more devious and clever with things.  He can plan but he does defer.  He can and does shoot, letting you take out the more important targets.  As a second generation, he'll grow into the image.  Very easily."

Lupin smirked at her.  "Half of the European underground is scared of him," he informed them.  "I asked around with some of Dolune's old people and they're scared shitless of Xander.  They said if I can control him, they respect us even more.  The very fact that we have Xander working with us, that he's in control, and that he defers to us is amazing to them.  They expected Xander to come in and take over in the shooters when he left Jigen's care.  They expected it last year."  Jigen nodded, he had heard some of that.  "The maze proved their worst fears were being contained, by us.  I've been sent information and *requests* for jobs recently from sources that never would have talked to me before.  We've had Russians contact us to steal stuff back."  Fujiko looked impressed.  "So yeah, Xander is more than worth the early insecurity.  Every bit of it and then some.  I haven't been this clear headed in years."

"He is like a big comfort snuggle," Goemon agreed.  "For both of you."

"He's not exactly built like a teddy bear," Jigen said, giving him a look.  "But you're right.  He wears out our excess energy so we have to plan for the explosive situations.  I had no idea how to get us out of that prison."

"I had an idea to take it over, if the opportunity came," Lupin admitted.  "I wasn't sure it would."  Fujiko shuddered, and her husband pulled her closer to comfort her.  "He was what we needed.  He does a lot of that."  They all nodded.  Xander was a very good investment, the same way Marcus would be some day.

"Thinking about it, we have as much power now as some of the medium crime syndicates," Jigen pointed out.  "Before, we were a family unto ourselves.  Now we can take some of the families over."  That got some laughter.  "Seriously.  When we were in Greece, none of the families approached us.  That's never happened when we've been down there."

Lupin sipped his water.  "You're right.  No one came to see if we wanted to do anything.  It was like they assumed we would take out the pirates."  That was something that would have been suggested to keep them out of the families' hair and away from their things.  "Xander has a mutual like agreement with the new Don in Istanbul.  The ones in Greece didn't approach him to test him.  They did that to us for years.  The Russians haven't come to test him like they did us either."  He grimaced.  "Is this him or his friends out of Cairo?"

"Before the maze he was 'Jigen's student'," Fujiko said, doing the finger quotes.  "Few people knew who Lavelle was.  Then Zenigata had a news conference on him in Cleveland.  He made it into the press.  Before anyone could jump up to test him, the maze happened.  Then he was 'Lavelle' in big, bold lights."

"Hence the groupie," Goemon agreed.

Lupin nodded.  "True.  By taking him under our wing, we've let him get past a bunch of the lower level bullshit that we had to go through.  It jumped his reputation ahead by years."

"And he has done some things on his own," Jigen reminded him gently.  "They know he's capable.  What was that crack about dancing on the table?"

"I haven't been able to get a copy of that tape yet," Lupin admitted.  "I think it was the distraction for the Vegas job."  He grinned.  "Apparently it's rather inflammatory or interesting.  There are no departments that have auctioned off copies."  They looked impressed.

"How did he hit a casino?" Fujiko asked.  "Then stayed in town for two days?"

"The CSI did question him," Jigen told her.  "I asked.  He said they did.  She said she did a sentimental turn on the pole and they figured out she had the same moves.  But nothing else matched."  He grinned.  "She wore a silver wig of her own hair."  That got some muted giggling from Lupin.  "She changed her shape so they couldn't tell.  She was pretty naked at both times, no hidden padding.  No recent surgery marks.  Nothing that would point to her."

"It's got to be causing conniptions in Vegas," Lupin said with a small smirk.  Everyone nodded.  That was the best part of the job, watching people go nuts figuring out how they had done things.

***

Xander was keeping an eye on the roof across the gardens and lawn for his peeper while he worked out.  He saw a window open and snuck out of the garden and across the lawns, going over the separating wall between the two manors then through their woods and across their lawn.  There was a nice tree next to the house that would give him access to the roof behind Mark and wouldn't force him to try and sneak through the house with the ICPO's top three cops and their head of computer operations in it.  He shimmied up the tree, landing quietly on the roof.  He strolled over, smirking when Mark winced.  "Hey," he said quietly, sitting next to him.  "What are you doing?  My sister's not in residence today."

"I know who you are," he stage-whispered.

"Good.  Then you know that your infatuation is probably useless," he agreed.  He gave him a gentle smile and reached over, touching him on the cheek.  "You're a really nice guy, Mark, but I was really confused at the time.  That was only my third week like that."

Mark hung his head, nodding.  "I understand.  Still..."  He looked at him.  "You're still the most special and beautiful thing I've ever seen."  He leaned over, kissing him.  "You probably always will be."

"And you're the guy I first flirted with.  Because of you I got a lot of stuff that I not only needed but needed to settle me into a calm and happy place.  That's why I'm over here."  He scooted closer.  "I consider my other half like my sister."  Mark nodded, swallowing hard.  "I'm not the one you really want, Mark, it's in your eyes now."  He kissed him again.  "Tell Uncle Lavelle.  You deserve a boon for being so nice to a shy little girl and for not telling your uncle that we lived next door."  He saw the boy's eyes widen slightly and smirked.  "I didn't know Gramps floated that way."

"He doesn't, not always, but I've seen it," Mark admitted, glancing around.  "I...."  He shook his head and slumped.  "It's too preposterous to even think."

Xander snorted.  "I used to think the same thing when I mooned over Jigen.  Then he got insanely jealous of you."  He pinched the boy's chin.  "He got so jealous that they had a real fight over me."  Mark looked stunned.  "Yeah.  Because you kissed me that way, I got the man I've always wanted.  I got so much from that.  What can I do to get you yours?"

"I don't want to compete with Dawn," he said firmly.  "She's a good girl."

Xander snickered.  "I'll tell her you said that about her.  She'll turn you over her knee and paddle you in front of your friends."  Mark looked stunned.  "Dawn and I are a lot alike.  If she had minded you mooning over Gramps, she would have already faced you down about it."  Mark swallowed.  "Now, what can Uncle Lavelle do to get you your man?" he asked with a sexy grin he hadn't used since his club days.  Mark blushed.  "Ah, I remember that look.  Maybe I should take you downstairs and debauch you on his bed, leaving you lying limp there for him?"  Mark whimpered, leaning toward him for another kiss.  Xander moaned into his mouth, making him groan.  "Come on, I've got an idea.  Let's go to your room."  Mark's eyes opened wide.  "I promise I'll be good and nice."

Mark stood up.  "I shouldn't.  You could hurt the others while they slept."

"Where's the fun in that?" Xander asked with a small smirk.  Mark shivered and nodded, leading him down to the balcony and inside the house.

"Mark, at least leave the doors closed!" a female voice shouted.  "It's cold out tonight!"

"Yes, Aunt, I was just coming back in," he called.  He waved Xander into a room next to the balcony, shutting both doors quickly.  Xander was pacing around his bed, reading from a book.  "What are you doing?"

"Silencing spell."  He said the last word and something went up but it was going to make things echo around the house so he redid it, getting a second one.  That brought it back down to the normal level.  "Where is his room in relation to yours?"  Mark pointed directly down.  "Right below yours?"  Mark nodded, swallowing again.  "By plan or by accident?"

"Sometimes I sneak out onto my ledge and stare down at him," Mark admitted in a hoarse whisper.  "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to place the weak part of the silencing charm over the floor," he said smugly, doing so.  Then he put the book back into his pocket and looked at his little virgin.  "Come here, Mark," he purred.  Mark stepped closer so Xander met him halfway, kissing him stupid.  The boy moaned and his knees went weak.  "Did you want to do that?" he asked gently.  The boy nodded and went to his knees, undoing his pants to free his cock and give it a few very tender licks.  "Hmm."  He half-closed his eyes, considering the room.  He'd need some longer ropes.  "Got any rope?" he asked.  Mark squeaked.  Xander pulled him up, smiling at him, making the boy shiver.  "I'm going to tie you to the bed in a way that you'll be able to get out of," he promised.  "I'd never tie a virgin down so they couldn't get free."  He traced the soft lips.  They had felt like girls lips on him.  "Then I'm going to make you moan and scream my name."

"I'm usually quiet," he protested.

"I've made people scream in the past who said the same thing," he promised, stealing another kiss.  "How do you want to be placed, my sweet little innocent?  How would you like your first time?"

"On my back," he whispered.  "Please, Lavelle."

"That's it, babe, moan my name," he encouraged, stroking him through his pants.  Mark shivered and leaned against his body.  "Got any ropes?"

"A spare sheet," he offered.

"Good enough."  Xander pulled out his pocket knife and went to cut long strips down the length of it.  More than enough room.  He sat on the bed, crossing his legs.  The strips were beside him and it gave him the perfect way to stroke himself.  "Strip for me, Mark.  I know you want to.  You can even tell me more about these fantasies you've had about him since you were how old?"

"Sixteen," Mark said with a blush.  He started to work on his shirt, glancing down at it.

"Ah-ah.  Look at me, Mark.  There is nothing sexier than self-confidence.  Even little bottom boys are sexier for being confident in their appeal."  Mark blushed but did stare at him.  "Tell me, Mark, give me more to work with to set the stage appropriately."

"I..."  He blushed brighter and felt his throat close a little.  "He used to come home from the longer chases hard and swearing," he admitted.  "The Beijing one was the worst."  He stepped closer, down to an open shirt and pants now.  "Take off my belt?" he suggested with a small smirk, trying it out.  Xander teased it, staring into his eyes.  "He came home and I was staying at his house, house sitting during a school vacation.  He walked in and he was so hard," he moaned.  "All I wanted to do was to stop his pacing so I could hold him, then slowly go down on him.  I knew he'd be shocked so I never said anything," he moaned as his belt was slowly drawn out of the loops.  "He would have stuttered and tried to stop me, but I knew he'd want it.  He wouldn't stop me for long."  His eyes closed as his pants were undone for him.  "I've had others.  The newest ones have Dawn in them.  I know he only likes blokes three percent of the time or so but I'm willing to take that."

"Then he deserves you," Xander assured him, leaning in to lick up the firm stomach. "What was that one?"

"I imagined myself under his desk on my knees.  He has the most gorgeous antique desk at his house and the well is just perfect as a hiding spot.  I imagined myself down there, teasing him when Dawn walked in and her being unaware of me.  She walked in and kissed him across the desk, leaning on it to give him a good view down her top."

"Do you like Dawn too?" he prompted.

Mark nodded, his breath catching when Xander licked up the head of his penis.  "Oh, damn, you are good."

"And I have been for a very long time," Xander assured him smugly.  "You are not the first virgin I've popped."  The boy shivered and looked at him like he was God.  "Strip for me, Mark.  Let me play with your body, make you ready for him."  Mark nodded, stripping out of his clothes quickly.  "How big is he?"

Mark's hand shook as he opened a drawer in his dresser, pulling out an enormous dildo he hadn't gotten to play with yet.  "I think he's about that size around.  I had hopes you were built like that too."  He looked at the hard cock.  "Long, but not quite as thick," he said, starting to drool.

"I think we can manage to make you ready for him," Xander promised, internally smirking.  The boy wanted it that badly?  And he wanted it that big?  Yeah, he'd make someone a happy little bottom slut.  He got the boy laying down and tied down, laying the trailing ends of the sheets near his head.  "If you grab either one of those and pull, you'll be free," he instructed.  Mark nodded quickly so Xander stepped back.  "Watch me, Mark, know what's going to be making you scream and howl as I pump into you."

Mark whimpered as he watched, marveling at the confidence the man showed.  The marks on his body didn't seem to faze him at all.  Then Xander found his stash of condoms.  "But I'm a virgin," he uttered.

"Yes, but I don't know what *girls* you've slept with and you don't know who I've slept with," Xander reminded him.  "Always play as safely as possible.  The danger isn't worth it in this arena.  Besides, I doubt he wants to find any traces of me in your body.  You'd become a crime scene, not a lust inducing sight."  He slid one down Mark's body, leaning down to suck on him.  The boy moaned loudly, arching up and squeezing his eyes tightly shut.  Xander pulled back.  "More like that," he agreed.  "I like to hear noise while I work on someone."  Mark laughed nervously as he slicked a finger up and went to stretch him.  Mark wiggled and moaned and called his name.  "Keep your mind on what I'm doing," Xander warned.  "Don't call me by his name."  Mark tossed his head around as he shook it.  Xander added a second finger, making him writhe and howl with pleasure.  "You'll take very well to this art."  He slid one on himself as he laid down beside the boy, kissing him.  "Remember, with someone that wide, try for four fingers of preparation, if not definitely three."  Mark nodded, staring at him.  "There are ways of doing it before he gets home.  I'll leave you with one of those as he comes up."  He gave him another kiss.  "Let's get you loose so you're not in pain when I have to leave suddenly."  He went back to his sucking, making the boy's groans echo around the room.

Xander could hear someone downstairs moving around in an agitated manner and knew he'd not get a full hour with the kid.  He pulled out his best tricks, getting the boy off quickly, with a muted howl of pleasure.  "Very good," he praised.  He slicked himself up and slowly worked his way into the twitching hole.  "Relax.  I'm giving you what you wanted," he reminded, stroking his stomach.  Mark arched up, helping him.  "Very good. You will make an excellent bottom boy.  Next time, you won't even need tied down," he said with a grin, finishing his slow slide in.  The boy's eyes bulged.  "Still think you want something as big as that toy?" he teased, pulling back to push in again.

"No, I want someone normal sized!" he groaned.  "Please.  Lavelle, I will beg," he pleaded.

"Of course you will.  You're already doing it very well," he agreed.  He paused.  "Are you going to tell Gramps where we're hiding?"  The boy tossed his head around again.  "Promise?"

"I promise," he pleaded.  "More, please, Lavelle!  Please!  I'll never tell!"  Xander said a simple binding, binding that promise to him.

Xander started moving again, doing his best to get off.  It had been a while since he had topped and since he was going to leave the boy begging and drooling he could please himself this time.  He felt it coming and Mark was making more very loud noises so he knew it was time.  "Ready?" he asked.  Mark nodded, thumping his head on the pillow.  "Now yell his name," he ordered, staring into his eyes.  "Call him."  He got off with a loud groan of his own, then panted.  "Start calling his name, Mark, so he knows you want him."

"I...I can't."

Xander teased the dripping cock.  "Yes, you can.  Do it.  Or no more sex ever."

"Oh, God, Uncle Zenny," he called, eyes squeezed tightly shut.  "Yes, more!  More! Please, more!"  He opened his eyes as Xander climbed off the bed.  "Where are you going?"

"I don't think he wants to find me in here when he comes in," he said dryly.  "Do you?"  Mark shook his head.  "His door just closed."  He put the condom in the trash, then winked.  "Keep going."  He gave him a kiss, biting him on the lip.  "Play safely, I want you around."  He heard footsteps on the stairs.  "Do it again," he encouraged, sliding over to the window.  The tree was just near enough to grab. He winked.  "Call out for him, he's outside your door."  He removed the three spells as he slid out into the tree, hiding in the shadows as the door opened. Then he put back on the muffling spell and slid down to the ground, heading for the house.

Zenigata looked at his favorite nephew, hand on his open door.  "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Close the door," Mark moaned.  "Please?"  The door slammed and Zenigata came in.  His ears popped then it felt like they got stuffy again.  "I asked him to, Uncle, please," he begged.  He could see he was hard.  "Please, Zenny.  I will beg."

"Who did this?" he asked, looking at the ropes.

"Lavelle."  He undid one of the wrist restraints with a yank of his teeth, getting that arm free to stop him before he tried to capture him.  "He wanted to thank me for giving him everything he had ever wanted so he helped me see what I wanted."  He pulled his uncle down by his tie, kissing him hard.  "I want you.  All I've wanted since the chase through Beijing was you."  The inspector pulled back, giving him a shocked look.  The boy released his other hand and got to his knees.  "He made me wait for you," he pleaded, fisting his hands in the older man's shirt.  "I know you don't usually but just this once?" he pleaded.  "Just so I know?  Then I can be fulfilled and go to an unhappy and loveless marriage thinking about you."

Zenigata swallowed.  "Your obsession....."

"He broke it and made me see I was transferring my one for you onto him."  He kissed him again, breaking the ice sculpture.  "He used a condom, thought the first seed into my body should be yours."  The inspector's eyes went wider, then he frowned. "Please."  He laid back down, putting his arms above his head.  "He knew, uncle, and he gave me to you."

Zenigata took off his tie.  "Mark, I'm not really...."  He had to stop as the boy pounced him.  He was really desperate.  His body was begging in a way that couldn't be faked.  His thighs were clamped around the older man's lap.  "I'm twice your age," he complained.

"So!  I know what I want, the same as you do.  Please, uncle," he pleaded, undoing his pants to suck on him.  Zenigata broke then, it was hard to resist someone desperate enough to molest you when you were fighting against your desires.  Mark found himself back on his back, his wrists retied to the bed.  "Yes, thank you," he said, arching up.  "Please, I need it, now."

"I noticed."  He stood up and stripped.  "Did he have you?"

"He used a condom.  He said he played very safely and that he wanted yours to be the first in me."

"I'll get that later."  He climbed in, kissing him.  "Do you really like being tied down?"  Mark nodded, looking at him.  "You do?"

"I like this position, maybe not in any other one but I like it this time," he said, arching up to rub against him.  His uncle groaned and nodded, kissing him.  "Thank you," he said once he could breathe.  "This is what I wanted.  He was so soft, it wasn't like he was a man, like you."

"You're laying it on thick, kid.  Even he grows a beard."

"Not this time.  He must have shaved.  His whole body was smooth.  I need more scratchy things against me."  He arched his chest up to rub against the scratchy chest hair the other man had.  "Like that."

Zenigata groaned and took control of the situation again.  "I'm not usually like this."

"I'll take the three percent that you are.  After the long chases, when you're frustrated, any of it.  Ooh, I've had so many fantasies of you in your study."  The older man groaned and went down to play with his neck.  "I wanted you to take me on top of it, just bend me over and do me right there.  I wouldn't even care if Dawn came in to watch."

"I'm still fighting her."

"Uncle, you're going to take her too.  I know you.  We intrigue you.  We want you.  Not them.  We've both come to your side from the dark.  You kept me from taking drugs after my overdose and you brought her out of crime.  We are yours."

Zenigata growled, plunging into the waiting body.  The young man howled and writhed, making him warmer.  That wasn't pain, that was pleasure.  "Is this what you wanted?"  Mark nodded, pushing up to do it for himself if he had to.  The boy was really frantic.  For him.  That was an ego stroke he couldn't deny.  It was incredibly intoxicating, even more so than the time he had caught all of them.  He shook that thought away, wanting to concentrate on the one underneath him.  His obsession had gone too far, Dawn was right about that.  He worked his way in and out of the boy, making him howl and scream his name in pleasure.  "I always thought you were quiet."

"I was, until I got this," he panted.  "Please, just a little more.  He left me needy, uncle.  He said you should do that for me."  He sobbed as the older man stroked him gently, the hands much different.  This was the one he had wanted.  Lavelle had been right.  He came with a loud swear and went limp, giving the man above him a look like he was God as he came too.  "Thank you."  He tried to hold him but his wrists were tied better this time.  His uncle looked down at him.  "Undo me so I can hold you?"

"Sure, kid."

"Mark," he reminded him.

"Mark."  He undid the knots, letting the boy go.  Mark immediately curled up on top of him, forcing him onto his back for a long cuddle.  "I still need to get that condom to the crime lab for analysis," he said, thinking out loud.

"Put it in the freezer.  It'll keep.  There's one there beside the dresser."  He let him get up, watching as he bagged the genetic sample and placed it in his small freezer.  "Come back to bed?" he asked with a small smile.

"I'm not as young as you, I have to take time between bouts."

Mark slid closer to him, using a handy babywipe to clean off the lubricant.  "So?"  Once the cock was clean, he did his best impersonation of what Lavelle had done to him.  His uncle stiffened and groaned, grabbing him by the hair.  "Can we do this in your study sometime?" he pleaded.

"Damn, kid, if you keep doing that, I'll bring you home with me for the full term," he promised, eyes closed as the pleasure increased.  He had missed this part of life by chasing Lupin everywhere in the world.  "Can you cook?"

"Very well," he agreed between licks, going down on him again.  His uncle groaned and held his head down.  He learned to ignore his gag reflex almost immediately, enjoying this. It was an art.  Lavelle had been right about that too.

***

Xander walked into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of juice to sip.  He had turned off the bug he had placed in the trash as soon as he had heard the Inspector give in.  It was gratifying, his good deed for the year.  Lupin and Jigen walked in and he waved at them.  "No more problems coming from Mark," he told them.  "And Zenigata's going to be a bit less of a grouchy gut soon too."

"What did you do?" Lupin asked, looking him over.  He could guess, the boy was positively rumpled.

"I gave Mark a reward for being so nice to me and being the catalyst for me getting what I've always wanted.  You two."

"What was his reward?" Jigen asked.

"Gramps," he said with a grin.  Both men looked stunned.  "He's not always like that but sometimes he is."  He shrugged.  "I broke the boy in and then left him needy and begging for a second orgasm as Gramps came up the stairs to save him."  He finished his juice and reached for a second bottle, holding it up.  "Since I'm over here, anyone need it?"  They shook their head but he noticed Jigen was looking confused.  "What?" he asked patiently.

"Today's just been a day for shocks of a sexual nature," Lupin told him.  "Fifteen?"

"Jesse and I saved up some money and got permission to go to a comic convention in San Diego."  He grinned.  "It was a wild weekend.  We weren't the only ones without costumes but nearly.  The older guys all gave us very patient and adoring looks, remembering being our ages fondly.  I lost my cherry to Spiderman while his daddy, Wolvie, looked on."  He sighed in remembered pleasure.  "Then he taught me how to do it from the top on his boy.  Damn, he taught me most everything I know in the art."  He sipped his juice.  "After that, I went to Fresno mostly.  It was safer there and there were a lot of twinks in the town who considered me the next step up because I wasn't quite as tiny as they were.  I broke in a lot of future bottom sluts in those days," he said with a small grin.  "Then I was with Larry.  It startled me when he came out to me, but I eventually got over it and showed him what he wanted to do.  Definite top material but I got him onto his back a good few times before he died during graduation.  The football team picked a person to 'help him' before the games so I never saw him that day, but usually the day after that."  He shrugged.  "Then there was Faith and her three second thing.  It was so confusing. I didn't think I liked most women; I thought I liked strength in women, someone who still screamed 'top' to me."  He grinned at Jigen.  "Then I figured out the female thing was kinda nice but I hadn't had enough of a chance to get going so I went and found out more personally with a bi girl at the club I liked to head to.  She was more than happy to finish my education."  Jigen was staring at him.  "You knew I was a party kid sometimes."

"You're too damn shy to be that way."

"No, I'm too damn shy when it comes to being in a long term 'ship," Xander corrected.  "I deal very well with people for a few minutes or an hour.  Over the long term?  I've never had any experience with that.  Cordy was a cover and a quick source of blows but we weren't *together*.  My friends weren't teaching me much beyond the horrors of PMS every month.  I dated Anya and she fucked with my head by always demanding I buy her shit and give her orgasms.  It was like being with a long-term hooker really."  He gave him a wry look.  "I was a slut until about a month before I got delivered.  I thought I wanted something with Gunn and he wouldn't have accepted my frivolities.  So I quit clubbing and I straightened my ass out.  We nearly did too, but that was the night Wesley grabbed me."

"So you're a sexual monster?" Lupin teased.

Xander grinned at him.  "I like to think of myself as more indiscriminate. I have loved a lot of bodies and left them limp.  I've even had people offer to pay me after the fact.  Men and women."  He gave him a smug look. "I've never taken them up on it I am very proud to say."

Jigen growled.  "Yet, you're still blushing?"

"Jigen, I look funny.  If I went into a club these days, everyone would back away from me.  Either they'd see the hair and think I was old, which is not done in the place of pretty people.  Or they'd think I was odd and a bad person to be around.  No one liked me for *me*.  No one thought I was more than cute and well-built.  All that was about was quick sexual release.  Like dancing in a mosh pit, a release of pent-up energy.  Of course I blush.  You guys think I'm more than cute and a good blow!"  He sipped more of his juice.

"He is a good blow," Lupin admitted.

"I consider that an art form to itself.  Sex is another one, one that I'm quickly learning where I do my best work.  Topping for me is like an interpretative or surrealistic piece.  It's nice but not *real*.  It's not me.  The bottom boy both of you see is *me*.  It's where I like to be and where I feel my best times are.  I used to keep a diary of names and places we met, just in case something happened.  I tossed it out when I met Jigen."  Jigen looked stunned.  "You asked me what that diary was.  It was full."  Lupin looked stunned.  "I was cute in the land of cute-lovers.  A little too big to be a twink, not taken by someone to be their boy.  I was young, horny, and smooth enough to not matter much.  That's all they cared about."

"If you're such a slut, then why haven't you jumped him recently?"

"I learned self control.  It seems to come with age," he pointed out, grinning cheekily at him.  "I can't be eighteen forever.  I realized that at twenty-one when I threw out my back after a wild weekend at Lake Mead."

Jigen's eyes narrowed. "You're only with us?"

"Except for those times you've known I've went for the pros.  Yeah," Xander agreed.  "I haven't disrespected you like that.  Lupin won't let me have him half the time, you've been good with me, so I'm satisfied.  I haven't needed anyone else."

Jigen shook his head.  "You're a cocky kid."

"I can be," Xander agreed.  "You knew this when we met."

Jigen walked over, grabbing him by the hair.  "Are you playing with us?"  Xander shook his head, staring into his eyes.  "You're sure?"

"I'm very sure.  Why would I want to play with the people who give me everything and keep me sane?" he asked quietly.  Jigen growled.  "Seriously.  You're the reason I'm still here and sane. Otherwise I probably would have kept going that night and I would have ended up killed within a few days on the street.  Or taken by another creature and used up or killed.  The fact that you needed me was enough to keep me anchored to sanity while I regained my mind.  Then you said I was coming with you because I had talent.  That was the first time I had been told that outside of a bathroom."  Jigen gave a low growl again.  "And you never let me touch you.  You valued me as a person.  It was amazing.  There were people who were nice to me because they liked me."  He gave him a sad smile.  "This is why I didn't tell you, Jigen.  Because you'd freak."  He got his head free and stepped away from him, running into the counter.   "I've always played safely.  I take all my blood tests.  All of it."

Lupin nodded.  "I had a moment of doubt but it was razor burn, nothing more sinister."

"You were damn lucky, kid."

"Yeah, I was," Xander agreed.  "In many things.  Otherwise I could have been turned a long time ago.  I used to wander all night in Sunnydale," he said bitterly.  They looked stunned.  "Anything else I can answer for you?"

"On your knees," Jigen ordered.  Xander gave him a look then did so, coming over to suck at him.  He groaned, liking it.  He hadn't thought he would, but he was.

Lupin turned to look out the window, sighing.  "This is not the place for that," he pointed out.

"Shut up."

"Fine."  Lupin walked outside to give them some privacy.  He knew the boy was experienced.  It didn't surprise him.  Low self esteem often came with the complication of promiscuity in young men.  He had figured it would have been worse.  He sat down to watch the stars, silently thinking at Jigen to not ruin this.  He lit a cigarette to think with, needing it before he went in there and jumped the boy himself.  They could easily hurt the boy and then he would leave and they'd both be miserable.

Jigen pulled the boy off him, looking into his eyes.  "Do you really enjoy that?"

"I enjoyed it more when the person I'm with is into it," he offered, standing there even though he wanted to run.  "I guess that question depends on you, huh?"  He grabbed his juice to finish it, then tossed it into the trash.  "I'm going to my room while you think.  Come talk to me if you want. If not, yell at me tomorrow."  He walked away but his mentor caught him, keeping him there.

"I didn't want to know."

"Then like most things, you shouldn't have asked," Xander pointed out gently.   Jigen nodded, tucking himself back inside his pants and zipping himself back up.  "I haven't touched anyone since we've been together.  Why would I need to?" he asked quietly.  "You've been everything I need until tonight.  Then tonight I went and I opened Mark very well, left him limp, tied to a bed, and waiting on his big hero to come in.  I used protection and so did he."  Jigen opened his mouth and Xander gave him a wry look.  "It's often said of bottom sluts that they need a blow job and some lube and they're ready.  Mark will make a good one of those.  I find I now have a higher price."  He got his arm free.  "Another thing you taught me, Jigen."  He walked away, heading up to his room.

Jigen grabbed some scotch and headed outside to sit and stare at the night.  "Did I just hurt him?"

"Only if you don't apologize and you treat him like he's a whore," Lupin said quietly.  "He wasn't.  It could have been much worse with his upbringing."  He blew out some smoke, then realized how close Jigen was.  And that he wasn't choking yet.  He looked over at him.  "It's not bothering you?"

"It hasn't been recently."  He took the cigarette to suck on, handing it back almost immediately.  "I think it's going away again.  I might be able to smoke for real within a year."  He considered his student, getting back on track.  "I guess I know why he won't do more than tease the marks."  Lupin looked at him.  "I understand.  I get it.  It's a different age."

"The boy grew up in the haven of the remaining seventies' climate.  Remember Studio 54?"  Jigen nodded, looking upset.  "Welcome to the gay underground in rural California."  That got a moan of pain.  "So go talk to him.  Take your shot too, it's beside the stove."

"I will.  I need to think first."  He gulped his scotch, hoping it would help.

"Fine.  Should I talk to him?"

"No.  We're good."  Jigen looked at him.  "He and I are fine too.  I love the little guy for some reason."

"It's often hard when you realize that and then you realize they're not the pure little creatures you've made yourself believe," Lupin said bitterly.  "Been there, done that too."

"Fujiko," he agreed.  "What about you and him?"

"I haven't had him in months," Lupin pointed out.  Jigen glared at him.  "I haven't."

"You should.  He likes you too."

"Yeah, but he loves you."

"You'd be surprised.  He called out for *us* when he had that nightmare.  Not me, both of us to save him from it."  Lupin looked startled.  "I think you've got a bit of that yourself.  For all of the slut you were, there's still that's touch of insecurity sometimes.  But then again, look at who you were obsessed with for most of your adult life."

Lupin laughed.  "Fine, I'll go cuddle him and you can come up and talk to him whenever you're ready.  We won't have anything to do tomorrow."  He got up and went upstairs, finding Xander watching tv on the bed.  He curled up behind him, holding him tightly.  "He'll be up soon," he said quietly.  Xander nodded.  "I need to know, Xander, do you...prefer him?"

"I'm so fucked up, I can't decide," Xander admitted, rolling over to hold him.  "He won't deal with me as a guy and you don't really like me as a girl."

Lupin smoothed the shirt over the boy's back.  "Yeah, but I like you enough to try and so does Jigen apparently."  Xander looked up at him.  "Really."  He smiled.  "The commercial's off."  They flipped over to watch tv together.  It was nice and comfortable.  Not at all what he had with Fujiko.  He hadn't been able to spend any quiet moments with her.  Now he could appreciate them.  Jigen came in and took Xander's front to hold, letting himself fall asleep that way.  It was a big step.

Games People Play

Lupin looked up as someone knocked on his office door, standing up as the petite woman walked in, already smiling.  "Murami," he said, giving her a hug.  She was their financial manager and a very important woman in his life.  He had saved her from being killed by the people her husband had worked for but she couldn't escape totally.  She was the best person he had ever found.  He handed over Xander's accounting problem.  "I don't know how he did it, but he lost five cents and neither of us can find it."

She took the pen he held out, circling the two different amounts.  "He juxtaposed," she said, handing it back with a smile.  "If he's gotten that far, it's an amazing thing."  She sat down.  "Let's start with your accounts since it'll take the longest and you don't like to tell people what your grandfather left you."  He nodded.  "Did you know there was a missing clause in his will?"

"I did," Lupin said bitterly.  "But as you can see, I have deaged."

"Not legally," she reminded him.  He groaned, hanging his head.  "Keep it in mind, okay?  It'll be a nightmare to give all that away, including this house and the other two houses."  Lupin nodded.  "Good boy."  She opened her briefcase, laying it on the chair next to her.   She pulled out a large ledger book, handing it over.  "The last page has my most recent check of the accounts."  He flipped back, looking at it.  Then he looked at her.  "More or less?"

"Less.  What happened?"  He handed it back.

"That whole prison thing.  The shipping costs for the Benz and things," she admitted.  She flipped to the right page, letting him see it.  "I didn't think you had known about that so I made sure it was complete."  He nodded as he looked it over.  "Marcus was very worried about you, Lupin.  He was panicking when he called me for help.  I had to get him to check on Xander and Goemon.  Oh, I also paid a bribe to get Goemon out sooner," she admitted.  "I couldn't really do a thing for Xander, but I hear he managed an earthquake."  He nodded, giving her a small grimace.  "It was necessary.  They were going to hurt Xander.  The person I paid the bribe to said it would go to cashier out someone who had wanted to harm him.  They had a habit of harming the young and pretty and Xander was just odd enough that he coveted him.  Xander had good instincts in that situation.  He kicked the guy's ass in front of his friends.  The Commander was not a happy person when he was asked to retire."

Lupin leaned back, putting his arms behind his head.  "Really?  Xander never said he got predator vibes off him."

"He might not have realized it.  He probably reminded him of someone he knew on some level."  She shrugged, crossing her feet.  "Anyway, he saved a lot of other little boys some pain and tragedy. His friend wasn't touched, I checked on him when Xander ran.  Oz is a very nice young man.  Much too nice to have anything happen to him like that."

"Do you like this Oz?" he teased.

She shook her head.  "He is Xander's age."  Lupin smirked.  "Unlike you, I like my men suave and older."  She smirked at him.  "If only you hadn't deaged."

"Yeah, but I've got my nose up Xander's skirts most of the time," he admitted.

"I had noticed some fairly unusual charges to his card.  Women's clothes?"  Lupin nodded.  "Is he like that?  He doesn't seem like the sort."

Lupin burst out in giggles, pressing the intercom button.  Jigen came, and Lupin waved a hand at her.  "She wanted to know why Xander was buying women's clothes," he gasped, continuing to laugh.

"I didn't think he was the sort," she explained, pulling out his folder and handing it over.  "He doesn't seem like the sort to wear panties."

Jigen gave her a light hug.  "He's not.  We've had an interesting artifact fall into our laps."  He sat on the couch to look through it.  "It changes gender.  Xander makes a stunning woman."  He smirked up at her when she went silent, nodding.  "That one Pops was going on about in Cleveland?  That was Xander."

She snorted, then shook her head.  "Poor guy.  With his nose too."  Lupin continued to laugh so she frowned at him.  "Keep it up and I'll tell them about the clause."  That made him quit.

"What clause?" Jigen asked.

Lupin groaned.  "Within the next two years, a Fourth has to appear."

Jigen looked at him.  "How were you planning on that?"

"Technically, I have one somewhere from way back when but she's straight."  Lupin shrugged.  "A quickie in a bathroom?"  Jigen glared at him.  "Sorry.  I planned on finding a very nice woman who wanted a child without complications and making a deal with her.  Complete with sperm selection if she'd allow it."  Jigen looked thoughtful.  "Never have heirs.  It's horrible on them."

Jigen nodded.  "True.  Have you thought what might happen if your kid and Goemon's kids like each other ...that way?" he asked in a perfect deadpan.  Lupin's eyes widened comically, making both of them laugh.  "Gotcha."

"I'll get you back for that," Lupin warned him.  "After all, how many people realize Sylvia is your woman?"

Jigen shrugged.  "Like I care.  She can take care of herself and I will protect her."

"Sylvia?" Murami asked.  She pushed her black hair over her shoulder.  The low ponytail she wore it in was full of static and not behaving.  Her delicate features frowned at him.  "Who is this woman?  Should I get my legal counterpart to start working on a prenup?"

"Whoa!" Jigen said, holding up a hand.  "Sylvia is Xander's other form.  We're not even sure the choker can be fixed, much less needing something that drastic."  She gave him a smile and he calmed down.  "Am I poor yet?" he asked, returning to the forms.

"Far from it, Jigen.  It's amazing how much you've saved not smoking four packs a day."  She smiled at him.  "Is she a proper woman?"

"Mostly," he said with a grin.  "But she's got that same naughty streak that makes Xander such a handful sometimes. She got me pirate treasure for my birthday."

"He took right to it," Lupin agreed.  "Trains as it and everything.  She's very handy to have around.  Speaking of, Jigen.  We'll have to have a talk with Goemon.  The next target I want to hit, we'll need a woman who'll put out."  Jigen looked upset, then shook his head.  "I know.  He'll feel the same way.  We really need an unattached woman for this job."

"We'll talk about it later," Jigen promised.  "Just the three of us.  Did they send you baby pictures of Ishi?"

"I did get a few, yes," she admitted.  "Taken through someone's tieclip camera and on a disposable I had to get developed.  He's a very pretty baby in that kimono."

"Xander," the two men said in unison.

She laughed.  "It's perfect for the baby.  He obviously enjoys giving well-thought out gifts.  Where is the happy family?"

"In the dining room waiting on you," Lupin promised.  "Along with everyone else."  He stood up, handing back the book.  "I'll work on that clause," he promised.  "I'd hate to lose the house."

"We'd lose the house?" Jigen asked.

"You'd lose almost all of the major assets except the Benz," Murami told him.  "Everything would be put on hold for six months just in case he could suddenly produce an heir or have one started, then it would be given to charity and they're not supposed to allow him to buy them back."

Jigen looked at Lupin.  "Ask Dawn if she knows anyone."

Lupin shook his head.  "I was going to go through a surrogate.  I've got it planned."  He put a hand on Murami's back, leading her to the dining room.  "Here she is, the money lady."

Marcus smiled at her.  "Did you get the paperwork from my check?" he asked.

She nodded.  "I did.  It was very smart of you to explain it as your inheritance."  She sat down and opened her briefcase again, handing him a thin folder.  Fujiko got another thin folder and Goemon got a larger one than Jigen had.  Xander bounced and shifted in his seat so she smiled at him.  "Have you been a good boy, Xander?"  He nodded happily. "Are you sure?"  He nodded harder.  "Then I guess this is yours."  She handed his very thick one over, then took his homework and handed it over.  "You did a number switch," she explained.  "I circled it."  He nodded, grinning at her.  "You've managed to spend all the allowance that you've wanted, but I've allowed you to take more out," she told him. "I still think that's a really small allowance.  How about if I up it to five hundred a week?  You don't have to use it."

He frowned.  "I'd like to have stuff for when I'm old and cranky," he told her.

"Xander, you just sent me a check to put up for you that was a million and a half."

"A half?" Jigen asked.  "I think mine was only about a quarter."

"The half came from a separate check," she told him. "Directly from a casino."

"It was my table winnings," Xander admitted.  "I still suck at craps."  He looked over his forms, holding up a finger.  "Ten?"

"You overflowed the overflow accounts past what the insurance companies will guarantee," she told him.  "I didn't think you'd want that."

"No, I didn't," he admitted.  "Thanks, Murami.  Did you get the flowers and candy?"

"I did, and they made my day, Xander.  Thank you.  You are so sweet."

"Sucking up to her won't get you better interest," Fujiko told him, smirking at him.

He stuck his tongue out at her.  "Because of that whole Hong Kong thing, I had to switch out three of my cards.  She got me new ones for all my accounts.  Speaking of, I didn't throw out my old ones.  Do you have a list of numbers you can send me?"  She nodded and dug into her briefcase, handing it over.  He pulled out his wallet, flipping through his cards.  Six of them were laid out then the rest were put back.  "Check me, my dear?"  He handed them over.

She looked at the cards, then at the list.  Then she noticed the date and dug out the most current list.  "No, these are the good ones.  Sorry, Xander," she said when he sighed, handing over the wallet.  She got them sorted out with the list she had run off the other day, handing the current ones back.  "Where are the others?"

"In my room.  These are the ones I like to carry with me.  Oh, bosses?  Can I please go to the convention in Paris in two weeks or will we be gone?"

"Convention?" Goemon asked.

"It's a fandom, anime, and comic con," Xander told him, giving him a grin.  "I'm still a geek."  He went back to his reading, stroking his wallet.  "Has anyone heard anything from Ethan?"

"Not yet," Lupin admitted, watching him.  "Xander, go get the rest of your cards, just in case," he ordered.  He nodded and got up, heading that way.  Lupin waited until he was gone.  "Give me that," he said, pointing at his folder.  Goemon shook his head and Murami gave him a look.  "Please?" he tried.  Xander came jogging back down the stairs, handing over his stack of cards.  "What are those?  That's way more than ten."

"Gift cards," Xander told him.  "Totally untraceable.  No electronic fingerprints."  He grinned at him.  "Did you want to see this, boss?"  Lupin nodded so he slid the folder down, letting him catch it.  "Can I still go to the con?"

"If we're here," Lupin agreed.  "If we leave suddenly, you'll need your phone so we can pick you up."  Xander nodded when he glanced up.  "Speaking of, do you have a phone now?"

"Prepaid tossaway," Xander admitted.  "Nothing special."

"Let's fix that for everyone tomorrow," Lupin decided.  "And I mean everyone, Goemon."

"Yes, Lupin."

"Thank you.  You never know when you'll want to call and check on the baby."  He looked up.  "Speaking of, where is he?"

Fujiko turned up the baby monitor so he could hear the baby snoring.  "Napping for once this week."

Murami smiled at Xander.  "That was a very pretty kimono in the pictures you sent me.  Was that the one Lupin said you got him?"  Goemon nodded.  "That was very appropriate."

"I asked," Xander admitted.  "I looked up someone online and talked to them about it.  All I told them about the parents was that they were very honorable and believing in the old ways and that he was going to be the latest in a long line of special sons."  Goemon gave him a gentle pat.  "I've got his email addy if you wanted to talk to him."

"I may.  Thank you, Xander."

"Welcome.  Or hey, maybe someone else could use one as a present for bearing a second heir?" he suggested.  Fujiko growled as she glared at him.  "I only spoil pregnant people and my lovers," he pointed out.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "He spoils you?  I haven't gotten any of that yet."

"They only have to ask and they get my slavish attention," Xander said dryly, grinning at him.

"Both of them," Murami squeaked.  She cleared her throat. "Forgive me, sometimes I forget how sheltered my rural upbringing really was."

"Had they been doing this in Japan, someone would be dead by now," Goemon agreed.  "It is rather cute however.  He's made Lupin blush."  As he was doing at that moment.  His son fussed and Xander bounded up before anyone else could.  "See if he will go back to sleep," he called after him.  "It is horrible how he spoils my son."

Lupin looked at Xander's accounts, smirking. "He really did buy that bracelet."  Jigen groaned and shook his head.

"It was a very distinctive piece," Murami pointed out.  "Besides, it's sweet that he buys the important things so the recipients don't have to worry about using them."  Fujiko gave her a confused look.  "He sent me a picture of it as well.  He thought it was something someone should have a picture of in the safe, in case someone decided to get, and I quote, smart assed about it and try to steal it from you."  She smirked.  "It is very pretty."

"It is," Fujiko admitted.  "It stopped a mood swing too."  Murami chuckled.  "Lupin, if you have to have one, ask her."

"Murami?" Lupin asked, grinning at her.

"I'd have to sleep with you and it might ruin me for other men," she pointed out dryly.  She loved her late husband and she would not go forward with another man.  She felt it would disrespect his memory and Lupin knew this about her.

"I am told there are ways around that," Goemon pointed out, looking at her.  "It is not dishonorable to want something for yourself," he reminded her gently.  She shrugged.   "Besides, who else could raise a child that would live in this life so well, yet have honor?  Besides myself," he joked.

She laughed, shaking her head.  "You are so bad, Goemon.  Just for that, I should keep the present I brought for you and the baby."  Fujiko gave her a pout.  "The baby's is for you as well," she promised gently.  "They're in the back of my car."  Fujiko hurried out, she loved presents.

Xander brought the baby in, trying to calm him down.  "I think he's hungry and there's no bottle up there," he said, sitting down beside Murami.  "Say hi to the auntie," he said.  "She's the nice one who gives me money so I can spoil you.  When you get older, you can tease her by calling her the allowance lady until your daddy gets onto you."

Murami laughed.  "I wouldn't mind at all.  Hopefully he won't need my skills for a very long time," she told him, taking the baby to hold.  The baby quit fussing, giving her a startled look.  "How dare I, huh?" she asked, cuddling him close.  He snuffled her then sucked on her pearls.  "He's definitely got good taste already," she noted.

"He's sucked a diamond out of a setting," Jigen told her.  "Nearly broke Xander's special choker."

"Perhaps we should not see if he can break a strand of pearls," Marcus said, taking him to put him onto the table in his carrier. "There you are, now you can be worshiped by the whole group, as you deserve," he said firmly.

"You are adorable," she sighed.  "Still not enough to encourage me to have one of my own though."  She touched his hand, making him grab her finger and squeeze.  "Quite a good grip," she told the father.

"Especially in hair," Xander said dryly.  "He likes silver by the way, Goemon.  My hair, my necklace, my shirt.  All of it."  Goemon shook his head.  "Maybe you should teach him about the precious and shiny gold stuff instead?"

"Pull your hair back," Marcus told him.  "The rest of us don't have that problem."

"Marcus, you've only got four inches of hair," Lupin reminded him.  "He's gotten my hair a number of times."

"He keeps trying to get my hat off," Jigen admitted, touching the brim of the hat he always wore.  "He's going for the hair underneath."

"Maybe he'll be a DNA expert," Xander joked.  "Oh, expect something funny to come from the US about my DNA.  I left a small contribution last night.  I'm going to be shocked if it doesn't come out with me looking like someone built along the likes of a certain Parisian bellringer from the Disney movie."

"I'll keep an eye out for that," Lupin told him.

"Most men don't call that a small contribution," Marcus told him.  "They make up sayings about gushing like rivers and the like."

"Yeah, well, I've got scarred tubes, Marcus.  I have for a very long time, even before I was with Anya."

"Why?" Jigen asked.

"The doctor said it looked like I had gotten a really bad hit to the area in my youth and they had grown together since I wasn't using them to keep them open.  It was probably one of any number of bicycle accidents in my youth.  I got myself good a few times on the crossbar."  The men winced and Lupin bent down slightly. "I was a kid, you guys, it was just a big ouchie to me then."  He grinned at Marcus.  "The doctor said I'm lucky if I'm putting out one little swimmer in each load.  Most of them are dying of frustration and that one is probably now demented and changed due to what I went through.  Want to ask any other questions about my balls?"

Marcus blushed and shook his head.  "I'm sorry I got so personal, Xander."

"Not an issue, Marcus.  That was well before I found out about hell personally."  He went back to playing with the baby.  "Hi, little guy.  When it's time will you help me go pick out a kid to steal and raise right?  Hmm?  I'm sure you'll pick someone very nice who needs my special insight into low self esteem."  Goemon snorted, shaking his head.  "Hey, I'll get to prevent a kid from growing up like me.  I see no harm in that," he said firmly.

Murami gave him a pat on the shoulder.  "It's all right, Xander.  I can never be with another man after my late husband," she said quietly.  He gave her a hug, making her squeak for air.  She patted him on the back.  "We all have problems we can help others overcome."  He nodded, letting her go.

Fujiko came back with the two presents.  "Only the two?" she asked, giving their financial manager a pitiful look.

"I'm sure you all but tore the trunk apart," she said, smirking at her.  "You'll like the one for you and the baby.  Goemon may well blush at mine for him."  She watched as Fujiko looked at the tags, handing Goemon his.

Hers and the baby's turned out to be a wonderfully soft and fluffy chenille blanket. "I love this," she gushed, grinning at the other woman.  "He'll adore this.  It'll be his favorite thing next to the heartbeat bear Xander found for him."  She rubbed it against her son's bare foot, making him squirm and giggle.  "Murami gave you this," she told him.  "We'll have to take very good care of it."  The baby kicked and gooed at them.

Goemon opened his, looking at the strange device in there.  "I do not think I need these," he noted, holding them up.  The fake breasts with nipples on the end were connected by a strap that would go around a neck.

"They're meant for fathers so they understand the closeness mothers get when they feed their children."

"I'm not breastfeeding," Fujiko told her.  "They'd stretch out of shape horribly.  I'd have to buy a whole new wardrobe."

"Still, you hold him in a similar position. This way he can understand that too."

Goemon nodded, smiling at her.  "Thank you.  I shall try them out tonight."  The other older men smirked at him.  "As should they."

"I tried on Xander's choker," Lupin smirked.  "I looked just like my daughter, it was scary."

Jigen looked at him. "You're sick.  I bet you stood in front of the mirror and touched yourself too."  Lupin nodded, grinning at him.  Jigen shook his head.  "You're awful."

Xander cleared his throat.  "Murami, did you get our medical records?"

"I did.  I also got your book collection," she told him, tossing him a key.  "I was wondering when you were going to say something about that.  I rented you a storage space."  She looked down at Lupin, who was about to say something.  "You wouldn't believe it. It looks like he bought out a college bookstore."  Xander blushed and mumbled something.  "Between that and a few things that I'm not sure I want to know about, I stuck them in storage.  Xander, why did you have a spandex superhero costume?"

He grinned.  "I like the cons."

"Ah."  She nodded.  "I'm hoping you're talking about fandom conventions and not walking into a prison dressed like that?"  He laughed and nodded.  "Good.  Excellent in fact.  Iceman suits you with your hair."  She gave him an understanding pat.  "You missed it earlier, I asked them why you were buying women's clothes.  I didn't think you were the sort to wear panties and stockings."

He shuddered.  "Panties are annoying," he told her. "It's nicer to not wear them at all."  She nodded, giving him a look.  "I had to learn, but I don't like thongs.  They cut into you and it's like wearing butt floss."

"I told you to get the right size," Fujiko pointed out.

Ethan appeared to muted applause he had brought with him.  He leaned down, kissing Xander on the top of the head as he put the choker on him.  He leaned down.  "Think of your usual form," he whispered.  Xander locked it around his neck.  "Is that the same?"

Xander looked down at her chest, then shook her head.  "They're smaller."  Ethan groaned so he took it off, handing it back.  "It's also weaker feeling."

"It is.  It will take some charging to work at full strength.  That may take me up to a week, dear."  He smiled at him, nodding his chin at the folder.  "I should charge you for this."

Xander stood up, giving him a look, pouting at him.  "Please, Ethan?" he pleaded, stroking up his chest.  Ethan shivered.  "I won't bother you at all for *months* and you can put that wig on Faith again," he teased.  "I won't mind at all."  Ethan swallowed.  "I'll even keep protecting you from the person who wants you dead for double crossing them."  Ethan whimpered and nodded.  "Good boy, Ethan.  Now get my necklace back for me and I'll send you," he leaned in closer to lick up his lips, "pictures.  Maybe of me in a bikini?"  Ethan broke out in a sweat.  "Or maybe even dirty pictures?" she said, looking up at him from under her bangs.  He shivered and nodded, disappearing to do that for him.  Xander sat down, looking at his boss.  "Who wants to take the pictures?"

"I will," Jigen said.  "We'll make sure they're tasteful."

Ethan reappeared with the real necklace, putting it on Xander's neck and letting him get the clasps.  She turned back into Sylvia.  "How's that?  The other was a copy."  Xander stood up and pressed him against the wall, kissing him so hard that he went limp and gripped the wall to steady himself when he was let go.  "Pictures," he moaned.  "Please."

Xander nodded, tossing her hair back over her shoulder.  "Of course.  In any particular form?"

"Redhead.  You.  Modest looking," he requested.

"Athena.  Of course."  Ethan groaned so he called down the photo album of looks and aliases he had worked out, finding the picture for him.  Ethan pointed at two of them then swallowed.  "I didn't know you had a thing for Buffy."  Ethan frowned.  "Thinking about asking Ripper for a three-way?" she teased.  "She has been rather needy and Cleveland is *so* boring," she purred, moving closer to him again.  He whimpered and accepted his kiss.  "Thank you, Ethan.  Ask me if you need anything," she whispered.  He nodded and disappeared, going to put Faith into that silver wig Xander had left with him. He was going to get some use out of it and her tonight.  Xander sat down, properly feminine in her carriage, and smirked at Lupin.  He tossed down the book.  "Those are the ones I've worked out looks and back stories for."

Murami looked at him.  "You're nearly there," she noted.  "There's something a little off about you, Xander.  Maybe it's how your features have stayed.  Try rolling your shoulders back."  She did so, making her t-shirt stretch across her impressive chest.  "That's it.  You're acting like they're hurting you."

"They do.  They're fucking huge," he told her, making her laugh.  "I don't know how those women with implants and natural size G's do it, but C's hurt me."  She nodded, giving him a pat on the wrist.  "Do I pass otherwise?"  She nodded. Xander grinned.  "Thank you, Murami."  She looked at her bosses, licking her lips.  "Didn't someone promise me ice cream with chocolate sauce?"  Lupin raised his head, looking at her.  She stared back.  He swallowed and nodded.  "Good.  How about a snack later?  Just a scoop?"  She looked at Jigen.  "Or two?"

He nodded. "I could use some ice cream."  He noticed Lupin was busy staring at the book.  "May I?"  It was handed over, showing him the picture he had locked on.  "Hey, that one looks like Fujiko as a blonde."

"That's what I was going for," Xander agreed.  He saw Fujiko lean over, then give him an impressed look.  She buffed her nails on her shirt, smirking at Murami.  "See, we're more fun than a stuffy office."

Murami smiled and nodded.  "You are.  I'll need copies of your usual aliases to put them onto your cards and things."  Xander presented it to her out of the back of his book.  "There's a lot here."

"In order of use," Xander said.  "Usually I use Sylvia.  She's the one Zenigata likes so much."

Lupin growled.  "He what?"

"While he was drunk, he said he liked me with my silver hair as a woman, followed by me as a redhead.  He doesn't seem to like me as a blonde or a brunette.  Though he didn't seem to mind it so much in Cleveland.  Did you know he blushes?" he asked Lupin.

Lupin stood up, grabbing Xander and pulling her up.  "We'll be right back, after we talk about this," he announced, carrying her off.  He locked them in his study, kissing her hotly.  "You aren't his."

"I know I'm not his.  No matter how much he wants he'll have to go with Dawn," she agreed, plucking at his shirt.

"He wanted you?"

"He got hard when he looked over my shoulder," she admitted, smiling up at him.  He took her mouth again, robbing her of her breath.  "Lupin," she moaned, leaning against his chest.

Jigen opened the door, waving the old credit card of Xander's.  "It's not polite to run out of a meeting for nookie."  He kissed Xander himself, making her moan and arch toward him.  "Hush, later," he ordered.  She nodded, licking her lips.  "Then we'll talk about those pictures."  He took her by the hand, leading her back to the dining room.  "He's sorry about that."

"I'm sure he won't have her in front of me," Murami said, giving Lupin a look.  "At least he carried her off."

"I had to," Lupin defended.

Goemon handed Xander his son, watching as his precious one was cuddled gently against the soft chest.  "That is the picture you should send Ethan.  So he knows you are taken."

"He knows I'm taken," she promised him.  "Ethan Rayne never appreciated me like this until he lost me."  She stroked the baby's hair, making him nuzzle her.  "No, I'm still not a food source."  The baby let out a disgusted sounding sigh.  "I know, it sucks to be you sometimes," he agreed, staring down at him.  "Poor Ishi."

Murami gave her a gentle smile.  "You do look like a natural at that, Xander," she assured him. "You've got that 'motherhood' glow around you."

"He'd better not," Lupin and Jigen said in unison.

"Not that one.  Fujiko has that one," Murami told him, rolling her eyes.  "The one that shows how comfortable she is with the baby in her arms.  It's clear she's very comfortable in the nurturing and protective roles."  She pulled something from her briefcase.  "I nearly forgot that.  From someone.  It showed up in my mail without having gone anywhere else."  She touched Ishi's hair as she stood up and locked her briefcase.  "Here ends your fiscal year.  Xander, storage building?"

"Go ahead and keep it in there," he agreed quietly.  "Thank you for the raise too, Murami. I'm sure it'll come in handy."  She nodded, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  "Should I send stuff that's not poppies next time?"

"No, I like poppies.  We used to have some near our house."  She shook everyone else's hand.  "If you need me, yell again," she told them.  She let Lupin show her out, leaning against his side.  "Have her do it," she said quietly.

"She can't."  He shrugged.  "It panicked her when she saw Ishi born.  She asked Goemon to kill her."

"I'm sure he won't if she changes her mind."  She gave him a pinch on the chest.  "Think about it.  It would be perfect.  It would suit you both and Jigen might be tempted into having one of his own."  Lupin shook his head, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  "Fine.  Tell me when you've got one so I can do the paternity test and set up a trust."

"Of course.  Thank you, Murami."  She nodded, getting in and driving off.  He waved, smiling after her.  Then he went inside, going to kiss Xander again.  "She suggested you bear the heir to the Lupin name."

Xander shook her head.  "Not unless you want to bury us when Goemon splits me in half."

"I told her that.  She said you'd be a natural."

"I'll steal a kid like me some day and raise them right," she repeated, getting comfortable.  "I think someone's asleep again."

"Thankfully," Fujiko sighed.  She put her head down.  "I'm tired.  I think I'll go take a nap."

"I was heading to the store," Jigen admitted.  He stood up, handing Lupin his folder.  "Put that away for me, okay?"  He got a nod.  "Anyone need anything?"

"I need a sucker, one of the herbal ones," Xander ordered. "I had sniffles this morning for a few minutes."

"Fine.  Anything else?"  No one said anything.  "Good.  I'm off to make the liquor run.  Behave while I'm gone."  He walked out, heading to the store.

Goemon stood up and picked up his wife.  "I believe I will put her into bed."  He walked her up the stairs to their rooms, laying her down and watching her.  Something was definitely going on in her body.

Lupin looked at Xander.  "You two want to play here or do something else?"

"I need to do more research on my sword," Marcus offered.  "Xander?"

"I'm satisfied where I am."  Lupin nodded.  "Go run around with Jigen."  Lupin smirked and ran off to catch him before he could leave the grounds. Xander looked at Marcus.  "I can handle him, go have fun."  Marcus smiled and headed for his favorite spot, the library.  He even had a phone in there now, in case someone needed him. Xander got comfortable, putting her feet up onto the chair next to hers.  "You sleep, baby.  We'll be comfy together."  He heard something through the registers and smirked.  The guys should be in the store soon.  Once she was sure they were, she picked up the left cellphone and called Lupin's. "Hey, maybe you should bring home an 'opps' test just in case."  She grinned.  "Go down the aisle with the female stuff in it.  You there?  Look around for a box that says EPT."  He chuckled and hung up.  "She is getting sick.  I think you're going to get a little sister, Ishi. Won't that be great?" he cooed softly.  The baby made sucky faces at him so Xander stuck his thumb into his mouth.  "There you go, use that instead of me."

***

Lupin knocked on Goemon and Fujiko's door, finding her alone like he had planned.  He walked in, pushing her back.  "We need to talk," he announced.  She looked clueless.  He had watched her for the last week, he was sure the test was necessary.  He grabbed her by the arm, making her made frightened noises.  "You're not acting like yourself," he told her, walking her into the bathroom with the bag from the store.  He handed it over.  "Either you use this or I'm tying you down and using your blood."  She opened her mouth, looking hurt.  "I can't plan for you being able to do things if you're puking your guts up.  Now, do it."

"No!"

He swatted her gently.  "Now!" he ordered.  She looked scared of him.  "I mean it, Fujiko.  If we have to, we'll need to get you somewhere safer sooner this time.  So take the stupid test.  If it is, then we'll have some planning to do.  If not, then we're getting you back on the pill."  She looked hurt but still looked stubborn.  "I'll be outside the door," he said, stepping out and closing the door.  He heard something break but she did pee into something.  He walked back in, putting the tester into the cup, frowning as it turned to a small plus sign.  He looked at her, noticing she was really pale.  He managed to catch her before she hit the ground, carrying her out and putting her back into her bed.  Then he went to cap the test strip and carry it off to the study.  He tossed it at Goemon, giving Xander a look.  Goemon made a startled noise.  "I put her back in bed when she passed out.  Be gentle with her," he ordered.  The samurai looked at him.  "What?"

"I have not touched her without protection."

"Sometimes they can have micro breaks," Xander offered.  "There are plenty of babies born from the condom breaking.  Do you want her to wake up alone?"  Goemon shook his head, heading up to talk to his wife.  "I'm not delivering this one," Xander said once they were alone.

Lupin chuckled.  "I hope not."  He gave his young man a light kiss.  "Are you going to be so solicitous when I have to have one?"  Xander nodded.  "Thanks, kid."

"Welcome, boss.  So, how are we going to do this new one?  I'm not sure I could sleep with someone for the job.  She's stuffed up so I doubt Goemon will let her out of his sight for a while."

Fujiko yelled from upstairs and something crashed.  "I'd say she's not pleased," Lupin noted.

"I doubt she'll be pleased with the little girl," he said wisely, going back to his game of solitaire.

"Girl?" Jigen asked from his corner.

"Girl.  I had a fortune teller read mine for kids I would interact with.  If she carries this one through and it's female, look for it to be needing an Ethan sort of teacher."  He grinned at the shocked looks.  "There are real seers.  She said Fujiko might not make it through this one, but there would be another one in about five years."  He moved another card.  "Oh, Lupin, third one will be a boy."  He checked his spares and laid down something, getting another stack free. "Kinda unexpected, but very welcome at the time."  He moved a King down, then picked it up and put down one from the other color since that would suit his purposes better.  "Jigen, strangely enough she didn't say anything about you."  He looked up.  "Said yours was blocked from her."  He shrugged and went back to his game.

"And yours?" Lupin asked.

"That's how I'm sure I'm going to be stealing or adopting one some day.  She saw me training two students.  One when I'm really old and I have white hair instead of silver.  He'll carry on the group when the kids get tired and retire.  The other is the girl in Russia.  The only little kid she saw was a girl.  Fairly powerful.  That's all she could see.  Her future was blocked off as well."

"Hmm."  Lupin sat beside him, helping him with a match.  "When did you have this done?"

"Before I got onto the train," Xander admitted.  "She called on me."  He stole a kiss, then looked over as Fujiko stormed in.  "It'll be a girl if you manage not to miscarry," he told her, grinning slightly.  "I'm very sure of it."  She looked hurt.  "You're the one who's been napping nonstop for the last week and all that other good stuff."

She shook her head, walking out to go shriek in the range, shooting off a clip before she loaded one and shot her husband.

Xander pulled something out from under the couch, handing it to Lupin.  "For her.  It'll help."

Lupin stood up, shaking his head as he headed down that way.  "Fuji, Xander got you some chocolates," he said from the doorway.  She glared at him.  "We already knew," he said gently.

"How did he know?"

"Because Xander is very observant.  He's noticed the same things."

"And the part about the girl?"

"He called on a seer apparently," he said dryly, handing her the box of chocolates.  "Whoever it was saw some troubles for this one being born."

She put down the gun, looking at him fully.  "I'm not leaving the group."

"As long as you know you're in danger," he told her.  She nodded.  "Then I'll accept it and I won't tell Goemon."  She nodded, losing the stiffness to her back.  "Enjoy it while possible, princess.  We only want the best for you and him."  He left her there, going back to the study.  Xander was hugging Goemon.  He looked at him and Xander shook his head.  "Congratulations, Goemon, but this does cause a small problem."  Xander sat Goemon down.  "We'll have to have someone sleep with the next target," he told him.  Goemon's eyes narrowed.  "That's the problem."

"I'm not sure Xander can fake it well enough to make it convincing," Jigen offered.  Xander nodded, giving him a wry look.  "Now Fujiko can't."

Goemon relaxed.  "I do not want to be jealous."

"I'm doing it," Fujiko said, lounging in the door.  "Then I'll go hide."  Her husband looked at her.  "Jigen's right, for once.  Xander can't act well enough to fake it that way.  She enjoys it way too much to ever settle for anything lesser.  You guys ruined her for that part of the job."  She strolled in, patting Xander on the head.  "Thanks for the chocolates.  Scoot."  He got away from her husband.  "Thank you."  She sat between them, crossing her legs.   "How long will this one last?"

"Up to a month," Lupin winced.  "Which means you might start showing," he told her.

"In that case, I probably should do it," Xander offered.  Jigen gave him a look.  "I knew it might come up when I put the choker on."

"Yes, but the choker will become noticeable," Jigen pointed out.  "Usually no one would care, but someone who doesn't know and watches you never take it off will probably start to wonder."

"Which leaves it up to me for long term stuff," Fujiko pointed out.  "Unless we can talk someone into it."

"I don't know anyone who I can talk into it," Xander admitted.  "Lupin?"  He shook his head.  "Then can't we ignore this target?"

"It was a request," he told them.  Everyone groaned.  "From the current head of the European Syndicate, Dolune's son-in-law."  Jigen shook his head and slumped down.  "Which brings us back to our next problem.  Fujiko's pregnancy.  Otherwise I'd have no problem sending her in if she agreed."  Goemon gave him a look.  "Only if she agreed," he offered.

"You've got sucky timing," Jigen noted.

"It's not like I planned this," she said harshly.

"Of course not.  He's been very careful with you," Jigen reminded her.  "How would that have happened?"

"Sometimes condoms break," Xander reminded him.  "I've had that scare myself.  That's why I ended up at the doctors and found out about the scarring.  I had an accident with Anya and only realized it afterwards."

Jigen nodded reluctantly.  "Those do happen.  I've had a few of those myself."

"Enough.  It does not matter how it happened or that it did," Goemon said firmly.  "Now is the time to lessen the risk to whichever female goes.  If this man is dangerous, I do not want him near either female."

"Unfortunately not an option," Lupin sighed, sitting down.  "The bastard has Dolune's signet ring."  Everyone but Xander winced.  "He's been trying to use it to gain and claim power."

"Which can cause a major rift and cause us problems?" Xander asked.

Lupin nodded.  "That and Dolune was more or less my mentor when I was first starting out.  I owe the old man and his family.  I wish it was a simple matter of snatching the ring, but it's not.  He never brings it out unless he's showing it off.  No one can get a meeting with the guy.  No one has seen him with the ring unless they've been in his employ.  The person they were getting information back from is now dead.  He was found last night.  He's trying to consolidate his power."

"Would it look bad if I hunted around for information?" Xander asked.  "You said yourself that people expected me to move for power."

"He loathes the whole group, Xander.  We're in his way," Lupin told him.   "We're loyal to Dolune and the rightful heir.  That's going to get us killed if he's not stopped."

"Can't we take him out and let the ring resurface?" Fujiko asked.  She didn't like this now that she knew.  "Is it Cummings?"

Lupin nodded.  "It is.  I have no idea where he is.   I know he likes you.  He's wary of Sylvia; he may have found out the secret.  I haven't heard how he feels about Lavelle yet."  He shifted in his chair.  "He's the former second-in-command to the present title holder and it wasn't enough for him.  He's not been the nicest to the underlings so most of them don't support him.  Most of the freelancers won't support him unless it's in their better interests.  But if he has the ring, he can claim Dolune actually chose him."

"Which creates the friction," Xander said, seeing it now.  "So, how do we play this since a straight out assassination won't work?"

"First, we get Fujiko away from us," Lupin said miserably.  "That's the part I don't like."  Goemon grunted, not liking it either.  "He likes her.  He wanted her in the past.  She's about the only person who's ever told him no and not ended up dead."

"He's rough on his women," Jigen put in.  "I've seen a body come out of his house the last time we were up against him."

"That was his housekeeper," Lupin assured him.  "Most of his women are treated like gold, until he's bored with them or he loses his temper."  He looked at Xander.  "I would be much happier if it were you, but she's right.  We have spoiled you.  You can't fake it and he's got no style to speak of."

Xander shrugged.  "I can still try.  It's not like I can't kill him."

"We still need the ring.  Whoever has it holds the power," Lupin reminded him.

"What about the non-human element?" Goemon asked.  "There are some exquisite creatures among them."

"Cummings is a little bit xenophobic.  If it isn't African, he doesn't want it, with the exception of certain blondes," Jigen told him.  "He had his accountant fired because he found out he was Carribean, not African."  Goemon winced.  "How many others are on this?"

"There's a general call for the ring.  No one else has specifically been set up."  Lupin shrugged.  "I'm stumped."

"I don't know enough," Xander offered.  "But I will be watching her so her husband and you guys don't have to."  Lupin gave him a grateful look.  "Consider me the intermediary if you have to.  Or, like I said, I could try to set up a meeting on my own.  For some reason, that stupid rumor has persisted and there's no telling what he's heard."

"Can the choker be camouflaged?" Jigen asked.

Xander shook his head.  "No.  It'll react against the magic it's using.  It'd be like covering a plug in plastic wrap before plugging it in."  Jigen groaned.  "Dawn?"

"It's not that bad yet," Lupin told him.  "Leave her where she is.  I like her there.  There's every chance that this may be one of those times when Zenigata will end up being the rescue party.  He has in the past during times like these."

"I remember when Dolune died," Jigen agreed.  "That was a mess."

"We have the opportunity to stop this one from becoming a power struggle.  We need to take it, if for no other reason than we all owe Dolune."  Everyone nodded.  "That leaves Marcus here with the baby."

"No, not here," Xander said firmly.  Lupin looked at him.  "Not alone, not here.  Somewhere safer and more hidden.  People do know where we are."

"People always have," Lupin reminded him.

"Yeah, but if we're in their way...."  He trailed off.  "I'm all for sending him and Ishi to LA at the moment.  At least this creature wouldn't be able to get the baby there.  Angel would protect the baby, if not Marcus."

"He can go to the hideout in Japan," Jigen said firmly, not liking that plan.   He wanted to have a talk with the vampire some day.  "I agree.  Cummings is animal enough to try and take out Ishi to hurt us."  Goemon nodded briefly, he could agree with that.  "Marcus isn't exactly the warrior we need though."

"Then send the father and him with him," Xander offered.  "Short of us having to slice our way in there, won't guns be more efficient this time?  That will give us them as a backup and it would look reasonable for him to show up to reclaim his wife."  He frowned and held out a hand, muttering something.  He held it up to show Lupin.  "Yours?"

"No, not mine," he said, taking it.  "Can you erase it?"

Xander took it back, feeding magic back through it to the receiver.  He felt someone die and winced, then nodded, tossing it away.  "Whoever was listening is gone.  Their mind was fried."  Lupin looked at him.  "I can't tell otherwise, boss."

"It's a risk we'll have to take," he decided.  "It was closer to you so he probably got more of you anyway."  Lupin stood up.  "All right.  I need you all packed and ready to go soon.  Xander, I'll need you to carry both.  Put everything else into storage," he said, looking at them.  They all nodded, heading to do that.  Lupin stopped Xander from leaving.  "I'd let you go," he promised.

"I know.  It's the job and business is different from pleasure.  I'll work on my acting skills."  He shrugged.  "I can't fake it worth a damn though.  I already know that.  I've had to do it in the past."  He walked out, heading to pack.   He opened his closet marked 'Lavelle's clothes' and stared at the serious suits.  Six of them went onto the bed with coordinating shirts already included.  Sylvia's traveling wardrobe was already packed.  He added a few things to that, then put that inside his other bag.  He hung the bag on the door and started packing, putting everything into the trunks he had.  Those things were just too handy not to have.  Besides, they packed and stored nicely.  He left one suit out for himself and his weapon's bags.  They were packed last and everything else was put away.  Loaded with a single clip just in case he needed to grab one.  He heard the knock and got up, heading over to open the door.  "Hey.  Nearly done.  Let me put away the cds and then change."  He walked over to his dresser, ejecting his cd's from his player, then tossed them into their cases and into the last weapons trunk.  He slammed it closed and looked around the room. "Done, let me dress."  Jigen pulled him close, giving him a hug.  "Thanks."  He looked up him, giving him a gentle kiss.  "You be careful.  I'm not losing you to some slimebag."  Jigen smirked and went to finish his own packing.  Xander picked up his favorite suit and hung it up, going to shower and do his hair.  Lavelle was pissed and his other half wanted out to play.

***

Xander walked into the hotel he would be staying at, nodding at the desk clerk.  "Room under Smith?" he asked.  She looked at him.  "Don't bother trying to identify me for whichever agency you work for," he said quietly.  "I'm in town for a bunch of meetings, not to cause trouble."

"Yes, sir," she said, handing over the form.  "Is your first name really Luger?"

He grinned, making her blush. "No, but it's useful."  He signed the form in the name he was using.  This hotel was a known mafia hangout.  "Which room, babe?"

She blushed brighter.  "Room 1120, like you asked, sir," she said, handing over the key.  "Do you need help with your bags?"

"Nah, I've got 'em," he promised, heading that way to put down his suit bag so he could get his weapons stash up there too.  He was only wearing the one and it made him nervous.  Lupin had also entrusted the listening equipment to him.  He found someone in his room and nodded.  "And you are?" he asked dryly.  "I know I didn't call for a guest and you're not like who I usually get for bootie calls."  He put down his suitbag and looked at the man.  "Who are you? Speak now or live in pieces of bloody tissue."

"Lavelle," the man said quietly.  "Close the door."

"No, thanks though."  He crossed his arms.  "You've got five seconds, I don't know you."

The man nodded, standing up.  "I am not him, Lavelle.  I am on the side of your boss for the most part."  He gave him a small smile.  "I am the one who sent for you to come here, to this tiny burg in Germany.  Now do you believe me?"  Xander shook his head.  "Then call Lupin."

"You call Lupin," he said smartly.  The man glared at him.  "The only people I trust would have his cell number.  If you don't, then I don't know you and that makes you a legal target in my book.  I don't care if you *the* Godfather.  Or Al Pacino," he said with a small smirk.  "Got it?"  The man nodded, starting to smile again.  "Good.  Now out if you wouldn't mind.  If you want to speak with me, then you go through the regular channels."

"Of course.  I understand.  You are loyal to your lovers."

"I'm loyal to my bosses," Xander told him.  "Nothing more, nothing less."

"If you say so, but others have noted otherwise."

"Yeah, well, people have all sorts of funny ideas about me," he said with a deathly calm in his voice.  "Ta-ta."

"I'm going.  Expect a lunch invitation soon."  He walked out, heading down to call Lupin from his car.  He smirked when it was answered by Jigen.  "Your boy is quite the firecracker.  Doesn't trust anyone, does he?" he said in greeting.  He laughed.  "Yes, this is he, young man.  Hand the phone to Lupin.  I wish to speak with Lavelle on a more personal level and he said I had to go through your boss."  The phone was handed over.  "Ah, Lupin the Third," he said with a fond sigh.  "Your boy is dancing a dangerous game.  He refused to talk to me."  He laughed at the disrespectful comment.  "I see.  Quite a job you've done raising him.  He said I had to go through you to talk to him.  He is very loyal."  He smirked at the comment.  "Good.  I like that.  I would like to meet him on a less hostile field of play.  Invite him to lunch for me next week."  He raised an eyebrow.  "What do you mean no?"  He listened to the reasoning. "I see.  Yes, that does come first.  That's fine.  Sometime soon then.  Bring him around for lunch or tea."  He hung up, looking up as the boy came out to his car, grabbing two hard-sided cases and a large duffle bag. "Hmm.  Quite the bit of packing he's doing."  He started his car and pulled away from the curb, looking in the trunk as he passed by.  There was another bag.  Nothing that would get stolen there however.  He drove on, heading back to his fortress.  That little encounter had made him more anxious than ever to talk to the boy.  Loyal people were hard to find these days.  A few ...quirks could be overlooked for the right person.

***

Xander set up on his windowsill, looking at the house up the street.  Clear line of sight.  Perfectly clear to three of the six downstairs windows.  There were people moving around.  He couldn't see them that clearly, he needed a higher powered scope on this rifle, but he could see people and Fujiko had only brought bright colors with her.  The others were all dark blobs.  He saw her walk up to the door, then knock.  That was a trashy outfit he hadn't seen yet.  He glanced back, grabbing his other scope, but turned in time to catch the person opening the door.  "Megalomaniac," he hissed.  "You never answer your own door.  It's dangerous.  People like me are watching."  He put on his headset, listening to Fujiko stammer convincingly.  He'd almost think she was scared shitless instead of just nervous.  Then again, maybe she was.  He listened to Cummings fawn over her, not believing a word of it.  "Bullshit," he muttered, grabbing a piece of jerky to chew on.  He checked the settings, just to make sure he wasn't broadcasting.  They had gone silent all of a sudden.  He smirked as another body walked up to them, a little kid.  "Really?  Maybe I'll find him a good home."

Fujiko said something flattering about the kid and pulled out her own pictures of Ishi.  He asked why she had left her safe spot and she explained how she didn't want to be a baby factory.  Yes, maybe another some day, but she wasn't ready to fully leave life yet.  He led her into a sitting room that he couldn't see into so he changed his scope, smirking when he got some pictures off the tv in one of the rooms he could see.  "Much better."  Fujiko was drinking something now.  Hopefully she had taste-tested it first.  She made the bold move, saying how she wanted to check which side was going to win.  They had only had the one conversation and she wasn't sure if she wanted to leave Europe alone totally or if she wanted to stay around for this one.  He laughed and came over.  Xander could hear him touching her, the drag of his skin on hers was audible.  "Yeah, of course she'll want to stick around for this," he muttered.  His receiver squealed.  She explained it as a pendant her husband had given her upon the birth of their son.  He seemed to accept it.  He didn't break the antenna, the chain, so it was still on her.  He could hear her moving.  She said something about needing a break from married life and asked him if he had anything that needed her skills.  He seemed to be smirking as he said he had one thing.  She said something smart and he laughed.  Then he heard kissing.  He put down his jerky and nearly took off the headphones but he was her only backup in this situation and he had to be listening.  Even if it was sickening and he was sure she'd be taking a long, hot, scrubbing shower later.

***

It had been three days and Xander was still alone, listening.  Four hours of sleep a night was enough for him but he was emotionally worn.  That guy had more sex than him.  It was really disgusting; some of the things he said during it were not only filthy but perverse and should be eliminated from the English language.  His cellphone rang and he picked it up.  "Yeah?"  He smiled. "Hey, yourself.  Anything good?"  He smirked.  "Really?"  He laughed.  "Good.  Fine with me.  Have someone come take my spot."  He hung up, waiting until someone came up to take over.  He apparently had been called in for a meeting with the dirty bastard.  Jigen walked into his room and he waved.  "They're having lunch."

"Good."  He came over, taking the headphones from him.  "How bad is it?"

"Bad.  That guy is disgusting.  She'll need to soak off the filth later."  He went into the bathroom, taking a shower.  He had to be presentable when meeting with potential mafia bosses.  He came out and found a suit laid out for him and Lupin pacing.  "Thanks, boss."  He stopped him, giving him a hug.  "It'll be okay.  She's not caving yet.  She's only had one hitch and it was over Ishi.  Since he's got a kid in there with him, he said he understood how hard it must be for her to leave her son in the hands of that, and I quote, abnormal thing you married."  Lupin grimaced.  He gave him a pat.  "I've recorded everything but the sex so far.  You don't want to hear it."  He got dressed and stepped into his loafers. He grabbed his wallet and his pistol.  "I'll be back."  He waved his room key.  "Leave me a message if something happens."  Lupin handed him his phone. "You're sure?"  He nodded. "Okay.  Your call."   He headed out, heading to the restaurant that he had been ordered to show up at.  He sat in the booth that had been reserved, sipping his beer gently.  By his third one, he was fairly upset.  The guy was really late.  He started to stand up but the waiter came back and urged him to patience.  "Lavelle waits for no one," he said calmly.  "Especially not arrogant people who call meetings and then don't show up."  His target walked in through the kitchen and he gave him a look and a snort.  "Car break down?" he asked.  The dark-skinned man with the long braids and the fit body did not impress him.  He looked like he was posing as he walked.

"Sit, young man."  Xander gave him a look. "Please."  Xander sat, getting comfortable.  "Lavelle.  Some say you're very good."

"So I hear," he agreed.  "So my teacher says.  It's your quarter.  Speak.  Preferably now before I lose what little patience I had."

"Would you treat other bosses this way?"

Xander nodded.  "If they had kept me waiting that way, yeah, I would," he said honestly.  "It's apparent you don't respect me so why should I respect you?"  A ring was shown to him and he shrugged.  "Yay, it's a ring.  It's an ugly ring at that.  Is that a swan?"

"It's a loon," the man said, looking into his eyes.  "What they said was true.  One's not quite right."  Xander reached over, squeezing his windpipe.  "Never mind."  He was let go of.

"And that concludes our session.  I don't deal with rude people.  I have more than enough talent to get anyone on this planet to hire me if I want to go solo for a bit.  You have no one thing I might want."

"Including Fujiko Mine-Ishikawa?" he asked smugly.

"While I like Fujiko and I adore her son, this is her thing."

"That's fine, then how about this.  I've got the keys to the Sicilian family vaults."

Xander laughed.  "And get my ass killed by every wannabe cappo in the world?"

The man grimaced.  "You're not likeable, young man."

"As I said, why should I respect you if you can't show respect enough to be on time to your own meeting?  Your problem, not mine.  The train is leaving and the people are waving and sobbing as their dear ones are departing.  Got anything else?  I really would like a cheeseburger today."

"Why are you in town?"

"Because I'm tracking Fujiko for her husband as a favor.  And yes, I do know where she is," he said dryly.  "It was very apparent when I followed her up to your front door.  That was a really loud jacket she had on, wasn't it?"  The man swallowed.  "Anything else?"  His phone rang.  "Hold on."  He answered it, weathering the gasps from the other people.  "Yeah?  Fine."  He hung up.  "My boss has something that he needs retrieved.  You've got fifty seconds."  He pasted on his 'interested' face.

"Fine.  I have something that I need you to shoot.  Someone actually."  Xander shrugged.  "It would get you free of whatever they have over you, kid. You could be so much more.  More than what they've let you become."  Xander quirked up an eyebrow.  Lupin had reminded him he was supposed to be interested.  "I can give you anything you want.  Even your freedom from the life."

"And I trust you why?" Xander asked.

"Because I keep my promises.  This ring means that I'm in charge of the European syndicate."  He tapped it a few times.  "I know you don't play our politics.  You're too American for that.  Speaking of, what part are you from?"

"Which year?" he asked dryly.

"I heard outside LA all your life."

"Hmm.  Got Gramp's files on me?"

The other man laughed.  "Yes, actually, I did have someone hack in there.  Did you know your file is now larger than Lupin's for him?"

Xander shrugged.  "Gramps likes me.  He's on some redemption kick.  And?  Did you find it interesting?"

"Fairly.  He had some stuff in there that was told to him, clearly rumors.  He also had some stuff that no earthly being can do."  Xander shrugged.  "You're not concerned?"

"Why should I be?"

"Then why don't you tell me how you turn into your alter ego?" he said, leaning closer.  "I noticed that you're always wearing the same necklace."

"She's my sister."

"You don't have a sister, Mr. Harris."

"No one said she had to be a sister of blood.  She's a sister in misfortune.  We served together in the trenches."  He stood up.  "Lay it out now, please.  Who, when, and how much so I know how long to debate and get back with you?"

"Who? Your bosses.  All of them.  Including that nasty little stodgy person who's training under her husband.  You can have the son if you want to raise him."  He crossed his arms, looking at the young man.  "When?  Within the next month.  I know you're one of the few who could take your teacher.  How much?  Name it."  He waved a hand.  "Within two days please.  Here."

"Fine."  Xander walked away, heading back to his hotel after getting a burger.  He knew he was being tailed, the stop at the newspaper shop had shown that.  Not that he wanted a paper, but they came in handy sometimes.  He continued back to his hotel, taking the message up to his room before reading it.  Lupin knew.  He said to pretend to take the job.  He called him.  "No."  He hung up.  He turned off the ringer.  He sat down to watch some more.  This was getting worse and worse by the moment.  That was not part of the plan.  He could not shoot Jigen.  Nor could he shoot Lupin.  There were days when the thought of shooting Marcus and Goemon had crossed his mind, this was not one of them and he was not going to be the one to raise Ishi alone.  Someone knocked on his door so he walked over, disabling his trap and letting his boss in.  "No.  I can't shoot you.  I'm sorry, but I am not qualified to do that," he told Jigen.  "Not even with something nice."  Jigen put a hand to his lips, nodding around the room.  Xander picked up and waved the scrambler, making him frown. "Yeah, stole that too."  He grinned.  "Smart, huh?"

"It doesn't always work."

"It does in here.  The room's too small for anything else."  He waved it around, getting a single beep near his jacket.  He had expected that.  He walked it around, not finding any other devices.  This was the latest technology from the CIA, stolen and sold on the black market.  Not even they had things that could get past it.  "No."  He sat down, going back to his watching.  "Can't I just shoot him now? He had the ugly ring on."

"No. Lupin said we've got to wait.  Lure him into the open.  He doesn't like Fujiko being in there alone or the kid.  He thinks something's off about him."  He walked over, touching him on the back of the head.  "Sometimes the job calls for hard decisions."

"No.  I can't shoot you.  There may be a fine line between business and pleasure, but you are my mentor.  You've taught me everything I know.  I'm not hurting you.  Nor am I hurting the only other person in the fucking world who understands me."  He looked up, seeing the stunned look.  "Think about it, could you have shot your mentor?"  Jigen shook his head.  "Then don't try to make me do it.  I'm not as tough as you are on some things."  He heard a shriek through the line and looked over there, frowning.  "He's not a happy camper.  Teach you to be on time next time."  He laughed.  "She said the same thing."  He glanced up but Jigen was gone again and the door was closed.  He paid more attention to the feed, listening for sounds that she was in immediate danger.  He heard a shot, but her voice came immediately afterwards, reminding him of the child.  Then she took the child out of the room so he didn't have to see more of that.  She locked him in his nursery and then locked herself in their room.  "Another life you'll owe for," he muttered.  "No more destroying innocence for you."  Someone else knocked.  "No habla German," he yelled.  Someone knocked a second time.  He took off the headphones and covered everything, walking over to answer it.  "Yes?" he asked the maid.  She handed over an envelope and bowed and nodded a few times before backing away from him.  He closed and locked the door, going back to his post while he read it.  Listening would be enough for now.  She was crying and he groaned.  "Fuji, talk," he ordered quietly.  The message was a long one in Arabic.

Someone was warning him he was in danger.

Good.

Nice.

Too late, but very sweet of them.

***

Xander looked up as his breakfast space was invaded, glancing around to see how many heavy hitters had come with the man this time.  The last time, the whole restaurant had been full of them and it was obvious.  This time, there was only one and he was wearing a familiar pendant.  He looked at his uninvited guest.  "I didn't make myself plain enough by not answering?"

"You did.  I understand why you can't shoot your teacher. I was loathe to do it too, you get a nasty reputation."

Xander nodded.  "True, plus I have more I could learn from them.  I still suck at locks."  He ate a bite of his Egg McMuffin.  "Want one?" he asked.

"No, thank you.  That's bad for you."

"Yeah, but as an American I find myself missing fast food now and then.  It's not the same in Paris.  Or even here, but it's closer here."  He took a sip of his juice.  "So why are we meeting again?"

"Because you're the only one who can get to them."  Xander shrugged.  "You're also the only one who can set up a meeting between us."

"I'm still loyal."

"I know.  That's why I won't ask you to betray him."  Xander chuckled.  "I have a new reason in my possession."  He pulled out his phone and showed him the picture of the little redheaded girl on the screen.  "Look familiar?  Named Tara I believe."

Xander sipped his juice.  "What about her?"

"I've got her.  She'll be safe."

"Like your son is?"  The man's jaw ticked.  "I heard the gunshot and then heard Fujiko screaming.  Hiding outside your house is really easy sometimes."  The man's tick got worse.  "Now then, I'm still not going to harm my bosses for you.  Not even for a sweet and innocent little girl like Tara.  And if you've harmed her, then you've got bigger problems than me."

"Oh, that Summers woman?"  He snorted.  "Taken out easily.  She does have children."

"Which one?" Xander taunted.  He looked confused.  "Ah. You really don't know.  Is she a blonde or a brunette?"

"Brunette."

Xander burst out in giggles.  "You're going to get past all of her bosses to get her?"  The man scowled.  "Oh, I wanna see you try that.  Gramps is not gonna be happy with you, but maybe you'll get him another promotion out of the field.  Dawn would like that," he said smugly.  The man started to glare at him.  "You have no idea what you just touched," he sneered.  "If you release Tara now and send her to Dawn, she might spare your life.  If not, I'm not betting on you living out a year.  I wouldn't touch her if it were me and I *know* Dawn.  I have since she showed up."  The man grimaced but he was still trying to glare.  "Really.  Fair warning.  Tara is protected by some pretty strong people.  The least of which is Dawn.  That's not counting Faith and Ethan.  That's not counting Ripper.  Or Buffy.  Or even me.  I'd let her go now were I you."  He finished his juice and took another bite of his sandwich and chewed.  "Your life of course," he said before took his next one.  "And even if I did set up a meeting, it'd be at a very steep price."

"Like I said, I've got access to the family vaults," he told him.

"And is that going to be worth more to you than your life?"  The man looked stunned.  "I can almost guarantee that a meeting between you and Lupin is going to raise your blood pressure at least twice as much as I do."  He took another bite, looking interested.  "But I'll pass it on," he promised.  "For a high fee.  Tara is sent back to Dawn and you pay me six million."

"For setting up the meeting?"

"Yup.  Baby care is so expensive these days.  They need all sorts of shit like you wouldn't believe."  A few of the patrons were looking at them.  "Again, train, station, waving bye- bye."

"Two," he growled.

"Deal.  When?"

"Tomorrow night.  I'll send a note to your hotel."  He stood up, stalking out.  Xander nodded at the second, sending him a quiet thought to leave town before he got caught up in it.  The man slumped but followed after his boss.  He watched as the fancy German car pulled away, waving with a cheerful smile like they were old friends.  Then he finished his breakfast.  "At least that will pay for Fuji's care if she or the baby needs it," he noted, picking up his tray and tossing everything away.  He went to his car and noticed his alarm was off.  He looked in the back, then shook his head, deciding to walk instead.  The engine started and he let himself be pulled over in an alley, getting in to ride instead.  "I wasn't sure it was you."

"I noticed.  Nice check."  Jigen parked, turning off the motor and handing over the keys.  "Lupin said to quit pissing him off."

"I'm naturally aggravating.  Or doesn't he remember?"  Jigen frowned at him.  "There's now a meeting, tomorrow night sometime.  I'll be getting a note later."  Jigen nodded, closing his eyes briefly.  "That's as far as I'm going."  Jigen looked at him.  "I mean it."  Jigen nodded.  "I don't act, I'm me.  Remember that."  He got out, tossing back the keys.  "Here, you take it.  I need to call Dawn anyway."  He went to the nearest payphone, calling her ICPO office.  "Hey, Gramps," he said happily. "Put Dawnie on.  Because one of her nieces was kidnaped and I've arranged to have her shipped back to you two.  Now.  Yes, right now."  He tapped his foot.  "Remind me to shoot him the next time I see him," he told her.  "Tara's here.  No, I can't tell you.  Because I can't.  We're solving this time, okay?  Just be on the lookout for her."  He hung up, going up to his room.  He found the note on his bed, smirking at the terse handwriting.  "Well, what did you expect?" he said.  "Me to play nice?  The guy would expect something to be up.  I'm not known for nice.  Or for sweet, gentle, or innocent."  He crumpled it up, going back to his post.

It had been too long and Fujiko was way too exposed now.  He was hating this more by the second.  He heard the gunshot and winced.  Her voice came on, complaining that she was trying to sleep.  She went to check on the kids first, easing his mind.  The little boy had apparently been picking on Tara because Fujiko snapped at him about it.  The boy sneered and said something nasty to her about being his father's whore.  So she did what any good mother would do, she turned him over her knee and paddled his ass in front of the guards.  "Way to go, girl," he said in appreciation.  She was made to let him go by someone grabbing her but the boy was sobbing pitifully and she said something to him. Apparently she was taking Tara with her.  She slammed the door in the guy's face, making him yell.  "Honey, watch those hormones," he whispered.

He winced as the door was kicked in, letting out a little growl as Tara screamed.  Fujiko yelled at him about his son being a little fucking monster and terrorizing this younger, innocent girl.  The guy sneered at her and she gave it back.  Then he slapped her.  "That's your only gimme," Xander warned.  Tara screamed and the guy yelled, so she must have bitten him.  Fujiko picked her up, her sobbing became clearer as the adult told him to leave her alone.  He told her he was shipping her back and Fujiko said maybe she should go with the girl, make sure she made it there alive.  The man sneered at her about going soft.  She spat acid at him, that tongue of hers could get sharp when she was on a rip about kids. He stomped off and Fujiko sat down and talked the girl out of her panic.  The psychic guard came in and told her to give the child to him.  Fujiko demanded to know why.  He stepped closer and whispered in her ear, a message for Xander.  She relented and told Tara he was going to take her to her auntie now.  That she had to be very good for him.  Then she wrote out a phone number and gave the girl some change, telling her to call that when she was back in Paris so her aunt could pick her up.  The girl nodded, taking it with her.  Fujiko threatened the man and he said something too quietly to be heard.  Then they left together. Fujiko took out her frustration by throwing something.  Something that went crash very satisfyingly.

***

Xander sat on the hood of his car, blowing a bubble in his gum.  The idiot Cummings was walking up to where he was.  "You wanted to meet here?" he asked.  Cummings nodded.   "Good, then they're in there," he said, pointing inside a warehouse.  "They're not dumb."  He blew another bubble.  "And I'm staying out here to deal with any...discrepancies with the plan."  Cummings sneered and Xander put his gun on the hood, making him back away.  "Lose it or lose it for good," he warned.  "I don't put up with little boys without a clue."  He pointed at the door.  "In there."

"I'm older than you," he sneered.

"I'm thirty-one, you're twenty-eight, and I've been in war zones.  You wanna debate further?"  The man backed away from him.  "Last chance.  We can all leave and do this fun exercise in stupidity again if you want, as long as you pay me again."  Cummings stomped that way, slamming the door behind him.  Xander dialed his cell, getting Dawn immediately.  "Is she there yet?"  He smirked.  "Good.  Keep her.  Tell Faith to stay."  He hung up, stuffing the phone back into his pocket.  "Excellent in fact."  He looked up, grabbing his gun and sighting on the sniper trying to get him.  He was in the shadows.  The guy was overhead and leaning out.  "Amateur," he called, hitting his rifle.  The man yelped and jumped.  Xander stood up, doing the walk-through course, the live version.  Seven bullets, six targets.  No civilian casualties among the homeless making their residence here.  He walked into the meeting area, swinging his gun around and whistling.  "I'm sorry to say I found a sniper, boss," he reported.  "It's handled."

Lupin looked at him and nodded. "Thank you."  He looked at Cummings again.  "You tried to take my man."

"I *own* you, Lupin."

Lupin laughed.  "The only person who *owns* me is my Grandfather and he's dead.  By what right do you claim ownership?"

The ring was flashed.  "You have to obey it."

"No, I took orders from Don Dolune because I liked the old guy.  We worked well together and he mentored me.  I owe Dolune's chosen successor, which isn't you.  I was there when he gave the ring over."  Cummings sneered.  "He passed you over then and he still would if he were here today."  Jigen grunted, nodding.  "So, either give it up and run, or else."

"Or else what?  I've got your girlfriend."

Xander felt something nudge the back of his neck and he ducked, hitting the guy in the abs.  "Did I miss you?" he taunted, kicking him in the jaw.  The man moaned and he looked at him again.  "Do I look like a girl?"

"Today, no.  But we all know you're really Sylvia."

"No, not even close.  Sorry.  Her choker was much the same as some of my scars.  A gift from an unkind keeper."  Cumming's eyes widened so he looked behind him.  "Out."

"No," Zenigata said, shaking his head.  "I'm here to arrest you all."

Xander sighed, pulling up his gun. "Don't make me, I'll never hear the end of it."

"She'll kill you, boy."

"Only if I kill you."  He lowered it, shooting him on the side.  The cop fell, clutching it and moaning in pain.  "I warned you, just like I did the guys in LA.  Fortunately, you'll live if you leave now."  He looked back at his boss.  "Call a cease fire?" he suggested bitterly.

"For now," Lupin agreed.  "Tomorrow, and I'll pick," he said, walking away with Jigen.

"Not following?" Cummings sneered.

"Not this time.  Next time."  He strolled off, blowing more bubbles.  He was even nice enough to drag Zenigata outside and leave him lying there with his homing beacon on.  "Next time, listen," he ordered, getting into his car to drive off.  Cops were converging on there anyway.  He'd be fine.  He picked up his cell, dialing Lupin's.  No answer.  He left a voice mail.  "Sorry.  I didn't see him, I didn't know, my fault fully.  I left him with his homing beacon on.  It was a shallow wound."  He hung up and headed back to pack up and move to his secondary target.  It was closer.  He wanted to be closer now.

This was the most dangerous time yet.

The guy didn't realize he didn't have the ring anymore.

Lupin did.

***

Xander walked up to the idiot's front door the next morning, nodding at the guards.  "I'm here with a message for Fujiko.  Now if you wouldn't mind.  I hate wasting my valuable time."  One of the guards called inside and she came to the door.  "Hey.  New message from the spouse."  He handed over his cellphone.  "Play the video and keep it."  He grinned, watching as she smiled at the baby flipping over.  Cummings came to the door.  "Sorry, messenger boy today.  Her baby flipped over by himself.  Very advanced of him at his age."  Cummings snorted and tried to take the phone, but she closed it and glared at him.  "Let her keep it.  It's the only comfort she's got since she fucked up this time."  He bowed and backed off.  "Lupin said 3, 66th street.  You'll know where."  He walked off, going back to the main sidewalk.  He kept an eye on the proceedings as he walked away.  He didn't like this.  He saw Cummings backhand her then go for an abdomen shot and pulled his gun, firing over the guy's shoulder.  He walked back, nodding at all the guards.  "Sorry, she's mine now.  Lupin promised me I could have her when you tossed her."  He looked into her eyes over the top of his sunglasses.  "Come on, babe.  You're my bitch now."  He walked her off by hauling on her arm.  His car was only a few feet outside the gates.  He got her into the front.  "Emergency room?" he asked.

"Please.  I'm not feeling good," she admitted, holding her stomach.

"Did he manage to hit you?" he asked as he started the engine.

"I woke up in pain this morning.  I don't know what he did while I was asleep.  He said I was getting fat," she said, starting to cry.

"Shh, princess, it's over now.  He touches you over my dead body."  He got them moving, taking her to the only hospital in town.  He parked in front of the ER doors, getting out to lead her inside.  A nurse said something to him.  "She's pregnant," he said in rapid French.  It should get some attention.  Another nurse came running.  "She is pregnant.  Her kidnaper tried to hurt her.  Her husband is on his way now.  She is about four months along we think and in great pain in her stomach."  The nurse nodded, leading her away.  Xander walked over to the payphone, dialing Lupin's.  No answer.  Jigen's.  No answer.  He tried Goemon's.  No answer.  Marcus' then.  That got a smart answer.  "He hurt Fujiko, she's in the hospital.  There's only one in town and Gramps is here too.  They're not answering, I scared the bastard.  She woke up like this," he sighed, hanging up.  Then he went back to stand with her, putting a hand on her stomach.  "It'll be okay, princess.  Even if this one isn't meant to be, it'll be okay."  She looked up and removed his sunglasses, making him lean down to kiss her on the forehead.  "I'll stay until someone else gets here."

"Thank you," she whispered, clutching his hand as the nurse came back with a needle.  "Is that good for pregnant women?" she asked.  The nurse nodded, sticking it into her IV.  Then the nurse said something about him moving his car. He looked at her and she nodded so he went to do that, coming right back in.  He found someone in there with a wheelchair.  "Hey.  Move."  He got him out of the way, touching her stomach again, willing it to be okay.  "Shh, I'm here," he promised.  She nodded, taking his hand to hold again.  "What did you want, Zenigata?"

"I wanted to see how she was doing.  That was fucking dumb!"

Xander glared at him.  "You had a better idea?  None of us liked this one."  He shook his head.  "Then go back to your room before you cause more problems."  He opened his mouth.  "I don't even know where they are, so move."

"Fine.  I'll be getting out tomorrow.  I can take her back to Paris."

"No.  No, you can't," Xander told him.  "I'm taking her wherever she needs to go to get to her husband.  Period, end of comment."  The inspector looked at him.  "I am a fierce bitch when it comes to my family.  If I could have, I would have been there instead and we both know it.  Now go away before I lose my temper on the defenseless."  The inspector snorted but rolled himself off.

Fujiko squeezed his hand.  "I'm the one who's supposed to have the mood swings."

He nodded.  "I know, but sometimes you just gotta do it."  She nodded, closing her eyes.  He went back to stroking her stomach, hoping he was helping.  Where was the doctor?

***

Lupin looked up as their new hotel door opened, letting Jigen in.  "Anything new?"

"Xander's not in his room.  Where are our cells?"

"I left mine in the car.  Why?"  Jigen sighed and went down to find it.  He came back a few minutes later with both of them, handing them over since they said they had five messages.  He listened to his, wincing.  The second one made him sit up and growl.  The third made him hang up and call the hospital.  "The man with the silver hair who brought in the woman.  How is she?"  The phone was handed over.  "Xander?"  He heard the relief.  "Yeah, they're coming.  How is she?"  He covered his eyes.  "No, you did the right thing.  It's plausible.  It's believable.  Pops wasn't your fault."  He listened, looking stunned.  "He did?"  He looked at Jigen. "Pops offered to take Fujiko to somewhere safe."  He shrugged, sitting down to wait.  He would be told soon.  "Yeah, you did good.  Just right.  No, stick with the plan.  I want you there.   They'll be here by then.  Yeah, he's already called.  No, I forgot it in the car last night."  He sighed and hung up.  "Zenigata said this wasn't our brightest plan yet."

"I knew Xander only grazed him."

"Took out some of the love handle on one side actually," he admitted.  "He said so.  Fujiko may or may not be fine.  The doctor finally got there and couldn't tell what had been done to her so far.  He was letting Xander stay because he glares very well and told him he had rescued her from a kidnaper for her husband .  That he was a private security guard.  He's staying with her.  He took her when he hit her the second time, said I had given her to him to be his bitch now.  Goemon's on his way already." Jigen nodded.  "That leaves us down someone today.  You ready?"

"Yeah.  I wouldn't mind Xander's stash though."

"He's in the Ramada up the street.  Room sixteen something.  Checked in under Luger Smith."  Jigen smirked, going to find his room.  Lupin called Marcus back. "I just talked to Xander."  The phone was handed over immediately.  "Calm down.  The doctor said there's a chance everything will be fine.  Xander's staying with her."  He sighed in relief.  "We could use one of you. Can you get here by three, local time?"  He looked at the clock. "It's nine-twenty now."  He waited while the phone was handed over.  "Hi.  I'm one of the guards who was sent to retrieve his wife from some kidnapers.  She's just been rescued, she's in bad shape.  She's going into surgery at two.  Can you find him a way to get here?  Oh, and the sword, it's for the child she's carrying, it's a traditional birthing gift in his family.  No, not the emperor's, another noble family that intermixed a long time ago."  He smiled.  "Thank you.  Yes, both of them.  The Brit is his guard.  We're a team.  Thank you.  If he doesn't have it on him, have him call me right back, I've got a copy of his credit card."  He hung up, groaning and holding his head.  "It's times like these that make me want to retire," he complained.

"At least the ring is gone," Jigen said as he walked back in.  "The clerk found him.  Did you want anything?"

"Something for my head."

"Got it.  When are they getting here?"

"Two.  And I'm not sure which is going to be worse," Lupin admitted.  "Goemon almost cut up the ticketing agent."  He looked at him.  "They'll be flying in, due to get here at quarter to two.  Xander's staying with her.  Both of them are out for blood."  Someone knocked on the door.  "What?" he demanded.

"Special delivery," Xander called.  Jigen opened the door so he walked in with his bags.  "She's in surgery.  He cut into her cervix last night."  He sat down.  "I replayed the tape, there's nothing."  He handed over the cd he had burned of it.  "For future reference.  His guards have now tripled and are carrying automatics.  His psychic second stayed in Paris." Lupin looked at him.  "I couldn't stand to pace there anymore.  I was going to start smoking.  A nice nurse offered me one."  He stood up when he heard footsteps outside the door.  "Fuck me.  Cops?" he asked. "Who ordered an assault team?"  He opened the door.  "What?" he demanded.  The cops backed away from the one hobbling up to them.  "You wanted what?"

"I'm paying back you saving my life in that fucking quake," he said bitterly.  "You're crooks, but you're not presently wanted so I guess it's all right for now."

"Go back to bed and live to chase us another day then," Xander told him.

"Sit, boy," Jigen ordered.  He patted him on the back.

"I'd rather you were watching Fujiko," Lupin told him.

"So would I but the hospital said only he," he said, pointing at Xander, "could be there because someone faxed over medical power of attorney in his name."

"Then I guess I'm headed back."  Xander opened his bag and took out three handguns, checking the clips.  The other cops looked nervous.  "Boss, instructions?"

"Protect her first, hospital second," Lupin ordered.  "If she's out of surgery, I want you to tell whichever one of them is coming and then hurry to help us."  He nodded, walking out again.  "This is really not your fight."

"This man killed six cops in the last month.  It is my fight," Zenigata told him.  The other cops grumbled.  "Even if I do have to work with a crook who's managed to disable his file in the database."  Jigen snorted and shook his head.  "When and where?"

"Subtlety is important.  Can they?"

"They can be.  They're local."

Lupin looked at them.  "We'll be on 66th Street at three."  They nodded heading off.  He looked at Zenigata.  "Pops, you look horrible."

"He only winged me, I'll be fine."  He smirked.  "I'm sure your little helper will try to pamper me horribly.  If not, that Faith girl might."  He smirked.  "Now, give.  So I don't have this embarrassing debt hanging over my head."

"He saved you?" Jigen asked.

"We were upstairs, the ceiling collapsed.  My rookie was unconscious from Xander's boot.  He got us out of there and outside."  He looked at Lupin again.  "Got anything brilliant?"

"Actually, I am having a brain storm.  Jigen, I still need that aspirin."  He nodded, heading to do that.  "Are you even armed?" he demanded.

"No.  Give me something."

Lupin looked in the bag, pulling out a lightweight pistol, checking it for him.  "Here."  He shook his head.  "You white lighters, always jumping in."

Zenigata snorted.  "And what do you call that boy?"

"Which boy?"

"The older one.  Xander.  Former white knight?"

"Former," Jigen said as he returned.  He handed over the packet.  "We set?"

"Nearly.  Let me finish my plan."  He leaned back, closing his eyes to think.  "Stare at each other, not me."

Zenigata looked at Jigen.  "Doesn't it bother you that he fucked my nephew?"

"He told us about it."  He shrugged.  "He said he left him for you as a present.  Thought you might be grouchy less often."

The Inspector laughed.  "Sure he did.  He's still got that spark of niceness in him that not even you two can take away."

"Yeah, but he likes taking down the other bad guys," Jigen smirked.  "It's fun to him most of the time."  The inspector rolled his eyes.  "What's wrong, Pops?  Worried we'll *corrupt* him?"

"No, I'm worried that he clung to you out of gratitude.  He was a good kid."

"Yeah, and then he turned into a good man, and then he was used by his friends.  Then he came to save me, not the other way around," Jigen told him.  Zenigata looked impressed.  "I had to keep him after that.  He was just too damn sweet to leave there."

"Have a lot of fun with him?"

"Not when he's male."

Zenigata blinked at him, whimpering.  "He does that for you?"

"Yeah, only Lupin really loves him when he's a guy.  I can't swing that way."  He shrugged, sitting down to check the other guns.  "You gonna stand there and stare?"

"No.  Give me a bag."  He sat on the other bed to work on his own bag, loading what needed bullets.

***

Goemon walked into the Wolf's Head Cafe and nodded at his friends.  "Where is the creature who dared hurt my wife?" he demanded.

"Whoa, man, calm down, big guy," Jigen said, backing away from him.  Goemon's hair was sticking up on end.  He wasn't sure if it was static or if Marcus had hit him with some power, but he looked bigger, stronger, and more pissed than anytime in the past.  "Lupin, small problem," he called.

Lupin looked back at him. "He'll be here soon.  Sit, Goemon."  Goemon looked at him. "If you want him before I get him, then you'll calm down and sit for a few minutes.  You're early."  Goemon nodded, taking a seat in the empty diner.  "Is Marcus with her?"

"He is," he agreed shortly. "The doctor was not optimistic at the moment.  Xander was doing something to her stomach and Marcus joined in.  Hopefully it will help my future daughter."  He stood up as the door opened, admitting a few people.  "Him?" he demanded.

"No, Cummings.  Dark-skinned guy with a weave," Jigen told him, patting him on the back.  "They're minor players."  Goemon gave them a hard stare, making them shudder.  "Where's your boss?  Scared?"

"You're not Lavelle either," Lupin said as he stood up.  "Where is he?"

"Coming.  He's running late."

"That seems to be a habit of his," Lupin pointed out, lighting up.  "Jigen, shot?"

"I'm fine for now," he said.  He looked at the two minor players.  "I'd leave.  You hurt his wife," he said, nodding at Goemon.  He heard the sword click loose and they ran.  He laughed.  "Good job."

"What does this cretin drive?"

"Dark blue mercedes.  He sits in the back."  Goemon walked outside and soon there was screeching.  "Ow.  A car engine again?"

Lupin shrugged.  "Apparently it's working for him."  He walked over to stand closer to the door, watching as the people ran to get away from him.  "Yup, he's pissed."  Jigen nodded, taking the cigarette to take a few puffs. "Good job," he encouraged.  "Soon you'll be up to a whole one a day."

"I'm not going any higher than a pack," Jigen said firmly.  "Should we stop him before he kills Cummings for us?"  Xander appeared outside.

"I think that's our cue," Lupin said, heading out to get behind him. "Have a nice jump?"

"Teleported," Xander said, glaring at the man backing away from him.  "Hold it, Goemon.  There's a higher authority at work now."  The samurai looked back at him.  "No, there is.  He's hurt more than Fuji."  He lifted his chin.  "Who called upon me to judge this man!" he yelled.  Something big and slimy came out of the shadows.  "Why did you call upon me as a consort?" he demanded.

The demon hissed.  "Because he has tried to exterminate us.  As he is under death sentence anyway, let us have him."  It hissed again.  "He has much to pay for.  He has slaughtered our children as mutant humans."

"You are," Cummings snorted, raising his pistol.

"Bad idea," Xander said, stepping forward.  "Have you ever seen hell?" he asked conversationally.  The man looked at him like he was insane.  "I have.  Been there, done that, did it for nearly nine months actually."  He crossed his arms, looking at him.  "Not only was I there, I think you'll like it."  Cummings laughed.  "Oh, don't worry, you won't be there for the same reason I was.  You'll be there so you can be paid back for every child you've hurt, including Goemon's.  If you're lucky, they'll count that as a half since she's technically still alive at the moment."  Cumming's mouth dropped as a portal opened behind him.  "By the way, say hi to the things that like to come lay on you and whisper to you about what you'll be going through.  I'm sure you'll enjoy them as much as I did.  Not only that, but the higher things, they just *love* newbies.  It's like prison, only worse.  I sentence you to atone.  Goemon, the honor of first cut is yours.  Then the others get him."  He stared the man down, daring him to make a move.  He tried to shoot him so he blew off his hand, making him moan and hold the remains of his wrist.  "Now, before it sucks him in, Goemon."

Goemon walked up, then suddenly pulled his sword and opened the man's pants for him, making him scream.  "Now you will not touch another wife or child."  He looked at the demon.  "I hope you find peace from this."

"As I hope you do as well," the demon agreed. "May your child live since mine didn't."  He walked the man through the portal and it snapped shut behind him.

Xander slumped.  "Ow."  He stood up, holding his back.  "Okay, I want a really good backrub," he demanded.  He patted Goemon on the shoulder.  "He's paying like not even you, I, and Ethan together can make him," he promised.  "There are things in there that will beg to eat at the cut you made."  Goemon looked sick.  "Sorry.  TMI."  He hobbled back to Lupin's side.  "They've got her stabilized.  Marcus is doing major magic to help support them.  I'm going to pass out now," he announced, doing just that.

Faith hopped down, handing Jigen the pendant.  "Destroy that, 'kay?  Otherwise he can be brought back.  It flashes out, not up."  She bent to look at Xander.  "Hey, bright boy.  Wakey-wakey."  He weakly swatted at her and she grinned.  "Yeah, big girly-man.  Get up."  He winced.  "What?"

"Pain," he told her.  "Ow.  Bad things.  Sounding familiar?"

She nodded.  "Yeah, I've had a few of those myself."  She hauled him up, lifting up the back of his shirt to look at his back.  "A few of the old injuries reopened.  You should be mostly pain free by tonight, Xander."  She gave him a hug.  "Wicked justice, buddy.  Encore?"

"Nap," he said firmly.  "Then I'll help Marcus taint the little girl some more.  That way she loves me best," he said firmly, looking at the father.  "If she lives, she's going to need an Ethan sort of teacher."

"That is fine.  There are many mystics in Japan and whole schools of magic."

"Cool beans.  I gotta take Dawn's man back to her.  She said so. Oh, she's not *really* pissed at you because you shot him.  She figured you were savin' him and all, but she said to expect a frog with warts in the mail."  Faith strolled off, picking up Zenigata and carrying him off.  "Sorry, boys, you can't play with him anymore.  His girlfriend wants him back and she is *the* fierce bitch.  She makes me look normal and nice.  He's the only thing that tames her into a normal chick."  That stopped all the laughter.   If he could tame a woman like that, the man deserved their respect, no matter how he left the scene.

Lupin lifted Xander's shirt for himself.  "How did that happen?"

"I opened the portal," Xander said with a wince.  "Can you not do that!"  He swatted at him.  "Ow."  He frowned at him.  "Be nicer to me."  He walked away, shaking his head.  He looked at one of the cops. "He's abusing me."  He continued on.

The cop looked at his boss.  "Was that an assault report, sir?"

"Usually, no, but since these are the people who have managed to erase *most* of their warrants around the world, I'd accept that.  Get them."  He turned but the thieves were gone.  "Shit, find them!" he ordered.  "First man who does gets the reward and the smallest is a thousand Euros!"  All the cops went running, chasing after them.  Marcus changed shape, laughing as he strolled off.  He met up with his comrades back at the hospital, siccing a nurse on Xander.  "He was hurt saving her," he told her.  "He's refusing to let us look at him.  Would you please help him?"

She nodded, and being a big, strong German nurse, picked him up and carried him off to force her attentions on him.

"Meanie!" Xander yelled.  "See what I get you for your birthday, Marcus!"  He yelped as she sat him down and pulled off his jacket and shirt over his head, making him look at her. "Please don't hurt me," he whimpered.  "I don't like women that much."

She laughed, clouting him on the shoulder. "That is a good one," she said, turning him to look at his back.  "What did they do to you!"

"I don't know.  It was some funny energy weapon," Xander lied.  "I'm fine.  Really.  Just slap some neosporin and a bandage on it and I'm good to go."

She laughed.  "Another good one.  Jah?"  He sighed and nodded, letting her tend to his back.  "You are famous, jah?"  He nodded.  "Who are you?"

"Lavelle," he said, grinning up at her.  "World renowned gunman."

"You came for her?" she asked as she pulled out some cotton and some alcohol.  "On the table."  He groaned but did as she said.  "What else is bleeding!"  He had left a puddle in the chair.

"Nothing," he said quickly, covering his ass.  "I promise, it's not something you can heal."  She gave his head a shove and called for a doctor, making him groan pathetically.  "I've had worse, really," he promised.

She snorted.  "Men."  She liberally doused the cotton ball and attacked the marks on his back while they were waiting for the doctor.  "Babies, all of you."

"Jigen, help!" Xander called pitifully.

"Next time, let us work on them," Lupin called.  He walked in, looking at the chair.  "What else did you hurt?"

He looked at him. "It's an old injury, thank you."

Lupin leaned down, kissing him gently.  "Let the nice nurse take care of you," he said in Arabic, "or we're bringing her home with us to take care of you." Xander quit whining right then.  "Thank you."  The nurse looked at him.  "You understand me?" he asked in Arabic.  She nodded.  "Good."  He smirked and walked off, going to check on Fujiko.  "Another old injury seems to have opened.  I'll have to be gentle on him tonight when I lay him out for me."  Jigen frowned at him.  "I called it first."

"I haven't had any in longer."

"That's your fault," Lupin smirked.  "Maybe when I'm done you can soothe Lavelle into a long cuddle or a bath."  Jigen frowned at him so he moved into the room.  "How is she?" he asked, patting Goemon on the back.

"She will be fine.  They will release her tomorrow so she can go home and rest."  He looked at him.  "We left the baby with Dawn."

"I'm sure she's fussing over him greatly."  He gave him a gentle squeeze to the arm.  "Why don't you take her home with Ishi?  To your home."  Goemon looked startled.  "I'm not up to anything.  Xander's injured again.  Jigen's starting to smoke again.  At least until she's healed.  The nearest hospital is closer there than it is at my house.  You can get her to the hospital from your place within minutes, running with her on your back."

Goemon nodded.  That made sense to him.  "I will do so.  Are you coming over?"

"You want us to?"

"At least to the hideout over there?  The technology fair is next month," he reminded him.

"I wouldn't mind that and Xander does need a reward."  He smirked.  "Think he'd like to break into some of the big anime producers and look at their private files?"  Goemon laughed, shaking his head.  "So we'll be there in time for the technology fair.  By then, you should be ready to scold her.  Xander should be healed.  I should have Marcus shaved by then."  He looked at the scruffy young man. "I didn't know you were old enough to grow a beard."  The boy blushed.  "You're how old again?"

"I just turned eighteen," he admitted quietly.  "I'm sorry I lied about my age, but I felt it was necessary.  I won't go back to that house."

"Fine.  Good.  At least you didn't get us arrested for traveling with a runaway.  I'm good with that.  I was on my own by your age."  He gave him a gentle squeeze.  "Did you want him to go with you, Goemon, or stay with us?"

"Let him stay with you for a while.  I wish him to learn more of this magic.  It is dangerous when he is upset."  He looked at his wife's hair, it was now sticking up in odd ways.  She would hate it if she had been awake to see it.  His own had finally calmed down when his anger had dissipated.

"Sure," Lupin agreed.  "I want Xander to know more too.  They can be study buddies again."  He nodded Marcus outside.  "You can hug her stomach later, but Xander's already claimed that this one will love him the most."  He walked Marcus out to Goemon's laughter and Fujiko's complaining.  Then she shrieked something about her hair, making Goemon shut her up.  "That okay with you?"

"Of course.  I would love to raid Ethan Rayne's library," he said, drooling.  "It holds some of the most powerful books known to mankind."

"We can probably do that," Jigen agreed as they joined him.  "The doctor found a small tear. So I guess you're not getting anything tonight," he said smugly.  Lupin held up the choker, making him groan and try to grab it.  "That's my treat."

"It can be mine too," Lupin defended.  "She's not nearly the blushing virgin everyone thinks she is.  At least not anymore."  He strolled in, kissing Xander on the head.  "Behave and I'll give you back your favorite toy before we go raid Ethan's library for you."  Xander looked up and grinned, nodding at the thing in his hand.  "Do you trust us?"  Xander nodded.  "Then either Jigen or I will put it on you this time."  Xander grinned again, loopy on the pain killers.  "Did you remember to tell them you can't have opiates?"  Xander nodded, giving him a patient, yet happily stoned look.  The doctor looked at him, silently asking what he was doing in there.  "He's my friend," he explained. "That's an old injury, it broke open while he was fighting with someone earlier."  The doctor nodded, going back to his work.

***

Ethan Rayne opened his bedroom door and walked down to his library, smirking at the men browsing and the one hugging a bookcase. "Did you need something?" he asked dryly.

Lupin looked at him, then hauled Xander up, finished locking the choker on him, then shoved him at Ethan.  "Hold my boy."  He went back to browsing.  "We're training him and Marcus."

"Then the bookcase Marcus is hugging would be the best choice," he noted.  He looked down at the stunning redhead in his arms, salivating over her.  She looked so adorable asleep that way.  "Ah, precious," he purred.  He started to remove him but a warm hand on his shoulder stopped him.  "Oh, the other one," he said bitterly.

"You can look, but you can't touch," he said, holding up a tape.  "Her, in Vegas."  He strolled over.  "I found the herb stash and the crystals.  What did you want out of it?"  Marcus gave him that same worshipful look.

"Looking at her is not payment enough for stealing all my things," Ethan complained.  Xander murmured into his skin and nuzzled his neck, making him ache as he got harder than he had been in a while.  "This is mean, Mr. Lupin."

"Yeah, isn't it though?" Jigen smirked.  "And tonight, I'm going to take him to bed and fuck the memory of you out of his head.  Little girls like her should be more pure."

"I have a spell to do that," Ethan offered quickly.  "If you'll let me tape it."

"It does what else?" Marcus asked, glancing at him.  "Dear Lord, put some real pants on that boy."  He looked up.  "Why me?   I am not a nudist and I seem to be surrounded by them and forced to participate in their strangeness."

"Call unto Janus," Ethan told him smugly.

"We've got a statue in the basement locker," Lupin told him.  "It came when Xander called.  It talked to me."

Jigen looked at him.  "That statue talked to you?"  Lupin looked smug as he browsed another book.  "What did it say?"

"That I was one of his too, but that we had to protect Xander for him or else."  He smirked at Ethan.  "I guess that's your reward for clean living?"

"Janus, why do you do this to me?" Ethan demanded, looking toward his work room.

"Because you lost me my second favorite priest," Xander said in a deeper than usual voice.  "Retrieve him and all that you want will be yours."

"Even the boy?" Ethan asked.

Janus laughed and shook his head.  "The boy is promised already.  He is my balance.  I like him," he purred, leaning up to kiss Ethan.  "Retrieve my lost one for me, Ethan, and the world is yours.  Lose him again or make him turn from me totally and I will give you away to my next high priest as a toy.  He will be it," he said, pointing at Lupin.

"As interesting as that offer is, I don't want it.  I'm a little too busy stealing things," Lupin pointed out.  "It's a little hard to offer libations to a statue when you're on the run."

Janus made Xander's lips pout.  "Fine, I will name another. You are amusing though and the boy makes it more so.  The things I have seen have been very arousing."  He looked at Jigen.  "Perhaps you should let him redo the virginity spell.  It would make him much happier. You can make his first time special this time instead of something odd at a convention with people pretending to be important to the world."

"Perhaps," Lupin agreed.  "That would do what to him?"

"It would make him forget certain events, as I willed it," he admitted.  "This body should always be under another, never topping unless demanded to.  He likes that.  It is his best and favorite position.  You are both strong and he likes that."  He saw the other boy blushing and laughed.  "Though your father was not one of mine, boy, you are adorable.  Will you become mine?  I could train you to take over Ethan's place when he finally succumbs to stupidity."

"I am a warrior," he said firmly.  "I may only keep a small shrine to your honor, Janus."

"You do my magic, give me the credit and I will aid you."

Marcus whimpered, looking at his bosses.  "It's your decision," Jigen reminded him.  "I don't tell anyone who to pray to."

Marcus pulled out his cellphone, calling his master.  "Master, Janus is possessing Xander, asking me to perform his magic and pray to him.  What should I tell him?"  He listened to the wise advice, then hung up.  His phone rang almost immediately and he had to listen to the rest of the tirade.  "Yes, Master. Thank you, Master."  He hung up again.  "He said I may, in the practice of magic, but not in daily life because your way is not exactly the way of the pure warrior.  Would that suit you?"

"It would," Janus admitted.  "I can see the other spirit inside of you."  He walked the body over, kissing Marcus firmly on the lips. "So are you marked as one of mine, my boy.  Take my statue in the basement and set up a small altar. I shall have Ethan instruct you personally."  The boy swallowed.  "That is a later lesson," he promised.  He walked the boy back to Jigen and Lupin, making it hug them both.  "He meant it, he is yours."  He walked the boy back to Ethan.  "Go to him now, Ethan, bring him back here.  He is ready.  He has asked for a boon.  Do not mess this up or else."  Ethan gently handed the boy to Jigen before using his demonic teleporting spell to get Ripper and bring him home.  "Ah, symmetry.  It is beautiful.  I gain one, I regain one.  I lose one and I lose one permanently.  He is no longer mine, he will call you his God now," he told the boys lovers.  "His magic is there, and he may pray to me for it for I will always desire him, but he is not one of mine.  Never more shall he be one of mine.  Though, I will be watching now and then to make sure you treat him right."

"During sex?" Lupin asked.

Janus laughed.  "Then as well.  I find it very amusing. His body is well trained. It is also now healed permanently.  Even the old ones will not come back."

Xander suddenly went limp and Jigen had to catch him, sitting him down again.  "That was amusing," Jigen said, looking at his best friend.

"Very," Lupin agreed smugly.  "Marcus, find your first ten books then let's go," he ordered.  "Before Xander has to deal with Rupert again."

Marcus began pulling the books that called to him off the shelves, ending up with four stacks of them piled ten high.  "How many of these, sir?"

"Twenty-four will fit in a box," Jigen said, handing it over.  Marcus went over each of them, then reached up to a higher shelf for another book, creating a small spot of extra space for the extra books from it.  That one went into the box as well.  Jigen smirked at him.  "Herbs and stuff?"

"Yes, I should go pull those," he agreed, following him to the work area.  His stocking run was quickly done.  Ethan had meticulously ordered his work area.  They came back and found Lupin kissing Xander softly while he sat in his lap.  "Must you do that in front of me?" Marcus asked, embarrassed enough to be blushing.  Ethan came back with his war prize, leading him back to the bedroom.  "I did not take much and I will send back the books once I am done," he called out.  "Thank you, high priest."  He looked over as a portal was created.  "Hello to you too, Dawn.  Fujiko will be fine this time."  He walked through, anchoring it at the other side.

Jigen stole Xander.  "My woman."  He carried her through and up to their room, wanting her for himself for now.  He locked them inside, using the new chain someone had installed in this room.  So what if they were in Lupin's room, he wouldn't care.  As long as he left a limp and sated Xander on the bed for him to enjoy later.  He woke her up with another long kiss, making her hum.  "If you wake up, I'll screw you until someone kicks in the door," he offered.

"Well, that's romantic," Fujiko said as she came through the hidden passageway in the closet to her old room.  Lupin had it installed for her.

"It's enough for some of us," Xander said.  "Go lay down, dear."

She laughed. "Sure I will."  She laid down beside him.  "Here good for you?" she asked with bright grin.

Marcus came out of a hidden pathway in the bathroom, smirking at them.  "Cuddling, I love cuddling," he said, climbing in on their other side.

"Has it occurred to either of you that I could care less that you're in here?" Xander asked. They shook their heads, grinning at him and Jigen groaned.  "Let me guess, you're going to be shy?"  He nodded.  "Damn it, what does a woman have to do to get laid around here!"

"Lupin," Fujiko said, snuggling closer.  "Where's my spoiling?"

"In your bedroom with your husband," Xander told her.  "You know, that big, buff samurai dude who lives to carry you around while you're stuffed up?"  She laughed.  "It's not like I get spoiled.  It's my turn to get spoiled," she pouted.

"You've got seven people who are willing to spoil you, I've only got you, Xander," she pouted back.

"I beg to differ," Goemon noted from the pathway his wife had used.  "I do spoil you horribly.  Hence your current attitude problem."  He looked at Xander.  "You do have more people to spoil you than she does however."

"Who!" he demanded.

"Lupin and Jigen," Fujiko told him.  "Pops, Dawn, Marcus, us two, Dominick, Ethan, and a few others I don't know the name of but they send you neat things like candy and cards that Lupin hides from you."  Jigen glared at her.  "And from you too of course."

"Dominick only likes the guy he thinks he knows," Xander said tiredly.  "That's not really me.  That's someone flirting. That's all that is and he knows that because he knows he's not getting anywhere with me.  Ethan does not spoil me anymore, that's not my position in his life.  While he may beg and do odd things for me, he doesn't spoil me and neither does Zenigata.  That's him on a redemption kick, nothing else."  He glared at Fujiko.  "If this is your idea of spoiling, you need to look it up in the dictionary, all you're doing is spoiling my lusty nature, dear," he said impatiently. "I haven't had hardly any at all since Jigen's birthday."

"That night on the boat," Goemon reminded him.

"Yeah, and the night you gave birth.  Ishi's how old?"  She blushed.  "Go away.  Before I turn you over my knee and spank you while your husband watches me turn your pretty ass into a bright red warm thing for him."  She blushed more and looked back at her husband, who seemed to look...interested.  She got up and slid past him, heading back to her room so she could hide from him, before he got any ideas.  "Marcus," Xander said patiently.  "How many times have I not stopped you from wanking in the bathroom to Goemon's name?"

"I'm going," he said, hurrying out.

"He does?" Jigen asked.  Xander nodded.  "That is a disturbing thought."

"Hey, it wasn't mine originally," Xander pointed out.  "It was his, he only wakes me up with it since his bathroom is on the other side of my closet."  He lifted his head, searching for compatible lips but they were denied to him.  "I can't have a kiss?"

"I'm trying to wipe that image out of my head," Jigen admitted.  Xander heaved them over until he was on the bottom.  "You wanted on top tonight?"

"No, I want some attention," Xander said firmly.  "You're still stuck in perverse samurai thoughts.  I should pout," he pointed out.

"I'm not the one who just threatened to warm Fujiko's ass for her."

"True, and I'm sure she'd enjoy it nearly as much as he would, but I want some attention, not them. Please?" he begged.  Jigen pulled her down, kissing her gently.  "Thank you.  I needed that.  I had to have all sorts of nasty stuff today.  I was possessed again and now I'm a redhead, and I had to face down an old lover who probably wanted to possess me again too." Jigen kissed her again, making her quit complaining. "And then Janus left the words to the fertility spell in my mind.  Which is really sickening when you think about it." Jigen nodded.  "So if I start babbling ....I think it's Latin, shut me up *really* quickly, okay?"

"Fine," Jigen agreed, shutting him up again.  Xander moaned and let him flip her over again.  He liked his women underneath him. Besides, Xander liked to be underneath him.  She moaned as he removed her shirt and tossed it aside, then he had to get away from her lips to finish stripping them.  This was the one place where ties and dress shirts became bothersome.  He tossed his tie over his shoulder.

"Hey!" Lupin complained as he came out of the bathroom.  "You already ran them off?"  Xander nodded.  "No fair.  I thought we could do some group bonding activities," he said with a small smirk.

"Only if your hand, your penis, and some super glue want to become meaningfully involved," Xander said smartly, arching her hips up so someone would get off the tight spandex pants.  "What day is it?"

"The convention starts tomorrow," Lupin promised.  "You can go."  Xander grinned, letting him kiss her.

"My wench," Jigen protested.

"I only kissed her."  He laid down next to her, stroking her bare stomach while Jigen ripped off his clothes.  "I can't keep her occupied while you're fighting with your undershirt?"

"No," Jigen told him.  "Go play with the baby or something."

"Dawn's not back yet," he said happily.  "That means this one can be noisy!"  He pinched her gently on the breast, making her gasp and arch up, whimpering.  "See, I did learn," he promised.  "Later tonight I'll show you all the new things I've categorized about Xander's body."  She nodded, smiling up at Jigen.

"Does that mean you'll go away now?  I don't need a critic."

"I'm not.  I learn a lot from you," Lupin said smugly.  Jigen glared at him.  "Fine, I'll go bother Marcus.  Maybe I can get him to squeak my name instead of Goemon's."

Jigen groaned, shaking his head.  "You had to bring back that mental image?" Xander demanded.  He pulled Jigen down, climbing on top of him again to kiss him senseless.  "There, there, I'll protect you from the big, nasty mental image."  Jigen laughed at that so she nipped him right above his beard.  "That's right, the Xander is here and nothing can go wrong again."  He chuckled some more and she squealed when she felt the tongue on her back.  "Lupin!"

"Sorry.  I can't resist.  I've never seen you on top."

"I like being on the bottom."  She flopped onto her back.  "If I give into you, pretty boy, will you go play?"  He nodded, smirking down at her.  "Jigen, should we humor him?"

"If we don't, he'll turn into a raving maniac at dinner.  You'll be forced to help him eat from under the table."

"It wouldn't be the first time, but this time there won't be parents involved."  She sighed, spreading out.  "Fine, have me."  He gave an evil and salacious chuckle as he moved in to kiss her.  Jigen groaned, making both of them look at him.  "Did you like that?" she asked.  He nodded, encouraging her to do more.  She shrugged and went back to her molesting the wicked mouth.  When she pulled back finally, she panted at him.  "Do you give good oral sex?"

Lupin laughed.  "Should I audition now or later?"

"Soon," she decided.  "Do it soon.  Otherwise I might have to get upset and flip you over."  Lupin looked stunned so she did so, pinning him to the bed.  "See?"  She slid her wet center over him, making him wiggle.  "Should I go shave?"

"No, no shaving," Jigen said firmly.  "That'll take forever.  Even with an electric razor."

"Besides, you'll get bumps again," Lupin reminded her. "Let us do that for you later."  She giggled nervously, so he teased her nipples, making her wiggle a little.  Not the most sensitive area on her body but he enjoyed them.  He did remember his earlier mistakes and got into her quickly, making her go off once before going into an in-depth playing with them.  By then they were standing up nicely and she was begging for anything.  He flipped her underneath him again, playing as he stroked in and out of her.  Jigen was still watching them.  "What?"

"Waiting for her to wear your tired butt out," he said fondly.  "Like last time."  Lupin gave him a shove, knocking him off the bed.  "I should take her to my room for that.  There aren't any hidden passageways in there."

"Bet me," Lupin said smugly.  "Grandfather had many hidden passageways built so we could play with the guests."  He kissed Xander, muffling her mewling noises.  He had sworn he had heard someone downstairs. He shrugged it off and went back to doing what he wanted, making sure she was kept up and ready to go again anytime.  She tried to push him up again to take control so he knew his playtime was over.  He gave her a long, sucking kiss and she responded beautifully, moaning into his mouth.  It was all he could have wanted.  It was about all he could stand though and she was still running hot.  "Should I audition now?" he suggested. She nodded, pushing at his shoulders to make him go down there.  She whined and made sucking noises while pushing up into his face.  He found her clit and it was a full meal of its own.  He liked doing this to women, driving them insane.  He heard a few unfamiliar words and Jigen scrambled up, shutting her up by kissing her.  "What was that?" he asked.

"She said Janus left the words to the fertility spell in her head," Jigen said.  "Go back to what you were doing."  Lupin shrugged and went back to his fun.  She was like the ocean above him, moving and shifting, her stomach going in waves as he teased her.

"Bite once or twice, she likes it a little rough," Jigen instructed.  Lupin looked at him.  "I am a master of her body."

"Good point."  He went back to it, nipping her gently.  She screamed and came in his mouth, making him lap it up before he was covered in her fluid.  She had another mini- orgasm and was running fully hot now.  He slid back into her, licking off his face, letting her lick off whatever he couldn't.  "Should I go on?" he asked her.

She growled.  "You had better," she warned.  He smirked and started to move again, putting her in the right position to have her clit bouncing and rubbing through his pubic hair.  It was obviously turning her on more so he let it go, putting her legs over his shoulders.  She moaned and arched up into him, making him grunt in surprise as she squeezed.  "Easy, princess," he soothed.  "I'm not leaving."  She squeezed again and he had to slide backwards.  "Xander, if you push me out, I can't do this," he pointed out gently.  She went limp and he dove back in, using everything he had to leave her too limp for Jigen to have a go right then.  How dare he steal his fun! He could feel the muscle quakes coming and sped up so he wouldn't go much after her.  It wasn't as loud as the one on the boat, but he still appreciated it because she was.  She only gave the good screams to Jigen.  He started to work her clit with his thumb and she screamed.  "That's the secret," he said happily, doing it some more.  Now he had the key!

"Arch up, her g-spot is well loved," Jigen said helpfully, stroking Xander's arms and neck.  "Leave me some, okay?"

"Sure, if it happens," he agreed, taking his time to make sure it wouldn't.  She shrieked again and again, coming hard while he was still in her.  He panted, resting for a moment. "Xander?  Want more?" he asked.  She babbled at him so he continued, making him a happy man.  Especially when she forced Jigen to let her suck him at the same time.  Yes, she loved her cock.  She was the perfect lover for them. Talented, pretty, flexible, and desperate.  He was loving every minute of this now.  Jigen got off with a muffled groan and Lupin got off from the sight of Xander licking him off her lips and chin.  She pouted at him.  "I tried," he panted, totally spent now.

Jigen teased her, making her arch up and scream, writhing under his talented fingers.  "Move, Lupin."

"Damn it, you're still going?" he complained, laying down beside her. He craned up to look at where he was playing with her.  "You're going in after me?"  Jigen nodded, doing more.  She was still screaming and shrieking in pleasure, making both old guys hornier than hell.

Jigen looked at him. "Gag?"

"Hell no, they're pretty.  What is that?"

"She's got a small nerve bundle just above it," he said, showing it off.

She glared at them. "Not...a...saf...ecracking...lesson," she complained.

Lupin kissed her.  "A woman's body is the prettiest safe of all," he assured her. "Now lay there and let us play, pretty one."

"Do you let her get away with that pretty boy crack?" Fujiko asked from the closet.

"It means she's in a playful mood and I'm going to get ridden to the edge of death," he told her.  "Out.  Now, before you embarrass her."  Fujiko shrugged and left them alone again.  He sighed and leaned down, licking up the extra juices.  Jigen swatted at him.  "What?"

"My taste and you're in my way."

"You weren't."

"I was going to," he complained.  "Now your spit's in the way."

Xander moved her own fingers down there while they fought, making herself insane.  They could watch this time.  One loud moan made them look at her, giving her hurt looks.  "You weren't."  They attached themselves to parts of her body, sucking and nibbling like she needed.  She came again, a full out, should-blow-out-my-back-when-I-arch-into-it orgasm.  Then she went very limp.

"She hasn't passed out in a while," Jigen said in appreciation.  "Why do you need help when I don't?"

"You've had her more times," Lupin reminded him, taking one side of her body while he got the other.

***

Dawn walked the blindfolded man into the house.  He had refused to let her go alone so she had called ahead and warned Goemon, asking him for advice.  He figured he owed him something so he had relented and said to blindfold and handcuff him in the car so he didn't know anything.  She took off the blindfold.  "Shh," she told him, holding up a finger.  "Let me give back the baby and then I'll drive you to your cousin's house."  She headed up the stairs, shaking her head.  He was such a worrywart.  She knocked on the couple's door, handing over the baby.  "I left him in the foyer," she said quietly.

"Good," Fujiko agreed.  "Why couldn't you slip past him?"

"He had the car keys," she told him.  "The new smart keys for my new car."  Fujiko nodded, understanding that. You couldn't even hotwire those babies.  "I swear, he stuck them down his pants, then *giggled* when I tried to get them."  Fujiko chuckled, shaking her head.  She walked in to help put the baby to bed.  "He ate about an hour ago.  He's been changed on the way up twice.  He's got a bit of a running problem but nothing that should require an ER visit.  His butt's a little chapped because I couldn't find the desitin. A good bath should help that."  She shrugged.  "He's been a great little guy since I got him and Morgan was thrilled with him.  He wanted to know when I was gonna have one."  Goemon chuckled and shook his head.  "Zenny told him it'd take a few years," she said.  He laughed harder. "I am so not wanting children," she complained, shaking her head. "Where's Xan? I wanted to check on him.  Before someone finds grumpy guy downstairs. He's still handcuffed."

"They were just making a lot of noise," Fujiko offered.  "They're in Lupin's room."

"Goodie. I haven't been in there in a while."  She hugged them both.  "Have you read the letter yet?" she asked, heading to check on her bestest buddy.  She found the door open and glanced inside but no one was in there.  "Shit."  She hurried down the stairs already calling.  "He was insistent but I blindfolded him.  Goemon said I could do it that way."

Xander walked down off the bottom stair, very naked but carrying a towel.  They were going to the sauna.  He froze when he saw the man leaning in the corner.  "You're here?" he asked.  He nodded, giving his nude body a look.  "Oh, shit," he said as he ran to get sick.

"That's the second time that's happened," Zenigata told Lupin.  "What was that nightmare about?"

"Vampire turning you both to be playmates forever," Jigen told him, shaking his head.  He heard Dawn.  "Oh, you forced her?"  He nodded.  "Blindfolded?"  He nodded again, looking a little more smug.

"Dawn, you'll have to erase this trip from him," Lupin said.  They threw rock/paper/ scissors to see who was going to help Xander this time, Jigen losing.  "Have fun, I think he's in my study. Open a window, okay?"  Jigen nodded, heading that way.  Lupin looked at Dawn.  "Why?"

"Smart key and he stuck them down his pants," she said dryly.  "He *giggled* when I tried to get them and pretended to be a shy virgin.  You know I like my guys more experienced than that."

Lupin nodded.  "I remember."  He shook his head.  "Block the memories.  We'll try to keep Xander from getting sick each time he sees him."  He heard a meow and looked around.  "What was that?"

"I think that would be the blonde and midnight black cat sitting behind you," Zenigata said, pointing at it with his cuffed hands.  "What is this place?"

"My grandfather's," he said smugly.  "Dawn."

"Okay," she agreed.  "It's a pretty kitty.  Did you finally get Xander a kitty?"

"Oh, great," Jigen said, leading Xander out.  "When did we get a cat?"

"Her name's Marmalade, she lives in my aunt's house.  So therefore you should live nearby."

Dawn shook her head.  "Not necessarily.  She could have crawled in my car when I came to save you from Mark and his stud libido."  She looked back at Jigen.  "You wouldn't believe what I had to do to save the poor guy.  Oh, Xander, that sample, they said it was *way* mutated and they think you've had chemo and rad treatments for years, that's why you've got the silver hair."  She grinned and waved a hand over his face.

"Won't work," Xander croaked.  He picked up the cat to cuddle.  "Morning, sweetie, did you sneak into the Dawnie's car?"  The cat meowed and headbutted him, licking his chin for him. "Thank you.  Did I miss a spot?"

Lupin took the cat.  "The cat is not a surrogate device and she should go back to her owner."  He walked Xander off.  "Fix this, Dawn."

"Yes, Lupin," she said, smiling smugly at him.  "Even if you know, you won't be able to tell, indicate, or even come here again," she whispered, sealing the spell with a kiss.  His face went blank and she led him outside and into the car like that.

"Where is this place?" he asked, looking at the front of the house. "It's really nice."

"I was thinking about it for the head of my new criminal empire," Dawn told him, putting the car in gear.  "What do you think?"  He looked at her and she grinned.  "What?" she said innocently.  "I have to keep my skills somehow."

"Just take me to my aunt's," he complained.

"Sure thing, Zenny.  It's just up the road.  That's the best part of the evil empire being here."  He growled and she giggled. "That's so cute.  Do you need belly rubs?"

"Who lives here now?" he asked, looking back at the house.

"No one. It was furnished for a recent movie production.  One of those chick flicks with the big dresses that you couldn't sit down in."  She shifted up again as they exited the gates, and she felt the memory spell hit him square on, then felt it hit her too. "No fair," she muttered. She only remembered that they were in this town and that she had to call first.

***

Goemon patted Marcus on the back.  "Nice job," he praised.  "Go play elsewhere.  I wish to play with my wife and son."  His apprentice bounced out, going to be happy somewhere else with his accomplishment.  He laid down beside his wife, kissing her tender stomach.  She moaned and pulled his head up, kissing him.  "I will have to control my desires to have you for now," he reminded her.  "The doctor said nothing for two weeks and I do not want to endanger either of you."  She gave him a sleepy smile and let him curl himself around her.  It would be hard but he would have to control his lust again.  He wanted a daughter, it would be pleasing to have one, even if she was like Xander, only secure in being loved.

***

Jigen floated in the hot tub, letting Xander snuggle on his chest.  "You okay?" he asked.  She nodded.  "You're sure?"

"I'm fine. I even rinsed to my mouth and used the mouthwash."  She leaned up and kissed him.  "It was the shock of seeing him standing there so smugly and arrogantly."  She shifted so she was straddling his body, making him make appreciative noises.  "Can I?" she asked, touching his chest gently.

"If you think you can tempt me that much, go ahead," he agreed. She smirked and played with his body, getting him ready for her possession again.  The best thing was there was no Lupin in sight.  He held still while she slid onto him, letting her do all the work this time.  She moaned as she rode him, but he knew it wouldn't be enough.  He moved one of his hands down, giving her clit a little twitch. She groaned, sucking a spot onto his neck.  "Easy with that," he scolded.  She had given him a few fantastic hickeys.  Marcus came running in and stopped, staring at them. "What?"

"What is it with you people and my poor mental condition," he complained.  "All I ask for is to not see naked bodies and people having sex.  I do not like the male form."

"Goemon," Xander moaned.

"Did you just moan his name?" Jigen asked, tipping her chin up.  She shook her head.  "It sounded like it."

"I was reminding him of his exploits where he moans it," she said firmly. "Not moaning it myself.  He is much too uptight for my tastes."  She swatted him, heading back to her side of the tub.  "Marcus, you do like the male form as shown by how many times you've been in the bathroom to moan over your mentor.  If you don't leave us alone to have sex in here, I'm going to tell your master about it."

Goemon opened the door.  She had sent him for some chips for her.  "I heard myself mentioned?" he asked.  Marcus looked stricken.  "What?" he asked patiently.

Xander looked back at him.  "Marcus, he asked you a question.  Don't you have to answer him?" he teased.

"I have the right to personal information I don't share," he defended.

"That is up to your sensei," Goemon reminded him.  "At this point, I wish to know of this problem."  He looked sternly at his apprentice and knew immediately what it was by the noise he made.  "I see you have found that crush still ongoing.  I fear we will have to cure that."  He grabbed his student's arm, tipping his face up.  "The spirit is still too strong within you.  We should have it removed."

"They don't get private thoughts?" Jigen asked.

Goemon looked at him and shook his head.  "Not unless the sensei wishes.  It is considered a breeding ground for impure and unworthy thoughts.  My own master was not totally like that but around certain ages I was forced to say everything that came to my mind.  It is usual for students to form a crush on their masters. We work them very hard, see them sweaty and partially naked, and they spend most of their formative years with us.  Personally, I believe if you had instituted a similar requirement with Xander he would not have had so many problems adjusting to being liked."  He drug the boy off, taking him to Lupin's office, where he could call Dawn to help them. "It is a crush, Marcus, nothing further.  I myself had one on my own sensei, even though he was not attractive.  He was available."

Jigen looked at Xander.  "That might help you," he agreed.  Xander shook her head.  "It would."

"Nope, sorry.  Not necessary."

"But if it would help," Jigen pointed out.

"Because you won't drop this and do me until I can't see, I'm going to play in my toybox.  They don't complain or give bad ideas."  She climbed out of the hottub, heading up the stairs.  Marcus ran past and Goemon had to chase him.  "I guess that's one way of dealing with the sexual frustration of not having your wife," he said bitterly.

Goemon looked at him.  "In some schools, men such as yourself would have been fixed as a youth.  That would have taken care of those urges of yours."

Xander shuddered.  "They castrate them?"

"In some schools.  Not in my own."  He shrugged.  "It does control their actions, their tempers, and the unclean desires that they have, while lowering the bouncing factor.  My own sensei thought that was unnecessary, that hard physical labor cured most of those.  I believe he was right."

"Was that what happened to that guy we met up with in Morocco?" Lupin asked as he came down the stairs dragging Marcus.  Goemon blushed and nodded.  "Wow.  No wonder he sounded gay."

"It was done before he came to my master to train," Goemon told him.  "His former master died and he came to mine.  My master never would have stood for it, but many would have done that to ones like Xander who have problems focusing.  Many good lines have been stopped by such practices against teenagers."

"You mean there are castrated ninjas running around out there?" Marcus demanded.  Goemon nodded.  "That's sickening."

Xander shuddered as he walked past them.  "Thank you for replacing the old nightmare, Goemon."

"Where is he going?" Lupin asked, staring after him.

"I believe he was headed up to put together his next lego set," Goemon informed him.  "He said he was going up to play in his toybox."  He grabbed his student.  "We should try to remove more of the spirit within him.  He is getting defiant again and it is distressing."

"Fine, call Dawn," Lupin agreed.  "Have her meet you at a hotel."  He walked up the stairs, tapping on Xander's door.  He smirked when he saw the open toybox.  "Goemon thought you'd be playing with your legos again."  He came in and sat down.  "What happened?"

"Get away from him.  It's finally my turn," Jigen said as he walked in and slammed the door after pushing Lupin out.  Xander gave him a hurt look.  "You wanted him?"

"No, I wanted you, but you had bad thoughts."

Jigen came over and picked up the toy on top, looking at it.  "That's fricken' huge, kid."  He tossed it down again and pushed Xander onto her back, climbing on top of her.  "Did you want someone that big?"

Xander shook her head.  "No.  I'm a bad judge of size."  She wrapped her arms around his neck.  "Are we ready now?  Mentally there and all that?"

"Sure."  Jigen kissed him, making him wiggle.  He let go.  "What?"  Xander pointed at the cat.  "How did you get in here?  Shoo!"  Xander made a sucking noise and stuck out her fingers, getting them sniffed and batted at by the car.  "No, no cats in bed with me.  Pick, me or the fluffy thing."

"Lupin, come get the cat," Xander yelled.  "I can't suck off cat hair."  She took possession of Jigen's mouth for him, making him groan and press down into her.

Lupin came through the passageway, grabbing the cat.  "Were you trying to help?" he asked.  "We should have a Blowfeld moment.  Yes we should."  He slapped Jigen on the ass, making him arch down into Xander's body and her squeal in pleasure.  "Come on, Marmalade.  I know he named you, we'll have to think of a better one."

"Brownie," Xander panted.  "Like the double cake brownies."  She tipped Jigen's head up, kissing and sucking on his neck.  "Finally.  Now, master of my body, you gonna prove that claim?"

"Oh, yeah," he agreed, smirking down at her.  He kissed her, making her moan and arch up, then he moved down her, taking his time. He wanted her to appreciate foreplay, it would give him another level on Lupin, who didn't like more than tits it seemed.   She groaned, pushing on his head.  "In a minute," he grumbled.  "Enjoy it now."

"I'll enjoy it later," she complained, still pushing.   "My breasts don't do much for me."  He bit a nipple and she winced, arching up to ease the pulling.  "Fine, play."  She went limp, making him laugh and go further down. "Sorry, but I guess I didn't grow extra nerves in them.  They've never been that sensitive."  She winced and groaned as he found a  new spot on her stomach, shivering.  "Jigen," she pleaded.

He flipped her onto her side, stretching her legs around his and taking her that way.  "Better?" he asked.  She nodded, reaching down.  "Nope, not yet," he said, capturing her hands to hold against her stomach.  She moaned, urging him on.  "My playtime, you said so."  She nodded, letting him touch her instead.  He got her moving toward his favorite time, her begging and pleading, and kept her there, not letting her go over.  She was whimpering and shifting.  "Give it up, Xan.  I'm in control."  She nodded, arching back against him.  He heard an annoying whistle and groaned, looking toward the secret passageway but another one opened, admitting Lupin.  "Two of them in this room?"

"My grandfather's lover used to live in here," he defended, coming over to lie in front of Xander, kissing her gently.  "What's wrong?  I haven't heard any noise."

"He won't let me get off."

"I'm enjoying teaching the big tease," Jigen defended.  "I can do this on my own."

"Of course you can."  Lupin smirked at him.  "We are all alone in the house.  That means we could take this down to the study or any other room she wanted to play in."  Xander blinked at her.  "No happy thoughts about any other rooms?"  Xander blushed and shook her head.

"I see a blush," Jigen noted.  "Where?"  She didn't answer so he gave her clit a few extra twitches of his fingers.  She took a quick breath and tightened her back.  "Where?"

"The range," she admitted.  "But as a guy."  She looked down, stroking Jigen's arms once she got a hand free.  "It's a dirty and smutty thought."

"It is," Jigen agreed, pushing harder into her.  "Kind of arousing though.  Just a quick grope?"  Xander nodded.  "Maybe some day, kid."  He kissed the back of her neck, sucking a little.  She moaned and tipped her head off to the side.

Lupin stood up.  "Let's bring this to my room, guys.  I've got stuff set up to tie her down."  Jigen looked at him.  "Really.  That's what I've been doing and it is the bigger bed.  That way you two can have fun and I can have mine later.  Otherwise, I'll have to lurk here."  Jigen sighed and nodded, letting him pull Xander up to hold her.  He followed them back through the hidden passage, noting it was heated.  "My grandfather put this in when he brought me back," he admitted.  "My nanny was his lover."  He let Xander into his room and laid her onto the bed, hitching her wrists down.  "Feel okay?"  She nodded.  "Good.  I'm going to be in my sitting area reading."  He walked away, finding his porn in there.  He also clicked the remote for the hidden cameras so he could have something later.

Jigen looked at him.  "I heard that."

"I wasn't trying to hide it."

Jigen snorted, laying down beside her again.  "Ready for more?"  Her eyes were bright and her lips were wet from where she had been sucking on them.  He gently teased her mouth with his, making her open her mouth immediately.  He dove in, unable to resist her playful nature.  "I think he wants an early birthday present," he told her.

She grinned.  "I was planning on making him something special for his birthday," she admitted in a whisper.  "That's why I was playing in the toy box."  Jigen groaned, attacking her mouth harder this time.  She whimpered into his mouth, the rest of her body wiggling.  He shifted to lie on top of her, making her push up into him desperately.  He was having a lazy day so he looked down at her, smirking.  "I should let you get on top."

"I will," she promised.  "Just do more quickly," she pleaded.  "Please?"

He stroked her gently and slowly, making her insane.  It was better than their first time.  He hadn't taken her slowly before but apparently she was liking it. Her clit was soon reacting and he had that to play with too.  She was dripping long before he was ready to do more than stroke her.  She was making those happy little pleading noises.  She was going to make him break his lazy mood soon.  Maybe this time he wouldn't be enough; Lupin might actually get some too.  She latched onto his chin, moving down as he let her.  She was sucking and biting on him to muffle her cries.  "Let it out.  We like to hear you."  She let go of his neck, letting them float out.  He could feel her tensing but it was a gentler, less urgent one than usual.  She wiggled, trying to get his fingers to do more but he was keeping that same soft, gentle, slow rhythm.  She finally came with a gasp, going limp.  He looked down at her.  "No mini ones this time?"  She gave him an amazed look, shaking her head.  He smiled and bent down, suckling on a more sensitive nipple now.  She arched up, pressing her breasts together by moving he shoulders inward.  "Shh, let me play," he ordered.  "It'll be good."

"It's already good," she panted.  She looked over his shoulder, catching Lupin looking at her.  "What?"

"Hurry up."

"No."  She went back to enjoying him as soon as he chuckled against her skin.  Jigen was having fun licking her stomach, then he suddenly bit that new spot he had found earlier, making her shriek.  "I'm paying attention."

"Good."  He looked up at her as he moved back farther, making her spread her legs.  "Should I play some down here too?"  She nodded quickly, making him use his fingers to enter her.

"Shit, Jigen, please!" she moaned.  "Please!  Daisuke!"

He paused.  "When did you learn my first name?"

She grinned.  "A while back, and I'll keep screaming it if you keep it up," she promised.  He smirked and shook his head, going back to what he had been doing.  She turned his name into a long string of babble, turning him on.  He relented and finally went back to finding her clit, making her happier.  "Thank you!"

"All you had to do was ask," he said gently.

"In me, please!" she pleaded.

"I said ask, not beg," he retorted.  "I'm not ready to have you begging yet."  He winked at her.  "Want to try that again?"  She politely asked him to enter her, in Japanese.   He laughed, doing as she had asked since it had been so polite.  "Your accent does stink but I'm sure we can fix that soon enough," he promised, settling into a slow, teasing rhythm.  She was whining about it but he was having fun.  "Not everything has to be long, hard, and fast.  You need to appreciate the gentle things too, woman."

She arched up, catching his neck with her teeth so she could nip him. "I am appreciating it, but I'm going to be mindless soon.  Please?  I'll beg better."

"You're already begging very prettily," Lupin told her.  "Do it more."

Xander gave a little squeal as Jigen bumped her clit with a harder thrust.  "Pay attention to me, not the watching slut."

"Am," she agreed, nodding.  "All the time.  No more bad thoughts from me.  Shit, I'll let you fucking collar me and crawl behind you if I have to," she babbled.  "Please, just more.  I *need* more.  I'm an addict and my skin is crawling toward you to get more of you."

Jigen snorted.  "That was graphic.  I'll think about the collar thing."  He gave her a few good thrusts and she screamed, getting closer before he slowed down again.  "Whose are you?"

"Yours!" she screamed, finding the place she could rub against him.  He let her, making her very happy.  "Damnit, these full ones aren't near as much fun!  They're fucking frustrating and I want my usual ones!" she sobbed.  He let her get off again, making her go limp.  "Please?" she begged.  "I'll do anything."

"I'm sure we can work out a deal for that later," Jigen promised, teasing her again with a wicked grin.  She moaned and tightened around him, making his breath catch.  "Keep it up and I should find out what being on top of you is really like."  She nodded, giving him a wide-eyed look.  "You wouldn't care?"

"I'd love it," she promised.  She lunged up to catch his lips, kissing him hard.  "Anytime you're ready."  He looked thoughtful.  "Anything you want," she promised him.  "Anything and everything.  Just give me more!  I want to feel you go off!"

He leaned down, kissing her gently.  "Desperate?"  She nodded frantically, her breath speeding up as he sped up a little more.  "Am I being mean?"  She nodded harder.  So he smirked and sped up to his usual speed, making her shiver and shake under him.  "Good.  I like being mean sometimes."

"I'm getting you a riding crop," she warned.  He laughed and bit her on the neck, making her scream and clamp around him, coming harder.  He couldn't resist it either and came as well, flooding her cavity with himself.  He collapsed on top of her, holding her down.  "Wow," she whispered.  He laughed in her ear.  "Release me so I can cuddle?"

"Not yet," he promised.  "Give me a few and then you can cuddle."  She nodded, giving him the most trusting look.  "You make some incredible demands."

"Sorry," she said with a blush.

"I don't mind, Xander.  The fact that you want me to collar you so I can have you crawling behind me is something I'll have to think about."

"I've got a job we could use that during," Lupin offered from his seat.  Xander spit at him, making him laugh.  "Seriously.  A fetishist who owns a beautiful colored diamond collection.  He's having a party next month.  She was invited."

Jigen looked down at her.  "You up for that?"  She purred and went limp under him.  "You'd probably have to take both of us."  Her smile got bigger.  "Would you like that?"  She nodded, smirking up at him.  "Then we'll consider it."  He gave her a gentle kiss, then teased her with his beard, making her giggle.  "You good for more?  I think he'll get impatient soon."

"You first," she promised, stretching her arms up.

"You just wore me out," he assured her, letting her feel how limp he was now.  She gave him a sated smile.  "You're sure?"  She nodded so he moved off to the side.  "She's in that fuzzy, everything's okay in her world, state," he offered.  "For once I'm done."

Lupin stood up, stalking over to the bed.  "Really?"  He looked down at Xander's sweaty, limp body.  "Let's get her into the shower."  Jigen looked at him.  "I could lick her clean but I figured it'd bother you."  Jigen shrugged, flopping out of the way to recover.  Lupin smirked at her, starting at her forehead and licking down her to clean up the excessive sweat.  "Was it fun?"  She purred for him.  "I'm glad.  Does this mean I'm not getting something special for my birthday?"

"I won't reveal presents before they're due," she retorted, shifting for him.  She eeped when he nipped the bite mark on her throat.  "Create your own," she ordered.  He chuckled against her skin, creating his own mark.  She spread out under him, giving him free access.  He moved down, licking across her nipples, he would be coming back to them later.  He wanted to hear her scream those pretty noises for him.  He went further back, cleaning her up for his use.  She shivered and gave him the most adoring look, making him stop and look up at her.  "I like," she promised.  He smirked and went back to what he had been doing, cleaning up the mess the prior occupant had left.

Jigen shook his head.  "That's nasty."  Lupin lunged over, kissing him then letting him go.  He wiped off his mouth.  "Eww."

"Get used to it.  If we're sharing her then I'm going to be doing this more often."  He gave her a deep lick, tongue-fucking her.  She squeaked and pushed back, helping him get as deep as he wanted.  Her walls were wiggling around him and his tongue had found a nice spot to tease while his finger was playing with her clit.  She screamed and locked her legs around his neck, holding him in place.  He chuckled into her, making her shiver and go off.  That was what he had been wanting.  He got himself free and came up to kiss her.  "Should I take the choker off?" he teased.

"Later," she panted hoarsely.  "Please, later?"

"Of course."  He shifted into her, making her squirm and writhe on him.  "Calm down."  She went limp again.  "Good girl."  He started to move, teasing her gently.  This is what he had wanted.  She was making those noises for him, and it was gratifying to hear them.  He suddenly flipped her onto her side, going with her so she was wrapped around him.  "Jigen," he whispered.  Jigen looked at him, noticing the position she was in.  "It's only fair and you wanted to know."  He groaned.  "In the drawer on your side."  He opened it, going with the simple request.  He had wondered.  "Slick her up good and stretch her some," he instructed.  She started to make whole new noises when he stuck a slick finger into her.  She sounded like she was hooting and cooing in his ear.  "Come on, you can do it," he promised.  Xander shifted her hips more open, letting him sink in deeper.  Jigen swallowed and coated himself.  "Slowly," he ordered.  He hadn't stretched her very well.  "She's very tight."

Jigen nodded, slowly pushing into her. She was biting her lip and moaning into it.  "Shh," he said.  "Tell me and I'll quit."

"If you quit, I'm doing this to you in your sleep," she growled, pushing back onto him.  He was startled to say the least.  She sighed in contentment.  "This is wonderful," she purred, squeezing both of them.  "Even better than the other way."  Lupin chuckled and moved gently.  Jigen had to move because her body moved and he pushed back in as soon as he got  a good distance out.  She moaned louder, right into Lupin's ear.  She latched onto Lupin's neck, making him wince and moan in pain.

"Easy," Jigen warned.  "Or else I'll stop."  She clamped around him, making him hold her tighter.  "Relax.  Let us play.  We like to play with you."

"Play away," she panted.

Lupin looked at him.  "I think we've hit on a major kink for him," he said in amazement.  "She's going to go just by us being this way."  He gave one little shift and she howled, arching up and shivering for them.   "Mini quake."

"Real one," Xander told him.  "More," she begged.  "Damn it, more!  Now!" she sobbed when they didn't move.  "Please!"  They took pity on her and moved for her benefit, making her lay still and take it.  Damn, they were good to her.  She felt someone pinch her clit and winced but let it go this time.  The next time it was a lighter flick and she enjoyed that more.  It was like she was overly full and overflowing. Like the dam inside her was going to burst soon and everything was going to come flooding out.  She had to have this, she craved that release.  She knew it was going to be spectacular.  She had nothing to do with it but it would be better than any high she had ever heard about.  She started to keen, making loud, beautiful noises for them in her pleasure.  She was getting so close.  She knew she was babbling and screaming in pleasure for them to let her go and they were looking at her, but she didn't care.  She felt someone touch the back of her neck and knew it was Jigen this time.  She didn't feel an arm over her face.  One of the stimuli was taken away and she tried to grab it but it wasn't happening.  She felt herself turning back and two male voices groaned into her ears.  The front stimulus came back and he let out a loud wail of pleasure, coming so hard he was in pain.  He passed out, losing it totally.  Better than any drug, was his last thought.

Lupin looked down at Xander's body, then at Jigen.  "I think he burst some of the scarring."  He grabbed the baby wipes from his side of the bed, cleaning Xander up.  "There's definite matter in it."  Jigen came down, looking at him.  "Did you hear him?  He called us better than any drug."

"Huh."  Jigen shook his head but he couldn't move.  Lupin lit a cigarette and handed it over.  He grunted, taking a few good puffs before hitting himself with his allergy shot.  "Damn it," he slurred.

Lupin nodded.  "Yeah."  He finished it off, laying there to hold Xander.  He would need it when he woke up.  "She might need an ice pack if I'm right."  Jigen gave him a look like he was insane.  He grinned.  "Can't move?"

"No!"  That single word wore him out, he let his head flop back onto the sweaty pillow, closing his eyes.  "I missed that?"

"You missed that by not liking guys," Lupin agreed.

"Huh."  He let himself drift off, considering it in his sleep.  Maybe it wasn't as nasty as he had thought.  But he still liked her female form better.

Lupin got up, calling downstairs to see if anyone was around.  No one answered there so he tried the nursery and still no answer.  He looked at the baby wipe, then shrugged, calling to make Xander an appointment with the doctor who lived up the road.  He agreed to come over.  He laid back down, he could release the gates from up here.  He checked, Xander was still breathing and Jigen hadn't died yet either.

***

Xander woke up in a warm bath, blinking around the large bathroom blearily.  He had been in here once before.  He started to move but winced.  "What happened now?" he muttered, looking down at himself.

Lupin brought in a glass of juice, smoking again.  "You ripped out some of the scar tissue.  We think Janus weakened it on you."

Xander gulped the juice, sighing in relief.  "The pain?"  Lupin nodded.  He took the cigarette and put it out.  Lupin chuckled, blowing out his last puff before bending down to give him a kiss.  "Am I remembering funny?"  Lupin shook his head.  "Wow.  Is he okay?"

"He had a small blood pressure problem according to the doctor.  His allergy shot was done too soon after such a massive expenditure of energy."  He sat on the side of the tub, stroking through the silver hair.  "The doctor said for you to stay in here and that we should pamper your ass tonight."

"Diapers would make me look funny," Xander told him, looking serious.

Lupin groaned and shook his head.  "Not that way.  What did you want for dinner?"  His breath caught as Xander touched him.  "Not that.  I'm under orders not to stress your system."

"Shit."  Xander gave him a pitiful look.  "Not even as a woman?"  He shook his head.  "Did we tell the doctor?"  He nodded.  "Oh."  He grimaced.  "Okay.  How long am I celibate for this time?"

"Until you quit hurting, plus a day," Jigen said from the doorway.  "Was his first question about me?"

"Second," Lupin admitted.  "The pain was the first one, as it should have been."  He kissed Xander again.  "Dinner?"

"Something.  I don't care.  You're a really good cook."

"Thank you.  I was making quiche."

"And that is?"

"Eggs and cream with stuff.  It's like a custard pie with stuff," Jigen told him.

"Stuff?"

"Spinach and feta.  But I'll make you one with ham and cheddar if you want."

"Will I have to taste the spinach and feta?"  Lupin gave him a look.  "Fine.  I'll eat that one.  If I don't like it, I know where the peanut butter jar is."  Lupin started to open his mouth so Xander pulled him closer to kiss him silent.  "It's not fair to make you work after the work you did earlier.  It's not like you guys let me do it all."

Lupin gave him a short, gentle kiss.  "We didn't mind in the least.  As long as none of us die, we should be able to do it again within a week."  Xander beamed at him.  "If you're really good, I'll consider calling out for the pizza you like."  Xander gave him a pleading look, complete with drooling from the corner of his mouth.  He wiped it off.  "Fine.  Pizza it is."  He stood up.  "I'll leave Jigen here with you."  He gave him one last hair ruffle.  "This means you'll have to invest in condoms if you're with others."  He strolled out, heading for the phone to call the pizza place.

Jigen sat down with a little moan. "You made me feel my age," he noted with a small smile for the concerned look.  "I have never done anything like that."  He gave him a gentle kiss.   "This has opened whole new horizons for me."  He gave him another kiss, making him moan.  "But I still like you better as a girl."

"That's fine," Xander agreed happily.  "I kinda like being a girl for you most of the time."  Jigen smirked at him and moved some of his hair out of the way.  "I need a trim.  My bangs are making me look like my forehead has a bulge."

"I noticed that you've got a few strands coming in black at the bottom.  Plus, your beard has a bigger black streak in it too."  He touched the rough chin hair.

"It happens, then it goes away again," Xander said with a shrug.  "I asked Ethan when it happened the first time, he said it'll probably never turn back fully to black."   He stole a quick kiss.  "But you're okay with what he did?"

"I did.  I'm the one who took off the necklace.  I wanted to know."  He stroked over the strong cheek.  "It was neat, but not exactly something I'm going to rush out to do again."

"That's fine, whenever you want me that way, just ask," Xander promised.  Jigen gave him a small smile.  "You nearly died?"

"My blood pressure dropped some.  The good thing is, my allergy seems to be going away."

"Good.  I'm happy for you.  I still think tobacco is nasty but I can learn to like it on your breath."  Jigen laughed, giving him a nudge to the shoulder.  "Thanks.  Is Lupin fine too?"

"Just fine.  He was awake all afternoon.  Ishi's back.  They let the doc into the house."  He touched Xander's lips.  "Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"That we're better than any drug?"

"Hell yes," he said firmly, smirking at him.  "I was floating somewhere I haven't before. Not even when I died did I get that fluffy, weightless, floating feeling."  Jigen gave him a short nod.  "Of course, no price is too high to get it again sometime this year," he said with a grin.  Jigen laughed, shaking his head.  "What's wrong?"

"You really died?"

"Twice.  Then he brought me back.  I didn't have time for a life replay either time. He got a little rough and pissed at himself because he had lost his playmate."  Jigen frowned.  "Truth."  He raised a hand.  "Total truth."

"I'm sorry, kid."  He gave him another kiss.  "You rest.  I'll have to get the pizzas soon.  Want anything?"

"Maybe some more juice or some water?" he asked.  "I seem to be really dry for some reason."

"You soaked the bed with sweat, the sheet was see-through where you were laying," Jigen told him.  "The doctor ordered us to pamper you anyway.  Anything else?"

"Just a cuddle later," he said sweetly.

"Sure.  We'll curl up and watch the big tv later.  Laugh at Cops."  He winked and got up, heading to get him some juice.  "Where is everyone else?"

"Fujiko had the doctor check the baby.  He's been napping all day," he said with a shrug as he worked on the plans.  "Are we a go for that one job?"

"Sure.  German fetishists are fine with me," he agreed.   "Why was he invited?"

Lupin shrugged.  "I don't know, it didn't say why."  He looked up.  "What did he want?"

"Some juice."  Lupin handed over the pitcher.  "Thanks.  How long before I have to get the pizza?"

"About another ten minutes."  Lupin smirked at him.  "Will I have to flip you for going in with him?"

"I don't know.  We'll work that out after he comes back from the convention's last day."  He went back in to hand over the juice.  "If you can walk, you can go to the last two days of the convention."  Xander gave him a worshipful look.  "You behave.  I'll be right back."  Xander nodded.  Jigen walked out after grabbing Lupin's wallet and keys.

Xander coughed.  "Lupin, are you busy?"

"Nope."  He put down his pencil and walked inside.  "What's up?"  He sat down beside the tub, recognizing that look.  "Have another nightmare?"

"The night that Fuji gave birth," he admitted.  "While I was out."  He reached over, touching him on the face.  "I was wearing the choker for a job and you had put it on me.  Both of you."  Lupin nodded for him to go on.  "You two didn't make it."  He winced.  "I ended up having to do a needle thingie to get some live sperm and take it to Ethan so I could bear twins so I could get out of it eventually."

"It won't happen," he promised.  "We'd never put that on you anywhere but in the house.  Outside the house and on the job, only you can put it on, Xan."  Xander nodded, giving him a smile.  "Twins?"  Xander nodded, grimacing.  "Did Goemon kill you?"

"He was in shock and hurt.  He went back to some cave somewhere and took the baby with him.  Fujiko fell too.  Marcus wasn't there."

"Ah."  He gave him a kiss.  "Won't happen, Xander.  I promise.  I only turn you into Sylvia.  Only Lavelle can turn himself."  Xander relaxed.  "Is that why you had that bout of panic?"  He nodded.  "Thank you for telling me.  I promise, it won't happen."  That got him kissed soundly and the juice spilled.  "Hey, behave.  That's the last of that flavor until we going shopping."  Xander pulled him closer, kissing him harder.  He moaned and pulled back, wincing.  "He said you'd be in pain if you got hard."

"Now I know," he winced.  "Any local left?"

"Nope, sorry."  He gave him a smile.  "If you're really good, I'll give you some of the pain killers from when you hurt your back later and let you suck me off."  Xander gave him an adoring look.  "If we go after the diamonds, who did you want to go with you?"

"Can you really control me?" Xander asked him.

"Good point," he admitted with a grin.  "Then we should send Goemon with you."

"I don't think he'd like the sexual subtext."

"Also a good point," Goemon said from the doorway. Lupin looked at him and he held out the baby.  "He won't sleep."

"Hand him over," Xander said, moving the glass out of the water.  He took the baby to hold, giving him a light squeeze.  "What's wrong, little man?  Are you tired of napping?  Did you want to play in the water with the unclie?"  The baby squealed and kicked at the water, making the adults happy.  He looked over.  "We'll be okay."

"I would expect nothing less," Goemon assured him.  "I know you would not harm him."  He looked at Lupin.  "The next job?"

"Is a German fetishist," Lupin said dryly.  "Xander got invited to show up, but the invitation didn't say who he was to bring with him."

"Unfortunately, I'm a sub so someone will have to come with me," Xander told him, watching the baby splash.  "Are you liking the oil in the water?"

"It's lavender.  It's supposed to promote healing and calm feelings," Lupin told him.  He tried to take the baby but Ishi started to fuss.  "Fine.  Play with the uncle.  We'll go play in the bigger tub later. All of us while we discuss the next job."  Goemon quirked up an eyebrow.  "Colored diamonds."

"I believe the wife and I will be back in Japan at the time," he noted.  "Is that before or after the technology fair?"

"A week after," Lupin admitted, smirking at him.  "So we'll come over and visit you then."  He looked over, taking the baby from the napping adult, making him squirm.  "I'll give you a real bath," he promised.  "We'll go play in the big pool later.  Let the Uncle Xander sleep.  He's in some pain."

"What happened to him this time?"

"The pressure built up behind his scarring and it ripped some of it free."  Goemon winced.  "That was my feeling too," he admitted.  "So we'll be spending a long time soaking.  Join us later?"

"Of course."  He took his son back, making him fuss.  "Hush."  The baby quit, looking up at him and pouting.  "Do not pick up that habit from your uncle as well," he told him, shaking his head.  "I had no ideas babies were so expressive at his age."  He walked away, shaking his head.

"We're having pizza for supper," Lupin called after him.  He turned on the heater for the water, heading back to his plans.  He'd have to tell Jigen about that nightmare later.  It explained a lot of Xander's anxiety about babies.

***

They sat around the larger hottub, passing the baby back and forth in the cool water. They couldn't have it too hot or Fujiko and the baby would both be hurt.  "The next month's itinerary is set," Lupin announced.  Everyone looked at him.  "Xander, bad news.  Can you play a top?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  That's how you were invited."

"Then I'm voting Marcus to go in with me.  He could use some field experience and this is the sort of situation where a sword would be better."

"As what?" Marcus asked.

Jigen coughed, smirking at them. "First, the happy couple is going to Japan finally."

Lupin nodded.  "Xander's going to the convention tomorrow so he can drive them to the airport.  Then he'll be there until it's time for us to join them.  There's another one in Austria right after that."  Xander beamed.  "I've already booked you in for the full package with your credit card."  Xander blew a kiss. "Then we'll be going to Japan for the tech fair.  That way Xander can look at the new weapons and I can look at the new spy gear, and...."

"Xander can see anime in its natural environment," Xander said happily.  "I'll need to buy somewhere to store it all."

"You've got a storage building," Lupin reminded him.  "Warn Murami before you ship back boxes of stuff so she can arrange for it to be taken there immediately."  He nodded.  "Then we'll be coming back to Germany with a quick stop in San Francisco for their tech fair."  Jigen looked impressed, they usually missed that one.  "There's some new software I wanted to look at," he admitted.  "Then the German job.  It's a German fetishist with a taste for colored diamonds.  He's invited Xander, but he thinks Lavelle's a top."

"Lavelle is my dominant side," Xander admitted.  "He can top, the real me likes the bottom."

Marcus looked stricken.  "And I'm to go in on that job?"  Lupin looked at him and nodded.  "As what?"

Xander gave him a slimy grin, worthy of Lavelle finding a new prey.  "As my sub, dear," he said sweetly.  "Don't worry, I'll put you into something sweet and make sure your collar is very soft.  I'll take *good* care of you," he purred.  Marcus swallowed, looking panicked.  "I won't even let you be traded off for an hour because you're still in training.  You can watch."  Marcus whimpered, looking at Jigen for support.

"Either you or me, kid, and I can't do that," Jigen told him.  "I'm known to be dominant, if laconic."

"Me too," Lupin agreed, grinning at him. "Don't worry, we'll work with you on that.  You'll make a wonderful sub, Marcus."  Marcus slumped.

His mentor smirked.  "That is a better idea than sending Xander in as a sub with me holding his leash, as was suggested earlier."

"You can control him," Jigen pointed out.

"You need a firmer hand with him," Goemon told him. "I find that giving him a short leash works best.  Setting firm limits.  As such, my own son will be started out that way and then given more freedom as he grows into his skills."  Fujiko looked at him. "My son will not become some wild little heathen."

"You're going to put a leash on him?" she asked.

"Figurative leash, Fujiko," Lupin promised.  "Go back to your nap."  She nodded, letting herself drift off against her husband's side.  There was a scramble for the baby but Xander won, helping the baby learn how to float on his back.  "Good job."

"I'm an excellent swimmer," Xander said, watching as the baby fell asleep.  "I think this one will be too."  He handed him over once he was sucking on his thumb, letting Marcus put him on the bench beside them.  "We should find his outfit soon so he can get used to it," he suggested. "Leather's better when you get to break it in."

"Anyplace you like for leather?" Jigen asked.

Xander shook his head.  "I don't have a preference.  Dawn kept promising me to take me to England to buy me some leather pants since I healed so well."

"I know of a good place to find leather armor," Marcus offered.  "It's for recreationists and the like.  I have no idea where people would go to buy leather clothing for pleasure."

"Vegas," Xander said, shrugging.  "There was some."

"Too dangerous.  They've got to be on the watchout for you to come back," Jigen reminded him.  He looked at Xander's roots.  "Most of the dark stuff is gone," he said, looking confused.

"I told you it does that," he said with a small grin.  "The part in my beard will be gone in a few days."  He looked at Marcus.  "Then the silver will get really shiny again probably so we'll be fine.  What do I want to put you into?"  Marcus gave him a pathetic look.  "Definitely a collar.  Some pants and light boots.  T-shirts too I think," he decided.  "Easy enough to remove and to move around in when you need it."  Marcus nodded, looking down.  "Good boy," he praised, reaching over to touch the back of his neck.  "Very good boy.  You'll learn quickly."  Marcus gave him a sour look.  "Give me that on the job and I'll have to punish you."  Marcus nodded, looking miserable.  "It'll only be for a little while.  I promise."

"Fine," he sighed.  "It had better be worth it."

"It will be," Jigen promised.  "I've seen pictures of the collection, they're very pretty."  He looked at Lupin.  "How about you?  Any idea on leather?"

"Paris has a few fetish shops," he admitted.  "I've only been there once or twice."  Everyone looked at him.  "Once was a present and once was something Fujiko wanted me to pick up and bring to her," he explained.

Goemon gave his wife a look.  "I have not seen any leather in her closet.  I will have to look and confiscate it.."  Everyone laughed.

***

A month later, Xander walked up to the door, his invitation held out.  His silver hair was slicked back, making it shine slightly in the dusk lighting.  "Lavelle," he announced, "and my new boy."  The guard nodded, passing him inside.  Xander walked in, Marcus following a step behind him and off to his right.  He bowed to his host.  "Thank you for inviting me.  Who are you?"

The man laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.  "I'm Morganilith.  This is my house."  He smirked at Marcus.  "How new is he?"

"Barely a month in training and he takes to it *beautifully*," Xander purred.  Marcus blushed.  "He is still shy.  This is his first outing."  Morganilith laughed as he walked around him.  "What is the purpose of this get together?  Your invitation never said."

The host looked at him.  "Mostly to play.  Do you swap?  I know some won't."

"Not while he's that new," Xander explained.  "It could break the fragile bond we've created in his training."

"For a month, he's learned some lessons very well.  He's very still," he praised.  "Very quiet.  Very nicely conformed.  Where did you find him?"

"In Japan.  He was studying the martial arts and his master thought it would do him some good to cross-train.  Before he had him put in for castration."  Marcus shuddered and hunched in some.  "If you learn well, it will not happen," he reminded the young man.  Someone who Goemon had trained with had suggested Marcus be fixed as well.  He looked at the host again.  "It's too new.  If this had happened in six months, perhaps I would have given him out willingly."  He snapped his fingers when Marcus shifted.  "Stillness," he snapped.  Marcus went still, schooling his features.  "Good boy."  He walked over, kissing him gently.  "Good boy."  Marcus gave him a look, then lowered his eyes again.  "Very good."  He turned back.  "What else are we doing?"

"We've got a small fashion show planned and I thought you might like to know some of the others in the local group.  I know what you do and I know my house is tempting, but I figure you're like your master."

Lavelle grinned.  "I am actually.  My mentor would kill me if I didn't at least *try* for your antiques."  The man laughed.  "What?" he asked with a small smirk.  "An added challenge?"

"Indeed.  Come, meet the others.  Most of the submissives are stripped."

"Marc, shirt," he ordered.  He held out a hand and the young man stripped it off and handed it over.  "Is there a shoes rule?"

"I would prefer them.  Nothing tinier?"

"In our things.  I left the bag in the car.  I was going to ask because I never go anywhere without a weapon."

"I assure you it won't be necessary in here.  You can leave it in your bag."

Xander nodded, snapping his fingers and Marcus went to get it.  He brought it back and Xander put his sidearm into it, letting him keep the bag.  "Thank you for understanding."

"Many powerful people will be here this weekend.  Some good, some not."  He led the way, noticing the way the young boy kept to his spot.  "He is doing beautifully with his training."

"I believe in positive reinforcement," Xander told him.  "I only punish for extreme infractions of my rules."  He nodded to the others as they walked into the meeting area.  "Hello."  One person caught his attention and he looked at him.  "Spike.  I thought you were dead," he said firmly.

The blond vampire looked up at him and smirked.  "I'm a punishment for Peaches.  The Powers said so."  He stood up, coming over to sniff him.  "Harris?" he said in amazement.

Xander bowed.  "Lavelle.  Assassin and gunman for Lupin the Third."  Spike's jaw dropped.  "This is my boy, Marc.  You probably recognize him as his father's."  Spike looked at him and whimpered, so Xander pushed him back into his chair gently.  "No sub?"

"One.  She's off powdering her nose.  She said I had to come," he said, looking at Xander's hair.  "What happened to you?"

"If I showed you, it could kill you, Spike."  He shrugged so Xander lifted up his shirt slightly.  The vampire shuddered and turned away.  "It's symmetry.  His father did it to me and his son is learning better from me."  Spike gave him a look of awe.  "Have you been to Cleveland yet?"  He sat down and Marc kneeled beside his feet, still to his right.  "Marc, this is Spike.  He's an old friend from home."  Marc nodded respectfully but didn't look at him.  "Good boy."  He stroked through the dark hair, making his boy purr.  He smirked at the others.  "Sorry, I haven't seen Spike in nearly forever."

"It just seems that way I'm sure," Spike said dryly.  He lit up and their host took it from him.  "Fine.  I'll do it outside, mate," he agreed.

Xander shook hands with the master next to him.  "Lavelle."

"I heard.  Assassin?  Formally?"

"Only when my skills are called upon," he said with a gentle smile.  "Jigen quickly found out I was a bit more ruthless than he was in certain situations.  It saves him for the bigger and better things."

"Ah.  I'm a big fan of your boss's exploits.  Will he be coming here?"

"No, but he did tell me I was to try and steal at least one antique, I would be putting the group to shame otherwise," he said with a small smirk.  The other masters laughed and shook their heads.  "I have to try and keep up the family pride after all."  He smiled at their host, taking the glass of soda he was holding out.  "Thank you."  He let Marc sip it first, then had some of it, handing it back to him.  "You deserve a reward."

Marc gave him a look then sipped it, going back to his job.

"Will you be swapping with us?" a Mistress asked.

Xander shook his head, stroking through his boy's hair.  "Marc's only been mine now for a month.  He's not ready for that yet.  Unless he does something very good and asks for that as a boon."  She nodded.  "I believe in positive reinforcement mostly.  It also happens to aid his martial arts training.  His sensei handed him to me for a while because he felt he was a bit wild and unfocused still.  One of his sensei's friends offered his services to castrate him but his sensei happens to want him to stay whole."

"That is tough," she agreed.  "I didn't know they still did that."

"Only some of the very old hardliners I'm told.  His sensei thinks it's unnecessary.  Though he has threatened me with it on occasion."  That got some laughs.  "So, are we waiting on anyone else?"

"No," the host said, lowering the lights.  He handed Xander a second soda.  "Here, for you as well."

"Thank you."  He took a longer sip then put it in his lap.  "What were we planning for tonight?"

"A few 'get to know you' exercises," their host promised.  "Nothing salacious if you don't want it to be."  He pulled out the board games and a few people groaned.  "How else would we get to know the newer members? I do so want to get to know some of them."  He looked at Marc, making him blush.

"He's still very innocent," the Master next to Xander noted.

Xander sighed.  "He's very uptight.  I've only started to stretch him recently.  A female would have gotten here faster but he might not have listened to her."  Marcus made a protesting noise so he looked at him.  "Was that a noise?" he asked.  Marcus hung his head.  "Pushups," he ordered, pointing at the corner.  "Twenty, now."  Marcus nodded, putting his soda aside to do as his master had asked.  He did more than this before bed most days.  "Sorry about that, he is still so new," he explained.

"That's fine, we understand," their host agreed.  "Usually I do something more rigid but with his initial training I suppose he must stay in physical shape?"

Xander nodded.  "As a matter of fact, he'll be doing his workout tomorrow morning as soon as we get up.  Do you have a large lawn?"

"We have a formal garden and a very nice picnicking glade.  He can borrow that."  Xander inclined his head.  "Do you workout with him?"

"I try but I've only had some limited martial arts training.  His sensei is mine as well.  I'm only six katas into the style he found to suit my personality because of recent...problems."  Everyone nodded.  "As Spike can tell you, I am not much of a physical brawler."

Spike nodded.  "Damn true.  Can't throw a punch to save his life, but with a weapon he's all right."  He stared at Xander, giving him an insolent look.  "Maybe we should catch up tonight?"

"Sure," Xander agreed, sipping his soda.  Marcus came back, taking up his spot.  "You will sit there unless you are spoken to.  Drink your soda."  Marcus nodded, doing so.  "Good boy."  He gave him a gentle pat.  "What sort of games?  The last game I got subjected to was scrabble."  The host burst out in chuckles.  "By him and a guy about his age."  That got more laughter.

"The first one is an ice breaking game.  Simple questions that shouldn't even bother those in secretive fields," he offered.  "We'll do each Master, then a round with the subs."  Everyone nodded, shifting closer.

Presents.

Note: Includes Con stuff.  Spike, as in off Cowboy Bebop, not the vampire one you saw last time.

Xander walked Marcus into the hotel where the convention they were staying at was being held and up to the desk.  "Hi.  I have a registration for the convention and he's got one for a room off the convention floors?" he asked quietly.  "Harris?"  The clerk smiled at him, finding them both.  He handed over his shopping credit card, making the guys' eyes bulge out.  "What?"  He looked at the name, then back at him.  "What?  It's a fairly common name."

"I heard someone saying something about you earlier," he said, shaking his head as he ran the card.  Both rooms were paid for.  "I've put an imprint on this for any necessities you may have," he said with a smile for the younger man.  "He's not coming with you?"

"No.  I'm watching over him but he'll be picked up in a few days.  He's one of my friend's young sons."  The clerk smiled and handed him the slate to sign.  "Thanks.  Where's the con registration desk?"

"In Ballroom one," he said, checking that it had transferred.  He created two room card keys and put them into envelopes before handing them over.  "Here you are.  He's up in room 1786.  You're on the fourth floor, where most of the convention's dealers are."

Xander shivered.  "An addiction I adore," he shared with a grin.  "And it's only expensive, not unhealthy."  He smiled and took the keys, handing Marcus his.  Then he handed him the bags.  "Here you go.  I'll come up and get mine in a minute.  I'll be wandering for a while."  Marcus nodded, heading up to do that.  Xander waved and skipped into the ballroom, smiling at the woman behind the desk.  "It's you again!" he squealed, hugging her.  She laughed and patted him on the back.  "I met you in Paris.  Do you work all of them?"

"I try to, it gets me in for free," she told him.  "Let's see, you were...Iceman?" she asked.  He nodded.  She found his packet and looked at it.  "Not yours."  She found the other one and it was definitely him.  "Where did you get the funky dye?" she asked.

He ran a hand through his silver locks.  "It's natural," he admitted.  "Every once in a while a black strand pops up in my beard but I'm like this all over except the things that I shave."  She blushed and laughed, handing over his packet.  "Thank you."  He blew a kiss.  "Are we doing much tonight?"

"Mostly check in, the usual meet-and-greet dinner.  No costumes tonight at that by the way.  Then we'll be doing a fan viewing tonight of Serial Experiment Lain."  He shuddered and shook his head.  "Not your part of the anime continuum?" she teased.

"No, that's a mind fuck.  I like the funny stuff.  Give me Vash any day."

"There's one of those coming," she promised with a wink.  "Maybe you two should talk."  He giggled and walked away, going to look at the dealer tables that were already set up.  She leaned over to talk to the dealer behind her.  "Isn't he famous?" she hissed.  "I *know* I've seen his picture."

"On wanted posters.  He's Lavelle," he hissed back.  "Big, huge anime whore.  He went to Japan and bought tons from what I heard."  She looked impressed.  "He's apparently decided we're neutral territory and will not act here.  On his form he checked that he was a bodyguard but he wouldn't be bringing a weapon.  Just like the real Vash lover who's coming.  Oh, and Spike's coming too."  He wiggled his eyebrows.  "I know you like the Bebop honey."

She blushed.  "Yeah.  But he's always so pleasant.  I need to get a little dirty.  Maybe I'll talk with Iceman."  She went back to her post as someone else walked in and squealed.  She was used to it from the newbies.

***

Xander unpacked the bag he had sent to himself, taking out his very special new outfit.  His old one had ketchup on it so he couldn't use it anymore.  This new silver one was very pretty though.  It was tailored to fit him specially and it did fit like a glove.  With his silver hair, all he needed was some clown makeup for his face.   He had won an award in Austria for his other costume and this one was better.  So what if there was another one down there.  He snorted.  "I doubt he can turn into Iceman."  He went to shower, taking special care with his hair.  When he came out, he found someone in his room.  "Hey.  Vash the Stampede," he said, nodding.  "Cool.  I missed you in Paris and Austria."  He held out a hand.  "Lavelle."

"Myron Banks."  He shook it.  "ICPO."

"Dirt.  Dude, I'm here for fun.  Can we call a truce for the event?"

Myron shrugged.  "I checked, they're still trying to find your files in the system."  He nodded at the costume.  "Iceman?  Not a gunman?"

"There aren't any with silver hair," he said miserably.  "Besides, I've always like Bobby's devil-may-care attitude and smart quips."  He slid into his suit and turned.  "Zip me up please?"

"Sure."  He did so, making sure the hair was out of the way.  "You do look hot in that."  Xander grinned at him.  "And I'm still straight."

"That's cool.  I'm not totally but I respect all ways."  Myron laughed.  "Are we having a costume event tonight after all?"  He nodded.  "Not the meet-and-greet, right?"

"Afterwards.  You could change and go as Inuyasha.  He does have white hair."

"I suck at working kimonos.  I've tried," Xander admitted.

"Try again.  This one is more anime centric," he pointed out.

"Yeah.  And I do have a sword, just not here."  He grimaced and opened his other package, pulling out that outfit to look at.  He had found it in Japan.

"Is that an authentic kimono?" Myron asked.  Xander beamed and nodded.  "Wow.  When did you find that?"

"My last trip to Japan.  I brought a screen cap in with me and the guy gave me a funny look but he seemed to like it."  He chuckled.  "Think I'll get some little school girls?"

"Probably.  There's a lot of them downstairs."  He unzipped Xander, turning so he could change.  "I just came to let you know I was watching you."

"Dude, I'm like every other fan in the con.  I'm not even packing heat.  The only piece I've got is in my main bag upstairs with my trainee."

"Yeah, I noticed Marcus Wyndam-Pryce had checked in.  Why?"

"We just got back from a Master/sub event in Germany."  He slipped on the loose pants and both tops.  "This is really heavy."  He adjusted it, knowing Goemon would be shaking his head somewhere about him complaining still.

"You'll get used to it."  He turned, watching as Xander pulled out a pair of ninja two-toed socks and sandals.  "Interesting.  Goemon?" he asked.  Xander nodded.  "Decent."  He watched as Xander looked up and muttered something, getting a sword.  "Not exactly authentic."  Xander muttered and it changed into a katana.  "How did you do that?"

Xander beamed.  "Magic."  Something fell and hit him on the head, with a bright bow on it.  "Ooohh!  Thanks, Dawnie!" he called.  He picked up the katana, pulling it to look at it.  "It's very nice."  He took off the other sword he had gotten in Istanbul and put that one on.  "There, how is it?"

"Your pants are crooked."  Xander looked down and adjusted them.  "Excellent.  You could be him."  He shook his head.  "You've obviously trained well."  Xander gave him a goofy grin.  "Now I know why Zenigata said you were the most dangerous.  You're very relaxing."

"I'm not on the job, man.  I'm relaxed myself."  He blew a kiss.  "Let's go."  He grabbed his key card and his wallet, stuffing them into the special pockets he had put inside his inner kimono.  "Okay, I'm ready."  They walked out together.  "Are you sure we won't get into trouble during the meet-and-greet?"

"Probably not."  He waited while Xander locked his door.  "You didn't bring anything?" Xander shook his head.  "Can you use that thing?"

"Goemon swears I'll be able to do more than hack and slash with it soon," he said smartly.  "I'm nowhere near proficient but I have taken some lessons."  He led the way down to the desk to get his profile changed.  The woman squealed when she saw him.  "Vash pointed out that I really should be my other alter ego for this one," he quipped.  "Think I can pull off surly and smart-assed?"  She giggled and blushed brighter, finding him and changing his name, making him a new ID tag when he handed in his old one.  "Thanks, sweetie.  This be okay for the meet-and-greet?"

"It's already been broken," she assured him, waving at Myron.  "You are so hot as Vash," she promised.  "Oh, the schoolgirl contingent is looking for you, Inuyasha.  They think you're famous."

"Groupies," he groaned, shaking his head.  "I never expected that."  He walked Myron out, liking this kindred spirit.  "Do you guys get groupies too?"

"No, not at all," he admitted dryly, looking at his apparent companion.  "I've got a duel later with the best Spike, someone said they wanted us to.  He's an American cop named Ray.  You wanna watch?"

"Sure.  Real or pretend?"

"Pretend.  None of us are supposed to be carrying weapons around the convention."

"Some of us are weapons," Xander reminded him smoothly.  "And don't let Marcus hear you say that, he's very attached to his sword."  Myron rolled his eyes.  "He's staying upstairs until someone comes to pick him up.  This is my reward for going to Germany."  He opened the door.  "After you, Vash."

"Thank you, Inuyasha."  They walked in, and people looked at them.  Over half of them were dressed up but none as good as them.  They'd be seeing each other again in the finals of the costume contest.

One of the schoolgirls bounced over to Xander.  "Wow.  You're the best Inuyasha yet.  How did you get your hair that color?"

He bowed to her, letting her see his roots.  "It's natural," he said.  She felt some of it and giggled, heading off to report that.  He bowed to Myron.  "Come get me whenever the duel's going to happen."  A very good Spike impersonator walked up to them and he bowed properly to him too.  "Good day," he said in direct imitation of Goemon.

"Damn, you're good," Spike sighed.

"I'm being taught by a Japanese sensei," Xander said smugly.  "Don't worry, we're all at peace here.  My demonic nature will not come out."

"You don't have the necklace."

"Yes, but I'm also not panting after any little schoolgirls yet either," he said with a wink.  "There is no Kagome or Kikiou here."  He strolled off, going to the register to find his seat.  They had put all the dangerous people together so Spike and Vash soon joined him.   He saluted them with his beer.  "Bottoms up."  He sipped, looking around.  The schoolgirls were taking up six tables of their own and there were more spread here and there.  One of the other Inuyashas had one on his arm.  Or her arm, he couldn't tell.  She had bleached her hair until it was fried for her look.  The other two were blondes.  There was one who was trying so hard but he couldn't quite pull it off.  Maybe he'd suggest the kid became Miroku later.  He got comfortable, watching the teasing and flirting and bragging going on.

"So," Spike said.  "I hear you've been to Japan recently?"  Xander nodded, grinning at him.  "Get anything?"

"I got this outfit and I got a *ton* of anime.  Unsubbed, undubbed, straight from the factory anime."  Both men groaned.  "Two big, huge shipping boxes of it," he said smugly.  "I have no idea what some of it is, it just looked interesting.  I go toward the funny and the action stuff anyway."

"Is that why you took up with your boss?" Spike asked.

Xander shook his head.  "I saved Jigen, he adopted me."  He sipped his beer.  "I'm still off duty."

"Good ta know," Spike said, showing his Chicago roots.  "I thought you were Iceman."

"That's Vash's fault," Xander said smugly.  "He convinced me to change."  He stood up as someone slightly familiar walked over.  She was very old, very slow, and very not in costume outside of her native kimono.  "Grandmother," he said, bowing to her. "What may this humble person do for you?"

"You may sit me down," she ordered.  He sat her in his chair, squatting beside her.  "The child shall be born nearly on time but you must prepare for a problem during it.  There shall be a storm," she told him.  He nodded, pushing some of his silver hair behind his ear.  "The storm shall knock out power.  Something will feel her if you do not guard her."

"If we guard her before that, will it help?" he asked.  She nodded.  "Will it stop the problems?"  She nodded again.  "Then let me get my compatriot down here.  He is studying that art more fiercely than I am."

"Really?" she asked, smiling at him.  "Who?"

"Marcus Wyndam-Pryce," he told her, pulling over Spike's phone.  "It's upstairs," he promised.  He dialed and waited.  "Marcus.  Come to the lobby.  Yeah, now."  He hung up.  "Come, Grandmother, let me introduce you.  He is much better than his father."  She nodded, letting him take her arm and walk her out again.

"Who was that?" Spike asked Vash.

Vash shrugged.  "I don't know.  I'm still stuck on how his sword appeared out of thin air," he told him, sipping his own beer.  "He didn't even bring a weapon with him."

"I doubt the guy needs one," Spike snorted, shaking his head.  "That's one dangerous fan."

"With groupies," Vash shared, grinning at him.  "He wanted to know if I got them too."

"Nah, not yet.  I got that application faxed over.  I've got an interview tomorrow."  He grinned.  "Cool, huh?"

"Sure.  I'm being transferred to deal with his home group.  Anymore, they take up so much room on the top ten we've just lumped them together as one.  They're number two."  Spike laughed.  "It'll be nice to have a fellow fan in the group.  You'll like Zenigata.  His task force will be hellishly long but we'll be busy.  Lots of traveling."

"Hopefully."

Xander led the older woman to the elevators, where Marcus was looking around fearfully.  "They're just like me," he soothed.  "Grandmother, this is Marcus."

She looked at him.  "You do bear a resemblance," she agreed.  "And also the mark of Janus."  She touched his lips.  "You will do to protect the child as she is born.  Take me somewhere softer to stand," she ordered.

Xander nodded.  "She's the seer who found me to tell me about her.  Ask her about names too," he said with a grin, waving and jogging back to his table.  "Sorry, small problem with the newest Baby Goemon."

Vash looked at him.  "Already?"  Xander nodded.  "Well.  What this time?"

"A girl.  You can tell Gramps I said so."  He grinned.  "We heard he's getting a few people and his rookies."

"His rookies are nearly out of their initial year and one's transferring over.  Your favorite enemy is transferring back and both of us."

"Wow.  I'm honored," Xander said, nodding at Spike.  "We should duel sometime."

"I don't do swords."

"Neither do I most of the time," he pointed out gently.

"No, Lavelle wouldn't," Vash agreed.  Ray looked stunned.  "You hadn't figured it out?"

"I thought he was that chick that ran with them sometimes."  Spike looked at him, then shook his head.  "Sorry.  It's the way the robe fits."

"I know.  It sucks sometimes, but I'm fully male.  Maybe a shooting contest?  We like Gramps but he's a horrible shot."

"I'm not," Vash promised, grinning at him.

"Me either," Spike told him.

"Cool!  Shooters.  I'll have to pass that back. None of the three rookies have been shooters."  He saluted them with his beer.  "Here's to a long and productive chase for both sides."  They goggled at him.  "What?" he asked innocently.  He took a sip.  "I get paid well for what I do."  Upstairs, Marcus had yet to eliminate nearly sixty billion in colored diamonds.  They hadn't gotten the vase he had picked out for the shell game, but Marcus had the diamonds before they had left.

***

Xander walked around the tables, picking up zines and pictures at nearly every spot. His basket was full.  He'd have to go upstairs to put things down soon.  He found one back in a shady corner and looked at him.  "Hey, what's your line?" he asked.

"I'm offering dubbed copies of some popular titles on DVD," he said, smiling at him.

Xander shook his head.  "No thanks, I'm learning Japanese."  He strolled off, heading to the next one.

"We could use your voice then."

"Sorry," Xander said, shrugging back at him.  "I'm kinda busy most of the time and hardly ever in the same place."  He looked at the next table.  Mostly stuff he already had in Star Trek.  There was an unfamiliar title on DVD so he picked it up to read the description.  His reading Japanese was much better than his speaking of it.

"Hi," a female voice said shyly.  Xander glanced at her.  "There are people who are saying that you're...."  She swallowed and leaned closer.  "Lavelle."

He paid for his new DVD then led her off to the side, out of the way of eavesdroppers.  "Who's saying that?" he asked.

"Some of the other girls.  They think you are.  They think you're going to be turned into a hero of your own anime."  His face lit up.  "You didn't hear?  There's someone here looking for you because of it," she hissed.  "I want a kiss if you are and an autograph."

"Shit, if this isn't a setup, I'll do more than kiss you, dear.  If you want of course."  She blushed brighter and led him to the big table.  "Hi."  The man goggled at him, saying something in Japanese.  "Slow down, my speaking isn't that great," he replied in Japanese.  He smiled at the girl and showed her his room number.  "Later," he promised.  She giggled and ran off to gossip to her friends.  Xander pulled a chair over.  "She said you wanted to talk to me."

He nodded, leaning forward.  "We are thinking something like Witch Hunter Robin, only more paranormal and leaning toward .hack/sign," he said in accented English.  "Would you be interested, Lavelle?"

Xander frowned.  "I'd like to see a script and have you ask formal permission of my sensei.  Would that bother you?"  The man shook his head, his eyes widening.  "Will you be here the whole convention?"  He nodded.  "Then give me a room number to call and I will have them get with you as soon as he gets here and you have a script."  The man handed over a card.  "Thank you."  He tucked it into his wallet, then bowed.  "You honor me.  I am so thrilled," he gushed.  "I love anime!"  He hugged him then walked off, going back to his browsing.

The man smiled and called his boss.  "He's tentatively agreed.  He wants to see a script and he said I could meet with his sensei over the idea.  Yes, the whole group would be wonderful!" he agreed.  "Daisuke Jigen would make a wonderful elf!"  He hung up and called his assistant to tell her to expect a shipment from the home office as soon as possible.  This would boost their sales!  They would be on top again!

***

Xander walked into his room and found a whole horde of school girls waiting on him.  "Did someone bribe a maid?" he teased, putting his basket down.  They all sighed and gave him adoring looks.  "Oh, crap, you're *all* groupies?  I thought I only had a few!"  They all nodded, grinning at him.  "Wow.  Did you guys just wanna talk?"  They pounced him, driving him to the floor.  His outfit was carefully put aside with his sword, they only wanted the man and a small piece of hair if he relented.

Not that they were going to give him much chance to protest.

***

Marcus knocked on Xander's door, but he didn't get an answer.  He wasn't downstairs.  He wasn't anywhere.  He knew someone had figured out who he was because people had been whispering about Lavelle being such a nice guy. He glanced around and put the electric lock pick into the card slot, pushing a button before anyone could stop him.  He opened the door and disengaged the opener, walking inside.  Xander was laying splayed naked out on the floor, napping with the goofiest grin on his face.  "Alexander!" he said, slamming the door.

Xander moaned and looked up at him.   "Fluids," he moaned.  "School girl groupies."

Marcus glared but was nice enough to go into the bathroom to get him some water.  He came out, helping him sit up and drink.  "Groupies?"

"Groupies," Xander moaned, sipping gently.  "Lots of groupies."  He sighed and went limp again, going back to sleep.  "Call home.  They want to make us 'toons."

"What?"  Xander didn't respond, he was asleep again.  He let him fall to the floor again and poured the remaining water over his face.  Xander flipped onto his side and curled up, mumbling something.  Marcus sighed and walked over to find Xander's cellphone.  He saw the katana and picked it up, taking it out to look at.  "A decorative blade," he decided, putting it back.  He folded the formal clothing properly before it was wrinkled, then dug through his bag.  He found the cell at the bottom of the second bag.  He stared at Xander as he called the main number.  "House of Porn?" he asked dryly in response to the greeting.  "No, they haven't yet."  He grimaced at Xander.  "No, he's passed out on the floor after someone he called a schoolgirl groupie.  Yes, I said groupie.  I don't know, he said I was to call you because someone wanted to make us toons?  Oh, and I have some information about the Master's daughter's birth.  We will need to make some preparations."  He smiled.  "That would be fine."   He hung up.  "Alexander," he sighed.  "Really.  Such disgusting conduct!"  He stood up and winced, going back to his room to hope the laxative worked this time.

Xander snored on.

***

Jigen walked into the convention, nodding at one girl behind a desk.  "I'm looking for the guy with silver hair," he said, noticing that it probably could fit a few people.

"Um, that's not real descriptive around here," she said.  "Male or female?"

Lupin walked up behind Jigen.  "Any luck yet?"  Jigen frowned at him.  "Hi.  We're looking for Harris?"

"Oh, that one!" she said excitedly pointing.  "He's with his groupies.  They snatched him at breakfast and haven't let him alone yet.  They've been with him all morning," she said in awe.  "Even some of the ones from yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Lupin asked.

She stood up to lean closer.  "Yesterday, a few of them found out who Lavelle was and went to...introduce themselves," she said with a small smirk.  "He was supposedly very kind, even giving them a chance to trim the bottom of his hair so they could have some strands."  Lupin shook his head.  "Really, he's been a real gentleman.  Aren't you Lupin the Third?"  He nodded and she nearly swooned. "Wow.  Are you into anime?"

"Lavelle's teaching us all," Jigen told her.  "Which dark corner is he entertaining in?"

"They're in ballroom two right now, back against the dias.  The guy from the anime company is in there with a script and so is the stuffy guy."

"Must be Marcus," Jigen noted, giving her a small smile.  "Thanks."

She moaned.  "If he's Lupin, then you're Jigen," she said with near orgasmic delight.  "Oh, wow."

He kissed her on the forehead, making her pass out with a goofy smile on her face.  "I guess we've got groupies again," he noted, heading for ballroom two.

"Hey, I didn't get one of those," Lupin complained.

"Maybe he'll share," Jigen said smartly.

Lupin snorted, heading that way until someone screamed and ran over, kissing and hugging him.  "Thanks," he said with a sly grin.  She cooed and trotted off to giggle with the other people dressed as school girls.  He walked after him, shaking his head.  "Okay then."  He walked into the ballroom and a bunch of the girls sighed in unison at him and Jigen.  "Um," he said, his hand moving toward his gun.  "Should I be worried?"

"They'll behave or I'm not spanking anyone," Xander said firmly.  "Come on over, guys.  Pull up a pillow."  He gave them a look.  "They pounced me," he told them.  The girls all giggled.  "Ladies, remember, I do have to go to the costume contest."  They nodded, giving him adoring looks.  "You know, Vash and Spike, the two I was sitting with last night, they're great guys too.  Really."

"What do they do?" one girl asked with wide eyes.

"They're both cops.  Really nice guys.  They're going to be working with Zenigata soon to catch us."  A few of them ran out to find them and go glomp themselves onto them.  "Guys, this is Dormin, he's from Funimation.  He wants to make us into anime."  The girls all sighed.  "Ladies, please," he begged.

"Should we get you lunch?" one asked.  The girls all ran out, going to do that before he could say anything.

Xander looked at them.  "I did not encourage that," he said firmly.  "Do not tease me later."

The executive bowed to them, getting bowed to back.  "We would like to take your lives and likenesses and make a paranormal, adventuring anime," he told them, handing over copies of the few scripts they had.  "I realize some things might be questionable to those who do not know, I would happily explain anything to you that you needed."

"I'm an elf?" Jigen asked, looking at him.

"Yes.  We would take you from this realm by way of a sacred artifact that you had stolen as a group and send you to there.  Of course, your partner might not agree.  We could have him back here finding a way to get you back, but barely show him if he would prefer."

"Think D&D the cartoon," Xander said happily.  "I wanted him to ask you first, I wasn't even going to agree to anything before you said it was okay, bosses."

Lupin looked at him.  "They wanted to do you alone?"

"At first, and then he said we had to ask your formal permission to do him so we thought it best to approach you about it all," the executive offered.  "If not, we would still like to use him alone," he said hopefully.  "It wouldn't be a mass release, but it would be a cult favorite quickly.  As you can see, he does have a following."

Jigen looked at Xander.  "I can't promise you won't get teased about this," he said dryly.  Xander handed over his katana.  "What's this?"

"Dawn's early birthday present for me," he said happily.

"Yes, we would like to talk to her as well," the executive noted.  "Her and Zenigata would also be put in there.  It would add to the Manga content, which would get us more ratings."

"Give us a week to think about it," Lupin told him.  "Some of us aren't here.  Where should we meet you?"

"I can be anywhere in the world you want," he offered.

"We need to go talk to Goemon anyway," Xander pointed out.  "The seer came to me on the first night of the con about the new one's birth."

"Yes, we would leave the baby out, but it is an interesting plot line," he noted, writing it down.

Xander gave them a hopeless look.  "I do not make such decisions for myself."

"No, you don't," Lupin agreed.  "We're thankful of that, Lavelle."  He looked at him.  "We will be Tokyo in a week."

"Mr. Lavelle has my card," he said, standing up and bowing deeply to them.  "You would do us a great honor if you would agree.  Thank you."  He hurried off, letting the schoolgirls back in to tend to their current hero.

"Lavelle," Jigen groaned when one girl loosened his tie for him.  She stuffed some food into his mouth, helping him eat.  "Thank you. That's very kind," he told her.  She giggled and blushed, and Xander looked helpless to stop any of this.

Lupin looked around. "Where's Marcus?"

"Bathroom," he said with a fond smile.  "Finally."

A few minutes later, Vash had to come in and save them.  "Ladies," he said, grinning at them over top of his sunglasses.  "Really.  Such criminals?  Shouldn't you be going for people with a bigger bounty on their heads?"  A few cooed and hurried over to him.  "Spike and I have teamed up for a duel."

"Cool, I want to see that," Xander called, getting to his feet and grabbing his sword.  "Come on, girls."  They followed him, giggling and whispering to each other. "Thanks," he mouthed.  Vash gave him a smug look.

Lupin looked at their remaining ones.  "Wanted the bigger criminals?" he asked.  They blushed and nodded, giving them big-eyed looks.

"Are we in trouble?" Jigen asked.

"Hopefully not," Lupin admitted. "This isn't the ICPO's normal method of capturing us."  The girls giggled and held out plates of food for them.  "Thanks."

***

Xander looked up from his snack at the main snack table as six guys in serious suits and guns walked in.  He sighed and nudged Marcus, who he had talked down there to educate him in the ways of fanboy behavior.  Then he looked over and caught Vash's eye since he was watching them.  He nodded at the guys, then shook his head. Vash's eyes widened and he nudged Spike, who turned and apparently swore because the schoolgirl beside him giggled.  Xander looked back at Marcus, who was measuring them.  More were still outside, he could see them.  He finished his snack and dusted off his fingers, glancing at Vash again, who shrugged.  Xander grinned and shrugged, heading that way, with Marcus trotting behind him.  "May we help you?" he asked politely.  "I believe the fandom rooms are still open if you are here for the convention."

One of the men sneered at him.  "We're not geeks, kids.  Go play with your own kind.  There are dangerous people upstairs."

"Are you cops then?" Marcus asked.  "I'm afraid I saw a great deal of marijuana being smoked last night."  The guy sneered at him.  "Oh, well, I tried," he sighed.

Xander looked at him.  "Sword?"

"Gun?" Marcus offered, handing his over.  "This really is a nice show piece, Lavelle, are you sure?"

"It's sharp," he promised.  "I sharpened it last night."  He pointed his gun at the men, giving them a bland look.  "I'm sorry but we can't allow you to rob the jewel show upstairs.  It's really just not done near so many innocents."  The men all turned to look at him and he grinned.  "What?  Is the outfit throwing you, gentlemen?"  He bowed.  "Lavelle.  And this is Marcus."  Marcus also bowed.  "Leave and no one has to get hurt."  The men laughed and he could see the others coming in.  "Fine, you leave me no choice.  If you're cops, produce the badges now."  They continued to laugh.  "Marcus, doorway.  Guard."  He shot three of them in quick succession, wounding them in a very bad manner.  Not fatally, but close enough if they didn't find treatment soon.  He looked at the other three.  "Next?" he suggested dryly.  "You're interrupting my fun, like that guy in Stockholm who interrupted my time with the pro."  They backed up against the wall, not even moving toward the elevator.  "Good.  Thank you. Thankfully there are some cops around here."  He glanced at Marcus.

Marcus had cut two of them with grace that showed he was training harder than Xander did.  One person had disarmed him but he was presently kicking his ass manually.  One more jumped out with a battle shriek.  He stopped him, tipping up his chin, then he did a beautiful kick to the underside of his chin, knocking him out.  He sighed in pleasure, looking at the last three.  "Sword?" he offered.

"Thanks.  Have the gun."  Xander put back on the sword, looking at them.  "Morning," he said, making two run and one stare at him.  "Don't make me prove I've been training with the thing too."  The man squeaked as more people came out of the stairwells.  Xander grimaced and pulled his blade, holding it comfortably.  It was well-balanced.  One of the new group pulled out a short sword and another a baton.  He let out a credible battle yell and lunged, hitting those two and two more before they could do more than scream in fear.  Marcus shot the other two, going for stomach injuries.  "Nice shot," he said, taking the gun and shooting the one behind him own back.  He wiped his sword off on one guy's pants, then put it back.  "Any others?"

Someone coughed.  "I thought you were a gunmen," one of the girls asked.

"Yes, Lavelle, you did seem more experienced with that thing that I supposed," Marcus agreed, looking at him.

"I take the same lessons you do, Marcus, I simply don't spend my whole day in them."  Marcus looked hurt.  "Hey, it's more your thing, I just like it, it's neat."  He grinned and patted him on the shoulder as he walked past, looking at hotel security.  "They're injured, not dead, they will all need competent treatment soon.  I went for less bloody injuries but feel free to send the carpet cleaning bill to me.  By the way, you might want to tell the people upstairs in the gem show to beef up their security."  He walked off, running into a familiar body.  "Gramps!" he said happily, giving him a hug and then knocked him down with a swung fist.  "Welcome to the con!  They're living, you can question them later.  Come on, Marcus."

"Yes, Lavelle."  He walked over and waved.  "Good morning, Inspector.  Having a pleasant day?"

"Freaks," he muttered, getting up.  "I should have known you'd be one of these."

"Now, now," Xander warned, his hand on his sword.  "Do not insult my brethren.  Fans are what make entertainment better."  Some of the fans still standing around clapped and hooted.  "I'm here as an appreciater of the artform.  These guys interrupted my snack.  I always give fair warning."  The inspector glared at him.  "You might as well arrest them, they're carrying weapons openly into the hotel up to where they're doing a big gem sale."

"Then why are you here?" he sneered. Xander pointed at the convention signs.  "Really?"

Xander nodded.  "I didn't know about the gem show until yesterday.  Why?"  He shrugged.  "I've been here the whole time.  If you don't believe me, ask Vash and Spike."

"Who?"

Xander pointed at the cops. "Them.  They've been making sure I stayed out of trouble until you could find our files again."  The Inspector growled.  "Don't forget your blood pressure.  Dawn would not be happy to visit you in the hospital and neither would your other family members, the ones who like to invite you out for dinner every weekend."  He looked stunned.  "We're going to go back to the convention now.  Do you need a statement of how we saved them from potentially shooting any one of over a thousand soft targets?"

"I'm going to arrest you.  You can't stop me," he declared.

"Within fifteen seconds, I can be someone else," Xander pointed out gently. "You won't be able to find me in here."  He looked stunned.  "And so can Marcus.  It's a hard skill to learn but we do it so very well."  He walked away, giving him a small grin.  "Thankfully I was being nice.  I don't want to pay to replace the carpet."  He tugged on Marcus' arm.  "Come on, guy.  Let's go get a drink.  That battle yell is really throat ripping.  Almost as bad as puking each time I saw him for a couple of weeks."

"What was that about?" Marcus asked.

"Oh, I had a nightmare that we had come home before you guys because of the problem with my choker.  Since we had stayed for a while longer, we had missed the boat and we flew back.  We walked into the house and found him and three cops in there taking the tour of the house.  I was tired and had jetlag so I brought back Spike.  Spike ate the cops, ate Zenigata after I told him not to, ate me before anyone could stop him, and told me as I was dying that I was going to be *his*," he pointed back at the inspector, "playmate for eternity.  It was the thought of sleeping with him.  I don't think he'd do it as well as Lupin does."  He looked at the two cops.  "Sorry if he gives you hell for being fanboys," he said with an apologetic smile.  "I couldn't let them hurt any of the kids."  He shrugged and walked on, heading into the bar.  "Isn't Goemon still at home?"  Marcus nodded.  "Good.  I don't need chastised over mimicking his battle yell."  He held up two fingers.  "And a shot of scotch," he ordered, putting a fifty on the bar.  One of the fangirls walked in and tugged on his sleeve then backed off.  He gave her a gentle smile.  "I would never hurt you.  I only hurt bad guys," he promised.

She gave him a hug.  "You're very good as Inuyasha," she said quietly.  "We still like you for protecting us.  Now more than ever possibly.  You didn't kill any of them."  She hurried back to the other fangirls to report to them about how he had looked really pleased and stunned.

A young boy dressed in a school uniform sat beside Marcus, giving him a worshipful look. "You're very good," he said, staring at him like he was God.  "Are you a ninja?"

Marcus ruffled his hair and smiled.  "I'm still studying martial arts.  I study under a samurai."  The boy sighed in pleasure.  "You could train very hard and do the same."  The boy nodded and grinned at him.  "You're very young."  The boy nodded, accepting that and walked off.

Xander saluted him.  "Your first groupie, I'm impressed," he said with a grin.  "Think we should change looks?"

"Possibly.  You've got blood on you," Marcus nodded, nodding at the spot on his sleeve.  "Next time take off the tops.  The sleeves are very wide."

"I know, but this is what he wears," he pointed out.  "It's gotten more comfortable over three days I've been in it.  Maybe I will let Goemon teach me how to wear a kimono, just not a formal one."  He slammed his shot and drank his beer.  "You rest in here.  I'm going to change and go back to the con."  He strolled off, heading around the bodies and up to his room by going up the side stairs.  He found his third outfit and pulled it on along with his choker, becoming a little giggling school girl himself.  He even changed into the knee socks and shoes, then skipped down the stairs.  She found Spike and cooed, screaming as she came over to pounce him.  "I *love* bounty hunters," she purred, leaning against his side.

He gave her a pat on the head.  "Thanks.  Think I should stay with this?" he asked.  She gave him an adoring look and nodded.  "Cool."  He traced a line down her nose.  "You forgot to clean your face," he said with a grin. Xander beamed and bounced off to do that.  He looked at Vash.  "How did he do that?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "I'm still stuck on the sword that came out of midair."  They looked at their boss.  "How did he do that?" he asked.

Zenigata looked at them.  "I don't know yet, but when I do I'll tell you all.  Where is he now?"

"He's one of the school girls," Spike told him.  He pointed inside an open door at all the fangirls dressed like school girls.  "He's in green."  Zenigata shook his head, watching as Marcus came out and went into the convention as well.  "Should we even try, sir?"

"No.  It's not worth it.  They would get off by claiming they were protecting.  Mark it on the list of things they'll pay for when we capture them.  Getting those two won't get us Lupin or the others.  It'll only get us hurt.  The younger set has cross-trained.  That's why I'm bringing in you men."  He looked at them.  "Isn't your character a criminal?" he demanded.

"No, he's just really unlucky," Vash said.  "People destroy things around him and he's blamed.  Actually, he's hunting other bad people.  Spike's a bounty hunter though."

"Yeah, but I can't hope to move like that one guy," Spike snorted.  "How long has he trained?"

"Two years and a bit," Zenigata said in disgust.  "Full time with Goemon."  He shook his head.  "Apparently the boys are working together."

Vash coughed. "He said something about just coming from a Master and sub event in Germany, sir.  Do we have any reports from that way?"  Zenigata looked startled.  "I don't know.  Was it a job, sir?"

"Yes," he said bitterly.  "They don't need to hit the gem show.  The owner of the house invited him in and dared him to steal something.  They got away with sixty billion Euros in colored diamonds but he won't make a report."   Both cops looked stunned.  "You, are you one of mine?"

"I'm supposed to interview later.  I was heading up to change and shower, sir."

"Fine.  Name?"

"Kowalski.  From Chicago."

"Hired.  I need someone who can outshoot him and Jigen.  You too," he told the other one.  They nodded, getting out of the ambulance drivers' ways.  "When you're done here, go back to the office, get with Dawn, have her get you up to speed as much as she will."  They nodded.  "Thank you."  He walked away after the last stretcher.  These guys had been really dumb.  The boy is ruthless.  Maybe he should tell Dawn about this, get her to send him a necklace like the costume character he was pretending to be wore.  She had made him sit down and watch anime, claiming it would help him understand Lavelle better.  She had been right, he had seen some of the moves the boy had done on them.  They definitely weren't Goemon's normal ones.

Vash looked at Spike.  "I guess I should welcome you to the ICPO.  You'll like Dawn.  Dawn used to be a jewel thief and run with Lavelle."  He walked him away, telling him about their little group.  Including about the on-again/off-again vendetta Zenigata had against Lavelle.   He even told him about how sometimes they were the ones who saved them, but never intentionally.

***

Xander jogged up to the two men getting into the car, hugging Jigen by the arm.  "Take me with you," she said, batting her big brown eyes at him.

"Kid," Jigen groaned, looking down at her.  "Xander?" he asked, looking at the outfit.  "What happened to the red one?"

"About thirteen thieves," he said.  "Marcus got some, I got some.  Zenigata came in."  She grinned.  "Marcus is still inside.  Should I go get him or do I still have time?"

"Go back and play," Lupin said tolerantly.  "We'll break up all the packages later."

"Cool.  There was a pretty purple one and one really pretty blue/green one I wanted," Xander said, jogging back into the room to go pick on the cops some more.   Marcus was getting a lot of attention from the girls and it was gratifying to see him get jumped instead of her.  One other girl moved up next to him.  "Hi," she said, grinning at her.

"How do you change?" she asked.  Xander kissed her on the cheek and walked away.  "I know," she called after him.  He turned and gave her that same sly grin, making her smile.  "I will see you again," she promised, touching her stomach.  "I vow it."  She turned and went back into the crowd.

He stood there, frowning.  "That had better not be what I think it was," he said dryly, heading up to pack.  There was a *huge* convention in Vegas that he wanted to go to next month.  He'd have to find a new costume by then.  Then again, it was a comic and tv one.  Maybe he could go as one of the guys on Star Trek or something.  He shrugged.  He'd look through his costumes later.  It was probably going to be a while before he could be Inuyasha again.  He found a large bag on his bed, looking inside it.  "One of the bags broke?" he asked it.  "Huh."  He shifted through them, finding the stones he had put in there.  Yeah, they were all there it looked like.  If not, Marcus would hand them over.  He carefully put the bag into his shaving kit and went to do that.  He needed it.  When he came back out, he was in a different form, now he was a beautiful brunette with a manga-sized chest and flawless darker skin.  No more vampire pale for him.  He put on his school girl uniform and went back downstairs, tugging on the short skirt.  How did girls wear these?

***

Goemon looked up as people walked in his back door.  He accepted the book with a frown of confusion.  "What is this?"

"They want to make us anime," Jigen said as he flopped down.   Goemon gave them a deadpan look like he wasn't sure they were sane.  "They approached Xan at the convention."

"Oh, dear."  He sat down, reading the initial page.  "Where am I?"

"They said they weren't sure you'd be willing to do it so you're back here trying to find a way to get us back," Lupin said with some humor.  This idea was growing on him.  Jigen looked at him.  "Not looking forward to being an elf?"

Jigen pinched him.  "I'll elf you," he said bitterly.  "I am not an elf."

Goemon looked at him.  Then he shook his head and went back to reading.  "How are the children?"

"Doing fine," Jigen told him.  "They had to stop some thieves who were trying to stop us from robbing the private gem showing.  When did you teach Xander that battle yell?"

"Battle yell?" Goemon asked, looking up at him.  "I have not."

"Well, he has it down already," Lupin agreed.  "He shot some, slashed some.  Marcus slashed some and shot some.  The police report was very informative."

"With?"

"With the nice sword Dawn got him for his birthday," Jigen said smugly.  "It's more decorative than practical."

Goemon groaned and shook his head.  "The children are going to be spending some time doing an honest practice then.  It is not right, if you get to travel that way you will get into trouble without me."

"We're meeting with them in another five days in Tokyo," Lupin told him.  "You can tell him that if you want."

Fujiko wandered out of the bedroom yawning.  "Hi," she mumbled, going to dig in the refrigerator.  "Juice?"

Xander and Marcus came in the back door, Marcus handing her a bag with a kiss on the cheek.  They had taken different flights over.  "For you," he said with a smile. "How are we?" he asked, touching her stomach.

"Sleeping, let her," she said, going back to the bedroom.  She was still so tired.  It would be ending soon, then she could do things.

Xander put his sword onto the table as he dropped his bags beside the stove.  "Dawn got it for me," he said proudly.  "I've cleaned it since we used it."

Goemon sat back so he could draw it, looking at it.  He nodded.  "Very pretty.  Well sharpened, Alexander."  He put it up and handed it back.  "Later we will see how good you are with it."   The boy groaned.  "Each time you prove you have skills we do not know about, we have to test it."

"You're the one who set me against Marcus."  He sat beside Jigen's leg, resting his head against his leg.  "I sent all my anime stuff back to my warehouse.  Can I go to the one in Vegas too?  I want to go as a Trekkie."

"We'll see," Jigen said, patting him on the head.  "You seem to get in trouble, Xander."

Lupin snorted.  "Is that what you would call fifty girls dressed as anime school girls waiting hand and foot on him?" he asked.

Goemon stood up, looking down at him.  "Groupies as well?"

"They jumped me," he defended.  "And I think one's going to be a stalker.  She said something about seeing me again."  He gave him an innocent look.  "I went as Inuyasha.  They thought I was cute."

"You were and you wore that kimono very well after you got used to it," Marcus agreed, smirking at him.

"Another thing we shall look forward to seeing," Goemon agreed.  "I should be here."  Xander's head came up over the edge of the table.  "I should be."

Xander grinned.  "If they don't agree, we can go together.  They were going to do just me."

Goemon snorted.  "That would be a long and pornographic adventure," he said dryly. "Months without either of those two would drive you insane.  I would have to chain you to the back of a horse and drag you around, only unleashing you when we needed things killed or hunted."  Xander looked hurt.  "You do not agree?"

"No, that's what inns were for," he told him.  "Serving wenches."

Lupin looked at him.  "Keep it up, and we'll start treating you like that again," he pointed out.

"Yes, boss," Xander said as cutely as he could manage.  "You missed my last day."  He handed over the copy of the picture he had taken.  One had already went to Ethan for his amusement.  He slid over one of him with his costume trophy to Goemon.  Then he went back to resting against Jigen's leg.

Jigen looked at it, then down at him.  "Couldn't get a larger skirt?"

"That's the point of the outfit," Xander pointed out.  "It's supposed to be short.  It raises ratings."  He yawned.  "I think I've got jet lag."

"You did bounce the entire flight," Marcus retorted.  "He has a new soundtrack to some anime film or another in his cd player.  He bounced all the way across Europe until the stewardess warned him.  Then he told her and made her excited.  She nearly blew him in the seat."  He looked at Xander, who was smiling and asleep.  "Hussy."

Lupin laughed.  "Did he take her up on it?"

"No, thankfully.  That would have gotten us thrown off the plane mid-air.  It was full of Japanese businessmen."  He sat down beside his mentor.  "It was horrible, Master.  He left me with girls dressed like that," he said, flicking a finger at Xander's schoolgirl picture.  "Ten of them, all of whom wanted to stroke, fondle, or sleep with me."  Goemon gave him a gentle pat.  "He didn't even try to save me.  He even participated once!" he said miserably.

Lupin snorted.  "How many do you think jumped him in his room?"

"Probably at least that many," Marcus told him. "I would fumigate him before I touched him were I you.  I'm not sure the rabid masses of supposedly innocent schoolgirls let him use a condom or not."

Jigen looked down, tugging on Xander's hair.  "Condoms?"

"I went through a big damn box, Jigen," Xander complained.  "And they stole them to keep with pieces of hair."  He kept his eyes closed.  "I was nice and they were gentle enough to put a new one on me as a ritual before I got the next one.  Sixteen virgins and two sluts," he sighed, shaking his head.

Lupin shook his head.  "That night or the ones we saw you with?"

"I only nailed one of them," Xander defended, opening his eyes to look at him.  "And she jumped me that night when I came out of hiding for a soda."  Lupin smiled at him.  "I was carrying them in my pocket by then.  I will never become a scary woman like them."  He put his head back down and closed his eyes again.  "Please let me sleep?  I'll give you great blowjobs later."

"That's a way to cure that clause," Jigen told Lupin, who groaned and swatted him.  "It would be.  Either that or go with him to the crime families picnic in a few months."

"The present Don wants to meet with him," Lupin admitted.

"I'm sure he'll *love* him," Jigen noted.  Xander mumbled so he stroked over his hair again.  "Marcus, you had information about the baby's birth?" he suggested.

Goemon looked at his student, nudging him awake.  "Give," he demanded.

"The baby's powerful, Master.  There are people who will want her.  They will be watching for her.  I have found out how to ward her and the room she will be born in so none may come for her then.  The ones like Xander knows in Cairo have a worse counterpart.  It is them."  Goemon gave him a steady look.  "The seer who came to Xander about her in the first place came to the convention and he introduced us.  She told me how to ward whichever house she will be in at the time, or even her hospital room.  Otherwise they can create a great storm and use it as cover to come in and try to steal her."

"Very well.  You will sit down and explain this fully to me later," Goemon agreed.  His daughter would be protected, that's all he really cared about but this magic made him nervous.  He went back to his reading.  He finally found himself, fretting horribly.  "I fret?" he asked Lupin.

"They have you trying to get us back," Lupin said with a shrug.  "Stuck here with a frantic Fujiko.  Who's probably not going to like how she's portrayed since she's panicking."

"A lot," Jigen agreed.

Goemon smirked.  "Indeed?  Then perhaps she will find something else to rant about."  He turned the page, going on.  "Zenigata and Dawn are there too?"

"They fell through the rabbit hole with us," Lupin agreed.  "We got away before he could wake up.  He apparently knocked himself cold on Xander's head."  Goemon laughed and he handed over his script.  "Here's the first one."

Goemon took that one, starting at the beginning.  "I believe Jigen would make a charming elf," he said, looking at him.  Jigen growled and he smirked.  "You could keep a hat that way."

"Keep it up.  I'll leave a horny Xander here."  Goemon shook his head, losing his amused look.   Jigen gave him a smug look and nodded.

"Fine, I will leave you alone about your future pointy ears," he noted.  "Marcus, what is the nature of the one in Las Vegas?"

"TV and comics, Master," he said tiredly.  "May I please nap on the couch?"

"Go for it," Lupin agreed.  "Want Xander?"

"He might molest me," Marcus said dryly.  "He hasn't gotten any since his groupies jumped him and cut his hair."  He went to lay down, falling asleep on the comfortable furniture.

"Were they mean to him?" Goemon asked.

Lupin held up the schoolgirl picture, making him laugh.  "He was dressed in the other one when they attacked him.  They were Lavelle groupies."

"Yeah, and the two cops couldn't even save him," Jigen agreed.

Goemon broke, laughing and shaking his head.  "That poor thing. Perhaps he is part incubus now?"

"Hopefully not," Jigen said dryly.  "I don't like the demonic that much.  Count me as only going for humans."

Goemon smirked at him.  "It could explain the reason why he snared you so well."

"That's respect," Lupin said, breaking into the teasing.  "Jigen respects Xander because he's a scary guy.  The same as we respect you.  Only you'd make one ugly woman, Goemon."

"Thankfully," he said, smirking at Lupin.

"Get some last night?" Jigen asked.

Goemon smirked.  "A gentleman does not tell such things."  He went back to his reading.  It was highly entertaining.  He might even watch this if it were on while he was in the house.

***

Zenigata groaned as Dawn bounced up to the table he was at, but he weathered her kiss to his cheek. "Why are you here?"

"Because I got invited too," she told him, giving him a bright smile.  "This is such a cool idea," she said happily.

"What idea," he said suspiciously.

"No one told you?" she asked.  He shook his head, all he knew was that his Commissioner had ordered him that it was a good idea and would get them some good recruits.  "One of the big anime production companies wants to make a Lupin anime series."  His mouth fell open.  "The basic premise is that you and I bust in on him as they're about to steal some fantastic artifact.  The artifact takes us to another realm, where some of our skills are a little different."  He nodded slowly.  "You and I are still chasing the gang.  About like we are now, with them about a day ahead of us at the moment.  I'm not sure if we get them or not at the end.  It would look really good on the ICPO if we did catch them and they got us back."

He shook his head.  "I don't like this idea already."

"Hush," she said, giving him a frown.   "It's neat and think about how many little guys could decide to join the ICPO someday because they decided you were cool."  He gave her a shocked look.  "I heard they even got Goemon to go along with it.  They were going to make him the guy who was stuck back here trying to get everyone back but apparently he wanted to go to keep the others out of trouble and Fujiko wanted to be smart instead of just panicking." His mouth fell open more.  "I've heard that they've talked one of them into becoming an elf."

"Probably Lupin," he said bitterly.  "I'm sure he likes this idea."

"They were going to just do Xan, but he said they had to get formal permission from Lupin so they decided they wanted all of us.  I'm guessing that even if it's just him that you'll still be needed."

"Dawn, they already call me names behind my back at the station.  This will only make it worse."

She gave him a hug.  "The Commissioner put out an edict that says we're all to do anything that comes our way that will put a positive spin on the job," she told him.  "It came out earlier."  She pulled a copy of it out of her purse and handed it over.  "Morgan drew you a new picture too.  He thinks you're sad because you haven't gotten to see him recently."  She handed over the picture as well.

He smiled at the nice picture.  Then he looked at her.  "Are you really excited about this?"

"Hell, yeah, I get to wear a catsuit and wander around again," she said happily.  "We'll get to harass Xan and everyone for months about this.  And hey, even Goemon is doing it."  She gave him a nudge and a pathetic look.  "It could make us look really good."

"It could," he sighed.  "Fine."  He put the picture into his pocket but handed back the edict.  "I'll do it."  She squealed and hugged him, giving him a big kiss.  Which shocked him again.  When the person they were to meet with showed up, he was still stunned.  "I'm not going to change, right?"

"No, sir," he said excitedly. "You'll be just like you are now.  At least until you decide to buy local clothes to not look too different." Zenigata groaned and shook his head.  "Only having one outfit would get tiring," he pointed out helpfully.

"And I can have my former working clothes, right?" Dawn prompted.  "The catsuit?"  He nodded quickly.  "Let me guess, I'm going to be the one with breasts?"

"Unless we do something with that female they bring with them.  In that case, I'll have to say that they would put her with someone within the other group."

"She's with Jigen," Zenigata said dryly.  "And Lavelle might as well be Lupin's already."

"Yeah, well, he is precious," Dawn pointed out.  "Lavelle is very precious because he's still got that spark of innocence that makes him so irresistible."  He looked over at her.  "Remember the award banquet?"  He nodded, giving her a look.  "Remember how you ended up having to tell certain people that they were pretty?"  He nodded faster this time.  "Lavelle's like that all the time about himself.  Only more so about his abilities."

Zenigata growled.  "Those crooks need to let him go and find real help, not their sort.  That sort of thing can be cured and then he could go straight and help us capture them."

"Zenny, even if you got him to go straight, he's *loyal*.  That's why he went to Cleveland that time.  Even though he hated them, they used to be his friends and needed him."

"That's why he took it so hard when Goemon got hurt," he said thoughtfully.  She nodded. "Fine.  Maybe he's the perfect trap then."

"Only if you trap one of the others to get him.  If you trap him, will they react that way?"

"They're a family according to them," Zenigata said firmly.  "They would come for him.  Maybe not openly but they would rescue him."

"Unless he told them not to," she pointed out gently.  His face fell.  "He could probably talk his way around Goemon and he would stop the other two, depending on the reason he was arrested. Marcus would probably go to him, but Lupin might not."  Her phone rang and she ignored it.  "Even Jigen might have to leave him for a while.  Maybe even a few months."

Zenigata slumped.  "You're right.  There are times when they wouldn't be able to get to him immediately."  He looked at her.  "I wish you were a little less honorable and would help us more."

She gave him a sad smile.  "That would betray Lavelle again and I'm the last one he counts on from the original group.  I don't like betraying my friends.  Even the bad guys.  That makes me just as bad as some of them. I'm trying to be better."

He nodded.  "I know.  You're a loyal and good friend to all your friends.  Even those who don't deserve you."

"And aren't we buddies?" she teased.  He nodded, giving her a tolerant smile.  "Then you're coming over for dinner before Morgan decides it's him and Jerry starts to whine for you."

"Fine," he agreed, he liked the kids a lot.  They were adorable.  "Should I bring Mark?"

"If you wanted him to amuse you.  If not, you could help me finish putting together the library," she offered.  He gave her a look.  "You don't like it when I climb ladders," she reminded him.

"You were wearing heels," he reminded her back.  "It was dangerous."

"So I'll go barefoot tonight," she said with a shrug.  The executive gave a polite cough as soon as he was done taking notes. "Sorry," she said with a smile.

"That is all right.  Who are Morgan and Jerry?  Pets?"

"My nephews, I'm raising them," Dawn told him.  "Don't include them."  His face lit up.  "Thanks."

"Not a problem.  We are not including the two infants from the Goemon family either," he promised.  He looked at the inspector, looking very young and hopeful.  "Do you have anything like that?"

"My semi-nephew, Mark, but he's legal now," he admitted.  "He would be working to get us back."

"Good," he agreed, nodding.  "We can make mention of him?"

"You'd have to ask him."  Her phone rang again and she ignored it again.  "I think it's another chewing out," she told him.  He snatched her purse but she took it back.  "Don't dig into a woman's purse, it'll scare you."  He gave her a look.  "Really.  If it's pertinent I'll let you listen to it later."  It rang a third time and she looked at the number, squealing as she answered it.  "Yeah, sweetie?"  She smirked at the executive.  "Lupin said he does want to be an elf."  He nodded, making a note of that.  "Lavelle said he wants some sort of spirit guide or pet.  He really wants a pet something," she told him.  "Even an annoying one."

The executive smiled. "I can do that," he agreed, making another note.  He looked at her, smiling brightly.  "Anything else?"

She listened.  "Mostly just an asschewing at the moment.  Anything else, Lavelle?"  She kept the phone from being snatched.  "Fine, sure.  Thanks, babe.  Yeah, he did want the cat back."  She laughed and hung up.  "He said you can't put him into leather pants.  He said they're not that comfortable.  He spent a weekend in them."  The executive made a note of it. "And remember, he is more than a pretty face and a gunman.  He does have other skills."

"Including learning languages," Zenigata said dryly.

"Also accounting, martial arts, and a bit of a skill with crossbows, arrows, and swords."  He looked at her and she nodded.  "It was necessary in our past."

"Fine. He's a good shot with multiple weapons and decent enough with a sword to have taken out four people before they could run," he said dryly.  The executive was making more notes.  "Let's try not to make the thieves gain audience sympathy.  They're still murdering crooks."

He looked at him and shook his head.  "No.  You will have most of the sympathy.  Plus a lot of lust in this storyline.  When can we sign contract and do photos to draw you from?"

"How are you separating the groups?" Dawn asked.  "I haven't seen anything on that."

"Oh.  There will be bandits, they will steal Lavelle because of his unusual hair.  They will be attracted to him and his group will go after him while you nurse him back to health and then follow them."

"What happens to me?" Zenigata asked.

"You land on top of Lavelle and hurt yourself on his head," he said with a small smile.  Zenigata gave him a look. "It is said he is very stubborn.  We could have you hurt your leg when you fall if you prefer."

"Please," he said.  "My head's harder than his."  Dawn snickered.  "You, no comments or I'm cooking."

"If you want," she promised.  "Or you could do takeout, which is what I was going to do."   He nodded, accepting that.  "Am I already wearing my catsuit?"  The executive nodded.  "Which one do you want me in?  I've got some that are more and less tight."

"Any that dip?" he asked.

She shook her head and moved the neckline of her top. "I don't expose them much because of this," she said quietly.

"I see."  He looked at it and nodded.  "We can either find a magical covering means or I can have them eliminate it if you want."

"I've tried to do that," Dawn admitted.  "It's not wholly successful on that or the ones on my stomach."  He looked interested.  "I don't show those.  The same as Lavelle is hardly ever seen naked."  He made a note of that as well.  "Unless he says otherwise, keep a shirt on him."  She turned off her phone when it rang that time.  "Sorry.  You'd have to ask him though."

"That is fine, I will send him an email.  I am sure he will answer between whatever capers they're doing this week. Either that or before the convention in Las Vegas."

"He's going to another?"

"He's taking Goemon to his first one," Dawn told him.  "He likes Vulcans."

"I wonder why," Zenigata said dryly, giving her a look. "How did he get away during the last one?"

"Hordes of schoolgirls?"

"Good point."  He rolled his eyes.  Those things had hidden him, he was sure of it.

"We hadn't thought of this.  Should we make Lavelle a magical practitioner?" the executive asked.

"Nah, it'll make him even scarier.  He does draw people that to him though.  Make that Marcus.  The martial arts would lead to an orderly mind that would help with the practice of the occult.  You could even make him someone who gets sucked into it accidentally."  The executive made a noise like he was going to come right there.  "Lavelle knows a bit of this and that, I'd keep him that way to make sure he doesn't seem like a God."  The executive nodded and Zenigata groaned.  "If Lupin's an elf, remember he likes to climb things.  Is Jigen staying human?"  He nodded, looking raptly at him.  "Then remember he's got weapon skills too."

"Why don't you suggest that Lavelle be given as a sacrifice too?" Zenigata suggested.

"Because it would hurt him to see that, even if the others came to save him from it," she said firmly.

"He did not seem to mind when he was nearly given to a Dragon," the executive offered.  She nodded that it was okay then.  "Is Mr. Goemon really a picky perfectionist?"

"Only about some things in his own life.  He expects himself to be perfect or as near as possible.  His students have a ways to go to live up to his expectations.  He sets very high standards but he does understand about human fallibility.  He's actually a very sweet and nice guy who blushes whenever anyone makes a dirty joke around him or in the presence of nudity."  The executive gave her a look like she was god.

"You got him to blush?"

"Oh, all the time.  He used to get Fujiko to whine at me to quit making him blush," she admitted with a grin.  "Nudity, dirty jokes, sick jokes, anything like that."  He shook his head, looking bemused.  "Remember, he had a very gentle upbringing, he was very sheltered. He probably learned about the sex stuff from the farm animals.  And if they only had chickens, I feel really sorry for his first lover."  Zenigata cracked, laughing at that.  "What?" she asked innocently.  "Something like that would have made him blush.  As well as the sight of underwear or nudity.  Unless it's his loincloth, then he can run around in it all day and not care or notice that anyone's watching him."

"I'll keep that in mind," the executive said, putting his notes away.  "When would be a good time for you?"

"This weekend, my house," Dawn told him.  "That way you can figure out what you want me in."  He nodded, accepting her address.  "Thank you."  He nodded, bowing and leaving them alone.  She grinned at her lunch companion.  "Is it my treat since I joined you or yours since you're one of those old fashioned males?"

"Mine," he said.  "Or we could split it."  She nodded, and he gasped as her hand came over to play with his knee.  "Dawn!" he said, looking shocked.

"Zenny, either you come home with me tonight or I'm going to have to steal you as something precious that should be kept away from the world," she said softly.  He blinked at her.  "I mean it.  I have a beautiful room for you to live in until I wear down your resistance."

He swallowed, realizing he had already lost.  He nodded.  "Dinner only," he said firmly.  "I believe in dating."

"Of course."  She gave him a blinding smile.  "Thank you, Zenny."  He blushed and looked away.  "Aww, cuteness," she sighed, giving him a smile.  "What are we having for lunch?"

"Now that it's a date, I feel honor bound to pay."

"I'm a modern woman, I'll get it," she promised.  "It's nearly payday for you."  He opened his mouth and she kissed him gently, making him shiver.  "Behave or I'll have to team up with Mark," she whispered.  He nodded, closing his mouth.  "Salads?"

"Fine," he agreed.  "You...you don't mind?"

"Why would I mind?"  She gave him a look.  "As I just pointed out, I am a modern woman."  He nodded, relaxing again.  "Good boy.  Keep it up and I might even show you the contents of my closet to help me pick out what I'd want.  I have things you haven't seen, even one that got Goemon's attention once."

"Wear the blue leather," he said quietly.  "I liked chasing you in that."  She smiled at him and nodded.  "Thank you."

"For dinner or just this weekend?"

"Dinner," he groaned.

"Of course, all you have to do is ask.  I do like dressing up."  She smiled as the waiter came over.  "We would like lunch salads," she ordered.  "Water with lemon."  He nodded, hurrying away.  "See, much better now that we're alone," she reminded him, giving his knee a little squeeze.

"Behave," he hissed.

"I am."  She removed her hand and resettled herself, crossing her legs. "We'll have to do something nice for Lavelle soon.  He thinks one of his groupies is going to become a stalker."  He shuddered.  "I promise, I won't make you sign the card."  He gave her a look.  "You've had one?"  He nodded.  "I'm sorry.  Point the woman out so I can hurt her."  He gave her a smile.  "What?  I protect certain priceless treasures so only I can pluck them," she reminded him.  "Only the best should take some of them.  It's professional pride."

"Then wouldn't your former teacher be the best?"

"Not of the non-violent," she said self-confidently.  He reached over, giving her a punch on the shoulder like she was one of the guys. She gave him a look. "Gee, thanks."  Their lunch came and she put her card down to pay for it, watching as the waiter walked off and came back.

***

Xander opened up the letter that had been forwarded from his PO box in Paris, frowning at it.  "No fucking way," he decided, heading for the office.  He handed it over.  Then he shook his head and walked away.

"I didn't sleep with her," Lupin called after him.

"I don't think I did either.  Especially if that's my stalker.  Can I borrow your lawyer?" Xander called as he walked away.

"Of course you can," Lupin said, smirking at the notice to appear in court for a hearing on the custody of a child.  He shrugged and put it aside.  Xander would be gone tomorrow apparently.  That would give the rest of them time to plan and shop for his birthday.  He came back and got the letter, then shook his head and walked away.  Lupin snorted, shaking his head.  "That boy does liven things up," he muttered, getting back to work on party plans.  They needed to get Xander something magnificent this year.

***

Xander looked at the court guard with the weapons wand and shook his head.  "Don't even try."  The guard opened his mouth and Xander glared over the top of his sunglasses.  "I'm not giving it up, man.  Get over it."  He walked past the station, ignoring the metal detector's shriek. He walked into the courtroom, looking at the mother.  Then he looked at the judge, who was staring at him.  He waved his letter.  "Sorry I'm late."

"It's understandable.  We couldn't find you, Mr....."  He looked at the paperwork in front of him.  "What is your last name, sir?"

"I go by Lavelle.  No last name."  He sat down, looking at the mother.  "How is there a child?  I only met her at a convention recently."

"There is a future child," the judge admitted, looking at him. A guard came in and he waved him off.  "I am sure Mr. Lavelle will not be shooting anyone but it probably makes him feel like he has a chance of getting away."  The guard nodded, standing at the back of the courtroom.  "Mr.  Lavelle," he said, smirking at him.  "Do you not know what protection is?"

"Yes, and I always use it," Xander told him.  "I'm also partially infertile.  Even the doctor I've seen recently said I'm only putting out three good sperm at a shot due to some radiation I was exposed to."

"I see.  Would you submit to a DNA test?"

"As long as it was done by a private doctor who I name."  He looked at the mother.  "I only met her two weeks ago."  He looked at the judge again. "Can you do a paternity test that early?"

The judge looked at the mother.  "Two weeks?"

"I met him in the Riviera last year," she defended.

"I wasn't in the Riviera last year," he told her.  "I haven't been near there in nearly two years."  She glared at him.  "Really.  You can check with the ICPO if you want.  I've got Zenigata on my speed dial so I can annoy him whenever I'm bored.  Want the phone?"

"I would," the judge decided.  Xander pulled it and tossed it to him.  He caught it, looking in the phone book.  He selected that one, listening as it rang into a regular phone.  "Inspector Zenigata?" he asked.  There was silence.  "I am Judge Roberts, I am ruling on a matter of a future paternity.  A young woman is saying Mr. Lavelle was on the Riviera late last year.  He has stated he has not been there in two years."  He listened to the man report when and where the boy had been for the last three years.  "Thank you."  He hung up and tossed it back.  "According to them, he has not been there."  He looked at Xander.  "Will you still submit to a test, just in case?"

"As long as it's done by a private doctor."  He pulled something out of his pocket and handed it over.  "My last genetic workup.  I had one done last night."  He looked at the mother.  "Have her present findings that the infant is real."

The judge looked at it, then at him.  "This is fairly odd."  He looked at the paper again.

"Radiation," Xander said, playing with a piece of his hair.  "Some of it is more harmed than others but that was from a sperm sample."  He looked at the mother.  "It's doubtful anyone could conceive even if the unthinkable happened and the condom broke."

"So I can see."  He looked at the mother's paperwork, then frowned.  "No, this child shows no genetic instability.  I will be sending this to a doctor that I use in such cases for his verification."  Lavelle nodded.  "Your doctor's number?"

"Is on the form," he admitted.  "And he's not my doctor.  He is a doctor, a specialist in fertility."  The judge nodded, looking at him.  "Am I needed?  I'm supposed to be finding something wonderful for my birthday."

"Go. Next time, please do not go through the metal detectors with a weapon."

"Of course not," Xander said with a small smirk.  He pushed his sunglasses up on his nose and walked past the guard, heading out into the pale sunlight.  He walked past the cop car before they could get out and merged with the crowded afternoon rush of people.   He found his way down to his hotel room, grumbling the whole way.  This did suck for him.  It wasn't his if there was even a baby.  Which he doubted.  He laid down on his bed, trying to think of happier thoughts.  Marcus had finally produced the stone that had been giving him such a stomachache and it was one of the ones he had wanted.  He had spent a long time last night cleaning it up.   He didn't care if the others did look at him funny, he thought they were pretty.  He liked pretty things.  That's why he was collecting them.  His cellphone rang and he answered it.  "Joe's House of Wax Underwear Models.  What's your brand?"  He smirked.  "Morning to you too," he snorted.  "Sorry, but it's not my kid if there is a kid."  He sat up.  "Thanks for that by the way.  Love you too, Gramps.  Take good care of Dawnie for me or else I'll have to teach you the meaning of 'protect what was once mine to protect'."  He hung up, shaking his head as he got up to pack and leave to a safer place, just in case the call had been traced.

***

Lupin walked up behind Xander, handing him a folder with a wink.  He smiled at the boy for showing such poise and lack of annoyance.  The judge had postponed this second hearing for a week for an independent analysis of the hair the girl had of his.  He sat behind him, giving him a nod at the folder.

Xander opened it then burst out laughing.  "Really?" he whispered.  Lupin nodded.  Xander smirked and handed back the sonogram picture of the new baby samurai flipping off the technician.  "Cute.  I bet he blushed all the way outside."

The judge cleared his throat.  "Is that pertinent?"

"Family news," Xander told him.  "Sorry."  He looked at the potential mother.  Then at the judge again.  "Should I tell someone to set up a trust?" he asked.

"Not with the samples we have of yours," the judge said.  "The independent analysis confirms Mr.  Lavelle's assertion that it is highly unlikely that he could ever get any woman pregnant.  However, there is a new twist.  We have found out that she was not pregnant before but now is."  Xander's mouth dropped open.  "They did an ultrasound to confirm it.  She is approximately a month along according to it."  Xander swallowed.  "We will not know about this one until it is approximately five months along.  I will have you back here then."  Xander nodded.  "Or we can do the test without you and mail the results."

"Please.  I have no idea where I'll be," Xander admitted. "If it's mine, I'll find it a stable mother and set it up a trust fund."  The judge gave him a look.  "She's already lied once, what is going to keep me believing that she won't hurt the child?  As I said, I'll find a suitable situation for any child I end up creating and then set it up with a trust fund.  That way I don't have to try and raise it and it can't be tainted by my lifestyle."

"That is more acceptable than raising it while you're on the run, young man."  The judge looked at him.  "I believe I told you not to come through the metal detectors with a weapon?"

"I didn't.  I came through the window in your office from the roof," Xander said smartly.  The judge grimaced.  "Your wife's picture is very pretty."

"That's my daughter, young man."

"Oops, sorry."  He shrugged.  "Not my intention to insult.  I did catch all the papers that tried to blow away and I put them in their own folder out of your filing cabinet so you could know what was touched and sort through it later."  The judge continued to frown.  "Next time, I'll use a more conventional entrance."

"See that you do," he ordered grimly.  He looked at Lupin.  "I have heard that they have nearly found your files."

"So have I," Lupin agreed with a smirk.  "Mail it to him, I'll make sure he does right by the child."

"I wouldn't let a child stay with her," Xander said bitterly, standing up.  "You know me better than that."

"True, but I can still look over your shoulder," Lupin said with a smirk.  "The same as you probably will when I have to produce an heir."  He stood up and picked up the sonogram picture.  "Was there anything else?"

"No," the judge said patiently, watching as they walked out, leaving their lawyer.  "The young woman in question will be kept in touch with by this court," he ordered.  "I will see her each month to make sure that nothing is happening to her."  Her lawyer nodded.  "Thank you."  He banged his gavel.  "I will see her in three or four weeks."  He went back to his office to see how bad it had been messed up.  Everything was just as it should be, with the promised extra folder for him to go through.  The boy had even alphabetized his files for him.  "Nervous gunmen?" he snorted.  He sat down to call the inspector and tell him the results, he had wanted to know.

***

Lupin walked Xander into the house, hands on his shoulders.  "We're back!" he called.

Jigen came out of the study.  "Is he vindicated?"

"Up to a point.  She is actually pregnant," Lupin told him.  "One month pregnant."

"That would put it just before the convention," Jigen pointed out.

"So we'll know in five more months," Xander told him.  "He'll be mailing me the results of this one's DNA test."  He shrugged.  "I don't know.  If it is, I need to find her a good mother and set up a trust."

Jigen nodded.  "That seems fair to me."   He pulled the boy closer, giving him a hug.  "Did you get to see the picture yet?"  Xander grinned and nodded, hugging him back.  "Goemon's still shaking his head.  He blames you."

"Of course he does.  It's one of those blame Xander days," he agreed dryly, heading for the dining room.  "I'm back and I may have a child," he announced.  "She's a month pregnant."  Goemon winced.  "Yeah, so I won't know until we can do a paternity test at five months."  He sat down, looking at him. "And yes, I did teach her how to flip you off already.  It's part of my devious plan to give you a hellish child that will test the limits of your patience and reinforce your training."

Goemon laughed.  "I'm sure it will, Xander.  She was not very fond of the noise."  He reached over, patting the boy on the hand.  "What did you want for your birthday?"

"I don't know," he admitted.  "I don't have a clue.  I don't usually celebrate the thing.  I haven't in years."

"Friends do celebrate the important occasions," Goemon reminded him.  "We are friends.  We will be celebrating this one."  Xander nodded.  "Thank you.  Do you not have a single idea?"

"Not a one," he admitted.  "I've got everything I need and most of what I could want."

"Most?" Lupin asked, walking in with a wrapped present.  He handed it over with a kiss for the new owner. "For your other side.  Fujiko said she didn't have enough jewelry."

Xander opened the present with the biggest and brightest smile on his face.  He grinned at his boss when the sapphire and amethyst tennis bracelet was uncovered.  "I love it!" he said happily.

"There's one with a ruby on it too," Jigen promised, handing over a larger package.  "For you.  We had to steal it from Dawn."  He sat down to watch him as he opened it.

"Wow.  My picture album and oooh... a copy of Willow's files?" he asked, holding up the CDs.  Jigen nodded.  "Wow.  Can we use them to delete our old records and start on new ones?"

"No, but your friend Oz can," Lupin told him. "He said he's going to do that."  He passed down the telegram.  Xander read it, grinning in happiness.  Oz said he didn't understand but that he would support him in his life after dealing with Angel for a few months.  That he had found their files and set them to self destruct in four days.  He grinned at Lupin.  "That may backfire," Lupin warned him.

Xander shrugged. "He's understanding me."

"Hmm.  Perhaps I should get you a different present," Goemon offered, handing over an envelope Dawn had given to him.  "Dawn gave this to us when we brought Ishi home.  We think it should go to you since we are not that suitable to go diving at the moment."

Xander opened it, looking at the copied map, drooling.  "Wow."  He looked up. "You're sure?"  He nodded.  "Cool.  Of course I always split with the group."  He went back to tracing where the wrecks had happened.  "Why didn't anyone get these before now?"

"They were illegal shipments.  Pirate ships," Jigen told him.  "I looked them up.  They were reported sunken, nothing else."  He looked at the map.  "That'll be a hard dive anyway."

"We could get a sub," Xander suggested.  "Stock it for a few months?"

"None of us are that good of captains," Jigen reminded him.  He gave him a pat on the wrist.  "We'll figure it out."  Xander nodded, putting it on top of his photo album. "What pictures are in there?  We didn't peek."

Xander touched it. "I'll show you later," he decided.  Jigen nodded.  Xander still saw the worry.  "This is a pre-Buffy photo album."  He pulled it over, but Jigen shook his head.  "It's okay.  Jesse would have thanked me."  He scooted his chair closer, letting him see the first page. "My parents weren't always sucky," he explained.  "My dad liked his life at one time, my mother enjoyed being a housewife, then things went downhill."  He touched his baby picture.  "That was me, of course."  He flipped the page. "And the obligatory embarrassing pictures of course."  Jigen chuckled at that.  He turned the page, jumping years.  "My mother swore up and down I was homely every time she reached for a camera from the time I was six months old to when I was just about three. That's my third birthday.  That's Willow, and that's Jesse."  He pointed at them. He looked closer. "That's Devon?" he asked. He shook his head. "Friend of Oz's who didn't ever really like me."

He changed the page.  "That's the disastrous one with the clown."  He changed the picture quickly, finding one that made him smile. "That's us on our first day of first grade. Back then, even Cordelia was cool.  That's why she was in the picture.  She gained popularity and left the rest of us far behind a few months later."  He touched his own face.  "I was cute back then, no matter what my mother said."  He flipped further back, sparing him the bad hair years as he called them.  He paused at the next to last picture.  "That was us in the ninth grade.  The next-to-last day of school.  Seven months later to the day after this was taken everything was different.  Jesse was dead.  Willow had found a new friend and her crush on me was starting to fade a little.  Buffy was in town."  He looked up and found everyone staring at him.  "What?  She used to have it so bad she could tell my blood pressure and pulse from across the room."  He moved onto the last picture.  "This one was taken six days before Jesse was killed," he said bitterly.  "We had some stupid argument that morning and Willow had made us see we were being idiots so we had posed for a picture for her.  We made up later that night and everything was fine for the last six days before he was replaced by the soulless creature I killed."  He closed the book, stroking it.  "I stole that off Willow.  She wanted to build a shrine to him but I knew she wouldn't keep it up.   I figure she knew where it went but she didn't seem to mind because she never said anything."  He slumped in his chair. "That's most of the sad tale.  You guys know the rest."

"I would have given it to you later if I had known it was going to depress you," Jigen offered.

Xander grinned at him.  "Sometimes it's good to remember, otherwise you forget totally.  Then what would I be?"

"You," Goemon told him.  "Even if you were to forget everything from this moment back to your first memory, you would still be yourself.  Who a person is is more complicated than their memories."  He smiled faintly.  "You might wonder how you knew to shoot so accurately and how you knew how to do a backflip, but you could still do it.  It is instinct as well for you now."

"No philosophical discussions at the table," Lupin ordered.  "Xander, did you want to put that in the safe?"  Xander shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"I'm sure.  That way you don't have to break in to look at it.  It'll be on my dresser."  Lupin snickered.  "It'll be underneath my present one."

"You have a present one?" Goemon asked.  Xander nodded.  "I have never seen you with a camera."

"I've had a small one now for months. It replaced my other small one that I broke during Jigen's birthday."  Jigen shook his head.  "I wasn't taping that.  If I wanted to do that, I would have been more open about it."  He stood up and took his presents up the stairs, bringing back his other one to hand over.  "Here, you can look.  I don't mind."

Goemon flipped through the pictures, first just of Jigen and then of the rest of them.  He had caught them at some of the most odd moments.  There was one of him meditating.  One of Lupin trying to fix something.  One of Jigen mid-reload on the range.  There were standard ones.  Him with Ishi as a newborn, after the hospital since he was wearing the bracelet they had stuck on him.  Him with Fujiko, giving her a backrub.  He looked at the boy, raising an eyebrow and showing that one off.

"I stole it from Lupin," he admitted.  "He took that one and the one with Ishi before it."

"Ah."  He went back to his browsing.  A few with Marcus working out.  Some with his men sleeping in a rumpled bed.  One with him sleeping in a rumpled bed next to Jigen.  Apparently taken by remote by the stiffness in the boy's body.  One of Dawn in there, leaning on Zenigata's arm as they met them when they were coming back.  An earlier one of Dawn was stuck on top of that one, making him laugh.  "Dawn must have been quite the handful as a young girl."

"Oh, yeah," he agreed, grinning and nodding.  "You can't have the next picture either and I will not cite place and time."  Goemon looked at him and turned the page, then looked at Xander.  It was a candid still of the four of them napping together.  When had that happened?  Xander gave him a look.  "No."

"Fine.  You will not even say when?"  Xander shook his head.

Lupin got up to come over and look.  "That was on the boat.  The night after we got done raiding the ruins in Greece.  While Xander was in Cleveland."  He sat down again.  "That looked funny.  My tie camera?"  Xander shook his head.  "Then how?"

"I will not cite my source or place and time," he said firmly.  "You're a smart guy, figure it out."

Goemon sat up suddenly.  "That funny grip Jigen was complaining about."  Xander smirked at him.  "What was causing it?"

"A small homing device," Jigen said, looking at Xander.  "There?"  He shook his head.  "Same time though, right?"  Xander nodded.  "We didn't bring much onto the ship with us."

"Turn the page," Xander suggested.  The next one was turned to and Goemon groaned, shaking his head at the picture of him working out on the boat that next morning.  "Figured it out yet?"  He nodded.  "Don't worry, you can have that one.  I figured it'd come in handy with your wife."

Jigen looked confused.  "What?"

"He put a microfilament camera in my sword grip, on the top of it."  Jigen looked impressed.  "I never hold it by the very end so I have not noticed it."

"What's the overhang?" Lupin asked, looking at that picture sideways.

"It's in the dragon design," Xander told him.  "In the mouth of it."  He winked.  "Yes, I stole it from the workroom."  Lupin shrugged and smiled back at him.  "I've got some amazing pictures from that thing.  Go over two more.  The next one will probably make you blush or pissed."  Goemon turned the page, finding a very candid shot of Marcus working out semi-naked and sweaty, apparently with his sword.  He grunted and changed it again, finding the next picture funny.  He showed it to the rest of the group.  They all laughed.  It was Ishi's last bad day and they were all worn out from trying to soothe the little prince of the household.  Jigen's hat was on sideways.  Lupin's hair was sticking up.  Goemon was collapsed in exhaustion.  Fujiko was sprawled on the floor.  Marcus was giving the innocent looking sleeping baby a look like it was demonic.  Xander wasn't in the picture.  "I took that one with a normal camera but most everyone was too tired to notice."

"You are not in many of these," Goemon noted, turning the page.

"They're my memories, I know I was there."

"Still, most people have a few of themselves."  The next one made him smile.  Xander had been caught in the water, swimming smoothly through someone's pool. "Like that one."   Xander looked, frowning at Lupin.

"I had to.  You didn't have many of you in there," he said innocently.  He grinned.  "Mind much?"

"No.  When was that one taken?"

"On board the last ship."

Xander nodded. "It'd almost have to be, I haven't been in the water since then and only on the boat before then for nearly a year."  He settled himself back down, taking the photo album.  There were other pictures that had been stuck in there by someone else.  Pictures of him sleeping, working out, wearing an outfit he hated.  He held it up and shook his head.  "Get me in something nicer."  He pulled it back down to look at the other ones.  Dancing with Jigen in that stupid purple outfit made him nudge him and point it out.  Jigen nodded, apparently he had put it in there.  The next few were more candid.  Him collapsed on the bed, a sweaty mess after sex.  Him in the tub after that whole scar tissue incident.  Him holding Ishi as Sylvia with Murami looking on.  Him holding Ishi as a guy and having the baby sucking on his neck.  The choker incident.  He smiled at that, turning to the last page.  It was him cuddled between his two men, collapsed and sleeping.  The sun was shining on him, making him look like he had a halo.  His arms were around Jigen and Lupin was stroking his back, looking down at him while Jigen gave him a thoughtful look.  He looked like a porcelain statue in that one.  "When was that one taken?"  Jigen shrugged and so did Lupin.  "One of you two must have taken it."

Goemon coughed and shook his head.  "I did.  I found them that way and used his tie camera to catch you all.  I thought it was very representative of you three.  It is in my own photo album if the wife hasn't shredded it."

"You can have another copy if she has," Xander promised.  He let Jigen have the book, watching him looked stunned and hand it on.  "That is an excellent picture.  I look ethereal in that one."

Goemon nodded.  "Very heavenly.  Yet much too pale.  We need to make you workout in the sun more often.  That is why tomorrow afternoon you will bring me your new sword and we shall see what you can really do."  Xander sighed and nodded.  "Good boy."

Fujiko walked in and stopped to look at the picture in the book.  "When was that taken?" she asked, sitting down with their resident prince.  "How did it go, Xander?"  She tossed him a package.  "The baby picked it out.  He cooed at it and the new one moved for the first time while I was looking at it so they decided it was you."

He grinned and opened it, holding up the necklace. "It's pretty," he agreed, grinning at her.  "Thank you, guys."  He waved at Ishi.  "Morning, little guy.  I'll know in four more months if I have one of you on the way."  She frowned.  "She was found to be a month pregnant upon examination," he said dryly, looking at her.  "If it's mine, it's being taken from her and put into an excellent home with a good trust fund so it won't have to starve and so the parents will take good care of it."

"What about the picture?" she asked.

"I took it," Goemon admitted.  "I caught them a few mornings ago.  It was too good to waste."  He took his son, making him wake up and glare at him.  "Do not give me that look, son.  It will only come back to make your training harder."  His son seemed to sigh and settled onto his chest.  "Thank you."

Xander chuckled.  "When should he start crawling?"

"In another four or five months," Fujiko said.  "Walking right after that.  We'll have to go through and move some of the pretty vases out of baby range."  Lupin gave her a look, horrified.  "Babies, sticky fingers, pulling themselves up on tables like the one in the hall upstairs?" she reminded him.  He groaned.  "Yeah.  Broken stuff.  I've got the book on babyproofing upstairs.  I'll hand it over later.  I've been working on our room."

"The outlet covers need a convenient way to remove them without resorting to a prybar," Goemon warned.  Everyone sighed.  "I would not let him down upstairs anyway.  We do not have a gate on the stairs so he cannot fall."

"Can we designate a wandering range?" Xander asked hopefully. There was a lot of stuff that would have to be moved off decorative tables.  "Or can we maybe stick stuff to the tables?" he suggested.  "Sticky pads?"

"That might be a solution.  I'll talk to the housekeeper," Lupin agreed quickly.  He liked how the house was decorated.  Jigen simply grunted.  "No opinion on the matter?"

"I'm all for putting him in one room and letting him wander in there.  Maybe we can pad it for routine freakouts too."

Lupin gave him a look but it was Xander who pinched him. "I haven't had a breakdown recently, thank you."  He looked at the disgruntled baby.  "Want me, Ishi?"  The baby snorted and buried his face against his father's neck, blocking out the nasty older people.  "I guess we wore out his patience with us," Xander quipped, making Fujiko smile.  "Now what?"

"Now, we were going to have a special dinner, but we haven't called it in yet," Lupin admitted.  "Pizza and Chinese?"  Xander beamed.  "And a cake, which will stay in the freezer for now."  Xander gave him a wondrous look.  "Hey, I like you, kid. Otherwise I wouldn't order you pizza."  Xander got up and came over to hug him.  "It's okay.  Happy thirty-second, Xander."

"Thanks, Lupin."  He gave him a kiss and went to kiss Jigen, then everyone else.  Marcus walked in during that, blushing hard.  Xander took his present from him and kissed him too, making him moan.  "Thanks, Marcus."

Marcus sat down, taking the baby to hide his own blush.  "I haven't received one of those since that assignment."

"What did you do to deserve that?" Jigen asked.

"I played along very well," he informed him.  He tossed over another bag. "Hopefully that is the last of those.  I'm tired of it."

"I don't know why the condom broke," Xander promised.  "At least I padded them in fat."

"True, that was the only thing that saved me a probable torn intestine," he agreed.  He nuzzled the baby, making Ishi swat him.  "Sorry, love.  I'll let you sleep."  The baby glared at him and closed his eyes again.  "You can open it, Xander."

Xander opened it, smiling at the nice wooden box inside.  "Is anything trapped in there?"

"No.  It's a jewelry box," Marcus said, rolling his eyes.  "I would not give you a trapped spirit, you would release it to fight it."  Xander grinned at him.  "Are we expecting others?"

"Murami sent me a card.  So did Gramps," Xander admitted, putting the pretty box aside.  Now he had things to put in it.  "Dawn went with my fake birthday instead of my real one this year.  Maybe she was hoping to stump Gramps but he had my real California's driver's license in Cleveland so I know he knows."  He got more comfortable, putting his feet up on Marcus' thighs.  "Hold still," he ordered. Marcus gave him a look.  "It's my birthday," he pouted.  "I'm thinking."  He considered it.  "Then there's the nice summons from the court early last week.  That was one hell of a birthday gift."  Everyone snickered.  "I don't remember her jumping me but then again....." he trailed off.  "If she was there and not helping, the ladies did take the condoms with them," he admitted.  "I noticed there weren't enough in the trash the next morning."  He shrugged off that thought.  "Then there's the summons I got last night to go see the Don of the European Syndicate."  He looked at Lupin. "Did you get that too?"  He nodded.  "That's early next week.  Plus, Murami warned me to be more careful with my credit card.  The fact that the one I used at the con has my own name worried her.  I explained that it's about the only place where I can be myself and she agreed but still warned me to be more careful, comparing it to a secret identity."  He shifted again, tipping his head back.  "I don't think I'm expecting more unless I suddenly have a fanclub and they send me something."  He looked at Lupin, who shook his head.  "That's good at least.  This whole groupie thing is really starting to freak me out.  Am I going to walk off a plane someday to screaming fans waving pens and paper?"

Jigen laughed. "That would make a wonderful distraction," he noted.  He looked at Lupin.  "If this Oz kid pulls off what he thinks he can, how are we going to restart our records?"

"I vote that we pretend to go legit for a while, while hiding what we're really doing to build back up to it," Xander offered.  "Play Stump the Cop."

Lupin shuddered. "Ew.  No.  Bad idea, Xander.  We stump him enough as is.  I'd rather stay open with my crime spree."  An alarm started to go off and he went to check the security system.  "Xander, for your birthday apparently we're being raided," he announced.

Xander and Marcus stood up, going out to stop them.  Ishi was taken from them by the worried mother, who went to hide upstairs.  Xander pulled his favorite firearm and pointed it at the two people sneaking through the gate when they got close enough.  He fired above one's shoulder and below one's feet.  "Freeze," he yelled.  "Any further and I'm killing someone."  Both people looked at him, looking like young kids.

Marcus walked down to meet them, scowling just like his father.  "Who are you?" he demanded.  "What are you doing on this property?"

They looked clueless and started to sniffle but Xander knew something was up.  "Marcus, trap," he called.

Marcus pulled his sword and backed away from them.   He backed up against Xander, looking around.  "How could you tell?"

"No tears."  Xander scanned in the other direction and soon a figure vaulted over the wall to land in front of them. "Oh, gee, let's see.  You leapt the wall.  Superhero?"  The man sneered.  "No.  Friend of Goemon's?" he suggested.  That got an even bigger sneer.  "Hmm.  Friend of Cummings?"  The man lunged and he switched weapons, grabbing Marcus' sword since the guy was pulling a blade.  "Shoot the decoys," he demanded as they faced off.

"Xander, you are not a master of the blade," Marcus complained.  He shot them both in the leg, wincing when they cried out and more came over the wall.  Jigen and Lupin were getting them from further up the drive and Goemon was heading out to help.  He looked at the man. "Can't I just shoot him?"

"No. I'm having fun," Xander announced.  "Should I quit playing with you now, darling?  Or are you gonna get worse?"  The man growled and Xander ducked under his next wide swing, gutting him.  He stood over the moaning body, shaking his head.  "Rank amateur.  I've only been doing this for a few years and even I know better than to chop down like that."  He looked at the other guys, switching weapons between shots again.  His gun was fired behind where he had been standing, taking out someone coming over the wall in that direction.  Non-fatally since wasn't sure who it was.  For all he knew it could be Dawn or Faith again.  When everyone was down or dead, he wiped off his forehead.  "Damn, I forgot how hard of work that was."  He walked off, shaking his head.  "Someone came over the wall.  I put it into their shoulder," he said, pointing at the top right one.  "They're probably critical."  He handed off his gun and went to take a nap. He was tired now.

Lupin looked at the boy's back.  "Xander, I will be watching your sword practice tomorrow," he ordered.  "For being a rank amateur, that was too good."  Xander waved a hand.  He looked at Goemon, who shrugged.  "It wasn't your style."

"It was not," he agreed, going to check on the person over the wall.  He frowned and shoved him back, then went to call their neighbors and warn them that someone had been sneaking around and he had heard a shot on their lawn.  The other bodies were quickly cleaned up, dispatched or sent away.  Goemon looked around at the mess.  "It was nice of the Don to send someone to test him," he noted.

"It was," Lupin agreed, grinning at him.  "Think we should target him next?"

"It would please me greatly," Goemon agreed, leading the way back into the house.  Xander was cuddling a protesting cat while he napped.  "Perhaps we should buy him a bear?" he suggested dryly, saving the poor beast. He went to put it over the wall again, making it hiss at him as it landed.  "Stay there," he warned. He went to check on his son, finding his wife pacing in their room.  "It is fine.  The Don was not pleased."

"I'm going to kill the fucker this time," Fujiko ranted.  "How dare he endanger my children!"

Goemon sat down, pulling her into his lap on her next pass so he could hold them both.  "That is what we had planned," he promised.  "You are still delicate."

"Goemon!"

"Tough, woman, deal with it. You are pregnant.  The baby can be hurt."  He put a hand over her stomach.  "I do not want any of you hurt.  Do not fuss.  You can help from the room this time."  She nodded, grimacing.  "Thank you."  He let her go but she stayed so he held her closely, comforting her.  The baby woke up and yawned at him.  "Go back to sleep, son.  It was nothing."  The baby closed his eyes again and sucked his thumb, never quite making it back to sleep.  "I should have taken a picture of the boy with that cat."

"It would give you teasing material later," she agreed, giving him a kiss.  "I can go?"

"As long as you stay out of danger and keep him from it."  She nodded.  "Did you know why the boy panicked so badly when you gave birth?"  She shook her head.  "He admitted it to me.  He had a nightmare while he was unconscious.  It showed him stuck in the necklace and having to have twins to get it free.  He had to take it from their dead bodies somehow and have Ethan perform the spell."  She shuddered.  "I lost you as well," he told her, stroking her chin with his thumb.  "I do not want that to happen, Fujiko.  I would rather see you safely out of the way if possible.  Soon he will need another sort of care and he will start picking up clues.  Even with Marcus here all the time, he will need you more."  She opened her mouth.  "It is something you will have to come to grips with some day.  You are a mother now.  You can do many things here that are very helpful and still get out sometimes.  I would rather have you here than in danger all the time.  I do not want either of you hurt."

She nodded, slumping a little.  "I'm sure we'll be fine."

"Even if we do bring both you and Marcus along with him, it will still mean that you are in danger and so is our son and eventually our daughter."  She looked at him.  "Take a few years off," he encouraged.  "When they're in school it will be easier to work."  She nodded, accepting that.  "Besides, this way I will have you three to come home to.  Or to come home and babysit while you do your own thing," he admitted at her stare.

"Fine, I'll think about it," she said firmly.

"That is all I ask.  Babies are incredibly fragile and cannot help themselves if they are hurt.  Unlike you and I."  He held her tighter for a moment.  "Sometimes I wonder if it was wise to start a family, then the son smiles at me and pees on me."  She laughed, giving him a hug.  "Thank you. I think it is the universe trying to tell me something."

"That you're too old?" she teased.

"No, that I have been peed on enough and eventually the world will be potty trained and make sense again."

She laughed.  "That's not for another two years, Goemon.  Then this one."  She patted her stomach.  The baby shifted and she put his hand over the area, making him smile.

"Food's here," Jigen yelled up the stairs.

Goemon stood up, picking his wife up and taking her to the bed.  "We can eat later," he decided, taking his son to put him into his crib and cover the side facing their bed.  He was going to have his own celebratory meal.

Lupin went in to wake up Xander, smiling at him.  He looked so innocent sleeping there like that.  He gave him a gentle touch, earning a sleepy grumble.  "Xander, dinner," he said softly.  Xander grabbed him and pulled him down, rolling them onto the floor so he could be cuddled.  "If this is a seduction all you had to do was ask," he said with a small laugh.  Xander was snoring into his neck.  "Jigen, help," he called. "He's groping me in his sleep."

Jigen came in and shook his head.  "He did that to me too a few times after we first hooked up.  He'll struggle if you don't let him phase his own way out of it."  Lupin gave him a look.  "Seriously.  I'm not lyin'," he promised, heading off to get his own food while it was hot.

Xander gave him a squeeze before lifting his head, his eyes only slitted open.  "What's wrong?"

"It's dinner.  Your birthday dinner," Lupin told him.  Xander nodded, giving him a kiss.  "Thanks.  Let's go."  Xander stood up, stumbling in that direction.  Lupin winced when he ran into the door frame.  "Hold on, Xander."  He stood up, helping him into the bathroom to let him use it.  The boy was batting at the handle when he was done so he knew what he needed.  He got him cleaned up then turned the boy around, leaning him against the sink as he kissed him. Xander made humming noises, his eyes still partially closed.  He pulled back and watched the boy lick his lips.  "I have soda for you, Xander, or you can have a quick blowjob."  Xander gave him a slight grin. "Which would you prefer?"

"Mmm.  Kiss," he said, taking one.  "Like kisses."  He latched onto Lupin's neck, making him pull him closer and kiss him again.

Jigen walked in, shaking his head.  "Is he having a technology phobic day?"  Lupin nodded, smiling at him.  "Xander, wake up. Your food's getting cold."  Xander gave him a sated look so he kissed him, making him moan and arch toward him.  "Only if you wake up.  If you do, I'll try to force myself to give you a handjob later," he promised.  Xander groaned and gave him another kiss, then stumbled toward the dining room.

Marcus gave him a dirty look, turning it onto the older men.  "You shouldn't have molested him so close to a fight.  He's worn out and won't be able to enjoy the subtle wrongness of Frenchmen cooking Chinese food."

Lupin gave him an innocent look.  "All I did was kiss him, Marc.  Trust me."  Someone pounded on the front door so he went to open it, looking at the woman on the other side.  He winced.  "Which one was it?" he asked.

"Mark," she said, frowning at him. "Xander got him good too!  He was trying to help!"  She slapped at him, then stomped off.  "Be more mean to my family, I do know where you live," she warned, heading over to help heal him some more.

Lupin jogged out to catch her.  "Dawn, it was an accident," he said softly.  "We were being invaded and all Xander saw was another guy coming over the wall. That's why there's some new dead bodies across the way."  She looked stunned.  "Yeah, here.  The new Don is not happy with Xander.  Xander didn't want to talk to him because he's loyal to me and not him.  So he decided to stage an invasion for his birthday."

She glared.  "Fine.  I'll accept his injury this time.  What can I do to help?"

He smiled. "Don't worry, we'll plan you into it," he promised.  "You and your whole new team."  She blushed.  "Go play with your man, I'm sure he's fussing over Mark greatly."  She nodded, heading up and over the wall to check on him.  Lupin headed back inside, finding Jigen with his mouth open and Xander on his knees in front of him. "It's his birthday, not yours."

"He attacked him," Marcus said, bright red now. "Said it made him happy or some such."  He buried his face behind a book again, forcing himself not to listen.  "I tried to protest but Xander bit me on the knee."

"That's fine."  Lupin looked down at Xander.  "Hurry up so you can eat," he ordered.

Xander looked up and grinned. "Present," he said with his sleepy/happy voice.  Jigen groaned and he went back to what he had been doing, making him make pretty noises.

Lupin dished himself up some food, shaking his head.  He could hear more noises coming from the vents so Goemon must be relaxing with the little woman again too.  Jigen finally came so he poured him some water, handing over the glass as he felt his own pants be opened.  "Xander, I don't have a problem with you and doing that in public, but not at the table," he said gently.  "In the living room later, while we're watching tv."  Xander nuzzled him.  "I mean it or I won't tie you down tonight."  Xander recovered him and then shifted back into his seat, grabbing some food for himself.  "Thank you, Xander."  Xander gave him a sleepy smile, then slowly put his head down again.

"That was one hell of a birthday present," Jigen decided.  "Almost as nice as treasure."

"He is a treasure," Lupin reminded him smugly.  "We can give him his present from us later."  Jigen laughed and finished off his water.  "Xander, eat.  You'll want it later," he called.  Xander shrugged and snuffled into his plate.

You Called?

Xander walked into the office dragging a man by his throat.  He laid him on the carpet and shrugged.  "I told him I wasn't giving up my gun, he didn't believe me.  I was being nice, he's only unconscious."  The Don stared at him so he sat down.  "So, you sent an invasion for my birthday," he said smugly.  "Should I be upset, happy, or surprised?"

The Don laughed.  "I did not order that, young man.  One of my minions did against my wishes."

"Uh-huh, and are they floating yet?" Xander asked.  The Don shook his head.  "I see."  He crossed his legs.  "You wanted to speak to me that badly?"

"I would like to do an interview with you.  I know you prefer to be by Lupin's side but sometimes you do solo jobs and I have many opportunities that I could use you in.  Would you consent to work for me during the down times?"

"On some important things," Xander admitted.  "With Lupin's permission."

"You have to ask his permission?"

"I respect him enough to see if it's going to interfere with anything he's got going on," Xander corrected.  "Jigen didn't have to take me in and teach me.  He could have patted me on the head once he was healed or killed me."

"I heard a little about that.  How did you two meet?"

Xander shuddered.  "An unhappy moment in my life that became much better when I ran into a warehouse to get away from someone trying to kill me.  The person who had him was bragging, I attacked him because he sounded like a bad guy, knocking him down and taking his gun.  I shot him and then like the good guy I was, I picked Jigen up and carried him to a local cheap motel I had been heading for."  He shrugged.  "Nothing less dramatic."

"Do you know who had him?"

"Do I care who had him?" Xander countered coolly.  "He was a bad guy, an annoyance who was endangering my life further.  My life was already in danger from my friends.  My mind was addled at the time from the torture I had just survived.  I was barely thinking on the human level.  Tending him brought me back fully.  He discovered he liked me."  He gave him a grin.  "Good thing, huh?"

"A very good thing, Lavelle," the Don agreed, nodding at him.  "So you respect Lupin and Jigen.  What about Goemon?"

"I respect him just as much.  He's taught me some incredible things since I've met him.  We've had some problems with not fully understanding each other but we've had to work them out when Lupin said I couldn't quit because I failed to protect him," he said honestly.  The Don gave him a look.  "His orders, his fight, I had to stand by and watch."

"Hmm.  The ninja with the nose?"  Xander nodded.  "I heard about that on the news.  That looked like a very bad fight."

"Desperate creatures are desperate to save themselves," Xander pointed out.   "We've since talked a lot and worked it out."

"Good.  I have heard you younger pair are cross-training.  How are you liking it?"

"I like it a lot.  Spending time with Goemon has made me learn a lot about what I wasn't understanding in my anime collection before," he said smartly.   The Don laughed.  "With any luck he'll teach me to do more than hack and slash soon."

"I heard you were better than that," the Don said, smiling at him.  "Even from Goemon himself."  Xander shifted, looking uncomfortable.  "They don't praise you?"

"They do.  I'm not up to *my* standards yet."

"Ah.  Then you are very hard on yourself.  A perfectionist on the job?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  I like people who have such stringent standards for themselves.  They tend not to try to double-cross me."  He tossed over a folder.  "I believe you know him."

Xander picked it up and looked over Ethan's dossier.  He tossed it back and nodded.  "Ethan is under my protection.  He used to be mine.  He's still teaching me things.  My life would start going to hell if he died."

"Interesting."  He looked at the boy.  "He did double-cross a member of my personal family."  Xander shrugged.  "That doesn't upset you?"

"He's a chaos wizard loyal to Janus.  What did you expect?"  The Don looked stunned.  "Janus is the God of Chaos, but also of alternate paths and beginnings.  There's a reason he's got two faces.  His purposes are many and varied, but confusion and chaos follows his people everywhere.  He's liked me for years," Xander said dryly.

The Don looked at him.  "I see."  He gave the boy a new appraising look.  "Very interesting.  I hadn't done that much research into him.  You know about that stuff?"

"I grew up in Sunnydale and I helped the Slayer there," he said simply.  That should explain it if the guy knew anything.  He looked clueless so he chuckled.  "Do the research.  It's a little past what Ethan does.  Or in Ethan's background if you do a check.  You'll cross paths with Miss Summers," he said wisely.

"Her.  She works with Zenigata?"

"That's her younger sister Dawn," Xander told him.  "Buffy's in Cleveland being a blight and big savior of humanity again.  Dawn's like my younger sister but I agree, she couldn't have lived the life full time.  She didn't want to do the necessary in bad situations.  Her thing was breaking and entering to feed her addiction of pretty things.  Other fundamental skills in the job weren't really high on her concern list."  He nodded slowly.  "The Inspector, though, he's fun."  He grinned again.  "I like Gramps."

"Why do you call him that?"

"Marcus and I are both basically the team, second generation. Since they call him Pops I thought it'd be appropriate."  He gave a one-sided shrug and a small smirk.  "He hates it.  It irritates him to no end."

The Don nodded.  "I understand how that is.  I have a few people who do something similar to me.   Do you think this new task force will be better at catching you?"

"We're only one of their targets.  Yes, I think some day they may succeed; I'm not looking for them to do it anytime soon though.  They're team members, all cops from tougher places.  They're also individualists.  I met two of them at the last convention I went to.  Interesting men and both shooter quality from what I saw, but still very lone wolf in attitudes."  The Don nodded.  "That leaves the older of Gramps' three rookies, the one I saved in the quake in Hong Kong, who hates me, and one of his present ones.  I think he's staying because he wants Dawn.  Dawn won't give us up, she's said so very often.  She's got enough money to live comfortably for the rest of her natural life and to leave her nephews something as well if they fire her for refusing."

"I thought they were her kids."

"She gained custody of them, they're her sister's sons."

"Oh.  And the little girl you had shipped back to her?"

"A former friend of ours' daughter," he said coolly.  "Tara's a sweetheart and very much under my protection, as are the boys.  Dawn is very special in my life.  The group of people who I'll protect with my life is small but they are in there, as well as Tara's little sister and Faith."

"Ethan's girl?" Xander nodded.  "What was she to you?"

"The first to shock me into seeing my own dark side," he offered.  "She had a bad spot in there that made me take a long look at myself.  Other events made me look at myself harder, but she started the process."  The Don gave him a thoughtful look.  "She's on a redemption kick and has offered to help me if I suddenly find out I have a conscience, but I'm not foreseeing it."

"You have a conscience?"

"Some.  I prefer my targets to be bad guys themselves.  I don't ever want to have to hunt the innocent.  Murdering an innocent is not in my list of top ten things to do with my life."  He shifted, crossing his legs in the other way.  "I realize it can happen during a bad scene.  I've even accepted it fully.  I had that before I ever took up with Jigen.  I lived a slightly rough life before then and it happens that people get drawn into bad things."

"Would that be where you learned to fight?" he asked.

Xander smirked.  "Didn't do much research on me either?" he suggested lightly.  The older man frowned at him.  "You have no idea who I was, Don, and being respectful I'd rather keep it that way.  I learned to fight to save my own ass and the ass of others in the world.  I learned to fight to save my own ass because there are assholes at the gay clubs in the US about every month who try shit.  It was usually about every third visit for me."  The older man swallowed.  "I don't brawl well, but I can ambush and take out the edges very well.  I also learned to fight some of the darker elements in the world to save myself and others from a horribly painful death.  That's part of my past that Faith shares, the same as Dawn and Buffy do and Ethan tried to guard me from at times. It's the same part of my past that made me so distinctive to look at."  He flicked a finger toward his hair.  "I deal with the strange and unusual for a reason, Don.  That reason is my past," he said gently.

The Don nodded.  "You're right.  I did some internet searches to see what's said about you.  I had someone try to get into Zenigata's home computer but it's apparently not hooked into the internet often."

Xander shook his head.  "He doesn't spark me as someone who would be a surfer that way," he agreed.  "I think my file from his is still on paper.  Cummings said he had glanced at it before he died."  The other man's mouth fell open.  He had just taken over and apparently no one had told him about that.  "Yes, I was involved in that as well."

"I heard you were guarding Fujiko's back.  Nice job getting her away from him before he killed her."

"I wanted to move sooner," he sighed.  "I couldn't and she wouldn't have let me," he pointed out.

"That was not a criticism, young man.  It was a statement of fact."  He gave him a satisfied look.  "Why should I let you walk out of here?  You did hurt my man.  You are very odd and very distinctive.  You have the potential to bring a lot of attention to us."

"Only if I work for you," Xander pointed out dryly, smirking at him.  "I work for Lupin.  I work when Lupin wants me to and only for him.  Even if I took special cases from you, it would still be at Lupin's discretion.  Where is your risk in that?"  He glanced at the man on the floor, then back at the Don.  "As for him, he should have known better.  I'm not known for being without a weapon of some sort.  Including the one that's already in my hand," he said, waving the knife he had let down his sleeve.  The Don looked stunned and moved his hand away from the gun he had been reaching for.  "I was paranoid before Jigen ever saw me," he told him.  Then he shrugged and stood up, bowing.  "It was interesting meeting you.  I wish you a long and prosperous reign.  I have a spot I like.  Feel free to call me if you've got special cases and send them through either Lupin or Jigen."  He walked out, stepping over the body.  He walked outside, pulling back on his sunglasses.  He handed the guard at the door his knife back with a bright grin.  "I took it," he said with a wink.  He strolled out whistling, heading into the warm sunlight.  He tapped his pin twice to let Lupin know he was out of range.  He heard a gunshot and winced.  "Ow.  Hate to be him right now."  He shrugged and went back to the car, getting into the back, his usual spot.  "Morning."

"Morning," Jigen told him.  "Didn't Lupin tell you not to annoy him?"

"I didn't.  I stated my case," Xander defended, taking off his sunglasses.  "I was as nice as I ever am.  That was polite.  I didn't laugh in his face, I didn't make fun of his skin cancer.  I didn't even make fun of his really ugly tie."  Jigen shook his head, starting the car and taking off.  "Everyone else back at the hovel?"

"Yep.  We're getting dinner."

"Cool.  I could use a soda," Xander admitted with a grin.  He laid down, getting comfortable.  "Tell me when it's my turn to do anything else."

"Sure, kid," Jigen said tolerantly.  "Are you sure you're not pregnant?"

"If I am, you're in deep shit," Xander retorted.

Jigen laughed.  "It could be Lupin's."

"Then he'd be in deep shit," Xander agreed.  "But hopefully it'd be the heir he needs."  He closed his eyes.  "I think I impressed him more than pissed him off."

"I'd say so, but that poor guard is dead."

"He was nearly dead before," Xander offered.  "Little punk tried to cop a feel too."  Jigen snorted, pulling through a drive-thru.  He pulled out his wallet and handed it over.  "My treat if I've got enough."

Jigen took it and looked at the cash, then back at him.  "Yeah, you should.  Not even the walking stomach that used to be Fujiko could eat this much food."  He pulled up to the microphone, ordering them a decent enough dinner.  Not his usual taste sensation but definitely what Lupin had been craving.  These pregnancy cravings were going to make them all fat.  "Goemon gained another two pounds," he reported.

"It's like he's carrying her," Xander snorted.  "Should I offer to rub his stomach for him?"

"I wouldn't offer today, he was sharing her hormone swing earlier," Jigen warned.  His phone rang so he handed it back, taking the food from the pretty teen at the window.  "Thanks."  He took the drink tray and drove off, heading back to their rented house.

Xander answered it, listening to the angry samurai on the other end.  "Goemon, pause for a breath," he said with fond tolerance.  He got growled at and hung up on.  He dialed the cell again, snickering when Goemon growled into it.  "Think about it, man.  You're not the pregnant one.  If she's driving you that insane, then you're going to need a way to wear those hormones out.  Yeah, sure, I'll spar with you when we get back," he agreed, ignoring Jigen's wince and hiss.  "Not a big.  I've got medical insurance."  Goemon laughed at that.  "Think I'm kidding?  I've had it since I was eighteen.  It was necessary!"  He snickered at the amused sounding noises from the other end.  "Sure. Let me get some soda and we'll try to wear those extra pounds off," he promised sarcastically. "Or maybe you should go and cure *her* hormone swing?"  He laughed and hung up.  "He's feeling better."

"I still don't want to be you the next time he needs to spar," Jigen said, shaking his head.  "We'll miss you."

"I'm sure you will.  I'll only be bruised."  Xander sat up, grabbing the only dark soda in the drink tray.  "Mine?"  Jigen nodded so he sat back to sip it as they traveled.  "Think he'll try something?"

"Probably," Jigen agreed.  "He doesn't like Lupin very much.  Dolune was a pretty good guy to him so of course his successors aren't.  It seems to be the way it goes."

"If something has to happen, is there a clear power holder after him?" Xander asked.  Jigen glanced back at him in the mirror.  "Just if something had to happen," he said.  "I wasn't planning on anything."

"You'd have to ask Lupin.  I'm not sure about who's next in line."  He turned into their driveway, letting the boy carry the food inside.  He followed behind him, still shaking his head.  "Did you hear? He asked a very interesting question," he said as he sat across from Lupin and sprawled in the kitchen chair.

"I did. The next guy is worse, a military-sort."  He grimaced.  "I'd almost rather do him first if something had to happen that way some day."  He glanced over as Goemon came out of his room and handed Xander a kendo stick, then he winced.  "We'll let you soak in the tub later, Xan."

"Thanks, boss," he said with a cheeky grin.  "The basement or the back yard?"

"The back yard.  Take off whatever they put on you and the one Lupin used."  Xander handed over both bugs, they were on his jacket, and followed him outside in just his pants and shirt.  His shoes were toed off because the lawn was very lush and he could use a few minutes in his bare feet.  "Ready?" he asked.  Xander nodded so he lunged.  Xander blocked as he had expected and moved quickly to try and get him on the side.  Just as he had expected.  Then he gave him a crack across the rear with the stick, not what was expected, making him jump and give him a shocked look.

"What?  You asked for a spar," Xander told him impishly.  He grinned.  "Come on.  If you're going to have hormone swings like a woman, you should fight like one."  Goemon glared at him and attacked again, getting into it.  He'd be bruised but his buddy would feel much better by the time they were done.  He even managed to land a killing blow to the samurai's stomach at one point, but weathered three of his own, wincing at the one across his neck.  "Ow," he noted, rubbing it.  "If you kill me for real, you have to spoil your wife all by yourself."

Goemon backed off, bowing to him.  "Thank you, Xander.  I do feel more normal now."

"Welcome."  He handed over his stick, still rubbing his neck.  "No fair."  He punched him on the arm.  "I didn't go for permanent injury on you."  He swallowed. Then he tried coughing.

"I have something in there to make a poultice with," Goemon promised, walking the boy inside.  He would have some livid bruises, especially that one.  Lupin gave him a look.  "I pulled my blow," he said firmly.  "Otherwise I could have snapped his neck."

"That's the point," Lupin told him.

"I'm not that hurt," Xander said, hoping to calm him down too.  "He needed a good workout. I am one of those.  Besides, I probably deserved it for not being more aware of where he was."

"That was an unkind blow on my part.  I am sorry," Goemon said as he treated the boy's injuries.

"Eh, you were clouded by hormones," Xander said with a light grin.  An ice pack was handed to him and he iced his new bruised ribs.  "Thanks."  He went to lay down.  "Tomorrow isn't my turn again, right?"

"I will not need it," Goemon said firmly.  "Marcus."  Marcus came up from the basement.  "We will work on our control meditation."

"Of course, Master.  Did you need to spar again?" he asked.

"No, I just got done," he admitted, moving his sweaty hair off his neck.  "Xander is bruised."  He walked him outside, needing the fresh air.

"How long before the third one?" Jigen asked.

"Three to five years," Xander croaked.

Lupin came over to look at him.  "Nice playacting.  You're getting better," he praised.  "It would have hurt him if he had thought you had really gotten hurt."

"Old habits die hard," Xander said hoarsely.  "I'll live."

Lupin went to get him a second ice pack, shaking his head.  "You're braver than I am to weather that temper," he told him, giving him a pat on the head.  He went back to the table.  "Xander, I'm taking your burger."

"Cool with me.  I'll eat later," he agreed.  Jigen handed over a bottle of juice and a half- pill. "Thanks," he mouthed, taking them both.  The pain pill would help more than anything else. Lupin would only get pissed at Goemon if he knew how much he ached.  It was another dumb, yet necessary moment in his life.  He closed his eyes, hoping to rest off the pain.

Lupin waited until he heard the snoring, then looked at Jigen.  "Half a one?" he asked.  Jigen nodded, giving him a look.  "He's got it out of his system now."

"He'd better.  He damn near broke Xander's fingers out there," Jigen reminded him.  Lupin winced.  "Maybe we should send her and the baby out of harm's way until the delivery?  Send Marcus to birddog her."

"She'll escape him and he'll get mad and yell at her, which will make her cry and make Goemon pissed," Lupin sighed.  "Just like last time."

"Hell, send Xander with her for a while," Jigen offered, sitting down again.  "Let them go on a shopping spree or something.  They'll need a bigger bed for Ishi soon."

"Their home nursery will need to be expanded," Lupin noted.  "It's really small right now.  It's so small I had to suck in a breath to get past the crib."

"It's a two bedroom house," Jigen reminded him. "I doubt he'll move."

"He might," Lupin said calmly, looking at him.  "If we point it out to him. Otherwise their living room will become the nursery.  Besides, that one's not defensible if something happens while they're there."  He stood up, walking out to talk with Goemon.  "Hey," he said, sitting beside him.  Goemon grunted at him.  "We were just talking about the new one."

"I heard.  The house is fine."

"It's not fine.  Where is this new one going to sleep?"  Goemon opened his eyes and looked at him.  "Think about it.  It was perfect for just you, or even you two, but for four of you?  That other room is really small, and with the new one you might want to think about getting something with some yard space."  Goemon nodded, closing his eyes again.  "You could tell Fujiko to go look," he suggested.  Goemon smirked.  "I know, transparent, but she'll want to nest in it and make it just right.  Women are like that.  Look at how often she's cleaned the bathroom here since we arrived two days ago."  Goemon laughed, shaking his head.  "Just something to think about.  If *I* had to suck in a breath to get into the nursery, then the thing is really tiny.  Besides, the baby Goemons will need space to roam.  A lawn to put a drunk me onto when I get annoying.  Or to put Jigen onto when he gets annoying."

Goemon chuckled.  "I will talk with her about it."  Lupin nodded and went back inside.  "I hate moving," he told himself.

"Let her handle that as well, Master," Marcus suggested.  "That way she can arrange things endlessly to suit her hormones until you can go back there and do it for yourself."

He reached over and patted him gently. "You truly do understand the nature of the woman," he praised.  He stood up and went inside.  It would quit making him worry if she was to of harm's way.  He paused to look at Xander's throat, wincing.  "Tell him I am sorry for that."

"He took something for it," Lupin promised, giving him a look.  "Suggest a nice five bedroom," he suggested.  Goemon looked at him.  "The seer told Xander you'd have another one sometime," he said with a grin.

Goemon shuddered.  "No.  No more after this."  He headed up the stairs to wake his wife up.  She gave him a sleepy glare.  "Something was pointed out to me," he said as he laid beside her.  He put a hand on her stomach, feeling the baby move.  "Lupin cannot fit into our nursery and breathe."  She snorted.  "We have both said that the nursery is too small," he reminded her.  She nodded, putting her head on his chest and closing her eyes again.  He stroked her back.  "I was just approached about the possibility of getting something bigger, more defensible.  With a lawn so the children could experience the joys of playing outside."

"Sounds suburban," she said sleepily.

"I was thinking near my home village," he admitted.  "Perhaps more than little lawn?"

"I'm not raising animals.  Especially not chickens."

"I understand," he agreed, patting her on the head.  "I do not want a farm.  A place to train would be nice however."  She lifted her head, looking at him.  He gave a little nod to the crib in the corner.  "A place to train him and her."  She nodded slowly.  "I would feel better if you went to look at it instead of Jigen and Lupin doing so," he said softly.

"Because I have taste?" she asked dryly.  He nodded.  "I heard Marcus' crack about moving furniture."

"He is correct, you will," he pointed out gently.  "Which will suit me until I can get there."  She rolled her eyes and put her head back down.  "It would also make me happy if you went to find it."

"You just want me off the job," she accused.

"I would like you safe, but a place to hide would be suit both of our goals," he offered.  She grunted in annoyance.  "Somewhere to run to after a job is done?  A place that is just ours and the children's?  Something to leave them if the unthinkable happens?"  He stroked her hair again, she was getting tense.  "I do not have much taste in architecture either.  I am more than happy with our present house, crowded conditions and all.  But I fear for our daughter's modesty if she has to share a room with her brother.  Or her temper, one of the two."  Fujiko chuckled into his chest.  "We could have grass and trees."

"Fine, I'll go scout houses," she agreed.  She sat up, looking at him.  "I'll even take the baby with me."  He gave her a gentle smile and a light kiss.  "Thanks.  Who were you sparring with so I know who to take with me?"

"I did bruise Xander," he admitted sheepishly.  "He let me wear out my frustration on him."

"Is he still living?"

"Barely. I caught him very hard across the throat," he admitted.  She gave him a kiss this time, keeping him calm.  "If you want and Lupin agrees, you can drag him with you.  He would know construction.  You would know what I want.  It would please me to have you work together, plus he could help you move the heavier pieces once you find movers to get us into the new place."

She sighed.  "Fine.  I'll take Xander and go house shopping.  Near Iga?"  He nodded.  "Deal.  No farms?"

"I have no desire to farm either," he promised.  "We would not be there all that often."  She nodded and curled up on top of him again, letting the baby kick at him.  "Thank you, Fujiko."

"Welcome," she said sleepily.  "After I finish my nap."

"Of course.  I will even tell them to save you a cheeseburger."

"Cheeseburger," she said, getting up to grab one.  She snatched the one Lupin was eating, walking away with it.  "Thanks."  She paused to look at Xander, wincing.  "Ow."  She shook her head, heading back to bed to cuddle some more.  He gave her a patient smile and a long backrub.  He was a good husband.

***

Xander woke up on the plane and looked at the woman next to him, who was holding out a can of soda and a pill.  "What's that?" he asked, sitting up.

"Something for the pain you're in," she said quietly.  He nodded, taking them.  "It's a lighter dose than the other one."  She gave him a squeeze on the wrist.  "You're helping me look for a new house."  He gave her a look.  "Inner jacket pocket," she said patiently.

"Ishi?"

"On your other side, thankfully sleeping again," she said patiently.  She saw him check the baby then pull out the letter to read.  He snorted and tore it up, stuffing it into the empty can.  "Warning you to take good care of me?"

"Warning me to call them if you went into early labor," he retorted.  "Your husband doesn't want me to deliver this one."  He gave her a grin.  Then he gave the stewardess a look.  "Can I have another?" he asked, waving the can.  She nodded and handed one over, taking the empty one.  "Thanks."  He gave her a smile and she smiled back, heading off to check on the others.  "It also told me that I was not to bully the movers too much, that was your job."

She laughed.  "I'll remember that."  She gave his wrist another squeeze as the baby kicked, wincing some.  He patted her and she calmed down.  "How do you guys do that?"

"She's going to be mine to spoil," he told her.  "Ishi likes the other guys better, especially Marcus and Lupin, but this one will be just like me, only gentle, kind, and innocent."  He looked at her.  "So therefore she'll come to me for spoiling more often.  The last one you'll have in about four or five years will be just like his father."  She gaped at him and he shrugged.  "I checked with the seer."

She shook her head.  "There are mystics in Japan.  I'd rather have her go that route."

"Cool with me.  Maybe she'll teach me something," he said with a grin.  She gave him another pat and removed his hand, putting it back into his lap.  "Sorry."

"It's all right," she promised.  "How are we going to hire movers without exposing us?"

"Easy.  We ask the local Don if he's got someone," he said patiently.

"He hates me."

"He doesn't know me," he reminded her.  "And he likes Goemon."  She smiled at him.  "See?  Easy.  Maybe we'll get some of the kids he doesn't want hanging around and show them the evils of physical labor."

She laughed, giving him a hug.  "You're very special, Xander, never let anyone tell you differently."  He beamed and nodded, sipping his soda.

***

Lupin looked over as the Don sat down across from him in the park, waving his sandwich.  "Want one?  We're eating more normally now that the pregnant person is back in Japan."

The Don shuddered.  "No, thank you though."  He leaned on his elbows.  "Lupin, that boy has me worried."

"Why?"  He took a bite of his sandwich.  "He's a really nice guy until you piss him off."

"Did I?"

"No.  He expected you to do something like what you tried to do."  He smirked and ate another bite.  "He doesn't like playing at politics or grandstanding.  The acting business is not him.  He said he was as polite as he's ever been and I have to agree.  That was a happy Lavelle."

"Don't you mean Xander?"

"Not while he's working."

"Oh."  He glanced around.  "You have control of him?"  Lupin nodded, chewing hard.  "Are you sure?"  Lupin nodded again.  "How can you be so sure?"

"Because Xander feels comfortable enough to tell me when he's having bad nightmares about his time in captivity," he said quietly.  The man looked stunned.  "Stole Pop's file?"  He finished off his sandwich and opened his milk, drinking it quickly.  The bread had been pretty dry, even with the mayonnaise, and Fujiko had set some bad eating habits recently.

The Don sighed.  "I tried.  We couldn't.  We did get to look and photograph some of it.  I don't understand it and I don't like what I don't understand."

Lupin nodded.  "I've noticed that about you," he agreed. "Dolune would have loved him, Charlie.  He's a cocky kid at times and at others just a little kid.  He plays with legos still."  The Don shook his head.  "He's one of my favorite people.  You try him through me."

"I realize that now."  He gave him a long look.  "My father-in-law never said you were gay.  Neither did the person before me."

"I'm not picky," Lupin told him.  "I like people for who they are, nothing else."  Charlie nodded, he knew that about him.  "The same qualities that used to draw me to Fujiko are in the boy, only muted.  That's not why I like him though.  He's a great guy.  If you let yourself like him, you will.  Xander's not leaving and I doubt you could kill him.  Even if you tried you'd lose a lot of people."  Charlie nodded, looking at the table.  "Like the boy said, he's mine.  Totally mine.  If you have something extra, then he's your guy if I say so."

"You act like you've got him collared."

Lupin cackled.  "Don't tempt me.  I've thought about it but Goemon would frown at me for it."  He smirked at him.  "Trust me, it's not what you think, Charlie.  Now, what did you need to know?"

"Is he going to try for me?"

"He might, if he considers you a threat.  He's not here now though."  Charlie raised an eyebrow.  "Fujiko had to go for a few weeks.  He's guarding the most precious things to all of us."

"Goemon lets him, even though he's a scarred soul?"

"He does.  He trusts the boy to be honest about what he can do.  At least skills wise."  He popped his gun wrist, it had been aching all day.  "What did you see that you didn't understand?"

"There was shit in there like that Ethan guy."  Lupin nodded.  "It works?"

"It does," he agreed gently.  "The world is a lot bigger than most people think.  I've scratched the sides of it before but having Xander means that the things on the other side of the barrier are protected against now.  Besides, you've got to love the little anime loving loon.  He's likeable.  Even Pops and his guys like him."  Charlie stared at him.  "Seriously."  Charlie nodded behind him so he looked that way as some woman was running their way. "I don't know her," he admitted.  The guy chasing her had a knife.  He stood up and grabbed the girl, putting her behind him.  He got the guy with the knife down and disarmed, then tossed the knife away before sitting down again. The woman looked at him.  "What?" he asked her.  She hurried off, going in a different direction.  "Know her?"

"She's one of my guys' little sisters.  That was her boyfriend," Charlie admitted. "I'll have to tell him about this."  He shrugged and looked at his rival again.  "My father-in-law wanted you."

"I didn't want the job and he knew it. I'm happy with my own family life."

"Fine.  If that stuff works, why didn't that thing that Ethan gave my aunt work?"

"I guess it depends on what it was," Lupin told him.  "Who knows.  He's been fucking helpful with us."

"Yeah, speaking of all of you, when are you going to introduce me to that silver-haired woman?"

Lupin smirked at him and stood up.  "I'm not.  Jigen would get mad and shoot you, then I'd have to deal with the American."  He tossed away his trash and strolled off, enjoying the park.  Right at this moment, Marcus was emptying the guy's safes for them.  It was a nice hit and would remind Charlie not to fuck with them.  Xander was not the most dangerous or the most devious, Xander was the most obvious.  He was the most devious and dangerous.  Lupin smirked to himself, enjoying the hell out of this caper to date.  They'd be leaving tonight for Stockholm for him to interview potential mothers.

***

Xander looked at the house Fujiko liked.  "I know I'm not up on traditional homes," he said, "but this isn't very sturdy."  She gave him a look.  "I like the roominess, but it's pretty flimsy.  What happens if you guys have an earthquake?"  She slumped a little so he patted her on the back.  "I saw another one that I liked better and it's farther out of town."  He walked her back to the motorcycle he had rented, taking her up to look at the other house.  Not much there, but it had a nice view.  It was on solid rock.  It was anchored into the rock with steel.  It had *real* walls in most of the rooms.  With real studs in them instead of wallboarding over nothing.  It was what he thought a traditional house should be.  Plus, it had some small caves on the property for the kids to play in.  He got off, waving at the realtor, letting her walk up onto the porch.  "If he wanted, there could be a small workout area on this side of the house," he explained. "Or in the backyard nearer to the stream."

She gave him a look before letting the realtor walk her through it.  She had to admit, it was a nice house and it did have a beautiful view.  It was more than roomy enough, but it was so distant to the town.  She knew Goemon would probably like that but she wanted it to be a little closer to civilization.  "How far is it to the nearest market?" she asked the realtor.

"It depends on which one," she admitted.  "Iga is below us, but there is one on the other side of the peak."  She pointed at the mountain behind them.  "The road is a little steeper but there is a nice hospital over there.  That village is a little bigger.  There is a comparable house like this over there, it overlooks the same sights, but has more ground with it."  Fujiko nodded.  "Would you like to look at that one?"

"I would," she admitted.  "We have one son in addition to this one," she said, patting her stomach.  "I don't want him to fall off but my husband would like something like this.  He grew up in Iga."

The realtor winked.  "I know of your husband, Mrs. Ishikawa.  We went to primary school together.  You are right, he probably would, but I think he would like the other house better."  Fujiko looked at her.  "We do know of his exploits.  We know he won't bring anything onto our heads."

Fujiko nodded, following her out.  She let Xander drive the bike, holding on as they went over the steeper path.  The top was a little scary but still a real road.  The other house was higher up but the town was a real town. It had an open-air market and everything.  She looked at the house they stopped at, smiling at the lines.  It was nearly exactly like the other one, but a little bigger.  It had more grass.  It had a few large trees.  "I like this one," she told Xander.

Xander looked at the realtor.  "Are there still caves here?"

"There's one," she admitted, giving him a smile.  "It's very small, the perfect size for a child to play in."  She led them around.  "This one is also anchored with steel into the stone.  It's fairly newly constructed, only fifty years old, but it does meet up with earthquake standards.  The last bad one we had only managed to shake some pictures loose."  Fujiko looked impressed.  "The floor is all new hardwood.  It was replaced recently."  She led them through the house, smiling when they stared out one set of windows.  Apparently that was going to be the nursery by the way she was rubbing her stomach.  Fujiko looked back at her.  "Yes?"

"I'll need to take pictures," she said.

Xander nudged her and pulled off his tie clip, handing it over.  "Here, send it to Lupin's phone.  I got a good few of the view too."

She gave him a hug and dialed her phone, plugging the tie clip into it.  She sent the file to Lupin's phone, smirking when he sounded happy too.  Xander listened in, giving her a grin and a hug, leading her back to the bike.  "I can tell you by tomorrow," she told the realtor.

The woman nodded.  "Of course.  Whenever you know, call me and we'll do the paperwork.  You should be able to move within a few weeks."  Fujiko smiled and nearly danced back out to the motorcycle.  She smiled and waved at them, already relishing the commission she would get.  No one wanted to live so far away from humanity these days.   She had despaired of ever selling either of these houses.  Plus, the town would get a guardian in case something happened when he was around.

***

Lupin smiled as he looked at the pictures of the house Xander had obviously liked a lot.  He walked outside, setting it to replay.  "She found it," he said, stopping Goemon during his kata.  He handed over the phone, watching as his face lit up.  "It's near Iga I think."

"It's the next valley over," he said, laughing at the cave that Xander had pointed out liberally.  "It is very nice."  He stopped the video.  "How long?"

"We were going to Stockholm after this," Lupin admitted.  "We can have him make a better, longer video."

"Please.  I would like to see it before she decorates it.  It looks wonderful."  He handed the phone back.  "Thank you.  It was a good idea."

"Hey, I try," Lupin said smugly, heading inside to show Jigen the new house.  He got a kick out of the cave too.  Xander was such a little kid some days.

***

Fujiko picked up her son, holding him tightly to her chest.  "Thank you for babysitting," she told the local overlord's nanny.  "We have found the place we could both like."  The woman smiled at her and bowed, leaving them alone.  She looked at the local Don, giving him a shrug.  "It was Lavelle's idea," she admitted.

"I did not mind.  It is good to see you happy about something other than my possessions."  He nodded his chin at the baby.  "That one looks familiar.  I heard you had married."

"He is his father's son," she said firmly.

He laughed.  "I had no doubt.  He frowned at me earlier for kissing my wife."  She laughed and sat down.  "I have not met this Lavelle yet.  This is the second time he has been in my territory and I have not met him yet."

"He's out leaning against the car," she admitted.  "I can call him in.  I will warn you he's a tad bit...insolent.  He's not very polite."

"He's not Japanese," he told her.  She shook her head.  "I see.  What is he?"

"The only decent American I've ever seen," she told him honestly.  "He's very good at what he does, and some things he doesn't ever tell us about."  That got a small laugh.  "Like many Americans, he has no self-esteem about his gifts.  He is good though.  Even my husband admits it."  Ishi started to fuss so she patted him on the back.  "He prefers his father," she said dryly.

"His father is a very calm man.  I'm sure he is used to that."  Someone knocked and walked in, whispering in his ear.  "I know of him.  He is escorting Fujiko around while she looks at houses."  He waved in her direction.  "Ask him to come in and have tea with us."  The guard nodded and headed out to tell the strange man to come in.  Lavelle joined them and he gasped. "You!"

"Me," Xander said, closing the door behind him.  He bowed.  "Good evening."  He sat down, taking Ishi to calm him down again.  He looked at the local Don, giving him a small shrug.  "I see you've heard from Istanbul?"

"I did," he agreed.  He calmed himself.  "It is said you were still living."  Xander nodded, giving him a smug look.  "Do you appreciate your position?"

"All of them.  I got called on to deliver a judgement already."  Fujiko looked confused so he patted her on the knee.  "He's the brother of the local Ethan person here," he shared.  "He came with Ethan a few years back and we met then."

"That woman?" he asked, looking at the boy.  Xander grinned at him.  "I see.  An interesting thing.  The Deermere choker?"  Xander nodded.   "Good.  I'm glad it's in good hands."

"Thank you.  I hope we won't have a problem with each other?"

"Not in the least.  Why would we?"

Xander put a hand on Fujiko's moving stomach.  "Her."

"The power I was feeling," he said knowledgeably.  He smirked at her.  "Welcome to my side, Fujiko."

"She will be my daughter," she said firmly.  "Her father wanted her trained from a similar school of thought."  She swatted Xander's hand.  "Stop that."  He gave her a hurt look.  "Did you know about this?"

"I knew he knew enough to have his doorway warded against the truly demonic," he admitted.  "He's had a shrine built into the house somewhere."  She looked stunned.  "Marcus would be able to tell too."  He looked at him, tipping his head to the side.  "So, can you help us move stuff too?"

The local Don laughed, nodding.  "I can.  I have some lower thieves who need some education in manners.  This will do as their punishment.  Of course, you may hurt them if they do not perform."

Fujiko smiled.  "Thank you.  Can you tell us where to get her trained?"

"I can do one better.  My own wife is of a school your husband would approve of.  Let me get her."  He rang the bell beside his seat, bringing the nanny back.  "Get my wife."  She nodded, leaving them and coming back with an older looking woman.  "This is Fujiko Ishikawa.  Goemon's wife."

"I have been told that the child would be born over here," she said, bowing to Fujiko.  "The child would be a delight to guard."  She came over and looked at her.  "May I?"  Fujiko nodded so she touched her stomach gently.  "She will not be of my school, but our mirror one."  She backed up and bowed.  "Your husband would approve.  It is ancient magic, but nature."

Xander looked thoughtful.  "The Japanese version of Wicca or of the Druidic ways?"

"You know of those?"  He nodded.  She looked at him and raised an eyebrow.  "Janus?"

"He likes me," he said with a grin.  She laughed, shaking her head.  "Alexander Harris, known as Lavelle," he said, holding out his hand.  She shook it, sensing him.  "Her guard temporarily."

"A good one.  Very fierce protection is around your aura.  I will send a trainer to you," she assured Fujiko.  "That way your husband and you may look her over before the birth.  That way she can help protect what will be theirs."

"Thank you," Fujiko agreed.  "I had no idea what the protocols were for this sort of thing."

"Let him guide you.  He is brash but his power is clear to those who know their myths."  She bowed to them again.  "Shall I get tea?  And water for the young man and the infant?"

"Please," Xander agreed, grinning at her.  "It's the one thing I can't really appreciate about Japanese culture."

The Don looked at him, smirking.  "We have heard about the anime adventures."  Xander blushed and he laughed.  "Good.  I am glad that it is suitable and keeping your boss out of my hair."  His wife left them alone to get tea for them.  "May I?"  Xander glanced at Fujiko then handed the baby over.  "You're of a good size," he said, looking in the baby's wide eyes.  "Very solid."  The baby batted at him and spit.  He smiled at him.  "Yes, you are definitely your father's son.  He has always wanted to spit at me."  He handed him back.  "If you need us to watch him while you move, call first and we can probably accommodate you."

"Thank you," Fujiko agreed.  "I am sorry about the whole vase incident."

"Bah.  You are a thief, it is what you do.  I would have been surprised if one of you hadn't gone after it."  He smiled.  "You are too pretty to hate for long.  Especially when you carry a child that makes my wife smile at me.  Perhaps I can use your condition to encourage her to have another."

"Have her checked first medically," Xander said wisely.  The man looked at him.  "Seriously."

"I will have her examined tonight, consort.  I thank you."

Xander grinned.  "All part of the service."  He blew a raspberry on Ishi's stomach.  "If you're a good boy, Uncle Xander might even build you a treehouse," he promised.  "He can do that you know."  Ishi squealed in outrage at the treatment his stomach had received. Xander laughed and gave him a hug.  "You're a good boy, Ishi."  The baby grabbed onto his hair for that indignity and refused to let it go.  "Fuji, please teach him about the shiny gold stuff soon," he groaned.

She reached down, unwinding the tiny fingers from the long hair.  "I'm trying, Xander.  He seems to like silver more though."  The wife came in with the tea and Ishi let it go to stare at her some more. "Thank you, son."  She took him back, sitting him in her lap.  He watched this strange woman make tea, something he liked to watch his father do. She was rather fun to watch.

***

Lupin looked at the women who had volunteered through the lawyer, then at his lawyer.  "All them?"

"All them," he agreed.  He handed over files.  "It is important that you pick someone compatible with your goals.  Otherwise the child may not be as much like you as you think."  He nodded.  "You can meet with them one at a time.  They all know who you are and they have been screened for employment."  Lupin nodded again, looking at the first folder, taking her back into the office area.  Goemon and Jigen were waiting to help him.  They would have to like her too, they'd get to visit the baby too.

Even though this was scaring the hell out of him, it was kinda neat.  In an odd and Xanderish way.

***

Xander cleared his throat and the young punk lifting the precious vase walked more carefully.  He was getting a kick out of this.  It was kinda fun to scare a whole group of kids into going straight.  The local Don had said he could if he wanted to.  None of these boys had his favor and very little in skills.  The ones carrying in the couch were told where to go by Fujiko, who was lounging on the porch off the living room with the baby. "When are we going shopping for the new stuff?" he called.

"Tomorrow.  Once I've got everything settled."  Ishi squealed and tried to stand up again.  "Good boy," she praised.  "Keep doing that and soon you can join us on the run."

He bounced in place, earning a lot of smiles from his human slaves.  His mother had to get up and leave him there to yell at one of the smelly people and that was not acceptable to him.  The sun was very bright.  He got to his knees, looking around the room.  His other human slave was farther away, he could tell it was him, he smelled nicer than the moving things.  He grunted in annoyance but the slave didn't hear him.  He sighed in irritation and decided he would just have to get him himself.  He would have to teach him obedience.  He slowly shifted forward, coming to the edge of the soft thing he was on.  It was a small drop to the floor and he rolled off.  He let out a disgusted snort and got back to his knees, crawling over to his slave to chastise him for letting him fall.  He saw the shiny thing and the amused look.  One of the smelly ones got near him so he babbled and ordered him to move.

"Fuji," Xander called.  "Come here," he said, capturing it on the video feature on his phone.  "Come on, Ishi, come see the uncle."  He held out his hands.  "If you do, I'll give you such lovies.  I'll even make sure you can have a pet."  Ishi gave him a disgusted look and finished his trek.  He pulled himself up on the pantsleg, giving the human a glare.  "Good boy," he praised, picking him up.  Then the silver thing was clicked and some noise happened. He leaned closer to it, squealing when he heard a familiar voice.  Where was his father? He needed to be here to make the smelly people leave his house!

Fujiko came out of the back.  "What?" she asked patiently.  "He was fine out there."  Xander let her see the video as it replayed on both ends.  She gasped and took her son, holding him tightly.  "You precious and adorable little guy," she praised.  "You're mobile!"

Xander put the phone up to the baby's ear, letting him babble at his father.  "Apparently we weren't there and he was feeling ignored."  She laughed and they listened as the baby babbled at the person on the other end.

***

Goemon smiled at his son.  "Very good son," he said.  "Yes, that was.  Put your mother on."  He smirked at Lupin.  "How do I save this down over here?"  He did as she said, getting the nice message.  "Thank you.  How is it going?"  He laughed.  "Good.  I'll be out tonight."  He hung up and handed the phone over to Lupin, but looked at Jigen.  "My son just got disgusted with the humans invading his house and crawled for the first time."

Lupin shifted over so Jigen could see the footage Xander had captured.  "He does look pissed," Jigen agreed.

The woman with them sighed in happiness.  "He's an adorable baby," she told him.  "How old?"

"Five months," he said proudly.

"Wow.  Very smart.  Is your wife taking care of him?"  He nodded.  "That's a great thing.  Congratulations.  My first one did it at seven months but she died a few months later in a car wreck.  Cherish these moments," she told him.

He nodded.  "I do.  I am sorry for your loss."  She gave him a brave smile.  "What method do you prefer for correction of bad behaviors?" he asked.

"I prefer an escalating scale depending on the type of infarction and how bad it's gotten.  The first swear would get a few minutes in a chair, all the way up to a light spanking for swearing at my mother in Church like my ex's son did."  The men laughed.  "More than most of the people in the other room, I do understand the life you live, gentlemen.  As I put in my file, I did some minor stealing in my youth and then I went straight after being caught.  I can show a child either side in both a positive and a negative light."

"I would expect my son to follow me into the family business," Lupin told her.  "What were you doing when you were caught?"

"Identity theft."

"Really?" Jigen asked.  "Is that hard?"

She shook her head.  "Not really.  It's really easy if you're a hacker, like me."

"That is a skill we like," Lupin admitted.  He looked at the others and they nodded.  "We'll be moving you into the possible category."  She smiled and stood up, shaking their hands.  "If not the mother, and we find an instability, would you feel like being a nanny?" he asked.

"If it went that way, I wouldn't mind in the least, but I will not ever drive another child anywhere unless it's an emergency again."  He nodded.  "Thank you for understanding."

"I've seen worse incidents," Jigen told her.  She nodded and left them alone. "I like her.  She was honest."

"One of the best prospects we've seen yet," Lupin agreed.  He looked at Goemon, who waved his hand a little. "Not your favorite?"

"My favorite was the blonde from earlier," he admitted.  "She was sweet but she had that steel underneath that meant she could control a future genius."

"Good point," Jigen agreed.

"You're being very helpful," Lupin said dryly, giving him a look.

"Think about you as a little boy," Goemon told him.  Lupin shuddered.  "Now you see my point?"

"I do," Lupin agreed. "I still like her."

"I would make her my second choice," Goemon admitted.  "Aren't there more?"

"Three more," Jigen assured him.  The other men sighed.  This was hard!  He pushed the button on the phone.  "Amanda Payeral."  He let it go, looking in the folder.  He handed it over with a quick head shake.

Lupin leaned back, looking comfortable as the woman came in.  He didn't like her either.  "What do you do for a living?" he asked.  She sat down and looked at him, giving him the most witless look to date with a smile.  "Ma'am?"

"I'm a nurse," she said finally.  "A neonatal nurse.  I've always wanted a child of my own.  I would take very good care of them.  I have all the others in my care."

Goemon looked at her.  "We have other children that will be around.  How would you handle their interaction?"

She swallowed. "Very carefully.  The other children would surely hurt mine.  A child is a precious thing and should be protected at all costs.  Even from the bad scenes in life."

Lupin smiled at her. "We'll be in touch with our choices next week," he told her.  She nodded, walking out.  He put that one into the trash can, shaking his head.  "Protect them from everything?"

"Think small, asthmatic, and scared of life," Jigen said with a shudder.

"I went to school with a kid like that, but he became a wannabe," Lupin admitted.  He picked up the next one.  He liked the looks of this one and she was pretty.  The other folder wasn't so pretty but she had a higher IQ and a better field for a job.  "We have a doctor and an accountant," he announced, handing them over.  Both men nodded, switching to look at the other one.  "Give me a name."

"Melissa Brighton.  British," Goemon told him, handing over his folder.   It was his turn to pick.

Lupin called her in and she came in, sitting daintily in the chair.  "So, tell me something about yourself," he requested.

She gave them a nervous lick of her lips.  "I'm an accountant.  I'm unmarried.  I have two cats.  I'm an avid reader, especially of mysteries.  I wanted to be a cop in my youth but I knew I couldn't pass the tests.  I'm very realistic about myself."

"How do you feel about us?" Jigen asked.  "What we do?"

She licked her lips again.  "To be frank, I don't like it.  I know you three go after some of the worst of the worst, I've done some reading up on you you see, but I cannot condone the life of crime."  She looked at her hands. "I know that the child may end up going that way but I cannot be the one to encourage it.  Being realistic, I would have to warn it about the consequences."

"Do you push your boundaries?" Goemon asked gently.

She gave him a smile.  "If I didn't, I would be a librarian," she told him with a wry look.  "I like my books, but I like numbers more.  Even though others have not thought I should, I did push myself toward a field I felt I was suited for.  I am not the most physical of person, I know that will disclude me, but my family is very fit.  My father runs marathons and he's in his sixties.  My brother ran track in his youth until he was injured on a cross- country run.  Now he coaches.   My mother died a few years back and my sister is a bitch to be frank about it, but my male family members would definitely help me if I needed it.  My father is a bobby as well, an inspector in our small town, and he is against this but he told me he'd accept the child no matter what."  She lifted her chin a little.  "I may not be the most physically fit, or the most intelligent, but I am one of the best mothering sorts.  My cats are horribly spoiled and pampered.  I'm the sort of pet owner that spends big dosh on the special food and special toys.  I own my own home and it's a nice sort of place, if a little dark at the moment.  I'm getting a few new windows put in as soon as I get back.  I would also not misuse the child's trust fund.  I know all the pertinent laws about trusts and the like.  I could give you detailed spending reports so you could make sure that I have been using it wisely and not spending it on shoes."  She let out a geeky laugh and Lupin smiled at her.  "If you would like to talk further, we can do so," she offered.  "I'm not really the social sort most of the time."

"I'd like that," he agreed, putting her file into the short stack.  "We'll be reinterviewing the possibles within a month.  Should we look you up?"

"Please.  I only get so much leave and I have to store it up in case it is me," she admitted, blushing a little.  "My boss has no idea I'm here.  If I do end up being the one, I plan on telling him that I'm carrying out a friend's most fond desire to carry on her line even though she was ill.  That it's her child and that I'm going to be the mother of it."  She looked at him.  "Would that be fine with you?"

"It would," he agreed, giving her a gentle smile.  "Thank you."  She nodded, shaking their hands then leaving.  "I liked her," he admitted.

"She was very sweet," Goemon agreed.  "Very honest as well."

Jigen nodded.  "Very honest."  Lupin looked at him.  "I'd put her third right now.  I didn't like the blonde as much as he did."  Lupin nodded, accepting that and looked at Goemon.

"I'd rank her third as well," he admitted.  "The blonde, the last one, then her."

Lupin nodded.  "Okay.  Let's interview the last one."  He pushed the button and the woman strolled in like the world owed her something.  He gave her an interested look.  "You're a doctor of what?" he asked.

She sat down.  "I am a pediatric surgeon.  One of the top in my field."

"Doesn't that take a lot of time?" Jigen asked.

She nodded.  "Not always, but sometimes.  I share a practice with another woman.  I'm only on call every other night and every other weekend."  They all nodded.  "The person who would be watching him would be my twin sister.  She's back in the hotel right now in case you wanted to meet with her as well.  She's more your sort, she's a government agent and not exactly wholly legal in my opinion.  She's done a lot of undercover work."

"Wow," Jigen said, staring at her.  "Won't she mind?"

"Not any longer.  She's vowed to quit if I become the one.  I make more than enough to support us both while she finds something gentler to do."

"What would you do if this turns out to be female?" Lupin asked her.

"I would raise a strong female that I would be proud to call mine, and hopefully you would like to call yours.  What would you do?"

He considered it.  "I wouldn't mind.  I would prefer a boy but I know that even sperm selection isn't foolproof.  Do you think that a pregnancy would be a problem in your field?"

"I don't.  As I said, I'm not as busy as I used to be.  I used to be one of those doctors who pulled an eighty hour week plus my office hours."  They winced. "I've had to slow down some since I developed a heart condition.  I assure you it won't harm me at all to carry."

Goemon looked at her.  "I have a fear that a female child would be turned into some form of modern day Amazon and a male child would be viewed as weaker."

"A strong woman doesn't necessarily mean a man-hater," she said patiently.  "I do love men, but I haven't had the time to find one and tie him down," she said with a small smile.  "Until I can find one to kidnap and fix, I would prefer doing this."

"What happens if you do get married?" Lupin asked.

She shrugged.  "He would have to know and agree, otherwise I wouldn't be with him."  She flipped her hair back, giving them a confident look.  "Most of the young women you've interviewed have probably already been weeded out.  I'm willing to do many things for this child that they aren't.  I'm willing to cut my hours back further.  My partner and I have been thinking about adding a new partner to the practice.  We've also thought about moving to a teaching hospital to take advantage of the students.  My condo is very new and already very practical for a child thanks to my younger brother in his youth.  He had a small drug problem, that is why my twin went into law enforcement, to help him and others like him.  When he died it destroyed her badly.  She's since healed and has thought about doing something similar in her own life.  She wants to take up knitting and raise sheep for their wool at the moment.  She would have no problem being there for a child I would have.  Nor would she have much problem with you as she's said before that you helped her boss once before."  They nodded.  "I also can answer many questions about sibling aggression. It would make more sense to have more than one in case something happened.  Also, you'll probably be torn about who you want. I have no problem being one of two or three."  That got another nod and appreciative look.  "I can answer any question you still have."

"Do you think that punishment is appropriate in young children?" Goemon asked.

She smiled.  "How old is yours?"

"Five months, he just crawled for the first time a few minutes ago."

"Right on target in my book," she told him.  "Most of the baby books underestimate the development of children.  To answer your question, I think gentle reminding and positive reinforcement or negative reinforcement is more important than punishment in the formative years."

"They're not the same?" Jigen asked.

She shook her head.  "Not in the least.  Positive reinforcement means you give a reward for good behavior.  Negative reinforcement means that you take away something bad for good behavior.  Something like a chore free night.  Punishment means that you punish the bad behavior.  The strongest I feel is appropriate is deprivation of a treat for things like tantrums.  Taking them from the store and leaving the area.  Taking them out of the movie.  Things of that nature."  They looked really interested in that.  "My minor was psychology in my undergrad," she told them.  "I think I would be an excellent mother.  Even if I wasn't, then my genes are clean and you could try to take the child to raise for yourself. I won't say I won't fight you but I would be open to changing the bad behaviors.  I of all people admit that I have some few quirks.  I'm very punctual.  I like the same breakfast each day.  I'm almost ritualistic when I start my day in the office."

Jigen nodded.  "Some people are like that.  Do you consider those faults?"

She laughed a little.  "No, I consider them *quirks*.  Faults are things that need changed.  Quirks are things that make you an interesting human."

Lupin smirked at her.  "I like you.  We will be wanting to talk to you again, and probably your sister as well."  She nodded, standing up and shaking their hands.  "Thank you.  Give us a week."

"That's fine.  My contact information is in there."  She nodded again.  "Watch out for him and wooden floors," she advised.  "Babies seem to pick up every splinter in the known world.  I remove them all the time from new crawlers."

"I will ask someone to make sure they are smooth.  Thank you," Goemon told her.  She left them alone.  "I like her best."

Jigen nodded.  "Practical, realistic, human, smart, funny, and pretty."

Lupin smirked.  "Good.  Now all we have to do is the background check and talk to her sister.  Should we implement her plan?"

"It would make sense," Goemon agreed.  "I still like the blonde."

"I still like the accountant," Jigen told him.  "I really didn't like the blonde.  I got a Xena flashback from when Xander handcuffed me and made me watch a marathon on tv with him."

Goemon looked at him. "Xena?"

"TV show," Lupin told him.  He shook his head.  "I've only seen one or two episodes.  Those were funny.  I kind of liked Joxer and Ares."

"Then you'd really love the guy who played Strife and the funny ones are very different than her usual 'girl power' message.  He's got the DVDs in his room."

"I'll ask him to see them," Lupin agreed.  He leaned back.  "Why is no one saying anything about the redhead?"

"She seems to be very nice, but I would put her as my second," Goemon offered.

"Me too," Jigen agreed.  "I don't like something about her, but she's still a good candidate.  There's something hidden."

"Still.  That leaves us five candidates," Goemon pointed out.  "A very small field."

Lupin grinned.  "I like the way you think.  Okay, should we go visit Ishi?"  They nodded and stood up, following him out with the five folders clutched in his hands.  He looked at the lawyer, handing him his check.  "I've got the ones I want."  He nodded, giving them a smile.  "Thank you for your help."  He left, going out to the car.  "Should we let Fuji, Marcus, and Xander look them over?"

"No," Jigen said, shaking his head.  "Fujiko will roast them all."

Goemon shook his head.  "Xander will obviously go for the accountant.  They are a lot alike.  That underlying steel with the touch of innocence."

"Yeah, and the love of cats," Jigen agreed.   He put the files into the briefcase.  "Where did we send Marcus?"

"Off to research paternity law," Lupin said dryly.  "He's adoring the big, stuffy library at Oxford."  He started the car, pulling into traffic.

He didn't see the cop standing in the shadows beside the building, smirking and taking notes.  Ray was being very sneaky; this new job was really fun.

***

Xander looked up as the others came in, holding up a hand.  "Stop.  The stain's wet."

"Why are you staining the floors?" Jigen asked.

"Because Fujiko wanted something lighter and I had to sand it for splinters last night."  He went back to his staining.  "Walk on the pale parts only."  They walked around the path he had left himself, heading back to the sitting area.  "How'd it go?"

"Five good candidates," Jigen admitted.  He watched as Xander finished up his area and backed down the path.  "Will that match?" he asked when he saw the line from the drying stain.

"It will," Xander promised.  "And if not, Fuji said she's putting a rug right here."  He stood up, tossing his sponge at one lighter spot, blotching it.  "There."  He took off his coveralls as he walked back to join them, wearing a pair of tight jeans shorts and a t-shirt.  "I took out the splinter for him," he promised when he found the father staring at the bandage.  "He's fine.  She did that."  He patted him on the back.  "Fuji, the floor should be dry in about ten minutes," he called.

"Good."  She came out of the bedroom area, her hair up, paint splotching her face.  "I could use some help," she admitted.  "I'm too short and the ladder tips."

Lupin took off his jacket and tie, taking the paintbrush from her.  "I can do that."  He went in to help, Jigen going to help shift some things for her.

Goemon sat down with his son, teasing him.  His son let out an outraged scream.  "Hush," he ordered gently.  His son blinked at him.  "Yes, it is me," he agreed.  "If you are good, I will get down and play with you later."

"Only if the living room's dry, otherwise you're crawling around the side of the house to get us food," Fujiko said, flopping down beside him.  "The head over Tokyo's syndicate knows about the magic stuff," she said quietly.  He looked at her. "His wife does it.  She's asking someone to come talk to us."  He nodded, looking calm everywhere but in his eyes.  "She said it would be something you could appreciate.  Xander compared it to the Japanese version of Druidic rites.  Nature magic."

"I will find time to talk to her," he agreed, giving her a kiss on the cheek.  "Did the young men moving make a pass at you?"  She shook her head.  "Then they were fools.  You are beautiful even when sweaty and paint covered."  She grinned and bent to play with the baby.  "When will he be napping?"

She smiled at him.  "In about an hour."  She led him into the nursery, making him smile at the view.  "We liked this one a lot.  Xander and I stood here for nearly ten minutes staring out at it.  The sun comes up just over the pass."

"It is a gorgeous view," he agreed, moving out onto the small porch.  Someone had already added more slats to the railing so no one could fall through it.  He tested it, it was very solid.  "Xander does good work."

"He does," she agreed, putting an arm through his so she could lean against his arm.  "I liked the color in the living room too.  What do you think?"

"Pecan isn't natural to the area but it does make it glow," he agreed.  "There are a few odd places, but it looks like it could be naturally that way."  He pulled her around to hold her.  "Do you like it?"

"I do.  It's kind of grown on me," she admitted.  "Plus, there's a *real* store in the village."  He laughed.  "There's a small airport so we can exit and enter quickly and quietly.  That means I won't be stranded here when our files suddenly show up."

"They have found them but they can't unlock them," he told her, giving her a squeeze.  "We interviewed many candidates.  We liked five."

"Only five?"

"Out of sixty," he shared.

"Hmm.  Good enough I guess.  Any I'd like?  Since I'll have to deal with her when the babies play together."

"I have my favorites.  One is very shy.  One is a doctor, very fierce.  One is a strong and smart blonde.  One is a former thief herself, she did identity theft until she was captured.  One we're not sure about.  She was hiding something and we do not know what."  She nodded, looking up at him.  "They think you will toss them away out of hand."

"No I won't," she snorted, going in to talk to Lupin about getting some female opinions going.  "Hey."  She stepped around the paint cans.  "How do you do that without getting it all over you?"

"I'm going more slowly than you did," he told her.  "What's going on?"

"I want to meet them," she said.  He looked down at her.  "I do.  Murami and I should.  You need some female insight and we will have to deal with them too."

He nodded.  "Good point.   I was going to get the boys to meet them too.  They should know us all."

She smiled and hugged his leg.  "Thank you.  It was a good suggestion."  She walked out, going to check on the floor.  "Xander, it's nearly dry," she called.

"Not yet," he called.  "Give it another ten."

"Fine." she stepped carefully around the wet parts, heading for the kitchen for a drink.  Someone knocked on the door so she looked outside, opening it.  "What?" she demanded.

Zenigata frowned at her.  "How did you do it?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Lock those files up under my mother's name," he demanded, stepping inside.  "Then everything but your profiles were taken, and those were changed to be more like my notes."  She shrugged.  "Lupin!" he snapped.

"Painting," he called.

Goemon came out to look at him.  "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you did that to the ICPO's computers," he said bitterly.  "They're blaming Mark."

Xander coughed.  "It's not Mark.  And he can prove it by the signature file that was included in the update."  Zenigata looked at him.  "Really. Willow said all hackers use some sort of signature. Trace it."  He shrugged, walking around the wet spots.  "Wet floor.  Watch out."  He went out to the porch to work on a spot that still felt weak to him.  It creaked and he didn't like that.

Zenigata opened his phone and called his boss.  "They said they didn't do it," he announced.  "And neither did Mark.  One of them said something about hackers and signature files."  He smiled.  "Really?"  He laughed and hung up.  "Wolfman?"

"Is not a friend of mine," Xander called. He pried up the board and measured it, going to cut a replacement from the new wood outside.  This could be used in the new treehouse he was going to build.

Zenigata looked over as Lupin came out.  "Is it one of yours?"

"Who?"

"A hacker called Wolfman."

"No."  He frowned.  "Jigen, do we know any hackers?"

"A few.  Who?"

"Wolfman?"

"He's in Cairo's syndicate.  Hi, Pops."  He came out, looking at the floor.  "Still wet?"

"It is.  Xander has disappeared to replace a board," Goemon told him. He shrugged.  "I do not know."  He helped his wife back across the wet portions, carrying her off to their new bedroom.  She had already decorated it.  He smiled at her.  "I do like this view," he admitted, standing her in front of the window.  She laughed, shaking her head.  "What?"

"It's the only working bed.  Xander said I had to warn you he's slept on top of the sheets beside me most of the time."  He raised an eyebrow.  "He is cuddly but nothing like that happened."

"I knew it would not.  He would not touch what was mine," he said simply.  "He may not understand honor but he acts with it most of the time."  He pulled her closer, kissing her deeply.  "Strip, woman, you need a bath."

"The hot water heater's off," she told him.  "Xander's waiting on a replacement pipe.  You weren't supposed to be in before tomorrow."

Xander came in the front door and tested the floor, frowning.  "Still a little tacky."  He moved around the oldest part, only transferring a little bit of the varnish onto his feet. He went out to test the floor.  "A little small," he said, frowning at it.  He shrugged and centered it, making sure it was right. A filler piece was tossed up to him. "Thanks," he called down.  He nodded Zenigata out with him.  "What else did they do?"

"They rearranged the files and took out the wants and warrants system," he said bitterly.  "We're nearly incapacitated."

"That should come back later," Xander told him calmly, nailing the boards into place.  He stood up and stepped on it, no more squeak.  "Test that, you're heavier."  He stepped on it and it still didn't squeak.  "Good enough.  She put her table here anyway."  He popped open the small can of white paint, squatting down to paint those piece of wood.  "Personally, I know something about him.  He's not a he."  Zenigata groaned.  "He's a woman but she's in an Arabic country."  The inspector stared at him.  "Glaring at me won't help and Myron might know of her too.  She was at Paris Con.  I met her there."  He looked up.  "I never asked and I don't know her that well."

"But this isn't the first time someone's done something to gain attention of someone more famous," he noted dryly.  "Who is she?"

"The sister of my stalker.  I found that out when I did a background check on her."  He chuckled.  "And it's not mine."  He stood up, recapping the paint and handing it over.  "If you're staying, you're helping."  He raised an eyebrow.  "Hey, I'm going to build a treehouse.  You'll be doing it soon for Dawn's boys I'm sure.  Try that big ash tree.  It should be sturdy enough."  He grabbed the pole he had put in and slid down it, walking across the lawn.  "Hey, Myron," he said with a small grin.  "I'm down to my treehouse until we get the pipe shipment.  Wanna help?"

Myron shrugged.  "Sure, why not."  He rolled up his sleeves and went to help him.  "You're reading the tape funny," he noted.

"I've got a glass eye, Myron.  I can't see out of that side."  He marked the spot, then measured it in the other direction.  He added another inch of extra in case his eyesight had screwed up again.  He seemed to be cutting an inch too short but he could compensate for it. He plugged in the circular saw and turned it on, cutting on the line, or really just his side of it.  Still farther up than the original mark so it'd be fine.  He used that board to cut the others so they'd match. A stacked floor on top of plywood would be best since the tree had such small branches.  As the kids grew, it would be fine.  Soon he had enough for the platform and he set out to build it, making Myron help him.  "So, how's my enemy doing?"

"He's seething.  He's more obsessed than anyone's ever seen.  What did you do to him?"

"I winged him, I knocked him out a few hours later, then I saved his life about an hour later," he said quietly.  "I think he's pissed about the last.  I blew his preconceived notions."

"What are you doing?" Jigen called.

"Waiting on the pipes," Xander called back.  "We're building a treehouse."  Jigen shook his head and walked back inside.  "She can't yell at me if he messes up the floor," he said happily.  "It should be dry."  Myron laughed.  "It should be," he admitted.  "I used quick dry varnish because the little guy is so hard to catch sometimes."  He shrugged.  "He's fast."

Myron nodded.  "It's his mother's nature."

Xander laughed.  "Don't ever say that to her.  She'll slap you."  He nailed in the next board over the sheet of plywood he had chosen for the bottom support.  As soon as that was done, he used the longer pieces to build stud walls for the small shack.  It would be a great treehouse.

"Xander?"

"Hmm."

"Did you ever have one of these?"

"Fuck no.  My father couldn't hang a picture straight."

"Oh.  Sorry."

"Not your fault."  He pounded his thumb and sucked on it, then went back to work.  He took a deep breath.  "I'm intentionally forgetting my past," he told him.  "As far as I'm concerned, I have no past before Jigen anymore."

"That's fine.  I mean the boss has the file on you and all that, but still I guess it's necessary sometimes."  He caught his wrist, looking at the scar on it.  "How did you get that?"

"Um...."  He looked at it then shrugged.  "I don't remember anymore."

Lupin came down to help, grabbing the hammer.  "Fujiko said you're keeping her up."

"I'll be done in a few minutes," he promised.  He took the hammer back. "Her husband can always get her to nap."  He smirked at Lupin.  "Boss, this is Myron, he works for Gramps."

"Hi."  He waved.  "You were Vash."  He nodded.  "Wonderful."  He stroked through Xander's shorter hair. "You cut it."

"No, Ishi burned it," he corrected.  "I had to get the burnt ends trimmed."

"How did the baby burn you?"

"He poured caustic drain cleaner on it.  Chemical burn.  Like I said, he's real fast."  He went back to his walls.  They were soon finished and he attached them to the floor.  Fujiko opened the window.  "Give me an hour," he called without looking.

"Fine.  When are the pipes coming?"

"Maybe an hour," he admitted.  "You can call.  I'll come hang the doors in the kitchen in a minute."

"Thank you."  She closed the window.

"We'll let someone else raise this into the tree and hitch it to the branches."  He looked at Lupin, who laughed.  "Make Jigen help you," he suggested.  He went back to paneling the walls with the leftover wallboard, then put on a small roof and tar paper.  He stepped back, looking at his handiwork, wiping his forehead with his sore wrist.  "Okay, that's done."

Lupin steered Xander toward the house.  "Come on," he soothed.  "Jigen didn't get to see your hair."

"I'm sure he'll be pissed," he sighed.  Lupin gave his head a nudge.  "Sorry.  Fine, he'll be mildly peeved."  He walked in and was hugged by Goemon.  "What's that for?"

"For putting up with my son, the race car," he said, letting him go.  He looked at his hair.  "It's shorter."

"Your son," Xander told him.  "Drain cleaner. I got chemical burns."  He shrugged and popped his neck.  "Okay, the treehouse needs to be lifted and lashed to the tree. I put ribbons where it should go."  Goemon gave him a delighted look. "It's pretty basic," he warned, heading into the kitchen to deal with the doors Fujiko had wanted hung.  They weren't that hard, it was just tricky getting them into the tracks.  He finally got them in, jamming his thumb again.  He was sucking on it when the pipes got there so he got to hide underneath the house to deal with those too.  That's where he was when someone found him two hours later.  "What?" he called when he saw the flashlight shining in his direction.  "I need the small blowtorch.  Can you light it for me?"  It was lit and handed over.  "Thanks."  He soldered the pipes into place, checking the other joints.  He soldered a loose one then turned off the blow torch.  "Okay, turn on the hot water heater and try it," he yelled.  He heard someone moving above him and someone tapped on the floor over his head.  "Turn on the hot water heater and try it," he called again.

"Okay," came the muffled reply.

Xander waited, wiggling his sore hands.  "Hold it," he yelled.  "I need someone to hand me a lighter!"  One was tossed to him.  "Thanks."  He relit the blowtorch, working on a joint that he hadn't touched. It had been leaking.  He turned it off and tucked the lighter into his pocket.  "Try it again," he called.  Someone turned on a tap and the pipes flowed well.  He wiggled out, bringing the torch with him.  He checked the nozzle, just in case it had been loosened during the wiggling, which it had, then put it into the box again, marking it as used for forty-five minutes.  So they'd know how much longer it had on fuel.  Then he headed into the house.  "Anything else?" he asked the dancing Fujiko.

"No," she said, hugging him.  "Oooh, you deserve a nice treat.  What do you want?"

"My wrists need some attention," he admitted.  He groaned as he stretched his neck again.  "I need a shower.  I must stink."  She laughed, nodding.  "Then I'll do that.  I don't mind cold for now.  At least it'll get out the cobwebs.  Which room is mine again?"

"The blue one," she told him, giving him a pat on the back.  "The floor only got messed up in about six places and mostly where I was going to put stuff anyway."

"You can claim it was natural wood vagaries," he promised.  "Except for the footprint."

"I've got a rug to go there," she said, giving him a pat on the back so he would go shower.  He really did smell.  "Thanks for the porch too."

"Welcome.  There's a small piece but it shouldn't be noticed."

"I didn't," she promised as he walked away, even though she had.  Again, something that was going to be covered up and the thing wasn't squeaking anymore.  She smiled as she heard someone yell for Xander.  "He's showering!" she yelled back.

Lupin came in from outside, waving his sore hand.  "That treehouse is really solid, we need more people."  She gave him a look.  "We can't even lift it with a pulley."  Xander came out of his room without a shirt on, coming out to help him with a pat to his arm.  "Thanks."

"Sure.  I wanted it to be sturdy.  I still can't hitch it to the tree."

"We can do that, we can't lift it," Jigen told him.  He gave him a look.  "Where were you?"

"Under the house fixing the pipes last."  He rocked it, letting someone get the edge nearest him.  "Roll something in to help brace," he ordered.  A board was put under the corners.  Lupin got the other side.  Then they each took a side and hefted, getting it onto the branches.  He maneuvered it into the spot he wanted it, noted by the ribbons.  Then he let it go.  It creaked a little, but it would do.

"Push it back toward the trunk," Goemon ordered.

"There's a knot in the way," Xander told him.

"Will it harm it?"  Xander considered it.  "Tilt it?"  Xander nodded.  "Then it should be fine."  They moved it back to where wanted it.  The floor was a little tilted so they used the spare boards to brace it level.  Xander checked it with a marble he had in his pocket.  It still rolled but not that fast.  "It will be fine," he assured them. He got underneath to tie it to the tree.

"Shouldn't we be screwing it in or something?" Jigen asked.

"We don't have any drywall screws and it'll be a few years before the kids will use it," Xander promised, leaning against the trunk of the tree.  "By then, the woods will have grown into each other."  He shook his wrists. "I'm for a shower. Unless we need more help?"

"No, thank you, Xander," Goemon told him, watching his back go.  "What else did he do today?" he asked once the boy was inside.

"He was staining the floor," Lupin offered.

"He hung the new doors into the kitchen."

"He said something about a board on the porch," Lupin added.  "Plus he was just under the house fixing the pipes.  You should have hot water soon.  I painted.  Jigen?"

"Worked on putting in the faucet in the bathroom," he admitted. "He used to be a carpenter."

"At least he's got the skills," Lupin agreed.  "By the way he was shaking his wrists I doubt he's going to be up to doing anything else with them soon."  Jigen gave him a look.  "He was shaking them earlier too."

Goemon came down from his hitching duties.  "That should hold it for now.  I'll add more ropes over the next few days."  He looked at his house. "It is very big."

"It suits your family," Lupin assured him.  Goemon looked at him. "It does."

"Probably," he agreed.  "At least no one should be sleeping on the floor tonight."  He shrugged.  "Let us find out if the hot water is working yet."  He walked back up to the house, looking under it.  "There seems to be some water gushing.  Xander?"  His wife came out.  "We seem to have a leak back toward the bathroom."  She nodded heading to get Xander.  He came out in just the jeans shorts - which were unbuttoned just enough to prove he was only wearing the shorts.  "I checked to see how well you had done.  There's another leak."

Xander swung over the railing and jumped down, looking down in there.  "That is back by the nursery.  Let's hope we don't have to replace the whole pipe."  He crawled under there, looking at the pipe.  "It's the toilet line.  Give me a wrench and the blowtorch."  He patted himself down.  "I left the lighter in the bathroom."  Goemon crawled underneath there with him.  "It's nothing much," he offered, taking the pipe wrench to tighten the non- soldered joint.  "Someone turn on this tap," he called.  It was turned on and he got a face full of water.  "At least it's clean."  He tightened that joint again.  "Bad news.  Turn it off!" he yelled.  Someone did.  "I can't get that one tighter.  We'll need to replace it.  Fortunately it's almost a different line.  Someone else flush!" he called.  He heard the others go off in sequence, then the other taps come on.  He found one other leak and shifted over to light it once he had the lighter, warming it to finish sealing it.  He blew out the torch then turned it off, handing it off.  "Okay, try this one again," he said, tapping it.  It turned on and didn't leak.  He groaned as he got himself unstuck from the smaller spot.  "You might want to build a fence around this area so you don't get wild creatures nesting under here," he noted as they crawled back out.  "Fujiko, we'll need to replace that line," he called.  "We'll need some new 3 inch pipe, about three feet, including two elbows and a new trap.  I'm not sure why they put that on there."  He looked at him.  "I'm going to shower now."

"Please," Goemon said with a smile. "Thank you."  Xander nodded, heading to do that. He sat down on his couch, looking around his new space.  It was pleasantly painted and decorated.  Sparsely, like he liked.  He looked over as she came out of the kitchen, where she had been calling someone.  He pulled her next to him.  "Do we need to do much else?"

"Washer and dryer," she said.  "They're coming tomorrow.  Xander said we might need to wire a breaker for it but nothing worse than that and plugging the things in."  He relaxed against her.  "You rest," she soothed, patting him gently as he nodded and fell asleep.  "This is what he used to do," she reminded herself.  "I'm not taking advantage of him."  Jigen came out and looked at her. "I'm not," she repeated.

"Probably not," he agreed.  "How can he stand to take a cold shower?"

"Easy, I'm sure he's had worse."  He shrugged and sat down, staring out the window.  "You should see it at sunset," she offered.  He gave a small nod.  "Where's Ishi?"

"Sleeping.  I just put him back down."  He looked at her.  "He okay?"

"Just tired," she assured him.

"Good."  Lupin came out to join them and he nearly sighed in relief at not having to act polite anymore.  "Should we show her the files now?"

"She demanded that she get to talk to them," Lupin agreed.  He found his briefcase and handed them over, watching as she read them.  "Most of us generally like the doctor, the blonde, and the librarian."

She looked at each one, reading the profiles carefully.  She put one aside, not liking that one at all.  The next three were okay she guessed but the accountant stood out.  "Her," she said, handing it to him.  Jigen looked at her.  "The accountant.  She's got a nurturing nature.  I don't like the former thief.  They're not only crafty but I don't like how she's suddenly found herself and turned herself around.  You can't guarantee she won't taunt the baby about you guys.  The doctor looks really nice, but that's a hard profession.  Who's going to watch it?"

"Her twin sister, who's coming off a long stint of undercover work and is now an agent of some sort," Jigen told her.  "We were going to talk to her too."

"Her sister is supposed to want to slow down now.  She said something about raising sheep for wool so she could knit full-time."  Fujiko looked interested. "What about the others?"

"The blonde seems a little fake to me.  Yeah, she's big, strong, tough, and physical.  Why?"  Lupin looked at her. "Women aren't naturally like Xena."

"You're the second one who's mentioned her," Lupin said with a small smile.

"It's true," Jigen agreed. "That's why I didn't like her."

"The last one? I'm sensing something off.  It's too clean, too pat.  She's *never* done anything bad?  Then why is she offering to do this for *you*?"  Lupin nodded.  "She's probably a groupie and we know they can go psychotic at times."  Jigen nodded.  "Did Xander ever hear back?"

"I heard him saying something about it earlier to Zenigata while they talking about the hacker," Lupin admitted.  "I don't know more than that."  He scratched his chin, looking back toward the bedrooms.  "This place is very soundproofed."

"He's got the door closed," Jigen said.

"Still.  You can't even hear the shower."  He kept the two folders out.  "Interestingly enough, the doctor suggested we pick more than one and that she wouldn't mind.  She expected it."

Fujiko nodded. "It's something a woman would think about.  You're doing this for a specific reason.  Why have to do it twice?"  He grimaced.  "I'm not sure she thinks you'll be around."

"But I will be," Lupin pointed out.  "I want him to play with Ishi and this new one.  I want to see him and play with him and do all that good stuff at least once a month."

"Did you make that clear?" she asked.  He nodded.  "Then I'd think she's probably been burnt before.  Or someone she knew was.  She doesn't expect you to be there.  I would make her my second choice.  Accountant, her, then the other three tied for last place."  He nodded.  "When can we talk with all five of them face-to-face?"

"I said we'd be talking with them in about a week," he admitted.  "Probably traveling to where they were.  The accountant only has limited leave.  She's already thought up a cover of a sick friend she's doing this for as a condition of her will so the line is carried on.  She says she loves mysteries.  She almost became a librarian."

"Which means she'll be softer and push the kid gently.  The fact that the woman crochets baby hats and booties for premature infants at London hospitals notes that."  They looked at her. "It was tucked into her file."  She looked at him. "Really. I would go with her first unless I get a really bad feeling during our interview."  She heard a thump and winced.  "Xander?" she called.  No answer.  "Okay, someone who can stand up go check on him and Ishi."  Jigen and Lupin got up to do that, each one taking one.  She patted her stomach.  "You, quit moving around, okay?  I want to nap today too."

Jigen checked on Xander, finding him asleep in the cold tub of water.  He sighed and went to check on the baby.  He found Lupin looking at the turned over crib with the baby.  "How did that happen?"

"He did it.  He was probably rocking it."  He shrugged and handed over the baby.  "He was giving it the most disgusted look."  He set it upright and made sure the wheels weren't going to move, they walked the baby out.  "He knocked over his crib.  He was giving it the most disgusted look, like it had affronted him."

She laughed as she took her son, looking at him.  "Quit trying to escape, son.  If you call, we come and get you."  He sniffed and stuck his thumb into his mouth.  "Maybe we should have named you Emperor."

"He'll have to calm down sometime," Lupin promised, straightening out his hair.  "Where was Xander?"

"Working on a case of hypothermia."  Lupin groaned.  "The water was filthy so I was going to leave him for a few more minutes, then let the water out on him.  By then maybe the hot water will be running smoothly."

"Did we relight the hot water heater?" Fujiko asked. Lupin went to check on that, coming back nodding.  "Thanks, guys, this means a lot to us."

"I know.  We'll make you help us someday," he promised with a grin.  He went to let the water out on Xander, pulling him up to make him shower this time.  There should be some warm water at least.  He stripped himself one-handed and climbed in behind him, turning on the water with a foot.  He winced at the chill of the water, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  He got the boy semi-cleaned and then out, dried off, and put into a pair of pajama bottoms.  Then he carried him out to the sitting area, putting him into a chair.  "He's better now," he reported.

Jigen chuckled, shaking his head.  "You're not."

"I'm going to fix myself now."  He went back to his room to clean himself up, putting on a set of pajamas of his own.  He came out, looking at the sleeping boy who was tilted to the side.  Then he shrugged and heaved him up, sitting underneath him.  "There, we're better now."  Fujiko laughed and pointed at her son was slapping the glass doors while babbling at the sunset.  "That is something that we need to take a picture of."

Jigen found a camera on a shelf and checked it.  "We've got a little bit of film," he admitted.  He took a picture of the baby, making him give him an outraged look.  He took a picture of that as well.  "Ha," he said, smirking at him.  The baby crawled over to him, pulling himself up on his pantsleg. "What?  You want held?"  The baby scolded him, sitting down in the middle of his tirade.  "Yeah, yeah, wait until you're older.  Your old man's gonna wear that lip outta you," he warned.  The baby spit at him and went back to scolding the night for getting dark.  He didn't want it to get dark yet!  Jigen laughed as he sat down, handing over the camera.  "It's only got two left."  She set it down, watching her son.  "What is his problem?"

"He knows he goes to bed when it gets dark so he hates it," she told him.  Her son crawled back, coming over to try and climb up his father.  She bent over with a grunt and put him into his father's lap.  "Sit there," she told him.  He curled up against his father's stomach, giving her a look.  "Trust me, I gave birth to you, son."

Lupin laughed.  "I don't think he's quite believing you yet," he told her. "He'll learn better soon."

"Hopefully."  She gave him a look.  "You'd better learn a few manners before your sister comes.  Uncle Xander says he's going to spend a lot of time with her, that leaves you the other people around here."  She looked around.  "Where is Marcus?"

"Oxford," Lupin told her.  "Researching to his heart's content."

"I'm sure he's pleased," she said with a big smile.  "Who wants to call for take out?"

"How far do we have to drive?" Jigen asked.

"Down the mountain.  They're *really* nice though.  I called up and ordered what I was craving and they managed it.  Without giving me a funny look or anything," she swore.

"Shit, for that, they've got to be great," Jigen agreed.  "What do we want and what's their number?"

"The menu is on the wall by the phone in the kitchen," she told him.  He got up to get it, coming back with the short menu. "I really liked their vegetable Lo Mein."

Lupin looked at it, checking the hours.  "Um, Fujiko, they're closed," he noted.  Jigen sighed.  "Let me go cook something."  She gave him an adoring look.  "What would you like?"

"Lo Mein?" she suggested, nearly pleading.

"Sure.  Jigen?"

"Add some meat to my portion," he said, giving him a look.  He waited until they were mostly alone.  "Are you having this one here?"

"Fuck no," she said firmly.  "I want drugs and a professional this time.  I will not settle for anything less."   He smirked at her.  "Keep it up, I'm sure Ethan can show you personally somehow.  Maybe a nice pain transference spell?"  Xander mumbled something and her eyes went wide.  "No, Xander," she said firmly.  He shifted some, pouting.  "No.  No magic in the house."  He grumbled something and snored again.

Jigen looked at his wrists.  "I feel fine," he said, shrugging. "Just tired and limp."  He reached over and swatted his student, waking him up.  "Remove it," he ordered.  Xander gave him a clueless look.  "Whatever transference thing you just did, remove it."

"I did?" Xander asked with a yawn.  "Sorry."  He said something, touching his wrists.  Jigen gave him a relieved look.  "Sorry."  He closed his eyes and put his head back down.  "Night."

"You could sleep on a bed," Jigen told him.

"Paint fumes," Xander told him.

Lupin came out of the kitchen, his wrists limp.  He swatted at Xander and he took it off for him too.  "Thank you.  I'll work on those later."  He rolled his eyes, going back to the kitchen.  Now that he could feel his fingertips again.

Jigen shook his head.  "Another interesting Xander adventure?"

"Yup," Fujiko agreed, stroking Goemon's head.  He grunted and woke up, looking down at his son.  "He's being an emperor again."

"Son," he sighed.  "You are not royal."  His son frowned at him.  "I mean it, you are not royalty.  No matter how much your Uncle Lupin tells you that you are, you are not."  His son sucked his thumb harder.  "Quit giving your mother attitude before she makes your Uncle Jigen raise you." Jigen snorted, shaking his head.  The baby snuggled in deeper, making him pat him.  "Thank you, son.  Behave.  We'll play later."  His son cooed at him.  "Would you like to get down again?"  He put the baby down, watching as he crawled into the kitchen.  "Incoming," he called.

Jigen laughed. "He is a bit of a bombshell," he agreed.  He looked at Xander's hair, frowning.  It wasn't flowing over the chair's arm or sticking to his face like it should be.  "What happened to that?"

"Chemical burns," Fujiko sighed.  "Our son tipped the caustic drain cleaner over his neck and burned it off.  I had to treat the burns.  We have some creme in my bathroom for his neck."

"I'll get it later," Jigen promised.

"Your bathroom?" Goemon asked.  "We have separate bathrooms?"

"Yes.  You always complain about how long it takes me to do my hair.  You get your own bathroom."  He sighed and nodded.  "Xander also put up an outdoor shower attached to a cistern out where he thought you might like to work out."  He smiled slightly at that.  "He thought you'd need it.  Since it's my toilet that's not working, I'm borrowing yours."  She stood up with a grunt and headed that way, making the baby follow her.  "I promise I won't escape, son.  The bathroom does not have an extra escape hatch.  Though it might be a nice addition to put in some day."

Goemon laughed, shaking his head.  "I do not believe I ever did such things."

"Your mother was probably stricter," Jigen pointed out.  He looked at Xander's hair again.  He had liked that messy mass of silver.  At least it was fully silver again.  It was shiny and bouncy too.  The trim had done him good.  He looked outside, noticing the lights on the hills below them.  "Other houses?"

"I do not know."  He stood up, going out onto the porch to look.  He frowned.  "I have no idea what that is."

Fujiko came out, patting him on the back.  "It's a camp of some sort.  I'm not sure who they are.  None of the locals would say anything when I asked about it.  I have no idea if they're bad or good guys."   The baby headbutted her so she picked him up so he could see too.  She looked over as Goemon tensed, then jumped the railing.

"Goemon!" Jigen said in frustration.  He went to get his pistol then followed him.  "What are we doing?"

"I know of them," he admitted.  "I wish to see if I am right.  I will be fine."

"She'll kill me if you get hurt," he pointed out.  He walked behind him, used to his stealth walking.  He was making more noise but not by much.  They snuck up on the camp, watching as the people divided up food and bowls.  He frowned.  Were they gypsies?  He tried to stop Goemon but he walked out into the firelight anyway.  "Damn it," he hissed, taking up a good position to fire from, just in case.

Goemon cleared his throat and they gave him a fearful look.  "I live up the hill.  I wish to know what you are doing here."  One of the children gave him a fearful look so he squatted down next to him.  "I am not someone to be afraid of unless you do bad things," he promised.  The child gave him a nod and backed away from him.  An older man walked up to him and he bowed.  "As I said, I have just moved in."

"I've noticed things heading up there," the old man told him, holding out a hand.  Goemon shook it.  "We are modest farm hands."

"That's fine.  Do you need anything?"

"No, we're fine.  Thank you."  He smiled at him.  "We'll be moving in a few weeks."

Jigen came out of the woods, his gun up again.  "I didn't know there were migrant farm workers in Japan."

"Not many," he told him.  "There is a mushroom farm nearby and we work there a few months out of the year before moving for the rice harvests."  Jigen nodded, shaking his hand as well.  "Are you two...together?"

Goemon blushed and shook his head.  "He is a good friend.  My wife and child are up there."

"Good.  A happy family then.  Thank you for your kind offer."

"If you need anything and we are home, let us know," Goemon said, turning and walking off, making Jigen follow him again.  "I did not know that either, I thought they might be a training group of thieves I've heard about," he admitted quietly.  He walked back in the front door, meeting Lupin.  "We have migrant workers down the hill."

"Cool."  He handed over a plate.  "The baby tried to follow.  He got another splinter."  Goemon rolled his eyes, taking his plate to check on his wife and son.  He handed Jigen a plate.  "Xander's in bed, exhausted."

"It's been a while since he had to pull a full day on a construction site," Jigen said as he sat down to eat.  The traditional low table was passed over by them, they liked to eat at Western style ones with chairs.  The small family came out to join them, and the baby eagerly sat in his high chair.  He got a bowl of mush and stuck his fist into it, sucking it off.  "Cute," he told the mother.

"He won't let me shovel it into his mouth," she told him grimly.  "He's already an independent little creature."  She sat down with the plate her husband had brought her, letting him get another.  "Plates are beside the sink," she called.  He grunted.  "Where's Xander?"

"Napping," Lupin told her.  "There's enough for him to have some, and if not he knows how to make a sandwich."  She smiled, digging in.  The baby grabbed another mouthful, sucking on his fingers.  "When did he start doing that?  He used to enjoy having you feed him."

"I don't know.  All of a sudden, we get here and he hates being fed," she said with a small shrug.  "I've been thinking about asking Xander if he was possessed or something."

"It could be normal baby behavior," Goemon reminded her.  "If so, it should settle out soon."

She nodded.  "True."  She ate another bite, watching her son watch her.  "Look at him."  His father looked at him. "It's like he's staring through me."

"I have a picture of me with the same stare," Goemon promised.  "I was about two."  He shrugged.  "Eat, son."  He gave him that same look.  "Eat," he repeated.

"Eating makes you grow up big and strong, kid," Jigen told him.  He looked at him then licked some more mush off his fingers.  "Good."  He used his fork to feed him a noodle, making him happy.  "Better?"  The baby ate another bite so he let him have a noodle.  The baby gummed it happily, grinning at him.

"Now I see the problem.  He hates the cereal," Lupin said, handing over one of his own noodles.  "It's got to taste better than the nasty cereal."  The baby grinned at him, slurping his noodle too.  "Eat more cereal."  The baby banged his fist on his table.  "Now," he ordered.  The baby stared at him so Lupin went to get a spoon, bringing it back and picking up the cereal that had already been dropped.  "Eat, or no more treats."

The baby bent forward, eating that bite.  Jigen gave him a piece of cabbage. The baby cooed at that, gumming it hard before flinging it at his father.  Lupin fed him another bite of cereal, making him a happy baby, knowing he was going to get a reward.  This time the reward didn't come but his father smiled at him.  He guessed that was okay.  This time.  The next time he got another slimy and fun thing to gum.  This was a good game!  Mommy never played games like this.

"Guys, he'll never eat for me if you guys keep that up," Fujiko complained.

"He will too," Jigen told her, handing over the noodle.  "Give him the next one."  The baby squealed when she did so, making her smile.  "See?  He's just playing baby mind games."  He ate more of his own food, before the baby got all of it.

"Wonderful, a baby playing mind games.  What next?"

"Teething," Goemon sighed sadly.  She winced.  "Indeed. My mother used to remind me how I had teethed on our family's pig's ear."  He shook his head.  "She was still alive and apparently very tolerant of me."  He handed his son a piece of cabbage, getting another squeal in response.  "Eat, son."  His son stuck it in his mouth and choked.

"Not like that," Lupin said, retrieving it quickly.  He put it aside.  "Let's stick with the cereal and then you can have a really good treat at the end.  A bottle."  The baby ate the last few bites of cereal, pouting slightly.  But he did get his bottle and it made him happy, if really messy.  He handed him off, wiping off his hands afterwards.  "I didn't know kids got that messy."

"Routinely," she told him.  "Nearly every meal."  She ate a bite of dinner, and he spit out his bottle.  "No, you drink now.  I eat.  Get it right."  She ate another bite and he opened his mouth, holding it open.  "Are you a baby bird?"  She handed him a noddle, watching as he gummed it into a splotch of noddle on his hand, which he sucked off.  "Thanks."  She retrieved a piece that had went down her bra, handing that over as well. He gave it a funny look before gumming it too.  "Yeah, you do that," she told him, eating more.  It was her first real food today.  She winced as she was kicked.  "Quit," she told her stomach.  Her son looked at her, cooing.  "Not you, your sister."  She shifted him, letting his sister kick him. He gave her an outraged look, kicking back at the thing that had hit him.  She laughed.  "You tell her, son.  She can't do that us, huh?"  He kicked again, making a lot of high pitched noises.

Goemon cleaned his plate and held out his arms.  "May I?"  She handed him over, holding her stomach.  "Strong kicks?"  She nodded.  "Do you need some attention?"

"I could use a backrub later," she admitted.  "I'm good otherwise."  He gave her a look.  "Really."  She winced and hissed as the baby did it again.  "Yo, not you."  She pressed on her stomach, trying to eat another bite of food.  "Come on, I'm hungry," she complained when it continued to happen.  "Xander!" she called pitifully.  "She's doing it again!"  He stumbled out, sitting beside her chair to lean against her stomach.  One of his hands flopped onto her stomach, and she quit.  "Thank you."  She shoved the food into her mouth as fast as she could.  "This is getting ridiculous.  This is the second night in a row."

Goemon nodded.  "He did say he was going to make this one love him best," he said dryly.

"Try at all," she protested.  His quiet 'shh' made her frown at him.  "Do you really want to replace that piping tomorrow?"  He shook his head.  "Then don't!"  He woke up more and looked at her.  "You don't have to replace the pipes."

"You can't," he reminded her, putting his head back down.

"I could if I knew what I was doing," she protested.

"No blowtorches around the baby.  Gives off smoke, smoke bad for them."  He stroked big circles, his wrists were too tired and limp to do anything else.  She moaned and he stopped.  "Sorry."

"No, it felt nice," she told him, giving him a pat on the head.  "As soon as humanly possible, I'm going back on the fucking pill," she told her husband.  "There will be no third baby."  He nodded, giving her an understanding look.  "Otherwise I will make good on that promise of yours to get a vasectomy in the middle of the night with your sword."  He nodded, still giving her that understanding look.  "Xander, can't you make her kick him?"

"No!" Jigen said.  "With our luck, he'd make me feel it."  Lupin nodded, chewing hard.  "He can do it for the labor.  When we're far away."

She gave him a look.  Then gave her husband one.  "I am delivering in a hospital this time, with pain killers and qualified people being there.  I don't care if Marcus has to ward the whole fucking town, we're having her in a real hospital.  And I don't mean the village one either.  They don't believe in pain killers down there or about having helpers."

"You could always go to the States," Jigen offered.  "They've got lots of options over there."

"Or Britain," Lupin agreed now that he had swallowed.  She looked thoughtful.  "Even Paris, but it'd be a pain to get back here from there unless you came to stay at the house for the first month again."

"I don't care as long as I'm not stuck here."

He nodded.  "That would be fine."

"Are we doing all this work so we can walk away again?" Jigen asked.

"Not for long," Goemon assured him.  "The children will be back shortly. As usual, I shall drift back and forth."  He shrugged.  "It is necessary for their well-being."

"Plus, it would give you more time to work in the field with Marcus," Fujiko pointed out. "He could use it."

"He could," Lupin agreed.  "He did great during his last one."  He heard Xander grunt.  "Something you wanted to add?"

"He's nervous, shy, and very introverted around new people."  He lifted his head tiredly.  "I used to think that Goemon was like a big statue in certain settings; Marcus is a blushing and stammering one."

"He's just coming into himself, Xander, give him some time to gain some confidence," Jigen offered.  "You stammered too for a bit."  Xander nodded, remembering that.  He looked at his boss, knowing how Xander had gotten past that.  He had created Lavelle.  "Maybe Marcus needs something like a dominant personality to use on the job.  That's how Xander got past that."

"I'll talk to him again," Lupin assured them.  "He'll be fine.  He's still young and needs experience, that's all."  Xander nodded, putting his head back down.  Fujiko let out a relieved sigh and relaxed as well.  "This could cause a problem," he said firmly.  Fujiko looked at him.  "We will need Xander back sometime," he pointed out in a gentler tone.  She gave him a look.  "Maybe even soon," he added patiently.  He nodded at her stomach. She looked down, then groaned, shaking her head.

"We could stay in France until the baby is a month old," Goemon suggested.  Jigen looked at him.  "Then we have agreed that Fujiko will take some time off and we will switch back and forth as you need us."

"Great," Lupin agreed quickly. "I don't want the kids in danger any more than you do."  Plus it meant he wouldn't have to redecorate his house. Much.  "I support however you guys work it out as long as you're happy with it."  Fujiko gave him another look.  "Really.  I'm happy if you are.  If you're not, then you let me know and I'll help you guys mediate a new arrangement as the kids get older."  She sighed and nodded.  "You're already a good mother, Fuji, and I want you to be happy."

"Nearly as good as she was at fucking us over," Jigen added for some reason. Then he coughed.

"Was that a compliment?" she teased.  He gave her a look so she leaned over, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you, Jigen. I'll blame the mushiness on Xander."  He nodded quickly, smirking at her.

"Whaddididonow?" Xander mumbled.

"Jigen has been infected by your mushiness," she said, stroking through his shorter hair.  "He gave me a compliment."

"Mushiness isn't a sexually transmitted disease," he said, lifting his head again.  Ishi squeaked at him.  "Morning to you too," he agreed, nodding at him.  "I'm going to go back to bed.  Wake me when the new pipes get here."  He stumbled that way, flopping face first onto the bed and falling asleep that way.

Goemon looked like he was going to say something but he refrained for now.  He looked at his son, who grinned at him.  "Is it not your bedtime?"

"And past," Fujiko agreed.  She stood up with a grunt, holding her stomach as her eyes slowly drifted shut.  "Ow."  She took a deep breath and let the pain go.  "Give," she ordered.

"I can do so.  I do not get to spend much time with him," he said, giving her a small smile.  "Go to bed, Fujiko.  I will be in to tend to your back in a moment."  She nodded, padding that way.  He looked at his friends.  "Take no offense," he said softly.  "I do not want you to do things to Xander while here, at least not now."

"Not a problem," Lupin agreed quickly.  "I understand totally.  Things that you tolerate in my house aren't the same in yours.  We can hold off our carnal desires until we're headed to interview again."

Goemon gave them a grateful look.  "Thank you for understanding."  He stood up.  "I do not want him to know about such things yet and he does like all three of you."

Lupin chuckled. "I promise, even if I let him curl up with me, I won't do anything,"

"I have no problem with you three sleeping in the same bed, it is the activity that may come from it," he said gently.  Lupin and Jigen both nodded.  "Thank you."  He walked his son back to his nursery, making sure the crib could not tip this time.  He struggled to get the railing back up but it did click on one side so that should be good enough.  He went to his bedroom, intending to do some pampering of his wife, but found her asleep.  So he laid down behind her, stroking her stomach to commune with his offspring. "Good evening, daughter, I am your father."

Jigen waited until the bedroom door was closed.  "I didn't know he had a problem with us and sex."

"He doesn't, he has a problem with his son crawling in to watch," Lupin told him.  "It wouldn't matter if Xander was female at the moment or not."

"That's something we'll have to watch around the kids," Jigen noted.  Lupin gave him a look, then nodded.  "Can you imagine his first day of school?" he smirked.

Lupin raised his voice to a higher falsetto.  "My name is Goemon Ishikawa the fourteenth.  My father is a samurai with a neat sword that can cut anything.  My mother used to be an internationally wanted jewel thief.   My uncles are really neat too.  I've got one that trains with my father to make his warrior spirit stronger and my other two used to work with my mother sometimes.  One's an infamous thief and the other's a shooter.  Plus I have this aunt who's sometimes an uncle who's really odd sometimes, but he spoils me very well and he can shoot anything!" he finished with a wicked grin.  Jigen was laughing and shaking his head.  "You don't think so?"

"I do," he agreed. "And Pops will have one ICPO officer's kids in the same school to keep track of him.  His father will of course praise him and pat him on the head then report it all back to his boss."

"Maybe we should encourage Fujiko to home school?" Lupin chuckled. "Math problems in carats and cubic feet of a ventilation system?"

"Nature lessons with Xander?" Jigen one-upped.

"Be very, very quiet, we are hunting plant demons," Lupin giggled in his best Elmer Fudd.  "With his father," he decided, smirking at him.  "Watch the flower grow, son, it will teach you the meaning of life," he said in a dead-on impersonation of Goemon.

Jigen chuckled and shook his head.  "Marcus doing formal English lessons.  Xander will have to go behind his back to loosen the poor kid up again."

Lupin's laughing got louder.  "Now repeat after me.  The only Holy object in the universe is tea," he said, impersonating Marcus' accent, he couldn't quite get the voice right. "All civilized peoples drink tea.  That is what is wrong with your Uncle Xander."

Jigen swatted at him.  "Nah, we'll get Marcus to do sex ed."

"How did Dawn put it?" Lupin said, thinking back.  "She said Goemon was one of those who was so sheltered he learned sex ed on the farm from the animals and she hoped for the sake of his first lover that it wasn't from the chickens."  Jigen burst out in loud guffaws, shaking his head. "I'm pretty sure Pops blushed beet red.  Nearly as bad as when he saw her in her favorite catsuit that one time."

"I still say that is a demented relationship," Jigen told him.  Goemon came out to look at them. He gave him an innocent grin.  "We were talking about the educational opportunities we could give the kids."

"I heard.  They will be schooled in the traditional methods until their affiliations and tendencies are known, then we may or may not add in special classes in other things. Then they shall go to school overseas when they are teenagers to learn about the world."  He blushed.  "And I learned that from watching the unskilled and untrained youth around me on trips to the village, not from the chickens and goats.  No matter what Dawn may believe, I did have playmates of a human nature."  He went back to his bedroom.

The two men broke out laughing, leaning on each other.

***

Xander came out from under the house the next morning, hearing the raised voices.  It was irking him and making him lose his concentration.  He walked around to the front of the house, nodding at the woman screaming about Goemon not being a fit parent.  "Prove it," he said, breaking into her tirade.

"He is an internationally wanted thief!" she shrieked.

"Then present us with warrants," Xander told her calmly.  "Present proof that would stand up in court about his fitness."  He crossed his arms, looking down at her.  That was a nice thing about being in Japan, he was one of the tallest guys around at six-two.  She gaped at him.  "Otherwise all you are doing is blowing smoke and vitriol around and I, for one, do not need this today."

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"His general contractor," he said blandly.

Her eyes narrowed.  "A hired hand?"

"Also his student.  It is the role of the student to help the master when they need it.  That's why I'm also a part-time nanny."  She glared at him.  "You can ask around if you want.  I'm sure we can provide you with the names of many people who would say he is an excellent parent, as is the mother."

"He's an international thief," she said angrily.

"Then walk inside and prove it by finding something he's stolen," Xander said, waving a hand at the house.  "Go right ahead."  She glared at him.  "If not, then you are bothering a very tired pregnant woman and you are bothering their son."

"I know the others are thieves, what are they doing here?" she demanded.  "Such friends are not wholesome for children."

"Do your friends not come for important moments in your children's lives?" he asked firmly.  "Such as to celebrate them crawling."  He glanced toward the house.  "Or walking.  Someone capture that with their phone or something."  Jigen and Lupin both turned to catch him.  "What's wrong, Ishi, crawling not fast enough for you?" he called as the baby toddled out onto the porch.

Goemon went to pick up his son.  "Already?  Do we not have any chance to rest between milestones?" he teased, tickling him.  His son squealed and patted him on the nose.  "Thank you, son.  Come talk to the nice lady out here."  He walked him over.  "As you can see, he is a happy and content baby.  There is no need of you coming up here to bother us."

She started to open her mouth but Xander held up a finger as Marcus showed up.  Marcus got out of his rental car and jogged over, hugging Goemon.  "Good trip?"

"Thank God I'm back," he sighed happily.  He touched Ishi on the head.  "Good morning, Master Ishi.  Are you happy this morning?"  He held out his hands but the baby wrapped his arms around his father's neck.  "I see.  I shall hold you later and sing to you.  You will like what I found in Britain once I got rid of the stuffy people who wanted me back."  He looked at Xander.  "Is the water working?"

"Except back in the master suite," Xander agreed.  He nodded at the social worker.  "She thinks Goemon's an internationally wanted man."

Marcus glared at her, holding out a hand.  "Gun."

Xander gave him a look.  "What makes you think I'm carrying?" he asked.

"You always are," Goemon told him.

"Not true, I didn't carry a gun during the convention," he pouted.  "I had a proper sword and I used it very well."  Goemon gave him a look.  "Fine, I am packing heat," he admitted with a sigh.

"Gun, Lavelle."  He shrugged and handed it over. "I have just dealt with people like you; ones who take children and make them miserable.  Leave," he ordered, cocking it.

"Marcus, you need to work on your temper," Goemon said firmly, taking the gun from him.  "Go do so."  The boy looked at him.  "Now," he ordered.  Marcus nodded and bowed, heading to do that.  "Forgive him, he has just had a transatlantic fight and was obviously nagged by his former relatives."  She opened her mouth.  "Unless you can present a court order to take my son, you should leave," he warned.  "Before I lose my temper as my other student did."

She backed away from him.  "I will be back.  It's clear that you abuse your students," she said, pointing at the bruise on Xander's neck, much faded but still in evidence.

"I asked him to teach me a move.  I was fully aware of what I was getting myself into," Xander said firmly.  She snorted.  "Let's put it this way, lady."  He said something in polite Japanese.

Jigen looked at him.  "Eliminating from the body is often hard?" he translated with a touch of amusement.  "That's it, I'm taking you both down to the bar tonight to teach you how to swear properly."

"I learned polite, anime Japanese," Xander defended, frowning at him.  "I don't know how to say 'tough shit' in Japanese. It's never come up."

"That's why I'm taking both you and Marcus to the bar tonight," Jigen said firmly.  He rolled his eyes.  "Jesus, kid.  That's nearly as embarrassing as Marcus saying 'dirt' when he swears."

Xander shrugged.  "I was staying polite.  Be thankful."  He looked at the woman, bowing to her, eyes narrowing.  "You are treading on what little patience I have, woman.  Goemon is not the one you have to worry about."

"You carry a weapon?" she asked, tense now.

He nodded. "Everywhere but to take a shit.  Even then it doesn't always drop at the door."  She wobbled a little.  "You are aggravating my sensei and he's the only one around here with control of his emotions, or else you'd already be dead.  I'd leave."  She made a scoffing sound so he grabbed Goemon's sword, making her run away screaming for her life.  "Do not come back!" he called after her.  He took a deep breath then handed the sword back hilt first, properly, then went back to fixing his plumbing.  He had forgotten the lighter again so he used his gun to start the fire.   He tucked the pistol back into his waistband and crawled back under the house to seal his work so Fujiko could have her bathroom back.

"Xander, you too shall be working on your anger issues later," Goemon called as he walked into the house.  He knew the boy could hear him under there.

Lupin looked at Jigen.  "His accent is much better," he noted, smirking at him.  Jigen took off his hat to hit him with it, then went inside to watch the baby for a while.  As long as he didn't have to change a diaper, he was just fine with the little guy.  Ishi wobbled for a minute, then took off running.  "He was slower before," he noted, cracking the father up.

Fujiko came out of the bedroom, holding her son against her chest facing outward.  "He runs like Pops is chasing him," she said, handing him to his father.  "I'm doing laundry."  He nodded, keeping the baby until she got back into the bedroom and closed the door.  Then he let him down again.

"You know what comes next," Jigen said, giving him a nudge.

"Climbing," Lupin agreed as he walked in.  "What did Xander shoot?"

"He lit the torch," Goemon told him.  He pointed at the lighter on the table. His son ran out of the hallway, coming back with his blanket trailing him.  Then he ran to stare out the window.  There were birds, it must be fascinating to him.  "Our general contractor?"

"You'd rather he said your wife's loyal slave?" Jigen asked.  Goemon gave him a look.

Ishi looked at the birds, frowning at them.  He babbled at them to shut up, he was trying to sneak back into help mommy.  They would give him away.  One of them sang louder and he pouted at it.  Then he babbled louder, waving his arms. His human slave came over the side of the porch, making the irritating things quit making louder noises than him so he went back to trying to find a way in to help his mommy.  She was being tormented by the kicking thing that had kicked him!  It was not right, he would save her!

Xander came in off the porch and went to turn on that pipe.  "Dryer here yet?" he asked.

"Not yet," Goemon said, watching him go.  His son was following him.  Fujiko squealed as they entered her room without knocking.  "Xander, the polite thing is to knock," he called.

"I've seen her naked and I don't want a woman," Xander called back.

Goemon walked in to look at him, scowling.  "When?"

"The boat?  Jigen's birthday?" he suggested, grinning at him.  "When she taught me how to shave myself.  At the spa while we were getting massages while you guys were interviewing.  You know she's not my type and I don't stare at tits since I get my own sometimes."

"It is not respectful."

Xander looked at him and grinned.  "Think who you just said that to," he pointed out.  Goemon cracked.  "I promise, I've never *looked*, but sometimes seeing her was unavoidable.  It's hard to teach someone to shave their pussy without being naked and doing a demonstration."  Goemon blushed and he grinned more wickedly.  "Speaking of, she might need help with hers.  She got waxed at the spa."  He listened for gurgling noises, then nodded, walking out, taking the baby with him since his parents were kissing.  "You don't need to play with her underwear yet," he said, tossing it back into the bedroom.  "Come on, little man.  Help your Uncle Jigen do something *really* important, read."  He handed over the baby, grinning at him. "Let me check on the pipes, then can we have lunch?"  He headed out, jumping over the porch railing.  It wasn't that far down.  He crawled back under the house, finding only one pipe had a small leak.  He quickly lit the torch and fixed it.  "There, perfect," he decided. He moved off his tarp, heading back into the house.  He had unlit the torch and tossed it away, it was empty. He started to sit down but Lupin kept him from it.  "What?"

"You're muddy, go change," he said, giving him a little shove toward his room.

Marcus rushed in.  "Master, I had another of those out of body experiences," he called.

Lupin looked at him.  "He's presently shagging his wife," he noted.  "Can it wait?"  Marcus panted, nodding.  "Good.  Go check the treehouse to make sure it's secure.  If not, figure out how to anchor it better."  Marcus nodded, heading to do that.   "Is my kid going to make this more of a madhouse or less?"

"Less," Jigen said dryly.  "They'll sit and play with him more."  Ishi got up and went to stroll out onto the deck.  He jumped up to stop him from climbing into a chair.  He could go over the railing that way.  "No, kid.  Your father would kill me if you did that."  He walked him inside and closed the door, locking it.  He and Lupin shared a look.

"Ishi, come see the pretties I have," Lupin said, sitting down.  He pulled out a pair of handcuffs he had stolen off Myron yesterday, dangling them.  The baby cooed and came over to look at the shiny silver things.  He grabbed them and gummed them, wincing at the taste, but kept on.  "Those are handcuffs.  When you're old enough, I'll teach you how to get out of them.  It's a very important skill," he said seriously.  Ishi gave him an adoring look for giving him something silver.  "You're a good boy," he said, patting him on the head.  He looked at Jigen and smirked.

Jigen sat down, pulling out a baby sword, plastic for now.  "This is yours," he said.  "I found it for you when we came."  The baby gave him an adoring look and switched to gumming it. It was silver too.  He smirked back.  "I told you I knew what to get him."  Fujiko screamed in pleasure and they clapped politely, like they would at home.

Marcus came in from outside, giving them a look.  "Don't do that to him yet," he sighed, handing over his own present of a silver amulet.  "Try that, sweetheart.  It should be better for your gums than the sword or the handcuffs."  He gave him a pat.  "Where is Xander?"

"Probably asleep in the tub," Lupin offered.  "He's in the blue bedroom.  On this side, rear bedroom," he said.  Marcus trotted that way to check on him.  "Too much caffeine for the boy," he said dryly.  Jigen burst out laughing, shaking his head and swatting him again.  Ishi swatted him too.  "Hey!  Don't I give you nice presents?" he said, picking him up to tickle and play with him.

Goemon came out a while later, looking at his son's new toys.  Then he smiled, shaking his head.  "Typical."  He walked into the kitchen, getting himself something to drink and some grapes for his wife if he could find them.  "Do we have any grapes?"

"No," Lupin called.

"I'll go," Jigen promised, getting up so he could take the bike down the mountain to the market.  Grapes did sound good.

Lupin held up the baby sword.  "From Jigen."

Goemon took it to look at, giving it an experimental swing.  "Well balanced," he agreed, handing it back.  His son snatched it and gummed it. "Yes, you do that," he agreed. "I will teach you how to use it soon enough."  He went back into the bedroom, closing them in again before his son could help them cuddle.  "Jigen went to get you some grapes."  She gave him a sleepy smile and put her head back down.  "You rest."  He laid down, sipping his water. Maybe this house was a good idea after all.  Even if it was big.

***

Ishi knew that there was something going on in his house.  He could hear someone talking.  They weren't talking to him and they should be.  His human slaves did not have the right of communication with any other beings but him.  He had forbidden it, did they not listen?  He wiggled his crib railing.  His father had not latched it properly again this evening and it fell on one side enough for him to get free of his containment.  He caught his balance easily.  This upright thing was rather fun.  It let him do so much more than the animal movements he had been doing.  He wandered toward the noise.  It wasn't his parents.  They were making noises but it wasn't the same sort.  They were making growling and hissing noises.  Perhaps they were part animal?  It would suit his nature.  He was a fierce beast, his slaves had told him so.  He wandered toward the noise, giggling when he found a partially open door.  It was coming from in there.  He looked up, the soft sleeping space was so high!

Then he looked at the foot of the bed.  There was a soft, yet solid thing there that gave some when he stepped on it.  It got him closer.  He groaned and looked around.  Next to him was something higher, but not something he could reach.  He made a sound of disgust but none of his slaves appeared to help him. He noticed something was nearby and he stepped onto it.  It wiggled so he fell a little, making him let out a wail of protest.  No one woke up so he quit.  He got onto that thing again, patting it when it wiggled under him.  Then the bigger thing was next to him.  He walked onto it, it was solid, no more wiggling like him when he was being tickled by his uncle.  Now he could see onto the soft sleeping spot.  Ah, his human slaves had been put down for a nap.  This is where they had disappeared to.  He didn't understand, but they kept disappearing until he paid attention to them again when they begged and treated him.  He crawled onto the soft place.  He couldn't walk on this, he would fall.  He sat himself down, sticking his thumb into his mouth to consider them. One of them said something and he leaned closer, but he wasn't talking to him.  He scowled.  How dare they speak to anything other than him!  He growled and scowled when a pair of eyes opened and stared at him.  He made more angry noises.  His slaves were doing things other than for his benefit.  That strange silver thing came up and he heard whirring.  Then the beeping happened.  He heard a ring in another room, then the eyes closed and the head and hand fell again.  He crawled over to the silver thing, he liked it. It made pretty noises and sounded like his parents. He heard his father and babbled at him, patting the pretty thing.  It was such a good pretty thing.  Much better than his slaves apparently. He glared at them again, and was still doing so when his father came in.  He was picked up and squealed in indignation.  How dare they manhandle him!  He batted at his father, but his father caught his hands and pushed a button on the pretty thing.  He tried to get it but his father wasn't relenting.  He started to cry, he wanted it!

Goemon looked at his son, noticing the video function was running.  He stopped it and looked at it, then at his son.  "You are in trouble," he told him, taking him into the bedroom with him and Fujiko.  "You must let your uncles sleep," he instructed.  "They have worked very hard for your benefit as well as mine."  He sat down in lotus in front of the windows, letting his son stare out them as well.  "It is time we had a talk, my son.  You are very young but you must start to show better manners."  His son looked up at him, liking the growly undertones in his voice by the smile on his face.   He hung his head, shaking it.

"He's too young," Fujiko said from the bed.  "Where was he?"

"He found a way to get onto the trio's bed and was giving them a fierce scowl for daring to sleep while he was present."  He tossed over Lupin's phone, still shaking his head when she laughed.  "It is not appropriate."

"He's a baby, Goemon.  He doesn't understand that word yet.  To him, we're here to serve him."  She slid off the bed and came over to sit next to him, leaning against his arm.  "He's going to have a really bad time soon when this one is born and they're still patient.  We can slowly wean him of them.  They'll pout at you if you take away their fun," she said with a small smile.  He groaned and shook his head.  "We'll have to start closing his door.  He can't open them yet."  He nodded.  She yawned and closed her eyes.  "He'll need them even more when I have her."  She stroked her stomach, earning a kick, which made her grunt.  Her son squealed in outrage and reached over to help her.  She opened her eyes to look at him.  "It's nice that you do love me, son.  I'm flattered."  She took him to hold, kissing him on the top of his head.  "Did you have fun ranting at your uncles?"

Ishi felt something kick his foot so he kicked back, frowning at the lump.  He would have to do something about that annoyance.

"No!" Xander yelled, running outside.

"Another nightmare," Goemon sighed, standing up. He hauled his wife up, helping her back into bed.  "Get him back to sleep, I'll put him back into his crib when I get back."  He walked outside, looking around.  "Xander?" he called quietly.  He looked up but his own habit of sitting on the roof had not been taken by him.  He looked out toward the treehouse, grimacing.  "It wouldn't stand his weight.  The tree is too small yet."  He jumped over the railing, looking under the house.  There he was.  "Xander," he called quietly, holding out a hand.  The boy growled at him.  "Fine.  Are you all right?"

"Go away," Xander said angrily.  "I can't control it!  I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"You will not hurt me," he promised, crawling in to retrieve him.  Xander batted at him but it was inefficient in this small of a space.  He simply pinned him down and looked at him.  "What is wrong?" he asked patiently.  The boy growled at him again.  "I see.  Are you awake?"

"Goemon?" Jigen called.  "Do you have him?"

"I do.  He is growling."

Jigen slid down the pole, coming to rest beside where the opening was.  He squatted down, looking at Xander.  "Hey."  Xander growled at him.  "Is this some sort of funny after- possession thing?"  Xander whimpered and struggled.  "Drag him this way, let me have him," he ordered, taking the boy from Goemon, holding him tightly against his chest.  "Xander," he said, talking into his ear.  "Xander?  Wake up, Xander."  He gave Marcus a look as he walked through the wall.  "Fujiko said no magic in the house."

Marcus gave him a confused look.  "I haven't."

"You just walked through the wall."

Marcus shook his head.  "No I didn't.  I came down off the porch. I remember sliding down the pole.  What are you talking about?" Jigen opened his mouth but Goemon shook his head to let it be this time, that he would deal with it.  "Is he having a nightmare?  I had one myself just then."  He rubbed his eyes. "Xander, did you see the fire?" he asked.  Xander growled and tried to lunge at him but Jigen had him held tightly.  "Fine.  What did you see?"  He touched the boy's forehead, staring into his eyes.  "Tell me, vocalize it," he instructed, still staring.  Xander whimpered.  "Tell me, Xander," he repeated.

"Tell me," Jigen agreed.  Xander shivered and went limp.  He started to cry.  "Shh."  Jigen got him sitting down, holding him.  "What happened?"

"It's happening again," he said, looking at him.  "It's all happening again.  Everything."

"Everything what?" Marcus asked.

Xander looked at him.  "Willow.  You.  Wesley.  Dawn.  All of it."  He shuddered.  Marcus shook his head.  "Yes, you!"

"Xander, I could never hope to match Dawn in a magical duel," he pointed out.

"Life is often thought to be a spiral," Goemon said gently.  "Certain themes come back time and again.  Which one is he, Xander?"

"Both," he said miserably.  "All of them."

"He's not precognitive," Jigen pointed out.

"No, but some themes of his dreams have shown to be true," Marcus said, sitting down on the cool ground.  "He had a dream about Spike, we ran into him.  Spike did try to eat him.  That same nightmare, Zenigata found our hideout.  Dawn brought him around.  We can only hope he doesn't regain the memories I blocked.  They were turned, made to be the same.  It is possible that Xander could be turned back to the side of good or Zenigata forced onto our side to protect himself or Dawn. It is possible that Xander would have to work with him in such a circumstance."

"What about the one with the choker and the kids?" Jigen asked.

"Part of that was fear and dread.  Fear of what could happen while he was locked in the female form.  Dread of losing you and Lupin. A longing for his own child and having to make the best that he can of a bad situation."  Jigen shrugged. "We may have to wait years to see if he is subjected to such a bad circumstance.  If he does, I was not in his nightmare and I will be there if something happened."  He looked at Xander again.  "I saw a fire.  Him with children, trapped together.  Not yours," he told Goemon, making him relax.  "I have never had any sort of gift for precognitions.  It could very well be a deeper fear coming out.  All I know was that I was frozen, I could not help and that Xander had to save as many of them by himself as he could.  You showed up much later, while he was in the hospital," he told Jigen.  "It matches well with my other one, where we were all caught and sent to separate prisons and had to get each other out even though we could not communicate."  Jigen shuddered.  "Xander ended up in solitary because he had to defend himself against the 'new boy on the block' mentality.  Goemon ended up in a psychiatric ward for some reason.  You and Lupin were both in maximum security facilities, the sort where you see daylight for an hour a day, and never anyone else. I was deported to Britain and held in theirs."

"For what?" Jigen asked.

Marcus snorted.  "We had to help Zenigata to even out the balance again.  So Xander used the credit card he snatched yesterday to draw him to an area.  It helped him get back together with his mother and kept him away from an assassin.  Xander told him such when he came to taunt him.  He looked so stunned, so real, because the person had infiltrated his unit and was taking his people away from him, thereby making us his only support network.   He went to Goemon through Dawn because she is ever loyal to those she considers hers."  He reached down to stroke Xander's forehead, calming him down again.  "What did you see, Xander?  It is important.  I need to know if there is reality to what you see, even the tiniest touch."

Xander looked at him and shook his head.  "I can't."

"Goemon, have we stocked any liquor yet?" Jigen asked quietly.  He shook his head.  "Then I'm taking Xander back to the city to get him calmed down.  We'll be in the pad there."  Goemon nodded, helping him get Xander up and back into the house.  They got the boy dressed and he held him while Jigen got dressed.  "Thanks."  He grabbed their wallets and weapons, leading the boy away.  He wasn't resisting.  He took Marcus' keys from his hand, heading out to the little Euro-mobile compact car.  He hated them but it would do for now.  He got the boy buckled in, noticing he was asleep again.  Then he got in to drive.  He turned on some music so it played softly, hoping to bring Xander back around but he wasn't budging.

***

Lupin woke up, looking at the empty bedroom.  He frowned and climbed out of the empty bed, heading out to see if his lovers were in the living area.  "Fujiko," he said sleepily when he came across her.  "What are you making Xander do today?"

"I don't make him do anything!" she said, going back to bed to pout.

He groaned and shook his head.  "Fuji, where are they?" he called.

"Ask the man of the house," she said, slamming the door.

"Fine."  He walked out onto the porch, leaning on the railing.  No one cared that he was in his boxers.  Who would see?  "Goemon?" he called.  He looked back from his kata.  "Jigen and Xander?"

"Xander had some traumatic nightmare and Jigen took him to calm him down.  He said they would be in the city in the usual place."  He walked closer, giving the boxers a look.  Lupin gave a little shrug.  "All he would say was that the cycle was starting again.  He mentioned Willow, Marcus, Wesley, and Dawn."  Lupin frowned.  "He growled a lot.  That is all I know.  Thank you for not chastising my son last night."

"It showed ingenuity," Lupin said dryly.  "Even if he was rather upset with us."

"He believes we are his willing servants," Goemon said dryly.  "I will have to break that attitude yet."  He walked away, going back to his exercise with Marcus. "You should tell him your theories."  Marcus nodded, running around the house to walk in the front door like a polite person.  He smiled as he went back to his exercises.  He would have to teach the boy to climb the pole.  He groaned when that thought made him stop.  He did not think in such patterns, that was Xander.  He was being infected by smut.

Marcus tapped on Lupin's door, walking in when he didn't get an answer to wait on him since he was in the shower.  He wrote out what he knew on Xander's open laptop, giving him a hard copy to study at his leisure.

***

Jigen walked Xander into a bar, patting him on the back as he sat him next to him.  "Get us something strong," he ordered, putting down a hundred dollar bill.  The bartender looked at him, then at Xander.  "We're both legal," he said dryly.

"Fine.  Whatever."  He handed them two beers and two shots from a questionable bottle.  He watched as Xander slammed his like a pro then gulped the beer.  "Another?"  Jigen nodded, doing his own but sipping his beer.  He gave them what they would need, then went to talk to a guy further down the bar.  "Do you know them?" he asked the young tough.

The guy looked at them, then spit out his beer.  "The one with the hat is Jigen.  Second to Lupin the Third," he hissed.  "The other is Lavelle, his student and the one who was making those boys move furniture."  The bartender looked impressed, giving them another look.  "They belong here."  The bartender nodded and went to wait on someone else.  He moved up to sit beside Xander, taking the next barstool brazenly.  "You're the one who had some of the younger idiots moving stuff for the pregnant one," he stated with a chin nod.  Xander looked at him and nodded.  "Why does the Don like her suddenly?  He hated her for years."

"She's pregnant.  He has a ...soft spot for pregnant women," Xander said dryly, slamming his second shot too.  "Pregnant women are often thought of as being special."

"He's stated publicly he hates her," he persisted.

Xander shrugged.  "Pregnant women are often seen as more innocent and unable to pull off a heist.  Besides, she was happy and had her son with her.  He thought the baby had skills he could use some day."  Jigen choked.  "Sorry.  Yeah, he gave him a long look."  He sipped his second beer.  "Let's leave it at the fact that he's a father himself and he understands pregnant women."

"They're insane, no one *understands* them."

"All of them move in a pattern of behavior," Xander corrected firmly.  "They all go through similar problems, you simply have to find out their stimulus and what changes it.  With Fujiko, it's first thing in the morning.  Never wake the woman up.  If she's just up, feed her and she's instantly happier. Until she's eaten, she will kill someone.  Knowing this has kept her evenly balanced since we got into town.  It's kept her husband alive."  The man looked impressed.  "Each pregnant woman has a different stimulus that creates the desire for a mood swing, you only have to figure out what it is and then you will figure out how to fix it."  He took another sip.  "Why?  You've got how many girls pregnant at the moment?"

"None," he said happily.  "I don't need little brats yet, not until I've found a stable place."

"In the mafia?" Jigen asked.  "Is that possible?  It wasn't in Chicago's."

The minor thug looked impressed.  "You were in one of the American ones?"  He nodded.  "Wow.  Do you think they'd take Asians?"

"Maybe some of the West Coast ones," Jigen offered.  "Probably not in New York or Chicago.  Philly's got some liberal guys but they've also got the Yakuza trying to muscle in on their trades.  It's a mostly black group there.  There you get one chance.  Then you die."

The young man nodded.  "Thank you for the advice, old one."  Xander growled.  "Sorry, not meant to insult," he said quickly.  "Please don't kill me."

"I haven't killed anyone in days," Xander said dryly.  "Thanks though."  The man nodded and backed off.

"Hey," Jigen said, bringing him back.  "I need him to learn how to swear in Japanese.  He says some of the oddest things when he's looking for a phrase."

"Anyone new to a language can do that," he pointed out.  Xander said something in Japanese, making him laugh.  "That was interesting," he agreed.  "This is how you say that."  He said it, letting Xander repeat it.  Then they got a corner table so he could teach him all sorts of useful phrases.  The boy was very nice, he paid very good attention.  He also corrected some of his accent problems.  Americans were odd sounding creatures outside their own little homeland.

***

Jigen led Xander into the apartment the group rented, letting him have the couch since he was so drunk.  He locked the door, including the deadbolt.  For some reason Xander had problems with deadbolts when he was drunk.  "Give," he ordered, sitting next to him.  "What was the nightmare about?"

"You sent me away," he said miserably.  "Because of my temper.  I walked away until you needed me then I came back and shooted everyone and then left again.  I didn't let you capture me."

Jigen gave him a hug.  "We're not sending you away, even if you had killed that woman yesterday."  Xander gave him a big-eyed look.  "I promise.  We're not sending you away.  Even when we're mad at you for doing stupid shit like handing Marcus your gun yesterday we remember how useful you are and how much you've helped us and we lose our anger."  Xander snuggled into his arms.  "Feel better?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  Should we go back?"  Xander shook his head.  "Want to spend some time with it just being us?"  Xander nodded.  "Okay," he agreed.  "What was the one with the magic?"

"I became Dawn," he said, sitting up again, staring at him.  "The whole blood sacrifice to open the worlds to end it.  Dawn was Wesley.  She went bad, really, really bad.  Marcus became Willow, doing the magic addiction thing.  I saw it being me that Dawn was cutting and it made me freak."

"Of course it did," he agreed, giving him a pat. "If she tries, Pops is gonna be mourning.  Got it?"  He nodded, giving him such a trusting look.  "Now, I want the truth," he said firmly.  "I want to know how good you are with the magic stuff and how good you actually are with the sword."  Xander mumbled something.  "What?" he asked, not believing what he had heard.

"I've been practicing what I saw on some of the anime stuff.  Some of it was really nice and it felt right," he said, giving him a small grin.  "It works."

Jigen groaned and shook his head.  "You're not supposed to do what you see on a cartoon, Xander.  Did no one ever have a talk with you about the difference between cartoons and reality?"  Xander gave him a grimace and a nod.  "More than once?"

"Yeah," he admitted, starting to grin, "but it worked!"

"Yeah, it did," Jigen admitted.  "I want you to show Goemon all of it, kid."  Xander nodded.  "Good boy.  And the magic?"

"I'm able to use what the thing left in me," he said bitterly.  "I've always had access to that.  I've learned some by watching, some from remembering watching Tara and Willow working.  Ethan gave me some minor instruction to help me ward off more possessions.  Together with the reading I've done, I'm decent enough in a light sort of way.  I've only studied the battle possibilities."

"Which is useful for you and us," Jigen agreed quickly.  He could see a major pout brewing and wanted to avoid it.  Xander lunged over and gave him a kiss. "What was that for?"

"For not making fun of me for my cartoon addiction."  He stood up, wobbling slightly.  "Which way to the bathroom?"

"Stairs, right, second door," he said, pointing to the three small stairs.  Xander gave them a look like it was flights.  "Come on, Xander, I'll lead you to the bathroom before you pass out."  He got him into there and left him alone, going to check on the status of his bed.  He found little furry balls on it and whined.  "What are you!" he demanded.  Xander wobbled into his back, undressed already.  "Look, we've had a visitor."

Xander cooed, walking over to look at them.  "Oh, you're so cute," he cooed, making one of the things give him a pitiful look.  "Shit, you've got to be starving.  Jigen, I need some formula.  Please?" he begged.  "They're babies!"

Jigen sighed and went to find a store.  He could humor him, Lupin could tell him he couldn't keep them.  Whatever they were.  He called the house, smirking at the irritated person on the other end.  "Where would I go for fuzzy thing formula?  Something broke into the apartment and gave birth on my bed, leaving two or three baby things on it to starve to death."  He listened to the advice.  "Okay.  No, Xander's with them," he admitted.  "Yeah, him."  He smirked at the disgruntled voice.  "Give me ten, then I'll tell you."  He got into the car and started it, heading for a shopping center. It should have a pet store.   If they didn't have it, they could tell him where he needed to be.

***

Xander looked up as Goemon walked in, smiling and holding up his new friends.  "Look."

Goemon came over to look at the small beings.  "What are they?"

"Kittens.  They were on Jigen's bed.  They're very badly malnourished."  He fed one of them some more formula with an eyedropper, cooing when it drank it.  "Good, Felicia," he praised.  "Good girl."

"You've named them?" Goemon said, starting to frown.  Xander gave him a pitiful look.  Fine, Lupin could tell him no.  He was not that mean.  "I believe we are supposed to be working out today," he noted.  "You were going to show me these new things?"

Xander nodded, putting his new friends safely off to the side and grabbing his broom handle. It was what he had been practicing with so he looked better than he was.  Goemon gave him a look. "It's all there was here."  Goemon shook his head and took off his sword, breaking the long stick in half.  "Thanks."  They faced off in the open area, Xander charging for once.

Goemon corrected his stance, and had him do it again.  "Better," he agreed.  He tested the next move, finding no faults in it, even though it looked odd.  The next few were much the same way, but the last one the boy had picked up was really impressive.  It was some sort of spinning attack, with the blade going behind your foot.  He gave the boy a pat on the shoulder. "Keep that one," he told him.  Xander grinned. "Very nice.  I will have to learn a counter to that."  He heard a pitiful noise and looked toward the bedroom.  "Was that Jigen?"

"Yeah.  We had cheese for dinner last night," he said with a grin.  "His body is not happy with him."

"Ah."  Goemon nodded.  He had been witness to a similar incident in his youth.  He walked over to look at the kittens.  "Xander, I do not believe these are the same species."

"They're both kittens," Xander defended. "I know it's hard to keep them and travel, but they needed help.  It's my good deed for the year.  I'll find them a good home."

Goemon gave him a look.  "See that you do.  In this area of the city, what became of their mother would probably make you ill."

"Jigen said that and I almost slugged him," he said dryly.  "They need me."

"I know they do," he agreed, giving him a pat on the shoulder.  "Give them some more formula and then come work with me some more.  Did you learn anything else?"

"I've been trying some stuff but I suck at it," Xander admitted.  He leaned over the back of the couch to give them some more formula, giving them a small pet as well.  "Good Felicity and Granger."  He stood back up, heading back to the open area.  "I liked the Harry Potter books."

"As did I," he agreed, attacking.  Xander blocked and went into one of the moves he couldn't quite get, and he saw why immediately.  "You're off-balance. You should be doing that on your blind side," he said quietly.  Xander nodded and backed off.  "Perhaps I can mutate it for you," he admitted.  Xander gave him a quick grin, charging again.  Goemon stepped out of his way, catching his blind-side shoulder.  "Pause."  Xander stopped.  "We need to work on your blind side before you go any farther.  It is apparent that this is going to be your main weakness with the sword."

"With every weapon," Xander pointed out.

"You have learned to compensate for that with a projectile one."

"I try to stand with that side to Jigen or a wall."

"I had not noticed."  He gave it some thought, he did stand with that side to someone he trusted.  "Very well. Would you object to trying some sensory tests and some exercises to broaden it?"

"Nope, not in the least," he admitted.  "I'm all for compensation.  That shit bothers me."

"I know it does, Xander.  It is a reminder you cannot forget of that former life," he said gently.  Jigen came out of the bathroom.  "Did you need something medicinal made?"

"Hell no," Jigen said bitterly.  "I've already taken something."  He looked at the pair of them.  "Something wrong?"

"He was showing me some of his new moves.  One of them is quite impressive.  Whoever was drawing it was very imaginative."  He looked at Xander.  "For now, we are going to work on a weakness he has."  He pushed the boy down.  "Close your eyes.  Tell me when you can no longer sense me moving around you."  He slowly walked around him, moving into a stealthier movement.

"I can hear you breathing," Xander told him.

"Did it get more sensitive?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  It means your brain wants you to get past this."

"I wish we had real cybernetics already," Xander said bitterly.  "I wouldn't care if it wasn't a real eye, I just want one that can see."

"People are working on it.  Perhaps before you retire," Goemon told him.  He and Jigen locked gazes.  The boy was a big one for working on instinct.  He stood behind and just off to the side of his shoulder of his sightless side.  He watched Xander shift uncomfortably.   "It is time for me to mimic something from a movie," he decided.  He headed for the winter clothes closet, taking out two scarves.  He tied one around the boy's eyes and one around his ears.  He helped him up and knocked their sticks together.  Xander got the point, smirking at him as he moved forward to try and find him.  It was from Luke's Jedi training and he understood that.

Jigen shook his head.  "You two fanboys are insane," he told them, coming down to look at the creatures.  He still wasn't sure they were kittens.  One looked more like a big rat to him.

***

Lupin walked into the apartment, looking around.  "Guys?" he called.

"Bedroom," Jigen yelled.

Lupin strolled that way, pausing to look at the fuzzy, mewling things on the couch.  He shook his head, heading into the bedroom areas.  "Why do we have fuzzy things?"  The other men pointed at Xander, who was bound to the bed.  "Did he need punished?"

"He had a small freakout earlier," Jigen admitted.  "He had a nightmare about the new baby turning into Willow."  Lupin nodded.  "So he'll be fine soon."

"Are those actually kittens?" Goemon asked.  "I cannot identify one of them."

Lupin shrugged.  "You're asking the wrong person."  He went back to the couch, looking at them.  They were still crying pitifully so he picked up the eye dropper and fed them some of the formula sitting on the table.  They gave him grateful noises.  "Sorry, the other human is sleeping."  He lifted one up to look at, frowning at it.  "You're not a cat," he told it.  It made sucking noises at him.  "Yeah, you can have some more," he agreed, feeding it some more formula.  He put it down and looked at the other one.  It was laying in a wet spot and he frowned.  The towel was absorbent but really.  He picked both animals up, taking them in to bathe them.  "Didn't Xander take care of them?" he called.

"He has been but today he's been off," Jigen said, coming to the door.  "I've already sprayed the couch once," he said with a small grin.  "I know what the nightmares are about now."  He walked in at the grunt and closed the door.  "Let's see, his old insecurities have come out again.  He thought we were going to send him away for nearly doing the social worker.  Which could have been a bad situation," he said to ease the frown.  "So apparently we sent him away, he learned to appreciate or at least tolerate the lone wolf status.  He walked in to save us, then left again before we could stop him."

"That sounds more like a punishment for us," Lupin told him.

"I thought so too.  I've had him talking about it. He knows we won't send him away but it hasn't stopped the nightmares.  The other one was a little more interesting. He became Dawn during the whole Key fiasco.  Dawn became Wesley, Marcus became Willow."   Lupin gave him a look and he had to save the not-kitten.  He nodded, taking that one to scrub.  He held it up to look at.  "What are you?"

"I don't know, but it's not a kitten," Lupin assured him.  "Can we find a way to make him *realize* it?"  Jigen shrugged.  "He knows but his subconscious doesn't?"

"He only has these after he does something his mind says is really stupid."  Lupin grunted.  "In this case, nearly killing her was really dumb."

"It was," Lupin agreed dryly, smirking at him. "She was told to go away by the village's elders.  They stood up for Goemon."  He washed the other one, making it scream in outrage and it sounded like pain.  He picked it up to look at it.  "What was that?"  He touched it's stomach.  "It's got a hard stomach."

"I've promised him to find a vet tomorrow," Jigen told him.

"Let's find one today.  Maybe he can yell at Xander."  Jigen smirked at him.  "Couldn't you stop him?"

"After he found them starving on my bed?"

"Never mind.  Not even Satan could have pried them out of his hands probably."  He went to find a veterinarian for the beasts.  Then he would convince them that Dawn should have them.  He would let her take care of them for him.  He was sure of it.  Hopefully.

***

Fujiko wandered out of her bedroom, looking around.  "We alone again?" she asked.  Marcus nodded, not looking away from his book.  She walked over and snatched it, tossing it away.  "Good.  We've got to talk, kid.  You've now reached the scary and dependent stage and if you keep it up I'm going to have Lupin kick your ass then send you away permanently." Marcus looked shocked.  "You're doing magic without realizing it."

"So does Xander," he defended.

"Xander was tainted and tortured by magic and had it forced through his body.  I'm surprised he doesn't explode with it.  You weren't."  She put her hands on her spreading hips.  "You are a normal human with a few good gifts.  If you like magic that much, go help Ethan."  He gave her the most hurt look.  "Seriously," she said firmly.  "We're not teaching you so you can use it like this.  Choose, Marcus, magic or us."  He curled up, looking at her.  She sat next to him.  "I know it's seductive, but if you make this your life, then make it your life.  Not research, not the sword.  Most excellent warriors don't have the time to do other things.  They don't have time to cross-train, to pick up other skills.  None of it.  Now, either you're not sleeping, you've found a way around it, or you're slacking in one of the two areas."

"I only study magic in my free time."

She snorted.  "Yeah, try another," she told him.  He gave her that look again.  "You don't have free time, Marcus.  You have a busy life with a hectic training schedule."  He shook his head.  "Now, I'll give you until they bring Xander back to decide.  If you do decide to go for magic, none of us will be hurt but I will expect you to do what Dawn has and still be loyal to us."

"I would never betray you!" he said, standing up to glare at her.  "The thought has never crossed my mind!"

"Not even for more power?" she asked, getting comfortable.  "Not even for a taste of the drug you can't see?"

"I'm not addicted!"

"You are!" she said sternly.  "You floated the baby out to you this morning instead of going to get him.  You 'created' breakfast," she said, doing the finger quotes.  "From where I'm not sure I want to know.  We'll have enough problems with the new one without you starting to feen for the shit.  Now, you have about a day.  If you go for magic, then you will calmly tell Goemon that you are and that you could be back.  He'll miss you but he's seen the same signs I have."  She stood up with a little struggle.  "While it's useful to have, it's not necessary to have."

"You prefer Xander?" he sneered.

"No, I hate the fact that the kid has this power.  Yes, it's useful, it's saved my ass, it saved my daughter's life.  It's probably saved Ishi.  I won't let him do it around either of them unless it's necessary.  For him, it's something he can do, not all of his gifts."  She walked away, letting him think for now.  She felt a touch to her mind and firmed her shields.  Xander had shown her this.  "I felt that," she called.  She sat down to look out the nursery window.  Ishi was sleeping for a change, it was peaceful in here.

Marcus sat down to meditate.  Was he following down his father's path?  Or was he becoming Rosenburg?  If he was, he might have to give it up totally.  He shuddered at the mere thought and that made him pause.  "Oh, damn," he said, holding his head.  "I am her.  I'm the cause of Xander's nightmares."  He looked up.  "Dawn, may I come visit?" he called.  "It's important."  A small portal was created and he hurried through, grabbing her by the arms as she nibbled in the kitchen. "I'm turning into Rosenburg," he told her.  She looked at him and nodded.  "I'm setting off Xander's nightmares.  I'm going to become evil soon."

"No, you realize you have a problem.  Like any addict, the problem can be changed," she said firmly.  "You are much more than your magic and some day you will be able to use it without supervision."  He nodded, resting his head on her shoulder.  She gave him a pat on the back.  "Fuji, I've got him," she called, closing the portal.  She walked him into her working area, sitting him down to talk with him while she nibbled.  She hated PMS cravings.

***

Two weeks later, Lupin knocked on Dawn's door, handing over the small carrying cage.  "Otherwise Xander will keep them," he told her, turning and walking away.

"Do you want him back?" she called.

He stopped and looked at her.  "That depends on him," he said honestly. "Is he still feening for a new taste?"

"Some," she admitted.  "But he's not doing it unconsciously.  With some careful monitoring and someone else holding his books, he should be fine.  And no, I don't mean Xander.  He's about reached his top limit."  She leaned against the door frame.  "If you want him, I can send him back."

Lupin shrugged.  "I'd rather he waited until he was better.  He's dangerous."

"He'll always be dangerous and the only thing that can help him right now is a more stringent bout of training his mind."  He nodded, accepting that.  "So I'm leaving it up to you."

"I don't want to have to babysit," he said honestly.  "He's supposed to be an adult.  We're really busy.  We're on the run.  How are we supposed to do that for him?"  He walked back to stand beside her.  "Is it even possible in the life?"

She shrugged.  "I don't know.  If it was Xander, would you?"

"If it was Xander, we wouldn't be having this talk," he pointed out.  "The boy self- regulates everything to the point of putting himself down.  He's done it again recently because he did something dumb."  She nodded.  "Jigen and he are working alone for a while."  She nodded again.  "You knew?"

"Of course I knew," she snorted.  "I keep an eye on Xander.  I always will.  Part of that is you.  You overwhelm him.  You're considerate.  You ask his opinions.  He thinks you're like some saint or something.  It magnifies every single fault he thinks he has, real or imagined.  It makes him super-protective.  The babies do that as well," she admitted at his grimace.  "Xander will always be a fierce protector of innocence.  Those kids will be as important to him as these would have been.  They'll be just like they were his but someone else is raising them."  Lupin groaned.  "Goemon knows this though.  I'm pretty sure he's seen it."  She stood up again.  "The fact is, you've got two boys who have no idea what a real, caring, decent parent is like. I had that when I was created.  My mother loved me unconditionally.  My sister tolerated me.  All my created memories were of people who gave a damn.  Even Xander."  She grimaced.  "Then he became the one who needs help and it made him feel weak.  He's fighting to regain his strength and you're part of that.  As *he* feels he's stronger, he'll quit being so clingy and having the nightmares. Some will always stay.  He had a lot of them during the Glory fiasco.  He had even more after his eye was popped."

"Dawn?" Zenigata called.  "Who are you talking to?"

"No one," she called back.  "It's all about how he sees himself and no one can change that.  You can't force it, you can't encourage it.  Until he can meet his own standards for conduct and suitability, he'll always feel like he's a puppy trailing behind you."  She stepped back inside.  "That's my wisdom for the day.  Call when you want Marcus back."  She shut the door, letting him go.  She looked inside the cage and cooed.  "Hi, sweeties.  Boys," she called.  "Someone sent you something."  She walked into the living room, opening the cage.  "Ooh, a kitten and a ferret," she said, petting them both.  "Hi, babies.  Welcome to your new home."  The boys ran in, giving the pets a look of awe.  "This was just sent for you. Your godfather found them and nursed them back to health."  They came over, trying to grab and pet the creatures.

"No," Zenigata said firmly.  "You let them get used to you and to come to you.  You do not grab and cart them around like they were books."  The boys gave him a nod and let them sniff their hands.  "Was it the crook himself or some other crook?"

"Xander found them and nursed them back to health.  Lupin dropped them off so Xander couldn't pout and talk his way into keeping the kitten."  She gave him a look.  "We did talk."

"I heard.  You're right.  He should have realized that a long time ago."

"Why?  Xander's been a model student.  He's had to slow him down.  He can't understand.  You can't until you've witnessed a soul being destroyed."  He came over and gave her a hug.  "He needs someone patient.  Someone who lets him sniff them out, then moves on to let them pet him."

"He's got that in Jigen, but Lupin is overwhelming."

"They're out alone again," she admitted.  "I've got another lesson with Marcus.  Want to help?"

"That shit scares me," he said blandly.

"It does me too.  The only way to control the power is to be stronger than it.  You have to have near-perfect focus.  You have to be calm.  You have to know what the fuck you're doing and Marcus has no clue what he's opened up most of the time."  She grimaced.  "He does need a teacher.  He needs someone to chain his butt to a wall and teach him as a submissive first and then as a student.  Goemon had him there for a bit, but he slacked off when he thought Marcus was doing well."  She heard the pitiful whining and picked that one up.  "What's wrong?" she cooed.  The ferret wiggled over, sliding into Zenigata's jacket.  "Ooh, it likes you."

"It's a crook too, a natural one," he said, pulling it out to look at it.  "You're an odd ferret."  It squeaked at him.  "Yeah, fine."  He stroked it gently then put it down.  "Don't get too attached to me, I don't live here."

"You could," she offered.  He gave her a look.  "I know, you're an old fashioned guy who's getting older by the second waiting for files to be found while your team works on the other bad guys in the world."  He grinned and nodded.  "You're still going to be too old to move soon and so will I."  She pinched him on the tit.  "Grumpy.  I should make a native aphrodisiac for dinner."  She went to find them something to eat, and herself.  This was ridiculous.  It wasn't like they had sex, so she wasn't pregnant!

***

Jigen looked at Xander, seeing the much more comfortable young man he had been used to before.  "You okay?" he asked, sucking his first real cigarette in a long time.  He had made it halfway and he was determined to finish it.  Even if he was light headed.  Xander put his shot in front of him and sat down to read a comic book.  "Kid."

"I'm fine," Xander told him.  "I think it's good to get away from the others for a while."

"It is," Jigen agreed.  "We'll go back for the birth."  Xander grinned at him.  "Are you missing your creatures?"  Xander nodded, sighing in defeat.  "Maybe some day, when you can sit in a house all day."

"Statistically speaking, I won't live that long," he noted.

Jigen snorted.  "I'm well past the statistical average age for an assassin.  I'm training you to make it past there too."

"Really?"  Xander grinned at him.  "Think I could buy a condo?  Not something really huge or anything, just somewhere mine."  He didn't realize he was using the puppy eyes.

"Sure," Jigen agreed, realizing it would help.  "Anywhere in particular?"

"Somewhere in Europe. I don't want to be too far away.  Just not in everyone's lap."

He nodded. "I have a small one in Geneva. It's not much but it's mine."  Xander gave him a delighted look.  "We could swing by.  I don't share it with anyone."

"I'm not going to break your sacred space. Everyone needs something to call their own for their sanity."

Jigen suddenly got it.  The boy was still feeling like a student.  He didn't have an area of his own.  "I know a nice place," he told him.  "In Geneva, but it's across town from my place."  Xander put down his comic and turned to look at him.  "We can swing by there to let you look on our way to Italy."  Xander nodded enthusiastically.  "Do you want something you'll have to work on or something that you can move into?"  The boy drooled at him and he smirked. "Fine, we'll go look at the nearly condemned buildings first," he promised. "We're not due in Italy for a week."  Xander got up and hugged him as hard as he could.  "In return, I want you to come whine to me if you're feeling bad again.  Deal?"  Xander nodded.  "Good.  I hate those bouts of low self-esteem."

"It only happens when I figure I've been dumb later on," he reminded him. "It's much better."

"Yeah, but they still happen.  I'd rather eliminate them."  Xander snorted.  "Something funny?"

"I've always had some," Xander told him.  "It's almost back to the pre-Buffy days levels.  I used to have those sort of nightmares all the time."

"How did you deal with them?"

"I slept on the lawn," Xander told him.

"In Sunnydale?"  Xander nodded.  "At night?"  Xander nodded again, picking up his comic book.  "After you found out?"

"Once or twice.  Our houses were pretty touch-proof.  Everyone's scared of Buffy."  Jigen groaned and swatted at him. "Sorry, boss, but it does happen."

"Xander, your standards are set at the Mastery level.  Your grasp of when you've got a skill is when you're better than any one normal human can do.  That's not fair to yourself."

"I consider myself an excellent shooter," Xander defended.  "I fully admit I've finally grasped all that skill. I'm probably about as good of a swordsman as I'll ever be.  My accounting can still use some work and so can some of my languages because my accent sucks ass.  All of those are helpful on the job."

"And the computer programming books I've been seeing recently?"

"Part of my stash," he admitted.  "Nothing too hard.  I suck at technology.  I can't even take good pictures half the time.  All the ones in my albums are second and fifth tries."  Jigen nodded at that. "See, I am realistic to a degree, but I'm not good enough to call myself capable as anything more than a student in many ways.  I will always be Goemon's student.  I will always be a sucky lockpick so I'll always need to learn something there.  Education should be a lifetime process if you're going to retain it.  Only I suck at the book stuff."  He shrugged and went back to reading his comic.  "What other skills do you think I have?"

"Xander, you're Marcus' equal in the sword."  Xander snorted.  "You are."

"That's not saying much," Xander pointed out, looking at him. "He was possessed.  It's all that demon spirit in him.  They're trying to train his body to go with the new instincts.  That would be the same as if I trained my body to follow the hyena's instincts.  That's not training, that's all instinctual."

"You shoot the same way."

"No, I don't.  I had to struggle to get the target a number of times. My instincts and I are at odds over that too many times because of my eye."  Jigen nodded, allowing for that.  "I still consider myself a good enough gunmen to proclaim myself one, even though I do have that fault."

"But?" he asked.

"But, being with two others makes me fucking nervous."  Jigen snickered.  "It does.  Half of the time I wonder why in the fuck I'm there.  Lupin is as good as I am and you're still better with the special stuff.  I'm great with a rifle but this job doesn't routinely call for assassinations or long-distance shooting."

Jigen looked at him.  "You're with us because you raise the bar. You let us do things we hadn't been able to before.  Before, if we pulled a heist and it went wrong, it was me and Lupin shooting our way out and protecting Goemon, the treasure, and usually Fujiko because she was almost always the cause.  Now, we can shoot our way out, or have backup.  Now, we can protect the vulnerable members better."  Xander nodded, admitting that was true.  "You can also plan pretty decently.  That gives Lupin a sidekick as well, not just Goemon and me.  That means that we can go for jobs that are harder.  The things that we looked at and said 'maybe some day because we didn't have everything we needed."  Xander nodded, okaying that too.  "You're much more than a fuckbuddy to us."

"I knew I was to you," Xander told him.  Jigen grimaced.  "Seriously.  Every little once in a while I feel like I'm some extra security guy on Star Trek.  The guy in the red shirt who's there to be killed first so the others know when to hide."

"How long have you felt like that?" Jigen asked.

"Since about tenth grade."

"She made you feel that way?"

"She did, Giles did, even Willow did sometimes.  They all thought I was helpless because I was the normal guy. I wasn't a Watcher who could use magic.  I wasn't Willow, who was using magic and hacking, and I didn't have super powers.  Earlier in my life, I used to dream of becoming a rockstar, a guitar player for a major band.  Then she came and I realized that my dreams as a really little kid to be like Batman were going to have to come true if I wanted to survive and help.  Since I'm not genetically inclined to sit and watch the bad shit happen...."  He grinned.  "That is one thing I wish I had a better grasp of, technology.  It would be nice to be able to do more than surf the 'net and check my email."

Jigen gave him a look.  "The only things I ever surf for is porn."

"Yeah, but you're secure in that.  No one ever told you that you were slow and couldn't possibly understand something as hard as long division without a calculator."  Jigen groaned.  "Seriously, they wanted to put me into Special Ed in elementary school because I wasn't catching on.  Then it got figured out that I'm a hands-on learner and oh, shit, I can do math and read."  He shook his head, going back to his comics. "I'll learn what I want but I'll try to make it useful stuff for the most part."

"Hey, anything is useful.  Do you know what we can do with that accounting knowledge of yours?"  Xander shook his head.  "Think about infiltration.  Who gets noticed the most?"

"CEOs and people who brag.  Accountants and secretaries are right above the office cleaners on not being noticed," he agreed.  "I can do that," he agreed.  Jigen smirked at him.  "I knew I was good for things besides what my hands can do."

"Of course you are," Jigen agreed. "You take to roles very easily.  You took to Lavelle like it was someone you already had inside you."

"It was the hyena," Xander said dryly.  "It liked him."

"I'm sure it did," he said patiently.  "But think about it.  You took to being a Master within hours.  You were so natural they couldn't tell the difference.  You took to being a carpenter that way.  On some of our past jobs you've taken to being the decoy very well.  Plus, look how well you took to Sylvia."

"Yeah, I guess," Xander agreed.  "Maybe you're right.  That would be a unique place for me."

"It is," Jigen agreed.  "We already count on you for that.  Lupin won't go fully into a new personality.  He can play different parts, but you can tell it's Lupin doing it if you know him.  I can't see much of Lavelle in Sylvia, or you. At least now that you're not blushing at every third word."  Xander grinned at that.  "See, you are necessary.  I can't act worth a damn.  Goemon sure can't. Lupin tries but as soon as someone says something about him he goes off to praise himself.  He's got just enough over-confidence to overplay a role.  You don't.  You're almost like that one show, the one with the guy."

"Pretender?" he asked, frowning.  "I'm not that good."

"You are," Jigen said firmly.  "And then some.  You don't have that nasty habit of saving people from themselves."  Xander chuckled, shaking his head.  "You don't. Otherwise you'd be working in the system as a social worker or something."

"That would have taken college," Xander pointed out.

"What do you call what you're doing when you read all those textbooks?  You're getting more out of them anyway."  Xander tipped his head to the side.  "You've probably about earned a concentration in a few areas.  If you looked at some catalogs, I think you'd see I was right, Xander.  The only difference is that you're setting your own pace and doing it to yourself.  That and you're not paying a ton for it."

Xander relaxed and looked at him.  "Thanks, Jigen."

"You're welcome."  He reached over to snatch the comic book, putting it onto the table.  "Pack, we'll head to Geneva tonight.  Ever since you scared the thief who tried to take you while you were with the girl, Stockholm hasn't been that much fun."  He paused while Xander's phone rang.  "Go ahead.  It's probably Fujiko with another problem."

Xander opened his new phone.  "Yeah?"  He smiled and nodded.  "What's happened?"  He listened.  "Okay.  In the back of the dryer is a hose.  A big, silver hose.  Is it connected?"  He hummed while she went to check.  He smirked.  "Okay.  Have your big, strong guy pull it out and slip the hose back together.  He can use duct tape if he must. Yeah, that and to clean the lint filter.  See that door on the top?  Inside that is a pull screen.  Take it out, clean it off, toss away the fluff, then put it back like you found it.  Oh, and don't let the baby help.  He crawled into the dryer while I was setting it up."  He laughed.  "Sure thing.  No, we're heading to Switzerland.  No, I'm having a chocolate fit.  You too.  Be safe and call at the first pain so we can rush back.  Love you too.  Pinch Goemon for me and make him blush."  He hung up.  "The dryer wasn't drying well enough."

Jigen rolled his eyes.  "That woman," he said in disgust.  "Even I know what a lint filter is."  He stood up, grabbing his bags.  "You packed?"

"Nearly."  He grabbed his comic and put it into his laptop case.  That, his other briefcase, and the two bags, plus the gear bag were dragged out by him a few at a time.  He did a room sweep, finding the lost pack of cigarettes and lighter.  He handed them over and went to check them out.

Jigen looked at his old lighter and lit a second cigarette.  He took a deep inhale and felt peace hit his soul once again. "Finally," he said, checking the room.  He found a missing book that wasn't theirs but he decided Xander could have it anyway.  Sylvia might want it, most women seemed to have a bodice ripper somewhere.

***

Xander walked up to a house, smiling brightly.  "I love it," he said. Jigen groaned. "What?"  He turned to look at him.  "It's beautiful.  Or it will be by the time I'm done with it."

"Xander, it's all but condemned," he pointed out.

"That's easily fixed," Xander promised, looking in the front windows.  "We've had vagrants.  The wiring is ancient.  I'll have to redo all that and a lot of other stuff."  He walked around to the back, noticing the overgrown garden.  "Well, it's still in poor shape, but I could handle that."  He walked back around, finding Jigen sitting on the steps looking at his autoinjector for his smoke allergy.  "You okay?"

He looked up.  "I have had a whole pack and I'm fine," he said, handing it over.  "Keep that for me."  He lit another one as he stood up.  "It's a big project and you won't get home that often," he pointed out.  "Maybe something a little less massive?"

Xander pouted.  "But I love it.  It's pretty."

"It is, but it's going to take years of constant, hard work to fix it up, Xan.  Years which we'll be working thirty weeks out of the year."

"Okay," he sighed.  "I'll go with something smaller that needs less lovin'."  They continued to stroll along the street, looking at the old houses.  Some were really pretty.  Some were in good condition.  He wanted somewhere to wear his attention and affections out on.  Since he couldn't have a cat or a ferret, he needed something to love. At the end of the block was a big house.  It was run down.  It had faded, peeling paint. He walked up to the front door and knocked but no one answered so he looked inside.  "I think the owner died," he said.  "There's furniture."  He walked back down the path.  "The realtor said it was for sale but there's a lot of furniture."  He shrugged and moved on.  Each one weeded it down a little more.  Off a side street he found another one he liked, one that made him feel tingly, like his favorite gun did whenever he put it on.  He walked up to it and rang the bell, smiling at the owner.  "I heard this one was for sale. Can I look?" he asked in French.  She nodded, letting him inside.  The house was ancient, but it had known love.  It had a lot of wood paneling and some really nasty wallpaper. The upstairs had a beautiful view.  The basement could easily be turned into a gun range.  The back yard showed that the current owner loved flowers. Not really his thing but it could gradually be replaced with bushes and the like.  He looked at her.  "How much were you asking?"

"Sixty thousand, land included," she said hoarsely.  "I've got to move, son."

"I understand," he agreed.  "It needs some love but that's what I want in a house."  He pressed on a wall, feeling the solidness of it.  He shook her hand.  "Let me get my partner's opinion and we'll see in a few days," he told her.  She gave him a grateful smile and let him back out.  He caught her cat and handed it back.  "He's cute.  I travel too much to have one."  He gave her a sad smile and walked down to find Jigen.  He was dialing his phone.  "I like it," he admitted.  "The gardens are small.  There's no privacy fence or hedges."

"You can put those up," he pointed out, handing over the phone.  "Murami."

Xander hit the send button and listened to her greeting.  "Murami, how would you like to come to Switzerland for a few days?" he said happily.  "No, I want somewhere to call my own.  I'm looking for a mother's voice and Fujiko would want to decorate."  He shared her laugh.  "We'll put you up in a really nice hotel room.   There's one I *adore* but Jigen thinks it's a multi-year project and one I like a lot, but it needs some special attention."  He checked his watch.  "Yeah, sure.  We'll be waiting to pick you up.  Thanks."  He hung up.  "She said there's a 6 PM flight.   She'll be on it."

Jigen patted him on the back.  "Save what you can, Xander."

"That house just feels sad, Jigen.  People have loved in there and had to give it up. I can't hope to give it that sort of attention.  It needs a family."

"Yeah, but you could fix it up and sell it," he pointed out.  "Then buy somewhere else that needs it.  That way you keep your short attention span fixed."  Xander grinned at him.  "Already thought of that?"  He nodded.  "Come on, there's one last place I want you to look at.  It's closer to mine than these are."  He led the way back to the rental, getting in to drive.  He led him back to a converted house.  Xander gasped, getting out while the car stopped to walk up and look at it.  He smirked.  "I knew it."  He got out, going to help the boy look at it.  It was perfect for him.  It needed attention but it wasn't too big.  If he wanted to keep it apartments he could, but renovating it wouldn't be too hard.  "It's fairly modern," he explained.

Xander looked at him.  "It definitely needs some love.  What about the gardens?"  Jigen shook his head.  "None?"

"None.  No grass whatsoever."  Xander pouted.  "You really want a yard?"

"Yeah.  I want a place to get a tan and to sit under a tree and read if I want to.  I don't really like flowers, but I want some sort of gardenish space."

"I thought you were Californian, not Texan," he teased.

Xander saw something and went jogging up the street, only tripping once.  Jigen followed at a slower pace, knowing where he was going.  His apartment was next to it. It was a beautiful old house.  It didn't need that much work, just updating.  Xander frowned when he didn't see a sign.

"It's for sale," he promised.  "I know the owners."  Xander gave him a look.  "Really.  I live next door."

Xander sighed.  "I don't want to impinge on your free time."

"Xander, we'd see each other nearly every day anyway," he pointed out.  Xander gave him a blush.  "For that too," he agreed dryly, putting an arm around his shoulders.  "Come on, let's book Murami in.  We'll talk to her about this one and the other two."  He walked him back to the car, intentionally taking him to one of his favorite spots in the city.  Xander whimpered, pointing out another derelict.  "It's being torn down in two weeks," he said firmly.   He drove slower past one house and Xander did exit the car while it was moving this time to go look.  Someone was moving in, which made him frown.  Xander was chatting with the new owners so it must be good.  The guy wrote down something for him and handed it over, then shook Xander's hand.   Xander came back with the paper, grinning madly.  "What?" he asked.

"They were looking for the same thing," he shared as he got in.  "He had two more houses to check.  Can we?"  Jigen nodded, driving off to check them.  One of them turned out to be the old lady's house.  The other was a monstrosity.  Someone had ripped off the original roof and put on a steel one.  A cheap steel one. The porch was painted a gaudy and awful color.  The rest of the house looked like it had been a mismatch to begin with.  Xander was sighing in happiness though.

"This one?"

"Can I go look?"

"Only if you shoot the American with bad taste who did this."  He let him out of the car, watching as he went to look at it.  The old man who was in residence gave him a short tour, ending up out the side door.  Xander came back with a goofy grin, nodding.  Apparently he wanted to work a lot.  He got in and Jigen looked at it.  "I will not be visiting until you've painted that thing."

"It needs some external work, and the roof needs replaced totally, but the inside is spectacular.  All it needs is some sanding and polishing.  Plus some minor updating.   One room doesn't have any electricity.  One's got a single bulb.  The guy did archery for a living so the downstairs has a lot of holes in the wood, but it's nice in a lot of ways."  He gave it a look. "It probably needs a good four months of work with a crew, but a single person could have it done in a year," he admitted.  "Where do we stay in town when we're working?"

"Usually in a hospital. We don't do that much work here. That's more for people who do bank jobs."  He shrugged and they went to make reservations for Murami and themselves.

***

Murami looked at the house Xander really wanted and grimaced.  It was in bad shape. "Xander, in your opinion as a foreman of a carpentry crew, how long would this take a normal crew and how many people would that be?"

"A crew of five could get it done in about that many months.  Me alone it'll take a year of work," he admitted.  She gave him a look.  "I do take time off.  Plus we won't be doing anything soon."

She sighed and nodded.  "True.  It's your money but I wish you would get something that needed less work. This could be spectacular when you're done, but you'll never get to enjoy all the work you put into it."  His face fell and he began to pout.  "I know, that's why you invited me but I'm stepping on your dream.  What's this other place like?"

"It's got really ugly wallpaper, needs about the same level of work, without the roof, and it should belong to a family," he told her.  "You can feel the love that went into it, Murami.  It's not for a single guy to bounce around it.  I'd pervert it."

"Then let me do some looking," she said, giving him a knowing look.  "What are you looking for?" He pointed at the house they were looking at.  "Just like that?"  He nodded.  "Okay.  Give me a day?"  He nodded, driving her back to her hotel.  She hated to do it but someone had to be practical.  Xander would never spend the amount of time he thought at that house.  Jigen never spent more than a few weeks a year at his.  "Were you looking at it as an investment piece?  Something to sell later?"

"I might," Xander agreed.  "I do have a short attention span after I'm finished with something."

She made notes to help her.  "Jigen said you wanted something with a yard.  Do you want a real garden, just a lawn, or something in between?"

"I'd like to have hedges and bushes, not flowers," he explained.  "But I'd also like to have somewhere to do my katas and to suntan and all that good stuff.  I'd like some privacy as well."  She made a note of that.  "I'm good to do most carpentry jobs, but I know I couldn't do the roof itself on that one.  Not alone, not in the weather this city has."  She smiled at him.  "I was going to get some local guys for that.  Maybe even do some minor charity work."  She nodded.  "But that house was nearly perfect for me."

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's too damn big," he sighed.  "I don't need that much room for myself."  He drove her past the other house, pointing it out, smiling at the sold sign.  "That was the other."  She nodded and made more notes.   "I'd love something the size of Goemon's old house really.  Something kinda small, but with some lawn.  And it has to be in town.  I don't want to be stuck in the middle of nowhere like Heidi."

"That was Austria," she said blandly, giving him a pinch.  "Read the book, Xander, not the Cliff Notes."  He chuckled.  "Give me a day."  He nodded, dropping her off.  "Where are you going to be tonight?"

"Dinner.  Jigen invited me out."

"Keep your voicemail active," she told him. "I don't want to interrupt."  He grinned and went away, leaving her to make some calls.  She knew of a spot he hadn't looked and it was a beautiful house that did indeed need some attention.  Tacky Eurotrash had decorated it last time.  She went to call a realtor she knew, getting an appointment to see him early in the morning.

***

Murami let Xander into the only house that had met her criteria, though she had a list of six possibles for him if he didn't like this one.  It was beautiful outside, but inside....  Someone had tried to turn an ancient house into a modernist showplace.  It definitely needed to be scraped clean and redone.  But the wiring was sound, the roof was relatively new, and the walls were in good condition under the stark paint.  She patted his back when he shuddered.  "Someone gutted the poor thing and did this," she said quietly.  The owners were in the house somewhere.

"Hopefully they didn't pay a professional?"  She gave him a sad nod.  "Damn."  He shook his head, looking around.  His imagination already had some of it replaced, repainted, and the like.  He pressed on a wall, frowning.  "No studs."  He tapped, finding one finally, six feet too far away.  He walked into the library and whimpered.  His innate sense of justice was screaming at him to fix this poor thing or put it out of her misery.  He looked at Murami and she smiled, handing over the form.  "How much?"

"Ten thousand less than the other one," she told him.  "Which sold yesterday.  This is the current 'hot' city to renovate in."  She smiled and patted him on the back.  "It shouldn't take that long really.  You might be able to fix it in the downtime after Fujiko gives birth."  She led him through the rest of the house, showing him the recreation room and the converted attic.  "The only thing it doesn't have is somewhere for you to practice," she told him.  "I couldn't find regulations on that and Jigen knows someone."  Xander nodded, looking up at the high ceilings that had been mirrored over.  Then he looked at her.  "This is why I'm showing you this one," she said quietly.

He nodded.  "I'll take the poor thing and fix it pretty again," he said, taking her pen to sign the paperwork. "What do you think?  Blues or pale creams?"

"I like a combination," she admitted, leading him back to the car.  "Let me drive," she ordered before he could open the passenger's door for him.  "I know where the realtor is."  He nodded, letting her in to drive, then getting in himself.  "It's not necessary to open the door when the woman's driving, Xander."

"It is so," he said firmly.  "A real man opens all doors for women, even when they protest."

She chuckled, shaking her head.  "You're one of a kind, Xander."  She started the car, pulling into the light traffic.  "Also, you're four blocks away from a market area.  The nearest gunsmith is about two blocks.  The nearest grocery store is about three.  There's a *huge* bookstore about three more past that."  He grinned at that.  She paused outside a house, letting him see it.  He looked, then shook his head.  "You've really decided?"

"I've really decided because that was criminal and I hurt criminals.  They're legal targets to me," Xander said firmly.  He had her stop, pointing at one old building.  "Eventually, I want that."  She gave him a look.  "I know, it's huge.  I said eventually."  She smiled and nodded, pulling out again.  "Were there four or five bedrooms?"

"Five if you count the attic."

"Hmm."  He sat down to plan, liking his ideas but scrapping a few of them as not suiting him really.  "Will this realtor know a good contractor?  I do better with a list of tasks."

"Probably.  If not, he probably knows someone who does.  He's big in the whole renovation thing."  She pulled into his office, walking Xander inside.  "He felt sorry for the poor modernized one," she told him.  He smiled and clapped, saying something in German and shaking Xander's hand.

"French?" Xander asked.  The man nodded and switched, conversing easily with them.  The paperwork was started and he did know a contractor, his brother was one and head over the local guild.  That was enough references for Xander so he accepted his card.  Anyone that other contractors trusted was good by him.  He called the guy and set up an appointment for the next day, then went to find Jigen.  He found him on the range he had mentioned.  "Can I come do this here with you?" he asked.  "My new house won't let me have a range inside."

Jigen smiled.  "Found one?" he asked as he loaded a new clip into the automatic he was testing.

"Someone gutted a fifteenth century merchant's house and turned it modern."  Jigen dropped his gun, staring at him.  "Mirrored ceilings in the hallways.  Stark paint in primary colors.  Modern."  They both shuddered.  "My sense of justice wouldn't let me leave it like that.  The poor thing needs help."  Jigen gave him a pat and picked up the gun again.  "Switching?"

"Testing," he said, holding it out.  "It's light."

Xander felt it, then squeezed off a shot at the target.  "It's also off by about six inches.  Who made this?"  He looked at the brand name.  "Smith and Wesson is usually much better."  He handed it back, shaking his head.  "Tell them I said it's bad.  The recoil feels funny too."

"It's meant for a lefty," he said, firing it that way.  It was still off by the sight at the top and it did feel funny.  "Definitely not for me."

Xander handed over the new one he had found the other day, his new favorite.  "Try her."

Jigen examined it, nodding at the weight.  "Russian, I like."  He fired off a round, nearly purring at the efficient and easy trigger.  It was a good gun.  "The Russians couldn't run a country but they make excellent weapons."

"Plus, everything is stock.  I can replace from Smith and Wesson stock or from Luger stock. Baretta makes a similar one but I didn't like it as much."

"It is a good gun, Xander.  New favorite?"

Xander stroked it.  "Yeah," he said with a goofy grin.  "My new baby and my new house, things I sorta wanna keep."  Jigen laughed and punched him on the arm.  "You wanna come by tonight to do a driveby or would you rather wait until I'm done?  There are people living in it at the moment."

"I'll wait.  Show me at the official unveiling.  Take pictures so you can amaze people."

"I'm buying a condo for the group to use," he said dryly.  "My house."  He grinned.  "I'll tell Lupin eventually, when he finds out and asks."  Jigen laughed, nodding.  "Has he ever asked about yours?"

"Once.  I invited him but he's never shown up yet.  He will some day."

"The offer stands if you want to come sit in my backyard and do puzzles."  He shrugged.  "I've got an early meeting with the contractor who's giving me a list.  Did you want dinner or a snack?"

"I'm good," Jigen told him, giving him a look.  "Go bounce."  Xander laughed and jogged off, making him shake his head.  "That poor guy.  And with the Italian job coming up too."  He sighed and did another test fire of the bad gun, marking his opinions down.  He included Xander's too.  The company would want to know from such a source and it would only boost Xander's self-esteem even more.

***

Lupin looked up as Murami walked into his office. "What happened?"  She was their person to call if someone got too badly injured and was in the hospital.

She sat down across from him.  "Xander had a small accident.  He's grown attached to something."  He moaned.  "Nothing with fur, claws, or a beak. Though, with a patch over that one eye he would make a cute pirate," she said with a smile.  "He told me I could tell you that he just bought himself a place to hide when you got to be too overwhelming for a shy little man like him." Lupin gave her a look.  "His words, not mine."  She handed over a slip of paper.  "They're heading to Italy.  Xander said he'd call you in a few days to make sure you weren't pouting all alone in here."  He laughed, shaking his head.  "And that he'll be moving *some* of his stuff down there once it was done."

"It needs work?"

"Oh, you could say that," she agreed. "Slimy modernists took a fifteenth century house and made it theirs."  He winced.  "Exactly.  So he felt pity and decided his sense of social justice would not let it stand.  Hence, him buying a house.  It's actually very nice."

"I'm happy for him.  How close is it to Jigen's?"

"About half a city away," she admitted.  He smirked at her.  "Trust me, boss.  The boy needed this. He's like a whole new man right now.  That note is from Jigen.  I'm going to feed my cats now, so you have a good night."

He nodded, giving her a kiss on the cheek as he walked her out to her car.  He waved and looked at the note.  "I overwhelm him and make him feel less than useful?  Huh?"  He went inside to call his friend. "How do I do that?"  He listened to the explanation.  "Really?  No, I hadn't thought of that.  He did what!" he demanded.  "Even after he knew?"  He groaned.  "Fine, I'll accept the fact that he's got low...."  Jigen said something very important.  "So he has incredibly high standards, but he's being realistic.  Good to know.  Didn't we have that problem with Goemon?"  He smiled again.  "Sure. Have fun in Italy.  Tell him I'll want a tour when it's done.  Sure.  Have fun."  He hung up, walking to get himself a glass of water.  This house really did make him feel like he was rattling around.  He heard the bell ring and went to answer it, letting Marcus inside.  "You didn't have to do that."

"I did.  I fucked up what was my spot," he said quietly, looking at the floor.  "I understand now."  He looked at him and Lupin sighed, shaking his head at the blank eyes.  "I'm assured they will come back. This had nothing to do with my magic.  Someone tried to raid Dawn's house for the boys and I defended her.  Physically.  I received a bad blow to the head.  They said I would see again, some day.  So, yes, I did have to ring the bell, Lupin."

He led the boy to his study, hoping to find something for him to do.  He liked the kid, even when he was scared of him.

***

Xander got the call and winced. "Thanks.  Yeah, laters."  He hung up.  "Our files have been found," he announced.  "Our wants and warrants were gone, but we do have six new ones for ourselves at the moment."  Jigen grinned, lighting up another cigarette.  "I thought you were only doing a pack a day."

"I am."  He gave him a pat as he puffed.  "Anything else?"

"Gramps is on his way to Tunisia as we speak.  He knows we're here."

"Ah, just like the old days," Jigen said wistfully.  "Call Lupin, have him book us a flight out.  We'll do the job on the way to the airport."  Xander nodded, repacking their things while he talked.  Jigen looked around, then nodded. "I do like this life."  Not being wanted had been a nice vacation but he had missed the spontaneousness of being wanted.

The Crossover Saloon.

Xander 'Lavelle' Harris touched the artifact, then withdrew his hand.  The voice in his ear told him it would be fine but he was grimacing.  "Something's off," he hissed.  "It's charged."  He kicked open the containment case, hoping he could get it in there before it did him or someone some damage.  He stepped closer, touching it again.  "If this is like the hyena thing, I'm going to punish you, Lupin," he warned, earning a warm chuckle.  "I mean it.  I don't need possessed again."  He let both hands rest on it and then took a deep breath before increasing the contact and picking it up.  He winced as he felt himself be pulled away.  "Fuck me," he said bitterly.

***

Xander looked around, then up at Hogwarts. This summer sucked too much.  There wasn't anything for him to do.  The kids were too excited about starting school again.  Not even his usual playmates were around.  The gryphons were all in nesting mode and he wasn't really needed for that.  Draco was at his house pouting at his own kids.  This summer definitely sucked.  He turned and found a portal opening behind him.  "Uh-huh," he said dryly, tapping his fingers on his hips.  He pulled his wand, casting a telltale on it to see if he could figure out what it was.

"What are you doing!" an angry voice called from closer to the school.  "Get away from that before you get sucked in!"  Severus Snape tried to pull the boy away but he couldn't quite reach him.  "Alexander!" he snapped.  "Now, Harris-Weasley.  Before I have to tell your son."

Xander frowned back at him.  "Let my son continue his dancing around," he said, turning back around. "It's not dark magic.  I'd know about that."  He stepped closer, across the threshold of the portal.  "I'll be back in two days, tell George I'm okay," he called, waving as he was taken off.

Severus growled and went to find Xander's son.  The boy was as much a trouble magnet as his father.  Besides, he and his cousins could cure nearly any problem if they worked together, especially with him and Draco helping them.

***

Alex 'Xander' 'Carnage' Dumass looked at the new artifact.  It was a pretty thing. It was written on in a language he didn't really understand. It was like it was ancient Norse, but not quite.  He tipped his head to the side, sighing in frustration.  "Draco!" he called.  "This thing needs a Philip touch I think."  He grabbed his wand as he stood up, intending to cast a translation spell.  His consort veela walked in, giving him a dirty look before taking it away.  Draco was fading as he walked so Xander grabbed at him.  No one was taking his consort anywhere!  So they both had disappeared by the time his other apprentices came up to check on them.

Dawn Summers looked around, then grimaced.  "Where did he go this time?  He won't get out of helping with the laundry that easy!" she said, stomping off.  The male apprentices wisely got out of her way, especially her boyfriend Ron.

Harry looked at Ron and mouthed the three little letters that made most men shudder in fear.  "PMS?"

Ron nodded quickly then went to check the work room.  "The artifact's gone too," he announced, backing out of there. Something was definitely off in that room.  He grimaced and touched his arm, bringing Methos apparating and running.  "They're missing, the artifact is gone, and the magic feels wrong."

Methos checked the magical currents, grimacing.  "How did they get hold of that thing!" he demanded.

"Someone sent it to them," Harry said helpfully.  "Tipsy said it wasn't a problem."  He shrugged when his Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher looked at him.  "We don't know," he admitted.  "They sent it with an owl in a containment case for him to identify.  He's been locked in there all morning."

"HARRY!" Dawn bellowed.  "I CAN HEAR YOU!"

"Sorry, Dawn, but they're missing," Ron called, rolling his eyes as he went to calm her down again.  He even broke into his sacred chocolate frog stash to make her feel better.

Methos grimaced.  "Fine.  It's a teleporting artifact.  Any magic near it would set it off, even if you only had latent gifts.  It goes to a bar, I wouldn't worry.  It'll bring them back in two days."  He walked out, going to report to the rest of the group.  They needed to know the hazardous ones were missing...again.

Harry glanced in the room, then followed him.  It would be more interesting and informative than watching an empty room.

***

Lavelle found himself outside a set of doors.  Big, thick, heavy oak doors.  "Valhalla?" he said, looking around.  "And not a valkyrie in sight."  He pushed open the door, walking inside.  The bartender smiled at him.  "Valhalla?" he asked.

"We've been called that before.  Welcome to the Crossroad's Bar."  He waved behind him at the extensive liquor collection.  Lavelle put his wallet on the table and the man gave him a look.  "Don't worry about it.  It's been provided as a safe spot for weary travelers to rest."

"Demonic?" Lavelle asked.

The man snorted.  "Not hardly."  He leaned closer.  "Does this look like a well, son?"  Xander grinned and pointed at a bottle.  "You sure?"

"Sure am.  I haven't had any rootbeer in a while.  And a shot of Crown Royal too."  He pulled the bug out of his ear and stuck it into his pocket.  Since it wasn't working, why wear it and give himself more of an earache? The shot and drink were put in front of him.  "Thanks.  So, what happened?  I was removing this artifact and suddenly I'm here without it."

"Little urn looking thing, felt magical?" a familiar voice said from behind him.

Lavelle looked back.  "Huh.  Great, an alternate universe me.  Vampire?"

"Wizard actually.  You?"

"Assassin and gunman for one of the world's greatest thieves."  He held out a hand.  "I go by Lavelle in my world."

"Alex Dumass was my original name but I deaged and turned into Xander."  He shook it and sat down.  "Can I have a coke?"  His consort stomped in and tapped him on the back.  "Sit, Draco.  Now.  We've got a damn big riddle."  Draco sighed and sat on his other side.  "Dear, does he look familiar to you?"

Draco looked around his consort at the other Xander.  Then he groaned and shook his head, hitting his consort as hard as he could on the arm.  "Asshole!  See what you do when left alone!"

Alex grinned at his boy.  "Behave or I'm masturbating tonight."  Draco quit, giving him a cold look.  "Thank you."  He looked at Lavelle.  "Little urn?"

"About a foot high," he agreed.  "Pure gold, had funny things carved on it. Lupin said it was an important artifact."

Alex frowned.  "Lupin?"

"The Third?" Lavelle suggested.

"He may not exist in his world," the bartender pointed out.  "Not everything is perfectly similar.  Oh, the vampire you is upstairs.  Someone thoughtfully chained him up when he appeared last month."

"Cool."  Lavelle slammed his shot then sipped his rootbeer.  "Should we prepare for another one?  I thought magic worked in orders of threes.  Or at least it does in my life."

"Ours too," Alex admitted dryly.  "Okay, where did our lines converge?  Besides the obvious," he admitted with a grin.  "Come on, I wanna know."

Lavelle looked at him.  "Did you get a magic addicted Willow killing?"  He gaped and shook his head.  "Glory?"  Alex nodded.  "Probably somewhere between there.  In my world, Willow went bad, went good, the town was destroyed, they moved to Cleveland, I stayed in LA to help Wes and Gunn with Angel's issues.  Wesley came up with a problem where the only course he saw was giving me to a demon and convinced Willow to help.  She's dead now," he said, sipping his soda.  "You?"

"In ours, Rosenburg's still dark," Draco informed him.  "Xander is a wizard, a powerful force for the side of light."  He looked this new Xander over, forcing himself not to drool.  "The silver hair?"

"Demon."

"Oh, wow," Alex said, touching it.  "Cool.  Or not, I guess, but still pretty neat.  So you're not the white knight?"

"Nope, turned my back on it.  Now I hunt bigger bad guys with Lupin and Jigen."  He groaned and put his head down. "Jigen's gonna kill me.  He was against us going on this job."  He sat up and looked up.  "You might wanna give me a break, okay?  I don't need this crap."  Someone behind them coughed and a light tapping was heard.  Both Xander's looked back, seeing an older Xander standing there.  "Okay, so the requisite third.  Great.  What are you?"

"Xander Harris-Weasley," he said, smiling at them.  "You?"

"A less magical version of you," Lavelle said, sipping his soda.  "Sit.  If I ache most days, you gotta be worse."  He looked at Dumass.  "I know why I have magic that works.  I know why you have it.  You were deaged?"  Alex nodded, grinning at him.  "How?"

"We're not really sure about that," Alex told him.

"Deaged?"

"Yeah.  I'm Alex Dumass," he said, smiling at him.  "You married a Weasley?  Which one?"

"George.  You married Malfoy?  We're together there?"

"Yeah.  Draco is my consort."

"Cool.  I'm gryphon-born."

Alex pouted. "That's no fair!  That's a myth in our world!"

"I can't believe you had bad enough taste to marry the pranking idiot," Draco muttered, looking at Lavelle.  "What is a gunman?"

"I'm an assassin, kid.  I kill people, shoot things, kill demons."

"And so on and so forth," Xander said.  "I can't believe one of me and Draco made it.  I like my Draco, but then again I helped straighten him up."  He accepted his drink, taking a sip.  "Thanks.  I haven't had a butterbeer today."  He looked at Draco.  "How old are you?"

"Seventh year."

"Ah, see, in *my* world in your seventh year, Voldie attacked the school and I helped Harry take him out."  Alex gave him a gaping, shocked look.  "Yeah. A powerful decreation spell."

"Those are myths," Lavelle told him.  "None of the hosts of hell said anything about them."

"You swear allegiance to the dark powers?" Xander asked.

"No, Wes gave me to one.  It wasn't my choice.  I just got intimately acquainted with them."  Both other Xander's shuddered.  "Who's George?  He sounds familiar."

"We might be a book in your realm, I've heard we are in others," Xander admitted.  "Heard of Potter?"

"Shit," Lavelle said, grinning at him.  "You're from that 'verse?  Okay then.  Cool."  He held out a hand.  "Good to have one of us still being a pure knight.  What're you doin' there?"

Xander shook his hand. "I teach demonology."

Alex choked.  "Excuse me, you *teach*?" he asked.  Xander nodded, grinning.  "Why?"

"Because otherwise I'd have lost George. Besides, I like the little kids.  I get to pick on Sev and Tara.  I even get to pick on my kids and Draco's kids while they're in my classes.  Plus Harry's and Ron's in the tower.  You?"

Alex shook his head.  "I'm, like, twenty-two, Xan."

"Wow, I remember that age," Xander sighed fondly.  "George babied me most of that year."  He grinned at Lavelle.  "You?"

"Um, closer to thirty-five," he admitted.

"Hmm.  Then you're closer to my age.  Let's see, we had Iggy when I was twenty, and he's just finished his fifth year.  So I'm thirty-three?  That doesn't sound right," he complained.  He shook his head.  "I let George deal with that stuff.  I only remember the kids' birthdays and his."  He shrugged. "So, white-haired Xander, what do you do again?"

"I go by Lavelle.  It'll make it easier," he said dryly.  "I'm a gunman, assassin, and part- time thief.  I run with Lupin."

"Hmm.  Heard of him.  The Ministry had to go obliviate him last year because of something he found."  He shrugged.  "I guess it works for you."  He touched the white hair.  "Have something to do with this?" Lavelle nodded, raising a finger for another shot.  "Sorry.  I've got enough nightmares of my own, didn't mean to bring up yours."

"I still can't believe one of you married a Weasley and procreated," Draco said with a shudder.

"Hey!  I'll have you know *you* got pregnant in my world," Xander sneered.  Draco went pale and shook his head.  "Yeah.  Twice," he said smugly.  "You were so cute!  So round and happy while you waddled around and pouted for attention!"  He pulled out his wallet, flipping through the pictures.  "Here, you."  He handed that one over.  Draco whimpered and pushed it away, turning green as he looked away.

Alex looked at it.  "Wow.  I know an artifact that can do that, but that's really cool!"  He looked at the other Xander.  "We should switch spells."

"Okay," Xander agreed happily.  "Lavelle, do you use any magic?"

"The demon left me open to use his powers," he admitted.  "Janus and I are about to go round-and-round again."  He took a long drink.  "The bartender said the vampire us is upstairs.  We should do something about him."

"Can I sic him on Voldie?" Alex asked.  Draco gave him a look like he was insane.  "It's a vampire me, Draco.  It'd be cute!" he said happily.

"No!" he said, shaking his head and standing up.  "No way in hell!  No way in bloody hell for that matter!"  He looked at Lavelle.  "You deal with him."

"Sure," Lavelle agreed, grinning at him.  "I like problems."  He slammed that shot and sipped his new rootbeer.  "Yo, any more of us scheduled to show up?"

"Well, a few months back we did have a really tantalizing you," he admitted.  "He's been here a few times with his Oz and his Methos and Ray."  He shrugged.

"Methos?" Alex asked, perking up more.  "Cool!  The Prof is everywhere!"  He looked at Lavelle.  "Do you guys have immortals?"

"Nope.  You, Xan?"

"Not that I know of.  Huh."  He shrugged.  "I guess it's okay enough.  Damn, I need Iggy here, he'd *love* this.  It'd make his summer.  My son's a potion's master in training," he bragged.  "In the Royal Academy's prodigy program."  Draco and Alex both gaped at him.  "Yeah, Sev is usually somewhere near him these days.  George keeps giving him looks like he's not sure how he came to be, but we figure it was our brains firing on high.  Does your George run a joke shop too?"

"Yeah, in Diagon," Alex told him.  "Yours?"

"Hogsmeade.  We run specials for the kids all the time.  We've even talked about putting in a new tunnel to our basement but we figured the kids would sneak out.  Draco's oldest two are kickers that way.   Oooh, do you fly too?"

Lavelle got out of the way.  "You two chat," he told them.  "I only wanna fly in a plane," he told them as he headed for a corner table.  He put the earbud back into his ear.  "Yo, Arsene, you still there?" he hissed.  "I'm in the land of strange.  Two of me are here and they're in the Harry Potter 'verse.  Don't make me go to a con like that," he pleaded.  "Even if it would be amusing."  He sat down, lounging in the seat.  Then he got up and headed up the stairs to find the vampire him.  He heard him roaring and walked in.  "Shut up!" he shouted over the yelling.  The vampire gave him a smug look. "Keep it up, there's two other uses downstairs.  If you're willing to behave, I'd rather have a less-nice version of me to chat with.  You up for that or should I stake you now?"

"You, stake me?" he sneered, moving closer in his cell.  Lavelle moved closer and undid his dress shirt, making him wince.  "What the hell!"

"Demon. Wesley.  High-Prince of a section.  Got it?  I can kill you by stripping."  He undid the lock, letting him out. "Behave or I'm staking you with their wands."  He led the way back downstairs, going back to his seat, finding a pint of blood in a beer stein and another drink in his.  "So," he said once they were comfortable.  "How did you get here?"

"Willow," he said bitterly. "Not even my little fiend."

"Hmm.  Jigen killed her in my world.  She helped do this to me."  He pushed some of his hair back, noticing Alex's Draco was staring at him.  He nodded him over, used to the groupies by now.  Draco sat near them.  "So, are you still an ass like in the books?"

"Not all the time," he said smugly.  "Xander initiated a right of reparation and took me in."  He sipped his drink, looking at the vampire Xander.  "You're not that scary.  Then again, I don't find Angel or Spike that scary either."

"Hang with them do you?" Xander sneered.

"Sometimes. My mate likes to taunt Angel sometimes.  Sent him a house elf strip-o-gram."  He heard choking and looked back as his Xander and the other one came over.

"Little boy, in my world, Angel is our puppy and willing slave," Vampire Xander told him.  "I turned Willow and we're training him the right way this time."  Draco shivered and his Xander put an arm around his shoulders to protect him.  "I see the possessive traits were passed on."

"Yes, and we're all still hunters," Xander told him, sitting down next to Lavelle.  "Scoot," he ordered.  "Us old guys gotta stick together."  He shifted back some.  "I wear a tie?"

"Only to work.  Sometimes we put on a choker and turn into a girl and have to wear a dress too," he said dryly, grinning at him.

"Okay, now that tops mine," Vampire Xander admitted. The others nodded.  He looked at Xander Harris-Weasley. "You're not totally human either."

"I'm gryphon-born."

"Huh?"

"As in way back in the gene pool there was a big, fluffy, troublemaker," Xander said dryly.  "About twenty-six generations back actually."

"Eww," Draco said.  "And I thought being part veela was nasty."

"It is," Xander told him smugly.  "Get that urge a lot?"

Alex chuckled.  "And he makes very pretty music when he does," he agreed smugly. "George?"

"Most of the time," Xander admitted.  "Though he's paying a lot of attention to the shop these days."

"We'll have to warn Tipsy about that," Alex told Draco, who nodded, too shocked to do anything else.

"Tipsy?"

"Tipsy 'Tip Top' Ramvette.  Irish witch the twins married.  She's having twins or so," he said smugly.  "Their mother is not pleased.  She graduated with her."

Xander snickered.  "I've got to tell Forge and Gred that.  They'll shit bricks."  He shook his head, looking at Xander.  "You?"

"Oh, I've got one for each part," he said smugly. "Lupin and Jigen are very sweet to me."  He pulled out his wallet and showed off the picture he had hidden in there.  Lupin had told him not to put a picture of them in there in case he got captured but he couldn't resist this one.

"Holy shit, he's rich," Vampire Xander said, snatching the wallet to look at.  "How?"

"I'm a thief, assassin, and gunman for Lupin the Third," he said smugly.  "Naturally trained thanks to patrolling.  They've helped me heal so much."

"Wow."  He handed it back after looking at the men.  "They're cute.  They ever crossover?"

"Jigen really only likes women and Lupin's ...horny," he said finally with a grin.  "I'll take them however I can get them.  They make me pass out all the time.  As a woman apparently I've got a rare condition that allows for mini orgasms that build up to a big, huge, satisfying one."

The other Xanders whimpered.  The two wizards looked at each other.  "Can we?" they asked.

Xander considered it. "I haven't seen one of those spells yet, but then again.... I could have Iggy go look in the gryphon library.  It's extensive."

"I'm a curse breaker. I've only run into a curse that did that and it was used on sacrifices.  How?" Alex asked Lavelle.

"Deermere choker."  He grinned at their groans.  "A stupid little chaos person had me hostage and put it on me to make me quit fighting him.  We got to keep it while Ethan killed him."  He sipped his rootbeer. "Ethan's made a duplicate for his own personal pleasure."

"Ethan," the wizards said happily.

"Only if you're going to be wearing it," Draco said firmly. "And if I can use it to put on Severus once or twice," he admitted with a wicked grin.   The wizards laughed.

The vampire looked at the other killer.  "Think they've got a dark side?"

"We do," Alex assured him. "Or at least I do."

"I have one but it's more brooding and angsty these days," Xander told him.  "I have kids, I can't lose my temper and run off to fight anymore.  My legs and the burns proved that."

"Burns?" Alex asked.

"Burns from calling earth lightening to wipe out a lot of Watchers to protect Ron's triplets.  He had them with Buffy."

Alex choked.  "Oh, Goddess, that's a bad mental image," he gasped.  "Ron and *Buffy*?  I think Ron and Dawn are bad enough!"

"Dawn?" Xander asked.  The vampire was giving him a quizzical look.

"Um, from the whole Glory thing?"

"Okay, and again, huh?" Xander asked.

"Glory?" Vamp Xander asked.

"Hell Goddess who tried to take over the town," Lavelle told him.  "We got a newbie into the group.  Dawn.  She's a ball of mystical energy.  In mine she's a former thief who's dating and teasing a cop twice her age."  He took another drink. "Yours?"

"Ron, she's a student," Alex told him.   "She's a thief in yours?"

"Yeah, remember the shoplifting?"  Alex nodded.  "Well, she got worse.  She loved to hit the Met in New York when she was working."

"Odd," Xander said, shaking his head.  "There are more differences than I thought."  He sipped his butterbeer. "I thought Spike with a baby phoenix was odd."

"It is," the others agreed.

"You have a phoenix?" Alex moaned.

Xander beamed at him.  "My daddy bird mated with Dumbledore's mommy.  We've since broken the whole 'there's only one' myth.  We've got tons of babies.  One of the first clutch adopted Draco's oldest daughter by Ginny at birth.  Chewed off her umbilical cord and everything."  He pulled out his wallet again at Draco's return to being green.  "Ah-ha!"  He pointed at his favorite picture.  "That's Simone.  She's Draco's oldest with Ginny.  The blond with her is Denver, her half-brother.  He's a few months younger.  The dark-haired one is Iggy, George's and my son.  Simone plays beater, Denver and Iggy play chaser.  Plus, Draco's oldest little girl, the youngest of the older group, plays wicked seeker and so does Harry's son.  He's playing on the Gryff team now.  Ron and I co-head Gryff."  Alex gave him a 'huh' look.  "You're not a Gryffindor?"

"I started out in Slytherin but they kicked me out for being a slut," he admitted.  "I was changed to a Gryff as a sixth year."  Xander's mouth fell open. "Did you attend?"

"No, we came over to help with an emergency.  Tara, Willow, and I went back to teach.  Tara and I stayed while Willow stomped off after having her son.  She's a Watcher and with our Wes.  Tara's with Sev now."

Lavelle snorted.  "He a backstabber there too?"

Xander nodded.  "Sometimes.  Ron's daughter is a potential Slayer."

"All ours were activated," Lavelle told him. "Buffy's hogging them."

Xander grinned, this was so cool.  "In ours, Buffy retired, got pregnant with triplets by Ron, then Giles killed her."

"Ours got pregnant too, but she's not dead yet," he sighed, sipping the shot that appeared in front of him.  "I guess I'm happy with my life but you guys are really ecstatic."

Alex patted him on the hand.  "Do you like what you do?"  Lavelle nodded.  "Are you happy with your life?"  Lavelle nodded again.  "Then the only thing between us is the magic.  We've got wands and you get to suck power out of Hell directly.  Xander's really powerful, I'm really powerful in some ways, and you're powerful in a lot more reliable ways.  I doubt you have to have meetings with official-shaped people."

Xander grinned.  "No, not often. I've had a few over what I do for a living but usually they're cut rather short."  He heard a burst of static and pressed on his earbud.  "Guys?  Can you hear me?"  He listened but there wasn't anything on the other end. "I guess it's just atmospheric static or something," he sighed.  "Jigen's gonna be pissed. It's his night with me tonight.  Plus, Lupin's got to be pacing and smoking up a storm."  He suddenly snickered.  "I wonder if Goemon's been called yet."

"That name I know," Vamp Xander admitted.  "He's a mystical trainer in the East."

Lavelle gave him a look.  "In ours he's a samurai who helps us now and then.  His kids are nuts. One is the champion hider, not even Lupin can find him sometimes.  His daughter, Lotus, is pretty neat.  She's a good version of Willow, only she scowls like her father.  She's very careful with everything she does.  I can't wait to see their third one," he sighed. "I'll have to give my vampire speech soon," he said fondly, smiling at the vampire him.  "Lotus will love that, she managed to call a plant demon the other day but her brother drove it off."

Xander laughed.  "Iggy did the same thing," he admitted.  "So did Simone.  Those three working together are enough to rule the world some days."  He rolled his eyes.  "The kids would *so* love this situation."

Alex shook his head.  "I can't believe I like kids."

Vampire Xander looked at him.  "Me either," he admitted.  "Kids are good snacks, but really."

Lavelle swatted him.  "Touch their kids, watch me work."  Vampire Xander stared into his eyes, then nodded, looking away.  "Good.  Remember that."  He got comfortable again.  "I wonder what the guys are doing."

"Probably worrying," Xander told him. "I'm sure George is by now."

***

Severus stormed into the shop, startling the twin behind the counter.  "Your husband was sucked through a portal," he announced.

Fred blinked.  "George!  Xander's doing it again!" he yelled.  "Nephews, niece!"  Everyone came out of the back and the workroom.  "Tell them," he said, getting comfortable for this story of Xander-stupidity.  They were always amusing.

Severus looked at George.  "Your mate was sucked through a portal.  We've checked it, it's barely open.  Apparently it's the fault of a portal artifact.  He's at some sort of crossroads."  George leaned on Simone's shoulder, weathering her pats.  "He let it find him.  He was staring at it when I caught him."

Iggy coughed.  "Is this a situation we can solve?" he asked his mentor.

"Hopefully," Severus said dryly. "Unless you want to teach his class instead of mine."

Iggy grimaced.  "No thanks.  Guys?  Let's go."

"Pack," Fred reminded him. "You have no idea what's on the other side.  It could be dangerous."

"Wands, swords," Simone ordered.  "One schoolbag of stuff."  They nodded, heading to do that, Iggy gathering his necessary things and doing a quick run to the herb store in case. They gathered a half-hour later, looking at the adults.  "Okay, let's go."  Snape gave her a look.  "Now," she suggested.  "Before Daddy hears and comes too."  Snape shuddered and led them back to the portal.

***

Lupin tossed down his headphones.  "Something just went wrong!" he announced, heading inside.  Jigen followed him with Goemon trailing behind them.  They found the spot where Xander should be, but nothing was there except the containment case.  "Fuck me!" he said bitterly.  "What happened!"

"I believe we should have done more research," Goemon said firmly.  "The boy said it felt wrong."  He went back to the van, checking the audio feed.  He smiled and laughed, bringing the others back at a run. "It is still active.  He's in some sort of bar where realities meet."

"Only Xander," Jigen said dryly.  He took out the headphones and inserted the plug for a set of speakers.  They listened as Xander met himself.  "Shit, two of them?  That's got to be fun!"

"This one's a wizard," Lupin told him, grabbing his arm as he listened to the obvious white lighter.  "We've got to go get him.  It's too dangerous there for him.  They're all good guys still.  They could hurt him a lot."

"Dawn!" Jigen yelled.

"Fucking busy, thank you," floated through the air.

"Xander's been snatched, brat. Come help!"

She appeared, wiping her hands off.  "You had to bother me while I'm pulling bits of stuffed animal out of the garbage disposal?" she asked.  Goemon gave her a pained look.  "Not Ishi's, G-man, don't worry.  It was one of Jerry's old ones.  He thought it was like cremation and since it was so badly injured it was obviously dead."  She grinned at him. "Just wait, you too can get odd ....."  She stopped, listening to the staticky feed. "He's where?"

"It's a bar," Lupin told her, sounding upset. "There's more than one of him there.  They're still good.  They're wizards."  She swallowed. "Can you get there/"

"I can't, but I know where you're talking about.  I know who can though.  Anya!" she snapped.  Anya, now a wish demon of a higher class, appeared, grinning at her.  "Xander's been taken to the Crossroad's.  Can you help these guys retrieve him?"

"Sure, for a price," Anya told them.  "To be named later."

"Name it now," Jigen encouraged coolly.  He didn't like Anya.  They had spent some time together before.

"Fine," she said, pouting at him.  "I miss my Xander lovin'."

"You can ask him yourself," Lupin snorted.

"No, I don't believe I want her near him," Jigen retorted.  He looked at his friend.  "I'm not sharing with you *and* her."

Goemon looked at Anya.  "Take me," he said quietly.  "That is something you will have to approach him about."  She nodded and they snuck off.  The other two were still arguing.

***

Methos slapped his hand on the table.  "I've been there.  It's not that bad, but it is a problem.  We will need them back sometime soon."

"How long were you there last time?" Ron asked.  Methos looked at him.  "You said you had been there.  How long?"

"It varies on the will of the urn," he said dryly.  "If it comes back in two days, you get back in two days.  If it comes back in fifty years, you come back in fifty years."  Ron shuddered.  "So we do need to find a way to reopen the portal and go find them.  We can leave the stupid thing there, it's not necessary and I'll personally write a letter to the finder to tell them so."  He paused as a portal opened, giving the children coming through a long look.

"Who're you?" Harry asked.

The young dark-haired male looked up from his reading.  "Okay, we went to where a version of dad is," he noted.

"Is your dad a Xander?" Fred asked, looking at Simone.  "Because you're obviously family."

She beamed.  "I'm Simone Malfoy-Weasley, this is my half-brother Denver Malfoy, and our cousin Ignatius Harris-Weasley."  They looked stunned.  "Okay, so we know we're not at home, they didn't bow at you, Iggy."  Iggy snorted, rereading the section on traveling.  "Sorry.  Iggy's one of those people that if there's a book, he either has a copy or knows where it is and has probably read it already."  She took a seat, looking at the obvious leader since he was standing.  "How did your Xander get taken?"

"A small gold urn," he said, looking at her.  "You're still a child."

She snorted and got up, grabbing him and flipping him over her hip.  "Of course I am. It's not like Uncle Xander ever trained me," she noted dryly.  "It's not like I don't play beater and nearly kill pro-players in the new fun league either."  Harry and Ron both moaned.  She smiled at them. "You two are cute."

"Mine, bitch," Dawn said, glaring at her.  "Find one of the others."

She laughed.  "I don't need that sort of thing.  I'm only a fifth year."  She went to take the book from Iggy.  "Reset it again," she suggested.

"If I could find the resonating magical signature I'd have an easier time," he told her.

"They disappeared from the workroom and the magic still feels odd," Harry offered.  Iggy beamed at him and he swallowed.  "Of course, we'll want to go with you.  He's our trainer."

"Sure," Simone agreed.  "The more the merrier.  Workroom?"  The whole group followed them, shivering when Iggy laughed and smiled, pulling his wand.  "Iggy, foreign magic?" she hesitated.

"Chaos is eternal and everywhere," he reminded her.  "I am gryphon-born more than you, dear."  He had found where the other portal was and it was still active.  He could reopen it.  He did so, finding two muggles and another woman complaining.  "Hmm.  Not quite."  He closed it and reopened it, but it reopened without his help.  Then the woman drug through the two men, staring him down.  "Get out of the way.  You're interfering with the magical signature."   She drug them off to the side.  "You play with muggles?"

"Yeah.  In our world, most people are that way."  She took Iggy's hand, creating it with him.  "There!"

***

Goemon looked up at the doors, then back at his guide.  "Thank you."

She snorted.  "The vamp Xander is in there, I wanted to talk to him," she said smugly, opening the doors and running inside.  She stopped and the bartender pointed to the side.  She squealed and went to pounce him, then backed off and bowed to the other.  "Consort, I'm sorry to act as such in front of you," she said, not looking to see which one it was.

"Take him, have fun," Lavelle said dryly.  The vampire him gave him a look so Xander showed him that mark.  The vampire him bent to bite him, then spit it out, rinsing out his mouth with the butterbeer, which got another odd look.  "Told you so.  Drink your own blood and take my little wish demon there somewhere fun."  The vamp's eyes lit up and he grabbed Anya off the floor, taking her back up to his cage for some fun.  "Goemon," he said, saluting him with his drink. "Sit, chat, it'll be odd but you're used to it.  Lotus would love this."

He cleared his throat.  "I have no doubt of that, but I'm not encouraging such thoughts in her head."  He sat down, looking at the other two before looking at Xander.  "The feed is still active."

"Lupin throwing a fit?"  Goemon gave him a look so he grinned.  "It's not my fault this time.  He can't yell at me about this.  He told me to go get the magically charged artifact and I did."

"I doubt he'll be yelling," Goemon said dryly.  "I won't expect you to be walking correctly either."  He found a cup of sake in front of him and looked around.

"It's provided for our comfort," Xander told him, grinning at him.  "You're really a samurai?"  Goemon nodded.  "Wow.  That is cool."  He looked at Lavelle.  "Do you study under him?"

"And work beside him.  Guys, this is Goemon.  Goemon, this is Alex and his Draco snuggly, and Xander from a similar universe."  Goemon nodded, picking up his drink to sip.  "How are we getting back?"

"I had hopes Anya would."

Xander winced.  "Possibly not.  Not since she's getting so grandly laid."  He shrugged it off.  "Oh, well, I guess we'll have to deal with the vampire me for a while at home." Goemon gave him a look.  "I didn't mean *home*.  I meant our version of reality.  Anya was always a slutty and greedy woman and he'll do what she wants that I wouldn't."  He sipped his beer.  He had switched on the last round.  "Who else is going to try a rescue attempt?"

"Iggy's a book lover," Xander told him.  "If there's a book he can probably find it and go through it by tonight."  He looked at Alex.  "Your friends?"

"Most likely my apprentices," he admitted.  "They're only on break this week because I'm there and have something new and neat to work on. They could be sent back to school if I'm gone too long."  He sipped his own beer, stroking Draco's back to keep him calm.  "If so, then we've got some impressive brains and muscle in our group.  If only because my Aunts will come help.  Aunt Cordy can make the universe beg when she's having a bad day."

"This is something Des would have laughed at," Draco agreed quietly.  Alex laughed and nodded, giving him a hug.  "Thanks."  He snuggled into his side.  "Alex, maybe we should find a room soon?  It's rather late.  It's dark outside."

"So it is," Lavelle agreed, smirking at it.  "I'll stay up in case it happens. You guys go see if rooms are available and crash."  They nodded, heading to do that.  He looked at Goemon, who was still stunned stupid, so he gave him a little nudge.  "Hey."  Goemon looked at him.  "Get me out of here?" he pleaded.  "They're nice and happy mes.  The one with the cane has kids.  The other is apparently more of a top.  I'll even let myself be chained to Lupin's side for a week if you get me out of here."

Goemon gave him a gentle pat on the back.  "I'm sure we'll be rescued soon.  I left while they were arguing over who was going to come.  Dawn was there."

"I'm not sure Dawn can get up here," he admitted.  "The magic's really odd.  Sort of like it neutralizes it."

"Hmm.  Still, I'm sure she can hold open a portal."

"Hopefully.  Otherwise, we may be stuck here for a damn long time.  I'm not sure if the urn brings you back or not."

"Hopefully we will be found.  If not, one of them will bring us home with them and we can work on getting home from there," he said patiently.  "They are good, they would do such for themselves."  The younger man nodded, looking into his beer.  "You will see them soon enough, Xander.  Do not worry about it," he said gently.  "They will not be hurt by this accident and I'm sure you will get to be noisy again.  Try to keep my children out of the room."  Xander snickered, shaking his head.  "We all know Lotus will cling to you harder than your men ever could.  She has a stronger grip."  Xander laughed, louder, giving him a look.  "Good. Finish your beer.  You should probably retire as well."

He shook his head.  "I want to stay up for a while, see if their friends are faster since they're mostly magical.  It sucks, but Ethan couldn't do this."

"I'm sure he's already been checked as an option," Goemon soothed.  "Can you imagine Lupin like that?"  Xander burst out in giggles, shaking his head.   "I do not believe he would like the robes either."

"If we do, try to go back with the me with the cane.  They've got phoenixes."

"If possible," he agreed. "They are supposed to be very pretty birds."

"And they've got a lot of them."

"Interesting. It would be a beautiful pet and would also be quite smart."

"Maybe we could train one to nip at Ishi when he disappears."

"Or as a familiar for the daughter," he noted.  Xander beamed at him.  "You are transparent.  The children are already spoiled by your gifts."

"Hey, the others don't let me spoil them," he defended.

"Yet, you manage it," he reminded him.  "Pirate treasure for birthdays.  Special jewel collections that my wife decided not to share in.  Things that you split that you don't have to."  He smiled at the young man.  "You are very transparent sometimes, Xander."

"Hey, I *like* spoiling people.  Anya taught me how."  He smirked and finished that beer, getting a refill automatically.  "Thanks, dude."

"Welcome, Lavelle.  He's right, their friends are working on it.  You could go nap."

"Nah.  I wanna see these friends first," he noted.  "I'm paranoid that way."  He looked over as someone from a tv show he knew walked in.  "Wow."  The bartender smirked at him.  "They're real?"

"Somewhere you are all real."  He poured the new guy a coffee and added some M&M's for him, smiling at him.  "You okay?"

"Just freaked," he admitted.  "Where is this?"

"The Crossroad's Bar.  You'll get home soon."  He went to pour some blood for the vampire bouncing back down the stairs, handing it off.  "Go sit.  The others went to nap."

"Cool."  He sat down in the empty side of the table.  "So, *consort*," he said dryly.  "Anya was just very informative."  He sipped his blood.

"Want Wheatabix?" Lavelle asked dryly.  Xander shuddered.  "Sorry, the last time I saw someone drinking blood it was Spike."  Xander shuddered again.  "So, their friends are trying.  Can you get home?"

"I apparently got pulled right before I died," he admitted. "To them I am dead."

"That's okay, kid. There's another spot for you," the bartender called.  "You'll be relocated over there in a few days.  You'll like that world, you'll have horses to run with."  Vamp Xander gave him a look like he was insane. "A more normal you as well."

"Okay," he agreed, nodding.  "If you say so.  You know this how?"

"I saw the story."

Lavelle looked at Goemon.  "I'm about to have mental problems like Draco did."

"Draco?  From the books?" he asked.  Lavelle nodded.  "Interesting."  He took another drink of his sake.

***

Dawn stopped herself from walking through.  "No, we'll be staying," she told her.  "Our powers will go allergic on us if we go there.  We'll anchor the portal here so they can get back."  Younger Dawn nodded, pulling over stools for them to sit on.  "So, you do this sort of magic?" Older Dawn asked.

"Yeah. Xander brought me over after Buffy died."  She shrugged.  "I like it at Hogwarts.  Xander and Draco are both excellent big brothers.  Plus, I get to fly and pick on Professor Snape and all good things," she agreed. "And Ron's so cute," she sighed gently.  "He's such a goofball but he's so cute."

Dawn grinned, pulling out a picture.  "That's my man.  He's a cop.  He keeps me on the straight and narrow most days.  Hates the magic stuff though.  His only fault.  Okay, and the fact that he's obsessed with Lupin, but I can accept that because it frustrates him and he comes to me for comfort."

Younger Dawn grinned at the picture, then at her.  "You don't look that old."

"I'm not," she said, giving her a nudge.  "I'm only mid-twenties.  He appreciates my youth and vitality and he's a steadying influence without being obnoxious about it the way Lavelle can be."

"Lavelle?"

"Xan in our world.  He's a gunmen, one of the best.  The guy in the hat, Jigen, taught him."

"Wow.  I knew our Xander was dangerous, but really."

"Yeah."

Both Dawns looked at the portal, sighing in frustration.  It sucked being the backup.

***

Lupin led the way to the doors, then opened one, striding in.  He looked at the single bartender.  Then he smirked.  "Lavelle?"

"Just passed out," he said, nodding at the vampire.  "The portal's still unstable for the next few hours.  Sit, have a drink."

"She's holdin' it open," Tipsy said firmly.

"Yeah, I know, but the paths it's going across fluctuate.  You won't have a twisted and winding path back until about dawn.  Strangely enough," he admitted, pouring beers.  "Here, you'll want them."

Jigen had walked over to the table, swatting at Goemon.  "Protect our boy better," he ordered, noticing he was drunk too.  He pulled Lavelle's head up, giving him a look.  "Shocked at the other yous?" he asked dryly.  Xander nodded, then passed out again.  "He's truly gone, boss."  Lupin walked over to look at their white-haired loon.  "Goemon's halfway there too."

"We were just chatting with book characters," he noted drunkenly.

"Yeah, we met a few too," he admitted.  The kids walked over and forced the vampire to shift over.  "Do we have to wait?"

"Yeah," Iggy admitted.  "I checked the portal.  The two end points haven't shifted but the middle has.  We could get stuck in some other realm and have to do this again."  He looked at the vampire him.  "My daddy?"

"Upstairs resting," he said.  "Let me guess, you're Iggy?"  Simone growled at him.  "Damn, you'd make a fine vampire."  He licked his lips and she pulled out a stake.  "Oh, you're a potential Slayer."

"No, Uncle Xander just trained me like one," she said dryly.  She heard a quiet chuckle and looked up into the eyes of her own father.  "Daddy, how did you get here?"

"I didn't misset the portal," he told her, pulling her up to hold.  "Your uncle?  Troublesome beast that he is."

"Napping," the vampire said, smirking at him.  "You're more adorable than the younger version."

"Of course I am," he agreed.  "Like many fine things, we only get better as we age."  He looked back at his Severus, who was talking to his counterpart.  "Oh, dear.  It's a book nerd moment."  Iggy got up onto the back of the seat and ran over to help.  He smirked.  "I knew that'd get him."  He moved his daughter, sitting next to her.  "Thank you."  He looked at Lupin. "Sit.  We should discuss this.  I recognize you from our realm."

"I doubt it," he said. "I don't think I've been there."  He and Jigen sat down, Jigen climbing over to sit next to Lavelle.  "Don't bite him, Lavelle is very protective of him," he warned.

"All Xanders are protective creatures," Draco informed him.  "Mine goes on protective streaks and fights outstanding odds, then gets badly hurt and expects no one to get mad at him."  He smiled a dry little smirk.  "Fortunately he found a nurturer to love."  He looked at Lavelle, then back at Lupin.  "How did you get to one of our realms, Mr. Lupin?"

"Dawn."

"Dawn?"

"The Key, she's a girl in our realm," Jigen told him.

"Ah!  I know of that artifact," Draco admitted. "That's fine.  I'm sure we can work on a way to get you back home.  Going to our own would probably be safer."

"The portal lead to their realm," Lupin said, nodding at the mass of people.

"I'm sure it does, but we probably have things that you want more."

"Yeah, but Dawn said we couldn't take things between the realms."

"Unless there is and never was a counterpart," Draco corrected gently.  "We have some...problematic things that should probably not be in our realm as well.  Severus has a few of them stored and I have more of them.  I studied the you in our realm when you were captured for trying to steal one such thing before you were obliviated.  You were quite the specimen of a muggle.  Fortunately not American," he said dryly.

"Daddy has something against American muggles," Simone shared.  "We're not sure why."  She patted her father gently.  "Was that the guy you said we had as a visitor?"  He nodded, giving her a smile.  "That's wicked, daddy."

"I know," he said smugly.  He looked at Lupin again.  "If we were to bring you home with us and send them back with you, what would you do with them?"

"Destroy them if they're that dangerous.  If not, Ethan might try to take them.  Or at least whine them out of us.  Xander can usually control him."

Jigen snickered.  "We might have to keep Pops from demanding them for Dawn too."

"She would be an appropriate holder," Draco admitted.  "The Key is a pure artifact."

"She's a former thief," Lupin told him.  "Dating a cop."

"Again, a pure artifact, if perfectly balanced.  She found that which balanced her out," he said with a hand wave.  "She would be appropriate to such a task."

"Xander mentioned you had phoenixes," Goemon said suddenly.  "He suggested that he might want to see such a sight."

Draco laughed.  "We've got them flying around the house right now.  They're annoying little beasts sometimes.  Simone, yours stole my favorite cufflinks again."

"Were they under my bed?"

"No, she lined her nest with it. She's about to lay again."

"Wonderful."

"We might consider that," Lupin said dryly.  Draco looked at him. "In payment?"

"Magical artifacts aren't enough?  Your Xander surely has magic. I can feel it from him."

"He was taken against his will and had it forced onto him," Jigen said coolly.

"Ah.  That explains the dark taint I can feel."  He smirked.  "Fine.  If one of the hatched ones takes to you, it is no fault of mine and my Xander can't possibly refuse to let one go to their new home."  His daughter gaped at him.  "They wouldn't exist in their realm.  In theirs, phoenixes are a myth."

"Glinda will be pissed, dad."

"It will be fine.  A mother can only protest a potential mate, not make their offspring leave them."  He gave her a pat on the head.  "Go find your cousin before we lose him to those others for the rest of the summer."

"Nope, not happening.  We still need to practice with Little Ron so he'll be up against Ravena."  She got up, heading over the back of the booth to pull her cousin away from the dual Snapes. "Sorry.  We need the little book nerd," she announced.  Iggy gave her a hurt look.  "You can't live with them for the summer.  If you do, we'll never get any practice in."

"Simone, we don't need practice.  Has it escaped your attention that we scare professional players already?"

"It may not be possible to get you back to your home realm immediately," one of the Snapes told her.  "In which case you can play with the other children."

She snorted.  "I'm not a child, thank you."

Iggy nudged her.  "Quit or Daddy will have to come down again."

"Fine."  She gave him a look.  "Remember, your woman's back there."

"Yes, but she wouldn't care if I did this," he promised. "She'll be drooling when I get back," he said smugly.

"Uh-huh.  With your luck, Raena will be having a woman moment when you get back."  She looked at the others, frowning at her uncles from that place.  "Do you two still prank?"  They grinned and nodded.  "Good, get him," she said, nodding at Iggy.  "He's been brewing for his father for years but he's managed to not get the family sense of humor."

"Simone!" Iggy complained.

"Yay."  She gave him a hurt look.  "Keep it up, I'll hit the bludgers at you again."

"You play beater?" Fred asked, walking her off.  "Not many women do you know."

George hurried after her.  "How good are you?"

She beamed.  "We scare professional players.  The head of the official League drools when he sees me, Denver, and Little Ron.  Ravena gets a worshipful look and he keeps giving Iggy these hurt looks because he's a potion master."

They laughed, sitting down with Harry and Ron to talk quidditch and brooms in their world.  They were ahead temporally.  Maybe it'd give them a heads-up for good things.

Fred finally looked at his twin.  "Maybe we should talk Draco into having his future offspring with our sister."

George shook his head.  "Mother would throw too big a fit and it's already past that time to get her.  Though, the last one.  A real Weasley seeker?"

"Hmm.  That would be smashing," he agreed, smirking at the young girl again.  Harry was giving her a look like she was the Goddess.  Ron was beaming because Harry was in love, it was a pretty sight to him.

***

Xander Harris-Weasley woke up when someone sat on his bed. "Yeah?" he groaned.

"You are in such trouble," his Draco said gently, making him wake up.  "Then again, so is my daughter for falling for a young Potter."  Xander groaned and flipped onto his side.  "Come along.  It's time to go back.  Get up, don't make me drag you home in just your boxers."

"Bloody hell," Xander whined but he did get up.  "Kids?"

"The top three, already downstairs.  Apparently they couldn't find Melvin this time."

"I don't think Percy would have allowed him to come help," he noted.

"Hmm.  Good point," he admitted.  He got out of the way, picking lint off Xander's robe for him.  "Come along.  We'll be hosting the white-haired you for a few days.  That way Severus and I can dump some artifacts off on them and send them through to the others."  Xander gave him a look.  "It's safer than having them in our world and someone there will be watching them.  I know the person who will be.  You'd like Dawn."  He walked him down the stairs.  Methos and the two boys were getting up the other Xander by the noises of complaint.  "He brought his me with him," he said smugly.  "Apparently I'm his consort veela and he never does without me."

Xander snorted.  "We would have destroyed each other a long time ago, Draco."

"True," he agreed.  He got out of the way so his children and the man's son could pounce him.  "Here we are, safe and sound."  He looked outside.  "We're leaving at dawn," he reminded everyone.  "Lets get moving that way now." He got them shooed that way, including the muggle and consort ones.  Dark muggles in his home, his father's pieces were flipping over somewhere. What a charming thought, he decided, smiling for Xander's benefit.  "Severus said we'll be taking them back to the shop immediately."

"Fine," he agreed, heading after them.  The other Xander came down and his friends took control of him and walked him out with him in the center.  "Hoping he won't escape?"

"Draco!" that Xander whined pitifully.

"Ron and Harry cuffed him between them with the muggle's handcuffs," one of them, a blond man with funny hair, Greg, told him.  "Is he a cop?"

"No, he's a thief," Xander told him.  "The me there is named Lavelle.  The other guys are Lupin the Third and his crew."

"Wow.  We've got them too.  Goemon's really funny when he's a diversion," Greg told him with a grin.  "We've still got a tape of that.  Wait until I tell Catherine."  They all laughed, shaking their heads.  "Time yet?" he asked.  "I'm supposed to be at work and you know how the Sheriff gets uppity."

"Not yet," Methos admitted, looking at Ignatius, who was working with his own Draco on the two portals.  "They'll be coming back with us?" he asked.  Draco smiled and nodded.  "That's fine.  We'll send them back when we get the muggles to pass them through."

"Sure," Iggy agreed absently. "I'm sure I can learn a lot in a short internship.  I'm that way after all."  He did want to study with that other Severus.  He was young and still fighting daily.  He hadn't lost the edge that his own master had, at least not yet.  Things would have to move faster and he'd probably be doing a lot more with him.  Besides, he'd get away from Raena for a while she had her period this time. Always a wise decision and he wouldn't have to sleep in a library this month. They got the dual portals opened, then everyone waved and headed to their various worlds.  Twin Dawn squeals heralded their return.  Iggy looked at the young Dawn.  "Damn, you're loud," he said.  She pouted and hit him, making him smile.  "Thanks."  He got out of the way, letting everyone else walk through.  This version of his father snagged him and dragged him off to talk with him.  Maybe he'd be getting lessons in the Dark Arts too.

***

Lupin looked around the quaint town, then at their guide.  "Are you sure this is wise?"

"Yes," Draco said patiently.  He looked back at Xander, then at Goemon.  "Try not to be so distinctive.  It's the early morning but these are shopkeepers."  He let them into the shop and into the back rooms. "We're home!" he yelled.  "The children are there!"

"Excuse me?" George said as he came out.  "My son is where?"

"With another Xander, studying under their Severus," Draco said dryly.  "He'll be back in a few weeks with the other two.  Denver's trying his best to hit on an older woman," he said, rolling his eyes.  He showed them to a double room.  "Fix it however for the next few hours.  We'll be heading to my house as soon as Severus can get his own stash of artifacts."

"You're dumping them through them?  They're muggles!"

"We're thieves as well," Lupin told him, giving him a smirk.

"Shit, you were in the paper," Fred said as he came out of his room, pulling on a shirt.  "We had to obliviate the you here."

"Yes, and there, they have a stable neutral entity that can hold those artifacts safely.  Even if the Ethan there does find them."  He walked off.  "The top three are there in the hands of twenty overprotective people plus a Xander and a me.  Don't worry too much about them."

"Sure we won't," George said, looking at his husband, who was napping against a wall.  "Come on," he sighed.  "You can tell me later.  Fred, I'll be back here today. Should I do laundry for you too?"  His twin nodded heading out to open the shop for the day.  It was early but that was fine.  The kids would be in as soon as they were up.  George looked at these strangers.  "Whatever you do, do not touch anything with a red wrapper.  They can be a bit dangerous if you're not expecting it.  Otherwise, ask first.  I'm not sure how some of the pranks will work against you."

"In our world, you're a book," Jigen told him.  "And just left the school in the last one I read.  You left because of some bitchy woman."

George snorted.  "Then it's not exactly the same.  Though we are still pranksters," he said smugly.  "Especially this one."  He walked Xander back into their room, letting him have the nest for now.  "You finish your nap, dear.  I'll make you breakfast later."  He went to the kitchen. The other kids would be up later.  He walked back out, looking at them.  "We do have children.  Try not to do too many bad things in front of them.  They're rather impressionable at that age."

"I have two as well," Goemon admitted.

"Good, then you'll understand.  Don't try to relieve the blond lump from my daughter's side.  She'll hit you for it," he advised, going back to his cooking.

Maeve peeked around the corner, then boldly walked in and looked at the strangers.  "Who're you?" she asked, scowling at them.  "I not know you."  Lucien snuck up behind her and glued himself to her back, going back to his sleeping.

Lupin laughed.  "Good morning.  I'm Lupin.  This is Jigen, Goemon, and Lavelle."  He leaned over and pinched her nose.  "And you are adorable, like a miniature Fujiko."

Goemon snorted.  "She was not that cute as a child.  I've seen her baby pictures."  He looked down at her.  "Does he do that often?"  She nodded.  "Do you not fight him?"

"Why?  My Lucien," she said, reaching back to stroke his arm.  A loud bird flew in and she snorted.  "Fine, grumpy prat," she said, stomping off.

Jigen nudged Lavelle awake.  "You wanted to see one of those?" he suggested, nodding up at it.

Xander stood up, mouth open in awe.  "You're adorable," he told it.  "Very pretty and shiny.  Ooh, and smart too," he teased when she preened and fluffed her feathers at his words.  "May I pet you, beautiful?"  He reached out a finger but she batted it away with her wing.  "I understand.  I'm tainted and I realize it."  He looked her over some more.  "You are precious though.  More so than any treasure we've ever stolen."  Lupin snorted so he gave him a harsh look. "She is.  She doesn't exist in our world."

"She'd be a pet," Lupin told him.

"Fine."  He sat down again, continuing to stare at the pretty red/gold/purple bird.  "You are very special and absolutely rare too."

"And if one follows you back, you can visit it at Dawn's," Lupin reminded him.  "Like the cat and the ferret."

Xander spit at him.  "I'd never try to keep this one chained up.  She'd have to fly free.  Like Goemon, she'd come whenever she wanted to."

Draco came back.  "Glinda, behave," he said in disgust.  "No more sucking up to the muggles.  Only Dumbledore has the lemon drops you're probably craving."  She cheeped at him.  "Yes, the grandfather," he said patiently.  "Go find him."  She flew out a window, heading up to the school.  "Sorry about that, she's ready to clutch again and craves sweets when she does.  She's recently latched onto the Headmaster's stash of lemon drops and her own mother is giving her tolerant and fond looks."  He sat down, looking at them.  "Severus said it should take him two or three days to find them all.  That fine with you lot?"

"Fine," Xander agreed happily.  "How many more are there?"

"About thirty I believe," he admitted.  "Including the new clutch downstairs."  He shrugged.  "We've got one being laid by a paranoid bird that belongs to a vampire."  He stood up again.  "I'll check on you later.  Nap or whatever for now."  He left them alone.

Jigen looked at Lupin.  Who shook his head.  "Finally met someone with an attitude similar to yours?" he asked smugly.

"Keep it up.  I'm sure Janus can come here too," Lupin smirked back.  "We didn't bring the choker."

"Maybe they've got a spell for such things," Goemon offered dryly.  "You two are horrible, please do not keep me up."  He watched as Lavelle got up to hunt more birds.  "Are we going to be bringing one back with us?"

"It's entirely possible," Lupin admitted, rolling his eyes.  He couldn't deny their boy that.  It was precious and rare and they were in the habit of collecting things of that nature.  Jigen gave him a look.  "We'll see if it wants to nest in the garden or not," he said.  "If not, maybe it'll stay with Dawn anyway."

"I'm sure Pops would like that," Jigen said dryly.  "A gold songbird?"

Goemon snorted.  "Phoenixes are much more than songbirds, their legends are many and varied.  They are protective, possessive, and occasionally thieves themselves."  He looked at Lupin. "Thankfully I didn't run into any other versions of myself while we were there."

"Since the magical memory wipe Dawn did on us back in Cleveland didn't work, I'm not so sure we won't while we're here," Lupin suggested smugly.  The others gave him a look.  "Think about it.  He might know other things to go for.  We can share targets, see if anything new comes up."  The other two got up, heading to their room to rest while he thought his insane thoughts.  "Come on, guys," he said. "It'll be fun."

"The last time you said that phrase we spent a week in prison," Goemon told him.

"I doubt we'll be doing that here.  They're begging us to take stuff."

"No," Jigen said as he walked away.  "You'll jinx the ones here."  He laid down on one of the twin beds, getting comfortable.  "Ah, better."

Goemon nodded, laying down around his sword.  "Much, though I will miss my children coming in to pounce me for a while."

"I'm sure they'll do it just as soon as we get home," he assured him.  "Remember, Fujiko doesn't expect us back at the house for another three weeks."

"Hmm.  Good point."  He closed his eyes, one hand lightly on his sword.  Just in case.

***

Dawn, the older one, looked up as her trouble buddies came through the portal.  A few of the things they had with them disappeared as soon as they crossed but she smiled at them.  "Did you bring presents for worrying Fuji?" she taunted.  "I've told her already."

"Sure we did," Lupin said smugly.  "If she can find them."  He looked at the kids coming back to go through.  "You guys look tired."

"Time turner," Iggy moaned, heading back through to take a real nap for the first time in three weeks.  The others trudged after him.

Dawn shook her head.  "Time turners are fun.  You can go back and do an hour again."  She opened up a portal to her house.  "Through.  I've got a containment area set up already."  She led the way.

Lavelle gave the other world another look and a long sigh.  Then he walked through.  He didn't get to see the bird that snuck through on Goemon's back.  It quickly flew outside to see this new world and he was none the wiser that he had been adopted by a magical being again.

Goemon gave Lupin a look, noticing his smug look.  "I will expect it to like Lotus as well," he warned.

"And probably Ishi too," he assured him.  They headed down to Dawn's workroom, carrying the new artifacts to let her look them over.  "Pops?" Lupin asked her.

"At that conference this week," she said lightly.

"Really?" he asked, opening up her door.  "Did time run differently wherever?" he asked, glaring at the others.

"Probably," she agreed.  "Why?"  She grinned and kissed him on the cheek.  "They sent artifacts for me to protect.  If you try to arrest them, they've vowed to take them and give them to Ethan."

"Fine," Zenigata said bitterly, letting them inside.  "I should arrest all of you for breaking and entering."

Lupin smirked.  "We didn't.  We didn't come through a door or a window."  He put his box down, looking around for Lavelle.  "Where did he go?"

"Bathroom," Dawn told him.  "Portalling always makes him wanna pee."  She gave him a small look then pulled out the first one to catalog and figure out what it was.  Dumass had given her a few books that were very handy for that.  It even had Xander's choker in there.  "Zenny, shut the door," she ordered.  "I don't want the kids exposed if there's something too big."

"Too late," he said dryly, looking down at the two baby Goemons rushed in to pounce their father, knocking him down.  He laughed, heading out to check on the rest of the house.

Dawn peered down at him.  "You okay?"

"Fine," he agreed.  "They enjoy doing this to me."  He patted them both.  "Behave," he ordered.  "Let me stand and I'll hold you both."

Lotus scowled at him.  "Bird!" she demanded.  Her father gave her a look so she smiled sweetly, like her mother. "Please?"

"That's it, no more lessons from Fujiko," Jigen said, picking her up.  "The bird's not here, Lotus."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek and nodded.  "Uh-huh.  Saw it."  She gave him a cuddle, sucking up to him.  "Love you."

"Thanks, kid."  He patted her on the back, looking at the father.  "Keep her mother from turning her into a miniature vamp."

"I try," Goemon reminded him, standing up to hold his wiggling son.  "Have you been good?"  His son babbled about all the things he had found, including a certain choker.  He shook his head.  "Do not touch that, son.  It is your uncle's only."  Ishi gave him a hug then wiggled so he put him down, watching as he ran outside.  "I thought Lotus was supposed to be another Xander."

Lupin laughed.  "He'll slow down soon, Goemon.  He does very well with his lessons."

Goemon sighed.  "True, he does."  He took his precious daughter back, giving her a hug.  "How have you been?"  She kissed him on the nose.  "I believe I should spend some more time with you.  That was one of your mother's moves."

"The next thing you know she'll do Fujiko's next move," Jigen said smugly.

Lupin gave him a look.  "I doubt Lotus will try to take his kimono off him."

"Eww," Dawn pointed out. "Disgusting things, guys, really."  She put that one down, moving to the next once she had found the pertinent page in the right book. These were really handy books to have.  She'd have to make sure Lupin only got a copy.

***

Lavelle looked up as his bedroom window opened, gaping at the bird. "You did come!" he said happily, getting up to pet him.  "You precious thing.  Yes, you are, you are more rare than even the most rare treasure."  The bird sang at him, liking this human. He flattered him greatly.  He sent a picture of the children trying to pluck him.  "I'll tell them they can't have feathers until you shed," he promised, continuing to stroke his new friend. "Hey, can you steal stuff too?"  The bird snorted, but did drop a pearl into his hand.  "Cool!  You're so cute!"  He gave him a gentle hug.  "Now, where should we set you up a nest?  Would you like upstairs?  There's no one up there and I can disable the alarms for one room."  The bird cheeped.  He checked the hall before carefully carrying his new buddy up the stairs.  He even let him pick his room, disabling the window alarm for him.  Then he gathered up some old newspapers and made the start of a nest.  "Don't worry, I'll get you a better one tomorrow," he promised.

The bird gave him a look and settled into the bed, comfortable enough for now.  This human was worthy of him, he would be spoiled and pampered like he deserved.  He wasn't a Malfoy bird for nothing.

Table of Contents

Whoa!  Not What I Expected! 2

He's Back! 29

The Job. 44

Cleveland. 70

The Mask. 100

Choking on the New Toys. 133

Bad Planning Makes For Imperfect Solutions. 227

Not Yet! 279

Nightmares! 327

Games People Play. 357

Presents. 409

You Called?. 440

The Crossover Saloon. 498