Contents

The Idea Behind the Story

The Story

The Idea Behind the Story

From:"Danyella Skyler Silverfire" <bountyhunter_danyella@yahoo.com>

Date:Thu, 3 Jan 2008 14:34:40 -0800 (PST)

Subject:[imaginings] SPN/BtVS Plot bunny

I had a funny plot bunny attack me this morning. It's rather short but I hope someone

*cough*Vo*cough* takes it.

Alright Xander meets John Winchester on a hunt (whether it was Xander, John or both hunting is up to you) and they end up traveling and hunting together for a little while. Anyway John takes a liking to Xander and decides to set him up with Dean, figuring the two of each other would balance each other out and give each other something to live and fight for. Seeing as how Dean's been kinda off since Sam left and Xander's got his plethera of issues so Dean would give him a good unwavering friendship at least. So John sends Xander to back up Dean after some subtle hinting to put the idea in his head.

Now I'm thinking all of this is while Sam's at collage. So it would be rather funny if Xander and Dean were together by the time John dissappeared and Dean got Sam back into the hunt. Be interesting if Xander was gone on his own taking care of something that was urgant so he couldn't be with Dean to go see Sam, so a couple weeks later Sam walks into their most recent motel room to find his big brother making out with a *guy*, then to find out that not only does John approve but he considers Xander his son-in-law.

I can see things being rather funny. Especially with Dean and Xander baiting and bickering with each other.

Notes:  small angst up front when Xander's trying to figure out what he wants to do.

The Story

John Winchester was tired.  The current issue he was dealing with wasn't being that predictable and it was driving him insane trying to find anything in this town.  No one wanted to give him any information and even the newspaper hadn't been that helpful.  So he was here in a bar, trying to get a drink and relax for the night until a new idea hit him.  He looked at the stripper on the stage, not realizing he had picked a strip club.  Not his usual thing.  That was more his son's thing really.  He went to the bar, sitting down.  "Beer me?" he requested quietly.

The bartender looked at him.  "Any sort?  We've got three on tap, bottles, and crap in a can."

John tried not to smile.  That was honest.  "Miller or Bud, whatever's cheaper and easier."

"It's five for ten tonight on beer bottles, dude.  No matter the brand.  Both are."

"Miller."  Xander got him one and opened it for him, handing it over.  "Thank you."  He put down the money.  "I'll need the other four later."

"Sure."  He rang him up and went back to filling a drink order for a girl talking to a customer.  She sold pretty well but she was picky about her drinks and how they tasted.  He looked around the club, staring at one customer.  He wasn't going to groan out loud.  He had warned the putz last time.  He checked him over.  His wallet was on the table.  His dagger was on his back waistline, as was his pistol.  Xander looked at the bouncer then at the guy, getting a nod that he had seen the weapons.  They didn't have an official policy on no weapons allowed.  They did have an armed, former cop bouncer and Xander though.  So when the guy got up to bug the stripper on stage by vamping out, Xander pulled up his crossbow and shot the guy.  Then he waved at his dusted corpse.  "Next time, don't try to bite the dancers," he told the dust.  He looked at the girl.  "I get ten percent of your cut from his wallet."

She shrugged.  "Okay."  She went back to her set and came off, going to change and sell drinks.

John looked at the pile of dust then at the boy.  "Good technique."

"Should be after three years of patrol."  He gave him a long look.  "You don't look shocked."

"We mostly deal with spirit manifestations but not the first I've seen."  He sipped his beer, watching the manager storm out.  This was going to be interesting.

"I told you to quit that!" the manager shouted.  "You're losing us money!"

Xander pointed at the table, leaning on the bar.  "His wallet was on the table, boss.  I didn't think we wanted me to have to bandage more bite marks.  I still get ten percent or I'll never get out of here and you'll have to deal with me doing all the demons when they come in."  Another client started to edge toward the door.  "Don't eat or assault the dancers and I don't care," he said in a demon trade tongue.  The thing relaxed and went back to the girl he was buying for.  Xander looked at his boss again.  "You'd rather rush her to the hospital needing blood?  Or have to stake her when she came back in a few days for her last paycheck and your blood?  We *all* know I don't let that sort of thing happen."  The boss stomped off.  "Remember, I get ten percent so I can fix the POS car.  Otherwise I've got to stay here forever and ever," he called after him.  He looked at the bouncer.  "Need my crossbow for the other two?"

"No, if they wanted to eat someone, I'm sure they've decided it was a stupid decision by now," he said phlegmatically.  He went back to his post.  Xander had some pretty fast reflexes.  It made his job easier.

John looked around then at the boy.  "You got a name?"

"Xander."  He leaned his forearms on the bar, looking at him.  "You?"

"John."  He smiled.  "John Winchester."

Xander held out a hand.  "Xander Harris."

"Where you from, kid?"

"Sunnydale."

"That evil little crater of doom?" he asked.  That explained a lot.  The kid probably knew vampires than he did real people.

Xander chuckled.  "That's us.  Three years hunting with our slayer," he said quietly.  "I'm on a post grad road trip and someone so *thoughtfully* blew up my engine for me during a rest stop."

"Ah.  Not bad."

Xander smirked.  "Thanks, John.  Ready for your second?  If not I'll have to up the price with the boss being pissy."

"Sure.  I could use it."  He drained his first one and handed over the empty, letting Xander give him a second one.  "Thanks."

"Welcome."  He went back to cleaning the bar, plus doing the glasses that had been dirtied.  The music that came on blaringly loud made him flinch and wince.  The stripper getting up there was new and she made him hiss and shake his head.  No rhythm.  No style.  But hey, the rumors said that her first private dance had turned into a blowjob so the guys would like her.  The boss came storming out.  "What?  I didn't turn it up."

"You're ignoring clients."

Xander looked around.  "You guys should've said something."  He moved to handle the dancer's beer request then went to the guy he didn't know.  "What'cha need?"  The man waved his glass.  "Beer?"  He nodded.  "What type and tap or bottle?"  The man wrote something out.  Xander read then got him a refill, handing over the cold glass.  "Next time, bang something or throw something at me."  The guy smirked and walked off to hum at the poor girl on the stage.  He looked at the boss. "Why did you hire her?  She's got lumpy, small breasts and no rhythm.  Hell, even I did better when you made me fill in."  He went back to cleaning.  John was trying hard not to laugh.

"Let's not talk about your trial on the pole, Harris.  You nearly got killed.  Twice."

Xander smirked at him.  "Why do you think I keep the crossbow back here with me?"  He pulled it on the vamp who rushed the stage, getting him.  His wallet was at the table too.  He walked over to look at the ashes, picking up something shiny.  "Usually things disappear."  He looked at it.  "Ah.  Order of Taraka.  Hey, boss, we've got assassins in the house.  Do we give them drink specials?" he called as he walked off with the ring.  Someone behind him growled and lunged at him.  Xander ducked, letting him land against the bar.  He saw John deftly pickpocket him then stake him with the one in his back pocket.  "They're hiring for pitiful now.  It really, really was.  I've seen normal teen girls fight better than that one."  He looked at the stunned looking stripper then he smirked. "Hi.  Xander from Sunnydale."  She shrieked and ran out naked.  He waved.  "Well, better tips for the rest of you."  One of them left off her teasing and went to dance for her drink buyer, who was going to be giving her a lot more later.  He went back behind the bar, looking at his boss.  Then he went to get the wallets and take his ten percent, handing the rest of the money to the girl who had nearly been attacked earlier.  "Your cut."  He went back behind the bar, pocketing the money.  "So," he said dryly, smirking at John.  "How was your day?"

"I can't find any information on the poltergeist in town."  He finished his beer and paid for another one, getting his third.  "Know anything about them?"

"Not a bit," Xander admitted.   "We had some sort of echoing spirit thing but it only wanted a replay.  We did and it went away.  Where is it?"

"Timber Drive."

"I wonder if that's the lady who killed her kids then herself," he said thoughtfully.

"That was on Lumber Lane, the other side of the forest.  I heard stuff about her.  This one's in that red and blue house."

"Oh!" he said, nodding.  "One of the demons warned me to stay away from that area.  The town's founders were haunting the area to cause trouble for the traitor who betrayed them to the people who wanted to buy the town out for mineral rights back during the gold rush. She said that they were plaguing one family because it was the traitor's family and possibly the old family home too.  Something about poison and greed, that the traitor had wanted the money the company was offering and the town's founders wanted the land instead.  The way she was talking about the founders, they sounded like pissed off hippies with a member who was trying to sell the commune."

John nodded, thinking about it.  "I think we only have one poltergeist."

"You can probably find the whole story in that ghost story book in the local bookstore window."

John smirked, taking his next beer and paying for it.  "I'll look at that tomorrow, Xander.  Thank you."

"Not an issue.  One less that comes for me."  He looked at the female vamp at the bar.  "Yes, dear?  What can I pour you?"

"Your blood?" she asked sweetly.

"This isn't a goth bar.  It's on the other side of town.  Anything else I can get you?"

"Oh, I think you'll give me what I want," she cooed.  "Won't you, Knight?"

Xander smirked then shook his head.  "No.  I'm not that obliging, kiddo.  Anything legal I can pour you?"

She lunged and managed to pin him against the back of the bar, away from the crossbow.  "I think I'll get what I want and no one in here will say anything," she sneered. "Such a pitiful one.  The tagalong."  She turned to dust.

John finished his beer.  "I always hated when they tried to psych you out before they ate you."

"Ehh, it's mild torture," Xander said dryly.  "Thanks."  His boss stormed back out.  "Need more coffee, boss?"

"They *do* make us money," he told him with a small sneer.

Xander stared him down.  "I'm not dying tonight or for this job, boss.  I'd rather go take that offer to do demon porn than die from the vamps here."  The boss went red in the face from his anger. They were his major competitor locally.  "They offered me ten grand  more a year than you are."

"When is your car getting fixed?" he demanded.

"I don't know.  Ask Barry.  He's at the end of the bar.  He was supposed to give me an estimate yesterday."  They both looked at the mechanic.

"I left it at your hotel."

"Another note I never got.  How much?"

"Close to a grand.  That small bit of explosive ripped it well, Harris."

"That's someone I'd like to find and fix," he said, looking up.  He looked at him again. "Parts and labor or just parts?"

"Parts."

"What about a salvage yard?" John asked.  "It'd be cheaper."

The mechanic looked at him.  "That was.  Someone put a gram of semtex in his engine with a timer at a rest stop.  It blew just as he was getting ready to leave town.  Totaled the engine compartment.  Even the steering wheel shattered."

"Be cheaper to buy another junker," John told the kid.

"I've thought about that," Xander agreed.  "The local lot is like extortion if they know you need one."

John grimaced.  "Anywhere nearby?"

"Salvage yard.  I'm not good at cars."  He looked at him.  "Anything cheaper?"

He smirked.  "Sixty for something that needs an engine.  It'll get you home.  Maybe."

"Can it get me to LA?"

He considered then nodded.  "So could Greyhound."

"LA has an underground railroad into my town.  Greyhound hasn't gone to Sunnydale in six months."  That got a nod and the guy finished his beer.  Xander held up a new one, getting a nod.  "Any other options?"

"Only if you know magic."

Xander grinned. "Don't tempt me.  The last time I dabbled in that I read from a book and it lit on fire."  He went back to his duties with a smile.  "Let me think, Barry."

"Not a problem, kid.  I'll look for a cheap junker that's still got a bit more life than the one behind my shop for you."  That got a nod and Xander got back to work.  He looked at the boss.  "Feel luck you have him.  He's stopped you from losing six of your girls like you did last month."  He stomped off.  Barry looked at John.  "You know salvage stuff?"

"I have a friend who runs one in South Dakota."

"Interesting."  He went back to drinking, watching the kid.  He was fascinating and a mystery to everyone locally.  He nearly laughed when some loud college boys came in and spotted him working then suddenly quieted down and went to find a good seat to see the stage.  They were even respectful to the waitress for a change.

John looked at the boys then at the kid behind the bar.  "Had a talk with them?"

"No, I made my point last time with a baseball bat to the bar," Xander admitted.  "Ready for the fourth?"

"Sure."  He drained his and got another one, sipping it slower this time.  The boys were staying behaved.  "What did they do?"

"Tried to grope a girl at the table.  Went a bit farther than she wanted to go at that moment."  John gave him a look.  "I'm realistic.  Some girls do, some don't," he said dryly.  "The key is figuring it out by asking."  John snickered and nodded.  The boss came back out.  "Boss, are we doing the Queen's night again sometime soon?" he asked.  "Twilla wanted to know when I saw her at breakfast in the sandwich shop."

"I'm still thinking.  It made us good money but they nearly destroyed the club."

"She said to call her and don't worry about that special way of calling, she'd never take you from your present squeeze."  His boss glared at him. "Quoting, boss," he said with a sweet grin.  "And hey, she didn't hit on me this time," he told John more quietly when the boss had gone on, making him laugh.   He went to serve Barry his last beer of the five beers for ten bucks special then got John his.  "I'm heading off for lunch."  John paid him then Xander left.

John finished his beers and headed back to his motel room, looking around outside.  He hadn't thought the town was that demon ridden.  Unless the kid's rep was drawing them.  He looked off to the side of the club, finding some girl kissing him and the guy grabbing the side of the building.  He coughed loudly and the girl glared at him.  "Kid?"

"Succuba," he moaned, trying to get away from her.  She hissed at him then latched back on.  John got her with holy water, making her shriek then disappear.  "Thanks."  He slid down to sit on the ground.  "I don't know why they're drawn to me."

He smirked.  "You'd be a great hit on the hunter's circuit.  Even worse than my younger son is at drawing them."  He helped him up.  "I heard stuff about your town recently."

"Grad?" he asked, shaking his head to clear it.

"Yeah.  What happened?  There's no way that was a natural gas explosion."

Xander shook his head. "It was an ascension," he said quietly.

"Spirits did that?"

"No, he went from sorcerer to higher level snake demon.  Huge ass snake demon, John.  It filled from the front doors of the school to the library and partially out the windows when Buffy drew it in there so it could be handled."

John winced.  "Damn."

"Yeah.  The only choice we had at that time though."  He shrugged a bit, looking miserable.  "I led the frontal, clear the innocents assault while she baited him.  There's still Feds looking at me.  Every few days one of them comes to bother me."

John patted him on the arm.  "It gets better.  They quit being so suspicious as time goes on, kid."  He walked off.  "I'll be local for a few more days."

"I'm here every night but Sunday since we're closed due to the local city council being religious," he quipped back.  "At least until I can afford to leave."

That got a nod and a small smirk.  "Good luck with that, kid."

"Thanks, John, and for the timely save.  And for not ragging on me about it like Buffy does."  He walked back inside to get a drink then went to enjoy the night air without the assault.

John got into his truck, considering the boy.  "Why would they rag on him for having to be saved?  Do they expect him to be Superman?" he muttered.  "Not even I can save myself all the time."  He backed out, making sure he was still pretty sober.  He had drawn his beers out so he had about an hour between the majorities so he was fine to drive the three thousand feet on the empty road to the hotel he decided.  He parked and went to his room, checking on Dean before hitting his own bed.  Dean had already crashed for the night and didn't smell like some cheap girl for once.  So apparently he had been careful at least.

***

John showed up his last night, watching the kid argue with his boss before walking over and sitting at the bar.  Xander got him a beer without stopping the argument.  He paid and watched them go at it again.  It was still pretty early at night.

"No, I'm not getting back up there!  I don't feel like humiliating myself this week, thank you!" he said dryly.  "Last time was bad enough!"

"We don't have enough dancers and the lady's night draws in a lot of money, Harris.  You will or you're fired."

"Nowhere in anything I signed did it say you could strip my ass naked and let women fondle me.  I have more respect for my balls than that.  Last time I ended up bruised."

"If he gets caught letting them fondle you, that's prostitution," John pointed out patiently.

Xander looked at him.  "It's a cop's retirement party.  They won't mind."  That got a small nod of understanding.  "Beyond that, none of them liked me," he reminded the boss smugly.  "They nearly booed me off the stage until I got down to my speedo."

"This time wear less clothes," he said, walking off.  "You're up there or you're fired."

"That's fine, doing demon porn would be better paying anyway," he called.  "Consider this my final night and I'll be right here all night."  His boss glared at him.  "It will.  I can make an easy grand there and only need a shower and some holy water."  The boss slammed his office door.  He looked at John.  "Get it?"

"Yeah.  That book did have the poltergeist in it.  Thanks for that tip."

"Welcome."

"Your girls think you're super powered?"  He had done some checking on the kid's rep with someone who had went to handle graduation but ended up being too late and at the back of the crowd when the mayor changed.  He had been very informative about how the boy handled himself and his girls.

"No, they think I'm weak, helpless, and too normal to help because I'm not a witch, a slayer, or a sorcerer.  You know, I only saved their asses a few times.  Not like I didn't plan grad," he said dryly.

John looked at him.  "I looked it up and got raw footage from someone heading there to help you guys handle it.  It was a good plan," he said honestly.

"I had untried kids," he said quietly, leaning his elbows on the bar.  "I wish like hell they hadn't died."

"It's a war, Xander.  You have to accept casualties or you're no better than those girls who're trying to hold you back for being normal.  We were all normal once.  I'm not special in any way but I've been doing it now for eighteen years."  He took another drink.  "It's training that makes the difference and everyone has the right to make that decision for themselves."

Xander nodded.  "I pointed that out.  Giles said he never trained me.  I reminded him that the best teacher is sometimes learning to duck punches because they're being sent at you."

John nodded.   "I did."  He took another drink. "You okay?"

"I honestly don't know." Xander said.  He looked at the doorway.  "I have Fed sensing radar.  The putz is back."  He looked at him again.  "Do other people have girls like that in their lives?"

"Not if they're smart.  They tend to dump them."

Xander shook his head.  "If I do that, she's without my skills and down a fighter.  We lost Angel to LA because he couldn't handle not having her without losing his soul again.  We're down to her, her watcher, and a witch without me, plus her boyfriend."

John considered it then looked at him.  "Do they really need you?" he asked.  "Not to be condescending, but do they honestly need your skills.  Girls like your Buffy do it alone all the time."

"And they die really young.  I brought her back with CPR."  They shared a look.  "She was called at fifteen."

John put down the bottle harder than he intended. "That long?"  Xander nodded.  "How?"

"Us.  Backup."

John considered it.  "She could get another helper."

"She might," he agreed, standing up. "But who said they'll have planning experience?  Or any abilities.  Willow doesn't really hunt.  She patrols to keep Buffy awake and focused by chatting.  She does some things magically.  She's a powerful witch."

"She shouldn't be killing with magic.  It's a short, easy trip to the dark side if she is."

"She doesn't usually.  Every now and then she'll stake.  If she has to."

John wrote down something.  "If things get out of hand in your town and you need more backup, you call me.  This number should be good all the time as far as I know."  Xander nodded, pocketing it into his wallet.  "Until then, I'd think about what she'd do without you."

"She'd die.  Like the Master did to her until I resuscitated her.  Who knows what our next problem will be."  The bouncer groaned.  "What?"

"The annoying Fedman is back, Xander."

"Yay me," he said dryly, looking at John.  "Thanks.  Sometimes it does help to know that there's others beyond Angel and his amazing soul."

"What's up with his soul?"

"He's a vamp."

John looked at the beer bottle then at him.  "Excuse me?"

"Gypsy curse.  Willow restuck it when he lost it because he and Buffy did the deed for her birthday."

John put down the beer.  "You lacing it?"

He grinned.  "Nope.  Sorry.  You heard me right.  It's the wackiness that is our life.  That's why he went to LA to handle things there instead.  Because it'd go bye-bye again the next time they did the nasty and he had the wants crawling through his borrowed blood."

John shook his head quickly, putting a tip down on the bar.  "You guys need a lot of explosive."

"I can do that," Xander said smugly.  "Now."  John laughed.  "Have a good trip and safe hunts, John.   Call us if you need us.  I heard Giles just took over the Magic Box."

"I will."  He shook his hand and left, passing by the Fed on the way out.  He did stay close enough to listen on the guise of checking under his hood.

"So, Mr. Harris, we meet again," the Fed sneered.

Xander looked at him, tossing out the half-empty bottle. "That's because you keep coming in here and you never spend money on the girls.  Maybe if you did, you'd sneer less."  He got a cloth to clean the spot John had been sitting in.  "You going to actually spend money this time or are you here to prove you have the bigger asshole again?  Because, gotta tell you, mine's tight, young, fresh, and I don't feel like changing it."

"I know it was you who did that," he said coldly.

Xander shrugged. "Prove it."  He crossed his arms, leaning against the back of the bar.  "Anything else or are you done now?   I can hear your nether lips flapping again."  The bouncer tried not to laugh.

"If you'd admit it, we might be able to ...work something out."

"Dude, I have *way* more class than to let you blackmail me into bed."

"My boss thinks we may have a use for someone with your lack of skills," he said even more coldly.  "Then you'd be paid for doing the same troublesome and dangerous things you've been doing."

Xander leaned over, looking in his eyes.  "Tell your boss I'm not bending over for him either.  My ass is staying pure until I find a guy I like enough to give that to.  Until you guys go handle the problems, you can't yell at us for having to.  You didn't; you didn't want to deal with it for the last century.  Pity.  You made your bed full of shit and now you gotta sleep in it and screw in it.  Get over it or do it yourself.  You can quote me."  He got up and stomped off.  Xander found the lysol and sprayed the seat then looked at the bouncer.  He shook his head at his amused look.  "They honestly expected us to not react when things were trying to kill us.  How stupid do you have to be to work as a Fed?"

"Pretty," he admitted.  "We always thought they hired for stupidity because they wouldn't argue over the bad orders."

"Could be," Xander admitted.  "Need coffee?"

"Please."  Xander made them a pot, getting him a cup with cream then sipped his own before calling the demon porn place.  He could stand that long enough to get out of this town.  He checked his wallet, the number was still there.  Fortunately.

***

A Year Later

***

Xander looked around his apartment, pacing back and forth.  He was not happy.  He was pissed.  He wanted to destroy the town with everyone in it.  He turned and paced the other direction.  He hated this town.  He hated everyone in this town.  Anya came in the bottom door to the basement.  "Go.  Away."  She squeaked and fled.  He went back to pacing then a memory hit him.  He frowned, sitting down to consider that option.  Then a few others.  There were a few things that needed to happen.  He grabbed his jacket and a stake, heading out into the night.  He needed a few things and he knew the demons who had them.  Pity for them being in his way.  He found the few things he needed after taking out the demons, taking them back to his place to pack.  He packed everything else, including his two uncashed paychecks he had been saving to get a new apartment with.  Then he grabbed his wallet and loaded up his car.  He came back to grab his cellphone, calling the number in his wallet.  "John, it's Xander.  I don't know if you remember me."  He sat down with a sigh when he asked what was wrong.  "Can I rant at you?  They're back on their specialness kick and we just had to take down a military unit.  I'm so fragged and I'm not sure what I'm doing.  I'm at the crispy stage of burnout from here."  He held his forehead while he listened to him, and someone in the background.

"I don't care right now.  I'm leaving tonight.  Where are you?"  He nodded.  "Pick a spot closer to where you are and I'll meet you."  He smiled at the name of the town in Wisconsin.  "I can be there in a few days.  No, I have a real car now.  Thanks, man."  He hung up and headed to pack up a few other things he had been finding around the town recently.  Including a set of full credentials he had stolen off the military commander over the Initiative.  Plus a very special book he had taken out of storage.  After all, Giles hadn't needed all his books from the library.  His apartment wasn't that large.  You could not put a whole library's worth of books into a two-bedroom apartment.   Not even Willow was that good with the magic stuff.  He looked around his apartment, taking one last thing.  He had found an information file by logging in using the commander's ID to find it.  Very smart future planning move on his part.  He left his parents a note in case they decided to care and one for Willow that he dropped in her mailbox on his way out of town.  He nearly passed out in joy once he passed the city's limits but he couldn't run the sign down like Spike had.  His car wasn't that indestructible.

***

John walked into the small diner he had told Xander to meet him at, watching the young man's back for a minute.  He looked tired.  He had probably driven straight through.  He was also slumping and was radiating evil.  He walked over and sat across from him, getting a happy grin.  The tiredness didn't leave, neither did the slumping, and the evil got worse.  "What did you do?"

"We had to fight the military when they came to figure out what the Watchers have known for centuries by torture."

"Excuse me?"

Xander nodded. "We had to take them down.  We had to sneak out a friend another time but we brought them down last week."   He sipped his coffee then put the cup back down.  "Why?"

"You're radiating.  I'm getting a tan from the evil, Xander."

"Could it be the hellmouth's energy on me?"

"You think?" he asked dryly.  Xander slumped again.  "You didn't know that you were picking things up?  Like any other form of energy, it can soak into things."

Xander frowned.  "It can?"

John sighed. "Pay for lunch, kid.  Let's work on this at the hotel.  You clearly need more help than I can give you here."

"You sure?  I mean if I'm radiating that way I don't want to hurt anyone."

John gave him a look then snorted.  "There's ways to deal with that, kid."

"There are?"

"Didn't you say Willow was a witch?" he asked quietly.

"Giles too."

John moaned.  "They didn't say *anything* about this?"

"No.  She keeps closing it."  He finished his coffee and put down money.  "Then again she's gotten into some heavy mojo recently and we're seeing bad signs."

"Damn it," he muttered.  "Come on, we'll go talk, kid.  Ignore my son if he becomes an asshole."

"I'll give it back if he gets too annoying."

"That'll work too."  He walked the kid out, looking at his totally nondescript, totally average sedan.  "Were you trying to be unnoticed?"

"No but there's days I feel like the invisible girl we had in high school."

John looked at him.  "You can tell me about her later."  He pointed up the street.  "That way half a mile and turn right."  Xander nodded, heading off with him following.  This was not a good thing.  He called the motel room.  "Dean, we've got another hunter coming in burnt out to an extreme and he's soaked up a lot of dark magic.  Get the stuff we need to soak it out of him."  He hung up and headed back after the boy.  He had even got his own room at the motel so they could taint that one instead.  Of course when John got there, the motel's ghost they were there to deal with was staring at him in horrified awe.  He coughed.  "He's from the hellmouth."

"I was born there," Xander agreed. "Raised there.  Hunted there.  Killed demons there."  He glared at the ghost, making it fade out.  "Is that a new skill or part of the demon magnet thing?"

"Not sure yet.  We'll figure that out," John decided.  Xander nodded, sitting on the bed.  "Okay, let's go over what happened since the last time I saw you.  Because last time you weren't this stuffed full of bad magic."

"Help me unload the car first?  The ghost made me stop.  I've got a few artifacts that I don't want to leave out there."

"Why?"

"I wasn't going to leave them near Willow.  And one I'm using as a payment and punishment to keep my chubby butt fed for the next few years after I rescue someone." John gave him a confused look.  "All right, from the top.  Once we get the car cleared.  It'll fit in the closet."  They went to do that, then Xander sat on the bed and told him *everything* that had happened.  From Anya showing back up to Ethan to the Initiative and Riley to Oz and all of it.  Even about Spike.  Even about Angel hooking up with his former girlfriend Cordelia.

John listened, making mental notes from the look on his face, until Xander ran out of words.  After a few second's thought he looked over the boy.  "You're burnt out, Xander.  No one's teaching you what you need to know.  It's not the artifacts that're making you radiate.  None of them felt like this, even if one did feel highly magically contaminated."

"That's the bribe and payment."

John nodded. "Why?"

"Ethan."

John considered that.  "It'd be safer if he was left there."

Xander stared at him.  "I'm too good a good guy to leave anyone in the torturing sickos' hands," he said quietly.

John nodded. "Then I agree, it's a good bribe and payment probably."  Xander smiled at that.  "Then what?"

"I don't know.  I honestly don't have a clue beyond the fact that I don't care about them dying anymore.  Not since our talk. Not since they tried to do it again after that spell.  None of it."

"Any after effects to the spell?"

Xander shrugged.  "Dreams from the First Slayer for a few nights.  Getting my heart ripped out," he reminded him at his stare.  "I was the heart of the spell.  I'm not surprised she picked that way.  The Watchers forced the power onto her.  She wasn't happy with it."

John slumped, nodding, looking at the young boy no older than his youngest son.  If Sammy or Dean ever looked that bad, he'd make them retire.  "Do you want to keep hunting?"  The kid had the right to make that decision.  He heard Dean's engine and got up to look out there.  "Up here, Dean."  He let him inside then closed and locked the door again.  "Up to you.  We can do the purification and let you go on your merry way."

"Is that why you had me get the herbs?" Dean asked.  "Is it an artifact?"

"Remember I told you about that town in California?" John told him.  Dean nodded slowly.  "Xander, this one, was fighting there with the Slayer I told you about."

Dean gave him a long look.  "Who did they take?"

"My best friend.  The one I thought could honestly keep me from snapping and killing people," Xander said honestly but quietly, looking at him.  "Jesse was my soul at times.  When things got too dark, he was there with some light for me to follow back.  Then the vamps got him."

"He still around?" John asked.  Xander shook his head.  "Buffy?" he asked, looking hopeful.  Xander shook his head.  "Willow?"

"Me.  My first one," he said calmly.  "At the Harvest.  To save Cordelia."

John shook his head.  "Damn, kid."

"I know I'm burnt out.  I'm tired of being hit and tripped and falling into gravestones with my head.  I'm tired of being looked at funny for being a normal guy with weapons knowledge from a possession and other things because I'm not a slayer or a witch."

"If you were, would they look at you any differently?" he asked as gently as he could.  He hated to break illusions like that.  Xander slumped but shrugged.  "Then it's better you're not there, Xander.  They're just as bad as your parents were."  Xander looked up at him. "Honestly.  If you want to continue hunting, I'll work on your training with you.  You know things we don't.  We know things you don't.  You can help Dean and me."

Xander looked at Dean then back at him.  "Would I be safe with the way I'm leaking bad magic?"

"You know what decontam showers are?" John asked.  Xander nodded slowly.  "There's a magical equivalent.  We can wipe that off you."

"Are you drawing witches?" Dean asked.  "Because I feel the need to scratch, dude."

Xander smiled.  "Usually I draw demons.  Though the ghost came to check me out when I got here."

"It's been killing kids who check in to have sex without being married," Dean told him.

"Poor guys.  Getting some is a time-honored part of teenage years.  Otherwise, you never live long enough to have kids."  Dean gaped.  "Or maybe that's just Sunnydale?" he asked John, who nodded quickly.   "Oh.  Another screwy thing wrong with my town.  But hey, on the bright side, Willow didn't cause this one."

"Willow?" Dean asked.

"My other best friend.  She's a witch.  She's pretty powerful.  She closes the hellmouth all the time.  She stuck Angel's soul for good the other day."

"Angel?" Dean asked, sounding more hesitant.

"A vampire who's now the Champion for the Powers That Be Annoying," Xander told him.

"She stuck a soul in a vampire?" Dean asked, sounding calm.  He was proud of himself for sounding so calm.  He really was.  Because that was *WRONG* and unnatural!  Any hunter should know that.

"I did some research on him.  A gypsy clan cursed him for killing one of their kids," John told him.

"Their favorite daughter.  Giles' honey, Miss Calendar, was one of them.  She came to check on the soul spell but when he lost it for doing Buffy that one time, he killed her before she could do it again.  Willow tried once and failed then tried it again after a concussion in the hospital.  Didn't keep him from opening a sucking portal to hell and Buffy having to send him but oh well.  If I hadn't lied and told her Willow wasn't going to try again she wouldn't have beaten him and we'd all be dead.  She still won't talk about it or understand it."

"Girls in love see things differently," John assured him.

"You don't apply logic to emotions unless you're Sammy," Dean agreed.

"Sammy?" Xander asked.

"My little brother.  He's at Stanford trying to be normal."

"That doesn't really sound that bad," Xander admitted.  "I've been pretending to be normal except at night.  I used to want to be Batman but now I'm thinking the pay sucks and the bennies are even worse.  Especially health care in Sunnydale."

"Let's get back to the basics first, then we'll make some decisions about hunting, Xander," John decided.  "That way no one wants to slay you."

"That'd be nice.  Spike promised he'd get me when he got the chip out.  He'd be really pissed and have to destroy more people if someone took his fun," he said, being serious.

Dean laughed.  "You're joking, right?"

"No.  The government and military chipped him so he can't hurt humans," Xander told him honestly.  "I spent the last few weeks of last month tying him up in my recliner so Giles could get some international touch action in.  He's vowed to kill me a number of times for tying him up in the recliner and chaining him in Giles' tub because he was being an annoying asshole."

John shook his head.  "Demoralized vampires beyond the point, Xander.  Let's start with the purification stuff.  That way we don't want to reach for a shotgun?"  Xander nodded, taking off his shirt.  He reached for his pants.  "In the shower, Xander.  Not out here."

"Okay.  Willow said she has to have special clothes for magic stuff.  I brought my version for whenever I helped her.  It's in the blue bag.  Will I need it?"

"We'll need to clean it too probably," Dean said.  "Go use the bathroom and take a normal shower so we can do this."  Xander nodded, heading that way.  Once the water was on, he pointed and stared at his father.  "How?"

"Long story, Dean.  They decided he's too normal to help them do what he's helped them with for the last four years," he said quietly.  "They've got a witch going rogue.  A slayer with an attitude problem, a watcher with a drinking problem because his girl isn't paying attention or needing him as much, and he was the normal guy.  They called him a Zeppo a few times."

Dean sat on the foot of the bed, staring at his father.  "How in the hell?"

"I don't know.  He's at least competent from what I saw the last time we met.  If we can get him cleaned of the hellmouth and whatever that witch did to him, then we'll be able to help him decide if he wants to keep hunting.  Until then, the ghost likes him for some reason."

Dean just nodded, moving to prepare the herbs.  He walked into the bathroom.  "Got body wash or are you using regular soap?"

"Body wash.  Buffy got it for me for the holidays."  He handed it out.  "I'm done with it."  That got a nod and Dean walked off grimacing at the scent.  "Yeah, I know, but she's a girl so I got peach," he called without having to see his face.  He had grimaced too.

John looked at it, grimacing.  "Girls clearly bought that."

"He said Buffy did."  He put the herbs into it then brought it back, shaking it to mix.  "Wash twice with this, Xander.  All over, every crack of your body, even between your toes.  It should leach out the magic to flow out with the bubbles.  If not, we'll need better help."

"Sure.  Thank you, Dean."

"Not an issue."  He went back to the other room, looking at his father.  "You can't feel it when he's in the water."

John shrugged.  "We'll figure it out."

"We always do.  Do we have a comprehensive history on him?"

"I did some research into his rumored skills and background."

"Uh-huh.  We'll ask," Dean decided.  He walked back in there.  "Xander, why aren't you radiating in the water?"

"Could it be where I was exposed to mermaid blood and cells when I went undercover on the swim team?" he asked, sticking his head out.  "Do I do my hair with this?"

"Yeah, please."  He stared at him.  "Why did you have to go undercover?"

"They were being turned into bad B movie monster knockoffs."

Dean walked off shaking his head. "Mermaid taint?"

John considered it then nodded.  "Could do that," he admitted.  "Why?"

"The swim team was being made into bad B movie knockoffs he said.  He went undercover and got exposed to mermaid cells and blood somehow."

"Steam," Xander called.  "They had us doing saunas with it.  The blue bag has my copies of the classification manual we used plus a historical account in case something happened and I went hyena again."

Dean dug that out to read, frowning.  "Well, fuck," he muttered, handing pages over once he got done.  The mermaid section showed a copied page of what properties that might show up and how it was done.  "Someone had some science training."  He handed it over and kept going.  It had the Initiative stuff in there too.  He blinked at some of it.  "I knew Spike sounded familiar."

"William the Bloody," John agreed.  "Angel must be Angelus then."

"He drops the 'us' when he's got his soul," Xander said, coming out of the bathroom in a  towel.

"Did you use it twice?" Dean asked.

"Cleaned every inch, even my butt crack and between my toes, rinsed then repeated," Xander assured him.  "Am I still giving off an evil suntan?"

John nodded.  "Yeah, kid, you are."  He looked him over.  "How did you get that scar on your stomach?"

Xander looked down then at him. "Angelus."  He looked at Dean.  "Now what?"

"Full, Native purification ritual," John told him.  "Which we can't do because we don't have a sweat lodge nearby."

Xander frowned.  "No.  No dream quests around me.  I made Willow's go wrong.  She said so."  They both gave him odd looks.  "She went on one to try to find Oz and nearly got eaten by something on that side because I was anchoring her.  She told me to never go near the astral plane again because I was so dangerous to it.  It'd try to destroy me."

Dean nodded once.  Then he looked at his dad.  "Bobby?"

John nodded.  "He can do that.  We're going to send you to a person who's like a lighter version of your friend's watcher, Xander.  He can do the purification and make sure the astral plane doesn't trap or try to destroy you."

"I can make it there in three days," Dean pointed out.  "Four for mail."

John tried to call him.  No answer.  "If we can't get him tonight, I'll send you with a letter."  Xander nodded at that.  "Then you can decide if you want to keep hunting."

Xander nodded.  "That seems fair.  Thank you for helping me."

"Not a problem.  No one deserves to be glowing that much unless he chooses to," Dean said.  Xander grinned at that.  "Do you need to warn anyone?"

"Anya's still probably throwing a fit.  I left them a letter in Willow's mailbox.  If they give a damn, they'd call.  My number's local to them."

Dean nodded.  "That's reasonable.  Bobby's in South Dakota."

"Is he the guy you told Barry about?" Xander asked John, who nodded.  "That's kinda cool.  As long as he doesn't try to kill me on sight."

"He shouldn't.  Tell him you have a letter and let him read it.  Expect some holy water," John told him.

"It doesn't bother me.  I drank some last night when I ran into another succuba."

"And you're radiating this dark?" John asked.  Xander nodded.  "Priest blessed or simply from a cup in the church?"

"Both.  If we hit any of the churches for too much holy water the ministers complained.  So we took from this church and that church and mixed.  We didn't think it'd matter since Willow couldn't find a difference magically or even in holiness taint between any of the 43 churches."

"Your town has 43 churches?" Dean asked.  Xander nodded. "Why?"

"Hellmouth.  Bellybutton of evil power that can open and spill out creatures from other hell planes."

Dean shook his head at that, walking out of the room moaning.  He tried to call Bobby himself but there wasn't an answer either.  His father would handle it.  He was sure of it.

***

Xander pulled into the salvage yard and smiled when some older guy came out of the house with a shotgun.  He parked and got out.  "Don't shoot.  John Winchester sent me to you.  I've got a letter since he said you never answer your phone and US mail is too damn slow."

"Who're you?"

"Xander Harris.  I was helping the slayer in Sunnydale for a bit.  I met John on an ill-fated raodtrip after graduation."  He pulled out the letter and walked it over, hands in plain sight, then left it and backed back up to his driver's side door.  "It has the whole story.  Including what they tried to do to weed it out of me."

"My wards went off when you drove in the gate."

"I was born on the hellmouth, Mr. Singer.  I fought with our slayer for four years.  And yeah, John said I nearly gave him a tan from the evil I somehow soaked up.  No clue how unless something Willow did during her 'will' spell backfired even worse than we thought.  He said if you couldn't, Pastor Jim might be able to help me, or I'm bound for hell to light up their lives."

Bobby picked it up to read, looking at the bottom.  John always included a verification it was from him at the bottom after his signature.  He smirked at that tidbit.  He remembered that weekend a bit fuzzily but enough to know it was from him.  He read the note then looked at the boy.  "You'll submit to holy water?"

"I drank some and I'm still radiating.  But sure," he decided, shrugging some.  He put his hands in his pockets, making Bobby shift.  "Dude, the weapons are in the trunk.  All but a stake in the car."  He stepped away.  "Really.  You can search me as long as you don't grope."

"Not my thing, kid," he decided, coming down to check him.  Then he splashed him with holy water.  Nothing.  No lessening of the taint, like Dean had added.  Absolutely nothing.  Xander got him a vial and he sniffed then tried it.  Still nothing.  "What happened?"  Xander got into the car and handed him the file John and Dean had read through, letting him sit on his porch stairs to read while Xander sat on his hood.  He finally looked at the kid.  "Will spell?"

"Our witch was brokenhearted over her boyfriend leaving because he had killed another werewolf to protect her.  He went to find control of the wolf in Tibet.  Which he did.  He came back later but that was another problem.  Right after he was gone, Willow got drunk a few times, moped, then did a will spell to help control the pain she was in.  It went spectacularly sideways.  Buffy ended up nearly marrying William the Bloody.  She's our slayer."  Bobby winced at that.  "Our Watcher ended up blind.  I ended up a bigger demon magnet than usual.  They chased our asses all over the hellmouth because of it.  She got offered a spot on the Vengeance demon team because of it."  Bobby hissed and winced.  "If it wasn't that, I don't know what did it.  The Initiative didn't get me.  I wasn't like this when John met me on my roadtrip a year ago.  Maybe Spike did something to me while he was tied in my recliner and I was asleep.  I don't know," he said honestly.  "I know I don't need to radiate this way.  I nearly drove Dean to scratching his skin off before I left a few days back."

"You're making me do it too," he admitted, standing up.  "C'mon.  Let's start with the average purification."

"Did Dean put in there how it was lessened while I was under running water but came back just as strong when I got out?"

"Yup, all that."  He led him back to a small building behind his barn/work shed.  "Get in there, sweat.  We'll see what we can do tonight."

"Can I have some water?  I haven't had any in a few hours."

"Sure.  Tap fine?"

Xander shrugged.  "I don't care as long as it's not slime filled."

Bobby smiled a bit.  "You're easy to please."

"That's because my last girlfriend wasn't.  Oh, if you ever want to see Dean so totally horrified and speechless that he's nearly crying, let me tell him more about my ex, Anyanka."  Bobby gaped.   "She's human right now."

"Uh-huh.  How long was she not human?"

"Over a millennium.  We're still working on the human girl stuff.  She's a bit blunt, demanding, and wants sex more than anything but money."

Bobby turned on the sauna.  "Go in there, sweat as much as you can.  I'll get you some water."

"Are we going to try more holy water?"

"Not yet.  Later.  It could help then.  You're too full of taint now for it to dent it."  He let Xander walk in there and turned up the thermostat.  Then he went to get the poor guy some ice water.  Once the boy had it, he went back inside to call a witch he knew.  "Marilyn, Bobby Singer.  I've got a bad issue here at the salvage yard.  A young hunter.  Tainted so heavily holy water can't dent it.  No, them going off wasn't an attack.  John sent him to me for help when he couldn't.  Boy's no older than Sammy.  Sunnydale, why?"  He smiled, getting the information she had.  "It is Xander.  What's being said?"  He grimaced.  "That's stupid of them.  Sure.  He's in the sauna.  He wasn't sure it wasn't some sort of rebound from a witch's will spell she did to control her personal pain.  Yeah, that one.  Thanks.  Sure, I'm here.  It's gonna be a while."  He hung up and went to check on the boy.  He looked like he was trying to meditate.  "Don't do that yet.  It's easy to get trapped on the spirit plane."

Xander looked at him.  "I felt the hyena slip.  I'm trying to make sure she's caged again.  Inward searching, not outward."  That got a nod.  "By the look on your face, someone said something bad about me.  Who?"

"Your friends decided you were right to run.  They called you a subtle coward."

Xander snorted. "Yeah, because I didn't hunt with them."  He gave him a look.  "Great best friends, huh?"  He nodded.  "I'll call later."  Bobby tossed over his cellphone.  "You sure?"

"Could help to clear out that negative emotion.  All the new age people say so."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "You don't look like a fairy loving witch."  Bobby laughed and Xander called. "Spike, good.  Put me on speaker please?"  He waited until he heard the beep.  "For your information, ladies, I went to talk to someone because I found out I was carrying enough hellmouth taint to draw every demon in three states to me.  Like I did last night," he said coldly.  "Since that's probably because Willow fucked up another spell or Buffy had me take her place a few too many times on patrol, I can't think of *why* I left."  He paused while listening to the complaining.  "Oh, shut up," he sneered.  "I left because you girls are bitches.  You're bitches to me, you're bitches to Spike.  You're bitches to Giles.  Anya only wanted me for my dick and wallet.  Hell, Spike treated me better than you girls did.  I guess that's why you're *female*.  Maybe from now on I'll be gay.  It'll be better so I don't have to see if the rest of the world's women are like you.  Now, I'm having all the magic that's infecting me, hellmouth taint and Willow's, drained off since someone said I was radiating worse than the challis I found last week," he said dryly.

"The hunter I went to for help confiscated it and had it destroyed.  As to why I'm probably not coming back?  It had *nothing* to do with not wanting to hunt.  He's offered to find me someone to actually *train* me so I don't have any more issues with my fighting.  Like Giles could have and didn't.  Or like Buffy could have and didn't.  Pity but at least he's not trying to kill my ass like you two did.  Oh, and Willow, you might wanna watch out for other witches, dear.  The one I accidentally pulled last night with my taint said it was because you're going more evil than Ethan Rayne.  She's already talking to others about you and your evil little will spell and the evil little memory charm you tried to cast on me that didn't work and all that.  I hope like hell I don't have to come back to save your asses some day.  I've done that and I'm tired of the reruns.  So next time, get Angel to do CPR, Buffy, and then Willow can plan your next real battle for you.  Oh, by the way, Spike, even I can figure out how to short out your chip or have it removed.  Even if they can't and I'm supposedly dumber than both of them."  He hung up and tossed it back.  "Doesn't make me feel any better," he said after a few calming breaths.

"It will later, boy," Bobby assured him more gently.  "Did that witch say why?"

"No.  Just that I drew her from over sixty miles away.  She was a town's guardian and thought I was some big bad moving into town."

"Where?"

"Oxendale?  We talked for a few minutes to make sure I wasn't evil."

"Short blonde girl?"

"Rebecca.  I almost had a Buffy flashback."

Bobby nodded. "I know her.  I'll call to see if she found out anything.  Anyone else we can check with?"

"I dusted the three vamps.  I left the harmless ones alone.  There's a master who saw me, went pink, then left.  I don't know why."

Bobby nodded. "Let me check with her."  He went into the house to do that.  He knew of her.  He had her phone number in his book.  "Rebecca, Bobby Singer.  I got Xander sent to me by another hunter.  Did you find out anything?"  He listened, making notes.  "I've got Marilyn coming to help me.  He thinks it might've been the witch they worked with instead of natural occurring radiation."  He nodded, making another note.  "Thanks, Rebecca.  Yeah, we're doing a sauna now."  He frowned then made another note.   "I'll ask.  Thank you."  He hung up and went back out there.  "More than two possessions?"

"I only know about two."

"We'll see then," he decided.  He went to meet Marilyn when he heard her truck, stopping her before she got out to show her.  "He's so tainted holy water acted like a sprinkler.  Did nothing.  Sweating isn't making it any less."

She nodded, getting out.  "We'll see if it was magical or not.  If it was Rosenburg, she's getting at least one coven on her little redheaded butt."

"He just called to sneer."

"Make him feel better?"

"No.  But he shot back at them."  He handed over John's note, getting a grimace but a nod.  "Rebecca ran into him last night.  She thinks he's more possessed than he thought.  I've got his file."  He got it for her, letting her read it.

"Bobby, is the demonic raccoon dangerous?" Xander called.  "It's in here staring at me like I'm God."

"No, probably not unless it tried to bite," he called back.  He walked her that way.

She stared from the doorway.  "Well, hell, son.  You're a bit infected."  He looked up from petting the raccoon.  "Let the little creature go for now.  Let's drain you of some magic."

"I don't mess with magic unless ordered to.  The last time I tried it I accidentally set a book on fire by reading from it.  So unless Willow or Giles tells me to help I don't."

"We can drain all the native energy and magic off you, see where the rest is coming from," she assured him.  "You might feel a bit sick."

Xander looked at her.  "I've had food poisoning, broken bones, concussion, and it's got to be better than being turned or eaten, right?"  She nodded, smiling a bit.  "Then we can do that.  Tell me what I need to do and if I need the working clothes I've got in the car.  John made me buy new ones because he wasn't sure that mine weren't tainted too."

"No, you're going skyclad," she assured him.  "No barriers between you and the Mother."

"I like the moon more than the earth," he said quietly.

"We'll bless you to both tonight then.  For now, let's let the Earth Mother drain and filter for you."  He nodded, following her into the woods behind Bobby's house.   Bobby grabbed his shotgun and went to watch over them.  Just in case another, less than harmless demon, showed up.  The raccoon was shooed off again but that was fine with him.  The boy was retching onto the ground by the time she got done draining him as far as she could.  Then he went back over the exercise because even he could feel the taint now.

***

Xander looked up as Dean joined him.  "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hey."  He sat down across from him at the park picnic table.  "You decide if you want to keep hunting?"

Xander shook his head.  "I'm tired of death."

"I understand," he agreed. "I hit that point a while back."

Xander nodded, looking down then at him.  "I started to see it as stress relief, Dean. It's not healthy."

"Nope, it's not."  He looked him over.  "You're less tainted."

"It took them a week to weed me down to the point where blessing and holy water worked to dent the rest of the taint," Xander said quietly, staring at him, looking miserable.  "Bobby's now got a spot of unholiness in his woods."

"Did they say why?"

"Something else Willow botched turned me into a battery for her."  At least he hoped it was botched since it had been killing him.  "Marilyn and a few other witches were going to have a talk with her."

"Good!  They need to give her the foot-up-the-ass treatment for that.  You don't play with that stuff.  You learn then move carefully.  Like learning any other weapon or art."

Xander nodded.  "She went from floating things to sealing the stupid hellmouth."

Dean nodded. "That's too fast."

"No choice.  Giles couldn't."

"There's other witches.  Experienced ones.  He could have called."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "You okay?"

"Still pretty tired.  I didn't sleep for most of that week.  I had to sleep in the woods.  The last day of the draining made the center of his personal baby hellmouth.  The rest was the days before then."  Dean winced.  "I'm so exhausted.  She said it'll come back though."

"The taint?"

"No, my energy."  That got a nod and a slight grin.  "You okay?"

"I'm good.  A bit bruised from the last hunt but that's normal."

"I end up with a lot of concussions," Xander admitted.

"Did no one teach you how to brawl?" Dean asked.

"No, I learned by ducking to not get hit.  I pointed out Giles could have when I called to purge some bad feelings back at them.  Bobby suggested it might help."

"Did it?"

"Made me feel miserable for making Tara cry.  And for making Spike cackle.  I would like video of them going after Willow though."

"Me too.  Should be a pretty girl fight."  Xander grinned at that.  "So, you good?"

"For today.  I'll be less good tomorrow.  I sold a few artifacts that I found lying around to support myself for the next little while on top of my last paychecks and there's something I have to do, then I'll figure out where I'm going to hide from the vampires who want to pay me back for working with Buffy."

Dean nodded.  "You get into too much trouble, you call us."

"Yes, Dean."  He grinned a bit.  "You must be a great big brother.  I'd probably be a sucky one."

"You'd do fine.  Some day you'll be a dad and raise little hunters with ethics."

Xander smiled. "Maybe.  If that didn't sterilize me.  Marilyn wasn't sure when Bobby asked."

"If so, I'll go kick Willow's ass for you."  He punched him on the arm.  "Feel better.  Call if you need us.  We're heading to Idaho."

"Which still sounds really wrong when guys say it without that street accent," Xander quipped dryly, making Dean laugh as he walked off.  "Be safe.  You and your dad both."

"We do try," he shot back with a grin.

Xander went back to reading, considering how he was going to repay a major flaw on the karma scale that he hadn't protested going on.  Marilyn had agreed with him.  Sending Ethan to the Initiative was wrong on all counts and every plane of existence.

***

Xander looked up as the demon deposited the human he had stolen for him.  "Thank you."  He handed over the vial of tainted blood.  Bobby had taken seventeen small vials of it so he could use it in payment for information.  Xander had drawn another ten for his own use.  The demon disappeared and he turned to look at the human.  "You okay?"

"Why did *you* rescue me?" he asked dryly, staring at the boy.

"Lean on the car, Ethan. It's not warm."  He sagged against the hood.  "Need medical?"

"I've had some, thank you anyway."

"Giles taught me how to be a field medic.  I can stitch you or something if you need it."

"Where is dear, old Ripper?" he sneered.

"Fuck if I give a damn since he let Willow turn me into a battery for spells by soaking every cell in my body with hellmouth energy," he shot back calmly.  Ethan gaped then stood up.  "The witches and hunters who helped drain me are probably in their face about now."

"Why save me?"

"Because I started to realize I had ethics that disagreed with Giles.  It may've been expedient to give you to them but it wasn't right.  Especially since we knew what was going on."  Ethan's sneer turned worse.  "It wasn't my call but it's not right to leave you there.  It wasn't right to turn you over.  If I had any balls then I would've protested and that's my bad."

"Giles knew?"

Xander sighed, leaning on the hood of his car.  "Ethan, Buffy was dating Riley, the commander of the extraction team that brought you in," he said finally, looking over at him, arms crossed over his chest.  "I know what sort of gift I'm giving you by telling you that but it was Giles' karma that he screwed up by doing that.  I screwed mine by not protesting and not getting everyone else free when we went in to free Oz."

"The funny haired little werewolf?" he asked, looking confused.  Xander nodded.  "Why did they have him?"

"He came back from finding control of the wolf and found out that Willow had broken her promise to wait on him by dating a very nice, pure, white witch.  Who I will protect even from the group out there."

Ethan considered it.  "Then why rescue me now?  Why not sooner?"

"It took me a few days to heal from the week of draining my energy to get me clean," he admitted.  "Plus another few days to find you."

"A week?  That's unheard of."

"I created a baby hellmouth with the draining they did," he said quietly.  "No portal underneath but a spot of unholiness that'll end up attracting other bits of unholiness.  It's in the woods behind a hunter's house."  He looked at him.  "If you can find a way to destroy it for him, he might thank you."

"I'll consider it.  How do you want repaid?"

Xander smiled.  "I could use some help but I'm more than willing to pay for it."

Ethan gave him a look. "With?  I doubt I need money."  Xander got up and walked around to get something out of the car, holding up the book.  "What is that?"

"Circular Origami."

Ethan frowned.  "The one?"  He knew the book existed.  A former high priest of Janus had bound a bit of his essence into his copy when someone tried to interfere with a major work he was doing.

"In Giles' stored stuff from the library."  He let him feel it, test it.  Then he put it on the hood.  "I need to set things up so I don't have to worry about them coming for me, you coming for me, or the demons coming for me.  I need to make a simple wish and use good language that won't backfire on me.  If you can help me, since that book contains a bit of your god Janus, then I'll give you the book.  Freeing you was the right thing to do and it helped fix some of the wrongs I did.  If you don't, I'll try it myself and live with the consequences."

"You're going non-violent?"

"No.  I sat and actually thought about the hunting stuff after the Initiative finally went down when we called on the First Slayer."  Ethan gasped, turning to look at him better.  "We've already sent her on, Ethan.  She ripped out my heart a few times in dreams."

"You were which part?"

"The heart."  He grimaced.  "Then the girls went back to their 'Xander is a useless, normal guy who can't possibly do anything right' issues.  So I left."  He shifted some, putting his arms down.  "When I started to think, I realized I was starting to anticipate going out hunting.  That I was using it as stress relief because of them going back to that.  That I was doing it for the wrong reasons.  I don't want to end up doing it because I liked it.  I don't want to be some rabid little dog that has to be put down because some night I didn't want to tell the difference between a vamp and a teenager.  And I knew I was heading there."

"There are ways to stop that," Ethan said calmly.

Xander nodded.  "But I need time to get myself right before I even think about it."

"True.  Your wish?"  Xander handed over a piece of paper.  "That's a lofty goal."

"If I do, I can set myself up somewhere and not have to worry about things.  I'll have enough to pay for some good wards to go onto wherever I end up.  Hopefully somewhere I won't be sucked back into it.  When I finally get right again, I can go back to helping the hunters who helped me in a limited way.  I'll still be able to get a normal job and all that.  It'll keep me from the Feds noticing me so they don't come trying to recruit me like they did constantly after graduation."

"For the Initiative?"

"Don't know," Xander admitted, shrugging a bit.  "All I know is this one Fed kept coming in to recruit me.  Tried to blackmail me, tried to bribe me, all that."  He looked at him then down at the ground again.  "In the car are six other artifacts that needed to be taken off the hellmouth for safety reasons.   I had another few but they got confiscated and most were destroyed."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want them in the vampires' hands," he said honestly, looking at him again.  "I may not be ready to hunt right now but I'll be damned if I want them to call on something like Lucifer to start another apocalypse.  I'm not so sure they can handle another one."

Ethan grimaced.  "The girls are meant to, boy."

"Buffy was meant to be a trophy wife, Ethan.  She's got some brains and a lot of skills, but this life doesn't make her happy.  She called off patrol many times and I filled in then.  Back in high school for dates.  This last year she actually called off for homework.  Even Willow gave her funny looks for it."

"How was Ripper doing?"

"Drinking a lot.  Buffy hadn't been needing him.  They've been training her again so it might be getting better but Willow's going off the deep end.  They found memory charms and other spells on me."

Ethan shuddered.  "She's going closer to the darkness not even I can touch."

"Which is why the witches that helped me are gathering to go kick her around some."  Ethan smiled at that.  "You might point out and welcome her to the dark side."

"Oh, I shall.  I don't want her with Janus.  She might try to destroy him so she could take over."

Xander gave him a shoulder nudge.  "Janus didn't like lesbians and she's now one.  It might hurt Tara."

"Is she protected?"

"I asked Marilyn if they could help her first, before they went bitch on Willow.  She said they'd call her out first and help her then let her help them.  Since Willow sees her as something like a soul mate."

Ethan sighed but nodded.  "I'll help and I get to go free?"

"You're free now," Xander said.  "Even without the helping."

Ethan smirked.  "You're sure?  I could take the book and run."

Xander nodded. "But I can call my ex since she's back in Vengeance now and see if she'd do it for me since it'd make me leave the hunting faster and the dark might win in Sunnydale some year soon because of it."

Ethan stared.  "Ripper can plan."

Xander stared back.  "I planned graduation when Giles forgot to take into account the spectators.  I led the battle, I helped get the others up to speed on what was going on.  I did the most training I could with the overnight we had," he finished quietly.  "And I still lost a few of them."

"You cannot beat yourself up for that."

"If I had seen it sooner I would've had them better prepared."

"That wasn't your job, Alexander.  He's the adult and the watcher.  It was his job."

"Technically he had been fired.  It was Wesley's job."

Ethan moaned, then shook his head.  "It's still not your fault.  They could have said no."

"It was their families on the line too."

"They could have kept them from there."

Xander nodded. "What if's are great, but I still didn't look at the plans until the day before and didn't find out he hadn't taken major problems into account until then.  I could have.  I didn't.  I was too busy being a pain in the ass to make sure I could graduate too and helping him move the library into storage."

Ethan sighed.  "It's still not your fault."

"I led it, I planned it, even if it being late wasn't totally my fault, I still got them killed because it was my battle plan.  I was the general and I had to make decisions.  Those decisions and where I put people got them killed."

Ethan nodded.  "Which every good commander probably feels."

Xander stood up.  "That was the last time I felt guilt about a hunt or something like it," he admitted.  "Will you help me, free and clear?"

Ethan sighed but nodded.  "I'll take those artifacts too."

"As long as you keep them safe, don't use them, and destroy them if necessary.  No one knew what two were but they felt more evil than I was."

"If necessary," he agreed.  "Have a pen?"  Xander found one for him and he reworked the wording for him.  "There, wish for that."  Xander laid a hand on the book, mumbling his wish.  The bag appeared at his feet, making Ethan wince when he tried to pick it up.  "That is a lot of money."

Xander smiled.  "It has to last me an awfully long time."  Ethan nodded so Xander lifted it into the backseat.  "I was working construction," he said at the odd look he got.

"Uh-huh.  Another possession?"

"Marilyn and Rebecca both found more than I thought I had but I don't remember them thanks to Willow and her magical herb memory loss system.  I'll never recover them and there's no way to tell anymore."

Ethan grimaced, running a hand over the boy's head.  "She's right," he decided.  "She wiped it."  Xander nodded. "Are you missing other memories?"

"No one's sure."  That got a grimace.  "As long as I wasn't used to father a child, no one comes up to me to yell about something I did that way, or something like that I'll deal with it."

"Fine.  As long as someone deals with her.  I'll welcome her to the less than light side later tonight."

"Watch out for Giles.  If they're there, he's in the crossfire too for letting her do that."

"I'll call," he promised, taking the bag with the artifacts.  He looked then at him, holding up one.  "The Grootenburg Challis?"

"Yeah, one of the plant demons had it and was feeding his young from it to make them rabid.  I didn't think it'd be a good idea to leave a damned challis used for blood magic with him.  They might've come after me as a snack."

Ethan nodded at that, looking at the others.  He held up a small mirror.  "To?"

"That's one we couldn't identify but we know it's magical and evil."

Ethan looked then blushed.  "Depends on your definition of evil."  He put it back and looked at the others, nodding.  "I'll hide them or destroy them."

"Don't let the watchers have them?"

"Of course not.  They're bloody idiots," he said bitterly.

"With their head stuck up their asses," Xander agreed.  "Doesn't mean they aren't pushy."

"Too true.  I'd watch out for them if I were you."

Xander smiled and pointed at the compound he had rescued Ethan from.  "They haven't come out yet."  He pulled out the car keys.  "Need a ride?"

"No, I'm good."  Xander snapped his fingers and got something else out, handing it over.  "What's this?"

"The clothes Willow had me wear when I was helping her with spell stuff.  We found out it's about a tenth of how tainted I was."

Ethan cast the spell to tell him the taint on it and winced.  "Bloody hell," he muttered. "Thank you, boy."

"Welcome.  Try not to destroy the world?"

"I can't have fun if I do that."  He walked off, sending himself to Ripper's place, startling the witch in there with him. "Ripper, love," he sneered, holding up something.  "I was just handed this by someone.  It's got some of the taint the boy carried on him."  Giles snatched it to do the same test and went totally pale.  Paler than a vampire pale.  He was shaking and looked like he wanted to be sick.  "Also, the boy admitted that draining him created a baby hellmouth as he put it so blandly."  He sneered. "Let's hope your karma is proportional to his shall we."  He disappeared, taking the artifacts and book with him.  Once he made it home, he put the book on his altar and prayed to the taint it carried.  He felt his god answer and that he was pleased.  "As you will it, Lord Janus.  Thank you for rewarding that one for saving me.  He did deserve it."  His god still felt pleased so he left it there, going to destroy the artifacts before they could be used by some demon with a yen to destroy the world.  Because that would suck and he couldn't plan the pretty chaos for Janus if the world was gone.

***

Twenty-six days later, Xander knocked on a motel room door, looking at John.  "I can't not hunt," he said, looking at him.  "If I don't, people die."

"Someone gets the evil things, Xander."

Xander shook his head.  "I was having dinner when the police scanner spat out a report of a burglary.   I had ignored the bad feeling I got earlier.  Because I ignored it seven people died when demons ripped into a sorority house."

"You couldn't have stopped them."

Xander nodded. "I could have.  They're not that hard to stop.  They were clearly not human.  I had to stop the ones that were trying for the cops because I answered that call too," he said, looking totally miserable.  "And they asked why I hadn't stopped them earlier.  I told them I didn't know but I kinda did and I don't know what to do.  I'm getting to the point where I won't discriminate on targets."

"If you feel bad about that, you will," John said firmly.  He let him inside.  "Dean's off playing pool for motel money."  He sat him down.  "You have a conscience and a soul, Xander.  As long as you have them, you won't become someone who doesn't care about collateral damage."  Xander gave him the most pathetic look.  "Stop it, now.   You're not god, you're not a slayer, and you can't save everyone.  None of us can.  We all had to get that though our heads, Xander."

Xander stood up.  "I could have gone to see why my instincts were screaming."

"True, and you could've not stopped.  You're playing in what-ifs again.  What would've happened if you hadn't been in the town at all?"

"More deaths."

"Then why did you stop there?"

"I was hungry and it had places to eat.  Totally random."

"No instinct pulling you there?  Nothing to make you want to stay there?"

"A need for pie."

John sat the boy down again, staring at him.  "When the ones you hunted before killed, were you responsible because you missed one?"  Xander shrugged.  "The answer is no, Xander.  You can't be responsible for the bad things doing bad things.   Not if you want to live.  That way leads to heavy drinking, drugs, or suicide."

"Then why didn't I step in?"

"Because you weren't looking for demons.  You were going to find somewhere to heal and make yourself back down from the point you were on.  Bobby told me."

Xander nodded.  "I talked about it with him before I left his place.  I'm still sorry about the baby hellmouth in his woods."

"He said someone showed up to clean it.  Someone English who was a witch.  Your watcher friend called them and said to tell him he was sorry for not stopping her."  He looked at him.  "It's not your fault."  Dean walked in.  "Ask the smartass there if you don't believe me."

"What happened?"

"He stopped to get something to eat and ran into demons trashing a sorority while he was eating.  He had a funny feeling earlier but he didn't follow up.  He did when the cops got attacked.  They tried to blame him too."

Dean grimaced.  "The last time I knew you weren't Jesus, Xander.  Only he's responsible for what people do.  So unless you're a reincarnation, quit beating yourself up."  He made Xander look at him.  "Really.  Not even we could've known to stop it."  Xander nodded, giving him a trusting look.  "What else is going on in your pointy head?"

"The doctors fixed the point the forceps gave me," he said weakly, trying to smile.

Dean smirked.  "Only on the outside.  And?"

"I realized if I don't, more people will die.  No one's going to take my place.  I see things that others don't."

Dean nodded.  "That's a hard realization.  Sammy had that one too but he figured we would find someone to take his place on the team.  It'll take some training but you might end up able to do it."

Xander gave him a weak, sad smile.  "I don't want to turn into one of those people who need a muzzle and kept in the funny cage, Dean."

"So you won't be.  With training and consideration that lessens.  Dad used to have that problem and he helped fix it when I started to see it less as retribution and more as a sport.  You didn't get the training you need to see that it's not like that.  All you knew was that you jumped in because you were in pain and you kept pushing that pain out through the end of the stake."

"Then you realized you could weed out other pains that same way," John agreed.  "No one ever told you what you now realize.  Your watcher should have.  He nearly ruined you, kid."

"I'm not his slayer."

"You were one of his team.  Others say you're like his children.  A good commander teaches things as well as commands."

"I was the battle planner.  Giles kinda sucked at that."

"Not all commanders plan and not all planners end up in command positions," John countered.  He stared at the boy.  "You have my word, Xander.  If you turn rabid, we'll stop you."  Xander slumped, nodding at that.  "Good.  We're about to move on tomorrow.  We only stopped to find a new job.  We don't have one yet so we were going to look for a small place to rent for a month until we found one."

Xander looked at him.  "I have some money in the car.  I can help."

John smirked.  "Poker?" he teased.

"When I saved Ethan, I bribed him with a book that held a part of Janus in it for him to help me make a small wish.  Free and clear of the saving.  That was to repair some karma I screwed by not complaining about Giles handing him over.  So I have some money at the moment."

Dean gave him an awed look.  "You found a book with part of Janus in it?"

"Ethan's his high priest.  I found it in Giles' collection that we had to remove from the library."

"Damn.  What else is in there?" John asked.

Xander shrugged.  "I've got a book list somewhere but I don't think I packed it."

John and Dean shared a look.  "Someone should look."  Dean nodded his support.  "Do you think the witches got out there yet, Xander?"

"Yeah.  Buffy called crying earlier about what they shoved back at her and how mean they were to Willow.  So I told her what they had found on me.  She went to help them fix Willow because they're friends."

"Did she apologize?" Dean asked.  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"She said I was right, this was better for me than being their whipping boy and I had made a good decision."

John snorted.  "Not counting why you made it?"  Xander shook his head.  "She'll learn."

"She's already overloaded.  She's lasted longer than any other slayer ever," Xander pointed out.

"Because you brought her back to life," John countered.  "Then you and Willow helped her."

Xander nodded. "And now she doesn't have that.  She's overloaded."

"Are you willing to go back?" Dean asked.

Xander considered it then shook his head.  "If it was an emergency.  An apocalypse and they needed *me* to help.  Or they needed more hands to stop it and more hunters were going.  Not just to go back to patrolling and that stuff.  I don't think I could stand the nightly combat.  We made it a rule to take time for fun stuff but I was so tired.  Construction work, then Anya, and patrolling.  The quarterly apocalypses.  Problems with Willow.  I was exhausted."

"You looked it," John agreed.  "When I saw you, I thought you had driven without a nap, Xander."  He patted him on the head.  "We'll go somewhere and work on your training.  Dean could use a few refresher courses anyway.  Then we'll see what you can bring to our style of hunting."  Xander let out a soft smile and John grinned back.  "How much do you have?"

"Enough to bail OJ out of jail?" he offered sheepishly.  "I was planning on having to live on it for a long life.  Buying good wards to set up on the place, finding somewhere safer and without a lot of demons.  Well away from Watchers."

"Then you can pay your own way and we'll come to you for emergencies," John said, smiling at the boy.  He did show some planning capabilities.  Xander gave him a confused look.  "It's not right for a man to not pay his own way, Xander."

"Ass, grass, or gas, no one rides free?" he asked.

Dean nodded.  "Just about, yeah."  He looked at his father.  "Where did we want to set up?  Kansas?  Near Bobby since he likes him already?"

"Look it up online tomorrow, Dean.  We'll figure that out before we head out of town."  Dean nodded, claiming his bed.  "Go get a room, Xander.  We'll see you at breakfast.  Six sharp."

"Yes, John.  Night."  He left, going to get his own room and haul everything inside so it'd be safer with him.  He laid down and looked up, smiling at the ghost.  "Hi, Mr. Ghosty Casper.  Are you friendly?"  It floated down, studying him.  "I'm not mean.  I promise I'm not."  It blew around him then smiled and faded out.  That's when he felt the fingers come up against his back.  He yelped and got up, looking at the body coming up out of the mattress.  Someone pounded on his door so he let Dean and his shotgun in.  "Dean, meet my recent ex, Anyanka.  Anya, this is Dean.  He and his father are going to be doing some training with me."

She studied him then shrugged.  "Are you any good in bed?"

"Yeah, but my dad would kick my ass if I slept with a demon."

She smirked. "Then go away, Dean."  He gave her a dirty look but shook his head.  "Xander is still mine."

"I could've sworn I broke up with you," he said dryly, looking at her.  "Shoo.  Go answer some teenage girl's distress call."

"Not even casual sex?" she pouted.  "I could use some non-clingy but good orgasms, they give me good evil ideas.  You could use it too because you're pouting.  It would be good and I won't even tell them where you are."

Xander blinked at her.  "You'll want more.  You always did.  That's why you ended up moving in with me."

She pouted worse. "Just one last night?"

John strolled in and threw something on her, making her fade out with a quiet shriek.  "Dean, stay in here to guard him.  You can nap next to him if you have to."  He looked at Xander.  "While you're training with us, no dating demons."

"Tell her that.  I didn't ask.  The ghost saw her first."

"Ghost?" Dean asked.

"Mr. Casper?" Xander called quietly.  It faded in, looking curious.  "Is she coming back?"  It nodded.  "Then I'm really sorry if we have to make a mess."  It smiled and patted him on the head before disappearing again.  "See, he's a nice ghost and he saw her first."

John just nodded and walked out, heading back to his room.  "Guard him, Dean."

"Yes, sir."  He closed the door and looked at the bed then at Xander.  "Let's sleep.  I'll make sure she can't molest you in your dreams."  Xander blushed.  "I slept next to Sammy plenty of times and never molested him," he said patiently.  "Even when I was a teenager and he was too horny because he started to work."

Xander blushed brighter.  "I'm not your brother, Dean."

"Yay you.  You'll get there.  Get comfy.  I will be."  He stripped back down to his boxer briefs, t-shirt, and socks.  Then he climbed in.  Xander stripped down to his cartoon boxers and climbed in.  Dean smiled at the younger boy's back since he was turned the other direction.  "Night."

"Night.  Sorry if I cuddle.  She complained a lot about that."

"I don't care.  Sammy wiggled all night."  He turned off the lights, leaving the shotgun between them.  He was almost fully asleep when the voice started next to his ear.

"You could sleep with him.  It might make him happy," it whispered.  Dean bopped it on the head with a fist, making her hiss in pain.  "You could.  He's very good in bed and it would make some people happy to watch.  I like voyeurs, they're fun sorts and let me join in."

Dean opened his eyes to look at her, then punched her.  "Go away," he snarled.  "Trying to sleep here.  Six comes really early."  She pouted.  "Tough!  Go be a slut somewhere else!  Xander's under Winchester protection now."

She gave him the dreaded puppy eyes look she had tried to learn off Xander.  "I only want him happy.  He gave me many orgasms; it's not his fault Willow and Buffy went cranky and drove him off.  Even D'Hoffryn said I can't blame him for that.  Them I can make miserable but Xander deserves some happiness since he gave me such nice orgasms.  Eleven hundred years is a long dry spell."

"I'm sure it is," Dean agreed, flipping onto his side.  "If Xander wants my ass, he can ask.  I'm not molesting him.  I didn't do Sammy when we had to share a bed.  I'm not doing Xander because we have to so I can protect him from you."

"Poo."

"I don't like honey that much.  I prefer chocolate."

"Which is nice when it's licked off you," she said, staring off into space with a scary, happy smile.  "That was a fun weekend."

Dean groaned, shaking his head.  "Go away, Anya.  We've got to be up really early."

"But..."

He glared.  "If we go there some day you can watch."

She sulked.  "But I never got to see him do that.  He wouldn't take Larry up on his offer.  He didn't get any at the strip club your father found him at.  The demon porn was only girls doing him, and it was very hot.  It's what made me come back to him.  That and how good he was after the prom for four hours."

"That means he'll have stamina when Dad runs drills with him," he said impatiently. "Shoo!"

"Fine.  Can't I just watch a bit?"

"I'm not having him tonight."

"Meany."  She disappeared.  She waited until Dean was asleep this time and came back to snuggle her Xander.  He instinctively held on and it was nice.  She didn't like to cuddle but she could talk him into sex when his nightmares woke him up.  Unfortunately Dean felt her after a few seconds and got her with the knife he had put under his pillow, making her fade off to get the wound treated.  She didn't like blessed knives.  They were mean to her.  She started to come back later but Dean woke up enough to cock the shotgun and she left.  There was no telling how much that would hurt in her demon form.

***

Dean blinked at the man trying to wake him up.  "No more demon ho?"

"What?" his father asked, looking amused.  "Did another succubus come for him?"

"His ex.  Four times!"

Xander frowned at him. "Four?"

"Including the first one.  Yeah."  He made himself sit up and check his gun, putting the safety back on.  Then he looked at Xander.   "You did demon porn?"

"It let me leave the strip club."

"Did you strip?"

"Twice.  I was mortally embarrassed and the women tried to grope when I didn't want them to.  I had many bruises and I made crap tips because I suck at it.  Do we need to keep going here?  What did Anya want?"

"Sex."

"Oh.  That."  He nodded.  "She had a long dry spell."

"While I feel sorry for her, it can taint you, Xander," John said patiently.  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "I need to ask, are you still innocent?  Because that can draw things to you too."

Xander shrugged.  "I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Dean asked.

"Willow erased some of my memories," he reminded him.  "Since the alternate universe vamp Willow would jump anything, even a tree, I'm not so sure she didn't take lessons when she ran here the second time."

"Alternate universe vampire Willow," John said, thinking about that phrasing.

Dean got to the point.  "Huh?"

"Cordelia made a wish to Anya before she got turned human.  She wished that Buffy hadn't shown up in Sunnydale.  Bam, instant alternate reality.  Willow and I were both turned.  I was a favorite childe of the Master.  She was my childe.  We were both torturing Angel for his soul crap.  No one was there to stop the harvest.  Then it was broken and Anya's power center was broken, which meant she was human again after eleven hundred years as a demon.  A really long dry spell for sex.  Then the vamp Willow showed up another time and she was a creepy, leather wearing, hitting on anything that moved vamp.  Who might've been a warning message," he admitted.

"How did she show back up?" John asked patiently.

"Anya talked Willow into trying to get her power center back.  It summoned vamp Willow and she was running loose for a bit."

Dean rubbed his forehead.  "Dad, next time she shows up, you drive her off."  He went back to their shared room to shower and change clothes while Xander finished getting ready for the day and hiked all his stuff back to the car.  Dean finally came down with his bag.  "Okay, after breakfast, I go to the library to look up places for rent.  You two look at what else he brought with him.  I'll call when I find something?" John nodded that worked for him.  "You can even give Xander the same rules of conduct, like no dating demons since he only seems to date girls like that."

"I dated Cordelia, she was human and a cheerleader," Xander offered with a grin.

"We were in LA last month," John said dryly, patting him on the back.  "We stopped in to see her and tell her we had seen you, helped you, and you were doing okay.  You need better taste, Xander."

"She was nice enough while we were groping.  And hey, I got the love spell canceled," he said with a bright, happy grin.  "Even if I was stupid to let Amy do it in the first place."

"We'll talk about that wherever we end up tonight," John told him, letting Xander get into his car.  "We're headed for the waffle place."  Xander beamed and nodded, backing out to go there.

Dean grinned from his car's side.  "And you thought Sammy was bad," he taunted with an evil smirk.  "Thanks for the new brother; I'm sure we'll get along just fine."

John smirked back.  "That's good.  You can help him drive off all the demons who want his ass, Dean."  He got into his truck to drive after the new student.  Dean could grumble in his own car for a while.

***

A few days later they pulled up in front of the place they had rented.  It was a small cabin in the woods.  It was dirty, nearly falling in, and had barely running water, but it was private and the owner thought they were using it for deer hunting this year, which was fine with him.  Even if deer season didn't start for another four months.  Dean looked at the cabin then at his father.  "This is a wreck."

Xander stopped and got out, looking around the building.  "It's structurally sound but damn the outside's falling in.  Did anyone else notice the owner had on a necklace that was the Mark of Osiris?"

John and Dean both looked at him.  "Seen one?" John asked casually.

"Looked at them for Willow's birthday last year," he admitted.  "She does the magic stuff."  He waved a hand.  "Bedrooms?"

"Two.  You can share with Dean, Xander."  He nodded, starting to haul things into the house.  Dean came over to look at the weapons, and when he laughed John came over.  "What's wrong?"

"No guns."

"Guns aren't practical on the hellmouth," Xander said as he came back out.  He opened up a bag and tossed something out.  "Taser?  I stole it off one of the Initiative guys."  He smirked.  "I didn't get to get my battle axe.  I miss it."

"It's an impractical weapon unless you're on horseback," John said patiently.

"Actually it's very practical and it's blessed silver coated.  I used it more than I did a sword in Sunnydale."

"You guys used swords?" Dean asked.  "Like real swords, not machetes?"  Xander nodded.  "How did you hide them?"

"The PD out there doesn't really care," he admitted. "Except for the dirty cops who were in the mayor's pocket before he died.  Then he had them convinced we were the bad guys."

Dean shook his head.  "Back on topic," he said.  "Battle axes can't do anything a regular axe can't."

"They can cut deeper and I haven't seen a regular axe that was silver coated yet," Xander pointed out.  "Plus it's the weapon I'm most familiar with after my crossbow and stakes."

Dean blinked.  "You used stakes?"

"To get vamps, yeah.  On our nightly patrols even."  He grinned and pulled out one.  "See?"  He dropped it back into the bag and hauled it inside, then came to get the last two bags, wincing a bit.  "Sorry, a bit heavy."

Dean tried to help but he had to let it go.  "How do you do that?"

"I worked construction."  He found his cellphone, then piled everything else in the corner.  He walked outside to check for a signal then muttered something and found one.  "I did learn one or two things from Willow," he admitted at John's odd look.  "Including cellphones are cheaper than satellite phones and she can draw a signal to hers."  He called.  "Giles, me.  No.  I want my battle axe and I sent you money to pay for my storage area.  Yeah, that one.  Does she need it?  Because it's my baby, Giles.  It's the one I always took on patrol.  I've bleed and sweated on that blade and I'm the only one who seems to be able to sharpen the thing.  Please?  Mail it to...."

"Special delivery here in the town," John ordered patiently.

"To me here special delivery, no that's instead of a PO Box.  Heaven's Tooth, Kansas.  Don't know.  I'm sure someone can find it online.  Thank you.  No, I sent you one.  Just have one of them drop it off.  That way Anya can't get into my Star Trek stuff and sell it off on me.  Thank you."  He hung up.  "He said he'd check it for the same magical contamination I had before he sends my baby."  He went to restack things, smiling when he found Dean staring in awe in the bag.  He rezipped it.  "The favor.  It was going to have to last me a human version of forever."  Dean gave him a confused look.  "Humans have less of forever.  Vampires mean longer when they say forever.  Spike and I got into a late night discussion one night over some sappy crap he was watching on PBS to remind him of home."  He looked at his bags then at Dean.  "Need help?"

"Sure, you get the weapons."  They went to empty the Impala's trunk and pile it next to Xander's assorted crap.  "You have a storage area?"

"For the bigger stuff.  Furniture, Star Trek stuff, most of the rest of the weapons.  Someone had to take care of the crossbows for Giles."  John gave him another odd look.  "He was busy being a watchery book sort.  So I sharpened, I cleaned and kept strung, and I carved stakes."

"Did you guys not need to use guns?" John asked.

"Well, we had to use the rocket launcher in the mall to get the Judge," he admitted.  "But that wasn't something I stole a lot of from the National Guard.  We only took three."

John shook his head.  "Rocket launcher?"

"Yeah, to kill the Judge since Angelus put him back together again and he was going to eat humanity.  I got it for her but she fired it."

John frowned then nodded once, walking off again.  "Okay.  We'll work on gun things later, see where you are on them, Xander."

"Okay.  Are you going to unscrew my hand-to-hand?  Spike said I'm pitiful and I'm tired of tripping into headstones with my head."

"Sure," John agreed, smiling at him.  Anya appeared with the battle axe and a box.  "What's that?"

"Books for Xander.  It has shielding and stuff; Giles said it was important since he probably is going to have problems with that stuff."  She handed over the box to Dean then the axe to Xander.  "He said you're right, you contaminated it and it reeks of your soul."  She smirked.  "Can I at least have oral sex?"

John growled.  "Go away, Anyanka.  He can't date you while he's with us."  She pouted.  "Tough!"  She disappeared.  He looked at the axe the boy was cuddling, noticing Dean was trying hard not to grin at the cute look on Xander's face.  "Is it your kitty?" he taunted dryly.

Xander looked up then nodded.  "It's the only pet I've ever had."  He went back to cuddling it.  It was comforting to him.

Dean gave it a gentle tug after handing his father the box of books.  "Let me see it?"  Xander let him see it and it was heavy.  "How do you use this thing?"

"Not that hard."  He went outside.  "Willow told me I can't play with it inside," he called when they didn't follow.  "Giles too when I nearly killed a bookcase.  Oooh!  A Rumion!"

They went outside to watch him spar with the demon that was coming up the driveway.  He wasn't too bad.  More bouncy than needed.  The demon wasn't trying too hard but it was fine.  He let the demon go when it gave up and ran off.  "Is it harmless?" John called.

Xander came jogging back, nodding and grinning. "Mostly, as long as you establish dominance priority.  I assured him we weren't here to take over the pack's lands, just to habitate for a while."

Dean nodded, taking the axe back to look over.  "It's a well-crafted weapon, but you can't carry it on a run through the woods."  Xander looked confused but nodded. "You can?"

"I've carried it on many runs through the woods and cemeteries and even the school once.  It was with me at graduation."  He took it back and put it with his stuff.  Then he grinned at them.  "That's what I'm used to, guys.  Guns wouldn't work for us on patrol.  Even if you could make a good enough wooden bullet."

John nodded.  "We can help you merge the two styles, Xander."

"Cool."  He grinned.  "Guns?  Or did you want to work on hand-to-hand stuff since I saw Dean's look at my lack of form and style?"

"Let's start there," John decided.  If only to wear the bounciness out of the boy.  He was perfectly normal on patrol. "Relax, kid.  We're not going to yell at you because you weren't trained."

Xander frowned at him.  "This is me, John.  I channel the energy into my incredible focus on patrol."  Dean groaned.  "The hyena left me with some slightly heightened senses.  Nothing vamp high or anything but slightly better than average.  I can hear Dean's car coming a few thousand feet away," he finished with a bright grin.

"I've seen that problem with his music in the past," John admitted.  He looked at Dean.  "Go ahead and test him like you would Sammy."  Dean jumped Xander and he switched back to serious, working against him.  A few moves made John wince.  One made Dean wince when Xander got him in the inner thigh but it was a legal move and a good one if you had to use it.  Then Xander sped up and it was better for Xander.  John sighed.  He had been fighting things that were stronger and faster and had to adapt to that so he could get them.  It didn't capitalize on his body's natural grace.  That's why Xander was tripping.  Which he did and brought them both down.  Dean flipped over so he was on top.

"Now what, bright boy?" Dean taunted with an evil smirk, trying hard not to pant.

"Now, well, it depends on if it was a vamp,  Anya doing that, or someone like Faith.  Faith would probably try to get some.  Anya too but she liked straps.  The vampires would be trying to bite so I'd have to push their head off and use my free hand to grab something."  He grabbed a nearby stick and poked Dean with it hard until he yelped.  Then he scrambled up and got him from behind.  "See?" he said proudly.

"You need about half as much work as I put into Dean and Sammy's training," John told him.  "Not bad for training yourself but there's ways of training yourself to fight the faster things without making yourself go as fast as they are, which makes you trip."

"Is that why I fell into six different graves the night I went hyped up on chocolate?" Xander asked.

John nodded quickly.  "Yes.  Too bouncy is bad for you.  Really."  He smirked at Dean.  "Work on the standard counters for now.  Let me empty the truck."  Dean nodded, pulling Xander off to work on the standard moves.  "Xander, no speeding up."

"Yes, John."  He shrugged at Dean. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, not really.  You weren't trying to hurt me.  Which is a very good sign.  Did you want to stake me?"

"I kept reminding myself you weren't a vampire."

"Good.  That shows you're not as far gone as you thought."  Xander gave him a shy smile and attacked again.  "Wrong foot for your balance, Xander.  Watch."  He showed him in slow motion then did it the way Xander had.  "See, that's more tripping into them than lunging to grab."  Xander nodded, doing it right.

***

Later that night John put down his book and looked at the boy.  "Not sleepy?"

"No.  I'm used to being up later and then getting up for work."  He looked at him as he carved a stake then went back to it.

"Needed something to do?"  Xander nodded.  "You could read."

"I don't like books that much.  Research makes my head hurt."

"Fun reading, Xander?" he suggested.

"They're in storage.  I thought useful books were better."  He shrugged a bit.  "I'll pick more up sometime."

John shifted to look at him.  "You don't have to stay up.  You could go rest."

Xander looked at him.  "My body's not used to sleeping that long.  Every once in a while to catch up after an apocalypse but mostly I patrolled until one or two, went home to eat and please Anya, then went to bed and got up at seven to make it to work on the construction site."

"That's not good for your body."

"It's gotten used to it over four years.  I've never slept a long time," he admitted quietly, going back to his carving.  "It took me four months to get a perfect point on one of these.  Too dull of a point and it's harder to stake with for me or Willow.  Buffy has super strength so she can stake with a coke can if she needs to."

John took the stake and tossed it into the fireplace.  "You can't compete with Buffy.  She's born special with special gifts.  Us normal guys have to rely on training.  Her gifts can leave her, or confuse her, or even get her killed if she doesn't train with them.  Dean and I can both fall back on our training even when we're half asleep."  Xander nodded that he understood that.  "Your body still needs to recharge to be at its best."

"I never slept a long time, John."

"Why not?"

"My parents were kinda loud," he said calmly.

"Partying with the neighbors loud or drunken loud?" he asked.

"Mostly the second.  The neighbors were mostly disgusted by their drinking habits."

John nodded. "I can see how that would mean you didn't sleep a lot.  You're not tired?"

"No.  In the morning I'll need a cup of coffee but it really helps my bouncing."  He shrugged.  "The doctor suggested it."

Dean came out to look at Xander.  "How many hours of sleep do you get a night average?"

"During an apocalypse?  I'm good with a few hours here and there throughout the week while we research, plan, get things we need, that stuff.  Then I have dinner and crash after the battle.  During normal hunting season?  Four, maybe five hours a night.  During the summer slowdowns, usually about the same I just substitute some fun stuff instead of the extended patrol we do.  We spend more time hunting at the Bronze than we do in the cemeteries.  Anya usually cut into that by about an hour for sex."

Dean blinked.  "Most people need six-to-eight hours a night," he said patiently.  "Sammy needed ten most nights."

"Yeah but I'm not normal or most people.  My body grew up this way.  Even when I was younger I didn't really sleep all that often, Dean."  He stood up.  "I can go lay in bed and think if you guys want."

John shook his head. "It's fine if you want to stay up, Xander.  We're worried that you're wearing your body out with this lack of sleep."

"It's always been that way.  My mother said I never slept as a baby either.  Always up and wanting something."

John frowned.  "All babies are like that, Xander.  If not there's something wrong."  Xander shrugged at that.  "Try to rest tonight.  We're going to be wearing your body out while we work on your training.  Then we'll see what your body really needs.  You might not need the coffee anymore."

Xander looked at him.  "Only if you want to see me bounce."  That got a knowing look.  "Really."

"We'll try it and see tomorrow."  Xander nodded, heading for his bed.  He looked at Dean.  "He'll probably have some nightmares," he said quietly.

"That's what woke me up."  He went back to his own bed, laying down to watch Xander strip down and climb in.  "Relax and let your mind drift," he said when he realized the boy was arguing with himself over something.  "It's the fastest way to let yourself sleep when you don't think you need it."  Xander nodded, doing that.  Within minutes the boy was snoring worse than Sammy did but that was to be expected.  Differences were to be expected.  Xander wasn't Sammy.  For one thing he wore horrible clothes.  They'd have to fix that.  He really would.  Before he got blinded.

***

John watched the boys spar a few days later.  He had cut Xander off caffeine for two days and Xander was an uncoordinated, bouncy, hyper, frustrated, violent young man.  "Dean, give him a soda," he called.  Dean got one from his car and handed it over.  Xander gulped and sighed in pleasure.  "One a morning, kid.  If you need more, you needed more sleep."  Xander nodded, going back to it.  It took about a half hour but his bounciness did slowly calm down.  He smiled, going back to fixing the gun grip he was working on.  Dean was doing good teaching the boy.  Even if they were going over what the kid should've learned to defeat bullies.  "Xander, when the bullies came for you what did you do?"

"I ducked, I protected Willow, or I picked up a rock and threw it at them."  He looked at him and ducked Dean's punch attempt.  "Why?"

"No one taught you what to do about them?"

"My father said only sissies were plagued by them and if I needed more help than that then I clearly wasn't his son and I needed to toughen up."  He walked off.  "I'm going to cool down."

"Sure," Dean agreed, watching him go.  He finally sat down beside his father.  "His parents were what?"

"Drunks."

Dean nodded.  They had seen a few of those as parents.  "Think he'll be okay?"

"I think it's a slow process but he'll slowly learn that other people see him as more than his muscles.  The girls hurt him as much as his parents did, even if one of them did raise him."  Dean looked at him.  "Willow raised him, Dean."  That got a nod.  "So we're going to see what's underneath all that when he finally gets over his anger at them," he finished more quietly.  Xander was nearby.  "You can practice sneaking but the kiddy rules apply, Xander.  If I call you show up again."  No answer.  He frowned, getting up and going to look for the boy.  He found the demon that had snuck up on him and shot him.  That ended that demon.

Dean knelt to wake Xander up.  "Snuck up on you?"

"Came out of the tree," he moaned, holding his head.  "He's shrinking back into it too."  He pointed as Dean helped him sit up.  "That tree."  John went to look then got an axe to chop it down.  Xander got up and got his special axe, coming back to do it.  "Blessed," he said dryly.  "Easier."  He got to work and it was easier.  The tree demon died after a few cuts.  Then Xander left it alone.  The demon didn't regenerate so he was happy with that.

Dean looked then nodded.  "Good job."   He walked him back to the cabin to look at his head in the brighter sunlight by the porch since no trees were blocking it.  "Not too bad.  Small lump."

"No concussion.  I've had worse and went back on patrol."  He put his axe back after checking the edge.  "I'll sharpen that tonight."  Dean nodded, looking at his father.  "You okay?"

"I'm fine.  That was a good job, Xander."  Xander beamed at that.  "I think we could use a night in town."

"Why?  There wasn't much in town," Xander said.  "Only a few bars."

"We play pool now and then for money," Dean said.  "Plus I've been missing pretty girls.  I doubt you'd look that pretty if I dress you up like one."

"I told you not to do that after you did it to Sammy and tried to get the lesbian to hit on him," John reminded him, patting him on the shoulder as he walked past him.

"The queens tied me up and dressed me.  I didn't look too bad but I'm too bulky," Xander told him, making Dean laugh.

"He's not kidding," John called.  "The three vampire drag queens tied him up and dressed him at that strip club."

Dean shook his head quickly to erase that picture.  "Sure."  He walked into his room to change.  "Bar?"

"Sure."  John looked at Xander, then at his shirt.  "Put on something nice but subtle that you can get in a brawl in if you have to.  Some of the local bars are a bit rough, Xander."  He nodded, going to do that.  He came out in a dark blue t-shirt and jeans he had seen him wear at the club.  "Patrol clothes?"

Xander looked down at himself then at him.  "When I was bouncing at the demon club."  That got a nod.  "Let me clean off my boots."  He took them outside to do that then came back wearing them. "Jackets or should I put on an overshirt?"

"Don't you dare put on one of those loud shirts," Dean ordered.  Xander frowned at him. "You won't need that sort of attention, Xander."

"They're comfy."

"They're ugly," Dean countered.  He walked the boy out, handing him one of John's flannel plaid shirts. "There, in case you get cold.  Meet you there, sir."

"Sure, boys," he said, watching them head off in the Impala.  Once they were gone he called his son.  "You two need to pull off and talk about innocence issues soon," he ordered.  "I had it with you, you gave a better one to Sammy, do it with him."  He hung up and got ready to go out too.  He needed to see something other than the cabin too.

***

Dean hung up and pulled off the side of the road.  "Dad reminded me of something.  You know that innocence can draw things, right?"

"Only certain demons and I haven't seen any.  Plus Faith cured that and so did Anya."

"There's many types of innocence.  Blood, death, virginal of all sorts, a lot of them."

"I cured the virginal.  Blood...I shot a few of the guys in the club with a crossbow in the thigh.  Does hunting work for the death one?"  Dean nodded. "Then I've had that solved for a few years.  Why the teenager talk?"

"Because we were both thinking that some of the things that you draw come because you're not totally impure, Xander.  Virginal doesn't mean just girls."  Xander blushed and shook his head quickly.  "Dad didn't want to have this talk with you.   He kinda winces at all sex talks.  I let Sammy ask him why people used handcuffs after watching a movie and dad walked off swearing at me for it."  He smirked. "Even if Sammy draws demons, we found out that he drew less after he was thoroughly uninnocent.  We had to force a few on him but it helped."

"I can't go there, Dean."

"Okay.  We'll figure that out.  It's something Dad wanted you aware of and to think about, not to jump the first guy you see."

"That's good because I don't think I could go there."

"It's not that bad," he said calmly.  "I had to when I broke mine."

Xander blushed brighter, shaking his head.  "Willow said it's a bad thing.  Anya agreed about how bad and painful it was plus how humiliating.  She used it a few times in her job."

"That's a fucked up view," Dean told him.  Xander frowned.  "Anya using it was a punishment, Xander.  Not because they wanted to.  Yes, Willow may think it's a bad thing but did she think two girls were back then?"  Xander shook his head.  "Why not?"

"She never said why, just that it was bad and icky and wrong.  That the body wasn't meant for that and it hurt it a lot."

"Did your school have sex ed?"

"Maybe.  Condoms good, sex evil, evil brings more demons."

"No, getting uninnocent, just breaking that barrier, brings less demons," Dean corrected. "It only draws demons when you're using it for sex magic or you're sleeping with the demons."

"I'm sorry if she's still bothering you."

"Not you fault, Xander.  But remember the praying mantis woman?  She could only use virgins.  That's a lot more common than you think."

"Faith cured that for me."

"Some demons won't care about that.  About a third of them think that's only partially cured."  Xander grimaced.  "I'm not saying jump one of us or someone in the bar tonight.  I'm saying think about it tonight when you're in bed and can't sleep."  He restarted the car.  "We had to buy Sammy a hooker and give him rum.  If we have to, we'll plan yours that way."

"I hardly ever drink."

"Bad examples can do that to you," he agreed, pulling back onto the road.  "But... and this is a huge but, one beer doesn't make you an alchie."  He gave Xander a look before turning to look at the road again.

"I had one now and then with the guys after work."

"That's what we're doing tonight basically.  We're done for the day, time to fleece some poor suckers on the pool table."

"You guys do that?"

"Have to fund our way somehow," he admitted.  Xander grimaced.  "We won't make you."

"Thank you."

"Welcome."  They finally pulled into the small town.  "Want the country bar with an alarming amount of pickup trucks with gun racks or would you like the hipper club that's playing techno for the kids?"

"Kids.  We're about their age and it'll look less strange.  Plus I haven't boogied in a while."

Dean nodded, parking there.  Kids had allowances.  He could do that.  Then they'd take Xander to deal with his clothing issues.  Dean let him pay their way into the club, and it was all right.  The music was techno and trash but he could handle it for a few hours.  Better than country music anyway.  He watched Xander head for the floor and blinked, staring at him.  "What the hell?" he muttered, following more slowly.  Xander was doing...something on the floor that was making most of the girls giggle.  "How did he get laid when he dances like that?"  He went out to correct him, nodding at the teenage girl.  "He's my protege," he said with a goofy grin, getting her help.  "His town is tragic.  They waltzed or something."  She moved closer and Xander was sandwiched between them.  Dean made him move the way he should and the girl took over after a few minutes.  Then Dean went to hustle pool while she finished teaching Xander what he needed to know.   About an hour later Xander came over with a beer for him.  "Thanks."

"Welcome.  Thanks for siccing her on me too."

"You dance worse than Sammy does," Dean said, shooting him a look before taking a crappy shot.  It was all an act.  It really was.  Xander wasn't distracting him.

"I seem to do a lot of things worse than your brother does."

Dean straightened up from his next shot, looking at him.  "No, not really.  You dress worse, you draw worse things, and you dance worse.  You do a few things better.  You're better at self defense than he is.  You're not pushy and whining like he can be sometimes.  You snore louder when you do sleep."  Xander rolled his eyes and walked off.  "It's not a competition, Xander.  It's a minimum level," he called after him.  Xander turned to look at him.  "You have to meet up to the minimum level to move on."

Xander nodded.  "I get that."

"Then I'll start comparing you to others.  You snore louder than Dad too.  That's a level that Sammy never reached."  He watched him go back onto the floor.  He was still tragic on it but the girls were giggling less and helping him more.  The first one had spread around to help him because his former town had been so out of touch.  Dean looked at the guy he was playing against.  "He's training with my dad."  He took his next shot and smiled when it sank just like he wanted it to.  The guy groaned when Dean took the money and went to help Xander some more.  He pulled him out from the girls, staring at him.  "Let out some of the hunting instincts, Xander.  This is like picking and choosing who you want to go home with tonight.  Because with the way you dance, I'm surprised you got any."  Xander frowned, going back to it, making the girls giggle.  He stepped in.  "Xander, let it out.  Let out that same mood that you have when you stalk prey through the woods."  He nodded, slowly letting some of that come up.  It got better and the girls were liking it more.  Dean stepped out to a corner, watching his protege deal with it.  He nearly broke the wrist of one girl when she tried to grab his butt but she only pouted so he let her go as long as she wouldn't pickpocket him again.  The girls all rushed off.  He came out there, pulling him closer again.  "Pickpockets?"

"Trainee succuba.  They recognized me when you said to let it out."  They shared a look and left, heading to the Impala.  Some guy got in their way outside.  "Hey, Bob!" he said happily, hugging him.  "How's the old haunts?  I haven't seen you since you came to make Spike to pay up his kitten poker debt."

The man blinked at him.  "Harris?"  Xander nodded.  He looked him over.  "Well, you're not blinding us anymore."

"It took a while to drain me."

"Not like that.  That's comfortable.  I meant the shirt."  He looked at him then around then back at him again.  "You were bothering my girls?"

"A friend was trying to make them teach me to dance.  One tried to lift my wallet so I grabbed her.  The rest ran off after I chastised gently."

"Oh."  He nodded then vamped out.  Xander pulled his stake.  "Oh, please!  Tell me you won't try that.  Not like those girls are here for you to try to impress."

Xander looked around then staked him.  "Sure I will."  He tossed Dean his wallet.  "He won't need it."  They got into the car and headed off to find somewhere more fun.  Xander pointed.  "That's a rave."

Dean looked.  For a full-blown rave there were only ten cars in the parking area.  He paused them beside the road.  "Think they're human with how few cars there are?"

"Could have been dropped off."  He grinned.  "Besides, it's all succuba if anything.  We both had holy water for breakfast.  And they like me.  They're fun to tease."  He got out of the car and headed in there, making Dean park and follow.

Dean swore the whole way in, paying his cover out of 'Bob's wallet.  He found Xander in the middle of the pack on the floor.  Xander was seriously blowing his image out there.  Back to dancing like a dork.  The girls were cooing and helping though.  Not the same ones but that was fine.  They were all over him.  Which meant they were probably evil.  He texted his father and got back one to watch him for now.  Dean did get the vampire that tried to nibble on him but that was normal.  Xander being a dork on the floor and having all those girls trying for him anyway wasn't.  Dean watched as one girl moved up behind Xander to teach him how she danced.  That was better.  He was used to dancing like a girl apparently.  "Gotta remember to find his girls and smack them for warping him," he muttered.  He went to buy them a drink, handing Xander a beer on his way past to get his own action.

Xander knew not to let them take him out of the club.  Dean danced, keeping a subtle eye on him while his partner tried to talk him into a quick bathroom blow.  For some reason the club was making him very mellow.  He'd almost let her if she wasn't in vamp face.  He staked her and moved on, getting a different woman to hold body language conversations with.  Xander was gone the next time he looked over but a quick scan found him up by the DJ.  Then the music changed and it was better.  Much better. Even the girl with him was getting into the mood.  Xander clearly was letting out too much of his inner beast.  He was also back to dancing with the girls like he was one of them.  Dean took a sip of his beer when he realized Xander had a good booty to shake and get low with.  Which was definitely not a thought he usually had.  Something must've infected them.  Demon pheromone or one of the succuba or something.  He finished his beer and let the bottle be taken from him.  They'd be fine and it was good stress relief since none of the demons in there were trying to eat them or kill them for the moment.  That stress relief would come later when they slayed.

***

John parked outside the building, shaking his head at the throbbing music coming out.  "Must've been Xander's choice," he decided as he got out of the truck.  The minute he did he felt dizzy and complacent.  That was not a good sign for his boys.  He texted Dean's phone, getting back a 'Xander's got six girls around him and I've got someone nice.  It's okay, no demons trying to eat us yet' back in code.  John muttered all the way up to the door, looking at the bouncer.  "The boys in the Impala done yet?  I need to bring them home."

The bouncer let him look.  "They're having fun, mister.  Let them play; they're kids."

John looked at him.  "Not really.  It's well past curfew."  He muscled his way inside, going to save Xander first since it looked like he was in worse danger.  "Bedtime," he said in his ear, turning the boy around.  "And why are you dancing like a girl on a rap video?"

"He does it very well," one of the girls giggled, trying to take him back.

John looked at her.  "He's past curfew.  You can have him back some other time.  Let's go, Xander."

"Yes, Daddy."  He grinned and waved.  "Dad said I had to go."  They pouted and got cuddles then he left when John pulled him away.  "But they were nice and not trying to eat me," he complained.

John grabbed Dean by the hair, walking him off too.  "I don't care."  He walked them outside.  "That had better be whatever pheromone is leaking in there and not drugs, boys."

"Chill, it's not like we'd dabble that way," Dean complained, rubbing his forehead.  "Xander, you looked better dancing like a girl."

"Buffy tried to teach me."

"Gotta smack those girls," he muttered, heading for his car.  "C'mon, Xander.  Let's go nap and do it again tomorrow night."

"We can?"

"We'll see," John said, grimacing some.

"Yes, Dad."  He climbed into the car.  Dean got in to drive and they headed back to the cabin.

Dean looked at him.  "Did you call him Dad?"

"He's acting like dads in the movies do."

"He is kinda, yeah," Dean agreed.  He shrugged and let them hit a drivethru first then head back to the cabin.  They were both starved.   Xander paid since he had more money on him at the moment.  Then they drove back slowly, nibbling on the way.  They finally pulled in and found John waiting impatiently.  Dean handed over the bag.  "Breakfast."  He went to climb into bed.  His dad wanted to have a *talk* with Xander from the look on his face.  He was surprised when Xander came in right away and there hadn't been any harsh words yelled.  "He picked it," Dean called to save himself some in the morning.

"You were getting down with the breeder demon," Xander teased.

"Have to remember that."  He flipped onto his side.  "Night, Xander."

"Night, Dean."  He curled up in his usual ball and got comfy, falling asleep after a few minutes.

John put the salt wards around them once they were asleep then went to do his own bedroom's.   He'd deal with the stupid twins in the morning.

***

John looked up, studying Xander as he came out of the woods.  "Where did you hike off to?"

"To talk to the local pack leader about the club.  It's where their young go to blow off stress and breed.  No other packs close enough to send the young off to in trade so they have to do it that way.  Totally harmless and they're amused when the human kids show up.  Since we were being peaceful it was fine.  They keep out the succuba too."

"So the pheromone problem was that?" John asked.

Xander nodded.  "Yeah, encouraging teen pregnancies basically."  He sat beside him. "They said we can come back whenever we want and it'll be fine.  We inspired many of the girls."

"Fine."  He went back to cleaning the gun in his hands.  "Dean's jogging."

"I saw.  He looked mad at himself."

"Probably because you both risked yourself stupidly going into a situation you weren't sure about and trying to stay there.  You didn't watch to see how many demons there were.  You didn't listen to him when he pointed out there was probably a problem because of the few cars sitting there when there was a high population.  You could have both been hurt."

"I asked during the dominance fight.  The worst thing around here is a pack of succuba in training, which we ran into at the teen club last night.  One tried to pickpocket me.  They had a vamp Spike played kitten poker with guarding them and I got him last night before we hit the second club."  John looked at him.  "Not like Buffy does more than go ask Willie now and then."

"You didn't tell me you asked the demon you fought for dominance."

"If it had been anything bad I would've mentioned it."

"From now on, tell me everything like that you find out."

"Okay.  Bobby said the demon raccoon keeps coming back to his place missing me."

"He had to put it down.  He said the thing thought you were its higher being and it tried to bite him for robbing its god of power," John countered dryly.

"Poor raccoon."

"Not all harmless demons are really harmless."

Xander stood up to look at him.  "I don't kill the harmless ones unless they prove otherwise, John.  It's not their fault they were born.  The same as it wasn't mine or Sammy's fault that we were born into the families we were born into.  Even if some people do want to blame us for it because it means we draw demons to us.  I'm not going to suddenly start killing every demon in sight unless they're harmful."  He walked off, going back into the woods.

John huffed but the words got back into his brain.  Did he blame Sammy for drawing demons because he was born into the family?  He didn't blame other kids who drew demons unless they did it on purpose.  He looked up when Dean showed up.  "Do I blame Sam for drawing demons?"

"Now and then we both did," he said honestly, sitting down.  "Why?"

"Xander said he's not hunting the harmless ones.  That it's not their fault they were born into that family the same way it wasn't his fault or Sammy's fault they were born into their families and they draw demons."

Dean considered it then nodded.  "It's not unless they're doing it on purpose.  Which can help in a hunt.  We've all done that before.  Xander told me he played bait for Buffy many times."  John groaned and shook his head.  "I want to beat them now and then."

"There's no now and then about it.  They need paddled.  He found out that place was for the young demons to get with the breeder demons."

"I heard.  I found one of the demons from last night and asked."  He stood up.  "What're we doing today?"

"Xander could use some laundry done."

"He could use some clothes that didn't blind demons," Dean snorted. "Even the vampire remarked on it."  John pointed so Dean got to work tracking the irrate young man.  He lost his trail after a few minutes, looking around carefully.  Even above him.  No Xander.  He moved farther on and still nothing.  He looked around.  "Xander?" he called.  No answer. "Xander!"  John joined him, the gun back together and loaded, another in his hand for Dean.  "Think it was a demon?"

"Could be," he said.  "Try calling him?  He had his phone in his pocket."

Dean called him.  "Where the hell are you?" he demanded.  He paused.  "How did you get back there?"  He nodded once.  "Is that on her approved magic list, Xander?"  He shrugged.  "Okay.  And?"  He sighed, looking at his father.  "We were going to do laundry and work on your loud shirt issue, Xander."  He hung up and looked at his father.  "Willow stole him with magic."

The guns got put up as they walked back to the cabin.  "He think she's still dangerous?" John asked.

"He said no.  He was babbling in happiness while he was talking to me.   So maybe they finally apologized?"

"Maybe."  John went back to cleaning all his weapons. "Might as well, Dean."

"Yeah, I should."  He got to work on his own, making sure they were all in good working order.  Xander appeared an hour later with two bags and a large, good smelling bag.  "Brownies?" Dean asked, taking a sniff.

"Yup.  Willow's very sorry she worried you so you got guilt brownies instead of cookies.  She was out of the stuff for cookies."  He handed the bag over and walked the other two into the bedroom to sort through.

John walked in and looked then shook his head.  "No, Xander.  Those are loud and attract attention."

"It's for clubbing," he said weakly.  "I'm supposed to get attention then."

"That's something you work on with Dean.  For hunting, those are much too loud."  Xander pouted.  "I don't care.  They're too loud.  Simple, dark, blending into the woods or the back alleys colors."

"Then I look like a vamp."

"We can make sure you don't," Dean promised as he came in.  He looked at the shirts then grimaced.  "Were they trying to make you celibate on purpose?"

"No, Willow said she wants nieces and nephews soon.  I told her it wasn't happening soon but maybe some decade.  She pouted at me."

Dean shook his head.  "No.  Those shirts are fugly, Xander."

"Fine," he pouted.

"Thank you."  He bundled them back up, holding up one strange black/gray/blue shirt. "That one's actually in good colors and the pattern might blend in."  His father gave him a horrified look.  "Sammy has one like that."

"Sammy has his mother's tastes in clothes.  I had to complain about hers too.  No."  He put it back into the bag then hauled Xander up and handed him to Dean.  "Dress him better."  He walked off to have a brownie and sulk.

Dean smirked.  "Grab some cash and let's go."  Xander found the bag missing.  "How did that happen?  The wards weren't broken."

Xander looked at him.  "Most demons aren't bothered by salt if they're not spirits or of the possessing sort."  Dean swore under his breath.  "I know where they hang out.  I got invited."   They headed out.  "My car?"

"My car," Dean said patiently.  "You can navigate this time."  That got a nod and they went to find the money.  Sure enough he heard the demons giggling inside as they snuck closer.  They let Xander inside when they spotted him and then he felt the bad thing.  The house was magically sealed.  Xander came out ten minutes later by his watch.  "You look rough."

"Temporal spell," he said with a yawn.  He handed over the bag.  "They only took a few grand."  They headed back to the car.  "They're fine."

"Gone?" Dean asked.  "That is a form of attack."

"They're teenage girls who wanted it for lingerie shopping so they could inspire their boyfriends."

"You did what?"

"Showed them what they demanded to let me free," he said with a look at him.  "It's fine."  He checked the bag again then looked at the house.  Suddenly a smoke detector went off and the girls ran outside screaming.  "I told you to quit screwing with me," he called.  The money returned and the lingerie stopped burning.  They still sulked at him.

Dean stared.  "We consider this an attack, ladies," he said calmly.  They stomped back inside and he looked at Xander.  "Proved it how?"

Xander smirked.  "Don't ask."  He was stopped from getting in the car.  "I took a shower."

"I'm sure you did.  Will we have to run another purification rite?"

"If so, Bobby has what they found of African ones so it worked with the hyena.  Besides it was better than Faith was when she climbed on top."

Dean sighed, shaking his head.  "We'll talk about this later.  Let's hit a few places."  He checked the money bag in the backseat then let Xander inside the car.  He drove them to a pagan store they had found the other day.  The witch in there backed away from Xander.

"I'm hellmouth born, sweetie, but I'm a hunter."

She relaxed and sighed in pleasure.  "Good."  She came over.  "Hmm, interesting."

"The ladies had my money.  Besides it was easier and now they won't be coming after me again."

She patted him on the cheek.  "You're in the brave yet stupid class, aren't you?"

"Sometimes," he said with a sweet grin.  "Got anything on possessions?"  She pointed and he went to look.

Dean looked at her.  "Tainted again?"

"No more so than his soul already was by hunting and living there."

Xander looked at her.  "I don't kill the harmless."

"Then that's better than most," she assured him.  "Still taints you."

"Can you see how much innocence he has left?" Dean asked.

"Do I look like an online test?"

Dean gave her a long look.  "We need to know if we have to finish breaking him in."

"Nor am I Rosenburg."

"She's my best friend," Xander said with a sweet grin.

She stared at him then snorted.  "You're the one she got?"  He nodded.  "Then you should check into what you've done since then, boy.  They removed all the taint, including the former hunting, from your soul when you went through that rebirth rite to help you."

"Then I still have blood innocence left."

"Plus guy on guy innocence," Dean moaned.

Xander gave him an odd look.  "I asked her about that.  She said it's harmful for your body and that sort of innocence doesn't count.  Even Giles agreed with her."

"If it didn't, you wouldn't have drawn them earlier," he said impatiently.  "And it does not hurt the body if you're expecting it and there's preparation."

"Giles said it did."

She whistled. "Xander, he's right, it doesn't.  Willow's a prude.  So is Giles."

"He's British.  Isn't that part of the definition of an older British guy?"

"I always thought so," Dean agreed.

She rolled her eyes.  "Xander, sweetie, it doesn't hurt your body in the least."

"Willow said having those thoughts was what let her taint me that badly."

She shook her head.  "No.  What let you is she's your best friend."  He opened his mouth.  "Even if she had books that said that, it doesn't, Xander."  He nodded, slumping some.  "Really.  I promise.  The Goddess doesn't care who you sleep with as long as it's done in joy and at least lust, if possible love.  I'll have a talk with her."

"If you do she'll come pout at him again," Dean said quietly.

She looked at him.  "She's got a telltale on him anyway."  She pointed at it.  "That's what that mark on his neck is."

Dean looked then touched it, getting zapped.  "Magical tattoo?"

She nodded. "Looks like it.  With skin colored ink."  She came over.  "It can be broken and bled off."

"I'm sure it's so she can find me in emergencies and it'll let her know if I'm in the hospital," Xander defended, backing away.

He stared at the younger guy.   He had some flexible ethics but Xander needed to get the point.  Like Al-Anon for magic.  "Did you ask her to?" Dean asked.

"No but she's my best friend and she worries about me."

Dean nodded. "Her doing magic on you without your consent is wrong, Xander," he said, trying to explain this to him.  "Even if it's helpful it's wrong.  All she had to do was ask and you probably would've said yes, right?"  He nodded slowly.  "Then why didn't she ask?"

"They tried to say I was too normal again and I kinda went off.  She probably thought I'd see it as more of that."

"Well, maybe," she said slowly, considering it.  "Then again I'm not sure about the full function.  I've never seen that mark before."

"Willow does a lot of research."

Dean took a picture once she had colored over for him, then sent it to a text ID.  It came back a minute later.  "That's not protection."  He let Xander see it, watching him slump.  "I'm sorry, Xander."

"I know, I just don't understand why."

"Because she's still caught up in her magic.  A *friend* calls to check on you.  She doesn't do magic against your will," Dean told him.  "Or even with your will unless you ask.  None of the witches we've worked with who were good did that.  That takes a lot of energy from her."

"She's got plenty, she's bouncy like I am."

Dean grimaced.  "Not that sort.  Remember when you were reading about wards and how you had to dump a lot of energy into them to make them self-reliant?"  Xander nodded slowly.  "She had to do that with that one and then she has to use more to check into it."

"Then I guess I should have her remove it."

Dean nodded. "Definitely.  Can you get her here?"

"Willow?" he called.  She appeared and hugged him.  "Take the magic off me."

"It's to protect you," she said, starting to pout.  "So none of the bad ones come for you."

"They'll come anyway because they heard who he is," Dean told her.  "The same as they do for me and my family."

She stared at him.  "I'm not happy with you anyway, Mister.  Xander was a lot sweeter and gentler before you and your father got hold of him."

Xander held up a hand.  "Whoa.  That was my decision, Willow.  I could've went and hid but I realized that I'm making a huge difference by hunting.  People died because I took time off to heal from what you did the last time."  She flinched at that.  "So no, I went to John to have him teach me.  I asked.  And sweet?  Where did you pull that one from?  You used to call me one of hell's minions when I was younger and we were pranking with Jesse.  I've staked more than you have, Willow.  I haven't been *sweet* since I was in diapers and I'm only gentle in bed."

"See, you're warping him," Willow said firmly, glaring at Dean.  "He wasn't like this at home.  He needs to come home and stop this nonsense.  You can't teach him what he needs to know.  Giles can and said he would."

Dean crossed his arms, staring her down.  She wasn't that big for having all that power.  "I can and will and so will my father.  If your Giles had been paying any attention then Xander wouldn't need someone to train him.  He would've done it in his first year of hunting.  He clearly doesn't and I doubt Xander needs to have that same sort of soul sucking pressure you and she put on him the last time."

"Hey!" Xander shouted.  "My life!"  They both stared at him.  "Both of you stop it.  I make my own decisions, Willow.  Take the magic off me.  Someone else looked up the mark and said that's not a protection."

"It is so," she huffed.  Dean pulled up the message to show her.  "That's not right, it's not Egyptian.  It's Phoenician."

Dean typed that in.  He got back an answer a few minutes later.  "Then it's to keep him het and away from women?" he said, showing it to her.  He smirked.  "Some people among us research too, Willow."

She huffed and disappeared.

The witch sighed.  "We can remove the spells on it, Xander."  He nodded, letting her lead him to the back so she could drain them off.  And the other three she found.

Dean called his father.  "Found out Willow laid more magic on him.  Having it removed.  After the demons jumped him earlier for sex tips I kinda figured it.  I had them looked up.  One was to keep him het.  One was to keep him away from demons and one was to bind his magic."  He grimaced. "In skin colored tattoo ink on his neck."

"There's a few more on his chest," she called from the back.  "Same things.  Wrong spots to put it.  Even by that tradition.  None's over his heart."

Dean went back to listening to his father complain.  "None were over his heart.  The witch draining them said that she did it wrong."  He nodded.  "I'll do that.  She showed up to rant that we're ruining Xander by making him less sweet and gentle.  He shot back that he hadn't been for years but she refused to see it.  Sure, you call this time.  Or we can go visit if you wanted."  He smirked.  "That might work, yeah."  He hung up and walked back there.  "Xander, Dad wants to talk to Giles about her.  We were going to travel back that way.  Do you want to come?  You can put some of the loud clothes in your storage area and change out the books for more fun reading ones if you want.  Plus put back a few of the bigger weapons."

"I don't know.  I'm kinda confused right now."

Dean nodded.  "It's a hard thing when someone that close to you betrays you."  He gave him a look.  "We're still buying you better clothes tonight but we can bring home dinner."

"Sure.  Thank you."  He nodded, leaving him alone.  Xander looked at the witch trimming the ones on his back.  "It's a betrayal?"

"If a friend did this to me, I'd consider it that way," she said.  "Even if they were considering it expedient and helpful, it's not healthy for you and it could end up harming you a lot."

Xander nodded, putting his head back down on the headrest of the chair he was in.  "I don't know why she did it."

"She thinks you're bad, kid.  She's treating you like her child."  Xander nodded.  "Has she done this before?"

"She's always been part mom and part best friend.  Then she got a crush on me."

"She needs to clear her own mind out before she tries to harm others again.  This would've made you draw worse things, Xander."  He nodded, putting his head down.  "Think on this.  Most of the witches all over the world disagree with her on her thoughts, methods, and prudish nature that she's trying to force on you.  Even if the Council does like her saying gay things are bad, we don't care what you are as long as you're happy and not hurting others.  Plus she's a hypocrite because I heard she had a girlfriend of her own now."  He nodded again at that, closing his eyes.  "I don't know what to tell you, Xander.  Think on what you know and what she's done then make a decision."  Xander nodded, eyes still closed.  "Let me get this last tiny symbol then we'll move onto the next one.  It's older."  He let her work and then lowered his pants to get the one on his hip.  She frowned, bringing in a magnifying glass.  "Shit.  It's a lust spell."

"Could it be why one I did to try to get my ex back went screwy and everyone but her wanted me?" he asked quietly.

She felt the magic around it then shook her head.  "Single target, Xander."

He looked back at her, letting her see the pain in his eyes.  "She was affected by the lust spell too."

"Then it wouldn't have mattered.  This was to draw you to her, nothing else."  He nodded, going back to his resting.  She frowned and got back to work.  Something was seriously wrong with this witch.  "Who was her teacher?"

"Giles tried.  She stole books."

She sighed and nodded.  "That's a clear indication she's going to go dark.  Even your Mr. Giles should've known that."

"He dabbled in darkness in his youth with Ethan Rayne," he said quietly, looking back at her again.  She stiffened.  "Rupert Giles is still Ripper underneath.  Ethan tends to bring it out in him when he shows up to get punched in the nose."

She shuddered.  "I've heard about their coven and their misdeeds."

"He walked away when someone died.  Went straight.  Became a watcher like his parents wanted."

"Doesn't mean they didn't kill someone."  She got back to work canceling that magic.  "Dean?"  He came back to help her.  "I need someone male to help me break this one since she tried to bind his sexuality within it and make it only work on her."  Dean nodded, pushing up his sleeves to help her.  He followed her quiet instructions and they finally cut that one off him.  Xander slumped, looking miserable.  She stroked up his back.  "Think, Xander.  It's all you can do."  She looked at Dean.  "Shop tomorrow."  He nodded, helping Xander up.  Xander pulled out his wallet.  "No, kid.  I don't do things like that for a fee.  It's wrong and unethical of me."

"Then let me pay for the supplies."

"I had it all on hand."  She shooed them out, watching as Dean got him into the car and drove him back to wherever they were training the boy.  Then she went to make a pissed off call to Rupert Giles.  He should've seen her path since he had walked it.  He had known better even if he didn't want to see!

***

John looked up as Dean led Xander in.  "No clothes?"

"Took her three hours to remove all the marks on him," Dean said quietly.  "Get down to your boxers and I'll neosporin the cuts, Xander."  He nodded, going to do that.  Dean turned and hit his fist into a wall.  "She marked him with a lust charm aiming at her back in high school," he said quietly.  He found the first aid kit, going to check his buddy's injuries.  He clearly needed them.

John walked outside to call the shop.  "It's Winchester.  What did you remove from him and how do we search for more, just in case?"  He nodded, memorizing it.  Dean came out to grab the phone and hear the same thing.  Then he handed it back and went back to tending injuries.  "What else happened?  Dean's in a girly snit."  He listened to the whole event today and winced.  "He's part of that coven?"  He sighed but nodded. "Then yeah, something has to be said.  We were going to talk to him in person.  Would that work?"  He nodded.  "We can do that."  He hung up and went to lounge against the door frame while Dean finished creaming and bandaging things.  "Xander, do you want to go back to Sunnydale to talk to Giles and Willow about this?"

Xander looked up at him.  "Will it help?"

"It could make him see how far she's gone."

Xander grimaced. "He should have realized, John.  She memory charmed the whole group the other day."

John shuddered.  "Then someone needs to intervene before she ends up hurting someone more than mentally, Xander."

"What about her girlfriend?" Dean asked.  "You were worried about her."

"She's the one who told me," Xander admitted.  "Can I ask Ethan to intervene?  He's on that same sort of path and it might be a brighter road sign and more realistic to her."

John considered it then nodded.  "He could help," he decided.  "You can call him, Xander."

Xander found his phone and the number, calling him.  "Ethan, Xander.  Did you ever talk with Willow?  Because I just spent three hours have small, skin colored tattoos with magical intent removed from my body," he said calmly.  "And an older lust spell was one of them.  The witch was pissed beyond belief."   He put his head back down.  "Ethan, she pulled me from Kansas back there to talk to me.  Tara and I talked and I didn't give her permission to mark me.  She said it was for my protection.  I don't remember her doing it at all.  And get this, her girlfriend told me the other day she had memory charmed the whole group while trying to get just her since they had an argument about her magic use.  Ethan, I'm more scared she's going to take you over, suck your power, and then keep going," he said quietly.  "John wants to go talk to Ripper.  I started to but she kept saying it was for my own good and the guys training me are warping me from sweet and gentle, which I didn't know I was.  I don't know what to do."  He listened to the words of lecture.  "The witches who helped me went to deal with her after they drained me, Ethan.  This is another incidence beyond that."

Dean took the phone.  "Rayne, she did it again without his consent.  None of the marks were protection from what we know.  The witch said she tried to bind his magic, keep him on the heterosexual side, and then make him go to her.  Plus to keep demons off him and keep him from hunting.  Exactly.  That with the old lust spell from high school?  Done in the same manner?"  He grimaced.  "I'm putting stuff where she had to cut the marks off, Rayne.  The witches who went out tried and helped her girlfriend then.  It's coming down to someone needs to kick her ass good over this.  Do you want it, or do you know someone higher up in the dark magic side that can, or do you want us to do it?"  He listened.  "If she's memory charming her girlfriend because they had a fight about her magic...."  He trailed off at the pissed words.  "The witch who helped him earlier said that she knew about yours and Ripper's former stuff.  He should have seen it.  Yeah, so it's us or you or someone higher.  They couldn't."  He smiled.  "That'll work.  Thank you."  He hung up and handed the phone back.  "He said you're right, she'll start going after the people with power soon.  He's warning some more dark wizards about her and hinting someone should try to recruit her so they can keep her from killing them all."

Xander nodded, putting his head back down.  "Thanks, Dean."

"Not an issue.  What she did was wrong."  He taped down one last corner and stood up.  "Let me go get dinner."

"Sure.  Get me something soft?  I'm a bit queasy."  Dean nodded, going to do that.

John squatted down beside the bed.  "Right now, we're giving you the same speech that you'd give an abused spouse, Xander."  Xander looked at him.  "Honestly.  She has a problem and it's a very bad problem.  Someone's going to have to step in because there's no way her girlfriend can find a safe shelter from her if she's that strong."  Xander nodded at that wisdom.  "I don't know Willow.  I never saw you two when things were good.  I know right now this is like you admitting your parents had an alcohol problem and accepting it."

"I've already accepted she's got problems.  She's human and we all have problems."

"Hers are making her rely too much on the magic and not enough on anything else in her life.  If she keeps doing it she could truly hurt someone.  Some of the stuff the witch said she took off you could have killed you in a few months, Xander.  The same as last time.  She has to learn to care about consequences or else some other hunter is going to have to put her down for being rabid some day soon."  Xander grimaced but nodded.  "I won't unless you ask.  You don't have to do it.  We can pass that duty off.  The same as we can when it's friends who're the new demon.  I wouldn't make you handle it.  The same as I wouldn't make Dean handle it if it was Sammy going bad.  But we can't let it sit.  It's too dangerous."

Xander nodded.  "I agree.  Think Ethan will have her talked to?"

"I'm hoping so.  I've got a contact back that way right now and I'll talk to them.  If she's still doing bad things, we'll head to help."

"Thank you.  I know you weren't expecting this."

"We all bring personal demons to the field.  I bring the ones that killed my wife and their mother.  So does Dean.  Yours is a bit more tangible and bakes brownies when she feels guilty."  Xander smiled a bit at that, nodding.  "So we'll handle it.  For now, rest.  Need something for the pain?"

"I'm good.  I have a pretty good tolerance."

"Good boy."  He went back to the living room to call his contact out there.  "I need to know if someone badder than Rosenburg comes to talk to her about how she's joined the dark side."  He smiled.  "Yeah, her.  Because she has.  Thank you."  He hung up and went to wait on Dean.  He knew Dean was concerned about the boy.  He was hovering like he had when Sammy had broken his ankle while they were playing in the woods against orders.  There were some interesting parallels showing up in his mind and he needed to see where his son really stood on some things.

***

Rupert looked up as Ethan and another man appeared.  "May I help you?" he asked, reaching for a crossbow.

"He's here to speak to the new chaos witch about her forays into blood magic," Ethan said while freezing him before they got shot at.  "She's fully gone over, Ripper."

"I heard from the witch helping Xander earlier.  We've had a few long talks.  She's been given an ultimatum and she's trying."

"To become us," the other mage said with an evil smirk.  "She's already well on her way."  He walked out, following the blood taint to where the witch was hiding.  He knocked out the slayer and looked at the white witch trying to guard her.  "She's no longer yours."

"Sh...she can t..turn back," she stuttered.

He nodded.  "That would require her to want it, child.  You could not ride my path.  She has ridden it for a very long time."  Tara gave him a horrified look, turning it on Willow.  "All the way back to high school when she worked lust spells on purpose to draw a mate to her so she could drain him.  Tattooing draws blood and is covered under blood magic."  Willow stepped away from him.  "Then today we find even more that she's done since other white witches have tried to help her.  She's fully off the path of the Goddess."  He looked at Tara again.  "I will not harm her, child."

"She's mine to protect," Buffy said, starting to come around.  Tara helped her up and she got between him and Willow.  "You can't have her unless she agrees."

He looked at her. "She has been working blood magic on you as well."

"Protections."

He looked at one then shook his head. "No.  Not protections, slayer."  She stiffened.  "She is dabbling in my area and she is dangerous to the world.  She stores power and hordes it for higher spells.  If she goes bad, the world could be in danger.  Would you take her out then?  Or would you rather have us take care of our own?  She will be taught the proper forms or be released from the blood path, as she wills it.  But if she goes back after being released, she is an enemy and therefore hunted."

Buffy shook her head.  "That's not your right."

"It is the right of those she harmed.  Do you have it in you to harm her for what harm she's caused in you and that boy?  Or even the watcher or this witch?  Her darkness pulls that one off her pure path as well.  It calls the watcher back to the path he gave up.  You may be immune but others are not."

She frowned, looking at Willow.  Then at him.  "She's our friend.  It's our duty to help her back onto the light."

He nodded, stepping back.  "Then I leave it to you with the warning that we will if you cannot and she starts to act against others."

She nodded.  "I'll take that warning.  We're helping her.  Tara was helping her voluntarily bind her magic."

He studied the redhead then shook his head.  "It's not possible unless she drains herself back into the hellmouth she's linked into.  Until then she can still draw on it unknowingly.  She'll cause accidents to happen."

Buffy sighed but nodded.  "That's fine.  We'll handle it," she assured him.  He nodded. "If not, how do we reach someone if something too bad happens?"

"Call Ethan.  He found me when he heard she was well past his own path of darkness and onto mine."  He smirked and went back to the shop.  He nodded at the vampire drinking blood at the counter beside his former students.  "She is one of you of magic."

Ethan looked at him.  "Truly?"

"Mostly.  She is sucking in the magic and has not bled any off.  She's as much of a battery as I heard she turned that boy into."

Giles nodded at that.  "We'll drain her and help her."

"Do so.  If not, we'll have to deal with her.  As we would you if you went back, Ripper."  Giles nodded at that, lips pressed tightly together.  "Beware how she's pulling you and the other witch from your chosen paths as well.  Blood taint touches you again."

"I will.  Thank you."

"Not a problem.  It is good to get here again.  The blood flows well and energizes us."  He looked at Ethan.  "Are we done?"

"If you are."  That got a nod and Ethan took what he had bought, taking him back to his house so Ethan could go drink himself into a coma later.  They hadn't taken the last warnings seriously enough.  If this didn't work, someone would be called out to hunt the girl.  She had such promise too.  The same as he had at one point.  Pity but necessary to protect themselves.

***

Xander looked at the town a few weeks later, then at Dean.  He pointed from the hood of his car.  "That's the Magic Box there.  That's the magical store that Giles runs."  He pointed.  "That's Spike's cemetery.  Unless he's back at Giles' place or in Buffy's basement, he lives there."  He looked at him.  "The college is on the other side of town."

"Where's your storage area?"

"Nearer to the college."

"Then let's hit it so you can change out the loud clothes for hopefully better ones?"  Xander gave him an odd look. "If not, we'll shop in the morning since we didn't get a chance to."  That got a nod.  "Got a good motel so we can get rooms?"

Xander pointed at one in the distance.  "That's the safest bet close to town.  It's not totally safe but they don't have a permanent invite on the doors."  They shared a look.  "Not that expensive either.  Faith lived there by robbing the vamps."

That got a nod.  "Okay.  Let's hit there first, set up a base, then visit your storage area in the morning?" Xander nodded, sliding off his hood to get into his car.  Dean followed him that way.  He was watching the town.  It was an hour until dusk and the town looked so *normal*!  How could this be an area of mystical, bad convergence?  He parked beside Xander's car and they got out, going in to get two rooms.  He'd switch back to the double room when his father got there the next night.  They went to get dinner and came back to settle in while Xander went over the town's map with him.  They would deal with the girls tomorrow.  They would deal with Xander's ugly clothes tomorrow because Dean was ready to set the one he was wearing on fire, even if his buddy was still wearing it.  They'd even deal with Spike tomorrow since Xander said something about wanting to see him.  Dean glared at the shirt again.

"Leave my clothes alone."

"No."

"Tough."

Dean stared at him.  "We could shop tonight."

"Sure, if you want to go goth shopping with the vamps," he shot back smugly.  "Or go to the mall to run into Buffy."

"Well, no," he admitted.  "Though I am wondering if you look good in leather."

Xander leaned closer.  "I'm told I'm mean in leather."  He sat back up.  "Besides, the shirt is comfy and I'm happy if I'm comfy."

"It glows in the dark."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes it does," Dean insisted.

"It doesn't, Dean."

He turned off the lights and a few spots did glow in the dark.  "See?"  He flipped them back on.

Xander looked at the spot.  "That's demon blood that never washed out," he said, shrugging a bit at the end. "It happens."

Dean gave him a long stare then shook his head.  "No.  No way in hell, Xander.  Let's go shopping.  There's got to be a Wal-mart around here."

Xander gave him an odd look.  "Their clothes never last.  I can hit he thrift store in the morning."

"I wear Wal-mart stuff," Dean protested.

"And it dies very quickly I'm sure.  Mine always did.  Even the underwear."

"There's days you don't wear any," Dean shot back.

"Well, yeah, and that's why," Xander agreed, grinning some.  "I thought you said Sammy was the bright one."

Dean cuffed him on the head.  "Let's go shopping."

"The thrift shop is closed.  It's after six."

Dean looked at his watch then at him.  "So?  You have money, we can hit the mall.  Then the food court?" he suggested at the automatic head shake.  Xander was still hungry.  He knew the boy ate like a cow most of the time if they let him.  He bounced it all off again. "That way you only have to drop things off at the storage area in the morning."

Xander grimaced. "But it's not right.  I need to save that for the future."

"What happens if you die tomorrow?" Dean asked.  "Car accidents and hunting accidents still happen, Xander."

"Then I guess you get the bag?"

"Yeah, I'll use it to bury you in something tasteful."  He hauled him up.  "Grab money."  Xander did that with a sigh of displeasure but let Dean lead him to the car.  "Which way to the mall?"

"Left then up the road.  Just outside the town's boundaries."  He looked at him across the roof.  "We don't have to go tonight."

"Yes we do.  Before I burn that shirt while it's on you."  He made sure they had the motel room key then got in, taking Xander to the mall whether he wanted to or not.  He stopped the car in front of a store. "What's that?"

"Vamp shopping place," Xander said without having to look.  "Leather, nastiness, we're not allowed in there or we'll become a meal for the fledges who're working on their image."

Dean shook his head, driving on.  California vampires were a lot different from the ones in the rest of the world.  What sort of vampire worried about his image?  Xander pointed so he looked.  "That's Spike?"

"That's Spike."

"You can see him tomorrow, Xander."  They kept going.  That shirt was really giving him a headache.  Maybe it was the leftover demon blood.  He checked since they were at a stoplight.  Spike was giving his car appreciative looks.  "Even the bloodsuckers love my car," he said with a happy grin.

Xander patted him on the wrist.  "It's good that you believe in such an untraditional relationship.  Is the bonding soon or do I need to worry about buying you two a case of oil as a wedding present?  I figured it'd be practical in multiple ways."

Dean swatted him.  "Bastard."  He drove on and headed for the mall.

"You're the one who acts like your car is your boyfriend and you suck tailpipes."

Dean shot him a glare then went back to driving.  "It'd take me, Xander.  I top."

"Uh-huh.  The car is bigger."

"How did we get onto the topic of car sex?" he asked.

"You said Spike was shooting your boyfriend an appreciative look and you do pet the car, talk to the car, stroke and fondle parts of it whenever you get in.  You sniff it to check its scent to see if it's pleasing.  You have dirty dreams that include your car."

"I do not!"

"You do so!  You woke me up the other night with one."  Dean glared again. "We're on fledge row, Dean.  Pay attention."  Dean grunted but did that.  "Three nights ago you were moaning about 'oh, yeah, with the car, baby.  With the car'.  You were moaning so loud it woke me up.  Even your Dad shook his head when you woke him up."

Dean shook his head quickly.  "That was having sex in the car, Xander.  Not with the car."

"Not from what I heard."

"You heard wrong."  He found the mall and pulled in, making Xander get out by hauling him out and inside the place.  He looked around then shrugged. "Jeans first.  Yours are worn out."  Xander huffed but led him that way.  At least until Xander saw someone and ducked out of sight, making Dean follow him by hauling him into the small hallway.  They watched the older lady, about middle aged, walk past their location.  "Who was she?" Dean asked quietly.

"Buffy's mom.  She's the first parental type person who thought I did good at anything."  He watched her go.  "I don't want to hurt her."

Dean looked at him.  "Joyce," he shouted, waving when she turned to look to see who was yelling her name.  He smiled.  "Dean Winchester."

"Xander's training with you," she said.  She spotted Xander, dropping her bags to hug him.  "Xander."

"I didn't want to hurt you," he said quietly, giving her a hard squeeze.  "Gods, Joyce."

"Shh, baby."  She pulled back to look at him.  "You'll be fine.  Are you staying?"  Xander hesitated but shook his head.  "Then that's the right decision for you.  I can't say as I like what Willow's becoming either."

Xander gave her another hug.  She smiled and squeezed back.  Then he pulled back frowning.  "What's wrong?"

"That's what I was going to ask.  Your scent's off."

She looked confused.  "I've had a few headaches."

"No, this is major illness, not a cold, Joyce."  He stared at her.  "Get yourself checked tomorrow.  Everything, top to bottom.  Full CT.  Or have Giles look.  There's something seriously wrong and it's not magical."

"I'll call him tonight to see if he has something that can do that.  Should I mention the source?"

"We're seeing him tomorrow."

She nodded, stroking over his hair.  "Dean, get the boy a haircut."

"I'm fixing the ugly shirts first."

She gave him a gentle smile and stroked over his cheek.  "Xander isn't a Xander without the occasional ugly shirt, dear."  He grimaced but she smiled more brightly.  "It'll be fine. Xander, I'll have cookies tomorrow at the gallery.  Stop by before you disappear?"

"We'll be here for a few days.  His dad wanted to make sure Willow wasn't slipping."

"Tara gave her an ultimatum: magic or her.  She's pulled back totally."

Xander showed off the marks on his neck where they had to cut things off.  "Since five days ago?"

"Oh, dear."  He nodded.  "We'll see then, dear.  Come see me tomorrow.  You can bring Dean, I won't mind."  She pinched Dean on the cheek, getting an embarrassed look.  "My daughter Buffy would coo but I'm a bit more sophisticated than that.  So I'll leave it as you're cute together.  See me tomorrow, boys."  She grabbed her bags and walked off, going to the Magic Box.  She walked in.  "Rupert, I was just ordered to do a full head-to- toe scan of my body for illness.  I was told my scent was off."

"Is Oz back?" he asked.  He smiled a bit.  "I do miss his quiet calmness."  She looked at a picture then back at him.  "Ah."  He went to find the book and pulled her back to the office to look her over.  "Hmm.  He was right," he said finally.  He touched a spot on her head.  "There's a small mass," he said, staring into her eyes.

"The headaches."  He nodded.  "I'll call my doctor tonight."  He gave her a hug.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome.  Is he back?"

"He and Dean are in because they wanted to check on Willow.  She magiced him again five days ago?"

He nodded. "She did," he agreed.  "Then Xander asked Ethan Rayne, the one who did the band candy, to find her someone to show her what path she's on.  The blood mage showed up and scared the living daylights out of her," he said honestly.  "She's getting better."

She smirked.  "If that's all that works on the girl then I'm all for it.  Don't tell Buffy.  They said they'll be seeing you sometime tomorrow and I'm having cookies with them afterward."  She winked.  "Thank you."

"Not an issue."  He walked her back out to her car, watching her drive off.  He went to find Buffy on patrol.  "Buffy, you need to go home.  Someone told your mother she was a bit ill and she's arranging things with her doctor to find out why I found a lump," he said in her ear when he caught her at the Bronze.  She stared at him, looking horrified.  He nodded.  "It may not be serious.  I cannot tell."

"Where?  I had an aunt that died of breast cancer," she said weakly.  He touched the side of her head and she nearly started to cry.  "She's at home?"  He nodded.  "I...."

"I'll drive you," he promised, taking her that way.  Joyce was on the phone with someone she was calling Doctor when he let her into the house.  She pounced her mother to squeeze her as hard as she could.

"I'll be fine, Buffy.  We caught it early.  I will not die like my sister.  Have some faith."  She shook her head, hugging her harder.  She petted her daughter gently. "Thank you, Rupert."

"Not a problem, Joyce.  We'll watch out for the girls if you have to leave town for a few days due to treatments."  He smiled and left, going back to the Magic Box.  He found Spike in there.  "Joyce is ill."

"Knew that.  Couldn't figure out why," he admitted, puffing on his current cigarette.

"I found a small brain tumor."

"I was looking for Mohra demon blood."

Giles considered it.  "I don't think that would help in this situation.  It's not a matter of healing, it's improper cells from what I understand.  She's calling someone and I've let Buffy know."  Spike nodded at that.  "Why are you here instead of out annoying the nightlife for your pleasure?"

"Saw a muscle car that stunk of demon blood earlier," he admitted, putting out the cigarette after one last puff, grinding it under his boot.  "Could be more of the military nancy boys."

Giles smirked. "I do believe that may have something to do with Xander," he said quietly.  "I'm not totally certain yet but we have had a few hunters in here checking on Willow for him."

Spike shrugged.  "Thought I'd do my duty before I got staked by one of 'em.  She good?"

"She should be fine.  She's calling her doctor tonight and I've let Buffy know.  I know she's special to you because she lets you natter on about Dru over cocoa and sees you as a person instead of a vampire.  Try to give her a bit of space until they find out what's truly going on."

"I'll do patrol tonight.  Maybe I can nick some new smokes or someat better," he said smugly, heading out.  Or maybe he could find out more about that muscle car to make sure it wasn't going to endanger his life.  He didn't have the energy to deal with hunters right now.  They were annoying and caused his sort no end of problems.  Later that night he saw it back at the motel with a familiar car.  "Hmm.  Could be he was right."  He turned and found Xander standing there watching him.  "You back, whelp?"

"No.  I came to check on things then we're heading down south." He looked him over, watching Spike do the same.  "Dean dressed me.  He said he was going to burn my blue and green shirt on me if I didn't change."

Spike nodded.  "Drove me nuts with the blood on it."

"But the pattern hid most of it."

"Still tragic," Dean said as he joined them from behind Spike.  "This is the one you tied in your recliner?"

"He would've tried to do stuff with his blood breath," Xander defended with a frown.

Spike snickered.  "You may be nummy but not that much, boy."

Xander smirked back.  "You sure?  Other demons seem to think so.  The Gruantiths all wanted me recently and arranged things so I had to go play with them.  A whole herd."  Spike shivered at that thought.  "So, how's Anya?  I was going to show Dean how patrol went."  Spike nodded, walking off with them.  "She good?"

"Not bad.  Fun bit to play with now and then.  How did you put up with the complaints?"

Xander smirked.  "I gave her more.  She likes oral sex after I showed her what it was."

"Have to remember that."  He lit up a new smoke, offering the pack to Dean.

"My father would beat me again."

Xander grinned, taking one to puff on.  "Hmm.  Dusted?"

Spike shook his head.  "Demon weed."  He smirked.  "Smelled it before?"

"Now and then at the house."  He looked at Dean.  "It doesn't make us high, just makes demons mellow.  It's not even bad for us."  He let him have a puff, getting a choking cough.  Xander grinned.  "It'll be okay.  It's an acquired taste."

"How did you acquire it?" Dean asked, following them.

"Anya," Spike said.  Xander nodded and pointed then let out his current breath onto the demon that was trying to hide next to him.  Spike looked around Xander at it.  "Morning, Morte.  Bad night?"

"Bad game," he admitted, taking Xander's cigarette to have a puff.  "Thanks, Harris.  You back?"  He shook his head.  "Pity.  The girls are moping."

"Willow worked magic on me against my will."

The demon stared at him then walked off giggling.  "Oh, shit, she's so screwed!" he giggled.

Spike looked at him.  "What did she do this time?  I remember the evil stench."

"Clearing that started a new hellmouth," Xander said as they walked on.  "This time a witch found tiny, flesh colored magical symbols tattooed on a few different parts of my body."  Spike cackled.  "She was not pleased.  Especially not at the one that was supposed  to draw me to her back in high school.  Dean and his dad have both been helping me see how bad that was to me."

Spike nodded.  "At least you're not a pet this time," he said smugly.

"And hey, you're not marrying Buffy, right?" he countered.

"True, not marrying the quim.  Or yours."

"Not mine.  We broke up and John said I can't sleep with her while I'm training."

"Pity.  She could use it."  He finished that cigarette and pointed.  "Fledges."

Dean loaded his crossbow and Xander pulled out his favorite stake.  Dean looked at him. "You can't be thinking about getting that close."

"It's not patrol if you don't stake," he said, heading off after Spike, sneaking up behind the first one.  He staked that one and the others reacted.  He and Spike had some fun and then they were dusted.  He looked at Dean, who was gaping.  "Four years doing this.  Spike, he doesn't like my battle axe.  He said it was impractical."

"Love that thing.  Saved my neck once," he told Dean.  He could enjoy the stunned one.  He was mouthy, loud, and cuter than Buffy was really.  Plus he had some sense.  He was wearing decent clothes, no short skirts to tempt the demons to grope.  And he had gotten rid of Xander's eyesore wardrobe.  For that he'd give the idiot a chance.  At least until Buffy stomped him into the dirt for daring to keep her toy.

***

John found the boys the next afternoon.  They were hiding in the hotel rooms.  "Bad day?" he asked as Dean let him in.

"Yeah.  Majorly bad day.  Rosenburg sneezed in the back of the store when we walked in."  He pointed at the funny colored Xander and the witch in there with him.  "This is Tara, Willow's girlfriend."

John nodded politely.  "He going to be okay?"

Xander looked up; his face was purple while the rest of him was scarlet with faint blue stripes.  "I'm fine.  Just look like a demon."  He looked at Tara, who went back to mixing.  "You could leave town.  It's pretty in the rest of the country.  I'd come visit whenever I could."

She patted him on the cheek but shook her head.

Dean drew his father back, handing over the tape he had made of Xander on patrol last night.  "Hid one in my jacket pocket.  He staked instead of shot the vampires and demons," he said quietly.  His father groaned but sat down to watch it on the small screen of the video camera.

John finally got up and walked over there.  "Didn't we have a talk about safety, Xander?"

He looked up but nodded. "They were fledges."

"They're still vampires.  You could've used a crossbow."

"Then you can't frisk them for important information," he countered.

John stared. "Do you always do it that way?"

"W...w..we a...all...all do," Tara said quietly concentrating on the potion she was brewing.

"It's how the Sunnydale crew rolls," Xander agreed.

"You're not on the crew.  You have a higher calling," John said patiently, crossing his arms to stare at him.

"Weapons are for larger threats, like the one Buffy's got on her ass," Xander told him simply.  "Fledges are there to screw with and take out.  If it was good enough for four years of patrol it's good enough to show Dean how we did things."

"What demon's going after her?"

"Don't know.  Tara won't tell me."  Tara gave him an odd look. "Name?"  She whispered it in his ear.  "Called by name?"  She nodded.  He wrote it down and handed it over.  "Spike said she wants something Buffy has but not what."

John looked at the name then at him.  "Dean?"  He came in.  "Research this please?"

"Want me to ask Bobby too?"

"Please.  No saying the name.  It calls it."  He went to look it up while John stared at his student.  "Well, you're dressed better."  Tara snickered but went back to stirring.  "Dean got tired of his ugly shirts."

Xander shrugged.  "It happens."  He took the potion when she poured it out for him, sighing in pleasure when the motel mirror showed him back to normal. "Thank you, Tara."  He pulled her down to cuddle her.  "Are you sure you won't move somewhere so I can come visit the most brilliant of white witches I know?"

She shook her head.  "I'm needed here," she nearly whispered.

"If you change your mind, we're more than happy to help you find a good spot and a coven to support you," Dean said, coming back with the information Bobby had faxed him after their short call.  "Here.  From Bobby.  Summary of the book he has."

He read it then handed it to Tara.  "Which one?"  She read then pointed.  He groaned. "We have an insane hell god, boys."

Xander considered it then took the information.  "So we kill it how?  Or trap it how?"

"Bobby said bluntly to kill the host."  Dean leaned against the doorway.  "He said it's trapped and possessing."

"We can do that," Xander said grimly.  "But I might need to escape quickly.  The Feds do frown on what I have planned."

John smirked at him.  "Let's see what we can do, Xander."  Xander nodded at that.  "Need more help?"

"I might need a ride."

"You can have my car's passenger's side," Dean promised.

Xander grinned as he stood Tara up and walked out to make sure he had everything out of the car.  They followed more subtly once Tara had pointed out the annoying things's hangout.  Xander looked at his car, then patted it.  "Sorry, dear."  He arranged things on the side then put it into gear and dropped the brick onto the accelerator.  The car leapt forward, crashing into the building.  A minute later the rag he had set on fire reached the gas tank.  The car exploded.  So did the building, Glory, and her henchmen.  She had to change back to her human shape and it was damaged too.

Dean gaped in awe then at Xander.  Who was walking off with Tara.  "Xander?" he squeaked.

Xander looked at him. "Sometimes it's a practical solution.  I'm going to have cookies with Joyce."  He grinned and walked off with her, letting her lead him to the gallery this time.  She jogged off to tell the others what had happened, but not that he had helped, as he had requested, while he went inside.  "Mom, you promised me cookies," he said with a pout.

"I have some in the office, Xander."  She walked him that way.  "What kept you?"

"Willow sneezed and turned me funny colors before she knew I was there.  So I'm holding off on our talk."  He sat down to have cocoa and cookies with her, chatting about what was going on and telling her about Dean and John and how nice they were to him.

Back at the scene, John was watching the fire department work.  He looked at Dean.  "It was a good plan," Dean said, looking up.  "Expedient.  Useful.  Fast.  Painless to anyone outside the bad guys."

John nodded. "Still dangerous and it could be traced back."

"How?  The car?  He said he sold his old one in LA and bought this one from some junkie on skid row."  They went back to watching the fire crew put things out.  Finally it was done and he looked over at the blonde girl staring in horrified awe beside them.  "Welcome," Dean said.

She looked at him then blinked.  "Who're you?"

He grinned.  "Dean Winchester."

She frowned.  "I know that name."

"We're training Xander, Buffy," John said simply.  She smiled.  "Welcome."

She nodded. "Is she gone?"

"Our sources say to kill the host and she's gone," Dean said.  "We popped the zit of evil and her host was in there."  She nodded at that.  "So we're good.  How's your mom?  He was worried about her."

"The doctor's doing all sorts of tests later today and we'll know next week."  She moved closer.  "Is Xander back?"  He nodded.  "Is he coming to see us?"

"He was doing that earlier when Willow made him scarlet with blue stripes."

"Oh."  She winced.  "She still has some accidents, even after we helped her dissipate it."

"Get a real coven in, not just your watcher and her girlfriend," John said.  "Strength in numbers."

She nodded.  "I'll tell them that."  She looked at the mess then at them.  "You think she's really gone?"

"We saw her go flying and change, then her host died," Dean told her.  She sighed but nodded, taking his arm and making him walk off with her. "Where are we going?"

"The Magic Box so you can tell Giles what you did.  It's his job to record those things.  Then can I maybe see Xander?"

"If he wants to," John promised.  "That's one of the reasons we came out.  He has to put some things behind him so he can move on."

She sighed, looking at him.  "He's not staying?"

John shook his head.  "I think he's happier helping more than one town.  Now and then people say thank you and he's making a big difference.  He's doing very good with his training."

"He can share mine."

Dean made her look at him.  "You both had some lessons you needed to learn, Buffy.  Including that you can't save everyone.  Xander was very upset when he didn't realize some demons were tearing up a sorority house and they lost a few of them.  He needs to have less of the world resting on his shoulders.  A case, stopping the bad thing, but not the yearly nastiness that has to happen around here.  He's still getting over having to command the graduation battle."

"Some people are meant to do great things in small ways.  Some are meant to save the world and be known for it," John agreed.  "Xander does an excellent job at both of those, but the small things are settling better with him since he found himself on a darker path than he wanted to be on.  Him not being here for a long time will help him with that."

She nodded.  "Sometimes we all hunt out of frustration and anger."

"Xander was worried he'd go stake happy and not care what he hit," Dean admitted quietly, glancing around.  "He stopped himself."

"He saw where that led thanks to Faith."

He nodded.  "He told me about her."  Buffy slumped but nodded.  "So, let's let Xander heal.  No more pushing.  You can offer and tell him he's welcome back whenever he's ready.  If you push him it'll make that time further back."  She nodded, taking his arm to walk him off again. "Is she back to normal?"

"Willow's still struggling with dumping the energy off instead of hoarding it for when we need to pull major spells."

"You should build up small stores.  Then you can raise power right before it's necessary."

"We don't always get that much warning."

"Buffy, if she can soul a vampire and close the hellmouth, she can open it," Dean said.  "She can rip this town apart.  Most witches raise power the few days before.  Xander said you usually have that much warning."

She nodded. "Usually."  She let them into the Magic Box.  "They sent Glory flying when her hidey hole blew up, Giles."  He stiffened and looked at them.  "It was a huge fire too."

"We used Xander's sedan," John told him.  "With his permission."

Giles nodded.  "That's more than a small bonfire and a stake."

"We saw her host die," Dean told him.

"So Tara said," he said with a smile.  "Thank you.  Where is he?"

"Joyce."  Buffy beamed and went to get a hug from Xander and talk to him with her mom helping smooth out the wrinkles.  Dean looked around then at him.  "This is nicer than the ones we've been to recently."

"We do try."  Anya came out of the back.  "Anya."

"Anya," Dean said with a smirk.

"Are you giving him orgasms now?  He used to make me smile like that.  Spike doesn't use his tongue near enough and it's pitiful that I can't have as many orgasms as before."

"I'm not sleeping with him, Anya," Dean assured her.  "It's not fair to him.  He's still recovering from the last one he slept with when they tried to take his stuff."  John coughed so he smirked at him.  "The ones who took the money wanted to be broken in so they had some idea.  It got him the money back faster."

"You were where?"

"He walked in while I guarded his back.  They set up a temporal spell.  He showered.  Then we found out about the tattoos."

John smacked him on the arm.  "Dumbass."

"Sorry, sir."  He looked at Giles again.  "You guys *stake* vampires instead of using a weapon from a safe distance?"

"You can't frisk them for information if you don't," Anya said.  "Or money.  They won't need it."  She went toward the back of the shop.  "I'm putting on some water for coffee.  Anyone want any?"

"Please," John called.  He looked at Giles.  "He's doing good."

"That's excellent.  What happened this morning?"  Dean pointed at the rest of the potion Tara had capped and put on the counter.  He looked then groaned.  "That girl."

"Yup," Dean said, showing him a picture.  Giles snorted, shaking his head. "So, what sort of dirt can I get on Xander for the next time he so totally screws up me hitting on a girl?" he asked with a bright smile.

Giles looked at him.  Then at John.  "Have you had him irreparably fixed?"

"No, I want grandchildren some year," he assured him dryly.

"Ah.  Well, do think about that option with Xander.  Who knows what his children will be."  Dean growled so he stared him down.  "I was teasing, young man, and Xander has said often enough he doesn't want children."

"That's for him to decide.  He's not a familiar."

"Of course he's not, even if he is the thing that held tempers in many nights."

"Yes but it hurt him to do so," John told him.  Giles nodded at that, accepting it.  Xander strolled in with Buffy.  "Done with your cookies?"

"Her mom went to make dinner and I'm invited.  You too, Dean.  For some reason she thinks we're dating.  Not really sure why."

"It's because I'm so adorable," Dean shot back with a grin.  "Even straight guys should want me like all straight women do."

Xander looked him over but shrugged.  "I've seen better bodies on vamps and prettier incubuses.  What makes you more special than a sex demon who spends all day in a gym?" he teased back with an evil smirk.

"I'd show you but I'm straight."

Xander laughed.  "I'm sure you are.  That's why you offer so very prettily."

John groaned.  "That's the other point.  Xander, break the last of the innocence somehow.  Before we get to Missouri's house.  She's got something around her that goes after hunters who aren't totally debauched."

Xander grimaced.  "Still not my thing, John."

"Tough, kid."

"Fine, Dad."

"Thank you.  I'm sure you and Dean can stop in Vegas or something."

"But Giles said that's a myth," Buffy nearly whined.

"It'd mean Xander could date guys," Dean told her.

She considered it for a minute.  "He might draw even worse guys," she decided.  "It's bad enough we had to save him from two of his other ones."

Xander looked at her.  "One.  The praying mantis, Buffy.  I saved you from Ampata."

She frowned.  "No way."

"She was going to eat your butt until I told her she had to eat me first and she couldn't.  That means I won.   You may've saved me from the virgin eating giant bug lady but not her.  Or Cordelia.  Or Anya.  Or even Faith."

"You dated her?  Is that what..."  Giles smacked her on the head.  "Ow!"

"No, Buffy, but she did take care of the things that could eat me because I hadn't had any yet," he said with a sweet smile, making her back off.  "The same night I had the zombie disable the bomb in the school when you thought I was useless."

She swallowed, staring at him.  "You were there?"

"No, Jack was there.  I followed to stop him.   After a pleasing chat he decided it'd be better if he disarmed the bomb he had made and run off.  Fortunately Oz ate him."

She shuddered.  "I'm sorry, Xander.  We were worried."

"Then you should've trained me," he said bluntly.  "Training you can fall back on.  Not like Willow's any good in a fight.  Training is all Giles has."

Giles put a hand on her shoulder to stop the argument.  "He's right.  Had we been doing our duty to our friends, we would have trained him," he said gently.  He looked at Xander.  "You did learn a lot by jumping in."

"Did you ever think about teaching him how to shield himself from more possessions?" John asked.

Giles nodded.  "I tried to impose one and it wouldn't go up.  I couldn't figure out why and I was looking for a better stopgap when Halloween happened.  Then it seemed to stop."

Xander shook his head.  "It didn't stop.  The guys who helped drain me found others that she erased my memory of.  I have no idea if I've broken the innocence barrier stuff or not."  Giles blushed at that.  "Or even if we did something since she had a lust marking put on me back in high school."  Buffy shuddered.  "I asked, not the reason for the botched love spell."  John cuffed him on the head.  "Ow!"   He glared at him.  "She dumped me on Valentine's Day and I was young, stupid, and full of pride.  Of course I wanted to get her back.  I learned my lesson!"

"Good," Dean agreed.  "Hate to see it happen again."

"Then never give me cranberry juice, rum, vodka, and tequila shooters.  Somehow it brings out the same taint and makes women chase after me."

Dean stared at him.  "Good to know."

"Another good reason why Xander does not drink," Xander said dryly, smirking some.

"We'll figure out if you have any other liquor keys built in."

"Tequila and/or rum may make it easier for the hyena to come out.  We think it's the cranberry in the other mixture that made the lust spell come back since I get a lot of happy looks and touches when I drink cranberry juice.  Next time we go clubbing I should try that."

"As long as it's not a demon breeding club this time," John said dryly.

Xander looked at him.  "You would've rather we stayed at the place where the pack of training succuba were playing?"

"No," he decided.

"Then quit."  He looked at them again, seeing the horrified looks.  "Buffy, Dean said me getting low was an image that would make gay guys very happy."

"He dances like a girl," Dean agreed.  "Booty shaking and all.  Sammy would be very amused."  His father got him again.  "He would!"

"Sammy dances like a girl too," he reminded him.

Dean looked at him.  "Not my fault, I tried.  I remember Mom liked to dance so he got that from you."

Xander got out of range.  "Maybe you were jealous a younger boy was getting your attention?" he teased.  Dean growled and tried to pounce but Xander got him onto his back with a smirk.  "Hi.  Happier now that you're on your back?"

"No, get off."  He got Xander onto his back and smirked down at him.  "I'm so making you clean the next demon mess up, Xander.  You can even dig the next few graves so we can salt and burn ghosts' corpses."  Xander groaned.  "Such a good little brother."  He patted him on the head then had to yelp when Xander bit him.  "Hey!"

John sighed, pulling Dean off Xander.  "Play later.  Back at the motel."  He looked at Giles.  "He makes it much more interesting sometimes."

"He did for us as well.  He kept our spirits up even in the worst times."  Xander grinned at that.  "Go watch Joyce, Xander.  Take Dean with you.  I'm sure he could fix the horrible t- shirt you're wearing."

Dean looked then at him.  "I bought it for him and it's as ugly as he's allowed to go now.  I said so."  He walked Xander out.  "Show me the rest of the town on the way there."

John shook his head.  "Was he always that bouncy?"  Giles nodded.

"Don't give the Xander chocolate," Buffy warned.  "He gets worse."

"I saw that."  He smirked at her.  "It was cured too.  I made him puke it back up."  She walked off laughing.  He looked at Giles.  "I'm watching out for him.  He's taking his training very seriously and he's come a long way.  I found out that he was tripping because he was trying to react as fast as the vampires do."

Giles moaned.  "I hadn't considered that.  I thought it some strange growth spurt he hadn't finished yet.  Perhaps from the mermaid taint."

"Bobby says he still carries that," he admitted.  He stood up.  "How is she?  He wanted to know."

"Trying very hard."

"Trying and doing are two different things.  How many times did you try to give it up?"

Giles nodded at that thought.  "I've been helping her.  I honestly had willful blindness.  I didn't want to think that my student could go that way.  She had no reason to rebel. She had no one pushing her down.  Her parents didn't agree with her choices but they were mostly absent."

John walked over.  "Xander said she stole books, Rupert."  Giles' face fell at that.  "He also said she was trying out odd combinations to see what it did.  She was approaching it like some scientists take on new elements to see what they can do.  She never took it that seriously as a craft and an art."

Giles nodded.  "I've been seeing hints of that."

"Tara said she's still stockpiling as well."  Giles gave him an alarmed look.  "She can't do that and try to work on herself."

"I'll call Ethan back tonight to help me with that."

"Good.  I don't want to see anyone so radiating magic that they create a hellmouth over the week it takes to drain the magic from them like the last one."

Giles nodded.  "She's done wrong and she realizes it."

"So like any scientist she's discovering the flaws in her scientific method.  Then what?"

Giles nodded. "I'll work on her, John.  You have my word I'm trying."

"Good.  Let's keep the kids apart?  At least those two?"

"Can Xander use one of those infernal machines?"

John shrugged.  "If so I'll tell him to email her instead of letting her kidnap him.  We had to make him a charm against it."

"Good.  That was a bit odd."  John nodded.  "How were the brownies?"

"Pretty good."  He smirked.  "Dean stole half."  That got a smile.  "They're a good team.  I'm going to suggest that Xander stay with Dean and hunt with him.  Dean does better when he's not alone and he has someone to bounce ideas with.  They seem to fit well together."

Giles smiled and nodded.  "That would be acceptable.  Xander can be alone but it's not good for him.  He gets morose and starts to think the worst of himself."

"He said he didn't want to take it because he thought he was going to start getting indiscriminate some year soon," John said quietly.  "Then he realized more people died because he didn't step in.  We had to tell him a few times that he wasn't responsible.  He's still carrying pain from graduation."

"Buffy as well."  He gave him a small smirk.  "You'll both do the boy good or else it won't be Willow you'll have to worry about."

"He's like an extra son now."  He looked at the door then at him. "I'm heading back to the motel.  If the boys get into too much trouble over the next few days, let me know.  I'm going to sit back and watch Xander handle it himself."  That got a nod and John left, going to settle in.  The owner had told him the boys had said they were meeting him here so they had paid for the double room.  He made sure the boys got the double room and he got one to himself.  The boys talked about stupid things and women; he didn't need to hear that.

***

"Oh, please stake me," a falsetto voice called out from behind the vampire standing in Dean's way.  "Please, mister Hunter sir, please stake me with the big stake?  I need the bigger stake to take me and make me see God so I'm redeemed before I'm ashes forever."  The deaf vampire, not hearing any of this, just stared and blocked Dean's path.

Dean stared back then shrugged and staked her.  "Okay, your wish and all that."  He walked into the room, looking at the other vampires and their hostage.  Xander was in chains.  A bit bloody.  Cackling madly at that performance.  "What did they give you, dude?"

"Not a clue but I don't hurt, I'm happy that hell is coming soon, and hey, it's not making me want to sleep with them even if they want me to.  Pity."  He looked at Dean then up, then at his body.  "I say we coat the floors."

Dean nodded. "I could like that." He pulled a gun and shot the other still stunned stupid vampires with the wooden bullets he and Xander had been working on.   One was left standing.  "These still compact too much."

"Maybe a strengthening spell?" Xander asked, arching his back and kicking off the floor to kick the vampire at Dean, who staked him.  He flipped over, releasing the cuffs from the hooks on the ceiling.  Then he laughed again.  "There's more.  Got a lockpick?"

Dean pulled him closer, letting the boy lean against something while he stood between his thighs to pick the cuff locks.  They came undone so he looked at him.  "Let's head."

"There's ten more and they've got a nuclear weapon," Xander said.

Dean blinked.  "How in the hell?"

"I don't care."

"Good point."  He nodded. "Let the Feebs sort that out?"

"After we get it out of the city."

"Agreed.  Where?"  Xander pointed and took his spare gun.  "How did you get them to call me?"

"Said we'd all party and taking down two hunters was nearly as good as a slayer."  That got an evil smirk.  "Ready?"

"You good?"

"I'll be fine for a while."  They led the way into the other room, busting in and taking down the vamps in there.  "You're right, they do shrink too far."  He changed clips and went to look at another one.  He leaned down to stake her then looked at the bomb.  "Aw, shit."

Dean backed away from him.  "That bad?  Is it on?"

"Yeah, a lot."  He patted Dean down, getting his cellphone to make a call. "Cordelia, it's an emergency.  I need a Fed we can trust in Sunnydale ASAP.  One who can uncode the nuclear bomb we just found.  It's got a day.  We need one now at the old school."  He hung up and tossed the phone back.  "We have to meet them.  Half of them know me."

"I'll fade and watch in case you're captured."  Xander handed back the gun, getting a smile.  "Be safe."

"I'll try."  He looked outside at the jeeps.  "They got someone from the local base."  He turned back and Dean had already escaped.  He walked out there, holding up his hand.  "I'm Harris, formerly on Summer's team.  We just found what looks like a timer running, nuclear device inside.  We took down the Initiative style hostiles already."  They ran inside.  He followed, leading one into the room since he had on bomb gear.  "This thing."

He looked then nodded.  "It's a proton bomb," he called.  "Start evac, get me a Fed here!" he shouted.  He looked at Xander, then at his injuries, then into his eyes.  "You need medics?"

"No.  I'm at the motel visiting."

"Take it and go, Harris.  We didn't see you."  He nodded, disappearing into the night with his friend, the shadow.  Someone handed him a phone.  "Merps."  He listened.  "I've got a proton capable bomb with a day timer.  I have it down to a day and ten hours.  I need help now in Sunnydale.  Come to us.  We'll give you directions once you're nearer."  He hung up and looked at it.  "I want this area evacuated as soon as we wake someone up," he ordered.

"Going, sir."  The guy guarding him looked at the bomb.  "Could that timer be a fake?  I can see blinking back here."

Merps looked then sighed.  "It's not any better.  It's two bombs linked together.  Get out of here, get them here."  He nodded, going to give them directions to where they were.   Merps looked up as three Feds rushed in, one in bomb disposal gear.  "The guard found another timer."  He pointed.  "The hostiles, Initiative style hostiles, have been dealt with by a captive they had.  He found the bomb and called us."  That got a nod from the suits.  "Just don't ask."

"We heard and were briefed," one admitted.  "Anyone who can help us with these things, see if there's more?"

"We know someone who might.  I ordered an evac.  What can I do to help?"

"Stay there.  It's a code."  He put in the official code and it worked.  The second timer he had to disable and then they dismantled the bomb, what they could, so it could be safely transported.  "It's safe."  The suits got the bomb loaded onto the copter and taken to a more secure location to do the forensic tests while they figured out where it came from.

Merps went to the motel with the head Fed, finding the boys in their shared room.  Dean answered their polite knock.  "Boys, they need to know if there's more."

Xander looked at him.  "There's always more.  Let me talk to someone to see."  That got a nod so he called Giles' place.  "Is Spike there?  Because the vamps who had me had a nuclear bomb, Giles.  The suits are looking for anyone we didn't get and anyone who can help them plug that tragically open leak in Bethesda and the one in Colorado.  Yeah, them.  Any idea where?"  He wrote down a few addresses.  "You sure?"  He nodded.  "The Feds are here.  Want me to send them that way or have her meet them there?  Because if they're using the other side...." he trailed off.  "Yeah, that's why, Giles."  He nodded. "Thanks."  He hung up and handed the Fed the addresses.  "As far as they know they're there.  Summers will meet you there to take care of anyone or anything that needs it.  The Initiative wanted her."

"We've heard.  I took over the investigation of your graduation, Mr. Harris," he said calmly.

Xander nodded.  "More things like what hit the crowd, not the former mayor.  She can fight those."

"I'll let her.  Thank you for calling us."

"I can disarm many things.  Not those."  That got a nod and they left.  Xander looked at Dean.  "Miller time?"

"Definitely.  Not at the demon bar though."

"The Bronze?"

"Teen hangout?"  Xander smirked and nodded.  "Fine.  Let's head."  They went to do that, dragging his father with them.  "C'mon, dad.  We just ran into a respectful suit.  It's time for a beer because this reality is too warped for us."

"Oh, come on, just because vamps are getting smarter in their world endage plans and figured out the huge ass hole in the base in Colorado doesn't mean that it's that warped.  Even Buffy could see the holes.  Though she'd mutter 'eww' the whole way up the sewer pipe."  John stopped to stare at him.  He grinned.  "Soldier memories?"

"Fat chance, Xander," John growled.  "How?"

Xander grinned. "That's where they were holding Ethan.  I had to get him free to clean some karma.  I reconned then I sent a demon to snatch him."

John moaned, rubbing his head.  "See, told you it was time for a drink," Dean told him, walking off again.  His father headed for a real bar.  "That's the demon bar," he called after him.   John grumbled something but followed.

Xander grinned.  "And see, no apocalypses in sight since they wanted to sleep with me."

"You're getting laid tonight so you quit attracting them," Dean complained.

"Two were at the grad battle with me," he said more seriously.  "They wanted my help, Dean.  I'd be an asset to their war."

Dean sighed but nodded.  "Still getting you laid."  Xander grinned at that and they headed into the bar.  John went to the bar.  Dean went to hustle pool.  Xander went to dance and play.  Dean glanced at him every now and then.  He was still sucky on the floor.  He walked over to his father and pointed.  "See, told you so."  He went back to his game and it was better.  He was fleecing this vampire for a lot of money because the vampire was stupid.  Death did bad things to the brain.  He'd have to remember that so he never ended up a stupid fledge.  And that Sammy never ended up a stupider than usual fledge either.  It'd be a shame if his brother's giant brain made him turn into the drooling, stupid vampire in front of him.  Finally the vampire was broke and had to borrow enough for his last bet from his buddies, who were all staked when Xander came back.  Dean looked at him.  "Having fun?"

"No.  They won't play with me."

"That's because you dance like a girl."

"So?  They should appreciate that!"  He looked back at the floor then at him.  "No one will dance with me, Dean."

"Are you still high?"

"Well.  Yeah," he admitted, then he grinned. "They still won't dance with me.  Not even the vamps.  Usually they love me, which means I don't have to do sex stuff that would make Willow scream and try to magic me again."

Dean shook his head.  "Fat chance."  He pocketed the money then let Xander lead him out onto the floor.  He had rhythm and he could teach.  He would teach Xander how to dance like a guy if it killed the other guy.  He would.  He vowed he would.  Even if it killed Xander to learn to dance like a guy.  Though, him doing girl moves against his front was kinda hot... but Dean wasn't going to think about that.  Too many pretty girls in the club.  He shrugged at one.  "Someone has to fix what his female friends did to him."  He made Xander dance in front of him, showing him with the girl who clearly wanted between them.  She was giggling and blushing.  He let her slide between them and it was nice.  She was warm; a nice change on the hellmouth.  She wasn't a succubus; a nice change for Xander.  She wasn't going to try to kill him, a nice change for all three qualifications.  Xander got her back and started to move like a girl again so he straightened him out, squeezing her more tightly between them.  She was moaning into his chest and it was nice.  He smirked at her.  "Help me straighten him out again?  He could use some straight teaching."

She winked and turned to dance with Xander, letting Dean have her back.  The other guy was too cute to be gay in her book.

John watched, the beer lubing a few unused cogs in his head.  Dean and Xander worked well together.  They were better than most teams of hunters.  Even Dean and Sammy didn't work as well as Dean and Xander did.  And Dean clearly could learn to like Xander.  So maybe that was a good thing.  He finished his beer and got another one bought for him by Joyce Summers.  He smiled at her.  "Ma'am."

She pinched him on the cheek.  "A nuclear bomb?" she asked in his ear.

He nodded.  "They said they wanted Xander to help them with their war.  A kid who had been at graduation under Xander's command."

She shook her head.  "Poor boy.  Let's hope Dean can fight some nightmares."  He nodded, nodding at the floor.  She looked then blushed.  "Well.  It looks like he hasn't fully taken Willow's teachings."  She gave him a squeeze around the shoulders.  "Come for dinner with the boys tomorrow night, John."  She left, going back home to wait up for her daughter.

John looked out there. You could barely see the girl between them.  They were hot and Xander was clearly teasing them about something.  The girl finally turned into a demon and tried to eat Xander but he stopped her by kissing her and she went back to her dreamy-eyed and wet-pantied slut look.  So they had it.  He took his last beer back to his room.  The boys could handle it and he could ignore any giggling going on tonight.  Though he would beat Dean's ass if he brought the demon home with them.  Xander wasn't a demon in most ways that counted, though if Anya was right he was one in bed, but no other demons.

***

Dean woke up to Xander struggling against him.  He looked at the sleeping boy, shifting to hold him better.  He had known he'd have nightmares so he let Xander get a bit more drunk than he should and put him into the bed with him.  It'd be easier if he woke up with him there to comfort the nightmares.  Xander was pushing, struggling, trying to get away.  "Shh," he soothed in his ear, stroking down his arm, taking his hand to hold.  "It's Dean, Xander.  That's just a nightmare.  Let it go.  Let it flow past and leave."  Xander let out a small whimper so he held him tighter.  "Shh.  It'll be okay."  Xander suddenly woke up with a gasp, sitting up.  Dean followed, moving to hold him.  Xander nearly fell on the floor trying to get away from him.  "Fine, waste your chance for one of the two hugs I give a decade," he said dryly, looking down at the other guy.

Xander looked at him.  "You only give two a decade?"

"Yeah.  We're not a hugging family, Xander."  He laid down on his stomach to get to face height.  "Want to talk about it?"  Xander shook his head.  "Want to show me?"

"Show you?"

"You've had a lot of nightmares about this town.  You can take me there to show me.  Then if you feel more like talking we can.  You told me about being in the local high school but not about anything else."

Xander shook his head, rubbing his eyes.  "It won't help."

"Was it the stuff earlier?"

"No.  Earlier."

"Graduation?"

Xander looked at him.  "No.  Earlier than meeting Buffy."

Dean got up and pulled on clothes, then hauled Xander up, handing him his clothes.  "Let's go see the sight of the nightmares.  Think about it like practical therapy.  That way you don't try to get away from me again."

"I'm not your pet."

"So? Never said you were.  You nearly pushed me out of bed."

Xander nodded, putting his clothes on so they could go walking around the town at three in the morning.  Xander's body retraced the familiar routes, neatly hopping over small hedges like he still did it every day.  He looked up as his steps slowed, pausing to look at the house.  It looked well tended.  "Mom must be paying the neighborhood kid at the end of the block again."

Dean looked at the house.  "Landlord painted recently?"

"Probably.  He does that every few years."  He stared at the house.  There were lights on.  People moving.  At least one person by the shape of the shadow on the blinds.  He watched then looked at Dean.  "We should go before these neighbors wake up."

Dean looked at the house then listened. "No one home."  Xander frowned, glancing at the driveway.  "It's got fliers, Xander.  No one's driven it in a few days."  Xander nodded, relaxing against the side of the house again.  Dean pulled him into the shadows when a cop car cruised up the street.  The cop car stopped in front of the house and one got out to go knock on the door.  They listened to the man complain that he was not being too loud and he didn't have to turn anything off, it was his house!  The officer sounded tired of this already and told him to or else he'd arrest him and make him pay a fine.  Then he left.  Though the cop did stare at the shadows for a second.

"He's our very own vampire cop," Xander admitted.  He watched his father sneer at the cop car then looked at his buddy.  "I'm not going over there."

"That's fine.  You don't have to.  I'm not going to make you."

"You can't either."

"I don't want to, Xander. I get enough stress from my family."  Xander nodded, letting him go back to watching as the house went dark and the noise stopped.  He saw Xander tense.  "Show me your room?" he whispered in his ear.

Xander frowned at him.  "Why?"

"We can see if you left anything that needs to go to the storage place."

Xander shrugged.  "Fine."  He led the way over there, avoiding the noisy and dangerous spots.  The rake that hadn't moved in three years.  The hose that was coiled just right to trip someone up.  The stairs that squeaked as he snuck down to the basement door.  Xander pulled out his keys and let him inside, checking before turning on a light.  He nodded at Spike.  "Hey.  Laundry?"

"Safer and free.  Cable."

Xander nodded. "This is Dean."

"I saw.  They're still up."

Xander grimaced. "We'll be quiet."  He let Dean see.  "This was my last room."

Dean looked around.  "This isn't cheery.  I always imagined you having stuffed animals."

"He died when I was four."  He let him look around, wincing when he heard the footsteps upstairs.  Spike gave him an odd look.  "Going with us?"

"Nah.  Probably your Ma again."

Xander grimaced then shook his head. "Dean?" he called quietly.  Dean snuck back and they headed for the door.  At least until someone shot at them.  He turned to look at her. "That will bring the cops back, Mom, and that's not nice to the neighbors.  Spike, you good?"

"I liked this shirt," he complained.  He glared at the woman, vamping out.  She ran shrieking back up the stairs.

"We need to disappear," Xander said, pulling Dean with him.  They came out and found his father out there.  "Checking to make sure I got all my clothes since I won't be back this way for at least a year."

His father stared at him.  "I doubt you left anything with the way you left, boy."

Xander nodded. "I had to.  Willow made me sick."

"Oh, you don't like gay people suddenly?" he sneered.  "You used to."

"Not that way.  She made me physically sick.  I had to get a treatment in South Dakota.  Ran into Dean and his father, who I've been traveling with since they do so great and they watch my back for me."  He shrugged. "Guess I didn't leave anything, Dean."

He nodded. "That's fine.  We can leave tomorrow."  He moved Xander. "C'mon.  Let's hit the motel."

"I don't think so. The boy there owes me.  He didn't die like he should have."

Xander stared at him.  "Why would I have?"

"Money, boy," he laughed. "All about the money you could've made us if you had died like everyone else around here does."

Xander shrugged.  "Sorry you couldn't kill me well enough but tough.  Or at least I am."  His father rushed him and Xander let him have one blow then he hit him back.  "No more."  He stared at his father.  "Never again."

Dean pulled Xander off.  "C'mon.  Time to fade into the shadows."

Xander nodded.  "We should."  He looked at Spike.  "Feel lucky."

"No thanks."  He winced when the old guy got up and tried to get them again with a scream of anger.

"Damn fags.  Couldn't die and can't even give me grandkids to kill!" he shouted.

Dean got the guy off Xander, kicking his ass.  When he was down he turned to look at Xander. "You good?"

"Better," he admitted.  He looked up at the front of the house, nodding at the cop.  "I came back to make sure I hadn't left anything.  Apparently I didn't die for the insurance money."

"He filed to say you had been kidnaped and were killed but no one could find a body."  The cop came closer.  "You want to file assault charges, boys?"

Xander shook his head.  "Not worth it in this town, is it?"

"Not usually."  He smirked.  "You need an ice pack."

Xander looked at himself then at the cop.  "I've had worse.  Thank you anyway.  Have a better night."  He and Dean started to walk off but his father grabbed the officer's gun and tried to shoot him.  Xander reacted without thinking, turning to shoot him back.  Not center mass, on some level he recognized not to do that.   The shoulder wound was bad enough to make his father scream and cry in pain.  He sighed, dropping the gun.  The cop gave him an odd look.  "I'm sorry."

"No, that's what training's for," he told him.  "Take it and go, Harris.  Out of my town."

"Tomorrow morning," he agreed.  That got a nod and they left.  Dean picked up the gun.  Xander looked at it, shaking his head.  "Not yet."

"It was instinctive, Xander."

"I know.  Doesn't make it any easier."  He walked them past Joyce's house, seeing the lights still on so he went to knock.  Buffy gave him an odd look.  "I went to check my former hole and my father said I didn't die for the insurance money.  He pulled an officer's gun to try to shoot me."

"I'll tell Mom you won't make dinner," she said.  "Leaving Dean?"

"I'm heading to LA to check on Cordy.  Dean can stay if he wants.  His dad too."

She nodded. "We'll deal with that," she said, giving him a hug.  "Be safe, Xander.  We don't want to attend funerals anywhere."  He nodded, giving her a small smile before leaving.  She looked at Dean.  "Mom's making meatloaf."  She stopped him from moving.  "He needs the time, Dean.  He'll brood for a bit then rationalize.  Like he did his first vampire."

"He didn't kill him."

She smiled.  "I knew that.  He doesn't want to."  She let him go.  "By now he's already bought or taken a car off the vamps and packed up to go.   Come over tonight.  We'll talk and see what's going on."  He nodded.  "Cordelia can watch him for tomorrow night.  She's been wanting to see him again."

"Thanks."  He went back to the motel.  Xander was indeed gone.  All his stuff.  Dean sat up to think and watch the sun come up.  Around here that wasn't as sure of a thing to happen as it was anywhere else.  He heard his father get up and knocked on the connecting door.  "Xander went to visit Cordelia after his father attacked him and tried to shoot him."

"Xander hit him back?"

"Shoulder.  He wouldn't take the gun when I picked it up."

"We'll work on it.  Your first time is always harder.  Remember getting your first deer?"  Dean nodded. "The same thing only more personal.  Why did you two go there?"

"He was having nightmares and I figured out a while ago that he'll talk about it if you take him wherever it was happening.  Last night we went to the college so he could have Initiative nightmares and explain that to me.  Tonight he had family nightmares.  His father tried to say he had been kidnaped and killed, filed for the insurance.  He took an officer's gun after trying to attack him.  Xander got him back once.  The second time I got him.  Then he grabbed the gun."

"He'll handle it but I don't like this going off alone thing."

Dean shrugged.  "Buffy said he needed to think.  She still wants us at dinner so her mother can grill us without Xander hearing.  She's making meatloaf."

John nodded.  "We can do that."  Dean nodded. "Go rest."  Dean went to bed while John watched out for them that day.  The local paper didn't have anything about the incident.  The arrest report had one where Xander's father had been arrested for being drunk and grabbing his gun to shoot himself.  Attempted suicide.  "They really do cover up everything around here," he muttered.

***

Xander found his target out and about, as he had heard he would be today.  He turned up the music he had playing and rolled down the window.  The thumping bass beat of the classic rap made the people around him look.  It was a fine car.  The vamp he had taken the keys from wouldn't need it anymore.  He rolled down the passenger's side window farther.  "Hey, homeboy, got a few for a comrade?" he called over the music.  He watched a fine-looking woman cross the street and changed the song to _Baby's Got Back_.   She gave him a dirty look but he only grinned at that.

"Quit staring at my friend's sister," Gun demanded without having seen the driver was more than white.

Xander leaned his seat back and looked at him.  "Oh, shut up.  I can appreciate her.  She's probably not evil enough for me anyway."  Gunn gaped.  He grinned.  "Morning.  Am I that mythical already?"

"Xander?"

"Yup.  Get your ass in the car.  We need to talk."  He turned down the music once the windows were up.  "Have to keep up the image."  He drove them off, taking him to a nearly empty parking lot so he could turn off he car and look at him.  "How's Cordy doing?"

"Not bad.  Not great this week but not bad.  What's going on?  We heard you left Sunnydale."

"After Willow decided to use me as a convenient battery for magical energy.  She was stuffing me so full it took a week to get it all out of me.  I created a small hellmouth where I was drained."  Gunn winced at that.  "So I'm training with a few hunters in the midwest.  We came back to deal with the Willow issue again since she magicked me against my will and then erased my memories of it."

"Damn."

"Yeah."  He grimaced then looked at his buddy again.  "You sure she's good enough?"

"She's not happy this week.  It's *that* week."

"I remember those.  Have since her second one.  Her mother kept her out during her first one."

Gunn snickered.  "I'll ask her later.  Why are you in our town?"

"Because there's some things I don't want to leave in Sunnydale and I know that the slayer crew there can't use them.  I don't want to sell them to any ordinary thug.  I don't know if you can use them but you'd know who to sell them to if you didn't."

"What sort of stuff?"

"About three crates of stuff.  I've got one in the trunk."  They got out to look.  Gunn whistled.  "Exactly.  Buffy won't use them.  She hates guns.  We don't need them.  I don't need them on my hunting team.  They use shotguns, not Initiative weapons."

Gunn looked at one closer then at him.  "Need a high price?"

"I'd rather they go to someone who would protect the little kids on the street and those who do what we do."

Gunn nodded.  "I can hand them over but I can guarantee you won't get top dollar."  Xander opened a bag to show him the cash inside.  "How?" he squeaked.

"I made a wish on Janus."

"Huh."  He nodded.  "The rest?"  Xander handed him the address to the storage area.  "Yours?  She said something about that storage company."

"I have one there.  That's my secondary one.  Take whatever you need and then show Giles."

Gunn nodded.  "I can do that.  Plus make sure they don't get into thug hands.  By the way, the ride?  It's a bit more hip than we heard you were from the Queen."

"The vamp didn't need it.  I'm dumping it in Vegas."

"Even better."  He looked in the trunk.  "Let's take this back to Angel's lair."

"I was there.  It's depressing.  He's brooded the building into radiating depression."

"Cordy would squeal and be happier."

"Then hit me."

"Well, yeah, but you knew that when you hit the town's boundaries, Xander.  You dated her when she was evil."

"She had a few mental growth spurts that made her realize her sheep were stupid too," he said dryly.  "I can meet you there or we can cruise."

"Let's cruise."  He closed the trunk and they headed back together.  Xander handed him the keys when they got out.  "You sure?"

"I'm heading to Vegas.  It was a vampire's.  Sell it, chop it, whatever."  He got his three bags and the bag of cash out, then looked at his battle axe.  He put it into the bag of cash and zipped it again.  Then he grinned.  "Let's get beaten."  He carried the stuff inside.  "I'm amazing."

Cordelia looked at him.  "The only amazing thing is that you match and they're not ugly clothes," she countered.

He grinned. "Dean made me buy new clothes.  He and his dad hated my other shirts too.  So you got agreed with by a Marine and his son."

"I'm not sure if I should be happy or not," she said, starting to frown.  "Why are you here?"

"Layover from Sunnydale to Vegas.  We went to check on the evil redheaded one who magicked me again."   He put the stuff down.  "And hey, I was a good boy.  I found a Feeb who was nice, polite, and respectful after I called in the nuclear weapon we found when one of the kids at grad who had been turned captured me to join their army."

Gunn blinked. "Nuclear?" he asked.

"They said it was a proton bomb."  He grinned.  "Then my father tried to shoot me because I wasn't dead and he couldn't have insurance money."

"Charming," Gunn said.  He went to tell Angel about the stuff and Xander being there.

Angel came to the door of the office, staring at Xander.  "They finally got you drained?"

"Took them a week.  I created a mini hellmouth with the energy they drained off me.  Giles sent someone to fix it for the guy.  Now I'm training with a few hunters.  We were local to deal with Willow again."

Angel nodded. "Thanks for the weapons."

"Buffy hates guns."

"I know."  He went back into the office.  "How is Ethan?"

"Better now that he's free."  He looked at her again, seeing the shocked look.  "The last time he tried to plague Giles, Giles turned him into the Initiative."  She shuddered. "Exactly.  It wasn't right to leave him there so I had him freed."

"I guess it's good for your karma."  She gave him a careful hug.  "You're too tense."

"I had nightmares about the family stuff.  This whole trip has been a nightmare.  Willow turned me funny colors.  Buffy thinks me going gay is a good idea unless I draw more evil ones.  Joyce thought Dean was cute and mine.  I'm going to defrag in Vegas."  She smirked at that.  "I am."  He looked at his stuff then at her.  "How are you?"

"I'm okay.  It's been a long week."

"I remember those.  Now we hunt, slay, and move on."

"Car?" Gunn asked.

"Dean said I could ride with him.  Otherwise, we look like some strange convoy.  Oh, the Glory thing is done with."  He looked at her.  "Fireball cures that and killed her plus her host."

She blinked.  "I heard about a fire up there."

"My old car."  He smirked.  "It was a pretty minion weenie roast."  She grinned at that, shaking her head at the bad joke.  "So, I'm off to Vegas with my shiny battle axe, some money, and some clothes because Dean insisted that I buy plain looking stuff that's really boring."  She laughed.  "He wants to dress me like an assassin and make me quit dancing like Buffy showed me.  I left them with Joyce."  He winked.  "Let me head to the airport.  Someone call me a spiffy, smelly ride?"

"Sure," Gunn said, shaking his head.  He had heard the kid was an original and every time he met the kid he proved it worse than the time before.  Then again, whoever this Dean guy was had a point about his clothes.  The last time he'd seen him wearing something he had chosen, he dressed worse than Lorne, their green skin, lounge singer dressing friend and helper.

***////

Xander looked down as his phone rang, smiling at the text message.  He texted back 'vegas' and then headed off to find a good club.  He had lost a grand at poker but had won it all back charming some woman who thought he was an escort.  So what the hell.  It was Vegas and what happened here stayed here unless you got VD, right?  His phone rang again with a 'where in Vegas'.  He looked up then texted that to his buddy.  He ran into a store to get a present he had found earlier then to his motel.  He found Dean parking when he got there.  "Did Willow teleport you?"

"No.  Cordelia said you headed this way.  What's with the box?"

"It's a present.  To make you miss Sunnydale less.  No dad?"

"He headed for Washington state to help another hunter.  He said he'd meet us in Lawrence in a few weeks."

"Okay."

"And I've still got to take you somewhere to debauch you."

"I don't need it."  He let him into his room.  "See, even a double. I told them my errant hunting partner was on his way here.  She thinks we're gay too."

"A lot of people had that same thought about me and Sammy," Dean admitted. "Which is not my thing.  I changed his diapers a few times, I'm not touching his ass for any other reason."  Xander snickered.  "Exactly.  Present?"  Xander handed it over, letting him unwrap the fairly decent looking shirt.  "It's a bit heavy."

"You're wearing four layers in the desert, Dean."  Dean gave him a dirty look.  "It's a new survival product.  Meant to keep you warm or cool depending on what you're doing."

Dean slid into it instead of his other overshirt, nodding.  It fit well enough.  "I can do that.  You hit anywhere yet?"

"Lost a grand playing poker but a nice lady picked me up because she decided I was an escort and she paid me three to make her squeal in multiple keys and have a heart attack."  Dean moaned, leaning forward to rub his face.  "I was going to find a club."

"We can do that."  He stood up, grabbing the room keys and heading out with him.  He'd wear the new shirt for now, see if it was worth anything.  If not maybe Sammy needed one at Stanford?  Xander led him to one of the major resorts that had a club.  Xander peeled off to go gamble some more money away while Dean went to relax in the club.  He hadn't been able to get any cute women in Sunnydale.  They were all demons.  No wonder Xander only dated demons and evil women!  He saw a woman giggling but grinned.  She came over to dance with him.

He had no idea that the back of his shirt now said 'I honk for hookers'.  She was fun and cute in the bathroom and he left, going to find Xander.  His shirt now said 'I like them tough, tie me up and lick me, I sing the Star Spangled Banner'.  He felt the cooling feature come on and it was nice enough he guessed.  Still a bit heavy.  Especially in the back where the cooling system was.  He got into another club but no one there wanted him so he left quickly and headed out of the resort to find Xander.  He had said he was going to an ice cream shop he had found once he had blown the grand in his pocket.  As he passed by a well-lit store front, the reflection of him caught his eye.  He turned, then shrieked in outrage at the 'I'm a natural brunette, wanna check' message across his back.  He took off the shirt and went to beat the crap out of Xander for that prank.  How dare he!

Xander was behind him however and giggling madly into a storefront.  He would be avoiding Dean for a while until he calmed down again.  He bounced off, going back to his playing.  Another lady had decided he was an escort and he didn't really care at the moment.  It was cool with him.  It probably broke some of that innocence John was so worried about anyway so hey, motel money for Dean.  That way they didn't have to sleep on the same bed again and he didn't have to think strange thoughts about his buddy.  It was nice having male friends again and he would not ruin it with the strange thoughts Willow had been trying to suppress.  It was probably them being backed up anyway.  They were coming out now that they could.

***

Dean found Xander later that night, looking at the woman flirting with him.  "Can I please have my friend back?  He's been naughty."

She glared at him.  "I paid for him.  You can have him in an hour or so.  When I'm done."

Dean blinked at that then pulled out a fake ID he had in his wallet to show her.  She went pale and ran off.

Xander sipped his soda.  "I have no clue.  That's the third one."

"Who're they paying?"

Xander shrugged.  "Not a clue.  I figure someone will come complain at me sometime and I'll get them in the nose.  Until then I made some easy spending money."

"Good!  Let's go turn it into motel money.  I'll teach you how to win at poker."  He walked him off.  "I'm still getting you back for that shirt."

Xander grinned. "But it looked so cute on you!"

Dean punched him on the arm.  "Bastard."

"Possibly.  Mom never answered that question when I asked."

Dean grimaced.  "Not like that."

"You said it."

"Boys, the gay club is up the street," one of the hotel workers said with a smile.  "That way the het couple and their kids behind you don't complain to us again about their holiday being interrupted.  She screamed at the last one and we don't want that to happen again."

Xander smiled.  "I'm not gay.  Some woman just decided I was an escort, but I'm not gay."  That got a snicker and the guy walked off.

"We need to take you there anyway."

"I'm fine the way I am!"

"No, you're not."  He walked him off, taking him up the street but the bouncer shook his head.  "He's curious."

"He's underdressed and so are you.  We only allow yuppie gay people, sir.  Try further down the strip.  Or one of the brothels.  I hear there's a nice, discreet one up on eighth somewhere."

"Thanks," Dean said, dragging Xander that way.  "How much do you have on you?"

"Um, about ten grand.  Why?"

Dean looked at him.  "How many thought you were an escort?"

"Three.  That's just tips."  He grinned a mean grin.  "And the paramedics have been very nice about it both times they showed up.  The other one threw her back."

Dean groaned, sighing a bit at the end.  "We should dump some of that before you get pickpocketed or something."

"We're good.  Can we go play with the pretty girls?"

"Not you."  He kept dragging him off, finding one of the underground papers.  That listed the brothel's number so he called from a payphone.  They got a code and took the directions to the brothel.  Once there he walked Xander inside, having taken the money from him in the cab.  He smiled at the madam.  She was clearly not human since she was orange.  "We're hunters."

"I'm not doing anything wrong," she said.

"No but he's got some innocence left."

"Ah!"  She nodded. "We've seen that problem before.  We're a good choice for a first night."

"I still don't need it," Xander complained.

She walked him off, taking him to a room with a very nice looking, mostly female person in there.  "Doug, this is ...."

"Xander.  My teacher said my innocence was annoying him."  Doug smiled and pulled Xander down.  "I've never seen a hermaphrodite demon.  Only read about you guys.  Which type are you?"

"A Refurg."  He kissed him and it was good.  The boy was skilled in at least a few bedroom areas.  He moved down to tease his client, making it good for him.  Xander was clearly not usually gay but that was fine.  He knew about innocence issues too.  He slowly sucked him in, using a slick finger to open his hole and tease him that way.  Xander came with a moan and went limp.  "You know, that should be enough."

Xander grinned. "Thanks.  How much do I owe you?"

He stared at him.  "Do you know a demon named Anya?"

"Yeah.  She's my ex."

"She's said many things about you in the demon community.  Pouting mostly that she lost you."

Xander smirked.  "Any idea why five different women have decided I'm an escort?"

"No.  Were they good?"

"Yeah, until one had a heart attack and the other threw her back riding me."

He laughed.  "We've seen that here before."  He ran a hand up his stomach, letting Xander tease him.  Everyone could use some refining of skills in the bedroom and he wanted to see what was so special about that boy.  For some reason he ended up on his knees howling as Xander took control of his body and mind.  He was sweaty, limp, and begging for mercy by the time the guy was done with his holes.  He fell down and went to sleep.

Xander smiled, tucking him in before getting up and getting dressed.  He ran into the madam, who looked astonished.  He grinned.  "He wanted to play."

"I'm sure he did.  How did you do that?"

"Anya had a tragically long dry spell while she was working the first time.  She was very needy."

"Want a job?"

"John would get really upset with me."

"Probably," she agreed.

"Would that be enough?  He thought so."

"For most things.  A few you'd need to fully pierce the anal innocence.  A few can take someone who hasn't done kinky things with both sexes.  It depends on the demon, dear."  She walked him back to Dean.  "He's technically broken in."

"It'll work?" Dean asked.

She nodded. "Quite.  He wore poor Doug out."

"How much do I owe you?" Dean asked.

"That depends.  Xander, may I  show the tape?  If so I won't charge you."

He grinned but shrugged.  "As long as it's not online or outside of here.  There's a few pieces of demon porn with me after my roadtrip so I could afford to leave Oxnard."

"I thought I recognized you."  She stroked his cheek.  "Have fun, dear.  Be safe."

"Any idea why women think he's an escort?" Dean asked.

"I believe it's the clothes, dear.  They're a bit tight."

Dean looked then nodded, taking Xander off.  He walked him into a modestly nice store and pointed at Xander.  "He's not really an escort but women keep trying to steal him to do that with him.  Can we maybe fix it so he's wearing looser pants and underwear?"

"One of the women stole them," Xander defended.

The salesgirl snickered but got him some underwear and looser pants.  As soon as they walked out, a cop approached them.  "Boys," he said, looking them over.  "There's no legal working boys in this town."

Dean shook his head.  "I'm not working.  We're playing, Officer.  We just hit a nice, legal brothel actually.  I have no idea why people think Xander's selling it.  I even got him looser pants."

"Animal magnetism?" Xander joked with a goofy grin.  "I promise, Officer, I never said I was selling it.  When women ask me I tell them I'm not.  Those who don't ask, I think are just out for cheap thrills and I'll take a tip if they give it.  One said she paid someone but I don't know who.  I'm from near LA.  I didn't think I was this pretty since I never get any play there."

Dean covered the babbling fountain of Xander's mouth with his hand.  "It's been creepy so far.  One woman jumped him and had a heart attack."

"Go back to your motel and sleep it off, boys."

Xander elbowed Dean to get free of him.  "Let us find some meditation herbs first?" Xander asked with a grin.  "Know a good pagan shop?  I left mine at home and I have to meditate.  It might help with this problem."

The cop wrote down an address then walked off.  Looking back, why had he thought those two were selling it?  They were acting married to each other.  Not the first gay couple they'd had in Las Vegas.

Dean took them to a cab to go to the nice shop, walking in and sneezing.  "Oh, yeah.  Someone has a clue."  He looked at the witch behind the counter.  "We think a witch in Sunnydale put a lust curse or something on my buddy.  We're demon hunters and so far today everyone, even the cops, have thought he's selling it."  He looked at Xander, who was trying on sunglasses.  "You don't need any."

"I do so.  I left mine back at Buffy's house."

"They're in the car."

The witch behind the counter glared at them.  "We don't usually help those who murder."

Xander looked at her.  "I only kill things that're attacking others, honey.  I don't kill the harmless or those just existing, only those hunting and attacking, the ones causing problems.  I worked with Buffy."

She nodded.  "We might look at it and let you have a cure."

"Please."  He grinned and walked closer, watching her eyes cloud over.  "Willow's my best friend and I have the feeling that Rosenburg did it again."

She nodded.  "Yeah, probably.  That's a really nice aftershave you're wearing."

"I'm not."   She leaned over to sniff him.  Dean pushed her back gently, getting a pout.  "Lust spell, curse, or otherwise do you think?"

She backed off and her eyes cleared up.  "Oh, that's so a spell."  She went to get something to tell for certain how it was done then gave them what they needed to cure it in their own motel room.  Before she was forced to bankrupt the store to afford them both.

***

Dean called his father from the motel room once they had gotten done spreading the lotion over each other's bodies.  "Are you still near Sunnydale?"  He smirked at Xander.  "Good!  Can you please go back and beat the shit out of Willow for doing it again?  Because for some reason every person we run into thinks we're both selling it.  It had been Xander but now it's me too.  Dad, he made over ten grand today," he said bluntly.  "I did that.  They said he's technically unpure now.  Yes, I'm sure.  Even the witch that we went to see got hit by it.  Xander let one ride him until her back went out and another had a heart attack, Dad.  Please?"  He nodded. "Thanks."  He hung up and looked at Xander, who was lounging on his bed.  "Can't we toast her?"

"She doesn't drink except when Oz left her," Xander said, looking over at him.  "Is there a way to stop her from doing it ever again?"

"If so, we'll find it.  This is not funny."

Xander grinned.  "I thought it was nice of the female officer that caught us walking up the street wanted to keep you in her handcuffs."

"Not funny," he growled.

Xander grinned brighter.  "You'd be laughing your ass off it was me or Sammy."

"Probably, still not funny when it's me.  I'm too special for the masses."

Xander smirked.  "Did you make someone have a heart attack?"

"No.  I hope I never do.  That's overdoing it, don't you think, Xander?"

"Well, yeah.  But she did it to herself."

"Uh-huh."

"I have a fine appreciation of women who climb on top."

Dean gave him a long look.  "They were on top?"  Xander beamed and nodded. "Both of them?"  Xander nodded again, looking smug.  "Oral sex?"

"Of course.  It's fun."  He shifted to cross his feet and put his arms behind his head. "What else did Dad have to say?"

"Just to debauch you."  He laid down too.  He would not stare at Xander.  Even if he could suddenly see why women had paid him earlier.  He called his father back.  "She's starting a new one.  It's affecting me."  He hung up and went to take a cold shower.

"No, she's not," Xander called.  "The lotion's still on."

Dean slammed the bathroom door and made sure the water was as icy as he could make it. This was not fair to him!

***

John walked into the Magic Box an hour later, hauling Willow up and into the back room, Rupert jogging after him.  "We're going to have a talk, Rosenburg.  The sort your natal coven should have with you if you had been part of one."  He sat down and pulled her over his lap, paddling her until  Rupert was begging him to stop.  Then ten more smacks.  "Those last ones are for doing whatever lust spell made everyone, including officers, try to pay both boys for sex."  He sat her on her feet then stood up to stare at her.  "You could have gotten them assaulted.  Dean had to beat off three different kidnaping attempts according to my source out there.  Xander got taken against his will six times."  She burst out in new tears.  "Whatever you did, girl, fix it now and never do it again before I have someone put a mirroring curse on you so whatever magic you pull bounces back on you."

She nodded.  "I will."

"You'd better do it now," Giles said firmly.

She sniffled.  "I wanted him to be happy!"

John grabbed her and she shrieked, running to cancel the spell.  He looked at Rupert.  "Boot camp?"

"I'm seriously thinking about that," he admitted.  "We've done all we can."

Ethan appeared.  "Ah, I felt her join me firmly on the path to Janus' blessing," he said happily, beaming when Buffy leaned in.  "Your friend is now firmly one of mine.  I came to welcome the new acolyte who just cursed her best friend and his hunting partner to lust so strong that it made them into whores."

"Is that why she's crying?  Was it an accident?" Buffy asked.

"No, she's crying because I did what her parents should have and beat her ass," John said bluntly.

Buffy looked in the work area then at him. "Need chains for the next one?"   He stomped in there with Ethan strolling behind him.  She pointed at Ethan's back, giving Giles an odd look.  He motioned her to leave it alone.

"He won't have anyone but girls!  That's wrong and it's evil and it'll kill him and it's bad for his body!" Willow shrieked.  Then John grabbed her again to paddle her some more.

Giles went to call someone.  "Cousin, it's Rupert.  I have the most problematic witch and I'm not strong enough to bind her.  She's casting lust spells to keep someone from having homosexual thoughts.  Yes, Rosenburg again."  He looked back there.  "Ethan's welcoming her to Janus' side and the father of one of the boys she affected this time is beating her for it.  Could someone please come bind her?"  He smiled. "Thank you, Cousin."  He hung up and walked back there.  "A very strong coven in England is going to bind her, John.  Would that be suitable?"

"If she can't do it again," he agreed.  He handed her to Ethan.  "If not, you handle her before we hunt her."

"Of course.  Though it was nice that her spell did increase the fertility in Las Vegas by five  percent.  They'll have a baby boom in nine months."  He glared at the girl, then cast the binding on her himself.  The others could do their own.  His came directly from Janus.  "You're giving your new god a headache.  He said to stop it.  He can't handle that much power at the moment."  Buffy moaned.  "Even Halloween didn't give him this much power.  She honestly raised the birth rate in Las Vegas due to her spell and made Xander earn about ten thousand dollars in tips."

Buffy nodded. "I'm expecting a nice Christmas present then."  She walked off.  "Need me to put on water for tea, Giles?"

"Please, and pull down the brandy as well, Buffy.  Thank you."  He looked at Ethan.  "Cuppa?"

"Please.  She's giving me some ideas I need to purge."  He walked him into the kitchen.  "Do you feel odd that we're working together to stop her?"

"We work with Spike, we worked with Angel.  You're not any worse than either of them," Buffy said, looking serious.  "Just don't plague us anymore?  We've got enough problems.  Xander just blew up a hell goddess for us."

He nodded.  "I heard.  It was nice work."  He took his cup of tea and the brandy to lace it, handing it over to the witch that came in the back door.  "You'll need it.  A hunter just spanked her to the point of bruising."

"She deserved it," Giles assured him.  "This isn't her first lust spell."  He took his own doctored brandy with tea flavoring into the work area.

Ethan made a second cup, smiling at Buffy.  "Thank you, dear.  You're quite tolerable at the moment."  He sipped as he walked off to help her.  Not even the strongest of white witches could handle Rosenburg on her own.  Possibly not even with her coven behind her.

***

to part 2

Dean flipped over on his bed, looking at the snoring Xander.  He didn't know why it was irritating him.  It didn't any other night since he had gotten used to it.  He flipped onto his other side then flipped back to stare at Xander some more.  Was he under another spell?  He got up to light a candle and do a telling spell on him.  Nothing.  So he layered another round of salt wards around him and then his own bed.  He laid back down, marveling that Xander could sleep through that.  Then again, Xander had slept through him and his dad trying to wake him up more than once.  It was nearly a gift according to his father.  He smiled when Xander flipped onto his back and spread out like a cat in the sun.  Arms and legs spread out as far as he could, knees slightly bent but pointing outward.  He wanted to reach over to scratch him on the stomach.  Which made him stop and think.  Why was he thinking about Xander that way?  He was a friend, a fellow hunter.  It'd be like thinking about Bobby that way.  Which made him shudder.

"Demons?" Xander muttered.

"No, thinking too hard," Dean said quietly.  "Go back to sleep, Xander."

Xander blinked at the window then pulled his knife and threw it at the feeling that had woken him.  The demon died with a short scream of pain but it was dead and no longer hidden.  "Demon," he said, nodding, falling back asleep with another snore.

Dean got up to look, taking the knife out and then tossing the semi-dead demon out of their motel room.  It was regenerating, it'd live to bother them another day.  It ran off crying until it walked into traffic.  It wasn't going to regenerate from that taxi hitting it and breaking it in half but pity.  He went back to bed, tucking Xander's knife back under his pillow.  Then he laid down again and went back to figuring out why he was thinking about Xander that way.  He wasn't normally like this.  He had dabbled and played in the past but nothing like this.  This really did need to be found out about.  It had to be a spell, right?

***

John smiled when he woke to a good phone call from his son.  "They got her cut off from the hellmouth and bound from doing more harm.  I spanked her butt good for doing that to you boys."  He listened to him blabber.  Dean didn't usually babble or spit things out.  This time he was babbling worse than Xander.  He smiled.  "Dean, that's not a spell, son."  He laid back down, listening to his son complain that it had to be.  "No, it's not.  It's definitely not a spell.  Not unless you felt an arrow prick on the butt?"  He listened to him stop, think, then groan.  "Do you want my opinion?" he asked before his son could hang up.  "You and Xander fit well together.  You each have a few weaknesses left.  You compensate well for each other.  You trained Xander to hunt with you better than we trained Sammy to hunt with you.  Xander understands you in ways that no one outside the business ever will, Dean."

He listened to him rant about that.  "Not saying that.  I'm saying that if you do decide to do that, then I'm not going to say anything.  I know Xander has some issues because of Willow but if you two want to make a go of it, I think it'll be fine.  Even if you can't work it out, it won't be more than awkward for a few days.  Xander's not like that.  His exes who are still living are important to him and he's still very protective over both of them.  I think he'll end up doing that to you anyway and you'll probably fuss and whine at him for it but it'll be good to have someone at your back who wants to watch it for the reason that they want to keep you around longer.  So think, son.  Do you want to be with Xander?  Do you want to stay with him, sleep with him, fight with him, eat with him.  Make love to him?"  Dean moaned and he smiled when his son hung up.  It was good he was thinking.  It was a nice change.  He got up and went to shower, getting ready to move on and help with that problematic case.  His friend had agreed to meet him for breakfast.  He finally left, going to where he was waiting.  "Sorry, small problem with a witch last night."

"You got hit with something?"

"No, she cursed the hunter Dean and I are working with so he wouldn't have any gay thoughts.  It hit Dean too.  It was so strong women in Las Vegas were paying them.  They thought they were working boys."

The other hunter laughed.  "Dean probably could.  This other one cuter than Sammy?"

"A bit.  About Dean's height.  He had some experience but the same witch tried to kill him so he had to leave his former area and I agreed to firm up some of the teaching he missed by training himself."  That got a nod and a smile. "They're a good team.  Xander works well with Dean.  Balances out his moods."

"Xander?"

"Harris."

"From the slayer's team?"  John smirked and nodded.  "That's where he went?"

"After it took Bobby a week to clean what she did off him."  He sipped the coffee waiting on him.  "What's going on?"

"The kitchen," he complained. "We know it's a spirit of some sort.  We can't figure out where it came from.  There's never been any deaths.  None of us have any associated with us.  It's getting past the salt wards, John, and I have no clue."

"Imp or a brownie?"

"Could be but I have no idea how to handle that."

"I do."  He grinned and dug into the breakfast his buddy had his cook make for him.  "I see the wife's still cooking."

"She's damn good at it," he said happily.  Once John was done, he took his new cup of coffee into the kitchen to figure out what was going on.

***

Dean rolled over to find Xander up and drying his hair on his bed the next morning.  "Hey."

"Hey."  He looked over from under his towel.  "You slept a long time."

"I called dad earlier and went back to bed."  He yawned and stretched then sat up, looking at his friend.  "So, how're we doing this?"

"I can get a new car."

"Would it be worth it?" Dean asked.

Xander considered it. "I've still got four bags, Dean.  You only travel with two usually."

"Some of yours can go into the special compartment or under the back seat, Xander."  He nodded at that.  "It'd keep the money there."  He went to look.  "Are you sure you want to keep the battle axe?"

"It's my baby, Dean.  Like the car's yours."

Dean nodded, looking at him.  "Then we'll deal with it, Xander."  He looked him over.  He was in sweat pants and shirtless.  "What did you want to do today?"

"I don't care.  I saw the sights before you got here.  You want to?  There's a coaster on top of a casino."

Dean grinned.  "We can do that."  That got a happy smile back and Xander wiggled.  "Caffeine?"

"Not yet.  Waiting on you to get up so we can eat."

"Let me change."  He went to do that since he had showered last night.  He came out to find Xander in tighter jeans.  "Going for your record?"

"Need to do laundry before we leave."

"We can do that tonight.  We'll leave tomorrow.  Let's leave the car for a few hours.  It's too early for the local demons to be out and we've both got minor weapons on us."  Xander smiled and nodded, heading out with him to ride that dangerous looking coaster.  After that they took in a few of the free shows.  Xander ran into a demon who begged him for a bit of help so they went to break up the demon gang fight by appearing out of the alley.  The demons stared then scattered like they were Gods.  The female they were fighting over thanked them and left them alone.  "Guess the spell's broken," Dean quipped with a grin.  He saw Xander's hesitation and pulled him closer to kiss.  "I have no idea why I'm doing this."

"Me either.  Damn Willow."

He pulled back to look at him.  "She held them down, Xander."

"Yeah and then they backed up and now it's like a waterfall.  I didn't want to stare at your butt this morning."

"It's not that they're suddenly here.  It's that you're able to acknowledge them."  Xander slumped but nodded.  "Am I that bad?"

Xander frowned. "No.  Not bad.  Very good.  Which is kinda strange for my usual tastes."

Dean grinned. "Thank you.  Hopefully I won't turn evil either."  He walked him off, going to simply walk around with him for a bit.  Finally he looked at him.  "Xander, I'm just as confused as you are.  I've played a bit but it was like a thunderbolt this morning."  Xander beamed.  "If you make me be more mushy I'm going to have to beat your ass."

Xander blew a kiss.  "If you want but I don't think I like spanking games."

"We'll have to see, won't we?" he teased back.  "Anything you want to do today beyond the laundry?"

"There's an arcade I want to visit."  He pulled him over to catch a cab and gave him the name of the place, getting a nod.  Xander paid for their admission then let Dean see.  "It's got the worlds biggest collection of skeeball machines and a nearly human sized whack a mole game."  He drug him around to play on the various games.  Dean beat him at skeeball but he killed him in whack a mole.  Then they went to play a race car game with real sized seats and pedals, plus a steering wheel.  It was good and they had a lot of fun.  Even if the teenagers in the arcade were giving them dirty looks for beating their high scores.

Dean crowed when he won the last match of the race game.  "I knew I could beat your butt, Xander.  That's why you're not driving my car!"

"Maybe I should get my own then.  Make you chase me," he teased.

"Too expensive."  He walked them out, letting Xander get them two large pizzas for the night.  They sent out the laundry to a place that would have it ready in the morning then settled in to watch pay per view movies.  It was...nice.  Even if Dean didn't understand why or want to think about why it was still nice.

***

Xander looked out the window, his iPod's headphones in his ears to block out whatever Dean was playing.  Which was kinda interesting.  Dean turned down the radio a few notches and Xander gave him an odd look.  "You can't hear yours."

"I can so," he shouted, showing how loud his was.

Dean took the iPod and the headphones, tossing them into the backseat.  "You need to learn to appreciate classic music, Xander."

"Giles tried that.  I still can't stand classical music."

"Not classical music, classic music.  Music that helped define a few generations."

Xander looked at him.  "I like it if I can sing along in my off-key way."

"Some of mine you can.  This you'll learn to enjoy more."

"I have comedy playing."  He reached back to shut it off.  "Want to play roadtrip games?" he asked after a few minutes.

"No.  Where are we headed?  Brief me."  Xander giggled.  "Not that way.  Mind out of the gutter, Harris."

"Fine, Winchester."

Dean smirked at him. "That's right, all Winchester all the time.  What're we looking for?"

"Something that's been digging up a cemetery and stealing bodies. They're saying it's a necrophile.  I'm thinking it's a carrion eater or like the guy who was building his resurrected brother the perfect wife and wanted Cordelia's head."

"You guys had someone pulling a Frankenstein?"

"Yeah."

"Eww."

"Very.  But he was good.  He rebuilt his brother when he died.  Still less creepy than the guy who had a thing against the formal dances so he was training a few hellhounds with _Carrie_ and a few other horror movies so they'd attack anyone in formal gear.  Nearly got the prom.  Buffy had to do a quick change back to semi fabulous for it."

Dean shook his head slowly.  "You guys were insane."

"Yeah.  Did you steal Giles' watchers' journal?  He called looking for it."

"No.  Dad might've.  If so he'll send copies.  Any ghosts?"

"One set of reliving poltergeists.  Buffy and Angel broke the cycle when they were made to repeat it.  They moved on."

Dean grinned.  "Usually we have to salt and burn someone's corpse or whatever they're hanging onto."

Xander shrugged. "They wanted a replay.  They'd done it a few times.  A young female teacher, her senior in high school lover.  She ended up trying to do the right thing and break it off.  He shot her then himself."  Dean shuddered.  "It's like some strange _Romeo and Juliette_ without the dresses and tights."

"I bet.  No others?"

"A few nightmare demons.  Hansel and Gretel's anti-witch demon."  Dean pulled over to stare at him.  "It showed up.  Got the people in town paranoid about witches after the demon manifested as two kids and they got supposedly killed.  Buffy's mom formed MOO to let the parents have a way to speak out about witches.  We nearly had a burning.  They tried to burn Buffy, Willow, and Amy Madison at the stake.  Amy turned herself into a rat and she's still a rat.  We got them free and the demon got killed.  It was the demon behind the Hansel and Gretel fairytale."

Dean gaped then shook his head.  "I knew most myths are based on some reality."

Xander grinned.  "Some more than most.  Willow's parents trashed her magic collection."

"Damn."  He shook his head.  "How did you deal with that?"

"I have no clue," Xander admitted.  "At the time, all of it was deal with it and relax until the next one.  We had to deal.  Who else would?"

"Good point I guess.  Is that why you took your roadtrip?"

"I had wanted to get out and see things before settling down in a crappy job," Xander admitted, shifting more to be facing him better.  "Then some unkind demon blew up my engine on the edge of Oxnard and I ended up working at a strip club called the Fabulous Ladies Nite Club.  That's where I met your dad.  He was being frustrated by a ghost so he came in for a beer or five.  We had a bucket special that night."

"I've done those and I remember seeing yours."  He smirked.  "I can't imagine Dad in a strip club."

"We talked at the bar.  At least until the vampire tried to eat one of the dancers.  Then I pulled out my crossobw and got him.  Your dad was highly amused.  He saved me later on from a succuba that I couldn't get off me."

Dean grinned.  "Sounds more like him.  The club any good?"

"Hell no.  It was so scummy.  The owner didn't care if the vamps ate the girls.  He tried to blackmail me onto the stage for a third time.  He encouraged a few girls who were making poor tips to give more than blows in the back.  We were the slime at the bottom of the strip club circuit.  Our girls were the scar team."

Dean shuddered.  "I've been in a few of those."  He grinned.  "Did you have fun on the pole?"

"Nope.  My lack of dancing skills showed up spectacularly that night.  I didn't get a single tip until I got down to my speedo.  Then women tried to grope.  I ended up with literal bruises on my balls from them and the boss told me to quit whining.  Suggested I could leave faster if I went to give blows too.  I walked out my last night because he was trying to blackmail me and did two demon porn tapes.  Girl on me, nothing else.  That got me enough money to afford a clunker so I could get home."

Dean shook his head.  "That's not something I want to try."

"You can dance.  He told me to focus on the people waving the most money instead of the whole room when I tried to freeze up.  Then he pushed me onto the stage."

"I still don't want to have to go there."

"Not even for an undercover?" Xander teased.

"No, not even for that.  Did you?"

"Swim team.  Speedo.  Buffy and Cordelia both gaped in awe."

Dean snickered.  "Girls can do that if they don't know more than one of them."

"Willow did too."  He let out a sigh.  "Did I go wrong?"

Dean popped him one on the arm.  "No.  That's her wrongness, not yours, Xander."

Xander nodded. "If you say so."  He relaxed again.  "Now what, captain?  Warp speed again?"

"No Star Trek jokes.  I'm so much better than them."

Xander smirked.  "I don't know.  Riker got all the bitches."

"Yeah and he was a bit sleazy too.  I'm not."  He smirked back.  "Any favorite carrion eater?"

"I want to look at the graves before I decide if a human dug it or not."  That got a nod and Dean got them back onto the road.  They headed off.  "Hey, Dean, if I'm feeling creeped out by this stuff and so are you, what're we doing about it?"

"We take it as it comes, Xander.  I don't do chick conversations."

"Sorry, I was raised by Willow.  There's some dress movies I can quote."

"We're fixing that.   Soon."  He gave him a dark look.  "Before you warp me."

"I'm betting warp speed sex is fun," Xander teased.

Dean pinched him on the thigh, getting a yelp.  "Bad joke.  What did my shirt say?"

"I honk for hookers.  I'm a natural brunette, wanna check.  I like them tough, tie me up and lick me, I sing the Star Spangled Banner."  Dean cackled at that one.  "Think we can get Dad to wear it?"

"Oooh, if we do, I'm so programming in the message.  It'll take me a while to get it perfect but we'll need the time to plan anyway."

Xander smirked at him.  "The best pranks always take plans.  The last prank I pulled with Jesse nearly closed down the Sunnydale library.  The librarian was mean so we pranked her a lot.  The last one we used fishing string to make some cookies Willow made for us move.  Fish cookies.  She was phobic of goldfish.  So we had wiggling goldfish cookies.  She shrieked and had a panic attack and nearly set the library on fire trying to kill them."  Dean cackled at that.  "Jesse confessed to his mother later that night so we got yelled at but she got fired and the next one tried to beat us to death with a rod so we broke it on her one day and she had to leave too.  Reminded me of the one teacher in book five of Harry Potter."

Dean snickered.  "I got the audio tape during one healing layover at a motel.  We've met more than one like her and Fudge.  It seems to be epidemic in some towns."

"They want the power so they find a place to get it," Xander agreed.

"What did your dad do?"

"Plant worker.  Mom stayed at home with her check for being a drunk."

"If we had found you earlier, we would've taken you with us."

"I know.  If John knew what I was going back to he wouldn't have let me.  We talked the few times he came in."  He looked at the town they were passing through.  "Wonder if this one's evil too?"

"Most small towns are at least slightly pretty.  Yours was like a man-eating plant.  It has pretty flowers to draw prey in.  Most towns stay pretty so people keep living there and pay property taxes."

"Different sort of feeding," Xander decided.  He shifted and leaned back.  "Wake me if I yelp."

"I will.  Your snoring won't cover up the music."

"I snore?"

"Dude, you snore louder than some lawnmowers."  Xander chuckled but closed his eyes and went to sleep against the window a few minutes later.  Dean grinned and turned up the music to cover the snoring.  Xander wouldn't care.  Much.

***

Dean paced back and forth, making Xander watch him.  "That was dug by a human.  A few weren't."

"A few the cops got down into and messed around so we can't find tool marks," Xander corrected.  He pulled Dean down beside him.  "They're too neatly dug.  They dug beside the coffin.  There's no way an animal dug that far and didn't leave debris."  Dean nodded, getting that.  "Not saying that an animal wasn't the one who got the present."  He and Dean shared a look.  "Hellhounds are the top of my list but it could be a human keeping one."

Dean nodded, thinking about that.  "How would you know?"

"Ask the butcher who buys the most meat?"

Dean shook his head.  "Not unless they want to brag about a recent sale and how good it was.  Stake out?"

Xander looked at him.  "There's a bookshop across the street.  We can hang out there for a few days probably but it'll start to look odd."

Dean stared at him for a minute.  "You're writing down about your great roadtrip, Xander."  Xander stared back, looking unamused.  "You are."

Xander shook his head.  "I suck at it and if someone asks mine's going to look like a kid wrote it."

"That's what polish is for and a good reason to look at books on writing."

"Can't you?  I'll walk around while you do the book thing?  I hate books."

"Fine, I'll write it up, you go look around like you're a tourist."

"I am a tourist," he said dryly, giving him a smartass look.  "Never been here before."

"Which is why so many things still want you," Dean shot back with an evil smirk.

"Keep it up, buy your own dinner and I'll have to call Anya for some fun."

"Do that and I'm making you sleep outside."

"Is the car that comfy?"

"Not in the car.  Outside in the park," Dean said firmly.  "No demons in the car."

"Yes, Dean," he sighed, slumping some.  Dean gave him a shoulder nudge.  "What if it's hellhounds?  She wouldn't let us get near them."

"Shoot them with silver then cut off their heads and burn them."

"Oh."  He nodded. "And if it's a human?"

"Handle whatever they're doing then hand them to the cops."

Xander nodded.  "Okay, I can do those."  He looked outside, frowning at the people he could see staring at the motel.  He got up to look better, then casually walked out, getting into the trunk to get into his second bag.  He shut the trunk, finding an officer next to him.  "Problems, Officer?  I noticed a lot of people doing the buddy system around the motel."

"We don't usually get strangers here."

"We're passing through.  Sightseeing as we go.  Roadtrip to relieve stress sort of thing.  My friends are cranky bitches and Dean helped me get away from them."

"I see.  Why were you at the cemetery?"

"I have a hobby of looking at really old monuments.  My uncle carves headstones and I used to watch him when I was younger.  So I go to see the really old ones and see if they're that different and how they held up.  Did you know some used to be made of wood instead of stone?"

"I hadn't.  We don't have any that old."

"I saw a few from the Civil War era," he said, grinning a bit more brightly.  "Local heros or just sons that were in the wrong place?"

"No clue," he admitted.  "The second is usually true, even for heros."

"It can be, yeah."  He turned to lean against the trunk, smiling at the people staring at him.  "Hi, I'm Xander.  We're on a stress breaking road trip while Dean works on a novel about it."  They moved off.  He looked at the officer.  "I saw something in the paper about the cemetery.  Did we get near the investigation?  We didn't mean to."

"No.  You passed by a few."  He stared at him.  "Where are you from, Xander?"

"Sunnydale.  It's a few hours outside LA."  The officer looked alarmed so he grinned, holding out a hand.  "Xander Harris, formerly the slayer's white knight."  The cop groaned.  "I'm still on a road trip.  Want me to check into it?"

"No.  We're pretty sure we know who it is."

"Zombies, Frankenstein stuff, or carrion eaters?" Dean asked as he joined them.

"Zombies.  He's trying really hard but not having much luck.  We can't prove it enough to get a warrant to arrest him."

Xander smirked.  "I've met a few."  The cop shuddered.  "Want someone to tape the cemetery?"

"We don't have the funds for that."  Xander held up his video camera.  "You're really road tripping?"

"Yup.  Dean and his dad saved me from a witch that was driving me insane so I'm on a vacation."

"Interesting."  He looked at the camera then at him.  "We expect him nearer to the east end of the cemetery tonight."  They both nodded.  "If you catch him, you film him and call us so we can catch him in the act."

"Sure."  Dean grinned.  "Any other problems he can handle for you?"

"Nah.  Though, he might wanna say he's from somewhere different.  His town's got rumors spread about it."

"All part of the job," Xander said dryly.  "The military decided to leave when they heard and showed up too."  He walked off shuddering.  Xander handed Dean the camera.  "We need a new tape so we can hand it over if necessary."

"I'll hit the Wal-mart we passed a few miles back to get one.  Get me a burger and fries?  With onions."

"Yes, Dean."  He walked off to do that while Dean drove off to get the tape.  Xander took the food to the cemetery, eating his on the way there.  There was a nice fountain/pond area that had some cover and was in the east side of the cemetery.  Good enough coverage and easy views of everywhere but the small hill behind him.  He looked at the pond.  "Here, pond monster," he called quietly.  No answer so he settled into his chosen spot.  He checked the pond again, no pond monster yet.  So he was happy.  He turned and found a demon dog sniffing the bag.  Not a hellhound, they were smarter.  This one was like you saw on _Ghostbusters 1_.   He held out a fry, letting it sniff then scarf it.  "Are you the gatekeeper?" he asked it.  It sniffed him then let out a happy sounding growl.  Xander handed him another fry.  The dog settled in front of him, scarfing whatever Xander let him have.  He whistled when he spotted Dean sneaking his way.  The waving burger got his attention.  Got the attention of the dog too.  It tried to jump to get it with a yip of pleasure.

Dean rushed over and found the dog eating his dinner.  "What is that?"

"Hungry.  It came to eat our dinner for us."  Dean groaned, sitting down to look at the dog.  "Doesn't it look like the one from _Ghostbusters_?"

"Yeah.  A bit too much.   Think it's a changed human?"

"I don't know but if Gozer starts to come up out of the pond, I'm running."

"You and me both."

"Though, thinking about it, Jonathan might be able to build a proton pack."

"Heavy, expensive, single use toys, Xander.  No."

"Fine."  He gave the dog one last fry then ate the last one.  "All gone."  It growled.  Xander's eyes narrowed as he growled back.  "My pack."  The dog whined and moved closer, sniffing at Dean.  Dean patted it on the head.  The dog rolled onto his back to get belly scratches.  "He's a happy puppy," Xander decided, helping pet him.  "People."

Dean set up the camera to make sure it was taping and checked it since it wasn't the ones they wanted.  "No picture?"

Xander looked then took off the lens cap.  "Sorry."

"Not an issue."  He let Xander set it up, taped the dog for a second before checking it.  This time it had a picture and sound.  He erased that section and went back to the beginning of the tape.  He checked their position.  "The area behind us?"

"Older from the view earlier.  The only fresh graves I saw were to the right by the maple tree."  Dean looked then nodded.  The puppy barked so they petted it some more.

"Go home," Dean ordered.  It growled.  He snarled.  It yelped and backed up, shrinking down onto its belly to give him a pitiful look.  He sighed.  "You give me that look now and then."

"I learned it to counter Willow's resolve face," Xander joked, petting it.  "There's no more food, puppy.  Your master should have some."  It whined pathetically.

"We are not keeping the dog.  I will tell Dad on you."

Xander looked at him.  Then at the puppy.  "I know someone who would make you so many burgers you'd burst."  The puppy gave him an interested look so he pulled out something he had kept in his wallet for a while.  "Sniff this, find her.  She'll feed you burgers and pet you like the puppy you are.  She'll love you and you can even help her hunt bad things."  It sniffed then disappeared.

"Who did you send it to?"

"Buffy.  She could use a pet.  Joyce won't mind."

Dean gave him an odd look then shook his head.  "Anything left in the bag?"

"Nope.  He scarfed the rest of mine and yours.  Didn't like the onions, kept rubbing his nose on the ground."

"I'll have to remember that."  Xander's phone buzzed.  The vibrate function made a bit of noise.  "Buffy?"

"Giles."  He opened it.  "Yelp at me."  He listened to the complaints. "He's a happy puppy, Giles.  He wanted our dinner and belly scratches.  He's a good puppy.  Well, pinning Spike shows that it can hunt and Buffy could use a pet.  Joyce would love to feed it.  No, it let us scratch its belly and everything.  It's a good dog."

"Not my doing," Dean said next to the phone.  "Sorry."

"It ate Dean's dinner and the rest of mine for me.  Liked burgers but hated raw onions."  He smiled and hung up on the new complaint about what they had fed a demon dog.  "It pinned Spike and Buffy was worried but the dog just lapped her and sat there giving her the play fetch with me look.  So she's keeping it."

Dean shook his head quickly, texting the problem to his father.  Who set back a laugh.  He heard another person and looked up, watching him look around. Dean started to tape him while Xander waited to call the local cops.  The guy knelt at a grave and said something then pulled out a small shovel.  They waited until he had actually started to dig then Xander called and Dean kept taping.  He got a good bit of film of the officer pouncing him into the grave.  They got up and headed over, Dean handing over the tape once the guy was in cuffs.  "Who had the demon dog?"

"The minister.  It likes him."

"It liked our dinner better.  Xander sent it to a friend to play with her."  They walked off together.  That had been an easy first job.  They'd get Xander used to their sort of hunting instead of patrol with a bit of coaching but he'd be fine.

Though Dean did take some of the Vegas money to the burger place to get himself something to eat.  He was even nice enough to get Xander some fries.

***

Six months later things were going along well.  Dean and Xander had a comfortable working relationship.  The rest of the world wasn't helping any by layering on multiple stresses at once.  Which was why Dean was pacing back and forth in their motel room.  "His phone was canceled," he told Xander.  "That's not like Dad."

Xander pulled Dean closer to look at him.  They had gotten to the cuddling and groping stage but no further because they were usually tired when they fell into bed together.  "Dad's fine, Dean.  He's been fine.  There's got to be a good reason."

Dean sighed but nodded, settling onto the bed.  "Why have his phone turned off?"

"Maybe he didn't find a place to pay the bill."

"Online, any library and he could do that."

Xander stroked his back.  "He's fine, Dean.  I'm sure he's fine."

Dean looked at him.  "You're uneasy.  Why?"

"I got a call from Giles.  One of the geeks shot Tara."  Dean slumped.  "I need to go back for the funeral."

Dean nodded.  "Go.  I'll handle it."

Xander stared at him.  "You could come with me.  Not like we've got a job to rush off and do.  No one to rush off and save."

Dean shook his head.  "I can't stand going to funerals."

Xander nodded.  "Okay."  He stood up.  "Then I'll head there tonight.  You sure you'll be fine?"

"I'll be fine.  If I have to, I'll call or see what's going on."

Xander nodded.  "Okay.  Remember, cellphones don't always work in Sunnydale and things have been going wrong recently."

"I heard.  Be safer than usual?" he asked dryly.  Xander had this bad habit of getting into strange sorts of trouble that no one else seemed to be able to find.  Like geeky burger boys taking him hostage because he didn't like onions but talking himself out with geek fandom stuff and confusing the cops so much they thought it was his fault and tried to arrest him.

"I'll try.  Willow's got to be destroyed right now."

Dean nodded.  "We'll see what we can do."  He gave him a kiss, hard and fast, then let him go.  "Happy renting a car."

"Oooh, yay me," Xander said dryly.  He walked out, heading to grab the money bag to get a good bit out.  He walked back into the room to grab his other bags, looking at Dean.  "I'm leaving the cash.  I'm only taking a few bundles."  That got a nod.  "Don't spend it all on beer and strippers."

Dean smirked.  "Only the pretty ones."

"As long as you win most of it back then."  He headed out, going to the local rental company to get a car.  That took a few minutes and he was off.  Thankfully he had that prepaid Mastercard so that had worked for the rental company.

Dean flopped backward onto his bed, covering his face.  "I hate hunting alone."  He tried his father's phone again.  Still an out of service message.  That was not a good sign.  He called the others he knew.  "Bobby, Dean.  Dad's phone is off?"  He listened to him try to keep him calm.  Bobby would help him look.  "Thanks.  No, he's off to see Willow since her girlfriend was just killed.  Shot her.  He went to see if they needed help and attend the funeral.  I'm in Iowa.  I don't know.  He was headed for California the last I knew.  No, out of service message.  Thanks, Bobby."  He hung up and packed up, heading to turn in the keys.  He could start heading that same way.  His father could be in trouble and it'd be closer to where Xander was going just in case he needed help.

***

Xander walked into the Magic Box, seeing the mess.  "Aw, shit," he muttered.  Giles moaned at him, letting him find him so he could help him to his feet.  "You okay?"

"No."  He put his hands on Xander's head, passing the positive energy he had been loaded up on by the witches in Devon.  "You must stop her, Xander.  She sucked dark magic from the books."  He stared into his eyes.  "She's in pain.  Tara was her soulmate.  She killed Warren, flayed the skin from his body while alive."  He swallowed.  "She hurt Buffy and Dawn."

Xander nodded.  "Where is she heading?"

"The cliffs.  There's an old temple.  If she pulls it up, it can destroy everyone."

Xander nodded.  "Got it.  Rest."  He headed out, stopping to get the car.  He thought on the way out, steeling himself for this one.  He didn't want to have to hunt Willow.  He really didn't.  He parked as close as he could get and got out, getting into the gear bag for a few knives and a gun.  Just in case.  Plus things to bless her if something did happen.  He locked the car and hiked off where he could feel the bad magic starting.  He felt the earth shift and groaned, speeding up to a jog.   He found her and stared at her back.  "Hey, green-eyed girl."  She spun to look at him.  "What are we doing?"

"Making them feel like I do!" she shrieked, throwing a spell at him.

He groaned and nearly doubled over from the pain but made himself straighten up after a few seconds.  He moved closer.  "No, Willow.  I can't let you do this."

"You don't know what it's like!" she shouted.

He looked at her.  "Yes I do.  I lost you when you went evil."  She lunged at him, throwing more spells.  They hurt like hell.  He was in a lot of pain but he still grabbed her when she got close enough and held her still.  She screamed and ranted, but oh well.  He pinned her better and pulled out the blessing materials, starting on one to help her.  She was still crying and screaming but it was necessary.  He looked over as Ethan appeared.  "Get the Devon witches.  They were helping Giles."

"We need to put that back," he said, pointing at the spire that had pierced the ground.

"I'll sit watch until we can.  Get her some help, Ethan.  Grief drove her to suck black magic."

"I felt."  He came over to finish knocking her out, helping the boy tie her up with plastic cuffs.  "Ripper is on his way."

"Can you send it back down?"

"Only black magic can."

Xander stood up with a wince and a hiss.  "She hit me with plenty.  How do I do it?"

Ethan pulled him closer to look at him.  "It could kill you."

"So will the spells if I don't dump the energy she sent at me.  How?"  He put him into the proper spot and handed him the right incantation.  He had the book in his pocket in case he had to do it himself.  Xander read it, concentrating on dumping the magic she had hit him with back into the temple.  It sank with a shudder that he felt in his soul.  He fell to his knees panting, holding his stomach.  "Ethan, worse problems," he moaned.

"Did you get a flash?"  Xander nodded.  "Ripper is a mile out."  He checked Willow then him.  "You'll survive."

Xander looked at him.  "Put me in LA, not Sunnydale's hospital if I need it."  Ethan nodded, letting him pass out.

Giles ran up to them.  "He did it?"

"He sent the temple back down with the energy she hit him with.  He said to send him to LA and he had a flash while he did it."

"Dear Lord," Giles muttered.

"Below," Ethan agreed.  "He knocked her out and was doing a blessing when I appeared."  A few more witches appeared.  "He helped her."

One looked at him then at Ethan.  "He's blood soaked."

Giles looked at her. "That's Xander.  He stopped her when she knocked me out."

"He needs to be drained then."

"She's done it to him before," Ethan pointed out.  He checked on the boy.  "Ripper, I believe he's bleeding."

"Take him to Cordelia in LA for me please?"  Ethan nodded, taking him with him.  He looked at the witches.  "They've had to do this before thanks to her."

"We heard.  He needed to be drained and healed.  We'll let you check on him later, Rupert.  Let us have her."

"You'll help her?  It was grief.  She was doing so much better."  They nodded and took Willow with them.  He headed back to get Xander's rental car to his place then called LA.  "Cordelia?  Oh, Wesley.  How is Xander?"  He listened to his report and that they were heading to the ER with him.  "Thank you.  Should I call Dean?  Let me know.  I'll head down tonight after I clean up a few messes.  She sucked black magic, Wesley.  The Devon Coven said he needed to be drained again.  Ethan said she threw multiple spells at him.  I'll come do that tonight.  Let me set some guards on the store."  He hung up and called Buffy and her dog.  They and Spike came to help him.  "She's in England with the coven," he told Buffy.  "Xander stopped her."

"Did he ride off again?" Spike sneered.

"She injured him too," Buffy said.  Giles nodded. "Badly?"

"Ethan took him to LA for me.  He's in the emergency room.  She sent a good portion of the magic at him."  They both groaned.  "Watch the shop.  Call Dean."  He headed off.  Thankfully his car was a nicer one than his old Citreon.

***

Dean answered his phone.  "Yeah?"  He listened.  "He going to be okay?  Need me to bring up the paperwork we have?"  He listened then nodded.  "When he's out, send him to Bobby.  He can wear the bad magic out again," he told him.  He listened to the whole story, wincing.  Black magic tainting Xander was not a good thing after the last time.  "How long?"  He nodded.  Intestinal bruising and bleeding was not a quickly healed thing.  "Okay, I'm in the same state.  He's where?"  He wrote down the name, number, and room number of the hospital.  "Did you tell them I'd be calling?  Do they need my paperwork?"  He nodded, making a note of that.  "I'll find a public fax and send it, Giles.  Watch my boy for me or have someone sit guard on him.  Things are still drawn to him.  Does he want me there?  He nearly shot me when he had a cold the last time."  He smiled.

"Of course.  No, trying to find out where my father disappeared to.  His phone's been disconnected and we have no idea where he is.  I haven't heard from him in nearly a month."  He nodded.  "I'll visit and let him tell me off and tell me to go away then.  Sure, probably tomorrow night.  Thanks.  Is she going to be okay?"  He sighed in relief.  "Thanks, Giles."  He repacked and headed for the car, stopping at the local library to fax that information to the hospital.  Then he drove off like someone was chasing him.  As he drove he called Bobby.  "It's Dean.  No, further issues.  Xander went to stop Willow.  Whatever that was, was her in her grief.  Her girlfriend died, Bobby.  She cleaned up for her.  Giles said she sucked black magic, flayed the guy who killed her while he was alive, then went to pull up some ancient temple on the cliffs outside town.  Xander stopped her so she threw a lot of dark magic at him.  In the hospital.  The stuff she threw bruised and hurt his intestines and lungs.  Giles had him sent to LA.  I'm heading.  Can I send him to you again once he's out?"  He smiled. "Thanks, Bobby.  No, still no word.  I'll let you know when I find out more.  Thank you."  He hung up and sped up as he pulled onto the interstate.  He didn't really care for speeding tickets but no one was stopping him this time.

***

Dean looked at Xander, smiling a bit.  "Good painkillers?"

"Yeah," he croaked.  "I feel like shit and I had a vision."

Dean leaned down.  "Does Giles know?"

"Yeah.  He's looking at why something beneath us was devouring us."  He blinked heavily then yawned.  "Find Dad?"

"Not yet."

Xander pulled him down to kiss.  "Don't hunt alone.  You'll end up in here too.  Or worse.  They'll make you eat jell-o."

Dean smiled.  "I won't.  I don't know where to go.  I left an email for him but I haven't heard back from that yet."  He patted him on the cheek.  "Need anything?"

Xander shook his head.  "If something comes up, go find Sammy?  It'll be weeks before I'm out of here."

"I can do that. After here, you go see Bobby.  I left you a greyhound ticket with the nurses to put into your stuff since you were traveling when you got attacked."  Xander nodded. "Giles has your bags in his closet."  He stroked his head again.  "Bobby said he'll be waiting to help you drain it again."

"Sure.  He was nice and he cooked pretty good."  He yawned again, squeezing Dean's hand when he tried to move.  "Willow?"

"In Devon, Xander.  Giles said they made her drain it off back into the books."  Xander nodded, falling asleep holding his hand.  The nurse coming in gave him an odd look.  "He's my partner."

"I don't care," she said.  "This isn't a religious hospital, sir."  She checked him over.  "He'll be out for a few hours if you wanted to do something and come back."

He looked at her.  "Xander has some very graphic, violent nightmares.  Sedation doesn't matter and they'll come.  He'll fight, kick, and bite."

She nodded, making a note on the chart.  "We didn't find any usual drugs in his system."

"Doesn't work for him.  Why bother."  That got another nod.  "Advil.  Lots and lots of it for his back since he threw it out last month."

"I'll let them know that.  He should be out in a few weeks.  Are you staying local?"

"We're this way because my father's missing.  I left a ticket with the desk nurse to put into his stuff so he could get to a friend's house for recuperation if I wasn't here."

"Okay."  She made a note of that.  "I'm assuming you're going to be calling?"

"Every day at the very least."

"Call after five.  His doctor does rounds at four, before his golf game."

"I can do that."  He wrote down his number on the chart.  "That's my cellphone.  It'll reach me nearly anywhere."

She nodded.  "If there's a drastic change we'll let you know."

"Any change.  Or if you need help with the nightmares."  She nodded, leaving them alone.

"Mushy," Xander accused, eyes squinted open.  "You're going chick like and you said that's my job."

Dean leaned down to kiss him.  "Shut up, Xander.  Dad said you're my wife.  I'm allowed to worry about your stupid ass."

"Had to be done.  She got Giles even though he was hyped by the Devon people to get her calmed down."

"You didn't have to lower the temple."

Xander yawned.  "I did.  Wouldn't go back down without it.  Someone else could've used it."  He puckered his lips, getting another kiss.  "When I get out of here, we're having a night in a bubble bath and then you're making me scream."

"Sure.  After Bobby's done with you."  Xander nodded.  "Any other commands?" he asked dryly.

"Go find Sammy.  Have him help you find Dad."

"If I can't find him in a few weeks I will."  Xander nodded, letting Dean pet him back to sleep.  He had found out a while back that Xander slept better if he was being touched.  A male came in.  "He's trying to sleep."

"I'm going to be doing his physical therapy."  He looked at him.  "He's in good shape."

"My dad's a Marine.  We work with him."

"I can see that.  Anything other than his back?"

"He twisted wrong last month.  Should be fine.  He isn't taking advil anymore.  He does have a high pain tolerance.  He won't complain more than an ow and then he'll beat you if you nag or offer help."

The PT nodded.  "I've seen others."  He checked his limbs.  "He should be fine."

"Thank you."  He looked at Xander again.  "Let me go eat, Xander.  I'll be back tonight." Xander blew a kiss and tried to curl up on his side.  "He likes to sleep curled up."

"It's a protective position."  He helped him then they walked out together.  "We have your number?  The nurse said you're looking for your father."  Dean nodded.  "If I need to know anything I'll call."  He shook his hand and watched Dean head out for lunch and to talk to the local contacts.  He looked at the nurses.  "It's so cute when tough guys worry."

She nodded. "Very.  I'm told he has violent nightmares."

"I'll keep that in mind if I have to wake him up.  Any idea why?"

"No.  He didn't tell me a cause.  We'll probably find out."  She finished making notes and let him make his own before he left.

***

Xander slowly got out of the cab holding his stomach, dragging his bags out of the trunk.  Bobby clearly wasn't here.  He paid the driver and watched him leave.  Xander hiked his things up to the porch and sat down on the lounger out there.  He fell asleep on it.  Bobby would wake him up eventually.

When Bobby got back a few hours later, he smirked and poked the boy with his foot to make him wake up with a gasp.  "Sauna, Xander.  Same as last time."

"Not allowed to get the stitches wet for another two days.  Not fully dissolved yet," he said tiredly, yawning some.  "Any word on Dad?"

"No.  Not yet.  Dean and Sammy hooked up for this weekend."  That got a nod.  "How bad?"

"I have no idea what she did but seven spells later and my insides are bruised.  My intestines had a few places that had minor bleeding from the bruises.  My lung too.  They said it looked like a wrecking ball going full force hit me in the stomach without anything between us.  It hurt like hell, Bobby."

"Been there," he admitted.  He patted him on the head.  "Let me set up a containment area for you."

Xander pulled up his necklace to show him.  "A witch Angel works with gave it to me.  It'll hold in any taint for another six days she thinks."

"More than enough time.  Let's get you to bed.  I'll let Dean know you made it."  Xander grinned and let himself be helped to the nice, soft, normal smelling bed.  The other bags got dropped in there.  Then Bobby finished bringing in the groceries.  The poor guy looked like hell warmed up.  He went to check on him then called Dean.  "It's me.  Your boy's here.  Looks like a corpse that's up and walking around.  Still tired.  Stitches will be gone in a few days so we can get to work then.  No, it'll be a good few days with the taint on him, Dean.  Nearly as bad as last time.  Where's the witch?" He nodded at that information.  "Thanks.  Sure, he's napping.  Collapsed on the porch since I wasn't here.  Groceries."  Dean laughed at that.  "Heard anything?"  Dean told him what they had found out so far.  "Interesting."  He nodded at the words.  "You'll find him when he wants you to.  He probably thought it'd be too dangerous, Dean.  You know how your father thinks."  He smiled and nodded, hanging up.  They'd be fine.  Sammy could do the work until Xander got back.

***

Xander found where Dean and Sam were staying when Bobby finally let him leave, smiling at the car.  "Hey, baby," he said, patting the trunk.  "Your master inside?"  He walked up the stairs to the motel room, knocking until it was answered.  "Someone told me your brother's taking my napping spot."

"I'd never fuck my brother, Xander."  He pulled him in, kissing him.  "No car?"

"Greyhound.  Stuff's in a locker."

"Let's get it then we'll come back and do this.  Bubble bath?"

"I deserve it after having my first vision."  They headed to get his stuff, letting Xander tuck them into their usual places, including moving one of Sam's bags.  "Cash?"

"Under the back seat.  Stuck.  Sammy did something."  Xander groaned.  "We'll fix it later, when we've got a few."  Xander crawled in there, coming out with a bundle.  "That'll work.  Dinner?"

"Please feed me.  I had chips on the bus from South Dakota.  By the way, Bobby said he loves you for sending me.  I had to get an IRS agent who was snooping around."

"Possessed?"

"Minion.  Trying to take down the hunters."  He smirked.  "Fixed however."  They went to order dinner then headed up to reconnect.  Dean pulled Xander down with him onto his bed, kissing and nibbling on him to make sure he was all right.  "Dean, please?"

"If you want."  He kept nibbling, making it good for Xander.  It was their first time and Xander was more girl like than Sammy sometimes.  He'd get mushy about it.  He noticed how tight he was and looked up at him.  "Didn't we get that fixed?"

"The hermie demon said that blowing me would be enough since I got off."  He smirked.  "Surprise?"

"Not really.  Not with the way you draw demons."  He slowed down his preparation but he still sank into Xander as soon as he could.  He was sweating, thrusting, and making Xander babble at him when Sammy walked in.  "Out!" he snarled.

Sam stared at the two on the bed then closed the door, going to sit in the car for a while.  That was not what he expected.  That hadn't been a flat chested girl, which Dean usually ignored.  That was a guy Dean had been buried in.  That wasn't something he was used to Dean doing.  Maybe Dean had changed a lot.  He looked in the glove compartment, finding maps, the spare gun for safety reasons, a knife he didn't know, and an iPod.  He looked at it.  "Nice selection," he said, paging through the stored music.  "Wonder if it's his."  He looked up when the delivery driver went to knock.  He got answered so Sam went up there, holding up the iPod.  "I didn't see this before.  It's newer technology than you usually like, Dean."

"That's because it's mine," a sleepy male voice said, holding up a hand.  Sam handed it over.  "Thanks, Sammy."

"Sam."  He looked at him.  "Who're you?"

"Xander," Dean said, handing Xander a box of food.  "Sit up.  I'm not sleeping on sauce spots tonight."

"Sure."  He moaned but did sit up.  "You'd think you'd be more gentle and let me cuddle."

"Not my fault the delivery guys are efficient."  He sat beside Xander on his bed, looking at his brother.  "Yes, we're together.  Xander's my usual hunting partner.  He used to hunt in Sunnydale until a witch started to hurt him.  Then he called Dad.  We trained him and we've been hunting together for a little over a year."

"Then where was he for the last two months?"

"Hospital and then Bobby's," Xander said before eating a bite of dinner.  He waved his fork.  "Sit, I'm sure there's extra, Sammy."  Sam huffed.  He looked at him.  "I worked with a slayer.  She does that better."  Sam glared.  He grinned.  "Sit and eat. We'll talk after we're all fed."  Sam sat down, putting his feet up on his bed while he ate his dinner.  He looked at Dean.  "Two cars?"

"We'll figure it out," he decided.  He ate another bite.  "You freaked?"

"Kinda."  Sam looked at him then at Xander. "No offense but Dean usually goes for leggy, hot, and buxom."

Xander frowned.  "That's huge breasts, right?" he asked Dean, who nodded.  Xander looked at him.  "I had four years of experience before your dad took over my training."

"You needed it?"

"The slayer and her watcher didn't want to train him.  He trained himself," Dean said.  "We raised his skills, got him more used to guns than a stake, and then we started to work together."  He ate another bite and grabbed a soda to sip.  Xander took it to drink and handed it back.  "Mooch."

"I paid."

"Point."  He looked at his brother.  "He was in Sunnydale for a friend's funeral when a witch went psycho because her girlfriend had been shot.  He had to stop her.  She tried to stop him by liquefying his insides.  He had three weeks in the hospital then the rest of the time healing with Bobby while being drained of the bad magic."  Sam nodded at that.

"Giles said that vision I had was a bad thing.  They might need an all hands alert put out," Xander said quietly.  Dean looked at him.  "It leads back to an ancient prophecy about the Deeper Well and the demons in there.  It says that somehow we're at the first step to releasing the First Evil."

"How?" Dean demanded.

"I don't know.  We have no clue.  There's a few things we need to watch out for.  Giles isn't sure that her minions won't come after all hunters instead of just me.  I put him and Bobby on when he said that.  He's sending out an all points and Giles agreed to call him if we need reinforcements."

"You're going back?"

"If he needs me," Xander agreed.  Dean sighed but nodded.  "Buffy's slayer dreams have shown them going after the pre-slayers. Not her yet."

"Take out the backup then the main."

"Faith's in prison, Dean.  The line carries on at her death, not Buffy's."

"Shit," he muttered, eating another bite.  "So they'll try her later."  Xander nodded.  "Do you think he'll need you?"

"I don't know.  If they're coming after Buffy last they can fall back to Sunnydale."  That got a nod.  "Which is what I suggested.  Giles sent out a notice."  He turned on the news, letting him see the international news about the explosion.  "I saw this earlier when I was at the bus station and called.  "That's the Watcher's Council."  Dean shuddered.  "So Giles may need all of us on hand."

"If so, he'll call," Dean agreed.  "Mega witch?"

"She's back and sane.  Grieving but not that bad."

Dean stared at him. "Do you trust her?"

Xander leaned forward to kiss him.  "If I lost you like that, minutes after we got back together, I couldn't promise I wouldn't go there."

Dean nodded.  "Hopefully there won't be any more accidents."

"No.  No more.  They're watching her very closely because she's still grieving and she tried to end the world."

"That small earthquake a few months back?" Sam asked.

Xander looked at him and nodded.  "That was Willow trying to pull an ancient temple and shrine to a goddess in her grief to make everyone feel like she did.  Tara was her soulmate.  She had cleaned up a magic addiction for her.  They had broken up over Willow's magic addiction and they had just gotten back together minutes before she was shot.  Willow lost it and went dark magic sucking.  Got some out of books, attacked anyone trying to stop her.  Killed the magic dealer she had went to after draining him.  Then she went to pull up the temple."

Sam swallowed.  "I can't say as I'm not in that much pain."

Xander got up and gave him a hug then sat back down again.  "We'll help you too, Sam.  Just don't throw dark magic at me.  Bobby thinks I've had too much thrown at me for a while and it was harder to drain me this time from where she supercharged me."

Dean looked at him.  "Because it was the second time or because it was her?"

"Personally, her and injuries.  He said because it was her and the second time she had turned me into a battery.  But no hellmouth this time."

"Those are myths," Sam said.

"No, he grew up and learned to hunt on one," Dean told him.  "Sunnydale is the open hellmouth at the moment."

He looked at Xander's scars.  "I take it hunting was bad there?"

"We had nightly patrols most nights," Xander told him.  Sam shuddered.  "Exactly.  So when I ran into John at a strip club, we talked once he saw me get a vamp.  When things got too bad a year later, I walked away and John helped me get to Bobby so I could be drained of the bad energy.  Then we worked on my skills after I took a few days off to think about it."

"So you two are *together*?"

"For six months now," Dean agreed.  "Sammy ran my baby through the side of a house to get a Lady in White."  Xander gasped and glared at Sam.

Sam smirked.  "It got her dead.  Dean tried to shoot her."

"She's a spirit.  It was a chance that she'd dissipate."  He ran a hand up Dean's back, getting swatted for it.  "Was she pretty?"

Dean shrugged. "Not really.  Stress relief and she gave me good information."

Xander nodded.  "Better than I did then."

"You let him sleep around?" Sam asked.

"He's still mostly straight, Sam.  I'd rather he tell me that he's got that itch and let me approve of her than hear it from the waitress the next day.  I'm a realistic man."  He looked at Dean.  "No word on Dad still?"

"I have his journal.  He left the place he texted coordinates to in a hurry.  Left everything there.  I got it from the cops.  There's no telling what we're doing."

Xander gave him a gentle hug.  "He's tougher than we are together, Dean.  Dad's fine."  Dean nodded, finishing his dinner.  "Are we hunting here or laying over?"

"Bobby said you were healed and heading out so we stayed stationary," Dean said, giving him a look.

Xander gave him a smug look.  "Then I have one."  He got up and found his jeans, coming back to hand Dean the newspaper clipping.  Sam looked away so he looked at himself then at him.  "I grew up with girls, Sammy.  I dated a nympho former demon.  I don't care if you look when I'm naked as long as you don't try to grab."  He sat down again, getting back into his dinner. "That's roughly where we've heard rumors of that one."  He looked at Sam.  "I heard.  I'm sorry for your loss, Sam."  He nodded.  "Want Willow's number?  You two could help each other a lot."

"No, I'll be fine.  Thanks," he said quietly, stuffing his mouth.  Xander gave him another hug.  He looked at him.  "You really were raised by girls."

"Including the witch that got him with the bad magic," Dean agreed, rereading it.  "Doesn't sound like our sort of thing, Xander."  Xander pointed at a line.  "I saw that.  It looks like another easy possession."

Xander pointed at something.  "That's where your dad was heading after whatever pulled him out west.  He had a tip that the demon was going to be heading back that way in a year."

Dean looked at him.  "If you're right and Buffy needs us...."

"It'll be after the holidays.  It always is.  I'm going to do a weekly check-in and if I have to I can fly back."

Dean nodded.  "That's reasonable.  Sammy, did you find anything?  This one's nearer to Texas."

Sam shook his head.  "Not at the moment.  Do we think Dad headed that way?"

"Spike said he heard rumors of that demon heading toward Chicago but he's going slowly and weaving all over to torment and taunt hunters and others.  No standard path from what he's heard."

Dean nodded.  "Then us heading that way could mean crossing its path or running into another one it's gotten."  Sam nodded at that.  He looked at Xander.  "How did you get so smart?"

"Willow made me learn by not cheating for me very often like she did Buffy."

Dean smirked.  "She cheated for Buffy?"

"No time to do homework when you're on patrol half the night."

"Point."  He looked at the clipping.  "Anything else noted?"

"Not yet.  That's a few days old so we should probably check to see if it's still going on.  If not, I'd say we head back that way anyway.   If the demon's drawn to the family and you two are back together, it'll come for you.  Being so strong would be a tempting target."

Dean nodded. "Good point but it wouldn't happen around you."

Xander kissed him on the back of the head.  "The thing already likes me, Dean.  Spike heard it was checking up on me."  Dean and Sam both stared at him coolly.  "In the last month he's asked Wolfram and Hart and a few others about my rep.  No one knows if he was amused, happy, or pissed about me helping.  All we know is that it took him that long to note me, even though you and Dad were training me."

"Which is disturbing," Dean said.  "Earlier on and it'd be because he wasn't sure you'd be sticking with us."

"Could Jess have distracted him?" Sam asked quietly.

Xander looked at him.  "He has minions to watch, Sam.  Spike said someone up that way took out two that had been watching over you."  Sam groaned.  "So he had it planned, just not a date until it was the most theatric for you."  Sam nodded at that, still looking down.  "Hey.  It's not as bad as it could be.  He's not the First Evil.   He's not even Glory."

"He might be on the level of Glory.  We're not sure," Dean admitted.

Xander shook his head.  "No, Spike called him an Elder, not a god."  Sam stared at him.  "He said he's an elder spirit, he didn't say any particular race or anything but he said he wasn't as strong as the highest of them.  We can ask Anya," he pointed out to Dean.

Dean beamed.  "Think she'd know?"

"She was D'Hoffryn's and what I took from Spike made them sound about as powerful.  She should know about any rivals he had.  She's off working somewhere or else I'd have called.  Giles has it as a side research topic."

Dean gave him a sucking kiss, smiling at him.  "Thank you, Xander."

"Not a problem.  Can I have some more, sir?" he teased with a grin.  Dean kissed him again.

Sam moved the food and drinks, then walked out shaking his head.  Those two were too cute for him.  He wouldn't need chocolate for days with them being that sweet.  He heard a yelp.

"I told you I don't like spanking games, Dean."

Sam laughed, heading down to the car with the iPod he had gotten off the table.  He had his own headset so he didn't have to share ear wax with Xander.  He looked up as two demons appeared on the walkway, texting Dean as he got out with the gun in the glove box.  "Freeze," he ordered.  The demons broke in the door, ignoring him totally.  One came flying out a second later and Dean was handling the other one.

Xander came out onto the walkway, holding the demon partially over the railing.  "Who sent you?" he asked coldly.  "They're interrupting my nookie and I'm not pleased."  The demon stuttered something so he switched to a demon language to repeat it.  He wailed something and disappeared.  Xander looked at Dean.  "Wolfram and Hart consider me a threat?"

"You get in the way of prophecies," Dean pointed out.  "You said you warped a few of them back in Sunnydale."  Sam came jogging in.  "You good?"

"They didn't hear me, see me, or come near me.  Why?"

"Wolfram and Hart sent them after me," Xander said, staring at Dean, who shrugged.  "Let me call Angel."

"Can you put on pants?" Sam asked.  He was trying to be nice but Xander was creeping him out.

Xander looked at him. "You have one, it's the same as mine, Sam.  If you're that bi- curious, look away."   He found his cellphone and dialed from memory.  "Fred, why the hell are Wolfram and Hart sending hit demons after me?"  He listened to her babble.  "No, just now.  Two.  The farty sounding named ones.  Yeah, them."  He sat down to listen to her.  "Said Wolfram and Hart wanted me."  He nodded slowly.  "Uh-huh.  Any idea if this ties into the Elder demon that's been after Dean's family?"  He found some paper to make notes.  "Get that from Giles?"  He smiled.  "Tell Wes I said thanks.  Anything else we should know?"  He made another note.  "They drained it, Fred.  I know it'll taint me, dear.  I'm still wrong for their purposes.  Thanks."  He hung up and looked at Dean, holding up the notes with a sigh.

Dean snatched them to look at.  "Your handwriting sucks."

"Tough, suck on it, Dean."  He grabbed his clothes.  "Looks like I will have to fix your back seat problem sooner."

"No."  Dean looked at him.  "You're not leaving us.  It's safer with you here, Xander."

"They have an office up the road by two hours, Dean.  I can sneak up there, handle them as a message then be back before dawn.  Speaking of, she wanted a call."

"I'll call her later.  No.  Dad wouldn't like it, I don't like it.  You're not handling this on your own and you're not bait."

"If they get a good look at me they'll see I'm not fit for their needs.  Angel would fit better or Spike."

"Still not safe," Dean said.  He looked at Sam, handing him the information.  "Figure out what they're doing."  Sam nodded, pulling out his laptop to start researching.  He looked at Xander.  "No."  Xander scowled.  "No.  Wolfram and Hart are too big for just us.  Even us with Dad couldn't take them down, even if it was all three of us with Dad and your former team it's too big for us."

"Angel gets them all the time."

"He's a vampire and a Champion of the Powers," Dean reminded him patiently. "You're not.  You're one hunter and if you go, that'll pull me and Sammy."

"It could be about either demon," Sam pointed out.  He looked at Xander.  "Ours coming after you or the one there trying to get that team through you."

Xander sat down, looking at them.  "No, guys.  I'm sorry but they want me for this.  It's a sacrifice thanks to what Willow pushed into my body.  It'll open something bigger in LA probably."

"So?  Let Angel handle that.  We'll keep you safe and feed them any information we have," Dean said dryly.  "You're not going to handle this.  I refuse to let you and the answer is no.  Even if I do have to borrow handcuffs."  He looked at the officer he had spotted on the stairs.  "They wanted Xander because he has some money," he said.  "They were going to kidnap him for ransom."

The officer nodded. "Where did they go?"

"I pulled Xander off one he was questioning.  They disappeared into the night."

"Do we know why?"

Xander looked at him.  "A friend of mine is having problems with a law firm doing bad things in LA.  They're trying to undermine the city and things.  He's protecting the people they're going after because he's a PI."  He stood up.  "The one I questioned said that law firm's local branch sent them after me."

"Which law firm?" the second cop asked.

"Wolfram and Hart."

The second cop nodded.  "I've head they do strange things."

"They're trying to take over LA by undercutting the city's council and then take out the other power structures," Xander said.  "I'm a convenient target since I'm near an office."

"You going into hiding?" the first cop asked.

Xander picked up Dean's gun and waved it.  "No.  They come for me, I'll call.  I'm not the bitch they think I am, guys."  He gave them his most scary smile. "I'm experienced in gun smithing and hunting.  Have done it since I was sixteen.   I'll call for removal."

That got a nod. "You staying here long?" the first cop asked.

Xander shook his head. "We're moving on tomorrow probably."

"Good enough.  We'll keep an eye on the motel tonight, sir.  Make sure you don't hurt a maid with that?"

"I don't drink, Officer."

"Sure."  They made note and called it in then went back to the office since their boss said to not get involved.   They set an extra patrol around the hotel but that was fine since it appeared handled for now.

Xander looked at Dean.  "Still want me to stay?"

"It's safer."  He took his gun back and put it back into the holster.  Xander moved to fix the door, making him smile. "Construction worker," he taunted with a smirk.

Xander smirked back.  "It'll keep us from having to pay for it."

"Good point."   He looked at Sam.  "Anything?"

"Not yet.  I can't get into their system."

Xander took it to type in the IM box to someone he called up.  She sent back a growl so he told her what had happened.  He handed it back to Sam.  "Willow.  She hacks too."

Sam smiled.  "Thanks, Xander."  He chatted with her about what he had tried.  A few minutes later she answered and had the information for him.  He let them see it.  "She's good."

"Now," Dean said.  "She put a few lust charms on him to get him before because she doesn't like gay boys."  He read, nodding at that.  "You're right, Spike would be better, Xander."  He looked back and saw him gone.  "Idiot."

"Did he take the car?"

"No."  He typed that information to Willow and Xander appeared behind them on the bed, bouncing a bit.  "Out for a jog?"

"More moo shoo.  Thankfully I was walking."

Dean smirked. "I said no."

"I'm perfectly capable...."

Dean glared.  "No.  We're a team, Xander.  No."

"Fine."  He sulked a bit.  "Good?"

"Very.  Spike would fit better for both reasons they could want you."

Xander came over to look.  "They're screwed if they try."

Dean coughed.  "Remember last time?  The draining took off all the innocence clauses?" he said quietly.

"Bobby and I took on a few zombies and the maker before I left.  Blood, death, and hunting."

"Women?"

"Not yet.  I can call Anya."

Anya appeared, smiling at him.  "Problems with Dean, Xanny?"

"Xanny?" Dean snickered.

"Have to break the male/female innocence issue again," he said, grinning at her.  "Thought you might want a replay?"

She shrugged.  "Not at the moment.  It's a girl day."  He nodded at that.  "No problems?"

"One huge one," Sam said, holding up something.  "Xander said you might know this demon who just killed my girlfriend.  I was going to call and ask but since you came to see why he was baiting Dean to get more sex...."

"Ooooh.  Orgasms?"

"Delivery driver," Dean said grimly.

She cackled. "They can be a problem.  Maybe in two days?"

Dean looked at her.  "If we can hold off.  Wolfram and Hart just sent people after Xander to kidnap him so they could use him as a sacrifice."

She growled.  "Excuse me?" she demanded, pulling him up and holding him into the air.  "They did *what*?  I'm letting you borrow my Xander and you nearly get him kidnaped by the evil law firm?"

"Borrowing?" he snorted.  "I didn't see you checking on him while he was injured."

"I was in Russia!"

"I called," Dean said.

"Fine.  Whatever.  They did?"  Dean nodded, smirking at her.  "Why?"  Sam held up the laptop so she could read.  She growled. "I will be getting them back.  No one touches my Xanny bear!"  She stomped a foot and let Dean down.

"While you're here, can I ask you a question?" Sam asked politely.  She turned to glare at him.  "I was going to call later but since you're here I was going to see if you'd know someone who might have some information for me if you don't have it."

"Why?"

"Because this demon," he said, changing files, "killed my girlfriend.  He killed our mother."

"We'd like to repay that debt," Dean said.  "We were going to call later but since you're here and in an evil mood anyway."

She read then looked at Sam.  "He would get very upset with me."

"It was him, the First Evil, or the next apocalypse in LA that they want me for," Xander pointed out.  "I'll take out theirs, they can help with the First Evil."

"We, Xander," Dean said impatiently.

She giggled.  "He's like that.  You get used to it.  He even got out of bed instead of giving me orgasms a few times to go hunting vampires and go on patrol with Buffy.  Now I know why Cordelia used to pout."

"You'd rather they overran the town and everyone got eaten?"

"No," she admitted.  She looked at Sam.  "I only know a little bit but there's ones who know more.  Including his daughter Meg."  Sam beamed at her.  "She's not easy and if her father is looking for you she'll try for you."

"More than we had.  Any other sources we can check?" Dean asked.  "I'll make Xander squeal in pleasure later in payment."

She pouted. "I should be but girl times are disgusting.  I can't have oral sex while I'm having girl problems and it's not worth it to only get the one orgasm that I'd get from regular sex."

Xander walked over to her, leaning down next to her ear.  "Remember when Willow got spanked?" She laughed but nodded. "She lust spelled us.  Everyone thought we were rent boys.  I sent two women to the hospital after sex, Anya."

"Sore?"

"One had a heart attack.  One threw her back.  I had to see paramedics."

She sulked. "That's too powerful for me. Did they get oral sex?"

"Only for a few minutes.  They wanted to climb on top."

"They were on top and did that?" she whined.  He nodded.  "Well....."

"I'll save it for you," he teased with a grin.  "Then you can go tell Giles about how good it was.  Or call from the ER."

She pouted but nodded.  "I'll find out what I can, guys.  You promise, Xander?"  He nodded.  "Good.  Will you be here?"  He shook his head.  "Then I'll find you."  She looked at Sam.  "I'll ask around."  She disappeared, going to tell Giles that bad news and throw a fit if she couldn't find someone who wanted to make a wish against Wolfram and Hart.  She really wanted to curse them for daring to touch her Xander snuggly.

"Xanny bear?" Sam teased.

Xander shrugged. "She learned how to be a modern girl from Willow and Buffy.  The same as I did.  Plus Jerry Springer."  He laid back down, smirking at Dean.  "I can help curse them."

"No," he ordered, glaring at him, hands on his hips.

"You look like that guy on tv."

Dean shook his head, coming over to hold Xander down and make him too brainless to try to sneak off again.

"Do I need to sleep in the car?" Sam complained.

"Up to you," Dean quipped back.

"Not like we care if you watch our prettiness in action," Xander added with a smirk.   He grabbed his head and moaned, curling into Dean's side.  "Aw, fuck, I already hate these things."  Sam gave him a horrified look.  He squeezed his eyes shut.  "Meg will trap us."

"Breathe," Dean ordered in his ear.  "Slow it down, tell me what you see."  Xander slowed his breathing and took the pen and paper to write it out.  He looked at Sam.  "The last dosing of magic that Willow shot at him activated a latent sight.  We don't know which spell it was since she sent seven of them to kill him while he was trying to stop her from taking out everyone."  Xander nudged him so he took the papers.  "This is it?"  Xander nodded.  "Did Bobby figure out how to help the headache?"

"Sledgehammer?"

"In my bag," Sam said quietly.  Dean gave him a long look.  "I've had some migraines.  I got a refill the day of the funeral."  Dean got the medicine and handed it over.  Xander took one and curled up, pulling Dean back to hold for now.  "He going to be okay?"

"He comes down better with tactile contact," Dean said.  "This is only his third one."  He stroked over Xander's arms, letting him calm himself down to a nap.  He read it over.  "Meg's a very bad girl and she'll attack us."  He read it over again before handing it to Sammy.  "A good warning."

Sam looked it over, nodding slowly.  "It is.  Let me type this to that Willow person?"

"Please."  Sam did that then handed it back, going back to sitting on his bed.  "Will it fade?"

"No one's sure," Dean said quietly.  He checked Xander, he was quietly snoring.  "It'll be fine, Sammy.  It's another reason I don't want him driving for right now.  It's like seizures, he could crash."

Sam nodded. "I can see why."  He took the vision back to go over it again. "So she'll have us trapped and try for me.  Why me?"

"I don't know, college boy.  Why you?" Dean asked.  He found his cellphone and texted a message to his father's phone but it came back as unknown number.  "Damn it."

"Does his journal have anything on them?" Sam asked, looking at his brother.

Dean shook his head.  "I looked when Bobby said he was having them.  If it hadn't been grief, just her usual thing, I'd have killed her for hurting him again," he said quietly.

Sam leaned closer.  "Why didn't you tell me you had a usual hunting partner?"

"Xander told me in the hospital to get you, dumbass.  No one was sure if he'd be able to come back.  She bruised him so badly he was bleeding internally.  Lots of little bruises bleeding all over his insides and his right lung."  Sam shuddered.  "From seven spells.  Probably from the first one from what he told me later that week."

"She's obviously a strong witch."

"Who had control issues.  Then she found black magic.  Her girlfriend dumped her to get her cleaned up after everything we didn't help.  She was so far gone she had turned him into a battery for her.  She was killing him and wasn't that sorry.  She put lust spells on him so he couldn't be gay.  She tried to block any magic he has.  She did a lust spell to attract women to him instead of me.  It made everyone in Vegas think we were rent boys.  A chaos person who came to help close her off again said she raised the birth rate by five percent."  Sam shuddered.  "Yeah.  Then her girlfriend stepped off and told her magic or her.  She cleaned up for her.  They were slowly getting back together.  The way I heard they had just barely gotten back together.  Five minutes literally and the geek shot at Buffy, getting her shoulder and killing Tara.  So Willow went spastic."

"The First Evil takes a resurrection.  Could it be Tara?"

"I asked that earlier when you headed outside.  He said no.  They couldn't see who."

Sam nodded.  "I'd hate for it to happen, Dean."

Dean stared at him.  "No demon is taking us or Dad without a hell of a fight.  Xander either.  He's been hunting since he was sixteen.  Without vacation time.  With a team that didn't always appreciate him so he went alone a lot.  There's times I think he's stronger than both of us and Dad.  Then again there's times he's not.  You two should get along okay.  He's got the same sort of mushy thing you do now and then.  Tried to pick out a song for us and that stuff."

Sam smirked. "Which one?"

"Some girly thing about battlefields.  It was pretty good in describing us but damned if I'm going to listen to anything that girly.  His girls did a number on him.  Oh, he has nightmares and he snores."

"I'll keep that in mind if something makes me wake up suddenly."  He leaned back.  "Six months?"  Dean nodded.  "Are you two going to be serious?"

"We're serious now."

"He lets you fool around, Dean.  That's not serious.  Serious is exclusive."

"I only get that right when he's not here or I get hit with demonic pheromones," he defended.  "He lets me because he knows how edgy I get without any."

"Your hand?" Sam teased with a smirk.

"Not good enough after having him.  One of the women that thought he was a pro ended up with the paramedics because she had a heart attack after him."  Sam gaped.  He nodded.  "Exactly.  He's got some odd contacts too."  He looked at Xander then at Sam.  "It going to freak you out?"

"I'll get used to my brother being with a gay hunter," Sam said dryly.  "Means we won't be competing for girls when I'm ready to hit on ones again."   Dean smirked at him.  Someone knocked so he got up to get it.  "Yes?" he asked the person who had checked them in.

"That rentboy you two called up staying over?" he asked bluntly.

Xander was nudged awake and looked at the man.  He mumbled something and went back to sleep, not seeing the guy wandering off like he hadn't seen anyone at the door.

"What did you do?" Sam asked, closing the door.

Xander mumbled something into Dean's hip.

Dean looked down.  "Did you just say an 'ignore me' spell you learned off Dracula?"  Xander nodded, yawning and curling more tightly around Dean's hips.  He looked at Sam.  "His past hunting on the hellmouth reads like a crack ho's literature project.  Remember that graduation that had the gas explosion?"  Sam sat down, looking at him, nodding a bit. "That was his.  There was a demonic ascension."

"Spirit?"

"Little demon to a higher demon.  Snake demon.  Giles said seventy feet, Xander said closer to ninety."  Sam whimpered.  "They had to defend against it and deal with it.  That's what happened.  He led the frontal assault."

Sam slumped.  "Then he's good?  Dad likes him?"

"Dad thought we're getting married," he admitted.  "We smoothed out his training since no one had.  He trained himself by jumping into the patrols.  They had a few alpha battles but Xander learned and it was good between us.  I'm not sure how this injury is going to matter."

"It shouldn't," Sam told him.  "Or else you think he can't do the job and should retire."

Dean grimaced. "I doubt it.  He'd try to kick my ass if I suggested it."

"Has he met anyone other than Bobby?"

"Missouri met him and she giggled her ass off when she saw him the first time.  He looked so hurt until I told him she was slightly telepathic.  Then he shot her a dirty thought.  She went so red," he said evilly, grinning at his little brother.  "She had to excuse herself to calm down.  Took her ten minutes in the bathroom with running water. We haven't had to run to Jim recently so I haven't introduced them but he and Bobby talk so they probably mentioned him."

"That's good.  I'd hate to see what would happen if some of the good old boys didn't like it."

Dean shook his head.  "He'll handle it.  He's got a very good hand at artillery."

Sam nodded.  "Good for him."  Someone pounded on the door.  Sam sighed and answered the door.  "Yes, Officer?"

"The artillery thing?" he asked.  "Also the manager said you hired a rent boy?"

Dean looked at him.  "He's my boyfriend and yes, he does know artillery.  More than enough to blow up something.  Fortunately he doesn't."

"That's good."  He looked at the boy then at him.  "Wore him out?"

Dean smirked.  "Headache. We keep being interrupted.  He's been gone for two months due to an injury."

"Uh-huh."  He looked at Sam.  "What's your part?"

"Dean's my brother.  I met Xander today."

He snorted.  "Uncomfortable?"

"No.  Xander made himself clear that he didn't care if I was embarrassed.  If I didn't like it, don't look or watch."  Anya appeared, making the cop freak out.  Xander snapped something and he went mute.  "Interesting trick."

Dean poked Xander.  "No magic.  I didn't marry a fantasy novel even if people do call you a knight."

Xander blinked at him.  "Screaming like that means I have to grab a weapon."

"Point," he admitted.  Xander pulled him down to kiss him.

Sam rolled his eyes.  "See?" he asked the cop, waving a hand.  Anya freed his vocal cords.  "Thank you."

"Welcome."  She smirked at him.  "Have I seen you before?"  He fled.  She let Sam close the door then grinned at him.  "Can I have a treat for the information?"

"I lost my girlfriend three weeks ago, Anya," he said quietly.  She cooed and hugged him, making him uncomfortable.  "There's Xander and Dean. Ask them.  Maybe they can."

She went to pounce and wiggle her way between them.  Dean and Xander shared a look then shrugged at each other, pleasing her and themselves.  It was good and she was worn out after a few minutes of Xander's fingers and Dean's cock.

Sam ignored them all while he read.

***

Anya reappeared in the Magic Box with a moan, grabbing the counter.

"What attacked you?" Buffy demanded.

"Xander and Dean," she said weakly, going to her knees with a hiss.  "Two very good men with evil fingers and penises and mouths.  I didn't even get a whole lot of a reward and I promised I'd take the innocence Xander had to regrow thanks to the draining stuff."  She blinked at Buffy.  "I need fluids and a wheelchair."

"He's that big?" Buffy taunted.

Anya shook her head.  "They're very strong.  Xander has evil fingers and Dean has an evil penis.  They made me very sore.  I don't think I can walk."  She shifted to her butt then back to her knees with a hiss.  "No more getting between Xander and Dean.  Maybe I'll try Dean's brother once he's not grieving."  She fell asleep against the front counter, still on her knees.

"Why can't I find guys who can do that?" Buffy asked Giles, who blushed and walked off cleaning his glasses.  "Did you ever get that tired, Willow?"

"No.  I think I missed out on something."  She pouted at Buffy.  "Dean was a hotty."

"Maybe Sam's just as hot," she said optimistically.

"He lost his girlfriend three weeks ago to a demon," Giles called.

"Then maybe he could use a good cuddle," Buffy decided.  She called Dean's phone, getting an unfamiliar voice.  "You must be Sam.  I'm Buffy and Anya told us.  Wanted to see if we could meet and do the research party thing.  Because we need help doing ours sometimes and if you found something we didn't we need to know.  Of course you can.  Giles is a watcher and there's tons of books around here that not even he's sure about the contents of."  She smiled.  "We can do that.  Sunnydale of course.  At the Magic Box.  Dean and Xander both know the way.  So does your dad.  Missing?"  She frowned at Giles, who shrugged a bit.  "Huh.  We'll put out word, make sure our current probs didn't get him.  We can do that.  We're well plugged into the demonic underground."  She snapped her fingers at Willow.  "You have email."  She got into it.  "She's looking now.  Hmm.  Any idea which reason wanted Xander as their sacrifice?"  She nodded.

"Then we'll look.  We're always here," she promised with a smile.  "Of course.  Just pop around or whatever.  Xander's still got stuff in storage out here.  We're good.  Honestly.  Thanks, Sam, and if you need girl stuff you can call too.  Because sometimes you gotta have a hug.  My mom said so and she's very smart."  She smiled.  "We're here for that and cookies now and then too," she promised.  "Thanks.  Sure, write us soon or drop by so we can compare and let you into the books.  Laters.  Have a good night."  She heard a moan and blushed.  "Was that Xander?"  She giggled.  "Anya came back being unable to sit and fell asleep against a case on the floor.  Have a better night."   She hung up and put the phone back.  "Xander's being Mr. Sharing.  They're in a shared motel room so he has to listen to him and the Dean giggle and groan.  I need some of that."

"Maybe someone coming for the apocalypse is going to be cute," Willow offered.

Buffy smiled.  "That'd be nice.  There's cute watchers, right, Giles?  They're not all tragically older than me and Mom?"

"No, we're not all old, Buffy.  It's dealing with the slayers that make us feel that way since you're all so young and full of life."

"Yeah, I guess that'd be bad.  Oh, Sam said that his father was missing but probably alive.  He texted them coordinates to a problem recently.  That's why Dean went to pick him up at college.  They have no idea where he is and Dean's uber-worried about him so if we hear where he is we need to tell them."  They all nodded and Willow started a search on him.  "Anything in the email or about why Wolfram and Hart wanted to sacrifice our Xander?"

"My Xander," Anya mumbled.  "Sleep with your brother."

Buffy looked at her.  "Ewww.  Go have that sort of smutty dream at home, Anya."  She pouted but disappeared.  She looked at Willow again.  "Anything?"

"Ideas.  No firm results yet.  I'm looking.  It has some of what we got from Wolfram and Hart just now mixed in to base the theory off of.  Looks like Angel's going to be having hell on earth too."

"Charming.  The whole west coast will be hell.  Like it is in July and August only earlier."  She walked off.  "I'm going on patrol.  Tell me if new stuff comes up or if I can come back."  They all nodded.

Willow looked at Giles.  "It also says that Xander mumbled a spell in his sleep that didn't work."

"Dean will stop him," he promised her.   She nodded, going back to her searching.  She needed to get back into this.  She had left her real life for magic and she would do Tara proud by staying clean of dark magic and evilness.  Giles smiled and got back to his own research on the demon for Sam.  That gave him an idea and he went to see if there was a prophecy about them.  It could help him find out more.

***

Sam woke up with a blink, staring at the man above him.  "What time is it?"

"Four.  Your phone went off."  He handed it over.  "They left a voicemail."

"Thanks."  He sat up and listened to it, not watching Xander climb back into bed with his brother.  He sighed at the end, nodding.  "That's not a good bit of information."

"Problems at home?"

"They ruled the fire an electrical problem even though it wasn't.  They've got to fax paperwork to me."  Xander looked at him.  "No hugging, Xander.  Dad would hate that."

"He got gruff and grumbled but he let me hug him when he was having a bad day and got injured."  He flipped over.  "The Kinkos downtown has a public fax I think.  The sign on the window said it did when the taxi went past."

"Thanks."  He tried hard not to watch them.  Dean wasn't cuddling but Xander was wrapped around his side.  Dean had one arm over Xander and was smiling in his sleep.  Dean looked peaceful and content.  It was good for him.

"I'm not changing into a bunny rabbit," Xander said quietly.  "Quit staring, Sam."

"Sorry, Xander.  Not used to seeing Dean smile in his sleep."

"It means he's got cheeseburgers."

Sam laughed, getting up to go outside and call that friend back.  Since she was up and all.  He came back a few minutes later to find Xander asleep.  He was snoring so he was sure he was.  He opened the laptop and looked at the background that came up.  It was a white cat with a small gray spot between its ears and a red rubber ducky with horns sitting on its side.  The caption said 'he will gives me cheezeburgers for soul, dat fair trade?'  Sam glared at Xander, but it was so cute and it fit them very well.  When he left to get them coffee and came back, he nudged Xander.  "No, the devil duck is making a sucky deal but the cat probably won't mind for another life."

Xander grinned.  "Wasn't me, but I saw him do it."

"Do what?" Dean moaned, looking at his brother.  "Watching?"

"Coffee?"  He waved the cup and Dean stole his to drink.  "I got you black with sugar, Xander."  That got a grin and Xander put it aside then laid down on Dean's stomach while he drank his coffee.  "He not a morning person?" he teased.

"If you weren't watching, I'd be blown by now," Dean shot back.

"Thank you for the new background on the computer."

"What new background?"  Sam showed him and he shrugged. "Xander's cutesy that way.  I try, ya know?"

"He said you did it."

Dean looked at him.  "That's more Dad's style than mine, Sammy.  Really."  He nudged Xander, getting a snore instead of a snore.  "Did you change the wallpaper?"

"No.  Evil you did it."

"Evil me came back?" he asked with a grin.   Evil Dean was Xander's pranking side that usually came out when Xander had been drinking and teasing.   Xander nodded against his bellybutton.  "When did he come back?"

"Last night.  He wanted to have dirty, nasty, tying the Xander down sex but Sammy was awake."  He yawned, then licked over the firm stomach that the tank top riding up was showing him.  "Hmm, good you is back again.  Pity."  He took another lick.

Dean flipped the blankets up and Sam blushed, going to hide behind his computer.  Dean was smirking down at Xander.  Who was mumbling at his cock again.  "Should've slept last night, Xander."

Xander blinked at him.  "Phone."

"Go ahead.  Sammy can hide some more.  You can sleep in the backseat."

"Yes, Dean.  Does that mean we can't shock the traffic cop again?"

"Probably not since I nearly crashed the last time."

He went back to his playing.  When Dean finally came in his mouth he sat up and drank his coffee and the rest of Dean's,  then headed for the bathroom to shower.

Dean drifted off again much happier.  He had taught his protege well.

Sam shook his head.  It'd take him a while to get used to this new, gayer Dean.  Xander came out in a towel and got into his bag, bringing clothes into the bathroom with him.  "Did you use my shampoo?"

"No, I use Dean's.  It's cheaper."

"Okay."  He got back to his morning email.   It'd be too creepy if they shared the same bottle of shampoo.

"Not like it'll make you jump him too," Dean said dryly from his comfortable spot without opening his eyes.

"No, but I don't want to know if it works well enough to rinse Dean sweat off."

"Why wash it off?  It's a great scent to carry," Dean said happily.  Xander came out and gave him a kiss.  "More coffee?"

"If you get your ass up and help me fix the backseat I'll treat for breakfast.  Even waffles."

"You and sugar is evil," Dean reminded him.

Xander beamed.  "But I'll be in the backseat.  I can't play with you while you drive or anything."

"Good point.  Fine."  He got up with a groan, adjusting his clothes before Sam could peek.  He took a shower and got dressed too, coming out to help Xander fix the stuck back seat.  "What happened to what you took with you?"

"I paid for the supplies we used to drain me and some groceries, plus to have someone arrest the minion who was coercing Bobby into giving up and moving to Canada."

"Ah."  They each picked a side and fixed the back seat, Xander climbing in to count the money.  "Are we missing any?"

"Nope.  Just seeing how much we have left."

"Probably not a whole lot."

Xander looked at him. "I asked for six mil," he said quietly.  Dean gaped.  He smirked back.  "It had to last me forever and ever."

Dean leaned over to kiss him.  "I love your evil mind."  Xander beamed.  "Where's that shirt?"

"In the weapons compartment, under the spare rock salt bullets.  We need to test it to make sure you didn't damage any of the wires."  They both loaded their wallets and put the seat back down, then closed the doors and looked at the shirt.  Xander texted the message to it.  Two letters worth didn't light so he got into it, frowning some.  "Need  a soldering gun."  Dean handed one over.  Xander went to fix the shirt by the soda machine so Sam wouldn't know.  Then Dean tested it, smiling at the message that came up.  He turned it off and they closed up everything else, going to give the present to Sam.  "I got that for Dean but it doesn't fit him, Sammy.  It's a bit big and it's built to keep you hot or cool depending on the local temperature and your body temperature.  It's a new survivalist trial.  Want to try it for me today?"

"Sure," he agreed, putting it on over his t-shirt.  "A bit heavy."  The heater in the back came on and he smiled.  "That's nice."

"Very," Dean agreed.  "We done, guys?"  They nodded and packed things, going back down to the car.  Xander gave him a kiss before getting into the back.  "Waffles, right?"  They nodded and he drove them to the commercial waffle place by the mall.  Xander got out first to get them seats while Sam followed.  Behind him, Dean texted the shirt a message and it showed up, making him grin because this place had no mirrors.  Perfect!

***

A few hours later Sam was still wondering why people were staring at them.  He checked them over.  Dean and Xander weren't groping or being cute.  They were all dressed.  He stopped at a shiny support pole to check himself.  His hair wasn't too bad even though he needed a trim.  He checked his butt, it looked decent enough today.  His fly wasn't undone.   He saw a blinking something and turned farther. More blinking letters.  He found a changing room and went to check in there, groaning at the message of 'I like bad girls who will do nasty things' and a phone number on his back.  He took off the shirt and walked out, smacking Dean on the arm for it.  "Asshole," he muttered.  "Turn it off before some parent complains."  Xander giggled.  "I can see why he married you now."

"I did it to him in Vegas," Xander said with a sweet, innocent grin.

Dean pinched him.  "Don't remind me I have to pay you back for that."

Xander walked off humming.  He texted a new message and heard Sam and Dean both squeak before Dean turned it off.  'Kneel before me and let me make you beg' was just a bit more dirty than needed to be out in a mall.

"Don't get too far ahead, Xander, or I'm leaving you," Dean called.

"Try, watch me retaliate," Xander called back.  "Heading for the sports store.  I'm out of bolts."

"Fine."  They walked that way, the brothers shaking their heads.  Xander was in a playful mood.  That's why they walked into the store and got hit with nerf darts.

"Xander!" Sam complained.  The little kid that shot him sniffled. "Sorry, thought it was a friend playing a prank."  The kid hurried off.  No one had to know that the guy had paid him fifty bucks to shoot them both with the dye darts.

Dean looked at his brother then groaned.  "Where's the dye on me?"

"Where the dart stuck," he said, looking at it.  "Nice aim on the kid."

Dean stalked his boyfriend to the crossbow bolts, pinning him against a shelf.  "I'm going to make you beg later for this.  This is a good shirt."

"It washes and you need to loosen up, Dean.  Before the next one is Cupid's Arrow."  He winked and held up the bolts he wanted.  "Think I can tip them again?"

Dean looked.  "Last time you said those didn't want to hold it.  Get the other ones."

"They don't come in wooden shafts."

"Then replace the heads. Or get a box of each."  Xander sighed but nodded and did that.  He also got a handheld poker machine to keep his skills sharp.

***

Sam looked at his laptop that night when they unpacked at the motel of the night, frowning at the scene of a striped kitten running from two brown sponge creatures with arms, legs, and faces.  The saying 'every time you masturbate...god kills a kitten.  Please, think of the kittens' did not make him happy.  "Not my style, Xander."

Dean looked then giggled.  "So that's why there's so many kittens.  People wanted us to stop doing that!"  He leaned into the bathroom.  "Where did the evil me find that one?"

"Yahoo."  He smirked from the sink, winking in the mirror.  "I thought Sam might need some cheering up."

"He probably could."  He shut the door and looked at Sam.  "You did laugh."

"I did not."

"There was a snort of joy," Dean assured him.

"I did not!"

"Did," he said.

Xander walked out and kissed Dean.  "If he doesn't like it, have him cancel that one."  He took another kiss.  "Club so you can make your share of the money?"

"Sure," he agreed.  "Sammy?"

"I'm good."  He watched them go but didn't hear the car.  There was a nice club up the street so they probably left the car to keep it safe and save on gas.  He changed the background and came up with something else.  In his usual picture's place was another cat picture.  This time it was an off-white, squished face, fluffy cat with a brown mask and ears and the caption 'no, no, No!  I are NOT Mogwhy!'  He did laugh at that one.  He had loved _Gremlins_ as a kid.  So maybe Xander wasn't *so* bad.  He certainly made Dean happier.  Sam decided to surf the site the last one had come from, finding it easily enough.  It had a lot of cute pictures.  Too many to save down.

***

Xander was asleep in the backseat when Sam got curious.  "So, he hunted since he was sixteen?"  Dean nodded, tapping along with his music.  "Why?"  Dean shot him an odd look.  "We got pulled in because of Mom.  What pulled him in?"

"His best friend was killed by vampires a few days after Buffy got into town," Dean said quietly, glancing in the mirror.  He glanced at Sam again then back to the road.  "He's been hunting with her since then, at least until the Initiative mess and their 'tude issues that made him walk off."

"'Tude issues?"

"They have this problem that Xander calls 'no normals allowed syndrome'.  Basically they keep trying to shove him away because he wasn't a slayer or a witch."

Sam nodded slowly. "To protect him?"

"So they said but they put it less than nicely.  It happened before graduation and Xander proved himself there. Things might've started to get better after his short roadtrip to Oxnard, but the military showed up to study demons by torture and other less gentle methods.  They put a plan in place to separate them by playing on the old distance that had shown up.  Even after they got rid of them and Xander had to help with the spell in a major way they still didn't want to let him do the things he had been doing for four years.  So he walked off.  He called Dad and left."  He glanced at his brother again then back at the road.  "No one there tried to train him, Sammy.  No one worked on his self defense or weapons skills.  He jumped in and learned it the hard way.  And there, they don't shoot the vampires very often.  Usually it's a stake to the chest and move on.  Nightly."  Sam winced at that, shifting some.  "We holed up at a small cabin and got into his training when he showed up.  The first time he showed up we had to send him to Bobby because we couldn't drain the magic Willow had been using him to store.  He said he created a mini hellmouth behind Bobby's house until Giles sent someone to drain it for him.  It took them a week to drain all the energy she had put into him.  Then he went to think.  Because he was so up close and personal he was feeling some burnout and doubts that he wouldn't turn into some sort of psycho."

"Then why did he come back?"

"He stopped somewhere for dinner one night.  He had a bad feeling about the town but he ignored it as not his duty at that time, which it wasn't.  No one had asked him to step in.  He had no idea what the problem was and he was there to have dinner.  A few demons broke into a sorority."  Sam winced and hissed.  "Exactly.  He somehow heard that it had happened and the demons were now trying to take down the cops who answered the call.  Xander burst in and helped.  Dad had to pound the knowledge that it wasn't his fault, he wasn't responsible for every death, and there's no way he could've known into his head.  His soul's deeper than some wells, Sammy.  He still has nightmares from the graduation battle he led.  He still has nightmares from the Initiative.  Now and then he has ones from normal hunting times.  He's good, he's deep and he's good.  He's got great skills. Give him a chance."

"I am.  I wanted to know more about him."

"Then sit down and talk to him.  He'll babble and avoid anything too personal," Dean told him.  "I got to do that while making him quit wearing ugly clothes.  He had some really horrible shirts.  Loud colors, patterns that made you nauseous to look at.  Dad and I agreed, we fixed that issue while we kept fixing Willow's thing against gay men.  She kept trying to suppress it and make Xander like her more.  No idea why."

"The same witch?"  Dean nodded.  "Is she fixed?"

"Fully.  The last time, after Vegas, Dad walked into the Magic Box and paddled her for a good twenty minutes.  Then they bound her from harm.  Even the chaos sorcerer Xander knows doesn't like how she was doing.  He sicced a blood path mage onto her too.  She reformed because her girlfriend kicked her ass and walked off.  She got clean and better to get her back.  Then she died."

"Now what happens?"

"Now, she's being watched I'm sure.  For right now, she's fine.  She's grieving but it's a healthier one.  Xander stopped her from destroying the world in her grief over Tara.   We went to check on her before the Vegas thing and Tara was a sweet girl.  The sort of incorruptible sweetness and strength that you find in saints."

Sam nodded.  "She sounds like she was a nice girl."

"And a pretty powerful white witch," Dean agreed.  Sam gaped.  He smirked. "Xander told me her mother taught her."

"What about his family?"  Dean growled.  "I'll drop that one."

"His father tried to kill him for not being dead.  'Nuff said?"

"Yeah.  'Nuff said," he agreed.  "Dad?"

"Dad and his father met," he said dryly.  "Dad was with us when we went back there to check on Willow with Xander.  Damn was it only eight months ago?" he said, counting backward.  "I guess it was.  Xander nearly got taken by some vamps who had been vamped after being in the graduation battle with him.  They had a small nuclear device that they wanted his help with.  We met some polite, forceful Feds who didn't want to deal with us."

"Polite?"

"Very."

"Is that how he got the money?"

"No, that was a wish on Janus.  I know it's not all in there, he's moved some to a safer spot, probably with Bobby or Giles, but he got it when he saved that chaos guy and had him help him make a wish on a book that held part of Janus' essence or something.  That's all he said about it.  That and he planned on using it to hide from everyone for a very long time.  Watchers, demons, and everyone."

"But he came back."

"Because he felt that people were going to die if he didn't," Dean agreed patiently.

Sam glanced back at Xander then at him.  "So you really like him a lot?"

"I do.  I'm not going to go all girlish and say we're going to settle down, adopt some kids, all that stuff.  We're a hunting team though."

"Then why did you need me?"

Dean glanced at him again.  "Because there was a really good chance Xander was too injured to do more than sit somewhere and research," he said quietly.  "They kept him in the hospital for three and a half weeks, Sammy.  Then he went to Bobby's to finish healing and have the new energy she hit him with drained.  Black magic this time."

Sam slumped in his seat.  "So he might not have come back."

"He told me if something happened I was to come see you.  He ordered me to and then took a long nap thanks to the drugs."

Sam nodded.  "So I'm still needed but he's coming back full time?"

Dean shrugged.  "I don't know, Sammy.  It's possible.  He's trying really hard.  Bobby noticed his sudden influx of magic and visions started thanks to this new stuff she hit him with.  He thinks he might've channeled part of her before.  Since he's a medium and easily possessed...."

Sam sat up straight then looked back at Xander.  "Pull over.  Let's make sure she's out of him.  That could hurt him more."  Dean pulled over, turning off the car to look at him.  "If she did that, and it's fully possible in some sort of last strike spell, then that could be why he tried to use magic on the motel owner and it backfired."  He got out and got into the trunk, coming back with the holy water and what he needed to do the exorcism.  Xander moaned and shifted but Dean petted his head and he quit.  Sam finished and watched some of it dissipate.  Then Xander started to scream and hold his head and shake.  Dean slithered over the seat to hold him down and help him.  Sam went back to the exorcism.  More came out and it was better.  Xander was back out.  Sam and Dean shared a look.  "Wake him up."

Dean gently nudged Xander, getting a heavy, defeated look.  "Hey.  You all right?"

"What did you do?"

"Sam thought maybe some of Willow was possessing you so he did an exorcism to get her out.  You started to scream worse than a porn star, Xander."

"Hmm.  Porn bad," he said weakly then put his head back down and passed out.

"That's not Xander," Dean said, glaring at Sam.

Sam got into the book he had drug out too, looking at it.  "Maybe it reversed.  Xander got sent out and the spirit stayed."  He tried that rite and it was better.  Xander was clearly more comfortable and him.  He was relaxed but still passed out.  Dean got him up and Sam got into the bag of drinks for him, handing over some juice.  "I'm sorry, Xander."

Xander growled, then sniffed at Dean and made a huffing noise at him.

Dean leaned down to kiss him.  "Give me the boy back, furry bitch.  My boy, no one else."  Her growl went up when Sam leaned closer.  "Sam, she'll attack and eat you."  He turned around and sat down.  Dean got Xander calmed down and talked him down into his head to change back.  He blinked at the stiff man underneath him.  "Can I have the usual boy back, not this side of him?" he asked the soldier.

"Could but he's not in here."  Sam moaned.  "Got rid of the cranky one.  Thank you for that."  He looked up then at him.  "Protection amulet?"

Dean pulled his off and did the chant to bring Xander back to his own body from the book.  He watched as his eyes changed, became less hard.  The body underneath him relaxed in the normal way into his.  "Xander?"

"Present," he said weakly.  "What did we do?"

Sam looked back.  "I figured out that something she did got you slightly possessed again.  I was trying to banish it, Xander.  I'm sorry."  Xander reached up and batted at his head.  "I didn't mean to make you go out of your body."

"You'll suffer later."  He pulled Dean down, cuddling him.  "Need a touchstone to settle in."

"Sure."  He made sure Xander stayed in his body, holding him while he fell back asleep.  Then he put the protection amulets on him for now.  He'd get them back later when Xander was back to himself.

Xander smiled in his sleep, touching the amulet around his neck.  "Good," he said, petting it.  "Good, Dean."

Dean grinned.  "Hold that for me, 'kay?" he asked in his boy's ear.  Xander hummed and took a kiss.   "That's my boy.  Let me go drive while you nap.  Want music?"  Xander smiled and nodded.  "I'll do that."  He got out and walked around to sit behind the wheel, digging in the glove box for the tape he needed.  "He sleeps to this."  He put in the music and Sam gaped.  "What?  It's my music.  Driver picks the music.  He likes to sleep to Iron Butterfly.  Said it gives him good dreams.  He called to complain to Joyce about my music and she made me tapes of hers and Giles' album collection.  He had a lot of classic rock in his."  He restarted the car and pulled back onto the road, glancing back at him.  He was curled up, both hands around the amulet.  "No more exorcisms."

"I won't.  What was the growling?"

"He got possessed by a hyena back in tenth grade.  She likes to stick around to help him."

"That can't be good for him."

"He's fine with it," Dean said firmly.  "Even after he bit Dad that once he's fine with it."

"Okay.  I wasn't going to try anything."

"Uh-huh.  Just don't, Sammy.  He's happy the way he is.  She's pretty nice when she comes out to play.  Likes how I smell.  Bit Dad on the knee once but we learned why cranberry juice brings her out."

"I thought that was apple."

"It is but she came back first to protect him."

"I won't try to remove it unless he asks, Dean.  I promise."

"Good."  He pulled off the highway and into a burger place, hitting the drivethru for lunch.  Once he had paid and they were back on the highway he tossed back a burger.  Xander growled but dug into it while still mostly asleep.  "Bobby said to keep feeding him protein.  He thinks he's still sore but Xander's stubborn and won't admit it."

"Bet dad loved that."

"He's the same sort of stubborn Dad is about that stuff," Dean assured him.  "Xander tried to refuse stitches once and they went at it but Dad was right.  So I knocked him down and sat on him while I did them for him.  Then I did Dad's."

"Which one tried to smack you?"

"Neither one.  Dad grumbled.  Xander complained.  And we went on with the night."  He gave him a grimace.  "Xander cannot dance and do not let him pick up women.  Only the most evil are attracted to him."

"Anya," Xander complained from the back seat.  "Not evil and human."

"A nice change and she's formerly evil, how about that?" Dean suggested dryly.

"I guess.  She wasn't really, just granting wishes for girls who got dumped or hurt."

"She turned one guy into the only flushing toilet in a village that had outhouses, Xander. She's just a bit less than good," Dean smarted back.

"Then next time he shouldn't beat his wife," Xander shot back.  "Especially not because she left the toilet seat down."  He sat up and leaned forward.  "I wouldn't beat you because of that.  He was a weak bastard who deserved it."

"Well, yeah, but she's answered some for more frivolous calls too."

"She was a vengeance demon, Dean.  They happen.  All you can do is be nice about it to make sure none of your exes call on them.  Though if I ever have to call Hallie on this family I'll just beat the parent who screwed up that badly instead."

Dean grinned in the mirror at him.  "Good to know.  What's she over?"

"Lost childhoods."

Sam shuddered. "If they're my kids and my future wife does it, we'll beat her together," he promised.

Xander patted him on the head.  "Okay."  He nibbled on Dean's ear.  "Any more burgers since you fed me onions while I was asleep?"

"Fries," Sam offered, handing them back.  Xander hummed as he took them, curling up to nibble and watch the scenery. There was an awkward pause so Sam decided to break it. "So what have you guys been handling?"

"Mostly a lot of beasties," Xander said.  "I got Buffy a pet demon dog because it decided it wanted our dinner while we were on stakeout one night."

Dean nodded.  "She called squealing the next morning because it tried to climb in her underwear with her but otherwise Joyce and she are pretty happy with the smelly dog."

"Her girlfriend?"

"Mother," Xander corrected.  "Joyce is a sweet, good woman."

"Who's an excellent cook," Dean added.   Xander nodded.  "She still sends him cookies through Willow now and then."  Xander grinned.  "Do we have more?"

"I shared the last batch with Bobby because the Fed made him have a bad week."

"Why was the minion of evil after him?" Sam asked.

Xander shrugged.  "Beyond wanting a hunter out of the business?  No one specifically paid him to take Bobby out but he was bothering others too."  That got a nod.  "Where are we headed?"

"West coast.  The one you showed up with was fixed by a priest.  There's something going on at Stanford among Sammy's friends so we're handling that."  Xander nodded, nibbling another fry.  "Want to check on the girls?"

"No I think there'll be enough drama wherever we're going.  Thanks though."

Sam looked back at him.  "Were you riding with Dean?"

"Yup.  We used my last car to firebomb a goddess who wanted to open a portal to her hell dimension and suck the earth in.  Small change from the normal open one to suck hell onto earth."  He nibbled another fry.  Dean snickered.  Sam gave him a horrified look.  "Why?"

"Wondering if you had a special ride," Sam said.

Xander shook his head.  "I could but John and Dean agreed I'd ride with Dean.  Less chance of Dean misplacing me some night when he's being cranky."  He frowned and looked around, finding the bug underneath the seat.  "Hey, Dean, pull over please?"  He held up the bug.  Dean pulled over and got out to check the bag.  It was all there.  Xander looked.  "Dye pack," he said.  Dean winced.  Those things could make a mess of everything.  "That wasn't there before."

"No, it wasn't.  I made sure of it," Dean agreed.  "How do we do it?"

Xander muttered something then quickly threw them at the road, watching them splatter.  He searched and threw another two out there, nearly hitting the cop car that had been following them.  He smiled at the cop, walking the bug over to him.  "That's rude and unless you have a warrant, I'm suing your asses.  I don't give a damn if you planted it and the dye packs in *my* money or not, but I didn't steal that money.  I don't care what you think and if you try it again I'm going to get Feds so far down your throat you're going to gag on their cocks."  He walked back to the car and helped reseat the backseat then climbed in.  He smiled at Sam.  "I have no idea who's paying the dirty cops, but I will be finding out and I will be fixing them," he called loudly enough for the cops to hear.  They peeled off and Xander looked at Dean.  "Wolfram and Hart's nearest office is where?"

"We're going to the one in LA."

"Angel's running it."

"Oooh.  Huh."  He had been warned to leave Angel alone, even if he did want to stake the wrongness.

"Phoenix?"

"About six hours.  Vegas is closer."

"That'll work," Xander decided.  "Could use the stress relief anyway."  That got a nod and Dean drove them off.  He seethed and planned and plotted.  Then he figured out what he wanted to do and how to do it.  They went to a different motel this time, letting Sam check them in while Xander went to do a bit of shopping.  He needed a few things.  Dean could play poker for a few minutes.  He came out of the store with what he needed and the other things in a small bag on his waist.  Plus a new outfit because the girls were right, sometimes you had to have the special outfit for the special times.  He walked over to the law firm, staring up at it.  Then he walked inside and started to throw the holy water around.  People shrieked and ducked and ran.  "Good," he sneered.  "That's for messing with me."  He got onto the elevator, smiling at the guard next to him. "Hi, Xander Harris, White Knight of Sunnydale."  The man wet himself.  "Your people have been trying to kidnap and discredit me.  I've had enough."  He got off on the floor the guard pushed.  "Thank you, sir.  I'd quit and check for a soul clause.  They like to do that from what I hear."

He pulled something out and headed into the main meeting area, letting his sword expand again.  A few of them got up and backed away.  "Oh, don't worry, I'm here to settle a small dispute."  He cleaved the table in half then stared at the one at the head of the table.  "I'm Alexander Harris.  White Knight of Sunnydale.  Buffy's champion and now a general demon hunter."  The man started to splutter.  "Your office and others in your shady, shitty, decrepit organization have tried to have me kidnaped, tried to have the car bugged, tried to ruin my stash of money, which I got from Janus personally when I asked nicely after saving his high priest.   I've had enough.  That's why I'm here," he finished with a smile.  He pulled a gun and shot the ones that silver worked on then got the others with the sword.  He looked at the three remaining members then pulled out a vial, cracking it open before crushing it under his foot.  The demon that appeared was huge, slobbering, slightly intelligent.  "Good morning."

"These ones saved me."

Xander smirked as he looked at him.  "So you gave up part of your soul and essence to them?  Do you know what they're going to do with it since they're trying open the hellmouth and let the First Evil out?  Do you know where you'll end up when it comes?"

The demon looked at him.  His kind weren't higher demons by any means and they had stories about what happened when the Old Ones had been around.  "Will it come?"

"They're on the third step in Sunnydale.  We're working to stop it.  They think I'm a good sacrifice to open the seal."

The demon sniffed him.  "No, you're alive.  Not a minion of the evil."  He looked at the dead bodies.  "Can I snack?"

"You go right ahead.  Consider it a present as long as you tell the others what's going on."  The demon nodded, nibbling on an arm he ripped off.  Xander pulled out two more and made them appear, waving at them.  One shrieked in anger.  "Morning."

"Why does a hunter have us!" she demanded.

"Because he bought you after Wolfram and Hart sold you."  He pointed. "The same way they want to sell me to release the First Evil.  Do you want to end up a minion?"

She sneered and turned to the remaining three.  "I know of them."

"Good.  A present for your release party.  Then leave Las Vegas after you're done with the lawyers here.  Or else hunters are going to come for you."  He looked at the silent one, nodding.  "Morning, Great One D'Hoffryn."

"Harris.  No Anyanka?"

"We broke up.  I'm with a hunter now."

He hummed and nodded.  "They do serve a purpose."

"Not much of one that stupid minions can't duplicate.  They're trying to take what's mine.  They're even trying to sacrifice me to open the Seal."  D'Hoffryn shuddered.  "Yes, exactly.  And get this, they think I'll be able to bring on the Everlasting Night."

D'Hoffryn looked at him.  "They do serve a purpose."

"Yeah, well, not enough of one.  As an injured person and an insulted one, which you are over, I would like to request that you take their mission into better hands.  Reduce their efficiency, kill the senior partners of all but the LA branch, Angel can handle them.  Maybe even make it so they have to work for the Light.  Which would be just as helpful to their mission really."  D'Hoffryn looked interested.  "I do wish that they had to work for the light and their senior partners of all but the LA board were dead and gone."

D'Hoffryn laughed.  "You worded that well."

"Don't want to risk Angel and get the Powers onto my ass again.  They might make Willow do another lust spell on me and make people pay me for looking good in leather."  He smirked.   "Anya still saying she's sore?"

"Indeed.  You made it so she couldn't work for two days."

"Dean had her.  I only teased, D'Hoffryn.  They had to spell clean me again."  The senior demon shuddered.  "By the way, anything I can personally do to keep the First Evil out of this plane?"

"Don't die there."  He looked at them. "Wish granted.  You're an annoyance and he's right, new fledges would be better suited to your jobs."  He waved a hand and Xander found himself outside.  He reshrumk the sword.  The Higher looked at him. "That was dangerous."

"They were selling magical artifacts and the parts of the demons they confiscated in fees around the corner.  Even yours."  He handed over the sword. "I do believe that should be in England."

He looked then nodded.  "It should be.  I'll have it returned."  He studied the boy.  "No, there is nothing you can personally do.  It will take seven slayers."  Xander nodded his thanks and the demon faded out.  That had been a bit of fun.

Xander strolled off, whistling a happy, cheerful tune.  He ran into a person he knew, stopping to look at him.  "Wes?"

"Xander?"  He looked him over.  "Oh, dear."

"Relax.  I just had to talk to the Wolfram and Hart board with some of the demons they had sold parts of and a magical sword."

Wesley winced.  "What were they doing this time?"

"Trying to use me to open the Seal in Sunnydale."  Wesley looked confused.  "The First Evil stuff, Wes?"

"I hadn't heard.  I've been on vacation for a week or so."

"It's been going on for over a week, Wes.  The Council being blown up, all that?"  Wesley moaned.  "Are you all right?"  He shook his head.  "What day do you think it is?"

"The Ides of March?"

Xander looked at his watch then at him.  "Wes, it's September."   He took his arm and walked him off.  "C'mon."  He led him to the nearest police officer he could find.  "Officer, this is a friend of mine from home I just found wandering around.  He's had a head injury or something.  He thinks it's March."  The guy looked at his own watch then at Wesley.  "Can I get you to call him an ambulance while I call his coworkers and friends?"

"I can do that," he agreed, reaching for his radio.  "No bike, sir?"

"I had to go thrill someone with my hot ass in the leather," he said with a grin.

The officer laughed but called for an ambulance while Xander pulled out his phone and called a number in LA.  "Gunn, Xander.  Found Wes.  Las Vegas.  He thinks it's March.  I'm having him taking to the ER.  Yeah, he did.  Had to talk to the law firm for hell about their desire to see me bloody and broken over the Seal.  Yup.  Fixed.  Found them selling bad things.  Pointed it out.  Offered a solution from on Higher authority.  They're going to behave."  An ambulance pulled up. "It's here.  Hold on."  He put it against his shoulders.  "Hey, guys, this is Wesley Wyndham-Pryce.  Hyphenated.  He's a Brit citizen working in LA with a PI.  He thinks it's the Ides of March and he's had a few head injuries recently.  I'm on with his coworker and medical contact."

One of the paramedics took the phone.  "Sir, do you know if he has any allergies?"  He waited the other guy dug that out and they got Wesley into the back to look at him.  "We can do that.  Desert Palms, sir.  That's where he'll be.  Probably in observation.  Anything we should know?"  He wrote something down.  "Thank you.  Your number?"  He wrote that down as well.  He looked at the young guy.  "Dark hair, brown eyes, dark forest green leather body suit that's very tight.  Biker boots.  Sunglasses in his hair.  Thank you, sir.  Of course.  Call there in about an hour and tell them when you'll be in to pick him up if he can go home."  He hung up and tossed Xander back the phone.  "Thank you."

"I've been banged on the head before for the same reason," he admitted dryly.  "You be good, Wes.   Gunn's coming."  He nodded.  "I'll even call Giles if you want."

"Please don't.  He'll laugh."

"He did at my last one too," he admitted.  "I'll let Gunn or Fred tell them."  He smiled.  "Have a good trip and flirt with the nurses for me."  He waved and the paramedics took him off.  He looked at the Officer, who was still looking amused.  "Have you ever had someone who wanted to kidnap you, sacrifice you in a three-day blood rite, and then use you as a sex toy?  That's the week I've had."  The officer walked off laughing.  Xander went in the other direction, running into Sam first.  Who gaped in horror.  He grinned.  "Wolfram and Hart were selling parts they had taken in fees."

"Oh, damn."

"I wasn't turned, Sam."

"Uh-huh."

"Standing in the sun, Sammy.  Not a vamp."

"If you're sure."  He took a picture of him and sent it to Dean's phone.  Dean's text back looked like swearing.  "Maybe you should go change?"

Xander grinned.  "But I'm comfy!"  He smirked.  "Think Dean'll growl?"

"I can pretty well promise that."

"Send it to Dad?"

"I can do that too."  He sent it to his father's text ID.  Someone had sent the new one to Dean the other day.  "Go change?"

"Going clubbing at the biker bar."  He walked off, taking Sam with him.  "C'mon, little brother."

"I'm the same age you are."

"I'm sleeping with your older brother, that makes you my little brother too."

"Whatever," he decided.  He looked.  Xander had picked a bar full of racing bikes. "I know nothing about bikes."

"I do, Bobby taught me.  He thinks I should ride one.  Less dangerous."

"Um, probably not.  Hard to hide the luggage."

"Not if I get saddle bags with some magic coating from Willow.  She said she could do that for my birthday."  He walked him inside, smiling at the bartender.  "I'm picking out my first bike this week.  This is my little brother-in-law.  Who rides that blue one?  I've heard good things and I wanted to ask an expert opinion."

He pointed.  "See the guy in the blue flannel.  Him."

"Thank you."  Xander walked back there, smiling at the guys.  "Hi, I needed to ask an expert opinion from a rider about my first bike."

"The outfit's too tight," one guy said with only a glance at him. "Doesn't bring out your eyes either."

"I look hot in other ways.  You ride the pretty blue one with the crackle finish?"  He looked up and nodded, not taking his pool shot.  "How does it do on long drives?  I have to do a lot of traveling for work."  He pulled a stool over and sat.  "Does it handle well at higher speeds, like above highway speeds?  Is it going to be worth it to buy one?"

He took his pool shot then looked at the kid again.  "For longer rides like you're thinking, it might get uncomfortable to be that bent over for so long.  How many miles are you talking a month?"

"We used to go about six hundred a month," Sam said.  "If not over twelve hundred some months.  Xander works in the family business with us.  We're delivery couriers."

The guy nodded. "Then a racing bike handles well enough for the quick trips but highway trips you're going to be bent over for a very long time.  Also, no luggage room.  Now, touring bikes are made for that."

"Yeah but they're heavy.  I'd rather have something light that I can get on and go without prepping the windshield and all that.  I have an iPod for music."

That got a nod.  "Then what about a classic roadster?"

Xander considered it.  "Would it stand up to it?"

"Yeah, a few of the regular harleys are great on road trips," another guy said.  "I have a racing bike for in town and a BMW touring bike for road trips to bike conventions.  My brother rides a Sportster and he likes it a lot for traveling.  Solid but not too heavy.  Still get the freedom of the road without all the safety features.  Touring bikes can be like mini cars some days."  Xander nodded at that.  "I think you'd look good on a harley."

Xander grinned.  "Thank you, guys.  You've been a great help.  Oh, eight off the nine to bank the shot."  He grinned and walked out with Sam following him.  He found a nearby bike shop and went to browse models.

"Xander, you can't make out with him on the bike," Sam complained.

"If girls can do it on a horse I can do it on a bike."  He looked at him. "Besides, the car is too crowded with all of us."

Sam nodded that was true.  It was awkward having all three of them in the Impala.  Dean stomped in and he waved.  "The nice bikers told him what models to look at."

Dean looked at Xander in the leather then shook his head.  "Hell no.  You can't hunt with us if you're on a bike, Xander.  We can't talk to you."

"Radios," he said.

"No!"  He walked him off, taking him outside.  "No.  It's safer if we stick together."

"D'Hoffryn is making the evil bastards work for the light."

"I don't care!"  He frowned.  "Huh?"  Xander grinned.  "How?" he asked patiently.

"They were selling the parts they collected as fees."

"That's going to be messy, huh?"

"No."  He smirked at Sam then back at Dean. "You two need to ride together, Dean.  I can always meet you places, stay in the same room, all of that."

"No.  It'll break the team up, Xander."

"What about for when he has to be on his own?" Sam asked.  "There's times you have to split up."

Xander pointed. "See?"

"No."  Dean walked him off, taking him back to the motel.  "It's not good for the partnership.  Dad and I had troubles coordinating because he was in the truck and I was in the car.   It doesn't work that well for me."  He shoved Xander into the room and closed the door in Sam's face, looking his lover over.  "If you were going for hot, I'd have gotten chocolate brown."

"Theirs was cow brown or shit brown.  I didn't like either one.  This way I kinda match your eyes."

Dean smirked. "I noticed that.  I look great against you.  You look like a rent boy.  Again.  Is it something about being in Vegas?"

Xander smirked. "The bikers thought it was a bit tight.  You don't think I should?"

"I think it'd be a pain, Xander.  Anywhere you store it would mean traveling to get to it when you needed it."  Xander nodded, sitting down, his thighs spread a bit.  "Too tight?"

"No, airing out my balls.  Leather's hot in the desert."

"Duh."

"Guess I'll have to take it off."  He unzipped the top and threw the jacket onto the room's small table, getting a very interested look from his lover.  The bag went next.  Then the snap was opened.  Dean was staring now.  Xander was hard and it hurt in these pants so he released the zipper slowly, showing off his pubic fur.  Dean growled.  He turned and bent over to undo his boots and kick them off.  Dean pounced him onto the bed, getting the pants off him.  "Didn't like it after all?"

"You went out without underwear.  Anyone could've tried to get what's mine, Xander."

Xander grinned.  "They didn't."

"I don't care.  Still too naughty."

"We sent a picture to Dad."

Dean snickered.  "Maybe he'll come out of hiding to paddle you."  He kissed him, leaning down to deal with his lover's energy.  He needed to wear some of it out before he ended up in the ER from exhaustion too.  Someone knocked.  "Go away, Sammy!  I'm busy and you're interrupting!"

"See you in a few hours at Circus Circus, guys."  He hurried off.

Xander smirked.  "Good.  No more little brother watching.  I felt like a living sex ed session."

Dean laughed, bending down to kiss him.  "I taught him that too."  He took another kiss then moved down.  Xander was going to be debauched by the time they met up with Sammy again.  Even if he did have to invest in sex toys and handcuffs.

***

John Winchester pulled his truck off the side of the road to look at the new message his son had sent him.  What he saw made him moan in misery.  The followup message made him happier.  It said Xander hadn't been turned, but he was looking at motorcycles.  The last one that had just come in said that Xander had taken Dean to the ER for the thrown back and chest pains he was having from their bout of sex and Sam promised they'd be fine.   He called his son's phone to leave a message.  "Wear Xander out more often, Dean.  Otherwise he stockpiles it and you end up in the ER.  Take the leather away, make Sammy wear it.  He might look good and Buffy wants to cuddle him.  Tell Xander his spot is in your front seat and not on some hog.  Be safe and careful, boys."  He hung up, shaking his head.  A helpful cop pulled up beside him so he went back to the picture. "My son-in-law."

The cop laughed.  "Being naughty?"

"The reason my son's in the ER," he said.  "Chest pains."

The cop laughed.  "That's fine.  Might wanna turn on your blinkers, sir."  He got back into his car and headed off again.

John shook his head.  Poor Dean's sanity.  He hadn't played with Xander enough and he was in a playful mood.  Dean would have to resort to kinky stuff like handcuffs and traumatize poor Sammy.  Who had probably never thought about more than the backseat of a car being kinky in the past, like he had.  Xander could be a bit worldly in sex stuff since Anya had tutored him.

***

Angel looked up as Gunn walked into his office.  "What was it?"

"Not English.  I got him at home finally.  I'm thinking it might be some alternate universe Wes.  I sent Fred to help him just in case it's going to come down to science stuff."  That got a nod.  "Other bad news."  Angel moaned and dropped his pen.  "Xander went *off* on Wolfram and Hart in Las Vegas.  Found them selling demon parts that they were taking as fees and released it on their board.  Including a vengeance demon from what I heard.  He excluded you and the board here, but he wished that they would work for the light instead."  Angel whimpered.  "Then he went off wearing some tight ass leather bodysuit that made my contact cry and want to toss off as English says."

Angel looked up at him.  "The one thing I learned back in Sunnydale was not to piss Harris off.  He's slightly insane, creative, a bad enough geek to come up with some really bad ideas, and more than willing to pay you back when you upset him."

"They tried to have him be the blood to open the Seal."

"He's not a minion of evil."

"I know that, you know that, they don't.  He passed on the message through Fred's email that if it wasn't the Seal it was our next one he'd be sacrificed for."  Angel nodded, looking tired all of a sudden.  "So he's fixed that hopefully.  How did he get major money?"

"When he freed Rayne from the military he had a book that contained a piece of Janus' essence.  He had him help him make a wish on it for freeing him."

"Money to hide himself from all the demons and watchers?"  Angel nodded.  "Then why is he hunting?"

"Because he realized people die when he doesn't," Angel admitted.  "The same reason you do, Gunn."  He nodded, leaving it there.  "Leather bodysuit?"

"Like the biker kids wear for racing bikes.  Two piece, with boots."

Angel shuddered.  "I don't need that mental image."

"In dark green."

"Even worse.  Go away before you bring me really horrible news."  Gunn walked off laughing.  Angel put his head down.  The very thought of Xander in leather like that brought up the thought of him being a vampire.  Fortunately Cordelia had told him all about the wish verse one night while she was drunk after failing an audition due to the demon of the week.  He would not be turning Xander.  Ever.  No one else would be either if he had his way.

***

Dean looked at Xander a few days later when they finally got some more time alone.  "What's wrong?"

Xander frowned.  "Were you possessed?  That's usually my line."

"No, but you haven't been talking."

"Apparently I bother Sam with it.  He asked me if I never quit talking."

"Sammy can get over his ass."  Xander looked at him.  "He can.  He's my brother and  you two are both being annoying at the moment."

Xander scowled.  "He's shocked and I'm trying to hold on."

"I can tell."  He looked at his boyfriend then shrugged.  "Want me to smack him around?"

"No, I think we need to do something slightly different.  The car's too crowded for the three of us, Dean."

"I know the back seat's not comfortable...." he started quietly.

Sam bounced over to their table.  "Food's ready."  Xander started to get up but Dean stood up and went to help carry the trays.  Sam glanced at Xander then at his brother.  "Everything okay?"

"It's a bit cramped in the car for privacy," Dean said dryly.

"Oh."

"We'll figure it out, Sammy."  He carried the food back, letting Xander have his.  "I still don't like the idea of you getting your own."

Xander looked at him.  "It'd be easier in case we had to break up to hunt, Dean."

He shrugged.  "Still a pain in the ass to call whenever I pull off."

"Unless it's an emergency, why would you?"

"Dad made us," Sam told him.

"He didn't when I was still driving my heap."

"He's paranoid about Dean getting lost again," Sam said with a smirk for his brother.

"I didn't get lost, I knew where I was going.  I was going to look at the topless beach."  He dug into his lunch, waving his fork at Xander, who dug in too.  It had been Xander's choice to have Chinese.  It wasn't too bad.  Huge servings.  A bit spicy.  Something other than burgers.  Why Xander had gotten turkey lo mein he wasn't sure.  "Turkey?"

"Something other than beef and chicken."  He ate a bite.  "I need some variety in my diet or else Willow will come yell.  Again."

"As long as she makes more cookies," Dean said.  "I can withstand some yelling."  He looked at Sam then at his boyfriend again.  "Any word?"

"Not a lot.  I passed back what I heard and Giles walked off muttering to look up what he meant.  I'm waiting to hear if they need me or us."  He ate another bite.

"How bad can it be?" Sam asked.  Xander stared at him.  "Not to jinx it but overall?"

"They blew up the headquarters of the people who could stop them, Sam.  There's a lot less of them than there should be."  He shuddered.  "They're looking at a major battle.  The last one was graduation and I led that one."

"Maybe Dad's there," Dean muttered.

Xander shrugged.  "No idea.  I asked, they haven't seen him yet either.  Willow's looking but she hasn't found him."  He ate another bite, thinking about it.  He texted Buffy the world 'update'.  He got back a two-message update and nodded.  "Giles found what he needs with the seven slayers comment.  Now he's working on the weapon.  Apparently someone showed up with a lot of stuff magically."  He looked down as another message showed up.  "They're there.  They think they have it."  He typed back another one.  She sent back a no.  "She says they won't need us.  They have enough of the girls and they're starting a bigger plan."  That got a nod from Dean.  He looked at him.  "Do we want to stay on this coast, just in case?"

"Unless we're in the town, would we be able to get there in time?" Sam asked.

Xander looked at him.  "It rarely takes less than a half hour and there's a bunch of ghosts we can deal with outside town."   He looked at Dean.  "You wanted to look at the family home the last time."

"Did it while you were gone in LA."  Xander nodded at that.  "Buffy thought it was odd but she helped and went 'fire pretty'."

"She had flashbacks to the neanderthal beer?"

"Neanderthal beer?" Sam mouthed.

Xander grinned.  "I was bartending at this little pub like bar in Sunnydale by the college.  A bunch of the frat boys had been coming in.  Buffy and her boyfriend of the moment who only wanted in her panties too.  The owner hated the frat boys so he had his brother-in-law mix him up some herbs that brought them back to that fun point.  Brow ridge included."  He smirked then ate another bite.  "She still managed to do pretty good.  Even if she did nearly get burnt alive going 'fire pretty'."

Dean shook his head quickly.  "We stopped the guy?"

"That's where the fire was. Though I did find out what he used."  He smirked and went back to his lunch.  He looked at his phone when it rang, frowning.  He called.  "What do you mean my father was killed?"  He listened.  Then he nodded.  "Well, I guess they wanted to be drunk then.  Any other cheery news?"  He nodded.  "I can."  He listened to Willow tell him not to come back.  "We'll figure that out later.  Hand Buffy back the phone?"  She hung up.  He called Buffy's cellphone again.  Willow hung up again.  So he called Anya's cellphone.  "You at the Magic Box?  Hand Buffy the phone.  Without handing it to Willow."  She did that.  "So, what do we need me to plan?  And Riley's *so* going to be of bigger help since half his team was eaten and now he's a Fed?" he countered.  She made whining noises.  "He got sucked into Homeland, Buffy.  What do we need me to plan?"  He listened while she went over the current ideas.  "Buffy, you can't draw them out without it being a worse fight," he said gently.  She groaned.

"I'm sorry.  If you need to do it that way, then you have to do it there unless you plan on moving furniture in the middle of a battle?"  He nodded. "How many are we looking at?"  He winced.  "I can be back there tonight if you need me to, Buffy.  Not like I wasn't at the last one," he said dryly when she protested he wasn't going to be needed.  He nodded at her advice.  "Fine, I'll do that.  Where are we falling back to?"  He nodded.  "I can at least head that way.  Have you talked to his crew since you won't let me be there?"  He smirked.  "Thought so.  Yeah.  I can help, Buffy.  Still.  Really."  She said something and he glared at the phone then put it back against his ear.  "I won't dignify that with an answer over the phone since we're in public at the moment," he said coolly.   "Because not like you did it last time, Buffy.  No, I led that battle.  You distracted.  Ask Giles and Willow if you don't remember."  She said something else then hung up.  He put his phone back, trying to stay calm.

"Same shit, different day?" Dean asked.  Xander nodded, making himself eat.  "What's going on?"

"They don't even want me closer because I'm too normal for this one and how would I know what battles are like since I only *led* the last one," he said coldly.

Dean stared him down.  "You did a great job and you kept a lot of people from dying," he said quietly.  Xander slumped but nodded.  "She's trying to spare you from being hurt or killed."

"She said they've got a huge force and no one's sure how many.  She had a plan to grab the thing they have to bleed onto and move it outside the hole, then do it.  In the middle of a battle."

"They need sense," Sam said.

"Which means they've got to go into the hole?" Dean asked.  Xander nodded, still trying to make himself eat.  "Calm down.  We'll help where we can, Xander."

Xander looked at him.  "I know.  I don't know why the switch was flipped again.  Then she mentioned her ex, Riley.  Initiative boy.   He's in Homeland now so he won't be of much help."

Dean nodded.  "If they're going to have to go in there, they won't need a plan, Xander.  They'll need more hands, but they won't need more than a 'we go in this way, do it if we survive, then run like hell' plan."  He nodded, slumping some.  "The fact that they're keeping you from being one of the hands they need I'll take up with them later."

Xander nodded, going back to eating.  "It's going to be over a month."

"Then we'll handle it," Dean reminded him.  "And maybe get Dad that way.  He'd hate it if the world ended and she could use a good, swift kick."  Xander nodded.  "Giles?"

"Not in today."  He ate another bite.  "Willow was adamant I wasn't skilled enough for this."

"Willow needs her ass busted again," Dean said.  Xander nodded, relaxing further so he wasn't eating automatically.  Dean stole a bite of his turkey, nodding.  "Not bad with the sauce."  Xander grinned at that, eating more and getting up to get some more wontons.  He texted the new ID he had for his father, letting him know that he needed to move that way too.  Then he dug back in when Xander came back.  "I texted Dad."

"Maybe she'll listen to him since she's not listening to me or Giles."  He nibbled, looking at Sam.  "Yes, this is an ongoing problem.  This is why I left.  After four years, two of them like that."  He ate another fried bit of wonton after dipping it in the duck sauce.  Dean smirked and stole a few.  "Sure, I share."  He ate another bite.  "That leaves our primary problem and any secondary cases.  Did they send anything?"

"Willow did.  She found Meg," Sam said.  "A bit more information too."

Xander looked at Dean.  "I'm wondering if we can find something like I did in Vegas."

Dean frowned.  "The leather catsuit?"

"No, that's in my weapons bag.  The bits and pieces thing."  He stared at him. "If so we can use it to summon or trap him."

"That's going to take buttloads of magic," Sam said.

"Willow's not the only practicing one," Dean told him.  "We've run to a few of them for help when she was going bad."  He stared at Xander.  "Do you think you know of one?"

"Don't know.  I can have Angel ask around for me."

"That could help.  I'd like a fuller plan," he admitted.  Xander nodded.  "We need to sure the gun will kill it."

Xander looked at him.  "It should."  He finished up his wontons and leaned on the table.  "There's six or seven things I think could if it won't.  Or hey, I can be totally impractical and want to lead him out there so the First can smack him around for being a poor minion."

"I doubt they need that stress," Dean said.  "Besides, he might hate her coming up and...."  He stared at Xander.  "The enemy of my enemy is my friend?"

"It often takes longer than a year to plan an apocalypse.  I figure that the ones with their own ideas are really pissed at the ones who're ruining them by trying to get there first.  I'd be really pissed if I wanted to take over the world and someone got there first, ruining all my hard work.  I mean, the mayor took a century to plan his and get there."

Dean nodded slowly.  "Which could be a help to her."

"If Angel thinks of it," Xander agreed.  Dean smirked, calling him.  "So, Sam."  He grinned.  "If I have to go, watch the idiot there for me please?"

"I can do that.  Do you think you'll need to?"

Xander nodded.  "Yeah.  I think they've got eighteen girls at the moment.  Partially trained at best, Dawn said whiny, girls."  Dean shuddered. "And Spike."  That got another shudder from Dean.  "So yeah, I think they'll need help."

Dean hung up.  "Could be.  Angel said there's a few others who would lend their minions to help stop the First.  He said you were right, they'd hate having their plans crushed by it."  He stared at Xander.  "It'll be fine, Xander."

"It won't be fine.  They're pulling a major battle."

"They've done it before we were born.  They'll do it again after we're born.  We're cogs in this system, not a wheel ourselves."

"Some cogs are still more important.  As shown by Buffy wanting to move furniture during the battle."

"True," he admitted.  "If they need you to plan, they'll call or send for you."  Xander nodded.  "Make sure you paid your phone bill."

"Did in advance last month.  Yours too."  Dean smiled.  "Where are we heading?"

"We were heading toward the east coast," he admitted.  "Do we want to stop in Chicago?  See if we can deal with this Meg person?"

Xander sighed, leaning on the table again.  "I'm not so sure that won't cause more problems."  He tapped the laptop in front of Sam, getting a nod.  "I want more intel before we take her on.  If she wants us before then, make her come to us."

"That could backfire," Dean warned.

Xander nodded.  "True.  Then again I've been hearing rumors that she doesn't want to kill any of us.  Especially not Sammy."  Dean gave Sam an odd look, getting a shrug back.  "The only one I've made contact with that way says that she wants Sam, but we're good leverage at the moment."

"So we may be expendable but Sammy isn't," Dean said thoughtfully.  Xander nodded.  "Huh."  He looked at Sammy again. "Why want you?"

"I have no idea."

"Me either.  I haven't heard a reason."  He frowned.  Then up the hall.  "Hey, guys, how many insomniac vampires are in the world?"  They looked at the vampire up and wandering around the middle of the mall.  It was clear she was, she still had dirt on her.  Ancient clothes. Xander stared.  "She could be alive.  She's breathing," he said quietly.

"See if she hits on you," Dean told him.  "Then we'd be sure she was evil."  Xander gave him a dirty look.  "We would."  The vampire wandered past them, dropping something onto their table.  He looked at it.  "Aww, someone sent an engraved invitation, Xander."

Xander took it to open, frowning at it.  "Yeah, to a talk."  Dean took it back and Sam took it from him.  "We can do that."  He stood up.  "Let me go clean up to get presentable."  He went to the bathroom, then followed the dirt trail back up the mall, finding a 'goth playground' place.  He walked into the store and looked around.  "Hmm, local ones don't wear leather?" he asked the guy behind the counter.

"Not usually.  Too stinky if you don't clean it often enough.  Yours?"

"Too often.  That's how we tell."  That got a nod.  "I got an invitation?"  The guy pointed. "Thank you."  He walked back there, finding someone sitting at a table.  "This your Madam Zorka act?" he asked dryly.

She stared at him.  "Smartass knight."

"Very."  He sat down when she pointed at the chair.  "Why was I invited?"

"Those here wanted to talk to one about changing over."

"Then I'd have to hunt them."

"They don't plan on being hunted."

"None of them do."  She frowned.  "As for knowing a few Master vampires?  I do.  One's in LA working as a PI.  The other's helping with an emergency at the moment."  She nodded.  "If they wanted it that badly, go see Angel.  Give him the truth and let him talk them out of a lifetime of death."  One woman came screaming out of the back with a stake so he disarmed her then sat back down, looking at the supposed fortune teller.  "It'd be easier and kinder on the world if you playacted.  Fewer people die that way.  Including the hunters when some of us run into you."

She nodded. "I'll let them know that you said that."  He nodded, standing up.  "Is there any service we can do for you?"

"Know anything about the demon after Sam?"

"Meg?  A bit.  She searches.  She will not bother keeping you two to overpower him."

He nodded. "Figured that out.  She's actively searching?"

"Her plans come soon, Knight."

"Thank you."  He walked out, heading out to the car.  Which wasn't there.  He glared and looked around then pulled out his watch.  He had a chip on the car and a GPS reading for it.  He loved multifunction watches.  He needed to put one of these on Buffy.  He found it nearby and frowned.  It wasn't moving.  He walked off shaking his head.  He headed for the bus station.  Maybe he should head back to Sunnydale?  It was a good sign Dean and Sam could handle it without him.  He heard the car drive up beside him.  "Made yourself plain, Dean."

"Get in the damn car, Xander."  Xander stopped to look at him.  "Now.  We fell back to see if you needed help."

"It was kids who wanted to find a master to turn them."

"Figured that much since it was in the mall.  Get in."  Sam was in the back so Xander walked around and got into the passenger's seat.  "Thank you.  Stubborn asshole."

Xander looked at him.  "Should I even mention ...."

Dean covered his mouth.  "Don't."  He removed the hand and they were off again.  "Get anything?"

"Meg's actively searching.  She's got plans that include overpowering Sammy and killing us once she's made him meek."

"Figured that much.  Searching?"  Xander nodded.  "So she's got a plan."

"We still don't know a lot about how and what she can do," Xander reminded him.

"So?  We'll figure it out when we see the wench."  He turned onto the interstate.

"Um, Dean, we never packed the room," Xander said dryly.

"We did," Sam said.

"His other bag's still back there, Sam.  I still have a key."

"Oooh."  He watched as Dean used one of the turnarounds in the median to get them back to the motel so they could check out.   Sure enough, Dean's bag was on the bed and Xander's stuff took a few minutes to gather.  Then Xander got his usual spot in the backseat again.  That was too cramped for Sam's body.  The front was but the back was worse since Dean had the seat pushed back.  Dean gave him an odd look. "Keeping down highway sex," he said dryly.

"We haven't done that since the traffic cop caught us because he was weaving," Xander quipped.  "Dad was not amused."

Sam looked at him.  "He knew?"

"Yeah, that was right before he disappeared."

Sam shuddered.  "I'm sure he yelled."

"No, he nearly took my head off," Dean told him, "but otherwise he said 'young men are stupid' as he walked off."

Sam looked at Xander.  "Did you break Dad?"

"Maybe," he admitted.  "If not, Willow might've."  Dean snickered.  "She could have."

"Could," he agreed.  He turned up the radio as they pulled back onto the highway.  "Chicago here we come."

"Pity the poor city," Xander agreed.  "But hey, the tv show said they have mounties."

"Slap him, Sammy."  Sammy swatted Xander for him.

***

Xander watched Sam and Dean dance around each other while arguing about who got what job this time.  He was very tired of this.  Sam joining their team had changed everything and Xander wasn't about to hold Dean back from his family.  After three weeks of this, he was so tired.  So when he snapped, he snapped large. "Oh, just have sex and quit!" he yelled.  They both stared at him, giving him horrified looks. "It's pretty clear to the rest of us."

"Xander," Dean said, moving closer.  "This isn't...."

Xander held up a hand to stop him.  "I had to watch Buffy and Angel do the same dance, Dean.  It is.  It kinda sucks and it is."  He grabbed his stuff and left, taking the bag from the car on his way.  He also took the weapons he had bought, plus a few special bullets he had been working on.  He could hear Dean yelling at Sam and sighed, heading off into the night.  The bus station had lockers and he had the money for a ticket wherever.  He called Sunnydale first.  "It's me.  Do you need me, Giles?  Because the last time I talked to Buffy she was planning on moving furniture during the battle."  He listened to the problems he had going on out there.  "Where do you need me?  Because Dean's being a bitch, Giles.  Where?"  He nodded.  "I can do that.  How close?  What sort of building?  Any necessities that have to show up?  Thank you."  He hung up and hid the guns for a minute then went in to get his bus ticket.  The bags went into a locker.  "Gotta get food and reading material," he said at the odd look the attendant gave him.  He left, picking up the gun and bullets, heading to the cemetery they needed to dig up tonight.  Those two were too busy playing verbal footsie to get on with the job.  He'd let it be his going away present.

He found the right grave and looked around as he put on the silencer he had developed for his shotgun, then fired rocksalt rounds into the coffin.  A higher water table meant that the old style, without a crypt around it, coffin was close enough and he had picked a rifle with a very strong thrust.  After five rock salt rounds down the length of the coffin he attached wires into another shell and carefully loaded it so the wires wouldn't catch.  It would really suck if it did.  He fired that one, hitching the end of the wires to the switch in his jacket pocket.  The thermite bullet shattered as it went off, lighting the salted corpse.  He looked then smiled and walked off, gun being broken down into the component parts with a new bag he bought for carry on material.  Food, books, gun.  Knife.  As long as no one checked he'd be fine.  And hey, now they could get on with the fun sex stuff as Anya called it.  The bus to Cleveland got there about a half hour after he returned, letting him pay the extra for his extra bag.  The driver grimaced at the weight.  "Sorry, I'm moving.  It's a family heirloom."  That got a nod and it was more carefully put under the bus, in a corner so nothing could hit it.  Not that it'd dent his battle axe or the money....

***

Xander looked around the building the realtor had found, nodding.  "This'll do.  It's dirty but it'll work."  He looked at her.  "You've talked to Rupert?"  She nodded, letting him sign the papers.  "How long?"

"It's been empty for a long time.  Do you want a structural analysis done or an appraisal?"

"I worked construction," he said with a grin.  "I already know what needs to be done and the few back-of-the-lot buildings that aren't safe are going to probably be torn down and rebuilt anyway."  She nodded, understanding that.  "But for now, we're moving a few of the younger students this way to help so they learn good life skills.  They'll be here in about six days."

"I can rush it through.  When you called before you got into town I pulled up everything I needed."  She hugged the folder of paperwork to her chest. "I didn't think LA was that dangerous."

"We're from right outside LA, right near where that mini earthquake hit yesterday.  It made us all a bit too nervous."  She nodded, understanding that.  He wasn't sure why the hellmouth was causing mini earthquakes but it had helped clear the town out faster.  "With the way things have been we were planning on a slower move but that made it a bit more necessary.  Some of the buildings were damaged."

"I understand.  Let's go back to my office and we'll see what I can do to expedite it."  She led him back to her car, smiling at the nice sale.  No one wanted this old, haunted property.  It was huge, falling in in some spots, and it was going to take a lot of money to make it liveable.  Then again, a private school did have those funds.  She was sure it'd be a beautiful campus within a year.  This one looked very motivated.

***

John walked into the place Xander had found, looking around.  "This needs some paint and spackle."

Xander walked out of a classroom. "It's haunted too.  It's a former private school.  The dorms are off behind us and to the left, around the hedges."  He looked at the sixteen younger slayers that had made it to Sunnydale.  Giles had said he was evacuating everyone under fifteen and anyone who could not fight very well.  "How many did she keep?"

"Twelve."  He looked at the girls.  "This is Xander.  He used to fight with Buffy until she smarted off too many times and he left to hunt with my son Dean."  They nodded, waved, or acknowledged he existed.  "Where to first?"

"I've got one room cleaned on the second floor.  We can use that for daily lessons.  The dorms I'm working on.  Let's go, girls."  He walked them through the school.  "For right now, the second floor is up this staircase," he ordered, pointing at it.  They all nodded.  "The third room down on the right is cleaned up and we'll use it for meetings, classes, that stuff.  We'll be working on the rest soon enough."  He led them outside.  "As you can see, someone impractical planned this former all girls' private school."  A few laughed.  "But it gives us room to expand and fix things."  He led them down the overgrown path to the dorms.  "The one on the left is more structurally sound.  None of it is clean yet.  Let's start there and then we'll pick rooms?"  That got a groan.  "Tough.  We need things set up at a minimum level before the rest of everyone comes from LA.  That's their fall back, right?" he asked John, who nodded.  "Good.  Let's look, girls."  He let them into the dorm, letting them look at the large common room and then the individual, formerly double rooms.  "Pick one and clean it.  I've got mops and things in the other building."  He went to get them, leaving John to make sure everyone got their own room for now.  If more girls came they could double up or whatever.

John watched Xander fuss over the cleaning stuff, frowning at him.  "What happened?"

"The Sammy and Dean show overrode me and Dean hunting together," he said, giving him a look.  "So I gave them the truth.  There's a reason everyone thinks they're actually together and they should just do it to get it over with."  He handed him a bucket.  "Water should be on.  The water company was out today. The other building has a leak so the water is off over there totally."  He went to get his own bucket and add cleaning fluid to it.  One of the girls came out to get it.  "Just think, if we can keep the single rooms, you girls get first pick for doing all the nasty work and not getting slimed in the hellmouth."  She smiled but went back to her cleaning.  Xander left to clean in the main building.  Yeah, it'd need work but they could deal with it for now.  The broken chairs got tossed out a window on the left side of the building.  They could recycle them into stakes or trash them later.  Whatever Giles decided.  Xander got to work on the rest of everything, finding a few rooms locked.  He wasn't going to wonder why yet.  He'd wonder why later.  He got another classroom cleared and hiked the working seats to the one they'd be using for daily classes and other lectures.  Then he moved on.  There was a lot of work to do.

***

John did a bed check and found Xander collapsed on a couch.  He gave him a nudge.  "Go to bed, Xander."

"This is my bed while we have the ghosts I haven't been able to find the reason for."

"How haunted is this place?"

"I've seen almost a full classroom of ghosts."  He looked at him.  "I'm still looking for the reason.  There weren't any deaths here."

"So someone's holding or summoning the ghost here?  Could it be the hellmouth?"  Xander shook his head.  "You're sure?"

"It's five miles away to the north.  The local city put a small pavilion and outhouse overtop of it."  John laughed.  "So it's not that.  I have all the records and I've gone over them.  Not even a suspicious, unsolved disappearance."

"What was this place?"

"A very exclusive, private, Protestant girls' school."

"So we're halfway to the original use," he decided.  "We'll see what we can find.  What's your schedule for tomorrow?"

"Setting patrols, training times, all that."

John nodded.  "That'll work.  They can learn like you did for a few days.  Are we showing a buildup?"

"Not yet.  Which is why it's safer if one of us takes a few of the girls out each night."

"I can see that.  It'll be a little over a week before the others get here."

"Good."  He yawned and closed his eyes.  "See you in the morning."

"There's bedrooms."

"I'm not getting attached."

"Fine."  He went to his own borrowed room to think about what had happened.  He decided to call his son.  "I want your side of it."  Dean hung up on him.  He looked at his phone.  He'd give him a day and try again when he wasn't in a snit.

***

Xander looked at the girls.  "Okay, we're setting patrol and cleaning schedules so we don't all work like dogs.  We'll let you set your own, within reason.  The way I figure it, we'll have a few days of patrol and you'll get an afternoon cleaning shift, or you'll have an all day cleaning shift but no patrol that night."

"That won't work," John said from his corner seat.  "You'll end up having a night of patrol after an all day of cleaning."

"I was thinking a day off in there.  Three and three?"  John nodded.  So Xander wrote it on the chalkboard.  "Okay, fix it yourself.  You can arrange the three days together, use the day off to break the pattern so you can adjust your sleep schedule.  As long as we have at least two of you on shift every night it'll be fine.  We don't expect much to happen since this is still a new hellmouth and it's slowly growing in power.  There's not many vamps here or anything like that but we can start teaching you the early patrol rituals now and save some wear and tear on Giles later.  We'll be alternating nights ourselves so we don't get burnt out either."

"At least until someone more official gets here," John added.  "For now, figure out how you want to do things.  Xander and I will be checking out the rest of this hallway."  They nodded.  "If you're good, we'll get ice cream for dessert."  They smiled and looked at their chosen schedules, working it out between them.  He walked Xander across the hall, looking at the silvery wall behind the classroom's door. "What is that?"

"I'm thinking it's like an energy field.  Maybe like a quantum mirror."  He shrugged.  "I haven't been able to get around them yet.  Most of the rooms are locked."  He led them up the hall to one he had been looking at.  "Help me with this one?  I think it's on some sort of screen."  They looked and lowered the projection screen, finding a classroom full of ghosts.  The teacher floated out to glare at them. "Ma'am, Watchers Council.   We're taking over this school," he said quietly.  John closed the door.  "You do know that you've passed on a long time ago?"

"Of course."  She looked at John then at him.  "I can feel new students."

"Slayers, ma'am."  She grimaced.  "Do you know what's keeping you here?" John asked her.

"There's a man who comes around to check on us," she told him.

"Would you know anything about who he was?" John asked. "Or where his remains are?"

She nodded. "They're by the boiler room somewhere. I think he's keeping us here."

"Then we'll arrange for his burial," Xander assured her.  "Do we need to worry about the students in there with you?"

She smirked.  "No, he called us back."

"Then we'll handle it," John assured her.  "Thank you, ma'am.  Was he the one who put up the screens?"  She nodded and floated back into her classroom, appearing normal to them.  "Boiler room?"

"Basement."  He looked in on the girls, who were staring outside.  "Beast?" he asked, coming over to look.  "Buffy's demon dog survived."  John groaned, walking off shaking his head.  "I'm sure they'll be here soon, girls.  Let's finish up so we can work on clearing the spirits here."  They nodded, hading him the schedule.  "We only have one on Wednesday."  He looked at them.  "Anyone on the Sunday schedule want to change over?"  One girl sighed but raised her hand.  "Thank you."  He adjusted hers over by a few days and let her see it, getting a nod.  "Good.  Print your names please."  They did that.  "Good.  Let's follow John.  We're going to learn how to salt and burn a corpse to banish the ghost today."  They walked out to follow him downstairs.  It was going to be a long week.

John found the remains and nodded.  "We can do this.  Let's get him outside."

Xander looked back at him when John stared his way.  "What?  The last one I did I shot rock salt shells into then a thermite shell that I set off."

John blinked, frowning some.  "Vault around the coffin?"

"Nope.  Older one too."

"Huh.  I'll have to see if that worked."

"Must have, Sammy didn't say anything about it not working before they moved on."

"Hmm."  He looked at the remains.  "Got a tarp?"  He nodded, getting it for him.  "Let's pick him a good spot to be buried in," he ordered the girls.

"Don't they make funeral homes for that?" one girl demanded, looking sickened.

"Yes, but yay," John said.  "He's the one that's holding all the ghosts here, Tiff."  Why her mother had been so cruel as to name her that he wasn't sure but she was argumentative. "The way to banish ghosts is to find what's holding them, salt the remains with rock salt, then burn them until they're ashes.  If they're cremated you burn whatever's holding them here.  It releases the ghost.  Most funeral homes won't do that."

Xander skipped back down the stairs.  "One will.  Caufield's.  One of the guys on staff called and asked if it had been a problem that brought me.   His uncle's a hunter and he knows."

"Want to leave this to them?" Tiff asked hopefully.

Xander stared at her then laughed.  "You think this is gross?  Oh, honey, please!  We've been slimed so many times on patrol it's not funny.  You have a whole *lifetime* of nasty laundry ahead of you, dear.  Slime and mucus and blood and demon goo and ichor and parts and flesh and ...."  She ran to be sick.  "Good.  Get used to it.  Welcome to the wonderful world of being a slayer.  Ask Joyce, she can get demon stuff out of nearly anything.  She can tell you how."  He spread out the tarp next to the body, letting John move it with a shovel.  "Okay, let's honor guard it outside, ladies.  Do we know his name?"

John looked at the outfit, finding the wallet in the guy's back pocket. "Do now."  He showed him.

Xander looked.  "The last headmaster.  He tried to revive the school about a decade back."  That got a nod.  "We can plant him by the willow if you want."

"Water's close by it," John said.

"Exactly.  In case any of the girls go cave slayer and 'fire pretty' starts to be chanted."

John nodded. "That'll work for me then."  They and the girls carried the body out, John stopping to get supplies.  "Thermite?"

"Burns at over two thousand degrees," Xander told him.  "It will burn bones."

John nodded.  "Gas is nice and cheap."

"I can make thermite and I can do it for sixty bucks a gallon barrel.  Then you need to light it."

"Hmm.   We'll have to test."  They found a pretty spot and let the girls dig for a few minutes, Xander stepping in when they got tired and John stepping in when Xander got tired.  "Not been keeping up?" he asked the boy dryly.

"I didn't see you hauling the stuff I had Gunn move out of Sunnydale," he shot back.  John stared at him.  He smirked back.  "I wasn't leaving my shit there!  I'd miss my shirts."

"I noticed the ugly thing had come back," he said dryly.  He gave Xander's current shirt a dirty look then finished digging.  "What did you have stored?"

"My stuff.  The rest of the weapons, all Giles' books from the library that he had stored, all that.  Came out on a small semi the day before you got here."

John moaned.  "That's good to know."

"Very."  He looked at the body.  Then at him.  "Want something to pour the ashes into?  Or do you want to simply bury them?"

"Let's simply bury.  Any coffin would be burnt usually too.  I heard about an underground fire in a cemetery that they weren't sure how to put out."  Xander just smirked.  "Nice work."

"Thank you."  They carefully laid the body and tarp in there, then John salted, Xander poured the gas, and the girls all backed away when John lit a piece of paper from his pocket before tossing it down into the mess.  The body went whoosh and the girls all stared.   One sniffled.  Xander looked at them.  "Like the Vikings did, it's sending him on his way to a happier afterlife, we hope.  Only the Powers know for sure."  They nodded, wandering off.  "Those on cleaning detail, start on the kitchen please," he called after them.  "That's behind the common area and down that red hallway."  That got a few nods.  "Those on patrol, go make stakes."  They went to do that with a small sigh of discontent.  He looked at John.  "I can tell you from experience, teach them how to sharpen their knives now.  It'll help."

"I'll do that this afternoon.  Are we cooking?"

"Should.  The electric's on.  The stove and oven are electric.  Slayers eat like a farm full of animals when they've been working hard."

John nodded.  "Then we can do that later."  He handed Xander the shovel, getting a nod he'd bury the body.  Then he went to watch the girls carving stakes, showing them how to do it and then showing them how to sharpen their knives properly.  The girls got into it and it was like when Dean was little again.  Happy memories.

Xander shoveled the dirt back over the body then went to check on the cleaning crew.  They were scrubbing hard so he left them at it after turning on some music.  He had his own cleaning to do.   Including the library.  Because Giles would throw a hissy if his new library was dusty or nasty.  He had at the high school.

***

John did one last round of bed check, nodding at one of the reading girls.  "You'll want to sleep."

"I need to call my mother," she admitted.  "She's a night owl."

He nodded.  "C'mon."  He led her outside, letting her use his phone.   He listened while she babbled and complained about the cleaning stuff but apparently her mother said it was a good thing because she quit after a few minutes and moved onto Xander being cute.  He looked at her.  "He's with Dean, Amara."

"Pity."  She walked a bit further away and went back to talking to her mother without the nosy adult helping.  She was a young teenage girl, she could dream.  When she was done she went back to her room and settled in to sleep.  She had a long day of cleaning tomorrow.

John called Dean's phone again.  Last time he had been hung up on but he had heard the music in the car so he was probably heading somewhere.  "Good, you're not driving this time."  He found a spot against a tree and sat.  "Want to tell me what happened?  He is here.  Giles had him set up the new base camp while I herded the younger girls this way.  Cleveland."  He smiled at the note of where they were.  "We're doing all right so far.  A lot of cleaning.  A former girl's school.  Sixteen girls.  They could use some other mentors but the others are coming at the end of next week.  A lot of cleaning," he said dryly.  "Sammy could help with that I'm sure and make the girls want to clean."  He listened to Dean go outside the motel room to talk in the car.  "So, what happened?"  He listened to him complain.  "In other words, Sammy was uneasy and picked or poked until he drove Xander off?" he asked dryly when Dean ran out of complaints.

"He wasn't able to deal with the fact that Dean had changed," Xander said, coming out to join him.  "I get that.  Sammy's his brother and family has to come before an easy fuck."  He stared at him.  "I'm heading to the all night grocery place since you only got enough for dinner.  Don't worry about staying up."

"Sit, Xander."

"Dad, drop it.  Just...don't.  Please?"  He walked off.

John listened to his son complain.  "I told him he could, Dean.  Why did that bother Sammy?"  He nodded.  "You know what, you bring Sammy to me here.  We'll talk and then we'll referee while you two talk.  Because Xander's moping and I'm sure you're worse than your brother is right now, Deano.  Now, get here.  That's where we are.  Exactly.  Could use the help cleaning anyway."  He hung up and looked up at the stars, then called Giles.  "We need a maid."  He laughed at the complaints Giles gave him.  "Who said it wasn't saved, Giles?  Xander said he heard one of Angel's crew had been moving stuff.

"Well, you'll need a good contractor for a little bit.  The girls have been doing a lot of cleaning and complaining about the cleaning.  There's a few buildings on the back of the campus that need to be ripped down but that'll give you space to add on.  A former girl's school."  He smirked at the happiness that caused.  "Xander chose well, Rupert.  There's enough room for them once you get the second dorm fixed.  There's a good space that Xander said the realtor said had been used for soccer and PE.  The classroom building has been cleared of ghosts and now we're clearing it of magic and the screens with magic that he put up.

"It's a good choice.  Five miles.  It's in a park under a pavilion and outhouse.  He showed me.  We've been taking the girls on gentle patrols around the parks at night just in case things start to build up.  It's easier to teach them now than later.  No, we take turns and the girls made their own schedules at the moment.  Some days cleaning, some days hunting.  We're doing good.  The boys are closer than you are so they'll be setting up with us.  We're good.  We could use a decent-enough witch but I can call Bobby to get one of the ones that helped Xander out here to rebless the building.  Yeah, it's a good choice.  Once it's clean it'll be better.  Been over a decade since it was a school, Giles.  One of the dorms has a plumbing problem.  The basement seeps a bit in places.  Nothing you wouldn't expect since the cornerstone of the school part says it was built in 1938.  Brick.

"It's fine.  I promise, it is.  It'll be good enough and we can build on for speciality buildings, like the firing range.  Giles, you've got to teach them both styles," he said patiently.  "Because this isn't Sunnydale and there are ghosts here.  The school had been haunted.  We got that one banished and it released the other two hundred or so.  Well, I taught lessons on how to sharpen knives," he admitted.  "You'll still need a good armory building and the girls should be taught how to use any and all weapons in case something happens.  Yes, and Dean still shoots at vampires, Giles."  That got a groan from him.  "So we can do this.  What's your ETA?"  He nodded. "Charter a bus, Giles.  Flying's going to be faster but more expensive.  Charter a bus, leave in a few days.  With all the watchers and girls you have, it should be about right to fill one.  Exactly.  No, we're here.

"Get into the city's limits and I'll give you precise directions.  Or to the driver.  Sure.  Grocery shopping.  Because the girls eat like nothing I've ever seen.  Even the boys as teenage bottomless pits.  I noticed they had too much energy but they went through sixteen chickens that we baked, Giles.  Yeah.  They've been working hard though.  I'm proud enough of that. We might only need one maid by the time you get here."  He smirked.  "That's fine.  I'm here.  Xander's around somewhere most of the time.  I can do that in a few.  Have fun taunting Angel.  Xander said it's one of his favorite pastimes."  He hung up and looked at the young girl who was in the shadows watching him.  "Problems, sweetheart?"

"Nightmares," she complained.  She sat down next to him, curling against his side.

"Like the dreams you got that the Turok-Han were coming?"

She shook her head.  "Normal nightmares, Mr. John."

"Just John, sweetheart."  She nodded, falling back asleep against his side.  He'd put her to bed in a few minutes.  He called Bobby.  "Morning."  He looked at his watch.  "Sorry.  Didn't realize.  I was on patrol earlier.  Think you can get one of the witches that helped Xander to come out here and help us for a few in Cleveland.  This is where the hellmouth moved, Bobby.  An old religious school that's got a lot of magic on some projection screens."  He saw Xander's car pull in.  "Yeah, we could use it.  He's here.  Did Dean complain to you?"  He smirked.  "They're having an argument.  Sammy wasn't dealing very well so he poked too many times.  From what I heard, Xander told them to deal with it and do what everyone thinks they're doing then walked out.  Sure, I'm here.  Sixteen so far.  The younger ones I rode herd on to get them here."  He looked at Xander, who was carrying a box.  "Need help?"

"I've got it.  Get her back to bed."  He brought the food into the kitchen and came back out.  "Is that Bobby?"  John nodded so he took the phone.  "I miss having you tell me I'm insane."  The other guy laughed.  "No, stay out of it, Bobby.  Because that's their thing and I'm not going to come between the two brothers.  They guard each other better than we do when we were working together.  They were meant to cover each other.  It'll be fine.  Making the girls clean a lot of stuff.  Sure.  Have a better night."  He handed the phone back and picked up the girl, making her squeal.  "You're loud."  She smiled and snuggled into his arms.  "C'mon, back to bed with you.  It's chilly out here tonight.  Don't want you sick until we find a doc to live with us."  He tucked her back into her bed then went to get the rest of the groceries, which John was helping with.  "I've got it.  You were on patrol, go sleep."

"Not tired yet.  Patrol was walking the giggling girls through the park."

Xander looked at him.  "Feel thankful it's so easy right now.  Pretty soon we'll be bursting their bubbles and it'll get worse when the hellmouth picks up stream."

John nodded.  "I know.  How're we teaching them that?"

"By then I expect Giles to be here.  I'll fall back to the weapons or whatever.  I don't want to be a field watcher."  He went to get another load of groceries for breakfast, John coming back with a handtruck for the boxes the store had been kind enough to pack things in for him.  It made it a lot easier on his back.

***

Giles walked off the bus, looking at the building in front of him.  "It's a beautiful old wreck," he said to Buffy, who nodded.

"I'd hate to be the maid," she said.

John opened the door.  "That's a slayer's job sometimes, Buffy.  Get in here."  She grimaced but walked in.  "Rupert, we've got the one dorm mostly cleaned.  We might need to still clean some rooms.  Your office was cleaned by Xander, so was the library.    We have most of the classrooms cleared now thanks to Marilyn.  It'll take six more days to finish clearing up the random magic the last guy left lying around when he died in the boiler room.  Xander has the girls out in the field for PT doing laps."  He looked at Buffy then at Faith.  "This way.  We can hit the dorms first."  The senior slayers got the girls organized and with their bags.  Giles paid the driver a tip for putting up with the girls and their music issues.  Then he followed.  John pointed at things as he led them.  "Rupert, library is that way.  It's next to the caf in here.  The caf is not cleaned.  Neither is this kitchen.  The dorm one is."

That got a nod from everyone and they kept going.  "Office is on the third floor, Rupert.  Xander's marked a room that can be used easily enough for an elevator.  Also the clinic over here is cleaned to medical and Marilyn's fussy standards, and stocked for minor injuries."  That got a smile from Faith.  "The girls needed it.  One girl was trying to clean the oven while it was on."  Buffy moaned, shaking her head.  "The second floor is still mostly classrooms.  You've got about thirty-eight desks total.  The ones down here still need mopped."  He led them out the back door.  "This is what we're calling the rear yard.  By the willow tree is a small pond.  It defines the edge of the grounds because there's a curve for some unknown reason.  We apparently own all the pond and it's good water.  We buried the remains we found near it after banishing the spirit."  He walked them on.  "The left dorm is open, mostly clean, and the younger girls could use some praise for how well they've done," he announced.

"The right one has a major plumbing issue and Xander hasn't had the time or energy to fix the main water pipe yet.  So no water in there but there's electric and heat if we need to open it."  Giles nodded at that.  "Into the left dorm, ladies."  They walked in.  "Anything that's really clean and has stuff in it has been taken.  They did a lot of the cleaning so they got first pick.  Do NOT try to shove the girls out of their rooms," he told one, glaring at her.  She shrank down.  "Kitchen is past this common room, down the red hallway.  Communal bathroom is that way as well.  Showers on one side, toilets and sinks on the other."  He opened a side door and pointed.  "Go a thousand feet that way past the bushes and you're on the PT field."

Giles looked around.  "The girls have done an exceptional amount of work."

John leaned out and whistled.  "They're here!" he shouted.  He heard squeals and got out of the way.  The younger ones were so excitable.  They were bouncing around Faith and Buffy, dragging them along to show them what they had found, cleaned up, and made pretty for them.  He looked at Giles.  "Xander said he didn't want to be a field watcher."

"I know.  He told me that when I asked.  We'll figure out what we're doing later on next week.  For right now, he's right, we need to settle into a routine."

John pointed at the schedule board.  "That's what we have so far."

He looked then smirked.  "I can adhere to that."  He looked around.  "Ladies, let me look in my office and start a list of things we'll need to buy," he called.

"Tampons," Faith yelled.

"Of course," Giles muttered, cracking John up.  "Thankful you have boys?"

"Not that Sammy doesn't act like a girl now and then, but yes.  I don't think I could've handled periods or those things."  Xander came strolling in.  "Late?"

"Picking up stuff the girls dropped.  I'm not your maid!" he yelled.  The girls came to get their stuff and put it up properly.  He looked at Giles.  "Your office is clean and there's a list started, starting with tables and chairs for the school and a few new beds over here.  We had to scavenge the other building for a few.  I listed the major repairs that I saw.  A good contractor can probably do all the fixing work within two months, including the schools' roof over the caf.  That awning has a few holes."  That got a nod and Giles gave him a hug.  "Welcome home."

"Thank you, Xander."  He walked him off, going to look at his office.  It was very nice.  Rather stately.  Had some of his furnishings from home.  "Joyce?"

"And Gunn."  He smirked, walking off to start water for tea and coffee.  Giles came in a few minutes later and hugged him.  "Not like I wanted to lose my stuff, Giles."  He got a pat on the back and the old man went to fondle his books.  Xander looked out when he heard a familiar pickup truck, smiling at the man getting out.  "I've got water on for coffee or tea, Bobby.  John's back this way."  He nodded, following his voice back to where he was.  Xander gave him a hug.  "He's back in the dorms avoiding the squealing girls who want to paint."

Bobby laughed, heading back the way Xander had pointed, finding John being babbled at by a bunch of girls.  "Glad Sammy's not really a girl?"

"Definitely."  He looked at them.  "Settle in then we're setting up the chores schedule."  They went to do that.  He shook Bobby's hand.  "You okay?"

"I'm good.  Dean and Sammy ran into a few issues on the way here that got them called back.  That Meg demon went after them."  Xander walked in a steaming pot of water.  "We can't do that back here?"

"The girls would steal it for cocoa."  He let John take it to make instant coffee.  "They get free of Meg yet?"  Bobby nodded.  "Good.  I'm about to have a talk with her to get information."

"They killed her," Bobby said.

Xander looked at him then shook his head.  "No they didn't.  She tried to have someone sneak in here to get John."  Bobby groaned.  "So I'm heading off to deal with her since she's being rude."  Giles came in with Buffy yammering at him.  "Hey!"  She stopped.  "Quit.  Put yourself on the chore schedule, let Faith make her own.  Marilyn will be back later to finish the anti-mojo stuff she's been working on.  Willow can help if she's in any shape to.  For now, settle in and let's start making this a nicer home.  It's been years since it was occupied and it needs a lot of scrubbing."  Buffy grimaced.  "Unless you can pay for a maid?"

"No," she muttered. "My allowance isn't that good."  She went to look at the schedule then sighed and made her own.  "Faith and I can lead patrols."

"Good.  Faith can take my spot since Dean and Sammy popped up an issue that tried to sneak in here to get John.  He can show you where everything is and I'm heading later."  She stared then sniffled.  "Do not," he warned.  "I've got to do this.  She's after their family and they can't defend against her as fully as I can since I'm not family.  I'll be back in a few weeks."  He looked at John then at Bobby.  "So, how's South Dakota?"

"Pretty usual.  Marilyn not here?  Her husband wanted her to call."

"She's herb shopping and getting vegetables for the kitchen.  The girls eat like an army."  Bobby laughed but nodded.

"Marilyn took over cooking and took some of the girls off cleaning to help," John told Giles.  "We've fleshed out the chore schedule to include that, grass cutting, and helping her with defining the boundary since she's placing little markers on it to link the magic wards to."

"That's fine," he assured him.  "You've both done an amazing job."  He smiled.  "Are you sure, Xander?"

"Yeah.  It'll kill Sammy if I don't since they want him for some reason.  It's about the demon that took out their mom."  John looked at him.  "Meg's his daughter."

"Fuck," he muttered.  From behind him someone giggled.  "Not until you're older."

"Yes, John," the girl laughed.  "We need a swear jar."

Xander looked at her.  "After a long night of hunting you'd swear too."  She nodded, bouncing off, pulling Buffy with her to show her the PT field.  "She's going to be bouncier than I am on a box of ho-hos, but she's good in the kitchen.  Marilyn's said she's hers from now on, no matter what."

"I'll remember that," Giles agreed.  "When were you thinking of going?"

"Later tonight.  After lights out.  It's my night to patrol so I'll show them where things are then fade into the night."  He looked at Bobby, smirking some.  "Came to help?"

"Of course.  Someone's got to.  The old sort had very little sense."

"Amen," John muttered.  Giles coughed to hide his laugh.  "We figured the other building could be easily turned into suites for couples and the older folks, Rupert."

"That's more than reasonable, " he agreed.  "Right now dorms will be good enough.  Housing is secondary as long as everyone has a place to sleep."  Xander nodded at that.  "Did you research contractors?"

"Nope."

"Then I'll do that later this week as well."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Let's go talk about what sort of additions we'll need?  My office is fairly comfortable, gentlemen.  Bobby, you can help as well.  The old sort will be I'm sure."  That got a nod and they walked that way, looking over the campus.  It was pretty but a bit small. Then again if he had to he could expand or make some of the new buildings multi-purpose.

***

Xander found the demon that he wanted working on a spell and frowned.  "No way in hell," he said, breaking her concentration.  She squeaked, turning to face him.  "Meg."

"You," she sneered.  "Do you know how many plans you messed up?"  She stomped over but he punched her.  "Hey!"

"Oh, shut up!"   He moved closer then pulled out something, looking at his beloved axe as it unshrunk.  Willow's spell was very good for his baby.  Then he looked at her.  "You want Dean, you get me."

"Aww, I heard he was taking it up the ass."

"Not often but he does give a great blow job."  She sneered so he smirked back. "Then again I heard Sammy does too."  She lunged and he fought with her.  All the training John and Dean had given him was showing now.  She was pretty decent but starting to cast something.  He cut her on the stomach and she screamed in pain.

Someone ran in.  "Hey!"

Xander turned and shot at the guy, hitting him on the leg.  Red blood.  "Damn it," he muttered. Then he went back to her.  She finally died and he went to look at the man.  "I'm sorry.  She's been working to kill a few friends and she attacked me too."  He bandaged the small graze.  "That should be fine and shouldn't need stitches."  He looked at him, seeing the blank eyes.  "Possessed?"  It growled.  "I make that sound now and then."   The man moved to bite him and Xander blocked with the axe, scrambling to his feet to hold him off.  He finally got the guy pinned, panting the exorcism chant while his blessed axe was pressed against the guy's chest.  He went limp and dusted.  Xander shook his head.  "Not good."  He looked back at Meg, who was still dead.  He got up and walked over, cutting off her head.

"I feel like a Highlander, but there can be only one, bitch."  He walked off, heading into the night.  He knew where her next attack would be.  The underground had been whispering about it like it was the best surprise birthday party ever.  He found the right spot with his rental car and looked around, casting the spell Marilyn had helped him learn.  It'd make his cheap rental seem like the Impala to the demon possessed semi she had created.   He drove along at Dean Speed, which was a bit different than usual driving speed.  Had to make it look good.  He winced when he saw the semi barreling his way, shifting the car some so the semi would hit the back instead of the passenger's side door.  He was still knocked out, the car was still totaled, and the semi still left the scene.

***

Sam pointed ahead.  "What's that?  Looks like an accident."  They could see headlights that weren't quite straight and the car in the middle of an intersection on the old highway.  It was pitch black and no other cars were out tonight.

Dean looked.  "That's ....  Our car?" he asked.

"No, can't be."  They stopped, looking at the wreckage.  Then he saw the person in it.  "Dean, it's Xander!"  He got moved and Dean got the door open, checking him over.  "That's got to be a spell."

"Call someone," Dean growled.

"No signal.  Can we move him?"

"No!"  He took the phone and muttered the same spell Xander did, getting a signal so he could call for help.  "I'm on thirty at the intersection with fifteen.  There's been an accident.  Bad one.  Looks like something huge hit a smaller car.  The driver's unconscious and not responding to touch or noise.  Head injury looks like.  Tell them to bring a back board."  He hung up and checked Xander's legs, making him shift when he hit a sore spot.  "Don't move, Xander.  It's me.  I've got you.  The ambulance is coming."  Xander whispered something.  "What was that?"  Xander whispered it again.  "No, Xander.  Stay with me."  A cop car came rushing up with the lights on and Sam flagged him down.  Dean took the spell off the car, making the guy blink.  "He's like that.  We need the paramedics faster.  I think he's got a broken leg and I know he's got a head injury."

The cop looked.  "Looks like a semi was flying."

Dean nodded. "Could be.  I've seen it happen before."  The ambulance came and Dean looked at the paramedics.  "I'm his boyfriend."  They nodded, letting him ride with them to the hospital.  Dean tossed Sam the keys.  "You dent her and I'm killing you."  He sat near Xander's head, holding his hand.  "I'm here, Xander.  We're going to be just fine.  It'll all be okay."  Xander mumbled something else.  "No, you stay with me on this plane.  Hear me?  Before I get Dad to kick your ass."  He leaned closer.  "We'll talk later. For now, rest and heal.  I'm here.  I'll protect you."  Xander blinked at him, barely opening his eyes.  "It's still me.  I'll yell later."  Xander blinked again.  "Rest and heal, Xander.  You're not dying on me.  Not until I straighten out this fight."  Xander fell back unconscious and he looked at the paramedics.  "Someone was after us.  I'm not sure who."

"That's not that unusual around here.  Gay bashing?"

Dean shrugged.  "Partially.  She wants my brother.  Xander went to deal with her after we had a fight."  They pulled into the hospital and Dean came out.  He was stopped by a nurse.  "He's a combat veteran from street warfare."  She hissed. "Not a gang.  He was helping protect an area.  He'll react strangely.  He's also very sensitive to drugs sometimes."

"We'll keep that in mind.  Stay there and watch."  She hurried in to let the doctor know that the guy was going to be violent when he woke up.  The paramedics description of the car made them all wince.  The CT didn't help any either.  There was a reason the boy was slipping toward a coma.  The doctor went to brief Dean and he insisted he was staying so they let him for now.

His brother showed up an hour later, making Dean go to their motel room for a quick nap while he watched.  Dean stared him down.  "I'll protect him, Dean," Sam promised quietly.  "Hold his hand, talk to him, all that.  For now, go take a short nap and come back."  Dean nodded, leaning over to touch Xander on the head before leaving.  Sam took his chair.  "Hey, Xander.  It's Sam.  It'll be okay.  Dean'll be back soon.  Let him catch twenty."  He leaned forward to touch the limp hand. "Are you cold?  I can get you another blanket."  He summoned the nurse.  "His hand is cold, can I get him another blanket?"

"Of course.  Where's the angry one?"

"My brother went to catch twenty.  We got up at five this morning."  She nodded.  "He'll be back soon.  Nothing stops Dean when he needs to be somewhere."

"I'll remember that.  The neurologist is coming soon.  Hopefully he'll have better news for your family."

"Damn it, I forgot to call Dad."  She pointed at the room phone before leaving.  He pulled out his phone to find the number then dialed with his calling card.  "Dad, Sam.  No, huge problem.  Xander got hit by a semi while it looked like he was drawing an attack away from us," he said quietly.  "I made Dean take a nap.  I'm with him right now.  Yeah, that's where we are.  Did he tell you about the attack?"  He listened to what he had found out after Xander had left.  "No one warned us?"  He listened to the rest.  "Do you think she'll try it again?"  His father said something.  "Really?"  Dean walked in. "Dad knows what happened."

Dean took the phone.  "My asshole was doing what?"  He listened to him, nodding.  "Then why did his car look like ours?"  He shuddered.  "I'll thank him after I scream at him for walking out that way.  You sure?"  He looked at the guy on the bed.  "Since when did he have his own apartment in Cleveland?"  He nodded once.  A fall back position and so he didn't have to live on the compound, a safety measure in case someone attacked the senior council members since he might end up one.   "We can do that.  Sammy, do we have more than a general idea?"

"The nurse said the neurologist was coming soon.  Then we'd know about comatose states and things."  Dean nodded.  "I'm sure he's going to be fine, Dean.  Did Dad tell you he and Meg had a chat?"

Dean listened to that information.  "One less evil thing.  Thanks, Dad.  Yeah, consider me glued here.  If I can."  He pushed the nurse's call button.  "Our father is in Cleveland, where Xander just moved to.  Is there a way we can move him?"

She considered it.  "I'll ask the doctors when they show up tonight.  The neurologist just called up some medicines for him.  Does he have a specific place in mind?"

"We'll have one by tomorrow," Dean said.  "Thanks, Dad.  Yeah, I'm here."  He hung up and faced her.  "Is he in a coma?"

"The doctor will tell you in a few minutes.  He's on his way up."  Dean nodded.  "Do you have paperwork as his family?"

"It's in our car," Sam told her.  She nodded.  "I can get it in a while."

"That'll be fine.  Are you all brothers?"

"No, that's my asshole," Dean told her with a small smirk.  "We had a fight and he stomped off," he said at her odd look at him.  "So once he wakes up I'm going to be correcting some funny mental problems he had about me."

"Flirting?" she asked.

"We were traveling and my brother Sammy kept getting in the way.  Xander and he weren't getting along that well.  He blatantly told me to sleep with my brother before huffing off."

She laughed.  "Did you not approve?"

"I was a bit freaked out," Sam admitted, looking down.  "I didn't know Dean swung that way.  I was trying to find my footing with him and it wasn't going well.  Xander was a bit touchy."

"Then hopefully you'll work it out while he's recovering."

"He was just with our Dad," Dean admitted. "Dad said he'll listen and hey, he can't get away from me in here."

She walked off laughing. The doctor gave her an odd look.  "Mr. Harris' ...partner is in there with his brother."

"Harris' brother?" the doctor asked.

"No, his partner's brother.  They had a small spat and Mr. Harris was sulking with their father before heading back this way.  They have the paperwork back at the hotel."

"That's fine.  Any other news?"

"Harris just moved to Cleveland and their father's there at the moment.  They were wondering about moving him."

"There's a few very good hospitals that way I'd trust," he admitted, walking into the room to give them the bad news that Xander was in a fairly deep coma and his chances were iffy at the moment.  Sam questioned him about several facts, getting all the information he could.

***

John hung up and looked down then looked over at the other slayers and watchers. "Xander led off the attack on the boys by pretending to be them."  Marilyn smiled. "By turning his rental car into the Impala with magic, from what I heard?"  She nodded.  "She called and possessed a semi, Marilyn."  She went pale and quit smiling.  Buffy and Giles both looked worried.  "He's in a hospital out there but the boys found him and they're with him.  They're going to get him moved back this way.  The way they sounded it's a bad injury, guys.  I'm sorry."

"Oh, no," Marilyn whispered.  "I didn't mean for him to get hurt.  He asked."

"Xander often pulls his own plans where something is necessary and ends up getting hurt," Giles admitted. "He nearly died another time he did something like this."  Buffy looked at him oddly.  "The bomb in the school basement, Buffy.  The timer didn't have that much time left and I doubt he would've run."  John moaned at that.  "He'll be fine.  He's a strong boy and once he's closer we can work on healing spells."

"I'll tell Willow, get her started on one," Buffy said, pulling out her phone to call her. "Wills, Buffy.  Xander was in an accident with a demonic semi he was trying to draw away from his honey and the little brother.  They called.   John said it sounded very serious."  She nodded.  "Could help, yeah.  Thanks, Wills."  She hung up.  "She'll look up healing spells now.  The coven in Devon has a lot of books on healing."  She looked at John.  "When you know we will?"

"Of course.  The boys want to move him back this way.  He'll need some healing time and he's got the apartment here to do it in plus a lot of fussing girls."

She nodded.  "Ya think?"  Giles chuckled.  "I'm so glad Mom was in that treatment center for the lump.   She and Dawn are safe in Seattle."  She looked at Giles again.  "Is there anything else we can do?"

"Not until he's closer," he said gently.  "I'm sure he's getting as good of care as they can.  Dean is very pushy from what he's complained about before and they'll guard him until he's closer."

"Yes, Giles."  She dug into dinner again, eating listlessly.  The other girls were doing the same.  They liked Xander.  He treated them very well and kept them motivated, even if he did make them scrub things and do their own laundry.

***

Xander woke up and looked around the hospital room, frowning when it was pretty quiet.  "This is not the normal hospital," he said grimly, pushing himself up, holding his head.  "Guess the plan worked a bit too well."

"You think?" a male voice asked.  The guy walked in and stared at him, frowning some.  "Alexander Harris."

"Can't say as I've had the pleasure.  Who're you?"

This one would know, he was a seer and he would know if he lied too heavily about anything.  Plus the kid had earned some truth with what he had done in his life.  A ruse was not going to work on this one.  "You want a nice lie or want the truth?"

"You know me better than that probably."

"Fine.  I'm a Reaper.  I'm here take you over."

"No.  Anything else?"

The reaper came in and sat on the foot of his bed, staring at him. "If you don't, your body will still be there, Xander.  Do you really want to be a vegetable with the way you hated them?"

"Some aren't so bad.  I don't really see myself as a carrot though.  Maybe a piece of corn.  The seed inside the outer husk with stuff around it."  He stared at him.  "I'm not crossing over."

"That's not for you to decide."

"Yeah it is. Or else I'd have woken up there."

"Usually.  Some people we have to come specially gather."  He stood up.  "You're not going to a bad place."

"Yes I am.  I hunted and killed.  That's another lie."  He stood up.  "No way in hell am I going over.  Sorry you wasted the trip but hey, frequent flier miles must be great in your job."

"Usually," he admitted, smirking some.  "What makes you think it's your call?"

"You wouldn't be here."

"Fine.  I'll come back.  If I don't, you'll be one of the spirits your boys hunted."

Xander shrugged.  "I doubt that too."

The reaper stared at him.  "It's a natural process."

"Death likes us."

"Which is why he sent me."

Xander shook his head.  "No thanks.  No deal."

The demon faded out.  "We'll talk again soon."

Xander looked around, then at the bed.  He walked around his room and peeked in the hallway.  Looked just like a normal hospital.  He walked out and didn't see anyone.  So he walked on, finding another girl looking by the elevators.  "Hey."  She jumped then sniffled.  "Don't.  I'm not the scary one."

"I can't find my room or anyone."

"I've been noticing that."  He walked her back to the desk, looking at the charts.  "What's your name?"

"Patricia."

Xander pointed. "You're in two-twenty."  She beamed and went to check.  Xander found his own room number and headed that way, walking back into it to see himself on the bed.  He sat Dean sitting and staring at him, not touching but staring.  He touched himself but his hand went through his body instead of into it.  "I'm not ready to be salted and burned yet," he said, leaning down next to Dean's ear.  "Rock salt tastes nasty.  Remember the time I got it mixed up with the table salt in the room?" he whispered.

Dean didn't seem to hear him.  But he straightened up and shifted closer, touching his hand.  He wasn't looking too happy to be there.  "Xander," he said quietly.  "I'm sorry she did this to you.  If you didn't get her, I will be."

"Chill, dude, I got her earlier."  He moved closer, reaching out to him.  Dean flinched when he moved closer.  "Good boy.  This OOB shit is getting old."  The Reaper showed up again.  "Hey.  OOB is not making me happy."  He touched Dean's ear, making him shiver and brush at the spot.  "Good boy, Dean."

"He can't really feel you."   Xander snorted. "I've been doing this for centuries, Harris."

"With other hunters?"

"No.  Not often."  He pointed.  "It should've been him in that bed.  It was his time."

"Yeah, we had that issue with Buffy's supposed time too."

"Which screwed up a lot of stuff on this side."

Xander shrugged.  "Tough but sorry."

"Fewer dead bodies aren't a bad thing really.  Less paperwork.  Would you rather hear it from the big guy?"

"I doubt you can call the Goddess down to tell me that."

"No but I can call Death."

"Go ahead if you want.  Won't change my mind."

"Xander, why do you think those vengeful spirits are created that make you dissipate them?" he countered.  "They didn't pass the veil when it was their time and they slowly go insane.  Do you want their grandkids to have to hunt you?  Salt and burn your corpse?"

Xander looked at him.  "I'm not dead.  I'm in a coma.  Big difference."  He went back to teasing Dean's ear.  He leaned down again.  "Get Sammy to do what he did the last time," he hissed into it.  Dean got up to call Sammy and talk to him about the possession stuff.  "That's a good first step."  He looked over but the reaper was gone.  "If it's my time I'd be dead for real, not in a coma," he called.  A new spirit appeared and he had to keep himself from lunging over.  "Pick someone else," he snarled.

"I chose this one to calm you down," the new spirit said.

"Isn't working.  Pick something else."   The spirit changed into Willow.  "Better.  Slightly.  So?"

"You can cross over even though it's not fully your time, Xander," she said, moving closer. "All it means is that you won't end up in that bed or one like it for the rest of your long life."

Xander looked at him then at the spirit.  "They wouldn't let me.  Dean knows my wishes.  If you weren't pushing so hard I'd be more impressed."

The spirit grimaced.  "You have a better than average chance to become one of the ones your kind hunt," she said. "We don't like to promote them.  If you cross over it'll mean you can be assigned to help a slayer who needs it or watch over your family."

Xander shook his head.  "No deal.  See, I know when it's my time."  The spirit groaned.  "So shoo.  Even if it changed you're still trying way too hard."

"We'll leave you alone for a few days, let you see what it'll be like, forever walking these halls.  Forever alone."

Xander smirked.  "You do that.  I like the quiet."  The demon sighed but left.  He crossed his arms, looking at his boyfriend.  "I still think you should've slept with Sammy to get over that strangeness."

Sam walked in and paused, frowning, looking at the air.  "Something's different, Dean."

"What's different?"

"There's....  He's out of his body?"

"Possibly.  I keep getting this cold spot touching my ear."

"Then we might be able to help that," he said, coming over to do what he could.  Nothing but the spirit was stronger.  He stared at his pissed off brother.  "He's here, I can feel him."

"One seer to another," he said, moving closer.  "Tell him rock salt tastes nasty," he whispered in his ear.

Sam frowned.  "Rock salt?  Why am I thinking about that?"

Dean frowned.  "Xander got the jars mixed up at the motel one night."  He brightened up.  "So he's here?"  Sam nodded.  "We're sure?"

"I think that's how we made sure we knew."  He looked at the bed then around.  "Xander, we're doing what we can.  The medicines are reducing the swelling.  Just hold on tight."  He looked at Dean. "Let me call Willow.  She just called me."  He nodded, letting him go while Dean sat down again, holding his hand.

"You had to do this and make me have my lone mushy moment this decade?" Dean muttered.

"Not really my choice.  I tried to avoid the semi more than I did."

Dean looked at him.  "We're having a long talk once you wake up, Xander.  You were so wrong and I...  I could use you back.  You have more style than Sammy does on the hunt.  Even if you did pull out some of the ugly shirts again according to Dad.  That was a good move getting the stuff out of Sunnydale before it crashed in.  Even Joyce said so."

"I didn't want to lose my favorite shirt or Star Trek book."

"I'm sure you're pretending that it was nothing or something selfish, like usual, but it was a good thing.  It's helped a lot."  He gave the warmer hand a squeeze.  "At least you don't feel like a corpse."

"Not my fault they keep it so cold in here."  Xander looked at his body then looked into his mind.  "Hmm. Interesting.  They didn't bring all of me over."  He smirked and smacked Dean on the head.  "Jackass.  Don't you dare yell at me for not being Sammy.  It's not my fault you two couldn't figure out how to not ignore me.  Half the time you forgot I was in the car when we stopped.  You were always going back for more sodas and food because you forgot.  And tell the asshole to leave my iPod alone.  It's not his.  It goes to Dawn if I die."  Xander sat on the foot of his bed, working on his own inner core.  He could still touch it or he'd be dead.  He knew that.  And they hadn't brought over his possessors.

***

Sam walked in two hours later with Willow.  "The coven have an idea.  Do you think they took the possessions when they let him out of his body?" he asked quietly.  Dean gave him a clueless look.  "He's still bound if they didn't."

"I don't know.  Who are 'they'?"

"Reapers. They escort the spirits to the other side," Willow said grimly. "That's why you don't see more work.  Some of them are more stubborn and need a firmer guiding hand.  I'm sure Xander's snarking at one right now."

"No, ya think?" Xander asked dryly.  "I didn't know they could appear in the real world."  He grabbed Sam's ass, squeezing hard.  Sam frowned and rubbed the same spot.  So he squeezed harder and shifted his wallet.

"Dude, my boyfriend is not groping you," Dean said dryly.

"Something shifted my wallet."

Dean looked at his own wallet, finding the picture he had gotten off Buffy in there.  Then he looked at Willow.  "Don't you have green eyes?"  She went pale.  He let Sammy look. "She does, right?"

"All but when she went evil.  Buffy said she was scared because the black magic raised some veins and gave her black eyes."  He looked at her.  Then at the salt protections around the bed.  "Cute."

She looked down then groaned.  "We don't want a spirit that powerful to haunt here," she told them.

"He won't be," Dean said calmly.

"He will be.  He can't come back.  There's no back button."

Dean smirked.  "If he's still bound...."  She screamed as Sam got her and she disappeared.  "Can we?"

"We might be able to use them to pull him back.  What I'm worried about is it could trap him behind them."

"Probably not," Dean told him.  "Xander had control of it before."

"He didn't have brain bleeding before," he said quietly.

Dean nodded slowly.  "Maybe.  But I know Xander.  He's probably making bad faces at us and accusing me of trying to get you into bed again, Sammy."

"No, it's pretty clear you two did that already," Xander said from his spot on the foot of the bed.  He felt something inside him shift and snarled, going back down to deal with them.  They might be able to unbind the hyena but not his soldier.  That was a part of him.  He touched that and felt the pain he was in.  Then he looked at them. "Pain killers?"

Sam frowned.  "Something's going on."

Xander smiled.  "Dean said you were really smart even if you are an asshole."  He got back to work, pulling himself back into his body.  The usual cord that kept you near your body when you went out of it wasn't there any more but he could match the parts of his soul back together and use that like a puzzle to fit himself back inside.  He hoped.  It was slow work but the two matching spots fit. Then he slowly let it lead him back in while Dean and Sammy talked about how to help him.  Then he had a sudden thought, and the phone went flying off the bedside table.  They both looked.  "Stop dad."  He went back to doing what he had to do.  They couldn't help him until he was back in his body.

Dean picked up the phone, then called his father for some reason.  Maybe he wanted some comfort.  "Dad?  No, something's going on.  We think we can feel Xander's spirit or something.  Well, we've had a spirit called a reaper but she left."  He listened to him, holding his head with his free hand.  "Yeah.  No, I'm pretty sure Xander's fighting his way back.  Because that's the sort of man he is, Dad.  Thanks.  No, they're moving him in a few days back to there."

"I expect a visit and him to tell me I can't hit on the pretty nurses when I'm better," Xander quipped.

Sam frowned.  "Pretty nurses?"

"The last time he was in the hospital Dad called to tell him not to hit on them," Dean said, frowning at the body on the bed then at his brother.   "Can you hear him?"

"No.  But it popped into my head."

Dean handed over the phone with a smirk.  "Talk to dad."   He checked Xander's flinch reflex on his arm.  "C'mon, Xander. I want you back so we can talk."

"You sound like a girl, Dean."

"I do not," Dean said, pouting some.

Sam looked at him.  "Huh?"

"You said I sounded like a girl."

"Um, no but Dad just said you did."  Sam smirked at the voice on the phone.  "He also said Willow just appeared there and said something about linking you for some strength to hold him through.  She said if he's out of his body he can try to get back in.  Though he'll still have to wake up.  She also warned Dad that he might be growling when he woke up."

"We can deal with the primal spirit," Dean assured him calmly.  "Let's worry about getting him back first.  Does she have anything that can help him heal faster?"

"Not yet.  She's looking."  That got a nod and Dean went back to helping.  "Thanks, Dad.  Yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine.  Dad, Willow's stronger than most of Hell's army," he said quietly.  "Xander's going to be motivated to get better."  He nodded. "Exactly.  So we'll handle it and it'll be fine."  He hung up and put the phone back.

Xander lost his match and sighed when he had to start over. "Stupid medicine."  He rematched it.  It got easier this time and the roadblock he couldn't get over last time he could this time.  He knew he could.  Dean gave his hand a squeeze and he frowned when it seemed to block him.  "Dean, protection amulets.  Off.   They're blocking me too."  He snapped one of them on him.

Dean yelped, looking at his wrist.  "Shit.  To keep spirits off me."  He took them off and handed them to Sammy.  "Hold those."

"Sure."  He put them into his pocket.

Xander sighed in pleasure.  That was better.  He went back to sliding into his body, finding it a bit easier this time.  Still had bumps and road blocks.  Probably from the medicine they had him on.

***

John was woken by the phone, groaning at the angry voice on the other side.  "What happened, Sammy?"  He listened to them saying that they couldn't move Xander after all.  "Why?"  He frowned.  "Yes he does have insurance.  He has some through Giles.  He said so."  He hung up and went to find him in his dorm room, knocking gently.  Giles opened it with a frown.  "The hospital out there doesn't think Xander has insurance?"

"He does as far as I know."  He went to look at the papers Willow had kept for him.  "Yes, he does."  He went to fax them to the hospital.

Sam called back and they both listened then corrected some points.  Even if it was an older account, he still had some.  Giles knew he paid his insurance each month because he often needed it.

***

Xander looked at his body.  He had almost gotten it but something was blocking him.  Something higher up and it wasn't the medicine, it wasn't the injury.  Which meant it had to be that Reaper or it had to be magical.  He looked himself over.  Yup, there it was.  He poked that spot then started to poke Sam on that spot until he woke up and swatted him for it.

"Dude, swatting air," Dean said tiredly.

"Something's poking me there."

"Where?"  Sam pointed.  Dean looked at it.  Then at Xander, finding the small marking on him.  "Damn it, she did it again."  Sam frowned at him.  "Willow used to like to mark him with flesh colored tattoos."  He looked then grabbed his knife, slicing it off.  Then he put the knife back and Sam held the small bleeding spot for him with the sheet's edge.

Xander sighed in pleasure and did it again.  He had perfect control of his merging now.  He sank in almost totally then ran into the helpers he had.  "Hey, guys."  He nuzzled the hyena when she tried to pounce him, smiling at the soldier. "Time to come out of hiding, guys."  They looked at their chains.  "We'll work on that while I'm healing?"  She growled and he sighed, releasing her. "The first person you try to eat, rape, or hurt, you're going back."

"You need to merge better with us, not lock us up," the soldier said impatiently.  "Haven't we helped?"

"Many times but if I let you guys out to play fully it's too dangerous.  Buffy will make Willow or Giles banish you."  They both nodded.  "So, subtle?"

"We'll work on it," the soldier agreed. They joined together and then Xander came out behind them.  They were a bit thinner and so were their chains.  "That's helpful."

"Better actually," Xander admitted.

"Don't go on the roller coaster.  It leads down, not up."

Xander nodded, heading off to walk through his mind.  He saw the closed doors and looked.  "Memories.  Not happy ones."  He reclosed it and walked off, heading toward where he could hear things.  It turned out to be a coaster.  He saw an exit sign and looked at it.  Hesitating.  Then he took it and woke up enough to almost blink at the really bright light.   He backed out and looked at the sign.  "I don't think I'm going somewhere that sunny and bright. Unless that was hospital lights?"

"No."  The solider dragged his chains that way.  He looked at the sign behind the sign, showing him.  Xander nodded, so they walked off together, the hyena loping ahead.  He found a spot that felt and smelled like Dean, staying there for a minute.  Dean was asleep and it was fine with him.  He kept moving and found his higher thought functions.  It was a bit older.  "I thought for sure this would be Star Trek, not the inside of a huge clock."

"If you want you can change it but it might not help you any," the soldier him said.  The hyena was nosing a lever so they looked.  "Here, consciousness."

Xander looked then raised it, watching as it raised two slits above him.  He looked up and suddenly it was bright again but he could make out fuzzy shapes.  He slowly blinked at one until it took shape.  Sam.  Not who he wanted to see when he woke up.  He must've scowled because Sam smiled and pointed.

"He's asleep, Xander."  He turned his head and there was a napping Dean in the visitor's chair.  "Nurse!" he called.  She came rushing in.  "I think he's starting to come around."

"I can see that."  She checked him over, smiling.  "You are a very lucky young man."  He swallowed. "Want some water?"  He nodded so she got him some and came back.  "There we are.  Sip through the straw."  He did that for her.  "Good, now, do you know who you are?"  He nodded slowly.  "And where you are?"  He pointed at the bed with his free hand.  "In a hospital, yes.  Do you want me to wake up the yelling one?"  He blinked at her.  "That's fine, we'll let him sleep them."

"He'll yell more," Sam said.  "Dean!"  He snapped awake.  "Look who finally made it back."

He grinned.  "Xander."  He came over to look down at him.  "You need a bath."  Xander slowly flipped him off with a shaky hand.  The nurse laughed, leaving them alone in case they wanted to be mushy.  He leaned down.  "You are *so* in trouble with Dad."  Xander flipped him off, a bit more solid now.  Still shaking.  "Uh-huh. You can do that to Dad.  We're back in Cleveland."  Xander nodded once.  "We heard you have a place here that hasn't been infected by every girl known to watchers."  He patted him on the head, then grimaced.  "They need to do your hair.  How do you feel?"  He slowly shrugged.  "That's fine."  He grinned.  "You're still in trouble for walking off that way."

"Didn't need me."

"Oh, shut up," Sam snapped.  "You calm him down and take him out of pouting asshole moods.   I can't do that."  He stared at him.  "Besides, we're staying local for a bit to help Dad with Giles.  He's in way over his head.  Though I do like the school.  It's a pretty campus."  Xander smiled.  "Now, let me duck out."  He headed out to get Xander something to wear home in a few days.

Dean leaned on the bed railing, staring down at his boyfriend.  "You're wrong."

"You two work better," he whispered.  Dean let him drink more ice water.

"What Sammy and I do is instinctive. You were trained to work with me, Xander.  I'm not losing you and Sammy can start riding in the backseat or we'll look at two cars so he can drive yours now and then since he's not driving mine."  He let him have another drink.  "We'll work this out."  He leaned down closer.  "I did like how you fixed that problem we had been working on.  The news people went on about it for nearly three days."  He petted his head.  "We'll let them give you a bed bath and then we'll work on getting you out of here."  Xander nodded, letting himself drift off again.  "We're here, Xander.  You're safe."  Xander fell asleep and he looked around.  Sammy came back with the nurse.  "He could use cleaned up since he's awake."

"We have him scheduled for a bed bath tonight before his next CT, boys."  She checked him over.  "Expect him to drift off like that for the next few days until he's stronger."  She looked at Dean.  "Now, you head off and catch a real nap."  He opened his mouth.  "You've napped here since he got here.  Go get horizontal.  If you have to, your brother can stay since he's had enough sense to leave for a few hours every day."  She stared him down.

"Go, Dean, I've got it and Dad said he could use the escape from the giggling girls trying to mob him."

"Fine."  He patted Xander on the head.  "I'm being ordered to nap at your place.  Let me grab the keys."  Sam handed a set over.  "From....."

"Dad."

"Thanks."  He headed out, driving about thirty minutes away.  He found the apartment building and the mailboxes told him which was Xander's.  He got into the elevator and headed up, nodding at the woman coming out of hers.

"Are you visiting?"

He looked at her.  "I'm Xander's boyfriend Dean.  He's in the hospital so my brother and I have been taking care of his place for him."

"Oh.  What happened?"

"Car accident.  A semi hit his car."  She hissed and winced.  "He woke up this morning."

"Fine.  Try to be quiet.  The neighbor above you has a new baby and you can hear tv's through the walls."

"Yes, ma'am.  Have a nice day."  He found the right key and looked at the shiny new lock set.  "Three locks?  Bit paranoid, Xander."  He got two open but the other one wouldn't open with the key he had.  So he got out his lock picks and went inside.  He checked, it was Xander's junk mail in the trash so he was in the right spot.  He headed for the bedroom then back to the couch since there wasn't a bed.  He was nearly asleep when someone knocked so he went to open it, nodding at the officer there.  "Yes?"

"Are you the person who's renting this place, sir?"

"I'm his boyfriend.  He's in Mercy on the head trauma unit after a car accident."  The officer winced.  "I'm taking a quick nap before going back there.  He just woke up today."

"The manager's noticed a few different people showing up here."

"Probably my father, brother, and a few of his friends.  They're running a small, private school on that campus up the road."

"Oh.  That explains part of that.  He a teacher?"

"General handyman, does PE, some self defense teaching."  His father came up the hall. "Dad."

"He's awake?"  Dean nodded. "Good.  You two argue?"

"No.  Though I did tell him he was wrong about Sammy and me being that good together."  He looked at the officer.  "My boyfriend thinks I love my brother more than him."

"I guess that can happen.  He sounds a bit petty."

"No, he's a good kid," John assured him.  "Dean and Sammy are tight and Dean quit paying any attention to Xander.  Completely forgot about him when they were on a road trip together.  He had the right to bitch.  What's wrong?"

"The manager was wondering about the people who keep running in and out."

"Someone's got to finish decorating for the boy.  Of course I let the girls do it.  It made them feel useful while he's in the hospital."  The officer nodded so John looked at Dean.  "Nap.  Now.  Shower too."  Dean sighed but went to do that.  He knew an order when he heard one.  The officer laughed a bit.  "He hasn't left the hospital in days."

"I guess that happens.  I'll let him know.  When is he expected out?"

"He's been comatose and coming up now for two weeks.  Probably at least another one."  That got a nod.  "Then we'll come here to fuss over him instead of there."  The officer walked off to talk to the manager.  John looked at the lock then tried the key he had.  Still didn't work.  He leaned in.  "Dean, let me get something to change this one lock with.  I'll be right back."

"Sure, Dad."  He came out of the bathroom in just his jeans. "The keys for the other two work."

"I know.  Need food?"

"I can pick some up on the way back there."  That got a nod and John shut the door.  Dean locked the two locks they had keys for then went back to his pre-shower rituals.  He was tired.  By the time he got out he was ready for a nap.  He climbed into a new pair of boxers and laid down on the couch.  He wasn't going to be moving for a few hours.

When John got back he smiled at his sleeping son.  It was about the only time anyone could call Dean adorable but he was.  Especially since he was holding a pillow to his chest.   He changed the lock but nothing was waking his son up.

***

Giles showed up at the hospital that night, looking down at Xander.  "I'm sorry if the girls mobbed you earlier.  I'm sure you know how they can be."

"Yup."  He looked at him.  "You look rough."

"Running the store was not a good training for running the Council.  I do rather wish it had been in some ways."  He sat down in the visitor's chair.  "How are you feeling?"

"For some reason I have a throbbing headache," he said dryly.

"Yes, well, I'm told the rental company was not pleased with how damaged their car was thanks to the semi.  You did try to get away from it?"

"Yeah.  I almost managed it too.  It got the back end instead of the passenger's door."  Giles smiled at that.  "What else is up?  You have the bad news look on your face."

"Not hardly.  It's been a long day.  Buffy and Willow had to be talked out of having your things moved onto the campus and then going over there to redecorate.  Sam stopped them from doing that.  I have no idea how since I couldn't."

"I'll thank him later.  What else is going on?"

"Nothing much.  We've finally got the last of the buildings cleaned up and arranged for the ripping down of the two unsafe ones.  Willow and Marilyn have finished laying the protections and warnings.  They've also set aside a good spot for working on things until they can get one changed over in one of the buildings."

"You could put up a new one for that," Xander pointed out.

"We could.  Or we could use the basement we found in the school.  It's half underground and Willow thinks it's a good place for that.  So we'll let her arrange that.  I've spent all day dealing with insurance people for the building in England and a barrister over there about estates and things.  Thankfully all Council raised people who left to pursue higher education goals."  He patted his hand.  "Dean would be here but he had to stop and eat on John's orders.  John pulled him out by his ear."

"That's going to be a loud fight anyway."

"No, I don't believe so.  Dean's seen the error of his ways, Xander."  He looked at him.  "If you could come back after graduation and try to put up with the girls and their issues, you can work out this lesser issue.  He does appreciate you and he does care for you.  Or else he wouldn't have not left your side since they found you."

"They did?"

"They did.  They found the car.  Dean's been beside you unless forced to be elsewhere, like on the trip here, since the moment they found you."

"How did I get back to Cleveland?"

"Airlifted.  They followed in their car so it took them a few more hours than it did you but from what I heard the nurses at the other place sent notes saying that you had some clingy in-laws and a very stubborn boyfriend who would be there as soon as humanly possible.  The nurses tried to get him to go rest a few times but to no avail from what I heard.  Even John didn't get him to move from your side."

Xander picked at his blanket.  "That's nice and all but I'm starting to feel like the last year of high school and the Initiative's mess again."

"Yes, but he has learned his lesson.  I doubt he's going back there.  He's not self-centered like the girls could be."

"I told him to get Sammy while I was the hospital in LA."

"Which was good of you to do," he assured him.  "You weren't sure if you were coming back and Dean's better and safer when he's got a partner.  If he goes out hunting while you're recovering at home I'm sure the same thing would happen but they are including you.  Sam's worked through his thoughts by talking to Willow.  Who agreed with you, they do seem as close as lovers now and then."  Xander nodded, giving him an odd look.  "So they're working on it.  Dean's got his head on straight and he's a good boy.  I like you with him so you have my approval of moving on with him.  Or even letting him move in with you since you're not going to be on the road for a good, long time.  Especially if the girls have their way."

"I can hunt."

"Yes but they're worried you'll be hurt worse sometime soon, Xander."  He stroked over his head.  "It'll take months before you're ready after this accident.  You'll have to do a lot of rebuilding muscles and getting back into physical shape to do the work.  John's promised he can help you while he teaches the girls."

"He's good at it."

"Better than I am," he agreed.  "Dean's taken over your spot in the armory.  Sam's been helping Willow and Dawn with the research end of things.  So they're safely settled in until you can come back.  Then if you don't go out with them we'll put you in charge of the girls' patrol training.  That'd put you over John technically but I figure you can work together with him.  Or if and when he leaves to hunt something you can step in."  That got a nod.  "Good.  Now, you should've moved into a better apartment, Xander.  That's in a bad part of town."

"I wanted to save some of the money."

"I'm sure you did."  He stroked over his hair again.  "We'll figure it out.  There's a nice set of condos near the school.  Two miles away, jogging distance."

Xander smiled.  "We'll see."

"Of course."  He leaned closer.  "I don't mind you giving Ethan that book.  I had found it for him anyway in hopes of keeping him out of our hair."

"Has he come back?"

"Not yet.  He's been in India for the last month from what I've heard."  He patted him then stood up.  "You rest, Xander.   You need rest to get out of here."  He nodded and left him alone.

Xander relaxed, willing himself back to sleep.  Dean would be back soon and if he was asleep they couldn't finish their fight.

***

Dean let Xander into his apartment, letting him see the newly decorated space.  "Dawn's back," he said at the odd look his slipcovered couch got.

"That explains why I have a Nemo pillow.  Why is my couch covered in a tapestry?"

"One of the girls did it.  Said it was heavy enough to stand up to good wear and it told a picture.  Now it was like a story for naptimes.  They did the bed too."  Xander moaned, shaking his head.  He gave him a nudge and pointed at something.  The fish on a plaque moved when he got closer and started to sing.  "Dawn said it'd be a good secondary alarm system if someone broke in."

"Yeah," Xander agreed.  "That'd wake me up."  He turned it off and went to lie on the couch.  "Thanks for driving me back, Dean."

"Not an issue."  He sat next to him.  "Now we can talk without you falling asleep."

"Doubt that."

Dean looked around then at him.  "Notice Sammy here?"  Xander looked around then at him, shaking his head.  "We're brothers, Xander.  We hunted for over a decade together with Dad.  You and I work as well together as he and I do and it's only been a little over two years."  Xander opened his mouth.  "No.  Quit.  Sammy's not taking your place.  You're not taking his and Sammy was freaked out by the gay thing so he was reacting.  He's better and he's been talking to Willow to get his head on straight.  He's going to apologize as soon as he gets here tonight.  Then we'll work on the hunting stuff once you're back in shape."

"You can go out with him."

"I don't want to go out with him.  Sammy would demand mushy dates, not taking me to play at an amusement park."  Xander gave him a sheepish grin. "You knew my family was important to me Xander."

"Which I don't disagree with.  I disagreed with Sammy taking my spot and you forgetting I was in the car a few times."

"You were always asleep."

"I couldn't sit up.  There wasn't enough room."

"Good point.  Sammy said the same thing."  He pulled him closer, kissing him.  "We'll work it out.  Maybe the two car idea has a lot of merit, even though it might be Sammy driving it most of the time.  You're not allowed to drive for the next month," Dean said at Xander's opening mouth.  "Not until the doctor and Dad both clear you."

"Dad'll clear me soon."

"Dad said you'll be better than you were before because he's got to give driving lessons to Dawn and a few of the older girls at the school too."  Xander grimaced.  "By the way, Dawn squeals, dude.  Like a whole lot."

"I know that.  She always has."

"She didn't when we had dinner."

"She was studying you for weaknesses."

"I think that is my weakness.  She nearly split an eardrum the last time."

Xander nodded.  "She can do that too when she's excited."  He looked around.  "They did a nice job."

"Buffy let them consider it PE for the day to come move furniture, go shopping for a bed and stuff, and set it up for you."

He grinned.  "She loves to shop."

"Her mom does too.  She filled the kitchen with food."  He gave him another kiss then pulled him closer.  "Nap."

"Not tired yet."

"Bull.  We'll nap together."

"Giles said you were with me the whole time I was climbing back into my body."

"Um-huh," he said with a small nod.  "That reaper chick was freaky."

"She wanted me to cross over so I couldn't become a vengeful spirit."

"It's nice they're keeping that down for us.  Giles wanted a report on that whenever you're ready.  He said he's never heard of them.  Willow found a really obscure reference but nothing much and he wanted to know how you got back in."

Xander grinned.  "The babies."

"You're pregnant?" he teased.  "Damn some demon's in trouble.  Have to kill their asses and baby you."

"Not that sort."

"That's fine then.  Even better.  Dad would freak if you were pregnant.  I can't even imagine the look on his face if he heard you say that."

"I'll tell him when he asks."  He yawned.  "Still not tired."

"Uh-huh."  Dean laid them both down.  Xander slept easier when he could curl around someone.  His boyfriend gave him an odd look but he shrugged.  "You nap better when you have someone there."

"Good point."  He snuggled in and fell asleep on Dean's chest.  Dean smiled, stroking his back until he fell asleep too.  Being snored on was comforting in many ways.  He had missed being snored and drooled on.  Or even being batted at or sucked on.

Sam came over an hour later, smiling at the two sleeping men on the couch, taking a picture for Dawn.  She had wanted one.  He checked to make sure the fish was off then went to quietly cook in the kitchen.   Xander would need better food to heal and their dad was coming over tonight.  Even though it was still odd to hear Xander call Dad dad.  He'd deal though.  Willow was a lot of help helping him get over his thoughts.  Xander wasn't stealing Dean from him but just another facet of Dean's life that he couldn't share with him.  Though Xander probably felt the same way about him.  They'd find a common ground soon enough he was sure.  They were both going to be trying so it'd be fine.

***

John watched his three sons interact.  Xander and Sammy were still dancing around each other.  It was better but Sammy was still giving Xander sideways looks each time he called him dad.  He'd have to talk to his younger son later about that.  Other than that, Dean and Xander were pretty well back together again.  "Xander, Giles wanted to know if you'd take over some of the training from me.  He thinks you'd do better with the younger girls, getting them started off right."

"Am I staying after I heal?" he asked.

"I don't know, kid, are you?" he asked.

"I..."  He shrugged.  "I don't know."

"I understand that and so does he.  He thinks you can get them started while you heal and then decide based on what's going on.  That'll let him lean on us for other things for a bit while he gets things straightened out since things are such a mess in England."  He ate another bite.  Xander gave him an odd look.  "Ninety percent of all Watchers were British citizens."

"Figured that much out.  And?"

"Wills, probates, estates, the insurance stuff," Sam sighed.  "It's been a legal mess and the guy Giles has dealing with it is trying but he's going to need a lot of help."

"Ask Gunn.  Wolfram and Hart did something to him that gave him all this legal information."

"He's helping already," John told him.  "He's working on the wills.  A lot of magical artifacts are now in the open."  Xander winced. "Exactly.  So he's working on that with a few of the more honest lawyers out of the LA branch.  Giles has nearly cowed the insurance company and banks to get their funds back.  There's been a few that've come out of hiding that are protesting but he sicced Buffy and Willow on them.  Willow got them all down and cowed so far.  They don't want to follow the new rules though so he's got to hire more watchers."

"I'm not becoming a field watcher," Xander said firmly.

John smiled.  "He agreed.  You don't have the right mix of skills, Xander.  He said you'd have to be more research oriented.  Now, they did have rescue teams and he wanted you on one of those.  Dean and I too.  He wanted Sammy to be a field watcher if he retired from hunting."  Sam gave him a stunned look.  "It's part research, part stubbornness, a bit of hunting, some negotiations with any harmless ones nearby, plus being able to handle the girl's issues and doubts.  You do have the temperament for that and you do have the right mix of skills.  Giles joked and said you were as close to a younger clone as he'd ever get."

"Wow.  That's ....  That's a really big shock," Sam said but he didn't look unhappy about it.  "If he asks some day I'll think about it."

"You'd do good at it," Dean offered. "Plus it'd give you someone to watch girly music videos with."

Sam shot him an evil look.  "It's more than that."

"There's girl movie nights and club hunting and clothing issues," Xander agreed.  "I went through that with Buffy and Willow."  He patted Sam on the arm.  "You'd do good.  You can stand _Howard's End_ where I couldn't."

Sam shook his head but he ate a bite of dinner.  "It'll be more than that I'm sure.  I'll think about it."

John nodded.  "Good.  Until then Giles wanted me and a few others to go gather the girls that have been called but who weren't in danger for whatever reason."

Dean looked at him.  "If Xander was more healed we could do that."

"If he was more healed.  He's not allowed to fly yet.  He might be sending you two as a team with one of the older girls to do that for any local ones.  Willow's doing a locating spell soon."  That got a nod.  "Right now, she knows that there's three in Africa that have to be found and one in Italy that needs to be moved for her safety as well.   Her family thinks she's possessed."

"Have fun," Xander said.  "Be safe."

"I will be."  He smiled.  "I hit Italy next week then Africa when I get back.  So I'll let you run my girls for now.  Or Dean can run the advanced lessons while you run the lesser ones."

"That'll work," Xander agreed.  "I can get back in shape with that too."

"You can," John agreed.  "Because you're outdoing pitiful by sitting on your ass, son."

"I know, Dad."  He shrugged.  "I tried to avoid the semi.  It was going to hit the passenger's side instead."

"Then you did a fantastic job," Sam said honestly, putting down his fork to sip at his water.  "It only hit the rear on that side.  Thankfully not the gas tank.  If it had hit you where it had been aiming we'd have found you dead, Xander."

"I know.  But they were going after you guys to kill Dean.  It was Meg's last great plan."

"What happened to her?" John asked casually.

"Highlander fans."

John smirked.  "I liked the third one.  The second one was odd."

"If you watch them in first, third, then second it makes more sense," Xander said.  "But then four blows it again.  Though I did like Methos as a character so I like that storyline better."  John shook his head.  "I had all four on DVD.  They were in storage."

"They're under the tv now," Dean told him.  He looked at him.  "I know you were a Star Trek geek, Xander, but the Star Trek jock strap?"

Xander grinned. "It was a present from Willow's mother to make me want to do sports and be like a normal boy more often.  She thought it could be used as motivation and give me courage."

"I don't think you lack in that.  I think you have too much brains to stand there and let someone hit you in football and you don't really do well in most of the other sports they teach in schools."

"I do okay in dodgeball."

John looked at him.  "That's because that's like team hunting."

"True.  And fun when you're possessed by a hyena," Xander quipped back.  Dean laughed.  "It was.  We turned on our own team instead of taking on Buffy."

"The life you used to live was too strange, kid," John said dryly.

"Well, yeah.  Have the Feds shown up about my weapons yet?"

"Twice," John admitted.  "Which is why we swept the place for bugs while you slept."  Xander grinned.  "Giles said it was almost immediate when they got settled in.  The government is paranoid.  Fortunately Buffy went hunting that night and the Feds followed her.  They were not happy but they now understand."

"You know, Riley's group was moved to Homeland," he said dryly.

John laughed.  "I'll let Giles know that."

"Good.  Put him to use since he's a pustule on the nose of hunting."  He ate another bite.  "It's good, Sam.  You sneak and cook very well."

"I was trying hard not to wake you, Xander."

"You only did the once when the drawer bit you," Xander assured him with a grin.  "It does the same thing to me.  I think it's possessed."

"It was.  I fixed that."  He looked at Dean. "Pastor Jim said you haven't called recently.  He was going to thump you with his bible for not calling to check in."

"I wasn't sure he wanted to hear what was going on."

"Bobby told him," John said, eating another bite.

"He said he wasn't happy but if it suited you, you had earned a lot of happiness and your good works outdid any indifference he might feel about you being with Xander.  He's an actual preacher, Xander, so he's a bit firm on some biblical things."

Xander shrugged.  "I know I've disappointed many girls by making Dean like me instead of them."

Dean poked him on the arm.  "Then they're too shallow.  Besides, plenty of them pant after you.  They're evil but they try you more often."

Xander looked at him.  "I'm not drawing evil women anymore.  Haven't in years."

Dean smacked him lightly on the head.  "Yes you do.  Or shouldn't I mention Phoenix?"

"Hey, head injury," Xander said, rubbing the back of his head.

Dean patted him instead.  "I was gentle."  He grinned.  "Should I tell Dad about Phoenix?"

"Oh, I've heard," John assured him.  "One of the other hunters was in town for a problem in the projects with a demon crack dealer.  He told Ellen.  Who called and said 'did you know Dean was gay' first off.  I bragged and she said it's good he's so good and she'll let you buy him a round when you come in the next time."

Dean shook his head.  "She say anything else?"

"Like with the women, no making out in the bar."

"There's a lesbian hunting pair," Sam told Xander.  "Ellen said they couldn't make out; het people couldn't make out in the bar, unless her daughter was doing it, and neither could any other couple."  Xander shrugged.  "Jo might yell though.  She's a bit narrow- minded and fussy."

"We'll cross that bar when we get to it," Dean pointed out.

"Even if I do get into a public making out mood to make her scream and stomp off so she can't hit on Dean again," Xander said.  Dean gave him an odd look.  "You told me about her when you were drunk the last time and made me put you to bed before I tossed you in the dumpster."

"Oops."

John laughed.  "There's been a few times I wanted to do that too, Xander.  Eat."  Xander dug in again.  "You too, Dean.  You've been doing a lot of work."  Dean nodded, digging in again.  He looked at Sam, who had nearly cleared his plate.  "Do I have to remind you too?"

"No, I'm nearly full.  I haven't been doing that much, plus I nibble while I research."

"It's a fine old Sunnydale tradition to not tell Giles you got chinese or pizza on the books," Xander quipped.

"I'm sure he appreciated that the next time he got into those books," Sam said dryly.  "I know he opened one this afternoon and had this thoughtful look for a minute before saying 'Buffy' and going back to reading."

"He knows who got it then," Xander assured him.  "He was thinking back to see which one of us had the book the last time."

Sam shook his head.  "You guys were insane back in Sunnydale.  Buffy's been telling the girls what happened back then."

"Everything or the edited version?" Xander asked.

"Not really sure."

Xander reached back and grabbed the phone to call her.  "If you're telling the junior mini- yours the Sunnydale story, tell them all of it so they don't end up with an Angel of their own," he ordered.  "Yes, every little bit, Buffy.  Even the bad stuff and not just my dating life."  He hung up and went back to eating.  "Thanks for cooking, Sam."

"Not a problem, Xander.  I like to cook sometimes."

"I can cook simple stuff but I'm out of practice," Xander admitted.

Dean nodded. "I'm a grilling master but I'm out of practice too."  His father shook his head at that announcement.  "I am.  Jim said so."

"Bobby said I wasn't allowed to let you near the grill or else we'd all have to eat demon steaks," Xander said dryly.

"It wasn't my fault it was attracted to the steaks I was grilling for the cookout."

"Boys," John chided. "You two are horrible."

"Worse than I am," Sam agreed with a smirk.

John looked at him.  "I doubt that.  When you and Dean start on one of your arguments we used to walk away so we couldn't get drawn into it.  Dean will jump Xander and it'll be fixed sooner.  Without broken furniture from the rolling around like when you were seven."

Sam blushed.  "He started that one."

"You were being an asshole," Dean reminded him.  "Not my fault I wasn't scoring with the women we were pumping for information, it was yours."

"That would've made you how old?" Xander asked dryly.

"He was flirting with the local librarian," John told him.  "Without permission."

"It worked.  I got what we needed," Dean countered with an evil smirk of his own.  "And you nearly got a date out of it."

"That's because she thought you two needed a mother badly," John countered.  Xander snickered.  "There's been a lot of women who wanted to date me because the boys were being cute and Sammy was being cuddly, or Dean was being mischievous."

"Dad had to beat many women off him.  That's where I get it from," Dean said with a grin for Xander.  "Which is how you got me."

"Because I knew I'd be a grandfather soon if I didn't," John agreed with a wink for Xander.

"Well, my mother did say I was a good excuse for birth control," Xander said dryly.  "Then again she forgot and I nearly had a sister."  He ate another bite.  "Did they get out?"  John shrugged.  "Anyone check?"

"Not that I know of," John admitted.  "There's a FEMA list somewhere.  Willow could probably hack it."

"I'll ask her then."

"Going to check in?" Dean asked casually.

"Probably not in person."  Dean nodded at that.  "But to make sure I don't have to do stupid insurance paperwork."

"If so, I'm sure we can help," Sam said, trying to supportive.

"After all, he tried to do some on you," Dean finished, giving Xander a look.  He got one back.  "You still okay?"

"I'm better.  I didn't really hurt him when he did that."  He shrugged and rubbed his forehead.  "Let's change to happier topics.  Is Angel swearing at me again for making Wolfram and Hart work for the light?"

"Angel nearly put out a hunt and execution order for making them get into his business," John assured him smugly.  "That was so mean."

Xander grinned.  "Then next time they shouldn't try to kidnap my ass.  And I did it in leather too."

"I saw.  Sammy sent me a picture of that outfit.   Did he ask if you were turned?"

"When I was outside in the sunlight.  I had to point that out twice, John.  He was a bit stunned by my cute ass."

"So was I," Dean assured him.  "You looked scary in that, Xander."

"I should wear that and go scare the girls and Faith."

"Faith is a girl," Sam pointed out.

"Well, technically she's an ex," Xander said with a grin.  "But only for a few minutes."

"You slept with Faith?" Sam asked, looking confused.

"She was my first one," Xander agreed.  "Then she tossed me out.  I went to handle the zombies planting bombs in the school basement."

Sam shook his head quickly.  "You guys had it so much worse than we did.  They made me drink for mine and then tossed me into a room with a set of fraternal twin hookers."

Dean grinned.  "It worked, right?"

"Well, yeah."

Xander shrugged.  "He had to pull me to a whorehouse in Vegas to get a guy to suck me off the first time.  That broke it for me because you dad was insistent, no matter what Giles and Willow said."

"And we were right. You quit drawing half the evil you had been drawing," John said dryly.

"No, he didn't," Dean complained.  "Not even after I finished breaking him in.  The ghosts were just as happy with him as before, Dad."

John moaned.  "Any idea why?"

"Marilyn thinks it's because he's a medium," Dean offered.  Xander nodded at that.  "But that doesn't explain why half the evil women in Las Vegas thought he was a rent boy even without Willow's lust spell."

John laughed. "I remember spanking her for that."

Sam gaped.  "She did a what?"

"Lust spell trying to keep Xander het and us apart," Dean said honestly.  "Small lust spell.  Took a good bit of lotion to cancel.  Any woman who got within three feet of him decided to want him, even the witch we went to for help."

"Well, yeah, but it was fun at first," Xander complained.  "When it was stronger all the women thought I was a pro so they tipped me heavily.  One even said she had paid for my time.  I still don't know who she paid."  He shrugged.  "But I made ten grand."

Sam spluttered.  "You took advantage of it?"

"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas unless you get VD," Xander quipped back, cracking John up.  "That is their motto with a practical ending."

"True," Dean agreed.  "Thankfully we use condoms in this family."

"It's still probably not safe if the higher society women think he's a playtoy," John said through his laughs.

"He's the one who sent one to the ER for the heart attack she got from riding him," Dean complained.  "And the other from her back going out while riding him."  John and Sam both gaped.

"Didn't we take you for similar reasons?" Xander asked him.

"Yeah but we hadn't had sex in days thanks to Sammy sharing the motel room with us and you were wearing that green leather outfit."

John shook his head.  "I had to pull over and laugh when I read that message."

"Next time we'll make up some sort of code to let Sammy know we're cuddling," Xander assured him.  "That way it doesn't stretch out too far on Dean."  Dean pinched him. "Hey!"

"You're the one who nearly died the next time."

"That's because the motel's owner burst in and thought I was evil for letting you tease me."

"You were being an evil tease," Dean assured him.

"Was that when you sent me out to find a double feature movie?" Sam asked.  Dean smirked and nodded.  "Next time just tell me, dude.  We're not teenagers.  Say something like 'I'm getting down with the boyfriend' and I'll disappear and text before I show back up."

"We don't often get down and funky like weasels," Xander admitted, looking at Dean.  "Why is that?"

"Too tired after hunting."

"Oh yeah."  Sam snickered.  "It'll come I'm sure."

"As soon as everyone goes home," Dean assured him.  Xander gave him a look.  "That way you get some sleep."

Xander snorted.  "Am I that easy, Dad?"

"Yes, son, you are."  Xander pouted at him for saying that.  "You'd fall on your back in a heartbeat if Dean gives you the right look and incentive."

"Oh."  He frowned at Dean.  "Are you sure I'm ready for that with my head?"

"Yup.  I won't bang it into anything, even the pillow.  You can lay there and enjoy it."

"Okay, I wouldn't mind laying there and enjoying it.  Or even a really good backrub."

Dean smirked.  "If I can work it into my seduction attempt."

"It's how you got made," John told him.

Dean looked at him.  "TMI, dad."

"Sorry," he said with a smirk.

"At least you didn't have to hear about the tequila hallucinations that included a shark, a coconut it brought her, and the pretty pearl of the moon that I got when I asked where babies came from," Xander said dryly, digging into his dinner again.

"No, Dad handed us to Pastor Jim who told us that babies came from God and a cabbage patch," Sam said.  "Your mom told you tequila?"

"Apparently I did."  He shrugged and ate his last bite of dinner.  John looked at him. "What?  She did."

"Eat more. You need it to heal, Xander."

"No more," Sam admitted.  "I didn't think he ate like one of the slayers."

"Now and then all boys do," John assured him.  That got a nod from Dean.  "Just like you used to, Sammy."

"I can make more later if he's still hungry," Sam offered.

Dean looked at him.  "I'll make some later if he's still hungry."  Sam blushed but nodded.  Xander yawned.  "C'mon.  Let's get on with that backrub.  It'll make your back feel better after so long on the hospital mattress."  He led him into the bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.

"It wasn't on purpose," Sam told his father when he got scowled at.

"You'll figure it out, son.  Let's load the dishwasher and then leave."  That got a nod and they did that then closed and locked the door behind themselves.  That way no one would interrupt whatever plans Dean had made.  He drove Sam back to the compound, letting him head inside to talk to Giles about being a watcher.  John went to his own room to talk to his wife's picture about how insane their older son was for his boyfriend and Sammy was jealous but he was getting over it.  Some day soon it'd be Dean and Xander in his car and Sammy with his slayer in his own car, then everything would be fine because they'd be an excellent hunting team.  Nothing evil would get past them.  If worst came to worst, Xander could draw it, Dean would get jealous and slay it with Sammy and his future girl.  Or Xander would bait it, the girl would slay, and his sons would quip and grade them on their performance, then Dean would claim his mate.  Something like that.  His Mary would've been so amused by them.  Especially Xander. She would've loved the little hunting goofball his son had taken a shine to.  She'd have even let him have chocolate on purpose so he could drive them all nuts bouncing.  She had been like that too.  Dean was like him and Xander was like Mary.  They'd be a scary team in the future.

The End.

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The Idea Behind the Story. 2

The Story. 3